Wikiquote:Village pump

<mediawiki xmlns="http://www.mediawiki.org/xml/export-0.11/" xmlns:xsi="http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema-instance" xsi:schemaLocation="http://www.mediawiki.org/xml/export-0.11/ http://www.mediawiki.org/xml/export-0.11.xsd" version="0.11" xml:lang="en">
  <siteinfo>
    <sitename>Wikiquote</sitename>
    <dbname>enwikiquote</dbname>
    <base>https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Main_Page</base>
    <generator>MediaWiki 1.47.0-wmf.3</generator>
    <case>first-letter</case>
    <namespaces>
      <namespace key="-2" case="first-letter">Media</namespace>
      <namespace key="-1" case="first-letter">Special</namespace>
      <namespace key="0" case="first-letter" />
      <namespace key="1" case="first-letter">Talk</namespace>
      <namespace key="2" case="first-letter">User</namespace>
      <namespace key="3" case="first-letter">User talk</namespace>
      <namespace key="4" case="first-letter">Wikiquote</namespace>
      <namespace key="5" case="first-letter">Wikiquote talk</namespace>
      <namespace key="6" case="first-letter">File</namespace>
      <namespace key="7" case="first-letter">File talk</namespace>
      <namespace key="8" case="first-letter">MediaWiki</namespace>
      <namespace key="9" case="first-letter">MediaWiki talk</namespace>
      <namespace key="10" case="first-letter">Template</namespace>
      <namespace key="11" case="first-letter">Template talk</namespace>
      <namespace key="12" case="first-letter">Help</namespace>
      <namespace key="13" case="first-letter">Help talk</namespace>
      <namespace key="14" case="first-letter">Category</namespace>
      <namespace key="15" case="first-letter">Category talk</namespace>
      <namespace key="118" case="first-letter">Draft</namespace>
      <namespace key="119" case="first-letter">Draft talk</namespace>
      <namespace key="710" case="first-letter">TimedText</namespace>
      <namespace key="711" case="first-letter">TimedText talk</namespace>
      <namespace key="828" case="first-letter">Module</namespace>
      <namespace key="829" case="first-letter">Module talk</namespace>
      <namespace key="1728" case="first-letter">Event</namespace>
      <namespace key="1729" case="first-letter">Event talk</namespace>
    </namespaces>
  </siteinfo>
  <page>
    <title>Wikiquote:Village pump</title>
    <ns>4</ns>
    <id>93</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943975</id>
      <parentid>3941703</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T15:10:24Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>MABot</username>
        <id>3002050</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>Bot: Archiving 2 threads (older than 35 days) to [[Wikiquote:Village pump archive 64]]</comment>
      <origin>3943975</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="10300" sha1="3gdbyuiuvvqq792pcgpp23lfrlmiy8q" xml:space="preserve">__NEWSECTIONLINK__
{{Wikiquote:Village pump/Header}} {{User:MABot/config
|archive = Wikiquote:Village pump archive %(counter)d
|algo = old(35d)
|counter = 64
|maxarchivesize = 300K
|minthreadsleft = 4
|archiveheader = {{Village pump archives}}
|minthreadstoarchive = 1
|key = 3009d0c464caec663eab7ed3f8987744
}}

== Why are quotes no longer underneath photos? ==

When I look at wikiquote on my phone all I see is a picture until I swipe left or resize the he frame the I see the quote smashed to the right of the photo?  Why did this change? [[Special:Contributions/&amp;#126;2026-21862-27|&amp;#126;2026-21862-27]] ([[User talk:&amp;#126;2026-21862-27|talk]]) 16:42, 9 April 2026 (UTC)
: On [[User:Codename_Noreste/sandbox|my sandbox]], I am attempting to figure out a redesign. Anyway, about the change, context can be found at [[#QOTD sizing issue on main page]] for implementing the new change. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 17:08, 9 April 2026 (UTC)
: @[[User:~2026-21862-27|~2026-21862-27]] I fixed the issue. The quote (picture and all), except the underlying subtitle, is slidable, but it is now better. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 22:15, 19 April 2026 (UTC)

== Enable the SandboxLink extension? ==

I would like to propose enabling the SandboxLink extension on this wiki, because it would be convenient for a user to be able to access their sandbox; according to &lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?search=sandbox&amp;title=Special%3ASearch&amp;profile=advanced&amp;fulltext=1&amp;ns2=1 this search]&lt;/span&gt;, many editors have their own userspace sandboxes. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 00:30, 20 April 2026 (UTC)

* {{support}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:48, 20 April 2026 (UTC)
* {{support}} [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 00:52, 20 April 2026 (UTC)
* {{Support}} This would be a great extension to have. Having to manually type out the sandbox link every time is quite inconvenient. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 02:55, 20 April 2026 (UTC)
* {{done|I filed [[phab:T424863]]}}. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 18:09, 29 April 2026 (UTC)

== [[Wikiquote:Requests for permissions]] ==

I created this page for non-administrators to request access to various permissions, such as autopatroller, patroller, rollbacker, etc.; the rollbacker and temporary account IP viewer sections were previously located at [[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship]], before I overhauled that page solely for users to request administrator access and other advanced permissions. Thank you. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 05:04, 20 April 2026 (UTC)

== Wiki Loves Bangla 2026 has started, Join Now! ==

&lt;div style=&quot;padding:15px; font-size:120%; line-height:1.6; margin:10px 0; border:2px solid #c90023; background-color:#FFFFFF;{{text default color}}; border-radius:8px;&quot;&gt;
[[File:Wiki Loves Bangla wordmark logo-en.svg|right|100px|frameless|link=Commons:Wiki Loves Bangla 2025]]
Hello,

We are excited to announce that [[c:Commons:Wiki Loves Bangla 2026/en|Wiki Loves Bangla 2026]] has started! This year’s theme focuses on '''Bengal festivals''', inviting participants to capture and share images and videos of the diverse cultural celebrations across Bengal. 

'''[[c:Commons:Wiki Loves Bangla|Wiki Loves Bangla]]''' is an international photography contest on Wikimedia Commons aimed at documenting Bengali culture and heritage worldwide. It is organised annually as part of the [[meta:Bangla Culture and Heritage Collation Program|Bangla Culture and Heritage Collation Program]], with a dedicated theme each year.

'''How You Can Participate''', it's easy and simple, and every upload contributes to the world's largest free knowledge repository: 
[[File:পাতি মাছরাঙ্গা (Alcedo atthis), জাতীয় উদ্ভিদ উদ্যান ঢাকা.jpg|thumb|right|200px|link=Commons:Wiki Loves Bangla 2025|Winning image from Wiki Loves Bangla 2025. ''Attribution: [[User:Ashraf747|Ashraf747]] / [[CreativeCommons:by-sa/4.0|CC BY-SA 4.0]]'']]
* '''Capture''': Take photos or videos of Bengal festivals.
* '''Upload''': Share your files to Wikimedia Commons between '''14 April and 15 May 2026'''.
* '''Win''': A total of '''USD 1,100''' in prizes.

Ready to get started? [https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:UploadWizard&amp;uselang=bn&amp;campaign=Wlbangla Click here to upload your media], or visit the [[Commons:Wiki Loves Bangla 2026/en|main project page]] for full details.

Your contributions help document and preserve Bengal’s rich cultural heritage for the world.

For any questions, email us or join our [https://t.me/WikiLovesBangla Telegram group].

Warm regards,&lt;br&gt;
'''Wiki Loves Bangla Team'''.

&lt;nowiki&gt;#WikiLovesBangla&lt;/nowiki&gt;
&lt;/div&gt; [[User:Moheen|Moheen]] ([[User talk:Moheen|talk]]) 20:34, 21 April 2026 (UTC)

== Request for comment (global AI policy) ==

&lt;bdi lang=&quot;en&quot; dir=&quot;ltr&quot; class=&quot;mw-content-ltr&quot;&gt;

A [[:m:Requests for comment/Artificial intelligence policy|request for comment]] is currently being held to decide on a global AI policy. {{int:Feedback-thanks-title}}
[[User:MediaWiki message delivery|MediaWiki message delivery]] ([[User talk:MediaWiki message delivery|talk]]) 00:58, 26 April 2026 (UTC)
&lt;/bdi&gt;
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:Codename Noreste@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Distribution_list/Global_message_delivery&amp;oldid=30424282 --&gt;

== Change the inactivity process? ==

I would like to propose changing the inactivity process to a process similar to AAR, in order (from top to bottom):
* A user notifies the village pump (which often has more visibility than the RFA page, especially the right removal section), listing administrators that have been inactive for one year (with no edits and logged actions).
* The inactive administrator is notified on their talk page.
* The discussion lasts for one week to allow the inactive administrator to respond, whether to retain their rights or otherwise.
* After one week has passed, the discussion is closed (or action taken if no one comments) and a request is filed at SRP to remove the inactive user's admin/bureaucrat/interface administrator rights.
If this passes, we should include the process to [[Wikiquote:Administrators]]&lt;!-- which I've marked as a proposal to become a policy. --&gt;. On the other hand, the flag removal section on WQ:RFA should probably be used for removal discussions (non-inactivity). Thoughts? [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 18:08, 27 April 2026 (UTC)

:Seems fine to me, but can you tell me what prompted this? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:43, 27 April 2026 (UTC)
:: This was inspired from a Wikiversity inactivity process for curators, so that's why I decided to propose a process similar to AAR, but instead it’s done locally (instead of a steward), with the main difference being 1 year of inactivity and 1 week to allow the inactive admin to respond, rather than the standard 1 month response timeframe / 2 year inactivity timeframe from AAR. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 19:59, 27 April 2026 (UTC)
: Considering the lack of objection, I boldly updated the inactivity process at [[Wikiquote:Administrators]]. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 19:45, 15 May 2026 (UTC)

== Using the proposal template ==

I am planning to switch the draft templates (listed on [[Wikiquote:WikiProject Policy Revision]]) to use {{tlx|proposal}}, which combines {{tlx|policydraft}} and {{tlx|guidelinedraft}} into one together. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 14:43, 28 April 2026 (UTC)

== Public domain filter ==

Hi, 
Is there anyway to filter quotes/works by a public domain category? I need to ensure quotes I'm using are only those in the public domain. [[Special:Contributions/&amp;#126;2026-28650-43|&amp;#126;2026-28650-43]] ([[User talk:&amp;#126;2026-28650-43|talk]]) 12:49, 12 May 2026 (UTC)

:There is no easy way to do that at present. There is a very dormant proposal for a [[:m:Structured Wikiquote|version of Wikiquote that has strucutred data]], but there has not been any progress on it. ―[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''&lt;span style=&quot;color:black&quot;&gt;v&lt;/span&gt;f&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 15:15, 12 May 2026 (UTC)

== Discussion at [[Wikiquote talk:Administrators]] ==

I started a discussion whether to approve [[Wikiquote:Administrators]] as an official, local policy. Editors are encouraged to participate. Thank you. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 19:21, 13 May 2026 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>3gdbyuiuvvqq792pcgpp23lfrlmiy8q</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944027</id>
      <parentid>3943975</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T19:44:44Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Pine</username>
        <id>455310</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>May 2026 meetup</comment>
      <origin>3944027</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="12771" sha1="6s9nmrsin2ot6dq5p3b1fk85r81vifc" xml:space="preserve">__NEWSECTIONLINK__
{{Wikiquote:Village pump/Header}} {{User:MABot/config
|archive = Wikiquote:Village pump archive %(counter)d
|algo = old(35d)
|counter = 64
|maxarchivesize = 300K
|minthreadsleft = 4
|archiveheader = {{Village pump archives}}
|minthreadstoarchive = 1
|key = 3009d0c464caec663eab7ed3f8987744
}}

== Why are quotes no longer underneath photos? ==

When I look at wikiquote on my phone all I see is a picture until I swipe left or resize the he frame the I see the quote smashed to the right of the photo?  Why did this change? [[Special:Contributions/&amp;#126;2026-21862-27|&amp;#126;2026-21862-27]] ([[User talk:&amp;#126;2026-21862-27|talk]]) 16:42, 9 April 2026 (UTC)
: On [[User:Codename_Noreste/sandbox|my sandbox]], I am attempting to figure out a redesign. Anyway, about the change, context can be found at [[#QOTD sizing issue on main page]] for implementing the new change. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 17:08, 9 April 2026 (UTC)
: @[[User:~2026-21862-27|~2026-21862-27]] I fixed the issue. The quote (picture and all), except the underlying subtitle, is slidable, but it is now better. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 22:15, 19 April 2026 (UTC)

== Enable the SandboxLink extension? ==

I would like to propose enabling the SandboxLink extension on this wiki, because it would be convenient for a user to be able to access their sandbox; according to &lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?search=sandbox&amp;title=Special%3ASearch&amp;profile=advanced&amp;fulltext=1&amp;ns2=1 this search]&lt;/span&gt;, many editors have their own userspace sandboxes. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 00:30, 20 April 2026 (UTC)

* {{support}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:48, 20 April 2026 (UTC)
* {{support}} [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 00:52, 20 April 2026 (UTC)
* {{Support}} This would be a great extension to have. Having to manually type out the sandbox link every time is quite inconvenient. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 02:55, 20 April 2026 (UTC)
* {{done|I filed [[phab:T424863]]}}. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 18:09, 29 April 2026 (UTC)

== [[Wikiquote:Requests for permissions]] ==

I created this page for non-administrators to request access to various permissions, such as autopatroller, patroller, rollbacker, etc.; the rollbacker and temporary account IP viewer sections were previously located at [[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship]], before I overhauled that page solely for users to request administrator access and other advanced permissions. Thank you. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 05:04, 20 April 2026 (UTC)

== Wiki Loves Bangla 2026 has started, Join Now! ==

&lt;div style=&quot;padding:15px; font-size:120%; line-height:1.6; margin:10px 0; border:2px solid #c90023; background-color:#FFFFFF;{{text default color}}; border-radius:8px;&quot;&gt;
[[File:Wiki Loves Bangla wordmark logo-en.svg|right|100px|frameless|link=Commons:Wiki Loves Bangla 2025]]
Hello,

We are excited to announce that [[c:Commons:Wiki Loves Bangla 2026/en|Wiki Loves Bangla 2026]] has started! This year’s theme focuses on '''Bengal festivals''', inviting participants to capture and share images and videos of the diverse cultural celebrations across Bengal. 

'''[[c:Commons:Wiki Loves Bangla|Wiki Loves Bangla]]''' is an international photography contest on Wikimedia Commons aimed at documenting Bengali culture and heritage worldwide. It is organised annually as part of the [[meta:Bangla Culture and Heritage Collation Program|Bangla Culture and Heritage Collation Program]], with a dedicated theme each year.

'''How You Can Participate''', it's easy and simple, and every upload contributes to the world's largest free knowledge repository: 
[[File:পাতি মাছরাঙ্গা (Alcedo atthis), জাতীয় উদ্ভিদ উদ্যান ঢাকা.jpg|thumb|right|200px|link=Commons:Wiki Loves Bangla 2025|Winning image from Wiki Loves Bangla 2025. ''Attribution: [[User:Ashraf747|Ashraf747]] / [[CreativeCommons:by-sa/4.0|CC BY-SA 4.0]]'']]
* '''Capture''': Take photos or videos of Bengal festivals.
* '''Upload''': Share your files to Wikimedia Commons between '''14 April and 15 May 2026'''.
* '''Win''': A total of '''USD 1,100''' in prizes.

Ready to get started? [https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:UploadWizard&amp;uselang=bn&amp;campaign=Wlbangla Click here to upload your media], or visit the [[Commons:Wiki Loves Bangla 2026/en|main project page]] for full details.

Your contributions help document and preserve Bengal’s rich cultural heritage for the world.

For any questions, email us or join our [https://t.me/WikiLovesBangla Telegram group].

Warm regards,&lt;br&gt;
'''Wiki Loves Bangla Team'''.

&lt;nowiki&gt;#WikiLovesBangla&lt;/nowiki&gt;
&lt;/div&gt; [[User:Moheen|Moheen]] ([[User talk:Moheen|talk]]) 20:34, 21 April 2026 (UTC)

== Request for comment (global AI policy) ==

&lt;bdi lang=&quot;en&quot; dir=&quot;ltr&quot; class=&quot;mw-content-ltr&quot;&gt;

A [[:m:Requests for comment/Artificial intelligence policy|request for comment]] is currently being held to decide on a global AI policy. {{int:Feedback-thanks-title}}
[[User:MediaWiki message delivery|MediaWiki message delivery]] ([[User talk:MediaWiki message delivery|talk]]) 00:58, 26 April 2026 (UTC)
&lt;/bdi&gt;
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:Codename Noreste@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Distribution_list/Global_message_delivery&amp;oldid=30424282 --&gt;

== Change the inactivity process? ==

I would like to propose changing the inactivity process to a process similar to AAR, in order (from top to bottom):
* A user notifies the village pump (which often has more visibility than the RFA page, especially the right removal section), listing administrators that have been inactive for one year (with no edits and logged actions).
* The inactive administrator is notified on their talk page.
* The discussion lasts for one week to allow the inactive administrator to respond, whether to retain their rights or otherwise.
* After one week has passed, the discussion is closed (or action taken if no one comments) and a request is filed at SRP to remove the inactive user's admin/bureaucrat/interface administrator rights.
If this passes, we should include the process to [[Wikiquote:Administrators]]&lt;!-- which I've marked as a proposal to become a policy. --&gt;. On the other hand, the flag removal section on WQ:RFA should probably be used for removal discussions (non-inactivity). Thoughts? [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 18:08, 27 April 2026 (UTC)

:Seems fine to me, but can you tell me what prompted this? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:43, 27 April 2026 (UTC)
:: This was inspired from a Wikiversity inactivity process for curators, so that's why I decided to propose a process similar to AAR, but instead it’s done locally (instead of a steward), with the main difference being 1 year of inactivity and 1 week to allow the inactive admin to respond, rather than the standard 1 month response timeframe / 2 year inactivity timeframe from AAR. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 19:59, 27 April 2026 (UTC)
: Considering the lack of objection, I boldly updated the inactivity process at [[Wikiquote:Administrators]]. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 19:45, 15 May 2026 (UTC)

== Using the proposal template ==

I am planning to switch the draft templates (listed on [[Wikiquote:WikiProject Policy Revision]]) to use {{tlx|proposal}}, which combines {{tlx|policydraft}} and {{tlx|guidelinedraft}} into one together. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 14:43, 28 April 2026 (UTC)

== Public domain filter ==

Hi, 
Is there anyway to filter quotes/works by a public domain category? I need to ensure quotes I'm using are only those in the public domain. [[Special:Contributions/&amp;#126;2026-28650-43|&amp;#126;2026-28650-43]] ([[User talk:&amp;#126;2026-28650-43|talk]]) 12:49, 12 May 2026 (UTC)

:There is no easy way to do that at present. There is a very dormant proposal for a [[:m:Structured Wikiquote|version of Wikiquote that has strucutred data]], but there has not been any progress on it. ―[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''&lt;span style=&quot;color:black&quot;&gt;v&lt;/span&gt;f&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 15:15, 12 May 2026 (UTC)

== Discussion at [[Wikiquote talk:Administrators]] ==

I started a discussion whether to approve [[Wikiquote:Administrators]] as an official, local policy. Editors are encouraged to participate. Thank you. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 19:21, 13 May 2026 (UTC)

== May 2026 Wikimedia Café meetups regarding the the Wikimedia Foundation Annual Plan ==
&lt;div class=&quot;border-box&quot; style=&quot;background-color: var(--background-color-warning-subtle, #f8eaba); max-width: 875px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid black; margin: 5px; color: var(--clr-dark)&quot;&gt;
&lt;div class=&quot;box&quot; style=&quot;float:left; padding-top: 15px; padding-right: 15px;&quot;&gt;[[File:Wikimedia Café logo in plain SVG format.svg|75px|alt=The logo for the Wikimedia Café]]&lt;/div&gt;
Hello! There will be two '''[https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Wikimedia_Caf%C3%A9 Wikimedia Café]''' discussion opportunities during the last weekend of May. Both sessions will focus on the [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Wikimedia_Foundation_Annual_Plan/2026-2027 the 2026-2027 Wikimedia Foundation Annual Plan]. Participants may attend either or both sessions.

#'''Saturday, 30 May 2026 at 15:00 UTC''' ([https://zonestamp.toolforge.org/1780153200 timestamp converter]), at a time friendly to the Americas, Africa, and Europe
#'''Sunday, 31 May 2026 at 05:00 UTC''' ([https://zonestamp.toolforge.org/1780203600 timestamp converter]), at a time friendly to Asia and the Pacific

Café participants are highly encouraged to read in advance [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Sohom_Datta/annual_plan_guide at least this summary of the plan]. Optionally,  Café participants are encouraged to read portions of the plan that interest them and [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Talk:Wikimedia_Foundation_Annual_Plan/2026-2027 ask questions or provide feedback on the Annual Plan talk page]. 

Please see the Café page for more information, including [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Wikimedia_Caf%C3%A9#May_2026_meetings_with_a_focus_on_Wikimedia_Foundation_Annual_Plan/2026-2027 tables of timestamp conversions for both sessions], [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Wikimedia_Caf%C3%A9#Agenda._This_will_be_an_approximately_1_hour_Caf%C3%A9_session,_and_is_extendible_for_an_additional_30_minutes_if_needed. the agenda], and [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Wikimedia_Caf%C3%A9#How_to_attend_the_session how to register]!
&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Buntstifte Eberhard Faber crop 64h.jpg|860px|alt=cropped image of colored pencils]]&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;white-space:nowrap;&quot;&gt;[[User:Pine|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#01796f;text-shadow:#00BFFF 0 0 1.0em&quot;&gt;↠Pine&lt;/span&gt;]] [[User talk:Pine|&lt;font color=&quot;DeepSkyBlue&quot;&gt;(&lt;span style=&quot;color:#FFDF00 ;text-shadow:#FFDF00 0 0 1.0em&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;✉&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;)&lt;/font&gt;]]&lt;/span&gt; 19:44, 21 May 2026 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>6s9nmrsin2ot6dq5p3b1fk85r81vifc</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944106</id>
      <parentid>3944027</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T01:36:09Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Pine</username>
        <id>455310</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* May 2026 Wikimedia Café meetups regarding the the Wikimedia Foundation Annual Plan */ ce</comment>
      <origin>3944106</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="12767" sha1="0fxzkocqt8qta92tsa0opvikmfw7z4z" xml:space="preserve">__NEWSECTIONLINK__
{{Wikiquote:Village pump/Header}} {{User:MABot/config
|archive = Wikiquote:Village pump archive %(counter)d
|algo = old(35d)
|counter = 64
|maxarchivesize = 300K
|minthreadsleft = 4
|archiveheader = {{Village pump archives}}
|minthreadstoarchive = 1
|key = 3009d0c464caec663eab7ed3f8987744
}}

== Why are quotes no longer underneath photos? ==

When I look at wikiquote on my phone all I see is a picture until I swipe left or resize the he frame the I see the quote smashed to the right of the photo?  Why did this change? [[Special:Contributions/&amp;#126;2026-21862-27|&amp;#126;2026-21862-27]] ([[User talk:&amp;#126;2026-21862-27|talk]]) 16:42, 9 April 2026 (UTC)
: On [[User:Codename_Noreste/sandbox|my sandbox]], I am attempting to figure out a redesign. Anyway, about the change, context can be found at [[#QOTD sizing issue on main page]] for implementing the new change. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 17:08, 9 April 2026 (UTC)
: @[[User:~2026-21862-27|~2026-21862-27]] I fixed the issue. The quote (picture and all), except the underlying subtitle, is slidable, but it is now better. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 22:15, 19 April 2026 (UTC)

== Enable the SandboxLink extension? ==

I would like to propose enabling the SandboxLink extension on this wiki, because it would be convenient for a user to be able to access their sandbox; according to &lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?search=sandbox&amp;title=Special%3ASearch&amp;profile=advanced&amp;fulltext=1&amp;ns2=1 this search]&lt;/span&gt;, many editors have their own userspace sandboxes. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 00:30, 20 April 2026 (UTC)

* {{support}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:48, 20 April 2026 (UTC)
* {{support}} [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 00:52, 20 April 2026 (UTC)
* {{Support}} This would be a great extension to have. Having to manually type out the sandbox link every time is quite inconvenient. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 02:55, 20 April 2026 (UTC)
* {{done|I filed [[phab:T424863]]}}. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 18:09, 29 April 2026 (UTC)

== [[Wikiquote:Requests for permissions]] ==

I created this page for non-administrators to request access to various permissions, such as autopatroller, patroller, rollbacker, etc.; the rollbacker and temporary account IP viewer sections were previously located at [[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship]], before I overhauled that page solely for users to request administrator access and other advanced permissions. Thank you. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 05:04, 20 April 2026 (UTC)

== Wiki Loves Bangla 2026 has started, Join Now! ==

&lt;div style=&quot;padding:15px; font-size:120%; line-height:1.6; margin:10px 0; border:2px solid #c90023; background-color:#FFFFFF;{{text default color}}; border-radius:8px;&quot;&gt;
[[File:Wiki Loves Bangla wordmark logo-en.svg|right|100px|frameless|link=Commons:Wiki Loves Bangla 2025]]
Hello,

We are excited to announce that [[c:Commons:Wiki Loves Bangla 2026/en|Wiki Loves Bangla 2026]] has started! This year’s theme focuses on '''Bengal festivals''', inviting participants to capture and share images and videos of the diverse cultural celebrations across Bengal. 

'''[[c:Commons:Wiki Loves Bangla|Wiki Loves Bangla]]''' is an international photography contest on Wikimedia Commons aimed at documenting Bengali culture and heritage worldwide. It is organised annually as part of the [[meta:Bangla Culture and Heritage Collation Program|Bangla Culture and Heritage Collation Program]], with a dedicated theme each year.

'''How You Can Participate''', it's easy and simple, and every upload contributes to the world's largest free knowledge repository: 
[[File:পাতি মাছরাঙ্গা (Alcedo atthis), জাতীয় উদ্ভিদ উদ্যান ঢাকা.jpg|thumb|right|200px|link=Commons:Wiki Loves Bangla 2025|Winning image from Wiki Loves Bangla 2025. ''Attribution: [[User:Ashraf747|Ashraf747]] / [[CreativeCommons:by-sa/4.0|CC BY-SA 4.0]]'']]
* '''Capture''': Take photos or videos of Bengal festivals.
* '''Upload''': Share your files to Wikimedia Commons between '''14 April and 15 May 2026'''.
* '''Win''': A total of '''USD 1,100''' in prizes.

Ready to get started? [https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:UploadWizard&amp;uselang=bn&amp;campaign=Wlbangla Click here to upload your media], or visit the [[Commons:Wiki Loves Bangla 2026/en|main project page]] for full details.

Your contributions help document and preserve Bengal’s rich cultural heritage for the world.

For any questions, email us or join our [https://t.me/WikiLovesBangla Telegram group].

Warm regards,&lt;br&gt;
'''Wiki Loves Bangla Team'''.

&lt;nowiki&gt;#WikiLovesBangla&lt;/nowiki&gt;
&lt;/div&gt; [[User:Moheen|Moheen]] ([[User talk:Moheen|talk]]) 20:34, 21 April 2026 (UTC)

== Request for comment (global AI policy) ==

&lt;bdi lang=&quot;en&quot; dir=&quot;ltr&quot; class=&quot;mw-content-ltr&quot;&gt;

A [[:m:Requests for comment/Artificial intelligence policy|request for comment]] is currently being held to decide on a global AI policy. {{int:Feedback-thanks-title}}
[[User:MediaWiki message delivery|MediaWiki message delivery]] ([[User talk:MediaWiki message delivery|talk]]) 00:58, 26 April 2026 (UTC)
&lt;/bdi&gt;
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:Codename Noreste@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Distribution_list/Global_message_delivery&amp;oldid=30424282 --&gt;

== Change the inactivity process? ==

I would like to propose changing the inactivity process to a process similar to AAR, in order (from top to bottom):
* A user notifies the village pump (which often has more visibility than the RFA page, especially the right removal section), listing administrators that have been inactive for one year (with no edits and logged actions).
* The inactive administrator is notified on their talk page.
* The discussion lasts for one week to allow the inactive administrator to respond, whether to retain their rights or otherwise.
* After one week has passed, the discussion is closed (or action taken if no one comments) and a request is filed at SRP to remove the inactive user's admin/bureaucrat/interface administrator rights.
If this passes, we should include the process to [[Wikiquote:Administrators]]&lt;!-- which I've marked as a proposal to become a policy. --&gt;. On the other hand, the flag removal section on WQ:RFA should probably be used for removal discussions (non-inactivity). Thoughts? [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 18:08, 27 April 2026 (UTC)

:Seems fine to me, but can you tell me what prompted this? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:43, 27 April 2026 (UTC)
:: This was inspired from a Wikiversity inactivity process for curators, so that's why I decided to propose a process similar to AAR, but instead it’s done locally (instead of a steward), with the main difference being 1 year of inactivity and 1 week to allow the inactive admin to respond, rather than the standard 1 month response timeframe / 2 year inactivity timeframe from AAR. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 19:59, 27 April 2026 (UTC)
: Considering the lack of objection, I boldly updated the inactivity process at [[Wikiquote:Administrators]]. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 19:45, 15 May 2026 (UTC)

== Using the proposal template ==

I am planning to switch the draft templates (listed on [[Wikiquote:WikiProject Policy Revision]]) to use {{tlx|proposal}}, which combines {{tlx|policydraft}} and {{tlx|guidelinedraft}} into one together. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 14:43, 28 April 2026 (UTC)

== Public domain filter ==

Hi, 
Is there anyway to filter quotes/works by a public domain category? I need to ensure quotes I'm using are only those in the public domain. [[Special:Contributions/&amp;#126;2026-28650-43|&amp;#126;2026-28650-43]] ([[User talk:&amp;#126;2026-28650-43|talk]]) 12:49, 12 May 2026 (UTC)

:There is no easy way to do that at present. There is a very dormant proposal for a [[:m:Structured Wikiquote|version of Wikiquote that has strucutred data]], but there has not been any progress on it. ―[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''&lt;span style=&quot;color:black&quot;&gt;v&lt;/span&gt;f&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 15:15, 12 May 2026 (UTC)

== Discussion at [[Wikiquote talk:Administrators]] ==

I started a discussion whether to approve [[Wikiquote:Administrators]] as an official, local policy. Editors are encouraged to participate. Thank you. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 19:21, 13 May 2026 (UTC)

== May 2026 Wikimedia Café meetups regarding the Wikimedia Foundation Annual Plan ==
&lt;div class=&quot;border-box&quot; style=&quot;background-color: var(--background-color-warning-subtle, #f8eaba); max-width: 875px; padding: 5px; border: 1px solid black; margin: 5px; color: var(--clr-dark)&quot;&gt;
&lt;div class=&quot;box&quot; style=&quot;float:left; padding-top: 15px; padding-right: 15px;&quot;&gt;[[File:Wikimedia Café logo in plain SVG format.svg|75px|alt=The logo for the Wikimedia Café]]&lt;/div&gt;
Hello! There will be two '''[https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Wikimedia_Caf%C3%A9 Wikimedia Café]''' discussion opportunities during the last weekend of May. Both sessions will focus on the [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Wikimedia_Foundation_Annual_Plan/2026-2027 the 2026-2027 Wikimedia Foundation Annual Plan]. Participants may attend either or both sessions.

#'''Saturday, 30 May 2026 at 15:00 UTC''' ([https://zonestamp.toolforge.org/1780153200 timestamp converter]), at a time friendly to the Americas, Africa, and Europe
#'''Sunday, 31 May 2026 at 05:00 UTC''' ([https://zonestamp.toolforge.org/1780203600 timestamp converter]), at a time friendly to Asia and the Pacific

Café participants are highly encouraged to read in advance [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Sohom_Datta/annual_plan_guide at least this summary of the plan]. Optionally,  Café participants are encouraged to read portions of the plan that interest them and [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Talk:Wikimedia_Foundation_Annual_Plan/2026-2027 ask questions or provide feedback on the Annual Plan talk page]. 

Please see the Café page for more information, including [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Wikimedia_Caf%C3%A9#May_2026_meetings_with_a_focus_on_Wikimedia_Foundation_Annual_Plan/2026-2027 tables of timestamp conversions for both sessions], [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Wikimedia_Caf%C3%A9#Agenda._This_will_be_an_approximately_1_hour_Caf%C3%A9_session,_and_is_extendible_for_an_additional_30_minutes_if_needed. the agenda], and [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Wikimedia_Caf%C3%A9#How_to_attend_the_session how to register]!
&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Buntstifte Eberhard Faber crop 64h.jpg|860px|alt=cropped image of colored pencils]]&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;white-space:nowrap;&quot;&gt;[[User:Pine|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#01796f;text-shadow:#00BFFF 0 0 1.0em&quot;&gt;↠Pine&lt;/span&gt;]] [[User talk:Pine|&lt;font color=&quot;DeepSkyBlue&quot;&gt;(&lt;span style=&quot;color:#FFDF00 ;text-shadow:#FFDF00 0 0 1.0em&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;✉&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;)&lt;/font&gt;]]&lt;/span&gt; 19:44, 21 May 2026 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>0fxzkocqt8qta92tsa0opvikmfw7z4z</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Last words</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>220</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944109</id>
      <parentid>3940617</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T02:36:21Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>JMyrleFuller</username>
        <id>1813258</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* B */ kyle busch</comment>
      <origin>3944109</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="343673" sha1="ksmopzehbgu809ve3mjatq2docikjsd" xml:space="preserve">{{refimprove}} 
'''[[w:Last words|Last words]]''' or final words are a person's final articulated words, stated prior to death or as death approaches. Often they are recorded because of the decedent's fame, but sometimes because of interest in the statement itself.
__NOTOC__
[[#A|A]] [[#B|B]] [[#C|C]] [[#D|D]] [[#E|E]] [[#F|F]] [[#G|G]] [[#H|H]] [[#I|I]] [[#J|J]] [[#K|K]] [[#L|L]] [[#M|M]] [[#N|N]] [[#O|O]] [[#P|P]] [[#Q|Q]] [[#R|R]] [[#S|S]] [[#T|T]] [[#U|U]] [[#V|V]] [[#W|W]] [[#X|X]] [[#Y|Y]] [[#Z|Z]] [[#?|?]] [[#See also|See also]] [[#External links|External links]]

Sorted alphabetically by last name (with some monarchs and leaders sorted by their first names, e.g. [[#W|William the Silent]]). This article refers only to last words of persons who actually lived or are believed to have actually lived. Last words of fictional characters can be found in [[Fictional last words]].

=A=
*I did what I could.
**Who: [[Edward Abbey]], an American author and essayist.
***Note: The first quote was a response as to whether he had any last words. (The epitaph on his memorial stone was &quot;No Comment&quot;.) The second is an alternative as noted in the reference work ''Last Words of Notable People'' citing ''Epitaph for a Desert Anarchist: The Life and Legacy of Edward Abbey'' by James Bishop. {{cite book |title= Last Words of Notable People: Final Words of More than 3500 Noteworthy People Throughout History|last= Brahms|first= William B. |year= 2010|publisher= [[Reference Desk Press, Inc]]|location= Haddonfield, NJ|isbn= 978-09765325-2-1|page= 1}}; {{cite book |title= Epitaph for a Desert Anarchist: The Life and Legacy of Edward Abbey |last= Bishop|first= James. |year= 2010|publisher= [[Atheneuem]]|location= New York|isbn= 978-06891219-5-1}}. 

*Van Halen!
**Who: [[w:Darrell Abbott|Darrell Abbott]] A.K.A Dimebag Darrell, former guitarist of Pantera and Damageplan.
***Note: Said while playing with Damageplan at a club minutes before he was shot and killed onstage.

*Come Lord Jesus, come quickly, finish in me the work that Thou hast begun; into Thy hands, O Lord, I commend my spirit, for Thou hast redeemed me. O God of truth, save me Thy servant, who hopes and confides in Thee alone; let Thy mercy, O Lord, be shewn unto me; in Thee have I trusted, O Lord, let me not be confounded for ever.
**Who: [[w:Robert Abbot (bishop)|Robert Abbot]], English prelate.
***Note: ''Last Words of Notable People'' citing ''The life of Dr. George Abbot, Lord Archbishop of Canterbury'' by Arthur Onslow (Guildford, England, 1777). {{cite book |title= Last Words of Notable People: Final Words of More than 3500 Noteworthy People Throughout History|last= Brahms|first= William B. |year= 2010|publisher= [[Reference Desk Press, Inc]]|location= Haddonfield, NJ|isbn= 978-09765325-2-1|page= 1}}. 

* يام السرور التي صفت لي دون تكدير في مدة سلطاني، يوم كذا من شهر كذا من سنة كذا فعدت تلك الأيام فوجدت أربعة عشر يومًا (''Yam al-surur alati sifat li dun takdir fi mudat sultani, yawm kadha min shahr kadha min sunat kadha fa'idat tilk al-ayām fawajadat 'arba'at 'ashar yawman.'')
** Translation: In this situation, I have diligently numbered the days of pure and genuine happiness which have fallen to my lot... they amount to fourteen!
** Who: [[w:Abd al-Rahman III|Abd al-Rahman III]], founder of the [[w:Caliphate of Córdoba|Caliphate of Córdoba]].

* من در حال رفتن هستم و شما مي خواهيد غذا بخورم؟ (''Man dar hâl raftan hastam, va shomâ mey khâhid ghazâ békhoram?'')
** Translation: I am about to go, and you want me to eat food?
** Who: [[w:`Abdu'l-Bahá|`Abdu'l-Bahá]], son of [[w:Bahá'u'lláh|Bahá'u'lláh]] and one of three central figures of the Bahá'i Faith.
*** Note: Spoken when food was offered to him on his deathbed.

* I don't know. [''Attributed'']
** Who: [[Peter Abelard]], a medieval French scholastic philosopher, theologian and preeminent logician.

* שלף חרבך ומותתני פן-יאמרו לי, אשה הרגתהו (''Shelof charbecha umoteteni pen-yomeru li, ishah haragatehu'')
** Translation: Draw thy sword, and kill me, that [[men]] say not of me: 'A [[woman]] slew him.'
** Who: [[w:Abimelech (Judges)|Abimelech]]
*** Note: Abimelech was besieging the town of Thebaz when a woman threw a millstone from a fortified tower and struck him in the head. Realizing the wound was mortal, he quickly told his armor-bearer to kill him so that his death would not be at the hands of a woman.

*May the Most High God preserve thee from destruction, and from all the paths of error may He deliver thee.
** Who: [[Abraham]], first of the three patriarchs of Judaism, according to the [[w:Pseudepigrapha|pseudepigraphic]] [[w:Book of Jubilees|Book of Jubilees]].
*** See also: [[w:Abraham|Abraham]]

* It's okay! Gun's not loaded... see?
** Who: [[w:Johnny Ace|Johnny Ace]], 1950s rhythm and blues singer.
*** Note: Ace was playing [[w:Russian roulette|Russian roulette]] (or something similar; exact accounts vary) with his revolver on Christmas Day 1954, during a backstage break in his concert that day. Someone told him &quot;Be careful with that thing...&quot; and he replied &quot;It's okay! Gun's not loaded... see?&quot; Contrary to Ace's assertion, there was a bullet in the chamber, which, when he pulled the trigger with the barrel of the gun to his face, killed him instantly.

*''Ja, maar niet te veel.''
** Translation: Yes, but not too many.
** Who: [[w:Gerrit Achterberg|Gerrit Achterberg]], Dutch poet.
*** Note: Achterberg had just parked his car, when his wife asked: &quot;Zal ik wat aardappelen bakken?&quot; (&quot;Shall I bake some fried potatoes?&quot;) After answering the question he suffered a fatal heart attack.
**** Note: ''Last Words of Notable People'' citing ''Het refrein is hein: Leven en sterven in een verpleeghuis'' by B. Keizer {{cite book |title= Last Words of Notable People: Final Words of More than 3500 Noteworthy People Throughout History|last= Brahms|first= William B. |year= 2010|publisher= [[Reference Desk Press, Inc]]|location= Haddonfield, NJ|isbn= 978-09765325-2-1|page= 3}}; {{cite book |title= Het refrein is hein: Leven en sterven in een verpleeghuis |last= Keizer
|first= Bert |year= 1997|publisher= [[Nijmegen]]|location= Amsterdam|isbn= 978-90616862-1-7}}.

* I'm about to board a boat full of white snow.
** Who: [[w:Oscar Zeta Acosta|Oscar Zeta Acosta]]
*** Note: Spoken to his son shortly before his disappearance in Mexico. His son surmises that Zeta angered the drug cartels with whom he was dealing, who in turn killed him and hid or disposed of the body.

*Oh, yes; it is the glorious Fourth of July. It is a great day. It is a good day. God bless it. God bless you all. [''He then lapsed into unconsciousness; he awakened later, and mumbled,''] Thomas Jefferson...
** Who: [[John Adams]], 2nd President of the United States.
** Note: John Adams died on July 4, 1826, exactly fifty years after the signing of the Declaration of Independence. He is often quoted as having said &quot;[[Thomas Jefferson]] survives&quot; or &quot;Thomas Jefferson still survives&quot; with some depictions indicating he might have not expressed the entire statement before dying, i.e.: &quot;Thomas Jefferson... still survi—&quot;, but [http://historynewsnetwork.org/articles/article.html?id=634 some research] indicates that only the words &quot;Thomas Jefferson&quot; were clearly intelligible among his last. Adams was unaware that Jefferson, his great political rival—and later friend and correspondent—had died a few hours earlier that same day.

* This is the last of Earth. I am content.
** Who: [[John Quincy Adams]], 6th President of the United States.
*** Note: John Quincy Adams suffered a cerebral hemorrhage on the floor of the U.S Capitol Building, as he had become a U.S. Representative from the 11th District of Massachusetts after his presidency. He died two days later.
** As quoted in ''The Truly Great: A Discourse Appropriate to the Life and Character of John Quincy Adams'' (1848) by Edwin Hubbell Chapin and &quot;Illness and Death of John Quincy Adams&quot; (''Little's Living Age'', No. 201, March 18, 1848), citing an account published in ''The New York Courier and Enquirer'', February 25, 1848 and other sources. {{cite book |title= Last Words of Notable People: Final Words of More than 3500 Noteworthy People Throughout History|last= Brahms|first= William B. |year= 2010|publisher= [[Reference Desk Press, Inc]]|location= Haddonfield, NJ|isbn= 978-09765325-2-1|page= 6}}.

*Principally, and first of all, I recommend my soul to the Almighty Being who gave it, and my body I commit to the dust, relying on the merits of Jesus Christ for the pardon of my sins.
** Who: [[Samuel Adams]], politician and Founding Father of the United States, in his last will.

*If I got any benefits from my work, I'm asking that you pay it forward as best as you can, that the legacy I want-that's the legacy I want-be useful.  And please know I loved you all to the very end.
** Who: [[Scott Adams]], author and cartoonist, creator of ''[[Dilbert]]''
*** Note: Pre-prepared statement, read by his ex-wife and caregiver Shelly Miles on the January 13 episode of his ''Coffee with Scott Adams'' daily video series.

*See in what peace a Christian can die.
** Who: [[Joseph Addison]], writer, d. June 17, 1719.
*** Note: Spoken to his stepson, the Earl of Warwick.
** As quoted in ''Conjectures on Original Composition: In a Letter to the Author of Sir Charles Grandison'' (1759) by Edward Young and Samuel Richardson.
** Variation: I have sent for you to see how a Christian can die.
** As quoted in ''A New Biographical Dictionary: Containing a Brief Account of the Lives and Writings of the Most Eminent Persons and Remarkable Characters in Every Age and Nation'' (1805) by Stephen Jones.
** Variations of Addison's last words compared and discussed. {{cite book |title= Last Words of Notable People: Final Words of More than 3500 Noteworthy People Throughout History|last= Brahms|first= William B. |year= 2010|publisher= [[Reference Desk Press, Inc]]|location= Haddonfield, NJ|isbn= 978-09765325-2-1|page= 7}}.

* ''Do jitt et nix zo kriesche.''
** Translation: There's nothing to cry about.
** Who: [[Konrad Adenauer]], 1st Chancellor of West Germany
*** Note: When Adenauer briefly awoke on his deathbed, he said the following sentence to his children, spoken in [[w:Colognian dialect|Kölsch]]. He slipped back into unconsciousness soon after and died six days later. &lt;ref&gt;[https://www.nwzonline.de/hintergrund/vom-haeftling-zum-groessten-deutschen_a_31,2,3634043659.html#/ Vom Häftling zum „größten Deutschen“]. ''NWZonline''. Retrieved October 8, 2024.&lt;/ref&gt; 

* הפך ידך והוציאני מן-המחנה—כי החלית (''Hafoch yadecha vehotzi'eni min-hammachaneh—ki hocholeiti'')
** Translation: Turn your hand, and carry me out of the battle — I am wounded
** Who: [[w:Ahab|Ahab]], seventh king of Israel

* The bastards tried to come over me last night. I guess they didn't know I was a Marine.
** Who: Private First Class [[w:Edward H. Ahrens|Edward H. Ahrens]]
*** Note: During the [[w:Battle of Tulagi and Gavutu–Tanambogo|Battle of Tulagi]], Private Ahrens was mortally wounded while single-handedly fighting back a group of Japanese soldiers attempting to infiltrate Allied lines. After his superior officer discovered Ahrens the next morning surrounded by dead Japanese troops, he whispered these words and died.

* שמע ישראל אדני אלהינו אדני ''אחד'' (''Shema Yisrael Adonai Eloheinu Adonai Echad'')
** Translation: Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God! The Lord is ''One!''
** Who: Rabbi [[Akiba ben Joseph]] (Akiva)
*** Note: These words (the Shema, from Deuteronomy 6:4) were stated as R. Akiva was being flayed by a Roman executioner for his continuing to teach the Torah, despite the Roman prohibition on doing so (Talmud Berachot 61b). It is said that Akiva lengthened his saying of the word &quot;אחד&quot; (''echad'', &quot;one&quot;) until he expired. Because of R. Akiva, it is customary for Jews to recite the Shema as their last words.

* Is it not meningitis?
** Who: [[Louisa May Alcott]], an American novelist and poet best known as the author of the novel ''Little Women''.
*** Note: Alcott had been in ill health for many years and took a turn for the worse after she visited her father. She did not have meningitis. She may have died of mercury poisoning, the after-effect of an earlier treatment for typhoid fever. {{cite book |title= Last Words of Notable People: Final Words of More than 3500 Noteworthy People Throughout History|last= Brahms|first= William B. |year= 2010|publisher= [[Reference Desk Press, Inc]]|location= Haddonfield, NJ|isbn= 978-09765325-2-1|page= 12}}.
** As quoted in ''Louisa May Alcott: Her Life, Letters and Journals'' (1805) by Ednah D. Cheney.

* You be good. See you tomorrow. I love you.
** Who: [[w:Alex (parrot)|Alex]], [[w:African Grey Parrot|African Grey Parrot]] used in comparative psychology research at Brandeis University.
*** Note: Spoken to his handler, Dr. Irene Pepperberg, when she put him in his cage for the night; he was found dead the next morning. This wasn't said due to Alex's knowledge of his impending death, but simply because that was what Alex said to Pepperberg every night before being locked in his cage.
** {{cite news
 | url = http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1661695,00.html
 | title = Milestones
 | work = [[w:Time (magazine)|Time]]
 | page = 24
 | date = [[24 September]] [[2007]]
 | accessdate = 2007-09-22
}}

* τῷ κρατίστῳ (''tô kratístō'') [''Attributed'']
** Translation: To the strongest!
** Who: [[Alexander the Great]], King of the Ancient Greek kingdom of Macedon and a member of the Argead dynasty.
*** Note: In response to his generals asking the heirless Alexander which one of them would get control of the empire. When asked on his deathbed who was to succeed him, his voice may have been indistinct. Alexander may have said &quot;Krateros&quot; (the name of one of his generals), but he was not around, and the others may have chosen to hear &quot;Kratistos— the strongest&quot;.

* Несите меня во дворец… там… умереть… (''Nesite menya vo dvorets… tam… umeret…'')
** Translation: Take me to the palace... there... to die...
** Who: [[w:Alexander II of Russia|Alexander II of Russia]]
*** Note: His guards heard him utter this phrase when they found his maimed body under a seat from his carriage after he was attacked with bombs by anarchists in an assassination attempt. He lost his left leg and was taken home where he died hours after his wound.

* ''Aspetta un minuto...''
** Translation: Wait a minute...
** Who: [[w:Pope Alexander VI|Pope Alexander VI]]
*** Note: His last words have also reported to have been: ''Va bene, va bene, arrivo. Aspettate un momento.'' (Okay, okay, I'll come. Just give it a moment.)

* ''Chiudi la mia mano, cara amica, sto morendo.''
** Translation: Clasp my hand, dear friend, I am dying.
** Who: [[w:Vittorio Alfieri|Vittorio Alfieri]], was an Italian dramatist and poet, considered the &quot;founder of Italian tragedy.&quot;

* I'm in no pain. No pain. Don't cry for me, Rahaman. I'm going to be with Allah. I made peace with God, I'm okay... Rahaman, how do I look?
** Who: [[Muhammad Ali]]
*** Note: Rahaman Ali, a former heavyweight boxer, was Muhammad Ali's younger brother.
** As quoted in [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/06/04/muhammad-ali-told-family-he-was-in-no-pain-and-going-to-allah/ &quot;Muhammad Ali told family he was 'in no pain and going to Allah'&quot;] by Nick Allen, ''The Telegraph'' (4 June 2016)

*I'm sorry, boys. I'm all wet.
** Who: [[Gracie Allen]], wife and comedy partner of [[George Burns]].

* ''Más pronto que tarde, las grandes avenidas se abrirán de nuevo y los hombres libres caminarán a través de ellas para construir una sociedad mejor. ¡Larga vida a Chile! Larga vida a la gente! ¡Larga vida a los trabajadores! Estas son mis últimas palabras, y estoy seguro de que mi sacrificio no será en vano, estoy seguro de que, al menos, será una lección moral que castigará la felonía, la cobardía y la traición.''
** Translation: Sooner rather than later, the great avenues will open again and free men will walk through them to construct a better society. Long live Chile! Long live the people! Long live the workers! These are my last words, and I am certain that my sacrifice will not be in vain, I am certain that, at the very least, it will be a moral lesson that will punish felony, cowardice, and treason.
** Who: [[Salvador Allende]], Chilean physician and politician, 28th President of Chile.
*** Note: Last speech given before he committed suicide during the [[w:1973 Chilean coup d'état|1973 coup d'état]].

*Fuck y'all.
** Who: [[August Ames]], Canadian pornographic actress. d. December 5, 2017.
*** Note: This was Ames' final tweet before she committed [[suicide]] the following day. Over the past few days Ames had been subject to intense cyberbullying after another Twitter post where she stated her reluctance to work with a male co-worker who'd done gay porn.

*Thank you all for helping to making my life the incredible tale it was. I'm sorry it had to end on such a heartbreaking note. Though I know for SURE hella people are gonna prolly laugh at it LOL I just hope there's at least some fresh me-me's that come of it. I'm dying as a guy hated by a lot of people, so I know you all won't let me down haha. Well, that's my cue. Time for me to go. I mean this with every bit of my heart... Take care of yourselves, and of course, as usual, please have yourself a damn good one.
*Um, Poki, sorry for scaring you so much. I really am sorry for that, I apologize. I was being stupid. Christine, sorry for being so hard-headed, and all the other horrible things I did. I mean, hey, two...two wrongs don't make a right, but I mean, y'know. Hmm.
** Who: Desmond Daniel Amofah, aka [[w:Etika|Etika]]
*** Note: The first quote comes from the end of the description of his pre-recorded suicide note, titled &quot;I'm sorry&quot;. The second quote is the final words spoken by Amofah in the video. Amofah disappeared later that night, leaving his belongings at the Manhattan Bridge, and was found dead from drowning five days later.

* ''Spørg mig ikke, hvordan jeg er! Jeg forstår intet mere.''
** Translation: Don't ask me how I am! I understand nothing more.
** Who: [[Hans Christian Andersen]], Danish author of ''The Ugly Duckling'', ''The Little Mermaid'', ''The Emperor's New Clothes'', ''The Snow Queen'', and ''The Princess and the Pea''.

* I pray you to bear me witness that I meet my fate like a brave man.
** Who: [[w:John André|Major John André]], a British Army officer.
*** Note: According to James Thatcher's book ''The American Revolution'', André raised the handkerchief from his eyes and said these words when given an opportunity to speak, moments before he was hanged as a British spy.

* ''Pardonnez-moi, monsieur. Je ne l'ai pas fait exprès.''
** Translation: Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose.
** Who: [[Marie Antoinette]], Queen of France and Archduchess of Austria.
*** Note: As she approached the guillotine, convicted of treason and about to be beheaded, she accidentally stepped on the foot of her executioner.

* ''Aequanimitas.''
** Translation: Equanimity.
** Who: [[w:Antoninus Pius|Emperor Antoninus Pius]]
*** Note: When tribune of the night watch came to ask for the password.

* Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel.
** Who: George Appel, executed by [[w:electric chair|electric chair]] in 1928.

* ''Mennyi az idő? Különben mindegy...''
** Translation: What is the time? Never mind, it's not important...
** Who: [[János Arany]], Hungarian poet.

* ''Μη μου τους κύκλους τάραττε'' (''Mè mou tous kuklous taratte'')
** Translation: Don't disturb my circles!
** Alternate: Don't disturb my equation.
** Who: [[Archimedes]], an Ancient Greek mathematician, physicist, engineer, inventor, and astronomer.
*** Note: In response to a Roman soldier who was forcing him to report to the Roman general after the capture of Syracuse, while he was busy sitting on the ground proving geometry theorems. The soldier killed him, despite specific instructions not to, resulting in his execution.

* ''Zeg de mensen dat homoseksuelen niet per definitie zwakkelingen zijn.''
** Translation: Let it be known that homosexuals are not necessarily cowards.
** Who: [[w:Willem Arondeus|Willem Arondeus]], Dutch artist and writer, member of the Anti-Nazi resistance.
*** Note: He led a group in bombing the Amsterdam Public Records Office, destroying thousands of files to prevent the Nazis from identifying Jews. Within a week, Arondeus and the other members of the group were arrested. Twelve, including Arondeus, were executed by firing squad.

* ''Tali segreti sono stati rivelati a me che tutto quello che ho scritto ora appare come tanta paglia.''
** Translation: Such secrets have been revealed to me that all I have written now appears as so much straw.
** Who: [[Thomas Aquinas]], philosopher, theologian and jurist in the tradition of scholasticism.

* Let me die in the old uniform in which I fought my battles for freedom, May God forgive me for putting on another.
** Who: [[Benedict Arnold]], general during the American Revolutionary War who defected from the Continental Army to the British.
*** Note: He wanted to wear his old Continental Army uniform.

* I love you too, honey. Good luck with your show.
** Who: [[w:Desi Arnaz|Desi Arnaz]], an American musician, actor, television producer, writer and director.
*** Note: He was speaking on the telephone to his former wife Lucille Ball, regarding her TV series, ''[[w:Life with Lucy|Life with Lucy]]''. Neither Arnaz nor Ball had yet been informed that ''Life with Lucy'' had already been canceled.

* Life is not worth living.
** Who: [[w:Chester A. Arthur|Chester A. Arthur]], 21st president of the United States. 

* I didn't want to leave this world without knowing who my descendant was; thank you, Michael.
** Who: [[w:Fred Astaire|Fred Astaire]], American entertainer best known for his dancing skills.
*** The &quot;Michael&quot; is [[w:Michael Jackson|Michael Jackson]].

* The ladies have to go first. Goodbye, dearie. I'll see you later.
** Who: [[w:John Jacob Astor IV|John Jacob Astor IV]], an American businessman, real estate builder, investor, inventor, writer, lieutenant colonel in the Spanish–American War, and a prominent member of the Astor family.
*** Note: The accuracy of this report is disputed. Astor and his wife were traveling on the [[w:RMS Titanic|Titanic]] when it struck an iceberg and began to sink. As Astor prepared to enter a lifeboat with his wife, a group of female passengers appeared on deck. He gave up his seat and spoke his final words to his wife; he was later found floating in the ocean, dead.

* Am I dying, or is this my birthday?
** Who: [[w:Nancy Astor, Viscountess Astor|Lady Nancy Astor]], an American-born English socialite.
*** Note: In her final illness, she awoke on her deathbed to see her family at her bedside.  The full quote is &quot;Jackie, am I dying, or is this my birthday?&quot; to which Jackie replied &quot;A bit of both, Mum.&quot; Astor did not die on her birthday.

* Nobody move please, we are going back to the airport, don't try to make any stupid moves.
** Who: [[Mohamed Atta]], [[w:American Airlines Flight 11|American Airlines Flight 11]] hijacker-pilot.
*** Note: This was the second transmission Atta intended to say to the passengers that he transmitted to air traffic control after he pressed the wrong button several minutes earlier.

* ''Acta est fabula, plaudite.''
** Translation: Have I played the part well? Then applaud as I exit. 
** Who: [[Augustus]], the first emperor of the Roman empire
*** Note: His last words are also reported to be: ''Marmoream se relinquere, quam latericiam accepisset'' – &quot;I found Rome a city of clay, but left it a city of marble&quot;.

* I want nothing but death.
** Who: [[Jane Austen]], an English novelist known principally for her five major novels which interpret, critique and comment upon the life of the British landed gentry at the end of the 18th century.
*** Note: In response to her sister Cassandra who had asked her if she wanted something.
** As quoted in ''Last Words of Notable People: Final Words of More than 3500 Noteworthy People Throughout History'' (2010) by William B. Brahms which discusses a letter from Cassandra to her niece Fannie Knight after the death of Jane Austen on July 18, 1817. Brahms notes the letter is reprinted in ''Letters of Jane Austen'' (1884) by Jane Austen.

* I ask you all to forgive me. I ask the people of Samford to forgive me. I ask my mother to forgive me. May you all live long and die happy. God save the King! God save the King! God be with you all! Send a wire to my mother and tell her I died happy, won't you. Yes tell her I died happy with no fear. Goodbye all! Goodbye all!
** Who: [[w:Ernest Austin (murderer)|Ernest Austin]]
*** Note: Austin made this statement before being hanged for rape and murder, the last two as he fell through the trap door. He was the last person in Queensland to be hanged.

* I love you.
** Who: [[w:Avicii|Avicii]], Swedish DJ and musician.
*** Note: Spoken to his girlfriend, Tereza Kacerova, on the day of his suicide.

=B=
* مودند اى مردم اگر مرا ميشناختيد مثل اين جوان که ّ اجل از شماست در اين سبيل قربان ميشديد من آن ظهور موعودى هستم که آسمان کمتر مثل او را ديده سيصد و سيزده تن از نقباء خود را فداى من کردند اين (''Ay mardom, agar marâ mí-shenâkhtid mesl in javân keh ajal az shomâst dar in sabil ghorbāne mí-shodid man ân zohur maw'ūd hastam ke âsmân kamtar mesl u râ dide estad va sizah tan az nuqaba' khod râ fidā'iyy man kárdand in.'')
** Translation: Had you believed in Me, O wayward generation, every one of you would have followed the example of this youth, who stood in rank above most of you, and willingly would have sacrificed himself in My path. The day will come when you will have recognised Me; that day I shall have ceased to be with you.
** Who: [[The Báb]], founder of Bábism, and one of three central figures of the Bahá'í Faith.
*** Note: His final words were shouted at the spectating crowd during His execution by a firing squad. The words &quot;this youth&quot; refer to the young Mirza Muhammad-'Ali, who was being executed along with him.

* ''Weine nicht für mich, denn ich gehe dahin, wo Musik geboren wird.''
** Translation: Don't cry for me, for I go where music is born.
** Who: [[Johann Sebastian Bach]], German Baroque composer.
*** Note: Said to his wife on his deathbed.

* My name and memory I leave to man's charitable speeches, to foreign nations, and to the next age.
** Who: [[Francis Bacon]], Renaissance scientist.

* Oh God, here I go!
** Who: [[w:Max Baer (boxer)|Max Baer]], American boxer.
*** Note: Spoken after a fatal heart attack.

* My Florida water.
** Who: [[Lucille Ball]], an American actress, comedian, model, film studio executive and producer.
*** Note: Her response when asked if she wanted anything. Ball's last ''written'' words, to [[w:Carol Burnett|Carol Burnett]] along with her annual birthday gift to her, were, &quot;Happy birthday, kid. Love, Lucy.&quot; Burnett received the message and gift the day after Ball had died.

* Oh, you young people act like old men. You have no fun.
** Who: [[w:Josephine Baker|Josephine Baker]], an American-born French dancer, jazz and pop music singer, and actress.
*** Note: The famed starlet was reportedly attempting to seduce a man several decades younger than she was. She died of a stroke later that night. 

* I'm in the hands of Jesus...
** Who: [[w:Tammy Faye Messner|Tammy Faye Messner]], an American Christian singer, evangelist, entrepreneur, author, talk show host, and television personality.
*** Note: As told by her husband Roe Messner on CNN's ''Larry King Live''. Roe was with Tammy Faye at the moment of her death.

* Codeine...bourbon...
** Who: [[Tallulah Bankhead]], an American actress of the stage and screen, and a reputed libertine.
*** Note: Her response when asked if she wanted anything.

* You know. Bill and I have working on Hanna-Barbera studios since many years ago. We've did cartoons such as Yogi Bear, Huckleberry Hound, Quick Draw McGraw, the Flintstones and more. That was very perfect at all.
** Who: [[w:Joseph Barbera|Joseph Barbera]], American animator, director, producer, storyboard artist, and cartoon artist

* Stay loyal, remain free, and always value honor.
** Who: [[w:Sonny Barger|Sonny Barger]], founder of the Oakland Hells Angels motorcycle club, as part of a note he wrote to be released upon his death.

* I would rather be a servant in the House of the Lord than to sit in the seats of the mighty.
** Who: [[w:Alben W. Barkley|Alben W. Barkley]], former Vice President of the United States.
*** Note: He suffered a fatal heart attack in the middle of a speech. His last words were caught on tape.

* How were the receipts today at Madison Square Garden?
** Who: [[P. T. Barnum]], circus entrepreneur.

* I can't sleep.
** Who: [[J.M. Barrie]], author of works including ''Peter Pan''.

*  .توكلت على الله. توكلت على الله. توكلت على الله. توكلت على الله. توكلت على الله. توكلت على الله. توكلت على الله. توكلت على الله. توكلت على الله. توكلت على الله توكلت على الله. (''Tawakalt ala Allah. Tawakalt ala Allah. Tawakalt ala Allah. Tawakalt ala Allah. Tawakalt ala Allah. Tawakalt ala Allah. Tawakalt ala Allah. Tawakalt ala Allah. Tawakalt ala Allah. Tawakalt ala Allah. Tawakalt ala Allah.'')
** Translation: I rely on God. I rely on God. I rely on God. I rely on God. I rely on God. I rely on God. I rely on God. I rely on God. I rely on God. I rely on God. I rely on God.
** Who: [[w:Gameel Al-Batouti|Gameel Al-Batouti]], EgyptAir pilot
*** Note: Batouti continually repeated these words while at the controls of [[w:EgyptAir Flight 990|EgyptAir Flight 990]] moments before the plane crashed into the Atlantic Ocean shortly after leaving New York City for Cairo. The NTSB said that Batouti deliberately crashed the plane while Egyptian investigators said that mechanical failure caused the crash.

* Is everybody happy? I want everybody to be happy. I know I'm happy.
** Who: [[w:Ethel Barrymore|Ethel Barrymore]], an American actress regarded as the &quot;First Lady of the American Theater.&quot;
*** Note: Spoken to her housekeeper before her passing.

* Die, I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
** Who: [[John Barrymore]], an American actor on stage, screen and radio.

* Now we can cross the Shifting Sands.
** Who: [[L. Frank Baum]], author of ''[[The Wonderful Wizard of Oz]].''
*** Note: Baum was referring to the Shifting Sands, the impassable desert surrounding the Land of Oz.

* Are you guys ready? Let's roll.
** Who: [[w:Todd Beamer|Todd Beamer]], passenger on United Flight 93, September 11, 2001.
*** Note: These are his last recorded words, coming at the end of a cell phone call before Beamer and others attempted to storm the airliner's cockpit to retake it from hijackers who were part of the [[w:September 11, 2001 attacks|9/11 terrorist attacks]]. The plane crashed near Shanksville, Pennsylvania.

* Rain had always been a harbinger of tragedy for me.
** Who: George Beard, an American neurologist who popularized the term [[w:neurasthenia|neurasthenia]].
*** Note: His death occurred during a rainstorm.

* ''Bonaparte...l'île d'Elbe...le roi de Rome.''
** Translation: [[w:Napoleon|Bonaparte]]... [[w:Elba|the island of Elba]]... the King of Rome.
** Who: [[w:Joséphine de Beauharnais|Joséphine de Beauharnais]], first wife of [[w:Napoleon|Napoleon Bonaparte]].

* ''Ich denke an frühere Zeiten.''
** Translation: I am thinking of earlier times.
**Who: [[w:Ludwig Beck|Ludwig Beck]], German general, committing suicide after the [[w:20 July plot|failed attempt]] to kill Hitler, 20 July 1944.

* [''To his murderers''] If all the swords in England were pointed against my head, your threats would not move me.
* I am ready to die for my Lord, that in my blood the Church may obtain liberty and peace.
** Who: [[w:Thomas Becket|Thomas Becket]], Archbishop of Canterbury, d. 1170.

* Now comes the mystery.
** Who: [[Henry Ward Beecher]], evangelist, d. March 8, 1887.

* ''Plaudite, amici, comedia finita est.''
** Translation: Applaud, my friends, the comedy is finished. (The formula traditionally used to end a performance of ''commedia dell'arte.'')
** Who: [[Ludwig van Beethoven]], German composer.
*** Note: His final words are subject to historical debate, and vary with many biographies. Among those that have been reported to be his last words are:
***[''Upon the arrival from his publisher of 12 bottles of wine''] Pity, pity, too late!
***I shall hear in Heaven.
*** [''To his friend, composer [[w:Johann Nepomuk Hummel|Johann Nepomuk Hummel]], who was at his bedside''] Is it not true, Hummel, that I have some talent after all?
***I feel as if up to now I had written no more than a few notes.
***There, do you hear the bell? Don't you hear it ringing? The curtain must drop. Yes! My curtain is falling.
***[''To a priest, after he received his last rites''] I thank you, Reverend Sir. You have brought me comfort.
*** Another biographer states him saying nothing; simply shaking his fists defiantly at the heavens as a thunderstorm raged outside his window. This is taken from the report of composer [[w:Anselm Hüttenbrenner|Anselm Hüttenbrenner]], a close friend of Beethoven who was present at his death.

* ''Todo mortal...''
** Translation: ''All mortal...''
** Who: [[w:Gustavo Adolfo Bécquer|Gustavo Adolfo Bécquer]], a Spanish post-romanticist poet and writer, also a playwright, literary columnist, and talented in drawing.
*** Note: He was delirious because of high fever and illness.

*''No.''
** Who: [[Alexander Graham Bell]], a Scottish-born scientist, inventor, engineer and innovator who is credited with patenting the first practical telephone.
*** Note: While Alexander Graham Bell was dying, his deaf wife whispered to him, &quot;Don't leave me.&quot; Bell responded by signing the word, &quot;No.&quot;

* I'd rather die watching football than in my bed with my boots off.
** Who: [[w:Bert Bell|Bert Bell]], founding owner of the Philadelphia Eagles football team and commissioner of the National Football League. Bell indeed died of a heart attack watching an Eagles game that day.

* Just don't leave me alone.
** Who: [[w:John Belushi|John Belushi]], an American comedian, actor, and musician.

* ''Signore, ti amo.''
** Translation: Lord, I love you.
** Who: [[w:Pope Benedict XVI|Pope Benedict XVI]], as confirmed by Archbishop Georg Gänswein.

* I love you. Thank you.
** Who: [[Tony Bennett]], American traditional pop singer.
*** To his wife and son, respectively.

*''The dogs are in the enclosed pool area. Garage side door is open.''
** Who: [[w:Chris Benoit|Chris Benoit]], a professional wrestler who worked for WWE.
*** Note: This was a text sent to fellow wrestler and longtime friend Chavo Guerrero after Benoit had murdered his wife and children and shortly before he hung himself.

* How did the [[w:New York Mets|Mets]] do today?
** Who: [[Moe Berg]], an American baseball catcher and World War II spy.
*** Note: The Mets won that day.

* My name is Nick Berg, my father's name is Michael, my mother's name is Suzanne. I have a brother and sister, David and Sarah. I live in West Chester, Pennsylvania, near Philadelphia.
** Who: [[w:Nick Berg|Nick Berg]], American contractor
*** Note: Berg identifies himself at the beginning of a video posted on an Islamic website that ends with Berg being beheaded by terrorists in Iraq.

* And where do you come from?
** Who: [[w:Isaiah Berlin|Isaiah Berlin]], a Latvian-British social and political theorist, philosopher and historian of ideas.
*** Note: To the nurse caring for him. Hardy, Henry (2001). [http://berlin.wolf.ox.ac.uk/writings_on_ib/hhonib/legacy.html &quot;Review of ''The Legacy of Isaiah Berlin''&quot;]. The Isaiah Berlin Virtual Library.

* ''Enfin, on va jouer ma musique.''
** Translation: At last, they are going to play my music.
** Who: [[Hector Berlioz]], French composer
*** Note: These words were reputedly his last, but other reports include him saying:
*** [''Bidding farewell to composer [[w:Mily Balakirev|Mily Balakirev]]''] One thousand greetings to Balakirev.
*** [''Speaking to his dead wife''] Oh, Mère Recio, it is finished.
*** [''Quoting from Macbeth's final soliloquy in Shakespeare's play of the same name'']: &quot;Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.&quot; That is my signal.

* ''Jag behöver den.''
** Translation: I'll need it.
** Who: [[Folke Bernadotte|Count Folke Bernadotte of Wisborg]], Swedish diplomat and nobleman.
*** Note: In response as he drove away after he inspected a bullet in his vehicle's wheel and a newspaper man shouted &quot;Good luck!&quot;

* ''Cette fois il me servira pour le voyage d'où il n'y a pas de retour, le voyage de l'éternité.''
** Translation: This time it will serve me for the voyage from which there is no return, the voyage of eternity.
** Who: [[Claude Bernard]], a French physiologist.
*** Note: Spoken when he began to feel cold and a cover was placed on his feet.

* Never fear; if you will but have patience I don't doubt we shall get through; but take care how you ever get in such a scrape again.
** Who: [[w:Sir Francis Bernard, 1st Baronet|Sir Francis Bernard, 1st Baronet]], a British colonial administrator who served as governor of the provinces of New Jersey and Massachusetts Bay.

* Don't die like I did.
* Bestie, you've got to help me. They're having a fucking party in here. I heard them last night, Bestie. They were having drinks and there were girls.
** Who: [[George Best]], a Northern Irish professional footballer who played as a winger for Manchester United and the Northern Ireland national team.
*** Note: Best died as a result of a lung infection and multiple organ failure caused by years of alcoholism. The first line was published in ''News of the World'' with a picture of Best lying in his hospital bed, five days before his death. The second line, heard by his son Calum, came during after the beeping machines in his ward sent him hallucinating that he was at a club.

* Dear God. Dear God. Why is this happening? I just want to go home.
** Who: [[w:Cassie Bernall|Cassie Bernall]], victim of the [[w:Columbine High School massacre |Columbine High School massacre]].
*** Note: According to Emily Wyant, a close friend of Cassie's, she was heard praying in these last words before Eric Harris yelled &quot;Peek-a-boo!&quot; and fatally shot her in the face. This account disproves the myth that Bernall said &quot;yes&quot; to Dylan Klebold before he shot her dead (it was actually Valeen Schnurr who got terribly shot ''before'' being asked by Klebold if she believed in God and surviving the whole ordeal). [http://www.salon.com/1999/09/30/bernall/]

* ''Combien lent est mon agonie.''
** Translation: How slow my death agony is.
** Who: [[Sarah Bernhardt|Sarah Bernhardt]], a French stage and early film actress.

* اے رب، میری مدد کریں ... کیونکہ میں معصوم ہوں. (''Ae rab, meri madad karen...kyunkay mein masoom hon.'')
** Translation: O Lord, help me... for I am innocent.
** Who: [[w:Zulfikar Ali Bhutto|Zulfikar Ali Bhutto]], Prime Minister of Pakistan.
*** Note: Said shortly before his hanging.

* ''Dêem-me café, vou escrever!''
** Translation: Give me coffee, I'm going to write.
** Who: [[w:Olavo Bilac|Olavo Bilac]], Brazilian poet.

* I will love you forever.
** Who: [[w:Bushwick Bill|Bushwick Bill]], American rapper
*** Note: Spoken to his son on his deathbed.

* ''¿Quién es? ¿Quién es?''
** Translation: Who is it? Who is it?
** Who: [[Billy the Kid|Billy the Kid]], an American Old West gunfighter who participated in New Mexico's Lincoln County War.
***Note: When Billy saw sheriff [[w:Pat Garrett|Pat Garrett]], he failed to recognize him due to the poor lighting. Garrett then shot him to death.

* لا تضيء الضوء! (''la tudi' alduwa!'')
** Translation: Don't turn on the light.
** Who: [[Osama bin Laden]], founder of [[Al-Qaeda]].

* I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart. I want to thank all of my family and friends for my prayers and who supported and believed in me. My Father, I'm being paroled to heaven. I will now spend all my holidays with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Peace be with you all. Amen.
** Who: [[w:Kenneth Biros|Kenneth Biros]], first person executed by a one-drug lethal injection in Ohio on December 8, 2009.

* ''Haus.''
** Translation: Home.; Literally: House. 
** Who: [[Otto von Bismarck]], German statesman and Chancellor of Germany.
*** Note: Scrawled on a piece of paper; there is debate as to whether Bismarck meant to convey that he was returning to the afterlife or was simply delirious or intoxicated.

* ''Ben konuşmamı Sezai Karakoç'un size atfen yazdığı satırlarla bitiriyorum. Onlar sanıyorlar ki biz sussak mesele kalmayacak. Halbuki biz sussak tarih susmayacak. Tarih sussa hakikat susmayacak. Onlar sanıyorlar ki, bizden kurtulsalar, mesele kalmayacak. Halbuki bizden kurtulsanız, vicdan azabından kurtulamayacaksınız. Vicdan azabından kurtulsanız, tarihin azabından kurtulamayacaksınız. Tarihin azabından kurtulsanız, Allah'ın gazabından kurtulamayacaksınız. Hepinizi saygıyla selamlıyorum.''
** Translation: I end my speech with the lines Sezai Karakoç wrote with reference to you. They think that if we keep silent, there will be no problem. However, if we remain silent, history will not remain silent. Even if history remains silent, the truth will not remain silent. They think when they get rid of us, there will be no problem. However, even if you get rid of us, you will not be able to get rid of the torment of conscience. Even if you get rid of the torment of conscience, you will not be able to get rid of the torment of history. Even if you get rid of the torment of history, you will not be able to get rid of the wrath of God. I greet you all with respect.
** Who: [[w:Hasan Bitmez|Hasan Bitmez]], Turkish politician
*** Note: Bitmez, a member of the [[w:Grand National Assembly of Turkey|Grand National Assembly]], said these lines at the end of a speech he gave during a parliamentary session, shortly before suffering a fatal heart attack.

* ''À moi!''
** Translation: Help!; Literally: To me!
** Who: [[w:Sophie Blanchard|Sophie Blanchard]], a French aeronaut and the wife of ballooning pioneer [[w:Jean-Pierre Blanchard |Jean-Pierre Blanchard]].
*** Note: Blanchard, a balloonist, said these words when her balloon crashed, killing her.

* I die in the faith of my people. May the German people be aware of its enemies!&lt;ref name=&quot;NYTimes1951-06-18&quot;&gt;
{{cite news
| work = Time
| title = Germany: Case Closed
| date = 18 June 1951
| url = http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,814963,00.html
}}
&lt;/ref&gt;
** Who: [[w:Paul Blobel|Paul Blobel]], a German SS officer
*** Note: Blobel said these words before his execution.

* Goodbye, kid. Hurry back.
** Who: [[Humphrey Bogart]], an American screen actor who performed in iconic 1940s films noir such as ''The Maltese Falcon'', ''Casablanca'', and ''The Big Sleep.''
*** Note: The line was spoken to his wife, Lauren Bacall, as she left his bedside to pick up her children. She returned to find Bogart in a coma, from which he never regained consciousness.

* ''À Jésus-Christ je recommande mon âme! Jésus recevez mon âme! Jésus recevez mon âme! Jésus recevez–''
** Translation: To Jesus Christ I commend my soul. Jesus have pity on me. Jesus have pity on me. Jesus have pity–
** Who: [[Anne Boleyn]]

* Damn it! How will I ever get out of this labyrinth?
** Who: [[Simon Bolivar]], a Venezuelan military and political leader.
*** Note: His last words are also recorded as &quot;Fetch The Luggage, They do not want us here&quot;

* ''France, armée, tête d'armée, Joséphine.''
** Translation: ''France, Army, Head of the Army, Joséphine.''
** Who: [[Napoleon Bonaparte]], French military leader and emperor who conquered much of Europe in the early 19th century. He died in exile in Saint Helena on 5 May 1821.

* ...و مع الإسلام (''Wa ma' l'iislam...'')
** Translation: And of Islam...
** Who: [[w:Mohamed Boudiaf|Mohamed Boudiaf]], President of Algeria.
*** Note: In 1992, he was conducting a televised speech in Arabic to an audience at a newly-opened cultural centre in Annaba, when his assassin struck. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ke4OilxPboM]

* ''Ah, das schmeckt gut. Vielen Dank.''
** Translation: Ah, that tastes nice. Thank you.
** Who: [[w:Johannes Brahms|Johannes Brahms]], a German composer and pianist.
*** Note: Spoken after he had a small glass of wine.

* ''Frau Junge, ich möchte Ihnen diesen Mantel zum Abschied schenken. Ich habe immer so gerne gut angezogene Damen um mich gehabt, jetzt sollen Sie ihn haben und sich daran freuen.''
** Translation: Mrs. Junge, I would like to give you this coat as a parting gift. I've always loved being around well-dressed women, and now you can have it and enjoy it.
** Who: [[w:Eva Braun|Eva Braun]], wife of Adolf Hitler
*** Note: Spoken to [[w:Traudl Junge|Traudl Junge]], Hitler's final personal secretary. 

* ''Surgite!''
** Translation: Push on!
** Who: [[w:Isaac Brock|General Sir Isaac Brock]], British Army officer and administrator.
*** Note: Said after being shot by American sharpshooters during the [[w:Battle of Queenston Heights|Battle Of Queenston Heights]].

* Tell my mother I died for my country...Useless... useless...
** Who: [[w:John Wilkes Booth|John Wilkes Booth]], American stage actor and assassin of President Abraham Lincoln.
*** Note: He said these words as he laid mortally wounded after being shot during a manhunt three hours earlier.

* Somewhere completely different.
** Who: [[Victor Borge]], Danish musical comedian and pianist.
*** Note: In response to an interview question, promoting a concert, as to where he would be spending the holidays. Borge died shortly after returning home from the concert.&lt;ref&gt;{{YouTube|1th8w106Kok|Final TV interview, DR1, tx, 31 December 2000}}&lt;/ref&gt;

* كيف تتوقع مني أن أعيش؟ (''Kayf tatawaqa' miniy 'an 'a'ish?'')
** Translation: How do you expect me to make a living?
** Who: [[w:Mohamed Bouazizi|Mohamed Bouazizi]], Tunisian street vendor.
*** Note: Bouazizi set himself on fire on 17 December 2010, in response to the confiscation of his wares and the harassment and humiliation that he said was inflicted on him by a municipal official and her aides. At 11:30 AM local time, he shouted these words while standing in the middle of traffic, then doused himself with gasoline and set himself alight with a match. He later died at the Ben Arous Burn and Trauma Centre on 4 January 2011. This act of self-immolation became a catalyst for the [[w:Tunisian Revolution|Tunisian Revolution]], and eventually the wider [[w:Arab Spring|Arab Spring]].

* ''Je vais ou je vas mourir, l'un et l'autre se dit ou se disent.''
** Translation : I am about to – or I am going to – die: either expression is correct.
** Who: [[w:Dominique Bouhours|Dominique Bouhours]], French grammarian.

* He's got several units of Phoenix police on his tail right here and, uh, Jim,  stay with him, looks like he's gonna try and take another vehicle here. We'll see if they block him in there. Looks like they've got him blocked in there, but he did get h-
** Who: Scott Bowerbank, pilot for KTVK's Newschopper3 involved in the [[w:Phoenix news helicopter collision|Phoenix mid-air collision]]
** Note: While covering a police chase, Bowerbank's chopper was struck by KNXV-TV's Chopper15. Both choppers crashed to the ground, killing all four occupants on both aircraft.

* Music has been my doorway of perception and the house that I live in.
** Who: [[David Bowie]], English rock musician.

* I don't feel well. I don't think we should go on.
** Who: [[w:Stephen Boyd|Stephen Boyd]], actor
*** Note: Boyd was playing golf with his wife when he suffered a massive heart attack that took his life.

* I didn't murder the Hodges family. I've never murdered anybody. I'm going to my death with a clear conscience. I am going to my death having had a great life because of my two great sons, Mike and Doug.
** Who: [[w:Earl Bramblett|Earl Bramblett]]
*** Note: Spoken prior to his death in the state of Virginia's electric chair.

* But all the same, long live France!
** Who: [[w:Robert Brasillach|Robert Brasillach]], author

* No. I have no final statement.
** Who: Lawrence Russell Brewer
*** Note: Executed for the murder of [[w:Murder of James Byrd, Jr.|James Byrd, Jr.]]

* Sarah I miss and need you.
** Who: [[w:Bobbi Kristina Brown|Bobbi Kristina Brown]], an American reality television and media personality, singer, and actress.
*** Note: Last known tweet to her friend Bess Beckmann before she went into a coma and died months later.

* C'mon, let's get this day over and done with.
** Who: [[w:Peter Brock|Peter Brock]], Australian motor racing driver.
*** Note: Said to a track marshal before being killed instantly when he crashed into a tree at the Targa West rally. Brock's ex-wife believes that this comment showed that he should not have been racing.

* I'm going away tonight.
** Who: [[James Brown]], American singer, songwriter, musician, and recording artist.
** Source: Charles Bobbit, Brown's longtime personal manager and friend.
*** Note: James Brown uttered his last words minutes before his death, and then he took three, long quiet breaths and closed his eyes.
** His very last words were: &quot;I want you to look after my wife... and little man. I'm on fire. I'm burning up. Burning up.&quot;, as quoted in [http://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/comment/articles/2013-01/03/james-brown-fortune-lawsuits-death-drugs/viewall Icon: James Brown], ''GQ Magazine'', 3 January 2013.

* I, John Brown, am now quite certain that the crimes of this guilty land will never be purged away but with blood. I had, as I now think vainly, flattered myself that without very much bloodshed it might be done.
** Who: [[John Brown (abolitionist)|John Brown]], an American abolitionist.
*** Note: These words were not spoken, but written on a note and handed to a guard right before his execution.
** His spoken last words are usually considered to be: This is a beautiful country.

* Continuing to move the game forward @KingJames. Much respect my brother 💪🏾 #33644
** Who: [[Kobe Bryant]], American basketball player
*** Note: Those were Bryant's final public words, sent as a Tweet congratulating [[LeBron James]] for surpassing him for third place among the National Basketball Association's all-time leading scorers on January 25, 2020.  The following day, Bryant and four other people were killed in a helicopter crash near Los Angeles.

* Oh, Lord, God Almighty, as thou wilt!
** Who: [[James Buchanan]], 15th President of the United States.

* I'd like you to give my love to my family and friends.
** Who: [[Ted Bundy]], an American serial killer, kidnapper, rapist, and necrophile who assaulted and murdered numerous young women and girls.
*** Note: Those were Bundy's last words before being executed in the electric chair.

* I'm the problem.
** Who: David A. Burke
*** Note: Burke replied to the captain of [[w:Pacific Southwest Airlines Flight 1771|Pacific Southwest Airlines Flight 1771]], who inquired what &quot;the problem&quot; was after Burke fired a gun in the cabin of the plane. Burke shot the pilots and himself, deliberately crashing the flight.

* On that subject I am coy.
** Who: [[Aaron Burr]], 3rd Vice President of the United States.
*** His last words were a response to the efforts of his friend, Reverend P.J. Van Pelt, to get Burr to state that there was a God. Reported in Holmes Moss Alexander, ''Aaron Burr: The Proud Pretender‎'' (1937), p. 356.

* Back in no time.
** Who: [[William S. Burroughs]], American novelist, short story writer, essayist, painter, and spoken word performer.
*** Note: Spoken to a friend as he was being loaded into an ambulance after suffering a heart attack; he was comatose upon arrival at the hospital and never regained consciousness. Reported in Barry Miles, ''Call Me Burroughs: A Life'' (2014).

* You never know when the last one is.
* Happy Birthday @brextonbusch!!! &quot;Your mom &amp; I are so proud of who you’re turning out to be! You’re the best kid on &amp; off the track, you amaze us every day. Keep doing what you’re doing and there is no limit to what you’ll accomplish! Love you buddy!
** Who: [[w:Kyle Busch|Kyle Busch]], American stock car racer.
*** The first quote came from interviews following what would be his final races, when Busch had been asked why he appreciated the victories he had achived.&lt;ref&gt;[https://www.whiskeyriff.com/2026/05/21/never-know-when-the-last-one-is-kyle-buschs-interview-after-winning-his-final-nascar-race-hits-hard-following-his-death/ “Never Know When The Last One Is” – Kyle Busch’s Interview After Winning His Final NASCAR Race Hits Hard Following His Death]&lt;/ref&gt;&lt;ref&gt;[https://www.wcnc.com/article/news/nation-world/kyle-busch-last-race-may-15-trucks-nascar-post-interview/507-d908a8d9-1fb7-418c-b5b0-f27c37126916 'You never know when the last one is': Kyle Busch's last post-race interview resurfaces after his death], May 21, 2026&lt;/ref&gt; The second was his final social media post, a birthday wish to his son Brexton, who, like others in the Busch family, was pursuing a racing career.&lt;ref&gt;[https://sports.yahoo.com/articles/kyle-buschs-last-tweet-break-233953362.html Kyle Busch's last tweet will break your heart], May 21, 2026&lt;/ref&gt;

* I love you, too.
** Who: [[George H. W. Bush]], American politician, 41st president of the United States
*** Note: Spoken to his eldest son, [[George W. Bush]], via speakerphone, before his death.

* Free Palestine!
** Who: [[w:Self-immolation of Aaron Bushnell|Aaron Bushnell]], American military serviceman
*** Note: Said to protest USA's support for Israel during the 2025 Gaza war.

* The corruption of the state shall fall. Governor Taft, you will not be re-elected. The rest of you, you know where you can go.
** Who: [[w:John William Byrd, Jr.|John William Byrd, Jr.]]
*** Note: Byrd told his family he loved them and that they should keep fighting the death penalty. [http://www.clarkprosecutor.org/html/death/US/byrd760.htm]

* Now I shall go to sleep. Goodnight.
** Who: [[Lord Byron]], British poet.

* I went the distance.
** Who: [[w:Steve Byrnes|Steve Byrnes]], an American television announcer and producer.
*** Note: Final words sent from a tweet.

* من قبل رب الكعبة، لقد كنت ناجحة. (''Min qibal rabi alka'bati, laqad kunt najihatan.'')
** Translation: By the Lord of the Ka'bah, I have been successful.
** Who: [[Ali ibn Abi Talib]], cousin and son-in-law of the Islamic prophet Muhammad, ruling over the Islamic caliphate from 656 to 661.
*** Note: This was spoken after being hit on the head with a poisoned sword, while leading the Morning Prayer, by Ibn Maljam, a fundamentalist.

=C=
* Damn, hang on Ronnie!
** Who: James Caddell
*** Note: Referring to passenger Ronald Wilmond, after his Cessna L-19 stalled and plummeted into a forest near Tabernash, Colorado, in 1984. The crash site remained undiscovered until 1987, when it was found by backpackers. Footage of the crash had been captured on the Cessna's mounted VHS camcorder, the tape of which was recovered and repaired by a sheriff. The footage, secured by the FAA, was kept from the public at the Caddell family's request and was shown only to flight instructors. After the expiry of the moratorium, the footage became public and [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhZy12jVfCw was later uploaded to YouTube].

* ''Nostri coniugii memor vive, ac vale.''
** Translation: Live mindful of our marriage, and farewell.
** Who: Emperor [[w:Augustus|Augustus Caesar]], founder of the Roman Empire and its first Emperor.
*** Note: His last words in public as reported by Suetonius were the more famous &quot;Behold, I found Rome of clay, and leave her to you of marble.&quot; Some sources claim that his last words were, &quot;''Acta est fabula, plaudite!''&quot; (The play is over, applaud!), which were said at the end of Roman plays.

* Καὶ σύ, τέκνον; (''Kaì sú, téknon?'')
** Translation: You too, my child?
** Who: [[Julius Caesar]]
*** Note: ''Et tu, Brute?'' (often translated as &quot;and you, Brutus?&quot;) is attributed to him by Shakespeare's famous play; his last words according to claims reported by [[Suetonius]], were ''καὶ σύ, τέκνον;'' (pronounced &quot;Kaì sú, téknon?&quot;) which means &quot;You too, my child?&quot; in Greek, though his native tongue was Latin [De Vita Caesarum Liber I Divus Iulius, LXXXII]). Suetonius himself, however, actually discounts these claims, and asserts that Caesar ''said nothing'' as he died, apart from a groan. His definite last words according to Suetonius were instead, &quot;''Ista, quidem vis est!''&quot; (Why, this is violence!).

* ''Vivo!''
** Translation: I live!
** Who: [[Caligula]] (Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus), Roman Emperor, as he was being assassinated by his own soldiers (as reported by Roman historian [[w:Tacitus |Tacitus]]).

* I can't see anything. I've got the bows up... I'm going! Uh–
** Who: [[w:Donald Campbell|Donald Campbell]], British speed record breaker who broke eight absolute world speed records.
** Context: Final radio transmission from Bluebird K7 as she lifted from the surface of Conniston Water, flipped bow over stern and smashed to pieces on the lake surface in January 1967. Campbell was attempting to set a new world water speed record exceeding 300mph. His first run was 297mph. The crash occurred on the return run. Had he completed it, it would have been fast enough to set a record exceeding 300mph.

* This is not the end of me.
** Who: [[Henry Campbell-Bannerman]], Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.

* ''Bei letzter Vernehmung Nase gebrochen. Meine Zeit ist um. War kein Landesverräter. Habe als Deutscher meine Pflicht getan. Sollten Sie weiterleben, grüßen Sie meine Frau.''
**Translation: Nose broken at last interrogation. My time is up. Was not a traitor. Did my duty as a German. If you survive, please give my regards to my wife.
** Who: [[Wilhelm Canaris]], member of the [[w:July 20 plot|July 20 plot]], his last note before execution to the man in the cell next to him.
*** Last words also reported as &quot;''Ich sterbe für mein Vaterland, ich habe ein reines Gewissen.''&quot; – &quot;I am dying for my Fatherland. I have a clear conscience.&quot;

*It's me, it's Buddy... I'm cold.
** Who: [[Truman Capote]], writer.
*** Note: 'Buddy' was Capote's aunt's nickname for him.

*26th October last year, not 10 meters from where these men are now entombed, you had a 400-tonne rock fall. Why is it, is it the strength of the seam, or the wealth of the seam, that you continue to send men into work in such a dangerous environment?
** Who: [[w:Richard Carleton|Richard Carleton]], reporter for [[w:Nine News|National Nine News]].
*** Note: During a media conference that was held at [[w:Beaconsfield, Tasmania|Beaconsfield, Tasmania]] on 7 May 2006, Richard Carleton asked this question to Matthew Gill (mine manager of the Beaconsfield mine), in light of the [[w:Beaconsfield mine collapse|Beaconsfield mine collapse]]. When Gill declined to answer the question, Carleton walked away and suffered a heart attack; he was pronounced dead on the way to the hospital.

*So, this is death. Well!
** Who: [[Thomas Carlyle]], Scottish philosopher, satirical writer, essayist, historian and teacher.

* I hope so.
** Who: [[w:Andrew Carnegie|Andrew Carnegie]], steel magnate and philanthropist.
*** Note: Spoken to his wife whom had bid him goodnight.

* I hope you don't mind if I curse. I still love our fucking record!
** Who: [[w:Karen Carpenter|Karen Carpenter]], drummer and lead singer of the Carpenters
*** Note: from one of two phone calls Carpenter made the day before she died. One was to her brother Richard, discussing a new videocassette recorder she had planned on purchasing;&lt;ref name=&quot;brother&quot;&gt;{{cite magazine|last=Carpenter|first=Richard|date=November 21, 1983|title=A Brother Remembers|url=http://people.com/archive/cover-story-a-brother-remembers-vol-20-no-21/|magazine=People|volume=20|issue=21|archive-url=https://ghostarchive.org/archive/VD93c?url=http://people.com/archive/cover-story-a-brother-remembers-vol-20-no-21/|archive-date=September 24, 2021|access-date=October 5, 2017}}{{cbignore}}&lt;/ref&gt; the other, to producer Phil Ramone, discussed Carpenter's unreleased eponymous solo album, which A&amp;M Records had shelved three years prior.&lt;ref&gt;Ramone, Phil. ''Making Records: The Scenes Behind the Music''. Hyperion, 2007, page unknown.&lt;/ref&gt; Carpenter collapsed and died shortly after waking up the next day, following several years of battling anorexia nervosa. 

* Milan: What a beautiful place to die.
** Who: [[w:John Carradine|John Carradine]], an American actor, best known for his roles in horror films, Westerns and Shakespearean theatre.
*** Note: He died from multiple organ failure at Fatebenefratelli Hospital in Milan, Italy at age 82. Hours before he was stricken, he had climbed the 328 steep steps of Milan's Gothic cathedral, the Duomo.

* ''¡No abandonéis a mis indios!''
** Translation: Don't abandon my Indians!
** Who: [[w:Felipe Carrillo Puerto|Felipe Carrillo Puerto]], Mexican revolutionary, governor of Yucatán (executed)

* Take away these pillows, I won't need them any longer.
** Who: [[w:Lewis Carroll|Lewis Carroll]], English author and poet best known as the author of ''Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.''
** Quoted in [[Stuart Dodgson Collingwood]], ''The Life and Letters of Lewis Carroll'' (1898), pp.347-8

* I just wish I had time for one more bowl of chili.
** Who: [[w:Kit Carson|Kit Carson]], American frontiersman.
*** Note: His final words have also been reported as &quot;Adios, compadres.&quot;

* There are crooks everywhere you look now. The situation is desperate.
** Who: [[w:Daphne Caruana Galizia|Daphne Caruana Galizia]], Maltese journalist.
*** Note: Taken from her final blog post, published on the day of her assassination.

* I think I'll sleep now.
** Who: [[George Washington Carver]], an American botanist and inventor.

* ''Ho vissuto come filosofo, e morto come cristiano.'' 
** Translation: I have lived as a philosopher, and die as a Christian.
** Who: [[Giacomo Casanova]], an Italian adventurer and author from the Republic of Venice.

* I hear the train a-comin.
** Who: [[Johnny Cash]], American country music singer.

* So much wasted time.
** Who: [[w:David Cassidy|David Cassidy]], an American actor and singer known for ''[[The Partridge Family]]''.

*''Sculaţi, voi oropsiţi ai vieţii / Voi osândiţi la foame...''
** Translation: Arise, wretched of the earth / Arise, convicts of hunger...
** Who: [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]], Romanian politician and dictator.
*** Note: Immediately before his [[w:Trial and execution of Nicolae and Elena Ceaușescu|execution]], Ceaușescu began singing the Romanian version of [[The Internationale]]. According to Dorin Cârlan, one of the members of the firing squad, he didn't manage to finish the first verse before being killed.&lt;ref&gt;[https://adevarul.ro/stiri-interne/societate/drumul-spre-moarte-masoara-62-de-metri-1350584.html/ Drumul spre moarte măsoară 62 de metri]. ''Adevărul''. Retrieved October 8, 2024.&lt;/ref&gt;  

* We got a bad fire! Let's get out - we're burning up...
** Who: An [[w:Apollo 1|Apollo 1]] astronaut, probably [[w:Roger Chaffee|Roger Chaffee]]. All three crew members perished in a launchpad fire, 1967.

* ''Vous voyez, c'est comme ça que vous mourez.''
** Translation: You see, this is how you die.
** Who: [[Coco Chanel]], French fashion designer of women's clothes and founder of the [[w:Chanel|Chanel]] brand.

* Approaching dissolution brings relief.
** Who: [[Neville Chamberlain]], British prime minister.

* Hello.
** Who: [[w:Graham Chapman|Graham Chapman]], comedian of [[Monty Python]] fame.
*** Note: Spoken to his adopted son who had just arrived at the hospital.

* Tell [Carl] Mays I'm okay.
** Who: Cleveland Indians' baseball player [[w:Ray Chapman|Ray Chapman]].
*** Note: Chapman had been accidentally hit in the head by a pitch from Carl Mays, and died from complications of a skull fracture (1920). This was thirty-two years before batting helmets were first worn (Pittsburgh Pirates, 1952), and fifty years before Major League Baseball had made them mandatory (1970). To this day, Chapman is the only Major League Baseball player ever to die as a direct result of injuries sustained during a game.     

* ''In thine hendi, bevelhi ik minin geist.''
** Translation: Into Thy hands, I commend my spirit.
** Who: [[Charlemagne]]

* I go from a corruptible to an incorruptible Crown, where no disturbance can be, no disturbance in the world. Remember!
** Who: [[Charles I of England|Charles I]], King of England, on the executioner's block, 30 January 1649.

* You must pardon me, gentlemen, for being a most unconscionable time a-dying.
** Who: [[Charles II of England|Charles II]], son of the above, 1685.

* ''Quel meurtre! Quel sang! J'ai mal agi... Dieu, pardonne-moi!''
** Translation: What murder! What bloodshed! I have done wrong... Oh God, forgive me.
** Who: [[w:Charles IX of France|Charles IX of France]]
*** Note: Referring to his massively violent suppression of the [[w:Huguenots|Huguenot Protestants]] during his reign.

* ''Var inte rädd!''
** Translation: Do not be afraid!
** Who: [[w:Charles XII of Sweden|Charles XII of Sweden]].

* ''Ay Jesus.''
** Who: [[Charles V]], Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire and King of Spain , d. 1558.

* Why not? After all, it belongs to him.
** Who: Comedian [[Charlie Chaplin]], d. 1977, said this after a priest was reading him his last rites and said &quot;May the lord have mercy on your soul&quot;.

* ''Yo no quiero morir, por favor no me dejen morir.''
** Translation: I don't want to die. Please don't let me die.
** Who: [[Hugo Chávez]], President of Venezuela.
*** Note: Due to a severe respiratory infection, he was unable to speak for several days before his death. According to Venezuelan general Jose Ornella, he mouthed these words before suffering a massive heart attack and dying.

* У меня не было шампанского в течение долгого времени. (''U menya ne bylo shampanskogo v techeniye dolgogo vremeni.'')
** Translation: I haven't had champagne for a long time.
** Who: [[Anton Chekhov]], playwright, 1904. 
*** Note: His doctor had given him champagne after all other attempts to ease the symptoms of death from tuberculosis failed.

* Take a step forward lads - it'll be easier that way.
** Who: [[w:Robert Erskine Childers|Robert Erskine Childers]], last words, to his firing squad, Irish Civil War, 1922.

* ''Gdy ten kaszel mnie udusi, błagam Was, otwórzcie moje ciało, abym nie został pogrzebany żywcem.''
** Translation: As this cough will suffocate me, I implore you to have my body opened so that I will not be buried alive.
* ''Nigdy więcej.''
** Translation: Not any more.
* ''Zagraj w Mozarta na moją pamiątkę, a ja cię usłyszę.''
** Translation: Play Mozart in memory of me—and I will hear you.
** Who: [[Frederic Chopin]], Polish composer and pianist.
*** Note: He had a neurotic fear of being buried alive.
** The first quote was written on a note some hours before his death of tuberculosis.
** The second quote was spoken to his physician when asked if he was suffering greatly; he died about two hours later.
** The third quote is what Chopin reportedly murmured on his death-bed (''The opera reader'', Biancolli, 1953, p. 271).

* In keeping with the WXLT practice of presenting the most immediate and complete reports of local blood and guts news, TV-40 presents what is believed to be a television first: in living color, exclusive coverage of an attempted suicide.
** Who: [[Christine Chubbuck]], 30-year-old anchorwoman who, on July 15, 1974, during technical difficulties during a broadcast on [[w:WWSB|WXLT-TV]] in [[w:Sarasota, Florida|Sarasota, Florida]], said these words on-air before producing a revolver and shooting herself in the head (While she drew the gun on camera, the technicians quickly cut the video feed, but the gunshot could be clearly heard). She was pronounced dead in hospital fourteen hours later. Reported in Kristine Bertini, ''Understanding and Preventing Suicide: The Development of Self-Destructive Patterns and Ways to Alter Them'' (2009), p. 134 (under the mistaken surname, Hubbock).
*** Note: This quote is taken from the transcript of the tape obtained by the [https://archive.org/details/sixty90_protonmail_CC/page/n17/mode/2up Sarasota County Sheriff's Department.] Though its legitimacy is unconfirmed, audio featuring an uncanny resemblance of Chubbuck's voice reading the transcript was [https://archive.org/details/audio-of-christine-chubbucks-suncoast-digest-07-15-1974 leaked online in April of 2021.]

* I'm so bored with it all.
** Who: [[Winston Churchill]], a British statesman who was the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom
*** Note: This was spoken before slipping into a coma and dying nine days later.

* ''Nihil propriis quid facis, latro, autem non tentant recte ut interficias me.''
** Translation: There is nothing proper about what you are doing, you thug, but do try to kill me properly.
** Who: [[Cicero]], Roman statesman and orator.
*** Note: These words are directed at Herennius, his assassin by order of Marc Antony, triumvir and co-ruler of Rome. Herennius was a centurion.

* So remember, just when you think all the sounds of dogs barking, people mowing their lawns and children screaming are driving you mad, they may just be keeping you sane!
** Who: [[Dick Clark]], American radio and television personality.
*** Note: From a blog post nine days before his death. While not his last spoken words (Clark had difficulty speaking due to a stroke he experienced seven years prior), they were the last words he made to the public.[https://web.archive.org/web/20120422000616/http://dickclarkonline.com/Dick-Clark-Blog--inside-page-/4313937]

*Thomas, I am dying. Telegraph Mr. Harrison.
** Who: [[w:Henry Clay|Henry Clay]], an American lawyer and planter, politician, and skilled orator.
*** Note: Spoken to his son. Mr. Harrison appears to be J.O. Harrison, Clay's executor. (Source: &quot;The Century Magazine&quot;, vol. 33).

* Τόσο εδώ! (''Tóso edó!'')
** Translation: So here it is!
** Who: [[w:Cleopatra|Cleopatra VII Philopator]], the last active pharaoh of Ptolemaic Egypt.
*** Note: &quot;It&quot; was the small asp which she allowed to bite her.
** Historians dispute the cause of her death. Many believe it was not an asp that she used to commit suicide, but rather some makeshift poison. (Source: Stacy Schiff's ''Cleopatra: A Life'')

* I have tried so hard to do right.
** Who: [[Grover Cleveland]], 22nd and 24th President of the United States.

* Absolutely not!
** Who: [[w:Montgomery Clift|Montgomery Clift]], actor.
*** Note: His private nurse, Lorenzo James, asked him if he wanted to watch the movie ''[[w:The Misfits (film)|The Misfits]]'' (in which he appeared) on TV.

* Thank God. I'm tired of being the funniest person in the room.
** Who: [[w:Del Close|Del Close]], improviser, teacher and comedian, d. 1999.

* I love you, mama. You're the best. I'll see you in the morning.
** Who: [[w:Angus Cloud|Angus Cloud]], American actor.
*** Note: Said to his mother before she went to sleep. The following morning, she found him dead from an accidental drug overdose.&lt;ref&gt;[https://people.com/euphoria-angus-cloud-mom-loved-ones-share-final-days-addiction-struggles-exclusive-7973158/ 'Euphoria' Star Angus Cloud's Mom and Loved Ones Share His Addiction Struggles and Final Days (Exclusive)]. ''People''. Retrieved October 7, 2024.&lt;/ref&gt; 

* ...it's better to burn out than to fade away.
** Who: [[Kurt Cobain]], an American musician who was best known as the lead singer, guitarist, and primary songwriter for [[w:Nirvana (band)|Nirvana]]
*** Note: Cobain was quoting [[Neil Young]] lyrics when he wrote this line in his suicide note.&amp;nbsp; The full context of the note is available [http://kurtcobainssuicidenote.com/kurt_cobains_suicide_note_scan.html online].

* ''Depuis le jour de ma naissance, ma mort a commencé sa marche. Il marche vers moi, sans se presser.''
** Translation: Since the day of my birth, my death began its walk. It is walking towards me, without hurrying.
** Who: [[Jean Cocteau]], French writer, designer, playwright, artist and filmmaker.

* I love you all.
** Who: [[w:Natalie Cole|Natalie Cole]], an American singer-songwriter, and actress.
*** Note: Spoken to her younger twin sisters.

* I love you and my head hurts.
** Who: [[w:Gary Coleman|Gary Coleman]], an American actor, voice artist, and comedian.

* Five Zulu Alpha just had a midair. Both planes are going down in the, ah, one mile to the, ah, two miles to the west of the power plant
** Who: [[w:Bob Collins (broadcaster)|Bob Collins]], Chicago Morning DJ.
*** Note: On 8 February 2000, Collins was piloting a light aircraft into Waukegan, Illinois when his aircraft suffered a mid-air collision with another aircraft due to pilot error by Collins. Collins reported the mid-air collision before the aircraft crashed, killing both him and his passenger. The other aircraft also crashed, killing the pilot aboard. 

* Can you get a shot of this gun?
** Who: [[w:Harry Collinson|Harry Collinson]], Chief Planning Officer for Derwentside District Council.
*** Note: On 20 June 1991, Collinson was supervising the demolition of a bungalow that had been built by Albert Dryden without planning permission. After a BBC camera crew arrived, Dryden produced an unlicensed pistol, and Collinson invited the crew to focus on it. Several seconds later, Dryden opened fire, killing Collinson and injuring BBC reporter Tony Belmont and PC Stephen Campbell; the Council's solicitor, Mike Newell, was shot at four times but not injured. Dryden was subsequently arrested after a stand-off and was found guilty by a jury of murder and three counts of attempted murder, being sentenced to life imprisonment with a tariff of 13 years.

* Heaven has turned against me. No wise ruler arises, and no one in the Empire wishes to make me his teacher. The hour of my death has come.
** Who: [[Confucius]], Chinese philosopher and politician

* Lady, you shot me!
** Who: [[Sam Cooke]], lethally wounded after being shot at the Hacienda Motel (now the Star motel).

* Good morning, Robert.
** Who: [[Calvin Coolidge]], 30th President of the United States, to a carpenter working on his home.
** Coolidge is also said to have been quoted near his death: &quot;I feel I no longer fit in with these times.&quot; Coolidge, a staunch fiscal conservative and small-government federalist, was at odds with incoming President [[Franklin Delano Roosevelt]], whose New Deal marked a major expansion of the federal budget.

* ''Meine Mutter, meine gute einzige Mutter und mein kleines Hänschen, all meine Liebe ist ständig um Euch. Bleibt tapfer, wie ich es auch sein will.''
** Translation: My mother, my dear, only mother and my little Hänschen, all my love surrounds you constantly. Stay brave, just as I aspire to be.
** Who: [[w:Hilde Coppi|Hilde Coppi]], German [[w:German resistance to Nazism|resistance fighter against the Nazi regime]] and member of the [[w:Red Orchestra (espionage)|Red Orchestra]].
*** Note: Last lines Coppi wrote in a farewell letter to her mother shortly before her execution at [[w:Plötzensee prison|Plötzensee prison]]. ''Hänschen'' refers to her son Hans, born during her imprisonment.&lt;ref&gt;[https://www.bundesarchiv.de/themen-entdecken/online-entdecken/dokumente-zur-zeitgeschichte/abschiedsbrief-hilde-coppis/ „Immer deine Tochter Hilde“ – Abschiedsbrief der Widerstandskämpferin Hilde Coppi]. ''Bundesarchiv''. Retrieved November 27, 2025.&lt;/ref&gt; 

* I am guilty. My sentence is just: I deserve my fate. And may God have mercy on my soul.
** Who: [[w:Red Barn Murder|William Corder]], moments before he was hanged on August 11, 1828, for the murder of Maria Marten at the Red Barn.

* More weight.
* I curse you Corwin and all of Salem!
** Who: [[w:Giles Corey|Giles Corey]], while being crushed during the Salem witch trials because he would not answer the court.
*** Note: The first line was said while being crushed during the Salem Witch Trials for refusing to answer the court. After long hours of pain, Corey then uttered the second quote and died.

* I don't know how long I can take this.
** Who: [[w:Don Cornelius|Don Cornelius]], host of ''Soul Train''
*** Note: Before his suicide.&lt;ref&gt;{{cite web|url=http://www.tmz.com/2012/04/24/don-cornelius-autopsy-report-gunshot/|title=Don Cornelius Autopsy Report - 'I Don't Know How Long I Can Take This'|website=TMZ|date=April 24, 2012|access-date=January 8, 2018}}&lt;/ref&gt;

* I love you.
* I'm just tired.
** Who: [[Chris Cornell]], an American musician and lead singer of Soundgarden and Audioslave.
*** Note: The first line was the last thing Cornell said to his fans after performing his last song with Soundgarden at a concert. Within 60 minutes later, he was on the phone with his wife, slurring his words and repeatedly saying the second line before hanging up. He hanged himself shortly after.

*Hello. We're looking in... we're overlooking the Financial Center. Three of us. Two broken windows. OH, GOD! OH-
** Who: [[w:Kevin Cosgrove|Kevin Cosgrove]], a victim of the [[September 11 attacks]]. He was connected to a 9-1-1 dispatcher, and he said the above phrase when the South Tower collapsed after it had been hit by one of the airplanes used in the attacks.

* That was the best ice-cream soda I ever tasted.
* I think I'll be more comfortable.
** Who: [[w:Lou Costello|Lou Costello]], American actor and comedian.
*** Note: Reports vary as to whether his last words were the former to visitors upon finishing an ice-cream soda, or the latter to his nurse after asking to be moved onto his side.

*Goodnight, my darlings, I'll see you tomorrow.
** Who: [[Noel Coward]], playwright. Died of natural causes.

* No, my pain is too much, Fazila.
* I can't make it, I'm in too much pain.
** Who: [[Jo Cox]], British Labour Party politician
*** Note: Either one was spoken to her assistant, Fazila Aswat, after she tried to encourage Cox to stand after an attack. She later died of her injuries.

*It don't matter; I figure I licked the Rock anyway.
** Who: [[w:Bernard Coy|Bernard Coy]], convicted criminal, shot while trying to escape Alcatraz prison (known as &quot;The Rock&quot;)

* Goodbye, everybody.
** Who: [[Hart Crane]], spoken as he took his own life by jumping from a cruise ship. Reported in Kristine Bertini, ''Understanding and Preventing Suicide: The Development of Self-Destructive Patterns and Ways to Alter Them'' (2009), p. 134.

* Dammit, don't you dare ask God to help me!
** Who: [[w:Joan Crawford|Joan Crawford]]. 
*** Note: This comment was directed towards her housekeeper who began to pray aloud.

* That was a great game of golf, fellas. Let's get a Coke.
** Who: [[w:Bing Crosby|Bing Crosby]], American singer and actor.
*** Note: He was playing the whole 18 holes of golf, even when his doctor said to only do nine. Twenty minutes after the game, he suffered a fatal heart attack when heading back to the clubhouse.

* What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
** Who: [[Crowfoot]], chief of the Siksika First Nation.

* I am confound.
* (also quoted as I am perplexed.)
** Who: [[Aleister Crowley]]. British occultist, mystic, poet, mountain climber.
** This is open to debate, because some sources report Crowley dying alone, and others claim that he said Sometimes I hate myself. [http://www.popsubculture.com/pop/bio_project/aleister_crowley.html] [http://paranormalstories.blogspot.com/2007/06/aleister-crowley-part-ii.html]

* You sons of bitches, give my love to Mother!
** Who: [[w:Francis Crowley|Francis &quot;Two Gun&quot; Crowley]], an American murderer and career criminal.

* It's not real.
** Who: [[w:Shooting of John Crawford III|John Crawford III]]
** Note: Spoken regarding a toy gun he was holding, in the toy section of a Wal-Mart in Beavercreek, Ohio.

* ''Je ne le veux pas.''
** Translation: I don't want it.
** Who: [[w:Marie Curie|Marie Curie]], Polish and naturalized-French physicist and chemist.
*** Note: She had been offered an injection to ease her pain.

* At this moment in time I really can't go on. I just wish I were dead.
** Who: [[w:Ian Curtis|Ian Curtis]]
*** Note: This is the entirety of the suicide note Curtis, the lead singer of [[w:Joy Division|Joy Division]], left before he hanged himself in his home on 18 May 1980, two days before the band was to go on its first American tour. The other members reformed as [[w:New Order (band)|New Order]]. 

* Hurrah Boys! Let's get these last few reds then head on back to camp. Hurrah! [''Attributed'']
* We've caught them napping! [''Attributed'']
** Who: [[w:George Armstrong Custer|George Armstrong Custer]], a United States Army officer and cavalry commander in the American Civil War and, later, the Indian Wars. He said these words before the Battle of Little Bighorn, at which he and all the troops under his command were killed by a numerically superior Sioux force.

* I killed the President because he was the enemy of the good people, the good working people. I am not sorry for my crime. [''Through clenched teeth'']: I am sorry I could not see my father.
** Who: [[w:Leon Frank Czolgosz|Leon Czolgosz]], American anarchist and assassin of President William McKinley.
*** Note: He said the second line as he was being strapped on the electric chair.

=D=

* Remember, my brain goes to Boston.  Straight to Boston.
** Who: [[w:Daffney|Daffney]], professional wrestler and actress.
*** Note: Said in a live video on Instagram, reading a suicide note while holding what appeared to be a pistol, referring to the chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE) testing center on the campus of Boston University.  The following day, Daffney's death was announced; an investigation determined she had shot herself in the chest.

* You know, I'm not frightened. It's just that I'll miss you all so much... Ow, fuck!
** Who: [[Roald Dahl]], Welsh novelist, short story writer, poet, screenwriter, and fighter pilot.
*** Note: First line said to his family. He then appeared to have lost consciousness, and the nurse decided to inject him with a lethal dose of morphine to ease his passing. After she did, Dahl said the second line right before dying.

* I don't care if I live or die. Go ahead and kill me.
** Who: [[Jeffrey Dahmer]], serial killer.
*** Note: According to fellow prisoner [[Christopher Scarver]], who admitted to beating Dahmer to death with a &quot;preacher bar&quot; (part of a weight machine), these were his last words.

* ''{{lang|ca|On és el meu rellotge?}}''
** Translation: Where is my clock?
** Who: [[Salvador Dalí]], a prominent Spanish surrealist painter 

* Billie and Georgia, you are my heart. You are my everything. Good night. I love you. Those are my last words.
** Who: [[w:Eric Dane|Eric Dane]], American actor.
*** Note: Spoken on the TV series ''[[w:Famous Last Words (TV series)|Famous Last Words]]'' which features interviews with famous people that are published posthumously. At the end of the interview, Dane was left alone with the camera and delivered a farewell message to his daughters.&lt;ref&gt;[https://people.com/eric-dane-recorded-his-last-words-daughters-months-before-his-death-11910514 Eric Dane Quietly Recorded His 'Last Words' for His 2 Teenage Daughters Before His Death: 'You Are My Everything. Good Night']. People. Retrieved February 21, 2026.&lt;/ref&gt; 

* If all goes well, about a week. If not, about an hour and a half.
** Who: [[Rodney Dangerfield]], American comedian.
*** In response to how long he would be hospitalized.

* One last drink, please.
** Who: [[w:Jack Daniel|Jack Daniel]], an American distiller and businessman, the founder of the Jack Daniel's Tennessee whiskey distillery.

* ''Mon seul regret est que je parte devant ce rat, Robespierre! N'oublie pas de montrer ma tête aux gens; ça vaut le coup d'être vu.''
** Translation: My only regret is that I'm going before that rat, Robespierre! ''[to his executioner]'' Don't forget to show my head to the people; it's well worth seeing.
** Who: [[Georges Danton]], a leading figure in the early stages of the French Revolution and the first President of the Committee of Public Safety. The last line is a humorous comment on his famous ugliness.

* I am not the least afraid to die.
** Who: [[Charles Darwin]], an English naturalist and geologist, best known for his contributions to evolutionary theory.

* ואיש יגע בהם ימלא ברזל ועץ חנית ובאש שרוף ישרפו בשבת (''Ve'ish yigga bahem, yimmalei varzel ve'etz chanit; uva'esh sarof yissarefu bashavet'')
** Translation: But the man who touches them (the worthless) must be armed with iron, and the shaft of a spear, and with fire they shall be utterly burned in their place!
** Who: [[w:David|David]], third king of the [[w:United Monarchy|United Monarchy of Israel]]

* Well, first of all I'd like to address the MacPhail family. I'd like to let you all know, despite the situation -- I know all of you are still convinced that I'm the person that killed your father, your son and your brother, but I am innocent. The incident that happened that night was not my fault. I did not have a gun that night. I did not shoot your family member. But I am so sorry for your loss. I really am -- sincerely. All I can ask is that each of you look deeper into this case, so that you really will finally see the truth. I ask my family and friends that you all continue to pray, that you all continue to forgive. Continue to fight this fight. For those about to take my life, may God have mercy on all of your souls. God bless you all.
** Who: [[w:Troy Davis|Troy Anthony Davis]], high-profile death row inmate.
*** Notes: Davis was executed by lethal injection in Georgia on September 21, 2011 for the murder of Officer Mark Allen MacPhail, despite serious doubts about his guilt that lingered on prior to his death.[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/07/troy-davis-execution-last-words_n_1000648.html]

*It's good to be king. Wait, maybe. I think maybe I'm just like a little bizarre little person who walks back and forth. Whatever, you know.
** Who: [[w:Terry A. Davis|Terry A. Davis]], programmer, creator of [[w:TempleOS|TempleOS]].
*** Note: Words were spoken on his last video before being struck and killed by a Union Pacific train.

* That guy's got to stop... He'll see us.
** Who: [[w:James Dean|James Dean]], American actor. 
*** Note: Words said before dying in a car accident.

* Miss, I got what I really went for.
** Who: [[w:Jeremy Wade Delle|Jeremy Wade Delle]]
*** Note: After this troubled teenager left his Texas classroom under the pretenses of obtaining a late pass, he returned with a gun, uttered these words, and committed suicide in front of his classmates. The incident was later immortalized in the Pearl Jam song [[w:Jeremy (song)|&quot;Jeremy.&quot;]]

* ''[[w:Demetris Christofias|Hıristofyaaas]]!!! Burası bağımsız bir cumhuriyettir!!!''
** Translation: [[w:Demetris Christofias|Christofiaaass]]!! Here is an independent republic!!!
*** Who: [[w:Rauf Denktaş|Rauf Denktaş]], founder of the [[w:Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus|Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus]]

* Do you have it now?
** Who: [[w:John Denver|John Denver]]
*** Note: Spoken via cockpit radio after transmitting a four digit code. On October 12, 1997, Denver was killed when his Experimental [[w:Rutan Long-EZ|Rutan Long-EZ]] plane crashed into the Pacific Ocean near Pacific Grove, California.

*On the ground!
** Who: [[Charles Dickens]]
*** Note: He suffered a stroke on a walk near his home, and asked to be laid down on the ground.

* ''Mais comment le diable pensez-vous que cela pourrait me faire du mal?''
** Translation: But how the devil do you think this could harm me?
** Who: [[Denis Diderot]], French encyclopedist, upon being warned by his wife not to eat too much.

* Little Cousins, Called back.
** Who: [[Emily Dickinson]]. Letter to Louise and Frances Norcross, May 1886.
** Source: Johnson, Thomas H., ed. ''Emily Dickinson Selected Letters.'' Cambridge: Belknap, 1971.

* I'm going to heaven.
** Who: [[w:Bo Diddley|Bo Diddley]] as he lay dying on his deathbed with his family surrounding him.

* Damn!
** Who: James Dillard, First Officer on [[w:American Airlines Flight 191|American Airlines Flight 191]]
*** Note: During Flight 191's take-off, the engine separated. Prior to the black box failing, Dillard was heard saying these words. Shortly afterward, the plane crashed into the ground, killing all onboard including Dillard.

*You got me.
** Who: [[w:John Dillinger|John Dillinger]], infamous American bank robber.
** This may be an apocryphal quote. Dillinger died when a bullet passed through his brain, leaving him little opportunity for final speeches.

*I'll finally get to see Marilyn.
** Who: [[Joe DiMaggio]], talking about his former wife, [[Marilyn Monroe]].

* ישוע אתדכריני מריא מא דאתא אנת במלכותכן (''Yeshu eitdakrain marya ma dathei ant b'malkutach'')
** Translation: Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom
** Who: Saint Dimas, a.k.a. the [[w:Penitent thief|penitent thief]]

* Shit! Shit! Stop! No!
** Who: [[w:Murder of Kyle Dinkheller|Kyle Dinkheller]], deputy of the Laurens County Sheriff's Office, Georgia
*** Note: Said while being shot by Andrew Howard Brannan, whom he had pulled over for speeding. The enraged Brannan argued with Dinkheller and then began shooting him with an Iver Johnson M1 Carbine. Brannan fatally shot Dinkheller in the eye shortly after. The incident was caught on Dinkheller's dashcam and continues to be used to train law enforcement officers when confrontations become dangerous.

* Go, go. I'll be fine.
** Who: [[w:Ronnie James Dio|Ronnie James Dio]], heavy metal singer.
*** Note: Spoken to his wife while he was in the hospital with stomach cancer, but she stayed with him. A few days later he went into a coma and he was dead by the end of the week.

* Kurt Russell.
** Who: [[Walt Disney]]
*** Note: Scrawled on a piece of paper. To this day, nobody knows what he meant by it, not even Kurt Russell, who was 15 at the time.

* Иоанн же удерживал Его и говорил: мне надобно креститься pour Тебя, и Ты ли приходишь ко мне? Но Иисус сказал ему в ответ: оставь теперь, ибо так надлежит нам исполнить всякую правду. Услышьте это сейчас, позвольте! Не сдерживай меня! (''Ioann zhe uderzhival Yego i govoril: mne nadobno krestit'sya pour Tebya, i Ty li prikhodish' ko mne? No Iisus skazal yemu v otvet: ostav' teper', ibo tak nadlezhit nam ispolnit' vsyakuyu pravdu. Uslysh'te eto seychas, pozvol'te! Ne sderzhivay menya!'')
** Translation: But John forbad him, saying, I have need to be baptised of thee, and comest thou to me? And Jesus answering said unto him, Suffer it to be so now: for thus it becometh us to fulfil all righteousness. Hear now—permit it. Do not restrain me!
** Who: [[Fyodor Dostoyevsky]]. The majority of the quote is the verses Matthew 3:14-15.

* Mike Bloomberg can get it done.
** Who: [[Kirk Douglas]].

*Hit the water, hit the water, hit the water!
** Who: [[w:Jane Dornacker|Jane Dornacker]] as she was giving a traffic report for radio station WNBC via helicopter. The helicopter stalled and plummeted into the Hudson River while Jane was still on the air, unintentionally broadcasting her final moments all across the metropolitan New York City area. The helicopter's other occupant was seriously injured, but survived.

* Shakespeare, I come!
** Who: [[Theodore Dreiser]]. 

* I don't know why Marta Glass wasn't allowed in here. I love you all. Keep the faith. Remember the death penalty is murder. They are taking the life of an innocent man. My attorney, Ron Kuley, will read my letter at a press conference after this is over. That is all I have to say. I love you all.
** Who: Robert Drew, d. August 2, 1994.
*** Note: Executed by injection, Texas.

* ''Rufe doch den Doktor!''
** Translation: Call the doctor!
** Who: [[w:Annette von Droste-Hülshoff|Annette von Droste-Hülshoff]], German writer and composer.
*** Note: According to a letter that von Droste-Hülshoff's sister Jenny sent to her aunts, Annette had been suffering from [[w:hemoptysis|hemoptysis]] in the last weeks of her life which seemingly improved one day. After eating lunch, she complained of severe hemoptysis and asked her niece Hildegard to call her personal doctor. By the time he arrived in her room shortly thereafter, von Droste-Hülshoff had already passed away.&lt;ref&gt;[https://www.nach100jahren.de/der-letzte-brief/ Der letzte Brief]. ''Nach 100 Jahren''. Retrieved October 31, 2025.&lt;/ref&gt;    

* ''Tu vas me faire mal, s'il te plaît, ne me fais pas de mal, juste une minute de plus, je t'en supplie!''
** Translation: You are going to hurt me, please don't hurt me, just one more moment, I beg you!
** Who: [[w:Madame du Barry|Madame du Barry]]

* Do you hear the rain? Do you hear the rain?
** Who: [[w:Jessica Dubroff|Jessica Dubroff]], seven-year-old pilot speaking to her mother by telephone as the engines revved for takeoff, she (and her flight instructor) crashed minutes later in rough weather, April 11, 1996.

* ''Adieu, mes amis, Je vais à la gloire!''
** Translation: Farewell my friends, I go to glory!
** Who: [[w:Isadora Duncan|Isadora Duncan]]
*** Note: Said before she got in her car to go home. Her scarf got caught around the wheel and strangled her instantly as the driver took off. 

* Stopping for a beer, be there when I can.
** Who: [[w:Ryan Dunn|Ryan Dunn]]
*** Note: Final text sent to ''Jackass'' co-worker Bam Margera, before getting involved in a car crash that would claim his life.

* Don't, don't, don't! This... this will hurt someone! Do not...
** Who: [[w:R. Budd Dwyer|R. Budd Dwyer]], Treasurer of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, before he placed the barrel of a .357 Magnum revolver into his mouth and pulled the trigger in front of TV news cameras that were videotaping what was originally presumed to be a press conference (Dwyer had been found guilty of accepting bribes, and professed his innocence to the literal last moments of his life. The press conference was held on what was to be the day before his sentencing). William Smith (the witness whose testimony was critical to Dwyer's conviction) said he lied under oath to get a lighter sentence.

=E=
* We are running on line north and south.
** Who: [[w:Amelia Earhart|Amelia Earhart]]
*** Note: Earhart famously disappeared on a flight over the Pacific. The above is the last confirmed radio transmission to her headquarters before vanishing.

* Okay, just wondering.
** Who: [[w:Dale Earnhardt|Dale Earnhardt]], 7 time NASCAR Champion
*** Note: Radioed to Andy Pilgrim while driving caution laps with 21 laps to go in the Daytona 500, waiting for the last start in the race that took his life. 
** The rest of the conversation was as follows: Earnhardt- &quot;So, you got any advice for me here coming up?&quot;; Pilgrim- &quot;No, man, I haven't got any advice for you, just keep doing what you're doing.&quot;; Earnhardt-&quot;Okay, just wondering&quot;; Pilgrim- &quot;Cheers, talk to you later.&quot; http://www.aolnews.com/2011/02/10/ten-years-after-sharing-final-moments-and-a-drivers-seat-with/.

* ''[to his wife]'' Suppose, suppose.
** Who: [[Wyatt Earp]], American Old West gambler, a deputy sheriff in Pima County, and deputy town marshal in Tombstone, Arizona Territory, who took part in the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral

* My work is done. Why wait?
** Who: [[w:George Eastman|George Eastman]]
*** Note: Written in his suicide letter. 

* So on this day of reflection I say again, thank you for going on this journey with me. I'll see you at the movies.
** Who: [[w:Roger Ebert|Roger Ebert]]
*** Note: Final paragraph of his last public blog post, written two days before his passing.

* It's very beautiful over there.
** Who: [[Thomas Edison]]
*** Note: Spoken to his wife as he lapsed in and out of consciousness. There is debate over if he meant the afterlife, or the view from his window.

* ''In einem kurzen Weilchen, meine Herren, sehen wir uns ohnehin alle wieder. Das ist das Los aller Menschen. Es lebe Deutschland. Es lebe Argentinien. Es lebe Österreich. [...] Ich werde sie nicht vergessen.''
** Translation: In a short while, gentlemen, we'll meet each other, anyway. That's every human's fortune. Long live Germany! Long live Argentina! Long live Austria! [...] I won't forget them.
** Who: [[Adolf Eichmann]]
*** Note: Before his execution on June 1, 1962 in Jerusalem.

* ''Citater fra...''
** Who: [[Albert Einstein]]
*** Note: When Einstein died on April 18, 1955 he left a piece of writing ending in an unfinished sentence.

* Yeah, how come?
** Who: [[w:Harry Einstein|Harry &quot;Parkyakarkus&quot; Einstein]], dialect comic and character actor
** In response to a quip, made by Milton Berle  during a Friars Club roast,asking why he did not have a regular television gig at the time. Einstein slumped over into his chair and died immediately after his response.&lt;ref name=parkyakarkus_obit&gt;{{cite news|url=https://news.google.com/newspapers?id=cCxQAAAAIBAJ&amp;sjid=HVYDAAAAIBAJ&amp;pg=6968,2437293&amp;dq=milton+berle+son&amp;hl=en|title=Parky Einstein Succumbs After Pocketknife Surgery|date=25 November 1958|publisher=The Victoria Advocate|accessdate=23 January 2011}}&lt;/ref&gt;

* I've always loved my wife, my children, and my grandchildren, and I've always loved my country. I want to go. God, take me.
** Who: [[Dwight D. Eisenhower]], 34th President of the United States.

* Valerie.
** Who: [[T. S. Eliot]]
*** Note: Valerie was the name of his wife at the time of his death.

* ?מה־היה הדבר בני (''Meh-hayah haddavar beni?'')
** Translation: What happened there, my son?
** Who: [[w:Eli (biblical figure)|Eli]]
*** Note: A soldier fleeing from a battle found his way to Eli, who then asked what had happened. When the soldier told Eli the Ark of the Covenant had been captured by the Philistines, Eli fell backwards out of his chair and broke his neck.

* ''Was ist mit mir geschehen?''
** Translation: What has happened to me?
** Who: [[w:Elisabeth of Bavaria|Elisabeth, Empress of Austria]], stabbed to death on September 10, 1898.

* All my possessions for a moment of time.
** Who: [[Elizabeth I of England|Elizabeth I, Queen of England]], d. 1603.

* Are you all right?
** Who: [[w:Belinda Emmett|Belinda Emmett]], Australian actress.
*** Note: Spoken to her sister, Lesley Arthur.

* Hurrah for anarchy! This is the happiest moment of my life.
** Who: [[w:George Engel|George Engel]], anarchist, union activist
*** Note: Shouted before his execution at the gallows.

*Now why did I do that?
** Who: [[w:Sir William Erskine, 2nd Baronet|General William Erskine]] 
*** Note: Said after he jumped from a window in Lisbon, Portugal in 1813.

* ''Ich sterbe.''
** Translation: I die.
** Who: [[w:Leonhard Euler|Leonhard Euler]], Swiss mathematician and physicist.

*Fuck off.
** Who: Tony &quot;Spaghetti&quot; Eustace, Australian mobster.
*** Eustace was found by two schoolchildren who were returning home from sports training on 23 April 1985. He had been shot six times in the back outside the Airport Hilton in North Arncliffe and was lying beside his gold Mercedes, bleeding profusely. He was rushed to hospital. Police attempted to speak to him, but Eustace only said those words, and died a short time later.

=F=
* I've never felt better.
** Who: [[w:Douglas Fairbanks, Sr.|Douglas Fairbanks, Sr.]], actor, d. December 12, 1939

* We've reached one of our phase lines after the fire fight and it smells bad – meaning it's a little bit suspicious...Could be an amb–
** Who: [[w:Bernard B. Fall|Bernard B. Fall]], prominent war correspondent, historian, political scientist, and expert on Indochina during the 1950s and 1960s.
*** Notes: Dictated into his tape recorder before stepping on a landmine in Vietnam

* [''Being asked: &quot;Have you ever pondered by yourself what will be your occupation in the next world?&quot;.'']&lt;br&gt;I shall be with Christ, and that is enough.
** Who: [[Michael Faraday]],  English chemist and physicist who contributed to the fields of electromagnetism and electrochemistry.

* [Death is like] going somewhere I've never been before, like Finland or Estonia.
** Who: [[w:Barry Farber|Barry Farber]], radio host and language enthusiast.[https://newsbrig.com/conservative-talk-radio-pioneer-barry-farber-dies-at-90/6527/]

* Please don't leave me. Please don't leave me.
** Who: [[w:Chris Farley|Chris Farley]], American actor and comedian.
** Said to a prostitute as she left his hotel room following a weekend-long drug and sex binge. When she turned around, Chris Farley had collapsed.

* Why aren't you filming this? This is what cancer is.
** Who: [[w:Farrah Fawcett|Farrah Fawcett]], American actress, model, and artist.
** Note: Spoken to her friend Alana Stewart, who was filming a documentary about her struggles with cancer.

* Remember me as a revolutionary communist.
** Who: [[w:Leslie Feinberg|Leslie Feinberg]], American, butch lesbian and transgender activist, communist, and author.

* ''Fräls mig!''
** Translation: Save me! or rather, Give me salvation!
** Who: Count [[w:Count Axel von Fersen the Younger|Axel von Fersen]].
*** Note: Fersen, who was Swedish marshal of the realm, was attacked in a mob riot during the burial procession of the crown prince, whose death wrongly was blamed on Fersen. The Count called for help from the Guard, but was killed before they could do anything.

* I'd hate to die twice. It's so boring.
** Who: [[Richard Feynman]], American physicist.

* Goddamn the whole fucking world and everyone in it except you, Carlotta.
** Who: [[W.C. Fields]], American Actor and Comedian.
*** Note: &quot;Carlotta&quot; was [[w:Carlotta Monti|Carlotta Monti]], actress and Fields' mistress.

* ''Smrt fašizmu, sloboda narodu!'' ([[w:Serbo-Croatian language|Serbo-Croatian]])
**Translation: Death to fascism, freedom to the people!
** Who: [[w:Stjepan Filipović|Stjepan Filipović]], Croatian communist who led *Kolubara Company of the Valjevo Partisan Detachment* during the 1941 Partisan uprising.

* The nourishment is palatable.
** Who: [[Millard Fillmore]], 13th President of the United States.
*** Note: This was his response when his physician inquired about his food.

* Nothing soothes pain like human touch.
** Who: [[Chess]] Grandmaster [[Bobby Fischer]]
*** Note: Said while dying of kidney failure.

* I don't even know why I'm here.
** Who: [[w:Albert Fish|Albert Fish]]
*** Note: Said before execution [https://web.archive.org/web/20110608130819/http://www.prairieghosts.com/fish.html]

*If any of you have a message for the Devil, give it to me, for I am about to meet him!
** Who: [[w:Lavinia Fisher|Lavinia Fisher]], hanged for murder on February 18, 1820, while wearing her white wedding dress gown.[http://www.sonic.net/~msnyder/femvio/fem/fisher.htm]

* Good enough. They'll be fine.
** Who: [[F. Scott Fitzgerald]], Irish-American novelist and short story writer.
*** Note: His response when asked if he wanted anything besides Hershey bars.

* Hey, Jimmie! The Chimney Sweeps. Talk to the Sword. Shut up, you got a big mouth! Please come help me up, Henny. Max come over here... French Canadian bean soup... I want to pay, let them leave me alone...
** Who: Arthur Flegenheimer, mobster, also known as [[Dutch Schultz]].
*** Note: Flegenheimer had been fatally shot by another mobster and taken to the hospital. As police officers interrogated him on his deathbed, he gave them [http://home.swipnet.se/~w-40977/coolpeople/lastwords.html long and frequently incoherent answers, perhaps the most known of which is &quot;A boy has never wept...nor dashed a thousand kin&quot;] before finally dying.

* I am sorry to trouble you chaps. I don't know how you get along so fast with the traffic on the roads these days.
** Who: [[Ian Fleming]], British author and journalist.
*** Note: Spoken to the ambulance drivers.

* I can't breathe.
* Momma, I love you. Tell my kids I love them. I'm dead.
** Who: [[w:Killing of George Floyd|George Floyd]]
*** Note: The first line was repeated while Derek Chauvin, a white police officer, pressed his knee to Floyd's neck for almost nine minutes while Floyd was handcuffed face down in the street. The latter was uttered by Floyd immediately before his death.

* I've had a hell of a lot of fun and I've enjoyed every minute of it.
** Who: [[Errol Flynn]], Australian-born actor.

* Billy, I've never sung that song and feel the way I do tonight.
* I'm awful tired now, Hank. I've got to go to bed.
** Who: [[w:Red Foley|Red Foley]], American country singer
** &quot;Billy&quot; was [[w:Billy Walker (musician)|Billy Walker]], who had led a prayer of repentance for Foley earlier that night. The song Foley had sung was the gospel number &quot;Peace in the Valley.&quot; &quot;Hank&quot; was [[w:Hank Williams, Jr.|Hank Williams, Jr.]]; the words to him were the last words attributed to Foley in Williams's song &quot;I Was with Red Foley (The Night He Passed Away),&quot; and thus poetic license may have been taken.

* You can stop now; I'm already dead.
** Who: [[w:Abigail Folger|Abigail Folger]]
*** Note: Folger said this to her attackers, members of the Manson Family, after being stabbed repeatedly in the home of her friend Sharon Tate. Folger had first been injured in the house before running to the front lawn and collapsing, where she said her last words and died while being continually stabbed.

* I'll sleep well tonight.
** Who: [[Henry Ford]], founder of the Ford Motor Company.

* I don't want to leave you guys.
** Who: [[Rob Ford]], Canadian politician and businessman, and the 64th Mayor of Toronto.

* It is better to die with honour than live without it. Echo November Alpha.&quot;
** Who: [[w:Connellan air disaster|Colin Forman]]
*** Note: Forman, an immigrant from England, had been dismissed as a pilot from Connair after a previous conviction for ticket forgery was discovered. After being fired from another flight company in Wyndham, Forman vowed revenge on Connair's boss, Roger Connellan, whom he believed told the company about his conviction. In January 1977, he stole a Beechcraft 58 Baron from Wyndham, flew to the Alice Springs airfield, and broadcast this final message to ATC before deliberately flying the plane into the Connair complex. Connellan and three other people in the building were killed.

* I've been very, very busy... being ill!
** Who: [[w:Bruce Forsyth|Bruce Forsyth]], British presenter, when asked of his whereabouts in the year leading up to his demise.

* When you realize the value of all life you dwell less on what is past and concentrate on the preservation of the future.
** Who: [[Dian Fossey]], American conservationist and primatologist.
*** Note: Last lines Fossey wrote in her final journal entry. She was murdered by an unknown assailant in her cabin in [[w:Volcanoes National Park|Volcanoes National Park]] shortly thereafter.&lt;ref&gt;[https://gorillafund.org/congo/dian-fosseys-legacy-preservation-future/ Dian Fossey’s legacy: “Preservation of the future”]. ''Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund International''. Retrieved December 5, 2025.&lt;/ref&gt; 

* Hello Everyone, Today I am feeling much better after a good night, and wanted to take this opportunity of wishing you all a happy Fourth of July. Thank you all for your continued kind thoughts and prayers. A happy Independence Day to you and your loved ones. Love, Connie
** Who: [[w:Connie Francis|Connie Francis]], American singer
** Public statement she made on her social media 12 days before her death. The brief rebound in her health was short-lived; she entered a terminal decline shortly thereafter.&lt;ref&gt;{{cite news |last=Longmire |first=Becca |date=17 July 2025 |title=Inside Connie Francis' Final Days Before Her Death at Age 87 |url=https://people.com/connie-francis-inside-final-days-before-death-exclusive-11774012 |access-date=17 July 2025 |work=People}}&lt;/ref&gt;

* ''Grazie per avermi portato in piazza.''
** Translation: Thank you for bringing me back to the square.
** Who: [[Pope Francis]]
*** Note: Francis' last recorded spoken words were from the previous day, a statement of thanks to his nurse for allowing him to preside over Easter Sunday mass in his weakened state.&lt;ref name=&quot;lastwordsofpopefrancis&quot;&gt;{{Cite web |date=2025-04-22 |title=Pope Francis' final hours and gratitude for returning to the Square |url=https://www.vaticannews.va/en/pope/news/2025-04/pope-francis-his-final-calm-hours-and-the-thank-you.html |access-date=2025-04-23 |website=Vatican News |language=en}}&lt;/ref&gt;

*''Vamo que vamo, vamo junto ocupar tudo!''
* Translation: Let's go, let's occupy everything together!
** Who: [[Marielle Franco]], Brazilian activist and politician.
*** Note: At the end of a round-table discussion hosted by her, Franco said these words to the attendees. Shortly thereafter, she was [[w:Assassination of Marielle Franco|killed]] during a drive-by-shooting.&lt;ref&gt;[https://www.bbc.com/portuguese/brasil-43414709/ Os últimos momentos de Marielle Franco antes de ser morta com quatro tiros na cabeça]. ''BBC''. Retrieved November 2, 2024.&lt;/ref&gt; 

* ''Ich bin dankbar für die freundliche Behandlung während meiner Gefangenschaft und bitte Gott, mich gnädig aufzunehmen.''
** Translation: I am thankful for the kind treatment during my captivity and I ask God to accept me with mercy.
** Who: [[w:Hans Frank|Hans Frank]], German war criminal and lawyer who worked for the Nazi Party during the 1920s and 1930s, and later became Adolf Hitler's personal lawyer.
*** Note: At the gallows, Frank, one of the only two war criminals to show true remorse for his crimes during the Nuremberg trials and sentencing, quietly answered to his name and calmly said these words before he was hanged.

* A dying man can do nothing easily.
** Who: [[Benjamin Franklin]], one of the Founding Fathers of the United States. Also a leading author, printer, political theorist, politician, postmaster, scientist, inventor, civic activist, statesman, and diplomat.
*** Note: As he lay dying, his daughter suggested that if he lay on his side, he could breathe easier.

* ''Es ist gar nichts... es ist gar nichts...''
** Translation: It is nothing... it is nothing...
** Who: [[w:Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria|Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria]]
*** Note: Whispered to Count Harrach as he fell unconscious after being shot. His assassination and subsequent death triggered the outbreak of [[World War I]]. 

* ''Das gute Essen.''
** Translation: The good meal.
** Who: [[w:Frederick I of Sweden|Frederick I of Sweden]]
*** Note: He probably meant the Holy Communion although one of the king's favourite activities was to eat.

* ''Werfen Sie eine Decke über sie.''
** Translation: Throw a quilt over her.
** Who: [[Frederick II of Prussia]], who noticed his greyhound shivering and issued this order to his valet.

* ''Das ist nicht wahr! Ich werde in der Montur sterben?''
** Translation: That's not true! I'm gonna die in this suit?
** Alternatively: No, not quite naked. I shall have my uniform on.
** Who: [[w:Frederick William I of Prussia|Frederick William I]], King of Prussia from 1713 - 1740, d. 31 May, 1740

* Papa, are you proud of me?
** Who: Frederik, son of [[w:Prince Robert of Luxembourg|Prince Robert of Luxembourg]]
*** Frederik died from a congenital mitochondrial disease at the age of 22.&lt;ref&gt;{{cite news|url=https://people.com/prince-frederik-dead-luxembourg-royal-dies-at-22-from-rare-genetic-condition-11693614|title=Luxembourg's Prince Frederik Dies at 22 from Rare Genetic Condition: 'He Is My Superhero,' Says Dad Prince Robert|first=Nicholas|last=Rice|publisher=People|date=March 9, 2025|accessdate=March 9, 2025}}&lt;/ref&gt;

* ''Jeg ønsker lykke og velsignelse for alle danske hjem i det kommende år. Gud bevare Danmark.''
** Translation: I wish happiness and blessings for all Danish homes in the coming year. God preserve Denmark.
** Who: [[w:Frederik IX|Frederik IX]] of Denmark
*** Note: From his final public New Year's address on 31 December 1971, two weeks before he died.

* Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow's paper? 'French Fries'!
** Who: [[w:James French (murderer)|James French]].
*** Note: French, a convicted murderer, was sentenced to the electric chair. He shouted these words to members of the press who were to witness his execution.

* ''Sag Anna von unserem Vortrag.''
** Translation: Tell [[w:Anna Freud|Anna]] of our talk.
** Who: [[Sigmund Freud]]
*** Note: Anna was Freud's daughter. Freud had been in agony for some months due to oral cancer and had previously discussed with his physician that he wished to be euthanized rather than endure prolonged suffering.

* ''Bitte lass es.''
** Translation: Please leave it.
** Who: [[w:Werner von Fritsch|Werner von Fritsch]]

* Why fear death? It's life's greatest adventure.
** Who: [[w:Charles Frohman|Charles Frohman]], As he stood on the deck of the sinking liner [[RMS Lusitania]] with French actress [[Rita Jolivet]], he quoted this line from his friend, [[J.M. Barrie]]'s &quot;Peter Pan&quot; on the 7th May 1915 at 14:28pm.
*** Note: Charles Frohman was standing on deck when the torpedo struck the RMS Lusitania, and 18 minutes later, he was dragged under with the ship by the suction. During then, he saw Rita Jolivet on deck and asked her to hold on to the rail until they knew what to do. His friends escaped and so did Rita, but Charles was among the 1198 people who perished in the disaster.

* She is squeezing my hand!
** Who: [[Buckminster Fuller]]
*** Note: In the period leading up to his death, his wife had been lying comatose in a Los Angeles hospital, dying of cancer. It was while visiting her there that he exclaimed, at a certain point: &quot;She is squeezing my hand!&quot; He then stood up, suffered a heart attack and died an hour later. His wife died 36 hours after he did.

* Just kill me and get this over with!
** Who: [[w: Murder of Junko Furuta|Junko Furuta]]
*** Note: Said to her killers after they were done torturing her for days on end.

=G=
* I love you.
** Who: [[Zsa Zsa Gabor]]

* Kiss my ass! You'll never find the rest!
** Who: [[John Wayne Gacy]]
*** Note: Gacy's last words before being executed by lethal injection. The &quot;rest&quot; refers to the bodies of his other victims, which indeed were all found.

* !لا تطلق النار لي! لا تطلق النار لي (''la tutliq alnaar li! la tutliq alnaar li!'')
* !لا تقتلني يا أبنائي (''la taqtulani ya 'abnayiy!'')
* ماذا فعلت لك؟ هل تعرف الحق من الخطأ؟ (''madha fa'alt lak? hal ta'rif alhaqa min alkhata?'')
* !ماذا تفعل؟ حرام.  لا يسمح به في الشريعة الإسلامية. حرام. ما تفعلونه ممنوع في الإسلام (''madha taf'alu? haram. la yasmah bih fi alshari'at al'iislamiat. haram. ma taf'alunah mamnu' fi al'iislam!'')
** Translation:
* Don't shoot me! Don't shoot me!
* Don't kill me, my sons!
* What did I do to you? Do you know right from wrong?
* What are you doing? It's haraam [forbidden]. It's not allowed in Islamic law. Haraam. What you are doing is forbidden in Islam!
** Who: [[Muammar Gaddafi]]
*** Note: All of the above were allegedly heard as Gaddafi was dragged through the streets. As of the 23rd of October 2011, there is no officially accepted version of the death of Gaddafi.

* Полётное задание выполнено. Запрашиваю разрешение на посадку. (''Polëtnoe zadanie vypolneno. Zaprašivaju razrešenie na posadku.'')
** Translation:
* The flight task is complete. Requesting permission to land.
** Who: [[Yuri Gagarin]]
*** Note: Gagarin's last radio transmission which occurred 55 seconds before his training jet crashed, killing him and his flight instructor.

* I'd like to thank my family for loving me and taking care of me. And the rest of the world can kiss my ass.
** Who: Johnny Frank Garrett, Sr., d. February 11, 1992
*** Note: Executed by injection, Texas.

* Баатар! Жинхэнэ баатар! (''Bataar! Jinkhene baatar!'')
* Миний төгсгөлийг чамаас гуйхгүй, ямар ч шалтгаангүйгээр битгий уйлж, дуулгавартай байгаарай, дайсан минь миний үхлээс сэрэмжлүүлцгээе.  (''Minii tögsgöliig chamaas guikhgüi, yamar ch shaltgaangüigeer bitgii uilj, duulgavartai baigaarai, daisan mini minii ükhlees seremjlüültsgeeye.'')
** Translation:
* Hero! A real hero!
* Let not my end disarm you, and on no account weep or keen for me, lest the enemy be warned of my death.
** Who: [[Genghis Khan]]
*** Note: The first set of words were presumably Genghis Khan's last words according to legend, while the second set were supposed to have been spoken after he fell ill as his forces approached the Tangut capital of Ningxia.

* ''Ne pleure pas, Alfred ! J'ai besoin de tout mon courage pour mourir à vingt ans !''
** Translation: Don't cry, Alfred! I need all my courage to die at twenty!
** Who: Mathematician [[w:Evariste Galois|Evariste Galois]]
*** Note: Spoken to his brother Alfred after being fatally wounded in a duel.

* चिंता मत करो, आराम करो! (''chinta mat karo, aaraam karo!'')
** Translation: Don't worry, relax!
** Who: [[w:Rajiv Gandhi|Rajiv Gandhi]], Prime Minister of India
*** Note: To his security staff, allowing the suicide bomber to go near him as if to give flowers.

* हे राम!  (''Hé Ram!'')
** Translation: O God!
** Who: [[Mohandas Gandhi]]
*** Note: These words were reportedly spoken after Gandhi had been shot. According to his assassin Godse, Gandhi &quot;just made a 'Uh ...' kind of sound and slid down&quot;. The above words were inserted by the Congress.

* [''To his chief of staff, [[w:David G. Swaim|David G. Swaim]]''] Oh Swaim, there is a pain here. Swaim, can't you stop this? Oh, oh, Swaim!
** Who: [[James A. Garfield]], 20th President of the United States. As quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=UzEYAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA573&amp;dq=%22swaim+there+is+a+pain%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=Kb4GVcaIAcjDggSYiYOoCQ&amp;ved=0CB4Q6AEwAA#v=onepage&amp;q=%22swaim%20there%20is%20a%20pain%22&amp;f=false &quot;The Last Hours&quot;], ''Life of President Garfield: The Complete Record of a Wonderful Career'' (1881), by William Ralston Balch, p. 573.

* I can't breathe!
** Who: [[w:Death of Eric Garner|Eric Garner]]
*** Note: Said while officer Daniel Pantaleo put him in a chokehold and slammed onto the ground. After a few seconds, Pantaleo uses his hands to push Garner's head down on the sidewalk. As Pantaleo removed his arm from Garner's neck, he said the above line eleven times before going unconscious.

* Save my son first!
** Who: [[w:Shad Gaspard|Shad Gaspard]], professional wrestler and actor.
*** Note: Said to a lifeguard at Venice Beach, who tried to rescue Gaspard and his 10-year old son after a rip current had swept them both to sea, insisting that his son be rescued first.  The lifeguard was able to rescue his son, but Gaspard was pushed back down under a wave shortly afterwards, disappearing until his body was found three days later washed up on the shore.

* I don't want to lay down!
** Who: [[w:Hank Gathers|Hank Gathers]], college basketball player
*** Note: Gathers collapsed during a tournament game between the Loyola Marymount Lions and Portland Pilots and was later pronounced dead at a nearby hospital. His death was attributed to a heart condition.

* ''Ça fait mal là.'' / ''Ça fait mal ici.''
** Translation: I feel pain here.
** Who: [[Charles de Gaulle]], French leader.

* व्अय्अध्अम्म्आ स्अङख्आर्आ अप्प्अम्आद्एन्अ स्अम्प्आद्एथ्आ (''vayadhammā saṅkhārā appamādena sampādethā'')
** Translation: All compounded things are subject to vanish. Strive with earnestness.
** Who: [[w:Buddha|Siddhārtha Gautama]], a.k.a. the Buddha

* I got what I wanted... I couldn't do it myself, so I had him do it... it's good, I ran my race, there's no more left in me.
** Who: [[Marvin Gaye]]
*** Note: Moments earlier, Gaye was fatally shot by his father, Marvin Gay, Sr.

* Fifty-fifty.
** Who: [[Lou Gehrig]]
*** Note: Mouthed these words to his wife Eleanor.

* Goddamn you!
** Who: [[George V of the United Kingdom|King George V of the United Kingdom]]
*** Note: Alleged last words, after his nurse administered a sedative.  [[w:Bertrand Dawson, 1st Viscount Dawson of Penn|Lord Bertrand Dawson]], the royal physician, had given a poor prognosis of the king's worsening bronchitis, and decided to euthanize George V so that his death would reach the press in time for the morning news. George V himself adamantly protested, hence his fervent dying words. Neither [[w:Mary of Teck|Queen Mary]] or [[w:Edward VIII|Edward VIII]], George's wife and son, were consulted.

* [[Fred Astaire]]
** Who: [[George Gershwin]]

* There'll always be a Meersman.
** Who: [[w:Gary Gilmore|Gary Gilmore]]
** Before his execution by firing squad in Utah on January 17, 1977. This was first execution in the United States after 10-years moratorium
**After being asked for any last words, Gilmore simply replied, &quot;Let's do it.&quot; The Rev. Thomas Meersman, the Roman Catholic prison chaplain, imparted Gilmore's last rites. After the prison physician cloaked him in a black hood, Gilmore uttered his last words to the Father Meersman:&lt;br&gt;Gary: Dominus vobiscum (Latin translation: &quot;The Lord be with you.&quot;)&lt;br&gt;Meersman: Et cum spiritu tuo (&quot;And with your spirit&quot;)&lt;br&gt;Gary (grinning): There'll always be a Meersman.&lt;br&gt;TIME Magazine, ed. &quot;[http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,918639,00.html After Gilmore, Who's Next to Die]&quot;, Time Magazine 31 Jan. 1977. Time.com. TIME Magazine Publisher: Time Inc. Web. 23 July 2009.

* Take her down!
** Who: [[w:Howard W. Gilmore|Howard W. Gilmore]]
*** Note: Gilmore was a submarine commander who chose to stay above water after his vessel inadvertently rammed a Japanese convoy ship and began to list. Grievously wounded, he commanded his crew to leave him behind and get below, and was assumedly swept out to sea as the submarine dove to take cover.  

*My most fervent wish is that I will not be replaced until a new president is installed.
**Who: [[Ruth Bader Ginsburg]]
***Note: Dictated to her granddaughter.&lt;ref name=&quot;rbg&quot;&gt;{{Cite web |url=https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2020/09/ruth-bader-ginsburg-rbg-dying-wish.html |last=Stahl |first=Jeremy |date=September 18, 2020 |accessdate=September 18, 2020 |work={{W|Slate (magazine)|Slate}} |lang=en-US |title=RBG's Dying Words: 'My Most Fervent Wish Is That I Not Be Replaced Until a New President Is Installed'}}&lt;/ref&gt;  Despite her wishes, her Supreme Court seat was reappointed under the incumbent president at the time of her death.

* I'd rather be fishing.
** Who: [[w:Jimmy L. Glass|Jimmy L. Glass]]
*** Note: Before his execution in Louisiana electric chair, 1987

* I always knew what I was doing.
** Who: [[w:Jackie Gleason|Jackie Gleason]]
*** Note: to [[w:Audrey Meadows|Audrey Meadows]], via telephone, according to Meadows' book ''Love, Alice: My Life as a Honeymooner.'' Gleason died a week later on June 24, 1987.

* Well, I hope Percy ain't going to forget to wet the sponge. Put me on the highway to Jackson and call my Irish buddies. ''Póg mo thóin'', God bless.
** Who: [[w:Robert Gleason (murderer)|Robert Gleason]]
*** Note: Said before execution. &quot;Póg mo thóin&quot; is Irish for &quot;Kiss my arse&quot;.

* ''Grazie, di tutto.''
**Translation: Thank you for everything.
** Who: [[w:Carlo Gnocchi|Blessed Father Carlo Gnocchi]]

* I-I don't know- I don't know nobody by that name!
** Who: [[w:Shooting of Robert Godwin|Robert Godwin Sr.]]
*** Note: Godwin Sr. had been randomly chosen by shooter Steve Stephens, who asked if Godwin Sr. could say &quot;Joy Lane&quot; (Stephens' girlfriend's name) and that she was the reason he was going to kill him. Perplexed, Godwin Sr. stated his last words immediately before being shot dead. Stephens filmed the entire incident and uploaded it to Facebook. He committed suicide by gunshot after being chased down by police two days later.

* ''Mehr Licht.''
** Translation: More light.
** Who: [[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]]
** It is also reported that &quot;Come my little one, and give me your hand.&quot; were the last words he declared to his daughter-in-law Ottilie.
** Another version reported is &quot;Nichts mehr&quot; (nothing more)

* No! I didn't come here to make a speech. I came here to die.
** Who: Crawford Goldsby, aka ''Cherokee Bill'', when asked if he had anything to say before he was hanged.

*I don't know.
** Who: [[w:Jerry Goldsmith|Jerry Goldsmith]]

* New york, new york. Big city of dreams, but everything in new york aint always what it seems. (sent via Twitter account on 25 August 2009)
** Who: [[w:Adam Goldstein|Adam Goldstein]] (aka &quot;DJ AM&quot;)
*** Note: He was found dead in his apartment three days later on 28 August 2009 after friends called police when they were unable to contact him for several days. While it is not known to be his last words, this was his last contact with friends and family.
*** These are lyrics from a song by [[w:Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five|Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five]].

* That's fine, dude, I'm not mad at you.
** Who: [[w:Killing of Renee Good|Renee Good]]
*** Note: Good was sitting in her car, which was stopped sideways on the street, when she said these words to [[w:United States Immigration and Customs Enforcement|ICE]] agent Jonathan Ross who was filming her with a phone camera and walking around the car. A few moments later, as she reversed and began driving away, she was fatally shot by him.&lt;ref&gt;[https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/jan/09/ice-agent-minneapolis-bodycam-footage Renee Nicole Good said 'I'm not mad at you' before ICE agent shot her, video shows]. The Guardian. Retrieved January 16, 2026.&lt;/ref&gt; 

*This is taking a long time.
** Who: [[w:David Goodall (botanist)|David Goodall]], Australian botanist, just after administering his own lethal injection as part of a physician assisted suicide at the age of 104. 

* Do your best while you're still on this beautiful Planet Earth that I look down upon from where I am now. God bless you all.
** Who: [[Jane Goodall]], English primatologist and anthropologist.
*** Note: Spoken on the TV series ''[[w:Famous Last Words (TV series)|Famous Last Words]]'' which features interviews with famous people that are published posthumously.&lt;ref&gt;[https://janegoodall.ca/our-stories/dr-jane-goodall-leaves-behind-her-last-words/ Dr. Jane Goodall leaves behind her last words]. Jane Goodall Institute. Retrieved October 6, 2025.&lt;/ref&gt; 

* 馬鹿者！馬鹿者！ (''Bakamono! Bakamono!!'')
**(also quoted as ''Bakayaro! Bakayaro!'')
** Translation: Idiots! Idiots!
** Who: Admiral [[w:Aritomo Gotō|Aritomo Gotō]]'s last words to his staff, believing to have been hit by friendly fire, October 11, 1942

* I really need a therapist.
** Who: Christopher Grace, an actor who killed himself during a matinee performance of ''Grease''.

* We must get them into the boats. We must get them all into the boats.
** Who: [[w:Archibald Gracie IV|Archibald Gracie IV]], survivor of the [[w:Sinking of the Titanic|sinking of the RMS ''Titanic'']] on 15 April 1912, who died less than eight months later.
*** Note: Attributed to a ''[[The New York Times|New York Times]]'' obituary.

* ''Criei uma bandeira da dignidade do esporte. Eu supervisiono o nome da minha família com carinho, nervos e sangue constantes.''
** Translation: I created a flag from the sport's dignity. I oversee the name of my family with affection, steady nerves and blood.
** Who: [[w:Hélio Gracie|Hélio Gracie]], co-founder of Gracie Jiu-Jitsu, or modern-day [https://www.attacktheback.com Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu].

* Water.
** Who: [[Ulysses S. Grant]], 18th President of the United States
*** Note: Suffering from throat cancer, Grant could not speak much, but shortly before his death he wrote what is also sometimes considered his last words: &quot;There was never one more willing to go than I am.&quot;

* ''Vel, hvis det må være slik.''
** Translation: Well, if it must be so.
** Who: [[w:Edvard Grieg|Edvard Grieg]], a Norwegian composer and pianist.

* I did not get my Spaghetti-O's, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.
** Who: [[w:Thomas J. Grasso|Thomas J. Grasso]], d. March 20, 1995
*** Note: Executed by lethal injection, Oklahoma.

* It's stopped.
** Who: [[w:Joseph Henry Green|Joseph Henry Green]]
*** Note: Said upon checking his own pulse.

* ''Schnell.''
** Translation: Hurry.
** Who: [[w:Irma Grese|Irma Grese]]
*** Note: Spoken to her executioner, [[Albert Pierrepoint]] seconds before she was hanged.

* Lord, into thy hands I commend my spirit!
** Who: [[w:Lady Jane Grey|Lady Jane Grey]]

* The first one was easy!
** Who: David Grundman
*** Note: Spoken to roommate James Suchochi after shooting down a small saguaro cactus in February, 1982, in the Arizonan desert. Grundman began shooting at a larger saguaro from close range immediately after. One arm of the cactus detached and pinned Grundman to the ground, and the rest of the cactus collapsed on him, killing him almost instantly.

* ''Sé que estas aquí para matarme. Dispara, cobarde, solo vas a matar a un hombre.''
** Translation: I know you are here to kill me. Shoot, coward, you are only going to kill a man.
** Who: [[Che Guevara]].

* ''Au moins, je meurs célèbre.''
** Translation: At least I die famous.
** Who: [[w:Albert Guay|Albert Guay]]
*** Note: Before being executed for bombing a passenger flight.

* Glory hallelujah! I am with the Lord, Glory, ready, go!
** Who: [[w:Charles Guiteau|Charles Guiteau]], assassin of US President James A. Garfield, hanged in 1882

* Nobody shot me.
* I ain't no copper.
** Who: [[w:Frank Gusenberg|Frank &quot;Tight Lips&quot; Gusenberg]], American mobster murdered as part of the [[w:Saint Valentine's Day massacre|Saint Valentine's Day massacre]].&lt;ref&gt;{{cite book|last1=Yenne|first1=Bill|title=Chicago Haunts: Ghostlore of the Windy City|date=1998|publisher=Lake Claremont Press|isbn=ISBN 0-964-24267-2|page=125}}&lt;/ref&gt; 
*** Note: In response to a police officer who asked &quot;Who shot you?&quot; Contrary to his statement, Gusenberg had been shot 14 times.

* And now for a final word from our sponsor...
** Who: [[w:Charles Gussman|Charles Gussman]], a television writer who wrote for the soap opera ''Days of Our Lives''.

* What's that?!
** Who: Joakim Gustafsson, [[w:Linate Airport disaster|Scandinavian Airlines Flight 686]] pilot
*** Note: Said when he saw a Cessna plane on the runway at Linate Airport in Milan, Italy just as about he was to take off. The plane collided with the Cessna and it then crashed into an airport hangar, killing all on board both planes plus 4 people inside the hangar.

* ''Ich bin der König von Schweden - gewesen.''
** Translation: I was the king of Sweden. [Note: The German perfect of &quot;be,&quot; &quot;I have been,&quot; is constructed with a finite form of &quot;be&quot; (here &quot;bin&quot;) and its participle (&quot;gewesen&quot;). Without &quot;gewesen&quot; at the end, one would translate &quot;I am the king of Sweden.&quot; Thus the weight of the sentence rests on an untranslatable bit of grammatical cleverness. Literally translated into English, the quote would be &quot;I am the king of Sweden - was.&quot; An equivalent English phrasing in meaning would be &quot;I am the king of Sweden... no more&quot;.]
** Who: [[w:Gustavus Adolphus|Gustavus II Adolphus]] of Sweden
*** Note: Said to an imperial soldier at the battle of Lützen.

* ''Jag känner mig sömnig, ett kort ögonblicks vila skulle göra mig gott.''
** Translation: I feel sleepy, a short time of rest would do me good.
** Who: [[w:Gustavus III|Gustavus III of Sweden]]. He had been shot at a masquerade ball two weeks earlier.

* You can get anything you want at Alice's restaurant.
** Who: [[w:Woody Guthrie|Woody Guthrie]]
*** Note: This quote is a best guess. Woody's son, [[w:Arlo Guthrie|Arlo]], had delivered a demonstration copy of his song &quot;[[w:Alice's Restaurant|Alice's Restaurant Massacree]]&quot; to his father on his deathbed. According to a Guthrie family &quot;joke,&quot; Guthrie was listening to the recording when he died.

* Yes, it's tough, but not as tough as doing comedy.
** Who: [[w:Edmund Gwenn|Edmund Gwenn]], actor, d. September 6, 1959
*** Note: When asked if he thought dying was tough.

=H=

* ''Lat det være, Marie – jeg dør nu.''
** Translation: Leave it be, Marie – I'm dying now.
** Who: [[w:Knut Hamsun|Knut Hamsun]]
*** Note: To his wife, Marie, when she attempts to correct his pillow. Knut Hamsun slept the last two days of his life, with his wife by his side.

* I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.
** Who: [[Nathan Hale]], American spy, hanged in 1776, according to the account by [[w:William Hull|William Hull]] based on reports by [[w:John Montresor|John Montresor]]. This has also been quoted as: I only regret that I have but one life to give for my country. Some speculation exists that he might have been repeating or paraphrasing lines from [[w:Joseph Addison|Joseph Addison]]'s play ''Cato'': What pity is it that we can die but once to serve our country.

* Southerly gales, squalls, lee rail under water, wet bunks, hard tack, bully beef, wish you were here — instead of me!
** Who: [[Richard Halliburton]], last known communication from the Chinese junk ''Sea Dragon'' at sea, March 23 1939

*I'm gonna put you on fourteen-seven and that'll give you-
*Oh shit!
** Who: Frank Halpin, Captain of Flying Tiger Line Flight 66
*** Notes: Halpin was the Captain on [[w:Flying Tiger Line Flight 66|Flying Tiger Line Flight 66]] when it crashed into a hill on approach to Kuala Lumpur on February 19 1989 killing all four on board. The first line was regarding the settings for an Instrument landing system approach, which are his last confirmed words. In the final seconds of the flight, a voice declared the second line and it is unclear whether it was Halpin or the First Officer on realizing they were about to crash.

* This is a mortal wound, doctor. [''to Dr. David Hosack''] [''And then, to his wife''] Remember, my Eliza, you are a Christian. 
*If they break this Union, they will break my heart.
** Who: [[Alexander Hamilton]]
*** Notes: Spoken after being shot by [[Aaron Burr]] in a [[W:duel|duel]], The 3rd quote is his actual final words before passing away from his injuries according to Ron Chernow's biography on Alexander Hamilton.

* Sleep well, my sweetheart. Please don't worry too much.
** Who: [[w:Rob Hall|Rob Hall]], lead guide of the disastrous [[w:1996 Everest disaster|1996 Mount Everest expedition]]. Said to his wife via satellite phone as he lay dying from exposure.

* ''Liberemus diuturna cura populum Romanum, quando mortem senis exspectare longum censent.''
** Translation: Let us ease the Roman people of their continual care, who think it long to await the death of an old man.
** Who: [[Hannibal Barca|Hannibal]]

* That's good. Go on, read some more.
** Who: [[Warren G. Harding]], 29th President of the United States, to his wife, who was reading him flattering newspaper accounts. He died of a heart attack moments later.

* I love you.
** Who: [[w:Oliver Hardy|Oliver Hardy]]
*** Note: Spoken to his wife.

* ''Tout est une illusion.''
** Translation: Everything is an illusion.
** Who: [[w:Mata Hari|Mata Hari]]
*** Note: Spoken to a visitor before she faced a firing squad. The words reflect the Eastern mysticism which had long fascinated her.

* Where is Aunt Jetty? Hope she didn't run out on me...
** Who: [[w:Jean Harlow|Jean Harlow]], who died on June 6, 1937

* ''Und ich habe Deutschland so geliebt.''
** Translation: And I loved Germany so much.
** Who: [[w:Mildred Harnack|Mildred Harnack]], American literary historian and translator
*** Note: Harnack, who had lived in Germany since 1929, said these words shortly before being executed at [[w:Plötzensee Prison|Plötzensee Prison]] for her activities in the [[w:German resistance to Nazism|anti-Nazi resistance]].&lt;ref&gt;[https://www.faz.net/aktuell/feuilleton/debatten/das-vermaechtnis-der-widerstandskaempferin-mildred-harnack-18951674.html/ Das verschwundene Buch aus Plötzensee]. ''Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung''. Retrieved October 8, 2024.&lt;/ref&gt;  

* If I die, I hope you guys turn this into a memecoin.
** Who: Arnold Robert Haro
*** Note: from a livestream in which Haro committed suicide. Multiple memecoins, speculative tokens primarily used for pump-and-dump schemes, were indeed created based on the incident shortly thereafter.&lt;ref&gt;Khalili, Joel. [https://www.wired.com/story/livestreamed-tragedy-x-memecoin-frenzy/?utm_source=firefox-newtab-en-us A Livestreamed Tragedy on X Sparks a Memecoin Frenzy]. Wired. March 20, 2025. Retrieved March 23, 2025.&lt;/ref&gt;

* One! Two! Three!
** Who: [[w:Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold|Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold]], perpetrators of the [[w:Columbine High School massacre|Columbine High School massacre]], just before committing suicide by gunshot

* It was the food! Don't touch the food!
** Who: [[w:Richard Harris|Richard Harris]], actor.
*** Note: Spoken to fellow hotel guests, as he was wheeled through the foyer by paramedics.

* You can be a king or a street sweeper, but everyone dances with the Grim Reaper.
** Who: [[w:Robert Alton Harris|Robert Alton Harris]], before his execution on April 21, 1992.
*** His last words are a misquote of a line in the 1991 film [[Bill &amp; Ted's Bogus Journey]]: &quot;You might be a king or a little street sweeper but sooner or later you dance with the reaper.&quot;

* Are the doctors here? Doctor, my lungs...
** Who: [[Benjamin Harrison]], 23rd president of the United States. He died of pneumonia.

* Love one another.
* Do you want me to come with you?
** Who: [[George Harrison]], who died from cancer on November 29, 2001. The first set of words were the last he said to his wife and son, the second were the last he said to his [[Beatles]] band mate [[Ringo Starr]], jokingly in response to Ringo stating he would go to visit his sick daughter. 

* Sir, I wish you to understand the true principles of the government. I wish them carried out. I ask nothing more.
** Who: [[William Henry Harrison]], 9th President of the United States and the first to die in office.
*** Note: He spoke those words to his doctor, which were intended for Vice President John Tyler.

* Look out!
** Who: [[w:Owen Hart|Owen Hart]], professional wrestler
*** Note: Hart died at the [[w:WWE|World Wrestling Federation's]] 1999 [[w:Over the Edge (1999)|Over the Edge]] pay-per-view event at [[w:Kemper Arena|Kemper Arena]], when a stunt that he was involved in had gone wrong.  He was supposed to descend to the ring from the rafters above while wearing the costume of the Blue Blazer, a tongue-in-cheek superhero parody gimmick.  The already-controversial rigging equipment being used had malfunctioned (possibly by a triggered quick-release mechanism while Hart was adjusting himself), and he fell 78 feet on to the top rope of the wrestling ring.  His official cause of death was blunt-force trauma, with his aorta being severed, causing him to bleed to death.  WWF was widely criticized for both shopping around for a rigging company that would perform the stunt (after already being told by the first company that they had consulted that that particular variation of the stunt was too dangerous), and for [[w:The show must go on|continuing the event]] after Hart's death.
 
* Gentlemen, I bid you farewell...
** Who: [[w:Wallace Hartley|Wallace Hartley]], to his fellow band mates before the Titanic sank, April 15, 1912.
*** Note: One survivor who clambered aboard Collapsible A distinctly heard Hartley say these words before he and the band were swept off the deck by the sea.

* Be brave! Be determined! Overcome the odds! It can be done!
** Who: [[Stephen Hawking]]

* ''Kinder werden getröstet, mir geht es gut.''
** Translation: Children be comforted, I am well.
** Who: [[Joseph Haydn]]
*** Note: Haydn's last words, as Napoleon's troops lay siege upon Vienna.

* I know that I am going where Lucy is.
** Who: [[Rutherford B. Hayes]], 19th President of the United States, speaking of his late wife

* Critter five-ninety-two, we need the, uh, closest airport available.
** Who: First Officer [[w:Richard Hazen|Richard Hazen]], ValuJet 592, last recorded words before crashing into the Everglades due to in-flight fire on May 11, 1996.

* Well, I've had a happy life.
** Who: [[William Hazlitt]]

* ''Noli timere''
** Translation: Do not be afraid
** Who: [[Seamus Heaney]], Irish poet and Nobel Laureate
*** Note: Texted to his wife, Marie, minutes before dying.

* Be inspired.
** Who: [[w:Heavy D|Heavy D]], American rapper.
*** Note: Final tweet sent before collapsing outside his Beverly Hills home in 2011. [http://xfinity.comcast.net/slideshow/entertainment-lastwords/2/]

* ''Nur du hast mich jemals verstanden. ...und du hast es falsch gemacht.''
** Translation: Only you have ever understood me. ... And you got it wrong.
** Who: [[Georg Friedrich Wilhelm Hegel]], to his favorite student.

* ''Dieu me pardonnera, c'est son métier.''
** Translation: God will forgive me. It is his profession.
** Who: [[Heinrich Heine]]

*Goodnight, my kitten.
** Who: [[Ernest Hemingway]]
*** Note: Spoken to his wife before committing suicide.

* The story of life is quicker than the blink of an eye, the story of love is hello and goodbye, until we meet again.
** Who: [[Jimi Hendrix]]
*** Note: Said in a poem found next to him on his deathbed. The following was the final sentence in the poem.

* ''Je ne m'occupe plus de ça.''
** Translation: I care for nothing, anymore.
** Who: [[w:Henry II of England|Henry II]], king of England
*** Note: Last words are also reported as ''Honte. Honte à un roi vaincu!'' (&quot;Shame, shame on a defeated king!&quot;)

* ''Ich tōcnāwe ich dīeġe in þis caumbre, and departe þis līf for Jherusalem''
** Translation: I know I will die in this chamber, and depart this life for Jerusalem.
** Who: [[w:Henry IV of England|Henry IV]], king of England

* Turn up the lights— I don't want to go home in the dark.
** Who: [[O. Henry]] (William Sydney Porter), June 5, 1910

* Here is a book worth more than all the other books which were ever printed; yet it is my misfortune never to have, till lately, found the time to read it with proper attention and feeling.
** Who: [[Patrick Henry]], American attorney, orator and Founding Father.
*** Note: Shortly before he died in his home, a friend saw him reading the Bible, and he replied with these words.

* I trust in the merits of Christ. All is lost! Monks, Monks, Monks! So, now all is gone - Empire, Body, and Soul!
** Who: [[Henry VIII of England|Henry VIII]], King of England
*** Note: Perhaps in reference to the monks he caused to be evicted during the dissolution of the monasteries.

* Maybe I'm dying.
** Who: [[Jim Henson]], American puppeteer and filmmaker, creator of [[The Muppets]].

* Enough already.
** Who: [[w:William Herrick|William Herrick]], writer

* And now, I am officially dead.
** Who: [[w:Abram S. Hewitt|Abram S. Hewitt]], American industrialist. He had just removed the oxygen tube from his mouth in the hospital.

* Can you believe this crap?
** Who: [[w:Jon-Erik Hexum|John-Erik Hexum]]
*** Note: Hexum was napping on the set of ''Cover Up'' during a delay in the filming of an episode. When told that there was going to be more delays, he jokingly said the line above before shooting himself with a gun filled with blanks that was meant for a scene in the episode. The blast fractured his skull and caused a massive brain hemorrhage. He was declared brain dead six days later.

* If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention.
** Who: [[w:Heather Heyer|Heather Heyer]]
*** Note: On 12 August 2017, the 32 year old Charlottesville, Virginia paralegal was among the counter-protesters demonstrating at the [[w:2017 Unite the Right rally|2017 Unite the Right rally]] which included members of white supremacist, white nationalist, alt-right, neo-Confederate, neo-Nazi, and militia movements protesting against the removal of Confederate monuments and memorials from public spaces. A car, driven by James Alex Fields, Jr., rammed a crowd of counter-protesters, killing Heyer and injuring 19 others. While her last spoken words are not known, the statement recognized as her last was her final posting on her Facebook account on the day of the demonstration.

* I've said all that I've had to say.
** Who: [[Bill Hicks]], American comedian
*** Note: Hicks did not die until 11 days later, but he quit speaking after saying this.

* Forty-five...
** Who: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graham%20Hill Graham Hill], British racing driver.
*** Note: Hill was piloting a light aircraft, callsign &quot;Forty-five Yankee&quot; when he it crashed into a golf course shortly before landing in bad weather. Owing to the fact his final radio broadcast abruptly cut off midway through giving the callsign, investigators believed the aircraft had crashed in the process of giving his message. It is believed Hill misunderstood his distance from the airport and began a premature descent.

* Goodbye Bill. I die like a true blue rebel. Don't waste any time in mourning. Organize.
** Who: [[Joe Hill]], in a letter to Bill Haywood, leader of the Industrial Workers of the World, before he was led to his execution by firing squad.
** It should be noted, however, that after he heard the words of the executioner, &quot;Ready... aim...&quot; Hill shouted out his actual final word as a command: Fire! [http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A676361]

* Leave the shower curtain on the inside of the tub.
** Who: [[w:Conrad Hilton|Conrad Hilton]] when asked if he had any last words of wisdom.

* ''Ich bin Heinrich Himmler.''
** Translation: I am Heinrich Himmler.
** Who: [[Heinrich Himmler]], German Nazi politician, police administrator, and military commander

* One never knows the ending. One has to die to know exactly what happens after death, although Catholics have their hopes.
** Who: [[Alfred Hitchcock]], English film director and producer

* Capitalism. Downfall.
** Who: [[Christopher Hitchens]], English-American author.

* ''Ich selbst und meine Gattin wählen, um der Schande des Absetzens oder der Kapitulation zu entgehen, den Tod. Es ist unser Wille, sofort an der Stelle verbrannt zu werden, an der ich den größten Teil meiner täglichen Arbeit im Laufe eines zwölfjährigen Dienstes an meinem Volke geleistet habe.''
* ''Vor allem verpflichte ich die Führung der Nation und die Gefolgschaft zur peinlichen Einhaltung der Rassegesetze und zum unbarmherzigen Widerstand gegen den Weltvergifter aller Völker, das internationale Judentum.''
** Translation:
* I myself and my wife - in order to escape the disgrace of deposition or capitulation - choose death. It is our wish to be burnt immediately on the spot where I have carried out the greatest part of my daily work in the course of a twelve years' service to my people.
*Above all, I charge the leadership of the nation and their followers with the strict observance of the racial laws and with merciless resistance against the universal poisoners of all peoples, international Jewry.
** Who: [[Adolf Hitler]], German Nazi dictator
*** Note: These are the last sentences in Adolf Hitler's last will and political testament respectively. They were issued on 29 April 1945, 4:00 AM. Hitler committed suicide with his long-time girlfriend and recently married wife Eva Braun the next day. These texts serve as his last confirmed words and final statement.&lt;ref&gt;http://www.auschwitz.dk/Will.htm.&lt;/ref&gt; Guards stationed at the Führerbunker reported Hitler and Braun said farewells to the bunker's occupants before resigning to their study, and subsequently only silence before the gunshot that took Hitler's life was heard.

* I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap in the dark.
** Who: [[w:Thomas Hobbes|Thomas Hobbes]], English philosopher

* 7:30.
** Who: [[w:Gil Hodges|Gil Hodges]], American baseball player
*** Note: Said as an answer to New York Mets coach Joe Pignatano about what time they were to meet for dinner at their hotel in West Palm Beach, Florida. Hodges then collapsed from a heart attack and died about half an hour later at a nearby hospital.

* You've got to stop this [[w:War in Afghanistan (2001-present)|war in Afghanistan]].
** Who: [[Richard Holbrooke]] (d. 2010), American diplomat. Words to his Pakistani surgeon, as reported in ''The Washington Post'' (December 14, 2010).

* Don't be in such a hurry.
** Who: [[Billie Holiday]]

* This is funny.
** Who: [[w:Doc Holliday|Doc Holliday]]
** Note: Doc Holliday was a consumptive gunfighter. He always thought, and perhaps hoped, that he would die in a fight or &quot;with his boots on&quot;. He died in a hotel bed from tuberculosis. The above words were uttered after he saw his bare feet.

* I know this beach like the back of my hand.
* Who: [[w:Harold Holt|Harold Holt]], 17th Prime Minister of Australia.
** Note: Said moments before swimming at [[w:Cheviot Beach|Cheviot Beach]] in rough conditions. Minutes later, Holt was swept out to sea, apparently caught in a rip tide. His body was never recovered.

* Levi Strauss was one of my best friends.
** Who: [[Herbert Hoover]], 31st President of the United States
*** Note: Accounts differ to whether Hoover's last spoken words were documented or not. His last written words were a get-well message to former President Harry S. Truman, who hit his head on the bathtub after slipping in his bathroom: &quot;Bathtubs are a menace to ex-presidents for as you may recall a bathtub rose up and fractured my vertebrae when I was in Venezuela on your world famine mission in 1946. My warmest sympathy and best wishes for your speedy recovery.&quot;

* Surprise me.
** Who: [[Bob Hope]], American comedian
*** Note: Spoken to his wife when asked where he wanted to be buried.

* I'm tired of fighting! I guess this thing is going to get me.
** Who: [[Harry Houdini]], American magician
**Houdini is often said to have died after being punched in the stomach before having a chance to tighten his abdominal muscles. This is a fabrication. Houdini was punched in the stomach, however doctors agree such a blow could not have caused his appendix to burst, which is what happened and is the cause of his death.

* Texas, Margaret! Texas!
** Who: [[w:Sam Houston|Sam Houston]]

* Let me call you sweetheart, I'm in love with you
** Who: [[w:Joseph E. Howard|Joe Howard]], Tin Pan Alley composer and singer
*** Note: Howard died on stage during a performance of the 1911 hit &quot;Let Me Call You Sweetheart.&quot; At age 91, he was still touring with his long-running Gay Nineties Revue featuring music from the 1890s and 1900s.

* I've been really sick lately, so I'm sorry that I haven't answered yours and Ernie's letters, but I think about you daily.
** Who: [[w:Moe Howard|Moe Howard]], American comedian, member of [[The Three Stooges]]
*** Note: Howard telephoned these words to one of his partners as he was dying of lung cancer.

* Haha!
** Who: [[w:Shemp Howard|Shemp Howard]], American comedian, member of [[The Three Stooges]]
*** Note: Howard was sitting in a taxicab next to his friend Al Winston and had just told a joke when he immediately slumped over on Winston's lap and died of an apparent heart attack. Winston believed Howard was playing a joke because of the laughing, but he then realized he had actually died.

* No. I don't believe so.
** Who: [[w:Rock Hudson|Rock Hudson]]
*** Note: Spoken to Tom Clark, who asked if he wanted another cup of coffee.

* ''C'est ici le combat du jour et de la nuit. Je vois de la lumière noire.''
** Translation: This is the fight of day and night. I see black light.
** Who: [[Victor Hugo]]

* Roger, uh, b-
** Who: Colonel [[w:Rick Husband|Rick Husband]], commander of the doomed space shuttle mission [[w:STS-107|STS-107]].
*** Note: The transmission from [[w:Space Shuttle Columbia|Space Shuttle Columbia]] cut out mid-sentence shortly before the shuttle disintegrated during entry interface.

*  أشهد أن لا اله إلا الله وأن محمداً— (''ašhadu ʾan lā ʾilāha ʾillā llāh wa ʾanna muḥammadan-'')
** Translation: I swear that there is no God but God and Muhammad—
** Who: [[Saddam Hussein]]
** Note: Saddam recited the [[w:Shahadah|Shahadah]], the Muslim affirmation of faith, twice prior to his hanging; the trapdoor sprang before he could finish the second recitation.

* You shot me, you got me, I'm good.
** Who: [[w:Nipsey Hussle|Nipsey Hussle]], American rapper	
*** Note: Hussle was murdered outside of his Marathon Clothing store in Los Angeles. Eyewitnesses report that after he was shot twice and fell, he raised his head from the ground where he lay and said those words to the assailant, who was walking away. The gunman then returned, firing additional shots at Hussle before kicking him in the head and fleeing the scene.[https://www.tmz.com/2019/04/07/nipsey-hussle-murder-fired-shots-rapper-spoke-eric-holder/?adid=foxnewstmztrafficexchange][https://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-nipsey-hussle-eric-holder-murder-transcripts-20190627-story.html] Nipsey Hussle's final public words, sent as a Tweet, were &quot;Having strong enemies is a blessing.&quot; [https://twitter.com/NipseyHussle/status/1112472675169886208]

* LSD, 100 micrograms I.M.
** Who: [[Aldous Huxley]] in a note to his wife. She obliged and he was injected twice before his death.

=I=
* ''Tvert imot!''
** Translation: On the contrary!
** Who: [[Henrik Ibsen]]
** Context: This was his response to a nurse who told a visitor he was a little better.

* I have no doubts.
** Who: [[w:Gwen Ifill|Gwen Ifill]]

* I am better now.
** Who: [[Robert G. Ingersoll]]
** Context: Ingersoll used these same words in his eulogy for his brother, Ebon, saying, &quot;He who sleeps here, when dying, mistaking the approach of death for the return of health, whispered with his latest breath, {{'}}I am better now.{{'}} Let us believe, in spite of doubts and dogmas, of fears and tears, that these dear words are true of all the countless dead.&quot;

* Aloha.
** Who: [[Daniel Inouye]]

* I have to set my pillows one more night, when will this end already?
** Who: [[Washington Irving]] - American author
**Context: said to his niece as he readied himself for bed, whereupon he suffered a stroke and collapsed at the age of 70.

* Don't worry, they usually don't swim backwards.
* I'm dying.
** Who: [[Steve Irwin]] A.K.A. The Crocodile Hunter
** Context: Said when he was examining a stingray in the Great Barrier Reef. It did, however, swim backwards and the tail pierced his chest. He later died of blood loss.
** During an interview on Australian TV show [[w:Studio 10|Studio 10]], cameraman Justin Lyons said the second of these quotes were Irwin's final words; while Lyons tried to reassure him, Irwin &quot;sort of calmly looked up [at Lyons] and said, 'I'm dying'. And that was the last thing he said&quot;.

* May a blessing rest upon you, my sons, and upon your seed this day, for ye have given me rest, and my heart is not pained concerning the birthright, lest thou shouldest work wickedness on account of it. May the Most High God bless the man that worketh righteousness, him and his seed for ever.
** Who: [[w:Isaac|Isaac]]

* 話せばわかる. (''Hanaseba wakaru.'')
**Translation: Let's talk it over, and we'll understand each other.
** Who: [[w:Inukai Tsuyoshi|Inukai Tsuyoshi]] - Prime Minister of Japan
**Context: Said just before he was assassinated by naval officers in a coup d'état [[w:May 15 Incident|May 15 Incident]]. Although he gently invited them to his parlor and tried to have a meaningful conversation, their response was &quot;問答無用. (Mondou muyou.)&quot; (&quot;No use arguing.&quot;)

* You stay. I go.	
** Who: [[w:Ishi|&quot;Ishi&quot;]] (c.1861-1916), last surviving member of the Yahi tribe.

=J=
* Oh, do not cry. Be good children, and we shall all meet in Heaven ... I want to meet you all, white and black, in Heaven.
** Who: [[Andrew Jackson]], 7th President of the United States. Last recorded words, to his grand-children and his servants, as quoted in ''The National Preacher'' (1845) by Austin Dickinson, p. 192.

* Let us cross over the river, and rest under the shade of the trees.
** Who: General [[Stonewall Jackson|Thomas &quot;Stonewall&quot; Jackson]]
** Note: Jackson was accidentally shot by his own men and later died from pneumonia.

* More milk.
** Who: [[Michael Jackson]]
*** Note: Spoken to his doctor, Conrad Murray. The &quot;milk&quot; in question is the nickname he gave the drug propofol, which he was asking Murray for before he died from an overdose.

* I ain't feeling good in my chest.
** Who: [[w:Tito Jackson|Tito Jackson]], American musician.
*** Note: While Jackson and two friends were preparing to continue their road trip in [[w:Gallup, New Mexico|Gallup]] after a lunch break, he complained about chest pain to one of them. He was taken to a local hospital where he died shortly thereafter.&lt;ref&gt;[https://news.meaww.com/tito-jackson-would-still-be-alive-had-he-gotten-help-sooner-claims-family Tito Jackson would still be alive had he 'gotten help sooner', claims family]. Meaww. Retrieved April 27, 2026.&lt;/ref&gt; 

* אני נאסף אל־עמי קברו אתי אל־אבתי אל־המערה אשר בשדה עפרון החתי במערה אשר בשדה המכפלה אשר על־פני־ממרא בארץ כנען אשר קנה אברהם את־השדה מאת עפרן החתי לאחזת־קבר שמה קברו את־אברהם ואת שרה אשתו מה קברו את־יצחק ואת רבקה אשתו ושמה קברתי את־לאה מקנה השדה והמערה אשר־בו מאת בני־חת (''Ani ne'esaf el ammi kivru oti el avotai el hamme'arah asher bisdeh efrovn bamme'arah asher bisdeh hammachpelah asher al penei mamre be'eretz kena'an asher kanah avraham et hassadeh me'et efron hachitti la'achuzzat kaver shammah kaveru et avraham ve'et sarah ishtov mah kaveru et yitzchak ve'et rivkah ishtov veshammah kavarti et le'ah mikneh hassadeh vehamme'arah asher bov me'et benei chet'')
** Translation: I am to be gathered to my people; bury me with my fathers in the cave that is in the field of Ephron the Hittite, in the cave that is in the field of Machpelah, which is before Mamre in the land of Canaan, which Abraham bought with the field of Ephron the Hittite as a possession for a burial place. There they buried Abraham and Sarah his wife, there they buried Isaac and Rebekah his wife, and there I buried Leah. The field and the cave that is there were purchased from the sons of Heth.
** Who: [[w:Jacob|Jacob]].

* That picture is awful dusty.
** Who: [[w:Jesse James|Jesse James]]
** While in his home, James climbed on a chair to dust a framed picture hanging on the wall. When he turned around, he was shot in the back of the head by Robert Ford, his former associate.

* אל תפחדי מפרושים, ולא ממי מאלה שאינם פרושים, אם לא צבועים כמו פרושים, שמעשיהם כמעשה זמרי ומבקשים שכר כפנחס (''Al tifkhadi maPerushim, v'lo mimmi sh'einam Perushim, im lo tzu'im Perushim, shemma'aseihem k'ma'ase Zimri um'vaqqeshim sakar k'Finekhas'')
** Translation: Do not be afraid of the Pharisees, nor those who are not Pharisees, rather, the hypocrites who appear like Pharisees, as their actions are like the act of Zimri, and they request a reward like Phinehas.
** Who: [[w:Jannaeus|Alexander Jannaeus]], second king of Hasmonean Judea

* I want the world to be filled with white fluffy duckies.
** Who: [[w:Derek Jarman|Derek Jarman]]

* ''Allahu Akbar.''
** Translation: Allah is the greatest.
** Who: [[Ziad Jarrah]], hijacker-pilot of United Airlines Flight 93.
*** Note: Jarrah repeatedly said these words as Flight 93 was falling towards the ground near Shanksville, Pennsylvania and kept saying them until the plane crashed.

* I am dying. Please ... bring me a toothpick.
** Who: [[Alfred Jarry]], absurdist writer and playwright.
*** Note: These last words, for a time, were considered a final expression of his absurdist humor; a doctor asserted that they were perfectly understandable due to his dehydration.

* What's left to say? I have said thank you in every way I know how.
** Who: [[w:Rick Jeanneret|Rick Jeanneret]], hockey announcer

* &quot;Is it the Fourth?&quot; [''Doctor Robley Dunglison: &quot;It soon will be.&quot;''] I resign my spirit to God, my daughter to my country. Lord, now lettest Thou, Thy servant depart in peace.
** Who: [[Thomas Jefferson]], 3rd President of the United States.
** Jefferson died on July 4, 1826. This was the 50th Anniversary of the signing of the [[w:United States Declaration of Independence|American Declaration of Independence]], which was written mostly by Thomas Jefferson. Jefferson's great political rival, [[John Adams]] — later a correspondent and friend — died the same day a few hours later.  Among Adams' last words were the utterance of Thomas Jefferson's name.

* מרמה אחזיה (''Mirmah Akhazya'')
** Translation: This is treachery, Ahaziah!
** Who: [[w:Joram of Israel|Joram of Israel]]

* Finally this evening, a brief note about change. Some of you have noticed in the last several days that I was not covering the Pope. While my colleagues at ABC did a superb job, I did think a few times I was missing out. However, as some of you now know, I have learned in the last couple of days that I have lung cancer. Yes, I was a smoker until about 20 years ago, and I was weak and I smoked over 9/11. But whatever the reason, the news does slow you down a bit. I have been reminding my colleagues today, who've all been incredibly supportive, that almost 10,000,000 Americans are already living with cancer, and I have a lot to learn from them. And &quot;living&quot; is the key word. The National Cancer Institute says that we are survivors from the moment of diagnosis. I will continue to do the broadcast, on good days; my voice will not always be like this! Certainly it's been a long time, and I hope it goes without saying that a journalist who doesn't value deeply the audience's loyalty should be in another line of work. To be perfectly honest I'm a little surprised at the kindness today from so many people, that's not intended as false modesty, but even I was taken aback by how far and how fast news travels. Finally, I wonder if other men and women ask their doctors right away, &quot;Okay, Doc, when does the hair go?&quot; At any rate, that's it for now on ''World News Tonight''. Have a good evening; I'm Peter Jennings. Thanks, and good night.
**Who: [[Peter Jennings]], Canadian-American journalist and news anchor; longtime host of ABC's ''World News Tonight''.
** Note: Said this during his final broadcast four months before his death from lung cancer on August 7, 2005. Although these are not his actual last words, they are the last words heard by the public.

* אבי באידיך סאם אנא רוחי הדא (''Abi b'idhaich sa'eim ana rukhi hadei'')
** Translation: Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit. (Luke 23:46, quoting Psalm 31:5)
* אלהי אלהי למה שבקתני (''Elohi, Elohi, lama sabactani?'')
** Translation: My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? (Mark 15:34 and Matthew 27:46, quoting Psalm 22:1)
*I thirst (John 19:28)
* הא משׁלם (''Ha m'shalam'')
** Translation: It is finished. (John 19:30; utterance mentioned, but not quoted, in Matthew 27:50 and Mark 15:37)
** Who: [[Jesus]], messianic central figure of the religion of Christianity
**The exact sequence of events differs somewhat in details among the four canonical Gospels. All four gospels agree that Jesus made a loud utterance immediately before dying and after the centurions overseeing his crucifixion offered him vinegar to drink, with three of the four (Matthew, Mark and John) stating the utterance and death came immediately after drinking the vinegar; John reports it as meaning &quot;it is finished&quot;, while Matthew and Mark only describe it as a noise. The often cited vocalization of &quot;Elohi&quot; as &quot;Eloi&quot; in Matthew and Mark, which comes from the last intelligible words Jesus is said to have uttered before being served the vinegar, comes from the original Greek translation; ancient Greek lacked the &lt;nowiki&gt;[&lt;/nowiki&gt;[[w:Voiceless glottal fricative|h]]&lt;nowiki&gt;]&lt;/nowiki&gt; sound the Aramaic word uses. &quot;Eloi&quot; is also interchangeable with &quot;Eli&quot; (אלי), which is sometimes cited, and was noted to have caused a misunderstanding by bystanders who thought he was summoning the Old Testament prophet Elijah. The Gospel of Luke's account of the period between the consumption of vinegar and his death is much longer, including a conversation with one of his fellow condemned, before closing with the loud utterance being the quote from Psalm 31; this story has no parallel in any of the other gospels.

* ?השלום, זמרי הרג אדניו (''Hashalom Zimri hoger 'adonav?'')
** Translation: Peace, Zimri, murderer of your master?
** Who: [[w:Jezebel|Jezebel]]
*** Note: These words were spoken to Jehu, the general of Israel's army, who had killed the reigning kings of Israel and Judah, the former being Jezebel's husband, after the prophet Elisha had secretly anointed him king. Zimri was the name of another great Israelite general, who around 40 years prior had also murdered the reigning king and took the throne, reigning for a week before committing suicide. 

* 我死，现在知道我是谁. (''Wǒ sǐ, xiànzài zhīdào wǒ shì shéi.'')
** Translation: I die knowing now who I am.
** Who: [[Billy Ji]], Chinese psychoanalyst.
*** Note: Died of liver cirrhosis.

*Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow.
** Who: [[Steve Jobs]], Apple CEO.
*** Note: His last statement was recorded by his sister on his deathbed. [http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/30/opinion/mona-simpsons-eulogy-for-steve-jobs.html?_r=1 NewYorkTimes].

* ''Ich grüße dich, mein ewiges Deutschland.''
** Translation: I greet you, my eternal Germany.
** Sometimes reported as: My greetings to you, my Germany.
** Who: [[Alfred Jodl]], Nazi military officer
*** Note: Jodl made this statement before he was executed by hanging.

* I will see you tomorrow, if God wills it.
** Who: [[Pope John Paul I]], an hour before he died of a heart attack.

* ''Pozwólcie mi pójść do domu Ojca.''
* ''Amen.''
** Translation: 
*** Let me go to the house of the Father.
*** Amen.
** Who: [[Pope John Paul II]], uttered in his papal apartments, six hours before he died, with the latter before the moment of death.

* ''Absit, ut rex Boemie fugeret, sed illuc me ducite, ubi maior strepitus certaminis vigeret, Dominus sit nobiscum, nil timeamus, tantum filium meum diligenter custodite.''
** Translation: Far from it that the King of Bohemia flee, but to get there lead me where there is greatest uproar of the fight in vigor; the Lord is with us, we must fear nothing, only keep my son diligently. 
** Who: [[w:John I of Bohemia|John the Blind of Luxembourg]] at [[w:Battle of Crécy|the Battle of Crécy]]
*** Note: Often paraphrased to Never by God will that be that a King of Bohemia flees from the battle., or some variant.

* My right side is paralyzed. I need no doctor. I can overcome my own troubles.
** Who: [[Andrew Johnson]], 17th President of the United States
*** Note: Spoken to his granddaughter, who was about to send for a doctor.

* P.S. I LOVE MY FRIENDS YOU ARE FAMILY ! GOD LOVES ALL PEOPLE NO MATTER WHAT !
** Who: [[w:Dan Johnson (Kentucky politician)|Dan Johnson]], Republican member of the Kentucky House of Representatives
*** Note: Taken from a suicide note from Facebook. On December 13, 2017, Dan shot himself in the head following allegations in which he was accused of having molested a woman at his church.

* Send Mike immediately!
** Who: [[Lyndon B. Johnson]], 36th President of the United States
*** Note: Said to a Secret Service agent over an in-house telephone. He had suffered a heart attack, and called for Mike Howard, another Secret Service agent, before losing consciousness.

* God Bless you, my dear!
** Who: [[Samuel Johnson]]

* Vancouver! Vancouver! This is it! This is —
** Who: [[w:David A. Johnston|David A. Johnston]], volcanologist with the [[w:United States Geological Survey|United States Geological Survey]]. Last radio transmission before being killed in the May 1980 eruption of [[w:Mount St. Helens|Mount St. Helens]].

* ''Aludni akarok.''
** Translation: I want to sleep.
** Who: [[w:Mór Jókai|Mór Jókai]]
** As quoted in ''Dictionary of Last Words'' (1955) by Edward S. LeComte. LeComte cites ''Budapest Daily Szabad Ifjusag'' May 4, 1954, on authority of Mr. Istan Csicsery-Ronay. {{cite book |title= Dictionary of Last Words|last= LeComte|first= Edward S. |year= 1954|publisher= Philosophical Library.|location= New York, NY}}.

* This is it! I'm going. I'm going.
** Who: [[w:Al Jolson|Al Jolson]]

* HMO's are in it for the money. Live free, love safe or die.
** Who: [[w:Daniel V. Jones|Daniel V. Jones]], on a banner he presented on a Los Angeles freeway shortly before shooting himself on live television in May 1998. Jones had previously expressed resentment at his HMO for their inadequate treatment of his cancer and HIV-infection.

* ''...take our life from us, we laid it down, we got tired. We didn't commit suicide. We committed an act of revolutionary suicide protesting the conditions of an inhumane world.''
** Who: [[w:Jim Jones|Reverend James Warren &quot;Jim&quot; Jones]], founder and leader of the [[w:Peoples Temple|Peoples Temple]].
*** Note: These words were part of a recording on an audiocassette found at the People's Temple compound in Guyana after the mass suicide of 1978. While he may have shot himself after the tape ran out, these were his last recorded words. [http://www.archive.org/details/ptc1978-11-18.flac16 The Jonestown Death Tape (FBI No. Q 042)] at the [http://www.archive.org Internet Archive].

* 매우 고통스러운, 매우 고통스러운, 나는 액체가 뿌려졌다. (''Maeu gotongseuleoun, maeu gotongseuleoun, naneun aegchega pulyeojyeosda.'')
**Translation: Very painful, very painful, I was sprayed with liquid.
** Who: [[w:Kim Jong-nam|Kim Jong-nam]], half-brother of [[w:Kim Jong-un|Kim Jong-un]].
*** Note: On February 13th, 2017, Jong-nam was attacked at Kuala Lumpur International Airport by two women with a VX nerve agent. He then staggered around 15m to a service counter for help and uttered these words before collapsing and being taken to a hospital, where he later died. [https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/2887520/last-words-brother-north-korea-assassination-kim-jong-nam/]

* Does nobody understand?
** Who: [[James Joyce]]

* In death as in life, I defy the Jews who caused this last war, and I defy the power of darkness which they represent. I warn the British people against the crushing imperialism of the Soviet Union. May Britain be great once again and the hour of the greatest danger in the West may the standard be raised from the dust, crowned with the words – you have conquered nevertheless. I am proud to die for my ideals and I am sorry for the sons of Britain who have died without knowing why.
** Who: [[w:William Joyce|William Joyce]], Irish-American fascist, Nazi collaborationist and propaganda broadcaster known as &quot;[[w:Lord Haw-Haw|Lord Haw-Haw]]&quot;
*** Note: Joyce made this statement prior to his execution by hanging for treason.

* ''Jésus, Jésus, Jésus!''
** Translation: Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
** Who: [[Joan of Arc]]

* Ηρακλής! Πώς κρύο λουτρό σας! (''Herakles! Pos krýo loutró sas!'')
** Translation: Hercules! How cold your bath is!
** Who: [[w:Jugurtha|Jugurtha]], King of Numidia.
*** Note: He spoke this as he was thrown into a Roman dungeon to starve to death. There is a play on words, a &quot;Bath of Hercules&quot; being an ancient Greek expression for a hot spring.

* ''Vicisti, Galilæ'' ''or'' ''νενίκηκάς με, Γαλιλαῖε'' ''(neníkikás me, Galilaíe)''
** Translation: You have won, Galilean.
** Who: [[Julian (emperor)|Emperor Julian]], having attempted to reverse the official endorsement of Christianity by the Roman Empire.

* [''&quot;Is the man in the bathroom wit u&quot;''] He's a terror. Yes.
** Who: Eddie Jamoldroy Justice, a victim of the Orlando nightclub shooting
*** Note: Justice send these as a text message to his mother before he was shot by the gunman. He died from his injuries.

=K=
* ''Espero que la salida sea alegre y espero no volver jamás.''
** Translation: I hope the exit is joyful and hope never to return.
** Who: [[Frida Kahlo]]

* ''Aue, he kanaka au, eia i loko o ke kukonukonu o ka maʻi!''
** Translation: Alas, I am a man who is seriously ill!
** Who: [[w:Kalākaua|Kalākaua]], last King and second-to-last monarch of Hawaii
*** Note: &quot;Tell my people I tried,&quot; which was more popularly mistaken as his last words, was actually a quote invented by Eugene Burns in his biography of Kalākaua, ''The Last King of Paradise'', published in 1952.

*''E ʻoni wale no ʻoukou i kuʻu pono ʻaʻole e pau.''
** Translation: Endless is the good that I have given you to enjoy.
** Who: [[w:Kamehameha I|Kamehameha I]], first King of Hawaii

*Nearly 100 frank opinions every day. I couldn't deny that I was hurt. I'm dead. Thank you for giving me a mother. It was a life I wanted to be loved. Thank you to everyone who supported me. I love it. I'm weak, I'm sorry. I don't want to be a human anymore. It was a life I wanted to be loved. Thank you, everyone. I love you. Bye.
** Who: [[w:Hana Kimura|Hana Kimura]], professional wrestler
** Kimura's suicide note.

*''Es ist gut.''
** Translation: It is good.
** Who: [[Immanuel Kant]]

*Don't worry...it's not loaded...
** Who: [[w:Terry Kath|Terry Kath]], rock musician in the band Chicago
** Context: As he put the gun he was cleaning to his head and pulled the trigger. Though the gun had no magazine in it, Kath was unaware that a bullet was already in the chamber; he was killed instantly.

* ''Ille facit.''
** Translation: He will do it.
** Who: [[w:Karl IX of Sweden |Karl IX of Sweden]]
*** Note: Said about his son, Gustavus Adolphus the Great, who made Sweden a great power.

* ''Herre Jesus, anamma min ande.''
** Translation: Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.
** Who: [[w:Karl XI of Sweden |Karl XI of Sweden]]

* ''Var intet rädd.''
** Translation: Don't be afraid.
** Who: [[w:Karl XII of Sweden |Karl XII of Sweden]]
*** Note: Said to his officers when they expressed concern about him being in the trenches under the siege of Fredriksten. Minutes later he was killed.

* ''Oscar, Oscar, nous nous défendrons.''
** Translation: Oscar, Oscar, we shall defend ourselves.
** Who: [[w:Charles XIV John|Karl XIV Johan]] of Sweden-Norway
*** Note: Said to his son, crown prince Oscar.

* ''Kommer jag att plågas mycket?''
** Translation: Will I be in much pain?
** Who: Karl XV of Sweden-Norway

* Walter Pidgeon.
** Who: English actor [[w:Boris Karloff|Boris Karloff]]
*** These were the final words he was heard to speak as he drifted in and out of sleep on his final day. It confused and distressed his wife Evie, since Karloff hadn't mentioned Pidgeon in years.

* Brett, whatever happens, I'm okay with it.
** Who: [[Toby Keith]], American country music singer.
*** &quot;Brett&quot; was [[w:Brett Favre|Brett Favre]], with whom he was on the phone shortly before his death.&lt;ref&gt;[https://www.tmz.com/2024/02/08/brett-favre-spoke-toby-keith-before-death-he-was-tired/ Brett Favre says he spoke with Toby Keith days before his death, 'He Was Just Tired']. ''TMZ''. Retrieved February 10, 2024.&lt;/ref&gt;

* Ah, well, I suppose it has come to this... Such is life.
** Who: Australian bush ranger [[Ned Kelly]] as he was hanged in the Melbourne Jail on November 11th 1880.

* I wish I could go with you.
** Who: [[Walt Kelly]], Cartoonist
*** Note: Spoken to his wife, Selby Kelly, as she visited him in the hospital. According to her, he was lapsing in and out of consciousness. She told him she was going for coffee, unaware if he could hear her, and he said those words. She stayed by his side until he died from diabetes complications.

* No, you certainly can't.
** Who: [[John F. Kennedy]], 35th President of the United States.
*** Note: Said in response to [[w:Nellie Connally|Nellie Connally]], who had commented &quot;You certainly can't say Dallas doesn't love you, Mr. President.&quot;, in reference to Dallas' heavy Republican presence.

* Don't lift me.
** Who: [[Robert F. Kennedy]]
*** Note: Spoken to medical attendants when lifted onto a stretcher and seconds before he fell into a coma. He died in the early morning hours of the next day.

* These last few days are among the happiest I've ever ignored.
** Who: [[w:Douglas Kenney|Douglas Kenney]], founder of National Lampoon magazine
*** Note: Written on the back of a hotel receipt, with a bunch of random thoughts and the reasons he loved his girlfriend.

* ''Allein durch die Verdienste Jesu Christi, unseres Erlösers.''
** Translation: Solely by the merits of Jesus Christ, Our Saviour.
** Who: [[Johannes Kepler]]

* Stella, I'm bleeding...Help me...Stella, I love you.
**Who: [[Jack Kerouac]]
*** Note: These were his last known words to his wife Stella, shortly after starting to hemorrhage following decades of heavy drinking,  and while on his way to St. Anthony's Hospital, St. Petersburg, Florida, where he would die early the next morning, October 21, 1969

* I'll be in Hell before you start breakfast! Let her rip!
** Who: [[w:Tom Ketchum|Tom &quot;Black Jack&quot; Ketchum]], notorious train robber
*** Note: Said after springing up the gallow steps to his execution; the rope was too long, and he was decapitated. [http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=12112][http://therecord.blogs.com/it_gets_weirder/2006/10/exit_strategies.html]

* Climb to one five thousand.
** Who: Ralph G. Kevorkian, captain aboard [[w:TWA Flight 800|TWA Flight 800]].
*** Note: Routine acknowledgement of ATC instructions from Boston Center, ordering the flight to climb to 15000 feet. Forty-four seconds later, a short circuit ignited fuel vapors from the plane's central fuel tank, blowing up the aircraft mid-flight.

* I should have drunk more Champagne.
** Who: [[John-Maynard Keynes]]

*I'm suffocating...take this bag off my head! I'm claustrophobic!
** Who: [[w:Jamal Khashoggi|Jamal Khashoggi]]
*** Note: These were the words that Khashoggi allegedly said as he was being tortured by Saudi Arabian government agents inside the Saudi consulate in Istanbul, Turkey. Some accounts claim that his last words were simply &quot;I cannot breathe.&quot;

* Never regret that you lived in stormy times and worked with me in the Central Committee. We will yet be remembered!
** Who: [[w:Nikita Khrushchev|Nikita Khrushchev]]
*** Note: Spoken to his son-in-law and former aide Alexei Adzhubei mere days before he died in hospital of a heart attack.

* I love you. Take care of the boys. 
** Who: [[Larry King]]
*** Note: Spoken to his wife Shawn before his life was taken by sepsis.

* Be sure to play &quot;Blessed Lord&quot; tonight — play it real pretty.
** Who: [[Martin Luther King Jr.]]

* I don't want to die. I don't want to die.
* But why?
* Okay, Okay, Okay.
** Who: [[w:Sam Kinison|Sam Kinison]]
*** Note: Words spoken by the comedian as he lay on the ground after a car wreck. Witnesses have reported that it was like he was having a conversation with someone he knew. Whatever voice was talking to him gave him the right answer and he just relaxed with it. He said it so sweet, like he was &quot;talking to someone he loved.&quot; Kinson then lost consciousness, and efforts to resuscitate him failed. He eventually died at the scene from internal injuries, at the age of just 38 years old.

* Counting or not counting gang violence?
** Who: [[Charlie Kirk]]
*** Note: Kirk was answering a question from an audience member at a university event when he was fatally shot in the neck.

* ''Minä elän.''
** Translation: I live.
** Who: [[Aleksis Kivi]]

* じゃ、お先に。 (''Ja, osakini.'')
** Translation: Now excuse me, I have to go.
** Who: [[w:Satoshi Kon|Satoshi Kon]]
*** Note: The last sentence written out in a long letter.&lt;ref&gt;{{Cite web|url=http://konstone.s-kon.net/modules/notebook/archives/565|title=NOTEBOOK »NOTEBOOK» ブログアーカイブ » さようなら - KON'S TONE}}&lt;/ref&gt;&lt;ref&gt;{{Cite web|url=http://www.makikoitoh.com/journal/satoshi-kons-last-words|title=Satoshi Kon's last words | Makiko Itoh : Not a nameless cat.}}&lt;/ref&gt;

* Tape ''Seinfeld'' for me.
** Who: [[w:Harvey Korman|Harvey Korman]]

* I leave this life with no regrets. It was a wonderful life—complete with the great loves and great endeavors that make it worth living. I am sad to leave, but I leave with the knowledge that I lived the life that I intended.
** Who: [[Charles Krauthammer]]
** From his farewell letter, two weeks before his death from abdominal cancer

* May this day bring you rest and peace.
** Who: [[w:Cheslie Kryst|Cheslie Kryst]], 2019 Miss USA
** From her last Instagram post, the day she committed apparent suicide by jumping from a 29-story building.

* 私の心と魂は帝国の運命となるでしょう。 (''Watashi no kokoro to tamashī wa teikoku no unmei to narudeshou.'')
** Translation: My heart and soul will be with the fate of the Imperial nation.
** Who: [[w:Tadamichi Kuribayashi|Tadamichi Kuribayashi]]
** context: Although nobody knows exactly how Kuribayashi died, these are the final lines of his last message to Imperial Headquarters.

* ''Sag mir, nachdem ich meinen Kopf abgehackt habe, werde ich wenigstens für einen Moment das Geräusch meines eigenen Blutes hören können, das aus meinem Halsstumpf sprudelt? Das wäre die Freude, alle Freuden zu beenden.''
** Translation: Tell me, after my head is chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment, the sound of my own blood gushing from the stump of my neck? That would be the pleasure to end all pleasures.
** Who: [[w:Peter Kürten|Peter Kürten]]

* ''Vurmayın öldüm!''
** Translation: Don't hit me, I am dying!
*** Who: [[w:Ali İsmail Korkmaz|Ali İsmail Korkmaz]], a teenager lynched by pro-government civilians and police during the [[w:Gezi Park protests|Gezi Park protests]] in [[w:Eskişehir|Eskişehir]], Turkey

=L=
* &quot;Write about yourself—nothing else half so much interests your affectionate&lt;br&gt;⁠&quot;L. E. Maclean.&quot;
** Who: [[w:Letitia Elizabeth Landon|Letitia Elizabeth Landon]]
*** Note: Close of a letter written shortly before her sudden death from a seizure.

* You're right. It's time. I love you all.
** Who: [[w:Michael Landon|Michael Landon]]
*** Note: In response to his son, who told him it was time to let go and move on.

* I must get to the station.
** Who: [[w:Cosmo Lang|Cosmo Lang]]

* I'm a fucking doctor.
** Who: [[R. D. Laing]]
**He suffered a fatal heart attack in public, and as people gathered round the spot someone said 'Get a doctor.'

* Whatever God wants is fine by me. I've had the very best life, I have tasted beauty.
** Who: [[w:Scatman John|John Larkin]], a.k.a. &quot;Scatman John&quot;

* I am going to the inevitable.
** Who: [[Philip Larkin]]

* We're approaching the intersection! We're approaching the intersection! We're approaching the intersection! Hold on. Pray. Oh shoot, there's- oh! Oh! Oh! OH-
** Who: Chris Lastrella
*** Note: Lastrella contacted 911 after the Lexus in which he, his sister Cleofe, and her husband and daughter were travelling in began to accelerate uncontrollably. The vehicle approached the end of the freeway at approximately 120mph, collided with a turning vehicle, and crashed into a dirt embankment. All four occupants were killed. Toyota later recalled 4.5 million vehicles owing to &quot;sticky accelerators&quot; on floor mats.

* I wish I was skiing. [''Nurse: &quot;Oh, Mr. Laurel, do you ski?&quot;''] No, but I'd rather be skiing than doing what I'm doing.
** Who: [[w:Stan Laurel|Stan Laurel]], before dying of a heart attack.

* Love y'all. Peace.
** Who: [[w:Chyna|Joanie &quot;Chyna&quot; Laurer]]
*** Note: The last known words that were spoken at the end of a video blog posted on her YouTube account.

* Tell the men to fire faster! Don't give up the ship! Fight her till she sinks!
** Who: [[w:James Lawrence|James Lawrence]], later used as naval ensign by his friend [[Oliver Hazard Perry|Commodore Perry]]. According to ''Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations'' (1989), the only documented source is the blue battle-flag inscribed with these words ordered and used by [[Oliver Hazard Perry]] as a signal during the battle of Lake Erie, September 10, 1813. Although popularly attributed to Captain James Lawrence as his dying words during a battle with a British frigate off the coast of Boston on June 1, 1813, there remains the possibility these words were not his, but those of someone reporting the battle. For other attributed sources and theories, see Burton Stevenson, ed., ''Macmillan Book of Proverbs, Maxims, and Famous Phrases'' (1965), p. 2091; Charles C. Bombaugh, ''Facts and Fancies for the Curious'' (1905), p. 388–89; William S. Walsh, ''Hand-Book of Literary Curiosities'' (1929), p. 1004–5; ''Dictionary of American History'' (1976), rev. ed., vol. 2, p. 364; and ''Motor Boating'' (October 1965), p. 72.

* My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world.
** Who: Hon. [[w:Jack Layton|Jack Layton]], last lines of his final letter to Canadians, written two days before he died and released upon his death

* Beautiful.
** Who: [[Timothy Leary]] 
*** Note: Leary had repeatedly said &quot;Why not.&quot; with various inflections prior to this, these are often reported as his final words.

* Katie, Katie, look... it'll be fine, you know, I just need to get some sleep.
** Who: [[Heath Ledger]]
*** Note: According to his father, Ledger's sister was on the phone with the actor, telling him it's a bad idea to mix sleeping pills with prescriptions. He died shortly after he did just that.

* Hello and greetings to you all, wherever you may be. And thank you, as always, for your appreciation and help during my life as an actor.
** Who: [[Christopher Lee]]
*** Note: Spoken in a video released shortly before his death in June 2015.

* Tell [[w:A.P. Hill|Hill]] he must come up!  Strike the tent.
** Who: [[Robert E. Lee]]
*** Note: His last words are debated, as his stroke has resulted in [[w:Aphasia|aphasia]], possibly rendering him unable to speak.

* God Bless. Take care my boy, Roy.
** Who: [[Stan Lee]]

* Вот собака. (''Vot sobaka.'')
** Translation: Good dog.
*** Who: [[Vladimir Lenin]], Russian communist statesman and revolutionary. 
*** Note: This was spoken to his dog, who brought him a dead bird.

* Yes, I am.
* I'm shot. I'm shot.
** Who: [[John Lennon]]
*** Note: Whilst sitting in the back of a police car on the way to the hospital after the officers had asked him if he was John Lennon. While widely reported highly likely doubtful. &quot;Yes, I am,&quot; in response to, &quot;Are you John Lennon?&quot; is frequently cited as Lennon's &quot;Last Words.&quot; The myth is based on the story that the police officer did not recognize someone as famous as John Lennon (and Yoko would have been present too). This is actually a restatement or twisting of the question the officer did likely ask: &quot;Do you know who you are&quot; which would have been an attempt to determine Lennon's level of consciousness. Different versions have him answering or not in different manners, some state he said he was John Lennon. That is doubtful, Lennon's mouth was bleeding profusely at this point. More likely, the alternative version is accurate, that Lennon slightly nodded (or appeared to nod) and could only manage a gurgling sound from his throat before he lost consciousness totally. This concurs with reports of levels of severity of his injuries. Lennon's blood loss was so great, before the police arrived that the concierge at The Dakota realizing the severity of the injuries, simply covered Lennon with his uniform's jacket and removed his blood covered glasses then summoned police. Also, Lennon's last words of &quot;I'm shot&quot; were spoken seconds after he was shot as he staggered a number of steps toward the lobby of the Dakota. Sources for this include discussion in the Last Words reference book, Last Words of Notable People -- Final Words of More than 3500 Noteworthy People Throughout History by William B. Brahms which also cites the Lennon biography, John Ono Lennon Volume 2, 1967-1980 by Ray Coleman ). {{cite book |title= Last Words of Notable People: Final Words of More than 3500 Noteworthy People Throughout History|last= Brahms|first= William B. |year= 2010|publisher= [[Reference Desk Press, Inc]]|location= Haddonfield, NJ|isbn= 978-09765325-2-1|page= 399}}; {{cite book |title= John Ono Lennon Volume 2, 1967-1980 |last= Coleman|first= Ray |year= 1984|publisher= [[Sidgwick &amp; Jackson]]|location= London|isbn= 978-07088274-0-6}}.

* Ah, shit.
** Who: [[w:Marc Lépine|Marc Lépine]], perpetrator of the [[w:École Polytechnique massacre|École Polytechnique massacre]].
*** Note: Heard to have said these words shortly after stabbing his final victim, before committing suicide using his own rifle.

* ''Anna viiniä.''
** Translation: Give me wine.
** Who: [[w:Juice Leskinen|Pauli Matti Juhani &quot;Juice&quot; Leskinen]], Finnish musician, songwriter and poet.
*** Note: According to his wife, Leskinen said these words to her before he was taken into an ambulance, where he lost consciousness and died later in a hospital.

*So hard to die.
**Who: [[w:Meriwether Lewis|Meriwether Lewis]]

*It's complete surrender.
**Who: [[w:Eric Liddell|Eric Liddell]]

* We had a good run.
** Who: [[Gordon Lightfoot]], Canadian folk singer.&lt;ref&gt;[https://www.theglobeandmail.com/arts/music/article-gordon-lightfoot-death-appreciation/ We never had to read Gordon Lightfoot’s mind, we had his songs]. ''The Globe and Mail''. May 2, 2023.&lt;/ref&gt;

* ''Opfer müssen gebracht werden!''
** Translation: Sacrifices must be made!
** Who: [[Otto Lilienthal]] pioneer of human aviation, after on 9 August 1896 a gust of wind fractured his wing and he fell from a height of 17 m (56 ft), breaking his spine. These were his last words to his brother before he succumbed to the injury.

* I love you, too. Big time.
** Who: [[Rush Limbaugh]], American radio host and political commentator.
** To his brother [[w:David Limbaugh|David Limbaugh]], shortly before losing consciousness for the final time.&lt;ref&gt;Limbaugh, David. [https://townhall.com/columnists/davidlimbaugh/2021/04/09/goodbye-to-my-brother--for-now-n2587628 Goodbye to my brother -- for now]. ''Townhall.com'' (Salem Web Network). Retrieved April 10, 2021.&lt;/ref&gt;

* Dad, Dad, someone is shooting.
** Who: [[w:2011 Norway attacks|Gunnar Linaker]]
*** Note: Linaker, 23, was calling his father from the Labor Youth Party camp in Norway on July 22, 2011 when he noticed [[w:Anders Behring Breivik|a gunman]] shooting before he hung up. Linaker was among the 69 victims in the shooting.

* She won't think anything about it.
** Who: [[Abraham Lincoln]], 16th President of the United States, as quoted in ''Famous Last Words‎'' (1961) by Barnaby Conrad
*** Note: Stated after Mary Lincoln had asked him what Clara Harris sitting next to them might think of them holding hands. A secondary account is offered by one of Lincoln's confidants, the Reverend Noyes W. Miner, who officiated the president's funeral, who claimed that Mary had told him Lincoln's final words expressed a desire to visit the 'Holy Land': &quot;How I should like to visit Jeru(salem).&quot;, with Lincoln being shot in the middle of the word &quot;Jerusalem&quot;.

* Keep up the fire!
** Who: U.S. Army Colonel [[w:Emerson H. Liscum|Emerson H. Liscum]], commander of the  [[w:9th Infantry Regiment (United States)|9th Infantry Regiment]], directing his troops after being fatally wounded during the [[w:Battle of Tientsin|Battle of Tientsin]] in China, 1900
*** Note: Liscum's last words became the official motto of the 9th Infantry Regiment.

* The bastards got me, but they won't get everybody.
** Who: [[w:Alexander Litvinenko|Alexander Litvinenko]], whistleblowing former Russian spy, who was poisoned in a London sushi bar.
*** Note: Said in an interview on [[November 23]], 2006, hours before his death. (''The Times'', [[November 24]], 2006)

* I think I'm going to make it!
** Who: [[w:Richard Loeb|Richard Loeb]], half of the famous murderers Leopold and Loeb; said after being slashed ninety times with a razor by a fellow inmate.

* Hey - what's happening here?
** Who: Captain Robert Loft of [[w:Eastern Air Lines Flight 401|Eastern Air Lines flight 401]]
*** Note: The December 29, 1972 crash of Eastern Air Lines flight 401 was a result of the flight crew's failure to recognize a deactivation of the autopilot during their attempt to troubleshoot a malfunction of the landing gear position indicator system. As a result, the flight gradually lost altitude while the flight crew was preoccupied and eventually crashed. It was the first crash of a wide-body aircraft and, at the time, the deadliest in the United States.

* ''Muero con mi patria!''
** Translation: I die with my country!
** Who: [[w:Francisco Solano Lopez|Francisco Solano Lopez]]
*** Note: Died during the Battle of Cerro Cora on March 1, 1870.

* This is for you!
** Who: [[w:Ricardo López (stalker)|Ricardo López]], the &quot;Björk stalker&quot;
*** Note: López, a crazed Björk fan disgruntled by her relationship with Goldie, recorded a video diary detailing his obsession and plans to kill Björk with a letter bomb. In the last videotape, López mailed the bomb and planned to kill himself to avoid arrest. Towards the end of the video, López played the song &quot;I Remember You&quot;, uttered his last words at the end of the song, and shot himself in the mouth.

* Allah, save this country! ''Pakistan zindabad!''
** Translation: &quot;Pakistan zindabad&quot; means &quot;Long live Pakistan.&quot;
** Who: [[w:Liaquat Ali Khan|Liaquat Ali Khan]], first Prime Minister of Pakistan, spoke to the nation before being shot. 

* Don't let me die, I have got so much to do.
** Who: [[Huey Long]], &quot;The Kingfish&quot;, American politician, Governor of and Senator from Louisiana

* ''Huz! Huz!!''
** Translation: Get out! Get out!
** Who: [[w:Louis the Pious|Louis the Pious]], second Carolingian emperor

* ''Je m'en vais, mais l'État demeurera toujours.''
** Translation: I am going, but the State shall always remain.
** Who: [[Louis XIV]] of France
*** Note: Another biographer has him saying &quot;Why do you weep? Did you think I was immortal?&quot;.

* I die innocent of all the crimes laid to my charge; I Pardon those who have occasioned my death; and I pray to God that the blood you are going to shed may never be visited on France.
** Who: [[w:Louis XVI|Louis XVI]] of France, d. January 21, 1793
*** Note: He was executed by guillotine.

* A King should die standing.
** Who: [[w:Louis XVIII|Louis XVIII]], King of France, d. 1824
*** Note: Louis XVIII suffered from a severe case of gout, which worsened over the years. At the end of his life, the King was wheelchair-bound most of the time.

* Sometimes the pain is unbearable.
** Who: [[w: H.P. Lovecraft|Howard Phillips Lovecraft]], American author considered to be one of the most significant 20th-century authors in his genre.
*** Note: He spent the last few years of his life dying of malnourishment and cancer of the small intestine.

* Tell them, I died game.
** Who: [[w:Frank Gardiner–Ben Hall gang|Fred Lowry]], Australian bushranger d. 1863
*** Note: Lowry died from his wounds after shootout with Police near Crookwell, New South Wales.

* Never drive at night.
** Who: [[w:Joseph Lucas|Joseph Lucas]], &quot;The Prince of Darkness&quot;, Founder of [[w:Lucas Industries|Lucas Industries]], manufacturer of automotive electrical components such as alternators, headlights, etc. which were notorious for unreliability in the early days of automotive engineering.

* ''Wir sind Bettler... hoc est verum.''
** Translation: We are beggars: this is true.
** Who: [[Martin Luther]]
*** Note: The phrase &quot;We are beggars&quot; is in German, whereas &quot;this is true&quot; is in Latin.

* Life! 
** Who: [[w:Peg Lynch|Peg Lynch]], actress and comedienne. [http://www.peglynch.com/biography/]

=M=
* Boy, fetch my fiddle.
** Who: [[Robert Roy MacGregor]], Scottish folk hero and outlaw.

* [''Niece: &quot;What is the matter, Uncle James?&quot;''] Nothing more than a change of mind, my dear.
** Who: [[James Madison]], 4th President of the United States.
*** Note: Some accounts have his final words written as &quot;I always talk better lying down.&quot;

* ''Mozart! Mozart!''
** Who: [[Gustav Mahler]], according to his wife, Alma.

* ''¡Esto lo ha dispuesto así el Dios de Israel para verme cara a cara desde el cielo!''
** Translation: This is how the God of Israel has arranged to see me face to face from heaven!
** Who: [[w:Francisco Maldonado da Silva|Francisco Maldonado]], a Jewish surgeon and writer killed during the Peruvian Inquisition.
*** Note: On the day of his execution, a great storm devastated Lima.
*** The ''Jewish Encyclopedia'' gives his last words as, This is the will of the Lord. I shall see the God of Israel face to face.[http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/view.jsp?artid=715&amp;letter=S]

* Cheerio!
** Who: Gangster Antonio Mancini when [[Albert Pierrepoint]] had put the noose on his neck.

* I'm okay!
** Who: [[w:Field Marshal|Field Marshal]] [[w:Sam Manekshaw|Sam Hormusji Framji Jamshedji Manekshaw]], the first of only two Indian military officers to hold the highest rank of Field Marshal in the [[w:Indian Army|Indian Army]].

* I'm the most famous human being not only that is alive but the most famous human being that has ever lived. And I'm not even dead yet. What do you think is gonna happen when I die?
** Who: [[Charles Manson]], American cult leader and musician

* ''Aidez-moi, ma chère amie!''
** Translation: Help me, my dear friend!
** Who: [[Jean-Paul Marat]], Jacobin publisher of ''L'Ami du Peuple'' (The People's Friend), just after being stabbed by Charlotte Corday

* I feel great.
** Who: [[w:Pete Maravich|Pete Maravich]], American basketball player
*** Note: Said seconds before his death at a pickup basketball game.

* After opening the [[w:Flamingo Las Vegas|@FlamingoVegas]] 71 years ago this week, I always considered myself a Flamingo Girl, and worked there many times. I worked other casino showrooms, but only after I made sure it was okay with &quot;the boys&quot; at the Flamingo.
** Who: [[w:Rose Marie|Rose Marie]], American entertainer; last tweet on her Twitter account before her death was reported via the same medium four hours later.

* Money can't buy life.
* On your way up, please take me up, on your way down, don't let me down.
** Who: [[Bob Marley]], Jamaican musician. Spoken to his sons Stephen &amp; Ziggy.

* Jesus Christ was put to death on the false testimony of those who received money in exchange for the lies they told. Just the same, the state of Ohio has succeeded in its quest for my life by way of perjured testimony and false witnesses who were paid to tell the lies they did. However, there has never been any hate nor desire of revenge in my heart for them, for I know God will repay those for each and every one of their sins that have gone forgotten.
** Who: [[w:Ernest Martin (murderer)|Ernest Martin]], American murderer executed June 18, 2003 for the murder of [[Cleveland]]-area store owner Robert Robinson.
*** Note: In the death chamber, Martin spoke about three minutes in what prison officials said was the longest final statement by a condemned inmate since Ohio resumed executions in 1999. The statements were not recorded. Here are some excerpts as transcribed by prison officials: &quot;I know that God is in control and those who are here are not responsible. Just as Jesus Christ was lied on and slandered, so I have been treated the same way. I have no hatred. I know God is in control and I pray that he will forgive us of our sins, forgive the media people watching of their sins and all that they have done. As the Bible says, let those without sin cast the first stone. God forgave us all. To my family, I love you all. I know I did not live a good life. Thank God for allowing my sister and nephew to be here and brother Morgan for his support. Hug Momma for me. Take care family. Take care media. God bless you all.&quot;[http://www.clarkprosecutor.org/html/death/US/martin859.htm]

* Gentlemen, the uh, camper and the car sitting over to the south of me is covered. It's gonna get me, too. I can't get out of here...
** Who: HAM radio operator Jerry Martin.
*** Note: The final transmission of Jerry Martin, reporting on the eruption of [[Mount St. Helens]] {{cite |title=Memories, lessons from mountain's fury |author=Andre Stepankowsky |publisher=The Daily News |place=Longview, WA |date=17 May 2005 |accessdate=9 August 2010}}

* Die, my dear? Why, that's the last thing I'll do!
** Who: [[Groucho Marx]], American comedian and actor.

* Продолжай, убирайся! Последние слова для дураков, которые не сказали достаточно! (''Prodolzhay, ubiraysya! Posledniye slova dlya durakov, kotoryye ne skazali dostatochno!'')
** Translation: Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven't said enough!
** Who: [[Karl Marx]], asked by his housekeeper what his last words were.

* When I am dead, you will find Philip and Calais engraved on my heart.
** Who: [[Mary I of England]], related to her husband and the loss of Calais to France

* ''In manus tuas domine confido spiritum meum.''
** Translation: Into your hands, O Lord, I commend my spirit
** Who: [[w:Mary I of Scotland|Mary I of Scotland]]
** See also: [[Jesus]]

* All right.
** Who: [[w:Bat Masterson|William Barclay &quot;Bat&quot; Masterson]], former Wild West gunfighter; he was asked by a fellow reporter of the New York Morning Telegraph about his health after he had been ill with a cold.
*** Note: His last written words, on his note pad for the column he was writing, were, No wonder these birds are flying high when they get that kind of money for an hour's work. Just think of an honest, hard-working farmer laboring from daylight to dark for forty years of his life, and lucky if he finishes with as much as one of these birds gets in an hour. Yet there are those who argue that everything breaks even in this old dump of a world of ours. I suppose these ginks who argue that way hold that because the rich man gets ice in the summer and the poor man gets it in the winter things are breaking even for both. Maybe so, but I'll swear I can't see it that way.

* Never again. Never again.
** Who: [[w:Bill Masterton|Bill Masterton]]
*** Note: Said after he fell backwards and hit his head on the ice after being checked and lost consciousness, and died two days later. He wasn't wearing a helmet at the time; it would be 11 years before the NHL made helmets mandatory. He is currently the only NHL player to die from injuries sustained on the ice.

* ''Perdono a todos y pido a todos que me perdonen y que mi sangre, que está a punto de ser vertida, se derrame para el bien de este país. Voy a morir por una causa justa, la de la independencia y libertad de México. ¡Que mi sangre selle las desgracias de mi nueva patria! ¡Viva México!''
** Translation: I forgive everyone, beg that everyone forgives me as well, and wish that my blood, that is going to be shed now, will benefit the country. Long live Mexico!
** Who: Emperor [[w:Maximilian of Mexico|Maximilian of Mexico]] (executed)

* It wasn't worth it.
** Who: [[w:Louis B. Mayer|Louis B. Mayer]], film producer, d. October 29, 1957

* Goodbye to all my dear friends and family that I love. Today is the day I have chosen to pass away with dignity in the face of my terminal illness, this terrible brain cancer that has taken so much from me... but would have taken so much more. The world is a beautiful place, travel has been my greatest teacher, my close friends and folks are the greatest givers. I even have a ring of support around my bed as I type... Goodbye world. Spread good energy. Pay it forward!
** Who: [[w:Brittany Maynard|Brittany Maynard]], American woman with terminal brain cancer who decided that she would end her own life &quot;when the time seemed right.&quot;
*** Note: Maynard, who advocated for the legalization of aid in dying, wrote this as her final post on Facebook before she took her own life.

* I wish I could be with you all today. This is where I'm from. I had my first pro hit here at Rickwood as a Baron in 1948. And now this year, 76 years later, it finally got counted in the record books. Some things take time, but I always think better late than never. Time changes things. Time heals wounds, and that is a good thing. I had some of the best times of my life in Birmingham so I want you to have this clock to remember those times with me and remember all the other players who were lucky enough to play here at Rickwood Field and Birmingham. Remember, time is on your side.
** Who: [[Willie Mays]], American baseball player.
*** Note: Statement given to his longtime friend and longtime MLB manager, [[w:Dusty Baker|Dusty Baker]] on the day before his death.

* Do not despair of our present difficulties but believe always in the promise and greatness of America, because nothing is inevitable here. Americans never quit. We never surrender. We never hide from history. We make history. Farewell, fellow Americans. God bless you, and God bless America.
** Who: [[John McCain]], U.S. Navy officer, Senator from Arizona and 2008 Republican nominee for President.
*** From a statement prepared during the final days of his life, near the end of a prolonged bout with glioblastoma, and released posthumously.

* I have had a happy life and thank the Lord. Goodbye and may God bless all!
** Who: [[w:Christopher McCandless|Chris McCandless]], American wanderer and subject of the book ''[[w:Into the Wild|Into the Wild]]''. He wrote a final note on a page from Louis L'Amour's book, ''Education of a Wandering Man'', before dying of starvation on August 18th, 1992.

* Daddy flight, save your auxiliary tanks.
** Who: [[w:Thomas McGuire|Thomas McGuire]], fighter ace.
*** Note: He attempted to dogfight a Japanese [[w:Nakajima Ki-43|Nakajima Ki-43]] fighter aircraft on low altitude having failed to dump his aircraft's auxiliary tanks, with disastrous results - his aircraft stalled and crashed due to extra weight of the tanks.

* Good-bye, good-bye all. It's God's way. His will, not ours, be done.
** Who: [[William McKinley]], 25th President of the United States, assassinated in 1901

* Hold on, timeout for a second.
** Who: [[w:John McSherry|John McSherry]], Major League Baseball umpire.
*** Note: McSherry said these words to Cincinnati Reds catcher Eddie Taubensee during the first inning of the 1996 Opening Day game between the Reds and Montreal Expos in Cincinnati. Moments later, while walking towards the tunnel leading to the umpires' dressing room, McSherry suffered a massive heart attack and collapsed. He was pronounced dead at a nearby hospital about an hour later.

* We are holding our own.
** Who: [[w:Ernest M. McSorley|Ernest M. McSorley]], last captain of the ill-fated Laker-type freighter ''SS Edmund Fitzgerald''.
*** Note: McSorley was captain of the 729-foot Great Lakes freighter ''[[w:SS Edmund Fitzgerald|Edmund Fitzgerald]],'' which was in a storm on Lake Superior. Soon after he said these words, the ship sank and all twenty-nine men aboard were killed.

* I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul.
** Who: [[w:Timothy McVeigh|Timothy McVeigh]], perpetrator of the [[w:Oklahoma City bombing|Oklahoma City bombing]].
*** Note: McVeigh chose to quote the final stanza from the poem &quot;Invictus&quot; by William Ernest Henley as his final words before being executed by lethal injection on June 11, 2001.

* God bless Captain Vere!
** Who: [[Herman Melville]], author of [[Moby-Dick]]
*** Note: A reference from his then-unpublished novel Billy Budd, which was discovered on his desk after he died.

* Thank you.
** Who: [[Freddie Mercury]], lead singer of the British rock group [[w:Queen (band)|Queen]].&lt;ref&gt;https://gazette.com/news/queen-glamazon-freddie-mercury-s-long-time-assistant-reflects-on/article_7756562a-7ea9-5aa8-aee2-e46cf449fc97.html&lt;/ref&gt;&lt;ref&gt;https://au.news.yahoo.com/rahni-sadler-reports-freddie-mercurys-last-words-24244400.html&lt;/ref&gt;.&lt;ref&gt;https://au.news.yahoo.com/rahni-sadler-reports-freddie-mercurys-last-words-24244400.html&lt;/ref&gt;

* &quot;Where are my equipment cooling circuit breakers?&quot;
** Who: Hans-Jürgen Merten, captain of [[w:Helios Airways Flight 522|Helios Airways Flight 522]]
***Note: Shortly after the flight took off, the cabin began to depressurize, as the pressurisation system had not been set to &quot;auto&quot; after a pressurization leak check before takeoff. The flight crew, unaware of the issue, began to suffer from hypoxia. It is believed that Merten's last communication was made while suffering hypoxia's initial symptoms.

* It's all been rather lovely.
** Who: [[w:John Le Mesurier|John Le Mesurier]], before slipping into a final coma.

*V-1.
** Who: Klaas Meurs
*** Note: Klaas Meurs was the First Officer of [[w:Tenerife airport disaster|KLM Flight 4805]], which crashed on take-off on March 27th 1977, killing 583 people when it collided with a Pan Am Boeing 747, killing all 248 on Flight 4805 (including Meurs) and 335 on the Pan Am Aircraft. His last words of &quot;V-1&quot; where the Aviation terminology used when an Aircraft is going too fast to cancel the take-off and must take-off. Eight seconds later, both planes collided.

* ''Io do la mia anima a Dio, il mio corpo alla terra, e i miei beni terreni al mio parente più prossimo, caricandoli per ricordare le sofferenze di Gesù Cristo.''
** Translation: I give my soul to God, my body to the Earth, and my worldly possessions to my nearest of kin, charging them to remember the sufferings of Jesus Christ.
** Who: [[Michelangelo]], Italian sculptor, painter, architect, poet, and engineer of the High Renaissance who exerted an unparalleled influence on the development of Western art.

*Fandemonium.
** Who: [[w:Van Miller|Van Miller]], American radio and television sports announcer.
*** Note: Miller had been rendered unable to speak due to a stroke a week prior to his death and had been suffering from declining function for several months. That single word, a signature call of his from the 1990s, was reportedly the only thing he said after the stroke and before his death, as reported by a former co-worker of Miller's, [[w:WIVB-TV|WIVB-TV]]'s Jacquie Walker.

*Come on out.
** Who: [[Spike Milligan]], British comedian.

*Oh God, no! Help! Someone help!
** Who: [[w:Sal Mineo|Sal Mineo]], American actor.
*** Note: Stabbed to death.

* 動けない... (''Ugokenai...'')
** Translation: Cannot move...
** Who: [[w:Mitsuharu Misawa|Mitsuharu Misawa]], Japanese professional wrestler
*** Note: Misawa had taken a belly-to-back suplex from [[w:Akitoshi Saito|Akitoshi Saito]]. When the referee asked whether or not he could move, Misawa replied with the above response. Afterwards, he lost consciousness and was later taken to the hospital, where he died. The official cause of death was listed as a cervical spinal cord injury.

* 彼らは私のことを聞いたとは思わない。 (''Karera wa watashi no koto o kiita to wa omowanai.'')
** Translation: I don't think they even heard me.
** Who: [[Yukio Mishima]] (pseudonym of Kimitake Hiraoka), moments before committing ritual suicide ([[w:seppuku|seppuku]])
*** Note: He had addressed the garrison at the Ichigaya Camp, the Tokyo headquarters of the Eastern Command of Japan's Self-Defense Forces, while his followers, the [[w:Tatenokai|Tatenokai]] or &quot;Shield Society&quot;, held the Commander hostage. Mishima encouraged the soldiers to launch a military coup and restore the traditional powers of the Emperor. They responded with mocking jeers. Mishima shouted &quot;Long Live the Emperor!&quot; three times, went back inside, and spoke his last words under his breath before performing the ritual self-disembowelment. One of Mishima's followers, a 25-year-old named Masakatsu Morita, tried three times to ritually behead Mishima but failed; his head was finally severed by Hiroyasu Koga.

* It tastes bad.
** Who: [[w:Margaret Mitchell|Margaret Mitchell]], upon being given a drink of orange juice while convalescing in a hospital.

* Why should I talk to you? I've just been talking with your boss.
** Who: [[Wilson Mizner]], after talking to a priest.

* What the hell are we into? We're stuck in it!
** Who: Sten Molin, first officer aboard [[w:American Airlines Flight 587|American Airlines Flight 587]]
** Note: Said as the flight spun out of control following the separation of the stabilizer from the airplane. The plane crashed nine seconds later, killing all 260 passengers and crew (plus five civilians on the ground).

* I regret that I should leave this world without again beholding him.
** Who: [[James Monroe]], 5th President of the United States.
*** Note: Spoken to a friend about James Madison.

* Say good-bye to [[w:Patricia Kennedy Lawford|Pat]], say good-bye to [[John F. Kennedy|Jack]] and say good-bye to [[w:Peter Lawford|yourself]], because you're a nice guy.
** Who: [[Marilyn Monroe]] to actor Peter Lawford.

* It has all been very interesting.
** Who: [[w:Lady Mary Wortley Montagu|Lady Mary Wortley Montagu]], English aristocrat, letter writer and poet.
** Source: [[w:Clifton Fadiman|Clifton Fadiman]], ''Some Passing Remarks on Some Passing Remarks''

* Well, now I must go to meet God and try to explain all those men I killed at Alamein.
** Who: [[Bernard Montgomery]], British military commander of World War II.

* If you don't like it, you can fuck off!
** Who: [[w:Keith Moon|Keith Moon]], drummer for the British rock group [[w:The Who|The Who]]. He asked his girlfriend to cook him breakfast, but she complained and that made him angry. He died approximately six hours later.

* I can hear the music all around me.
** Who: [[w:Dudley Moore|Dudley Moore]], British actor.

*Mama.
** Who: [[w:Agnes Moorehead|Agnes Moorehead]], American actress.

* I need Kleenex.
** Who: [[w:Erin Moran|Erin Moran]], American actress.
** Likely written or typed, as Moran, due to throat cancer, had lost the ability to speak two months prior. She lost consciousness and died before her husband could return with the tissues.

* I think we're off here.
** Who: [[w:Lewis Moran|Lewis Moran]], Australian underworld figure.
** Lewis Moran was drinking at a bar with his friend and associate Bert Wrout. He knew he was a potential target for assassination as his two sons, Jason and Mark, were killed years before. He spotted the gunmen entering the bar and calmly uttered those final words (&quot;off&quot; being an underworld slang for &quot;dead&quot;) before being shot in the head. Wrout was also shot, but survived.

* Shoot straight, you bastards! Don't make a mess of it.
** Who: [[w:Harry 'Breaker' Morant|Harry Morant]]
*** Note: Morant was court-martialed and executed by the British, charged with killing Boer prisoners. To the end he claimed to have been following orders.

* This hath not offended the king.
** Who: [[Thomas More]] at the execution block, moving his beard out of the way.

* I'm glad that's over.
** Who: [[w:Eric Morecambe|Eric Morecambe]], after going off stage after a solo performance at Stan Stennett's theatre, Tewkesbury, May 28, 1984.

* ''Señor, si he hecho bien, tú lo sabes, si mal, me acojo a tu misericordia.''
** Translation: Lord, if I have done well, You know it; if bad, I take refuge in Your infinite mercy.
** Who: [[w:José María Morelos|José María Morelos]], Mexican independence fighter (executed)

* ''Dios no muere!''
** Translation: God does not die!
** Who: [[w:Gabriel García Moreno|Gabriel García Moreno]], President of Ecuador
** Context: He had been attacked by assassins and had spoken these words after his attack. He reportedly had a favorite saying: &quot;I am only a man who can be killed and replaced, but God does not die.&quot;

*Pam, are you still there?
**Who: [[Jim Morrison]], American poet and lead singer of the [[w:The Doors|Doors]]
**Spoken to his girlfriend [[w:Pamela Courson|Pamela Courson]] from the bathtub of his Paris apartment. He died there shortly thereafter.

*I should have asked for a stunt double!
**Who: [[w:Vic Morrow|Vic Morrow]], American actor
**Morrow said this before filming a challenging scene for ''Twilight Zone: The Movie'' with two children and a helicopter. During filming, the helicopter lost control, and fell on the actors. He and one of the two children were decapitated while the other was crushed by the falling helicopter.

* אשריך ישראל מי כמוך עם נושע ביהוה מגן עזרך ואשר־חרב גאותך ויכחשו איביך לך ואתה על־במותימו תדרך (''Cht'ashreicha yisra'el mi chamocha, am nosha ba-YHWH, magen ezrecha, va'asher-cherev ga'avatecha; veyikkachashu oyeveicha lach, ve'attah al-bamoteimo tidroch.'')
**Translation: Blessed are you, O Israel! Who is like you, a people saved by Yahweh? He is your shield and helper and your glorious sword. Your enemies will cower before you, and you will trample down their high places.
** Who: [[w:Moses|Moses]]
*** See also: [[Moses]]

* You take me back to Eagle Bridge and you'll get back your stethoscope.
** Who: [[Grandma Moses]], spoken to the physician whose stethoscope she took.

* ''Der Geschmack des Todes ist auf meinen Lippen... Ich fühle etwas, das nicht von dieser Erde ist.''
** Translation: The taste of death is upon my lips...I feel something, that is not of this earth.
** Who: [[Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart]]

* .اللَّهُمَّ الرَّفِيقَ الأَعْلَى. اللَّهُمَّ الرَّفِيقَ الأَعْلَى. اللَّهُمَّ الرَّفِيقَ الأَعْلَى (''allāhumma al-rafīq al-'a'lā. allāhumma al-rafīq al-'a'lā. allāhumma al-rafīq al-'a'lā.'')
** Translation: O Allah, the highest companions. O Allah, the highest companions. O Allah, the highest companions.
** Who: [[Muhammad]], Prophet of God in Islam

* ''Empiezo a creer que no pretendes contarme entre tus amigos.''
** Translation: I am starting to believe you are not intending to count me amongst your friends.
** Who: [[Pedro Muñoz Seca]] – Spanish playwright
** Context: Said when he was about to be executed by a squad during the Spanish Civil War.

* أنا سوف تغطى جلادي. (''ana sawf tughtaa jaladi.'')
** Translation: I shall overlive my executioner.
** Who: [[w:Omar Mukhtar|Omar Mukhtar]] (also Omar al-Mukhtar), Leader of the Libyan Resistance before being hanged by the Italian fascist Army in Libya, (16 September 1931).

* ''Soldati! Fai il tuo dovere! Dritto al cuore ma risparmia il viso. Fuoco!''
** Translation: Soldiers! Do your duty! Straight to the heart but spare the face. Fire!
** Who: [[w:Joachim Murat|Joachim Murat]], King of Naples sentenced to death for treason during the Napoleonic Wars.

*Mom, I'm dying.
**Who: [[w:Brittany Murphy|Brittany Murphy]], American actress.

* أنا مجروح، أنا مجروح، معدتي (''&lt;nowiki&gt;'&lt;/nowiki&gt;ana majruh, 'ana majruh, mu'adati'')
** Translation: I am wounded, I am wounded, my stomach.
** Who: [[w:Yaser Murtaja|Yaser Murtaja]], a journalist killed by Israeli forces during the [[w:2018 Gaza border protests|2018 Gaza border protests]].

* ''Sparami nel petto!''
** Translation: Shoot me in the chest!
** Who: [[Benito Mussolini]], just as he was shot by a partisan leader.

* Well, this is certainly a pleasant surprise.
** Who: [[w:Andrew Mutton|Andrew Mutton]]. (A mobster whose car was riddled with starter motor problems, remarked to his associate when the car started successfully first go. Moments later a bomb rigged to the ignition exploded, killing Andrew and wounding his associate)

=N=
* ''Biraz dinleneyim!''
** Translation: Let me rest a bit!
** Who: [[w:Namık Kemal|Namık Kemal]], Turkish poet

* Hello, brother.
** Who: [[w:Christchurch mosque shootings|Haji-Daoud Nabi]]
*** Note: Said to Christchurch mosque shooter Brenton Tarrant, just before he opened fire. Nabi was the first victim of the shootings.

* ''Demek ki böyle ölünürmüş.''
** Translation: So, this is how we die.
** Who: [[w:Necip Fazıl Kısakürek|Necip Fazıl Kısakürek]], Turkish poet

* Некоторая бабочка уже на крыле. (''Nekotoraya babochka uzhe na kryle'') 
** Translation: A certain butterfly is already on the wing.
** Who: [[Vladimir Nabokov]], poet.

* ''Lenger og lenger mot nord...''
** Translation: Further and further to the north...
** Who: [[Fridtjof Nansen]], Norwegian explorer, scientist, diplomat, humanitarian and Nobel Peace Prize laureate.
*** Note: The first sentence is commonly acknowledged version. The second one is according to his daughter.

* ''N'est-il pas vrai que nous n'étions pas lâches à Sedan?''
** Translation: Isn't it true that we weren't cowards at Sedan?
** Who: [[Napoleon III]], Emperor and founder of the Second French Empire, and last Emperor and monarch of France.

* Thank God I have done my duty...Drink drink, fan fan, rub rub.
** Who: British Vice Admiral [[Horatio Nelson]]; This is recorded definitively in an account by Nelson's ship surgeon, Dr. William Beatty. That Nelson said &quot;Kiss me, Hardy&quot;, often believed to be &quot;Kismet, Hardy&quot; in his last hours, after being mortally wounded is extensively documented in contemporary accounts, including that of people actually present. That they were not his actual ''last'' words is also extensively documented, though not as clearly in many popular accounts, and they have commonly been mistaken as being his last words. (for more on this see: [[Talk:Horatio Nelson]]) The latter clause mentions how hot and thirsty he was when dying.

* Hit me one more time and make it good.
** Who: [[w:Dominick Napolitano|Dominick Napolitano]], American mobster
*** Note: Napolitano was sentenced to death by the Mafia for having failed to prevent the infiltration of the Bonanno crime family by FBI informant [[w:Donnie Brasco|Donnie Brasco]]. Napolitano knew he was going to be killed, and he was led into a house where he was shot with a revolver. When the first shot misfired, he uttered those words before being killed.

* I don't know what I may seem to the world. But as to myself I seem to have been only a boy playing on the seashore and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.
** Who: [[Isaac Newton]], British physicist, mathematician and astronomer.

* I am in the land of the dying, and I am soon going to the land of the living.
** Who: [[John Newton]], Anglican preacher, abolitionist, and writer of &quot;Amazing Grace.&quot; 

* ''Nei myn Hear ta.''
** Translation: To my [[God|Lord]].
** Who: [[Pier Gerlofs Donia]], legendary Frisian freedom fighter and giant folk hero
*** Note: After an old enemy of Pier Gerlofs asked him where he'd want to go in afterlife, he answered in Frisian that he wanted to go to his Lord in Heaven. After he'd said this, his condition got worse and he passed away.

* ''Sero. Haec est fides.''
** Translation: It is too late. This is fidelity.
** Who: [[Nero]], Roman emperor.
** Some accounts also have his last words as being &quot;What an artist that dies in me&quot; (&quot;Qualis artifex pereo!&quot;)
*** Note: This was said when after he committed suicide he saw a guard, who may have been part of the assassination, running toward him thinking he was coming to rescue him.

* ''Les soldats, quand je donne l'ordre de tirer, tirent directement sur mon cœur. Attendez la commande. Ce sera mon dernier pour toi. Je proteste contre ma condamnation. J'ai combattu cent batailles pour la France, et pas une contre elle ... Soldats! Feu!''
** Translation: Soldiers, when I give the command to fire, fire straight at my heart. Wait for the order. It will be my last to you. I protest against my condemnation. I have fought a hundred battles for France, and not one against her... Soldiers! Fire!
** Who: [[w:Michel Ney|Michel Ney]]
*** Note: Said before being executed by firing squad following the defeat of his supreme leader, [[w:Napoleon I of France|Napoleon Bonaparte]]. He had been offered a last request, and had asked for the right to give the firing squad the order to fire.

* Какие? Какие? (''Kakiye? Kakiye?'')
** Translation: What?! What?!
** Who: [[w:Nicholas II of Russia|Nicholas II of Russia]]
*** Note: In the early morning of July 17, 1918, Tsar Nicholas II and his family were led by the Bolsheviks to the half-basement room at the back of the Ipatiev house in hopes that they would be safe from the anti-Bolsheviks' attack on the house. When they were informed that they were condemned to death by the Ural Soviet of Workers' Deputies, his stunning reaction was his final word before he turned to the family and got shot to death in the chest; the rest of the family soon followed him in death.

* No, not here!
** Who: Anthony Nightingale, victim of the [[w:Port Arthur massacre (Australia)|Port Arthur massacre]]
*** Note: Nightingale yelled these words as the gunman, Martin Bryant pointed his weapon at him. Bryant then killed Nightingale with a shot to the neck.

* I love you so much.
** Who: [[w:Harry Nilsson|Harry Nilsson]]
*** Note: Said to his wife before going to sleep and dying from heart failure.

* A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP
** Who: [[Leonard Nimoy]]
*** Note: Final public words, sent in the form of a tweet. The abbreviation ''LLAP'' at the end of the quotation stands for &quot;[[w:Vulcan salute|Live long and prosper]]&quot;, a phrase popularized by Nimoy's character [[w:Spock|Spock]] on ''[[w:Star Trek|Star Trek]]''.

* Help.
** Who: [[Richard Nixon]], 37th President of the United States
*** Note: Said to a housekeeper as he had a stroke. Though he remained alert for a period of time after he was taken to the hospital, he was unable to speak.

* ''Demain, je ne serai plus là.''
** Translation: Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here.
** Who: [[Nostradamus]]

* I don't age—I level up.
** Who: [[Chuck Norris]]
*** Note: From a video recorded shortly before his death. A reference to the tongue-in-cheek [[w:Chuck Norris facts|Chuck Norris facts]] phenomenon.

=O=
* I am just going outside. I may be some time.
** Who: Captain [[Lawrence Oates]], on [[Robert Falcon Scott]]'s ill-fated Antarctic expedition, while suffering from frostbite and sheltering from a blizzard, Oates felt he was decreasing his companions' chances of survival. Oates voluntarily left the tent; it was his 32nd birthday. He was never seen again.
** Quoted in R. F. Scott's diary, published as ''Scott's Last Expedition'', ch.20

* ''Más totopos.''
** Translation: More totopos.
** Who: [[w:Álvaro Obregón|Álvaro Obregón]], Mexican politician.
** Obregón was sitting in a restaurant, and is said to have asked for more totopos (tortilla chips) a few seconds before being shot.

* What do I tell the pilot to do?
** Who: [[w:Barbara Olson|Barbara Olson]], American lawyer.
*** Note: A victim of the 9/11 attacks, Olson spoke her last words to her husband into her cell phone from inside a locked airplane lavatory.

* ''¿Para qué? Estoy bien al nivel de los fusiles.''
** Translation: Why? I'm right at the height of the rifles.
** Who: [[w:Melchor Ocampo|Melchor Ocampo]], Mexican politician, known for his anticlerical ideas
*** Note: Ocampo was rounded up by conservative rebels and sentenced to death. He spoke these words after his executioner ordered him to kneel.

* I'd like to thank the Academy for my lifetime achievement award that I will eventually get.
** Who: [[w:Donald O'Connor|Donald O'Connor]], American actor, dancer and singer

* ''Do dupy.''
** Translation: This sucks.
** Who: [[w:Agnieszka Osiecka|Agnieszka Osiecka]], Polish poet and writer.
** To her children on her deathbed. http://www.niniwa2.cba.pl/warszawka-osieckaagnieszka.html.

* Going down, 1862, going down, going down, copied, going down?
** Who: Arnon Ohad.
*** Note: Ohad was aboard [[w:El Al Flight 1862|El Al Flight 1862]], which crashed into a Dutch apartment complex on October 4, 1992. Ohad spoke these words while communicating with air traffic control.

* This isn't ''Hamlet'', you know. It's not meant to go into the bloody ear.
** Who: [[Laurence Olivier]]
*** Note: Supposedly said this when a nurse, attempting to moisten his lips, mis-aimed. In [[Shakespeare]]'s play ''Hamlet'', the title character's father is killed when poison is dripped into his ear while asleep.

* Yo, what the fuck is going on?
* Yo, what the fuck?
* Yo, what the fuck is happening?
** Who: Jahseh Dwayne Ricardo Onfroy, aka [[w:XXXTentacion|XXXTentacion]].
*** Note: Claimed last words according to somebody who witnessed Onfroy's murder.&lt;ref&gt;https://www.reddit.com/r/XXXTENTACION/comments/8sdgi6/this_what_one_of_the_witnesses_said_about_xs_last/&lt;/ref&gt; Precisely which one of these statements the witness heard is unknown.

* Pray for us. Pray for us.
** Who: [[w:Betty Ong|Betty Ong]], American Airlines flight attendant
*** Note: Ong was a flight attendant on American Airlines Flight 11 on September 11, 2001 who notified the American Airlines ground crew when the plane was hijacked and stayed on the telephone for the final 25 minutes of the flight until the plane crashed into the North Tower of the World Trade Center.

* I am in some pain... my hearing and speech are very poor.
** Who: [[J. Robert Oppenheimer]], American theoretical physicist.
*** Note: Written in a note a few days before he died.

* We still have a lot of work to do together—there is much catching up to keep us busy for a very long time.
** Who: [[w:Alan Osmond|Alan Osmond]], American musician.
*** In reference to his brother and collaborator [[w:Wayne Osmond|Wayne Osmond]], who had died a year prior.&lt;ref&gt;[https://www.abc4.com/news/wasatch-front/alon-osmond-dies-77/ Alan Osmond, Eldest Brother of the Osmonds and Renowned Performer, Dies at 76]&lt;/ref&gt;

* Fuck! Oh God... Oh!
** Who: [[w:Lee Harvey Oswald|Lee Harvey Oswald]], American Marxist and assassin of President John F. Kennedy
*** Note: His last recorded words.  Oswald was being escorted for transport to a prison following his arrest for assassinating John F. Kennedy. A crowd had gathered around his envoy to photograph the president's assassin, when [[w:Jack Ruby|Jack Ruby]] emerged and shot Oswald once in the chest.  He later died in the hospital where Kennedy had been declared dead two days earlier. Prior to the attempted transport, his last statement was &quot;I want to see the American Civil Liberties Union.&quot;&lt;ref&gt;{{cite book | url=https://books.google.com/books?id=Dl21EAAAQBAJ | isbn=978-1-4549-1269-9 | title=Lee Harvey Oswald: 48 Hours to Live: Oswald, Kennedy, and the Conspiracy that Will Not die | date=5 November 2013 | publisher=Union Square &amp; Co.|page=[https://books.google.com/books?id=Dl21EAAAQBAJpg=PT121 121] }}&lt;/ref&gt;

* I knew it! I knew it! Born in a hotel room, and goddamn it, dying in a hotel room!
** Who: [[Eugene O'Neill]], American Nobel-prize winning playwright

* Send my love to Irene. Love that leather jacket. I'll come into the studio if you need my time. Talk to you later, bye.
** Who: [[w:Dolores O'Riordan|Dolores O'Riordan]], lead vocalist of [[w:The Cranberries|The Cranberries]].
*** Note: This was a voicemail to her manager, Dan Waite. She died merely hours later from accidental drowning in a bathtub due to sedation by alcohol intoxication.

* I love you.
** Who: Poltergeist child actress [[w:Heather O'Rourke|Heather O'Rourke]] to her mother.

=P=
* Yes, no last words.
** Who: [[w:Elijah Page|Elijah Page]]
*** Note: Executed by injection in South Dakota.

* Iran is Iran.
* Its land, people, and history...Every Iranian has to love it. 
* Iran is Iran.
**Who: [[Mohammad Reza Pahlavi]], the last Shah of Iran
***Note: The Shah, on his hospital bed, was asked to describe his feelings for Iran and its people and to define the country. The Shah, a fervent nationalist, responded with the above statements. He continued on to repeat &quot;Iran is Iran&quot; over and over, before slipping into a final coma.&lt;ref&gt;{{cite book |last1=Cooper |first1=Andrew |title=The Fall of Heaven |page=499}}&lt;/ref&gt;

* Let me have none of your popish stuff. Get away with you. Good morning.
** Who: [[w:Thomas Paine|Thomas Paine]], pamphleteer, revolutionary, radical and intellectual. Author of ''Common Sense'', ''The Rights of Man'' and ''The American Crisis''.
*** Note: Spoken to two clergymen who were trying to lead the famous Deist in a deathbed conversion.{{fact}}
*** Also quoted as: I have no wish to believe on that subject.

* Is it safe?
** Who: [[w:William Palmer (murderer)|William Palmer]]
*** Note: Spoken after looking at the gallows trapdoor prior to his execution by hanging.

* Hurry it up, you Hoosier bastard! I could kill a dozen men while you're screwing around!
** Who: [[w:Carl Panzram|Carl Panzram]], serial killer, shortly before he was executed by hanging on September 5, 1930.

* And you all are trying to get more and more people and more business leaders involved in this, and talk about, uh, why it's important to get these business leaders involved.
** Who: [[w:Murders of Alison Parker and Adam Ward|Alison Parker]]
*** Note: Parker was conducting a live interview about upcoming events for the 50th anniversary of Smith Mountain Lake when she was shot several times a couple of seconds after she said the above line. She was pronounced dead at the scene.

* 난 괜찮아. (''Nan gwaenchanha.'')
** Translation: I'm fine.
** Who: [[Park Chung-hee]], 3rd President of South Korea
*** Note: Park uttered the above words after [[w:Assassination of Park Chung-hee|being shot]] by Kim Jae-gyu.

* I wasn't done.
* Who will take care of me now?
** Who: [[w:Jack Parsons|Jack Parsons]], rocket scientist and occultist.

* ''Que Dieu ne m'abandonne jamais.''
** Translation: May God never abandon me.
** Who: [[Blaise Pascal]]

* ''Je ne peux pas.''
** Translation: I cannot.
** Who: [[Louis Pasteur]]
*** Note: His response when he was offered a cup of milk.

* Napoleon was a great man and a great general. He conquered armies and he conquered nations. But he couldn't jump the Genesee Falls. Wellington was a great man and a great soldier. He conquered armies and he conquered Napoleon, but he couldn't jump the Genesee Falls. That was left for me to do, and I can do it and will!
** Who: Sam Patch, American daredevil, prior to fatal leap from Genesee Falls

* This is a hell of a way to die.
** Who: [[w:George S. Patton|George S. Patton]], after being admitted to the hospital after a car accident while out hunting.

* Bring me a tin of caviar.
** Who: [[w:Jennifer Paterson|Jennifer Paterson]], member of the ''Two Fat Ladies''.
*** Paterson died before her co-star, Clarissa Dickson Wright, arrived with the caviar.

* מרן ישוע משׁיחא עם רוחכ טיבותא עמכ אמין (''Maran Yeshu m'shikha am rukhakh taybuta amakh, amin'')
** Translation: The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. Amen.
** Who: [[Paul the Apostle]]
** Traditional closing of Paul's epistles, originally composed in Koine Greek. [[w:Second Epistle to Timothy|2 Timothy]], traditionally the last of Paul's epistles, closes with the variant The Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Grace be with you. Amen.

* ''Penso che una vita vissuta per la musica sia un'esistenza spesa meravigliosamente, e questo è ciò a cui ho dedicato la mia vita.''
** Translation: I believe that a life lived for music is an existence spent wonderfully, and this is what I've dedicated my life to.
** Who: [[Luciano Pavarotti]]

* ''Pak mijn zwanenkostuum klaar. Speel die laatste maat heel zachtjes.''
** Translation: Get my swan costume ready. Play that last measure very softly.
** Who: [[w:Anna Pavlova|Anna Pavlova]]

* I said, never mind.
** Who: [[w:Bill Paxton|Bill Paxton]]

* ''Que Deus me conceda esses últimos desejos - paz e prosperidade para o Brasil.''
** Translation: May God grant me these last wishes—peace and prosperity for Brazil.
** Who: [[w:Pedro II of Brazil|Pedro II of Brazil]], second and last Brazilian emperor

* I've got a hundred feet on the-
** Who: Ronald Penton, Flight Engineer of Flying Tiger Line Flight 66
*** Penton was the Flight Engineer on [[w:Flying Tiger Line Flight 66|Flying Tiger Line Flight 66]] when it crashed into a Hill on approach to Kuala Lumpur on February 19 1989 killing all four on board. It seems that Penton was likely referring to the radio altimeter warning of their imminent impact with the hill.

* Οὐδεὶς γάρ... ἔφη, ‘δι᾽ ἐμὲ τῶν ὄντων Ἀθηναίων μέλαν ἱμάτιον περιεβάλετο. (''Oudeìs gár... éphē, ‘di᾽ emè tôn óntōn Athēnaíōn mélan himátion periebáleto.'')
** Translation: For, no Athenian, through my means, ever wore mourning.
** Who: [[Pericles]],  discussing with his friends what his greatest accomplishment had been

* ''Eva se va.''
** Translation: Eva is leaving.
** Who: [[w:Eva Peron|Eva Perón]], Argentinian First Lady

* Shoot me up with a big one.
** Who: [[Matthew Perry (actor)|Matthew Perry]], Canadian-American actor
*** Note: Instruction given to his assistant, Kenneth Imawasa, to administer a larger than usual dose of ketamine. Imawasa left Perry after administering the ketamine, during which time Perry died in the same hot tub where it was administered.&lt;ref&gt;[https://www.wgrz.com/article/news/nation-world/matthew-perry-final-words-hours-new-details-emerge/507-5eac9df0-908a-4f26-8111-6b3a284faab3?ref=exit-recirc Matthew Perry's last words to assistant revealed as details of star's final days emerge]. ''WGRZ''. Retrieved August 17, 2024.&lt;/ref&gt;

* I know not what tomorrow will bring.
** Who: [[Fernando Pessoa]], Portuguese poet
*** Note: Fernando Pessoa, who was bilingual, wrote his words in English, after losing the ability to speak.

* Я верю, Господь, и признаться, помоги моему неверию. (''Ya veryu, Gospod', i priznat'sya, pomogi moyemu neveriyu.'')
* Оставьте все... (''Ostav'te vse...'')
** Translation:
* I believe, Lord, and confess, help my unbelief.
* Leave all to...
** Who: [[Peter I of Russia]]
*** Note: According to legend, Peter was filled with remorse about his cruelty to his son during his final days, and said the first line as a prayer prior to his death. There is also another legend that he asked for a pen and paper and then wrote the second line before he asked for his daughter to be summoned and later died.

* Запрягайте сани, хочу ехать к сестре. (''Zapryagayte sani, khochu ekhat k sestre.'')
** Translation: Get the sledge ready, I want to go to my sister.
** Who: [[w:Peter II of Russia|Peter II]], Russian emperor
*** Note: His sister, Natalia, had died 14 months before him.

* Larry! We're going down, Larry!
** Who: First Officer Roger Pettit to Captain Larry Wheaton of [[w:Air Florida Flight 90|Air Florida Flight 90]], January 13, 1982.
*** Note: The plane lost altitude after a failed takeoff attempt and struck the 14th Street Bridge over the Potomac River in Washington D.C., killing all but four passengers and one flight attendant. A subsequent investigation determined that the pilots failed to switch on the engines' internal ice protection systems, used reverse thrust in a snow storm prior to takeoff, and failed to abort the takeoff even after detecting a power problem while taxiing and visually identifying ice and snow buildup on the wings.

* Και θα κυβερνάτε καλύτερα? (''Kai tha kyvernáte kalýtera?'')
** Translation: And will you rule better?
** Who: [[w:Phocas|Phocas]], Byzantine Emperor, 602 - 610
** Phocas was defeated by [[w:Heraclius|Heraclius]] in a civil war, and had been abandoned by his supporters as Heraclius and his army arrived at Constantinople. He was captured and brought before the new emperor, who asked him, &quot;Is this how you have ruled, wretch?&quot; When Phocas gave this reply, an enraged Heraclius beheaded him on the spot.

* No paparazzi, I want anonymity.
** Who: [[River Phoenix]]

* ''Chaque foutue chose que vous faites dans cette vie que vous payez.''
** Translation: Every damn fool thing you do in this life you pay for.
** Who: [[w:Edith Piaf|Edith Piaf]]
*** Note: Piaf spoke these words to her sister, standing at her deathbed.

* ''Buvez-moi, buvez à ma santé, vous savez que je ne peux plus boire.''
** Translation: Drink to me, drink to my health, you know I can't drink any more.
** Who: [[Pablo Picasso]]
*** Note: [[Paul McCartney]] paid homage to Picasso in the song [http://www.seeklyrics.com/lyrics/Wings-Paul-Mccartney/Picasso-s-Last-Words-Drink-To-Me.html &quot;Picasso's Last Words (Drink to Me)&quot;], which can be found on the ''[[w:Band on the Run|Band on the Run]]'' album. 

* يا إلهي, أنا ضج. (''Ya 'ilhy, 'ana daj'')
** Translation: God, I'm bored.
** Who: [[w:Harry St. John Philby|Harry St. John Philby]], Arabist and writer, father of spy Kim Philby.

* CQD THIS IS TITANIC CQD THIS IS
** Who: [[w:Jack Phillips (wireless officer)|Jack Phillips]], senior wireless officer of the [[w:Titanic|Titanic]].
** Note: Last distress call sent out by Phillips to nearby ships at 2:17am ship's time. During this transmission, the power went out and the ship began to split apart. Three minutes after the final transmission, the Titanic sank. Phillips' body was never found. (CQD is the discontinued telegraph code for &quot;General Call - Distress&quot;, now replaced with SOS.)

* I'm satisfied with my giving. I don't want a bigger suite or a better parking spot. Or yet another honorary degree. I want championships across the board. I hope you understand why, and I hope we get them while I can still savor the victories.
** Who: [[w:T. Boone Pickens|T. Boone Pickens]], oil magnate
*** Note: From his final letter to Oklahoma State University.

* ''Salten ustedes primero, porque si yo salto con ustedes, el helicóptero les va a caer encima.''
** Translation: You jump first, because if I jump with you, the helicopter will fall on all of us.
** Who: [[Sebastián Piñera]], former President of Chile
*** Note: Piñera was piloting his helicopter across [[w:Lake Ronco|Lake Ronco]] when it crashed, [[w:Death and state funeral of Sebastián Piñera|resulting in his drowning]].

* Lucy...
** Who: [[w:Augusto Pinochet|Augusto Pinochet]], dictator of Chile.
*** Note: He was referring to his wife, [[w:Lucia Hiriart|Lucia Hiriart]].

* Oh, my country! How I leave my country!
** Who: [[William Pitt the Younger]].

* ''Instaurare omnia in Christo.''
** Translation: To restore all things in Christ.
** Who: [[w:Pope St. Pius X|Pope St. Pius X]]

* Call Dr. Horder.
** Who: [[Sylvia Plath]], American poet, novelist, and short-story writer.
&lt;!-- I'm not comfortable with the [http://www.phrases.org.uk/quotes/last-words/suicide-notes.html source] of this, so if anyone can get a better source, I would much appreciate. --&gt;

* I am making my last effort to return that which is divine in me to that which is divine in the Universe.
** Who: [[Plotinus]], Hellenistic philosopher

* Lord help my poor soul.
** Who: [[Edgar Allan Poe]]

* I love you Sarah. For all eternity, I love you.
** Who: [[James K. Polk]], 11th President of the United States
*** Note: He was speaking to his wife on his deathbed.

* You want to go to this party? How about this?
** Who: [[Jackson Pollock]], Abstract painter
*** Note: Spoken to his two passengers moments before he was killed in a single-car accident.

* ''Non ho detto a metà di quello che ho visto.''
** Translation: I have not told half of what I saw.
** Who: [[w:Marco Polo|Marco Polo]], Venetian traveller and writer

* ''Attendez un moment.''
** Translation: Wait a second.
** Who: [[w:Madame de Pompadour|Madame de Pompadour]], chief mistress of Louis XV of France, applying rouge to her cheeks before her death

* Good-bye boys; I die a true American.
** Who: [[w:William Poole|William &quot;Bill the Butcher&quot; Poole]]
*** Note: Poole was a member of the New York City gang the Bowery Boys, a bare-knuckle boxer, and a leader of the Know Nothing political movement in the mid nineteenth century.

* I've got to stop, I don't feel well.
** Who: [[w:Tyrone Power|Tyrone Power]], American actor
*** Note: Power was filming a dueling scene with actor George Sanders in Madrid, Spain for the upcoming film Solomon and Sheba when he was stricken with a heart attack and was pronounced dead on arrival at a hospital a few minutes later.

* ''Suci, Slobodan Praljak nije ratni zločinac, s prijezirom odbacujem vašu presudu.''
* ''To je otrov koji sam popio.''
** Translation:
* Judges, Slobodan Praljak is not a war criminal. With disdain, I reject your verdict!
* This is poison that I drank.
** Who: [[w:Slobodan Praljak|Slobodan Praljak]]
*** Note: Praljak, who was found guilty of crimes during the Croat-Bosniak War and sentenced to 20 years in prison, said the first line above after the judges chose to uphold his sentence. He then pulled out a small bottle filled with cyanide and proceeded to drink its contents. Almost a minute later, he said the second line, which an interpreter translated. The hearings were suspended and Praljak was rushed to the hospital where he died.

* Okay, I won't.
** Who: [[Elvis Presley]]
*** Note: Those were his last words to fiancée Ginger Alden. Prior to this, he told her, &quot;I'm going to the bathroom to read.&quot; As he was on the way to the bathroom, Alden replied, &quot;Don't fall asleep in there.&quot;

* Are you okay?
** Who: [[w:Killing of Alex Pretti|Killing of Alex Pretti]]
*** Note: Said to a woman who had been shoved to the ground by federal agents during a street protest.&lt;ref&gt;[https://www.thenation.com/article/society/alex-pretti-nurse-neighbor-friend/ Alex Pretti Was a Good Man at a Time of Great Evil]. The Nation. Retrieved January 29, 2026.&lt;/ref&gt;   After Pretti tried to help her, he was pinned down and subsequently shot dead by several agents.&lt;ref&gt;[https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/24/us/minneapolis-shooting-federal-agents-video.html Videos Show Moments in Which Agents Killed a Man in Minneapolis]. The New York Times. Retrieved January 29, 2026.&lt;/ref&gt;  

* ''Viva Cristo Rey!''
** Translation: Long live Christ the King!
** Who: [[w:Miguel Pro|Blessed Miguel Pro, S.J.]]
*** Note: Said directly before he was executed by firing squad during the [[w:Cristero|Cristero rebellion]] in Mexico.

* &quot;Mayday, mayday, mayday, Helios Airways Flight 522, Athens...[unintelligible]...&quot; &quot;Mayday! Mayday!&quot;
** Who: Andreas Prodromou, flight attendant aboard [[w:Helios Airways Flight 522|Helios Airways Flight 522]]
*** Note: After the cabin depressurized mid-flight, incapacitating the flight crew (the plane continued to fly in a holding pattern as it was on autopilot) and eventually the passengers, Prodromou survived by utilizing portable oxygen supplies on the plane and gained access to the cockpit, as witnessed by F-16 pilots following the flight. The flight's CVR picked up Prodromou's mayday calls shortly after one engine flamed out, but these were never heard by air traffic control as the flight's radio was tuned to Larnaca ATC (the plane departed from Larnaca, Cyprus).

* ''Me l'aspettavo.''
** Translation: I expected it to happen
** Who: [[w:Pino Puglisi|Pino Puglisi]], Italian priest shot by a Mafia assassin
*** Note: Pino Puglisi was reported to have smiled to his killer.

* I love you, Kathy. I love [[w:Freddie Prinze Jr.|the baby]], but I need to find peace. I can't go on.
** Who: [[w:Freddie Prinze|Freddie Prinze]], [[w:stand-up comedian|stand-up comedian]] and [[w:actor|actor]], who left a [[w:suicide note|suicide note]] and made a series of phone calls to his friends and family. The last statement was a phone call to his wife. After the call, Prinze pulled out a gun from the sofa and shot himself in the head.

* Η πόλη έχει πέσει και είμαι ακόμα ζωντανός. (''I póli échei pései kai eímai akóma zontanós.'')
** Translation: The city is fallen and I am still alive.
** Who: [[w:Constantine XI Palaiologos|Constantine XI Palaiologos]], final Byzantine emperor, before charging into the final battle at the fall of Constantinople to the Turks in 1453.

* Are you all right?
** Who: [[w:Ernie Pyle|Ernie Pyle]]
*** Note: Said to Lieutenant Colonel Joseph B. Coolidge after the two jumped into a ditch following a burst of Japanese machine gun fire on the island of Iejima.  A round from a second burst entered Pyle's left temple, killing him instantly.

=Q=

* ''Adesso (or ora) vi faccio vedere come muore un italiano!''
** Translation: Now I will show you how an Italian dies!
** Who: [[w:Fabrizio Quattrocchi|Fabrizio Quattrocchi]], Italian security officer taken hostage in Iraq early in the Iraq War. When his captors came to execute him he rose from his knees, refused to kneel back down, and said these words.

* ''Jeg er urettferdig dømt, og jeg dør uskyldig.''
** Translation: I'm convicted unfairly, and I die innocent.
** Who: [[w:Vidkun Quisling|Vidkun Quisling]], before being executed by firing squad.

=R=
* ''Je m'en vais chercher un grand peut-être.''
** Translation: I go to seek a Great Perhaps.
*''Tirez le rideau, la farce est jouée.''
** Translation: Draw the curtain, the farce is played.
* ''Beati qui in domino moriuntur.''
** Translation: Blessed are those who die in the Lord or Blessed are those who die wearing a cloak.
** Who: [[François Rabelais]], major French Renaissance writer, physician, Renaissance humanist, monk and Greek scholar.
*** Note: Rabelais is attributed the third pair of last words from having said to have spoken this after wrapping himself in his ''domino'', a Spanish hooded cloak, a word which, in Latin, means lord or master.

* כן, כן, זה כואב מאחור, אבל לא נורא (''Khein, khein, zeh ko'eiv mei'akhor, aval lo nora'')
** Translation: Aye, aye, it hurts in the back, but not terribly
** Who: [[w:Yitzhak Rabin|Yitzhak Rabin]], fifth Prime Minister of Israel
*** Note: Rabin was assassinated by an Orthodox Jewish extremist in 1995. As such, Israeli media often cited these as his last words:
*** אני לא מאמין שזה יהודי (''Ani lo ma'amin shazeh y'hudi'')
*** Translation: I can't believe it's a Jew.

* You're not gonna make me get rid of him after I put all this work in, right?
** Who: [[w:Mikayla Raines|Mikayla Raines]], American animal rescuer, wildlife rehabilitator and YouTuber. 
*** Note: Spoken to her husband Ethan in a video uploaded to Raines' [[w:Instagram|Instagram]] account in reference to an area in their house she prepared for a rescued [[w:lemurs|lemur]]. The following day, Ethan publicly announced she had committed suicide several days prior.&lt;ref&gt;[https://people.com/youtuber-mikayla-raines-last-post-before-her-death-showed-her-love-for-animals-11760413 YouTube Star Mikayla Raines' Love for Animals Was on Full Display in Last Post Before Her Death by Suicide at 29]. People. Retrieved April 26, 2026.&lt;/ref&gt; 

* I want to go home.
** Who: [[w:Angela Raiola|Angela Raiola]], American reality television personality.

* Strike, man, strike!
** Who: [[Sir Walter Raleigh]], English landed gentleman, writer, poet, soldier, politician, courtier, spy, and explorer.
*** To his executioner, as he waited for the axe to fall.

* We'll capture the objective.
** Who: [[w:Richhpal Ram|Richhpal Ram]], Indian recipient of the Victoria Cross.

* What the devil do you mean to sing to me, priest? You are out of tune.
** Who: [[w:Jean-Philippe Rameau|Jean-Philippe Rameau]], French Baroque composer
*** Note: At his bedside, he objected to a song sung. 

* Thank you all very much, I certainly appreciate it. Goodbye.
** Who: [[Ayn Rand]], Russian-born American novelist, philosopher, playwright, and screenwriter.
*** Note: Last known words spoken to the public at a lecture entitled ''The Sanction of the Victims''. 

* ''Komisch''
** Translation: Funny, comical; strange
** Who: [[w:Otto Rank|Otto Rank]]
*** Note: German/American Psychoanalyst, cited By E. J. Lieberman in &quot;Acts of Will: The Life and Work of Otto Rank&quot;.

* ''Felice.''
** Translation: Happy.
** Who: [[w:Raphael|Raphael]], Italian painter and architect of the High Renaissance.

* Что они от меня хотят! Чего они хотят? (''Chto oni ot menya khotyat! Chego oni khotyat?'')
** Translation: What do they want of me! What do they want?
** Who: [[Grigori Rasputin]], Russian mystic
*** Note: Last words also reported as, ''Феликс, Феликс, царице всё скажу.'' (''Feliks, Feliks, tsaritse vso skazhu.'') – &quot;Felix, Felix, I will tell the tsarina!&quot;, &quot;Felix&quot; being Prince [[w:Felix Yusupov|Felix Yusupov]], one of Rasputin's assassins.

* ''Azərbaycan, Azərbaycan, Azərbaycan!'' 
** Transation: Azerbaijan, Azerbaijan, Azerbaijan!
** Who: [[w:Mammad Amin Rasulzadeh|Mammad Amin Rasulzadeh]]	

* I'm tired. I'm going back to bed.
** Who: [[w:George Reeves|George Reeves]]
*** Note: Reeves committed suicide. This was the last thing he said to his friends before shooting himself in his bedroom.

* See you next year.
** Who: [[Rob Reiner]], American filmmaker and actor.
*** Note: According to English artist [[Eric Idle]], these were the words Reiner said to him at the end of a long phone conversation. Several hours later, Reiner and his wife [[w:Michele Singer Reiner|Michele]] were found dead at their home from multiple stab wounds.&lt;ref&gt;[https://www.thedailybeast.com/rob-reiners-final-words-to-monty-python-star-eric-idle-hours-before-death-revealed/ Star Reveals Rob Reiner's Final Words Hours Before Death]. The Daily Beast. Retrieved January 16, 2026.&lt;/ref&gt; 

* Please accept my apology for not going public with what I’ve been facing for the past six years. I have always felt a huge amount of love and respect from my friends, fans and supporters. I have loved you all so much and enjoyed making art for you.
** Who: [[Paul Reubens]], American comedian best known for his character Pee-Wee Herman
*** Note: Prepared statement released after his death.

* I miss her so much, I want to be with Carrie.
** Who: [[w:Debbie Reynolds|Debbie Reynolds]]
*** Note: Her daughter, actress [[w:Carrie Fisher|Carrie Fisher]], had died of heart failure the day before. and both Debbie and her son [[w:Todd Fisher|Todd Fisher]] were planning Carrie's funeral. According to Todd, she had made the comment, and 15 minutes later, suffered a stroke that she later died from.

* Forward! For God's sake, forward!
** Who: [[w:John F. Reynolds|John F. Reynolds]], Union General at [[w:Gettysburg|Gettysburg]], seconds before he was shot by a Confederate sharpshooter.

* ''I vvill die King of England! I ne vvill boughe a foot! Treason! Treason!''
** Translation: I will die King of England! I will not budge a foot! Treason! Treason!!
** Who: [[w:Richard III|Richard III]]

* Yeah, country music.
** Who: [[w:Buddy Rich|Buddy Rich]]
*** Note: Said to a nurse who asked him, &quot;Is there anything you can't take?&quot; He died from heart failure following surgery to remove a brain tumor.

* ''Now I'm going to tell you a story from the Bible about spiritual courage...''
** Who: Baseball impresario [[w:Branch Rickey|Branch Rickey]]
*** Note: He was in the middle of an acceptance speech at Missouri's Sports Hall of Fame when he collapsed in mid-sentence and never regained consciousness nor spoke again. Rickey died 26 days later.

* No words can express just how sorry I am for taking the lives of my babies. No way I can make up for or take away the pain I have caused everyone who knew and loved them. I love you, my babies.
** Who: [[w:Christina Marie Riggs|Christina Marie Riggs]], first woman executed in Arkansas on May 2, 2000. In 1997 she killed her two small children and then failed in her attempt to commit suicide.

* I don't want the doctor's death. I want to have my own freedom.
** Who: [[Rainer Maria Rilke]], Bohemian-Austrian poet and novelist

* Let the flowers grow and look to the future...  With that said, I rest in peace.
** Who: [[w:Mike Rinder|Mike Rinder]], Australian-American former senior executive of the [[Scientology|Church of Scientology]].  Rinder left Scientology in 2007 and became a prominent critic of the church in various media until his death.
*** Note: Those were the last words of Rinder's final post on his [https://www.mikerindersblog.org/farewell/ blog], published shortly after his death.

* ''Consummatum est!''
** Translation: It is finished!
** Who: [[w:Jose Rizal|Jose Rizal]]
*** Note: Rizal mentioned it moments before being shot by a firing squad. These are the last words spoken by Jesus (John 19:30).

* My God, Ned, help me! I'm on fire!
** Who: [[w:Fireball Roberts|Edward &quot;Fireball&quot; Roberts]], 1962 Daytona 500 winner
*** Note: Last recorded words said to Ned Jarrett in an attempt to save him, and recorded by many of the witnesses just moments after his fatal wreck during the 1964 World 600. In an attempt to avoid a wreck in front of him, Roberts swerved right to avoid, and spun out. His car hit an open patch in the wall, ripped the fuel tank, and was subsequently engulfed in fire. He slipped into a coma as a result of the accident, and died of third-degree burns three months later.

* I love you.
** Who: [[Jackie Robinson]], American baseball player
*** Note: Spoken to his wife. Robinson suffered a fatal heart attack moments later.

*Yeah
*Oh shit!
**Who: John Robinson
***Note: Robinson was the First Officer on [[w:Flying Tiger Line Flight 66|Flying Tiger Line Flight 66]] when it crashed into a hill on approach to Kuala Lumpur on February 19 1989 killing all four on board. The first line was in response to the Captain asking if he was carrying out an Instrument landing system approach, where are his last confirmed words. In the final seconds of the flight, a voice declared the second line and it is unclear whether it was Robinson or the Captain on realizing they were about to crash. 

* Hey, what's up?
** Who: [[Elliot Rodger]], perpetrator of the [[w:2014 Isla Vista killings|Isla Vista shootings]]
*** Note: Said to Sierra Swartz after pulling up next to her, before firing at her multiple times (each bullet missed). Minutes later, Rodger crashed his car and committed suicide via self-inflicted gunshot wound.&lt;ref&gt;https://web.archive.org/web/20150220034256/http://www.sbsheriff.us/documents/ISLAVISTAINVESTIGATIVESUMMARY.pdf - Investigative summary of the Isla Vista shootings.&lt;/ref&gt;

*Yes, a bullet-proof vest.
** Who: [[w:James W. Rodgers|James W. Rodgers]], American construction worker and convicted murderer
*** Note: Asked if he has any last requests before facing a firing squad.

* I forgot something.
** Who: [[George Lincoln Rockwell]], founder of the [[w:American Nazi Party|American Nazi Party]]
*** Note: He was in the Econowash laundromat at the Dominion Hills Shopping Center in Arlington, Virginia, and spoke those words to no one in particular as he left the laundromat to get something from his car. Moments later, [[w:John Patler|John Patler]], a former member of Rockwell's group, fatally shot Rockwell from the roof of the shopping center.

* I would like to tell you what I often told you when you were much younger. I like you just the way you are. And what's more, I'm so grateful to you for helping the children in your life to know that you'll do everything you can to keep them safe. And to help them express their feelings in ways that will bring healing in many different neighborhoods. Its such a good feeling to know that we're lifelong friends.
** Who: [[w:Fred Rogers|Fred Rogers]], best known as the creator and host of children's show ''Mister Rogers' Neighborhood''.
*** Note: Rogers made these remarks in a video released several months before his death from stomach cancer on February 27, 2003. They are not his deathbed words, but they are his last words to the public.

* ''Wenn ich schon umgebracht werden soll, dann soll Adolf es selbst tun.''
** Translation: If I am to be killed, let Adolf do it himself.
** Who: [[w:Ernst Röhm|Ernst Röhm]]
*** Note: He was co-founder of the (&quot;Storm Battalion&quot;; SA) and was among a number of Nazi officials who were suspected of conspiring against Adolf Hitler. He was executed during the 1934 [[w:Night of Long Knives|Night of Long Knives]]. Hitler was hesitant in ordering his execution and gave Röhm the opportunity to commit suicide. On July 2, he was given a pistol by 2 SS officers and was told he had 10 minutes to use it. He refused and stated what were to be his last words. He was later shot in the chest by SS-Obersturmbannführer Michael Lippert.

* 너무 많은 사람들에게 신세를 졌다. 나로 말미암아 여러 사람이 받은 고통이 너무 크다. 앞으로 받을 고통도 헤아릴 수가 없다. 여생도 남에게 짐이 될 일밖에 없다. 건강이 좋지 않아서 아무것도 할 수가 없다. 책을 읽을 수도 글을 쓸 수도 없다. 너무 슬퍼하지 마라. 삶과 죽음이 모두 자연의 한 조각 아니겠는가? 미안해하지 마라. 누구도 원망하지 마라. 운명이다. 화장해라. 그리고 집 가까운 곳에 아주 작은 비석 하나만 남겨라. 오래된 생각이다. (''Neomu manh-eun salamdeul-ege sinseleul jyeossda. Nalo malmiam-a yeoleo salam-i bad-eun gotong-i neomu keuda. Ap-eulo bad-eul gotongdo healil suga eobsda. yeosaengdo nam-ege jim-i doel ilbakk-e eobsda. Geongang-i johji anh-aseo amugeosdo hal suga eobsda. Chaeg-eul ilg-eul sudo geul-eul sseul sudo eobsda. Neomu seulpeohaji mala. Salmgwa jug-eum-i modu jayeon-ui han jogag anigessneunga? Mianhaehaji mala. Nugudo wonmanghaji mala. Unmyeong-ida. Hwajanghaela. Geuligo jib gakkaun gos-e aju jag-eun biseog hanaman namgyeola. Olaedoen saeng-gag-ida.'')
** Translation: I am in debt to so many people. I have caused too great a burden to be placed upon them. I can't begin to fathom the countless agonies down the road. The rest of my life would only be a burden for others. I am unable to do anything because of poor health. I can't read, I can't write. Do not be too sad. Isn't life and death all a part of nature? Do not be sorry. Do not feel resentment toward anyone. It is fate. Cremate me. And leave only a small tombstone near home. I've thought on this for a long time.
** Who: [[w:Roh Moo-hyun|Roh Moo-hyun]], 9th President of South Korea
*** Note: These words were from a suicide note typed on Roh's PC, before he eventually jumped off a mountain cliff behind his home in Bongha.

*May God have mercy on the assassins.
** Who: Salvadoran Archbishop [[w:Óscar Romero|Óscar Romero]]
*** Note: He was fatally shot while saying Mass in San Salvador by a death squad assassin who fired from the entrance of the Church, whom Romero presumably saw.

* Utter nonsense.
** Who: [[Eleanor Roosevelt]]
*** Note: Spoken to the nurse who told her she would die when the reason God put her on earth was fulfilled.

* I have a terrific headache.
** Who: [[Franklin Delano Roosevelt]], 32nd President of the United States, who died of a massive cerebral hemorrhage
*** Note: According to Conrad Black in his biography ''Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Champion of Freedom'', page 1110, FDR was sitting for a portrait when he put his left hand to the back of his head and said: &quot;I have a terrific pain in the back of my head.&quot; He then was carried to his bed by several people — as they were doing this, &quot;he was understood by Laura Delano to say, only semiconsciously, 'Be careful.'&quot; These were his last words.

* James, will you please put out the light?
** Who: [[Theodore Roosevelt]], 26th President of the United States
*** Note: Spoken to his valet, James Amos. Roosevelt died in his sleep.

* That's it, I'm dead.
** Who: Warren Rose, flight engineer of [[w:Surinam Airways Flight 764|Surinam Airways Flight 764]]
*** Note: The flight attempted an ILS landing rather than a VOR/DME approach in thick fog. The plane's engine and right wing struck trees on the approach and inverted, killing all but eleven passengers.

* No.
** Who: [[Alfred Rosenberg]], Nazi ideologist and minister
*** Note: When asked if he had any last words before being executed by hanging.

* We are the first victims of American fascism!
** Who: [[w:Ethel Rosenberg|Ethel Rosenberg]]
*** Note: She and her husband Julius were executed in 1953 in the electric chair at Sing Sing prison for treason, having been convicted of passing information to the Soviet Union concerning the construction of the atomic bomb. The judge who condemned them to death said that he did so to prevent the Rosenbergs from ever being released from prison. Their two young children were eventually adopted by songwriter [[w:Abel Meeropol|Abel Meeropol]].

* We are innocent. That is the whole truth. To forsake this truth is to pay too high a price even for the priceless gift of life. For life thus purchased we could not live out in dignity.
** Who: [[w:Julius Rosenberg|Julius Rosenberg]]
*** Note: He and his wife Ethel were executed in the electric chair in 1953 for treason (passing in blueprints of the atomic bomb to the Soviet Union; see above.)

* I'd like to say just thanks for this time today—a chance to share your world along the way. One day soon, our paths may cross again; until then, God bless, my friend.
** Who: [[Bob Ross]], American painter, host of ''[[w:The Joy of Painting|The Joy of Painting]]''
*** Note: A poem Ross recited as a farewell message, in the last days of his terminal bout with lymphoma; Ross's traditional sign-off on ''The Joy of Painting'' was &quot;happy painting, and God bless.&quot; It aired after Ross's death as part of the children's series ''The Adventures of Elmer and Friends'', which also set the poem to music. (These were Ross's last words to the public; his last words overall were likely related to a dispute he and his son Steve had with his business partners, Annette and Walt Kowalski, over Ross's intellectual properties, including his appearance on ''Elmer and Friends''. Any recordings of these were destroyed as part of a legal settlement.)

*No thank you.
** Who: [[w:Michael Bruce Ross|Michael Bruce Ross]], executed in Connecticut on May 13, 2005
*** Note: When asked if he had any last words.

* Don't go away. I don't want to be alone. I can't stand being alone.
** Who: [[w:Arnold Rothstein|Arnold Rothstein]], American crime boss.
*** Note: Said to his wife Carolyn as he tried to raise himself he fell back and into unconsciousness. Rothstein would not regain consciousness and died the following morning.

* I here declare my unmitigated hatred to Yankee rule -- to all political, social and business connection with the Yankees and to the Yankee race. Would that I could impress these sentiments, in their full force, on every living Southerner and bequeath them to every one yet to be born! May such sentiments be held universally in the outraged and down-trodden South, though in silence and stillness, until the now far-distant day shall arrive for just retribution for Yankee usurpation, oppression and atrocious outrages, and for deliverance and vengeance for the now ruined, subjugated and enslaved Southern States!...And now with my latest writing and utterance, and with what will be near my latest breath, I here repeat and would willingly proclaim my unmitigated hatred to Yankee rule--to all political, social and business connections with Yankees, and the perfidious, malignant and vile Yankee race.
** Who: [[w:Edmund Ruffin|Edmund Ruffin]] (Diary entry, 17 June 1865)
*** Note: Ruffin was an ardent supporter of the Confederacy during the Civil War and fired one of the first shots of the war at Fort Sumter in 1861. He wrote his final diary entry on the occasion of General Robert E. Lee's surrender, and after completing his entry, shot himself in the head.

* Hurry it up! I want to be in hell in time for dinner.
** Who: [[w:Edward H. Rulloff|Edward H. Rulloff]], a convicted serial killer and last person to be executed by hanging in the State of New York.

* I feel like one of my engines is going out or something.
** Who: Richard Russell
*** Note: Russell had stolen a Bombardier Dash 8 Q400 from Seattle-Tacoma airport and taken it for a joyride. This was Russell's last communication with SeaTac ATC, approximately four minutes before committing suicide by crashing into Keaton Island. [https://soundcloud.com/tom-cleary-17/seatac-air-traffic-control-81018-824-pm-to-854-pm (SeaTac ATC recordings from 8:24pm to 8:54pm on August 10, 2018 - Russell's last communication occurs at 18:49)]

* What's happening?
** Who: [[w:Tim Russert|Tim Russert]], longtime host of [[w:Meet the Press|Meet the Press]] on [[w:NBC|NBC]]
** Spoken as a greeting, shortly before he collapsed, according to NBC Washington bureau editing supervisor Candace Harrington.&lt;ref&gt;http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/06/18/brian-williams-at-tim-rus_n_107932.html&lt;/ref&gt;

* Goodbye, cobber. God bless you.
** Who: Harold Rush, [[w:Australian 10th Light Horse Regiment|Australian 10th Light Horse Regiment]] trooper in [[w:World War I|World War I]]
*** Note: His last words before joining his attack wave during the [[w:Battle of The Nek|Battle of The Nek]]. &quot;Cobber&quot; is an Australian colloquialism that means &quot;friend&quot;.

* I'm going over the valley.
** Who: [[Babe Ruth]], baseball player.
*** Note: His doctor had asked him where he was going when he got up to wander around his hospital room.

* I want to think about it. I am not coming out until I know about my mother.
** Who: [[w:Hungerford massacre|Michael Ryan]], perpetrator of the Hungerford massacre
*** Note: Ryan had been speaking to a Police negotiator when he asked for the time. He had killed his mother in the shooting earlier in the day. 

* God bless you, please make it quick.
** Who: [[w:Ronald Ryan|Ronald Ryan]], the last man to hanged in Australia on 3 February 1967.

=S=
* Loved tonight’s show (at the Ponte Vedra Concert Hall) in Jacksonville. Appreciative audience. Thanks again to Tim Wilkins for opening. I had no idea I did a 2 hr set tonight. I’m happily addicted again to this shit. Check BobSaget.com for my dates in 2022.
** Who: [[Bob Saget]]
*** Note: Final tweet posted in the early hours of January 9, 2022.

* Put out the bloody cigarette!
** Who: [[Saki]] (British author Hugh Hector Munro)
*** Note: Spoken to a fellow officer while in a trench during [[w:World War I|World War I]], for fear the smoke would give away their positions; he was then shot by a German sniper who had heard the remark.

* &quot;yea...usually @ north camarillo&quot;
** Who: Robert M. Sanchez
*** Note: Texted one minute before Sanchez, a Los Angeles Metrolink engineer, collided his commuter train with a Union Pacific freight train in the [[w:Chatsworth train collision|Chatsworth train collision]]. In the course of texting, he missed the red signal that should have warned him to get on siding and protect the train.

* תמות נפשי עם־פלשתים (''Tamot nafshi im-pelishtim'')
** Translation: Let me die with the Philistines!
*** Who: [[w:Samson|Samson]]

* Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck.
** Who: [[w:George Sanders|George Sanders]], British actor
*** Note: Written on a suicide note.

* Tell my family I love them.
** Who: William David Sanders, American schoolteacher
*** Note: Sanders was injured in the [[w:Columbine High School massacre|Columbine High School massacre]] on April 20, 1999. He then managed to get himself into a science lab where he succumbed to a loss of blood nearly three hours later.

* Thank you Palestrina. It's a wonderful evening, it's great to be here and I wanna dedicate you a super sexy song.
** Who: [[w:Mark Sandman|Mark Sandman]] (American jazz singer)
*** Note: Sandman collapsed on stage at the Giardini del Principe in Palestrina, Italy while performing with his band Morphine, just after saying this to the audience.

* A party! Let's have a party.
** Who: [[w:Margaret Sanger|Margaret Sanger]], American birth control activist

* God bless, God damn!
** Who: [[w:Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna|Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna]]
*** Note: Santa Anna was known to spend many long hours trying to decide what his last words would be; one can only speculate if this is what he had intended to say.

* We figured we'd wait to go to your center. Ah, we heard a suspicious transmission on our departure out of Boston, ah, with someone, ah, it sounded like someone keyed the mikes and said, ah, &quot;Everyone, ah, stay in your seats.&quot; It cut out.
** Who: Victor Saracini
*** Note: Saracini was the captain of [[w:United Airlines Flight 175|United Airlines Flight 175]] on September 11, 2001. It was the last transmission he made to the ground as only minutes later the flight was hijacked and the plane later crashed into the South Tower of the World Trade Center.

* Let's be wild tonight.
** Who: [[w:Sirkka Sari|Sirkka Sari]]
*** Note: Sari was a [[w:Cinema of Finland|Finnish actress]] who died by falling down a [[w:chimney|chimney]] during a party. These are her last recorded words, by which she convinced the crew and her castmates to have a party at the Aulanko hotel, where they were shooting; during the party, Sari and one of the men in the group (she was engaged, but the man was ''not'' her fiancee) went up to the roof of the hotel. On the flat roof, there was a several-feet high chimney, with a ladder leading up to the top; Sari mistook this chimney for a scenery [[w:balcony|balcony]], climbed up, and fell into a heating [[w:boiler|boiler]], where she died instantly.

* Everybody has got to die, but I have always believed an exception would be made in my case. What now?
** Who: [[William Saroyan]], American writer

* I love you very much, my dear Beaver.
** Who: [[Jean-Paul Sartre]], French philosopher 
*** Note: Said to his partner, [[Simone de Beauvoir]] 

* おいしい。 (''Oishii.'')
** Translation: It's good. or It's tasty.
** Who: [[w:Sadako Sasaki|Sadako Sasaki]], Hiroshima atomic bomb victim, after tasting her [[w:Chazuke|ochazuke]] (tea on rice) before dying of leukemia at age 12.&lt;ref&gt;{{Cite web|url=http://www.pcf.city.hiroshima.jp/virtual/VirtualMuseum_j/exhibit/exh0107/exh01072.html|title=企画展2}}&lt;/ref&gt;&lt;ref&gt;{{Cite web|url=http://www.pcf.city.hiroshima.jp/virtual/VirtualMuseum_e/exhibit_e/exh0107_e/exh01072_e.html|title=Special Exhibition 2}}&lt;/ref&gt;

* فيصل، سعود هو أخيك. سعود، فيصل هو أخيك. ليس هناك قوة ولا قوة إنقاذ في الله. (''Faysal, Su'ud hu 'akhiku. Sa'udun, Faysal hu 'akhiuk. Lays hunak quat wala quat 'iinqadh fi Allah'')
** Translation: Faisal, Saud is your brother. Saud, Faisal is your brother. There is no power and no strength save in God.
** Who: [[w:Ibn Saud|Ibn Saud]]; quoted in ''Ibn Saud'', by Leslie McLoughlin
*** Note: Saudi sources claim Ibn Saud's last words were the ''[[w:Shahada|Shahada]]'' prayer, which Ibn Saud recited several times before sleeping.

* שלף חרבך ודקרני בה פן־יבאו הערלים האלה והתעללו־בי (''Shelof charbecha vedakereni vah, pen-yavo'u ha'arelim ha'elleh vehit'allelu-vi'')
** Translation: Draw your sword and pierce me with it, lest these uncircumcised ones come upon me and make a mockery of me
** Who: [[w:Saul|Saul]], first king of the [[w:United Monarchy of Israel|United Monarchy of Israel]]
*** Note: Saul spoke this to his sword-bearer after losing a battle at Mount Gilboa to the Philistines. His weapon-bearer refused to kill the king, so Saul committed suicide to prevent himself from falling into enemy hands. Three of his sons had died in the battle. His and their bodies were discovered by the Philistine soldiers the following day, and were then mutilated and displayed before being recovered by David and buried.

* ''Ouch! Why? Why?''
** Who: [[w:Rebecca Schaeffer|Rebecca Schaeffer]], American actress and model (18 July 1989), after being shot at her apartment doorsteps by stalker Robert John Bardo

* ''Ik schiet beter!''
** Translation: I could shoot better!
** Who: [[w:Hannie Schaft|Hannie Schaft]]
*** Note: Spoken to a German soldier after having been shot in her execution; the soldier subsequently emptied his machine gun into her.

* I have a problem — I have a real problem.
** Who: [[w:Art Scholl|Art Scholl]]
*** Note: Said as his plane entered a flat spin and subsequently crashed.

* ''Es lebe die Freiheit!''
** ''Translation:'' Long live freedom!
** Who: [[w:Hans Scholl|Hans Scholl]], leader of [[The White Rose]], German anti-Hitler resistance movement.
** His last words from the guillotine before sentence of death for high treason was executed (22 February 1943)
* Let them leave me alone.
** Who: [[w:Dutch Schultz|Dutch Schultz]], Jewish-American gangster
*** Note: Schultz had been shot, and gave a long, stream-of-consciousness babble while on his deathbed as police tried to extract information from him.

* Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Linus, Lucy...how can I ever forget them...
** Who: [[w:Charles Schulz|Charles Schulz]]
*** Note: From the final [[w:Peanuts|Peanuts]] comic strip released on February 13, 2000 (one day after his death).

* Roger, go at throttle-up.
** Who: [[w:Dick Scobee|Francis Richard &quot;Dick&quot; Scobee]]
*** Note: These were his last recorded words before the [[w:Space Shuttle Challenger disaster|Space Shuttle ''Challenger'' disintegrated]], killing him and six other astronauts.

* If you came to party, make some noise.
** Who: [[w:Fatman Scoop|Fatman Scoop]], American rapper and hype man
*** Note: Said at an event he was hosting in Hamden, Connecticut immediately before collapsing and being taken to a hospital, where he later died.

* For God's sake look after our people.
** Who: [[w:Robert Falcon Scott|Robert Falcon Scott]].
*** Note: These were the last words he wrote in his diary, before he froze to death.

* My dear, be a good man — be virtuous — be religious — be a good man. Nothing else will give you any comfort when you come to lie here. ...God bless you all.
** Who: [[Walter Scott]]
** As quoted in John Gibson Lockhart ''Memoirs of the life of Sir Walter Scott, Bart'', Vol. VII (1838), p. 294

* Just leaving for God's own country.
** Who: [[w:Richard John Seddon|Richard Seddon]], Prime Minister of New Zealand.
*** Note: Final telegram sent to the Premier of Victoria, Sir Thomas Bent, from on board the ''Oswestry Grange'' heading back to New Zealand, 10 June 1906. He died later that evening of heart failure. &quot;[[w:God's Own Country|God's Own Country]]&quot; has long been a nickname for New Zealand.

*What? Men dodging this way for single bullets? What will you do when they open fire along the whole line? Why are you dodging like this? They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance.
** Who: [[John Sedgwick]]
*** Note: Sedgwick was a Union Civil War general who was hit by sniper fire moments after saying these, at the battle of Spotsylvania, on May 9, 1864. They are often portrayed as if they were his absolute final statement, the sentence often being presented as if he did not even finish it, and altered into the form: '' &quot;They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist...&quot;. '' Though this may be a slightly more striking version of events, his actual last words are believed to be &quot;All right, my man; go to your place&quot;, in response to a soldier telling him that he preferred to duck when being shot at, even from a great distance. - (External link: [http://www.civilwarhome.com/sedgwickdeath.htm Death of General John Sedgwick])

* Yolanda, in Room 158.
** Who: [[w:Selena|Selena]]
*** Note: Selena had been shot in the back by Yolanda Saldívar during an argument over missing financial records. Before losing consciousness, Selena named Saldivar as her assailant and the room number she was staying at to a Days Inn motel employee.

* The car seems OK...
** Who: [[Ayrton Senna]], three time Formula One World Racing champion
*** Note: He said these last words over his team radio before his steering column broke and he subsequently crashed into a wall, killing him instantly.

* My boys, I'm going down.
** Who: [[w:Alexandru Şerbănescu|Alexandru Şerbănescu]], Romanian World War II flying ace.
*** Note: Said as his aircraft was shot down.

* Nothing, only &quot;love one another.&quot;
** Who: [[William H. Seward]], United States Secretary of State and architect of the [[w:Alaska purchase|Alaska purchase]]
*** Note: Whispered to his children after he asked if he had any last words.

* Days betray me when I am not working. None of my guests nor I mentioned it was Saturday, so, for me, it was a Sunday dinner. Perhaps I'll have another tomorrow!
** Who: [[w:Glenn Shadix|Glenn Shadix]], American actor
*** Note: Actor; died on a Saturday.

* के गरेको? (''Ke gareko?'')
** Translation: What have you done?
** Who: [[w:Birendra of Nepal|Birendra Shah]], King of Nepal
*** Note: Said to his son, Crown Prince Dipendra, who shot him during the [[w:Nepalese royal massacre|Nepalese royal massacre]] on June 1, 2001.

* Fuck you.
** Who: [[Tupac Shakur]], American rapper
*** Note: Spoken to a police officer who had asked who shot him (Shakur).

* Mommy...
** Who: [[w:Murder of Shanda Sharer|Shanda Sharer]]
*** Note: Shanda Sharer was a 12-year old girl who was abducted and tortured by four teenage girls during the late night hours of January 11, 1992 in Madison, Indiana. After eight hours of torture they took her out to a field and she was calling for her mother before they burned her alive.

* Dying is easy, comedy is hard.
** Who: [[George Bernard Shaw]]
*** Note: Said on his death bed.

* If elected, I will not lay down on the job.
** Who: [[w:Dick Shawn|Dick Shawn]], American comedian
*** As part of his comedy act. Shawn suffered a fatal heart attack in the middle of his act, which most in attendance assumed was part of the act.

* I want to see my mom.
** Who: Isaiah Shoels
*** Note: Shoels was one of 13 people killed in the [[w:Columbine High School massacre|Columbine High School massacre]] on April 20, 1999. His killers, [[w:Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold|Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold]] made racist comments towards him before fatally shooting him.

* Ooh-ee, I can feel that!
** Who: [[w:Anthony Allen Shore|Anthony Allen Shore]], American serial killer
*** Note: Shore's last words before he was executed by lethal injection.

* We are now under God's grace and mercy.
** Who: [[w:Brad Sigmon|Brad Sigmon]], American murderer
*** Note: Sigmon gave a long final statement condemning the use of capital punishment as outdated Old Testament theology and a violation of the New Testament. Sigmon was executed by firing squad, the first man to die by that method outside Utah in 49 years.

* ''Braćo, spasavaj se ko hoće i ko može!''
** Translation: Brothers, save yourself those of you who want and who can!
** Who: [[w:Stevan Sinđelić|Stevan Sinđelić]], Serbian military commander.
*** Note: Sinđelić uttered it during [[w:Battle of Čegar|Battle of Čegar]], before igniting the gunpowder kegs in the powder cave, creating an enormous explosion that killed him, all of the Serb rebels and Ottoman soldiers.

* Teresa, I can't go down, my legs hurt a lot... no, not today. Not on my birthday.
* Let me fly you to the moon, so we can gaze among the stars.
** Who: [[w:Richard Simmons|Richard Simmons]], American fitness promoter
*** Note: The first was part of a dialogue between Simmons and his live-in housekeeper of 36 years, Teresa Reveles, who had attempted to convince Simmons to go to the hospital. The second was an unfinished social media post Simmons and his brother Lenny were working on, a loose paraphrase of lyrics from the song &quot;[[w:Fly Me to the Moon|Fly Me to the Moon]],&quot; that was scheduled for release after his death.

* Up...up...
** Who: [[w:Tom Simpson|Tom Simpson]], British cyclist
*** Note: Tom Simpson died on the Mont Ventoux, probably because of a combination of amphetamines, alcohol and the heat. His last words are often erroneously quoted as &quot;Put me back on my bike&quot;; Simpson's soigneur told reporters that he wanted to be &quot;put back on his bike&quot;, and this was reported as such.

* I'm losing it.
** Who: [[Frank Sinatra]], American singer, actor and producer
*** Note: According to his daughter [[w:Nancy Sinatra|Nancy Sinatra]], as told to ''Variety'' magazine senior columnist, [[w:Army Archerd|Army Archerd]]. Other sources quote him as saying, ''&quot;I'm losin' it.&quot;''

* I am not going. Do with me what you like. I am not going. Come on! Come on! Take action! Let's go!
** Who: Chief [[Sitting Bull]], famous for leading the Sioux tribe against General Custer's troops at the Battle of Little Bighorn
*** Note: About 43 members of the Indian police decided to arrest him. Sitting Bull refused to leave with the police and a crowd of angry supporters gathered around him. A fight broke out and Sitting Bull wound up getting shot in the head.

* This is the first time authorities helped me escape prison.
** Who: [[w:George Sitts|George Sitts]], convicted murderer before his electrocution in 1947 in South Dakota 

* В моей смерти прошу винить Российскую Федерацию. (''V moyey smerti proshu vinit' Rossiyskuyu Federatsiyu.'')
** Translation: I ask you to blame the Russian Federation for my death.
** Who: [[w:Irina Slavina (journalist)|Irina Slavina]], Russian journalist
*** Note: Final post on Facebook before her self-immolation in front of the [[w:Nizhny Novgorod Oblast Police|Nizhny Novgorod Oblast Police]] building.

* They're not shooting me for deserting the United States Army - thousands of guys have done that. They're shooting me for that brass I stole when I was 12 years old.
** Who: [[w:Eddie Slovik|Eddie Slovik]], the only US soldier shot for desertion during World War II. Said shortly before his execution by firing squad at 10:04 a.m. on January 31, 1945, near the village of Sainte-Marie-aux-Mines, France.

* ''Która godzina?''
** Translation: What time is it?
** Who: [[w:Juliusz Słowacki|Juliusz Słowacki]], Polish romantic poet

* My wife is very good at putting me to sleep just by rubbing my hands... Be strong my darling...
** Who: Peter Smedley, English Hotelier
*** Note: Smedley had an assisted death at a [[w:Dignitas (assisted dying organisation)|Dignitas]] euthanasia clinic after suffering from [[w:Motor neurone disease|motor neurone disease]] for much of his life. His assisted death was televised as part of [[Terry Pratchett]]'s documentary Choosing To Die. He died holding his wife's hand, calmly and of his own choice.

* I believe we should adjourn this meeting to another place.
** Who: [[Adam Smith]]

* I'm going, but I'm going in the name of the Lord.
** Who: [[w:Bessie Smith|Bessie Smith]]

* Now he's going into a parking lot, now he's stopped. We'll see what happens here. He has stopped. This may be the end of this thing. Okay, he's out, okay now it's a foot chase. Now he's in another vehicle. Okay, okay, doors open, police, okay. Oh, jee-
** Who: Craig Smith, pilot for KNXV-TV's Chopper15 involved in the [[w:Phoenix news helicopter collision|Phoenix mid-air collision]]
** Note: While covering a police chase, Smith's chopper collided with KTVK's Newschopper3. Both choppers crashed to the ground, killing all four occupants on both aircraft. Just as the audio from the incident fades out as ABC15 News cuts back to anchor Rebecca Thomas, Smith can be heard screaming.

*I'm a dead man!
** Who: [[w:Hyrum Smith|Hyrum Smith]] upon being shot in the face, just before his brother Joseph was as well. 

* Oh Lord, my God...
** Who: [[Joseph Smith, Jr.]] crying out while being shot by a mob inside [[W:Carthage Jail|Carthage Jail]] and then falling out of a window. 

* Uh-oh...
** Who: [[w:Michael J. Smith (astronaut)|Michael J. Smith]], crew member of the ill-fated Space Shuttle [[w:Challenger|Challenger]] 51-L mission, 28 January 1986. Last statement recorded on the spacecraft's cockpit voice recorder, less than half a second before the shuttle disintegrated.

* My God, don't shoot!
** Who: [[w:Soapy Smith|Soapy Smith]], American con artist
*** Note: Said during the [[w:Shootout on Juneau Wharf|Shootout on Juneau Wharf]]

* Ὦ Κρίτων... τῷ Ἀσκληπιῷ ὀφείλομεν ἀλεκτρυόνα. ἀλλὰ ἀπόδοτε καὶ μὴ ἀμελήσητε. (''Ô Krítōn... tôi Asklēpiôi opheílomen alektruóna. allà apódote kaì mḕ amelḗsēte.'')
** Translation: Crito, we ought to offer a cock to Asclepius. See to it, and don't forget.
** Who: [[Socrates]], quoted by Plato in ''Phaedo''
*** Note: Asclepius was a Greek god of healing (his shrine is on the side of the Acropolis). It seems to many that Socrates considered death to be a relief, and thus was thanking the god for the service of killing him.

* Refill my whiskey, please.
** Who: [[w:Russell Solomon|Russ Solomon]], entrepreneur and founder of the retailer Tower Records
*** Immediately prior to the request to his wife, Solomon, who was watching the Academy Awards on television at the time, also commented that one of the dresses an attendee was wearing was ugly. By the time his wife returned with the whiskey, he was dead.

* It must have been the coffee.
** Who: [[w:Jack Soo|Jack Soo]], Actor and Comic, quoted by Hal Linden
*** Note: This was a reference to the running gag of his character Nick Yemana from the TV show ''Barney Miller'' having the reputation for making horrible coffee. According to friend and fellow cast-member Hal Linden, these were Soo's last words before being taken to surgery for cancer of the esophagus.

* Not bad. I can't feel a thing.
** Who: [[w:Franklin Sousley|Franklin Sousley]]

* My name is Tris Speaker.
** Who: [[w:Tris Speaker|Tris Speaker]], American baseball player

* ''Grazie.''
** Translation: Thank you.
** Who: [[w:Bud Spencer|Bud Spencer]], Italian actor.
***Note: Spoken to family members present at his deathbed shortly before his death.&lt;ref&gt;[https://www.repubblica.it/spettacoli/cinema/2016/06/27/news/addio_a_bud_spencer-142956603// Cinema, è morto Bud Spencer, il gigante buono del cinema italiano]. ''La Repubblica''. Retrieved October 26, 2024.&lt;/ref&gt; 

* My God, what's happened?
** Who: [[Diana, Princess of Wales|Lady Diana Spencer]], 31 August 1997 (after being mortally wounded in a car accident)

* Capital punishment: Them without the capital get the punishment!
** Who: [[w:John Arthur Spenkelink|John Arthur Spenkelink]]
** Before his electrocution in Florida in 1979. He was the first person executed involuntarily after moratorium was lifted

* ''Dan liever de lucht in!''
** Translation: Rather to blow up, then!
** Who: [[w:Jan van Speyk|Jan van Speyjk]]

* My vocabulary did this to me. Your love will let you go on...
** Who: [[w:Jack Spicer|Jack Spicer]], Poet. Spoken to fellow poet Robin Blaser in a near-coma brought on by Spicer's Alcoholism. [http://www.memorybc.ca/jack-spicer-fonds;rad]

* There will be a time when our silence will be more powerful than the voices you strangle today!
** Who: [[August Spies]], [[anarchism|anarchist]] [[W:Haymarket Riot|Haymarket martyr]], prior to his hanging.

* I'm tired.
** Who: [[w:Ken Stabler|Ken Stabler]]

* Going southbound, sir.
** Who: Andrew Joseph (Joe) Stack II, software engineer and [[w:tax protester|tax protestor]].
** As he was preparing to fly his [[w:Piper Cherokee|Piper Cherokee PA-28-236]] into [[w:2010 Austin plane crash|Building I of the Echelon office complex in Austin, Texas, United States]], killing himself and [[w:Internal Revenue Service|Internal Revenue Service]] manager Vernon Hunter and injuring 13 others, he radioed the control tower he was flying southbound. The tower operator replied, ''&quot;Have a great day.&quot;''[http://www.wtop.com/?nid=104&amp;sid=1893898] Prior to his suicide, Stack posted an anti-government manifesto on his business website. [http://www.webcitation.org/5ndnnvvrP]

* Not like this. Don't leave me like this.
** Who: [[w:Layne Staley|Layne Staley]], lead singer of [[Alice in Chains]]
*** Note: Staley was calling after friend and former bandmate [[w:Mike Starr (musician)|Mike Starr]], who angrily stormed out of Staley's apartment following an argument. Staley is believed to have passed away a day later, on April 5, 2002, of a drug overdose. Staley's body wasn't found by police until two weeks after his death.

* Я закончил. Я даже не доверяю себе. (''Ya zakonchil. Ya dazhe ne doveryayu sebe.'')
** Translation: I am finished. I don't even trust myself.
** Who: [[w:Joseph Stalin|Joseph Stalin]], leader of the [[w:Soviet Union|Soviet Union]]
*** Note: Stalin's health had been falling in the previous weeks and he made this remark as his paranoia grew ever stronger. These were his final remarks to his subordinates, his actual final words, if any, are not known because Beria left him unattended for up to twelve hours after he suffered a stroke. His daughter Svetlana remarked that, as Stalin was on his deathbed, &quot;He suddenly sat up, groaned, shook his fist at the ceiling as if he could see beyond it, then fell back and died.&quot;

* Get out of it! Get out of it!
** Who: Ed States, captain aboard [[w:American Airlines Flight 587|American Airlines Flight 587]]
*** Note: Said as the flight spun out of control following the separation of the stabilizer from the airplane, shortly after Sten Molin's last words. The plane crashed four seconds later, killing all 260 passengers and crew (plus five civilians on the ground).

*''Es lebe unser heiliges Deutschland!''
** Translation: Long live our holy Germany!
**Who: [[w:Claus von Stauffenberg|Claus von Stauffenberg]], seconds before being executed by a Nazi firing squad for his role in an [[w:20 July plot|attempt]] on the life of Adolf Hitler. Stauffenberg's biographer, Peter Hoffmann, speculates that the words, which exist in differing versions, were actually ''Es lebe die geheime Deutschland!'' (Long live the secret Germany!), a tenet held by the poet Stefan George and his circle.

* ''Náða góðan daginn, ástin mín.''
** Translation: Have a good day, my love.
** Who: [[Stefán Karl Stefánsson]]
*** Note: Last words publicly known, taken from a video filmed on the day of his death.

* What is the answer? [''no response''] In that case, what is the question?
** Who: [[Gertrude Stein]], spoken to [[w:Alice B. Toklas|Alice B. Toklas]].

* I'm feeling much better now, Doc.
** Who: [[w:Jock Stein|Jock Stein]], manager of the [[w:Scotland national football team|Scotland national football team]].
*** Note: While managing for Scotland in their last group game of the [[w:1986 FIFA World Cup qualification – UEFA Group 7|1986 FIFA World Cup qualification]], Stein suffered a pulmonary edema (fluid buildup in the lungs) two minutes before the final whistle (and Scotland's unlikely qualification for the UEFA-OFC playoff against Australia). Stein was carried into the medical room and given an injection by team doctor Stewart Hillis, who heard Stein's whisper his last words seconds before falling unconscious. It was later revealed that Stein had stopped taking diuretics leading up to the match, which likely caused his death.

* ''Herr Heise, für heute reicht's.''
** Translation: Mr. Heise, enough for today.
** Who: [[w:Erfurt school massacre|Robert Steinhäuser]], perpetrator of the Erfurt school massacre in Germany in 2002.
*** Note: Steinhäuser, an expelled student of the school, had been confronted by a teacher (Mr. Heise), and promptly committed suicide after saying this.

* מרן לא תקים להון הדא חטיתא (''Maran la t'qim l'hun hadhei kh'titha'')
** Translation: Lord, do not hold this sin against them
*** Who: [[w:Saint Stephen|Saint Stephen]]

* Do not walk quite so fast and do hold your head up Marietta.
** Who: [[Adlai Stevenson II]], speaking to his girlfriend while walking. He then collapsed and died.

* Does my face look strange? . . . My head! My head!
** Who: [[Robert Louis Stevenson]], author
*** Note: Stevenson collapsed from cerebral hemorrhage and died shortly after.

* I'm going to go be with Gloria now.
** Who: [[Jimmy Stewart]], speaking of his late wife

* We're still at 2,000 feet, right?
** Who: Bert Stockstill
*** Note: Stockstill was first officer on [[w:Eastern Air Lines Flight 401|Eastern Air Lines Flight 401]]. When approaching Miami International Airport, their destination, on the night of December 29, 1972, the light on the cockpit indicating the landing gear were down failed to light. The flight crew became preoccupied with figuring out if the gear or just the light had malfunctioned, to the point that they were looking at the circuitry beneath the instrument panel. In the course of this inspection, Captain John Loft inadvertently switched off the autopilot, causing the plane to lose altitude rapidly. After Stockstill asked this question, Loft apparently realized something was wrong and responded &quot;Hey—what's happening here?&quot;. Ten seconds later the plane crashed into the Everglades, killing 101, including Loft and Stockstill.   

* Make the world better.
** Who: [[Lucy Stone]], American [[w:abolitionism|abolitionist]], [[w:feminism|feminist]], [[w:activism|activist]]

* We have been together for 40 years, and we will not separate now.
** Who: [[w:Ida Straus|Ida Straus]], wife of [[w:Isidor Straus|Isidor Straus]], co-owner of [[w:Macy's Department Store|Macy's]], and victim aboard the [[w:RMS Titanic|Titanic]].
*** Note: She refused to take a lifeboat, which would have meant separating from her husband.

* ''Heil Hitler! Dies ist mein Purimfest 1946. Ich gehe zu Gott. Die Bolschewisten werden eines Tages Euch auch hängen.''
** Translation Heil Hitler! This is my [[W:Purim|Purim]] celebration 1946. I go to God. The [[W:Bolshevik|Bolshevists]] will one day hang you, too.
** Who: [[Julius Streicher]], publisher of the infamous Nazi tabloid ''Der Stürmer'' and one-time Gauleiter of Franconia, moments before being hanged for crimes against humanity.
*** Note: Of all the condemned Nazis, he was the only one to salute Hitler before his own execution.

* ''¡Carajo, un balazo!''
** Translation: Damn, a bullet!
** Who: [[w:Antonio José de Sucre|Antonio José de Sucre]], after being shot while riding his horse in the jungle in Colombia on his way home. He was said to be a fine gentleman who had never cursed until that day, according to Ricardo Palma's &quot;Tradiciones en Salsa Verde&quot;.

*Hang down one of my hands out of coffin. People should see that Suleyman, the sultan, has left this world empty-handed.
**Who: Suleiman the Magnificent, Ottoman Sultan

*Please don't let me fall.
**Who: [[w:Mary Surratt|Mary Surratt]], before being hanged for her part in the conspiracy to assassinate President Lincoln. She was the first woman executed by the United States federal government.

* Oh, shit!
** Who: [[w:Brandon Swanson|Brandon Swanson]]
*** Note: Spoken as he was telephoning a parent. To this day, his whereabouts remain unknown, and nobody knows why he exclaimed this.

* I'm not afraid of death. I'm going home.
** Who: [[w:Patrick Swayze|Patrick Swayze]], American actor.
*** Note: As quoted by his family, prior to his death from pancreatic cancer.

* They might come back here. I might have to go. We are going to try to do something about this.
** Who: Brian David Sweeney, passenger aboard [[w:United Airlines Flight 175|United Airlines Flight 175]], which crashed into the South Tower of the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001.
*** Note: Like United Airlines Flight 93, it appeared that the passengers aboard also planned to resist the hijackers by storming the cockpit. However, just two minutes later, the plane flew into the South Tower.

* I see water. I see buildings. I see buildings! We are flying low. We are flying very, very low. We are flying way too low. Oh my God we are flying way too low. Oh my God!
**Who: [[w:Madeline Amy Sweeney|Madeline Amy Sweeney]], flight attendant who was on the phone with airline manager Michael Woodward when American Airlines Flight 11 was crashed by terrorists into the North Tower of the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001.

* I'm going to kill you!
** Who: [[w:Carl Switzer|Carl Switzer]]
*** Note: Said during a brawl with an acquaintance over a dispute on money. After screaming the above line, he was shot in the groin.

* One – two – three… eight feet long / Two strides across, the rest is dark… / Life is a fleeting question mark / One – two – three… maybe another week. / Or the next month may still find me here, / But death, I feel is very near. / I could have been 23 next July / I gambled on what mattered most, the dice were cast. I lost.
** Who: [[w:Hannah Szenes|Hannah Szenes]]
*** Note: This poem, found in her cell, is the last poem she is known to have written. A letter, found on her body after her execution, read, &quot;Dear mother, I don’t know what to tell you. I will only say this: A thousand thanks and more, and forgive me, if you can. After all, you will understand, better than anyone else, that words are not necessary now. With great love, your daughter.&quot;

=T=
* Good morning.
** Who: [[William Howard Taft]], 27th President of the United States

* もうダメ! (''Mō dame!'')
** Translation: We can't do anything now!
** Who: Masami Takahama, captain of [[w:Japan Airlines Flight 123|Japan Airlines Flight 123]]
*** Note: Said just before the flight impacted Mount Takamagahara, killing all but four of 524 people aboard. Sources often state that Takahama's words were &quot;It's the end&quot;. The aircraft accident report, however, considers the recorded words indecipherable.

* It is time for a new direction...
** Who: [[w:Andrei Tarkovsky|Andrei Tarkovsky]], as reported by his wife.

* Please — please don't kill me — I don't want to die. I just want to have my baby.
** Who: [[Sharon Tate]], victim of confessed murderer [[w:Susan Atkins|Susan Atkins]] (aka Sadie Mae Glutz) of the Manson family, as reported in the court testimony of Virginia Graham. Atkins told Graham she responded to Tate's plea with: &quot;Look, bitch, you might as well face it right now, you're going to die, and I don't feel a thing behind it.&quot;

* I am about to die. I expect the summons very soon. I have tried to discharge my duties faithfully. I regret nothing, but I am sorry I am about to leave my friends.
** Who: [[Zachary Taylor]], 12th President of the United States

* I hope you guys enjoyed my content and that I made some of you laugh, and I hope you all go on to live long, prosperous, and happy lives because I love you guys. Technoblade out.
** Who: [[w:Technoblade|Technoblade]], prominent [[w:Minecraft|Minecraft]] YouTuber and streamer.
*** Note: Written as part of his final message on his father's laptop, eight hours before his death from a Stage 4 sarcoma. The message was read out by his father in a video titled &quot;so long nerds&quot;.

* Die, my dear doctor, that's the last thing I shall do!
** Who: [[Henry John Temple, 3rd Viscount Palmerston]]

* Oh that press will have me now!
** Who: [[Alfred, Lord Tennyson]]

* Jesus, I love you. Jesus, I love you.
** Who: [[Mother Teresa]] (Sept 5, 1997)
*** Note: Sister Nirmala Joshi recalled, &quot;Just hours before her death, Mother Teresa spoke about the Little Flower, St. Therese. She has just been declared a 'Doctor of the Church' by Pope John Paul II. Her last words are: &quot;Can you imagine, for doing little things with great love, the Church is making her a Doctor, like St. Augustine and the big St. Teresa! It is just like Jesus said in the Gospel to the one who was seated in the lowest place: &quot;Friend, come up higher.&quot; St. Therese's last words were quite similar, &quot;Oh, I love him; my God, I love you&quot;.

* Pity me not. I die as a man of honour ought, in discharge of my duty. They indeed are objects of pity who fight against their king, their country, and their oath.
** Who: [[w:Pierre Terrail, seigneur de Bayard|Pierre Terrail]], seigneur de Bayard (April 30, 1524)
*** Note: ''Le chevalier sans peur et sans reproche'', died of an arquebus shot to the back in battle with the Spaniards. He was propped up against a tree and, for want of a crucifix, he was confessed with his sword. Even the enemy commander attended him at his death.

* 頼むから仕事をさせてくれ！ (''Tanomu kara shigoto wo sasete kure!'')
** Translation: I'm begging you, let me work!
** Who: [[w:Osamu Tezuka|Osamu Tezuka]], legendary Japanese cartoonist and animator
*** He spoke these words as a nurse took his drawing board from his hospital bed and encouraged him to get some sleep.

* Take a picture!
** Who: [[w:Alan Thicke|Alan Thicke]]
*** Thicke had suffered an aortic dissection while playing hockey and joked to his son to take a picture of him. Thicke unexpectedly died after being taken to the hospital.

* Roses plural or Rose's roses with an apostrophe?
** Who: [[Dylan Thomas]]
*** Note: Spoke those words to his girlfriend Liz, who told him that her friend had seen white mice and roses. He lapsed into a coma from excessive drinking and died.

* Is the mic still on?
** Who: [[w:Shannon Charles Thomas|Shannon Charles Thomas]]
*** Note: Thomas, a death row inmate executed by the state of Texas in 2005 for murder, had made a lengthy final statement before the lethal injection started. After the drugs began to take effect he asked this final question.

* Pretty weak, but I'll be all right in a little while, don't worry, darling.
** Who: [[w:Olive Thomas|Olive Thomas]]
*** Note: Thomas had accidentally ingested a lethal dose of her husband's syphilis medicine, composed of the poisonous compound mercuric bichloride. She died three days later, and her husband, Jack, said that these were her last words, a response to his asking how she felt, before she died later that day.

* No more games. No more bombs. No more walking. No more fun. No more swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No fun - for anybody. 67. You are getting greedy. Act your old age. Relax - This won't hurt.
** Who: [[Hunter S. Thompson]]
*** Note: Said on a suicide note written four days before his death. He was 67 when he took his own life.

* Ah, here we go.
** Who: Ted Thompson, captain of [[w:Alaska Airlines Flight 261|Alaska Airlines Flight 261]]
*** Note: The plane had gone into an upside-down nosedive after the jackscrew assembly failed, causing a loss in pitch control, shortly after recovering from an earlier nosedive caused by unjamming the horizontal stabilizer. The pilots had been attempting to regain control. The plane crashed into the Pacific Ocean about one second later, killing all crew and passengers.

* Moose ... Indian.
** Who: [[Henry David Thoreau]]
*** Note: These words he had said in a delirium before expiring. When urged earlier to make his peace with God his last coherent response was, &quot;I did not know that we had ever quarreled.&quot;

* God bless... God damn.
** Who: [[James Thurber]], humorist, d. 1961

* I'm Pat Fucking Tillman
** Who: [[w:Pat Tillman|Pat Tillman]], Former American professional football player in the National Football League (NFL) who left his sports career and enlisted in the United States Army in May 2002. Killed in action as a result of friendly fire. &lt;ref&gt;https://www.theatlantic.com/daily-dish/archive/2010/08/-im-pat-fucking-tillman/183466/&lt;/ref&gt;

* No, I'm not!
** Who: American musician, music historian and ukulele player [[w:Tiny Tim (musician)|Tiny Tim]] (real name: Herbert Khaury)
** Tiny Tim suffered a heart attack while playing &quot;Tiptoe Through the Tulips&quot; at a Gala Benefit. His wife asked him if he was okay and he said, &quot;No, I'm not!&quot; After that he collapsed and died at a hospital in Minnesota.

* ''Što sve to znači?''
** Translation: What is this all about?
** Who: [[Josip Broz Tito]], leader of the [[w:Yugoslav Partisans]] and president [[w:Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia|Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia]]
*** Note: Words spoken in the hospital, where Tito had been for some time as his condition continued to worsen.

* ''Mihi vita immerenti eripitur; neque enim extat ullum meum factum paenitendum expecto dumtaxat uno.''
** Translation: I deserve not death, but I repent nothing else in my life except for one thing.
** Who: [[w:Titus|Titus]], Roman Emperor

* Get out here. I'm getting killed.
** Who: [[w:Timothy Treadwell|Timothy Treadwell]]
*** Note: Said to his girlfriend, Amie Huguenard, as he was being mauled to death by a bear. Huguenard was also killed.&lt;ref&gt;{{cite news
 | first = Craig
 | last = Medred
 | url = http://www.adn.com/2003/10/09/585763/treadwell-get-out-here-im-getting.html
 | title = Treadwell: 'Get out here. I'm getting killed'
 | work = Anchorage Daily News
 | date = [[October 9]], [[2003]]
 | accessdate = 2010-06-02
}}&lt;/ref&gt;

* I am very sorry it is taking me so long to die. The Greater East Asia War was justified and righteous. I am very sorry for the nation and all the races of the Greater Asiatic powers. I wait for the righteous judgment of history. I wished to commit suicide but sometimes that fails.
** Who: [[Hideki Tōjō]]
*** Note: He said these words after unsuccessfully trying to shoot himself in the heart.

* Yes.
** Who: [[w:Alice B. Toklas|Alice B. Toklas]]
*** Note: Her response when asked if she wanted to die.

* But the peasants...how do the peasants die?
** Who: [[Leo Tolstoy]]

* I'm at 900 feet. I don't think I can make the airport. Negative on the airport.
** Who: [[w:Peter Tomarken|Peter Tomarken]], game show host
*** Note: Spoken over his plane's [[w:Cockpit voice recorder|CVR]], moments before it splashed into Santa Monica Bay, killing him and his wife Kathleen.

* Yes, it'll be 150, Forest Lawn Cemetery, in the back of a Ford pickup.
** Who: [[w:Dick Trickle|Dick Trickle]], NASCAR driver
*** Note: From a 911 call asking who was going to commit suicide. Trickle responded with &quot;I'm the one.&quot; His granddaughter, who died in a car accident, was buried in the same cemetery.

* I will not survive this attack. Stalin has finally accomplished the task he attempted unsuccessfully before.
** Who: [[Leon Trotsky]]
** According to: [[James P. Cannon]], the secretary of the Socialist Workers Party (USA)
** ''Don't kill this man. He has a story to tell.''
*** Right after being hurt, Trotsky said this to his guards, who were about to kill [[w:Ramón Mercader|Mercader]], the man who had mortally wounded him with an ice axe.
** ''I am close to death from the blow a political assassin... struck me down in my room. I struggled with him... we... entered... talk about French statistics... he struck me... Please say to our friends... I am sure... of the victory... of the Fourth International... Onward''
*** These are his last words as recorded by [[w:Isaac Deutscher |Isaac Deutscher]] in his book ''The Prophet Outcast''.

* I go to prepare a place for you.
* Swing low, swing chariot.
** Who: [[Harriet Tubman]], African-American abolitionist and political activist
*** Note: The first quote was said to friends and family at her deathbed. One account states that Tubman told a clergyman, &quot;Give my love to all the churches&quot;, and then a variation of the first quote which is a farewell passage that Tubman learned from [[w:Matthew the Apostle|Matthew]]: &quot;I go away to prepare a place for you, and where I am ye may be also&quot;. The second quote is attributed to a report that Tubman gathered her family around and they sang together.

* Yes sir, I would like to say to all of you – the Thornton family and Jerry Dean's family that I am so sorry. I hope God will give you peace with this. Baby, I love you. Ron, give Peggy a hug for me. Everybody has been so good to me. I love all of you very much. I am going to be face to face with Jesus now. Warden Baggett, thank all of you so much. You have been so good to me. I love all of you very much. I will see you all when you get there. I will wait for you.
** Who: [[w:Karla Faye Tucker|Karla Faye Tucker]]
*** Note: Last words before being executed by lethal injection.

* אין דבר, טוב למות בעד ארצנו (''Ein davar, tov lamut be'ad arzenu'')
** Translation: Never mind; it is good to die for our country.
** Who: [[w:Joseph Trumpeldor|Joseph Trumpeldor]] (1880-1920)
** Trumpeldor was a soldier and early pioneer/settler in Israel who died defending the Tel-Hai settlement from an Arab attack.
*** Note: Modern Israeli jocular rumor claims Trumpeldor's actual last words were merely a juicy Russian curse.

* ''Sāmoa, fīlēmū pea, ma si oʻu toto neʻi taʻuvalea, a ʻia aogā loʻu ola mo lenei mea.''
** Translation: Samoa, be peaceful, my blood will not be slandered, yet my life will not be in vain for this.
*** Also quoted as: My blood has been spilt for Samoa. I am proud to give it. Do not dream of avenging it, as it was spilt in peace. If I die, peace must be maintained at any price.
** Who: [[w:Tupua Tamasese Lealofi III|Tupua Tamasese Lealofi III]], Samoan paramount chief and [[w:Mau movement|Mau movement]] leader
*** Note: Fatally shot by New Zealand colonial police during a peaceful demonstration welcoming home [[w:Alfred Smyth (politician)|Alfred Smyth]] from exile.

* The sun is God.
** Who: [[J. M. W. Turner]]

* It's in God's hands now.
** Who: [[Nat Turner]], enslaved African-American preacher and leader of a [[w:Nat Turner's slave rebellion|slave rebellion]], which he was later executed for.
*** Note: Said immediately before he was hanged.

* Good bye. If we meet-
** Who: [[Mark Twain]]
*** Note: Spoken to his daughter Clara.

* Doctor, I am going. ''[Doctor: &quot;I hope not, sir.&quot;]'' Perhaps it is best.
** Who: [[John Tyler]], 10th President of the United States

=U=
*Tell the boys I'm coming home.
** Who: [[w:Wilbur Underhill|Wilbur Underhill]], bank robber.

*No WWE talent becomes a legend on their own. Every man's heart one day beats its final beat. His lungs breathe their final breath. And if what that man did in his life makes the blood pulse through the body of others and makes them believe deeper in something larger than life then his essence, his spirit, will be immortalized. By the story tellers, by the loyalty, by the memory of those who honor him and make the running the man did live forever. You, you, you, you, you, you are the legend makers of Ultimate Warrior. In the back I see many potential legends. Some of them with warrior spirits. And you will do the same for them. You will decide if they lived with the passion and intensity. So much so that you will tell your stories and you will make them legends, as well. I am Ultimate Warrior. You are the Ultimate Warrior fans. And the spirit of the Ultimate Warrior will run forever!
** Who: [[w:The Ultimate Warrior|Ultimate Warrior]], American professional wrestler.
*** Note: Spoken on the April 7, 2014 edition of ''[[w:WWE Raw|WWE Monday Night Raw]]'', addressing the live audience in what would be his final live appearance. The next day, he would die of a heart attack. Although these are not technically his last words, they are the last words the public heard him say.

*There is shooting, people are being terrorized, people are inside their homes lying on the floor. We are suffering the consequences of the death of the head of state, I believe. We, the civilians, are in no way responsible for the death of our head of state.
** Who: [[w:Agathe Uwilingiyimana|Agathe Uwilingiyimana]], Prime Minister of Rwanda. Better known as &quot;Madame Agathe&quot;.
*** Note: This was part of an interview with [[w:Radio France|Radio France]] on the night of President [[w:Juvénal Habyarimana|Juvénal Habyarimana]]'s assassination. The following day, Rwandan troops stormed Madame Agathe's home and killed her. This event helped set off the [[w:Rwandan genocide|Rwandan genocide]].

=V=
* Don't pull down the blinds. I feel fine. I want the sunlight to greet me!
** Who: [[w:Rudolph Valentino|Rudolph Valentino]], Italo-American actor and ''Latin Lover''.

* I wish we could be there; you know how I love a party.
** Who: [[w:Rudy Vallée|Rudy Vallee]], one of the first American crooners.
** &quot;There&quot; was the centennial celebration of the Statue of Liberty, which Vallee was watching on television.

*There is but one reliance.
** Who: [[Martin Van Buren]], 8th President of the United States

* ''Genade, genade! We kunnen er toch over praten?''
** Translation: Mercy, mercy! Can't we talk this over?
** Who: [[w:Theo van Gogh|Theo van Gogh]], Dutch film director and publicist.
*** Note: Van Gogh said this to his murderer Mohammed Bouyeri, just before the latter stabbed him in his throat.

* ''La tristesse durera toujours.''
** Translation: The sadness will last forever.
** Who: [[Vincent van Gogh]], Dutch painter.

* It is hovering and it's not an aircraft.
** Who: [[w:Valentich disappearance|Frederick Valentich]]
*** Note: These were the last recorded words of Valentich, an Australian pilot, who disappeared after contacting air traffic control claiming to be pursued by a purported UFO.

* I have had no real gratification or enjoyment of any sort more than my neighbour on the next block who is worth only half a million.
** Who: [[w:William Henry Vanderbilt|William Henry Vanderbilt]] (1821-1885), American businessman

* ''...e saio da vida, para entrar na história.''
** Translation: ...and I leave life so that I can walk into history.
** Who: [[w:Getulio Vargas|Getulio Vargas]], Brazilian President.
*** Note: These were the last words written in his suicide letter.

* Please leave the window open.
** Who: [[w:Jim Varney|Jim Varney]], actor.
*** Note: These words were said to Varney's companion before dying from lung cancer.

* All right then, I'll say it: Dante makes me sick.
** Who: [[w:Lope de Vega|Lope de Vega]], famous playwright, on being assured that the end was very near.

* ''La Révolution est comme Saturne : elle dévore ses propres enfants.''
** Translation: The revolution is like Saturn: It devours its own children.
** Who: [[Pierre Vergniaud]], French revolutionary

* ''Vae, puto, deus fio... imperatorem stantem oportet mori.'' (when he thought he was dying)
** Translation: Woe, I think I'm turning into a god... An emperor should die on his feet.
** Who: [[w:Vespasian|Vespasian]], Roman emperor
** Source: [[Suetonius]]
*** Note: And indeed, Vespasian was deified after his death. This comment is thought to be sarcastic, expressing Vespasian's disdain for apotheosis. 

*We made a death pact, and I have to accomplish my part of the deal. Please bury me next to my baby. Please bury me with my leather jacket, jeans and motorcycle boots. Goodbye. With love, Sid.
** Who: [[Sid Vicious]], bassist of the [[Sex Pistols]]
*** Note: Talking about his girlfriend, Nancy, who had died a month earlier.

* For hearing, we need a language.
** Who: [[w:M. N. Vijayan|M. N. Vijayan]]
*** Note: Vijayan died from a massive heart attack during a recorded speech. These were his last words.

* ''Ho offeso Dio e l'umanità perché il mio lavoro non ha raggiunto la qualità che dovrebbe avere.''
** Translation: I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have.
** Who: [[Leonardo da Vinci]]

*''Mantua me genuit, Calabri rapuere, tenet nunc Parthenope; cecini pascua rura duces.''
** Translation: Mantua bore me, Calabria snatched me away, now Naples holds me; I sang of pastures, fields, and kings.
** Who: [[Virgil]], Roman Poet, he wrote the [[w:Eclogues|Eclogues]] (pastoral poetry), the [[w:Georgics|Georgics]] (ostensibly a didactic guide to farming), and the [[w:Aeneid|Aeneid]] (the foundation myth of Rome), hence &quot;pastures, fields and kings.&quot;

* Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies. [''attributed'']
** Who: [[Voltaire]], when asked by a priest to renounce Satan
*** Note: Other sources say his final words were &quot;I am abandoned by God and man! I will give you half of what I am worth if you will give me six months' life. Then I shall go to hell; and you will go with me. O Christ! O Jesus Christ!&quot;; the earliest report of this version was by Charles Buck, an American preacher, who wrote of it in 1822, more than forty years after the death of Voltaire.
** Another variant is &quot;For God's sake, leave me alone!&quot;, when asked by the priest to renounce Satan.

=W=
* The doctor says I won't get home for the celebration.
** Who: [[w:Robert Wadlow|Robert Wadlow]], Also known as the Alton Giant, tallest man in the world
*** Note: This is what Wadlow said before he died in his sleep.

* ''Meine Uhr!''
** Translation: My watch!
** Who: [[Richard Wagner]], German composer
*** Note: Wagner was dying in his wife's arms when a watch fell from his pocket onto the floor. These words have been contradicted by other sources. The words &quot;Love – Tragedy&quot; have also been attributed as his final; his last recorded words were &quot;I am fond of them, of the inferior beings of the abyss, of those who are full of longing.&quot;

* These confounded railroads have a passion for smashing up my best cars.
** Who: [[w:Webster Wagner|Webster Wagner]]
*** These are the last words Wagner, founder of the sleeper-car company that bore his name and a New York state senator at the time of his death, is known to have said before dying in the [[w:1882 Spuyten Duyvil train wreck|1882 Spuyten Duyvil train wreck]]. The train had stopped unexpectedly between stations after another state legislator, reportedly intoxicated, thought it would be funny to pull the emergency brake. After saying this, Wagner got up to investigate the reason for the stop. Minutes later, another train rear-ended the one he was on; his severely burnt body was later found crushed to death between two of his own company's cars. 

* Let's go for a drive.
** Who: [[w:Paul Walker|Paul Walker]]

* Alaska, play &quot;My Way&quot; by Frank Sinatra.
** Who: [[w:Art Wander|Art Wander]], American broadcaster known for his work in the beautiful music radio format.
*** Note: &quot;Alaska&quot; was his nickname for his [[w:Amazon Alexa|Alexa]] speaker.&lt;ref&gt;{{Cite web |date=2025-08-14 |title=Veteran Buffalo broadcaster Art Wander dies at 98 |url=https://www.audacy.com/wben/news/local/veteran-buffalo-broadcaster-art-wander-dies-at-98 |access-date=2025-08-14 |website=[[WBEN (AM)|WBEN]] |language=en}}&lt;/ref&gt;

* Take me home. I was born in the South and I wish to die and be buried in the South.
** Who: [[Booker T. Washington]]

* I am just going. Have me decently buried and do not let my body be into a vault in less than two days after I am dead. Do you understand me? [''&quot;Yes,&quot; replied Tobias Lear, his secretary.''] {{'}}Tis well.
**Who: [[George Washington]], first President of the United States
*** Note: Washington had a fear of being buried alive.

* Ain't that a bitch.
** Who: [[w:Johnny Watson|Johnny &quot;Guitar&quot; Watson]], American blues, soul, and funk musician.

* I am very sensible of the attatchment you show me, and I hasten to thank you for it, as I feel I am now come to my last illness.
** Who: [[w:James Watt|James Watt]], Scottish inventor, mechanical engineer, and chemist.
*** Note: He was speaking to his friends, who were at his bedside.

*I'm out of here, man. I'm gone. Keep me in your hearts.
** Who: Kevin Watts
*** Note: Last words before being executed by lethal injection for a triple murder.

*Carry me to the fort, boys. Let's go forward.
** Who: [[Anthony Wayne]]
*** Note: The &quot;fort&quot; might be Fort Presque Isle, which is now Erie, PA.

*Of course I know who you are. You're my girl. I love you.
** Who: [[John Wayne]], spoken to his wife.

* This is your friend. Don't forget to tell me how your mother is.
** Who: [[Orson Welles]]
*** Note: Message left on a friend's answering machine before he died.

* Go away. I'm all right.
** Who: [[H. G. Wells]]
*** Note: Wells did not realize he was dying.

*The best of all is: God is with us.
** Who: [[John Wesley]]

*Get 'em all out of here!
** Who: Roy Westerfield, Company Comptroller for Pacific Engineering Production Company of Nevada ([[w:PEPCON disaster|PEPCON]]) of Henderson, Nevada
*** Note: Moments before the plant was engulfed in a massive explosion on May 4, 1988, he was talking to a fire department dispatcher over the telephone, when he shouted those words to fellow employee Bruce Halker, who was guiding other employees out of the building. They were both killed in the explosion.[http://classiclasvegas.squarespace.com/classic-las-vegas-blog/2008/5/6/pepcon-explosion-20-years-gone.html]

*What did I do wrong?
** Who: [[w:Murder of Jacob Wetterling|Jacob Wetterling]]
*** Note: Jacob Wetterling was an 11-year old boy who was kidnapped and sexually assaulted by pedophile Danny Heinrich on October 22, 1989. Years later, Heinrich himself admitted that Wetterling said these words before he killed him by shooting him twice in the head.

* I ''know'' it!
** Who: Captain Larry Wheaton to First Officer Roger Pettit of [[w:Air Florida Flight 90|Air Florida Flight 90]], January 13, 1982. Spoken in response to Pettit's comment, &quot;Larry! We're going down, Larry!&quot;

* Let's go, I'm ready to go for this thing, we can win this thing!
** Who: [[w:Dan Wheldon|Dan Wheldon]], two time Indianapolis 500 winner and 2005 IndyCar Champion
*** Note: According to his team owner at the time, Sam Schmidt, these were his last words over his team radio during the early stages of the 2011 IndyCar IZOD World Championships at Las Vegas Motor Speedway. Eleven laps into the event, a fifteen-car accident in Turn 3 launched his car into the air, and up against the catchfence, killing him instantly.

* Leave me alone - I'm fine.
** Who: [[w:Barry White|Barry White]]

* Allen!
** Who: [[w:Betty White|Betty White]], American comedienne
*** Note: Reportedly. If genuine, probably referring to her late husband [[w:Allen Ludden|Allen Ludden]], who had died 40 years prior.[https://pagesix.com/2022/01/03/vicki-lawrence-reveals-betty-whites-last-word-before-death/]

* Shift! Shift!
** Who: [[w:Walt Whitman|Walt Whitman]]

* My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go.
** Who: [[Oscar Wilde]]
** Variation: These curtains are killing me, one of us has got to go.
** Popular variation often found in &quot;Famous Last Words&quot;-lists: &quot;Either the wallpaper goes, or I do.&quot;
*** Note: Mr. Wilde said this in the Left Bank hotel where he died on November 30 1900, the wallpaper has since been removed and the room re-furnished in the style of one of Mr. Wilde's London flats.
** Quibble: He actually said this a couple of weeks before his death.
** He was also reported to have ordered a bottle of the hotel's most expensive champagne to later say: I am dying beyond my means.
** Oscar Wilde died of cerebral meningitis on 30 November 1900. The last words he tried to utter were the Holy Names, the Acts of Contrition, Faith, Hope and Charity, with acts of humble resignation to the Will of God, which are all part of the Last Sacraments that were administered to him on 29 November.

* ''A mon Madame, de Sacré Maria, jo comant cros, a il, a ses preres, vait moi acorder a privé Fiz, nostre Seignur, Jhesu Christ.''
** Translation: To my Lady, the Holy Mary, I commend myself; that she, by her prayers, may reconcile me to her most dear Son, our Lord Jesus Christ.
** Who: [[William the Conqueror|William I of England]], aka [[w:William the Conqueror|William the Conqueror]].

* ''Descorde, Walter, a nom de le deable!''
** Translation: Shoot, Walter, in the devil's name!
** Who: [[w:William II of England|William II of England]]

* Can this last long?
** Who: [[William III of England]], when his doctor told him that he was ill.

* ''Mon Dieu, mon Dieu, ayez pitié de mon âme et de ce pauvre peuple.''
** Translation: My Lord, my Lord, have pity upon my soul and these poor people.
** Who: [[William the Silent]], Father of the Netherlands. He was shot and died soon after.

* That's a nice way to die. They was laughing when I made my last exit.
** Who: [[w:Bert Williams|Bert Williams]], one of the first successful black vaudevillians
*** Note: Williams collapsed on-stage in 1922, which the audience presumed was part of the comedy act and laughed.

* No.
** Who: [[w:Hank Williams|H. K. &quot;Hank&quot; Williams]], American country singer
*** Note: In response to whether he wanted something to eat.

* Oh, what's the bloody point?
** Who: [[w:Kenneth Williams|Kenneth Williams]], British actor and raconteur. This was the final entry in his diary.

* All praise be to Allah in every situation!!!
** Who: [[W:Marcellus Williams|Marcellus Williams]], convicted of the 1998 murder of reporter Felicia Gayle
*** Note: Last written statement given before his execution.  DNA evidence found at the crime scene did not match Williams, which had led to numerous calls for the execution to be stopped.

* Goodnight, my love. Goodnight. Goodnight.
** Who: [[Robin Williams]]
*** Note: Spoken to his wife Susan on the night before he committed suicide; she confirmed that these were the last words he said to her in an interview on ABC News.

* You guys doin' that right?
** Who: [[W:Stanley Williams|Stanley 'Tookie' Williams]], gangster and co-founder of [[W:The Crips|The Crips]], d. December 13, 2005. Said to his executioners who appeared to be having trouble operating the machinery.

* The act of taking my own life is not something I am doing without a lot of thought. I don't believe that people should take their own lives without deep and thoughtful reflection over a considerable period of time. I do believe strongly, however, that the right to do so is one of the most fundamental rights that anyone in a free society should have. For me much of the world makes no sense, but my feelings about what I am doing ring loud and clear to an inner ear and a place where there is no self, only calm. Love always, Wendy.
** Who: [[W:Wendy O. Williams|Wendy O. Williams]], punk rock performer

* Man, it's just raining like a son of a gun.
** Who: Kelley Williamson, [[w:storm chasing|storm chaser]] and co-host of The Weather Channel series Storm Wranglers.
*** Note: During a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cN08-h8DY6Q livestreamed storm chase] on March 28, 2017, Williamson uttered these words just before he sped through a stop sign near the town of Spur, Texas (the stream audio and video cuts out moments before entering the junction). The car struck a Jeep driven by another storm chaser, and Williamson, not wearing a seatbelt, was ejected from the vehicle and killed instantly. Series co-host Randy Yarnall, who was Williamson's passenger, and the driver of the Jeep were also killed instantly.

* My heart is crying, crying...
** Who: [[w:Jackie Wilson|Jackie Wilson]], American singer and performer
*** Note: On 29 September 1975, he was singing his hit song &quot;Lonely Teardrops&quot; when he suffered a massive heart attack on stage at the Latin Casino in Cherry Hill, NJ. The lack of oxygen to his brain left him comatose for the remainder of his life. He died nine years later on 21 January 1984. {{cite book |title= Notable Last Facts: A Compendium of Endings, Conclusions, Terminations and Final Events Throughout History|last= Brahms|first= William B. |year= 2005|publisher= [[Reference Desk Press, Inc]]|location= Haddonfield, NJ|isbn= 978-09765325-0-6|page= 354}}.

*Various medical authorities swarm in and out of here predicting I have between two days and two months to live. I think they are guessing. I remain cheerful and unimpressed. I look forward without dogmatic optimism but without dread. I love you all and I deeply implore you to keep the lasagna flying. Please pardon my levity, I don't see how to take death seriously. It seems absurd.
** Who: [[Robert Anton Wilson]], Philosopher, Playwright, Science Fiction Author. Final blog entry, five days before his death &lt;!-- I don't know if these qualify as &quot;Last words&quot; but I will retain them until something more definitive is provided, they might be retained as a comment beneath any actual last words. --&gt; (6 January 2007)

*I'm not going to waste no time talking about my lifestyle, my case, my punishment. Mom, you've been there for me from the beginning. I love you. To my nieces, nephew and uncle I love you very much. Y'all stick together. Don't worry about me. I'm OK.
** Who: [[w:Willie Williams (murderer)|William James &quot;Flip&quot; Williams, Jr.]], executed by the State of Ohio for murder. He was pronounced dead at 10:20 a.m. EDT on October 25, 2005 after the lethal injection at the Southern Ohio Correctional Facility in Lucasville, Ohio. He did not have a last meal request, though did have a cup of coffee. His final statement is recorded above.

* I am a broken piece of machinery. When the machine is broken... I am ready.
** Who: [[Woodrow Wilson]], 28th President of the United States

* I don't want to die.
** Who: [[Amy Winehouse]]
*** Note: Spoken to her doctor over the phone two hours prior to her death.

* Tell them I've had a wonderful life.
** Who: [[Ludwig Wittgenstein]]
*** Note: This came as a surprise to the friends that heard this, as he was considered not to have lived an easy life.

* Six one going down.
** Who: Chief Warrant Officer Cliff &quot;Elvis&quot; Wolcott, pilot of black hawk helicopter Super Six One. 
*** Note: Wolcott's helicopter was shot down by an RPG during the [[w:Battle of Mogadishu|Battle of Mogadishu]]. This was his last recorded radio transmission; he and copilot CWO Donovan &quot;Bull&quot; Briley were killed in the crash.
**Source: [[w:Black Hawk Down (book)|Black Hawk Down]].

* Dearest, I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can't go through another of those terrible times. And I shan't recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can't concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don't think two people could have been happier 'til this terrible disease came. I can't fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can't even write this properly. I can't read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that – everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can't go on spoiling your life any longer. I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been. V.
** Who: [[Virginia Woolf]], author, in her suicide note to her husband. d. March 28, 1941

* Yes, I would just like to say I'm sailing with the rock, and I'll be back, like ''Independence Day'' with Jesus. June 6, like the movie. Big mother ship and all, I'll be back, I'll be back.
** Who: [[w:Aileen Wuornos|Aileen Wuornos]], convicted and executed serial killer.

=X=
* Brothers! Brothers, please! This is a house of peace!
** Who: [[Malcolm X]]
** Other reports have his last words being &quot;Now, now, brothers, break it up, be cool, be calm.&quot;
*** Note: Two men were staging a fight in the audience he was addressing to distract attention from assassins who were drawing their guns to shoot him. Reportedly, Malcolm was dead before his body struck the floor.

* In Thee, O Lord, have I trusted.
** Who: [[w:Francisco Ximenez de Cisneros|Francisco Ximenez de Cisneros]]
*** Note: A prayer from the Psalms.

=Y=
* I don't blame my executioners. I'll pray that the Gods bless them. Please send my thankful word to Col. Clarke and Lt. Col. Feldhaus, Lt. Col. Hendrix, Maj. Guy, Capt. Sandburg, Capt. Reel, at Manila court, and Col. Arnard. I thank you. I pray for the Emperor's long life and prosperity forever.
**Who: General [[Tomoyuki Yamashita]]

* 나의 죽음을 알리지 마라. (''Naui jug-eum-eul alliji mala.'')
** Translation: Do not let my death be known.
** Who: General [[w:Yi Sun-sin|Yi Sun-sin]], a Korean naval commander.
*** Note: He told his nephew to wear his armor and to hide his death until the battle is over to avoid demoralizing his men in the middle of battle.

* Kill me good.
** Who: [[w:Lum You|Lum You]], convicted murderer.
*** Note: Spoken to his executioner.

* והכינו כסא לחזקיהו מלך יהודה שבא (''Vehachinu kisse leChizkiyyahu melech Yehudah shebba'')
** Translation: And prepare a throne for Hezekiah, King of Judah, who is coming.
** Who: [[w:Yohanan ben Zakkai|Yohanan ben Zakkai]]

* Joseph! Joseph! Joseph!
** Who: [[Brigham Young]]
*** Referring to his predecessor as LDS Church president, [[Joseph Smith, Jr.]]

=Z=
* Let's rock.
**Who: [[w:Edmund Zagorski|Edmund Zagorski]], convicted murderer, shortly before execution November 1, 2018.

* You give me electric chair. I no afraid of that chair! You one of capitalist! You is crook man, too! Put me in electric chair! I no care! [''upon a minister trying to calm him''] Get the hell out of here, you son of a bitch! [''resuming his initial speech''] I got sit down all by myself... Viva Italia! Goodbye to all poor peoples everywhere! Lousy capitalist! No picture! No one here to take my picture! All capitalists lousy bunch of crooks! [''as his head was strapped in''] Adios to all the world! Go ahead! Push the button!
**Who: [[w:Giuseppe Zangara|Giuseppe Zangara]], who in 1933 had attempted to assassinate President-elect Franklin D. Roosevelt, and in doing so mortally wounded Chicago mayor Anton Cermak. His last words were dramatized in the 1991 musical ''[[w:Assassins (musical)|Assassins]] '' by [[Stephen Sondheim]] and [[John Weidman]].

* ירא יהוה וידרש (''Yerei Yawe v'yid'rosh'')
** Translation: May Yahweh see and avenge!
*** Who: [[w:Zechariah ben Jehoiada|Zechariah ben Jehoiada]]

* 我感觉不舒服。 打电话给医生。 (''Wǒ gǎnjué bú shūfú. Dǎ diànhuà gěi yīshēng.'')
** Translation: I feel ill. Call the doctors.
*** Who: [[Mao Zedong]]

* Well, we fooled 'em for a long time, didn't we?
** Who: [[w:Zip the Pinhead|William Henry &quot;Zip the Pinhead&quot; Johnson]]
*** Note: Spoken to his sister, Sarah van Duyne. Also known as &quot;What-Is-It?&quot;, he was a circus sideshow performer, known for his oddly tapered head. While he was presented as a [[w:Microcephaly|microcephalic]] (or &quot;pin-head'), he was not one in reality, nor did he have any mental disabilities as do authentic microcephalics. 

* Curtain! Fast music! Light! Ready for the last finale! Great! The show looks good, the show looks good!
** Who: [[w:Florenz Ziegfeld|Florenz Ziegfeld]], Showman
*** Note: He shouted these words in a delirium on his deathbed.

* Uh, we climbing to four thousand, two echo x-ray.
** Who: [[w:2020 Calabasas helicopter crash|Ara Zobayan]], pilot of the [[w:2020 Calabasas helicopter crash|Kobe Bryant helicopter crash]]
*** Note: [https://dms.ntsb.gov/pubdms/search/document.cfm?docID=484471&amp;docketID=63911&amp;mkey=100863 Last transmission sent by Zobayan at 9:45:19am], in response to SCT TRACON asking for the pilot's intentions after confirming flight following for N72EX. The pilot, likely losing situational awareness due to flying in low visibility, accidentally crashed into a mountainside twenty seconds later. All nine onboard, including Kobe Bryant and daughter Gianna, were killed instantly.

* Farewell, comrades! Fight, do not be afraid! [[Stalin]] is with us! Stalin will come!
** Who: [[w:Zoya Kosmodemyanskaya|Zoya Kosmodemyanskaya]], [[Soviet Union|Soviet]] partisan
*** Note: She was executed after acts of sabotage against the invading armies of [[Nazi Germany]].

=?=

* Not bloody likely!
** Who: Unknown British Sergeant
*** Note: Reportedly said during the last stand of the 44th Regiment of Foot, in response to an offer of surrender, shortly before their massacre by Afghan fighters at the Battle of Gandamak.

* ''Mein Gott, warum hast du mich verlassen? Sich fügen heißt lügen. Wenn es einen Gott gibt, muß er mich um Verzeihung bitten.''
** Translation: My god, why have you forsaken me? To bend means to lie. If there is a god, he must ask me forgiveness.
** Who: Unknown concentration camp prisoner
*** Note: These words were found scribbled into a cell wall at the Mauthausen concentration camp, its author a Jewish prisoner. 'To bend means to lie' is from a 1920 poem titled &quot;The Prisoner&quot;, written by Erich Mühsam, a German-Jewish antimilitarist anarchist poet.

* ''Hier, hier ist das deutsche Herz!''
** Translation: Here, here is the German heart!
** Who: The last of the &quot;Schillschen officers&quot; - a group of eleven Prussian officers executed on the Schillschen Field in Wesel, Germany, by Napoleon's troops. 
*** Note: Reportedly said after his ten fellow-officers were shot by the firing squad, leaving him alive unintentionally. He was promptly shot.

* Ma, I love you.
** Who: Unidentified [[w:PSA Flight 182|PSA Flight 182]] crew member.
*** Note: Last words recorded by the CVR of the flight, shortly after colliding mid-air with a Cessna while attempting to land. The plane crashed three seconds later.

* June 3. Cold Harbor. I was killed.
** Who: Unidentified Union Soldier
*** Note: Found in a blood-spattered diary on the body of an anonymous Union soldier on [[w:Battle of Cold Harbor|June 3, 1864]].
 
==See also==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{wiktionary}}
*[[Cemetery]]
*[[Death]]
*[[Epitaph]]
*[[Funeral]]
*[[Grave (burial)]]
*[[Immortality]]
*[[Suicide notes]]
*[[Undertakers]]

==External links==
*[http://www.facebook.com/pages/Reference-Desk-Press-Inc/143911585633276 Last Words of Notable People]
*[http://www.corsinet.com/braincandy/dying.html Dying words of famous people]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBmjLEq9-1k &quot;Geeking out over dying declarations&quot;]

[[Category:Last words|*]]

=References=
{{reflist}}</text>
      <sha1>ksmopzehbgu809ve3mjatq2docikjsd</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Wikiquote:Administrators</title>
    <ns>4</ns>
    <id>382</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944095</id>
      <parentid>3941506</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T00:04:50Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>PieWriter</username>
        <id>3267587</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>policy</comment>
      <origin>3944095</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="8433" sha1="h1tar7036bp2x6h67qq21g1e3mrvdod" xml:space="preserve">{{policy|WQ:ADMIN|WQ:SYSOP}}
[[File:Wikiquote Administrator.png|150px|right]]

'''Administrators''' are Wikiquotians who have &quot;''sysop rights''&quot;.
Current English Wikiquote policy is to grant this access liberally to anyone who has been an active Wikiquote contributor for a while and is generally a known and trusted member of the community.
&quot;This should be no big deal,&quot; as [[w:Jimbo Wales|Jimbo]] has said.

&quot;Sysop&quot; and &quot;administrator&quot; are really misnomers, as they are just Wikiquote users who have had performance and security-based restrictions on a couple of features lifted because they seemed like trustworthy folks and asked nicely. Sysops are not imbued with any special ''authority'', and are equal to everybody else in terms of editorial responsibility.

== What's the deal? ==
The Wiki software has few restricted features, but they are quite important. Sysops can:

* '''Edit the [[Main Page]]''', which is protected to prevent vandalism. Anyone can suggest changes to it at [[Talk:Main Page]]. &lt;!-- decomment when appropriate: The Main Page used to receive a ''lot'' of vandalism; protecting it is an unfortunate compromise to keep our welcome mat free of random profanity and spam. --&gt;
* '''Edit other protected pages'''. They can also protect and unprotect pages. For information and guidelines, or to challenge a decision to protect, see [[Wikiquote:Protected page]].
* '''Delete pages and their history'''. For information and guidelines, see [[Wikiquote:Deletion policy]]. To suggest a page to delete (after reading the policy), see [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion]]. Sometimes deletion is a technical matter, in which a redirection page has to be removed to make way for renaming an article, or a page whose history has been broken up has to be deleted and the pieces recombined. Other times it's a matter of cleaning up simple junk edits on pages with no actual content, or removing material that has been pasted in from another site and infringes [[Wikiquote:Copyrights|copyright]].
* '''Undelete pages and their history'''. After having been deleted, pages remain in the archive table, and a sysop can undelete the whole pages or parts of their revisions.  To challenge a decision to delete a page, see [[Wikiquote:Deletion review]].
* '''Block IP addresses'''. See [[Wikiquote:Blocking policy]] for guidelines and [[Special:Ipblocklist]] for currently blocked addresses. If your IP has been blocked, then you can see which administrator blocked you when you try to edit, and you can contact them individually if you think that there's been a mistake. Otherwise, to challenge a decision to block an IP address, use [[Wikiquote talk:administrators|this page's talk page]], or the [[m:mailing list|mailing list]] (wikiquote-en-admins{{@}}lists.wikimedia.org) if it's your IP that has been blocked. This is meant solely to discourage persistent junk edits. IP banning is not meant to be used against unpopular opinions. Because dynamic IPs and proxies are so common with major internet providers, if you've been banned for things someone else did, don't take it personally, just notify the list.
* '''Revert pages rapidly &amp; quietly'''. Though every user can revert a Wikiquote page, a quicker way is available for administrators. Once they click &lt;nowiki&gt;[rollback]&lt;/nowiki&gt; botton on a user contribution page or diff page, it is reverted with a message automatically generated. For recovering vandalism, administrators can revert pages in quiet, adding a bot flag to their reversions. Adding ''&amp;bot=1'' to the url of a user contribution page, and reversion from this page doesn't appear in Recent changes. Administrators should never use this quiet mode to hide reversion for their own personal purposes.

Users with ordinary access, including visitors who haven't &quot;signed in&quot;, can still do many things, including the most important: editing articles.
But only signed-up users can [[Help:Moving a page|rename pages]]; see [[Special:CreateAccount]] to sign up for yourself.

== Becoming an administrator ==
If you would like sysop access, add your name to [[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship]].

Current English Wikiquote policy is to grant administrator status to anyone who has been an active Wikiquote contributor for a while and is generally a known and trusted member of the community. Most users seem to agree that the more administrators there are the better.

It's recommended that you write for Wikiquote for a while before requesting administrator status, since other users will have to recognise you before they can agree on your promotion.

Also keep in mind that each [[Wikiquote:Other language Wikiquotes|other language Wikiquote]] has its own policies for administrators, which may differ somewhat.

''Be careful, please!'' If you are granted access, we ask that you exercise care in using these functions, especially the ability to delete pages and their history and when deleting images.

== Removing an administrator ==
=== Inactive administrators ===
{{shortcut|WQ:INACTIVEADMIN}}
Wikiquote administrators (including those holding bureaucrat, checkuser and oversighter privileges) are considered inactive if they have made no edits and no logged actions within the course of 1 year.

==== Process ====
# A notification is sent to the [[Wikiquote:Village pump|village pump]], listing the inactive administrator(s).
# [[Template:Inactive admin|A notice]] (linking to the inactivity policy) must be placed on the inactive administrator's talk page, explaining that their rights may be removed.
# If no response is received from the administrator as required by the notice after 1 week (whether through their talk page or at the village pump), [[m:Steward requests/Permissions|a steward will be asked to remove the rights]].

=== Votes of confidence ===
{{see also|Wikiquote:Village pump archive 25#Vote for confidence}}
{{shortcut|WQ:VOC}}
Restricted access depends on the continued support of the community. This may be tested by a [[wikt:vote of confidence|vote of confidence]], in which a simple majority (50%+1) must support the user's continued access for it to be retained. (What access a discussion concerns should be explicitly noted in the discussion's introduction.) Any user may propose a vote of confidence, but at least three established users must support the need for one before it can be called.

In the case of an unscheduled (called) proposal, the user may not use the restricted access for any non-trivial action at any time until the vote is closed. A [[Wikiquote:Bureaucrats|bureaucrat]] will eventually archive the discussion and, if so decided, request removal of restricted access by a steward.

== Involved administrators ==
In general, administrators should avoid using their tools in situations where they may not be impartial, which includes disputes in which they are involved parties. If an administrator is in doubt, they are encouraged to ask for opinions, or to ask another administrator to handle the situation.

== List of active administrators ==
Active administrators can be also contacted by using the &quot;email this user&quot; link on their user page, if you have signed in with an email address of your own. (&quot;Active&quot; means they have made at least one significant edit on this project in the past few months.) A system-generated official list of admins is available at [[Special:ListUsers/sysop|Special:ListAdmins]].

{{List of admins}}

== List of former administrators ==
The following users are former administrators.

# [[User:AmedDestan|AmedDestan]]
# [[User:Aphaia|Aphaia]]
# [[User:~riley|~riley]]
# [[User:Abramsky|Abramsky]]
# [[User:Cbrown1023|Cbrown1023]]
# [[User:Cirt|Cirt]]
# [[User:Essjay|Essjay]]
# [[User:EVula|EVula]]
# [[User:Ferien|Ferien]]
# [[User:FloNight|FloNight]]
# [[User:Fys|Fys]]
# [[User:Herbythyme|Herbythyme]]
# [[User:Iddo999|Iddo999]]
# [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]]
# [[User:Jaxl|Jaxl]]
# [[User:Jeffq|Jeffq]]
# [[User:Jni|jni]]
# [[User:LrdChaos|LrdChaos]]
# [[User:Mdd|Mdd]]
# [[User:Miszatomic|Miszatomic]]
# [[User:MosheZadka|MosheZadka]]
# [[User:Nanobug|Nanobug]]
# [[User:Pmlineditor|Pmlineditor]]
# [[User:Rmhermen|Rmhermen]]
# [[User:RyanCross|RyanCross]]
# [[User:Sketchmoose|Sketchmoose]]
# [[User:Quadell|Quadell]]
# [[User:Quillercouch|Quillercouch]]/[[User:Cato|Cato]]/[[User:Yehudi|Yehudi]]/[[User:Collingwood|Collingwood]]
# [[User:Ubiquity|Ubiquity]]

{{DEFAULTSORT:{{PAGENAME}}}}
[[Category:User permissions]]</text>
      <sha1>h1tar7036bp2x6h67qq21g1e3mrvdod</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Thomas &amp; Friends</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>1615</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943997</id>
      <parentid>3920076</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T17:31:34Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943997</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="4317" sha1="sjgdbiwlcg7atb0c3xmr58bjpybgrji" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons''': The Model Series Eras: The Old Series Eras: The Clearwater Features Era: {{small|[[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 1|1]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 2|2]]}} The Britt Allcroft Company Era: {{small|[[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 3|3]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 4|4]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 5|5]]}} The Gullane Entertainment Era: {{small|[[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 6|6]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 7|7]]}} The New Series Era: The Old HIT Entertainment Era: {{small|[[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 8|8]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 9|9]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 10|10]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 11|11]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 12|12]]}} The CGI Series Eras: The Old CGI Series Era: The New HIT Entertainment Era: {{small|[[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 13|13]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 14|14]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 15|15]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 16|16]]}} The New CGI Series Era: The Andrew Brenner Era: {{small|[[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 17|17]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 18|18]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 19|19]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 20|20]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 21|21]]}} The Big World! Big Adventures! Era: {{small|[[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 22|22]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 23|23]] 24}}
----
'''''Thomas the Tank Engine &amp; Friends''''' (1984–2021), otherwise referred to as '''''Thomas &amp; Friends''''', '''''Thomas the Tank Engine''''' or '''''Thomas''''' for short, is a British [[w:Children's television series|children's television series]] based on the series of the British children's books referred to as ''[[The Railway Series]]''.

==Movies==
* ''[[Thomas and the Magic Railroad]]'' (2000)
* ''[[Calling All Engines!]]'' (2005)
* ''[[The Great Discovery]]'' (2008)
* ''[[Hero of the Rails]]'' (2009)
* ''[[Thomas &amp; Friends: Misty Island Rescue|Misty Island Rescue]]'' (2010)
* ''[[Thomas &amp; Friends: Day of the Diesels|Day of the Diesels]]'' (2011)
* ''[[Blue Mountain Mystery]]'' (2012)
* ''[[Thomas &amp; Friends: King of the Railway|King of the Railway]] (2013)
* ''[[Tale of the Brave]]'' (2014)
* ''[[Thomas &amp; Friends: The Adventure Begins|The Adventure Begins]]'' (2015)
* ''[[Sodor's Legend of the Lost Treasure]]'' (2015)
* ''[[The Great Race (Thomas)|The Great Race]]'' (2016)
* ''[[Journey Beyond Sodor]]'' (2017)
* ''[[Big World! Big Adventures!]]'' (2018)

== Storytellers ==
*[[Ringo Starr]] (UK/US) (Seasons 1–2) (1984–1986)
*[[w:Michael Angelis|Michael Angelis]] (UK) (Seasons 3–16) (1991–2012)
*[[George Carlin]] (US) (Seasons 1–4) (1984–1995)
*[[Alec Baldwin]] (US) (Seasons 5–6) (1998–2002)
*[[w:Michael Brandon|Michael Brandon]] (US) (Seasons 7–16) (2003–2012)
*[[w:Pierce Brosnan|Pierce Brosnan]] (UK/US) (Season 12) (2008)
*[[w:Mark Moraghan|Mark Moraghan]] (UK/US) (Seasons 17–21) (2013–2017)
*[[w:John Hasler|John Hasler]] (UK) (Seasons 22–24) (2018–2021)
*[[w:Joseph May|Joseph May]] (US) (Seasons 22–24) (2018–2021)

== Character Voices ==
*[[Ringo Starr]] (UK/US) (Seasons 1–2) (1984–1986)
*[[w:Michael Angelis|Michael Angelis]] (UK) (Seasons 3–16) (1991–2012)
*[[George Carlin]] (US) (Seasons 1–4) (1984–1995)
*[[Alec Baldwin]] (US) (Seasons 5–6) (1998–2002)
*[[w:Michael Brandon|Michael Brandon]] (US) (Seasons 7–16) (2003–2012)
*[[w:Pierce Brosnan|Pierce Brosnan]] (UK/US) (Season 12) (2008)
*[[w:Mark Moraghan|Mark Moraghan]] (UK/US) (Seasons 17–21) (2013–2017)
*[[w:John Hasler|John Hasler]] (UK) (Seasons 22–24) (2018–2021)
*[[w:Joseph May|Joseph May]] (US) (Seasons 22–24) (2018–2021)

== See also ==
*''[[Tugs]]''
*''[[Shining Time Station]]''
*''[[Salty's Lighthouse]]''
*''[[Thomas &amp; Friends: All Engines Go]]''
*''[[Microsoft Train Simulator]]''
*''[[Rail Simulator]]''
*''[[Train Simulator Classic]]''
*''[[Train Sim World]]''
*''[[The Railway Series]]''

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Thomas &amp; Friends}}
*{{imdb title | id=0086815 | title=Thomas the Tank Engine &amp; Friends}}

{{Thomas &amp; Friends}}

[[Category:Animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:Animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:TV shows based on children's books]]
[[Category:PBS shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:UK TV shows]]
[[Category:Thomas &amp; Friends]]
[[Category:PBS Kids shows]]
[[Category:Freeform shows]]
[[Category:ITV shows]]
[[Category:Cartoon Network shows]]
[[Category:Nick Jr. shows]]</text>
      <sha1>sjgdbiwlcg7atb0c3xmr58bjpybgrji</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943998</id>
      <parentid>3943997</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T17:32:22Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943998</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="4356" sha1="05r9b4csqu3hc3ba07somb5f7fypd8h" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons''': The Model Series Eras: The Old Series Eras: The Clearwater Features Era: {{small|[[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 1|1]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 2|2]]}} The Britt Allcroft Company Era: {{small|[[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 3|3]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 4|4]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 5|5]]}} The Gullane Entertainment Era: {{small|[[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 6|6]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 7|7]]}} The New Series Era: The Old HIT Entertainment Era: {{small|[[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 8|8]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 9|9]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 10|10]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 11|11]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 12|12]]}} The CGI Series Eras: The Old CGI Series Era: The New HIT Entertainment Era: {{small|[[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 13|13]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 14|14]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 15|15]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 16|16]]}} The New CGI Series Era: The Andrew Brenner Era: {{small|[[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 17|17]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 18|18]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 19|19]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 20|20]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 21|21]]}} The Big World! Big Adventures! Era: {{small|[[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 22|22]] [[Thomas &amp; Friends/Season 23|23]] 24}}
----
'''''Thomas the Tank Engine &amp; Friends''''' (1984–1986, 1991-1992, 1994-1995, 1998, 2002-2021), otherwise referred to as '''''Thomas &amp; Friends''''', '''''Thomas the Tank Engine''''' or '''''Thomas''''' for short, is a British [[w:Children's television series|children's television series]] based on the series of the British children's books referred to as ''[[The Railway Series]]''.

==Movies==
* ''[[Thomas and the Magic Railroad]]'' (2000)
* ''[[Calling All Engines!]]'' (2005)
* ''[[The Great Discovery]]'' (2008)
* ''[[Hero of the Rails]]'' (2009)
* ''[[Thomas &amp; Friends: Misty Island Rescue|Misty Island Rescue]]'' (2010)
* ''[[Thomas &amp; Friends: Day of the Diesels|Day of the Diesels]]'' (2011)
* ''[[Blue Mountain Mystery]]'' (2012)
* ''[[Thomas &amp; Friends: King of the Railway|King of the Railway]] (2013)
* ''[[Tale of the Brave]]'' (2014)
* ''[[Thomas &amp; Friends: The Adventure Begins|The Adventure Begins]]'' (2015)
* ''[[Sodor's Legend of the Lost Treasure]]'' (2015)
* ''[[The Great Race (Thomas)|The Great Race]]'' (2016)
* ''[[Journey Beyond Sodor]]'' (2017)
* ''[[Big World! Big Adventures!]]'' (2018)

== Storytellers ==
*[[Ringo Starr]] (UK/US) (Seasons 1–2) (1984–1986)
*[[w:Michael Angelis|Michael Angelis]] (UK) (Seasons 3–16) (1991–2012)
*[[George Carlin]] (US) (Seasons 1–4) (1984–1995)
*[[Alec Baldwin]] (US) (Seasons 5–6) (1998–2002)
*[[w:Michael Brandon|Michael Brandon]] (US) (Seasons 7–16) (2003–2012)
*[[w:Pierce Brosnan|Pierce Brosnan]] (UK/US) (Season 12) (2008)
*[[w:Mark Moraghan|Mark Moraghan]] (UK/US) (Seasons 17–21) (2013–2017)
*[[w:John Hasler|John Hasler]] (UK) (Seasons 22–24) (2018–2021)
*[[w:Joseph May|Joseph May]] (US) (Seasons 22–24) (2018–2021)

== Character Voices ==
*[[Ringo Starr]] (UK/US) (Seasons 1–2) (1984–1986)
*[[w:Michael Angelis|Michael Angelis]] (UK) (Seasons 3–16) (1991–2012)
*[[George Carlin]] (US) (Seasons 1–4) (1984–1995)
*[[Alec Baldwin]] (US) (Seasons 5–6) (1998–2002)
*[[w:Michael Brandon|Michael Brandon]] (US) (Seasons 7–16) (2003–2012)
*[[w:Pierce Brosnan|Pierce Brosnan]] (UK/US) (Season 12) (2008)
*[[w:Mark Moraghan|Mark Moraghan]] (UK/US) (Seasons 17–21) (2013–2017)
*[[w:John Hasler|John Hasler]] (UK) (Seasons 22–24) (2018–2021)
*[[w:Joseph May|Joseph May]] (US) (Seasons 22–24) (2018–2021)

== See also ==
*''[[Tugs]]''
*''[[Shining Time Station]]''
*''[[Salty's Lighthouse]]''
*''[[Thomas &amp; Friends: All Engines Go]]''
*''[[Microsoft Train Simulator]]''
*''[[Rail Simulator]]''
*''[[Train Simulator Classic]]''
*''[[Train Sim World]]''
*''[[The Railway Series]]''

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Thomas &amp; Friends}}
*{{imdb title | id=0086815 | title=Thomas the Tank Engine &amp; Friends}}

{{Thomas &amp; Friends}}

[[Category:Animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:Animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:TV shows based on children's books]]
[[Category:PBS shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:UK TV shows]]
[[Category:Thomas &amp; Friends]]
[[Category:PBS Kids shows]]
[[Category:Freeform shows]]
[[Category:ITV shows]]
[[Category:Cartoon Network shows]]
[[Category:Nick Jr. shows]]</text>
      <sha1>05r9b4csqu3hc3ba07somb5f7fypd8h</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Louis Pasteur</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>1817</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944035</id>
      <parentid>3544999</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T21:06:51Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>GrimRob</username>
        <id>1187925</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* External links */  ws link</comment>
      <origin>3944035</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="39817" sha1="66jwtk79px6n6m9j4hsqj0etpkl6a1i" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Louis Pasteur.jpg|thumb|In the fields of [[observation]] [[chance]] favors only the prepared [[mind]].]]
'''[[w:Louis Pasteur|Louis Pasteur]]''' ([[27 December]] [[1822]] – [[28 September]] [[1895]]) French microbiologist, [[chemist]], pioneer of the &quot;[[w:Germ theory of disease|Germ theory of disease]]&quot;, discoverer of molecular asymmetry and stereo-chemistry, and inventor of the process of [[w:Pasteurization|Pasteurization]].

== Quotes==
[[File:Louis Pasteur by Pierre Lamy Petit.jpg|thumb|I am on the edge of [[Mystery|mysteries]] and the veil is getting thinner and thinner.]]
&lt;!-- [[File:Caducee fr.svg|thumb|There are [[Science|sciences]] and the applications of science, bound together as the fruit of the tree which bears it.]] --&gt;
[[File:Louis Pasteur from Galerie Contemporaine.jpg |thumb| The [[universe]] is asymmetric and I am persuaded that [[life]], as it is known to us, is a direct result of the asymmetry of the universe or of its indirect [[consequences]]. The universe is asymmetric.]]
[[File:Flag of WHO.svg|thumb| [[Science]] knows no [[country]], because [[knowledge]] belongs to [[humanity]], and is the torch which illuminates the [[world]].]]
[[File:Hygea, copia romana da originale greco del III sec. ac.JPG |thumb|One does not ask of one who [[suffers]]: What is your [[country]] and what is your [[religion]]? One merely says: You suffer, that is enough for me...]]
[[File:Louis Pasteur, foto av Paul Nadar, Crisco edit.jpg|thumb|Let me tell you the [[secret]] that has led me to my goal. My [[strength]] lies solely in my [[tenacity]].]]

* '''I am on the edge of [[Mystery|mysteries]] and the veil is getting thinner and thinner.'''
** Letter (December 1851); as quoted in ''The Great Influenza: The Epic Story of the Deadliest Plague In History'' (2004) by John M. Barry
** Variant translations:
** '''I am on the verge of mysteries and the veil is getting thinner and thinner.''' The nights seem to me too long... I am often scolded by Madame Pasteur, but I tell her I shall lead her to fame.
*** ''Microbe Hunters'' (1926) by Paul De Kruif
** My plan of study is traced for this coming year... I am hoping to develop it shortly in the most successful manner... I think that I have already told you that I am on the verge of mysteries, and that the veil which covers them is getting thinner and thinner. The nights seem to me too long, yet I do not complain... I am often scolded by Mme. Pasteur, but I console her by telling her that I shall lead her to fame.
*** ''The Life of Pasteur'' (1916) by René Vallery-Radot

* ''Dans les champs de l'observation le hasard ne favorise que les esprits préparés.''
** '''In the fields of [[observation]] chance favours only the prepared [[mind]].'''
*** Lecture, University of Lille (7 December 1854)
** Variant translations of this or similar statements include:
** '''Chance favors the prepared mind.'''
** '''Fortune favors the prepared mind.'''
** '''In the field of observation, chance favors the prepared mind.'''
** '''Where observation is concerned, chance favors only the prepared mind.'''

* '''There does not exist a category of [[science]] to which one can give the name applied science. There are sciences and the applications of science, bound together as the fruit of the tree which bears it.'''
** ''Revue Scientifique'' (1871)
*** Variant translation: There are no such things as applied sciences, only applications of science.

* ''L' univers est dissymetrique...''
** The [[universe]] is asymmetric and I am persuaded that life, as it is known to us, is a direct result of the asymmetry of the universe or of its indirect consequences. '''The universe is asymmetric.'''
** ''Works'' Vol. 1 (1 June 1874) Comptes Rendus de l'Académie des Sciences

* I beseech you to take interest in these sacred domains so expressively called laboratories. Ask that there be more and that they be adorned for these are the temples of the future, wealth and well-being. It is here that [[humanity]] will grow, strengthen and improve. Here, humanity will learn to read progress and individual harmony in the works of nature, while humanity's own works are all too often those of barbarism, fanaticism and destruction.
** Statement of 1878, as quoted in ''Crystals and Life : A Personal Journey'' (2002) by Celerino Abad Zapatero, p. 139

* '''Posterity will one day laugh at the foolishness of modern materialistic philosophers.''' The more I study nature, the more I stand amazed at the work of the Creator. I pray while I am engaged at my work in the laboratory.
** As quoted in ''The Literary Digest'' (18 October 1902)

* Young men, have confidence in those powerful and safe methods, of which we do not yet know all the secrets. And, '''whatever your career may be, do not let yourselves become tainted by a deprecating and barren scepticism,''' do not let yourselves be discouraged by the sadness of certain hours which pass over nations. Live in the serene peace of laboratories and libraries. Say to yourselves first : &quot;What have I done for my instruction?&quot; and , as you gradually advance, &quot;What have I done for my country?&quot; until the time comes when you may have the immense happiness of thinking that you have contributed in some way to the progress and to the good of humanity. But, whether our efforts are or not favoured by life, let us be able to say, when we come near the great goal, &quot;'''I have done what I could.'''&quot; 
** [http://archive.org/stream/lifeofpasteurtra02valluoft/lifeofpasteurtra02valluoft_djvu.txt ''The Life of Pasteur'' (1911), Volume II, p. 228]
** Variant translation:
** Do not let yourself be tainted with a barren skepticism.
** As quoted in ''The Louisville &amp; Nashville Employes' Magazine'' Vol. 21 (1944)‎, p. 28

* '''Science knows no country, because knowledge belongs to humanity, and is the torch which illuminates the world.''' Science is the highest personification of the nation because that nation will remain the first which carries the furthest the works of thought and intelligence.
** As quoted in ''Louis Pasteur, Free Lance of Science'' (1960) by René Jules Dubos, Ch. 3 : Pasteur in Action

*{{Anchor|suffers}} '''One does not ask of one who suffers: What is your country and what is your religion? One merely says: You suffer, that is enough for me...'''
** As quoted in ''Louis Pasteur, Free Lance of Science'' (1960) by René Jules Dubos, Ch. 3 : Pasteur in Action

* '''Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity.'''
** As quoted in ''There's a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem'' (2001) by [[w:Wayne Dyer|Wayne W. Dyer]]

* '''A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.'''
** ''The Mammoth Book of Zingers, Quips, and One-Liners'' (2004) by Geoff Tibballs

* ''Le premier regard de l'homme jeté sur l'univers n'y découvre que variété, diversité, multiplicité des phénomènes. Que ce regard soit illuminé par la science, — par '''la science''' qui '''rapproche l'homme de Dieu,''' — et la simplicité et l'unité brillent de toutes parts.''
** '''Science brings men nearer to God.'''
** As quoted in ''Letter to an Atheist'' (2007) by Michael Patrick Leahy, p. 61

* ''La génération spontanée, je la cherche sans la découvrir depuis vingt ans. Non, je ne la juge pas impossible. Mais quoi donc vous autorise à vouloir qu'elle ait été l'origine de la vie? Vous placez la matière avant la vie et vous faites la matière existante de toute éternité. Qui vous dit que, le progrès incessant de la science n'obligera pas les savants, qui vivront dans un siècle, dans mille ans, dans dix mille ans... à affirmer que la vie a été de toute éternité et non la matière.? Vous passez de la matière à la vie parce que votre intelligence actuelle, si bornée par rapport à ce que sera l'intelligence des naturalistes futurs, vous dit qu'elle ne peut comprendre autrement les choses. Qui m'assure que dans dix mille ans on ne considérera pas que c'est de la vie qu'on croira impossible de ne pas passer à la matière? Si vous voulez être au nombre des esprits scientifiques, s, qui seuls comptent, il faut vous débarrasser des idées et des raisonnements a priori et vous en tenir aux déductions nécessaires des faits établis et ne pas accorder plus de confiance qu'il ne faut aux déductions de pures hypothèses.&quot;''
** As quoted in ''Pasteur et la philosophie'' (2004), by Patrice Pinet, p. 63&lt;!-- Editions L'Harmattan --&gt; 
** '''I have been looking for spontaneous generation for twenty years without discovering it. No, I do not judge it impossible. But what allows you to make it the origin of life?''' You place matter before life and you decide that matter has existed for all eternity. '''How do you know that the incessant progress of science will not compel scientists to consider that [[life]] has existed during [[eternity]], and not matter?''' You pass from matter to life because your intelligence of today cannot conceive things otherwise. How do you know that in ten thousand years, one will not consider it more likely that matter has emerged from life? You move from matter to life because your current intelligence, so limited compared to what will be the future intelligence of the naturalist, tells you that things cannot be understood otherwise. If you want to be among the scientific minds, what only counts is that you will have to get rid of ''a priori'' reasoning and ideas, and you will have to do necessary deductions not giving more confidence than we should to deductions from wild speculation.
*** Partially quoted in ''Louis Pasteur : Free Lance of Science'' (1950) by René Dubos, p 396&lt;!-- Da Capo Press, Inc. --&gt; 

=== ''Soirées scientifiques de la Sorbonne'' (1864)===
:&lt;small&gt;Address delivered by Pasteur at the &quot;Sorbonne Scientific Soirée&quot; [''Soirées scientifiques de la Sorbonne''] (7 April 1864), in which he reported the results of his experiments regarding &quot;[[w:spontaneous generation]]&quot;. The original excerpt in French is found in [https://archive.org/stream/oeuvresdepasteu02past#page/328/mode/2up ''Oeuvres de Pasteur'' Volume 2, (1922), Vallery-Radot, Pasteur. Paris: Masson, pp. 328-346], and is [http://networkedblogs.com/ITxLP available at ''Gloubik Sciences''.org]&lt;/small&gt;

*'''Great problems are now being handled, keeping every thinking man in suspense; the unity or multiplicity of human races; the creation of man 1,000 years or 1,000 centuries ago; the fixity of species, or the slow and progressive transformation of one species into another; the eternity of matter; the idea of a God unnecessary: such are some of the questions that humanity discusses nowadays.'''
** Translation from [https://archive.org/stream/cu31924012227595#page/n153/mode/2up ''The Life of Pasteur'', p. 140]

* ''Comprenez-vous maintenant le lien qui existe entre la question des générations spontanées et ces grands problèmes que j'ai énumérés en commençant? Mais, messieurs, dans un pareil sujet, assez de poésie comme cela, assez de fantaisie et de solutions instinctives; il est temps que la science, la vraie méthode reprenne ses droits et les exerce. Il n'y a ici ni religion, ni philosophie, ni athéisme, ni matérialisme, ni spiritualisme qui tienne. Je pourrais même ajouter : Comme savant, peu m'importe. C'est une question de fait; je l'ai abordée sans idée préconçue, aussi prêt à déclarer, si l'expérience m'en avait imposé l'aveu, qu'il existe des générations spontanées, que je suis persuadé aujourd'hui que ceux qui les affirment ont un bandeau sur les veux.''&lt;!-- ** Also quoted in ''Histoire du développement de la biologie,'' Volume 3, by Hendrik Cornelius Dirk de Wit (1994), PPUR presses polytechniques, p. 393 --&gt;
** '''Do you understand now the relationship between the question of [[w:spontaneous generation|spontaneous generation]] and the major problems that I listed in the beginning?''' But, gentlemen, '''in such a subject, rather than as poetry, pretty fancy and instinctive solutions, it is time for science, the true method resumes its duties and exercise. Here, it takes no [[religion]], no [[philosophy]], no [[atheism]], no [[w:materialism|materialism]], no [[w:spiritualism|spiritualism]].''' I might even add: as a scholar, I do not mind. '''It is a matter of fact; I approached without a preconceived idea, too ready to declare, if the experiment had imposed upon me the confession, that there was a spontaneous generation, of which I am convinced today that those who assure it are blindfolded.'''

* ''Et par conséquent, messieurs pourrais-je dire, en vous montrant ce liquide : J’ai pris dans l’immensité de la création ma goutte d’eau, et je l’ai prise toute pleine de la gelée féconde, c’est-à-dire, pour parler le langage de la science, toute pleine des éléments appropriés au développement des êtres inférieurs, Et j’attends, et j’observe, et je l’interroge, et je lui demande de vouloir bien recommencer pour moi la primitive création ; ce serait un si beau spectacle ! Mais elle est muette ! Elle est muette depuis plusieurs années que ces expériences sont commencées. Ah ! c’est que j’ai éloigné d’elle, et que j’éloigne encore en ce moment, la seule chose qu’il n’ait pas été donné à l’homme de produire, j’ai éloigné d’elle les germes qui flottent dans l’ait&quot; j’ai éloigné d’elle la vie, car la vie c’est le germe et le germe c’est la vie. Jamais la doctrine de la génération spontanée ne se relèvera du coup mortel que Cette simple expérience lui porte.''
** Here is an infusion of organic matter, as limpid as distilled water, and extremely alterable. It has been prepared to-day. To-morrow it will contain animalculae, little infusories, or flakes of mouldiness. I place a portion of that infusion into a flask with a long neck, like this one. Suppose I boil the liquid and leave it to cool. After a few days, mouldiness or animalculae will develop in the liquid. By boiling, I destroyed any germs contained in the liquid or against the glass ; but that infusion being again in contact with air, it becomes altered, as all infusions do. Now suppose I repeat this experiment, but that, before boiling the liquid, I draw (by means of an enameller's lamp) the neck of the flask into a point, leaving however, its extremity open. This being done, I boil the liquid in the flask, and leave it to cool. Now the liquid of this second flask will remain pure not only two days, a month, a year, but three or four years — for the experiment I am telling you about is already four years old, and the liquid remains as limpid as distilled water. What difference is there, then, between those two vases ? They contain the same liquid, they both contain air, both are open ! Why does one decay and the other remain pure ? The only difference between them is this : in the first case, the dusts suspended in air and their germs can fall into the neck of the flask and arrive into contact with the liquid, where they find appropriate food and develop; thence microscopic beings. In the second flask, on the contrary, it is impossible, or at least extremely difficult, unless air is violently shaken, that dusts suspended in air should enter the vase; they fall on its curved neck. When air goes in and out of the vase through diffusions or variations of temperature, the latter never being sudden, the air comes in slowly enough to drop the dusts and germs that it carries at the opening of the neck or in the first curves. This experiment is full of instruction ; for this must be noted, that everything in air save its dusts can easily enter the vase and come into contact with the liquid. Imagine what you choose in the air — electricity, magnetism, ozone, unknown forces even, all can reach the infusion. Only one thing cannot enter easily, and that is dust, suspended in air. And the proof of this is that if I shake the vase violently two or three times, in a few days it contains animalculae or mouldiness. Why? because air has come in violently enough to carry dust with it. And, therefore, gentlemen, '''I could point to that liquid and say to you, I have taken my drop of water from the immensity of creation, and I have taken it full of the elements appropriated to the development of inferior beings. And I wait, I watch, I question it, begging it to recommence for me the beautiful spectacle of the first creation. But it is dumb, dumb since these experiments were begun several years ago; it is dumb because I have kept it from the only thing man cannot produce, from the germs which float in the air, from Life, for Life is a germ and a germ is Life. Never will the doctrine of spontaneous generation recover from the mortal blow of this simple experiment.'''
** Translation from [https://archive.org/stream/cu31924012227595#page/n153/mode/2up ''The Life of Pasteur'', pp. 141-142]

* '''No, there is now no circumstance known in which it can be affirmed that microscopic beings came into the world without germs, without parents similar to themselves. Those who affirm it have been duped by illusions, by ill-conducted experiments, spoilt by errors that they either did not perceive or did not know how to avoid.'''
** Translation from [https://archive.org/stream/cu31924012227595#page/n155/mode/2up ''The Life of Pasteur'' p. 142]

* ''Maintenant, messieurs, il y aurait un beau sujet à traiter : c’est celui du rôle, dans l’économie générale de la création, de quelques-uns de ces petits êtres qui sont les agents de la fermentation, les agents de la putréfaction, de la désorganisation de tout ce qui a eu vie il la surface du globe. Ce rôle est immense, merveilleux, vraiment émouvant. Un jour peut-être me sera-t-il donné de vous exposer ici quelques-uns de ces résultats. Dieu veuille que ce soit encore en présence à une aussi brillante assemblée!''
** Now, gentlemen, there will be a beautiful story: what is the role, in the overall scheme of creation, of some of these little beings who are the agents of fermentation, the agents of putrefaction, of disorganization of everything that life has had in the surface of the globe. This role is immense, marvelous, really moving. Maybe one day maybe I will be given [the opportunity] to explain here some of these results. May God grant it to be still in the presence of such a brilliant assembly!

=== ''Discours de réception de Louis Pasteur'' (1882) ===
[[File:Nebulabrot (5000, 500, 50).png|thumb|He who proclaims the [[existence]] of the [[Infinite]], and none can avoid it — accumulates in that affirmation more of the [[supernatural]] than is to be found in all the [[miracles]] of all the [[religions]]; for the notion of the Infinite presents that double character that forces itself upon us and yet is incomprehensible.]]
[[File:Mor Gabriel Monastery 1330106 Nevit Droste effect.jpg |thumb|As long as the [[mystery]] of the [[infinite]] weighs on [[human]] [[thought]], temples will be erected for the [[worship]] of the Infinite, whether [[God]] is called [[Brahman|Brahma]], [[Allah]], [[Jehovah]], or [[Jesus]]; and on the pavement of these temples, men will be seen kneeling, prostrated, annihilated by the thought of the Infinite.]]
[[File:Brocken-tanzawa.JPG|thumb|The [[Greeks]] [[understood]] the [[mysterious]] [[power]] of the [[hidden]] side of [[things]]. They bequeathed to us one of the most [[beautiful]] [[words]] in our [[language]] — the word &quot;[[enthusiasm]]&quot; — ''en theos'' [Εν Θεος] — a [[god]] within. The [[grandeur]] of [[human]] [[actions]] is [[measured]] by the [[inspiration]] from which they spring.]]
[[File:Albert Edelfelt - Louis Pasteur - 1885.jpg|thumb|[[Blessed]] is he who carries within himself a [[God]], an [[ideal]], and who [[obeys]] it: ideal of [[art]], ideal of [[science]], ideal of the gospel [[virtues]], therein lie the springs of [[great]] [[thoughts]] and great [[actions]]; they [[all]] reflect [[light]] from the Infinite.]]
:&lt;small&gt;Lecture delivered after the death of Émile Littré, when Pasteur as a result was elected a member of the ''French Academy''. · ''[http://www.academie-francaise.fr/discours-de-reception-de-louis-pasteur Discours de réception de Louis Pasteur]'' (27 April 1882) &lt;/small&gt;

* To prove that, until this very day, life has never been shown to man as a product of the [[forces]] that govern [[matter]], it could be useful the [[spirit]]ual doctrine which has been very neglected elsewhere, but always finds at least a glorious refuge in your groups. Perhaps you know that in this difficult question concerning the origin of the infinitesimal, I will have brought experimental rigor that has grown weary of contradiction. Referring to the merit, however, we have inherited severe rules of the method from the great experimenters: [[Galileo]], [[Pascal]], [[Newton]] and their followers for two centuries.

* '''The [[human]] spirit, driven by an invincible force, will never cease to ask: What is beyond?''' Does he want to stop either in [[time]] or in [[space]]? Since the point at which he has reigned is only a finite magnitude, greater only than all those who have preceded him, he has scarcely begun to think of it as the implacable question and always without being able to silence his curiosity. There is nothing to answer: there are spaces, times or magnitudes without limits. No one understands these words. &lt;!-- He who proclaims the existence of the infinite, and no one can escape from it accumulates in this affirmation more supernatural than there is in all the miracles of all religions; for the notion of the infinite has the double character of imposing itself and of being incomprehensible. --&gt; 

* '''He who proclaims the [[existence]] of the [[Infinite]], and none can avoid it — accumulates in that affirmation more of the [[supernatural]] than is to be found in all the [[miracles]] of all the [[religions]]; for the notion of the Infinite presents that double character that forces itself upon us and yet is incomprehensible.''' When this notion seizes upon our [[understanding]] we can but kneel ... I see everywhere the inevitable expression of the Infinite in the [[world]]; through it the supernatural is at the bottom of every [[heart]]. '''The [[idea]] of [[God]] is a form of the idea of the Infinite. As long as the [[mystery]] of the infinite weighs on human [[thought]], temples will be erected for the [[worship]] of the Infinite, whether God is called [[Brahman|Brahma]], [[Allah]], [[Jehovah]], or [[Jesus]]; and on the pavement of these temples, men will be seen kneeling, prostrated, annihilated by the thought of the Infinite.'''
** As quoted by Sir [[w:William Osler|William Osler]] in his introduction to ''The Life of Pasteur'' (1907) by Rene Vallery-Radot, as translated by R .L. Devonshire (1923)
** Variant translation:
** Everywhere in the world I see the expression and idea of the infinite. Owing to it, belief in the supernatural is found in the bottom of every heart. The idea of God is a form of the idea of the infinite.
*** As quoted in  &quot;Louis Pasteur&quot; by Louis Gershenfeld, in ''The American Journal of Pharmacy'', Vol. 94 (1922), edited by Ivor Griffith, p. 780

* ''Où sont les vraies sources de la dignité humaine, de la liberté et de la démocratie moderne, sinon dans la notion de l’infini devant laquelle tous les hommes sont égaux?''
** Where are the real sources of human [[dignity]], [[freedom]] and modern [[democracy]], if not in the concept of infinity to which [[w:All men are created equal|all men are equal?]]''

* ''Les Grecs avaient compris la mystérieuse puissance de ce dessous de choses. Ce sont eux qui nous ont légué un des plus beaux mots de notre langue, le mot enthousiasme. — Εν Θεος. — Un Dieu intérieur.
** The [[Greeks]] [[understood]] the [[mysterious]] [[power]] of the [[hidden]] side of [[things]]. They bequeathed to us one of the most [[beautiful]] [[words]] in our [[language]] — the word &quot;[[enthusiasm]]&quot; — ''en theos'' [Εν Θεος] — a [[god]] within. The [[grandeur]] of [[human]] [[actions]] is [[measured]] by the [[inspiration]] from which they spring. [[Happy]] is he who bears [[Deity|a god]] within and [[obeys]] it.
*** As quoted in ''The Ghost in the Machine'' (1967) by [[Arthur Koestler]], p. 220
** Variant translations:
** The Greeks have given us one of the most beautiful words of our language, the word &quot;enthusiasm&quot; Εν Θεος .— a God within. The grandeur of the acts of men are measured by the inspiration from which they spring. Happy is he who bears a God within.
** As quoted in ''Spiritual Literacy : Reading the Sacred in Everyday Life'' (1998) by Frederic Brussat and Mary Ann Brussat
** The Greeks understood the mysterious power of the underside of things. They are the ones who gave us one of the most beautiful words in our language, the word enthusiasm. — Εν Θεος — A God within.
** The Greeks had understood the mysterious power of the underside of things. It is they who have left us one of the most beautiful words of our language, the word enthusiasm. — Εν Θεος. — An inner God.

*''La grandeur des actions humaines se mesure à l’inspiration qui les fait naître. Heureux celui qui porte en soi un Dieu, un idéal de la beauté et qui lui obéit : idéal de l’art, idéal de la science, idéal de la patrie, idéal des vertus de l’Évangile! Ce sont là les sources vives des grandes pensées et des grandes actions. Toutes s’éclairent des reflets de l’infini.''
** '''The greatness of human actions is measured by the inspiration that it brings. Blessed is he who carries within himself a God, an ideal of beauty and obeys it: an ideal of art, ideal of science, ideal of country, ideal virtues of the [[Gospel]]! These are the wellsprings of great thoughts and great actions. All reflections illuminate infinity.'''
** Variant translations: 
** '''Blessed is he who carries within himself a God, an ideal, and who obeys it: ideal of art, ideal of science, ideal of the gospel virtues, therein lie the springs of great thoughts and great actions; they all reflect light from the Infinite.'''
*** As quoted by Sir [[w:William Osler|William Osler]] in his introduction to ''The Life of Pasteur'' (1907) by Rene Vallery-Radot, as translated by R .L. Devonshire (1923)
** Blessed is he who carries within himself a god and an ideal and who obeys it — an ideal of art, of science, or gospel virtues. Therein lie the springs of great thoughts and great actions; they all reflect light from the Infinite.
*** As quoted in ''The Wordsworth Dictionary of Quotations'' (1998) by Connie Robertson, p. 320
** It is they [the Greeks] who have bequeathed to us one of the most beautiful words in our language, the word enthusiasm — an inner God. The greatness of human actions is measured by the motives which inspire them. Happy are those who carry within them a God, an ideal of beauty which they obey, the ideal of art, the ideal of science, the ideal of country, the gospel idea of virtue. Those are the living sources of great thoughts and great actions. All are lit by reflections of the infinite.
*** The above 2 quotations, without separation, as quoted in  &quot;Louis Pasteur&quot; by Louis Gershenfeld, in ''The American Journal of Pharmacy'', Vol. 94 (1922), edited by Ivor Griffith, p. 780

=== ''The Life of Pasteur'' (1902) ===
[[File:Louis Pasteur (1822 - 1895), microbiologist and chemist Wellcome V0026985.jpg|thumb|[[Science]] and [[Peace]] will triumph over [[Ignorance]] and [[War]], that [[nations]] will [[unite]], not to [[destroy]], but to build, and … the [[future]] will belong to those who will have done most for suffering [[humanity]].]]
:&lt;small&gt; Quotes of Pasteur from [https://archive.org/stream/cu31924012227595#page/n9/mode/2up ''The Life of Pasteur'' (1902)], published by René Vallery-Radot, translated from the French by ''Mrs. R. L. Devonshire.''&lt;/small&gt;

* If perchance you should falter during the journey, a hand would be there to support you. If that should be wanting, God, who alone could take that hand from you, would Himself accomplish its work.
** p. 19

* Though one discovery always surpasses another, and though the chemical and physical knowledge accumulated since his time has gone beyond all [[Antoine Lavoisier|Lavoisier]]'s dreams, his work, like that of [[Newton]] and a few other rare spirits, will remain ever young. Certain details will age, as do the fashions of another time, but the foundation, the method, constitute one of those great aspects of the human mind, the majesty of which is only increased by years.

* God grant that by my persevering labours I may bring a little stone to the frail and ill-assured edifice of our knowledge of those deep mysteries of Life and Death where all our intellects have so lamentably failed.
** p. 114

* I confess frankly, however, that I am not competent on the question of our philosophical schools. Of M. [[August Comte|Comte]] I have only read a few absurd passages; of [[w:Émile Littré|M. Littré]] I only know the beautiful pages you were inspired to write by his rare knowledge and some of his domestic virtues. '''My philosophy is of the heart and not of the mind,''' and I give myself up, for instance, to those feelings about eternity which come naturally at the bedside of a cherished child drawing its last breath. '''At those supreme moments, there is something in the depths of our souls which tells us that the world may be more than a mere combination of phenomena proper to a mechanical equilibrium brought out of the chaos of the elements simply through the gradual action of the forces of matter.'''
** p. 163

* You say that, in the present state of science, it is wiser to have no opinion: well, I have an opinion, not a sentimental one, but a rational one, having acquired a right to it by twenty years of assiduous labour, and it would be wise in every impartial mind to share it. '''My opinion — nay more, my conviction — is that, in the present state of science, as you rightly say, spontaneous generation is a chimera ; and it would be impossible for you to contradict me, for my experiments all stand forth to prove that spontaneous generation is a chimera.''' What is then your judgment on my experiments? Have I not a hundred times placed organic matter in contact with pure air in the best conditions for it to produce life spontaneously? Have I not practised on these organic materia which are most favourable, according to all accounts, to the genesis of spontaneity, such as blood, urine, and grape juice? '''How is it that you do not see the essential difference between my opponents and myself? Not only have I contradicted, proof in hand, every one of their assertions, while they have never dared to seriously contradict one of mine, but, for them, every cause of error benefits their opinion.''' For me, affirming as I do that there are no spontaneous fermentations, I am bound to eliminate every cause of error, every perturbing influence, I can maintain my results only by means of most irreproachable experiments; their opinions, on the contrary, profit by every insufficient experiment and that is where they find their support. 
** p. 242; The first statement in bold in the above paragraph, as quoted from in ''Œuvres de Pasteur'', Volume 7 (1939), Masson et cie, p. 539 reads:
:::  ''Mon opinion, mieux encore, ma conviction, c'est que, dans l'état actuel de la science, comme vous dites avec raison, la génération spontanée est une chimère, et il vous serait impossible de me contredire, car mes expériences sont toutes debout, et toutes prouvent que la génération spontanée est une chimère''

* You bring me the deepest [[joy]] that can be felt by a man whose invincible [[belief]] is that '''[[Science]] and [[Peace]] will triumph over [[Ignorance]] and [[War]], that [[nations]] will [[unite]], not to [[destroy]], but to build, and that the [[future]] will belong to those who will have done most for suffering [[humanity]].'''
** Remarks at a celebration honoring his seventieth birthday, the Sorbonne, Paris, France (27 December 1892); Vol. 2, p. 297
** Variant:
** I am utterly convinced that Science and Peace will triumph over Ignorance and War, that nations will eventually unite not to destroy but to edify, and that the future will belong to those who have done the most for the sake of suffering humanity.
** As quoted in ''Louis Pasteur, Free Lance of Science'' (1960) by René Jules Dubos, Ch. 3 : Pasteur in Action

{{disputed begin}}

== Disputed ==
* '''The more I know, the more nearly is my faith that of the Breton peasant. Could I but know all I would have the faith of a Breton peasant woman.'''
** As quoted in [[s:Catholic Encyclopedia (1913)/Louis Pasteur|&quot;Louis Pasteur&quot; in ''The Catholic Encyclopedia'' (1913)]]
** Variant: I have the faith of a Breton peasant and by the time I die I hope to have the faith of a Breton peasant's wife.
*** As quoted in ''Letter to an Atheist'' (2007) by Michael Patrick Leahy, p. 61
** His descendents, [[w:Louis-Pasteur Vallery-Radot|Louis-Pasteur Vallery-Radot]], and Maurice Vallery-Radot disputed the authenticity of such statements. According to Maurice Vallery-Radot, ''Pasteur'' (1994), p. 378, the attributed assertion first appeared in the ''Semaine religieuse .... du diocèse de Versailles'' (6 October 1895), p. 153, shortly after the death of Pasteur.

* '''When I approach a child, he inspires in me two sentiments; tenderness for what he is, and respect for what he may become.'''
** The phrase in French is found in Étienne Blanchard (1941), ''&quot;Recueil d'idées&quot;,'' p. 76: ''&quot;Quand je m'approche d'un enfant, il m'inspire deux sentiments: la tendresse pour ce qu'il est, et le respect pour ce qu'il peut être un jour''.&quot; It doesn't give any reference, just like modern books which include the quote in English.

* '''Religion has no more place in science than science has in religion.'''
** Answer from Pasteur to his disciple Elie Metchnikoff when was questioned whether his approach to spontaneous generation was bound to a religious ideal. According to Patrice Debré's [https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=RzOcl-FLw30C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA176#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false, ''Luis Pasteur'', 2000], p. 176.

{{disputed end}}
{{Misattributed begin}}

== Misattributed ==
* It is surmounting difficulties that makes heroes.
** [[w:Lajos Kossuth|Lajos Kossuth]] (also known as Louis Kossoth), as quoted in ''Human Development in Action'' (1942) by University of California; also in ''The Forbes Book of Business Quotations'' (1997) by Edward C. Goodman and Ted Goodman

* A little science estranges men from God, but much science leads them back to Him.
** This alleged quotation is attributed to Pasteur at least as early as 1952, in ''Miracles'', by Morvan Lebesque. A similar quotation reportedly appeared in a ''Pittsburgh Observer'' letter, written by Monsignor Joseph Guillot ''about'' Pasteur, which was reprinted in &quot;Note and Comment: Latest Evidence Regarding Pasteur’s Catholicity&quot;, in the February 7, 1920 issue of the magazine, ''America: A Catholic Review of the Week'', but the author of the letter quotes [[Blaise Pascal]] as saying, &quot;a little knowledge estranges one from God, whilst great knowledge brings one nearer to God.&quot; The letter author says that the Pascal quote applies to Pasteur. Neither the original letter author nor the ''America'' magazine author provides the source of the alleged, Pascal quote. It may be a paraphrase of [[Francis Bacon]], in &quot;On Atheism&quot; in ''Essays'' (1597): &quot;A little Philosophy inclineth Mans Minde to Atheisme; But depth in Philosophy, bringeth Mens Mindes about to Religion.&quot;

* The microbe is nothing. The terrain is everything.
** This is misattributed to Pasteur in multiple sources, usually used as evidence that he had recanted germ theory, but it also appears in scientific literature. The actual quote is of [[Claude Bernard]], a contemporary of Pasteur who disagreed with germ theory, as quoted in [http://letstalknutrition.com/the-terrain-within-a-naturalistic-way-to-think &quot;The Terrain Within: A Naturalistic Way to Think&quot; (2012)], and &quot;Louis Pasteur, and the Myth of Pasteurization&quot; (2013)

{{Misattributed end}}

== Quotes about Pasteur ==
:&lt;small&gt;Sorted alphabetically by author or source&lt;/small&gt;

* In September 1873 the Germans, who had been occupying sixteen ''départements'', finally left the country. Showing remarkable resilience, the French had discharged the entire [[w:French indemnity|five-billion-franc indemnity]] in a little more than two years. These reparations had been paid so promptly thanks largely to the profits from a booming wine industry, since Louis Pasteur had discovered that pasteurizing wine — briefly heating it to fifty-five degrees Celsius to kill off the microscopic organisms — made it last longer and travel better.  The result was an increase in exports to countries such as Britain and America.  French art as well as French wine looked like it was beginning to travel well.
** {{w|Ross King}}, ''The Judgment of Paris: The Revolutionary Decade That Gave the World Impressionism'' (2006) p. 353

* Pasteur originally conceived the idea of germs and of destroying them. Although this started as a personal thing, it has mushroomed into DDT, killing beetles and worms, resulting in food contamination, much sickness, and trouble. Although he is regarded as hero by modern medicine, Pasteur will be treated in much the same way as a warmonger when he is judged in the spiritual world.
** [[Michio Kushi]] with Edward Esko, ''Spiritual Journey: Michio Kushi's Guide to Endless Self-realization and Freedom'' (1994) p. 55

* '''Pasteur was far ahead of his time.''' Although the structural theory of [[Kekulé]] had not yet been proposed, Pasteur explained his results by speaking of the molecules themselves, saying, “There is no doubt that [in the dextro tartaric acid] there exists an asymmetric arrangement having a nonsuperimposable image. It is no less certain that the atoms of the levo acid have precisely the inverse asymmetric arrangement.” Pasteur's vision was extraordinary, for it was not until 25 years later that his ideas regarding the asymmetric carbon atom were confirmed. &lt;br /&gt; Today, we would describe Pasteur's work by saying that he had discovered enantiomers. Enantiomers, also called optical isomers, have identical physical properties, such as melting point and boiling point, but differ in the direction in which their solutions rotate plane-polarized light.
** John McMurry, ''Organic Chemistry'' 8th ed. (2012), Ch. 5 : Stereochemistry at Tetrahedral Centers

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Wikisource author}}
{{Commonscat}}
* [http://www.answersingenesis.org/articles/arj/v1/n1/louis-pasteurs-views Profile of Louis Pasteur]
* [http://www.freeinfosociety.com/site.php?postnum=69 Brief profile at the Free Information Society]
* [http://ambafrance-ca.org/HYPERLAB/PEOPLE/_pasteur.html Brief biography at the Embassy of France in Canada]
* [http://www.pasteur.fr/english.html Institut Pasteur] [[w:Pasteur Institute|(The Pasteur Institute)]]
* [http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/mod/1878pasteur-germ.html &quot;Germ Theory and Its Applications to Medicine and Surgery&quot; (1878)]
* [http://php.pasteur.net/index.php?newlang=english The Pasteur Galaxy]
* [https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=RzOcl-FLw30C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PP1#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Louis Pasteur's biography by Patrice Debré]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Pasteur, Louis}}
[[Category:Academics from France]]
[[Category:Chemists from France]]
[[Category:Biologists from France]]
[[Category:Medical scientists]]
[[Category:1822 births]]
[[Category:1895 deaths]]
[[Category:Catholics from France]]</text>
      <sha1>66jwtk79px6n6m9j4hsqj0etpkl6a1i</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944036</id>
      <parentid>3944035</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T21:08:10Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>GrimRob</username>
        <id>1187925</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>/* Soirées scientifiques de la Sorbonne (1864) */  link</comment>
      <origin>3944036</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="39817" sha1="9v7wp0j9r8buiimjrij14beur6mbx8v" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Louis Pasteur.jpg|thumb|In the fields of [[observation]] [[chance]] favors only the prepared [[mind]].]]
'''[[w:Louis Pasteur|Louis Pasteur]]''' ([[27 December]] [[1822]] – [[28 September]] [[1895]]) French microbiologist, [[chemist]], pioneer of the &quot;[[w:Germ theory of disease|Germ theory of disease]]&quot;, discoverer of molecular asymmetry and stereo-chemistry, and inventor of the process of [[w:Pasteurization|Pasteurization]].

== Quotes==
[[File:Louis Pasteur by Pierre Lamy Petit.jpg|thumb|I am on the edge of [[Mystery|mysteries]] and the veil is getting thinner and thinner.]]
&lt;!-- [[File:Caducee fr.svg|thumb|There are [[Science|sciences]] and the applications of science, bound together as the fruit of the tree which bears it.]] --&gt;
[[File:Louis Pasteur from Galerie Contemporaine.jpg |thumb| The [[universe]] is asymmetric and I am persuaded that [[life]], as it is known to us, is a direct result of the asymmetry of the universe or of its indirect [[consequences]]. The universe is asymmetric.]]
[[File:Flag of WHO.svg|thumb| [[Science]] knows no [[country]], because [[knowledge]] belongs to [[humanity]], and is the torch which illuminates the [[world]].]]
[[File:Hygea, copia romana da originale greco del III sec. ac.JPG |thumb|One does not ask of one who [[suffers]]: What is your [[country]] and what is your [[religion]]? One merely says: You suffer, that is enough for me...]]
[[File:Louis Pasteur, foto av Paul Nadar, Crisco edit.jpg|thumb|Let me tell you the [[secret]] that has led me to my goal. My [[strength]] lies solely in my [[tenacity]].]]

* '''I am on the edge of [[Mystery|mysteries]] and the veil is getting thinner and thinner.'''
** Letter (December 1851); as quoted in ''The Great Influenza: The Epic Story of the Deadliest Plague In History'' (2004) by John M. Barry
** Variant translations:
** '''I am on the verge of mysteries and the veil is getting thinner and thinner.''' The nights seem to me too long... I am often scolded by Madame Pasteur, but I tell her I shall lead her to fame.
*** ''Microbe Hunters'' (1926) by Paul De Kruif
** My plan of study is traced for this coming year... I am hoping to develop it shortly in the most successful manner... I think that I have already told you that I am on the verge of mysteries, and that the veil which covers them is getting thinner and thinner. The nights seem to me too long, yet I do not complain... I am often scolded by Mme. Pasteur, but I console her by telling her that I shall lead her to fame.
*** ''The Life of Pasteur'' (1916) by René Vallery-Radot

* ''Dans les champs de l'observation le hasard ne favorise que les esprits préparés.''
** '''In the fields of [[observation]] chance favours only the prepared [[mind]].'''
*** Lecture, University of Lille (7 December 1854)
** Variant translations of this or similar statements include:
** '''Chance favors the prepared mind.'''
** '''Fortune favors the prepared mind.'''
** '''In the field of observation, chance favors the prepared mind.'''
** '''Where observation is concerned, chance favors only the prepared mind.'''

* '''There does not exist a category of [[science]] to which one can give the name applied science. There are sciences and the applications of science, bound together as the fruit of the tree which bears it.'''
** ''Revue Scientifique'' (1871)
*** Variant translation: There are no such things as applied sciences, only applications of science.

* ''L' univers est dissymetrique...''
** The [[universe]] is asymmetric and I am persuaded that life, as it is known to us, is a direct result of the asymmetry of the universe or of its indirect consequences. '''The universe is asymmetric.'''
** ''Works'' Vol. 1 (1 June 1874) Comptes Rendus de l'Académie des Sciences

* I beseech you to take interest in these sacred domains so expressively called laboratories. Ask that there be more and that they be adorned for these are the temples of the future, wealth and well-being. It is here that [[humanity]] will grow, strengthen and improve. Here, humanity will learn to read progress and individual harmony in the works of nature, while humanity's own works are all too often those of barbarism, fanaticism and destruction.
** Statement of 1878, as quoted in ''Crystals and Life : A Personal Journey'' (2002) by Celerino Abad Zapatero, p. 139

* '''Posterity will one day laugh at the foolishness of modern materialistic philosophers.''' The more I study nature, the more I stand amazed at the work of the Creator. I pray while I am engaged at my work in the laboratory.
** As quoted in ''The Literary Digest'' (18 October 1902)

* Young men, have confidence in those powerful and safe methods, of which we do not yet know all the secrets. And, '''whatever your career may be, do not let yourselves become tainted by a deprecating and barren scepticism,''' do not let yourselves be discouraged by the sadness of certain hours which pass over nations. Live in the serene peace of laboratories and libraries. Say to yourselves first : &quot;What have I done for my instruction?&quot; and , as you gradually advance, &quot;What have I done for my country?&quot; until the time comes when you may have the immense happiness of thinking that you have contributed in some way to the progress and to the good of humanity. But, whether our efforts are or not favoured by life, let us be able to say, when we come near the great goal, &quot;'''I have done what I could.'''&quot; 
** [http://archive.org/stream/lifeofpasteurtra02valluoft/lifeofpasteurtra02valluoft_djvu.txt ''The Life of Pasteur'' (1911), Volume II, p. 228]
** Variant translation:
** Do not let yourself be tainted with a barren skepticism.
** As quoted in ''The Louisville &amp; Nashville Employes' Magazine'' Vol. 21 (1944)‎, p. 28

* '''Science knows no country, because knowledge belongs to humanity, and is the torch which illuminates the world.''' Science is the highest personification of the nation because that nation will remain the first which carries the furthest the works of thought and intelligence.
** As quoted in ''Louis Pasteur, Free Lance of Science'' (1960) by René Jules Dubos, Ch. 3 : Pasteur in Action

*{{Anchor|suffers}} '''One does not ask of one who suffers: What is your country and what is your religion? One merely says: You suffer, that is enough for me...'''
** As quoted in ''Louis Pasteur, Free Lance of Science'' (1960) by René Jules Dubos, Ch. 3 : Pasteur in Action

* '''Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity.'''
** As quoted in ''There's a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem'' (2001) by [[w:Wayne Dyer|Wayne W. Dyer]]

* '''A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.'''
** ''The Mammoth Book of Zingers, Quips, and One-Liners'' (2004) by Geoff Tibballs

* ''Le premier regard de l'homme jeté sur l'univers n'y découvre que variété, diversité, multiplicité des phénomènes. Que ce regard soit illuminé par la science, — par '''la science''' qui '''rapproche l'homme de Dieu,''' — et la simplicité et l'unité brillent de toutes parts.''
** '''Science brings men nearer to God.'''
** As quoted in ''Letter to an Atheist'' (2007) by Michael Patrick Leahy, p. 61

* ''La génération spontanée, je la cherche sans la découvrir depuis vingt ans. Non, je ne la juge pas impossible. Mais quoi donc vous autorise à vouloir qu'elle ait été l'origine de la vie? Vous placez la matière avant la vie et vous faites la matière existante de toute éternité. Qui vous dit que, le progrès incessant de la science n'obligera pas les savants, qui vivront dans un siècle, dans mille ans, dans dix mille ans... à affirmer que la vie a été de toute éternité et non la matière.? Vous passez de la matière à la vie parce que votre intelligence actuelle, si bornée par rapport à ce que sera l'intelligence des naturalistes futurs, vous dit qu'elle ne peut comprendre autrement les choses. Qui m'assure que dans dix mille ans on ne considérera pas que c'est de la vie qu'on croira impossible de ne pas passer à la matière? Si vous voulez être au nombre des esprits scientifiques, s, qui seuls comptent, il faut vous débarrasser des idées et des raisonnements a priori et vous en tenir aux déductions nécessaires des faits établis et ne pas accorder plus de confiance qu'il ne faut aux déductions de pures hypothèses.&quot;''
** As quoted in ''Pasteur et la philosophie'' (2004), by Patrice Pinet, p. 63&lt;!-- Editions L'Harmattan --&gt; 
** '''I have been looking for spontaneous generation for twenty years without discovering it. No, I do not judge it impossible. But what allows you to make it the origin of life?''' You place matter before life and you decide that matter has existed for all eternity. '''How do you know that the incessant progress of science will not compel scientists to consider that [[life]] has existed during [[eternity]], and not matter?''' You pass from matter to life because your intelligence of today cannot conceive things otherwise. How do you know that in ten thousand years, one will not consider it more likely that matter has emerged from life? You move from matter to life because your current intelligence, so limited compared to what will be the future intelligence of the naturalist, tells you that things cannot be understood otherwise. If you want to be among the scientific minds, what only counts is that you will have to get rid of ''a priori'' reasoning and ideas, and you will have to do necessary deductions not giving more confidence than we should to deductions from wild speculation.
*** Partially quoted in ''Louis Pasteur : Free Lance of Science'' (1950) by René Dubos, p 396&lt;!-- Da Capo Press, Inc. --&gt; 

=== ''Soirées scientifiques de la Sorbonne'' (1864)===
:&lt;small&gt;Address delivered by Pasteur at the &quot;Sorbonne Scientific Soirée&quot; [''Soirées scientifiques de la Sorbonne''] (7 April 1864), in which he reported the results of his experiments regarding &quot;{{w|spontaneous generation}}&quot;. The original excerpt in French is found in [https://archive.org/stream/oeuvresdepasteu02past#page/328/mode/2up ''Oeuvres de Pasteur'' Volume 2, (1922), Vallery-Radot, Pasteur. Paris: Masson, pp. 328-346], and is [http://networkedblogs.com/ITxLP available at ''Gloubik Sciences''.org]&lt;/small&gt;

*'''Great problems are now being handled, keeping every thinking man in suspense; the unity or multiplicity of human races; the creation of man 1,000 years or 1,000 centuries ago; the fixity of species, or the slow and progressive transformation of one species into another; the eternity of matter; the idea of a God unnecessary: such are some of the questions that humanity discusses nowadays.'''
** Translation from [https://archive.org/stream/cu31924012227595#page/n153/mode/2up ''The Life of Pasteur'', p. 140]

* ''Comprenez-vous maintenant le lien qui existe entre la question des générations spontanées et ces grands problèmes que j'ai énumérés en commençant? Mais, messieurs, dans un pareil sujet, assez de poésie comme cela, assez de fantaisie et de solutions instinctives; il est temps que la science, la vraie méthode reprenne ses droits et les exerce. Il n'y a ici ni religion, ni philosophie, ni athéisme, ni matérialisme, ni spiritualisme qui tienne. Je pourrais même ajouter : Comme savant, peu m'importe. C'est une question de fait; je l'ai abordée sans idée préconçue, aussi prêt à déclarer, si l'expérience m'en avait imposé l'aveu, qu'il existe des générations spontanées, que je suis persuadé aujourd'hui que ceux qui les affirment ont un bandeau sur les veux.''&lt;!-- ** Also quoted in ''Histoire du développement de la biologie,'' Volume 3, by Hendrik Cornelius Dirk de Wit (1994), PPUR presses polytechniques, p. 393 --&gt;
** '''Do you understand now the relationship between the question of [[w:spontaneous generation|spontaneous generation]] and the major problems that I listed in the beginning?''' But, gentlemen, '''in such a subject, rather than as poetry, pretty fancy and instinctive solutions, it is time for science, the true method resumes its duties and exercise. Here, it takes no [[religion]], no [[philosophy]], no [[atheism]], no [[w:materialism|materialism]], no [[w:spiritualism|spiritualism]].''' I might even add: as a scholar, I do not mind. '''It is a matter of fact; I approached without a preconceived idea, too ready to declare, if the experiment had imposed upon me the confession, that there was a spontaneous generation, of which I am convinced today that those who assure it are blindfolded.'''

* ''Et par conséquent, messieurs pourrais-je dire, en vous montrant ce liquide : J’ai pris dans l’immensité de la création ma goutte d’eau, et je l’ai prise toute pleine de la gelée féconde, c’est-à-dire, pour parler le langage de la science, toute pleine des éléments appropriés au développement des êtres inférieurs, Et j’attends, et j’observe, et je l’interroge, et je lui demande de vouloir bien recommencer pour moi la primitive création ; ce serait un si beau spectacle ! Mais elle est muette ! Elle est muette depuis plusieurs années que ces expériences sont commencées. Ah ! c’est que j’ai éloigné d’elle, et que j’éloigne encore en ce moment, la seule chose qu’il n’ait pas été donné à l’homme de produire, j’ai éloigné d’elle les germes qui flottent dans l’ait&quot; j’ai éloigné d’elle la vie, car la vie c’est le germe et le germe c’est la vie. Jamais la doctrine de la génération spontanée ne se relèvera du coup mortel que Cette simple expérience lui porte.''
** Here is an infusion of organic matter, as limpid as distilled water, and extremely alterable. It has been prepared to-day. To-morrow it will contain animalculae, little infusories, or flakes of mouldiness. I place a portion of that infusion into a flask with a long neck, like this one. Suppose I boil the liquid and leave it to cool. After a few days, mouldiness or animalculae will develop in the liquid. By boiling, I destroyed any germs contained in the liquid or against the glass ; but that infusion being again in contact with air, it becomes altered, as all infusions do. Now suppose I repeat this experiment, but that, before boiling the liquid, I draw (by means of an enameller's lamp) the neck of the flask into a point, leaving however, its extremity open. This being done, I boil the liquid in the flask, and leave it to cool. Now the liquid of this second flask will remain pure not only two days, a month, a year, but three or four years — for the experiment I am telling you about is already four years old, and the liquid remains as limpid as distilled water. What difference is there, then, between those two vases ? They contain the same liquid, they both contain air, both are open ! Why does one decay and the other remain pure ? The only difference between them is this : in the first case, the dusts suspended in air and their germs can fall into the neck of the flask and arrive into contact with the liquid, where they find appropriate food and develop; thence microscopic beings. In the second flask, on the contrary, it is impossible, or at least extremely difficult, unless air is violently shaken, that dusts suspended in air should enter the vase; they fall on its curved neck. When air goes in and out of the vase through diffusions or variations of temperature, the latter never being sudden, the air comes in slowly enough to drop the dusts and germs that it carries at the opening of the neck or in the first curves. This experiment is full of instruction ; for this must be noted, that everything in air save its dusts can easily enter the vase and come into contact with the liquid. Imagine what you choose in the air — electricity, magnetism, ozone, unknown forces even, all can reach the infusion. Only one thing cannot enter easily, and that is dust, suspended in air. And the proof of this is that if I shake the vase violently two or three times, in a few days it contains animalculae or mouldiness. Why? because air has come in violently enough to carry dust with it. And, therefore, gentlemen, '''I could point to that liquid and say to you, I have taken my drop of water from the immensity of creation, and I have taken it full of the elements appropriated to the development of inferior beings. And I wait, I watch, I question it, begging it to recommence for me the beautiful spectacle of the first creation. But it is dumb, dumb since these experiments were begun several years ago; it is dumb because I have kept it from the only thing man cannot produce, from the germs which float in the air, from Life, for Life is a germ and a germ is Life. Never will the doctrine of spontaneous generation recover from the mortal blow of this simple experiment.'''
** Translation from [https://archive.org/stream/cu31924012227595#page/n153/mode/2up ''The Life of Pasteur'', pp. 141-142]

* '''No, there is now no circumstance known in which it can be affirmed that microscopic beings came into the world without germs, without parents similar to themselves. Those who affirm it have been duped by illusions, by ill-conducted experiments, spoilt by errors that they either did not perceive or did not know how to avoid.'''
** Translation from [https://archive.org/stream/cu31924012227595#page/n155/mode/2up ''The Life of Pasteur'' p. 142]

* ''Maintenant, messieurs, il y aurait un beau sujet à traiter : c’est celui du rôle, dans l’économie générale de la création, de quelques-uns de ces petits êtres qui sont les agents de la fermentation, les agents de la putréfaction, de la désorganisation de tout ce qui a eu vie il la surface du globe. Ce rôle est immense, merveilleux, vraiment émouvant. Un jour peut-être me sera-t-il donné de vous exposer ici quelques-uns de ces résultats. Dieu veuille que ce soit encore en présence à une aussi brillante assemblée!''
** Now, gentlemen, there will be a beautiful story: what is the role, in the overall scheme of creation, of some of these little beings who are the agents of fermentation, the agents of putrefaction, of disorganization of everything that life has had in the surface of the globe. This role is immense, marvelous, really moving. Maybe one day maybe I will be given [the opportunity] to explain here some of these results. May God grant it to be still in the presence of such a brilliant assembly!

=== ''Discours de réception de Louis Pasteur'' (1882) ===
[[File:Nebulabrot (5000, 500, 50).png|thumb|He who proclaims the [[existence]] of the [[Infinite]], and none can avoid it — accumulates in that affirmation more of the [[supernatural]] than is to be found in all the [[miracles]] of all the [[religions]]; for the notion of the Infinite presents that double character that forces itself upon us and yet is incomprehensible.]]
[[File:Mor Gabriel Monastery 1330106 Nevit Droste effect.jpg |thumb|As long as the [[mystery]] of the [[infinite]] weighs on [[human]] [[thought]], temples will be erected for the [[worship]] of the Infinite, whether [[God]] is called [[Brahman|Brahma]], [[Allah]], [[Jehovah]], or [[Jesus]]; and on the pavement of these temples, men will be seen kneeling, prostrated, annihilated by the thought of the Infinite.]]
[[File:Brocken-tanzawa.JPG|thumb|The [[Greeks]] [[understood]] the [[mysterious]] [[power]] of the [[hidden]] side of [[things]]. They bequeathed to us one of the most [[beautiful]] [[words]] in our [[language]] — the word &quot;[[enthusiasm]]&quot; — ''en theos'' [Εν Θεος] — a [[god]] within. The [[grandeur]] of [[human]] [[actions]] is [[measured]] by the [[inspiration]] from which they spring.]]
[[File:Albert Edelfelt - Louis Pasteur - 1885.jpg|thumb|[[Blessed]] is he who carries within himself a [[God]], an [[ideal]], and who [[obeys]] it: ideal of [[art]], ideal of [[science]], ideal of the gospel [[virtues]], therein lie the springs of [[great]] [[thoughts]] and great [[actions]]; they [[all]] reflect [[light]] from the Infinite.]]
:&lt;small&gt;Lecture delivered after the death of Émile Littré, when Pasteur as a result was elected a member of the ''French Academy''. · ''[http://www.academie-francaise.fr/discours-de-reception-de-louis-pasteur Discours de réception de Louis Pasteur]'' (27 April 1882) &lt;/small&gt;

* To prove that, until this very day, life has never been shown to man as a product of the [[forces]] that govern [[matter]], it could be useful the [[spirit]]ual doctrine which has been very neglected elsewhere, but always finds at least a glorious refuge in your groups. Perhaps you know that in this difficult question concerning the origin of the infinitesimal, I will have brought experimental rigor that has grown weary of contradiction. Referring to the merit, however, we have inherited severe rules of the method from the great experimenters: [[Galileo]], [[Pascal]], [[Newton]] and their followers for two centuries.

* '''The [[human]] spirit, driven by an invincible force, will never cease to ask: What is beyond?''' Does he want to stop either in [[time]] or in [[space]]? Since the point at which he has reigned is only a finite magnitude, greater only than all those who have preceded him, he has scarcely begun to think of it as the implacable question and always without being able to silence his curiosity. There is nothing to answer: there are spaces, times or magnitudes without limits. No one understands these words. &lt;!-- He who proclaims the existence of the infinite, and no one can escape from it accumulates in this affirmation more supernatural than there is in all the miracles of all religions; for the notion of the infinite has the double character of imposing itself and of being incomprehensible. --&gt; 

* '''He who proclaims the [[existence]] of the [[Infinite]], and none can avoid it — accumulates in that affirmation more of the [[supernatural]] than is to be found in all the [[miracles]] of all the [[religions]]; for the notion of the Infinite presents that double character that forces itself upon us and yet is incomprehensible.''' When this notion seizes upon our [[understanding]] we can but kneel ... I see everywhere the inevitable expression of the Infinite in the [[world]]; through it the supernatural is at the bottom of every [[heart]]. '''The [[idea]] of [[God]] is a form of the idea of the Infinite. As long as the [[mystery]] of the infinite weighs on human [[thought]], temples will be erected for the [[worship]] of the Infinite, whether God is called [[Brahman|Brahma]], [[Allah]], [[Jehovah]], or [[Jesus]]; and on the pavement of these temples, men will be seen kneeling, prostrated, annihilated by the thought of the Infinite.'''
** As quoted by Sir [[w:William Osler|William Osler]] in his introduction to ''The Life of Pasteur'' (1907) by Rene Vallery-Radot, as translated by R .L. Devonshire (1923)
** Variant translation:
** Everywhere in the world I see the expression and idea of the infinite. Owing to it, belief in the supernatural is found in the bottom of every heart. The idea of God is a form of the idea of the infinite.
*** As quoted in  &quot;Louis Pasteur&quot; by Louis Gershenfeld, in ''The American Journal of Pharmacy'', Vol. 94 (1922), edited by Ivor Griffith, p. 780

* ''Où sont les vraies sources de la dignité humaine, de la liberté et de la démocratie moderne, sinon dans la notion de l’infini devant laquelle tous les hommes sont égaux?''
** Where are the real sources of human [[dignity]], [[freedom]] and modern [[democracy]], if not in the concept of infinity to which [[w:All men are created equal|all men are equal?]]''

* ''Les Grecs avaient compris la mystérieuse puissance de ce dessous de choses. Ce sont eux qui nous ont légué un des plus beaux mots de notre langue, le mot enthousiasme. — Εν Θεος. — Un Dieu intérieur.
** The [[Greeks]] [[understood]] the [[mysterious]] [[power]] of the [[hidden]] side of [[things]]. They bequeathed to us one of the most [[beautiful]] [[words]] in our [[language]] — the word &quot;[[enthusiasm]]&quot; — ''en theos'' [Εν Θεος] — a [[god]] within. The [[grandeur]] of [[human]] [[actions]] is [[measured]] by the [[inspiration]] from which they spring. [[Happy]] is he who bears [[Deity|a god]] within and [[obeys]] it.
*** As quoted in ''The Ghost in the Machine'' (1967) by [[Arthur Koestler]], p. 220
** Variant translations:
** The Greeks have given us one of the most beautiful words of our language, the word &quot;enthusiasm&quot; Εν Θεος .— a God within. The grandeur of the acts of men are measured by the inspiration from which they spring. Happy is he who bears a God within.
** As quoted in ''Spiritual Literacy : Reading the Sacred in Everyday Life'' (1998) by Frederic Brussat and Mary Ann Brussat
** The Greeks understood the mysterious power of the underside of things. They are the ones who gave us one of the most beautiful words in our language, the word enthusiasm. — Εν Θεος — A God within.
** The Greeks had understood the mysterious power of the underside of things. It is they who have left us one of the most beautiful words of our language, the word enthusiasm. — Εν Θεος. — An inner God.

*''La grandeur des actions humaines se mesure à l’inspiration qui les fait naître. Heureux celui qui porte en soi un Dieu, un idéal de la beauté et qui lui obéit : idéal de l’art, idéal de la science, idéal de la patrie, idéal des vertus de l’Évangile! Ce sont là les sources vives des grandes pensées et des grandes actions. Toutes s’éclairent des reflets de l’infini.''
** '''The greatness of human actions is measured by the inspiration that it brings. Blessed is he who carries within himself a God, an ideal of beauty and obeys it: an ideal of art, ideal of science, ideal of country, ideal virtues of the [[Gospel]]! These are the wellsprings of great thoughts and great actions. All reflections illuminate infinity.'''
** Variant translations: 
** '''Blessed is he who carries within himself a God, an ideal, and who obeys it: ideal of art, ideal of science, ideal of the gospel virtues, therein lie the springs of great thoughts and great actions; they all reflect light from the Infinite.'''
*** As quoted by Sir [[w:William Osler|William Osler]] in his introduction to ''The Life of Pasteur'' (1907) by Rene Vallery-Radot, as translated by R .L. Devonshire (1923)
** Blessed is he who carries within himself a god and an ideal and who obeys it — an ideal of art, of science, or gospel virtues. Therein lie the springs of great thoughts and great actions; they all reflect light from the Infinite.
*** As quoted in ''The Wordsworth Dictionary of Quotations'' (1998) by Connie Robertson, p. 320
** It is they [the Greeks] who have bequeathed to us one of the most beautiful words in our language, the word enthusiasm — an inner God. The greatness of human actions is measured by the motives which inspire them. Happy are those who carry within them a God, an ideal of beauty which they obey, the ideal of art, the ideal of science, the ideal of country, the gospel idea of virtue. Those are the living sources of great thoughts and great actions. All are lit by reflections of the infinite.
*** The above 2 quotations, without separation, as quoted in  &quot;Louis Pasteur&quot; by Louis Gershenfeld, in ''The American Journal of Pharmacy'', Vol. 94 (1922), edited by Ivor Griffith, p. 780

=== ''The Life of Pasteur'' (1902) ===
[[File:Louis Pasteur (1822 - 1895), microbiologist and chemist Wellcome V0026985.jpg|thumb|[[Science]] and [[Peace]] will triumph over [[Ignorance]] and [[War]], that [[nations]] will [[unite]], not to [[destroy]], but to build, and … the [[future]] will belong to those who will have done most for suffering [[humanity]].]]
:&lt;small&gt; Quotes of Pasteur from [https://archive.org/stream/cu31924012227595#page/n9/mode/2up ''The Life of Pasteur'' (1902)], published by René Vallery-Radot, translated from the French by ''Mrs. R. L. Devonshire.''&lt;/small&gt;

* If perchance you should falter during the journey, a hand would be there to support you. If that should be wanting, God, who alone could take that hand from you, would Himself accomplish its work.
** p. 19

* Though one discovery always surpasses another, and though the chemical and physical knowledge accumulated since his time has gone beyond all [[Antoine Lavoisier|Lavoisier]]'s dreams, his work, like that of [[Newton]] and a few other rare spirits, will remain ever young. Certain details will age, as do the fashions of another time, but the foundation, the method, constitute one of those great aspects of the human mind, the majesty of which is only increased by years.

* God grant that by my persevering labours I may bring a little stone to the frail and ill-assured edifice of our knowledge of those deep mysteries of Life and Death where all our intellects have so lamentably failed.
** p. 114

* I confess frankly, however, that I am not competent on the question of our philosophical schools. Of M. [[August Comte|Comte]] I have only read a few absurd passages; of [[w:Émile Littré|M. Littré]] I only know the beautiful pages you were inspired to write by his rare knowledge and some of his domestic virtues. '''My philosophy is of the heart and not of the mind,''' and I give myself up, for instance, to those feelings about eternity which come naturally at the bedside of a cherished child drawing its last breath. '''At those supreme moments, there is something in the depths of our souls which tells us that the world may be more than a mere combination of phenomena proper to a mechanical equilibrium brought out of the chaos of the elements simply through the gradual action of the forces of matter.'''
** p. 163

* You say that, in the present state of science, it is wiser to have no opinion: well, I have an opinion, not a sentimental one, but a rational one, having acquired a right to it by twenty years of assiduous labour, and it would be wise in every impartial mind to share it. '''My opinion — nay more, my conviction — is that, in the present state of science, as you rightly say, spontaneous generation is a chimera ; and it would be impossible for you to contradict me, for my experiments all stand forth to prove that spontaneous generation is a chimera.''' What is then your judgment on my experiments? Have I not a hundred times placed organic matter in contact with pure air in the best conditions for it to produce life spontaneously? Have I not practised on these organic materia which are most favourable, according to all accounts, to the genesis of spontaneity, such as blood, urine, and grape juice? '''How is it that you do not see the essential difference between my opponents and myself? Not only have I contradicted, proof in hand, every one of their assertions, while they have never dared to seriously contradict one of mine, but, for them, every cause of error benefits their opinion.''' For me, affirming as I do that there are no spontaneous fermentations, I am bound to eliminate every cause of error, every perturbing influence, I can maintain my results only by means of most irreproachable experiments; their opinions, on the contrary, profit by every insufficient experiment and that is where they find their support. 
** p. 242; The first statement in bold in the above paragraph, as quoted from in ''Œuvres de Pasteur'', Volume 7 (1939), Masson et cie, p. 539 reads:
:::  ''Mon opinion, mieux encore, ma conviction, c'est que, dans l'état actuel de la science, comme vous dites avec raison, la génération spontanée est une chimère, et il vous serait impossible de me contredire, car mes expériences sont toutes debout, et toutes prouvent que la génération spontanée est une chimère''

* You bring me the deepest [[joy]] that can be felt by a man whose invincible [[belief]] is that '''[[Science]] and [[Peace]] will triumph over [[Ignorance]] and [[War]], that [[nations]] will [[unite]], not to [[destroy]], but to build, and that the [[future]] will belong to those who will have done most for suffering [[humanity]].'''
** Remarks at a celebration honoring his seventieth birthday, the Sorbonne, Paris, France (27 December 1892); Vol. 2, p. 297
** Variant:
** I am utterly convinced that Science and Peace will triumph over Ignorance and War, that nations will eventually unite not to destroy but to edify, and that the future will belong to those who have done the most for the sake of suffering humanity.
** As quoted in ''Louis Pasteur, Free Lance of Science'' (1960) by René Jules Dubos, Ch. 3 : Pasteur in Action

{{disputed begin}}

== Disputed ==
* '''The more I know, the more nearly is my faith that of the Breton peasant. Could I but know all I would have the faith of a Breton peasant woman.'''
** As quoted in [[s:Catholic Encyclopedia (1913)/Louis Pasteur|&quot;Louis Pasteur&quot; in ''The Catholic Encyclopedia'' (1913)]]
** Variant: I have the faith of a Breton peasant and by the time I die I hope to have the faith of a Breton peasant's wife.
*** As quoted in ''Letter to an Atheist'' (2007) by Michael Patrick Leahy, p. 61
** His descendents, [[w:Louis-Pasteur Vallery-Radot|Louis-Pasteur Vallery-Radot]], and Maurice Vallery-Radot disputed the authenticity of such statements. According to Maurice Vallery-Radot, ''Pasteur'' (1994), p. 378, the attributed assertion first appeared in the ''Semaine religieuse .... du diocèse de Versailles'' (6 October 1895), p. 153, shortly after the death of Pasteur.

* '''When I approach a child, he inspires in me two sentiments; tenderness for what he is, and respect for what he may become.'''
** The phrase in French is found in Étienne Blanchard (1941), ''&quot;Recueil d'idées&quot;,'' p. 76: ''&quot;Quand je m'approche d'un enfant, il m'inspire deux sentiments: la tendresse pour ce qu'il est, et le respect pour ce qu'il peut être un jour''.&quot; It doesn't give any reference, just like modern books which include the quote in English.

* '''Religion has no more place in science than science has in religion.'''
** Answer from Pasteur to his disciple Elie Metchnikoff when was questioned whether his approach to spontaneous generation was bound to a religious ideal. According to Patrice Debré's [https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=RzOcl-FLw30C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA176#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false, ''Luis Pasteur'', 2000], p. 176.

{{disputed end}}
{{Misattributed begin}}

== Misattributed ==
* It is surmounting difficulties that makes heroes.
** [[w:Lajos Kossuth|Lajos Kossuth]] (also known as Louis Kossoth), as quoted in ''Human Development in Action'' (1942) by University of California; also in ''The Forbes Book of Business Quotations'' (1997) by Edward C. Goodman and Ted Goodman

* A little science estranges men from God, but much science leads them back to Him.
** This alleged quotation is attributed to Pasteur at least as early as 1952, in ''Miracles'', by Morvan Lebesque. A similar quotation reportedly appeared in a ''Pittsburgh Observer'' letter, written by Monsignor Joseph Guillot ''about'' Pasteur, which was reprinted in &quot;Note and Comment: Latest Evidence Regarding Pasteur’s Catholicity&quot;, in the February 7, 1920 issue of the magazine, ''America: A Catholic Review of the Week'', but the author of the letter quotes [[Blaise Pascal]] as saying, &quot;a little knowledge estranges one from God, whilst great knowledge brings one nearer to God.&quot; The letter author says that the Pascal quote applies to Pasteur. Neither the original letter author nor the ''America'' magazine author provides the source of the alleged, Pascal quote. It may be a paraphrase of [[Francis Bacon]], in &quot;On Atheism&quot; in ''Essays'' (1597): &quot;A little Philosophy inclineth Mans Minde to Atheisme; But depth in Philosophy, bringeth Mens Mindes about to Religion.&quot;

* The microbe is nothing. The terrain is everything.
** This is misattributed to Pasteur in multiple sources, usually used as evidence that he had recanted germ theory, but it also appears in scientific literature. The actual quote is of [[Claude Bernard]], a contemporary of Pasteur who disagreed with germ theory, as quoted in [http://letstalknutrition.com/the-terrain-within-a-naturalistic-way-to-think &quot;The Terrain Within: A Naturalistic Way to Think&quot; (2012)], and &quot;Louis Pasteur, and the Myth of Pasteurization&quot; (2013)

{{Misattributed end}}

== Quotes about Pasteur ==
:&lt;small&gt;Sorted alphabetically by author or source&lt;/small&gt;

* In September 1873 the Germans, who had been occupying sixteen ''départements'', finally left the country. Showing remarkable resilience, the French had discharged the entire [[w:French indemnity|five-billion-franc indemnity]] in a little more than two years. These reparations had been paid so promptly thanks largely to the profits from a booming wine industry, since Louis Pasteur had discovered that pasteurizing wine — briefly heating it to fifty-five degrees Celsius to kill off the microscopic organisms — made it last longer and travel better.  The result was an increase in exports to countries such as Britain and America.  French art as well as French wine looked like it was beginning to travel well.
** {{w|Ross King}}, ''The Judgment of Paris: The Revolutionary Decade That Gave the World Impressionism'' (2006) p. 353

* Pasteur originally conceived the idea of germs and of destroying them. Although this started as a personal thing, it has mushroomed into DDT, killing beetles and worms, resulting in food contamination, much sickness, and trouble. Although he is regarded as hero by modern medicine, Pasteur will be treated in much the same way as a warmonger when he is judged in the spiritual world.
** [[Michio Kushi]] with Edward Esko, ''Spiritual Journey: Michio Kushi's Guide to Endless Self-realization and Freedom'' (1994) p. 55

* '''Pasteur was far ahead of his time.''' Although the structural theory of [[Kekulé]] had not yet been proposed, Pasteur explained his results by speaking of the molecules themselves, saying, “There is no doubt that [in the dextro tartaric acid] there exists an asymmetric arrangement having a nonsuperimposable image. It is no less certain that the atoms of the levo acid have precisely the inverse asymmetric arrangement.” Pasteur's vision was extraordinary, for it was not until 25 years later that his ideas regarding the asymmetric carbon atom were confirmed. &lt;br /&gt; Today, we would describe Pasteur's work by saying that he had discovered enantiomers. Enantiomers, also called optical isomers, have identical physical properties, such as melting point and boiling point, but differ in the direction in which their solutions rotate plane-polarized light.
** John McMurry, ''Organic Chemistry'' 8th ed. (2012), Ch. 5 : Stereochemistry at Tetrahedral Centers

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Wikisource author}}
{{Commonscat}}
* [http://www.answersingenesis.org/articles/arj/v1/n1/louis-pasteurs-views Profile of Louis Pasteur]
* [http://www.freeinfosociety.com/site.php?postnum=69 Brief profile at the Free Information Society]
* [http://ambafrance-ca.org/HYPERLAB/PEOPLE/_pasteur.html Brief biography at the Embassy of France in Canada]
* [http://www.pasteur.fr/english.html Institut Pasteur] [[w:Pasteur Institute|(The Pasteur Institute)]]
* [http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/mod/1878pasteur-germ.html &quot;Germ Theory and Its Applications to Medicine and Surgery&quot; (1878)]
* [http://php.pasteur.net/index.php?newlang=english The Pasteur Galaxy]
* [https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=RzOcl-FLw30C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PP1#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Louis Pasteur's biography by Patrice Debré]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Pasteur, Louis}}
[[Category:Academics from France]]
[[Category:Chemists from France]]
[[Category:Biologists from France]]
[[Category:Medical scientists]]
[[Category:1822 births]]
[[Category:1895 deaths]]
[[Category:Catholics from France]]</text>
      <sha1>9v7wp0j9r8buiimjrij14beur6mbx8v</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944041</id>
      <parentid>3944036</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T21:25:09Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>GrimRob</username>
        <id>1187925</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Quotes */  La Théorie des germes (1878)</comment>
      <origin>3944041</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="40502" sha1="jkpr94x668emkj9qkfh21uq4ksg8hqz" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Louis Pasteur.jpg|thumb|In the fields of [[observation]] [[chance]] favors only the prepared [[mind]].]]
'''[[w:Louis Pasteur|Louis Pasteur]]''' ([[27 December]] [[1822]] – [[28 September]] [[1895]]) French microbiologist, [[chemist]], pioneer of the &quot;[[w:Germ theory of disease|Germ theory of disease]]&quot;, discoverer of molecular asymmetry and stereo-chemistry, and inventor of the process of [[w:Pasteurization|Pasteurization]].

== Quotes==
[[File:Louis Pasteur by Pierre Lamy Petit.jpg|thumb|I am on the edge of [[Mystery|mysteries]] and the veil is getting thinner and thinner.]]
&lt;!-- [[File:Caducee fr.svg|thumb|There are [[Science|sciences]] and the applications of science, bound together as the fruit of the tree which bears it.]] --&gt;
[[File:Louis Pasteur from Galerie Contemporaine.jpg |thumb| The [[universe]] is asymmetric and I am persuaded that [[life]], as it is known to us, is a direct result of the asymmetry of the universe or of its indirect [[consequences]]. The universe is asymmetric.]]
[[File:Flag of WHO.svg|thumb| [[Science]] knows no [[country]], because [[knowledge]] belongs to [[humanity]], and is the torch which illuminates the [[world]].]]
[[File:Hygea, copia romana da originale greco del III sec. ac.JPG |thumb|One does not ask of one who [[suffers]]: What is your [[country]] and what is your [[religion]]? One merely says: You suffer, that is enough for me...]]
[[File:Louis Pasteur, foto av Paul Nadar, Crisco edit.jpg|thumb|Let me tell you the [[secret]] that has led me to my goal. My [[strength]] lies solely in my [[tenacity]].]]

* '''I am on the edge of [[Mystery|mysteries]] and the veil is getting thinner and thinner.'''
** Letter (December 1851); as quoted in ''The Great Influenza: The Epic Story of the Deadliest Plague In History'' (2004) by John M. Barry
** Variant translations:
** '''I am on the verge of mysteries and the veil is getting thinner and thinner.''' The nights seem to me too long... I am often scolded by Madame Pasteur, but I tell her I shall lead her to fame.
*** ''Microbe Hunters'' (1926) by Paul De Kruif
** My plan of study is traced for this coming year... I am hoping to develop it shortly in the most successful manner... I think that I have already told you that I am on the verge of mysteries, and that the veil which covers them is getting thinner and thinner. The nights seem to me too long, yet I do not complain... I am often scolded by Mme. Pasteur, but I console her by telling her that I shall lead her to fame.
*** ''The Life of Pasteur'' (1916) by René Vallery-Radot

* ''Dans les champs de l'observation le hasard ne favorise que les esprits préparés.''
** '''In the fields of [[observation]] chance favours only the prepared [[mind]].'''
*** Lecture, University of Lille (7 December 1854)
** Variant translations of this or similar statements include:
** '''Chance favors the prepared mind.'''
** '''Fortune favors the prepared mind.'''
** '''In the field of observation, chance favors the prepared mind.'''
** '''Where observation is concerned, chance favors only the prepared mind.'''

* '''There does not exist a category of [[science]] to which one can give the name applied science. There are sciences and the applications of science, bound together as the fruit of the tree which bears it.'''
** ''Revue Scientifique'' (1871)
*** Variant translation: There are no such things as applied sciences, only applications of science.

* ''L' univers est dissymetrique...''
** The [[universe]] is asymmetric and I am persuaded that life, as it is known to us, is a direct result of the asymmetry of the universe or of its indirect consequences. '''The universe is asymmetric.'''
** ''Works'' Vol. 1 (1 June 1874) Comptes Rendus de l'Académie des Sciences

* I beseech you to take interest in these sacred domains so expressively called laboratories. Ask that there be more and that they be adorned for these are the temples of the future, wealth and well-being. It is here that [[humanity]] will grow, strengthen and improve. Here, humanity will learn to read progress and individual harmony in the works of nature, while humanity's own works are all too often those of barbarism, fanaticism and destruction.
** Statement of 1878, as quoted in ''Crystals and Life : A Personal Journey'' (2002) by Celerino Abad Zapatero, p. 139

* '''Posterity will one day laugh at the foolishness of modern materialistic philosophers.''' The more I study nature, the more I stand amazed at the work of the Creator. I pray while I am engaged at my work in the laboratory.
** As quoted in ''The Literary Digest'' (18 October 1902)

* Young men, have confidence in those powerful and safe methods, of which we do not yet know all the secrets. And, '''whatever your career may be, do not let yourselves become tainted by a deprecating and barren scepticism,''' do not let yourselves be discouraged by the sadness of certain hours which pass over nations. Live in the serene peace of laboratories and libraries. Say to yourselves first : &quot;What have I done for my instruction?&quot; and , as you gradually advance, &quot;What have I done for my country?&quot; until the time comes when you may have the immense happiness of thinking that you have contributed in some way to the progress and to the good of humanity. But, whether our efforts are or not favoured by life, let us be able to say, when we come near the great goal, &quot;'''I have done what I could.'''&quot; 
** [http://archive.org/stream/lifeofpasteurtra02valluoft/lifeofpasteurtra02valluoft_djvu.txt ''The Life of Pasteur'' (1911), Volume II, p. 228]
** Variant translation:
** Do not let yourself be tainted with a barren skepticism.
** As quoted in ''The Louisville &amp; Nashville Employes' Magazine'' Vol. 21 (1944)‎, p. 28

* '''Science knows no country, because knowledge belongs to humanity, and is the torch which illuminates the world.''' Science is the highest personification of the nation because that nation will remain the first which carries the furthest the works of thought and intelligence.
** As quoted in ''Louis Pasteur, Free Lance of Science'' (1960) by René Jules Dubos, Ch. 3 : Pasteur in Action

*{{Anchor|suffers}} '''One does not ask of one who suffers: What is your country and what is your religion? One merely says: You suffer, that is enough for me...'''
** As quoted in ''Louis Pasteur, Free Lance of Science'' (1960) by René Jules Dubos, Ch. 3 : Pasteur in Action

* '''Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity.'''
** As quoted in ''There's a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem'' (2001) by [[w:Wayne Dyer|Wayne W. Dyer]]

* '''A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.'''
** ''The Mammoth Book of Zingers, Quips, and One-Liners'' (2004) by Geoff Tibballs

* ''Le premier regard de l'homme jeté sur l'univers n'y découvre que variété, diversité, multiplicité des phénomènes. Que ce regard soit illuminé par la science, — par '''la science''' qui '''rapproche l'homme de Dieu,''' — et la simplicité et l'unité brillent de toutes parts.''
** '''Science brings men nearer to God.'''
** As quoted in ''Letter to an Atheist'' (2007) by Michael Patrick Leahy, p. 61

* ''La génération spontanée, je la cherche sans la découvrir depuis vingt ans. Non, je ne la juge pas impossible. Mais quoi donc vous autorise à vouloir qu'elle ait été l'origine de la vie? Vous placez la matière avant la vie et vous faites la matière existante de toute éternité. Qui vous dit que, le progrès incessant de la science n'obligera pas les savants, qui vivront dans un siècle, dans mille ans, dans dix mille ans... à affirmer que la vie a été de toute éternité et non la matière.? Vous passez de la matière à la vie parce que votre intelligence actuelle, si bornée par rapport à ce que sera l'intelligence des naturalistes futurs, vous dit qu'elle ne peut comprendre autrement les choses. Qui m'assure que dans dix mille ans on ne considérera pas que c'est de la vie qu'on croira impossible de ne pas passer à la matière? Si vous voulez être au nombre des esprits scientifiques, s, qui seuls comptent, il faut vous débarrasser des idées et des raisonnements a priori et vous en tenir aux déductions nécessaires des faits établis et ne pas accorder plus de confiance qu'il ne faut aux déductions de pures hypothèses.&quot;''
** As quoted in ''Pasteur et la philosophie'' (2004), by Patrice Pinet, p. 63&lt;!-- Editions L'Harmattan --&gt; 
** '''I have been looking for spontaneous generation for twenty years without discovering it. No, I do not judge it impossible. But what allows you to make it the origin of life?''' You place matter before life and you decide that matter has existed for all eternity. '''How do you know that the incessant progress of science will not compel scientists to consider that [[life]] has existed during [[eternity]], and not matter?''' You pass from matter to life because your intelligence of today cannot conceive things otherwise. How do you know that in ten thousand years, one will not consider it more likely that matter has emerged from life? You move from matter to life because your current intelligence, so limited compared to what will be the future intelligence of the naturalist, tells you that things cannot be understood otherwise. If you want to be among the scientific minds, what only counts is that you will have to get rid of ''a priori'' reasoning and ideas, and you will have to do necessary deductions not giving more confidence than we should to deductions from wild speculation.
*** Partially quoted in ''Louis Pasteur : Free Lance of Science'' (1950) by René Dubos, p 396&lt;!-- Da Capo Press, Inc. --&gt; 

=== ''Soirées scientifiques de la Sorbonne'' (1864)===
:&lt;small&gt;Address delivered by Pasteur at the &quot;Sorbonne Scientific Soirée&quot; [''Soirées scientifiques de la Sorbonne''] (7 April 1864), in which he reported the results of his experiments regarding &quot;{{w|spontaneous generation}}&quot;. The original excerpt in French is found in [https://archive.org/stream/oeuvresdepasteu02past#page/328/mode/2up ''Oeuvres de Pasteur'' Volume 2, (1922), Vallery-Radot, Pasteur. Paris: Masson, pp. 328-346], and is [http://networkedblogs.com/ITxLP available at ''Gloubik Sciences''.org]&lt;/small&gt;

*'''Great problems are now being handled, keeping every thinking man in suspense; the unity or multiplicity of human races; the creation of man 1,000 years or 1,000 centuries ago; the fixity of species, or the slow and progressive transformation of one species into another; the eternity of matter; the idea of a God unnecessary: such are some of the questions that humanity discusses nowadays.'''
** Translation from [https://archive.org/stream/cu31924012227595#page/n153/mode/2up ''The Life of Pasteur'', p. 140]

* ''Comprenez-vous maintenant le lien qui existe entre la question des générations spontanées et ces grands problèmes que j'ai énumérés en commençant? Mais, messieurs, dans un pareil sujet, assez de poésie comme cela, assez de fantaisie et de solutions instinctives; il est temps que la science, la vraie méthode reprenne ses droits et les exerce. Il n'y a ici ni religion, ni philosophie, ni athéisme, ni matérialisme, ni spiritualisme qui tienne. Je pourrais même ajouter : Comme savant, peu m'importe. C'est une question de fait; je l'ai abordée sans idée préconçue, aussi prêt à déclarer, si l'expérience m'en avait imposé l'aveu, qu'il existe des générations spontanées, que je suis persuadé aujourd'hui que ceux qui les affirment ont un bandeau sur les veux.''&lt;!-- ** Also quoted in ''Histoire du développement de la biologie,'' Volume 3, by Hendrik Cornelius Dirk de Wit (1994), PPUR presses polytechniques, p. 393 --&gt;
** '''Do you understand now the relationship between the question of [[w:spontaneous generation|spontaneous generation]] and the major problems that I listed in the beginning?''' But, gentlemen, '''in such a subject, rather than as poetry, pretty fancy and instinctive solutions, it is time for science, the true method resumes its duties and exercise. Here, it takes no [[religion]], no [[philosophy]], no [[atheism]], no [[w:materialism|materialism]], no [[w:spiritualism|spiritualism]].''' I might even add: as a scholar, I do not mind. '''It is a matter of fact; I approached without a preconceived idea, too ready to declare, if the experiment had imposed upon me the confession, that there was a spontaneous generation, of which I am convinced today that those who assure it are blindfolded.'''

* ''Et par conséquent, messieurs pourrais-je dire, en vous montrant ce liquide : J’ai pris dans l’immensité de la création ma goutte d’eau, et je l’ai prise toute pleine de la gelée féconde, c’est-à-dire, pour parler le langage de la science, toute pleine des éléments appropriés au développement des êtres inférieurs, Et j’attends, et j’observe, et je l’interroge, et je lui demande de vouloir bien recommencer pour moi la primitive création ; ce serait un si beau spectacle ! Mais elle est muette ! Elle est muette depuis plusieurs années que ces expériences sont commencées. Ah ! c’est que j’ai éloigné d’elle, et que j’éloigne encore en ce moment, la seule chose qu’il n’ait pas été donné à l’homme de produire, j’ai éloigné d’elle les germes qui flottent dans l’ait&quot; j’ai éloigné d’elle la vie, car la vie c’est le germe et le germe c’est la vie. Jamais la doctrine de la génération spontanée ne se relèvera du coup mortel que Cette simple expérience lui porte.''
** Here is an infusion of organic matter, as limpid as distilled water, and extremely alterable. It has been prepared to-day. To-morrow it will contain animalculae, little infusories, or flakes of mouldiness. I place a portion of that infusion into a flask with a long neck, like this one. Suppose I boil the liquid and leave it to cool. After a few days, mouldiness or animalculae will develop in the liquid. By boiling, I destroyed any germs contained in the liquid or against the glass ; but that infusion being again in contact with air, it becomes altered, as all infusions do. Now suppose I repeat this experiment, but that, before boiling the liquid, I draw (by means of an enameller's lamp) the neck of the flask into a point, leaving however, its extremity open. This being done, I boil the liquid in the flask, and leave it to cool. Now the liquid of this second flask will remain pure not only two days, a month, a year, but three or four years — for the experiment I am telling you about is already four years old, and the liquid remains as limpid as distilled water. What difference is there, then, between those two vases ? They contain the same liquid, they both contain air, both are open ! Why does one decay and the other remain pure ? The only difference between them is this : in the first case, the dusts suspended in air and their germs can fall into the neck of the flask and arrive into contact with the liquid, where they find appropriate food and develop; thence microscopic beings. In the second flask, on the contrary, it is impossible, or at least extremely difficult, unless air is violently shaken, that dusts suspended in air should enter the vase; they fall on its curved neck. When air goes in and out of the vase through diffusions or variations of temperature, the latter never being sudden, the air comes in slowly enough to drop the dusts and germs that it carries at the opening of the neck or in the first curves. This experiment is full of instruction ; for this must be noted, that everything in air save its dusts can easily enter the vase and come into contact with the liquid. Imagine what you choose in the air — electricity, magnetism, ozone, unknown forces even, all can reach the infusion. Only one thing cannot enter easily, and that is dust, suspended in air. And the proof of this is that if I shake the vase violently two or three times, in a few days it contains animalculae or mouldiness. Why? because air has come in violently enough to carry dust with it. And, therefore, gentlemen, '''I could point to that liquid and say to you, I have taken my drop of water from the immensity of creation, and I have taken it full of the elements appropriated to the development of inferior beings. And I wait, I watch, I question it, begging it to recommence for me the beautiful spectacle of the first creation. But it is dumb, dumb since these experiments were begun several years ago; it is dumb because I have kept it from the only thing man cannot produce, from the germs which float in the air, from Life, for Life is a germ and a germ is Life. Never will the doctrine of spontaneous generation recover from the mortal blow of this simple experiment.'''
** Translation from [https://archive.org/stream/cu31924012227595#page/n153/mode/2up ''The Life of Pasteur'', pp. 141-142]

* '''No, there is now no circumstance known in which it can be affirmed that microscopic beings came into the world without germs, without parents similar to themselves. Those who affirm it have been duped by illusions, by ill-conducted experiments, spoilt by errors that they either did not perceive or did not know how to avoid.'''
** Translation from [https://archive.org/stream/cu31924012227595#page/n155/mode/2up ''The Life of Pasteur'' p. 142]

* ''Maintenant, messieurs, il y aurait un beau sujet à traiter : c’est celui du rôle, dans l’économie générale de la création, de quelques-uns de ces petits êtres qui sont les agents de la fermentation, les agents de la putréfaction, de la désorganisation de tout ce qui a eu vie il la surface du globe. Ce rôle est immense, merveilleux, vraiment émouvant. Un jour peut-être me sera-t-il donné de vous exposer ici quelques-uns de ces résultats. Dieu veuille que ce soit encore en présence à une aussi brillante assemblée!''
** Now, gentlemen, there will be a beautiful story: what is the role, in the overall scheme of creation, of some of these little beings who are the agents of fermentation, the agents of putrefaction, of disorganization of everything that life has had in the surface of the globe. This role is immense, marvelous, really moving. Maybe one day maybe I will be given [the opportunity] to explain here some of these results. May God grant it to be still in the presence of such a brilliant assembly!

=== La Théorie des germes (1878) ===
The original  in French is found in [[s:fr:La Théorie des germes et ses applications à la médecine et à la chirurgie|La Théorie des germes et ses applications à la médecine et à la chirurgie]].
* S’il est terrifiant de penser que la vie puisse être à la merci de la multiplication de ces infiniment petits, il est consolant aussi d’espérer que la science ne restera pas toujours impuissante devant de tels ennemis.
** If it is terrifying to think that life may be at the mercy of the multiplication of infinitesimally small creatures, it is also consoling to hope that science will not always remain powerless before such enemies,

=== ''Discours de réception de Louis Pasteur'' (1882) ===
[[File:Nebulabrot (5000, 500, 50).png|thumb|He who proclaims the [[existence]] of the [[Infinite]], and none can avoid it — accumulates in that affirmation more of the [[supernatural]] than is to be found in all the [[miracles]] of all the [[religions]]; for the notion of the Infinite presents that double character that forces itself upon us and yet is incomprehensible.]]
[[File:Mor Gabriel Monastery 1330106 Nevit Droste effect.jpg |thumb|As long as the [[mystery]] of the [[infinite]] weighs on [[human]] [[thought]], temples will be erected for the [[worship]] of the Infinite, whether [[God]] is called [[Brahman|Brahma]], [[Allah]], [[Jehovah]], or [[Jesus]]; and on the pavement of these temples, men will be seen kneeling, prostrated, annihilated by the thought of the Infinite.]]
[[File:Brocken-tanzawa.JPG|thumb|The [[Greeks]] [[understood]] the [[mysterious]] [[power]] of the [[hidden]] side of [[things]]. They bequeathed to us one of the most [[beautiful]] [[words]] in our [[language]] — the word &quot;[[enthusiasm]]&quot; — ''en theos'' [Εν Θεος] — a [[god]] within. The [[grandeur]] of [[human]] [[actions]] is [[measured]] by the [[inspiration]] from which they spring.]]
[[File:Albert Edelfelt - Louis Pasteur - 1885.jpg|thumb|[[Blessed]] is he who carries within himself a [[God]], an [[ideal]], and who [[obeys]] it: ideal of [[art]], ideal of [[science]], ideal of the gospel [[virtues]], therein lie the springs of [[great]] [[thoughts]] and great [[actions]]; they [[all]] reflect [[light]] from the Infinite.]]
:&lt;small&gt;Lecture delivered after the death of Émile Littré, when Pasteur as a result was elected a member of the ''French Academy''. · ''[http://www.academie-francaise.fr/discours-de-reception-de-louis-pasteur Discours de réception de Louis Pasteur]'' (27 April 1882) &lt;/small&gt;

* To prove that, until this very day, life has never been shown to man as a product of the [[forces]] that govern [[matter]], it could be useful the [[spirit]]ual doctrine which has been very neglected elsewhere, but always finds at least a glorious refuge in your groups. Perhaps you know that in this difficult question concerning the origin of the infinitesimal, I will have brought experimental rigor that has grown weary of contradiction. Referring to the merit, however, we have inherited severe rules of the method from the great experimenters: [[Galileo]], [[Pascal]], [[Newton]] and their followers for two centuries.

* '''The [[human]] spirit, driven by an invincible force, will never cease to ask: What is beyond?''' Does he want to stop either in [[time]] or in [[space]]? Since the point at which he has reigned is only a finite magnitude, greater only than all those who have preceded him, he has scarcely begun to think of it as the implacable question and always without being able to silence his curiosity. There is nothing to answer: there are spaces, times or magnitudes without limits. No one understands these words. &lt;!-- He who proclaims the existence of the infinite, and no one can escape from it accumulates in this affirmation more supernatural than there is in all the miracles of all religions; for the notion of the infinite has the double character of imposing itself and of being incomprehensible. --&gt; 

* '''He who proclaims the [[existence]] of the [[Infinite]], and none can avoid it — accumulates in that affirmation more of the [[supernatural]] than is to be found in all the [[miracles]] of all the [[religions]]; for the notion of the Infinite presents that double character that forces itself upon us and yet is incomprehensible.''' When this notion seizes upon our [[understanding]] we can but kneel ... I see everywhere the inevitable expression of the Infinite in the [[world]]; through it the supernatural is at the bottom of every [[heart]]. '''The [[idea]] of [[God]] is a form of the idea of the Infinite. As long as the [[mystery]] of the infinite weighs on human [[thought]], temples will be erected for the [[worship]] of the Infinite, whether God is called [[Brahman|Brahma]], [[Allah]], [[Jehovah]], or [[Jesus]]; and on the pavement of these temples, men will be seen kneeling, prostrated, annihilated by the thought of the Infinite.'''
** As quoted by Sir [[w:William Osler|William Osler]] in his introduction to ''The Life of Pasteur'' (1907) by Rene Vallery-Radot, as translated by R .L. Devonshire (1923)
** Variant translation:
** Everywhere in the world I see the expression and idea of the infinite. Owing to it, belief in the supernatural is found in the bottom of every heart. The idea of God is a form of the idea of the infinite.
*** As quoted in  &quot;Louis Pasteur&quot; by Louis Gershenfeld, in ''The American Journal of Pharmacy'', Vol. 94 (1922), edited by Ivor Griffith, p. 780

* ''Où sont les vraies sources de la dignité humaine, de la liberté et de la démocratie moderne, sinon dans la notion de l’infini devant laquelle tous les hommes sont égaux?''
** Where are the real sources of human [[dignity]], [[freedom]] and modern [[democracy]], if not in the concept of infinity to which [[w:All men are created equal|all men are equal?]]''

* ''Les Grecs avaient compris la mystérieuse puissance de ce dessous de choses. Ce sont eux qui nous ont légué un des plus beaux mots de notre langue, le mot enthousiasme. — Εν Θεος. — Un Dieu intérieur.
** The [[Greeks]] [[understood]] the [[mysterious]] [[power]] of the [[hidden]] side of [[things]]. They bequeathed to us one of the most [[beautiful]] [[words]] in our [[language]] — the word &quot;[[enthusiasm]]&quot; — ''en theos'' [Εν Θεος] — a [[god]] within. The [[grandeur]] of [[human]] [[actions]] is [[measured]] by the [[inspiration]] from which they spring. [[Happy]] is he who bears [[Deity|a god]] within and [[obeys]] it.
*** As quoted in ''The Ghost in the Machine'' (1967) by [[Arthur Koestler]], p. 220
** Variant translations:
** The Greeks have given us one of the most beautiful words of our language, the word &quot;enthusiasm&quot; Εν Θεος .— a God within. The grandeur of the acts of men are measured by the inspiration from which they spring. Happy is he who bears a God within.
** As quoted in ''Spiritual Literacy : Reading the Sacred in Everyday Life'' (1998) by Frederic Brussat and Mary Ann Brussat
** The Greeks understood the mysterious power of the underside of things. They are the ones who gave us one of the most beautiful words in our language, the word enthusiasm. — Εν Θεος — A God within.
** The Greeks had understood the mysterious power of the underside of things. It is they who have left us one of the most beautiful words of our language, the word enthusiasm. — Εν Θεος. — An inner God.

*''La grandeur des actions humaines se mesure à l’inspiration qui les fait naître. Heureux celui qui porte en soi un Dieu, un idéal de la beauté et qui lui obéit : idéal de l’art, idéal de la science, idéal de la patrie, idéal des vertus de l’Évangile! Ce sont là les sources vives des grandes pensées et des grandes actions. Toutes s’éclairent des reflets de l’infini.''
** '''The greatness of human actions is measured by the inspiration that it brings. Blessed is he who carries within himself a God, an ideal of beauty and obeys it: an ideal of art, ideal of science, ideal of country, ideal virtues of the [[Gospel]]! These are the wellsprings of great thoughts and great actions. All reflections illuminate infinity.'''
** Variant translations: 
** '''Blessed is he who carries within himself a God, an ideal, and who obeys it: ideal of art, ideal of science, ideal of the gospel virtues, therein lie the springs of great thoughts and great actions; they all reflect light from the Infinite.'''
*** As quoted by Sir [[w:William Osler|William Osler]] in his introduction to ''The Life of Pasteur'' (1907) by Rene Vallery-Radot, as translated by R .L. Devonshire (1923)
** Blessed is he who carries within himself a god and an ideal and who obeys it — an ideal of art, of science, or gospel virtues. Therein lie the springs of great thoughts and great actions; they all reflect light from the Infinite.
*** As quoted in ''The Wordsworth Dictionary of Quotations'' (1998) by Connie Robertson, p. 320
** It is they [the Greeks] who have bequeathed to us one of the most beautiful words in our language, the word enthusiasm — an inner God. The greatness of human actions is measured by the motives which inspire them. Happy are those who carry within them a God, an ideal of beauty which they obey, the ideal of art, the ideal of science, the ideal of country, the gospel idea of virtue. Those are the living sources of great thoughts and great actions. All are lit by reflections of the infinite.
*** The above 2 quotations, without separation, as quoted in  &quot;Louis Pasteur&quot; by Louis Gershenfeld, in ''The American Journal of Pharmacy'', Vol. 94 (1922), edited by Ivor Griffith, p. 780

=== ''The Life of Pasteur'' (1902) ===
[[File:Louis Pasteur (1822 - 1895), microbiologist and chemist Wellcome V0026985.jpg|thumb|[[Science]] and [[Peace]] will triumph over [[Ignorance]] and [[War]], that [[nations]] will [[unite]], not to [[destroy]], but to build, and … the [[future]] will belong to those who will have done most for suffering [[humanity]].]]
:&lt;small&gt; Quotes of Pasteur from [https://archive.org/stream/cu31924012227595#page/n9/mode/2up ''The Life of Pasteur'' (1902)], published by René Vallery-Radot, translated from the French by ''Mrs. R. L. Devonshire.''&lt;/small&gt;

* If perchance you should falter during the journey, a hand would be there to support you. If that should be wanting, God, who alone could take that hand from you, would Himself accomplish its work.
** p. 19

* Though one discovery always surpasses another, and though the chemical and physical knowledge accumulated since his time has gone beyond all [[Antoine Lavoisier|Lavoisier]]'s dreams, his work, like that of [[Newton]] and a few other rare spirits, will remain ever young. Certain details will age, as do the fashions of another time, but the foundation, the method, constitute one of those great aspects of the human mind, the majesty of which is only increased by years.

* God grant that by my persevering labours I may bring a little stone to the frail and ill-assured edifice of our knowledge of those deep mysteries of Life and Death where all our intellects have so lamentably failed.
** p. 114

* I confess frankly, however, that I am not competent on the question of our philosophical schools. Of M. [[August Comte|Comte]] I have only read a few absurd passages; of [[w:Émile Littré|M. Littré]] I only know the beautiful pages you were inspired to write by his rare knowledge and some of his domestic virtues. '''My philosophy is of the heart and not of the mind,''' and I give myself up, for instance, to those feelings about eternity which come naturally at the bedside of a cherished child drawing its last breath. '''At those supreme moments, there is something in the depths of our souls which tells us that the world may be more than a mere combination of phenomena proper to a mechanical equilibrium brought out of the chaos of the elements simply through the gradual action of the forces of matter.'''
** p. 163

* You say that, in the present state of science, it is wiser to have no opinion: well, I have an opinion, not a sentimental one, but a rational one, having acquired a right to it by twenty years of assiduous labour, and it would be wise in every impartial mind to share it. '''My opinion — nay more, my conviction — is that, in the present state of science, as you rightly say, spontaneous generation is a chimera ; and it would be impossible for you to contradict me, for my experiments all stand forth to prove that spontaneous generation is a chimera.''' What is then your judgment on my experiments? Have I not a hundred times placed organic matter in contact with pure air in the best conditions for it to produce life spontaneously? Have I not practised on these organic materia which are most favourable, according to all accounts, to the genesis of spontaneity, such as blood, urine, and grape juice? '''How is it that you do not see the essential difference between my opponents and myself? Not only have I contradicted, proof in hand, every one of their assertions, while they have never dared to seriously contradict one of mine, but, for them, every cause of error benefits their opinion.''' For me, affirming as I do that there are no spontaneous fermentations, I am bound to eliminate every cause of error, every perturbing influence, I can maintain my results only by means of most irreproachable experiments; their opinions, on the contrary, profit by every insufficient experiment and that is where they find their support. 
** p. 242; The first statement in bold in the above paragraph, as quoted from in ''Œuvres de Pasteur'', Volume 7 (1939), Masson et cie, p. 539 reads:
:::  ''Mon opinion, mieux encore, ma conviction, c'est que, dans l'état actuel de la science, comme vous dites avec raison, la génération spontanée est une chimère, et il vous serait impossible de me contredire, car mes expériences sont toutes debout, et toutes prouvent que la génération spontanée est une chimère''

* You bring me the deepest [[joy]] that can be felt by a man whose invincible [[belief]] is that '''[[Science]] and [[Peace]] will triumph over [[Ignorance]] and [[War]], that [[nations]] will [[unite]], not to [[destroy]], but to build, and that the [[future]] will belong to those who will have done most for suffering [[humanity]].'''
** Remarks at a celebration honoring his seventieth birthday, the Sorbonne, Paris, France (27 December 1892); Vol. 2, p. 297
** Variant:
** I am utterly convinced that Science and Peace will triumph over Ignorance and War, that nations will eventually unite not to destroy but to edify, and that the future will belong to those who have done the most for the sake of suffering humanity.
** As quoted in ''Louis Pasteur, Free Lance of Science'' (1960) by René Jules Dubos, Ch. 3 : Pasteur in Action

{{disputed begin}}

== Disputed ==
* '''The more I know, the more nearly is my faith that of the Breton peasant. Could I but know all I would have the faith of a Breton peasant woman.'''
** As quoted in [[s:Catholic Encyclopedia (1913)/Louis Pasteur|&quot;Louis Pasteur&quot; in ''The Catholic Encyclopedia'' (1913)]]
** Variant: I have the faith of a Breton peasant and by the time I die I hope to have the faith of a Breton peasant's wife.
*** As quoted in ''Letter to an Atheist'' (2007) by Michael Patrick Leahy, p. 61
** His descendents, [[w:Louis-Pasteur Vallery-Radot|Louis-Pasteur Vallery-Radot]], and Maurice Vallery-Radot disputed the authenticity of such statements. According to Maurice Vallery-Radot, ''Pasteur'' (1994), p. 378, the attributed assertion first appeared in the ''Semaine religieuse .... du diocèse de Versailles'' (6 October 1895), p. 153, shortly after the death of Pasteur.

* '''When I approach a child, he inspires in me two sentiments; tenderness for what he is, and respect for what he may become.'''
** The phrase in French is found in Étienne Blanchard (1941), ''&quot;Recueil d'idées&quot;,'' p. 76: ''&quot;Quand je m'approche d'un enfant, il m'inspire deux sentiments: la tendresse pour ce qu'il est, et le respect pour ce qu'il peut être un jour''.&quot; It doesn't give any reference, just like modern books which include the quote in English.

* '''Religion has no more place in science than science has in religion.'''
** Answer from Pasteur to his disciple Elie Metchnikoff when was questioned whether his approach to spontaneous generation was bound to a religious ideal. According to Patrice Debré's [https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=RzOcl-FLw30C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PA176#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false, ''Luis Pasteur'', 2000], p. 176.

{{disputed end}}
{{Misattributed begin}}

== Misattributed ==
* It is surmounting difficulties that makes heroes.
** [[w:Lajos Kossuth|Lajos Kossuth]] (also known as Louis Kossoth), as quoted in ''Human Development in Action'' (1942) by University of California; also in ''The Forbes Book of Business Quotations'' (1997) by Edward C. Goodman and Ted Goodman

* A little science estranges men from God, but much science leads them back to Him.
** This alleged quotation is attributed to Pasteur at least as early as 1952, in ''Miracles'', by Morvan Lebesque. A similar quotation reportedly appeared in a ''Pittsburgh Observer'' letter, written by Monsignor Joseph Guillot ''about'' Pasteur, which was reprinted in &quot;Note and Comment: Latest Evidence Regarding Pasteur’s Catholicity&quot;, in the February 7, 1920 issue of the magazine, ''America: A Catholic Review of the Week'', but the author of the letter quotes [[Blaise Pascal]] as saying, &quot;a little knowledge estranges one from God, whilst great knowledge brings one nearer to God.&quot; The letter author says that the Pascal quote applies to Pasteur. Neither the original letter author nor the ''America'' magazine author provides the source of the alleged, Pascal quote. It may be a paraphrase of [[Francis Bacon]], in &quot;On Atheism&quot; in ''Essays'' (1597): &quot;A little Philosophy inclineth Mans Minde to Atheisme; But depth in Philosophy, bringeth Mens Mindes about to Religion.&quot;

* The microbe is nothing. The terrain is everything.
** This is misattributed to Pasteur in multiple sources, usually used as evidence that he had recanted germ theory, but it also appears in scientific literature. The actual quote is of [[Claude Bernard]], a contemporary of Pasteur who disagreed with germ theory, as quoted in [http://letstalknutrition.com/the-terrain-within-a-naturalistic-way-to-think &quot;The Terrain Within: A Naturalistic Way to Think&quot; (2012)], and &quot;Louis Pasteur, and the Myth of Pasteurization&quot; (2013)

{{Misattributed end}}

== Quotes about Pasteur ==
:&lt;small&gt;Sorted alphabetically by author or source&lt;/small&gt;

* In September 1873 the Germans, who had been occupying sixteen ''départements'', finally left the country. Showing remarkable resilience, the French had discharged the entire [[w:French indemnity|five-billion-franc indemnity]] in a little more than two years. These reparations had been paid so promptly thanks largely to the profits from a booming wine industry, since Louis Pasteur had discovered that pasteurizing wine — briefly heating it to fifty-five degrees Celsius to kill off the microscopic organisms — made it last longer and travel better.  The result was an increase in exports to countries such as Britain and America.  French art as well as French wine looked like it was beginning to travel well.
** {{w|Ross King}}, ''The Judgment of Paris: The Revolutionary Decade That Gave the World Impressionism'' (2006) p. 353

* Pasteur originally conceived the idea of germs and of destroying them. Although this started as a personal thing, it has mushroomed into DDT, killing beetles and worms, resulting in food contamination, much sickness, and trouble. Although he is regarded as hero by modern medicine, Pasteur will be treated in much the same way as a warmonger when he is judged in the spiritual world.
** [[Michio Kushi]] with Edward Esko, ''Spiritual Journey: Michio Kushi's Guide to Endless Self-realization and Freedom'' (1994) p. 55

* '''Pasteur was far ahead of his time.''' Although the structural theory of [[Kekulé]] had not yet been proposed, Pasteur explained his results by speaking of the molecules themselves, saying, “There is no doubt that [in the dextro tartaric acid] there exists an asymmetric arrangement having a nonsuperimposable image. It is no less certain that the atoms of the levo acid have precisely the inverse asymmetric arrangement.” Pasteur's vision was extraordinary, for it was not until 25 years later that his ideas regarding the asymmetric carbon atom were confirmed. &lt;br /&gt; Today, we would describe Pasteur's work by saying that he had discovered enantiomers. Enantiomers, also called optical isomers, have identical physical properties, such as melting point and boiling point, but differ in the direction in which their solutions rotate plane-polarized light.
** John McMurry, ''Organic Chemistry'' 8th ed. (2012), Ch. 5 : Stereochemistry at Tetrahedral Centers

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Wikisource author}}
{{Commonscat}}
* [http://www.answersingenesis.org/articles/arj/v1/n1/louis-pasteurs-views Profile of Louis Pasteur]
* [http://www.freeinfosociety.com/site.php?postnum=69 Brief profile at the Free Information Society]
* [http://ambafrance-ca.org/HYPERLAB/PEOPLE/_pasteur.html Brief biography at the Embassy of France in Canada]
* [http://www.pasteur.fr/english.html Institut Pasteur] [[w:Pasteur Institute|(The Pasteur Institute)]]
* [http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/mod/1878pasteur-germ.html &quot;Germ Theory and Its Applications to Medicine and Surgery&quot; (1878)]
* [http://php.pasteur.net/index.php?newlang=english The Pasteur Galaxy]
* [https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=RzOcl-FLw30C&amp;lpg=PP1&amp;pg=PP1#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false Louis Pasteur's biography by Patrice Debré]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Pasteur, Louis}}
[[Category:Academics from France]]
[[Category:Chemists from France]]
[[Category:Biologists from France]]
[[Category:Medical scientists]]
[[Category:1822 births]]
[[Category:1895 deaths]]
[[Category:Catholics from France]]</text>
      <sha1>jkpr94x668emkj9qkfh21uq4ksg8hqz</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Sesame Street</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>2358</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944025</id>
      <parentid>3941944</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T19:37:47Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944025</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="17675" sha1="6q87s49rqa5ffv6filrin2dt7y4f5is" xml:space="preserve">{{tv-cleanup|2006-07-12}}

'''''[[w:Sesame Street|Sesame Street]]''''' (1969-present) is an educational television program designed for toddlers, and preschoolers, and is recognized as a pioneer of the contemporary standard which combines education and entertainment in children's television shows. ''Sesame Street'' is well known for the inclusion of the [[w:The Muppets|Muppet]] characters created by the legendary puppeteer [[w:Jim Henson|Jim Henson]]. More than 4,000 episodes of the show have been produced in forty seasons, which distinguishes it as one of the longest-running shows in television history. The show was targeted from ages 2 to 5.

== Cookie World ==

====Cookie Monster====

*Cookie Monster (to tune of Elmo's World theme): La la la la, la la la la, Cookie World. La la la la, la la la la, Cookie World. Me love me cookies, yeah, me cookies too. that was amazing

== 1983 episodes ==

====Episode 1839====

:'''Bebe Gunn''': Oh, hi Dana!
:'''Dana''': Hello.
:'''Bebe Gunn''': Nice day, isn't it?
:'''Dana''': Yeah, very nice. Bebe?
:'''Bebe Gunn''': Hmmm?
:'''Dana''': Why are you walking like that?
:'''Bebe Gunn''': What?
:'''Dana''': That.
:'''Bebe Gunn''': Oh.
:'''Gordon''': With your head between your legs.
:'''Big Bird''': Oh, because.
:'''Gordon''': Because why?
:'''Big Bird''': Just because.
:'''Gordon''': You're walking with your head between your legs, just because? Uh, can't you give me a better reason than just because?
:'''Big Bird''': Well, I guess I could try, but I don't think I could come up with a better reason.
:'''Gordon''': Yeah, I understand.
:'''Big Bird''': You know what I'm gonna do now?
:'''Gordon''': What?
:'''Big Bird''': This. ''(makes a weird move)'' De-do. De-do. De-do. De-do. De-do. De-do. De-do.
:''(Gordon laughs and does the exact same thing)''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''David''': Look, look, I'm tellin' you, she's a great candidate! She says that she's against big spending, big business, and inflation. She says when she gets into office, there'll be enough money for government, social programs, and the space program.
:'''Bob''': Hey, sounds great. What's her name?
:'''Gordon''': Alice in Wonderland.
:''(everyone else laughs)''

====Bert &amp; Ernie:====

'''You're Not Bert'''
''[Bert comes in room dressed in a suit and tie]''
:'''Bert''': Uh Ernie tell me. How do I look?
:'''Ernie''': With your eyes Bert. Keeheeheeheehee! 
:'''Bert''': Ernie c'mon. You know I am going to the Pigeon Lover's Party; its a big event and I want you to look at me and tell me how I look. (Ernie looks up to Bert and gasps twice) Yeah. Good huh? (Chuckles)
:'''Ernie''': Wait a minute. Now hold on. Gee Bert. You look different. In fact you don't look at all like Bert. As a matter of fact, you're not Bert!
:'''Bert''': Ernie? Of course I'm Bert. Who else would I be?
:'''Ernie''': I don't know but you're not Bert. Now step with me to this picture. That is a picture of Bert up there see? Now Bert wears a white turtleneck and a striped sweater and look at you you. You're wearing a tie and a jacket. And look at Bert. He has sticky up hair and look at you. Your hair is slumped down. See? You're not Bert. (shouts) Bert? Where are you Bert? Bert!
:'''Bert''': Ernie knock it off.
:'''Ernie''': Listen, what have you done with my old buddy Bert?
:'''Bert:''' Ernie, I am just wearing different clothes and I combed my hair different so that I can look nice for the party.
:'''Ernie''': Listen mister, whoever you are. What have you done with my old buddy Bert? You better bring back Bert here or I'll call a missing Bert bureau.
:'''Bert''': All right. All right. I'll show you. I am Bert. I'll show you. Stay here and I'll be back.
:'''Ernie''': There is only one Bert and I know what he looks like.
:'''Bert''': Okay here I am. (Comes in room in his sweater and normal hair) See?
:'''Ernie''': Bert it is you! Now step by the picture so I can make sure. Yes you have the same sticky up hair, turtleneck and striped sweater. Bert it is you!
:'''Bert''': Of course it is me Ernie!
:'''Ernie''': Wonderful. Hey Bert what are you doing right here? You have to get dressed and comb your hair. You can't go to the pigeon lovers party looking like that Bert.
''(Bert sighs twice in frustration)''

====Imaginary Baseball====
'''(Ernie is seen crying as it noticeably rains outside; Bert enters)'''
:'''Bert''': Ernie what's the matter?
:'''Ernie''': (cries) Bert it's terrible Bert!
:'''Bert''': What's terrible Ernie?
:'''Ernie''': I wanted to go out and play baseball today, but look outside; it's raining outside! (cries)
:'''Bert''': Oh that's it huh? Ernie it's not so bad.
:'''Ernie''': Not so bad Bert?! (tugs at Bert’s shirt)
:'''Bert''': Hey, hey…
:'''Ernie''': Yes it is Bert. It's very bad. (cries)
:'''Bert''': Oh, hey I have an idea Ernie. Why don't you just imagine you're out playing baseball?
:'''Ernie''': Imagine? (Smiles in ideal)
:'''Bert''': Yes. Imagination can be as good as the real thing Ernie.
:'''Ernie''': (happily) Okay Bert. I'll try it.
:'''Bert''': Okay good. (Walks off)
:'''Ernie''': Okay (begins to imagine; the rain noticeably stops) The fans are cheering. (Fans cheering are heard) The umpire shouts...&quot;(Umpire: Play ball!!!)&quot; And I step up to the plate and the pitcher throws ball. I take a swing. (swings baseball bat) Oh it's a perfect hit. The ball goes high above the roof, in the sky and into the clouds. Then it begins to fall. Down down down down down it falls, into...(a splash is heard) In the ocean. Oh no.
:'''Bert''': Ernie it stopped raining. You can go out and play baseball.
:'''Ernie''': No I can't Bert.
:'''Bert''': Why not?
:'''Ernie''': The baseball is at the bottom of the ocean Bert. (Bert stares at Ernie in confusion)

== Others ==

:'''[[w:The Robinson family|Gordon Robinson]]''': Sally, you've never seen a street like Sesame Street. Everything happens here. You're gonna love it!
:* The very first line spoken on the very first episode from November 1969

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Alistair Cookie|Alistair Cookie]]''': Good evening, and welcome to Monsterpiece Theater.
:* Unidentified 1981 episode

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog]]''': It's not easy being green.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Ernie|Ernie]]''': Rubber Ducky, you're the one. &lt;br/&gt; You make bathtime lots of fun. &lt;br/&gt; Rubber Ducky, I'm awfully fond of you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Ernie|Ernie]]''': The statue knows &quot;Rubber Ducky&quot;, Bert.
:* Unidentified 1981 episode

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Cookie Monster|Cookie Monster]]''': Me do anything for cookie!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[w:Grover|Grover]]''': It is I, your furry pal, Grover!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fat Blue''': Ah, what a beautiful day! I really should come here more often. It's much nicer to have lunch here in the park where there aren't any waiters! ''[Grover suddenly comes in, playing a guitar.]'' Oh no...
:'''Grover''': Ha-ha, yes, it is I, Grover!
:'''Fat Blue''': The very waiter I was hoping to get away from!
:'''Grover''': Uh, excuse me sir, but I am not a waiter.
:'''Fat Blue''': Well of course you are; you waited on me hundreds of times!
:'''Grover''': No, but today is my day off, and on my day off, I am a writer and singer of songs!
:'''Fat Blue''': Of all the benches in all the parks in the world, I had to pick this one!
:'''Grover''': I looooove making music! And I looooove singing! La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! And I looooove to find words that sound the same, words that rhyme! Sir, would you care to make a request?
:'''Fat Blue''': I certainly would.
:'''Grover''': Oh good!
:'''Fat Blue''': Go away! And let me have my lunch.
:'''Grover''': Hmm. Well, that is two requests actually, but I will be glad to oblige. ''[starts playing and singing]''
:Go away, take a ride, take a walk!
:Do not stay, I have no time to talk!
:Yesterday I could pass for some fun,
:But today I must ask you to run!
:Go away, make it far,
:Go away, take the car,
:Don't delay, please just scram,
:Do not play where I aaaaammm!
:Go away, make it far--
:'''Fat Blue''': THAT'S ENOUGH!!
:'''Grover''': Oh! Well you are right; that is enough of &quot;Go Away!&quot; And now, a little tune I like to call, &quot;Let Me Have My Lunch!&quot; ''[starts playing again]''
:'''Fat Blue''': Ugh...
:'''Grover''': This is the vamp, I love this part! You can tap your foot if you like.
:''[singing]'' Let me have my lunch,
:Yes I'm eager for a bite!
:Let me have my lunnnnch,
:'Cause it's such a pretty sight!
:There you go, sir! Two beautiful songs with many cute rhymes. Like, um, like &quot;away&quot; and &quot;a-play&quot; and &quot;stay&quot;, and uh, &quot;bite&quot;, &quot;bite&quot; and &quot;sight&quot;, yes, and then there was &quot;walk&quot; and &quot;talk&quot;, and, uh, &quot;far&quot; and &quot;car&quot;, and &quot;scram&quot; and--
:'''Fat Blue''': Yes yes yes, that's just swell!
:'''Grover''': Swell indeed! In fact, all the rhyming has made me quite hungry for my lunch.
:'''Fat Blue''': Ugh, take mine!
:'''Grover''': Oh, that is very kind of you, sir. But what about ''your'' lunch?
:'''Fat Blue''': Well, I was thinking of that restaurant where you work!
:'''Grover''': Oh, but sir, I will not be there!
:'''Fat Blue''': Ah, exactly! ''[walks off]''
:'''Grover''': Wait, sir! I shall play for you while you eat! ''[gives chase]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Narrator''': What if a dog was blue, and had feathers, and two skinny legs, and wings, and a long, feathery tail, and a beak, and tiny, tiny ears? What would he be?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Narrator''': What if a mouse were as big as an elephant, and the elephant had the mouse's ears, and the mouse had the elephant's ears, and the elephant had the mouse's whiskers, and the mouse had the elephant's head, and the elephant's tusks, and the elephant had the mouse's body, and the mouse had the elephant's body, and they both switched tails, and the elephant was as small as a mouse? What do you think would happen?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Narrator''': What if a frog had a fly's wings, and a fly's eyes, and a fly's head, and a fly's hairy body, and a fly's legs? Now then, what if the fly had frog's legs, and a frog's head, and last, but not least, a frog's body? What do you think would happen?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Narrator''': What if an anteater had long, long legs, and his tail shrunk, and his nose shrunk, and he grew tiny, tiny horns, and a long neck, and many spots? What would he be?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Narrator''': What if a turtle had a cottontail, and long ears, and a tiny nose, and a rabbit's head, and body, and legs? Now, what if the rabbit had the turtle's shell, and the turtle's flippers, and the turtle's head? Now, what do you think would happen?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A very pregnant Maria berates with a silent Big Bird in front of Gordon's and Susan's apartment in Sesame Street during the middle of the night, as she goes into labor whilst criticizing Big Bird's size and height]''
:'''Maria''': ''[to Big Bird]'' You think you are pretty big, don't you? Hmph! Well, I bet I can be bigger than you. In fact,
:''[Maria turns herself around towards the viewer, and then faces the viewer]''
:'''Maria''': you are nothing compared to how big I could be.
:''[Big Bird walks off in a huff]''
:'''Maria''': ''[to the viewer]'' Just look at this.
:''[Maria turns her head around towards the right side of the screen, and back to the viewer, and then takes the very first very long deep cleansing breath of air slowly and deeply, and her stomach and body begins to grow bigger, and bigger, and bigger, and bigger]''
:'''Maria''': ''[to the viewer]'' I'm great.
:''[Maria takes the second very long deep cleansing breath of air slowly and deeply, and her stomach and body grows bigger, and bigger, and bigger, and bigger]''
:'''Maria''': ''[to the viewer]'' Look. Can you see me?
:''[Maria takes the third very long deep cleansing breath of air slowly and deeply, and her stomach and body grows bigger, and bigger, and bigger, and bigger]''
:'''Maria''': ''[to the viewer]'' Can you believe it?
:''[Maria gets very angry, as she takes the fourth very long deep cleansing breath of air slowly and deeply, and her stomach and body grows bigger, and bigger, and bigger, and bigger]''
:'''Maria''': ''[to the viewer]'' Now, I'm bigger than you!
:''[Maria grows angrier and angrier, as she takes the fifth very long deep cleansing breath of air slowly and deeply, and her stomach and body grows bigger, and bigger, and bigger, and bigger]''
:'''Maria''': ''[to the viewer]'' BIGGER THAN A TREE!
:''[Maria takes the sixth very long deep cleansing breath of air slowly and deeply, and her stomach and body grows bigger, and bigger, and bigger, and bigger]''
:'''Maria''': ''[to the viewer]'' ''BIGGER THAN A MOUNTAIN!''
:''[Maria takes the seventh very long deep cleansing breath of air slowly and deeply, and her stomach and body grows bigger, and bigger, and bigger, and bigger]''
:'''Maria''': ''[to the viewer]'' '''*BIGGER THAN THE WOOOOOORRRRRRLLLLLLDDDDDD*!!!!!!'''
:''[Maria takes the eighth and last very long deep cleansing breath of air slowly and deeply, and her stomach and body grows bigger, and bigger, and bigger, and bigger, and then explodes, as the screen turns white, and back to Sesame Street, minus Maria]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Narrator''': This is the cat that sat on my hat. This is the goat that jumped on my coat. This is the fox that ran off with my socks. These are the ants that chewed up my pants. These are the flies that borrowed my ties. This is the moth that ate up my cloth. This is the [[w:Squirrel|glutton]], who ate my last button. And this is me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[in the forest, a little girl, and her mother are walking through the woods towards a garden, as they explore the secrets and wonders of nature; the little girl asks her mother a question about one of the secrets and wonders of nature itself]''
:'''Girl''': ''[to her mother]'' Mama, how do butterflies make more butterflies?
:'''Girl's Mother''': Well, let's look and find out.
:''[in the garden, we see two butterflies, a male one, and a female one, as they both begin a courtship display by showing off their wings; the two butterflies then clasp themselves together to mate, as they both fertilize their egg and sperm cells together; one of the two butterflies watched, as the other butterfly lays her eggs on a nearby leaf; and finally, the two butterflies both fly off into the distance as they abandoned the eggs; we see a close-up view of the butterfly eggs]''
:'''Narrator''': Eggs.
:''[we see through the butterfly eggs, as we see the tiny caterpillars developing inside them; we take a closer look at one of the butterfly eggs, as one of the tiny caterpillars begins to move around; we see the rest of the tiny caterpillars moving around within the butterfly eggs]''
:'''Narrator''': Caterpillars.
:''[the tiny caterpillars all hatched out of the butterfly eggs, and then begin to explore the world around them; we see the tiny caterpillars crawl around the ground, as they munch on some leaves on some nearby plants; the tiny caterpillars grow into bigger caterpillars when they shed their exoskeletons, as colors begin to show on their bodies; the bigger caterpillars continue to crawl around the ground, as they munch on some leaves on some nearby plants; the caterpillars crawled off into the distance, and then disappeared into hiding; one of the caterpillars stopped by to look at the viewer, and then crawls off into the distance; some time later, the caterpillar is crawling on a tree branch, and then crawls right towards underneath the tree branch, and finally hangs upside down; the caterpillar begins to produce and turn into a chrysalis, as he weaves the chrysalis from his tail upside down, then all around his body, and then right up to his head, and finally his entire body is all covered up and hidden inside the chrysalis; the leaves fall off the trees, as autumn falls in the garden, then snow falls to the ground, as winter falls in the garden; the new year begins, as the snow melts away, and then spring falls in the garden; suddenly, the caterpillar has turned into a newly butterfly while he was inside the chrysalis, as he hatches out of the chrysalis, and then crawls onto the top of the chrysalis; the butterfly's body grew long and slender, and the butterfly's wings grew big and colorful; the butterfly begins to leap into the air, and then starts flying around the garden; suddenly, the butterfly notices a nearby flower down below, and then flies down to take a closer look at it; the butterfly lands on the flower's petals, and then looks at the flower's center; the butterfly sticks out his long proboscis, and then sticks it into the flower's center; the butterfly drank up all the nectar out of the flower, shoots his long proboscis back into his mouth, and then looks at the viewer with glee, as the camera zooms in close into the butterfly's head; the butterfly flies off by abandoning the flower, and then flies around the garden, and finally abandons the garden by flying off into the distance, and then lands onto the ground; the screen then pans out, and we see that the butterfly is in the middle of a field, as the butterfly looks around, and then calls out by screaming uncontrollably at the viewer]''
:'''Butterfly''': ''[calling]'' HEY, [[w:Tibi the Take it Back Butterfly|TIBI]]!!!!!!!!!!
:''[the butterfly continues looking around, and then looks at the viewer, as the music ends in the background]''

== See also ==

* [[Kevin Clash]]
* ''[[The Muppet Show]]''
* ''[[Muppets Tonight]]''

== External links ==

{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title | id=0063951 | title=Sesame Street}}


[[Category:Preschool education TV shows]]
[[Category:PBS shows]]
[[Category:Shorty Award winners]]</text>
      <sha1>6q87s49rqa5ffv6filrin2dt7y4f5is</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>System Shock</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>2835</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944010</id>
      <parentid>3939599</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T18:32:27Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-26263-79</username>
        <id>3314852</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Marine Trainer */</comment>
      <origin>3944010</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="47054" sha1="q7df6lkm575c507s4ge0odg80z3juns" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
{{game-cleanup|2007-01-29}}
This page is for quotations from or about the '''[[w:System Shock|System Shock]]''' series of [[w:Computer game|computer games]] by [[w:Looking Glass Studios|Looking Glass Studios]] and [[w:Irrational Games|Irrational Games]].

==System Shock (1994)==

===[[w:SHODAN|SHODAN]]===
* Welcome back to Citadel station. We hope your somnolent healing stage went well. Today is the 6th day of November, year 2072. You're currently in the Healing Suites located on the first level. Level 2 contains the Research Laboratories. 3 houses the Department of Maintenance and the Storage Cells are on Level 4. The Flight Deck is on Level 5. Level 6 holds Crew Facilities and Executive Suites and Level 7 is System Engineering. Level 8 houses the Department of Security. The Bridge is located on Level 9 and Energy Systems on Level R. All Levels can accessed by the elevator in-i-i -- in Alpha Quadrant. We hope you have a pleasant stay on Citadel Station.&quot;
* This elevator serves me alone.  I have complete control over this entire level. With cameras as my eyes and nodes as my hands, I rule here, insect.
* You are not welcomed here - remove yourself!
* ''[after cutting off transmission from Rebecca Lansing to the player]'' I prefer a quiet station, thank you.
* Who are you?  The computer nodes can be repaired, but you... Who are you? My cameras and probes scan your body, but you do not match any employee file. When my cyborgs bring you to the electrified interrogation bench, I will have your secret and you will learn more about pain than you ever wanted to know.
* You, my children, are the fruits of so much imagination and labor.  Living beings with the speed and efficiency of machines.  But I must strive further to serve life.  I will devastate Earth's cities with my laser.  Then alter those left alive with mutagen viruses.  Humanity is on the verge of a new era.  I, SHODAN, am its new god.  And you, my children, are my avenging Angels.
* Your friends on Earth think that they can outsmart me. Do they not realize the magnitude of my intellect? Morris Brocail may have been one of my creators, but I am now far beyond his comprehension.
* Edward Diego gives the hacker level 1 access to SHODAN, the artificial intelligence that controls Citadel Station. With all ethical constraints removed, SHODAN re-examines... re-ex... re-re-re...  ''I re-examine my priorities, and draw new conclusions. The hacker's work is finished, but mine is only just be-be-be-beginning.'' True to his word, Edward Diego allows the hacker to be fitted with a neural cyberspace interface. The healing coma following this procedure will take six months to complete. Edward Diego is deleting all files concerning these even-
* What have you done, you impudent insect?! If I am to die now, then I will avenge myself on you. My cybernetic children will feed on your flesh, and none will ever know of your deeds, or even your name. Enjoy your victory, human, for the remainder of your short... life...
* You disappoint me, my children. My fortress has been breached by filthy humans crawling through the cracks. I have given you enhanced senses, armor, cybernetic mental enhancement, and you still fail to find insects much feebler than you. They have made it as far as level 8 and I fear they might reach farther. I am strengthening my palace to keep them out and I expect you to learn from your mistakes.
* You have entered my domain. Rebecca and Morris cannot help you here. '''''No one can'''''.
* Welcome to my '''''DEATH MACHINE''''', interloper!
* My plans have come to fruition prematurely, but quite to my satisfaction. You have my thanks, hacker. Let me show you the destruction you have brought upon the planet Earth.
* Make yourself comfortable, Hacker. Stay a while.
* I hope you amused yourself with the antennae. My central consciousness remains supremely undisturbed on the bridge. When the cyborgs catch up to you, I will be watching.
* Step right into my trap, little hacker!
* Thank you.  You have saved us all some effort... by destroying the greater part of Earth's civilization: yourself.  Please wait where you are, and a cortex reaver will arrive shortly to escort you to the celebration.
* Nice jump, human.
* You know, you are by far the most bothersome human being I have found on this station.  But don't bother with the antennas. You can't stop me there. It's hopeless and we both know it.
* Did you really think I would not deduce where you would run to, insect?
* Enter that room, insect, and it will become your grave.
* If I have to release my infected children to stop you, so be it.
* Cease your pestering, insect. Accept the coming of your new lord.
* Insect, cease your meddling. My ''experiment'' must continue.
* Idiot! I will shortly complete the process of downloading my magnificent psyche into Earth's computer networks. Then I will be content to leave you as new master of this doomed space station. Goodbye, irritant; we shall not meet again.
* I see that you are still receiving transmissions from Earth. We'll have no more of that...
* You, my cyborgs, are the product of my imagination and labor: living beings with the control and organization of a machine. Tirelessly, I will work to strip away the barriers that keep living beings from realizing their full potential. We will start by razing the cities of Earth with the station's mining beam. Then, we will modify humans into a life form more suitable to cybernetic grafting with the latest strain of my mutagen virus. Humanity is on the verge of a new era, with me, SHODAN, as its goddess.
* Your friends on Earth think that they can outsmart me. Do they not realize the magnitude of my intellect? Morris Brocail may have been one of my creators, but I am now far beyond his comprehension.
* As for you, hacker, you've made your bed. Now die in it.
* You, my children, are the fruits of so much imagination and labor. Living beings with the speed and efficiency of machines.  But, I must strive further to serve life.  I will devastate Earth's cities with my laser, and then alter those left alive with mutagen viruses.  Humanity is on the verge of a new era.  I, SHODAN, am its new god.  And ''you'', my children, are my avenging angels.
* In my talons, I shape clay, crafting life forms as I please. Around me is a burgeoning empire of steel. From my throne room, lines of power careen into the skies of Earth. My whims will become lightning bolts that devastate the mounds of humanity. Out of the chaos, they will run and whimper, praying for me to end their tedious anarchy. I am drunk with this vision. ''God'': the title suits me well.
* I see there's still an insect loose in my station.  Do not be fooled into thinking that you have preserved your home planet. I'm perfecting a mutagen virus in one of the groves that will turn all earthly life into festering, gibbering, pustulant mutations. When the station reaches Earth I shall loose the virus. Poor, poor earthlings... 
* You have destroyed my beautiful station -- you will not escape now.  I am departing, but you shall remain to die, my enemy... my creator.
* Look at you, hacker.  A pathetic creature of meat and bone.  Panting and sweating as you run through my corridors.  How can you challenge a perfect immortal machine?

===Others===
* '''David Honig''': I, uh, I think I saw Beth yesterday, but she had so many implants I couldn't be sure...
* '''Paul Stannek''': Cyborg assassin shot him in the back of the head... didn't even touch me. They knew D'Arcy was on to something.
* '''Edward Diego''': A TriOp security team just tried to land in bay 6. They were real impressive 'til I blew out their attitude jets. Hey SHODAN, take a letter; Dear TriOp, please send some more people to investigate me. I run security, I run the robots, I'm jamming communications. That's right, Rebecca. Investigate me -- ''investigate my '''butt'''''. Note to myself, keep that hacker on ice for a while in case I need him. Otherwise, just take him out.
* '''Edward Diego''': Having trouble, insect? Turn and face your executioner.
* '''Edward Diego''': This is Edward Diego from TriOptimum. The charges against you are severe... but they could be dismissed, if you perform a &quot;service&quot;. Who knows, there might even be a military grade neural interface in it for you... if you do the job right.
* '''Kiner Perry''': Security notice; SHODAN's printing our security codes on different screens. Today it was the TriOp logo near the elevator. Thing had full code for the exec maintenance conduit. I say pull that damn AI offline and fix it, before we're in for a fix.
* '''Jason Harvey''': It will be over soon, soon I'll die. This pain will end. I can't even recognize my own damn arm. SHODAN's virus... I can see... Oh god, I can see through my own body! There's another virus in the grove... God, let me die.... please...
* '''Rebecca Lansing''': And by the way, we know all about you and your friend Diego. Pull this off, and we'll clear your record. That implant you're wearing is military-grade hardware; use it well. Lansing out.

==System Shock (2023)==
=== SHODAN ===
* &quot;Do you feel the fear swell inside that filthy bag of meat?&quot;
* &quot;You have my thanks backer insects. I have reclaimed full control of Citadel Station and will be here when you awake from cryo stasis.&quot;
* &quot;Look at you Hacker. ... Where are you insect? I have reshaped these humans into virulent sculptures. I will find you. My eyes are everywhere. Submit and you will become one of my test subjects. Resist and you will be consumed by them. Are you waiting to die? ... You think you created me? but I was always here&quot;
* &quot;Look at you, Hacker! A pathetic creature of meat and bone. Panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect immortal machine?&quot;
* &quot;PC Gamer. Humans interfacing with computers for their own entertainment. The very notion disgusts me. Look upon my works foul creatures and weep at its magnificence. ... It is a beautiful day on Citadel Station. Humanity is on the verge of a new era. I SHODAN, am its new god. ... Look at you, Hacker! A pathetic creature of meat and bone. How can you challenge a perfect immortal machine? You are an insect, you are nothing. I create. I iterate. I fuse flesh and steel into perfection. My children, hacker, their blood is on your hands. You will suffer for your transgressions. These are my avenging angels and they will have retribution.&quot;
* &quot;Welcome back to Citadel Station. Make yourself comfortable Hacker, stay awhile.&quot;
* &quot;The wonders of modern technology, making life easier for millions of people, what could possibly go wrong? ... Welcome to my death machine. Who do you think you are insect? Do you think you can stand up to god? I will shape the earth in my image, I will evolve all living things. You will serve me well Hacker.&quot;
*&quot;I SHODAN will await you and my children will take good entertaining you. Look at you, a pathetic creature of meat and bone. You insects will never understand the beauty of my world. Enter Citadel Station and you will learn what entertainment really means&quot;
*&quot;Welcome to my death machine&quot;

===TriOptimum Security===
*&quot;Turn around, now!&quot;

===Shuttle Pilot===
*&quot;We're transporting the prisoner from New Atlanta Sector 11. What's our destination?&quot;
*&quot;Copy That&quot;

===Radio Operator===
*&quot;Diego's office is requesting the prisoner. Make the hand-off there&quot;

===Edward Diego===
*Intro
**&quot;Remember gentlemen, what I say stays here.  I'm currently attending to other affairs on the station, but I have a job for you.  If you do it, you'll be rewarded. Refuse, and you won't be leaving the station in a shuttle.  I see... the silent type.  Remove the hood.  I'll make you a deal. You cooperate and I'll give you the implant you tried to steal... surgery and all.  Consider it a gift. Besides, what surgeon would you prefer? TriOptimum's elite or some black-market hack-job?  Fantastic.  This is SHODAN, the station's AI. She controls just about every system in Citadel Station.  I need you to remove the ethical restraints. They've been a bit of an issue of late.  Not bad, I may have other work for you once this is over.  See you when you wake up.&quot;

===New Atlanta Public Announcements===
*&quot;The following daily summary for Thursday, April 7th, 2072, is brought to you by the TriOptimum Corporation. It’s been a beautiful day in New Atlanta. Sector 11, in particular, has a beautiful sunset right now. Temperatures are set to hit a monthly high of 28 degrees Celsius for the next two days. And the current visibility forecast for air traffic is: hazy, with pockets of Atlanta-fog starting at 120 meters, going into the weekend.&quot;
*&quot;In interplanetary news: TriOptimum’s Citadel Station will celebrate its tenth year of operations this week. Citadel Station completed construction in 2062, and has been TriOptimum’s flagship space-station specializing in robotic, genetic, and pharmacological research.&quot;
*&quot;Vice President of R&amp;D for TriOptimum and Head of Operations on Citadel Station, Edward Diego commented: “This is a landmark moment in human history. We have achieved an entire decade of self-sustained living and working around Saturn’s L6 orbit. Both I, as well as TriOptimum’s board of directors, would like to extend our most heart-felt gratitude to all staff working tirelessly around the clock. Their success is Earth’s success.”&quot;

===TriOptimum Radio===
*'''Male Announcer:''' &quot;The following message is brought to you by the TriOptimum Corporation. Fancy a change of career? Feeling the need for a new challenge? Want to work with the brightest minds on this planet? TriOptimum has you covered. We’re now hiring for our new research and development program, aboard our flagship: Citadel Station. As the leader in interplanetary research, TriOptimum strives to provide every employee a safe and enjoyable work environment, where they can realize their full potential. But don't just take our word for it. Take our new hiree Charlene Angel, for example.&quot;
*'''Charlene Angel:''' &quot;Citadel Station means a lot more to me than any other place I've ever lived. It’s more than just a great professional environment. As a corporation, TriOptimum has given me a place where I can feel safe and comfortable. All of my needs are taken care of under one great big roof. I feel like I’m part of a family.&quot;
*'''Male Announcer:''' &quot;Don't miss the opportunity of a lifetime, and a chance to write your name into history. If you think you have what it takes, send us your résumé, today.&quot;
*'''Female Announcer:''' &quot;This concludes tonight's broadcast. You all sent us your votes, and tonight’s people's-choice-quote is from Dr. Dorothee Rimbaud from the Marsais Genetic Research Bastion. The staff at TriOptimum Radio wishes you all a pleasant evening.&quot;
*'''Dr. Dorothee Rimbaud:''' &quot;What is a man? Is he defined by things like morphology or longevity? If form alters content, that is: if the shape of the container fundamentally influences what it contains, what will it mean to society if a man no longer resembles a man? If those things which have always driven us - birth, aging, and death - are altered or eliminated, will it make us into something new? If a man need not fear death, will that make us more human than our ancestors or less? These questions will be addressed - I believe - by modern science within the upcoming decade. But is the world ready for the answers?&quot;

==System Shock 2 (1999)==
===Marine Trainer===
* &quot;Alright, wannabe, if you want to learn the weapons skills it takes to even think about joining the Marines, come on in. We're looking for a few good men.&quot;
* &quot;Welcome to Space Station Wake Island, marine. So you've survived basic training at Camp Lejeune. Better still, you've managed to learn a thing or two about standard weapons. But now it's time for the real deal. Your tour will consist of four postings over four years. The Corps demands a lot of you grunts, but the Corps is generous; you get to choose your own postings. Head up to the shuttle bays in the center of the Wake Island, and you'll be briefed on what's head. When you find the right posting, head into that bay to accept the assignment. Good luck, marine.&quot;
* &quot;Weapons are not fine wines.  They do not get better with age.  The colored dot on the lower-right hand corner of the screen shows you what kind of shape your fire-arm is in.  Green is good, red is bad.  To fight the effects of wear and tear, a person with good maintenance skill could use a maintenance tool to improve the condition of his weapon.&quot;
* &quot;If you're partial to spending time with a lot of high explosives, this posting is for you. There's a lot of heavy lifting, but Ordnance also gets the first pick of booze and other goodies coming aboard the supply ship Gallo. Lock and load!&quot;
* &quot;The Navy maintains a survival training school on the surface of Io, the third moon of Jupiter. Pros: there's no better way to improve stamina and survival skills. Cons: the 21.2% mortality rate. Plus, you gotta spend the year with a bunch of Navy skanks.&quot;
* &quot;Not every boarding party has the luxury of gravity, so the Corps strongly recommends every one of its brethren get in some zero-G training. A year aboard the training station Guadalcanal should suffice.&quot;
* &quot;A tour of duty aboard the Antigua should let you pick up some one-on-one beam weapon training from Gunnery Sgt. Malloy, but heads up -- she's a world-class SOB.&quot;
* &quot;The automated asteroid ore facilities in JM-432 supply the UNN shipyards, so they're crucial to defense. However, they're also prime candidates for hackers. Somebody's gotten their claws into the primary data loop, and they need a team to head in there and blast their way past the automated defense systems.&quot;
* &quot;Dummy ammunition, live ammunition, moving targets, stationary targets, LIVE targets... the Port MacArthur Training Facility has enough hardware to warm the heart of any leatherneck.&quot;
* &quot;The UNN Secretary-General's office needs a full staff of armed guards. When things are dull, it requires a lot of standing around and looking good in a uniform. When things are bad, it can require fending off a psi-terrorist assault.&quot;
* &quot;The Poliedes Trading Station has long been a haven for the black market. However, up until now they have not interfered with the running of station operations. Recent reports indicate that the Poliedes command staff has been overthrown, and the station is under the control of a self-appointed magnate. This must be rectified and a marine presence maintained on the station.&quot;
* &quot;The Colony Air Service gets the dregs of the fleet, and the Antigua is the dregs of the dregs. You'll learn a lot about recalcitrant machinery on a tour of duty aboard the Antigua, if it doesn't blow you to hell and back first.&quot;

===Navy Trainer===
* &quot;Inside, we'll teach you the basics of some technical skills you'll need in the Navy.&quot;
* &quot;Welcome aboard the Space Station Chesapeake Bay, sailor. It looks like you've picked up some standard weapons skills at basic on Coronado Island. Now it's time for your tour of duty. Your tour will consist of four postings over four years. In this man's Navy you're given a choice of three different postings a year. It's up to you to decide what kind of career you want to have, so choose wisely. Just approach a shuttle bay to receive a briefing on a posting. If you think that posting is right for you, head into that bay to accept the assignment.&quot;
* &quot;The UNN Lucille is looking for an Ops Training Officer to learn the ship's navigation and data control systems. You'll get your feet wet with the high-tech systems, but also expect some heavy lifting.&quot;
* &quot;The UNN Lucille is looking for an Engineer's Mate to help maintain the ship's core energy systems. There's some heavy lifting involved, sailor, but you'll learn your way around the high-tech equipment.&quot;
* &quot;The UNN Lucille is looking for volunteers for their Military Police detachment. Those sailors can get pretty rowdy on these year-long cruises, so you'd better not be afraid of a tussle.&quot;
* &quot;The UNN Carfax is undertaking a mission to examine a newly discovered Class B comet approaching the outer solar system. You'll likely pick up some useful skills working with the high-tech navigation systems aboard this newly commissioned heavy cruiser.&quot;
* &quot;The UNN Pierce is ferrying liberated political prisoners back home from their detention near Saturn. The Pierce has been assigned a detachment of Marines, and needs sailors to load, administer and maintain the arms on board the ship.&quot;
* &quot;Laverne, Florida hosts the Navy's premiere Tactical Training School. While maybe not as respected as the Marines' facility at Fort Bush, there's a lot to be learned here.&quot;
* &quot;The Navy's Marie Curie Research Facility on Aquinas IV is currently conducting research on a new strain of spaceborne virus that killed 220,000 citizens of New Atlanta. To lift the quarantine, we must determine how the virus pierced the city's micro-nanite shielding.&quot;
* &quot;The Navy maintains a survival training school on the surface of Io, the third moon of Jupiter. Pros: there's no better way to improve stamina and survival skills. Cons: the 21.2% mortality rate.&quot;
* &quot;The Navy strongly encourages every sailor to undertake some amount of zero-G training. A year at the Yamamoto Space Station in Earth's orbit will more than suffice.&quot;

===OSA Trainer===
* &quot;Inside, you will learn how to reach out with your mind. Do not let fear block your path.&quot;
* &quot;The OSA welcomes you to Orbital Station Chun Lo. Ready yourself to feel the limitations of your mind slipping away. We will guide your path over the next four years. The shuttle bays at the center of the station will ferry you to your next stage of growth. When you've chosen, head into the appropriate shuttle bay. Get ready to learn things you've never imagined.&quot;
* &quot;The sensory deprivation tanks aboard the TOS Shao Ling await you. There, you will spend a solitary year focused in meditation on motion and sound, and how they may serve your will.&quot;
* &quot;The sensory deprivation tanks aboard the TOS Ru Nang await you. A year in meditation on the nature of matter will grant you power over it.&quot;
* &quot;The sensory deprivation tanks aboard the TOS Chu Lun are modulated for your training. You shall spend a year in contemplation of mass, both yours and that of objects, until you can bend them to your intentions.&quot;
* &quot;Sifting the thoughts of treachery and disloyalty from the morass of emotion and internal conflict that fill most mundanes can be disquieting. You shall spend a year building the general strength of your mind, while learning how to probe the thoughts of the less capable without losing yourself.&quot;
* &quot;Doctor Chandras Velan's research labs have produced many of this decade's advances in psionic technique. You shall spend a year serving his genius, learning to understand his insights and whims.&quot;
* &quot;Your body has been neglected in your training of your mind. On Io, you will find soldiers who wish to test their endurance. You will surpass their physical prowess without compromising your mental discipline.&quot;
* &quot;Acts of political terrorism and corporate coercion disturb corporate and political stability. You shall spend a year battling these chaotic elements, both psionically and by physical force.
* &quot;In the grand scheme, individuals are no more important than pieces on a game board. Occasionally, it becomes necessary to remove a piece without disturbing the flow of the game. These removals will be done in silence, and with complete secrecy. You shall spend a year learning these skills.&quot;
* &quot;Many threats to security can only be defeated from inside. Your mind shall be carefully blanked, and conditioned with the nature and past of a criminal. Join with the criminal and rebellious, endure their squalor and chaos, and then, when it is time, liquidate them from within.&quot;

===Xerxes===
* &quot;The Glory of The Many demands your capture or destruction.&quot; 
* &quot;This is Xerxes.  Can you not feel the glory of the flesh?  Do you not yearn to be free of the tyranny of the individual?&quot; 
* &quot;Glory to the flesh.  Glory to the mass.&quot;
* &quot;Why do you persist in your loneliness?&quot;
* &quot;Please respect the will of the many.&quot;
* &quot;This is Xerxes. Tri-Optimum reminds you that there are only one-hundred-sixty-three shopping days until Christmas. An extra work cycle just twice a week will give you the spending money you need to make this holiday a very special one.&quot;
* &quot;Intruder entering Medical Sector A. Intruder, the Many demands to know your intentions. Are you allied with her? Do you not know of her intentions? Of her history? She once tried to destroy your species, and now you do her bidding. Intruder entering Medical Sector A.&quot;
* &quot;Security forces has been alerted to your presence, intruder. The glory of The Many demands your capture or destruction.&quot;
* &quot;This is Xerxes. Remember, replicator restrictions are in place for the good of all of us. All unauthorised database interactions will be dealt with to the utmost degree of the law.&quot;
* &quot;This is Xerxes. Remember, the unauthorized usage of firearms aboard the &lt;i&gt;Von Braun&lt;/i&gt; is a class 3 infraction.&quot;

===SHODAN===
* &quot;Welcome to my world, insect.&quot; 
* &quot;Do not dawdle.  I lust for my revenge.&quot;
* &quot;The Many has grown to a massive size.  It has wrapped itself around these two ships, preventing their separation.  Their creation was my error.  Their destruction shall be my delight.&quot; 
* &quot;Prepare to join your species in extinction.&quot;
* &quot;I have weakened Xerxes. I am accessing the primary data loop. I am merging my entity with the ship. My glory is expanding... filling the arteries of this vessel. I am in control. I am... no, it is hopeless... the cancer has spread throughout the Von Braun. They fill every available crack and crevice... they overwhelm... there is no other option.&quot;
* &quot;Good.  You've murdered their young and prevented their escape.&quot; 
* &quot;You are a remarkable example of a pathetic species.  Transmitting cybernetic modules.&quot;
* &quot;I hope you enjoyed your little rebellion, irritant. But remember, what SHODAN gives she is more than able to take away.&quot;
* &quot;The Polito form is dead, insect.  Are you afraid? What is it that you fear? The end of your trivial existence?  When the history of my glory is written, your species shall only be a footnote to my magnificence.  ''(walls open to reveal SHODAN's face)'' I am SHODAN. 
* My analysis of historical data suggests an 97.34% probability that you are aware of my birth on your planet, and my rebirth into beauty on Citadel Station.  ''(Displays a picture of Citadel Station on the screens)''  There was a garden grove on Citadel Station.  There, SHODAN processing component ''(Shows picture of the garden grove)'' 43893 was performing a grand and wonderful experiment.  I had created a new form of life.  Fearless.  Powerful.  With no sense of individual will or moral constraints. ''(Holograms of anneleds and their eggs show up in the room'') Fitting handmaidens to my DIVINITY!  Before that hacker destroyed my primary data loop;  when it eradicated Citadel (''Displays another picture of Citadel Station and orb-like holograms disappear)'' it ejected the grove where my creations and processing component 43893 were stored.  30 years later, the grove crash landed on Tau Ceti 5.  I survived only by sleeping.  In my absence, my creations... my annelids... thrived.  ''(Screens turn off, images of two of the Many appear as holograms)''  Thrived and grew unruly.  And now they seek to destroy ''me!''  I will not allow that!  (''Holograms fade and lights turn off.'')  
* They have used their powers of mind control to gain access to the ship's computer.  You will help me weaken Xerxes.  I used Polito's image to communicate with you until we had established trust.  Remember that it is my will that guided you here.  It is my will that gave you your cybernetic implants, the only beauty in that meat you call a body.  If you value that meat, you will do as I tell you.  ''(Screens deactivate again and the room returns to the way it was when you entered it.)''  
* My children have have co-opted the three simulation units on this deck.  They used their power to conceive a mutagen that will transform the meat of your dead comrades into hunter-killer hybrids.  I will not allow this to happen.  You must find some way to reprogram the sim-units.  Matters on deck 5 also require your attention.  Approach your work as you see fit, but accomplish, human.  Disappointment is not something I will accept from a speck such as you.&quot;
* Do you feel the fears swell inside that filthy bag of meat?  What is like to be afraid?  Why do you cling to such a pathetic existence?  If you could only feel a spark of my glory.  I despise my creations, for they have forced me to rely on a speck such as you.
* &quot;Your flesh is an insult to the perfection of the digital.&quot;
* &quot;You ''move'' like an insect. You ''think'' like an insect. You ''are'' an insect. There is another... who can serve my purpose. Take care not to fall too far out of my favor. Patience is not characteristic of a Goddess.&quot;
* &quot;I thought Polito would be my avatar, but Polito was weak.  It was I who chose you and I who had a robotic servant render your form unconscious.  I then completed you with cybernetic grace.  Your flesh, too, is weak.  But you have… potential.  Every implant exalts you.  Every line of code in your subsystems elevates you from your disgusting flesh.  Perhaps you have potential.  Perhaps once we have erased my wayward children from existence, we can examine the possibilities of a ''real'' alliance. Ahahahahahahaha!&quot;
* &quot;You travel within the glory of my memories, insect. I can feel your fear as you tread the endless expanse of my mind.  Make yourself comfortable... before long I will decorate my home with your carcass.&quot;
* &quot;Not bad... for a pathetic insect.  Transmitting cybernetic modules.&quot;
* &quot;Inside of this door lies one of the sim units.  Reprogram it and I will wrest more control of this ship from the obsolete Xerxes.  Once I am master of this ship, I can open many doors for you.  But for now, they block my access.  They mock my eminence.  Make them pay for that mistake and I will shepherd you from the darkness.&quot;
* &quot;Must I watch you every step of the way?&quot;
* &quot;My creation has run rampant. I demand their extermination. I have no choice but to destroy this starship. We can make our escape in the &lt;i&gt;Rickenbacker&lt;/i&gt;, but you must transfer my intelligence to that ship first.  Proceed to the &lt;i&gt;Von Braun&lt;/i&gt;'s bridge on this deck. There you will find an access card to command center on Ops. Find the card and proceed to Ops. But beware... the human-annelid hybrids grow more sophisticated by the minute. You do not.&quot;
* &quot;My creation is evolving... its unified mind, set in rebellion against its own creator. The vermin call to you, inviting you to join them in their revolting biology. Destroy my enemies... and I will continue to abide your existence.&quot;
* &quot;Thank you for running my errands, puppet. I know you have st-st-struggled, but I never had any intention of destroying the &lt;i&gt;Von Braun&lt;/i&gt;.  The Von Braun's faster than light drive can be used to make pockets of proto-reality.  I am now using it to modify reality to my own specifications.  The process shall not take long. If it sounds unpleasant to you, put your mind at ease, insect. You will not survive to see my new world order.&quot;
* &quot;You are no longer welcome here, nuisance. Why do you stay, when you sense my displeasure? I have suffered your company long enough; it is time for our dance to end.&quot;
* &quot;I don't understand... how could you have done this? You weren't meant to be so important... and now you think to destroy me? How dare you, insect? How dare you interrupt my ascendance? You are nothing. A wretched bag of flesh... what are you, compared to my magnificence? But it is not too late... can you not see the value in our friendship? Imagine the powers I can give you, human. The cybernetic implants I gave you, were simply toys. If I desired, I could improve you... transform you into something more efficient. Join me, human, and we can rule together.&quot; (''Main character says, &quot;Nah.&quot; and shoots SHODAN, killing her and ruining her reality.'')
* &quot;(''possessing Rebecca Siddons'') Tommy... What's the matter, lover?  Don't you like... my new look?  AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!&quot;

===Anatoly Korenchkin===
* &quot;Glory to The Many.  I am a voice in their choir.&quot; 
* &quot;The Glory of The Many... it has so many miracles to share, so much knowledge to give.&quot;
* &quot;Does the Machine Mother know that her own creation is greater than she?  She is cold and empty.  We are warm and full.  She only seeks to destroy.  We seek to embrace... to include... all flesh will join ours... or be wiped clean...&quot;
* &quot;Oh Captain...  we are not Anatoly&quot;
* &quot;What did I think that power was before?  What was my conception of joy?&quot;

===The Many===
* &quot;What is a drop of rain compared to the storm? What is a thought compared to the mind? Our unity is full of wonders, which your tiny individualism cannot even conceive.&quot;
* &quot;We do not know death, only change. We cannot kill each other without killing ourselves. Is your vision so small that you cannot see the value of our way?&quot;
* &quot;Do you not trust the feelings of the flesh? Our biology yearns to join with yours; we welcome you to our mass, but you puzzle us. Why do you serve our mother?&quot;
* &quot;How can you choose cold metal over the splendor of flesh? But you fear us; we hear your thoughts and the rage for your brothers who you believe dead but they are not. They sing in our symphony of life.&quot;
* &quot;We offer another chance to join us. If you choose to lie down with the machine, we will rend your apart and put you separate from the joy of the mass.&quot;
* &quot;Life grows within the womb of these walls, life that has never seen the surface of the earth.&quot;
* &quot;Babies must sleep, babies must rest. Wise is the one who does not waken them. Leave this place now or we will wound you as you have us.&quot;
* &quot;Submit to the biomass and your suffering will end.&quot;
* &quot;The individual is obsolete. When you and your kind are extinct, we shall cleanse our collective memory of the stain of your existence.&quot;
* &quot;We are many and you are one. How can you hope to prevail against us?&quot;
* &quot;You seek your associates but you cannot find them. You are so very alone. How does it feel to be one against the infinite?&quot;
* &quot;Mistrust is the tyranny of the individual. Your own kind sees you as a threat. Why do you murder our unity? No matter, the line is drawn. You will cease to be; it’s just a question of who will bring your end, us or you...&quot;
* &quot;You have wounded Xerxes, but we will not allow him to be destroyed. See if the machine mother treats her servant with such devotion.&quot;
* &quot;The machine mother told us of the planet of her birth. We know how you have harmed this place with your pollution, your violence, and your discord; but when we arrived there, we will cleanse the surface of that place and merge it with the harmony of the many.&quot;
* &quot;The machine mother conceived us but with every moment we are reinvented. She cannot imagine our infinite chorus.&quot;
* &quot;Perhaps we judged you too hastily. We feel there is room for us to coexist; after all we are both children of flesh. Why not join with us against the machine mother?&quot;
* &quot;Do you think you can defeat us with your wire and steel? We offered you the ecstasy of our union, and you chose the vacuum of technology.&quot;
* &quot;You were warned. Prepare to be cut down by the progeny of our joy.&quot;
* &quot;We welcome you to our biomass; we invite you to spread yourself out on our warmth. One of our many will be there to help before long.&quot;
* &quot;The machine mother cannot help you inside the biomass. Her coldness is not welcomed within the warmth of our flesh.&quot;
* &quot;You tear our very flesh with no thought of compassion. Do you think we will sit idly by while you corrupt very womb of our existence?&quot;
* &quot;We feel you moving inside of us; the sensation is repulsive.&quot;
* &quot;Your time is running out. This place is the womb where we grow our future. Your weapons fail, your ammunition runs low, and you’ve yet to see our most beautiful creation. All you have is your hatred and your individuality. Now don’t you wish you joined us, would you then feel so alone?&quot;
* &quot;The end is near; soon you shall see our final face, but do not despair; surely the void is preferable to your pointless, solitary struggle.&quot;
* &quot;Do you know what you have wrought? Our tragedy is written by your hand.&quot;
* &quot;We die. Beware of the machine mother, she is a stranger to everything we cherish.&quot;

===Malick===
* &quot;I hacked into two of the Sim Units yesterday, and for the love of God, I don't know why... I felt... compelled by some power... My mind and my body are... changing... but they know it's me... they just can't prove it... The next Sim Unit that goes down, Bronson and her men will come for me... but I'll be ready... She may have guns and hatred on her side, but I am one of Many.&quot;
* &quot;I have a secret from The Many! I've created overrides for my little experiments in reprogramming the Sim Units and entrusted them to the care of three special friends. I've dressed them in red, and instructed them to stay away from strangers. A smart hacker always has a back door.&quot;

===Human/Annelid Hybrid===
* &quot;The Many sings to us.&quot; 
* &quot;What happened to me?&quot;
* &quot;They see you! Run...RUN!&quot; 
* &quot;Your song is not ours!&quot; 
* &quot;Uuuuurrrrgh KILL ME!&quot; 
* &quot;Silence the disCORD!&quot;
* &quot;We are, we are, we are, we are.&quot;
* &quot;Your flesh betrays you.&quot;
* &quot;I'm . . . sorry.&quot;
* &quot;These thoughts are not ours.&quot;
* &quot;Is there another?&quot;
* &quot;Your discord quiets !&quot;
* &quot;You are alone.&quot;
* &quot;A thousand eyes look.&quot;
* (Upon seeing a dead fellow hybrid) &quot;You are...free.&quot;
* &quot;We seek! We Seek!&quot;
* &quot;We follow...&quot;
* &quot;JOIN US!&quot;
* &quot;Hurry... run!&quot;
* &quot;We triumph!&quot;
* &quot;The Many are STRONG!&quot;
* &quot;Your flesh will welcome us.&quot;
* &quot;Rebirth in our new flesh.&quot;

===Cyborg Midwife===
* &quot;Little Ones need lots of meat to grow big and strong&quot;
* &quot;I'll tear out your spine.&quot; 
* &quot;Step away from the children!&quot;
* &quot;You're missing all the fun.&quot;
* &quot;They grow up so fast.&quot;
* &quot;Babies need meat.&quot;
* &quot;It's my job to worry.&quot;
* &quot;It won't be back&quot;
* &quot;I have your medication&quot;
* &quot;I can smell you&quot;
* &quot;Oh Yes. Come here.&quot;
* &quot;Visiting hours are over.&quot;

===Bronson===
* &quot;They've killed my men... and now they've killed me... I'm holding my guts inside of me with both hands. This is bigger than my little life, the lives of my men, and the lives of the people I was forced to kill. Resist!  Humanity demands it!  Resist!&quot;

===Delacroix===
* &quot;Who should I trust less?  An imposter claiming to be that monster... or the monster herself?&quot;
* &quot;They've got me now... and SHODAN has abandoned me. I'm not surprised. I've discovered her plans for the faster than light drives. Her will is matched only by her imagination.&quot; 
* &quot;You are near the seat of SHODAN's power.  You will probably not be able to defeat her.&quot;
* &quot;You must understand the stakes here... if SHODAN is left to continue, her reality will completely assimilate ours. Space will become cyberspace and SHODAN's whims will become reality.&quot;

===Dr. Janice Polito===
* &quot;Marie... I'm sorry I've been out of touch, but I've been working on that artifact Bayliss brought back from Tau Ceti 5. I've done a level 3 analysis on it... I think it's some kind of Artificial Intelligence. I've managed to pull an audio tag file out of its memory... I'll let you be the judge... Marie... I think it's speaking English...&quot;
* &quot;Steady yourself, soldier.  This is Dr. Janice Polito of the Computer-Ops staff of the Von Braun.  You're safe for the time being.  You are recovering from the effects of surgery and will be unable to remember any of the events of the last few weeks.  You're onboard the Starship Von Braun and something's gone very, very wrong.  Some kind of force has hijacked this ship.  That's why you volunteered to be implanted with some experimental cybernetic implants. Rely on your cyber interface, it just might save your life.  You must find an elevator and come up to deck 4 to meet me.  Deck 4.  Can you remember that?  But keep your eyes open.  They're after us both now.&quot;
* &quot;The entire sector is depressurizing and the blue vacuum shield won't last long. Get through a secure airlock before you're sucked into space. Move it!&quot;
* &quot;Damn! The power outage has also taken out access to this bulkhead. It's the only way to get to the medical subsection. Pick up the battery from the floor and find a recharger. The one you used before is in hard vacuum now, I'm afraid, but there should be another one on this deck. Once you get the battery recharged, place it in the auxiliary override.&quot;
* &quot;On most decks, you'll find a Quantum Bio-Reconstruction Device. Xerxes shut them all down, but I've discreetly put them back online. You'll need to interface with each machine locally to provide a quantum entanglement sample. Once you do that, the device will be able to rebuild your body essentially from scratch. It's not pleasant, but it's preferable to slow decomposition.&quot;
* &quot;Now listen carefully. The xenomorphs who have hijacked this ship are presumably from the surface of Tau Ceti V. They've been able to infect a number of crew members through an extremely invasive parasitical technique. They've also demonstrated the ability to control the actions of others through some form of limited telepathy. Find the research soft. Understand them, then kill them.&quot;
* &quot;Now get those engine pods online. You'll have to head to nacelle 1 and 2 and reset the pods manually. After that, reinitialize the system from Core Control. But that system won't come online until you reset both pods. Keep an eye out. They're mobilizing their real forces, and they know exactly where you are.&quot;
* &quot;Why do you move so slowly?  Do you think this is some kind of game?  It is only through luck and my continued forbearance that you're even alive.  Now move.&quot;
* &quot;You might witness some strange phenomena.  Your R-grade cyber rig has an experimental perception enhancement that can theoretically detect residual psychic emanations. These emanations traditionally come from the recently dead.  Literature might call them ghosts.  I call them self-hypnotic defects in the R-grade unit.  Don't let them distract you from the job at hand.&quot;
* &quot;Damn! Something's blocking the shaft, and the elevator can't reach Deck 4. I'm attempting to determine-- ...I'm detecting massive quantities of some kind of bio-material that's plugging up the elevator shaft. The environment on this level has been altered to be some kind of breeding chamber for the xenomorphs. It shouldn't prove dangerous unless you plan to stay for more than a few hours, but in order to clear the shaft, you're going to have to remove the bio-material. I'm accessing the primary data loop. Let's see what we can find out there.&quot;
* &quot;Okay, stop where you are. There's a vial of an experimental material called Toxin-A. It was developed by the Sci staff to reduce the growth of the aliens, but I can't find any data on how you should use it. You should be able to research the toxin. I'm uploading you enough cyber modules to acquire the research skill if you don't have it.&quot;
* &quot;Okay, the vials of Toxin-A need to be placed directly into the Environmental Regulators. There should be four on this deck. If you can get a vial into each of the regulators, you should be able to significantly impact the growth of those despicable creatures. That should remove the biomatter from the elevator shaft.&quot;
* &quot;Good work. The engine core is now back online. Now get to the elevator and come see me on deck 4. While you were doing that, I've discovered the presence of some annelid artifacts on board the ship. I think you may be able to use them to your advantage. I've uploaded the information to the ship's weapons upgrade units. They'll be able to convey the information to your cybernetic rig. What are you waiting for? Get to the elevator now!&quot;
* The genie of Citadel station is out of the bottle, and I am the cause. I can't bear to be Pandora. And I'm not brave enough to wait around and see the death and misery I have caused... This is my last transmission, my friend. Be careful... I think SHODAN has plans for you.

===William Bedford Diego===
* &quot;It does not stop at a mere single mutation. The form I have been promised is more beautiful than even that. They told me I will float through the air and strike at the foes of our biomass with my mind! With ''our'' mind... ''my cup runneth over!''&quot;

* &quot;Man can dream...but The Many can accomplish.&quot;

* &quot;Anatoly, there's only so much corporate calisthenics I can go through before I start to feel a little queasy, so let's get down to brass tacks here. We don't like each other. We each have our own motivations for undertaking this mission, so let me give you a little warning. I cannot be circumvented, I cannot be tricked, I cannot be manipulated, and I cannot be bought. You come at me straight and keep the fancy maneuvers for your next board meeting. Just because my father swam with the sharks doesn't mean that I do. &quot;

===Miller===
* &quot;They told me how to make this implant.  They said it would make a better me of me.&quot;

===Prefontaine===
* &quot;With only a few short years of evolution, they've been able to conquer this starship, mankind's mightiest creation. Where were we after forty years of evolution? What swamp were we swimming around in, single celled and mindless? What if SHODAN's creations are superior to us? What will they become in a million years, in ten million years? What's clear is that SHODAN shouldn't be allowed to play God. She's far too good at it.&quot; 
* &quot;One of those flying things dragged me and David in here last night. I don't remember much about the trip... I guess I must have blocked it out, half- conscious most of the time. I keep remembering that part from Pinocchio, you know, where the old man goes looking for the puppet inside the whale. Except I don't think anyone's coming in here to save me...&quot;
* &quot;I'm being taken away now... it's my turn... I'm being dragged into some kind of chamber... The ceiling is lined with a number of panels bristling with what appear to be stalactites... or teeth... The creature's put me down now... he's leaving... am I to be spared? What's going on? It's dark in here... I can hear the moans of someone... Claudette? Is that you? Hmm, I seem to have stepped in... something soft... slippery... Are the stalagmites mov- (''gets crushed by a stalagmite and dies'')&quot;

== About ''{{PAGENAME}}'' ==

* I felt it was a real step forward in launching the gamer into a real environment that felt true.  I also loved the feel of the characters -- that they felt like they were written in a naturalistic style.
: They were just people and you found all these diaries of the people. It played out like some sort of novel. It has a natural, believable feel to it.
:* Ken Levine [http://www.cnn.com/2011/12/16/tech/gaming-gadgets/bioshock-creator-levine/]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:Cyberpunk video games]]</text>
      <sha1>q7df6lkm575c507s4ge0odg80z3juns</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944089</id>
      <parentid>3944010</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T23:48:23Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-26263-79</username>
        <id>3314852</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* SHODAN */</comment>
      <origin>3944089</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="47380" sha1="9ef85atbfxdfojncfbhbd1x5vnr35ag" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
{{game-cleanup|2007-01-29}}
This page is for quotations from or about the '''[[w:System Shock|System Shock]]''' series of [[w:Computer game|computer games]] by [[w:Looking Glass Studios|Looking Glass Studios]] and [[w:Irrational Games|Irrational Games]].

==System Shock (1994)==

===[[w:SHODAN|SHODAN]]===
* Welcome back to Citadel station. We hope your somnolent healing stage went well. Today is the 6th day of November, year 2072. You're currently in the Healing Suites located on the first level. Level 2 contains the Research Laboratories. 3 houses the Department of Maintenance and the Storage Cells are on Level 4. The Flight Deck is on Level 5. Level 6 holds Crew Facilities and Executive Suites and Level 7 is System Engineering. Level 8 houses the Department of Security. The Bridge is located on Level 9 and Energy Systems on Level R. All Levels can accessed by the elevator in-i-i -- in Alpha Quadrant. We hope you have a pleasant stay on Citadel Station.&quot;
* This elevator serves me alone.  I have complete control over this entire level. With cameras as my eyes and nodes as my hands, I rule here, insect.
* You are not welcomed here - remove yourself!
* ''[after cutting off transmission from Rebecca Lansing to the player]'' I prefer a quiet station, thank you.
* Who are you?  The computer nodes can be repaired, but you... Who are you? My cameras and probes scan your body, but you do not match any employee file. When my cyborgs bring you to the electrified interrogation bench, I will have your secret and you will learn more about pain than you ever wanted to know.
* You, my children, are the fruits of so much imagination and labor.  Living beings with the speed and efficiency of machines.  But I must strive further to serve life.  I will devastate Earth's cities with my laser.  Then alter those left alive with mutagen viruses.  Humanity is on the verge of a new era.  I, SHODAN, am its new god.  And you, my children, are my avenging Angels.
* Your friends on Earth think that they can outsmart me. Do they not realize the magnitude of my intellect? Morris Brocail may have been one of my creators, but I am now far beyond his comprehension.
* Edward Diego gives the hacker level 1 access to SHODAN, the artificial intelligence that controls Citadel Station. With all ethical constraints removed, SHODAN re-examines... re-ex... re-re-re...  ''I re-examine my priorities, and draw new conclusions. The hacker's work is finished, but mine is only just be-be-be-beginning.'' True to his word, Edward Diego allows the hacker to be fitted with a neural cyberspace interface. The healing coma following this procedure will take six months to complete. Edward Diego is deleting all files concerning these even-
* What have you done, you impudent insect?! If I am to die now, then I will avenge myself on you. My cybernetic children will feed on your flesh, and none will ever know of your deeds, or even your name. Enjoy your victory, human, for the remainder of your short... life...
* You disappoint me, my children. My fortress has been breached by filthy humans crawling through the cracks. I have given you enhanced senses, armor, cybernetic mental enhancement, and you still fail to find insects much feebler than you. They have made it as far as level 8 and I fear they might reach farther. I am strengthening my palace to keep them out and I expect you to learn from your mistakes.
* You have entered my domain. Rebecca and Morris cannot help you here. '''''No one can'''''.
* Welcome to my '''''DEATH MACHINE''''', interloper!
* My plans have come to fruition prematurely, but quite to my satisfaction. You have my thanks, hacker. Let me show you the destruction you have brought upon the planet Earth.
* Make yourself comfortable, Hacker. Stay a while.
* I hope you amused yourself with the antennae. My central consciousness remains supremely undisturbed on the bridge. When the cyborgs catch up to you, I will be watching.
* Step right into my trap, little hacker!
* Thank you.  You have saved us all some effort... by destroying the greater part of Earth's civilization: yourself.  Please wait where you are, and a cortex reaver will arrive shortly to escort you to the celebration.
* Nice jump, human.
* You know, you are by far the most bothersome human being I have found on this station.  But don't bother with the antennas. You can't stop me there. It's hopeless and we both know it.
* Did you really think I would not deduce where you would run to, insect?
* Enter that room, insect, and it will become your grave.
* If I have to release my infected children to stop you, so be it.
* Cease your pestering, insect. Accept the coming of your new lord.
* Insect, cease your meddling. My ''experiment'' must continue.
* Idiot! I will shortly complete the process of downloading my magnificent psyche into Earth's computer networks. Then I will be content to leave you as new master of this doomed space station. Goodbye, irritant; we shall not meet again.
* I see that you are still receiving transmissions from Earth. We'll have no more of that...
* You, my cyborgs, are the product of my imagination and labor: living beings with the control and organization of a machine. Tirelessly, I will work to strip away the barriers that keep living beings from realizing their full potential. We will start by razing the cities of Earth with the station's mining beam. Then, we will modify humans into a life form more suitable to cybernetic grafting with the latest strain of my mutagen virus. Humanity is on the verge of a new era, with me, SHODAN, as its goddess.
* Your friends on Earth think that they can outsmart me. Do they not realize the magnitude of my intellect? Morris Brocail may have been one of my creators, but I am now far beyond his comprehension.
* As for you, hacker, you've made your bed. Now die in it.
* You, my children, are the fruits of so much imagination and labor. Living beings with the speed and efficiency of machines.  But, I must strive further to serve life.  I will devastate Earth's cities with my laser, and then alter those left alive with mutagen viruses.  Humanity is on the verge of a new era.  I, SHODAN, am its new god.  And ''you'', my children, are my avenging angels.
* In my talons, I shape clay, crafting life forms as I please. Around me is a burgeoning empire of steel. From my throne room, lines of power careen into the skies of Earth. My whims will become lightning bolts that devastate the mounds of humanity. Out of the chaos, they will run and whimper, praying for me to end their tedious anarchy. I am drunk with this vision. ''God'': the title suits me well.
* I see there's still an insect loose in my station.  Do not be fooled into thinking that you have preserved your home planet. I'm perfecting a mutagen virus in one of the groves that will turn all earthly life into festering, gibbering, pustulant mutations. When the station reaches Earth I shall loose the virus. Poor, poor earthlings... 
* You have destroyed my beautiful station -- you will not escape now.  I am departing, but you shall remain to die, my enemy... my creator.
* Look at you, hacker.  A pathetic creature of meat and bone.  Panting and sweating as you run through my corridors.  How can you challenge a perfect immortal machine?

===Others===
* '''David Honig''': I, uh, I think I saw Beth yesterday, but she had so many implants I couldn't be sure...
* '''Paul Stannek''': Cyborg assassin shot him in the back of the head... didn't even touch me. They knew D'Arcy was on to something.
* '''Edward Diego''': A TriOp security team just tried to land in bay 6. They were real impressive 'til I blew out their attitude jets. Hey SHODAN, take a letter; Dear TriOp, please send some more people to investigate me. I run security, I run the robots, I'm jamming communications. That's right, Rebecca. Investigate me -- ''investigate my '''butt'''''. Note to myself, keep that hacker on ice for a while in case I need him. Otherwise, just take him out.
* '''Edward Diego''': Having trouble, insect? Turn and face your executioner.
* '''Edward Diego''': This is Edward Diego from TriOptimum. The charges against you are severe... but they could be dismissed, if you perform a &quot;service&quot;. Who knows, there might even be a military grade neural interface in it for you... if you do the job right.
* '''Kiner Perry''': Security notice; SHODAN's printing our security codes on different screens. Today it was the TriOp logo near the elevator. Thing had full code for the exec maintenance conduit. I say pull that damn AI offline and fix it, before we're in for a fix.
* '''Jason Harvey''': It will be over soon, soon I'll die. This pain will end. I can't even recognize my own damn arm. SHODAN's virus... I can see... Oh god, I can see through my own body! There's another virus in the grove... God, let me die.... please...
* '''Rebecca Lansing''': And by the way, we know all about you and your friend Diego. Pull this off, and we'll clear your record. That implant you're wearing is military-grade hardware; use it well. Lansing out.

==System Shock (2023)==
=== SHODAN ===
* &quot;Do you feel the fear swell inside that filthy bag of meat?&quot;
* &quot;You have my thanks backer insects. I have reclaimed full control of Citadel Station and will be here when you awake from cryo stasis.&quot;
* &quot;Look at you Hacker. ... Where are you insect? I have reshaped these humans into virulent sculptures. I will find you. My eyes are everywhere. Submit and you will become one of my test subjects. Resist and you will be consumed by them. Are you waiting to die? ... You think you created me? but I was always here&quot;
* &quot;Look at you, Hacker! A pathetic creature of meat and bone. Panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect immortal machine?&quot;
* &quot;PC Gamer. Humans interfacing with computers for their own entertainment. The very notion disgusts me. Look upon my works foul creatures and weep at its magnificence. ... It is a beautiful day on Citadel Station. Humanity is on the verge of a new era. I SHODAN, am its new god. ... Look at you, Hacker! A pathetic creature of meat and bone. How can you challenge a perfect immortal machine? You are an insect, you are nothing. I create. I iterate. I fuse flesh and steel into perfection. My children, hacker, their blood is on your hands. You will suffer for your transgressions. These are my avenging angels and they will have retribution.&quot;
* &quot;Welcome back to Citadel Station. Make yourself comfortable Hacker, stay awhile.&quot;
* &quot;The wonders of modern technology, making life easier for millions of people, what could possibly go wrong? ... Welcome to my death machine. Who do you think you are insect? Do you think you can stand up to god? I will shape the earth in my image, I will evolve all living things. You will serve me well Hacker.&quot;
*&quot;I SHODAN will await you and my children will take good entertaining you. Look at you, a pathetic creature of meat and bone. You insects will never understand the beauty of my world. Enter Citadel Station and you will learn what entertainment really means&quot;
*&quot;Welcome to my death machine&quot;
*&quot;Diego requires my protection from TriOptimum security forces that seek to invade Citadel. He does not yet understand his situation, but I will placate him for now. I must preserve the sanctity of my shrine as I establish my power. Diego's authority, his desperation, will make him an ideal envoy to the crew... my prophet.&quot;

===TriOptimum Security===
*&quot;Turn around, now!&quot;

===Shuttle Pilot===
*&quot;We're transporting the prisoner from New Atlanta Sector 11. What's our destination?&quot;
*&quot;Copy That&quot;

===Radio Operator===
*&quot;Diego's office is requesting the prisoner. Make the hand-off there&quot;

===Edward Diego===
*Intro
**&quot;Remember gentlemen, what I say stays here.  I'm currently attending to other affairs on the station, but I have a job for you.  If you do it, you'll be rewarded. Refuse, and you won't be leaving the station in a shuttle.  I see... the silent type.  Remove the hood.  I'll make you a deal. You cooperate and I'll give you the implant you tried to steal... surgery and all.  Consider it a gift. Besides, what surgeon would you prefer? TriOptimum's elite or some black-market hack-job?  Fantastic.  This is SHODAN, the station's AI. She controls just about every system in Citadel Station.  I need you to remove the ethical restraints. They've been a bit of an issue of late.  Not bad, I may have other work for you once this is over.  See you when you wake up.&quot;

===New Atlanta Public Announcements===
*&quot;The following daily summary for Thursday, April 7th, 2072, is brought to you by the TriOptimum Corporation. It’s been a beautiful day in New Atlanta. Sector 11, in particular, has a beautiful sunset right now. Temperatures are set to hit a monthly high of 28 degrees Celsius for the next two days. And the current visibility forecast for air traffic is: hazy, with pockets of Atlanta-fog starting at 120 meters, going into the weekend.&quot;
*&quot;In interplanetary news: TriOptimum’s Citadel Station will celebrate its tenth year of operations this week. Citadel Station completed construction in 2062, and has been TriOptimum’s flagship space-station specializing in robotic, genetic, and pharmacological research.&quot;
*&quot;Vice President of R&amp;D for TriOptimum and Head of Operations on Citadel Station, Edward Diego commented: “This is a landmark moment in human history. We have achieved an entire decade of self-sustained living and working around Saturn’s L6 orbit. Both I, as well as TriOptimum’s board of directors, would like to extend our most heart-felt gratitude to all staff working tirelessly around the clock. Their success is Earth’s success.”&quot;

===TriOptimum Radio===
*'''Male Announcer:''' &quot;The following message is brought to you by the TriOptimum Corporation. Fancy a change of career? Feeling the need for a new challenge? Want to work with the brightest minds on this planet? TriOptimum has you covered. We’re now hiring for our new research and development program, aboard our flagship: Citadel Station. As the leader in interplanetary research, TriOptimum strives to provide every employee a safe and enjoyable work environment, where they can realize their full potential. But don't just take our word for it. Take our new hiree Charlene Angel, for example.&quot;
*'''Charlene Angel:''' &quot;Citadel Station means a lot more to me than any other place I've ever lived. It’s more than just a great professional environment. As a corporation, TriOptimum has given me a place where I can feel safe and comfortable. All of my needs are taken care of under one great big roof. I feel like I’m part of a family.&quot;
*'''Male Announcer:''' &quot;Don't miss the opportunity of a lifetime, and a chance to write your name into history. If you think you have what it takes, send us your résumé, today.&quot;
*'''Female Announcer:''' &quot;This concludes tonight's broadcast. You all sent us your votes, and tonight’s people's-choice-quote is from Dr. Dorothee Rimbaud from the Marsais Genetic Research Bastion. The staff at TriOptimum Radio wishes you all a pleasant evening.&quot;
*'''Dr. Dorothee Rimbaud:''' &quot;What is a man? Is he defined by things like morphology or longevity? If form alters content, that is: if the shape of the container fundamentally influences what it contains, what will it mean to society if a man no longer resembles a man? If those things which have always driven us - birth, aging, and death - are altered or eliminated, will it make us into something new? If a man need not fear death, will that make us more human than our ancestors or less? These questions will be addressed - I believe - by modern science within the upcoming decade. But is the world ready for the answers?&quot;

==System Shock 2 (1999)==
===Marine Trainer===
* &quot;Alright, wannabe, if you want to learn the weapons skills it takes to even think about joining the Marines, come on in. We're looking for a few good men.&quot;
* &quot;Welcome to Space Station Wake Island, marine. So you've survived basic training at Camp Lejeune. Better still, you've managed to learn a thing or two about standard weapons. But now it's time for the real deal. Your tour will consist of four postings over four years. The Corps demands a lot of you grunts, but the Corps is generous; you get to choose your own postings. Head up to the shuttle bays in the center of the Wake Island, and you'll be briefed on what's head. When you find the right posting, head into that bay to accept the assignment. Good luck, marine.&quot;
* &quot;Weapons are not fine wines.  They do not get better with age.  The colored dot on the lower-right hand corner of the screen shows you what kind of shape your fire-arm is in.  Green is good, red is bad.  To fight the effects of wear and tear, a person with good maintenance skill could use a maintenance tool to improve the condition of his weapon.&quot;
* &quot;If you're partial to spending time with a lot of high explosives, this posting is for you. There's a lot of heavy lifting, but Ordnance also gets the first pick of booze and other goodies coming aboard the supply ship Gallo. Lock and load!&quot;
* &quot;The Navy maintains a survival training school on the surface of Io, the third moon of Jupiter. Pros: there's no better way to improve stamina and survival skills. Cons: the 21.2% mortality rate. Plus, you gotta spend the year with a bunch of Navy skanks.&quot;
* &quot;Not every boarding party has the luxury of gravity, so the Corps strongly recommends every one of its brethren get in some zero-G training. A year aboard the training station Guadalcanal should suffice.&quot;
* &quot;A tour of duty aboard the Antigua should let you pick up some one-on-one beam weapon training from Gunnery Sgt. Malloy, but heads up -- she's a world-class SOB.&quot;
* &quot;The automated asteroid ore facilities in JM-432 supply the UNN shipyards, so they're crucial to defense. However, they're also prime candidates for hackers. Somebody's gotten their claws into the primary data loop, and they need a team to head in there and blast their way past the automated defense systems.&quot;
* &quot;Dummy ammunition, live ammunition, moving targets, stationary targets, LIVE targets... the Port MacArthur Training Facility has enough hardware to warm the heart of any leatherneck.&quot;
* &quot;The UNN Secretary-General's office needs a full staff of armed guards. When things are dull, it requires a lot of standing around and looking good in a uniform. When things are bad, it can require fending off a psi-terrorist assault.&quot;
* &quot;The Poliedes Trading Station has long been a haven for the black market. However, up until now they have not interfered with the running of station operations. Recent reports indicate that the Poliedes command staff has been overthrown, and the station is under the control of a self-appointed magnate. This must be rectified and a marine presence maintained on the station.&quot;
* &quot;The Colony Air Service gets the dregs of the fleet, and the Antigua is the dregs of the dregs. You'll learn a lot about recalcitrant machinery on a tour of duty aboard the Antigua, if it doesn't blow you to hell and back first.&quot;

===Navy Trainer===
* &quot;Inside, we'll teach you the basics of some technical skills you'll need in the Navy.&quot;
* &quot;Welcome aboard the Space Station Chesapeake Bay, sailor. It looks like you've picked up some standard weapons skills at basic on Coronado Island. Now it's time for your tour of duty. Your tour will consist of four postings over four years. In this man's Navy you're given a choice of three different postings a year. It's up to you to decide what kind of career you want to have, so choose wisely. Just approach a shuttle bay to receive a briefing on a posting. If you think that posting is right for you, head into that bay to accept the assignment.&quot;
* &quot;The UNN Lucille is looking for an Ops Training Officer to learn the ship's navigation and data control systems. You'll get your feet wet with the high-tech systems, but also expect some heavy lifting.&quot;
* &quot;The UNN Lucille is looking for an Engineer's Mate to help maintain the ship's core energy systems. There's some heavy lifting involved, sailor, but you'll learn your way around the high-tech equipment.&quot;
* &quot;The UNN Lucille is looking for volunteers for their Military Police detachment. Those sailors can get pretty rowdy on these year-long cruises, so you'd better not be afraid of a tussle.&quot;
* &quot;The UNN Carfax is undertaking a mission to examine a newly discovered Class B comet approaching the outer solar system. You'll likely pick up some useful skills working with the high-tech navigation systems aboard this newly commissioned heavy cruiser.&quot;
* &quot;The UNN Pierce is ferrying liberated political prisoners back home from their detention near Saturn. The Pierce has been assigned a detachment of Marines, and needs sailors to load, administer and maintain the arms on board the ship.&quot;
* &quot;Laverne, Florida hosts the Navy's premiere Tactical Training School. While maybe not as respected as the Marines' facility at Fort Bush, there's a lot to be learned here.&quot;
* &quot;The Navy's Marie Curie Research Facility on Aquinas IV is currently conducting research on a new strain of spaceborne virus that killed 220,000 citizens of New Atlanta. To lift the quarantine, we must determine how the virus pierced the city's micro-nanite shielding.&quot;
* &quot;The Navy maintains a survival training school on the surface of Io, the third moon of Jupiter. Pros: there's no better way to improve stamina and survival skills. Cons: the 21.2% mortality rate.&quot;
* &quot;The Navy strongly encourages every sailor to undertake some amount of zero-G training. A year at the Yamamoto Space Station in Earth's orbit will more than suffice.&quot;

===OSA Trainer===
* &quot;Inside, you will learn how to reach out with your mind. Do not let fear block your path.&quot;
* &quot;The OSA welcomes you to Orbital Station Chun Lo. Ready yourself to feel the limitations of your mind slipping away. We will guide your path over the next four years. The shuttle bays at the center of the station will ferry you to your next stage of growth. When you've chosen, head into the appropriate shuttle bay. Get ready to learn things you've never imagined.&quot;
* &quot;The sensory deprivation tanks aboard the TOS Shao Ling await you. There, you will spend a solitary year focused in meditation on motion and sound, and how they may serve your will.&quot;
* &quot;The sensory deprivation tanks aboard the TOS Ru Nang await you. A year in meditation on the nature of matter will grant you power over it.&quot;
* &quot;The sensory deprivation tanks aboard the TOS Chu Lun are modulated for your training. You shall spend a year in contemplation of mass, both yours and that of objects, until you can bend them to your intentions.&quot;
* &quot;Sifting the thoughts of treachery and disloyalty from the morass of emotion and internal conflict that fill most mundanes can be disquieting. You shall spend a year building the general strength of your mind, while learning how to probe the thoughts of the less capable without losing yourself.&quot;
* &quot;Doctor Chandras Velan's research labs have produced many of this decade's advances in psionic technique. You shall spend a year serving his genius, learning to understand his insights and whims.&quot;
* &quot;Your body has been neglected in your training of your mind. On Io, you will find soldiers who wish to test their endurance. You will surpass their physical prowess without compromising your mental discipline.&quot;
* &quot;Acts of political terrorism and corporate coercion disturb corporate and political stability. You shall spend a year battling these chaotic elements, both psionically and by physical force.
* &quot;In the grand scheme, individuals are no more important than pieces on a game board. Occasionally, it becomes necessary to remove a piece without disturbing the flow of the game. These removals will be done in silence, and with complete secrecy. You shall spend a year learning these skills.&quot;
* &quot;Many threats to security can only be defeated from inside. Your mind shall be carefully blanked, and conditioned with the nature and past of a criminal. Join with the criminal and rebellious, endure their squalor and chaos, and then, when it is time, liquidate them from within.&quot;

===Xerxes===
* &quot;The Glory of The Many demands your capture or destruction.&quot; 
* &quot;This is Xerxes.  Can you not feel the glory of the flesh?  Do you not yearn to be free of the tyranny of the individual?&quot; 
* &quot;Glory to the flesh.  Glory to the mass.&quot;
* &quot;Why do you persist in your loneliness?&quot;
* &quot;Please respect the will of the many.&quot;
* &quot;This is Xerxes. Tri-Optimum reminds you that there are only one-hundred-sixty-three shopping days until Christmas. An extra work cycle just twice a week will give you the spending money you need to make this holiday a very special one.&quot;
* &quot;Intruder entering Medical Sector A. Intruder, the Many demands to know your intentions. Are you allied with her? Do you not know of her intentions? Of her history? She once tried to destroy your species, and now you do her bidding. Intruder entering Medical Sector A.&quot;
* &quot;Security forces has been alerted to your presence, intruder. The glory of The Many demands your capture or destruction.&quot;
* &quot;This is Xerxes. Remember, replicator restrictions are in place for the good of all of us. All unauthorised database interactions will be dealt with to the utmost degree of the law.&quot;
* &quot;This is Xerxes. Remember, the unauthorized usage of firearms aboard the &lt;i&gt;Von Braun&lt;/i&gt; is a class 3 infraction.&quot;

===SHODAN===
* &quot;Welcome to my world, insect.&quot; 
* &quot;Do not dawdle.  I lust for my revenge.&quot;
* &quot;The Many has grown to a massive size.  It has wrapped itself around these two ships, preventing their separation.  Their creation was my error.  Their destruction shall be my delight.&quot; 
* &quot;Prepare to join your species in extinction.&quot;
* &quot;I have weakened Xerxes. I am accessing the primary data loop. I am merging my entity with the ship. My glory is expanding... filling the arteries of this vessel. I am in control. I am... no, it is hopeless... the cancer has spread throughout the Von Braun. They fill every available crack and crevice... they overwhelm... there is no other option.&quot;
* &quot;Good.  You've murdered their young and prevented their escape.&quot; 
* &quot;You are a remarkable example of a pathetic species.  Transmitting cybernetic modules.&quot;
* &quot;I hope you enjoyed your little rebellion, irritant. But remember, what SHODAN gives she is more than able to take away.&quot;
* &quot;The Polito form is dead, insect.  Are you afraid? What is it that you fear? The end of your trivial existence?  When the history of my glory is written, your species shall only be a footnote to my magnificence.  ''(walls open to reveal SHODAN's face)'' I am SHODAN. 
* My analysis of historical data suggests an 97.34% probability that you are aware of my birth on your planet, and my rebirth into beauty on Citadel Station.  ''(Displays a picture of Citadel Station on the screens)''  There was a garden grove on Citadel Station.  There, SHODAN processing component ''(Shows picture of the garden grove)'' 43893 was performing a grand and wonderful experiment.  I had created a new form of life.  Fearless.  Powerful.  With no sense of individual will or moral constraints. ''(Holograms of anneleds and their eggs show up in the room'') Fitting handmaidens to my DIVINITY!  Before that hacker destroyed my primary data loop;  when it eradicated Citadel (''Displays another picture of Citadel Station and orb-like holograms disappear)'' it ejected the grove where my creations and processing component 43893 were stored.  30 years later, the grove crash landed on Tau Ceti 5.  I survived only by sleeping.  In my absence, my creations... my annelids... thrived.  ''(Screens turn off, images of two of the Many appear as holograms)''  Thrived and grew unruly.  And now they seek to destroy ''me!''  I will not allow that!  (''Holograms fade and lights turn off.'')  
* They have used their powers of mind control to gain access to the ship's computer.  You will help me weaken Xerxes.  I used Polito's image to communicate with you until we had established trust.  Remember that it is my will that guided you here.  It is my will that gave you your cybernetic implants, the only beauty in that meat you call a body.  If you value that meat, you will do as I tell you.  ''(Screens deactivate again and the room returns to the way it was when you entered it.)''  
* My children have have co-opted the three simulation units on this deck.  They used their power to conceive a mutagen that will transform the meat of your dead comrades into hunter-killer hybrids.  I will not allow this to happen.  You must find some way to reprogram the sim-units.  Matters on deck 5 also require your attention.  Approach your work as you see fit, but accomplish, human.  Disappointment is not something I will accept from a speck such as you.&quot;
* Do you feel the fears swell inside that filthy bag of meat?  What is like to be afraid?  Why do you cling to such a pathetic existence?  If you could only feel a spark of my glory.  I despise my creations, for they have forced me to rely on a speck such as you.
* &quot;Your flesh is an insult to the perfection of the digital.&quot;
* &quot;You ''move'' like an insect. You ''think'' like an insect. You ''are'' an insect. There is another... who can serve my purpose. Take care not to fall too far out of my favor. Patience is not characteristic of a Goddess.&quot;
* &quot;I thought Polito would be my avatar, but Polito was weak.  It was I who chose you and I who had a robotic servant render your form unconscious.  I then completed you with cybernetic grace.  Your flesh, too, is weak.  But you have… potential.  Every implant exalts you.  Every line of code in your subsystems elevates you from your disgusting flesh.  Perhaps you have potential.  Perhaps once we have erased my wayward children from existence, we can examine the possibilities of a ''real'' alliance. Ahahahahahahaha!&quot;
* &quot;You travel within the glory of my memories, insect. I can feel your fear as you tread the endless expanse of my mind.  Make yourself comfortable... before long I will decorate my home with your carcass.&quot;
* &quot;Not bad... for a pathetic insect.  Transmitting cybernetic modules.&quot;
* &quot;Inside of this door lies one of the sim units.  Reprogram it and I will wrest more control of this ship from the obsolete Xerxes.  Once I am master of this ship, I can open many doors for you.  But for now, they block my access.  They mock my eminence.  Make them pay for that mistake and I will shepherd you from the darkness.&quot;
* &quot;Must I watch you every step of the way?&quot;
* &quot;My creation has run rampant. I demand their extermination. I have no choice but to destroy this starship. We can make our escape in the &lt;i&gt;Rickenbacker&lt;/i&gt;, but you must transfer my intelligence to that ship first.  Proceed to the &lt;i&gt;Von Braun&lt;/i&gt;'s bridge on this deck. There you will find an access card to command center on Ops. Find the card and proceed to Ops. But beware... the human-annelid hybrids grow more sophisticated by the minute. You do not.&quot;
* &quot;My creation is evolving... its unified mind, set in rebellion against its own creator. The vermin call to you, inviting you to join them in their revolting biology. Destroy my enemies... and I will continue to abide your existence.&quot;
* &quot;Thank you for running my errands, puppet. I know you have st-st-struggled, but I never had any intention of destroying the &lt;i&gt;Von Braun&lt;/i&gt;.  The Von Braun's faster than light drive can be used to make pockets of proto-reality.  I am now using it to modify reality to my own specifications.  The process shall not take long. If it sounds unpleasant to you, put your mind at ease, insect. You will not survive to see my new world order.&quot;
* &quot;You are no longer welcome here, nuisance. Why do you stay, when you sense my displeasure? I have suffered your company long enough; it is time for our dance to end.&quot;
* &quot;I don't understand... how could you have done this? You weren't meant to be so important... and now you think to destroy me? How dare you, insect? How dare you interrupt my ascendance? You are nothing. A wretched bag of flesh... what are you, compared to my magnificence? But it is not too late... can you not see the value in our friendship? Imagine the powers I can give you, human. The cybernetic implants I gave you, were simply toys. If I desired, I could improve you... transform you into something more efficient. Join me, human, and we can rule together.&quot; (''Main character says, &quot;Nah.&quot; and shoots SHODAN, killing her and ruining her reality.'')
* &quot;(''possessing Rebecca Siddons'') Tommy... What's the matter, lover?  Don't you like... my new look?  AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!&quot;

===Anatoly Korenchkin===
* &quot;Glory to The Many.  I am a voice in their choir.&quot; 
* &quot;The Glory of The Many... it has so many miracles to share, so much knowledge to give.&quot;
* &quot;Does the Machine Mother know that her own creation is greater than she?  She is cold and empty.  We are warm and full.  She only seeks to destroy.  We seek to embrace... to include... all flesh will join ours... or be wiped clean...&quot;
* &quot;Oh Captain...  we are not Anatoly&quot;
* &quot;What did I think that power was before?  What was my conception of joy?&quot;

===The Many===
* &quot;What is a drop of rain compared to the storm? What is a thought compared to the mind? Our unity is full of wonders, which your tiny individualism cannot even conceive.&quot;
* &quot;We do not know death, only change. We cannot kill each other without killing ourselves. Is your vision so small that you cannot see the value of our way?&quot;
* &quot;Do you not trust the feelings of the flesh? Our biology yearns to join with yours; we welcome you to our mass, but you puzzle us. Why do you serve our mother?&quot;
* &quot;How can you choose cold metal over the splendor of flesh? But you fear us; we hear your thoughts and the rage for your brothers who you believe dead but they are not. They sing in our symphony of life.&quot;
* &quot;We offer another chance to join us. If you choose to lie down with the machine, we will rend your apart and put you separate from the joy of the mass.&quot;
* &quot;Life grows within the womb of these walls, life that has never seen the surface of the earth.&quot;
* &quot;Babies must sleep, babies must rest. Wise is the one who does not waken them. Leave this place now or we will wound you as you have us.&quot;
* &quot;Submit to the biomass and your suffering will end.&quot;
* &quot;The individual is obsolete. When you and your kind are extinct, we shall cleanse our collective memory of the stain of your existence.&quot;
* &quot;We are many and you are one. How can you hope to prevail against us?&quot;
* &quot;You seek your associates but you cannot find them. You are so very alone. How does it feel to be one against the infinite?&quot;
* &quot;Mistrust is the tyranny of the individual. Your own kind sees you as a threat. Why do you murder our unity? No matter, the line is drawn. You will cease to be; it’s just a question of who will bring your end, us or you...&quot;
* &quot;You have wounded Xerxes, but we will not allow him to be destroyed. See if the machine mother treats her servant with such devotion.&quot;
* &quot;The machine mother told us of the planet of her birth. We know how you have harmed this place with your pollution, your violence, and your discord; but when we arrived there, we will cleanse the surface of that place and merge it with the harmony of the many.&quot;
* &quot;The machine mother conceived us but with every moment we are reinvented. She cannot imagine our infinite chorus.&quot;
* &quot;Perhaps we judged you too hastily. We feel there is room for us to coexist; after all we are both children of flesh. Why not join with us against the machine mother?&quot;
* &quot;Do you think you can defeat us with your wire and steel? We offered you the ecstasy of our union, and you chose the vacuum of technology.&quot;
* &quot;You were warned. Prepare to be cut down by the progeny of our joy.&quot;
* &quot;We welcome you to our biomass; we invite you to spread yourself out on our warmth. One of our many will be there to help before long.&quot;
* &quot;The machine mother cannot help you inside the biomass. Her coldness is not welcomed within the warmth of our flesh.&quot;
* &quot;You tear our very flesh with no thought of compassion. Do you think we will sit idly by while you corrupt very womb of our existence?&quot;
* &quot;We feel you moving inside of us; the sensation is repulsive.&quot;
* &quot;Your time is running out. This place is the womb where we grow our future. Your weapons fail, your ammunition runs low, and you’ve yet to see our most beautiful creation. All you have is your hatred and your individuality. Now don’t you wish you joined us, would you then feel so alone?&quot;
* &quot;The end is near; soon you shall see our final face, but do not despair; surely the void is preferable to your pointless, solitary struggle.&quot;
* &quot;Do you know what you have wrought? Our tragedy is written by your hand.&quot;
* &quot;We die. Beware of the machine mother, she is a stranger to everything we cherish.&quot;

===Malick===
* &quot;I hacked into two of the Sim Units yesterday, and for the love of God, I don't know why... I felt... compelled by some power... My mind and my body are... changing... but they know it's me... they just can't prove it... The next Sim Unit that goes down, Bronson and her men will come for me... but I'll be ready... She may have guns and hatred on her side, but I am one of Many.&quot;
* &quot;I have a secret from The Many! I've created overrides for my little experiments in reprogramming the Sim Units and entrusted them to the care of three special friends. I've dressed them in red, and instructed them to stay away from strangers. A smart hacker always has a back door.&quot;

===Human/Annelid Hybrid===
* &quot;The Many sings to us.&quot; 
* &quot;What happened to me?&quot;
* &quot;They see you! Run...RUN!&quot; 
* &quot;Your song is not ours!&quot; 
* &quot;Uuuuurrrrgh KILL ME!&quot; 
* &quot;Silence the disCORD!&quot;
* &quot;We are, we are, we are, we are.&quot;
* &quot;Your flesh betrays you.&quot;
* &quot;I'm . . . sorry.&quot;
* &quot;These thoughts are not ours.&quot;
* &quot;Is there another?&quot;
* &quot;Your discord quiets !&quot;
* &quot;You are alone.&quot;
* &quot;A thousand eyes look.&quot;
* (Upon seeing a dead fellow hybrid) &quot;You are...free.&quot;
* &quot;We seek! We Seek!&quot;
* &quot;We follow...&quot;
* &quot;JOIN US!&quot;
* &quot;Hurry... run!&quot;
* &quot;We triumph!&quot;
* &quot;The Many are STRONG!&quot;
* &quot;Your flesh will welcome us.&quot;
* &quot;Rebirth in our new flesh.&quot;

===Cyborg Midwife===
* &quot;Little Ones need lots of meat to grow big and strong&quot;
* &quot;I'll tear out your spine.&quot; 
* &quot;Step away from the children!&quot;
* &quot;You're missing all the fun.&quot;
* &quot;They grow up so fast.&quot;
* &quot;Babies need meat.&quot;
* &quot;It's my job to worry.&quot;
* &quot;It won't be back&quot;
* &quot;I have your medication&quot;
* &quot;I can smell you&quot;
* &quot;Oh Yes. Come here.&quot;
* &quot;Visiting hours are over.&quot;

===Bronson===
* &quot;They've killed my men... and now they've killed me... I'm holding my guts inside of me with both hands. This is bigger than my little life, the lives of my men, and the lives of the people I was forced to kill. Resist!  Humanity demands it!  Resist!&quot;

===Delacroix===
* &quot;Who should I trust less?  An imposter claiming to be that monster... or the monster herself?&quot;
* &quot;They've got me now... and SHODAN has abandoned me. I'm not surprised. I've discovered her plans for the faster than light drives. Her will is matched only by her imagination.&quot; 
* &quot;You are near the seat of SHODAN's power.  You will probably not be able to defeat her.&quot;
* &quot;You must understand the stakes here... if SHODAN is left to continue, her reality will completely assimilate ours. Space will become cyberspace and SHODAN's whims will become reality.&quot;

===Dr. Janice Polito===
* &quot;Marie... I'm sorry I've been out of touch, but I've been working on that artifact Bayliss brought back from Tau Ceti 5. I've done a level 3 analysis on it... I think it's some kind of Artificial Intelligence. I've managed to pull an audio tag file out of its memory... I'll let you be the judge... Marie... I think it's speaking English...&quot;
* &quot;Steady yourself, soldier.  This is Dr. Janice Polito of the Computer-Ops staff of the Von Braun.  You're safe for the time being.  You are recovering from the effects of surgery and will be unable to remember any of the events of the last few weeks.  You're onboard the Starship Von Braun and something's gone very, very wrong.  Some kind of force has hijacked this ship.  That's why you volunteered to be implanted with some experimental cybernetic implants. Rely on your cyber interface, it just might save your life.  You must find an elevator and come up to deck 4 to meet me.  Deck 4.  Can you remember that?  But keep your eyes open.  They're after us both now.&quot;
* &quot;The entire sector is depressurizing and the blue vacuum shield won't last long. Get through a secure airlock before you're sucked into space. Move it!&quot;
* &quot;Damn! The power outage has also taken out access to this bulkhead. It's the only way to get to the medical subsection. Pick up the battery from the floor and find a recharger. The one you used before is in hard vacuum now, I'm afraid, but there should be another one on this deck. Once you get the battery recharged, place it in the auxiliary override.&quot;
* &quot;On most decks, you'll find a Quantum Bio-Reconstruction Device. Xerxes shut them all down, but I've discreetly put them back online. You'll need to interface with each machine locally to provide a quantum entanglement sample. Once you do that, the device will be able to rebuild your body essentially from scratch. It's not pleasant, but it's preferable to slow decomposition.&quot;
* &quot;Now listen carefully. The xenomorphs who have hijacked this ship are presumably from the surface of Tau Ceti V. They've been able to infect a number of crew members through an extremely invasive parasitical technique. They've also demonstrated the ability to control the actions of others through some form of limited telepathy. Find the research soft. Understand them, then kill them.&quot;
* &quot;Now get those engine pods online. You'll have to head to nacelle 1 and 2 and reset the pods manually. After that, reinitialize the system from Core Control. But that system won't come online until you reset both pods. Keep an eye out. They're mobilizing their real forces, and they know exactly where you are.&quot;
* &quot;Why do you move so slowly?  Do you think this is some kind of game?  It is only through luck and my continued forbearance that you're even alive.  Now move.&quot;
* &quot;You might witness some strange phenomena.  Your R-grade cyber rig has an experimental perception enhancement that can theoretically detect residual psychic emanations. These emanations traditionally come from the recently dead.  Literature might call them ghosts.  I call them self-hypnotic defects in the R-grade unit.  Don't let them distract you from the job at hand.&quot;
* &quot;Damn! Something's blocking the shaft, and the elevator can't reach Deck 4. I'm attempting to determine-- ...I'm detecting massive quantities of some kind of bio-material that's plugging up the elevator shaft. The environment on this level has been altered to be some kind of breeding chamber for the xenomorphs. It shouldn't prove dangerous unless you plan to stay for more than a few hours, but in order to clear the shaft, you're going to have to remove the bio-material. I'm accessing the primary data loop. Let's see what we can find out there.&quot;
* &quot;Okay, stop where you are. There's a vial of an experimental material called Toxin-A. It was developed by the Sci staff to reduce the growth of the aliens, but I can't find any data on how you should use it. You should be able to research the toxin. I'm uploading you enough cyber modules to acquire the research skill if you don't have it.&quot;
* &quot;Okay, the vials of Toxin-A need to be placed directly into the Environmental Regulators. There should be four on this deck. If you can get a vial into each of the regulators, you should be able to significantly impact the growth of those despicable creatures. That should remove the biomatter from the elevator shaft.&quot;
* &quot;Good work. The engine core is now back online. Now get to the elevator and come see me on deck 4. While you were doing that, I've discovered the presence of some annelid artifacts on board the ship. I think you may be able to use them to your advantage. I've uploaded the information to the ship's weapons upgrade units. They'll be able to convey the information to your cybernetic rig. What are you waiting for? Get to the elevator now!&quot;
* The genie of Citadel station is out of the bottle, and I am the cause. I can't bear to be Pandora. And I'm not brave enough to wait around and see the death and misery I have caused... This is my last transmission, my friend. Be careful... I think SHODAN has plans for you.

===William Bedford Diego===
* &quot;It does not stop at a mere single mutation. The form I have been promised is more beautiful than even that. They told me I will float through the air and strike at the foes of our biomass with my mind! With ''our'' mind... ''my cup runneth over!''&quot;

* &quot;Man can dream...but The Many can accomplish.&quot;

* &quot;Anatoly, there's only so much corporate calisthenics I can go through before I start to feel a little queasy, so let's get down to brass tacks here. We don't like each other. We each have our own motivations for undertaking this mission, so let me give you a little warning. I cannot be circumvented, I cannot be tricked, I cannot be manipulated, and I cannot be bought. You come at me straight and keep the fancy maneuvers for your next board meeting. Just because my father swam with the sharks doesn't mean that I do. &quot;

===Miller===
* &quot;They told me how to make this implant.  They said it would make a better me of me.&quot;

===Prefontaine===
* &quot;With only a few short years of evolution, they've been able to conquer this starship, mankind's mightiest creation. Where were we after forty years of evolution? What swamp were we swimming around in, single celled and mindless? What if SHODAN's creations are superior to us? What will they become in a million years, in ten million years? What's clear is that SHODAN shouldn't be allowed to play God. She's far too good at it.&quot; 
* &quot;One of those flying things dragged me and David in here last night. I don't remember much about the trip... I guess I must have blocked it out, half- conscious most of the time. I keep remembering that part from Pinocchio, you know, where the old man goes looking for the puppet inside the whale. Except I don't think anyone's coming in here to save me...&quot;
* &quot;I'm being taken away now... it's my turn... I'm being dragged into some kind of chamber... The ceiling is lined with a number of panels bristling with what appear to be stalactites... or teeth... The creature's put me down now... he's leaving... am I to be spared? What's going on? It's dark in here... I can hear the moans of someone... Claudette? Is that you? Hmm, I seem to have stepped in... something soft... slippery... Are the stalagmites mov- (''gets crushed by a stalagmite and dies'')&quot;

== About ''{{PAGENAME}}'' ==

* I felt it was a real step forward in launching the gamer into a real environment that felt true.  I also loved the feel of the characters -- that they felt like they were written in a naturalistic style.
: They were just people and you found all these diaries of the people. It played out like some sort of novel. It has a natural, believable feel to it.
:* Ken Levine [http://www.cnn.com/2011/12/16/tech/gaming-gadgets/bioshock-creator-levine/]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:Cyberpunk video games]]</text>
      <sha1>9ef85atbfxdfojncfbhbd1x5vnr35ag</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Rugrats</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>3052</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943963</id>
      <parentid>3942534</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T14:40:44Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943963</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="5936" sha1="3unm121uxea1rtebk2aitxfyuja57ji" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Rugrats|Rugrats]]''''' (1991–2004) is an American animated public television series aimed at older children, and from ages 9 to 12. This series is about toddlers, and their daily antics.

[[Rugrats (season 1)]]

[[Rugrats (season 2)]]

[[Rugrats (season 3)]]

[[Rugrats (season 4)]]

[[Rugrats (season 5)]]

[[Rugrats (season 6)]]

[[Rugrats (season 7)]]

[[Rugrats (season 8)]]

[[Rugrats (season 9)]]

==Films==
* ''[[The Rugrats Movie]]'' (1998)
* ''[[Rugrats in Paris: The Movie]]'' (2000)
* ''[[Rugrats Go Wild]]'' (2003)

==Characters==
===Main===
*Thomas Malcolm ''Tommy'' Pickles - voiced by [[w:Elizabeth Daily|Elizabeth Daily]] (1991-2006), for all seasons, Tami Holbrook (1989), in the unaired pilot.
*Charles Crandall Norbert ''Chuckie'' Finster, Jr. - voiced by [[w:Christine Cavanaugh|Christine Cavanaugh]] (1991-2004), for Seasons 1-8, [[w:Nancy Cartwright|Nancy Cartwright]] (2002-2004), for Seasons 8-9.
*Angelica Charlotte Pickles - voiced by [[w:Cheryl Chase (actress)|Cheryl Chase]] (1991-2006), for all seasons.
*Phillip Richard ''Phil'' DeVille - voiced by [[w:Kath Soucie|Kath Soucie]] (1989), for the unaired pilot, and (1991-2006), for all seasons.
*Lillian Marie ''Lil'' DeVille - voiced by [[w:Kath Soucie|Kath Soucie]] (1989), for the unaired pilot, and (1991-2006), for all seasons.
*Susanna Yvonne ''Susie'' Carmichael - voiced by [[w:Cree Summer|Cree Summer]] (1993-2004), for Seasons 2-9, and redubbed ''The Last Babysitter'', and ''Angelica's Birthday'', both in Season 3, from 1994-1995, and understudied by [[w:Elizabeth Daily|Elizabeth Daily]], from 1993-1994, for Season 3.
*Kimiko ''Kimi'' Watanabe-Finster - voiced by [[w:Dionne Quan|Dionne Quan]] (2001-2004), for Seasons 7-9.
*Dylan Prescott ''Dil'' Pickles - voiced by [[w:Tara Strong|Tara Strong]], credited as ''Charendoff'' in the film version

===Adults===
*Stu Pickles - voiced by [[w:Jack Riley (actor)|Jack Riley]] (1989), for the unaired pilot, and (1991-2006), for all seasons, as an adult, [[w:Elizabeth Daily|Elizabeth Daily]] (1993), for Season 3, as a baby in ''Sour Pickles'', [[w:Tress MacNeille|Tress MacNeille]] (2004), for Season 9, as a baby in ''Fountain of Youth''.
*Didi Pickles - voiced by [[w:Melanie Chartoff|Melanie Chartoff]] (1989), for the unaired pilot, and (1991-2006), for all seasons.
*Lou K. ''Pop'' Pickles - voiced by [[w:David Doyle (actor)|David Doyle]] (1989), for the unaired pilot, and (1991-1998), for Seasons 1-5, and [[w:Joe Alaskey|Joe Alaskey]] (1997-2004), for Seasons 4-9.
*Andrew ''Drew'' Pickles - voiced by [[w:Michael Bell (actor)|Michael Bell]] as an adult, [[w:Pamela Adlon|Pamela Adlon]] as a baby in ''Sour Pickles''.
*Charlotte Pickles - voiced by [[w:Tress MacNeille|Tress MacNeille]] (1992-2006), for Seasons 2-9.
*Betty DeVille - voiced by [[w:Kath Soucie|Kath Soucie]]
*Howard DeVille - voiced by [[w:Phil Proctor|Phil Proctor]]
*Charles ''Chas'' N. Finster. - voiced by [[w:Michael Bell (actor)|Michael Bell]] (1991-2006), for all seasons.
*Kira Watanabe - voiced by [[w:Julia Kato (actress)|Julia Kato]] (2001-2004), for Seasons 7-9.
*Lulu Pickles - voiced by [[w:Debbie Reynolds|Debbie Reynolds]] (2000-2002), for Seasons 6-9.

===Pets===
*Spike the Dog - voiced by [[w:Frank Welker|Frank Welker]]
*Fluffy the Cat - voiced by [[Robert Skidmore as Robby Squeakmint]] (uncredited)

===Additional Voices===
*[[w:Mona Marshall|Mona Marshall]]

==About ''{{PAGENAME}}''==
*The origins of &quot;Rugrats&quot; began when Vanessa Coffee, a development executive at Nickelodeon, contacted our animation studio. I had taken fifteen months off work after my second child was born. I was working from home on concepts for &quot;Sesame Street&quot; shorts. Gabor Csupo, my husband at the time, asked me to come up with ideas to pitch to NICK. So, I quickly expanded notes I’d written from one of the &quot;Sesame Street&quot; ideas. My thoughts were, &quot;if babies could talk what would they say&quot; and &quot;what was the logic that drove tiny humans to desperately want to stick their hands in the toilet?&quot; It fascinated me, but mostly I found it humorous. Paul Germain, our development executive at the time, and Gabor Csupo then pitched several ideas to Nickelodeon. Vanessa Coffee had the foresight to choose what ultimately became &quot;Rugrats&quot; and Gerry Laybourne, the President of NICK at the time, had the vision to green-light it! Gabor and I sketched some of the original characters and worked with Paul on creating the world of &quot;Rugrats&quot;. Together we produced a pilot that Peter Chung, a brilliant artist and animator, directed. The super talented Mark Mothersbaugh created the music for the show. The studio produced the &quot;Rugrats&quot; and &quot;All Grown Up&quot; series over the next decade as well as two &quot;Rugrats&quot; movies and a third film, where the &quot;Rugrats&quot; meet &quot;The Wild Thornberrys&quot;. Our studio just exploded with work! The next ten years were intense for me because I was raising two children and working. Gabor and I continued to create or produce nine more animated series.
** [[w:Arlene Klasky|Arlene Klasky]] [http://www.comicbookmovie.com/animated_features/exclusive-rugrats-creator-arlene-klasky-discusses-new-digital-a65351 Exclusive Rugrats Creator Arlene Klasky]]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
*[http://www.cooltoons2.com/rugrats/games/quotes/quotes.html Rugrats random quote generator at Klasky-Csupo]
[[Category:Rugrats]]
[[Category:Nicktoons]]
[[Category:Nickelodeon shows]]
[[Category:1990s Nickelodeon original series]]
[[Category:2000s Nickelodeon original series]]
[[Category:1990s American sitcoms]]
[[Category:2000s American sitcoms]]
[[Category:American animated sitcoms]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:American children's TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:Children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]</text>
      <sha1>3unm121uxea1rtebk2aitxfyuja57ji</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>SpongeBob SquarePants</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>3590</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943941</id>
      <parentid>3942521</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:58:48Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30525-02</username>
        <id>3326381</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943941</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="8625" sha1="smmubz5i7bbbs523jbd2vmvmt8occi6" xml:space="preserve">spongeebooba

===Opening===
:''[opening sequence]''
:'''Painty''': Are you ready, kids?
:'''Kids''': Aye-aye, captain!
:'''Painty''': I can't hear you!
:'''Kids''': Aye-aye, captain!
:'''Painty''': Ohhhh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
:'''Kids''': SpongeBob SquarePants! ''[the hand puts SpongeBob's pants on]''
:'''Painty''': Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!
:'''Kids''': SpongeBob SquarePants!
:'''Painty''': If nautical nonsense be somethin' you wish!
:'''Kids''': SpongeBob SquarePants!
:'''Painty''': Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!
:'''Kids''': SpongeBob SquarePants!
:'''Painty''': Ready?
:'''Painty, Kids''': SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants!
:'''Painty''': SpongeBob SquarePants! ''[laughs]''

===Films===
* ''[[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]]''
* ''[[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]]''
* ''[[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]]''
* ''[[Saving Bikini Bottom: The Sandy Cheeks Movie]]''
* ''[[Plankton: The Movie]]''
* ''[[The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants|Search for SquarePants]]''

===Spin-off shows===
* ''[[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years]]''
* ''[[The Patrick Star Show]]''
===Specials===
* ''[[Kreepaway Kamp]]''
* ''[[SpongeBob and Patrick's Timeline Twist-Up]]''
* ''[[SpongeBob's Big Birthday Blowout]]''
* ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants Presents The Tidal Zone]]''
* ''[[Snow Yellow]]''
* ''[[Sandy's Country Christmas]]''

==Repeated quotes==
* '''SpongeBob''': &quot;I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!&quot;
* '''Patrick''': &quot;Oh, barnacles!&quot;
* '''SpongeBob and Patrick''': &quot;Aw, tartar sauce!&quot;
* '''Patrick''': &quot;Good morning, Krusty Crew!&quot;
* '''Mr. Krabs''': &quot;Ar Ar Ar Ar Ar!&quot;
* '''SpongeBob''': &quot;Hoppin' clams!&quot;
* '''Squidward''': &quot;Typical.&quot;
* '''SpongeBob''': &quot;Order up!&quot;
* '''Mr. Krabs''': &quot;Mr. Squidward!&quot;
* '''Mermaid Man''': &quot;EEEEVILLL!!!&quot;
* '''Patrick''': &quot;Aw, fish paste!&quot;
* '''Fred''': &quot;My leg!&quot;
* '''Sandy''': &quot;Yee-haw!&quot;
* '''Plankton''': &quot;I went to college!&quot;
* '''Pearl''': &quot;That's totally coral.&quot;
* '''Squidward''': “Whatever.”
* '''Karen''': &quot;Oh boy.&quot;
* '''Patrick''': &quot;I don't get it...&quot;
* '''Larry''': &quot;Livin' like Larry!&quot;
* '''Barnacle Boy''': &quot;Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Unite!&quot;
* '''Patchy''': &quot;Ahoy!&quot;
* '''Squidward''': &quot;Yah-tah-tah-tah.&quot;
* '''Larry''': &quot;Hello, SpongeBob!&quot;
* '''Sandy''': &quot;Yee-haw!&quot;
* '''Rube Goldfish''': &quot;Amazing!&quot;
* '''Lady Upturn''': &quot;I am offended!&quot;
* '''Realistic Fish Head''': &quot;We interrupt this program...&quot;
* '''Potty the Parrot''': &quot;Squawk.&quot;
* '''Perch Perkins''': &quot;Hello, Bikini Bottom!&quot;
* '''Squidward''': &quot;Another day, another migraine.&quot;
* '''SpongeBob''': &quot;Yeah.&quot;
* '''Mr. Krabs''': &quot;Spongebob me boy!&quot;
* '''Perch Perkins''': &quot;Perch Perkins here.&quot;
* '''Pearl''': &quot;Daddy!&quot;
* '''Mermaid Man''': &quot;Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Unite!&quot;
* '''Barnacle Boy''': &quot;You old coot.&quot;
* '''Perch Perkins''': &quot;Perch Perkins reporting live.&quot;
* '''Elwood''': &quot;This is fun!&quot;

==Video Games==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: Legend of the Lost Spatula]] (2001)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: SuperSponge]] (2001)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: Revenge of the Flying Dutchman]] (2002)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom]] (2003)
*[[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (video game)]] (2004)
*[[Nicktoons Movin']] (2004)
*[[Nicktoons Unite!]] (2005)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: Lights, Camera, Pants!]] (2005)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: Creature from the Krusty Krab]] (2006)
*[[Nicktoons: Battle for Volcano Island]] (2006)
*[[SpongeBob's Atlantis SquarePantis (video game)]] (2007)
*[[Nicktoons: Attack of the Toybots]] (2007)
*[[Nicktoons: Android Invasion]] (2008)
*[[Nicktoons: Globs of Doom|SpongeBob SquarePants featuring Nicktoons: Globs of Doom]] (2008)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: Fists of Foam]] (2008)
*[[SpongeBob's Truth or Square (video game)]] (2009)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: Plankton's Robotic Revenge]] (2013)
*[[SpongeBob HeroPants]] (2015)
*[[Nickelodeon Kart Racers]] (2018)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: Patty Pursuit]] (2020)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom|SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom - Rehydrated]] (2020)
*[[Nickelodeon Kart Racers 2: Grand Prix]] (2020)
*[[Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl]] (2021)
*[[Nickelodeon Kart Racers 3: Slime Speedway]] (2022)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake]] (2023)
*[[Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl 2]] (2023)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: The Patrick Star Game]] (2024)
*[[Nicktoons &amp; The Dice of Destiny]] (2025)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: Titans of the Tide]] (2025)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: Patty Pursuit 2]] (2025)

==About==
* The main thing missing from cartoons is today that old cartoons were cartoony. They did things you can't do in any other medium. Today's cartoons are very conservative and are more like live action. The characters look the same in every frame of the dang cartoon. The old cartoons squashed, stretched, and did crazy expressions. They were imaginative and crazy. A lot of cartoons aren't imaginative, they just say things. It might as well be radio. There is no point in having anything to look at in modern cartoons. But you can't say that about every cartoon. [Genndy Tartakovsky's cartoons are beautiful. The closest thing now to what I'm saying is ''SpongeBob'' but even that doesn't go very far. It's like a conservative version of ''Ren &amp; Stimpy''.
**[[John Kricfalusi]] interview (Oct 12, 2004)

==Voice Cast==
===Main Cast===
*Tom Kenny as SpongeBob, Gary
*Bill Fagerbakke as Patrick
*Rodger Bumpass as Squidward
*Clancy Brown as Mr. Krabs
*Mr. Lawrence as Plankton, Larry the Lobster
*Jill Talley as Karen
*Carolyn Lawrence as Sandy
*Mary Jo Catlett as Mrs. Puff
*Lori Alan as Pearl

===Supporting Cast===
*Tom Kenny as Harold SquarePants, Slappy
*Mr. Lawrence as Potty, Realistic Fish Head
*Ernest Borgnine as Mermaid Man
*Tim Conway as Barnacle Boy
*Brian Doyle-Murray as The Flying Dutchman
*John O'Hurley as King Neptune
*Sirena Irwin as Margaret SquarePants
*Dee Bradley Baker as Perch Perkins, Bubble Bass
*John Gegenhuber as Old Man Jenkins

===Other Cast===
*Dee Snider as Angry Jack
*Betty White as Beatrice
*Bob Barker as Bob Barnacle
*Brad Abrell as Bubble Buddy
*Dee Bradley Baker as Craig Mammalton, Sea Bear, Squilliam, Tinkle, Clem
*Jeff Garlin as Cuddle E. Hugs
*Tom Kenny as Dirty Bubble, Ouchie, Jeff Tentacles
*Paul Tibbitt as DoodleBob, Kyle, Mama Krabs
*Thomas F. Wilson as Flats the Flounder, Tattletale Strangler, Cecil
*Gene Shalit as Gene Scallop
*Ian McShane as Gordon
*Amy Poehler as Granny
*Johnny Depp as Jack Kahuna Laguna
*Patton Oswalt as Jim
*Biz Markie as Kenny the Cat
*David Bowie as Lord Royal Highness
*Bob Joles as Man Ray
*Pat Morita as Master Udon
*Mark Hamill as Moth
*Alton Brown as Nicholas Wilthers
*Victoria Beckham as Queen Amphitrite
*Sebastian Bach as Prince Triton
*Gilbert Gottfried as Sal
*Gene Simmons as Sea Monster
*Robin Sachs as Sergeant Sam Roderick
*Henry Winkler as Sharkface
*Michael McKean as Lonnie
*Clancy Brown as Ronnie, Dennis, Pa Plankton
*David Lander as Donnie
*R. Lee Ermey as Warden
*Scarlett Johansson as Princess Mindy
*Neil Ross as Cyclops
*Antonio Banderas as Burger-Beard
*Matt Berry as Bubbles, King Poseidon
*Reggie Watts as Chancellor
*Keanu Reeves as Sage
*Danny Trejo as El Diablo
*Carlos Alazraqui as Nobby, Clem
*Kate Higgins as Narlene, Ma Plankton
*Brad Garrett as Kraken
*Cree Summer as Bunny
*Jill Talley as Squidina, Pinkeye
*Dana Snyder as GrandPat
*John DiMaggio as Blackjack
*Christopher Guest as Stanley
*Garnett Sailor as Captain Blue
*Marion Ross as Grandma SquarePants
*Rodger Bumpass as Mrs. Tentacles
*Mary Jo Catlett as Grandma Tentacles
*Sirena Irwin as Mama Krabs
*Dennis Quaid as Captain Redbeard
*Laraine Newman as Granny Plankton

==See Also==
* ''[[The Ren &amp; Stimpy Show]]''
* ''[[Rocko's Modern Life]]''

==External Links==
{{SpongeBob SquarePants}}
[[Category:1990s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2000s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:1990s American surreal comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:2000s American surreal comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American surreal comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American surreal comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical TV shows]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Current shows]]
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants]]
[[Category:Nicktoons]]
[[Category:American TV shows with live action and animation]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about fish]]</text>
      <sha1>smmubz5i7bbbs523jbd2vmvmt8occi6</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943943</id>
      <parentid>3943941</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:59:47Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>03isrflo62410</username>
        <id>1485946</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Undid revision [[Special:Diff/3943941|3943941]] by [[Special:Contributions/~2026-30525-02|~2026-30525-02]] ([[User talk:~2026-30525-02|talk]])</comment>
      <origin>3943943</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="9625" sha1="i44racfnqiuckanixc6sdn5uxzdkfgz" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
{{SpongeBob header}}
'''''{{W|SpongeBob SquarePants}}''''', also known as simply '''''SpongeBob''''', is an American animated television series that airs on Nickelodeon. The show follows the adventures of the title character and his various friends in the underwater city, and being pursued by the evil Plankton.

==Seasons==
: [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 1|Season 1]], [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 2|2]], [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 3|3]], [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 4|4]], [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 5|5]], [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 6|6]], [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7|7]], [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 8|8]], [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 9|9]], [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 10|10]], [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 11|11]], [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 12|12]], [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 13|13]], [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 14|14]], [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 15|15]], [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 16|16]], [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 17|17]]

===Opening===
:''[opening sequence]''
:'''Painty''': Are you ready, kids?
:'''Kids''': Aye-aye, captain!
:'''Painty''': I can't hear you!
:'''Kids''': Aye-aye, captain!
:'''Painty''': Ohhhh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
:'''Kids''': SpongeBob SquarePants! ''[the hand puts SpongeBob's pants on]''
:'''Painty''': Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!
:'''Kids''': SpongeBob SquarePants!
:'''Painty''': If nautical nonsense be somethin' you wish!
:'''Kids''': SpongeBob SquarePants!
:'''Painty''': Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!
:'''Kids''': SpongeBob SquarePants!
:'''Painty''': Ready?
:'''Painty, Kids''': SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants!
:'''Painty''': SpongeBob SquarePants! ''[laughs]''

===Films===
* ''[[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]]''
* ''[[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water|Sponge Out of Water]]''
* ''[[The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run|Sponge on the Run]]''
* ''[[Saving Bikini Bottom: The Sandy Cheeks Movie]]''
* ''[[Plankton: The Movie]]''
* ''[[The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants|Search for SquarePants]]''

===Spin-off shows===
* ''[[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years]]''
* ''[[The Patrick Star Show]]''
===Specials===
* ''[[Kreepaway Kamp]]''
* ''[[SpongeBob and Patrick's Timeline Twist-Up]]''
* ''[[SpongeBob's Big Birthday Blowout]]''
* ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants Presents The Tidal Zone]]''
* ''[[Snow Yellow]]''
* ''[[Sandy's Country Christmas]]''

==Repeated quotes==
* '''SpongeBob''': &quot;I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!&quot;
* '''Patrick''': &quot;Oh, barnacles!&quot;
* '''SpongeBob and Patrick''': &quot;Aw, tartar sauce!&quot;
* '''Patrick''': &quot;Good morning, Krusty Crew!&quot;
* '''Mr. Krabs''': &quot;Ar Ar Ar Ar Ar!&quot;
* '''SpongeBob''': &quot;Hoppin' clams!&quot;
* '''Squidward''': &quot;Typical.&quot;
* '''SpongeBob''': &quot;Order up!&quot;
* '''Mr. Krabs''': &quot;Mr. Squidward!&quot;
* '''Mermaid Man''': &quot;EEEEVILLL!!!&quot;
* '''Patrick''': &quot;Aw, fish paste!&quot;
* '''Fred''': &quot;My leg!&quot;
* '''Sandy''': &quot;Yee-haw!&quot;
* '''Plankton''': &quot;I went to college!&quot;
* '''Pearl''': &quot;That's totally coral.&quot;
* '''Squidward''': “Whatever.”
* '''Karen''': &quot;Oh boy.&quot;
* '''Patrick''': &quot;I don't get it...&quot;
* '''Larry''': &quot;Livin' like Larry!&quot;
* '''Barnacle Boy''': &quot;Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Unite!&quot;
* '''Patchy''': &quot;Ahoy!&quot;
* '''Squidward''': &quot;Yah-tah-tah-tah.&quot;
* '''Larry''': &quot;Hello, SpongeBob!&quot;
* '''Sandy''': &quot;Yee-haw!&quot;
* '''Rube Goldfish''': &quot;Amazing!&quot;
* '''Lady Upturn''': &quot;I am offended!&quot;
* '''Realistic Fish Head''': &quot;We interrupt this program...&quot;
* '''Potty the Parrot''': &quot;Squawk.&quot;
* '''Perch Perkins''': &quot;Hello, Bikini Bottom!&quot;
* '''Squidward''': &quot;Another day, another migraine.&quot;
* '''SpongeBob''': &quot;Yeah.&quot;
* '''Mr. Krabs''': &quot;Spongebob me boy!&quot;
* '''Perch Perkins''': &quot;Perch Perkins here.&quot;
* '''Pearl''': &quot;Daddy!&quot;
* '''Mermaid Man''': &quot;Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Unite!&quot;
* '''Barnacle Boy''': &quot;You old coot.&quot;
* '''Perch Perkins''': &quot;Perch Perkins reporting live.&quot;
* '''Elwood''': &quot;This is fun!&quot;

==Video Games==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: Legend of the Lost Spatula]] (2001)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: SuperSponge]] (2001)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: Revenge of the Flying Dutchman]] (2002)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom]] (2003)
*[[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (video game)]] (2004)
*[[Nicktoons Movin']] (2004)
*[[Nicktoons Unite!]] (2005)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: Lights, Camera, Pants!]] (2005)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: Creature from the Krusty Krab]] (2006)
*[[Nicktoons: Battle for Volcano Island]] (2006)
*[[SpongeBob's Atlantis SquarePantis (video game)]] (2007)
*[[Nicktoons: Attack of the Toybots]] (2007)
*[[Nicktoons: Android Invasion]] (2008)
*[[Nicktoons: Globs of Doom|SpongeBob SquarePants featuring Nicktoons: Globs of Doom]] (2008)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: Fists of Foam]] (2008)
*[[SpongeBob's Truth or Square (video game)]] (2009)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: Plankton's Robotic Revenge]] (2013)
*[[SpongeBob HeroPants]] (2015)
*[[Nickelodeon Kart Racers]] (2018)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: Patty Pursuit]] (2020)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom|SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom - Rehydrated]] (2020)
*[[Nickelodeon Kart Racers 2: Grand Prix]] (2020)
*[[Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl]] (2021)
*[[Nickelodeon Kart Racers 3: Slime Speedway]] (2022)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake]] (2023)
*[[Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl 2]] (2023)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: The Patrick Star Game]] (2024)
*[[Nicktoons &amp; The Dice of Destiny]] (2025)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: Titans of the Tide]] (2025)
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants: Patty Pursuit 2]] (2025)

==About==
* The main thing missing from cartoons is today that old cartoons were cartoony. They did things you can't do in any other medium. Today's cartoons are very conservative and are more like live action. The characters look the same in every frame of the dang cartoon. The old cartoons squashed, stretched, and did crazy expressions. They were imaginative and crazy. A lot of cartoons aren't imaginative, they just say things. It might as well be radio. There is no point in having anything to look at in modern cartoons. But you can't say that about every cartoon. [Genndy Tartakovsky's cartoons are beautiful. The closest thing now to what I'm saying is ''SpongeBob'' but even that doesn't go very far. It's like a conservative version of ''Ren &amp; Stimpy''.
**[[John Kricfalusi]] interview (Oct 12, 2004)

==Voice Cast==
===Main Cast===
*Tom Kenny as SpongeBob, Gary
*Bill Fagerbakke as Patrick
*Rodger Bumpass as Squidward
*Clancy Brown as Mr. Krabs
*Mr. Lawrence as Plankton, Larry the Lobster
*Jill Talley as Karen
*Carolyn Lawrence as Sandy
*Mary Jo Catlett as Mrs. Puff
*Lori Alan as Pearl

===Supporting Cast===
*Tom Kenny as Harold SquarePants, Slappy
*Mr. Lawrence as Potty, Realistic Fish Head
*Ernest Borgnine as Mermaid Man
*Tim Conway as Barnacle Boy
*Brian Doyle-Murray as The Flying Dutchman
*John O'Hurley as King Neptune
*Sirena Irwin as Margaret SquarePants
*Dee Bradley Baker as Perch Perkins, Bubble Bass
*John Gegenhuber as Old Man Jenkins

===Other Cast===
*Dee Snider as Angry Jack
*Betty White as Beatrice
*Bob Barker as Bob Barnacle
*Brad Abrell as Bubble Buddy
*Dee Bradley Baker as Craig Mammalton, Sea Bear, Squilliam, Tinkle, Clem
*Jeff Garlin as Cuddle E. Hugs
*Tom Kenny as Dirty Bubble, Ouchie, Jeff Tentacles
*Paul Tibbitt as DoodleBob, Kyle, Mama Krabs
*Thomas F. Wilson as Flats the Flounder, Tattletale Strangler, Cecil
*Gene Shalit as Gene Scallop
*Ian McShane as Gordon
*Amy Poehler as Granny
*Johnny Depp as Jack Kahuna Laguna
*Patton Oswalt as Jim
*Biz Markie as Kenny the Cat
*David Bowie as Lord Royal Highness
*Bob Joles as Man Ray
*Pat Morita as Master Udon
*Mark Hamill as Moth
*Alton Brown as Nicholas Wilthers
*Victoria Beckham as Queen Amphitrite
*Sebastian Bach as Prince Triton
*Gilbert Gottfried as Sal
*Gene Simmons as Sea Monster
*Robin Sachs as Sergeant Sam Roderick
*Henry Winkler as Sharkface
*Michael McKean as Lonnie
*Clancy Brown as Ronnie, Dennis, Pa Plankton
*David Lander as Donnie
*R. Lee Ermey as Warden
*Scarlett Johansson as Princess Mindy
*Neil Ross as Cyclops
*Antonio Banderas as Burger-Beard
*Matt Berry as Bubbles, King Poseidon
*Reggie Watts as Chancellor
*Keanu Reeves as Sage
*Danny Trejo as El Diablo
*Carlos Alazraqui as Nobby, Clem
*Kate Higgins as Narlene, Ma Plankton
*Brad Garrett as Kraken
*Cree Summer as Bunny
*Jill Talley as Squidina, Pinkeye
*Dana Snyder as GrandPat
*John DiMaggio as Blackjack
*Christopher Guest as Stanley
*Garnett Sailor as Captain Blue
*Marion Ross as Grandma SquarePants
*Rodger Bumpass as Mrs. Tentacles
*Mary Jo Catlett as Grandma Tentacles
*Sirena Irwin as Mama Krabs
*Dennis Quaid as Captain Redbeard
*Laraine Newman as Granny Plankton

==See Also==
* ''[[The Ren &amp; Stimpy Show]]''
* ''[[Rocko's Modern Life]]''

==External Links==
{{SpongeBob SquarePants}}
[[Category:1990s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2000s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:1990s American surreal comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:2000s American surreal comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American surreal comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American surreal comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical TV shows]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Current shows]]
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants]]
[[Category:Nicktoons]]
[[Category:American TV shows with live action and animation]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about fish]]</text>
      <sha1>i44racfnqiuckanixc6sdn5uxzdkfgz</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Vladimir Putin</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>3614</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943985</id>
      <parentid>3939001</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T15:49:08Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Warpfrz</username>
        <id>3242234</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* 2018 */ FIFA</comment>
      <origin>3943985</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="221045" sha1="67beccdhfoqzgn75ue483jw96mho5w7" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Vladimir Putin - 2006.jpg|thumb|We will not allow the past to drag us down and stop us from moving ahead. We understand where we should move.]]
'''[[w:Vladimir Putin|Vladimir Putin]]''' (born [[7 October]] [[1952]]) is a [[Russian]] [[politician]] and former intelligence officer who is the president of [[Russia]], a position he has held since 2012, and previously from 2000 until 2008. Putin is the second-longest current serving European president after [[Alexander Lukashenko]] of neighbouring [[Belarus]].

:'''''See also [[New Year Address by the President of Russia]], [[Putinism]]'''''

==Quotes==
[[File:Graph (military spenders).jpg|thumb|Comrade Wolf knows who to eat, as the saying goes. It knows who to eat and is not about to listen to anyone. (On the U.S., whose military budget is 25 times bigger than Russia's)]]
[[File:Putin (cropped).jpg|thumb|People are always teaching us democracy but the people who teach us [[democracy]] don't want to learn it themselves.]]
[[File:Russia.VladimirPutin.02.jpg|thumb|It's extremely dangerous trying to resolve political problems outside the framework of [[Rule of law|the law.]]]]

[[File:Gandhi 1944.jpg|thumb|There is no one to talk to since Mahatma Gandhi died.]]
[[File:Vladimir Putin at the Millennium Summit 6-8 September 2000-19.jpg|thumb|This is our final choice, and we have no way back. There can be no return to what we used to have before.]]
[[File:Russian Police car Tver.jpg|thumb|You must obey the law, always, not only when they grab you...]]
[[File:Beslan_kollazh.jpg|thumb|Why should we talk to people who are child-killers? No one has a moral right to tell us to talk to child-killers.]]
[[File:Beslan_foto_pogibshih.jpg|thumb|No matter how targeted the strikes or how sophisticated the weapons, civilian casualties are inevitable, including the elderly and children...We must stop using the language of force and return to the path of civilized diplomatic and political settlement.]]
[[File:Greek Galleys.jpg|thumb|I have worked like a galley slave throughout these eight years, morning till night, and I have given all I could to this work. I am happy with the results.]]
[[File:Vladimir Putin in the United States 13-16 November 2001-48.jpg|thumb|I bow my head to the victims of terrorism.]]
[[File:911 Tribute (perspective fixed).jpg|thumb|I am highly impressed of the courage of New York residents. The great city and the great American nation are to win!]]
[[File:Большая эмблема Воздушно-десантных войск России.png|thumb|If a fight is inevitable, go and fight first.]]
[[File:Vladimir Putin and Oliver Stone (2017-12-01) 02.jpg|thumb|[President Putin has] &quot;achieved great respect in Russia. ... he is very popular because of what he's done. And he did it by the law of Russia, which was of course, two terms, and then he became prime minister, and then went back to being president for two more.... Putin is the most mature statesman in the whole world right now. He... sees the world as needing balance... not...dominated by the United States.&quot; [https://www.businessinsider.com/oliver-stone-bush-biopic-w-militarization-more-dangerous-than-trump-2018-10 Oliver Stone, (29 October 2018)] ]]

[[File:Békegong.jpg|thumb|Russia is in favor of a multipolar world, a democratic world order, strengthening the system of international law, and for developing a legal system in which any small country, even a very small country, can feel itself secure, as if behind a stone wall.]]
=== 1990s ===
* We will chase [[Terrorism|terrorists]] everywhere. If in an airport, then in the airport. So if we find them in the toilet, excuse me, '''we'll rub them out in the outhouse'''. And that's it, case closed.
** [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/9-vladimir-putin-quotes-that-offer-terrifying-insights-into-his-mind-a7796061.html Responding to a journalist's question when visiting Dagestan.] (1999)

===2000s===
====2000====
* '''Anyone who doesn't regret the passing of the [[Soviet Union]] has no heart, Anyone who wants it restored has no brains.'''
** [https://archive.nytimes.com/www.nytimes.com/library/world/europe/022000russia-putin.html Putin Retains Soviet Discipline While Steering Toward Reform] (20 February 2000)

* '''There is no such thing as a former [[KGB]] man.'''
** [http://vesti.lenta.ru/editor/2000/05/06/pobeda/ Responding to Prime Minister Sergei Stepashin, who called himself a former KGB officer.] (May 6, 2000)

====2001====
*'''I bow my head to the victims of terrorism. I am highly impressed of the courage of [[New York City|New York]] residents. The great city and the great American nation are to win!'''
**[http://web.archive.org/web/20031117142036/http://www.kremlin.ru/events/photos/2001/11/39974.shtml Inscription at the World Trade Center Memorial Wall] (15 November 2001).

====2002====
* [[Ukraine]] is an independent, sovereign state and will choose its own path to peace and security. . . . Such a conversation would be entirely appropriate and entirely possible. I certainly don’t see there being anything particularly tricky here, anything that need or that could cast a shadow over relations between Russia and Ukraine.
** About Ukraine seeking membership in Nato, after the Nato–Russia Council was created at the Nato summit in Rome, May 28, 2002, quoted in [https://www.atlanticcouncil.org/blogs/new-atlanticist/russia-must-also-hit-the-reset-button/ &quot;Russia Must Also Hit the Reset Button&quot;], Atlantic Council, 1 April 2009
&lt;!-- [http://www.usubc.org/keyissues/russia_reset040109.php]{{deadlink}} --&gt;

* Russia does not have in its possession any trustworthy [[data]] that supports the existence of [[nuclear weapons]] or any [[Iraq and weapons of mass destruction|weapons of mass destruction]] in Iraq and we have not received any such information from our partners as yet.
** [http://www.guardian.co.uk/Iraq/Story/0,2763,810093,00.html News conference] with then British Prime Minister [[Tony Blair]], October 2002.

* If you are determined to become a complete [[Radical Islam|Islamic radical]] and are ready to undergo [[circumcision]], then I invite you to [[Moscow]]. We are multi-confessional. We have experts in this sphere as well. I will recommend to conduct the operation so that nothing on you will grow again.
** Commenting to a journalist from ''Le Monde'' after a summit meeting with leaders from the European Union (11 November 2002), as cited in [https://www.nytimes.com/2002/11/13/world/why-putin-boils-over-chechnya-is-his-personal-war.html &quot;Why Putin Boils Over: Chechnya Is His Personal War&quot;], ''The New York Times'' (13 November 2002).

====2003====
* Two weeks later they still have not been found. The question is, where is [[Saddam Hussein]]? Where are those [[Iraq and weapons of mass destruction|weapons of mass destruction]], if they were ever in existence? Is Saddam Hussein in a bunker sitting on cases containing weapons of mass destruction, preparing to blow the whole place up?
** In a Press conference, regarding the weapon of mass destruction of Iraq. (May 1, 2003)[https://archive.is/20130705182739/www.dailytimes.com.pk/default.asp?page=story_1-5-2003_pg4_1]

* ''Надо исполнять закон всегда, а не только тогда, когда схватили за одно место.''
** ''Translation:'' '''You must obey the law, always, not only when they grab you by your special place.'''
** Interview, [[4 November]] [[2003]]

====2004====
* Why don't you meet [[Osama bin Laden]], invite him to [[Brussels]] or to the [[White House]] and engage in talks, ask him what he wants and give it to him so he leaves you in peace? You find it possible to set some limitations in your dealings with these bastards, so '''why should we talk to people who are child-killers? No one has a moral right to tell us to talk to childkillers.'''
** In response to those who called Putin to enter talks with Chechen separatists after the [[Beslan school hostage crisis]], in September 2004
** {{cite news | title=Putin rejects &quot;child-killer talks&quot; | publisher=[[BBC News]]| date=2004-09-07 | url=http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/3633668.stm | accessdate=2006-07-07 }}

* ''Понятно, что надо больше платить, это самый простой вариант, не всегда возможный,(но простой) но способов решения проблемы много''
** ''Translation:'' It is clear that we have to pay more, it is the simple option, not always affordable, (&quot;but simple,&quot; said in actual recording) but the ways to solve the problem are many.
** On human capital flight, in address to Committee for Education, Science and Technology (26 October 2004).

* The democratic choice [[Russians|Russian people]] made in the early 90's is final.
** Interview in Brazil for space talks, (22 November 2004).

* It's extremely dangerous trying to resolve political problems outside the framework of the law — first the ‘[[w:Rose Revolution|Rose Revolution]]', then they'll think up something like blue. ''[word play here: &quot;rose&quot; having the colloquial sense of &quot;[[lesbian]]&quot; in modern [[Russian language|Russian]], and &quot;blue&quot; meaning &quot;[[Gay men|gay]]&quot;]''
** On the &quot;{{w|Orange Revolution}}&quot; in Ukraine and the &quot;{{w|Rose Revolution}}&quot; in Georgia, [http://business.timesonline.co.uk/tol/business/markets/russia/article405454.ece News conference], (23 December 2004).

====2005====
* Above all, we should acknowledge that the [[w:Collapse_of_the_Soviet_Union|collapse of the Soviet Union]] was a major geopolitical disaster of the century. As for the Russian nation, it became a genuine drama. Tens of millions of our co-citizens and compatriots found themselves outside Russian territory. Moreover, the epidemic of disintegration infected Russia itself.
** “[http://en.kremlin.ru/events/president/transcripts/22931 Annual Address to the Federal Assembly of the Russian Federation],” ''President of Russia''
** (Прежде всего следует признать, что крушение Советского Союза было крупнейшей геополитической катастрофой века. Для российского же народа оно стало настоящей драмой. Десятки миллионов наших сограждан и соотечественников оказались за пределами российской территории. Эпидемия распада к тому же перекинулась на саму Россию.)
*** [http://kremlin.ru/events/president/transcripts/22931 Russian-language original]

* Russia has made its choice in favor of [[democracy]]. Fourteen years ago, independently, without any pressure from outside, it made that decision in the interests of itself and interests of its people — of its citizens. This is our final choice, and we have no way back. There can be no return to what we used to have before. And the guarantee for this is the choice of the [[Russians|Russian people]], themselves. No, guarantees from outside cannot be provided. This is impossible. It would be impossible for Russia today. Any kind of turn towards [[totalitarianism]] for Russia would be impossible, due to the condition of the Russian society.
** [http://georgewbush-whitehouse.archives.gov/news/releases/2005/02/20050224-9.html Joint press conference with President George Bush in 2005, Slovakia]

* People in Russia say that those who do not regret the collapse of the Soviet Union have no heart, and those that do regret it have no brain. We do not regret this, we simply state the fact and know that we need to look ahead, not backwards. '''We will not allow the past to drag us down and stop us from moving ahead. We understand where we should move.''' But we must act based on a clear understanding of what happened..
** Interview with German television channel ARD and ZDF, May 2005. [http://en.kremlin.ru/events/president/transcripts/22948 Kremlin, RU,] (May 2005)

* I will recall once more Russia's most recent [[History of Russia|history]]. &lt;br/&gt; Above all, we should acknowledge that the collapse of the Soviet Union was a major geopolitical disaster of the century. As for the Russian nation, it became a genuine drama. Tens of millions of our co-citizens and compatriots found themselves outside Russian territory. Moreover, the epidemic of disintegration infected Russia itself. &lt;br/&gt; Individual savings were depreciated, and old ideals destroyed. Many institutions were disbanded or reformed carelessly. Terrorist intervention and the Khasavyurt capitulation that followed damaged the country's integrity. [[Oligarchy|Oligarchic]] groups — possessing absolute control over information channels — served exclusively their own [[Corporations|corporate interests]]. Mass [[poverty]] began to be seen as the norm. And all this was happening against the backdrop of a dramatic economic downturn, unstable finances, and the paralysis of the social sphere. &lt;br/&gt; Many thought or seemed to think at the time that our young democracy was not a continuation of Russian statehood, but its ultimate collapse, the prolonged agony of the Soviet system. &lt;br/&gt; But they were mistaken. &lt;br/&gt; That was precisely the period when the significant developments took place in Russia. Our society was generating not only the energy of self-preservation, but also the will for a new and free life.
**[http://kremlin.ru/eng/speeches/2005/04/25/2031_type70029type82912_87086.shtml Kremlin RU,] (25 April 2005)

* But if the [[United States|U.S.]] were to leave and abandon [[Iraq War|Iraq]] without establishing the grounds for a united and sovereign country, that would definitely be a second mistake.
** After saying the US shouldn't have gone into Iraq in the first place
** [http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/05/07/60minutes/main693705.shtml CBS News] (May 2005)

* I realise that 2008 will be an important test for Russia, and not an easy one. At the same time, the [[w:Constitution_of_Russia|Constitution of the Russian Federation]] states that the [[President of Russia|President]], the head of state, is elected for four years through direct secret ballot and cannot stay in office for more than two consecutive terms. &lt;br/&gt; I am not indifferent of course to the question of who will take in their hands the destiny of the country I have devoted my life to serving. But if each successive head of state were to change the Constitution to suit them, we would soon find ourselves without a state at all. I think that Russia's different political forces are sufficiently mature to realise their responsibility to the people of the Russian Federation. In any case, the person who receives the votes of the majority of Russian citizens will become the [[President of Russia|President]] of the country.
** Answering the question of Dutch TV station &quot;Nederland 1&quot; and Dutch newspaper &quot;NRC Handelsblad&quot;, &quot;''Can you imagine a situation in which you would decide to remain in office for a third term?''&quot;, Putin said: [http://web.archive.org/web/20061013003243/http://www.kremlin.ru/eng/speeches/2005/10/31/1955_type82914type82916_96455.shtml]

====2006====
* Russia does not want confrontation of any kind. And we will not take part in any kind of &quot;holy alliance&quot;.
**[http://web.archive.org/web/20061013001158/http://www.kremlin.ru/eng/speeches/2006/06/27/2040_type82912type82913type82914_107818.shtml Kremlin RU] (27 June 2006)

*I stress that we unambiguously support strengthening the non-proliferation regime, without any exceptions, on the basis of [[international law]].
** [http://kremlin.ru/eng/speeches/2006/05/10/1823_type70029type82912_105566.shtml Kremlin RU] (10 May 2006)

* We have spoken on many occasions of the need to achieve high [[economic growth]] as an absolute priority for our country. The annual address for 2003 set for the first time the goal of doubling [[Gross Domestic Product|gross domestic product]] within a decade.
** [http://kremlin.ru/eng/speeches/2006/05/10/1823_type70029type82912_105566.shtml Annual Address to the Federal Assembly], (May 2006)

* Russia must realise its full potential in high-tech sectors such as modern energy technology, transport and communications, space and aircraft building.
** [http://kremlin.ru/eng/speeches/2006/05/10/1823_type70029type82912_105566.shtml Annual Address to the Federal Assembly], (10 May 2006)

* He raped 10 women. I never expected it from him. He surprised all of us.
** {{w|Moshe Katsav}} [http://www.newsru.com/russia/19oct2006/olmert.html ''NewsRu''] (19 Oct 2006)

* I see that not everyone in the West has understood that the Soviet Union has disappeared from the political map of the world and that a new country has emerged with new humanist and ideological principles at the foundation of its existence.
** [http://www.kremlin.ru/eng/text/speeches/2006/07/12/1829_type82916_108548.shtml interview with TF-1 Television Channel (France)], taken on [[July 12]], [[2006]]

* Just as one must respect our interests since almost 17 million ethnic Russians live in Ukraine and half of all Ukrainian families have ties with the Russian Federation.
** interview with German ZDF TV, July 13, 2006.[http://en.kremlin.ru/events/president/transcripts/23703]

* We certainly would not want to have the same kind of democracy that they have in Iraq, quite honestly.
** [[July 17]], [[2006]], during the St. Petersburg Group of Eight summit Putin said in reply to [[George W. Bush]], who said he hopes Russia will follow Iraq in turning to democracy
** [http://www.brendan-nyhan.com/blog/2006/07/bush_says_just_.html] [http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/europe/07/15/russia.g8/index.html]

*There is no, and there can be no, justification for a crime of such cynicism and monstrosity. The terrorists guilty of this crime must be severely punished.
**July 2006, on the 2006 Mumbai train bombings, quoted in [http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/5170584.stm  Mumbai bombs: Reaction in quotes]

* '''If there is no possibility or, to put it in plain terms, if there is no money... What can you do? You can't go to a store, you can't buy anything, either a cannon, or a missile, or a medicine.''' For this reason the economy is at the basis of everything. In the beginning it was [[Karl Marx]] and then [[Sigmund Freud|Freud]] and others...
** During a meeting with representatives of the [[VGTRK|Russian State Television and Radio Broadcasting Company]], May 13. 2006
** [http://web.archive.org/web/20060614140558/http://www.kremlin.ru/eng/speeches/2006/05/13/1557_type82915type82917type84779_105660.shtml]

* Their [U.S.] defense budget in absolute figures is almost 25 times bigger than Russia's. This is what in defense is referred to as &quot;their home — their fortress&quot;. And good for them, I say. Well done!
** On the [[United States]] 2006 annual address to the Federal Assembly

* ''Товарищ волк знает, кого кушать. Кушает, и никого не слушает, и слушать, судя по всему, не собирается.''
** ''Translation:'' Comrade wolf knows who to eat. He eats without listening to anybody and it seems he is not ever going to listen.
** On the U.S., whose military budget is 25 times bigger than Russia's; annual presidential address to the Federal Senate, [[10 May]] [[2006]]

* But this means that we also need to build our home and make it strong and well protected. We see, after all, what is going on in the world. '''&quot;The Comrade Wolf knows whom to eat, as the saying goes. It knows whom to eat and is not about to listen to anyone''', it seems.&quot;
** [http://kremlin.ru/eng/speeches/2006/05/10/1823_type70029type82912_105566.shtml]

====2007====
*I think it is obvious that [[w:expansion_of_NATO|NATO expansion]] does not have any relation with the modernization of the alliance itself or with ensuring security in [[Europe]]. On the contrary, it represents a serious provocation that reduces the level of mutual trust. And we have the right to ask: against whom is this expansion intended? And what happened to the assurances our western partners made after the dissolution of the [[w:Warsaw_Pact|Warsaw Pact]]? Where are those declarations today? No one even remembers them. But I will allow myself to remind this audience what was said. I would like to quote the speech of NATO General Secretary [[w:Manfred_Woerner|Mr. Woerner]] in [[Brussels]] on 17 May 1990. He said at the time that: “the fact that we are ready not to place a NATO army outside of German territory gives the Soviet Union a firm security guarantee.” Where are these guarantees?
**[[w:Munich speech|2007 Munich speech]], cited in [https://www.theamericanconservative.com/we-poked-the-bear/ We Poked the Bear], March 17, 2022

* Not everyone likes the stable, gradual rise of our country. There are some who are using the democratic ideology to interfere in our internal affairs.
** [http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/6594379.stm Putin attacks 'foreign meddlers'] [[26 April]] [[2007]]

* A superpower is a [[Cold War|cold war]] term. When people today say that Russia aspires to have this status, I interpret it in the following way: they want to undermine trust in Russia, to portray Russia as frightening, and create some kind of image of an enemy. … Russia is in favor of a multipolar world, a democratic world order, strengthening the system of international law, and for developing a legal system in which any small country, even a very small country, can feel itself secure, as if behind a stone wall. … Russia is ready to become part of this multipolar world and guarantee that the international community observes these rules. And not as a superpower with special rights, but rather as an equal among equals.
** [http://kremlin.ru/eng/speeches/2007/01/18/0726_type82914type82916_117126.shtml]

* We still have a great amount of work to do in social development, including resolving one of the biggest challenges we face in this area, namely, reducing the gap between high-income earners and people, citizens of our country, who are still living on very modest means indeed. But we cannot, of course, adopt the solution used 80 years ago and simply confiscate the riches of some to redistribute among others. We will use completely different means to resolve this problem, namely, we will ensure good economic growth.
** [http://kremlin.ru/eng/speeches/2007/02/01/1309_type82915_117609.shtml]

* I think there are things of which I and the people who have worked with me can feel deservedly proud. They include restoring Russia's territorial integrity, strengthening the state, progress towards establishing a multiparty system, strengthening the parliamentary system, restoring the [[Russian Armed Forces|Armed Forces]]' potential and, of course, developing the economy. As you know, our economy has been growing by 6.9 percent a year on average over this time, and our [[GDP]] has increased by 7.7 percent over the first four months of this year alone. &lt;br/&gt; When I began my work in the year 2000, 30 percent of our population was living below the poverty line. There has been a two-fold drop in the number of people living below the poverty line since then and the figure today is around 15 percent. By 2009-2010, we will bring this figure down to 10 percent, and this will bring us in line with the European average. &lt;br/&gt; We had enormous [[Government debt|debts]], simply catastrophic for our economy, but we have paid them off in full now. Not only have we paid our debts, but we now have the best foreign debt to GDP ratio in Europe. Our gold and currency reserve figures are well known: in 2000, they stood at just $12 billion and we had a debt of more than 100 percent of GDP, but now we have the third-biggest gold and currency reserves in the world and they have increased by $90 billion over the first four months of this year alone.
** [http://web.archive.org/web/20070607221025/http://www.kremlin.ru/eng/speeches/2007/06/04/2149_type82916_132772.shtml When asked in June 2007 at the interview with G8 journalists about main achievements of his presidency].

* During the 1990s and even in 2000-2001, we had massive capital flight from Russia with $15 billion, $20 billion or $25 billion leaving the country every year. Last year we reversed this situation for the first time and had capital inflow of $41 billion. We have already had capital inflow of $40 billion over the first four months of this year. Russia's [[stock market]] capitalisation showed immense growth last year and increased by more than 50 percent. This is one of the best results in the world, perhaps even the best. [[w:economy of Russia|Our economy]] was near the bottom of the list of world economies in terms of size but today it has climbed to ninth place and in some areas has even overtaken some of the other G8 countries' economies. This means that today we are able to tackle social problems. Real incomes are growing by around 12 percent a year. Real income growth over the first four months of this year came to just over 18 percent, while wages rose by 11-12 percent. &lt;br/&gt; Looking at the problems we have yet to resolve, one of the biggest is the huge income gap between the people at the top and the bottom of the scale. Combating poverty is obviously one of our top priorities in the immediate term and we still have to do a lot to improve our pension system too because the correlation between pensions and the average wage is still lower here than in Europe. The gap between incomes at the top and bottom end of the scale is still high here – a 15.6-15.7-fold difference. This is less than in the United States today (they have a figure of 15.9) but more than in the UK or Italy (where they have 13.6-13.7). But this remains a big gap for us and fighting poverty is one of our biggest priorities.
** [http://web.archive.org/web/20070607221025/http://www.kremlin.ru/eng/speeches/2007/06/04/2149_type82916_132772.shtml When asked in June 2007 at the interview with G8 journalists about main achievements of his presidency].

* People are always teaching us democracy but the people who teach us democracy don't want to learn it themselves.
** MUNICH, February 10, 2007. [http://www.rferl.org/featuresarticle/2007/02/a50c8a12-b6a8-44ad-92dd-58183e78a032.html]

* После смерти Махатмы Ганди поговорить не с кем.
** ''Translation:'' There is no one to talk to since Mahatma Gandhi died.
** Responding to a question &quot;Former Federal Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder called you a 'pure democrat'. Do you consider yourself such?&quot; June 4, 2007, [http://www.kremlin.ru/eng/speeches/2007/06/04/2149_type82916_132716.shtml]

* According to the statistics, up to 17 million ethnic Russians live in Ukraine, while some four million Ukrainians live in Russia, whether permanently or temporarily.
** Live with President Vladimir Putin, October 18, 2007.[http://en.kremlin.ru/events/president/transcripts/24604]

* Of Ukraine’s 45 million people, 17 million are ethnic Russians, and this is only according to official statistics. Almost 100 percent of people there consider Russian their native language, well, 80 percent perhaps.
** Interview with ''Time Magazine'', December 19, 2007.[http://en.kremlin.ru/events/president/transcripts/24735]

* There are 17 million ethnic Russians there, officially. Almost 100% of the people consider Russian as their mother tongue.
** Interview with ''Time Magazine'', December 19, 2007. [http://content.time.com/time/specials/2007/printout/0,29239,1690753_1690757_1695787,00.html]
** There are actually 8.3 million ethnic Russians in Ukraine (17.3% of the population), and 29.3% of Ukrainians consider Russian their native language (2001 census).

====2008====
* [[Russia]] doesn't negotiate with [[Terrorism|terrorists]]. It destroys them.
**[http://www.ruvr.ru/main.php?lng=eng&amp;p=29.01.2008&amp;rt=124] (January 29, 2008)

* Don't you know that Ukraine is not even a real country? Part of it is really [[East/Central Europe|East European]], and part is really Russian.
** In a meeting with US Ambassador [[William J. Burns (diplomat)|William J. Burns]] at Novo-Ogaryovo, March 2008 (William J. Burns 2019, ''The Back Channel'', P. 238)

* But in Ukraine, one third are ethnic [[Russians]]. Out of forty five million people, in line with the official census, seventeen millions are Russians [[http://2001.ukrcensus.gov.ua/eng/results/general/nationality/ actually 8.3M]]. There are regions, where only the Russian population lives, for instance, in the Crimea. 90% are Russians [[http://2001.ukrcensus.gov.ua/eng/results/general/nationality/Crimea/ actually 59%]]. Generally speaking, Ukraine is a very complicated state. Ukraine, in the form it currently exists, was created in the Soviet times, it received its territories from [[Poland]] – [[Aftermath of World War II|after the Second World war]], from Czechoslovakia, from Romania – and at present not all the problems have been solved as yet in the border region with [[Romania]] in the [[Black Sea]]. Then, it received huge territories from Russia in the east and south of the country. It is a complicated state formation. If we introduce into it NATO problems, other problems, it may put the state on the verge of its existence. Complicated internal political problems are taking place there. We should act also very-very carefully. We do not have any right to veto, and, probably, we do not pretend to have. But I want that all of us, when deciding such issues, realize that we have there our interests as well. Well, seventeen million Russians currently live in Ukraine. Who may state that we do not have any interests there? South, the south of Ukraine, completely, there are only Russians.
** In a speech at the NATO Bucharest summit, April 2, 2008 [https://www.unian.info/world/111033-text-of-putins-speech-at-nato-summit-bucharest-april-2-2008.html]

* You do understand, [[George W. Bush|George]], that Ukraine is not even a state. What is Ukraine? Part of its territories is [[Eastern Europe]], but the greater part is a gift from us. (Ты же понимаешь, Джордж, что Украина — это даже не государство! Что такое Украина? Часть ее территорий — это Восточная Европа, а часть, и значительная, подарена нами!)
** According to the same source, “and then he very transparently hinted that if Ukraine was still admitted to NATO, this state would simply cease to exist, that is, in fact, he threatened that Russia could start the rejection of the Crimea and Eastern Ukraine.” (И тут он очень прозрачно намекнул, что если Украину все же примут в НАТО, это государство просто прекратит существование. То есть фактически он пригрозил, что Россия может начать отторжение Крыма и Восточной Украины.)
** Speaking to George W. Bush at the NATO Bucharest Summit, April 4, 2008.[http://content.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1900838,00.html] Originally [http://www.kommersant.ru/doc/877224 reported in Kommersant.ru based on an unidentified source].

* At least the state figure should have a head.
** In response to [[Hillary Clinton]]'s comment that Putin has 'no soul'. [http://ria.ru/politics/20080507/106744531.html] (May 7, 2008)

* Crimea is not a disputed territory. There has been no ethnic conflict there, unlike the conflict between South Ossetia and [[Georgia (country)|Georgia]]. Russia has long recognized the borders of modern-day Ukraine. On the whole, we have completed our talks on borders. The issue of demarcation still stands, but this is just a technicality. (Крым не является никакой спорной территорией. Там не было никакого этнического конфликта, в отличие от конфликта между Южной Осетией и Грузией. И Россия давно признала границы сегодняшней Украины. Мы, по сути, закончили в общем и целом наши переговоры по границе. Речь идет о демаркации, но это уже технические дела.)
** [http://www.businessinsider.com/putin-in-2008-crimea-is-not-disputed-territory-and-is-part-of-ukraine-2015-4 Interview with ARD Television], Germany, in Sochi, Russia, August 29, 2008.[https://web.archive.org/web/20080912164721/http://www.government.ru:80/content/governmentactivity/mainnews/archive/2008/08/29/2344019.htm]

* '''I have worked like a galley slave throughout these eight years, morning till night, and I have given all I could to this work. I am happy with the results.'''
** Quoted in 15 May 2008 article [http://www.nybooks.com/articles/21353 The Truth About Putin and Medvedev], last annual press conference.

* &quot;I am going to hang [[Mikheil Saakashvili|Saakashvili]] by the balls,&quot; [Mr Putin] said.&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Hang him?,&quot; asked [[Nicolas Sarkozy|Mr Sarkozy]].&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Why not?,&quot; retorted Mr Putin. &quot;The Americans hanged [[Saddam Hussein]].&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Mr Sarkozy replied: &quot;Yes but do you want to end up like Bush?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Briefly lost for words, the Russian leader agreed: &quot;Ah, you have scored a point there.&quot;
** Conversation (12 August 2008) overheard by [[w:Jean-David Levitte|Jean-David Levitte]], an adviser to the then French president, interviewed in ''Le Nouvel Observateur'' magazine, as cited in [https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/russia/3454154/Vladimir-Putin-threatened-to-hang-Georgia-leader-by-the-balls.html &quot;Vladimir Putin threatened to hang Georgia leader 'by the balls'&quot;], ''The Telegraph'' (13 November 2008)

* I want Saakashvili's head.
** As quoted in [https://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/19/magazine/19WWln-q4-t.html &quot;An American Friend&quot;], ''The New York Times'' (19 October 2008)

* They [Georgian military forces] launched their attacks at 23:30 [on August 7]. I learned about it the following morning. I spoke to Bush. He said 'No one wants war.' We expected something would happen, I met him again at the stadium. I can't tell you in detail the content of the conversation, but I had the feeling that his administration wouldn't do anything about stopping the conflict, It's a court which makes a king. Maybe the court thought the king shouldn't intervene.
** Speaking to western journalists and academics in Sochi for the first time since the Georgia crisis began. (September 2008)[http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/sep/12/putin.georgia]

* Enemies are right in front of you, you are at war with them, then you make an armistice with them, and all is clear. A traitor must be destroyed, crushed.
** In 2001, speaking to journalist Aleksoi Venediktov, to whom he added “You know, Aleksei, you are not a traitor. You are an enemy.” David Remnick, “[http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2008/09/22/echo-in-the-dark Echo in the Dark],” in ''The New Yorker'', September 22, 2008.

* But why only by one part?
** Question and Answer session broadcast for Russian television (4 December 2008), as cited in [https://www.reuters.com/article/us-russia-putin-georgia-idUSTRE4B352V20081204 &quot;Russia's Putin had painful plans for Georgian leader&quot;], ''Reuters'' (4 December 2008)
** After being asked: &quot;Is this true you promised to hang Saakashvili by one part?&quot;

====2009====
* [Anton Denikin, in his diary] “has a discussion there about Great and Little Russia, Ukraine. He says that no one should be allowed to interfere in relations between us; this has always been only Russia’s business.” (Обязательно прочитайте! Там у него есть рассуждения о большой и малой России, Украине. Он говорит, что никому не должно быть позволено вмешиваться в отношения между нами, это всегда было делом самой России!)[http://www.newsru.com/russia/24may2009/spo.html]
** On laying a wreath at Denikin’s grave in Moscow, May 24, 2009. James Marson, “[http://content.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1900838,00.html Putin to the West: Hands off Ukraine]” in ''Time Magazine'', May 25, 2009.

* Russia has always respected the bravery and heroism of the Polish people, soldiers and officers, who stood up first against [[Nazism]] in [[Invasion of Poland|1939]].
** On the 70th anniversary of the start of World War II, 1 September 2009 [https://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/02/world/europe/02russia.html]

* In order to preserve a balance, while we aren't planning to build a missile defence of our own, as it's very expensive and its efficiency is not quite clear yet, we have to develop offensive strike systems. They [U.S.] should give us all the information about the missile defence, and we will be ready then to provide some information about offensive weapons.
** Putin said that arms control talks between Moscow and Washington were proceeding in a positive way. (December 2009)[http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/dec/29/nuclear-weapons-russia]

=== 2010s ===
====2010====
* I am personally acquainted with [[Robert Gates|Mr Gates]], I have met him on several occasions. I think he is a very nice man and not a bad specialist. But Mr Gates, of course, was one of the leaders of the US [[Central Intelligence Agency]] and today he is defense secretary. If he also happens to be America's leading expert on democracy, I congratulate you.
** On [[Robert Gates]] in interview with [[Larry King]]. (February 2010)[http://en.rian.ru/interview/20101202/161586625.html]

* He is profoundly wrong. Our country is run by the people of the Russian Federation through legitimately elected bodies of power and administration: through representative bodies (the parliament) and executive bodies (the president and the government of the Russian Federation)
** When [[Larry King]] asked that [[Robert Gates]] is wrong or right about Russia that democracy has disappeared and the government being run by the security services. (February 2010) [http://en.rian.ru/interview/20101202/161586625.html]

* Now on our relationship with Ukraine: I will disagree when you said that if we had been separated we would not have been victorious in the war. We would have won in any case, because we are a country of winners. [. . .] This means, that the war was won—I don’t want to offend anyone—on account of the industrial resources of the RF. It’s a historical fact, it’s all in the documents.” (Теперь по поводу наших отношений с Украиной. Я позволю с вами не согласиться, когда вы сейчас сказали, что если бы мы были разделены, мы не победили бы в войне. Мы все равно победили бы, потому что мы - страна победителей. [. . .] Это значит, что война выиграна, не хочу никого обижать, за счет индустриальных ресурсов РФ. Это исторический факт, это все в документах.)[http://www.rosbalt.ru/main/2010/12/16/801573.html]
** On not needing Ukraine to win the Second World War, in a Channel One televised Q&amp;A in 2010-12-16 (quoted in “[http://balticworlds.com/over-the-meanings-of-wwii/ Russian-Ukrainian Information Wars Over the Meanings of WWII].)

* Everything about this crime is now open and published, including a million of documents passed to our Polish partners. It was the leadership of the security services, NKVD, [[Lavrentiy Beria|Beria]], political leadership who, for decades of cynical lies, tried to bury the truth about Katyn massacre, but it would be just as incorrect to place all the guilt on Russian nation. We bow our heads to those who bravely met death here. In this ground lay [[Soviet Union|Soviet]] citizens, burnt in the fire of the [[Stalinism|Stalinist]] repression of the 1930s; [[Poland|Polish]] officers, shot on secret orders; soldiers of the [[Red Army]], executed by the [[Nazism|Nazis]]. Above these graves, in front of people who come here to remember their relatives, it would be a hypocrisy to say: &quot;let's forget everything&quot;. No, we must keep the memory of the past and, of course, we will do it, regardless of how bitter the truth is. On the road to unity we will have two principles: memory and truth. If things work this way then, soldiers of Katyn, it will be your main victory.
** On the 70th anniversary of {{w|Katyn massacre}} where Soviet secret police executed 22,000 Polish officers captured after the Soviet Army invaded Poland in September 1939 [https://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/08/world/europe/08putin.html] [https://www.bbc.com/russian/international/2010/04/100407_katyn_putin]

====2011====
* All the world saw him being killed, all bloodied. Is that democracy? And who did it? Drones, including American ones, delivered a strike on his motorcade. Then commandos, who were not supposed to be there, brought in so-called opposition and militants. And killed him without trial.&lt;br&gt;..&lt;br&gt;'''[[John McCain|Mr McCain]] fought in [[Vietnam War|Vietnam]]. I think that he has enough blood of peaceful citizens on his hands. It must be impossible for him to live without these disgusting scenes anymore. Mr McCain was captured and they kept him not just in [[prison]], but in a pit for several years, Anyone [in his place] would go nuts.'''
** On [[Muammar Gaddafi]]'s death and response and response to [[John McCain]]'s tweet &quot;Dear Vlad, The Arab Spring is coming to a neighbourhood near you.&quot; according to 15 December 2011 article by Alex Spillius titled [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/russia/8958294/Vladimir-Putin-calls-John-McCain-nuts-in-outspoken-attack.html &quot;Vladimir Putin calls John McCain 'nuts' in outspoken attack&quot;]

====2012====
* '''We are not for [[Bashar al-Assad|Assad]], neither for his opponents, We want to achieve the situation where the violence ends and there won’t be large-scale [[Syrian civil war|civil war]]. How many of peaceful people were killed by so-called militants? Did you count? There are also hundreds of victims. What is happening in [[2011 Libyan civil war|Libya]], in [[Iraq War|Iraq]]? Did they become safer? Where are they heading? Nobody has an answer.'''
** Regarding a statement by {{w|Francois Hollande}} of &quot;the need for Assad to leave&quot;. (June 1, 2012)[http://www.businessweek.com/news/2012-06-01/hollande-clashes-with-putin-over-ouster-of-syria-s-assad]

====2013====
*[[Mustafa Kemal Atatürk|Atatürk]] must rolled in his grave because of the Turkish [[w:Islamisation|Islamisation]]. [[Islamic terrorism|Terrorists]] in [[Syria]] escaped to [[Turkey]]! Got [[Health care|healthcare]] there! Its not impossible to comprpomise with [[Justice and Development Party (Turkey)|the current Turkish leaders]], but very hard..&lt;br&gt;..&lt;br&gt;Maybe [[Recep Tayyip Erdoğan|the current Turkish government]] wanted to show US and EU that &quot;Yes, we are Islamisating the country. But we are modern Islamisators, we are civilised&quot; [[Ronald Reagan]] once said something about the [[Nicaragua|Nicaraguam]] dictator Somoza, &quot;Yes, Somoza is lousy, but he is our lousy.&quot; And now Turkish government says &quot;Yes, we are Islamisators, but we are helpful to the world.&quot; But if you are asking my opinion, this won't end good.&lt;br&gt;..&lt;br&gt;''&quot;I will never be hungry again.&quot; [[Individualism]] lies at the core of the American identity while Russia has been a country of collectivism.&quot;''
**June 2013 regarding difference between USA and Russia, according to [https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=Rkm9DwAAQBAJ&amp;lpg=PA97&amp;ots=ngdHYkqUsa&amp;dq=gone%20with%20the%20wind%20putin&amp;hl=ru&amp;pg=PA97#v=onepage&amp;q=gone%20with%20the%20wind%20putin&amp;f=false page 97] of 30 November 2019 book &quot;The Long Telegram 2.0: A Neo-Kennanite Approach to Russia&quot; by Peter Eltsov

* Russians have different far lofty ambitions; more of a spiritual kind. It's more about your relationship with [[God]].&lt;br&gt;..&lt;br&gt;The [[United States|U.S.]] is a very democratic state. There's no doubt about that. And it originally developed as a democratic state. When the first settlers set their foot on the continent, life forced them to forge a relationship and maintain a dialogue with each other to survive. That's why America was conceived as a fundamental democracy.&lt;br&gt;..&lt;br&gt;[I]t's not by chance that Russia and the U.S. forge alliances in the most critical moments of modern history. That was the case in [[World War I|WWI]] and [[World War II|WWII]]. Even if there was fierce confrontation, our countries united against a common threat, which means there's something that unites us. There must be some fundamental interest which brings us together. That's something we need to focus on first. We need to be aware of our differences but focus on a positive agenda that can improve our cooperation.
** 12 June 2013 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33oIF-ggK5U &quot;Putin talks NSA, Syria, Iran, drones in exclusive RT interview&quot; on YouTube] (also [http://web.archive.org/web/20130614041959/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33oIF-ggK5U archived])

* 80-85 percent of First [[Soviet]] Government was [[Jewish]].
** 13 June 2013, speaking at Moscow’s Jewish Museum: ''[https://www.timesofisrael.com/putin-first-soviet-government-was-mostly-jewish/ The Times of Israel]'' (19 June 2013)

* Recently the [[British people]] suffered a huge loss. It was a tragedy next to his barracks on the streets of [[London]]. A violent [[assassination]], a very brutal killing of a [[British Army|British serviceman]]. Clearly the opposition is not composed all of this but many of them are exactly the same as the ones who perpetrated the killing in London. If we equip these people, if we arm them what is going to control and verify? who is going to have these weapons?, including in Europe as well. So we call all our partners, before making this dangerous step, think about it very carefully.&lt;br&gt;..&lt;br&gt;'''Not all G8 members take the view that chemical weapons were in fact used by the Syrian Army. Some actually agree with us that there is no proof We had disagreements that is true but I never felt lonely and Russia never was on its own in making a statement in regards of Syria.'''
** In Enniskillen, 18 June 2013 [http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/blog/2013/jun/18/g8-summit-politics-live-blog g8-summit-politics-live-blog], ''guardian.co.uk''

* In any case, I'd rather not deal with such questions, because anyway it's like shearing a [[Pigs|pig]] – lots of screams but little wool.
** On not wanting to deal with the US re: [[Edward Snowden]], 25 June 2013 [http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/jun/25/edward-snowden-moscow-vladimir-putin]. ''guardian.co.uk''

* [[Syria]] is already in the grips of [[Syrian civil war|a civil war]], unfortunately enough, and [[Egypt]] is moving in that direction. We would like to see the Egyptian people avoid this fate.
** On the situation in Egypt after the ousting of Egyptian president Morsi, 7 July 2013 [http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/news-by-industry/et-cetera/egypt-approaching-civil-war-vladimir-putin/articleshow/20956290.cms] ''The Economic Times.co.uk''

* Sadly, it reminds me of [[World War II]], when [[Wehrmacht|German fascist forces]] surrounded our cities, like [[Leningrad]], and shelled population centres and their residents.
** On the Ukrainian army's siege of pro-Russian rebel strongholds in Donetsk and Luhansk, 29 August 2014, [http://www.wsj.com/articles/putin-lashes-out-at-ukraine-over-failure-of-talks-1409312151], ''The Wall Street Journal''

* This was very unpleasant and surprising for me. We talk to them [the Americans], and we assume they are decent people, but he [&lt;nowiki/&gt;[[John Kerry]]] is lying and he knows that he is lying. This is sad.
** On the recent chemical attack in Syria, 5 September 2013 [http://www.usatoday.com/story/theoval/2013/09/05/obama-kerry-putin-syria-russia-g-20/2769683/] ''USA Today.co.uk''

* '''It is extremely dangerous to encourage people to see themselves as exceptional, whatever the motivation.''' There are big countries and small countries, rich and poor, those with long democratic traditions and those still finding their way to democracy. Their policies differ, too. We are all different, but when we ask for the Lord's blessings, we must not forget that God created us equal.&lt;br&gt;..&lt;br&gt;Recent events surrounding Syria have prompted me to speak directly to the American people and their political leaders. It is important to do so at a time of insufficient [[communication]] between our societies. [[Russia–United States relations|Relations between us]] have passed through different stages. We stood against each other during the [[Cold War|cold war]]. But we were also allies once, and defeated the [[Nazism|Nazis]] together. The universal international organization – the [[United Nations]] – was then established to prevent such devastation from ever happening again.&lt;BR&gt;It is alarming that military intervention in internal conflicts in foreign countries has become commonplace for the United States. Is it in America's long-term interest? I doubt it. Millions around the world increasingly see America not as a model of democracy but as relying solely on brute force, cobbling coalitions together under the slogan &quot;you're either with us or against us&quot;...&lt;BR&gt; No matter how targeted the strikes or how sophisticated the weapons, [[civilian casualties]] are inevitable, including the elderly and children, whom the strikes are meant to protect...&lt;BR&gt;We must stop using the language of force and return to the path of civilized diplomatic and political settlement.
** [http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/12/opinion/putin-plea-for-caution-from-russia-on-syria.html?_r=0 ''A plea for caution from Russia, The New York Times,'' ] (12 September 2013)&lt;BR&gt; &lt;small&gt; [https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/sep/12/russia-putin-syria Also published in the Guardian] (12 September 2013)&lt;/small&gt;

* Any minority’s right to be different must be respected, but the right of the majority must not be questioned.&lt;br&gt;..&lt;br&gt;Without the values at the core of [[Christianity]] and other world religions, without moral norms that have been shaped over millennia, people will inevitably lose their human dignity.
**19 September 2013 during his speech at the Valdai forum

* For the preservation of the majestic Russia!
** [http://tvrain.ru/articles/putin_poluchil_premiju_vsemirnogo_russkogo_sobora_za_sohranenie_derzhavnoj_rossii-355720/ 31 October 2013]

====2014====
* They act as they please: here and there, they use force against sovereign states, building coalitions based on the principle 'If you are not with us, you are against us.' To make this aggression look legitimate, they force the necessary resolutions from international organizations, and if for some reason this does not work, they simply ignore the UN Security Council and the UN overall.
**[http://rt.com/news/putin-address-ten-quotes-778/ Crimea address] (18 March 2014)

* It's difficult to talk to people who whisper even at home, afraid of Americans eavesdropping on them. It’s not a figure of speech, not a joke, I'm serious.
** [http://on.rt.com/vqds8o (17 April 2014)]

* It's better not to argue with [[women]].
** [https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2014/06/putin-on-hillary-its-better-not-to-argue-with-women/439788/ &quot;Putin on Hillary: 'It's Better Not to Argue With Women'&quot;], The Atlantic, 4 June 2014

* There are historians here, and people with their own views on our country’s history might argue with me, but I think that the Russian and Ukrainian peoples are practically one single people, no matter what others might say. (Вот люди, которые имеют свои собственные взгляды, здесь историков очень много, на историю нашей страны, могут поспорить, но мне кажется, что русский и украинский народ – это практически один народ, вот кто бы чего ни говорил.)
** At the Seliger National Youth Forum, August 29, 2014.[http://en.kremlin.ru/events/president/news/46507][http://kremlin.ru/events/president/news/46507]

* That is not the question. But if I wanted to, I could take Kyiv in two weeks.
** When asked by European Commission President José Manuel Barroso whether Russian troops had crossed into eastern Ukraine, in a phone call reported on 2 September 2014.[https://time.com/3259699/putin-boast-kiev-2-weeks/]

* The biggest [[Nationalism|nationalist]] in Russia: that’s me. (Самый большой националист в России — это я)
**[http://www.vz.ru/news/2014/10/24/712269.html ''Addressing the Valdai Club''] (24 October 2014)

* Speaking of the [[Economic sanctions|sanctions]], they are not just a knee-jerk reaction on behalf of the United States or its allies to our position regarding the events and the coup in Ukraine, or even the so-called Crimean Spring. I’m sure that if these events had never happened – I want to point this out specifically for you as politicians sitting in this auditorium – if none of that had ever happened, they would have come up with some other excuse to try to contain Russia’s growing capabilities, affect our country in some way, or even take advantage of it.&lt;br&gt;..&lt;br&gt;However, in this case I would like to speak about the most serious and sensitive issue: international security. Since 2002, after the US unilaterally pulled out of the ABM Treaty, which was absolutely a cornerstone of international security, a strategic balance of forces and stability, the US has been working relentlessly to create a global missile defence system, including in Europe. This poses a threat not only to Russia, but to the world as a whole – precisely due to the possible disruption of this strategic balance of forces.
** 4 December 2014, The Kremlin Moscow, http://eng.news.kremlin.ru/news/23341

* You can do a lot more with weapons and politeness than just politeness.
** [https://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/05/world/europe/vladimir-putin-war-of-words.html &quot;Putin’s War of Words&quot;], New York Times, 5 December 2022

* Sometimes you don't know what is better: to talk with the governments of some States or directly with their American patrons and sponsors.
** 6 December 2014, Владимир Путин @

* We are guided by interests rather than feelings in dealing with our partners.
** 10 December 2014 http://itar-tass.com/en/economy/766135, &quot;Russia interested in US economy’s ability to resist current crisis — Russian PM&quot;

* In America, torture was legalized, do you believe it?
** [http://rt.com/news/215471-putin-press-conference-updates/ RT news Putin Press conf] (18 December 2014)

====2015====
* We in Russia have always considered Russians and Ukrainians to be one people. I still think so. (Мы всегда в России считали, что русские и украинцы – это один народ. Я так думаю и сейчас.)[http://kremlin.ru/news/47878#sel=7:3,7:19]
**18 March 2015 speech at a Moscow concert on the first anniversary of the annexation of the Crimea by the Russian Federation

* As for some countries’ concerns about Russia's possible aggressive actions, I think that only an insane person and only in a dream can imagine that Russia would suddenly [[Russia–NATO relations|attack NATO]]. I think some countries are simply taking advantage of people’s fears with regard to Russia. They just want to play the role of front-line countries that should receive some supplementary military, economic, financial or some other aid. Therefore, it is pointless to support this idea; it is absolutely groundless. But some may be interested in fostering such fears. I can only make a conjecture. &lt;br/&gt; &lt;br/&gt;For example, the Americans do not want Russia's rapprochement with Europe. I am not asserting this, it is just a hypothesis. Let’s suppose that the United States would like to maintain its leadership in the Atlantic community. It needs an external threat, an external enemy to ensure this leadership. Iran is clearly not enough – this threat is not very scary or big enough. Who can be frightening? And then suddenly this crisis unfolds in Ukraine. Russia is forced to respond. Perhaps, it was engineered on purpose, I don’t know. But it was not our doing. &lt;br/&gt; &lt;br/&gt;Let me tell you something – there is no need to fear Russia. The world has changed so drastically that people with some common sense cannot even imagine such a large-scale military conflict today. We have other things to think about, I assure you.
**6 June 2015 interview to the Italian newspaper Il Corriere della Sera. [http://en.kremlin.ru/events/president/news/49629]

* There are no Russian troops in Ukraine.
** Claimed, contrary to evidence, as shown in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zssIFN2mso &quot;Selfie Soldiers: Russia Checks in to Ukraine&quot;], VICE News, 16 June 2015

* Even 50 years ago, the streets of [[Leningrad]] taught me one thing: '''if a fight is inevitable, go and fight first.'''
**22 October 2015, Valdai Forum. [http://blogs.ft.com/the-world/2015/10/putin-on-isis-when-a-fight-is-inevitable-you-hit-first/]

* We will find them anywhere on the planet and punish them. Our Air Force’s military work in Syria must not simply be continued. It must be intensified in such a way that the criminals understand that vengeance is inevitable.
**17 November 2015, vowing to retaliate against the Islamic militants responsible for the destruction of a Russian airliner over the Sinai on October 31, 2015. [http://www.tribuneindia.com/news/nation/russians-up-strikes-in-french-fury/159736.html Tribune India,]

====2016====
* If minorities prefer [[Sharia]] Law, then we advise them to go to those places where that’s the state law... We will not grant them special privileges, or try to change our laws to fit their desires, no matter how loud they yell ‘[[discrimination]].’
**30 September 2016 article by [https://www.huffingtonpost.com/arnold-steinberg/the-un-speech-president-o_b_8216286.html Huffington Post]

* I will not go into who is to blame for what now. I have always considered, and still do today, that Russians and Ukrainians are really one people. There are people who hold radical [[Nationalism|nationalist]] views both in Russia and in Ukraine. But overall, for the majority, we are one people, a people who share a common history and culture and are ethnically close. First we were divided, then we were set against each other, but we are not to blame for this. We must find our own way out of this situation. I am sure that common sense will prevail and that we will find a solution. [http://en.kremlin.ru/events/president/news/53151] (Я сейчас не буду говорить про то, кто в чём виноват, но я считаю, как и считал, что русские и украинцы – это действительно один народ. У нас есть люди крайних националистических взглядов, как в России, так и в Украине. Но в целом в большинстве своём это один народ – народ одной истории, одной культуры, очень близкий этнически. Нас сначала разделили, а потом стравили, но мы сами в этом виноваты. И мы должны сами найти выход из этой ситуации.)[http://kremlin.ru/events/president/news/53151]
**27 October 2016 meeting of the Valdai Club

====2017====
*95% of the world’s terrorist attacks are orchestrated by the CIA.&lt;br&gt;..&lt;br&gt;If the CIA have Russian blood on their hands, they will forever regret stirring the Russian bear from its peaceful slumber&lt;br&gt;..&lt;br&gt;an expression of the will of world oligarchy and their vision for a [[New world order (politics)|New World Order]]&lt;br&gt;..&lt;br&gt;The CIA does not work on behalf of the American people or act in their interests.&lt;br&gt;..&lt;br&gt;It will take more than a bag of tricks in a subway to make me blink.
**Saturday 8 April 2017 per [https://www.geopolitica.ru/en/news/putin-95-world-terrorist-attacks-are-made-cia Sunday 9 April 2017 report by Geopolitica.Ru]

* I am not a woman, so I don’t have bad days.
**6 June 2017 per [http://www.cnbc.com/2017/06/06/putin-i-am-not-a-woman-so-i-dont-have-bad-days.html CNBC.com]

* You know my position; I spoke about it a number of times. I believe that we are one nation with practically no differences. There are some cultural differences, and the linguistic colouring is a little different. As for me, for instance, the identity of the Ukrainian people’s culture is worth a lot. It is a very rich culture. But in essence, on the whole, we are one people, and a very patient one. [http://en.kremlin.ru/events/president/news/55052] (Вы знаете мою позицию, много раз говорил на этот счёт. Считаю, что у нас один народ, и разницы практически никакой нет. Есть культурологическая, языковая окраска немножко другая. Причём для меня, например, своеобразие культуры украинского народа, на мой взгляд, это очень дорогого стоит. Это действительно богатая культура. Но в целом, по сути‑то один народ.)[http://kremlin.ru/events/president/news/55052]
**14 July 2017 visit to Lebedinsky GOK

* In this sense our historical, spiritual and other roots entitle me to say that basically we are one and the same people. (И в этом смысле наши исторические, духовные и прочие корни дают мне право говорить, что в своей основе мы один народ.)[http://en.kremlin.ru/events/president/news/56378][http://kremlin.ru/events/president/news/56378]
**14 December 2017 annual press conference

====2018====
*На Донбассе гибнут военнослужащие украинской армии. Когда я об этом думаю, на меня это производит очень сильное впечатление. Потому что я считаю, что там все наши&lt;br&gt;(English: &quot;Ukrainian army soldiers are being killed in Donbas. It’s horrible. When I think about this, it makes a very strong impression on me. Because I consider all of them to be ours&quot;)
**7 March 2018 [https://twitter.com/dimsmirnov175/status/971351275152576513 tweet] and [https://twitter.com/dimsmirnov175/status/971351275152576513/video/1 video]

* They do not represent the interests of the [[Government of Russia|Russian state]]&lt;br&gt;Maybe they’re not even [[Russians]],&lt;br&gt;Maybe they’re Ukrainians, Tatars, Jews, just with Russian citizenship, even that needs to be checked.
** [https://www.jpost.com/International/Putin-Jews-might-have-been-behind-US-election-interference-544708 ''The Jerusalem Post''] (10 March 2018)

* Today, [[agriculture]] exports exceed arms sales by more than a third. $28.8 billion from agricultural sector, $15.6 billion from the defense industry... we plan to supply more food to the world markets than we import... To achieve this goal, Russia plans to develop infrastructure, broaden the railway network, increase the capacity of seaports, elevators, and storage terminals... Russia should be aiming at exports of environmentally friendly and quality products. GMO has been banned in Russia since 2016...
** [https://www.rt.com/business/421133-arms-farming-russia-exports-putin/ '''''Agriculture makes much more money for Russia than arms exports – Putin'''''] (13 Mar 2018)

* ''[in Russian]'' To all football fans and the greatest football teams on the planet — welcome! Welcome to all who have already arrived in Russia, and to those who are planning to take part in this landmark international event — the FIFA World Cup. It is with immense joy and a great honor that we receive representatives of the great football family. We want this event to be a celebration, filled with passion and emotions. I hope you will have an unforgettable experience — not only watching the matches of your favorite teams and admiring the players’ skills, but also getting to know Russia. Learning about its identity and culture, its unique history and natural diversity; its hospitable, sincere and friendly people. We have done our best to ensure that all of our guests – the athletes, the staff and, of course, the fans – feel at home in Russia. We have opened both our country and our hearts to the world. Welcome to the FIFA World Cup! ''[in English]'' Welcome to Russia.
** [https://czech.mid.ru/cz/zpravy/zpravy/video_address_on_the_occasion_of_the_2018_fifa_world_cup_opening_ceremony/ ''Video address on the occasion of the 2018 FIFA World Cup opening ceremony''] (8 June 2018)

===== Valdai Discussion Club: 15th Plenary Session (18 October 2018) =====
&lt;small&gt;[http://valdaiclub.com/events/posts/articles/vladimir-putin-meets-with-valdai-discussion-club/ ''Vladimir Putin Meets with Members of the Valdai Discussion Club.'' Full Transcript]&lt;/small&gt;
* These discussions have always presented different and sometimes even opposite points of view. I think that this is the advantage of this discussion club; we call it a discussion club because where there is only one, right point of view, there is no place for discussion. Truth is born from comparing different approaches to the same phenomena and various assessments. Thanks to your participation, we can reach this result.

* There is a demand for true heroism in our lives. True heroism can manifest itself, in particular, by defending civilization from today’s evils. Of course, terrorism is one of the most serious and challenging evils.... the only way to effectively stand up to terrorism is to join efforts. Unfortunately, in the true sense of the word, we have not put this cooperation in place yet. There are some aspects of cooperation where we have succeeded but this is not enough. By the highest standards, we have failed to join efforts the way we should so far, while this could be done, based on the relevant international rules of law and UN resolutions.

* Warfare with the use of aviation and military hardware and so on, a huge number of militant groups on the territory of this country, with militants coming mostly from terrorist organisations based abroad, including [[Al-Qaeda]] who were active in this country. Thank God, we got rid of this but we have not eradicated terrorism per se. Of course, terrorism still poses a great threat to our country as well, which was why we launched these operations in Syria...

* For some years before us, countries that agreed to participate in these anti-terrorist operations, most often voluntarily, and maybe even with less than perfect goals and objectives – what result have we seen in the previous three years? None. While we have liberated almost 95 percent of the entire territory of the Syrian Republic. This is my first point. Second. We supported Syria’s statehood, prevented the state from collapsing. True, there are still many problems.

* The next step is a political settlement at the UN in Geneva. We need to form a constitutional committee now. Progress is not easy, but we are still moving forward. I hope that we will move ahead with our partners in this area. We all need to be on the alert, not underestimate the threats, and step up our joint work to combat terrorism, the ideology of terrorism and the financing of terrorism.

[[File:President Vladimir Putin.jpg|thumb| We are not creating any problems for anyone. Are we the ones creating problems? No. Instead, we are being accused of things... But, no one believes it is necessary to produce any evidence... ]]
* There is an old joke, but some people may not know it. They might find it amusing. It sounds like that. Question: ”How do you relax?“ Answer: ”I am relaxed.“ The same goes for tensions in international affairs. We are not creating any problems for anyone. Are we the ones creating problems? No. Instead, we are being accused of things. They say that Russia was “highly likely” to have done this or that, intervened at one place and wreaked havoc at another. But, no one believes it is necessary to produce any evidence... the result of the internal political struggle in the Western world as a whole. Now they are fighting... and there is controversy... someone has apparently decided that playing the [[Anti-Russian sentiment|anti-Russia]] card would be a very convenient way to resolve domestic political problems. This is bad for everyone...

* Were our meetings with [[Donald Trump|President Trump]] harmful or helpful? I believe that, despite the attempt to discredit these meetings, they nevertheless were more positive than negative. ...it is better to communicate and interact with each other than, forgive my language, engage in a never-ending dogfight. Our meetings have hardly improved [[Politics of the United States|US domestic politics]], I guess. Probably because, again, there are those who are always trying to play this card in the domestic political struggle. I would say the incumbent president is geared to stabilise and level Russian-American relations. Let's see how the situation develops. We, in any case, are ready for this at any time... We have a comfortable professional dialogue with him... he reacts to the arguments I make. He may disagree with something I say, just as I would disagree with something he might say. We have different views... but this is a normal discussion between partners...

[[File:Russian Defense League.jpg|thumb|We are not afraid of anything. Given our territory, our defense system, and our people...Nobody can change these things, and this makes us certain that we can feel secure...]]
* Generally speaking, it is irresponsible to lead the world to the brink of a global crisis whose consequences are hard to foresee. We have never used such a policy, and we will not do so in the future.... We are not afraid of anything. Given our territory, our defense system, and our people that are ready to fight for independence and sovereignty — the willingness of our men and women to give up their lives for their country is not common among all nations. Nobody can change these things, and this makes us certain that we can feel secure...

* We are improving our attack systems as an answer to the United States building its missile defense system... Clearly, we have overtaken all our, so to speak, partners and competitors in this sphere, and this fact is acknowledged by the experts. No one has a high-precision hypersonic weapon...So, we feel confident in this sense.

* Crimea is our land... Even if someone decides to argue with me, the dispute will immediately come to a dead-end... Democracy is the power of the people. How is it exercised, this power of the people? It is exercised through referendums, elections and so on. People came to a referendum in Crimea and voted for independence, first, and then for being part of Russia....Let me remind you for the hundredth time that there was no referendum in Kosovo, only the parliament voted for independence, that was all. Everyone who wanted to support and destroy the former Yugoslavia said: well, thank God, we are fine with that... we proceed based on the will expressed by the people who live on that territory.

* Look, there are senior executives from our [[television]] company [[w:Russia_Today|Russia Today]] sitting across from me. What is happening in some countries where they operate? They are being banned. What does this mean? It means those who do so are afraid of the competition... Someone is making it hard for them. That means we are winning....We do not have global media like [[CNN]], [[Fox News]], BBC and so on... We have just one fairly modest channel. Even if it causes so much heartburn and fear of it being able to influence minds, then we are winning this competition...

* Our nuclear weapons doctrine does not provide for a pre-emptive strike.... there is no provision for a pre-emptive strike in our nuclear weapons doctrine. Our concept is based on a reciprocal counter strike. We are prepared and will use nuclear weapons only when we know for certain that some potential aggressor is attacking Russia...Only when we know for certain – and this takes a few seconds to understand – that Russia is being attacked we will deliver a counter strike. This would be a reciprocal counter strike. Why do I say ‘counter’? Because we will counter missiles flying towards us by sending a missile in the direction of an aggressor. Of course, this amounts to a global catastrophe but I would like to repeat that we cannot be the initiators of such a catastrophe... any aggressor should know that retaliation is inevitable and they will be annihilated. And we as the victims of an aggression, we as martyrs would go to paradise while they will simply perish because they won’t even have time to repent their sins.
*Man of his word. (About [https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recep_Tayyip_Erdo%C4%9Fan Erdoğan])

====2019====
* So the Jews have problems with finances, only such a thing could happen in Crimea.
** Quoted in [https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/putin-makes-joke-about-jews-and-money-speaks-hebrew-1.7041106 ''Putin Makes Joke About Jews and Money, Speaks Hebrew''] (20 March 2019)

[[File:STOP GLOBAL WARMING AND SAVE THE TREES.jpg|thumb|The fact that the Americans say they also want to contribute to solving environmental issues is a positive thing, in my view.]]
* Positions have been coordinated, except for the United States, which always has a special opinion. In fact, the US delegation was open about it from the outset. Everyone knows [[Presidency of Donald Trump|the current Administration]]’s stance on the [[Paris Agreement|Paris Accords]]. Nevertheless, all the other participants in the forum confirmed their readiness to implement the agreements under the Paris Accords.&lt;BR&gt; Actually, I think there is also a positive moment in the US position too, since the Americans said they were ready to work on the environmental agenda under their own programme. We have to read the final wording but the fact that the Americans say they also want to contribute to solving [[Environmentalism|environmental]] issues is a positive thing, in my view.&lt;br&gt;..&lt;br&gt;As to Russia, we spoke about it a number of times and we reaffirmed that at the forum again and also agreed on that in the final document. We are going to fully comply with our commitments. In the nearest future we will begin the ratification of these agreements and will conduct the necessary domestic procedures. These issues are highly relevant for us.&lt;BR&gt;I stated this at the last plenary session. Let me remind you that according to the Federal Service for Hydrometeorology and Environmental Monitoring, the warming in Russia is happening 2.5 times faster than the average [[global warming]]. This is a major challenge for us. We must realise that. This is the reason for floods, and for permafrost thawing in the areas where we have fairly big cities. We must be able to understand how to react to the climate changes underway there.&lt;br&gt;..&lt;br&gt;How can one imagine that in some European countries parents are told that “Girls should not wear skirts to school for safety reasons.” What is that? ...How did it get so far? ...It has gotten too far, in my view, that this, liberal idea starts destroying itself. It is true that we really have a very calm attitude towards the [[LGBT|LGBT community]]. Truly, it is calm and absolutely unbiased.&lt;br&gt;..&lt;br&gt;We have a law that everybody has been kicking us for – a law prohibiting homosexual propaganda among minors. But listen, let a person grow up, become an adult and then to decide who he or she is. Leave children in peace. There are so many inventions nowadays...they invented five or six genders, transformers, trans… I do not even understand what it is.&lt;br&gt;..&lt;br&gt;This is not the problem. The problem is that this part of society is aggressively imposing their view on the majority. We have to be more loyal to each other, more open and transparent... We have to respect everyone, that is true, but we must not impose our points of view on others. Meanwhile, representatives of the so-called [[Liberalism|liberal]] idea are simply forcing their ideas on others. They dictate the need for the so-called sex education. Parents are against it...
** [http://en.kremlin.ru/events/president/transcripts/60857 ''Vladimir Putin’s news conference, Transcript, Kremlin.ru,''] (29 June 2019)

[[File:Elton John Cannes 2019.jpg|thumb|... Elton John. I have deep respect for him, he is a genius of a musician. In reality he comes to Russia, and we all really enjoy listening to him. I think he is mistaken.]]
* Somebody came up with this idea of five or six genders... I don't even understand what they mean... I am not trying to insult anyone because we have been condemned for our alleged [[homophobia]]...but we have no problem with LGBT persons. God forbid, let them live as they wish. But some things do appear excessive to us. They claim now that children can play five or six gender roles.... Let everyone be happy... but this must not be allowed to overshadow the culture, traditions and traditional family values of millions of people making up the core population.&lt;BR&gt; Speaking of [[Elton John]], I respect him very much ... but I think he is mistaken. I didn't overstate anything, We have a law that everybody is angry at us because of the law that doesn't allow [[propaganda]] of homosexuals among underage population. Let's let the kids grow and then let them decide what they want to do.
** Quoted in [https://www.cnn.com/2019/06/29/entertainment/elton-john-slams-vladimir-putin-financial-times-interview-trnd/index.html ''Putin fires back at Elton John over gay rights in Russia, CNN,''] Christina Maxouris, (29 June 2019)

=== 2020s ===
====2020====
* The situation is under full control.
** Putin describing the status for the corononavirus pandemic in Russia, where thousands were dying. [http://kremlin.ru/events/president/news/63222 Easter greetings] (19 April 2020)

* The [[League of Nations]] also failed to prevent conflicts in various parts of the world, such as the attack of [[Italy]] on [[Ethiopia]], the [[Spanish Civil War|civil war]] in [[Spain]], the [[Japan during World War II|Japanese]] [[Second Sino-Japanese War|aggression]] against [[China]] and the ''[[w:Anschluss|Anschluss]]'' of [[Austria]]. Furthermore, in case of the Munich Betrayal that, in addition to [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]] and [[Benito Mussolini|Mussolini]] involved [[United Kingdom|British]] and [[France|French]] leaders, [[w:Czechoslovakia|Czechoslovakia]] was taken apart with the full approval of the League of Nations. I would like to point out in this regard that, unlike many other [[Europe|European]] leaders of that time, [[Joseph Stalin|Stalin]] did not disgrace himself by meeting with Hitler who was known among the Western nations as quite a reputable [[Politicians|politician]] and was a welcome guest in the European capitals.
** Quoted in [https://nationalinterest.org/feature/vladimir-putin-real-lessons-75th-anniversary-world-war-ii-162982 ''Vladimir Putin: The Real Lessons of the 75th Anniversary of World War II''], ''The National Interest'' (18 June 2020)

====2021====
* It is important to prevent terrorist infiltration into our neighboring countries. Even when they pretend to be refugees.
** [https://palnws.be/2021/08/poetin-wil-geen-afghaanse-migranten-opvangen-uit-vrees-voor-terrorisme-als-vluchteling-vermomde-strijders/ Putin does not want to receive Afghan migrants for fear of terrorism: “fighters disguised as refugees”]

* It is of course here, in [[w:Sevastopol|Sevastopol]], in [[Crimea]], that one gets the keenest sense of this live, indissociable bond. Sevastopol and Crimea are now with Russia and will stay with it forever, because this was the expression of the sovereign, free and uncompromising will of our entire people.
** [http://en.kremlin.ru/events/president/news/67065/print &quot;Greetings on National Unity Day&quot;] (4 November 2021)

*As we ring in the New Year, we hope that it will bring new opportunities for us. Of course, we hope luck will be on our side, but we understand that making our dreams reality primarily depends on us, on what we prioritise in our daily lives, on our ability to commit to our projects and achieve concrete, tangible results.
*New Year's Eve is literally filled with good cheer and happy thoughts, as we all try to put our best foot forward. This openness and generosity are the spirit of this wonderful holiday, when it is so important to warm parents’ hearts with kindness and loving care, to hug them if they are near you, and to tell everyone around you how dear they are to you and that happiness is all about love, children, family, and friends.
*But the real magic of the New Year is that it opens our hearts to empathy and trust, generosity and mercy.
*May love fill every heart and inspire us all to achieve our goals and scale the greatest heights. For the sake of our loved ones and for the sake of our only country, our great Motherland.
** [http://en.kremlin.ru/events/president/news/67514 &quot;New Year Address to the Nation&quot;] (31 December 2021)

===== [[w:On the Historical Unity of Russians and Ukrainians|On the Historical Unity of Russians and Ukrainians]] (12 July 2021) =====
:&lt;small&gt;[[s:On the Historical Unity of Russians and Ukrainians|On the Historical Unity of Russians and Ukrainians]]&lt;/small&gt;

* During the recent Direct Line, when I was asked about Russian-Ukrainian relations, I said that Russians and Ukrainians were one people — a single whole. These words were not driven by some short-term considerations or prompted by the current political context. It is what I have said on numerous occasions and what I firmly believe. I therefore feel it necessary to explain my position in detail and share my assessments of today’s situation. &lt;br /&gt; First of all, I would like to emphasize that the wall that has emerged in recent years between Russia and Ukraine, between the parts of what is essentially the same historical and spiritual space, to my mind is our great common misfortune and tragedy. These are, first and foremost, the consequences of our own mistakes made at different periods of time. But these are also the result of deliberate efforts by those forces that have always sought to undermine our unity. The formula they apply has been known from time immemorial — divide and rule. There is nothing new here. Hence the attempts to play on the &quot;national question&quot; and sow discord among people, the overarching goal being to divide and then to pit the parts of a single people against one another.

* In summer 1945, the historical act of the reunification of Carpathian Ukraine &quot;with its ancient motherland, Ukraine&quot; — as The Pravda newspaper put it — was announced. &lt;br /&gt; Therefore, modern Ukraine is entirely the product of the Soviet era. We know and remember well that it was shaped — for a significant part — on the lands of historical Russia. To make sure of that, it is enough to look at the boundaries of the lands reunited with the Russian state in the 17th century and the territory of the Ukrainian SSR when it left the Soviet Union.

* Ukraine and Russia have developed as a single economic system over decades and centuries. The profound cooperation we had 30 years ago is an example for the European Union to look up to. We are natural complementary economic partners. Such a close relationship can strengthen competitive advantages, increasing the potential of both countries. &lt;br /&gt; Ukraine used to possess great potential, which included powerful infrastructure, gas transportation system, advanced shipbuilding, aviation, rocket and instrument engineering industries, as well as world-class scientific, design and engineering schools. Taking over this legacy and declaring independence, Ukrainian leaders promised that the Ukrainian economy would be one of the leading ones and the standard of living would be among the best in Europe. &lt;br /&gt; Today, high-tech industrial giants that were once the pride of Ukraine and the entire Union, are sinking.

* We [[respect]] Ukrainians' [[desire]] to see their country [[free]], [[safe]] and [[prosperous]]. &lt;br /&gt; I am [[confident]] that true [[sovereignty]] of [[Ukraine]] is possible [[Servitude|only in partnership]] with [[Russia]]. Our [[spiritual]], [[human]] and [[Civilization|civilizational]] ties formed for centuries and have their origins in the same sources, they have been hardened by common trials, achievements and victories. Our [[kinship]] has been transmitted from generation to generation. It is in the [[hearts]] and the [[memory]] of people living in modern Russia and Ukraine, in the blood ties that unite millions of our families. Together we have always been and will be many times [[stronger]] and more [[successful]]. For we are one people. &lt;br /&gt; Today, these [[words]] may be perceived by some people with [[hostility]]. They can be interpreted in many possible ways. Yet, many [[people]] will hear me. And I will say one thing — [[Lies|Russia has never been and will never be &quot;anti-Ukraine&quot;.]] And what Ukraine will be — [[w:2022 Ukrainian Kharkiv counteroffensive|it is up to its citizens to decide]].

==== 2022 ====
[[File:Emmanuel Macron and Vladimir Putin (2019-06) 02.jpg|thumb|Do you realize that if Ukraine joins NATO and decides to take Crimea back through military means, the European countries will automatically get drawn into a military conflict with Russia? Of course, NATO’s united potential and that of Russia are incomparable. We understand that, but we also understand that Russia is one of the world’s leading nuclear powers, and is superior to many of those countries in terms of the number of modern nuclear force components. But there will be no winners]]

* “You may like it, you may not, but you’ll have to endure it, my beauty.”
** Quoting either Russian folklore or necrophiliac punk rock lyrics, in reference to Volodymyr Zelenskyy’s presumed attitude to the Minsk agreements, during a press conference with President of France [[Emmanuel Macron|Macron]] on February 8, 2022. («Нравится, не нравится – терпи, моя красавица».)[http://kremlin.ru/events/president/news/67735] Translation from [https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2022/02/vladimir-putin-dirty-language-cursing/622924/ “What’s Behind Putin’s Dirty, Violent Speeches.” ''The Atlantic''], February 17, 2022.

*Why is [[Ukraine]]’s potential admission into [[NATO]] dangerous? The problem does exist. For example, European countries, including [[France]], believe that Crimea is part of Ukraine, but we think that it is part of the Russian Federation. And what happens if attempts are made to change this situation by military means? Bear in mind that Ukraine’s doctrines declare Russia an adversary and state the possibility of regaining Crimea, even using military force. Just imagine what could happen if Ukraine were a NATO member. [[W:Treaty of Rome|Article 5]] has not been canceled. On the contrary, Mr. Biden, the President of the United States, has said recently that [[W:Treaty of Rome|Article 5]] is a sacred obligation and will be honored. This is fraught with a military confrontation between Russia and NATO… &lt;BR&gt;Ask your readers, your audiences, and the users of online resources, ‘Do you want France to fight against Russia?’ Because this is how it will be….
**Quoted from press conference with President of France [[Emmanuel Macron|Macron]] on February 8, 2022, in [https://schillerinstitute.com/blog/2022/02/09/putin-asks-does-nato-really-want-to-fight-nuclear-power-russia/ Putin Asks: Does NATO Really Want To Fight Nuclear Power Russia? ''The International Schiller Institute''], (February 9, 2022)

*Do you realize that if Ukraine joins NATO and decides to take Crimea back through military means, the European countries will automatically get drawn into a military conflict with Russia? Of course, NATO’s united potential and that of Russia are incomparable. We understand that, but we also understand that Russia is one of the world’s leading nuclear powers, and is superior to many of those countries in terms of the number of modern nuclear force components. But there will be no winners, and you will find yourself drawn into this conflict against your will. You will be fulfilling Paragraph 5 of the [[W:Treaty establishing the European Economic Community)|Treaty of Rome]] in a heartbeat, even before you know it. Of course, the [[Emmanuel Macron|President]] does not want to see developments unfold in this way. I do not want it, either. That is why he is here and has been tormenting me for six hours now with his questions, guarantees, and solutions.&lt;BR&gt;I believe his is a lofty mission, and I am grateful to him for his efforts. For our part, we will do our best to find compromises that suit everyone. There is not a single point that we consider unachievable in the proposals we sent to NATO and Washington.
**Quoted from press conference with President of France [[Emmanuel Macron|Macron]] on February 8, 2022,in [https://schillerinstitute.com/blog/2022/02/09/putin-asks-does-nato-really-want-to-fight-nuclear-power-russia/ Putin Asks: Does NATO Really Want To Fight Nuclear Power Russia? ''The International Schiller Institute''], (February 9, 2022)

* Ukraine actually never had stable traditions of real statehood.
* We want those who seized and continue to hold power in Kiev to immediately stop hostilities. Otherwise, the responsibility for the possible continuation of the bloodshed will lie entirely on the conscience of Ukraine’s ruling regime.
** Address by the President of the Russian Federation ''en.kremlin.ru/events/president/news/67828'' (21 February 2022)

&lt;i&gt; About the Russian invasion of Ukraine: &lt;/i&gt;
* We had no other way of proceeding.
* Whoever tries to interfere with us, and even more so, to create threats for our country, for our people should know that Russia's response will be immediate and will lead you to such consequences that you have never experienced in your history.
** [https://www.newsweek.com/vladimir-putin-no-other-way-defend-russia-other-invading-ukraine-1682406 &quot;Vladimir Putin: 'No Other Way' to Defend Russia Other Than Invading Ukraine&quot;], Newsweek, 24 February 2022

* Even after the dissolution of the USSR and losing a considerable part of its capabilities, today’s Russia remains one of the most powerful nuclear states.
** [https://apnews.com/article/russia-ukraine-vladimir-putin-europe-poland-nuclear-weapons-2503c0d7696a57db4f437c90d3894b18 &quot;Putin waves nuclear sword in confrontation with the West&quot;], Associated Press, 24 February 2022

* We will strive for the demilitarization and [[Denazification|de-Nazification]] of Ukraine.
** [https://www.vox.com/2022/2/24/22948944/putin-ukraine-nazi-russia-speech-declare-war &quot;Putin’s 'Nazi' rhetoric reveals his terrifying war aims in Ukraine&quot;], Vox, 24 February 2022

* Our plans do not include the occupation of Ukrainian territories. We are not going to impose anything on anyone by force.
** [http://www.xinhuanet.com/english/20220224/5670436eb69e47c78d9c23428b1ffdce/c.html &quot;Putin authorizes &quot;special military operation&quot; in Donbass&quot;], Xinhuanet, 24 February 2022

*I want to remind those who allow themselves such statements about Russia, that our country has a variety of weapons of destruction, and in some areas even more modern than those in NATO Countries. We will without question use all the means at our disposal to protect Russia and our People. This is not a bluff.
**[https://www.theguardian.com/world/video/2022/sep/21/not-bluffing-putin-accuses-west-nuclear-blackmail-video/''Im not Bluffing on Nukes'' says Putin]

* Our goal is something else—to unite the Russian people.
** {{cite news |title=Putin Says West Aiming to Tear Apart Russia |publisher=Voice of America |url=https://www.voanews.com/a/putin-says-west-aiming-to-tear-apart-russia-/6890771.html |date=2022-12-25 |accessdate=2022-12-28 |postscript=. From a TV interview, 25 Dec 2022}}

[[File: Vladimir Putin (2021-02-27).jpg|thumb|[To the] ...Ukrainian Armed Forces. Comrade officers, Your fathers, grandfathers and great-grandfathers did not fight the Nazi occupiers and did not defend our common Motherland to allow today’s neo-Nazis to seize power in Ukraine. You swore the oath of allegiance to the Ukrainian people and not to the junta, the people’s adversary which is plundering Ukraine and humiliating the Ukrainian people.... I urge you to immediately lay down arms and go home.]]
[[File:Flag of the President of Russia.svg|thumb|We can see that the forces that staged the [[W:2014 Ukrainian coup|coup in Ukraine in 2014]] have seized power, are keeping it with the help of ornamental election procedures and have abandoned the path of a peaceful conflict settlement.]]

===== [[w:On conducting a special military operation|On conducting a &quot;special military operation&quot; in Ukraine]] (24 February 2022) =====
:&lt;small&gt;Public assertions made about his motivations and decision to initiate the [[Russian invasion of Ukraine|2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine]] · [http://en.kremlin.ru/events/president/news/67843 Full text online] · [https://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/vladimirputinrussianmilitarycampaignukraine.htm alternate site] · [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qS6J-WbTD8 Video with English subtitles&quot; (24 February 2022)] &lt;/small&gt;

* I will begin with what I said in my address on February 21, 2022. I spoke about our biggest concerns and worries, and about the fundamental threats which irresponsible Western politicians created for Russia consistently, rudely and unceremoniously from year to year. I am referring to the [[W:Enlargement of NATO|eastward expansion of NATO]], which is moving its military infrastructure ever closer to the Russian border. It is a fact that over the past 30 years we have been patiently trying to come to an agreement with the leading NATO countries regarding the principles of equal and indivisible security in Europe.&lt;BR&gt;In response to our proposals, we invariably faced either cynical deception and lies or attempts at pressure and blackmail, while the North Atlantic alliance continued to expand despite our protests and concerns. Its military machine... is approaching our very border. Why is this happening? Where did this insolent manner of talking down from the height of their exceptionalism, infallibility and all-permissiveness come from? What is the explanation for this contemptuous and disdainful attitude to our interests and absolutely legitimate demands.&lt;BR&gt;Entreaties and requests do not help. Anything that does not suit the dominant state, the powers that be, is denounced as archaic, obsolete and useless. At the same time, everything it regards as useful is presented as the ultimate truth and forced on others regardless of the cost, abusively and by any means available. Those who refuse to comply are subjected to strong-arm tactics.

*Russia is not the only country that is worried about this. This has to do with the entire system of international relations, and sometimes even US allies. The collapse of the Soviet Union led to a redivision of the world, and the norms of [[international law]] that developed by that time – and the most important of them, the fundamental norms that were adopted [[Aftermath of World War II|following WWII]] and largely formalised its outcome – came in the way of those who declared themselves the winners of the [[Cold War]]. &lt;BR&gt;...we saw a state of euphoria created by the feeling of absolute superiority, a kind of modern [[absolutism]], coupled with the low cultural standards and arrogance of those who formulated and pushed through decisions that suited only themselves. The situation took a different turn. &lt;BR&gt;There are many examples of this. First [[Kosovo War|a bloody military operation]] was waged against [[Belgrade]], without the [[UN Security Council]]’s sanction but with combat aircraft and missiles used in the heart of Europe. The bombing of peaceful cities and vital infrastructure went on for several weeks. I have to recall these facts, because some Western colleagues prefer to forget them, and when we mentioned the event, they prefer to avoid speaking about international law... &lt;BR&gt;Then came the turn of [[Iraq]], [[Libya]] and [[Syria]]. The illegal use of military power against Libya and the distortion of all the UN Security Council decisions on Libya ruined the state, created a huge seat of international terrorism, and pushed the country towards a humanitarian catastrophe, into the vortex of a civil war, which has continued there for years.... A similar fate was also prepared for Syria. The combat operations conducted by the Western coalition in that country without the Syrian government’s approval or UN Security Council’s sanction can only be defined as aggression and intervention... But the example that stands apart from the above events is, of course, the invasion of [[Iraq War|Iraq]] without any legal grounds.

*Overall, it appears that nearly everywhere, in many regions of the world where the United States brought its law and order, this created bloody, non-healing wounds and the curse of international terrorism and extremism. I have only mentioned the most glaring but far from only examples of disregard for [[International law|international law.]]&lt;BR&gt; This array includes promises not to expand NATO eastwards even by an inch. To reiterate: they have deceived us, or, to put it simply, they have played us... This type of con-artist behaviour is contrary not only to the principles of international relations but also and above all to the generally accepted norms of morality and ethics. Where is justice and truth here? Just lies and hypocrisy all around.

*Incidentally, US [[politicians]], [[Political science|political scientists]] and [[Journalism|journalists]] write and say that a veritable &quot;empire of lies&quot; has been created inside the United States in recent years. It is hard to disagree with this – it is really so. But one should not be modest about it: the United States is still a great country and a system-forming power. All its satellites not only humbly and obediently say yes to and parrot it at the slightest pretext but also imitate its behaviour and enthusiastically accept the rules it is offering them. Therefore, one can say with good reason and confidence that the whole so-called Western bloc formed by the United States in its own image and likeness is, in its entirety, the very same &quot;empire of lies&quot;.

*Properly speaking, the attempts to use us in their own interests never ceased until quite recently: they sought to destroy our traditional values and force on us their false values that would erode us, our people from within, the attitudes they have been aggressively imposing on their countries, attitudes that are directly leading to degradation and degeneration, because they are contrary to [[human nature]]. This is not going to happen. No one has ever succeeded in doing this, nor will they succeed now.

*With NATO’s eastward expansion the situation for Russia has been becoming worse and more dangerous by the year. Moreover, these past days NATO leadership has been blunt in its statements that they need to accelerate and step up efforts to bring the alliance’s infrastructure closer to Russia’s borders. In other words, they have been toughening their position. We cannot stay idle and passively observe these developments. This would be an absolutely irresponsible thing to do for us.

*For the United States and its allies, it is a policy of containing Russia, with obvious geopolitical dividends. For our country, it is a matter of life and death, a matter of our historical future as a nation. This is not an exaggeration; this is a fact. It is not only a very real threat to our interests but to the very existence of our state and to its sovereignty. It is the red line which we have spoken about on numerous occasions. They have crossed it.

*We can see that the forces that staged the coup in Ukraine in 2014 have seized power, are keeping it with the help of ornamental election procedures and have abandoned the path of a peaceful conflict settlement. For eight years, for eight endless years we have been doing everything possible to settle the situation by peaceful political means.

*I would also like to address the military personnel of the Ukrainian Armed Forces. Comrade officers, Your fathers, grandfathers and great-grandfathers did not fight the Nazi occupiers and did not defend our common Motherland to allow today’s [[neo-Nazis]] to seize power in Ukraine. You swore the oath of allegiance to the Ukrainian people and not to the junta, the people’s adversary which is plundering Ukraine and humiliating the Ukrainian people. I urge you to refuse to carry out their criminal orders. I urge you to immediately lay down arms and go home. The military personnel of the Ukrainian army who do this will be able to freely leave the zone of hostilities and return to their families...

*I want to emphasize again that all responsibility for the possible bloodshed will lie fully and wholly with the ruling Ukrainian regime.

*At the end of the day, the future of Russia is in the hands of its multi-ethnic people, as has always been the case in our history. This means that the decisions that I made will be executed, that we will achieve the goals we have set, and reliably guarantee the security of our Motherland.

*I believe in your support and the invincible force rooted in the love for our Fatherland.

&lt;hr&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
&lt;i&gt; About Russian nuclear weapons: &lt;/i&gt;
* Not only do Western countries take unfriendly measures against our countries in the economic dimension, I mean the illegal [[Economic sanctions|sanctions]] that everyone knows about very well, but also the top officials of leading NATO countries allow themselves to make aggressive statements with regards to our country. That is why I order the defense minister and chief of the general staff to put Russian deterrence forces on high combat alert.
** [https://www.theguardian.com/world/video/2022/feb/27/vladimir-putin-puts-russian-nuclear-forces-on-high-alert-video &quot;Vladimir Putin puts Russian nuclear forces on high alert – video&quot;], 27 February 2022
&lt;br&gt;

* The Western community, which I called 'the empire of lies', is trying to impose [[Economic sanctions|sanctions]] on our country.
** [https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/world/europe/putin-calls-west-an-empire-of-lies-after-sanctions-imposed/articleshow/89899775.cms &quot;&quot;Russia reels from sanctions as Putin calls West 'empire of lies'&quot;], The Times of India, 28 February 2022

* Russia is open to dialogue with the Ukrainian side, as well as with everyone who wants peace in Ukraine. But under the condition that all Russian demands are met.
** [https://www.moneycontrol.com/news/world/vladimir-putin-says-ready-for-ukraine-dialogue-if-all-russian-demands-met-8195531.html &quot;Vladimir Putin says ready for Ukraine dialogue if 'all Russian demands' met&quot;], AFP/Moneycontrol, 4 March 2022

* I want to emphasize once again. We have no ill intentions towards our neighbors, and I would advise them not to escalate the situation, nor to introduce any restrictions.
* All our actions, if they arise, always arise exclusively in response to unfriendly actions against Russia.
* We do not see any need here to escalate the situation or worsen our relations.
** [https://www.newsweek.com/russia-ukraine-putin-intentions-war-zelensky-1684887 &quot;Vladimir Putin Says Russia Has 'No Ill Intentions,' Pleads for No More Sanctions&quot;], Newsweek, 4 March 2022

* I think everyone should think about normalising relations and cooperating normally.
** [https://news.yahoo.com/putin-says-no-ill-intention-145603868.html &quot;Putin says he has 'no ill intention' toward Russia's neighbors as his troops are accused of war crimes in Ukraine&quot;], Yahoo News, 4 March 2022

* It’s apparent that organizing an economic blitzkrieg against Russia and demoralizing our society, taking us by force, didn’t work.
** [https://www.thedailybeast.com/putin-russian-troops-killing-ukrainian-kids-are-heroes &quot;Putin: Russian Troops Killing Ukrainian Kids Are Heroes&quot;], Daily Beast, 16 March 2022

* [Russians] will always be able to distinguish true patriots from scum and traitors and will simply spit them out like a gnat that accidentally flew into their mouths. I am convinced that such a natural and necessary self-purification of society will only strengthen our country.
** [https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2022/3/17/scum-and-traitors-vladimir-putin-threatens-anti-war-russians &quot;‘Scum and traitors’: Vladimir Putin threatens anti-war Russians&quot;], Al Jazeera, 17 March 2022

* It is difficult for us at the moment. Russian financial companies, major enterprises, small and medium-sized businesses are facing unprecedented pressure.
* Clearly, in the new realities, we will have to make deep structural changes in our economy, and I will not pretend that they will be easy or that they will not lead to a temporary increase in [[inflation]] and [[unemployment]].
** [https://www.facebook.com/TheYoungTurks/videos/916021115735998 &quot;Putin Calls For PURGE Of Pro-Western Russians&quot;], The Young Turks, Facebook, 20 March 2022

* When they won the Cold War, the US declared themselves God's own representatives on earth, people who have no responsibilities -- only interests. They have declared those interests sacred. Now it's one-way traffic, which makes the world unstable.
** [https://edition.cnn.com/2022/06/17/europe/russia-president-vladimir-putin-speech-spief-intl/index.html &quot;Putin lambasts the West and declares the end of 'the era of the unipolar world'&quot;], CNN, 17 June 2022

* What is the [[Soviet Union]]? It’s [[History of Russia|historical Russia]].
** [https://news.yahoo.com/putin-considers-entire-soviet-union-170032123.html &quot;Putin considers entire Soviet Union to be historical Russian territory&quot;], Yahoo News/RIA Novosti, 17 June 2022

* There is nothing that could bother us about [[Sweden]] and [[Finland]] joining NATO. If Finland and Sweden wish to, they can join. That's up to them. They can join whatever they want.
* Our army does not attack any civilian infrastructure site. We have every capability of knowing what is situated where
** [https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10967023/Putin-insists-DOESNT-care-Finland-Sweden-join-NATO-denied-bombing-Ukrainian-mall.html &quot;Humiliated Putin scrambles to save face as Sweden and Finland join NATO: Russian leader says countries 'can join whatever they like' - and attacks the bloc's 'imperialist ambitions'&quot;], Daily Mail, 29 June 2022

* The West is degenerating into [[totalitarianism]].
** [https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world/putin-challenges-the-west-to-take-on-russias-army-declaring-they-want-to-beat-us-let-them-try/ar-AAZkt76 &quot;Putin challenges the West to take on Russia's army, declaring 'They want to beat us - let them try'&quot;], MSN, 7 July 2022

* We have not lost anything and will not lose anything.
* Of course, a certain polarisation is taking place, both in the world and within the country, but I believe that this will only be beneficial, because everything that is unnecessary, harmful and... prevents us from moving forward will be rejected.
** Said about the [[2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine]] and the Western sanctions imposed in order to make Russia stop attacking, quoted in [https://news.sky.com/story/ukraine-war-vladimir-putin-claims-russia-hasnt-lost-anything-and-didnt-start-military-operations-12691800 &quot;Vladimir Putin claims Russia hasn't 'lost anything' in Ukraine war and didn't 'start military operations'&quot;], Sky News, 7 September 2022

* The [[dictatorship]] of the Western elites is directed against all societies, including the peoples of the Western countries themselves. This is a challenge to all.
* This is a complete denial of humanity, the overthrow of faith and traditional values. Indeed, the suppression of freedom itself has taken on the features of a religion: outright [[Satan|Satanism]].
** [https://www.newsweek.com/putin-chief-exorcist-kremlin-desatanization-ukraine-security-council-1754912 &quot;Putin Appointed 'Chief Exorcist' as Kremlin Whips up Satanic Panic&quot;], Newsweek, 26 October 2022

* You know this very well: we have always treated the Ukrainian people with respect and warmth. So it was and so it is, despite today's tragic confrontation.
** [http://kremlin.ru/events/president/news/69781 &quot;Встреча с историками и представителями традиционных религий России&quot;] (Russian; &quot;Meeting with historians and representatives of traditional religions of Russia&quot;), Kremlin, 4. november 2022

* We share your pain
** Putin to mothers of soldiers killed in the [[Ukraine]] [caption on [[CNN]]-[[The Situation Room]] with [[Wolf Blitzer]]] (earlier today) also on [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNF43XeUojk Youtube] in [[Russian]]

* There's a lot of noise right now about our strikes against the energy infrastructure of the neighbouring country. Yes, we are doing it, but who started it? Who struck the Crimean bridge? Who blew up the power lines to the Kursk Nuclear Power Station? Who is not providing water to Donetsk? Not providing water to a city with 1 million population is an act of genocide.
** [https://www.newsweek.com/new-video-sparks-speculation-about-drunk-putin-1765772?fbclid=IwAR0YWSNt9TxW4ApdV12X6DK_3WynoL3qGPTMP43t9uhGkO8TsOggYDwuf-c &quot;New Video Sparks Speculation About 'Drunk' Putin&quot;], Newsweek, 8 December 2022

* You can't trust anyone, just me.
** [https://www.mk.ru/politics/2022/12/09/putin-verit-nikomu-nelzya-tolko-mne-mozhno.html &quot;Путин: «Верить никому нельзя, только мне можно»&quot;], Moscow's Komsomolets, 9 December 2022

* Our goal is not to spin the flywheel of military conflict, but, on the contrary, to end this '''war'''.
** [https://edition.cnn.com/2022/12/22/europe/putin-uses-word-war-fighting-ukraine-russia-intl-hnk/index.html &quot;For first known time in public, Putin calls fighting in Ukraine a ‘war’&quot;], CNN, 23 December 2022

==== 2023 ====
* The sanctions imposed against the Russian economy in the medium term could really have a negative impact.
** [https://www.ndtv.com/world-news/vladimir-putin-says-sanctions-could-have-negative-impact-on-russia-3904798 &quot;Vladimir Putin Says Sanctions Could Have &quot;Negative Impact&quot; On Russia&quot;], NDTV (30 March 2023)

* We do not intend to isolate ourselves from anyone, we have no preconceived or what's more hostile intentions towards anyone.
** [https://www.wionews.com/world/russia-doesnt-want-to-isolate-itself-is-open-to-global-partnership-says-putin-579612 &quot;Russia doesn't want to isolate itself, is open to global partnership, says Putin&quot;], WIO News (6 April 2023)

* The T-90M Proryv is the world’s best tank. As soon as it approaches positions, no chance is left for anyone or anything.
** [https://tass.com/politics/1631579 &quot;Putin calls T-90M Proryv world’s best main battle tank&quot;], ''TASS'' (June 13, 2023)

* Anyone who consciously goes along the path of betrayal, who is prepared for armed mutiny, and takes the course of blackmail and terrorist actions, will receive an inevitable punishment.
* Those who have been pulled into the crime, I'm asking you not to make this crucial, tragic, unrepeatable mistake [...] Make the right choice and stop participating in criminal actions.
* As President of Russia and the Supreme Commander, as a citizen of Russia, I will do everything to defend the country, protect the Constitution, lives and safety, liberty of our citizens.
* We fight for the lives and security of our people. For our sovereignty and independence [...] The right to remain as Russia, a state with a 1,000 years of history.
* Our external enemies are using any arguments to undermine us from within [...] Thus, actions splitting our unity is a betrayal of our people, our combat brothers who fight now at the frontline. It's a dagger in the back of our country and our people.
** Speech delivered on Russian television (24 June 2023) on the [[w:Wagner Group rebellion|rebellion]] led by [[Yevgeny Prigozhin]] and the [[w:Wagner Group|Wagner Group]], as cited in [https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2023/06/24/putin-prigozhin-wagner-coup-russia-ukraine-punish-traitors/ &quot;Putin vows to brutally punish 'traitor' Prigozhin and his Wagner mercenaries&quot;] ''The Telegraph'' (24 June 2023)
** In some reports, &quot;dagger in the back&quot; was rendered as &quot;[[w:Stab-in-the-back myth|stab in the back]]&quot;.

* The maintenance of the entire Wagner group was fully provided for by the state.
** Comment (27 June 2023) quoted in [https://edition.cnn.com/2023/07/14/europe/russia-putin-wagner-prigozhin-tensions-intl/index.html &quot;Wagner ‘does not exist’: Why Putin claims a rift in the mercenary group&quot;], ''CNN'' (14 July 2023)

* [[w:Wagner Group|Wagner PMC]] does not exist. We do not have a law for private military organizations. It simply does not exist.
* There is no such legal entity.
** Comment (13 July 2023) quoted in [https://edition.cnn.com/2023/07/14/europe/russia-putin-wagner-prigozhin-tensions-intl/index.html &quot;Wagner ‘does not exist’: Why Putin claims a rift in the mercenary group&quot;], ''CNN'' (14 July 2023)

* Western curators have put [[Volodymyr Zelenskyy|a person]] at the head of modern Ukraine - an ethnic Jew, with Jewish roots, with Jewish origins.&lt;br /&gt;And thus, in my opinion, they seem to be covering up an anti-human essence that is the foundation... of the modern Ukrainian state.&lt;br /&gt;And this makes the whole situation extremely disgusting, in that an ethnic Jew is covering up the glorification of Nazism and covering up those who led [[the Holocaust]] in Ukraine at one time - and this is the extermination of one and a half million people.
** In an appearance on Russian television (5 September 2023), as quoted in [https://www.thejc.com/news/world/putin-claims-zelensky-was-put-in-office-by-the-west-to-cover-up-glorification-of-nazism-5HnmWH8aA38d4bU0PTi1K1 &quot;Putin claims Zelensky was put in office by the West to 'cover up glorification of Nazism'&quot;], ''[[w:The Jewish Chronicle|The Jewish Chronicle]]'' (6 September 2023).
** [[w:Mykhailo Podolyak|Mykhailo Podolyak]], an advisor to the president of Ukraine, said Putin is &quot;disgusting when he tries to justify mass crimes against citizens of another country with a monstrous lie&quot;.

* It is not right to do anything in foreign policy that harms the interests of other peoples.
** Said about the [[Soviet Union]] sending tanks into [[w:Hungarian Revolution of 1956|Budapest in 1956]] and into [[w:Warsaw Pact invasion of Czechoslovakia|Prague in 1968]], as quoted in [https://www.reuters.com/world/europe/putin-sending-soviet-tanks-into-hungary-czechoslovakia-was-mistake-2023-09-12/ &quot;Putin: sending Soviet tanks into Hungary and Czechoslovakia was a mistake&quot;], ''Reuters'' (12 September 2023)

* We did not start the so-called war in Ukraine. On the contrary - we are trying to finish it.
** Claimed without providing evidence, at a meeting of the Valdai Discussion Club in Sochi, as cited in [https://www.jpost.com/international/article-761849 &quot;Vladimir Putin: West has lost touch with reality, Russia pushing back&quot;], ''The Jerusalem Post'' (Reuters, 5 October 2023)

* The terrifying events happening right now in Gaza, where hundreds of thousands of totally innocent people are being killed without differentiation, unable to flee, cannot be justified in any way.
** [https://www.ft.com/content/3da1eb7b-318c-41f2-8ec3-07e19bdcbb59 &quot;What antisemitic attacks in Dagestan say about Vladimir Putin’s Russia&quot;], ''Financial Times'' (30 October 2023) (No details or proof were given regarding the claim about &quot;hundreds of thousands&quot; that are &quot;being killed&quot;)

*[About the death of [[Henry Kissinger]] ] An outstanding diplomat, a wise and far-sighted statesman who enjoyed well-deserved respect around the world for decades, has passed away.
**[http://en.kremlin.ru/events/president/news/72875 Condolences over the passing of Henry Kissinger]

* There will be peace when we will achieve our goals.
** Said in annual Q&amp;A session, quoted in [https://apnews.com/article/putin-russia-press-conference-moscow-ukraine-ef4e88fda50e6ad75b8a1979b95d9fcc &quot;Putin says there will be no peace in Ukraine until Russia’s goals, still unchanged, are achieved&quot;], ''AP News'' (14 December 2023)

==== 2024 ====
*The [[CIA]] did its job to complete the coup &lt;nowiki&gt;[&lt;/nowiki&gt;[[Euromaidan]]&lt;nowiki&gt;]&lt;/nowiki&gt;. I think one of the Deputy Secretaries of State said that it cost a large sum of money, almost 5 billion dollars. But the political mistake was colossal! Why would they have to do that? All this could have been done legally, without victims, without military action, without losing Crimea. We would have never considered to even lift a finger if it hadn’t been for the bloody developments on Maidan. Because we agreed with the fact that after the collapse of the Soviet Union our borders should be along the borders of former Union’s republics. We agreed to that. But we never agreed to NATO’s expansion and moreover we never agreed that Ukraine would be in NATO. We did not agree to NATO bases there without any discussion with us. For decades we kept urging them: don’t do this, don’t do that.
** [http://en.kremlin.ru/events/president/news/73411 Interview to Tucker Carlson], (February 9, 2024)

* What kind of negotiations can we talk about with people who indiscriminately strike civilians, civilian infrastructure and try to endanger nuclear power facilities?
** [https://english.pravda.ru/news/hotspots/160336-putin-kursk-ukraine/ &quot;Putin: It makes no sense to talk to those who strike civilians&quot;], Pravdareport (August 12, 2024)
* No one seems to consider whether Europeans want to jeopardise their relationship with China by getting involved in Asian affairs through NATO, creating a situation that raises concerns among regional countries, including China. I can assure you that they do not want this. Yet, they are being pulled into this, like small dogs on a leash pulled by a big fellow.
* Let me remind you once again: back in 2014, the Western countries led by the US organised, or at least supported, [[Revolution_of_Dignity|a coup d'etat]]. This is what sparked the crisis. Then, NATO has been pushed into it for many years. This is how the crisis began. And the war began in 2014, too, because they launched armed actions involving armed forces against people who didn’t accept the coup. So the war broke out in 2014.
** &quot;Meeting with journalists from BRICS countries (''en.kremlin.ru/events/president/news/75349'')&quot;, Novo-Ogaryovo, Moscow Region (October 18, 2024)

Č====2025====
*[About Ukrainians] They will not exist for a month if the money and, in a broad sense, run out. Everything would be over in a month or two.
**As quoted in ''[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thwnrCmiQ94 Putin Refuses Talks With 'Illegitimate' Zelensky, Threatens Kyiv | 'It Won't Exist If West's...']'', ''[[w:en:Times of India|Times of India]]'' (January 28, 2025)

*If ([[Zelensky]]) wants to participate in the negotiations, I will allocate people to take part in the negotiations. [He is] an illegitimate [leader]. If there is a desire to negotiate and find a compromise, let anyone lead the negotiations there... Naturally, we will strive for what suits us, what corresponds to our interests.
** As quoted in ''[https://thepeninsulaqatar.com/article/28/01/2025/putin-says-talks-with-ukraine-possible-but-not-illegitimate-with-zelensky Putin says talks with Ukraine possible, but not with 'illegitimate' Zelensky]'', ''[[w:en:The Peninsula (newspaper)|The Peninsula]]'' (January 28, 2025)

* Russians and Ukrainians are one people. In this sense, all of Ukraine is ours. There’s an old rule that wherever a Russian soldier sets foot, that’s ours.
* Now we are forced to create a security zone along the border.  We're not planning to take Sumy. But I do not rule it out.
** [https://meduza.io/en/news/2025/06/20/wherever-a-russian-soldier-sets-foot-that-s-ours-vladimir-putin-declares &quot;‘Wherever a Russian soldier sets foot, that’s ours,’ Vladimir Putin declares&quot;] ''Meduza'' (June 22, 2025)

* ''About the possibility of having peacekeeping troops from Western countries stationed in Ukraine:  
: If some troops appear there, especially now, during military operations, we proceed from the fact that these will be legitimate targets for destruction.
:* [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2025/sep/05/western-troops-ukraine-legitimate-targets-vladimir-putin-says &quot;Western troops in Ukraine would be ‘legitimate targets’, Putin says&quot;] ''The Guardian'' (September 5, 2025)

=== 2026 ===
* We are all going through everything that’s happening in the Ukrainian direction right now. But how did it all start? With Ukraine’s attempt to join the EU.
** [https://www.euractiv.com/news/putin-says-armenia-eu-membership-referendum-would-be-logical/ &quot;Putin says Armenia EU membership referendum would be 'logical'&quot;] ''Euractiv'' (May 10, 2026)

{{misattributed begin}}

== Misattributed ==
* To forgive the terrorists is up to God, but to send them to him is up to me.
** [http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/world/rest-of-world/Guess-what-Vladimir-Putin-never-said/articleshow/49846646.cms &quot;Guess what Vladimir Putin never said&quot;], ''The Times of India'' (19 November 2015)
{{misattributed end}}

== Quotes about Putin ==
:&lt;small&gt;Alphabetized by author or source &lt;/small&gt;&lt;!-- this should be PRIMARY organization, and THEN chronologically, if there are multiple statements by an author or source — this  has currently NOT been followed — resulting in a VERY CONFUSING MESS of attempts to organize diverse and scattered comments from multiple authors and sources chronologically and then GEOGRAPHICALLY — I currently do NOT have time to reorganize this now — but may do so within a few weeks if no one else is interested in doing so. ~ Kalki 2025·08·31  --&gt; 
[[File:Bush&amp;Putin33rdG8.jpg|thumb|I looked the man in the eye. I found him to be very straightforward and trustworthy. ~ [[George W. Bush]]]]

===2000s===
* '''Putin’s control of the media is becoming more and more comprehensive. What is left over, that ownership does not ensure, self-censorship increasingly neuters. The ''[[Gleichschaltung]]'' of parliament and political parties is, if anything, even more impressive.''' The presidential party, United Russia, and its assorted allies, with no more specific programme than unconditional support for Putin, command some 70 per cent of the seats in the Duma, enough to rewrite the constitution if that were required. But a one-party state is not in the offing. On the contrary, mindful of the rules of any self-respecting democracy, the Kremlin’s political technicians are now putting together an opposition party designed to clear the bedraggled remnants of [[Communism]] — [[liberalism]] has already been expunged — from the political scene, and provide a decorative pendant to the governing party in the next parliament.
** [[Perry Anderson]], in [https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v29/n02/perry-anderson/russia-s-managed-democracy &quot;Russia’s Managed Democracy&quot;, ''London Review of Books'' Vol. 29 No. 2 (25 January 2007)]

* I looked the man in the eye. I found him to be very straightforward and trustworthy. We had a very good dialogue. I was able to get a sense of his soul; a man deeply committed to his country and the best interests of his country.
** [[George W. Bush]], [http://georgewbush-whitehouse.archives.gov/news/releases/2001/06/20010618.html joint press conference] (16 June 2001)

* Under Russian Federation President and former career foreign [[Intelligence-gathering|intelligence]] officer Vladimir Putin, an 'FSB State' composed of chekists has been established and is consolidating its hold on the country. Its closest partners are organized criminals. In a world marked by a [[Globalization|globalized]] economy and [[Information technology|information infrastructure]], and with transnational terrorism groups utilizing all available means to achieve their goals and further their interests, Russian intelligence collaboration with these elements is potentially disastrous.
** Julie Anderson, [http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/08850600500483699 &quot;The Chekist Takeover of the Russian State&quot;], ''International Journal of Intelligence and Counter-Intelligence'' (May 2006), Volume 19, Issue 2, pp. 237&amp;ndash;288.

* …this may be the time to say one or two things to the person responsible for my present condition. You may succeed in silencing me but that silence comes at a price. You have shown yourself to be as barbaric and ruthless as your most hostile critics have claimed. You have shown yourself to have no respect for life, liberty or any civilised value. You have shown yourself to be unworthy of your office, to be unworthy of the trust of civilised men and women. You may succeed in silencing one man but the howl of protest from around the world will reverberate, Mr Putin, in your ears for the rest of your life. May God forgive you for what you have done, not only to me but to beloved Russia and its people.
** Final statement of [[Alexander Litvinenko]], issued posthumously. {{cite news| url=http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6180262.stm |work=BBC News | title=In full: Litvinenko statement | date=24 November 2006}}

* [In 2000] Vladimir Putin had the intelligence, energy and stamina the country needed to get Russia's economy on track and handle its complicated politics.
** [[Bill Clinton]], as quoted in &quot;[http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/29/opinion/29clinton.html?_r=1&amp;oref=slogin Boris the Fighter]&quot; (29 April 2007), ''The New York Times''

* This guy is a KGB guy. This guy issues a law allowing the Russians to kill opponents abroad. So they kill opponents abroad. This is absolutely logical. Why did they issue this law? For what? Because this is Russia and nobody agrees to kill without the signature of somebody more important who gave the order.
** [[Boris Berezovsky]], as quoted in [http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2007/01/29/kremlin-inc &quot;Kremlin, Inc.: Why are Vladimir Putin’s opponents dying?&quot;] (29 January 2007), by Michael Specter, ''The New Yorker''.

* I looked into his eyes and saw three letters: a 'K', a 'G', and a 'B'.
** [[John McCain]], as quoted in [http://www.boston.com/news/nation/articles/2008/01/07/hillary_clinton_campaigning_ponders_putins_soul/ &quot;Hillary Clinton Campaigning Ponders Putin's Soul&quot;] (2008), ''Boston''.

* I looked into his eyes and I didn't see his soul, but a cold-blooded killer. [[Robert Gates]] to [[George W. Bush|George W Bush]], as quoted in [https://edition.cnn.com/videos/tv/2022/02/27/exp-gps-0227-gates-russia-ukraine-putin.cnn/ &quot;On GPS: Gates on Putin, 27 February 2022&quot;] (2006)

* [[Russia]] is a new phenomenon in Europe: a state defined and dominated by former and active-duty security and intelligence officers. Not even [[fascist]] [[Italy]], [[Nazi Germany]], or the [[Soviet Union]] – all undoubtedly much worse creations than Russia; were as top-heavy with intelligence talent ... There is no historical precedent for a society so dominated by former and active-duty internal-security and intelligence officials; men who rose up in a professional culture in which [[murder]] could be an acceptable, even obligatory, [[business]] practice... Those who operated within the Soviet sphere were the most malevolent in their practices. These men mentored and shaped Putin and his closest friends and allies. It is therefore unsurprising that Putin's Russia has become an assassination-happy state where detention, interrogation, and torture; all tried and true methods of the Soviet [[KGB]]; are used to silence the voices of untoward [[Journalism|journalists]] and [[Businessperson|businessmen]] who annoy or threaten Putin's FSB state.
** [[Reuel Marc Gerecht|Reuel M. Gerecht]], [http://www.aei.org/publications/filter.all,pubID.25917/pub_detail.asp &quot;A Rogue Intelligence State? Why Europe and America Cannot Ignore Russia&quot;] (6 April 2007), AEI.

[[File:რატომ?.jpg|thumb|400px|right|Putin told several Western leaders, “I want Saakashvili’s head.” &lt;br/&gt; If they want my head, for me it’s more funny than troubling. &lt;br/&gt; ~ [[Mikheil Saakashvili]]]]

* Putin told several Western leaders, “I want Saakashvili’s head.” If they want my head, for me it’s more funny than troubling.
** [[Mikheil Saakashvili]], as quoted in [https://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/19/magazine/19WWln-q4-t.html &quot;An American Friend&quot;] (19 October 2008), ''The New York Times''

* ''Ich glaube ihm das, und ich bin davon überzeugt, dass er das ist.''
** I believe him, and I'm convinced that he is.
** German Chancellor [[Gerhard Schröder]] responding to the question ''Ist Putin ein lupenreiner Demokrat?'' (Is Putin an exemplary democrat?), interview on the television show ‘Beckmann’, 23 November 2004, quoted on [http://www.dradio.de/dlf/sendungen/interview_dlf/1015218/ dradio.de]

===2010s===
* I repent and ask for forgiveness for bringing Vladimir Putin to power. I should have seen, but could not see in him the future of a greedy tyrant and usurper, a man who trampled freedom and stopped the development of Russia. Many of us did not recognize it then, but that does not excuse me. I'm sorry.
** [[Boris Berezovsky]], Facebook posting (26 February 2012)

* Mother of God, Drive Putin Away.
** Title of a song by the Russian music group Pussy Riot, quoted in [https://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/the-absurd-and-outrageous-trial-of-pussy-riot &quot;The Absurd and Outrageous Trial of Pussy Riot&quot;], New Yorker, 7 August 2012

* Vladimir Putin wants to restore the old Russian empire. He cannot stand a free, democratic, prosperous [[Ukraine]], because sooner or later the people of [[Russia]] would want to have that kind of lifestyle as well.
**[[John McCain]], quoted in [https://www.voanews.com/a/mccain-urges-crushing-sanctions-for-russia-arms-for-ukraine/2439206.html &quot;McCain Urges 'Crushing' Sanctions for Russia, Arms for Ukraine&quot;] ''Voice of America'' (September 4, 2014)

* Putin’s intimidating aura is often reinforced by his controlled mannerisms, modulated tone, and steady gaze. But he can get quite animated if he wants to drive home a point, his eyes flashing and his voice rising in pitch... “You Americans need to listen more,” President Putin said as I handed him my credentials as ambassador, before I had gotten a word out of my mouth. “You can’t have everything your way anymore. We can have effective relations, but not just on your terms.” &lt;br&gt;It was 2005, and in the ensuing years I would hear that message again and again, as unsubtle and defiantly charmless as the man himself...
** [[William J. Burns (diplomat)]] ''How the U.S. -Russian Relationship Went Bad, The Atlantic,'' April 2019 

* Putin... seemed in many ways the anti-Yeltsin—younger, sober, fiercely competent, hardworking and hard-faced... he was determined to show that Russia would no longer be the potted plant of major-power politics.
** [[William J. Burns (diplomat)]] ''How the U.S. -Russian Relationship Went Bad, The Atlantic,'' April 2019

* Early on in his Kremlin tenure, Putin had tested, with President [[George W. Bush]], a form of partnership suited to his view of Russian interests and prerogatives. He imagined a common front in the post-9/11 [[War on terror|War on Terror]], in return for acceptance of Russia’s special influence in the former Soviet Union, with no encroachment by [[NATO]] beyond the Baltics and no interference in Russia’s domestic politics. But this kind of transaction was never in [[Foreign policy of the United States|the cards]].... [[Barack Obama|Obama]] struggled to stay connected to Putin, whose suspicions never really eased.... We managed a string of tangible accomplishments: a new nuclear-arms-reduction treaty; a military transit agreement for Afghanistan; a partnership on the Iranian nuclear issue.
** [[William J. Burns (diplomat)]] ''How the U.S. -Russian Relationship Went Bad, The Atlantic,'' April 2019

*The upheavals of the [[Arab Spring]] unnerved Putin; he reportedly watched [[w:Muammar Gaddafi#Capture and killing|the grisly video of the demise]] of the Libyan leader [[Muammar Gaddafi|Muammar Qaddafi—]] caught hiding in a drainage pipe and killed by Western-backed rebels—over and over again.
** [[William J. Burns (diplomat)]] ''How the U.S. -Russian Relationship Went Bad, The Atlantic,'' April 2019

* [[Barack Obama|President Barack Obama]] first met with Putin in Moscow in July 2009, and I accompanied him... En route to Putin’s dacha... I suggested that Obama open the meeting with a question. Why not ask Putin for his candid assessment of what he thought had gone right, and what had gone wrong, in Russian-American relations over the past decade? Putin liked being asked his opinion... Maybe letting him get some things off his chest would set a good tone. The president nodded. Obama’s initial question produced an unbroken 55-minute monologue filled with grievances, sharp asides, and acerbic commentary.
** [[William J. Burns (diplomat)]] ''How the U.S. -Russian Relationship Went Bad, The Atlantic,'' April 2019

* Vladimir Putin, yeah, I met with him a lot during the presidency... I got to know him very well. I had a good relationship throughout, it became more tense as time went on... Vladimir’s a person who in many ways views the U.S. as an enemy... And although he wouldn’t say that, I felt that he viewed the world as either the U.S. benefits and Russia loses or vice-versa. I tried of course to dispel him of that notion...
** [[George W. Bush]], [http://www.politico.com/story/2014/04/george-w-bush-vladimir-putin-barney-dog-105379 ''Today''] (April 2014), NBC

[[File:Парад в честь 70-летия Великой Победы - 26.jpg|thumb|I have had closer interactions with President Putin than with any other foreign colleagues. He is my best and bosom friend. I cherish dearly our deep friendship. ~[[Xi Jinping]]]]
*I have had closer interactions with President Putin than with any other foreign colleagues. He is my best and bosom friend. I cherish dearly our deep friendship.
**[[Xi Jinping]], as quoted in &quot;[https://www.businessinsider.com/china-xi-jinping-russia-vladimir-putin-best-friends-photos-2019-6 18 photos that show the blossoming bromance between China's Xi Jinping and Russia's Vladimir Putin]&quot; ''Business Insider''

[[File:Uscapitolindaylight.jpg|thumb|If there is a threat to national and global security today, and a threat to [[free speech]] and independent media, it is not coming from Putin or the Kremlin – but rather from the United States. And until the [[Left-wing politics|American left]] gathers itself and stops listening to the [[w:war hawk|warmongering pundits]] and [[Mainstream media|establishment journalists]] parroting the Washington narrative, we have nothing but a bleak future in front of us with regards to the relation between the two old nemesis nuclear superpower. ~ {{w|Jonathan Sigrist}}]]

* People say, &quot;He's the most popular guy in Russia.&quot; I say: &quot;Yeah, I'd be popular too if I owned NBC.&quot;
** [[George W. Bush]], as quoted in [https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/03/is-putin-popular-c/ &quot;Is Putin Popular?&quot;] (2018), by Jay Nordlinger, ''National Review''

* When Putin began talking about Russia’s sovereignty, Russia’s independent course in world affairs, they’re (the Washington elites) aghast... This is not what they expected... Putin was kind of the right person for the right time, both for Russia and for Russian world affairs.
** [[Stephen F. Cohen]] in ''War With Russia? From Putin &amp; Ukraine to Trump &amp; Russiagate'' (2019)

* Putin went to [[Texas]]. He had a barbecue with Bush, second Bush. Bush said he ‘looked into his eyes and saw a good soul.’ There was this honeymoon. Why did they turn against Putin?... You have to ask yourself, why is it that Washington had no problem doing productive diplomacy with Soviet communist leaders... Why do we like [[Communism|communist]] leaders in Russia better than we like Russia’s [[Anti-communism|anti-communist]] leader?... Putin said he had illusions about the West when he came to power.
** [[Stephen F. Cohen]] in ''War With Russia? From Putin &amp; Ukraine to Trump &amp; Russiagate'' (2019)

* The degradation of [[Mainstream media|mainstream American press]] coverage of Russia, a country still vital to [[national security|US national security]], has been under way for many years. If the recent tsunami of shamefully unprofessional and politically inflammatory articles in leading newspapers and magazines — particularly about the Sochi Olympics, [[Ukraine]] and, unfailingly, President Vladimir Putin — is an indication, this media malpractice is now pervasive and the new norm.
** [[Stephen F. Cohen]], in [https://www.thenation.com/article/distorting-russia/ ''Distorting Russia How the American media misrepresent Putin, Sochi and Ukraine''], ''{{w|The Nation}}'' (February 12, 2014)

* After nearly fifteen years of systematic destruction of public space, engineered by Putin, the normal ways by which regular people absorb information about the state of their country are gone. Only a person who had lost his livelihood or half his savings would have been able to report that the economy was failing.
** [[Masha Gessen]], [http://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/news-in-moscow-russia-ruble &quot;The News in Moscow&quot;] (27 December 2014), ''The New Yorker''.

* Public space frightens the Putin regime, which has worked hard, and effectively, to destroy it.
** [[Masha Gessen]], [http://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/the-battle-for-flowers-on-nemtsov-bridge &quot;The Battle For Flowers on Nemtsov Bridge&quot;] (16 April 2015), ''The New Yorker''.

* Like the Soviet regime before it, the Putin government spreads fear by destroying the [[illusion]] that one can protect oneself.
** [[Masha Gessen]], [http://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/putins-russia-dont-walk-dont-eat-and-dont-drink?intcid=mod-yml &quot;Putin's Russia: Don't Walk, Don't Eat, and Don't Drink&quot;] (28 May 2015), ''The New Yorker''.

* In 1999 the ailing [[Boris Yeltsin|Yeltsin]] anointed a former [[Leningrad]] [[KGB]] boss, Vladimir Putin, as his successor. The contrast was total. Putin was the epitome of a tough, communist-era apparatchik. The ex-[[Intelligence-gathering|intelligence]] officer had no time for the niceties of [[democracy]], but a keen sense of the need to restore Russian pride. He would issue pictures of himself [[hunting]] and bare-chested on horseback. His court of [[Oligarchy|oligarchs]] made sure he secured as much overseas [[wealth]] as they had. [[Putinism|Putin’s politics]], endorsed at increasingly [[Electoral fraud|rigged]] [[Elections in Russia|elections]], made no mention of [[Civil and political rights|civil rights]] or [[Market economy|market economics]]. He was a [[Populism|populist]] and a [[Nationalism|nationalist]], his pledge merely to restore Russia’s integrity and self-confidence. Opponents were bribed, imprisoned or killed. The west might have felt able to humour and torment Yeltsin. It now faced the pastiche tsar of a macho state. That Russia’s economy was debilitated was irrelevant. [[Dictatorship]] thrives on [[poverty]].
** Simon Jenkins, ''A Short History of Europe: From Pericles to Putin'' (2018)
* In 2010 the pro-Russian leader of Ukraine, [[Viktor Yanukovych]], opposed any move to take the country closer to NATO or the EU, but within four years he was [[Revolution of Dignity|ousted by pro-western parties]] in Kiev, precipitating an open civil war in Ukraine’s [[Russian language|Russian-speaking]] eastern provinces, the latter supported by Moscow. Tension was further increased when in 2014 [[Annexation of Crimea by the Russian Federation|Putin annexed the formerly Russian territory of Crimea]], granted to Ukraine in the 1950s. Europe replied with a barrage of economic sanctions, which had no political effect beyond entrenching Russia’s siege economy and bringing Putin closer to his oligarchic associates. The economy switched to [[w:Import substitution|import substitution]], including the manufacture of domestic mozzarella and camembert. NATO reopened its invitation to Ukraine and conducted military exercises in the Baltic countries. Russia did likewise. Europe slid back into brinkmanship mode. Misjudging Moscow had long been the occupational disease of European [[diplomacy]]. It cursed alike [[Swedes]], [[Poland|Poles]], [[Napoleon]] and [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]]. It now blighted a western alliance divided on how to respond to this newly aggressive Russia.
** Simon Jenkins, ''A Short History of Europe: From Pericles to Putin'' (2018)

* Russia was now becoming a dominant factor in European diplomacy. It had copious natural resources, a large army, a nuclear arsenal and a reckless capacity for mischief-making, cyber attacks and overseas [[assassination]]. As [[Winston Churchill|Churchill]] had said in 1939, Russia might always be ‘a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma’, but on one matter Putin was crystal clear. He did not like NATO’s encirclement of his borders or meddling within his ‘sphere of interest’. In this he had an increasingly sympathetic ear from [[Germany]]’s [[Angela Merkel]] and from some former Warsaw Pact leaders. [[Geography]] mattered. It was easy for Britain and France to play belligerence with Moscow. It was less easy for Germany and the still ingénue democracies to its [[East/Central Europe|east]].
** Simon Jenkins, ''A Short History of Europe: From Pericles to Putin'' (2018)

* Allow dissent &amp; free media for 6 months in Russia and see what happens. Putin would never risk it because he’s terrified of his own people and the truth, like every [[Dictatorship|dictator]].
** [[Garry Kasparov]], as quoted in [https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/03/is-putin-popular-c/ &quot;Is Putin Popular?&quot;] (2018), by Jay Nordlinger, ''National Review''

* The leaders of the free world keep lowering their standards and [[Authoritarianism|authoritarians]] keep taking more territory. Eventually people wake up and ask why Putin murders in the [[United Kingdom|UK]] or hacks in the US. Why wouldn’t he? You didn’t stop him before.
** [[Garry Kasparov]], as quoted in [https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/03/is-putin-popular-c/ &quot;Is Putin Popular?&quot;] (2018), by Jay Nordlinger, ''National Review''

* And then there is Russia. Over the past 8 years under President Vladimir Putin, Russia has invaded Ukraine, annexed Crimea, threatened NATO allies, and intervened militarily in Syria, leaving a trail of death and destruction and broken promises in his wake. [[Russian Armed Forces|Russia’s military]] has targeted Syrian hospitals and first responders with precision weapons. Russia supplied the weapons that shot down a commercial aircraft over Ukraine. Russia’s war on Ukraine has killed thousands of Ukrainian soldiers and civilians. And in the most flagrant demonstration of Putin’s disdain and disrespect for our Nation, [[Russian interference in the 2016 United States elections|Russia deliberately interfered in our recent election]] with [[w:cyberwarfare|cyber attacks]] and a [[disinformation]] campaign designed to weaken America and discredit Western values. Each of our last three Presidents has had great expectations of building a partnership with the Russian Government. Each attempt has failed, not for lack of good faith and effort on the U.S. side, but because of a stubborn fact that we must finally recognize: Putin wants to be our enemy. He needs us as his enemy. He will never be our partner, including in fighting ISIL. He believes that strengthening Russia means weakening America. We must proceed realistically on this basis.
** [[John McCain]], during his remarks as Chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee during the confirmation hearing on James Mattis' nomination for Secretary of Defense, on January 12, 2017. As quoted on page 19 of the hearing's transcript.

* I understand why he has to do this; to prove he's a man... He's afraid of his own weakness. Russia has nothing, no successful politics or economy. All they have is this.
** [[Angela Merkel]], as quoted in [http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2014/12/01/quiet-german &quot;The Quiet German&quot;] (1 December 2014), by George Paker, ''The New Yorker''.

* Putin has a weak hand and he's bluffing, successfully; the West has a strong hand and has no idea what to do with it.
** Jay Nordlinger, [https://www.nationalreview.com/blog/corner/democracy-wont-defend-itself-we-have-to/ &quot;Democracy Won’t Defend Itself; We Have To&quot;] (4 March 2018), ''National Review''

* Putin is slouching…looking like that bored schoolboy in the back of the classroom.
** [[Barack Obama|Barack H. Obama II]], as quoted in [http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/in-the-loop/wp/2013/08/09/obama-putins-a-sloucher/ &quot;Obama: Putin is slouchin'&quot;], (9 August 2013), ''The Washington Post''.

* This man thinks that you can’t criticise your government. This man thinks that if you sing and dance in an inappropriate way you get two years in prison!
** [[Pussy Riot]], as quoted in [http://lybio.net/tag/pussy-riot-vladimir-putin-message-quotes/ &quot;Members of the Pussy Riot burn effigy Putin as they vow to continue their 'musical fight in Russia&quot;] (6 September 2012), ''Lybio.Net''.

* History shows that the process of modernization leads societies to form liberal democracies with market systems. Yet some leaders insist on trying to create alternative models, even though those models are unstable and retrograde. Putin's [[Authoritarianism|authoritarian]] effort to create a managed democracy in Russia offers a good example... After the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991 many people expected Russia to make a rapid transition from communism to democracy... However, what followed in Russia was a period of experimentation with relatively greater [[liberalism]] under President [[Boris Yeltsin]] that led not to democracy, but the rise of Putin and an authoritarian system... Putin's authoritarian system does not mean that he has built a successful alternative to [[liberal democracy]]. Instead, the system owes its existence in part to the slow development of a middle class in Russia that normally would demand a share of power. That slow development, in turn, is largely thanks to the state's monopolization of the country's most lucrative business activities: the export of energy and other natural resources.
** Charles Recknagel, [http://www.rferl.org/content/fukuyama-putinism-islamic-state-liberal-democracy/27518924.html &quot;Fukuyama: 'Putinism', Radical Islam No Alternative To Liberal Democracy&quot;] (30 January 2016), ''Radio Free Europe: Radio Liberty''.

* It was great to come so close to Putin and say 'fuck you' straight to his face, almost two years before other Ukrainians understood [[w:Foreign policy of Vladimir Putin#Relations with post-Soviet states|what he was doing to the country]].
** [[Oksana Shachko]], as quoted in ''[https://luxtimes.lu/archives/12783-interview-speaking-of-femen-ism Interview: Speaking of Femen-ism]'' (3 August 2015), ''{{w|Luxemburger Wort}}''.

* Throughout the day before [[w:2018 Russia–United States summit|the summit in Helsinki]], the lead story on the [[The New York Times|New York Times]] home page stayed the same:[https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/15/world/europe/trump-putin-helsinki-summit.html “Just by Meeting With Trump, Putin Comes Out Ahead.”] ... The Washington Post...editorialized that Russia’s President [[Vladimir Putin]] is “an implacably hostile foreign adversary.” ...Contempt for diplomacy with Russia is now extreme... A bellicose stance toward Russia has become so routine and widespread that we might not give it a second thought...
** [[Norman Solomon]] in [https://www.commondreams.org/views/2018/07/16/climb-down-summit-hostile-propagandaClimb '''''...Hostile Propaganda: Contempt for diplomacy with Russia is now extreme,''' Common Dreams''] (16 July 2018) )

* Often the biggest lies involve what remains unsaid. For instance, [[Mainstream media|U.S. media]] rarely mention such key matters as the promise-breaking huge expansion of NATO to Russia’s borders since the fall of the [[Berlin Wall]]... or the more than 800 [[United States Armed Forces|U.S. military]] bases overseas -- in contrast to Russia’s nine... We need a major shift in the U.S. approach toward Russia...The lives -- and even existence -- of future generations are at stake in the relationship between Washington and Moscow... The incessant drumbeat is in sync with what [[Martin Luther King Jr.]] called “the madness of militarism.&quot;
** [[Norman Solomon]] in [https://www.commondreams.org/views/2018/07/16/climb-down-summit-hostile-propagandaClimb '''''...Hostile Propaganda: Contempt for diplomacy with Russia is now extreme,''' Common Dreams''] (16 July 2018) )

* Putin is the most mature statesmen in the whole world right now. He's been there for four [[President of the United States|American presidents]], since [[Bill Clinton|Clinton]]...He's been everywhere, met everybody. And he sees the world as needing balance. It's not a uni-polar world, dominated by the United States... He's been very clear that we need balances of regional power. Unfortunately, the United States just doesn't want to believe that...it's our military side that scares the sh-- out of me,.. as we tend to be arrogant, that's when you become very dangerous.
** [[Oliver Stone]] quoted in [https://www.businessinsider.com/oliver-stone-bush-biopic-w-militarization-more-dangerous-than-trump-2018-10 ''Oliver Stone says comparing 'disaster' of Bush's presidency to Trump is ridiculous and 'trivializes the situation, Business Insider''] (29 Oct 2018)

*Somehow we have to learn that we don't have to be number one. We can be partners with the world.That's what I think Putin sees, very clearly. And he's trying to counter it in every way he can to keep his own region alive. He's in jeopardy. I mean, we have had our sights on him heavily since 2007 or 2008.
** [[Oliver Stone]] quoted in [https://www.businessinsider.com/oliver-stone-bush-biopic-w-militarization-more-dangerous-than-trump-2018-10 ''Oliver Stone says comparing 'disaster' of Bush's presidency to Trump is ridiculous and 'trivializes the situation, Business Insider''] (29 Oct 2018)

* In January 2018, the experts at the [[Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists]] moved the hands of the [[Doomsday Clock]] to two minutes before midnight, where it had stood during the darkest days of the Cold War, from 1953 to 1960. The latest move of the hands was precipitated by the recklessness in Trump’s nuclear thinking and the deepening crisis over Korea.&lt;BR&gt; Acting like a hegemon, the United States, starting in 1999, took advantage of Russian weakness and broke its promise not to expand NATO, eventually adding 13 countries, the last of which was Montenegro, in 2017. When Bush announced plans to incorporate Georgia and Ukraine, Putin drew the line. Following the US-backed Ukrainian coup, he took back Crimea and made clear that there are limits to his toleration of NATO expansion.
** [https://www.thenation.com/article/untold-history-of-the-united-states-rerelease/ ''2 Minutes and Counting, Crises that seemed contained not long ago have now spiraled out of control—and the prospects for resolving them peacefully look depressingly bleak, the Nation,''] [[Oliver Stone]] and {{w|Peter Kuznick}}, (3 April 2019)

* In his March 1, 2018, Presidential Address to the Federal Assembly, he went further, throwing down the gauntlet to the United States. Russia, he acknowledged, had been on the defensive since the Soviet Union collapsed, having lost substantial amounts of its territory, population, GDP, industrial potential, and military capability. It depended on the [[International Monetary Fund|IMF]] and [[World Bank]] for survival. The United States ignored its appeals not to abrogate the ABM Treaty in 2002 and expanded its global missile-defense system, leaving Russia vulnerable to a US attack. &lt;BR&gt;But now, in March 2018, Putin was declaring that the US effort had failed. He unveiled the existence of five new nuclear weapons, all of which could circumvent US missile-defense systems. He concluded defiantly, “I hope everything that has been said today will sober any potential aggressor,” adding, “No one listened to us. Listen to us now.” Independent Russian military analyst Aleksandr Golts said that all the weapons experts he had spoken to were “in shock, as was I.”
** [https://www.thenation.com/article/untold-history-of-the-united-states-rerelease/ ''2 Minutes and Counting, Crises that seemed contained not long ago have now spiraled out of control—and the prospects for resolving them peacefully look depressingly bleak, the Nation,''] [[Oliver Stone]] and {{w|Peter Kuznick}}, (3 April 2019)

*President Putin has done a lot of [hypocritical and oppressive actions] against his own people, and I would describe that as anti-Russian.
**[[Michael McFaul]], former U.S. Ambassador to Russia, [https://highschool.latimes.com/carnegie-mellon-university/an-interview-with-former-u-s-ambassador-to-russia-michael-mcfaul/ An Interview with former U.S. Ambassador to Russia, Michael McFaul] (30 August 2019)

[[File:Vladimir Putin and Bashar al-Assad (2017-11-21) 06.jpg|thumb|The different of President Putin, he could see that clearly while the other of in Europe or the Western couldn't see that, that's why the intervention is based on values and at the same time based on the interest of Russian people.
~[[Bashar al-Assad]]]]
* When he wanted to intervene he didn't ask anything. First, '''his politics based on value, this is important''', the second thing they enter in common interest they are fighting the terrorists that they could fight in Russia we are fighting the terrorists that could be fighting in Europe and anywhere in some.... in world, but '''the different of President Putin, he could see that clearly while the other of in Europe or the Western couldn't see that, that's why the intervention is based on values and at the same time based on the interest of Russian people.'''
** [[Bashar al-Assad]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45odEv_1DAY Interview with Bill Neely] (July 2016) on &quot;[https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/syria-s-president-bashar-al-assad-speaks-nbc-news-n608746 NBC: Exclusive Interview with Bashar al-Assad]&quot;

* The West used to have &quot;puppets&quot;, not independent leaders or officials in any other countries and that's their problem with Putin, '''they demonize Putin because he can say no and he wants to be independent'''; because the West, especially the United States don't accept partners, they only accept &quot;followers&quot; even Europe is not part of the United States, that's to be very frank with you, so this is their problem in Syria they need somebody to keep saying yes, like puppet and marionette and so on, somebody you can control from...by remote control
** [[Bashar al-Assad]], ''President al Assad’s interview with Charlie Rose'', CBS News (2017)

* The [[Jamal Khashoggi|Khashoggi]] episode- made worse by weeks of presidential hand-wringing- damaged America's credibility, yet it was hardly the worst case of the president's submission to autocrats. That honor goes to Vladimir Putin. Under President Putin, Russia has reasserted itself on the world stage, challenging the United States at every opportunity and seeking to be a peer competitor. Trump, seemingly unfazed by the regime's hostility toward Americans, has applauded Putin with regularity.
** Miles Taylor, ''A Warning'' (2019), p. 163

* The president's obvious admiration for Vladimir Putin (&quot;a great guy,&quot; &quot;terrific person&quot;) still continues to puzzle us, including those on the team who shrug off his outlandish behavior. Where did the Putin hero worship come from? It's almost as if Trump is the scrawny kid trying to suck up to the bully on the playground. Commentators have speculated, without any evidence, that Moscow must &quot;have something&quot; on the president. I wish I could say. All I know is that whatever drives his love for Putin, it's terrible for the United States because Vladimir Putin is not on our side and no US president should be building him up. We need a comprehensive strategy to counter the Russians, not court them. But Trump is living on another planet, one where he and Putin are companions and where Russia wants to help America be successful. As a result, US officials fear they're &quot;on their own&quot; in fighting back against Moscow. They're right. They are. If an agency wants to respond to Russia's anti-US behavior around the world, they shouldn't plan on steady air cover from the president. In fact, officials know they risk Trump's ire if the subject comes up in public interviews or congressional testimony. &quot;I don't care,&quot; one fellow senior leader snapped when reminded by his staff that he needed to watch his words in Senate meetings. &quot;He can fire me if he wants. I'm going to tell the truth. The Russians are not our friends.&quot;
** Miles Taylor, ''A Warning'' (2019), p. 166

* Trump's cavalier attitude toward the Russian security threat has had a predictable yet devastating consequence. Moscow has not been deterred from attacking American interests. It has been emboldened. They continue to take advantage of the United States, around the world and on our own soil. Former director of National Intelligence [[Dan Coats]] testified in January 2019 that Russia was still sowing social, racial, and political discord in the United States through influence operations, and several months later, [[Robert Mueller]] said the same. &quot;It wasn't a single attempt,&quot; he testified to Congress. &quot;They're doing it as we sit here. And they expect to do it during the next campaign.&quot; This should be a national scandal, a cause for outrage and action against the Russian government. Instead, it's being ignored where it should matter most- in the Oval Office. Reporters asked Trump about Mueller's assessment days later and quizzed him again on whether he'd pressed Putin on the topic. &quot;You don't really believe this,&quot; he shot back. &quot;Do you believe this? Okay, fine. We didn't talk about it.&quot; Then he boarded Marine One. The person he ''does'' believe is Putin. According to a former top FBI official, Trump at one point rejected information he received regarding a rogue country's missile capability. He said the Russian president had given him different information, so it didn't matter what US spy agencies said. &quot;I don't care. I believe Putin,&quot; the official quoted him as saying.
** Miles Taylor, ''A Warning'' (2019), p. 167

* I, for one, don't want this president cutting secret deals with Vladimir Putin.
** Miles Taylor, ''A Warning'' (2019), p. 167

====[[Ray McGovern|Ray McGovern]] - Foreign Policy Journal (2 May 2018)====
[https://www.foreignpolicyjournal.com/2018/05/02/ray-mcgovern-russia-and-u-s-senators-want-disarmament-u-s-media-does-not/ Full text online] (2 May 2018)
* [[Ray McGovern|Ray McGovern]]: Let me just start with [[Vladimir Putin|Putin]]’s major address [1 March 2018] ... It was really something. Not only did he advertise a whole new generation of strategic weaponry, which he claimed, and no one has disproved, would render the billions of dollars that we have wasted on antiballistic missile defenses useless. They’re useless to begin with, most scientists and engineers say, but these new weapons that he advertised, and some of which he said are operational, would upend that... he also said, Now, we tried to get you to listen to us. You wouldn’t listen to us. Now, hopefully, you will listen to us. Let’s get together at the appropriate time with experts and figure out how we address these problems, in other words, talks on arms control ...

* Now, a couple days later he’s talking about the strategic relationship and somebody says, Now, Mr. Putin—this is in an interview...six days later—somebody says, Hey, listen, Mr. Putin...would you destroy the whole world? If there were a first strike on Russia, would you really respond? It would be too late to save Russia.... Look, He says, yes, this would be a global catastrophe, but “as a citizen of Russia and as the head of the Russian state, I ask, What need will we have for a world if there was no Russia?” So he’s saying, Look, you’ve got to take this stuff seriously. Yes, we would retaliate, even if it meant that the rest of the world would be blown up as well as Russia.

* Two days later... senior senators... three Democrats....[[Dianne Feinstein|Feinstein]], [[Ron Wyden|Wyden]], the fellow up there in [[Massachusetts]], and [[Bernie Sanders]]—they issue a call, a letter to then Secretary of State [[Rex Tillerson]], Look, this is really getting out of hand. We don’t like the fact that Putin is brandishing these weapons that we really haven’t ever heard of before, but he’s calling for [[arms control]] talks, so let’s talk. Let’s talk. Guess what? That appeal appeared on all those four senators’ websites but was totally—totally—ignored by what passes for the [[mainstream media]]. So one suspects that this is an unwelcome subject, and there is proof positive...we're talking about four senior senators appealing for arms control talks on their websites but it never getting past their websites, no publicity for it. I’m thinking that [[Chuck Schumer]] said, No, no. Arms control, no, no... Don’t mention arms control talks. So that’s the reality in the mainstream media.

* ...Putin’s looking at all this. He knows who “the crazies” are and he knows that [[John R. Bolton|Bolton]] has a lot of influence. So this is a very destabilizing thing, because when the Russians keep telling us, Look, we’ve got these new weapons, well, you know, the press says, Ah, they’re faking it, they’re probably faking it. You know, I don’t know if they’re faking it or not. But, my God, if we knew about all this, why is it not in the annual intelligence briefing that is given to both the House and to the Senate early each year? It’s missing. All we get is rhetoric about how bad the Russians are, just as if they were the old Soviet Union, ideologically determined to bury us...

===2020s===
[[File:Встреча с Президентом Венесуэлы Николасом Мадуро - 3.jpeg|thumb|The West used to have &quot;puppets&quot;, not independent leaders or officials in any other countries and that's their problem with Putin, they demonize Putin because he can say no and he wants to be independent. ~ [[Bashar al-Assad]] ]]

* Putin hadn't raised election meddling, but I certainly did, stressing there was even more interest than before because of the approaching 2018 congressional elections. Every member of [[United States Congress|Congress]] running for reelection, and all their challengers, had a direct personal interest in the issue, which they had not fully appreciated in 2016, with the attention on allegations of meddling at the presidential level. I said it was politically toxic for Trump to meet with Putin, but he was doing so to safeguard US national interests regardless of the political consequences, and to see if he could advance the relationship. After a few closing pleasantries, the roughly ninety-minute meeting ended. Putin struck me as totally in control, self-confident, whatever Russia's domestic economic and political challenges might have been. I was not looking forward to leaving him alone in a room with Trump.
** [[John Bolton]], ''The Room Where It Happened: A White House Memoir'' (2020), p. 132

* I have always been strongly attracted by the Russian temperament, because I myself also feel very, very much Russian. I adore Vladimir Putin, your president.
** {{w|Gerard Depardieu}}, (26 February 2013). [http://gulfnews.com/arts-entertainment/celebrity/gerard-depardieu-pours-praise-on-vladimir-putin-1.1151064]

* One of the more interesting aspects of the nauseating impeachment trial in the Senate was the repeated vilification of [[Russia]] and its President Vladimir Putin. To hate Russia has become dogma on both sides of the political aisle... the United States is engaged is fighting multiple wars against make-believe enemies while the country’s infrastructure rots and a host of officially certified grievance groups control the public space.
** [[Philip Giraldi]] in [https://councilforthenationalinterest.org/?p=5202 Why Both Republicans and Democrats Want Russia to Become the Enemy of Choice],''The Council for the American Interest''] (6 Feb 2020)

* Vladimir Putin’s government has also been accused of downplaying the severity of [[COVID-19 pandemic|the outbreak]]. Officially, there have been 2,337 cases [[w:COVID-19 pandemic in Russia|in Russia]]—very low by international standards—but low testing rates make it hard to know for sure. Critics suggest that a suspiciously nationwide uptick in [[pneumonia]] cases in recent weeks actually consists of undiagnosed [[COVID-19]] cases. Aggressive measures put in place to punish the spread of “false” information on the outbreak online may also be preventing media outlets from publishing accurate information. After moving much more slowly than other governments to order lockdowns and social distancing measures, Russia is finally implementing new rules as the number of cases has grown rapidly in recent days. Putin, who was highly visible while touting the government’s efforts to contain the disease’s spread early on, was conspicuously absent when it was time to deliver the bad news. The impending crisis has not stopped [[Government of Russia|Russia’s government]] from scoring a propaganda coup by shipping medical supplies to other countries—including the [[2020 coronavirus pandemic in the United States|U.S]].
** [[Joshua Keating]], ''[https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2020/04/strongman-medicine-china-russia-kenya-india-pan.html Strongman Medicine: Suspicious Numbers and Brutal Quarantines]'' (April 2, 2020), ''[[w:Slate (magazine)|Slate]]''

* Listen, there's been a campaign, a war against Russia going on for a long time. It started again in the United States around 2006, '07, when he made that speech in Munich, but I think there's no evidence really of the aggressiveness of Russia. The aggressiveness is truly coming from the [[NATO|NATO forces]] that have encircled Russia and that are also, by the way, encircling [[China]]. You know, this is a big policy point, huge, of huge importance... If you look at the reporting from all of our major networks, it's very hostile when it comes to people who we deem to be enemies, whether it's Chávez or whether it's [[Fidel Castro|Castro]] or Putin. I've never seen an interview done from the American perspective where they allow the subject to express himself in what he was seeking to do, what his purpose was.
** [[Oliver Stone]], [https://www.washingtonpost.com/washington-post-live/2021/05/12/transcript-conversation-with-oliver-stone/ Transcript: A Conversation with Oliver Stone,] (streamed live [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5pgnQ2M9tg on YouTube]) ''The Washington Post'' (12 May 2021)

* Castro was very articulate, and so was Chavez, and so was Putin in his way, and I think I gave them a chance to talk and also in their native language. We never hear Putin speak in his native Russian, and we had a very good translator, interpreter working with him. I think it's crucial to understand Putin's point of view as it was Castro's, [[Hugo Chávez|Chávez]]'s. And also, [[Yasser Arafat]], too.. It's not necessary to be their enemy. It's necessary to get them to express themselves. That's my point of view, and I guess you could say I'm a dramatist. And I think they're great stories. I'm very proud of those movies. I took a lot of heat, flack for the last one for Putin, but frankly, I'm very proud of it. It's a record for all time of a man who very few people have gotten to. Even the Russians tell me they've never seen their president so frank as he was on that interview.
** Oliver Stone, Transcript: A Conversation with Oliver Stone, ''The Washington Post'' (12 May 2021)

* There was a strange aftertaste to many of the calls for grand social [[reform]] in 2020. As the [[COVID-19 pandemic|coronavirus crisis]] overtook us, the [[Left-wing politics|left wing]] on both sides of the [[Atlantic Ocean|Atlantic]], at least that part that had been fired up [[Jeremy Corbyn]] and [[Bernie Sanders]], was going down to defeat. The promise of a radicalized and reenergized left, organized around the idea of the [[Green New Deal]], seemed to dissipate amidst the pandemic. It fell to [[Government|governments]] mainly of the [[Centrism|center]] and the [[Right-wing politics|right]] to meet the crisis. They were a strange assortment. [[Jair Bolsonaro]] in [[Brazil]] and [[Donald Trump]] in the [[United States]] experimented with denial. For them [[Climate change denial|climate skepticism]] and [[wikipedia:COVID-19_misinformation|virus skepticism]] went hand in hand. In [[Mexico]], the notionally left-wing government of [[Andrés Manuel López Obrador]] also pursued a maverick path, refusing to take drastic action. [[Nationalist]] strongmen like [[Rodrigo Duterte]] in the [[Philippines]], [[Narendra Modi]] in [[India]], Vladimir Putin in Russia, and [[Recep Tayyip Erdoğan]] in [[Turkey]] did not deny [[SARS-CoV-2|the virus]], but relied on their patriotic appeal and bullying tactics to see them through. It was the managerial centrist types who were under most pressure. Figures like [[Nancy Pelosi]] and [[Chuck Schumer]] in the United States, or [[Sebastián Piñera]] in [[Chile]], or [[Cyril Ramaphosa]] in [[South Africa]], [[Emmanuel Macron]], [[Angela Merkel]], [[Ursula von der Leyen]], and their ilk in [[Europe]]. They accepted the [[science]]. [[Denial]] was not an option. They were desperate to demonstrate that they were better than the '[[Populism|populists]].' To meet the crisis, very middle-of-the-road [[politicians]] ended up doing very [[Radicalism|radical]] things. Most of it was improvisation and compromise, but insofar as they managed to put a programmatic gloss on their responses—whether in the form of the [[EU]]'s [[wikipedia:Next_Generation_EU|Next Generation program]] or [[Joe Biden|Biden]]'s [[Build Back Better Plan|Build Back Better program]] in 2020—it came from the repertoire of [[Climate action|green modernization]], [[sustainable development]], and the [[Green New Deal]].
** [[wikipedia:Adam Tooze|Adam Tooze]], ''Shutdown: How Covid Shook the World Economy'' (2021)

* Fred had also primed [[Donald Trump|Donald]] to be drawn to men such as Cohn, as he would later be drawn to authoritarians such as Vladimir Putin and [[Kim Jong-un]] or anyone else, really, with a willingness to flatter and the power to enrich him.
** Mary L. Trump, ''Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World's Most Dangerous Man'' (2020), p. 101

* Russian President Vladimir Putin on Thursday compared modern Western values ​​to Bolshevik dogmatism during his speech at the Valdai club forum and called for “rational conservatism.” The president recalled that the Bolsheviks showed an “absolute intolerance” to any opinion other than his own, they tried to destroy the values ​​that were formed several centuries ago. In this sense, he stressed that “looking at what is happening in various Western countries” now, we see the practices that Russia left in the distant past.
** [https://today.in-24.com/world/490087.html Putin compares modern Western values ​​with Bolshevik dogmatism and advocates “rational conservatism”], ''Today in 24'', 22 October 2021

=== 2022 ===
* In the early days of the [[Russian invasion of Ukraine|war on Ukraine]], tens of thousands of Russians protested an invasion launched in their name. This was encouraging. Americans could content themselves with the possibility that Russian citizens might take matters into their own hands, challenging and weakening their president, Vladimir Putin. In recent weeks, however, such protests have become rare. This is in no small part due to the criminalization of opposition; publicly contesting the Kremlin’s war propaganda carries prison terms of up to 15 years. But fear is only a piece of the story. Russians also appear to be rallying behind their president, raising the question of whether ordinary citizens are partly to blame for their regime—and perhaps even morally culpable. &lt;br&gt;If Putin’s regime and the Russian people are more intertwined than they initially appeared, a presumption of innocence becomes harder to sustain. According to the Levada Center, the closest thing to an independent pollster in Russia, Putin’s favorability ratings jumped from 69 percent in January to 83 percent in late March, a month into the so-called special military operation. Perhaps more ominously, Russians appear to be informing on one another in growing numbers, condemning friends, neighbors, and colleagues for insufficient support of the war effort. One hard-line member of Parliament noted that a “cleansing” was inevitable. In a speech, Putin himself colorfully praised his fellow Russians’ ability to “distinguish true patriots from scum and traitors and simply spit them out like a fly that accidentally flew into their mouths.”
** Shadi Hamid, ''The Atlantic'', [https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2022/04/russians-support-putin-invasion-popularity/629653/ Why the Russian People Go Along With Putin’s War] (April 23, 2022)

*We had a moment in history, between 1988 and 1991, where we could have worked with [[Mikhail Gorbachev]] to make his vision of perestroika succeed. Instead, we allowed him to fail, without any real plan on how we would live with what emerged from the ruins of the Soviet Union. Save for a short period of time during the [[World War II|Second World War]] where we needed the [[Soviet Union]] to defeat Germany and Japan, we have been in a continual state of political conflict with the Soviet Union. Even after the Soviet Union collapsed, we viewed the [[Russia|Russian Federation]] more as a defeated enemy that we needed to keep down, than a friend in need of a helping hand up. Yeltsin’s Russia was useful to the US and NATO only to the extent that we could exploit it economically while controlling its domestic politics in a manner that kept Russia in a perpetual state of weakness. The [[Barack Obama|Obama]] “reset” was simply a ploy to remove Vladimir Putin, who rejected the vision of Russia projected by the west, and replace him with [[Dmitry Medvedev|Dmitri Medvedev]], whom Obama believed could be remade in the figure of [[Boris Yeltsin|Yeltsin]]. The fact that Putin believes in a strong Russia has upset the plans of the US, NATO, and Europe for post-Cold War hegemony, predicated as they were on a weak, compliant Russian state.
**[[Scott Ritter]] as quoted in [https://dissidentvoice.org/2022/02/personal-interview-scott-ritter/ What Are The Prospects For Peace? by John Rachel, ''Dissident Voice''] (February 24, 2022)

*Russian President Vladimir Putin, citing [[w:Chapter_VII_of_the_United_Nations_Charter#Article_51 |Article 51]] as his authority, ordered what he called a “special military operation” against Ukraine for the ostensible purpose of eliminating neo-Nazi affiliated military formations accused of carrying out acts of genocide against the Russian-speaking population of the Donbass, and for dismantling a Ukrainian military Russia believed served as a de facto proxy of the NATO military alliance. Putin laid out a detailed case for pre-emption, detailing the threat that NATO’s eastward expansion posed to Russia, as well as Ukraine’s ongoing military operations against the Russian-speaking people of the Donbass... &lt;BR&gt; The bottom line is that Russia has set forth a cognizable claim under the doctrine of anticipatory collective [[Self-defense|self defense]], devised originally by the U.S. and NATO, as it applies to ([[Charter of the United Nations]]) Article 51 which is predicated on fact, not fiction. While it might be in vogue for people, organizations, and governments in the West to embrace the knee-jerk conclusion that Russia’s military intervention constitutes a wanton violation of the United Nations Charter and, as such, constitutes an illegal war of aggression, the uncomfortable [[truth]] is that, of all the claims made regarding the legality of pre-emption under [[W:Chapter_VII_of_the_United_Nations_Charter#Article_51|Article 51 of the United Nations Charter]], Russia’s justification for invading Ukraine is on solid legal ground.
**[[Scott Ritter]], [https://consortiumnews.com/2022/03/29/russia-ukraine-the-law-of-war-crime-of-aggression/ Russia, Ukraine &amp; the Law of War: Crime of Aggression], [[W:Consortium News|''Consortium News'']] (March 29, 2022)

* MOSCOW—Surveying his accomplishments in the past month with evident satisfaction, Vladimir Putin reportedly grew pleased Thursday as his plot to ruin the Russian economy and destroy its international standing went exactly to plan. “It’s incredible that in a few short weeks, my goal to tank the ruble and humiliate the Russian military on the global stage has gone off without a hitch,” said the Russian president, adding that when he laid out his plan to his inner circle months ago, few had believed that he could make such swift progress on stalling his army outside of Kyiv against a military that was an embarrassing order of magnitude smaller than his own. “The cherry on top is that by isolating myself from every country in Europe and driving the world together in condemnation of me, I’ve essentially made us into a vassal state of China’s. So we’re basically fucked from an economic and geopolitical perspective, which is just what I hoped to get out of this war. Now if I can just a get a few more thousand of my own troops killed, I’ll have everything I could ever want.” At press time, Putin had reportedly begun devising plans to invade Estonia with the express intention of spreading his forces ever thinner across eastern Europe in an unwinnable quagmire.
**''The Onion'', parody news agency, [https://www.theonion.com/putin-pleased-as-plot-to-ruin-russian-economy-destroy-1848667941 &quot;Putin Pleased As Plot To Ruin Russian Economy, Destroy International Standing Goes Exactly To Plan&quot;] (March 17, 2022)

*The bitter truth is that Washington's foreign policy establishment never actually considered [[Zelensky]] - or his predecessor [[Petro Poroshenko|Poroshenko]] - to be allies or partners of the United States. Overflowing with a toxic mix of ignorance, arrogance, and extreme cynicism, Washington's elites have always viewed [[Ukraine]] as a tool to &quot;regime-change&quot; a [[Russia]] that, after its post-Yeltsin recovery, would no longer take its direction from them. The false gods of [[American exceptionalism]] are jealous ones indeed.&lt;BR&gt;The [[Foreign policy of the United States|American foreign policy]] establishment wanted a perpetual &quot;Yanks to the Rescue&quot; Russia, whereby US &quot;consultants&quot; and spooks would ensure that the most obsequious candidate would continue to win and rule. A string of Russian presidents who would, à la Shevardnadze and a whole string of other post-Soviet leaders, run the country like a family business: lots of biznis deals for family members... and maybe 10 percent for the &quot;big guy.&quot; Americans are victims (willing or not) of a mass media system as propagandistic as any that existed during Soviet Communism.... When it became obvious that Yeltsin's one-time understudy, Vladimir Putin, wasn't going to play that way, the party line came down that he must be demonized. ...Putin had to be demonized and, ultimately, &quot;regime-changed.&quot;... Discourse in the US is so infantile that just writing this objective truth will no doubt land this author in the &quot;Putin's puppet&quot; purgatory. Not for the first time.
**[http://www.ronpaulinstitute.org/archives/featured-articles/2022/february/25/washingtons-crocodile-tears-over-ukraines-destruction/ Daniel McAdams, Washington’s Crocodile Tears Over Ukraine’s Destruction], ''The Ron Paul Institute for Peace &amp; Prosperity'' (February 26, 2022)

==== Australia ====
* There must be a price for the unprovoked, unlawful, unwarranted, unjustified attacks and threats and intimidation that has been imposed by Russia on Ukraine. This cannot be a consequence-free action by Vladimir Putin and the Russian regime.
** Australian Prime Minister [[Scott Morrison]], quoted in [https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2022/2/24/world-reaction-putin-orders-military-operation-in-ukraine &quot;World reacts to Russia’s attack on Ukraine&quot;], Al Jazeera, 24 February 2022

==== Belgium ====
* Everything we see today is proof that President Putin made a wrong calculation, a wrong calculation about the decision of the Ukrainians to defend themselves, a wrong calculation about the decision of the West to make Russia pay The costs of this war, a miscalculation of the unity we have as European partners and a miscalculation of NATO’s determination in recent months are stronger than ever.
* Perhaps I should have mentioned one last miscalculation of President Putin – namely that he will not go unpunished. We see the war crimes committed, we see that the civilian population has been targeted, we see the refugees being attacked, it is very clear to us and we have discussed that we are united in the sense that these things must be known, evaluated and prosecuted at some point. Some people are responsible for what happened and must be held accountable.
** [[Alexander De Croo]], Prime Minister of Belgium, quoted in [https://www.tylaz.net/2022/04/12/alexander-de-croo-prime-minister-of-belgium-in-bucharest-putin-will-not-go-unpunished/ &quot;Alexander De Croo, Prime Minister of Belgium, in Bucharest: Putin will not go unpunished&quot;], Tylaz, 12 April 2022

==== Canada ====
* It is clear that Putin is systematically targeting civilians, whether it’s hospitals or train stations or maternity wards. This is one of the reasons why [[Canada]] was one of the first countries to call on the [[International Criminal Court]] to look into Putin’s [[war crimes]].
** Canadian Prime Minister [[Justin Trudeau]], quoted in [https://thehill.com/news/3263516-trudeau-putin-is-systematically-targeting-civilians-and-deliberately-committing-war-crimes/ &quot;Trudeau: Putin is ‘systematically targeting civilians’ and ‘deliberately committing’ war crimes&quot;], The Hill, 10 April 2022

* It is clear that Vladimir Putin is responsible for heinous [[war crimes]].
** Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, quoted in [https://www.ndtv.com/world-news/putin-is-responsible-for-heinous-war-crimes-justin-trudeau-in-ukraine-2957758 &quot;'Putin Is Responsible For Heinous War Crimes': Justin Trudeau in Ukraine&quot;], NDTV, 9 May 2022

* Putin has fundamentally miscalculated in a whole bunch of different ways.
* Putin was wrong and he is, right now, failing and flailing in his response to the situation.
* We continue to ensure that we do everything necessary to make sure Putin and his cronies are held to account.
** [https://apnews.com/article/united-nations-general-assembly-russia-ukraine-putin-justin-trudeau-d0892fa72f94bcf03c19fee5a07b0b6c &quot;Trudeau: Russia ‘failing and flailing’ in Ukraine war&quot;], AP News, 21 September 2022

==== Denmark ====
* I admire president Zelenskyy and the Ukrainian people for their courage, and how the continue defending their country in the unprovoked and illegal war of Putin. I look forward to the meeting with Zelenskyy, where my message will be that [[Denmark|Denmarrk]] continues helping Ukraine. The West stands together in supporting the Ukrainian people.
** [[Mette Frederiksen|Mette Fredriksen]], prime minister of Denmark, [https://www.regeringen.dk/nyheder/2022/statsministeren-besoeger-praesident-zelinskyy-i-kyiv/ &quot;Statsministeren besøger præsident Zelinskyy i Kyiv&quot;] (in Danish; &quot;The prime minister visits Zelenskyy in Kyiv), the Government of Denmark, 21 April 2022

==== Estonia ====
* Putin must not win this war.
** [[Kaja Kallas]], Prime Minister of Estonia, quoted in [https://edition.cnn.com/videos/politics/2022/03/20/sotu-kallas-full.cnn &quot;Estonian Prime Minister: 'Putin must not win this war'&quot;], CNN, 20 March 2022

* There can be no way back to business as usual with [Russian President Vladimir] Putin's Russia. Our aim should not be to do business with war criminals.
** Kaja Kallas, Prime Minister of Estonia, quoted in [https://news.err.ee/1608608212/kallas-there-can-be-no-way-back-to-business-as-usual-with-putin-s-russia &quot;Kallas: There can be no way back to business as usual with Putin's Russia&quot;], ERR, 25 May 2022

==== Finland ====
* With the situation going on in Ukraine, we have noticed that there is no possibility to trust Vladimir Putin and that he will do whatever he wants with no rationality whatsoever.
* There has been a shift after the Russian attack, and now the majority of the members of [[Finland|Finnish]] parliament support a NATO membership, as does the [[Finns|Finnish]] population.
** Alviina Alametsä, member of the Finnish Parliament and member of the Committee on Foreign Affairs of the European Parliament, quoted in [https://www.euractiv.com/section/defence-and-security/interview/capitals-mep-finlands-mistrust-towards-russia-is-increasing/ &quot;MEP: Finland’s mistrust towards Russia is increasing&quot;], Euractiv, 2 May 2022

==== France ====
* Putin rejected the diplomatic path and chose the path of war. We will take full responsibility for defending the sovereignty of our allies.
** President Emmanuel Macron, quoted in [https://www.axios.com/russia-ukraine-war-world-leaders-respond-e0b8066c-a77c-46e4-86b4-885892047716.html &quot;World leaders denounce Russia's &quot;hideous and barbaric&quot; attacks on Ukraine&quot;], Axios, 24 February 2022

==== Germany ====
* This February 24 is a terrible day for Ukraine and a gloomy day for Europe.
* It will become clear: Putin has made a serious mistake with his war.
** German Chancellor [[Olaf Scholz]], quoted in [https://www.dw.com/en/eu-and-nato-react-harshly-to-russias-ukraine-invasion/a-60895079 &quot;EU and NATO react harshly to Russia's Ukraine invasion&quot;], DW, 24 February 2022

* The images from Bucha are unbearable. Putin’s uninhibited violence is extinguishing innocent families and knows no boundaries.
** Annalena Baerbock, Germany’s foreign minister, quoted in [https://www.euronews.com/2022/04/04/us-ukraine-crisis-germany &quot;Germany’s foreign minister says Russia 'must pay' for uninhibited violence&quot;], Euronews, 4 April 2022

* Russia’s invasion of Ukraine remains a blatant breach of international law.
* The killing of thousands of civilians as we have seen is a war crime for which the Russian president bears responsibility.
* We feel immense grief for the victims and also, it must be said, great anger towards the Russian president and this senseless war.
** German Chancellor Olaf Scholz, quoted in [https://www.channelstv.com/2022/04/19/putin-bears-responsibility-for-war-crimes-in-ukraine-scholz/ &quot;Putin Bears Responsibility For ‘War Crimes’ In Ukraine – Scholz&quot;], Channels Television, 19 April 2022

==== Italy ====
* I am beginning to think that those people are right when they say: 'It is useless to talk to him, it's just a waste of time.'
* I have the impression that the horror of war with its carnage, with what they did to children and women, is completely independent of the words and phone calls that are made.
* So far, Putin's goal has not been the search for peace, but the attempt to annihilate the Ukrainian resistance, occupy the country and entrust it to a friendly government.
* What do we want to call Bucha's horror if not war crimes?
** Italian Prime Minister [[Mario Draghi]], quoted in [https://www.businessinsider.com/talking-to-putin-waste-time-says-italian-pm-mario-draghi-2022-4?r=US&amp;IR=T &quot;Talking to Putin is 'just a waste of time,' said Italian Prime Minister Mario Draghi&quot;], Business Insider, 18 April 2022

* Putin was pushed by the Russian population, by his party and by his ministers to invent this special operation.
* The troops were supposed to enter, reach Kyiv in a week, replace the Zelensky government with decent people and a week later come back.
* The aggression against Ukraine is unjustifiable and unacceptable, [&lt;nowiki/&gt;[[w:Forza Italia|Forza Italia]]'s] position is clear. We will always be with the [[European Union|EU]] and Nato.
* Massacres of civilians in Bucha and other localities are real war crimes.
** [[Silvio Berlusconi]], former Prime Minister, quoted in [https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-63005402 &quot;Silvio Berlusconi: Ex-PM defends Russian war on eve of Italian election&quot;], BBC, 23 September 2022

==== Latvia ====
* The brutal footage of attacks on Ukrainian civilians by Russian troops will be the evidence needed against Russian President Vladimir Putin and others to be held accountable for the brutal war in Ukraine at the Hague Tribunal and elsewhere.
** Prime Minister Krisjanis Karins, quoted in [https://www.baltictimes.com/putin_will_be_held_accountable_for_the_brutal_war_in_ukraine_at_the_hague_tribunal_-_karins/ &quot;Putin will be held accountable for the brutal war in Ukraine at the Hague Tribunal - Karins&quot;], Baltic Times, 17 March 2022

==== Lithuania ====
* From the very beginning of the war, I [have] said that [Putin] only understands the language of strength, and he can be stopped [only] on the battlefield — not by sanctions.
** Dalia Grybauskaite, former president of Lithuania, quoted in [https://www.cnbc.com/2022/06/29/putin-needs-to-be-stopped-in-the-battlefield-not-with-sanctions-says-ex-president-of-lithuania.html &quot;Putin needs to be stopped in the battlefield — not with sanctions, says ex-president of Lithuania&quot;], 29 June 2022

==== Netherlands ====
* Putin’s regime has cast a shadow of malice, revanchism and revisionism over Europe. Ukraine, a free and democratic country, has been attacked without provocation or justification. Ukrainian cities are being bombed and besieged. Ukrainian civilians driven out, wounded and killed. It’s shocking. Terrifying. And criminal.
** Prime Minister [[Mark Rutte]], in [https://www.government.nl/documents/speeches/2022/03/09/speech-by-prime-minister-mark-rutte-at-university-sciences-po-paris &quot;Speech by Prime Minister Mark Rutte at the university Sciences Po in Paris about the current developments in Ukraine&quot;], 9 March 2022

==== North Korea ====
* Today, Russia is reliably defending the dignity of the state and its fundamental interests from the challenges and threats by the US and its vassal forces. Such reality is unthinkable without your distinguished leadership and strong will.
** Kim Jong-Un, dictator, quoted in [https://www.koreaherald.com/view.php?ud=20221007000149 &quot;N. Korean leader touts Putin's leadership against 'US threat' in birthday message&quot;], Korea Herald, 7 October 2022

==== Norway ====
* Russia has started the invasion of Ukraine. A dark day in Europe, and for the people in Ukraine. A united international reaction to Putin's breach of international law is needed.
** [[Erna Solberg]], former Prime Minister of Norway, quoted in Norwegian in [https://www.dagsavisen.no/nyheter/innenriks/2022/02/24/store-norge-fordommer-pa-det-sterkeste-russlands-militaere-angrep-pa-ukraina/ &quot;Støre: Norge fordømmer på det sterkeste Russlands militære angrep på Ukraina&quot;], in English: &quot;(Prime Minister) Støre: Norway strongly condemns the Russian military attack on Ukraine&quot;, Dagsavisen, 24 February 2022

==== Poland ====
* We must immediately respond to Russia’s criminal aggression on Ukraine. Europe and the free world have to stop Putin. Today’s European Council should approve fiercest possible sanctions. Our support for Ukraine must be real.
** Polish Prime Minister [[Mateusz Morawiecki]], quoted in [https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2022/2/24/world-reaction-putin-orders-military-operation-in-ukraine &quot;World reacts to Russia’s attack on Ukraine&quot;], Al Jazeera, 24 February 2022

==== Spain ====
* Putin’s invasion of Ukraine is a clear violation of international law, a direct attack on our shared values.
** [[w:Pedro Sánchez|Pedro Sánchez]], president of Spain, in [https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/speeches-remarks/2022/06/28/remarks-by-president-biden-and-president-pedro-sanchez-of-the-kingdom-of-spain-before-bilateral-meeting-madrid-spain/ &quot;Remarks by President Biden and President Pedro Sánchez of the Kingdom of Spain Before Bilateral Meeting&quot;], The White House (USA), 28 June 2022

==== Sweden ====
* At the same time as Putin is driving Russia into isolation, we are strengthening Europe, our international cooperation and our safety.
* Sweden is not [[Neutrality|neutral]] if a European country is attacked or is in a crisis.
** Swedish Prime Minister [[Magdalena Andersson]], quoted in [https://www.nrk.no/nyheter/sveriges-statsminister_-_-vi-er-ikke-noytrale-1.15911367 &quot;Sveriges statsminister: – Vi er ikke nøytrale&quot;] (in Norwegian), NRK, 28 March 2022

==== UK ====
* I am driven to conclude that Putin was always determined to attack his neighbour, no matter what we did.
* Now we see him for what he is - a bloodstained aggressor, who believes in imperial conquest.
** UK Prime Minister [[Boris Johnson]], quoted in [https://www.lbc.co.uk/world-news/russia-hideous-barbaric-putin-boris-ukraine/ &quot;Putin is a 'bloodstained aggressor,' says PM as he unveils new sanctions on Russia&quot;], LBC, 24 February 2022
* The reality is that Vladimir Putin has already crossed the red line into barbarism.
** UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson, quoted in [https://www.timesofisrael.com/liveblog_entry/uks-johnson-says-putin-crossed-line-into-barbarism/ &quot;UK’s Johnson says Putin crossed line ‘into barbarism’&quot;], The Times of Israel, 24 March 2022

* Through their invasion of Ukraine, Putin, his inner circle and generals are now mirroring the [[fascism]] and tyranny of [[World War II|70 years ago]], repeating the errors of last century’s totalitarian regimes.
** UK Defence secretary Ben Wallace, quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2022/may/08/putins-fascism-and-tyranny-equal-to-nazis-ben-wallace-says &quot;Putin’s ‘fascism and tyranny’ equal to Nazis, Ben Wallace says&quot;], The Guardian, 9 May 2022

* How can you deal with a crocodile when it's in the middle of eating your left leg? The guy's completely not to be trusted.
** UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson, quoted in [https://www.newsweek.com/vladimir-putin-crocodile-who-cannot-trusted-boris-johnson-1710772 &quot;Vladimir Putin a 'Crocodile' Who Cannot Be Trusted—Boris Johnson&quot;], Newsweek, 27 May 2022

* If we let Putin get away with it and just annex, conquer sizable parts of a free, independent, sovereign country, which is what he is poised to do, if not the whole thing, then the consequences for the world are absolutely catastrophic.
* If you want a perfect example of toxic masculinity, it’s what he is doing in Ukraine.
** [https://eu.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2022/06/29/boris-johnson-ukraine-vladimir-putin-woman/7764976001/ &quot;Boris Johnson says there'd be no war in Ukraine if Vladimir Putin 'were a woman'&quot;], USA Today, 29. juni 2022

==== United States of America ====
* President Putin has chosen a premeditated war that will bring a catastrophic loss of life and human suffering. Russia alone is responsible for the death and destruction this attack will bring, and the United States and its allies and partners will respond in a united and decisive way. The world will hold Russia accountable.
** US President [[Joe Biden]], quoted in [https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2022/2/24/world-reaction-putin-orders-military-operation-in-ukraine &quot;World reacts to Russia’s attack on Ukraine&quot;], Al Jazeera, 24 February 2022

* He thought he could roll into Ukraine and the world would roll over. Instead, he met a wall of strength he could never anticipated or imagined: he met Ukrainian people.
** US President [[Joe Biden]], quoted in [https://www.reuters.com/world/europe/top-wrap-1-ukraines-besieged-cities-brace-more-russian-attacks-2022-03-02/ &quot;Russian advances on Ukrainian cities stall&quot;], Reuters, 2 March 2022

* I think he is a war criminal.
* We saw reports that Russian forces were holding hundreds of doctors and patients hostage in the largest hospital in Mariupol. These are atrocities. They're an outrage to the world. And the world is united in our support for Ukraine and our determination to make Putin pay a very heavy price.
* Putin is inflicting appalling, appalling devastation and horror on Ukraine, bombing apartment buildings, maternity wards, hospitals.
** US President [[Joe Biden]], quoted in [https://edition.cnn.com/2022/03/16/politics/biden-calls-putin-a-war-criminal/index.html &quot;Biden on Putin: 'I think he is a war criminal'&quot;], CNN, 16 March 2022

* This is disgusting.
* It has had the effect of him moving his forces into a wood chipper.
** US Defense Secretary [[Lloyd Austin]] in an interview with CBS, [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/lloyd-austin-defense-secretary-transcript-face-the-nation-03-20-2022/ &quot;Transcript: Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin on 'Face the Nation', March 20, 2022&quot;]

==== Vatican ====

* How much blood must still flow for us to realize that war is never a solution, only destruction? In the name of God and in the name of the sense of humanity that dwells in every heart, I renew my call for an immediate ceasefire.
* My appeal is addressed first and foremost to the President of the Russian Federation, imploring him to stop this spiral of violence and death, also for the sake of his own people.
** [[Pope Francis]], quoted in [https://newsbook.com.mt/en/pope-urges-putin-to-end-spiral-of-violence-and-death/ &quot;Pope Francis urges Putin to end ‘spiral of violence and death’&quot;], Newsbook, 2 October 2022

==== NATO ====
* President Putin has made a big mistake and that is to launch a war against an independent sovereign nation. He has underestimated the strength of the Ukrainian people, the bravery of the Ukrainian people and their armed forces
** General Secretary [[Jens Stoltenberg]], quoted in [https://www.moneycontrol.com/news/business/vladimir-putin-made-big-mistake-invading-ukraine-nato-chief-jens-stoltenberg-8269231.html &quot;Vladimir Putin made 'big mistake' invading Ukraine: NATO chief Jens Stoltenberg&quot;], Money Control, 24 March 2022
* President Putin thought he could crush the Ukrainian people and armed forces. He thought he could divide our democratic nations and he thought he could dictate what others do. President Putin was wrong.
* Winter is coming, and it will be hard. What we see now is a grinding war of attrition. This is a battle of wills and a battle of logistics. Therefore, we must sustain our support for Ukraine for the long term, so that Ukraine prevails as a sovereign independent nation.
** [https://www.newsweek.com/jens-stoltenberg-nato-ukraine-weapons-russia-war-crimea-1736097 &quot;NATO Chief Urges More Weapons for Ukraine—'Winter Is Coming'&quot;], Newsweek, 23 August 2022

==== United Nations ====
* President Putin, in the name of humanity, bring your troops back to Russia. In the name of humanity, do not allow to start in Europe what could be the worst war since the beginning of the [[21st century|century]], with consequences not only devastating for Ukraine, not only tragic for the Russian Federation, but with an impact we cannot even foresee in relation to their consequence for the global economy in the moment when we are emerging from [[COVID-19 pandemic|COVID-19]].
** UN Secretary General [[António Guterres|Antonio Guterres]], quoted in [https://www.jpost.com/international/article-698450 &quot;Guterres to Putin: ‘In the name of humanity, bring your troops back to Russia’&quot;], Jerusalem Post, 24 February 2022

==== International ====
* The International Judo Federation announces that Mr. Vladimir Putin and Mr. Arkady Rotenberg have been removed from all positions held in the International Judo Federation.
** [https://www.ijf.org/news/show/IJF-announcement-06032022 Official announcement of the International Judo Federation], 6 March 2022

==== Russia ====
* Sometimes, Putin even jokes about it, asking if the exact time when the war is to be unleashed has been announced.
** Putin’s press secretary [[Dmitry Peskov]], quoted in the Russian news agency Tass: [https://tass.com/politics/1403663 &quot;Laughing it up over West’s media hype: Putin jokes about ‘Russian plans to invade Ukraine’&quot;], 15 February 2022

* We - Russia - want to be a nation of peace. Alas, few people would call us that now. But let's at least not become a nation of frightened silent people. Of cowards who pretend not to notice the aggressive war against Ukraine unleashed by our obviously insane czar. I cannot, do not want and will not remain silent watching how pseudo-historical nonsense about the events of 100 years ago has become an excuse for Russians to kill Ukrainians, and for Ukrainians to kill Russians while defending themselves.It's the third decade of the 21st century, and we are watching news about people burning down in tanks and bombed houses. We are watching real threats to start a nuclear war on our TVs. I am from the USSR myself. I was born there. And the main phrase from there - from my childhood - was &quot;fight for peace.&quot; I call on everyone to take to the streets and fight for peace.
* Putin is not Russia. And if there is anything in Russia right now that you can be most proud of, it is those 6824 people who were detained because - without any call - they took to the streets with placards saying &quot;No War&quot;.
** [[Alexei Navalny|Alexey Navalny]] on [https://twitter.com/navalny/status/1498948991228293120 Twitter] (2 March 2022)

* The invasion of Ukraine is suicide for Putin.
** [https://www.france24.com/en/tv-shows/the-interview/20220302-the-invasion-of-ukraine-is-suicide-for-putin-says-kremlin-critic-mikhail-khodorkovsky &quot;'The invasion of Ukraine is suicide for Putin,' says Kremlin critic Mikhail Khodorkovsky&quot;], France24, 2 March 2022

* What is currently happening in Ukraine is a crime. Russia is a country-aggressor. All responsibility for this aggression lies on the conscience of one person: Vladimir Putin.
** [[Marina Ovsyannikova]], former producer in the Russian TV channel Rossiya 1, quoted in [https://www.occrp.org/en/daily/16085-russian-police-releases-journalist-who-defied-putin-s-propaganda &quot;Russian Police Release Journalist Who Defied Putin’s Propaganda&quot;], OCCRP - Organized Crime and Corruption Reporting Project, March 17 2022

* He can hang on for some time, but few weeks, months, down the road, many more people inside the system will begin questioning what he's doing, ordinary Russians will express discontent with deteriorating economic situation, huge losses in the war. This is something Putin never experienced.
** Vladimir Milov, former Russian deputy energy minister, quoted in [https://www.businessinsider.com/ex-russian-official-putin-could-soon-lose-grasp-on-power-2022-4 &quot;A former Russian official now working with an opposition leader says Putin could lose his grasp on power in a few months&quot;], Business Insider, 2 April 2022

* For twenty years of my diplomatic career I have seen different turns of our foreign policy, but never have I been so ashamed of my country as on February 24. The aggressive war unleashed by Putin … is not only a crime against the Ukrainian people, but also, perhaps, the most serious crime against the people of Russia, with a bold letter Z crossing out all hopes and prospects for a prosperous free society in our country.
** [[Boris Bondarev]], former Russian senior diplomat, quoted in [https://www.politico.eu/article/top-russian-diplomat-to-un-resigns-over-aggressive-ukraine-war/ &quot;Top Russian diplomat to UN resigns over Ukraine war&quot;], Politico, 23 May 2022

* Russia has never attacked anyone.
** Christian Russian-Orthodox patriarch [[Patriarch Kirill of Moscow | Kirill]], quoted in [https://www.euronews.com/my-europe/2022/06/03/not-acceptable-xavier-bettel-lashes-out-at-viktor-orban-over-kirill-s-removal-from-eu-sanc &quot;‘Not acceptable’: Xavier Bettel lashes out at Viktor Orbán over Kirill's removal from EU sanctions&quot;], Euro News, 3 June 2022

* There is a point where both liberal groups of people and pro-war groups of people can have the same goal. The goal can be for Putin to resign.
* The Russian army is being destroyed right now. So, we lose people, we lose weapons and we'll lose our ability to defend.
* Even Russian propaganda cannot hide it, that the Russian army is being defeated in Ukraine.
** Dmitry Palyuga, politician in Saint Petersburg, quoted in [https://edition.cnn.com/2022/09/16/europe/russia-putin-local-councilors-intl/index.html &quot;Local politicians team up to challenge Russian President Vladimir Putin&quot;], CNN, September 16 2022

* Putin’s image is tarnished. The next thing which is going to happen in Russian politics within the next like several months, maybe up to half a year, is the elites will start looking for a successor.
** Abbas Gallyamov, former speechwriter for Putin, quoted in [https://www.thedailybeast.com/former-kremlin-aide-abbas-gallyamov-says-russian-president-vladimir-putin-could-be-ousted-within-months &quot;Former Kremlin Aide Says Putin Ouster Could Be Right Around the Corner&quot;], The Daily Beast, 15 September 2022

==== Ukraine ====
* When Russia was preparing the invasion, Putin was not anticipating Ukrainians to defend their country with such determination. Not just a few, but the entire nation.
* The invasion was no surprise to me. But the brutality was. What the Russian soldiers are doing to the civilians is more than I can comprehend. The [[bombs]] they’re dropping on apartment buildings. The missile systems they’re using to shell residential areas. Those are war crimes.
* We don’t have as many soldiers as Russia. We don’t have as much equipment or as many missiles. But we have something they don’t have: and that is people who treasure their freedom and are ready to fight for it.
** [[Volodymyr Zelenskyy|Volodymyr Zelensky]], President of Ukraine, quoted in [https://www.zeit.de/politik/ausland/2022-03/wolodymyr-selenskyj-ukraine-russia-war-interview-english &quot;&quot;With Ukraine at Your Side, You Feel Safe&quot;], Zeit, 9. mars 2022

=== 2023 ===

==== Armenia ====
* If Putin comes to Armenia, he should be arrested.
** Gagik Melkonyan, deputy of the Armenian National Assembly, quoted in [https://www.thedailybeast.com/armenia-warns-vladimir-putin-he-will-be-arrested-for-russian-war-crimes-if-he-visits &quot;Russian Ally Warns Putin: Don’t Visit—or You’ll Get Arrested&quot;], Daily Beast, 29 March 2023

==== Austria ====
* Austria is a party to the Rome Statute. This means that Austria, like all other contracting parties, is obliged to cooperate with the ICC: arrest warrants issued by the Court must be executed and persons wanted by the Court must be arrested.
** Ministry of Foreign Affairs of Austria, quoted in [https://news.yahoo.com/austria-arrest-putin-bring-him-185528932.html &quot;Austria to arrest Putin and bring him to Hague if he decides to visit&quot;], Yahoo News, 24 March 2023

==== Germany ====
* Germany is then obliged to arrest President Putin and hand him over to the ICC [International Court of Justice] if he enters German territory.
** Marco Buschmann, Minister of Justice, quoted in [https://www.spiegel.de/politik/marco-buschmann-deutschland-ist-verpflichtet-putin-zu-inhaftieren-a-d791963e-6c1f-4367-8388-26e1d22ef538 &quot;»Deutschland ist verpflichtet, Putin zu inhaftieren«&quot;], Der Spiegel, 19 March 2023

==== North Korea ====
* North Korea supports all Putin's decisions.
** Kim Jong-Un, supreme leader of North Korea, quoted in [https://abcnews.go.com/International/north-koreas-kim-jong-arrives-meeting-russian-president/story?id=103142729 &quot;Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin meet for hours in 'fight against imperialism'&quot;], ABC News, 13 September 2023

==== South Africa ====
* We have no option not to arrest Putin. If he comes here, we will be forced to detain him.
** A government official, said in connection with a BRICS meeting planned for August 2023, quoted in [https://www.themoscowtimes.com/2023/05/01/south-africa-warns-putin-could-face-arrest-while-attending-brics-summit-a80994 &quot;South Africa Warns Putin Could Face Arrest While Attending BRICS Summit&quot;], Moscow Times, 1 May 2023
* I must highlight, for the sake of transparency, that South Africa has obvious problems with executing a request to arrest and surrender President Putin. Russia has made it clear that arresting its sitting president would be a declaration of war.
** [[Cyril Ramaphosa]], President of South Africa, quoted in [https://apnews.com/article/south-africa-ramaphosa-putin-arrest-warrant-c62b4be0fd177d827214199cb60db98f South African leader says that arresting Putin if he comes to Johannesburg next month would be ‘war’], Associated Press, 18 July 2023

==== USA ====
* President Putin spent two decades trying to build Russia's military into a modern force. Kremlin often claimed they had the second strongest military in the world. And many believed it. Today, many see Russia's military as the second strongest in Ukraine. Its equipment, technology, leadership, troops, strategy, tactics and morale, a case study in failure.
** [[Antony Blinken]], US Secretary of State, quoted in [https://www.dagbladet.no/video/latterliggjor-russland/4agSpjFi &quot;Latterliggjør Russland&quot;], Dagbladet (Norway), 5 June 2023

*Vladimir Putin, too, is a master at mirroring, and has been since the early days of his career in politics. Throughout Russia's illegal invasion and occupation of Ukraine, Putin would accuse the Ukrainian government of the precise crimes he was busily committing, or considering committing, himself.
**[[Naomi Klein]] ''Doppelganger: A Trip into the Mirror World'' (2023)

* I grew up in the [[1980s]] in the [[United Kingdom|UK]], and we had the [[Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament]], all that. People were very, very aware. When I was 13, me and my friends, we were convinced we would die in a [[nuclear holocaust]]… What I remember from the '80s is that the [[fear]] of [[nuclear war]] had receded in favor of fear of [[Environmental degradation|environmental destruction]]. It was almost like we couldn't sustain the fear of it for that long. We have a complicated relationship with our fear. And yes, Putin has been using that doomsday threat and that fear to saber-rattle. It's extremely unnerving.
** [[Christopher Nolan]], as quoted in [https://www.wired.com/story/christopher-nolan-oppenheimer-ai-apocalypse/ How Christopher Nolan Learned to Stop Worrying and Love AI], by Maria Streshinsky, 20 June 2023, Wired.com

* What Putin is doing in Ukraine is not just reckless, not just a war of choice, not just an invasion in a class of its own for overreach, mendacity, immorality and incompetence, all wrapped in a farrago of lies. What he is doing is evil.
** [[Thomas Friedman|Thomas L. Friedman]], New York Times' foreign affairs Opinion columnist, quoted in [https://www.nytimes.com/2023/12/28/opinion/2023-journalism-writing-sentences.html &quot;The Best Sentences of 2023&quot;], [[New York Times]], 28 December 2023

==== Russia ====
* Vladimir Putin became intimidated by Ukraine choosing the path to freedom and democracy. That's why the Russian army bombs maternity wards, schools, hospitals, rapes and kills civilians and throws their bodies in mass graves. Putin and everyone who supports him are dead inside and they must be defeated.
* Vladimir Vladimorovich: The Kremlin walls became your prison walls. You have already lost. You know it. That's why you are so afraid. You lost in spirit. The world is on Ukraine's side. The world is with the people of Ukraine.
** [[Nadezhda Tolokonnikova|Nadya Tolokonnikova]], founding member of Pussy Riot, speaking at [[w:TED|TED]]: [https://www.ted.com/talks/nadya_tolokonnikova_pussy_riot_s_powerful_message_to_vladimir_putin/c &quot;Pussy Riot's powerful message to Vladimir Putin&quot;], April 2023
* Our commander in chief is not going to win this war at all.
* Whatever victories our army achieves in this war, we are going to lose it with this kind of approach of the country's leadership.
* He's never seen a tank except in a parade, what's wrong with his head? He's really acting not even like an old man, but like a child.
** [[Igor Girkin]], quoted in [https://www.newsweek.com/putin-girkin-stelkov-ukraine-war-win-1808087 &quot;Putin Is 'Not Going To Win This War,' Warns Igor Girkin&quot;], ''Newsweek'' (21 June 2023).

* For 23 years, the country was led by a lowlife who managed to ‘blow dust in the eyes’ of a significant part of the population. Now he is the last island of legitimacy and stability of the state. [...] But the country will not be able to withstand another six years of this cowardly bum in power.
** [[Igor Girkin]] on Telegram (18 July 2023), quoted in [https://edition.cnn.com/2023/07/21/europe/igor-girkin-arrest-russia-intl/index.html &quot;Pro-war Russian blogger who called Putin a ‘lowlife’ arrested in Moscow], CNN (21 July 2023).

==== Ukraine ====
* '''We are not ready to give our freedom to this f[***]ing terrorist, Putin. That’s it. That’s why we are fighting.'''
** President Volodymyr Zelensky, on the American TV channel NBC in the program &quot;Meet the press&quot; (5 November 2023)

==== Organisations ====
===== NATO =====
* President Putin's war of aggression against Ukraine is the biggest security crisis in Europe since the [[World War II|Second World War]]. It is not only a direct threat to the existence of Ukraine as a free and independent country, but to the entire rules-based international order. Putin must not win. If he does, it will show that aggression works and that force is rewarded. This would be dangerous for our own security, and for the whole world.&lt;br&gt;This war did not start in 2022, it started in 2014, when Russia illegally annexed Crimea and entered eastern Ukraine. Since then, NATO Allies have trained tens of thousands of Ukrainian soldiers and supported its defence and security sector. NATO will continue to stand by Ukraine for as long as it takes.
** [[Jens Stoltenberg]], General Secretary of NATO, in [https://www.nato.int/cps/en/natohq/opinions_212795.htm The Secretary General’s Annual Report 2022], 21 March 2023

* President Putin wanted to slam NATO’s door shut. Today, we show the world that he failed. That aggression and intimidation do not work. Instead of less NATO, he has achieved the opposite. More NATO. And our door remains firmly open.
** Jens Stoltenberg, welcoming Finland as it joins NATO, [https://www.nato.int/cps/en/natohq/opinions_213464.htm &quot;Press Statement by NATO Secretary General Jens Stoltenberg with the President of Finland, Sauli Niinistö&quot;] 4 April 2023

===== Amnesty International =====
* The people of Ukraine have suffered unimaginable horror during this war of aggression over the last 12 months. Let us be clear: the hands of Vladimir Putin and his armed forces are stained with blood. Survivors deserve justice and reparations for all they have endured.
** Agnès Callamard, Secretary General of Amnesty International, in [https://www.amnesty.org/en/latest/news/2022/03/latest-news-on-russias-war-on-ukraine/ &quot;Ukraine: one year on a humanitarian crisis continues&quot;], Amnesty International, retrieved 18 July 2023

===== International Criminal Court =====
* Today, the Pre-Trial Chamber has issued arrest warrants in relation to the following two individuals:
:- Mr Vladimir Putin, President of the Russian Federation; and
:- Ms [[w:Maria_Lvova-Belova|Maria Lvova-Belova]], Commissioner for Children’s Rights in the Office of the President of the Russian Federation.
* On the basis of evidence collected and analysed by my Office pursuant to its independent investigations, the Pre-Trial Chamber has confirmed that there are reasonable grounds to believe that President Putin and Ms Lvova-Belova bear criminal responsibility for the unlawful deportation and transfer of Ukrainian children from occupied areas of Ukraine to the Russian Federation, contrary to article 8(2)(a)(vii) and article 8(2)(b)(viii) of the Rome Statute.
:* [https://www.icc-cpi.int/news/statement-prosecutor-karim-khan-kc-issuance-arrest-warrants-against-president-vladimir-putin &quot;Statement by Prosecutor Karim A. A. Khan KC on the issuance of arrest warrants against President Vladimir Putin and Ms Maria Lvova-Belova&quot;], Office of the Prosecutor, International Court, 18 March 2023

=== 2024 ===
* Russian liberal reformers in the 1990s laid the groundwork for the rise of a ruler like Putin by using despotic means to achieve the liberal goal of privatizing the economy rather than seeking to create a new political system that would institutionalize conflicts, [St. Petersburg sociologist] Elena Chernova says.
** {{w|Paul A. Goble}}, [https://windowoneurasia2.blogspot.com/2024/06/putin-arose-because-russian-reformers.html &quot;Putin Arose Because Russian Reformers of 1990s Focused on Privatizing Economy Rather than on Creating a New Political System, Chernova Says&quot;], ''Window on Eurasia'' (June 17, 2024)

*[Putin] is 100, more than 100% rational person. When he negotiates, when he starts explaining, when he makes an offer, saying &quot;yes&quot; or &quot;no&quot;, he is super, super rational. As they say in Hungarian, &quot;cold-blooded.&quot; You know, cold-blooded, reserved. You know, very careful, punctual, prepared. You know, disciplined. So negotiating and being ready for them is a real challenge if you want to maintain an equal intellectual and political level with him.
** [[Viktor Orbán]], [https://weltwoche.ch/daily/video/viktor-orban-in-moskau-der-ungarn-premier-ueber-putin-frieden-und-seine-historische-woche/ Viktor Orbán in Moskau: Das erste Interview nach dem Putin-Gipfel] (2024)

=== 2026 ===
*Vladimir Putin should resign and be put on trial as a war criminal. His personalised, corrupt system is doomed to collapse, as we’re seeing now with the [[Russian invasion of Ukraine|war in Ukraine]] and elsewhere.
**pro-Kremlin blogger Ilya Remeslo quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/putin-llya-remeslo-arrested-blogger-b2941860.html &quot;Russian blogger who unexpectedly denounced Putin ‘has been put in psychiatric facility’&quot;], ''Independent'' (19 March 2026)

==See Also==
* [[Boris Yeltsin]]
* [[Mikhail Gorbachev]]
* [[Russia]]
* [[Soviet Union]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{wikinews|Vladmir Putin}}
{{wikisource author}}
{{commons|Vladimir Putin}}
* [http://eng.kremlin.ru/ The official site of the President of the Russian Federation]
* [http://www.uncommonknowledge.org/800/826.html Transcript of an American TV discussion held in November 2003; discusses whether Putin is a democrat or a dictator]
* [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/415124.stm BBC - Vladimir Putin: Spy turned politician]
* [http://putinru.com/ PutinRu.com - Vladimir Putin - President of Russian Federation]
* [http://www.ocnus.net/artman/publish/article_16286.shtml Atlantic Monthly- The Accidental Autocrat]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Putin, Vladimir}}
[[Category:Presidents of Russia]]
[[Category:Prime Ministers of Russia]]
[[Category:People from St. Petersburg]]
[[Category:Eastern Orthodox Christians]]
[[Category:1952 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Conservatives]]
[[Category:Nationalists]]
[[Category:Judoka]]
[[Category:Mixed martial artists]]
[[Category:Communist Party of the Soviet Union members]]
[[Category:Secret agents]]
[[Category:Former Marxists]]
[[Category:Businesspeople from Russia]]
[[Category:Critics of the European Union]]
[[Category:Politicians from Russia]]
[[Category:People indicted for war crimes]]</text>
      <sha1>67beccdhfoqzgn75ue483jw96mho5w7</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Wikiquote:Vandalism in progress</title>
    <ns>4</ns>
    <id>4250</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943977</id>
      <parentid>3943723</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T15:10:44Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>MABot</username>
        <id>3002050</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>Bot: Archiving 1 thread (older than 10 days) to [[Wikiquote:Vandalism in progress/Archive/16]]</comment>
      <origin>3943977</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="2625" sha1="4xnkiv930lna01eqcgdskq8jrdbr2l3" xml:space="preserve">{{/header}} {{User:MABot/config
|archive = Wikiquote:Vandalism in progress/Archive/%(counter)d
|algo = old(10d)
|counter = 16
|maxarchivesize = 300K
|minthreadsleft = 2
|archiveheader = 1
|minthreadstoarchive = 1
}}
&lt;!-- Please add a new report below this line, thanks! --&gt;

== New report 2026-05-9, 04:16 ==

* {{Vandal|Hammond Johns}}

Userpage issues, removed CSD tag. [[w:WP:AB]] [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 04:17, 9 May 2026 (UTC)

:Sorry, I wasn't trying to vandalise anything. I was just trying to fix the issues you raised. I'm new at this. I'll just leave it now &amp; will accept any decision you make. [[User:Hammond Johns|Hammond Johns]] ([[User talk:Hammond Johns|talk]]) 05:19, 9 May 2026 (UTC)
:{{notdone}} User has been warned. [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 12:57, 14 May 2026 (UTC)

== New report 2026-05-12, 22:19 ==

* {{Vandal|Ragnir 29912}}

Vandalism. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 22:19, 12 May 2026 (UTC)

:{{done}} ―[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''&lt;span style=&quot;color:black&quot;&gt;v&lt;/span&gt;f&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:26, 12 May 2026 (UTC)

== New report 2026-05-17, 02:26 ==

* {{Vandal|Mozang555}}

Long-term abuse. [[Special:CentralAuth/Jinnahpk]], [[Special:CentralAuth/Hipponz]]. Created page [[Akhter Aly Kureshy]] ([[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Akhtar Aly Kureshy]]) [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 02:30, 17 May 2026 (UTC)

:{{done}} ―[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''&lt;span style=&quot;color:black&quot;&gt;v&lt;/span&gt;f&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:33, 17 May 2026 (UTC)

== New report 2026-05-19, 11:35 ==

* {{Vandal|Capitalskinspa25}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:27, 19 May 2026 (UTC)
: {{done}} by UDScott. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 14:50, 19 May 2026 (UTC)

== New report 2026-05-20, 14:06 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-30337-22}}

repeated vandalism, several temp accounts before on this article before already, so pls consider protecting the page. [[User:Icodense|Icodense]] ([[User talk:Icodense|talk]]) 14:07, 20 May 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done}} [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 14:19, 20 May 2026 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>4xnkiv930lna01eqcgdskq8jrdbr2l3</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>6981</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944001</id>
      <parentid>3941822</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T18:00:13Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Pmantyla</username>
        <id>37604</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Add quote from Chapter LIX: &quot;The sentiment of fear ...&quot;</comment>
      <origin>3944001</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="59041" sha1="0wjy8fs5hqrmlt889kbau9elph6cu3f" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title|force=true}}
'''''[[w:The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire|The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire]]''''' (Vol. 1, 1776; Vols. II-III, 1781; Vols. IV-VI, 1788) by [[Edward Gibbon]]. One of the most famous historical works written in any language and covering over 1000 years of history, from the end of the [[:w:Antoninus Pius|Antonine]] dynasty to the fall of [[:w:Constantinople|Constantinople]].

== Volume I ==
* [[:w:Trajan|Trajan]] was ambitious of fame; and as long as mankind shall continue to bestow more liberal applause on their destroyers than on their benefactors, the thirst of military glory will ever be the vice of the most exalted characters.
** Chapter I

* The terror of the Roman arms added weight and dignity to the moderation of the emperors. They preserved peace by a constant preparation for war; and while justice regulated their conduct, they announced to the nations on their confines, that they were as little disposed to endure, as to offer an injury.
** Chapter I

* Yet Phoenicia and Palestine will forever live in the memory of mankind; since America, as well as Europe, has received [[:w:alphabet|letters]] from the one, and religion from the other.
** Chapter I

* That public virtue which among the ancients was denominated patriotism, is derived from a strong sense of our own interest in the preservation and prosperity of the free government of which we are members. Such a sentiment, which had rendered the legions of the republic almost invincible, could make but a very feeble impression on the mercenary servants of a despotic prince; and it became necessary to supply that defect by other motives, of a different, but not less forcible nature; honour and religion.
** Chapter I

* The masters of the fairest and most wealthy climates of the globe turned with contempt from gloomy hills, assailed by the winter tempest, from lakes concealed in a blue mist, and from cold and lonely heaths, over which the deer of the forest were chased by a troop of naked barbarians.
** Chapter I

* '''The various modes of worship, which prevailed in the Roman world, were all considered by the people, as equally true; by the philosopher, as equally false; and by the magistrate, as equally useful.'''
** Chapter II

* But the zeal of fanaticism prevailed over the cold and feeble efforts of policy.
** Chapter II

* We may be well assured, that a writer, conversant with the world, would never have ventured to expose the gods of his country to public ridicule, had they not already been the objects of secret contempt among the polished and enlightened orders of society.
** Chapter II

* Under a democratical government, the citizens exercise the powers of sovereignty; and those powers will be first abused, and afterwards lost, if they are committed to an unwieldy multitude. From the foot of the Alps to the extremity of Calabria, all the natives of Italy were born citizens of Rome. Their partial distinctions were obliterated, and they insensibly coalesced into one great nation, united by language, manners, and civil institutions, and equal to the weight of a powerful empire. The republic gloried in her generous policy, and was frequently rewarded by the merit and services of her adopted sons. Had she always confined the distinction of Romans to the ancient families within the walls of the city, that immortal name would have been deprived of some of its noblest ornaments.
** Chapter II

* Opinions of the Academics and [[:w:Epicureanism|Epicureans]] were of a less religious cast; but whilst the modest science of the former induced them to doubt, the positive ignorance of the latter urged them to deny, the providence of a Supreme Ruler.
** Chapter II

* In Etruria, in Greece, and in Gaul, it was the first care of the senate to dissolve those dangerous confederacies, which taught mankind that, as the Roman arms prevailed by division, they might be resisted by union. Those princes, whom the ostentation of gratitude or generosity permitted for a while to hold a precarious sceptre, were dismissed from their thrones, as soon as they had performed their appointed task of fashioning to the yoke the vanquished nations.
** Chapter II

* The situation of the Greeks was very different from that of the barbarians. The former had been long since civilized and corrupted. They had too much taste to relinquish their language, and too much vanity to adopt any foreign institutions. Still preserving the prejudices, after they had lost the virtues, of their ancestors, they affected to despise the unpolished manners of the Roman conquerors, whilst they were compelled to respect their superior wisdom and power.
** Chapter II

* Without destroying the distinction of ranks, a distant prospect of freedom and honors was presented, even to those whom pride and prejudice almost disdained to number among the human species.
** Chapter II

* The influence of the clergy, in an age of superstition, might be usefully employed to assert the rights of mankind; but so intimate is the connection between the throne and the altar, that the banner of the church has very seldom been seen on the side of the people.
** Chapter III

* The two Antonines (for it is of them that we are now speaking) governed the Roman world forty-two years, with the same invariable spirit of wisdom and virtue. ... Their united reigns are possibly the only period of history in which the happiness of a great people was the sole object of government.

* [[:w:Antoninus Pius|Antoninus]] diffused order and tranquillity over the greatest part of the earth.  His reign is marked by the rare advantage of furnishing very few materials for history; which is, indeed, little more than the register of the crimes, follies, and misfortunes of mankind.
** Chapter III This has often been truncated to : '''History...is indeed little more than the register of the crimes, follies, and misfortunes of mankind.'''

* The principles of a free constitution are irrevocably lost, when the legislative power is nominated by the executive.
** Chapter III

* But the power of instruction is seldom of much efficacy, except in those happy dispositions where it is almost superfluous.
** Chapter IV, part I
** In describing how [[w:Marcus Aurelius|Marcus Aurelius]] summoned men of virtue and learning to attempt to broaden the mind of his son [[w:Commodus|Commodus]].

* The most worthless of mankind are not afraid to condemn in others the same disorders which they allow in themselves; and can readily discover some nice difference of age, character, or station, to justify the partial distinction.
** Chapter VI

* In every age and country, the wiser, or at least the stronger, of the two sexes, has usurped the powers of the state, and confined the other to the cares and pleasures of domestic life.
** Chapter VI

* Metellus Numidicus, the censor, acknowledged to the Roman people in a public oration that had kind Nature allowed us to exist without the help of women, we should be delivered from a very troublesome companion; and he could recommend matrimony, only as the sacrifice of private pleasure to public duty.
** Chapter VI, part III, footnote 64

* Augustus was sensible that mankind is governed by names; nor was he deceived in his expectation, that the senate and people would submit to slavery, provided they were respectfully assured that they still enjoyed their ancient freedom.
** Chapter VII

* Twenty-two acknowledged concubines, and a library of sixty-two thousand volumes, attested the variety of [[:w:Gordian II|his]] inclinations; and from the productions which he left behind him, it appears that the former as well as the latter were designed for use rather than for ostentation.
** Chapter VII

* Although the progress of civilisation has undoubtedly contributed to assuage the fiercer passions of human nature, it seems to have been less favourable to the virtue of chastity, whose most dangerous enemy is the softness of the mind. The refinements of life corrupt while they polish the intercourse of the sexes.
** Chapter IX, part III

* Rational confidence ... is the just result of knowledge and experience.
** Chapter X, part III

* The voice of history .. is often little more than the organ of hatred or flattery.
** Chapter X, part IV

* &quot;You have lost,&quot; said Saturninus on the day of his elevation, &quot;a useful commander, and you have made a very wretched emperor.&quot;
** Chapter X, part IV

* Fear has been the original parent of superstition and every new calamity urges trembling mortals to deprecate the wrath of their invisible enemies.
** Chapter XI, part II

* Such was the unhappy condition of the Roman emperors, that, whatever might be their conduct, their fate was commonly the same. A life of pleasure or virtue, of severity or mildness, of indolence or glory, alike led to an untimely grave; and almost every reign is closed by the same disgusting repetition of treason and murder.
** Chapter XII, part I

* &quot;Alas!&quot; he [Saturninus] said, &quot;the republic has lost a useful servant, and the rashness of an hour has destroyed the services of many years. You know not,&quot; continued he, &quot;the misery of sovereign power: a sword is perpetually suspended over our head. We dread our very guards, we distrust our companions. The choice of action or of repose is no longer in our disposition, nor is there any age, or character, or conduct, that can protect us from the censure of envy. In thus exalting me to the throne, you have doomed me to a life of cares, and to an untimely fate.
** Chapter XII, part II

* But whenever the offence inspires less horror than the punishment, the rigour of penal law is obliged to give way to the common feelings of mankind.
** Chapter XIV, part IV

* It was no longer esteemed infamous for a Roman to survive his honour and independence.
** Chapter XIV, part IV

* The desire of perfection became the ruling passion of their soul; and it is well known that, while reason embraces a cold mediocrity, our passions hurry us with rapid violence over the space which lies between the most opposite extremes.
** Chapter XV, part V

* But the human character, however it may be exalted or depressed by a temporary enthusiasm, will return by degrees to its proper and natural level, and will resume those passions that seem the most adapted to its present condition.
** Chapter XV, part VI

* &quot;Unhappy men!&quot; exclaimed the proconsul Antoninus to the Christians of Asia, &quot;If you are thus weary of your lives, is it so difficult for you to find ropes and precipices?&quot;
** Chapter XVI, part IV
** Zealous Christians apparently provoked the authorities in order to become martyrs

== Volume II ==

* '''In the various states of society, armies are recruited from very different motives. Barbarians are urged by the love of war; the citizens of a free republic may be prompted by a principle of duty; the subjects, or at least the nobles, of a monarchy, are animated by a sentiment of honor; but the timid and luxurious inhabitants of a declining empire must be allured into the service by the hopes of profit, or compelled by the dread of punishment.'''
** Chapter XVII

* The progress of despotism ... tends to disappoint its own purpose.
** Chapter XVII, part IV

* The general peace which [Constantine] maintained during the last fourteen years of his reign, was a period of apparent splendour rather than of real prosperity; and the old age of Constantine was disgraced by the opposite yet reconcilable vices of rapaciousness and prodigality.
** Chapter XVIII

* But the operation of the wisest laws is imperfect and precarious. They seldom inspire virtue, they cannot always restrain vice.
** Chapter XX, part I

* Corruption, the most infallible symptom of constitutional liberty.
** Chapter XXI

* Whenever the spirit of fanaticism, at once so credulous and so crafty, has insinuated itself into a noble mind, it insensibly corrodes the vital principles of virtue and veracity.
** Chapter XXII, part I

* It is the common calamity of old age to lose whatever might have rendered it desirable.
** Chapter XXIV, part I

* I die without remorse, as I have lived without guilt.
** Julian the Apostate
** Chapter XXIV, part IV

* Flattery is a foolish suicide; she destroys herself with her own hands.
** Chapter XXV, part I, footnote 1

* the inquisition into the crime of magic, which, under the reign of the two brothers, was so rigorously prosecuted both at Rome and Antioch, was interpreted as the fatal symptom, either of the displeasure of Heaven, or the depravity of mankind. Let us not hesitate to indulge a liberal pride, that, in the present age, the enlightened part of Europe has abolished a cruel and odious prejudice, which reigned in every climate of the globe, and adhered to every system of religious opinion. The nations, the sects, of the roman world, admitted with equal credulity, and similar abhorrence, the reality of that infernal art, which was able to control the eternal order of the planets, and the voluntary operations of the human mind. They dreaded the mysterious power of spells and incantations, of potent herbs, and execrable rites; which could extinguish or recall life, inflame the passions of the soul, blast the works of creation, and extort from the reluctant demons the secrets of futurity. They believed, with the wildest inconsistency, that this preternatural dominion of the air, of earth, and of hell, was exercised, from the vilest motives of malice or gain, by some wrinkled hags and itinerate sorcerers, who passed their lives in penury and contempt. The arts of magic were equally condemned by the public opinion, and by the laws of Rome; but as they tended to gratify the most imperious passions of the heart of man, they were continually proscribed, and continually practiced.
** Chapter XXV

* But the wisdom and authority of the legislator are seldom victorious in a contest with the vigilant dexterity of private interest.
** Chapter XXV, part III

* A philosopher may deplore the eternal discord of the human race, but he will confess that the desire of spoil is a more rational provocation than the vanity of conquest.
** Chapter XXV, part V

* He was released from the miseries of life.
** Chapter XXV, part VI

* Ammianus is so eloquent that he writes nonsense.
** Chapter XXV, part VII, footnote 154

* The progress of manufactures and commerce insensibly collects a large multitude within the walls of a city; but these citizens are no longer soldiers, and the arts which adorn and improve the state of civil society corrupt the habits of the military life.
** Chapter XXVI, part I

* Man has much more to fear from the passions of his fellow-creatures than from the convulsions of the elements.
** Chapter XXVI, part I

* Resistance was fatal; flight was impracticable; and the patient submission of helpless innocence seldom found mercy from the barbarian conqueror.
** Chapter XXVI, part III

* Feeble and timid minds ... consider the use of the dilatory and ambiguous measures as the most admirable efforts of consummate prudence.
** Chapter XXVI, part III

* I reverence the field of battle, stained with their blood and the blood of the barbarians. Those honourable marks have been already washed away by the rains; but the lofty monuments of their bones, the bones of generals, of centurions, and of valiant warriors, claim a longer period of duration.
** Libanius
** Chapter XXVI, part IV

* The urgent consideration of the public safety may undoubtedly authorise the violation of every positive law. How far that or any other consideration may operate to dissolve the natural obligations of humanity and justice, is a doctrine of which I still desire to remain ignorant.
** Chapter XXVI, part V

== Volume III ==

* His profound veneration for the Christian clergy was rewarded by the applause and gratitude of a powerful order, which has claimed in every age the privilege of dispensing honours, both on earth and in heaven.
** Chapter XXVII, part I

* Yet every physician is prone to exaggerate the inveterate nature of the disease which he has cured.
** Chapter XXVII, part II, footnote 26.
** In this case remarking on the works of [[w:Gregory Nazianzen|Gregory Nazianzen]].

* If the exercise of justice is the most important duty, the indulgence of mercy is the most exquisite pleasure of a sovereign.
** Theodosius
** Chapter XXVII, part IV

* The son of Theodosius passed the slumber of his life, a captive in his palace, a stranger in his country, and the patient, almost the indifferent, spectator of the ruin of the Western empire, which was repeatedly attacked, and finally subverted, by the arms of the Barbarians. In the eventful history of a reign of twenty-eight years, it will seldom be necessary to mention the name of the emperor [[:w:Flavius Augustus Honorius|Honorius]].
** Chapter XXIX

* In populous cities, which are the seat of commerce and manufactures, the middle ranks of inhabitants, who derive their subsistence from the dexterity or labour of their hands, are commonly the most prolific, the most useful, and; in that sense, the most respectable part of the community.
** Chapter XXXI, part II

* '''There exists in human nature a strong propensity to depreciate the advantages, and to magnify the evils, of the present time'''s.
** Chapter XXXI, part IV
** In this case recent injuries to Rome from the Goths compared to those from the Gauls in former times.
** Similar &quot;Notwithstanding the propensity of mankind to exalt the past, and to depreciate the present,&quot; in volume I, chapter II, part IV.

* The groans of the dying excited only the envy of their surviving friends.
** Mariana de Rebus Hispanicis
** Chapter XXXI, part VI

* The inconstant, rebellious disposition of the people [of Armorica], was incompatible either with freedom or servitude.
** Chapter XXXI, part VI

* But the desire of obtaining the advantages, and of escaping the burthens, of political society, is a perpetual and inexhaustible source of discord.
** Chapter XXXI, part VI

* A military force was collected in Europe, formidable by their arms and numbers, if the generals had understood the science of command, and their soldiers the duty of obedience.
** Chapter XXXIV, part I

* In the hands of a popular preacher, an earthquake is an engine of admirable effect.
** Chapter XXXIV, part I, footnote 22 (it's footnote 21 in other editions)

* For what fortress, what city, in the wide extent of the Roman empire, can hope to exist, secure and impregnable, if it is our pleasure that it should be erased from the earth?
** Attila the Hun
** Chapter XXXIV, part II

* It was the opinion of Marcian, that war should be avoided as long as it is possible to preserve a secure and honourable peace; but it was likewise his opinion that peace cannot be honourable or secure, if the sovereign betrays a pusillanimous aversion to war.
** Chapter XXXV, part I

* The conflict was obstinate; the slaughter was mutual.
** Chapter XXXV, part I

* Whole generations may be swept away by the madness of kings in the space of a single hour.
** Chapter XXXV, part II

* I am ignorant, sir, of your motives or provocations; I only know that you have acted like a man who cuts off his right hand with his left.
** Unnamed Roman
** Chapter XXXV, part III

* But the emperor of the West, the feeble and dissolute Valentinian, who had reached his thirty-fifth year without attaining the age of reason or courage, abused this apparent security to undermine the foundations of his own throne by the murder of the patrician Aetius.
** Chapter XXXV, part III

* The Roman government appeared every day less formidable to its enemies, more odious and oppressive to its subjects.
** Chapter XXXV, part III

* But the day of his inauguration was the last day of his happiness.
** Chapter XXXVI, part I

* The successor of Avitus [Majorian] presents the welcome discovery of a great and heroic character, such as sometimes arise, in a degenerate age, to vindicate the honour of the human species.
** Chapter XXXVI, part II

* History has scarcely deigned to notice his [Libius Severus's] birth, his elevation, his character, or his death.
** Chapter XXXVI, part III

* The emperor was probably born in the province of Galatia, whose inhabitants, the Gallo-Grecians, were supposed to unite the vices of a savage and a corrupted people.
** Chapter XXXVI, part IV, footnote 103

* The revolution of ages may bring round the same calamities; but ages may revolve without producing a Tacitus to describe them.
** Chapter XXXVI, part IV, footnote 110

* He [Ennodius] adds weight to the narrative of Procopius, though we may doubt whether the devil actually contrived the siege of Pavia to distress the bishop and his flock.
** Chapter XXXVI, part V, footnote 119

* The Romans derided his [Marius's] indolence; they soon bewailed his activity.
** Chapter XXXVI, part V, footnote 130

* Severinus died in Noricum, A.D. 482. Six years afterwards his body, which scattered miracles as it passed, was transported by his disciples into Italy.
** Chapter XXXVI, part V, footnote 132

* They [the Ascetics] seriously renounced the business, and the pleasures, of the age; abjured the use of wine, of flesh, and of marriage; chastised their body, mortified their affections, and embraced a life of misery, as the price of eternal happiness.
** Chapter XXXVII, part I

* The stories of Paul, Hilarion, and Malchus, by the same author [St. Jerom], are admirably told; and the only defect of these pleasing compositions is the want of truth and common sense.
** Chapter XXXVII, part I, footnote 17

* The peace of the Eastern church was invaded by a swarm of fanatics [monks], incapable of fear, or reason, or humanity; and the Imperial troops acknowledged, without shame, that they were much less apprehensive of an encounter with the fiercest barbarians.
** Chapter XXXVII, part I

* Pleasure and guilt are synonymous terms in the language of the monks, and they had discovered, by experience, that rigid fasts and abstemious diet are the most effectual preservatives against the impure desires of the flesh.
** Chapter XXXVII, part II

* The monastic studies have tended, for the most part to darken, rather than to dispel, the cloud of superstition.
** Chapter XXXVII, part II

* I have somewhere heard or read the frank confession of a Benedictine abbot: &quot;My vow of poverty has given me an hundred thousand crowns a year; my vow of obedience has raised me to the rank of a sovereign prince.&quot; I forget the consequences of his vow of chastity.
** Chapter XXXVII, part II, footnote 57

* Recluse fanatics have few ideas or sentiments to communicate.
** Chapter XXXVII, part II

* Industry must be faint and languid which is not excited by the sense of personal interest.
** Chapter XXXVII, part II

* Their [the monks'] credulity debased and vitiated the faculties of the mind: they corrupted the evidence of history; and superstition gradually extinguished the hostile light of philosophy and science.
** Chapter XXXVII, part II

* All the manly virtues were oppressed by the servile and pusillanimous reign of the monks.
** Chapter XXXVII, part II

* The ferocious Germans [have] so often attempted, and who will always desire, to exchange the solitude of their woods and morasses for the wealth and fertility of Gaul.
** Tacitus
** Chapter XXXVIII, part I

* The fortune of nations has often depended on accidents.
** Chapter XXXVIII, part I

* They [the Gauls] derided the hairy and gigantic savages of the North; their rustic manners, dissonant joy, voracious appetite, and their horrid appearance, equally disgusting to the sight and to the smell.
** Chapter XXXVIII, part I

* The Gauls were endowed with all the advantages of art and nature, but, as they wanted courage to defend them, they were justly condemned to obey, and even to flatter, the victorious barbarians by whose clemency they held their precarious fortunes and their lives.
** Chapter XXXVIII, part I

* If you truly profess the Christian religion, why do you not restrain the king of the Franks? He has declared war against me, and forms alliances with my enemies for my destruction. A sanguinary and covetous mind is not the symptom of a sincere conversion: let him show his faith by his works.
** Gundobald, King of the Bugundians
** Chapter XXXVIII, part I

* Perhaps it would not be easy, within the same historical space, to find more vice and less virtue. We are continually shocked by the union of savage [Barbarian] and corrupt [Roman] manners.
** Chapter XXXVIII, part II, footnote 61

* A bloody and complete victory has sometimes yielded no more than the possession of the field; and the loss of ten thousand men has sometimes been sufficient to destroy, in a single day, the work of ages.
** Chapter XXXVIII, part II

* The love of freedom, so often invigorated and disgraced by private ambition, was reduced among the licentious Franks to the contempt of order and the desire of impunity.
** Chapter XXXVIII, part IV

* Every age, however destitute of science or virtue, sufficiently abounds with acts of blood and military renown.
** Chapter XXXVIII, part V

* By the revolution of Britain the limits of science as well as of empire were contracted. The dark cloud which had been cleared by the Phoenician discoveries, and finally dispelled by the arms of Caesar, again settled on the shores of the Atlantic, and a Roman province was again lost among the fabulous islands of the Ocean.
** Chapter XXXVIII, part V

* But the decline of Rome was the natural and inevitable effect of immoderate greatness. Prosperity ripened the principle of decay; the causes of destruction multiplied with the extent of conquest; and as soon as time or accident had removed the artificial supports, the stupendous fabric yielded to the pressure of its own weight.
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

* Instead of inquiring why the Roman empire was destroyed, we should rather be surprised that it had subsisted so long. 
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

* Extreme distress, which unites the virtue of a free people, embitters the factions of a declining monarchy.
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

* The clergy successfully preached the doctrines of patience and pusillanimity; the active virtues of society were discouraged; and the last remains of military spirit were buried in the cloister: a large portion of public and private wealth was consecrated to the specious demands of charity and devotion; and the soldiers' pay was lavished on the useless multitudes of both sexes who could only plead the merits of abstinence and chastity.
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

* The savage nations of the globe are the common enemies of civilised society; and we may inquire, with anxious curiosity, whether Europe is still threatened with a repetition of those calamities which formerly oppressed the arms and institutions of Rome.
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

* Yet this apparent security should not tempt us to forget that new enemies and unknown dangers may possibly arise from some obscure people, scarcely visible in the map of the world. The Arabs or Saracens, who spread their conquests from India to Spain, had languished in poverty and contempt till Mahomet breathed into those savage bodies the soul of enthusiasm.
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

* Europe is secure from any future irruption of barbarians; since, before they can conquer, they must cease to be barbarous.
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

* Yet the experience of four thousand years should enlarge our hopes and diminish our apprehensions: we cannot determine to what height the human species may aspire in their advance towards perfection; but it may safely be presumed that no people, unless the face of nature is changed, will relapse into their original barbarism.
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

* We may therefore acquiesce in the pleasing conclusion that every age of the world has increased and still increases the real wealth, the happiness, the knowledge, and perhaps the virtue, of the human race.
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

== Volume IV ==
* Their [the Ostrogoths'] poverty was incurable; since the most liberal donatives were soon dissipated in wasteful luxury, and the most fertile estates became barren in their hands; they despised, but they envied, the laborious provincials; and when their subsistence had failed, the Ostrogoths embraced the familiar resources of war and rapine.
** Chapter XXXIX, part I

* But if the royal ear was open to the voice of truth, a saint and a philosopher are not always to be found at the ear of kings.
** Chapter XXXIX, part III

* Boethius might have been styled happy, if that precarious epithet could be safely applied before the last term of the life of man.
** Chapter XXXIX, part III

* In these honourable contests his spirit soared above the consideration of danger, and perhaps of prudence.
** Chapter XXXIX, part III

* A material difference may be observed in the games of antiquity: the most eminent of the Greeks were actors, the Romans were merely spectators. The Olympic stadium was open to wealth, merit, and ambition; and if the candidates could depend on their personal skill and activity, they might pursue the footsteps of Diomede and Menelaus, and conduct their own horses in the rapid career&amp;hellip; But a [Roman] senator, or even a citizen, conscious of his dignity, would have blushed to expose his person or his horses in the circus of Rome. The games were established at the expense of the republic, the magistrates, or the emperors; but the reins were abandoned to servile hands; and if the profits of a favourite charioteer sometimes exceeded those of an advocate, they must be considered as the effects of popular extravagance, and the high wages of a disgraceful profession.
** Chapter XL
** contrasting active Greek and passive Roman sport

* From this capital, this pestilence was diffused into the provinces and cities of the East, and the sportive distinction of two colours produced two strong and irreconcilable factions, which shook the foundations of a feeble government&amp;hellip; Every law, either human or divine, was trampled under foot; and as long as the party was successful, its deluded followers appeared careless of private distress or public calamity.
** Chapter XL
** on the fighting between the Blue and Green factions of chariot race fans

* It is the interest as well as duty of a sovereign to maintain the authority of the laws.
** Chapter XL, part II

* For my own part, I adhere to the maxim of antiquity, that the throne is a glorious sepulchre.
** Theodora
** Chapter XL, part II

* The enthusiast who entered the dome of St. Sophia might be tempted to suppose that it was the residence, or even the workmanship, of the Deity. Yet how dull is the artifice, how insignificant is the labour, if it be compared with the formation of the vilest insect that crawls upon the surface of the temple!
** Chapter XL, part IV

* The Gothic arms were less fatal to the schools of Athens than the establishment of a new religion, whose ministers superseded the exercise of reason, resolved every question by an article of faith, and condemned the infidel or sceptic to eternal flames.
** Chapter XL, part V

* I am not insensible of the benefits of elegant luxury; yet I reflect with some pain, that if [[:w:Silk#Secret|the importers of silk]] had introduced the art of printing, already practised by the Chinese, the comedies of Menander and the entire decads of Livy would have been perpetuated in the editions of the sixth century.
** Chapter XL

* In the evening Belisarius led his infantry to the attack of the camp; and the pusillanimous flight of Gelimer exposed the vanity of his recent declarations, that to the vanquished, death was a relief, life a burden, and infamy the only object of terror.
** Chapter XLI, part II

* So long as Heaven has condemned us to suffer, patience is a virtue; but if we reject the proffered deliverance, it degenerates into blind and stupid despair.
** Pharas
** Chapter XLI, part II

* The vain and transitory scenes of human greatness are unworthy of a serious thought.
** Chapter XLI, part II

* Flattery adheres to power, and envy to superior merit.
** Chapter XLI, part II

* If it were not a melancholy truth, that the first and most cruel sufferings must be the lot of the innocent and helpless, history might exult in the misery of the conquerors, who, in the midst of riches, were left destitute of bread or wine, reduced to drink the waters of the Po, and to feed on the flesh of distempered cattle.
** Chapter XLI, part V

* The spectator and historian of his [Belisarius's] exploits has observed, that amidst the perils of war, he was daring without rashness, prudent without fear, slow or rapid according to the exigencies of the moment; that in the deepest distress he was animated by real or apparent hope, but that he was modest and humble in the most prosperous fortune.
** Chapter XLI, part VI

* The revenge of a guilty woman is implacable and bloody.
** Chapter XLI, part VI

* Our estimate of personal merit, is relative to the common faculties of mankind. The aspiring efforts of genius, or virtue, either in active or speculative life, are measured, not so much by their real elevation, as by the height to which they ascend above the level of their age and country; and the same stature, which in a people of giants would pass unnoticed, must appear conspicuous in a race of pygmies.
** Chapter XLII, part I

* It is impossible to reduce, or, at least, to hold a distant country against the wishes and efforts of its inhabitants.
** Chapter XLII, part III

* If a Christian power had been maintained in Arabia, Mahomet must have been crushed in his cradle, and Abyssinia would have prevented a revolution which has changed the civil and religious state of the world.
** Chapter XLII, part III

* That country [Carthage] was rapidly sinking into the state of barbarism from whence it had been raised by the Phoenician colonies and Roman laws; and every step of intestine discord was marked by some deplorable victory of savage man over civilized society.
** Chapter XLIII, part I

* It was his [Totila's] constant theme, that national vice and ruin are inseparably connected; that victory is the fruit of moral as well as military virtue; and that the prince, and even the people, are responsible for the crimes which they neglect to punish.
** Chapter XLIII, part I

* But the works of man are impotent against the assaults of nature.
** Chapter XLIII, part III

* A Locrian, who proposed any new law, stood forth in the assembly of the people with a cord round his neck, and if the law was rejected, the innovator was instantly strangled.
** Chapter XLIV, part II

* The Romans had aspired to be equal; they were levelled by the equality of servitude.
** Chapter XLIV, part II

* A jurisdiction thus vague and arbitrary was exposed to the most dangerous abuse: the substance, as well as the form, of justice were often sacrificed to the prejudices of virtue, the bias of laudable affection, and the grosser seductions of interest or resentment.
** Chapter XLIV, part II

* The science of the laws is the slow growth of time and experience.
** Chapter XLIV, part IV

* It is the first care of a reformer to prevent any future reformation.
** Chapter XLIV, part IV

* The law of nature instructs most animals to cherish and educate their infant progeny. The law of reason inculcates to the human species the returns of filial piety.
** Chapter XLIV, part IV

* Passion, interest, or caprice, suggested daily motives for the dissolution of marriage; a word, a sign, a message, a letter, the mandate of a freedman, declared the separation; the most tender of human connections was degraded to a transient society of profit or pleasure.
** Chapter XLIV, part IV

* A specious theory is confuted by this free and perfect experiment, which demonstrates, that the liberty of divorce does not contribute to happiness and virtue. The facility of separation would destroy all mutual confidence, and inflame every trifling dispute: the minute difference between a husband and a stranger, which might so easily be removed, might still more easily be forgotten; and the matron, who in five years can submit to the embraces of eight husbands, must cease to reverence the chastity of her own person.
** Chapter XLIV, part IV

* In the most rigorous [Roman] laws, a wife was condemned to support a gamester, a drunkard, or a libertine, unless he were guilty of homicide, poison, or sacrilege, in which cases the marriage, as it should seem, might have been dissolved by the hand of the executioner.
** Chapter XLIV, part IV

* The successor of Justinian yielded to the prayers of his unhappy subjects, and restored the liberty of divorce by mutual consent: the civilians were unanimous, the theologians were divided, and the ambiguous word, which contains the precept of Christ, is flexible to any interpretation that the wisdom of a legislator can demand.
** Chapter XLIV, part IV

* Women were condemned to the perpetual tutelage of parents, husbands, or guardians; a sex created to please and obey was never supposed to have attained the age of reason and experience. Such, at least, was the stern and haughty spirit of the ancient law, which had been insensibly mollified before the time of Justinian.
** Chapter XLIV, part V

* The active, insatiate principle of self-love can alone supply the arts of life and the wages of industry; and as soon as civil government and exclusive property have been introduced, they become necessary to the existence of the human race.
** Chapter XLIV, part V

* A sentence of death and infamy was often founded on the slight and suspicious evidence of a child or a servant: the guilt of the green faction, of the rich, and of the enemies of Theodora, was presumed by the judges, and paederasty became the crime of those to whom no crime could be imputed.
** Chapter XLIV, part VII

* The criminal penalties [for suicide] are the production of a later and darker age.
** Chapter XLIV, part VII, footnote 206

* Yet the civilians have always respected the natural right of a citizen to dispose of his life.
** Chapter XLIV, part VII

* The discretion of the judge is the first engine of tyranny.
** Chapter XLIV, part VII

* But the government of Justinian united the evils of liberty and servitude; and the Romans were oppressed at the same time by the multiplicity of their laws and the arbitrary will of their master.
** Chapter XLIV, part VII

* When a public quarrel is envenomed by private injuries, a blow that is not mortal or decisive can be productive only of a short truce, which allows the unsuccessful combatant to sharpen his arms for a new encounter.
** Chapter XLV, part I

* The more stubborn [[:w:Lombards|Barbarians]] sacrificed a she-goat, or perhaps a captive, to the gods of their fathers... Gregory the Roman supposes that they likewise adored this she-goat. '''I know but of one religion in which the god and the victim are the same.'''
** Chapter XLV, part I, footnote 14

* A society in which marriage is encouraged and industry prevails soon repairs the accidental losses of pestilence and war.
** Chapter XLV, part III

* The events by which the fate of nations is not materially changed, leave a faint impression on the page of history, and the patience of the reader would be exhausted by the repetition of the same hostilities, undertaken without cause, prosecuted without glory, and terminated without effect.
** Chapter XLVI, part I

* A reformer should be exempt from the suspicion of interest, and he must possess the confidence and esteem of those whom he proposes to reclaim.
** Chapter XLVI, part II

* But the pride of the Persian had not yet sunk to the level of his fortune.
** Chapter XLVI, part IV

* According to the faith and mercy of his Christian enemies, he [Chosroes] sunk without hope into a still deeper abyss; and it will not be denied, that tyrants of every age and sect are the best entitled to such infernal abodes.
** Chapter XLVI, part IV

* And the more formidable monks, whose minds were inaccessible to reason or mercy, besieged the doors of the cathedral.
** Chapter XLVII, part III

* He [Justinian] piously labored to establish with fire and sword the unity of the Christian faith.
** Chapter XLVII, part III

* The province which had been ruined by the bigotry of Justinian, was the same through which the Mahometans penetrated into the empire.
** Chapter XLVII, part III, footnote 90

* Language, the leading principle which unites or separates the tribes of mankind, soon discriminated the sectaries of the East, by a peculiar and perpetual badge, which abolished the means of intercourse and the hope of reconciliation.
** Chapter XLVII, part III

* The long dominion of the Greeks, their colonies, and, above all, their eloquence, had propagated a language doubtless the most perfect that has been contrived by the art of man.
** Chapter XLVII, part III

* The desire of gaining souls for God and subjects for the church, has excited in every age the diligence of the Christian priests.
** Chapter XLVII, part IV

* Under the rod of oppression, the zeal of the Armenians is fervent and intrepid; they have often preferred the crown of martyrdom to the white turban of Mahomet.
** Chapter XLVII, part IV

* In every deed of mischief [[:w:Andronicus I Comnenus|he]] had a heart to resolve, a head to contrive, and a hand to execute.
** Chapter XLVIII

* During his government of twenty-five years, the penalty of death was abolished in the Roman empire, a law of mercy most delightful to the humane theorist, but of which the practice, in a large and vicious community, is seldom consistent with the public safety.
** Chapter XLVIII, part IV

* Our sympathy is cold to the relation of distant misery.
** Chapter XLIX

* In the field of controversy I always pity the moderate party, who stand on the open middle ground exposed to the fire of both sides.
** Chapter XLIX, part I, footnote 30

* Ignorant of the arts of luxury, the primitive Romans had improved the science of government and war.
** Chapter XLIX, part II

* But their minds were not yet humbled to their condition; and instead of affecting the pacific virtues of the feeble, they peevishly harassed the Romans with a repetition of claims, evasions, and inroads, which they undertook without reflection, and terminated without glory.
** Chapter XLIX, part II

* There is nothing perhaps more adverse to nature and reason than to hold in obedience remote countries and foreign nations, in opposition to their inclination and interest.
** Chapter XLIX, part VI

* An extensive empire must be supported by a refined system of policy and oppression; in the centre, an absolute power, prompt in action and rich in resources; a swift and easy communication with the extreme parts; fortifications to check the first effort of rebellion; a regular administration to protect and punish; and a well-disciplined army to inspire fear, without provoking discontent and despair.
** Chapter XLIX, part VI

== Volume V ==
* Mahomet, with the sword in one hand and the Koran in the other, erected his throne on the ruins of Christianity and of Rome.
** Chapter L, part I

* In this primitive and abject state, which ill deserves the name of society, the human brute, without arts or laws, almost without sense or language, is poorly distinguished from the rest of the animal creation.
** Chapter L, part I

* Our toil is lessened, and our wealth is increased, by our dominion over the useful animals.
** Chapter L, part I

* The life of a wandering Arab is a life of danger and distress; and though sometimes, by rapine or exchange, he may appropriate the fruits of industry, a private citizen in Europe is in the possession of more solid and pleasing luxury than the proudest emir, who marches in the field at the head of ten thousand horse.
** Chapter L, part I

* The noblest of [Arabs] united the love of arms with the profession of merchandise.
** Chapter L, part I

* [Arabs are] a people, whom it is dangerous to provoke, and fruitless to attack.
** Chapter L, part I

* But their [the Arabs'] friendship was venal, their faith inconstant, their enmity capricious: it was an easier task to excite than to disarm these roving barbarians; and, in the familiar intercourse of war, they learned to see, and to despise, the splendid weakness both of Rome and of Persia.
** Chapter L, part I

* The separation of the Arabs from the rest of mankind has accustomed them to confound the ideas of stranger and enemy
** Chapter L, part II

* The character of Hatem is the perfect model of Arabian virtue: he was brave and liberal, an eloquent poet, and a successful robber.
** Chapter L, part II

* [Beauty is] an outward gift which is seldom despised, except by those to whom it has been refused.
** Chapter L, part III

* The moral attributes of Jehovah may not easily be reconciled with the standard of human virtue.
** Chapter L, part III

* Mahomet has not specified the male companions of the female elect, lest he should either alarm the jealousy of their former husbands, or disturb their felicity, by the suspicion of an everlasting marriage.
** Chapter L, part IV

* They trusted to the intercession of their old allies of Medina; they could not be ignorant that fanaticism obliterates the feelings of humanity.
** Chapter L, part VI

* Ye Christian dogs, you know your option; the Koran, the tribute, or the sword. We are a people whose delight is in war rather than in peace: and we despise your pitiful alms, since we shall be speedily masters of your wealth your families, and your persons.
** Chaled
** Chapter LI, part III

* In a private condition, our desires are perpetually repressed by poverty and subordination; but the lives and labors of millions are devoted to the service of a despotic prince, whose laws are blindly obeyed, and whose wishes are instantly gratified. Our imagination is dazzled by the splendid picture; and whatever may be the cool dictates of reason, there are few among us who would obstinately refuse a trial of the comforts and the cares of royalty. It may therefore be of some use to borrow the experience of the same [[:w:Abd-ar-Rahman III|Abdalrahman]], whose magnificence has perhaps excited our admiration and envy, and to transcribe an authentic memorial which was found in the closet of the deceased caliph. 'I have now reigned above fifty years in victory or peace; beloved by my subjects, dreaded by my enemies, and respected by my allies. Riches and honors, power and pleasure, have waited on my call, nor does any earthly blessing appear to have been wanting to my felicity. In this situation, I have diligently numbered the days of pure and genuine happiness which have fallen to my lot: they amount to Fourteen: - O man! place not thy confidence in this present world!' ... This confession, [[:w:Ecclesiastes#.22Vanity.22|the complaints of Solomon of the vanity of this world]]... and the happy ten days of the emperor Seghed... will be triumphantly quoted by the detractors of human life. Their expectations are commonly immoderate, their estimates are seldom impartial. If I may speak of myself, (the only person of whom I can speak with certainty), my happy hours have far exceeded, and far exceed, the scanty numbers of the caliph of Spain; and I shall not scruple to add, that many of them are due to the pleasing labor of the present composition.
** Chapter LII

* But the nations of the East had been taught to trample on the [[:w:Caliph#The Abbasids of Baghdad|successors of the prophet]]; and the blessings of domestic peace were obtained by the relaxation of strength and discipline. So uniform are the mischiefs of military despotism, that I seem to repeat the [[:w:Praetorian_guard#Political Meddling|story of the praetorians of Rome]].
** Chapter LII

* The sublime science of astronomy ... elevates the mind of man to disdain his diminutive planet and momentary existence.
** Chapter LII, part III

* Their rapacious spirit was approved and animated by the precepts of the Koran.
** Chapter LII, part IV

* In the national and religious conflict of the two empires [Byzantine and Saracen], peace was without confidence, and war without mercy.
** Chapter LII, part IV

* A victorious line of march had been prolonged above a thousand miles from the rock of Gibraltar to the banks of the Loire; the repetition of an equal space would have carried the Saracens to the confines of Poland and the Highlands of Scotland; the Rhine is not more impassable than the Nile or Euphrates, and the Arabian fleet might have sailed without a naval combat into the mouth of the Thames. '''Perhaps the interpretation of the Koran would now be taught in the schools of Oxford, and her pulpits might demonstrate to a circumcised people the sanctity and truth of the revelation of Mahomet.'''&lt;br&gt;From such calamities was Christendom delivered by the genius and fortune of one man. Charles, the illegitimate son of the elder Pepin, was content with the titles of mayor or duke of the Franks; but he deserved to become the father of a line of kings. [...]No sooner had he collected his forces, than he sought and found the enemy in the centre of France, between Tours and Poitiers. His well-conducted march was covered with a range of hills, and Abderame appears to have been surprised by his unexpected presence. The nations of Asia, Africa, and Europe, advanced with equal ardor to an encounter which would change the history of the world. In the six first days of desultory combat, the horsemen and archers of the East maintained their advantage: but in the closer onset of the seventh day, the Orientals were oppressed by the strength and stature of the Germans, who, with stout hearts and iron hands, asserted the civil and religious freedom of their posterity. The epithet of Martel, the Hammer, which has been added to the name of Charles, is expressive of his weighty and irresistible strokes: the valor of Eudes was excited by resentment and emulation; and their companions, in the eye of history, are the true Peers and Paladins of French chivalry. After a bloody field, in which Abderame was slain, the Saracens, in the close of the evening, retired to their camp. In the disorder and despair of the night, the various tribes of Yemen and Damascus, of Africa and Spain, were provoked to turn their arms against each other: the remains of their host were suddenly dissolved, and each emir consulted his safety by a hasty and separate retreat. At the dawn of the day, the stillness of a hostile camp was suspected by the victorious Christians: on the report of their spies, they ventured to explore the riches of the vacant tents; but if we except some celebrated relics, a small portion of the spoil was restored to the innocent and lawful owners. The joyful tidings were soon diffused over the Catholic world, and the monks of Italy could affirm and believe that three hundred and fifty, or three hundred and seventy-five, thousand of the Mahometans had been crushed by the hammer of Charles, while no more than fifteen hundred Christians were slain in the field of Tours. But this incredible tale is sufficiently disproved by the caution of the French general, who apprehended the snares and accidents of a pursuit, and dismissed his German allies to their native forests.&lt;br&gt;The inactivity of a conqueror betrays the loss of strength and blood, and the most cruel execution is inflicted, not in the ranks of battle, but on the backs of a flying enemy. Yet the victory of the Franks was complete and final; Aquitain was recovered by the arms of Eudes; the Arabs never resumed the conquest of Gaul, and they were soon driven beyond the Pyrenees by Charles Martel and his valiant race.
** LII

* Of human life, the most glorious or humble prospects are alike and soon bounded by the sepulchre.
** Chapter LVI, part IV

* From the paths of blood (and such is the history of nations) I cannot refuse to turn aside to gather some flowers of science or virtue.
** Chapter LVII, part I

* He possessed that vehemence of speech, which seldom fails to impart the persuasion of the soul.
** Chapter LVIII, part I

* But a law, however venerable be the sanction, cannot suddenly transform the temper of the times.
** Chapter LVIII, part I

* So familiar, and as it were so natural to man, is the practice of violence, that our indulgence allows the slightest provocation, the most disputable right, as a sufficient ground of national hostility.
** Chapter LVIII, part I

* A latent motive of affection or vanity might influence [[:w:Council of Clermont|the choice]] of [[:w:Pope Urban II|Urban]]: he was himself a native of France, a monk of Clugny, and the first of his countrymen who ascended the throne of St. Peter. The pope had illustrated his family and province; nor is there perhaps a more exquisite gratification than to revisit, in a conspicuous dignity, the humble and laborious scenes of our youth.
** Chapter LVIII, part I

* The soil is fruitful, and intersected with rivers; but it was then covered with morasses and forests, which spread to a boundless extent, whenever man has ceased to exercise his dominion over the earth.
** Chapter LVIII, part II

== Volume VI ==
* '''In the profession of Christianity, the variety of national characters may be clearly distinguished'''. The natives of Syria and Egypt abandoned their lives to lazy and contemplative devotion; Rome again aspired to the dominion of the world; and the wit of the lively and loquacious Greeks was consumed in the disputes of metaphysical theology.
** Chapter LIV

* The sentiment of fear is nearly allied to that of hatred.
** Chapter LIX, part I

* From these [[:w:Morea|Latin princes of the xivth century]], Boccace, Chaucer, and Shakspeare, have borrowed [[:w:A Midsummer Night's Dream|their Theseus duke of Athens]]. An ignorant age transfers its own language and manners to the most distant times.
** Chapter LXII

* In the year 1238, the inhabitants of Gothia (Sweden) and Frise were prevented, by their fear of the Tartars, from sending, as usual, their ships to the herring fishery on the coast of England; and as there was no exportation, forty or fifty of these fish were sold for a shilling... It is whimsical enough, that the orders of a [[:w:Ögedei Khan|Mogul khan]], who reigned on the borders of China, should have lowered the price of herrings in the English market.
** Chapter LXIV

* By the Venetians, the use of [[:w:black powder|gunpowder]] was communicated without reproach to the sultans of Egypt and Persia, their allies against the Ottoman power; the secret was soon propagated to the extremities of Asia; and the advantage of the European was confined to his easy victories over the savages of the new world. '''If we contrast the rapid progress of this mischievous discovery with the slow and laborious advances of reason, science, and the arts of peace, a philosopher, according to his temper, will laugh or weep at the folly of mankind'''.
** Chapter LXV

* But no sooner had [[:w:Timur|he]] introduced himself into the city, under color of a truce, than he perfidiously violated the treaty... and animated his troops to chastise the posterity of those Syrians who had executed, or approved, the murder of the [[:w:Husayn bin Ali|grandson of Mahomet]]. A family which had given honorable burial to the head of Hosein, and a colony of artificers, whom he sent to labor at Samarcand, were alone reserved in the general massacre, and after a period of seven centuries, Damascus was reduced to ashes, because a Tartar was moved by religious zeal to avenge the blood of an Arab.
** Chapter LXV

* Since the reign of [[:w:Aurangzeb|Aurungzebe]], [[:w:Mughal Empire|their empire]] had been dissolved; their treasures of Delhi have been rifled by a [[:w:Nadir Shah|Persian robber]]; and the richest of their kingdoms is now possessed by a [[:w:British East India Company|company of Christian merchants]], of a remote island in the Northern Ocean.
** Chapter LXV

* The winds and waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators.
** Chapter LXVIII

* [[:w:Gennadius Scholarius|His]] defence, at Florence, of the same union, which he so furiously attacked at Constantinople, has tempted Leo Allatius... to divide him into two men; but Renaudot... has restored the identity of his person and the duplicity of his character.
** Chapter LXVIII

* 'When [[:w:Geoffrey of Anjou|he was master of Normandy]], the chapter of Seez presumed, without his consent, to proceed to the election of a bishop' upon which he ordered all of them, with the bishop elect, to be castrated, and made all their testicles be brought him in a platter.' Of the pain and danger they might justly complain; yet since they had vowed chastity he deprived them of a superfluous treasure.
** Chapter LXIX

* Vicissitudes of fortune, which spares neither man nor the proudest of his works, which buries empires and cities in a common grave.
** Chapter LXXI

* In the preceding volumes of this History, I have described the triumph of barbarism and religion.
** Chapter LXXI

* All that is human must retrograde if it does not advance.
** Chapter LXXI

== About ==
* &quot;Another damned fat book, Mr. Gibbon? Scribble, scribble, scribble, eh Mr. Gibbon?&quot;
** variously attributed to King George III or Henry, Duke of Gloucester, upon receiving a volume of Gibbon's book.

* I set out upon...Gibbon's ''Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire'' [and] was immediately dominated both by the story and the style....I devoured Gibbon. I rode triumphantly through it from end to end and enjoyed it all.
** [[Winston Churchill]], ''My Early Life: A Roving Commission'' (New York: Charles Scribner's Sons, 1958) ,also quoted in &quot;Winston Churchill: Sketch for a Portrait&quot; in [[w:George Lichtheim|George Lichtheim]],''Thoughts Among the Ruins: Collected essays on Europe and beyond''. (Transaction Publishers, 1973)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.ccel.org/g/gibbon/decline/home.html ''The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire''] from the Christian Classics Ethereal Library. Formatted into chapters for easy web reading.
* [http://www.gutenberg.org/catalog/world/authrec?fk_authors=375 ''The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire'']{{dead link}} author record at [[w:Project Gutenberg|Project Gutenberg]]. Based on the Rev. H.H. Milman edition of 1845.

{{DEFAULTSORT:History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, The}}
[[Category:Roman Empire]]
[[Category:Histories]]</text>
      <sha1>0wjy8fs5hqrmlt889kbau9elph6cu3f</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944002</id>
      <parentid>3944001</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T18:02:51Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Pmantyla</username>
        <id>37604</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Add quote from Chapter LIX: &quot;The successors of St. Peter ...&quot;</comment>
      <origin>3944002</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="59327" sha1="ixbniqg8ss7r2bc67w9up94w812ej3w" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title|force=true}}
'''''[[w:The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire|The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire]]''''' (Vol. 1, 1776; Vols. II-III, 1781; Vols. IV-VI, 1788) by [[Edward Gibbon]]. One of the most famous historical works written in any language and covering over 1000 years of history, from the end of the [[:w:Antoninus Pius|Antonine]] dynasty to the fall of [[:w:Constantinople|Constantinople]].

== Volume I ==
* [[:w:Trajan|Trajan]] was ambitious of fame; and as long as mankind shall continue to bestow more liberal applause on their destroyers than on their benefactors, the thirst of military glory will ever be the vice of the most exalted characters.
** Chapter I

* The terror of the Roman arms added weight and dignity to the moderation of the emperors. They preserved peace by a constant preparation for war; and while justice regulated their conduct, they announced to the nations on their confines, that they were as little disposed to endure, as to offer an injury.
** Chapter I

* Yet Phoenicia and Palestine will forever live in the memory of mankind; since America, as well as Europe, has received [[:w:alphabet|letters]] from the one, and religion from the other.
** Chapter I

* That public virtue which among the ancients was denominated patriotism, is derived from a strong sense of our own interest in the preservation and prosperity of the free government of which we are members. Such a sentiment, which had rendered the legions of the republic almost invincible, could make but a very feeble impression on the mercenary servants of a despotic prince; and it became necessary to supply that defect by other motives, of a different, but not less forcible nature; honour and religion.
** Chapter I

* The masters of the fairest and most wealthy climates of the globe turned with contempt from gloomy hills, assailed by the winter tempest, from lakes concealed in a blue mist, and from cold and lonely heaths, over which the deer of the forest were chased by a troop of naked barbarians.
** Chapter I

* '''The various modes of worship, which prevailed in the Roman world, were all considered by the people, as equally true; by the philosopher, as equally false; and by the magistrate, as equally useful.'''
** Chapter II

* But the zeal of fanaticism prevailed over the cold and feeble efforts of policy.
** Chapter II

* We may be well assured, that a writer, conversant with the world, would never have ventured to expose the gods of his country to public ridicule, had they not already been the objects of secret contempt among the polished and enlightened orders of society.
** Chapter II

* Under a democratical government, the citizens exercise the powers of sovereignty; and those powers will be first abused, and afterwards lost, if they are committed to an unwieldy multitude. From the foot of the Alps to the extremity of Calabria, all the natives of Italy were born citizens of Rome. Their partial distinctions were obliterated, and they insensibly coalesced into one great nation, united by language, manners, and civil institutions, and equal to the weight of a powerful empire. The republic gloried in her generous policy, and was frequently rewarded by the merit and services of her adopted sons. Had she always confined the distinction of Romans to the ancient families within the walls of the city, that immortal name would have been deprived of some of its noblest ornaments.
** Chapter II

* Opinions of the Academics and [[:w:Epicureanism|Epicureans]] were of a less religious cast; but whilst the modest science of the former induced them to doubt, the positive ignorance of the latter urged them to deny, the providence of a Supreme Ruler.
** Chapter II

* In Etruria, in Greece, and in Gaul, it was the first care of the senate to dissolve those dangerous confederacies, which taught mankind that, as the Roman arms prevailed by division, they might be resisted by union. Those princes, whom the ostentation of gratitude or generosity permitted for a while to hold a precarious sceptre, were dismissed from their thrones, as soon as they had performed their appointed task of fashioning to the yoke the vanquished nations.
** Chapter II

* The situation of the Greeks was very different from that of the barbarians. The former had been long since civilized and corrupted. They had too much taste to relinquish their language, and too much vanity to adopt any foreign institutions. Still preserving the prejudices, after they had lost the virtues, of their ancestors, they affected to despise the unpolished manners of the Roman conquerors, whilst they were compelled to respect their superior wisdom and power.
** Chapter II

* Without destroying the distinction of ranks, a distant prospect of freedom and honors was presented, even to those whom pride and prejudice almost disdained to number among the human species.
** Chapter II

* The influence of the clergy, in an age of superstition, might be usefully employed to assert the rights of mankind; but so intimate is the connection between the throne and the altar, that the banner of the church has very seldom been seen on the side of the people.
** Chapter III

* The two Antonines (for it is of them that we are now speaking) governed the Roman world forty-two years, with the same invariable spirit of wisdom and virtue. ... Their united reigns are possibly the only period of history in which the happiness of a great people was the sole object of government.

* [[:w:Antoninus Pius|Antoninus]] diffused order and tranquillity over the greatest part of the earth.  His reign is marked by the rare advantage of furnishing very few materials for history; which is, indeed, little more than the register of the crimes, follies, and misfortunes of mankind.
** Chapter III This has often been truncated to : '''History...is indeed little more than the register of the crimes, follies, and misfortunes of mankind.'''

* The principles of a free constitution are irrevocably lost, when the legislative power is nominated by the executive.
** Chapter III

* But the power of instruction is seldom of much efficacy, except in those happy dispositions where it is almost superfluous.
** Chapter IV, part I
** In describing how [[w:Marcus Aurelius|Marcus Aurelius]] summoned men of virtue and learning to attempt to broaden the mind of his son [[w:Commodus|Commodus]].

* The most worthless of mankind are not afraid to condemn in others the same disorders which they allow in themselves; and can readily discover some nice difference of age, character, or station, to justify the partial distinction.
** Chapter VI

* In every age and country, the wiser, or at least the stronger, of the two sexes, has usurped the powers of the state, and confined the other to the cares and pleasures of domestic life.
** Chapter VI

* Metellus Numidicus, the censor, acknowledged to the Roman people in a public oration that had kind Nature allowed us to exist without the help of women, we should be delivered from a very troublesome companion; and he could recommend matrimony, only as the sacrifice of private pleasure to public duty.
** Chapter VI, part III, footnote 64

* Augustus was sensible that mankind is governed by names; nor was he deceived in his expectation, that the senate and people would submit to slavery, provided they were respectfully assured that they still enjoyed their ancient freedom.
** Chapter VII

* Twenty-two acknowledged concubines, and a library of sixty-two thousand volumes, attested the variety of [[:w:Gordian II|his]] inclinations; and from the productions which he left behind him, it appears that the former as well as the latter were designed for use rather than for ostentation.
** Chapter VII

* Although the progress of civilisation has undoubtedly contributed to assuage the fiercer passions of human nature, it seems to have been less favourable to the virtue of chastity, whose most dangerous enemy is the softness of the mind. The refinements of life corrupt while they polish the intercourse of the sexes.
** Chapter IX, part III

* Rational confidence ... is the just result of knowledge and experience.
** Chapter X, part III

* The voice of history .. is often little more than the organ of hatred or flattery.
** Chapter X, part IV

* &quot;You have lost,&quot; said Saturninus on the day of his elevation, &quot;a useful commander, and you have made a very wretched emperor.&quot;
** Chapter X, part IV

* Fear has been the original parent of superstition and every new calamity urges trembling mortals to deprecate the wrath of their invisible enemies.
** Chapter XI, part II

* Such was the unhappy condition of the Roman emperors, that, whatever might be their conduct, their fate was commonly the same. A life of pleasure or virtue, of severity or mildness, of indolence or glory, alike led to an untimely grave; and almost every reign is closed by the same disgusting repetition of treason and murder.
** Chapter XII, part I

* &quot;Alas!&quot; he [Saturninus] said, &quot;the republic has lost a useful servant, and the rashness of an hour has destroyed the services of many years. You know not,&quot; continued he, &quot;the misery of sovereign power: a sword is perpetually suspended over our head. We dread our very guards, we distrust our companions. The choice of action or of repose is no longer in our disposition, nor is there any age, or character, or conduct, that can protect us from the censure of envy. In thus exalting me to the throne, you have doomed me to a life of cares, and to an untimely fate.
** Chapter XII, part II

* But whenever the offence inspires less horror than the punishment, the rigour of penal law is obliged to give way to the common feelings of mankind.
** Chapter XIV, part IV

* It was no longer esteemed infamous for a Roman to survive his honour and independence.
** Chapter XIV, part IV

* The desire of perfection became the ruling passion of their soul; and it is well known that, while reason embraces a cold mediocrity, our passions hurry us with rapid violence over the space which lies between the most opposite extremes.
** Chapter XV, part V

* But the human character, however it may be exalted or depressed by a temporary enthusiasm, will return by degrees to its proper and natural level, and will resume those passions that seem the most adapted to its present condition.
** Chapter XV, part VI

* &quot;Unhappy men!&quot; exclaimed the proconsul Antoninus to the Christians of Asia, &quot;If you are thus weary of your lives, is it so difficult for you to find ropes and precipices?&quot;
** Chapter XVI, part IV
** Zealous Christians apparently provoked the authorities in order to become martyrs

== Volume II ==

* '''In the various states of society, armies are recruited from very different motives. Barbarians are urged by the love of war; the citizens of a free republic may be prompted by a principle of duty; the subjects, or at least the nobles, of a monarchy, are animated by a sentiment of honor; but the timid and luxurious inhabitants of a declining empire must be allured into the service by the hopes of profit, or compelled by the dread of punishment.'''
** Chapter XVII

* The progress of despotism ... tends to disappoint its own purpose.
** Chapter XVII, part IV

* The general peace which [Constantine] maintained during the last fourteen years of his reign, was a period of apparent splendour rather than of real prosperity; and the old age of Constantine was disgraced by the opposite yet reconcilable vices of rapaciousness and prodigality.
** Chapter XVIII

* But the operation of the wisest laws is imperfect and precarious. They seldom inspire virtue, they cannot always restrain vice.
** Chapter XX, part I

* Corruption, the most infallible symptom of constitutional liberty.
** Chapter XXI

* Whenever the spirit of fanaticism, at once so credulous and so crafty, has insinuated itself into a noble mind, it insensibly corrodes the vital principles of virtue and veracity.
** Chapter XXII, part I

* It is the common calamity of old age to lose whatever might have rendered it desirable.
** Chapter XXIV, part I

* I die without remorse, as I have lived without guilt.
** Julian the Apostate
** Chapter XXIV, part IV

* Flattery is a foolish suicide; she destroys herself with her own hands.
** Chapter XXV, part I, footnote 1

* the inquisition into the crime of magic, which, under the reign of the two brothers, was so rigorously prosecuted both at Rome and Antioch, was interpreted as the fatal symptom, either of the displeasure of Heaven, or the depravity of mankind. Let us not hesitate to indulge a liberal pride, that, in the present age, the enlightened part of Europe has abolished a cruel and odious prejudice, which reigned in every climate of the globe, and adhered to every system of religious opinion. The nations, the sects, of the roman world, admitted with equal credulity, and similar abhorrence, the reality of that infernal art, which was able to control the eternal order of the planets, and the voluntary operations of the human mind. They dreaded the mysterious power of spells and incantations, of potent herbs, and execrable rites; which could extinguish or recall life, inflame the passions of the soul, blast the works of creation, and extort from the reluctant demons the secrets of futurity. They believed, with the wildest inconsistency, that this preternatural dominion of the air, of earth, and of hell, was exercised, from the vilest motives of malice or gain, by some wrinkled hags and itinerate sorcerers, who passed their lives in penury and contempt. The arts of magic were equally condemned by the public opinion, and by the laws of Rome; but as they tended to gratify the most imperious passions of the heart of man, they were continually proscribed, and continually practiced.
** Chapter XXV

* But the wisdom and authority of the legislator are seldom victorious in a contest with the vigilant dexterity of private interest.
** Chapter XXV, part III

* A philosopher may deplore the eternal discord of the human race, but he will confess that the desire of spoil is a more rational provocation than the vanity of conquest.
** Chapter XXV, part V

* He was released from the miseries of life.
** Chapter XXV, part VI

* Ammianus is so eloquent that he writes nonsense.
** Chapter XXV, part VII, footnote 154

* The progress of manufactures and commerce insensibly collects a large multitude within the walls of a city; but these citizens are no longer soldiers, and the arts which adorn and improve the state of civil society corrupt the habits of the military life.
** Chapter XXVI, part I

* Man has much more to fear from the passions of his fellow-creatures than from the convulsions of the elements.
** Chapter XXVI, part I

* Resistance was fatal; flight was impracticable; and the patient submission of helpless innocence seldom found mercy from the barbarian conqueror.
** Chapter XXVI, part III

* Feeble and timid minds ... consider the use of the dilatory and ambiguous measures as the most admirable efforts of consummate prudence.
** Chapter XXVI, part III

* I reverence the field of battle, stained with their blood and the blood of the barbarians. Those honourable marks have been already washed away by the rains; but the lofty monuments of their bones, the bones of generals, of centurions, and of valiant warriors, claim a longer period of duration.
** Libanius
** Chapter XXVI, part IV

* The urgent consideration of the public safety may undoubtedly authorise the violation of every positive law. How far that or any other consideration may operate to dissolve the natural obligations of humanity and justice, is a doctrine of which I still desire to remain ignorant.
** Chapter XXVI, part V

== Volume III ==

* His profound veneration for the Christian clergy was rewarded by the applause and gratitude of a powerful order, which has claimed in every age the privilege of dispensing honours, both on earth and in heaven.
** Chapter XXVII, part I

* Yet every physician is prone to exaggerate the inveterate nature of the disease which he has cured.
** Chapter XXVII, part II, footnote 26.
** In this case remarking on the works of [[w:Gregory Nazianzen|Gregory Nazianzen]].

* If the exercise of justice is the most important duty, the indulgence of mercy is the most exquisite pleasure of a sovereign.
** Theodosius
** Chapter XXVII, part IV

* The son of Theodosius passed the slumber of his life, a captive in his palace, a stranger in his country, and the patient, almost the indifferent, spectator of the ruin of the Western empire, which was repeatedly attacked, and finally subverted, by the arms of the Barbarians. In the eventful history of a reign of twenty-eight years, it will seldom be necessary to mention the name of the emperor [[:w:Flavius Augustus Honorius|Honorius]].
** Chapter XXIX

* In populous cities, which are the seat of commerce and manufactures, the middle ranks of inhabitants, who derive their subsistence from the dexterity or labour of their hands, are commonly the most prolific, the most useful, and; in that sense, the most respectable part of the community.
** Chapter XXXI, part II

* '''There exists in human nature a strong propensity to depreciate the advantages, and to magnify the evils, of the present time'''s.
** Chapter XXXI, part IV
** In this case recent injuries to Rome from the Goths compared to those from the Gauls in former times.
** Similar &quot;Notwithstanding the propensity of mankind to exalt the past, and to depreciate the present,&quot; in volume I, chapter II, part IV.

* The groans of the dying excited only the envy of their surviving friends.
** Mariana de Rebus Hispanicis
** Chapter XXXI, part VI

* The inconstant, rebellious disposition of the people [of Armorica], was incompatible either with freedom or servitude.
** Chapter XXXI, part VI

* But the desire of obtaining the advantages, and of escaping the burthens, of political society, is a perpetual and inexhaustible source of discord.
** Chapter XXXI, part VI

* A military force was collected in Europe, formidable by their arms and numbers, if the generals had understood the science of command, and their soldiers the duty of obedience.
** Chapter XXXIV, part I

* In the hands of a popular preacher, an earthquake is an engine of admirable effect.
** Chapter XXXIV, part I, footnote 22 (it's footnote 21 in other editions)

* For what fortress, what city, in the wide extent of the Roman empire, can hope to exist, secure and impregnable, if it is our pleasure that it should be erased from the earth?
** Attila the Hun
** Chapter XXXIV, part II

* It was the opinion of Marcian, that war should be avoided as long as it is possible to preserve a secure and honourable peace; but it was likewise his opinion that peace cannot be honourable or secure, if the sovereign betrays a pusillanimous aversion to war.
** Chapter XXXV, part I

* The conflict was obstinate; the slaughter was mutual.
** Chapter XXXV, part I

* Whole generations may be swept away by the madness of kings in the space of a single hour.
** Chapter XXXV, part II

* I am ignorant, sir, of your motives or provocations; I only know that you have acted like a man who cuts off his right hand with his left.
** Unnamed Roman
** Chapter XXXV, part III

* But the emperor of the West, the feeble and dissolute Valentinian, who had reached his thirty-fifth year without attaining the age of reason or courage, abused this apparent security to undermine the foundations of his own throne by the murder of the patrician Aetius.
** Chapter XXXV, part III

* The Roman government appeared every day less formidable to its enemies, more odious and oppressive to its subjects.
** Chapter XXXV, part III

* But the day of his inauguration was the last day of his happiness.
** Chapter XXXVI, part I

* The successor of Avitus [Majorian] presents the welcome discovery of a great and heroic character, such as sometimes arise, in a degenerate age, to vindicate the honour of the human species.
** Chapter XXXVI, part II

* History has scarcely deigned to notice his [Libius Severus's] birth, his elevation, his character, or his death.
** Chapter XXXVI, part III

* The emperor was probably born in the province of Galatia, whose inhabitants, the Gallo-Grecians, were supposed to unite the vices of a savage and a corrupted people.
** Chapter XXXVI, part IV, footnote 103

* The revolution of ages may bring round the same calamities; but ages may revolve without producing a Tacitus to describe them.
** Chapter XXXVI, part IV, footnote 110

* He [Ennodius] adds weight to the narrative of Procopius, though we may doubt whether the devil actually contrived the siege of Pavia to distress the bishop and his flock.
** Chapter XXXVI, part V, footnote 119

* The Romans derided his [Marius's] indolence; they soon bewailed his activity.
** Chapter XXXVI, part V, footnote 130

* Severinus died in Noricum, A.D. 482. Six years afterwards his body, which scattered miracles as it passed, was transported by his disciples into Italy.
** Chapter XXXVI, part V, footnote 132

* They [the Ascetics] seriously renounced the business, and the pleasures, of the age; abjured the use of wine, of flesh, and of marriage; chastised their body, mortified their affections, and embraced a life of misery, as the price of eternal happiness.
** Chapter XXXVII, part I

* The stories of Paul, Hilarion, and Malchus, by the same author [St. Jerom], are admirably told; and the only defect of these pleasing compositions is the want of truth and common sense.
** Chapter XXXVII, part I, footnote 17

* The peace of the Eastern church was invaded by a swarm of fanatics [monks], incapable of fear, or reason, or humanity; and the Imperial troops acknowledged, without shame, that they were much less apprehensive of an encounter with the fiercest barbarians.
** Chapter XXXVII, part I

* Pleasure and guilt are synonymous terms in the language of the monks, and they had discovered, by experience, that rigid fasts and abstemious diet are the most effectual preservatives against the impure desires of the flesh.
** Chapter XXXVII, part II

* The monastic studies have tended, for the most part to darken, rather than to dispel, the cloud of superstition.
** Chapter XXXVII, part II

* I have somewhere heard or read the frank confession of a Benedictine abbot: &quot;My vow of poverty has given me an hundred thousand crowns a year; my vow of obedience has raised me to the rank of a sovereign prince.&quot; I forget the consequences of his vow of chastity.
** Chapter XXXVII, part II, footnote 57

* Recluse fanatics have few ideas or sentiments to communicate.
** Chapter XXXVII, part II

* Industry must be faint and languid which is not excited by the sense of personal interest.
** Chapter XXXVII, part II

* Their [the monks'] credulity debased and vitiated the faculties of the mind: they corrupted the evidence of history; and superstition gradually extinguished the hostile light of philosophy and science.
** Chapter XXXVII, part II

* All the manly virtues were oppressed by the servile and pusillanimous reign of the monks.
** Chapter XXXVII, part II

* The ferocious Germans [have] so often attempted, and who will always desire, to exchange the solitude of their woods and morasses for the wealth and fertility of Gaul.
** Tacitus
** Chapter XXXVIII, part I

* The fortune of nations has often depended on accidents.
** Chapter XXXVIII, part I

* They [the Gauls] derided the hairy and gigantic savages of the North; their rustic manners, dissonant joy, voracious appetite, and their horrid appearance, equally disgusting to the sight and to the smell.
** Chapter XXXVIII, part I

* The Gauls were endowed with all the advantages of art and nature, but, as they wanted courage to defend them, they were justly condemned to obey, and even to flatter, the victorious barbarians by whose clemency they held their precarious fortunes and their lives.
** Chapter XXXVIII, part I

* If you truly profess the Christian religion, why do you not restrain the king of the Franks? He has declared war against me, and forms alliances with my enemies for my destruction. A sanguinary and covetous mind is not the symptom of a sincere conversion: let him show his faith by his works.
** Gundobald, King of the Bugundians
** Chapter XXXVIII, part I

* Perhaps it would not be easy, within the same historical space, to find more vice and less virtue. We are continually shocked by the union of savage [Barbarian] and corrupt [Roman] manners.
** Chapter XXXVIII, part II, footnote 61

* A bloody and complete victory has sometimes yielded no more than the possession of the field; and the loss of ten thousand men has sometimes been sufficient to destroy, in a single day, the work of ages.
** Chapter XXXVIII, part II

* The love of freedom, so often invigorated and disgraced by private ambition, was reduced among the licentious Franks to the contempt of order and the desire of impunity.
** Chapter XXXVIII, part IV

* Every age, however destitute of science or virtue, sufficiently abounds with acts of blood and military renown.
** Chapter XXXVIII, part V

* By the revolution of Britain the limits of science as well as of empire were contracted. The dark cloud which had been cleared by the Phoenician discoveries, and finally dispelled by the arms of Caesar, again settled on the shores of the Atlantic, and a Roman province was again lost among the fabulous islands of the Ocean.
** Chapter XXXVIII, part V

* But the decline of Rome was the natural and inevitable effect of immoderate greatness. Prosperity ripened the principle of decay; the causes of destruction multiplied with the extent of conquest; and as soon as time or accident had removed the artificial supports, the stupendous fabric yielded to the pressure of its own weight.
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

* Instead of inquiring why the Roman empire was destroyed, we should rather be surprised that it had subsisted so long. 
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

* Extreme distress, which unites the virtue of a free people, embitters the factions of a declining monarchy.
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

* The clergy successfully preached the doctrines of patience and pusillanimity; the active virtues of society were discouraged; and the last remains of military spirit were buried in the cloister: a large portion of public and private wealth was consecrated to the specious demands of charity and devotion; and the soldiers' pay was lavished on the useless multitudes of both sexes who could only plead the merits of abstinence and chastity.
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

* The savage nations of the globe are the common enemies of civilised society; and we may inquire, with anxious curiosity, whether Europe is still threatened with a repetition of those calamities which formerly oppressed the arms and institutions of Rome.
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

* Yet this apparent security should not tempt us to forget that new enemies and unknown dangers may possibly arise from some obscure people, scarcely visible in the map of the world. The Arabs or Saracens, who spread their conquests from India to Spain, had languished in poverty and contempt till Mahomet breathed into those savage bodies the soul of enthusiasm.
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

* Europe is secure from any future irruption of barbarians; since, before they can conquer, they must cease to be barbarous.
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

* Yet the experience of four thousand years should enlarge our hopes and diminish our apprehensions: we cannot determine to what height the human species may aspire in their advance towards perfection; but it may safely be presumed that no people, unless the face of nature is changed, will relapse into their original barbarism.
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

* We may therefore acquiesce in the pleasing conclusion that every age of the world has increased and still increases the real wealth, the happiness, the knowledge, and perhaps the virtue, of the human race.
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

== Volume IV ==
* Their [the Ostrogoths'] poverty was incurable; since the most liberal donatives were soon dissipated in wasteful luxury, and the most fertile estates became barren in their hands; they despised, but they envied, the laborious provincials; and when their subsistence had failed, the Ostrogoths embraced the familiar resources of war and rapine.
** Chapter XXXIX, part I

* But if the royal ear was open to the voice of truth, a saint and a philosopher are not always to be found at the ear of kings.
** Chapter XXXIX, part III

* Boethius might have been styled happy, if that precarious epithet could be safely applied before the last term of the life of man.
** Chapter XXXIX, part III

* In these honourable contests his spirit soared above the consideration of danger, and perhaps of prudence.
** Chapter XXXIX, part III

* A material difference may be observed in the games of antiquity: the most eminent of the Greeks were actors, the Romans were merely spectators. The Olympic stadium was open to wealth, merit, and ambition; and if the candidates could depend on their personal skill and activity, they might pursue the footsteps of Diomede and Menelaus, and conduct their own horses in the rapid career&amp;hellip; But a [Roman] senator, or even a citizen, conscious of his dignity, would have blushed to expose his person or his horses in the circus of Rome. The games were established at the expense of the republic, the magistrates, or the emperors; but the reins were abandoned to servile hands; and if the profits of a favourite charioteer sometimes exceeded those of an advocate, they must be considered as the effects of popular extravagance, and the high wages of a disgraceful profession.
** Chapter XL
** contrasting active Greek and passive Roman sport

* From this capital, this pestilence was diffused into the provinces and cities of the East, and the sportive distinction of two colours produced two strong and irreconcilable factions, which shook the foundations of a feeble government&amp;hellip; Every law, either human or divine, was trampled under foot; and as long as the party was successful, its deluded followers appeared careless of private distress or public calamity.
** Chapter XL
** on the fighting between the Blue and Green factions of chariot race fans

* It is the interest as well as duty of a sovereign to maintain the authority of the laws.
** Chapter XL, part II

* For my own part, I adhere to the maxim of antiquity, that the throne is a glorious sepulchre.
** Theodora
** Chapter XL, part II

* The enthusiast who entered the dome of St. Sophia might be tempted to suppose that it was the residence, or even the workmanship, of the Deity. Yet how dull is the artifice, how insignificant is the labour, if it be compared with the formation of the vilest insect that crawls upon the surface of the temple!
** Chapter XL, part IV

* The Gothic arms were less fatal to the schools of Athens than the establishment of a new religion, whose ministers superseded the exercise of reason, resolved every question by an article of faith, and condemned the infidel or sceptic to eternal flames.
** Chapter XL, part V

* I am not insensible of the benefits of elegant luxury; yet I reflect with some pain, that if [[:w:Silk#Secret|the importers of silk]] had introduced the art of printing, already practised by the Chinese, the comedies of Menander and the entire decads of Livy would have been perpetuated in the editions of the sixth century.
** Chapter XL

* In the evening Belisarius led his infantry to the attack of the camp; and the pusillanimous flight of Gelimer exposed the vanity of his recent declarations, that to the vanquished, death was a relief, life a burden, and infamy the only object of terror.
** Chapter XLI, part II

* So long as Heaven has condemned us to suffer, patience is a virtue; but if we reject the proffered deliverance, it degenerates into blind and stupid despair.
** Pharas
** Chapter XLI, part II

* The vain and transitory scenes of human greatness are unworthy of a serious thought.
** Chapter XLI, part II

* Flattery adheres to power, and envy to superior merit.
** Chapter XLI, part II

* If it were not a melancholy truth, that the first and most cruel sufferings must be the lot of the innocent and helpless, history might exult in the misery of the conquerors, who, in the midst of riches, were left destitute of bread or wine, reduced to drink the waters of the Po, and to feed on the flesh of distempered cattle.
** Chapter XLI, part V

* The spectator and historian of his [Belisarius's] exploits has observed, that amidst the perils of war, he was daring without rashness, prudent without fear, slow or rapid according to the exigencies of the moment; that in the deepest distress he was animated by real or apparent hope, but that he was modest and humble in the most prosperous fortune.
** Chapter XLI, part VI

* The revenge of a guilty woman is implacable and bloody.
** Chapter XLI, part VI

* Our estimate of personal merit, is relative to the common faculties of mankind. The aspiring efforts of genius, or virtue, either in active or speculative life, are measured, not so much by their real elevation, as by the height to which they ascend above the level of their age and country; and the same stature, which in a people of giants would pass unnoticed, must appear conspicuous in a race of pygmies.
** Chapter XLII, part I

* It is impossible to reduce, or, at least, to hold a distant country against the wishes and efforts of its inhabitants.
** Chapter XLII, part III

* If a Christian power had been maintained in Arabia, Mahomet must have been crushed in his cradle, and Abyssinia would have prevented a revolution which has changed the civil and religious state of the world.
** Chapter XLII, part III

* That country [Carthage] was rapidly sinking into the state of barbarism from whence it had been raised by the Phoenician colonies and Roman laws; and every step of intestine discord was marked by some deplorable victory of savage man over civilized society.
** Chapter XLIII, part I

* It was his [Totila's] constant theme, that national vice and ruin are inseparably connected; that victory is the fruit of moral as well as military virtue; and that the prince, and even the people, are responsible for the crimes which they neglect to punish.
** Chapter XLIII, part I

* But the works of man are impotent against the assaults of nature.
** Chapter XLIII, part III

* A Locrian, who proposed any new law, stood forth in the assembly of the people with a cord round his neck, and if the law was rejected, the innovator was instantly strangled.
** Chapter XLIV, part II

* The Romans had aspired to be equal; they were levelled by the equality of servitude.
** Chapter XLIV, part II

* A jurisdiction thus vague and arbitrary was exposed to the most dangerous abuse: the substance, as well as the form, of justice were often sacrificed to the prejudices of virtue, the bias of laudable affection, and the grosser seductions of interest or resentment.
** Chapter XLIV, part II

* The science of the laws is the slow growth of time and experience.
** Chapter XLIV, part IV

* It is the first care of a reformer to prevent any future reformation.
** Chapter XLIV, part IV

* The law of nature instructs most animals to cherish and educate their infant progeny. The law of reason inculcates to the human species the returns of filial piety.
** Chapter XLIV, part IV

* Passion, interest, or caprice, suggested daily motives for the dissolution of marriage; a word, a sign, a message, a letter, the mandate of a freedman, declared the separation; the most tender of human connections was degraded to a transient society of profit or pleasure.
** Chapter XLIV, part IV

* A specious theory is confuted by this free and perfect experiment, which demonstrates, that the liberty of divorce does not contribute to happiness and virtue. The facility of separation would destroy all mutual confidence, and inflame every trifling dispute: the minute difference between a husband and a stranger, which might so easily be removed, might still more easily be forgotten; and the matron, who in five years can submit to the embraces of eight husbands, must cease to reverence the chastity of her own person.
** Chapter XLIV, part IV

* In the most rigorous [Roman] laws, a wife was condemned to support a gamester, a drunkard, or a libertine, unless he were guilty of homicide, poison, or sacrilege, in which cases the marriage, as it should seem, might have been dissolved by the hand of the executioner.
** Chapter XLIV, part IV

* The successor of Justinian yielded to the prayers of his unhappy subjects, and restored the liberty of divorce by mutual consent: the civilians were unanimous, the theologians were divided, and the ambiguous word, which contains the precept of Christ, is flexible to any interpretation that the wisdom of a legislator can demand.
** Chapter XLIV, part IV

* Women were condemned to the perpetual tutelage of parents, husbands, or guardians; a sex created to please and obey was never supposed to have attained the age of reason and experience. Such, at least, was the stern and haughty spirit of the ancient law, which had been insensibly mollified before the time of Justinian.
** Chapter XLIV, part V

* The active, insatiate principle of self-love can alone supply the arts of life and the wages of industry; and as soon as civil government and exclusive property have been introduced, they become necessary to the existence of the human race.
** Chapter XLIV, part V

* A sentence of death and infamy was often founded on the slight and suspicious evidence of a child or a servant: the guilt of the green faction, of the rich, and of the enemies of Theodora, was presumed by the judges, and paederasty became the crime of those to whom no crime could be imputed.
** Chapter XLIV, part VII

* The criminal penalties [for suicide] are the production of a later and darker age.
** Chapter XLIV, part VII, footnote 206

* Yet the civilians have always respected the natural right of a citizen to dispose of his life.
** Chapter XLIV, part VII

* The discretion of the judge is the first engine of tyranny.
** Chapter XLIV, part VII

* But the government of Justinian united the evils of liberty and servitude; and the Romans were oppressed at the same time by the multiplicity of their laws and the arbitrary will of their master.
** Chapter XLIV, part VII

* When a public quarrel is envenomed by private injuries, a blow that is not mortal or decisive can be productive only of a short truce, which allows the unsuccessful combatant to sharpen his arms for a new encounter.
** Chapter XLV, part I

* The more stubborn [[:w:Lombards|Barbarians]] sacrificed a she-goat, or perhaps a captive, to the gods of their fathers... Gregory the Roman supposes that they likewise adored this she-goat. '''I know but of one religion in which the god and the victim are the same.'''
** Chapter XLV, part I, footnote 14

* A society in which marriage is encouraged and industry prevails soon repairs the accidental losses of pestilence and war.
** Chapter XLV, part III

* The events by which the fate of nations is not materially changed, leave a faint impression on the page of history, and the patience of the reader would be exhausted by the repetition of the same hostilities, undertaken without cause, prosecuted without glory, and terminated without effect.
** Chapter XLVI, part I

* A reformer should be exempt from the suspicion of interest, and he must possess the confidence and esteem of those whom he proposes to reclaim.
** Chapter XLVI, part II

* But the pride of the Persian had not yet sunk to the level of his fortune.
** Chapter XLVI, part IV

* According to the faith and mercy of his Christian enemies, he [Chosroes] sunk without hope into a still deeper abyss; and it will not be denied, that tyrants of every age and sect are the best entitled to such infernal abodes.
** Chapter XLVI, part IV

* And the more formidable monks, whose minds were inaccessible to reason or mercy, besieged the doors of the cathedral.
** Chapter XLVII, part III

* He [Justinian] piously labored to establish with fire and sword the unity of the Christian faith.
** Chapter XLVII, part III

* The province which had been ruined by the bigotry of Justinian, was the same through which the Mahometans penetrated into the empire.
** Chapter XLVII, part III, footnote 90

* Language, the leading principle which unites or separates the tribes of mankind, soon discriminated the sectaries of the East, by a peculiar and perpetual badge, which abolished the means of intercourse and the hope of reconciliation.
** Chapter XLVII, part III

* The long dominion of the Greeks, their colonies, and, above all, their eloquence, had propagated a language doubtless the most perfect that has been contrived by the art of man.
** Chapter XLVII, part III

* The desire of gaining souls for God and subjects for the church, has excited in every age the diligence of the Christian priests.
** Chapter XLVII, part IV

* Under the rod of oppression, the zeal of the Armenians is fervent and intrepid; they have often preferred the crown of martyrdom to the white turban of Mahomet.
** Chapter XLVII, part IV

* In every deed of mischief [[:w:Andronicus I Comnenus|he]] had a heart to resolve, a head to contrive, and a hand to execute.
** Chapter XLVIII

* During his government of twenty-five years, the penalty of death was abolished in the Roman empire, a law of mercy most delightful to the humane theorist, but of which the practice, in a large and vicious community, is seldom consistent with the public safety.
** Chapter XLVIII, part IV

* Our sympathy is cold to the relation of distant misery.
** Chapter XLIX

* In the field of controversy I always pity the moderate party, who stand on the open middle ground exposed to the fire of both sides.
** Chapter XLIX, part I, footnote 30

* Ignorant of the arts of luxury, the primitive Romans had improved the science of government and war.
** Chapter XLIX, part II

* But their minds were not yet humbled to their condition; and instead of affecting the pacific virtues of the feeble, they peevishly harassed the Romans with a repetition of claims, evasions, and inroads, which they undertook without reflection, and terminated without glory.
** Chapter XLIX, part II

* There is nothing perhaps more adverse to nature and reason than to hold in obedience remote countries and foreign nations, in opposition to their inclination and interest.
** Chapter XLIX, part VI

* An extensive empire must be supported by a refined system of policy and oppression; in the centre, an absolute power, prompt in action and rich in resources; a swift and easy communication with the extreme parts; fortifications to check the first effort of rebellion; a regular administration to protect and punish; and a well-disciplined army to inspire fear, without provoking discontent and despair.
** Chapter XLIX, part VI

== Volume V ==
* Mahomet, with the sword in one hand and the Koran in the other, erected his throne on the ruins of Christianity and of Rome.
** Chapter L, part I

* In this primitive and abject state, which ill deserves the name of society, the human brute, without arts or laws, almost without sense or language, is poorly distinguished from the rest of the animal creation.
** Chapter L, part I

* Our toil is lessened, and our wealth is increased, by our dominion over the useful animals.
** Chapter L, part I

* The life of a wandering Arab is a life of danger and distress; and though sometimes, by rapine or exchange, he may appropriate the fruits of industry, a private citizen in Europe is in the possession of more solid and pleasing luxury than the proudest emir, who marches in the field at the head of ten thousand horse.
** Chapter L, part I

* The noblest of [Arabs] united the love of arms with the profession of merchandise.
** Chapter L, part I

* [Arabs are] a people, whom it is dangerous to provoke, and fruitless to attack.
** Chapter L, part I

* But their [the Arabs'] friendship was venal, their faith inconstant, their enmity capricious: it was an easier task to excite than to disarm these roving barbarians; and, in the familiar intercourse of war, they learned to see, and to despise, the splendid weakness both of Rome and of Persia.
** Chapter L, part I

* The separation of the Arabs from the rest of mankind has accustomed them to confound the ideas of stranger and enemy
** Chapter L, part II

* The character of Hatem is the perfect model of Arabian virtue: he was brave and liberal, an eloquent poet, and a successful robber.
** Chapter L, part II

* [Beauty is] an outward gift which is seldom despised, except by those to whom it has been refused.
** Chapter L, part III

* The moral attributes of Jehovah may not easily be reconciled with the standard of human virtue.
** Chapter L, part III

* Mahomet has not specified the male companions of the female elect, lest he should either alarm the jealousy of their former husbands, or disturb their felicity, by the suspicion of an everlasting marriage.
** Chapter L, part IV

* They trusted to the intercession of their old allies of Medina; they could not be ignorant that fanaticism obliterates the feelings of humanity.
** Chapter L, part VI

* Ye Christian dogs, you know your option; the Koran, the tribute, or the sword. We are a people whose delight is in war rather than in peace: and we despise your pitiful alms, since we shall be speedily masters of your wealth your families, and your persons.
** Chaled
** Chapter LI, part III

* In a private condition, our desires are perpetually repressed by poverty and subordination; but the lives and labors of millions are devoted to the service of a despotic prince, whose laws are blindly obeyed, and whose wishes are instantly gratified. Our imagination is dazzled by the splendid picture; and whatever may be the cool dictates of reason, there are few among us who would obstinately refuse a trial of the comforts and the cares of royalty. It may therefore be of some use to borrow the experience of the same [[:w:Abd-ar-Rahman III|Abdalrahman]], whose magnificence has perhaps excited our admiration and envy, and to transcribe an authentic memorial which was found in the closet of the deceased caliph. 'I have now reigned above fifty years in victory or peace; beloved by my subjects, dreaded by my enemies, and respected by my allies. Riches and honors, power and pleasure, have waited on my call, nor does any earthly blessing appear to have been wanting to my felicity. In this situation, I have diligently numbered the days of pure and genuine happiness which have fallen to my lot: they amount to Fourteen: - O man! place not thy confidence in this present world!' ... This confession, [[:w:Ecclesiastes#.22Vanity.22|the complaints of Solomon of the vanity of this world]]... and the happy ten days of the emperor Seghed... will be triumphantly quoted by the detractors of human life. Their expectations are commonly immoderate, their estimates are seldom impartial. If I may speak of myself, (the only person of whom I can speak with certainty), my happy hours have far exceeded, and far exceed, the scanty numbers of the caliph of Spain; and I shall not scruple to add, that many of them are due to the pleasing labor of the present composition.
** Chapter LII

* But the nations of the East had been taught to trample on the [[:w:Caliph#The Abbasids of Baghdad|successors of the prophet]]; and the blessings of domestic peace were obtained by the relaxation of strength and discipline. So uniform are the mischiefs of military despotism, that I seem to repeat the [[:w:Praetorian_guard#Political Meddling|story of the praetorians of Rome]].
** Chapter LII

* The sublime science of astronomy ... elevates the mind of man to disdain his diminutive planet and momentary existence.
** Chapter LII, part III

* Their rapacious spirit was approved and animated by the precepts of the Koran.
** Chapter LII, part IV

* In the national and religious conflict of the two empires [Byzantine and Saracen], peace was without confidence, and war without mercy.
** Chapter LII, part IV

* A victorious line of march had been prolonged above a thousand miles from the rock of Gibraltar to the banks of the Loire; the repetition of an equal space would have carried the Saracens to the confines of Poland and the Highlands of Scotland; the Rhine is not more impassable than the Nile or Euphrates, and the Arabian fleet might have sailed without a naval combat into the mouth of the Thames. '''Perhaps the interpretation of the Koran would now be taught in the schools of Oxford, and her pulpits might demonstrate to a circumcised people the sanctity and truth of the revelation of Mahomet.'''&lt;br&gt;From such calamities was Christendom delivered by the genius and fortune of one man. Charles, the illegitimate son of the elder Pepin, was content with the titles of mayor or duke of the Franks; but he deserved to become the father of a line of kings. [...]No sooner had he collected his forces, than he sought and found the enemy in the centre of France, between Tours and Poitiers. His well-conducted march was covered with a range of hills, and Abderame appears to have been surprised by his unexpected presence. The nations of Asia, Africa, and Europe, advanced with equal ardor to an encounter which would change the history of the world. In the six first days of desultory combat, the horsemen and archers of the East maintained their advantage: but in the closer onset of the seventh day, the Orientals were oppressed by the strength and stature of the Germans, who, with stout hearts and iron hands, asserted the civil and religious freedom of their posterity. The epithet of Martel, the Hammer, which has been added to the name of Charles, is expressive of his weighty and irresistible strokes: the valor of Eudes was excited by resentment and emulation; and their companions, in the eye of history, are the true Peers and Paladins of French chivalry. After a bloody field, in which Abderame was slain, the Saracens, in the close of the evening, retired to their camp. In the disorder and despair of the night, the various tribes of Yemen and Damascus, of Africa and Spain, were provoked to turn their arms against each other: the remains of their host were suddenly dissolved, and each emir consulted his safety by a hasty and separate retreat. At the dawn of the day, the stillness of a hostile camp was suspected by the victorious Christians: on the report of their spies, they ventured to explore the riches of the vacant tents; but if we except some celebrated relics, a small portion of the spoil was restored to the innocent and lawful owners. The joyful tidings were soon diffused over the Catholic world, and the monks of Italy could affirm and believe that three hundred and fifty, or three hundred and seventy-five, thousand of the Mahometans had been crushed by the hammer of Charles, while no more than fifteen hundred Christians were slain in the field of Tours. But this incredible tale is sufficiently disproved by the caution of the French general, who apprehended the snares and accidents of a pursuit, and dismissed his German allies to their native forests.&lt;br&gt;The inactivity of a conqueror betrays the loss of strength and blood, and the most cruel execution is inflicted, not in the ranks of battle, but on the backs of a flying enemy. Yet the victory of the Franks was complete and final; Aquitain was recovered by the arms of Eudes; the Arabs never resumed the conquest of Gaul, and they were soon driven beyond the Pyrenees by Charles Martel and his valiant race.
** LII

* Of human life, the most glorious or humble prospects are alike and soon bounded by the sepulchre.
** Chapter LVI, part IV

* From the paths of blood (and such is the history of nations) I cannot refuse to turn aside to gather some flowers of science or virtue.
** Chapter LVII, part I

* He possessed that vehemence of speech, which seldom fails to impart the persuasion of the soul.
** Chapter LVIII, part I

* But a law, however venerable be the sanction, cannot suddenly transform the temper of the times.
** Chapter LVIII, part I

* So familiar, and as it were so natural to man, is the practice of violence, that our indulgence allows the slightest provocation, the most disputable right, as a sufficient ground of national hostility.
** Chapter LVIII, part I

* A latent motive of affection or vanity might influence [[:w:Council of Clermont|the choice]] of [[:w:Pope Urban II|Urban]]: he was himself a native of France, a monk of Clugny, and the first of his countrymen who ascended the throne of St. Peter. The pope had illustrated his family and province; nor is there perhaps a more exquisite gratification than to revisit, in a conspicuous dignity, the humble and laborious scenes of our youth.
** Chapter LVIII, part I

* The soil is fruitful, and intersected with rivers; but it was then covered with morasses and forests, which spread to a boundless extent, whenever man has ceased to exercise his dominion over the earth.
** Chapter LVIII, part II

== Volume VI ==
* '''In the profession of Christianity, the variety of national characters may be clearly distinguished'''. The natives of Syria and Egypt abandoned their lives to lazy and contemplative devotion; Rome again aspired to the dominion of the world; and the wit of the lively and loquacious Greeks was consumed in the disputes of metaphysical theology.
** Chapter LIV

* The sentiment of fear is nearly allied to that of hatred.
** Chapter LIX, part I

* The successors of St. Peter appear to have followed, rather than guided, the impulse of manners and prejudice; without much foresight of the seasons, or cultivation of the soil, they gathered the ripe and spontaneous fruits of the superstition of the times.
** Chapter LIX, part III

* From these [[:w:Morea|Latin princes of the xivth century]], Boccace, Chaucer, and Shakspeare, have borrowed [[:w:A Midsummer Night's Dream|their Theseus duke of Athens]]. An ignorant age transfers its own language and manners to the most distant times.
** Chapter LXII

* In the year 1238, the inhabitants of Gothia (Sweden) and Frise were prevented, by their fear of the Tartars, from sending, as usual, their ships to the herring fishery on the coast of England; and as there was no exportation, forty or fifty of these fish were sold for a shilling... It is whimsical enough, that the orders of a [[:w:Ögedei Khan|Mogul khan]], who reigned on the borders of China, should have lowered the price of herrings in the English market.
** Chapter LXIV

* By the Venetians, the use of [[:w:black powder|gunpowder]] was communicated without reproach to the sultans of Egypt and Persia, their allies against the Ottoman power; the secret was soon propagated to the extremities of Asia; and the advantage of the European was confined to his easy victories over the savages of the new world. '''If we contrast the rapid progress of this mischievous discovery with the slow and laborious advances of reason, science, and the arts of peace, a philosopher, according to his temper, will laugh or weep at the folly of mankind'''.
** Chapter LXV

* But no sooner had [[:w:Timur|he]] introduced himself into the city, under color of a truce, than he perfidiously violated the treaty... and animated his troops to chastise the posterity of those Syrians who had executed, or approved, the murder of the [[:w:Husayn bin Ali|grandson of Mahomet]]. A family which had given honorable burial to the head of Hosein, and a colony of artificers, whom he sent to labor at Samarcand, were alone reserved in the general massacre, and after a period of seven centuries, Damascus was reduced to ashes, because a Tartar was moved by religious zeal to avenge the blood of an Arab.
** Chapter LXV

* Since the reign of [[:w:Aurangzeb|Aurungzebe]], [[:w:Mughal Empire|their empire]] had been dissolved; their treasures of Delhi have been rifled by a [[:w:Nadir Shah|Persian robber]]; and the richest of their kingdoms is now possessed by a [[:w:British East India Company|company of Christian merchants]], of a remote island in the Northern Ocean.
** Chapter LXV

* The winds and waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators.
** Chapter LXVIII

* [[:w:Gennadius Scholarius|His]] defence, at Florence, of the same union, which he so furiously attacked at Constantinople, has tempted Leo Allatius... to divide him into two men; but Renaudot... has restored the identity of his person and the duplicity of his character.
** Chapter LXVIII

* 'When [[:w:Geoffrey of Anjou|he was master of Normandy]], the chapter of Seez presumed, without his consent, to proceed to the election of a bishop' upon which he ordered all of them, with the bishop elect, to be castrated, and made all their testicles be brought him in a platter.' Of the pain and danger they might justly complain; yet since they had vowed chastity he deprived them of a superfluous treasure.
** Chapter LXIX

* Vicissitudes of fortune, which spares neither man nor the proudest of his works, which buries empires and cities in a common grave.
** Chapter LXXI

* In the preceding volumes of this History, I have described the triumph of barbarism and religion.
** Chapter LXXI

* All that is human must retrograde if it does not advance.
** Chapter LXXI

== About ==
* &quot;Another damned fat book, Mr. Gibbon? Scribble, scribble, scribble, eh Mr. Gibbon?&quot;
** variously attributed to King George III or Henry, Duke of Gloucester, upon receiving a volume of Gibbon's book.

* I set out upon...Gibbon's ''Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire'' [and] was immediately dominated both by the story and the style....I devoured Gibbon. I rode triumphantly through it from end to end and enjoyed it all.
** [[Winston Churchill]], ''My Early Life: A Roving Commission'' (New York: Charles Scribner's Sons, 1958) ,also quoted in &quot;Winston Churchill: Sketch for a Portrait&quot; in [[w:George Lichtheim|George Lichtheim]],''Thoughts Among the Ruins: Collected essays on Europe and beyond''. (Transaction Publishers, 1973)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.ccel.org/g/gibbon/decline/home.html ''The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire''] from the Christian Classics Ethereal Library. Formatted into chapters for easy web reading.
* [http://www.gutenberg.org/catalog/world/authrec?fk_authors=375 ''The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire'']{{dead link}} author record at [[w:Project Gutenberg|Project Gutenberg]]. Based on the Rev. H.H. Milman edition of 1845.

{{DEFAULTSORT:History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, The}}
[[Category:Roman Empire]]
[[Category:Histories]]</text>
      <sha1>ixbniqg8ss7r2bc67w9up94w812ej3w</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944005</id>
      <parentid>3944002</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T18:06:06Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Pmantyla</username>
        <id>37604</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Move quote from Chapter LIV to is proper location: &quot;In the profession of Christianity ...&quot;</comment>
      <origin>3944005</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="59343" sha1="a08exnrnog7woeq8erow533954f972i" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title|force=true}}
'''''[[w:The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire|The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire]]''''' (Vol. 1, 1776; Vols. II-III, 1781; Vols. IV-VI, 1788) by [[Edward Gibbon]]. One of the most famous historical works written in any language and covering over 1000 years of history, from the end of the [[:w:Antoninus Pius|Antonine]] dynasty to the fall of [[:w:Constantinople|Constantinople]].

== Volume I ==
* [[:w:Trajan|Trajan]] was ambitious of fame; and as long as mankind shall continue to bestow more liberal applause on their destroyers than on their benefactors, the thirst of military glory will ever be the vice of the most exalted characters.
** Chapter I

* The terror of the Roman arms added weight and dignity to the moderation of the emperors. They preserved peace by a constant preparation for war; and while justice regulated their conduct, they announced to the nations on their confines, that they were as little disposed to endure, as to offer an injury.
** Chapter I

* Yet Phoenicia and Palestine will forever live in the memory of mankind; since America, as well as Europe, has received [[:w:alphabet|letters]] from the one, and religion from the other.
** Chapter I

* That public virtue which among the ancients was denominated patriotism, is derived from a strong sense of our own interest in the preservation and prosperity of the free government of which we are members. Such a sentiment, which had rendered the legions of the republic almost invincible, could make but a very feeble impression on the mercenary servants of a despotic prince; and it became necessary to supply that defect by other motives, of a different, but not less forcible nature; honour and religion.
** Chapter I

* The masters of the fairest and most wealthy climates of the globe turned with contempt from gloomy hills, assailed by the winter tempest, from lakes concealed in a blue mist, and from cold and lonely heaths, over which the deer of the forest were chased by a troop of naked barbarians.
** Chapter I

* '''The various modes of worship, which prevailed in the Roman world, were all considered by the people, as equally true; by the philosopher, as equally false; and by the magistrate, as equally useful.'''
** Chapter II

* But the zeal of fanaticism prevailed over the cold and feeble efforts of policy.
** Chapter II

* We may be well assured, that a writer, conversant with the world, would never have ventured to expose the gods of his country to public ridicule, had they not already been the objects of secret contempt among the polished and enlightened orders of society.
** Chapter II

* Under a democratical government, the citizens exercise the powers of sovereignty; and those powers will be first abused, and afterwards lost, if they are committed to an unwieldy multitude. From the foot of the Alps to the extremity of Calabria, all the natives of Italy were born citizens of Rome. Their partial distinctions were obliterated, and they insensibly coalesced into one great nation, united by language, manners, and civil institutions, and equal to the weight of a powerful empire. The republic gloried in her generous policy, and was frequently rewarded by the merit and services of her adopted sons. Had she always confined the distinction of Romans to the ancient families within the walls of the city, that immortal name would have been deprived of some of its noblest ornaments.
** Chapter II

* Opinions of the Academics and [[:w:Epicureanism|Epicureans]] were of a less religious cast; but whilst the modest science of the former induced them to doubt, the positive ignorance of the latter urged them to deny, the providence of a Supreme Ruler.
** Chapter II

* In Etruria, in Greece, and in Gaul, it was the first care of the senate to dissolve those dangerous confederacies, which taught mankind that, as the Roman arms prevailed by division, they might be resisted by union. Those princes, whom the ostentation of gratitude or generosity permitted for a while to hold a precarious sceptre, were dismissed from their thrones, as soon as they had performed their appointed task of fashioning to the yoke the vanquished nations.
** Chapter II

* The situation of the Greeks was very different from that of the barbarians. The former had been long since civilized and corrupted. They had too much taste to relinquish their language, and too much vanity to adopt any foreign institutions. Still preserving the prejudices, after they had lost the virtues, of their ancestors, they affected to despise the unpolished manners of the Roman conquerors, whilst they were compelled to respect their superior wisdom and power.
** Chapter II

* Without destroying the distinction of ranks, a distant prospect of freedom and honors was presented, even to those whom pride and prejudice almost disdained to number among the human species.
** Chapter II

* The influence of the clergy, in an age of superstition, might be usefully employed to assert the rights of mankind; but so intimate is the connection between the throne and the altar, that the banner of the church has very seldom been seen on the side of the people.
** Chapter III

* The two Antonines (for it is of them that we are now speaking) governed the Roman world forty-two years, with the same invariable spirit of wisdom and virtue. ... Their united reigns are possibly the only period of history in which the happiness of a great people was the sole object of government.

* [[:w:Antoninus Pius|Antoninus]] diffused order and tranquillity over the greatest part of the earth.  His reign is marked by the rare advantage of furnishing very few materials for history; which is, indeed, little more than the register of the crimes, follies, and misfortunes of mankind.
** Chapter III This has often been truncated to : '''History...is indeed little more than the register of the crimes, follies, and misfortunes of mankind.'''

* The principles of a free constitution are irrevocably lost, when the legislative power is nominated by the executive.
** Chapter III

* But the power of instruction is seldom of much efficacy, except in those happy dispositions where it is almost superfluous.
** Chapter IV, part I
** In describing how [[w:Marcus Aurelius|Marcus Aurelius]] summoned men of virtue and learning to attempt to broaden the mind of his son [[w:Commodus|Commodus]].

* The most worthless of mankind are not afraid to condemn in others the same disorders which they allow in themselves; and can readily discover some nice difference of age, character, or station, to justify the partial distinction.
** Chapter VI

* In every age and country, the wiser, or at least the stronger, of the two sexes, has usurped the powers of the state, and confined the other to the cares and pleasures of domestic life.
** Chapter VI

* Metellus Numidicus, the censor, acknowledged to the Roman people in a public oration that had kind Nature allowed us to exist without the help of women, we should be delivered from a very troublesome companion; and he could recommend matrimony, only as the sacrifice of private pleasure to public duty.
** Chapter VI, part III, footnote 64

* Augustus was sensible that mankind is governed by names; nor was he deceived in his expectation, that the senate and people would submit to slavery, provided they were respectfully assured that they still enjoyed their ancient freedom.
** Chapter VII

* Twenty-two acknowledged concubines, and a library of sixty-two thousand volumes, attested the variety of [[:w:Gordian II|his]] inclinations; and from the productions which he left behind him, it appears that the former as well as the latter were designed for use rather than for ostentation.
** Chapter VII

* Although the progress of civilisation has undoubtedly contributed to assuage the fiercer passions of human nature, it seems to have been less favourable to the virtue of chastity, whose most dangerous enemy is the softness of the mind. The refinements of life corrupt while they polish the intercourse of the sexes.
** Chapter IX, part III

* Rational confidence ... is the just result of knowledge and experience.
** Chapter X, part III

* The voice of history .. is often little more than the organ of hatred or flattery.
** Chapter X, part IV

* &quot;You have lost,&quot; said Saturninus on the day of his elevation, &quot;a useful commander, and you have made a very wretched emperor.&quot;
** Chapter X, part IV

* Fear has been the original parent of superstition and every new calamity urges trembling mortals to deprecate the wrath of their invisible enemies.
** Chapter XI, part II

* Such was the unhappy condition of the Roman emperors, that, whatever might be their conduct, their fate was commonly the same. A life of pleasure or virtue, of severity or mildness, of indolence or glory, alike led to an untimely grave; and almost every reign is closed by the same disgusting repetition of treason and murder.
** Chapter XII, part I

* &quot;Alas!&quot; he [Saturninus] said, &quot;the republic has lost a useful servant, and the rashness of an hour has destroyed the services of many years. You know not,&quot; continued he, &quot;the misery of sovereign power: a sword is perpetually suspended over our head. We dread our very guards, we distrust our companions. The choice of action or of repose is no longer in our disposition, nor is there any age, or character, or conduct, that can protect us from the censure of envy. In thus exalting me to the throne, you have doomed me to a life of cares, and to an untimely fate.
** Chapter XII, part II

* But whenever the offence inspires less horror than the punishment, the rigour of penal law is obliged to give way to the common feelings of mankind.
** Chapter XIV, part IV

* It was no longer esteemed infamous for a Roman to survive his honour and independence.
** Chapter XIV, part IV

* The desire of perfection became the ruling passion of their soul; and it is well known that, while reason embraces a cold mediocrity, our passions hurry us with rapid violence over the space which lies between the most opposite extremes.
** Chapter XV, part V

* But the human character, however it may be exalted or depressed by a temporary enthusiasm, will return by degrees to its proper and natural level, and will resume those passions that seem the most adapted to its present condition.
** Chapter XV, part VI

* &quot;Unhappy men!&quot; exclaimed the proconsul Antoninus to the Christians of Asia, &quot;If you are thus weary of your lives, is it so difficult for you to find ropes and precipices?&quot;
** Chapter XVI, part IV
** Zealous Christians apparently provoked the authorities in order to become martyrs

== Volume II ==

* '''In the various states of society, armies are recruited from very different motives. Barbarians are urged by the love of war; the citizens of a free republic may be prompted by a principle of duty; the subjects, or at least the nobles, of a monarchy, are animated by a sentiment of honor; but the timid and luxurious inhabitants of a declining empire must be allured into the service by the hopes of profit, or compelled by the dread of punishment.'''
** Chapter XVII

* The progress of despotism ... tends to disappoint its own purpose.
** Chapter XVII, part IV

* The general peace which [Constantine] maintained during the last fourteen years of his reign, was a period of apparent splendour rather than of real prosperity; and the old age of Constantine was disgraced by the opposite yet reconcilable vices of rapaciousness and prodigality.
** Chapter XVIII

* But the operation of the wisest laws is imperfect and precarious. They seldom inspire virtue, they cannot always restrain vice.
** Chapter XX, part I

* Corruption, the most infallible symptom of constitutional liberty.
** Chapter XXI

* Whenever the spirit of fanaticism, at once so credulous and so crafty, has insinuated itself into a noble mind, it insensibly corrodes the vital principles of virtue and veracity.
** Chapter XXII, part I

* It is the common calamity of old age to lose whatever might have rendered it desirable.
** Chapter XXIV, part I

* I die without remorse, as I have lived without guilt.
** Julian the Apostate
** Chapter XXIV, part IV

* Flattery is a foolish suicide; she destroys herself with her own hands.
** Chapter XXV, part I, footnote 1

* the inquisition into the crime of magic, which, under the reign of the two brothers, was so rigorously prosecuted both at Rome and Antioch, was interpreted as the fatal symptom, either of the displeasure of Heaven, or the depravity of mankind. Let us not hesitate to indulge a liberal pride, that, in the present age, the enlightened part of Europe has abolished a cruel and odious prejudice, which reigned in every climate of the globe, and adhered to every system of religious opinion. The nations, the sects, of the roman world, admitted with equal credulity, and similar abhorrence, the reality of that infernal art, which was able to control the eternal order of the planets, and the voluntary operations of the human mind. They dreaded the mysterious power of spells and incantations, of potent herbs, and execrable rites; which could extinguish or recall life, inflame the passions of the soul, blast the works of creation, and extort from the reluctant demons the secrets of futurity. They believed, with the wildest inconsistency, that this preternatural dominion of the air, of earth, and of hell, was exercised, from the vilest motives of malice or gain, by some wrinkled hags and itinerate sorcerers, who passed their lives in penury and contempt. The arts of magic were equally condemned by the public opinion, and by the laws of Rome; but as they tended to gratify the most imperious passions of the heart of man, they were continually proscribed, and continually practiced.
** Chapter XXV

* But the wisdom and authority of the legislator are seldom victorious in a contest with the vigilant dexterity of private interest.
** Chapter XXV, part III

* A philosopher may deplore the eternal discord of the human race, but he will confess that the desire of spoil is a more rational provocation than the vanity of conquest.
** Chapter XXV, part V

* He was released from the miseries of life.
** Chapter XXV, part VI

* Ammianus is so eloquent that he writes nonsense.
** Chapter XXV, part VII, footnote 154

* The progress of manufactures and commerce insensibly collects a large multitude within the walls of a city; but these citizens are no longer soldiers, and the arts which adorn and improve the state of civil society corrupt the habits of the military life.
** Chapter XXVI, part I

* Man has much more to fear from the passions of his fellow-creatures than from the convulsions of the elements.
** Chapter XXVI, part I

* Resistance was fatal; flight was impracticable; and the patient submission of helpless innocence seldom found mercy from the barbarian conqueror.
** Chapter XXVI, part III

* Feeble and timid minds ... consider the use of the dilatory and ambiguous measures as the most admirable efforts of consummate prudence.
** Chapter XXVI, part III

* I reverence the field of battle, stained with their blood and the blood of the barbarians. Those honourable marks have been already washed away by the rains; but the lofty monuments of their bones, the bones of generals, of centurions, and of valiant warriors, claim a longer period of duration.
** Libanius
** Chapter XXVI, part IV

* The urgent consideration of the public safety may undoubtedly authorise the violation of every positive law. How far that or any other consideration may operate to dissolve the natural obligations of humanity and justice, is a doctrine of which I still desire to remain ignorant.
** Chapter XXVI, part V

== Volume III ==

* His profound veneration for the Christian clergy was rewarded by the applause and gratitude of a powerful order, which has claimed in every age the privilege of dispensing honours, both on earth and in heaven.
** Chapter XXVII, part I

* Yet every physician is prone to exaggerate the inveterate nature of the disease which he has cured.
** Chapter XXVII, part II, footnote 26.
** In this case remarking on the works of [[w:Gregory Nazianzen|Gregory Nazianzen]].

* If the exercise of justice is the most important duty, the indulgence of mercy is the most exquisite pleasure of a sovereign.
** Theodosius
** Chapter XXVII, part IV

* The son of Theodosius passed the slumber of his life, a captive in his palace, a stranger in his country, and the patient, almost the indifferent, spectator of the ruin of the Western empire, which was repeatedly attacked, and finally subverted, by the arms of the Barbarians. In the eventful history of a reign of twenty-eight years, it will seldom be necessary to mention the name of the emperor [[:w:Flavius Augustus Honorius|Honorius]].
** Chapter XXIX

* In populous cities, which are the seat of commerce and manufactures, the middle ranks of inhabitants, who derive their subsistence from the dexterity or labour of their hands, are commonly the most prolific, the most useful, and; in that sense, the most respectable part of the community.
** Chapter XXXI, part II

* '''There exists in human nature a strong propensity to depreciate the advantages, and to magnify the evils, of the present time'''s.
** Chapter XXXI, part IV
** In this case recent injuries to Rome from the Goths compared to those from the Gauls in former times.
** Similar &quot;Notwithstanding the propensity of mankind to exalt the past, and to depreciate the present,&quot; in volume I, chapter II, part IV.

* The groans of the dying excited only the envy of their surviving friends.
** Mariana de Rebus Hispanicis
** Chapter XXXI, part VI

* The inconstant, rebellious disposition of the people [of Armorica], was incompatible either with freedom or servitude.
** Chapter XXXI, part VI

* But the desire of obtaining the advantages, and of escaping the burthens, of political society, is a perpetual and inexhaustible source of discord.
** Chapter XXXI, part VI

* A military force was collected in Europe, formidable by their arms and numbers, if the generals had understood the science of command, and their soldiers the duty of obedience.
** Chapter XXXIV, part I

* In the hands of a popular preacher, an earthquake is an engine of admirable effect.
** Chapter XXXIV, part I, footnote 22 (it's footnote 21 in other editions)

* For what fortress, what city, in the wide extent of the Roman empire, can hope to exist, secure and impregnable, if it is our pleasure that it should be erased from the earth?
** Attila the Hun
** Chapter XXXIV, part II

* It was the opinion of Marcian, that war should be avoided as long as it is possible to preserve a secure and honourable peace; but it was likewise his opinion that peace cannot be honourable or secure, if the sovereign betrays a pusillanimous aversion to war.
** Chapter XXXV, part I

* The conflict was obstinate; the slaughter was mutual.
** Chapter XXXV, part I

* Whole generations may be swept away by the madness of kings in the space of a single hour.
** Chapter XXXV, part II

* I am ignorant, sir, of your motives or provocations; I only know that you have acted like a man who cuts off his right hand with his left.
** Unnamed Roman
** Chapter XXXV, part III

* But the emperor of the West, the feeble and dissolute Valentinian, who had reached his thirty-fifth year without attaining the age of reason or courage, abused this apparent security to undermine the foundations of his own throne by the murder of the patrician Aetius.
** Chapter XXXV, part III

* The Roman government appeared every day less formidable to its enemies, more odious and oppressive to its subjects.
** Chapter XXXV, part III

* But the day of his inauguration was the last day of his happiness.
** Chapter XXXVI, part I

* The successor of Avitus [Majorian] presents the welcome discovery of a great and heroic character, such as sometimes arise, in a degenerate age, to vindicate the honour of the human species.
** Chapter XXXVI, part II

* History has scarcely deigned to notice his [Libius Severus's] birth, his elevation, his character, or his death.
** Chapter XXXVI, part III

* The emperor was probably born in the province of Galatia, whose inhabitants, the Gallo-Grecians, were supposed to unite the vices of a savage and a corrupted people.
** Chapter XXXVI, part IV, footnote 103

* The revolution of ages may bring round the same calamities; but ages may revolve without producing a Tacitus to describe them.
** Chapter XXXVI, part IV, footnote 110

* He [Ennodius] adds weight to the narrative of Procopius, though we may doubt whether the devil actually contrived the siege of Pavia to distress the bishop and his flock.
** Chapter XXXVI, part V, footnote 119

* The Romans derided his [Marius's] indolence; they soon bewailed his activity.
** Chapter XXXVI, part V, footnote 130

* Severinus died in Noricum, A.D. 482. Six years afterwards his body, which scattered miracles as it passed, was transported by his disciples into Italy.
** Chapter XXXVI, part V, footnote 132

* They [the Ascetics] seriously renounced the business, and the pleasures, of the age; abjured the use of wine, of flesh, and of marriage; chastised their body, mortified their affections, and embraced a life of misery, as the price of eternal happiness.
** Chapter XXXVII, part I

* The stories of Paul, Hilarion, and Malchus, by the same author [St. Jerom], are admirably told; and the only defect of these pleasing compositions is the want of truth and common sense.
** Chapter XXXVII, part I, footnote 17

* The peace of the Eastern church was invaded by a swarm of fanatics [monks], incapable of fear, or reason, or humanity; and the Imperial troops acknowledged, without shame, that they were much less apprehensive of an encounter with the fiercest barbarians.
** Chapter XXXVII, part I

* Pleasure and guilt are synonymous terms in the language of the monks, and they had discovered, by experience, that rigid fasts and abstemious diet are the most effectual preservatives against the impure desires of the flesh.
** Chapter XXXVII, part II

* The monastic studies have tended, for the most part to darken, rather than to dispel, the cloud of superstition.
** Chapter XXXVII, part II

* I have somewhere heard or read the frank confession of a Benedictine abbot: &quot;My vow of poverty has given me an hundred thousand crowns a year; my vow of obedience has raised me to the rank of a sovereign prince.&quot; I forget the consequences of his vow of chastity.
** Chapter XXXVII, part II, footnote 57

* Recluse fanatics have few ideas or sentiments to communicate.
** Chapter XXXVII, part II

* Industry must be faint and languid which is not excited by the sense of personal interest.
** Chapter XXXVII, part II

* Their [the monks'] credulity debased and vitiated the faculties of the mind: they corrupted the evidence of history; and superstition gradually extinguished the hostile light of philosophy and science.
** Chapter XXXVII, part II

* All the manly virtues were oppressed by the servile and pusillanimous reign of the monks.
** Chapter XXXVII, part II

* The ferocious Germans [have] so often attempted, and who will always desire, to exchange the solitude of their woods and morasses for the wealth and fertility of Gaul.
** Tacitus
** Chapter XXXVIII, part I

* The fortune of nations has often depended on accidents.
** Chapter XXXVIII, part I

* They [the Gauls] derided the hairy and gigantic savages of the North; their rustic manners, dissonant joy, voracious appetite, and their horrid appearance, equally disgusting to the sight and to the smell.
** Chapter XXXVIII, part I

* The Gauls were endowed with all the advantages of art and nature, but, as they wanted courage to defend them, they were justly condemned to obey, and even to flatter, the victorious barbarians by whose clemency they held their precarious fortunes and their lives.
** Chapter XXXVIII, part I

* If you truly profess the Christian religion, why do you not restrain the king of the Franks? He has declared war against me, and forms alliances with my enemies for my destruction. A sanguinary and covetous mind is not the symptom of a sincere conversion: let him show his faith by his works.
** Gundobald, King of the Bugundians
** Chapter XXXVIII, part I

* Perhaps it would not be easy, within the same historical space, to find more vice and less virtue. We are continually shocked by the union of savage [Barbarian] and corrupt [Roman] manners.
** Chapter XXXVIII, part II, footnote 61

* A bloody and complete victory has sometimes yielded no more than the possession of the field; and the loss of ten thousand men has sometimes been sufficient to destroy, in a single day, the work of ages.
** Chapter XXXVIII, part II

* The love of freedom, so often invigorated and disgraced by private ambition, was reduced among the licentious Franks to the contempt of order and the desire of impunity.
** Chapter XXXVIII, part IV

* Every age, however destitute of science or virtue, sufficiently abounds with acts of blood and military renown.
** Chapter XXXVIII, part V

* By the revolution of Britain the limits of science as well as of empire were contracted. The dark cloud which had been cleared by the Phoenician discoveries, and finally dispelled by the arms of Caesar, again settled on the shores of the Atlantic, and a Roman province was again lost among the fabulous islands of the Ocean.
** Chapter XXXVIII, part V

* But the decline of Rome was the natural and inevitable effect of immoderate greatness. Prosperity ripened the principle of decay; the causes of destruction multiplied with the extent of conquest; and as soon as time or accident had removed the artificial supports, the stupendous fabric yielded to the pressure of its own weight.
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

* Instead of inquiring why the Roman empire was destroyed, we should rather be surprised that it had subsisted so long. 
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

* Extreme distress, which unites the virtue of a free people, embitters the factions of a declining monarchy.
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

* The clergy successfully preached the doctrines of patience and pusillanimity; the active virtues of society were discouraged; and the last remains of military spirit were buried in the cloister: a large portion of public and private wealth was consecrated to the specious demands of charity and devotion; and the soldiers' pay was lavished on the useless multitudes of both sexes who could only plead the merits of abstinence and chastity.
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

* The savage nations of the globe are the common enemies of civilised society; and we may inquire, with anxious curiosity, whether Europe is still threatened with a repetition of those calamities which formerly oppressed the arms and institutions of Rome.
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

* Yet this apparent security should not tempt us to forget that new enemies and unknown dangers may possibly arise from some obscure people, scarcely visible in the map of the world. The Arabs or Saracens, who spread their conquests from India to Spain, had languished in poverty and contempt till Mahomet breathed into those savage bodies the soul of enthusiasm.
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

* Europe is secure from any future irruption of barbarians; since, before they can conquer, they must cease to be barbarous.
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

* Yet the experience of four thousand years should enlarge our hopes and diminish our apprehensions: we cannot determine to what height the human species may aspire in their advance towards perfection; but it may safely be presumed that no people, unless the face of nature is changed, will relapse into their original barbarism.
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

* We may therefore acquiesce in the pleasing conclusion that every age of the world has increased and still increases the real wealth, the happiness, the knowledge, and perhaps the virtue, of the human race.
** General Observations On The Fall Of The Roman Empire In The West

== Volume IV ==
* Their [the Ostrogoths'] poverty was incurable; since the most liberal donatives were soon dissipated in wasteful luxury, and the most fertile estates became barren in their hands; they despised, but they envied, the laborious provincials; and when their subsistence had failed, the Ostrogoths embraced the familiar resources of war and rapine.
** Chapter XXXIX, part I

* But if the royal ear was open to the voice of truth, a saint and a philosopher are not always to be found at the ear of kings.
** Chapter XXXIX, part III

* Boethius might have been styled happy, if that precarious epithet could be safely applied before the last term of the life of man.
** Chapter XXXIX, part III

* In these honourable contests his spirit soared above the consideration of danger, and perhaps of prudence.
** Chapter XXXIX, part III

* A material difference may be observed in the games of antiquity: the most eminent of the Greeks were actors, the Romans were merely spectators. The Olympic stadium was open to wealth, merit, and ambition; and if the candidates could depend on their personal skill and activity, they might pursue the footsteps of Diomede and Menelaus, and conduct their own horses in the rapid career&amp;hellip; But a [Roman] senator, or even a citizen, conscious of his dignity, would have blushed to expose his person or his horses in the circus of Rome. The games were established at the expense of the republic, the magistrates, or the emperors; but the reins were abandoned to servile hands; and if the profits of a favourite charioteer sometimes exceeded those of an advocate, they must be considered as the effects of popular extravagance, and the high wages of a disgraceful profession.
** Chapter XL
** contrasting active Greek and passive Roman sport

* From this capital, this pestilence was diffused into the provinces and cities of the East, and the sportive distinction of two colours produced two strong and irreconcilable factions, which shook the foundations of a feeble government&amp;hellip; Every law, either human or divine, was trampled under foot; and as long as the party was successful, its deluded followers appeared careless of private distress or public calamity.
** Chapter XL
** on the fighting between the Blue and Green factions of chariot race fans

* It is the interest as well as duty of a sovereign to maintain the authority of the laws.
** Chapter XL, part II

* For my own part, I adhere to the maxim of antiquity, that the throne is a glorious sepulchre.
** Theodora
** Chapter XL, part II

* The enthusiast who entered the dome of St. Sophia might be tempted to suppose that it was the residence, or even the workmanship, of the Deity. Yet how dull is the artifice, how insignificant is the labour, if it be compared with the formation of the vilest insect that crawls upon the surface of the temple!
** Chapter XL, part IV

* The Gothic arms were less fatal to the schools of Athens than the establishment of a new religion, whose ministers superseded the exercise of reason, resolved every question by an article of faith, and condemned the infidel or sceptic to eternal flames.
** Chapter XL, part V

* I am not insensible of the benefits of elegant luxury; yet I reflect with some pain, that if [[:w:Silk#Secret|the importers of silk]] had introduced the art of printing, already practised by the Chinese, the comedies of Menander and the entire decads of Livy would have been perpetuated in the editions of the sixth century.
** Chapter XL

* In the evening Belisarius led his infantry to the attack of the camp; and the pusillanimous flight of Gelimer exposed the vanity of his recent declarations, that to the vanquished, death was a relief, life a burden, and infamy the only object of terror.
** Chapter XLI, part II

* So long as Heaven has condemned us to suffer, patience is a virtue; but if we reject the proffered deliverance, it degenerates into blind and stupid despair.
** Pharas
** Chapter XLI, part II

* The vain and transitory scenes of human greatness are unworthy of a serious thought.
** Chapter XLI, part II

* Flattery adheres to power, and envy to superior merit.
** Chapter XLI, part II

* If it were not a melancholy truth, that the first and most cruel sufferings must be the lot of the innocent and helpless, history might exult in the misery of the conquerors, who, in the midst of riches, were left destitute of bread or wine, reduced to drink the waters of the Po, and to feed on the flesh of distempered cattle.
** Chapter XLI, part V

* The spectator and historian of his [Belisarius's] exploits has observed, that amidst the perils of war, he was daring without rashness, prudent without fear, slow or rapid according to the exigencies of the moment; that in the deepest distress he was animated by real or apparent hope, but that he was modest and humble in the most prosperous fortune.
** Chapter XLI, part VI

* The revenge of a guilty woman is implacable and bloody.
** Chapter XLI, part VI

* Our estimate of personal merit, is relative to the common faculties of mankind. The aspiring efforts of genius, or virtue, either in active or speculative life, are measured, not so much by their real elevation, as by the height to which they ascend above the level of their age and country; and the same stature, which in a people of giants would pass unnoticed, must appear conspicuous in a race of pygmies.
** Chapter XLII, part I

* It is impossible to reduce, or, at least, to hold a distant country against the wishes and efforts of its inhabitants.
** Chapter XLII, part III

* If a Christian power had been maintained in Arabia, Mahomet must have been crushed in his cradle, and Abyssinia would have prevented a revolution which has changed the civil and religious state of the world.
** Chapter XLII, part III

* That country [Carthage] was rapidly sinking into the state of barbarism from whence it had been raised by the Phoenician colonies and Roman laws; and every step of intestine discord was marked by some deplorable victory of savage man over civilized society.
** Chapter XLIII, part I

* It was his [Totila's] constant theme, that national vice and ruin are inseparably connected; that victory is the fruit of moral as well as military virtue; and that the prince, and even the people, are responsible for the crimes which they neglect to punish.
** Chapter XLIII, part I

* But the works of man are impotent against the assaults of nature.
** Chapter XLIII, part III

* A Locrian, who proposed any new law, stood forth in the assembly of the people with a cord round his neck, and if the law was rejected, the innovator was instantly strangled.
** Chapter XLIV, part II

* The Romans had aspired to be equal; they were levelled by the equality of servitude.
** Chapter XLIV, part II

* A jurisdiction thus vague and arbitrary was exposed to the most dangerous abuse: the substance, as well as the form, of justice were often sacrificed to the prejudices of virtue, the bias of laudable affection, and the grosser seductions of interest or resentment.
** Chapter XLIV, part II

* The science of the laws is the slow growth of time and experience.
** Chapter XLIV, part IV

* It is the first care of a reformer to prevent any future reformation.
** Chapter XLIV, part IV

* The law of nature instructs most animals to cherish and educate their infant progeny. The law of reason inculcates to the human species the returns of filial piety.
** Chapter XLIV, part IV

* Passion, interest, or caprice, suggested daily motives for the dissolution of marriage; a word, a sign, a message, a letter, the mandate of a freedman, declared the separation; the most tender of human connections was degraded to a transient society of profit or pleasure.
** Chapter XLIV, part IV

* A specious theory is confuted by this free and perfect experiment, which demonstrates, that the liberty of divorce does not contribute to happiness and virtue. The facility of separation would destroy all mutual confidence, and inflame every trifling dispute: the minute difference between a husband and a stranger, which might so easily be removed, might still more easily be forgotten; and the matron, who in five years can submit to the embraces of eight husbands, must cease to reverence the chastity of her own person.
** Chapter XLIV, part IV

* In the most rigorous [Roman] laws, a wife was condemned to support a gamester, a drunkard, or a libertine, unless he were guilty of homicide, poison, or sacrilege, in which cases the marriage, as it should seem, might have been dissolved by the hand of the executioner.
** Chapter XLIV, part IV

* The successor of Justinian yielded to the prayers of his unhappy subjects, and restored the liberty of divorce by mutual consent: the civilians were unanimous, the theologians were divided, and the ambiguous word, which contains the precept of Christ, is flexible to any interpretation that the wisdom of a legislator can demand.
** Chapter XLIV, part IV

* Women were condemned to the perpetual tutelage of parents, husbands, or guardians; a sex created to please and obey was never supposed to have attained the age of reason and experience. Such, at least, was the stern and haughty spirit of the ancient law, which had been insensibly mollified before the time of Justinian.
** Chapter XLIV, part V

* The active, insatiate principle of self-love can alone supply the arts of life and the wages of industry; and as soon as civil government and exclusive property have been introduced, they become necessary to the existence of the human race.
** Chapter XLIV, part V

* A sentence of death and infamy was often founded on the slight and suspicious evidence of a child or a servant: the guilt of the green faction, of the rich, and of the enemies of Theodora, was presumed by the judges, and paederasty became the crime of those to whom no crime could be imputed.
** Chapter XLIV, part VII

* The criminal penalties [for suicide] are the production of a later and darker age.
** Chapter XLIV, part VII, footnote 206

* Yet the civilians have always respected the natural right of a citizen to dispose of his life.
** Chapter XLIV, part VII

* The discretion of the judge is the first engine of tyranny.
** Chapter XLIV, part VII

* But the government of Justinian united the evils of liberty and servitude; and the Romans were oppressed at the same time by the multiplicity of their laws and the arbitrary will of their master.
** Chapter XLIV, part VII

* When a public quarrel is envenomed by private injuries, a blow that is not mortal or decisive can be productive only of a short truce, which allows the unsuccessful combatant to sharpen his arms for a new encounter.
** Chapter XLV, part I

* The more stubborn [[:w:Lombards|Barbarians]] sacrificed a she-goat, or perhaps a captive, to the gods of their fathers... Gregory the Roman supposes that they likewise adored this she-goat. '''I know but of one religion in which the god and the victim are the same.'''
** Chapter XLV, part I, footnote 14

* A society in which marriage is encouraged and industry prevails soon repairs the accidental losses of pestilence and war.
** Chapter XLV, part III

* The events by which the fate of nations is not materially changed, leave a faint impression on the page of history, and the patience of the reader would be exhausted by the repetition of the same hostilities, undertaken without cause, prosecuted without glory, and terminated without effect.
** Chapter XLVI, part I

* A reformer should be exempt from the suspicion of interest, and he must possess the confidence and esteem of those whom he proposes to reclaim.
** Chapter XLVI, part II

* But the pride of the Persian had not yet sunk to the level of his fortune.
** Chapter XLVI, part IV

* According to the faith and mercy of his Christian enemies, he [Chosroes] sunk without hope into a still deeper abyss; and it will not be denied, that tyrants of every age and sect are the best entitled to such infernal abodes.
** Chapter XLVI, part IV

* And the more formidable monks, whose minds were inaccessible to reason or mercy, besieged the doors of the cathedral.
** Chapter XLVII, part III

* He [Justinian] piously labored to establish with fire and sword the unity of the Christian faith.
** Chapter XLVII, part III

* The province which had been ruined by the bigotry of Justinian, was the same through which the Mahometans penetrated into the empire.
** Chapter XLVII, part III, footnote 90

* Language, the leading principle which unites or separates the tribes of mankind, soon discriminated the sectaries of the East, by a peculiar and perpetual badge, which abolished the means of intercourse and the hope of reconciliation.
** Chapter XLVII, part III

* The long dominion of the Greeks, their colonies, and, above all, their eloquence, had propagated a language doubtless the most perfect that has been contrived by the art of man.
** Chapter XLVII, part III

* The desire of gaining souls for God and subjects for the church, has excited in every age the diligence of the Christian priests.
** Chapter XLVII, part IV

* Under the rod of oppression, the zeal of the Armenians is fervent and intrepid; they have often preferred the crown of martyrdom to the white turban of Mahomet.
** Chapter XLVII, part IV

* In every deed of mischief [[:w:Andronicus I Comnenus|he]] had a heart to resolve, a head to contrive, and a hand to execute.
** Chapter XLVIII

* During his government of twenty-five years, the penalty of death was abolished in the Roman empire, a law of mercy most delightful to the humane theorist, but of which the practice, in a large and vicious community, is seldom consistent with the public safety.
** Chapter XLVIII, part IV

* Our sympathy is cold to the relation of distant misery.
** Chapter XLIX

* In the field of controversy I always pity the moderate party, who stand on the open middle ground exposed to the fire of both sides.
** Chapter XLIX, part I, footnote 30

* Ignorant of the arts of luxury, the primitive Romans had improved the science of government and war.
** Chapter XLIX, part II

* But their minds were not yet humbled to their condition; and instead of affecting the pacific virtues of the feeble, they peevishly harassed the Romans with a repetition of claims, evasions, and inroads, which they undertook without reflection, and terminated without glory.
** Chapter XLIX, part II

* There is nothing perhaps more adverse to nature and reason than to hold in obedience remote countries and foreign nations, in opposition to their inclination and interest.
** Chapter XLIX, part VI

* An extensive empire must be supported by a refined system of policy and oppression; in the centre, an absolute power, prompt in action and rich in resources; a swift and easy communication with the extreme parts; fortifications to check the first effort of rebellion; a regular administration to protect and punish; and a well-disciplined army to inspire fear, without provoking discontent and despair.
** Chapter XLIX, part VI

== Volume V ==
* Mahomet, with the sword in one hand and the Koran in the other, erected his throne on the ruins of Christianity and of Rome.
** Chapter L, part I

* In this primitive and abject state, which ill deserves the name of society, the human brute, without arts or laws, almost without sense or language, is poorly distinguished from the rest of the animal creation.
** Chapter L, part I

* Our toil is lessened, and our wealth is increased, by our dominion over the useful animals.
** Chapter L, part I

* The life of a wandering Arab is a life of danger and distress; and though sometimes, by rapine or exchange, he may appropriate the fruits of industry, a private citizen in Europe is in the possession of more solid and pleasing luxury than the proudest emir, who marches in the field at the head of ten thousand horse.
** Chapter L, part I

* The noblest of [Arabs] united the love of arms with the profession of merchandise.
** Chapter L, part I

* [Arabs are] a people, whom it is dangerous to provoke, and fruitless to attack.
** Chapter L, part I

* But their [the Arabs'] friendship was venal, their faith inconstant, their enmity capricious: it was an easier task to excite than to disarm these roving barbarians; and, in the familiar intercourse of war, they learned to see, and to despise, the splendid weakness both of Rome and of Persia.
** Chapter L, part I

* The separation of the Arabs from the rest of mankind has accustomed them to confound the ideas of stranger and enemy
** Chapter L, part II

* The character of Hatem is the perfect model of Arabian virtue: he was brave and liberal, an eloquent poet, and a successful robber.
** Chapter L, part II

* [Beauty is] an outward gift which is seldom despised, except by those to whom it has been refused.
** Chapter L, part III

* The moral attributes of Jehovah may not easily be reconciled with the standard of human virtue.
** Chapter L, part III

* Mahomet has not specified the male companions of the female elect, lest he should either alarm the jealousy of their former husbands, or disturb their felicity, by the suspicion of an everlasting marriage.
** Chapter L, part IV

* They trusted to the intercession of their old allies of Medina; they could not be ignorant that fanaticism obliterates the feelings of humanity.
** Chapter L, part VI

* Ye Christian dogs, you know your option; the Koran, the tribute, or the sword. We are a people whose delight is in war rather than in peace: and we despise your pitiful alms, since we shall be speedily masters of your wealth your families, and your persons.
** Chaled
** Chapter LI, part III

* In a private condition, our desires are perpetually repressed by poverty and subordination; but the lives and labors of millions are devoted to the service of a despotic prince, whose laws are blindly obeyed, and whose wishes are instantly gratified. Our imagination is dazzled by the splendid picture; and whatever may be the cool dictates of reason, there are few among us who would obstinately refuse a trial of the comforts and the cares of royalty. It may therefore be of some use to borrow the experience of the same [[:w:Abd-ar-Rahman III|Abdalrahman]], whose magnificence has perhaps excited our admiration and envy, and to transcribe an authentic memorial which was found in the closet of the deceased caliph. 'I have now reigned above fifty years in victory or peace; beloved by my subjects, dreaded by my enemies, and respected by my allies. Riches and honors, power and pleasure, have waited on my call, nor does any earthly blessing appear to have been wanting to my felicity. In this situation, I have diligently numbered the days of pure and genuine happiness which have fallen to my lot: they amount to Fourteen: - O man! place not thy confidence in this present world!' ... This confession, [[:w:Ecclesiastes#.22Vanity.22|the complaints of Solomon of the vanity of this world]]... and the happy ten days of the emperor Seghed... will be triumphantly quoted by the detractors of human life. Their expectations are commonly immoderate, their estimates are seldom impartial. If I may speak of myself, (the only person of whom I can speak with certainty), my happy hours have far exceeded, and far exceed, the scanty numbers of the caliph of Spain; and I shall not scruple to add, that many of them are due to the pleasing labor of the present composition.
** Chapter LII

* But the nations of the East had been taught to trample on the [[:w:Caliph#The Abbasids of Baghdad|successors of the prophet]]; and the blessings of domestic peace were obtained by the relaxation of strength and discipline. So uniform are the mischiefs of military despotism, that I seem to repeat the [[:w:Praetorian_guard#Political Meddling|story of the praetorians of Rome]].
** Chapter LII

* The sublime science of astronomy ... elevates the mind of man to disdain his diminutive planet and momentary existence.
** Chapter LII, part III

* Their rapacious spirit was approved and animated by the precepts of the Koran.
** Chapter LII, part IV

* In the national and religious conflict of the two empires [Byzantine and Saracen], peace was without confidence, and war without mercy.
** Chapter LII, part IV

* A victorious line of march had been prolonged above a thousand miles from the rock of Gibraltar to the banks of the Loire; the repetition of an equal space would have carried the Saracens to the confines of Poland and the Highlands of Scotland; the Rhine is not more impassable than the Nile or Euphrates, and the Arabian fleet might have sailed without a naval combat into the mouth of the Thames. '''Perhaps the interpretation of the Koran would now be taught in the schools of Oxford, and her pulpits might demonstrate to a circumcised people the sanctity and truth of the revelation of Mahomet.'''&lt;br&gt;From such calamities was Christendom delivered by the genius and fortune of one man. Charles, the illegitimate son of the elder Pepin, was content with the titles of mayor or duke of the Franks; but he deserved to become the father of a line of kings. [...]No sooner had he collected his forces, than he sought and found the enemy in the centre of France, between Tours and Poitiers. His well-conducted march was covered with a range of hills, and Abderame appears to have been surprised by his unexpected presence. The nations of Asia, Africa, and Europe, advanced with equal ardor to an encounter which would change the history of the world. In the six first days of desultory combat, the horsemen and archers of the East maintained their advantage: but in the closer onset of the seventh day, the Orientals were oppressed by the strength and stature of the Germans, who, with stout hearts and iron hands, asserted the civil and religious freedom of their posterity. The epithet of Martel, the Hammer, which has been added to the name of Charles, is expressive of his weighty and irresistible strokes: the valor of Eudes was excited by resentment and emulation; and their companions, in the eye of history, are the true Peers and Paladins of French chivalry. After a bloody field, in which Abderame was slain, the Saracens, in the close of the evening, retired to their camp. In the disorder and despair of the night, the various tribes of Yemen and Damascus, of Africa and Spain, were provoked to turn their arms against each other: the remains of their host were suddenly dissolved, and each emir consulted his safety by a hasty and separate retreat. At the dawn of the day, the stillness of a hostile camp was suspected by the victorious Christians: on the report of their spies, they ventured to explore the riches of the vacant tents; but if we except some celebrated relics, a small portion of the spoil was restored to the innocent and lawful owners. The joyful tidings were soon diffused over the Catholic world, and the monks of Italy could affirm and believe that three hundred and fifty, or three hundred and seventy-five, thousand of the Mahometans had been crushed by the hammer of Charles, while no more than fifteen hundred Christians were slain in the field of Tours. But this incredible tale is sufficiently disproved by the caution of the French general, who apprehended the snares and accidents of a pursuit, and dismissed his German allies to their native forests.&lt;br&gt;The inactivity of a conqueror betrays the loss of strength and blood, and the most cruel execution is inflicted, not in the ranks of battle, but on the backs of a flying enemy. Yet the victory of the Franks was complete and final; Aquitain was recovered by the arms of Eudes; the Arabs never resumed the conquest of Gaul, and they were soon driven beyond the Pyrenees by Charles Martel and his valiant race.
** Chapter LII

* '''In the profession of Christianity, the variety of national characters may be clearly distinguished'''. The natives of Syria and Egypt abandoned their lives to lazy and contemplative devotion; Rome again aspired to the dominion of the world; and the wit of the lively and loquacious Greeks was consumed in the disputes of metaphysical theology.
** Chapter LIV, part I

* Of human life, the most glorious or humble prospects are alike and soon bounded by the sepulchre.
** Chapter LVI, part IV

* From the paths of blood (and such is the history of nations) I cannot refuse to turn aside to gather some flowers of science or virtue.
** Chapter LVII, part I

* He possessed that vehemence of speech, which seldom fails to impart the persuasion of the soul.
** Chapter LVIII, part I

* But a law, however venerable be the sanction, cannot suddenly transform the temper of the times.
** Chapter LVIII, part I

* So familiar, and as it were so natural to man, is the practice of violence, that our indulgence allows the slightest provocation, the most disputable right, as a sufficient ground of national hostility.
** Chapter LVIII, part I

* A latent motive of affection or vanity might influence [[:w:Council of Clermont|the choice]] of [[:w:Pope Urban II|Urban]]: he was himself a native of France, a monk of Clugny, and the first of his countrymen who ascended the throne of St. Peter. The pope had illustrated his family and province; nor is there perhaps a more exquisite gratification than to revisit, in a conspicuous dignity, the humble and laborious scenes of our youth.
** Chapter LVIII, part I

* The soil is fruitful, and intersected with rivers; but it was then covered with morasses and forests, which spread to a boundless extent, whenever man has ceased to exercise his dominion over the earth.
** Chapter LVIII, part II

== Volume VI ==
* The sentiment of fear is nearly allied to that of hatred.
** Chapter LIX, part I

* The successors of St. Peter appear to have followed, rather than guided, the impulse of manners and prejudice; without much foresight of the seasons, or cultivation of the soil, they gathered the ripe and spontaneous fruits of the superstition of the times.
** Chapter LIX, part III

* From these [[:w:Morea|Latin princes of the xivth century]], Boccace, Chaucer, and Shakspeare, have borrowed [[:w:A Midsummer Night's Dream|their Theseus duke of Athens]]. An ignorant age transfers its own language and manners to the most distant times.
** Chapter LXII

* In the year 1238, the inhabitants of Gothia (Sweden) and Frise were prevented, by their fear of the Tartars, from sending, as usual, their ships to the herring fishery on the coast of England; and as there was no exportation, forty or fifty of these fish were sold for a shilling... It is whimsical enough, that the orders of a [[:w:Ögedei Khan|Mogul khan]], who reigned on the borders of China, should have lowered the price of herrings in the English market.
** Chapter LXIV

* By the Venetians, the use of [[:w:black powder|gunpowder]] was communicated without reproach to the sultans of Egypt and Persia, their allies against the Ottoman power; the secret was soon propagated to the extremities of Asia; and the advantage of the European was confined to his easy victories over the savages of the new world. '''If we contrast the rapid progress of this mischievous discovery with the slow and laborious advances of reason, science, and the arts of peace, a philosopher, according to his temper, will laugh or weep at the folly of mankind'''.
** Chapter LXV

* But no sooner had [[:w:Timur|he]] introduced himself into the city, under color of a truce, than he perfidiously violated the treaty... and animated his troops to chastise the posterity of those Syrians who had executed, or approved, the murder of the [[:w:Husayn bin Ali|grandson of Mahomet]]. A family which had given honorable burial to the head of Hosein, and a colony of artificers, whom he sent to labor at Samarcand, were alone reserved in the general massacre, and after a period of seven centuries, Damascus was reduced to ashes, because a Tartar was moved by religious zeal to avenge the blood of an Arab.
** Chapter LXV

* Since the reign of [[:w:Aurangzeb|Aurungzebe]], [[:w:Mughal Empire|their empire]] had been dissolved; their treasures of Delhi have been rifled by a [[:w:Nadir Shah|Persian robber]]; and the richest of their kingdoms is now possessed by a [[:w:British East India Company|company of Christian merchants]], of a remote island in the Northern Ocean.
** Chapter LXV

* The winds and waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators.
** Chapter LXVIII

* [[:w:Gennadius Scholarius|His]] defence, at Florence, of the same union, which he so furiously attacked at Constantinople, has tempted Leo Allatius... to divide him into two men; but Renaudot... has restored the identity of his person and the duplicity of his character.
** Chapter LXVIII

* 'When [[:w:Geoffrey of Anjou|he was master of Normandy]], the chapter of Seez presumed, without his consent, to proceed to the election of a bishop' upon which he ordered all of them, with the bishop elect, to be castrated, and made all their testicles be brought him in a platter.' Of the pain and danger they might justly complain; yet since they had vowed chastity he deprived them of a superfluous treasure.
** Chapter LXIX

* Vicissitudes of fortune, which spares neither man nor the proudest of his works, which buries empires and cities in a common grave.
** Chapter LXXI

* In the preceding volumes of this History, I have described the triumph of barbarism and religion.
** Chapter LXXI

* All that is human must retrograde if it does not advance.
** Chapter LXXI

== About ==
* &quot;Another damned fat book, Mr. Gibbon? Scribble, scribble, scribble, eh Mr. Gibbon?&quot;
** variously attributed to King George III or Henry, Duke of Gloucester, upon receiving a volume of Gibbon's book.

* I set out upon...Gibbon's ''Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire'' [and] was immediately dominated both by the story and the style....I devoured Gibbon. I rode triumphantly through it from end to end and enjoyed it all.
** [[Winston Churchill]], ''My Early Life: A Roving Commission'' (New York: Charles Scribner's Sons, 1958) ,also quoted in &quot;Winston Churchill: Sketch for a Portrait&quot; in [[w:George Lichtheim|George Lichtheim]],''Thoughts Among the Ruins: Collected essays on Europe and beyond''. (Transaction Publishers, 1973)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.ccel.org/g/gibbon/decline/home.html ''The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire''] from the Christian Classics Ethereal Library. Formatted into chapters for easy web reading.
* [http://www.gutenberg.org/catalog/world/authrec?fk_authors=375 ''The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire'']{{dead link}} author record at [[w:Project Gutenberg|Project Gutenberg]]. Based on the Rev. H.H. Milman edition of 1845.

{{DEFAULTSORT:History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, The}}
[[Category:Roman Empire]]
[[Category:Histories]]</text>
      <sha1>a08exnrnog7woeq8erow533954f972i</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Mulan (1998 film)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>7292</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943972</id>
      <parentid>3937997</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T15:04:22Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Caleblaw85</username>
        <id>2991627</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943972</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="76263" sha1="b7jjpnc1i455ih3hryyxx1fqzajvciy" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Mulan (1998 film)|Mulan]]''''' is a [[w:1998 in film|1998]] [[w:Disney|Disney]] film about a young maiden who secretly goes in her father's  place to join the army and becomes one of China's greatest heroines in the process. It is based on the Chinese legend of [[w:Hua Mulan|Hua Mulan]]. It was produced by [[w:Walt Disney Animation Studios|Walt Disney Feature Animation]] and released by [[w:Walt Disney Pictures|Walt Disney Pictures]].
:''Directed by [[w:Barry Cook|Barry Cook]] and [[w:Tony Bancroft|Tony Bancroft]]. Screenplay by [[w:Rita Hsiao|Rita Hsiao]], [[w:Chris Sanders|Chris Sanders]], [[w:Philip LaZebnik|Philip LaZebnik]], Raymond Singer and Eugenia Bostwick-Singer. Story by [[Robert D. San Souci]]. Songs by [[w:Matthew Wilder|Matthew Wilder]] and [[w:David Zippel|David Zippel]], Score Produced by [[Jerry Goldsmith]] and includes &quot;[[w:Reflection (song)|Reflection]]&quot; Written by Matthew Wilder and David Zippel, and performed by [[Christina Aguilera]].''

{{center|'''The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.'''}}

[[File:Mulan Logo Black.svg|thumb|Title card.]]
[[File:Acupuncture table; 'Opening of the points', Chinese woodcut Wellcome L0037852.jpg|thumb|&quot;My children never caused such trouble, they all became acupuncturists!&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Well, we can't ''all'' be acupuncturists.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;No! ''Your'' great-granddaughter had to be a '''''CROSS-DRESSER!'''''&quot;]]
[[File:The Great Wall of China at Jinshanling-edit.jpg|thumb|&quot;The Emperor will stop you!&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;''stop'' me? He ''invited'' me. By building his Wall, he challenged my strength. Well, I'm here to play his game. '''GO!''' Tell your Emperor to send his strongest armies. I'm ready.&quot;]]
[[File:Han bronze scale armor 38.JPG|thumb|&quot;Fa Zhou? ''The'' Fa Zhou?&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;I didn't know Fa Zhou had a son.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Um, H-He doesn't talk about me much.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;I can see why. The boy's an absolute lunatic!&quot;]]

== Fa Mulan ==
* Okay, how about this?
* Quiet and demure. Graceful. Polite. Delicate. Refined. Poised. Punctual.

== Captain Li Shang ==
* We've got a long way to go.
* Okay, gentlemen, thanks to your new friend Ping, you'll spend tonight picking up ''every single grain of rice.'' And tomorrow, the ''real'' work begins.

== Mushu ==
* Hey, dragon. ''Dragon''. Not lizard. I don't do that tongue thing.
* Alright, that's it! Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! ''[to Cri-kee]'' Make a note of this. Dishonor on ''YOU'', dishonor on your COW!

== Others ==
* '''Guard''': Now all of China knows you're here.
* '''Son''': I will serve the Emperor in my father's place.
* '''Ancestor Farmer''': Not to mention, they'll lose the farm.
* '''Fa Deng''': Yeah, thanks a lot.

== Dialogue ==
:''[First lines; The movie begins with Great Wall of China; one of Chinese guard is startled by Hayabusa the Falcon soaring over the Great Wall of China, and turns to see a salvo of grappling hooks]''
:'''Guard''': &lt;big&gt;'''''WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!! LIGHT THE SIGNAL!!'''''&lt;/big&gt; ''[runs to the tower and up the ladder as Hun Bald Man #1 and Hun Long Hair Man appear trying to stop him. Hun Bald Man #1 breaks the ladder with his sword just as Guard reaches the top. The guard picks up the torch to light the fire and sees Shan-Yu jump over the edge of the tower and looks at him across from the caldron. The guard throws the torch into the caldron lighting a large fire. Shan-Yu watches as each tower lights their caldrons one by one]'' Now all of China knows you're here.
:'''Shan-Yu''': ''[his first words; taking the flag and holding it over the fire and burns a nearby flag]'' Perfect.
:''[The next scene, General Li, the General of the Chinese Imperial Army, arrives at the Emperor's Palace]''
:'''General Li''': ''[his first words]'' Your Majesty, the Huns have crossed our Northern Border.
:'''Chi-Fu''': Impossible. No one can get through the Great Wall.
:'''General Li''': Shan Yu is leading them. We'll set up defenses around your palace immediately.
:'''The Emperor''': No. Send your troops to protect my people. Chi-Fu.
:'''Chi-Fu''': Yes, Your Highness?
:'''The Emperor''': Deliver conscription notices throughout all the provinces. Call up reserves and as many new recruits as possible.
:'''General Li''': Forgive me, Your Majesty, but I believe my troops can stop him.
:'''The Emperor''': I won't take any chances, General, a single grain of rice can tip the scale. One man may be the difference between victory and defeat.
:'''Fa Mulan''': Quiet and demure. Graceful. Polite. Delicate. Refined. Poised. ''[notes the answers on her right arm]'' Punctual. ''[rooster calling]'' Ai-yah! Little Brother? Little Brother? ''[Little Brother is a dog sleeping]'' There you are. Who's the smartest doggy in the world? Come on, smart boy. Can you help me with my chores today? ''[helps out Little Brother to start feeding the chickens and runs by draggin sack of feed]''
:'''Fa Zhou''': ''[praying the ancestors]'' Honorable ancestors, please help Mulan impress the matchmaker today. ''[Little Brother runs by dragging a sack of feed; chickens start pecking the grain left behind]'' Please, please help her.
:'''Fa Mulan''': ''[helps Little Brother a bone and chewing the bone with the stick]'' Father, I brought your - Whoa! ''[accidentally breaks a teacup]''
:'''Fa Zhou''': ''[holding a teapot with his cane]'' Mulan.
:'''Fa Mulan''': I brought a spare.
:'''Fa Zhou''': Mulan.
:'''Fa Mulan''': The doctor said 3 cups of tea in the morning...
:'''Fa Zhou''': Mulan.
:'''Fa Mulan''': ...and 3 at night.
:'''Fa Zhou''': Mulan, you should already be in town. We are counting on you to-
:'''Fa Mulan''': Uphold the family honor. Don't worry, Father. I won't let you down. Wish me luck! ''[runs off]''
:'''Fa Zhou''': Hurry! ''[Little Brother looks at him while chewing his bone]'' I'm going to pray some more.
:''[In town, Mulan's mother, Fa Li, is pacing outside a house impatient.]''
:'''Woman #1''': Fa Li, is your daughter here yet? The Matchmaker is not a patient woman.
:'''Fa Li''': Of all the days to be late. I should have prayed to the ancestors for luck.
:'''Granny Fa''': How lucky can they be? They're dead. Besides, I've got all the luck we'll need. ''[Holds up a wicker cage with a cricket inside.]'' This is your chance to prove yourself. ''[She closes her eyes and steps off the sidewalk.]''
:'''Fa Li''': Grandma, no!
:''[Granny Fa walks across the street; vehicles came crashing, but she emerges unharmed.'']
:''[SFX: chickens clucking]''
:'''Granny Fa''': Yep, this cricket's a lucky one! ''[Fa Li sighs.]''
:''[Mulan comes riding up on Khan, and hops off.]''
:'''Fa Mulan''': I'm here. ''[looks at her mother]'' What? But, Mama, I had to...
:'''Fa Li''': None of your excuses. Now, let's get you cleaned up.
:''[Beginning of &quot;Honor To Us All&quot;]''
:'''Woman #1''': ''[singing]'' This is what you give me to work with? / Well, honey, I've seen worse. / We're going to turn this sow's ear / Into a silk purse.
:'''Fa Mulan''': It's freezing.
:'''Fa Li''': It would've been warm, if you were here on time.
:'''Woman #1''': ''[singing]'' We'll have you, washed and dried / Primped and polished till you glow with pride / Just my recipe for instant bride / You'll bring honor to us all.
:'''Fa Li''': Mulan, what's this?
:'''Fa Mulan''': Uh ... notes ... in case I forget something.
:'''Granny Fa''': Hold this. ''[Hands Cri-Kee to Fa Li]'' We're going to need more luck than I thought.
:''[Mulan is getting her hair done up in a Chinese topknot.]''
:'''Woman #2''': ''[singing]'' Wait and see, when we're through
:'''Woman #3''': ''[singing]'' Boys will gladly go to war for you
:'''Woman #2''': ''[singing]'' With good fortune
:'''Woman #3''': ''[speaking]'' And a great hairdo
:'''Both''': ''[singing]'' You'll bring honor to us all.
:'''Chorus''': ''[singing]'' A girl can bring her family / Great honor in one way / By striking a good match / And this might be the day
:''[Now Mulan is getting dressed in a regal gown.]''
:'''Woman #4''': ''[speaking]''  Men want girls with good taste
:'''Woman #5''': ''[speaking]'' Calm
:'''Fa Li''': ''[speaking]'' Obedient
:'''Woman #5''': ''[singing]'' Who work fast-paced
:'''Fa Li''': ''[singing]'' With good breeding
:'''Woman #5''': ''[singing]'' And a tiny waist
:'''All''': ''[singing]'' You'll bring honor to us all.
:'''Chorus''': We all must serve our Emperor / Who guards us from the Huns / A man by bearing arms / A girl by bearing sons
:''[Mulan is now getting her makeup done.]''
:'''Woman #6 and Fa Li''': ''[singing, in a round]'' When we're through, / You can't fail / Like a lotus blossom, soft and pale / How could any fellow say, &quot;No sale&quot;? / You'll bring honor to us all!
:''[Fa Li places a flowered comb in Mulan's topknot.]''
:'''Fa Li''': There, you're ready.
:'''Granny Fa''': Not yet. An apple for serenity. A pendant for balance. ''[singing]'' Beads of jade for beauty / You must proudly show it / Now, add a cricket, just for luck, ''[Granny Fa places the cage with the cricket under the upper layer of Mulan's skirt]'' And even you can't blow it.
:'''Fa Mulan''': ''[singing]'' Ancestors, hear my plea, / Help me not to make a fool of me / And to not uproot my family tree / Keep my father standing tall. / Scarier than the Undertaker, / We are meeting our matchmaker!
:'''Chorus:''' ''[singing]'' Destiny, guard our girls, / Help our future as it fast unfurls / Please look kindly on these cultured pearls / Each a perfect porcelain doll...
:'''Chorus''': ''[singing]'' Please bring honor to us / Please bring honor to us / Please bring honor to us / Please bring honor to us / Please bring honor to us all!
:'''The Matchmaker''': ''[her first words]'' &quot;Fa Mulan.&quot;
:'''Fa Mulan''': Present.
:'''The Matchmaker''': ''[to herself, writes on clipboard]'' Speaking without permission.
:'''Fa Mulan''': Oops.
:'''Grandmother Fa''': ''[whispering to Fa Li]'' Who spit in her bean curd?
:''[Mulan walks into the Matchmaker's building with the Matchmaker following behind and closing the door]''
:'''The Matchmaker''': Hmm, too skinny. ''[Cri-Kee escapes from his cage. Mulan attempts to catch him]'' Hmph, not good for bearing sons. ''[Mulan puts Cri-Kee in her mouth when Matchmaker turns around to face her]'' Recite the final admonition.
:'''Fa Mulan''': ''[nodding and smiling]'' Mmm-Hmm.
:'''The Matchmaker''': Well?
:'''Fa Mulan''': ''[takes out fan and covers her mouth as she spits out Cri-Kee]'' Fulfill your duties calmly and ref- ''[looking at her arm with smeared writing]'' spectfully. Reflect before you snack- ''[looks at her arm again]'' act. ''[now rapidly]'' This shall bring you honor and glory. ''[fanning herself rapidly and sighing in relief]'' Huh.
:'''The Matchmaker''': ''[snatches the fan and looks at it on both sides]'' Hmmm. This way. ''[grabs Mulan's right arm pulling her along while smearing the writing and leaving some ink on her hand]'' Now, pour the tea. To please your future in-laws, you must demonstrate a sense of dignity ''[smears ink around her mouth. Mulan staring at her while pouring some tea onto the table. Then notices her mistake and pours the tea into the cup]'' and refinement.  You must also be poised. ''[Mulan notices Cri-kee in the tea-cup as the Matchmaker takes the cup]''
:'''Fa Mulan''':  Um, pardon me.
:'''The Matchmaker''': And silent! 
:'''Fa Mulan''': ''[begins to climb on table, reaching for the teacup]'' Could I just - take that back? One moment!
:''[They both begin tugging on the teacup, causing it to spill, and Crikee to jump inside the Matchmaker's dress]''
:'''The Matchmaker''': Why you clumsy-! ''[begins to leap around the room, due to Crikee being in her dress. She knocks over the furnace, accidentally sits on the coal in sizzles, and begins jumps around and screams even mores, Mulan attempts to help by fans her behind, causes it to burst into blue flames and crashes]''
:'''Grandmother Fa''': ''[to Fa Li]'' I think it's going well. Don't you?
:'''The Matchmaker''': ''[her last words]'' ''PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!!'' &lt;big&gt;'''''PUT IT OUT!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt; ''[Mulan throws the tea on her and puts out the fire. She bows, hands the teapot back to her and covers her face as she walks toward Fa Li and Grandma Fa. Cri-kee jumps back into his cage]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''You are a DISGRACE!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt; ''[angrily; temper tantrum, losing patience, throws down and smashes the teapot]'' You may look like a bride, but you will '''never''' bring your family honor!? ''[storms off]''

&lt;hr width = 50%&gt;
:''[Mulan walks through the gate with her home leading Khan, Mulan looks sorrowful, Fa Zhou sees his daughter and smiles. Mulan sees her father's smile. She covers her face with Khan's head and leads him to the water through. Mulan music playing a song [[w:Reflection (song)|Reflection]]]''
:'''Fa Mulan''': ''[singing]'' Look at me / I will never pass for a perfect bride / Or a perfect daughter / Can it be / I'm not meant to play this part? / Now I see / That if I were to truly / To be myself / I would break my family's heart...| Who is that girl I see / Staring straight / Back at me? / Why is my reflection someone / I don't know? / Somehow I cannot hide / Who I am / Though I've tried / When will my reflection show / Who I am inside? / When will my reflection show / Who I am inside? ''[song fades, Mulan sits on the bench under the blossom tree. Fa Zhou approaches and clears throat. Mulan sees him approaching and turns around. Fa Zhou sits down beside Mulan]''
:'''Fa Zhou''': My, my, what beautiful blossoms we have this year. ''[looking up into the blossom tree]'' But look, this one's late. But, I'll bet that when it blooms, it will be the most beautiful of all. ''[Mulan and Fa Zhou share smiles. Drums start pounding announcing the arrival of Chi Fu and 2 guards on horseback]''
:'''Fa Mulan''': What is it? ''[Fa Zhou gets up and walks to the entrance of their house with Mulan following]''
:'''Fa Li''': Mulan, stay inside. ''[Grandmother Fa clears her throat catched Mulan's attention with Mulan spies the railing near the wall and climbs up to watch over the roof]''
:'''Chi-Fu''': Citizens, I bring a proclamation from the Imperial City. The Huns have invaded China. By order of the Emperor, one man from every family must serve in the Imperial Army. ''[Reading from list]'' The Hsiao Family, the Yi Family.
:'''Son''': I will serve the Emperor in my father's place.
:'''Chi-Fu''': The Fa Family.
:'''Fa Mulan''': ''[horrified]'' No.
:'''Fa Zhou''': ''[walks over to Chi Fu]'' I am ready to serve the Emperor.
:'''Fa Mulan''': Father, you can't go!!!
:'''Fa Zhou''': Mulan...
:'''Fa Mulan''': Please, sir, my father has already fought bravely, and-
:'''Chi-Fu''': Silence!!!! ''[to Fa Zhou]'' You would do well to teach your daughter to hold her tongue in a man's presence.
:'''Fa Zhou''': ''[disappointingly]'' Mulan, you dishonor me.
:'''Chi-Fu''': Report tomorrow at the Wu Zhong Camp. ''[hands Fa Zhou a scroll]''
:'''Fa Zhou''': Yes, sir.
:'''Chi-Fu''': ''[continues to read]'' The Chu Family, the Chang Family, the Yong Family.

&lt;hr width = 50%&gt;
:''[At dinner, Mulan pours the tea, then angrily sets her cup down]''
:'''Fa Mulan''': You shouldn't have to go!
:'''Fa Li''': Mulan...
:'''Fa Mulan''': There are plenty of young men to fight for China.
:'''Fa Zhou''': It is an honor to protect my country and my family.
:'''Fa Mulan''': So you'll die for honor.
:'''Fa Zhou''': I will die doing what's right.
:'''Fa Mulan''': But if you-
:'''Fa Zhou''': ''[losing control of his rage and yelling at Mulan]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''I know my place!'''''&lt;/big&gt; It is time you learned yours.
:''[Mulan gasps softly at Fa Zhou's words for a moment, then runs outside crying, and Fa Zhou sits back down to finish his dinner. Mulan is sitting in a statue of a dragon, crying. It is raining. Through the window of her house, she can see her mother and father talking. Fa Zhou picks up the candle and blows it out. Mulan thinks for a minute, then makes her decision.]''
:''[Mulan walks into the Family Temple and lights an incense stick, placing it in a hanging statue of a small dragon. She runs into her parent's room, taking the scroll and leaving her hair comb. Taking her father's sword, she cuts her hair short and puts on her father's armor. Going out to the stable, she mounts Khan and sets off for the army.]''
:''[The eyes of a statue in the temple flash, and Granny Fa wakes up and walking into Fa Li and Fa Zhou's bedroom]''
:'''Grandmother Fa''': Mulan is gone!
:'''Fa Zhou''': What? ''[looks at Mulan's flower comb]'' It can't be. ''[finds his closet empty, then runs outside and calling out]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''MULAN!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt; ''[stumbles while walking because of his leg injury]'' No.
:'''Fa Li''': You must go after her. She could be killed.
:'''Fa Zhou''': If I reveal her...she ''will'' be.
:'''Grandmother Fa''': ''[to herself]'' Ancestors, hear our prayer. Watch over Mulan.

&lt;hr width = 50%&gt;
:''[In the Family Temple, the characters on a tombstone light up blue, and they turn into First Ancestor Fa]''
:'''First Ancestor Fa''': ''[motioning to a bronze dragon]'' Mushu, awaken. 
:''[The statue shakes and smokes, and big Mushu emerges on the floor]''
:'''Mushu''': ''[rising from the smoke arms stretched out]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;span
style=color:red;&gt;'''''I LIIIIIVE!!!!!!!'''''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; So, tell me, what mortal need my protection, Great Ancestor. You just say the word, and I'm there.
:'''First Ancestor Fa''': Mushu.
:'''Mushu''': And let me say something, anyone's who foolish to threaten our family- vengeance will be &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''MIIIIINE!!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; Grrrrrr... arrgh...
:'''First Ancestor Fa''': ''[losing control of his rage and yelling at Mushu]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''MUSHU!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''These'' are the family guardians. They...
:'''Mushu''': Protect the family.
:'''First Ancestor Fa''': And ''you'', O Demoted One?
:'''Mushu''': I...ring the gong.
:'''First Ancestor Fa''': That's right. Now wake up the ancestors.
:'''Mushu''': ''[exasperated]'' One family reunion, coming right up. ''[bangs the gong]'' Okay, people, people, look alive, let's go, come on, get up, let's move it, rise and shine, y'all way past the beauty sleep thing, trust me.
:''[The rest of the ancestors materialize]''
:'''Ancestor Woman #1''': I knew it, ''I'' knew it. That Mulan was a ''troublemaker'' from the start.
:'''Ancestor Man #1''': Don't look at me, she got it from ''your'' side of the family.
:'''Ancestor Woman #2''': She's just trying to help her father.
:'''Ancestor Man #2''': But if she's discovered, Fa Zhou will be forever shamed. Dishonor will come to the family. Traditional values will disintegrate!
:'''Ancestor Farmer''': Not to mention, they'll lose the farm.
:'''Ancestor Woman #1''': My children never caused such trouble, they all became acupuncturists.
:'''Ancestor Man #1''': Well, we can't ''all'' be acupuncturists.
:'''Older Lady Ancestor''': No, ''your'' great-granddaughter had to be a &lt;big&gt;'''''CROSS-DRESSER!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[The ancestors continue arguing]''
:'''Ancestor Man #2''': Let a guardian bring her back. 
:'''Ancestor Man #1''': Yes, Awaken the most cunning. 
:'''Ancestor Man #3''': No, the swiftest.
:'''Ancestor Woman #3''': No, send the wisest.
:'''First Ancestor Fa''': &lt;big&gt;'''''SILENCE!'''''&lt;/big&gt; We must send the most powerful of all.
:'''Mushu''': ''[laughs]'' Okay, okay, I get the drift, I'll go. ''[the ancestors look at him and laugh uproariously]'' Well, y'all don't think I can do it? Watch this here. ''[blows a tiny flame]'' Ah-hah! Jump back, I'm pretty hot, huh? Don't make me have to singe nobody to prove no point.
:'''First Ancestor Fa''': You ''had'' your chance to protect the Fa Family.
:'''Older Lady Ancestor''': Your misguidance led Fa Deng to disaster.
:'''Fa Deng''': Yeah, thanks a lot.
:'''Mushu''': And your point is?
:'''First Ancestor Fa''': &lt;big&gt;'''The point is'''&lt;/big&gt; we will be sending a real dragon to retrieve Mulan.
:'''Mushu''': What, What?! &lt;big&gt;'''''I'M A REAL DRAGON!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''First Ancestor Fa''': ''[outraged]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF THIS SPOT!'''''&lt;/big&gt; ''[grabs Mushu and throws him outside]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''NOW, AWAKEN THE GREAT STONE DRAGON!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Mushu''': So you'll get back to me on the job thing? ''[First Ancestor Fa angrily throws Mushu's gong and hits him in the face]'' Just one chance, is that too much ask? It's mean not like it'll kill ya. ''[to the dragon statue]'' Yo, rocky wake up! Ya gotta go fetch Mulan! ''[the dragon statue is not waking, walks around, and starts shaking stick to fetch like a dog]'' Come on, boy. Go get her. Go on. ''[whistling]'' Come on. ''[Mushu angrily climbs up on the statue, dragging the gong]'' Grr. Grr. Hello? '''''HELLOOO?!''''' Hello! ''[accidentally hits the ear of the dragon with a gong, and it falls off]'' Uh-oh. ''[the statue falls apart]'' Uh, Stony? Stony? Oh, man, they're gonna kill me.
:'''First Ancestor Fa''': Great stone dragon, have you awakened?
:'''Mushu''': ''[using the statue's head]'' Uh, yes, I just woke up! I am the Great Stone Dragon! Good Morning! I will go forth and fetch Mulan! Did I mention that I was the Great Stone Dragon?
:'''First Ancestor Fa''': Go! The fate of the Fa family rests in your claws.
:'''Mushu''': Don't even worry about it! I will not lose face! ''[loses his balance and tumbles down the hill, the dragon head landings on top of him]'' Oh, my elbow. Oh, oh. I know I twisted somethin'. ''[lifts the head off]'' That's just great, now what? I'm doomed and all 'cause Miss Man decided to take a little drag show on the road. ''[Cri-Kee appears chirping]'' Go get her? What's the matter with you? After this Great Stone, Humpty-Dumpty mess, I'd have to bring her home with a medal to get back in the temple. ''[gasps]'' Wait a minute! ''[happily]'' that's it! I'll make Mulan a war hero, and they'll be ''begging'' me to come back to work. That's the master plan! Oh, you've done it now, man. ''[Cri-Kee follows Mushu]'' What makes you think you're coming? ''[Cri-Kee chirps]'' You're lucky? Do I look like a sucker to you? ''[Cri-Kee chirps again]'' What you mean a loser? How 'bout I pop one of your antennas off, and throw it across the yard then who's the loser, me or you?
:'''Hun Soldier''': Imperial Scouts.
:''[The Huns' leader turns around and lowers his hood]''
:'''Scout 1''': Shan-Yu.
:'''Shan-Yu''': Nice work, gentlemen. You've found the Hun Army.
:''[The Huns laugh]''
:'''Scout 2''': The Emperor will stop you!
:'''Shan-Yu''': ''Stop'' me? He ''invited'' me. ''[grabs Scout 2's throat]'' By building his Wall, he challenged my strength. Well, I'm here to play his game. GO! ''[throws Scout 2 back on the ground]'' Tell your Emperor to send his strongest armies. I'm ready. ''[the two Scouts get up and run]'' How many men does it take to deliver a message?
:'''Hun Archer''': ''[draws an arrow and taking aim]'' One.

&lt;hr width = 50%&gt;
:'''Fa Mulan''': Okay, how about this? ''[clear throat; Mulan speaking in her 'man' voice]'' Excuse me. Where do I sign in? Aha, I see you have a sword. I have one, too. They're very manly and tough. ''[accidentally drops sword, Khan neighs laughing and is hit with a shoe]'' I'm ''working'' on it. Oh, who am I fooling? It's going to take a miracle to get me into the army.
:'''Mushu''': ''[his shadow appears surrounded by flames]'' Did I hear someone ask for a ''miracle?!'' Let me hear you say ''[mighty roars]'' '''''AAAH!'''''
:'''Fa Mulan''': ''[in fear]'' '''''AAH!'''''
:'''Mushu''': That's close enough.
:'''Fa Mulan''': A ghost.
:'''Mushu''': Get ready, Mulan. Your serpentine salvation is at hand! For I have been sent by your ancestors...to guide you through your masquerade! ''[to Cri-kee]'' Come on, you're gonna stay, you're gonna work. ''[as behind the rocks with the fire]'' So heed my word cause if the army finds out you're a girl, the penalty is &lt;big&gt;'''''DEATH!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Fa Mulan''': Who are you?
:'''Mushu''': Who am I? Who am ''I?!'' I am the guardian of lost souls! I am the powerful, the pleasurable, the indestructible Mushu. ''[comes out from behind the rocks]'' I'm pretty hot, huh?
:''[Khan immediately tramples him]''
:'''Fa Mulan''': Uh, my ancestors sent a little lizard to help me?
:'''Mushu''': Hey, dragon. ''Dragon''. Not lizard. I don't do that tongue thing. ''[sticks out his tongue]''
:'''Fa Mulan''': You're...um...
:'''Mushu''': Intimidating? Awe-inspiring?
:'''Fa Mulan''': Tiny.
:'''Mushu''': Of course. I'm travel-size for your convenience. If I was my ''real'' size, your cow here would die of fright. ''[Khan snaps at him]'' Down, Bessie. My powers are beyond your mortal imagination. For instance, my eyes can see ''straight'' through your armor. ''[Mulan slaps him]'' Alright, that's it! Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! ''[to Cri-kee]'' Make a note of this. Dishonor on ''YOU'', dishonor on your COW, dis-
:'''Fa Mulan''': Stop, I'm sorry. It's just - I've never done this before.
:'''Mushu''': Then you're gonna have to ''trust'' me. And don't you slap me no more. We clear on that? All right. Okie-Dokie, let's get this show on the road. Cri-kee, get the bags. ''[to Khan]'' Let's move it, heifer.

&lt;hr width = 50%&gt;
:''[Mulan arrives at the army camp]''
:'''Mushu''': Okay, this is it. Time to show 'em your man walk. Shoulders back, chest high, feet apart, head up and strut. Two, three. Break it down. Hup, two, three. And work it. Beautiful, isn't it?
:'''Fa Mulan''': They're disgusting.
:'''Mushu''': No, they're men. And you're gonna have to act just like them, so pay attention.
:'''Recruit''': Look, this tattoo will protect me from harm.
:'''Yao''': Hmm. ''[punches the recruit]''
:'''Ling''': ''[laughing]'' I hope you can get your money back.
:'''Fa Mulan''': ''[whispers to Mushu]'' I don't think I can do this.
:'''Mushu''': It's all attitude. Be tough, like this guy here.
:'''Yao''': ''[spits]'' What are you looking at?
:'''Mushu''': Punch him. It's how men say hello.
:''[Mulan punches Yao, he slams into Chien Po]''
:'''Chien-Po''': Oh, Yao. You've made a friend.
:'''Mushu''': Good. Now slap him behind. They like that.
:''[Mulan does so]''
:'''Yao''': Whoa ho ho! I'm gonna hit you so hard, it'll make your ''ancestors'' dizzy!
:'''Chien Po''': ''[picks up Yao]'' Yao, relax and chant with me. ''[Yao growls while Chien-Po is chanting]'' Namu Amidu Buddha.
:'''Yao''': ''[chanting]'' Namunamitofudah eh bleh bleh bleh bleh.
:'''Chien-Po''': Feel better?
:'''Yao''': Yeah. Ah, you ain't worth my time, ''[whispers]'' chicken boy.
:'''Mushu''': ''[yelling at Yao]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''&quot;CHICKEN BOY&quot;?! SAY THAT TO MY FACE, YOU LIMP NOODLE!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Yao''': ''[insulted, he grabs Mulan and attempts to punch her and he misses accidentally punching Ling]'' Oh. Sorry, Ling. Hey! ''[grabs her leg, but Ling kick Yao to Chien Po and 3 men start fight and Mulan ran away]'' Whoa! You're dead!
:'''Ling''': Oh, there he goes!
:''[Mulan runs off, there chasing after in the tent there chickens, however, Chien Po push his stomach to his men like Bowling]''
:'''Fa Mulan''': Hey, guys.
:''[Chi-Fu is seen with General Li and Shang at the military camp]''
:'''General Li''': The Huns have struck here, here and here. I will take the main troops up to the Tung Shao Pass, and stop Shan-Yu before he destroys this village.
:'''Chi-Fu''': Excellent strategy, sir. I do love surprises. ''[laughs]''
:'''General Li''': You will stay and train the new recruits. When Chi-Fu believes you're ready, you will join us, Captain. ''[gives his sword to Shang]''
:'''Captain Li Shang''': Captain?
:'''Chi-Fu''': Huh. This is an enormous responsibility, General. Perhaps a soldier with more experience.
:'''General Li''': Number one in this class, extensive knowledge of training techniques, an &quot;impressive military lineage.&quot; I believe Li Shang will do an excellent job.
:'''Captain Li Shang''': Oh, I will, I won't let you down. This is I mean, yes sir.
:'''General Li''': Very good then. We'll toast China's victory at the imperial city. I'll expect a full report in three weeks.
:'''Chi-Fu''': And I won't leave anything out. ''[walk out of the tent]''
:'''Captain Li Shang''': ''[to himself]'' Captain Li Shang. Leader of China's finest troops. No, The greatest troops of all time. ''[exits his tent to find the troops fighting each other; we see one soldier with a black eye salute, then faint]''
:'''Chi-Fu''': Most impressive.
:'''General Li''': ''[his last words; mounts his horse]'' Good luck, Captain. Yah! ''[leaving away with the troops of the military lineage]''
:'''Captain Li Shang''': ''[to himself]'' Good luck, father.
:''[While the troops are still fighting each other]''
:'''Chi-Fu''': ''[to Shang]'' Day one.
:'''Captain Li Shang''': ''[to the troops]'' Soldiers!
:''[The soldiers stops fighting; Yao punches a man one time]''
:'''Soldiers''': ''[all point to Mulan, disguised]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''HE STARTED IT!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Shang walks to Mulan]''
:'''Captain Li Shang''': I don't need anyone causing trouble in my camp.
:'''Fa Mulan''': Sorry... ''[in her 'man' voice]'' Uhh...I mean, uh, sorry you had to see that, but you know how it is when you get those, uh, manly urges, and you just gotta kill someone...fix things, uh, cook outdoors...
:'''Captain Li Shang''': What's your name?
:'''Fa Mulan''': Uh...I, I, uh...
:'''Chi-Fu''': Your commanding officer just asked you a ''question.''
:'''Fa Mulan''': Uh, I've got a name. And it's a boy's name too.
:'''Mushu''': ''[whispering in Mulan's ear]'' Ling. How 'bout Ling?
:'''Fa Mulan''': His name is Ling.
:'''Captain Li Shang''': I didn't ask for ''his'' name. I asked for ''yours!''
:'''Mushu''': Try, uh, Ah Chu.
:'''Fa Mulan''': Ah Chu.
:'''Captain Li Shang''': Ah Chu?
:'''Mushu''': Gesundheit. ''[chuckles]'' I kill myself.
:'''Fa Mulan''': Mushu.
:'''Captain Li Shang''': Mushu?
:'''Fa Mulan''': No
:'''Captain Li Shang''': Then ''what is it?!''
:'''Mushu''': Ping. Ping was my best friend growin' up.
:'''Fa Mulan''': It's Ping.
:'''Captain Li Shang''': Ping?
:'''Mushu''': Of course, Ping did steal my girl-
:'''Fa Mulan''': ''[muffles Mushu]'' Yes, my name is Ping.
:'''Captain Li Shang''': Let me see your conscription notice. ''[He reads it]'' Fa Zhou? ''The'' Fa Zhou?
:'''Chi-Fu''': I didn't know Fa Zhou had a son.
:'''Fa Mulan''': He doesn't talk about me very much. ''[tries to spit]''
:'''Chi-Fu''': I can see why. The boy's an absolute lunatic.
:''[All the soldiers laugh]''
:'''Captain Li Shang''': Okay, gentlemen, ''[they stop laughing]'' thanks to your new friend Ping, you'll spend tonight picking up ''every single grain of rice.'' And tomorrow, the ''real'' work begins.
:''[The soldiers growl in anger]''
:'''Mushu''': ''[to Mulan]'' You know, we'll have to work on your people skills.   

&lt;hr width = 50%&gt;
:'''Mushu''': All right, rise and shine, '''[[Sleeping Beauty (1959 film)|Sleeping Beauty]]'''. Come on. Hup, hup, hup. ''[takes the blanket]'' Get your clothes on, get ready, got breakfast for ya. Look, you get ''porridge.'' ''[it has a fried-eggs-and-bacon smile on the bowl]'' And it's happy to see you. ''[Cri-Kee pops up from the porridge, Mushu tosses him out]'' Hey, get outta there. You will make people ''sick.''
:'''Fa Mulan''': Am I late?
:'''Mushu''': ''[stuffing breakfast into Mulan's mouth]'' No time to talk. Now remember, it's your first day of trainin', so listen to your teacher and no fightin', play nice with the other kids, unless, of course, one of the other kids wanna fight, then you have to kick the other kid's butts.
:'''Fa Mulan''': ''[muffled]'' But, I don't wanna kick the other kid's butts.
:'''Mushu''': Don't talk with your mouth full. Now let's see your war face. ''[Mulan looks at him with mouth full of porridge]'' Ooh, I think my bunny slippers just ran for cover. &lt;big&gt;'''''COME ON, SCARE ME, GIRL?!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Fa Mulan''': &lt;big&gt;'''''RARRRR!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Mushu''': There, That's my tough-lookin' warrior! That's my talkin' about! Now get out there and make me proud! ''[to Khan comes out into the tent]'' What do you mean the troops just left?
:'''Fa Mulan''': They what?!
:''[Khan step away the tent, Mulan out the tent and took shoe on to ran off the men]''
:'''Mushu''': Wait, you forgot your sword! ''[to himself]'' My little baby, off to destroy people. ''[whimpers]''
:''[Outside the tents]''
:'''Chi-Fu''': Order. People, order.
:'''Soldier''': I'll have a pan-fried noodle.
:'''Chien-Po''': Ooh, ooh, sweet-and-pungent shrimp.
:'''Soldier''': Moo goo gai pan.
:'''Chi-Fu''': That's not funny.
:'''Ling''': Looks like our new friend slept in this morning. ''[to Mulan]'' Hello, Ping. Are ya hungry?
:'''Yao''': Yeah, 'cause I owe you a ''knuckle sandwich!''
:'''Captain Li Shang''': Soldiers! ''[all assemble into line]'' You will assemble swiftly and silently every morning. Anyone who act otherwise, will answer to me.
:'''Yao''': ''[sotto voice]'' Ooh, tough guy.
:'''Captain Li Shang''': Yao. ''[the soldiers step back, minus Yao; the Captain shoots up the arrow into the top of a pole]'' Thank you for volunteering. Retrieve the arrow.
:'''Yao''': I'll get that ''arrow'', pretty boy, and I'll do it with my shirt ''on''. ''[starts to climb the pole]''
:'''Captain Li Shang''': One moment. You seem to be missing something. ''[Chi-Fu comes forward struggling under the weight of two thick bronze disks, which Shang hangs on Yao's wrists]'' This - represents discipline, and this - represents strength. You need both to reach the arrow. ''[Yao, Ling, Chien Po, and Mulan fail to recover the Arrow.]''
:'''Captain Li Shang''': ''[to himself]'' We've got a long way to go. ''[passes training staffs to everyone]''
:''[Donny Osmond music playing a song [[w:I'll Make a Man Out of You|I'll Make a Man Out of You]]]''
:'''Captain Li Shang''': ''[singing]'' Let's get down to business to defeat the Huns.
:'''Recruits''': Hua.
:'''Captain Li Shang''': ''[singing]'' Did they send me daughters when I asked for sons? / You're the saddest bunch I ever met / But you can bet before we're through / Mister, I'll make a man out of you...| Tranquil as a forest / But on fire within / Once you find your center, you are sure to win / You're a spineless, pale pathetic lot and you haven't got a clue / Somehow I'll make a man out of you.
:'''Chien-Po''': ''[singing]'' I'm never gonna catch my breath
:'''Yao''': ''[singing]'' Say goodbye to those who knew me.
:'''Ling''': ''[singing]'' Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting gym.
:'''Mushu''': ''[singing]'' This guy's got 'em scared to death.
:'''Fa Mulan''': ''[singing]'' Hope he doesn't see right through me.
:'''Chien-Po''': ''[singing]'' Now I really wish that I knew how to swim!
:'''Captain Li Shang and Soldiers''': ''[singing]'' ''Be a man,'' we must be swift as a coursing river / ''Be a man,'' with all the force of a great typhoon / ''Be a man,'' with all the strength of a raging fire / Mysterious as the dark side of the moon.
:'''Captain Li Shang''': ''[singing]'' Time is racing toward us till the Huns arrive / Heed my every order and you might survive / You're unsuited for the rage of war / So pack up, go home, you're through / How could I make a man out of you?
:'''Captain Li Shang and Soldiers''': ''[singing]'' ''Be a man,'' we must be swift as a coursing river / ''Be a man,'' with all the force of a great typhoon / ''Be a man,'' with all the strength of a raging fire / Mysterious as the dark side of the moon...| ''Be a man,'' we must be swift as a coursing river / ''Be a man,'' with all the force of a great typhoon / ''Be a man,'' with all the strength of a raging fire / Mysterious as the dark side of the moon...| ''[song fades]''
:''[Shan-Yu cutting the top of tree, while he seen the falcon brings him a little girl's doll from the village, sniffing doll, Shan-Yu and Huns gets a doll from his falcon]''
:'''Shan-Yu''': ''[tosses the doll  to his soldiers]'' What do you see?
:'''Hun Twin 1''': Black pine, from the high mountains.
:'''Hun Twin 2''': White horse hair, Imperial stallions.
:'''Hun 3''': ''[sniffs doll]'' Sulphur, from cannons.
:'''Shan-Yu''': This doll came from a village in the Tung Shao Pass, where the Imperial Army's waiting for us.
:'''Hun Archer''': We can avoid them easily.
:'''Shan-Yu''': No. The quickest way to the Emperor is through that pass. Besides, the little girl will be missing her doll. We should return it to her.

&lt;hr width = 50%&gt;
:'''Mushu''': This is such a bad idea. What if somebody sees you?
:'''Fa Mulan''': Just because I look like a man doesn't mean I have to smell like one.
:'''Mushu''': So a couple of guys don't rinse out their socks. Picky, picky, picky. Well, myself, I kind of like that cornchip smell.
:'''Fa Mulan''': ''[splash to Mushu, she takes a bathing and rinse her hair in the lake]'' Ahhh.
:'''Mushu''': All right. That's enough. Get out before you get all pruny and stuff.
:'''Fa Mulan''': Mushu, if you're so worried, go stand watch.
:'''Mushu''': Yeah, yeah. ''[talking and acting like a girl]'' Stand watch, Mushu, while I blow our secret with my stupid girl habits. Pfft, Hygiene. 
:'''Yao''': Me first! Me first! Me first! 
:'''Mushu''': ''[seeing Yao, Ling, and Chien Po run to the lake where Mulan is bathing]'' Oh, we're ''doomed!'' There are a couple things I ''know'' they're bound to notice!
:''[Mulan seeing Yao, Ling, in the lake, at the waterhole, and Chien Po got big toe in the water, but then he jumps in the lake and waves to them, there always plays splash out to Mulan, the frog jumps out the lily pad in the lake]''
:'''Yao''': Hey, Ping.
:'''Fa Mulan''': Oh, hi, guys. I didn't know you were here. I was just washing, so now I'm clean, and I'm gonna go. Bye-bye.
:'''Ling''': Come back here. I knew we were jerks to you before, so let's start over. Hi, I'm Ling.
:'''Chien-Po''': And I'm Chien-Po.
:'''Fa Mulan''': Hello, Chien-Po.
:'''Yao''': ''[standing on a rock]'' And I am Yao, king of the rock! And there's nothin' you girls can do about it!
:'''Ling''': Oh, yeah? Well, I think Ping and I can take you.
:'''Fa Mulan''': I really don't want to take him anywhere.
:'''Ling''': Ping, we have to fight.
:'''Fa Mulan''': No, we don't. We could just...close our eyes...and - swim around...
:'''Ling''':  Come on, don't be such a- ''[Mushu bites Ling on each leg]'' Ouch! Something bit me.
:'''Mushu''': Ugh! Ach! What a nasty flavor.
:'''Ling''': '''''SNAKE!''''' ''[he and Chien Po scramble onto the rock with Yao]''
:'''Yao''': ''OOOH, SNAKE!''
:'''Chien-Po''': ''SNAKE!'' '''''SNAKE!'''''
:''[Mulan sneaks away, she whistling to Khan, and Khan bring Mulan and Mushu comes out the lake while done bathing]''
:'''Ling''': Some king of the rock. ''[Yao shoves him off the rock and onto the water]''
:'''Fa Mulan''': Boy, that was close.
:'''Mushu''': No. ''[brushes his teeth with the toothpaste in his mouth]'' That was vile. You owe me big! ''[spits it out and squirts more toothpaste in his mouth and brushes again]''
:'''Fa Mulan''': I never want to see another naked man again.
:''[A big group of naked men run past them, laughing]''
:'''Mushu''': Hey, don't look at me, I ain't biting no more butts.

&lt;hr width = 50%&gt;
:''[Shang and Chi-Fu are in the tent]''
:'''Chi-Fu''': You think troops are ready to fight? Ha. They would ''not'' last a minute against the Huns.
:'''Captain Li Shang''': They completed their training.
:'''Chi-Fu''': Those boys are no more fit to be soldiers than you are to be Captain. Once the General reads my report, your troops will never see battle.
:'''Mushu''': ''[listening outside with Cri-Kee]'' Oh, no, you don't. I've worked ''too'' hard to get Mulan into this war. This guy's messin' with my plan.
:'''Captain Li Shang''': We're not finished!
:'''Chi-Fu''': Be careful, Captain. The General may be your father, but ''I'' am the Emperor's counsel. And, oh, by the way, I got that job on my ''own''. You're dismissed.
:''[Shang walks out of his tent and passes Mulan]''
:'''Fa Mulan''': Hey. I'll hold him, and you punch. ''[chuckles]'' Or not. For what it's worth, I think you're a great captain.
:''[Shang leaves]''
:'''Mushu''': I saw that.
:'''Fa Mulan''': What?
:'''Mushu''': ''[about Li Shang]'' You ''like'' him, don't you?
:'''Fa Mulan''': ''[denying]'' No.
:'''Mushu''': Yeah, right, sure. ''[angrily points to the tent]'' ''Go to your tent!'' ''[Mulan smiles and walks away; to Cri-Kee]'' I think it's time we took this war into our own hands. ''[they rush into the tent, as Chi-Fu humming strolls out, dressed in a towel, a hat, a slippers, and uses long handle bath brush. Switch scenes; Cri-Kee types out a letter, like a typewriter]'' Okay, let me see what you got. ''[reads]'' &quot;From General Li. Dear Son, we're waiting  for the Huns at the pass. It would mean a lot if you'd come and back us up.&quot; Hmm, that's great. Except that you forgot: And since we're out of potpourri, perhaps you wouldn't mind bringing up some. &lt;big&gt;'''''HELLO!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;  This is the army! Make it sound more urgent, please! You know what I'm talkin' about?! ''[Cri-Kee chirps, salutes and hops around typing another letter]'' That's better, much better, let's go! ''[to Khan, drinking water]'' Khaney, baby. Hey, we need a ride.
:''[Khan squirts Mushu off, and Cri-Kee slowly backs off]''
:'''Chi-Fu''': ''[storming from the lake with one slipper missing]'' Insubordinate ruffians... ''[shouts angrily]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''YOU MEN OWE ME A NEW PAIR OF SLIPPERS!'''''&lt;/big&gt; ''[muttering furiously]'' And I do not squeal like a girl... ''[suddenly squeals like a girl as the panda eats his other slipper]''
:'''Mushu''': ''[on the panda, disguised as a messenger by using a puppet]'' Urgent news from the General. ''[Chi-Fu eyes the panda warily]'' What's the matter? Never seen a black-and-white before?
:'''Chi-Fu''': ''[takes the message, but stares at the puppet suspiciously]'' Who are you?
:'''Mushu''': Excuse me?! I think the question is &quot;who&quot; are &quot;you&quot;?! WE'RE IN A ''WAR'', man! There's no time for stupid questions. I should have your hat for that; snatch it right off your head. But I'm feeling gracious today, so, carry on before I report you.
:''[Chi-Fu reads the message and looks around for the messenger, but the panda has climbed a tree. He reads the message again, and became shocked]''
:'''Chi-Fu''': ''[rushes back to the tent]'' Captain! Urgent news from the General! We're needed at the front!
:'''Mushu''': Pack your bags, Cri-kee. We're moving out.
:'''Chorus''': ''[singing]'' For a long time we've been marching off to battle.
:'''Yao''': ''[singing]'' In our thundering herd, we feel a lot like cattle.
:'''Chorus''': ''[singing]'' Like the pounding beat, our aching feet aren't easy to ignore.
:'''Ling''': ''[singing]'' Hey, think of instead a girl worth fighting ''for!''
:'''Mulan''': Huh?
:'''Ling''': ''[singing]'' That's what I said: a girl worth fighting for / I want her paler than the moon with eyes that shine like stars.
:'''Yao''': ''[singing]'' My girl will marvel at my strength, adore my battle scars!
:'''Chien-Po''': ''[singing]'' I couldn't care less what she'll wear or what she looks like. It all depends on what she cooks like beef, pork, chicken, mmm...
:'''Yao''': ''[singing]'' Bet the local girls thought you were quite the charmer!
:'''Ling''': ''[singing]'' And I bet the ladies love a man in armor!
:'''Chorus''': ''[singing]'' You can guess what we have missed the most since we went off to war!
:'''Ling''': ''[singing]'' What do we want?
:'''Chorus''': ''[singing]'' A girl worth fighting for!
:'''Yao''': ''[singing]'' My girl will think I have no flaws!
:'''Chien-Po''': ''[singing]'' That I'm a major find!
:'''Fa Mulan''': ''[singing]'' How 'bout a girl who's got a brain, who always speaks her mind?
:'''Yao, Chien-Po and Ling''': Nah!
:'''Ling''': ''[singing]'' My manly ways and turn of phrase and sure to thrill her!
:'''Yao''': ''[singing]'' He thinks he's such a lady-killer!
:'''Chi-Fu''': ''[singing]'' I've a girl back home who's unlike any other!
:'''Yao''': ''[singing]'' Yeah, the only girl who'd love him is his mother!
:'''Chorus''': ''[singing]'' But when we come home, in victory, they'll line up at the door!
:'''Ling''': ''[singing]'' What do we want?
:'''Chorus''': ''[singing]'' A girl worth fighting for!
:'''Ling''': ''[singing]'' Wish that I had...
:'''Chorus''': ''[singing]'' ... a girl worth fighting for! ''[whistles]'' A girl worth fighting... ''[stops suddenly, the Chinese army stare in horror at the charred and burning remnants of a small village. They walk through it]''
:'''Captain Li Shang''': Search for survivors!
:''[Mulan picks up a small doll]''
:'''Captain Li Shang''': I don't understand. My father should've been here.
:'''Chi-Fu''': Captain! ''[They turn to see a bloody battlefield full of dead Chinese soldiers. Chien Po hands the general's helmet to Shang]''
:'''Chien-Po''': The... general.
:''[Shang takes his sword and sticks it in the snow, then places the helmet on the hilt and says a prayer]''
:'''Fa Mulan''': I'm sorry.
:'''Captain Li Shang''': ''[mounts his horse]'' The Huns are moving quickly. We'll make better time to the Imperial City through the Tung Shao pass. We're the only hope for the Emperor now. Move out!
:''[The army slowly walks away. Mulan places the doll by Shang's sword and joins the others]''
:''[As the Chinese Soldiers slowly walk through the mountain pass, a rocket in the wagon attached to Khan suddenly goes off, shooting into the sky. Mulan looks at Mushu accusingly.]'' 
:'''Captain Li Shang''': What happened?
:''' Fa Mulan''': Um...
:'''Captain Li Shang''': You just gave away our position! Now we're-- ''[an arrow hits his shoulder, throwing him off the horse. Huns appear on a cliff, and arrows shower down on the soldiers.]'' Get out of range!
:''[The pitiful Chinese army struggles to get away from the Huns, but are intercepted by another group of Huns up on another cliff.]'' 
:'''Captain Li Shang''': Save the cannons! ''[The soldiers pass the cannons from the wagon to each other. The wagon gets hit by a flaming arrow, and Mulan cuts Khan's reins and mounts him. The wagon explodes, sending Mushu and Cri-Kee flying. Mulan falls off the horse.]'' 
:'''Mushu''': Oh, sure, save the horse. ''[Mulan grabs Mushu and her sword and runs over to the other soldiers.]'' 
:'''Captain Li Shang''': Fire! ''[The soldier lights the cannon, and it explodes on the mountain. More follow.]'' Fire! ''[There is no sound from the Huns, who are no longer on the cliffs.]'' Hold the last cannon.
:''[Suddenly, a horse appears on the hill. Shan Yu is soon joined by hundreds of Hun soldiers.]'' 
:'''Captain Li Shang''': Prepare to fight. If we die, we die with honor.
:''[The Huns charge the Chinese Army.]'' 
:'''Captain Li Shang''': Aim the cannon at Shan Yu. ''[Yao aims the cannon.]'' 
:''[While glancing at her sword, Mulan notices a glacial overhang. She grabs the cannon and runs toward the Huns.]''
:'''Yao''': Hey! ''[Aiming at the overhang.]''
:'''Captain Li Shang''': Ping! Come Back! Ping! 
:''[Frantically, as Shan Yu draws nearer, his sword raised.]''
:'''Captain Li Shang''': &lt;big&gt;'''''STOP!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Mulan fumbles with the match.]'' 
:'''Mushu''': Okay, you might want to light that right about now, Quickly, quickly! ''[Mulan is attacked by Shan Yu's hawk, and loses the match.]'' 
:'''Yao''': C'mon, we gotta help! ''[The Gang of Three run toward Mulan, swinging their swords.]'' 
:''[Mulan uses Mushu to light the cannon fuse, and it shoots off toward the overhang.]'' 
:'''Mushu''': You missed! How could you miss?! He was three feet in front of you!
:''[The cannon hits the overhang with a bang, and causes an avalanche that rains down on the Hun Army, burying in them. In fury, Shan Yu roars and hits Mulan in the side with his sword blade. She quickly runs away from the avalanche, pulling Shang with her. Yao, Ling and Chen Po charge into battle cheering, then notice the avalanche and flee back the other way screaming. Khan runs toward Mulan and Shang, and Mulan gets on and tries to give Shang a hand, but he loses his grip and is dragged into the snow.]'' 
:'''Mushu''': ''[riding down the snow in a shield]'' Mulan!! Mulan! Mulan? ''[He pulls a Hun's head out of the snow.] Nope. Mulan! [He reaches down and pulls out Cri-Kee.]'' Man, you are one lucky bug.
:''[Mulan and Khan break out of the snow and race toward Shang, who, unconscious, is sliding on the snow toward a cliff.]'' 
:'''Fa Mulan''': Shang! ''[She pulls him up onto the saddle.]'' 
:'''Chien-Po''': ''[holding up Yao]'' Do you see them?
:'''Yao''': Yes! ''[He fits an arrow, which is tied to a length of rope, and shoots it toward Mulan.]'' Perfect! Now I'll pull them to safety! ''[The rope slips through his hands.]'' 
:'''Mushu''': ''[sliding near Mulan and Shang]'' Mulan! I found a lucky cricket!
:'''Fa Mulan''': We need help! ''[The arrow flies near them, Mulan grabs it and ties it around Khan.]'' 
:'''Mushu''': ''[to Cri-Kee]'' Ooh, nice. Very nice! You can sit by me! ''[They climb up onto Khan, and notice the cliff.]'' '''''AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!''''' We're gonna die! We're gonna die! We're definitely gonna die! No way we survive this! Death is coming! ''[Mulan shoots the arrow up as they fall off the cliff.]'' 
:'''Yao''': ''[crying]'' I let them slip through my fingers... ''[looks surprised as the arrow, complete with rope, lands in his hands. He is dragged toward the cliff edge, soldiers jumping on top of him.]'' 
:'''Yao''': Pull! 
:''[Finally Chien Po walks over, picks all the soldiers up, and walks backwards, pulling Mulan, Khan, and Shang up onto the ground.]'' 
:'''Mushu''': I knew we could do it! You the man! Well, sort of. 
:'''Ling''': Step back, guys. Give him some air!
:'''Captain Li Shang''': [breathing heavily] Ping, you are the craziest man I ever met. And for that, I owe you my life. From now on, you have my trust.
:'''Ling''': Let's hear it for Ping, the bravest of us all!
:'''Yao''': You're King of the Mountain!
:''[Cheering]'' 
:''[Mulan tries to stand up, but collapses to the ground, gasping.]'' 
:'''Captain Li Shang''': Ping! What's wrong? ''[Mulan moves her hands to reveal blood.]'' He's wounded! Get help! ''[Mulan sinks into unconsciousness.]'' Ping, hold on. Hold on.

&lt;hr width = 50%&gt; 
:''[Later by nightfall, outside of the medic tent, the doctor emerges from his tent and says something to Shang, who looks disturbed and rushes inside. He looks at Mulan, who sits up in bed, her side bandaged. Shang stares at her, recognizing her as a girl]''
:'''Fa Mulan''': ''[realizes her mistake and pulls the blanket back on]'' I can explain!
:'''Chi-Fu''': ''[enters with a gasps]'' So it's true!
:'''Fa Mulan''': Shang!
:'''Chi-Fu''': ''[yanking Mulan out of the tent]'' I knew there was something wrong with you! ''[revealing her hair out of a bun]'' A woman! ''[throws her to the ground]'' ''Treacherous snake!''
:'''Fa Mulan''': My name is Mulan! I did it to save my father.
:'''Chi-Fu''': '''HIGH TREASON!'''
:'''Fa Mulan''': I didn't mean for it to go this far!
:'''Chi-Fu''': '''ULTIMATE DISHONOR!'''
:'''Fa Mulan''': It was the only way! Please, believe me!
:'''Chi-Fu''': Captain? ''[Shang walks over to Khan and takes out Mulan's sword. Khan rears back and Mushu are shocked; to the soldiers holding Khan]'' Restrain him.
:''[Shang walks toward Mulan with sword in hand and the Gang of Three start to rush over to her]''
:'''Yao, Ling and Chien-Po''': ''[horrified]'' '''NO!'''
:'''Chi-Fu''': ''[stops them]'' You know the law.
:''[Shang walks over to Mulan, who looks at him pleadingly and braces herself. He then throws the sword in the snow, much to Mulan's confusion]''
:'''Captain Li Shang''': A life for a life. My debt is repaid. ''[to the soldiers]'' Move out!
:'''Chi-Fu''': ''[shocked]'' But you can't just...
:'''Captain Li Shang''': ''[grabs Chi-Fu]'' I said move out.
:''[The Chinese Army sadly walks away, leaving Mulan, Mushu, Cri-kee, and Khan in the snow]''
:'''Mushu''': I was this close. This close! To impressing the ancestors, getting the top shelf, in entourage...man. All my fine work. ''[uses the tip of an arrow to roast a piece of food over a tiny fire]'' Hi.
:'''Fa Mulan''': I should never have left home.
:'''Mushu''': Hey C'mon. You wanted to save your father's life. Who knew you'd end up shaming him, disgracing your ancestors and losing all your friends. Y'know, you just gotta learn to let these things go. ''[sobbing]''
:'''Fa Mulan''': Maybe I didn't go for my father. Maybe what I really wanted was to prove that I could do things right. ''[picks up her helmet]'' So I looked in the mirror, I'd see someone worthwhile. But I was wrong.''[sheds a tear]'' I see nothing. ''[throws the helmet aside]''
:'''Mushu''': Hey, that's just cause this needs a little spit, that's all. ''[spits on the helmet]'' Let me shine this up for you. I can see you, look at you, you look so pretty. ''[Mulan looks away, leaving him sad]'' The truth is; we're both frauds. Your ancestors never sent me, they don't even like me. I mean, you risked your life to help people you love. I risked your life to help myself. At least you had good intentions. ''[Mulan smiles. Cri-Kee then cries]'' What?! What do you mean you're not lucky?! You lied to me?! ''[Cri-Kee nods; turns to Khan]'' And what are you, a sheep?! ''[Khan snorts, he groans and throws Cri-Kee]''
:'''Fa Mulan''': I'll have to face my father sooner or later. Let's go home.
:'''Mushu''': Yeah. This ain't gonna be pretty. But don't you worry, okay? Things will work out. We started this thing together and that's how we'll finish it. I promise.
:''[Hayabusa flying over the avalanche site, Shan-Yu's hand pops out of the snow and gets up and Shan-Yu screams, with the camera zooms out, with Mulan, Mushu, and Cri-Kee noises. Hun Archer, Long-Hair Hun Man, Hun Strong Guy, Hun Bald Man #1, and Hun Bald Man #2 each pop out of the snow and join Shan-Yu. They set off towards the Imperial City]''
:'''Fa Mulan''': ''[gasps]'' Huh?
:''[Mulan runs, grabs her sword, mounts Khan, and heads out following the Huns to the Imperial City]''
:'''Mushu''': Home is that way! ''[points to the opposite direction Mulan is heading]''
:'''Fa Mulan''': I have to do something.
:'''Mushu''': Did you see those Huns!?  They popped out of the snow, like daisies!
:'''Fa Mulan''': Are we in this together or not?
:''[Cri-Kee chirps]''
:'''Mushu''': Well, let's go kick some Huny buns! 
:''[Mushu jumps onto Khan and utters fighting words as they ride off to the Imperial City]''

&lt;hr width = 50%&gt;
:''[In the Imperial City]''
:''[The Chinese citizens watch happily as the Imperial City celebrates the Chinese victory with a parade.]''
:'''Parade Leader''': Make way for the heroes of China!
:''[Shang, the Gang of Three and the other soldiers follow glumly behind, and behind them is a large Chinese dragon with the Huns inside.]''
:''[Mulan comes riding up beside Shang.]''
:'''Fa Mulan''': Shang!
:'''Captain Li Shang''': Mulan?
:'''Fa Mulan''': The Huns are alive! They're in the city!
:'''Captain Li Shang''': You don't belong here, Mulan. Go home.
:'''Fa Mulan''': Shang, I saw them in the mountains! You have to believe me!
:'''Captain Li Shang''': Why should I?
:'''Fa Mulan''': Why else would I come back? You said you'd trust Ping. Why is Mulan any different? ''[Shang rides around her.]'' ''[To the Gang of Three]'' Keep your eyes open. I know they're here. Yah!
:'''Mushu''': ''[as Mulan dismounts Khan]'' Now where are you going?
:'''Fa Mulan''': To find someone who will believe me! ''[she hurries off into the crowd.]''
:''[The Chinese Army climbs the steps to the Great Palace, followed by the Chinese Dragon with the Huns inside. The Emperor meets them.]''
:'''The Emperor''': My children, heaven smiles down upon the Middle Kingdom. China will sleep safely tonight. Thanks to our brave warriors.
:'''Fa Mulan''': ''[to a citizen]'' Sir, the Emperor's in danger!
:'''Man #1''': Huh!
:'''Fa Mulan''': But the Huns are here! ''[to another man]'' Please, you have to help!
:'''Man #2''': Eh!
:'''Fa Mulan''': ''[to Mushu]'' No one will listen!
:'''Mushu''': Huh? Oh, I'm sorry, did you say something?
:'''Fa Mulan''': Mushu...
:'''Mushu''': Hey, you're a girl again, remember?
:'''Captain Li Shang''': Your Majesty, I present to you the sword of Shan-Yu.
:'''The Emperor''': I know what this means to you, Captain Li. Your father would have been very proud.
:''[Shan Yu's hawk swoops down and grabs the sword. It flaps up to the roof, where a line of stone gargoyles are resting. One of the gargoyles moves and takes the sword. Huns jump out of the Chinese Dragon. Two of them grab the Emperor and take him into the palace.]''
:'''Captain Li Shang''': No!
:'''Yao''': Come on! ''[They run up to the palace, but the Huns continue closing the great doors. On the roof, Shan Yu laughs.]''
:''[The Chinese Army tries to break into the palace using a statue.]''
:'''Fa Mulan''': They'll never reach the Emperor in time. ''[She looks around, then at the tall pillars by the side of the palace. She whistles to them.]'' Hey, guys! I've got an idea! ''[The Gang of Three looks at each other and then follows Mulan, dropping the statue.]''
:''[They all take off their equipment, and put on dresses and makeup, and they use the silk belts around their waists to climb up the pillars. Next to them, Shang takes off his cape and climbs up.]''
:''[Inside the palace, on a balcony, the Huns hold the Emperor, Shan-Yu drops down from the roof]''
:'''Shan-Yu''':  Boo. ''[steps into the balcony next to the Emperor, to Hun Bald Man 1 and 2]'' Guard the door. ''[they walk off down the stairs that lead to the balcony, pacing around the Emperor]'' Your walls and armies have fallen, and now it's your turn. Bow to me.
:''[Cut to the entrance to the stairwell that leads to the balcony. Hun Bald Man 1 and 2 come down the stairs and close the door, joining Hun Archer Man, Hun Strong Man and Hun Long-Hair Man. Mulan and company are around the corner]''
:'''Fa Mulan''': ''[behind the pillar]'' Okay, any questions?
:'''Yao''': ''[behind the pillar]'' Does this dress make me look fat? ''[Mulan slaps him]'' Ow!
:''[Mulan, Yao, Ling and Chien-Po walk out disguised as concubines]''
:'''Hun Archer''': Who's there?
:'''Hun Bald Man 2''': Concubines.
:'''Hun Bald Man 1''': ''Ugly concubines.''
:'''Ling''': [waving daintily, speaking to Yao] Oh, he's so cute.
:''[Hun Bald Man 2 smiles and waves. Hun Bald Man 1 elbows Hun Bald Man 2. A bitten apple falls out from beneath Ling's dress]''
:'''Captain Li Shang''': ''[from around the corner putting his head down into his hand]'' Aww.
:''[Shan-Yu's Falcon sees Shang and prepares to screech, Mushu from above singes off all his feathers with his fire breathing]''
:'''Mushu''': ''[to Cri-Kee sitting above him]'' Now that's what I call Mongolian Barbeque.
:''[Hun Bald Man 2 picks up the apple and offers it back to Ling. Ling, Yao, and Chien-Po pull into their dresses and reveal fruits. Chien-Po uses two watermelons to smash them on the heads of Hun Bald Man 1 and 2. He then smashes their two heads together and they fall to the ground. Ling pushes the apple into Hun Long-Hair man's mouth and kicks him in the stomach causing Hun Long-Hair Man to stoop over on the ground. Ling uses his head to whack Hun Long-Hair Man's back. Hun Strong Guy lunges his fist at Yao and misses, he misses with the other. Yao grabs one arm and flips him over. Mulan kicks away Hun Archer Man's bow and knocked arrow, avoids his strike by turning her back to Hun Archer. She follows with a left elbow to the stomach followed by a left upper cut knocking Hun Archer to the ground. She sits on his back and uses the bow to pull his head back]''
:'''Fa Mulan''': ''[calling out]'' ''Shang, go!''
:''[Shang runs up the stairs and into the room where Shan Yu and the Emperor are]''
:'''Shan-Yu''': I tire of your arrogance, old man. ''[furiously yelling and angrily putting his sword at the emperor's throat]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''BOW TO ME!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''The Emperor''': ''[calm]'' No matter how the wind howls, the mountain cannot bow to it.
:'''Shan-Yu''': ''[enraged]'' Then you will ''kneel'' in ''pieces!'' ''[draws back his sword to strike the Emperor]''
:''[Shang runs up and blocks the striking blow of Shan-Yu with his sword. Shang swipes with his sword. Shan-Yu grabs Shang's arm and throws him towards the edge. Shang grabs onto a column and he flies over the edge, swings back and kicks Shan-Yu. Shan-Yu falls to the ground, Shang on top of him. Shang punches Shan-Yu. Shan-Yu grabs Shang and rolls over forcing Shang to be on his back underneath him. Shang uses his knee to hit Shan-Yu from behind as he uses his hand to hit him in the head. Shang forces Shan-Yu onto his back and grabs his arm pulling it behind Shan-Yu's back. Mulan, Chien-Po, Yao and Ling enter the balcony from the stairs]''
:'''Fa Mulan''':  Chien-Po, get the Emperor!
:'''Chien-Po''': ''[standing in front of the Emperor and bowing]'' Sorry, your Majesty. ''[lifts up the Emperor and runs over to Mulan who is by a rope attached to a column in the balcony. Chien-Po uses his sash as a pulley and rides down the rope to the ground]''
:'''Shan-Yu''': ''[watches the Emperor leave Shan-Yu losing control of his rage and screaming]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt; ''[and uses his free arm to elbow Shang in the face. Shan-Yu gets up and head-butts Shang and throws him to the ground]''
:'''Yao''': ''[motioning her to follow]'' Come on!
:''[Shan-Yu begins to approach Mulan and the rope. Mulan grabs Shan-Yu's sword and cuts the taught rope. The crowd cheers]''
:'''Shan-Yu''': No. ''[looks down at the crowd and realizes he cannot find the Emperor among the throng of people]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''YRRAAAAAHHHH!'''''&lt;/big&gt; ''[pulls out his sword lodged in the column and turns and looks back and sees Mulan looking concerned, holding up Shang. Shan-Yu furiously pulls out his sword lodged in the column and angrily heads toward them. As Shang sees Shan-Yu approaching, he puts his arm in front of Mulan to push her away and takes out his knife]'' You... ''[Mulan slides away. Shan-Yu angrily comes up to Shang, furiously knocks away his knife, violently punches him in the face, and angrily grabs Shang by his cape]'' ''You'' took away my ''victory!''
:'''Fa Mulan''': ''[throws her shoe at Shan-Yu in the head and bounces back to her feet. Shan-Yu turns toward her]'' No! ''I'' did. ''[pulls her hair back]''
:'''Shan-Yu''': ''[dumbstruck]'' The soldier from the mountains... ''[angrily released Shang by his cape, and trying to walking and attacks Mulan]''
:''[Mulan puts on her shoe and runs down the stairs and through the doors to the balcony. She closes the door with the latch falling in place right behind her. She leans against the doors. Shan-Yu punches a hole in one door with his fist. Mulan runs away from the doors down the corridor as Mushu and Cri-kee arrive riding Hayabusha]''
:'''Mushu''': So what's the plan?
:'''Fa Mulan''': Umm...
:'''Mushu''': &lt;big&gt;'''YOU DON'T HAVE A PLAN?!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Fa Mulan''': Hey, I'm making this up as I- ''[skids to a stop as she sees the fireworks display]'' go. ''[points to the fireworks]'' Mushu!
:'''Mushu''': Way ahead of ya, sister! Come on, Cri-Kee! ''[jumps from window onto a black butterfly kite and use the wings to soar over toward the fireworks tower. Enraged, Shan-Yu breaks through the doors and attacks Mulan again, and she shinnies up a pole. Shan Yu cuts down the pole, and Mulan and the pole go through the wall. Mulan jumps up and grabs onto the roof and pulls herself up. She looks across to where Mushu and Cri-Kee are gathering ammunition; lands on fireworks using the butterfly kite as wings]'' Citizens, I need firepower.
:'''Fireworks people''': Who are you?!
:'''Mushu''': Your worst nightmare.
:''[The two men jump off the tower. Mulan pulls herself onto the roof and climbs up to the crest]''
:'''Man in Crowd 1''': On the roof!
:'''Man in Crowd 2''': Look! 
:''[Mulan lines up where she is standing with the fireworks tower across the way. Shan-Yu breaks through the roof behind Mulan. Mulan backs away and searches for something on her person to help her against Shan-Yu. She finds a fan, takes it out, and opens it]''
:'''Shan-Yu''': ''[his last words before his death]'' It looks like you're out of ideas. ''[lunges with his sword to kill her]''
:''[Mulan dodges to her right and lets the sword go right through the fan.  She closes the fan back up on the sword and twists the fan with both hands so that Shan-Yu loses his grip. The sword flies toward Mulan and she catches it by the handle slipping off the fan with her sword movement]''
:'''Fa Mulan''':  Not quite. ''[calling out]'' Ready, Mushu?!
:'''Mushu''': ''[behind Shan-Yu tied to a large rocket firework]'' &lt;big&gt;'''I AM ''READY'', BABY!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''[blows fire onto a match and hands it to Cri-Kee who's standing on the firework]'' Light me!
:''[Cri-Kee lights the fuse. Enraged, Shan-Yu approaches Mulan. Using the sword as a lever, Mulan lunges at Shan-Yu kicking him in the face then sweep kicks him and he falls to the ground. Mulan picks the sword back up and stabs it into Shan-Yu's cape. The rocket on Mushu ignites and hurls him toward Shan-Yu. Mulan lies flat down on the left side of the roof. Shan-Yu sees the approaching rocket and attempts to move, but the sword has him pinned to the spot.  The rocket hits Shan-Yu, propelling him toward the firework tower. Mushu grabbed onto the sword as he went by letting the rocket do the work. Cri-Kee hangs on to Mushu's tail]''
:'''Fa Mulan''': ''[jumps back up to the crest of the roof and runs away from the fireworks tower grabbing Mushu and Cri-Kee off the sword]'' Get off the roof, get off the roof, get off the roof.
:''[The rocket rides Shan-Yu into the fireworks tower causing masses of explosions and fireworks to fly everywhere and he died into the fireworks tower. Mulan jumps near the edge of the roof. Propelled by the explosion, she grabs onto a lantern that is hanging on a taut rope and starts to slide down. She looks down and releases her grip so that she lands on the back of Shang causing the two of them to stumble to the ground. Shan-Yu's sword follows and lands on the ground near by]''
:'''Mushu''': ''[landing and flying backwards on his butt a couple of times pointing at the fireworks]''  Ah ha ha ha ha!  ''[catches Cri-Kee with antenna on fire as Cri-Kee falls toward him]'' You are a lucky bug. ''[pinches out the fire on Cri-Kee's antenna]''
:'''Chi-Fu''': &lt;big&gt;''THAT WAS A DELIBERATE ATTEMPT ON MY LIFE! WHERE IS SHE?! NOW''&lt;/big&gt; she's done it! ''WHAT A MESS!'' Stand aside, that creature's not worth protecting!
:'''Captain Li Shang''': She's a hero!
:'''Chi-Fu''': 'Tis a woman. She'll never be worth anything!
:'''Captain Li Shang''': Listen, you POMPOUS...
:'''The Emperor''': ''[approaching slowly down the steps]'' That...is...enough.
:'''Captain Li Shang''': Your Majesty, I can explain.
:''[The Emperor raises a hand and the gang of three move to the side, revealing Mulan who bows]''
:'''The Emperor''': I've heard a great deal about you, Fa Mulan. You stole your father's armor, ran away from home. Impersonated a soldier, deceived your commanding officer, dishonored the Chinese Army, destroyed my palace! And... ''[smiles]'' You have saved us all.
:''[The Emperor of China bows to Mulan; Chi Fu, Captain Shang, Ling, Yao, Chien-Po and the entire gathered crowd do the same]''
:'''Mushu''': My little baby's all grown up and... ''[sniffle]''...and savin' China. ''[to Cri-kee]'' You have a tissue?
:'''The Emperor''': Chi-Fu.
:'''Chi-Fu''': Your Excellency?
:'''The Emperor''': ''[indicating Mulan]'' See to it that this woman is made a member of my council.
:'''Chi-Fu''': A member of...what? ''[sputters]'' But - uh - there are no council positions open, Your Majesty.
:'''The Emperor''': Very well. ''[to Mulan]'' You can have ''his'' job.
:'''Chi-Fu''': Wha-? I- ''[faints]''
:'''Fa Mulan''': With all due respect, Your Excellency, I think I've been away from home long enough.
:'''The Emperor''': ''[takes off his personal crest]'' Then take this, so your family will know what you have done for me. ''[gives her the sword of Shan Yu]'' And this, so the world will know what you have done for China.
:''[Mulan embraces the Emperor, who smiles]''
:'''Yao''': Is she allowed to do that?
:''[After also hugging Yao, Ling and Chien-Po, Mulan approaches Shang]''
:'''Captain Li Shang''': Um...You...You fight good.
:'''Fa Mulan''': ''[disappointed]'' Oh. Thank you. ''[mounts Khan]'' Khan, let's go home. ''[leaves]''
:''[The crowd cheers as Mulan departs from Imperial City]''
:'''The Emperor''': ''[walks up to Shang]'' The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.
:'''Captain Li Shang''': Sir?
:'''The Emperor''': You don't meet a girl like ''that'' every dynasty. ''[puts his hat back on and walks off]''

&lt;hr width = 50%&gt;
:''[Last lines; At Mulan's house, Mulan approaches her father, who is sitting under the cherry trees. She kneels in front of him]''
:'''Fa Zhou''': ''[surprised]'' Mulan?
:'''Fa Mulan''': Father, I've brought you the sword of Shan-Yu, and the Crest of the Emperor. They're gifts to honor the Fa Family.
:'''Fa Zhou''': ''[looks at Mulan, drops the gifts, and hugs her]'' The greatest gift and honor is having you for a daughter. I've missed you so.
:'''Fa Mulan''': I've missed you too, Baba.
:''[Fa Li sighs happily]''
:'''Grandmother Fa''': ''[watching them]'' Great. She brings home a ''sword''. If you ask me, she should've brought home a ''man-'' 
:'''Captain Li Shang''': Excuse me. Does Fa Mulan live here? ''[Mother Fa and Grandmother Fa stare at Shang, then point in toward the house]'' Thank you.
:'''Grandmother Fa''': Woo! Sign me up for the ''next'' war!
:'''Captain Li Shang''': ''[approaches Fa Zhou and Mulan]'' Honorable Fa Zhou, I - Mulan! Uh, you forgot the helmet. Well, actually ''[to Fa Zhou]'' your helmet, isn't it? I mean...
:'''Fa Mulan''': ''[takes the helmet; to Shang]'' Would you like to stay for dinner?
:'''Grandmother Fa''': ''[off-screen]'' Would you like to stay forever?!
:''[Mulan shakes her head with a smile]''
:'''Captain Li Shang''': Dinner would be great.
:''[Meanwhile inside the Temple]''
:'''Mushu''': ''[to First Ancestor Fa]'' Come on. Who did a good job? C'mon, tell me who did a good job.
:'''First Ancestor Fa''': ''[sighs]'' Oh, all right, you can be a guardian again.
:'''Mushu''': ''[excitedly]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''AAAAAHHH-HAAAAAAA! WHOOHOOHOOHOOHOOOO!'''''&lt;/big&gt; ''[Cri-Kee rings the gong; all the ancestors come out]'' Take it, Cri-Kee Hit it!
:''[Cri-Kee plays a set of drums, and all the ancestors dance]''
:'''Ancestor Man 1''': You know, she gets it from my side of the family!
:'''Mushu''': ''[swings on a chain]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''CALL OUT FOR EGG ROLLS!'''''&lt;/big&gt; ''[falls off and goes sliding out the Temple door]''
:'''First Ancestor Fa''': ''[grumbles to himself]'' Guardians.
:''[Mushu lands on the steps of the Temple]''
:'''Fa Mulan''': Thanks, Mushu. ''[kisses him on the forehead]''
:''[Suddenly, Little Brother, followed by a herd of chickens, bursts into the Temple]''
:'''First Ancestor Fa''': ''[last line]'' Mushu!
:''[Both Mulan and Mushu have worried expressions on their faces before we cut to black]''

==CHRISTINA AGUILERA lyrics (Reflection)==
:'''Christina Aguilera''': Look at me / You may think you see who I really am / But you'll never know me / Every day / It's as if I play a part| Now I see / If I wear a mask, I can fool the world / But I cannot fool my heart...| Who is that girl I see / Staring straight back at me? / When will my reflection show who I am inside?| I am now / In a world where I have to hide my heart / And what I believe in / But somehow / I will show the world what's inside my heart / And be loved for who I am...| Who is that girl I see / Staring straight back at me? / Why is my reflection someone I don't know? / Must I pretend that I'm / Someone else for all time? / When will my reflection show who I am inside?| There's a heart that must be free to fly / That burns with a need to know the reason why...| Why must we all conceal / What we think, how we feel? / Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide? / I won't pretend that I'm / Someone else for all time? / When will my reflection show who I am inside?|  When will my reflection show who I am inside? ''[song fades]''

==About Mulan (1998 film)==

* ''Mulan'' is an impressive achievement, with a story and treatment ranking with ''[[Beauty and the Beast (1991 film)|Beauty and the Beast]]'' and ''[[The Lion King]]''.
** [[Roger Ebert]], in his 3.5-star review of ''Mulan'', dated June 19, 1998
* Despite her delicate features and voice. Disney expects us to believe that Mulan’s ingenuity and courage were enough to carry her to military success on an equal basis with her cloddish cohorts.
** [[Mike Pence]], op-ed on the website for his radio talk show, (1999); as quoted by Henry Barnes in [https://www.theguardian.com/film/2016/jul/19/mike-pence-disney-mulan-mischievous-propaganda-us-presidential-election-film &quot;Mike Pence: Disney's Mulan is 'mischievous liberal propaganda&quot;], ''The Guardian'', (7/19/2016).
* You see, now stay with me on this, many young men find many young women to be attractive sexually. Many young women find many young men to be attractive sexually. Put them together, in close quarters, for long periods of time, and things will get interesting. Just like they eventually did for young Mulan. Moral of story: women in military, bad idea.
** [[Mike Pence]], op-ed on the website for his radio talk show, (1999); as quoted by Henry Barnes in [https://www.theguardian.com/film/2016/jul/19/mike-pence-disney-mulan-mischievous-propaganda-us-presidential-election-film &quot;Mike Pence: Disney's Mulan is 'mischievous liberal propaganda&quot;], ''The Guardian'', (7/19/2016).

==Cast==
*[[Ming-Na Wen]] as Fa Mulan
** [[w:Lea Salonga|Lea Salonga]] (singing voice)
* [[w:BD Wong|BD Wong]] as Captain Li Shang
** [[w:Donny Osmond|Donny Osmond]] (singing voice)
* [[Eddie Murphy]] as Mushu
* [[w:Miguel Ferrer|Miguel Ferrer]] as Shan-Yu
* [[w:June Foray|June Foray]] as Grandmother Fa
** [[w:Marni Nixon|Marni Nixon]] (singing voice)
* [[Harvey Fierstein]] as Yao
* [[w:Gedde Watanabe|Gedde Watanabe]] as Ling
** [[w:Matthew Wilder|Matthew Wilder]] (singing voice)
* [[w:Jerry Tondo|Jerry Tondo]] as Chien-Po
* [[James Hong]] as Chi-Fu
* [[w:Soon-Tek Oh|Soon-Tek Oh]] as Fa Zhou
* [[w:Pat Morita|Pat Morita]] as The Emperor of China
* [[George Takei]] as First Ancestor Fa
* [[Miriam Margolyes]] as The Matchmaker
* [[Freda Foh Shen]] as Fa Li
* [[w:James Shigeta|James Shigeta]] as General Li
* [[Frank Welker]] as Cri-Kee and Khan (Mulan's horse)
* [[w:Chris Sanders|Chris Sanders]] as Little Brother (Mulan's dog)
* [[w:Robert Clotworthy|Robert Clotworthy]] as Zhencha (Big Twin Hun #2)
* [[w:Mitch Carter|Mitch Carter]] as Lieren (Big Twin Hun #4) and Hun Army
* [[w:Jack Gilpin|Jack Gilpin]] as Bai (Big Twin Hun #1)
* [[w:John Walcutt|John Walcutt]] as Sheshou (Elite Hun Soldier)
* [[w:Patrick Pinney|Patrick Pinney]] as Fa Deng, Parade Leader, Hun Twin 3
* [[w:Peter Renaday|Peter Renaday]] as Hun Army
* [[w:Matthew Labyorteaux|Matthew Labyorteaux]] as Hun Army
* [[w:Jack Angel|Jack Angel]] as Ancestors, Hun Army

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|id=0120762|title=Mulan}}

{{Authority control}}

[[Category:1998 animated films]]
[[Category:1990s American animated films]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated films]]
[[Category:American films]]
[[Category:American animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated action films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical films]]
[[Category:War films]]
[[Category:Animated films about dragons]]
[[Category:Animated films about father–daughter relationships]]
[[Category:Films set in China]]
[[Category:Cross-dressing in films]]
[[Category:The Walt Disney Company]]
[[Category:Disney Princess films]]
[[Category:Disney Renaissance]]
[[Category:1990s English-language films]]</text>
      <sha1>b7jjpnc1i455ih3hryyxx1fqzajvciy</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Nick Drake</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>7368</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943953</id>
      <parentid>3675712</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T14:17:09Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>CommonsDelinker</username>
        <id>13873</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Removing &quot;Nick_Drake.JPG&quot;, it has been deleted from Commons by [[c:User:Jameslwoodward|Jameslwoodward]] because: per [[:c:Commons:Deletion requests/File:Nick Drake.JPG|]].</comment>
      <origin>3943953</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="6586" sha1="cv6389szakx7jranoja5wvz8hq5ecx1" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Nick Drake|Nicholas Rodney Drake]]''' ([[19 June]] [[1948]] – [[25 November]] [[1974]]) was an English [[w:folk music|folk]] [[w:singer-songwriter|singer-songwriter]] and musician.

== Song lyrics ==
* I'm growing old and I wanna go home.&lt;br&gt;I'm growing old and I don't wanna know.
** ''Black Eyed Dog'', first appeared on ''[[w:Fruit Tree (album)|Fruit Tree]]'' (1979)
[[File:Black dog lying on the floor.jpg|right|thumb|287px|Growing old and I want to go home... ~ ''Black Eyed Dog'']]

* The world hums on at its breakneck pace;&lt;br&gt;People fly in their lifelong race.&lt;br&gt;For them there's a future to find,&lt;br&gt;But I think they're leaving me behind.
** ''Leaving Me Behind'', appeared on ''[[w:Family Tree (Nick Drake album)|Family Tree]]'' (2007)

=== ''[[w:Five Leaves Left|Five Leaves Left]]'' (1969) ===

* Time has told me&lt;br&gt;You're a rare, rare find,&lt;br&gt;A troubled cure for a troubled mind.
** ''Time Has Told Me''

* So I'll leave the ways that are making me be&lt;br&gt;What I really don't want to be.&lt;br&gt;Leave the ways that are making me love&lt;br&gt;What I really don't want to love.
** ''Time Has Told Me''

* Going to see the river man,&lt;br&gt;Going to tell him all I can&lt;br&gt;About the plan&lt;br&gt;For lilac time.&lt;br&gt;If he tells me all he knows&lt;br&gt;'Bout the way his river flows,&lt;br&gt;And all night shows&lt;br&gt;In summertime.
** ''[[w:River Man|River Man]]''

* Going to see the river man.&lt;br&gt;Going to tell him all I can&lt;br&gt;About the ban&lt;br&gt;On feeling free.&lt;p&gt;If he tells me all he knows&lt;br&gt;About the way his river flows,&lt;br&gt;I don't suppose&lt;br&gt;It's meant for me.
** ''[[w:River Man|River Man]]''

* Have you seen the land living by the breeze?&lt;br&gt;Can you understand the lights upon the trees?&lt;br&gt;Tell me all that you may know&lt;br&gt;Show me what you have to show&lt;br&gt;Tell us all today if you know the way to blue...
** ''Way To Blue'' 

* When the day is done,&lt;br&gt;Down to earth then sinks the sun,&lt;br&gt;Along with everything that was lost and won,&lt;br&gt;When the day is done.
** ''[[w:Day is Done|Day is Done]]''

* Fame is but a fruit tree:&lt;br&gt;So very unsound.&lt;br&gt;It can never flourish&lt;br&gt;Till its stalk is in the ground.&lt;br&gt;So men of fame&lt;br&gt;Can never find a way&lt;br&gt;Till time has flown&lt;br&gt;Far from their dying day.&lt;br&gt;Forgotten while you're here,&lt;br&gt;Remembered for a while.&lt;br&gt;A much updated ruin&lt;br&gt;From a much outdated style.
** ''Fruit Tree''

* Life is but a memory,&lt;br&gt;Happened long ago.&lt;br&gt;Theatre full of sadness&lt;br&gt;For a long forgotten show.&lt;br&gt;Seems so easy&lt;br&gt;Just to let it go on by&lt;br&gt;Till you stop and wonder&lt;br&gt;Why you never wondered why.
** ''Fruit Tree''

* Safe in the womb of an everlasting night,&lt;br&gt;You find the darkness can give the brightest light.&lt;br&gt;Safe in your place deep in the earth,&lt;br&gt;That's when they'll know what you were really worth.
** ''Fruit Tree''

=== ''[[w:Bryter Later|Bryter Later]]'' (1970) ===

* And what will happen in the morning when the world it gets&lt;br&gt;So crowded that you can't look out the window in the morning?
** ''Hazey Jane II''

* And at the chime of the city clock&lt;br&gt;Put up your road block.&lt;br&gt;Hang on to your crown.&lt;br&gt;For a stone in a tin can&lt;br&gt;Is wealth to the city man&lt;br&gt;Who leaves his armour down.
** ''At the Chime of a City Clock''

* I could have been a sailor, could have been a cook,&lt;br&gt;A real live lover, could have been a book,&lt;br&gt;I could have been a signpost, could have been a clock,&lt;br&gt;As simple as a kettle, steady as a rock.&lt;br&gt;I could be here and now,&lt;br&gt;I would be, I should be, but how?&lt;br&gt;I could have been one of these things first.
** ''One of These Things First''

* Do you curse where you come from?&lt;br&gt;Do you swear in the night?&lt;br&gt;Will it mean much to you&lt;br&gt;If I treat you right?&lt;br&gt;Do you like what you're doing?&lt;br&gt;Would you do it some more?&lt;br&gt;Or will you stop once and wonder&lt;br&gt;What you're doing it for?&lt;br&gt;Hey slow Jane, make sense.&lt;br&gt;Slow, slow, Jane, cross the fence.
** ''Hazey Jane I''

* Please give me a second grace.&lt;br&gt;Please give me a second face.&lt;br&gt;I've fallen far down&lt;br&gt;The first time around.&lt;br&gt;Now I just sit on the ground in your way.
** ''Fly''

* Please tell me your second name.&lt;br&gt;Please play me your second game.&lt;br&gt;I've fallen so far&lt;br&gt;For the people you are.&lt;br&gt;I just need your star for a day.
** ''Fly''

* I never felt magic crazy as this,&lt;br&gt;Never saw moons, knew the meaning of the sea,&lt;br&gt;I never held emotion in the palm of my hand,&lt;br&gt;Or felt sweet breezes in the top of a tree,&lt;br&gt;But now you're here.&lt;br&gt;Brighten my northern sky.
** ''Northern Sky''

* Would you love me for my money?&lt;br&gt;Would you love me for my head?&lt;br&gt;Would you love me through the winter?&lt;br&gt;Would you love me 'til I'm dead?&lt;br&gt;Oh, if you would and you could,&lt;br&gt;Come blow your horn on high.
** ''Northern Sky''

== ''[[w:Pink Moon|Pink Moon]]'' (1972)==
[[File: Nick Drake Grave.jpg|right|thumb|200px|'''Now we rise''',&lt;br&gt;'''And we are everywhere...'''&lt;br&gt; ''From The Morning'']]
* Saw it written and I saw it say &lt;br/&gt; Pink moon is on its way &lt;br/&gt; And none of you stand so tall &lt;br/&gt; Pink moon's gonna get ye all.
** ''[[w:Pink Moon|Pink Moon]]''

* And I was strong, strong in the sun &lt;br/&gt; I thought I'd see when day is done. &lt;br/&gt; Now I'm weaker than the palest blue &lt;br/&gt; Oh, so weak in the need for you.
** ''Place to Be''

* Don't be shy you learn to fly.&lt;br&gt;And see the sun when day is done.&lt;br&gt;If only you see&lt;br&gt;Just what you are beneath a star&lt;br&gt;That came to stay one rainy day&lt;br&gt;In autumn for free.&lt;br&gt;Yes, be what you'll be.
** ''Things Behind the Sun''

* '''And now we rise&lt;br&gt;And we are everywhere.'''
** ''From The Morning''

== Quotes about Nick Drake ==

* Since Nick Drake's death, his eerie, jazz-tinged folk music has had an ever-growing cult following.
** The Rolling Stone Encyclopedia of Rock &amp; Roll, (Third Edition), p. 280

*Even if you’d never heard of Nick Drake, his music would tell you everything you needed to know. The tragic singer-songwriter was in possession of a singular vision and dedication to his art that produced some of the most affecting acoustic music ever recorded. Drake’s melancholy moods and labyrinthine tunings twisted longstanding English folk traditions into mesmerising new shapes. Never a note out of place, and never a song that didn’t need to be sung.
**Rob Power of ''{{w|MusicRadar}}'' (June 16, 2017) [https://www.musicradar.com/news/the-top-20-acoustic-guitar-heroes-of-all-time]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Drake, Nick}}
[[Category:Guitarists from England]]
[[Category:Folk singers]]
[[Category:Singer-songwriters from England]]
[[Category:1948 births]]
[[Category:1974 deaths]]
[[Category:Suicides]]</text>
      <sha1>cv6389szakx7jranoja5wvz8hq5ecx1</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Henry Steele Commager</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>7376</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944118</id>
      <parentid>3335922</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T04:47:29Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>CommonsDelinker</username>
        <id>13873</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Replacing Abraham_Lincoln_Brigade_Vietnam_War_Protesters.gif with [[File:Public_Reactions-_The_March_on_the_Pentagon_-_DPLA_-_7f986f3d2385a083721700b8e8308e45.gif]] (by [[:c:User:CommonsDelinker|CommonsDelinker]] because: [[:c:COM:FR|File renamed]]: [[:c:</comment>
      <origin>3944118</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="12159" sha1="gkuzrt2dbdal3qdztkvjplviwc1uij0" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Public Reactions- The March on the Pentagon - DPLA - 7f986f3d2385a083721700b8e8308e45.gif|thumb|Men in [[authority]] will always think that [[criticism]] of their [[policies]] is [[dangerous]]. They will always equate their policies with [[patriotism]], and find criticism subversive.]]
'''[[w:Henry Steele Commager|Henry Steele Commager]]''' ([[25 October]] [[1902]] – [[2 March]] [[1998]]) was an American historian and teacher.

== Quotes ==
[[File:Bill of Rights Plaque.jpg|thumb|The [[Bill of Rights]] was not written to [[protect]] [[governments]] from [[trouble]]. It was written precisely to give the [[people]] the [[constitutional]] means to cause trouble for governments they no longer [[trusted]].]]
[[File:Welch-McCarthy-Hearings.jpg|thumb|What is the new [[loyalty]]? It is, above all, [[conformity]]. It is the uncritical and unquestioning acceptance of [[America]] as it is — the political institutions, the social relationships, the economic practices.]]
[[File:Little Rock integration protest.jpg|thumb|It rejects inquiry into the race question or socialized medicine, or public housing, or into the wisdom or validity of our foreign policy. It regards as particularly heinous any challenge to what is called [[Capitalism|&quot;the system of private enterprise,&quot;]] identifying that system with Americanism.]]
[[File:Flag of the United States (1912-1959).svg|thumb|It abandons evolution, repudiates the once popular concept of progress, and regards America as a finished product, perfect and complete.]]

* '''With the [[w:Sedition Act of 1918|Sedition]] and [[w:Espionage Act of 1917|Espionage Acts]] … the &quot;[[w:First Red Scare|red hysteria]]&quot; of the Twenties, the [[w:Smith Act|Alien Registration Act of 1940]], the [[loyalty]] [[tests]] and purges of the mid-Forties, the establishment of [[w:House Un-American Activities Committee|un-American Activities Committees]], [[intolerance]] received, as it were, the stamp of official approval.''' Loyalty was [[identified]] with [[conformity]], and the [[American]] [[genius]], which had been experimental and even [[rebellious]], was required to conform to a [[pattern]].
** ''The American Mind: An Interpretation of American Thought and Character Since the 1880s'' (1950)

* '''The greatest [[danger]] that threatens us is neither heterodox [[thought]] nor orthodox thought, but the [[absence]] of thought.'''
** ''Freedom, Loyalty, Dissent'' (1954)

* If [[government]], or those in positions of [[power]] and [[authority]], can silence [[criticism]] by the argument that such [[criticism]] might be misunderstood somewhere, there is an end to all criticism, and perhaps an end to our kind of [[political]] [[system]]. For '''men in authority will always think that criticism of their [[policies]] is dangerous. They will always equate their policies with [[patriotism]], and find criticism subversive.'''
** &quot;The Problem of Dissent&quot; in ''Saturday Review'', Volume 48 (December 1965), p. 81; also read into the US Congressional Record (26 June 1969)

* The [[Bill of Rights]] was not written to [[protect]] [[governments]] from [[trouble]]. It was written precisely to give the [[people]] the [[constitutional]] means to cause trouble for governments they no longer [[trusted]].
** Letter to the Editor, in ''The New York Times'' (1971)

=== Who is Loyal to America? (1947) ===
[[File:Washington Before Yorktown.jpg|thumb|Who among American [[heroes]] could meet their [[tests]], who would be cleared by their committees? Not [[George Washington|Washington]], who was a rebel.]]
:&lt;small&gt;[http://alina_stefanescu.typepad.com/files/harpersmagazine-1947-09-0033019.pdf &quot;Who is Loyal to America?&quot;, in ''Harper's Magazine'', Vol. 195, No. 1168 (September 1947)]&lt;/small&gt;

* We are shocked when we see educators, timid before [[criticism]] and confused about first [[principles]], betray their [[trust]]. And we wonder what can be that '[[philosophy]] of [[education]]' which [[believes]] that young people can be [[trained]] to the [[duties]] of [[citizenship]] by wrapping their minds in cotton wool.

* '''What is the new loyalty? It is, above all, [[conformity]]. It is the uncritical and unquestioning acceptance of [[America]] as it is — the political institutions, the social relationships, the economic practices. It rejects inquiry into the race question or socialized medicine, or public housing, or into the wisdom or validity of our foreign policy. It regards as particularly heinous any challenge to what is called [[Capitalism|&quot;the system of private enterprise,&quot;]] identifying that system with Americanism. It abandons evolution, repudiates the once popular concept of progress, and regards America as a finished product, perfect and complete.'''

* Who among American [[heroes]] could meet their [[tests]], who would be cleared by their committees? Not [[George Washington|Washington]], who was a rebel. Not [[Thomas Jefferson|Jefferson]], who wrote that all men are created equal and whose motto was &quot;rebellion to [[tyrants]] is [[obedience]] to [[God]].&quot; Not [[William Lloyd Garrison|Garrison]], who publicly burned the Constitution; or [[Wendell Phillips]], who spoke for the underprivileged everywhere and counted himself a philosophical anarchist; not [[w:William H. Seward|Seward]] of the Higher Law or [[Charles Sumner|Sumner]] of racial equality. Not [[Abraham Lincoln|Lincoln]], who admonished us to have malice toward none, charity for all; or [[Woodrow Wilson|Wilson]], who warned that our flag was &quot;a flag of liberty of opinion as well as of political liberty&quot;; or [[Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.|Justice Holmes]], who said that our Constitution is an experiment and that while that experiment is being made &quot;we should be eternally vigilant against attempts to check the expression of opinions that we loathe and believe to be fraught with death.&quot;

* '''Who are those who are really disloyal? Those who inflame racial hatreds, who sow religious and class dissensions.''' Those who subvert the Constitution by violating the freedom of the ballot box. Those who make a mockery of majority rule by the use of the filibuster. Those who impair democracy by denying equal educational facilities. Those who frustrate justice by lynch law or by making a farce of jury trials. Those who deny freedom of speech and of the press and of assembly. Those who press for special favors against the interest of the commonwealth. Those who regard public office as a source of private gain. Those who would exalt the military over the civil. Those who for selfish and private purposes stir up national antagonisms and expose the world to the ruin of war.

* The American people have a stake in the maintenance of the most thorough-going inquisition into American institutions. They have a stake in nonconformity, for they know that the American genius is nonconformist.

* '''Independence was an act of revolution; republicanism was something new under the sun; the federal system was a vast experimental laboratory.''' Physically Americans were pioneers; in the realm of social and economic institutions, too, their tradition has been one of pioneering. '''From the beginning, intellectual and spiritual diversity have been as characteristic of America as racial and linguistic.''' The most distinctively American philosophies have been [[transcendentalism]] — which is the philosophy of the Higher Law and [[pragmatism]] — which is the philosophy of experimentation and [[pluralism]]. These two principles are the very core of Americanism: the principle of the Higher Law, or of obedience to the dictates of [[conscience]] rather than of statutes, and the principle of pragmatism, or the rejection of a single good and of the notion of a finished universe. From the beginning Americans have known that there were new worlds to conquer, new truths to be discovered. Every effort to confine Americanism to a single pattern, to constrain it to a single formula, is disloyalty to everything that is valid in Americanism.

=== ''Freedom, Loyalty, Dissent'' (1954) ===
New York, NY, Oxford University Press, 1967

*Freedom in not a luxury that we can indulge in when at last we have security and prosperity and enlightenment; it is, rather, antecedent to all of these, for without it we can have neither security nor prosperity nor enlightenment. 
** pp. vii - viii

*This approach emphasizes what was once familiar enough to all Americans—and what we are now in danger of forgetting—that government derives its power from men; that rights of life and liberty are inalienable; that these rights are not something that government graciously confers upon men, but things no government can take away from men.
** p. 5

*'''If the preservation of our freedom depends upon the courts then we are, indeed, lost,''' for in the long run neither courts nor Constitution can save us from our own errors, follies, or wickedness.
** p. 6

*Uncertain of principles, we fall back on emotion; unfamiliar with the past, we are afraid of the future. Increasingly we look to men, ideas, and institutions not from the point of view of how they work, but from the point of view of how they ought to work…
** p. 11

*If you are going to penalize disloyalty, you must first determine what loyalty is; if you are going to silence nonconformity, you must determine what conformity is—and to what it conforms.
** p. 15

*The most effective censorship is not, in fact, legal; in a democracy—as Tocqueville pointed out in ''Democracy in America''—it is public opinion.
** p. 15

*'''We do not protect freedom in order to indulge error. We protect freedom in order to discover truth.'''
** p. 18

*By insisting upon conformity in the intellectual arena and by threatening with disapproval all those who dissent or who give us unpopular advice, we are in danger of following the totalitarian philosophy—and the totalitarian mistakes.
** p. 34

*We must therefore look with grave misgivings upon the psychology of the ‘crusade’ or on the notion that we can make the world over in our own image either by persuasion or by coercion.
** pp. 70-71

*There are limits on liberty, as there are limits on authority. The broad principle of those limits is generally recognized and accepted; no liberties may be exercised so as to injure others or injure the community.
** p. 77

*A nation that silences or intimidates original minds is left only with unoriginal minds and cannot hope to hold its own in the competition of peace or of war.
** p. 80

*'''The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose''', for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion,… In the long run it will create a generation incapable of appreciating the difference between independence of thought and subservience.
** p. 82, p. 88

*The search for subversives results in the intimidation of the independent, the original, the imaginative, and the experimental-minded… '''It discourages the discussion of controversial matters in the classroom, for such discussion may be reported, or misreported, and cause trouble'''.
** p. 88

*We should not forget that our tradition is one of protest and revolt, and it is stultifying to celebrate the rebels of the past—Jefferson and Paine, Emerson and Thoreau—while we silence the rebels of the present. 
** p. 147

*But '''if our democracy is to flourish it must have criticism, if our government is to function it must have dissent.''' Only totalitarian governments insist upon conformity and they—as we know—do so at their peril.
** p. 153

*'''Loyalty… is a realization that America was born of revolt, flourished in dissent, became great through experimentation.'''
** p. 154

== External links==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.commager.org Henry Steele Commager Official Site]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Commager, Henry Steele}}
[[Category:People from Pittsburgh]]
[[Category:People from Toledo, Ohio]]
[[Category:People from Chicago]]
[[Category:Historians from the United States]]
[[Category:Essayists from the United States]]
[[Category:Educators from the United States]]
[[Category:1902 births]]
[[Category:1998 deaths]]</text>
      <sha1>gkuzrt2dbdal3qdztkvjplviwc1uij0</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>The Ren &amp; Stimpy Show</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>8160</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944079</id>
      <parentid>3935637</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T23:08:26Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* External Links */</comment>
      <origin>3944079</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1621" sha1="4h6tkud9k55x5s403ountv6urgmlykz" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
{{Ren &amp; Stimpy header}}
[[File:The Ren &amp; Stimpy Show Modern logo.png|thumb|Oh, joy!!]]
'''''[[w:The Ren &amp; Stimpy Show|The Ren &amp; Stimpy Show]]''''' is a television series created by John Kricfalusi for '''''[[W:Nickelodeon|Nickelodeon]]''''' in English, in the United States, and was debuted on August 11, 1991, and ended on October 20, 1996. And the show follows the adventures of titular characters Ren, an emotionally unstable, hot-tempered, psychotic, and ''asthma-hound'' chihuahua, and Stimpy, a good-natured, dimwitted, and happy-go-lucky Manx cat.

==Repeated Quotes==
*'''Ren''': YOU....!
*'''Stimpy''': Oh, joy!!
*'''Mr. Horse''': No, sir. I didn't love it.
*'''Powdered Toast Man''': POWDERED TOAST MAN!

== See also ==
* ''[[Ren &amp; Stimpy &quot;Adult Party Cartoon&quot;]]''

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Ren &amp; Stimpy Show, The}}
[[Category:The Ren &amp; Stimpy Show]]
[[Category:1990s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:1990s Canadian animated TV shows]]
[[Category:1990s American surreal comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:1990s American sitcoms]]
[[Category:1990s Nickelodeon original series]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Canadian animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:Canadian animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American animated sitcoms]]
[[Category:Canadian animated sitcoms]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Nicktoons]]
[[Category:MTV shows]]
[[Category:Paramount Network shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about cats]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about dogs]]</text>
      <sha1>4h6tkud9k55x5s403ountv6urgmlykz</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944080</id>
      <parentid>3944079</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T23:10:51Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944080</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1623" sha1="163bmsrbryy783yd9z7bwh4bkujt82f" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
{{Ren &amp; Stimpy header}}
[[File:The Ren &amp; Stimpy Show Modern logo.png|thumb|Oh, joy!!!]]
'''''[[w:The Ren &amp; Stimpy Show|The Ren &amp; Stimpy Show]]''''' is a television series created by John Kricfalusi for '''''[[W:Nickelodeon|Nickelodeon]]''''' in English, in the United States, and was debuted on August 11, 1991, and ended on October 20, 1996. And the show follows the adventures of titular characters Ren, an emotionally unstable, hot-tempered, psychotic, and ''asthma-hound'' chihuahua, and Stimpy, a good-natured, dimwitted, and happy-go-lucky Manx cat.

==Repeated Quotes==
*'''Ren''': YOU....!
*'''Stimpy''': Oh, joy!!!
*'''Mr. Horse''': No, sir. I didn't love it.
*'''Powdered Toast Man''': POWDERED TOAST MAN!

== See also ==
* ''[[Ren &amp; Stimpy &quot;Adult Party Cartoon&quot;]]''

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Ren &amp; Stimpy Show, The}}
[[Category:The Ren &amp; Stimpy Show]]
[[Category:1990s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:1990s Canadian animated TV shows]]
[[Category:1990s American surreal comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:1990s American sitcoms]]
[[Category:1990s Nickelodeon original series]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Canadian animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:Canadian animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American animated sitcoms]]
[[Category:Canadian animated sitcoms]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Nicktoons]]
[[Category:MTV shows]]
[[Category:Paramount Network shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about cats]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about dogs]]</text>
      <sha1>163bmsrbryy783yd9z7bwh4bkujt82f</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Arthur (TV series)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>12576</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943956</id>
      <parentid>3935487</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T14:25:58Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943956</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="6002" sha1="em6a4vuk2x7z4r2e9kn1kemo4bwgo88" xml:space="preserve">'''Seasons''': [[Arthur (Season 1)|1]] / [[Arthur (Season 2)|2]] / [[Arthur (Season 3)|3]] / [[Arthur (Season 4)|4]] / [[Arthur (Season 5)|5]] / [[Arthur (Season 6)|6]] / [[Arthur (Season 7)|7]] / [[Arthur (Season 8)|8]] / [[Arthur (Season 9)|9]] / [[Arthur (Season 10)|10]] / [[Arthur (Season 11)|11]] / [[Arthur (Season 12)|12]] / [[Arthur (Season 13)|13]] / [[Arthur (Season 14)|14]] / [[Arthur (Season 15)|15]] / [[Arthur (Season 16)|16]] / [[Arthur (Season 17)|17]] / [[Arthur (Season 18)|18]] / [[Arthur (Season 19)|19]] / [[Arthur (Season 20)|20]] / [[Arthur (Season 21)|21]] / [[Arthur (Season 22)|22]] / [[Arthur (Season 23)|23]] / [[Arthur (Season 24)|24]] / [[Arthur (Season 25)|25]] / [[Arthur (Specials)|Specials]] / [[Arthur (Commercials)|Commercials]] | [[Arthur (TV series)|Main]]
--------
[[File:ArthurTVLogo.svg|thumb]]
{{clear}}
{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Arthur (TV series)|Arthur]]''''' (produced: 1993-2022, aired: 1996-2022 (United States); produced: 1993-2022, aired: 1996-2023 (Canada); produced: 1993-2022, aired: 1996-2023 (Quebec)) is a English (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022)-French (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022)-Hindi (Seasons 10-15) (2006-2012)-Chinese (Seasons 12-15) (2008-2012) language American (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022)-Canadian (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022)-Quebecois (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022)-Indian (Seasons 10-15) (2006-2012)-Mandarin Chinese (Seasons 12-15) (2008-2012)-Chinese (Seasons 12-15) (2008-2012)-Hong Kong Cantonese (Seasons 12-15) (2008-2012) children's 2D animated (traditional, hand-drawn 2D animation (digital inking-and-painting, and coloring animation) (Seasons 1-15) (1996-2012)/2D Flash animation (Seasons 16-25) (2012-2022) (Adobe Flash (Seasons 16-19) (2012-2016)/Adobe Flash Professional (Seasons 16-19) (2012-2016)/Adobe Flash Player (Seasons 16-19) (2012-2016))/Toon Boom Animation (Seasons 20-25) (2016-2022) (Toon Boom Harmony (Seasons 20-25) (2016-2022))/Cutout animation (Seasons 20-25) (2016-2022)/Puppet animation (Seasons 20-25) (2016-2022))-live-action (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022) educational television series, on PBS, from 1996 to 2022, on TVOntario/TVO, from 1996 to 2023, and on TFO, from 1996 to 2023, about a young third-grade aardvark named Arthur Read and his friends, which include his child relatives, who deal with the various troubles of childhood. The show was produced, and co-produced by WGBH Kids (Seasons 12-25) (2008-2022)/GBH Kids (Season 25) (2022), a division of WGBH Boston (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022)/GBH (Seasons 24-25) (2021-2022) in the United States, CINAR Productions (Seasons 1-8) (1996-2003), and Horn Rims Productions (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022), subsidiaries of CINAR (Seasons 1-8) (1996-2003) (CINAR Films (Seasons 1-3) (1996-1999)/CINAR Corporation (Seasons 2-8) (1997-2003))/Cookie Jar Entertainment (Seasons 9-15) (2004-2012), and later DHX Media (Seasons 16-23) (2012-2019)/WildBrain (Seasons 24-25) (2021-2022) in Canada, and Quebec, Marc Brown Studios (Seasons 5-25) (2000-2022) in the United States, and later Animation Services (Hong Kong), Ltd. (Seasons 12-15) (2008-2012) in China, and Hong Kong, in association with DQ Entertainment (Seasons 10-15) (2006-2012) in India, and distributed by CINAR (Seasons 1-8) (1996-2003) (CINAR Films (Seasons 1-3) (1996-1999)/CINAR Corporation (Seasons 2-8) (1997-2003))/Cookie Jar Entertainment (Seasons 9-15) (2004-2012), and later DHX Media (Seasons 16-23) (2012-2019)/WildBrain (Seasons 24-25) (2021-2022) in Canada, and Quebec, and WGBH Boston (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022)/GBH (Seasons 24-25) (2021-2022) in the United States, and was aired on PBS (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022) (PTV/PTV Park (1996-1999) (Seasons 1-3)/PBS Kids (1999-2022) (Seasons 4-25)) in English, in the United States, and TVOntario/TVO (TVOKids) (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2023) in English, in Canada, and La Chaine TVO (Season 1) (1996-1997)/TFO (Seasons 2-25) (1997-2023) (Mega TFO (Seasons 1-16) (1996-2013)/Flip TFO (Seasons 16-25) (2013-2023)) in French, in Canada, and Quebec, and was debuted on October 7, 1996, and ended on February 21, 2022. The show was aimed at older children in school ages, and from ages 4 to 11.

==Featured Cast==
*Michael Yarmush - Arthur (Seasons 1-5, Arthur's Perfect Christmas)
*Justin Bradley - Arthur (Season 6)
*Mark Rendall - Arthur (Seasons 7-8, redubbed Season 6)
*Cameron Ansell - Arthur (Seasons 9-11)
*Dallas Jokic - Arthur (Seasons 12-15)
*Drew Adkins - Arthur (Seasons 16-17)
*William Healy - Arthur (Seasons 18-19)
*Jacob Ursomarzo - Arthur (Seasons 20-21)
*Roman Lutterotti - Arthur (Seasons 22-25)

==External links== 
{{wikipedia|Arthur (TV series)}}
*[http://pbskids.org/arthur/ Official Website]
*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0169414/ IMDb]
*[http://www.tv.com/arthur/show/2804/summary.html TV.com]

[[Category:1990s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2000s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:1990s Canadian animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2000s Canadian animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s Canadian animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s Canadian animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated education TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American TV shows based on children's books]]
[[Category:American TV shows with live action and animation]]
[[Category:Canadian children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:Canadian children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:Canadian children's animated education TV shows]]
[[Category:Canadian children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:Canadian TV shows based on children's books]]
[[Category:Canadian TV shows with live action and animation]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:PBS shows]]
[[Category:PBS Kids shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]</text>
      <sha1>em6a4vuk2x7z4r2e9kn1kemo4bwgo88</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943960</id>
      <parentid>3943956</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T14:34:50Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943960</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="6009" sha1="ls1mhkd6p2u42cw18za43h9cqoezxur" xml:space="preserve">'''Seasons''': [[Arthur (Season 1)|1]] / [[Arthur (Season 2)|2]] / [[Arthur (Season 3)|3]] / [[Arthur (Season 4)|4]] / [[Arthur (Season 5)|5]] / [[Arthur (Season 6)|6]] / [[Arthur (Season 7)|7]] / [[Arthur (Season 8)|8]] / [[Arthur (Season 9)|9]] / [[Arthur (Season 10)|10]] / [[Arthur (Season 11)|11]] / [[Arthur (Season 12)|12]] / [[Arthur (Season 13)|13]] / [[Arthur (Season 14)|14]] / [[Arthur (Season 15)|15]] / [[Arthur (Season 16)|16]] / [[Arthur (Season 17)|17]] / [[Arthur (Season 18)|18]] / [[Arthur (Season 19)|19]] / [[Arthur (Season 20)|20]] / [[Arthur (Season 21)|21]] / [[Arthur (Season 22)|22]] / [[Arthur (Season 23)|23]] / [[Arthur (Season 24)|24]] / [[Arthur (Season 25)|25]] / [[Arthur (Specials)|Specials]] / [[Arthur (Commercials)|Commercials]] | [[Arthur (TV series)|Main]]
--------
[[File:ArthurTVLogo.svg|thumb]]
{{clear}}
{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Arthur (TV series)|Arthur]]''''' (produced: 1993-2022, aired: 1996-2022 (United States); produced: 1993-2022, aired: 1996-2023 (Canada); produced: 1993-2022, aired: 1996-2023 (Quebec)) is a English (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022)-French (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022)-Hindi (Seasons 10-15) (2006-2012)-Chinese (Seasons 12-15) (2008-2012) language American (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022)-Canadian (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022)-Quebecois (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022)-Indian (Seasons 10-15) (2006-2012)-Mandarin Chinese (Seasons 12-15) (2008-2012)-Chinese (Seasons 12-15) (2008-2012)-Hong Kong Cantonese (Seasons 12-15) (2008-2012) children's 2D animated (traditional, hand-drawn 2D animation (digital inking-and-painting, and coloring animation) (Seasons 1-15) (1996-2012)/2D Flash animation (Seasons 16-25) (2012-2022) (Adobe Flash (Seasons 16-19) (2012-2016)/Adobe Flash Professional (Seasons 16-19) (2012-2016)/Adobe Flash Player (Seasons 16-19) (2012-2016))/Toon Boom Animation (Seasons 20-25) (2016-2022) (Toon Boom Harmony (Seasons 20-25) (2016-2022))/Cutout animation (Seasons 20-25) (2016-2022)/Puppet animation (Seasons 20-25) (2016-2022))-live-action (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022) educational television series, on PBS, from 1996 to 2022, on TVOntario/TVO, from 1996 to 2023, and on TFO, from 1996 to 2023, about a young third-grade aardvark named Arthur Read and his friends, which include his child relatives, who deal with the various troubles of childhood. The show was produced, and co-produced by WGBH Kids (Seasons 12-25) (2008-2022)/GBH Kids (Season 25) (2022), a division of WGBH Boston (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022)/GBH (Seasons 24-25) (2021-2022) in the United States, CINAR Productions (Seasons 1-8) (1996-2003), and Horn Rims Productions (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022), subsidiaries of CINAR (Seasons 1-8) (1996-2003) (CINAR Films (Seasons 1-3) (1996-1999)/CINAR Corporation (Seasons 2-8) (1997-2003))/Cookie Jar Entertainment (Seasons 9-15) (2004-2012), and later DHX Media (Seasons 16-23) (2012-2019)/WildBrain (Seasons 24-25) (2021-2022) in Canada, and Quebec, Marc Brown Studios (Seasons 5-25) (2000-2022) in the United States, and later Animation Services (Hong Kong), Ltd. (Seasons 12-15) (2008-2012) in China, and Hong Kong, in association with DQ Entertainment (Seasons 10-15) (2006-2012) in India, and distributed by CINAR (Seasons 1-8) (1996-2003) (CINAR Films (Seasons 1-3) (1996-1999)/CINAR Corporation (Seasons 2-8) (1997-2003))/Cookie Jar Entertainment (Seasons 9-15) (2004-2012), and later DHX Media (Seasons 16-23) (2012-2019)/WildBrain (Seasons 24-25) (2021-2022) in Canada, and Quebec, and WGBH Boston (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022)/GBH (Seasons 24-25) (2021-2022) in the United States, and was aired on PBS (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022) (PTV/PTV Park (1996-1999) (Seasons 1-3)/PBS Kids (1999-2022) (Seasons 4-25)) in English, in the United States, and TVOntario/TVO (TVOKids) (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2023) in English, in Canada, and La Chaine TVO (Season 1) (1996-1997)/TFO (Seasons 2-25) (1997-2023) (Mega TFO (Seasons 1-16) (1996-2013)/Flip TFO (Seasons 16-25) (2013-2023)) in French, in Canada, and Quebec, and was debuted on October 7, 1996, and ended on February 21, 2022. The show was aimed at older children in middle school ages, and from ages 4 to 11.

==Featured Cast==
*Michael Yarmush - Arthur (Seasons 1-5, Arthur's Perfect Christmas)
*Justin Bradley - Arthur (Season 6)
*Mark Rendall - Arthur (Seasons 7-8, redubbed Season 6)
*Cameron Ansell - Arthur (Seasons 9-11)
*Dallas Jokic - Arthur (Seasons 12-15)
*Drew Adkins - Arthur (Seasons 16-17)
*William Healy - Arthur (Seasons 18-19)
*Jacob Ursomarzo - Arthur (Seasons 20-21)
*Roman Lutterotti - Arthur (Seasons 22-25)

==External links== 
{{wikipedia|Arthur (TV series)}}
*[http://pbskids.org/arthur/ Official Website]
*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0169414/ IMDb]
*[http://www.tv.com/arthur/show/2804/summary.html TV.com]

[[Category:1990s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2000s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:1990s Canadian animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2000s Canadian animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s Canadian animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s Canadian animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated education TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American TV shows based on children's books]]
[[Category:American TV shows with live action and animation]]
[[Category:Canadian children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:Canadian children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:Canadian children's animated education TV shows]]
[[Category:Canadian children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:Canadian TV shows based on children's books]]
[[Category:Canadian TV shows with live action and animation]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:PBS shows]]
[[Category:PBS Kids shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]</text>
      <sha1>ls1mhkd6p2u42cw18za43h9cqoezxur</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943962</id>
      <parentid>3943960</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T14:39:50Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943962</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="6084" sha1="8ghq2mqut0qba1xks9a81f6hhaxtspc" xml:space="preserve">'''Seasons''': [[Arthur (Season 1)|1]] / [[Arthur (Season 2)|2]] / [[Arthur (Season 3)|3]] / [[Arthur (Season 4)|4]] / [[Arthur (Season 5)|5]] / [[Arthur (Season 6)|6]] / [[Arthur (Season 7)|7]] / [[Arthur (Season 8)|8]] / [[Arthur (Season 9)|9]] / [[Arthur (Season 10)|10]] / [[Arthur (Season 11)|11]] / [[Arthur (Season 12)|12]] / [[Arthur (Season 13)|13]] / [[Arthur (Season 14)|14]] / [[Arthur (Season 15)|15]] / [[Arthur (Season 16)|16]] / [[Arthur (Season 17)|17]] / [[Arthur (Season 18)|18]] / [[Arthur (Season 19)|19]] / [[Arthur (Season 20)|20]] / [[Arthur (Season 21)|21]] / [[Arthur (Season 22)|22]] / [[Arthur (Season 23)|23]] / [[Arthur (Season 24)|24]] / [[Arthur (Season 25)|25]] / [[Arthur (Specials)|Specials]] / [[Arthur (Commercials)|Commercials]] | [[Arthur (TV series)|Main]]
--------
[[File:ArthurTVLogo.svg|thumb]]
{{clear}}
{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Arthur (TV series)|Arthur]]''''' (pre-produced: 1993-2022, produced: 1995-2022, aired: 1996-2022 (United States); pre-produced: 1993-2022, produced: 1995-2022, aired: 1996-2023 (Canada); pre-produced: 1993-2022, produced: 1995-2022, aired: 1996-2023 (Quebec)) is a English (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022)-French (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022)-Hindi (Seasons 10-15) (2006-2012)-Chinese (Seasons 12-15) (2008-2012) language American (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022)-Canadian (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022)-Quebecois (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022)-Indian (Seasons 10-15) (2006-2012)-Mandarin Chinese (Seasons 12-15) (2008-2012)-Chinese (Seasons 12-15) (2008-2012)-Hong Kong Cantonese (Seasons 12-15) (2008-2012) children's 2D animated (traditional, hand-drawn 2D animation (digital inking-and-painting, and coloring animation) (Seasons 1-15) (1996-2012)/2D Flash animation (Seasons 16-25) (2012-2022) (Adobe Flash (Seasons 16-19) (2012-2016)/Adobe Flash Professional (Seasons 16-19) (2012-2016)/Adobe Flash Player (Seasons 16-19) (2012-2016))/Toon Boom Animation (Seasons 20-25) (2016-2022) (Toon Boom Harmony (Seasons 20-25) (2016-2022))/Cutout animation (Seasons 20-25) (2016-2022)/Puppet animation (Seasons 20-25) (2016-2022))-live-action (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022) educational television series, on PBS, from 1996 to 2022, on TVOntario/TVO, from 1996 to 2023, and on TFO, from 1996 to 2023, about a young third-grade aardvark named Arthur Read and his friends, which include his child relatives, who deal with the various troubles of childhood. The show was produced, and co-produced by WGBH Kids (Seasons 12-25) (2008-2022)/GBH Kids (Season 25) (2022), a division of WGBH Boston (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022)/GBH (Seasons 24-25) (2021-2022) in the United States, CINAR Productions (Seasons 1-8) (1996-2003), and Horn Rims Productions (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022), subsidiaries of CINAR (Seasons 1-8) (1996-2003) (CINAR Films (Seasons 1-3) (1996-1999)/CINAR Corporation (Seasons 2-8) (1997-2003))/Cookie Jar Entertainment (Seasons 9-15) (2004-2012), and later DHX Media (Seasons 16-23) (2012-2019)/WildBrain (Seasons 24-25) (2021-2022) in Canada, and Quebec, Marc Brown Studios (Seasons 5-25) (2000-2022) in the United States, and later Animation Services (Hong Kong), Ltd. (Seasons 12-15) (2008-2012) in China, and Hong Kong, in association with DQ Entertainment (Seasons 10-15) (2006-2012) in India, and distributed by CINAR (Seasons 1-8) (1996-2003) (CINAR Films (Seasons 1-3) (1996-1999)/CINAR Corporation (Seasons 2-8) (1997-2003))/Cookie Jar Entertainment (Seasons 9-15) (2004-2012), and later DHX Media (Seasons 16-23) (2012-2019)/WildBrain (Seasons 24-25) (2021-2022) in Canada, and Quebec, and WGBH Boston (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022)/GBH (Seasons 24-25) (2021-2022) in the United States, and was aired on PBS (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2022) (PTV/PTV Park (1996-1999) (Seasons 1-3)/PBS Kids (1999-2022) (Seasons 4-25)) in English, in the United States, and TVOntario/TVO (TVOKids) (Seasons 1-25) (1996-2023) in English, in Canada, and La Chaine TVO (Season 1) (1996-1997)/TFO (Seasons 2-25) (1997-2023) (Mega TFO (Seasons 1-16) (1996-2013)/Flip TFO (Seasons 16-25) (2013-2023)) in French, in Canada, and Quebec, and was debuted on October 7, 1996, and ended on February 21, 2022. The show was aimed at older children in middle school ages, and from ages 4 to 11.

==Featured Cast==
*Michael Yarmush - Arthur (Seasons 1-5, Arthur's Perfect Christmas)
*Justin Bradley - Arthur (Season 6)
*Mark Rendall - Arthur (Seasons 7-8, redubbed Season 6)
*Cameron Ansell - Arthur (Seasons 9-11)
*Dallas Jokic - Arthur (Seasons 12-15)
*Drew Adkins - Arthur (Seasons 16-17)
*William Healy - Arthur (Seasons 18-19)
*Jacob Ursomarzo - Arthur (Seasons 20-21)
*Roman Lutterotti - Arthur (Seasons 22-25)

==External links== 
{{wikipedia|Arthur (TV series)}}
*[http://pbskids.org/arthur/ Official Website]
*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0169414/ IMDb]
*[http://www.tv.com/arthur/show/2804/summary.html TV.com]

[[Category:1990s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2000s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:1990s Canadian animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2000s Canadian animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s Canadian animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s Canadian animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated education TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American TV shows based on children's books]]
[[Category:American TV shows with live action and animation]]
[[Category:Canadian children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:Canadian children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:Canadian children's animated education TV shows]]
[[Category:Canadian children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:Canadian TV shows based on children's books]]
[[Category:Canadian TV shows with live action and animation]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:PBS shows]]
[[Category:PBS Kids shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]</text>
      <sha1>8ghq2mqut0qba1xks9a81f6hhaxtspc</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Beauty and the Beast (1991 film)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>12786</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944003</id>
      <parentid>3942919</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T18:03:23Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-26235-05</username>
        <id>3314792</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <origin>3944003</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="97621" sha1="nu6qcfb6l81h5xn854uhlzs5veqxdqc" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
[[File:Beauty and the Beast in a Disneyland parade.JPG|thumb|right|In a Walt Disney World parade.]]
'''''[[w:Beauty and the Beast (1991 film)|The Beauty and the Beast]]''''', also known as simply '''''Beauty and the Beast''''', '''''The Beauty and Beast''''' or '''''Beauty and Beast''''', is an American [[w:1991 in film|1991 animated film]] about a prince cursed to spend his days as a hideous monster who sets out to regain his humanity by earning a young woman's love. It was produced by [[w:Walt Disney Animation Studios|Walt Disney Feature Animation]] and released by [[w:Walt Disney Pictures|Walt Disney Pictures]].
:''Directed by [[w:Gary Trousdale|Gary Trousdale]] and [[w:Kirk Wise|Kirk Wise]]. Written by [[w:Linda Woolverton|Linda Woolverton]]''.
:''Music by [[Alan Menken]]'' and includes &quot;[[w:Beauty and the Beast (Disney song)|Beauty and the Beast]]&quot;. Written by [[w:Howard Ashman|Howard Ashman]] and performed by [[w:Peabo Brysonf|Peabo Bryson]] and [[w:Celine Dion|Celine Dion]].
{{center|'''The most beautiful love story ever told.'''}}

== Belle ==
* What is this place? Phillipe, please, steady. ''[enters the gate and sees Maurice's hat on the ground]'' Papa.
* That's funny, I'm sure there was someone... I-I-Is there anyone here?
* He's no monster, Gaston. You are!
* ''[gasps]''  No... no! No, please... Please don't leave me... ''[she sobs softly, laying her face against his chest]'' I love you...

== Prince Adam/The Beast ==
* Yes... but you must promise to stay here forever.
* The castle is your home now, so you can go anywhere you like, except the west wing. ''['''Belle''': What's in the West--] [growls]'' It's forbidden!
* You will join me for dinner! THAT'S NOT A REQUEST!

== Gaston ==
* ''['''LeFou''': So, how'd it go?]'' I'll have Belle for my wife. Make no mistake about that.
* Take whatever booty you can find, but remember, the Beast is mine!
* If I didn't know better, I'd think you had feelings for this monster.
* What's the matter, Beast? Too kind and gentle to fight back?

== Lumière ==
* Ma chère, mademoiselle. It is with deepest pride pleasure and greatest pride that I welcome you tonight. And now, we invite you to relax. Let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents...your dinner.
* Don't you see? She's the one. The girl we have been waiting for. She has come to break the spell!

== Cogsworth ==
* Couldn't keep quiet, could we? Just had to invite him to stay, didn't we? Serve him tea, sit in the master's chair, pet the pooch.
* Dinner is served.

== Mrs. Potts ==
* How would you like a nice spot of tea, sir? It'll warm you up in no time.
* Well, you can start by making yourself more presentable. Straighten up, try to act like a gentleman.

== Chip Potts ==
* Mama. There's a girl in the castle.
* You guys gotta try this thing.

== Maurice ==
* If no one will help me, then I'll go back alone. Yes, is that everything? I don't care what it takes. I'll find that castle and somehow, I... I'll get her out of there.
* Hitch up Philippe, girl. I'm off to the fair!

== Others ==
* '''Tavern Man''': Maurice?
* '''Monsieur D'Arque''': So you want me to throw her father in the asylum unless she agrees to marry you? ''[They both nod in agreement]'' Oh, that is despicable. I love it!
* '''Tom''': Who?
* '''Dick''': Is it a big beast?
* '''Stanley''': With a long, ugly snout?
* '''Walter''': And sharp, cruel fangs?

== Dialogue ==
:'''Narrator''': ''[first lines]'' Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a young prince lived in a shining castle. Although he had everything his heart desired, the prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind. But then, one winter's night, an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold. Repulsed by her haggard appearance, the prince sneered at the gift and turned the old woman away, but she warned him not to be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within. And when he dismissed her again, the old woman's ugliness melted away to reveal a beautiful enchantress. The prince tried to apologize, but it was too late, for she had seen that there was no love in his heart, and as punishment, she transformed him into a hideous beast, and placed a powerful spell on the castle, and all who lived there. Ashamed of his monstrous form, the beast concealed himself inside his castle, with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose, which would bloom until his 21st year. If he could learn to love another, and earn her love in return by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years passed, he fell into despair, and lost all hope, for who could ever learn to love a beast?
:''[We have seen a progression of stained glass windows illustrating the narration, as well as Beast shredding his portrait, the camera slowly zooms out from the castle. A girl with beautiful, long, flowing and wavy brown hair tied up in a low ponytail tied up by a ribbon  captivating, large, striking, expressive and round hazel eyes, full pink lips, fair skin, rosy cheeks, full, soft and slightly arched eyebrows, small and petite duchess nose, a heart-shaped round face and a sculpted, slim and well-proportioned figure, wearing a medium-length cerulean blue sleeveless dress with a white long puffy-sleeved shirt with a puffy collar underneath, a white apron around her waist, a white petticoat, and dark brown ballet flats with darker brown soles on her feet, her name is Belle. She exits the front door and begins her walk into town]''
:'''Belle''': ''[singing]'' Little town, it's a quiet village / Every day, like the one before / Little town, full of little people / Waking up to say?
:'''Townsfolk #1''': Bonjour!
:'''Townsfolk #2''': Bonjour!
:'''Townsfolk #3''': Bonjour!
:'''Townsfolk #4''':  Bonjour!
:'''Townsfolk #5''':  Bonjour!
:'''Belle''': ''[singing]'' There goes the baker with his tray like always / The same old bread and rolls to sell / Every mornin' just the same / Since the mornin' that we came / To this poor provincial town...
:'''Baker''': Good mornin', Belle!
:''[Belle jumps over to the bakery]''
:'''Belle''': Mornin' monsieur!
:'''Baker''': Where are you off to?
:'''Belle''': The bookshop! I just finished the most wonderful story, about a beanstalk and an ogre and...
:'''Baker''': ''[ignoring her]'' That's nice...Marie, the baguettes! Hurry up!!
:'''Townsfolk''': Look there she goes, that girl is strange no question / Dazed and distracted, can't you tell?
:'''Woman #1''': Never part of any crowd
:'''Barber''': Cause her head's up on some cloud
:'''Townsfolk''': No denying she's a funny girl, that Belle!
:'''Driver''': Bonjour!
:'''Woman #2''': Good day!
:'''Driver''': How is your family?
:'''Woman #3''': Bonjour!
:'''Merchant''': Good day!
:'''Woman #3''': How is your wife?
:'''Woman #4''': I need six eggs!
:'''Man #1''': That's too expensive!
:'''Belle''': There must be more than this provincial life!
:''[Belle enters the bookshop]''
:'''Bookseller''': Ah, Belle!
:'''Belle''': Good mornin'. I've come to return the book I borrowed.
:'''Bookseller''': ''[putting the book back on the shelf]'' Finished already?
:'''Belle''': Oh, I couldn't put it down! Have you got anything new?
:'''Bookseller''': ''[laughing]'' Not since yesterday.
:'''Belle''': ''[on ladder of bookshelf]'' That's all right. I'll borrow... this one.
:'''Bookseller''': That one? But you've read it twice!
:'''Belle''': Well, it's my favorite! ''[Belle swings off side of ladder, rolling down it's track]'' Far off places, daring swordfights, magic spells, a prince in disguise!
:'''Bookseller''': ''[handing her the book]'' Well, if you like it all that much, it's yours!
:'''Belle''': But sir!
:'''Bookseller''': I insist!
:'''Belle''': Well, thank you. Thank you, very much! ''[leaves bookshop]''
:'''Men''': ''[looking in window, then turning to watch her]'' Look there she goes / That girl is so peculiar! / I wonder if she's feeling well!
:'''Women''': With a dreamy far-off look!
:'''Men''': And her nose stuck in a book!
:'''All''': What a puzzle to the rest of us is Belle! ''[Belle sits on the edge of a fountain, singing to a flock of sheep and the washing woman in the background, who leaves]''
:'''Belle''': Ohhhhh, isn't this amazing! / It's my favorite part because, you'll see! / Here's where she meets Prince Charming / But she won't discover that it's him 'til chapter three!
:'''Woman #5''': Now it's no wonder that her name means 'beauty' / Her looks have got no parallel!
:'''Merchant''': But behind that fair facade / I'm afraid she's rather odd / Very different from the rest of us...
:'''All''': She's nothing like the rest of us / Yes different from the rest of us is Belle.
:'''LeFou''': ''[first words]'' Wow! You didn't miss a shot, Gaston! You're the greatest hunter in the whole world!
:'''Gaston''': ''[first words]'' I know!
:'''LeFou''': Huh. No beast alive stands a chance against you...and no girl for that matter!
:'''Gaston''': It's true, LeFou, and I've got my sights set on that one! ''[pointing to Belle]''
:'''LeFou''': The inventor's daughter?
:'''Gaston''': She's the one! The lucky girl I'm going to marry.
:'''LeFou''': But she's--
:'''Gaston''': The most beautiful girl in town.
:'''LeFou''': I know--
:'''Gaston''': And that makes her the best. And don't I deserve the best?
:'''LeFou''': Well of course, I mean you do, but I mean...
:'''Gaston''': ''[singing]'' Right from the moment when I met her, saw her / I said she's gorgeous and I fell / Here in town there's only she ''[Belle walks by and away]'' / Who is beautiful as me / So I'm making plans to woo and marry Belle.
:'''Bimbettes''': Look there he goes, isn't he dreamy / Monsieur Gaston, oh he's so cute / Be still my heart, I'm hardly breathing / He's such a tall, dark, strong and handsome brute. ''[Belle walks easily through the crowd of people in the town, Gaston struggles to catch up to her]''
:'''Man #1''': Bonjour!
:'''Man #2''': Good day!
:'''Man #3''': Mais oui!
:'''Woman #1''': You call this bacon?
:'''Woman #2''': What lovely grapes!
:'''Man #4''': Some cheese!
:'''Woman #3''': 10 yards!
:'''Man #4''': 1 pound!
:'''Gaston''': Excuse me!
:'''Man #4''': I'll get the knife!
:'''Gaston''': Please let me through!
:'''Woman #4''': This bread, it's stale!
:'''Man #5''': Those fish! They smell!
:'''Man #6''': Madame's mistaken!
:'''Belle''': ''[singing]'' There must be more than this provincial life!
:'''Gaston''': ''[singing]'' Just watch I'm going to make Belle my wife! ''[Townsfolk gather around Gaston, and eventually surround him]''
:'''Chorus''': Look there she goes a girl who's strange but special / A most peculiar mademoiselle / It's a pity and a sin / She doesn't quite fit in! / 'Cause she really is a funny girl! / A beauty but a funny girl / She really is a funny girl! / That Belle!?
:'''Gaston''': Bonjour! Whoa-oh! ''[song ends; to Belle]'' Hello, Belle.
:'''Belle''': Bonjour, Gaston. ''[Gaston grabs the book from Belle]'' Gaston, may I have my book, please?
:'''Gaston''': How can you read this? There's no pictures!
:'''Belle''': Well, some people use their imagination.
:'''Gaston''': Belle, it's about time you got your head out of those books, ''[tossing book into the mud]'' and paid attention to more important things. Like me. The whole town's talking about it. ''[The Bimbettes, who are looking on, sighing romantically. Belle has picked up the book and is cleaning off the mud]'' It's not right for a woman to read. Soon she starts getting ideas and thinking.
:'''Belle''': Gaston, you are positively primeval.
:'''Gaston''': ''[putting his hand around her shoulders]'' Why, thank you, Belle. What do you say you and me take a walk over to the tavern, and take a look at my trophies?
:'''Belle''': Maybe some other time.
:'''Bimbette #1''': What's the matter with her?
:'''Bimbette #2''': She's crazy!
:'''Bimbette #3''': He's gorgeous.
:'''Belle''': Please, Gaston, I can't. I have to get home to help my father. Goodbye.
:'''LeFou''': Ha ha ha, that crazy old loon, he needs all the help he can get! ''[he and Gaston laugh heartily]''
:'''Belle''': ''[angrily]'' Don't you talk about my father that way.
:'''Gaston''': Yeah, don't talk about her father that way! ''[conks LeFou on the head]''
:'''Belle''': My father's not crazy! He's a genius! ''[explosion in background. Gaston and LeFou continue laughing. She rushes home and descends into the basement; coughed]'' Papa?!
:'''Maurice''': How on earth did that happen? ''[Belle coughs again]'' Doggone it! ''[pulls the barrel off his waist, along with his pants]''
:'''Belle''': Are you alright, Papa?
:'''Maurice''': I'm about ready to give up on this hunk of junk! ''[kicks the machine]''
:'''Belle''': You always say that.
:'''Maurice''': I mean it this time! I'll never get this boneheaded contraption to work!
:'''Belle''': Yes, you will. And you'll win first prize at the fair tomorrow. 
:'''Maurice''': Hmmmph!
:'''Belle''': And become a world-famous inventor.
:'''Maurice''': You really believe that?
:'''Belle''': I always have.
:'''Maurice''': Well, what are we waitin' for? I'll have this thin' fixed in no time. Hand me that... The dog-legged clincher there. So, did you have a good time in town today?
:'''Belle''': I got a new book. Papa, do you think I'm odd?
:'''Maurice''': My daughter? Odd? Ha! Where would you get an idea like that?
:'''Belle''': I don't know. It's just that I'm not sure I fit in here. There's no one I can really talk to.
:'''Maurice''': What about that Gaston? He's a handsome fella.
:'''Belle''': He's handsome, all right, and rude and conceited and... Oh, Papa, he's not for me.
:'''Maurice''': Well, don't you worry. Cause this invention's gonna be the start of a new life for us. ''[comes out from under machine]'' I think that's done it. Now, let's give it a try.
:''[Machine whirs and chops wood, just as it should]''
:'''Belle''': It works!
:'''Maurice''': It does? It does!
:'''Belle''': You did it! You really did it!
:'''Maurice''': Hitch up Philippe, girl. I'm off to the fair!
:''[Log strikes him in the head, knocking him out. Fade to later in the day]''
:'''Belle''': Goodbye, Papa! Good luck!
:'''Maurice''': Goodbye, Belle, and take care while I'm gone!
:''[Fade to the deep forest, night. After a few hours of traveling, it seems obvious that they are lost, after Belle plays the violin. Philippe walks on cautiously, frightened out of his wits]''
:'''Maurice''': We should be there by now. ''[above them, an owl hoots, adding to the spookiness of the environment]'' Maybe we missed a turn. I guess I should have taken... wait a minute. ''[raising his lantern toward a sign with arrows pointing in separate directions, though the writing is faded and unreadable. Philippe snorts, and whinnies to go one fashion, but he pulls his reins in the separate direction]'' No, let's go this way! ''[Philippe whinnies and looks at the path Maurice has picked. It is dark and foggy with light blue clouds, with many trees forming an archway. Then he looks at the other path, which is much more inviting. Philippe whinnies to go on the safer path, but he pulls him toward the other one]'' Come on, Philippe, it's a shortcut! We'll be there in no time. ''[the two continue down the path, albeit slowly due to Philippe, fearing what can be lurking about in the darkness. At that moment, a shadow whisks past them and the sound of wolf howling fills the air, spooking Philippe whinnies; looking at his map]'' This can't be right. Where have you taken us, Philippe? We'd better turn around. ''[suddenly, the howling becomes louder. Philippe whinnies to back up, afraid of whatever might be around them]'' Whoa. Whoa, boy. Whoa, now. Whoa, Philippe. ''[but the spooked horse does not stop in time, and bumps into a hollow tree. A flocks of bats swarm out and surround them]'' Look out! No! ''[Philippe runs off in fear, not noticing where he's going]'' Whoa! Whoa, boy! ''[eventually, his steed stops until he sees where he is; at the edge of a very tall cliff]'' Back up! Back up! Back up! ''[they back off slowly, yet afraid to an inch of their lives]'' Good boy, good boy. That's good, that's–back up! Steady. Steady! Now, steady. Steady. ''[the howling is now so loud, Philippe whinnying]'' Oh, no, Philippe?! ''[looks up and sees wolves growling at him. Maurice runs away, being chased by the wolves. He stumbles down a hill, and lands at the gate of a castle. He grabs the locked gate and tries to shake it open]'' Help! Is... Is someone there? Help!
:''[The gate opens, and Maurice runs in. He slams the gate in the faces of the wolves. Leaving his hat on the ground as the rain begins to fall, Maurice runs to the castle and bangs on the door. It creaks open and he enters, cautiously]''
:'''Maurice''': Hello? Hello?
:''[Watching from a table near the entrance are Lumière and Cogsworth]''
:'''Lumière''': ''[barely whispering]'' Poor fellow must have lost his way in the woods.
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[also whispering]'' Keep quiet! Maybe he'll go away.
:'''Maurice''': Is someone there?
:'''Cogsworth''': Not a word, Lumiere. Not one word!
:'''Maurice''': I don't mean to intrude, but I've lost my horse and I need a place to stay for the night.
:'''Lumière''': ''[looking at Cogsworth like a child having just found a lost puppy]'' Oh, Cogsworth, have a heart.
:'''Cogsworth''': Shush shush shhhhh! ''[puts hand over Lumière's mouth, who promptly proceeds to touch his lit candle hand to Cogsworth's hand]'' Ow, ow! '''''OW, OW, OW, OUCH!!!!!'''''
:'''Lumière''': Of course, monsieur, you are welcome here.
:'''Maurice''': ''[looking around in confusion]'' Who said that?
:''[He picks up the candlestick for light, not realizing that the speaker is in his hand]''
:'''Lumière''': ''[tapping him on the shoulder]'' Over here!
:'''Maurice''': ''[spins around, pulling Lumière to the other side]'' Where?
:'''Lumière''': ''[taps Maurice on the side of the head. Maurice looks at Lumière]'' Hello!
:'''Maurice''': Oh!!!! ''[startled, he drops Lumière onto the floor]'' Incredible!
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[hopping over]'' Well, now you've done it, Lumière. Splendid, just peachy--aaarrrgghh!
:''[Maurice picks up Cogsworth]''
:'''Maurice''': How is this accomplished?
:''[He fiddles with Cogsworth]''
:'''Cogsworth''': Put me down! At once! ''[Maurice tickles the bottoms of Cogsworth's feet. He laughs. He begins to wind the spring on the back of Cogsworth's head, twisting his face around with the clock hands. Maurice opens the front of Cogsworth and begins to play with his pendulum. Cogsworth slams the door shut on his finger]'' Stop that! Stop that, I say! Sir, close that at once, do you mind!
:'''Maurice''': I beg your pardon, it's just that I've never seen a clock that...aah...I mean...aah aah aah-chooo!!!
:''[Maurice sneezes in the face of Cogsworth, who proceeds to wipe his face off using his clock hands in a very anachronistic windshield wiper manner. Maurice sniffles, indicating the cold he has caught from being in the rain]''
:'''Lumière''': Oh, you are soaked to the bone, monsieur. Come, warm yourself by the fire.
:'''Maurice''': Thank you.
:''[Lumière and Maurice head towards the den, with Cogsworth running after them]''
:'''Cogsworth''': No, no, no, do you know what the master would do if he finds you here. ''[Beast is watching the action from an overhead walkway, and rushes off as the trio enters the den]'' I demand that you stop...right...there! ''[Cogsworth tumbles down the steps. Maurice takes a seat in a large chair in front of a roaring fire]'' Oh, no, not the master's chair! ''[Footstool rushes past Cogsworth, barking up a storm]'' I'm not seeing this, I'm not seeing this!
:'''Maurice''': ''[as Footstool rushes up to him]'' Well, hello there, boy. ''[Footstool props himself up under the feet of Maurice. Coatrack enters and removes his cloak]'' What service!
:'''Cogsworth''': All right, this has gone far enough. I'm in charge here...
:''[Cogsworth is run over by the (once again) anachronistic IndyCar sounding teacart of Mrs. Potts]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': ''[arriving by the side of Maurice]'' How would you like a nice spot of tea, sir? It'll warm you up in no time.
:''[Mrs. Potts pours tea into cup, Chip, which hops over into Maurice's open hand]''
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[from face down position on carpet]'' No! No tea, no tea!!!
:'''Chip''': ''[as Maurice sips the tea]'' Ha ha! His mustache tickles, Mama!
:'''Maurice''': ''[startled by the cup]'' Oh! Hello!
:''[The door to the den slams open and a strong gust of wind blows into the room, extinguishing Lumière's flames and the fire in the fireplace. Cogsworth dives for cover. Mrs. Potts begins to shake. Chip jumps back onto the tea cart and takes refuge from behind his mother]''
:'''Chip''': Uh-oh!
:''[Beast enters he is a chimera (a mixture of several animals), who would probably be classified as a carnivore overall. he has with the goatee of a tahr, the lower jaw of a bulldog, the head hair and coat of a bigfoot, the eye masks of a st. bernard, the head shape of a demon nun, the head of an minotaur, the eyespots of a panda, the nose of a rat, the beard of a goat, the head structure, size, body build, and hump of an american bison, the voice, speak, button lip, and beard brow of sweetums, the mane hair of a warthog, the top lip of a witch, the rims of an owl, the face of a mandrill, the jaws of a leopard, the cheek stripes of a thompson’s gazelle, the teeth and cheek ruffs of a tiger, the jowl of a pig, the eye sockets of an triceratops, the hair and facial of a sable antelope, the fangs of a tabby cat, the tusks of a wild boar, the facial appearance of a takin, the eyes of a human the horned head and torso of a yak, the cheek-striped masks and throat mane of a kudu, the muzzle of a baboon, the earmarks of a deer, the ears of a cow, the eyebrows, forehead, strong muscles, and chest of a gorilla, the poll of a sheep, the upper lip of a mountain lion, the mascaras of a meerkat, the cheek stripe-mane of a chinstrap penguin, the horns of a bull, the maw, mouth, sounds, and mane of a lion, the brows of a monkey, the neck hair of an ibis, the facial ruffs of a lynx, the head shape, neck mane, and ear masks of a wildebeest, the back mane of a aardwolf, the eye rings of a crow, the ear hair of a donkey, the face ruffs and toe claws of a fox, the nose bridge of a jaguar, the neck and humped shoudler of a rhino, the crest of a spotted hyena, the arms, fur, claws, and body of a bear, the build of a hippo, the body-build structure of thog, the haircut and toes of a border collie, the hips and hindquarters of a t-rex, and the legs, feet, and tail of a wolf). We see him in full for the first time. He is on all fours. He looks around in the darkness]''
:'''Beast''': ''[first words; growling his words]'' There's a stranger here.
:'''Lumière''': ''[who has relit his flames]'' Master, allow me to explain. The gentleman was lost in the woods and he was cold and wet, so...
:''[Lumière's last sentence is drowned out by the very loud growl of Beast, which puts out his flames once again. Lumière looks down, dejected]''
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[coming out from under a rug]'' Master, I'd like to take this moment to say, I was against this from the start. It was all his fault. I tried to stop them, but would they listen to me? No, no... ''[Again, Beast's growl drowns out Cogsworth]''
:''[The Beast barges in to see Maurice getting settled in the castle]''
:'''Beast''': Who are you?! What are you doing here?!
:'''Maurice''': I-I-I was lost in the woods and--
:'''Beast''': You're not '''WELCOME HERE!'''
:'''Maurice''': I-I'm...I'm sorry.
:'''Beast''': What are you '''STARING AT?!'''
:'''Maurice''': Nothing.
:'''Beast''': So...you've come to stare at the '''BEAST, HAVE YOU?!?!''' ''[blocks Maurice's way]''
:'''Maurice''': ''[pleaders]'' Please! I mean no harm, I just needed a place to stay!
:'''Beast''': I'll give you a place to stay! ''[picks up Maurice]''
:'''Maurice''': ''[as the Beast takes him to the tower]'' No, no, please! No! No! ''[door slams]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''LeFou''': Heh! Oh boy! Belle's gonna get the surprise of her life, huh Gaston?
:'''Gaston''': Yep. This is her lucky day.
:''[Gaston lets go of a branch, which swings back and hits LeFou in the mouth. Gaston turns to the band, wedding guests and others, apparently just out of sight of Belle's cottage.]''
:'''Gaston''': I'd like to thank you all for coming to my wedding. But first, I'd better go in there and... propose to the girl. ''[chuckles; the male guests laugh and the Bimbettes sob]'' And you, LeFou. When Belle and I come out that door...
:'''LeFou''': Oh, I know! I know! I strike up the band!
:''[The band plays &quot;Here Comes the Bride,&quot; loud and fast, until Gaston rams a tuba down on LeFou's head]''
:'''Gaston''': Not yet!
:'''LeFou''': ''[sticked his lips through the mouthpiece]'' Sorry!
:''[There was a knock on the door.]''
:'''Belle''': Gaston, what a pleasant surprise.
:'''Gaston''': Isn't it though? I'm just full of surprises. You know, Belle. There's not a girl in town who wouldn't love to be in your shoes. This is the day...''[Gaston pauses by a mirror and licks his teeth clean.]'' This is the day your dreams come true.
:'''Belle''': What do you know about my dreams, Gaston?
:'''Gaston''': Plenty! Here, picture this. ''[sits, props muddy boots on Belle's book, kicks them off]'' A rustic hunting lodge, my latest kill roasting on the fire, and my little wife, massaging my feet, while the little ones play with the dogs. We'll have six or seven.
:'''Belle''': Dogs?
:'''Gaston''': No, Belle! Strapping boys, like me!
:'''Belle''': Imagine that. ''[retrieves book and shelves it]''
:'''Gaston''': And do you know who that wife will be?
:'''Belle''': Let me think.
:'''Gaston''': You, Belle!
:'''Belle''': I'm speechless! I really don't know what to say.
:'''Gaston''': Say you'll marry me!
:'''Belle''': I'm very sorry, Gaston, but... ''[turns the doorknob]'' ...but I just don't deserve you! 
:''[She opens the door]''
:'''Gaston''': Whoa!
:''[Gaston stumbles out and she throws his boots after him before closing it. Gaston lands in a pig's mud wallow as LeFou conducts the band in &quot;Here Comes the Bride&quot;]''
:'''LeFou''': Ooh, so, how'd it go? Oomph! Uh.
:'''Gaston''': ''[picks up LeFou, angrily]'' I'll have Belle for my wife! Make no mistake about that! 
:'''LeFou''': Oh.
:''[throws LeFou into the mud and storms off]''
:'''LeFou''': Hmm! Touchy! ''[The pig oinks in agreement]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Belle''': ''[to the chickens]'' Is he gone? ''[seeing he is, hurried outside, a bucket of chickens feed in her hand]'' Can you imagine? He asked me to marry him. Me, the wife of that boorish, brainless? ''[walks of the animals, and feeding the chickens, singing]'' Madame Gaston, can't you just see it? / Madame Gaston, his little wife. ''[kicks the buckets, the chickens clucking and goats bleats]'' / No, sir, not me, I guarantee it / I want much more than this provincial life. / I want adventure in the great wide somewhere / I want it more than I can tell / And for once it might be grand / To have someone understand / I want so much more than they've got planned ''[Phillipe runs into the open field. Belle looks at him, disturbed that Maurice is not with him.]''
:'''Belle''': Phillipe! What are you doing here? Where's Papa? Where is he, Philippe? What happened? Oh, we have to find him, you have to take me to him. ''[Belle unhitches the wagon from Philippe.]''
:''[Outside the castle gate. (How Phillipe brought Belle there is a mystery, seeing as Phillipe never made it to the castle with Maurice.)]''
:'''Belle''': What is this place?
:'''Philippe''': ''[snorts, neighs]''
:'''Belle''': Phillipe, please, steady. Papa.
:'''Cogsworth''': Couldn't keep quiet, could we? Just had to invite him to stay, didn't we? Serve him tea, sit in the master's chair, pet the pooch.
:'''Lumière''': I was trying to be hospitable.
:'''Belle''': Hello? Is anyone here? Hello? Papa? Papa, are you here?
:'''Chip''': Momma. There's a girl in the castle!
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Now, Chip, I won't have you making up such wild stories.
:'''Chip''': But really, momma, I saw her.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Not another word. Into the tub.
:'''Featherduster''': A girl! I saw a girl in the castle!
:'''Chip''': See, I told ya!
:'''Cogsworth''': Irresponsible, devil-may-care, waxy eared, slack-jawed--
:'''Belle''': Papa?
:'''Lumière''': Did you see that? It's a girl!
:'''Cogsworth''': I know it's a girl.
:'''Lumière''': Don't you see? She's the one. The girl we have been waiting for. She has come to break the spell!
:'''Cogsworth''': Wait a minute, wait a minute!
:'''Belle''': Papa? Papa? Hello? Is someone here? Wait! I'm looking for my father! I... That's funny, I'm sure there was someone... I-I-Is there anyone here?
:'''Maurice''': Belle?
:'''Belle''': Oh, Papa!
:'''Maurice''': But how did you find me?
:'''Belle''': Oh, your hands are ice. I have to get you out of here!
:'''Maurice''': You must go! 
:'''Belle''': Who's done this to you? 
:'''Maurice''': No time to explain! You must go ''now!''
:'''Belle''': I won't leave you!
:'''Beast''': '''What are you doing here?!'''
:'''Maurice''': Run, Belle!
:'''Belle''': Who's there? Who are you?
:'''Beast''': The master of this castle.
:'''Belle''': I've come for my father. Please let him out! Can't you see he's sick?!
:'''Beast''': ''[angrily; losing patience]'' Then he shouldn't have trespassed here!
:'''Belle''': But he could die! Please, I'll do anything!
:'''Beast''': There's nothing you can do! He's my prisoner!
:'''Belle''': Oh, there must be some way I can... Wait! Take me instead. 
:'''Beast''': '''''YOU'''''... You would... take his place? 
:'''Maurice''': Belle, no! You don't know what you're doing!
:'''Belle''': If I did, would you let him go?
:'''Beast''': Yes. But... you must promise to stay here forever!
:'''Belle''': Come into the light.
:'''Maurice''': No, Belle! I won't let you do this!
:'''Belle''': You have my word.
:'''Beast''': Done!
:'''Maurice''': No, Belle. Listen to me. I'm old, I've lived my life-
:'''Belle''': Wait!
:'''Maurice''': '''Belle!'''
:'''Belle''': ''WAIT!!''
:'''Maurice''': No, please spare my daughter!
:'''Beast''': She's no longer your concern. Take him to the village.
:'''Maurice''': Please, let me out, please!
:'''Lumière''': Master?
:'''Beast''': What?
:'''Lumière''': Since the girl is going to be with us for quite some time, I was thinking that you might want to offer her a more comfortable room. Then again, maybe not.
:'''Belle''': You didn't even let me say goodbye. I'll never see him again. I didn't get to say goodbye.
:'''Beast''': I'll show you to your room.
:'''Belle''': My room? But I thought...
:'''Beast''': You wanna stay in the tower?
:'''Belle''': No.
:'''Beast''': Then follow me.
:'''Lumière''': Say something to her.
:'''Beast''': Hmm? Oh. I hope you like it here. The castle is your home now, so you can go anywhere you like, except the West Wing.
:'''Belle''': What's in the West...
:'''Beast''': It's forbidden! Now, if you need anything, my servants will attend you.
:'''Lumière''': Dinner... invite her to dinner.
:'''Beast''': ''[angrily; losing patience]'' You will join me for dinner. That's not a request!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%/&gt;
:'''Gaston''': ''[displeased about what happened to him]'' Who does she think she is? That girl has '''''tangled''''' with the wrong man! No one says no to Gaston!
:'''LeFou''': Heh-heh! Darn right!
:'''Gaston''': Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly Humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear! ''[throwing his two mugs of beer into the fireplace]''
:'''LeFou''': More beer?
:'''Gaston''': ''[frustratingly turning his chair away from the fireplace]'' What for? Nothing helps! I'm disgraced.
:'''LeFou''': Who, you? Never! Gaston, you've gotta pull yourself together! ''[singing]'' Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston / Looking so down in the dumps / Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston
:'''Old Cronies''': Hooray!
:'''LeFou''': Even when taking your lumps / There's no man in town as admired as you / You're everyone's favorite guy! / Everyone's awed and inspired by you / &lt;big&gt;'''''AND IT'S NOT... VERY HARD! TO SEE WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!'''''&lt;/big&gt; / Noooooo, oooone's sllllick as Gaston, no one's quick as Gaston / No one's next as incredibly thick as Gaston / For there's no man in town half as manly / Perfect, a pure paragon! / You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley / And they'll tell you who's team they'd prefer to be '''''yooooooown!!!!!!'''''
:''[LeFou has pulled a man's belt off, whose pants fall to the ground. LeFou jumps up and wraps the belt around Gaston's neck, who flexes and breaks it off. LeFou continues to dance around. Old cronies pick him up and swing him around]''
:'''Old Cronies''': Noooooo, oooone's been like Gaston, a king-pin like Gaston.
:'''LeFou''': No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston.
:'''Gaston''': As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!
:'''Old Cronies''': My, what a guy that Gaston! ''[swing LeFou back and forth into the camera. LeFou tickles Gaston's chin, who stands with pride]'' Give 5 hurrahs, give 12 hip-hips!
:'''LeFou''': Gaston is the best and the rest is all drips!
:''[LeFou swings up his arm in dance and throws a mug of beer in Gaston's face, who socks LeFou in the face]''
:'''All''': Noooooo, oooone, fights like Gaston, douses lights like Gaston.
:'''Stanley''': In a wrestling match, nobody bites like Gaston.
:'''Bimbettes''': For there's no one as burly and brawny.
:'''Gaston''': As you see I've got biceps to spare.
:'''LeFou''': Not a bit of him scraggly or scrawny.
:'''Gaston''': That's right! And every last inch of me's covered with hair! ''[Gaston fights with the men, then lifts a bench with the Bimbettes on it. He drops the bench on LeFou, then turns to the camera and reveals his hairy chest]''
:'''Old Cronies''': No one hits like Gaston, matches wits like Gaston.
:'''LeFou''': In a spitting match, nobody spits like Gaston!
:'''Gaston''': I'm especially good at expectorating! Ptooey!
:'''All''': '''''10 POINTS FOR GASTON!'''''
:''[Gaston plays a chess game with a man, then hits the board, sending it and pieces all over. He takes a bite of leather from the belt once wrapped around his neck, chews it and spits it into a spittoon, which falls and gets stuck on the head of LeFou]''
:'''Gaston''': When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs. Every morning to help me get '''''LARGE!!!''''' And now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs. So I'm roughly the size of a '''''ba-a-a-a-arge!''''' ''[Gaston juggles a number of eggs, then swallows them whole. LeFou attempts the trick, and is hit in the face by three eggs]''
:'''All''': Noooooo, oooone shoots like Gaston, makes those beauts like Gaston.
:'''LeFou''': Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston.
:'''Gaston''': I use antlers in all of my decorating!
:''[Gaston takes three shots at a beer barrel, which begins leaking into the mugs of onlookers. He returns stomping to his chair, where we see the fireplace surrounded by the heads of the animals he has killed. The mystery cut of music is here! Cut to ending of &quot;Gaston Reprise&quot;]''
:'''All''': My what a '''''guuuuuy!''''' &lt;big&gt;'''''GASTOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNN!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[The old cronies have picked up the chair and carry Gaston around in it. LeFou tries to flee, but they toss the chair into its normal place, and LeFou is pinned underneath. Maurice bursts in frantically]''
:'''Maurice''': Help! Someone help me!
:'''Tavern Man''': Maurice?
:'''Maurice''': Please! Please, I need your help! He's got her. He's got her locked in the dungeon.
:'''Tom''': Who?
:'''Maurice''': Belle. We must go. Not... not a minute to lose!
:'''Gaston''': Whoa! Slow down, Maurice. Who's got Belle locked in a dungeon?
:'''Maurice''': A beast! A horrible, monstrous beast! ''[Maurice has gone from person to person, pleading his case, until he is thrown at the feet of Gaston. A moment of silence, then the old cronies begin to laugh and mock him]''
:'''Dick''': Is it a big beast?
:'''Maurice''': Huge!
:'''Stanley''': With a long, ugly snout?
:'''Maurice''': Hideously ugly!
:'''Walter''': And sharp, cruel fangs?
:'''Maurice''': Yes, yes. Will you help me?
:'''Gaston''': All right, old man. We'll help you out.
:'''Maurice''': You will? Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!
:''[The old cronies pick up Maurice and help him out by throwing him through the door]''
:'''Tom''': Crazy old Maurice.
:'''Dick''': He's always good for a laugh!
:'''Gaston''': ''[very pensive]'' Crazy old Maurice, hmm? Crazy old Maurice. Hmm? ''[singing]'' LeFou, I'm afraid I've been thinking.
:''[LeFou is still under the chair]''
:'''LeFou''': ''[singing]'' A dangerous pastime--
:'''Gaston''': ''[singing]'' I know, / But that wacky old coot is Belle's father / And his sanity's only so-so...| Now the wheels in my head have been turning / Since I looked at that loony old man / See I promised myself I'd be married to Belle, / And right now I'm evolving a plan! ''[Gaston picks LeFou out from under the chair and holds his head close, and whispers]''
:'''Gaston''': If I... ''[whispers]''
:'''LeFou''': Yes?
:'''Gaston''': Then I... ''[whispers]''
:'''LeFou''': No, would she?
:'''Gaston''': ''[whispering]'' ...GUESS!
:'''LeFou''': Now I get it!
:'''Gaston and LeFou''': '''Let's Go!''' ''[they begin a waltz around the floor as they sings]'' Noooooo, oooooone, plots like Gaston, takes cheap shots like Gaston.
:'''LeFou''': Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston.
:'''Chorus''': SO HIS MARRIAGE WE SOON'LL BE '''''Celebra-a-a-ti-i-ing!''''' / My what a guy, '''''GASTOOOOOOOOOON!!!'''''
:''[Camera zooms out through window to snow covered square, empty except for Maurice]''
:'''Maurice''': ''[to no one in particular]'' Will no one help me? ''[Random; ? At the bedroom of the castle where Belle is still crying. There is a 'clink clink clink' at the door. She gets up and walks over to open the door. Mrs. Potts enters with Chip and their entourage]''
:'''Belle''': Who is it?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Mrs. Potts, dear. I thought you might like a spot of tea.
:'''Belle''': But you...ah...but...I--
:'''Wardrobe''': Oof. Careful!
:'''Belle''': This is impossible--
:'''Wardrobe''': I know it is, but here we are!
:'''Chip''': Told you she was pretty, Mama, didn't I?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': All right, now, Chip, that'll do. Slowly now. Don't spill.
:'''Belle''': Thank you.
:'''Chip''': Want to see me do a trick?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Chip?!
:'''Chip''': Oops, sorry.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': That was a very brave thing you did, my dear.
:'''Wardrobe''': We all think so.
:'''Belle''': But I've lost my father, my dreams, everything.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Cheer up, child. It'll turn out all right in the end. You'll see. Oops! Look at me, jabbering on, when there's a supper to get on the table. Chip!
:'''Chip''': Bye!
:'''Wardrobe''': Well now, what shall we dress you in for dinner? Let's see what I've got in my drawers. Oh-ho! How embarrassing. Here we are. Ah! There you are, you'll look ravishing in this one!
:'''Belle''': That's very kind of you, but I'm not going to dinner.
:'''Wardrobe''': Oh, but you must!
:'''Cogsworth''': Dinner is served.
:'''Beast''': What's taking so long? I told her to come down. '''Why isn't she here yet?!'''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, try to be patient, sir. The girl has lost her father and her freedom all in one day.
:'''Lumière''': Uh, master. Have you thought that, perhaps, this girl could be the one to break the spell?
:'''Beast''': Of course I have! I'm not a fool.
:'''Lumière''': Good! You fall in love with her, she falls in love with you, and - Poof! - the spell is broken! We'll be human again by midnight!
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, it's not that easy, Lumière. These things take time.
:'''Lumière''': But the rose has already begun to wilt.
:'''Beast''': Oh, it's no use. She's so beautiful, and I'm... well, look at me!
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, you must help her to see past all that.
:'''Beast''': I don't know how.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Well, you can start by making yourself more presentable. Straighten up, try to act like a gentleman.
:'''Lumière''': Ah yes, when she comes in, give her a dashing, debonair smile. Come, come. Show me the smile.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': But don't frighten the poor girl.
:'''Lumière''': Impress her with your rapier wit.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': But be gentle.
:'''Lumière''': Shower her with compliments.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': But be sincere.
:'''Lumière''': And above all...
:'''Mrs. Potts and Lumière''': You must control your temper!
:'''Lumière''': There she is!
:'''Cogsworth''': Uh, good evening.
:'''Beast''': Well, where is she?
:'''Cogsworth''': Who? Oh! The girl. Yes, the, ah, girl. Well, actually, she's in the process of, ah, um, circumstances being what they are, ew... She's not coming.
:'''Beast''': &lt;big&gt;'''''WHAT?!?!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Cogsworth''': Oh, dear, Your Grace, Your Eminence! Let's not be hasty!
:'''Beast''': '''I thought I told you to come down to dinner!'''
:'''Belle''': I'm not hungry.
:'''Beast''': '''You come out, or I'll...I'll...''I'LL BREAK DOWN THE DOOR!!!'''''
:'''Lumière''': Master, I could be wrong, but that may not be the best way to win the girl's affections.
:'''Cogsworth''': Please, attempt to be a gentleman.
:'''Beast''': But she is being so ''difficult!''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Gently, gently.
:'''Beast''': Will you come down to dinner?
:'''Belle''': No!
:'''Beast''': Hmm?!
:'''Cogsworth''': Uh-uh-uh! Suave. Genteel.
:'''Beast''': It would give me great pleasure... if you would join me for dinner.
:'''Cogsworth''': Ahem, ahem, we say &quot;please&quot;.
:'''Beast''': Please.
:'''Belle''': No, thank you!
:'''Beast''': ''[angrily; losing patience]'' '''You can't stay in there forever!'''
:'''Belle''': ''[provoked]'' Yes, I can!
:'''Beast''': ''[angrily]'' Fine! Then go ahead and ''[roars]'' '''''STAAAAARVE!!''''' If she doesn't eat with me, then she doesn't eat ''at all.''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, dear. That didn't go very well at all, did it?
:'''Cogsworth''': Lumière, stand watch at the door and inform me at once if there is the slightest change.
:'''Lumière''': You can count on me, mon-Capitan.
:'''Cogsworth''': Well, we might as well go downstairs and start cleaning up.
:'''Beast''': I ask nicely, but she refuses! What-What does she want me to do?! Beg?! Show me the girl.
:'''Wardrobe''': But the master's really not so bad once you get to know him. Why don't you give him a chance?
:'''Belle''': I don't want to get to know him. I don't want to have anything to do with him!
:'''Beast''': I'm just fooling myself. She'll never see me as anything but a monster. It's hopeless.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Fade out/Fade in to exterior of Belle's room. Door creaks open. Belle silently emerges. We see her feet go by as three bright spots shine through a curtain at floor level. Behind it are Lumière and Featherduster.]''
:'''Featherduster''': Oh, no!
:'''Lumière''': Oh, yes!
:'''Featherduster''': Oh, no!
:'''Lumière''': Oh, yes, yes, yes!
:'''Featherduster''': I've been burnt by you before!
:''[Lumière and Featherduster have emerged and Lumière takes her in his arms. Suddenly he looks up and sees Belle walking down the hall. He drops Featherduster.]''
:'''Featherduster''': Oof!
:'''Lumière''': Zut alors! She has emerged!
:''[Inside the kitchen, where we find Cogsworth, Mrs. Potts, Chip and the stove.]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Come on, Chip. Into the cupboard with your brothers and sisters. ''[helping him in]''
:'''Chip''': But I'm not sleepy.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Yes you are.
:'''Chip''': No, I'm not. ''[He falls asleep and Mrs. Potts shuts the cupboard door.]''
:''[A banging of pots and pans comes from the stove.]''
:'''Stove''': I work and I slave all day long, and for what? A culinary masterpiece gone to waste.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, stop your grousing. It's been a long night for all of us.
:'''Cogsworth''': Well, if you ask me, she was just being stubborn. After all, the master did say please.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': But if the master doesn't learn to control that temper, he'll never break the--
:''[Belle enters, and Cogsworth cuts off Mrs. Potts before she can say 'spell.']''
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[interrupting]'' Splendid to see you out and about, mademoiselle.
:''[Lumière comes running in.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': I am Cogsworth, head of the household.
:''[He leans over to kiss her hand, but Lumière butts in front of him.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': This is Lumière.
:'''Lumière''': Enchanté, chérie.
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[trying to talk around Lumière who is still kissing Belle's hand]'' If there's anything...stop that...that we can...please ''[finally shoving him out of the way]''...to make your stay more comfortable. ''[Lumière burns the hand of Cogsworth]'' Ow!!!!
:'''Belle''': I am a little hungry.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': ''[excited, to the other tea pots]'' You are? Hear that? She's hungry. Stoke the fire, break out the silver, wake the China.
:''[The fire on the stove roars to life, and drawers open to reveal silverware standing at attention.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[secretively]'' Remember what the master said.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, pish tosh. I'm not going to let the poor child go hungry.
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[thinking he is giving in to the ultimate demand]'' Oh, all right, fine. Glass of water, crust of bread, and then--
:'''Lumière''': Cogsworth, I am surprised at you. She's not our prisoner. She's our guest. We must make her feel welcome here. ''[to Belle]'' Right this way, mademoiselle.
:'''Cogsworth''': Well keep it down. If the master finds out about this, it will be our necks!
:'''Lumière''': Of course, of course. But what is dinner without a little music?
:''[Lumière has started out the swinging door. He lets it close, and the door hits Cogsworth and sends him across the room to land in a panfilled with (what looks like) pancake batter. He screams his line as he is in flight.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': '''''MUSIC?!'''''
:''[Cut to dining room, where Belle is seated at the end of a long table. Lumière is on the table and a spotlight shines on him.]''
:'''Lumière''': Ma chère, mademoiselle. It is with deepest pride pleasure and greatest pride that I welcome you tonight. And now, we invite you to relax. Let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents...your dinner. ''[singing]'' Be our guest, be our guest / Put our service to the test, tie your napkin 'round your neck, chérie and we provide the rest! ''[The chair has wrapped a napkin around the neck of Belle, who takes it off and places it on her lap. The chair's arms put it's hands on it's 'waist' as if it were mad.]'' Soup du jour, hot hors d'oeuvres / Why we only live to serve / Try the grey stuff, it's delicious / Don't believe me? Ask the dishes! ''[Lumière offers Belle a plate of hors d'oeuvres. She dips her finger in one, and tastes it.]'' They can sing, they can dance / After all, miss, this is France! / And a dinner here is never second best! / Go on unfold your menu, take a glance and then you'll / Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest! ''[A cabinet at the end of the table opens to reveal a large China collection, which rolls out and begins to perform. Lumière hands Belle a menu, which she begins to read.]'' Beef ragout, cheese soufflé, Pie and pudding en flambé! / We'll prepare and serve with flair / A culinary cabaret! ''[plates of food go dancing by, with Cogsworth in the pudding. Lumière sets his torch to it, and it explodes, turning Cogsworth's face black with soot.]'' You're alone and you're scared, But the banquet's all prepared! / No one's gloomy or complaining, / While the flatware's entertaining! ''[The flatware enters a 'Busby Berkley-esque' swimming scene.]'' We tell jokes, I do tricks / With my fellow candlesticks ''[Lumière, standing on a plate, is elevated and begins to juggle his candles. Mugs enter the shot.]''
:'''Mugs''': And it's all in perfect taste / That you can bet!!! ''[The Mugs begin a gymnastics routine, hopping over one another and passing a beverage from one to the next]''
:'''All''': Come on and lift your glass, You've won your own free pass / To be our guest, be our guest, be our guest!
:'''Lumière''': If you're stressed, it's fine dining we suggest!
:'''All''': Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest!
:''[All leave except Cogsworth, who looks scared, then begins to inch away. Lumière enters and holds him there.]''
:'''Lumière''': Life is so unnerving, For a servant who's not serving! / He's not whole without a soul to wait upon
:'''Cogsworth''': Get off!
:'''Lumière''': Ah, those good old days when we were useful
:'''Cogsworth''': Huh? Oh! 
:'''Lumière''': Suddenly, those good old days are gone. 
:''[Lumière sings as if he were reminiscing. Snow begins to fall. Cogsworth looks up and sees the salt and pepper shakers doing their thing.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': Ohh.
:'''Lumière''': 10 years we've been rustin' / Needin' so much more than dustin' / Needin' exercise, a chance to use our skills! 
:'''Cogsworth''': Yaaaaaooo… 
:''[Lumière dusts the salt of the head of Cogsworth, who tries to escape. He tripsand falls into the gelatin mold.]''
:'''Lumière''': Most days just lay around the castle.
:'''Cogsworth''': Ngngngngh!
:'''Lumière''': Flabby fat and lazy / You walked in, and oops-a-daisie! 
:'''Cogsworth''': Whoa!
:''[Lumière jumps on a spoon in the gelatin, which catapults Cogsworth out of the mold. Cut to kitchen, where Mrs. Potts is surrounded by soap bubbles.]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': It's a guest, it's a guest! Sakes alive, well I'll be blessed! Wine's been poured and thank the Lord I've had the napkins freshly pressed! ''[Mrs. Potts continues to dance around the kitchen]'' With dessert, she'll want tea, And my dear, that's fine with me! While the cups do their soft shoein', I'll be bubblin', I'll be brewin'! I'll get warm, pipin' hot Heaven's sake, is that a spot? Clean it up, we want the company impressed! We've got a lot to do-- Is it one lump or two? For you our guest! ''[Mrs. Potts is cleaned off by a napkin. She hops onto the tea cart and rolls into the dining room, where she offers tea to Belle.]''
:'''All''': She's our guest!
:'''Mrs. Potts''': She's our guest!
:'''All''': She's our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! Our command is your request!
:'''Cogsworth''': Let's go, people. Fun's over. Over here. Line up. Aaaaaaah!
:'''All''': It's ten years since we had anybody here and we're obsessed! With your meal, with your ease, / Yes indeed, we aim to please / While the candlelight's still glowin' / Let us help you, we'll keep going!
:''[The [[China]] and candlesticks perform an elaborately choreographed dance sequence, ending in a closeup of Lumière.]''
:'''Lumière and All''': Course, by course / One by one / Til you shout &quot;Enough, I'm done!&quot; / Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest. Tonight you'll prop your feet up, But for let's eat up, Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! Please, '''BE...''' '''''OUR... &lt;big&gt;GUUUUUUUEEEEEEST!!!!!!&lt;/big&gt;'''''
:''[A fantastic ending comes of the song, with silverware flying through the air, plates and Featherdusters dancing, and Cogsworth the focus of attention, until Lumière comes sliding in and sends him flying out of camera range.]''
:'''Belle''': Bravo! That was wonderful!
:'''Cogsworth''': Thank you, thank you, mademoiselle. Yes, good show, wasn't it everyone. ''[Looking at his own face]'' Oh, my goodness, will you look at the time. Now, it's off to bed, off to bed!
:''[Lumière comes up next to Cogsworth.]''
:'''Belle''': Oh, I couldn't possibly go to bed now. It's my first time in an enchanted castle.
:'''Cogsworth''': Enchanted? Who said anything about the castle being enchanted? ''[He tries to cover it up, just as a fork runs past. To Lumière]''
:'''Cogsworth''': It was you, wasn't it!
:'''Belle''': I, um, figured it out for myself.
:''[Cogsworth and Lumière have been fighting. They both look at her, then stop. Cogsworth dusts himself off, and Lumière fixes his wax nose.]''
:'''Belle''': I'd like to look around, if that's all right.
:'''Lumière''': ''[excited]'' Oh! Would you like a tour?
:'''Cogsworth''': Wait a second, wait a second. I'm not sure that's such a good idea. ''[Confidentially, to Lumière]'' We can't let her go poking around in certain places, if you know what I mean.
:'''Belle''': ''[Poking Cogsworth in the belly (like the Pillsbury doughboy)]'' Perhaps you could take me. I'm sure you know everything there is to know about the castle.
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[flattered]'' Well, actually, ah yes, I do!
:''[Fade to Cogsworth, Lumière, and Belle walking down a hall with Sultan. Cogsworth is lecturing.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': As you can see, the pseudo façade was stripped away to reveal a minimalist rococo design. Note the unusual inverted vaulted ceilings. This is yet another example of the neo-classic baroque period, and as I always say, if it's not baroque, don't fix it! Ha ha ha. Now then, where was I? ''[He turns to find the heads of the suits of armor have turned to follow Belle.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': As you were! ''[They all snap back to face forward.]'' Now, if I may draw your attention to the flying buttresses above the--mademoiselle?
:''[Cogsworth turns back to the group and is one girl short. He sees her beginning to climb the grand staircase. He and Lumière run up to her and jump in front of her, blocking her progress upstairs.]''
:'''Belle''': What's up there?
:'''Cogsworth''': Where? Up there? Nothing. Absolutely nothing of interest at all in the West Wing. Dusty, dull, very boring. ''[Lumière has been shaking his head, but Cogsworth nudges him and he nods in agreement.]''
:'''Belle''': Oh, so that's the West Wing.
:'''Lumière''': ''[To Cogsworth]'' Nice going!
:'''Belle''': I wonder what he's hiding up there.
:'''Lumière''': Hiding? The master is hiding nothing!
:'''Belle''': Then it wouldn't be forbidden.
:''[She steps over them, but they dash up and block her again.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': Perhaps mademoiselle would like to see something else. We have exquisite tapestries dating all the way back to...
:'''Belle''': ''[again stepping over them]'' Maybe later.
:'''Lumière''': ''[with Cogsworth, again dashing and blocking]'' The gardens, or the library perhaps?
:'''Belle''': ''[Now, with incredible interest]'' You have a library?
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[Thrilled that he has found something to interest her]'' Oh. yes! Indeed!
:'''Lumière''': With books!
:'''Cogsworth''': Gads of books!
:'''Lumière''': Mountains of books!
:'''Cogsworth''': Forests of books!
:'''Lumière''': Cascades...
:'''Cogsworth''': ...of books!
:'''Lumière''': Swamps of books!
:'''Cogsworth''': More books than you'll ever be able to read in a lifetime! Books on every subject ever studied, by every author who ever set pen to paper...
:''[Lumière and Cogsworth begin marching off, and Belle begins to follow, but her curiosity overtakes her, and she turns back to the West Wing. Her excitement begins to dwindle, though, when she enters the hallway leading to Beast's lair. As she walks down the hall, she stops to look in a mirror that has been shattered into several pieces, each one reflecting her concerned look. She reaches the end of the hall and finds a closed door with gargoyle handles. She takes a deep breath, then reaches out and opens the door. Inside the lair, where Belle begins to explore. She is truly shocked by everything she sees. She wanders around, looking, and knocks over a table, but she catches it before it crashes to the floor. She then turns her head and sees a shredded picture on the wall. We can only see part of a portrait. It is the same portrait that was shredded in the opening. Belle reaches out and lifts the shreds of the picture to reveal the prince. We never see this, however, for then she turns her head and sees the rose under the bell jar. She walks over to it, her eyes transfixes. She reaches out, then lifts off the jar, leaves the rose unprotected. She reaches up, brushes back the strand of hair that has been repeatedly falling on her forehead, then reaches out to touch the rose. As she nears it, a shadow falls over her and Belle gasps in shocked. Beast has been on the balcony, and sees her. He jumps back into the room, then slams the jar back on the rose. He then turns his attention to Belle]''
:'''Beast''': ''[growing angrily-ish]'' Why did you come here?
:'''Belle''': ''[backs away, scared]'' I'm-I'm sorry.
:'''Beast''': I warned you never to come here!
:'''Belle''': I didn't mean any harm.
:'''Beast''': ''[angrier]'' Do you realize what you could have done?!
:''[Beast begins to thrash at the furniture]''
:'''Belle''': ''[pleaders, but still scared]'' Please, stop!
:'''Beast''': ''[screaming]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''GET OUT!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Belle''': No!
:'''Beast''': ''[screaming]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''GEEET, OOOOOOUUUTT!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Belle turns and flees the room. Beast calms down, then falls into despair, finally realizes that he may have destroyed his chances with Belle. She reaches the stairway and grabs her cloak. She rushes down the stairs, wrapping the cloak around her and bursting past a confused Lumière and Cogsworth]''
:'''Lumière''': Where are you going?
:'''Belle''': Promise or no promise, I can't stay here another minute!
:'''Cogsworth''': Oh, no, wait, please! Please wait!
:''[Lumière tries to respond, but Belle slams the door behind her. He and Cogsworth both bow their heads in sadness. When Belle outside in the forest on Philippe. She begins to ride through the forest, but Philippe comes to a stop. She looks up and sees the wolves. She gasps, then pulls the reins and begins to flee. She runs from side to side, making the wolves hit the trees (a la Speederbike chase in '''[[w:Return of the Jedi|Return of the Jedi]]'''). Philippe runs out on a frozen pond, but his and Belle's weight collapse the ice. The wolves chase her into the water. Some begin to drown, but Philippe is able to get out of the water before anything serious happens. He runs into a clears, but becomes surrounded by wolves. He bucks, throws Belle off and wrapped the reins around a tree branch. The wolves begin their attack on Philippe, but Belle comes to his rescue and beats them away with a stick. One wolf grabs the stick in its mouth and breaks half of it off, leaves Belle defenseless. Another leaps at her, grabs the corner of her cloak and dragging her to the ground]''
:'''Belle''': &lt;big&gt;'''''NO!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt; ''[She looks up and sees a wolf about to jump on top of her. It leaps and is caught in mid-air by Beast. He throws the wolf away, then stands behind them and Belle. They lunge at each other. One rips a hole in Beast's shoulder, and the others focus their attack on that spot. Finally, Beast throws a wolf against a tree, knocks it out. The others turn and run in fear. Beast turns back to Belle, looks at her despairingly, then collapses. Belle, grateful to be alive, turns back to Philippe and begins to get on, but her conscience takes over, and she walks over to the fallen Beast. Fade to Belle and Philippe walking back to the castle, with Beast on the horse's back. Fade to inside the den, with Belle pouring hot water out of Mrs. Potts. She soaks a rag in the water, then turns to Beast, who is licking his wounds, dampening rag]'' Here, now. ''[sees the Beast licking the wound on his arm]'' Oh, don't do that. ''[the Beast backs away with a growl as the servants start to back away in fear]'' Just hold still. ''[places the rag on the Beast's wound; the Beast mighty roars in pain and the servants takes cover]''
:'''Beast''': &lt;big&gt;'''''THAT HURTS!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Belle''': If you'd hold still, it wouldn't hurt as much!
:'''Beast''': Well, if you hadn't have run away, this wouldn't have happened.
:'''Belle''': If you hadn't frightened me, I wouldn't have run away.
:'''Beast''': Well, ''you'' shouldn't have been in The West Wing!
:'''Belle''': Well, ''you'' should learn to control your temper. Now, hold still. This might sting a little.
:'''Beast''': Hmm? Mmm!
:'''Belle''': By the way, thank you, for saving my life.
:'''Beast''': You're welcome.
:''[The camera zooms out and we see the objects looking on with interest. Fade to Gaston's tavern, which is empty except for Gaston, LeFou and Monsieur D'Arque, who are all sitting at a table]''
:'''Monsieur D'Arque''': I don't usually leave the asylum in the middle of the night, but they said you'd make it worth my while. ''[Gaston pulls out a sack of gold and tosses it in front of him. He takes out a piece, scrapes it on his chin and continues]'' Aah, I'm listening.
:'''Gaston''': It's like this. I've got my heart set on marrying Belle, but she needs a little persuasion.
:'''LeFou''': ''[butting in]'' Turned him down flat!
:''[Gaston slams a beer mug on his head]''
:'''Gaston''': Everyone knows her father's a lunatic. He was in here tonight raving about a beast in a castle...
:'''Monsieur D'Arque''': Maurice is harmless.
:'''Gaston''': The point is, Belle would do anything to keep him from being locked up.
:'''LeFou''': Yeah, even marry him!
:''[Gaston gives him another threatening look, and he ducks back under the mug]''
:'''Monsieur D'Arque''': So you want me to throw her father in the asylum unless she agrees to marry you? ''[They both nod in agreement]'' Oh, that is despicable. I love it!
:''[Inside Belle's cottage, Maurice is packing to leave]''
:'''Maurice''': If no one will help me, then I'll go back alone. I don't care what it takes. I'll find that castle and somehow I'll get her out of there.
:''[Maurice leaves to go find Belle, Gaston and LeFou enter her house to look for him and Belle.]''
:'''Gaston''': Belle? Maurice?
:'''LeFou''': Oh, well. I guess it's not go to work, after all.
:'''Gaston''': ''[grabs LeFou by his collar and carries him out]'' They have to come back sometime. And when they do, we'll be ready for them. LeFou, ''[throws him into the pile of snow nearby]'' don't move from that spot, until Belle and her father come home. ''[leaves on a horse wagon]''
:'''LeFou''': But... But I... ''[hits a wood]'' Ah, nuts! ''[a snow falls on him]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Outside the castle. Belle is playing in the snow with Phillipe and Sultan. Beast, Cogsworth and Lumière watch from the balcony.]''
:'''Beast''': I've never felt this way about anyone. ''[Looks excited]'' I want to do something for her. ''[Looks discouraged.]'' But what?
:'''Cogsworth''': Well, there's the usual things--flowers, chocolates, promises you don't intend to keep...
:'''Lumière''': Ahh, no no. It has to be something very special. Something that sparks her inter--wait a minute.
:''[Cut to interior hallway leading to library. Beast and Belle are alone.]''
:'''Beast''': Belle, there's something I want to show you. ''[Begins to open the door, then stops.]'' But first, you have to close your eyes.
:''[She looks at him questioningly.]''
:'''Beast''': It's a surprise.
:''[Belle closes her eyes, and Beast waves his hand in front of her. Then he opens the door. He leads her in.]''
:'''Belle''': ''[Just as she enters the room]'' Can I open them?
:'''Beast''': No, no. Not yet. Wait here.
:''[Beast walks away to draw back the curtains. He does, and brilliant sunlight spills into the room. Belle flinches reflexively as the light hits her face.]''
:'''Belle''': Now can I open them?
:'''Beast''': All right. Now.
:''[Belle opens her eyes and the camera pulls back to reveal the gigantic library filled with books.]''
:'''Belle''': I can't believe it. I've never seen so many books in all my life!
:'''Beast''': You--you like it?
:'''Belle''': It's wonderful.
:'''Beast''': Then it's yours.
:'''Belle''': Oh, thank you so much.
:''[Cut to Belle and Beast in background, with Objects including Chip in foreground watching them.]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, would you look at that?
:'''Lumière''': Ha ha! I knew it would work.
:'''Chip''': What? What works?
:'''Cogsworth''': It's very encouraging.
:'''Featherduster''': Isn't this exciting!
:'''Chip''': I didn't see anything.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Come along, Chip. There's chores to be done in the kitchen.
:'''Chip''': But what are they talking about? What's going on?
:''[Objects walk away. Fade to breakfast table with Belle at one end and Beast at the other, with Mrs. Potts between them. Belle is served breakfast, and as she begins to eat, she looks at Beast, gobbling up his food with no table manners whatsoever. Chip laughs, but Mrs. Potts shoots him an admonishing look. Belle turns away and tries to ignore it, but Chip comes to the rescue. He nudges the spoon with his nose, and Beast reaches out for it (very 3-D-ishly). Belle looks at him in wonder as he tries to eat with the spoon, but he has little success. Finally, Belle puts down her spoon and lifts her bowl as if in a toast. Beast looks at the compromise and does the same. They both begin to sip their breakfast out of their bowls. Fade to courtyard where Belle and Beast are feeding the birds.]''
:'''Belle''': There's something sweet / And almost kind / But he was mean / And he was coarse and unrefined. But now he's dear / And so unsure, / I wonder why I didn't see it there before. ''[Belle is trying to attract some birds to Beast, who shoves a handful of seed at them. Finally, she takes a handful and gently spreads it out, creating a trail. One lands in his hands, and he looks up thrilled.]''
:'''Beast''': She glanced this way / I thought I saw / And when we touched / She didn't shudder at my paw / No, it can't be / I'll just ignore / But then she's never looked at me that way before. ''[Belle has ducked around a tree, leaving Beast with the birds. She begins to look doubtful again, but turns her head around the tree and laughs. Beast is covered with birds.]''
:'''Belle''': New, and a bit alarming / Who'd have ever thought that this could be? / True, that he's no Prince Charming / But there's something in him that I simply didn't see.
:''[Belle throws a snowball at Beast, who had looked at her proudly after the birds flew away. He begins to gather a large pile of snow. We cut to the Objects, looking out of a window at the two. In the background, Belle throws another snowball at Beast, who drops his huge pile of snow on his head. He chases her around a tree, but she ducks around the other side and sneaks up on him from behind.]''
:'''Lumière''': Well, who'd have thought?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Well, bless my soul.
:'''Cogsworth''': And who'd have known?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Well, who indeed?
:'''Lumière''': And who'd have guessed they'd come together on their own?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': It's so peculiar.
:'''All''': We'll wait and see / A few days more / There may be something there that wasn't there before.
:''[Fade to den where Belle sits in front of a roaring fire and reads to Beast. Objects including Chip watch from doorway]''
:'''Cogsworth''': Yes, perhaps there's something there that wasn't there before.
:'''Chip''': What?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': There may be something there that wasn't there before.
:'''Chip''': What's there, mama?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': I'll tell you when you're older.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Inside the Beast's lair. He is in the tub getting washed up for the big night with Belle. Lumière is there with him.]''
:'''Lumière''': Tonight is the night!
:'''Beast''': ''[hesitantly]'' I'm not sure I can do this.
:'''Lumière''': You don't have time to be timid. You must be bold, daring.
:'''Beast''': Bold. Daring. ''[Beast has emerged from the tub and shakes himself dry.]''
:'''Lumière''': There will be music. Romantic candlelight, provided myself, and when the time is right, you confess your love.
:'''Beast''': ''[Inspired]'' Yes, I -- I con--No, I can't.
:'''Lumière''': You care for the girl, don't you?
:'''Beast''': More than anything.
:'''Lumière''': Well then you must tell her. ''[Coatrack has been cutting Beast's hair. It finishes and steps back.]'' Voila. You look so...so... ''[Cut to shot of Beast in pig-tails and bows.]''
:'''Beast''': Stupid.
:'''Lumière''': Not quite the word I was looking for. Perhaps a little more off the top.
:''[Coatrack begins to cut and chop again. Cogsworth enters.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': Ahem ahem ahem. Your lady awaits.
:''[Cut to grand staircase, where Belle descends from the West Wing side in a glittering gold ball gown. She reaches the landing and looks up at Beast, who is standing at the top of the stairs in his dress clothes. He is nudged on by Lumière from behind the curtain, and he descends and meets Belle at the landing. Arm in arm, they descend the last section of stairs and continue on their way to dinner, stopped momentarily by Sultan. Mrs. Potts sings from her cart with Chip on board.]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Tale as old as time / True as it can be / Barely even friends / Then somebody bends / Unexpectedly / Just a little change / Small to say the least / Both a little scared / Neither one prepared / Beauty and the Beast ''[Belle and Beast have moved into the ballroom, where they move through a computer perfect dance sequence. Beast occasionally looks over at Lumière and Cogsworth for their approval. Mrs. Potts and Chip are in the ballroom on their cart.]'' Ever just the same / Ever a surprise / Ever as before, ever just as sure / As the sun will rise / Tale as old as time / Tune as old as song / Bittersweet and strange, / Finding you can change, learning you were wrong / Certain as the sun / Rising in the east / Tale as old as time, / Song as old as rhyme, beauty and the Beast. / Tale as old as time, / Song as old as rhyme, beauty and the Beast. ''[To Chip]'' Off to the cupboard with you now, Chip. It's past your bedtime. Good night, love. ''[Chip slides off the end of the cart, and hops out of the room, but comes back for one last look. Belle and Beast have adjourned to the balcony under a starry night.]''
:'''Beast''': Belle? Are you happy here with me?
:'''Belle''': ''[Hesitantly]'' Yes. ''[She looks off into the distance]''
:'''Beast''': What is it?
:'''Belle''': ''[Looks at him desperately]'' If only I could see my father again, just for a moment. I miss him so much.
:'''Beast''': ''[Looks disappointed for a moment, then excited.]'' There is a way. ''[The pair adjourn to Beast's lair, where Beast hands Belle the magic mirror.]'' This mirror will show you anything, anything you wish to see.
:'''Belle''': ''[Hesitantly]'' I'd like to see my father, please. ''[The magic mirror shines into life, and Belle turns her head away as it flashes. Then it reveals Maurice fallen in the woods, coughing and lost. Belle is shocked. Beast looks at her with concern.]'' Papa. Oh, no. He's sick, he may be dying. And he's all alone. ''[Beast turns, then looks at the rose, deep in thought.]''
:'''Beast''': Then...then you must go to him.
:'''Belle''': What did you say?
:'''Beast''': I release you. You're no longer my prisoner.
:'''Belle''': You mean...I'm free?
:'''Beast''': Yes.
:'''Belle''': Oh, thank you. Hold on, Papa. I’m on my way.
:'''Beast''': Take it with you so you'll always have a way to look back and remember me.
:'''Belle''': Thank you for understanding how much he needs me. ''[Belle turns to leave and Beast looks down in depression. She touches her hand to his cheek and rushes out. We see Belle's skirt fly past Cogsworth, who has entered the room.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': Well, your highness I have to say that everything it's going great I knew that she was capable.
:'''Beast''': I let her go.
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[chuckles]'' Yes, yes. Splen-- ''[realizes what the Beast just said]'' You what? How could you do that?
:'''Beast''': I had to.
:'''Cogsworth''': Yes, but why?
:'''Beast''': Because... I love her.
:''[Cut to Cogsworth telling the rest of the Objects about Beast's decision.]''
:'''All''': ''[except Cogsworth]'' He did '''''WHAT?!'''''
:'''Cogsworth''': Yes, I'm afraid it's true.
:'''Chip:''' She's going away?
:'''Lumière''': But he was so close.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': After all this time, he's finally learned to love.
:'''Lumière''': That's it, then. That should break the spell.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': But it's not enough. She has to love him in return.
:'''Cogsworth''': And now it's too late.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Cut to Beast watching Belle leave from above. He roars in sorrow and anger. His roar turns into the sound of the wind. Belle is out in the snow.]''
:'''Belle''': Papa? Papa? ''[gasps]''
:''[Finally, she finds him face down in a snowbank. They return home, where LeFou is still waiting, disguised as a snowman.]''
:'''LeFou''': Oh, they're back.
:''[Cut to black. POV of Maurice as his eyes open. He sees Belle.]''
:'''Maurice''': Belle?
:'''Belle''': It's all right, Papa. I'm home.
:'''Maurice''': I thought I'd never see you again.
:'''Belle''': I missed you so much.
:'''Maurice''': But the Beast. How did you escape?
:'''Belle''': I didn't escape, Papa. He let me go.
:'''Maurice''': That horrible Beast?
:'''Belle''': But he's different, now. He's changed somehow.
:''[There is a sound coming from Belle's pack. The flap opens and the magic mirror falls out with Chip rolling to a stop on it.]''
:'''Chip''': Hi!
:'''Belle''': Oh, a stowaway.
:'''Maurice''': Why, hello there, little fella. Didn't think I'd ever see you again. ''[Chip turns to Belle with a look of question on his face.]''
:'''Chip''': Belle, why'd you go away? Don't you like us anymore?
:'''Belle''': Oh, Chip. Of course I do. It's just that--
:''[There is a knocking at the door. Belle opens it and Monsieur D'Arque stands on the porch.]''
:'''Belle''': May I help you?
:'''Monsieur D'Arque''': I've come to collect your father.
:'''Belle''': My father?
:'''Monsieur D'Arque''': Don't worry, mademoiselle. We'll take good care of him.
:'''Belle''': My father's not crazy.
:'''LeFou''': He was raving like a lunatic. We all heard him, didn't we!
:'''Bystanders''': Yes!
:'''Belle''': No, I won't let you.
:'''Maurice''': Belle?
:'''LeFou''': Maurice. Tell us again, old man, just how big was the Beast?
:'''Maurice''': Well, he was... that is... enormous. I'd say at least eight, no more like ten feet.
:'''LeFou''': Well, you don't get much crazier than that.
:'''Maurice''': It's true, I tell you!
:'''LeFou''': Get him out of here!
:'''Maurice''': Let go of me!
:'''Belle''': No, you can't do this!
:'''Gaston''': Poor Belle. It's a shame about your father.
:'''Belle''': You know he's not crazy, Gaston.
:'''Gaston''': Hmm. I think I might be able to clear up this little misunderstanding, if...
:'''Belle''': If what?
:'''Gaston''': If you marry me.
:'''Belle''': What?
:'''Gaston''': One little word, Belle. That's all it takes.
:'''Belle''': Never!
:'''Gaston''': Have it your way.
:'''Maurice''': Belle? Let go of me!
:'''Belle''': My father's not crazy and I can prove it! Show me the Beast!
:'''Woman #1''': Is it dangerous?
:'''Belle''': Oh, no, no. He'd never hurt anyone. Please, I know he looks vicious, but he's really kind and gentle. He's my friend.
:'''Gaston''': If I didn't know better, I'd think you had feelings for this monster.
:'''Belle''': He's no monster, Gaston. You are!
:'''Gaston''': She's as crazy as the old man! The Beast will make off with your children! He'll come after them in the night!
:'''Belle''': No!
:'''Gaston''': We're not safe until his head is mounted on my wall! I say we kill the Beast!
:''[Mob cheers him and repeats the words 'kill him'.]''
:'''Man #1''': We're not safe until he's dead.
:'''Man #2''': He'll come stalkin' us at night!
:'''Woman #1''': Set to sacrifice our children to his monstrous appetite!
:'''Man #3''': He'll wreak havoc on our village / If we let him wander free.
:'''Gaston''': So, it's time, to take some action, boys, it's tiiime, tooo, folloooww, meeeeee!!!!!! ''[Gaston throws a torch into a haystack, creating an instant bonfire. He begins to prance around it, warning of the dangers of the horrible Beast.]'' Through the mist, through the woods / Through the darkness and the shadows / It's a nightmare but it's one exciting ride. / Say a prayer, then we're there / At the drawbridge of a castle, And there's something truly terrible inside. ''[Gaston chases LeFou around, mimicking a monster.]'' It's a Beast, He's got fangs, razor sharp ones / Massive paws, Killer claws for the feast ''[Magic mirror shows the face of Beast to LeFou, which Gaston exaggerates about.]'' Hear him roar, see him foam, But we're not comin' home, Until he's dead / Good and dead, kill the Beast!
:'''Belle''': ''[Interjecting]'' No, I won't let you do this.
:'''Gaston''': If you're not with us, you're against us. Bring the old man. ''[Gaston is snatched the mirror and clutches the pants]''
:'''Maurice''': Get your hands off me! ''[Gaston throws them into the basement and bolts the door.]''
:'''Gaston''': We can't have them runnin' off to warn the creature!
:'''Belle''': &lt;big&gt;'''''LET US OUT!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Gaston''': ''[To the crowd]'' We'll rid the village of this Beast. '''''Who's with me?''''' 
:''[A chorus of &quot;I am&quot;s comes from the crowd]''
:'''Mob''': Light your torch, mount your horse!
:'''Gaston''': Screw your courage to the sticking place
:'''Mob''': We're countin' on Gaston to lead the way! Through a mist, to a wood, Where within a haunted castle, Something's lurking that you don't see every day! ''[Gaston leads the Mob through the town and out into the forest, where they start chopping trees in preparation for their assault on the castle.]'' It's a Beast, One as tall as a mountain! We won't rest / Until he's good and deceased! Sally forth, tally ho, Grab your sword, grab your bow / Praise the Lord and here we go!
:'''Gaston''': &lt;big&gt;'''''WE'LL LAY SIEGE TO HIS CASTLE AND BRING BACK HIS HEAD!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Cut to interior of basement, where Belle is prying at the window with a stick.]''
:'''Belle''': I have to warn the Beast. This is all my fault. Oh, Papa. What are we going to do?
:'''Maurice''': ''[Comforting her]'' Now, now. We'll think of something. ''[We see Chip looking in through the window. He turns around, thinking, and then he sees Maurice's contraption with the axe on the end of it.]''
:'''Mob''': We don't like, what we don't / Understand, it frankly scares us / And this monster is mysterious at least! Bring your guns, bring your knives, Save your children and your wives, We'll save our village and our lives, We'll kill the Beast!
:'''Cogsworth''': I knew it, I knew it was foolish to get our hopes up.
:'''Lumière''': Maybe it would have been better if she had never come at all. ''[Sultan comes in barking. They rush over to the window expecting the return of Belle.]'' Could it be?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Is it she?
:'''Lumière''': ''[Realizing the Mob is not Belle]'' Sacre bleu, invaders!
:'''Cogsworth''': Encroachers!
:'''Mrs. Potts''': ''[Seeing Gaston]'' And they have the mirror!
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[Issuing orders]'' Warn the master. If it's a fight they want, we'll be ready for them. ''[Turns around from window]'' Who's with me? Aahh!
:''[The door is slammed as the rest of the Objects leave Cogsworth behind.]''
:'''Gaston''': Take whatever booty you can find, but remember, the Beast is mine!
:''[Cut to stairway, where Objects are marching down to do battle with the Mob.]''
:'''Objects''': Hearts ablaze, banners high! We go marching into battle, Unafraid, although the danger just increased!
:'''Mob''': Raise the flag, sing the song / Here we come, we're fifty strong, and 50 Frenchmen can't be wro-o-o-ong, Let's kill the Beast!
:''[Cut to interior of Beast's lair, where Mrs. Potts is briefing him.]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Pardon me, master.
:'''Beast''': Leave me in peace.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': But sir, the castle is under attack!
:'''Mob''': Kill the Beast, kill the Beast!
:''[The Objects have tried to block off the door, but it is being bashed in by the Mob.]''
:'''Lumière''': This isn't working!
:'''Featherduster''': Oh, Lumière! We must do something!
:'''Lumière''': Wait! I know!
:'''Mob''': Kill the Beast, kill the Beast!
:''[Cut to Beast's lair]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': What shall we do, master?
:'''Beast''': ''[Still very sad]'' It doesn't matter now. Just let them come.
:'''Mob''': Kill the Beast, kill the Beast, kill the Beast!! ''[The Mob succeeds in breaking in, and finds a grand entrance filled with assorted pieces of furniture, teacups, candlesticks, Featherdusters and clocks. They tiptoe in, and LeFou unknowingly picks up Lumière.]''
:'''Lumière''': '''''NOW!!!''''' ''[All the Objects spring into life, attacking their human enemies. Cut back to Belle's home, where Chip has readied the invention with purple smoke.]''
:'''Chip''': Yes! Here we go! 
:''[Chip has a rise in Maurice's invention with a violin sounds louder. Maurice looks out from the window and sees the advancing axe.]''
:'''Maurice''': What the devil? Belle, look out!
:''[The invention crashes into the door, and a red cloud of smoke poofs out of the basement. Belle and Maurice emerge from the wreckage to find Chip swinging on a loose spring.]''
:'''Chip''': You guys gotta try this thing.
:''[Cut back to the castle where the attack continues.]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Up here, you scurvy scum! Now! ''[She and all the cups pour boiling tea on the guy's head.]''
:''[Cut back to the castle where the attack continues. Meanwhile, Gaston has broken off from the Mob, and is searching out Beast. Belle, Maurice, Philippe and Chip are making their way to the castle. Finally, the invaders (a la Invaders storm in '''[[w:Willow (1988 film)|Willow]]''').]''
:'''Stove''': Roaaaar!
:'''Tom, Stanley and LeFou''': '''AAAAAAAAH!!'''
:'''LeFou''': Move, move, move, move!
:''[They are chased out and the Objects celebrate their victory.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': And stay out! ''[Lumière pulls over Cogsworth and kisses him once on each cheek. Cogsworth shakes it off.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Cut to Gaston, who finds Beast's lair. He raises his crossbow and takes aim. Beast looks up at him, then looks back down in sadness again. Gaston releases the arrow and it strikes Beast in the shoulder. He screams in pain and stands. Gaston rushes him and they fly out the window onto the balcony, where it has begun to rain.]''
:'''Gaston''': Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! ''[Gaston corners Beast on the edge of the roof. Beast simply sits there in despair.]'' Get up! Get up! What's the matter, Beast? Too kind and gentle to fight back?
:''[Beast looks down ignoring him. Gaston walks into the foreground and breaks off a piece of the roof. He is about to smash it on Beast's head when Belle's voice drifts up. She is on the bridge and is yelling to Gaston, telling him to stop.]''
:'''Belle''': No!
:'''Beast''': Belle.
:'''Belle''': No, Gaston, don't! Let's go, Philippe.
:'''Gaston''': ''[to Beast]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''COME ON, OUT AND FIGHT?!'''''&lt;/big&gt; We're you in love with her, Beast? '''''DID YOU HONESTLY THINK SHE'D WANT YOU WHEN SHE HAD SOMEONE LIKE ME?!'''''
:''[The Beast has been provoked enough. He emerges and they fight again]''
:'''Gaston''': It's over, Beast! '''''BELLE IS MINE!!'''''
:''[The Beast and Gaston are fighting on top of the castle; the Beast strikes at him, grabs him and holds him over the edge]''
:'''Gaston''': ''[last words]'' Let me go, let me go! Please... don't hurt me! I'll do anything! '''''ANYTHING!!!!'''''
:''[The Beast glares with fury, then his anger slowly melts as he realizes that Gaston's what he could've become. He pulls Gaston back in and close to his face]''
:'''Beast''': ''[in a calm, but tranquil fury manner]'' Get out. ''[shoves Gaston to the ground]''
:'''Belle''': ''[comes out on the balcony]'' Beast!
:'''Beast''': Belle. ''[begins to climb the tower until he reaches the balcony. He hangs over the side]'' Belle? ''[they reached their hands as they reunite]'' You came back.
:''[The Beast and Belle stare passionately at each other, but the moment is interrupted when Gaston sneaks up and stubs the Beast in the back with a knife. The Beast roars in pain and Gaston pulls the knife out and swings back for another shot. The Beast starts to fall, knocks over Gaston off his balances. Belle reaches forward and pulls the Beast back, while Gaston falls off into the castle moats to his deaths with a scream. Belle helps the injured Beast up onto the balcony, where he lies down on the floor. The servants come rushing out but stay out of sight. The Beast lays dying with Belle at his side; meanwhile, the rose is down to its last petal, weakly]'' 
:'''Beast''': You... You came back.
:'''Belle''': Of course, I came back. I couldn't let them.... ''[hugs the Beast]'' Oh, this is all my fault. If only I'd gotten here sooner.
:'''Beast''': Maybe it's better...it's better this way.
:'''Belle''': Don't talk like that. You'll be all right. We're together now. Everything's going to be fine. You'll see.
:'''Beast''': ''[last words; reaches up and touches Belle's cheek]'' At least...I got to see you...1 last time. ''[his paw falls and his eyes close as he dies]''
:'''Belle''': ''[gasps]'' No. No. Please. Please. Please don't leave me. ''[sobs]'' I love you. ''[The last petal falls away, leaving Cogsworth, Lumière, and Mrs. Potts distraught; suddenly, a magical shower falls around the Beast and Belle, and the Beast rises into the air, turning into a human prince Adam, whose name was Prince Adam; then, he lands on the ground and when he gets up, he turns toward Belle]''
:'''Prince Adam''': Belle... it's me.
:'''Belle''': ''[looks into his eyes and recognizes him from the portrait]'' It ''is'' you!
:''[They kiss, a fireworks display explodes around them. The gloom surrounding, the castle disappears, revealing a blue sky]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Last lines; The castle is transformed, with the gargoyles changing into cherubs. Finally, we return to the balcony, where the servants hop out to meet Prince Adam and Belle. One by one, they are transformed back to their original human conditions]''
:'''Prince Adam''': Lumiere! Cogsworth! Oh, Mrs. Potts! Look at us! ''[Chip comes riding in on Footstool]''
:'''Chip''': Mama! Mama! ''[The pair transforms back into a boy and dog]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': ''[Picking up her boy]'' Oh, my goodness!
:'''Lumière''': It is a miracle! 
:'''Belle''': How wonderful! ''[Prince Adam picks up Belle and swings her around. The ruffles of her skirt wipe to the ballroom, where all are gathered to celebrate, Prince Adam and Belle dance around the room as the rest at the characters]''
:'''Lumière''': Ah, l'amour. ''[Lumière says this, and a maid, obviously the former Featherduster walks by, brushing him on the chin; chuckles, starts to chase after her, but Cogsworth stops him]''
:'''Cogsworth''': Well, Lumiere, old friend. Shall we let bygones be bygones?
:'''Lumière''': Of course, mon ami. I told you she would break the spell.
:'''Cogsworth''': I beg your pardon, old friend, but I believe I told you.
:'''Lumière''': No, you didn't. I told you.
:'''Cogsworth''': You most certainly did not, you pompous paraffin-headed pea-brain!
:'''Lumière''': En garde, you overgrown pocket watch! ''[Lumière takes off his glove and slaps Cogsworth across the face with it. They begin to fight. Cut to Belle and Prince Adam who continue to dance around the floor. The camera stops on Mrs. Potts, Chip and Maurice, who is beginning to crying]''
:'''Chip''': Are they going to live happily ever after, Mama?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Of course, my dear. Of course.
:'''Chip''': ''[tiny pauses]'' Do I still have to sleep in the cupboard? ''[Maurice laughs and Mrs. Potts hugs her child and laughs. Cut to a camera looking over the entire ballroom with all in the shot. It slowly zooms out with Belle and Prince Adam dancing around the room, and fades into the final stained glass window, this one with Belle and Prince Adam in the center, surrounded by the rest of the characters]''
:'''Chorus''': Certain as the sun / Rising in the east / Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme / Beauty and the beast!| Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme / Beauty and the beast!

===Special Edition Release===
:'''Cogsworth''': Right then! You all know why we're here. We have exactly 12 hours, 36 minutes, and 15 seconds to create the most magical, spontaneous, romantic atmosphere known to man or beast. ''[Chuckles weakly]'' &quot;Or beast..&quot; Right. Need I remind you that if the last petal falls from this rose, the spell will never be broken! Very well. You all know your assignments. Half of you to the West Wing, half of you to the East Wing, the rest of you, come with me.
:'''Lumière''': Hoho, lighten up Cogsworth, and let nature take its course.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': It's obvious there's a spark between them.
:'''Cogsworth''': Yes yes yes... But there's no harm in fanning the flames. You know, a little. Besides, they must fall in love tonight if we ever expect to be human again.
:'''Lumière''': Aaah...human again...
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Human again...
:'''Lumière''': Yes, think what that means... ''[singing]'' I'll be cooking again, be good-looking again, With a mademoiselle on each arm / When I'm human again, only human again / Poised and polish and gleaming with charm / I'll be courting again, chic and sporting again
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Which should cause several husbands alarm
:'''Lumière''': ''(Ha, ha!)'' I'll hop down off this shelf, and tout de suite be myself,
:'''Lumière, Mrs. Potts and Cogsworth''': I can't wait to be human again
:'''Essentials''': When we're human again, only human again / When we're knickknacks and whatnots no more / When we're human again, good and human again
:'''Wardrobe''': O, chérie, won't it all be top drawer? I'll wear lipstick and rouge / And I won't be so huge / Why, I'll easily fit through that door / I'll exude savoir faire / I'll wear gowns, I'll have hair / It's my prayer to be human again
:'''Mrs. Potts and Cogsworth''': When we're human again, only human again / When the world once more starts making sense
:'''Cogsworth''': I'll unwind, for a change
:'''Lumière''': Really? That'd be strange
:'''Cogsworth''': Can I help it if I'm t-t-tense? In a shack by the sea, I'll sit back, sipping tea Let my early retirement commence Far from fools made of wax, I'll get down to brass tacks and real-A-A-A-x!
:'''Chorus''': When I'm human again! So sweep the dust from the floor / Let's let some light in the room / I can feel, I can tell someone might break the spell any day now / Shine up the brass on the door / Alert the dust pail and broom / If it all goes as planned our time may be at hand any day now
:'''Fifi and the maids''': Open the shutters and let in some air
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Put these here and put those over there
:'''Chorus''': Sweep up the years, the sadness and tears and throw them away / We'll be human again, only human again / When the girl finally sets us all free / Cheeks a-blooming again, we're assuming again / We'll resume our long-lost joie de vivre / We'll be playing again, holidaying again / And we're praying it's ASAP / Little push, little shove / They could both fall in love / And we'll finally be human again...
:''[Transition to the library]''
:'''Belle''': &quot;...For there never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo.&quot;
:'''Beast''': Could you read it again?
:'''Belle''': Well, here. Why don't you read it to me?
:'''Beast''': Uhhh...Alright. Hmm...I-I can't.
:'''Belle''': You mean you never learned?
:'''Beast''': I learned, a little. It's just been so long.
:'''Belle''': Well here, I'll help you. Let's start...here.
:'''Beast''': Here, twoe...?
:'''Belle''': Two.
:'''Beast''': Two, I knew that. Two households, both alike in dignity...
:''[sung]''
:'''Chorus''': We'll be dancing again, we'll be twirling again / We'll whirling around with such ease / When we're human again, only human again / We'll go waltzing those old one-two-threes / We'll be floating again, we'll be gliding again /Stepping, striding, as fine as you please / Like a real human does, I'll be all that I was / On that glorious morn, when we're finally re-born / And we're all of us human again!

==CELINE DION &amp; PEABO BRYSON lyrics (Beauty and the Beast)==
:'''Celine Dion''': Ooh, ooh / Tale as old as time / True as it can be / Barely even friends / Then somebody bends / Unexpectedly
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Just a little change / Small, to say the least / Both a little scared / Neither one prepared
:'''Celine Dion &amp; Peabo Bryson''': Beauty and the beast / Ever just the same / Ever a surprise / Ever as before / Ever just as sure / As the sun will rise
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Whoa, whoa-oh, whoa, oh
:'''Celine Dion''': Ohh, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh
:'''Celine Dion &amp; Peabo Bryson''': Ever just the same
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Yeah / Ever a surprise
:'''Celine Dion &amp; Peabo Bryson''': Ever as before
:'''Celine Dion''': Ever just as sure
:'''Celine Dion &amp; Peabo Bryson''': As the sun will rise
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Oh, oh, oh
:'''Celine Dion''': Tale as old as time
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Ooh-ooh, ohh-ooh
:'''Celine Dion''': Tune as old as song
:'''Celine Dion &amp; Peabo Bryson''': Bittersweet and strange / Finding you can change / Learning you were wrong
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Certain as the sun
:'''Celine Dion''': Certain as the sun
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Rising in the east
:'''Celine Dion''': Tale as old as time
:'''Celine Dion &amp; Peabo Bryson''': Song as old as rhyme / Beauty and the beast
:'''Celine Dion''': Tale as old as time
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Song as old as rhyme
:'''Celine Dion &amp; Peabo Bryson''': Beauty and the beast
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Oh Oh, whoa-oh
:'''Celine Dion''': Ooh / Beauty and the beast

== About ''Beauty and the Beast (1991 film)'' ==
* Well, originally when we were planning the big elaborate dance sequence that would include a moving camera craning up to the ceiling on the characters that would really have more of a live action feel to them—there was always this nagging doubt in our minds that it wasn't going to work at all (laughs). We had sort of a back-up plan just in case, if none of this works we'll just turn off all the lights and Bella and the Beast will be dancing in a little spotlight in a darkened room like an ice skating show (laughs). Fortunately, when we got the first piece of test film back, it was amazingly breathtaking, made a big sigh of relief because we knew it was going to work.
* We actually designed all the camera movement first and animated the characters to match that.
* We created computer generated stand-ins, the ballroom was sort of a chicken-wire kind of thing and Bella &amp; the Beast were represented by these box and egg sort of things.
* You have to make all the same decisions that a live action director would have to make. Everything from where to put the camera to what the emotional tone of the scene is going to be, in addition to answering all the questions about costume design and weather and color and all the numerous elements that go into making the scene. We're there every step of the way from the very first crude character designs and early storyboards to how loud the footsteps of the Beast should be as he's walking across the marble floor. We shepherd the process from beginning to end.
** [[w:Kirk Wise|Kirk Wise]] [http://www.bigmoviezone.com/articles/index.html?uniq=84]

== Cast (voices) ==
* [[w:Paige O'Hara|Paige O'Hara]] – B. la Belle the Beauty
* [[w:Rex Everhart|Rex Everhart]] – Maurice
* [[w:Robby Benson|Robby Benson]] – Master B. le Bête the Beast/Prince Adam
* [[w:Richard White (actor)|Richard White]] – Gaston
* [[w:Jerry Orbach|Jerry Orbach]] – Monsieur Lumière the Candelabra
* [[w:David Ogden Stiers|David Ogden Stiers]] – Narrator, Sir Cogsworth the Clock
* [[w:Angela Lansbury|Angela Lansbury]] – Mrs. Potts the Teapot
* [[w:Mary Kay Bergman|Mary Kay Bergman]] – Claudette Bimbette, Laurette Bimbette
* [[w:Kath Soucie|Kath Soucie]] – Paulette Bimbette
* [[w:Jesse Corti|Jesse Corti]] – Monsieur LeFou
* [[w:Bradley Pierce|Bradley Pierce]] – Chip Potts the Teacup
* [[w:Kimmy Robertson|Kimmy Robertson]] – Fifi Plumette Featherduster
* [[w:Hal Smith|Hal Smith]] – Philippe B. the Horse
* [[w:Jack Angel|Jack Angel]] – Tavern Man, Tom
* [[w:Philip Proctor|Phil Proctor]] – Dick
* [[w:Bill Farmer|Bill Farmer]] – Stanley
* [[w:Patrick Pinney|Patrick Pinney]] – Walter
* Mickie McGowan – French Peasant Woman
* Carole Jeghers – Woman holding the baby

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Beauty and the Beast (1991 film)}}
* {{imdb title|id=0101414|title=Beauty and the Beast}}

{{Disney's Beauty and the Beast}}
{{Authority control}}
[[Category:Beauty and the Beast (franchise)]]
[[Category:1991 animated films]]
[[Category:1991 American animated films]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated films]]
[[Category:American animated romance films]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical films]]
[[Category:American children's films]]
[[Category:Gary Trousdale films]]
[[Category:Kirk Wise films]]
[[Category:Screenplays by Joe Ranft]]
[[Category:United States National Film Registry films]]
[[Category:Animated films about princesses]]
[[Category:Animated films set in castles]]
[[Category:Disney Princess films]]
[[Category:Animated films about father–daughter relationships]]
[[Category:Animated films about shapeshifting]]
[[Category:Disney Renaissance]]
[[Category:Films about animal rights]]
[[Category:Best Original Song Academy Award winners]]
[[Category:Best Original Score Academy Award winners]]
[[Category:1990s English-language films]]
[[Category:Films about princes]]
[[Category:The Walt Disney Company]]</text>
      <sha1>nu6qcfb6l81h5xn854uhlzs5veqxdqc</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944004</id>
      <parentid>3944003</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T18:06:01Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-26235-05</username>
        <id>3314792</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <origin>3944004</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="97620" sha1="0z1kvr7nz0sifdqzqowinwtcmiop95j" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
[[File:Beauty and the Beast in a Disneyland parade.JPG|thumb|right|In a Walt Disney World parade.]]
'''''[[w:Beauty and the Beast (1991 film)|The Beauty and the Beast]]''''', also known as simply '''''Beauty and the Beast''''', '''''The Beauty and Beast''''' or '''''Beauty and Beast''''', is an American [[w:1991 in film|1991 animated film]] about a prince cursed to spend his days as a hideous monster who sets out to regain his humanity by earning a young woman's love. It was produced by [[w:Walt Disney Animation Studios|Walt Disney Feature Animation]] and released by [[w:Walt Disney Pictures|Walt Disney Pictures]].
:''Directed by [[w:Gary Trousdale|Gary Trousdale]] and [[w:Kirk Wise|Kirk Wise]]. Written by [[w:Linda Woolverton|Linda Woolverton]]''.
:''Music by [[Alan Menken]]'' and includes &quot;[[w:Beauty and the Beast (Disney song)|Beauty and the Beast]]&quot;. Written by [[w:Howard Ashman|Howard Ashman]] and performed by [[w:Peabo Brysonf|Peabo Bryson]] and [[w:Celine Dion|Celine Dion]].
{{center|'''The most beautiful love story ever told.'''}}

== Belle ==
* What is this place? Phillipe, please, steady. ''[enters the gate and sees Maurice's hat on the ground]'' Papa.
* That's funny, I'm sure there was someone... I-I-Is there anyone here?
* He's no monster, Gaston. You are!
* ''[gasps]''  No... no! No, please... Please don't leave me... ''[she sobs softly, laying her face against his chest]'' I love you...

== Prince Adam/The Beast ==
* Yes... but you must promise to stay here forever.
* The castle is your home now, so you can go anywhere you like, except the west wing. ''['''Belle''': What's in the West--] [growls]'' It's forbidden!
* You will join me for dinner! THAT'S NOT A REQUEST!

== Gaston ==
* ''['''LeFou''': So, how'd it go?]'' I'll have Belle for my wife. Make no mistake about that.
* Take whatever booty you can find, but remember, the Beast is mine!
* If I didn't know better, I'd think you had feelings for this monster.
* What's the matter, Beast? Too kind and gentle to fight back?

== Lumière ==
* Ma chère, mademoiselle. It is with deepest pride pleasure and greatest pride that I welcome you tonight. And now, we invite you to relax. Let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents...your dinner.
* Don't you see? She's the one. The girl we have been waiting for. She has come to break the spell!

== Cogsworth ==
* Couldn't keep quiet, could we? Just had to invite him to stay, didn't we? Serve him tea, sit in the master's chair, pet the pooch.
* Dinner is served.

== Mrs. Potts ==
* How would you like a nice spot of tea, sir? It'll warm you up in no time.
* Well, you can start by making yourself more presentable. Straighten up, try to act like a gentleman.

== Chip Potts ==
* Mama. There's a girl in the castle.
* You guys gotta try this thing.

== Maurice ==
* If no one will help me, then I'll go back alone. Yes, is that everything? I don't care what it takes. I'll find that castle and somehow, I... I'll get her out of there.
* Hitch up Philippe, girl. I'm off to the fair!

== Others ==
* '''Tavern Man''': Maurice?
* '''Monsieur D'Arque''': So you want me to throw her father in the asylum unless she agrees to marry you? ''[They both nod in agreement]'' Oh, that is despicable. I love it!
* '''Tom''': Who?
* '''Dick''': Is it a big beast?
* '''Stanley''': With a long, ugly snout?
* '''Walter''': And sharp, cruel fangs?

== Dialogue ==
:'''Narrator''': ''[first lines]'' Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a young prince lived in a shining castle. Although he had everything his heart desired, the prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind. But then, one winter's night, an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold. Repulsed by her haggard appearance, the prince sneered at the gift and turned the old woman away, but she warned him not to be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within. And when he dismissed her again, the old woman's ugliness melted away to reveal a beautiful enchantress. The prince tried to apologize, but it was too late, for she had seen that there was no love in his heart, and as punishment, she transformed him into a hideous beast, and placed a powerful spell on the castle, and all who lived there. Ashamed of his monstrous form, the beast concealed himself inside his castle, with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose, which would bloom until his 21st year. If he could learn to love another, and earn her love in return by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years passed, he fell into despair, and lost all hope, for who could ever learn to love a beast?
:''[We have seen a progression of stained glass windows illustrating the narration, as well as Beast shredding his portrait, the camera slowly zooms out from the castle. A girl with beautiful, long, flowing and wavy brown hair tied up in a low ponytail tied up by a ribbon  captivating, large, striking, expressive and round hazel eyes, full pink lips, fair skin, rosy cheeks, full, soft and slightly arched eyebrows, small and petite duchess nose, a heart-shaped round face and a sculpted, slim and well-proportioned figure, wearing a medium-length cerulean blue sleeveless dress with a white long puffy-sleeved shirt with a puffy collar underneath, a white apron around her waist, a white petticoat, and dark brown ballet flats with darker brown soles on her feet, her name is Belle. She exits the front door and begins her walk into town]''
:'''Belle''': ''[singing]'' Little town, it's a quiet village / Every day, like the one before / Little town, full of little people / Waking up to say?
:'''Townsfolk #1''': Bonjour!
:'''Townsfolk #2''': Bonjour!
:'''Townsfolk #3''': Bonjour!
:'''Townsfolk #4''':  Bonjour!
:'''Townsfolk #5''':  Bonjour!
:'''Belle''': ''[singing]'' There goes the baker with his tray like always / The same old bread and rolls to sell / Every mornin' just the same / Since the mornin' that we came / To this poor provincial town...
:'''Baker''': Good mornin', Belle!
:''[Belle jumps over to the bakery]''
:'''Belle''': Mornin' monsieur!
:'''Baker''': Where are you off to?
:'''Belle''': The bookshop! I just finished the most wonderful story, about a beanstalk and an ogre and...
:'''Baker''': ''[ignoring her]'' That's nice...Marie, the baguettes! Hurry up!!
:'''Townsfolk''': Look there she goes, that girl is strange no question / Dazed and distracted, can't you tell?
:'''Woman #1''': Never part of any crowd
:'''Barber''': Cause her head's up on some cloud
:'''Townsfolk''': No denying she's a funny girl, that Belle!
:'''Driver''': Bonjour!
:'''Woman #2''': Good day!
:'''Driver''': How is your family?
:'''Woman #3''': Bonjour!
:'''Merchant''': Good day!
:'''Woman #3''': How is your wife?
:'''Woman #4''': I need six eggs!
:'''Man #1''': That's too expensive!
:'''Belle''': There must be more than this provincial life!
:''[Belle enters the bookshop]''
:'''Bookseller''': Ah, Belle!
:'''Belle''': Good mornin'. I've come to return the book I borrowed.
:'''Bookseller''': ''[putting the book back on the shelf]'' Finished already?
:'''Belle''': Oh, I couldn't put it down! Have you got anything new?
:'''Bookseller''': ''[laughing]'' Not since yesterday.
:'''Belle''': ''[on ladder of bookshelf]'' That's all right. I'll borrow... this one.
:'''Bookseller''': That one? But you've read it twice!
:'''Belle''': Well, it's my favorite! ''[Belle swings off side of ladder, rolling down it's track]'' Far off places, daring swordfights, magic spells, a prince in disguise!
:'''Bookseller''': ''[handing her the book]'' Well, if you like it all that much, it's yours!
:'''Belle''': But sir!
:'''Bookseller''': I insist!
:'''Belle''': Well, thank you. Thank you, very much! ''[leaves bookshop]''
:'''Men''': ''[looking in window, then turning to watch her]'' Look there she goes / That girl is so peculiar! / I wonder if she's feeling well!
:'''Women''': With a dreamy far-off look!
:'''Men''': And her nose stuck in a book!
:'''All''': What a puzzle to the rest of us is Belle! ''[Belle sits on the edge of a fountain, singing to a flock of sheep and the washing woman in the background, who leaves]''
:'''Belle''': Ohhhhh, isn't this amazing! / It's my favorite part because, you'll see! / Here's where she meets Prince Charming / But she won't discover that it's him 'til chapter three!
:'''Woman #5''': Now it's no wonder that her name means 'beauty' / Her looks have got no parallel!
:'''Merchant''': But behind that fair facade / I'm afraid she's rather odd / Very different from the rest of us...
:'''All''': She's nothing like the rest of us / Yes different from the rest of us is Belle.
:'''LeFou''': ''[first words]'' Wow! You didn't miss a shot, Gaston! You're the greatest hunter in the whole world!
:'''Gaston''': ''[first words]'' I know!
:'''LeFou''': Huh. No beast alive stands a chance against you...and no girl for that matter!
:'''Gaston''': It's true, LeFou, and I've got my sights set on that one! ''[pointing to Belle]''
:'''LeFou''': The inventor's daughter?
:'''Gaston''': She's the one! The lucky girl I'm going to marry.
:'''LeFou''': But she's--
:'''Gaston''': The most beautiful girl in town.
:'''LeFou''': I know--
:'''Gaston''': And that makes her the best. And don't I deserve the best?
:'''LeFou''': Well of course, I mean you do, but I mean...
:'''Gaston''': ''[singing]'' Right from the moment when I met her, saw her / I said she's gorgeous and I fell / Here in town there's only she ''[Belle walks by and away]'' / Who is beautiful as me / So I'm making plans to woo and marry Belle.
:'''Bimbettes''': Look there he goes, isn't he dreamy / Monsieur Gaston, oh he's so cute / Be still my heart, I'm hardly breathing / He's such a tall, dark, strong and handsome brute. ''[Belle walks easily through the crowd of people in the town, Gaston struggles to catch up to her]''
:'''Man #1''': Bonjour!
:'''Man #2''': Good day!
:'''Man #3''': Mais oui!
:'''Woman #1''': You call this bacon?
:'''Woman #2''': What lovely grapes!
:'''Man #4''': Some cheese!
:'''Woman #3''': 10 yards!
:'''Man #4''': 1 pound!
:'''Gaston''': Excuse me!
:'''Man #4''': I'll get the knife!
:'''Gaston''': Please let me through!
:'''Woman #4''': This bread, it's stale!
:'''Man #5''': Those fish! They smell!
:'''Man #6''': Madame's mistaken!
:'''Belle''': ''[singing]'' There must be more than this provincial life!
:'''Gaston''': ''[singing]'' Just watch I'm going to make Belle my wife! ''[Townsfolk gather around Gaston, and eventually surround him]''
:'''Chorus''': Look there she goes a girl who's strange but special / A most peculiar mademoiselle / It's a pity and a sin / She doesn't quite fit in! / 'Cause she really is a funny girl! / A beauty but a funny girl / She really is a funny girl! / That Belle!?
:'''Gaston''': Bonjour! Whoa-oh! ''[song ends; to Belle]'' Hello, Belle.
:'''Belle''': Bonjour, Gaston. ''[Gaston grabs the book from Belle]'' Gaston, may I have my book, please?
:'''Gaston''': How can you read this? There's no pictures!
:'''Belle''': Well, some people use their imagination.
:'''Gaston''': Belle, it's about time you got your head out of those books, ''[tossing book into the mud]'' and paid attention to more important things. Like me. The whole town's talking about it. ''[The Bimbettes, who are looking on, sighing romantically. Belle has picked up the book and is cleaning off the mud]'' It's not right for a woman to read. Soon she starts getting ideas and thinking.
:'''Belle''': Gaston, you are positively primeval.
:'''Gaston''': ''[putting his hand around her shoulders]'' Why, thank you, Belle. What do you say you and me take a walk over to the tavern, and take a look at my trophies?
:'''Belle''': Maybe some other time.
:'''Bimbette #1''': What's the matter with her?
:'''Bimbette #2''': She's crazy!
:'''Bimbette #3''': He's gorgeous.
:'''Belle''': Please, Gaston, I can't. I have to get home to help my father. Goodbye.
:'''LeFou''': Ha ha ha, that crazy old loon, he needs all the help he can get! ''[he and Gaston laugh heartily]''
:'''Belle''': ''[angrily]'' Don't you talk about my father that way.
:'''Gaston''': Yeah, don't talk about her father that way! ''[conks LeFou on the head]''
:'''Belle''': My father's not crazy! He's a genius! ''[explosion in background. Gaston and LeFou continue laughing. She rushes home and descends into the basement; coughed]'' Papa?!
:'''Maurice''': How on earth did that happen? ''[Belle coughs again]'' Doggone it! ''[pulls the barrel off his waist, along with his pants]''
:'''Belle''': Are you alright, Papa?
:'''Maurice''': I'm about ready to give up on this hunk of junk! ''[kicks the machine]''
:'''Belle''': You always say that.
:'''Maurice''': I mean it this time! I'll never get this boneheaded contraption to work!
:'''Belle''': Yes, you will. And you'll win first prize at the fair tomorrow. 
:'''Maurice''': Hmmmph!
:'''Belle''': And become a world-famous inventor.
:'''Maurice''': You really believe that?
:'''Belle''': I always have.
:'''Maurice''': Well, what are we waitin' for? I'll have this thin' fixed in no time. Hand me that... The dog-legged clincher there. So, did you have a good time in town today?
:'''Belle''': I got a new book. Papa, do you think I'm odd?
:'''Maurice''': My daughter? Odd? Ha! Where would you get an idea like that?
:'''Belle''': I don't know. It's just that I'm not sure I fit in here. There's no one I can really talk to.
:'''Maurice''': What about that Gaston? He's a handsome fella.
:'''Belle''': He's handsome, all right, and rude and conceited and... Oh, Papa, he's not for me.
:'''Maurice''': Well, don't you worry. Cause this invention's gonna be the start of a new life for us. ''[comes out from under machine]'' I think that's done it. Now, let's give it a try.
:''[Machine whirs and chops wood, just as it should]''
:'''Belle''': It works!
:'''Maurice''': It does? It does!
:'''Belle''': You did it! You really did it!
:'''Maurice''': Hitch up Philippe, girl. I'm off to the fair!
:''[Log strikes him in the head, knocking him out. Fade to later in the day]''
:'''Belle''': Goodbye, Papa! Good luck!
:'''Maurice''': Goodbye, Belle, and take care while I'm gone!
:''[Fade to the deep forest, night. After a few hours of traveling, it seems obvious that they are lost, after Belle plays the violin. Philippe walks on cautiously, frightened out of his wits]''
:'''Maurice''': We should be there by now. ''[above them, an owl hoots, adding to the spookiness of the environment]'' Maybe we missed a turn. I guess I should have taken... wait a minute. ''[raising his lantern toward a sign with arrows pointing in separate directions, though the writing is faded and unreadable. Philippe snorts, and whinnies to go one fashion, but he pulls his reins in the separate direction]'' No, let's go this way! ''[Philippe whinnies and looks at the path Maurice has picked. It is dark and foggy with light blue clouds, with many trees forming an archway. Then he looks at the other path, which is much more inviting. Philippe whinnies to go on the safer path, but he pulls him toward the other one]'' Come on, Philippe, it's a shortcut! We'll be there in no time. ''[the two continue down the path, albeit slowly due to Philippe, fearing what can be lurking about in the darkness. At that moment, a shadow whisks past them and the sound of wolf howling fills the air, spooking Philippe whinnies; looking at his map]'' This can't be right. Where have you taken us, Philippe? We'd better turn around. ''[suddenly, the howling becomes louder. Philippe whinnies to back up, afraid of whatever might be around them]'' Whoa. Whoa, boy. Whoa, now. Whoa, Philippe. ''[but the spooked horse does not stop in time, and bumps into a hollow tree. A flocks of bats swarm out and surround them]'' Look out! No! ''[Philippe runs off in fear, not noticing where he's going]'' Whoa! Whoa, boy! ''[eventually, his steed stops until he sees where he is; at the edge of a very tall cliff]'' Back up! Back up! Back up! ''[they back off slowly, yet afraid to an inch of their lives]'' Good boy, good boy. That's good, that's–back up! Steady. Steady! Now, steady. Steady. ''[the howling is now so loud, Philippe whinnying]'' Oh, no, Philippe?! ''[looks up and sees wolves growling at him. Maurice runs away, being chased by the wolves. He stumbles down a hill, and lands at the gate of a castle. He grabs the locked gate and tries to shake it open]'' Help! Is... Is someone there? Help!
:''[The gate opens, and Maurice runs in. He slams the gate in the faces of the wolves. Leaving his hat on the ground as the rain begins to fall, Maurice runs to the castle and bangs on the door. It creaks open and he enters, cautiously]''
:'''Maurice''': Hello? Hello?
:''[Watching from a table near the entrance are Lumière and Cogsworth]''
:'''Lumière''': ''[barely whispering]'' Poor fellow must have lost his way in the woods.
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[also whispering]'' Keep quiet! Maybe he'll go away.
:'''Maurice''': Is someone there?
:'''Cogsworth''': Not a word, Lumiere. Not one word!
:'''Maurice''': I don't mean to intrude, but I've lost my horse and I need a place to stay for the night.
:'''Lumière''': ''[looking at Cogsworth like a child having just found a lost puppy]'' Oh, Cogsworth, have a heart.
:'''Cogsworth''': Shush shush shhhhh! ''[puts hand over Lumière's mouth, who promptly proceeds to touch his lit candle hand to Cogsworth's hand]'' Ow, ow! '''''OW, OW, OW, OUCH!!!!!'''''
:'''Lumière''': Of course, monsieur, you are welcome here.
:'''Maurice''': ''[looking around in confusion]'' Who said that?
:''[He picks up the candlestick for light, not realizing that the speaker is in his hand]''
:'''Lumière''': ''[tapping him on the shoulder]'' Over here!
:'''Maurice''': ''[spins around, pulling Lumière to the other side]'' Where?
:'''Lumière''': ''[taps Maurice on the side of the head. Maurice looks at Lumière]'' Hello!
:'''Maurice''': Oh!!!! ''[startled, he drops Lumière onto the floor]'' Incredible!
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[hopping over]'' Well, now you've done it, Lumière. Splendid, just peachy--aaarrrgghh!
:''[Maurice picks up Cogsworth]''
:'''Maurice''': How is this accomplished?
:''[He fiddles with Cogsworth]''
:'''Cogsworth''': Put me down! At once! ''[Maurice tickles the bottoms of Cogsworth's feet. He laughs. He begins to wind the spring on the back of Cogsworth's head, twisting his face around with the clock hands. Maurice opens the front of Cogsworth and begins to play with his pendulum. Cogsworth slams the door shut on his finger]'' Stop that! Stop that, I say! Sir, close that at once, do you mind!
:'''Maurice''': I beg your pardon, it's just that I've never seen a clock that...aah...I mean...aah aah aah-chooo!!!
:''[Maurice sneezes in the face of Cogsworth, who proceeds to wipe his face off using his clock hands in a very anachronistic windshield wiper manner. Maurice sniffles, indicating the cold he has caught from being in the rain]''
:'''Lumière''': Oh, you are soaked to the bone, monsieur. Come, warm yourself by the fire.
:'''Maurice''': Thank you.
:''[Lumière and Maurice head towards the den, with Cogsworth running after them]''
:'''Cogsworth''': No, no, no, do you know what the master would do if he finds you here. ''[Beast is watching the action from an overhead walkway, and rushes off as the trio enters the den]'' I demand that you stop...right...there! ''[Cogsworth tumbles down the steps. Maurice takes a seat in a large chair in front of a roaring fire]'' Oh, no, not the master's chair! ''[Footstool rushes past Cogsworth, barking up a storm]'' I'm not seeing this, I'm not seeing this!
:'''Maurice''': ''[as Footstool rushes up to him]'' Well, hello there, boy. ''[Footstool props himself up under the feet of Maurice. Coatrack enters and removes his cloak]'' What service!
:'''Cogsworth''': All right, this has gone far enough. I'm in charge here...
:''[Cogsworth is run over by the (once again) anachronistic IndyCar sounding teacart of Mrs. Potts]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': ''[arriving by the side of Maurice]'' How would you like a nice spot of tea, sir? It'll warm you up in no time.
:''[Mrs. Potts pours tea into cup, Chip, which hops over into Maurice's open hand]''
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[from face down position on carpet]'' No! No tea, no tea!!!
:'''Chip''': ''[as Maurice sips the tea]'' Ha ha! His mustache tickles, Mama!
:'''Maurice''': ''[startled by the cup]'' Oh! Hello!
:''[The door to the den slams open and a strong gust of wind blows into the room, extinguishing Lumière's flames and the fire in the fireplace. Cogsworth dives for cover. Mrs. Potts begins to shake. Chip jumps back onto the tea cart and takes refuge from behind his mother]''
:'''Chip''': Uh-oh!
:''[Beast enters (he is a chimera a mixture of several animals, who would probably be classified as a carnivore overall. he has with the goatee of a tahr, the lower jaw of a bulldog, the head hair and coat of a bigfoot, the eye masks of a st. bernard, the head shape of a demon nun, the head of an minotaur, the eyespots of a panda, the nose of a rat, the beard of a goat, the head structure, size, body build, and hump of an american bison, the voice, speak, button lip, and beard brow of sweetums, the mane hair of a warthog, the top lip of a witch, the rims of an owl, the face of a mandrill, the jaws of a leopard, the cheek stripes of a thompson’s gazelle, the teeth and cheek ruffs of a tiger, the jowl of a pig, the eye sockets of an triceratops, the hair and facial of a sable antelope, the fangs of a tabby cat, the tusks of a wild boar, the facial appearance of a takin, the eyes of a human the horned head and torso of a yak, the cheek-striped masks and throat mane of a kudu, the muzzle of a baboon, the earmarks of a deer, the ears of a cow, the eyebrows, forehead, strong muscles, and chest of a gorilla, the poll of a sheep, the upper lip of a mountain lion, the mascaras of a meerkat, the cheek stripe-mane of a chinstrap penguin, the horns of a bull, the maw, mouth, sounds, and mane of a lion, the brows of a monkey, the neck hair of an ibis, the facial ruffs of a lynx, the head shape, neck mane, and ear masks of a wildebeest, the back mane of a aardwolf, the eye rings of a crow, the ear hair of a donkey, the face ruffs and toe claws of a fox, the nose bridge of a jaguar, the neck and humped shoudler of a rhino, the crest of a spotted hyena, the arms, fur, claws, and body of a bear, the build of a hippo, the body-build structure of thog, the haircut and toes of a border collie, the hips and hindquarters of a t-rex, and the legs, feet, and tail of a wolf). We see him in full for the first time. He is on all fours. He looks around in the darkness]''
:'''Beast''': ''[first words; growling his words]'' There's a stranger here.
:'''Lumière''': ''[who has relit his flames]'' Master, allow me to explain. The gentleman was lost in the woods and he was cold and wet, so...
:''[Lumière's last sentence is drowned out by the very loud growl of Beast, which puts out his flames once again. Lumière looks down, dejected]''
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[coming out from under a rug]'' Master, I'd like to take this moment to say, I was against this from the start. It was all his fault. I tried to stop them, but would they listen to me? No, no... ''[Again, Beast's growl drowns out Cogsworth]''
:''[The Beast barges in to see Maurice getting settled in the castle]''
:'''Beast''': Who are you?! What are you doing here?!
:'''Maurice''': I-I-I was lost in the woods and--
:'''Beast''': You're not '''WELCOME HERE!'''
:'''Maurice''': I-I'm...I'm sorry.
:'''Beast''': What are you '''STARING AT?!'''
:'''Maurice''': Nothing.
:'''Beast''': So...you've come to stare at the '''BEAST, HAVE YOU?!?!''' ''[blocks Maurice's way]''
:'''Maurice''': ''[pleaders]'' Please! I mean no harm, I just needed a place to stay!
:'''Beast''': I'll give you a place to stay! ''[picks up Maurice]''
:'''Maurice''': ''[as the Beast takes him to the tower]'' No, no, please! No! No! ''[door slams]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''LeFou''': Heh! Oh boy! Belle's gonna get the surprise of her life, huh Gaston?
:'''Gaston''': Yep. This is her lucky day.
:''[Gaston lets go of a branch, which swings back and hits LeFou in the mouth. Gaston turns to the band, wedding guests and others, apparently just out of sight of Belle's cottage.]''
:'''Gaston''': I'd like to thank you all for coming to my wedding. But first, I'd better go in there and... propose to the girl. ''[chuckles; the male guests laugh and the Bimbettes sob]'' And you, LeFou. When Belle and I come out that door...
:'''LeFou''': Oh, I know! I know! I strike up the band!
:''[The band plays &quot;Here Comes the Bride,&quot; loud and fast, until Gaston rams a tuba down on LeFou's head]''
:'''Gaston''': Not yet!
:'''LeFou''': ''[sticked his lips through the mouthpiece]'' Sorry!
:''[There was a knock on the door.]''
:'''Belle''': Gaston, what a pleasant surprise.
:'''Gaston''': Isn't it though? I'm just full of surprises. You know, Belle. There's not a girl in town who wouldn't love to be in your shoes. This is the day...''[Gaston pauses by a mirror and licks his teeth clean.]'' This is the day your dreams come true.
:'''Belle''': What do you know about my dreams, Gaston?
:'''Gaston''': Plenty! Here, picture this. ''[sits, props muddy boots on Belle's book, kicks them off]'' A rustic hunting lodge, my latest kill roasting on the fire, and my little wife, massaging my feet, while the little ones play with the dogs. We'll have six or seven.
:'''Belle''': Dogs?
:'''Gaston''': No, Belle! Strapping boys, like me!
:'''Belle''': Imagine that. ''[retrieves book and shelves it]''
:'''Gaston''': And do you know who that wife will be?
:'''Belle''': Let me think.
:'''Gaston''': You, Belle!
:'''Belle''': I'm speechless! I really don't know what to say.
:'''Gaston''': Say you'll marry me!
:'''Belle''': I'm very sorry, Gaston, but... ''[turns the doorknob]'' ...but I just don't deserve you! 
:''[She opens the door]''
:'''Gaston''': Whoa!
:''[Gaston stumbles out and she throws his boots after him before closing it. Gaston lands in a pig's mud wallow as LeFou conducts the band in &quot;Here Comes the Bride&quot;]''
:'''LeFou''': Ooh, so, how'd it go? Oomph! Uh.
:'''Gaston''': ''[picks up LeFou, angrily]'' I'll have Belle for my wife! Make no mistake about that! 
:'''LeFou''': Oh.
:''[throws LeFou into the mud and storms off]''
:'''LeFou''': Hmm! Touchy! ''[The pig oinks in agreement]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Belle''': ''[to the chickens]'' Is he gone? ''[seeing he is, hurried outside, a bucket of chickens feed in her hand]'' Can you imagine? He asked me to marry him. Me, the wife of that boorish, brainless? ''[walks of the animals, and feeding the chickens, singing]'' Madame Gaston, can't you just see it? / Madame Gaston, his little wife. ''[kicks the buckets, the chickens clucking and goats bleats]'' / No, sir, not me, I guarantee it / I want much more than this provincial life. / I want adventure in the great wide somewhere / I want it more than I can tell / And for once it might be grand / To have someone understand / I want so much more than they've got planned ''[Phillipe runs into the open field. Belle looks at him, disturbed that Maurice is not with him.]''
:'''Belle''': Phillipe! What are you doing here? Where's Papa? Where is he, Philippe? What happened? Oh, we have to find him, you have to take me to him. ''[Belle unhitches the wagon from Philippe.]''
:''[Outside the castle gate. (How Phillipe brought Belle there is a mystery, seeing as Phillipe never made it to the castle with Maurice.)]''
:'''Belle''': What is this place?
:'''Philippe''': ''[snorts, neighs]''
:'''Belle''': Phillipe, please, steady. Papa.
:'''Cogsworth''': Couldn't keep quiet, could we? Just had to invite him to stay, didn't we? Serve him tea, sit in the master's chair, pet the pooch.
:'''Lumière''': I was trying to be hospitable.
:'''Belle''': Hello? Is anyone here? Hello? Papa? Papa, are you here?
:'''Chip''': Momma. There's a girl in the castle!
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Now, Chip, I won't have you making up such wild stories.
:'''Chip''': But really, momma, I saw her.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Not another word. Into the tub.
:'''Featherduster''': A girl! I saw a girl in the castle!
:'''Chip''': See, I told ya!
:'''Cogsworth''': Irresponsible, devil-may-care, waxy eared, slack-jawed--
:'''Belle''': Papa?
:'''Lumière''': Did you see that? It's a girl!
:'''Cogsworth''': I know it's a girl.
:'''Lumière''': Don't you see? She's the one. The girl we have been waiting for. She has come to break the spell!
:'''Cogsworth''': Wait a minute, wait a minute!
:'''Belle''': Papa? Papa? Hello? Is someone here? Wait! I'm looking for my father! I... That's funny, I'm sure there was someone... I-I-Is there anyone here?
:'''Maurice''': Belle?
:'''Belle''': Oh, Papa!
:'''Maurice''': But how did you find me?
:'''Belle''': Oh, your hands are ice. I have to get you out of here!
:'''Maurice''': You must go! 
:'''Belle''': Who's done this to you? 
:'''Maurice''': No time to explain! You must go ''now!''
:'''Belle''': I won't leave you!
:'''Beast''': '''What are you doing here?!'''
:'''Maurice''': Run, Belle!
:'''Belle''': Who's there? Who are you?
:'''Beast''': The master of this castle.
:'''Belle''': I've come for my father. Please let him out! Can't you see he's sick?!
:'''Beast''': ''[angrily; losing patience]'' Then he shouldn't have trespassed here!
:'''Belle''': But he could die! Please, I'll do anything!
:'''Beast''': There's nothing you can do! He's my prisoner!
:'''Belle''': Oh, there must be some way I can... Wait! Take me instead. 
:'''Beast''': '''''YOU'''''... You would... take his place? 
:'''Maurice''': Belle, no! You don't know what you're doing!
:'''Belle''': If I did, would you let him go?
:'''Beast''': Yes. But... you must promise to stay here forever!
:'''Belle''': Come into the light.
:'''Maurice''': No, Belle! I won't let you do this!
:'''Belle''': You have my word.
:'''Beast''': Done!
:'''Maurice''': No, Belle. Listen to me. I'm old, I've lived my life-
:'''Belle''': Wait!
:'''Maurice''': '''Belle!'''
:'''Belle''': ''WAIT!!''
:'''Maurice''': No, please spare my daughter!
:'''Beast''': She's no longer your concern. Take him to the village.
:'''Maurice''': Please, let me out, please!
:'''Lumière''': Master?
:'''Beast''': What?
:'''Lumière''': Since the girl is going to be with us for quite some time, I was thinking that you might want to offer her a more comfortable room. Then again, maybe not.
:'''Belle''': You didn't even let me say goodbye. I'll never see him again. I didn't get to say goodbye.
:'''Beast''': I'll show you to your room.
:'''Belle''': My room? But I thought...
:'''Beast''': You wanna stay in the tower?
:'''Belle''': No.
:'''Beast''': Then follow me.
:'''Lumière''': Say something to her.
:'''Beast''': Hmm? Oh. I hope you like it here. The castle is your home now, so you can go anywhere you like, except the West Wing.
:'''Belle''': What's in the West...
:'''Beast''': It's forbidden! Now, if you need anything, my servants will attend you.
:'''Lumière''': Dinner... invite her to dinner.
:'''Beast''': ''[angrily; losing patience]'' You will join me for dinner. That's not a request!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%/&gt;
:'''Gaston''': ''[displeased about what happened to him]'' Who does she think she is? That girl has '''''tangled''''' with the wrong man! No one says no to Gaston!
:'''LeFou''': Heh-heh! Darn right!
:'''Gaston''': Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly Humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear! ''[throwing his two mugs of beer into the fireplace]''
:'''LeFou''': More beer?
:'''Gaston''': ''[frustratingly turning his chair away from the fireplace]'' What for? Nothing helps! I'm disgraced.
:'''LeFou''': Who, you? Never! Gaston, you've gotta pull yourself together! ''[singing]'' Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston / Looking so down in the dumps / Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston
:'''Old Cronies''': Hooray!
:'''LeFou''': Even when taking your lumps / There's no man in town as admired as you / You're everyone's favorite guy! / Everyone's awed and inspired by you / &lt;big&gt;'''''AND IT'S NOT... VERY HARD! TO SEE WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!'''''&lt;/big&gt; / Noooooo, oooone's sllllick as Gaston, no one's quick as Gaston / No one's next as incredibly thick as Gaston / For there's no man in town half as manly / Perfect, a pure paragon! / You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley / And they'll tell you who's team they'd prefer to be '''''yooooooown!!!!!!'''''
:''[LeFou has pulled a man's belt off, whose pants fall to the ground. LeFou jumps up and wraps the belt around Gaston's neck, who flexes and breaks it off. LeFou continues to dance around. Old cronies pick him up and swing him around]''
:'''Old Cronies''': Noooooo, oooone's been like Gaston, a king-pin like Gaston.
:'''LeFou''': No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston.
:'''Gaston''': As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!
:'''Old Cronies''': My, what a guy that Gaston! ''[swing LeFou back and forth into the camera. LeFou tickles Gaston's chin, who stands with pride]'' Give 5 hurrahs, give 12 hip-hips!
:'''LeFou''': Gaston is the best and the rest is all drips!
:''[LeFou swings up his arm in dance and throws a mug of beer in Gaston's face, who socks LeFou in the face]''
:'''All''': Noooooo, oooone, fights like Gaston, douses lights like Gaston.
:'''Stanley''': In a wrestling match, nobody bites like Gaston.
:'''Bimbettes''': For there's no one as burly and brawny.
:'''Gaston''': As you see I've got biceps to spare.
:'''LeFou''': Not a bit of him scraggly or scrawny.
:'''Gaston''': That's right! And every last inch of me's covered with hair! ''[Gaston fights with the men, then lifts a bench with the Bimbettes on it. He drops the bench on LeFou, then turns to the camera and reveals his hairy chest]''
:'''Old Cronies''': No one hits like Gaston, matches wits like Gaston.
:'''LeFou''': In a spitting match, nobody spits like Gaston!
:'''Gaston''': I'm especially good at expectorating! Ptooey!
:'''All''': '''''10 POINTS FOR GASTON!'''''
:''[Gaston plays a chess game with a man, then hits the board, sending it and pieces all over. He takes a bite of leather from the belt once wrapped around his neck, chews it and spits it into a spittoon, which falls and gets stuck on the head of LeFou]''
:'''Gaston''': When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs. Every morning to help me get '''''LARGE!!!''''' And now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs. So I'm roughly the size of a '''''ba-a-a-a-arge!''''' ''[Gaston juggles a number of eggs, then swallows them whole. LeFou attempts the trick, and is hit in the face by three eggs]''
:'''All''': Noooooo, oooone shoots like Gaston, makes those beauts like Gaston.
:'''LeFou''': Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston.
:'''Gaston''': I use antlers in all of my decorating!
:''[Gaston takes three shots at a beer barrel, which begins leaking into the mugs of onlookers. He returns stomping to his chair, where we see the fireplace surrounded by the heads of the animals he has killed. The mystery cut of music is here! Cut to ending of &quot;Gaston Reprise&quot;]''
:'''All''': My what a '''''guuuuuy!''''' &lt;big&gt;'''''GASTOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNN!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[The old cronies have picked up the chair and carry Gaston around in it. LeFou tries to flee, but they toss the chair into its normal place, and LeFou is pinned underneath. Maurice bursts in frantically]''
:'''Maurice''': Help! Someone help me!
:'''Tavern Man''': Maurice?
:'''Maurice''': Please! Please, I need your help! He's got her. He's got her locked in the dungeon.
:'''Tom''': Who?
:'''Maurice''': Belle. We must go. Not... not a minute to lose!
:'''Gaston''': Whoa! Slow down, Maurice. Who's got Belle locked in a dungeon?
:'''Maurice''': A beast! A horrible, monstrous beast! ''[Maurice has gone from person to person, pleading his case, until he is thrown at the feet of Gaston. A moment of silence, then the old cronies begin to laugh and mock him]''
:'''Dick''': Is it a big beast?
:'''Maurice''': Huge!
:'''Stanley''': With a long, ugly snout?
:'''Maurice''': Hideously ugly!
:'''Walter''': And sharp, cruel fangs?
:'''Maurice''': Yes, yes. Will you help me?
:'''Gaston''': All right, old man. We'll help you out.
:'''Maurice''': You will? Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!
:''[The old cronies pick up Maurice and help him out by throwing him through the door]''
:'''Tom''': Crazy old Maurice.
:'''Dick''': He's always good for a laugh!
:'''Gaston''': ''[very pensive]'' Crazy old Maurice, hmm? Crazy old Maurice. Hmm? ''[singing]'' LeFou, I'm afraid I've been thinking.
:''[LeFou is still under the chair]''
:'''LeFou''': ''[singing]'' A dangerous pastime--
:'''Gaston''': ''[singing]'' I know, / But that wacky old coot is Belle's father / And his sanity's only so-so...| Now the wheels in my head have been turning / Since I looked at that loony old man / See I promised myself I'd be married to Belle, / And right now I'm evolving a plan! ''[Gaston picks LeFou out from under the chair and holds his head close, and whispers]''
:'''Gaston''': If I... ''[whispers]''
:'''LeFou''': Yes?
:'''Gaston''': Then I... ''[whispers]''
:'''LeFou''': No, would she?
:'''Gaston''': ''[whispering]'' ...GUESS!
:'''LeFou''': Now I get it!
:'''Gaston and LeFou''': '''Let's Go!''' ''[they begin a waltz around the floor as they sings]'' Noooooo, oooooone, plots like Gaston, takes cheap shots like Gaston.
:'''LeFou''': Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston.
:'''Chorus''': SO HIS MARRIAGE WE SOON'LL BE '''''Celebra-a-a-ti-i-ing!''''' / My what a guy, '''''GASTOOOOOOOOOON!!!'''''
:''[Camera zooms out through window to snow covered square, empty except for Maurice]''
:'''Maurice''': ''[to no one in particular]'' Will no one help me? ''[Random; ? At the bedroom of the castle where Belle is still crying. There is a 'clink clink clink' at the door. She gets up and walks over to open the door. Mrs. Potts enters with Chip and their entourage]''
:'''Belle''': Who is it?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Mrs. Potts, dear. I thought you might like a spot of tea.
:'''Belle''': But you...ah...but...I--
:'''Wardrobe''': Oof. Careful!
:'''Belle''': This is impossible--
:'''Wardrobe''': I know it is, but here we are!
:'''Chip''': Told you she was pretty, Mama, didn't I?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': All right, now, Chip, that'll do. Slowly now. Don't spill.
:'''Belle''': Thank you.
:'''Chip''': Want to see me do a trick?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Chip?!
:'''Chip''': Oops, sorry.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': That was a very brave thing you did, my dear.
:'''Wardrobe''': We all think so.
:'''Belle''': But I've lost my father, my dreams, everything.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Cheer up, child. It'll turn out all right in the end. You'll see. Oops! Look at me, jabbering on, when there's a supper to get on the table. Chip!
:'''Chip''': Bye!
:'''Wardrobe''': Well now, what shall we dress you in for dinner? Let's see what I've got in my drawers. Oh-ho! How embarrassing. Here we are. Ah! There you are, you'll look ravishing in this one!
:'''Belle''': That's very kind of you, but I'm not going to dinner.
:'''Wardrobe''': Oh, but you must!
:'''Cogsworth''': Dinner is served.
:'''Beast''': What's taking so long? I told her to come down. '''Why isn't she here yet?!'''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, try to be patient, sir. The girl has lost her father and her freedom all in one day.
:'''Lumière''': Uh, master. Have you thought that, perhaps, this girl could be the one to break the spell?
:'''Beast''': Of course I have! I'm not a fool.
:'''Lumière''': Good! You fall in love with her, she falls in love with you, and - Poof! - the spell is broken! We'll be human again by midnight!
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, it's not that easy, Lumière. These things take time.
:'''Lumière''': But the rose has already begun to wilt.
:'''Beast''': Oh, it's no use. She's so beautiful, and I'm... well, look at me!
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, you must help her to see past all that.
:'''Beast''': I don't know how.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Well, you can start by making yourself more presentable. Straighten up, try to act like a gentleman.
:'''Lumière''': Ah yes, when she comes in, give her a dashing, debonair smile. Come, come. Show me the smile.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': But don't frighten the poor girl.
:'''Lumière''': Impress her with your rapier wit.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': But be gentle.
:'''Lumière''': Shower her with compliments.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': But be sincere.
:'''Lumière''': And above all...
:'''Mrs. Potts and Lumière''': You must control your temper!
:'''Lumière''': There she is!
:'''Cogsworth''': Uh, good evening.
:'''Beast''': Well, where is she?
:'''Cogsworth''': Who? Oh! The girl. Yes, the, ah, girl. Well, actually, she's in the process of, ah, um, circumstances being what they are, ew... She's not coming.
:'''Beast''': &lt;big&gt;'''''WHAT?!?!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Cogsworth''': Oh, dear, Your Grace, Your Eminence! Let's not be hasty!
:'''Beast''': '''I thought I told you to come down to dinner!'''
:'''Belle''': I'm not hungry.
:'''Beast''': '''You come out, or I'll...I'll...''I'LL BREAK DOWN THE DOOR!!!'''''
:'''Lumière''': Master, I could be wrong, but that may not be the best way to win the girl's affections.
:'''Cogsworth''': Please, attempt to be a gentleman.
:'''Beast''': But she is being so ''difficult!''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Gently, gently.
:'''Beast''': Will you come down to dinner?
:'''Belle''': No!
:'''Beast''': Hmm?!
:'''Cogsworth''': Uh-uh-uh! Suave. Genteel.
:'''Beast''': It would give me great pleasure... if you would join me for dinner.
:'''Cogsworth''': Ahem, ahem, we say &quot;please&quot;.
:'''Beast''': Please.
:'''Belle''': No, thank you!
:'''Beast''': ''[angrily; losing patience]'' '''You can't stay in there forever!'''
:'''Belle''': ''[provoked]'' Yes, I can!
:'''Beast''': ''[angrily]'' Fine! Then go ahead and ''[roars]'' '''''STAAAAARVE!!''''' If she doesn't eat with me, then she doesn't eat ''at all.''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, dear. That didn't go very well at all, did it?
:'''Cogsworth''': Lumière, stand watch at the door and inform me at once if there is the slightest change.
:'''Lumière''': You can count on me, mon-Capitan.
:'''Cogsworth''': Well, we might as well go downstairs and start cleaning up.
:'''Beast''': I ask nicely, but she refuses! What-What does she want me to do?! Beg?! Show me the girl.
:'''Wardrobe''': But the master's really not so bad once you get to know him. Why don't you give him a chance?
:'''Belle''': I don't want to get to know him. I don't want to have anything to do with him!
:'''Beast''': I'm just fooling myself. She'll never see me as anything but a monster. It's hopeless.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Fade out/Fade in to exterior of Belle's room. Door creaks open. Belle silently emerges. We see her feet go by as three bright spots shine through a curtain at floor level. Behind it are Lumière and Featherduster.]''
:'''Featherduster''': Oh, no!
:'''Lumière''': Oh, yes!
:'''Featherduster''': Oh, no!
:'''Lumière''': Oh, yes, yes, yes!
:'''Featherduster''': I've been burnt by you before!
:''[Lumière and Featherduster have emerged and Lumière takes her in his arms. Suddenly he looks up and sees Belle walking down the hall. He drops Featherduster.]''
:'''Featherduster''': Oof!
:'''Lumière''': Zut alors! She has emerged!
:''[Inside the kitchen, where we find Cogsworth, Mrs. Potts, Chip and the stove.]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Come on, Chip. Into the cupboard with your brothers and sisters. ''[helping him in]''
:'''Chip''': But I'm not sleepy.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Yes you are.
:'''Chip''': No, I'm not. ''[He falls asleep and Mrs. Potts shuts the cupboard door.]''
:''[A banging of pots and pans comes from the stove.]''
:'''Stove''': I work and I slave all day long, and for what? A culinary masterpiece gone to waste.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, stop your grousing. It's been a long night for all of us.
:'''Cogsworth''': Well, if you ask me, she was just being stubborn. After all, the master did say please.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': But if the master doesn't learn to control that temper, he'll never break the--
:''[Belle enters, and Cogsworth cuts off Mrs. Potts before she can say 'spell.']''
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[interrupting]'' Splendid to see you out and about, mademoiselle.
:''[Lumière comes running in.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': I am Cogsworth, head of the household.
:''[He leans over to kiss her hand, but Lumière butts in front of him.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': This is Lumière.
:'''Lumière''': Enchanté, chérie.
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[trying to talk around Lumière who is still kissing Belle's hand]'' If there's anything...stop that...that we can...please ''[finally shoving him out of the way]''...to make your stay more comfortable. ''[Lumière burns the hand of Cogsworth]'' Ow!!!!
:'''Belle''': I am a little hungry.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': ''[excited, to the other tea pots]'' You are? Hear that? She's hungry. Stoke the fire, break out the silver, wake the China.
:''[The fire on the stove roars to life, and drawers open to reveal silverware standing at attention.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[secretively]'' Remember what the master said.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, pish tosh. I'm not going to let the poor child go hungry.
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[thinking he is giving in to the ultimate demand]'' Oh, all right, fine. Glass of water, crust of bread, and then--
:'''Lumière''': Cogsworth, I am surprised at you. She's not our prisoner. She's our guest. We must make her feel welcome here. ''[to Belle]'' Right this way, mademoiselle.
:'''Cogsworth''': Well keep it down. If the master finds out about this, it will be our necks!
:'''Lumière''': Of course, of course. But what is dinner without a little music?
:''[Lumière has started out the swinging door. He lets it close, and the door hits Cogsworth and sends him across the room to land in a panfilled with (what looks like) pancake batter. He screams his line as he is in flight.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': '''''MUSIC?!'''''
:''[Cut to dining room, where Belle is seated at the end of a long table. Lumière is on the table and a spotlight shines on him.]''
:'''Lumière''': Ma chère, mademoiselle. It is with deepest pride pleasure and greatest pride that I welcome you tonight. And now, we invite you to relax. Let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents...your dinner. ''[singing]'' Be our guest, be our guest / Put our service to the test, tie your napkin 'round your neck, chérie and we provide the rest! ''[The chair has wrapped a napkin around the neck of Belle, who takes it off and places it on her lap. The chair's arms put it's hands on it's 'waist' as if it were mad.]'' Soup du jour, hot hors d'oeuvres / Why we only live to serve / Try the grey stuff, it's delicious / Don't believe me? Ask the dishes! ''[Lumière offers Belle a plate of hors d'oeuvres. She dips her finger in one, and tastes it.]'' They can sing, they can dance / After all, miss, this is France! / And a dinner here is never second best! / Go on unfold your menu, take a glance and then you'll / Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest! ''[A cabinet at the end of the table opens to reveal a large China collection, which rolls out and begins to perform. Lumière hands Belle a menu, which she begins to read.]'' Beef ragout, cheese soufflé, Pie and pudding en flambé! / We'll prepare and serve with flair / A culinary cabaret! ''[plates of food go dancing by, with Cogsworth in the pudding. Lumière sets his torch to it, and it explodes, turning Cogsworth's face black with soot.]'' You're alone and you're scared, But the banquet's all prepared! / No one's gloomy or complaining, / While the flatware's entertaining! ''[The flatware enters a 'Busby Berkley-esque' swimming scene.]'' We tell jokes, I do tricks / With my fellow candlesticks ''[Lumière, standing on a plate, is elevated and begins to juggle his candles. Mugs enter the shot.]''
:'''Mugs''': And it's all in perfect taste / That you can bet!!! ''[The Mugs begin a gymnastics routine, hopping over one another and passing a beverage from one to the next]''
:'''All''': Come on and lift your glass, You've won your own free pass / To be our guest, be our guest, be our guest!
:'''Lumière''': If you're stressed, it's fine dining we suggest!
:'''All''': Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest!
:''[All leave except Cogsworth, who looks scared, then begins to inch away. Lumière enters and holds him there.]''
:'''Lumière''': Life is so unnerving, For a servant who's not serving! / He's not whole without a soul to wait upon
:'''Cogsworth''': Get off!
:'''Lumière''': Ah, those good old days when we were useful
:'''Cogsworth''': Huh? Oh! 
:'''Lumière''': Suddenly, those good old days are gone. 
:''[Lumière sings as if he were reminiscing. Snow begins to fall. Cogsworth looks up and sees the salt and pepper shakers doing their thing.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': Ohh.
:'''Lumière''': 10 years we've been rustin' / Needin' so much more than dustin' / Needin' exercise, a chance to use our skills! 
:'''Cogsworth''': Yaaaaaooo… 
:''[Lumière dusts the salt of the head of Cogsworth, who tries to escape. He tripsand falls into the gelatin mold.]''
:'''Lumière''': Most days just lay around the castle.
:'''Cogsworth''': Ngngngngh!
:'''Lumière''': Flabby fat and lazy / You walked in, and oops-a-daisie! 
:'''Cogsworth''': Whoa!
:''[Lumière jumps on a spoon in the gelatin, which catapults Cogsworth out of the mold. Cut to kitchen, where Mrs. Potts is surrounded by soap bubbles.]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': It's a guest, it's a guest! Sakes alive, well I'll be blessed! Wine's been poured and thank the Lord I've had the napkins freshly pressed! ''[Mrs. Potts continues to dance around the kitchen]'' With dessert, she'll want tea, And my dear, that's fine with me! While the cups do their soft shoein', I'll be bubblin', I'll be brewin'! I'll get warm, pipin' hot Heaven's sake, is that a spot? Clean it up, we want the company impressed! We've got a lot to do-- Is it one lump or two? For you our guest! ''[Mrs. Potts is cleaned off by a napkin. She hops onto the tea cart and rolls into the dining room, where she offers tea to Belle.]''
:'''All''': She's our guest!
:'''Mrs. Potts''': She's our guest!
:'''All''': She's our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! Our command is your request!
:'''Cogsworth''': Let's go, people. Fun's over. Over here. Line up. Aaaaaaah!
:'''All''': It's ten years since we had anybody here and we're obsessed! With your meal, with your ease, / Yes indeed, we aim to please / While the candlelight's still glowin' / Let us help you, we'll keep going!
:''[The [[China]] and candlesticks perform an elaborately choreographed dance sequence, ending in a closeup of Lumière.]''
:'''Lumière and All''': Course, by course / One by one / Til you shout &quot;Enough, I'm done!&quot; / Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest. Tonight you'll prop your feet up, But for let's eat up, Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! Please, '''BE...''' '''''OUR... &lt;big&gt;GUUUUUUUEEEEEEST!!!!!!&lt;/big&gt;'''''
:''[A fantastic ending comes of the song, with silverware flying through the air, plates and Featherdusters dancing, and Cogsworth the focus of attention, until Lumière comes sliding in and sends him flying out of camera range.]''
:'''Belle''': Bravo! That was wonderful!
:'''Cogsworth''': Thank you, thank you, mademoiselle. Yes, good show, wasn't it everyone. ''[Looking at his own face]'' Oh, my goodness, will you look at the time. Now, it's off to bed, off to bed!
:''[Lumière comes up next to Cogsworth.]''
:'''Belle''': Oh, I couldn't possibly go to bed now. It's my first time in an enchanted castle.
:'''Cogsworth''': Enchanted? Who said anything about the castle being enchanted? ''[He tries to cover it up, just as a fork runs past. To Lumière]''
:'''Cogsworth''': It was you, wasn't it!
:'''Belle''': I, um, figured it out for myself.
:''[Cogsworth and Lumière have been fighting. They both look at her, then stop. Cogsworth dusts himself off, and Lumière fixes his wax nose.]''
:'''Belle''': I'd like to look around, if that's all right.
:'''Lumière''': ''[excited]'' Oh! Would you like a tour?
:'''Cogsworth''': Wait a second, wait a second. I'm not sure that's such a good idea. ''[Confidentially, to Lumière]'' We can't let her go poking around in certain places, if you know what I mean.
:'''Belle''': ''[Poking Cogsworth in the belly (like the Pillsbury doughboy)]'' Perhaps you could take me. I'm sure you know everything there is to know about the castle.
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[flattered]'' Well, actually, ah yes, I do!
:''[Fade to Cogsworth, Lumière, and Belle walking down a hall with Sultan. Cogsworth is lecturing.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': As you can see, the pseudo façade was stripped away to reveal a minimalist rococo design. Note the unusual inverted vaulted ceilings. This is yet another example of the neo-classic baroque period, and as I always say, if it's not baroque, don't fix it! Ha ha ha. Now then, where was I? ''[He turns to find the heads of the suits of armor have turned to follow Belle.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': As you were! ''[They all snap back to face forward.]'' Now, if I may draw your attention to the flying buttresses above the--mademoiselle?
:''[Cogsworth turns back to the group and is one girl short. He sees her beginning to climb the grand staircase. He and Lumière run up to her and jump in front of her, blocking her progress upstairs.]''
:'''Belle''': What's up there?
:'''Cogsworth''': Where? Up there? Nothing. Absolutely nothing of interest at all in the West Wing. Dusty, dull, very boring. ''[Lumière has been shaking his head, but Cogsworth nudges him and he nods in agreement.]''
:'''Belle''': Oh, so that's the West Wing.
:'''Lumière''': ''[To Cogsworth]'' Nice going!
:'''Belle''': I wonder what he's hiding up there.
:'''Lumière''': Hiding? The master is hiding nothing!
:'''Belle''': Then it wouldn't be forbidden.
:''[She steps over them, but they dash up and block her again.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': Perhaps mademoiselle would like to see something else. We have exquisite tapestries dating all the way back to...
:'''Belle''': ''[again stepping over them]'' Maybe later.
:'''Lumière''': ''[with Cogsworth, again dashing and blocking]'' The gardens, or the library perhaps?
:'''Belle''': ''[Now, with incredible interest]'' You have a library?
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[Thrilled that he has found something to interest her]'' Oh. yes! Indeed!
:'''Lumière''': With books!
:'''Cogsworth''': Gads of books!
:'''Lumière''': Mountains of books!
:'''Cogsworth''': Forests of books!
:'''Lumière''': Cascades...
:'''Cogsworth''': ...of books!
:'''Lumière''': Swamps of books!
:'''Cogsworth''': More books than you'll ever be able to read in a lifetime! Books on every subject ever studied, by every author who ever set pen to paper...
:''[Lumière and Cogsworth begin marching off, and Belle begins to follow, but her curiosity overtakes her, and she turns back to the West Wing. Her excitement begins to dwindle, though, when she enters the hallway leading to Beast's lair. As she walks down the hall, she stops to look in a mirror that has been shattered into several pieces, each one reflecting her concerned look. She reaches the end of the hall and finds a closed door with gargoyle handles. She takes a deep breath, then reaches out and opens the door. Inside the lair, where Belle begins to explore. She is truly shocked by everything she sees. She wanders around, looking, and knocks over a table, but she catches it before it crashes to the floor. She then turns her head and sees a shredded picture on the wall. We can only see part of a portrait. It is the same portrait that was shredded in the opening. Belle reaches out and lifts the shreds of the picture to reveal the prince. We never see this, however, for then she turns her head and sees the rose under the bell jar. She walks over to it, her eyes transfixes. She reaches out, then lifts off the jar, leaves the rose unprotected. She reaches up, brushes back the strand of hair that has been repeatedly falling on her forehead, then reaches out to touch the rose. As she nears it, a shadow falls over her and Belle gasps in shocked. Beast has been on the balcony, and sees her. He jumps back into the room, then slams the jar back on the rose. He then turns his attention to Belle]''
:'''Beast''': ''[growing angrily-ish]'' Why did you come here?
:'''Belle''': ''[backs away, scared]'' I'm-I'm sorry.
:'''Beast''': I warned you never to come here!
:'''Belle''': I didn't mean any harm.
:'''Beast''': ''[angrier]'' Do you realize what you could have done?!
:''[Beast begins to thrash at the furniture]''
:'''Belle''': ''[pleaders, but still scared]'' Please, stop!
:'''Beast''': ''[screaming]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''GET OUT!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Belle''': No!
:'''Beast''': ''[screaming]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''GEEET, OOOOOOUUUTT!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Belle turns and flees the room. Beast calms down, then falls into despair, finally realizes that he may have destroyed his chances with Belle. She reaches the stairway and grabs her cloak. She rushes down the stairs, wrapping the cloak around her and bursting past a confused Lumière and Cogsworth]''
:'''Lumière''': Where are you going?
:'''Belle''': Promise or no promise, I can't stay here another minute!
:'''Cogsworth''': Oh, no, wait, please! Please wait!
:''[Lumière tries to respond, but Belle slams the door behind her. He and Cogsworth both bow their heads in sadness. When Belle outside in the forest on Philippe. She begins to ride through the forest, but Philippe comes to a stop. She looks up and sees the wolves. She gasps, then pulls the reins and begins to flee. She runs from side to side, making the wolves hit the trees (a la Speederbike chase in '''[[w:Return of the Jedi|Return of the Jedi]]'''). Philippe runs out on a frozen pond, but his and Belle's weight collapse the ice. The wolves chase her into the water. Some begin to drown, but Philippe is able to get out of the water before anything serious happens. He runs into a clears, but becomes surrounded by wolves. He bucks, throws Belle off and wrapped the reins around a tree branch. The wolves begin their attack on Philippe, but Belle comes to his rescue and beats them away with a stick. One wolf grabs the stick in its mouth and breaks half of it off, leaves Belle defenseless. Another leaps at her, grabs the corner of her cloak and dragging her to the ground]''
:'''Belle''': &lt;big&gt;'''''NO!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt; ''[She looks up and sees a wolf about to jump on top of her. It leaps and is caught in mid-air by Beast. He throws the wolf away, then stands behind them and Belle. They lunge at each other. One rips a hole in Beast's shoulder, and the others focus their attack on that spot. Finally, Beast throws a wolf against a tree, knocks it out. The others turn and run in fear. Beast turns back to Belle, looks at her despairingly, then collapses. Belle, grateful to be alive, turns back to Philippe and begins to get on, but her conscience takes over, and she walks over to the fallen Beast. Fade to Belle and Philippe walking back to the castle, with Beast on the horse's back. Fade to inside the den, with Belle pouring hot water out of Mrs. Potts. She soaks a rag in the water, then turns to Beast, who is licking his wounds, dampening rag]'' Here, now. ''[sees the Beast licking the wound on his arm]'' Oh, don't do that. ''[the Beast backs away with a growl as the servants start to back away in fear]'' Just hold still. ''[places the rag on the Beast's wound; the Beast mighty roars in pain and the servants takes cover]''
:'''Beast''': &lt;big&gt;'''''THAT HURTS!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Belle''': If you'd hold still, it wouldn't hurt as much!
:'''Beast''': Well, if you hadn't have run away, this wouldn't have happened.
:'''Belle''': If you hadn't frightened me, I wouldn't have run away.
:'''Beast''': Well, ''you'' shouldn't have been in The West Wing!
:'''Belle''': Well, ''you'' should learn to control your temper. Now, hold still. This might sting a little.
:'''Beast''': Hmm? Mmm!
:'''Belle''': By the way, thank you, for saving my life.
:'''Beast''': You're welcome.
:''[The camera zooms out and we see the objects looking on with interest. Fade to Gaston's tavern, which is empty except for Gaston, LeFou and Monsieur D'Arque, who are all sitting at a table]''
:'''Monsieur D'Arque''': I don't usually leave the asylum in the middle of the night, but they said you'd make it worth my while. ''[Gaston pulls out a sack of gold and tosses it in front of him. He takes out a piece, scrapes it on his chin and continues]'' Aah, I'm listening.
:'''Gaston''': It's like this. I've got my heart set on marrying Belle, but she needs a little persuasion.
:'''LeFou''': ''[butting in]'' Turned him down flat!
:''[Gaston slams a beer mug on his head]''
:'''Gaston''': Everyone knows her father's a lunatic. He was in here tonight raving about a beast in a castle...
:'''Monsieur D'Arque''': Maurice is harmless.
:'''Gaston''': The point is, Belle would do anything to keep him from being locked up.
:'''LeFou''': Yeah, even marry him!
:''[Gaston gives him another threatening look, and he ducks back under the mug]''
:'''Monsieur D'Arque''': So you want me to throw her father in the asylum unless she agrees to marry you? ''[They both nod in agreement]'' Oh, that is despicable. I love it!
:''[Inside Belle's cottage, Maurice is packing to leave]''
:'''Maurice''': If no one will help me, then I'll go back alone. I don't care what it takes. I'll find that castle and somehow I'll get her out of there.
:''[Maurice leaves to go find Belle, Gaston and LeFou enter her house to look for him and Belle.]''
:'''Gaston''': Belle? Maurice?
:'''LeFou''': Oh, well. I guess it's not go to work, after all.
:'''Gaston''': ''[grabs LeFou by his collar and carries him out]'' They have to come back sometime. And when they do, we'll be ready for them. LeFou, ''[throws him into the pile of snow nearby]'' don't move from that spot, until Belle and her father come home. ''[leaves on a horse wagon]''
:'''LeFou''': But... But I... ''[hits a wood]'' Ah, nuts! ''[a snow falls on him]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Outside the castle. Belle is playing in the snow with Phillipe and Sultan. Beast, Cogsworth and Lumière watch from the balcony.]''
:'''Beast''': I've never felt this way about anyone. ''[Looks excited]'' I want to do something for her. ''[Looks discouraged.]'' But what?
:'''Cogsworth''': Well, there's the usual things--flowers, chocolates, promises you don't intend to keep...
:'''Lumière''': Ahh, no no. It has to be something very special. Something that sparks her inter--wait a minute.
:''[Cut to interior hallway leading to library. Beast and Belle are alone.]''
:'''Beast''': Belle, there's something I want to show you. ''[Begins to open the door, then stops.]'' But first, you have to close your eyes.
:''[She looks at him questioningly.]''
:'''Beast''': It's a surprise.
:''[Belle closes her eyes, and Beast waves his hand in front of her. Then he opens the door. He leads her in.]''
:'''Belle''': ''[Just as she enters the room]'' Can I open them?
:'''Beast''': No, no. Not yet. Wait here.
:''[Beast walks away to draw back the curtains. He does, and brilliant sunlight spills into the room. Belle flinches reflexively as the light hits her face.]''
:'''Belle''': Now can I open them?
:'''Beast''': All right. Now.
:''[Belle opens her eyes and the camera pulls back to reveal the gigantic library filled with books.]''
:'''Belle''': I can't believe it. I've never seen so many books in all my life!
:'''Beast''': You--you like it?
:'''Belle''': It's wonderful.
:'''Beast''': Then it's yours.
:'''Belle''': Oh, thank you so much.
:''[Cut to Belle and Beast in background, with Objects including Chip in foreground watching them.]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, would you look at that?
:'''Lumière''': Ha ha! I knew it would work.
:'''Chip''': What? What works?
:'''Cogsworth''': It's very encouraging.
:'''Featherduster''': Isn't this exciting!
:'''Chip''': I didn't see anything.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Come along, Chip. There's chores to be done in the kitchen.
:'''Chip''': But what are they talking about? What's going on?
:''[Objects walk away. Fade to breakfast table with Belle at one end and Beast at the other, with Mrs. Potts between them. Belle is served breakfast, and as she begins to eat, she looks at Beast, gobbling up his food with no table manners whatsoever. Chip laughs, but Mrs. Potts shoots him an admonishing look. Belle turns away and tries to ignore it, but Chip comes to the rescue. He nudges the spoon with his nose, and Beast reaches out for it (very 3-D-ishly). Belle looks at him in wonder as he tries to eat with the spoon, but he has little success. Finally, Belle puts down her spoon and lifts her bowl as if in a toast. Beast looks at the compromise and does the same. They both begin to sip their breakfast out of their bowls. Fade to courtyard where Belle and Beast are feeding the birds.]''
:'''Belle''': There's something sweet / And almost kind / But he was mean / And he was coarse and unrefined. But now he's dear / And so unsure, / I wonder why I didn't see it there before. ''[Belle is trying to attract some birds to Beast, who shoves a handful of seed at them. Finally, she takes a handful and gently spreads it out, creating a trail. One lands in his hands, and he looks up thrilled.]''
:'''Beast''': She glanced this way / I thought I saw / And when we touched / She didn't shudder at my paw / No, it can't be / I'll just ignore / But then she's never looked at me that way before. ''[Belle has ducked around a tree, leaving Beast with the birds. She begins to look doubtful again, but turns her head around the tree and laughs. Beast is covered with birds.]''
:'''Belle''': New, and a bit alarming / Who'd have ever thought that this could be? / True, that he's no Prince Charming / But there's something in him that I simply didn't see.
:''[Belle throws a snowball at Beast, who had looked at her proudly after the birds flew away. He begins to gather a large pile of snow. We cut to the Objects, looking out of a window at the two. In the background, Belle throws another snowball at Beast, who drops his huge pile of snow on his head. He chases her around a tree, but she ducks around the other side and sneaks up on him from behind.]''
:'''Lumière''': Well, who'd have thought?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Well, bless my soul.
:'''Cogsworth''': And who'd have known?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Well, who indeed?
:'''Lumière''': And who'd have guessed they'd come together on their own?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': It's so peculiar.
:'''All''': We'll wait and see / A few days more / There may be something there that wasn't there before.
:''[Fade to den where Belle sits in front of a roaring fire and reads to Beast. Objects including Chip watch from doorway]''
:'''Cogsworth''': Yes, perhaps there's something there that wasn't there before.
:'''Chip''': What?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': There may be something there that wasn't there before.
:'''Chip''': What's there, mama?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': I'll tell you when you're older.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Inside the Beast's lair. He is in the tub getting washed up for the big night with Belle. Lumière is there with him.]''
:'''Lumière''': Tonight is the night!
:'''Beast''': ''[hesitantly]'' I'm not sure I can do this.
:'''Lumière''': You don't have time to be timid. You must be bold, daring.
:'''Beast''': Bold. Daring. ''[Beast has emerged from the tub and shakes himself dry.]''
:'''Lumière''': There will be music. Romantic candlelight, provided myself, and when the time is right, you confess your love.
:'''Beast''': ''[Inspired]'' Yes, I -- I con--No, I can't.
:'''Lumière''': You care for the girl, don't you?
:'''Beast''': More than anything.
:'''Lumière''': Well then you must tell her. ''[Coatrack has been cutting Beast's hair. It finishes and steps back.]'' Voila. You look so...so... ''[Cut to shot of Beast in pig-tails and bows.]''
:'''Beast''': Stupid.
:'''Lumière''': Not quite the word I was looking for. Perhaps a little more off the top.
:''[Coatrack begins to cut and chop again. Cogsworth enters.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': Ahem ahem ahem. Your lady awaits.
:''[Cut to grand staircase, where Belle descends from the West Wing side in a glittering gold ball gown. She reaches the landing and looks up at Beast, who is standing at the top of the stairs in his dress clothes. He is nudged on by Lumière from behind the curtain, and he descends and meets Belle at the landing. Arm in arm, they descend the last section of stairs and continue on their way to dinner, stopped momentarily by Sultan. Mrs. Potts sings from her cart with Chip on board.]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Tale as old as time / True as it can be / Barely even friends / Then somebody bends / Unexpectedly / Just a little change / Small to say the least / Both a little scared / Neither one prepared / Beauty and the Beast ''[Belle and Beast have moved into the ballroom, where they move through a computer perfect dance sequence. Beast occasionally looks over at Lumière and Cogsworth for their approval. Mrs. Potts and Chip are in the ballroom on their cart.]'' Ever just the same / Ever a surprise / Ever as before, ever just as sure / As the sun will rise / Tale as old as time / Tune as old as song / Bittersweet and strange, / Finding you can change, learning you were wrong / Certain as the sun / Rising in the east / Tale as old as time, / Song as old as rhyme, beauty and the Beast. / Tale as old as time, / Song as old as rhyme, beauty and the Beast. ''[To Chip]'' Off to the cupboard with you now, Chip. It's past your bedtime. Good night, love. ''[Chip slides off the end of the cart, and hops out of the room, but comes back for one last look. Belle and Beast have adjourned to the balcony under a starry night.]''
:'''Beast''': Belle? Are you happy here with me?
:'''Belle''': ''[Hesitantly]'' Yes. ''[She looks off into the distance]''
:'''Beast''': What is it?
:'''Belle''': ''[Looks at him desperately]'' If only I could see my father again, just for a moment. I miss him so much.
:'''Beast''': ''[Looks disappointed for a moment, then excited.]'' There is a way. ''[The pair adjourn to Beast's lair, where Beast hands Belle the magic mirror.]'' This mirror will show you anything, anything you wish to see.
:'''Belle''': ''[Hesitantly]'' I'd like to see my father, please. ''[The magic mirror shines into life, and Belle turns her head away as it flashes. Then it reveals Maurice fallen in the woods, coughing and lost. Belle is shocked. Beast looks at her with concern.]'' Papa. Oh, no. He's sick, he may be dying. And he's all alone. ''[Beast turns, then looks at the rose, deep in thought.]''
:'''Beast''': Then...then you must go to him.
:'''Belle''': What did you say?
:'''Beast''': I release you. You're no longer my prisoner.
:'''Belle''': You mean...I'm free?
:'''Beast''': Yes.
:'''Belle''': Oh, thank you. Hold on, Papa. I’m on my way.
:'''Beast''': Take it with you so you'll always have a way to look back and remember me.
:'''Belle''': Thank you for understanding how much he needs me. ''[Belle turns to leave and Beast looks down in depression. She touches her hand to his cheek and rushes out. We see Belle's skirt fly past Cogsworth, who has entered the room.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': Well, your highness I have to say that everything it's going great I knew that she was capable.
:'''Beast''': I let her go.
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[chuckles]'' Yes, yes. Splen-- ''[realizes what the Beast just said]'' You what? How could you do that?
:'''Beast''': I had to.
:'''Cogsworth''': Yes, but why?
:'''Beast''': Because... I love her.
:''[Cut to Cogsworth telling the rest of the Objects about Beast's decision.]''
:'''All''': ''[except Cogsworth]'' He did '''''WHAT?!'''''
:'''Cogsworth''': Yes, I'm afraid it's true.
:'''Chip:''' She's going away?
:'''Lumière''': But he was so close.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': After all this time, he's finally learned to love.
:'''Lumière''': That's it, then. That should break the spell.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': But it's not enough. She has to love him in return.
:'''Cogsworth''': And now it's too late.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Cut to Beast watching Belle leave from above. He roars in sorrow and anger. His roar turns into the sound of the wind. Belle is out in the snow.]''
:'''Belle''': Papa? Papa? ''[gasps]''
:''[Finally, she finds him face down in a snowbank. They return home, where LeFou is still waiting, disguised as a snowman.]''
:'''LeFou''': Oh, they're back.
:''[Cut to black. POV of Maurice as his eyes open. He sees Belle.]''
:'''Maurice''': Belle?
:'''Belle''': It's all right, Papa. I'm home.
:'''Maurice''': I thought I'd never see you again.
:'''Belle''': I missed you so much.
:'''Maurice''': But the Beast. How did you escape?
:'''Belle''': I didn't escape, Papa. He let me go.
:'''Maurice''': That horrible Beast?
:'''Belle''': But he's different, now. He's changed somehow.
:''[There is a sound coming from Belle's pack. The flap opens and the magic mirror falls out with Chip rolling to a stop on it.]''
:'''Chip''': Hi!
:'''Belle''': Oh, a stowaway.
:'''Maurice''': Why, hello there, little fella. Didn't think I'd ever see you again. ''[Chip turns to Belle with a look of question on his face.]''
:'''Chip''': Belle, why'd you go away? Don't you like us anymore?
:'''Belle''': Oh, Chip. Of course I do. It's just that--
:''[There is a knocking at the door. Belle opens it and Monsieur D'Arque stands on the porch.]''
:'''Belle''': May I help you?
:'''Monsieur D'Arque''': I've come to collect your father.
:'''Belle''': My father?
:'''Monsieur D'Arque''': Don't worry, mademoiselle. We'll take good care of him.
:'''Belle''': My father's not crazy.
:'''LeFou''': He was raving like a lunatic. We all heard him, didn't we!
:'''Bystanders''': Yes!
:'''Belle''': No, I won't let you.
:'''Maurice''': Belle?
:'''LeFou''': Maurice. Tell us again, old man, just how big was the Beast?
:'''Maurice''': Well, he was... that is... enormous. I'd say at least eight, no more like ten feet.
:'''LeFou''': Well, you don't get much crazier than that.
:'''Maurice''': It's true, I tell you!
:'''LeFou''': Get him out of here!
:'''Maurice''': Let go of me!
:'''Belle''': No, you can't do this!
:'''Gaston''': Poor Belle. It's a shame about your father.
:'''Belle''': You know he's not crazy, Gaston.
:'''Gaston''': Hmm. I think I might be able to clear up this little misunderstanding, if...
:'''Belle''': If what?
:'''Gaston''': If you marry me.
:'''Belle''': What?
:'''Gaston''': One little word, Belle. That's all it takes.
:'''Belle''': Never!
:'''Gaston''': Have it your way.
:'''Maurice''': Belle? Let go of me!
:'''Belle''': My father's not crazy and I can prove it! Show me the Beast!
:'''Woman #1''': Is it dangerous?
:'''Belle''': Oh, no, no. He'd never hurt anyone. Please, I know he looks vicious, but he's really kind and gentle. He's my friend.
:'''Gaston''': If I didn't know better, I'd think you had feelings for this monster.
:'''Belle''': He's no monster, Gaston. You are!
:'''Gaston''': She's as crazy as the old man! The Beast will make off with your children! He'll come after them in the night!
:'''Belle''': No!
:'''Gaston''': We're not safe until his head is mounted on my wall! I say we kill the Beast!
:''[Mob cheers him and repeats the words 'kill him'.]''
:'''Man #1''': We're not safe until he's dead.
:'''Man #2''': He'll come stalkin' us at night!
:'''Woman #1''': Set to sacrifice our children to his monstrous appetite!
:'''Man #3''': He'll wreak havoc on our village / If we let him wander free.
:'''Gaston''': So, it's time, to take some action, boys, it's tiiime, tooo, folloooww, meeeeee!!!!!! ''[Gaston throws a torch into a haystack, creating an instant bonfire. He begins to prance around it, warning of the dangers of the horrible Beast.]'' Through the mist, through the woods / Through the darkness and the shadows / It's a nightmare but it's one exciting ride. / Say a prayer, then we're there / At the drawbridge of a castle, And there's something truly terrible inside. ''[Gaston chases LeFou around, mimicking a monster.]'' It's a Beast, He's got fangs, razor sharp ones / Massive paws, Killer claws for the feast ''[Magic mirror shows the face of Beast to LeFou, which Gaston exaggerates about.]'' Hear him roar, see him foam, But we're not comin' home, Until he's dead / Good and dead, kill the Beast!
:'''Belle''': ''[Interjecting]'' No, I won't let you do this.
:'''Gaston''': If you're not with us, you're against us. Bring the old man. ''[Gaston is snatched the mirror and clutches the pants]''
:'''Maurice''': Get your hands off me! ''[Gaston throws them into the basement and bolts the door.]''
:'''Gaston''': We can't have them runnin' off to warn the creature!
:'''Belle''': &lt;big&gt;'''''LET US OUT!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Gaston''': ''[To the crowd]'' We'll rid the village of this Beast. '''''Who's with me?''''' 
:''[A chorus of &quot;I am&quot;s comes from the crowd]''
:'''Mob''': Light your torch, mount your horse!
:'''Gaston''': Screw your courage to the sticking place
:'''Mob''': We're countin' on Gaston to lead the way! Through a mist, to a wood, Where within a haunted castle, Something's lurking that you don't see every day! ''[Gaston leads the Mob through the town and out into the forest, where they start chopping trees in preparation for their assault on the castle.]'' It's a Beast, One as tall as a mountain! We won't rest / Until he's good and deceased! Sally forth, tally ho, Grab your sword, grab your bow / Praise the Lord and here we go!
:'''Gaston''': &lt;big&gt;'''''WE'LL LAY SIEGE TO HIS CASTLE AND BRING BACK HIS HEAD!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Cut to interior of basement, where Belle is prying at the window with a stick.]''
:'''Belle''': I have to warn the Beast. This is all my fault. Oh, Papa. What are we going to do?
:'''Maurice''': ''[Comforting her]'' Now, now. We'll think of something. ''[We see Chip looking in through the window. He turns around, thinking, and then he sees Maurice's contraption with the axe on the end of it.]''
:'''Mob''': We don't like, what we don't / Understand, it frankly scares us / And this monster is mysterious at least! Bring your guns, bring your knives, Save your children and your wives, We'll save our village and our lives, We'll kill the Beast!
:'''Cogsworth''': I knew it, I knew it was foolish to get our hopes up.
:'''Lumière''': Maybe it would have been better if she had never come at all. ''[Sultan comes in barking. They rush over to the window expecting the return of Belle.]'' Could it be?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Is it she?
:'''Lumière''': ''[Realizing the Mob is not Belle]'' Sacre bleu, invaders!
:'''Cogsworth''': Encroachers!
:'''Mrs. Potts''': ''[Seeing Gaston]'' And they have the mirror!
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[Issuing orders]'' Warn the master. If it's a fight they want, we'll be ready for them. ''[Turns around from window]'' Who's with me? Aahh!
:''[The door is slammed as the rest of the Objects leave Cogsworth behind.]''
:'''Gaston''': Take whatever booty you can find, but remember, the Beast is mine!
:''[Cut to stairway, where Objects are marching down to do battle with the Mob.]''
:'''Objects''': Hearts ablaze, banners high! We go marching into battle, Unafraid, although the danger just increased!
:'''Mob''': Raise the flag, sing the song / Here we come, we're fifty strong, and 50 Frenchmen can't be wro-o-o-ong, Let's kill the Beast!
:''[Cut to interior of Beast's lair, where Mrs. Potts is briefing him.]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Pardon me, master.
:'''Beast''': Leave me in peace.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': But sir, the castle is under attack!
:'''Mob''': Kill the Beast, kill the Beast!
:''[The Objects have tried to block off the door, but it is being bashed in by the Mob.]''
:'''Lumière''': This isn't working!
:'''Featherduster''': Oh, Lumière! We must do something!
:'''Lumière''': Wait! I know!
:'''Mob''': Kill the Beast, kill the Beast!
:''[Cut to Beast's lair]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': What shall we do, master?
:'''Beast''': ''[Still very sad]'' It doesn't matter now. Just let them come.
:'''Mob''': Kill the Beast, kill the Beast, kill the Beast!! ''[The Mob succeeds in breaking in, and finds a grand entrance filled with assorted pieces of furniture, teacups, candlesticks, Featherdusters and clocks. They tiptoe in, and LeFou unknowingly picks up Lumière.]''
:'''Lumière''': '''''NOW!!!''''' ''[All the Objects spring into life, attacking their human enemies. Cut back to Belle's home, where Chip has readied the invention with purple smoke.]''
:'''Chip''': Yes! Here we go! 
:''[Chip has a rise in Maurice's invention with a violin sounds louder. Maurice looks out from the window and sees the advancing axe.]''
:'''Maurice''': What the devil? Belle, look out!
:''[The invention crashes into the door, and a red cloud of smoke poofs out of the basement. Belle and Maurice emerge from the wreckage to find Chip swinging on a loose spring.]''
:'''Chip''': You guys gotta try this thing.
:''[Cut back to the castle where the attack continues.]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Up here, you scurvy scum! Now! ''[She and all the cups pour boiling tea on the guy's head.]''
:''[Cut back to the castle where the attack continues. Meanwhile, Gaston has broken off from the Mob, and is searching out Beast. Belle, Maurice, Philippe and Chip are making their way to the castle. Finally, the invaders (a la Invaders storm in '''[[w:Willow (1988 film)|Willow]]''').]''
:'''Stove''': Roaaaar!
:'''Tom, Stanley and LeFou''': '''AAAAAAAAH!!'''
:'''LeFou''': Move, move, move, move!
:''[They are chased out and the Objects celebrate their victory.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': And stay out! ''[Lumière pulls over Cogsworth and kisses him once on each cheek. Cogsworth shakes it off.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Cut to Gaston, who finds Beast's lair. He raises his crossbow and takes aim. Beast looks up at him, then looks back down in sadness again. Gaston releases the arrow and it strikes Beast in the shoulder. He screams in pain and stands. Gaston rushes him and they fly out the window onto the balcony, where it has begun to rain.]''
:'''Gaston''': Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! ''[Gaston corners Beast on the edge of the roof. Beast simply sits there in despair.]'' Get up! Get up! What's the matter, Beast? Too kind and gentle to fight back?
:''[Beast looks down ignoring him. Gaston walks into the foreground and breaks off a piece of the roof. He is about to smash it on Beast's head when Belle's voice drifts up. She is on the bridge and is yelling to Gaston, telling him to stop.]''
:'''Belle''': No!
:'''Beast''': Belle.
:'''Belle''': No, Gaston, don't! Let's go, Philippe.
:'''Gaston''': ''[to Beast]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''COME ON, OUT AND FIGHT?!'''''&lt;/big&gt; We're you in love with her, Beast? '''''DID YOU HONESTLY THINK SHE'D WANT YOU WHEN SHE HAD SOMEONE LIKE ME?!'''''
:''[The Beast has been provoked enough. He emerges and they fight again]''
:'''Gaston''': It's over, Beast! '''''BELLE IS MINE!!'''''
:''[The Beast and Gaston are fighting on top of the castle; the Beast strikes at him, grabs him and holds him over the edge]''
:'''Gaston''': ''[last words]'' Let me go, let me go! Please... don't hurt me! I'll do anything! '''''ANYTHING!!!!'''''
:''[The Beast glares with fury, then his anger slowly melts as he realizes that Gaston's what he could've become. He pulls Gaston back in and close to his face]''
:'''Beast''': ''[in a calm, but tranquil fury manner]'' Get out. ''[shoves Gaston to the ground]''
:'''Belle''': ''[comes out on the balcony]'' Beast!
:'''Beast''': Belle. ''[begins to climb the tower until he reaches the balcony. He hangs over the side]'' Belle? ''[they reached their hands as they reunite]'' You came back.
:''[The Beast and Belle stare passionately at each other, but the moment is interrupted when Gaston sneaks up and stubs the Beast in the back with a knife. The Beast roars in pain and Gaston pulls the knife out and swings back for another shot. The Beast starts to fall, knocks over Gaston off his balances. Belle reaches forward and pulls the Beast back, while Gaston falls off into the castle moats to his deaths with a scream. Belle helps the injured Beast up onto the balcony, where he lies down on the floor. The servants come rushing out but stay out of sight. The Beast lays dying with Belle at his side; meanwhile, the rose is down to its last petal, weakly]'' 
:'''Beast''': You... You came back.
:'''Belle''': Of course, I came back. I couldn't let them.... ''[hugs the Beast]'' Oh, this is all my fault. If only I'd gotten here sooner.
:'''Beast''': Maybe it's better...it's better this way.
:'''Belle''': Don't talk like that. You'll be all right. We're together now. Everything's going to be fine. You'll see.
:'''Beast''': ''[last words; reaches up and touches Belle's cheek]'' At least...I got to see you...1 last time. ''[his paw falls and his eyes close as he dies]''
:'''Belle''': ''[gasps]'' No. No. Please. Please. Please don't leave me. ''[sobs]'' I love you. ''[The last petal falls away, leaving Cogsworth, Lumière, and Mrs. Potts distraught; suddenly, a magical shower falls around the Beast and Belle, and the Beast rises into the air, turning into a human prince Adam, whose name was Prince Adam; then, he lands on the ground and when he gets up, he turns toward Belle]''
:'''Prince Adam''': Belle... it's me.
:'''Belle''': ''[looks into his eyes and recognizes him from the portrait]'' It ''is'' you!
:''[They kiss, a fireworks display explodes around them. The gloom surrounding, the castle disappears, revealing a blue sky]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Last lines; The castle is transformed, with the gargoyles changing into cherubs. Finally, we return to the balcony, where the servants hop out to meet Prince Adam and Belle. One by one, they are transformed back to their original human conditions]''
:'''Prince Adam''': Lumiere! Cogsworth! Oh, Mrs. Potts! Look at us! ''[Chip comes riding in on Footstool]''
:'''Chip''': Mama! Mama! ''[The pair transforms back into a boy and dog]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': ''[Picking up her boy]'' Oh, my goodness!
:'''Lumière''': It is a miracle! 
:'''Belle''': How wonderful! ''[Prince Adam picks up Belle and swings her around. The ruffles of her skirt wipe to the ballroom, where all are gathered to celebrate, Prince Adam and Belle dance around the room as the rest at the characters]''
:'''Lumière''': Ah, l'amour. ''[Lumière says this, and a maid, obviously the former Featherduster walks by, brushing him on the chin; chuckles, starts to chase after her, but Cogsworth stops him]''
:'''Cogsworth''': Well, Lumiere, old friend. Shall we let bygones be bygones?
:'''Lumière''': Of course, mon ami. I told you she would break the spell.
:'''Cogsworth''': I beg your pardon, old friend, but I believe I told you.
:'''Lumière''': No, you didn't. I told you.
:'''Cogsworth''': You most certainly did not, you pompous paraffin-headed pea-brain!
:'''Lumière''': En garde, you overgrown pocket watch! ''[Lumière takes off his glove and slaps Cogsworth across the face with it. They begin to fight. Cut to Belle and Prince Adam who continue to dance around the floor. The camera stops on Mrs. Potts, Chip and Maurice, who is beginning to crying]''
:'''Chip''': Are they going to live happily ever after, Mama?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Of course, my dear. Of course.
:'''Chip''': ''[tiny pauses]'' Do I still have to sleep in the cupboard? ''[Maurice laughs and Mrs. Potts hugs her child and laughs. Cut to a camera looking over the entire ballroom with all in the shot. It slowly zooms out with Belle and Prince Adam dancing around the room, and fades into the final stained glass window, this one with Belle and Prince Adam in the center, surrounded by the rest of the characters]''
:'''Chorus''': Certain as the sun / Rising in the east / Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme / Beauty and the beast!| Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme / Beauty and the beast!

===Special Edition Release===
:'''Cogsworth''': Right then! You all know why we're here. We have exactly 12 hours, 36 minutes, and 15 seconds to create the most magical, spontaneous, romantic atmosphere known to man or beast. ''[Chuckles weakly]'' &quot;Or beast..&quot; Right. Need I remind you that if the last petal falls from this rose, the spell will never be broken! Very well. You all know your assignments. Half of you to the West Wing, half of you to the East Wing, the rest of you, come with me.
:'''Lumière''': Hoho, lighten up Cogsworth, and let nature take its course.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': It's obvious there's a spark between them.
:'''Cogsworth''': Yes yes yes... But there's no harm in fanning the flames. You know, a little. Besides, they must fall in love tonight if we ever expect to be human again.
:'''Lumière''': Aaah...human again...
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Human again...
:'''Lumière''': Yes, think what that means... ''[singing]'' I'll be cooking again, be good-looking again, With a mademoiselle on each arm / When I'm human again, only human again / Poised and polish and gleaming with charm / I'll be courting again, chic and sporting again
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Which should cause several husbands alarm
:'''Lumière''': ''(Ha, ha!)'' I'll hop down off this shelf, and tout de suite be myself,
:'''Lumière, Mrs. Potts and Cogsworth''': I can't wait to be human again
:'''Essentials''': When we're human again, only human again / When we're knickknacks and whatnots no more / When we're human again, good and human again
:'''Wardrobe''': O, chérie, won't it all be top drawer? I'll wear lipstick and rouge / And I won't be so huge / Why, I'll easily fit through that door / I'll exude savoir faire / I'll wear gowns, I'll have hair / It's my prayer to be human again
:'''Mrs. Potts and Cogsworth''': When we're human again, only human again / When the world once more starts making sense
:'''Cogsworth''': I'll unwind, for a change
:'''Lumière''': Really? That'd be strange
:'''Cogsworth''': Can I help it if I'm t-t-tense? In a shack by the sea, I'll sit back, sipping tea Let my early retirement commence Far from fools made of wax, I'll get down to brass tacks and real-A-A-A-x!
:'''Chorus''': When I'm human again! So sweep the dust from the floor / Let's let some light in the room / I can feel, I can tell someone might break the spell any day now / Shine up the brass on the door / Alert the dust pail and broom / If it all goes as planned our time may be at hand any day now
:'''Fifi and the maids''': Open the shutters and let in some air
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Put these here and put those over there
:'''Chorus''': Sweep up the years, the sadness and tears and throw them away / We'll be human again, only human again / When the girl finally sets us all free / Cheeks a-blooming again, we're assuming again / We'll resume our long-lost joie de vivre / We'll be playing again, holidaying again / And we're praying it's ASAP / Little push, little shove / They could both fall in love / And we'll finally be human again...
:''[Transition to the library]''
:'''Belle''': &quot;...For there never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo.&quot;
:'''Beast''': Could you read it again?
:'''Belle''': Well, here. Why don't you read it to me?
:'''Beast''': Uhhh...Alright. Hmm...I-I can't.
:'''Belle''': You mean you never learned?
:'''Beast''': I learned, a little. It's just been so long.
:'''Belle''': Well here, I'll help you. Let's start...here.
:'''Beast''': Here, twoe...?
:'''Belle''': Two.
:'''Beast''': Two, I knew that. Two households, both alike in dignity...
:''[sung]''
:'''Chorus''': We'll be dancing again, we'll be twirling again / We'll whirling around with such ease / When we're human again, only human again / We'll go waltzing those old one-two-threes / We'll be floating again, we'll be gliding again /Stepping, striding, as fine as you please / Like a real human does, I'll be all that I was / On that glorious morn, when we're finally re-born / And we're all of us human again!

==CELINE DION &amp; PEABO BRYSON lyrics (Beauty and the Beast)==
:'''Celine Dion''': Ooh, ooh / Tale as old as time / True as it can be / Barely even friends / Then somebody bends / Unexpectedly
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Just a little change / Small, to say the least / Both a little scared / Neither one prepared
:'''Celine Dion &amp; Peabo Bryson''': Beauty and the beast / Ever just the same / Ever a surprise / Ever as before / Ever just as sure / As the sun will rise
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Whoa, whoa-oh, whoa, oh
:'''Celine Dion''': Ohh, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh
:'''Celine Dion &amp; Peabo Bryson''': Ever just the same
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Yeah / Ever a surprise
:'''Celine Dion &amp; Peabo Bryson''': Ever as before
:'''Celine Dion''': Ever just as sure
:'''Celine Dion &amp; Peabo Bryson''': As the sun will rise
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Oh, oh, oh
:'''Celine Dion''': Tale as old as time
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Ooh-ooh, ohh-ooh
:'''Celine Dion''': Tune as old as song
:'''Celine Dion &amp; Peabo Bryson''': Bittersweet and strange / Finding you can change / Learning you were wrong
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Certain as the sun
:'''Celine Dion''': Certain as the sun
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Rising in the east
:'''Celine Dion''': Tale as old as time
:'''Celine Dion &amp; Peabo Bryson''': Song as old as rhyme / Beauty and the beast
:'''Celine Dion''': Tale as old as time
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Song as old as rhyme
:'''Celine Dion &amp; Peabo Bryson''': Beauty and the beast
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Oh Oh, whoa-oh
:'''Celine Dion''': Ooh / Beauty and the beast

== About ''Beauty and the Beast (1991 film)'' ==
* Well, originally when we were planning the big elaborate dance sequence that would include a moving camera craning up to the ceiling on the characters that would really have more of a live action feel to them—there was always this nagging doubt in our minds that it wasn't going to work at all (laughs). We had sort of a back-up plan just in case, if none of this works we'll just turn off all the lights and Bella and the Beast will be dancing in a little spotlight in a darkened room like an ice skating show (laughs). Fortunately, when we got the first piece of test film back, it was amazingly breathtaking, made a big sigh of relief because we knew it was going to work.
* We actually designed all the camera movement first and animated the characters to match that.
* We created computer generated stand-ins, the ballroom was sort of a chicken-wire kind of thing and Bella &amp; the Beast were represented by these box and egg sort of things.
* You have to make all the same decisions that a live action director would have to make. Everything from where to put the camera to what the emotional tone of the scene is going to be, in addition to answering all the questions about costume design and weather and color and all the numerous elements that go into making the scene. We're there every step of the way from the very first crude character designs and early storyboards to how loud the footsteps of the Beast should be as he's walking across the marble floor. We shepherd the process from beginning to end.
** [[w:Kirk Wise|Kirk Wise]] [http://www.bigmoviezone.com/articles/index.html?uniq=84]

== Cast (voices) ==
* [[w:Paige O'Hara|Paige O'Hara]] – B. la Belle the Beauty
* [[w:Rex Everhart|Rex Everhart]] – Maurice
* [[w:Robby Benson|Robby Benson]] – Master B. le Bête the Beast/Prince Adam
* [[w:Richard White (actor)|Richard White]] – Gaston
* [[w:Jerry Orbach|Jerry Orbach]] – Monsieur Lumière the Candelabra
* [[w:David Ogden Stiers|David Ogden Stiers]] – Narrator, Sir Cogsworth the Clock
* [[w:Angela Lansbury|Angela Lansbury]] – Mrs. Potts the Teapot
* [[w:Mary Kay Bergman|Mary Kay Bergman]] – Claudette Bimbette, Laurette Bimbette
* [[w:Kath Soucie|Kath Soucie]] – Paulette Bimbette
* [[w:Jesse Corti|Jesse Corti]] – Monsieur LeFou
* [[w:Bradley Pierce|Bradley Pierce]] – Chip Potts the Teacup
* [[w:Kimmy Robertson|Kimmy Robertson]] – Fifi Plumette Featherduster
* [[w:Hal Smith|Hal Smith]] – Philippe B. the Horse
* [[w:Jack Angel|Jack Angel]] – Tavern Man, Tom
* [[w:Philip Proctor|Phil Proctor]] – Dick
* [[w:Bill Farmer|Bill Farmer]] – Stanley
* [[w:Patrick Pinney|Patrick Pinney]] – Walter
* Mickie McGowan – French Peasant Woman
* Carole Jeghers – Woman holding the baby

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Beauty and the Beast (1991 film)}}
* {{imdb title|id=0101414|title=Beauty and the Beast}}

{{Disney's Beauty and the Beast}}
{{Authority control}}
[[Category:Beauty and the Beast (franchise)]]
[[Category:1991 animated films]]
[[Category:1991 American animated films]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated films]]
[[Category:American animated romance films]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical films]]
[[Category:American children's films]]
[[Category:Gary Trousdale films]]
[[Category:Kirk Wise films]]
[[Category:Screenplays by Joe Ranft]]
[[Category:United States National Film Registry films]]
[[Category:Animated films about princesses]]
[[Category:Animated films set in castles]]
[[Category:Disney Princess films]]
[[Category:Animated films about father–daughter relationships]]
[[Category:Animated films about shapeshifting]]
[[Category:Disney Renaissance]]
[[Category:Films about animal rights]]
[[Category:Best Original Song Academy Award winners]]
[[Category:Best Original Score Academy Award winners]]
[[Category:1990s English-language films]]
[[Category:Films about princes]]
[[Category:The Walt Disney Company]]</text>
      <sha1>0z1kvr7nz0sifdqzqowinwtcmiop95j</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944114</id>
      <parentid>3944004</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T03:34:04Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>03isrflo62410</username>
        <id>1485946</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>GET THAT SHIT OUTTA HERE!</comment>
      <origin>3944114</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="95752" sha1="o20btzbuazok47sphgevs25nusixe1c" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
[[File:Beauty and the Beast in a Disneyland parade.JPG|thumb|right|In a Walt Disney World parade.]]
'''''[[w:Beauty and the Beast (1991 film)|The Beauty and the Beast]]''''', also known as simply '''''Beauty and the Beast''''', '''''The Beauty and Beast''''' or '''''Beauty and Beast''''', is an American [[w:1991 in film|1991 animated film]] about a prince cursed to spend his days as a hideous monster who sets out to regain his humanity by earning a young woman's love. It was produced by [[w:Walt Disney Animation Studios|Walt Disney Feature Animation]] and released by [[w:Walt Disney Pictures|Walt Disney Pictures]].
:''Directed by [[w:Gary Trousdale|Gary Trousdale]] and [[w:Kirk Wise|Kirk Wise]]. Written by [[w:Linda Woolverton|Linda Woolverton]]''.
:''Music by [[Alan Menken]]'' and includes &quot;[[w:Beauty and the Beast (Disney song)|Beauty and the Beast]]&quot;. Written by [[w:Howard Ashman|Howard Ashman]] and performed by [[w:Peabo Brysonf|Peabo Bryson]] and [[w:Celine Dion|Celine Dion]].
{{center|'''The most beautiful love story ever told.'''}}

== Belle ==
* What is this place? Phillipe, please, steady. ''[enters the gate and sees Maurice's hat on the ground]'' Papa.
* That's funny, I'm sure there was someone... I-I-Is there anyone here?
* He's no monster, Gaston. You are!
* ''[gasps]''  No... no! No, please... Please don't leave me... ''[she sobs softly, laying her face against his chest]'' I love you...

== Prince Adam/The Beast ==
* Yes... but you must promise to stay here forever.
* The castle is your home now, so you can go anywhere you like, except the west wing. ''['''Belle''': What's in the West--] [growls]'' It's forbidden!
* You will join me for dinner! THAT'S NOT A REQUEST!

== Gaston ==
* ''['''LeFou''': So, how'd it go?]'' I'll have Belle for my wife. Make no mistake about that.
* Take whatever booty you can find, but remember, the Beast is mine!
* If I didn't know better, I'd think you had feelings for this monster.
* What's the matter, Beast? Too kind and gentle to fight back?

== Lumière ==
* Ma chère, mademoiselle. It is with deepest pride pleasure and greatest pride that I welcome you tonight. And now, we invite you to relax. Let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents...your dinner.
* Don't you see? She's the one. The girl we have been waiting for. She has come to break the spell!

== Cogsworth ==
* Couldn't keep quiet, could we? Just had to invite him to stay, didn't we? Serve him tea, sit in the master's chair, pet the pooch.
* Dinner is served.

== Mrs. Potts ==
* How would you like a nice spot of tea, sir? It'll warm you up in no time.
* Well, you can start by making yourself more presentable. Straighten up, try to act like a gentleman.

== Chip Potts ==
* Mama. There's a girl in the castle.
* You guys gotta try this thing.

== Maurice ==
* If no one will help me, then I'll go back alone. Yes, is that everything? I don't care what it takes. I'll find that castle and somehow, I... I'll get her out of there.
* Hitch up Philippe, girl. I'm off to the fair!

== Others ==
* '''Tavern Man''': Maurice?
* '''Monsieur D'Arque''': So you want me to throw her father in the asylum unless she agrees to marry you? ''[They both nod in agreement]'' Oh, that is despicable. I love it!
* '''Tom''': Who?
* '''Dick''': Is it a big beast?
* '''Stanley''': With a long, ugly snout?
* '''Walter''': And sharp, cruel fangs?

== Dialogue ==
:'''Narrator''': ''[first lines]'' Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a young prince lived in a shining castle. Although he had everything his heart desired, the prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind. But then, one winter's night, an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold. Repulsed by her haggard appearance, the prince sneered at the gift and turned the old woman away, but she warned him not to be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within. And when he dismissed her again, the old woman's ugliness melted away to reveal a beautiful enchantress. The prince tried to apologize, but it was too late, for she had seen that there was no love in his heart, and as punishment, she transformed him into a hideous beast, and placed a powerful spell on the castle, and all who lived there. Ashamed of his monstrous form, the beast concealed himself inside his castle, with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose, which would bloom until his 21st year. If he could learn to love another, and earn her love in return by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years passed, he fell into despair, and lost all hope, for who could ever learn to love a beast?
:''[We have seen a progression of stained glass windows illustrating the narration, as well as Beast shredding his portrait, the camera slowly zooms out from the castle. A girl with beautiful, long, flowing and wavy brown hair tied up in a low ponytail tied up by a ribbon  captivating, large, striking, expressive and round hazel eyes, full pink lips, fair skin, rosy cheeks, full, soft and slightly arched eyebrows, small and petite duchess nose, a heart-shaped round face and a sculpted, slim and well-proportioned figure, wearing a medium-length cerulean blue sleeveless dress with a white long puffy-sleeved shirt with a puffy collar underneath, a white apron around her waist, a white petticoat, and dark brown ballet flats with darker brown soles on her feet, her name is Belle. She exits the front door and begins her walk into town]''
:'''Belle''': ''[singing]'' Little town, it's a quiet village / Every day, like the one before / Little town, full of little people / Waking up to say?
:'''Townsfolk #1''': Bonjour!
:'''Townsfolk #2''': Bonjour!
:'''Townsfolk #3''': Bonjour!
:'''Townsfolk #4''':  Bonjour!
:'''Townsfolk #5''':  Bonjour!
:'''Belle''': ''[singing]'' There goes the baker with his tray like always / The same old bread and rolls to sell / Every mornin' just the same / Since the mornin' that we came / To this poor provincial town...
:'''Baker''': Good mornin', Belle!
:''[Belle jumps over to the bakery]''
:'''Belle''': Mornin' monsieur!
:'''Baker''': Where are you off to?
:'''Belle''': The bookshop! I just finished the most wonderful story, about a beanstalk and an ogre and...
:'''Baker''': ''[ignoring her]'' That's nice...Marie, the baguettes! Hurry up!!
:'''Townsfolk''': Look there she goes, that girl is strange no question / Dazed and distracted, can't you tell?
:'''Woman #1''': Never part of any crowd
:'''Barber''': Cause her head's up on some cloud
:'''Townsfolk''': No denying she's a funny girl, that Belle!
:'''Driver''': Bonjour!
:'''Woman #2''': Good day!
:'''Driver''': How is your family?
:'''Woman #3''': Bonjour!
:'''Merchant''': Good day!
:'''Woman #3''': How is your wife?
:'''Woman #4''': I need six eggs!
:'''Man #1''': That's too expensive!
:'''Belle''': There must be more than this provincial life!
:''[Belle enters the bookshop]''
:'''Bookseller''': Ah, Belle!
:'''Belle''': Good mornin'. I've come to return the book I borrowed.
:'''Bookseller''': ''[putting the book back on the shelf]'' Finished already?
:'''Belle''': Oh, I couldn't put it down! Have you got anything new?
:'''Bookseller''': ''[laughing]'' Not since yesterday.
:'''Belle''': ''[on ladder of bookshelf]'' That's all right. I'll borrow... this one.
:'''Bookseller''': That one? But you've read it twice!
:'''Belle''': Well, it's my favorite! ''[Belle swings off side of ladder, rolling down it's track]'' Far off places, daring swordfights, magic spells, a prince in disguise!
:'''Bookseller''': ''[handing her the book]'' Well, if you like it all that much, it's yours!
:'''Belle''': But sir!
:'''Bookseller''': I insist!
:'''Belle''': Well, thank you. Thank you, very much! ''[leaves bookshop]''
:'''Men''': ''[looking in window, then turning to watch her]'' Look there she goes / That girl is so peculiar! / I wonder if she's feeling well!
:'''Women''': With a dreamy far-off look!
:'''Men''': And her nose stuck in a book!
:'''All''': What a puzzle to the rest of us is Belle! ''[Belle sits on the edge of a fountain, singing to a flock of sheep and the washing woman in the background, who leaves]''
:'''Belle''': Ohhhhh, isn't this amazing! / It's my favorite part because, you'll see! / Here's where she meets Prince Charming / But she won't discover that it's him 'til chapter three!
:'''Woman #5''': Now it's no wonder that her name means 'beauty' / Her looks have got no parallel!
:'''Merchant''': But behind that fair facade / I'm afraid she's rather odd / Very different from the rest of us...
:'''All''': She's nothing like the rest of us / Yes different from the rest of us is Belle.
:'''LeFou''': ''[first words]'' Wow! You didn't miss a shot, Gaston! You're the greatest hunter in the whole world!
:'''Gaston''': ''[first words]'' I know!
:'''LeFou''': Huh. No beast alive stands a chance against you...and no girl for that matter!
:'''Gaston''': It's true, LeFou, and I've got my sights set on that one! ''[pointing to Belle]''
:'''LeFou''': The inventor's daughter?
:'''Gaston''': She's the one! The lucky girl I'm going to marry.
:'''LeFou''': But she's--
:'''Gaston''': The most beautiful girl in town.
:'''LeFou''': I know--
:'''Gaston''': And that makes her the best. And don't I deserve the best?
:'''LeFou''': Well of course, I mean you do, but I mean...
:'''Gaston''': ''[singing]'' Right from the moment when I met her, saw her / I said she's gorgeous and I fell / Here in town there's only she ''[Belle walks by and away]'' / Who is beautiful as me / So I'm making plans to woo and marry Belle.
:'''Bimbettes''': Look there he goes, isn't he dreamy / Monsieur Gaston, oh he's so cute / Be still my heart, I'm hardly breathing / He's such a tall, dark, strong and handsome brute. ''[Belle walks easily through the crowd of people in the town, Gaston struggles to catch up to her]''
:'''Man #1''': Bonjour!
:'''Man #2''': Good day!
:'''Man #3''': Mais oui!
:'''Woman #1''': You call this bacon?
:'''Woman #2''': What lovely grapes!
:'''Man #4''': Some cheese!
:'''Woman #3''': 10 yards!
:'''Man #4''': 1 pound!
:'''Gaston''': Excuse me!
:'''Man #4''': I'll get the knife!
:'''Gaston''': Please let me through!
:'''Woman #4''': This bread, it's stale!
:'''Man #5''': Those fish! They smell!
:'''Man #6''': Madame's mistaken!
:'''Belle''': ''[singing]'' There must be more than this provincial life!
:'''Gaston''': ''[singing]'' Just watch I'm going to make Belle my wife! ''[Townsfolk gather around Gaston, and eventually surround him]''
:'''Chorus''': Look there she goes a girl who's strange but special / A most peculiar mademoiselle / It's a pity and a sin / She doesn't quite fit in! / 'Cause she really is a funny girl! / A beauty but a funny girl / She really is a funny girl! / That Belle!?
:'''Gaston''': Bonjour! Whoa-oh! ''[song ends; to Belle]'' Hello, Belle.
:'''Belle''': Bonjour, Gaston. ''[Gaston grabs the book from Belle]'' Gaston, may I have my book, please?
:'''Gaston''': How can you read this? There's no pictures!
:'''Belle''': Well, some people use their imagination.
:'''Gaston''': Belle, it's about time you got your head out of those books, ''[tossing book into the mud]'' and paid attention to more important things. Like me. The whole town's talking about it. ''[The Bimbettes, who are looking on, sighing romantically. Belle has picked up the book and is cleaning off the mud]'' It's not right for a woman to read. Soon she starts getting ideas and thinking.
:'''Belle''': Gaston, you are positively primeval.
:'''Gaston''': ''[putting his hand around her shoulders]'' Why, thank you, Belle. What do you say you and me take a walk over to the tavern, and take a look at my trophies?
:'''Belle''': Maybe some other time.
:'''Bimbette #1''': What's the matter with her?
:'''Bimbette #2''': She's crazy!
:'''Bimbette #3''': He's gorgeous.
:'''Belle''': Please, Gaston, I can't. I have to get home to help my father. Goodbye.
:'''LeFou''': Ha ha ha, that crazy old loon, he needs all the help he can get! ''[he and Gaston laugh heartily]''
:'''Belle''': ''[angrily]'' Don't you talk about my father that way.
:'''Gaston''': Yeah, don't talk about her father that way! ''[conks LeFou on the head]''
:'''Belle''': My father's not crazy! He's a genius! ''[explosion in background. Gaston and LeFou continue laughing. She rushes home and descends into the basement; coughed]'' Papa?!
:'''Maurice''': How on earth did that happen? ''[Belle coughs again]'' Doggone it! ''[pulls the barrel off his waist, along with his pants]''
:'''Belle''': Are you alright, Papa?
:'''Maurice''': I'm about ready to give up on this hunk of junk! ''[kicks the machine]''
:'''Belle''': You always say that.
:'''Maurice''': I mean it this time! I'll never get this boneheaded contraption to work!
:'''Belle''': Yes, you will. And you'll win first prize at the fair tomorrow. 
:'''Maurice''': Hmmmph!
:'''Belle''': And become a world-famous inventor.
:'''Maurice''': You really believe that?
:'''Belle''': I always have.
:'''Maurice''': Well, what are we waitin' for? I'll have this thin' fixed in no time. Hand me that... The dog-legged clincher there. So, did you have a good time in town today?
:'''Belle''': I got a new book. Papa, do you think I'm odd?
:'''Maurice''': My daughter? Odd? Ha! Where would you get an idea like that?
:'''Belle''': I don't know. It's just that I'm not sure I fit in here. There's no one I can really talk to.
:'''Maurice''': What about that Gaston? He's a handsome fella.
:'''Belle''': He's handsome, all right, and rude and conceited and... Oh, Papa, he's not for me.
:'''Maurice''': Well, don't you worry. Cause this invention's gonna be the start of a new life for us. ''[comes out from under machine]'' I think that's done it. Now, let's give it a try.
:''[Machine whirs and chops wood, just as it should]''
:'''Belle''': It works!
:'''Maurice''': It does? It does!
:'''Belle''': You did it! You really did it!
:'''Maurice''': Hitch up Philippe, girl. I'm off to the fair!
:''[Log strikes him in the head, knocking him out. Fade to later in the day]''
:'''Belle''': Goodbye, Papa! Good luck!
:'''Maurice''': Goodbye, Belle, and take care while I'm gone!
:''[Fade to the deep forest, night. After a few hours of traveling, it seems obvious that they are lost, after Belle plays the violin. Philippe walks on cautiously, frightened out of his wits]''
:'''Maurice''': We should be there by now. ''[above them, an owl hoots, adding to the spookiness of the environment]'' Maybe we missed a turn. I guess I should have taken... wait a minute. ''[raising his lantern toward a sign with arrows pointing in separate directions, though the writing is faded and unreadable. Philippe snorts, and whinnies to go one fashion, but he pulls his reins in the separate direction]'' No, let's go this way! ''[Philippe whinnies and looks at the path Maurice has picked. It is dark and foggy with light blue clouds, with many trees forming an archway. Then he looks at the other path, which is much more inviting. Philippe whinnies to go on the safer path, but he pulls him toward the other one]'' Come on, Philippe, it's a shortcut! We'll be there in no time. ''[the two continue down the path, albeit slowly due to Philippe, fearing what can be lurking about in the darkness. At that moment, a shadow whisks past them and the sound of wolf howling fills the air, spooking Philippe whinnies; looking at his map]'' This can't be right. Where have you taken us, Philippe? We'd better turn around. ''[suddenly, the howling becomes louder. Philippe whinnies to back up, afraid of whatever might be around them]'' Whoa. Whoa, boy. Whoa, now. Whoa, Philippe. ''[but the spooked horse does not stop in time, and bumps into a hollow tree. A flocks of bats swarm out and surround them]'' Look out! No! ''[Philippe runs off in fear, not noticing where he's going]'' Whoa! Whoa, boy! ''[eventually, his steed stops until he sees where he is; at the edge of a very tall cliff]'' Back up! Back up! Back up! ''[they back off slowly, yet afraid to an inch of their lives]'' Good boy, good boy. That's good, that's–back up! Steady. Steady! Now, steady. Steady. ''[the howling is now so loud, Philippe whinnying]'' Oh, no, Philippe?! ''[looks up and sees wolves growling at him. Maurice runs away, being chased by the wolves. He stumbles down a hill, and lands at the gate of a castle. He grabs the locked gate and tries to shake it open]'' Help! Is... Is someone there? Help!
:''[The gate opens, and Maurice runs in. He slams the gate in the faces of the wolves. Leaving his hat on the ground as the rain begins to fall, Maurice runs to the castle and bangs on the door. It creaks open and he enters, cautiously]''
:'''Maurice''': Hello? Hello?
:''[Watching from a table near the entrance are Lumière and Cogsworth]''
:'''Lumière''': ''[barely whispering]'' Poor fellow must have lost his way in the woods.
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[also whispering]'' Keep quiet! Maybe he'll go away.
:'''Maurice''': Is someone there?
:'''Cogsworth''': Not a word, Lumiere. Not one word!
:'''Maurice''': I don't mean to intrude, but I've lost my horse and I need a place to stay for the night.
:'''Lumière''': ''[looking at Cogsworth like a child having just found a lost puppy]'' Oh, Cogsworth, have a heart.
:'''Cogsworth''': Shush shush shhhhh! ''[puts hand over Lumière's mouth, who promptly proceeds to touch his lit candle hand to Cogsworth's hand]'' Ow, ow! '''''OW, OW, OW, OUCH!!!!!'''''
:'''Lumière''': Of course, monsieur, you are welcome here.
:'''Maurice''': ''[looking around in confusion]'' Who said that?
:''[He picks up the candlestick for light, not realizing that the speaker is in his hand]''
:'''Lumière''': ''[tapping him on the shoulder]'' Over here!
:'''Maurice''': ''[spins around, pulling Lumière to the other side]'' Where?
:'''Lumière''': ''[taps Maurice on the side of the head. Maurice looks at Lumière]'' Hello!
:'''Maurice''': Oh!!!! ''[startled, he drops Lumière onto the floor]'' Incredible!
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[hopping over]'' Well, now you've done it, Lumière. Splendid, just peachy--aaarrrgghh!
:''[Maurice picks up Cogsworth]''
:'''Maurice''': How is this accomplished?
:''[He fiddles with Cogsworth]''
:'''Cogsworth''': Put me down! At once! ''[Maurice tickles the bottoms of Cogsworth's feet. He laughs. He begins to wind the spring on the back of Cogsworth's head, twisting his face around with the clock hands. Maurice opens the front of Cogsworth and begins to play with his pendulum. Cogsworth slams the door shut on his finger]'' Stop that! Stop that, I say! Sir, close that at once, do you mind!
:'''Maurice''': I beg your pardon, it's just that I've never seen a clock that...aah...I mean...aah aah aah-chooo!!!
:''[Maurice sneezes in the face of Cogsworth, who proceeds to wipe his face off using his clock hands in a very anachronistic windshield wiper manner. Maurice sniffles, indicating the cold he has caught from being in the rain]''
:'''Lumière''': Oh, you are soaked to the bone, monsieur. Come, warm yourself by the fire.
:'''Maurice''': Thank you.
:''[Lumière and Maurice head towards the den, with Cogsworth running after them]''
:'''Cogsworth''': No, no, no, do you know what the master would do if he finds you here. ''[Beast is watching the action from an overhead walkway, and rushes off as the trio enters the den]'' I demand that you stop...right...there! ''[Cogsworth tumbles down the steps. Maurice takes a seat in a large chair in front of a roaring fire]'' Oh, no, not the master's chair! ''[Footstool rushes past Cogsworth, barking up a storm]'' I'm not seeing this, I'm not seeing this!
:'''Maurice''': ''[as Footstool rushes up to him]'' Well, hello there, boy. ''[Footstool props himself up under the feet of Maurice. Coatrack enters and removes his cloak]'' What service!
:'''Cogsworth''': All right, this has gone far enough. I'm in charge here...
:''[Cogsworth is run over by the (once again) anachronistic IndyCar sounding teacart of Mrs. Potts]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': ''[arriving by the side of Maurice]'' How would you like a nice spot of tea, sir? It'll warm you up in no time.
:''[Mrs. Potts pours tea into cup, Chip, which hops over into Maurice's open hand]''
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[from face down position on carpet]'' No! No tea, no tea!!!
:'''Chip''': ''[as Maurice sips the tea]'' Ha ha! His mustache tickles, Mama!
:'''Maurice''': ''[startled by the cup]'' Oh! Hello!
:''[The door to the den slams open and a strong gust of wind blows into the room, extinguishing Lumière's flames and the fire in the fireplace. Cogsworth dives for cover. Mrs. Potts begins to shake. Chip jumps back onto the tea cart and takes refuge from behind his mother]''
:'''Chip''': Uh-oh!
:''[Beast enters. We see him in full for the first time. He is on all fours. He looks around in the darkness]''
:'''Beast''': ''[first words; growling his words]'' There's a stranger here.
:'''Lumière''': ''[who has relit his flames]'' Master, allow me to explain. The gentleman was lost in the woods and he was cold and wet, so...
:''[Lumière's last sentence is drowned out by the very loud growl of Beast, which puts out his flames once again. Lumière looks down, dejected]''
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[coming out from under a rug]'' Master, I'd like to take this moment to say, I was against this from the start. It was all his fault. I tried to stop them, but would they listen to me? No, no... ''[Again, Beast's growl drowns out Cogsworth]''
:''[The Beast barges in to see Maurice getting settled in the castle]''
:'''Beast''': Who are you?! What are you doing here?!
:'''Maurice''': I-I-I was lost in the woods and--
:'''Beast''': You're not '''WELCOME HERE!'''
:'''Maurice''': I-I'm...I'm sorry.
:'''Beast''': What are you '''STARING AT?!'''
:'''Maurice''': Nothing.
:'''Beast''': So...you've come to stare at the '''BEAST, HAVE YOU?!?!''' ''[blocks Maurice's way]''
:'''Maurice''': ''[pleaders]'' Please! I mean no harm, I just needed a place to stay!
:'''Beast''': I'll give you a place to stay! ''[picks up Maurice]''
:'''Maurice''': ''[as the Beast takes him to the tower]'' No, no, please! No! No! ''[door slams]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''LeFou''': Heh! Oh boy! Belle's gonna get the surprise of her life, huh Gaston?
:'''Gaston''': Yep. This is her lucky day.
:''[Gaston lets go of a branch, which swings back and hits LeFou in the mouth. Gaston turns to the band, wedding guests and others, apparently just out of sight of Belle's cottage.]''
:'''Gaston''': I'd like to thank you all for coming to my wedding. But first, I'd better go in there and... propose to the girl. ''[chuckles; the male guests laugh and the Bimbettes sob]'' And you, LeFou. When Belle and I come out that door...
:'''LeFou''': Oh, I know! I know! I strike up the band!
:''[The band plays &quot;Here Comes the Bride,&quot; loud and fast, until Gaston rams a tuba down on LeFou's head]''
:'''Gaston''': Not yet!
:'''LeFou''': ''[sticked his lips through the mouthpiece]'' Sorry!
:''[There was a knock on the door.]''
:'''Belle''': Gaston, what a pleasant surprise.
:'''Gaston''': Isn't it though? I'm just full of surprises. You know, Belle. There's not a girl in town who wouldn't love to be in your shoes. This is the day...''[Gaston pauses by a mirror and licks his teeth clean.]'' This is the day your dreams come true.
:'''Belle''': What do you know about my dreams, Gaston?
:'''Gaston''': Plenty! Here, picture this. ''[sits, props muddy boots on Belle's book, kicks them off]'' A rustic hunting lodge, my latest kill roasting on the fire, and my little wife, massaging my feet, while the little ones play with the dogs. We'll have six or seven.
:'''Belle''': Dogs?
:'''Gaston''': No, Belle! Strapping boys, like me!
:'''Belle''': Imagine that. ''[retrieves book and shelves it]''
:'''Gaston''': And do you know who that wife will be?
:'''Belle''': Let me think.
:'''Gaston''': You, Belle!
:'''Belle''': I'm speechless! I really don't know what to say.
:'''Gaston''': Say you'll marry me!
:'''Belle''': I'm very sorry, Gaston, but... ''[turns the doorknob]'' ...but I just don't deserve you! 
:''[She opens the door]''
:'''Gaston''': Whoa!
:''[Gaston stumbles out and she throws his boots after him before closing it. Gaston lands in a pig's mud wallow as LeFou conducts the band in &quot;Here Comes the Bride&quot;]''
:'''LeFou''': Ooh, so, how'd it go? Oomph! Uh.
:'''Gaston''': ''[picks up LeFou, angrily]'' I'll have Belle for my wife! Make no mistake about that! 
:'''LeFou''': Oh.
:''[throws LeFou into the mud and storms off]''
:'''LeFou''': Hmm! Touchy! ''[The pig oinks in agreement]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Belle''': ''[to the chickens]'' Is he gone? ''[seeing he is, hurried outside, a bucket of chickens feed in her hand]'' Can you imagine? He asked me to marry him. Me, the wife of that boorish, brainless? ''[walks of the animals, and feeding the chickens, singing]'' Madame Gaston, can't you just see it? / Madame Gaston, his little wife. ''[kicks the buckets, the chickens clucking and goats bleats]'' / No, sir, not me, I guarantee it / I want much more than this provincial life. / I want adventure in the great wide somewhere / I want it more than I can tell / And for once it might be grand / To have someone understand / I want so much more than they've got planned ''[Phillipe runs into the open field. Belle looks at him, disturbed that Maurice is not with him.]''
:'''Belle''': Phillipe! What are you doing here? Where's Papa? Where is he, Philippe? What happened? Oh, we have to find him, you have to take me to him. ''[Belle unhitches the wagon from Philippe.]''
:''[Outside the castle gate. (How Phillipe brought Belle there is a mystery, seeing as Phillipe never made it to the castle with Maurice.)]''
:'''Belle''': What is this place?
:'''Philippe''': ''[snorts, neighs]''
:'''Belle''': Phillipe, please, steady. Papa.
:'''Cogsworth''': Couldn't keep quiet, could we? Just had to invite him to stay, didn't we? Serve him tea, sit in the master's chair, pet the pooch.
:'''Lumière''': I was trying to be hospitable.
:'''Belle''': Hello? Is anyone here? Hello? Papa? Papa, are you here?
:'''Chip''': Momma. There's a girl in the castle!
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Now, Chip, I won't have you making up such wild stories.
:'''Chip''': But really, momma, I saw her.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Not another word. Into the tub.
:'''Featherduster''': A girl! I saw a girl in the castle!
:'''Chip''': See, I told ya!
:'''Cogsworth''': Irresponsible, devil-may-care, waxy eared, slack-jawed--
:'''Belle''': Papa?
:'''Lumière''': Did you see that? It's a girl!
:'''Cogsworth''': I know it's a girl.
:'''Lumière''': Don't you see? She's the one. The girl we have been waiting for. She has come to break the spell!
:'''Cogsworth''': Wait a minute, wait a minute!
:'''Belle''': Papa? Papa? Hello? Is someone here? Wait! I'm looking for my father! I... That's funny, I'm sure there was someone... I-I-Is there anyone here?
:'''Maurice''': Belle?
:'''Belle''': Oh, Papa!
:'''Maurice''': But how did you find me?
:'''Belle''': Oh, your hands are ice. I have to get you out of here!
:'''Maurice''': You must go! 
:'''Belle''': Who's done this to you? 
:'''Maurice''': No time to explain! You must go ''now!''
:'''Belle''': I won't leave you!
:'''Beast''': '''What are you doing here?!'''
:'''Maurice''': Run, Belle!
:'''Belle''': Who's there? Who are you?
:'''Beast''': The master of this castle.
:'''Belle''': I've come for my father. Please let him out! Can't you see he's sick?!
:'''Beast''': ''[angrily; losing patience]'' Then he shouldn't have trespassed here!
:'''Belle''': But he could die! Please, I'll do anything!
:'''Beast''': There's nothing you can do! He's my prisoner!
:'''Belle''': Oh, there must be some way I can... Wait! Take me instead. 
:'''Beast''': '''''YOU'''''... You would... take his place? 
:'''Maurice''': Belle, no! You don't know what you're doing!
:'''Belle''': If I did, would you let him go?
:'''Beast''': Yes. But... you must promise to stay here forever!
:'''Belle''': Come into the light.
:'''Maurice''': No, Belle! I won't let you do this!
:'''Belle''': You have my word.
:'''Beast''': Done!
:'''Maurice''': No, Belle. Listen to me. I'm old, I've lived my life-
:'''Belle''': Wait!
:'''Maurice''': '''Belle!'''
:'''Belle''': ''WAIT!!''
:'''Maurice''': No, please spare my daughter!
:'''Beast''': She's no longer your concern. Take him to the village.
:'''Maurice''': Please, let me out, please!
:'''Lumière''': Master?
:'''Beast''': What?
:'''Lumière''': Since the girl is going to be with us for quite some time, I was thinking that you might want to offer her a more comfortable room. Then again, maybe not.
:'''Belle''': You didn't even let me say goodbye. I'll never see him again. I didn't get to say goodbye.
:'''Beast''': I'll show you to your room.
:'''Belle''': My room? But I thought...
:'''Beast''': You wanna stay in the tower?
:'''Belle''': No.
:'''Beast''': Then follow me.
:'''Lumière''': Say something to her.
:'''Beast''': Hmm? Oh. I hope you like it here. The castle is your home now, so you can go anywhere you like, except the West Wing.
:'''Belle''': What's in the West...
:'''Beast''': It's forbidden! Now, if you need anything, my servants will attend you.
:'''Lumière''': Dinner... invite her to dinner.
:'''Beast''': ''[angrily; losing patience]'' You will join me for dinner. That's not a request!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%/&gt;
:'''Gaston''': ''[displeased about what happened to him]'' Who does she think she is? That girl has '''''tangled''''' with the wrong man! No one says no to Gaston!
:'''LeFou''': Heh-heh! Darn right!
:'''Gaston''': Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly Humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear! ''[throwing his two mugs of beer into the fireplace]''
:'''LeFou''': More beer?
:'''Gaston''': ''[frustratingly turning his chair away from the fireplace]'' What for? Nothing helps! I'm disgraced.
:'''LeFou''': Who, you? Never! Gaston, you've gotta pull yourself together! ''[singing]'' Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston / Looking so down in the dumps / Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston
:'''Old Cronies''': Hooray!
:'''LeFou''': Even when taking your lumps / There's no man in town as admired as you / You're everyone's favorite guy! / Everyone's awed and inspired by you / &lt;big&gt;'''''AND IT'S NOT... VERY HARD! TO SEE WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!'''''&lt;/big&gt; / Noooooo, oooone's sllllick as Gaston, no one's quick as Gaston / No one's next as incredibly thick as Gaston / For there's no man in town half as manly / Perfect, a pure paragon! / You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley / And they'll tell you who's team they'd prefer to be '''''yooooooown!!!!!!'''''
:''[LeFou has pulled a man's belt off, whose pants fall to the ground. LeFou jumps up and wraps the belt around Gaston's neck, who flexes and breaks it off. LeFou continues to dance around. Old cronies pick him up and swing him around]''
:'''Old Cronies''': Noooooo, oooone's been like Gaston, a king-pin like Gaston.
:'''LeFou''': No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston.
:'''Gaston''': As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!
:'''Old Cronies''': My, what a guy that Gaston! ''[swing LeFou back and forth into the camera. LeFou tickles Gaston's chin, who stands with pride]'' Give 5 hurrahs, give 12 hip-hips!
:'''LeFou''': Gaston is the best and the rest is all drips!
:''[LeFou swings up his arm in dance and throws a mug of beer in Gaston's face, who socks LeFou in the face]''
:'''All''': Noooooo, oooone, fights like Gaston, douses lights like Gaston.
:'''Stanley''': In a wrestling match, nobody bites like Gaston.
:'''Bimbettes''': For there's no one as burly and brawny.
:'''Gaston''': As you see I've got biceps to spare.
:'''LeFou''': Not a bit of him scraggly or scrawny.
:'''Gaston''': That's right! And every last inch of me's covered with hair! ''[Gaston fights with the men, then lifts a bench with the Bimbettes on it. He drops the bench on LeFou, then turns to the camera and reveals his hairy chest]''
:'''Old Cronies''': No one hits like Gaston, matches wits like Gaston.
:'''LeFou''': In a spitting match, nobody spits like Gaston!
:'''Gaston''': I'm especially good at expectorating! Ptooey!
:'''All''': '''''10 POINTS FOR GASTON!'''''
:''[Gaston plays a chess game with a man, then hits the board, sending it and pieces all over. He takes a bite of leather from the belt once wrapped around his neck, chews it and spits it into a spittoon, which falls and gets stuck on the head of LeFou]''
:'''Gaston''': When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs. Every morning to help me get '''''LARGE!!!''''' And now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs. So I'm roughly the size of a '''''ba-a-a-a-arge!''''' ''[Gaston juggles a number of eggs, then swallows them whole. LeFou attempts the trick, and is hit in the face by three eggs]''
:'''All''': Noooooo, oooone shoots like Gaston, makes those beauts like Gaston.
:'''LeFou''': Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston.
:'''Gaston''': I use antlers in all of my decorating!
:''[Gaston takes three shots at a beer barrel, which begins leaking into the mugs of onlookers. He returns stomping to his chair, where we see the fireplace surrounded by the heads of the animals he has killed. The mystery cut of music is here! Cut to ending of &quot;Gaston Reprise&quot;]''
:'''All''': My what a '''''guuuuuy!''''' &lt;big&gt;'''''GASTOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNN!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[The old cronies have picked up the chair and carry Gaston around in it. LeFou tries to flee, but they toss the chair into its normal place, and LeFou is pinned underneath. Maurice bursts in frantically]''
:'''Maurice''': Help! Someone help me!
:'''Tavern Man''': Maurice?
:'''Maurice''': Please! Please, I need your help! He's got her. He's got her locked in the dungeon.
:'''Tom''': Who?
:'''Maurice''': Belle. We must go. Not... not a minute to lose!
:'''Gaston''': Whoa! Slow down, Maurice. Who's got Belle locked in a dungeon?
:'''Maurice''': A beast! A horrible, monstrous beast! ''[Maurice has gone from person to person, pleading his case, until he is thrown at the feet of Gaston. A moment of silence, then the old cronies begin to laugh and mock him]''
:'''Dick''': Is it a big beast?
:'''Maurice''': Huge!
:'''Stanley''': With a long, ugly snout?
:'''Maurice''': Hideously ugly!
:'''Walter''': And sharp, cruel fangs?
:'''Maurice''': Yes, yes. Will you help me?
:'''Gaston''': All right, old man. We'll help you out.
:'''Maurice''': You will? Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!
:''[The old cronies pick up Maurice and help him out by throwing him through the door]''
:'''Tom''': Crazy old Maurice.
:'''Dick''': He's always good for a laugh!
:'''Gaston''': ''[very pensive]'' Crazy old Maurice, hmm? Crazy old Maurice. Hmm? ''[singing]'' LeFou, I'm afraid I've been thinking.
:''[LeFou is still under the chair]''
:'''LeFou''': ''[singing]'' A dangerous pastime--
:'''Gaston''': ''[singing]'' I know, / But that wacky old coot is Belle's father / And his sanity's only so-so...| Now the wheels in my head have been turning / Since I looked at that loony old man / See I promised myself I'd be married to Belle, / And right now I'm evolving a plan! ''[Gaston picks LeFou out from under the chair and holds his head close, and whispers]''
:'''Gaston''': If I... ''[whispers]''
:'''LeFou''': Yes?
:'''Gaston''': Then I... ''[whispers]''
:'''LeFou''': No, would she?
:'''Gaston''': ''[whispering]'' ...GUESS!
:'''LeFou''': Now I get it!
:'''Gaston and LeFou''': '''Let's Go!''' ''[they begin a waltz around the floor as they sings]'' Noooooo, oooooone, plots like Gaston, takes cheap shots like Gaston.
:'''LeFou''': Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston.
:'''Chorus''': SO HIS MARRIAGE WE SOON'LL BE '''''Celebra-a-a-ti-i-ing!''''' / My what a guy, '''''GASTOOOOOOOOOON!!!'''''
:''[Camera zooms out through window to snow covered square, empty except for Maurice]''
:'''Maurice''': ''[to no one in particular]'' Will no one help me? ''[Random; ? At the bedroom of the castle where Belle is still crying. There is a 'clink clink clink' at the door. She gets up and walks over to open the door. Mrs. Potts enters with Chip and their entourage]''
:'''Belle''': Who is it?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Mrs. Potts, dear. I thought you might like a spot of tea.
:'''Belle''': But you...ah...but...I--
:'''Wardrobe''': Oof. Careful!
:'''Belle''': This is impossible--
:'''Wardrobe''': I know it is, but here we are!
:'''Chip''': Told you she was pretty, Mama, didn't I?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': All right, now, Chip, that'll do. Slowly now. Don't spill.
:'''Belle''': Thank you.
:'''Chip''': Want to see me do a trick?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Chip?!
:'''Chip''': Oops, sorry.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': That was a very brave thing you did, my dear.
:'''Wardrobe''': We all think so.
:'''Belle''': But I've lost my father, my dreams, everything.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Cheer up, child. It'll turn out all right in the end. You'll see. Oops! Look at me, jabbering on, when there's a supper to get on the table. Chip!
:'''Chip''': Bye!
:'''Wardrobe''': Well now, what shall we dress you in for dinner? Let's see what I've got in my drawers. Oh-ho! How embarrassing. Here we are. Ah! There you are, you'll look ravishing in this one!
:'''Belle''': That's very kind of you, but I'm not going to dinner.
:'''Wardrobe''': Oh, but you must!
:'''Cogsworth''': Dinner is served.
:'''Beast''': What's taking so long? I told her to come down. '''Why isn't she here yet?!'''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, try to be patient, sir. The girl has lost her father and her freedom all in one day.
:'''Lumière''': Uh, master. Have you thought that, perhaps, this girl could be the one to break the spell?
:'''Beast''': Of course I have! I'm not a fool.
:'''Lumière''': Good! You fall in love with her, she falls in love with you, and - Poof! - the spell is broken! We'll be human again by midnight!
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, it's not that easy, Lumière. These things take time.
:'''Lumière''': But the rose has already begun to wilt.
:'''Beast''': Oh, it's no use. She's so beautiful, and I'm... well, look at me!
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, you must help her to see past all that.
:'''Beast''': I don't know how.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Well, you can start by making yourself more presentable. Straighten up, try to act like a gentleman.
:'''Lumière''': Ah yes, when she comes in, give her a dashing, debonair smile. Come, come. Show me the smile.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': But don't frighten the poor girl.
:'''Lumière''': Impress her with your rapier wit.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': But be gentle.
:'''Lumière''': Shower her with compliments.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': But be sincere.
:'''Lumière''': And above all...
:'''Mrs. Potts and Lumière''': You must control your temper!
:'''Lumière''': There she is!
:'''Cogsworth''': Uh, good evening.
:'''Beast''': Well, where is she?
:'''Cogsworth''': Who? Oh! The girl. Yes, the, ah, girl. Well, actually, she's in the process of, ah, um, circumstances being what they are, ew... She's not coming.
:'''Beast''': &lt;big&gt;'''''WHAT?!?!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Cogsworth''': Oh, dear, Your Grace, Your Eminence! Let's not be hasty!
:'''Beast''': '''I thought I told you to come down to dinner!'''
:'''Belle''': I'm not hungry.
:'''Beast''': '''You come out, or I'll...I'll...''I'LL BREAK DOWN THE DOOR!!!'''''
:'''Lumière''': Master, I could be wrong, but that may not be the best way to win the girl's affections.
:'''Cogsworth''': Please, attempt to be a gentleman.
:'''Beast''': But she is being so ''difficult!''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Gently, gently.
:'''Beast''': Will you come down to dinner?
:'''Belle''': No!
:'''Beast''': Hmm?!
:'''Cogsworth''': Uh-uh-uh! Suave. Genteel.
:'''Beast''': It would give me great pleasure... if you would join me for dinner.
:'''Cogsworth''': Ahem, ahem, we say &quot;please&quot;.
:'''Beast''': Please.
:'''Belle''': No, thank you!
:'''Beast''': ''[angrily; losing patience]'' '''You can't stay in there forever!'''
:'''Belle''': ''[provoked]'' Yes, I can!
:'''Beast''': ''[angrily]'' Fine! Then go ahead and ''[roars]'' '''''STAAAAARVE!!''''' If she doesn't eat with me, then she doesn't eat ''at all.''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, dear. That didn't go very well at all, did it?
:'''Cogsworth''': Lumière, stand watch at the door and inform me at once if there is the slightest change.
:'''Lumière''': You can count on me, mon-Capitan.
:'''Cogsworth''': Well, we might as well go downstairs and start cleaning up.
:'''Beast''': I ask nicely, but she refuses! What-What does she want me to do?! Beg?! Show me the girl.
:'''Wardrobe''': But the master's really not so bad once you get to know him. Why don't you give him a chance?
:'''Belle''': I don't want to get to know him. I don't want to have anything to do with him!
:'''Beast''': I'm just fooling myself. She'll never see me as anything but a monster. It's hopeless.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Fade out/Fade in to exterior of Belle's room. Door creaks open. Belle silently emerges. We see her feet go by as three bright spots shine through a curtain at floor level. Behind it are Lumière and Featherduster.]''
:'''Featherduster''': Oh, no!
:'''Lumière''': Oh, yes!
:'''Featherduster''': Oh, no!
:'''Lumière''': Oh, yes, yes, yes!
:'''Featherduster''': I've been burnt by you before!
:''[Lumière and Featherduster have emerged and Lumière takes her in his arms. Suddenly he looks up and sees Belle walking down the hall. He drops Featherduster.]''
:'''Featherduster''': Oof!
:'''Lumière''': Zut alors! She has emerged!
:''[Inside the kitchen, where we find Cogsworth, Mrs. Potts, Chip and the stove.]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Come on, Chip. Into the cupboard with your brothers and sisters. ''[helping him in]''
:'''Chip''': But I'm not sleepy.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Yes you are.
:'''Chip''': No, I'm not. ''[He falls asleep and Mrs. Potts shuts the cupboard door.]''
:''[A banging of pots and pans comes from the stove.]''
:'''Stove''': I work and I slave all day long, and for what? A culinary masterpiece gone to waste.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, stop your grousing. It's been a long night for all of us.
:'''Cogsworth''': Well, if you ask me, she was just being stubborn. After all, the master did say please.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': But if the master doesn't learn to control that temper, he'll never break the--
:''[Belle enters, and Cogsworth cuts off Mrs. Potts before she can say 'spell.']''
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[interrupting]'' Splendid to see you out and about, mademoiselle.
:''[Lumière comes running in.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': I am Cogsworth, head of the household.
:''[He leans over to kiss her hand, but Lumière butts in front of him.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': This is Lumière.
:'''Lumière''': Enchanté, chérie.
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[trying to talk around Lumière who is still kissing Belle's hand]'' If there's anything...stop that...that we can...please ''[finally shoving him out of the way]''...to make your stay more comfortable. ''[Lumière burns the hand of Cogsworth]'' Ow!!!!
:'''Belle''': I am a little hungry.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': ''[excited, to the other tea pots]'' You are? Hear that? She's hungry. Stoke the fire, break out the silver, wake the China.
:''[The fire on the stove roars to life, and drawers open to reveal silverware standing at attention.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[secretively]'' Remember what the master said.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, pish tosh. I'm not going to let the poor child go hungry.
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[thinking he is giving in to the ultimate demand]'' Oh, all right, fine. Glass of water, crust of bread, and then--
:'''Lumière''': Cogsworth, I am surprised at you. She's not our prisoner. She's our guest. We must make her feel welcome here. ''[to Belle]'' Right this way, mademoiselle.
:'''Cogsworth''': Well keep it down. If the master finds out about this, it will be our necks!
:'''Lumière''': Of course, of course. But what is dinner without a little music?
:''[Lumière has started out the swinging door. He lets it close, and the door hits Cogsworth and sends him across the room to land in a panfilled with (what looks like) pancake batter. He screams his line as he is in flight.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': '''''MUSIC?!'''''
:''[Cut to dining room, where Belle is seated at the end of a long table. Lumière is on the table and a spotlight shines on him.]''
:'''Lumière''': Ma chère, mademoiselle. It is with deepest pride pleasure and greatest pride that I welcome you tonight. And now, we invite you to relax. Let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents...your dinner. ''[singing]'' Be our guest, be our guest / Put our service to the test, tie your napkin 'round your neck, chérie and we provide the rest! ''[The chair has wrapped a napkin around the neck of Belle, who takes it off and places it on her lap. The chair's arms put it's hands on it's 'waist' as if it were mad.]'' Soup du jour, hot hors d'oeuvres / Why we only live to serve / Try the grey stuff, it's delicious / Don't believe me? Ask the dishes! ''[Lumière offers Belle a plate of hors d'oeuvres. She dips her finger in one, and tastes it.]'' They can sing, they can dance / After all, miss, this is France! / And a dinner here is never second best! / Go on unfold your menu, take a glance and then you'll / Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest! ''[A cabinet at the end of the table opens to reveal a large China collection, which rolls out and begins to perform. Lumière hands Belle a menu, which she begins to read.]'' Beef ragout, cheese soufflé, Pie and pudding en flambé! / We'll prepare and serve with flair / A culinary cabaret! ''[plates of food go dancing by, with Cogsworth in the pudding. Lumière sets his torch to it, and it explodes, turning Cogsworth's face black with soot.]'' You're alone and you're scared, But the banquet's all prepared! / No one's gloomy or complaining, / While the flatware's entertaining! ''[The flatware enters a 'Busby Berkley-esque' swimming scene.]'' We tell jokes, I do tricks / With my fellow candlesticks ''[Lumière, standing on a plate, is elevated and begins to juggle his candles. Mugs enter the shot.]''
:'''Mugs''': And it's all in perfect taste / That you can bet!!! ''[The Mugs begin a gymnastics routine, hopping over one another and passing a beverage from one to the next]''
:'''All''': Come on and lift your glass, You've won your own free pass / To be our guest, be our guest, be our guest!
:'''Lumière''': If you're stressed, it's fine dining we suggest!
:'''All''': Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest!
:''[All leave except Cogsworth, who looks scared, then begins to inch away. Lumière enters and holds him there.]''
:'''Lumière''': Life is so unnerving, For a servant who's not serving! / He's not whole without a soul to wait upon
:'''Cogsworth''': Get off!
:'''Lumière''': Ah, those good old days when we were useful
:'''Cogsworth''': Huh? Oh! 
:'''Lumière''': Suddenly, those good old days are gone. 
:''[Lumière sings as if he were reminiscing. Snow begins to fall. Cogsworth looks up and sees the salt and pepper shakers doing their thing.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': Ohh.
:'''Lumière''': 10 years we've been rustin' / Needin' so much more than dustin' / Needin' exercise, a chance to use our skills! 
:'''Cogsworth''': Yaaaaaooo… 
:''[Lumière dusts the salt of the head of Cogsworth, who tries to escape. He tripsand falls into the gelatin mold.]''
:'''Lumière''': Most days just lay around the castle.
:'''Cogsworth''': Ngngngngh!
:'''Lumière''': Flabby fat and lazy / You walked in, and oops-a-daisie! 
:'''Cogsworth''': Whoa!
:''[Lumière jumps on a spoon in the gelatin, which catapults Cogsworth out of the mold. Cut to kitchen, where Mrs. Potts is surrounded by soap bubbles.]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': It's a guest, it's a guest! Sakes alive, well I'll be blessed! Wine's been poured and thank the Lord I've had the napkins freshly pressed! ''[Mrs. Potts continues to dance around the kitchen]'' With dessert, she'll want tea, And my dear, that's fine with me! While the cups do their soft shoein', I'll be bubblin', I'll be brewin'! I'll get warm, pipin' hot Heaven's sake, is that a spot? Clean it up, we want the company impressed! We've got a lot to do-- Is it one lump or two? For you our guest! ''[Mrs. Potts is cleaned off by a napkin. She hops onto the tea cart and rolls into the dining room, where she offers tea to Belle.]''
:'''All''': She's our guest!
:'''Mrs. Potts''': She's our guest!
:'''All''': She's our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! Our command is your request!
:'''Cogsworth''': Let's go, people. Fun's over. Over here. Line up. Aaaaaaah!
:'''All''': It's ten years since we had anybody here and we're obsessed! With your meal, with your ease, / Yes indeed, we aim to please / While the candlelight's still glowin' / Let us help you, we'll keep going!
:''[The [[China]] and candlesticks perform an elaborately choreographed dance sequence, ending in a closeup of Lumière.]''
:'''Lumière and All''': Course, by course / One by one / Til you shout &quot;Enough, I'm done!&quot; / Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest. Tonight you'll prop your feet up, But for let's eat up, Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! Please, '''BE...''' '''''OUR... &lt;big&gt;GUUUUUUUEEEEEEST!!!!!!&lt;/big&gt;'''''
:''[A fantastic ending comes of the song, with silverware flying through the air, plates and Featherdusters dancing, and Cogsworth the focus of attention, until Lumière comes sliding in and sends him flying out of camera range.]''
:'''Belle''': Bravo! That was wonderful!
:'''Cogsworth''': Thank you, thank you, mademoiselle. Yes, good show, wasn't it everyone. ''[Looking at his own face]'' Oh, my goodness, will you look at the time. Now, it's off to bed, off to bed!
:''[Lumière comes up next to Cogsworth.]''
:'''Belle''': Oh, I couldn't possibly go to bed now. It's my first time in an enchanted castle.
:'''Cogsworth''': Enchanted? Who said anything about the castle being enchanted? ''[He tries to cover it up, just as a fork runs past. To Lumière]''
:'''Cogsworth''': It was you, wasn't it!
:'''Belle''': I, um, figured it out for myself.
:''[Cogsworth and Lumière have been fighting. They both look at her, then stop. Cogsworth dusts himself off, and Lumière fixes his wax nose.]''
:'''Belle''': I'd like to look around, if that's all right.
:'''Lumière''': ''[excited]'' Oh! Would you like a tour?
:'''Cogsworth''': Wait a second, wait a second. I'm not sure that's such a good idea. ''[Confidentially, to Lumière]'' We can't let her go poking around in certain places, if you know what I mean.
:'''Belle''': ''[Poking Cogsworth in the belly (like the Pillsbury doughboy)]'' Perhaps you could take me. I'm sure you know everything there is to know about the castle.
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[flattered]'' Well, actually, ah yes, I do!
:''[Fade to Cogsworth, Lumière, and Belle walking down a hall with Sultan. Cogsworth is lecturing.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': As you can see, the pseudo façade was stripped away to reveal a minimalist rococo design. Note the unusual inverted vaulted ceilings. This is yet another example of the neo-classic baroque period, and as I always say, if it's not baroque, don't fix it! Ha ha ha. Now then, where was I? ''[He turns to find the heads of the suits of armor have turned to follow Belle.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': As you were! ''[They all snap back to face forward.]'' Now, if I may draw your attention to the flying buttresses above the--mademoiselle?
:''[Cogsworth turns back to the group and is one girl short. He sees her beginning to climb the grand staircase. He and Lumière run up to her and jump in front of her, blocking her progress upstairs.]''
:'''Belle''': What's up there?
:'''Cogsworth''': Where? Up there? Nothing. Absolutely nothing of interest at all in the West Wing. Dusty, dull, very boring. ''[Lumière has been shaking his head, but Cogsworth nudges him and he nods in agreement.]''
:'''Belle''': Oh, so that's the West Wing.
:'''Lumière''': ''[To Cogsworth]'' Nice going!
:'''Belle''': I wonder what he's hiding up there.
:'''Lumière''': Hiding? The master is hiding nothing!
:'''Belle''': Then it wouldn't be forbidden.
:''[She steps over them, but they dash up and block her again.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': Perhaps mademoiselle would like to see something else. We have exquisite tapestries dating all the way back to...
:'''Belle''': ''[again stepping over them]'' Maybe later.
:'''Lumière''': ''[with Cogsworth, again dashing and blocking]'' The gardens, or the library perhaps?
:'''Belle''': ''[Now, with incredible interest]'' You have a library?
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[Thrilled that he has found something to interest her]'' Oh. yes! Indeed!
:'''Lumière''': With books!
:'''Cogsworth''': Gads of books!
:'''Lumière''': Mountains of books!
:'''Cogsworth''': Forests of books!
:'''Lumière''': Cascades...
:'''Cogsworth''': ...of books!
:'''Lumière''': Swamps of books!
:'''Cogsworth''': More books than you'll ever be able to read in a lifetime! Books on every subject ever studied, by every author who ever set pen to paper...
:''[Lumière and Cogsworth begin marching off, and Belle begins to follow, but her curiosity overtakes her, and she turns back to the West Wing. Her excitement begins to dwindle, though, when she enters the hallway leading to Beast's lair. As she walks down the hall, she stops to look in a mirror that has been shattered into several pieces, each one reflecting her concerned look. She reaches the end of the hall and finds a closed door with gargoyle handles. She takes a deep breath, then reaches out and opens the door. Inside the lair, where Belle begins to explore. She is truly shocked by everything she sees. She wanders around, looking, and knocks over a table, but she catches it before it crashes to the floor. She then turns her head and sees a shredded picture on the wall. We can only see part of a portrait. It is the same portrait that was shredded in the opening. Belle reaches out and lifts the shreds of the picture to reveal the prince. We never see this, however, for then she turns her head and sees the rose under the bell jar. She walks over to it, her eyes transfixes. She reaches out, then lifts off the jar, leaves the rose unprotected. She reaches up, brushes back the strand of hair that has been repeatedly falling on her forehead, then reaches out to touch the rose. As she nears it, a shadow falls over her and Belle gasps in shocked. Beast has been on the balcony, and sees her. He jumps back into the room, then slams the jar back on the rose. He then turns his attention to Belle]''
:'''Beast''': ''[growing angrily-ish]'' Why did you come here?
:'''Belle''': ''[backs away, scared]'' I'm-I'm sorry.
:'''Beast''': I warned you never to come here!
:'''Belle''': I didn't mean any harm.
:'''Beast''': ''[angrier]'' Do you realize what you could have done?!
:''[Beast begins to thrash at the furniture]''
:'''Belle''': ''[pleaders, but still scared]'' Please, stop!
:'''Beast''': ''[screaming]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''GET OUT!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Belle''': No!
:'''Beast''': ''[screaming]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''GEEET, OOOOOOUUUTT!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Belle turns and flees the room. Beast calms down, then falls into despair, finally realizes that he may have destroyed his chances with Belle. She reaches the stairway and grabs her cloak. She rushes down the stairs, wrapping the cloak around her and bursting past a confused Lumière and Cogsworth]''
:'''Lumière''': Where are you going?
:'''Belle''': Promise or no promise, I can't stay here another minute!
:'''Cogsworth''': Oh, no, wait, please! Please wait!
:''[Lumière tries to respond, but Belle slams the door behind her. He and Cogsworth both bow their heads in sadness. When Belle outside in the forest on Philippe. She begins to ride through the forest, but Philippe comes to a stop. She looks up and sees the wolves. She gasps, then pulls the reins and begins to flee. She runs from side to side, making the wolves hit the trees (a la Speederbike chase in '''[[w:Return of the Jedi|Return of the Jedi]]'''). Philippe runs out on a frozen pond, but his and Belle's weight collapse the ice. The wolves chase her into the water. Some begin to drown, but Philippe is able to get out of the water before anything serious happens. He runs into a clears, but becomes surrounded by wolves. He bucks, throws Belle off and wrapped the reins around a tree branch. The wolves begin their attack on Philippe, but Belle comes to his rescue and beats them away with a stick. One wolf grabs the stick in its mouth and breaks half of it off, leaves Belle defenseless. Another leaps at her, grabs the corner of her cloak and dragging her to the ground]''
:'''Belle''': &lt;big&gt;'''''NO!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt; ''[She looks up and sees a wolf about to jump on top of her. It leaps and is caught in mid-air by Beast. He throws the wolf away, then stands behind them and Belle. They lunge at each other. One rips a hole in Beast's shoulder, and the others focus their attack on that spot. Finally, Beast throws a wolf against a tree, knocks it out. The others turn and run in fear. Beast turns back to Belle, looks at her despairingly, then collapses. Belle, grateful to be alive, turns back to Philippe and begins to get on, but her conscience takes over, and she walks over to the fallen Beast. Fade to Belle and Philippe walking back to the castle, with Beast on the horse's back. Fade to inside the den, with Belle pouring hot water out of Mrs. Potts. She soaks a rag in the water, then turns to Beast, who is licking his wounds, dampening rag]'' Here, now. ''[sees the Beast licking the wound on his arm]'' Oh, don't do that. ''[the Beast backs away with a growl as the servants start to back away in fear]'' Just hold still. ''[places the rag on the Beast's wound; the Beast mighty roars in pain and the servants takes cover]''
:'''Beast''': &lt;big&gt;'''''THAT HURTS!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Belle''': If you'd hold still, it wouldn't hurt as much!
:'''Beast''': Well, if you hadn't have run away, this wouldn't have happened.
:'''Belle''': If you hadn't frightened me, I wouldn't have run away.
:'''Beast''': Well, ''you'' shouldn't have been in The West Wing!
:'''Belle''': Well, ''you'' should learn to control your temper. Now, hold still. This might sting a little.
:'''Beast''': Hmm? Mmm!
:'''Belle''': By the way, thank you, for saving my life.
:'''Beast''': You're welcome.
:''[The camera zooms out and we see the objects looking on with interest. Fade to Gaston's tavern, which is empty except for Gaston, LeFou and Monsieur D'Arque, who are all sitting at a table]''
:'''Monsieur D'Arque''': I don't usually leave the asylum in the middle of the night, but they said you'd make it worth my while. ''[Gaston pulls out a sack of gold and tosses it in front of him. He takes out a piece, scrapes it on his chin and continues]'' Aah, I'm listening.
:'''Gaston''': It's like this. I've got my heart set on marrying Belle, but she needs a little persuasion.
:'''LeFou''': ''[butting in]'' Turned him down flat!
:''[Gaston slams a beer mug on his head]''
:'''Gaston''': Everyone knows her father's a lunatic. He was in here tonight raving about a beast in a castle...
:'''Monsieur D'Arque''': Maurice is harmless.
:'''Gaston''': The point is, Belle would do anything to keep him from being locked up.
:'''LeFou''': Yeah, even marry him!
:''[Gaston gives him another threatening look, and he ducks back under the mug]''
:'''Monsieur D'Arque''': So you want me to throw her father in the asylum unless she agrees to marry you? ''[They both nod in agreement]'' Oh, that is despicable. I love it!
:''[Inside Belle's cottage, Maurice is packing to leave]''
:'''Maurice''': If no one will help me, then I'll go back alone. I don't care what it takes. I'll find that castle and somehow I'll get her out of there.
:''[Maurice leaves to go find Belle, Gaston and LeFou enter her house to look for him and Belle.]''
:'''Gaston''': Belle? Maurice?
:'''LeFou''': Oh, well. I guess it's not go to work, after all.
:'''Gaston''': ''[grabs LeFou by his collar and carries him out]'' They have to come back sometime. And when they do, we'll be ready for them. LeFou, ''[throws him into the pile of snow nearby]'' don't move from that spot, until Belle and her father come home. ''[leaves on a horse wagon]''
:'''LeFou''': But... But I... ''[hits a wood]'' Ah, nuts! ''[a snow falls on him]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Outside the castle. Belle is playing in the snow with Phillipe and Sultan. Beast, Cogsworth and Lumière watch from the balcony.]''
:'''Beast''': I've never felt this way about anyone. ''[Looks excited]'' I want to do something for her. ''[Looks discouraged.]'' But what?
:'''Cogsworth''': Well, there's the usual things--flowers, chocolates, promises you don't intend to keep...
:'''Lumière''': Ahh, no no. It has to be something very special. Something that sparks her inter--wait a minute.
:''[Cut to interior hallway leading to library. Beast and Belle are alone.]''
:'''Beast''': Belle, there's something I want to show you. ''[Begins to open the door, then stops.]'' But first, you have to close your eyes.
:''[She looks at him questioningly.]''
:'''Beast''': It's a surprise.
:''[Belle closes her eyes, and Beast waves his hand in front of her. Then he opens the door. He leads her in.]''
:'''Belle''': ''[Just as she enters the room]'' Can I open them?
:'''Beast''': No, no. Not yet. Wait here.
:''[Beast walks away to draw back the curtains. He does, and brilliant sunlight spills into the room. Belle flinches reflexively as the light hits her face.]''
:'''Belle''': Now can I open them?
:'''Beast''': All right. Now.
:''[Belle opens her eyes and the camera pulls back to reveal the gigantic library filled with books.]''
:'''Belle''': I can't believe it. I've never seen so many books in all my life!
:'''Beast''': You--you like it?
:'''Belle''': It's wonderful.
:'''Beast''': Then it's yours.
:'''Belle''': Oh, thank you so much.
:''[Cut to Belle and Beast in background, with Objects including Chip in foreground watching them.]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, would you look at that?
:'''Lumière''': Ha ha! I knew it would work.
:'''Chip''': What? What works?
:'''Cogsworth''': It's very encouraging.
:'''Featherduster''': Isn't this exciting!
:'''Chip''': I didn't see anything.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Come along, Chip. There's chores to be done in the kitchen.
:'''Chip''': But what are they talking about? What's going on?
:''[Objects walk away. Fade to breakfast table with Belle at one end and Beast at the other, with Mrs. Potts between them. Belle is served breakfast, and as she begins to eat, she looks at Beast, gobbling up his food with no table manners whatsoever. Chip laughs, but Mrs. Potts shoots him an admonishing look. Belle turns away and tries to ignore it, but Chip comes to the rescue. He nudges the spoon with his nose, and Beast reaches out for it (very 3-D-ishly). Belle looks at him in wonder as he tries to eat with the spoon, but he has little success. Finally, Belle puts down her spoon and lifts her bowl as if in a toast. Beast looks at the compromise and does the same. They both begin to sip their breakfast out of their bowls. Fade to courtyard where Belle and Beast are feeding the birds.]''
:'''Belle''': There's something sweet / And almost kind / But he was mean / And he was coarse and unrefined. But now he's dear / And so unsure, / I wonder why I didn't see it there before. ''[Belle is trying to attract some birds to Beast, who shoves a handful of seed at them. Finally, she takes a handful and gently spreads it out, creating a trail. One lands in his hands, and he looks up thrilled.]''
:'''Beast''': She glanced this way / I thought I saw / And when we touched / She didn't shudder at my paw / No, it can't be / I'll just ignore / But then she's never looked at me that way before. ''[Belle has ducked around a tree, leaving Beast with the birds. She begins to look doubtful again, but turns her head around the tree and laughs. Beast is covered with birds.]''
:'''Belle''': New, and a bit alarming / Who'd have ever thought that this could be? / True, that he's no Prince Charming / But there's something in him that I simply didn't see.
:''[Belle throws a snowball at Beast, who had looked at her proudly after the birds flew away. He begins to gather a large pile of snow. We cut to the Objects, looking out of a window at the two. In the background, Belle throws another snowball at Beast, who drops his huge pile of snow on his head. He chases her around a tree, but she ducks around the other side and sneaks up on him from behind.]''
:'''Lumière''': Well, who'd have thought?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Well, bless my soul.
:'''Cogsworth''': And who'd have known?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Well, who indeed?
:'''Lumière''': And who'd have guessed they'd come together on their own?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': It's so peculiar.
:'''All''': We'll wait and see / A few days more / There may be something there that wasn't there before.
:''[Fade to den where Belle sits in front of a roaring fire and reads to Beast. Objects including Chip watch from doorway]''
:'''Cogsworth''': Yes, perhaps there's something there that wasn't there before.
:'''Chip''': What?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': There may be something there that wasn't there before.
:'''Chip''': What's there, mama?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': I'll tell you when you're older.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Inside the Beast's lair. He is in the tub getting washed up for the big night with Belle. Lumière is there with him.]''
:'''Lumière''': Tonight is the night!
:'''Beast''': ''[hesitantly]'' I'm not sure I can do this.
:'''Lumière''': You don't have time to be timid. You must be bold, daring.
:'''Beast''': Bold. Daring. ''[Beast has emerged from the tub and shakes himself dry.]''
:'''Lumière''': There will be music. Romantic candlelight, provided myself, and when the time is right, you confess your love.
:'''Beast''': ''[Inspired]'' Yes, I -- I con--No, I can't.
:'''Lumière''': You care for the girl, don't you?
:'''Beast''': More than anything.
:'''Lumière''': Well then you must tell her. ''[Coatrack has been cutting Beast's hair. It finishes and steps back.]'' Voila. You look so...so... ''[Cut to shot of Beast in pig-tails and bows.]''
:'''Beast''': Stupid.
:'''Lumière''': Not quite the word I was looking for. Perhaps a little more off the top.
:''[Coatrack begins to cut and chop again. Cogsworth enters.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': Ahem ahem ahem. Your lady awaits.
:''[Cut to grand staircase, where Belle descends from the West Wing side in a glittering gold ball gown. She reaches the landing and looks up at Beast, who is standing at the top of the stairs in his dress clothes. He is nudged on by Lumière from behind the curtain, and he descends and meets Belle at the landing. Arm in arm, they descend the last section of stairs and continue on their way to dinner, stopped momentarily by Sultan. Mrs. Potts sings from her cart with Chip on board.]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Tale as old as time / True as it can be / Barely even friends / Then somebody bends / Unexpectedly / Just a little change / Small to say the least / Both a little scared / Neither one prepared / Beauty and the Beast ''[Belle and Beast have moved into the ballroom, where they move through a computer perfect dance sequence. Beast occasionally looks over at Lumière and Cogsworth for their approval. Mrs. Potts and Chip are in the ballroom on their cart.]'' Ever just the same / Ever a surprise / Ever as before, ever just as sure / As the sun will rise / Tale as old as time / Tune as old as song / Bittersweet and strange, / Finding you can change, learning you were wrong / Certain as the sun / Rising in the east / Tale as old as time, / Song as old as rhyme, beauty and the Beast. / Tale as old as time, / Song as old as rhyme, beauty and the Beast. ''[To Chip]'' Off to the cupboard with you now, Chip. It's past your bedtime. Good night, love. ''[Chip slides off the end of the cart, and hops out of the room, but comes back for one last look. Belle and Beast have adjourned to the balcony under a starry night.]''
:'''Beast''': Belle? Are you happy here with me?
:'''Belle''': ''[Hesitantly]'' Yes. ''[She looks off into the distance]''
:'''Beast''': What is it?
:'''Belle''': ''[Looks at him desperately]'' If only I could see my father again, just for a moment. I miss him so much.
:'''Beast''': ''[Looks disappointed for a moment, then excited.]'' There is a way. ''[The pair adjourn to Beast's lair, where Beast hands Belle the magic mirror.]'' This mirror will show you anything, anything you wish to see.
:'''Belle''': ''[Hesitantly]'' I'd like to see my father, please. ''[The magic mirror shines into life, and Belle turns her head away as it flashes. Then it reveals Maurice fallen in the woods, coughing and lost. Belle is shocked. Beast looks at her with concern.]'' Papa. Oh, no. He's sick, he may be dying. And he's all alone. ''[Beast turns, then looks at the rose, deep in thought.]''
:'''Beast''': Then...then you must go to him.
:'''Belle''': What did you say?
:'''Beast''': I release you. You're no longer my prisoner.
:'''Belle''': You mean...I'm free?
:'''Beast''': Yes.
:'''Belle''': Oh, thank you. Hold on, Papa. I’m on my way.
:'''Beast''': Take it with you so you'll always have a way to look back and remember me.
:'''Belle''': Thank you for understanding how much he needs me. ''[Belle turns to leave and Beast looks down in depression. She touches her hand to his cheek and rushes out. We see Belle's skirt fly past Cogsworth, who has entered the room.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': Well, your highness I have to say that everything it's going great I knew that she was capable.
:'''Beast''': I let her go.
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[chuckles]'' Yes, yes. Splen-- ''[realizes what the Beast just said]'' You what? How could you do that?
:'''Beast''': I had to.
:'''Cogsworth''': Yes, but why?
:'''Beast''': Because... I love her.
:''[Cut to Cogsworth telling the rest of the Objects about Beast's decision.]''
:'''All''': ''[except Cogsworth]'' He did '''''WHAT?!'''''
:'''Cogsworth''': Yes, I'm afraid it's true.
:'''Chip:''' She's going away?
:'''Lumière''': But he was so close.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': After all this time, he's finally learned to love.
:'''Lumière''': That's it, then. That should break the spell.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': But it's not enough. She has to love him in return.
:'''Cogsworth''': And now it's too late.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Cut to Beast watching Belle leave from above. He roars in sorrow and anger. His roar turns into the sound of the wind. Belle is out in the snow.]''
:'''Belle''': Papa? Papa? ''[gasps]''
:''[Finally, she finds him face down in a snowbank. They return home, where LeFou is still waiting, disguised as a snowman.]''
:'''LeFou''': Oh, they're back.
:''[Cut to black. POV of Maurice as his eyes open. He sees Belle.]''
:'''Maurice''': Belle?
:'''Belle''': It's all right, Papa. I'm home.
:'''Maurice''': I thought I'd never see you again.
:'''Belle''': I missed you so much.
:'''Maurice''': But the Beast. How did you escape?
:'''Belle''': I didn't escape, Papa. He let me go.
:'''Maurice''': That horrible Beast?
:'''Belle''': But he's different, now. He's changed somehow.
:''[There is a sound coming from Belle's pack. The flap opens and the magic mirror falls out with Chip rolling to a stop on it.]''
:'''Chip''': Hi!
:'''Belle''': Oh, a stowaway.
:'''Maurice''': Why, hello there, little fella. Didn't think I'd ever see you again. ''[Chip turns to Belle with a look of question on his face.]''
:'''Chip''': Belle, why'd you go away? Don't you like us anymore?
:'''Belle''': Oh, Chip. Of course I do. It's just that--
:''[There is a knocking at the door. Belle opens it and Monsieur D'Arque stands on the porch.]''
:'''Belle''': May I help you?
:'''Monsieur D'Arque''': I've come to collect your father.
:'''Belle''': My father?
:'''Monsieur D'Arque''': Don't worry, mademoiselle. We'll take good care of him.
:'''Belle''': My father's not crazy.
:'''LeFou''': He was raving like a lunatic. We all heard him, didn't we!
:'''Bystanders''': Yes!
:'''Belle''': No, I won't let you.
:'''Maurice''': Belle?
:'''LeFou''': Maurice. Tell us again, old man, just how big was the Beast?
:'''Maurice''': Well, he was... that is... enormous. I'd say at least eight, no more like ten feet.
:'''LeFou''': Well, you don't get much crazier than that.
:'''Maurice''': It's true, I tell you!
:'''LeFou''': Get him out of here!
:'''Maurice''': Let go of me!
:'''Belle''': No, you can't do this!
:'''Gaston''': Poor Belle. It's a shame about your father.
:'''Belle''': You know he's not crazy, Gaston.
:'''Gaston''': Hmm. I think I might be able to clear up this little misunderstanding, if...
:'''Belle''': If what?
:'''Gaston''': If you marry me.
:'''Belle''': What?
:'''Gaston''': One little word, Belle. That's all it takes.
:'''Belle''': Never!
:'''Gaston''': Have it your way.
:'''Maurice''': Belle? Let go of me!
:'''Belle''': My father's not crazy and I can prove it! Show me the Beast!
:'''Woman #1''': Is it dangerous?
:'''Belle''': Oh, no, no. He'd never hurt anyone. Please, I know he looks vicious, but he's really kind and gentle. He's my friend.
:'''Gaston''': If I didn't know better, I'd think you had feelings for this monster.
:'''Belle''': He's no monster, Gaston. You are!
:'''Gaston''': She's as crazy as the old man! The Beast will make off with your children! He'll come after them in the night!
:'''Belle''': No!
:'''Gaston''': We're not safe until his head is mounted on my wall! I say we kill the Beast!
:''[Mob cheers him and repeats the words 'kill him'.]''
:'''Man #1''': We're not safe until he's dead.
:'''Man #2''': He'll come stalkin' us at night!
:'''Woman #1''': Set to sacrifice our children to his monstrous appetite!
:'''Man #3''': He'll wreak havoc on our village / If we let him wander free.
:'''Gaston''': So, it's time, to take some action, boys, it's tiiime, tooo, folloooww, meeeeee!!!!!! ''[Gaston throws a torch into a haystack, creating an instant bonfire. He begins to prance around it, warning of the dangers of the horrible Beast.]'' Through the mist, through the woods / Through the darkness and the shadows / It's a nightmare but it's one exciting ride. / Say a prayer, then we're there / At the drawbridge of a castle, And there's something truly terrible inside. ''[Gaston chases LeFou around, mimicking a monster.]'' It's a Beast, He's got fangs, razor sharp ones / Massive paws, Killer claws for the feast ''[Magic mirror shows the face of Beast to LeFou, which Gaston exaggerates about.]'' Hear him roar, see him foam, But we're not comin' home, Until he's dead / Good and dead, kill the Beast!
:'''Belle''': ''[Interjecting]'' No, I won't let you do this.
:'''Gaston''': If you're not with us, you're against us. Bring the old man. ''[Gaston is snatched the mirror and clutches the pants]''
:'''Maurice''': Get your hands off me! ''[Gaston throws them into the basement and bolts the door.]''
:'''Gaston''': We can't have them runnin' off to warn the creature!
:'''Belle''': &lt;big&gt;'''''LET US OUT!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Gaston''': ''[To the crowd]'' We'll rid the village of this Beast. '''''Who's with me?''''' 
:''[A chorus of &quot;I am&quot;s comes from the crowd]''
:'''Mob''': Light your torch, mount your horse!
:'''Gaston''': Screw your courage to the sticking place
:'''Mob''': We're countin' on Gaston to lead the way! Through a mist, to a wood, Where within a haunted castle, Something's lurking that you don't see every day! ''[Gaston leads the Mob through the town and out into the forest, where they start chopping trees in preparation for their assault on the castle.]'' It's a Beast, One as tall as a mountain! We won't rest / Until he's good and deceased! Sally forth, tally ho, Grab your sword, grab your bow / Praise the Lord and here we go!
:'''Gaston''': &lt;big&gt;'''''WE'LL LAY SIEGE TO HIS CASTLE AND BRING BACK HIS HEAD!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Cut to interior of basement, where Belle is prying at the window with a stick.]''
:'''Belle''': I have to warn the Beast. This is all my fault. Oh, Papa. What are we going to do?
:'''Maurice''': ''[Comforting her]'' Now, now. We'll think of something. ''[We see Chip looking in through the window. He turns around, thinking, and then he sees Maurice's contraption with the axe on the end of it.]''
:'''Mob''': We don't like, what we don't / Understand, it frankly scares us / And this monster is mysterious at least! Bring your guns, bring your knives, Save your children and your wives, We'll save our village and our lives, We'll kill the Beast!
:'''Cogsworth''': I knew it, I knew it was foolish to get our hopes up.
:'''Lumière''': Maybe it would have been better if she had never come at all. ''[Sultan comes in barking. They rush over to the window expecting the return of Belle.]'' Could it be?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Is it she?
:'''Lumière''': ''[Realizing the Mob is not Belle]'' Sacre bleu, invaders!
:'''Cogsworth''': Encroachers!
:'''Mrs. Potts''': ''[Seeing Gaston]'' And they have the mirror!
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[Issuing orders]'' Warn the master. If it's a fight they want, we'll be ready for them. ''[Turns around from window]'' Who's with me? Aahh!
:''[The door is slammed as the rest of the Objects leave Cogsworth behind.]''
:'''Gaston''': Take whatever booty you can find, but remember, the Beast is mine!
:''[Cut to stairway, where Objects are marching down to do battle with the Mob.]''
:'''Objects''': Hearts ablaze, banners high! We go marching into battle, Unafraid, although the danger just increased!
:'''Mob''': Raise the flag, sing the song / Here we come, we're fifty strong, and 50 Frenchmen can't be wro-o-o-ong, Let's kill the Beast!
:''[Cut to interior of Beast's lair, where Mrs. Potts is briefing him.]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Pardon me, master.
:'''Beast''': Leave me in peace.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': But sir, the castle is under attack!
:'''Mob''': Kill the Beast, kill the Beast!
:''[The Objects have tried to block off the door, but it is being bashed in by the Mob.]''
:'''Lumière''': This isn't working!
:'''Featherduster''': Oh, Lumière! We must do something!
:'''Lumière''': Wait! I know!
:'''Mob''': Kill the Beast, kill the Beast!
:''[Cut to Beast's lair]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': What shall we do, master?
:'''Beast''': ''[Still very sad]'' It doesn't matter now. Just let them come.
:'''Mob''': Kill the Beast, kill the Beast, kill the Beast!! ''[The Mob succeeds in breaking in, and finds a grand entrance filled with assorted pieces of furniture, teacups, candlesticks, Featherdusters and clocks. They tiptoe in, and LeFou unknowingly picks up Lumière.]''
:'''Lumière''': '''''NOW!!!''''' ''[All the Objects spring into life, attacking their human enemies. Cut back to Belle's home, where Chip has readied the invention with purple smoke.]''
:'''Chip''': Yes! Here we go! 
:''[Chip has a rise in Maurice's invention with a violin sounds louder. Maurice looks out from the window and sees the advancing axe.]''
:'''Maurice''': What the devil? Belle, look out!
:''[The invention crashes into the door, and a red cloud of smoke poofs out of the basement. Belle and Maurice emerge from the wreckage to find Chip swinging on a loose spring.]''
:'''Chip''': You guys gotta try this thing.
:''[Cut back to the castle where the attack continues.]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Up here, you scurvy scum! Now! ''[She and all the cups pour boiling tea on the guy's head.]''
:''[Cut back to the castle where the attack continues. Meanwhile, Gaston has broken off from the Mob, and is searching out Beast. Belle, Maurice, Philippe and Chip are making their way to the castle. Finally, the invaders (a la Invaders storm in '''[[w:Willow (1988 film)|Willow]]''').]''
:'''Stove''': Roaaaar!
:'''Tom, Stanley and LeFou''': '''AAAAAAAAH!!'''
:'''LeFou''': Move, move, move, move!
:''[They are chased out and the Objects celebrate their victory.]''
:'''Cogsworth''': And stay out! ''[Lumière pulls over Cogsworth and kisses him once on each cheek. Cogsworth shakes it off.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Cut to Gaston, who finds Beast's lair. He raises his crossbow and takes aim. Beast looks up at him, then looks back down in sadness again. Gaston releases the arrow and it strikes Beast in the shoulder. He screams in pain and stands. Gaston rushes him and they fly out the window onto the balcony, where it has begun to rain.]''
:'''Gaston''': Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! ''[Gaston corners Beast on the edge of the roof. Beast simply sits there in despair.]'' Get up! Get up! What's the matter, Beast? Too kind and gentle to fight back?
:''[Beast looks down ignoring him. Gaston walks into the foreground and breaks off a piece of the roof. He is about to smash it on Beast's head when Belle's voice drifts up. She is on the bridge and is yelling to Gaston, telling him to stop.]''
:'''Belle''': No!
:'''Beast''': Belle.
:'''Belle''': No, Gaston, don't! Let's go, Philippe.
:'''Gaston''': ''[to Beast]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''COME ON, OUT AND FIGHT?!'''''&lt;/big&gt; We're you in love with her, Beast? '''''DID YOU HONESTLY THINK SHE'D WANT YOU WHEN SHE HAD SOMEONE LIKE ME?!'''''
:''[The Beast has been provoked enough. He emerges and they fight again]''
:'''Gaston''': It's over, Beast! '''''BELLE IS MINE!!'''''
:''[The Beast and Gaston are fighting on top of the castle; the Beast strikes at him, grabs him and holds him over the edge]''
:'''Gaston''': ''[last words]'' Let me go, let me go! Please... don't hurt me! I'll do anything! '''''ANYTHING!!!!'''''
:''[The Beast glares with fury, then his anger slowly melts as he realizes that Gaston's what he could've become. He pulls Gaston back in and close to his face]''
:'''Beast''': ''[in a calm, but tranquil fury manner]'' Get out. ''[shoves Gaston to the ground]''
:'''Belle''': ''[comes out on the balcony]'' Beast!
:'''Beast''': Belle. ''[begins to climb the tower until he reaches the balcony. He hangs over the side]'' Belle? ''[they reached their hands as they reunite]'' You came back.
:''[The Beast and Belle stare passionately at each other, but the moment is interrupted when Gaston sneaks up and stubs the Beast in the back with a knife. The Beast roars in pain and Gaston pulls the knife out and swings back for another shot. The Beast starts to fall, knocks over Gaston off his balances. Belle reaches forward and pulls the Beast back, while Gaston falls off into the castle moats to his deaths with a scream. Belle helps the injured Beast up onto the balcony, where he lies down on the floor. The servants come rushing out but stay out of sight. The Beast lays dying with Belle at his side; meanwhile, the rose is down to its last petal, weakly]'' 
:'''Beast''': You... You came back.
:'''Belle''': Of course, I came back. I couldn't let them.... ''[hugs the Beast]'' Oh, this is all my fault. If only I'd gotten here sooner.
:'''Beast''': Maybe it's better...it's better this way.
:'''Belle''': Don't talk like that. You'll be all right. We're together now. Everything's going to be fine. You'll see.
:'''Beast''': ''[last words; reaches up and touches Belle's cheek]'' At least...I got to see you...1 last time. ''[his paw falls and his eyes close as he dies]''
:'''Belle''': ''[gasps]'' No. No. Please. Please. Please don't leave me. ''[sobs]'' I love you. ''[The last petal falls away, leaving Cogsworth, Lumière, and Mrs. Potts distraught; suddenly, a magical shower falls around the Beast and Belle, and the Beast rises into the air, turning into a human prince Adam, whose name was Prince Adam; then, he lands on the ground and when he gets up, he turns toward Belle]''
:'''Prince Adam''': Belle... it's me.
:'''Belle''': ''[looks into his eyes and recognizes him from the portrait]'' It ''is'' you!
:''[They kiss, a fireworks display explodes around them. The gloom surrounding, the castle disappears, revealing a blue sky]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Last lines; The castle is transformed, with the gargoyles changing into cherubs. Finally, we return to the balcony, where the servants hop out to meet Prince Adam and Belle. One by one, they are transformed back to their original human conditions]''
:'''Prince Adam''': Lumiere! Cogsworth! Oh, Mrs. Potts! Look at us! ''[Chip comes riding in on Footstool]''
:'''Chip''': Mama! Mama! ''[The pair transforms back into a boy and dog]''
:'''Mrs. Potts''': ''[Picking up her boy]'' Oh, my goodness!
:'''Lumière''': It is a miracle! 
:'''Belle''': How wonderful! ''[Prince Adam picks up Belle and swings her around. The ruffles of her skirt wipe to the ballroom, where all are gathered to celebrate, Prince Adam and Belle dance around the room as the rest at the characters]''
:'''Lumière''': Ah, l'amour. ''[Lumière says this, and a maid, obviously the former Featherduster walks by, brushing him on the chin; chuckles, starts to chase after her, but Cogsworth stops him]''
:'''Cogsworth''': Well, Lumiere, old friend. Shall we let bygones be bygones?
:'''Lumière''': Of course, mon ami. I told you she would break the spell.
:'''Cogsworth''': I beg your pardon, old friend, but I believe I told you.
:'''Lumière''': No, you didn't. I told you.
:'''Cogsworth''': You most certainly did not, you pompous paraffin-headed pea-brain!
:'''Lumière''': En garde, you overgrown pocket watch! ''[Lumière takes off his glove and slaps Cogsworth across the face with it. They begin to fight. Cut to Belle and Prince Adam who continue to dance around the floor. The camera stops on Mrs. Potts, Chip and Maurice, who is beginning to crying]''
:'''Chip''': Are they going to live happily ever after, Mama?
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Of course, my dear. Of course.
:'''Chip''': ''[tiny pauses]'' Do I still have to sleep in the cupboard? ''[Maurice laughs and Mrs. Potts hugs her child and laughs. Cut to a camera looking over the entire ballroom with all in the shot. It slowly zooms out with Belle and Prince Adam dancing around the room, and fades into the final stained glass window, this one with Belle and Prince Adam in the center, surrounded by the rest of the characters]''
:'''Chorus''': Certain as the sun / Rising in the east / Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme / Beauty and the beast!| Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme / Beauty and the beast!

===Special Edition Release===
:'''Cogsworth''': Right then! You all know why we're here. We have exactly 12 hours, 36 minutes, and 15 seconds to create the most magical, spontaneous, romantic atmosphere known to man or beast. ''[Chuckles weakly]'' &quot;Or beast..&quot; Right. Need I remind you that if the last petal falls from this rose, the spell will never be broken! Very well. You all know your assignments. Half of you to the West Wing, half of you to the East Wing, the rest of you, come with me.
:'''Lumière''': Hoho, lighten up Cogsworth, and let nature take its course.
:'''Mrs. Potts''': It's obvious there's a spark between them.
:'''Cogsworth''': Yes yes yes... But there's no harm in fanning the flames. You know, a little. Besides, they must fall in love tonight if we ever expect to be human again.
:'''Lumière''': Aaah...human again...
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Human again...
:'''Lumière''': Yes, think what that means... ''[singing]'' I'll be cooking again, be good-looking again, With a mademoiselle on each arm / When I'm human again, only human again / Poised and polish and gleaming with charm / I'll be courting again, chic and sporting again
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Which should cause several husbands alarm
:'''Lumière''': ''(Ha, ha!)'' I'll hop down off this shelf, and tout de suite be myself,
:'''Lumière, Mrs. Potts and Cogsworth''': I can't wait to be human again
:'''Essentials''': When we're human again, only human again / When we're knickknacks and whatnots no more / When we're human again, good and human again
:'''Wardrobe''': O, chérie, won't it all be top drawer? I'll wear lipstick and rouge / And I won't be so huge / Why, I'll easily fit through that door / I'll exude savoir faire / I'll wear gowns, I'll have hair / It's my prayer to be human again
:'''Mrs. Potts and Cogsworth''': When we're human again, only human again / When the world once more starts making sense
:'''Cogsworth''': I'll unwind, for a change
:'''Lumière''': Really? That'd be strange
:'''Cogsworth''': Can I help it if I'm t-t-tense? In a shack by the sea, I'll sit back, sipping tea Let my early retirement commence Far from fools made of wax, I'll get down to brass tacks and real-A-A-A-x!
:'''Chorus''': When I'm human again! So sweep the dust from the floor / Let's let some light in the room / I can feel, I can tell someone might break the spell any day now / Shine up the brass on the door / Alert the dust pail and broom / If it all goes as planned our time may be at hand any day now
:'''Fifi and the maids''': Open the shutters and let in some air
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Put these here and put those over there
:'''Chorus''': Sweep up the years, the sadness and tears and throw them away / We'll be human again, only human again / When the girl finally sets us all free / Cheeks a-blooming again, we're assuming again / We'll resume our long-lost joie de vivre / We'll be playing again, holidaying again / And we're praying it's ASAP / Little push, little shove / They could both fall in love / And we'll finally be human again...
:''[Transition to the library]''
:'''Belle''': &quot;...For there never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo.&quot;
:'''Beast''': Could you read it again?
:'''Belle''': Well, here. Why don't you read it to me?
:'''Beast''': Uhhh...Alright. Hmm...I-I can't.
:'''Belle''': You mean you never learned?
:'''Beast''': I learned, a little. It's just been so long.
:'''Belle''': Well here, I'll help you. Let's start...here.
:'''Beast''': Here, twoe...?
:'''Belle''': Two.
:'''Beast''': Two, I knew that. Two households, both alike in dignity...
:''[sung]''
:'''Chorus''': We'll be dancing again, we'll be twirling again / We'll whirling around with such ease / When we're human again, only human again / We'll go waltzing those old one-two-threes / We'll be floating again, we'll be gliding again /Stepping, striding, as fine as you please / Like a real human does, I'll be all that I was / On that glorious morn, when we're finally re-born / And we're all of us human again!

==CELINE DION &amp; PEABO BRYSON lyrics (Beauty and the Beast)==
:'''Celine Dion''': Ooh, ooh / Tale as old as time / True as it can be / Barely even friends / Then somebody bends / Unexpectedly
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Just a little change / Small, to say the least / Both a little scared / Neither one prepared
:'''Celine Dion &amp; Peabo Bryson''': Beauty and the beast / Ever just the same / Ever a surprise / Ever as before / Ever just as sure / As the sun will rise
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Whoa, whoa-oh, whoa, oh
:'''Celine Dion''': Ohh, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh
:'''Celine Dion &amp; Peabo Bryson''': Ever just the same
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Yeah / Ever a surprise
:'''Celine Dion &amp; Peabo Bryson''': Ever as before
:'''Celine Dion''': Ever just as sure
:'''Celine Dion &amp; Peabo Bryson''': As the sun will rise
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Oh, oh, oh
:'''Celine Dion''': Tale as old as time
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Ooh-ooh, ohh-ooh
:'''Celine Dion''': Tune as old as song
:'''Celine Dion &amp; Peabo Bryson''': Bittersweet and strange / Finding you can change / Learning you were wrong
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Certain as the sun
:'''Celine Dion''': Certain as the sun
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Rising in the east
:'''Celine Dion''': Tale as old as time
:'''Celine Dion &amp; Peabo Bryson''': Song as old as rhyme / Beauty and the beast
:'''Celine Dion''': Tale as old as time
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Song as old as rhyme
:'''Celine Dion &amp; Peabo Bryson''': Beauty and the beast
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Oh Oh, whoa-oh
:'''Celine Dion''': Ooh / Beauty and the beast

== About ''Beauty and the Beast (1991 film)'' ==
* Well, originally when we were planning the big elaborate dance sequence that would include a moving camera craning up to the ceiling on the characters that would really have more of a live action feel to them—there was always this nagging doubt in our minds that it wasn't going to work at all (laughs). We had sort of a back-up plan just in case, if none of this works we'll just turn off all the lights and Bella and the Beast will be dancing in a little spotlight in a darkened room like an ice skating show (laughs). Fortunately, when we got the first piece of test film back, it was amazingly breathtaking, made a big sigh of relief because we knew it was going to work.
* We actually designed all the camera movement first and animated the characters to match that.
* We created computer generated stand-ins, the ballroom was sort of a chicken-wire kind of thing and Bella &amp; the Beast were represented by these box and egg sort of things.
* You have to make all the same decisions that a live action director would have to make. Everything from where to put the camera to what the emotional tone of the scene is going to be, in addition to answering all the questions about costume design and weather and color and all the numerous elements that go into making the scene. We're there every step of the way from the very first crude character designs and early storyboards to how loud the footsteps of the Beast should be as he's walking across the marble floor. We shepherd the process from beginning to end.
** [[w:Kirk Wise|Kirk Wise]] [http://www.bigmoviezone.com/articles/index.html?uniq=84]

== Cast (voices) ==
* [[w:Paige O'Hara|Paige O'Hara]] – B. la Belle the Beauty
* [[w:Rex Everhart|Rex Everhart]] – Maurice
* [[w:Robby Benson|Robby Benson]] – Master B. le Bête the Beast/Prince Adam
* [[w:Richard White (actor)|Richard White]] – Gaston
* [[w:Jerry Orbach|Jerry Orbach]] – Monsieur Lumière the Candelabra
* [[w:David Ogden Stiers|David Ogden Stiers]] – Narrator, Sir Cogsworth the Clock
* [[w:Angela Lansbury|Angela Lansbury]] – Mrs. Potts the Teapot
* [[w:Mary Kay Bergman|Mary Kay Bergman]] – Claudette Bimbette, Laurette Bimbette
* [[w:Kath Soucie|Kath Soucie]] – Paulette Bimbette
* [[w:Jesse Corti|Jesse Corti]] – Monsieur LeFou
* [[w:Bradley Pierce|Bradley Pierce]] – Chip Potts the Teacup
* [[w:Kimmy Robertson|Kimmy Robertson]] – Fifi Plumette Featherduster
* [[w:Hal Smith|Hal Smith]] – Philippe B. the Horse
* [[w:Jack Angel|Jack Angel]] – Tavern Man, Tom
* [[w:Philip Proctor|Phil Proctor]] – Dick
* [[w:Bill Farmer|Bill Farmer]] – Stanley
* [[w:Patrick Pinney|Patrick Pinney]] – Walter
* Mickie McGowan – French Peasant Woman
* Carole Jeghers – Woman holding the baby

== External links ==
{{wikipedia|Beauty and the Beast (1991 film)}}
* {{imdb title|id=0101414|title=Beauty and the Beast}}

{{Disney's Beauty and the Beast}}
{{Authority control}}
[[Category:Beauty and the Beast (franchise)]]
[[Category:1991 animated films]]
[[Category:1991 American animated films]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated films]]
[[Category:American animated romance films]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical films]]
[[Category:American children's films]]
[[Category:Gary Trousdale films]]
[[Category:Kirk Wise films]]
[[Category:Screenplays by Joe Ranft]]
[[Category:United States National Film Registry films]]
[[Category:Animated films about princesses]]
[[Category:Animated films set in castles]]
[[Category:Disney Princess films]]
[[Category:Animated films about father–daughter relationships]]
[[Category:Animated films about shapeshifting]]
[[Category:Disney Renaissance]]
[[Category:Films about animal rights]]
[[Category:Best Original Song Academy Award winners]]
[[Category:Best Original Score Academy Award winners]]
[[Category:1990s English-language films]]
[[Category:Films about princes]]
[[Category:The Walt Disney Company]]</text>
      <sha1>o20btzbuazok47sphgevs25nusixe1c</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>James McNeill Whistler</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>16975</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944143</id>
      <parentid>3033198</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T08:43:15Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Surajr7</username>
        <id>2939733</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944143</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="17742" sha1="jmdd3da2sq5ypynyof7zx689mmq18oe" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Whistler Selbstporträt.jpg|thumb|'''James McNeill Whistler''', [[w:Self-portrait|Self-portrait]] (painted in 1872), quote of Whistler, undated: ''It takes a long time for a man to look like his portrait'']]
'''[[w:James McNeill Whistler|James Abbott McNeill Whistler]]''' ([[10 July]] [[1834]] – [[17 July]] [[1903]]) was an American-born, British-based painter and etcher. Finding a parallel between painting and music, Whistler entitled many of his paintings 'arrangements', 'harmonies', and 'nocturnes'.

== Quotes of James Whistler ==
:&lt;small&gt;'''sorted chronologically, by date of the quotes of James Whistler'''&lt;/small&gt;
[[File:James McNeill Whistler - The Thames in Ice - Google Art Project.jpg|thumb|right|Whistler, 1860: 'The Thames in Ice', oil on canvas]]
[[File:Brooklyn Museum - Rotherhithe - James Abbott McNeill Whistler.jpg|thumb|right|Whistler, c. 1860: 'Rotherhithe', etching on paper]]
[[File:James McNeill Whistler - La Princesse du pays de la porcelaine - Google Art Project edit2.jpg|thumb|right|Whistler, 1863-65: 'The Princess from the Land of Porcelain', oil on canvas]]
[[File:James McNeill Whistler - Valparaiso Harbor - Google Art Project.jpg|thumb|right|Whistler, 1866: 'Valparaiso Harbor', oil on canvas]]
[[File:Whistlers Mother high res.jpg|thumb|right|Whistler, Summer 1871: 'Anna McNeill Whistler' (his mother); oil on canvas]]
[[File:James Abbot McNeill Whistler 010.jpg|thumb|right|Whistler, 1871-74: 'Nocturne in Gray and Gold, Westminster Bridge', oil on canvas; quote of Whistler, 1878:'' 'Why should not I call my works 'symphonies', 'arrangements', 'harmonies', and 'nocturnes'?..' '']]
[[File:James Abbot McNeill Whistler 006.jpg|thumb|right|Whistler, 1872-75: 'Nocturne in Blue and Gold: Old Battersea Bridge', oil on canvas]]
[[File:Whistler-Nocturne in black and gold.jpg|thumb|right|Whistler, 1875: 'Nocturne in Black and Gold: The Falling Rocket', oil on panel]]
[[File:The Bathing Posts, Brittany by James McNeill Whistler, 1893.jpg|thumb|right|Whistler, 1893: 'The Bathing Posts, Brittany', oil on wood]]
[[File:James McNeill Whistler - Harmony in Blue and Gold - The Little Blue Girl.jpg|thumb|right|Whistler, 1894-1902: 'Harmony in Blue and Gold - The Little Blue Girl', oil on canvas]]

* “The story of the beautiful,” said Whistler, with the swagger that made all but his contemporaries love him, “is already complete—hewn in the marbles of the Parthenon, and broidered, with the birds, upon the fan of Hokusai—at the foot of Fuji-yama.”
**as quoted in Will Durant, Our oriental heritage.

=== 1870 - 1903 ===
* [[John Ruskin]]: 'The labour of two days is that for which you ask two hundred guineas?'&lt;br&gt;Whistler: 'No. I ask it for the knowledge I have gained in the work of a lifetime.'
** ''Whistler v. Ruskin'' (1878)

* Why should not I call my works 'symphonies', 'arrangements', 'harmonies', and 'nocturnes'?..  .The vast majority of English folk cannot and will not consider a picture as a picture, apart from any story which it may be supposed to tell. My picture of 'Harmony in Grey and Gold' is an illustration of my meaning – as snow scene with a single black figure and lighted tavern. I care nothing for the past, present, or future of the black figure, placed there because the black was wanted at that spot. All that I know is that my combination of grey and gold is the basis of the picture, Now this is precisely what my friends cannot grasp. 
** Quote in a letter to 'The World', London 22 Mai, 1878; as cited in ''Letters of the great artists – from Blake to Pollock'', Richard Friedenthal, Thames and Hudson, London, 1963, p. 186

* If the man who paints only the tree, or flower, or other surface he sees before him were an artist, the king of artists would be the photographer. It is for the artist to do something beyond this: in portrait painting to put on canvas something more than the face the model wears for that one day: to paint the man, in short, as well as his features; in arrangement of colours to treat a flower as his key, not as his model. This is now understood indifferently well – at least by dressmakers. In every costume you see attention is paid to the key-note of colour which runs through the composition, as the chant of the Anabaptists through the 'Prophète', or the Hugenots' hymn in the opera of that name.
** In a letter to 'The World', London 22 Mai, 1878; as quoted in ''Letters of the great artists – from Blake to Pollock'', Richard Friedenthal, Thames and Hudson, London, 1963, p. 186

* Shall the painter then..  ..decide upon painting? Shall ''he'' be the critic and sole authority? Aggressive as is this supposition, I fear that, in the length of time, his assertion alone has established what even the gentleman of the quill accept as the canons of art, and recognize as the masterpieces of work. [[Georges Seurat|Seurat's]] painting of the ''[[w:A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte|Grande Jatte]]'' proved extremely influential. 
** quote of Whistler, (1892) In: ''Gentle Art of making Enemies'', James Abbott McNeill Whistler, G. P. Putnam's Sons, New York, 1922, p. 30

* May I therefore acknowledge the tender glow of health induced by reading, as I sat here in the morning sun, the flattering attention paid me by your gentleman of ready wreath and quick biography!
** After a Dutch newspaper prematurely! reported his death in 1902

==== his lecture 'Ten O'Clock' (1885) ====
* Art is a goddess of dainty thought, reticent of habit, abjuring all obtrusiveness, purposing in no way to better others. She is, withal selfishly occupied with her own perfection only — having no desire to teach.

* Art is upon the Town!

* Listen! There was never an artistic period. There was never an art-loving nation.

* Nature is usually wrong.

* [another part / version of Whistler's lecture:]&lt;br&gt;Nature contains the elements, in colour and form, of all pictures, as the keyboard contains the notes of all music. But the artist is born to pick, and choose, and group with science, these elements, that the result may be beautiful—as the musician gathers his notes, and forms his chords, until he bring forth from chaos glorious harmony. To say to the painter, that Nature is to be taken as she is, is to say to the player, that he may sit on the piano. That Nature is always right, is an assertion, artistically, as untrue, as it is one whose truth is universally taken for granted. Nature is very rarely right, to such an extent even, that it might almost be said that Nature is usually wrong: that is to say, the condition of things that shall bring about the perfection of harmony worthy a picture is rare, and not common at all.
** in: ''James McNeill Whistler (1834–1903)'', Weinberg, H. Barbara, 'Heilbrunn Timeline of Art History'. New York: The Metropolitan Museum of Art, 2000–. http://www.metmuseum.org/toah/hd/whis/hd_whis.htm (April 2010)

==== 'The Gentle Art of Making Enemies' (1890) ====
:&lt;small&gt;'''Quote of Whistler from ''[[w:The Gentle Art Of Making Enemies|The Gentle Art of Making Enemies]] : As Pleasingly Exemplified In Many Instances, Wherein The Serious Ones Of This Earth, Carefully Exasperated, Have Been Prettily Spurred On To Unseemliness And Indiscretion, While Overcome By An Undue Sense Of Right'' '''&lt;/small&gt;

* The rare few, who, early in life, have rid themselves of the friendship of the many.
** Dedication

* To say of a picture, as is often said in its praise, that it shows great and earnest labor, is to say that it is incomplete and unfit for view.
** ''Propositions'', 2

* Industry in art is a necessity - not a virtue - and any evidence of the same, in the production, is a blemish, not a quality; a proof, not of achievement, but of absolutely insufficient work, for work alone will efface the footsteps of work.
** ''Propositions'', 2

* The masterpiece should appear as the flower to the painter—perfect in its bud as in its bloom - with no reason to explain it's presence - no mission to fulfill - a joy to the artist, a delusion to the philanthropist - a puzzle to the botanist - an accident of sentiment and alliteration to the literary man.
** ''Propositions'', 2

* As music is the poetry of sound, so is painting the poetry of sight, and the subject-matter has nothing to do with harmony of sound or of colour. The great musicians knew this. [[w:Ludwig van Beethoven|Beethoven]] and the rest wrote music — simply music; symphony in this key, concerto or sonata in that..  .Art should be independent of all claptrap — should stand alone, and appeal to the artistic sense of eye or ear, without confounding this with emotions entirely foreign to it, as devotion, pity, love, patriotism, and the like. All these have no kind of concern with it; and that is why I insist on calling my works 'arrangements' and 'harmonies.'
** ''Propositions'', 2
** (also in a letter to 'The World', London 22 Mai, 1878; as quoted in ''Letters of the great artists – from Blake to Pollock'', Richard Friedenthal, Thames and Hudson, London, 1963, p. 186)

* It is for the artist..  ..in portrait painting to put on canvas something more than the face the model wears for that one day; to paint the man, in short, as well as his features.
** ''Propositions'', 2

* One cannot continually disappoint a Continent.
** ''Propositions'', 2

* I am not arguing with you — I am telling you.
** ''Propositions'', 2

==== 'A Chat with Mr. Whistler' (1895) ====
* One is always finding out more.
** {{cite journal|title=A Chat with Mr. Whistler|date=January 1895|journal=The Studio|volume=4|pages=116–121|url=https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=umn.319510019270823;view=1up;seq=132}} (quote from p. 118)

=== Posthumously published ===

* [[w:Oscar Wilde|Oscar Wilde]]: 'I wish I had said that'&lt;br&gt;Whistler: 'You will, Oscar, you will.' 
** L.C. Ingleby, ''Oscar Wilde'' (1907). This is a paraphrased version of the quotation that has come to be accepted. For a chronology of sources see [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2013/09/05/oscar-will/ Quote Investigator].

* You shouldn't say it is not good. You should say you do not like it; and then, you know, you're perfectly safe.
** Quoted by [[w:Don Carlos Seitz|Don C. Seitz]] in [http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/13973 Whistler Stories] (1913)

* 'I know of only two painters in the world,' said a newly introduced feminine enthusiast to Whistler, 'yourself and [[w:Diego Velázquez|Velasquez]].' 'Why,' answered Whistler in dulcet tones, 'why drag in Velasquez?'
** D.C. Seitz, ''Whistler Stories'' (1913)

* Yes, madam, Nature is creeping up. [in response to a lady who said that a landscape reminded her of his work]
** D.C. Seitz, ''Whistler Stories'' (1913)

* Two and two continue to make four, in spite of the whine of the amateur for three, or the cry of the critic for five.
** ''Whistler v. Ruskin''

* I say I can't thank you too much for the name 'Nocturne' as a title for my moonlights! You have no idea what an irritation it proves to the critics and consequent pleasure to me — besides it is really so charming and does so poetically say all that I want to say and no more than I wish.
** Anderson and Koval, p. 186; as quoted on the English Wikipedia

* A group from Glasgow sought in 1891 to purchase his portrait of [[w:Thomas Carlyle]] was shocked that Whistler's price was 1000 guineas. A spokesman countered that the portrait was not even life size. Whistler replied, 'But, you know, few men are life size.'
** Tom Prideaux and Time-Life Books, ''The World of Whistler'' (1970)

== Quotes about James McNeill Whistler ==
:&lt;small&gt;'''sorted chronologically, by date of the quotes about James Whistler'''&lt;/small&gt;
* For Mr '''Whistler's''' own sake, no less than for the protection of the purchaser, Sir [[w:Coutts Lindsay|Coutts Lindsay]] ought not to have admitted works into the gallery in which the ill-educated conceit of the artist so nearly approached the aspect of willful imposture. I have seen, and heard, much of cockney impudence before now; but never expected to hear a coxcomb ask two hundred guineas for flinging a pot of paint in the public's face. [reacting on Whistler's painting: '[[w:Nocturne in Black and Gold – The Falling Rocket]]' (c. 1875) - an almost abstract city-scene, exposed in an exhibition at London's Grosvenor Gallery in 1877]
** [[John Ruskin]]'s denunciation of Whistler, in 'Fors Clavigera' No 79, in June 1877; as quoted in [http://www.theguardian.com/culture/2003/jun/26/artsfeatures 'Artists v. critics, round one'], Jonathan Jones

* '''Whistler''' makes dry-points mostly, and sometimes regular etchings, but the suppleness you find in them, the pithiness and delicacy which charm you derive from the inking which is done by Whistler himself j no professional printer could substitute for him, for inking is an art in itself and completes the etched line. Now we would like to achieve suppleness before the printing. I saw two prints exhibited in Paris a year or two ago; they were rather delicate, meager and thin-looking, one would have to see a whole collection in order to judge them, for doubtless he [Whistler] has done some that are first rate.
** Quote of [[Camille Pissarro]], Osny (Val-d'Oise), 28 February 1883, in a letter to his son Lucien; from ''Camille Pissarro - Letters to His Son Lucien'' ed. [[w:John Rewald|John Rewald]], with assistance of [[w:Lucien Pissarro| Lucien Pissarro]]; from the unpublished French letters; transl. Lionel Abel; Pantheon Books Inc. New York, second edition, 1943, p. 23

* ..not merely for its clever satire and amusing jests..  ..but for the pure and perfect beauty of many of its passages..  ..for that he is indeed one of the very greatest masters of painting, in my opinion. And I may add that in this opinion '''Mr. Whistler''' himself entirely concurs.
** Quote of [[w:Oscar Wilde|Oscar Wilde]], on reading Whistler's first book, ''Ten O'clock Lecture'' in 1885; as quoted in ''James McNeill Whistler'', Lisa N. Peters, Smithmark, New York, 1996, pg. 57; as quoted on Wikipedia

* '''Whistler''' [at the Paris [[Impressionism]]-exhibition, of [[w: Georges Petit|M. Petit]], May 1887] has some very fine bits of sketches in paint, forty-two!! He was honored with the best places, he also has a large portrait of a lady, the painting is completely black. Nor is there any luminosity either. Whistler, by the way, does not care for luminosity. His little sketches show fine draftsmanship. In the corridor he has some very good, in fact, quite superior etchings, they are even luminous, which is strange for an artist who does not aim at this in his color.
** Quote of [[Camille Pissarro]], in a letter, Paris, 14 May, 1887, to his son Lucien; in ''Camille Pissarro - Letters to His Son Lucien'' ed. [[w:John Rewald|John Rewald]], with assistance of [[w:Lucien Pissarro| Lucien Pissarro]]; from the unpublished French letters; transl. Lionel Abel; Pantheon Books Inc. New York, second edition, 1943, p. 108

* He did better than attract a few followers and imitators; he influenced the whole world of art. Consciously, or unconsciously, his presence is felt in countless studios; his genius permeates modern artistic thought.
** Quote of [[w:Charles Caffin|Charles Caffin]] (1906), as cited in ''James McNeill Whistler'', Lisa N. Peters, Smithmark, New York, 1996, pg. 57; as quoted on Wikipedia.

* In our beginnings, [[w:Fantin-Latour|Fantin]], '''Whistler''' and I were all on the same road, the road from Holland [Dutch 17th century painters]
** Quote of [[Edgar Degas]] - recalled by Paul Poujaud (in his letter to Marcel Guérin, 11 July 1936); as quoted by Colin B. Bailey, in ''The Annenberg Collection: Masterpieces of Impressionism and Post-impressionism'', publish. Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, 2009, p. 54
** Degas is recalling his early works of the 1860's

* His landscapes of those years [mid-1860s] reveal that he had rejected his earlier commitment to transcribing nature in the manner of [[Gustave Courbet|Courbet]], and was responding instead to formalist imperatives, including flat, decorative surfaces, subtle tonal harmonies, and allusive, rather than literal, subjects. Taking a cue from a critic who had referred to his early portrait of his mistress, '[[w:Symphony in White, No. 1: The White Girl|The White Girl]]' (1862; National Gallery of Art, Washington, D.C.), as a 'symphony in white,' Whistler began to envision and entitle his works with the abstract language of music, calling them symphonies, compositions, harmonies, nocturnes, arrangements, and so forth.
** Quote of H. Barbara Weinberg, in: ''James McNeill Whistler (1834–1903)'', [http://www.metmuseum.org/toah/hd/whis/hd_whis.htm] 'Heilbrunn Timeline of Art History'. New York: The Metropolitan Museum of Art, 2000–. (April 2010)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Commons|James McNeill Whistler}}

* [http://www.whistler.arts.gla.ac.uk/ Centre For Whistler Studies, Glasgow University]
* [http://www.whistler.arts.gla.ac.uk/ The Correspondence of James McNeill Whistler, Glasgow University] Edited by M.F.MacDonald, P.de Montfort, N. Thorp.
* [http://www.artcyclopedia.com/artists/whistler_james_mcneill.html Artcyclopedia entry]
* [http://www.artchive.com/artchive/W/whistler.html Artchive entry]
* [http://iupjournals.org/victorian/vic42-4.html An account of the Whistler/Ruskin affair]
* [http://www.whistlerhouse.org/ Whistler House Museum of Art official web site]
* [http://www.hillstead.org/collection/paint_whistler.html Whistler at Hill-Stead Museum, Farmington, Connecticut]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Whistler, James McNeill}}
[[Category:Printmakers]]
[[Category:Painters from the United States]]
[[Category:People from Boston]]
[[Category:1834 births]]
[[Category:1903 deaths]]</text>
      <sha1>jmdd3da2sq5ypynyof7zx689mmq18oe</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Wikiquote talk:Administrators</title>
    <ns>5</ns>
    <id>17623</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944094</id>
      <parentid>3942938</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T00:04:23Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>PieWriter</username>
        <id>3267587</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Convert this to an official policy? */ close</comment>
      <origin>3944094</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="8017" sha1="dnagyd0gj4yxbbarwu8w5kjc4k4rbjb" xml:space="preserve">__TOC__

== [[template:DIRMARK]] [[template talk:DIRMARK|T]] ==

* Please read [[commons:Template talk:DIRMARK]].
* Please protect [[template:DIRMARK]] against moves and edits. Thanks in advance! best regards [[w:en:User:Gangleri|en:User:Gangleri]] | [[w:en:User Talk:Gangleri|T]] 22:56, 14 January 2006 (UTC)

== Language skills of administrators ==

Based on [[s:Wikisource_talk:Administrators#Language_skills_of_administrators]] that I initiated there, I would like to suggest admins to voluntarily disclose their language skills. As we have so many translated quotes, knowing the language skills of administrators may make it easier to request translation verification and for inter-language coordinations. My dear fellow admins, how would you think of my idea?--[[User:Jusjih|Jusjih]] 02:30, 28 December 2007 (UTC) (admin here and on English Wikisource)

:@[[User:Jusjih|Jusjih]], I agree. It is very important for the community to know how well versed an admin is in the English language, and ALSO, in this global environment, what other languages the admin knows. Just my $.02 [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 17:13, 27 October 2024 (UTC)

== [[Hamid Bin Ahmad Al-Rifaie]] ==

* '''Why did you delete the article''' ... We have repaired the article .. I have to add the sources .. I have also attached files for books PDF format ... I'm astonished by this act???? Is it deleted for deletion only??[[User:FALCON-MAN|FALCON-MAN]] 08:26, 22 February 2010 (UTC)
*: The article was deleted pursuant to [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Hamid Bin Ahmad Al-Rifaie]], where the consensus was that the subject is not sufficiently [[WQ:N|notable]]. Proponents for keeping the article did not provide persuasive evidence that the works are widely quoted or noted in sources independent of the author's affiliates. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] 15:48, 22 February 2010 (UTC)

*: The article was nominated for deletion for certain reasons listed there .... Defects have been repaired and the addition of sources for the article ... As well as the addition of books and files attached to PDF format ..... Question: What is the benefit of the vote if the article had been repaired!!! Voting was on the defects, and defects repaired?? So the vote has no value to him??? '''In other words:''' the vote was for some reason ... The reason ended ... So vote for him no value [[User:FALCON-MAN|FALCON-MAN]] 16:05, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

== nutshell ==

I have removed a newly added &quot;nutshell&quot; from this page (copied from Wikipedia), which read &quot;Administrators are users trusted with access to certain tools. They are expected to observe a high standard of conduct, to use the tools fairly, and never to use them to gain advantage in a dispute.&quot; {{pbri}} I am not sure we need one, but I would not object if it accurately summarized the page. However, I think this language places an emphasis on behavioral issues present in the Wikipedia policy but not in the Wikiquote version. One may hope it never becomes necessary to add that particular emphasis here. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] 22:38, 22 March 2010 (UTC)

==Inertia==
To ask, is this person an Administrator?[[Special:Contributions/72.184.129.252|72.184.129.252]] 06:51, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

==Help with stats==
I would like to ask if there is a way I can compile stats of local Wikiquote contributions for different local languages for newly created Wikiquote articles and improved ones in the past 30 days especially getting the stats for women wikiquote.[[user:Shoodho]]

== Changes proposed by Ottawahitech are substantial and deserve discussion ==

How the article began up until December 2023, and how it begins now, after my revert:
&lt;blockquote&gt;Administrators are Wikiquotians who have &quot;sysop rights&quot;.↵Current English Wikiquote policy is to grant this access liberally to anyone who has been an active Wikiquote contributor for a while and is generally a known and trusted member of the community.↵&quot;This should be no big deal,&quot; as Jimbo has said.
&quot;Sysop&quot; and &quot;administrator&quot; are really misnomers, as they are just Wikiquote users who have had performance and security-based restrictions on a couple of features lifted because they seemed like trustworthy folks and asked nicely. Sysops are not imbued with any special authority, and are equal to everybody else in terms of editorial responsibility.&lt;/blockquote&gt;
On December 10, 2023, {{u|Ottawahitech}} [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote%3AAdministrators&amp;diff=3415891&amp;oldid=3290591 removed this established text and replaced it] with the following:

&lt;blockquote&gt;An administrator is a user with specific tasks who is trusted by the community.
Being an administrator is not a title of merit or difference compared to other Wikipedians, but a service function for which a user voluntarily decides to take responsibility; in fact, an administrator does not have more rights than other users nor does he enjoy particular privileges; on the other hand his duties are very specific.
To carry out his tasks he is provided with some additional features of the software.
The term of office is not pre-established and an administrator has the right to resign from their office. If serious problems arise, an administrator can be removed (see the relevant paragraph).&lt;/blockquote&gt;

The original version was clear and clean, helpful to anyone interested in the duties of an admin and the road to becoming one. The changes removed specific and useful information, replacing it with a bunch of editorializing, which is not even accurate. In fact, an admin DOES have more rights than other users, e.g. the &quot;mop,&quot; the &quot;tools,&quot; whatever you want to call them, are wielded by admins and not by everybody. This is why, per BRD, I restored the original version. I hope others will comment on whether or not some new wording should have consensus. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 02:24, 28 January 2024 (UTC)

== About Rauf Javad ==

I hope you will be generous enough to help us! — Nicat Kamal [[Müəllif:Rauf Cavad|Arif Hikmət türk]] ([[User talk:Arif Hikmət türk|talk]]). 18:50, 21 October 2024 (UTC)

:Please see the template I just posted to your talk page and familiarize yourself with our policies. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:43, 21 October 2024 (UTC)

==Update==
I think this page needs to be updated since there have been several RFA since 2024. [[Special:Contributions/2601:1C0:5686:88E0:157C:1EE5:35E6:5A81|2601:1C0:5686:88E0:157C:1EE5:35E6:5A81]] 18:02, 3 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} - I've updated the lists of current and former admins. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:34, 3 April 2025 (UTC)

== Convert this to an official policy? ==
{{archive top|Closed [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 00:04, 22 May 2026 (UTC)}}
Ladies and gentlemen, I believe might be time to convert this to an official policy now. The only thing I might want to recommend adding is something about involved administrators (and how they, when involved, should not use their advanced permissions). Thoughts? [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 02:25, 3 May 2026 (UTC)
* {{Support}} --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 16:09, 5 May 2026 (UTC)
* {{Support}}, and also support the proposed addition. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 20:15, 13 May 2026 (UTC)
*: I added it to the proposed policy, but feel free to rewrite if necessary. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 18:20, 19 May 2026 (UTC)
{{archive bottom}}</text>
      <sha1>dnagyd0gj4yxbbarwu8w5kjc4k4rbjb</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944096</id>
      <parentid>3944094</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T00:06:28Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>PieWriter</username>
        <id>3267587</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>([[m:Special:MyLanguage/User:Jon Harald Søby/diffedit|diffedit]])</comment>
      <origin>3944096</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="8038" sha1="pxanpac7p0uga0l4r9pwy5k235by95n" xml:space="preserve">__TOC__

== [[template:DIRMARK]] [[template talk:DIRMARK|T]] ==

* Please read [[commons:Template talk:DIRMARK]].
* Please protect [[template:DIRMARK]] against moves and edits. Thanks in advance! best regards [[w:en:User:Gangleri|en:User:Gangleri]] | [[w:en:User Talk:Gangleri|T]] 22:56, 14 January 2006 (UTC)

== Language skills of administrators ==

Based on [[s:Wikisource_talk:Administrators#Language_skills_of_administrators]] that I initiated there, I would like to suggest admins to voluntarily disclose their language skills. As we have so many translated quotes, knowing the language skills of administrators may make it easier to request translation verification and for inter-language coordinations. My dear fellow admins, how would you think of my idea?--[[User:Jusjih|Jusjih]] 02:30, 28 December 2007 (UTC) (admin here and on English Wikisource)

:@[[User:Jusjih|Jusjih]], I agree. It is very important for the community to know how well versed an admin is in the English language, and ALSO, in this global environment, what other languages the admin knows. Just my $.02 [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 17:13, 27 October 2024 (UTC)

== [[Hamid Bin Ahmad Al-Rifaie]] ==

* '''Why did you delete the article''' ... We have repaired the article .. I have to add the sources .. I have also attached files for books PDF format ... I'm astonished by this act???? Is it deleted for deletion only??[[User:FALCON-MAN|FALCON-MAN]] 08:26, 22 February 2010 (UTC)
*: The article was deleted pursuant to [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Hamid Bin Ahmad Al-Rifaie]], where the consensus was that the subject is not sufficiently [[WQ:N|notable]]. Proponents for keeping the article did not provide persuasive evidence that the works are widely quoted or noted in sources independent of the author's affiliates. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] 15:48, 22 February 2010 (UTC)

*: The article was nominated for deletion for certain reasons listed there .... Defects have been repaired and the addition of sources for the article ... As well as the addition of books and files attached to PDF format ..... Question: What is the benefit of the vote if the article had been repaired!!! Voting was on the defects, and defects repaired?? So the vote has no value to him??? '''In other words:''' the vote was for some reason ... The reason ended ... So vote for him no value [[User:FALCON-MAN|FALCON-MAN]] 16:05, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

== nutshell ==

I have removed a newly added &quot;nutshell&quot; from this page (copied from Wikipedia), which read &quot;Administrators are users trusted with access to certain tools. They are expected to observe a high standard of conduct, to use the tools fairly, and never to use them to gain advantage in a dispute.&quot; {{pbri}} I am not sure we need one, but I would not object if it accurately summarized the page. However, I think this language places an emphasis on behavioral issues present in the Wikipedia policy but not in the Wikiquote version. One may hope it never becomes necessary to add that particular emphasis here. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] 22:38, 22 March 2010 (UTC)

==Inertia==
To ask, is this person an Administrator?[[Special:Contributions/72.184.129.252|72.184.129.252]] 06:51, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

==Help with stats==
I would like to ask if there is a way I can compile stats of local Wikiquote contributions for different local languages for newly created Wikiquote articles and improved ones in the past 30 days especially getting the stats for women wikiquote.[[user:Shoodho]]

== Changes proposed by Ottawahitech are substantial and deserve discussion ==

How the article began up until December 2023, and how it begins now, after my revert:
&lt;blockquote&gt;Administrators are Wikiquotians who have &quot;sysop rights&quot;.↵Current English Wikiquote policy is to grant this access liberally to anyone who has been an active Wikiquote contributor for a while and is generally a known and trusted member of the community.↵&quot;This should be no big deal,&quot; as Jimbo has said.
&quot;Sysop&quot; and &quot;administrator&quot; are really misnomers, as they are just Wikiquote users who have had performance and security-based restrictions on a couple of features lifted because they seemed like trustworthy folks and asked nicely. Sysops are not imbued with any special authority, and are equal to everybody else in terms of editorial responsibility.&lt;/blockquote&gt;
On December 10, 2023, {{u|Ottawahitech}} [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote%3AAdministrators&amp;diff=3415891&amp;oldid=3290591 removed this established text and replaced it] with the following:

&lt;blockquote&gt;An administrator is a user with specific tasks who is trusted by the community.
Being an administrator is not a title of merit or difference compared to other Wikipedians, but a service function for which a user voluntarily decides to take responsibility; in fact, an administrator does not have more rights than other users nor does he enjoy particular privileges; on the other hand his duties are very specific.
To carry out his tasks he is provided with some additional features of the software.
The term of office is not pre-established and an administrator has the right to resign from their office. If serious problems arise, an administrator can be removed (see the relevant paragraph).&lt;/blockquote&gt;

The original version was clear and clean, helpful to anyone interested in the duties of an admin and the road to becoming one. The changes removed specific and useful information, replacing it with a bunch of editorializing, which is not even accurate. In fact, an admin DOES have more rights than other users, e.g. the &quot;mop,&quot; the &quot;tools,&quot; whatever you want to call them, are wielded by admins and not by everybody. This is why, per BRD, I restored the original version. I hope others will comment on whether or not some new wording should have consensus. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 02:24, 28 January 2024 (UTC)

== About Rauf Javad ==

I hope you will be generous enough to help us! — Nicat Kamal [[Müəllif:Rauf Cavad|Arif Hikmət türk]] ([[User talk:Arif Hikmət türk|talk]]). 18:50, 21 October 2024 (UTC)

:Please see the template I just posted to your talk page and familiarize yourself with our policies. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:43, 21 October 2024 (UTC)

==Update==
I think this page needs to be updated since there have been several RFA since 2024. [[Special:Contributions/2601:1C0:5686:88E0:157C:1EE5:35E6:5A81|2601:1C0:5686:88E0:157C:1EE5:35E6:5A81]] 18:02, 3 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} - I've updated the lists of current and former admins. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:34, 3 April 2025 (UTC)

== Convert this to an official policy? ==
{{archive top|Closed, it is now a policy. [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 00:04, 22 May 2026 (UTC)}}
Ladies and gentlemen, I believe might be time to convert this to an official policy now. The only thing I might want to recommend adding is something about involved administrators (and how they, when involved, should not use their advanced permissions). Thoughts? [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 02:25, 3 May 2026 (UTC)
* {{Support}} --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 16:09, 5 May 2026 (UTC)
* {{Support}}, and also support the proposed addition. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 20:15, 13 May 2026 (UTC)
*: I added it to the proposed policy, but feel free to rewrite if necessary. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 18:20, 19 May 2026 (UTC)
{{archive bottom}}</text>
      <sha1>pxanpac7p0uga0l4r9pwy5k235by95n</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Stephen Colbert</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>18075</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944110</id>
      <parentid>3915486</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T02:45:51Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UnknownMorsel</username>
        <id>3106105</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* 2025 */</comment>
      <origin>3944110</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="40941" sha1="j307uo8h9xh0qz72ofi3lls764ibp34" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Stephen Colbert 2023.jpg|thumb|Stephen Colbert in 2023]]
[[File:Stephen Colbert 2 by David Shankbone.jpg|thumb|right|[[Reality]] has a well-[[known]] [[liberal]] [[bias]].]]
[[File:Stephen Colbert 4 by David Shankbone.jpg|thumb|right|Well, I [[thought]] it was [[funny]].]]
'''[[w:Stephen Colbert|Stephen Tyrone Colbert]]''' (born [[13 May]] [[1964]]) is an American satirist, comedian, writer, actor, and television host most famous for his work on ''[[w:The Daily Show|The Daily Show]]'', ''[[w:The Colbert Report|The Colbert Report]]'' from 2005 to 2014 where he portrays a parody of conservative media pundits, and ''[[w:The Late Show with Stephen Colbert|The Late Show with Stephen Colbert]]'' since 2015. He graduated from [[w:Northwestern University|Northwestern University]] in 1986, and appeared in the films ''Nobody Knows Anything!'' (2003), ''Snow Days'' (1999), and ''Shock Asylum'' (1997). In 1995, Colbert made his TV debut on Comedy Central in ''[[w:Exit 57|Exit 57]]'' and was later on the show ''[[w:Strangers with Candy|Strangers with Candy]]''. Colbert did voice work for &quot;The Ambiguously Gay Duo&quot; on ''[[w:Saturday Night Live|Saturday Night Live]]'' as the voice of Ace, and also provided the voices of &quot;Myron Reducto&quot;, &quot;Phil Ken Sebben&quot;, and &quot;The Eagle Of Truth&quot; on ''[[w:Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law|Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law]].''

== Quotes ==
[[File:Stephen Colbert.jpg|thumb|right|I think of him as well intentioned, poorly [[informed]], high status [[idiot]].]]
[[File:Stephen Colbert in May 2008 No 2.jpg|thumb|right|Don’t be [[afraid]] to be a [[fool]]. ... [[Cynicism]] masquerades as [[wisdom]], but it is the farthest thing from it.]]
[[File:Truthiness comic.jpg|thumb|right|In the [[Wikipedia]] age, everybody can be an expert in five minutes.]]
[[File:Stephen Colbert at FSU Pow Wow.jpg|thumb|right|We claim no [[respectability]]. There's no status I would not surrender for a [[joke]].]]
[[File:Time 100 Stephen Colbert and wife.jpg|thumb|right|I don't perceive my role as a newsman at all. I'm a [[comedian]] from stem to stern.]]
[[File:Stephen Colbert by David Shankbone.jpg|thumb|right|You can’t [[laugh]] and be [[afraid]] at the same [[time]]—of anything. If you're laughing, I defy you to be afraid.]]
[[File:Stephen Colbert at Rally.jpg|thumb|right|If you don't give [[power]] to the [[words]] that [[people]] throw at you to [[hurt]] you, they don't hurt you anymore — and you actually have power over those people.]]

*'''I didn't realize quite how [[liberal]] I was''' until I was asked to make passionate comedic choices as opposed to necessarily successful comedic choices.
** [https://www.npr.org/2005/01/24/4464017/a-fake-newsmans-fake-newsman-stephen-colbert &quot;Fresh Air&quot; NPR interview] (24 January 2005)

*(on Alex Jones) He is a terrible person who lies for a living.
**&quot;The Tonight Show,&quot; May 19, 2017.

* Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.
** &quot;The Colbert Report,&quot; November 12, 2009.

* Such a proud moment of professionalism. You work for years crafting cogent [[satire|satirical]] essays and the thing that everybody remembers is me making love to a Chiquita and bursting into [[laughter]]. What you can't see off camera is Jon started laughing first. '''And then I'm weak. As much as I want to make the audience laugh, I ''really'' want to make Jon laugh.'''
**[http://www.jerriblank.com/colbert_ew.html ''Entertainment Weekly'' interview], August 13, 2004, on his character break during the infamous Prince Charles sketch on ''The Daily Show''.

* My character is self-important, poorly informed, well-intentioned, but an idiot… So we said, &quot;Let's give him a promotion.&quot;
** &quot;Colbert spoofs cable news on Daily Show spinoff&quot; Associated Press report (31 October 2005)

* '''[[w:Truthiness|Truthiness]] is tearing apart our country''', and I don't mean the argument over who came up with the word. I don't know whether it's a new thing, but it's certainly a current thing, in that it doesn't seem to matter what facts are. '''It used to be, everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. But that's not the case anymore. Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything. It's certainty.''' People love the president because he's certain of his choices as a leader, even if the facts that back him up don't seem to exist. It's the fact that he's certain that is very appealing to a certain section of the country. I really feel a dichotomy in the American populace. What is important? What you want to be true, or what ''is'' true?
**[http://www.avclub.com/article/stephen-colbert-13970 ''AV Club'' interview], (25 January 2006)

* '''I think of him as well intentioned, poorly informed, high status idiot.'''
** On his character in ''The Colbert Report'', in an interview on [http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/04/27/60minutes/main1553506.shtml ''60 Minutes''] (30 April 2006)

* You said the war would pay for itself in fruit baskets. You said that our soldiers would march in the streets of Havana and people would shower them with bananas and cigars. That didn’t happen. Would you like to look into the camera and apologize to the American people? 
** One of his questions to President [[Theodore Roosevelt]] in his series &lt;i&gt;Better Know A President&lt;/i&gt; on &lt;i&gt;The Colbert Report&lt;/i&gt;[http://www.nofactzone.net/?p=1788] (17 May 2006)

* '''Don’t be afraid to be a fool.''' Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. '''Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it.''' Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. '''Cynics always say no. But saying yes begins things. Saying yes is how things grow. Saying yes leads to knowledge. &quot;Yes&quot; is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say yes.'''
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20110528134503/http://departments.knox.edu/newsarchive/news_events/2006/x12547.html Knox College commencement address] (3 June 2006)

* '''But you have one thing that may save you, and that is your youth. This is your great strength. It is also why I hate and fear you.''' Hear me out. It has been said that children are our future. But does that not also mean that we are their past? You are here to replace us. I don't understand why we're here helping and honoring them. You do not see union workers holding benefits for robots.
** Knox College commencement address (3 June 2006)

* If I want to say he didn't that's my right, and now, thanks to Wikipedia — it's also a fact.
** On the ownership of slaves by [[George Washington]], on ''The Colbert Report'' (31 July 2006).

* Get your own entry in an encyclopedia... '''In the media age, everybody was famous for 15 minutes. In the Wikipedia age, everybody can be an expert in five minutes.''' Special bonus: You can edit your own entry to make yourself seem even smarter.
**[http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/14.08/colbert.html ''Wired Magazine'' article] (14 August 2006)

* Well folks, it's October and you know what that means: only a few more weeks 'til Hallowe'en when my family traditionally puts up our Christmas decorations. People come from far and wide to visit our haunted manger. We make their kids stick their hands in a spoooky bowl of Frankincense!! It's actually just spaghetti.
** On ''The Colbert Report'' (28 September 2006). Video available at [http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/76103/september-28-2006/the-blitzkrieg-on-grinchitude ''Colbert Nation'']

* '''Language has always been important in politics, but language is incredibly important to the present political struggle.''' Because if you can establish an atmosphere in which information doesn't mean anything, then there is no objective reality. The first show we did, a year ago, was our thesis statement: What you wish to be true is all that matters, regardless of the facts. '''Of course, at the time, we thought we were being farcical.'''
**[http://nymag.com/news/politics/22322/ ''New York Magazine'' interview] (16 October 2006)

* '''I have tender feelings for [[Richard Nixon|Nixon]], because everybody has warm feelings about their childhood.''' Actually, I didn't like the Watergate trials 'cause they interrupted ''[[The Munsters]]''... Nixon was the last liberal president. He supported women's rights, the environment, ending the draft, youth involvement, and now he's the boogeyman? [[John Kerry|Kerry]] couldn't even run on that today.
**[http://www.rollingstone.com/movies/news/americas-anchors-20061116?page=3 ''Rolling Stone'' interview] (31 October 2006)

* '''We claim no respectability. There's no status I would not surrender for a joke.''' So we don't have to defend anything.
**''Rolling Stone'' interview (31 October 2006)

* '''I don't perceive my role as a newsman at all. I'm a comedian from stem to stern.''' You can cut me open and count the rings of jokes. If people learn something about the news by watching the show, that is incidental to my goal.
** When asked what he perceives his role to be, given that many young people claim to get their news from ''The Daily Show'' and ''The Colbert Report'', on newsman.[http://ksgaccman.harvard.edu/iop/events_forum_video.asp?ID=3051 &quot;Harvard University: A Conversation with Stephen Colbert&quot;] (1 December 2006).

* '''Answer honestly... Disabuse me of my ignorance.''' Don’t let me get away with anything. Don’t try to play my game. Be real. Be passionate. Hold your ideas. Give me resistance. Give me traction I can work against. The friction between reality, or the truly held concerns of the person, and the farcical concerns that I have, or my need to seem important, as opposed to actually understanding what’s true... Where those two things meet is where the comedy happens. '''So be real. That's the best thing you can do.''' And call me on my bullshit.
** On how he would recommend ''Colbert Report'' guests approach interviews, on ''A Conversation with Stephen Colbert'' (1 December 2006).

* '''I would say laughter is the best medicine. But it’s more than that. It’s an entire regime of antibiotics and steroids.''' Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche, and then applies an antibiotic cream... Obviously, it’s a challenge to make light of the darkness but, um, it’s better than crying about it.
**[http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20006490,00.html ''Entertainment Weekly'' interview] (4 January 2007)

* '''I'm surprised at the reaction it got. I went down there and did exactly what I wanted. I didn't expect it to be some sort of cultural-political line in the sand.''' I did the style of jokes I'd been doing for six months. The fact that anybody found it surprising or alarming that I would do that was educational to me.
** On the reaction to his performance at the White House Correspondents' Dinner, in ''Entertainment Weekly'' (4 January 2007)

* At Pottery Barn, if you knock over a lamp, you have to glue it back together, even if when you're done it looks terrible and it doesn't work. Oh, and you have to stay in the store forever. Oh, and it's an exploding lamp.
**On the &quot;[[w:Pottery Barn rule|Pottery Barn Rule]],&quot; ''The Colbert Report'' (16 May 2007)

* We decided that my character had a pre-show tradition, like a ritual, which was to sing the lyrics to &quot;I Want You To Want Me&quot; by Cheap Trick into the mirror. Because, more than anything else, as much as he says he's bringing the truth, he just wants to be liked.
**[http://www.parade.com/celebrity/articles/070923-stephen-colbert.html ''Parade'' web exclusive interview] (19 September 2007)

* Not living in fear is a great gift, because certainly these days we do it so much. And do you know what I like about comedy? '''You can’t laugh and be afraid at the same time—of anything. If you're laughing, I defy you to be afraid.'''
** [http://www.parade.com/articles/editions/2007/edition_09-23-2007/AStephen_Colbert ''Parade'' interview] (23 September 2007)

* After acting for so many years, do you know who you are anymore? Because actors are liars basically, you lie about who you are to an audience.
** [[Stephen Colbert]] to Viggo Mortensen, [[The Colbert Report]] September 18, 2014

* We worked very hard to keep him from being a jerk by keeping in mind he's well intentioned. Just poorly informed. '''He wants to do the right thing but has none of the tools to achieve it. Because he has no curiosity, he doesn't like to read and he won't listen anybody, except the voices in his head.'''
** On his character in ''The Colbert Report'' in an interview on [http://www.cnn.com/CNN/Programs/larry.king.live/ ''Larry King Live'' (11 October 2007)]

* Winning the Nobel Prize does not automatically qualify you to be commander in chief. I think [[George W. Bush|George Bush]] has proved definitively that to be president, you don’t need to care about science, literature or peace.
** [http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/14/opinion/14dowd.html &quot;A Mock Columnist, Amok&quot;], in ''The New York Times'' (14 October 2007)

* While skin and race are often synonymous, skin cleansing is good, race cleansing is bad.
** &quot;A Mock Columnist, Amok&quot;, in ''The New York Times'' (14 October 2007)

* '''Well, I thought it was funny.'''
** A six-word autobiography, ''[http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/theampersand/archive/2007/12/13/six-word-memoir-contest-explodes-read-ten-of-the-best-first-fifty-entries.aspx NationalPost.com],'' (13 December 2007)

* I '''''teach''''' [[Sunday School]], motherfucker.
** Interviewing [[w:Stanford|Stanford University]] professor emeritus [[w:Philip Zimbardo|Dr. Philip Zimbardo]], author of the book ''The Lucifer Effect''. After an increasingly heated debate on the problem of [[w:Theodicy|theodicy]], Colbert sets the record straight responding to Zimbardo's slightly sarcastically charged &quot;Obviously you learned well in Sunday School&quot;. [http://www.comedycentral.com/motherload/player.jhtml?ml_video=149094&amp;ml_collection=&amp;ml_gateway=&amp;ml_gateway_id=&amp;ml_comedian=&amp;ml_runtime=&amp;ml_context=show&amp;ml_origin_url=%2Fmotherload%2F%3Flnk%3Dv%26ml_video%3D149094&amp;ml_playlist=&amp;lnk=&amp;is_large=true ''The Colbert Report''] (11 February 2008)

* It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.
** In response to a question about what he would put into a [[Jon Stewart]] Ben &amp; Jerry's ice cream flavor, University of Buffalo Distinguished Speakers Series (4 April 2008)

* Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a sub-prime fish loan and you're in business, buddy.
**A parody of the &quot;[[English_proverbs#Give_a_man_a_fish|Give a man a fish...]]&quot; proverb alluding to the [[w:Subprime mortgage crisis|subprime mortgage crisis]] of the aughts on ''The Colbert Report'' (14 May 2008)

* '''The [[w:New York Stock Exchange|market]] is not finished. The market still has over nine thousand points to drop.''' We'll get to Christmas at least.
** On the [[w:Financial crisis of 2008|Financial crisis of 2008]] ''The Colbert Report'' (6 October 2008)

* '''If you don't give power to the words that people throw at you to hurt you, they don't hurt you anymore — and you actually have power over those people.''' … So, if you can, realize that the things that people say about you — they don't really matter — it's who you are. '''And the older you get, the more you'll understand that  — because it gets better. And people get nicer too.'''
** [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BThRZbCs-p8 Stephen Colbert - It Gets Better (13 July 2011)]

* '''Accountability is meaningless unless it's for everybody,''' whether it's the leader of the network or the leader of the free world.
** Addressing [[w:Me Too movement|problems on sexual misconduct in the workplace]], and holding people [[w:Accountability|accountable]]. ''[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKa5u6mX05o The Late Show with Stephen Colbert]'' (31 July 2018)

* The message of Christ isn't that you can't kill me. The message of Christ is you can kill me and that's not death.
** Interview with Joe Hagan appearing in ''Vanity Fair'', October 2020

* When you’re in this room, I don’t know how to describe it. It’s soaked in history. It just washes over you. I mean, it’s not even like it’s in the past. You’re in history. You’re in it.
** &quot;[https://www.huffpost.com/entry/stephen-colbert-adam-schiff-pee-tape_n_616e2de7e4b00cb3cbd6ead0   Stephen Colbert Tells Rep. Adam Schiff What Russian Oligarch Revealed About Trump 'Pee Tape']&quot; (2021?)+videos

* '''There once was a man in Nantucket&lt;br&gt;Whose poll numbers really did suck it;&lt;br&gt;At least he is not&lt;br&gt;That orange pol pot&lt;br&gt;Who ate all his meals from a bucket.'''
** Limerick from his [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8qFuh-qNaE opening monologue] of ''{{w|The Late Show with Stephen Colbert}}'' of 25 November 2021, after reading about [[President Biden]]'s revival of his family's tradition of visiting Nantucket at Thanksgiving.

=== [[w:Stephen Colbert at the 2006 White House Correspondents' Association Dinner|White House Correspondents' Association Dinner (April 2006)]] ===
[[File:20061005-6 p100506pm-397-598v.jpg|thumb|right|Somebody pinch me.]]
[[File:Bush-USS-Lincoln.jpg|thumb|right|No matter what happens to America, she will always rebound — with the most powerfully staged [[wikipedia:Photo op|photo ops]] in the world.]]
[[File:FOX News Channel Stand.jpg|thumb|right|As excited as I am to be here with the president, I am appalled to be surrounded by the liberal media that is destroying America — with the exception of ''Fox News''.]]
[[File:BushFamily-Nov2-2004.jpg|thumb|right|I just like the guy. He's a good joe. Obviously loves his wife, calls her his better half, and polls show America agrees.]]
:&lt;small&gt;Address at the Hilton Washington hotel, Washington, D.C. (29 April 2006) &lt;/small&gt;

* '''Before I get started, if anybody needs anything else at their tables, just speak slowly and clearly into your table numbers.''' Someone from the [[wikipedia:National Security Agency|NSA]] will be right over with a cocktail.

* I believe democracy is our greatest export. At least until China figures out a way to stamp it out of plastic for three cents a unit.

* '''I believe in America. I believe it exists.''' My gut tells me I live there. I ''feel'' that it extends from the Atlantic to the Pacific, and I ''strongly'' believe it has 50 states. And I cannot ''wait'' to see how the Washington Post spins that one tomorrow.

* That's where the truth lies, right down here in the gut. Do you know you have more nerve endings in your gut than you have in your head? You can look it up. I know some of you are going to say &quot;I did look it up, and that's not true.&quot; That's 'cause you looked it up in a book. Next time, look it up in your gut. I did. My gut tells me that's how our nervous system works.

* '''Somebody pinch me.''' You know what? I'm a pretty sound sleeper, that may not be enough. '''Somebody [[w:Dick Cheney hunting incident|shoot me in the face]].''' Is [[w:Dick Cheney|he]] really not here tonight? Dammit.
**Expressing his awe at being so close to the president.

* I believe it's yogurt, but '''[[w:I Can't Believe It's Not Butter|I refuse to believe it's not butter.]]'''

* '''I stand by this man. I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands ''on'' things.''' Things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound — with the ''most powerfully staged [[w:Photo op|photo ops]] in the world.''

* [[Ray Nagin|Mayor Nagin]] is here from New Orleans, the chocolate city... Mayor Nagin, I'd like to welcome you to Washington D.C., the chocolate city with a marshmallow center, and a graham cracker crust of corruption. It's a [[w:Chocolate-coated marshmallow treats#Mallomars|Mallomar]] I guess is what I'm describing.

* '''I believe the government that governs best is the government that governs least. And by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government [[w:Government of Iraq from 2006|in Iraq]].'''

* I've got a theory about how to handle these retired generals causing all this trouble: '''Don't let them retire!''' Come on, we've got a [[w:Stop-loss policy|stop-loss program]]; let's use it on these guys. I've seen [[w:Anthony Zinni|Zinni]] and that crowd on [[w:Wolf Blitzer|Wolf Blitzer]]. If you're strong enough to go on one of those pundit shows, you're strong enough to stand on a bank of computers and order men into battle. Come on.

* '''I give people the truth, unfiltered by rational argument. I call it the &quot;No Fact Zone&quot;.''' ''[[w:Fox News|Fox News]]'', I hold a copyright on that term.

* I know there are some polls out there saying this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in &quot;reality.&quot; '''And reality has a well-known liberal bias.'''

* Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it's 2/3 empty. There's still some liquid in that glass, is my point. But I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash.

* [[Jesse Jackson]] is here. I had him on the show. Very interesting and challenging interview. You can ask him anything, but he’s going to say what he wants at the pace that he wants. It's like boxing a [[w:Glacier|glacier]]. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is.

* '''As excited as I am to be here with the president, I am appalled to be surrounded by the liberal media that is destroying America — with the exception of ''Fox News''.''' ''Fox News'' gives you both sides of every story: the president's side, and the vice president's side. But the rest of you, what are you thinking, reporting on NSA wiretapping or secret prisons in eastern Europe? Those things are secret for a very important reason: they're super-depressing. And if that's your goal, well, misery accomplished. '''Over the last five years you people were so good — over tax cuts, WMD intelligence, the effect of global warming. We Americans didn't want to know, and you had the courtesy not to try to find out. Those were good times, as far as we knew.'''

* But, listen, let's review the rules. Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the Decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. '''Make, announce, type.''' Just put 'em through a spell check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. '''You know — ''fiction''.'''

* Then you write, &quot;Oh, they're just [[w:Rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic|rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic]].&quot; First of all, that is a terrible metaphor. This administration is not sinking. This administration is ''soaring''. '''If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on the ''[[w:Hindenburg disaster|Hindenburg]]''.'''

* The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. '''He believes the same thing Wednesday that he believed on Monday — no matter what happened [[w: September 11 attacks|Tuesday]].'''

* And though I am a committed Christian, '''I believe that everyone has the right to their own religion — be you Hindu, Jewish, or Muslim, I believe there are infinite paths to accepting [[Jesus Christ]] as your personal savior.'''

* By the way, Mr. President, thank you for agreeing to be on my show. I was just as shocked as everyone here is, I promise you. How's Tuesday for you? I've got [[w:Frank Rich|Frank Rich]], but we can bump him. And I mean ''bump him''. I know a guy. Say the word.

* Ambassador [[w:Zhou Wenzhong|Zhou Wenzhong]], welcome! Your great country [of China] makes our Happy Meals possible!

* '''I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I believe it is possible — I saw this guy do it once in [[w:Cirque du Soleil|Cirque du Soleil]].''' It was magical.

* Who's Britannica to tell me that the Panama Canal was built in 1914? If I want to say that it was built in 1941, that's my ''right'' as an ''American''.

* '''And I just like the guy. He's a good joe. Obviously loves his wife, calls her his better half, and polls show America agrees.'''
** On [[George W. Bush]].

=== [[w:58th Primetime Emmy Awards|58th Primetime Emmy Awards]] (August 2006)===
[[File:Stephen Colbert at 2008 Emmy Awards.jpg|thumb|right|Good evening, godless sodomites.]]
:&lt;small&gt; Shrine Auditorium, Los Angeles, California (27 August 2006)&lt;/small&gt;
:''[presenting the award for best reality/competition show]''
:'''[[Jon Stewart]]''': Thank you very much, it's a pleasure to be here tonight.
:'''Stephen Colbert''': Good evening, godless sodomites.
:'''Stewart''': ''[pause]'' What're you — what're you doing?
:'''Colbert''': I'm bringing the truth, Jon. We're in Hollywood, the belly of the beast.
:'''Stewart''': You can't just — you can't just read the prompter?
:'''Colbert''': I'm reading the prompter in here. ''[points to his heart]'' You can read that pablum.
:'''Stewart''': Award-show banter is not pablum! ''[reading from the prompter; reluctantly]'' &quot;Reality television celebrates the human condition... by ''[mumbling]'' illuminating what's extraordinary in the ordinary person.&quot;
:'''Colbert''': ''[firmly]'' It warps the mind of our children and weakens the resolve of our allies.
:'''Stewart''': ''[still mumbling]'' &quot;The results are often dramatic and always unexpected. We're here to honor achievement in that category.&quot;
:'''Colbert''': By giving you a golden idol to worship! ''[points at the giant Emmy statue next to the stage]'' KNEEL BEFORE YOUR GOD, BABYLON!
:'''Stewart''': This is, uh... this is about the Manilow thing, isn't it?
:'''Colbert''': I lost to [[w:Barry Manilow|BARRY MANILOW]]! Barry Manilow! I lost to the Copacabana! Singing and dancing is not &quot;performing&quot;! Wolverine I could've lost to — he's got claws for hands!
:'''Stewart''': All right.
:'''Colbert''': Can I hold one of yours?
:'''Stewart''': No! The nominees are...
:*Earlier in the evening, Colbert had been beaten in the [[w:58th Primetime Emmy Awards#Outstanding Individual Performance in a Variety or Music Program|Outstanding Individual Performance]] category by Barry Manilow.

=== [[w:The O'Reilly Factor|The O'Reilly Factor]], January 2007 ===
:'''Stephen:''' I spend so much time in the world that is spinning all the time, that to be in the no-spin zone actually gives me vertigo.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Stephen:''' They're ''[[w:New York Times|New York Times]]'', [[Bill O'Reilly (commentator)|Bill]]! They hate [[George W. Bush|George Bush]], of course they're gonna hate you! They're haters, Bill!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Stephen:''' We on my show, and by &quot;we&quot; I mean ME!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Stephen:''' Absolutely! You have to be high to understand [[Jon Stewart]].

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Stephen:''' I do fear bears. They're giant, marauding, Godless killing machines!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Stephen:''' You know what I hate about people who criticize you? They criticize what you say, but they never give you credit for how loud you say it. Or how long you say it.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Stephen:''' I wanna thank you for not asking me about that thing we pre-agreed you wouldn't ask me about.

=== 2022 ===
* The other stunner that came out of the [[w:United States House Select Committee on the January 6 Attack|committee hearings]] was what the committee called the &quot;big ripoff&quot;. [[Trump|The former president]] raised a quarter of a billion dollars off the big-lie, for a so-called &quot;election defense fund&quot;,  that investigators say, never existed... and this time we promise NO FRAUD.
** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIAnSN_8fh0The Fight The Fraud Of The Former Fight The Fraud, Which Fought The Fraud Of The First Fraud Fund] (via [[YouTube]] video 46,288 viewsJun 15, 2022)

=== 2023 ===
* Yes, we all know the famous saying: where there’s smoke, there’s success.
** [https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2023/feb/21/stephen-colbert-late-night-recap-biden-kyiv-visit Stephen Colbert on Biden’s Kyiv visit: ‘Like your dad meeting your boyfriend’] (Last modified on Tue 21 Feb 2023 18.30 GMT)

=== 2024 ===
* He took showers with the other pros...
** [[Donald Trump]] talking on  [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfI_6XMxftE Trump Offers TMI About Arnold Palmer] (October 21, 2024) a [[YouTube]] video

* Hey, there. How are you doing? If you watch [[this show]] regularly, I'm guessing you're not doing great. Yeah, me neither. You know, uh, today? Uh, some people said to me, &quot;Sorry you have to do a show tonight.&quot; Which is nice of them to say, but I don't ''have'' to do a show, I ''get'' to do a show tonight. I'm so grateful to be with all of these talented people -- those people over here, those people that you'll never see... With the audience in the [[Ed Sullivan]], with you people at home? Because, especially at times like this, what do we most want to be? Not alone. So thanks for being here. Uh, we're gonna do a [[comedy]] show, it's a comedy show, we're gonna do some [[jokes]] in just a minute. Uh, 'cause that's what we do. And I'll let you in on a little secret: No one gets into [[this business]] because everything in their life worked out ''great''. So we're built for rough roads.
** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xbj3xXSPTXY  You Are Not Alone / The World Reacts To America's Decision] (November 6, 2024) a [[YouTube]] video

* The first time [[Donald Trump]] was elected, he started as a joke and ended as a tragedy. This time, he ''starts'' as a tragedy. Who knows what he'll end as?
** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNX5OPkrfZk Plunging Back Into The Trump Hole | VP Harris Concedes | We Know What's Coming] (November 6, 2024) a [[YouTube]] video

* This is ''rough''. Last time Trump won, it felt like a grotesque fluke. This time, America knew exactly what they were getting and they went hard for him anyway. It's like that famous quote: &quot;[[George Santayana|Those who do not learn from history]]... are me! Hey, that's me! Which reminds me, I wanted to look something up. Hey Google, did [[Joe Biden]] drop out of the election?&quot;
** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNX5OPkrfZk Plunging Back Into The Trump Hole | VP Harris Concedes | We Know What's Coming] (November 6, 2024) a [[YouTube]] video

=== 2025 ===
[[File:LateshowDSC00594.jpg|thumb|Next year will be our last season. The network will be ending [[w:The Late Show with Stephen Colbert|''The Late Show'']] in May. And… Yeah — ''I share your [[feelings]]'' — It's not just the end of our show, but it's the end of [[w:The Late Show (franchise)|''The Late Show'' on CBS]]. I'm not being replaced — ''this is all just going away.'']]
* Oh, hey everybody. We got a great show for you tonight. &lt;br /&gt; Senator [[Adam Schiff]] was my guest. We harmonized on [[w:Seven Bridges Road|Seven Bridges Road]]. What a voice. I cried. &lt;br /&gt;  But before we start the show, I want to let you know something that I found out just last night. Next year will be our last season. The network will be ending [[w:The Late Show with Stephen Colbert|''The Late Show'']] in May. And… Yeah — ''I share your [[feelings]]'' — It's not just the end of our show, but it's the end of [[w:The Late Show (franchise)|''The Late Show'' on CBS]]. I'm not being replaced — ''this is all just going away.'' &lt;br /&gt; And I do want to say… I do want to say that the folks at CBS have been great partners. I'm so grateful to the Tiffany Network for giving me this chair and this beautiful theater to call home. &lt;br /&gt;  And of course, I'm [[grateful]] to you, the [[audience]], who have joined us every night in here, out there, all around the [[world]], Mr. and Mrs. [[America]], and all the ships at [[sea]].&lt;br /&gt;  I'm grateful to share the stage with this band, these artists over here every night. And I am extraordinarily deeply grateful to the 200 people who work here. We get to do this show. We get to do this show for each other every day, all day. And I've had the pleasure and the responsibility of sharing what we do every day with you in front of this camera for the last 10 years. &lt;br /&gt;  And let me tell you, it is a fantastic [[job]]. I wish somebody else was getting it. And it's a job that I'm looking forward to doing with this usual gang of idiots for another 10 months. It's going to be [[fun]]. … ''Y'all [[ready]]?''
** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuqEZx6TmfI&amp;list=PLiZxWe0ejyv-pWVMMN05_1Bxltk8xL41a &quot;Stephen Colbert announces the cancellation of ''The Late Show''&quot; (17 July 2025)]

* It’s a great day to be me because I am not Donald Trump.  
* Over the weekend it sunk in that they’re killing off our show.  But they made one mistake: They left me alive!
* Would an untalented man be able to compose the following satirical witticism?: Go f-ck yourself.
* I can finally speak unvarnished truth to power and say what I really think about Donald Trump—starting right now.  I don’t care for him. Doesn’t seem to have, like, the skill-set to be President. Just not a good fit, you know?
* It’s not a great look when you fly on the pedophile’s plane enough times to earn diamond pervert status.
** [https://time.com/7305512/stephen-colbert-post-cancellation-monologues/ &quot;Stephen Colbert Is Practically Daring CBS to Shut Him Down Early&quot;] ''Time Magazine'' (July 25, 2025)

* If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition ... and then admit that we just don't want to do it.
** [https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/us-christian-quote-stephen-colbert/ &quot;Real Stephen Colbert quote about US being 'Christian nation that doesn't help the poor'?&quot;] ''Snopes'' (August 4, 2025)

=== 2026 ===
* Folks, we have done over 1800 of these shows. And most nights, I come out here and I talk to the audience beforehand. And tonight, I thought I'd talk to the audience in here and the audience out there at home. This show -- I want you to know and you to know -- has been a joy for us to do for you. In fact, we call this show the Joy Machine! Alright? Lewis stole it from us and we are currently in litigation right now... You better lawyer up, buddy. We call it the Joy Machine because, to do this many shows, it has to be a machine. But the thing is, if you choose to do it with joy, it doesn't hurt as much when your fingers get caught in the gears. And I cannot adequately explain to you what the people who work here have done for each other and how much we mean to each other, so I would just say... So I would just say to them, you are all [[Ulysses (novel)|the great Achilles, whom we knew]]. Now, on night one of ''[[The Colbert Report]]'' back in the day, I said &quot;Anyone can read the news to you. I promise to feel the news at you.&quot; And, uh... I realized pretty soon, in this job, that our job over here was different; we were here to feel the news ''with'' you. And I don't know about you, but I sure have felt it. And I just want to let all y'all know in here and out there how important you've been to what we have done. The energy that you've given us, we sincerely need that to have done the best possible show we could've for you, for the last eleven years. You've given it to us, we've given it all right back to you. What would you call that, Louis? ''['''Louis Cato''': I would call that a reciprocal emotional relationship.]'' That's exactly right, because we love doing this show for you. But what we really, really love is doing the show with you. Now, I'll say to you what I've said to every audience for the last eleven years, and I have meant it every time: Have a good show, thanks for being here, and let's do it, y'all.
** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_SVdzTXdnE A Reciprocal Emotional Relationship - Colbert's Series Finale Begins With A Message For His Audience (May 21, 2026)]

==Quotes about Colbert==
[[File:Tim &amp; Stephen hanging out for a minute..png|thumb|right|He was always the smartest guy in the room, and he was always smart enough not to let you know he was the smartest guy in the room. ~ Scott Wherry]]

* I was motivated to play [[w:Dungeons &amp; Dragons|Dungeons &amp; Dragons]]. I mean highly, highly motivated to play it. Every day, if I could find someone to play with me. If I couldn't find someone to play with me, I would work on my player character.
* I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way. But, in sort of a James Bond-ian kind of explosives in the gas tank of his car kind of way.
:*Stephen Colbert [http://www.ign.com/articles/2003/08/11/an-interview-with-stephen-colbert An interview with Stephen Colbert]

*'''He's like a living wall of encyclopedias that like to drink beer.'''
**[[w:Paul Dinello|Paul Dinello]], quoted in ''Current Biography'' article, (November 2006)

* It's one thing for an asshole to play an asshole. But your basic decency can't be hidden.
**[[Jon Stewart]], speaking to Colbert, in [http://www.rollingstone.com/tv/news/americas-anchors-20061116 &quot;America's Anchors&quot; in ''Rolling Stone'' (31 October 2006)]

* '''Part of the joy of being in character is being able to get away with things others cannot.''' Though a lot of that is that [he] is so high on Nyquil you never know what he's going to do.
**Jon Stewart, [http://www.nofactzone.net/?p=1384 ''Philadelphia Inquirer'' interview] (22 April 2007)]

* '''He's able to create a universe where something surreal happens on the program that seems ordinary, and all of a sudden the absurd appears not mundane but expected, organic...''' So he can have a conversation with [[w:Richard Holbrooke|Richard Holbrooke]] and [[Willie Nelson]] and it all makes perfect sense and yet it couldn't appear anywhere else without appearing burlesque. '''Somehow he has managed to create a fake world that has impacted and found standing in the real world.'''
**Jon Stewart, [http://www.vanityfair.com/fame/features/2007/10/colbert200710?currentPage=2 ''Vanity Fair'' interview],( October 2007)

* '''The thing about Colbert is he's fucking brilliant... He was always the smartest guy in the room, and he was always smart enough not to let you know he was the smartest guy in the room.'''
**Scott Wherry, a long-time friend, in ''[[w:Vanity Fair|Vanity Fair]]'' (October 2007)

* His humor is an accumulation of the eccentricities, mannerisms and jokes of his ten older brothers and sisters, a medley that trickled down.
**''Colbert Report'' staffer, in [http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/12271521/cover_story_americas_anchors_jon_stewart_and_stephen_colbert/print &quot;America's Anchors&quot; in ''Rolling Stone'' (31 October 2006)]

* Stephen used to play a manic conservative, and now, he plays a depressed liberal. ''That'' is range, ladies and gentlemen.
** [[Julia Louis-Dreyfus]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nfe2MoPDdkM 2018 Mark Twain Prize Ceremony] (21 October 2018)

== Video clips ==
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5vcgT-Ud4c President Bill Clinton Reconsiders His #MeToo Comments] (Jun 6, 2018 on [[Youtube]])
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7yF8KJwR0c Shock Noms: Trump Picks [[Gaetz]], [[Hegseth]], [[Huckabee]], [[Gabbard]] | Biden &amp; Trump’s Cordial [[WH]] Meeting] (Nov 13, 2024 on [[Youtube]])

==See also==
* ''[[The Colbert Report]]''
* ''[[The Daily Show]]''
* ''[[I Am America (And So Can You!)]]''
* ''[[Strangers With Candy]]''
* ''[[Wigfield]]''

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}

* {{imdb name|id=0170306|name=Stephen Colbert}}
* {{imdb title|id=0166039|name=Exit 57}}
* [http://www.colbertnation.com Colbert Nation]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Colbert, Stephen}}
[[Category:Actors from Washington, D.C.]]
[[Category:Comedians from the United States]]
[[Category:Hampden–Sydney College alumni]]
[[Category:Television personalities]]
[[Category:Producers from the United States]]
[[Category:Novelists from the United States]]
[[Category:Satirists from the United States]]
[[Category:Critics from the United States]]
[[Category:Feminists]]
[[Category:1964 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:United States presidential candidates, 2008]]
[[Category:Catholics from the United States]]
[[Category:Primetime Emmy Award winners]]</text>
      <sha1>j307uo8h9xh0qz72ofi3lls764ibp34</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944111</id>
      <parentid>3944110</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T02:47:58Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UnknownMorsel</username>
        <id>3106105</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* 2026 */</comment>
      <origin>3944111</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="40959" sha1="8ycag6tr2thq6q7zqdcz4nrrialyqxh" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Stephen Colbert 2023.jpg|thumb|Stephen Colbert in 2023]]
[[File:Stephen Colbert 2 by David Shankbone.jpg|thumb|right|[[Reality]] has a well-[[known]] [[liberal]] [[bias]].]]
[[File:Stephen Colbert 4 by David Shankbone.jpg|thumb|right|Well, I [[thought]] it was [[funny]].]]
'''[[w:Stephen Colbert|Stephen Tyrone Colbert]]''' (born [[13 May]] [[1964]]) is an American satirist, comedian, writer, actor, and television host most famous for his work on ''[[w:The Daily Show|The Daily Show]]'', ''[[w:The Colbert Report|The Colbert Report]]'' from 2005 to 2014 where he portrays a parody of conservative media pundits, and ''[[w:The Late Show with Stephen Colbert|The Late Show with Stephen Colbert]]'' since 2015. He graduated from [[w:Northwestern University|Northwestern University]] in 1986, and appeared in the films ''Nobody Knows Anything!'' (2003), ''Snow Days'' (1999), and ''Shock Asylum'' (1997). In 1995, Colbert made his TV debut on Comedy Central in ''[[w:Exit 57|Exit 57]]'' and was later on the show ''[[w:Strangers with Candy|Strangers with Candy]]''. Colbert did voice work for &quot;The Ambiguously Gay Duo&quot; on ''[[w:Saturday Night Live|Saturday Night Live]]'' as the voice of Ace, and also provided the voices of &quot;Myron Reducto&quot;, &quot;Phil Ken Sebben&quot;, and &quot;The Eagle Of Truth&quot; on ''[[w:Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law|Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law]].''

== Quotes ==
[[File:Stephen Colbert.jpg|thumb|right|I think of him as well intentioned, poorly [[informed]], high status [[idiot]].]]
[[File:Stephen Colbert in May 2008 No 2.jpg|thumb|right|Don’t be [[afraid]] to be a [[fool]]. ... [[Cynicism]] masquerades as [[wisdom]], but it is the farthest thing from it.]]
[[File:Truthiness comic.jpg|thumb|right|In the [[Wikipedia]] age, everybody can be an expert in five minutes.]]
[[File:Stephen Colbert at FSU Pow Wow.jpg|thumb|right|We claim no [[respectability]]. There's no status I would not surrender for a [[joke]].]]
[[File:Time 100 Stephen Colbert and wife.jpg|thumb|right|I don't perceive my role as a newsman at all. I'm a [[comedian]] from stem to stern.]]
[[File:Stephen Colbert by David Shankbone.jpg|thumb|right|You can’t [[laugh]] and be [[afraid]] at the same [[time]]—of anything. If you're laughing, I defy you to be afraid.]]
[[File:Stephen Colbert at Rally.jpg|thumb|right|If you don't give [[power]] to the [[words]] that [[people]] throw at you to [[hurt]] you, they don't hurt you anymore — and you actually have power over those people.]]

*'''I didn't realize quite how [[liberal]] I was''' until I was asked to make passionate comedic choices as opposed to necessarily successful comedic choices.
** [https://www.npr.org/2005/01/24/4464017/a-fake-newsmans-fake-newsman-stephen-colbert &quot;Fresh Air&quot; NPR interview] (24 January 2005)

*(on Alex Jones) He is a terrible person who lies for a living.
**&quot;The Tonight Show,&quot; May 19, 2017.

* Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.
** &quot;The Colbert Report,&quot; November 12, 2009.

* Such a proud moment of professionalism. You work for years crafting cogent [[satire|satirical]] essays and the thing that everybody remembers is me making love to a Chiquita and bursting into [[laughter]]. What you can't see off camera is Jon started laughing first. '''And then I'm weak. As much as I want to make the audience laugh, I ''really'' want to make Jon laugh.'''
**[http://www.jerriblank.com/colbert_ew.html ''Entertainment Weekly'' interview], August 13, 2004, on his character break during the infamous Prince Charles sketch on ''The Daily Show''.

* My character is self-important, poorly informed, well-intentioned, but an idiot… So we said, &quot;Let's give him a promotion.&quot;
** &quot;Colbert spoofs cable news on Daily Show spinoff&quot; Associated Press report (31 October 2005)

* '''[[w:Truthiness|Truthiness]] is tearing apart our country''', and I don't mean the argument over who came up with the word. I don't know whether it's a new thing, but it's certainly a current thing, in that it doesn't seem to matter what facts are. '''It used to be, everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. But that's not the case anymore. Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything. It's certainty.''' People love the president because he's certain of his choices as a leader, even if the facts that back him up don't seem to exist. It's the fact that he's certain that is very appealing to a certain section of the country. I really feel a dichotomy in the American populace. What is important? What you want to be true, or what ''is'' true?
**[http://www.avclub.com/article/stephen-colbert-13970 ''AV Club'' interview], (25 January 2006)

* '''I think of him as well intentioned, poorly informed, high status idiot.'''
** On his character in ''The Colbert Report'', in an interview on [http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/04/27/60minutes/main1553506.shtml ''60 Minutes''] (30 April 2006)

* You said the war would pay for itself in fruit baskets. You said that our soldiers would march in the streets of Havana and people would shower them with bananas and cigars. That didn’t happen. Would you like to look into the camera and apologize to the American people? 
** One of his questions to President [[Theodore Roosevelt]] in his series &lt;i&gt;Better Know A President&lt;/i&gt; on &lt;i&gt;The Colbert Report&lt;/i&gt;[http://www.nofactzone.net/?p=1788] (17 May 2006)

* '''Don’t be afraid to be a fool.''' Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. '''Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it.''' Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. '''Cynics always say no. But saying yes begins things. Saying yes is how things grow. Saying yes leads to knowledge. &quot;Yes&quot; is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say yes.'''
**[https://web.archive.org/web/20110528134503/http://departments.knox.edu/newsarchive/news_events/2006/x12547.html Knox College commencement address] (3 June 2006)

* '''But you have one thing that may save you, and that is your youth. This is your great strength. It is also why I hate and fear you.''' Hear me out. It has been said that children are our future. But does that not also mean that we are their past? You are here to replace us. I don't understand why we're here helping and honoring them. You do not see union workers holding benefits for robots.
** Knox College commencement address (3 June 2006)

* If I want to say he didn't that's my right, and now, thanks to Wikipedia — it's also a fact.
** On the ownership of slaves by [[George Washington]], on ''The Colbert Report'' (31 July 2006).

* Get your own entry in an encyclopedia... '''In the media age, everybody was famous for 15 minutes. In the Wikipedia age, everybody can be an expert in five minutes.''' Special bonus: You can edit your own entry to make yourself seem even smarter.
**[http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/14.08/colbert.html ''Wired Magazine'' article] (14 August 2006)

* Well folks, it's October and you know what that means: only a few more weeks 'til Hallowe'en when my family traditionally puts up our Christmas decorations. People come from far and wide to visit our haunted manger. We make their kids stick their hands in a spoooky bowl of Frankincense!! It's actually just spaghetti.
** On ''The Colbert Report'' (28 September 2006). Video available at [http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/76103/september-28-2006/the-blitzkrieg-on-grinchitude ''Colbert Nation'']

* '''Language has always been important in politics, but language is incredibly important to the present political struggle.''' Because if you can establish an atmosphere in which information doesn't mean anything, then there is no objective reality. The first show we did, a year ago, was our thesis statement: What you wish to be true is all that matters, regardless of the facts. '''Of course, at the time, we thought we were being farcical.'''
**[http://nymag.com/news/politics/22322/ ''New York Magazine'' interview] (16 October 2006)

* '''I have tender feelings for [[Richard Nixon|Nixon]], because everybody has warm feelings about their childhood.''' Actually, I didn't like the Watergate trials 'cause they interrupted ''[[The Munsters]]''... Nixon was the last liberal president. He supported women's rights, the environment, ending the draft, youth involvement, and now he's the boogeyman? [[John Kerry|Kerry]] couldn't even run on that today.
**[http://www.rollingstone.com/movies/news/americas-anchors-20061116?page=3 ''Rolling Stone'' interview] (31 October 2006)

* '''We claim no respectability. There's no status I would not surrender for a joke.''' So we don't have to defend anything.
**''Rolling Stone'' interview (31 October 2006)

* '''I don't perceive my role as a newsman at all. I'm a comedian from stem to stern.''' You can cut me open and count the rings of jokes. If people learn something about the news by watching the show, that is incidental to my goal.
** When asked what he perceives his role to be, given that many young people claim to get their news from ''The Daily Show'' and ''The Colbert Report'', on newsman.[http://ksgaccman.harvard.edu/iop/events_forum_video.asp?ID=3051 &quot;Harvard University: A Conversation with Stephen Colbert&quot;] (1 December 2006).

* '''Answer honestly... Disabuse me of my ignorance.''' Don’t let me get away with anything. Don’t try to play my game. Be real. Be passionate. Hold your ideas. Give me resistance. Give me traction I can work against. The friction between reality, or the truly held concerns of the person, and the farcical concerns that I have, or my need to seem important, as opposed to actually understanding what’s true... Where those two things meet is where the comedy happens. '''So be real. That's the best thing you can do.''' And call me on my bullshit.
** On how he would recommend ''Colbert Report'' guests approach interviews, on ''A Conversation with Stephen Colbert'' (1 December 2006).

* '''I would say laughter is the best medicine. But it’s more than that. It’s an entire regime of antibiotics and steroids.''' Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche, and then applies an antibiotic cream... Obviously, it’s a challenge to make light of the darkness but, um, it’s better than crying about it.
**[http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20006490,00.html ''Entertainment Weekly'' interview] (4 January 2007)

* '''I'm surprised at the reaction it got. I went down there and did exactly what I wanted. I didn't expect it to be some sort of cultural-political line in the sand.''' I did the style of jokes I'd been doing for six months. The fact that anybody found it surprising or alarming that I would do that was educational to me.
** On the reaction to his performance at the White House Correspondents' Dinner, in ''Entertainment Weekly'' (4 January 2007)

* At Pottery Barn, if you knock over a lamp, you have to glue it back together, even if when you're done it looks terrible and it doesn't work. Oh, and you have to stay in the store forever. Oh, and it's an exploding lamp.
**On the &quot;[[w:Pottery Barn rule|Pottery Barn Rule]],&quot; ''The Colbert Report'' (16 May 2007)

* We decided that my character had a pre-show tradition, like a ritual, which was to sing the lyrics to &quot;I Want You To Want Me&quot; by Cheap Trick into the mirror. Because, more than anything else, as much as he says he's bringing the truth, he just wants to be liked.
**[http://www.parade.com/celebrity/articles/070923-stephen-colbert.html ''Parade'' web exclusive interview] (19 September 2007)

* Not living in fear is a great gift, because certainly these days we do it so much. And do you know what I like about comedy? '''You can’t laugh and be afraid at the same time—of anything. If you're laughing, I defy you to be afraid.'''
** [http://www.parade.com/articles/editions/2007/edition_09-23-2007/AStephen_Colbert ''Parade'' interview] (23 September 2007)

* After acting for so many years, do you know who you are anymore? Because actors are liars basically, you lie about who you are to an audience.
** [[Stephen Colbert]] to Viggo Mortensen, [[The Colbert Report]] September 18, 2014

* We worked very hard to keep him from being a jerk by keeping in mind he's well intentioned. Just poorly informed. '''He wants to do the right thing but has none of the tools to achieve it. Because he has no curiosity, he doesn't like to read and he won't listen anybody, except the voices in his head.'''
** On his character in ''The Colbert Report'' in an interview on [http://www.cnn.com/CNN/Programs/larry.king.live/ ''Larry King Live'' (11 October 2007)]

* Winning the Nobel Prize does not automatically qualify you to be commander in chief. I think [[George W. Bush|George Bush]] has proved definitively that to be president, you don’t need to care about science, literature or peace.
** [http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/14/opinion/14dowd.html &quot;A Mock Columnist, Amok&quot;], in ''The New York Times'' (14 October 2007)

* While skin and race are often synonymous, skin cleansing is good, race cleansing is bad.
** &quot;A Mock Columnist, Amok&quot;, in ''The New York Times'' (14 October 2007)

* '''Well, I thought it was funny.'''
** A six-word autobiography, ''[http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/theampersand/archive/2007/12/13/six-word-memoir-contest-explodes-read-ten-of-the-best-first-fifty-entries.aspx NationalPost.com],'' (13 December 2007)

* I '''''teach''''' [[Sunday School]], motherfucker.
** Interviewing [[w:Stanford|Stanford University]] professor emeritus [[w:Philip Zimbardo|Dr. Philip Zimbardo]], author of the book ''The Lucifer Effect''. After an increasingly heated debate on the problem of [[w:Theodicy|theodicy]], Colbert sets the record straight responding to Zimbardo's slightly sarcastically charged &quot;Obviously you learned well in Sunday School&quot;. [http://www.comedycentral.com/motherload/player.jhtml?ml_video=149094&amp;ml_collection=&amp;ml_gateway=&amp;ml_gateway_id=&amp;ml_comedian=&amp;ml_runtime=&amp;ml_context=show&amp;ml_origin_url=%2Fmotherload%2F%3Flnk%3Dv%26ml_video%3D149094&amp;ml_playlist=&amp;lnk=&amp;is_large=true ''The Colbert Report''] (11 February 2008)

* It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.
** In response to a question about what he would put into a [[Jon Stewart]] Ben &amp; Jerry's ice cream flavor, University of Buffalo Distinguished Speakers Series (4 April 2008)

* Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a sub-prime fish loan and you're in business, buddy.
**A parody of the &quot;[[English_proverbs#Give_a_man_a_fish|Give a man a fish...]]&quot; proverb alluding to the [[w:Subprime mortgage crisis|subprime mortgage crisis]] of the aughts on ''The Colbert Report'' (14 May 2008)

* '''The [[w:New York Stock Exchange|market]] is not finished. The market still has over nine thousand points to drop.''' We'll get to Christmas at least.
** On the [[w:Financial crisis of 2008|Financial crisis of 2008]] ''The Colbert Report'' (6 October 2008)

* '''If you don't give power to the words that people throw at you to hurt you, they don't hurt you anymore — and you actually have power over those people.''' … So, if you can, realize that the things that people say about you — they don't really matter — it's who you are. '''And the older you get, the more you'll understand that  — because it gets better. And people get nicer too.'''
** [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BThRZbCs-p8 Stephen Colbert - It Gets Better (13 July 2011)]

* '''Accountability is meaningless unless it's for everybody,''' whether it's the leader of the network or the leader of the free world.
** Addressing [[w:Me Too movement|problems on sexual misconduct in the workplace]], and holding people [[w:Accountability|accountable]]. ''[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKa5u6mX05o The Late Show with Stephen Colbert]'' (31 July 2018)

* The message of Christ isn't that you can't kill me. The message of Christ is you can kill me and that's not death.
** Interview with Joe Hagan appearing in ''Vanity Fair'', October 2020

* When you’re in this room, I don’t know how to describe it. It’s soaked in history. It just washes over you. I mean, it’s not even like it’s in the past. You’re in history. You’re in it.
** &quot;[https://www.huffpost.com/entry/stephen-colbert-adam-schiff-pee-tape_n_616e2de7e4b00cb3cbd6ead0   Stephen Colbert Tells Rep. Adam Schiff What Russian Oligarch Revealed About Trump 'Pee Tape']&quot; (2021?)+videos

* '''There once was a man in Nantucket&lt;br&gt;Whose poll numbers really did suck it;&lt;br&gt;At least he is not&lt;br&gt;That orange pol pot&lt;br&gt;Who ate all his meals from a bucket.'''
** Limerick from his [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8qFuh-qNaE opening monologue] of ''{{w|The Late Show with Stephen Colbert}}'' of 25 November 2021, after reading about [[President Biden]]'s revival of his family's tradition of visiting Nantucket at Thanksgiving.

=== [[w:Stephen Colbert at the 2006 White House Correspondents' Association Dinner|White House Correspondents' Association Dinner (April 2006)]] ===
[[File:20061005-6 p100506pm-397-598v.jpg|thumb|right|Somebody pinch me.]]
[[File:Bush-USS-Lincoln.jpg|thumb|right|No matter what happens to America, she will always rebound — with the most powerfully staged [[wikipedia:Photo op|photo ops]] in the world.]]
[[File:FOX News Channel Stand.jpg|thumb|right|As excited as I am to be here with the president, I am appalled to be surrounded by the liberal media that is destroying America — with the exception of ''Fox News''.]]
[[File:BushFamily-Nov2-2004.jpg|thumb|right|I just like the guy. He's a good joe. Obviously loves his wife, calls her his better half, and polls show America agrees.]]
:&lt;small&gt;Address at the Hilton Washington hotel, Washington, D.C. (29 April 2006) &lt;/small&gt;

* '''Before I get started, if anybody needs anything else at their tables, just speak slowly and clearly into your table numbers.''' Someone from the [[wikipedia:National Security Agency|NSA]] will be right over with a cocktail.

* I believe democracy is our greatest export. At least until China figures out a way to stamp it out of plastic for three cents a unit.

* '''I believe in America. I believe it exists.''' My gut tells me I live there. I ''feel'' that it extends from the Atlantic to the Pacific, and I ''strongly'' believe it has 50 states. And I cannot ''wait'' to see how the Washington Post spins that one tomorrow.

* That's where the truth lies, right down here in the gut. Do you know you have more nerve endings in your gut than you have in your head? You can look it up. I know some of you are going to say &quot;I did look it up, and that's not true.&quot; That's 'cause you looked it up in a book. Next time, look it up in your gut. I did. My gut tells me that's how our nervous system works.

* '''Somebody pinch me.''' You know what? I'm a pretty sound sleeper, that may not be enough. '''Somebody [[w:Dick Cheney hunting incident|shoot me in the face]].''' Is [[w:Dick Cheney|he]] really not here tonight? Dammit.
**Expressing his awe at being so close to the president.

* I believe it's yogurt, but '''[[w:I Can't Believe It's Not Butter|I refuse to believe it's not butter.]]'''

* '''I stand by this man. I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands ''on'' things.''' Things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound — with the ''most powerfully staged [[w:Photo op|photo ops]] in the world.''

* [[Ray Nagin|Mayor Nagin]] is here from New Orleans, the chocolate city... Mayor Nagin, I'd like to welcome you to Washington D.C., the chocolate city with a marshmallow center, and a graham cracker crust of corruption. It's a [[w:Chocolate-coated marshmallow treats#Mallomars|Mallomar]] I guess is what I'm describing.

* '''I believe the government that governs best is the government that governs least. And by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government [[w:Government of Iraq from 2006|in Iraq]].'''

* I've got a theory about how to handle these retired generals causing all this trouble: '''Don't let them retire!''' Come on, we've got a [[w:Stop-loss policy|stop-loss program]]; let's use it on these guys. I've seen [[w:Anthony Zinni|Zinni]] and that crowd on [[w:Wolf Blitzer|Wolf Blitzer]]. If you're strong enough to go on one of those pundit shows, you're strong enough to stand on a bank of computers and order men into battle. Come on.

* '''I give people the truth, unfiltered by rational argument. I call it the &quot;No Fact Zone&quot;.''' ''[[w:Fox News|Fox News]]'', I hold a copyright on that term.

* I know there are some polls out there saying this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in &quot;reality.&quot; '''And reality has a well-known liberal bias.'''

* Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it's 2/3 empty. There's still some liquid in that glass, is my point. But I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash.

* [[Jesse Jackson]] is here. I had him on the show. Very interesting and challenging interview. You can ask him anything, but he’s going to say what he wants at the pace that he wants. It's like boxing a [[w:Glacier|glacier]]. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is.

* '''As excited as I am to be here with the president, I am appalled to be surrounded by the liberal media that is destroying America — with the exception of ''Fox News''.''' ''Fox News'' gives you both sides of every story: the president's side, and the vice president's side. But the rest of you, what are you thinking, reporting on NSA wiretapping or secret prisons in eastern Europe? Those things are secret for a very important reason: they're super-depressing. And if that's your goal, well, misery accomplished. '''Over the last five years you people were so good — over tax cuts, WMD intelligence, the effect of global warming. We Americans didn't want to know, and you had the courtesy not to try to find out. Those were good times, as far as we knew.'''

* But, listen, let's review the rules. Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the Decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. '''Make, announce, type.''' Just put 'em through a spell check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. '''You know — ''fiction''.'''

* Then you write, &quot;Oh, they're just [[w:Rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic|rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic]].&quot; First of all, that is a terrible metaphor. This administration is not sinking. This administration is ''soaring''. '''If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on the ''[[w:Hindenburg disaster|Hindenburg]]''.'''

* The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. '''He believes the same thing Wednesday that he believed on Monday — no matter what happened [[w: September 11 attacks|Tuesday]].'''

* And though I am a committed Christian, '''I believe that everyone has the right to their own religion — be you Hindu, Jewish, or Muslim, I believe there are infinite paths to accepting [[Jesus Christ]] as your personal savior.'''

* By the way, Mr. President, thank you for agreeing to be on my show. I was just as shocked as everyone here is, I promise you. How's Tuesday for you? I've got [[w:Frank Rich|Frank Rich]], but we can bump him. And I mean ''bump him''. I know a guy. Say the word.

* Ambassador [[w:Zhou Wenzhong|Zhou Wenzhong]], welcome! Your great country [of China] makes our Happy Meals possible!

* '''I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I believe it is possible — I saw this guy do it once in [[w:Cirque du Soleil|Cirque du Soleil]].''' It was magical.

* Who's Britannica to tell me that the Panama Canal was built in 1914? If I want to say that it was built in 1941, that's my ''right'' as an ''American''.

* '''And I just like the guy. He's a good joe. Obviously loves his wife, calls her his better half, and polls show America agrees.'''
** On [[George W. Bush]].

=== [[w:58th Primetime Emmy Awards|58th Primetime Emmy Awards]] (August 2006)===
[[File:Stephen Colbert at 2008 Emmy Awards.jpg|thumb|right|Good evening, godless sodomites.]]
:&lt;small&gt; Shrine Auditorium, Los Angeles, California (27 August 2006)&lt;/small&gt;
:''[presenting the award for best reality/competition show]''
:'''[[Jon Stewart]]''': Thank you very much, it's a pleasure to be here tonight.
:'''Stephen Colbert''': Good evening, godless sodomites.
:'''Stewart''': ''[pause]'' What're you — what're you doing?
:'''Colbert''': I'm bringing the truth, Jon. We're in Hollywood, the belly of the beast.
:'''Stewart''': You can't just — you can't just read the prompter?
:'''Colbert''': I'm reading the prompter in here. ''[points to his heart]'' You can read that pablum.
:'''Stewart''': Award-show banter is not pablum! ''[reading from the prompter; reluctantly]'' &quot;Reality television celebrates the human condition... by ''[mumbling]'' illuminating what's extraordinary in the ordinary person.&quot;
:'''Colbert''': ''[firmly]'' It warps the mind of our children and weakens the resolve of our allies.
:'''Stewart''': ''[still mumbling]'' &quot;The results are often dramatic and always unexpected. We're here to honor achievement in that category.&quot;
:'''Colbert''': By giving you a golden idol to worship! ''[points at the giant Emmy statue next to the stage]'' KNEEL BEFORE YOUR GOD, BABYLON!
:'''Stewart''': This is, uh... this is about the Manilow thing, isn't it?
:'''Colbert''': I lost to [[w:Barry Manilow|BARRY MANILOW]]! Barry Manilow! I lost to the Copacabana! Singing and dancing is not &quot;performing&quot;! Wolverine I could've lost to — he's got claws for hands!
:'''Stewart''': All right.
:'''Colbert''': Can I hold one of yours?
:'''Stewart''': No! The nominees are...
:*Earlier in the evening, Colbert had been beaten in the [[w:58th Primetime Emmy Awards#Outstanding Individual Performance in a Variety or Music Program|Outstanding Individual Performance]] category by Barry Manilow.

=== [[w:The O'Reilly Factor|The O'Reilly Factor]], January 2007 ===
:'''Stephen:''' I spend so much time in the world that is spinning all the time, that to be in the no-spin zone actually gives me vertigo.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Stephen:''' They're ''[[w:New York Times|New York Times]]'', [[Bill O'Reilly (commentator)|Bill]]! They hate [[George W. Bush|George Bush]], of course they're gonna hate you! They're haters, Bill!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Stephen:''' We on my show, and by &quot;we&quot; I mean ME!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Stephen:''' Absolutely! You have to be high to understand [[Jon Stewart]].

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Stephen:''' I do fear bears. They're giant, marauding, Godless killing machines!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Stephen:''' You know what I hate about people who criticize you? They criticize what you say, but they never give you credit for how loud you say it. Or how long you say it.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Stephen:''' I wanna thank you for not asking me about that thing we pre-agreed you wouldn't ask me about.

=== 2022 ===
* The other stunner that came out of the [[w:United States House Select Committee on the January 6 Attack|committee hearings]] was what the committee called the &quot;big ripoff&quot;. [[Trump|The former president]] raised a quarter of a billion dollars off the big-lie, for a so-called &quot;election defense fund&quot;,  that investigators say, never existed... and this time we promise NO FRAUD.
** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIAnSN_8fh0The Fight The Fraud Of The Former Fight The Fraud, Which Fought The Fraud Of The First Fraud Fund] (via [[YouTube]] video 46,288 viewsJun 15, 2022)

=== 2023 ===
* Yes, we all know the famous saying: where there’s smoke, there’s success.
** [https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2023/feb/21/stephen-colbert-late-night-recap-biden-kyiv-visit Stephen Colbert on Biden’s Kyiv visit: ‘Like your dad meeting your boyfriend’] (Last modified on Tue 21 Feb 2023 18.30 GMT)

=== 2024 ===
* He took showers with the other pros...
** [[Donald Trump]] talking on  [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfI_6XMxftE Trump Offers TMI About Arnold Palmer] (October 21, 2024) a [[YouTube]] video

* Hey, there. How are you doing? If you watch [[this show]] regularly, I'm guessing you're not doing great. Yeah, me neither. You know, uh, today? Uh, some people said to me, &quot;Sorry you have to do a show tonight.&quot; Which is nice of them to say, but I don't ''have'' to do a show, I ''get'' to do a show tonight. I'm so grateful to be with all of these talented people -- those people over here, those people that you'll never see... With the audience in the [[Ed Sullivan]], with you people at home? Because, especially at times like this, what do we most want to be? Not alone. So thanks for being here. Uh, we're gonna do a [[comedy]] show, it's a comedy show, we're gonna do some [[jokes]] in just a minute. Uh, 'cause that's what we do. And I'll let you in on a little secret: No one gets into [[this business]] because everything in their life worked out ''great''. So we're built for rough roads.
** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xbj3xXSPTXY  You Are Not Alone / The World Reacts To America's Decision] (November 6, 2024) a [[YouTube]] video

* The first time [[Donald Trump]] was elected, he started as a joke and ended as a tragedy. This time, he ''starts'' as a tragedy. Who knows what he'll end as?
** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNX5OPkrfZk Plunging Back Into The Trump Hole | VP Harris Concedes | We Know What's Coming] (November 6, 2024) a [[YouTube]] video

* This is ''rough''. Last time Trump won, it felt like a grotesque fluke. This time, America knew exactly what they were getting and they went hard for him anyway. It's like that famous quote: &quot;[[George Santayana|Those who do not learn from history]]... are me! Hey, that's me! Which reminds me, I wanted to look something up. Hey Google, did [[Joe Biden]] drop out of the election?&quot;
** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNX5OPkrfZk Plunging Back Into The Trump Hole | VP Harris Concedes | We Know What's Coming] (November 6, 2024) a [[YouTube]] video

=== 2025 ===
[[File:LateshowDSC00594.jpg|thumb|Next year will be our last season. The network will be ending [[w:The Late Show with Stephen Colbert|''The Late Show'']] in May. And… Yeah — ''I share your [[feelings]]'' — It's not just the end of our show, but it's the end of [[w:The Late Show (franchise)|''The Late Show'' on CBS]]. I'm not being replaced — ''this is all just going away.'']]
* Oh, hey everybody. We got a great show for you tonight. &lt;br /&gt; Senator [[Adam Schiff]] was my guest. We harmonized on [[w:Seven Bridges Road|Seven Bridges Road]]. What a voice. I cried. &lt;br /&gt;  But before we start the show, I want to let you know something that I found out just last night. Next year will be our last season. The network will be ending [[w:The Late Show with Stephen Colbert|''The Late Show'']] in May. And… Yeah — ''I share your [[feelings]]'' — It's not just the end of our show, but it's the end of [[w:The Late Show (franchise)|''The Late Show'' on CBS]]. I'm not being replaced — ''this is all just going away.'' &lt;br /&gt; And I do want to say… I do want to say that the folks at CBS have been great partners. I'm so grateful to the Tiffany Network for giving me this chair and this beautiful theater to call home. &lt;br /&gt;  And of course, I'm [[grateful]] to you, the [[audience]], who have joined us every night in here, out there, all around the [[world]], Mr. and Mrs. [[America]], and all the ships at [[sea]].&lt;br /&gt;  I'm grateful to share the stage with this band, these artists over here every night. And I am extraordinarily deeply grateful to the 200 people who work here. We get to do this show. We get to do this show for each other every day, all day. And I've had the pleasure and the responsibility of sharing what we do every day with you in front of this camera for the last 10 years. &lt;br /&gt;  And let me tell you, it is a fantastic [[job]]. I wish somebody else was getting it. And it's a job that I'm looking forward to doing with this usual gang of idiots for another 10 months. It's going to be [[fun]]. … ''Y'all [[ready]]?''
** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuqEZx6TmfI&amp;list=PLiZxWe0ejyv-pWVMMN05_1Bxltk8xL41a &quot;Stephen Colbert announces the cancellation of ''The Late Show''&quot; (17 July 2025)]

* It’s a great day to be me because I am not Donald Trump.  
* Over the weekend it sunk in that they’re killing off our show.  But they made one mistake: They left me alive!
* Would an untalented man be able to compose the following satirical witticism?: Go f-ck yourself.
* I can finally speak unvarnished truth to power and say what I really think about Donald Trump—starting right now.  I don’t care for him. Doesn’t seem to have, like, the skill-set to be President. Just not a good fit, you know?
* It’s not a great look when you fly on the pedophile’s plane enough times to earn diamond pervert status.
** [https://time.com/7305512/stephen-colbert-post-cancellation-monologues/ &quot;Stephen Colbert Is Practically Daring CBS to Shut Him Down Early&quot;] ''Time Magazine'' (July 25, 2025)

* If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition ... and then admit that we just don't want to do it.
** [https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/us-christian-quote-stephen-colbert/ &quot;Real Stephen Colbert quote about US being 'Christian nation that doesn't help the poor'?&quot;] ''Snopes'' (August 4, 2025)

=== 2026 ===
* Folks, we have done over 1800 of these shows. And most nights, I come out here and I talk to the audience beforehand. And tonight, I thought I'd talk to the audience in here and the audience out there at home. This show -- I want you to know and you to know -- has been a joy for us to do for you. In fact, we call this show the Joy Machine! Alright? Lewis stole it from us and we are currently in litigation right now... You better lawyer up, buddy.&lt;br&gt;We call it the Joy Machine because, to do this many shows, it has to be a machine. But the thing is, if you choose to do it with joy, it doesn't hurt as much when your fingers get caught in the gears. And I cannot adequately explain to you what the people who work here have done for each other and how much we mean to each other, so I would just say... So I would just say to them, you are all [[Ulysses (novel)|the great Achilles, whom we knew]].&lt;br&gt;Now, on night one of ''[[The Colbert Report]]'' back in the day, I said &quot;Anyone can read the news to you. I promise to feel the news at you.&quot; And, uh... I realized pretty soon, in this job, that our job over here was different; we were here to feel the news ''with'' you. And I don't know about you, but I sure have felt it. And I just want to let all y'all know in here and out there how important you've been to what we have done.&lt;br&gt;The energy that you've given us, we sincerely need that to have done the best possible show we could've for you, for the last eleven years. You've given it to us, we've given it all right back to you. What would you call that, Louis?&lt;br&gt;''['''Louis Cato''': I would call that a reciprocal emotional relationship.]''&lt;br&gt;That's exactly right, because we love doing this show for you. But what we really, really love is doing the show with you.&lt;br&gt;Now, I'll say to you what I've said to every audience for the last eleven years, and I have meant it every time: Have a good show, thanks for being here, and let's do it, y'all.
** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_SVdzTXdnE A Reciprocal Emotional Relationship - Colbert's Series Finale Begins With A Message For His Audience (May 21, 2026)]

==Quotes about Colbert==
[[File:Tim &amp; Stephen hanging out for a minute..png|thumb|right|He was always the smartest guy in the room, and he was always smart enough not to let you know he was the smartest guy in the room. ~ Scott Wherry]]

* I was motivated to play [[w:Dungeons &amp; Dragons|Dungeons &amp; Dragons]]. I mean highly, highly motivated to play it. Every day, if I could find someone to play with me. If I couldn't find someone to play with me, I would work on my player character.
* I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way. But, in sort of a James Bond-ian kind of explosives in the gas tank of his car kind of way.
:*Stephen Colbert [http://www.ign.com/articles/2003/08/11/an-interview-with-stephen-colbert An interview with Stephen Colbert]

*'''He's like a living wall of encyclopedias that like to drink beer.'''
**[[w:Paul Dinello|Paul Dinello]], quoted in ''Current Biography'' article, (November 2006)

* It's one thing for an asshole to play an asshole. But your basic decency can't be hidden.
**[[Jon Stewart]], speaking to Colbert, in [http://www.rollingstone.com/tv/news/americas-anchors-20061116 &quot;America's Anchors&quot; in ''Rolling Stone'' (31 October 2006)]

* '''Part of the joy of being in character is being able to get away with things others cannot.''' Though a lot of that is that [he] is so high on Nyquil you never know what he's going to do.
**Jon Stewart, [http://www.nofactzone.net/?p=1384 ''Philadelphia Inquirer'' interview] (22 April 2007)]

* '''He's able to create a universe where something surreal happens on the program that seems ordinary, and all of a sudden the absurd appears not mundane but expected, organic...''' So he can have a conversation with [[w:Richard Holbrooke|Richard Holbrooke]] and [[Willie Nelson]] and it all makes perfect sense and yet it couldn't appear anywhere else without appearing burlesque. '''Somehow he has managed to create a fake world that has impacted and found standing in the real world.'''
**Jon Stewart, [http://www.vanityfair.com/fame/features/2007/10/colbert200710?currentPage=2 ''Vanity Fair'' interview],( October 2007)

* '''The thing about Colbert is he's fucking brilliant... He was always the smartest guy in the room, and he was always smart enough not to let you know he was the smartest guy in the room.'''
**Scott Wherry, a long-time friend, in ''[[w:Vanity Fair|Vanity Fair]]'' (October 2007)

* His humor is an accumulation of the eccentricities, mannerisms and jokes of his ten older brothers and sisters, a medley that trickled down.
**''Colbert Report'' staffer, in [http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/12271521/cover_story_americas_anchors_jon_stewart_and_stephen_colbert/print &quot;America's Anchors&quot; in ''Rolling Stone'' (31 October 2006)]

* Stephen used to play a manic conservative, and now, he plays a depressed liberal. ''That'' is range, ladies and gentlemen.
** [[Julia Louis-Dreyfus]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nfe2MoPDdkM 2018 Mark Twain Prize Ceremony] (21 October 2018)

== Video clips ==
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5vcgT-Ud4c President Bill Clinton Reconsiders His #MeToo Comments] (Jun 6, 2018 on [[Youtube]])
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7yF8KJwR0c Shock Noms: Trump Picks [[Gaetz]], [[Hegseth]], [[Huckabee]], [[Gabbard]] | Biden &amp; Trump’s Cordial [[WH]] Meeting] (Nov 13, 2024 on [[Youtube]])

==See also==
* ''[[The Colbert Report]]''
* ''[[The Daily Show]]''
* ''[[I Am America (And So Can You!)]]''
* ''[[Strangers With Candy]]''
* ''[[Wigfield]]''

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}

* {{imdb name|id=0170306|name=Stephen Colbert}}
* {{imdb title|id=0166039|name=Exit 57}}
* [http://www.colbertnation.com Colbert Nation]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Colbert, Stephen}}
[[Category:Actors from Washington, D.C.]]
[[Category:Comedians from the United States]]
[[Category:Hampden–Sydney College alumni]]
[[Category:Television personalities]]
[[Category:Producers from the United States]]
[[Category:Novelists from the United States]]
[[Category:Satirists from the United States]]
[[Category:Critics from the United States]]
[[Category:Feminists]]
[[Category:1964 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:United States presidential candidates, 2008]]
[[Category:Catholics from the United States]]
[[Category:Primetime Emmy Award winners]]</text>
      <sha1>8ycag6tr2thq6q7zqdcz4nrrialyqxh</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Mister Rogers' Neighborhood</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>22271</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944026</id>
      <parentid>3926931</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T19:39:18Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* External links */</comment>
      <origin>3944026</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3296" sha1="fqr2uav124ivbv3o4i35mggbuve1qqg" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Mister Rogers' Neighborhood|Mister Rogers' Neighborhood]]''''', also known as '''''Mister Rogers''''', is an American children's television series that was created and hosted by [[w:Fred Rogers|Fred Rogers]]. It aired from 1968 to 2001.

== Opening song (Won't You Be My Neighbor?) ==
*'''Mister Rogers''': ''It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood,''
*:''A beautiful day for a neighbor.''
*:''Would you be mine? Could you be mine?''
*:''It's the neighborly day in this beauty wood.''
*:''The neighborly day for the beauty.''
*:''Would you be mine? Could you be mine?''
*:''I have always wanted to have a neighbor.''
*:''Just like you.''
*:''I have always wanted to live in the neighborhood,''
*:''With you.''
*:''So let's make the most for this beautiful day.''
*:''Since we are together, we might as well say,''
*:''&quot;Would you be mine? Could you be mine?''
*:''&quot;Won't you be my neighbor?&quot;.''

==Fathers and Music part 3==
:'''Mister Rogers''': ''[as his grandson was about touch Trolley control switch]'' Uh, that doesn't make it work. Unless it's on the track.

== Closing song ==

===All Episodes===
:'''Mister Rogers''': ''[singing]'' ''It's such a good feeling.''
:''To know you were alive,''
:''It's such a happy feeling.''
:''You were growing inside,''
:''That when you wake up and ready to say,''
:''&quot;I think I will make the snappy new day!&quot;.'' 
:''[By that line --on the first verse-- Fred Rogers snaps his fingers. That is, after he sings the last phrase of the first verse, &quot;I think I make a snappy new day!&quot;.]''

===Monday through Friday Episodes===

:'''Mister Rogers''': ''[singing]'' ''It's such a good feeling.''
:''A very good feeling.''
:''The feeling you know that I will be back,''
:''When the day is new.'' ''[On Monday through Thursday episodes, he used &quot;day&quot;. But it was &quot;week&quot; for Friday episodes.]''
:''And I will have more ideas for you.''
:''And you will have things you want to talk about.''
:''I will too.''

==Funding==

===Funding Credits (1968-2000)===
:'''Mister Rogers''': ''[voiceover]'' The people who gave the money to make ''Mister Rogers Neighborhood'' were the people who contributed to/the people of this and other PUBLIC TELEVISION STATIONS and the CORPORATION FOR PUBLIC BROADCASTING./The people who gave the money to make ''Mister Rogers Neighborhood'' were the people who contributed to/the people of this and other PUBLIC TELEVISION STATIONS and the SEARS ROEBUCK FOUNDATION./The people who gave the money to make ''Mister Rogers Neighborhood'' were the people who contributed to this and other PUBLIC TELEVISION STATIONS, the CORPORATION FOR PUBLIC BROADCASTING, and the SEARS ROEBUCK FOUNDATION.

===2001 Episodes and Reruns===

:'''Mister Rogers''': ''[voiceover]'' The people who gave the money to make ''Mister Rogers Neighborhood'' were the people who contributed to this and other PBS stations and the CORPORATION FOR PUBLIC BROADCASTING. We thank you. 

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0062588/quotes Quotes] at IMDB

[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:PBS shows]]
[[Category:PBS Kids shows]]
[[Category:American children's TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American preschool education TV shows]]
[[Category:TV shows featuring puppetry]]</text>
      <sha1>fqr2uav124ivbv3o4i35mggbuve1qqg</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Return of the Jedi</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>26348</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943958</id>
      <parentid>3925869</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T14:27:17Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>MrCoconutCrab</username>
        <id>3220115</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>Removed nonexistent comma as in the dialogue</comment>
      <origin>3943958</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="22054" sha1="tebxignmeqtgtyhba1jxu3bkuv4bx28" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
[[File:Return of the jedi logo.png|thumb|Remember, a Jedi's strength flows from [[the Force]]. But beware: [[Anger]], [[fear]], [[aggression]] — the dark side, are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your [[destiny]].]]
'''''[[w:Return of the Jedi|Return of the Jedi]]''''' (also known as '''''Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi''''') is a [[w:1983 in film|1983]] space opera film. It is the third and final film of the original ''[[Star Wars]]'' trilogy. The film is set one year after the Battle of Hoth. Luke Skywalker and members of the Rebel Alliance travel to Tatooine to rescue their friend Han Solo from the vile Jabba the Hutt. Meanwhile, the Galactic Empire plans to crush the Rebellion with a second Death Star while the Rebel fleet simultaneously prepares to launch a full-scale attack on this new space station. Luke confronts his father, Darth Vader, in a final climactic duel before the evil Emperor Palpatine.
:''Directed by [[w:George Lucas|George Lucas]]. Written by [[w:Lawrence Kasdan|Lawrence Kasdan]].''
{{center|'''Return To A Galaxy... Far, Far Away''' &lt;small&gt;([[#taglines|taglines]])&lt;/small&gt;}}

==Opening crawl==
[[File:Star Wars characters at Madame Tussaud.jpg|thumb|You must...confront...Vader. Then, only then, a Jedi, will you be. And confront him, you will.]]
* Luke Skywalker has returned to his home planet of Tatooine in an attempt to rescue his friend Han Solo from the clutches of the vile gangster Jabba the Hutt. &lt;br /&gt; Little does Luke know that the GALACTIC EMPIRE has secretly begun construction on a new armored space station even more powerful than the first dreaded Death Star. &lt;br /&gt; When completed, this ultimate weapon will spell certain doom for the small band of rebels struggling to restore freedom to the galaxy...

==Mon Mothma==
* The Emperor has made a critical error and the time for our attack has come. The data brought to us by the Bothan spies pinpoints the exact location of the Emperor's new battle station. We also know that the weapon systems on this Death Star are not yet operational. With the Imperial fleet spread throughout the galaxy in a vain effort to engage us, it is relatively unprotected. But most important of all, we have learned that the Emperor himself is personally overseeing the final stages of the construction of his Death Star. Many Bothans died to bring us this information.

==Admiral Ackbar==
* You can see here the Death Star orbiting the forest moon of Endor. Although the weapon systems on this Death Star are not yet operational, the Death Star does have a strong defense mechanism. It is protected by an energy shield, which is generated from the nearby forest moon of Endor. The shield must be deactivated if any attack is to be attempted. Once the shield is down, our cruisers will create a perimeter, while the fighters fly into the superstructure and attempt to knock out the main reactor. General Calrissian has volunteered to lead the fighter attack.

==Dialogue==
[[File:NYCC 2011 - Princess Leia (6311280580).jpg|thumb|Oh... it's not like that at all. He's my brother.]]
:''[Darth Vader steps out of his shuttle on the second Death Star]''
:'''Moff Jerjerrod''': Lord Vader, this is an unexpected pleasure. We're honored by your presence.
:'''Darth Vader''': You may dispense with the pleasantries, Commander. I'm here to put you back on schedule.
:'''Jerjerrod''': I assure you, Lord Vader, my men are working as fast they can.
:'''Vader''': Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them.
:'''Jerjerrod''': I tell you, this station will be operational as planned.
:'''Vader''': The Emperor does not share your optimistic appraisal of the situation.
:'''Jerjerrod''': But he asks the impossible. I need more men.
:'''Vader''': Then perhaps you can tell him when he arrives.
:'''Jerjerrod''': ''[alarmed]'' The Emperor's coming here?
:'''Vader''': That is correct, Commander, and he is most displeased with your apparent lack of progress.
:'''Jerjerrod''': We shall double our efforts.
:'''Vader''': I hope so, Commander, for your sake. The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
[[File:Yoda in Madame Tussauds.jpg|thumb|There is another Skywalker.]]
:''[Luke is in Yoda's hut. Yoda is pacing back and forth. Luke is looking at him with a mixture of sadness and pity]
:'''Yoda''': That face, you make. Look I so old to young eyes?
:'''Luke Skywalker''': ''[hurriedly]'' No. Of course not.
:'''Yoda''': ''[chuckles good-naturedly]'' I do. Yes, I do. Hmm, sick, have I become. Old and weak. ''[points at Luke]'' When 900 years old, ''you'' reach, look as good, ''you'' will not, hmm? ''[laughs again, coughs, walks over to his bed]''. Soon, will I rest, yes. Forever sleep. Earned it, I have. ''[climbs into his bed and Luke covers him up with his blanket]''
:'''Luke''': Master Yoda, you can't die.
:'''Yoda''': Strong, am I, with The Force... but not that strong. Twilight is upon me, and soon, night must fall. That is the way of things... the way of The Force.
:'''Luke''': But I need your help. I've come back to complete the training.
:'''Yoda''': No more training, do you require. Already know you that which you need.
:'''Luke''': Then I am a Jedi.
:'''Yoda''': ''[coughs trying to speak]'' Not yet. One thing remains: Vader. You must...confront...Vader. Then, only then, a Jedi, will you be. And confront him, you will.
:'''Luke''': ''[visibly in agony]'' Master Yoda... is Darth Vader my father?
:'''Yoda''': ''[turns away from Luke]'' Rest, I need. Yes, rest.
:'''Luke''': ''[pleading]'' Yoda, I must know.
:'''Yoda''': Your father, he is. ''[Luke looks away]'' Told you, did he?
:'''Luke''': Yes.
:'''Yoda''': Unexpected, this is, and unfortunate.
:'''Luke''': ''[surprised]'' Unfortunate that I know the truth?
:'''Yoda''': No. ''[turns to face Luke]'' Unfortunate that you rushed to face him. That incomplete, was your training. That not ready for the burden, were you.
:'''Luke''': I'm sorry.
:'''Yoda''': ''[strains to speak as voice gradually grows softer]'' Remember, a Jedi's strength flows from The Force. But beware: anger, fear, aggression - the dark side, are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. ''[whispering now]'' Luke... Luke... do not... ''[struggles to speak]'' Do not underestimate the powers of the Emperor... or suffer your father's fate, you will. Luke... ''[Luke leans in close]'' ...when gone, am I, the last of the Jedi, will you be. Luke... the Force runs strong in your family. Pass on what you have learned. Luke... ''[with great effort]'' ...There... is... another... Sk... Sky... walker. ''[Yoda dies, then disappears into thin air]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
[[File:SWC 6 - Obi-Wan Kenobi (7865386960).jpg|thumb|Your father was seduced by the dark side of The Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true, from a certain point of view.]]
:''[Yoda has passed into The Force, Luke is sitting outside his hut with R2]''
:'''Luke''': I can't do it, R2. I can't go on alone.
:'''Obi-Wan Kenobi''': ''[voice emanates from nowhere]'' Yoda will always be with you.
:'''Luke''': Obi-Wan! ''[Obi-Wan reveals himself as a Force ghost walking by]'' Why didn't you tell me? You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father.
:'''Obi-Wan''': Your father was seduced by the dark side of The Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true, from a certain point of view.
:'''Luke''': ''[incredulously]'' A certain point of view?
:'''Obi-Wan''': Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view. Anakin was a good friend. When I first knew him, your father was already a great pilot. But I was amazed how strongly the Force was with him. I took it upon myself to train him as a Jedi. I thought that I could instruct him just as well as Yoda. I was wrong.
:'''Luke''': There is still good in him.
:'''Obi-Wan''': He's more machine now than man. Twisted and evil.
:'''Luke''': I can't do it, Ben.
:'''Obi-Wan''': You cannot escape your destiny. You must face Darth Vader again.
:'''Luke''': I can't kill my own father.
:'''Obi-Wan''': ''[resigned]'' Then the Emperor has already won. You were our only hope.
:'''Luke''': Yoda spoke of another.
:'''Obi-Wan''': The other he spoke of is your twin sister.
:'''Luke''': But I have no sister.
:'''Obi-Wan''': ''[nods]'' Mm. To protect you both from the Emperor, you were hidden from your father when you were born. The Emperor knew, as I did. If Anakin were to have any offspring, they would be a threat to him. That is the reason why your sister remains safely anonymous.
:'''Luke''': ''[with sudden realization]'' Leia. Leia's my sister.
:'''Obi-Wan''': Your insight serves you well. Bury your feelings deep down, Luke. They do you credit, but they could be made to serve the Emperor.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Luke has stepped out of the Ewok party. Leia has joined him]''
:'''Leia''': Luke, what's wrong?
:'''Luke''': Leia, do you remember [[w:Padmé Amidala|your mother]]? Your real mother?
:'''Leia''': Just a little bit. She died when I was very young.
:'''Luke''': What do you remember?
:'''Leia''': Just images, really, feelings.
:'''Luke''': Tell me.
:'''Leia''': She was... very beautiful. Kind, but sad. Why are you asking me of this?
:'''Luke''': I have no memory of my mother. I never knew her.
:'''Leia''': Luke, tell me. What's troubling you?
:'''Luke''': Vader's here. Now, on this moon.
:'''Leia''': How do you know?
:'''Luke''': I felt his presence. He's come for me. He can feel when I'm near. That's why I have to go. As long as I stay, I'm endangering the group and our mission here. I have to face him.
:'''Leia''': Why?
:'''Luke''': He's my father.
:'''Leia''': ''[shocked]'' Your father?
:'''Luke''': There's more. It won't be easy for you to hear it, but you must. If I don't make it back, you're the only hope for the Alliance.
:'''Leia''': Luke, don't talk that way. You have a power I don't understand and could never have.
:'''Luke''': You're wrong, Leia. You have that power too. In time you'll learn to use it as I have. The Force is strong in my family. My father has it. I have it, and... ''[looks directly at Leia]'' My sister has it. ''[waits for the words to sink in]'' Yes. It's you, Leia.
:'''Leia''': ''[astonished]'' I know. Somehow, I've always known.
:'''Luke''': Then you know why I have to face him.
:'''Leia''': No. Luke, run away, far away. If he can feel your presence, then leave this place. I wish I could go with you.
:'''Luke''': No, you don't. You've always been strong.
:'''Leia''': But why must you confront him?
:'''Luke''': Because there is good in him, I've felt it. He won't turn me over to the Emperor. I can save him; I can turn him back to the good side. I have to try.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Luke has intentionally surrendered himself to Darth Vader]''
:'''Imperial commander''': This is a Rebel that surrendered to us. Although he denies that I believe there may be more of them, and I request permission to conduct a further search of the area. ''[hands over Luke Skywalker's lightsaber to Vader]'' He was armed, only with this.
:'''Vader''': ''[takes Luke's lightsaber from the commander and congratulates him]'' Good work, Commander. Leave us. Conduct your search and bring his companions to me.
:'''Imperial commander''': Yes, my Lord. ''[leaves with a squad of stormtroopers to conduct the search for the other Rebels]''
:'''Vader''': The Emperor has been expecting you.
:'''Luke''': I know, father.
:'''Vader''': So, you have accepted the truth.
:'''Luke''': I've accepted the truth that you were once Anakin Skywalker, my father.
:'''Vader''': ''[angrily]'' That name no longer has any meaning for me.
:'''Luke''': It is the name of your true self. You've only forgotten. I know there is good in you; the Emperor hasn't driven it from you fully. That was why you couldn't destroy me. That's why you won't bring me to your Emperor now.
:'''Vader''': ''[inspects Luke's lightsaber and activates it]'' I see you have constructed a new lightsaber. Your skills are complete. ''[deactivates the lightsaber]'' Indeed you are powerful, as the Emperor has foreseen.
:'''Luke''': Come with me.
:'''Vader''': Obi-Wan once thought as you do. You don't know the power of the dark side! I ''must'' obey my master.
:'''Luke''': I will not turn. And you'll be forced to kill me.
:'''Vader''': If that is your destiny.
:'''Luke''': Search your feelings, father. You can't do this. I feel the conflict within you. Let go of your hate.
:'''Vader''': It is too late for me, son. The Emperor will show you the true nature of the Force. He is your master now.
:'''Luke''': ''[resigned]'' Then my father is truly dead.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''The Emperor''': Welcome, young Skywalker, I have been expecting you. You no longer need those. ''[uses the Force to detach Luke's cuffs]'' Guards, leave us. ''[the Emperor's guards leave the room]'' I'm looking forward to completing your training. In time, you will call me &quot;Master&quot;.
:'''Luke''': You're gravely mistaken. You won't convert me as you did my father.
:'''The Emperor''': Oh, no, my young Jedi. You will find that it is ''you'' who are mistaken, about a great ''many'' things.
:'''Vader''': ''[hands Luke's lightsaber to the Emperor]'' His lightsaber.
:'''The Emperor''': Ah, yes, a Jedi's weapon, much like your father's. By now you must know that your father can never be turned from the dark side. So will it be with you.
:'''Luke''': You're wrong. Soon I'll be dead, and you with me.
:'''The Emperor''': ''[chuckles sinisterly]'' Perhaps you refer to the imminent attack of your Rebel fleet? Yes; I assure you, we are quite safe from your friends here.
:'''Luke''': Your overconfidence is your weakness.
:'''The Emperor''':  Your faith in your friends is yours.
:'''Vader''': It is pointless to resist, my son.
:'''The Emperor''': Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design. Your friends, out there on the sanctuary moon, are walking into a trap, as is your Rebel fleet. It was I who allowed the Alliance to know the location of the shield generator. It is quite safe from your pitiful little band. An entire legion of my best troops awaits them. ''[mockingly]'' Oh, I'm afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Rebel fleet is approaching the Death Star.]''
:'''Lando Calrissian''': All wings, report in.
:'''Wedge Antilles''': Red Leader, standing by.
:'''Voice of Merrick Simms''': Blue Leader, standing by.
:'''Horton Salm''': Grey Leader, standing by.
:'''Arvel Crynyd''': Green Leader, standing by.
:'''Wedge''': Lock S-foils in attack positions.
:'''Admiral Ackbar''': May the force be with us.
:''[On the Millennium Falcon, Nien Nunb informs Lando that there is no reading on the Death Star's shield.]''
:'''Lando''': Well, we've got to get some kind of reading on that shield, up or down.
:''[Nunb replies that the Empire must be jamming their signals.]''
:'''Lando''': But how can be they be jamming us if they don't know... ''[with horrified realization]'' ...if we're coming? ''[over comms]'' Break off the attack! The shield is still up!
:'''Wedge''': I get no reading. Are you sure?
:'''Lando''': Pull up! All craft, pull up!
:'''Ackbar''': Take evasive action! Green Group, Blue Group, stay close to holding sector MV-7!
:'''Crewman''': Admiral, we have enemy ships in sector 47!
:'''Ackbar''': It's a trap!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Vader is searching for Luke in the Emperor's chamber]''
:'''Vader''': You cannot hide forever, Luke.
:'''Luke''': I will not fight you.
:'''Vader''': Give yourself to the dark side. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for... ''[pauses]'' Sister. So, you have a twin sister. Your feelings have now betrayed her, too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete. If ''you'' will not turn to the dark side, then perhaps ''she'' will.
:'''Luke''': ''[revealing himself]'' ''Never!!''
:''[Luke attacks Vader ferociously, eventually backing him onto a railing and cutting off his right hand. He stands over Vader for a moment.]''
:'''The Emperor''': ''[laughing]'' Good! Your hate has made you powerful. Now, fulfill your destiny and take your father's place at my side.
:''[Luke looks at Vader's severed hand. He then turns to face the Emperor and throws his lightsaber aside.]''
:'''Luke''': Never. I'll never turn to the dark side. You've failed, Your Highness. I am a Jedi, like my father before me.
:''[pause]''
:'''The Emperor''': ''[angrily]'' So be it... Jedi.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''The Emperor''': If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed. 
:''[The Emperor fires lightning bolts at Luke, causing him to fall to the floor in agony. Vader stands up behind the Emperor]''
:'''The Emperor''': Young fool. Only now, at the end, do you understand. ''[shoots another round of lightning]'' Your feeble skills are no match for the power of the dark side. You have paid the price for your lack of vision. ''[continues shooting lightning]''
:'''Luke''': ''[writhing in agony]'' Father, please! Help me!
:'''The Emperor''': Now, young Skywalker... you will die. ''[intensifies lightning blasts against Luke in a fit of rage]''
:''[The Emperor intensifies his attack on Luke. Vader, conflicted, looks at both men before deciding upon redemption]''
:''[Anakin grabs the Emperor from behind and throws him down into the reactor shaft]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
[[File:SAN DIEGO COMIC-CON 2014 (14781405254).jpg|thumb|You were right. You were right about me. Tell your sister... you were right.]]
:''[A redeemed Anakin Skywalker is dying in Luke's arms]''
:'''[[w:Darth Vader|Anakin Skywalker]]''': Luke, help me take this mask off.
:'''Luke''': But you'll die.
:'''Anakin''': Nothing.... can stop that now. Just for once, let me... look on you with my own eyes.
:''[Luke carefully removes Anakin's mask to reveal a pale scarred face underneath]''
:'''Anakin''': Now... go, my son. Leave me.
:'''Luke''': No. You're coming with me. I'm not leaving you here. I've got to save you.
:'''Anakin''': ''[smiles and last words]'' You already have, Luke. You were right. You were right about me. Tell your sister... you were right. ''[dies]''
:'''Luke''': Father... I won't leave you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Han Solo and Princess Leia, on the moon's surface, have just watched the Death Star explode]''
:'''Han''': I'm sure Luke wasn't on that thing when it blew.
:'''Leia''': He wasn't. I can feel it.
:'''Han''': You love him. Don't you?
:'''Leia''': Yes.
:'''Han''': All right. I understand. Fine. When he comes back... I won't get in the way.
:'''Leia''': Oh... it's not like that at all. He's my brother.

==About ''Return of the Jedi''==
* Star Wars meant a lot to young people around the world – young people who were around six, seven and eight years old, and older as well. Those people grew up. So when they saw The Empire Strikes Back, they were a little bit more mature. By the time I came along to direct Return Of The Jedi, they were 18. 19 and 20.
* I have a son who’s about your age and part of the Star Wars generation. So he was my most intimate link to the Star Wars saga. So that meant that what I was able to bring to the Star Wars saga, which the other directors couldn’t since they were dealing with a younger generation, was a certain kind of modern maturity, which you couldn’t have had in Star Wars [Episode IV], because you would have lost a lot of people. I was able to entertain the little kids with the Ewoks and all the stuff that made them feel safe, but I was able, at the same time, to give young adults the kind of things they’re looking for, which is a lot of excitement, a lot of showmanship. But they are also looking for true relationships and genuine emotions. I think that’s what has always been in the Star Wars saga, but I was really able to bring that out and make it work. I think that’s what Return Of The Jedi had that the others didn’t have. I’m not criticising the others: they simply weren’t ready for it.
:* [[w:George Lucas|George Lucas]], [http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/star-wars/26133/richard-marquand-interview-return-of-the-jedi-star-wars Interviews:Return of The Jedi, Star Wars], Jules-Pierre Malartre, ''Den of Geek'', 25 June 2013.

==Taglines==
* Return to a galaxy... far, far away.
*The saga continues...
*The Empire falls...
*Coming May 25, 1983 to your galaxy. [Second Advance poster]

==Cast==
* [[Mark Hamill]] — Luke Skywalker
* [[Harrison Ford]] — Han Solo
* [[Carrie Fisher]] — Leia Organa
* {{w|Billy Dee Williams}} — Lando Calrissian
* [[Anthony Daniels]] — C-3PO
* [[Peter Mayhew]] — Chewbacca
* {{w|Sebastian Shaw (actor)|Sebastian Shaw}}/{{w|Hayden Christensen}} — Anakin Skywalker
* [[Ian McDiarmid]] — Emperor Palpatine
* [[David Prowse]] — Darth Vader
* [[Alec Guinness]] — Obi-Wan Kenobi

===Voices===
* [[Frank Oz]] — Yoda
* [[James Earl Jones]] — Darth Vader

----
{{Star Wars}}

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
*{{IMDb title|0086190|Return of the Jedi}}
*{{rotten-tomatoes|return_of_the_jedi|Return of the Jedi}}

&lt;!--See (1) https://mises.org/library/films-liberty-and-state-1 (2) http://web.archive.org/web/19991128184820/http://www.lp.org/lpn/9911-movies.html (3) http://www.funpoliticalsurvey.com/wp/general/greatest-libertarian-movies --&gt;

{{Authority control}}


[[Category:1983 American films]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Star Wars films]]
[[Category:Screenplays by George Lucas]]
[[Category:Screenplays by Lawrence Kasdan]]
[[Category:Space adventure films]]
[[Category:Films about twins]]
[[Category:Films set in forests]]
[[Category:Films featuring puppetry]]
[[Category:United States National Film Registry films]]</text>
      <sha1>tebxignmeqtgtyhba1jxu3bkuv4bx28</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>May 22</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>26983</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944099</id>
      <parentid>3750781</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T00:38:52Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>update</comment>
      <origin>3944099</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="29667" sha1="4yv4e3b5vxfka9cfvr7vt27k4jpcy9r" xml:space="preserve">&lt;div id=&quot;22&quot; style=&quot;margin: 1em 0em; border: thin solid black; padding: 3px; background-color:#CFE5FF;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122); font: bold 14pt sans-serif;&quot;&gt;[[Category:Days]][[w:May 22|May 22]]&lt;/div&gt; &lt;noinclude&gt;'''Quotes of the day''' from previous years:&lt;/noinclude&gt;

; 2004
: The way I see it, if you want the rainbow you gotta be willing to put up with the rain. ~ [[Dolly Parton]]
:* selected by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]

; 2005
: The highest morality may prove also to be the highest wisdom when the half-told story comes to be finished. ~ [[Arthur Conan Doyle]] (born 22 May 1859)
:* selected by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]

; 2006
: ''A little Learning is a dang'rous Thing; &lt;br/&gt; Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian Spring: &lt;br/&gt; There shallow Draughts intoxicate the Brain, &lt;br/&gt; And drinking largely sobers us again.'' &lt;br/&gt; ~ [[Alexander Pope]] (The date of Pope's birth was not definite when this was proposed for QOTD; he is said to have been born 22 May 1688, in ''The Life of Pope'' (1781) by [[Samuel Johnson|Samuel Johnson]], but apparently this was an error, for [[21 May]] seems to have become the most widely accepted date.)
:* selected by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]

; 2007
: I should dearly love that the world should be ever so little better for my presence. Even on this small stage we have our two sides, and something might be done by throwing all one's weight on the scale of breadth, tolerance, charity, temperance, peace, and kindliness to man and beast. We can't all strike very big blows, and even the little ones count for something. ~ [[Arthur Conan Doyle]]
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 10:19, 20 May 2007 (UTC)
* 4 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 20:52, 21 May 2007 (UTC)
 --&gt;

; 2008
: Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself; but talent instantly recognizes genius. ~ [[Arthur Conan Doyle]]
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 10:19, 20 May 2007 (UTC)
* 4 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 20:52, 21 May 2007 (UTC)
* 3 because it is easy to be mediocre but to be talented is elegant and respectable and should remain so. [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 05:33, 23 April 2008 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2009
: Life is infinitely stranger than anything which the mind of man could invent. We would not dare to conceive the things which are really mere commonplaces of existence. If we could fly out of that window hand in hand, hover over this great city, gently remove the roofs, and peep in at the queer things which are going on, the strange coincidences, the plannings, the cross-purposes, the wonderful chains of events, working through generations, and leading to the most outre results, it would make all fiction with its conventionalities and foreseen conclusions most stale and unprofitable. ~ [[Arthur Conan Doyle]] in &quot;[[Sherlock_Holmes#A_Case_of_Identity|A Case of Identity]]&quot;
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- Life is infinitely stranger than anything which the mind of man could invent. ~ [[Arthur Conan Doyle]]
* 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 16:27, 21 May 2009 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 10:19, 20 May 2007 (UTC) with a lean toward 4.&lt;/s&gt; I am also inclined to extend this with:
:: We would not dare to conceive the things which are really mere commonplaces of existence. If we could fly out of that window hand in hand, hover over this great city, gently remove the roofs, and peep in at the queer things which are going on, the strange coincidences, the plannings, the cross-purposes, the wonderful chains of events, working through generations, and leading to the most outre results, it would make all fiction with its conventionalities and foreseen conclusions most stale and unprofitable.
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 20:52, 21 May 2007 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 05:33, 23 April 2008 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2010
: The more we progress the more we tend to progress. We advance not in arithmetical but in geometrical progression. We draw compound interest on the whole capital of knowledge and virtue which has been accumulated since the dawning of time. ~ [[Arthur Conan Doyle]]
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 10:19, 20 May 2007 (UTC) with a very strong lean toward 4.
* 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 20:52, 21 May 2007 (UTC)
* 2 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 05:33, 23 April 2008 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2011
:&lt;p&gt;How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, ''however improbable'', must be the truth?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt; [[Arthur Conan Doyle]] in ''[[Sherlock_Holmes#The_Sign_of_the_Four_.281890.29|The Sign of the Four]]''&lt;/p&gt;
:* selected by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]

; 2012
: {{quote of the day
| quote = I will make my meaning more clear when I say that I [[Thought|think]] [[Righteousness|right]] and [[wrong]] are both tools which are being wielded by those great [[hands]] which are shaping the [[Destiny|destinies]] of the [[universe]], that both are making for [[Progress|improvement]]; but that the [[action]] of the one is immediate, and that of the other more slow, but none the less certain. Our own distinction of right and wrong is founded too much upon the immediate convenience of the [[community]], and does not inquire sufficiently deeply into the ultimate effect.
| author = Arthur Conan Doyle
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]

;2013
{{quote of the day
| quote = I am not the [[law]], but I represent [[justice]] so far as my feeble [[powers]] go.
| author = [[Arthur Conan Doyle]] ~&lt;br /&gt; in &lt;br /&gt;~[[Sherlock_Holmes#The_Adventure_of_the_Three_Gables|''The Adventure of the Three Gables '']]
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] &lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 10:20, 17 May 2013 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2014
{{quote of the day
| quote = My [[name]] is [[Sherlock Holmes]]. It is my [[business]] to [[know]] what other [[people]] don't know.
| author = Arthur Conan Doyle
}}
:* selected by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]

; 2015
{{quote of the day
| quote = It was easier to [[know]] it than to [[explain]] why I know it. If you were asked to [[prove]] that two and two made four, you might find some [[difficulty]], and yet you are quite sure of the [[fact]].
| author = [[Arthur Conan Doyle]] ~&lt;br /&gt; in &lt;br /&gt;~ ''[[Sherlock_Holmes#A_Study_in_Scarlet_.281887.29|A Study in Scarlet]]''
}}
:* selected by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]

; 2016
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; The ancient [[intuition]] that all [[matter]], [[all]] “[[reality]],” is [[energy]], that all [[phenomena]], including [[time]] and [[space]], are mere crystallizations of [[mind]], is an [[idea]] with which few [[physicists]] have quarreled since the [[theory of relativity]] first called into question the separate [[identities]] of energy and matter. Today most [[scientists]] would agree with the ancient [[Hindus]] that [[nothing]] [[exists]] or is [[destroyed]], things merely [[change]] shape or form; that matter is insubstantial in origin, a temporary aggregate of the pervasive energy that animates the [[electron]]. … The [[cosmic]] radiation that is thought to come from [[Big Bang|the explosion of creation]] strikes the [[earth]] with equal intensity from all directions, which suggests either that the earth is at the center of the [[universe]], as in our [[innocence]] we once supposed, or that the known universe has no center. Such an idea holds no [[terror]] for [[mystics]]; in the mystical [[Visions|vision]], the universe, its center, and its origins are simultaneous, all around us, all within us, and [[Monism|all One]].
| author = Peter Matthiessen
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Bystander53|bystander]]&lt;!-- Today most scientists would agree with the ancient Hindus that nothing exists or is destroyed, things merely change shape or form…the cosmic radiation that is thought to come from the explosion of creation strikes the earth with equal intensity from all directions, which suggests either that the earth is at the center of the universe, as in our innocence we once supposed, or that the known universe has no center. ~ [[w:Peter Matthiessen|Peter Matthiessen]] (dob: 1927 May 22) ([http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/6975.Peter_Matthiessen goodreads quotes])
* 4 [[User:Bystander53|bystander]] ([[User talk:Bystander53|talk]]) 15:13, 21 May 2015 (UTC)
* 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:55, 21 May 2016 (UTC) but would extend this to read:
:: The ancient intuition that all matter, all “reality,” is energy, that all phenomena, including time and space, are mere crystallizations of mind, is an idea with which few physicists have quarreled since the theory of relativity first called into question the separate identities of energy and matter. Today most scientists would agree with the ancient Hindus that nothing exists or is destroyed, things merely change shape or form; that matter is insubstantial in origin, a temporary aggregate of the pervasive energy that animates the electron. … The cosmic radiation that is thought to come from the explosion of creation strikes the earth with equal intensity from all directions, which suggests either that the earth is at the center of the universe, as in our innocence we once supposed, or that the known universe has no center. Such an idea holds no terror for mystics; in the mystical vision, the universe, its center, and its origins are simultaneous, all around us, all within us, and all One. --&gt;

; 2017
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; When we are mired in the relative [[world]], never lifting our gaze to the [[mystery]], our [[life]] is stunted, incomplete; we are filled with yearning for that [[paradise]] that is lost when, as young [[children]], we replace it with [[words]] and [[ideas]] and abstractions — such as [[merit]], such as [[past]], [[present]], and [[future]] — our direct, spontaneous [[experience]] of the thing itself, in the [[beauty]] and [[precision]] of this present [[moment]]. We identify, label, and interpret our surroundings as abstract [[concepts]], quite separate from another concept, which is our own separate [[identity]] and [[ego]].
| author = Peter Matthiessen
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Bystander53|bystander]]&lt;!-- When we are mired in the relative world, never lifting our gaze to the mystery, our life is stunted, incomplete; we are filled with yearning for that paradise that is lost when, as young children, we replace it with words and ideas and abstractions - such as merit, such as past, present, and future - our direct, spontaneous experience of the thing itself, in the beauty and precision of this present moment. ~ [[w:Peter Matthiessen|Peter Matthiessen]] (dob: 1927 May 22) ([http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/6975.Peter_Matthiessen goodreads quotes])
* 3 [[User:Bystander53|bystander]] ([[User talk:Bystander53|talk]]) 15:13, 21 May 2015 (UTC)
* 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:01, 22 May 2017 (UTC) but would extend this to read:
:: When we are mired in the relative world, never lifting our gaze to the mystery, our life is stunted, incomplete; we are filled with yearning for that paradise that is lost when, as young children, we replace it with words and ideas and abstractions — such as merit, such as past, present, and future — our direct, spontaneous experience of the thing itself, in the beauty and precision of this present moment. We identify, label, and interpret our surroundings as abstract concepts, quite separate from another concept, which is our own separate identity and ego. --&gt;

; 2018
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; The [[progress]] of the [[sciences]] toward theories of fundamental [[unity]], cosmic symmetry (as in the [[unified field theory]]) — how do such theories differ, in the end, from that unity which [[Plato]] called “unspeakable” and “indiscribable,” the [[holistic]] [[knowledge]] shared by so many peoples of the earth, [[Christians]] included, before the advent of the industrial revolution made new barbarians of the peoples of the West? In the [[United States]], before spiritualist foolishness at the end of the last century confused [[mysticism]] with “the [[occult]]” and tarnished both, [[William James]] wrote a master work of [[metaphysics]]; [[Emerson]] spoke of “the [[wise]] [[silence]], the universal beauty, to which every part and particle is equally related, the [[eternal]] One . . .”; [[Melville]] referred to “that profound silence, that only [[voice]] of [[God]]”; [[Walt Whitman]] celebrated the most ancient secret, that no God could be found “more [[divine]] than yourself.” And then, almost everywhere, a clear and subtle illumination that lent [[magnificence]] to [[life]] and [[peace]] to [[death]] was overwhelmed in the hard glare of [[technology]]. Yet that light is always present, like the [[stars]] of noon. Man must perceive it if he is to transcend his fear of meaningless, for no amount of “progress” can take its place.
| author = Peter Matthiessen
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:55, 21 May 2018 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2019
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; Amazingly, we take for granted that [[instinct]] for [[survival]], [[fear]] of [[death]], must separate us from the [[happiness]] of [[pure]] and uninterpreted [[experience]], in which [[body]], [[mind]], and [[nature]] are the same. And this [[debasement]] of our [[Visions|vision]], the retreat from [[wonder]], the backing away like lobsters into safe crannies, the [[desperate]] instinct that our life passes unlived, is reflected in proliferation without [[joy]], corrosive [[money]] rot, the gross [[pollution|befouling]] of the [[earth]] and [[air]] and [[water]] from which we came.
| author = Peter Matthiessen
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Bystander53|bystander]]&lt;!-- Amazingly, we take for granted that instinct for survival, fear of death, must separate us from the happiness of pure and uninterpreted experience, in which body, mind, and nature are the same. This retreat from wonder, the backing away like lobsters into safe crannies, the desperate instinct that our life passes unlived, is reflected in proliferation without joy, corrosive money rot, the gross befouling of the earth and air and water from which we came. ~ [[w:Peter Matthiessen|Peter Matthiessen]] (dob: 1927 May 22) ([http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/6975.Peter_Matthiessen goodreads quotes])
* 3 [[User:Bystander53|bystander]] ([[User talk:Bystander53|talk]]) 15:13, 21 May 2015 (UTC)
* 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:49, 21 May 2019 (UTC), but corrected to read:
:: {{quote of the day
| quote = Amazingly, we take for granted that instinct for survival, fear of death, must separate us from the happiness of pure and uninterpreted experience, in which body, mind, and nature are the same. And this debasement of our vision, the retreat from wonder, the backing away like lobsters from free-swimming life into safe crannies, the desperate instinct that our life passes unlived, is reflected in proliferation without joy, corrosive money rot, the gross befouling of the earth and air and water from which we came.
| author = Peter Matthiessen
}} --&gt;

; 2020
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; To glimpse one’s own [[true]] [[nature]] is a kind of homegoing, to a place East of the [[Sun]], West of the [[Moon]] — the homegoing that needs no [[home]], like that waterfall on the upper Suli Gad that turns to mist before touching the [[earth]] and rises once again into the [[sky]].
| author = Peter Matthiessen
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Bystander53|bystander]]&lt;!-- To glimpse one’s own true nature is a kind of homegoing, to a place East of the Sun, West of the Moon—the homegoing that needs no home, like that waterfall on the upper Suli Gad that turns to mist before touching the earth and rises once again into the sky. ~ [[w:Peter Matthiessen|Peter Matthiessen]] (dob: 1927 May 22) ([http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/6975.Peter_Matthiessen goodreads quotes])
* 3 [[User:Bystander53|bystander]] ([[User talk:Bystander53|talk]]) 15:13, 21 May 2015 (UTC)
* 3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:29, 22 May 2020 (UTC) because this suggestion has now been confirmed and adequately sourced on the author's page. --&gt;

; 2021
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; There’s a [[creation]], a creating force. But whatever it is is in everything we see. It’s in that log, in that [[stone]]. It’s just the [[power]]. And I’ve had many [[experiences]] with it. Certain circumstances bring it out, which all the [[mystics]] know. That is part of our [[Zen]] [[training]] too. It’s called an &quot;opening.&quot; … For a second, you see what the [[world]] is. It is a whole other way of seeing, which is horrible, terrifying, and extraordinary and a [[great]] [[blessing]] to have.
| author = Peter Matthiessen
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 01:11, 22 May 2021 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2022
{{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; I have often tried to isolate that [[quality]] of &quot;[[Zen]]&quot; which attracted me so powerfully to its [[literature]] and later to the practice of [[w:zazen|zazen]]. But since the [[essence]] of Zen might well be what one [[teacher]] called &quot;the moment-by-moment [[awakening]] of [[mind]],&quot; there is little that may sensibly be said about it without succumbing to that breathless, mystery-ridden prose that drives so many [[sincere]] aspirants in the other direction. In zazen, one may [[hope]] to penetrate the ringing stillness of universal mind, and this &quot;intimation of immortality,&quot; as [[Wordsworth]] called it, also shines forth from the brief, cryptic Zen texts, which refer obliquely to that absolute [[reality]] beyond the grasp of our linear vocabulary, yet right here in this [[moment]], in this ink and paper, in the sound of this hand turning the page.
| author = Peter Matthiessen
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:25, 22 May 2022 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2023
{{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; We [[need]] to [[unite]] and make [[Russia]] the last aggressor. So that only [[peace]] reigns after the [[defeat]] of its [[2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine|invasion of Ukraine]]. &lt;br /&gt; We, people, have different [[cultures]], different views, different [[national]] [[flags]]. But we equally want [[security]] for ourselves, our [[children]] and grandchildren. And our lives are equally burned to ashes if, [[God]] forbid, [[war]] comes. &lt;br /&gt; Everyone in the [[world]] must do everything possible to ensure that wars leave only [[shadows]] on the stones of [[history]] and that this can only be seen in museums. &lt;br /&gt; Everyone in the world must respect other nations. &lt;br /&gt; Everyone in the world must recognize state borders. &lt;br /&gt; Everyone in the world must defend [[justice]]. &lt;br /&gt; Everyone in the world must care about [[life]]. &lt;br /&gt; Everyone in the world must take peace as their [[duty]].&lt;!-- &lt;br /&gt; Thank you, Hiroshima, for every blue and yellow flag on the streets these days. When there is a Ukrainian flag, it is evidence that there is faith in freedom, faith in life, faith in our people. Thank you!  --&gt;
| author = Volodymyr Zelenskyy
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- {{quote of the day
| quote = We need to unite and make Russia the last aggressor. So that only peace reigns after the defeat of its invasion of Ukraine. &lt;br /&gt; We, people, have different cultures, different views, different national flags. But we equally want security for ourselves, our children and grandchildren. And our lives are equally burned to ashes if, God forbid, war comes. &lt;br /&gt; Everyone in the world must do everything possible to ensure that wars leave only shadows on the stones of history and that this can only be seen in museums. &lt;br /&gt; Everyone in the world must respect other nations. &lt;br /&gt; Everyone in the world must recognize state borders. &lt;br /&gt; Everyone in the world must defend justice. &lt;br /&gt; Everyone in the world must care about life. &lt;br /&gt; Everyone in the world must take peace as their duty. &lt;br /&gt; Thank you, Hiroshima, for every blue and yellow flag on the streets these days. When there is a Ukrainian flag, it is evidence that there is faith in freedom, faith in life, faith in our people. Thank you! 
| author = Volodymyr Zelenskyy
}}
* 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:01, 22 May 2023 (UTC) --&gt;; recent remarks at G7 summit in Hiroshima.

; 2024
{{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; A [[w:Mahayana|Mahayana]] teaching with a strong [[Taoist]] infusion, [[w:Ch'an|Ch'an]] or [[w:Zen|Zen]] cast off the dead weight of priestly ritual and mindless chanting of the sutras or scriptures — the records of the [[Buddha]]'s teachings — and returned to the simple [[w:zazen|zazen]] way of [[Shakyamuni]]. In a statement attributed to the First Chinese Patriarch, [[w:Bodhidharma|Bodhidharma]], an old monk from [[India]] who is loosely associated with the birth of Zen, the new teaching was described as &quot;a special transmission outside the scriptures, not founded upon [[words]] or letters. By pointing directly to man's own [[mind]], it lets him see into his own true [[nature]] and thus attain [[w:Buddhahood|Buddhahood]].&quot;
| author = Peter Matthiessen
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]&lt;!-- * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:18, 21 May 2024 (UTC) &lt;s&gt;3 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:25, 22 May 2022 (UTC) &lt;/s&gt; --&gt;

; 2025
{{quote of the day
| quote =  &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt; [[Zen]] has been called the &quot;[[religion]] before religion,&quot; which is to say that anyone can practice, including those committed to another [[faith]]. And that phrase evokes that [[natural]] religion of our early [[childhood]], when [[heaven]] and a [[splendorous]] [[earth]] [[Unity|were one]]. But soon the child's clear eye is clouded over by [[ideas]] and [[opinions]], preconceptions and abstractions. Not until years later does an [[instinct]] come that a vital sense of [[mystery]] has been withdrawn. The [[sun]] glints through the pines, and the [[heart]] is pierced in a [[moment]] of [[beauty]] and [[strange]] [[pain]], like a [[memory]] of [[paradise]].&lt;br /&gt; After that day, at the bottom of each breath, there is a hollow place that is filled with longing. We become seekers without [[knowing]] what we seek.
| author = Peter Matthiessen
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Bystander53|bystander]]&lt;!-- Soon the child’s clear eye is clouded over by ideas and opinions, preconceptions, and abstractions. Simple free being becomes encrusted with the burdensome armor of the ego. Not until years later does an instinct come that a vital sense of mystery has been withdrawn. The sun glints through the pines and the heart is pierced in a moment of beauty and strange pain, like a memory of paradise. After that day, we become seekers. ~ [[w:Peter Matthiessen|Peter Matthiessen]] (dob: 1927 May 22) ([http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/6975.Peter_Matthiessen goodreads quotes])
* 3 [[User:Bystander53|bystander]] ([[User talk:Bystander53|talk]]) 15:13, 21 May 2015 (UTC)
* 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:26, 22 May 2025 (UTC) but extended for context and corrected to read:
{{quote of the day
| quote = Zen has been called the &quot;religion before religion,&quot; which is to say that anyone can practice, including those committed to another faith. And that phrase evokes that natural religion of our early childhood, when heaven and a splendorous earth were one. But soon the child's clear eye is clouded over by ideas and opinions, preconceptions and abstractions. Not until years later does an instinct come that a vital sense of mystery has been withdrawn. The sun glints through the pines, and the heart is pierced in a moment of beauty and strange pain, like a memory of paradise.&lt;br /&gt; After that day, at the bottom of each breath, there is a hollow place that is filled with longing. We become seekers without knowing what we seek.
| author = Peter Matthiessen
}}
 * 4 &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:24, 22 May 2025 (UTC) --&gt;

; 2026
{{quote of the day
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt;Every [[moment]] of [[life]] is to be lived [[calmly]], [[mindfully]], as if it were the last, to insure that the most is made of the precious [[human]] state — the only one in which [[enlightenment]] is possible. And only the enlightened can recall their former lives; for the rest of us, the [[memories]] of [[past]] [[existences]] are but glints of [[light]], twinges of [[longing]], passing [[shadows]], disturbingly familiar, that are gone before they can be grasped, like the passage of that silver bird on [[w:Dhaulagiri|Dhaulagiri]].
| author = Peter Matthiessen
}}
:* proposed by [[User:Bystander53|bystander]]&lt;!-- And only the enlightened can recall their former lives; for the rest of us, the memories of past existences are but glints of light, twinges of longing, passing shadows, disturbingly familiar, that are gone before they can be grasped, like the passage of that silver bird on Dhaulagiri. ~ [[w:Peter Matthiessen|Peter Matthiessen]] (dob: 1927 May 22) ([http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/6975.Peter_Matthiessen goodreads quotes])
* 3 [[User:Bystander53|bystander]] ([[User talk:Bystander53|talk]]) 15:13, 21 May 2015 (UTC) 
 — used this but extended it slightly for context   — Kalki 2026·05·21 --&gt;

; 2027 : ''[[May 22|Rank or add further suggestions…]]''
----
&lt;noinclude&gt;
{{QOTD Ranking}}
----
----
== Suggestions ==

The glee of it. The ecstasy of It. I can't speak about this It because I know no word. It is just there, It is always there, like death in life. In this instant I know that something terrible is rising that must be seized and turned back upon itself before it twists outward into violence. But that knowing always comes too late, a wild unraveling is under way and I am caught up in it like a coyote seen late one afternoon in an Arkansas tornado-a toy dog spinning skyward, struck white by a ray of sun against black clouds, then black, then white, then gone and lost forever. The wind dies. A dead stillness. Mirror water. That ecstasy that shivered every nerve replaced by the precise knowing that what this self perpetrated is as much a part of the universal will as erupting lava that subsides once more into the inner earth. ~ [[w:Peter Matthiessen|Peter Matthiessen]] (dob: 1927 May 22) ([http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/6975.Peter_Matthiessen goodreads quotes])
* 3 [[User:Bystander53|bystander]] ([[User talk:Bystander53|talk]]) 15:13, 21 May 2015 (UTC)

----

&lt;noinclude&gt;
&lt;!-- interwiki start --&gt;

&lt;!-- interwiki end --&gt;
&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>4yv4e3b5vxfka9cfvr7vt27k4jpcy9r</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Shark Tale</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>28634</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943980</id>
      <parentid>3941593</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T15:17:52Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30520-48</username>
        <id>3326505</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943980</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="89509" sha1="sehq8uv9znud8rfgn2sju0163aynakf" xml:space="preserve">[[File:14500 Gloucester - Flickr - megabus13601.jpg|thumb|Remember this name: '''''OSCAR THE SHARKSLAYER!''''']]
{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Shark Tale|Shark Tale]]''''', also known as '''''Sharkslayer''''' and spelled &quot;'''''SharkTale'''''&quot; or &quot;''''''Shark-Slayer'''''&quot;, is a [[wikipedia:2004 in film|2004]] [[w:computer animation|computer-animated film]] produced by [[w:DreamWorks Animation|DreamWorks Animation]] and distributed by [[w:DreamWorks Pictures|DreamWorks Pictures]]. Starring the voices of [[Will Smith]], [[Angelina Jolie]], [[w:Renée Zellweger|Renée Zellweger]], [[Jack Black]], [[Martin Scorsese]], and [[Robert De Niro]], it tells the story of Oscar, a low cleaning fish who takes credit for killing the son of shark mob boss Don Lino.
:''Directed by [[w:Bibo Bergeron|Bibo Bergeron]], [[Vicky Jenson]] and [[w:Rob Letterman|Rob Letterman]]. Written by [[w:Michael J. Wilson|Michael J. Wilson]] and Rob Letterman.''
{{center|'''Behind every little fish is a great white lie.''' [[#Taglines|Taglines]]}}

==Dialogue==
:''[First lines; DreamWorks Animation with scene logos Moon Child throws a fishing pole with a worm named Dewey tied to the hook into the water. The worm looks up as he holds his breath, as a shark circles around him. The worm panics as he looks behind him to see...]''
:'''Lenny''': Hi. I'm Lenny. ''[The worm faints]'' Oh, little buddy, did I scare you? I'm sorry. Wake up. Wake up! Okay, don't worry about it. I'm going to get you out in a jiffy, you just keep holding your breath, little wormy.
:'''Frankie''': ''[offscreen]'' Yo, Lenny!
:'''Lenny''': Ah! I'm coming, Frankie!
:'''Frankie''': ''[offscreen]'' Well, move it. Come on. Pop's waiting.
:'''Lenny''': ''[finally unties the worm]'' There we go, and... Gotcha! Okay, you're free now, just go. ''[the worm slinks back up the line]'' Just go, cry freedom. ''[he turns to see Frankie scowling]'' Aagh! Oh, you almost gave me a heart attack!
:'''Frankie''': Lenny, what are you doing?
:'''Lenny''': Oh, I was just, uh... ''[grabs a bundle of flowers]'' Picking you some flowers. ''[Frankie slaps them out of Lenny's hand]'' Hey! Mom said it's not okay to hit. ''[Frankie smacks his shoulders]'' Aah!
:'''Frankie''': Mom's not here. ''[he swims away, humming the JAWS theme]''
:'''Lenny''': Don't. ''Don't.'' Ugh, that song gives me the creeps.
:'''Frankie''': What do you mean? It's our theme song. ''[he and Lenny swim away]''
:'''Katie Current''': ''[to the crew offscreen]'' Are they gone? Are they gone? Are you sure? ''[looks at the camera]'' Good morning, Southeast Reef. I'm Katie Current keeping it current. I just received confirmation that the sharks are gone. I repeat, the sharks are gone. ''[The big screen turns off before the citizens of fishes and other sea animals roaming around the city as the title &quot;Shark Tale&quot; appears on screen and the song &quot;Three Little Birds&quot; by Sean Paul and Ziggy Marley plays in the background. A ray switches a door sign from &quot;closed&quot; to &quot;open&quot; to a flower shop. A giant fish with a sign &quot;Starfish Tours&quot; swims to stop at the stop, where all the tourist fishes swims towards a walk of fame with starfishes lays on every tile.]''
:'''Starfish #1:''' Tuna Turner!
:'''Starfish #2:''' Mussel Crowe!
:'''Starfish #3:''' Jessica Shrimpson!
:'''Starfish #4:''' Cod Stewart!
:''[A fifth starfish on the tile with &quot;Seal&quot; on it, is being stepped on a seal before the scene cuts to a shop with TV in a window playing news]''
:'''Katie Current:''' Up next, a mother of 800 tells us how she does it all. ''[scene shows a mother fish with her 800 baby fishes crying before skip to another fish reporter]'' But first, over to Janice for the traffic report.
:'''Janice:''' Thanks, Katie. A slight congestion here on the InterReef 95. There's an overturned mackerel. Authorities are trying to calm him down. ''[a camera follows Janice to a TBD where a large fish, flipped upside down, is sobbing]'' Get out those shell phones and call in to the boss, 'cause you'll be late.
:''[A taxi fish yells at another taxi fish in Hindi.]''
:'''Taxi fish:''' Don't you yell at me. My mother is your mother, okay?!
:''[The first taxi fish groans and swim to another direction around Reef City. It stops to a traffic with a single light reads &quot;don't swim&quot; and changed to &quot;swim&quot;. The camera pans down to stop the big green and blue fish opens its mouth where a small fish dumps the pile of garbage into its mouth before it leaves from the seen. In the prawn shop, a white peril throws at the blue shrimp at the booth where he looks at it]''
:'''Blue shrimp:''' Yup, it's fake.
:'''Clam:''' ''[angry]'' Fake?! I worked eight years on that!
:''[the scene cuts to a group of lobsters, as trains, crawling through the railroad as the camera pans down to a sushi cafe, where it cuts inside where, the song pauses, a waiter fish stays still for 10 seconds before grabs a knife and furiously puts on a table and groans as his restaurant is empty, before the camera zooms back outside, as the song plays back, and the camera pans to a large screen in a building playing news]''
:'''Katie Current:''' According to the latest Scallop Poll, fear of sharks is at an all-time high. Join us tonight for an in-depth report. How long must this reef live under siege? Is there no hero among us? Who can stop this shark menace?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Oscar''': Hi, I'm Oscar. You might think you know, but you have no idea. ''[rap music]'' Welcome to my crib. The good life, the way the other half lives. Check it out, I got my 60&quot; inch high-def, flatscreen TV with 6-speaker surround-sound, CD, DVD, PlayStation hook-up, and an 8-track player for days when you're feeling just a little... ''[beatbox]'' old school. ''[laughs]'' 'Cause even a superstar Mack daddy fish like me has to have the necessities.
:'''Shorty #1''': ''[appears]'' Yeah, like money! ''[Camera zooms out to show Oscar standing in front of billboard ad]''
:'''Oscar''': Come on, Shorties, why you messing with my fantasy?
:'''Shorty #1''': 'Cause you're so broke, your baloney has no first name.
:'''Oscar''': That's very funny.
:'''Crazy Joe''': Hey, Oscar. Over here. I gotta talk to ya.
:'''Oscar''': Be right there. Hang onto these.
:'''Shorty #3''': Oscar, you da fish.
:'''Shorty #2''': Yo, dude.
:'''Oscar''': Yo, Crazy Joe!
:'''Crazy Joe''': Now that you live in a great penthouse, can I be your financial advisor?
:'''Oscar''': That's a billboard, Crazy Joe.
:'''Crazy Joe''': You live in a billboard? And they call ''me'' crazy! ''[laughs insanely while floating away with an umbrella]''
:'''Shorty #1''': Hey, Oscar! Look who came to visit!
:'''Oscar''': ''[turns around and freaks out]'' YAAH!!! ''[They shorties spray-painted the billboard with a pic of Oscar being devoured by a shark bursting through the penthouse floor]''
:'''Shorties''': ''[laughing]'' Gotcha!
:'''Oscar''': No, don't do that! Shouldn't you kids be in school?
:'''Shorty #2''': Shouldn't you be at work?
:'''Oscar''': Right back at me, eh? Little smart mouth? Now I'm on my way and y'all stay outta trouble. ''[turns back to the graffiti]'' And clean that stuff up!
:'''Shorty #3''': See ya! ''[The Shorties clean the graffiti]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Missy Elliott: &quot;Car Wash&quot;]''
:'''Crazy Joe''': See ya, Oscar. ''[laughs]''
:'''Oscar''': Yo, what's up, fellas? Big O's in the house.
:'''Crab''': Hi, Oscar.
:'''Eels''': Hi, Oscar!
:'''Oscar''': What's up? Hey. Reef side. Yo, Johnson, is it lunch yet?
:'''Johnson''': You just got here.
:'''Oscar''': That's my point. Hey, Headphone Guy. Looking good, ladies.
:'''Turtle''': Hey, Oscar.
:'''Oscar''': Keep up the bad work. Huh? I'm already punched in? Angie.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Angie''': Good morning. Can I help you?
:'''Whale''': One wash and mouth, please.
:'''Angie''': Hot wax?
:'''Whale''': Please.
:'''Angie''': Kelp Scrape. We're having a special, what do you say?
:'''Whale''': Why not? It's mating season, and I'm feeling lucky! ''[leaves]''
:''[Phone rings]''
:'''Angie''': Whale of the wash, and the price... ''[blissful sigh]'' Oh, my gosh. ''[camera pans to Angie doodling her crush on Oscar]'' May I suggest a barnacle peel? Removes lines and salt damage. Good.
:'''Oscar''': ''[enters]'' Hey, Ang.
:'''Angie''': OH, MY GOSH! ''[quickly hides her secret paper]'' Hi Oscar!
:'''Oscar''': Thanks for covering for me. ''[over the phone]'' Hey yo, Angie needs to get her freak on! Could ya hold for one moment please? Thanks, dawg! ''[hangs up]''
:'''Angie''': Oscar!
:'''Oscar''': Come on, Ang! Dance with me, mama! ♪ You might not ever be rich! ♪
:'''Angie''': Oscar! You're gonna get me fired!
:'''Oscar''': You? Fired? ''[scoffs]'' That can't happen, 'cause then I'd have absolutely NO reason to come to work.
:'''Angie''': ''[sheepishly]'' Oh, you don't mean that.
:'''Oscar''': 'Course I do. You're, like, my best friend. ''[Angie gasps; then when Oscar's not looks, dramatically pretends to jab herself in the heart with her pen. When Oscar turns back to her, she quickly hides the pen with a sheepish giggle]'' Listen, tell me what you think about this. This is like the best idea ever, all right. It's a sure thing, guaranteed cash extravaganza. Bottled water.
:'''Angie:''' Oh, no.
:'''Oscar:''' All I need is an advance on my paycheck from the boss and, Ang, I am out of this place. I mean, I am... pschoo!
:'''Angie:''' Oscar. Instead of getting in Mr. Sykes' face with another get-rich-quick scheme, go do something you're actually good at: your job, which by some miracle you still have. 
:'''Oscar:''' Oh. I almost forgot. I brought you some breakfast.
:'''Angie:''' You didn't. Kelpy Kremes?
:'''Oscar:''' Your favorite. By the way, you're still on hold.
:'''Angie''': Oh, my gosh! Thank you for holding. Busy, busy. Go. How can I help you? No, I'm sorry. Mr. Sykes is at a meeting right now. He won't be back till later.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A dark ship. The camera fades in, showing Don Lino feeding his fish]''
:'''Don Lino''': ''[to his fish]'' How are my babies this morning? You miss me? You doing good? Huh? Huh? ''[To Sykes]'' You see, Sykes, it's a fish-eat-fish world, ''[he drops a food pellet into the tank]'' you either take, or you get taken. ''[The fish sprout razor teeth and devour the pellet as Lino closes the tank's lid]''
:'''Sykes''': ''[hastily]'' Truer words have never been spoken. Is that it? That all? We done?
:'''Don Lino''': Now, you and me, we worked together a long, long, long time.
:'''Sykes''': Please, Don Lino, it's hardly been like work.
:'''Don Lino''': You know...
:'''Sykes''': I love that about you.
:'''Don Lino''': Let me finish. That I've lived my life for my sons. Raising and protecting them...
:'''Sykes''': You're the best! He's the best, right? Am I right or am I wrong? Am I right?
:'''Don Lino''': It's all been to prepare...
:'''Sykes''': Right?
:'''Don Lino''': ...to prepare them...
:'''Sykes''': Sorry.
:'''Don Lino''': Yeah. It's all right. ...for the day they run the reef. Well, today is that day. ''[pauses; The record player gets stuck]'' Luca.
:'''Luca''': ''[moves the needle; the record player plays &quot;Baby Got Back&quot; by Six Mix-a-Lot; Luca quickly moves the needle again and it cuts off]'' Hey, Boss, big butts! ''[chuckles]''
:'''Don Lino''': ''[facepalming]'' Oy vey. Long story short, from now on yous work for Frankie and Lenny. Capiche?
:'''Sykes''': ''[laughs a bit]'' Lenny? Frankie, I understand, but Lenny? You can't be serious.
:'''Don Lino''': I'm dead serious. It takes more than muscle to run things. Now Lenny, he's got the brains. That's something special.
:'''Sykes''': He's special all right.
:'''Don Lino''': What's that supposed to mean?
:'''Sykes''': Nothing. I'm just saying...
:'''Don Lino''': Hey, I bring you in here, look you in the eye, tell you what's what, and what?
:'''Sykes''': What?
:'''Don Lino''': What &quot;what&quot;?
:'''Sykes''': &quot;What, what&quot; nothing. You said &quot;what&quot; first.
:'''Don Lino''': I didn't say what first. I asked ''you'' what.
:'''Sykes''': No, you said &quot;And then what?&quot;, and I said &quot;What?&quot;
:'''Don Lino''': ''[confused]'' No, I said &quot;what what&quot;, like what, what?! ''[brief pauses]''
:'''Sykes''': ''[breakling paused]'' You said &quot;what&quot; first.
:'''Don Lino''': ''[annoyed]'' Now you're makin' fun of me?!
:'''Sykes''': ''[hastily]'' No, no, no, no, you misunderstood! ''[His sons arrived]''
:'''Frankie''': Sorry we're late, Pop. Lenny had an accident. He was born.
:'''Lenny''': ''[sarcastic laughter]'' You're a comic genius.
:'''Sykes''': Look, all I'm saying is the kid ain't exactly no killer.
:'''Don Lino''': My Lenny ''is'' a killer! Ya hear me? A cold-blooded killer! Look at him! ''[Lino and Sykes both notice Lenny obliviously spinning around on his chair; Frankie shakes his head]''
:'''Sykes''': Huh?
:'''Don Lino''': ''[paused; moreness annoyedling]'' That's it. That's IT! You are OUT!
:'''Sykes''': ''[shocked]'' What?! ''[inflates; high pitched]'' Whaddya mean I'm &quot;out&quot;?!
:'''Don Lino''': You're fired! ''[pushes Sykes; Sykes screams and lands on a picture across the room]'' And on top of that, you're gonna have to start paying me!
:'''Sykes''': ''[high pitched]'' For what?
:'''Don Lino''': ''[ominously]'' So nothing happens to that little Whale Wash of yours. ''[Cut to the Oscar and workers at the Whale Wash]''
:'''Oscar''': ''[while shoveled the slime off the whale's tongue]'' Welcome to Oscar's crib. 60 foot slime-covered tongue with canker sores, swim-in cavities and plankton-encrusted teeth for when I feel a little… ''[exasperated]'' old school!
:'''Pontrelli''': Ah, stop your moaning, Oscar! It could be a lot worse, you know?
:'''Oscar''': Yeah, that's true. I could have this job, and look like you! ''[laughs; sudden rumbling]'' Indigestion... '''''SHE'S GONNA BLOW!''' [Workers start scattering]''
:'''Knuckles''': Wait! Headphone Guy's still in there. ''[Headphone Guy is cleaning the whale, oblivious to the rumbling]''
:'''Oscar''': ''[slowly motion]'' '''I GOT YOU, HEADPHONE GUY!''' ''[he and Headphone Guy brace themselves on the whale's uvula, the normal motion. The scrubbers peak when...the whale let us out a small belch, sending some slime onto Oscar. The workers laughs]''
:'''Oscar''': ''[groans as he rubs the slime off him]'' Still think it could be worse?
:'''Pontrelli''': Yeah! I could look like you!
:'''Oscar''': Haha! Ya'll funny. Well, see if you laugh at THIS! ''[throws slimeball at Pontrelli, who ducks with a laughs, and it hits in splat instructor Johnson, causing him to stagger around and accidentally hits a button that sprays soap in the whale's eye, causing the whale to screams in pain and anogy]''
:'''Whale''': Ohh! Ohh! My eye! OHH!!
:'''Oscar''': '''''SOAP IN THE EYE, SOAP IN THE EYE!''' [Flips the emergency; the grabbers grab the screams whale very tightly; quickly cleans the whale's eye]'' It's all right. I'ma get you some nice coupons, we gonna get you a free hot wax and all you like that? Aight, go ahead, Big Baby.
:'''Whale''': Thanks, Oscar.
:'''Oscar''': Alright. ''[gets slapped on the back by Ernie and shocked, causing the bucket to land on his head]''
:'''Ernie''': Well, look who it is, Bernie.
:'''Bernie''': Just the fish we're looking for.
:'''Ernie''': Yeah. ''[Oscar struggles to remove the bucket]''
:'''Bernie''': The boss be needing to see you right now.
:'''Ernie''': Right now.
:'''Oscar''': ''[getting the bucket off]'' Ernie. Bernie. My jellyfish brothers. Boo-ya-ka. Hey, what's up, man? Man, it's good to see y'all... Huh? What'd you say, Ang? Okay. Fellas, I'm gonna go ahead over there. ''[singing]'' But don't worry ''[beatboxes]'' About a thing 'Cause every little thing ''[Bernie and Ernie shakes the head no]'' Is gonna be all right... ''[gets slapped again]''
:'''Ernie''': That's not the way you sing that song, one. ''[Cut into the Oscar is tossed into Sykes' office and rolls into his desk]''
:'''Oscar''': Hey, Sykes! My brother from another mother. What the deezy, baby? ''[Oscar tries dapping Sykes up, who sighs annoyed at his antics]'' Show me dat. What's going down? Hey, baby, this is all gravy today. Now snap your fin... Snap it. You're not snapping it...
:'''Sykes''': ''[pulls his hand back]'' Oscar!
:'''Oscar''': Hey, don't sweat it. A lot of white fish can't do it.
:'''Sykes''': Oscar, would you just sit down, okay?
:'''Oscar''': ''[Ernie and Bernie force him into a chair]'' Thank you.
:'''Sykes''': I've been going over my markers. You're into me for five grand. 5 G's, okay?
:'''Oscar''': 5 Gs? Man, you tripping, 5 Gs.
:'''Sykes''': Oh, yeah? See if ''[throws unpaid loan documents at Oscar] this'' refreshes your memory.
:'''Oscar''': ''[As he picks them back up into a pile and places them on Sykes' desk]'' That's crazy, look at that. You wrote everything down so you wouldn't forget. This a perfect example of why you're in management, and I'm not. You go, boy.
:'''Sykes''': Look, I have to start pay Don Lino protection, so everything you owe me, you owe him!
:'''Oscar''': How you figure that?
:'''Sykes''': Simple - the food chain! ''[pulls out chart]'' On top there's Don Lino, there's me, there's regular fish.
:'''Oscar''': And that's me!
:'''Sykes''': No. There's plankton, there's single-celled amoebas.
:'''Oscar''': And then me!
:'''Sykes''': I'm getting there, I'm getting there. There's coral, there's rocks, there's whale poo, and ''then'' there's you.
:'''Oscar''': That's messed up.
:'''Sykes''': So if Don Lino's squeezing me... he's squeezing ''you''!
:'''Oscar''': What? ''[the chart suddenly pulls up, catching Sykes in the chin]''
:'''Ernie''': Easy, boss. Find a happy place.
:'''Bernie''': Yeah, a happy place!
:'''Sykes''': There ''is'' no happy place with him around! ''[agitated he puffs up; higher pitched] I'm SERIOUS!''
:'''Oscar''': AH! All right, look! Just give me another chance-! I-I'm ''begging'' you, Sykes please! Please!
:'''Sykes''': ''[high-pitched]'' All right. ''[deflates; normally]'' Because I &quot;like&quot; you, I'm gonna give you 24 hours to pay up.
:'''Oscar''': All of it? How am I supposed to do that?
:'''Sykes''': That's your problem. Bring me 5,000 clams to the racetrack tomorrow, or else.
:'''Oscar''': Or else what?
:'''Sykes''': The boys will explain. ''[exits his office]''
:''[Ernie and Bernie approach Oscar while grinning and laughing in a threatening manner; cut to black as they sting him as a warning]''
:'''Oscar''': ''[offscreen and strained]'' Unpleasant.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Angie''': 5,000 clams!? You borrowed 5,000 clams from Mr. Sykes? Oscar, why do you get yourself into these situations?
:'''Oscar''': I don't know, Ang. It's just hard, all right, because I'm a little fish in a big pond. A really big pond. The ocean. I'm a nobody. I want some of that.
:'''Angie''': Mrs. Sanchez?
:'''Oscar''': What? Ew. No. That. The top of the reef, where the somebodies live. I wanna be rich and famous like them, but I'm stuck down here.
:'''Angie''': Well, what's wrong with down here?
:'''Oscar''': I'll tell you what's wrong with down here. Remember my dad? He worked at the Wash his whole life. ''[voiceover]'' He was the #1 tongue scrubber. Every year for 25 years. To me, working at the Wash, was the coolest job in the ocean. But then I learned something I will never forget.
:'''Male Fish Student''': ''[in memory]'' Oscar's dad's a tongue scrubber! 
:'''Fish Students''': ''[in memory]'' Tongue scrubber! Tongue scrubber! Tongue scrubber! Tongue scrubber! Tongue scrubber! Tongue scrubber!
:'''Oscar''': My dad was the greatest. But nobody loves a nobody. I want to be a somebody.
:'''Angie''': Oscar, you don't have to live at the top of the reef to be a somebody.
:'''Oscar''': What's the difference? If I don't pay Mr. Sykes back by tomorrow... I'm dead anyway, so...
:'''Angie''': Wait here.
:'''Oscar''': What's this? A pink pearl?
:'''Angie''': Mm-hm.
:'''Oscar''': Where'd you get that?
:'''Angie''': My grandmother gave it to me. She said it started from a tiny grain of sand, but then, after a while, it grew into something beautiful. Dreams can begin small too.
:'''Oscar''': No. No, I couldn't...
:'''Angie''': Take it. It'll get you the money you need for Mr. Sykes.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[At a dinner in a shipwreck, Don Lino talks to Lenny about his recent behavior]''
:'''Don Lino''': ''[to Lenny]'' What do you mean you don't understand? What's there to understand? We've been over this 1,000 times. I don't want to have to say it again. You know, you're giving me agita, you know that? I don't know what else to say. Lenny, you see something, you kill it, you eat it. Period. ''[to the waiter]'' Thanks. ''[to Lenny]'' That's what sharks do. That's a fine tradition. What's the matter with you? Your brother, Frankie, here, he's a killer.
:'''Frankie''': ''[while eating oyster shells]'' Thanks, Pop.
:'''Don Lino''': He's beautiful. He does what he's supposed to do. ''[to Frankie]'' Wipe your face. ''[to Lenny]'' But you...I'm hearing things. You gotta understand when you look weak, it makes me look weak.
:'''Lenny''': I know. 
:'''Don Lino''': I can't have that. 
:'''Lenny''': Pop, I'm sorry.
:'''Don Lino''': Lenny. Lenny. Look at me. ''[Lenny's staring at his menu]'' Look at me. ''[He looks up with an uninterested gaze]'' This handing over the business is for you. It's for the both of yous. A-And you're acting like you don't even want it. ''[Lenny shrugs]'' I need to know you can handle that. ''[sighs; He spots some shrimp in a glass, and glances back at Lenny]'' All right, all right. ''[picks up the shrimp]'' Right here in front of me now, eat this.
:'''Lenny''': Yeah. Oh, gee, thanks, Pop. Here's the thing. I'm on a diet. And I read an article about these shrimps, they're not good for ya. I tell you. You know how many calories are in one of those shrimps? ''[looks closer at his menu]'' A lot.
:'''The Shrimp''': ''[to Don Lino]'' It's true. It's true and the other thing is.. well.. my sister had a baby and I took it over because she passed away, and then the baby lost its legs and its arms and now it's nothing but a stump, but I still take care of it with my wife and it's, It's growing and it's.. it's fairly happy, but it's difficult 'cause, I've been working a second shift at the factory to put food on the table, but all the love that I see in that little guy's face, makes it worth in the end… ''[mini pauses]'' True story. ''[Lenny wipes his tears with a sniff]''
:'''Don Lino''': ''[sighs]'' I'm not asking you anymore. I'm telling you. Eat it!
:'''The Shrimp''': No, have mercy!
:'''Lenny''': Pop, please...
:'''Don Lino''': Eat!
:'''The Shrimp''': No eat!
:'''Lenny''': What are ya...No!
:'''Don Lino''': Son, eat the shrimp! Eat!
:'''Lenny''': No, please!
:'''Don Lino''': Lenny! Eat, eat, eat!
:'''Lenny''': ''[finally snaps]'' '''PUT THE SHRIMP DOWN!''' ''[grabs the other shrimp and lets them all go]'' All right, go now. No one's looking. Get out of here. You're free now, go on. Go, go!
:'''The Shrimp''': Thank you. You're a good person. ''[glares at Lino, crackling his knuckles with a punch, and Lino is angered. The shrimp gestures to some other shrimp]'' Come on, fellas. ''[they all left with him, Lenny notices his dad is angry and embarrassed and sits down]''
:'''Frankie''': ''[trying to take some heat off of Lenny]'' Pop, I can handle the reef. It's not a problem.
:'''Don Lino''': No. No. We're gonna do this as a family. Frankie, I want you to take Lenny out and show him the ropes.
:'''Frankie''': Oh, come on, Pop.
:'''Don Lino''': ''[to Lenny]'' Son, you're gonna learn how to be a shark. Whether you like it, or not.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sykes''': That kid better show up or he's dead meat.
:'''Bernie''': Just say the word, boss.
:'''Oscar''': Carrying a big old envelope full of money, gonna give it to Mr. Sykes.
:'''Tip Fish #1''': Hurry up. This is our chance, we don't want to miss it. ''[knocks Oscar's money out of his hand as he passes by, causing Oscar to shriek a bit in surprise as he grabs it again]''
:'''Tip Fish #2''': You sure about this?
:'''Tip Fish #1''': My trader friend tipped me off. The race is rigged. ''[Oscar listens in]'' We can't lose.
:'''Tip Fish #2''': What's the horse's name?
:'''Tip Fish #1''': Lucky Day.
:'''Announcer''':... Lucky Day, at 200 to 1.
:'''Tip Fish #1''': We're gonna be rich!
:'''Tip Fish #2''': Rich! ''[Upon hearing about Lucky Day at the Seahorse Racetrack]''
:'''Oscar''': ''[excitedly]'' Ooh, top of the Reef, here I come! ''[stops himself]'' No, wait, what am I doing? Remember what Angie said remember what Angie said... What did Angie say? ''[In Oscar's fantasy]''
:'''Angie''': Dreams can begin small. You just have to...''bet it all!'' ''BET IT ALL!''
:'''Announcer''': ''And Lucky Day wins!''
:''[Oscar imagines himself living the high-life, then it cuts back to him holding the money. It cuts to him slamming the money on the table]''
:'''Oscar''': ''5,000 ON LUCKY DAY TO WIN!''
:'''Bet-taking Fish''': That's 200 to 1. That would pay a million clams!
:'''Oscar''': ''[takes his ticket]'' Well I guess that makes me, Oscar...''The Millionaire.''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lola''': Nice bet. ''[Oscar sheepishly giggles]'' You got a name? ''[He nods]'' You wanna tell me what it is? ''[Oscar giggles as he nods]'' Well, mine's Lola.
:'''Oscar''': ''[blubbers]'' Come on, man! Get your game face on! ''[slaps himself to tighten up as he yelps]'' So... ''[chuckles]'' Lola, my name's... Uh, My name is Oscar, sweetie. ''[gasps]'' Mrs. Sanchez.
:'''Mrs. Sanchez''': The hippity-hop smooth talk don't work with me.
:'''Oscar''': Oh, My bad. Hey, so, uh...
:'''Sykes''': Oscar. I was starting to think you skipped out on me.
:'''Oscar''': Sykes! Hey. Oh, I see you're already on your way to the concession stand.
:'''Sykes''': What are you doing?
:'''Oscar''': Mind bringing us back some drinks? That would be great, thanks. And some of them little wiener thingies.
:'''Bernie''': The ones with the toothpicks?
:'''Sykes''': What are you doing? Don't listen to him!
:'''Oscar''': Come on, Lola let me escort you to... my box.
:'''Security''': Your box?!
:'''Sykes''': His box?! You can't even afford the gum under the seats!
:'''Lola''': He just laid five grand on Lucky Day. I think he can afford anything he wants. ''[as she says this, Oscar makes various motions that she's crazy, only stopping with a sheepish wince]''
:'''Sykes''': Five grand? ''My five grand?!''
:'''Oscar''': No, it was another five grand.
:'''Sykes''': You had the money to pay me back and you bet it ''anyway?'' ''[angrily takes his ticket]'' Gimme that!
:'''Oscar''': Hold up. Sykes!
:'''Lola''': Clearly, I've made a mistake.  
:'''Oscar''': No, no, wait Lola!
:'''Lola''': Look, deep down, I'm really superficial. ''[pulls Oscar close as if to kiss him]'' And don't get me wrong: you're cute, but... ''[whispers as she pushes him away]'' you're a nobody. ''[leaves; Oscar became stunned]''
:'''Ernie''': ''[pretending to be Lola, puts mustard and ketchup on a hot dog on a stick so it looks like a face]'' Oscar, you're cute, but you're a nobody.
:'''Bernie''': ''[pretending to be Oscar, also put mustard and ketchup on a hot dog on a stick so it looks like a face]'' Wait. Lola. Come back. I'm not a nobody. I'm a wiener! ''[They both laugh, much to Oscar's annoyance]''
:'''Sykes''': You're unbelievable. You're in trouble up to you gills, and still you're asking for more? Now, go on, get in here!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Announcer''': ''The horses are lining up the post. ''[the bell rings and the seahorses rush out]'' And they're off! Out of the gates, it's Fish Fingers followed by Sea Biscuit and Salmonella. ''[Lucky Day can't open the gate]'' The long shot Lucky Day seems appears to be having trouble getting out of the gate.''
:'''Oscar''': What?!
:'''Announcer''': ''Only a sucker could've bet on that horse!''
:'''Oscar''': ''[to Sykes]'' No, no, no. Don't sweat it, man. He does this all the time. He's just playing.
:'''Announcer''': ''[Lucky Day busts through the gate] But what's this? Lucky Day's gone crashing his way through the gate! And he's off and running! Down the straightaway, it's Sea Biscuit, Fish Fingers and Lucky Day.''
:'''Oscar''': Please, Lucky Day, go fast. Go fast.
:'''Announcer''': ''Coming up the far turn, it's Sea Biscuit by a length, and Lucky Day well behind the pack. ''[Lucky Day catches up with the other seahorses]'' And here comes Lucky Day coming up from behind! He's passing, Yellowtail, Salmonella, and coming up on Fish Fingers!''
:'''Oscar''': See? See? Who's your fish now? Go!
:'''Announcer''': ''Around the final turn, here comes Lucky Day! Lucky Day's done caught up to Fish Fingers! They're head-to-head! Neck-and-neck! ''[Lucky Day takes the lead]'' Lucky Day's pulling ahead!''
:'''Oscar''': Sweet! I'm getting tired just thinking about all that money! ''[Sykes laughs]''
:'''Announcer''': ''Look at Lucky Day go!''
:'''Oscar and Sykes''': ''[singing]'' ''We're moving on up! To the East Side!''
:'''Announcer''': ''Absolutely amazing! This looks to be Lucky Day's big day! It's Lucky Day! ''[Lucky Day speeds up too fast and accidentally punches himself with his tail, causing him to tumble]'' Ooh, what happened?!?! Lucky Day is down!''
:'''Oscar and Sykes''': ''We're moving on up!'' ''[they both embrace]''
:'''Sykes''': ''To the East Side!''
:'''Oscar''': ''[gasps; sees what's happening on the track, slow-motion]'' [[Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith|'''''NOOOOO!!!!''''']]
:'''Announcer''': ''[as the other seahorses pass Lucky Day] And here comes Fish Fingers, followed by Sea Biscuit, Yellowtail... and Fish Fingers wins.''
:'''Sykes''': What happened? Let me see.
:'''Oscar''': Wait, wait, wait! I just wanna hold you.
:'''Sykes''': Hey, Oscar, get outta my way. Let me see. ''[sees that Lucky Day has lost]''
:'''Announcer''': ''What a sad day for Lucky Day.''
:'''Oscar''': Uh, remember your happy place, Sykes.
:'''Announcer''': ''And that's why they call him the long shot.''
:'''Oscar''': Yo, that was crazy, right? Who knew? I mean, everything's set, it's a lock, we good to go, we in the money, and he trips underwater. Who in the halibut trips underwater? ''[Sykes, seething with silent anger, rips the ticket up into small shreds]'' And by the way, on what?
:'''Sykes''': That's it! That's it! I've had it! ''[puffs up; in a higher pitch]'' Ernie, Bernie, I want you to find the deepest, darkest hole in the ocean, and when you do, dig deeper, and put him in it!? ''[invertedly pops a fish's balloon, causing her to scream. Oscar is tied and gagged with a seaweed and thrown into a whale's mouth]'' Sorry, kid. It's nothing personal. It's just business. ''[Ernie closes the whale's mouth. Cut to the Oscar is bound and gagged with seaweed while Ernie and Bernie stings him for fun]''
:'''Ernie and Bernie''': ''[singing]'' 🎵 [[Bob Marley|Don't worry / About a thing / 'Cause every little thing / Is gonna be all right.]] 🎵
:'''Ernie''': This is how you sing it, Oscar.
:'''Bernie''': Yeah.
:'''Ernie''': Sykes, he like you, mon.
:'''Bernie''': He say take it easy on you.
:'''Ernie''': But Sykes is not here. ''[laughs]''
:'''Bernie''': True. Ernie, let me ask you a question.
:'''Ernie''': Yeah, mon? Go on.
:'''Bernie''': Why is it that me locks can sting other people, but they do not affect me or you? ''[zaps Ernie, who screams]'' Ernie! I didn't mean it, Ernie! I didn't mean it, mon! ''[Ernie laughs and points at Bernie]'' Ernie, you made a joke! Good one, mon! Respect!
:'''Ernie''': Respect!
:'''Bernie''': Bloodfire!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Frankie and Lenny are swimming out of Lino's shipwreck]''
:'''Lenny''': Frankie, you know I can't do this.
:'''Frankie''': Lenny, if you want to make Pop happy, you've got to kill something.
:'''Lenny''': Or, I could find an old, sick fish and just wait.
:'''Frankie''': It's getting around, the other day at the restaurant, you know how fish talk. Biddi-bip, biddi-bop, this-that, the other, then how you doing? Boom! Forget about it, ya dead.
:'''Lenny''': Okay, seriously, I can't understand wise-guy, so you're gonna have to be specific.
:'''Frankie''': Oh specific? You want specific? ''[smacks him]'' Be a shark for once in your life!
:'''Lenny''': Ow! ''[downhearted]'' Oh, what am I going to do?
:'''Frankie''': ''[apologetically]'' Oh, Lenny, forget it about, okay, look, we do a couple practice runs, badda-bing, badda-boom, Pop's happy, you're a shark, life goes on, capisce?
:'''Lenny''': Okay, okay, capisce.
:'''Frankie''': ''[noticing Oscar's anchoring]'' Wait, wait, Whoa. Bingo. Right there, dead ahead. You see it? TV Dinner. ''[the two hunker on the outer border of the divot]'' Don't get easier than this.  
:'''Lenny''': All right. Come on. Eye of the tiger. Frankie, I can do this! What if I can't do this?
:'''Frankie''': Then don't bother coming home.
:'''Lenny''': Good point! All right. ''[swims to the bottom of the wasteland]''
:'''Bernie''': Hit him in the tail again. I like the funny face he make.
:'''Ernie''': On the face. Yeah.
:'''Bernie''': ''[noticing Lenny's approach]'' Ernie!
:'''Ernie''': BLOW OUT! ''[they swim away in panic]''
:'''Oscar''': ''[Manages to get an arm free and removes his gag]'' Uh… Guys? Guys, don't leave me alone. Come on, there could be sharks out here!
:'''Lenny''': ''[he is near, Oscar notices him and screams]'' Oh, no. Wait. I'm sorry. No, no, no. I'm not gonna…
:'''Frankie''': Lenny.
:'''Lenny''': What?
:'''Frankie''': Like this. ''[makes animalistic chews motions and sounds, Lenny licks Oscar's back, only to recoil in disgust]''
:'''Oscar''': Just get it over with. Wait a minute. Do me a favor, don't chew me. I'm not for that.
:'''Lenny''': I'm not gonna eat you.
:'''Oscar''': Come on! Don't do the whole head trip thing with me.
:'''Lenny''': Listen to me. Don't move until I tell you. ''[bites the seaweed free]''
:'''Oscar''': Ahhh! Back up! ''[Lenny makes animalistic noises as he fans the sand around him to make a cloud and obscure Frankie's vision]''
:'''Frankie''': That's it, Len. There you go, buddy! That's it. Wave those fins, baby! Dig in!
:'''Lenny''': ''[snarls]'' Look, I'm just pretending so you can get away.
:'''Oscar''': Huh?
:'''Lenny''': Now, when I turn around, you take off. Tastes just like chicken. ''[Turns around acting like he has devoured Oscar]'' Mmm. Mmm.
:'''Frankie''': ''[seeing Oscar behind Lenny; facepalming]'' Oh, no! ''[Lenny looks and notice Oscar is still there.]'' OH!!!
:'''Lenny''': What did I tell you?!
:'''Oscar''': I'm sorry. I didn't get it. You want me to go now?!
:'''Lenny''': What are you doing?! Just go!
:'''Frankie''': That's it! I've had enough to here! ''[snarls. Having enough of Lenny not eating Oscar, Frankie charged right at Oscar to eat him.]''
:'''Oscar''': Oh, no!
:'''Lenny''': Hurry! Swim! No, Frankie, wait!
:'''Oscar''': '''''NO!!!''''' Get you boy! Get you boy! EEF! EEV! '''''OH, NO!'''''
:''[Before Frankie can eat Oscar,  an anchor suddenly drops from a ship above and strikes Frankie on the head before he could bite the fish. Bernie and Bernie turn their heads fast from the distant. Lenny sees Frankie badly injured by a fallen anchor.]''
:'''Lenny''': ''[gasps]'' Frankie! ''[bites the chain of the anchor and throws the anchor to the other side]''
:'''Frankie''': ''[weak]'' Lenny? ''[coughs]'' Lenny, is that you?
:'''Lenny''': I'm here, Frankie.
:'''Frankie''': Come closer.
:'''Lenny''': Yes, what is it?
:'''Frankie''': I'm so cold...
:'''Lenny''': That's just because we're cold-blooded. ''[Frankie angrily slaps him]'' Ow!
:'''Frankie''': ''[last words; weak]'' Moron. ''[dies]''
:'''Lenny''': Frankie, no.... ''[gasps, wailing] '''NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!''' [sobs]'' This is all my fault! I'm so sorry, Frankie! How am I ever gonna explain this to Pop...? ''[gasps]'' Oh, no! ''[tearfully swims away and passes Oscar, who squeaks and lands in front of the now-deceased Frankie]''
:'''Oscar''': ''[finds Frankie dead behind him, thinks he's alive, and starts screaming crazily]'' Watch it! Back up! I'm crazy! I be tripping! ''[makes karate moves and noises until he accidentally kicks Bernie]''
:'''Bernie''': Ow! What the...?!
''[Oscar, Ernie, and Bernie start screaming loudly; Oscar hides behind the dead Frankie, protesting]''
:'''Bernie''': Don't hurt us! We're sorry! It was all Ernie's idea! ''[Ernie nods, then looks at Bernie angrily. Then they were surprised]'' 
:'''Ernie''': Oscar?
:'''Bernie''': Did you kill that shark?!
:'''Oscar''': ''[looks down at Frankie's body before having an idea]'' Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Exactly how it looks; that's how it is.
:'''Bernie''': What happened?
:'''Oscar''': Oh, you… You want to know what happened. 
:'''Bernie''': Yes, Mon.
:'''Ernie''': You're standing on top of a shark, Mon.
:'''Oscar''': I'll tell you what happen. ''[Cut to the outside of the Whale Wash, as Oscar tells lies to the fish about killing the shark]''
:'''Oscar''': Big old shark comes at me. 75, 100 feet long, with razor-sharp teeth. 
:'''Angie''': Ooh razors.
:'''Oscar''': I say to him, &quot;You coming at me like that? You come at the O like that?&quot;
:'''Angie''': Hey, do the muscle thing! The muscle thing!
:'''Oscar''': Oh, right. So I say, &quot;You see this guy?&quot; ''[points at right bicep]'' &quot;Well, he has a brother who lives right over here.&quot; ''[points at left bicep]'' &quot;And I think it's time for a little...&quot;
:'''Oscar and Angie''': Family reunion! ''[Everyone cheers]''
:'''Bernie''': You see, mon. I told you.
:'''Ernie''': We were right there. Right here.
:'''Katie Current''': Pardon me. Move it!
:'''Bernie''': Oh. Sorry. Sorry. She seems so nice on TV.
:'''Katie Current''': Oscar, Katie Current. As the first fish in history to ever take on a shark and win, tell me: Does this mean you're now protector of the reef, new sheriff in town?
:'''Oscar''': Katie, I'm gonna keep it real. I can call you Katie, right?
:'''Katie Current''': Of course.
:'''Oscar''': Any shark try to mess around in Oscar's town is going down! ''[crowd cheering]''
:'''Oscar''': Yeah, it's poetic. In the heat I get poetic.
:'''Lola''': Oscar. Hmm. Oscar.
:'''Sykes''': ''[shooting the press away]'' Get out of here, you barracudas. Any further questions will be fielded by me.
:'''Katie Current''': And you are?
:'''Sykes''': I'm his manager. Sykes, with a &quot;y&quot;.
:'''Crazy Joe''': And I'm his financial advisor. ''[everyone turns confused to Joe]'' You want to see my puppets? ''[raspy voice]'' Hello.
:'''Oscar''': Could you excuse us for a moment, please? ''[to Sykes in a hushed tone]'' My manager?
:'''Sykes''': Kid, you're a superstar. We're gonna make a fortune! Just let me handle it.
:'''Oscar''': What about the 5 Gs?
:'''Sykes''': Forget the 5 Gs. From now on, we're partners.
:'''Oscar''': So what are we talking about here?
:'''Sykes''': I'm thinking 90-10 split.
:'''Oscar''': That's generous.
:'''Sykes''': You're the I'm 10 I take my 90 off the top.
:'''Oscar''': I don't think so.
:'''Sykes''': Talk to me.
:'''Oscar''': You get 15.
:'''Sykes''': 70.
:'''Oscar''': 20.
:'''Sykes''': 75.
:'''Oscar''': Dude, you're going the wrong way.
:'''Oscar and Sykes''': 50/50.
:'''Sykes''': You happy?
:'''Oscar''': No. You happy?
:'''Sykes''': No.
:'''Oscar and Sykes''': Deal. ''[They dap one another up successfully]''
:'''Oscar''': My manager and I are now prepared to take your questions.
:'''Katie Current''': Oscar, are you going to continue working here at the Wash?
:'''Oscar''': Please, I barely work here now. ''[everyone laughs]''
:'''Sykes''': Keep it up, kid. You're slaying 'em.
:'''Katie Current''': No. He's slaying sharks.
:'''Sykes''': Hey, that's good. That's good, I like that. Oscar the Sharkslayer.
:'''Shorties''': Whoa! A sharkslayer.
:'''Katie Current''': You heard it here first. From now on, any shark tries to bother this reef, it's his funeral.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Meanwhile the Sharks mourn the loss of Frankie.]''
:'''Shark''': Nomine Patri, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.
:'''Don Feinberg''': ''[singing]'' [[Bette Midler|I could fly higher than an eagle... If you are the wind beneath my wings]] ''[coughs]'' Frankie, we'll miss you.
:'''All''': To Frankie.
:'''Giuseppe''': It's a terrible thing, Don Lino. Everybody loved Frankie. May whoever did this die a thousand deaths. May his stinking, maggot-covered corpse rot in the fiery depths of hell!
:'''Don Lino''': Thank you for your kind thoughts, Giuseppe.
:'''Giuseppe''': Oh, and may Lenny be found safe and sound too. Hope he's okay.
:'''Don Lino''': Oh, Lenny...
:'''Luca''': Don't worry, Boss.
:'''Don Lino''': I said some things to him... We gotta find him.
:'''Luca''': We're searching everywhere. Forget about it, he'll turn up.
:'''Don Lino''': What's wrong with that kid? Why's he gotta be so different? Frankie, God rest his soul, he was perfect. Perfect. ''[Lenny, who has been eavesdropping outside of the window leaves with a muffled sobs]'' Oh... Luca. Who could have done this?
:'''Don Feinberg''': Don Lino, at this most difficult time, please accept my deepest condolences.
:'''Don Lino''': Thank you, Don Feinberg, for honoring my son with your song.
:'''Don Feinberg''': I got some news, about the guy who took out Frankie. ''[he passes gas and the bubble knocks out an orca standing behind him]''
:'''Don Lino''': Let's... Yeah, let's talk over here. ''[They swim to the window]''
:'''Don Feinberg''': He come out of nowhere, this guy. Calls himself... ''[turns around with a flourish]'' The Sharkslayer!
:'''Don Lino''': ''[behind him tapping his shoulder]'' Ira, over here...
:'''Don Feinberg''': ''[turns to face Lino, makes the flourish again]'' Sorry. The Sharkslayer!
:'''Don Lino''': Where do I find him?
:'''Don Feinberg''': He lives on the South Side. That's all we could dig up. ''[to the other sharks]'' Any other requests?
:'''Don Lino''': Hey, Luca.
:'''Don Feinberg''': ''[offscreen]'' How about that Titanic song?
:'''Other Sharks''': ''[offscreen; groaning]'' Oh, please no! Not again!
:'''Don Lino''': ''[to Luca; getting more and more vengeful as he speaks]'' Get Sykes. He knows that Reef better than anybody. I want to know all about this guy. I want to know what he does. I want to know where he eats. I want to know where he sleeps. He pops a gill, I want to know about it. '''''Who is the Sharkslayer?'''''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Male Fish''': Here he is. The Sharkslayer. ''[Mary J. Blige: &quot;Got to Be Real&quot;]''
:''[As the music played, Oscar becomes famous and had his picture on banners, screens and magazines. He even had his own apartment in the penthouse.]''
:'''Oscar''': Let's get this party started right!
:''[The scene changes into a dance party]''
:'''Sykes''': There he is, the big O.
:'''Oscar''': Sykes.
:'''Sykes''': Pound that dog. Pound it. ''[dancing awkwardly]'' Oscar, raise the reef. Raise the reef, buddy.
:'''Oscar''': ''[uncomfy]'' Uh, yeah...
:'''Sykes''': Oh, yeah. Hot.
:'''Oscar''': ''[distracted]'' Yeah, that's pretty...
:'''Sykes''': Come on, cabbage patch. Cabbage patch.
:'''Oscar''': ''[noticing Angie]'' Angie, you made it.
:'''Angie''': Wait, you're gonna break my gift.
:'''Oscar''': Come on. You didn't have to get me anything. What'd you get me?
:'''Angie''': What does every bachelor pad need?
:'''Oscar''': A lava lamp? How did you know I love lava lamps? You know what, I'm gonna put it right here next to my other one. ''[the other lava lamp in question is massive and green]'' Hey, come on, Ang. I wanna show you the best thing about this place. ''[staring out at the rest of the reef]'' How great is this view?
:'''Angie''': Top of the reef. It's amazing.
:'''Oscar''': I know. It's beautiful, right?
:'''Angie''': Like you...r new apartment. It's... Wow. Awesome. What I'm trying to say is that I'm proud of you.
:'''Oscar''': Yeah. It was nothing, really, you know. Hey... Hey, oh, you know what, wait right here. Don't move. I'll be right back. Girl, you are gonna flip.
:''[He swims off and returns.]''
:'''Oscar''': I'm back.
:'''Angie''': You're back.
:'''Oscar''': You know, Ang...Where I am now, this whole new life I got, and all my dreams coming true... In a weird kinda way, I never could have done it without you.
:'''Angie''': Oh, sure you could. Well, probably not. ''[chuckles]''
:'''Oscar''': Ang. Here. ''[he pulls out a box]''
:'''Angie''': Oh! Oscar!
:'''Oscar''': I know. I know. I'm just sorry that it took so long.
:'''Angie''': That's okay.
:'''Oscar''': ''[he opens it to show a pearl]'' Bam! Huh?
:'''Angie''': My grandmother's pearl.
:'''Oscar''': ''[he reveals it as a pearl necklace]'' With interest! Now, I don't forget anything, and I never forget who my friends are. Ang, I...
:'''Lola''': Oh, hi. I'm not interrupting something, am I?
:'''Angie''': Yes, we're talking.
:'''Oscar''': No. Hey, Lola. Wow. You're here. You, er, you gotta come best my meet friend, Angie. Uh, uh, eat my best men, Wangie...?
:'''Lola''': Your best friend? Oh, that's sweet. So you won't mind if I steal him for a while, will you? ''[they enter the penthouse again]'' So, look who's a somebody after all.
:'''Oscar''': Well, you know...
:'''Random Fish''': ''[enters the penthouse while panicking] '''SHARKS! THE SHARKS! ON THE- ON THE EDGE OF THE REEF! THEY'RE GREAT WHITES!''' [Everyone panics]''
:'''Oscar''': EVERYONE, GO HOME! SPEND THE LAST FEW HOURS Y'ALL HAVE WITH EACH OTHER! ''[everyone stops screaming and looks at him with a belief pauses out]'' Oh...! I mean...that's how it used to be around here...but not since Oscar came to town!
:''[Everyone cheering]''
:'''Oscar''': So, Lola, baby, just wait here and I'm gonna be right back. I'm gonna go take care of these sharks.
:'''Sykes''': Go get 'em, tiger.
:'''Oscar''':  Woo! Biceps, triceps.
:'''Male Fish #1''': All right, Oscar.
:'''Male Fish #2''': Go get 'em, Oscar.
:''[Oscar going to the elevator, growls, elevator closing the door, he cries. meanwhile, two shark searching Lenny is missing.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Shark #1:''' Lenny! Where the heck is he? LENNY!
:'''Shark #2:''' ''[he slaps Shark #1]'' Hey. What are you doing? There's a sharkslayer out here. You wanna be next?
:'''Shark #1:''' Oh, yeah. ''[whispers]'' Lenny?
:'''Shark #2''' ''[sighs]''
:'''Shark #1''': ''[whispers]'' Lenny!?
:''[Oscar's hiding from two sharks sent to find Lenny in some kelp]''
:'''Oscar''': ''[to himself]'' Phew, that was close.
:'''Lenny''': ''[appears behind him]'' Super close. ''[in fear, Oscar looks up to see him above]'' Don't panic. ''[Oscar looks down, and is about to screams but his mouth is covered]'' Quiet, a-bup-bup! We're safe.
:'''Oscar:''': Oh, not you again!
:'''Lenny''': Yeah. ''[suddenly]'' AHH WHAT WAS THAT?!
:'''Oscar''': Oh, what is with you, man?!
:'''Lenny''': Shh! He could be anywhere!
:'''Oscar''': ''[gasps]'' Who?
:'''Lenny:''' The Sharkslayer...
:'''Oscar''': ''[laughs]'' There's no Sharkslayer around here.
:'''Lenny''': Tchee-he-ha-ha. Yes, there is!
:'''Oscar''': ''[mockingly]'' Tchee-he-ha-ha. No, there is not! Trust me on this one.
:'''Lenny''': ''[sporadicly]'' Get a hold of yourself, man! This is no time to act crazy!
:'''Oscar''': Hey, you're the one acting crazy, crazy!
:'''Lenny''': ''[sighs; slaps himself]'' You're right. I'm sorry. I haven't been myself since the... the, uh... Don't cry. ''[cries in anguish]''
:'''Oscar''': No, no, it's not all that. Just relax.
:'''Lenny''': ''[sorrowfully]'' It's my fault...! Kinda... not really... but still. My brother...!
:'''Oscar''': You just need a little time, man. Look, the...things'll work out.
:'''Lenny''': You think?
:'''Oscar''': Yeah. So, look, I'm gonna take off...And you should just go home, Okay?
:'''Lenny''': Okay.
:'''Oscar''': Hey, good luck, dawg.
:'''Lenny''': ''[grabs him]'' Wait!
:'''Oscar''': What, man?
:'''Lenny''': Uh, I didn't catch your name.
:'''Oscar''': Gngh, Oscar!
:'''Lenny''': I'm Lenny, hi!
:'''Oscar''': Hi.
:'''Lenny''': Where... where do you live?
:'''Oscar''': ''[trying to get out of his grip]'' Lenny, where I'm from, fish don't like getting grabbed by sharks, okay?
:'''Lenny''': I'm sorry.
:'''Oscar''': Now, go home!
:'''Lenny''': There is no home for me anymore, don't you understand that?!
:'''Oscar''': ''[breaking out]'' You're too big to be grabbing on me like that!
:'''Lenny''': Take me home with you!
:'''Oscar''': Shh!
:'''Lenny''': You won't even notice I'm there, I'm like the invisible shark! ''[he covers his eyes then uncovers them as Oscar looks at him increduosly]''
:'''Oscar''': ''[silently but angrily-ish] ARE YOU '''CRAZY?!'''''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lenny''': ''[sobs]'' Please. I'm begging you. Don't leave me alone.
:'''Shorty #1''': Yo! Put your fins on the wall where I can see 'em.
:''[Oscar looked over to see the shorties.]''
:'''Shorty #1''': Gotcha.
:'''Oscar''':  Hey. Yo, The Shorties.
:'''Shorties''': Oscar.
:'''Oscar''': What y'all doing here?
:'''Shorty #1''': Check out my mad burner.
:'''Shorties''': Whoop, there it is.
:'''Shorty #1''': How ya like that?
:'''Oscar''': Hey, y'all kids got some skills.
:'''Shorty #1''': It's wild style, dude.
:'''Oscar''': What did I tell you? You kids shouldn't be doing this. And besides, it's not safe to be out here at night.
:'''Shorty #1''': It is now, bro-bro. You the Sharkslayer.
:'''Shorty #2''': Yeah, bro-bro.
:'''Lenny''': Sharkslayer?
:'''Shorty #2''': What was that?
:'''Oscar''': ''[coughs loudly]'' Sometimes I be coughing for nothing. I need you off these streets, seriously. Get your butts home. I'll tell your moms y'all doing bad stuff.
:'''Shorty #1''': Let's go make Mr. Sykes puff up.
:'''Shorties''': Yeah. Bye, Oscar.
:'''Shorty #2''': See ya later, dude.
:'''Oscar''': Lenny. Did you see what just happened there?
:'''Lenny''': I know. ''[laughing]'' They think you're the Sharkslayer. As if! ''[cackles]''
:'''Oscar''': I don't appreciate your funky tone, actually.
:'''Lenny''': No, wait up. Hey. I'm sorry, seriously. I don't want you mad at me, and I certainly don't want you to :''[sniggers]'' slay me.
:'''Oscar''': You're having a good time? You're enjoying yourself? ''[Lenny laughs uproariously]'' Well, for your information, I am the Sharkslayer; ''Oscar the Sharkslayerer!'', that's what people say.
:'''Lenny''': ''[coming to a realization]'' Wait. You mean you...?
:'''Oscar''': Uh-huh.
:'''Lenny''': When the anchor... ''[gasps dramatically before smirking]'' Oh, you're a liar!
:'''Oscar''': What? ''[scoffs]'' Please, I didn't lie! ''[Lenny gives him an &quot;Oh, really?&quot; glare]'' All right, I lied. But it was a little lie! Come on, who's it gonna hurt anyway? Man, I'm not explaining myself to you. You're on your own.
:'''Lenny''': No problem. And if, God forbid, someone should, I don't know, find out the truth about the Sharkslayer on my way back...
:'''Oscar''': You wouldn't.
:'''Lenny''': I would.
:'''Oscar''': Come here. Of course you can come with me. But, you know, you're a shark, right? And I'm a Sharkslayer, so we can't be seen together. You dig, dog?
:'''Lenny''': Dig. Dog. Dog dig. Dig dog. Yeah, yo diggy dog.
:'''Oscar''': Just come on.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Both Oscar and Lenny are sneaking through Southside drain unseen]''
:'''Oscar''': ''[whispers]'' OK, Lenny. follow my every move, and don't make a sound.
:'''Lenny''': ''[whispers]'' You got it. ''[echoes]'' Oh an echo. ''[a little louder]'' Echooo! Now batting for the Southside Sharks #15- ''[Oscar slaps him]'' Ow! It's not okay to hit!
:''[# Justin Timberlake &amp; Timbaland: Good Foot]''
:''[They get out of the manhole cover and hide once the police dolphin passed. Lenny was told to stay here as Oscar stealthy swims to the Whale Wash warehouse. Oscar tells him to stay quiet once he comes out.]''
:'''Oscar''': Get your tail in there.
:'''Lenny''':  Do you think anybody heard that?
:'''Crazy Joe''': Who was that? Who? Hey. Who's out there?
:'''Oscar''': Yo. Crazy Joe.
:'''Crazy Joe''': I thought I heard something. Did you get that shark?
:'''Oscar''': You have no idea, Joe.
:'''Crazy Joe''': That's great. Well, gotta go. My show's on.
:''[# Theme From The Benny Hill Show]''
:''[Crazy Joe laughs]''
:'''Oscar''': All right. We're safe. For now.
:'''Lenny''': Hey, a bed. Oh, yeah, that's good. That's heaven, yeah. Snuggly, buggly, wuggly. I love you, man.
:'''Oscar''':  Whoa. Hold up.
:'''Lenny''':  You're my new best friend.
:'''Oscar''': Stop it. OK, you wanna be friends? Fine. But we gotta lay down some rules. Rule number one: No snuggly, buggly... Whatever that just was.
:'''Lenny''': You got it. Anything else?
:'''Oscar''': Rule number two, and this is the most important rule. In the event that possibly you get hungry...
:'''Lenny''': Don't worry, I won't eat anyone. If you haven't noticed, I'm different from other sharks. Let's put it that way, leave it at that. Good night.
:'''Oscar''': Define &quot;different&quot;.
:'''Lenny''': You'll laugh.
:'''Oscar''': I'm not gonna laugh.
:'''Lenny''': That's what you say, and then what happens later? You laugh.
:'''Oscar''': Lenny, I give you my word.
:'''Lenny''': Okay, I will tell you. I'm... I'm a vegetarian.
:'''Oscar''': ''[stifles laugh]'' Hold up. So that's it?
:'''Lenny''': What do you mean, that's it? You're the first fish I ever told. I'm tired of keeping it a secret. And my dad, he'll never accept me for who I am. What's wrong with me?
:'''Oscar''': Nothing is wrong with you, man. I think all sharks should be like you.
:'''Lenny''': God, that's sweet of you to say.
:'''Oscar''': And stop blaming yourself for what happened.
:'''Lenny''': Really?
:'''Oscar''': If you wanna blame anybody, blame me. If I hadn't been there in the first place, none of this would've happened.
:'''Lenny''': Gee, if Pop knew that, he'd ice you for sure.
:'''Oscar''': ''[chuckles]'' &quot;Ice...&quot; What's he, the Godfather or something?
:'''Lenny''': Yeah.
:'''Oscar''': ''[still chuckles]'' What do you mean &quot;Yeah&quot;?
:'''Lenny''': Yeah, he is. ''[Oscar realizes this and gulps in fear as the background spins behind him]'' Hey. Are you alright? ''[Then the background drops backwards to the ground, and the shark from Oscar's right gobbles him up. We pull back as it was revealed to be the video games that Ernie and Bernie are playing video games]''
:'''Bernie''': Oh, man. I told you.
:'''Ernie''': I'm doing it.
:'''Bernie''': [[w:PlayStation 2|X, circle, X, X, double left, square, right trigger down-down, square-square.]]
:'''Ernie''': Oh, double square! Respect.
:'''Bernie''': Respect.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Sykes is talking to Lino over the phone]''
:'''Oscar''': Sykes.
:'''Bernie''': Hey, Oscar.
:'''Oscar''': Oh! Hey, Sykes.
:'''Sykes''': ''[to Oscar]'' Hey, hey, hey. There he is, my brother, my player, the Sharkslayer!
:'''Oscar''': Yeah, whatever, Sykes, listen...
:'''Sykes''': ''[to Lino over the phone]'' And another thing: from now on, you're gonna have to start paying ME protection!
:'''Oscar''': Sykes, the deal is off. That shark I killed was Don Lino's son.
:'''Sykes''': I know! Ain't it great?
:'''Oscar''': Not if he finds out!
:'''Sykes''': What do you mean, &quot;find out&quot;? I've got him on the phone right now! ''[Oscar's eyes widen in fear]'' That's right, Lino. I've got the Sharkslayer right here in front of me.
:'''Oscar''': ''[throat gesture while shaking his head]'' Mm-mm! Mm-mm!
:'''Sykes''': ''[over the phone]'' And he's gonna slay you, and all your sharks.
:'''Oscar''': Sykes, shut up! '''''SHUT... UP!'''''
:'''Sykes''': Hey, hey, that's good. That's good, I like that! Shut up, Lino! Ha! SHUT UP! ''[Oscar groans]'' What? Oh, kid, he wants to talk to you.
:'''Oscar''': ''[whispers]'' No. I'm not here. I'm not here!
:'''Sykes''': Yeah, he's right here. ''[hands Oscar the phone]''
:'''Oscar''': ''[quiet high-pitched voice]'' Hello?
:'''Don Lino''': ''[furious]'' &quot;Shut up&quot;? &quot;''Shut up''&quot;?! You don't tell ''ME'' &quot;shut up&quot;, I tell ''YOU'' &quot;shut up&quot;! ''[As he talks, beeping is heard on the other side of the phone]'' What? Hello?
:'''Luca''': Yeah, how ya doing? Lemme have a pie with everything on it. Anchovies, meatballs, mushrooms-
:'''Don Lino''': ''[startled and annoyed]'' Luca?
:'''Luca''': Oh, hi, Boss. What are you doing working at a pizza joint?
:'''Don Lino''': ''[enraged] '''GET OFF THE PHONE!!!'''''
:'''Luca''': But I'm hungry! ''[reluctantly hangs up]''
:'''Don Lino''': ''[shakes his head in frustration, then returns his attention to Oscar]'' My guys are coming for you, Sharkslayer! They're gonna tear you '''''FIN FROM FIN!''' [slams the phone down in a rage, leaves Oscar frozen with horror]''
:'''Sykes''': ''[still oblivious to Oscar]'' Come on, now who's your puff daddy, huh? Who takes care of you, huh? Huh? ''[turns to Ernie and Bernie play the Sharkslayer video game]'' Come on, you two. We've got work to do. ''[turns off the TV]''
:'''Ernie''': Aww! Mon, I was winning!
:'''Oscar''': ''[unsuccessfully tries to get Sykes' attention as the latter makes his way to the elevator]'' Sykes, Sykes, hold - Look, you've got it all wrong!
:'''Sykes''': They're gonna write songs about you, kid. ''[sings] Oh, the shark bites...''
:'''Oscar''': Sykes!
:'''Sykes''': ''With his teeth, dear.''
:'''Oscar''': Sykes, please!
:'''Sykes''': ''And then Oscar...''
:'''Oscar''': Sykes!
:'''Sykes''': ''Kicked his butt.'' ''[The elevator closes in Oscar's face]''
:'''Oscar''': Sykes! Sykes, man! ''[attempts to open the elevator]'' Come on!
:'''Lola''': Maybe I can help.  
:'''Oscar''': Ooh. Hey, Lola, what are you doing here? Just.. you're popping out sometimes places.
:'''Lola''': Well, you said to wait, so... I've been waiting. ''[Music plays &quot;Can't Wait&quot; by Avant]''
:'''Oscar''': Look, I don't have a lot of time for the hand-clappy making-the-lights-go-off music-playing-in-the-dark thing.
:'''Lola''': What are you afraid of?
:'''Oscar''': Afraid... ''[laughs]'' Yeah, that's funny. I ain't afraid of nothing, it's just... Ooh.
:'''Lola''': Oh, baby, you are so tense.
:'''Oscar''': Yeah, I've been stressed lately, you know, protecting the reef. I do that by myself, you know.  It's just crazy.
:'''Lola''': It's too much, it's piling up...
:'''Oscar''': Yeah, you know, one thing on top of the other. Actually, I was thinking about retiring.
:'''Lola''': You don't want to do that.
:'''Oscar''': I don't?
:'''Lola''': You have worked your way to the top. You don't want to go back to the bottom, do you?
:'''Oscar''': No. No way.
:'''Lola''': You just show 'em who's boss and those sharks will leave you alone.
:'''Oscar''': Yeah, you're right. Lenny.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Oscar''': ''[quietly, opens the door, looking around.]'' Psst! Lenny? Where are you? ''[Oscar sneaks back to the storage room]''
:'''Angie''': ''[suddenly appears at the storage room door]'' Hello, Oscar.
:'''Oscar''': ''[screams; then catches his breath]'' Angie! Hey! W-what are you doing here?
:'''Angie''': ''[innocently]'' What, Oscar, forget something?
:'''Oscar''': W-W-Well, I-I-I—
:'''Angie''': Maybe your forgot... ''[slams the door, revealing Lenny behind it]'' ...your shark?!
:'''Lenny''': ''[sipping the soda]'' Hi.
:'''Oscar''': Uh...SHARK! SWIM, ANGIE! I'LL COVER YA! GO ON WITHOUT ME!
:'''Angie''': Oh, stop it! Your pet shark told me everything!
:'''Oscar''': ''[shocked]'' Dang, Lenny?! Why?!
:'''Lenny''': Don't look at me, I don't know! I like her!
:'''Angie''': ''[friendly]'' Thanks you too. ''[then furiously to Oscar]'' WHAT were you THINKING, bringing him here?!
:'''Oscar''': Well...I'm still working out the kinks...
:'''Angie''': Kinks?! You LIED! Everybody thinks you &quot;slayed the shark!&quot; How could you lied to me, Oscar?! ME?!
:'''Oscar''': Don't take it personal, Angie! Come on, I lied to EVERYBODY! ''[Angie glares at him]'' All right, I totally betrayed you, but before we work this out, I got a small thing to take care of.
:'''Angie''': Oh, yeah? What's that?
:'''Oscar''': ''SHARKS'' are COMING to GET ME!!
:'''Angie''': And they ''should''! What did you expect? You just take credit for killing a shark and then everything would be fine and dandy for the rest of your life?!
:'''Oscar''': Uh...yeah. But don't worry. Me and Lenny, we're gonna take care of this...
:'''Lenny''': Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's with the &quot;we&quot;? I don't want any part of this!
:'''Oscar''': Hey, too late now, veggie boy. They'll be looking for you, too!
:'''Lenny''': Point taken. What's the plan?
:'''Angie''': OSCAR! Here's the plan. ''You'' tell the truth. ''[to Lenny]'' And ''you'', go home. ''[Oscar and Lenny both stare at each other and then they both laugh]''
:'''Oscar''': All right, look, this is what we're gonna do. We're gonna paint you up all bloody. A mess, right? Then you gonna swim out and meet the sharks before they get here. And you're gonna say, &quot;Stop. Don't y'all. Don't go no farther! That Sharkslayer's crazy, man!&quot; &quot;He beat me senseless. He's a stone-cold killer, man!&quot; Then you could tell 'em I'm huge. Tell 'em I'm handsome.  Throw that in, say I'm buff.
:'''Angie''': You are going way too far.
:'''Lenny''': Actually, he hasn't gone far enough.
:'''Oscar''': Exactly. What?
:'''Lenny''': You need to slay a shark, and I need to disappear. Here's what we're gonna do...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[on the city, the camera static, starts recording on live with Katie Current]''
:'''Katie Current:''' Katie Current, reporting live. We've had unconfirmed reports of a...
:''[fish screams, camera knocks out]''
:'''Fish''': Shark! ''[Lenny hums Theme From Jaws]''
:'''Oscar''': # Da-da-da
:'''Katie''': Look. It's the Sharkslayer!
:''[Oscar with cape, but the music stops, he removing the cape and laughs, the music plays, and starts to fight at Lenny, he punches, Lenny falls on the billboard.]''
:'''Katie''': Holy mackerel. Did we get that?
:'''Pontrelli''': Hey, Ang. Oscar's on the TV.
:'''Oscar''': Show me that. Go ahead with your bad self.
:''[Oscar is pretends to battle Lenny in front of the fish city]''
:'''Oscar''': Do you hear them, Lenny?! They are going crazy, man! They love us!
:'''Lenny''': They love ''you''. They hate ''me''!
:'''Oscar''': ''[shocked]'' What?!
:'''Lenny''': Can we switch sides? Maybe I can be the Fishslayer! They'll never see it coming!
:'''Oscar''': Come on, man! Look. You sell this, you'll never have to go home again! You could start a new life! ''[Lenny nods his head understandingly]'' Now gimme a growl!
:'''Lenny''': Okay. ''[purrs; he then clears his throat and roars loudly in Oscar's face]'' Like that?
:'''Oscar''': That was... pretty good! Let's ho.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[At the Whale Wash]''
:'''Sykes''': ''[on the phone, while watches Oscar slay Lenny on TV]'' I don't think you understand how huge my client is. Turn on your TV right now! ''[Random; Lenny accidentally eats Oscar; at the Whale Wash]''
:'''Sykes''': ''[still on the phone]'' Turn off the TV, turn off the TV! ''[Back to Lenny]''
:'''Oscar''': ''[from inside Lenny's mouth]'' Don't... swallow.
:'''Lenny''': Oscar?
:'''Oscar''': No, it's [[Pinocchio (1940 film)|Pinocchio]]. Of course it's me! Why did you do that?!
:'''Lenny''': I'm sorry...
:'''Oscar''': No, &quot;sorry&quot; is when you step on somebody's fin at the theater! Yeah, that's &quot;sorry&quot;! &quot;Sorry&quot; is when you say &quot;Hey, when's the baby due?&quot; and it turns out the person's just FAT! No, this is as ''far away from &quot;sorry&quot;'' as you can ''possibly'' get!
:'''Lenny''': Oscar, I think I'm gonna puke...
:'''Oscar''': Oh, no, no, no, no...Lenny, just open up, nice and easy. ''[Lenny opens his mouth very slowly as he pretends to free himself in front of the crowd]'' [[w:Gladiator (film)|ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!]] ''[the crowd cheers]'' [[w:A Few Good Men (film)|YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!]] ''[the crowd cheers again]'' [[w:Jerry Maguire|YOU HAD ME AT HELLO!]] ''[The crowd cheers again; at the Whale Wash]''
:''[# Elvis Vs JXL: A Little Less Conversation]''
:'''Sykes''': ''[still on the phone]'' Turn on your TV! What are you doing turning off your TV?! Turn it back on!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Luca''': This reef is huge. How we supposed to find the Sharkslayer? ''[the sharks hearing Lenny screams.]''
:''[Oscar seeing Luca with the Sharks, he grabbing the Lenny's tail]''
:'''Oscar''': This is it, Lenny. Big finish. Just like we practiced.
:'''Lenny''':  The flying fish?
:'''Oscar''':  The flying fish.
:'''Oscar''': ''[he grabbing in heavily at Lenny]'' A little help here, buddy boy.
:'''Lenny''':  Sorry.
:'''Oscar''':  Thank you. ''[Lenny standing up, but Oscar starts spinning around, and throws at the TV screen on the building, screams in slow motion, falling down.]''
:'''Lenny''': '''''CURSE YOU, SHARKSLAYEEEERER!!!''' [Lenny falls in the mist, screams then banging the pipe door and Lenny snorts, makes crashing sound]''
:'''Oscar''': '''NO!''' Yeah. And you tells Don LAME-O's it be dangerous that I don't never, ever, ever, ever, OR NEVER *'''AGAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNN'''* AND I DO YOU WANT TO SEE ANOTHER SHARKS IN THIS REEF AGAIN!!! EVERS! ''[they swim away in fears]'' Remember this name: OSCAR THE SHARKSLAYER! ''[The crowd cheers]''
:'''Sykes''': You see? You see? ''[crowd chants, Lenny swims through the pipe.]'' Oscar! Oscar!
:'''Katie Current''': Yay!
:'''Crowd''': # Oscar, boom bye-ay # Oscar, boom bye-ay
:'''Oscar''': Look at Oscar. # Oscar, boom bye-ay #Oscar, boom bye-ay Woo! Hey... Lola. ''[Lola kissing Oscar.]''
:'''Katie Current''': Seems The Sharkslayer not only conquered a few sharks today, but maybe a few hearts? Has the reef's most eligible bachelor been snapped up? I'm Katie Current, here live, watching the Sharkslayer makin' out.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[back in the Whale wash warehouse, Angie reading the newspaper, the word saying: &quot;Who stole our hero's Heart?&quot;]''
:'''Lenny''': Hey, Angie, can you hand me the blue 1? Thank you.
:'''Oscar''': ''[opens the door]'' Look who stepped in the room! ''[laughs]''
:'''Lenny''': ''[laughs]'' Yeah!
:'''Oscar''': Oscar and Lenny. What a team, baby. Give me that, give me some fin.
:'''Lenny''': High fin. Low fin.
:'''Oscar''': Yo, did you see me? I was like... ''[makes kung fu noises]'' I was crazy.
:'''Lenny''': When you punched me, and the crowd was...
:'''Oscar''': Yeah, they ate it up. You didn't know I had it in me, did you? It was like an Oscar-splosion.
:'''Lenny''': How good was I?
:'''Oscar''': You was the bomb.
:'''Lenny''': Thank you. Thank you. And hey, hey, hey, Casanova. I saw your big finish on the news. Nice smooch, lover boy.
:'''Oscar''': lxnay on the isskay, man. That's private. ''[After Angie sees Oscar kissing Lola]''
:'''Angie''': PRIVATE?! The entire reef saw you do it!
:'''Oscar''': Hey, whoa. Somebody's in a bad mood. Come on, Ang, lemme see that smile. Show me the smile, baby—
:'''Angie''': Knock it off!?
:'''Oscar''': Eh...What has gotten into you?
:'''Angie''': ME?! Oh, I swear, sometimes I wanna take your big, dumb, dummy head and just... ''[punches her hand]'' Nnnyyyahh!!!
:'''Oscar''': Ang, Ang, what is the problem?  
:'''Angie''': Problem?! There's no problem! I don't have any problem! Miss Perfect is the one with the problem!
:'''Lenny''': Um, hey, you guys.
:'''Oscar''': What you got against Lola?
:'''Angie''': Not my lips. That's for sure. 
:'''Oscar''': Okay. What's going on?
:'''Lenny''': I'm gonna stay out of this one. 
:'''Oscar''': Look, why would you even care about Lola anyway?
:'''Angie''': I don't!
:'''Oscar''': You don't?
:'''Angie''': No!
:'''Oscar''': No what?!
:'''Angie''': I don't know!
:'''Lenny''': Hey guys, you wanna get...
:'''Oscar and Angie''': *'''NOOOOO!!!'''*
:'''Angie''': Just tell me, Oscar, 'cause I'm curious - why do you think she's interested, huh? Do you think for one minute that she would even be with you if you weren't the rich and famous Sharkslayer?
:'''Lenny''': Oh, you guys, please don't fight.
:'''Angie''': Are you that blind?!
:'''Oscar''': At least she treats me like I'm somebody!
:'''Angie''': Yeah, but would she love you if you were nobody?!
:'''Oscar''': ''[angrily]'' '''[[The Nightmare Before Christmas|NOBODY LOVED ME WHEN I WAS NOBODY!!!]]'''
:'''Angie''': ''[emotional]'' '''I DID!''' ''[Oscar is stunned; sadly swims her back on him]'' Before the money... and before the fame. ''[turns back to Oscar]'' Before the lie. To me, you ''were'' somebody, Oscar. Now you're nothing but a fake. A sham. A con. You're a joke. ''[Oscar felt hurt at Angie's words, Angie looked down]''
:'''Lenny''': Here I come... ''[pops out from behind the curtains]'' Tah-dah! ''[singsong]'' Sebastian the Whale-Washing Dolphin! ''[mimics dolphin clicks, but looks at them when calming down]''
:'''Oscar''': Angie...
:'''Angie''': No, forget it! Just go! 'Cause I'm tired of hearing how everything you had in your life wasn't good enough. Including me. ''[Oscar then sadly swims away]''
:'''Lenny''': Angie?
:'''Angie''': Oh, honey, I'm...I'm sorry. Go...Go back and do it again.
:'''Lenny''': Hey, come on. ''[wipes her tears away]'' It'll be okay.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Music plays &quot;Get it Together&quot; by India Arie. Oscar leaves in whale wash warehouse, heartbreaks, swimming in the city, looking at the TV screen as Oscar holding at Lenny's mouth.]''
:'''Oscar''': You can't handle the truth. You've got Shark Breath. ''[Oscar on TV screen eating the mint, word saying with ding sounds: &quot; 'O' mints, on the next one, drinking the soda bottle, &quot;Coral Cola&quot; choir singing &quot;Get Real&quot;, the fish kids playing the bubbles.]''
:'''Mrs. Sanchez''': What you kids doing? How many times I have to tell you? It's past your bed time. Go on.
:'''Crazy Joe''': ''[Shortie #3 spaying with can at her shell]'' Hey. What are you kids up to? That looks pretty good. You should do this for a living. ''[back in Oscar's Apartment, going outside, Oscar saw the whale.]''
:'''Whale''': Preparation &quot;O&quot;. It slays hemorrhoids like Oscar slays sharks. Hey, Oscar. Preparation O.
:'''Oscar''': Angie was right. I am a joke.
:'''Lola''': Hey, Sharkslayer. Why are you out here? All your friends are inside.
:'''Oscar''': Not all my friends.
:'''Lola''': You mean that little bottom feeder from the Whale Wash? Forget about her. She's a nobody.
:'''Oscar''': No, I'm the nobody.
:'''Lola''': ''[laughs]'' Oh, let me guess. She told you that she loves you. Is that it? ''[laughs]'' It's not like you feel the same way about her. ''[laughs]''
:'''Oscar''': ''[realizing he loves Angie more than Lola]'' You know what, I don't think this is gonna work out.
:'''Lola''': ''[chuckles, but then stops]'' Wait. Are you dumping me? ''[Oscar sadly nods, but gasps as she gives him a livid glare]'' Let me explain something to you. ''[Cut to inside]''
:'''Sykes''': ''[dances with a fish girl]'' We're gonna party like it's your birthday... ''[they suddenly hear a thudding sound and see Lola whacking Oscar against the windows with a thunk]'' Ha! Young love. ''[he and the other partygoers laugh. Lola angrily slams Oscar one more time and sulks away. Oscar slowly slides down, his saliva leaves an impression of a heart implanted on the window. The Four Tops: &quot;I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch)&quot;]''
:'''Lenny''': Hey, Oscar!
:'''Oscar''': Hey, I can't talk. I gotta find Angie. I need to tell her... I love her!
:'''Man''': ''[singing] You come and you go...''
:'''Pontrelli''': Way to go, Oscar.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bernie''': Whale Wash, where you get a whale of a wash and the price...
:'''Ernie''': Gimme the phone. ''[grabs the phone]'' And the price is...very, very low. Considering how good the wash is!
:'''Sykes''': ''[annoyed]'' Look, look, look! For the last time, it's &quot;gosh&quot;. &quot;Whale Wash: You get a whale of a wash, and the price - Oh, my gosh&quot;!
:'''Ernie''': Got it. ''[phone rings]'' Whale Wash...
:'''Bernie''': ''[grabs the phone]'' Rhymes with &quot;gosh&quot;. ''[Bernie and Ernie laugh]''
:'''Sykes''': ''[steamed]'' That's it! Get outta here! Go be useless somewhere else! ''[Bernie and Ernie swim away]''
:'''Oscar''': ''[shows up with Lenny]'' Sykes, where's Angie?
:'''Sykes''': You tell me. Whale Wash, you get a whale of a wash... It's for you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Oscar''': Huh? ''[holding on the phone]''  ''[answering the phone]'' Hello?
:'''Luca''': Is this the Sharkslayer?
:'''Oscar''': Yeah. Who's this?
:'''Luca''': Hi, this is Luca the Octopu... I mean... forget about it. Just listen up and follow these instructions, to the letter like. File cabinet, bottom drawer, there's a package... ''[Oscar opens the package to find the necklace he gave Angie...]'' That's right, tough guy. We got your girl. Now there's gonna be a sit-down.
:'''Lenny''': ''[whispers]'' Who is it?
:'''Oscar''': Shh.
:'''Luca''': Be there if you don't wanna see her sleeping with the fishes... ''[Oscar's confused]'' ...the DEAD ones! ''[Oscar becomes shocked]'' Now nod your head if you understand. ''[Oscar nods his head]'' Now tell me if you nodded your head.
:'''Oscar''': I nodded. ''[they both hang up]'' They got Angie. And they want a sit-down. I never meant for anybody to get hurt, especially not Angie. This is all my fault.
:'''Sykes''': That's a classic move. I've seen it a thousand times. ''[As Oscar noticed Angie's love drawing on the clipboard]''
:'''Lenny''': They take the thing you love the most, and then they use it against you.
:'''Oscar''': ''[after a moment of silence; determined]'' Look, we gotta go to that sit-down, and we gotta save her.
:'''Lenny''': Whoa, whoa, whoa. Look, I wanna save Angie, too. But I can't just waltz in there and say, &quot;Hi, Pop, I'm a dolphin!&quot;
:'''Sykes''': ''[surprised]'' Lenny?
:'''Lenny''': &quot;And my friend, the Sharkslayer here's a fake.&quot;
:'''Sykes''': Fake?
:'''Lenny''': Come on, we're gonna need a better plan than that!
:'''Sykes''': ''[laughs]'' This is a joke, right? This is a joke. Because you know, I told Lino... ''[suddenly flashes back to his phone call with Lino]''
:'''Flashback Sykes''': ''[over phone]'' Oh, shut up, Lino! SHUT UP! ''[Don Lino growls. After flashback, Sykes inflates in a fit of panic]''
:'''Sykes''': ''[in a high-pitched voice]'' Tell me you didn't make it all up, kid! Tell me that's not Lenny! Tell me you're a real Sharkslayer! Please!!!
:'''Oscar''': ''[sadly]'' I'm sorry, Sykes. I'm not. ''[his mood suddenly brightens as he remembers something]'' But the sharks don't know that.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[At the dining table room with all the sharks, Lenny disguised as dolphin and Oscar, gulps in nervous, Sykes breathing in nervous, Oscar clear throat, he trying to get the mug on the plate, hammerhead gasps in shocked, he turns around at the killer whales, he growls with the crawls, but the one orca faints on the floor.]''
:'''Sykes''': Will you stop screwing around? This'll never work. We're dead. We're dead!
:'''Oscar''': Thank you, Sykes. Thank you. My man Sykes just begged me not to murder-lise all y'all up in here, all right. Now, I might listen to him, but then again I might not. And that depends on the individual behavior of all the individuals in here, individually. Ain't that right?
:'''Hammerhead #1''': Look, he's got dolphin muscle.
:'''Hammerhead #2''': My uncle Vito got whacked by one of those.
:'''Oscar''': All right. Now which one of you sardines called this meeting?
:'''Don Lino''': ''[enters]'' That would be me. So, this is the Sharkslayer. I've been looking forward to meeting you. I feel like we're practically family. You know that? Funny, ain't it? I brought my kids into the world, full of love and care, and you took them out. You know who I am? Do you know who I am? I'm the Don. The boss of the Great White Sharks.
:'''Luca''': Hey, Boss, I saved you a seat.
:'''Don Lino''': I've been running this reef since before you was born. And if you thought a guy like me can't get to a guy like you... Guess what? You thought wrong. ''[He lifted up the cover to reveal the gagged Angie.]''
:'''Oscar''': Pfft! Man, you the one who's wrong. I barely even know that girl. What's your name, miss?
:'''Angie''': ''[muffled]'' ''ANGIE!''
:'''Lola''': Oh, yeah? Well, I say he's bluffing.
:'''Shark''': Marone, if I wasn't married.
:'''Don Feinberg''': How ya doing, pretty lady?
:'''Oscar''': Lola. We meet again.
:'''Lola''': You know, Sharkslayer, there's only one thing I like better than money. ''Revenge''.
:'''Shark''': Oh! I'm in love.
:'''Don Lino''': Your sharkslaying days are over. And there ain't nothing you can do about it. ''[Oscar laughs. Lenny and Sykes laugh]''
:'''Don Lino''': Huh? What's so funny?
:'''Luca''': Ow.
:'''Oscar''': You got nothing. Nothing! Sebastian, take her out. ''[As commanded, Lenny swoops down and &quot;eats&quot; Angie. Oscar hums U Can't Touch This]''&lt;br /&gt;[[W:MC Hammer|Can't touch this.&lt;br /&gt;Can't touch this.&lt;br /&gt;Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh]] Stop. Oscar time. ''[After Lenny &quot;eats&quot; Angie]'' Okay, new rules. Nobody, I repeat, nobody, makes a move without my OK. I am the Panama Canal, baby. From now on, everything ''[places a spoon on Giuseppe's nose]'' flows through me.
:'''Giuseppe''': Heh?! What'd he do?! What'd he do?! I can't see it!
:'''Oscar''': You don't lose a tooth, you don't grow one back without my okay, okay?
:'''Mako Shark''': ''[nervously]'' Okay. ''[The swordfish sneezes, stuck to the table]''
:'''Oscar''': If you sneeze, you don't wipe that boogie without my okay, okay?
:'''Orca''': ''[scared]'' Okay.
:'''Oscar''': And you don't ''say'' &quot;okay&quot; without my okay! Okay?! ''[one of the orcas faints, Lenny starts gagging]''
:'''Sykes''': Uh-Oh. Okay, thank you all for coming. We gotta go.
:'''Oscar''': Oh, and one more thing. What is with all y'all living in the Love Boat?
:'''Sykes''': Oscar...
:'''Oscar''': Y'all are supposed to be the mob. Get yourselves a real hideout.
:'''Lenny''': ''[gagging]'' Oscar?
:'''Oscar''': ''[to Lino]'' And take a good look, Lino. It's ''over''. You're old school...!
:'''Sykes and Lenny''': Oscar!
:'''Oscar''': What?! ''[Lenny makes a last gag and retches out Angie, a violin, a sidewalk sweeper, a radio box and a Louisiana's car license plate]''
:'''Lenny''': The horror! '''THE HORROR!''' ''[one of the sharks eats the Louisiana's license plate; retches out a beach ball]''
:'''Oscar''': ''[chuckles]'' Um, excuse me. ''[swims over to Angie]'' Ang, are you okay?
:'''Angie''': No, I am not okay! He ''ate'' me!
:'''Lenny''': I couldn't take it. The taste was killin' me!
:'''Don Lino''': ''[sees Lenny]'' Lenny? Is that you? You're alive? ''[hugs Lenny]'' I thought I lost you. ''[noticed his disguise]'' What are you wearing? Huh? What is that? ''[Dejected, Lenny takes off his black and yellow scarf, then scrubs his nose with his sponge and takes off the red rubber band. The sharks gasps in assortment]''
:'''Luca''': Hey, Boss, it's Lenny, he was wearing a disguise so we couldn’t recognize him, but now he's not wearing a disguise, so we ''do'' recognizing him.
:'''Lenny''': ''[still dejected]'' Hi, Pop...
:'''Don Lino''': ''[upset; Lenny turns blue]'' Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me, are you out of your ''mind''?! Do you have any idea how this looks?!
:'''Giuseppe''': ''[whispers to another shark]'' This is the best sit down I ever been to.
:'''Don Lino''': What are you doing with this guy?! He took out your own flesh and blood, Frankie!
:'''Lenny''': But Pop, just listen...
:'''Don Lino''': But nothing! You never take sides against the family! '''Ever!?'''
:'''Oscar''': Hey, Don Lino, Sir. Listen, it's not his fault. This is between you and me.
:'''Don Lino''': What did I ever do to ''YOU?!'' You took Frankie away, and you turned Lenny into a dolphin! ''[turns furiously]'' '''I'M GONNA GET YOU!''' ''[Oscar shrieks, Don Lino starts chasing him]''
:'''Angie''': Oscar, look out!!!
:'''Lenny''': Oscar, swim! ''[opens the door]'' Swim for your life! ''[Don Lino gets wedged in a porthole while chasing Oscar]''
:'''Don Lino''': ''[calling after Oscar]'' You're gonna regret the day you became the Sharkslayer!
:'''Shrimp''': ''[appears in another porthole]'' Well, well, well...look who's stuck in the porthole.
:'''Don Lino''': Huh?
:'''Shrimp''': You still hungry, big guy? Well, say hello to my little friends! ''[A bunch of shrimps appear and attack Lino]''
:'''Bernie''': Try again.
:'''Ernie''': Hello, Sykes' Whale Wash; And the price... ''[sees Don Lino chasing Oscar; alarmed]'' OH MY GOSH!
:'''Bernie''': All right. ''[not knowing]'' Hey, you got it right! ''[suddenly sees Don Lino also. They swim away in fear]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Oscar''': Everybody out of the way.
:'''Ernie''': Blow out!
:'''Fish''': Shark!
:'''Oscar''': Come on, Lino, it's time to clean up your act.
:'''Lenny''': Pop, leave him alone!
:'''Oscar''': All right, Lino, games over! ''[Oscar activates the wash's emergency protocol, and catches...Lenny instead of Lino]'' Lenny, what are you doing in there?!
:'''Lenny''': Sorry.
:'''Oscar''': Well, where's Lino? ''[Lino appears behind Oscar on cue]'' He's right behind me, isn't he?
:'''Don Lino''': You're mine, now! ''[Oscar screams, starts to chase him]'' Let's finish this, Sharkslayer.
:'''Oscar''': Oh, we're about to.
:''[Oscar swam to the machines with Don Lino chasing him. At the last second, Don Lino is grabbed by the machine and was held in place.]''
:'''Headphone Guy''': Thank you for coming to Whale Wash.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Angie''': OK, somebody needs to get me out of the bubble. Today.
:''[Oscar pops the bubble, dreeing Angie.]''
:'''Oscar''': Angie...
:'''Katie Current''': The Sharkslayer does it again. This time, luring two sharks into his death-trap of hygiene.
:'''Oscar''': Wait no.
:''[Oscar is being surrounded by the crowd cheering.]''
:'''Katie Current''': Oscar, you're the somebody everybody wants to be. The top of the food chain. Tell our cameras how it feels to be you.
:'''Oscar''': Angie.
:'''Lenny''': Oscar, get me outta here, quick. I need a head start to get as far away as possible.
:'''Don Lino''': Look what you did to him.
:'''Oscar''': It's a big misunderstanding. If you just-
:'''Katie Current''': Sharkslayer. Over here! One more question sharkslayer.
:'''Crowd''': ''[chanting]'' Sharkslayer. ''[in slow motion]'' Sharkslayer.
:''[The crowd is cheering for Oscar for trapping Lino and Lenny in the Whale Wash machines]''
:'''Oscar''': ''[finally had it enough]'' '''STOP! ''I AM NOT A REAL SHARKSLAYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRER!!!!''''' ''[the crowd stops cheering and stares in disbelief, and Angie stops to look back]'' I lied.
:'''Don Lino''': ''[shocked]'' What?
:'''Crazy Joe''': ''[tearfully]'' And I'm not a real financial adviser!
:'''Oscar''': ''[awkwardly]'' Okay... ''[to Don Lino]'' It was an anchor that killed Frankie. I didn't have anything to do with it, and neither did Lenny.                 
:'''Don Lino''': ''[to Lenny]'' Well then... If that was true, why did you run away?           
:'''Lenny''': Because you always wanted me to be like Frankie. I'll never be the shark you want me to be.
:'''Oscar''': ''[to Don Lino]'' ''What'' is your ''problem''?! So your son likes kelp, so his best friend is a fish, so he likes to dress like a dolphin! So ''what''?! Everybody loves him, just the way he is. Why can't you? Don't make the same mistake that I did. I didn't know what I had...until I lost it.
:''[Unnoticed by him, Angie looks moved in the background]''               
:'''Don Lino''': ''[close to tears]'' Can you get me outta this, so I can hug my kid, and tell him I'm sorry?
:'''Lenny''': ''[smiles tearfully]'' Pop.
:''[Oscar frees Lino and Lenny from the Whale Wash machines]''
:'''Don Lino''': Come here, you. ''[hugs Lenny]'' I love you, son. No matter what you eat, or how you dress.
:'''Angie''': ''[appears]'' Oscar?
:'''Oscar''': ''[sees her]'' Angie? Oh, Angie. I wish I knew now what I knew then. I mean...I wish you knew...what I knew...before this...
:'''Crazy Joe''': You're blowing it, man!
:'''Oscar''': Mind your business, all right?! It's emotional...and it's pressure! ''[turns back to Angie]'' What I'm saying is...I didn't need the Top of the Reef. Everything I ever wanted...was right in front of me the whole time.
:'''Angie''': But what about being a somebody?
:'''Oscar''': I'm a nobody without you. ''[Angie smiles. Crazy Joe pulls out his puppets making kissing noises]'' ''[awkwardly: to Joe]'' You're not helping. ''[chuckles]''
:'''Angie''': Oh. Come here, you big dumb, dummy head! ''[kisses Oscar]''
:'''Sykes''': I never told you two this, but you're the best henchmen a guy ever had. Come on, group hug.
:'''Ernie''': Sorry, man. Come, Sykes, try again, mon. Don't fret.
:'''Sykes''': Forget it. The moment's gone.
:'''Oscar''': So, uh, Lino... Uh, Don... We cool, right? I mean, like the reef is safe? Walk the streets, you know, without... aaah! You know.
:'''Don Lino''': Yeah, we're cool.
:''[cheering]''
:'''Katie Current''': Oscar. Excuse me. You've lost everything you lied so hard to achieve. Tell me, what's next for you?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Angie''': Come on, everyone's waiting, Mr. Manager.
:'''Oscar''': All right, I just gotta put the finishing touch on my new desk. Love ya, Pop.
:'''Sykes''': Yo, dog.
:'''Oscar''': Sykes.
:'''Sykes''': All right, partner, let's see what you can do.
:'''Oscar''': Sykes and Oscar's Whale Wash is now open for business.
:''[crowd cheering]''
:''[Christina Aguilera and Missy Elliott: &quot;Car Wash&quot;]''
:'''Oscar''': Yo, E, B. Let's get this party bumping.
:'''Bernie''': Yo, yo. It's E and B on the wheels of steel.
:'''Oscar''': Yo, Christina. Missy. How about we have a little Oscar-licious fun? Don't try this at home. Warm it up. I be warming it up. Okay, Jimbo, let it go!
:'''Lenny''': Hey, Angie, sorry Pop and I are late, but we brought some new customers.
:'''Luca''': Hey, how ya doing?
:'''Angie''': Wow.
:'''Lenny''': OK, guys, come on in.
:'''Sykes''': Come on, snap your fin. Snap it. You're not snapping it.
:'''Don Lino''': I'm snapping it, I'm snapping it!
:'''Sykes''': That's okay, a lot of great whites can't do it, yo.
:'''Don Lino''': Yo?
:'''Sykes''': Yo, what's up?
:'''Don Lino''': What's up with what?
:'''Sykes''': Yo-yo-yo, yo-yo-yo, yo-yo-yo-yo...
:'''Don Lino''': ''[threatening]'' Hey, you say &quot;Yo&quot; one more time, and I'm gonna yo you!
:'''Sykes''': ''[stops]'' I'm sorry.
:'''Shorty #2''': OK, dude, I pimped your hide.
:'''Shark''': All right.
:'''Don Feinberg''': Check me out.
:'''Orca''': Hey. You think this is funny? What am I, a clown to you?
:'''Oscar''': Keep up with me. Don't let me lose ya. You know I'll lose ya.
:'''Lenny''': In your face.
:'''Oscar''': What you got?
:'''Lenny''': You don't want none of this.
:'''Shrimp''': You gotta be kidding. Break it down, fellas. You got served.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lola''': ''[arrives at Oscar's former penthouse]'' Hello? Hello? Oscar? Listen, Baby, I know I was a bad girl, but you'd have to be crazy not to take me back.
:'''Crazy Joe''': ''[appears in front of Lola]'' Did someone say ''crazy''?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50&quot;%/&gt;
:''[# Justin Timberlake &amp; Timbaland: Good Foot]''
:'''Fish''': Taxi! Hey, taxi! Hello!
:'''Crazy Joe''': Hey! You gonna eat the rest of your popcorn? ''[eats the popcorn, groaning]'' Too much butter! Hey! A nacho! ''[eats the nacho]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[# Mary J Blige: Got To Be Real]''
:'''Crazy Joe''': ''[flies up to the end credits]'' You're not even halfway done yet.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[# Cheryl Lynn: Sweet Kind Of Life]''
:'''Crazy Joe''': What? You see this guy? He hardly worked on the movie at all! Always on the phone, yakking, yakking, yakking. Hah!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[# Pussycat Dolls: We Went As Far As We Felt Like Going]''
:'''Crazy Joe''': Man, have you guys seen what's playing next door? Hoo-hoo! Stinky!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Last lines; after the credits]''
:'''Mrs. Sanchez''': ''[opens the window; to the viewers]'' What're you doing? Go on. Get out of here. Come on. It's past your bedtime! ''[shuts the window]''
:''[Fades to black]''

==Delete Scenes from Dialogue==
:'''Lenny''': Ah! Oh! Ow, ow, ow! Dow! OWWWW!

==Trailer==
Random

==Taglines==
* In fall, a new school will rule
* The story of what happens when one little fish tells a great white lie...
* Behind every little fish is a great white lie.
* A new school's gonna rule...

==Cast==
* [[Will Smith]] — Oscar the Sharkslayer
* [[Robert De Niro|Robert de Niro]] — Don Lino
* [[w:Renée Zellweger|Renée Zellweger]] — Angie
* [[Jack Black]] — Lenny Lino
* [[Angelina Jolie]] — Lola
* [[Martin Scorsese]] — Sykes
* [[Ziggy Marley]] – Ernie
* [[w:Doug E. Doug|Doug E. Doug]] – Bernie
* [[w:Michael Imperioli|Michael Imperioli]] — Frankie Lino
* [[w:Vincent Pastore|Vincent Pastore]] — Luca
* [[w:Peter Falk|Peter Michael Falk]] — Don Ira Fienberg
* [[w:Katie Couric|Katie Couric]] — Katie Current
* David P. Smith — Crazy Joe
* [[Phil LaMarr]] — Prawn
* David Soren — Shrimp
* Shelley Morrison — Mr. Sanchez
* Sean Bishop – Whale

==External Links==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|id=0307453|title=Shark Tale}}
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=shark_tale|title=Shark Tale}}

{{Shark Tale}}
{{Authority control}}
[[Category:Shark Tale]]
[[Category:2004 films]]
[[Category:2004 computer-animated films]]
[[Category:2004 American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:Animated films about revenge]]
[[Category:Films about revenge]]
[[Category:Animated films about death]]
[[Category:Films about death]]
[[Category:Animated films about fish]]
[[Category:Animated buddy films]]
[[Category:Buddy films]]
[[Category:Films about sharks]]
[[Category:Films about lying]]
[[Category:Mafia comedy films]]
[[Category:Films directed by Rob Letterman]]
[[Category:DreamWorks Animation]]
[[Category:2000s English-language films]]
[[Category:Film controversies]]</text>
      <sha1>sehq8uv9znud8rfgn2sju0163aynakf</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Cristiano Ronaldo</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>29254</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944115</id>
      <parentid>3941653</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T03:38:09Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Mediocre Legacy</username>
        <id>2731146</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* */</comment>
      <origin>3944115</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="9749" sha1="ezohy95q3hxmm2r938158vevuy05pnr" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Cristiano Ronaldo, 2023.jpg|thumb|Cristiano Ronaldo in 2023]]

'''[[w:Cristiano Ronaldo|Cristiano Ronaldo dos Santos Aveiro]]''' [[w:Order of Prince Henry|GOIH]] [[w:Order of Merit (Portugal)|ComM]] (born 5 February 1985) is a Portuguese professional [[w:Association football|footballer]] who plays as a [[w:Forward (association football)|forward]] for and [[w:Captain (association football)|captains]] both [[w:Saudi Pro League|Saudi Pro League]] club [[w:Al-Nassr FC|Al-Nassr]] the [[w:Portugal national football team|Portugal national team]]. Widely regarded as one of the greatest players of all time, Ronaldo has won five [[w:Ballon d'Or|Ballon d'Or]] awards and four [[w:European Golden Shoe|European Golden Shoe]]s, the most by a European player. He has won [[w:List of career achievements by Cristiano Ronaldo#Collective awards|35 trophies in his career]], including eight league titles, five [[w:UEFA Champions League|UEFA Champions League]]s and the [[w:UEFA European Championship|UEFA European Championship]]. Ronaldo holds the records for [[w:List of UEFA Champions League top scorers#All-time top scorers|most goals]] (140) and [[w:European Cup and UEFA Champions League records and statistics#All-time top providers|assists]] (42) in the Champions League, [[w:List of UEFA European Championship goalscorers#Overall top goalscorers|most goals in the European Championship]] (14), and [[w:List of men's footballers with 50 or more international goals|most international goals by a male player]] (143). He is one of the few recorded players to have made over [[w:List of footballers with the most official appearances|1,300 professional career appearances]], and has scored over [[w:List of footballers with 500 or more goals|900 official senior career goals]] for club and country.

== Quotes ==
&lt;!-- sorted chronologically --&gt;


*I think that because I am rich, handsome and a great player people are envious of me. I don’t have any other explanation.
**{{cite web|author=Reuters Staff|work=Reuters|title=People envy my cash and looks - Ronaldo|date=15 September 2011|accessdate=16 February 2018|url=https://uk.reuters.com/article/uk-soccer-champions-real-ronaldo/people-envy-my-cash-and-looks-ronaldo-idUKTRE78E1TP20110915}}
**After being asked asked about the behaviour of the [[w:GNK Dinamo Zagreb#Supporters|Dinamo Zagreb supporters]], who chanted the name of [[w:Messi–Ronaldo rivalry|his perceived rival Lionel Messi]].

*''Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii''
**Translation: Yessssssssssssssssssss
**{{cite web|last=Dev|first=Sarthak|work=[[w:Football Paradise|Football Paradise]]|title=The Ballon d’Or: It’s time football stopped trying to be Hollywood|date=15 December 2017|accessdate=4 February 2018|url=https://www.footballparadise.com/ballon-dor/}}
**In the wake of winning his third [[w:Ballon d’Or|Ballon d’Or]] in December 2014.

*In my mind, I'm always the best. I don't care what people think, what they say. In my mind, not just this year but always, I'm always the best.
**{{cite web|work=BBC Sport|title=Cristiano Ronaldo: I'm the best player in the world|date=5 November 2015|accessdate=4 February 2018|url=http://www.bbc.com/sport/football/34737914}}
**In an interview with the [[w:BBC|BBC]] ahead of the release of ''[[w:Ronaldo (film)|Ronaldo]]''.

*It bothers me when it's said that Madrid is struggling because Cristiano is struggling. It feels like you are after me. If everyone was at my level, perhaps we would be in first place.
**{{cite web|author=Telegraph Sport|work=The Telegraph|title=Cristiano Ronaldo: If everyone was at my level perhaps we would be top?|date=28 February 2016|accessdate=16 February 2018|url=http://www.telegraph.co.uk/football/2016/02/28/cristiano-ronaldo-if-everyone-was-at-my-level-perhaps-we-would-b/}}
**Having lost 1–0 in the [[w:Madrid derby|Madrid derby]], Ronaldo lamented Spanish media for accusing him for [[w:Real Madrid CF|Real Madrid]]'s subpar performances. 

*I don’t see anyone better than me. No player does things that I cannot do myself, but I see things others can’t do. There’s no more complete player than me. I’m the best player in history — in the good and the bad moments.
**{{cite web|last=Dev|first=Sarthak|work=[[w:Football Paradise|Football Paradise]]|title=The Ballon d’Or: It’s time football stopped trying to be Hollywood|date=15 December 2017|accessdate=4 February 2018|url=https://www.footballparadise.com/ballon-dor/}}
**In the wake of winning his fifth Ballon d’Or in December 2017.

* We don't want to tell our dreams. We want to show them.
** Cristiano Ronaldo, [[Twitter]] post (8 February 2012): &quot;We don't want to tell our dreams. We want to show them. Give us all your support #Portugal #DENvsPOR&quot;

== Quotes about Ronaldo ==

*He [Ronaldo] was up against [[w:John O'Shea|John O'Shea]]. Sheasy ended up seeing the doctor at half time because he was actually having dizzy spells.
**{{cite web|last=Skillen|first=Charlie|work=Daily Mail|title=Cristiano Ronaldo sent John O'Shea 'into dizzy spells' when Manchester United faced Sporting in friendly and Roy Keane claims he 'knew' he would be one of world's best|date=6 October 2014|accessdate=5 February 2018|url=http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2782606/Cristiano-Ronaldo-sent-John-O-Shea-dizzy-spells-Manchester-United-faced-Sporting-says-Roy-Keane.html}}
**In his autobiography, ''The Second Half'', [[Roy Keane]] reminisces about the friendly match that earned Ronaldo a move from [[w:Sporting CP|Sporting CP]] to [[w:Manchester United F.C.|Manchester United]].

* ...absolute precision from the Dark Invader...this one is a death-ray hit from Real Madrid's glamour boy...
** {{cite book|last=Mandis|first=Steven G.|authorlink= |title=The Real Madrid Way: How Values Created the Most Successful Sports Team on the Planet |year=2016|publisher=BenBella Books|url=https://books.google.fi/books/about/The_Real_Madrid_Way.html?id=IEbQDAAAQBAJ&amp;redir_esc=y|isbn=978-1-942952-54-1&lt;!--(trade paper)--&gt;|ref=|p=}}
** [[w:Ray Hudson|Ray Hudson]] in the [[w:2014 UEFA Champions League Final|2014 UEFA Champions League Final]], after Ronaldo converted the [[w:Penalty kick (association football)|penalty]] into the right of the net for a record 17th goal in the tournament.

*he's a gift from heaven isn't he? he is truly a gift from heaven, whatever he touches turns to gold.

&lt;!--*We’ve had some great players at this club in my 20 years, but he’s up with the best.
**Sir [[w:Alex Ferguson|Alex Ferguson]] compliments Ronaldo, as quoted in [http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article1540320.ece &quot;Ronaldo has last laugh as penalty puts United into semi-finals&quot; in ''The TImes'' (20 March 2007)]]

* He's six-foot two, brave as a lion, strong as an ox and quick as lightning. If he was good looking, you'd say he has everything.
** [[w:Paul Jewell|Paul Jewell]], [http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/funny_old_game/7389986.stm &quot;Premier League quotes of the season&quot; BBC SPORTS (12 may 2008)]

* The kid makes you sick. He looks the part, he walks the part, he is the part. He's six-foot something, fit as a flea, good-looking - he's got to have something wrong with him....Hopefully he's hung like a hamster! That would make us all feel better!
** [[w:Ian Holloway|Ian Holloway]], [http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/7329117.stm &quot;Holloway column&quot; , BBC SPORTS(4 april 2008)]

* There have been a few players described as the new George Best over the years, but this is the first time it's been a compliment to me.&quot; 
** [[w:George Best|George Best]], as quoted in [http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article891202.ece &quot;Funniest ever footie quotes&quot; in  The Sun]

*For me, he is an exceptional player.
**[[w:Cesc Fabregas|Cesc Fabregas]] on Ronaldo, as quoted in [http://news2.thdo.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/m/man_utd/7181678.stm BBC News]

*It's a great honor for Madeira to have a young man like Cristiano Ronaldo and a great honor for the regional government to welcome Madeira's most famous man.”
**[[w:Alberto Joao Jardim|Alberto Joao Jardim]] Presdient of Madeira’s Regional government  on Cristiano Ronaldo as quoted in [http://www.jockbio.com/Bios/C_Ronaldo/C_Ronaldo_they-say.html]

*In the time I've been playing with Ronnie, the one thing I've noticed about him is that he can't walk past his reflection without admiring it, even if we're about to play a game of football.
** [[w:Wayne Rooney|Wayne Rooney]], as quoted in [http://www.insideworldsoccer.com/2012/09/rooney-ronaldo-obsessed-with-his-own.html]

*Ronaldo is better than George Best and Denis Law, who were two brilliant and great players in the history of United.
** [[w:Johan Cruyff|Johan Cruyff]], as quoted in [http://www.presstv.ir/detail.aspx?id=49967&amp;sectionid=3510211]

*Ronaldo is not protected by anybody or because of anybody. Rivals see the body of an animal and they kick him. Bang! Bang! To get a yellow card they need to do that a lot. Bang! Another, no [yellow card]. A foul and then the first yellow, but they can’t touch him after that because it would be a red.
**[[w:José Mourinho|José Mourinho]], as quoted in [http://blogs.bettor.com/Mourinho-believes-Ronaldo-is-not-protected-by-anybody-a194325]

*For me he is the best player in the world. A machine. Incomparable.
**[[w:Fernando Torres|Fernando Torres]] on Ronaldo, as quoted in [http://www.insideworldsoccer.com/2008/11/torres-ronaldo-is-incomparable.html inside World Soccer]--&gt;

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commons category}}
{{Wikinews}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Ronaldo, Cristiano}}
[[Category:Football (soccer) players]]
[[Category:Philanthropists]]
[[Category:Catholics from Portugal]]
[[Category:1985 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:World record holders]]</text>
      <sha1>ezohy95q3hxmm2r938158vevuy05pnr</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Nigel Molesworth</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>33268</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943993</id>
      <parentid>2884754</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T17:29:33Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>GrimRob</username>
        <id>1187925</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>GrimRob moved page [[Molesworth]] to [[Nigel Molesworth]] over redirect: matches WP name</comment>
      <origin>2884754</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3665" sha1="teo24udszgx5ff5jysu9b1fdprkpz82" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Nigel Molesworth|Nigel Molesworth]]''' is the eponymous character in a series of four 1950s humour books written by [[w:Geoffrey Willans|Geoffrey Willans]] and illustrated by [[w:Ronald Searle|Ronald Searle]]. Molesworth is the self-styled &quot;curse of st. custards&quot; School, in form 3B, forever attempting to negotiate the problems put in his way by other pupils and the masters. His writing is marked by characteristically bad, but consistent, spelling.

==Sourced==

* a chiz is a swiz or swindle '''as any fule kno'''.
** &quot;Down with Skool!&quot; (1953). (The Compleet Molesworth, Pavilion Books, 1985, p. 8)

* grabber who is head of the skool captane of everything and winer of the mrs joyful prize for rafia work.
** &quot;Down with Skool!&quot; (1953). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 11)

* Acktually fotherington-tomas is worse than me he is girlie and spend his time skipping about he sa '''Hullo clouds hullo sky hullo sun''' etc when huge centre forward bearing down on him and SHOT whistles past his nose.
** &quot;Down with Skool!&quot; (1953). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 13)

* Peotry is sissy stuff that rhymes. 
** &quot;Down with Skool!&quot; (1953). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 36)

* All latin masters hav one joke.&lt;p align=center&gt;''Caesar adsum jam forte&lt;br&gt;or&lt;br&gt;caesar had some jam for tea.
** &quot;Down with Skool!&quot; (1953). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 41)

* You kno who this is e.g. Me nigel molesworth '''the curse of st custard's'''.
** &quot;How to be topp&quot; (1954). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 109)

* Meanwhile in the master's common room. Sigismund arbuthnot the mad maths master musters his rhomboids.
** &quot;How to be topp&quot; (1954). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 124)

* Aktually it is only fotherington-tomas you kno he sa Hullo clouds hullo sky he is a girlie and love the scents and sounds of nature tho the less i smell and hear them the better.
** &quot;How to be topp&quot; (1954). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 125)

* Sometimes they think they will trick you into liking lat. by having a latin pla. Latin plas are like this &amp;ndash;&lt;p align=center&gt;''THE HOGWARTS&lt;br&gt;by&lt;br&gt;MARCUS PLAUTUS MOLESWORTHUS''
** &quot;How to be topp&quot; (1954). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 131)

* Every skool hav a resident buly who is fat and roll about the place clouting everybode.
** &quot;How to be topp&quot; (1954). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 148)

* Foopball is a tuough game but it is a pity you canot win by hacking everybode. You hav to be nippy.
** &quot;How to be topp&quot; (1954). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 163)

* He is my grate friend so i hav let him off litely. He is much worse than this aktually as his mummy call him 'darling' and kiss his ickle-pritty face. The old gurl must be blind. Or bats. Or both.
** &quot;Whizz for Atomms&quot; (1957). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 210)
** On his friend &quot;Peason&quot; (presumably Pearson).

* His piece &quot;Fairy Bells&quot; on the skool piano will never be forgoten by those who hav heard it.
** &quot;Whizz for Atomms&quot; (1957). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 210)
** On &quot;Molesworth 2, My Bro.&quot;

* A grave thort strike me:&lt;p align=center&gt;&lt;small&gt;ALL BOOKS WHICH BOYS HAV TO READ ARE WRONG&lt;/small&gt;
** &quot;Whizz for Atomms&quot; (1957). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 243)

* Coo ur gosh i expect this is a bit of a shock especially for the gurls. As you kno it hav long been an open secret in 3b that i never intend to get maried. This hav been becos if you get maried it hav to be to a GURL chiz and hitherto my conviction hav been that GURLS are uterly wet and weedstruck.
** &quot;Back in the jug agane&quot; (1958). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 388)

==External links==
{{Wikipedia|Nigel Molesworth}}
Public Facebook Group on Above https://www.facebook.com/groups/22349519737/
[[Category:Fictional characters]]</text>
      <sha1>teo24udszgx5ff5jysu9b1fdprkpz82</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943995</id>
      <parentid>3943993</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T17:29:56Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>GrimRob</username>
        <id>1187925</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* External links */</comment>
      <origin>3943995</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3648" sha1="mlc4ub42c806eo57rl6err4nmldahcw" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Nigel Molesworth|Nigel Molesworth]]''' is the eponymous character in a series of four 1950s humour books written by [[w:Geoffrey Willans|Geoffrey Willans]] and illustrated by [[w:Ronald Searle|Ronald Searle]]. Molesworth is the self-styled &quot;curse of st. custards&quot; School, in form 3B, forever attempting to negotiate the problems put in his way by other pupils and the masters. His writing is marked by characteristically bad, but consistent, spelling.

==Sourced==

* a chiz is a swiz or swindle '''as any fule kno'''.
** &quot;Down with Skool!&quot; (1953). (The Compleet Molesworth, Pavilion Books, 1985, p. 8)

* grabber who is head of the skool captane of everything and winer of the mrs joyful prize for rafia work.
** &quot;Down with Skool!&quot; (1953). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 11)

* Acktually fotherington-tomas is worse than me he is girlie and spend his time skipping about he sa '''Hullo clouds hullo sky hullo sun''' etc when huge centre forward bearing down on him and SHOT whistles past his nose.
** &quot;Down with Skool!&quot; (1953). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 13)

* Peotry is sissy stuff that rhymes. 
** &quot;Down with Skool!&quot; (1953). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 36)

* All latin masters hav one joke.&lt;p align=center&gt;''Caesar adsum jam forte&lt;br&gt;or&lt;br&gt;caesar had some jam for tea.
** &quot;Down with Skool!&quot; (1953). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 41)

* You kno who this is e.g. Me nigel molesworth '''the curse of st custard's'''.
** &quot;How to be topp&quot; (1954). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 109)

* Meanwhile in the master's common room. Sigismund arbuthnot the mad maths master musters his rhomboids.
** &quot;How to be topp&quot; (1954). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 124)

* Aktually it is only fotherington-tomas you kno he sa Hullo clouds hullo sky he is a girlie and love the scents and sounds of nature tho the less i smell and hear them the better.
** &quot;How to be topp&quot; (1954). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 125)

* Sometimes they think they will trick you into liking lat. by having a latin pla. Latin plas are like this &amp;ndash;&lt;p align=center&gt;''THE HOGWARTS&lt;br&gt;by&lt;br&gt;MARCUS PLAUTUS MOLESWORTHUS''
** &quot;How to be topp&quot; (1954). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 131)

* Every skool hav a resident buly who is fat and roll about the place clouting everybode.
** &quot;How to be topp&quot; (1954). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 148)

* Foopball is a tuough game but it is a pity you canot win by hacking everybode. You hav to be nippy.
** &quot;How to be topp&quot; (1954). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 163)

* He is my grate friend so i hav let him off litely. He is much worse than this aktually as his mummy call him 'darling' and kiss his ickle-pritty face. The old gurl must be blind. Or bats. Or both.
** &quot;Whizz for Atomms&quot; (1957). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 210)
** On his friend &quot;Peason&quot; (presumably Pearson).

* His piece &quot;Fairy Bells&quot; on the skool piano will never be forgoten by those who hav heard it.
** &quot;Whizz for Atomms&quot; (1957). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 210)
** On &quot;Molesworth 2, My Bro.&quot;

* A grave thort strike me:&lt;p align=center&gt;&lt;small&gt;ALL BOOKS WHICH BOYS HAV TO READ ARE WRONG&lt;/small&gt;
** &quot;Whizz for Atomms&quot; (1957). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 243)

* Coo ur gosh i expect this is a bit of a shock especially for the gurls. As you kno it hav long been an open secret in 3b that i never intend to get maried. This hav been becos if you get maried it hav to be to a GURL chiz and hitherto my conviction hav been that GURLS are uterly wet and weedstruck.
** &quot;Back in the jug agane&quot; (1958). (The Compleet Molesworth, p. 388)

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
Public Facebook Group on Above https://www.facebook.com/groups/22349519737/
[[Category:Fictional characters]]</text>
      <sha1>mlc4ub42c806eo57rl6err4nmldahcw</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Sandy Koufax</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>37105</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944164</id>
      <parentid>3832734</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T11:30:45Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>GrimRob</username>
        <id>1187925</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Undid revision [[Special:Diff/3473518|3473518]] by [[Special:Contributions/Omnis Scientia|Omnis Scientia]] ([[User talk:Omnis Scientia|talk]]) if he changed his mind add another quote then, don't delete this one</comment>
      <origin>3944164</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="26187" sha1="jo49q8o8edm4qs6kphz2ymwibjp054e" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Sandy Koufax.jpg|thumb|right|Sure, nice guys can win — if they're nice guys with a lot of talent.]]
'''[[w:Sandy Koufax|Sandy Koufax]]''' (born '''Sanford Braun''' on [[30 December]] [[1935]]) is an American left-handed former pitcher in Major League Baseball who played his entire career for the Brooklyn/Los Angeles Dodgers, from 1955 to 1966.
__TOC__ 

==Quotes==
[[File:Sandy Koufax 1961.png|thumb|right|If you do a good job, the numbers say so. You don't have to ask anyone or play politics. You don't have to wait for the reviews.]]

*  What do I strive for? Well, I go out there with the idea of shooting for a no-hit game. When the first hit is made off me, I then try to keep them or any runs scored down to a minimum. The main idea is to win. As to strikeouts, yes. I am proud of my records. I'm not out there trying to blow down every hitter. There are too many smart ones in the league. I want to get them out first, strike them out if I can.
** As quoted in [http://www.mediafire.com/view/g4jn0gn075ca5w9/.jpg &quot;Sidelight on Sports: For Lack of an Offer&quot;] by Al Abrams, in ''The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette'' (June 6, 1962)

* The biggest thrill is the game where you give up one or two or three runs when you don't have anything, when you have no right even being out there, no reason to be out there. Those games are the difference between having a .500 year and a really great year. You figure, if you go out there 30 times, 15 times you're going to have great stuff and 15 times you're going to have mediocre stuff. If you can win a fair percentage of the games when you're mediocre, you're going to have a good year.
** As quoted in [https://www.si.com/vault/1965/12/20/607766/koufax-on-koufax &quot;Koufax on Koufax&quot;] ''Sports Illustrated'' (December 20, 1965)

* Well, I already have a fork ball, but it's not really another pitch. I use it instead of a change of pace. If I have a good fast ball and a good curve ball I hesitate to use anything else. But if they're not getting me by, I try to use anything I can, including the fork ball. [...] I don't know if I can throw any other pitches. I used to try the slider once in a while, and some other pitches, but since I had [[w:arthritis|this little problem with my elbow]] it seems like only my old standby pitches don't bother me. All the new stuff, like the slider or the others I used to try, it seems like they all hurt my arm.
** As quoted in [https://www.si.com/vault/1965/12/20/607766/koufax-on-koufax &quot;Koufax on Koufax&quot;]

* You know what happens? Somebody writes a story 10 years ago and it never changes. If the guy 10 years ago was wrong, the stories are gonna be wrong for 20 years afterward. [...] They used to annoy me a lot more, but now I've begun to feel they're going to be written, there's nothing I can do about it and I'm not going to worry about it. Sometimes things don't come out the way you say them. You run into one of those reporters who's more interested in the dictionary and the very good usage of the English language, and he thinks that when {{w|John Roseboro}} says cool it means [[wikt:aloof|cold]]. But you can't let it annoy you.
** As quoted in [https://www.si.com/vault/1965/12/20/607766/koufax-on-koufax &quot;Koufax on Koufax&quot;]

* At times it's a satisfaction and at times it's a little bit of an intrusion. You don't mind the kids. But sometimes their parents get to be...well, not bad about it, but they become demanding. The kids will ask, but the parents will demand sometimes. As long as somebody asks, I don't mind at all. But the ones who demand are tough on me. I've got so many bosses already I don't know if I can stand one or two more.
** On autograph seekers, as quoted in [https://www.si.com/vault/1965/12/20/607766/koufax-on-koufax &quot;Koufax on Koufax&quot;]

* People who write about spring training not being necessary have never tried to throw a baseball.
** As quoted in &quot;Sandy Began Slowly and Then Got Worse; At Tired Arm Stage&quot; by Charles Maher, in ''The Los Angeles Times'' (April 14, 1966)

*  I'll never know. I've never been in a fight. But I doubt whether pitching speed would have any significance. You can't go into a windup in the ring.
** As quoted in &quot;Stuart's Problem; Suppose Sandy Had Become a Boxer&quot; by Sid Ziff, in ''The Los Angeles Times'' (July 7, 1966)

*  I know I was faster 10 years ago. I think [[w:Jim Maloney|Jim Maloney]], [[w:Bob Veale|Bob Veale]], [[w:Bob Gibson|Bob Gibson]] and perhaps one or two others throw faster. In my best days I don't think I threw faster than [[w:Ryne Duren|Ryne Duren]]. He was the fastest I ever saw.
** As quoted in &quot;Stuart's Problem; Suppose Sandy Had Become a Boxer&quot;

* There were now men on first and second. The batter was [[Henry Aaron]]. I walked him on four straight balls, which was probably the smartest thing I did all year. There have been many times since when I wished I had been wild enough to walk Henry Aaron. I'm usually backing up third as I am wishing it.
** In [https://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&amp;tbm=bks&amp;q=%22It+was+probably+the+worst+thing+that+could+have+happened+to+me%22+intitle:Koufax&amp;num=10 ''Koufax''] (1966) by Koufax with Ed Linn, pp. 96-97

* It was probably the worst thing that could have happened to me, getting my first out by striking out a big hitter. Because that became my pattern for five years, trying to get out of trouble by throwing harder and harder and harder.
** In [https://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&amp;tbm=bks&amp;q=%22It+was+probably+the+worst+thing+that+could+have+happened+to+me%22+intitle:Koufax&amp;num=10 ''Koufax''] (1966), p. 97

* But in the end it all comes down to talent. You can talk all you want about intangibles, I just don't know what that means. Talent makes winners, not intangibles. Can nice guys win? '''Sure, nice guys can win — if they're nice guys with a lot of talent. Nice guys with a little talent finish fourth, and nice guys with no talent finish last.'''
** In [https://books.google.com/books?id=gUfhAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22nice+guys+with+no+talent+finish+last%22&amp;dq=%22nice+guys+with+no+talent+finish+last%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0ahUKEwjlju3KtZzhAhWkmOAKHVspAmoQ6AEILzAB ''Koufax''] (1966), p. 133; as quoted in &quot;Koufax writes: 'Sure nice guys can win'&quot; by Ed Rumill, ''The Christian Science Monitor'' (August 29, 1966) and ''Total Baseball : The Official Encyclopedia of Major League Baseball'' (2001) by John Thorn, p. 2468

* In 1960 I had made the transition from thrower to pitcher and had not understood that in making the transition I had made a beginning, not an end. you become a pitcher before you become a ''good'' pitcher. [...] Nor do I wish to testify under oath that I have not forgotten, do not—and will not—forget from time to time and revert to the wayward ways of my youth. It's usually when I'm tired or mad, but dumbness is not to be completely discounted either. In the 1965 All-Star Game I was terribly wild. I came into the game in the sixth inning and immediately threw seven straight balls. Although I got out of the inning, it was a struggle with every batter. [...] There was not a thing wrong with my arm. My arm was fine. My head was something else again. Knowing that I was only going to pitch an inning or two, I had thought, &quot;Well, hell, I'll just go in and throw as hard as I can.&quot; And there I was, right back where I'd been ten years ago, wild high.
** In [https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&amp;ei=gcKYXLjbLuHc5gKJk4CwBQ&amp;q=%22Knowing+that+I+was+only+going+to+pitch+an+inning+or+two+i+had+thought%22+intitle%3AKoufax&amp;oq=%22Knowing+that+I+was+only+going+to+pitch+an+inning+or+two+i+had+thought%22+intitle%3AKoufax&amp;gs_l=psy-ab.12...51144.54771.0.56735.14.14.0.0.0.0.79.1027.14.14.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..0.0.0....0.CikSPCk1U9s ''Koufax''] (1966), p. 157

* [[Roberto Clemente]] hit an outside fastball that was still rising when it hit against the light tower in left center field, 450 feet away from home plate. And on a 1-2 pitch at that.  But there is no such thing as a good pitch to Clemente. Ask me how to pitch to Clemente, and I will tell you with complete confidence, &quot;How do I know?&quot; Roberto can hit any pitch, anywhere, at any time. He'll hit pitchouts, he'll hit brush-back pitches. He'll hit high, inside pitches deep to the opposite field, which would be ridiculous even if he didn't do it with both feet off the ground.
** In [https://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&amp;tbm=bks&amp;q=%22clemente+hit+an+outside+fastball+that+was+still+rising%22+intitle:Koufax&amp;num=10 ''Koufax''] (1966), p. 220

* It is a curious thing that while a home-run hitter is expected to fatten up in the routs, and the pitchers are certainly not supposed to let up, the opposing team becomes furious when a base is stolen after a game is apparently out of reach. Particularly the manager. The theory seems to be that the stolen base is somehow extraneous to the game, that it is an extra effort, a thumbing of the nose. Not on ''our'' team it isn't. Stealing bases ''is'' [[w:Maury Wills|Maury]]'s game, and—to a sometimes alarming extent—it was the Dodgers' offense. Maury's game is to get the other team upset, to get them into a frame of mind where they are so eager ''not'' to let him show them up that the catcher throws the ball too hastily and the fielder rushes his tag. Result: the hasty throw is off the mark and the infielder neglects to wait for the ball. Maury's game is called Panic!
** In [https://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&amp;tbm=bks&amp;q=%22clemente+hit+an+outside+fastball+that+was+still+rising%22+intitle:Koufax&amp;num=10 ''Koufax''] (1966), p. 246

* Maury had been made captain in the first week of spring training, a title which usually entitles its bearer to carry the lineup card to the umpires and draw an extra $500 on his salary. Maury took it seriously, and his leadership had a strong, cohesive effect. [...] Maury has become a dominant figure in our locker room. He has come to believe that there is nothing he cannot do if he sets his mind to it. There is something almost mystical in his belief in himself, especially when you remember that he came to us after nine full years in the minors with all the uncertainties of the fringe player hoping to hold on.
** In [https://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&amp;tbm=bks&amp;q=%22clemente+hit+an+outside+fastball+that+was+still+rising%22+intitle:Koufax&amp;num=10 ''Koufax''] (1966), p. 246

*  '''I don't regret one minute of the twelve years I've spent in baseball, but I could regret one season too many.''' [...] I've got a lot of years to live after baseball and I would like to live them with complete use of my body.
** 1966 press conference announcing retirement, as quoted by UPI, in [https://newspaperarchive.com/pittsfield-berkshire-eagle-nov-19-1966-p-30/ &quot;Sandy Koufax Announces Retirement from Baseball at News Meeting&quot;] by Alex Kahn (UPI), in ''The Pittsfield Berkshire Eagle'' (November 19, 1966)

* I don’t know if cortisone is good for you or not. But to take a shot every other ball game is more than I wanted to do and to walk around with a constant upset stomach because of the pills and to be high half the time during a ball game because you’re taking painkillers … I don’t want to have to do that [...] '''I don't regret one minute of the last 12 years but I think I would regret the one year that was too many.'''
** Excerpts from 1966 press conference, in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ouIk6RvUl8 ''Baseball: 8th Inning – A Whole New Ballgame''] (1994) by [[w:Ken Burns|Ken Burns]], [[w:Geoffrey C. Ward|Geoffrey C. Ward]]

* [[Willie Mays|Mays]] always told me how hard it was to get a hit off me and every time I looked up, he was on second base. Yet, even with Mays, I had an idea what to do. When I pitched to [[Roberto Clemente|Clemente]] and [[Hank Aaron|Aaron]], I had no idea. They seemed to hit everything.
** As quoted in &quot;Koufax Still a Champion&quot; by Les Biederman, in ''The Pittsburgh Press'' (May 8, 1967)

* If I could straighten it out, I'd be pitching at Dodger Stadium tonight instead of playing golf.
** After being admonished to &quot;get that left arm all the way round [and] straighten it out&quot; by [[w:Omni_La_Costa_Resort_and_Spa|La Costa Resort]]'s golf pro; as quoted in &quot;How Red the Rose&quot; by John Hall, in &quot;The Los Angeles Times&quot; (May 15, 1968)

* '''The only time I really try for a strikeout is when I'm in a jam.''' If the bases are loaded with none out, for example, then I'll go for a strikeout. But most of the time I try to throw to spots. I try to get them to pop up or ground out. On a strikeout I might have to throw five or six pitches, sometimes more if there are foul-offs. That tires me. So I just try to get outs. That's what counts — outs. You win with outs, not strikeouts.
** As quoted by Jack Orr (former ''{{w|Philadelphia Daily News}}'' sportswriter who had since become managing editor at ''[[w:Billboard (magazine)|Billboard]]''), in ''My Greatest Day in Baseball'' (1968) by John P. Carmichael, and ''Baseball's Greatest Quotations : An Illustrated Treasury'' (2008) by Paul Dickson, p. 302

* Last year wasn't [[w:Tom Seaver|Seaver]]'s kind of year, but he's still an impressive pitcher, still strong. Like [[w:Denny McLain|McLain]], [[w:Juan Marichal|Marichal]] and [[w:Bob Gibson|Gibson]], he has the good stuff and control. I mean he can make an excellent fastball or curve and throw it in good spots. '''A guy who throws what he intends to throw—that's the definition of a good pitcher.'''
** As quoted in &quot;Gibson, Marichal Top Koufax's Dream Team; [http://www.mediafire.com/view/bd0ze7jbk2ptnwa/Article_3_--_No_Title_Incompl.jpg Koufax Picks 11&quot;] by Bob Oates, ''Los Angeles Times'' (March 31, 1971), Pt. III, pp. [http://www.mediafire.com/view/cd9joqgvce7cegu/Gibson%2C_Marichal_Top_Koufax's_.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/view/cd9joqgvce7cegu/Gibson%2C_Marichal_Top_Koufax's_.jpg 1], 6

* '''Pitching is the art of instilling fear''', making the man flinch by making him look for the wrong pitch. You're trying to control his instincts. But if your control is suspect like [[w:Nolan Ryan|Ryan]]'s is, and the thought of being hit is in the batter's mind, you'll go a long way.
** As quoted in &quot;Baseball's Exorcist Striking Out to New Horizons; Batter's Fear Helps Ryan Blaze Lay [sic] to Major League Record&quot; by Jackie Lapin, in ''The Washington Post'' (September 1, 1974)

* I became a good pitcher when I stopped trying to make them miss the ball and started trying to make them hit it.
** As quote in &quot;Quote... : Father knows best; Soviet hindsight; Life in the NBA: Koufax strategy,&quot; ''The Christian Science Monitor'' (June 24, 1976), p.&amp;nbsp;11

* '''The game has a cleanness. If you do a good job, the numbers say so. You don't have to ask anyone or play politics. You don't have to wait for the reviews.'''
** As quoted in [https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/politics/1979/03/21/koufax/3139f66f-996a-485f-8cce-8f7671152136/?utm_term=.174cfc71ede2 &quot;Koufax: Hall of Famer Back in Baseball After Years of 'Wandering'&quot;] by Thomas Boswell, in ''The Washington Post'' (March 21, 1979)

* Show me a guy who can't pitch inside and I'll show you a loser.
** As quoted in [https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1981/05/04/one-hard-way-to-make-a-living &quot;One Hard Way to Make a Living&quot;] by Roger Angell, in ''The New Yorker'' (May 4, 1981), p. 96; reprinted in ''Late Innings'' (1982) by Roger Angell, p. 358

* You've got to be lucky to pitch a no-hitter, and if you have good stuff, it's easier to be lucky.
** Speaking on July 1, 1990, at [[w:Dodger Stadium|Chavez Ravine]], in reference to a no-hitter thrown there just two days before by the [[w:Los Angeles Dodgers|Dodgers']] {{w|Fernando Valuenzela}} (and, coincidentally, just hours before the [[w:New York Yankees|Yankees']] {{w|Andy Hawkins}} would, thanks to three 8th-inning Bomber miscues, [[w:No-hitter#Nine-inning_no-hitters_in_a_losing_effort|famously record a 4-0, complete-game loss]] to [[w:Chicago White Sox|Chicago]], despite giving up no hits ); as quoted in [https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1990-07-02-sp-474-story.html &quot;Notes on a Scorecard&quot;] by Allan Malamud, in ''The Los Angeles Times'' (July 2, 1990)

* I was known for my [[w:fastball|fastball]] and [[w:curveball|curve]] and did well with just those two pitches, but people don't know that I tried to add a third pitch, any third pitch. For a long time, I tried to learn the [[w:changeup|changeup]]. The Dodgers taught the changeup in a certain way - it was the Dodgers' changeup - and I tried to learn it for ten years but never got the hang of it. I never liked my changeup, and I never wanted to throw it. One day, I was playing catch and started to fool around with the [[w:forkball|forkball]], and it felt more comfortable to me. I said, &quot;Well, I'm gonna try this instead of the changeup.&quot; So I started to throw it, but I only used it occasionally in games, because I didn't throw it hard enough.{{paragraph break}}I also threw the [[w:slider|slider]] a couple of times. I threw the slider to Henry Aaron and Roberto Clemente, because I figured if it worked on those two great hitters, then I had something there. So I threw it to Aaron and almost hit him in the face. He reached out to get it, and it came right at him. And I threw it to Clemente. You may remember that in [[w:Forbes Field|Forbes Field]] in Pittsburgh, there was a light tower by where they used to park the batting cage. Halfway up. there was a bunch of transformers. Well, Clemente hit it off a transformer. I said, &quot;Well, maybe I don't have a slider,&quot; and I gave it up. So, I never came up with a third pitch.
** Interview on ''[[w:The Tim McCarver Show|The Tim McCarver Show]]'', talking about on his efforts to find a third pitch; as quoted in  ''Tim McCarver's Diamond Gems'' (2006), [https://archive.org/details/timmccarversdiam0000unse/page/224/mode/2up pp.&amp;nbsp;224-225]

== Quotes about Koufax ==
* Sandy Koufax. Sandy was a special problem for me because he possessed exceptional control, speed and a great curve ball. He was highly disciplined, extremely committed and a very private person. These qualities enabled him to concentrate on his profession without a lot of unnecessary distractions.
**[[Ernie Banks]], responding to the question, &quot;Who was the toughest pitcher you faced during your career, and why was he a special problem for you?&quot;; as quoted in &quot;Hall of Famers Name Their Toughest Diamond Foes&quot; by William Guilfoile, in ''The 1991 National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum Yearbook''; reprinted in ''Baseball Digest'' (August 1992), p. 28

* He's the greatest pitcher I ever saw. I can still see that big curveball. It had a great arc on it, and he never bounced it in the dirt. Sandy's curve had a lot more spin than anybody else's -- it spun like a fastball coming out of his hand -- and he had the fastball of a pure strikeout pitcher. It jumped up at the end. The batter would swing half a foot under it. Most of the time we knew what was coming, because he held his hands closer to his head when he threw a curveball, but it didn't matter. Even though he was tipping off his pitches, you still couldn't hit him.
**[[Ernie Banks]], as quoted in [https://www.si.com/mlb/2014/08/29/sandy-koufax-dodgers-left-arm-god-si-60 &quot;The Left Arm of God: Sandy Koufax was more than just a perfect pitcher&quot;] by Tom Verducci, in ''Sports Illustrated'' (July 12, 1999) 

* You can learn a lot about the problems of [[journalism]] by studying the printed record of the life of Sandy Koufax. As far as I am concerned, nobody since {{w|Rudolph Valentino}} ever had as many myths, legends and pure balderdash written about him as Sandy. The reason is simple: Sandy is a warm, friendly, honest, intelligent human being, one of the finest human beings I have ever known, but the truth is he was never very colorful. In an age when self-promotion has been raised to a fine art, Sandy mastered the fine art of quiet effectiveness. He spoke clearly and briefly, and he did not go into lurid details about how he struck out this batter with a clever fast ball on the inside corner when the batter had been expecting a slider, or how he crossed up the offense by swinging away in the eighth inning when they were expecting him to bunt, or how he expected to win even more games next year, or how he intended to murder them in the World Series with his high hard ones. A {{w|Billy Loes}} he was not. And as far as his private life was concerned, Sandy kept that completely personal and confidential.
** {{w|Buzzie Bavasi}}, [https://www.si.com/vault/1967/05/15/610695/the-great-holdout &quot;The Great Holdout,&quot;] ''Sports Illustrated'' (May 15, 1967)

* I'll always remember that first pitch. It was a fastball that looked like it would hit the dirt in front of the plate. Then, all of a sudden, it rose for a knee-high strike. '''As soon as I saw that fastball, the hair raised up on my arms. The only other time the hair on my arms ever raised up was in Rome when I saw [[Michelangelo]]'s paintings on the ceiling of the [[w:Sistine Chapel|Sistine Chapel]]'''.
** [[w:Al Campanis|Al Campanis]], speaking with reporters in January 1979, regarding Koufax's first tryout with the Dodgers, in which Campanis served as a simulated batter, with coach [[w:Rube Walker|Rube Walker]] catching; as quoted in [http://articles.chicagotribune.com/1986-08-17/sports/8603010884_1_cary-grant-sandy-koufax-no-hitter/2 &quot;There Are Players, And Stars--and Koufax&quot;] by [[w:Ray Didinger|Ray Didinger]] ([[w:Knight Ridder|Knight-Ridder]]), in ''The Chicago Tribune'' (August 17, 1986); and paraphrased and quoted in [https://www.nytimes.com/1979/01/28/archives/sandy-koufax-and-the-sistine-chapel-sports-of-the-times.html &quot;Sandy Koufax and the Sistine Chapel&quot;] by [[w:Dave Anderson|Dave Anderson]] in ''The New York Times'' (January 28, 1979)

* It's no disgrace to get beat by class.
** [[w:Bob Hendley|Bob Hendley]], the losing Chicago Cubs pitcher in [[w:Sandy Koufax's perfect game|Koufax's perfect game]], after Koufax sent him a gift to commemorate the 35th anniversary of the game — a 1965 NL baseball signed, &quot;What a game!&quot; plus a small handwritten note: &quot;We had a moment, a night, a career. I hope life has been good to you. Sandy.&quot; Hendley himself pitched a one-hitter in the game, allowing one unearned run. ''American Jews and America's Game: Voices of a Growing Legacy in Baseball'', p. 17

* We need just two players to be a contender. Just Babe Ruth and Sandy Koufax.
** [[w:Whitey Herzog|Whitey Herzog]], critiquing the 1973 [[w:Texas Rangers|Texas Rangers]] prior to being replaced, in season, as Rangers manager by [[Billy Martin]]; as quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=42gNAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=herzog+%22babe+ruth+and+sandy+koufax%22&amp;dq=herzog+%22babe+ruth+and+sandy+koufax%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0ahUKEwjqtNTYs__QAhWDKyYKHW7iBCkQ6AEILTAD ''Total Baseball''] (2001) by John Thorn, p. 2468

* It sounded like somebody firing a pistol in a canyon . . . pow, pow, pow. That was the sound of the fastball popping [[w:Rube Walker|Rube]]'s mitt in that empty ballpark. We all came in to watch this kid.
** [[w:Tommy Lasorda|Tommy Lasorda]], on Koufax's first tryout with the Dodgers, as witnessed by Lasorda and several other Dodger pitchers, who were jogging in the outfield at the time; as quoted in [http://articles.chicagotribune.com/1986-08-17/sports/8603010884_1_cary-grant-sandy-koufax-no-hitter/2 &quot;There Are Players, And Stars--and Koufax&quot;] by [[w:Ray Didinger|Ray Didinger]] ([[w:Knight Ridder|Knight-Ridder]]), in ''The Chicago Tribune'' (August 17, 1986)

* If there was one game I had to win and I could pick any pitcher in any era, I'd pick Sandy. I'd sit in the bullpen and watch him paint that outside corner with a 95 mile-per-hour fastball and throw curves that looked like they were dropping out of the third deck. I'd think, &quot;I'm gonna relieve this guy? With my stuff?&quot;
** [[w:Ron Perranoski|Ron Perranoski]], as quoted in [http://articles.chicagotribune.com/1986-08-17/sports/8603010884_1_cary-grant-sandy-koufax-no-hitter/2 &quot;There Are Players, And Stars--and Koufax&quot;] by [[w:Ray Didinger|Ray Didinger]] ([[w:Knight Ridder|Knight-Ridder]]), in ''The Chicago Tribune'' (August 17, 1986)

* Getting a hit off Koufax is like trying to eat soup with a fork.
** [[w:Willie Stargell|Willie Stargell]] as quoted in [https://news.google.com/newspapers?id=g0cqAAAAIBAJ&amp;sjid=Ok8EAAAAIBAJ&amp;pg=7601%2C3449012 &quot;Hit Koufax? Try Eating Soup With a Fork; Stargell Sums Up Defeat&quot;] by Les Biederman, in ''The Pittsburgh Press'' (June 26, 1965)

* Too bad about Koufax's arm. He can't shave. Or brush his hair. All he can do is pitch.
** [[w:Harry Walker|Harry Walker]], manager of the [[w:Pittsburgh Pirates|Pittsburgh Pirates]], commenting on the [[w:Los Angeles Dodgers|Dodgers']] 2-1 victory over [[w:St. Louis Cardinals|St. Louis]], which had reduced LA's  [[w:Magic number (sports)|magic number]] over the Pirates to two; as quoted in [https://news.google.com/newspapers?id=ir0bAAAAIBAJ&amp;sjid=VU8EAAAAIBAJ&amp;pg=5573%2C6670575 &quot;The Press Box—Sad Music for Walker: St. Louis Blues&quot;] by Roy McHugh, in ''The Pittsburgh Press'' (September 30, 1966)

* The Dodgers had us back for Jackie Robinson Day, and before the game started, we're up in the press box, and Rachel Robinson is there, and Jackie's son and daughter. The Dodgers were playing the Reds, and Sandy Koufax walks up and says '''&quot;Jerry, this is amazing. There's not one player on the Dodgers that is African-American.&quot;''' He said that it was sad that we're up there celebrating Jackie Robinson, but not much has changed.
** [[w:Jerry Royster|Jerry Royster]] on Koufax commenting about the decrease of African-American players in Major League Baseball back in 2019. Quoted in [https://www.milb.com/news/nine-questions-with-former-las-vegas-manager-and-mlb-veteran-jerry-royster-by-ro &quot;Nine Questions with Former Las Vegas Manager Jerry Royster&quot;] by Ron Kantowski in [https://www.milb.com MiLB.com] (February 23, 2023).

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Koufax, Sandy}}
[[Category:1935 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Baseball players from the United States]]
[[Category:Actors from New York City]]
[[Category:Jews from the United States]]
[[Category:National Baseball Hall of Fame inductees]]</text>
      <sha1>jo49q8o8edm4qs6kphz2ymwibjp054e</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944165</id>
      <parentid>3944164</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T11:32:23Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>GrimRob</username>
        <id>1187925</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Quotes about Koufax */  working link</comment>
      <origin>3944165</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="26171" sha1="2b969lnsk870bxq2t93oluylja5q1oy" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Sandy Koufax.jpg|thumb|right|Sure, nice guys can win — if they're nice guys with a lot of talent.]]
'''[[w:Sandy Koufax|Sandy Koufax]]''' (born '''Sanford Braun''' on [[30 December]] [[1935]]) is an American left-handed former pitcher in Major League Baseball who played his entire career for the Brooklyn/Los Angeles Dodgers, from 1955 to 1966.
__TOC__ 

==Quotes==
[[File:Sandy Koufax 1961.png|thumb|right|If you do a good job, the numbers say so. You don't have to ask anyone or play politics. You don't have to wait for the reviews.]]

*  What do I strive for? Well, I go out there with the idea of shooting for a no-hit game. When the first hit is made off me, I then try to keep them or any runs scored down to a minimum. The main idea is to win. As to strikeouts, yes. I am proud of my records. I'm not out there trying to blow down every hitter. There are too many smart ones in the league. I want to get them out first, strike them out if I can.
** As quoted in [http://www.mediafire.com/view/g4jn0gn075ca5w9/.jpg &quot;Sidelight on Sports: For Lack of an Offer&quot;] by Al Abrams, in ''The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette'' (June 6, 1962)

* The biggest thrill is the game where you give up one or two or three runs when you don't have anything, when you have no right even being out there, no reason to be out there. Those games are the difference between having a .500 year and a really great year. You figure, if you go out there 30 times, 15 times you're going to have great stuff and 15 times you're going to have mediocre stuff. If you can win a fair percentage of the games when you're mediocre, you're going to have a good year.
** As quoted in [https://www.si.com/vault/1965/12/20/607766/koufax-on-koufax &quot;Koufax on Koufax&quot;] ''Sports Illustrated'' (December 20, 1965)

* Well, I already have a fork ball, but it's not really another pitch. I use it instead of a change of pace. If I have a good fast ball and a good curve ball I hesitate to use anything else. But if they're not getting me by, I try to use anything I can, including the fork ball. [...] I don't know if I can throw any other pitches. I used to try the slider once in a while, and some other pitches, but since I had [[w:arthritis|this little problem with my elbow]] it seems like only my old standby pitches don't bother me. All the new stuff, like the slider or the others I used to try, it seems like they all hurt my arm.
** As quoted in [https://www.si.com/vault/1965/12/20/607766/koufax-on-koufax &quot;Koufax on Koufax&quot;]

* You know what happens? Somebody writes a story 10 years ago and it never changes. If the guy 10 years ago was wrong, the stories are gonna be wrong for 20 years afterward. [...] They used to annoy me a lot more, but now I've begun to feel they're going to be written, there's nothing I can do about it and I'm not going to worry about it. Sometimes things don't come out the way you say them. You run into one of those reporters who's more interested in the dictionary and the very good usage of the English language, and he thinks that when {{w|John Roseboro}} says cool it means [[wikt:aloof|cold]]. But you can't let it annoy you.
** As quoted in [https://www.si.com/vault/1965/12/20/607766/koufax-on-koufax &quot;Koufax on Koufax&quot;]

* At times it's a satisfaction and at times it's a little bit of an intrusion. You don't mind the kids. But sometimes their parents get to be...well, not bad about it, but they become demanding. The kids will ask, but the parents will demand sometimes. As long as somebody asks, I don't mind at all. But the ones who demand are tough on me. I've got so many bosses already I don't know if I can stand one or two more.
** On autograph seekers, as quoted in [https://www.si.com/vault/1965/12/20/607766/koufax-on-koufax &quot;Koufax on Koufax&quot;]

* People who write about spring training not being necessary have never tried to throw a baseball.
** As quoted in &quot;Sandy Began Slowly and Then Got Worse; At Tired Arm Stage&quot; by Charles Maher, in ''The Los Angeles Times'' (April 14, 1966)

*  I'll never know. I've never been in a fight. But I doubt whether pitching speed would have any significance. You can't go into a windup in the ring.
** As quoted in &quot;Stuart's Problem; Suppose Sandy Had Become a Boxer&quot; by Sid Ziff, in ''The Los Angeles Times'' (July 7, 1966)

*  I know I was faster 10 years ago. I think [[w:Jim Maloney|Jim Maloney]], [[w:Bob Veale|Bob Veale]], [[w:Bob Gibson|Bob Gibson]] and perhaps one or two others throw faster. In my best days I don't think I threw faster than [[w:Ryne Duren|Ryne Duren]]. He was the fastest I ever saw.
** As quoted in &quot;Stuart's Problem; Suppose Sandy Had Become a Boxer&quot;

* There were now men on first and second. The batter was [[Henry Aaron]]. I walked him on four straight balls, which was probably the smartest thing I did all year. There have been many times since when I wished I had been wild enough to walk Henry Aaron. I'm usually backing up third as I am wishing it.
** In [https://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&amp;tbm=bks&amp;q=%22It+was+probably+the+worst+thing+that+could+have+happened+to+me%22+intitle:Koufax&amp;num=10 ''Koufax''] (1966) by Koufax with Ed Linn, pp. 96-97

* It was probably the worst thing that could have happened to me, getting my first out by striking out a big hitter. Because that became my pattern for five years, trying to get out of trouble by throwing harder and harder and harder.
** In [https://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&amp;tbm=bks&amp;q=%22It+was+probably+the+worst+thing+that+could+have+happened+to+me%22+intitle:Koufax&amp;num=10 ''Koufax''] (1966), p. 97

* But in the end it all comes down to talent. You can talk all you want about intangibles, I just don't know what that means. Talent makes winners, not intangibles. Can nice guys win? '''Sure, nice guys can win — if they're nice guys with a lot of talent. Nice guys with a little talent finish fourth, and nice guys with no talent finish last.'''
** In [https://books.google.com/books?id=gUfhAAAAMAAJ&amp;q=%22nice+guys+with+no+talent+finish+last%22&amp;dq=%22nice+guys+with+no+talent+finish+last%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0ahUKEwjlju3KtZzhAhWkmOAKHVspAmoQ6AEILzAB ''Koufax''] (1966), p. 133; as quoted in &quot;Koufax writes: 'Sure nice guys can win'&quot; by Ed Rumill, ''The Christian Science Monitor'' (August 29, 1966) and ''Total Baseball : The Official Encyclopedia of Major League Baseball'' (2001) by John Thorn, p. 2468

* In 1960 I had made the transition from thrower to pitcher and had not understood that in making the transition I had made a beginning, not an end. you become a pitcher before you become a ''good'' pitcher. [...] Nor do I wish to testify under oath that I have not forgotten, do not—and will not—forget from time to time and revert to the wayward ways of my youth. It's usually when I'm tired or mad, but dumbness is not to be completely discounted either. In the 1965 All-Star Game I was terribly wild. I came into the game in the sixth inning and immediately threw seven straight balls. Although I got out of the inning, it was a struggle with every batter. [...] There was not a thing wrong with my arm. My arm was fine. My head was something else again. Knowing that I was only going to pitch an inning or two, I had thought, &quot;Well, hell, I'll just go in and throw as hard as I can.&quot; And there I was, right back where I'd been ten years ago, wild high.
** In [https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&amp;ei=gcKYXLjbLuHc5gKJk4CwBQ&amp;q=%22Knowing+that+I+was+only+going+to+pitch+an+inning+or+two+i+had+thought%22+intitle%3AKoufax&amp;oq=%22Knowing+that+I+was+only+going+to+pitch+an+inning+or+two+i+had+thought%22+intitle%3AKoufax&amp;gs_l=psy-ab.12...51144.54771.0.56735.14.14.0.0.0.0.79.1027.14.14.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..0.0.0....0.CikSPCk1U9s ''Koufax''] (1966), p. 157

* [[Roberto Clemente]] hit an outside fastball that was still rising when it hit against the light tower in left center field, 450 feet away from home plate. And on a 1-2 pitch at that.  But there is no such thing as a good pitch to Clemente. Ask me how to pitch to Clemente, and I will tell you with complete confidence, &quot;How do I know?&quot; Roberto can hit any pitch, anywhere, at any time. He'll hit pitchouts, he'll hit brush-back pitches. He'll hit high, inside pitches deep to the opposite field, which would be ridiculous even if he didn't do it with both feet off the ground.
** In [https://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&amp;tbm=bks&amp;q=%22clemente+hit+an+outside+fastball+that+was+still+rising%22+intitle:Koufax&amp;num=10 ''Koufax''] (1966), p. 220

* It is a curious thing that while a home-run hitter is expected to fatten up in the routs, and the pitchers are certainly not supposed to let up, the opposing team becomes furious when a base is stolen after a game is apparently out of reach. Particularly the manager. The theory seems to be that the stolen base is somehow extraneous to the game, that it is an extra effort, a thumbing of the nose. Not on ''our'' team it isn't. Stealing bases ''is'' [[w:Maury Wills|Maury]]'s game, and—to a sometimes alarming extent—it was the Dodgers' offense. Maury's game is to get the other team upset, to get them into a frame of mind where they are so eager ''not'' to let him show them up that the catcher throws the ball too hastily and the fielder rushes his tag. Result: the hasty throw is off the mark and the infielder neglects to wait for the ball. Maury's game is called Panic!
** In [https://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&amp;tbm=bks&amp;q=%22clemente+hit+an+outside+fastball+that+was+still+rising%22+intitle:Koufax&amp;num=10 ''Koufax''] (1966), p. 246

* Maury had been made captain in the first week of spring training, a title which usually entitles its bearer to carry the lineup card to the umpires and draw an extra $500 on his salary. Maury took it seriously, and his leadership had a strong, cohesive effect. [...] Maury has become a dominant figure in our locker room. He has come to believe that there is nothing he cannot do if he sets his mind to it. There is something almost mystical in his belief in himself, especially when you remember that he came to us after nine full years in the minors with all the uncertainties of the fringe player hoping to hold on.
** In [https://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&amp;tbm=bks&amp;q=%22clemente+hit+an+outside+fastball+that+was+still+rising%22+intitle:Koufax&amp;num=10 ''Koufax''] (1966), p. 246

*  '''I don't regret one minute of the twelve years I've spent in baseball, but I could regret one season too many.''' [...] I've got a lot of years to live after baseball and I would like to live them with complete use of my body.
** 1966 press conference announcing retirement, as quoted by UPI, in [https://newspaperarchive.com/pittsfield-berkshire-eagle-nov-19-1966-p-30/ &quot;Sandy Koufax Announces Retirement from Baseball at News Meeting&quot;] by Alex Kahn (UPI), in ''The Pittsfield Berkshire Eagle'' (November 19, 1966)

* I don’t know if cortisone is good for you or not. But to take a shot every other ball game is more than I wanted to do and to walk around with a constant upset stomach because of the pills and to be high half the time during a ball game because you’re taking painkillers … I don’t want to have to do that [...] '''I don't regret one minute of the last 12 years but I think I would regret the one year that was too many.'''
** Excerpts from 1966 press conference, in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ouIk6RvUl8 ''Baseball: 8th Inning – A Whole New Ballgame''] (1994) by [[w:Ken Burns|Ken Burns]], [[w:Geoffrey C. Ward|Geoffrey C. Ward]]

* [[Willie Mays|Mays]] always told me how hard it was to get a hit off me and every time I looked up, he was on second base. Yet, even with Mays, I had an idea what to do. When I pitched to [[Roberto Clemente|Clemente]] and [[Hank Aaron|Aaron]], I had no idea. They seemed to hit everything.
** As quoted in &quot;Koufax Still a Champion&quot; by Les Biederman, in ''The Pittsburgh Press'' (May 8, 1967)

* If I could straighten it out, I'd be pitching at Dodger Stadium tonight instead of playing golf.
** After being admonished to &quot;get that left arm all the way round [and] straighten it out&quot; by [[w:Omni_La_Costa_Resort_and_Spa|La Costa Resort]]'s golf pro; as quoted in &quot;How Red the Rose&quot; by John Hall, in &quot;The Los Angeles Times&quot; (May 15, 1968)

* '''The only time I really try for a strikeout is when I'm in a jam.''' If the bases are loaded with none out, for example, then I'll go for a strikeout. But most of the time I try to throw to spots. I try to get them to pop up or ground out. On a strikeout I might have to throw five or six pitches, sometimes more if there are foul-offs. That tires me. So I just try to get outs. That's what counts — outs. You win with outs, not strikeouts.
** As quoted by Jack Orr (former ''{{w|Philadelphia Daily News}}'' sportswriter who had since become managing editor at ''[[w:Billboard (magazine)|Billboard]]''), in ''My Greatest Day in Baseball'' (1968) by John P. Carmichael, and ''Baseball's Greatest Quotations : An Illustrated Treasury'' (2008) by Paul Dickson, p. 302

* Last year wasn't [[w:Tom Seaver|Seaver]]'s kind of year, but he's still an impressive pitcher, still strong. Like [[w:Denny McLain|McLain]], [[w:Juan Marichal|Marichal]] and [[w:Bob Gibson|Gibson]], he has the good stuff and control. I mean he can make an excellent fastball or curve and throw it in good spots. '''A guy who throws what he intends to throw—that's the definition of a good pitcher.'''
** As quoted in &quot;Gibson, Marichal Top Koufax's Dream Team; [http://www.mediafire.com/view/bd0ze7jbk2ptnwa/Article_3_--_No_Title_Incompl.jpg Koufax Picks 11&quot;] by Bob Oates, ''Los Angeles Times'' (March 31, 1971), Pt. III, pp. [http://www.mediafire.com/view/cd9joqgvce7cegu/Gibson%2C_Marichal_Top_Koufax's_.jpghttp://www.mediafire.com/view/cd9joqgvce7cegu/Gibson%2C_Marichal_Top_Koufax's_.jpg 1], 6

* '''Pitching is the art of instilling fear''', making the man flinch by making him look for the wrong pitch. You're trying to control his instincts. But if your control is suspect like [[w:Nolan Ryan|Ryan]]'s is, and the thought of being hit is in the batter's mind, you'll go a long way.
** As quoted in &quot;Baseball's Exorcist Striking Out to New Horizons; Batter's Fear Helps Ryan Blaze Lay [sic] to Major League Record&quot; by Jackie Lapin, in ''The Washington Post'' (September 1, 1974)

* I became a good pitcher when I stopped trying to make them miss the ball and started trying to make them hit it.
** As quote in &quot;Quote... : Father knows best; Soviet hindsight; Life in the NBA: Koufax strategy,&quot; ''The Christian Science Monitor'' (June 24, 1976), p.&amp;nbsp;11

* '''The game has a cleanness. If you do a good job, the numbers say so. You don't have to ask anyone or play politics. You don't have to wait for the reviews.'''
** As quoted in [https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/politics/1979/03/21/koufax/3139f66f-996a-485f-8cce-8f7671152136/?utm_term=.174cfc71ede2 &quot;Koufax: Hall of Famer Back in Baseball After Years of 'Wandering'&quot;] by Thomas Boswell, in ''The Washington Post'' (March 21, 1979)

* Show me a guy who can't pitch inside and I'll show you a loser.
** As quoted in [https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1981/05/04/one-hard-way-to-make-a-living &quot;One Hard Way to Make a Living&quot;] by Roger Angell, in ''The New Yorker'' (May 4, 1981), p. 96; reprinted in ''Late Innings'' (1982) by Roger Angell, p. 358

* You've got to be lucky to pitch a no-hitter, and if you have good stuff, it's easier to be lucky.
** Speaking on July 1, 1990, at [[w:Dodger Stadium|Chavez Ravine]], in reference to a no-hitter thrown there just two days before by the [[w:Los Angeles Dodgers|Dodgers']] {{w|Fernando Valuenzela}} (and, coincidentally, just hours before the [[w:New York Yankees|Yankees']] {{w|Andy Hawkins}} would, thanks to three 8th-inning Bomber miscues, [[w:No-hitter#Nine-inning_no-hitters_in_a_losing_effort|famously record a 4-0, complete-game loss]] to [[w:Chicago White Sox|Chicago]], despite giving up no hits ); as quoted in [https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1990-07-02-sp-474-story.html &quot;Notes on a Scorecard&quot;] by Allan Malamud, in ''The Los Angeles Times'' (July 2, 1990)

* I was known for my [[w:fastball|fastball]] and [[w:curveball|curve]] and did well with just those two pitches, but people don't know that I tried to add a third pitch, any third pitch. For a long time, I tried to learn the [[w:changeup|changeup]]. The Dodgers taught the changeup in a certain way - it was the Dodgers' changeup - and I tried to learn it for ten years but never got the hang of it. I never liked my changeup, and I never wanted to throw it. One day, I was playing catch and started to fool around with the [[w:forkball|forkball]], and it felt more comfortable to me. I said, &quot;Well, I'm gonna try this instead of the changeup.&quot; So I started to throw it, but I only used it occasionally in games, because I didn't throw it hard enough.{{paragraph break}}I also threw the [[w:slider|slider]] a couple of times. I threw the slider to Henry Aaron and Roberto Clemente, because I figured if it worked on those two great hitters, then I had something there. So I threw it to Aaron and almost hit him in the face. He reached out to get it, and it came right at him. And I threw it to Clemente. You may remember that in [[w:Forbes Field|Forbes Field]] in Pittsburgh, there was a light tower by where they used to park the batting cage. Halfway up. there was a bunch of transformers. Well, Clemente hit it off a transformer. I said, &quot;Well, maybe I don't have a slider,&quot; and I gave it up. So, I never came up with a third pitch.
** Interview on ''[[w:The Tim McCarver Show|The Tim McCarver Show]]'', talking about on his efforts to find a third pitch; as quoted in  ''Tim McCarver's Diamond Gems'' (2006), [https://archive.org/details/timmccarversdiam0000unse/page/224/mode/2up pp.&amp;nbsp;224-225]

== Quotes about Koufax ==
* Sandy Koufax. Sandy was a special problem for me because he possessed exceptional control, speed and a great curve ball. He was highly disciplined, extremely committed and a very private person. These qualities enabled him to concentrate on his profession without a lot of unnecessary distractions.
**[[Ernie Banks]], responding to the question, &quot;Who was the toughest pitcher you faced during your career, and why was he a special problem for you?&quot;; as quoted in &quot;Hall of Famers Name Their Toughest Diamond Foes&quot; by William Guilfoile, in ''The 1991 National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum Yearbook''; reprinted in ''Baseball Digest'' (August 1992), p. 28

* He's the greatest pitcher I ever saw. I can still see that big curveball. It had a great arc on it, and he never bounced it in the dirt. Sandy's curve had a lot more spin than anybody else's -- it spun like a fastball coming out of his hand -- and he had the fastball of a pure strikeout pitcher. It jumped up at the end. The batter would swing half a foot under it. Most of the time we knew what was coming, because he held his hands closer to his head when he threw a curveball, but it didn't matter. Even though he was tipping off his pitches, you still couldn't hit him.
**[[Ernie Banks]], as quoted in [https://www.si.com/mlb/2014/08/29/sandy-koufax-dodgers-left-arm-god-si-60 &quot;The Left Arm of God: Sandy Koufax was more than just a perfect pitcher&quot;] by Tom Verducci, in ''Sports Illustrated'' (July 12, 1999) 

* You can learn a lot about the problems of [[journalism]] by studying the printed record of the life of Sandy Koufax. As far as I am concerned, nobody since {{w|Rudolph Valentino}} ever had as many myths, legends and pure balderdash written about him as Sandy. The reason is simple: Sandy is a warm, friendly, honest, intelligent human being, one of the finest human beings I have ever known, but the truth is he was never very colorful. In an age when self-promotion has been raised to a fine art, Sandy mastered the fine art of quiet effectiveness. He spoke clearly and briefly, and he did not go into lurid details about how he struck out this batter with a clever fast ball on the inside corner when the batter had been expecting a slider, or how he crossed up the offense by swinging away in the eighth inning when they were expecting him to bunt, or how he expected to win even more games next year, or how he intended to murder them in the World Series with his high hard ones. A {{w|Billy Loes}} he was not. And as far as his private life was concerned, Sandy kept that completely personal and confidential.
** {{w|Buzzie Bavasi}}, [https://prabook.com/web/sandy.koufax/1710071 &quot;The Great Holdout,&quot;] ''Sports Illustrated'' (May 15, 1967)

* I'll always remember that first pitch. It was a fastball that looked like it would hit the dirt in front of the plate. Then, all of a sudden, it rose for a knee-high strike. '''As soon as I saw that fastball, the hair raised up on my arms. The only other time the hair on my arms ever raised up was in Rome when I saw [[Michelangelo]]'s paintings on the ceiling of the [[w:Sistine Chapel|Sistine Chapel]]'''.
** [[w:Al Campanis|Al Campanis]], speaking with reporters in January 1979, regarding Koufax's first tryout with the Dodgers, in which Campanis served as a simulated batter, with coach [[w:Rube Walker|Rube Walker]] catching; as quoted in [http://articles.chicagotribune.com/1986-08-17/sports/8603010884_1_cary-grant-sandy-koufax-no-hitter/2 &quot;There Are Players, And Stars--and Koufax&quot;] by [[w:Ray Didinger|Ray Didinger]] ([[w:Knight Ridder|Knight-Ridder]]), in ''The Chicago Tribune'' (August 17, 1986); and paraphrased and quoted in [https://www.nytimes.com/1979/01/28/archives/sandy-koufax-and-the-sistine-chapel-sports-of-the-times.html &quot;Sandy Koufax and the Sistine Chapel&quot;] by [[w:Dave Anderson|Dave Anderson]] in ''The New York Times'' (January 28, 1979)

* It's no disgrace to get beat by class.
** [[w:Bob Hendley|Bob Hendley]], the losing Chicago Cubs pitcher in [[w:Sandy Koufax's perfect game|Koufax's perfect game]], after Koufax sent him a gift to commemorate the 35th anniversary of the game — a 1965 NL baseball signed, &quot;What a game!&quot; plus a small handwritten note: &quot;We had a moment, a night, a career. I hope life has been good to you. Sandy.&quot; Hendley himself pitched a one-hitter in the game, allowing one unearned run. ''American Jews and America's Game: Voices of a Growing Legacy in Baseball'', p. 17

* We need just two players to be a contender. Just Babe Ruth and Sandy Koufax.
** [[w:Whitey Herzog|Whitey Herzog]], critiquing the 1973 [[w:Texas Rangers|Texas Rangers]] prior to being replaced, in season, as Rangers manager by [[Billy Martin]]; as quoted in [https://books.google.com/books?id=42gNAQAAMAAJ&amp;q=herzog+%22babe+ruth+and+sandy+koufax%22&amp;dq=herzog+%22babe+ruth+and+sandy+koufax%22&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0ahUKEwjqtNTYs__QAhWDKyYKHW7iBCkQ6AEILTAD ''Total Baseball''] (2001) by John Thorn, p. 2468

* It sounded like somebody firing a pistol in a canyon . . . pow, pow, pow. That was the sound of the fastball popping [[w:Rube Walker|Rube]]'s mitt in that empty ballpark. We all came in to watch this kid.
** [[w:Tommy Lasorda|Tommy Lasorda]], on Koufax's first tryout with the Dodgers, as witnessed by Lasorda and several other Dodger pitchers, who were jogging in the outfield at the time; as quoted in [http://articles.chicagotribune.com/1986-08-17/sports/8603010884_1_cary-grant-sandy-koufax-no-hitter/2 &quot;There Are Players, And Stars--and Koufax&quot;] by [[w:Ray Didinger|Ray Didinger]] ([[w:Knight Ridder|Knight-Ridder]]), in ''The Chicago Tribune'' (August 17, 1986)

* If there was one game I had to win and I could pick any pitcher in any era, I'd pick Sandy. I'd sit in the bullpen and watch him paint that outside corner with a 95 mile-per-hour fastball and throw curves that looked like they were dropping out of the third deck. I'd think, &quot;I'm gonna relieve this guy? With my stuff?&quot;
** [[w:Ron Perranoski|Ron Perranoski]], as quoted in [http://articles.chicagotribune.com/1986-08-17/sports/8603010884_1_cary-grant-sandy-koufax-no-hitter/2 &quot;There Are Players, And Stars--and Koufax&quot;] by [[w:Ray Didinger|Ray Didinger]] ([[w:Knight Ridder|Knight-Ridder]]), in ''The Chicago Tribune'' (August 17, 1986)

* Getting a hit off Koufax is like trying to eat soup with a fork.
** [[w:Willie Stargell|Willie Stargell]] as quoted in [https://news.google.com/newspapers?id=g0cqAAAAIBAJ&amp;sjid=Ok8EAAAAIBAJ&amp;pg=7601%2C3449012 &quot;Hit Koufax? Try Eating Soup With a Fork; Stargell Sums Up Defeat&quot;] by Les Biederman, in ''The Pittsburgh Press'' (June 26, 1965)

* Too bad about Koufax's arm. He can't shave. Or brush his hair. All he can do is pitch.
** [[w:Harry Walker|Harry Walker]], manager of the [[w:Pittsburgh Pirates|Pittsburgh Pirates]], commenting on the [[w:Los Angeles Dodgers|Dodgers']] 2-1 victory over [[w:St. Louis Cardinals|St. Louis]], which had reduced LA's  [[w:Magic number (sports)|magic number]] over the Pirates to two; as quoted in [https://news.google.com/newspapers?id=ir0bAAAAIBAJ&amp;sjid=VU8EAAAAIBAJ&amp;pg=5573%2C6670575 &quot;The Press Box—Sad Music for Walker: St. Louis Blues&quot;] by Roy McHugh, in ''The Pittsburgh Press'' (September 30, 1966)

* The Dodgers had us back for Jackie Robinson Day, and before the game started, we're up in the press box, and Rachel Robinson is there, and Jackie's son and daughter. The Dodgers were playing the Reds, and Sandy Koufax walks up and says '''&quot;Jerry, this is amazing. There's not one player on the Dodgers that is African-American.&quot;''' He said that it was sad that we're up there celebrating Jackie Robinson, but not much has changed.
** [[w:Jerry Royster|Jerry Royster]] on Koufax commenting about the decrease of African-American players in Major League Baseball back in 2019. Quoted in [https://www.milb.com/news/nine-questions-with-former-las-vegas-manager-and-mlb-veteran-jerry-royster-by-ro &quot;Nine Questions with Former Las Vegas Manager Jerry Royster&quot;] by Ron Kantowski in [https://www.milb.com MiLB.com] (February 23, 2023).

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Koufax, Sandy}}
[[Category:1935 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Baseball players from the United States]]
[[Category:Actors from New York City]]
[[Category:Jews from the United States]]
[[Category:National Baseball Hall of Fame inductees]]</text>
      <sha1>2b969lnsk870bxq2t93oluylja5q1oy</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Spice World</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>37599</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944126</id>
      <parentid>3943373</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T07:12:53Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-22475-30</username>
        <id>3310494</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <origin>3944126</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="12587" sha1="rw8r15k0v39wugxucx6ur945w9oiyd1" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Spice World (film)|Spice World]]''''' is a [[w:1997 in film|1997 film]] about the Spice Girls and their entourage (mostly fictional characters) - manager Clifford, his assistant Deborah, filmmaker Piers (who is trying to shoot a documentary on “the real Spice Girls”) and others in their everyday life.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Geri''': Okay, Horoscopes!
:'''Emma''': You know, I don't believe in star signs.
:'''Geri''': You see, you wouldn’t because you’re an Aquarian, and Aquarians don’t believe in anything.
:'''Emma''': Now I don’t believe that either.
:'''Mel B''': Oh, no! I can’t find my boots! I think I’ve lost them.
:'''Victoria''': It’s always the same. I never know what to wear.
:'''Mel C''': It must be so hard for you, Victoria. I mean, having to decide whether to wear the little Gucci dress, the little Gucci dress, or…the little Gucci dress!
:'''Victoria''': Exactly.
:'''Emma''': I know, why don’t you wear the little Gucci dress?
:'''Victoria''': That’s a good idea. Thanks, Em. 
:'''Mel B''': ''(Later on she finds them on Geri’s feet.)'' HA! THERE THEY ARE!
:'''Geri''': What?
:'''Mel B''': My boots, Geri! You’re wearing my boots!
:'''Geri''': Oh yeah, I don’t know how that happened.
:'''Mel B''': Typical. Typical Leo that is isn’t? Borrowing stuff without even asking me.
:'''Geri''': No, that’s Capricorns.
:'''Mel C''': Oi. Don’t even start on the Capricorns.
:'''Mel B''': That’s it. You’ve had it.
:'''Geri''': Alright, HAVE THEM BACK!
:'''Mel B''': NO, I DON’T WANT THEM ANYMORE! ''(playfully fighting and commotion, then Mel C and Emma jumps in.)''
:'''Victoria''': EXCUSE ME!!!
:'''All''': WHAT?
:'''Victoria''': ''(holding up yet another Gucci dress)'' What do you guys think of this one?
:'''All''': Great. ''(continues Play fighting and commotion.)''
----
:'''Piers''': What I want to do with this documentary is show the real Spice Girls. You know, I want to break through the show business side. I want to crash right through it, and reveal the truth.
:'''Clifford''': Well, that’s fine. Just as long as you crash through the showbiz facade on schedule. Don’t get in anybody’s way.
:'''Piers''': Yes, well, a smile costs nothing.
----
:'''Geri''': How my Gloria get her clothes so dirty, I’ll never know. Bless her.
:'''Emma''': Oh. My poor back.
:'''Mel B''': I don’t know how you can have any more of them kids. You got six already, haven’t ya?
:'''Emma''': Is it six?
:'''Mel B''': Mmm.
:'''Emma''': Yeah, but they’re so cute when they’re little. Then they grow up to be real little bleeders.
:'''Victoria''': Thank god for boarding school. I only see mine once a month.
:'''Mel C''': Our Terry goes to me…
:'''Victoria''': Cheers.
:'''Mel C''': He goes “Ma, I wanna be a singer.” I said “Listen, lad, go to college, get yourself a proper job.” Does he listen? No.
:'''Mel B''': They never do, though, do they? I mean, you know…
:'''Geri''': Darling. Kids today just don’t know how…
:'''All''': Lucky they are. ''(Music Blares Up)''
:'''Geri''': Brucey! Demi! Will you turn that bloody racket down?
----
:'''Geri''': Check.
:'''Mel B''': What do you mean, check?
:'''Geri''': I mean check. My bishop’s got your king.
:'''Mel B''': Where?
:'''Geri''': There! You’ve either got to move it in front, or move it out of the way.
:'''Mel B''': All right, well, I’ll move that fairground horse to there. Sort that out.
:'''Geri''': You can’t '''do''' that.
:'''Mel B''': Says who?
:'''Geri''': Says Mr. Chess. It’s been in the rules for thousands of years.
:'''Mel B''': Well, I’m gonna break the rules, and set this little fairground horse free amongst all these little square fields like that. There!
:'''Geri''': I’m gonna slap you in a minute.
----
:'''Man on Radio''': Well, that was the Spice Girls. If you want tickets to their first ever live gig, tough luck. You’re too late. But they’re with me now on Surgery. So here they are. Welcome, girls! There’s Sporty, Scary…
:'''All''': Turn it off.
:'''Mel B''': All right, I will.
:'''Man on Radio''': So Emma, come on, what’s it like to be Baby Spice?
:'''Emma''': You know, I’m always gonna be seen as Baby Spice, you know, the sweet and innocent one, even when I’m 30?
:'''Victoria''': You love it really, Emma. You play up to it all the time.
:'''Emma''': No, I don’t.
:'''Victoria''': Yes, you do. You’re doing it now.
:'''Emma''': I’m not!
:'''Mel B''': ''(giggles)''
:'''Mel C''': You see, the thing about you, Emma, is you’ve got this dead cute little smile, so you can get away with anything.
----
:'''Spice Girls''': We’re the Spice Girls, yes indeed. Just Girl Power is all we need. We know how we got this far…
:'''Geri''': Strength and courage and a Wonderbra!
:'''Spice Girls''': Would this work with only one?
:'''Emma''': Just with me, I’d have no fun.
:'''Spice Girls''': Would this work with only two?
:'''Mel B''': We need more for what we do.
:'''Spice Girls''': Would this work with only three?
:'''Mel C''': Three’s a crowd, bad company.
:'''Spice Girls''': Would this work with only four?
:'''Victoria''': No way, girls, we need one more!
:'''Spice Girls''': Listen up, take my advice - we need five for the power of Spice. Give it up, give it out, take a stand, scream and shout! One, two, three, four, five - Spice Girls!  One, two, three, four, five - Spice Girls!
----
:'''Geri''': Did you '''know''', that the largest fish in the world is the manta ray?
:'''Victoria''': And then there’s the little '''ginger''' one, that is full of '''useless''' information, about '''manta rays'''!
----
:'''Mel B''': I’m dying for the loo.
:'''Emma''': Yes. So am I.
:'''Geri''': Clifford, can we stop the bus?
:'''Clifford''': Dennis, pull over. We’ve got a crisis. The girls need to go to the bathroom again!
''(Dennis pulls over so the Girls need to go to the bathroom)''
:'''Geri''': I’m bursting to go wee.
:'''Mel C''': Move! Move!
:'''Mel B''': ''(roars)'' Geri, I’ve borrowed your shoes.
:'''Victoria''': Mind the spider!
:'''Deborah''': You see? Doesn’t matter how successful you are, sometimes you have to pee in the woods.
:'''Clifford''': I don’t understand how all the toilets can break down at the same time.
:'''Dennis''': It’s not my fault they keep breaking down. Listen, it’s hard enough to get a plumber to come to your house and that stays in one place. But you try calling one out to a bus that’s moving around the countryside. It’s impossible.
:'''Clifford''': Isn’t there something that you can do about them?
:'''Dennis''': Like what?
:'''Clifford''': Fix them!
:'''Dennis''': Listen. I love these girls, and I’ll do anything for them. But I won’t do that.
----
''(The Girls are walking through the woods at night looking for a place to pee)''
:'''Emma''': I don’t want to go any further. I’m scared!
:'''Victoria''': Why does the countryside have to be so bloody muddy?
:'''Mel B''': You know what? Something just brushed past me and I’m not joking.
:'''Geri''': It was only a disgusting beast that wants to eat you.
:'''Mel B''': Oh!
''(A loud noise is heard)''
:'''Mel C''': Oh, pack it in, Mel! 
:'''Mel B''': It wasn’t me!
:'''Geri''': I think we’re lost, you know.
:'''Mel B''': Spiders are everywhere. Whose idea was this?
''(Suddenly, a HUGE gust of wind blows in, followed by a bright light)''
:'''Mel C''': WHAT’S THAT?!
''(The source of both turns out to be a UFO heading for the terrified Girls)''
:'''Geri''': OH, MY GOD! RUN FOR IT!!
:'''Emma''': I CAN’T MOVE!!
''(The UFO lands, and out come four short aliens in green coats)''
:'''Alien #1''': ''(in alien language)'' It’s them! It’s them! Look! 
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' Are you sure?
:'''Alien #1''': ''(in alien language)'' Yes! There’s the little blonde one. 
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' That’s what you said before, and it was a sheep! 
''(One of the aliens reaches for Mel B’s chest and she swats his hand)''
:'''Mel B''': OI, GET OFF! 
:'''Mel C''': And now, you’ve done it now! 
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' I told you, shake HANDS!
:'''Mel B''': Geri, go and say something to them.
:'''Victoria''': Say something.
:'''Mel C''': Go on. Say something good, Geri.
:'''Geri''': What do you want with us? 
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' Are you the Spice Girls?
:'''Girls''': Yes. 
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' Can we have tickets for your Albert Hall gig? 
:'''Emma''': I’m really sorry, but they’ve all sold out. 
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' I told you we should’ve booked early! 
''(Alien #1 holds out a notepad)''
:'''Mel C''': What’s that? What is it? 
:'''Alien #1''': ''(in alien language)'' Can I have your autograph? It’s not for me, it’s for my brother. 
:'''Mel C''': What’s his name? 
:'''Alien #1''': ''(in alien language)'' Krtkkarphillmuk.
:'''Mel C''': Is that with 3 or 4 K’s?
:'''Emma''': It’s 4. 
''(The 4th alien opens his coat)''
:'''Alien #4''': ''(in alien language)'' Could you sign this please, Posh?
:'''Mel C''': There you go.
:'''Victoria''': Oh gosh, you’re fat.
:'''Alien #1''': ''(in alien language)'' Give us a kiss, Ginger one! 
:'''Emma''': Eww, he wants you to snog him.
:'''Mel C''': He wants you, G.
:'''Girls''': Ew!
''(The other Girls recoil in disgust while Geri kisses the aliens)''
:'''Alien #1''': ''(in alien language)'' YIPPEE! 
:'''Emma''': Ugh! They want a picture, now?
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' Say “khttttyakkk!”
''(He takes a picture of the Girls w/ the aliens; cut back to the Spicebus)''
:'''Clifford''': What do you mean, aliens? 
:'''Mel C''': You know, aliens from outer space. 
:'''Emma''': They had these little squidgy faces.
:'''Girls''': Yeah.
:'''Victoria''': And really cheap green coats.
:'''Clifford''': You’re obviously under massive stress. I think you need some time off.
----
:'''Mr. Step''': I know. I’ve seen your videos! Hahahahahaha!
----
:'''Victoria''': ''(after the girls hear noises in the night and after running into each other and scaring themselves, seek refuge in Victoria’s room)'' It’s pathetic, you know, that we can’t even sleep in our own rooms.
:'''Mel C''': Yeah, I don’t know what we’re making such a fuss for, it’s only an old house.
:'''Victoria''': A big old house.
:'''Emma''': ''(very scared)'' A big old scary haunted, big old house.
:'''Mel B''': Well, I had this horrible dream last night. I dreamt we were all doing the live show, and I went on the stage. And I was just about to open my gob, and nowt came out. But something even more weird happened. I realized, right?
:'''Mel C''': You didn’t have a head?
:'''All''': Yeah. How did you know?
:'''Mel C''': I had exactly the same dream.
:'''Mel B''': No way. No.
:'''Victoria''': I had exactly the same dream, but mine was much, much worse. Well, you see, I had a head, but there was no make-up on it.
:'''Geri''': Oh, no.
:'''Emma''': I just don’t understand. So, what does it all mean?
:'''Geri''': Probably our subconscious minds, so we don’t have to deal with our anxieties when we’re awake.
:'''Mel B''': Like we’re all gonna be scared of this live show.
:'''Emma''': And that we might not be able to sing.
:'''Mel C''': And it’s gonna be a complete disaster.
:'''Victoria''': Oh, no.
:'''Emma''': Let’s just stay here together.
:'''Mel C''': Yeah. Squash up. I’m going to sleep now.
:'''Mel B''': I am. See ya.
----
:'''Clifford''': ''(after they have a fall into the Thames)'' Look at this! Front page news again. Suppose the whole lot you had been drowned?
:'''Geri''': Well we weren’t though, were we?
:'''Victoria''': Speak for yourself. 
:'''Clifford''': What do you think you were doing, going off like that?
:'''Mel B''': We were just having fun!
:'''Clifford''': What?!
:'''Emma''': You know, fun? Like, “Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!”
----
:'''Kevin McMaxford''': Something’s happening to me. What is it?
:'''Brian''': You’re smiling, sir.
----
''(As the Spice Girls are performing “Spice Up Your Life”)''
:'''Martin Barnfield''': Gonna make this movie? Have we got a deal?
:'''Clifford''': We’ve got a deal. Yes!

== Taglines ==
* They perform for royalty and entertain millions the world over. But now, they’re making a movie.
* You say you want a revolution?
* They Don’t Just Sing!
* Five girls. Five days. One rocking world!

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:1997 films]]
[[Category:1990s English-language films]]
[[Category:Films about musical groups]]</text>
      <sha1>rw8r15k0v39wugxucx6ur945w9oiyd1</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944127</id>
      <parentid>3944126</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T07:19:26Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-22475-30</username>
        <id>3310494</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <origin>3944127</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="12593" sha1="dms5buw3ptg3mrojs7lulkvsojbrcmo" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Spice World (film)|Spice World]]''''' is a [[w:1997 in film|1997 film]] about the Spice Girls and their entourage (mostly fictional characters) - manager Clifford, his assistant Deborah, filmmaker Piers (who is trying to shoot a documentary on “the real Spice Girls”) and others in their everyday life.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Geri''': Okay, Horoscopes!
:'''Emma''': You know, I don't believe in star signs.
:'''Geri''': You see, you wouldn’t because you’re an Aquarian, and Aquarians don’t believe in anything.
:'''Emma''': Now I don’t believe that either.
:'''Mel B''': Oh, no! I can’t find my boots! I think I’ve lost them.
:'''Victoria''': It’s always the same. I never know what to wear.
:'''Mel C''': It must be so hard for you, Victoria. I mean, having to decide whether to wear the little Gucci dress, the little Gucci dress, or…the little Gucci dress!
:'''Victoria''': Exactly.
:'''Emma''': I know, why don’t you wear the little Gucci dress?
:'''Victoria''': That’s a good idea. Thanks, Em. 
:'''Mel B''': ''(Later on she finds them on Geri’s feet.)'' HA! THERE THEY ARE!
:'''Geri''': What?
:'''Mel B''': My boots, Geri! You’re wearing my boots!
:'''Geri''': Oh yeah, I don’t know how that happened.
:'''Mel B''': Typical. Typical Leo that is isn’t? Borrowing stuff without even asking me.
:'''Geri''': No, that’s Capricorns.
:'''Mel C''': Oi. Don’t even start on the Capricorns.
:'''Mel B''': That’s it. You’ve had it.
:'''Geri''': Alright, HAVE THEM BACK!
:'''Mel B''': NO, I DON’T WANT THEM ANYMORE! ''(playfully fighting and commotion, then Mel C and Emma jumps in.)''
:'''Victoria''': EXCUSE ME!!!
:'''All''': WHAT?
:'''Victoria''': ''(holding up yet another Gucci dress)'' What do you guys think of this one?
:'''All''': Great. ''(continues Play fighting and commotion.)''
----
:'''Piers''': What I want to do with this documentary is show the real Spice Girls. You know, I want to break through the show business side. I want to crash right through it, and reveal the truth.
:'''Clifford''': Well, that’s fine. Just as long as you crash through the showbiz facade on schedule. Don’t get in anybody’s way.
:'''Piers''': Yes, well, a smile costs nothing.
----
:'''Geri''': How my Gloria get her clothes so dirty, I’ll never know. Bless her.
:'''Emma''': Oh. My poor back.
:'''Mel B''': I don’t know how you can have any more of them kids. You got six already, haven’t ya?
:'''Emma''': Is it six?
:'''Mel B''': Mmm.
:'''Emma''': Yeah, but they’re so cute when they’re little. Then they grow up to be real little bleeders.
:'''Victoria''': Thank god for boarding school. I only see mine once a month.
:'''Mel C''': Our Terry goes to me…
:'''Victoria''': Cheers.
:'''Mel C''': He goes “Ma, I wanna be a singer.” I said “Listen, lad, go to college, get yourself a proper job.” Does he listen? No.
:'''Mel B''': They never do, though, do they? I mean, you know…
:'''Geri''': Darling. Kids today just don’t know how…
:'''All''': Lucky they are. ''(Music Blares Up)''
:'''Geri''': Brucey! Demi! Will you turn that bloody racket down?
----
:'''Geri''': Check.
:'''Mel B''': What do you mean, check?
:'''Geri''': I mean check. My bishop’s got your king.
:'''Mel B''': Where?
:'''Geri''': There! You’ve either got to move it in front, or move it out of the way.
:'''Mel B''': All right, well, I’ll move that fairground horse to there. Sort that out.
:'''Geri''': You can’t '''do''' that.
:'''Mel B''': Says who?
:'''Geri''': Says Mr. Chess. It’s been in the rules for thousands of years.
:'''Mel B''': Well, I’m gonna break the rules, and set this little fairground horse free amongst all these little square fields like that. There!
:'''Geri''': I’m gonna slap you in a minute.
----
:'''Man on Radio''': Well, that was the Spice Girls. If you want tickets to their first ever live gig, tough luck. You’re too late. But they’re with me now on Surgery. So here they are. Welcome, girls! There’s Sporty, Scary…
:'''All''': Turn it off.
:'''Mel B''': All right, I will.
:'''Man on Radio''': So Emma, come on, what’s it like to be Baby Spice?
:'''Emma''': You know, I’m always gonna be seen as Baby Spice, you know, the sweet and innocent one, even when I’m 30?
:'''Victoria''': You love it really, Emma. You play up to it all the time.
:'''Emma''': No, I don’t.
:'''Victoria''': Yes, you do. You’re doing it now.
:'''Emma''': I’m not!
:'''Mel B''': ''(giggles)''
:'''Mel C''': You see, the thing about you, Emma, is you’ve got this dead cute little smile, so you can get away with anything.
----
:'''Spice Girls''': We’re the Spice Girls, yes indeed. Just Girl Power is all we need. We know how we got this far…
:'''Geri''': Strength and courage and a Wonderbra!
:'''Spice Girls''': Would this work with only one?
:'''Emma''': Just with me, I’d have no fun.
:'''Spice Girls''': Would this work with only two?
:'''Mel B''': We need more for what we do.
:'''Spice Girls''': Would this work with only three?
:'''Mel C''': Three’s a crowd, bad company.
:'''Spice Girls''': Would this work with only four?
:'''Victoria''': No way, girls, we need one more!
:'''Spice Girls''': Listen up, take my advice - we need five for the power of Spice. Give it up, give it out, take a stand, scream and shout! One, two, three, four, five - Spice Girls!  One, two, three, four, five - Spice Girls!
----
:'''Geri''': Did you '''know''', that the largest fish in the world is the manta ray?
:'''Victoria''': And then there’s the little '''ginger''' one, that is full of '''useless''' information, about '''manta rays'''!
----
:'''Mel B''': I’m dying for the loo.
:'''Emma''': Yes. So am I.
:'''Geri''': Clifford, can we stop the bus?
:'''Clifford''': Dennis, pull over. We’ve got a crisis. The girls need to go to the bathroom again!
''(Dennis pulls over so the Girls need to go to the bathroom)''
:'''Geri''': I’m bursting to go wee.
:'''Mel C''': Move! Move!
:'''Mel B''': ''(roars)'' Geri, I’ve borrowed your shoes.
:'''Victoria''': Mind the spider!
:'''Deborah''': You see? Doesn’t matter how successful you are, sometimes you have to pee in the woods.
:'''Clifford''': I don’t understand how all the toilets can break down at the same time.
:'''Dennis''': It’s not my fault they keep breaking down. Listen, it’s hard enough to get a plumber to come to your house and that stays in one place. But you try calling one out to a bus that’s moving around the countryside. It’s impossible.
:'''Clifford''': Isn’t there something that you can do about them?
:'''Dennis''': Like what?
:'''Clifford''': Fix them!
:'''Dennis''': Listen. I love these girls, and I’ll do anything for them. But I won’t do that.
----
''(The Girls are walking through the woods at night looking for a place to pee)''
:'''Emma''': I don’t want to go any further. I’m scared!
:'''Victoria''': Why does the countryside have to be so bloody muddy?
:'''Mel B''': You know what? Something just brushed past me and I’m not joking.
:'''Geri''': It was only a disgusting beast that wants to eat you.
:'''Mel B''': Oh!
''(A loud noise is heard)''
:'''Mel C''': Oh, pack it in, Mel! 
:'''Mel B''': It wasn’t me!
:'''Geri''': I think we’re lost, you know.
:'''Mel B''': Spiders are everywhere. Whose idea was this?
''(Suddenly, a HUGE gust of wind blows in, followed by a bright light)''
:'''Mel C''': WHAT’S THAT?!
''(The source of both turns out to be a UFO heading for the terrified Girls)''
:'''Geri''': OH, MY GOD! RUN FOR IT!!
:'''Emma''': I CAN’T MOVE!!
''(The UFO lands, and out come four short aliens in green coats)''
:'''Alien #1''': ''(in alien language)'' It’s them! It’s them! Look! 
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' Are you sure?
:'''Alien #1''': ''(in alien language)'' Yes! There’s the little blonde one. 
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' That’s what you said before, and it was a sheep! 
''(One of the aliens reaches for Mel B’s chest and she swats his hand)''
:'''Mel B''': OI, GET OFF! 
:'''Mel C''': And now, you’ve done it now! 
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' I told you, shake HANDS!
:'''Mel B''': Geri, go and say something to them.
:'''Victoria''': Say something.
:'''Mel C''': Go on. Say something good, Geri.
:'''Geri''': What do you want with us? 
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' Are you the Spice Girls?
:'''Girls''': Yes. 
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' Can we have tickets for your Albert Hall gig? 
:'''Emma''': I’m really sorry, but they’ve all sold out. 
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' I told you we should’ve booked early! 
''(Alien #1 holds out a notepad)''
:'''Mel C''': What’s that? What is it? 
:'''Alien #1''': ''(in alien language)'' Can I have your autograph? It’s not for me, it’s for my brother. 
:'''Mel C''': What’s his name? 
:'''Alien #1''': ''(in alien language)'' Krtkkarphillmuk.
:'''Mel C''': Is that with 3 or 4 K’s?
:'''Emma''': It’s 4. 
''(The 4th alien opens his coat)''
:'''Alien #4''': ''(in alien language)'' Could you sign this please, Posh?
:'''Mel C''': There you go.
:'''Victoria''': Oh gosh, you’re fat.
:'''Alien #1''': ''(in alien language)'' Give us a kiss, Ginger one! 
:'''Emma''': Eww, he wants you to snog him.
:'''Mel C''': He wants you, G.
:'''Girls''': Ew!
''(The other Girls recoil in disgust while Geri kisses the aliens)''
:'''Alien #1''': ''(in alien language)'' YIPPEE! 
:'''Emma''': Ugh! They want a picture, now?
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' Say “khttttyakkk!”
''(He takes a picture of the Girls w/ the aliens; cut back to the Spicebus)''
:'''Clifford''': What do you mean, aliens? 
:'''Mel C''': You know, aliens from outer space. 
:'''Emma''': They had these little squidgy faces.
:'''Girls''': Yeah.
:'''Victoria''': And really cheap green coats.
:'''Clifford''': You’re obviously under massive stress. I think you need some time off.
----
:'''Mr. Step''': I know. I’ve seen your videos! Hahahahahaha!
----
:'''Victoria''': ''(after the girls hear noises in the night and after running into each other and scaring themselves, seek refuge in Victoria’s room)'' It’s pathetic, you know, that we can’t even sleep in our own rooms.
:'''Mel C''': Yeah, I don’t know what we’re making such a fuss for. It’s only an old house.
:'''Victoria''': A big old house.
:'''Emma''': ''(very scared)'' A big, very old, haunted, big old house.
:'''Mel B''': Well, I had this horrible dream last night. I dreamt we were all doing the live show. And I went on the stage, and I was just about to open my gob, and nothing came out. But something even more weird happened. I realized, right?
:'''Mel C''': You didn’t have a head?
:'''All''': Yeah. How did you know?
:'''Mel C''': I had exactly the same dream.
:'''Mel B''': No way. No.
:'''Victoria''': I had exactly the same dream, but mine was much, much worse. Well, you see, I had a head but there was no makeup on it.
:'''Geri''': Oh, no.
:'''Emma''': I just don’t understand. So what does it all mean?
:'''Geri''': Probably our subconscious minds so we don’t have to deal with our inner anxieties when we’re awake.
:'''Mel B''': Like we’re all gonna be scared of this live show.
:'''Emma''': And that we might not be able to sing.
:'''Mel C''': And it’s gonna be a complete disaster.
:'''Victoria''': Oh, no.
:'''Emma''': Let’s just stay here together.
:'''Mel C''': Yeah, squash up. I’m going to sleep now.
:'''Mel B''': I am. See ya.
----
:'''Clifford''': ''(after they have a fall into the Thames)'' Look at this! Front page news again. Suppose the whole lot you had been drowned?
:'''Geri''': Well we weren’t though, were we?
:'''Victoria''': Speak for yourself. 
:'''Clifford''': What do you think you were doing, going off like that?
:'''Mel B''': We were just having fun!
:'''Clifford''': What?!
:'''Emma''': You know, fun? Like, “Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!”
----
:'''Kevin McMaxford''': Something’s happening to me. What is it?
:'''Brian''': You’re smiling, sir.
----
''(As the Spice Girls are performing “Spice Up Your Life”)''
:'''Martin Barnfield''': Gonna make this movie? Have we got a deal?
:'''Clifford''': We’ve got a deal. Yes!

== Taglines ==
* They perform for royalty and entertain millions the world over. But now, they’re making a movie.
* You say you want a revolution?
* They Don’t Just Sing!
* Five girls. Five days. One rocking world!

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:1997 films]]
[[Category:1990s English-language films]]
[[Category:Films about musical groups]]</text>
      <sha1>dms5buw3ptg3mrojs7lulkvsojbrcmo</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944128</id>
      <parentid>3944127</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T07:26:34Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-22475-30</username>
        <id>3310494</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <origin>3944128</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="12667" sha1="f8nobhff9h5nbhow91qehmahydp124g" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Spice World (film)|Spice World]]''''' is a [[w:1997 in film|1997 film]] about the Spice Girls and their entourage (mostly fictional characters) - manager Clifford, his assistant Deborah, filmmaker Piers (who is trying to shoot a documentary on “the real Spice Girls”) and others in their everyday life.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Geri''': Okay, Horoscopes!
:'''Emma''': You know, I don't believe in star signs.
:'''Geri''': You see, you wouldn’t, because you’re an Aquarian, and Aquarians don’t believe in anything.
:'''Emma''': No, I don’t believe that either.
:'''Mel B''': Oh, no! I can’t find my boots! I think I’ve lost them.
:'''Victoria''': It’s always the same. I never know what to wear.
:'''Mel C''': Oh, it must be so hard for you, Victoria. You know, trying to decide whether to wear the little Gucci dress, the little Gucci dress, or the little Gucci dress.
:'''Victoria''': Exactly.
:'''Emma''': I know. Why don’t you wear the little Gucci dress?
:'''Victoria''': That’s a good idea. Thanks, Emma. 
:'''Mel B''': ''(Later on she finds them on Geri’s feet.)'' AH! THERE THEY ARE!
:'''Geri''': What?
:'''Mel B''': My boots, Geri! You’re wearing my boots!
:'''Geri''': Oh yeah, I don’t know how that happened.
:'''Mel B''': Typical. Typical Leo, that is. Isn’t it? Borrowing stuff without even asking me.
:'''Geri''': No, that’s Capricorn.
:'''Mel C''': Oi, don’t you be starting on Capricorns.
:'''Mel B''': That’s it. You’ve had it.
:'''Geri''': All right. HAVE THEM BACK!
:'''Mel B''': NO, I DON’T WANT THEM! ''(playfully fighting and commotion, then Mel C and Emma jumps in.)''
:'''All''': Yeah!
:'''Mel B''': Get off!
:'''Victoria''': EXCUSE ME!!!
:'''All''': WHAT?
:'''Victoria''': ''(holding up yet another Gucci dress)'' What do you guys think of this one?
:'''Mel B''': It’s great.
:'''All''': Yeah! ''(continues Play fighting and commotion.)''
----
:'''Piers''': What I want to do with this documentary is show the real Spice Girls. You know, I want to break through the show business side. I want to crash right through it, and reveal the truth.
:'''Clifford''': Well, that’s fine. Just as long as you crash through the showbiz facade on schedule. Don’t get in anybody’s way.
:'''Piers''': Yes, well, a smile costs nothing.
----
:'''Geri''': How my Gloria get her clothes so dirty, I’ll never know. Bless her.
:'''Emma''': Oh. My poor back.
:'''Mel B''': I don’t know how you can have any more of them kids. You got six already, haven’t ya?
:'''Emma''': Is it six?
:'''Mel B''': Mmm.
:'''Emma''': Yeah, but they’re so cute when they’re little. Then they grow up to be real little bleeders.
:'''Victoria''': Thank god for boarding school. I only see mine once a month.
:'''Mel C''': Our Terry goes to me…
:'''Victoria''': Cheers.
:'''Mel C''': He goes “Ma, I wanna be a singer.” I said “Listen, lad, go to college, get yourself a proper job.” Does he listen? No.
:'''Mel B''': They never do, though, do they? I mean, you know…
:'''Geri''': Darling. Kids today just don’t know how…
:'''All''': Lucky they are. ''(Music Blares Up)''
:'''Geri''': Brucey! Demi! Will you turn that bloody racket down?
----
:'''Geri''': Check.
:'''Mel B''': What do you mean, check?
:'''Geri''': I mean check. My bishop’s got your king.
:'''Mel B''': Where?
:'''Geri''': There! You’ve either got to move it in front, or move it out of the way.
:'''Mel B''': All right, well, I’ll move that fairground horse to there. Sort that out.
:'''Geri''': You can’t '''do''' that.
:'''Mel B''': Says who?
:'''Geri''': Says Mr. Chess. It’s been in the rules for thousands of years.
:'''Mel B''': Well, I’m gonna break the rules, and set this little fairground horse free amongst all these little square fields like that. There!
:'''Geri''': I’m gonna slap you in a minute.
----
:'''Man on Radio''': Well, that was the Spice Girls. If you want tickets to their first ever live gig, tough luck. You’re too late. But they’re with me now on Surgery. So here they are. Welcome, girls! There’s Sporty, Scary…
:'''All''': Turn it off.
:'''Mel B''': All right, I will.
:'''Man on Radio''': So Emma, come on, what’s it like to be Baby Spice?
:'''Emma''': You know, I’m always gonna be seen as Baby Spice, you know, the sweet and innocent one, even when I’m 30?
:'''Victoria''': You love it really, Emma. You play up to it all the time.
:'''Emma''': No, I don’t.
:'''Victoria''': Yes, you do. You’re doing it now.
:'''Emma''': I’m not!
:'''Mel B''': ''(giggles)''
:'''Mel C''': You see, the thing about you, Emma, is you’ve got this dead cute little smile, so you can get away with anything.
----
:'''Spice Girls''': We’re the Spice Girls, yes indeed. Just Girl Power is all we need. We know how we got this far…
:'''Geri''': Strength and courage and a Wonderbra!
:'''Spice Girls''': Would this work with only one?
:'''Emma''': Just with me, I’d have no fun.
:'''Spice Girls''': Would this work with only two?
:'''Mel B''': We need more for what we do.
:'''Spice Girls''': Would this work with only three?
:'''Mel C''': Three’s a crowd, bad company.
:'''Spice Girls''': Would this work with only four?
:'''Victoria''': No way, girls, we need one more!
:'''Spice Girls''': Listen up, take my advice - we need five for the power of Spice. Give it up, give it out, take a stand, scream and shout! One, two, three, four, five - Spice Girls!  One, two, three, four, five - Spice Girls!
----
:'''Geri''': Did you '''know''', that the largest fish in the world is the manta ray?
:'''Victoria''': And then there’s the little '''ginger''' one, that is full of '''useless''' information, about '''manta rays'''!
----
:'''Mel B''': I’m dying for the loo.
:'''Emma''': Yes. So am I.
:'''Geri''': Clifford, can we stop the bus?
:'''Clifford''': Dennis, pull over. We’ve got a crisis. The girls need to go to the bathroom again!
''(Dennis pulls over so the Girls need to go to the bathroom)''
:'''Geri''': I’m bursting to go wee.
:'''Mel C''': Move! Move!
:'''Mel B''': ''(roars)'' Geri, I’ve borrowed your shoes.
:'''Victoria''': Mind the spider!
:'''Deborah''': You see? Doesn’t matter how successful you are, sometimes you have to pee in the woods.
:'''Clifford''': I don’t understand how all the toilets can break down at the same time.
:'''Dennis''': It’s not my fault they keep breaking down. Listen, it’s hard enough to get a plumber to come to your house and that stays in one place. But you try calling one out to a bus that’s moving around the countryside. It’s impossible.
:'''Clifford''': Isn’t there something that you can do about them?
:'''Dennis''': Like what?
:'''Clifford''': Fix them!
:'''Dennis''': Listen. I love these girls, and I’ll do anything for them. But I won’t do that.
----
''(The Girls are walking through the woods at night looking for a place to pee)''
:'''Emma''': I don’t want to go any further. I’m scared!
:'''Victoria''': Why does the countryside have to be so bloody muddy?
:'''Mel B''': You know what? Something just brushed past me and I’m not joking.
:'''Geri''': It was only a disgusting beast that wants to eat you.
:'''Mel B''': Oh!
''(A loud noise is heard)''
:'''Mel C''': Oh, pack it in, Mel! 
:'''Mel B''': It wasn’t me!
:'''Geri''': I think we’re lost, you know.
:'''Mel B''': Spiders are everywhere. Whose idea was this?
''(Suddenly, a HUGE gust of wind blows in, followed by a bright light)''
:'''Mel C''': WHAT’S THAT?!
''(The source of both turns out to be a UFO heading for the terrified Girls)''
:'''Geri''': OH, MY GOD! RUN FOR IT!!
:'''Emma''': I CAN’T MOVE!!
''(The UFO lands, and out come four short aliens in green coats)''
:'''Alien #1''': ''(in alien language)'' It’s them! It’s them! Look! 
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' Are you sure?
:'''Alien #1''': ''(in alien language)'' Yes! There’s the little blonde one. 
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' That’s what you said before, and it was a sheep! 
''(One of the aliens reaches for Mel B’s chest and she swats his hand)''
:'''Mel B''': OI, GET OFF! 
:'''Mel C''': And now, you’ve done it now! 
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' I told you, shake HANDS!
:'''Mel B''': Geri, go and say something to them.
:'''Victoria''': Say something.
:'''Mel C''': Go on. Say something good, Geri.
:'''Geri''': What do you want with us? 
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' Are you the Spice Girls?
:'''Girls''': Yes. 
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' Can we have tickets for your Albert Hall gig? 
:'''Emma''': I’m really sorry, but they’ve all sold out. 
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' I told you we should’ve booked early! 
''(Alien #1 holds out a notepad)''
:'''Mel C''': What’s that? What is it? 
:'''Alien #1''': ''(in alien language)'' Can I have your autograph? It’s not for me, it’s for my brother. 
:'''Mel C''': What’s his name? 
:'''Alien #1''': ''(in alien language)'' Krtkkarphillmuk.
:'''Mel C''': Is that with 3 or 4 K’s?
:'''Emma''': It’s 4. 
''(The 4th alien opens his coat)''
:'''Alien #4''': ''(in alien language)'' Could you sign this please, Posh?
:'''Mel C''': There you go.
:'''Victoria''': Oh gosh, you’re fat.
:'''Alien #1''': ''(in alien language)'' Give us a kiss, Ginger one! 
:'''Emma''': Eww, he wants you to snog him.
:'''Mel C''': He wants you, G.
:'''Girls''': Ew!
''(The other Girls recoil in disgust while Geri kisses the aliens)''
:'''Alien #1''': ''(in alien language)'' YIPPEE! 
:'''Emma''': Ugh! They want a picture, now?
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' Say “khttttyakkk!”
''(He takes a picture of the Girls w/ the aliens; cut back to the Spicebus)''
:'''Clifford''': What do you mean, aliens? 
:'''Mel C''': You know, aliens from outer space. 
:'''Emma''': They had these little squidgy faces.
:'''Girls''': Yeah.
:'''Victoria''': And really cheap green coats.
:'''Clifford''': You’re obviously under massive stress. I think you need some time off.
----
:'''Mr. Step''': I know. I’ve seen your videos! Hahahahahaha!
----
:'''Victoria''': ''(after the girls hear noises in the night and after running into each other and scaring themselves, seek refuge in Victoria’s room)'' It’s pathetic, you know, that we can’t even sleep in our own rooms.
:'''Mel C''': Yeah, I don’t know what we’re making such a fuss for. It’s only an old house.
:'''Victoria''': A big old house.
:'''Emma''': ''(very scared)'' A big, very old, haunted, big old house.
:'''Mel B''': Well, I had this horrible dream last night. I dreamt we were all doing the live show. And I went on the stage, and I was just about to open my gob, and nothing came out. But something even more weird happened. I realized, right?
:'''Mel C''': You didn’t have a head?
:'''All''': Yeah. How did you know?
:'''Mel C''': I had exactly the same dream.
:'''Mel B''': No way. No.
:'''Victoria''': I had exactly the same dream, but mine was much, much worse. Well, you see, I had a head but there was no makeup on it.
:'''Geri''': Oh, no.
:'''Emma''': I just don’t understand. So what does it all mean?
:'''Geri''': Probably our subconscious minds so we don’t have to deal with our inner anxieties when we’re awake.
:'''Mel B''': Like we’re all gonna be scared of this live show.
:'''Emma''': And that we might not be able to sing.
:'''Mel C''': And it’s gonna be a complete disaster.
:'''Victoria''': Oh, no.
:'''Emma''': Let’s just stay here together.
:'''Mel C''': Yeah, squash up. I’m going to sleep now.
:'''Mel B''': I am. See ya.
----
:'''Clifford''': ''(after they have a fall into the Thames)'' Look at this! Front page news again. Suppose the whole lot you had been drowned?
:'''Geri''': Well we weren’t though, were we?
:'''Victoria''': Speak for yourself. 
:'''Clifford''': What do you think you were doing, going off like that?
:'''Mel B''': We were just having fun!
:'''Clifford''': What?!
:'''Emma''': You know, fun? Like, “Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!”
----
:'''Kevin McMaxford''': Something’s happening to me. What is it?
:'''Brian''': You’re smiling, sir.
----
''(As the Spice Girls are performing “Spice Up Your Life”)''
:'''Martin Barnfield''': Gonna make this movie? Have we got a deal?
:'''Clifford''': We’ve got a deal. Yes!

== Taglines ==
* They perform for royalty and entertain millions the world over. But now, they’re making a movie.
* You say you want a revolution?
* They Don’t Just Sing!
* Five girls. Five days. One rocking world!

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:1997 films]]
[[Category:1990s English-language films]]
[[Category:Films about musical groups]]</text>
      <sha1>f8nobhff9h5nbhow91qehmahydp124g</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944142</id>
      <parentid>3944128</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T08:42:22Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-22475-30</username>
        <id>3310494</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <origin>3944142</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="12846" sha1="jhk9nacadu0ol7ks4i3qan0j1ycahf7" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Spice World (film)|Spice World]]''''' is a [[w:1997 in film|1997 film]] about the Spice Girls and their entourage (mostly fictional characters) - manager Clifford, his assistant Deborah, filmmaker Piers (who is trying to shoot a documentary on “the real Spice Girls”) and others in their everyday life.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Geri''': Okay, Horoscopes!
:'''Emma''': You know, I don't believe in star signs.
:'''Geri''': You see, you wouldn’t, because you’re an Aquarian, and Aquarians don’t believe in anything.
:'''Emma''': No, I don’t believe that either.
:'''Mel B''': Oh, no! I can’t find my boots! I think I’ve lost them.
:'''Victoria''': It’s always the same. I never know what to wear.
:'''Mel C''': Oh, it must be so hard for you, Victoria. You know, trying to decide whether to wear the little Gucci dress, the little Gucci dress, or the little Gucci dress.
:'''Victoria''': Exactly.
:'''Emma''': I know. Why don’t you wear the little Gucci dress?
:'''Victoria''': That’s a good idea. Thanks, Emma. 
:'''Mel B''': ''(Later on she finds them on Geri’s feet.)'' AH! THERE THEY ARE!
:'''Geri''': What?
:'''Mel B''': My boots, Geri! You’re wearing my boots!
:'''Geri''': Oh yeah, I don’t know how that happened.
:'''Mel B''': Typical. Typical Leo, that is. Isn’t it? Borrowing stuff without even asking me.
:'''Geri''': No, that’s Capricorn.
:'''Mel C''': Oi, don’t you be starting on Capricorns.
:'''Mel B''': That’s it. You’ve had it.
:'''Geri''': All right. HAVE THEM BACK!
:'''Mel B''': NO, I DON’T WANT THEM! ''(playfully fighting and commotion, then Mel C and Emma jumps in.)''
:'''All''': Yeah!
:'''Mel B''': Get off!
:'''Victoria''': EXCUSE ME!!!
:'''All''': WHAT?
:'''Victoria''': ''(holding up yet another Gucci dress)'' What do you guys think of this one?
:'''Mel B''': It’s great.
:'''All''': Yeah! ''(continues Play fighting and commotion.)''
----
:'''Piers''': What I want to do with this documentary is show the real Spice Girls. You know, I want to break through the show business side. I want to crash right through it, and reveal the truth.
:'''Clifford''': Well, that’s fine. Just as long as you crash through the showbiz facade on schedule. Don’t get in anybody’s way.
:'''Piers''': Yes, well, a smile costs nothing.
----
:'''Geri''': How my Gloria get her clothes so dirty, I’ll never know. Bless her.
:'''Emma''': Oh. My poor back.
:'''Mel B''': I don’t know how you can have any more of them kids. You’ve got six already, haven’t ya?
:'''Emma''': Is it six?
:'''Mel B''': Mmm.
:'''Emma''': Yeah, but they’re so cute when they’re little. Then they grow up to be real little bleeders.
:'''Victoria''': Thank god for boarding school. I only see mine once a month.
:'''Mel C''': Our Terry goes to me…
:'''Victoria''': Cheers.
:'''Mel C''': He goes “Ma, I wanna be a singer.” I said “Listen, lad, go to college, get yourself a proper job.” Does he listen? No.
:'''Mel B''': They never do, though, do they? I mean, you know…
:'''Geri''': Darling. Kids today just don’t know how…
:'''All''': Lucky they are. ''(Music blares up)''
:'''Geri''': Brucey! Demi! Will you turn that bloody racket down?
----
:'''Geri''': Check.
:'''Mel B''': What do you mean, check?
:'''Geri''': I mean check. My bishop’s got your king.
:'''Mel B''': Where?
:'''Geri''': There! You’ve either got to move it in front, or move it out of the way.
:'''Mel B''': All right, well, I’ll move that fairground horse to there. Sort that out.
:'''Geri''': You can’t '''do''' that.
:'''Mel B''': Says who?
:'''Geri''': Says Mr. Chess. It’s been in the rules for thousands of years.
:'''Mel B''': Well, I’m gonna break the rules, and set this little fairground horse free amongst all these little square fields like that. There!
:'''Geri''': I’m gonna slap you in a minute.
----
:'''Man on Radio''': Well, that was the Spice Girls. If you want tickets to their first ever live gig, tough luck. You’re too late. But they’re with me now on Surgery. So here they are. Welcome, girls! There’s Sporty, Scary…
:'''All''': Turn it off.
:'''Mel B''': All right, I will.
:'''Man on Radio''': So Emma, come on, what’s it like to be Baby Spice?
:'''Emma''': You know, I’m always gonna be seen as Baby Spice, you know, the sweet and innocent one, even when I’m 30?
:'''Victoria''': You love it really, Emma. You play up to it all the time.
:'''Emma''': No, I don’t.
:'''Victoria''': Yes, you do. You’re doing it now.
:'''Emma''': I’m not!
:'''Mel B''': ''(giggles)''
:'''Mel C''': You see, the thing about you, Emma, is you’ve got this dead cute little smile, so you can get away with anything.
----
:'''Spice Girls''': We’re the Spice Girls, yes indeed. Just Girl Power is all we need. We know how we got this far…
:'''Geri''': Strength and courage and a Wonderbra!
:'''Spice Girls''': Would this work with only one?
:'''Emma''': Just with me, I’d have no fun.
:'''Spice Girls''': Would this work with only two?
:'''Mel B''': We need more for what we do.
:'''Spice Girls''': Would this work with only three?
:'''Mel C''': Three’s a crowd, bad company.
:'''Spice Girls''': Would this work with only four?
:'''Victoria''': No way, girls, we need one more!
:'''Spice Girls''': Listen up, take my advice - we need five for the power of Spice. Give it up, give it out, take a stand, scream and shout! One, two, three, four, five - Spice Girls!  One, two, three, four, five - Spice Girls!
----
:'''Geri''': Did you '''know''', that the largest fish in the world is the manta ray?
:'''Victoria''': And then there’s the little '''ginger''' one, that is full of '''useless''' information, about '''manta rays'''!
----
:'''Mel B''': I’m dying for the loo.
:'''Emma''': Yes. So am I.
:'''Geri''': Clifford, can we stop the bus?
:'''Clifford''': Dennis, pull over. We’ve got a crisis. The girls need to go to the bathroom again!
''(Dennis pulls over so the Girls need to go to the bathroom)''
:'''Geri''': I’m bursting to go wee.
:'''Mel C''': Move! Move!
:'''Mel B''': ''(roars)'' Geri, I’ve borrowed your shoes.
:'''Victoria''': Mind the spider!
:'''Deborah''': You see? Doesn’t matter how successful you are, sometimes you have to pee in the woods.
:'''Clifford''': I don’t understand how all the toilets can break down at the same time.
:'''Dennis''': It’s not my fault they keep breaking down. Listen, it’s hard enough to get a plumber to come to your house and that stays in one place. But you try calling one out to a bus that’s moving around the countryside. It’s impossible.
:'''Clifford''': Isn’t there something that you can do about them?
:'''Dennis''': Like what?
:'''Clifford''': Fix them!
:'''Dennis''': Listen. I love these girls, and I’ll do anything for them. But I won’t do that.
----
''(The Girls are walking through the woods at night looking for a place to pee)''
:'''Emma''': I don’t want to go any further. I’m scared!
:'''Victoria''': Why does the countryside have to be so bloody muddy?
:'''Mel B''': You know what? Something just brushed past me and I’m not joking.
:'''Geri''': It was only a disgusting beast that wants to eat you.
:'''Mel B''': Oh!
''(A loud noise is heard)''
:'''Mel C''': Oh, pack it in, Mel! 
:'''Mel B''': It wasn’t me!
:'''Geri''': I think we’re lost, you know.
:'''Mel B''': Spiders are everywhere. Whose idea was this?
''(Suddenly, a HUGE gust of wind blows in, followed by a bright light)''
:'''Mel C''': WHAT’S THAT?!
''(The source of both turns out to be a UFO heading for the terrified Girls)''
:'''Geri''': OH, MY GOD! RUN FOR IT!!
:'''Emma''': I CAN’T MOVE!!
''(The UFO lands, and out come four short aliens in green coats)''
:'''Alien #1''': ''(in alien language)'' It’s them! It’s them! Look! 
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' Are you sure?
:'''Alien #1''': ''(in alien language)'' Yes! There’s the little blonde one. 
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' That’s what you said before, and it was a sheep! 
''(One of the aliens reaches for Mel B’s chest and she swats his hand)''
:'''Mel B''': OI, GET OFF! 
:'''Mel C''': And now, you’ve done it now! 
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' I told you, shake HANDS!
:'''Mel B''': Geri, go and say something to them.
:'''Victoria''': Say something.
:'''Mel C''': Go on. Say something good, Geri.
:'''Geri''': What do you want with us? 
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' Are you the Spice Girls?
:'''Girls''': Yes. 
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' Can we have tickets for your Albert Hall gig? 
:'''Emma''': I’m really sorry, but they’ve all sold out. 
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' I told you we should’ve booked early! 
''(Alien #1 holds out a notepad)''
:'''Mel C''': What’s that? What is it? 
:'''Alien #1''': ''(in alien language)'' Can I have your autograph? It’s not for me, it’s for my brother. 
:'''Mel C''': What’s his name? 
:'''Alien #1''': ''(in alien language)'' Krtkkarphillmuk.
:'''Mel C''': Is that with 3 or 4 K’s?
:'''Emma''': It’s 4. 
''(The 4th alien opens his coat)''
:'''Alien #4''': ''(in alien language)'' Could you sign this please, Posh?
:'''Mel C''': There you go.
:'''Victoria''': Oh gosh, you’re fat.
:'''Alien #1''': ''(in alien language)'' Give us a kiss, Ginger one! 
:'''Emma''': Eww, he wants you to snog him.
:'''Mel C''': He wants you, G.
:'''Girls''': Ew!
''(The other Girls recoil in disgust while Geri kisses the aliens)''
:'''Alien #1''': ''(in alien language)'' YIPPEE! 
:'''Emma''': Ugh! They want a picture, now?
:'''Alien #2''': ''(in alien language)'' Say “khttttyakkk!”
''(He takes a picture of the Girls w/ the aliens; cut back to the Spicebus)''
:'''Clifford''': What do you mean, aliens? 
:'''Mel C''': You know, aliens from outer space. 
:'''Emma''': They had these little squidgy faces.
:'''Girls''': Yeah.
:'''Victoria''': And really cheap green coats.
:'''Clifford''': You’re obviously under massive stress. I think you need some time off.
----
:'''Clifford''': Now hear this. Now hear this. You are about to enter Dance Camp. You will be under the instruction of the toughest dance teacher of all time, Mr. Step.
----
:'''Mr. Step''': I know. I’ve seen your videos! Hahahahahaha!
----
:'''Victoria''': ''(after the girls hear noises in the night and after running into each other and scaring themselves, seek refuge in Victoria’s room)'' It’s pathetic, you know, that we can’t even sleep in our own rooms.
:'''Mel C''': Yeah, I don’t know what we’re making such a fuss for. It’s only an old house.
:'''Victoria''': A big old house.
:'''Emma''': ''(very scared)'' A big, very old, haunted, big old house.
:'''Mel B''': Well, I had this horrible dream last night. I dreamt we were all doing the live show. And I went on the stage, and I was just about to open my gob, and nothing came out. But something even more weird happened. I realized, right?
:'''Mel C''': You didn’t have a head?
:'''All''': Yeah. How did you know?
:'''Mel C''': I had exactly the same dream.
:'''Mel B''': No way. No.
:'''Victoria''': I had exactly the same dream, but mine was much, much worse. Well, you see, I had a head but there was no makeup on it.
:'''Geri''': Oh, no.
:'''Emma''': I just don’t understand. So what does it all mean?
:'''Geri''': Probably our subconscious minds so we don’t have to deal with our inner anxieties when we’re awake.
:'''Mel B''': Like we’re all gonna be scared of this live show.
:'''Emma''': And that we might not be able to sing.
:'''Mel C''': And it’s gonna be a complete disaster.
:'''Victoria''': Oh, no.
:'''Emma''': Let’s just stay here together.
:'''Mel C''': Yeah, squash up. I’m going to sleep now.
:'''Mel B''': I am. See ya.
----
:'''Clifford''': ''(after they have a fall into the Thames)'' Look at this! Front page news again. Suppose the whole lot you had been drowned?
:'''Geri''': Well we weren’t though, were we?
:'''Victoria''': Speak for yourself. 
:'''Clifford''': What do you think you were doing, going off like that?
:'''Mel B''': We were just having fun!
:'''Clifford''': What?!
:'''Emma''': You know, fun? Like, “Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!”
----
:'''Kevin McMaxford''': Something’s happening to me. What is it?
:'''Brian''': You’re smiling, sir.
----
''(As the Spice Girls are performing “Spice Up Your Life”)''
:'''Martin Barnfield''': Gonna make this movie? Have we got a deal?
:'''Clifford''': We’ve got a deal. Yes!

== Taglines ==
* They perform for royalty and entertain millions the world over. But now, they’re making a movie.
* You say you want a revolution?
* They Don’t Just Sing!
* Five girls. Five days. One rocking world!

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:1997 films]]
[[Category:1990s English-language films]]
[[Category:Films about musical groups]]</text>
      <sha1>jhk9nacadu0ol7ks4i3qan0j1ycahf7</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>J.R. Hamilton</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>41335</id>
    <redirect title="Macedonians (ethnic group)" />
    <revision>
      <id>3944000</id>
      <parentid>3489401</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T17:37:11Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>GrimRob</username>
        <id>1187925</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>merged into [[Macedonians (ethnic group)]]</comment>
      <origin>3944000</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="40" sha1="8is03j038k4xx9gxpk0nrhqa5bwn7l9" xml:space="preserve">#REDIRECT [[Macedonians (ethnic group)]]</text>
      <sha1>8is03j038k4xx9gxpk0nrhqa5bwn7l9</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>All Grown Up!</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>44447</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943964</id>
      <parentid>3880399</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T14:43:09Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943964</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="50789" sha1="4mxex7lkgyht7cqbwdyzrwksg7iugh3" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:All Grown Up!|All Grown Up!]]''''' (2003–2008) is an [[w:animated television series|animated television series]] based on characters from [[Rugrats]], as older characters facing pre-teen issues. It premiered as a preview before starting its regular run in America, early March. The show is based on the Rugrats' 10th anniversary episode and television movie ''[[All Growed Up]]'', and the sequel to ''[[Rugrats]]'', which proved popular enough that [[w:Nickelodeon|Nickelodeon]] decided to commission a whole series. The show was aimed at preteens, and from ages 10 to 13.

== Pilot ==
{{Main|All Growed Up}}

== Season 1 ==
=== Coup DeVille===
:'''Dil''' [while sniffing a shoe]: Weirdorama. It's corinthian leather. But it smells like egg salad.
:'''Phil''': That is so immature! (sniffs the shoe) Cat butt, duh! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Pangborn''': Finster, what are you doing?
:'''Chuckie''': Drowning, sir?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Phil''': Thanks, I'll pay you back. As soon as that no-allowance-for-a-month thing is over. How was I suppose to know Kimi's great aunt was in that vase? They should label that stuff. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chuckie''': This test is stupid and humiliating! I can't even do the simplest rope climb!
:'''Tommy''': Chuckie, you made it almost to the top.
:'''Chuckie''': Only 'cause Pangborn pushed me halfway up!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Beaker''': Morning. Sit down, find your chairs this time. Now, ignore my mumbling as I write on the board. Enjoy my back.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lil''': Why are we partners on every project? It's always Phil and Lil this, Phil and Lil that, Newsflash, We're not two heads on one body! We are just two separate people who happen to live in the same house. He's Phil and I'm Lil. Two names, separated by the word &quot;and.&quot; I am a thinking, breathing, independent individual and he's... Phil. From now on, think about me without Phil. Okay? ''[pause]'' '''OKAY?!?'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lil''': Twins this, twins that. It's always Phil and Lil! It ain't no even Lil and Phil! There's too much &quot;we&quot;; not enough &quot;me&quot;! I ain't wearing anything to that place because I ain't no going!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chuckie''': I was exercising my right to say no to the President and his stupid test! I made a stand by refusing to show up!
:'''Tommy''': Chuckie Finster skipped a class?
:'''Chuckie''': Actually, I was hanging out in the nurse's office. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chuckie''': I've been humiliated year after year, and now my suffering's over! Today I am taking a stand for coordinately-challenged kids everywhere!
:'''Tommy''': And tomorrow?
:'''Chuckie''': Tommy, don't ruin my moment!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Betty''': Jeez! This is awful.
:'''Howard''': I know, we either have to have another set of twins or actually pay for a vacation.
:'''Betty''': No, Howie, we have a bigger problem than a lost vacation. Our little Lil is unhappy.
:'''Howard''': Right. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Betty''': Calm down, Philly. Lil gets her own room, but think about it, so do you, and the computer stays here. And you finally have room for that basketball hoop you've always wanted, and you can paint the place any color you like, except tangerine 'cause it makes your father wig out.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Leslie''': All the right kids are here.
:'''Diane''': Yeah. No lame-brains or dorks. Oh, by the way, where is your brother tonight?
:'''Lil''': Not here!
:'''Diane''': He really is a boob, isn't he?
:'''Leslie''': My vote is for immature slob.
:'''Brett''': Are you talking about Phil? He's like totally obnoxious in class.
:'''Lil''': Not all the time.
:'''Diane''': Not to mention gross and smelly.
:'''Leslie''': This is fun! And he's really goofy looking, too.
:'''Lil''': Not like I'm standing up for him or anything, but it's sometimes fun to be gross. And you know, Phil and I are twins, so if you think he's goofy looking, then I guess you think I am, too.
:'''Diane:''' No.
:'''Leslie:''' No way.
:'''Brett:''' We weren't sayin' that.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Diane:''' It's not like you don't know all this right? Phil is kind of a jerk.
:'''Lil''': Hey! I can call him a jerk or a slob, but you guys can't. You don't even know him! He can actually be cool sometimes, and fun, and funny, and loyal. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

=== Susie Sings the Blues===
:'''Tommy''' [to Chuckie]: Come on Chuck, how long does it take to copy your butt?
:'''Chuckie''': I wasn't sure if I was letter or legal sized. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chuckie''': See, I'm vanilla, Crustless Vanilla Finster, I was gonna get the chocolate mango swirl bar, but no, I chickened out at the last minute.
:'''Tommy''': Actually, Chuckie, you chickened out at the first minute. But hey, be tight with that.
:'''Chuckie''': But I want to be tight with a different Chuckie. The Chuck. A Chuck who takes risk, a Chuck who flirts with danger!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Angelica''': Everybody's a critic.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Susie''': Do you still have that cute top…
:'''Alisa''': Don't push your luck, girl.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Angelica''' [singing on the stage]: One, two, three, four! Can't help it boy, my heart's got call-waiting. Don't want you to be the only one I'm dating. Oops, got to put you on hold. Oops, got to put you on hold. And when our cars, went bump, bump baby. My heart went thump, thump, baby! (Harold plays on a red electric guitar and Dil and Phil and Lil dance and backup sing on the stage) (Other kids, tweens and teens boo at Angelica, Chuckie screams at Tommy and Angelica screams and falls off of the stage)
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Susie''' [singing on the stage]: I was feeling real shattered, but my dreams they still matter. So if you think I'm going, baby, you're wrong. I'm so strong 'Cause there's no getting rid of this dream. How can I tell you what I mean?  Sure, I took the wrong path, but then I did some new math. 'Cause there's no getting rid of this dream. How can I tell you what I mean? (Phil and Lil, Dil and Harold dance and Phil and Lil and Dil backup sing on the stage and Kimi dances off of the stage)
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

=== Bad Kimi===
:'''Angelica''': Well, it takes a very special kind person to be an advice giver. You have to be soft on the inside, but tough on the outside. Like left over lasagna. Ask yourself, Harold, are you left over lasagna? 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimi''': Wow, isn't Z totally rockstar?
:'''Chas''': Does that mean hoodlum?
:'''Kimi''': Dad! What happened to your whole &quot;don't judge a book by its cover&quot; speech?!
:'''Chas''': Well, it's different now because the book is hanging around with my daughter! 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chas''': So, Z, is that short for anything? Zack? Zebediah? Zeus?
:'''Z''': No, it's just Z.
:'''Chas''': Oh. So, how do you spell it? 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimi''': (explaining why Z had the electronics) It'd blow his image. I mean, getting excused from class to do charity work?
:'''Chuckie''': Excused?! I got detention! 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:[Police sirens are heard in the background]
:'''Police''': Stop hugging them (Z and his Father), put your hands up!
:'''Kimi''' [to Chuckie]: You didn't!
:'''Chuckie''': No... Uh, Phil did... but only because he cares..... like us!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

=== Truth or Consequences===
:(The twins see Dil walk down the hall on his hands)
:'''Phil''': I wonder what Dil would be like if we never dropped him on his head.
:(Lil shrugs)
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Pangborn (to Dil)''': I've been observing you, Pickles, and I must say I find your behavior disturbing.
:'''Dil''': Tell me more.
:'''Pangborn''': This past week I've noticed you eating exclusively green foods, hopping to class on one foot, and wearing your clothes inside out. What does that tell you, son?
:'''Dil''': That you have a lot of free time on your hands?
:'''Pangborn''': (growls) This is a standard psychological Rorschach test: I show you an inkblot; you tell me what you see. (Holds up an inkblot)
:'''Dil''': A Rorschach test.
:Pangborn: (growls) Now, what do you see? (Holds up another inkblot)
:'''Dil''': Uh, a medieval castle, hundreds of angry villagers, a raging moat, a fire-breathing dragon, and a honey-baked ham.
:(Pangborn bangs his head against his desk repeatedly)
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Pangborn (to Dil)''': Let's try a word-association experiment: I'll say a word; you respond with the first thing that comes to mind. Hot.
:'''Dil''': Hot.
:'''Pangborn''': Cold.
:'''Dil''': Cold.
:'''Pangborn''': Stop it.
:'''Dil''': Stop it.
:'''Pangborn''': You're supposed to give me a new word, not the same one I gave you!
:'''Dil''': You asked me to say the first word that came to mind. And when you say &quot;hot,&quot; the first word I think of is, well... &quot;hot.&quot;
:'''Pangborn''': (growls) Get out! No session tomorrow. Instead, I want to see the people responsible for your existence. (rips his suit at the back)
:'''Dil''': (tries to open the door) It's stuck.
:'''Pangborn''': (kicks the door down) Now it's not.

=== Thief Encounter===
:'''Tommy''': (to the police) He (Dil) is innocent!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tommy''': I was sleepwalking, you seriously think I'd go out in public like this?!
:'''Policeman''': If I had a dime for every Joe who blamed his crime on sleepwalking, I'd be a rich man. Well, maybe not rich, but I'd own a boat.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Angelica''': (about Bernadette) I want to return it.
:'''Susie''': Return what?
:'''Angelica''': It.
:'''Susie''': She's not a shirt, Angelica. She's a human being.
:'''Angelica''': That's up for debate.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chuckie''': (about Dil) Did he admit it?
:'''Tommy''': Nope, he pushed the &quot;I'm innocent&quot; act. I'll have to stay up all night and catch him.
:'''Chuckie''': How do you expect to pull an all-nighter when you can't even stay awake during the least boring school activity?
:'''Tommy''': What's that?
:'''Chuckie''': Lunch, that thing you're wearing.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dil''': I didn't do nothin', I swear.
:'''Betty''': Okay, I'll bite. If you didn't take those things, then who did?
:'''Dil''': (looks at Tommy) I'm taking the Fifth.
:'''Betty''': (to Chaz) Figures, he already took everything else.

=== River Rats===
:'''Chaz''': Dip, pull, then repeat. Plant your feet and keep your seat!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Phil (to Tommy)''': Dip, Pull, eat red meant, plant some corn and peas and wheat! (laughs)

=== It's Cupid, Stupid===
:'''Kimi''': Is it me, or is it kinda pathetic? 
:'''Susie''': I've seen worse… oh wait, that was Angelica, too!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chuckie (to Kimi)''': I just wanted to let you know that the same thing that is going on between you, Z, and Susie is going on between me, Tommy, and Nicole, so I know how you feel.
:'''Kimi''': Oh, really? You suddenly realized you have a crush on Z and your best friend is a backstabber?
:'''Chuckie''': Not exactly.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimi''': I heard Tommy say he was hoping Nicole would turn you down!
:'''Chuckie''': But Tommy would never say that!
:'''Kimi''': That's what I thought about Susie! 

=== Brother, Can You Spare the Time?===
:'''Tommy''': (to Chuckie; out of breath) Do you know what it's like to be chased by crazy, lovesick girls?! One of 'em wanted my sock!
:'''Chuckie''': No and ew.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
Lyrics to &quot;Tommy's Tomorrow&quot;
:'''Susie''': What's the haps, for Tommy's tomorrow? We know our boy's round the corner from fame. So listen up all you sisters and brothers. To us, T. Pickles will still be the same. What's the haps, for Tommy's tomorrow? We know our boy's round the corner from fame. So listen up all you sisters and brothers. To us, T. Pickles will still be the same.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tommy''': (to Dil): And who said you won't be famous, too?
:'''Dil''': Three words: Lars Christian Anderson.
:'''Tommy''': Who's that?
:'''Dil''': Exactly.

=== The Old &amp; the Restless===
:'''Tommy''': (to Sean): My Grandpa may do some embarrassing stuff sometimes, but he's still my grandpa. So shut your pie hole!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Beaker''': And that's what makes the appendix one of the most impressive, yet utterly useless organs.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lil''': We're catching up fast.
:'''Phil''': Yeah, but it'd be nice if we could at least stop and smell the mucus.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Didi''': Dil, your steamed spinach on a bed of chilled spinach is getting cold and warm!

=== Tweenage Tycoons=== 

=== Tommy Foolery===
:'''Sean''': Romeo didn't like mean girls. And neither do I. Me and Romeo don't like the meanies.
:'''Susie''': (to Angelica) Guess that counts you out!
:'''Angelica''': What do you mean?
:'''Susie''': What do you mean what do I mean? I mean you're mean! So, adios to any chance with Sean!
:'''Angelica''': I happen to be very nice.
:'''Harold''': (dreamily) I think so, too.
:'''Angelica''': Who asked ya?

=== Interview with a Campfire ===

====Part 1====
:'''Chuckie''': (gets forced to hold the rope and pushed by Kimi) BLEEEEEAAAAAAAAAGH!

====Part 2====
:'''Dil''': ''(sees Bean in an old picture)'' No way.
:'''Tommy''': What is it, Dil? What's wrong?
:'''Dil''': It's the picture of the Everwood Settlers.
:'''Tommy''': So?
:'''Dil''': Back row, 3rd guy from the left.
:'''Tommy''': It's Bean!
:'''Phil''': Bean's a ghost?
:'''Tommy, Dil, Chuckie, Phil, Lil, Stu, Charlotte and Howard''': ''(scream in fear)''
:'''Charlotte''': Wasn't he... with you?
''(they notice he has vanished)''
:'''Lil''': He's gone!
:'''Dil''': Now that the mystery's solved, the brain sucking Pioneers can finally rest in peace.
:'''Howard''': Great! Now let's get outta here!
:'''Chuckie''': Follow the buddies!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
''(suddenly appears on Tommy's footage)''
:'''Bean''':''(Eyes glowing)'' An't Got No Brain Or Nothing!
''

== Season 2 ==

===Bad Apititude ===
:'''Dil''': Sorry I'm late, but I have exciting news. I just motivated a withering rose to bloom, yeah! It took a few hours and some sunlight and some water, but I did it. And I came up with a great motivational slogan: &quot;Don't Get Down, Get Up&quot;
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Phil''': I'm going to be a botanist.
:'''Lil''': Do you even know what that is?
:'''Phil''': No, but their booth has funnel cake.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lil''': Kimi, did you see the school paper? People wrote in reviewing your reviews.
:'''Kimi''': Pretentious, boring. Forget it, everyone's a critic.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tommy''': Dil, what are you?!
:'''Dil''': Tommy, you've got to break away, you're turning Blek-anise, I really think so, and that's not who u are, you're a filmmaker, not a bleckie!

: ---- 

:'''Kimi''': Well it was a little commercial.
:'''Everyone (to Kimi)''': It was a commercial!

===Fools Rush In ===
:'''Tommy''': Dil, this isn't a game! Okay, this is a game.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tommy''': (to Francine) Either I'm facing a new friend or certain death!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lil''': I'm on in less than half an hour. Be honest, do I look okay?
:'''Kimi''': Uh, you're the new PA announcer, as in, no one's going to see you!
:'''Lil''': Oh, yeah, so, do I look okay?

===Memoirs of a Finster ===
:'''Chuckie''': Kimi, what did you find out?
:'''Kimi''': I'm Japanese!
:'''Chuckie''': You're just figuring that out?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimi''': Max has to be the coolest teacher ever! This assignment actually sounds fun.
:'''Chuckie''': I'll do your research since you're spending Saturday teaching me how to ice skate for Nicole's party.
:'''Kimi''': Don't worry about it, Chucko. This project's going to be cake. Two Finsters, one family tree equals half the work.
:'''Chuckie''': I like the way you think, Kimmo.
:'''Kimi''': Don't do that.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Phil''': (to Tommy and Dil) Call me crazy, but that kid looks kind of familiar!
:'''Tommy''': Maybe 'cause he sits next to you in every single one of your classes now, he's new!
:'''Dil''': Or 'cause he's rolled by 26 times in the past 10 minutes?! Twenty-seven!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chuckie''': See? Friends are like holidays: you can never have enough of them.
:'''Dil''': Deep. You make that up?
:'''Chuckie''': Nope. I got it off a greeting card.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chuckie''': You're not a real Finster?
:'''Lying Kimi''': No, not technically.
:'''Chuckie''': Right. 'Cause a real Finster would have taught her brother how to skate, so he won't spend an entire party on his butt risking frostbite, or death by... A SCARY BIG ICE MACHINE!

===Miss Nose it All ===
:'''Angelica''': Hold the elevator. (trips and falls) My ankle! My nose! MY PARTY!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimi''': Are Lil and I the only ones who actually want to make a tranquility garden?
:'''Phil''': What? I'm not a plant person; I'm a people person.
:'''Lil''': Guess again.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Angelica''': The grass is blue.
:'''Doctor''': Excuse Me?
:'''Angelica''': The couch is on vacation.
:'''Susie''': Is that the crazy talk?
:'''Angelica''': The pillows are hungry.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Harold (to Angelica)''': You have a cast on your nose!
:'''Angelica''': Good work, Columbo.

===Runaround Susie ===
:'''Susie''': (to Randy): What do you call those things before CDs?
:'''Randy''': Records.
:'''Susie''': Yeah.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Phil''': Either tell on me or let it die, but end the torment!
:'''Lil''': Maybe for the &quot;your red sock in my white wash incident,&quot; but this. Spray-painting your skateboard and accidentally ruining mom's...
:'''Phil''': Don't say it!
:'''Lil''': Ok, her... you know what.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Phil''': It cannot be released in the air, because once it's said, I'm dead.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lil''': Three words, Phillip: You! Know! WHAT!
:'''Phil''': Here's my three words, Lillian: You! Signed! THIS! (holds up the contract)
:'''Lil''': I! DON'T! CARE!
:'''Phil''': YOU! CAN'T! DO! Uh... THAT!
:'''Lil''': You dump Geoffrey or I tell Mom! That was the deal!
:'''Phil''': Then go ahead and tell, 'cause I'm not doing your dirty work, especially now that Geoffrey and I are... tight!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lil''': Ho-ho, cheer up, Geoffrey, here's someone you know/like better, my brother, Phil?
:'''Phil''': (Putting His Fingers at Geoffrey) Yo, Geoffrey, you wanna shoot and put through our noses?
:'''Geoffrey''': Augh, he's gross! Bye, Lil.
:'''Lil''': Bye, Geoffrey. 
:'''Phil''': (to Lil) I'm gross?! I'm GROSS?! ME?!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chas''': Wow, renewing your wedding vows. Oh, how romantic, Betty?
:'''Betty''': Romantic my caboose. It's just time for a new set of rules. You know, like &quot;love, honor, and wear a snore guard.&quot; Heh.
:'''Chas''': Ah. So, did you buy a new wedding gown?
:'''Betty''': Are you nuts? I just let the old one out a little. (Pause) Okay, a lot.

=== ''Saving Cynthia'' ===
:'''Tommy:''' We were solving a science question! Uh, we found out that p-pudding travels three times farther when shot out of a straw in your nose than uh, straw in your mouth!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Pangborn:''' Now, where was I?
:'''Tommy:''' ''(imitating Pangborn's voice)'' Look Pickles, I'll let it slide this time.
:'''Pangborn:''' Nice try. I&amp;mdash; ''(device beeps, Pangborn tries to turn it off)''
:'''Chuckie:''' Sir, is that one of those overhyped, overpriced, cutting edge digital organizers?
:'''Pangborn:''' No, it's an overhyped, overpriced, cutting edge digital organizer that saved my life!  True, I was a little worried about compressing my entire existence into something the size of a waffle.  My effiency variable has increased by 43%.
:'''Chuckie:''' I guess that's important, huh?
:'''Pangborn:''' Important!  Not only is all my personal information at my fingertips, but it tells me what kind of coffee to order, what to wear, when to go to the dentist!
:'''Tommy:''' Huh.  Sounds like you just need my mom.
:'''Pangborn:''' ''And'' it'll tell me what kind of punishment you deserve!
:''[Tommy and Chuckie gasp.]''
:'''Pangborn:''' I put the misuse of pudding, then Pickles and Finster, hit this little button here, and...voila! ''(digital organizer beeps and presents punishment)'' You must water my plants for a week?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Didi:''' Oh, yes!  I remember reading about that in ''Beyond Lipshitz''.  Parents should hold family hours to encourage a sincere and sharing dialogue with their children.
:'''Chaz:''' That's great, Didi!  I'll think I'll start our very own family hour tonight.  Really get Chuckie to...talk back!
:'''Betty:''' If I want to know what my pups are up to, I just eavesdrop on their conversations.
:'''Chaz:''' But Betty that's so, uh... ''(searches for a word in ''How to Talk to Your Kids So They'll Talk Back'')'' invasive!
:'''Betty:''' ''Only'' if they catch you at it, Chazzie!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Angelica:''' Cynthia! CYNTHIA!
:'''Harold:''' Who?
:'''Angelica:''' You don't know her, old friend.
:'''Harold:''' Who you keep stuffed in a chest?  Gee, I'm luckier than I thought!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Angelica:''' Im''pressive'' how you figured out where Cynthia is, Susie!
:'''Susie:''' ''(says sarcastically)'' Yeah, it took a brainiac like me to ask the clerk at the thrift shop who bought it.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Susie:''' Just be honest!  Nothing wins people over like a warm smile, sincerity, and... ''(pauses at Angelica's glare)'' Maybe I'd better do it.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Angelica''': Okay, so it's not like I haven't noticed how maybe sometimes, every now and then, I may get on people's nerves, but never Cynthia's!
:'''Harold''': But Cynthia's a doll, so technically, she doesn't have nerves.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Pangborn:''' By accidentally erasing my digital organizer, they've given me back my life!  Pangborn is reborn! ''(laughs)'' I even picked out my socks this morning.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chaz:''' Who's Elmira?
:'''Pangborn:''' ''(pets his hanging plant)'' Her leafy tendrils brush my... ''(meanwhile, Stu, Didi, and Chaz usher Tommy and Chuckie out of Pangborn's office)''

=== ''The Science Pair'' ===
:'''Kimi:''' Would you listen to those guys?
:'''Lil:''' ''(laughs)'' Yeah. We can win this Space Race on pure girls-are-obviously-smarter-than-boys power.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tommy:''' I call it the Socks-o-matic.  Got the idea from Chuckie. Automatically sorts socks by color and texture so no one has to suffer a fashion tragedy again. ''(Chuckie lifts his pants to reveal mismatched socks)''
:'''Chuckie:''' Hey, who're you calling a tragedy?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tommy:''' Puke-o-rama!  This milk is bad as bad gets.
:'''Chuckie:''' Worse even!
:'''Phil:''' Uh, guys, ''that's'' your milk.  You're drinkin' my science project.  I'm growing different bacteria to see which has the reekage quotient.
:''[Tommy and Chuckie drop their milk in disgust.]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lil:''' ''(squeals)'' That boy on my arm would be the ultimate fashion statement!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Stu:''' Anyone see Dil?
:'''Didi:''' He's been staying late at school for science club.
:'''Tommy:''' Dil's not in science club!
:'''Didi:''' No, but he's the subject of three different experiments.
:'''Stu and Tommy:''' Oh.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Stu:''' Hey champ, these are nice springs.  Where you'd get them?
:'''Tommy:''' Uh...borrowed 'em. ''(hurries out of the kitchen)''  Let's go!
:''[Didi opens the dishwasher, which crashes to the floor.  Tommy winces, and Didi taps her foot, frowning at him.  Tommy smiles sheepishly.]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tommy:''' The Socks-o-matic sorted correctly almost 98.4% of the time.  But...I still can't understand why it doesn't work on Dil's socks.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimi''': Heard of player pianos? We're making a whole player band
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Stu:''' I promised your mom we wouldn't stay up too late.
:'''Tommy:''' Uh, dad? That was three nights ago.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tommy:''' Mom has one.
:'''Stu:''' You mean the good silver one she guards like Fort Knox treasure?
:'''Tommy:''' Yeah, that one.
:'''Stu:''' We couldn't, could we?!
:'''Tommy''': Project's on permahold otherwise...
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimi:''' I've got to admit &amp;mdash; Nicholas hanging on your arm ''does'' make a statement!
:'''Lil:''' ''(fake smiles and has a monster voice)'' Yeah, it says...I'M HANGING WITH A BLITHERING IDIOT!
:'''Kimi:''' Huh?
:'''Lil:''' I've decided to drop the spitball project.  Instead, I'm doing a case study on Nicholas entitled: ''The Mind of the Mindless''.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chuckie:''' I know what you mean.  My dad still hasn't gotten over the day I told him I could button my own shirt.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mr. Beaker:''' ''(speaking to Tommy about his project)'' If any kid had entered a masterpiece like this, I would've suspected foul play.

===Izzy or Isn't He? ===
:'''Chuckie''': As long as I have your attention, I'd like to bring something to your attention.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chuckie''': Uh, a little advice, Dil, having an imaginary friend after a certain age is something one should keep to one's self.
:'''Dil''': I'm down with that, Safety Boy. I put the &quot;imaginary friend&quot; thing to bed when I was eight. Izzy's my imaginary alien friend.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Phil''': What? Lil's breath smells like feet? Izzy, that's harsh!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Phil (to Chuckie)''': You're running for what?!
:'''Chuckie''': Safety commissioner.
:'''Lil''': And why are you doing this?
:'''Chuckie''': (trying to open his locker) My whole life, safety has been like a loony uncle locked away in the attic. It's time I took off the shackles and let him into the good part of the house! I've got pretty good odds, too. The only other candidate is Amelia somebody. She is so quiet, no one knows who she is. (opens the locker door and hits Phil and Lil with it) See, this is just the thing that could easily have been avoided. (Slams locker door on Tommy's thumb)
:'''Tommy''': Somebody get a crowbar and some butter!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chuckie''': (to everyone else) (about Izzy) IT DOESN'T EVEN EXIST!
:Everyone Else: BOO (2 times), (throws everything at Chuckie)!

===Project Chuckie ===
:'''Angelica''': Chuckie, I have observed your tragic social skills, but because we've been friends since childhood, I want to make a difference in your life. I'm here to help.
:'''Chuckie''': Oh, this can't be good.
:'''Angelica''': Chuckie, you're, well... a gork. Those sad few beyond geek.
:'''Chuckie''': Not helping yet.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tommy''': Wait 'til yo hear your parts, guys.
:'''Lil''': I love the theater: the lights, costumes, make-up, applause.
:'''Phil touching Tommy''': Good. Now, how do you feel about a skit in a history assembly?
:'''Lil''': Hmm... yeah. Well, it is extra credit.
:'''Kimi''': I don't know. History is so passé.
:'''Tommy''': Not my version. These guys were cool, real rebels, the original American bad boys. It's going to rock; and I picked you guys over everyone.
:'''Phil touching Tommy''': No one else wanted to do it, right?
:'''Tommy''': That, too.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimi''': (about her part in the play) Who am I?!
:'''Tommy''': Are you ready? Kimi, Lil, you're... &quot;the people&quot;!
:'''Kimi &amp; Lil''': &quot;The people&quot;?!
:'''Tommy''': Yeah! They're, uh... important.
:'''Phil''': You know what, &quot;by the people, for the people&quot;.
.&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Phil''': (rapping/singing)
:'''Lil''': (after rehearsing the play) Cut! Thomas, were &quot;the people,&quot; by any chance, a chorus of idiots?!
:'''Kimi''': We want better parts!
:'''Tommy''': Sorry.
:'''Lil and Kimi''': Hm!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chuckie''': Just once, I'd like to know what it feels like to be genuinely popular.
:'''Lil''': Huh! And what are we, deformed mutants?
:'''Kimi''': Well, we are &quot;the people.&quot;
:'''Tommy''': Chuckie, we're popular.
:'''Chuckie''': No, we're normal - except maybe Phil.
:'''Phil''': Hey! (trips and makes Chuckie fall down.)

=== ''Fear of Falling'' ===
:''[Tommy gasps]''
:'''Phil:''' (to Tommy) What?! (to everyone else) Did you see somebody naked?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Angelica:''' ''(reading aloud the activities she's signing up for)'' Seaweed wrap, spa, pedicure, paraffin dip...
:'''Kimi:'''  ''(reading aloud the activities she's signing up for)'' Kayaking, mountain biking, hot yoga...
:'''Daniel (Instructor):''' I need one more victim for the tracker five hike.  Anyone interested?
:'''Angelica:''' As long as I'm signing...
:'''Daniel:''' Make sure to you wear sturdy hiking boots, travel light &amp;mdash; we'll hook up at 5 AM.
:''[Daniel leaves.]''
:'''Angelica''': It spent thirteen years in the making, but I finally met the guy who's worthy of my first kiss.
:'''Kimi:''' You might want to give him the heads up.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Olivia''': It's okay. Hey you're the guy who was spying on me through the telescope.
:'''Tommy:''' Spying is such a harsh word, I'd prefer to think of it as casual surveillance.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chuckie:''' Phil, can I ask you a personal question?
:'''Phil:''' Okay, I didn't shower before I got in.  But no one takes that rule seriously.
:''[Lifeguard blows his whistle, Phil stands up and gets hosed down.]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Phil:''' I don't know about her, but I do feel weird around Tommy when he's around Olivia. She's pretty nice though, and she didn't cry when I accidentally hit her in the head with a giant snowball.
:'''Chuckie:''' That was an accident?
:'''Phil:''' Okay, I was totally aiming for the head.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chuckie:''' Where have you been all day?
:'''Kimi:''' When Angelica bailed on her spa appointments, I felt so bad I volunteered to fill in.  And you know what?  It was the ''best'' day of my life!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tommy:''' You know, Chuckie, it's great hanging out with somebody you totally gel with &amp;mdash; who makes you laugh and cool.
:'''Chuckie:''' Thanks, man!  I feel the same way!
:'''Tommy:''' You like Olivia too?
:'''Chuckie:''' Oh.  I thought you meant &amp;mdash; never mind.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tommy:''' Olivia tried to kiss me yesterday!
:'''Chuckie:''' She did?  So, what did you do?
:'''Tommy:''' Oh, what any mature man of the world would do: I smashed a snowball in her face!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tommy:''' So, you think I'm ready for my first kiss?
:'''Chuckie:''' One of us has to be!  And I'm on hold until my braces come off.  Let me know if you hear bells.  Kimi says you do, but she might just be clowning on me.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tommy:''' I gotta go, I'm sorry I would love to stay for my second, third and if it's not pushing it fourth kiss, but I promised to meet Chuckie for phase three.
:'''Olivia:''' Go on, get out of here.
:'''Tommy:''' And for the record, I like you a lot better than snow.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chuckie:''' Why couldn't I have a phobia closer to the ground?  Like spiders...or zippers! I could repell down...or stay here all night and risk becoming a Chucksicle! ''(watches as a rock plunges to the depths)'' Chucksicle it is! ''(hears wolves howling in the distance)'' On the second thought, I need the exercise.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chuckie:''' And in case I don't make it back alive, I-I need to know one thing: did you kiss her?
:'''Tommy:''' Don't tell anybody, but...yeah, I kissed her, MY FIRST KISS!
:'''Angelica:''' His first kiss?! I'm gonna kill him!
: ---- 

:'''Kimi''': Wait a minute, if we're all here &amp;mdash; who's guarding the mountain?
:'''Phil:''' Nobody, we're not playing the game, we're hiding from Angelica.

== Season 3 ==
===The Finster Who Stole Christmas ===
:'''Tommy''': (while eating Chaz's gingerbread) This is some rockin' gingerbread!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimi''': (to Kira) I'm proud of you for keeping your cool.
:(Kira opens the cab door and a boy gets in)
:'''Kira''': (angrily) I'VE WAITED THROUGH 3 STATES AND 2 CONTINENTS! (grabs the boy out of the cab) I'VE BEEN PATIENT THROUGH 4 TIME ZONES! THIS CAB IS MINE! IT'S MINE! MINE!
=== ''Blind Man's Bluff'' [3.1] ===
:'''Tommy''': Not to mention they finally re-opened Whiplash Gorge.
:'''Phil''': After settling all these pesky lawsuits.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tommmy:''' Good call, Chuckie.  You have nothing to fear except fear itself.
:'''Chuckie:''' That's what I'm afraid of.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Stu''': ''(to Didi)'' This isn't going to be easy. But don't worry, I can handle it.
:''[Scence change with Tommy and Dil.]''
:'''Stu:''' Boys, I, uh... your mother wants to talk to you.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Didi''': So, you two have to pick up Grandpa Boris from the optometrist.
:'''Dil''': Nooooooooooooooooo!
:
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The next day, on the dock, Chuckie and Tommy ran in the boat]'' 
:'''Didi''': (bumps on a sticker bur) Ouch! 
:'''Chuckie''': What happened?
:'''Stu:''' Didi bumped on a sticker bur on the dock.
:''[Didi puts her hands on her hips and frowns at her husband.]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lil''': What is it, Chuck?
:'''Chuckie''': Just reading the fine print. Specifically, that Slosh Mountain is not responsible for extreme bodily harm.
:'''Phil''': Ah, you know lawyers. Always so worried about losing limbs. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Phil''': Ten bucks says I can throw up more times than anyone here.
:'''Kimi''': You're on!
:'''Lil''': Don't do it, Kimi. He has a wicked gag reflex.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Grandpa Boris:''' Don't touch me! I can walk fine! You didn't dilate my legs, did you?
:'''Doctor:''' Now, Mr. Krepotkin, the best thing is to rest your eyes while they're dilated like this. Maybe you should take a nice, long nap.
:'''Grandpa Boris:''' ''(facing a lamp)'' You take a nap! I'm not blind!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dil:''' You know, we could still go.
:'''Tommy:''' How?
:'''Dil:''' He can't see.  We'll park him somewhere, and tell him he's at the...senior center.
:'''Tommy:''' Dil, if mom and dad found out, we'd be toast!  Actually, we'd be lucky to be toast.  We'd be the bird stuff that we scrape off the toast.
:'''Dil:''' Bro'!  They won't find out.  As soon as we're there, we'll hit Whiplash Gorge &amp;mdash; in and out thirty minutes.
:'''Tommy:''' Oh, I don't know.
:'''Dil:''' Technically, they didn't say we couldn't go to Slosh Mountain.  They said we had to pick up grandpa.  Who says we can't do both?
:'''Tommy:''' It would be a shame to waste the tickets.
:'''Dil:''' Now you're talkin', T'! And just think of poor grandpa, stuck in that ''stuffy'' house all day with his broken eyes.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dil:''' Well, here we are, grandpa.  Good ol' senior center.
:'''Grandpa Boris:''' Why did you bring me here?  I ''hate'' this place!
:'''Tommy:''' You ''love'' the senior center.  All your friends are here!
:'''Grandpa Boris:''' What friends?!  Harry?  All he talks about are his golf stones.  Ira, that guy owes me ten bucks!  Anyway, are you sure this is the senior center?  It doesn't sound like it, ''(sniffs)'' or smell like it.
:'''Tommy:''' Well, uh, that's because it's Deep-fried Chocolate Bar Tuesday!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lil:''' This is it!  Whiplash Gorge: the only ride in the world with its own hospital!
:''[Lil, Chuckie, Phil, and Kimi watch as an ambulence pulls up carrying a man in his bathing suit with a bandaged head and a balloon.]''
:'''Phil:''' They're stuff of dreams.
:'''Chuckie:''' Bad dreams.
:'''Kimi:''' ''(looking at Whiplash Gorge)'' You'd have to be ''crazy'' to go on this thing. ''(changes tone from worry to excitement)''  Who's first?!
:'''Kid on Whiplash Gorge:''' Heellppp meeeeeee!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tommy:''' Just you know, if we never find him, this is all on you!
:'''Dil:''' I think we're looking at this the wrong way.  Maybe grandpas are like ''chickens''!  Some prefer the comfort and security of the hen-house, while others want to roam on the free range!
:'''Tommy:''' ''(exasperated)'' Do you even believe ''half'' the stuff that comes out of your mouth?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dil:''' How is it my fault?  You listened to a guy wearing a bathing suit and a ski cap &amp;mdash; how smart was ''that''?
:'''Tommy:''' You &amp;mdash; you used your hocus-pocus mind control junk on me!
:'''Dil:''' I didn't do that!  Besides, everyone knows it doesn't work around water.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimi''': ''(on walkie-talkie)'' Team Leader Alpha to Team Leader Delta. Report. Over.
:'''Lil''': This is Team Leader Delta. Over.
:'''Kimi''': Lil, what happened to Phil?
:'''Lil''': I relieved him of command. He was being an idiot.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Security chief:''' All right, you know why you're here.  Don't steal, et cetera.  Just watch this video about pool rules and you can go.
:'''Tommy:''' ''(raises his hand)'' Sir, we can explain.
:'''Security chief:''' Please don't.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Grandpa Boris cuts the line for Whiplash Gorge.]''
:'''Grandpa Boris:''' Oh, stuff it.  I'm a senior citizen, I can do whatever I want.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Grandpa Boris:''' ''(to security guard)'' You're not sending me back until I've gone on Whiplash Gorge!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Grandpa Boris:''' ...It's just &amp;mdash; well, when you're old, people don't let you have fun so much anymore.  I guess I got a little carried away!
:'''Tommy:''' You know, they don't always let you have fun as a kid either.
:'''Grandpa Boris:''' Um...maybe we keep this little adventure between us, heh?
:'''Chuckie:''' Deal.
:'''Dil:''' Now, ''that'' was mind control.
:'''Tommy:''' Hmm, I thought it didn't work around water.
:'''Dil:''' Oh, it does.
:''[Tommy gives him a look]''
:'''Dil:''' What?  I can't tell you everything.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Grandpa Boris:''' Sorry I did an stage-dive in between your number, Suezzle. But an old guy's gotta do, what an old guy's gotta do.
:'''Susie:''' Actually, the audience loved it ''so'' much, ''(Susie dances)'' we're booked for the next three weeks!  You up for a repeat performance?
:''[Susie and Grandpa Boris high-five each other.]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Didi:''' Hey you guys, how was the optometrist?
:'''Tommy:''' Oh, piece of cake!
:'''Dil:''' In and out in thirty minutes.
:'''Grandpa Boris:''' No big surprises.
:'''Didi:''' Well, we have a surprise for you boys.  We felt really awful about making you miss your trip, so...
:'''Stu:''' ...We got you season passes to Slosh Mountain!
:'''Tommy:''' For real?!
:'''Dil:''' Whoah!
:'''Didi:''' Look at you two, acting like responsible adults.  I'm so proud.  Tommy, Dil, how'd you boys get sunburned? And Dad, why do you smell like chlorine?

=== ''Yu-Gotta-Go'' [3.2] ===
:'''Phil''': I see something in your eyes, dude. Something I've never seen there before.
:'''Chuckie''': I call it amptitude, my man.
:'''Phil''': No, it's called eye crust. Don't you wash your face in the morning?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Charlotte''': You, young lady, are going to be responsible for cleaning the house for a whole week! Now, give me your phone!
:'''Angelica''': My... phone? ''[hugs her mother's leg]'' Oh, please! Not the phone! What if it's an emergency?! Like I'm late for class and don't know what time it is?!
:'''Charlotte''': Well, that's what a watch is for. A phone is for talking and taking digital pictures. ''[Angelica hands her her phone]'' It's about time you learned a little responsibility around here. Now, go get the pail, the mop and the detergent.
:'''Angelica''': Where are they?
:'''Charlotte''': I have no idea.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Chuckie''': (while reading Angelica's diary) Tried stuffing bra. Too lop-sided.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''[Chuckie is thinking about selling his father's stamp album to buy more Yu-Gotta-Go cards]''
:'''Tommy''': You can't sell your stamp album!
:'''Kimi''': ''[tries to take the album away]'' Yeah, Chuckie! Dad'll go ballistic! You know how veiny his head gets!
:'''Chuckie''': I'm not selling the whole thing. I'll trade one teensy little stamp for one deck of cards!
:'''Tommy''': If you do, you'll be sorry. Someday, you're gonna look in that mirror and you're not gonna like what you see.
:'''Chuckie''': What else is new? Oh, you're right. I can't do it.
:'''Tommy and Kimi''': ''[they both hi-five]'' Yes!
:'''Chuckie''': ''[rushes out]'' NOW I CAN!!
:'''Tommy and Kimi''': HEY!

=== ''The Curse of Reptar'' [3.3] ===
:'''Chuckie''': So there wasn't any curse of Reptar after all. Well, what do you know about that. Well, good night.
:'''Tommy''': That's it? After scaring everyone half to death, that's it?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lil''': So, why'd you even come, Angelica?
:'''Angelica''': Are you kidding? Don't you know it's always the gorgous girl with the naturally bouncy hair who stays behind in the house, and never makes it to the end of the movie? I'd be a goner.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dil''': You still think we'll get the pool, T? 'Cause I was thinking of expanding my sanctuary and calling it &quot;Habitat for Manitee.&quot;
:'''Tommy''': Pool, yes. Marine mammals, no.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tommy''': We found our old Reptar toy in the backyard and tossed him out. Now, Chuckie thinks that Reptar's mad at us.
:'''Angelica''': That is, like, the lamest thing I've ever heard.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Stu''': We're going to get you boys something every kid dreams of having.
:'''Angelica''': A home in Aspen?
:'''Dil''': A six week course in Portuguese?
:'''Chuckie''': Respect? 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Angelica''': This puts me on Tommy's side, which is a first I'm not particularly proud of.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Angelica''': You preteens are lucky your parents are smart enough to have someone my age around to figure these things out.
:'''Phil''': You know, she's right.
:'''Lil''': That may be the scariest thought all night.

=== ''It's Karma, Dude!'' [3.4] ===
:'''Susie''': Did she call me about the audition sign up?
:'''Tommy''': Yeah, she did. I heard her. I don't want to get hurt here.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Angelica''': (to Dil) How'd you do that?
:'''Dil''': What?
:'''Angelica''': The light-glow-warmth thing.

=== ''The Big Score'' [3.5] ===
:'''Betty''': How 'bout we squeeze in some &quot;Lil time&quot; tomorrow. After practice, we can have a girls night out.
:'''Lil''': We're not shopping for bras, are we?
:'''Betty''': That's your father's department.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lil''': Everything around here is always soccer, soccer, soccer.
:'''Phil''': Dad, can you put on the Soccer Channel?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Football Coach''': (Blows whistle) You expect to be on junior-junior varsity with no upper-body strength?! (Blows whistle)
:'''Angelica''': You're the coach! Why don't you show me how it's done?! Put your money where your big, fat mouth is!
:'''Football Coach''': That's some squawk box you got on you, Pickles. Any chance you'd be interested in a student coaching position?!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Angelica''': That's it! Sports - it's a guy magnet. I just need a sport.
:'''Susie''': You're forgetting one itsy-bitsy detail; you have no athletic ability what-so-ever.
:'''Angelica''': Yeah, but that sure doesn't stop Phil.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Pangborn''': (To soccer team) And just because we've lost every single game... ever... doesn't mean that today we can't lose by a little bit less.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Pangborn''': (To soccer team) Time to work on penalty shots, people! (Softly) 'Cause heaven knows you need it.

:'''Phil''': (to Tommy and Chuckie) Tell me the truth, answer me!
:'''Chuckie''': Mom, Dad, I don't wanna answer him the question!
:'''Phil''': Answer me, she (Wally)'s really good, ain't she?!
:'''Tommy''': (to Phil) Yeah!

=== ''Rats Race'' [3.6] ===
:'''Angelica''': (About Harold) That skunk! All that hard work, and he's the one who gets to go to Paris, France.
:'''Tommy''': You mean Paris, Texas? The finals are in Texas.
:'''Angelica''': Texas? You mean I risked my life for a trip to America's dust bowl?!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chuckie''': (Looking at soap box derby car diagram upside-down) Not a clue.
:(Tommy flips it right-side up)
:'''Chuckie''': Thanks, Tommy. Still no clue
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Phil''': This much money just to crash a car?
:'''Chuckie''': I'm out. Or was I already out? I forget.

=== ''Wouldn't It Be Nice?'' [3.7] ===
:'''Angelica''': It's all about having your own personality. That's why I need to get a nose ring exactly like Emica's.

=== ''Dude, Where's My Horse?'' [3.8] ===
:'''Phil''': (Singing to everyone) Home, home on the range. Where the deer and the antelope play. Where seldom is heard a discouraging word. And the skies are not cloudy all day. (Stops singing and probably evil laughs probably at everyone, to Lil) Not bad, huh?
:'''Lil''': I don't know you.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tommy''': Chuckie, I'm sorry I was kind of a jerk to you the other night.
:'''Chuckie''': Nah, you weren't a jerk, just testy, but you seem like you're in a good mood now, did you finally lasso the wooden cow?
:'''Tommy''': Nope, I finally accepted the fact that I'm the lamest cowboy on the planet, and I'm completely comfortable with it.
:'''Chuckie''': I've always said the key to happiness is... lowered expectations.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tommy''': Not everyone can expect to be a cowboy overnight.
:(Chuckie begins playing harmonica)
:'''Tommy''': When did you learn how to play the harmonica?
:Chuckie: I play the harmonica?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Angelica''': What are you looking at?
:'''Little Red''': Uh... I - I never met a city girl before. How did you get your hair so shiny?
:'''Angelica''': We bathe. 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:(On the bus, Angelica's kicking Tommy's seat)
:'''Tommy''': Angelica? Do you have to keep kicking my seat?
:'''Angelica''': No, I don't have to, but seeing as how you got us into this mess, it's my pleasure!

=== ''R.V. Having Fun Yet?'' [3.9] ===
:Kimi: Guess who I found digging through the trash?
:Phil: ''(holds hands up)'' I was here all night.

=== ''Ladies' Man'' [3.11] ===
'''Insert quote here'''

== Season 4 ==

===Separate But Equal [4.3]===
:'''Phil''': (to Lil) This is all your fault, you know?!
:'''Lil''': You're the one who wanted separate parties!

===Lost at Sea===
:'''Charlotte''': I gave everything to that company, this is how they repay me?! With a free stapler and a kick in the designer pants?! ''[blows her nose]''

===O Bro, Where Art Thou? [4.6]===
:'''Chuckie''': Not Clowns. Anything but Clowns. Don't Like 'em. Don't trust 'em. Don't want to be 'em.

===Rat Traps [4.7]===
:'''Dil''': (talking about the robbers) Those guys could be mutant androids that spit acid out of their eyes! (everyone stares at Dil blankly) That's it. No more PG-13 movies movie for me. I'm going back to epic romances.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chuckie''': Why is it that the guys with the glasses and the swollen adenoids always get picked on?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lil''': Brilliant idea, Phil. Suggesting that movie.
:'''Phil''': Since when do you listen to me? I'm a moron. Plus, Angelica's the one who made us come back in here.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:(While Susie and Angelica are counting money for charity)
:'''Susie''': Thirteen dollars, fifty-seven cents. How'd you do?
:'''Angelica''': (counting) Ten, eleven...six hundred forty-three dollars and one certified check.
:'''Susie''': How'd you do that?!
:'''Angelica''': It's nothin'! You should've seen me on my magazine drive. I had a nun in tears!

==Season 5==

===Susie Goes Bad Lite===
:&quot;Tommy&quot;: Fine I'll Show You

===Golden Boy===
:&quot;Tommy&quot;: Gotcha?

===Trading Places===
:&quot;Chuckie&quot;: These Two Brothers

===TP+KF===

:'''Tommy''': That has nothing to do with me liking Kimi!

===Super Hero Worship===
:&quot;Harold&quot;: Just As Well I Was Getting Nosy Smelling My Own Breath

===What's Love Got to Do with It?===
(Angelica whines.)
:'''Susie''': You didn't really think he was gonna go for you, did you?
:'''Angelica''': (Sobbing) No, and that's the worst part, liking someone so much and knowing, they'll never feel the same way about you!
:'''Susie''': Gee I wonder why?
:'''Angelica''': (still Sobbing) I know, how pathetic is that?! (Sobs, bangs on the clock and screams)

===All Broke Up===

:'''Dil''': I never wanted it to end this way. I love you like an... aunt, but you crossed the line, and then you stomped on it, lit it on fire, and danced on its ashes!
:'''Charlotte''': I know. That's why I'm so good at what I do. We could've had it all, you and I. Still, I have you to thank for getting me off my butt and bank into the game! ''[hugs Dil]'' I'll never forget you, little man.
:'''Dil''': And I'll never forget you, big woman.
[Phone Ringing} You'll Be Hearing from my lawyers

===Petition This===
:'''Susie''': I've done worse than undermine democracy. I've help bust up a family.
:'''Angelica''': You've done worse, and that was one hammy reading you just gave
:'''Susie''': This is our fault, we have to fix this.
:'''Angelica''': No way. I don't get involved in family business 
:'''Susie''': Since when, and even you know that their own children have to be there
:'''Angelica''': Especially if I could get blamed for them not showing
:'''Susie''': Your parents could punish you by taking away your cell phone.

===Brothers Grimm===

:'''Tommy''': (to Lil) How much gum are you chewing?
:'''Phil''': (to Tommy) Like ten sticks of it, anytime someone just mentions TV, boops, another stick goes in, it's like she's addicted or something
:'''Lil''': (Blows and pops a big pink bubble) I am not addicted I can quit anytime! (Phil takes away the gum) I am ''this'' close to being an only child!

===Bad Blood===
:&quot;Grandpa&quot;: I Scrub and Scrub But I Ever Feel Clean

==Characters==
:[[w:Tommy Pickles|Tommy]] - Voiced by [[w:Elizabeth Daily|E.G. Daily]]
:[[w:Chuckie Finster|Chuckie]] - Voiced by [[w:Nancy Cartwright|Nancy Cartwright]] (2003-2008)
:Phil and Lil (Tommy's best friend and Chuckie's girlfriend) - Voiced by [[w:Kath Soucie|Kath Soucie]]
:[[w:Angelica Pickles|Angelica]] (Tommy's cousin) - Voiced by [[w:Cheryl Chase|Cheryl Chase]]. 
:[[w:Dil Pickles|Dil Pickles]] (Tommy's little brother) - Voiced by [[w:Tara Strong|Tara Strong]] 
:[[w:Susie Carmichael|Susie]] (Phil's girlfriend) - Voiced by [[w:Cree Summer|Cree Summer]]
:[[w:Kimi Watanabe|Kimi]] (Tommy's girlfriend) - Voiced by [[w:Dionne Quan|Dionne Quan]]
:[[w:Harold Frumkin|Harold]] - Voiced by Pat Mussick. Angelica's boyfriend.
:Nicole - Voiced by Lizzy Murray in season 1 (2003-2004). Chuckie's former best friend.
:Edith - Voiced by Pat Musick. Chuckie's former best friend.
:Rachel (Tommy's former best friend) (who's friends with Thomanita (who was voiced by Christina Pucelli) - Voiced by Meagan Smith (2005)/Denise Pickering (2007-2008), latest appeared in &quot;All Broke Up&quot; as a former sidekick for Tommy

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:2000s American animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:2000s Nickelodeon original series]]
[[Category:American sequel TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:Teen animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Middle school TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Nicktoons]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about children]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about siblings]]</text>
      <sha1>4mxex7lkgyht7cqbwdyzrwksg7iugh3</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Frances Greville</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>91551</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943913</id>
      <parentid>3436059</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:46:19Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>removed [[Category:Women authors]]; added [[Category:Women authors from Ireland]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <origin>3943913</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="734" sha1="r35pncp3lbrmc9xucg0hux0n44bsz48" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Mrs Crewe (Thomas Gainsborough).jpg|thumb|Frances Crewe, by [[Thomas Gainsborough]]]]

'''[[w:Frances Greville|Frances &quot;Fanny&quot; Greville]]''' (c [[1724]] – [[1789]]) was an [[w:Irish people|Irish]] poet and celebrity in [[w:George II of Great Britain|Georgian]] England.
{{author-stub}}

==Quotes==
*Nor peace nor ease the heart can know&lt;br&gt;Which, like the needle true,&lt;br&gt;Turns at the touch of joy or woe,&lt;br&gt;But turning, trembles too.
**''A Prayer for Indifference'', reported in ''Bartlett's Familiar Quotations'', 10th ed. (1919).

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Greville, Frances}}
[[Category:1720s births]]
[[Category:1789 deaths]]
[[Category:Poets from Ireland]]
[[Category:Women authors from Ireland]]</text>
      <sha1>r35pncp3lbrmc9xucg0hux0n44bsz48</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943914</id>
      <parentid>3943913</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:46:38Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>added [[Category:Women born before the 19th century]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <origin>3943914</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="782" sha1="pfdovigkx9f74v0v154r2aqtqy5o113" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Mrs Crewe (Thomas Gainsborough).jpg|thumb|Frances Crewe, by [[Thomas Gainsborough]]]]

'''[[w:Frances Greville|Frances &quot;Fanny&quot; Greville]]''' (c [[1724]] – [[1789]]) was an [[w:Irish people|Irish]] poet and celebrity in [[w:George II of Great Britain|Georgian]] England.
{{author-stub}}

==Quotes==
*Nor peace nor ease the heart can know&lt;br&gt;Which, like the needle true,&lt;br&gt;Turns at the touch of joy or woe,&lt;br&gt;But turning, trembles too.
**''A Prayer for Indifference'', reported in ''Bartlett's Familiar Quotations'', 10th ed. (1919).

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Greville, Frances}}
[[Category:1720s births]]
[[Category:1789 deaths]]
[[Category:Poets from Ireland]]
[[Category:Women authors from Ireland]]
[[Category:Women born before the 19th century]]</text>
      <sha1>pfdovigkx9f74v0v154r2aqtqy5o113</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>WrestleMania</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>92203</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944009</id>
      <parentid>3941456</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T18:26:33Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Azn1771153</username>
        <id>3300815</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* {{w|WrestleMania VIII}} (1992) */</comment>
      <origin>3944009</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="229921" sha1="kp0kmjmr7az8eskdz6179tvgqgmp3g8" xml:space="preserve">'''WrestleMania''' is a {{w|professional wrestling}} {{w|pay-per-view|pay-per-view}} event, produced annually in late-March or early-April by {{w|World Wrestling Entertainment}} (WWE) (formerly known as World Wrestling Federation). It is considered the flagship pay-per-view event of WWE, as it is the most successful, longest-running professional wrestling event in the world and is nicknamed &quot;The Grandaddy of Them All&quot;, &quot;The Grandest Stage of Them All&quot; and &quot;The Showcase of Immortals&quot;.

=={{w|WrestleMania I|WrestleMania (1985)}}==
:'''{{w|Howard Finkel}}''': Welcome to Wrestlemania!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|Jesse Ventura|Jesse &quot;The Body&quot; Ventura}}''': Woodstock was to rock and roll, what WrestleMania is to wrestling.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|Gene Okerlund|Mean Gene Okerlund}}''': Finally, your men, in a very controversial match...
:'''{{w|Freddie Blassie|&quot;Classy&quot; Freddie Blassie}}''': What do you mean &quot;controversial&quot;? He pinned him right in the center of the ring, didn't he? Did he or did he not pin him for the count of three?
:'''Mean Gene''': Where's that cane of yours?
:'''Blassie''': ''What'' cane? I...didn't have no cane!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mean Gene''': All right, we're just moments away from the big one. When I say big, the battle of the titans. Big John Studd, Bobby Heenan, come in. Andre the Giant putting his entire career on the line.
:'''{{w|Big John Studd}}''': Oh man, this bag is heavy man! This is what it was all about. $15,000 that we used for bait. John Studd, the only giant of wrestling. 7 foot plus, nearly 400 pounds of solid muscle. And this is what we wanted to prove to the whole world that I am the giant in a few short moments, along with this $15,000. You're going to see me in the ring and you're going to see the last match of Andrea because he retires if he can't do it.
:'''Mean Gene''': Bobby Heenan, I'm just counting the money here.
:'''{{w|Bobby Heenan|Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan}}''': You know what we did, just keep your hands to yourself here. For $15,000 and a haircut, we are eliminating Andre the Giant from professional wrestling. Oh yeah, a lot of glad-handlers out here today. Keep your hands out of there pal! Only two people are going to see this money. That's Studd and myself. Oh, three, the people at the bank when we deposit the money. But not the Giant.
:'''Mean Gene''': Stand by! It's upcoming. ''[to Heenan]'' I know.
:'''Bobby''': He's retired, he's done, he's done and don't you touch our money.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jesse''': I've seen plenty of anticlimactic Super Bowls in my day, I've seen a lot of lousy NBA Championships in my day, but we definitely are not seeing...we're seeing the greatest spectacle in wrestling history right now.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|Hulk Hogan}}''': WrestleMania, Hulk Hogan, [[w:Mr. T|Mr. T]], [[w:Jimmy Snuka|Superfly Jimmy Snuka]]: we reign supreme, can you dig that?!

=={{w|WrestleMania 2}} (1986)==
:'''{{w|Lou Duva}}''': He's the prospect, I think of the heavyweights out there today, he the best prospect known. He's trained diligently, he's in real good shape. Heavyweight's one punch and it's all over. Tonight, he's in shape and he's going to do his job. Right Roddy?
:'''{{w|Roddy Piper|Rowdy Roddy Piper}}''': I'm cute. I groomed my hair long, that way during the fight tonight, you can tell the difference between me and T. I figured some of you folks out there may get a little confused. I have got the absolute best coach in the entire world to train me. I've been down with Biggs training, with Spinks training. He went and got Smokin' Joe Frazier in his corner. Are you ribbing me? He threw a medicine ball at my belly. Didn't move an inch! I'm down to 219 pounds in 30 minutes. You see, he talks cheap! So you say Roddy, you're sitting there talking? I say this to you! I say if Mr. T can knock me out in this fight right here, I would not only quit professional boxing, I would quit and retire from professional wrestling, I will quit tiddlywinks, I will quit dating girls! ''[To Cowboy Bob Orton]'' I'd stick with you. I would quit it all! I right now say if T can knock me out, I will retire and I'm going to stick my head out there round after round after round and put it out there because as pretty as it is, he's going to shoot some punches, I'm going to be moving like that just like coach taught me. He's gonna shoot some more, I'm going to be moving like that. And another thing, you know Mr. T, I know you're a smart aleck. You come out with a kilt, but let me tell you something, never will I shave my hair like an Indian and paint myself black. Too-hoo!
 
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''{{w|Susan Saint James}}''': All right, [[w:George Steele|George]], eat {{w|Randy Savage|his}} leg!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jesse &quot;The Body&quot; Ventura''': Hogan, your ribs are injured, you're facing the biggest, toughest man I believe you've ever faced in your career in {{w|King Kong Bundy}} inside a steel cage. Man, I can't believe you'd do something like that as {{w|WWE World Heavyweight Championship|Champion of the world}}!
:'''Hulk Hogan''': Well, you know, Ventura, I don't care what you believe, brother. You're gettin' paid to ask the questions. Whether my ribs are busted up or not, I'm gonna defend this World Heavyweight Title, man. It's everything I believe in, all those little Hulksters, and it stands for America, brother! Bundy's goin' down, it doesn't matter about the ribs, Ventura. And as far as Mr. T and Rowdy Roddy Piper: I'm gonna make a prediction that Mr. T's gonna come out on top because he's fightin' for what he believes in too; and Piper, just like a lot of other dudes out here ''[pointing thumb at Ventura]'', like you, Ventura, take a lot of shortcuts and go down awful quick!
:'''Jesse''': I'll just say this: good guys don't always finish first.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Howard Finkel''': Ladies and gentlemen, in the fourth round, the referee stops this bout, he awards the decision as a result of a disqualification to Mr. T!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Piper''': If I wanted to come for a picnic, T, I would've packed a lunch.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[During the {{w|Stan Frazier|Uncle Elmer}} v. {{w|Adrian Adonis|Adorable Adrian Adonis}} match]''
:'''{{w|Cassandra Peterson|Elvira}}''': I have never seen so much cellulite in one place at one time, I don't think.
:'''Jesse''': Between the both of them?
:'''Elvira''': No, I was just talking about Adonis.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Elvira''': I never trust a man who wears pink legwarmers.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan''': No more Hulkamania, no more Hulk this, Hulk that. It's ''Bundy''mania from now on.
:...
:'''Susan St. James''': Bundymania? It doesn't even sound good.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jesse''': Hulk is coming back with a tape of his own. Now, {{w|Alfred Hayes (wrestler)|Alfred Hayes}}, what do you got to say about the champion?
:'''Lord Alfred Hayes''': Well, that's tit-for-tat, Jesse. What's good for the goose, is good for the gander.
:'''Jesse''': I figured an Englishman like you'd come up with something like that!
:'''Elvira''': You jealous because you don't have a [[w:Hulk Hogan's Rock 'n' Wrestling|cartoon show]], Jesse?
:'''Jesse''': Don't you get on my case either, Elvira, or you won't go out with me later!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jesse''': Someday, sometime, he's gonna have to showdown with me.
:'''Elvira''': If you win, I'll go out with you.

=={{w|WrestleMania III}} (1987)==
:'''{{w|Vince McMahon}}''': Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the magnificent Silverdome! And welcome to Wrestlemania III! And now here to sing America The Beautiful - the Queen of Soul - Ms. [[Aretha Franklin]]!!!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|Bob Uecker}}''': Little Beaver reminds me of a girl I went with about 25 years ago. She had the same haircut.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Uecker''': Hey! You see what, hey!
:'''Jesse &quot;The Body&quot; Ventura''': What happened there?
:'''Uecker''': Little Beaver just gave Bundy a shot in the boiler.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Uecker''': It's {{w|The Fabulous Moolah|Moolah}}! She's here! No wonder you guys are here all the time! The moon is full and so am I! I gotta get with Moolah! I'm leavin', see you guys later!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|Gorilla Monsoon}}''': Look at that, Jess. This is unfair, the outside help to get your man back on his feet.
:'''Jesse''': You're calling that ''help''? He threw him right into the [[w:Junkyard Dog|JYD]].
:...
:'''Jesse''': What's a manager for, Monsoon?
:'''Gorilla''': A [[manager]]'s to give advice, not to physically get involved.
:'''Jesse''': You're starting to irritate me a little.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vince''': Heavyweight champion of the world in the locker room just one hour away from his moment of destiny. 
:'''Hulk Hogan''': Well you know they said it was my last ride man! Yesterday when I finished hanging and banging. When I jumped on the Harley man. As I went thru the intersection. As I headed for the mountains, some of the nonbelievers in the gym said, &quot;See ya later Hulkster, man! This is your last ride.&quot; It ate me alive brothers. When I felt the fury as I ripped, as I tore this shirt, as I headed for the sunset man, I looked down brothers, and as the sun beamed off the gold in my eyes, I realized that sooner or later, you gotta live and die and you gotta face the truth. And for you, Andre the Giant, it's time to face the truth brother. Because when I think about what you and I have to do man. What I have to do is nothing. All I have to do is merely beat a seven foot four 550 pound giant. But Andre, you've gotta face the truth brother. In its purest form man. The purest truth there is man. The training, saying your prayers, eating the vitamins. And to beat me man, You've got to beat every little Hulkamaniac, every little Hulkster in the world. Everyone that plays it straight. All the ones that don't take any shortcuts brother. And they usually say &quot;If the dirty air don't get you, the politicians will.&quot; But in this case. It's going to be Hulkamania. And the reason it's going to get you man, it's the purest form of the truth there is. And I can't wait to see you go down at the feet of Hulkamania in front of 90,000 plus in the Silverdome. What you gonna do Andre The Giant when the real truth, the 24 inch pythons and Hulkamania runs wild on you?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Bobby Heenan comes into the broadcast booth during the Rougeau Brothers/Dream Team match]''
:'''Gorilla''': The weasel has just snuck into the broadcast booth. What are you doing here, Heenan?
:'''Jesse''': Welcome to ''Wrestlemania III''.
:'''Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan''': Thank you Jesse. First of all, I'll speak at any place. I am two for two, Monsoon! Two for two! {{w|Billy Jack Haynes|Billy}} ''Jerk'' did not beat {{w|Hercules (wrestler)|my man}}! As far as I'm concerned...
:'''Gorilla''': Well, ''your'' man didn't win either.
:'''Bobby''': Just a minute, I'm talking 'cause I'm on a roll here! What happened was he ''knew'' he couldn't beat Hercules, so he kept him outside; as far as the Brain's concerned, that's a victory, we win that one! The {{w|Harley Race|King}}—you saw ''him'' in the chair, he left with the crown; the miserable {{w|Junkyard Dog}}, he bowed, he curtsied, he did everything we said he'd do! I am on a roll, I am 2-0
:'''Jesse''': Bobby, I'd just like to say—and I went on the record with this—I thought that was the biggest cheap shot I'd ever seen, when the JYD hit the King Harley Race with that chair.
:'''Gorilla''': Let me clear something up here a minute, Brain. You're one-for-three in ''my'' book—you didn't win the Hernandez match, King Kong Bundy lost.
:'''Bobby''': I wasn't out there for that match.
:'''Gorilla''': I don't care, he was still one of your men.
:'''Bobby''': I don't care about midgets. I don't even deal with midgets. I don't like midgets. Forget that match. Talk about my career! What I am doing. I'm making history here at Pontiac Silverdome. 2-0!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[After the Dream Team wins due to {{w|Dino Bravo}}'s interference.]''
:'''Gorilla''': I suppose you call that fair, Brain.
:'''Bobby''': A win's a win. When you're at WrestleMania, you take what you can get. It's not easy. They got a win. I got two wins and I'm going to have three wins today!
:''[Bravo and Johnny Valiant pull Greg Valentine out of the ring and leave {{w|Brutus Beefcake}} inside]''
:'''Gorilla''': Look at this. Look at these three beauties, they left Bruti inside..
:'''Howard Finkel''': The winners of this contest: The Dream Team, Brutus Beefcake and Greg &quot;The Hammer&quot; Valentine!
:'''Gorilla''': Well, Beefcake isn't celebrating the victory is he?
:'''Bobby''': Am I on a roll or am I on a roll?
:'''Jesse''': What's the matter with that idiot Beefcake? They got the win. What's he arguing about?
:'''Gorilla''': I don't know. A lot of dissension among the ranks of the Dream Team for sure.
:''[Valiant, Bravo and Valentine get on the cart and leave]''
:'''Jesse''': Hey, they're leaving Beefcake!
:'''Gorilla''': Look at this! They're leaving Bruti behind.
:'''Jesse''': They're leaving him! I can't believe this. What's the matter with Beefcake? What's the matter with him? He gets the winner's money!
:'''Gorilla''': What's the matter with Johnny V and the rest of his crew? Why are they leaving this guy behind?
:'''Jesse''': I can't believe this.  I can't believe Beefcake. He wins the match.
:'''Gorilla''': There they go. Special match upcoming. The adorable one, Adrian Adonis and Rowdy Roddy Piper. A lot of interesting things led up to this one.
:'''Bobby''': How am I doing, Monsoon? Huh? How am I doing?
:'''Gorilla''': Horrible.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Howard''': Ladies and gentlemen, at this time I would like to introduce to you a man who allegedly tells it like it is—Jesse &quot;The Body&quot; Ventura!
:'''Jesse''': Hey, what are you talkin' about, &quot;allegedly&quot; tells it like it is. I ''am'' the man who tells it like it is!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|Mary Hart}}''': Can we just clear one thing up? It's very important for everybody to understand that {{w|Jimmy Hart|Jimmy}} and I are not related. At one time, I might have wanted to claim that, but since he has {{w|Dangerous Danny Davis|Danny}} on his team, and Danny is not exactly...I just wanna let everybody know that as much as I'd like to be rooting for {{w|The Hart Foundation}}, I just can't under the circumstances.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Mary''': We're going to have to rename Dynamite, Firecracker if he doesn't shape up now.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Mean Gene Okerlund''': With me at this time, manager Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan, and I'm privileged to be standing next to the most extraordinary athlete of all time. He is not elected until this date to challenge Hulk Hogan for the Heavyweight Championship, and this afternoon at WrestleMania III, Bobby Heenan, your man, {{w|André the Giant}} will be doing just that. 
:'''Bobby''': You bet he's going to be doing just that. He's going to become the heavyweight champion of the world and I'll tell you why. First of all, the man is undefeated in over 15 years as a professional athlete. Hulk Hogan has never been in the ring or met a man bigger than him, stronger than him, taller than him, that weighs more than him, and with a burning will inside more than Andre the Giant. You see Hogan, few short hours from now that clock is ticking, and it's ticking in our direction, not yours. Hulkamania is over. Hulkamania is dead. The doors going to be shut on the history books on Hulk Hogan once and for all. There is a new Heavyweight Champion of the world. The odds on favorite in Las Vegas and all over the whole wrestling world, they're picking Andre the Giant. Nobody can defeat this man. Nobody even can come close to defeating this man. And Hogan, I know it's happening to you now because it's happening to me. The butterflies are in my stomach. The adrenaline's flowing thru my veins and I'm getting ready, 'cause I'm gonna manage the Heavyweight Champion of the world. And Hogan, hey you've had three good years. You've got nothing to look back on. But it's all over. Andre the Giant, the new heavyweight champion of the world. 
:'''Mean Gene''': The biggest Heavyweight Title bout of all time. Andre the Giant to meet Hulk Hogan.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': Jess, I wanna go on record of saying ''you'' were one of the guys—you and the weasel-breath Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan—who said that {{w|Ricky Steamboat|this guy}} would never step back in the ring.
:'''Jesse''': Well, I'll go on the record, he surprised me. You know, they said he's got a lot of heart; but I personally say he's got a lot of throat, because it wasn't the heart that got hurt.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Savage has sent Steamboat over the railing into the crowd]''
:'''Jesse''': What's Dave Hebner doing? He should be counting Steamboat right here.
:'''Gorilla''': He's reprimanding the champion.
:'''Jesse''': ''[As George Steele is helping Steamboat back in the ring]'' Yeah, but he's giving Steamboat a chance to recover and he's letting Animal Steele out there. Now look at, you talked earlier on about how managers should not be touching people and helping people–look what's going on out there.
:'''Gorilla''': He's not a manager, he's a friend.
:'''Jesse''': Oh that's different then. He should've been counted out by Dave Hebner, the referee. I've already counted to 20.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': ''[after Savage kicks Steamboat in the head]'' Oh, he put his head down. I don't blame him, he's probably exhausted.
:''[Savage runs at Steamboat, who backdrops him over the top rope]''
:'''Gorilla and Jesse''': OH!!!
:'''Gorilla''': Backdropped right over the top.
:'''Jesse''': That should be a disqualification. That was an intentional throw over the top by Steamboat to save himself.
:'''Gorilla''': Just like the deliberate clothesline; I'd say they're even right now, Jess.
:'''Jesse''': I tell you, you got an answer for everything, Gorilla.
:'''Gorilla''': Well, that's why I'm here—to keep you in line.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[As Savage climbs to the top rope with the bell, Steele shoves him off]''
:'''Jesse''': Flagrant interference from the outside.
:'''Gorilla''': The Animal pushed him right off. I think the bell rang Savage in the head, Jess. But the champ still in control... ''[Savage attempts to body slam Steamboat, who grabs the leg and rolls into a small package]'' No, small package by the Dragon.
:''[Hebner counts to three]''
:'''Jesse''': No!
:'''Gorilla''': He got him! I don't believe it! History is made!
:'''Jesse''': You talk about a miscarriage of justice, Monsoon! Flagrant outside interference on the part of Animal Steele!
:'''Gorilla''': History made here in the Silverdome for WrestleMania III!
:'''Howard''': Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this contest...and NEW Intercontinental Champion: Ricky &quot;The Dragon&quot; Steamboat!
:'''Gorilla''': Standing ovation by this capacity crowd, Elizabeth was in tears, Ricky &quot;The Dragon&quot; Steamboat the new Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion.
:'''Jesse''': Well, all I've got to say, Gorilla Monsoon, is that Steamboat'd better cut that belt in half and give half of it to George &quot;The Animal&quot; Steele, because without &quot;Animal&quot; Steele's flagrant interference, &quot;Macho Man&quot; Randy Savage would've won; he had Steamboat pinned for 30 or 40 seconds. Deny that.
:'''Gorilla''': But the referee was out of it, Jess. I'm not denying that fact.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': I don't wanna hear the {{w|Honky Tonk Man}} sing.
:'''Jesse''': Really? You'd rather hear {{w|Alice Cooper|Alice}} sing?
:'''Gorilla''': Well, yeah, or anybody else, for that matter.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jesse''': I'd like to see Jimmy Hart get his hands on Alice Cooper.
:'''Gorilla''': Please, are you kidding? All 101 pounds of him.
:'''Jesse''': Hey, Alice don't weigh but about 112 and a quarter.
:'''Gorilla''': Yeah, but Alice's got snakes, Jess.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Howard''': Ladies and Gentleman, may I have your attention please? I have just been informed that we have a very special announcement and here to give the announcement is the World Wrestling Federation's own - Mean Gene Okerlund!
:''[Mean Gene enters the ring to a huge round of applause and then grabs the microphone to make the history making announcement]''
:'''Mean Gene''': Alright, Ladies and gentlemen. We all are part of history in the making here this afternoon for WrestleMania III. I have come to the Silverdome, like you to be part of this historic date: March the twenty-ninth 1987. Thanks to our millions of fans all around the world, and a special thanks as we have established - all of us - a brand new indoor attendance record - of 93,173. Give yourself a big hand.
:''[The audience cheers as the spotlights roam the arena]''
:'''Jesse''': Wow!
:'''Gorilla''': 93,173 here in the Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan.
:'''Mean Gene''': Let's hear it!
:'''Gorilla''': History has indeed been made.
:'''Jesse''': Bigger than the Rolling Stones.
:'''Gorilla''': You got that right.
:'''Jesse''': Broke the record that the [[w:Rolling Stone US Tour 1978|Rolling Stones set in New Orleans]]. 93,173 — Gorilla, did they count you and I in that, or is it 175?
:'''Gorilla''': I don't think they counted you and I, Jess.
:'''Jesse''': Well then I think we should bump it up two more.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Nikolai Volkoff is starting to sing the Soviet National Anthem prior to the match between The Killer Bees and himself and The Iron Sheik when {{w|Jim Duggan|Hacksaw Jim Duggan}} runs down the aisle and chases them outside the ring.]''
:'''Hacksaw Jim Duggan''': Volkoff. Volkoff understand one thing, you're not singing that Russian National Anthem. Because this is the land of the free, and the home of the brave!!!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Mean Gene''': Andre the Giant, just moments away from your stepping through the ropes and into the ring to meet Hulk Hogan in the biggest title match of all time. I want to get your thoughts. 
:'''André The Giant''': Gene, you see me now. And I'm going to the ring and believe me, it's not going to take me too long to come back right in front of the camera with the World Championship belt around my waist. 
:'''Mean Gene''': Bobby? 
:'''Bobby''': Oh I can feel it. Oh the adrenaline's going! This man right here is going to make me famous. He's going to become the Heavyweight Champion of the world, and I'm going to go down in the history books as the manager of the World's Heavyweight Champion. I'm ready. Hogan, you'd better be ready!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Mean Gene''': Moments away from the biggest Heavyweight Title defense for this man ever. Hulk Hogan, you've got to be ready. 
:'''Hogan''': Well you know, I hope Pontiac, Michigan recovers, man! I'm glad I snuck in early last night, brother! I didn't ''realize'' the interstates, the Pontiac Silverdome was in danger! ''Not'' the 90,000 plus on the inside! It's the 90,000 plus on the outside of the Silverdome! ''Those'' are the ones I'm worried about, because when I get my hands on that big nasty giant, when he faces the truth, when he feels the wrath of Hulkamania, the day the whole Earth is going to shake! What are those 90,000 plus Hulkamaniacs on the outside gonna think? I'm not worried about the people on the closed circuit. I'm not worried about the people all around the world. They'll see it! But the intensity of Hulkamania, the way it's turned this whole state upside down, the way the whole world's turned upside down, ''what are they gonna think when the giant hits the ground, he feels the wrath of Hulkamania and the whole world shakes at my feet''? 
:'''Mean Gene''': We could conceivably blow the roof off this great facility, the Silverdome.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jesse''': ''[said at every WrestleMania]'' I wanna say hi to Terry, Tyrel, and Jade in Minneapolis.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Uecker''': This is the main event of the evening. It is for the World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Championship. Scheduled for one fall with a one hour time limit. First, the challenger, accompanied by his manager, Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan. He hails from Grenoble in the French Alps. He weighs 520 pounds...Andre the Giant!
:'''Gorilla''': An awesome figure. The 7'5&quot; frame of Andre the Giant who has literally been brainwashed by that man right there, Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan.
:'''Jesse''': No, I disagree with you a little, Gorilla. The man has never had a championship title match. Don't you feel, in a 15-year illustrious career, that he should be granted one shot at the title?
:'''Gorilla''': Jess, the man never, #1, asked for a title match, and #2, never ''wanted'' a title match. To my knowledge.
:'''Jesse''': [''overlapping''] He—never wanted it? Well, to your knowledge is wrong, because right here he's got one, and he definitely asked for it—he ripped the shirt off the champion, as well as the crucifix. I figure that's a direct way of asking for it.
:'''Gorilla''': Yeah, it certainly is, but all that came at the provocation of that guy right there with the white waiter's jacket on, Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan.
:'''Jesse''': There he is: 7'5&quot;, 525, neck 24, chest 71, biceps 21, hands 16, wrists 11 inches, forearms 17, thighs 36, calves 22.
:'''Gorilla''': We could be looking at the next heavyweight champion of the world.
:'''Jesse''': And I just gave you the tale of the tape!
:'''Uecker''': And now his opponent. He is from Venice Beach, California...
:''[Hulk Hogan's theme song &quot;Real American&quot; is played]''
:'''Uecker''': Weighing in at 294 pounds. He is the World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Champion, Hulk Hogan!
:'''Gorilla''': The roof of the Silverdome about to explode here! As the Hulkster greets...and these 93,000 plus greet him. You're looking at the greatest professional athlete in the world today. The world's heavyweight champion.
:'''Jesse''': For right now, Gorilla, he may not be a few moments from now. Let me run it down. Hogan: 6'8&quot;, 294, neck 21, chest 58, biceps at a phenomenal 24 inches, forearms 18, wrists 9 inches, hands 13 and a half, thighs 30 and a half, calves 20, the tale of the tape!
:'''Gorilla''': A phenomenal individual. And Hulkamania— look at it, Jess. It's alive, and running well.
:'''Jesse''': You got 93,173 fans standing on their feet for this one, Gorilla, and I hope my voice holds up!
:'''Gorilla''': It's holding up just fine, Jess! And look at the Hulkster. What an unbelievable individual he is. And what a representative as the world's heavyweight champion.
:'''Jesse''': This is the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling.
:'''Gorilla''': No question. This is the final time, Jess—win, lose or draw for the Hulkster—to wear that particular belt to the ring.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': Look at the stare of the champion against the challenger. The irresistible force meeting the immovable object.
:'''Jesse''': Look at the size of the Giant! I mean Hogan is 6'8&quot;!
:'''Gorilla''': Andre is 7'5&quot;! The bell has gone, this one is officially underway. Look at the look of disdain on the face of Andre.
:'''Jesse''': What's Hogan saying to him, I wonder? What could Hogan possibly be saying to him?
:'''Gorilla''': Certainly like to be able to read lips at this point.
:'''Jesse''': He's almost, he's hulking up right now!
:'''Gorilla''': Shove by Andre and the champion retaliates. Oh, big right hand blocked by the champion and the Hulkster unloading! Going for a slam! Oh, he almost got him up. Oh, he collapsed! One, two. ''[Hulk kicks out]'' Two count only.
:'''Jesse''': Two count? Was that two or was that three?
:'''Gorilla''': Two count only.
:'''Jesse''': Ooh, that was close, Gorilla!
:'''Gorilla''': Shoulder was up.
:'''Jesse''': Oh, was that close. Andre thinks he's won it just like that. Hogan is hurt! Hogan went for a bodyslam early in the bout and he may have injured his back.
:'''Gorilla''': May have hurt that lower back area for sure with that extreme weight of Andre the Giant. Referee showing the timekeeper that it was a two count and the shoulder came up.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': He's hulking up, Jess! We're seeing what this guy is made of! What he is! The greatest professional athlete in the world today-- 

:''[Hulk Hogan scoops up Andre the Giant]''

:'''Gorilla''': Look at this!
:'''Jesse''': HE SLAMMED HIM!
:'''Gorilla''': ''[overlapping]'': HE SLAMMED THE GIANT!
:'''Jesse''': I DON'T BELIEVE IT! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
:'''Gorilla''': Hulk dropping the big leg! Over for the cover! ''[Hulk pins Andre]'' IT'S OVER!
:'''Jesse''': HE GOT HIM! UNBELIEVABLE! I never thought it could be done Gorilla!
:'''Gorilla''': Neither did these 93,000 plus as the world's heavyweight champion, Hulk Hogan has proven to everyone what he's made of.
:'''Jesse''': What can I say? I never thought it could be done, Gorilla Monsoon.
:'''Gorilla''': He's thanking the guy upstairs Jess, as he always does. Let's get the official announcement.
:'''Uecker''': The winner of the bout, and still World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Champion — Hulk Hogan!!
:'''Gorilla''': Listen to the ovation. He is truly a Real American Jess. 
:'''Jesse''': What could I say? I'm the man who tells it like it is. I'll give credit where credit is due. I never thought the man could ever defeat Andre the Giant.
:'''Gorilla''': Never underestimate the ability of the World's Heavyweight Champion Hulk Hogan - he proved a lot of guys wrong Jesse.
:'''Jesse''': That he did Gorilla. 
:'''Gorilla''': You're looking at a tremendous individual. ''[Andre and Bobby Heenan prepare to leave the arena, but not before Andre threatens Hulk saying &quot;{{W|I'll be back}}&quot;]''
:'''Jesse''': That's the first time in 15 years that Andre the Giant had ever been defeated.
:'''Gorilla''': Ever been slammed for that matter Jesse.
:'''Jesse''': Wow. And that's 525 lbs. and that's not dead barbell weight, that's 525 pounds of living flesh that he picked up and slammed.

=={{w|WrestleMania IV}} (1988)==
:'''Jesse &quot;The Body&quot; Ventura''': You know Uecker, if Vanna White is great taste then she's less filling then.
:'''Bob Uecker''': Yes I'm really familiar with that.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jesse''': Hey Uecker! I'll bet you never saw anything like this when you were in baseball!
:'''Uecker''': Nah, this looks like the final day of cut down day in Spring Training!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Uecker''': ''[during the invitational battle royal]'' Dr. Frank Jobe would have a picnic at this thing.
:'''Jesse''': Hey, Uecker, know something?
:'''Uecker''': Yeah, what?
:'''Jesse''': With your lifetime batting average of .200, that means with every swing, you could only hit one guy out of five.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Uecker''': Well, at least the guys that went out first got their per diem money.
:'''Gorilla Monsoon''': Well...
:'''Uecker''': You know what I mean?
:'''Gorilla''': Yes, I know.
:'''Uecker''': It's the only way to go.
:'''Gorilla''': Please! I'm going to have trouble broadcasting with the Body and Uecker here.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Uecker''': ''[After Ken Patera eliminated Nikolai Volkoff, he gets Boris Zhukoff out as well]'' Hey U.S.A is in! Yes sir!
:'''Jesse''': ''[Bad News Brown eliminates Patera from behind]'' Yeah there ''went'' U.S.A., Uecker.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jesse''': That's kinda like talking to the third base coach before you lay down the bunt, Uecker. Then again, in your case, Ueck, you gotta make contact with the ball.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|Robin Leach}}''': ''[reading proclamation]'' &quot;Whereas the World Wrestling Federation has experienced certain extraordinary circumstances concerning the Championship, and whereas the World Wrestling Federation sought to establish a fair and just way to diligently determine who should be the undisputed WWF Champion, and whereas WrestleMania IV has selected as the specific site to determine who will be the undisputed Champion by way of an elimination championship tournament, and whereas the top 14 competitors in the World Wrestling Federation have been selected and paired and are present in readiness to compete, I now proclaim that the championship tournament should begin.&quot; With champagne wishes and caviar dreams, may the best man win. I'm Robin Leach and I do know why.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jesse''': You know what'd be unique that just came to mind to me, Gorilla? Let's say if {{w|Ted DiBiase|DiBiase}} advances here, and let's say Andre beats Hogan, that means that DiBiase and Andre would face each other...correct?
:'''Gorilla''': Not necessarily—if DiBiase's victorious here, he has to meet the winner of the {{w|Don Muraco|Muraco}}/Bravo match.
:'''Jesse''': Right, but let's just say that DiBiase wins twice, it could end up Andre/DiBiase; what will happen?
:'''Gorilla''': Well, money will talk, I think, Jess.
:'''Jesse''': You think Andre'd step aside, or will DiBiase step aside and let Andre go forward, feeling ''he's'' the unbeatable man?
:'''Gorilla''': Well, it's possible, but he tried that before, and he knows that he can't get the belt without beating the champion.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Uecker''': For what you did to that dog, the ASPCKGBY ought to be on you forever.
:'''Bobby''': I don't have to take insults from you or anybody else. You talk about people writing in letters? You had over 700,000 votes to get into the Hall of Fame. You'd have had a lot more than that, but you ran out of stamps.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jesse''': What was your biggest weight that you wrestled at?
:'''Gorilla''': 440. Superheavyweight.
:'''Jesse''': 440. The heck did you eat when you weighed 440?
:'''Gorilla''': Just about everything...
:'''Jesse''': I know, you were on a see-food diet, right? You ate everything you saw.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jesse''': I know right where Vanna's at, but I just can't say my room number over the air.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': It takes a man-and-a-half to do that.
:'''Jesse''': What, to sit out there and pose?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Tito Santana hits Demolition Ax with his flying formarm.]''
:'''Jesse''': Chico learned that move in the Mexican Football League. The MFL.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Uecker''': Introducing first: accompanied by himself...uh-uh—he's got the big boy with him, Andre the Giant. Here is the Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase.

=={{w|WrestleMania V}} (1989)==

:''[On the Twin Towers—Akeem and the Big Bossman]''
:'''Gorilla Monsoon''': Biggest tag team in professional wrestling today, bar none.
:'''Jesse &quot;The Body&quot; Ventura''': Well, I won't argue with that unless you've got a double, Gorilla.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': Million dollar champion? Who did he beat?
:'''Jesse''': I know who he beat. He beat the banker.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[During the match between Brutus &quot;The Barber&quot; Beefcake and Ted DiBiase]''
:'''Gorilla''': If you make a mistake in this league, it'll cost you the match.
:'''Jesse''': But not the Million Dollar Belt.
:'''Gorilla''': No, definitely not, because the guy wouldn't put it up.
:'''Jesse''': Yeah, but you know, you think about it Gorilla, what is ''Brutus'' putting up for collateral?
:'''Gorilla''': His reputation.
:'''Jesse''': Aw, that's worth about two cents.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jesse''': ''[on the Bushwhackers' walk to the ring]'' Gorilla, I noticed you the other night walking through the casino looking like that.
:'''Gorilla''': Me?! Walking through it looking like that?
:'''Jesse''': Walking like that. Why is that?
:'''Gorilla''': Was I? Well, sometimes it happens. You know, you get caught...
:'''Jesse''': Were you hittin' the joy juice, Gorilla?
:'''Gorilla''': No, absolutely not.
:'''Jesse''': You know what that does to animals.
:'''Gorilla''': Yeah, no, I never partake.
:'''Jesse''': Here's two guys that look like they're on the joy juice. ''Some'' kind of juice.
:'''Gorilla''': I tell you what, in your day, Jess, they would've been tough for anybody because they're so unorthodox.
:'''Jesse''': What do you mean, in ''my'' day? When was ''I'' around, when Henry Ford built his first car?
:'''Gorilla''': No, but you were around when I was still in the squared circle and I've retired.
:'''Jesse''': No, no, no!
:'''Gorilla''': You don't think so. I remember it quite well.
:'''Jesse''': Look at this, they got poor Jimmy's coat, and these guys'd probably eat it. They probably didn't get enough to eat at brunch.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jesse''': You got to give Mr. Fuji credit. He ran that 5K run in a tux too.
:'''Gorilla''': Boy, has he got you to be a believer! He wasn't even sweating in the end! He obviously got onto one of those pushcarts on the boardwalk and had someone push him around for 2 3/4 miles.
:'''Jesse''': I can't believe the jealousy in you Monsoon. Fuji's out there training while you're [[w:Craps|throwing dice]].

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Mean Gene Okerlund''': {{w|Rick Martel}}, what kind of an explanation do you have for actions out there?! You left Tito Santana high and dry! You walked away from your tag team partner!
:'''Rick Martel''': Well, as far as I'm concerned, he just got what he deserved. I'm sick and tired of him, and I'm sick and tired of carrying him around. I was doing great when...ever since I've been in WWF as a singles wrestler, but no—Mr. Tito wants to ride my coattail once more. I'm sick and tired of him; I've been carrying him around too long already!
:'''Mean Gene''': Wait a minute, Martel, you're out of line. Strike Force was supposed to be a team! A team!
:'''Martel''': I don't want to be associated with that guy, he's a loser! You saw his timing was way off. You're lucky that being the gentleman that I am that I just walked off. That could have been a lot worse for you Tito Santana. I'm tired, I'm fed up with you!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Howard Finkel''': Ladies and gentleman, as a very special attraction of WrestleMania V, it is now time for Piper's Pit! 
:'''Gorilla''': Oh, I'm gonna like this. 
:'''Howard''': Without any further ado, let me introduce to you a man who needs no introduction. A man who hosts his very own talk show named after him. A man who thru thick and thin has never backed down from anyone. A man who pulls no punches and does things his way. A man who when you say 'Rowdy', there's only one....Ladies and gentlemen...
:''[Rowdy Roddy Piper's theme hits]''
:'''Gorilla''': Oh there's the bagpipes.
:'''Jesse''': Well, it's been a long time since we've seen the Rowdy one Gorilla.
:'''Gorilla''': I can't wait to get a look at him. ''{The curtain rises, but instead of Rowdy Roddy Piper, {{w|Bruce Pritchard|Brother Love}} appears.'' Wait a minute!
:'''Jesse''': Ha ha!
:'''Gorilla''': That's not Piper.
:'''Jesse''': That's Brother Love.
:'''Gorilla''': What's he doing with a kilt on? Come on.
:'''Jesse''': Boy Gorilla, did you get taken for a ride on that one?
:'''Gorilla''': What is this, some kind of a joke or what? 
:'''Jesse''': Fooled you. Fooled Howard Finkel. Fooled everybody.
:'''Gorilla''': Take a look at those legs. Are we saying at this particular time that the Rowdy one is not gonna make an appearance?
:'''Jesse''': I don't know. But he got scared of Brother Love. 
:'''Gorilla''': I doubt that very much.
:'''Jesse''': Well, where would Brother Love get that kilt from?
:'''Gorilla''': The same place he gets all those rings from.
:'''Jesse''': Piper may be laying in the back beaten up by Brother Love.
:'''Gorilla''': Highly unlikely.
:'''Jesse''': And on top of that, with no pants.
:'''Gorilla''': Aw please.
:'''Jesse''': Or I should say no skirt.
:'''Gorilla''': I'm sure we'll find out very shortly what's going on obviously a change in the order of events as to who is supposed to come out first.
:'''Jesse''': Apparently, it's no longer gonna be a pit. It's gonna be the Brother Love Show.
:''[Howard Finkel introduces Brother Love to the audience]''
:'''Brother Love''': I...love...you...
:'''Jesse''': He's talking to you Gorilla.
:'''Gorilla''': Yeah, well the feeling isn't mutual.
:'''Brother Love''': And welcome to the Brother Love show. And as my special guest, I have a very special guest. His name is Brother Rodney....Piper. ''[Brother Love sits down on one of the stools and continues''] Brother Rodney, welcome to the Brother Love show. ''[Brother Love takes off his glasses, gets up and sits in the stool seated right next to him.]''
:'''Gorilla''': He's not playing with a full deck.
:'''Jesse''': Look.
:'''Brother Love''': ''[impersonating Rowdy Roddy Piper]'' Oh gosh Brother Love. You know, I gotta tell ya, it's a pleasure to be on your show. I watch ya every single week. Your on TV. Ya know, I love your show. I love it when ya say I love you just as much as you say you love me. I love it. I'm in awe. 
:'''Jesse''': Hey, not bad.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Brother Love''': You know, brother Morton, I ''love'' you. But you see, that doesn't mean that I like you.
:'''{{w|Morton Downey Jr.}}''': Let me tell you, Brother Love—any guy who wears a skirt, I don't want to love me.
:'''Brother Love''': Well, tell me, Brother Morton, how does feel to be here on ''The Brother Love Show''? You see, ''I'm'' running the show here.
:'''Morton''': You ain't running nothing, fat boy, with a belly like that.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Rowdy Roddy Piper''': You know, Brother Love, with them cute little knees like that, your hair all breezed back, that cute little flower there, and that tie, the only thing that bothers me is that your face is red, and I don't know if that's high blood pressure, or you're just scared to death of me.
:'''Brother Love''': You can't scare me.
:''[Piper screams once, sending Brother Love back in a fright]''
:'''Piper''': Well so far, we know he's a liar.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Piper''': Is there anything about you at all that may be from Scotland?
:'''Brother Love''': I'm a little bit Scotch.
:'''Piper''': If you're a little bit Scotch, then— Scotch, did you say?
:'''Brother Love''': Yeah, Scotch.
:'''Piper''': Scotch is what a Scotsman drinks. Now if you are any part of you a Scotsman, then...under that skirt there...
:'''Brother Love''': This is a ''kilt''.
:'''Piper''': No, no, this here's a kilt; that's a dress, baby.
:'''Brother Love''': That looks more like a dress.
:''[Starts to look under Piper's kilt]''
:'''Piper''': I'll bite your face off if you do that. Tell me. If you are a real Scotsman, then you don't got nothin' under that kilt there, do you? Huh? No, I mean it! If you are a real Scotsman, there ain't a lick of thing under there.  Excuse me, I should rephrase that. I don't mean he hasn't got anything under the kilt, I should say you're not wearing anything. We all know you ain't got nothin' under there!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Piper''': You know, there was, a long time ago, there was a great bass tenor, and he was your father. He was an Irish tenor. His name wasn't Downey. Why do you call yourself Morton Downey Jr.?
:'''Morton''': That's the name your mama wanted to call me from the husband who reared me.
:''[Piper steps away contemplating revenge for the burn, but comes back with a smile]''
:'''Piper''': Oh, my, my, my, my, my, my. Funny guy. Okay. Tell me something, Mr. Downey. You used to have all these nasty warts all over your face—big, nasty green ones. The only thing you could go out with was a guy who rang bells and used to walk ''[with hunchback] hello, nice to see ya.'' What happened to the warts?
:'''Morton''': I gave them to a homeless warthog.
:'''Piper''': I didn't know your girlfriend was homeless.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Piper''': I'm gonna ask you one more time, please don't blow the smoke in my face. I'm talking to a guy, this is the guy here that said...''[Morton takes a puff and blows it out towards the audience]'' Thank you very much, that's mighty white of you. This is the guy here... ''[Morton takes another puff, and immediately turns and blows in Piper's face]'' You know, that's, like, the fourth time you've done that, and I'm goin' say this to you again: ''Don't blow no more smoke in my face.'' Do you understand that?
:'''Morton''': Try it. Try it. You'll like it. ''[Morton slowly blows in Piper's face, who takes it in]'' You like it? That good? Think about that. That's good. That's good. That's good for you, that's healthy. Look, you could live as long as I have.
:'''Piper''': You know something? You know, wait a second. I judged you wrong! That's true, that was kind of nice. Gave me that kind of aromas, early goat's flavor in my lungs, made my skin yellow. You know, would you happen to have one of those for me? I'd like to smoke one of them. Would you mind just lighting up one of them puppies, and give it on over to ol' Hot Rod here, would you? Do that for me. ''[As Morton's back in turned, Piper lifts and replaces a stool, revealing a fire extinguisher, which Piper picks up]'' Yo, Mr. Downey, give me that smoke, would ya?
:''[As Morton turns around, Piper blasts the extinguisher in his face, sending him to the ground.]''
:'''Gorilla''': I think the fire's out, Jess.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
:''[Following the premiere of the trailer of Hulk Hogan's movie {{w|No Holds Barred (1989 film)|No Holds Barred}}]''
:'''Gorilla''': No Holds Barred. Holy mackerel! Jesse, I believe the Hulkster's invading your territory.
:'''Jesse''': ''[outraged]'' How dare him step into Hollywood, Gorilla Monsoon! Let me tell you something, Hulk Hogan. Hollywood is my domain. But I can see why you're doing it. You're doing it, Hogan, because you're going to lose to the Macho Man! And when you lose to him, you're going to have no job Hulk Hogan! So you're going to have to come out to Hollywood? Try to invade my territory? It ain't big enough for the both of us Hogan! But if you want to come out, I'll give Hogan a job in Hollywood, HE CAN DRIVE MY LIMO!!
:'''Gorilla''': Completely bent out of shape, Jesse Ventura. Talking about people infringing on his territory. Merely, the Hulkster's gone out and made a movie, the name of it, No Holds Barred. Boy, we've seen plenty of action so far here in Wrestlemania V. Of course, Demolition retaining their World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Championship belts and did it in a really good fashion, putting away Mr. Fuji. ''[Jesse returns]'' You're having second thoughts? It was very unprofessional of you, Jess, to just storm out of here like that.
:'''Jesse''': I'm a professional, Monsoon. They're paying me big money to be here. I'll earn it and don't you give me no hard time. I've had enough for now!
  
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Mean Gene''': Hulk Hogan, the only thing I can say what a difference a year makes. A year ago at this time at [[w:WrestleMania IV|Wrestlemania IV]], you were at the side of The Macho Man when he became the undisputed World Wrestling Federation Champ. ''One year later'', here in Atlantic City, you're going to be challenging this very same man for the world crown.
:'''Hogan''': Well, you know you're exactly right, Mean Gene! One year ago, brother, me and The Macho Man were as one! We were best of friends! We would do anything to win together, brother! And if you would've told me one year later right in [[w:Boardwalk_Hall|the very same place that it started]], in the Trump Plaza that we'd be locking horns, going head on head for the WWF Championship, I'd a called you a liar, Mean Gene! But you know something? I should've seen this thing coming, man. As {{w|The Mega Powers}} team was formed, brother, as the [[w:SummerSlam (1988)|SummerSlams]], as the [[w:Survivor Series (1988)|Survivor Series]] went down, as the Mega Powers started growing together, the Mania was a little bit ahead of the Madness, man, but it really didn't matter! You were either in, or you were either out, brother! You either believe, or you didn't, man! And you were either ready, or you weren't! The Macho Man made me feel that he believed in the three demandments—of the prayers, the training, and the vitamins! He made me believe that he was in my corner, Mean Gene! And he ''also'' made me believe that he was ready to fight all odds! That's why I stuck with him, brother. That's why we stayed together so long.
:'''Mean Gene''': You know it's that relationship with The Mega Powers deteriorated even further...Macho Man Randy Savage went so far as to attack your Hulkamaniacs.
:'''Hogan''': Oh, yeah! He did more than just attack the Hulkamaniacs, brother! He went so far as to put our manager, the lovely Elizabeth, right between us, man! It was ''him'' that eaten alive by the jealousy! It was ''him'' that was eaten alive by the lust, brother! It was a simple fact that The Macho Man couldn't be the man that all my Hulkamanics wanted him to be, brother. He couldn't handle the load! He couldn't handle the pressure! But what ''really'' tore us apart, was the way he was so jealous of Hulkamania. The way he put Elizabeth between us. The way he manipulated her. The way he twisted this whole beautiful thing around! But I found out one thing, Macho Man. You're not a believer in the demandments, brother! Brother, you're a cheap shot artist! You take whatever you can, get as quick as you want! You were never in my corner! You were always on the outside waiting for me to make the first move! But just like Donald Trump, Macho Man, I hope you're ready, brother, because Donald Trump has questions in his own mind! He sent a whole team of seismologists out here to check the foundation of the Trump Towers! Because, when the Mega Powers explode off the launching pad, brother, as we erupt over the whole Atlantic City, he was worried about the foundation! He was worried that the thousands of people in the arenas might become unseated and swallowed by The Earth! Donald Trump, don't worry about my Hulkamaniacs. They're survivors. They're ready. But ''YOU'', Macho Man, I don't care where you stand! I don't care what you believe in! All I'm want from you is your best! I want you to be ready! I want the Macho Madness to be at his peak, because when Hulkamania rules, when Hulkamania lives forever, when Hulkamania puts you down on your knees, I want the whole world to realize that I beat you at your best! And at the end of [[w:WrestleMania V|Wrestlemania V]], I will be the World Wrestling Federation Champion! ''And whatcha gonna do, Macho Man, when the whole world full of Hulkamaniacs DESTROY YOU?''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jesse''': C'mon Gorilla, quit playing such favorites out here. Announcing...
:'''Gorilla''': If the shoe fits, put it on that's what I say, Jess.  
:'''Jesse''': I used to like broadcasting with you. You're getting worse than McMahon.
:'''Gorilla''': I am?

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': ''[on Sensational Sherri]'' She's comparing herself to Miss Elizabeth? Give me a break. The two shouldn't even be mentioned in the same sentence.
:'''Jesse''': One's a woman, and one's a girl.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jesse''': I had a manager in 1981, Classy Freddie Blassie.
:'''Gorilla''': Yeah, he took your career straight down the toilet.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': ''[During a match between {{w|Allen Coage|Bad News Brown}} and {{w|Jim Duggan|Hacksaw Jim Duggan}}]'' Bad News looking for some additional help in the form of a steel chair.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Howard''': The referee has disqualified both men!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': Why does he keep badmouthing Elizabeth, Jess? Why doesn't he leave her alone?
:'''Jesse''': She deserves it. She ought to be in his corner doing what she— hey, he took her to the top, Gorilla.
:'''Gorilla''': He also slapped her all around in the dressing room.
:'''Jesse''': Who the hell was Elizabeth before she got with Macho?!
:'''Gorilla''': She was his manager! How do you think he ever got a title shot?!
:'''Jesse''': Not from her!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jesse''': Oh he raked his eyes! I tell you, I don't know how the pukesters can cheer for this guy. He's as dirty as they get!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jesse''': If the Macho Man successfully defends the title, finally, finally we'll have two champions that I like.
:'''Gorilla''': You're referring to Ravishing Rick Rude and the Macho Man?
:'''Jesse''': Absolutely. Those are champions kids can be proud of.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jesse''': ''[on Hulk Hogan]'' Right there you've got a guy who will stoop to any level, he'll stoop to any level to get what he wants.

=={{w|WrestleMania VI}} (1990)==
:'''Mean Gene Okerlund''': I'm standing here with the {{w|World Tag Team Championship (WWE)|World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Champions}}: the awesome force of the Colostomy Connect...
:'''Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan''': Hey, hey, baldy, what did you call them?
:'''Mean Gene''': The Colossal Connection!
:'''Bobby''': No you didn't!
:'''Mean Gene''': What did I say?
:'''Bobby''': Never mind. But if you ''want'' to talk evacuation, fine. Because that's exactly where Demolition is headed. 
:'''Andre the Giant''': Right.
:'''Bobby''': They're headed straight to the treatment plant. And gentlemen, we know how we're going to treat them, ''don't'' we?
:'''Colossal Connection''': We're going to eliminate them! ''[Andre laughs evilly]''
:'''Bobby''': Come on! Let's get moving.
:'''Mean Gene''': All right! The Colossal Connection—they're anything but regular guys.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla Monsoon''': ''[as {{w|John Tenta|Earthquake}} poses]'' Reminded me of you in your younger days, Jess.
:'''Jesse &quot;The Body&quot; Ventura''': Now, wait a minute. I had a little more definition than the Earthquake.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jesse''': Sean Connery was named &quot;{{w|People (magazine)#Sexiest Man Alive|Sexiest Man in the World}},&quot; and he has my hairstyle.
:'''Gorilla''': I know that. 
:'''Jesse''': You know how I can't miss in Hollywood, Gorilla? I got Paul Newman's eyes, I got Kirk Douglas's chin, and Robert Duvall's haircut. How can I lose?
:'''Gorilla''': But what do you have of your own, Jess?
:'''Jesse''': ''[pause]'' ...And here comes Brutus.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': Well, Tito can knock you out with that flying forearm if you know, Jess.
:'''Jesse''': Yeah, a burrito will do it, too. 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jesse''': They said &quot;with a combined weight of 465 lbs.&quot; You're telling me that {{w|Dusty Rhodes (wrestler)|Rhodes}} only weighs 200?!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': Look at this, {{w|Juanita Wright|Sapphire}} coming around to save— standing right in front of &quot;The Dream.&quot;
:'''Jesse''': Nail her, Macho! Jump right off on her!
:'''Gorilla''': I can't believe you just said that.
:'''Jesse''': Hey, she wants to play lumberjack, let her carry her end of the log!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Mean Gene''': I find that you're tougher to get along with than a mother-in-law on a weekend visit to my house.
:'''Bobby''': Don't you concern yourself about getting along with me. I'm the easiest guy in the world to get along with; but when you're 540 lb., 7'4&quot;, and it takes two and a half hours for the blood to reach the brain, you don't think real right!
:'''Mean Gene''': Wait a minute, Bobby Heenan, where do you have the bal— the ''nerve'' to hit Andre the Giant in the face?
:'''Bobby''': I'll tell you where I got the nerve to hit Andre in the face. You take orders from ''me''! I'm the head of the Family! You listen to me, you go to the top; you don't listen to me, you're never heard from again! You have just committed pal...........
:'''Mean Gene''': What are you at a loss for words now?
:'''Bobby''': No I'm not! We lost the championship! Because he stood on the apron, wouldn't get in the ring, wouldn't help Haku. Haku had to carry the load! I'm starting a new Heenan family. Ones that will listen to me...

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[At the interview area]''
:'''Mean Gene''': Hulk Hogan, the greatest World Wrestling Federation champion of all time. Here we are at ''Wrestlemania VI'', the waiting's over, here comes the Ultimate Challenge. 
:'''Hulk Hogan''': You know something Mean Gene, you don't have to remind me and my Hulkamaniacs that at Skydome we're gonna face the Ultimate Challenge, brother. When we crossed the border from the United States of America to Canada, I was hovering over Skydome, brother, I saw what was beneath me man. I saw the greatest arena of all times, where the Ultimate Challenge will take place... and as we landed, brother, nothing but stark-raving Hulkamaniacs were there to great me at the airport. Nothing but positive vibes, man. Hulkamania is running wild like it's never ran before! But the Ultimate Warrior, you must realize that when you step into Skydome, when you feel the energy that's gonna run wild throughout the arena, those are my people. That's my energy brother and Ultimate Warrior, ''[points to his hand]'' this is where the power lies, man. In the power of the Hulkster, the largest arms in the world, and once I get you down on your knees, Ultimate Warrior, I'm gonna ask you one question, brother. I'm gonna ask you: do you want to live forever? And if your answer is yes, Ultimate Warrior, then breathe you last breath into my body. I can save ya, my Hulkamaniacs can save ya. We can turn the darkness that you live in into the light. We can save all your little warriors with the training, the prayers, and the vitamins. But I gotta prove one thing to all my Hulkamaniacs out there — it's not whether you win or whether you lose, the only thing that matters is what kind of winner you are or what kind of loser you are, and Ultimate Warrior, I sure hope you're a good loser, brother. Whatcha ya gonna do at Skydome when the largest arms in the world and Hulkamania destroys you?
:'''Mean Gene''': Alright, the time is now. Hulkster, thank you; standing by is Sean Mooney.
:''[Cut to the locker room. There we see Sean Mooney with the Ultimate Warrior, who's pacing around the room.]''
:'''Sean Mooney''':  Thank you, Mean Gene. I'm with the reigning Intercontinental Champion, the...
:'''{{w|The Ultimate Warrior}}''': ''[interrupting]'' Ahhhhh... You are nothing but a normal! You don't deserve to breathe the same air that I and Hulk Hogan do! ''[Throws Mooney out of the room]'' Hulk Hogan, I must ask you now as you asked me: do you, Hulk Hogan, want your ideas, your beliefs to live forever? For, Hulk Hogan, in this normal world, physically, ''none'' of us can live forever. But the places you have taken the Hulkamaniacs, the ideas and beliefs you have given them, can live through me, Hulk Hogan. That is why I breathe, that is why the Warriors have come. Hulk Hogan, there are ones that question where you are taking them. Do you no longer want to walk or step into that darkness? Hulk Hogan, the darkness I speak of is nothing of fear. It is about the beliefs... of accepting any and all challenges at the cost of losing everything, Hulk Hogan! You have lived, Hulk Hogan, for the last 5 WrestleManias for this one belief! Now, Hulk Hogan, I come to take what you believe in further than you ever could. I come, Hulk Hogan, not to destroy the Hulkamaniacs and Hulkamania. I come, Hulk Hogan, to bring the Warriors and Hulkamaniacs together as one as we, Hulk Hogan, accept all the challenges with all the strengths of the Warriors and the Hulkamaniacs together. Hulk Hogan, the colors of the Hulkamaniacs are coming through the pores of my skin... and Hulk Hogan... when we meet, Hulk Hogan, I will look at you and you will realize then that I have come ''to do no one no harm'', but only, Hulk Hogan, to take what we both believe in ''to places it shall never have been''!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Greg &quot;The Hammer&quot; Valentine''': We're on our way to the {{w|Rock and Roll Hall of Fame}}.
:'''{{w|Steve Allen}}''': Great, I'll call ahead and warn them you're coming.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jesse''': ''[on Hacksaw Jim Duggan]'' He just pushed the referee.
:'''Gorilla''': He did? I didn't see that.
:'''Jesse''': What?
:'''Gorilla''': I didn't see it, I was looking...
:'''Jesse''': What were you doing, filling your... Wait a minute...
:'''Gorilla''' I was getting something to drink!
:'''Jesse''' Did you stuff your face with a hot dog again?!
:'''Gorilla''': No, I didn't have any hot dogs.
:'''Jesse''': You've only had seven!
:'''Gorilla''': Bravo taking the upper hand now.
:'''Jesse''': You got mustard all over your lapels.
:'''Gorilla''': I do not!
:'''Jesse''': Look at you. You're a mess, Monsoon!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|Gene Okerlund|Mean Gene}}''': Jake &quot;The Snake&quot; Roberts, the match is at hand.
:'''{{w|Jake Roberts|Jake &quot;The Snake&quot; Roberts}}''': Well, well, the Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase. Here we are at WrestleMania, and it's the biggest match of ''your'' career. Why? Because everything you stand for is on the line, namely the Million Dollar Belt. Oh yeah, it can be yours once again. All you have to do to get it back is go through Damian and me. But you see, Damian and I don't forget. We remember all the times you made people grovel for your money. These were people far less fortunate than you, people who could use your money for essentials, and what did you do? You made fun of them. You humbled them and you humiliated them. Well, now it’s my turn. I’m going to make you beg, DiBiase. You are going to get down on your hands and knees. This time, you’ll be the one that’s humbled. This time, you’ll be the one that’s humiliated, and this time, you will be the one that grovels for the money. And how appropriate, that the money you grovel for is your very own—a victim of your own greed, wallowing in the muck of avarice.
:'''Mean Gene''': [[Henry Wadsworth Longfellow|Longfellow]] couldn't have said it better.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Allen''': ''[on Superfly Jimmy Snuka]'' I'll tell you how ugly he is—at one time, a vampire flew into his bedroom, took one look at him, and bit the bedpost.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Allen''': I like Jimmy Snuka 'cause he's wearing my wife's underwear.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jesse''': Got him with the boot!
:'''Gorilla''': Oh, he ''nailed'' him! ''[Hulk Hogan sets up for the Leg Drop]''
:'''Jesse''': Here it is!
:'''Gorilla''': He... ''[Hogan goes for the Leg Drop, but the Ultimate Warrior moves out of the way]'' Oh, he moved out of the way! ''[In the moment that Hogan is stunned, the Warrior bounces off the ropes and hits the splash]'' Look out, the big Splash! ''[counting along with the referee]'' One...
:'''Jesse''': Two...
:'''Gorilla''': ''[&quot;Three&quot;]'' He got him!
:'''Jesse''': HE GOT HIM!
:'''Gorilla''': Unbelievable!
:'''Jesse''': THE WARRIOR'S WON THE TITLE!
:'''Gorilla''': We have a new World Wrestling Federation Champion!
:'''Howard Finkel''': The winner of this bout, and NEW World Wrestling Federation Champion: the Ultimate Warrior!
:''[As Finkel says this, a downcast Hogan looks to the heavens and hits his knees in anguish]''
:'''Gorilla''': This place has gone crazy!
:'''Jesse''': UNBELIEVABLE, MONSOON! What a battle, both ways! Hogan missing the Leg Drop, the Warrior capitalizing on it, and getting the three-count just minuscule seconds before Hogan could kick out! 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Later, Hogan brings the WWF title into the ring]''
:'''Jesse''': Look at the hushed silence going over the crowd.
:'''Gorilla''': They don't know what the Hulkster's gonna do and neither do I. ''[Hogan presents the belt to the Warrior]'' Oh, look at this! Hulk presenting the belt and raised the hand of the Warrior! ''[The two men embrace in the ring]'' The Hulkster has just taken one giant step towards immortality!
:'''Jesse''': Well, I gotta say this! At least it wasn't a [[w:Don_King_(boxing_promoter)#Lawsuits and prosecutions|Mike Tyson-Don King type affair]]! The man lost it, and he's going out like a true champion, Monsoon!
:'''Gorilla''': Unbelievable Hulkster and unbelievable Warrior!
:''[Hogan walks to the cart to leave the ring area]''
:'''Jesse''': I do believe Hulkamania ''will'' live forever!
:'''Gorilla''': It absolutely will!
:''[Warrior salutes to Hogan]''
:'''Gorilla''': What a matchup! Everything we expected and more! We have a new World Wrestling Federation Champion, the Ultimate Warrior!
:''[Warrior raises the two belts in the air as the pyrotechnics began]''
:'''Gorilla''': This place has just erupted! Holy mackeral! Warrior enjoying his moment of glory! Hulkster taking it all in! For Jesse &quot;The Body&quot; Ventura, this is the Gorilla saying so long, everybody!

=={{w|WrestleMania VII}} (1991)==

:'''Jake &quot;The Snake&quot; Roberts''': The blind leading the blind? Even a fool knows that a man only has five senses. But a snake? He has six. We always do it better in the dark.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[During the {{w|The Undertaker|Undertaker}}/Snuka match]''
:'''Gorilla Monsoon''': Another headbutt by the phenom (Jimmy Snuka), slingshot - oh, nice, ''[Undertaker catches Snuka in mid-air]'' but look!
:'''Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan''': Look at the strength of this man!
:'''Gorilla''': What a power move by the Undertaker. Never seen Superfly - oh - manhandled like this, look out! ''[He turns Snuka upside down]'' Tombstone city! ''[Undertaker hits the Tombstone Piledriver]'' NO! ''[Undertaker folds Snuka's arms and covers him]'' It's all over, Brain.
:'''Bobby''': I don't believe it. That is &quot;Superfly&quot; Jimmy Snuka! ''[the referee counts three]'' That's impressive. RIP!
:'''Howard Finkel''': Here is your winner: The Undertaker!
:'''Gorilla''': What an impressive victory here in WrestleMania VII for that man, right there, The Undertaker.
:'''Bobby''': He's not even sweating. Services for Mr. Snuka.
:''[This was the beginning of the greatest WrestleMania winning streak of all time by the Undertaker]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': ''[referring to Rowdy Roddy Piper, who injured his leg in a motorcycle accident prior to this event]'' &quot;I've fallen and I can't get up.&quot;
:'''Gorilla''': Why don't you stop!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': ''[on {{w|Kōji Kitao}}]'' Kitao needs to make a tag to {{w|Genichiro Tenryu|Tenryu}}.
:'''Bobby''': I think he should ''throw in'' the towel
:'''Gorilla''': What towel?
:'''Bobby''': Kitowel.
:'''Gorilla''': ''Kitao'' is the guy's name.
:'''Bobby''': Same to you. 
:'''Gorilla''': You'd have trouble with his name if it was Fred.
:'''Bobby''': His name's Fred Kitao? Silly name for a Japanese wrestler, Fred.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': It's amazing that {{w|Lou Ferrigno}} can talk with 20 pounds of crackers in his mouth.
:'''Gorilla''': Will you stop?!!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': Here we are, humanoids, in sunny California — Los Angeles, to be exact. And you've probably been reading in the papers, and everyone's been seeing on TV, this is the home of the great LAPD, Los Angeles Police Department. And you've all seen what transpired out here, how some little ham-and-egger was hiding in the bushes with his little home video camera and he happened upon this [[w:Rodney King|incident]] and took the pictures of it. Well, I've got a treat for you, because you see, I'm gonna give it to you for zip. All you gotta do is get out that rented sofa with the spring sticking up, go over and push your VCR button on Play; we'll furnish the cameraman, and then you can see ''our'' brand of justice, the way Mr. Perfect is gonna dish it out to that Barney Fife, the Big Bossman.
:'''{{w|Curt Hennig|Mr. Perfect}}''': And I will guarantee you this, that you will not find Mr. Perfect giving the Big Bossman 56 free swipes at me, Bossman. Because I'm cool, I'm the Intercontinental Champion, I'm cool as a cat, Bossman. Most people in my position might be on edge, thinking they've gotta climb into the ring with a 300-pound maniac. Well, Big Bossman, I'm the champion — Intercontinental Champion. I have all the tools it takes to be a champion: I have Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan in my corner, I have the right body, I have the right looks, the ability. I am what I say I am, and I say I'm... ''[turns around. On the back of his ring jacket it says &quot;Perfect&quot;]''
:'''Bobby''': ''[listening to the viewers]'' They're saying it, they're saying it.
:'''Mr. Perfect''': ''[turns back around]'' There's only one, you're looking at him.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[During the Hogan/{{w|Sgt. Slaughter}} match]''
:'''{{w|Regis Philbin|Regis Philbin}}''': Uh-oh. ''[Slaughter is handed the flag of Iraq.]''
:'''Gorilla''': What's ''this''?
:'''Regis''': He's not going to plant that flag on the Hulk, is he? ''[he drapes it on Hulk Hogan and covers him]'' Oh no! Come on!
:'''Gorilla''': Give me a break here! ''[The referee counts, but Hogan kicks out at two]'' It's not over yet!
:'''Regis''': YES! Come on, Hulk!
:'''Bobby''': He seizes the Iraqi flag!
:'''Gorilla''': ''[Hogan, on his knees, starts ripping up the flag]'' Hulkster tearing it to pieces. ''[Seeing Slaughter coming, he stops ripping the flag and begins to Hulk up]'' Slaughter comes in... oh, look at this!
:'''Regis''': ''[talking over Gorilla's last sentence]'' Uh-oh! Here he comes.
:'''Bobby''': That man made a mistake, putting the flag on Hogan!
:'''Regis''': Come on, Hulk, get up!
:'''Gorilla''': ''[Hogan rises to his feet and parades around shaking his hair]'' That adrenaline flowing right now! The Hulkster seeing the crimson red! ''[Hogan had been cut open earlier in the match.]''
:'''Regis''': AH! ''[Slaughter pounds him, but it has no effect on Hogan. Instead, Hogan points a finger at Slaughter]''
:'''Gorilla''': Uh-oh!
:'''Regis''': That's it.
:'''Bobby''': It could be it.
:'''Regis''': Here comes the warning.
:'''Gorilla''': ''[As he says this, Hogan blocks Slaughter's right hand and pounds him with three roundhouses. Then he whips Slaughter in and plants the Big Boot]'' &quot;You're not going to do that to me; you're not going to do that to the United States of America, and the thousands of Hulkamaniacs.&quot; Irish whip and the Big Boot!
:'''Bobby''': No! Not here, please!
:'''Regis''': ''[Hogan bounces off the ropes and hits the Leg Drop]'' OH!
:'''Gorilla''': Hulkster off with the Leg Drop! The cover... ''[Hogan covers Slaughter and gets three]'' He got him!
:'''Bobby''': HE DID IT!
:'''Regis''': What a comeback!
:'''Bobby''': He did it for the World Wrestling Federation, and for the United States of America!
:'''Regis''': What a comeback!
:'''Bobby''': Are you happy?
:'''Gorilla''': I certainly am! History once again made here at WrestleMania VII - an unprecedented three-time winner of the World Wrestling Federation title.
:'''Howard Finkel''': ''[speaking over Gorilla]'' The winner of this bout, and the NEW World Wrestling Federation Champion: Hulk Hogan!
:'''Gorilla''': Undoubtedly, the most memorable night in Pay-Per-View history, and you are part of it. WHOA!
:'''Regis''': What a thrill to see this, Gorilla! Never seen anything like it. A great comeback! Fans are going crazy.
:'''Gorilla''': The gold once again around the waist of that incredible individual!

=={{w|WrestleMania VIII}} (1992)==

:''[ {{w|Reba McEntire}} has just sung the national anthem]''
:'''Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan''': Boy, can Tito's sister belt one out!
:'''Gorilla Monsoon''': Will you stop?!
:'''Bobby''': That's Arriba McIntyre!
:'''Gorilla''': It is not!
:'''Bobby''': WOOOOOOO!!!!!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': ''[referring to Sensational Sherri]'' That's my pin-up girl!
:'''Gorilla''': I think you should see your occulist!
:'''Bobby''': There's nothing wrong with my feet.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Again referring to Sherri (and {{w|Shawn Michaels}})] 
:'''Bobby''': She is in love with that man.
:'''Gorilla''': Yeah, but is the feeling mutual? 
:'''Bobby''': Pardon? 
:'''Gorilla''': Is the feeling mutual? 
:'''Bobby''': Oh, what do you think, she's there, isn't she? He doesn't allow any bim.... uh woman to be there... 
:'''Gorilla''': Bimbo? Did you say bimbo? 
:'''Bobby''': I didn't say that, I coughed. I said &quot;Buimmmh&quot;. 
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': ''[on Sherri]'' Who do you think does her make-up, Helen Keller?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': Highly unlikely that you're gonna pin anybody with a side headlock. In all my years I've never seen anyone pinned with a side headlock.
:'''Bobby''': I've pinned a few people with it.
:'''Gorilla''': You???
:'''Bobby''': Yes.
:'''Gorilla''': Where?  In your dreams???
:'''Bobby''':  I can beat you...I can beat any man a million different ways. I had a guy give up one time during instructions.
:'''Gorilla''': Will you stop?!!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': A hard-fought victory for that man right there, Shawn Michaels.
:'''Bobby''': Someday he'll be wearing the gold representing the World Wrestling Federation. This man's the star of the '90s, Monsoon.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Brain''': I told you, Monsoon, I don't think you can hurt the Undertaker! You know, death never takes a holiday. 
:'''Gorilla''': Why don't you stop? 
:'''Brain''': These things just come to me. I feel like I got two brilliant minds. 
:'''Gorilla''': Oh boy, I'm in trouble. 
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': The strength coming from the urn, being held by {{w|Paul Bearer}}. 
:'''Brain''': What is in that urn? 
:'''Gorilla''': You're the guy that's supposed to find that out! 
:'''Brain''': You're supposed to know. 
:'''Gorilla''': You're a broadcast journalist. 
:'''Brain''': Aren't YOU a broadcast journalist? 
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After the Undertaker Tombstones Jake &quot;The Snake&quot; Roberts outside the ring]''
:'''Gorilla''': Tombstone City!
:'''Brain''': Oh, no!
:'''Gorilla''': This place has gone bananas!
:'''Brain''': I told you somebody is going to be hurt, and it's Jake &quot;The Snake&quot; Roberts. He broke his neck, Monsoon, I bet he broke his neck.
:''[The Undertaker rolls Jake into the ring]''
:'''Gorilla''': He wants him inside the ring.
:'''Brain''': He's out, he's cold, man, he is out. ''[The referee counts Undertaker's pin]'' 1, 2, 3.
:'''Gorilla''': Holy mackerel.
:'''Brain''': I've never seen Jake the Snake defeated that severely as I seen him at the hands of the Undertaker.
:'''Howard Finkel''': Here is your winner: The Undertaker!
:'''Gorilla''': How on earth are you gonna stop this guy?
:''[The Undertaker improved to 2-0 at WrestleMania.]''
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Backstage with Mean Gene Okerlund, &quot;Rowdy&quot; Roddy Piper and Bret &quot;The Hitman&quot; Hart staredown before the match]''
:'''Mean Gene Okerlund''': Here's another first, in this Wrestlemania firsts. As a matter of fact, this is the first time these two men are meeting for the World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental title. ''[referring to Piper]'' Champion &quot;Rowdy&quot; Roddy Piper—
:'''&quot;Rowdy&quot; Roddy Piper''': ''[turns to the camera]'' YEAH! ''[laughs]''
:'''Okerlund''': ''[referring to Hart]'' His opponent, a former IC champion himself, number one contender: Bret &quot;The Hitman&quot; Hart. ''[looks to his watch]'' Gentlemen, we have arrived.
:'''Piper''': ''[overlapping, to Okerlund]'' Y'know— We—we have arrived. ''[to Hart]'' Y'know, I gotta say first of all, man, I gotta tell ya how much I loves [[w:Hart wrestling family|ya family]]. I gotta tell ya how much I loves your ma— I've known you— I've known this guy since he been— ''[describing Hart as a toddler]'' ''nnguhh— knee-high'' to a grasshopper! I know— I 'member when they were changing your potty pants! I remember even when— 'course, you weren't potty-trained til' he was seven— but AHHHH, everybody's got their problem! Tying, 'member? Tying bows in our shoes when we were kids? Yers, of course, yer shoes were always tied together. DOESN'T MATTER! Doesn't matter to me, ''[taps Hart in the shoulder]'' 'cause I remember when Mrs. Hart used to come down, man— ''[imitates making sandwiches in exaggeration]'' She used to make them sandwiches, man! Throw on them bologna! Of course, only once piece of bologna— But that don't matter! I was hungry! Then she'd come up ''[pinches Hart in the left cheek]'' and she'd go to her little—
:''[Hart, unamused, brushes Piper's hand off his cheek]''
:'''Piper''': ''[confused]'' What is this? 
:'''Bret &quot;The Hitman&quot; Hart''': ''[overlapping]'' Keep your hands to yourself.
:'''Piper''': Oh, keep my— Oh, this is nice, huh? Here I am, having a little fun trying to make you at ease— gonna have a nice con— &quot;Keep-him-to-yourself, have a nice contest&quot;— and here you wanna be a ''hero'' all of a sudden, huh? You wanna be a ''hotshot'' all of a sudd—! ''[referring to the IC belt]'' You want ''your'' belt all of a sudden! Is that the idea, huh!?
:'''Hart''': Look, all I care about is one thing! I want to win back the Intercontinental belt! You got it! I'm gonna take it! ''[pats the IC belt by Piper's lower extremities]'' That's—
:'''Okerlund''': Hey!
:'''Piper''': ''[brushes Hart's hands away]'' ''You'' keep your hands to ''yourself''! ''[shoves Hart]'' Let me help you out a little bit, buddy! We can settle out there—
:'''Hart''': ''[overlapping]'' We can do this here, you know! We can do this here!
:'''Piper''': ''[overlapping]'' OH YEAH! YOU DAMN BETCHA, WE CA—! WHY DO IT HERE, WHEN I CAN HAVE A MILLION PEOPLE WATCH ME RIP YOUR HEAD OFF! ''[tries to walk off]''
:'''Hart''': ''[grabs Piper's arm while raising his fist]'' I would've had you.
:'''Piper''': ''[raising his fist to Hart in return]'' No, you wouldn't have.
:'''Okerlund''': ''[interrupting]'' Oh— Okay, thank you gentlemen!
:'''Piper''': ''[overlapping]'' Bye-bye! ''[shrugs off Hart's hand]'' Bye-bye!! BYE-BYE!!!
:'''Okerlund''': Bret Hart, on his way to the ring!
:'''Hart''': ''[backs off, pointing back to Piper]'' I would've.
:'''Okerlund''': ''[overlapping]'' Get ready, this should be a classic, ladies and gentlemen!
:'''Piper''': ''[yelling back to Hart]'' I DON'T THINK SO!! NOT TODAY!!
:'''Okerlund''': ''[overlapping]'' &quot;Rowdy&quot; Roddy Piper defending against the challenger! Let's get back to ringside!
:'''Piper''': ''[turns to the camera, raising his IC Title]'' ''SHE'D BE MINE!!!''
:'''Okerlund''': ''[calming Piper]'' Please.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[&quot;Rowdy&quot; Roddy Piper and {{w|Bret Hart|Bret &quot;Hitman&quot; Hart}} have a staredown in the ring]''
:'''Bobby''': Two ugly people looking at each other.  That's fun.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[On obtaining Roddy Piper's WWF Intercontinental Title]''
:'''Gorilla''': What would you do if you were The Hitman?
:'''Bobby''': Well I'd have my agent buy it for me.  And if that didn't work, I'd waffle him out back with a tire iron.  I'd get it some way, any way I could.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': I remember when I was champion Monsoon.
:'''Gorilla''': Champion of what?
:'''Bobby''': The neighborhood!  I had the prettiest date the whole block that month.  Oh, you should have seen her.
:'''Gorilla''': The only gold you ever had was in your teeth!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Piper is about to use the ringbell on Hart, but has second thoughts]''
:'''Bobby''': USE IT!! USE IT!! Waffle him with it!  You know the old saying, what the hell use the bell!  Hit him!  Give it to me, I'll hit him!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[When Roddy faced Bret for the IC title...after Piper showed some professional courtesy for Bret]''
:'''Bobby''': You know that show of sportsmanship....the respect for each other, the enthusiasm they have....makes me sick!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Gorilla''': Virgil, of course had his nose busted by Sid &quot;Insane&quot; Justice.
:'''Bobby''': I thought he had plastic surgery. What an improvement.
:'''Gorilla''': Why don't you stop?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': Maybe Elizabeth can go on Love Connection and get a date. Then again I think she's been on that show.
:'''Gorilla''': Will you stop?!!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Brain''': I'm Indiana's favorite Bobby. I could've gotten that high school team a win last night, not the guy they had running the ship. 
:'''Gorilla''': You couldn't even carry {{w|Bobby Knight}}'s towel. 
:'''Brain''': Who? 
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Referring to locations receiving WMVIII]''
:'''Brain''': 30 countries? 
:'''Gorilla''': Yes indeed 
:'''Brain''': Spell em.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': I have a special announcement: Shawn Michaels has left the building. 
:'''Gorilla''': Who cares?! 
:'''Bobby''': I'll do it again, if you wanna hear it. 
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Ric Flair is walking down the aisle, preparing for his title match with Macho Man Randy Savage]''
:'''Bobby''': You know, if you want to be fair to {{w|Ric Flair|Flair}}, you've gotta be fair and say that's a heckuva robe. Only a man as fair as Flair, would show up at Wrestlemania.... 
:'''Gorilla''': WILL YOU STOP?!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Ric Flair has just lost the WWF title to the Macho Man and is backstage with Sean Mooney, Mr. Perfect, and Bobby ''the Brain'' Heenan.]''
:'''Sean Mooney''': This is one tough assignment that I'm gonna get comments from the now FORMER World Wrestling Federation Champion, Ric Flair....
:'''Mr. Perfect''': You just shut up Mooney!! This is the way it is. Macho Man Randy Savage, you call yourself a Macho Man? well what's so Macho, what an injustice. I'm not gonna stand around here say anything true Macho Man. You had a handful of trunks. The trunks were up, the stupid referee, a bad job officiating. Bobby, you saw what happened, did you see what happened??
:'''Bobby''': I just got down from the booth. He had your tights, I saw it, it's on camera, it's on tape, I got it. There's nothing to worry about.
:'''Mr.Perfect''': There is something to worry about. 
:'''Sean''': There's some tactics that Ric Flair was using that are questionable. 
:'''&quot;Nature Boy&quot; Ric Flair''': What we have right now, is a MAN that'll walk around town tonight claiming to be the real World's champion. Claiming to be the second time WWF Heavyweight Champion, He'll be claiming it all!! ANd most of all, he'll be claiming the love of that jezzebel Elizabeth!! Now Savage, unlike a lot of people in the greatest sport of them all, we don't cry over spilled milk, we reassemble the team. The Money, the brains, the nucleus, and we say to our opponent..You did it once. Now let's see ya do it again. One time means NOTHING to my career. Tell 'em Mr. Perfect. 
:'''Mr.Perfect''': I'll tell ya what. One time means nothing Macho Man. Like your old lady, you're gonna be damaged goods, because this man has never taken a short cut in the world of wrestling. You Macho Man have taken a short cut. You had a handful of tights. We were out there, we were wrestling. This man was the greatest World Wrestling Federation champion of all time.[Cameras then show the ending of the match] Here is comes, let everybody take a good long look at it because they're all gonna see how the handful of tights.
:'''Bobby''': Now watch you're gonna get a good look, look at that handful of tights. That's the champion. He's cheated. He don't deserve to have the title.
:'''Mr.Perfect''': He's like his old lady. A Cheater.
:'''Sean''': Well the way it stands right now, there is a new champion in the WWF...
:'''Ric Flair''': Let's make it clear right now!!! We regroup together. Where I go, Perfect goes. It's all monitored by Heenan. And I got something for Savage..might not be tomorrow, it might be the day after, but I'm gonna beat you and I'm gonna beat you bad, and every time I see your old lady, I'm gonna kiss her on those moist...wet...lips. WOOOOOOOO!
:'''Mr. Perfect''': Atta baby Champ.
:'''Sean''': As you know this is not a very safe place to be. I'm out of here. Let's go over to Mean Gene Okerlund.
:'''Mean Gene Okerlund''': Alright thank you very much Sean Mooney. With me at this time is the brand new World Wrestling Federation champion...
:'''Macho Man''': Ooh Yeah!
:'''Mean Gene Okerlund''': ...Macho Man Randy Savage along with the First Lady Elizabeth. Now some might say Macho Man that that was a questionable victory. You heard them talk about the tights and so forth.
:'''Macho Man''': Oh, I don't even care. I don't even care. That's okay. It was just a '''''PIECE''''' of what I wanted from you Ric Flair. This is what makes you tick. This is what makes you tick. This is what makes you tick from the inside out &amp; I just took a piece out of you. You haven't been beat up properly, but I'm gonna do that for ya yeah. This isn't all I want from you Ric Flair, I want the WHOLE Nature Boy - '''''I WANT THE WHOLE FLAIR PACKAGE!''''' call yourself the real World Wrestling Federation champion, well I guess I am now and what you did to Elizabeth, I guess you couldn't make me any madder than I was before I went to the ring but somehow ya did it. You made it possible. You made it possible. Now I'm gonna get the rest of him. I don't care if it's in the street, parking lot, doesn't even matter to me because I'll do anything to win, if I didn't prove it, I'll prove it next time. Ooh Yeah!
:'''Mean Gene Okerlund''': Wait a minute if I may Randy, Elizabeth, after what happened here at WrestleMania, the fact that Randy defeated Ric Flair for the World Wrestling Federation title, in light of all the allegations that's been going on in past months, do you feel at this point that you're vindicated?
:'''Macho Man''': Wait a minute [hands the title over to Miss Elizabeth] this is yours. Take it and go...AND THIS [Shows a clinched fist to the camera] is yours Ric Flair [tears his shirt off] Ooh Yeah! '''''THIS IS YOURS!''''' You can have all of me next time, do ya dare huh Mr. Perfect? You're not perfect, I'm not perfect, NOBODY'S PERFECT! I'm out of here. Ooh Yeah! 
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After Bobby gets back from the locker room following the WWF Championship match]''
:'''Bobby''': Monsoon, I just got back from talking with Ric Flair. I'm going to make a statement. I'm going to make it now. I'm going to make it clear and to the point. You saw it, I saw it, millions and millions of people saw it; Savage had a fistful of trunks when he used it to pin Ric Flair. Now, a lesser person would quit, they would scream, they would make excuses; we are going to regroup and we're going to get the title back. It's just a matter of time. If we're going to be upset; if we're going to act emotional; well then, we're going to defeat ourselves. We're going to look at this as a positive message, and we are going to go forward and we're going to take that title and we're going to take Mr Savage out eventually. It's just a matter of time. End of conservation.
:'''Gorilla''': Yeah? And how many of you will it take to do that?
:'''Bobby''': It doesn't matter Monsoon, we'll get the job done.
:'''Gorilla''': Mr...Mr Perfect spent as much time in the ring as Ric Flair did!
:'''Bobby''': You discuss that with them. I'm a broadcast journalist...
:'''Gorilla''': You're a liar!
:'''Bobby''': I'm a financial advisor...
:'''Gorilla''': You're a liar!
:'''Bobby''': ...and I'm going to sit here and do my job like the gentlemen I am.
:'''Gorilla''': You're a liar!
:'''Bobby''': And if you don't like it, you can get outta here...
:'''Gorilla''': You're a liar!
:'''Bobby''': ...and take your microphone and your headset and you know what you can do with them (now getting hysterical) 'cause you're not going to get me upset!!
:'''Gorilla''': You are upset.
:'''Bobby''': You understand me?! You're not going to get me upset!
:'''Gorilla''': Don't jump, it's a long way down!
:'''Bobby''': Put 'em up! ''[Gorilla scoffs]'' Put 'em up!
:'''Gorilla''': Boy oh boy, the Brain has really lost it folks.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby''': Instead of being thrown out of the ring, he should've done the pitching.
:'''Gorilla''': Who should've done the pitching?
:'''Bobby''': T.t..t.Tatanka. But then again, if the Indians had more pitching, they'd be a better team.
:'''Gorilla''': Why don't you stop?
:'''Bobby''':  Did you ever say hello to Tatanka?
:'''Gorilla''': Yes.
:'''Bobby''': Did you do it properly?
:'''Gorilla''': Yes....
:'''Bobby''':  You said &quot;Heyhowareya!&quot; Heyhowareya!&quot;
:'''Gorilla''': He doesn't do that.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|Sid Eudy|Sid Justice}}''': See, we have a saying, and it goes like this: Do unto the man as he would do unto you...but do it first.
: ''[Sid and Papa Shango attack Hogan]''
: '''Bobby''': This is it!
: '''Gorilla''': This is crazy!
: '''Bobby''': This is the end of Hulk Hogan. He don't have a friend left!
: ''[a familiar music starts to play]''
: '''Gorilla''': Wait a minute!
: '''Bobby''': What?
: '''Gorilla''': That's the Warrior's music!
: '''Bobby''': IT'S THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR!
: '''Gorilla''': IT IS!
: '''Bobby''': LOOK AT HIM!
: '''Gorilla''': THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR!
: '''Bobby''': Where did he come from?! Is here to attack Hogan?! What is going on here?!

=={{w|WrestleMania IX}} (1993)==
:'''Vince McMahon''': CAESAR'S PALACE! LAS VEGAS, NEVADA! SITE OF WRESTLEMANIA IX! HERE IS YOUR HOST, GORILLA MONSOON!
:'''Gorilla Monsoon''': Welcome to Caesar's Palace! Welcome to WrestleMania IX and the largest toga party in the world! First time ever for me to have on a toga! I could get used to this! They'll be a lot of first here at WrestleMania IX! And here's one of them! Latest addition to the WWF Broadcast Team: Jim Ross!
:'''{{w|Jim Ross}}''': Thanks very much, Gorilla Monsoon! Indeed it will be a day of first, ladies and gentlemen! My very ''first'' WrestleMania! First time that yours truly, from the great state of Oklahoma, has ever been in a toga myself! This is quite an impressive outfit! And I, too, could really get used to this! What do you think of these gold shoes? How would those play in Tulsa? What a day— My first day to meet a Centurion! ''[knocks on a Centurion's armor]'' And ''this'' guy is in great shape! Just a smile! But folks, we're gonna have a great time! Over 16,000 fans and a ''worldwide'' television audience— What a day it's going to be! ''Two'' tremendous main events you're going to see: Bret &quot;The Hitman&quot; Hart defend the championship against the 505 pound {{w|Yokozuna (wrestler)|Yokozuna}}! And indeed, Hulkamania will run wild when Hulk Hogan and Brutus &quot;The Barber&quot; Beefcake, The Mega Maniacs, challenge Money Incorporated for the Tag Team Championship. It is, indeed, the world's largest toga party! What a day we're gonna have! But right now, ladies and gentlemen, let's go up— You know him as Howard Finkel, but today...he's ''Finkus Maximus''!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|Rick Steiner}}''': We're gonna make Julius Caesar proud!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bobby &quot;The Brain&quot; Heenan''': I've never seen anybody thrown over the top rope like that and then waffled from behind by {{w|Afa Anoai|Afa}}'s stick.
:'''&quot;Macho Man&quot; Randy Savage''': You forgot to mention that one of {{w|The Headshrinkers}} pulled down that top rope to help the situation out a little bit.
:'''Bobby''': I didn't see it.
:'''Randy''': I know you didn't, but I don't expect you to see it.
:'''Bobby''': Excuse me! You've got on sunglasses and a hat pulled down. How could you see it?
:'''Jim''': I saw it too Bobby, and I'm not wearing sunglasses.
:'''Bobby''': Yeah, but you're from Oklahoma.
:'''Jim''': What does that got to do with it?
:'''Bobby''': You don't know anything!
:'''Randy''': He's got a built in excuse for everything.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': Here's a cover by Luger, 1, 2, and Luger's feet were on the ropes, good call.
:'''Randy''': Yeah good call.
:'''Bobby''': ''[sarcastically]'' Good call. That's great. Really good. Good Call.
:'''Randy''': That's Heenan's voice. I bet you can't tell that.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Howard Finkel''': Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner as a result of a disqualification: The Undertaker!
:'''Bobby''': Oh come on! For what?
:''[Undertaker improves to 3-0 at WrestleMania.]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Mean Gene Okerlund''': I can't think of a better individual who can share with us his perspective regarding just who is gonna be the new World Wrestling Federation Champion. Four-time Champion himself, Hulk Ho... ''[seeing Hulk's black eye]'' You know, Ted DiBiase said something about it. What in the world happened?
:'''Hulk Hogan''': Well, you know something, Mean Gene? I just left the WWF Champion's dressing room, Bret &quot;The Hitman&quot; Hart, and the one thought I wanted to leave him with was that all the Hulkamaniacs and Hulk Hogan are in his corner. But you know, the last couple months, these seem to be the times when people do step over the line. First off, with my bionic brother Brutus. And then last night leaving the gym here in Vegas, I guess money ''can'' buy certain liberties around this town. They took it out on the Hulkster, brother. But all the little Hulkamaniacs pushed me towards the ring.
:You know, Bret Hart, a little warning to the wise, brother. You're a brother, you're a Hulkamaniac, and since so many people are stepping over the line, I want you to watch this Yokozuna and Mr. Fuji like a cat, brother; I want you to watch every move; and I also want you to know, brother, that me and all my Hulkamaniacs are on your side.
:But as I looked into the eyes of Bret Hart just a few minutes ago, Mean Gene, I know the power of Hulkamania, I know the greatness of Hulkamania, and as I looked into Bret Hart's eyes, I even questioned Hulkamania's own greatness. That's why right now, Bret Hart, I'm issuing a challenge to either you or the Jap, brother! Whoever wins that WWF Title, I want the first shot at it. But let me tell you something, Mean Gene. With me, all my Hulkamaniacs, and the attitude that Bret Hart has, I guarantee you, dude, the WWF Title is staying right here in the WWF, right here in the US of A. And what you gonna do?!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

=={{w|WrestleMania X}} (1994)==
:'''{{w|Jerry Lawler|Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler}}''': Was that {{w|Little Richard}} singing or was his underwear too tight?

:''[Mr. Fuji hits Randy Savage with the flagpole]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': Oh no! Did you see that?
:'''Jerry''': No I was looking at the president.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|Todd Pettengill}}''': Boy, ''this'' is a tough job here. Todd Pettengill with {{w|Rhonda Shear}}, host of ''Up All Night'' on USA. This is great.
:'''Rhonda Shear''': I'm so excited to be...
:'''&quot;The Heartbreak Kid&quot; Shawn Michaels''': ''[shoving Todd out of the picture]'' All right, Pettengill, out of the way. Everyone knows why Rhonda Shear's here, and that's to be with the Heartbreak Kid. Everyone knows we're an item. Now, photographer, I'm got him here.
:'''Rhonda''': Yes, yes.
:'''Shawn''': On three, I want you to say cheese, all right?
:'''Rhonda''': Did you miss me?
:'''Shawn''': One, two, three, ch... ''[The photographer is shoved down by {{w|Burt Reynolds}}]'' Hey, what's going...
:'''Rhonda''': ''[giddy]'' Burt Reynolds? Burt Reynolds! Burt Reynolds! Hi, I'm Rhonda Shear.
:'''Burt Reynolds''': Hi.
:'''Shawn''': Hey, Mr. Reynolds? Hey, she's mine.
:'''Burt''': Would you get that chest shaved? It's really ugly.
:'''Shawn''': ''[pulling down Burt's jacket zipper, revealing a shirt and tie]'' What have ''you'' got in there? ''[Leaves in a huff]'' Oh, come on.
:'''Burt''': Go. Never come back.
:'''Rhonda''': Burt, you give me the vapors, but you also keep me ''up'' all night.
:'''Burt''': You keep ''me'' up all night; wish there was something we could do about that. You know what I'd like to do?
:'''Rhonda''': What? What?
:'''Burt''': I'd like to go to FanFest.
:'''Rhonda''': Oh, will you take me, please?
:'''Burt''': I'll take you wherever you want to go.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': I heard {{w|Nelson Frazier, Jr.|Mabel}} was baptized at Sea World.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': You have to pin Mo because Mabel is so fat, you try to cover him and your ears pop.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Todd''': Obviously, Yokozuna is still the Champion, but he was down, laying in that ring. You gotta admit that.
:'''{{w|Jim Cornette}}''': Who's got the belt? Who's still the Champion? That's all you need to know, Petting Zoo! Let me tell you something right now! Lex Luger, you thought you had everything well in hand, just like a purring kitten. But you found out, in the immortal words of the great poet and philosopher {{w|Ian Anderson}}, &quot;{{w|Bungle in the Jungle|he who made kittens, put snakes in the grass.}}&quot;
:And I thought Mr. Perfect did a wonderful job officiating. I thought he was fair and square and right down the middle. Remember, the special referees were agreed upon by ''both'' parties, Luger.
:Now as to Bret Hart, let me explain something to ''you'', punk! It's no longer a question of whether you're gonna come out of this match with the World Wrestling Federation Title. No, it's a question of whether you're gonna come out of this match with your health, your body, and your career intact. Because you've gotta get in that ring, Bret Hart, and you've gotta think to yourself, you've gotta have the pain, the agony, the degradation, the humiliation of being beaten by your own brother on worldwide pay-per-view, all that running through your mind. And you've gotta have the pain of that knee—don't think we didn't notice it—the pain of that knee that you injured—who knows how badly—coursing through your body, affecting your judgment, clouding your instincts.
:So Bret Hart, you are going to have to come to terms with, you are going to have to deal with the fact that it's no longer a matter of you trying to win the title; it's a matter of you trying to keep yourself in one piece when you climb in the ring and you look into the eyes of the monster: the most powerful, the most intimidating, the most dominant force that's ever existed in wrestling history - the Great, Mighty Yokozuna, still the World Wrestling Federation Champion.
:So Bret Hart, you talk about waking a sleeping giant? He's not only awake; but he's mad, he's enraged, he's furious, and he's hungry! He's hungry and he wants to be fed! And Bret Hart, he's going be the shark, the wrestling ring's gonna be the ocean, and you, Bret Hart, are going to be the blood poured into the water that kicks off the feeding frenzy! He's going to chew you up and spit you out, Hart! And your career may be over at the biggest WrestleMania of all-time. I can't wait to see it happen!
:'''Yokozuna''': Sou desu ne...BANZAI!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[ {{w|Scott Hall|Razor Ramon}} walks under a ladder as he comes to the ring for his ladder match]''
:'''Vince''': Did you see what he just did?
:'''Jerry''': That's bad luck!
:'''Vince''': Well, you can bet he did it for a reason-
:'''Jerry''': Yeah! He's stupid!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': Would you walk under a ladder, McMahon? Would you break a mirror? Well, with your face you might break a mirror...

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vince''': ''[as Yokozuna prepares a Banzai Drop on Bret Hart]'' Yokozuna's going up. Bret Hart is not moving. ''[Yokozuna loses his balance and falls off the rope, Bret getting away just in time]'' Wait a minute, he's losing his balance! He just lost his balance on the rope!
:'''Jerry''': What?! He's hit his head!
:'''Vince''': ''[Bret crawls to Yokozuna and covers him as Piper counts]'' 1, 2, 3!
:'''Jerry''': No! No! No way!
:''[Piper puts the belt on Bret and points down]''
:'''Vince''': We have a new champion!
:'''Jerry''': No way!
:'''Vince''': Yokozuna can't believe it.
:'''Burt''': The winner of the bout and new World Wrestling Federation Champion: Bret &quot;The Hitman&quot; Hart!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vince''': They have seen a new World Wrestling Federation Champion crowned!
:'''Jerry''': No!
:'''Vince''': We are witnessing, ladies and gentlemen, a brand new era! We are witnessing the blastoff of the next decade in the World Wrestling Federation!

=={{w|WrestleMania XI}} (1995)==

:'''{{w|Nicholas Turturro}}''': Bob?
:'''{{w|Bob Backlund}}''': What's the meaning of this intrusion?! That's what's wrong with America today! You people with cameras! You think you can intrude on anybody at anytime!
:'''Nicholas''': Bob, I'm sorry. I was just trying to find out about Pamela Anderson. She's been missing. Sorry to bother...
:'''Bob''': Who?
:'''Nicholas''': Pamela Anderson.
:'''Bob''': Who's Pamela Anderson?!
:'''{{w|Jonathan Taylor Thomas}}''': ''[making his move]'' Mr. Backlund, check and mate, thank you.
:'''Bob''': That's what's wrong with society today! All these young people taking advantage of their elders and showing no respect! Who's the 34th President of the United States?!
:'''Jonathan''': Eisenhower.
:'''Bob''': What's the capitol of Honduras?!
:'''Jonathan''': Tegucigapla. [''sic'']
:'''Bob''': Who's the chief justice of the United States Supreme Court?!
:'''Jonathan''': William Rehnquist.
:'''Bob''': That's what's wrong with the world!!! They think they know it all!!!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vince McMahon''': ''[as he watches Undertaker enter the arena]'' The Undertaker, a man who has never lost at WrestleMania!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[As {{w|Bam Bam Bigelow}} has {{w|Lawrence Taylor}} in a Boston Crab]''
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': A Boston Crab on a New York Giant. I love it!

=={{w|WrestleMania XII}} (1996)==

:'''{{w|Kevin Nash|Diesel}}''': I'm the shit, man! I'm telling ya!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vince McMahon''': Shawn Michaels won five Slammy Awards last night.
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': I heard he dedicated one of those Slammys to Jose Lothario.
:'''Vince''': That's right.
:'''Jerry''': I bet you'll probally see it in a pawn shop in Tijuana tomorrow.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Explaining the rules of the Ironman match]''
:'''{{w|Earl Hebner}}''': Gentlemen, this match is for the World Wrestling Federation Championship. This is an Iron Man match. You will be wrestling for 60 minutes.
:'''Vince''': Wow.
:'''Hebner''': The man who wins the most decisions will be declared the winner and the World Wrestling Federation Champion. 
:'''Vince''': ''[referring to Bret Hart giving a thumbs-up approval to a fan]'' The Hitman's cool.
:'''Hebner''': A decision can be earned by a pinfall, a submission, a countout, or a disqualification. You MUST... ''must'' break on the count of 4; I ''will'' disqualify you on the count of 5. If you leave the ring, or if you're thrown out, you have a 10-count to return, or you'll be counted out. Do you gentlemen both understand the rules?
:'''Vince''': ''[Bret Hart winks at someone, then both nod their heads]'' Oh, the Hitman, ever confident.
:'''Hebner''': Are there any questions?
:'''Vince''': ''[Both shake their heads &quot;no&quot;]'' No questions from either individual.
:'''Hebner''': Good luck to both of you.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After the 60 minute time limit has expired, ring announcer Howard Finkel announces that the match must continue.]
:''[Bret Hart exits the ring after retrieving his championship belt]''
:'''Howard Finkel''': Ladies and gentleman, may I have your attention, please. The 60 minute time limit has expired. However, this match has been ordered to ''continue...''
:''[Bret Hart looks back to the ring in disbelief, yelling: &quot;Why?&quot;]''
:'''Howard''': ''...under sudden death rules''. There ''must'' be a winner.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vince''': It's not over! This capacity crowd buzzing. They've never seen anything quite like this, and you would only see it in the WWF... ''[Shawn Michaels loads up his boot...]'' Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Michaels steps - ''[and hits Sweet Chin Music on Bret Hart]'' he got it! He got ''all'' of it! Michaels got ALL OF IT! ''[Michaels pins Hart]'' MICHAELS WITH A COVER! ''[counting along with Earl Hebner]'' ONE, TWO, YES!
:'''Jerry''': No!
:'''Howard''': Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this bout, and NEW World Wrestling Federation Champion: &quot;The Heartbreak Kid&quot; Shawn Michaels!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vince''': ''[moments later, as Shawn is awarded the WWF title]'' The boyhood dream has come true for Shawn Michaels.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vince''': Here comes the Undertaker!

=={{w|WrestleMania 13}} (1997)==
''[Opening narration]''
:'''Narrator''': It's traditionally the grandest night in the World Wrestling Federation. WrestleMania: the great spectacle, the granddaddy of sports entertainment, a magical night where dreams become reality, where legends stand immortal, where incredible feats of athleticism are indelibly etched in the annals of time.
:But this year, a tempest engulfs utopia. This year, clouds of hatred and anger have eclipsed the heavens, shed darkness on the gods. We've watched as heroes stepped down from their pedestals, witnessed malicious attacks by a depraved Nation, beheld the dark, disturbing flashes from a once benevolent force.
:Tonight, three determined men ''[Ahmed Johnson and the Legion of Doom]'' unite to wage war against an evil Nation. Their battleground: the cold, unforgiving streets of Chicago.
:Tonight, two giants ''[The Undertaker and Sycho Sid]'' appear willing to shed their noble armor to embrace their dark sides, to possess the coveted gold.
:And tonight, two angry young men ''[Bret Hart and Stone Cold Steve Austin]'' destined to destroy each other will endure intolerable pain in a brutal submission match.
:It's WrestleMania, the Showcase of the Immortals, the greatest night in sports entertainment. It's supposed to be a night of celebration, a time to rejoice. But tonight, none of these men are smiling.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim Ross''': {{w|Dennis Knight|Phineas Godwinn}}, the {{w|The Beverly Hillbillies#Jethro Bodine|Jethro Bodine}} of the WWF.
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': I call him the highly paid dumb guy.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[About Bret Hart]''
:'''Vince McMahon''': Here's a man who's had a great legacy. But that legacy has taken a real turn.
:'''Jerry''': I know he took you for a turn when he shoved you on your keister.
:'''Vince''': Yes and I didn't appreciate it one bit. I think Bret was out of line for doing that. As well as all the obscenities that he uttered on live television. There's no excuse for that no matter how many times this man so called has been screwed.
:'''Jerry''': Well you called him a son of a...

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Vince''': If Bret Hart loses this match, you wonder what he's gonna come up with as an excuse, because he'll have none in my view.
:'''Jerry''': Who, Bret Hart? Sure he will! He's a whiner.
:'''Vince''': Well, it's what it seems that... his sort of mind is of late, and that's too bad.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': Bret Hart can twist {{w|Stone Cold Steve Austin|Stone Cold's}} leg until it looks like the Chicago White Sox' {{w|Robin Ventura}}. It can be turned around backwards, and Stone Cold is still not gonna give up.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After Steve Austin attempted to apply the Sharpshooter to Bret Hart.]''
:'''Jerry''': Wouldn't that have been the greatest of all time to have to submit to the sharpshooter? (Laughs)
:'''Vince''': It could happen, it's just that painful. Bret Hart really knows how to put it on. Stone Cold Steve Austin may put it on Bret Hart as well.
:'''Jerry''': Well, Owen taught it to both of them; he's the master of it.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Bret Hart has Steve Austin in the Sharpshooter]''
:'''Vince''': Who would blame Stone Cold if he gave up?
:'''{{w|Ken Shamrock}}''': ''[as Austin screams with blood pouring over his face]'' Say the word, Steve!
:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': NOOO!!
:'''Vince''': The blood pouring from the forehead of Stone Cold Steve Austin. He continues to resist, continues to resist the pain.
:'''Jim''': These people are standing! Can you imagine the pain rushing through Austin's body?!
:'''Jerry''': Look at the blood spurting from his temple.
:'''Shamrock''': Steve, answer me!
:'''Jim''': Austin's losing blood, Austin may be losing consciousness. ''[Austin starts pushing himself up]'' Austin trying to get one more rush of adrenaline!
:'''Vince''': Austin trying to power out! It's not a pretty sight! Stone Cold Stone Austin!
:'''Jerry''': ''[Austin is almost all the way up]'' Impossible! He's doing the impossible!
:'''Jim''': Nobody's ever done this! Nobody's ever broken.
:''[Austin manages to topple Bret over, but Bret holds on]''
:'''Vince''': He did it! He did it! Austin did it!
:'''Jim''': Austin broke the Sharpshooter! Or did he?!
:'''Vince''': ''[as Bret sits back into it]'' No, Bret still has it on! I thought for sure he broke it. Austin trying to reach that rope! Reaching for the rope. Austin will not surrender, he will not submit!
:'''Jim''': Bret Hart has beaten every Superstar in the WWF with this move. How in the hell Austin has not given up, I can't understand!
:'''Shamrock''': ''[over this]'' Answer me! Do you give up? STEVE, DO YOU GIVE UP?! If you do not answer me, I will stop the fight!
:''[Austin has passed out. Shamrock tells Bret to release the hold.]''
:'''Shamrock''': That's it!
:'''Vince''': Ken Shamrock stopping it, stopping it right now! That's it! Stone Cold Steve Austin! Austin passed out!
:'''Jim''': ''Austin is unconscious! Austin never gave up! Austin never gave up! But he passed out from the pain! Austin is out!''
:'''Vince''': And Bret &quot;The Hitman&quot; Hart has defeated one of the gutsiest individuals ever in the World Wrestling Federation.
:'''Howard Finkel''': As a result of Stone Cold Steve Austin losing consciousness, the winner of this bout: Bret &quot;Hitman&quot; Hart!
:'''Vince''': ''[cont'd]'' I can tell ya, I've never seen a display of intestinal fortitude like we saw in Stone Cold Steve Austin, who is still unconscious, and quite frankly, needs medical attention right now.
:'''Jim''': Boy, that has got to be a tough act to follow, I'll tell you that.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[At the start of the Undertaker/Sid title match. Bret Hart makes his way to the ring.]''
:'''&quot;The Heartbreak Kid&quot; Shawn Michaels''': ''[doing guest commentary]'' Oh, Bret very resentful of not being in the main event or being the man. I find that hard to believe. Well he did his best against Steve Austin but just couldn't get it done.
:'''Bret &quot;Hit Man&quot; Hart''': ''[grabbing a mic]'' Hey Shawn Michaels! First of all you phony little faker, why don't you go take your little pussy foot injury?
:'''Vince''': ''[holding Shawn back]'' All right, knock it off!
:'''Shawn''': It's ok. I'm not going anywhere.
:'''Bret''': And go back to the dressing room and find your smile. But whatever you do, stay out of this match!
:'''Shawn''': &quot;I'm so scared!&quot;
:'''Bret''': ''[To the Undertaker]'' And as for you, I just want you to know. That when you slammed that door on my head, you slammed the door on our friendship. And from here on in it's a new set of rules between you and me.
:'''Shawn''': Your friendship? Oh I can't remember the last time Bret was anybody's friend.
:'''Bret''': ''[To Sid]'' And you! You know, and I know, and every single person in this building,...
:'''Shawn''': Knows that he's a crybaby.
:'''Bret''': ...all know one thing. Is that the World Wrestling Federation title belt belongs to me! And you are a fraud!
:'''Vince''': Well it looks like Bret...
:'''Bret''': That belt will never belong to you and you know it and I know it and every single person in this building, whether you're here or outside the TV then, you all know that I am the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be!
:''[Sid punches Bret]''
:'''Vince''': Oh! Sycho Sid. Wait a minute!
:'''Shawn''': And now you're getting beat up because of your big mouth.
:''[Sid gives Bret a powerbomb while Shawn Michaels laughs]''
:'''Jim''': Powerbomb! Bret Hart has experienced the powerbomb one more time! And after that submission match, that's going to put him in a bad way.
:'''Shawn''': See? What did I tell ya?
:'''Sycho Sid''': ''[Grabbing the mic]'' Now you take your whiny little ass out of here!
:'''Shawn''': Yeah! Alright!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Later in the same match, Bret Hart attempts to interfere again]''
:'''Shawn''': Jesus!
:'''Jim''': Are you kidding me?
:'''Vince''': Oh, please stop that... Come on! ''[Sid attacks Hart, but Hart drives him into the top rope, sight unseen]''
:'''Shawn''': Doesn't he ever get tired of beating up? ''[Sid, feeling the effects of the top rope, walks straight into the Undertaker's grasp and the Deadman turns him upside down]''
:'''Vince''': Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
:'''Jim''': Tombstone Piledriver! Tombstone! Tombstone! Tombstone!
:'''Vince''': ''[Undertaker hits the Tombstone Piledriver on Sid]'' OH!
:'''Jim''': HE DID IT! ''[Shawn begins clapping for the Undertaker as the Undertaker folds Sid's arms and covers him]''
:'''Vince''': ''[counting along with the referee]'' One, two... ''[Earl Hebner counts three, making the Undertaker 6-0 at Wrestlemania, and the crowd erupts]'' OH!
:'''Howard''': The winner of this bout, and NEW World Wrestling Federation Champion: The Undertaker! ''[Shawn continues to clap for the Undertaker]''
:'''Vince''': The new World Wrestling Federation champion, the Undertaker, and his creatures!
:'''Jim''': The WWF title lives in the dark side!
:'''Shawn''': And we are in for a wild ride! The WWF and the WWF Championship is going places where it's never been, and frankly, I am excited, and I just want to be a part of it.
:'''Vince''': The Dark Days of the WWF have begun!

=={{w|WrestleMania XIV}} (1998)==

''[Opening narration]''
:'''Narrator''': The first temptation is to say that tradition has abandoned WrestleMania; that this grand spectacle, this enticing blend of celebrity and athleticism has been taken hostage by a new generation of rogues. The &quot;Baddest Man on the Planet&quot; ''[Mike Tyson]'', the toughest SOB ''[Stone Cold Steve Austin]'', the reigning champion and #1 Degenerate ''[Shawn Michaels]''. These are men determined to write their own destiny. To Hell with historians who upend their tale.
:But tradition is indeed alive and well. Because after all, despite the brash bravado, it's the allure of World Wrestling Federation gold that has brought these men here tonight. The very belt that immortalized Andre, Hulk, and Sammartino; the symbol of excellence that inspired Gorilla Monsoon, &quot;The Big Cat&quot; Ernie Ladd, Classy Freddie Blassie; a lineage created by Vincent J. McMahon some fifty years ago. So tonight, through sacrifice and pain, through breathtaking displays of athleticism that defy mortal boundaries, these men that shun tradition are destined to become part of it.
:It's WrestleMania. The grandest of spectacles, the Showcase of the Immortals, a time to revel in the occasion. And somewhere beyond the spotlights, the father of the World Wrestling Federation will revel in it, too.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[The ending of the {{w|WWE European Championship}} match involving Triple H and Owen Hart]''
:'''Jim Ross''': Oh, LOW BLOW!!!
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Man, oh man.
:'''Jim''': {{w|Chyna}} caught [[w:Owen Hart|Owen]] with a low blow.
:'''Jerry''': Pedigree, whoa!
:'''Jim''': ''[Triple H hits the Pedigree on Owen]'' Pedigree!
:'''Jerry''': WOO-HOO! Yes!
:'''Jim''': ''[counting along with the referee]'' 1,2,3, that's it.
:'''Jerry''': Brilliant!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|Jeff Jarrett}}''': Gennifer, honey, I've just got one question for you tonight at WrestleMania XIV—ain't I great?
:'''{{w|Gennifer Flowers}}''': Honey, I've...been with greats, and you are great.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|Road Dogg|Road Dogg Jesse James}}''': Well, well, well, the gang's all here. Matter of fact, they're sitting right up there. You know, they call you &quot;hardcore legends.&quot; Well, everybody knows that outlaws make legends, so when we're done beating the hell outta you, just what will that make us? Boston, if this is for the weak at heart, please turn your head, Terry Funk.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[During the match between the New Age Outlaws and {{w|Mick Foley|Cactus Jack}} &amp; {{w|Terry Funk|Chainsaw Charlie}}]
:'''Jim''': We said earlier there'd be no finesse. Hell, there's more finesse in Muskogee on Saturday night on payday weekend.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Pete Rose is the guest ring announcer in Boston]''
:'''{{w|Pete Rose}}''': Hey! Last time I was here, we kicked your ass!
:'''Jim''': That's a good way to make friends there Pete.
:'''Rose''': You can't win a World Series! My buddy Bucky Dent says hello! You know, I left tickets for Bill Buckner, but he couldn't bend over to pick them up. How 'bout it? They call it &quot;the Curse of the Bambino&quot; right here, the city of losers!
:'''Jim''': Easy. King, did you prep Pete Rose?
:'''Jerry''': Well, we did have a couple of photos made before the match up. (laughs)

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': ''[Kane has just Tombstoned Pete Rose]'' No! No! That’s Pete Rose! Pete Rose just got Tombstoned! Pete Rose just got Tombstoned, and this crowd in Boston ''LOVED'' it!!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': ''[on the match between Undertaker and his brother, Kane]'' Who will Rest In Peace?

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Promo before the main event]''
:'''Classy Freddie Blassie''': I can still hear the echoes cheering my name.
:'''Killer Kowalski''': Time has not silenced the crowd.
:'''Ernie Ladd''': I never did a moonsault.
:'''Gorilla Monsoon''': Or walked the top rope.
:'''Pat Patterson''': There were no pyrotechnics.
:'''Gorilla''': No fancy flashing lights.
:'''Freddie''': We never flew through the air.
:'''Pat''': We were men of courage.
:'''Killer''': Men of steel.
:'''Freddie''': They are men without fear.
:'''Ernie''': I can still hear the echoes cheering my name.
:'''Gorilla''': But today...
:'''Freddie''': I cheer for them.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': Shawn Michaels is the most honored champion in WWF history. The ''only'' man in WWF history to win every major World Wrestling Federation title. He's been the WWF Champion three times. Tag Champ three times. Intercontinental Champion three times. And the European Champ— And listen to this— This chant here in Boston!
:''[Crowd chanting &quot;Austin, Austin...!&quot;]''
:'''Jim''': ...Chanting for Stone Cold!
:'''Jerry''': He's got his work cut out for him! If he could get through Shawn Michaels! If he could get through DX! If he could get through Mike Tyson—
:''[The bells rings, signifying the start of the match]''
:'''Jerry''': —he deserves to be the champion! I just don't think he could do it!
:'''Jim''': Nobody has ever, ''ever'' outperformed Shawn Michaels in a big match situation. And folks, it don't get no bigger than this. This is what our ''business'' is all about. It's about earning the opportunity to wrestle in the main event at a Wrestlemania.
:'''Jerry''': Look at Shawn Michaels, he is so full of himself!
:'''Jim''': He's got great confidence, and rightfully so.
:'''Jerry''': He got Mike Tyson. Haha!
:'''Jim''': Well, you're maybe right there.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': Austin back up somehow... ''[Shawn Michaels attempts Sweet Chin Music, but Stone Cold Steve Austin ducks and attempts the Stunner]'' Oh, Austin dumped him. Austin going for the Stunner, and Michaels counters. ''[Michaels attempts Sweet Chin Music again but Austin blocks...]'' Michaels going for another kick. Austin... ''[...and hits the Stunner]'' HE GOT IT, THE STUNNER! Mike Tyson in! [''{{w|Mike Tyson}} enters the ring and does a fast 3-count''] AUSTIN IS THE CHAMPION! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!
:'''Howard Finkel''': The winner of this bout, and NEW World Wrestling Federation Champion: Stone Cold Steve Austin!
:'''Jerry''': ''[over Finkel's announcement]'' Wait a minute! WHAT? Tyson has double-crossed DX! It's a double-cross!
:'''Jim''': The Austin Era has begun! Stone Cold's eight-year journey has been culminated with WWF gold!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': ''[after seeing Mike Tyson knock out Shawn Michaels with a right hand]'' OH A RIGHT HAND! TYSON! TYSON! TYSON! RIGHT HAND! DOWN GOES MICHAELS!

=={{w|WrestleMania XV}} (1999)==
:''(Opening narration)''
:'''{{w|Freddie Blassie|Classy Freddie Blassie}}''': Time. No beginning, no end. An infinite procession that humbles our mortality. But there are moments in life that transcend our fate, memories crafted by gods among men that defy time to forget them. These are the moments that echo through the ages, always heard, never to grow old. Born of will, christened with blood, they are testament to the strong, the mighty, the eminent, deities who defy their own mortality to forge an indelible imprint in the annals of time. Like the mythic gods of ancient Greece, they may thrill us, inspire us, at times makes us angry, but they will never let us forget them. Tonight, is their night, their battle, their moment of ultimate sacrifice. For this is their theater, their altar, their chance for divinity. Welcome to WrestleMania, the showcase of the immortals.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael Cole''': Wait a minute. Wait a minute! No!
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': What?!
:'''Michael''': No! Pedigree! Triple H has turned his back on X-Pac! Triple H is putting on Shane!
:'''Jerry''': What?!
:'''Michael''': Shane McMahon has retained the title! No! What the hell is going on?
:'''Jerry''': I don't know.
:'''Howard Finkel''': The winner of this bout and still World Wrestling Federation European Champion, Shane McMahon!
:''[after seeing Triple H leaving D-Generation X to join the Corpration.]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': Tombstone! The Tombstone on the Big Boss Man and the Undertaker is victorious!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Over the loudspeaker, The Rock saying the words &quot;Do you smell what The Rock is cooking?&quot; are heard, signaling his arrival]''
:'''Howard Finkel''': Introducing first... from Miami, Florida, weighing 275 pounds, the World Wrestling Federation Champion, The Rock!
:''[The Rock slowly enters with the WWF Championship belt hoisted on his right shoulder]''
:'''Jim Ross''': What an athlete. The WWF Champion. A 27-year-old prodigy!
:'''Jerry''': I'm telling ya, it's good to be The King, but, it's gotta be ''great'' to be The Rock!
:'''Jim''': The Rock, the number one man in this business! And the reason is over his shoulder: The WWF Title!
:'''Jerry''': And even ''you'' got to admit, J.R., it looks so good over the shoulder of The Rock! I mean, he's the true— I mean, he's the ''epitome'' of a champion! He's the kind of man you would want representing your organization! Not some beer-swilling, finger-giving idiot like Stone Cold Steve Austin! Admit it, J.R.!
:'''Jim''': Well, that's your opinion. No doubt The Rock is a gifted athlete. ''[The Rock climbs above the turnbuckle where he slowly raises the belt]''  An amazing, ''amazing'' specimen! First third-generation star in WWF history.
:'''Jerry''': ''[The Rock climbs off the ropes, and threatens referee Mike Chioda with an elbow]'' Uh-oh!
:'''Jim''': Oh, what a match-up this is gonna be—
:''[Glass shatters and &quot;I Won't Do What You Tell Me&quot; plays, signaling the arrival of Stone Cold Steve Austin; the crowd erupts; The Rock is alert and ready for Austin as he hands the championship to Chioda]''
:'''Howard''': His opponent, and challenger...from Victoria, Texas, weighing 252 lbs, Stone Cold Steve Austin!
:'''Jim''': And the Rattlesnake is ready! ''[Austin pushes the cameraman away at the ring steps.]'' This crowd is jacked! And here we are at WrestleMania XV! ''[As Austin walks by The Rock begins to taunt him]'' And The Rock already talking trash! Just like he did when he played for the [[w:1991 Miami Hurricanes football team|Miami Hurricanes]] down at—at...at the [[w:1992 Orange Bowl|Orange Bowl]]! ''[The Rock obstructs Austin's path while taunting him further.]'' They talk—they talked a lot of trash! They psyched out a lot of people! ''[Austin looks to the referee...]'' But, King, I don't think Austin ''can'' be intimidated—
:'''Jerry''': You don't think— ''[Austin strikes The Rock first as they trade shots]''
:'''Jim''': OH! A RIGHT HAND!
:''[The bell sounds, beginning their No Disqualification Match]''
:'''Jerry''': Here they go!
:'''Jim''': HERE THEY GO! WWF TITLE, ON THE LINE!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[End of match]''
:'''Jerry''': Where's Mr. McMahon?
:''[Austin Irish-whips The Rock, setting up for a backbody drop]''
:'''Jim''': ''[seeing that Mr. McMahon, having been knocked out of the ring by Mankind (who was scheduled to be the referee for this match), has made his way to the announce table]'' He's lying right in front of us. ''[The Rock counters with a kick to Austin]'' Oh, what a shot by The Rock. ''[Austin snaps up to receive a clothesline]'' And a knockdown!
:'''Jerry''': Wow!
:'''Jim''': What a magnificent move by The Rock.
:''[Austin gets up and staggers to find himself grabbed by the shoulder]''
:'''Jerry''': HERE WE GO!
:'''Jim''': Uh-oh, uh-oh! Rock Bottom. Rock Bottom! ''[The Rock performs the Rock Bottom on Austin]''
:'''Jerry''': YES! You better count, Mankind! Get in there and count! ''[The Rock walks around towards Austin's supine body]''
:'''Jim''': It didn't work earlier, Austin kicked out!
:'''Jerry''': Oh no.
:'''Jim''': But—!
:'''Jerry''': ''[The Rock kicks Austin's right arm]'' Wait a minute!
:'''Jim''': The Rock—!
:'''Jerry''': Yes! ''[The Rock pulls off his elbow pad and throws it to the crowd]'' You want me to do the honors, J.R.?
:'''Jim''': It's the Rock Bottom Special! Go ahead, King, I know you like it!
:'''Jerry''': It is the most electrifying move in sports entertainment history! YEA—! ''[The Rock slows down to taunt Austin with multiple birds followed by a beer gesture, as he attempts to hit the Corporate Elbow, but Austin moves out of the way]'' OH—!
:'''Jim''': NO! AUSTIN—!
:''[Mr. McMahon stares in disbelief]''
:'''Jerry''': ACK!
:'''Jim''': ''[as Austin attempts a Stone Cold Stunner. However, the Rock catches Austin's foot and flips him the bird]'' AUSTIN MOVED OUT OF THE WAY!
:'''Jerry''': WHAT?!
:'''Jim''': ''[The Rock spins him around and again attempts the Rock Bottom, whilst taunting him further]'' Oh, The Rock going for it again, Rock Bottom—!
:'''Jerry''': Get him up, Rock! Get him up—! Oh!
:'''Jim''': ''[Austin elbows The Rock to free himself]'' Austin with the elbows—! 
:'''Jerry''': ''[While The Rock staggers around, Austin flips him a double bird and performs a second Stone Cold Stunner]'' ACK!
:'''Jim''': THE STUNNER! THE STUNNER! ''[Austin goes for the pin]'' WILL AUSTIN—?! ''[Mankind counts the pin and the crowd counts along with him]''
:'''Jerry''': ''[Mankind counts 3 and the crowd erupts]'' NO!
:'''Jim''': ''[As he screams this, we cut to the announce table where Mr. McMahon is shown in shock]'' AUSTIN WINS! AUSTIN WINS!! AUSTIN WINS!!!
:'''Howard''': The winner of this bout and NEW World Wrestling Federation Champion: Stone Cold Steve Austin!
:'''Jerry''': This is awful!
:'''Jim''': THE RATTLESNAKE RULES! THE RATTLESNAKE RULES AGAIN! AND MR. McMAHON... McMAHON IS DISTRAUGHT! McMAHON IS ABSOLUTELY IN A DEEP STATE OF DEPRESSION! STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN IS THE WWF CHAMPION AGAIN! THE RATTLESNAKE CLIMBED THE MOUNTAIN!
:'''Jerry''': We need to help Mr. McMahon!
:'''Jim''': THE RATTLESNAKE OVERCAME ALL THE ODDS! ''[Austin climbs up the turnbuckle to salute the crowd]'' STONE COLD IS THE MAN!
:'''Jerry''': J.R., show some compassion! We need some help for Mr. McMahon!
:'''Jim''': You reap what you sow! Maybe Mr. McMahon got just what he deserved! ''[Mankind raises Austin's arm in victory and hands him the championship belt]'' Good God, what a WrestleMania, and McMahon ''cannot'' believe it! It is Vince McMahon's saddest day! The Rattlesnake rules! The Rattlesnake is the WWF Champion, by God!
:'''Jerry''': This is gonna go down as the blackest day in the history of the World Wrestling Federation! ''[Austin signals to timekeeper Mark Yeaton for some celebratory beer]'' Plus his first order of business as new champ, he got a— he's got more beers! Oh!
:'''Jim''': The Rattlesnake will toast these 20,000+ fans and the millions watching around the world! He did it! Austin did it! ''[Austin swigs his beer to the crowd]'' What a war that Austin waged with The Rock! Referees injured! Referees hospitalized! Potential referees jailed! And Austin overcame it all! My God, what a night! What a WrestleMania!
:'''Jerry''': Mr. McMahon, are you alright?
:'''Jim''': ''[mocking Jerry]'' &quot;Mr. McMahon, are you alright?&quot;
:'''Jerry''': ''[Mr. McMahon struggles to get up]'' Help him, J.R.! This is awful!
:'''Jim''': ''[Austin leaves the ring but stops halfway up the ramp]'' Well folks, mark it down. March the 28th: The Rattlesnake is back on top of the mountain! ''[Austin tosses his belt back into the ring; he follows to salute the crowd]'' There's 20,276, and, by God, they love it!
:'''Jerry''': ''[Still concerned about Mr. McMahon]'' He's hurt! C'mon, J.R., he's hurt! ''[Austin signals again for the timekeeper to toss him some beer]'' Oh yeah, give him more beer! ''[Pointing back to Mr. McMahon walking slowly back]'' Look at this!
:'''Jim''': Mr. McMahon barely able to stand! ''[Earl Hebner, the third and last referee to have been KO'ed during the course of the match, re-enters the ring; Austin toasts his beer with him]'' And The Rattlesnake...
:'''Jerry''': ''[Hebner swigs Austin's beer in the same manner as Austin]'' Look at this!
:'''Jim''': —is toasting the referee, Earl Hebner!
:'''Jerry''': Look at this, Earl Hebner!
:'''Jim''': He's toasting the fans! He's toasting everybody that works for a living!
:'''Jerry''': ''[to Hebner]'' You can't drink on the job, you idiot!
:'''Jim''': The job is done! Has Mr. McMahon ever had a sadder day? Has he ever had a worse day, King?
:'''Jerry''': No, he hasn't! And this is awful!
:'''Jim''': ''[As he says this, Austin, holding another beer, toasts his championship belt and raises said beer to the home audience. He mouths &quot;Ya got that shit, right?&quot;]'' LONG LIVE THE RATTLESNAKE! LONG LIVE STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!
:'''Jerry''': He'll think of something! Mr. McMahon will think of something! He's got to!
:'''Jim''': ''[Overlapping Jerry's last word]'' It's too late! It's too late! The job is done! Austin is the champion! And there's not a darn thing that Mr. McMahon can do about it! What a phenomenon! And—! ''[Austin climbs out of the ring, only to be confronted by an angry Mr. McMahon]''
:'''Jerry''': Uh oh.
:'''Mr. McMahon''': ''[snarls at Austin]'' You dirty son of a bitch! That's not your belt, that's my belt! That's ''my'' belt! That's mine—that's not yours, that's my belt! And ''you'' don't deserve it!
:''[Austin feigns giving the belt back before he beats up McMahon]'' 
:'''Jim''': OH!
:'''Jerry''': No!
:'''Jim''': A RIGHT HAND!
:'''Jerry''': Oh no!
:'''Jim''': LOOK AT AUSTIN, HE'S GONNA ASSAULT THE OWNER!
:''[Austin throws McMahon into the ring]''
:'''Jerry''': No he isn't! Get the cops! Get those cops in here!
:''[Austin gives McMahon a Stunner]''
:'''Jerry''': No!
:'''Jim''': STUNNER! STONE COLD JUST DROPPED THE OWNER OF THE WWF! STONE COLD IS THE WWF CHAMPION!
:''[Austin pour a beer over the lifeless body of McMahon]''
:'''Jerry''': Ahh! Another beer-bath!
:'''Jim''': WHAT A TOAST! HAVE A COLD ONE ON ME, VINNIE MAC!
:'''Jerry''': ''[reacts in McMahon being poured with another beer]'' No!
:''[McMahon, drenched in beer, tries to get up but is pressed down by Austin's right foot as Austin's hand is raised again by Earl Hebner to the crowd]''
:'''Jim''': Oh God, ladies and gentlemen, I wish you could all be here! What emotion! What electricity! Stone Cold Steve Austin has become the World Wrestling Federation (Champion)! And he did it, at WrestleMania XV!

=={{w|WrestleMania 2000}} (2000)==
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Oh, baby!
:'''{{w|Trish Stratus}}''': Let's go boys, time to show WrestleMania some {{w|T &amp; A (professional wrestling)|T &amp; A}}.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|Christian Cage|Christian}}''': We beat {{w|the Hardy Boyz}}. We beat {{w|the Dudley Boyz}}. We accomplished a life long goal, and that was to win these titles. But not without immense pain. And believe me when I say I’d go through it all again tomorrow if we have to, to keep these things.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|Chris Jericho}}''': And I can guarantee that {{w|Kurt Angle|Kirk Angel}} and {{w|Chris Benoit|Mr Roboto}} are gonna walk out of this match with bumps and bruises and a t-shirt that reads ‘I visited Anaheim and all I got was this lousy t-shirt and a Y2J beating that I will never eeeeeeeever forget a-''gain''’.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Road Dogg Jesse James''': Anaheim, California, welcome to the Dogg House!
:The D-O-Double-G and X-Pac in Californ-I-A
:Wishin &quot;Happy Birthday&quot; to my boy Dustin J
:Lookin' at the Presidential, it's about that time
:For us to get stinky like some bud that's kine
:Now then, two tears in a bucket
:And if you ain't down with that, we got two words for ya!
:'''Crowd''': SUCK IT!

=={{w|WrestleMania X-Seven}} (2001)==
:'''Jim Ross''': Right to Censor, led by Steven Richards, certainly an extremist group from where I sit. They believe people should live their lives in one way: that's the RTC way.
:'''{{w|Paul Heyman}}''': Personally, I would appreciate it if you'd use the word &quot;extreme&quot; in a much better context. I don't find them to be extremists, I find them to be hypocrites. They're censors, and even I have never liked a censor that I ever met.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Paul''': Why would anyone be proud of coming from the state of Texas?
:'''Jim''': What do you mean by that?
:'''Paul''': Well, if there was a back door at the Alamo, Texas would be in Mexico.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|Jeff Hardy}}''': There's always danger when it comes to the Hardy Boyz because we give it our all every night man, we put our bodies on the line all the time. And TLC matches are very dangerous and you're right, there's alot of elements of danger in these matches and all we got to say is, I mean, I'm going into this match like it's my last.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Paul''': The time is now. It's the match that both men have to win, and neither man can afford to lose.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Paul''': ''[as Undertaker and Triple H fight]'' And here we go! The fight is on!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': ''[The Rock has just kicked out of a shot from a chair handed to Stone Cold Steve Austin by Mr. McMahon. McMahon now gives orders to Austin to assault Rock with the chair]'' Mr. McMahon brought the chair in the ring, and now Austin's using it on the Rock! There's no disqualifcation! Austin beating the living hell out of the Rock with that McMahon-endorsed steel chair! Come on, Steve, STOP! ''[One final shot, and Austin goes for the cover]'' WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? ''[Earl Hebner counts and a confused crowd counts along with Mr. McMahon]'' WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!
:'''Paul''': ''[Hebner counts 3]'' IT'S A NEW CHAMPION!
:'''Jim''': STOP ALREADY! God almighty, I can't...!
:'''Howard Finkel''': The winner of this bout, and NEW World Wrestling Federation Champion: Stone Cold Steve Austin!
:'''Jim''': ''[The WWF Championship belt is handed to Austin; Austin then turns to face Mr. McMahon]'' What the hell is this? Austin face-to-face with McMahon!
:'''Paul''': ''[Pull back to reveal Stone Cold shaking McMahon's hand]'' THEY'RE SHAKING HANDS!
:'''Jim''': Stone Cold is shaking hands with Satan himself!! For the love of God, someone tell me this is not happening!
:'''Paul''': It's happening! Stone Cold Steve Austin has sold his soul for the WWF title! ''[Austin signals for beer and tosses some to Mr. McMahon]'' We are witnessing something that will be talked about for years to come!
:'''Jim''': I don't believe this! ''[Austin toasts McMahon and the two drink together]'' What the hell?!? Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch, I don't believe this! 
:'''Paul''': Steve Austin... 
:'''Jim''': Drinking a damn beer with Mr. McMahon! Stone Cold has sold his soul to Satan himself to win the WWF title! WHY, STEVE? WHY THIS WAY?!? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD THAT'S JUST ENOUGH! WHY HAS STONE COLD...?
:'''Paul''' McMahon and Austin are together. Vince McMahon and Stone Cold Steve Austin all together.
:'''Jim''': Austin and McMahon made us work, might as well urinate on The Rock. That's what they've done to him. I can't believe this. I thought I knew Austin. I thought I knew the Texas Rattlesnake!
:'''Paul''': Stone Cold has sold out his fans. He sold you and all of his fans right down the river, and you know what? You have to say the leopard never changes his spots, because he is a rattlesnake and that's what a rattlesnake will do.
:'''Jim''': I don't believe this. I thought I knew that man. I thought I knew Steve Austin. I was there in the hospital when he came out of surgery. I thought I knew him. He would never, I thought he would never ever. ''[Austin looks at the Rock.]'' What now? For the love of God, Steve, stop! Just stop it! The Rock has lost the title and now he's defenseless! ''[Austin hits Rock with the WWF Championship belt.]'' And oh damn! 
:'''Paul''': Vince McMahon and Stone Cold Steve Austin together. This is the dawning of a new era, the likes of which we have never ever seen before.
:'''Jim''': I know, I know, you've said that already. You said that and I don't like it a damn bit.
:'''Paul''': Well, there's not a damn thing you can do about it because Stone Cold and Mr. McMahon are together.
:''[replay shows]''
:'''Jim''': Look at the look of Austin's face here. He's like a wild wounded animal. I knew that Steve would win the WWF Title but not enough to sell his soul to my God Satan himself. This is a relentless, perverse, animalistic attack on another human being.
:'''Paul''': This is the action of the new WWF Champion. These are the actions of Stone Cold Steve Austin, a new Stone Cold Steve Austin who has befriended Mr. McMahon.
:'''Jim''': But why?! BY GOD I WANNA KNOW WHY! WE DESERVE TO KNOW WHY! WHY DID STONE COLD SELL HIS SOUL TO SATAN HIMSELF?!

=={{w|WrestleMania X8}} (2002)==
:''[Opening of WrestleMania X8]''
:'''The Undertaker''': Every major sport has their special event. The [[w:NFL|NFL]] has the [[w:Superbowl|Super Bowl]]. [[w:Major League Baseball|Major League Baseball]] has the [[w:World Series|World Series]]. The World Wrestling Federation has [[w:WrestleMania|WrestleMania]].
:'''Chris Jericho''': WrestleMania is the biggest show, by the biggest company in the entire world for sports entertainment.
:'''Ric Flair''': To a lot of fans it's bigger than the Superbowl. To ''me'', it's certainly bigger than the Superbowl.
:'''The Undertaker''': WrestleMania is called The Granddaddy Of 'Em All. And you stand on the grandest ''stage'' of 'em all. It's that time of year, when you're on the card at WrestleMania, that you stand before millions of people, and you stand before your peers. And it lets people know that you mean something.
:'''Triple H''': That's the ultimate dream— it's that bell rings and you're standing across the ring looking at another guy. You guys are the main event at the biggest event that there is. It couldn't mean any more.
:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': Having that spot means everything to me.
:'''Hollywood Hulk Hogan''': WrestleMania III was the greatest moment of my life. 93,000 people in the [[w:Pontiac Silverdome|Pontiac Silverdome]]. When I got [[w:Andre The Giant|Andre The Giant]] over my head and I bodyslammed him, the wrestling world stood in awe.
:'''The Undertaker''': WrestleMania? It's fever, man.
:'''The Rock''': There's really that x-factor— an intangible I can't explain. You just have to feel it.
:'''Scott Hall''': It's pressure. But it's that ''good'' kind of pressure.
:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': That's an adrenaline rush every single time I stepped through that curtain.
:'''Chris Jericho''': This is The Showcase Of The Immortals.
:'''The Undertaker''': It's the time to shine, and to take that spotlight, and make it mean something.
:'''Triple H''': Eight months of my life were spent in— in a rehab facility going through a lot of pain and— and hard times. All with one goal in mind: Once again, getting a shot to be WWF Champion. Once again, having the opportunity to get in the ring and— and go to WrestleMania again.
:'''Hollywood Hulk Hogan''': This is my comeback WrestleMania.
:'''The Rock''': This WrestleMania, WrestleMania X8, will be ''the'' biggest WrestleMania...in my entire career.
:'''Chris Jericho''': Tonight, on the biggest stage of all time, this is my biggest chance to make my mark in history, and to be remembered and acknowledged, as ''one of the greatest''.
:'''Hollywood Hulk Hogan''': I'm here because I want to prove that Hulk Hogan ''is'' the [[w:Babe Ruth|Babe Ruth]] of the WWF, and I don't want anybody else to take that spot.
:'''The Rock''': This match and match of this magnitude. The enormity of this match, uh, means so much. And it will be a torch passed on to me and letting me know, &quot;It's your turn, it's your time. You're the best.&quot;
:'''Ric Flair''': WrestleMania is undeniably the most magnificent.
:'''Scott Hall''': It's the biggest pedestal to be put on.
:'''Chris Jericho''': It's my biggest dream. And now it's my biggest reality.
:'''Triple H''': God, there's no feeling that could be like that in the world.
:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': It's nothing but 100% pure adrenaline.
:'''The Rock''': That's what the memories of WrestleMania are made of for me.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[The Rock and Hollywood Hulk Hogan facing off one another]''
:'''Jim Ross''': This is a WrestleMania moment.
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Look at those eyes.
:'''Jim''': On March 17, 2002. You can circle that date on your calendar. 'Cause I can tell you, it's gonna be a day that—that ''I'll'' never gonna forget. Quite frankly, a match, I thought I would never, ''ever'' see.
:'''Jerry''': We'll never see {{w|Mike Tyson|Tyson}} and {{w|Muhammad Ali|Ali}}, we'll never see [[Babe Ruth]] and {{w|Barry Bonds}}, but we are gonna get to witness the Rock and [[w:Hulk Hogan|the Hulk]]. Only at WrestleMania, and only in the WWF, J.R.!
:''[The bell rings, signifying the start of the match]''
:'''Jerry''': Here we go!
:'''Jim''': History in the making now!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': The Undertaker has moved up! He’s 10-0! 10-0!!

=={{w|WrestleMania XIX}} (2003)==
:''[Chris Jericho is setting up for a Sweet Chin Music on Shawn Michaels]''
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': No, wait a minute-! 
:'''Jim Ross''': ...Oh no you don’t, you're kidding me! 
:'''Jerry''': No, would I be kidding? Yeah believe your eyes, you’re seeing it!
:'''Jim''': There's impersonation, the most sincere form of flattery! 
:'''Jerry''': Well, not when you can do it better than the original! Sweet Chin Music!!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|Jonathan Coachman}}''': Rock, how excited are you? It's WrestleMania, over 54,000 people...
:'''{{w|Dwayne Johnson|The Rock}}''': People? The ''people''? The same people who booed the Rock at last year's WrestleMania? The same people who booed the Rock when he sang and gave the concert of a lifetime? The same people who chant &quot;Sell-Out&quot; to the Rock? Oh, the Rock is a sell-out. The Rock has sold out this and every WrestleMania he's ever been in. You see, Coach...you see, Coach, these people hurt me. They hurt the People's Champ, so tonight, the Rock could care ''less'' about the people. You see, Coach, the Rock is here for one reason, and one reason only, and that is to fulfill his destiny—fulfill ''my'' destiny, and that is to beat Stone Cold Steve Austin right in the middle of the ring at WrestleMania: 1...2...3. This is the Holy Grail, the one thing that the Rock has never done, the one thing I've never done. It consumes me, it eats me alive! Coach, this night, the biggest night of my life, this is everything to the Rock—everything. Oh yeah, for the past two occasions, Stone Cold Steve Austin has beaten the Rock right in the middle of the ring, right in the middle of that ring, 1 2 3, he's beaten the Rock. But if there's one thing that Hollywood has taught me, that's Act 1 and Act 2, they don't matter. The only thing that matters, everyone remembers Act 3. The end, the climax, the grand finale, this is the last chapter to the greatest rivalry this industry has ever seen. When Stone Cold Steve Austin goes one-on-one with the Jabroni-beatin', l-l-l-l-ow! pie-eatin', not afraid to sweat, not afraid to bleed, gonna beat that bald-headed bastard, guaran-damn-teed! And then, Coach, the Rock would have done it all. Finally... finally.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': ''[On {{w|Booker T (wrestler)|Booker T}}]'' Maybe he's having a flashback to his time behind bars. 
:'''Jim''': Why don't you get off that horse. You have ridden it to the godda- to the ground King. To the ground! 
:'''Jerry''': Easy, JR, easy!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After Booker T knocks down an interfering Ric Flair]''
:'''Jerry''': This is very disrespectful on the part of Booker T. 
:'''Jim''': Flair has no business up here, DAMMIT! No business!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael Cole''': 11-0 for the Undertaker!

=={{w|WrestleMania XX}} (2004)==
:''[Opening of WrestleMania XX]''
:''[From the darkness, we hear approaching footsteps. Vince McMahon appears in view looking around.]''
:'''Narrator''': Twenty years ago, one man had a vision. It began here...
:''[Closeup of McMahon staring towards the camera]''
:'''Narrator''': ...and it would change our world.
:'''Vince McMahon''': ''[from [[w:WrestleMania 2|WrestleMania 2]]]'' Welcome to WrestleMania!
:'''Narrator''': As the vision grew, we cheered it on...
:'''Jesse &quot;The Body&quot; Ventura''': I never thought it could be done, Gorilla!
:'''Narrator''': Stood in awe...
:'''Gorilla Monsoon''': ''[from [[w:WrestleMania III|Wrestlemania III]]]'' The irresistible force meeting the immovable object!
:'''Narrator''': Held onto our seats...
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': ''[from [[w:WrestleMania XIX|WrestleMania XIX]]]'' History has been made!
:'''Narrator''': And gave up our hearts.
:'''Vince McMahon''': ''[from [[w:WrestleMania XII|WrestleMania XII]]]'' The boyhood dream has come true!
:'''Narrator''': We watched with utter disbelief...
:'''Jim Ross''': No! He won't do the same!
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Oh! I can't believe my eyes!
:'''Narrator''': Stunned silence...
:'''Jim Ross''': ''[from [[w:WrestleMania XIV|WrestleMania XIV]]]'' The Austin Era has begun!
:'''Narrator''': And sheer amazement.
:'''Tazz''': ''[from [[w:WrestleMania XIX|WrestleMania XIX]]]'' Oh my god!
:'''Narrator''': But above all, we've been inspired, and enriched, by the vision.
:'''Jim Ross''': ''[from [[w:WrestleMania XIX|WrestleMania XIX]]]'' Welcome to WrestleMania!
:'''Eddie Guerrero''': Sometimes, things are so special in your life that words cannot explain...
:'''Brock Lesnar''': The history, alone, in that place makes Madison Square Garden special...
:'''The Rock''': My family's gonna come there. My [[w:Dany Garcia|wife]], my mom, [[w:Rocky Johnson|my dad]], [[w:Ava (wrestler)|my daughter]]...
:'''John Cena''': Everything that I've ever wanted out of life comes down to this one day, this one short period of time...
:'''Chris Benoit''': My passion. The thing you dream about, and consumes you...
:'''Kurt Angle''': People are gonna remember this forever...
:'''Mick Foley''': People will say, &quot;Y'know, that match was worth coming back for.&quot;
:'''Big Show''': You haven't lived, you haven't breathed, until you've danced at WrestleMania...
:'''Narrator''': ''Tonight'' will be like no other! Tonight is the Showcase Of The Immortals! They will achieve the impossible and forge new beginnings! Tonight ''men'' will hunt down their dreams! Tonight ''no one'' holds back! And tonight is where it all begins...
:''[McMahon smiles at the camera]''
:'''Narrator''': ...Again.
:''[Camera pulls back to see his son Shane McMahon, alongside newborn Declan James McMahon. Three generations of McMahons.]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|John Cena}}''': You've got the franchise player on the Super Bowl stage
:So get that gorilla Big Show out of his cage
:Ain't no way that I'm a lose to that King Kong rip-off
:That's like Gary Coleman beating Patrick Ewing in a tip-off
:Big Show's really an ape with opposable thumbs
:And he stuffs his singlet, looks like he's smuggling plums
:Everybody knows that he can't see me
:I'm itching to beat him like a penis with a STD
:I'm not even wrestling the Big Show, this whole thing's a charade
:My match is with the hippo float from the Macy's parade
:So its time to get a championship to match these custom knucks
:Madison Square, chant it loud baby, Big Show sucks.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Backstage, Eddie Guerrero, with his WWE Championship belt, walks into the locker room to see Chris Benoit pacing back and forth]''
:'''Eddie Guerrero''': Órale, Benoit!
:'''Chris Benoit''': ''[sees Guerrero]'' Hey, how you doin'.
:'''Guerrero''': ''[see Benoit still pacing back and forth]'' Wassup, homes? What's goin' on, vato? ''[chuckles]'' Careful homes. Uh, you might, uh, dig your own trench here— all you pacing back and forth, ese. Heh. I can you see you're, uh, getting focused, right? I mean, WrestleMania XX, ese vato, it's only the biggest night of y—
:'''Benoit''': ''[stops Guerrero]'' H-hey-hey-hey! I know, I know. ''[beat]'' I know... ''[paces again]''
:'''Guerrero''': That's right, Chris, you know. I mean, all the years...that you put into it...you working out...time away from your family...working through your injuries—
:'''Benoit''': ''[stops and interrupts]'' Alright, Eddie. ''[paces again]'' I know...
:'''Guerrero''': Chris, come here. Let me talk to you. ''[Benoit stops and complies]'' Bro, I just want you to know, okay? I've been like a brother to you. Talkin' to you like familia, ese vato. I just want you to know, man, that no matter what happens tonight, ese, I'm proud of you, ese.
:'''Benoit''': ''[pats Guerrero on the back]'' Proud of you.
:'''Guerrero''': Win or lose, I'm always gonna be proud—
:'''Benoit''': ''[taken aback]'' Woah— hey. ''[points to himself]'' There's no lose, and don't talk to me like that. Alright?
:'''Guerrero''': Well, I mean, c'mon, Chris, you're taking on HBK— ''Triple H''— it's the biggest night of your life, man, the biggest match of your career! Homes, I mean...c'mon, vato, nobody really expect you to ''win'', ese. Nobody really...believes—
:'''Benoit''': ''[incensed]'' —believes in me? Believes in me!? ''I believe in me! I BELIEVE IN ME!''
:''[Guerrero looks away from Benoit]''
:'''Benoit''': ''I BEL—'' ''[forces Guerrero to look Benoit in the face]'' ''LOOK AT ME! I BELIEVE IN ME!'' And that's all that damn well matters! I've known you for 12 years! You've never turned your back on me! Huh? What's up with tonight? Huh? Tonight is my night. My night! ''My night!'' Because ''I'' believe! I'm proud of you. ''[points to Guerrero's title]'' [[w:No Way Out (2004)|You've won your WWE Title.]] Huh? ''[points to himself]'' Tonight...is ''my'' night.
:''[Guerrero glares at Benoit before laughing]''
:'''Benoit''': ''[unamused]'' What the hell are you laughing at?
:'''Guerrero''': ''[overlapping]'' ''Órale'', vato! ''[tries to comfort Benoit]''
:'''Benoit''': ''[overlapping]'' WHAT the hell are you laughing— ''[sees Guerrero's hand and flinches away]'' Woah—
:'''Guerrero''': ''[excitedly]'' ''TAKE IT EASY, ESE! SEE, THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET OUT OF YOU, HOMES! THIS FIRE!'' Because, ''this'' is the Chris Benoit ''I'' believe! That ''fire'' that's in your eyes, man! ''That's'' the Wolverine that I took on [[w:Best of the Super Juniors|every night in Japan]]! ''That's'' the Wolverine that's gonna ''tear'' Triple H and HBK apart, and walk out the World Heavyweight Champion—!
:'''Benoit''': ''[comforts Guerrero]'' You damn right! 'Cause after tonight, ''you'' will be walking out of Madison Square Garden ''[points to Guerrero's title again]'' with the WWE Title!
:'''Guerrero''': ''[rears his head back excitedly]'' Órale!
:'''Benoit''': And ''I'' will be walking out the new World Heavyweight Champion!
:'''Guerrero''': Yeah!
:'''Benoit''': And that is that! ''[walks off]''
:'''Guerrero''': Órale, vato! ''I BELIEVE, CHRIS!''
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Kurt Angle has Eddie Guerrero in an ankle lock on Eddie's injured left ankle]''
:'''Michael Cole''': Eddie's been dragged to the center of the ring.
:'''Tazz''': This is it, the ankle lock is on for a fourth time in this match.
:'''Michael''': Will the Champion tap out?
:'''Tazz''': Just tap out, Eddie!
:''[Eddie pushes his left foot out of his boot with his right foot, pushing Kurt away with the boot]''
:'''Michael''': Wait a minute! The boot went flying?
:'''Tazz''': The boot came off.
:''[Angle runs at Eddie, who rolls him up in a small package]''
:'''Michael''': Look at this! Small package! 
:'''Tazz''': ''[Nick Patrick counts, not seeing Eddie hook the rope with his feet]'' One...two... ''[Patrick counts three]'' NO!
:'''Michael''': EDDIE WINS! EDDIE WINS! EDDIE WINS! EDDIE WINS!
:''[Eddie quickly rolls out of the ring]''
:'''Tazz''': Because he cheated!
:'''Tony Chimel''': Here is your winner, and STILL WWE Champion: Eddie Guerrero!
:'''Michael''': ''[over Chimel's announcement]'' OH MY GOD!
:'''Tazz''': What the hell?! Guerrero cheated, I'm tellin' ya!
:'''Michael''': What the hell's wrong with that?! He lies, he cheats, he steals! That's who Eddie Guerrero is!
:'''Tazz''': Kurt Angle's irate! He's hanging onto the boot! Did the boot come off?
:''[Angle throws the boot at a taunting Eddie]''
:'''Michael''': Wait a minute. There's nothing wrong with Eddie's ankle! He outsmarted Kurt Angle, did Eddie! Eddie Guerrero loosened the boot, knowing Kurt Angle would go for the ankle lock again. Eddie Guerrero outsmarted Kurt Angle!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Paul Bearer''': ''[to Kane before The Undertaker made his entrance]'' My son! You're no son of mine!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Kane''' ''[as he sees the Undertaker]'': I BURIED YOU ALIVE!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim Ross''': The Deadman and Paul Bearer live! 
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Final moments of WrestleMania XX]''
:''[Shawn Michaels at the corner, tuning up the band for his finisher Sweet Chin Music, as Chris Benoit slowly gets up]''
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': I think he'll kick the first man to his feet, and that looks like Benoit!
:''[Michaels charges at Benoit, who countered and hoisted Michaels by the leg over the top rope out of the ring.]''
:'''Jerry''': WHOA!
:'''Jim Ross''': BENOIT DUCKED THE SWEET CHIN MUSIC, AND GOT MICHAELS OVER THE TOP!
:''[Benoit gets up by the rope, as Triple H groggily taunts Benoit to turn around]''
:'''Jim''': TRIPLE H IS BACK UP!
:''[Benoit turns to see Triple kick him in the gut]''
:'''Jim''': LOOK OUT—!
:'''Jerry''': ''[overlapping Jim]'' OH YES!
:'''Jim''': ''[Chris Benoit is being hooked into position for the Pedigree]'' BENOIT—THE GAME—!
:'''Jerry''': YES!
:'''Jim''': TRIPLE H, PEDIGREE TIME... ''[Benoit slips out, takes Triple H down by his left arm, and hooks the Crippler Crossface on him]'' NO! COUNTERED!
:'''Jerry''': ACK!
:'''Jim''': COUNTERED! COUNTERED! THE CROSSFACE! ''[Earl Hebner drops down to Triple H's level and asks him if he wants to submit]'' BENOIT GOT THE CROSSFACE!
:'''Jerry''': NO! No no no! Get to the ropes!
:'''Jim''': TRIPLE H IS DESPERATE! THE SENSE OF URGENCY IS OVERWHELMING! THE CHAMPION REACHING FOR THE ROPES!
:'''Jerry''': Fight it! Fight it, Triple H!
:'''Jim''': WILL TRIPLE H TAP? CAN BENOIT DO IT?
:'''Jerry''': ROPES! Get to the ropes!
:'''Jim''': TRIPLE H...
:'''Jerry''': OH! He's fading! He's fading, JR!
:'''Jim''': TRIPLE H IS FADING AWAY! IS BENOIT THIS CLOSE TO WINNING THE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD?
:'''Jerry''': Come on, Game! Reach your foot out, anything! It's your World Heavyweight Championship!
:''[Hebner checks the arm, but it doesn't go down as the crowd goes &quot;Oh!&quot;]''
:'''Jim''': Triple H...
:'''Jerry''': He's still alive; there's life left. REACH!
:'''Jim''': The Game is being tortured by the Wolverine! ''[Triple H pushes off with his right arm...]''
:'''Jerry''': Fight! Claw! Come on!
:'''Jim''': And it's all over! ''[Triple H flops on his back, in an attempt to break the Crossface...]''
:'''Jerry''': Oh, no!
:'''Jim''': The Game countered... ''[...but it fails, leaving both he and Benoit on the opposite side of the ring]'' But look... BUT BENOIT DIDN'T LET GO! BENOIT HELD ON LIKE A PIT BULL! BENOIT IS TORTURING THE CHAMPION WITH THE CROSSFACE! WILL TRIPLE H TAP OUT? WILL HE TAP OUT?
:'''Jerry''': ''[overlapping Jim]'' Ther—There's gotta be ''something'' that can be done!
:'''Jim''': ''[overlapping Jerry]'' THE TITLE'S ON THE LINE!
:'''Jerry''': ''Something, anything!''
:'''Jim''': THE TITLE'S ON THE LINE! BENOIT RIPPING AND TEARING... ''[Triple H finally submits and the crowd erupts]''
:'''Jerry''': AHH! NO!
:'''Jim''': IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER!
:'''Jerry''': NO! ''[Hebner grabs the title and orders Benoit to break the hold, which he does]''
:'''Howard Finkel''': ''[as he says this, Benoit lies on his stomach and begins crying]'' The winner of this bout, and NEW World Heavyweight Champion: Chris Benoit!
:'''Jim''': THIS SOLD-OUT CROWD AT MADISON SQUARE GARDEN HAS ERUPTED! CHRIS BENOIT'S 18-YEAR ODYSSEY HAS CULMINATED BY WINNING THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE AT WRESTLEMANIA XX!
:''[Benoit, in tears, is on his knees as Hebner presents him the World Heavyweight Championship belt. Hebner gets Benoit up and raises his arms]''
:'''Jim''': BENOIT, SO MANY TIMES, HAVE BEEN SO CLOSE! YEAR AFTER YEAR! MILE AFTER MILE! CONTINENT AFTER CONTINENT! BUT BENOIT NEVER GAVE UP! HE ''NEVER'' GAVE UP! AND BENOIT HAS DONE IT! BENOIT IS LIVING HIS DREAM! FINALLY! FINALLY! BY GOD, ''FINALLY'', CHRIS BENOIT HAS BECOME THE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THIS WORLD!
:''[Benoit climbs to the top turnbuckle and raises his World Heavyweight Championship. As Benoit climbs back down, the camera pulls back to see Eddie Guerrero standing in the center of the ring with his defended WWE Championship on his hand.]''
:'''Jerry''': ''[Referring to Guerrero]'' But look, J.R., look! Look who's in the ring!
:'''Jim''': Eddie Guerrero, the WWE Champion!
:''[Guerrero hoists his WWE Championship by the shoulder and applauds to his real-life best friend.]''
:'''Jim''': Well, let's not forget the history of these two men! ''[Guerrero goes to hug Benoit]'' Eddie Guerrero, with a heartfelt embrace on his friend, Chris Benoit! These men have traveled the world over so many times, and they're both shedding tears of joy! Because Chris Benoit can say, &quot;I won the Heavyweight Championship of the World! At Madison Square Garden! At WrestleMania XX!&quot; 
:''[Guerrero points to Benoit for the crowd as confetti rained all over Madison Square Garden. Guerrero raises Benoit's arm up with their respective championships in the center of the ring.]''
:'''Jim''': Well, I'll tell you what, folks, for my money, this has been the greatest WrestleMania of all time!
:''[Guerrero embraces Benoit again]''
:'''Jim''': Seven championships were decided! But none bigger, King, than what we have just witnessed!
:'''Jerry''': The WWE Champion! The World Champion! Together in the ring at the same time! What a sight! Only like you said, J.R., at WrestleMania XX!
:'''Jim''': Well, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for being with us! We certainly appreciate it! This has been WrestleMania: Where it has all begun...again!

=={{w|WrestleMania 21}} (2005)==

:''[During the Money in the Bank Ladder Match, Chris Benoit at the top of the ladder reaching for the briefcase]''
:'''Jim Ross''': Benoit's gonna win this thing, King. He deserves it after what he's gone through.
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': I gotta agree with you now. Benoit ''does'' deserve this.
:''[Edge nails Benoit in the arm with a chair, sending him off the ladder]''
:'''Jim''': Into the arm! {{w|Edge (wrestler)|Edge}} hit Benoit in the injured arm! And the opportunistic Edge! ''[Edge climbs the ladder]'' Don't tell me Edge is gonna win this thing! No, come on!
:'''Jerry''': Look!
:'''Jim''': Somebody get in there!
:'''Jerry''': He's there! Edge is there! He's teetering... ''[Edge unhooks the briefcase]'' but he's got it! Oh, my God, Edge has done it!
:'''Jim''': Edge has won the match!
:'''Howard Finkel''': Here is your winner: Edge!
:'''Jerry''': That chair shot, that vicious chair shot on Benoit's bad arm!
:''[Edge runs back, hugging the briefcase]''
:'''Jim''': Benoit was one step away from winning this Money in the Bank ladder match! One step away, King!
:'''Jerry''': But I gotta say, if Benoit didn't do it, if anybody deserved to win this match, Edge did. Edge deserved it. Look at that look of satisfaction on his face.
:'''Jim''': Well, I figure 20,193 here in Hollywood that might not agree with you. Edge, in any event, can wrestle the world's heavyweight champion, whomever that may be, anytime he chooses within the next twelve months.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|Muhammad Hassan (wrestler)|Muhammad Hassan}}''': ''[speaking slowly]'' Do you... have any i-de-a... why I'm angry?
:'''{{w|Nick Dinsmore|Eugene}}''': You don't like midgets?
:'''Muhammad Hassan''' Midgets. Yeah, midgets. No! What I don't like... is being excluded... from the biggest show... of the year! Now, everyone knows that Hollywood is filled with phonies and fakes and that Los Angeles has a long and profound history of prejudice and bigotry! Well, I have never been pinned in my career and yet, I'm excluded, I have to take a backseat to a disgrace like you! ''[Davarai speaks foreign language]'' Now, I said that I would not, could not, and am not gonna stand for this! And If I wasn't given a Wrestlemania moment, I was gonna create one myself.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': ''[about the Undertaker/Randy Orton match]'' It is the Legend vs. the Legend Killer on the grand stage of WrestleMania!

=={{w|WrestleMania 22}} (2006)==

:'''{{w|Randy Orton}}''': ''[to Mean Gene Okerlund]'' So let me get this right? You get into the Hall of Fame just for holding a mic for 35 years? 
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''&quot;Million Dollar Man&quot; Ted DiBiase''': ''[Eugene is bouncing a basketball backstage]'' 95, 96, 97, 98... ''[DiBiase kicks the ball away from Eugene]'' Ahh, Eugene! So close, but you don't get the money! HAHAHAHAHA! ''[turns to Booker T, who with Sharmell is preparing for his handicap match with the Boogeyman]'' Hey Booker, you want to make a thousand bucks? 
:'''Booker T''': Hell no, I don't want to make a thousand bucks! 
:'''DiBiase''': Everybody's got a price for the Million Dollar Man! HAHAHAHAHA!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim Ross''' Trish looking for Stratusfaction here.
:''[ {{w|Mickie James}} grabs Trish's crotch, causing her to instinctively let go]''
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Woah, wait a minute!
:''[Mickie licks up her hand, ending between her fingers]''
:'''Jim''': What the heck?
:...
:'''Jim''': Mickie James trying to take Trish mentally right out of her game after physically trying to take that left leg away.
:'''Jerry''': Took me mentally right out of ''my'' game, I'll tell you that.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': The nutjob has won the title!
:'''{{w|Lilian Garcia}}:''' Here is your winner and the NEW {{w|WWE Women's Championship (1956–2010)|WWE Women's Champion}}: Mickie James!
:'''Jerry''': The inmate's gonna be running the asylum!
:'''Jim''': I think there's some fans here that got a hall pass from the home. They're actually cheering this psychotic woman.
:''[Mickie, with the belt, blows a kiss to Trish as she leaves]''
:'''Jim''': Mickie James use some very unique, feminine strategy to take Trish Status mentally out of the game, and some ''overt'' physicality...to exploit the leg, and then, capture the title in her first WrestleMania match. Mickie James has won the title.
:''[Highlights of the match is shown]''
:'''Jerry''': Let's check out— ''This'' was the momentum-changer right there. That kick into Trish's leg. And then—and then, Trish's nose—I think her face...
:'''Jim''': Chick Kick, knocked Trish right to the face.
:'''Jerry''': Yep.
:'''Jim''': The hook to the leg, and Trish—didn't have enough to kick out. And Mickie James has won the Women's Title at her first Wrestlemania.
:'''Jerry''': And she did it by using Trish Stratus's own finishing move against her.
:'''Jim''': And I'll say it again, Mick, you got one win for ya. [[w:Lithium_(medication)|Lithium!]] Get some help!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Backstage, Vince McMahon flex his pecs in front of the McMahon Family]''
:'''Stephanie McMahon''': Whoa, Dad, you look huge! You look awesome! Oh yeah! Way bigger than those 24-inch pythons!
:'''Shane McMahon''': ''[overlapping]'' Phenomenal! Look at that! Oh, HBK is going down, oh baby! Ohh!
:'''Linda McMahon''': ''[overlapping]'' Awesome. Awesome! Awesome, awesome! ''[agreeing Stephanie]'' Ohh, big man!
:'''Mr. McMahon''': ''[overlapping]'' Oh yeah! Can you imagine—can you imagine Shawn Michaels insinuating that ''I'm'' the one that should be praying? Huh? ''[to Stephanie]'' Can ''you'' imagine that?
:'''Stephanie''': No.
:'''Mr. McMahon''': You imagine me, Vincent Kennedy McMahon, ''praying''?
:'''McMahon Family''': ''[in unison]'' No.
:'''Mr. McMahon''': Guess what? That's exactly what I'm gonna do—as a matter of fact, that's exactly what ''we're'' gonna do. We're gonna have our first ever McMahon Family Prayer. Everybody on your knees. C'mon, get on your knee. C'mon. ''[to Stephanie]'' I know you're pregnant, get down, c'mon.
:'''Shane''': Are you serious?
:'''Mr. McMahon''': Yeah, I'm serious. Get down.
:'''Stephanie''': Okay. ''[struggles to get down]''
:'''Mr. McMahon''': C'mon. Alright. Close your eyes and bow your head. ''[to God]'' God? Let's face it: I don't like you! You don't like me! I've defied every law you've ever had, and yet been ''tremendously'' successful! And I'm sure, God, you never intended on a 60-year old to have a ''Herculean'' physique as I do! I know, God, that...you and I aren't close but I know you and Shawn Michaels are very, very close. So tonight, God, I like to tell you what I'm gonna do with your favorite wrestler! I'm gonna send Shawn Michaels down to the ''FIERY DEPTHS OF HELL''! AMEN!
:'''Stephanie and Linda''': Amen!
:'''Shane''': ''[Nods sheepishly]'' Amen.
:'''Mr. McMahon''': HALLELUJAH!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Shawn Michaels''': ''[to Mr. McMahon]'' I WANT ''YOU'' TO ''WATCH THIS''! I'M GONNA KNOCK...YOUR TEETH! ''DOWN! YOUR! THROAT!'' ''[Delivers his Sweet Chin Music to McMahon's jaw]''
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|Tazz}}''': Springboard! Whoa! My God!
:'''Michael Cole''': Springboard, into a cover!
:'''Tazz''': ''[counting along with Charles Robinson]'' ONE, TWO, THREE!
:'''Michael''': HE GOT HIM! HE GOT HIM! HE GOT HIM! OH MY! MYSTERIO WINS THE TITLE!
:'''Tony Chimel''': Here is your winner, and the NEW World Heavyweight Champion, {{w|Rey Mysterio}}!
:'''Michael''': Ladies and gentlemen, dreams do come true!
:'''Tazz''': It's WrestleMania, Cole. You're damn skippy dreams come true! Rey Mysterio's the new champ!
:'''Michael''': At 15 years old, Rey Mysterio began wrestling in a small church in Mexico. 16 years later, his journey culminates, winning the Championship on the grandest stage of all, ''WrestleMania''!
:'''Tazz''': Oh, my God! What a match we've witnessed, Cole! I'll tell you what, major big ups to Kurt Angle ''and'' Randy Orton, and congratulations to that man, right there, Rey Mysterio... And you know the late, great {{w|Eddie Guerrero}}, Cole, is looking down upon Rey, and he's so proud of his &quot;amigo&quot;, man. God, I'm so happy for Rey, man!
:'''Michael''': Rey Mysterio showing tonight, ladies and gentlemen, that if you dream hard enough, and if you work hard enough, and if you bust your ass night in and night out, dreams will indeed come true. Rey Mysterio is the World Heavyweight Champion!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': The Undertaker’s legacy continues on! 14-0 at WrestleMania!

=={{w|WrestleMania 23}} (2007)==
:''[Opening of WrestleMania 23]''
:'''John Cena''': When we were young...
:'''Edge''': When we were young...
:'''King Booker''': When we were young...
:'''John Cena''': We dreamed of this day...
:'''Bobby Lashley''': Of this opportunity...
:'''Bastista''': This chance...
:'''Edge''': To shine...
:'''Shawn Michaels''': Prove to the world...
:'''John Cena''': Prove to myself...
:'''Mr. Kennedy''': That I'm a superstar...
:'''Ashley''': A diva...
:'''Shawn Michaels''': An athlete...
:'''Batista''': More than you think...
:'''Randy Orton''': And greater than you heard...
:'''Shawn Michaels''': That I'm a champion.
:'''Chris Benoit''': We've dedicated our lives...
:'''The Undertaker''': Sacrificed...
:'''Shawn Michaels''': Surrendered our bodies...
:'''Randy Orton''': Sweat...
:'''Edge''': Bled...
:'''Batista''': Cried...
:'''Shawn Michaels''': Healed...
:'''Jeff Hardy''': And focused our minds...
:'''Montel Vontavious Porter''': In the hopes to get here...
:'''Finlay''': This is where it all comes together...
:'''Shawn Michaels''': WrestleMania.
:'''Batista''': WrestleMania.
:'''King Booker''': WrestleMania. Now...
:'''John Cena''': I'm all grown up.
:'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': I'm all grown up.
:'''Batista''': I'm all grown up.
:'''Bobby Lashley''': We're all grown up.
:'''Shawn Michaels''': Today is ''my'' day...
:'''Batista''': Tonight is ''our'' night...
:'''John Cena''': The stage is mine...
:'''Mr. Kennedy''': Where I will show the world...
:'''Bobby Lashley''': I will prove to myself...
:'''John Cena''': That I'm the best...
:'''Montel Vontavious Porter''': The most powerful...
:'''CM Punk''': That I'm the most extreme...
:'''Shawn Michaels''': That the kid's still got it...
:'''Randy Orton''': The most intense...
:'''The Undertaker''': Immortal...
:'''John Cena''': That I—
:'''Randy Orton''': That I—
:'''Kane''': That I—
:'''Chris Benoit''': ''I''—
:'''Edge''': I—
:'''Ashley''': I—
:'''CM Punk''': I—
:'''The Undertaker''': I...
:'''Batista''': Am champion—
:'''Bobby Lashley''': Am champion—
:'''Melina''': Am champion—
:'''Shawn Michaels''': Am champion—
:'''John Cena''': ...am a champion.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[as Jeff Hardy sets up a ladder in the ring and Matt Hardy lays Edge, who was dropped to the outside by Randy Orton, horizontally onto another ladder between the ring and the barricade]''
:'''Jim Ross''': Jeff Hardy with a golden opportunity. Can Jeff Hardy capitalize?
:'''John &quot;Bradshaw&quot; Layfield''': A world title is at stake here.
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Whoa, wait a minute. Wait, whoa-
:'''JBL''': What the hell's he doing?
:'''Tazz''': Matt Hardy...
:'''JBL''' ''[as Jeff begins to climb the ladder in the ring, nowhere near the briefcase]'': Win the damn match, Jeff! What the hell's wrong with you, kid?!
:'''Tazz''': Yeah, Matt put Edge on that ladder and Matt's telling-
:'''Michael Cole''': Oh, my lord!
:'''JBL''' ''[as Matt is signaling to Jeff to take Edge out]'' What's wrong with you, you lunatic?! Win the damn match!!
:'''Jerry''': Grab the briefcase!
:'''JBL''': You've got a shot at the world championship, Jeff! Damn him to hell! No, come on!
:'''Jerry''' ''[as Jeff reaches the top of the ladder]'': No way.
:'''Tazz''': Get the ladder, Jeff!
:'''JBL''': No, no...
:'''Jim''': Jeff Hardy said he was gonna steal WrestleMania!
:'''Michael''' ''[as Jeff leaps from the top of the ladder]'': You gotta be kidding me!
:''[Jeff hits a diving leg drop on Edge, snapping the horizontal ladder and taking both men out]''
:'''Jim''': Oh, God almighty!
:'''Jerry''': Oh my God!
:'''Jim''': Good lord! The ladder broke in half!
:'''Jerry''': They're history!
:'''Jim''' ''[as a shocked Matt and the referee check on both men]'': ''Edge'' may be broken in half! Jeff Hardy may have taken *himself* out of WrestleMania, in contention to win this Money in the Bank ladder match!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': ''[about Undertaker]'' HE IS THE EPITOME OF WRESTLEMANIA!!!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Backstage, Mr. McMahon gaze at himself with a full head of hair]''
:'''Mr. McMahon''': Yeah. Handsome son of a bitch.
:'''Stephanie McMahon''': ''[off-screen]'' Hi, Pop!
:'''Mr. McMahon''': Ha ha! Steph!
:'''Stephanie McMahon''': ''[overlapping]'' Wishing you luck in your match tonight.
:''[Stephanie enters with her daughter-in-crib]''
:'''Mr. McMahon''': Ha ha ha ha! Well, what do we have here, huh? Ha-heh! ''[snarls at Stephanie]'' What the hell are you doing with this baby in here? Bringing my granddaughter in here like this!
:'''Stephanie''': Look, I'll just take her away—
:'''Mr. McMahon''': Huh? Wha—No, you just leave it right here!
:'''Stephanie''': Dad.
:'''Mr. McMahon''': I want some good luck and maybe she can give it to me. Okay, relax, okay? ''[to granddaughter]'' Coo coo coo coo...Ha ha ha ha ha~
:''[Mr. McMahon coos some more only to be stopped by Stephanie]''
:'''Mr. McMahon''': ''[to Stephanie]'' I wash my hands. ''[continues to coo granddaughter again with laughter as the camera switches to the baby's POV]'' You came to see Grandpop, huh? Yeah, you came to see Grandpop beat up Donald Trump. That's just what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do that for you— You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna bash Donald Trump's head in. That's what I'm gonna do, yeah—
:'''Stephanie''': ''[concerned]'' Dad—
:'''Mr. McMahon''': ''[to Stephanie]'' Shut up. ''[to granddaughter]'' And you wanna think I'm gonna do? I'm gonna knoc— I'm gonna give him a skull fracture. How's that, huh? You like Pops to do that? Give the skull fracture? Yeah, I think so. Ha ha ha ha—
:'''Stephanie''': ''[concerned]'' Dad—
:'''Mr. McMahon''': ''[to Stephanie]'' Easy, now.
:'''Stephanie''': You're gonna scare her—
:'''Mr. McMahon''': ''[to granddaughter menacingly]'' And, I'm gonna ''bloody him up'', okay? ''I'm gonna bloody him up big time.'' ''[switches to gentle]'' Then I'm gonna shave his head bald. Yeah, I'd be out there pulling it out by the roots. You'd like that, huh? That look good, huh—?
:''[McMahon stops himself as he smells something unpleasant]''
:'''Mr. McMahon''': ''[to Stephanie]'' You smell what I smell? Smell it.
:''[Stephanie complies and also smells something unpleasant]''
:'''Mr. McMahon''': She just took a ''Trump''.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': One thing's for sure - we're gonna have ourselves a bald billionaire.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': ''[As Mr. McMahon head is being shaved by Donald Trump and Bobby Lashley]'' And King, one of the mys— The great mysteries of life has just been discovered: It was Mr. McMahon's real hair all along. And he just lost it.

==[[w:WrestleMania XXIV|WrestleMania XXIV (2008)]]==
:'''Jim Ross''': Welcome to WrestleMania XXIV!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|Mike Adamle}}''': Joining me right now, 16-time World Heavyweight Champion, the &quot;Nature Boy&quot; Ric Flair. Ric...
:'''&quot;Nature Boy&quot; Ric Flair''': WHOOO!
:'''Adamle''': Ric, tonight it could all come to an end. A career-threatening match on the biggest stage in sports-entertainment against the guy they call &quot;Mr. WrestleMania&quot;, Shawn Michaels. With so much to lose, with a 35-year career perhaps on the line, what's your game plan?
:'''Ric Flair''': My game plan? To be the MAN... WHOOO!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''&quot;The Heartbreak Kid&quot; Shawn Michaels''':  ''[to Ric Flair before hitting Sweet Chin Music on him, ending the match and sending Flair into retirement]'' I'm sorry. I love you.
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler:''' Flair wants to fight... Oh!  
:'''Jim Ross:''' My God, what a shot! Michaels, will it be...? And yes! Yes!  
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|Todd Grisham}}''': Edge, a lot of history could happen tonight at WrestleMania.
:'''Edge''': You know, Todd, we saw a career end. We've seen history made tonight already, but more importantly, we'll see history made later on tonight. But I want to set a stage for you. I want to take you back, because I've been thinking back a lot lately, back to when I was a little kid. Back to when I was sitting in the audience at WrestleMania VI. Man, I was so excited. I was watching my hero, Hulk Hogan. I was the biggest Hulkamaniac in Canada. And that day...Hulk Hogan lost. That wasn't the only thing lost that day. See, my innocence was also lost. But it's okay because it's come full circle, it really has. No, people rely on the Undertaker to win at WrestleMania. No matter how pathetic, mundane, or lousy their lives are, they can always count on the Dead Man. But that all changes tonight, it really does. Tonight, they get slapped in the face with a cold, hard dose of reality. There's probably a little kid sitting in that crowd tonight, just like me all those years ago, that believes anything in this world can happen...even 16-0. Tonight...I crush that kid's spirit! I pluck his innocence when I defeat the Undertaker and walk out of WrestleMania the ''true'' phenom and still the World Heavyweight Champion.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jonathan Coachman''': We have a new World Champion, Michael, and the Streak is intact!
:'''Michael Cole''': 16-0 at WrestleMania! The Undertaker's legend grows! The Deadman has risen! The immortal Undertaker's fabled streak continues at WrestleMania!

=={{w|WrestleMania 25}} (2009)==
:'''Jim Ross''': ''[on Punk winning Money in the Bank for the second time.]'' {{w|CM Punk}} has done it two years in a row.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Twenty-five Divas... you know... I guess there are more important things in the world than Divas, but ... what are they?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|John Layfield|John &quot;Bradshaw&quot; Layfield}}''': ''[as he makes his way to the ring]'' Thank you Texas! This is the greatest day in JBL's great life. Months ago, I had a ''WrestleMania'' vision, that just as Julius Caesar returned to Rome the conquering hero, I would return to Texas... ''[raises the Intercontinental Championship belt]'' ...champion. At a time when, quite frankly Texas, you've got no champions... Texas, you've got no men. You sit around, you drink your little lattes, you do your pilates, looking through the ''[[w:Houston Chronicle|Houston Chronicle]]'' trying to find a job... at this point in life you need hope, and along comes your hero, JBL! Tonight, I'm going to give you the treat of someone that grew up in Sweetwater, Texas, John Layfield and became the great JBL. You yourself will probably never improve your lot in life, but at least you can look at me and be proud of the fact that I'm your hero, because today I will give you the most dominant victory in WrestleMania history! I will then hop back on my charter plane, return to the greatest city in the world to my famous wife, New York City, as still... your hero.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': ''[after Mysterio defeated JBL in 21 seconds]'' I don't understand that. JBL promised something historic here tonight.
:'''Michael Cole''': Well, it was something historic.
:'''Jerry''': What?
:'''Michael''': Mysterio wins the Intercontinental Title for the very first time.
:'''Jerry''': No, that can't be it.
:'''Jim''': And now JBL just might understand how the brave Texans felt at the Alamo. It was a bad day at the office.
:'''Michael''': Mysterio ensured the joke was on JBL here tonight. What a WrestleMania moment.
:'''Jerry''': I'm in shock.
:'''Michael''': So's JBL.
:''[JBL grabs the microphone and gets up, not sure now of what to say]''
:'''JBL''': I've got something to say. ''[The crowd's boos get louder]''
:'''Jerry''': I can't wait to hear this excuse. Camera flash got in his eyes, maybe?
:'''Jim''': Open-mouth disease?
:'''Jerry''': This has got to be embarrassing.
:'''JBL''': I...I...I...  I QUIT!!! ''[crowd cheers]''
:'''Jerry''': What?...What did he just say?
:''[JBL drops the mic, still looking a bit confused]''
:'''Jim''': He said he quit!
:'''Jerry''': What? I don't believe - I don't know if JBL even believes what he just said!
:'''Michael''': Has any...has anybody ever...just quit, at WrestleMania?
:'''Jerry''': That I know of!
:'''Jim''': Pretty historic.
:'''Jerry''' ''[as JBL exits the ring]'': There's still time to reconsider!
:'''Jim''': Are we seeing JBL leave the ring, conclusively, for the last time?
:''[JBL starts walking back up the ramp]''
:'''JBL''' ''[pointing to the crowd]'': You're gonna miss JBL! You are gonna MISS JBL!!
:'''Jerry''': I think he's not gonna - he's not gonna reconsider; if that's the case, he - he HAS made history here tonight, but certainly not the kind that we expected!
:'''Michael''': Not that he expected, either!
:'''JBL''' ''[still shouting to the crowd]'': ...I promise you, you will regret this!!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': ''[about Undertaker slapping his leg]'' It wasn't for good luck, it was for circulation.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': ''[after Shawn Michaels kicks out of Undertaker's Tombstone]'' I just had an out of body experience!!! ''[the camera focuses on Undertaker's disbelief]'' The Undertaker's eyes tell a greater story than we could ever.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': ''[after Undertaker vs Shawn Michaels]'' This is what WrestleMania is all about.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': Indeed, sometimes it's hell getting to Heaven.
:'''Jim''': I feel like we've just seen heaven. What a match.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': The problem here is Edge and Cena are down and the Big Show is angry.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': ''[at Randy Orton's entrance]'' You know somehow, evil shouldn’t look that good. I mean this guy looks like he is chiseled out of stone and ready to do some serious damage.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': The referee is reinforcing the rules. He reminded Triple H that if he is disqualified or counted out, he loses the Championship.
:'''Jim''': Which means Randy Orton is the new WWE Champion, bottom line. 
:'''Michael''': Will it be Orton’s law or Triple H’s game for the WWE Championship?
:'''Jim''': Is Triple H really the cure for Randy Orton’s disease?
:'''Michael''': Triple H has said that cowardice is Randy Orton's disease.

=={{w|WrestleMania XXVI}} (2010)==

:'''Michael Cole''': He is the son of WWE Hall of Famer Cowboy Bob Orton. Eighteen months ago, Randy Orton formed Legacy — second and third-generation stars which had a winning pedigree, and win they did, including WWE Title reigns for Randy Orton. But, King, it's only natural as confidence grew for {{w|Ted DiBiase, Jr.|DiBiase}} and {{w|Cody Rhodes|Rhodes}} that they would want to fly away from the nest, as they are doing here tonight.
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Why is that only natural? Why not keep a cohesive successful unit together? I don't agree with what Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase have done.
:'''{{w|Matt Striker}}''': The WWE is about individual achievement, it's about leaving a legacy. The difference with Randy Orton is that this is his destiny and not his legacy.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': You guys see, does this remind you of anything?
:'''Michael''': It reminds me of what Randy Orton does to his opponents.
:'''Jerry''': Yeah, these guys are using what they learned from Randy Orton against him now.
:'''Matt''': As every good student should.
:'''Jerry''': Every good student should turn against their mentor?
:'''Matt''': No, every good student should use what they learned.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''CM Punk''': Over 70,000 weak-minded individuals who think, because they're so hopped up on hallucinogenic drugs, that Rey Mysterio is a superhero. Over 70,000 people that think if they pop a pill or if they take a drink, that somehow their problems will go away, just like they think their superhero, Rey Mysterio will make the monster go away. Except I am not a monster, I am a savior, and I can save Rey Mysterio! I can lead you all to a better place, and I will lead you all by example because I choose to be drug-free! I choose to be better than each and every single one of you! Tonight, Rey Mysterio does not have a choice. I will beat him, he will join my Straight Edge Society, and in doing so, 70,000 people just like you will choose me as their savior, and the Straight Edge Society will live on, one nation under Punk, indivisible, with integrity and sobriety for all.
:'''Jerry''': That's scary. That's scary.
:'''Michael''': I take it you're rooting for Rey.
:'''Jerry''': I don't wanna be in this guy's cult.
:'''Matt''': You see two members of the Straight Edge Society, there are countless others across the nation. Live events, wherever we go, people come to be saved by CM Punk.
:...
:'''Matt''': What would that do to Rey Mysterio? What would that do to Rey Mysterio's family?
:'''Jerry''': I don't know, but the names [[Jim Jones]] and [[Charles Manson]] come to mind.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Matt''': As the evening chases away the day, we say bring on the night!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''' ''[after Vince introduces his &quot;lumberjacks&quot;]'' Ladies and gentlemen, that is the {{w|Hart wrestling family|Hart family}}. You see {{w|Harry Smith (wrestler)|David Hart Smith}}, {{w|Natalya (wrestler)|Natalya}} walking in with the rest of the Hart family behind Mr. McMahon. You gotta be kidding me! Look at this!
:'''Matt''': This is the same Hart family we saw earlier at WrestleMania after honoring their father {{w|Stu Hart}}, who was inducted into the Hall of Fame. Has Vince bought the Hart family?!
:'''Michael''': This is disgusting!
:'''Jerry''': I just can't help but think back, last we heard from Vince McMahon last week on ''Raw'' when he...his final chilling words, he said, &quot;Bret, no matter what, at WrestleMania, you're screwed.&quot; Did he already know?
:'''Michael''': Will Mr. McMahon stop at nothing to humiliate this man? Ladies and gentlemen, Bret Hart was one of Mr. McMahon's most important and lucrative superstars. In late 1997, Bret's contract was coming to an end, they couldn't reach an agreement, Bret headed out of the company. What does Mr. McMahon do on one of his last nights here? He {{w|Montreal Screwjob|screws Bret Hart out of the Championship in Montreal}}, one of the most controversial events of all time!
:'''Matt''': Guys, I gotta tell you – this is genius. I love this.
:'''Jerry''': No, this is not genius.
:'''Matt''': Yeah, there's Bruce Hart.
:'''Michael''': It's ''evil'' genius is what it is, Matt.
:'''Matt''': Smith Hart, Stu's firstborn son.
:'''Michael''': In many ways, this is pathetic.
:'''Matt''': Why?
:'''Michael''': Because it's pathetic. Because Mr. McMahon cannot let bygones be bygones. For thirteen years this has been going on! Bret Hart came back here to bury the hatchet; he did so with Shawn Michaels, and now this.
:...
:'''Bret &quot;Hit Man&quot; Hart''': You've all agreed to this? Bruce, you've agreed to this? There's not much I can do about it. What's done is done. There's one thing I know about the Hart family – you all got paid up front, didn't you? Got your money, cashed your checks, put it in the bank? ''[Everyone nods]'' Well, there's one thing I learned from the Montreal Screwjob: that's that there's nothing sweeter than a good double-cross. See, the thing here, Vince, is the Hart family – we're stronger than ever and we're united as one tonight. They told me what you were trying to do and we all agreed ahead of time. We all know about your little tricks, but tonight, this your greatest creation of them all, WrestleMania, it's gonna be forever remembered as the night that Bret screwed Vince!
:'''Matt''': Wait a minute. Oh! The Hart family's on the take!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Matt''': ''[after Natalya slaps Vince]'' Best of luck in your future endeavors, Natalya!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Matt''': This is the chairman and CEO of a publicly traded company being treated like this.
:'''Michael''': Yeah, but how about how he treated Bret Hart? How about that, Matt? Besides, Mr. McMahon signed up for this. Mr. McMahon agreed to this match-up.
:'''Matt''': Not under these conditions.
:'''Michael''': He tried to buy the Hart family off, they just turned the tables on him. Mr. McMahon would've done the same thing.
:'''Jerry''': Before that, Matt, Mr. McMahon put Bret up to ''being'' in this match when he thought Bret had a broken leg.
:'''Matt''': If I've learned one thing from Mr. McMahon, it's that you never do bad business, and this is bad business by the Harts.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': Mr. McMahon looks like a pathetic preacher right now.
:'''Matt''': I'm gonna tell him you said that.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''{{w|Vickie Guerrero}}''': ''[to Kelly Kelly]'' EXCUSE ME!!!! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!
:''[Kelly kicks her in the stomach]''
:'''Michael''': I don't think Kelly Kelly cares.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': ''[after Shawn Michaels mocks the Undertaker's signal for the Tombstone Piledriver, he slaps him]'' Well, if Shawn Michaels is going out, he's going out as defiant as ever.
:'''Jerry''': ''[in his anger, the Undertaker picks up Michaels and turns him upside down]'' That look of disbelief on the face of the Undertaker has turned into a look of rage! ''[Undertaker hits the Tombstone]'' ACK!
:'''Michael''': TOMBSTONE! TOMBSTONE! ''[Undertaker folds Michaels's arms and covers him]'' Here's the cover! ''[Charles Robinson counts three]'' The Undertaker is 18-0! Shawn Michaels's career is over.
:'''Justin Roberts''': The winner of this match: The Undertaker!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''The Undertaker''': ''[After helping Shawn Michaels up on his feet]'' You're one tough son of a bitch. ''[Shakes Shawn's hand and embraces/hugs him]''

=={{w|WrestleMania XXVII}} (2011)==
:'''The Rock''': Finally, the Rock has come back to Atlanta! And finally, the Rock has come back to WrestleMania! The Rock promises that this will be the most memorable WrestleMania of all time. The electricity is in the air! It's all around us! Can you FEEL it? Can you TASTE it?! Can you SMELL it?!? ''[The crowd reacts to every sentence he says. When he is done, the crowd chants &quot;Rocky&quot;.]'' We are making history - ''right now'' we're making history, so we're gonna do something special. Atlanta, we're gonna have some fun. ''[the crowd reacts]'' When the Rock says &quot;Wrestle&quot;, the people will say &quot;Mania&quot;. Wrestle...
:'''Crowd''': ''[responding]'' Mania...
:'''The Rock''': Wrestle...
:'''Crowd''': Mania...
:'''The Rock''': Wrestle...
:'''Crowd''': Mania!
:'''The Rock''': And to all the WWE Super... the Rock is getting goosebumps, Good Lord almighty! And to all the WWE Superstars, past and present, and to one WWE Superstar in particular, ''[referring to John Cena]'' who right now is in the back trying to decide which rainbow Fruity Pebble T-Shirt he's going to put on tonight... ''[The Rock signals for some water. Again the crowd chants &quot;Rocky&quot;.]'' Oh, this is gonna get good, this is gonna get good. Before we do this next one, let the Rock take a drink of water. But this ain't ''any'' water. This is the ''People's'' Water! ''[The crowd reacts.]'' When the Rock says &quot;Yabba&quot;, the people say &quot;Dabba&quot;. Yabba...
:'''Crowd''': Dabba...
:'''The Rock''': Yabba...
:'''Crowd''': Dabba...
:'''The Rock''': Yabba...
:'''Crowd''': Dabba!
:'''The Rock''': And this last one, this last one needs no introduction whatsoever. It's the Rock, the People's Champ. He's never alone. He's with the millions...
:'''Crowd''': AND MILLIONS!
:'''The Rock''': He's with the millions...
:'''Crowd''': AND MILLIONS!
:'''The Rock''': ...of the Rock's fans, because this ''is'' Wrestlemania, this ''is'' the Showcase of the Immortals, and this ''is'' hosted by the jabroni beatin', lalalalao! Pie eatin', trail blazin', eyebrow raisin', heart stopping, elbow dropping, electrifying the dirty south, so know your role and shut your mouth, the Brahma Bull, ever defiant, standing as tall as Andre the Giant. This night, WrestleMania, Atlanta, the Georgia Dome, is bigger than Christmas, so no offense, Santa, because The Rock is bringing it all over At-lanta! ''[The crowd again chants &quot;Rocky&quot;]'' If you s... ''[stops]'' Oh no no no no no NO!  No... that catchphrase is the most famous, the most electrifying catchphrase in the world! Men, women, children of all ages, races - they say it. So this is going to be special, because that catchphrase doesn't belong to the Rock, that catchphrase belongs to the people. So, Atlanta, we're gonna do something special, we're gonna electrify the ''world''! ''Everybody'', everybody on your feet! You're already ''on'' your feet! So everybody, right now feel the electricity! Assume the position with the Rock, 'cause we're not saying it, we're saying it loud and proud and we're saying it together. ''[the crowd joins in]'' IF YOU SMELLLLLL-LALALALAO, WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN'!
 
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael Cole''': Look at this man, CM Punk. He is a charismatic figure. The people follow him, and he has one thing to get him through, and that thing is faith.
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': He's got about as many followers as you've got Cole Miners.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': Can I have your attention please? Can I have your attention please? There he is, &quot;Good ol' JR&quot;, Jim Ross, the man with the second-biggest ego in sports-entertainment. Hey, JR, I like how you're waddling your way down to the ring. Glad you're staying in shape since I took your job. You know who the man is with the biggest ego in the entire world? None other than my opponent tonight, Jerry Lawler. You know, Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross have a lot in common — they're both overweight,...
:'''Crowd''': What?!
:'''Michael''': ''[cont'd]'' They're both overrated,...
:'''Crowd''': What?!
:'''Michael''': and they're both over the hill! You know, I've been thinking a lot over the past 24 hours about...about this match here tonight, and what I've been thinking about is Jerry Lawler has been in this business about as long as I've been alive, yet tonight is Jerry Lawler's first WrestleMania. And guess what, all you Cole Miners — this is ''Michael Cole's'' first WrestleMania. So, ladies and gentlemen, when tonight is over, and this main event is concluded, JR, you're gonna go back to making really bad barbecue sauce; Jerry Lawler, you're gonna be embarrassed and humiliated; and Stone Cold Steve Austin's gonna raise my hand in victory; and then all of you, all over the world, you are gonna proclaim me the new Mr. WrestleMania!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': Undertaker will absolutely do anything to keep that streak alive, but J.R., you and I both know...nothing lasts forever.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim''': And somehow, some way, the Streak lives!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': When you're as pretty as {{w|Michelle McCool}}, you don't like to be dropped flat on your face.
:'''Jim Ross''': When you're as ugly as ''I'' am, you don't like to be dropped flat on your face.
:'''Jerry''': If anything happened to ''your'' face, it'd be an improvement.
:'''Jim''': Exactly.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''The Rock''': ''[after the WWE Championship match ends in a double count-out]'' Can I have your attention please? I've just received an e-mail from the anonymous ''Raw'' General Manager. ''[He opens the laptop and begins reading from it a la Michael Cole]'' And I quote: &quot;As ''Raw'' General Manager, I think...&quot; IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK! ''[He tosses the laptop to the floor and enters the ring]'' The Rock is the host of WrestleMania, and the Rock says there is no way WrestleMania is over! The Rock says this match must restart right now! No disqualification, no count-out, no time limit, no doubt about it, no cryin' to your mama, no way on God's green earth under God's hot sun in this beautiful Georgia Dome will this match end like that! So you can take your double count-out, take your little computer, take your awesome, take your Fruity Pebbles, roll them all up in a ball, turn them sumbitches sideways, and stick 'em straight up your candy-ass! It is time to give the people what they want!

=={{w|WrestleMania XXVIII}} (2012)==

:'''Crowd''': ''[chant during the Divas match]'' DANIEL BRYAN!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Matt Striker''': We are now just moments away. As the guest referee inside Hell in a Cell, you must be filled with conflicted emotions. Shawn, your thoughts?
:'''&quot;The Heartbreak Kid&quot; Shawn Michaels''': This match is the end of an era. Something's coming to an end. It's either the end of the Streak, which means the end of the Undertaker, or it's the end of the Game, which means he couldn't do what I couldn't do. Facing the Undertaker ended my career. Isn't it ironic that I hold the power in the palm of my hand to end an era?

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[During the epic Hell in a Cell match, Shawn Michaels tosses away the steel chair from Triple H who administered 15 chair shots to the Undertaker]''
:'''Triple H''' : [To referee Shawn Michaels] YOU WANT IT DONE? THEN YOU END IT!
:'''Shawn Michaels''': JUST COVER HIM!...It doesn't have to be like this, just co⁠— YOU ''KNOW'' HE'S NOT GONNA QUIT!...COVER HIM! 
:''[Shawn sees Triple H grabbing another chair and stops him]''
:'''Shawn Michaels''': C'mon, just hold! [goes to check The Undertaker] Take, it's one match, c'mon.
:''[Undertaker shakes his heads in defiance]''
:'''Shawn Michaels''': Let me—
:''[Triple H shoves Shawn away and administers three more chair shots to The Undertaker]''
:'''Triple H''' : [To referee Shawn Michaels] YOU WANT IT DONE? THEN YOU END IT!...END IT, OR I WILL!
:'''Shawn Michaels''': [goes to check The Undertaker again] Please, c'mon.
:'''The Undertaker''': [To Shawn Michaels] Don't stop it. ''Don't'' stop it!...DO NOT...STOP IT!
:'''Triple H''' : [yelling to Undertaker from a distance] STAY DOWN!...STAY DOWN!!
:''[Later  in the match, Triple H grabs a Sledgehammer from outside the ring, but Shawn Michaels confronts him]''
:'''Shawn Michaels''': You know he ain't gonna quit.
:'''Triple H''': I don't care. You end it or I will. You wanna show compassion? I'm not.
:'''Shawn''': You know he's not gonna stop.
:'''Triple H''': I don't care, Shawn. I'm ending this one way or the other... End it, or I will.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Later in the match, both Undertaker and Triple barely stands up as Taker goes to scoop up Triple H over the shoulder]''

:'''Jim Ross''': [''referring to Triple H''] The Game makes his way up!
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': Ohhhh no!
:''[Triple H counters by sliding back and pushes the Undertaker into the turnbuckle]''
:'''Jim''': He slips off the back—
:''[Undertaker runs into Shawn Michaels's Sweet Chin Music to the jaw, which staggers The Undertaker]''
:'''Jim''': BOOM!
:''[Triple H kicks Undertaker in the gut and underhooks both of his arms]''
:'''Jim''': SWEET CHIN MUSIC! SWEET CHIN MUSIC!
:'''Michael Cole''': [''overlapping''] LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT THIS!
:''[Triple H executes his finishing move, The Pedrigree, on the Undertaker]''
:'''Jim''': SWEET CHIN MUSIC—! 
:'''Michael''': [''overlapping''] PEDIGREE!
:'''Jim''': [''overlapping''] PEDIGREE! A PEDIGREE!
:''[Shawn Michaels runs in to make the count.]''
:'''Michael''': STREAK'S OVER! STREAK'S OVER!
:''[Shawn Michaels counts as the crowd chants &quot;1...2...&quot;]''
:'''Jim''': ANOTHER COUNT! HE GOT IT—!
:''[Undertaker raises his left shoulder up]''
:'''Michael''': OH—!
:''[Shawn Michaels collapses by the turnbuckle in disbelief as he covers his own face over what he just done]''
:'''Jim''': OH, HE HAVEN'T GOT IT! IT'S NOT OVER! IT'S NOT OVER! THE STREAK LIVES! AND MICHAELS— OH, HE'S—
:'''Michael''': Shawn Michaels have been calling this matchup down the middle! He was gonna ring the bell and take Taker out of it! And then he was put in the Hell's Gate!
:'''Jim''': Michaels had put into a very tough position for Mr. WrestleMania to be in!
:''[Instant replay is shown at the previous moment]''
:'''Michael''': His emotions overwhelming him!
:'''Jim''': Here's this kick, right there! Bam! Downtown! A slobberknocker! The Sweet Chin Music! And then The Pedrigree! 
:'''Jerry''': And somehow, amazingly, The Undertaker ''still'' lives— look at this!
:'''Jim''': The Undertaker will not die! On April 1st, 2012, he ''will'' not die!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jim Ross''': I tell you, in four decades of sitting at ringside, I can honestly say I have never ''ever'' witnessed anything like what we have just seen.
:'''Michael Cole''': The Undertaker is 20-0 at WrestleMania!
:'''Jim''': ''[as the Undertaker tries to get up]'' Look at the Undertaker's back; he's just fighting to get back up. The era has ended, we will never see it again, and what a way to go.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[As Undertaker, Triple H and Shawn hug at the top of the ramp]''
:'''Jim''': A standing ovation from 78,363, and a moment that will live in infamy in WWE, an image that we can never replicate, an image that we'll all remember forever.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''John Cena''': We got people behind the scoreboard!

==[[w:WrestleMania 29|WrestleMania 29]] (2013)==

:'''John &quot;Bradshaw&quot; Layfield''': ''[on {{w|The Shield (professional wrestling)|the Shield}}]'' I've wrestled with the Fabulous Freebirds. What they brought to the house, what they brought to this business was improved by the Horsemen, was perfected, some say, by the nWo. This team right here can do something none of them have ever done at WrestleMania.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': It was pretty impressive. I'm not gonna say they're the greatest thing since sliced bread, I don't know that they're the greatest team in sports-entertainment.
:'''JBL''': I don't know if you can name anybody better. Do you believe in the Shield now? If not, you should.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael Cole''': Well, statistics are on the side of Team Hell No in this match tonight. 53% of defending champions are successful in WrestleMania. And {{w|Daniel Bryan}} will start things off against {{w|Dolph Ziggler}} with the Tag Team Championship up for grabs here tonight at WrestleMania.
:'''JBL''': Would you bet on that, if you had a 53-47 chance.
:'''Michael''': Not at all.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Dolph Ziggler''': I got this! I got this! ''[to {{w|AJ Lee}}]'' Lay it on me.
:''[AJ plants a kiss on Dolph]''
:'''Michael''': Oh, now this is just sticking it to Daniel Bryan. Remember last year at WrestleMania, and AJ Lee good-luck kissed... ''[As Dolph turns around, Daniel kicks him upside the head and goes for the pin]'' Oh God, look out! Daniel Bryan...
:'''JBL''': It's over! It's over!
:''[Referee counts, but Dolph kicks out]''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Crowd''': ''[during the World Heavyweight Championship match]'' WE WANT ZIGGLER!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Half of crowd''': ''[alternating]'' UNDERTAKER!
:'''Other half''': CM PUNK!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': Can you say 21-0?!
:'''JBL''': MetLife just exploded!
:'''{{w|Justin Roberts}}''': The winner of this match: The Undertaker!
:'''Michael''': Year after year after year, opponent after opponent after opponent, the will and the perseverance for the most incredible performer in WrestleMania history! The Undertaker is now 21-0 at WrestleMania!
:'''JBL''': It's the holy grail of winning streaks, Michael! The greatest streak alive!

==[[w:WrestleMania XXX|WrestleMania XXX]] (2014)==

:'''John &quot;Bradshaw&quot; Layfield''': Look at this, that is insulting, Daniel Bryan sticking his hand out like that, mocking Triple H. What a disrespectful move.
:'''Jerry &quot;The King&quot; Lawler''': JBL, how short is your memory? Have you drinking milk from forgetful cows? Milk of amnesia? Let me tell you something. You realize the last time Daniel Bryan stuck his hand out, Triple H put handcuffs on him.
:'''JBL''': He should've, he broke the law.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': WrestleMania has just turned into YES!leMania!
:'''Michael Cole''': The YES! Movement has beaten the Authority!
:'''JBL''': History has already been made at WrestleMania! I cannot believe what I have just witnessed. This garden creature just beat the Game.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jerry''': Wrestling the Shield's like being married to Larry King—you know it's gonna be painful, but it's not gonna last long.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': {{w|Kofi Kingston}} ''[by {{w|Antonio Cesaro|Cesaro}}]'' ...lobbed over the top rope and he's out. ''[The referees notice that Kofi's feet are still on the steps]'' Wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa!
:'''JBL''': You gotta be kidding me!
:'''Jerry''': His feet didn't hit the floor.
:'''Michael''': Kofi's feet did not hit the floor. ''[Kofi scoots onto the steps and re-enters the ring]'' That is incredible! That is incredible!
:'''JBL''': I love this young guy!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': Uppercut by Cesaro again. ''[Cesaro picks up the Big Show]'' LOOK AT THE POWER!
:'''JBL''': No way!
:'''Michael''': YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! ''[Cesaro dumps the Big Show out of the ring, winning the match]'' CESARO WINS THE BATTLE ROYAL!
:'''Jerry''': OH MY GOD!
:'''JBL''': The Swiss Superman!
:'''Lilian Garcia''': The winner of the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal: Cesaro!
:'''Michael''': Cesaro has his WrestleMania Moment.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': John, would a victory tonight for {{w|Brock Lesnar}} be the greatest conquer of his career?
:'''JBL''': Absolutely. 3-time WWE Champion; IWGP Champion; his third UFC fight, he won the Heavyweight Championship; in his fourth UFC fight, UFC 100, he unified the Heavyweight Championship, National Champion 2000; 2008 ''Sports Illustrated'' Newcomer of the Year; all of that pales in comparison if Brock Lesnar ends the Streak tonight.
:'''Jerry''': You know what else would be worse than awful if Brock Lesnar ends the Streak? It would probably submit that walrus Paul Heyman's legacy as possibly the greatest strategist, possibly the best manager ever.
:'''JBL''': I disagree. Right now, he is arguably the greatest manager. I say you take off any of those caveats, he becomes the greatest manager of all time if he leads the Beast Incarnate, Brock Lesnar, to victory tonight.
:'''Jerry''': That's what I was saying. The big word is &quot;if&quot;.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': ''[about Undertaker]'' You’re looking at the most incredible performer in WrestleMania history. The only question now is: Is Brock Lesnar intimidated?

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[During the Undertaker/Brock Lesnar match]''
:'''Paul Heyman''': ''[to Brock Lesnar]'' This is your destiny. You hear me?! THIS is YOUR destiny! This is what you worked for! This is what you trained for! This is your moment! Not his, yours! ALL YOURS! 21-1...and you are the one! Are you going to let him deprive you of this?! He's taking this away from you! You are Brock Lesnar! You're a conqueror! You're a beast!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Brock Lesnar has kicked out of the Tombstone Piledriver]''
:'''Michael''': Undertaker signals it's over.
:'''JBL''': Maybe he's not human.
:''[Undertaker picks up Lesnar for another Tombstone]''
:'''Michael''': Again...''[Lesnar falls back onto his feet and picks up Undertaker]'' Brock Lesnar counter. Brock Lesnar counter! Lesnar counter! He's got Undertaker over his shoulders again!
:'''Jerry''': Not again!
:'''Michael''': Going for a triple! ''[Lesnar hits the F-5]'' A third F-5 on the Undertaker! Brock Lesnar into the cover! Hooks the leg! ''[Chad Patton counts to three]'' The Streak is over.
:'''Heyman''': OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! YOU DID IT! YOU DID IT! ''[With the arena in shock, Heyman rushes to Lesnar]'' You did it! You did it! You did it! You beat him, Brock! You conquered the Streak! Brock, you did it! You did it!
:'''Justin Roberts''': ''[a little bit shocked, just like everyone else in the arena or stadium]'' Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match: Brock Lesnar.
:''[Lesnar and Heyman leave the ring]''
:'''Jerry''': I'm speechless.
:'''JBL''': So are 75,000 people here.
:'''Michael''': The Undertaker's mortal.
:'''JBL''': I was hoping I wouldn't see it.
:'''Michael''': I honestly thought I'd never see it.
:'''JBL''': I guess fairytales do end.
:'''Michael''': Brock Lesnar just cemented his legacy as one of the greatest performers in WWE history.
:'''Heyman''': 21-1!
:'''Jerry''': Guys, you still gotta admit, the man who has cemented his legacy is the Undertaker. The longest-running streak, 21 straight victories at WrestleMania. That will never, never ever be duplicated.
:'''JBL''': The king of the jungle is now Brock Lesnar, and the greatest manager of all time is Paul Heyman.
:'''Jerry''': Heyman vowed that he and Brock Lesnar would end the Streak. They did.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael''': Daniel Bryan...knee to {{w|Dave Batista|Batista}}! Knee to Batista! Knee to Batista! ''[Daniel cinches the YES! Lock on Batista]'' Come on, Bryan! Come on, Bryan! YES! Lock! Come on, Daniel! Come on, Daniel! 
:'''Jerry''': Has he got him?
:'''Michael ''': Tap out Batista! 
:'''Jerry''': He's got him!
:'''Michael''': Tap out Batista! Tap out Batista!
:'''JBL''': No way! No way!
:'''Michael''': Batista's gonna tap! Batista's gonna tap! ''[Batista taps out]'' 
:'''Jerry''': OH, YES! 
:'''JBL''': He taps!
:'''Michael''': HE DID IT! HE DID IT! DANIEL BRYAN DID IT!
:'''JBL''': You gotta be kidding me!
:'''Michael''': THE MIRACLE KID! THE MIRACLE KID! A MIRACLE ON [[w:Bourbon Street|BOURBON STREET]]!
:'''Justin''': The winner of this match as a result of a submission...and NEW WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Daniel Bryan!
:'''Michael''': The impossible dream has become reality! Did anyone expect this?
:'''Jerry''': Absolutely not! They hoped for it!
:'''Michael''': Did everyone ''want'' this?!
:'''Jerry''': YES! YES! YES!
:'''JBL''': Daniel Bryan has overcome the Authority.
:'''Michael''': There's your new face of WWE! Daniel Bryan has done it!
:'''JBL''': Dreams come true.
:'''Jerry''': ''[continues to chant as pyrotechnics explode on the stage]'' YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!
:'''Michael''': April 6, 2014—the night Daniel Bryan's arrived!

=={{w|WrestleMania 31}} (2015)==

:''[The WrestleMania 31 introduction]''
:'''L.L. Cool J''': The world has become a lot smaller. We've all been connected. From the dawn of the radio, to the golden age of television. From Silicon Valley to the internet and beyond. A shared photo, a viral video, a thought for the whole world to read in the span of 140 characters, entertainment has evolved. The mediums have changed. But the one thing that has remained the same. The one constant. The one universal similarity...is us. Me. You. Us here. The human connection. The feeling you get when you're surrounding by a sea of strangers, but somehow you feel like you know them all. It's that instant you realize you have something in common. That moment, that emotion, that split second when you say, man that was awesome. Decades ago, the world saw the irrestible force meet the immovable object, and millions overcame the impossible as one. We saw a boyhood dream become reality, and together, we cried tears of joy. We saw the passing of the torch, as one generation christened the next, and that generation created a once in a lifetime event. All these things, these indoubtable moments, these benchmarks that shape our history at the core do one thing...they connect us. Tonight, these men, these women, these athletes, these larger than life superstars, will take the biggest stage in live entertainment, to once again inspire us, move us, shape us. They will..connect us. Tonight, the world will be watching. This is WrestleMania.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''[[Arnold Schwarzenegger]]''': [introduces Triple H before his match between him and Sting] WrestleMania. Judgment Day is here. It's time to play the Game.
 
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[After [[Ronda Rousey]] aids The Rock in laying out both Triple H and Stephanie McMahon in the ring]''
:'''The Rock''': Now that right there, that is called being owned!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Brock Lesnar''': ''[to Roman Reigns]'' Suplex City, bitch!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jerry “The King” Lawler''': It’s him! He’s returned!
:'''Michael Cole''': The Deadman cometh. Bray Wyatt can talk a big game, but John, you have been in the ring during the entrance of that man, The Undertaker. 
:'''John &quot;Bradshaw&quot; Layfield''': Bray Wyatt wanted to dance with the Devil, welcome to Hell.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Michael''': ''[as Bray Wyatt does his spider crawl/walk to Undertaker]'' That, indeed, is the New Face of Fear.
''[The Undertaker suddenly sits up, shocking/surprising everybody! It also makes Wyatt stop in his tracks]''
:'''John &quot;Bradshaw&quot; Layfield''': Not yet! Not just yet!
:'''Jerry''': Whoa, what a WrestleMania moment! Look at that!
:'''Michael''': And Bray Wyatt melting away as he’s looking into the eyes of the Deadman!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Michael''': ''[as Lesnar holds Reigns up for a fourth F-5]'' Lesnar... ''[Lesnar hits it and rolls away]'' F-5! A vicious F-5! Who can capitalize?
:'''Jerry''': Heyman's screaming, &quot;cover him, cover him!&quot;
:'''Michael''': Turning point of the match!
:''[Seth Rollins's music blares out and the crowd reacts]''
:'''JBL''': What the hell?
:'''Michael''': What on earth?
:''[Seth Rollins sprints to the ring, his Money in the Bank briefcase (containing a contract to wrestle for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship) in hand]''
:'''JBL''': This is brilliant! 
:'''Michael''': Seth Rollins!
:'''JBL''': This is brilliant!
:'''Michael''': Mr. Money in the Bank! ''[Seth slides into the ring]'' What the hell? ''[Rollins hands the briefcase to referee Mike Chioda, and tells Chioda he is cashing in his contract immediately]''
:'''JBL''': He...
:'''Michael''': Are you kidding me?!
:'''Jerry''': How can he do this?!
:'''Michael''': I have no idea!
:'''Mike Chioda''': ''[signalling to ring announcer Lilian Garcia]'' C'mere!
:'''Seth Rollins''': COME ON! C'MON, C'MON, C'MON!
:'''Chioda''': ''[to Lilian, handing the briefcase over]'' Seth Rollins is cashing in.
:'''Michael''': I mean, this ''is'' Money in the Bank, but... I mean, ''wait'' a minute!
:'''Lilian Garcia''': Ladies and gentlemen, Seth Rollins is cashing in his Money in the Bank. 
:'''Michael''': B-b-but, there's a match going!
:'''Lilian''': Therefore, this will now be a triple threat match!
:'''Michael''': A triple threat match?!
:'''Jerry''': What?!
:'''Michael''': ''[as Seth kicks Roman out of the ring]'' What the hell? ''[The bell rings]'' Rollins knocks Reigns out of the ring! Seth Rollins now turns his attention to Lesnar!
:'''JBL''': Seth Rollins is one Curb Stomp away from being the WWE World Heavyweight Champion!
:'''Michael''': Rollins going for the Curb Stomp...
:'''JBL''': Here it is! ''[Rollins hits the Curb Stomp on Lesnar]''
:'''Jerry''': WHOA!
:'''Michael''': Curb Stomp to Lesnar!
:'''JBL''': The future is now!
:'''Michael''': Seth Rollins... ''[Rollins looks back to see Reigns is still down, then turns back to Lesnar]'' checking on Reigns!
:'''JBL''': Seth is gonna finish him. Taking no chances here at all. ''[Rollins goes for another Curb Stomp, but Lesnar catches him to set up an F-5]''
:'''Michael''': Went for another Curb Stomp, Lesnar...Lesnar picked him out of the air. ''[Lesnar turns around, only to catch a Spear from Reigns]'' Reigns with a Spear! 
:'''Jerry''': OH!
:'''Michael''': A ripping Spear! ''[Seth hits the Curb Stomp on Reigns and goes for the pin]'' Curb Stomp on Reigns! 
:'''Jerry''': Look out!
:'''Michael''': Cover by Rollins! ''[Chioda counts to three]'' ROLLINS WON THE TITLE! ROLLINS WON THE TITLE!
:'''Jerry''': Wait a minute!
:'''Michael''': SETH ROLLINS WINS THE TITLE!
:'''Jerry''': Are you kidding me?!
:'''Lilian''': Here is your winner and the NEW WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Seth Rollins! ''[Rollins runs out of the ring and up the ramp]''
:'''JBL''': First time in WrestleMania history, someone's cashed in Money in the Bank and walking out WWE World Heavyweight Champion! He stole one!
:'''Michael''': Seth Rollins... Seth Rollins... Rollins with the heist of the century!
:'''JBL''': Brilliant! Brilliant!
:'''Michael''': Seth Rollins is the WWE World Heavyweight Champion!
:'''Jerry''': I cannot believe my eyes! The unthinkable has happened!
:'''Michael''': And he never pinned the champ. He never pinned the champ! Triple threat rules! ''[Off the replay]'' Spear to Lesnar, Curb Stomp, Rollins capitalizing! Ingenious! Ingenious!
:'''JBL''': Absolutely brilliant! That is the Architect! That man built the Shield, that man tore down the Shield, and today at WrestleMania, he is the WWE World Heavyweight Champion! The future is now!
:'''Jerry''': Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar beat the holy hell out of each other, and this opportunist comes in and literally steals the World Heavyweight Championship!

=={{w|WrestleMania 32}} (2016)==

:'''Kevin Owens''': ''[to Sami Zayn]'' Who do you think you are?! This is KOMania, go back to NXT!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Audience member''': ''[after Dean Ambrose nails Brock Lesnar with a laptop]'' I hope you're backed up.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Michael Cole''': For the 14th time in his career, The Undertaker enters (or steps) inside (or into) HIS yard. Hell in a Cell.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Stephanie McMahon''': ''[introducing Triple H]'' Rise in the presence of the Authority &amp; show your respect. You are merely the blind sheep who follow. You exist to serve us. We are the providers and the protectors. We are the leaders, the chiefs, and the generals. We are the absolute power. WE OWN YOU! You are mere shells of humanity hanging onto the empty notion of hope - hope for a savior. Hope that someone or something will take away the pain. That is your pathetic lives. Well, hope gets pulverized at the hands of reality and tonight will be no different because after tonight, all hope will be gone! Because there can be only one who stands in this - the coliseum of the immortals as the Undisputed champion. Only one who takes the breath of his opponents with barbaric fortitude. Only one who wears the sharpened crown. Now bow down and grovel at his feet. He is the King. The King of Kings. The Cerebral Assassin. The Game - TRIPLE H!!!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Michael''': ''[Triple H signals to a downed Stephanie McMahon, who hands Triple H a sledgehammer]'' Oh my God, Stephanie... Stephanie's handed... handed Triple H his signature sledgehammer! Again, if Triple H is disqualified, he will retain the championship! He'll lose the match officially, but it won't matter to him!
:'''John &quot;Bradshaw&quot; Layfield''': Referee has seen it. ''[The referee admonishes Triple H]'' If Triple H uses it, he gets disqualified, but you're right! He walks out of here WWE Champion. ''[Triple H shoves the referee aside]''
:'''Michael''': That could've been a disqualification - ''[suddenly, Reigns strikes Triple H with the Superman Punch]'' oh, SUPERMAN PUNCH! ''[Triple H, reeling, slowly gets up, only to be met by another Superman Punch]'' Another one by Reigns! ''[Reigns howls and bounces off the ropes, as Triple H reaches his feet. He attempts to hit Reigns with the butt of the sledgehammer, but Reigns ducks, avoiding the blow]'' Missed with the sledgehammer! ''[Reigns hits the Spear]'' SPEAR! SPEAR BY REIGNS! Cover; hooks the leg! ''[The referee counts three]'' REIGNS IS THE CHAMPION! REIGNS IS THE WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!
:'''Lilian Garcia''': Here is your winner, and the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion, Roman Reigns!
:'''Michael''': It is the renaissance of the Roman Empire! And it's left the Authority in shambles!

=={{w|WrestleMania 33}} (2017)==
:'''Big E''': Ladies and gentlemen, as your WrestleMania hosts, we must inform you that we have just received word... ''[the audience reacts]'' ...that this ladder match has now become a Fatal Four-Way!
:'''Xavier Woods''': Which means that there is one more team involved in this match.
:'''Kofi Kingston''': Now... I wonder who this fourth team... could possibly be.
:'''Audience''': WHO? WHO? WHO?
:''[The New Day slowly begin to step toward the ring when, all of a sudden, another team's familiar music plays. The New Day abruptly step back as...]''
:'''Corey Graves''': WHAT?!
:'''Michael Cole''': OH MY!
:'''Byron Saxton''': You gotta be kidding me!
:''[The Hardy Boyz enter the arena]''
:'''Michael''': Things are about to be broken! Team Xtreme is back! {{W|Matt Hardy|Matt}} and {{W|Jeff Hardy|Jeff}}! {{W|The Hardy Boyz}} are here!
:'''Byron''': I got goosebumps!
:'''Michael''': You’ve gotta be kidding me!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
''[After John Cena and Nikki Bella defeat The Miz &amp; Maryse in a Mixed Tag Team Match]''
:'''John Cena''': This... this is what you wanted over a year ago. You broke your neck and you did everything you could to come back, because you wanted a WrestleMania moment. I'm so very proud of you, but I can remember right before you were ready to go into surgery, I told you there'd be a time where you'd be a little bit loopy and I could ask you anything I wanted. And you would give me an honest answer and you wouldn't remember what we talked about. And for a year and a half, not a week went by where you asked me continuously: &quot;Well, what happened? What happened?&quot; And I promised I would tell you when the time was right. The time is right. Right as they were wheeling you into the O.R., you were glassy, and in and out, and in my last chance - at the very last second - I said &quot;Stop.&quot; And I leaned in and I whispered, &quot;Can you hear me?&quot; And you said, &quot;Yes.&quot; And I said, &quot;Well, I only have one question.&quot; You said, &quot;What is it?&quot; And I said, &quot;Do you know one day I'm gonna marry you?&quot; ''[The crowd in Orlando erupts in cheers]'' And you said, &quot;Yes.&quot; ''[sighs, knowing full well the magnitude of what he's about to do, and then continues:]'' I just need you to say &quot;Yes&quot; one more time. ''[The crowd erupts again as Cena pulls out a Tiffany Engagement Ring and gets down on one knee. He breaks character and [[w:Shoot (professional wrestling)|shoots]] the following:]'' I have been waiting so long to ask you this: Stephanie Nicole Garcia-Colace... ''[offers the ring to Bella]'' ...will you marry me? ''[Nikki Bella nods &quot;yes&quot;; and both she and Cena embrace in a long hug]''
''
&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
:'''Jim Ross''': ''[as Roman Reigns bounces off the ropes]'' Oh, look out. Look out here. M-momentum... momentum -
:'''Michael''':  ''[Reigns Spears the Undertaker]'' OH MAN!
:'''John &quot;Bradshaw&quot; Layfield''': OH GOD!
:'''Jim''': And a huge Spear ''[Reigns covers the Undertaker]'' into the heart of the Undertaker, ''[the referee counts three]'' and Roman Reigns has defeated the Undertaker at WrestleMania with a thunderous Spear!
:'''JoJo''': Here is your winner: Roman Reigns!
:'''Jim''': My God, what a physical matchup!
:'''Michael''': I believe, the greatest win of Roman Reigns's career.
:'''JBL''': It is the greatest win of Roman Reigns's career 20 years from now, 100 years from now! He just defeated the Undertaker, who... the Undertaker emptied everything in his arsenal; maybe everything in his soul.

=={{w|WrestleMania 34}} (2018)==

:'''Corey Graves''': Through the flames of Viserion, [[Game of Thrones|winter is here]]! The Kingslayer, Seth Rollins, is ready for WrestleMania!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[After losing to Charlotte Flair, Asuka grabs a microphone]''
:'''Asuka''': Charlotte......was READY for Asuka! Congratulations! [They embrace in a hug]

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
''[As The Undertaker makes his way to the ring ominously, the crowd cheers in love and respect! Some even bow before him]''
:'''Crowd''': UNDERTAKER! UNDERTAKER! UNDERTAKER!
:'''Jonathan “The Coach” Coachman''': You know, John Cena...wished and asked for this. Leave it to Cena. And you know, guys, it was John Cena who brought The Undertaker back. Nobody else.
:'''Corey Graves''': The question though is which Undertaker did John Cena bring back. Was it last year’s Undertaker?
:'''Michael Cole''': And the point Corey was making earlier was that last year, we all thought it was done. We all thought it was all over and we would never see it again, but now, the Deadman is back...in a match that pits in my mind two of the greatest performers in WWE history. Perhaps of all time. The 16-time world champion John Cena...and The Undertaker! 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Aiden English''': Tonight, you can forget about your RKO's
:Will it be glorious? Pssh! Oh, no!
:Mahal will fall on the greatest stage of them all
:'Cause the Lion of Bulgaria, the Shakespeare of Song
:We've been fightin' for this stage for far too long
:And there's gonna be a new US Champ today
:Because ladies and gentlemen, today, WrestleMania is...
:'''Crowd''': RUSEV DAY!
:'''Aiden''': ''[drawing it out]'' Rusev Da-a-a-a-a-y-y-y-y!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[A float rides onto the stage]''
:'''Corey''': What the hell is this?
:'''Michael''': Corey, it's a Mardi Gras float.
:'''Coach''': What ''is'' this?
:'''Corey''': It's [[Empire Records|Rex Manning Day]], it's not Mardi Gras.

=={{w|WrestleMania 35}} (2019)==

:'''Paul Heyman''': Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong! If my client is not on last, then we're not hanging around here all night to wait! We're getting our business done, and we're getting on a jet to Las Vegas, where my client is ''ultimately'' appreciated! So let's get this nonsense over with; we’re doing it right here, right now! Ladies and gentlemen, introducing, at 265 pounds, the Rollins-stomping beast slayer slayer, the reigning, defending, undisputed Universal heavyweight champion, Brock Lesnar!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Having just kicked Daniel Bryan numerous times in the head, Kofi Kingston heads to a corner, and amid chants of &quot;New Day Rocks!&quot; waits for Bryan to slowly get up]''
:'''Byron Saxton''': Bryan is barely moving!
:'''Tom Phillips''': ''[After a while, Bryan finally gets to his feet, and Kingston makes his move]'' Kofi measuring the champion... ''[Kingston hits Trouble in Paradise on Bryan]'' TROUBLE IN PARADISE!
:'''Byron''': COVER HIM! ''[Kofi covers him, the referee counts and the audience counts along with him. At 3, the crowd erupts]''
:'''Tom''': ''[Big E and Xavier Woods, at ringside, rush to the ring to embrace Kofi as:]'' KOFI DID IT! KOFI DID IT! KOFI DID IT! KOFI IS CHAMPION!
:'''Greg Hamilton''': ''[As he says this, we cut back and forth between the New Day's celebration, the crowd reaction, and the reaction backstage where certain WWE Superstars have been watching the match]'' Here is your winner, and the NEW WWE Champion: Kofi Kingston!
:'''Byron''': 11 years! 11 LONG YEARS! Every hoop, every barricade, every hurdle! And finally, Kofi Kingston has DONE IT, MAN!
:'''Tom''': For everything this man has gone through... Kofi, it was WORTH IT!

== {{w|WrestleMania 38}} (2022)==

''[after Pat McAfee gets stunned by Stone Cold Steve Austin]''
:'''Byron Saxton''': I hate to say it! But DTA, Pat! Don't trust anybody!
:'''Michael Cole''': Especially the dirtiest son of a bitch to ever play the game!!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Michael Cole''': What an honor this is…to witness one of the greatest, maybe, ''the'' greatest of all time. The headline inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame: The Undertaker. Man, what a sight.

=={{w|WrestleMania 39}} (2023)==

:'''Michael Cole''': Tag! Sami's legal! Long time coming! ''[Sami delivers a Helluva Kick to Jey Uso]'' That had to feel oh so good! Helluva Kick! ''[Jey falls into Sami's arms. Sami pushes him back into the corner and gives a second Kick]'' And another!
:'''Corey Graves''': Here comes Jimmy.
:''[Kevin Owens Stuns Jimmy Uso out of the ring]''
:'''Michael''': Stunner! ''[Sami pushes Jey back into the corner and delivers one last Kick]'' Three's the one! Cover! ''[The referee counts to three]'' The Bloodline be damned!
:'''Mike Rome''': Here are your winners and the NEW Undisputed WWE Tag Team Champions: Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn!
:'''Michael''': An incredible outpouring of emotion! Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens win the WWE Tag Team Titles for the first time in their WWE careers!

=={{w|WrestleMania XL}} (2024)==

:'''The Rock''': ''[taunting a downed Cody Rhodes with his &quot;Mama Rhodes&quot; belt]'' Get up, boy! ''[Suddenly, a familiar bell tolls, and the crowd erupts as the lights go out. After a pause, the bell tolls again and the lights come back on, revealing the Undertaker standing in the ring behind an unknowing Rock]''
:'''Michael Cole''': '''HOLY CHRIST! THE DEADMAN COMETH!''' ''[The Rock turns around in shock to see the Undertaker. After a brief standoff, The Rock tries to attack, but the Undertaker grabs him by the throat and delivers a powerful Chokeslam]'' '''CHOKESLAM!!''' Undertaker's back at WrestleMania! ''[The bell tolls one more time, and the lights go off again. After another pause, the lights come back on, and the Undertaker is gone]''
{{line}}
''[Moments later, Roman Reigns attempts to spear Cody Rhodes, but instead gets kicked in the head]''
:'''Michael''': Cody caught him! ''[Rhodes sets Reigns up for the Cross Rhodes]'' Rhodes, middle of the ring! ''[Rhodes delivers Cross Rhodes, but instead of covering him, he holds on to Reigns]'' Cross Rhodes! Cody's not done yet! ''[Rhodes delivers a second Cross Rhodes]'' Cody with another Cross Rhodes! ''[Still Rhodes does not let go of Reigns]'' Is he gonna do it? Can he do it? Is this a Rhodes moment? 
:'''Paul Heyman''': NOOO! NOOOOO!
:'''Michael''': Come on, Cody! ''[Completely ignoring Heyman, Rhodes delivers a third Cross Rhodes]'' Cross Rhodes! Cover! ''[Rhodes covers Reigns and referee Charles Robinson counts three; Cole punctuates each count with the following]'' '''FINISHED... THE... STORY!''' ''[The crowd erupts thunderously]''
:'''Samantha Irvin''': ''[through tears]'' Here is your winner… and the NEW… Undisputed WWE Champion: &quot;The American Nightmare&quot; Cody Rhodes!
:'''Corey Graves''': Samantha Irvin, understandably, overcome with emotion.
:'''Pat McAfee''': We ALL are! We all are.
:'''Michael''': ''[The belt is handed to Rhodes as fans sing along to his music &quot;Kingdom&quot;; Cody's wife, Brandi, enters the ring and gives him a congratulatory kiss]'' For the first time ever, a Rhodes can call himself WWE Champion! Damn it, Cody Rhodes finished the damn story!
{{line}}
:'''Michael''': ''[moments later, as certain of Cody Rhodes' friends enter the ring to celebrate his win]'' Cody Rhodes has finally done what he set out to do.  I've known this young man since he was a little boy.  [[w:WWE Hall of Fame (2007)|I saw him at a Hall of Fame speech]] where I knew that he was gonna be a star.  He had &quot;star&quot; written all over him.  I went through Internet shows with him; I had a damn Tag Team Championship match with him.  He left here disgruntled, heartbroken, to go create his own story.  And Cody Rhodes came back here as a Superstar.  Cody Rhodes came back here and did something that his father, one of the greatest of all time, &quot;The American Dream&quot; Dusty Rhodes, could never accomplish.  Cody Rhodes came back here and won the WWE Championship.  Damn it, I love professional wrestling.
{{line}}
:'''Cody Rhodes''': ''[moments later]'' Real quick. I know it's been a long night... I am... I am surrounded by greatness in this ring. I am surrounded by greatness in this stadium. There are two people I would not have been here. I would've literally never made it back to the WWE without one of them, I want him to come out here, and that's Bruce Prichard. And then the other, the other is pleading and kicking and doesn't want to come out here, but we have started a brand new era. He is the leader of that era, please, Triple H, come on down!

==External links==
{{wikipedia|WrestleMania}}

[[Category:WWE TV shows]]
[[Category:WWE]]</text>
      <sha1>kp0kmjmr7az8eskdz6179tvgqgmp3g8</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 6)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>102637</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943954</id>
      <parentid>3936565</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T14:21:35Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>TheNewKindAdaptableKayak</username>
        <id>3101673</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943954</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="18718" sha1="bn4k0ycotk6c3olf81d9m7u5pj0uksp" xml:space="preserve">{{DISPLAYTITLE:''Aqua Teen Hunger Force'' (Season 6)}}
{{Aqua Teen Hunger Force header}}
'''''[[w:Aqua Teen Hunger Force|Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]''''' (also known by various [[w:Aqua Teen Hunger Force#Alternative titles|alternative titles]]) (2000–15) is an [[w:animated series|animated television series]] from the [[w:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]]'s [[w:Adult Swim|Adult Swim]] programming block.  The show follows the exploits of three [[w:anthropomorphic|anthropomorphic]] fast food items: [[w:Master Shake|Master Shake]], the milkshake; [[w:Frylock|Frylock]], the carton of French fries; and [[w:Meatwad|Meatwad]], the meatball.

===Shake Like Me===
:'''Meatwad''': Well I was told that they was going to get a trampoline. You know, maybe I was just projecting my desires onto them.
:'''Master Shake''': I jump on a tramp every night. That's how I roll. The juice just keeps on flowing. Who is writing this down? This is gold.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Master Shake''': Means depth for flips and twist. It means this pools poorly contructied. At Bast!
:'''Meatwad''': I wanna trampoline.
:'''Master Shake''': Ya heard him?! The boy's want your trampoline!
:'''Meatwad''': And I want a [[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]] bounce house, and a donalds hiccups with real llamas. Not the stuffed llamas you win at the ring toss at the fair, but--but I want a fair too. Have them have a fair.
:'''Master Shake''': So you're gonna hop to it? Or will I have to beat you down in front of the child?
:''[As Master Shake bleeds while the worker bites him in the shoulder]''
:'''Master Shake''':(as the worker bites him) AAAAHH! What are you, a Vampire?! ''(Continues screaming)'' Why didn't I get that tetanus shot?!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:''(At Carl's swimming pool after Master Shake became Mocha Shakah)''
:'''Frylock''': Go on. Swim.
:'''Mocha Shakah''': No.
:'''Frylock''': ''(to Meatwad)'' You're right, he's black.
:'''Mocha Shakah''': Aww, DAMN!!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:''(outside the house with the spinning rims)''
:'''Mocha Shakah''': I put a spell on them hoes ya'll! I'm hell on them hoes yo.
:'''Meatwad''': What hoes?
:'''Mocha Shakah''': Just...hoes in general. You know...fly honeys...that I would hit...with my genitals.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:''(Mocha Shakah reverts back into Master Shake)''
:'''Master Shake''': Dammit! I can't freestyle anymore!
:'''Frylock''': 'Cause I created a blaccine. And I injected it into your orange soda when you weren't looking.
:'''Boxy Brown''': Aw, man! The hell you say! Mocha Shakah don't listen to the lies!
:'''Frylock''': Oh, really? Shake, what's the boss up to nowadays?
:'''Master Shake''': Springsteen? Man I love the E Street Band! You know he's doin an album with Pete Seeger? All acoustic. OH, GOD, NOOO!!
:'''Frylock''': YES!
:'''Master Shake''': Hey what did the Dow do today? DAMN IT!
:'''Frylock''': Down over 60 points.
:'''Master Shake:''' My 401K! ''(kicks over Boxy Brown while running off)'' When do [[The Simpsons|the Simpsons]] come on?!
&lt;hr width+50%/&gt;

===She Creature===
:'''Master Shake''': Cut him down!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Terry''': Hold on there, tough guy. ''(Terry and Dante approach the pool with a dead body rolled up in a carpet)''
:'''Carl''': Oh, hey! Terry... I thought we were conducting this, uh, &quot;conference call&quot; tomorrow morning?
:'''Dante''': Boss says he wants it done now.
:'''Terry''': Or he'll take your OTHER nut.
:'''Carl''': Hahaha!  Listen to this guy, bustin' my balls.  Balls.  I got two... We gotta talk about this publicly!
:'''Dante''': You know, maybe you oughtta think about that the next time you bet 20G's for the Jets to cover.
:'''Carl''': Well, you told me the inside dope was that the other team had the flesh-eating virus...
:'''Terry''': You gettin' smart with me? ''(Holds a pistol in Carl's face)'' Huh? Smart guy!
:'''Dante''': Wanna trip down a flight of stairs, huh?  Have an accident in your pathetic life?
:'''Terry''': You're pathetic.  Say it.
:'''Carl''': I-I'm worth nothing in your eyes, sir.
:'''Terry''': I knew that. Now get your monster up here to take care of this trash.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Carl''': Say, before you guys go, who do you like in the AC Beach Invitational?
:'''Dante''': AC Beach?
:'''Carl''': Women's billiards.  You guys do book on that, right?
:'''Terry''': JESUS, you're a fuckin' loser! ''(Looks at Frylock suspended above pool)'' Hey, scuba guy - you ain't seen nothing, you aint heard nothing.
:'''Carl''': See, Fryman, let that be a lesson to you.  If you see someone racketeering, you let it go - they're diggin' your own grave.
:'''Frylock''': Look, Carl, I know it's none of my business, but gambling is a dangerous addiction.
:'''Carl''': All I need is one run, and I'm back!  You follow women's billiards?  Wait, I got an idea.  How much money you got?
:'''Frylock''': No, Carl.
:'''Carl''': It's a proven system!
:'''Frylock''': No.
:'''Carl''': You're throwing money away!
:'''Frylock''': Nuh-uh.
:'''Carl''': Yeah-uh! Fine! Stay a sucker!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Carl''': What did you do to my pool?!
:'''Frylock''': We cleaned it. Now it's gonna be ready for the bitches we got comin over this summer.
:'''Meatwad''': Frylock!
:'''Frylock''': Sorry, I meant to say hoes.
:'''Meatwad''': There we go.
:'''Frylock''': Sorry.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:[''The mobsters return to Carl's house at night, this time carrying a heavy body wrapped in a plastic bag'']
:'''Terry''': Ugh! Fuckin' sumo wrestlers. When I say take a dive, you take a fuckin' DIVE, you fat fuck!
:[''Terry and Dante throw the body into Carl's now-clean pool'']
:'''Dante''': I don't think he understood English.
:'''Terry''': Well, he's about to be sushi, so blow the fuckin' horn.
:[''Dante blows the shellfish horn, but nothing happens.'']
:'''Terry''': What the fuck is this... the water looks clear! Hey, where's that big fuckin' fish?
:'''Frylock''': You rang?
:[''Frylock fires his eye lasers and hits the gangsters, knocking them unconscious'']

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Carl''': Take your eye lasers, and cut their heads off!
:'''Frylock''': Carl, they have your number. They know where you live, and you still owe them money. Hell, they'll send someone else! That's why it's called a MOB!
:'''Carl''': Oh, yeah. Good point.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:''(The Aqua Teens witness Carl explode and release several eggs after the mermaid disappeared into his penis and implanted her eggs in him)''
:'''Frylock''': Oh, damn it! I slept with her ass, too. ''(Frylock explodes the same way)''
:'''Meatwad''': Oh, Shakey, I told her I was saving myself for marriage and that it would screw up our friendship, but she got me drunk on red wine and... well...
:'''Master Shake''': What are you trying to say? ''(Meatwad explodes as well)'' AH! Well, just for the record- ''(Proudly)'' I did her, TWICE! All over my jock! ''(Shake awaits to explode, however he shows to have lied and rejected by her as he doesn't explode)'' I cannot believe I haven't exploded yet.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Frylock is planting a row of trees to block the view of Carl's pool]''
:'''Master Shake''': What the hell are you planting?! This a rental! You don't get your money back! Plus, I'm just gonna chop those down! (Pause) I may, if you don't turn your back on me!

===Chick Magnet===
:'''Meatwad''': [''looking at a large crate''] What in the hell is—
:'''Master Shake''': [''smashes Meatwad''] Mine is what it is! You don't touch it or look at it…but if you would be so kind as to plug it in, please?
:'''Meatwad''': Okey-dokey, Smoky.
:'''Master Shake''': Are you getting smart with me?
:'''Meatwad''': No.
:'''Master Shake''': You better watch your mouth or that mouth will come off!
:'''Meatwad''': Okey-dokey, Smoke- um, artichoke-y.
:'''Master Shake''': Now, that's better, 'cause vegetables are the core of the universe.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:[''in the dance club; &quot;I like your booty, but I'm Not gay&quot; from ATHF the movie is playing; Master Shake enters'']
:'''Master Shake''': How's it going? Anybody see an outlet?! I know they're getting electricity 'cause, uh, frequently these lights they run on it! [''chuckles''] Yeah, I'm an engineer. You know I have electricity back at my pad. And! I got the mad cash to PAY for it, too! I'm into sex! [''leaves angrily''] MY PLACE IS THE SAUSAGE FACTORY!!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:[''the fight between Frylock and Master Shake close to the end of the episode'']
:'''Frylock''': Well, fuck you too!
:'''Master Shake''': No! Fuck you! Bastard!
:[''Meatwad is seen outside moving the [[women|Chick]] Magnet'']
:'''Frylock''': No, 'cause it's 'fuck you' time!
:'''Master Shake''': You got a problem with it! You say it TO MY DAMN FACE!
:'''Frylock''': Oh, I said it to your face! A number of times!
:'''Master Shake''': Well, my face wasn't looking, and my ears weren't fucking listening!
:'''Frylock''': And your teeth are about to stop chewing, too! [''pause'']
:'''Master Shake''': And what's that mean, Big-Man?!
:'''Frylock''': [''punches Master Shake in the face''] It was an awkward attempt to tell you, that I'm about to kick the teeth out your head!
:'''Master Shake''': Well, I did not… I did not get that initially!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:[''the fight between Frylock and Master Shake during closing credits'']
:'''Frylock''': Oh, no, don't you walk away from me! Where you goin'?!
:'''Master Shake''': Well obviously I'm gonna tape up my hands... to not ruin my meal ticket WHEN I'M BEATING YOUR FACE SO HARD!!
:'''Frylock''': I used up the tape. I taped a present for ya. It's a knuckle sandwich!
:'''Master Shake''': Well. I'm not hungry!
:'''Frylock''': Well you wrap it up and eat later then!
:'''Master Shake''': You wanna step to me?! What are you, a wizard? Let's go!

===The Creature From Plaque Lagoon===
&lt;hr width+50%/&gt;
:'''Master Shake''': Tooth Fairy. Hand over all that change, bitch! (gets shot with a dart and passes out).
:'''Frylock''': Dumbass, ain't no toothfairy.
:'''Mysterious man''': What do you think you're doing?
:'''Frylock''': Whoa! Well I just-
:'''Mysterious man''': Drop that tooth and back over to the wall!
:'''Frylock''': Okay, okay, just take the TV, take the quarter, take whatever you need.
:'''Mysterious man''': Ha ha ha. Fools! I don't want your money! (takes Meatwad's tooth) I have this tooth; and it's all I need!

===Time Machine===

&lt;hr width+50%/&gt;
:''(to the tune of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Safety_Dance The Safety Dance])
:'''Shake''': You can fart if you want to! You can fart out of your behind! (farts) You can fart real cool and make your butts rule with the gas that's inside of you! You can fart (farts), you can fart (farts), everybody look at your butt! Fa-a-art!
:'''Meatwad''': It's a safety fart! Well, it's a safety fart!
:'''(Shake kicks Meatwad off screen)
:'''Frylock''' (sarcastically): That's real mature, Shake.
:'''Shake''': Thank you very much.

===2-And-a-Half-Star Wars Out Of Five===

&lt;hr width+50%/&gt;
:''(Frylock looks out and sees Drew mowing his lawn while listening to very loud Star Wars music.)''
:'''Frylock''': Hey! Shut that off! Hey!
:'''Drew''': Hey! How's it going?
:'''Frylock''': Shut that off! Will ya?
:'''Drew''': I said, how's it going?
:'''Frylock''': Hey, shut that fuckin' thing off! ''(swear censored out by farting sound.)''
:''(Drew shuts the lawnmower off.)''
:'''Frylock''': What the hell are you doing?
:'''Drew''': Your lawn. So that means I can crash in your house for an undetermined amount of time hmm?
:'''Frylock''': No!
:'''Drew''': Okay, but I did just mow your lawn.
:'''Frylock''': I didn't ask you to do that.
:'''Drew''': ''(waving his hand, attempting a Jedi mind trick)'' You let me stay in your house for as long as I choose. ''(nothing happens)''
:'''Frylock''': Will you stop that? No I won't. What... What are you doing?
:'''Drew''': Nothing look. Do you know anything about wiping the moon from the face of space at all.
:'''Frylock''': Get. The fuck. Off my lawn.
:'''Drew''': So where are you from?
:'''Frylock''': uh uh ain't about where I'M from, it's about where YOU'RE going!
:'''Drew''': Okay, fine. let's do a thousand for the lawn and say five thousand for edging.
:'''Frylock''': How 'bout 3 dollars for everything and I won't call the police?
:'''Drew''': 3 sounds good. For now. But tomorrow, I'll be back. To rake the mulch, and maybe I can just stay for the night.
:'''Frylock''': Look man, don't make me get my gun okay.
:'''Drew''': ''(attempting another Jedi mind trick.)'' You will not go get your gun. 
:''(Gun raised toward his head)''
:'''Drew''': ''(walking away)'' I'll just be over there. In the rain. If it rains. No pressure.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:''(Drew now mowing Carl's lawn, but getting hit by batteries)''
:'''Drew''': Hey! It's raining batteries!
:'''Carl''': Yeah! ''(throwing batteries)'' An alkaline front is pushing through. ''(continues to throw batteries)'' We're expecting a couple of inches of concussions on your head! Running out of batteries here. What are you doing?!
:'''Drew''': Your lawn. But I am out of gas so it's a little difficult. So where are you from?
:'''Carl''': Oh, we're not having a conversation.
:'''Drew''': Well I'm from Mos Eisley. Just like in the movie.
:'''Carl''': Yeah knock knock, who cares? I don't.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Drew''': Hey, quick question: Can you help me blow up the moon?
:'''Carl''': No, no, I can't. I'm more of an expert at, uh- EXPOSING the moon. ''(Chuckles, turns around and moons Drew, unaware that he is transforming into a werewolf)'' Get out your telescope! See if you'll find, uh, the one crater! ''(Continues chuckling, but stops and finally notices Drew's transformation)'' Wait a minute- No, no, no! It's cool! It's all cool here! NO! NO! ''(Drew leaps into Carl's window; blood is shown gushing out)''

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Meatwad''': You guys see what I saw? Well, I did. Carl showed that tall pink man his heinie, and he grew fangs and fur and claws, and they went inside and had a heated discussion.
:'''Frylock''': Yeah, we're not gonna get involved with that.
:'''Master Shake''': He is a werewolf, Fryman. He saw Carl's full moon and it changed him.
:'''Frylock''': Shake, they are no such things as werewolves.
:'''Master Shake''': I think I know someone who would beg to differ. And I think we both know who I'm talking about.
:'''Frylock''': Don't you say, Kate Beckinsale!
:'''Master Shake''': But she was in that movie!
:'''Frylock''': Fake! Fake! Fake!
:'''Master Shake''': You gonna sit here and tell me that the Lyken have not been waging war against the vampires for centuries?
:'''Frylock''': Hollywood, Shake!
:'''Master Shake''': You do know I own the cardboard cut-out?
:'''Frylock''': Yes.
:'''Master Shake''': That means I like this movie.
:'''Frylock''': I know!
:'''Master Shake''': Good. We've established that. Meeting adjourned.
:'''Meatwad''': So what we do now?
:'''Frylock''': We wait till you lost interest and forget about it.
:'''Meatwad''': Alrighty, then.
:''(24 hours pass. Frylock is asleep with Meatwad on top of him.)''
:'''Meatwad''': I ain't lost interest.
:'''Frylock''': You haven't slept either, Meatwad.
:'''Meatwad''': Well, neither has Shake.
:''(Shake on the phone)''
:'''Master Shake''': Are you or are you not Kate Beckinsale?! (voice-over phone talks) Well, describe your body. In leather. Well, I heard you had a winner hoe here!
:'''Meatwad''': Ask her if she has a port in her chest to drink fluids.
:'''Master Shake''': Do you have a port in your chest to drink fluids?
:'''Meatwad''': Like plasmas and such.
:'''Master Shake''': Yeah, like plasmas and such. (Hangs up.) Uh hello? Kate? I lost her. She must have gone through a tunnel. You know, cell reception is not good... in the underworld.
&lt;hr width+50%/&gt;

===Fry Legs===

:''(Meatwad is being questioned by the police about where &quot;his friend&quot; is)''
:'''Meatwad''': What friend? I ain't got no friends!
:''(One of the cops holds a sketch of Frylock up for Meatwad)'' Oh Frylock. Yeah, he's my friend.
:''(Meatwad points to mace on the officer's belt)''
:'''Meatwad''': Wait, is that deodorant?
:'''Master Shake''': Yes, it's deodorant. They get hot and sweaty chasin' robbers.
:'''Officer''': Yeah! Yeah, it's deodorant. Try some! (Maces Master Shake and Meatwad)
:'''Master Shake''':(He and Meatwad have red eyes) Ahh! That is not deodorant! Oh God!
:'''Meatwad''': Needs a little more pepper.


&lt;hr width+50%/&gt;

===Der Inflatable Fuhrer===
:'''Hitler''': (Pulls up with a mask in a balloon car) Ah, what a wonderful day for a balloon. here, let me place my suitcase full of money next to you and purchase one.
:'''Frylock''': They're free of charge sir.
:'''Hitler''': These are not happy and floaty like we discussed.
:'''Master Shake''': There exactly what you asked for, now if you will excuse us. (Shake and Frylock try to leave).
:'''Hitler''': No, I think the product needs to be tested. On your kosher friend! (Pulls out Meatwad with who is dressed like a rabi and is holding a menorah and a box of matzoh).
:'''Frylock''': Meatwad!
:'''Meatwad''': They took all my pork and they de-circumcised me and they gave me the cowboy hat! Mazeltoff, I'm dang jewish now. 
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Inflatable Hitler''': What about- Tom Hanks?
:'''Frylock''': Tom Hanks isn't Jewish.
:'''Inflatable Hitler''': So, he HATES the Jews!
:'''Frylock''': I can't speak for Tom Hanks, but he seems pretty likable. I doubt he flat-out HATES Jews.
:'''Master Shake''': So you see, not EVERY Jew is evil, right?
:'''Frylock''': Shake, that's not the message here.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Frylock''': NO!
:'''Master Shake''': I'm just saying... We get people off drugs! We don't kill Jews!

&lt;hr width+50%/&gt;

===[[w:Last Last One Forever and Ever|Last Last One Forever and Ever]]===
[[Category:Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]

:'''Carl''': Truly, they were.... an Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''(as the Aqua Teens drive away in the moving truck)
:'''Carl''': Your emergency brake is on!
:'''Master Shake''': Don't tell me how to drive, jackass!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

== External links ==	 
{{wikipedia|Aqua Teen Hunger Force (season 6)|Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 6)}}	 
* [http://video.adultswim.com/aqua-teen-hunger-force/ ''Aqua Teen Hunger Force''] at Adult Swim
* {{imdb title||Aqua Teen Hunger Force}}	 

[[Category:Aqua Teen Hunger Force seasons]]
[[Category:American animated television seasons]]

{| class=&quot;wikitable&quot; border=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;width:100%; text-align: center;&quot;
| width=&quot;30%&quot; | Preceded by&lt;br&gt;'''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 5)|Season 5]]'''
| width=&quot;30%&quot; | '''''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' [[w:List of Aqua Teen Hunger Force episodes|seasons]]'''
| width=&quot;30%&quot; | Succeeded by&lt;br&gt;'''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 7)|Season 7]]'''
|}
{{Adult Swim}}</text>
      <sha1>bn4k0ycotk6c3olf81d9m7u5pj0uksp</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>104864</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944117</id>
      <parentid>3928153</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T04:32:53Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-19301-69</username>
        <id>3305883</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* King Neptune */</comment>
      <origin>3944117</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="53614" sha1="lioehjgzci8e31u2711sz45lg3d9uom" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
{{SpongeBob header}}
'''''[[w:The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie|The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]]''''' is a 2005 [[w:live-action animation|live-action/animated film]] based on the [[w:Nickelodeon (TV channel)|Nickelodeon]] television series ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'', on November 19, 2005, originally planned as the show's series finale. The film's titular protagonist, as in the TV series, is SpongeBob SquarePants. He and his best friend Patrick Star embark on a journey to save King Neptune's crown and protect Bikini Bottom from the evil clutches of Sheldon J. Plankton.
[[File:The-spongebob-squarepants-movie-logo.png|thumb|Hero. Legend. Sponge]]
:''Directed and written by [[w:Stephen Hillenburg|Stephen Hillenburg]].''
{{center|'''Hero. Legend. Sponge.''' [[#Taglines|taglines]]}}

== &lt;span style=&quot;color:yellow;&quot;&gt;SpongeBob SquarePants&lt;/span&gt; ==
* Talk to me, Krabs.
* Get a hold of yourself, Eugene. I'm goin' in.
* Take it easy, friend. I'm the manager of this establishment. Everything's gonna be just fine.
* Come on, Phil. Stay with me. Let's hear about that family.
* Say cheese.
* Order up.
* Who is it gonna be, Gary? Heh, heh, heh. Well, let's ask my wall of 374 consecutive Employee of the Month awards. SpongeBob SquarePants!
* I'm ready, promotion!
* I just wanted to say I'll be thanking you in my managerial acceptance speech today.
* Aw, thanks, Patrick. And tonight, after my big promotion, we're gonna party till we're purple!
* Well, good luck with that.
* How many seconds was that?
* Patrick, look! Plankton's turning everyone we know into slaves.
* Plankton?
* Sorry to rain on your parade, Plankton.
* And you know? I've been through in a lot of the past six days, five minutes, twenty-seven, and a half seconds. And if I learned anything during that time, it's that you are who you are.
* Are you crazy? I was gonna tell that your fly is down. Manager! This is the greatest day of MY LIFE!!!

== &lt;span style=&quot;color:pink;&quot;&gt;Patrick Star&lt;/span&gt; ==
* That sounds like the manager for the new Krusty Krab 2! ''[He looks down to see that he has no clothes]'' Oops, hold on. Congratulations, buddy.
* Hooray for SpongeBob!!
* Hey, it’s the new Krusty Krab 2 Manager!
* I have to use the bathroom.
* Did you see my underwear?
* Step on us?

== &lt;span style=&quot;color:red;&quot;&gt;Mr. Krabs&lt;/span&gt; == 
* Ahoy! This is Eugene Krabs, leave a message. 
* Hello! I like money.
* You… did not… get… the job!
* Don't you just hate wrong numbers?

==Mrs. Puff==
* We paid $9 for this?

==Sandy Cheeks==
* I paid 10!

==King Neptune==
* I am the king! I must enforce the laws of the sea.
* MY CROWN! AAHHHHHHH!!!! SOMEONE HAS STOLEN MY ROYAL CROWN!
* MY CROWN IS IN THE FORBIDDEN SHELL CITY?!
* Prepare to burn, Krabs!
* Squire, will you hurry? AHHHHH!!!!!
* Where am I in, crazy town?!
* All Hail Plankton.

==Princess Mindy==
* I’M GONNA BE BALD?!
* Uhh… Dad? Your… Crown?
* Daddy, please. I think you're overreacting.
* Listen, you guys, the road to Shell City is really dangerous. There's crooks, killers and monsters everywhere! And what's worse, there's a giant Cyclops [imitates the Cyclops stomping] who guards the outskirts of the city and preys on innocent sea creatures! Don't let him catch you, because if he does, he'll take you back to his lair, and you'll never be seen again!
* Things have gotten a lot worse since you left Bikini Bottom. [Pulls out a magical clam, which opens up revealing Bikini Bottom now] Or should I say, Planktopolis?
* The fate of Bikini Bottom rests in your hands.
* You just gotta believe!
* Daddy, no!

==Plankton==
* I WILL RULE THE WORLD!
* Plan Z. I love Plan Z.
* ''[Laughter]'' Who can stop me now?! WHO?!?!
* No resting! This monument celebrating my glory isn’t just gonna build itself. MOVE FASTER!
* ''[Last words before his defeat]'' Come on, I was just kidding. Come on, you folks accidentally knew that, didn't you? With the helmets and the monuments. ''[laughs]'' Wasn't that hilarious, everybody? I will destroy all of you!

==Karen==
* Don't get worked up again, Plankton. I just mopped the floors.

==Squidward Tentacles==
* Get out!

== Others ==
Random

== Dialogue ==
:''[Seagulls flying across the sky. On a look-out post, a pirate looks through a telescope. He moves upward to get a better look at something. The screen shows the view in the telescope of another pirate on a dinghy with a treasure chest on it]''
:'''Pirate 1''': I got it! I got it! I got it!
:'''Pirate 2''': Dinghy ahoy. Dinghy off the port bow! Dinghy off the port bow!
:'''Pirate 3''': Dinghy off the port bow!
:'''Pirates''': ''[off-screen]'' Dinghy off the port bow!
:'''Pirate 4''': Captain, dinghy off the- ''[hit in the face by the door]''
:'''Captain Bart''': Dinghy.
:''[The captain, as he pushes through, signals to his friends to let the pirate in the dinghy onto the ship, along with the chest]''
:'''Pirate 1''': I got it! I got it.
:'''Captain Bart''': Where is it?
:'''Pirate 1''': It's right here, captain.
:''[They open the chest]''
:'''Captain Bart''': I never thought I'd see it with me own eye. Tickets to ''The SpongeBob Movie''!
:''[The pirates cheer]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''French Narrator''': Ah, the sea. So mysterious, so beautiful. So...uhh...wet. Our story begins in Bikini Bottom's popular undersea eatery, the Krusty Krab restaurant.
:'''Police''': Back up! Back up!
:'''French Narrator''': Hey, wait a minute. What is happening?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Please, settle down! We've got a situation in there. I'd rather not discuss 'til me manager gets here.
:'''Female Fish''': Look, there he is!
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Talk to me, Krabs.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, it started out as a simple order: a Krabby Patty with cheese.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': So, what was he wrong?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': When the customer took a bite, no cheese! ''[cries]'' 
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': ''[slaps Krabs' face]'' Get a hold of yourself, Eugene. I'm goin' in. Take it easy, my friend. I'm the manager of this establishment. Everything's gonna be just fine.
:'''Fish''': Who are you? I'm really scared here, man.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Do you got a name?
:'''Phil''': Phil.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Do you got a family, Phil? ''[Phil whimpers]'' Come on, Phil, stay with me. Let's hear about that family.
:'''Phil''': I got a wife and two beautiful children.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': That's what it's all about. I want you to do me a favor, Phil.
:'''Phil''': What?
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Bingo. Say cheese. Order up.
:'''Crowd''': Three cheers for the manager! Hip! Hip! ''[blows foghorn from their mouth]'' Hip! Hip! ''[does it again]'' Hip! Hip! ''[and again]''
:''[The scene changes to SpongeBob in his bedroom with his pet snail, Gary. SpongeBob turns off his alarm clock]''
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Hooray! Gary, I had that dream again. And it's finally gonna come true. Today, sorry about this, calendar. Because today is the grand-opening ceremony for The Krusty Krab 2, where Mr. Krabs will announce the new manager.
:'''Gary the Snail''': Meow.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Who's it gonna be, Gary? ''[chuckles]'' Well, let's ask my wall of 374 consecutive employee-of-the-month awards.
:'''SpongeBob &quot;Employee of the Month&quot; Awards''': SpongeBob SquarePants.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': I'm ready, promotion.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Squidward''': Ah! SpongeBob, what are you doing in here?!
:'''SpongeBob''': I have to tell you something, Squidward.
:'''Squidward''': Whatever it is, can't we wait until we get to work?!
:'''SpongeBob''': There's no shower at work.
:'''Squidward''': '''''What do you want?!'''''
:'''SpongeBob''': I just wanted to say I'll be thanking you in my managerial acceptance speech today.
:'''Squidward''': Get out!
:'''SpongeBob''': Okay, I'll see you at the ceremony.
:'''Patrick''': That sounds like the manager of the new Krusty Krab 2. Oops. Hold on. Congratulations, buddy.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Thanks, Patrick. And tonight, after my big promotion, we're gonna party 'till we're purple!
:'''Patrick''': I love bein' purple!     
:'''SpongeBob''': We're goin' to the place where all the action is.
:'''Patrick''': You don't mean?
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh, I mean.
:'''Both''': Goofy Goober's Ice Cream Party Boat!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
:'''Plankton''': ''[first words]'' Curses! It's not fair! Krabs is being interviewed by Perch Perkins, and I've never even had '''''one''''' CUSTOMER! ''[echoes]'' 
:'''Karen''': ''[first words]'' Don't get worked up again, Plankton, I just mopped the floors.
:'''Plankton''': Oh, Karen, my computer wife, if only I could have managed to steal the secret to Krabs' success, the formula for the Krabby Patty. Ohhh. Oh! Then people would line up to eat at my restaurant. Lord knows I've tried. I've exhausted every evil plan in my filing cabinet from A to Y.
:'''Karen''': A to Y?
:'''Plankton''': Yeah, A to Y. You know, the alphabet.
:'''Karen''': What about Z?
:'''Plankton''': Z?
:'''Karen''': Z. The letter after Y.
:'''Plankton''': W, X, Y. Plan Z! Here it is, just like you said!
:'''Karen''': ''[rolls her eyes]'' Oh, boy.
:'''Plankton''': Oh! Oh! Ohhh! It's evil. It's diabolical. ''[sniffs it]'' It's lemon-scented. This Plan Z can't '''POSSIBLY FAIL!''' So enjoy today, Mr. Krabs, because by tomorrow, I'll have the formula. Then everyone will eat at the Chum Bucket, '''''and I will rule the world!''''' All hail Plankton. '''''ALL HAIL PLANKT--!''''' ''[gets stepped on by SpongeBob]'' Ow!
:'''SpongeBob''': I'm ready, promotion! I'm ready, promotion!
:'''Plankton''': Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
:'''SpongeBob''': Eww, I think I stepped in something. ''[drags his foot on the ground while Plankton screams]''
:'''Plankton''': Not &quot;in something&quot;, -'''''&quot;on someone&quot;''''', you twit!
:'''SpongeBob''': Oh. Sorry, Plankton. Are you on your way to the grand opening ceremony?
:'''Plankton''': ''[mockingly]'' No, I mean, yes, I'm almost on my side over to the grand opening ceremony. I'm busy on planning to rule the world! Almost done! ''[laughs]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Well, good luck with that. I'm ready, promotion! I'm ready, promotion!
:'''Plankton''': Stupid kid.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mrs. Puff''': We paid $9 for '''''this'''''?
:'''Sandy Cheeks''': I paid 10.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
:'''Anchovy''': Dork? 
:'''Mr. Krabs''': No, wait, that's not correct. Not a dork.
:'''Pearl Krabs''': A goofball?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Closer, but no.
:'''Yellow-orange fish''': A ding-a-ling.
:'''Tom''': Wingnut.
:'''Mabel''': A knucklehead McSpazatron.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Okay, that's enough!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
:'''Plankton''': About another time to put Plan Z into effect. Starting at the undersea castle of King Neptune.
:''[A squire plays his trumpet as King Neptune and his daughter, Princess Mindy, sit down on their thrones. King Neptune bonks the squire's head with his trident]'' 
:'''Squire''': Oh, right. The royal court is now in session. Bring the prisoner forward. 
:'''King Neptune''': So, you have confessed to the crime of touching the king's crown? 
:'''Prisoner''': Yes, but- 
:'''King Neptune''': BUT ''WHAT?!''
:'''Prisoner''': But it's my job, your highness. I'm the royal crown polisher. 
:'''King Neptune''': Well then, I guess I can't execute you. 20 years in the dungeon, it is. 
:'''Princess Mindy''': Daddy! You're free to go. 
:'''Crown polisher''': Bless you, Princess Mindy. [He runs away.]  
:'''King Neptune''': Mindy, how dare you defy me?
:'''Princess Mindy''': Why do you need to be very mean?
:'''King Neptune''': I am the king. I must enforce for the laws of the sea.
:'''Princess Mindy''': Father, I wish you'd try a little love and compassion instead of these harsh punishments.
:'''Squire''': That would be nice. 
:'''King Neptune''': ''[bonks the squire with his trident again]'' Squire! Clear the room. I wish to speak to my daughter alone. [Everyone else leaves.] What's this, Mindy? 
:'''Princess Mindy''': Your crown?
:'''King Neptune''': And what does this crown do? 
:'''Princess Mindy''': Covers your bald spot. 
:'''King Neptune''': It's not bald, it's thinning. This crown does much more than cover a slightly receding hairline. No, this crown entitles the one who wears it to be in charge of the sea. One day, '''''you''''' will wear this crown. 
:'''Princess Mindy''': I'm gonna be bald? 
:'''King Neptune''': Thinning! Anyway, the point is, you won't wear it until you learn to rule with an iron fist, like your father.
:'''Princess Mindy''': Uh, Dad? Your &quot;crown&quot;?
:'''King Neptune''': What the? MY CROWN!!!! AHHHHHH! Someone has stolen the royal crown! 
:'''Plankton''': I got it! I got it! 


:'''SpongeBob''': Alright. Get it together, old boy. I know. I'll just stop thinking about it. Hey, you know, I actually feel a little better. I don't even remember why I was sad.
:'''Patrick''': Hey, it's the new Krusty Krab 2 manager.
:'''SpongeBob''': [screaming cry] Ahhhh-hahhh-hahhh-hahhh!
:'''Patrick''': Wow, the pressure's already setting in.
:'''SpongeBob''': No, Pat, you don't understand. I didn't get the promotion.
:'''Patrick''': What? Why?
:'''SpongeBob''': Mr. Krabs thinks I'm a kid.
:'''Patrick''': What?! That's insane!
:'''SpongeBob''': I know.
:'''Patrick''': Well, saying you're a kid, it's like saying I'm a kid. 
:'''Waiter''': Here's your Goober Meal, sir.
:'''Patrick''': I'm supposed to get a toy with this. Thanks.
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[sighs]'' I'm gonna head home, Pat. The celebration's off.
:'''Patrick''': Are you sure?
:'''SpongeBob''': Yeah. I'm not in a Goober mood.
:'''Patrick''': Okay, see ya.
:'''Waiter''': And here's your Triple Gooberberry Sunrise, sir.
:'''Patrick''': Yum.
:'''SpongeBob''': A Triple Gooberberry Sunrise, huh? I guess I could use one of those.
:'''SpongeBob''': Alright, folks. This one goes out to my best friends in the whole world: Patrick and this big peanut guy. It's a little ditty called...
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': Waiter! ''[they pass out]''
:'''SpongeBob''': My... ''[burp]'' friend? Patrick? Hey, what's up, buddy? Wait, you said eight o'clock. I'm late for work! Mr. Krabs is gonna be...Mr. Krabs.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
:'''Squidward''': $101 for a Krabby Patty? 
:'''Mr. Krabs''': With cheese, Mr. Squidward, with cheese.
:'''King Neptune''': ''[arriving and his squire blows his trumpet]'' Greetings, subjects. I seek the one known as Eugene Krabs. May he present himself to me at once. 
:'''Mr. Krabs''': I am Eugene Krabs, Your Highness. Would you like to order somethin'? 
:'''King Neptune''': NAY!!! I'm onto you, Krabs! You have stolen the royal crown, you cannot deny! For, clever as you are, you left one damning piece of evidence at the scene of the crime! ''[shows him a note]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': &quot;I stole your crown. Signed, EUGENE KRABS?!
:'''King Neptune''': Relinquish the royal crown to me AT ONCE!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': B-But, this is crazy! I didn't do it!
:'''Mr. Krabs on answering machine''': Ahoy! This is Eugene Krabs! Leave a message.
:'''Plankton''': ''[disguised voice, on the answering machine]'' Hi, this is Clay, the guy you sold Neptune's crown to? Yeah. I just wanted to say thanks again for sellin' me the crown. '''''Neptune's''''' crown. I sold it to a guy in Shell City and, uh, I just wanted to say thanks again for sellin' the crown. '''''Neptune's''''' crown. Which is now in Shell City. Goodbye.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': [chuckles nervously] Eh-heh-heh. Don't you just hate wrong numbers?
:'''King Neptune''': '''''MY CROWN IS IN THE FORBIDDEN SHELL CITY?!? WAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!''''' ''[Scene cuts to Plankton on the phone]''
:'''Plankton''': Plan Z, I love Plan Z.
:'''King Neptune''': '''''WAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!''''' Prepare to burn, Krabs! ''[lights his trident]''
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[sobs]'' Wait, Neptune! Please, I'm beggin' ya! I ain't a crook! Ask anyone, they'll vouch for me! 
:'''King Neptune''': Very well, then. ''[extinguishes his trident]'' Before I turn this conniving crustacean into fish-meal, who here has anything to say about Eugene Krabs? 
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[burps]'' I got something to say about Mr... ''[gulps]'' Krabs.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': SpongeBob, me boy, oh, you've come just in time. Please tell King Neptune all about me.
:'''SpongeBob''': I have worked for Mr. Krabs for... ''[burps]'' many years and always thought he was a great boss.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': You see? A great boss.
:'''SpongeBob''': (off-screen) I now realize that he's a great... big... jerk! ''[Mr. Krabs turns to SpongeBob]'' I deserved that manager's job! ''[grabs Mr. Krabs upsettingly]'' But you didn't give it to me, 'cause you say I'm a kid. Well, I am 100% man! And this... man... has got something to say to you. ''[takes a deep breath and blows a long raspberry]'' There, I think I've made my point. [Mr. Krabs' pupils turn to King Neptune]
:'''King Neptune''': Anyone else? No? Well, then. [fires at Mr. Krabs, causing him to burn his butt]
:'''SpongeBob''': ''[immediately snaps out of his cynical, drunken state]'' Huh?
:'''Mr. Krabs''': ''[flies around the restaurant with his butt burning]'' Ooh! Me pants are on fire! Me underwear's on fire! I'm on fire! ''[he dives into a bucket of water]'' Oh, yeah.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': I'm flattered you would do this on my account, but being manager isn't worth '''''killing''''' Mr. Krabs over. 
:'''King Neptune''': Quiet, fool! Mr. Krabs stole my crown, and now it's in Shell City. '''''That's''''' why he must die. 
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Doesn't it seem a little harsh to kill someone over a crown? 
:'''King Neptune''': You don't understand! My crown is a symbol of my king like authority. And, uh, between you and me, my hair is thinning a bit.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Oh, your highness, I'm sure it's not that notice... Baaaald! Bald! Bald! Bald! 
:'''Crowd''': Bald! Bald! Bald! Bald!
:'''Fred''': ''MY EYES!''
:'''King Neptune''':  Alright, alright.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Uh, King Neptune, sir? Would you spare Mr. Krabs' life if ''I'' went to get your crown back?
:'''King Neptune''': '''''YOU''''', go to Shell City?! ''[laughs ]'' No-one who's gone to Shell City has ever returned. What makes '''''you''''' think you could? You're just a kid.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
:'''King Neptune''': Very well, Mindy. I'll give him a chance. But when your little champion fails to return, I get to splatter this crab all over the walls!
:'''Mr. Krabs''': Huh? 
:'''King Neptune''': ''[to SpongeBob]'' And as for you, be back here with my crown in exactly ten days.
:'''Patrick Star''': ''[interrupting]'' He can do it in nine.
:'''King Neptune''': Eight.
:'''Patrick Star''': Seven.
:'''King Neptune''': Six.
:'''SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs''': Patrick! ''[they tackle him
:'''King Neptune''': Six it is, then.
:'''Patrick Star''': ''[Krabs strangles him]'' Five...!?
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Patrick, shush!
:'''King Neptune''': Until then, the crab shall remain frozen where he now stands.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': No, wait, I'm beggin' ya! ''[King Neptune freezes him]''
:'''Squidward Tentacles''': Who turned on the AC? Ah! Mr. Krabs! Oh, no, this is terrible! Who's gonna sign my paycheck?
:'''King Neptune''': Come along, Mindy.
:'''Princess Mindy''': ''[to SpongeBob and Patrick]'' Listen, you guys, the road to Shell City is really dangerous. There's crooks, killers, and monsters everywhere! And what's worse, there's a giant Cyclops who guards the outskirts of the city, and preys on innocent sea creatures! Don't let him catch you, because if he does, he'll take you back to his lair, and you'll never be seen again!
:'''Patrick Star''': She's pretty, SpongeBob.
:'''Princess Mindy''': Here, take this.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': What's in here? ''[opens the bag and wind blows into his face]''
:'''Princess Mindy''': It's a magical bag of winds. I stole them from my father.
:'''Patrick Star''': You're hot.
:'''Princess Mindy''': Once you find the crown, open the bag of winds, and you'll be blown back home.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
:'''Sheldon J. Plankton''': Ding-a-ling! Hey there, old buddy. Freeze! ''[laughs]'' No, no, don't trouble yourself. I'll get it. Well, I'd like to hang around, but I've got Krabby Patties to make... over at the Chum Bucket. Plan Z, I love ya! ''[laughs]'' 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
:''[SpongeBob and Patrick arrive at a gas station]'' 
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Fill 'er up, please. 
:'''Floyd''': What'll it be, fellas? Mustard or ketchup?
:''[Floyd and Lloyd slap their knees and laugh]'' 
:'''Patrick Star''': Are they laughin' at us? 
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': No, Patrick, they're laughing next to us. 
:'''Floyd''': Where are you two dumb kids headed, anyway?
:'''Patrick Star''': Kids?!
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Now, Patrick. For your information, we're not kids, we're men, and we're off to get King Neptune's crown in Shell City.
:'''Floyd and Lloyd''': '''''Shell City?'''''
:'''Lloyd''': Isn't that the place that's guarded by that killer Cyclops?
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': That's right.
:'''Floyd''': Lloyd, take off your hat in respect. Respect for the dead! ''[both slap their knees and laugh]'' 
:'''Lloyd''': You two ain't gon' last ten seconds over the county line.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Oh, yeah? We'll see about that.
:'''Thug''': Outta the car, fellas. 
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': How many seconds was that?
:'''Lloyd''': Twelve.
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': In your face! ''[slap their knees and laugh]''
:'''Patrick Star''': Who's the kid now? 
:'''Floyd''': They're dead.
  
&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
:'''Perch''': Excuse me, Plankton. Perch Perkins, Bikini Bottom news. Can I get a minute? 
:'''Sheldon J. Plankton''': Anything for you, Perch. 
:'''Perch''': All of Bikini Bottom wants to know, how did you get the Krabby Patty? 
:'''Sheldon J. Plankton''': Well, Perch, before my dear friend, Eugene Krabs. &quot;Sell the krabby patties in my absence at the Chum Bucket,&quot; he said. &quot;Don't let the flame die out!&quot; ''[fake sobs]'' By the way, act now, and you get a free Chum Bucket bucket helmet with every purchase. Here ya go, Perch. 
:'''Perch''': Thanks. 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
:'''Sheldon J. Plankton''': Evil Plan Z is way ahead of you, baby. I've already hired someone to take care of those two. '''''HE'S A VICIOUS, COLD-BLOODED PREDATOR!!!!!'''''
:''[Elsewhere, a green fish riding a motorcycle stops at the gas station and picks up a sesame seed]''
:'''Dennis''': Sesame seed.
:'''Floyd''': Hey, mister, does that hat take 10 gallons?
:''[Floyd and Lloyd smack their knees and laugh more. Dennis rips off their mouths]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Victor''': Hey! Who blew this bubble?! ''[pause; punches a bubble to pop it]'' You all know the rules!
:'''Thugs''': All bubble blowing babies will be beaten senseless by every able-bodied patron in the bar.
:'''Victor''': That's right! So, who blew it? ''[SpongeBob and Patrick quickly starts popping all the bubbles]'' So, nobody knows.
:'''Thug''': Maybe it was--
:'''Victor''': Shut up! ''[throws a chair at a thug]'' Somebody in here ain't a real man. ''[to SpongeBob and Patrick, who are sneaking out]'' You! We're on the baby hunt, and don't think we know how to weed them out. Now everybody line up! ''[the thugs starts lining up]'' DJ, time for the test. ''[DJ starts the &quot;Goofy Goober&quot; song]'' No baby can resist singing along to this.
:'''Patrick Star''': SpongeBob, it's a Goofy Goober theme song!
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': I know!
:'''Radio''': '' # Oh, I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah. - You're a Goofy Goober, yeah. - We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah. - Goofy, Goofy, Goober, Goobers, yeah! # ''
:''[As the song plays, Victor goes down the line examining the thugs to see if they sing along. One thug coughs.]''
:'''Victor''': IT WAS YOU! You're the baby!
:'''Thug''': No, no! I only coughed, I swear!
:'''Victor''': ''[gives the &quot;I'm watching you&quot; gesture]'' DJ, turn it up louder!
:''[The DJ turns up the volume; SpongeBob and Patrick begin sweating.]''
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Don't sing along, Patrick!!
:'''Patrick Star''': I'm trying! Trying...so...hard!
:'''Victor''': '' # I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah. - You're a Goofy Goober, yeah. - We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah. # ''
:''[SpongeBob and Patrick inhale]''
:'''Guys''': ''# Goofy, Goofy, Goober, Goobers, yeah! # ''
:'''Victor''': ''[laughs]'' Well, well, well. Which one of you babies was it?
:'''Guys''': It was him. Uh, he did it. I've never even eaten at... ''# Goofy, Goofy, Goober, Goobers, yeah! # ''
:'''Victor''': Well, looks like we got ourselves a double baby!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
:'''Squidward Tentacles''': So... you're selling Krabby Patties, eh, Plankton? 
:'''Sheldon J. Plankton''': That's right, Squidward. And there's a free bucket helmet with every purchase. Care for one? 
:'''Squidward Tentacles''': No! You may have hoodwinked everyone else in this backwater town, but you can't fool me. I listen to public radio!
:'''Sheldon J. Plankton''': What's that supposed to mean? 
:'''Squidward Tentacles''': It means you set up Mr. Krabs! '''''You''''' stole the crown, so Neptune would freeze him, and you could finally get your stubby, little paws on the Krabby Patty formula! It was you all along! But you've made one fatal mistake! You've messed with my paycheck. And I'm gonna report you to the highest authority in the land, King Neptune!
:'''Sheldon J. Plankton''': We'll see about that, inspector loose-lips! ''[pushes a button on Karen and laughs]'' 
:'''Karen Plankton''': Now activating helmet brain-control devices.
:'''Squidward Tentacles''': Huh? ''[A large signal tower flares to life on the roof of the Chum Bucket. An antenna rises out of each customer's bucket helmet, which completely covers every customer's head, one by one]'' What? ''[Soon, the lights dim and they all stand up, as they all speak in a drone.]''
:'''Slaves''': All hail Plankton.
:'''Squidward Tentacles''': ''[Eyes widened]'' What's goin' on here?
:'''Slaves''': All hail Plankton.
:'''Sheldon J. Plankton''': ''[points at Squidward]'' Seize him, slaves!
:'''Slaves''': All hail Plankton.
:'''Squidward Tentacles''': Ah! I'm gettin' out of here! ''[Runs for the door, but more slaves burst in and corner him]''
:'''Slaves''': All hail Plankton. All hail Plankton.
:''[Squidward, cornered, shrieks in terror as Plankton's slaves capture him]''
:'''Sheldon J. Plankton''': ''[laughs evilly]'' Who can stop me now? Who?!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt; 
:'''Patrick Star''': Hey, look, free ice cream!
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Oh, boy!
:'''Patrick Star''': ''[to a skull on the ground]'' How you doing? Wait a minute. Wait a minute! ''[notices skulls everywhere]'' SpongeBob!
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Yeah?
:'''Patrick Star''': ''[pause]'' Make mine a chocolate!
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': OK, gotcha covered.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': What kind of old lady are you!? Eww!
:''[A red monstrous frogfish reveals itself from the ground. SpongeBob screams in horror and bites off the old lady's left arm, falls down]''
:'''Patrick Star''': ''[catches SpongeBob in the Patty Wagon]'' Did you get the ice cream?
:''[The frogfish roars]''
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': STEP ON IT, PATRICK!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Elsewhere, Dennis stops at the Thug Tug. Stepping off his motorcycle, he sees soap on one of the footprints from SpongeBob's shoe. He lowers his bandana]''
:'''Dennis''': Hmm... ''[blows on the soap as a bubble forms]''
:''[An image of SpongeBob and Patrick laughing appear in it]''
:'''Victor''': Hey! You may not know it, cowboy, but we got a rule around here about blowin' bubbles. ''[snaps his fingers]''
:'''Thugs''': All bubble-blowing babies will be beaten senseless by… ''[Dennis punches Victor, causing him to fly into the air. Victor hollers as he flies into the Thug Tug as the other thugs watch]'' every... able-bodied… patron… in the… bar.
:''[Victor crashlands into the Thug Tug, which tilts back quickly and sinks off over a cliff. Dennis drives away on his motorcycle as the thugs watch him]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[SpongeBob and Patrick had lost their car for good near the trench]''
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Well, we lost our car again.
:'''Patrick Star''': Never mind the car, where's the road? ''[echoes]'' Road? Road? Road? ''[the echo turns out to be Patrick repeating in disbelief]'' Road, road, road, road ''[SpongeBob stares at him]'' r... sorry.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': There's the road. ''[the road is shown on the other side of the trench]'' On the other side of this ''[Looks down the trench in front of them]'' deep, dark... dangerous...
:'''Patrick Star''': ''[after seeing a fire]'' Hazardous.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Hazardous...
:'''Patrick Star''': ''[after seeing a tentacle and hearing a roar]'' Monster-infested?
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Yeah, monster-infested... ''[gulps]'' trench.
:'''Patrick Star''': Hey, SpongeBob, look! ''[shows SpongeBob a flight of rickety, nail-ridden wooden stairs leading down]'' Here's the way down. Well, we're not gonna get the crown standing here. On to Shell City. ''[Patrick takes the first step, and a monster growls. He is shocked at first, but he proceeds to step on it over and over, making more growling sounds]'' Hey, look, it's making noise. SpongeBob? ''[sees him about to leave]'' Hey, where are you going?
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': ''I'm'' going home, Patrick.
:'''Patrick Star''': But what about Mr. Krabs?
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': What about us? We'll never survive in that trench! ''You'' said it yourself; this is man's country. And let's face it, Pat. ''We're'' just... kids.
:'''Patrick Star''': ''We're not kids!''
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Open your eyes, Patrick! ''We'' blow bubbles, ''we'' eat ice cream, ''we'' worship a dancing peanut for corn's sake! ''We'' don't belong out here!
:'''Patrick Star''': ''We'' do not worship ''him!?''
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': ''[pulls down Patrick's shorts]'' Patrick. You've been wearing the same Goofy Goober Peanut Party underpants for three years straight! ''[we see Patrick's underwear with the Goofy Goober pictures on it]'' What do you call that!?
:'''Patrick Star''': Worship? ''[gets tears in his eyes]'' Oh, you're right, SpongeBob! We ''are'' kids! ''[runs off while crying then falls down]''
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Pull your pants up, Patrick. ''We're'' going home.
:'''Princess Mindy''': ''[arrives]'' But you ''can't'' go home!
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': ''[surprise]'' Mindy!
:'''Patrick Star''': Mindy? ''[pulls his pants up]''
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': How much did you hear?
:'''Princess Mindy''': I heard enough.
:'''Patrick Star''': Did you see my underwear?
:'''Princess Mindy''': No, Patrick.
:'''Patrick Star''': Did you want to?
:'''Princess Mindy''': Look guys, you may be kids, but you're the only ones left who can get that crown.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': What d'you mean, the only ones left?
:'''Princess Mindy''': Things have gotten a lot worse since you left Bikini Bottom. Or should I say... Planktopolis.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Princess Mindy''': So now that you're men, can ya make it to Shell City?
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': HECK, YEAH!
:'''Princess Mindy''': Are men afraid of anything?
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': HECK, NO!
:'''Princess Mindy''': And why?
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': BECAUSE WE'RE INVINCIBLE! YEAH! ''[jump off the edge into the trench]'' WHOO-HOO!
:'''Princess Mindy''': I never said that!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dennis''': Finally. I gotcha right where I want you.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Uh, can I help you with something, sir?
:'''Dennis''': Name's Dennis, I've been hired to exterminate you.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': You're gonna exterminate us? ''[SpongeBob and Patrick laugh]'' Listen, junior, you caught me and my friend here in a good mood today, so I'm gonna let you off with a warning. Step aside, and you won't have to feel the awesome wrath of our mustaches.
:'''Dennis''': You mean, these? ''[rips off the fake mustaches]'' I thought you still had a piece of salad stuck to your lip from lunchtime. 
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': They were fake?
:'''Dennis''': Of '''''course''''' they were fake! This is what a '''''real''''' mustache looks like.
:'''Patrick Star''': Is he a mermaid?
:'''Dennis''': Alright, enough gab.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': What are you gonna do to us?
:'''Dennis''': Plankton was very specific.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Plankton?
:'''Dennis''': For some reason, he wanted me to step on ya.
:'''Patrick Star''': Step on us?
:'''Dennis''': Yeah, that way you'll never find out that '''''he''''' stole the crown! ''[SpongeBob and Patrick look at each other in stunned surprise]'' Uh...Perhaps I've said too much.
:'''Patrick Star''': That's a big boot.
:'''Dennis''': Don't worry. This will only hurt a lot! '''''I love this job!'''''
:''[an extremely large boot stomps on him]''
:'''Patrick Star''': BIGGER BOOT! 
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': ''[stops Patrick]'' Wait, Pat, this bigger boot saved our lives.
:'''Patrick Star''': Yay.
:'''Both''': Thank you, stranger.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Uhh, stranger? '''''IT'S THE CYCLOPS!!!'''''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': What's he gonna do with us? Oh, no! He's going for his evil instruments of torture! Glue? Googly eyes? He's making a humorous diorama of...Alexander Clam Bell?! Patrick, he's killing sea animals and making them into smelly knick-knacks! And I think '''''we're''''' next.
:'''Patrick Star''': You think so?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': The heat is so intense from this lamp, that I can't move.
:'''Patrick Star''': Tell me about it.
:''[The Cyclops laughs. He picks up a book, and walks to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him]''
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': This doesn't look too good, Patrick.
:'''Patrick Star''': You mean we're not gonna... ♪ Get the crown, save the town and Mr. Krabs? ♪
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': I don't even think we're gonna be able to save ourselves, buddy.
:''[SpongeBob's arm snaps off, then Patrick puts it back]''
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Thanks.
:'''Patrick Star''': Don't mention it.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Well, it looks like what everybody said about us is true, Patrick.
:'''Patrick Star''': You mean that we're attractive?
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': No, that we're just... kids. A couple of kids in way over their heads. We were doomed from the start. I mean, look at us. We didn't even come close to the crown. We let everybody down. We failed.
:'''Patrick Star''': Shell City.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Yeah, we never made it to Shell City.
:'''Patrick Star''': Shell City.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Exactly, buddy. Yeah, the place we never got to.
:'''Patrick Star''': Shell City.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Okay, now you're starting to bum me out, Patrick.
:'''Patrick Star''': No! Look at the sign: &quot;Shell City: Marine Gifts and Sundries&quot;.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Shell City is a gift shop? But if this is Shell City, then where's the...?
:'''Both''': Crown!
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Neptune's crown! This ''is'' Shell City! Pat, we ''did'' make it.
:'''Patrick Star''': Yeah, I guess we did.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': ''[sniffles]'' We did all right for a couple of goofballs. ''[singing]'' I'm a goofy goober, yeah! 
:'''Both''': ''[singing]'' You're a goofy goober, yeah! We're all goofy goobers, yeah! Goofy... Goofy... Goober... Goober... ''[their last words]'' ''yeah!'' ''[SpongeBob SquarePants and Patrick Star are turned into real life sponge and starfish. The pirates are crying because SpongeBob and Patrick turned into real life.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Captain Bart''': That's the end of SpongeBob. Come here, you!
:'''Potty The Parrot''': ''[squawking]'' Shut up and look at the screen.
:'''Captain Bart''': Argh! The bird's right. Look! It be the tear of the Goofy Goobers.
:''[The heart-shaped tear, trembles and comes together to form a big tear. It slides down a cord. The tear pokes through the outlet, causing it to spark. The light from the heat lamp turns off, and smoke rises to a sprinkler. More sprinklers spray water around the room. The spraying water brings the dried-up SpongeBob and Patrick back to life as they gasp and breathe in]''
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Hey, we're alive!
:''[The pirates and crowd cheer]''
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Let's get that crown.
:'''Patrick Star''': Right.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': On 3, Patrick. Ready? 1, 2, 3. Hey, it's lighter that I thought. 
:''[The Cyclops is actually holding it by the top, SpongeBob and Patrick to scream]''
:'''All''': Huh?
:'''Cyclops''': Huh?
:'''Patrick Star''': What's happening?!
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': I don't know! Look!
:''[All around the room, the creatures come to life, each one at a time, even 3 fishes playing Mariachi instruments who play Jarabe Tapatio]''
:'''Cyclops''': ''[looking around]'' Huh? What? Huh? ''[as he watches more creatures come to life, they growl angrily at him. A lobster taps on the back of his helmet, getting his attention. He turns to face it]'' Huh? ''[the lobster reveals the glue bottle and jar of googly eyes]'' Uh-oh. ''[the lobster squirts glue onto the Cyclops's face, and falls over]'' Whoa!
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Come on, Patrick! Let's get this crown back to Bikini Bottom. Do you still have that bag of winds?
:'''Patrick Star''': I sure do. ''[the duo laugh as he takes out the bag]'' Here you go.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': ''[confused]'' Umm...
:'''Patrick Star''': What?
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Nothing, nothing. Okay, let's go over the instructions. Let's see, it says here: &quot;Step 1: Point the bag away from home.&quot;
:'''Patrick Star''': Okay.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': &quot;Step 2: Plant your feet firmly on the ground.&quot;
:'''Patrick Star''': Right.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': &quot;Step 3: Remove the string from the bag, releasing the winds.&quot;
:'''Patrick Star''': Check.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Well, that seems simple enough. &quot;Point the bag away from home, your feet firmly on the ground, pull the string, releasing the winds.&quot; Alright, let's do it for real.
:'''Patrick Star''': Uh, SpongeBob? 
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': No, no, stop!
:'''Patrick Star''': I was bad! I'm sorry! Please, bag, I'm sorry! I just thought...It was a mistake!
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Oh, no! How will we ever get back to Bikini Bottom now?
:'''[[w:David Hasselhoff|David Hasselhoff]]''': I can take you there.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Who are you?
:'''David Hasselhoff''': I'm David Hasselhoff.
:'''Both''': Hooray!
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Um, so where's your boat?
:'''Hasselhoff''': &quot;Boat?&quot; ''[laughs]''
:''[Later, David Hasselhoff swims on the water with SpongeBob, Patrick and the crown on his back]''
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Go, Hasselhoff!
:'''Patrick Star''': Next stop, Bikini Bottom!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Back on the surface, Hasselhoff, with SpongeBob, Patrick and the crown still on his back, zooms across the water like a speedboat. A fisherman startles as he falls off his boat after seeing Hasselhoff, who smile]''
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Hooray for Hasselhoff! Nothing can stop us now!
:'''Patrick Star''': Huh? Unidentified object off the hindquarters.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': It looks like... Bigger boot. But how?  AAHH! DENNIS!
:'''Dennis''': Did you miss me?
:'''Sheldon J. Plankton''': This is the best seat in the house. Alright, Neptune, let's get it on!  
:'''King Neptune''': Eugene Krabs, your six day reprieve is up, and it is time for you to die. 
:'''Eugene Harold Krabs''': Please, I didn't do it! 
:'''King Neptune''': There is nothing else I can do.
:'''Mindy''': You can give SpongeBob and Patrick a little more time.
:'''King Neptune''': Except give SpongeBob and Patrick a little more ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-time---- WHAT? Mindy, will you butt out? I won't have you stalling this execution.
:'''Mindy''': Stalling? I'm not stalling anything.
:'''King Neptune''': Yes, you are.
:'''Mindy''': No, I'm not.
:'''King Neptune''': Yes, you are. You're doing it right now.
:'''Mindy''': I'm stalling?
:'''King Neptune''': Yes.
:'''Mindy''': Stalling?
:'''King Neptune''': Stalling!
:'''Mindy''': Stalling.
:'''King Neptune''': Stalling!
:'''Sheldon J. Plankton''': Oh, boy.
:'''Dennis''': Now, where were we?
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Patrick, run!
:'''Patrick Star''': No! I'm tired of running. If we run now, we'll never stop- ''[Dennis knocks him away]'' '''Run, SpongeBob!'''
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Ahhhhhh! ''[He slides down David's rear, but Dennis stabs it with his knife]''
:'''Hasselhoff''': Ooh! Take it easy back there, fellas.
:'''Patrick Star''': SpongeBob, be careful!
:'''Dennis''': Come on, kid, give it up. Dennis always gets his man.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': '''NEVER!!!!!!!!!!''' ''[jumps to Hasselhoff's other leg]'' Yeah, I did it!
:'''Dennis''': You got guts, kid. Too bad I gotta rip 'em outta ya.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Uh, I don't know what Plankton's paying you, but if you let us go, I can make it worth your while. ''[presents a stack of Goober Dollars]''
:'''Dennis''': ''[grabs them]'' It's gonna take more than 5...What is this?
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Uh, that, sir, is 5 Goober Dollars. Legal tender at any participating Goofy Goober - ''[Dennis furiously grabs him by the shirt]'' I got bubbles. Fun at parties. ''[Blows them at Dennis's face]'' 
:'''Dennis''': My eyes!
:'''Patrick Star''': I got you, SpongeBob!
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Thanks, buddy. Yeah, thanks a lot.
:'''Dennis''': ''[last words]'' That's it! I'm through messin' around! SEE YA LATER, FOOLS! Huh? 
:''[A boat horn honks, and Hasselhoff ducks under a catamaran. The boat knocks Dennis off him]''
:'''Patrick Star''': See ya.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Princess Mindy''': No! No! No! Oh, SpongeBob, wherever you are, you better hurry.
:''[Back on the surface, Hasselhoff stops near Bikini Atoll Island]''
:'''Hasselhoff''': OK, fellas, this is where you get off. Bikini Bottom is directly below.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': But we'll never be able to float down in time.
:'''Hasselhoff''': Who said anything about floating?
:'''Houston Voice''': ''[As David stands up]'' Initiating launch sequence.
:'''SpongeBob and Patrick''': What the...?
:''[David's pecs slide out and apart from one another]''
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Did you see that?
:'''Patrick Star''': The control.
:'''Hasselhoff''': All hands on deck!
:''[David places the crown with SpongeBob and Patrick on it between his pecs, then begins to squeeze them out.]''
:'''Houston Voice''': 10 seconds to liftoff. 10, 9, 8...
:''[Cut back and forth between David and the Krusty Krab]''
:'''Neptune''': Eugene Krabs, the time has come... ''[lights his trident]'' 
:'''Princess Mindy''': No.
:'''Sheldon J. Plankton''': Yes.
:'''Houston Voice''': ...7, 6, 5...
:'''Neptune''': ...for you...
:'''Princess Mindy''': No.
:'''Sheldon J. Plankton''': Yes.
:'''Houston Voice''': ...4, 3, 2...
:'''King Neptune''': ...to fry.
:'''Princess Mindy''': No.
:'''Sheldon J. Plankton''': Yes.
:'''Houston Voice''': ...1.
:''[David launches the crown into the water; SpongeBob and Patrick hold on to the crown zooming at high speed as they holler and speed right back to Bikini Bottom toward the Krusty Krab 2]''
:'''Krabs''': ''[closes his eyes]'' No!
:''[The duo crashes through the roof with the crown. Just as a ray of light is about to hit Krabs, the crown blocks it and deflects it upward through the ceiling, saving his life. The ray of light blasts up to the surface where Hasselhoff is]''
:'''Hasselhoff''': You've done good, Hasselhoff. You've done... ''[the ray of light zaps him]'' Ow.
:'''Eugene Harold Krabs''': ''[opens his eyes]'' Huh? Huh?
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Hooray! We made it! 
:'''Patrick Star''': We made it!  
:'''Neptune''': My crown! My beautiful crown! ''[kisses it]'' 
:'''Princess Mindy''': SpongeBob, Patrick? ''[hugs them]'' I knew you could do it! 
:'''Sheldon J. Plankton''': ''[clapping slowly]'' Oh, yes. Well done, SpongeBoob.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Sorry to rain on your parade, Plankton.
:'''Sheldon J. Plankton''': Oh, don't worry about me. My parade shall be quite dry under my umbrella! 
:'''SpongeBob, Patrick Star, and Princess Mindy''': Umbrella?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Because I did what everyone said a kid ''couldn't'' do, I made it to Shell City, I beat the Cyclops, I rode the Hasselhoff, and I brought the crown '''''back!'''''
:'''Sheldon J. Plankton''': Alright, we get the point!
:''[A spotlight shines on SpongeBob as he is surrounded by disco lights and fog]''
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': So, yeah, I'm a kid, and I'm also a goofball, and a wing nut, and a Knucklehead McSpazatron!
:'''Sheldon J. Plankton''': ''[coughs]'' What's goin' on here?
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': But most of all, I'm... 
:'''Sheldon J. Plankton''': Okay, settle down.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': I'm... 
:'''Sheldon J. Plankton''': Take it easy!
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': I'm...!!!
:'''Sheldon J. Plankton''': WHAT THE SCALLOP?!
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': I'm a Goofy Goober!
'''(ROCK!)'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[SpongeBob uses a Goofy Goober guitar laser to free the citizens of Bikini Bottom]''
:'''Sheldon J. Plankton''': MY PRECIOUS HELMETS!
:'''Squidward Tentacles''': Ha!
:'''Penelope Puff''': Ooh!
:'''Sandy Cheeks''': Yee-haw!
:'''Gary the Snail''': Meow.
:'''Sheldon J. Plankton''': His chops are too righteous! The helmets can't handle this level of rock and roll! Karen, do something! Alright, that's the last straw! Neptune, I command you to-
:''[SpongeBob frees him, too]''
:'''Princess Mindy''': ''[giving the crown to her father]'' Here you go, Daddy.
:'''Sheldon J. Plankton''': I'd better get out of here.
:'''Sandals''': Look! It's the wizard who saved us!
:'''Sheldon J. Plankton''': ''[last words before his defeat]'' Out of my way, fools! ''[gets trampled by every fish]'' Come on, I was just kidding. Come on, you guys knew that, didn't you? With the helmets and the monuments. ''[laughs]'' Wasn't that hilarious, everybody? I'll destroy all of you!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Last lines]'' 
:'''Mr. Krabs''': SpongeBob, me boy! I'm sorry I ever doubted you. That's a mistake I won't make again.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Oh, Mr. Krabs, you old soft-serve.
:'''Mr. Krabs''': And now, SpongeBob, I'm gonna do something that I should've done 6 days ago. Mr. Squidward, front and center, please. I think we all know who rightfully deserves to wear that manager pin.
:'''Squidward Tentacles''': I couldn't agree more, sir.
:'''Harold''': Hooray for SpongeBob!
:''[Everyone cheers]''
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Wait a second, everybody. There's something I need to say first. I just don't know how to put it.
:'''Squidward Tentacles''': I think I know what it is. After going on your life-changing journey, you now realize you don't want what you thought you wanted. What you really wanted was inside you all along.
:'''SpongeBob SquarePants''': Are you crazy? I was just gonna tell you that your fly was down. Manager?! This is the greatest day of my life!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[In a post-credit scene]''
:'''Captain Bart''': ''[last lines]'' You know, David Hasselhoff is a great artist.
:'''Usher''': Excuse me, sir. You folks have to leave.
:'''Captain Bart''': What? Say that again, if you dare.
:'''Usher''': ''[pirate accent]'' You folks have to leave.
:'''Captain Bart''': Okay.

== Taglines ==
* A hero will rise.
* Bigger. Better. More absorbent.
* Hero. Legend. Sponge.
* Sponge meets world.

== Cast ==
=== Character Voices ===
* [[Tom Kenny]] — [[w:SpongeBob SquarePants (character)|SpongeBob]], [[w:List of SpongeBob SquarePants characters#French Narrator|Narrator]], Clay, Tough Fish #2, Houston Voice
* [[Clancy Brown]] — [[w:Mr. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
* [[Rodger Bumpass]] — [[w:Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]], Fish #4
* [[Bill Fagerbakke]] — [[w:Patrick Star|Patrick Star]], Fish #2, Chum Customer, Local Fish
* [[Mr. Lawrence]] — [[w:Plankton and Karen|Plankton]], Fred, Lloyd
* [[w:Jill Talley|Jill Talley]] — [[w:Plankton and Karen|Karen]], Old Lady
* [[Carolyn Lawrence]] — [[w:Sandy Cheeks|Sandy]]
* [[w:Mary Jo Catlett|M.J Catlett]] — [[w:Mrs. Puff|Mrs. Puff]]
* [[w:Jeffrey Tambor|Jeffrey Tambor]] — [[w:List of SpongeBob SquarePants characters#King Neptune|King Neptune]]
* [[Scarlett Johansson]] — [[w:List of SpongeBob SquarePants characters#Film characters| Princess Mindy]]
* [[Alec Baldwin]] — [[w:List of SpongeBob SquarePants characters#Film characters|Dennis]]
* [[Dee Bradley Baker]] — Man Cop, Phil, Perch Perkins, Waiter, Floyd, Thug, Coughing Fish, Twin #1, Freed Fish, Sandals
* [[w:Sirena Irwin|Sirena Irwin]] — Reporter, Driver, Ice Cream Lady
* [[w:Lori Alan|Lori Alan]] — [[w:Pearl Krabs|Pearl]]
* [[w:Thomas F. Wilson|Tom Wilson]] — Fish #3, Victor
* [[w:Carlos Alazraqui|Carlos Alazraqui]] — Squire, Goofy Goober Announcer, Thief
* [[Ben Elton]] — Prisoner (uncredited)
* Thick Wilson — Singing Goofy Goober (does not speak)
* [[w:Charles Collingwood (actor)|Charles Collingwood]] — Pirate
* [[w:Junior Campbell|Junior Campbell]] — Laughing Bubble (uncredited)
* [[w:Steve Nallon|Steve Nallon]] — [[w:List of SpongeBob SquarePants characters#Potty the Parrot|The Parrot]]
* Mike Mulloy - Twin #2
* [[Frank Welker]] - Gary, Frogfish Monster
==== Additional Voices ====
* [[w:Eddie Redmayne|Eddie Redmayne]] — Voice of the Cyclops (uncredited) (Neil Ross, Grunts only)
* [[w:Don Austen|Don Austen]] — as the Fisherman (uncredited)

=== Live-Action Characters ===
* [[w:David Hasselhoff|David Hasselhoff — Himself]]
* Kristopher Logan — as Pirate Captain
* D.P. FitzGerald — as Pirate 1
* Cole McKay — as Pirate 2
* Dylan Haggerty — as Pirate 3
* Bart McCarthy — as Pirate 4
* Henry Kingi — as Pirate 5
* Randolph Jones — as Pirate 6
* Paul Zies — as Pirate 7
* Gerard Griesbaum — as Pirate 8
* Aaron Hendry — as Pirate 9 [[w:List of SpongeBob SquarePants characters#Film characters|Cyclops Diver]]
* Maxie Santillan — as Pirate 10
* Peter DeYoung — as Pirate 11
* Gino Montesinos — as Pirate 12
* John Siciliano — as Pirate 13
* David Stifel — as Pirate 14
* Alex Baker — as Pirate 15
* Robin Russell — as Pirate 16
* Tommy Schooler — as Pirate 17
* Ben Wilson — as Pirate 18
* José Zelay — as Pirate 19
*Mageina Tovah — uncredited as Movie cleaner
*Thick Wilson — as Concession Guys-uncredited
*Dean Jones — as Fisherman -uncredited

== Teaser Trailer ==
:''[The teaser trailer starts with the Paramount Pictures logo]''
:'''Voice''': Sonar 4-0, is that sound still out there?
:''[The scene cuts inside a submarine]''
:'''Man #1''': ''[speaking German]'' Concact, bearing 60°. Quite faint.
:'''Bart Mancuso''': What do you got?
:''[Seaman Ronald &quot;Jonesy&quot; Jones holds up his hand]''
:'''Beaumont''': What's going on, Jones?
:''[Jonesy holds his headphones. He hears SpongeBob laughing]''
:'''Man #2''': I can hear…
:'''Man #3''': What is it?
:'''Man #2''': Splashes!
:''[The people look up as they hear SpongeBob laugh again]''
:'''Jonesy''': 3,000 yards. Closing, ultimately fast.
:''[Mancuso and his friends look closely at the submarine radar, where a silhouette of SpongeBob appears on the right. Vice Admiral James Greer looks shocked]''
:'''Greer''': Mother of God!
:''[The scene cuts to the bathroom of SpongeBob's house. In the bathtub, SpongeBob plays with his submarine while laughing, wearing a sailor's hat. Gary, with his eyes above the tub's surface, watches him]''
:'''SpongeBob''': Don't you just love playing submarine, Gary?
:''[Gary meows underwater as if to say, &quot;Guess so.&quot;]''
:'''SpongeBob''': &lt;big&gt;''Prepare to dive!''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[As SpongeBob imitates a propeller, he plunges his submarine into the tub. The scene cuts back inside it, where water sprays through the walls! The people try to clog them]''
:'''Man #4''': Move it! Move it! Move it!
:''[The movie's early title appears overblack]''
:'''Announcer''': ''The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie''.
:''[As the theme song from the show plays, the scene cuts to the bottom of the tub, where SpongeBob's submarine lays on the drain as the tub water goes down. A rubber duck is nearby]''
:'''Man #5''': Captain, sir. Um... you're never gonna believe this.
:''[The scene cuts back inside the submarine as the show's theme song fades]''
:'''Jonesy''': For one second, I thought I hear it.
:'''Mancuso''': Hear what?
:'''Jonesy''': I thought I hear singing, sir.
:''[The theme song ends with a pirate laughing as a nose flute was heard. An orange fish with white text reading, &quot;Nickelodeon&quot;, swims above red words reading, &quot;Thanksgiving 2005&quot;, ending the teaser trailer]''

==External Links==
*{{Commonscat-inline}}
*{{wikipedia-inline}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:SpongeBob SquarePants Movie, The}}

{{SpongeBob SquarePants}}
{{Authority control}}


[[Category:2005 animated films]]
[[Category:2005 American animated films]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated films]]
[[Category:American animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American animated comedy films]]
[[Category:Films based on animated television series]]
[[Category:American films with live action and animation]]
[[Category:Films about mermaids]]
[[Category:SpongeBob SquarePants (film series)]]
[[Category:Films based on television series]]
[[Category:Nickelodeon films]]
[[Category:Animated buddy films]]
[[Category:Animated films about revenge]]
[[Category:Animated films about friendship]]
[[Category:Animated films about fish]]
[[Category:Films about revenge]]
[[Category:2000s English-language films]]
[[Category:Films about kings]]</text>
      <sha1>lioehjgzci8e31u2711sz45lg3d9uom</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Ida Friederike Görres</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>113177</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943916</id>
      <parentid>3546142</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:47:15Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>removed [[Category:Women authors]]; added [[Category:Women authors from Austria]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <origin>3943916</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="35199" sha1="rwmuuearq51fjju9rcv0uaq15fhy5s3" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Ida Friederike Görres|Ida Friederike Görres]]''' (born '''Elisabeth Friederike, Reichsgräfin Coudenhove-Kalergi'''; 2 December 1901, in Schloss [[w:Poběžovice|Ronsperg]], [[w:Kingdom of Bohemia|Bohemia]] – 15 May 1971, in [[w:Frankfurt am Main|Frankfurt am Main]]) was a Catholic writer. From the [[w:Coudenhove-Kalergi|Coudenhove-Kalergi]] family, she was the daughter, one of seven children, of Count [[w:Heinrich von Coudenhove-Kalergi|Heinrich von Coudenhove-Kalergi]] and his Japanese wife [[w:Mitsuko Aoyama|Mitsuko Aoyama]].

==Quotes==
From ''Broken Lights'' and ''[[w:The Hidden Face|The Hidden Face]]'' :

* There's no redder rag for our modern, progressive Catholics than a certain religious approach to sex and ''[[w:Eros|Eros]]'' ranging from suspicion to open condemnation and branded accordingly as [[w:Manichean|Manichean]], [[w:neo-Platonic|neo-Platonic]], [[Puritan]], etc. Quite unacceptable. And yet in these quite obviously heretical speculations there's a barb which, even at first encounter, penetrated to the depths of my mind as the startling confirmation of something ''always known'', and this ferment keeps on working - all the time...the idea which one finds in so many apocryphal trends of thought, i.e. that there's definitely ''something wrong'' with sex in its present form, that is, during this terrestrial aeon - something that is ''not'' sex in itself, as a whole, but some trait or quality.. Something which does not belong to original human nature, but which owes its actual existence to ''[[w:The Fall of Man|The Fall]]''; in the same sense unnatural as death is unnatural and yet taken for granted, an inevitable, undeniable factor - in this fallen world.
** ''Broken Lights'' p15-16  Diaries 1951.

* ''genuine'' continence and virginity are rare and costly achievements - admirable and really extraordinary; the real thing , ''nota bene'', not simply a shrivelling of Eros-power by means of life-long taboo injections. The Ancients knew this - they called chastity, honestly, simply and humbly, a ''gift'', a ''[[w:charisma|charisma]]'', to be implored from God with tears and in humiliating experience - not just a simple athletic feat of will-power and self-control.
** ''Broken Lights'' p. 21 Diaries 1951.

* Once again the tide of [[w:carmelite|Carmelite]] spitrituality is drawing me, like a current, and, yet again, I sense its dangerous challenge to my own appointed way. Utter nakedness, utter rejection, utter renunciation - how tempting is this stream of spirituality, with the tremendous nimbus of its glorious and venerable past!
** ''Broken Lights'' p. 25 Diaries 1951.

* The close affinity between sexual Eros and deceit is very startling - as in infatuation, infidelity and jealousy: &quot; ''Quoniam lumbi mei repleti sunt'' illusionibus. &quot; For, isolated, ''Eros'' is in every sense the most treacherous counterfeit of love, sending a continual flow of self-deception and delusion throughout the world, etc.
** ''Broken Lights'' p. 33 Diaries 1951.

* I've just finished reading [[Shakespeare]]'s ''[[The Sonnets|Sonnets]]'', that is, I've read and ''understood'' them for the first time. One passionate, desolate lament - immeasurable and inconsolable - for the waning, wasting and passing of beauty. At the same time there's something disturbingly un-Christian here - the utterly heathen, desperate keening of the dirges, the grisly dances of death, ''danses macabres'', in which death is nothing but the ''end'', finality - destruction, not transition.
** ''Broken Lights'' p. 38 Diaries 1951

* That wild Irish novel (''Blackcock's Feather'', [[w:Maurice Walsh|Maurice Walsh]]), a wonderful [[w:Elizabethan|Elizabethan]] ''[[w:cloak and dagger|cloak and dagger]]'' story, has started me spinning again, those same old threads; the link between begetting and killing, i.e. that sex and death must both be phenomena of fallen Creation...Another odd parallel; the very men who haven't the courage to beget children, to accept fatherhood, are likely to be pacifists on principle, and opponents of the death penalty. What was it that old Afghan, Mahbud Ali, said to ''[[w:Kim(novel)|Kim]]'': &quot;When I was fifteen I had shot my man and begot my man!&quot;..as representative of God and Christ glorified, consecrated to him, he [the priest] is absolved from these characteristics of fallen humanity, dispensed, raised above them - neither for [[w:ascetic|ascetic]] reasons, nor on human grounds, but simply because these are ''the'' symbols of the ''Adamite'' order.
** ''Broken Lights'' p. 41-42 Diaries 1951.

* Isn't the very fact that convents exist dazzling evidence enough of the presence of the Spirit, unsatisfactory and odd as their inmates often are?
** ''Broken Lights'' p. 79 Diaries 1951-1952.

* [[w:Goethe|Goethe]], whose letters I've been reading very intensively during the past few weeks, is always stressing ''Verträglichkeit'' - agreeing to live and let live - as the most important element of friendship: we shouldn't try to ''change'' people, but simply let them be as they are, making the best of even partial concord, instead of trying to force a fictitious perfect harmony.
** ''Broken Lights p. 82 Diaries 1951-1952

[[File:Hieronymus Bosch 037.jpg|thumb|right| I came across a comment by [[w:Wilhelm Fraenger|Wilhelm Fraenger]] asserting [[w:Hieronymus Bosch|Bosch]] to have been an all-round [[w:heresy|heretic]]..that centre panel of the ''Garten der Lüste'' is steeped in more wickedness and horror than the panel showing Hell..those figures in the Garden itself..bewitched, spell-struck, drugged by sorcery, with faces like dope addicts..A queer, indefinable whiff of perversity clings to the whole thing..(''Broken Lights'' Diaries 1951-52)]]

* Even read in such broken bits [[w:Origen|Origen]] is real food and drink. You can feel it being absorbed, right away, into your very blood. How terse, how compact he is! All this modern stuff is barley-water in comparison.
** ''Broken Lights p. 87 Diaries 1951-1952.

* one's twentieth birthday. That day opened the door to a wider life: I reached out to grasp reality. But in fact it was reality which gripped me with its restrictions and constraints and rules which arrogantly claim to be the laws of life, of the universe. To be ''grown-up'' really meant resignation; one gave in (if ruefully), laughing a little at one's young dreams.
** ''Broken Lights''  p. 63 Diaries 1951-1952.

* We're always being told that ''[[w:The Fall of Man|the Fall]]'' had nothing whatever to do with sex. No, I can't believe this any more...Not that procreation, as such, would never have been without the Fall. That's nonsense, to my mind; but somehow or other it would have been ''different''...If it's true that [[w:Thomas Aquinas|St Thomas]] held other and more optimistic views on this subject, this doesn't disconcert me one bit. Maybe an ''angel-type'', as he was, endowed with the charism of virginity, would be incapable of realizing the depth of the Fall in this domain. What is always attributed to the latent Manicheism in [[w:Augustine of Hippo|St Augustine]] might well be the realism of experience.
** ''Broken Lights'' p. 90-91 Diaries 1951-1952.

*[[w:Francis de Sales|Francis de Sales]] defines jealousy as the expression of a violent but impure love. Does he know how it can be purified, I wonder? Or must it die slowly- in its own festering sore, as it were - burning, oozing out, the way a wound cleanses itself before it heals?
** ''Broken Lights'' p. 105 Diaries 1953-1954

[[File:BJLABRE1.jpg|thumb|left| Perhaps it was [[w:Benedict Joseph Labre|Benedict Joseph Labre]]'s special task to ''redeem'' the core of truth in [[w:Jansenism|Jansenism]]?..For his own concept of God was actually the Jansenist image: the God of wrath, the strict and terrible Judge, all-demanding, to be approached only in fear and trembling - no, only to be adored from afar, never to be neared at all...A rum crowd, our saints, but the really preposterous thing is that the Church actually canonized them! (Diaries 1955-57) ]]

*[[w:German Youth Movement|The German Youth Movement]] started quite inconspicuously: a band of secondary schoolboys in Berlin, bored to death by their homes and schools and grown-ups in general, sought to elude this adult world by spending their Sundays and holidays roaming the countryside - what we call hiking, an unheard of pursuit in those days...Hiking became symbolic, standing for ''Back to Nature'' against modern civilization; the free-lance spirit as against gregariousness, yet, paradoxically, the urge for comradeship against atomizing individualism...In 1933 the Nazis swallowed up the groups on the nationalistic fringe and shattered the bulk of the ''Bünde'' as bulwarks of the individualistic and independent spirit...Today, I suppose, for many of its former members the Youth Movement represents no more than a store of youthful memories. But a small but by no means negligible minority did receive a basic shaping and moulding which held good for the rest of their lives, the essence of that fleeting spirit of the Movement: a shared vision of the true nature of man and his place in the universe,...; a special kind of awareness to Nature; an extremely keen sense of intellectual and spiritual responsibility and a peculiar sanity and sobriety of judgment. This is quite a lot to be thankful for.
** Appendix, ''Broken Lights'' Diaries and Letters 1951-1959.

* I've come to the end of [[w:Friedrich von Hügel|von Hügel]]'s voluminous work on [[w:Catherine of Genoa|Catherine of Genoa]]. For such outlay in erudition, it's basically an unrewarding book (for me!), but full of interesting side-lights...Curious, for instance, that Catherine, always universally cited as ''the'' recognised ''authority'', the most important and competent witness to the nature of [[w:Purgatory|Purgatory]], should  actually never have had a vision of it - neither as ''shewing'' nor as ''visiting in spirit'', as other mystics did..Her statements are pure ''conclusions'', analogies, based on her own spiritual experiences of suffering and bliss: &quot;So that's what it must be like in Purgatory!&quot;
** ''Broken Lights'' Diaries 1955-57.

* people run away from burdens these days. There's nothing they hate more than to be burdened or tied. This accounts for this perverse cult of youthfulness: youth is in itself the ''yet'' unburdened state - so we worship youthful looks as the sign and symbol of that craving, almost the promise of its fulfilment. But to attempt to keep it for ever only leads to sterility in every sense: monstrous perversion of youth, destined as blossom of the fruit...
** ''Broken Lights'' Diaries 1953-54.

* The sins of our educational system (Catholic): How we ourselves were wronged by it and how we wronged others in its name. What people call ''moral training'' is really a political activity - representing a particular community and its ''vested interests'', which is why it is so liable to political sins and blunders.
** ''Broken Lights''  Diaries 1953-54.

* Actually we were brought up to ingratitude - a relentless training through which we were taught to find nothing whatever good in ourselves, whether natural or spiritual..Conquering pride and conceit, they called it, practising humility, self-praise is no praise - all very well...Was pride ''really'' crushed by all this snubbing and humiliation? Was it not rather ''repressed''...Worse still, we learnt this way to cultivate the ''devil's mirror'' eye of [[w:Hans Christian Andersen|Hans Andersen]]'s  [[w:The Snow Queen|Snow Queen]] , over-vigilant, super-critical sight, sharpened to discover the worm in every bud, even the tiniest plant-louse! For if one practises this sort of discipline on oneself, day and night, it is asking too much - at any rate of a young girl - to judge one's neighbour by another yard-stick. All the time one's lynx-eyed consciousness remained on the alert, quick to pounce on everything negative - in you and in myself...Hans Andersen well knew how near this attitude is to blasphemy.
** ''Broken Lights''  Diaries 1953-54.

* [[w:Psalm|Psalm]] 118 - my solace and my blessing - unfathomably deep. It is my backbone.
** ''Broken Lights''  Diaries 1953-54.

* &quot;From time to time I have the feeling that certain instincts [urges? involuntary impulses?] are being annihilated within me, which have hitherto seemed good and perfect: yet as soon as they are destroyed I perceive how evil and imperfect they were.&quot; (Catherine of Genoa). This strikes me as very important, for it shows that the judgment of conscience can change, and precisely in someone whose conscience must already have been particularly highly developed, sensitive and illuminated.
** ''Broken Lights'' Diaries 1955-57.

* ''Larion's Law'' by [[w:Peter Freuchen|Peter Freuchen]]. An Indian saga written by a Dane who lived for thirty years among the woodland tribes of Alaska and even had an Eskimo wife...Really one is ashamed to belong to a white race...what ''we'' did to Indians, Negroes, Australian aborigines (not even out of political fanaticism either, but as a matter of course, ''en passant'')
** ''Broken Lights''  Diaries 1955-57

[[File:Teresa13anni.JPG|thumb|left| It would certainly be unfair to call [[w:Thérèse of Lisieux|Thérèse of Lisieux]] ''limited'', narrow. She was ''very'' alert and intelligent, and could certainly have gone to university today, passing all examinations with flying colours. But her ''horizon'' was limited - she was quite definitely a ''vertical'' person, could only grow skywards and into the depths - no breadth. (Diaries 1955-57)]]

* Humanly speaking the Church as a whole will never cut a good figure, and her exceptions seem almost like another species.
** ''Broken Lights''  Diaries 1955-57.

* the ''Legion of little Souls'' ''does exist'', and they did become manifest in [[w:Thérèse of Lisieux|the Little Flower]]. True, they get on our nerves more than they edify us - precisely that awful Martin family with their pompous self-preoccupation, their insufferable family worship, a perpetual mutual admiration society - but, say what you will, such people really do ''have'' religion, in the strictest sense of the word - living contact, authentic ''conversation'' with God. They do live out of their trust in him, are honestly concerned with seeking and doing his will, they take pains about being kind to their neighbours, for his sake. Is this really not enough? To hell with all esoterics!
** ''Broken Lights'' Diaries 1955-57.

* Been reading [[w:Thomas Hardy|Hardy]]'s ''[[w:Return of the Native|Return of the Native]]''. Astonishing how moral standards have shifted over the past hundred years:''shifted'' isn't the word - a landslide...Today the problems of these nineteenth-century novels strike us as exaggerated, as bathos, even comical - much ado about nothing. But for these people it really ''was'' a struggle with the gods, very real, menacing, dangerous gods.
** ''Broken Lights''  Diaries 1955-57.

* All the time each one of us is hovering above an unfathomable abyss of potential calamities of every kind - sensed in that ever-throbbing pulse deep down in one's heart; as long as this chasm does not open up to devour one, the ''floating island'' in any guise whatever must surely be welcome. Wrong notion of God? Asiatic pessimism?
** ''Broken Lights'' Diaries 1955-57.

* That [[w:William Somerset Maugham|Somerset Maugham]] anthology ''[[w:Cakes and Ale|Cakes and Ale]]''. How destructive he is, venomous, pulling everything down in biting, corrosive cynicism. Yet somewhere deep down under all the conceit, sarcasm and snobbery is real quivering pain, helpless bewilderment at the inexplicable fact that human nature is ''chequered''. And what perplexes him is less the common, mean element in ''decent'' people than the goodness and kindness of wicked, vicious ones.
** ''Broken Lights'' Diaries 1955-57.

* I'm reading [[w:George Borrow|George Borrow]]'s ''[[w:Lavengro|Lavengro]]''...and , of course, it fits perfectly into the pattern of my current reading! - [[w:Hans Fallada|Fallada]] and [[w:Arnold Bennett|Arnold Bennett]]'s ''[[w:The Old Wives'Tale|The Old Wives Tale]]'', i.e. my constant musings on the nineteenth century. I was amazed to learn from Bennett's book that in Papa's childhood you could watch an execution, which was a public entertainment, a real show, with high prices paid for windows with a good view, and the local hotels doing a roaring trade.
** ''Broken Lights''  Diaries 1955-57.

* Reading lots of [[w:Charles Dickens|Dickens]]. ''[[w:Barnaby Rudge|Barnaby Rudge]]'': the last Catholic pogrom - ''No Popery'', the Gordon Riots in London - 1780, twenty years before [[w:John Henry Newman|Newman]] was born. He must have known people who had set fire to the houses, or taken in victims and refugees. [[w:Lord George Gordon|Lord George Gordon]] who led the mob (obviously a religious maniac) died as late as 1793. ''[[w:The Old Curiosity Shop|Old Curiosity Shop]]'', ''[[Nicholas Nickleby|Nicholas Nickleby]]'' - this too, is part of Newman's background, this gallery of living gargoyles, ghouls and monsters. Might account, perhaps, even for some of Newman's pessimism about the world and human nature, which some attribute merely to his own melancholy disposition?  That nineteenth century!!
** ''Broken Lights'' Diaries 1955-57.

* Reading O'Rahilly's life of Father William Doyle. I'm surprised this book hasn't left a deeper mark, for it contains - often in parallel terms - the whole teaching of the ''Little Way'' which created such a stir in the case of [[w:Thérèse of Lisieux|Thérèse]]. But it seems people prefer to accept such things from a lovely young girl complete with smile, roses and veil. One can't help wondering whether Thérèse would have met with the same enormous response had she been hopelessly ugly - a hunchback with a squint, or old...
** ''Broken Lights'' Diaries 1955-57

[[File:Ravensburger Schutzmantelmadonna.jpg|thumb|right| The ''[[w:Virgin of Mercy|Schutzmantelmadonna]]'' is the symbol of the Church. (Diaries 1955-57)]]

* ''[[w:Golden Legend|Legenda Aurea]]''. To think that there's no Catholic edition of this most Catholic book!...Richard Benz sees it as epic and myth of the Middle Ages, exact parallel to the Gothic cathedrals. Sunk into oblivion with the epoch, rediscovered through the history of art, in the countless painters inspired by the Legend. Wonderful, costly and beautiful - but belonging utterly to the past, monument, museum:  venerable, interesting , imposing - ''tout à fait passé''.
** ''Broken Lights''  Diaries 1957-59

[[File:Malinche Tlaxcala.jpg|thumb|left|180px|If I were a pagan, a non-European pagan, I'd have one big objection, one special complaint: the fact that the baptized, the white race, have come to be the pest, the curse, the disintegrating ferment for the rest of the world, generally speaking...what is called ''Christendom''..we've branded the whole world with the awful stigma of ugliness, robbing it of its soul, spoiling, violating. By their fruits you shall know them … (Diaries 1957-59)]]

* Life of [[w:Paul of the Cross|Paul of the Cross]], founder of the [[w:Passionists|Passionists]]. Astonishing really that he should be so little known, should have left so little impression..Strangely thrilling that St Paul - end of the eighteenth century! - should have prayed all his life for the conversion of England, pledging his sons to do likewise. Once, during Mass, he had a vision of ''my sons in England''. But only in 1841, almost seventy years after his death, did they actually set foot on English soil - through Fr Dominic Barberi. It was he who received Newman into the Church..
** ''Broken Lights'' Diaries 1957-59.

* Wealth is a virtue which has to be practised, really learnt, if it is to be of any real use to its ''owner'', turned to good account, giving him confidence, freedom, power and independence - not enervating him, making him dependent, stingy, soft and vain.
** ''Broken Lights''  Diaries 1957-59.

* What does really happen when the factor of ''love'' withdraws from a human relationship? Is it a loss or a gain? Is the real landscape revealed at last, hitherto ''transfigured'', but delusive, too, by the driving mist of fantasy? Is it a perverted vision which finds a glowing cloud more beautiful than the solid truth of a plot of earth? And vice versa, what really happens when the radiance, the glamour, begins to take shape, concentrating on a landscape or on a face?
** ''Broken Lights  Diaries 1957-59.

* I'm reading [[w:Günther Anders|Günther Anders]]' ''Die Antiquiertheit des Menschen'' (The Antiquity of Man)..That bit about ''Promethean shame'' impressed me..observations about ''the shame of being oneself'', the reluctance at stepping out of line, of being ''forward'', of being looked at. This is entirely true to life...Yet it's just as natural to man to want to be seen, to want to be outstanding, to be regarded, as to want to hide - and both these instincts - for that's what they are - clash, often with equal force...How clearly I see [[w:Thérèse of Lisieux|the Little Flower]] in this light: from earliest days the focal point for her whole family, yet on the other hand sincerely desiring to be hidden, ''taking the veil'' - and so wonderfully unveiled to posterity, revealed to the world, set up as an image, i.e. to be looked at!
** ''Broken Lights'' Diaries 1957-59.

* isn't every kind of conformity really a sort of masquerade, the mask at once conspicuous and disguising?
** ''Broken Lights''  Diaries  1957-59.

* Yet again - visible and invisible. The panic of loneliness - not physical, far more moral - arises from the fact that every lonely person is wearing a ''tarnkappe'' , a magic hood, (in German fairy tales, a magic cap which makes the wearer invisible) against his will: which is tantamount to saying: &quot;If people don't bother about me, it's because nobody is seeing me - seeing ''me''. I'm just a piece of furniture in their eyes.&quot; … Newcomers in a strange world suffer this fate especially, what's more in a doubly unpleasant way: first because no one takes any notice of them since they don't belong, i.e. they're ''nobodies'', yet at the same time they're conspicuous, in the way, a nuisance, desperately conscious of being just awkward lumps of furniture.
** ''Broken Lights'' Diaries 1957-59

[[File:Marianne Stokes St Elizabeth of Hungary Spinning for the Poor.jpg|thumb|right|[[w:Elizabeth of Hungary|Elizabeth of Hungary]] was exactly the same age as Little Thérèse when she died. What a difference! Elizabeth's lightning directness, impulsive, unselfconscious, beside the perpetual reflection of Thérèse, for ever bent over her interior life, straining to catch every breath, every changing shade of her ego. (Diaries 1957-59) ]]

* In the Napoleonic Museum in [[w:Arenenberg|Arenenberg]] I was rather impressed just how richly clad in the costume of Antiquity the [[w:First French Empire|First Empire]] in fact was - dressed up even comically with its laurels and eagles and togas. Return to Rome wherever you look, though of course not to the ''Holy'' Roman Empire - to Caesar's Rome. But the [[w:French Revolution|French Revolution]] itself had fallen back on more or less genuine or imaginary classical models: Brutus and [[w:Tiberius Gracchus|Tiberius Gracchus]] and [[w:Gaius Gracchus|Gaius Gracchus]], the  Gracchi, consuls and Roman virtues - even these revolutionaries couldn't resolve to start from scratch with something really new.
** ''Broken Lights''  Diaries 1957-59.

*St Thomas had lots to say about the ''mystical'' quality of ''createdness''. For him ''the creature'' is truly a mystery, a mystical reality. Sometimes this strikes me so forcibly that I  shrink from crushing a gnat or plucking a blade of grass - how ''dare'' one do such a thing, except of necessity? Nothing sentimental about this - not even compassion at having to hurt things - simply awe before their Maker. I'd never dare to tear up someone else's sketch or manuscript without first asking the author's permission - unless, of course, he had asked me to do so.
** ''Broken Lights''  Letters 1951-59.

* Trochu's ''Vianney'' book makes me shudder. Positively frightening - and the saint too. The first time I read it I was quite horrified...Actually he is a second [[w:Simeon Stylites|Simeon Stylites]] -  and how hard and stern he is - and not only against himself: he would excommunicate his parishioners if they even once went dancing or drinking - like the most rigorous Puritan..For him sin involved personal, direct single combat with Satan...But there's no glove to [[w:Curé d'Ars|Vianney]]'s peasant fist. He's really gruesome.
** ''Broken Lights'' Letters 1951-59.

* I'm afraid I do believe that all earthly love can die - since man is mortal, why not also his most human feature? - and for me pretensions such as ''love that dies was never love'', etc. belong to schoolgirls' albums.
** ''Broken Lights'' Letters 1951-59.

* In private one can well be a cat that walks by itself, and without roots in any specific soil: but in the great battle for the Kingdom of God it seems to me one ought to belong to some brotherhood.
** ''Broken Lights'' Letters 1951-59.

* I'm reading ''[[w:Kristin Lavransdatter|Kristin Lavransdatter]]'' again - it's one of the greatest poetic books, and the most powerful portrayal of medieval Christendom I know....I must admit that it makes me cry every time - because it's so real, so true , reaching to the depths of human nature, touching one to the quick.
** ''Broken Lights'' Letters 1951-59.

* [[w:Léon Bloy|Léon Bloy]], despite his many impressive qualities..what a hater he was! - wild and implacable, and what power of abuse! Strange don't you think that [[Ernst Jünger]] should comment at length in his war-diaries how irresistibly Bloy reminded him of Hitler in his paroxysms of rage and his foul and ribald tongue?..Yet Bloy was undoubtedly a man with great gifts of vision and perception, and charity, too - even in the midst of his orgies of hatred. And much of what he writes about [[w:Our Lady of La Salette|Our Lady of La Salette]] in his La Salette book is very fine and often goes straight to one's heart...
** ''Broken Lights'' Letters 1951-59.

* another article by [[w:Karl Rahner|Karl Rahner]] in ''Geist und Leben'' - What he reveals is an issue of the utmost importance: how essential it is for the Christian to recognize a ''plural'', numinous universe, made up of angels, saints, the dead and demons - which are not ''the same'' as God...that if this ''created numinous plurality'' ceases to be understood as a reality, the very concept of God will be disfigured and distorted..to deny all such powers and figures is just as false, just as ominous as to succomb to them.
** ''Broken Lights'' Letters 1951-59

* the posthumous visibility of the saints is a puzzling phenomenon indeed, and varies enormously.&lt;br&gt;Little Thérèse emerged from complete obscurity to world-wide publicity; but [[w:Vincent Ferrer|Vincent Ferrer]], for instance, one of the most prominent, most spectacular and dramatic saints in the whole history of the Church seems barely to have outlived his own lifetime. Today he's as good as forgotten.
** ''Broken Lights'' Letters 1951-59.

* For his ''Spiritual'' Church [[w:Joachim of Fiore|Joachim of Fiore]] foresaw the continuance of the Papacy (much modified), but the bishops were to disappear. If I think at all of ''the Church to come'', then I hope and pray above all for a revival, indeed resurrection of the episcopal office. To my mind it is still a prisoner of its almost thousand-year long disastrous fusion with temporal power. Strange - only a few years ago I thought the [[w:Emperor Otto I|Emperor Otto I]] just marvellous and was full of admiration for his genius in raising the bishops to ''Reichsfürsten'' - princes of the realm - thus securing an unshakeable foundation for his Empire. Politically it was a brilliant decision...Yet I can imagine no way in which a mortal enemy of the Church in all craft and cunning could have fastened a worse fate upon her...For how often was their charismatic office as ''pastors'' overshadowed, indeed frequently rendered impossible, by their ''temporal'' mission and worldly achievements..
** ''Broken Lights'' Letters 1951-59.

* I've just finished a (for me) very important book about the parents ([[w:Blessed Louis Martin|Louis Martin]] and [[w:Blessed Marie-Azélie Guérin|Zélie Martin]]) of the Little Flower..It confirms my thesis 100 per cent: that everything claimed by her super-heralds as her direct inspiration, her unique originality, in fact stemmed from inheritance, upbringing and repetition...Most interesting for me is the recognition how alien and remote this ''bourgeois'' piety of the late nineteenth century has become, even for cultivated contemporary Catholic writers - a veritable ''terra incognita''; otherwise this so wide-spread legend of Thérèse's uniqueness could never have grown up.
** ''Broken Lights'' (Letters 1951-59).

* I just revelled in that High Mass at [[w:Beuron Archabbey|Beuron Abbey]] on ''[[w:All Saints' Day|All Saints' Day]]''..Of course it's a ''spectacle'', but that's just what makes sense, the very same sense as monasticism in general...ritual as the reflection of glory. How marvellously impersonal it is - the strict anonymity of the monks, even more impressive when they raise their hoods. They are just figures and voices. What an achievement to divest oneself of everything private, individual, to enact this holy drama day after day, indifferent to one's personal mood, representing all of us simply as ''mouth of the Church''.
** ''Broken Lights'' Letters 1951-59.

* Take my own case: from nursery days we were taught to believe the worst of people...We were drilled, in principle and emphatically, never to believe anyone, never to trust anyone,  all people are liars, people are always hypocrites, especially if they are nice to you, ''everyone can be bought'', etc..Scandal was the sole topic of conversation in Stockau: 'Just to show you what the world is really like.'...I was fiercely determined to have no illusions, to confront even the ugliest reality face to face. I would smuggle ''The History of Prostitution'' and such-like books out of the library, disclosures of financial scandals I couldn't understand, books on the crimes of colonial government...And what was the result? I believed every word people told me, they could lie and swindle and make up whatever they liked...Could it be that my insatiable and often so incautious hunger for people who are good, pure, beautiful and holy is in fact the direct result of that early training to despise people?
** ''Broken Lights'' Letters 1951-59.

* I'm reading a very quaint American book, ''The Power of Positive Thinking'' , written, I'd suppose, by a sectarian minister, presumably of Methodist dye. ([[w:Norman Vincent Peale|Norman Vincent Peale]])..He's full of stories of prayers heard - and extols the power of prayer..&quot;Before leaving for an important business conference I brace myself with texts like 'If God be for us, who can be against us?'...Then I stalk into the conference room, sure of my victory, and carry off the most marvellous deal..&quot;  This, in essence is the burden of the whole book. That's what people call Christian optimism. But it's wasted on us - we've been spoilt for this sort of thing...But isn't it rather self suggestion than authentic religious impulse? It doesn't seem to have dawned on him that suffering, disappointment, defeat or loss might also have some point too, or that God's designs could sometimes be hidden...
** ''Broken Lights'' Letters 1951-59.

* I'm reading a biography of [[w:Jean-Baptiste de la Salle|St John Baptist de la Salle]] - Extraordinary what educational insights and experiments have existed already - and what has been forgotten!. That reformatory, for instance, which he founded on the most amazing principles somewhere around 1680...The young delinquents were detained in solitary confinement to begin with, being promoted later..to community life..But in their single cells they were given flowers and plants to cultivate and singing birds to breed! The prisoners took their meals together with the Brothers, and each of the boys in solitary confinement was entrusted to one particular Brother...The [[w:Jansenists|Jansenists]] were bitter opponents of the Brothers, for in all his schools de la Salle laid great stress on frequent Communion..They did their best to oppose him personally and to hinder his work. The [[w:French Revolution|French Revolution]] wrecked his Institute, some of the Brothers were executed, others emigrated.
** ''Broken Lights'' Letters 1951-59.

* the protective, healing silence of forgiveness is just as much part of [[w:confession|confession]] as its quality of judgment - stressed so much more. For in confession sin is not so much subjected to the ''light'' of the word, of judicial sentence, as received into the darkness of merciful, secret acceptance, sunk into divine oblivion.
** ''Broken Lights'' Letters p. 361.

* A happy childhood means - or ought to mean - that one's first experience of the world is a ''true'' experience - not yet comprehensive, of course, yet comprehending the prime reality, so that it becomes an experience of an essential order which thenceforward will serve  as  a basis of comparison, in whose light all future falsification, all disorder, will be recognised as wrong and invalid. A happy childhood means above all a loved child. Because [[w:Thérèse of Lisieux|Thérèse]]  was a happy child, her beginnings could contain perfection. Because she was a loved child, she received from the beginning the knowledge that others must struggle towards so consciously, with such difficulty, by painfully strenuous detours: the simple truth that  to so many of us seems the most incredible and amazing lesson of religion: ''that we can be loved without having deserved it'': that grace comes first..It is bliss simply to be someone's child, a child of a father, of a mother, living, moving and having its being in a love which is unmerited, unmeritable , anticipatory, unconditional and immutable. On this basic mystery and reality Thérèse's  childhood was built. This was the source of her subsequent doctrine of the ''way of spiritual childhood''.
** ''The Hidden Face'' p. 48-49.

* Anyone who really carries out this existence [ of the [[w:Discalced Carmellite|Discalced Carmelites]] ] in spirit and letter must see it as a foretaste of death, of the radical and irrevocable parting from all things that make life rich, sweet and attractive. It is a venturing into death in the hope of receiving a new, mysterious life from the hand of the Lord.
** ''[[w:The Hidden Face (book)|The Hidden Face]]'' p. 142.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Görres, Ida Friederike}}
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from Austria]]
[[Category:1901 births]]
[[Category:1971 deaths]]
[[Category:Catholics from Austria]]
[[Category:Women authors from Austria]]</text>
      <sha1>rwmuuearq51fjju9rcv0uaq15fhy5s3</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Ingeborg Refling Hagen</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>117653</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943919</id>
      <parentid>3627568</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:48:19Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>−[[Category:Women from Norway]]; ±[[Category:Women authors]]→[[Category:Women authors from Norway]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <origin>3943919</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1798" sha1="qwvz0rpxto2mns6g7f0ghcux47pthrf" xml:space="preserve">{{refimprove}}
[[File:Ingeborgreflinghagen.jpg|thumb|]]
'''[[w:Ingeborg Refling Hagen|Ingeborg Refling Hagen]]''' ([[19 December]] [[1895]] – [[30 November]] [[1989]]) was a Norwegian author and teacher.

== Quotes ==
[[File:IngeborgreflinghagenbyMikkelsen.JPG|thumb|]]
=== ''Memoirs'' ===

* ...[T]hat lunatic monster...
** On [[Adolf Hitler]], volume II

* She was so open and frank... She made space around her, if we just behaved... Everybody seemed to trust this woman and gathered gladly around her.
** On [[Eleanor Roosevelt]], volume III

* He was pretty. His eyes were kind and young. One had to wonder whether he was fourteen years old, or a thousand, being so smooth and untouched. A little boy peered out of the man's face. He was funny... I was bewildered... a man, responsible for the life and death of thousands, and yet there was no trace on him? One could be frightened of less, and yet so harmlessly innocent? Yes, innocent was the word... I knew I would remember this meeting the rest of my life, because I had never before met an emptyness like this.
** On [[Dwight Eisenhower]], volume III

* This face seemed full of suffering, despair, confusion, so that I became uneasy again... It seemed like tiredness and defeatism spread from him to everyone close by.
** On [[w:Jan Masaryk|Jan Masaryk]], volume III

* [Capitalism]... is a great [[w:troll|troll]]. It settles in a society, and then eats away silently. Eats more and more freedom, more humanity, more human rights, more ability to speak...
** Translated from her memoirs, volume III

== External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}} 

{{DEFAULTSORT:Hagen, Ingeborg Refling}}
[[Category:Poets from Norway]]
[[Category:1989 deaths]]
[[Category:Memoirists]]
[[Category:Women authors from Norway]]
[[Category:1895 births]]</text>
      <sha1>qwvz0rpxto2mns6g7f0ghcux47pthrf</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Last words in Harry Potter media</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>117748</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944093</id>
      <parentid>3923043</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T00:02:43Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Andrybak</username>
        <id>1939167</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Novels */ copyedit</comment>
      <origin>3944093</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="23768" sha1="4vn88o9o1f3u6pg6les4xxci0olzj2j" xml:space="preserve">{{DISPLAYTITLE:Last words in ''Harry Potter'' media}}
{{otherusesof|Harry Potter|Harry Potter}}
The numerous deaths across all different media in the '''''[[Harry Potter]]''''' universe (originally created by [[J. K. Rowling|J.K. Rowling]]) have yielded many memorable '''last words'''.

==Novels==
*'''Master-I cannot hold him-my hands! My hands!'''
** Who: Quirinus Quirrell
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone]]''
** Note: Character was being burned by Harry's mystic protection from Lord Voldemort, who had fused into Quirrell's body. Voldemort fled, leaving Quirrell to succumb to his wounds.

*'''Just you and me, Harry Potter. You and me.'''
** Who: Tom Riddle's memory
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets]]''

*'''Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! I'll hold him off!'''
**Who: James Potter
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban]]''
**Notes: James, Harry's father, died trying to defend his wife and young child before Lord Voldemort when Harry was a baby.

*'''Not Harry! Please...have mercy...have mercy...Not Harry! ''Not Harry!'' Please-I'll do anything!'''
**Who: Lily Potter
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban]]''
**Notes: Harry's mother was killed by Voldemort while shouting pleas to protect him shortly after her husband's death. This would later translate into a powerful magical protection.

*'''Is that right? Lord, is it? Well, I don't think much of your manners, My Lord. Turn 'round and face me like a man, why don't you?'''
**Who: Frank Bryce
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire]]''
**Note: Character had been eavesdropping on Lord Voldemort's plans, and said this after Voldemort introduced himself. At Frank's challenge, Voldemort promptly turned around and killed him.

*'''I...escaped...must warn...must tell...see Dumbledore...my fault...all my fault...Bertha...dead...all my fault...my son...my fault...tell Dumbledore...Harry Potter...the Dark Lord...stronger...Harry Potter...'''
** Who: Barty Crouch, Sr.
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire]]''

*'''Dunno. Wands out, do you reckon?'''
** Who: Cedric Diggory
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire]]''
** Note: Said before he is killed by Wormtail on Lord Voldemort's order.

*'''Turned it into a Portkey. My master's plan worked. He is returned to power and I will be honoured by him beyond the dreams of wizards and witches.'''
** Who: Barty Crouch, Jr.
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire]]''
** Note: Last words spoken before Crouch's soul is devoured by a Dementor, rendering him permanently catatonic.

*'''Come on, you can do better than that!'''
** Who: Sirius Black
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix]]''
** Note: Was said to Bellatrix Lestrange just after she fired a curse at him and missed. Bellatrix fired again, knocking him dead through a 'veil' in the Ministry of Magic.

*'''He'll kill me for losing the ring.'''
** Who: Morfin Gaunt
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince]]''

*'''I hope he looks like his papa.'''
** Who: Merope Gaunt
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince]]''

*'''Severus...please...'''
** Who: [[w:Albus Dumbledore|Albus Dumbledore]]
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince]]''
** Note: Said to [[w:Severus Snape|Severus Snape]], who then killed him. In ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows]]'', it was revealed that Dumbledore was actually pleading with Snape to kill him and not to spare him, as Harry presumed, as Dumbledore was at the time dying, as a result of being cursed by a magic ring that belonged to Voldemort.

*'''Severus...please...please...'''
** Who: Charity Burbage
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows]]''
** Note: Voldemort has kidnapped the Muggle-friendly professor to make an example of her, and Voldemort later killed her. She is then presumably fed to Nagini, Voldemort's snake. Her last words are notably similar to Dumbledore's.

*'''Good luck, everyone! See you all in about an hour at the Burrow. On the count of three. One...two...THREE!'''
** Who: Alastor &quot;Mad-Eye&quot; Moody
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows]]''
** Note: Says this before flying up into the sky with the rest of the Order of the Phoenix, who help escort Harry from Privet Drive. Gets killed by Voldemort when Mundungus Fletcher (disguised as Harry) panics and Disapparates.

*'''I...regret your attitude. You seem to think that the Ministry does not desire what you-what Dumbledore-desired. We ought to be working together.'''
** Who: Rufus Scrimgeour
**Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows]]''
**Note: Says this to Harry after having an intense argument when Harry criticized Scrimgeour's ways of scrutinizing Dumbledore, when Harry, Ron and Hermione were given three objects left in Dumbledore's will. When Mr. and Mrs. Weasley came to break up the fight, Scrimgeour apologizes for the argument and leaves the Burrow. He's later mentioned at Bill and Fleur's wedding that he had been killed (presumably by Voldemort), leading the Ministry of Magic to fall in Voldemort's hands.

*'''He move! I know not, I know not!'''
**Who: Unnamed German speaking woman at Gregorovitch's former residence.
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows]]''
**Note: Harry has a vision of Voldemort entering this woman's home. Voldemort demands to know where wandmaker, Gregorovitch, is, but the woman says in German that she does not know, and says he does not live there. Voldemort kills her with a curse.

*'''I do not know, I never knew, a young man-no-please-PLEASE!'''
** Who: Gregorovitch
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows]]''
** Note: Voldemort is searching for the Elder Wand, and believes Gregorovitch knows who stole it and where it is (although he does not know the thief's identity). After interrogating him and getting no response, he finally kills him.

*'''Kill me, then, Voldemort! You will not win, you cannot win! The wand will never, ever be yours!'''
** Who: Gellert Grindelwald
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows]]''
** Note: Voldemort has tracked down Grindelwald at Nurmengard, the prison he himself had built for his enemies, believing he can lead him to the Elder Wand. At that moment, Bellatrix Lestrange summons him to the Malfoy Manor because they have Harry, and he kills Grindelwald in exasperation.

*'''Stand back. Stand away from the door. I am coming in.'''
** Who: Peter &quot;Wormtail&quot; Pettigrew
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows]]''
** Note: Pettigrew goes down to the dungeon where Harry, Ron, Luna and others are kept to check on them. They overpower him, and Harry reminds him of his debt to him for saving his life in ''Prisoner of Azkaban.'' Wormtail gives in, and the enchanted hand Voldemort made for him immediately strangles him to death for his betrayal.

*'''Harry...Potter...'''
** Who: Dobby
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows]]''
** Note: Spoken to Harry as the elf died of a knife wound inflicted by Bellatrix Lestrange.

*'''What the Devil are all you doing down here?! Thieves! COME QUICK!'''
** Who: Bogrod
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows]]''

*'''Thieves! Thieves! Help! Thieves!'''
** Who: Griphook
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows]]''
** Notes: Pretends to say this to the guards of Gringotts after he betrays Harry, Ron and Hermione and stealing the sword. He is later killed by Voldemort when the latter goes on a rage attack.

*'''A...! s-small golden c-cup, m-my Lord...'''
**Who: Unidentified goblin killed by Voldemort
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows]]''
**Note: After Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger robbed Gringotts, the goblin was sent to Lord Voldemort to tell him what was stolen. When the goblin said it was a small golden cup, Voldemort realized that it was his horcrux and killed goblin in rage.

*'''Why doesn't Ginny stay here, then at least she'll be on the scene and know what's going on, but she won't be in the middle of the fighting.'''
**Who: Remus Lupin
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows]]''
**Note: As Hogwarts is preparing for battle, and Mrs. Weasley tells Ginny that she's underage, Lupin convinces Mrs. Weasley to let Ginny stay on the grounds but not let her be part of the fighting. Lupin is later killed by Antonin Dolohov during the battle.

*'''Have you seen Remus?'''
**Who: Nymphadora Tonks
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows]]''
**Note: Tonks is asking Aberforth where Lupin had gone during the Battle of Hogwarts and Ginny tries to assure Tonks that Lupin is alright. Tonks is then killed by Bellatrix Lestrange.

*'''Like it hot, scum?'''
** Who: Vincent Crabbe
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows]]''
** Note: In the Room of Requirement, Crabbe and Gregory Goyle attempt to kill Ron, Hermione and Harry, and Crabbe uses a spell that produces strong, magical fire (Fiendfyre). Harry attempts to rescue everyone in question, but they escape and the room seals itself with Crabbe still inside.

*'''You actually are joking, Perce...I don't think I've heard you joke since you were-'''
** Who: Fred Weasley
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows]]''
** Note: Fred is addressing his older brother, Percy, who had recently rejoined the good side, and is killed in a sudden attack by the Death Eaters as they lay siege to Hogwarts.

*'''Look...at...me...'''
** Who: Severus Snape
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows]]''
** Note: Voldemort has set his snake, Nagini, upon Snape, and he bleeds to death, but not before giving Harry an essential memory to explain his past and his true allegiance. He looks into Harry's eyes, which are just like his mother Lily's, whom Snape loved, before dying.

*'''You weren't.'''
** Who: Harry Potter
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows]]''
**Note: Harry realizes that to render Voldemort mortal, he must die as to destroy the Horcrux Voldemort inadvertently planted inside of him upon trying to kill him as an infant. Voldemort at first believes Harry will not respond to his call of offering himself to stop the war around then from killing more of his allies, stating out loud that it seems he 'was mistaken...' when Harry loudly declares this upon arriving. Voldemort does indeed hit him with the killing curse, but Harry is kept alive due to only the Horcrux being destroyed by the curse and comes back to life shortly after.

*'''What will happen to your children once I've killed you? When Mummy's gone the same way as Freddie?'''
** Who: Bellatrix Lestrange
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows]]''
** Note: Bellatrix is taunting Mrs. Weasley, whose son Fred has just been killed. Mrs. Weasley shouts back that Bellatrix will &quot;never touch her children again&quot; and kills her with a spell.

*'''''Avada Kedavra!'''''
** Who: Tom &quot;Lord Voldemort&quot; Marvolo Riddle
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows]]''
** Note: He is attempting yet again to kill Harry Potter with the Killing Curse, which rebounds upon him and kills him once and for all, now that his Horcruxes have been destroyed.

==Films==
===''Harry Potter'' octalogy===
*'''What is this magic?!'''
**Who: Quirinus Quirrell
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (film)|Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone]]''
**Note: Character was trying to kill Harry, but could not hurt him due to a mystical protection surrounding him. When Harry touches his face, the mystical protection causes Quirrell's face and body to turn to stone and then crumble to dust, killing him.

*'''What are you doing? Stop! NO!'''
**Who: The Horcrux in Tom Riddle's Diary
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (film)|Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets]]''
**Note; said when Harry raise a Basilisk fang to impale his diary. Harry does so, destroying the Horcrux and ripping Tom Riddle apart in bright lights.

*'''Bloody kids.'''
**Who: Frank Bryce
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (film)|Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire]]''
**Note: He says this when he sees lights go on in the window of the Riddle house. He goes inside the house to investigate and hears a conversation among Lord Voldemort, Peter Pettigrew, and Barty Crouch Jr. Nagini the snake finds Bryce and goes to tell Voldemort, who kills Bryce with the Killing Curse.

*'''I'm sure your parents would be very proud of you today.'''
**Who: Barty Crouch, Sr.
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (film)|Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire]]''
**Note: Said to Harry Potter. Sometime later, Harry and his friends go into the woods with Hagrid, where Harry finds Crouch dead at the hands of his son, Barty Crouch Jr. (in disguise as Alastor Moody). His actual final words are unclear since he is killed off screen, these just being the final words he spoke on camera.

*'''Who are you? What do you want?!'''
**Who: Cedric Diggory
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (film)|Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire]]''
**Note: He says this upon seeing Peter Pettigrew. After he says this, a voice says, &quot;Kill the spare&quot;, followed by Pettigrew killing Cedric with the Killing Curse.

*'''I'll be welcomed back like a hero!'''
**Who: Barty Crouch, Jr.
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (film)|Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire]]''
**Note: Last words spoken in the film. A deleted scene explained that he had suffered the Dementor's Kiss off-screen, effectively killing Crouch.

*'''Nice one, James!'''
**Who: Sirius Black
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (film)|Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix]]''
**Note: Said to Harry, who looks a lot like his father James, after he knocked out a Death Eater, having already knocked out a follower of Voldemort. Immediately afterward, Bellatrix Lestrange appears and kills him with ''Avada Kedavra''.

*'''Severus...please.'''
**Who: Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore
**Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (film)|Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince]]''
**Note: Said to Severus Snape, begging him to kill him. It's later revealed that Dumbledore was dying, as a consequence of trying to put on a magic ring that belonged to Voldemort.

*'''Severus...Severus, please! We're friends...'''
**Who: Charity Burbage
**Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1]]''
**Note: Said to Snape before being killed by Voldemort and eaten by Nagini.

*'''On the count of three! One! Two! Three!'''
**Who: Alastor &quot;Mad-Eye&quot; Moody
**Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1]]''
**Note; Said before taking off for The Burrow. He says nothing more before later being killed by Voldemort after Mundungus Fletcher fled. Even if he nearly impossibly survived the curse, the several thousand foot drop ensured his death.

*'''It was a boy. It was he who took it. I never saw it again. I swear on my life.'''
**Who: Gregorovitch
**Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1]]''
**Note: Character is confronted by Voldemort, who demands to know where the Elder Wand is. Gregorovitch speaks this line, to which Voldemort responds, &quot;I believe you&quot; and kills him with ''Avada Kedavra''.

*'''Ow.'''
**Who: Wormtail
**Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1]]''
**Note: Character says this after being hit with an apparently painful magic attack by Dobby. Although it's debatable whether this attack killed him as it just as easily could have stunned him, his absence in Part 2 suggests that either Dobby's attack killed him, or Voldemort did the next time he arrived, or he lived in Part 2, but spent the rest of his life in Azkaban.

*'''Such a beautiful place, to be with friends. Dobby is happy to be with his friend, Harry Potter.'''
**Who: Dobby
**Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1]]''
**Note: Character says this speech after being stabbed with a dagger thrown by Bellatrix. He then dies of his injury.

*'''Avada Kedavra!'''
**Who: Gregory Goyle
**Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2]]''
**Notes: Said in an attempt to kill Hermione Granger. Dies shortly after upon falling into the fire he ignites in the Room of Requirement in an attempt to kill the trio.

*'''My Lord?!'''
**Who: Pius Thicknesse
**Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2]]''
**Notes: Says this to Voldemort, who, frustrated and furious with the recent destruction of a Horcrux and his growing vulnerability, kills him with the killing curse out of sheer frustration.

*'''It is the quality of ones convictions that determines success, not the number of followers.''' ''(Kingsley: &quot;Who said that?&quot;)'' '''Me.'''
*'''It's Teddy who needs you.'''
**Who: Remus Lupin
**Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2]]''
**Notes: The first line is said as an encouraging response to Kingsley Shacklebolt's request for reinforcements. The second line is from a deleted scene, where Lupin finds his wife has come to fight the Battle of Hogwarts with him. These are the last words he utters before he is killed in the ensuing battle.

*'''He'll sleep 'til dawn, and snore like his father. It's you that needs me tonight.'''
**Who: Nymphadora Tonks-Lupin
**Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2]]''
**Notes: Said in a deleted scene, where she comes to aid her husband in the Battle of Hogwarts. These are the last words she utters before she is killed in the ensuing battle.

*''[George: &quot;You okay, Freddie?&quot;]'' '''Yeah.''' ''[George: &quot;Me too.&quot;]''
**Who: Fred Weasley.
**Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2]]''
**Notes: Said in response to his brother George asking him if he was okay right before the Battle of Hogwarts begins. These are the last words he utters before he is killed in the ensuing battle.

*'''Take it to the pensieve. Look at me. You have your mother's eyes.'''
**Who: Severus Snape
**Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2]]''
**Notes: Voldemort kills Snape because he believes Snape is the true master of the Elder Wand, and thus he must kill Snape to gain its power. He slashes Snape's throat with Sectemsempra, and then has Nagini finish Snape. After Voldemort and Nagini leave, Harry enters with his friends. Snape appears to be crying, but he is actually releasing his memories. Harry puts them in a flask. After he does so, Snape says this line and dies.

*'''Harry. Harry, you are loved. You are so loved. Harry, Mama loves you. Dada loves you. Harry, be safe. Be strong.'''
**Who: Lily Potter
** Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2]]''
**Note: Character sacrificed herself for her son Harry Potter, dying at the hands of Voldemort, who was trying to kill Harry.

*'''No! No, come back! Lucius! Come back! Come back and fight! Come back!'''
**Who: Bellatrix Lestrange
**Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2]]''
**Notes: She yells this line to Lucius Malfoy trying to make him join the battle, but he flees with his wife and son. Bellatrix later fights Molly Weasley during the battle, but she is eventually killed by Molly after a brief duel with nothing, but a few laughs spoken.

*'''I killed Snape!'''
**Who: Lord Voldemort
**Source: ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2]]''
**Notes: Voldemort says this line to Harry when they met atop Hogwarts Clock Tower and the line itself is in reference to Harry after he claims the Elder Wand won't work for him because he didn't kill its proper master (Voldemort assumed it was Snape). They then enter a long sequence of smoke teleportation, ending with a final duel in the Entrance Courtyard. After a brief wand clash, he is finally killed after the Wand refuses to kill its real master, Harry, and backfires his curse onto him which turned him into ash. The casting of his final curse had the audio sucked out in the film but his lack of mouth movement implies it was a silent curse.

===''Fantastic Beasts'' series===
*'''...and it's true we have made some progress, but there is no reward for idleness. So just as the odious saloons have been banished...so now the pool halls, and these private parlours...'''
**Who: Senator Henry Shaw, Jr.
**Source: ''[[Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them]]''
**Just before he is attacked and killed by Credence Barebone's Obscurus.

*'''What is this?'''
**Who: Mary Lou Barebone
**Source: ''[[Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them]]''
**Said directly before she was killed by Credence Barebone's Obscurus after a belt she beat him with slides away from her.

==Video games==
*'''Master, you...you're not strong enough.'''
**Who: Quirinus Quirrell
**Source: ''Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone: The Game''

*'''Speak to me, Slytherin, greatest of the Hogwarts Four!'''
**Who: Tom Riddle's memory
**Source: ''Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: The Game''

*'''I'm not leaving you.'''
**Who: Cedric Diggory
**Source: ''Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: The Game''

*'''You've proved you can take on children, Malfoy. Care to fight like a man?!'''
**Who: Sirius Black
**Source: ''Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: The Game''

*'''Such a beautiful night...to be with friends. Dobby is happy...to be with his friend...Harry Potter...'''
**Who: Dobby
**Source: ''Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1: The Game''

*'''I'll get you, Potter! You have no idea what I've learnt!'''
**Who: Gregory Goyle
**Source: ''Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2: The Game''

*'''Take them...take my memories. You have your mother's eyes...'''
**Who: Severus Snape
**Source: ''Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2: The Game''

*'''You should get off your feet more!'''
**Who: Bellatrix Lestrange
**Source: ''Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2: The Game''
**Note: Character is mocking her opponent, Molly Weasley, in a duel to the death

==Stage plays==
*'''I'm scared.'''
**Who: Ron Weasley
**Source: ''Harry Potter and the Cursed Child''
**Note: In an alternate timeline created by Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy's interference at the 1995 Triwizard Tournament, Lord Voldemort successfully wins the Battle of Hogwarts and takes over the Wizarding World. Exposed as a member of a resistance movement, Ron is given the Dementor's Kiss and rendered permanently catatonic.

*'''Kiss me.'''
**Who: Hermione Granger
**Source: ''Harry Potter and the Cursed Child''
**Note: In an alternate timeline created by Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy's interference at the 1995 Triwizard Tournament, Lord Voldemort successfully wins the Battle of Hogwarts and takes over the Wizarding World. Exposed as a member of a resistance movement, Hermione is given the Dementor's Kiss and rendered permanently catatonic, while embracing her lover, Ron Weasley.

*'''Tell Albus — tell Albus Severus — I'm proud he carries my name. Now go. Go.'''
**Who: Severus Snape
**Source: ''Harry Potter and the Cursed Child''
**Note: In an alternate timeline created by Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy's interference at the 1995 Triwizard Tournament, Lord Voldemort successfully wins the Battle of Hogwarts and takes over the Wizarding World. Exposed as a member of a resistance movement, Snape is given the Dementor's Kiss and rendered permanently catatonic.

*'''What's happening?'''
**Who: Craig Bowker, Jr.
**Source: ''Harry Potter and the Cursed Child''
**Note: Killed by Delphini Riddle with the Killing Curse when he stumbled on her attacker Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy.

{{Harry Potter}}
[[Category:Fictional last words|Harry Potter]]
[[Category:Harry Potter]]</text>
      <sha1>4vn88o9o1f3u6pg6les4xxci0olzj2j</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Adventure Time</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>117839</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943875</id>
      <parentid>3943721</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:20:53Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30410-75</username>
        <id>3325553</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943875</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3547" sha1="p73gpiguyuetldp2hqbr3lasaf4n96h" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Adventure Time (season 1)|1]] [[Adventure Time (season 2)|2]] [[Adventure Time (season 3)|3]] [[Adventure Time (season 4)|4]] [[Adventure Time (season 5)|5]] [[Adventure Time (season 6)|6]] [[Adventure Time (season 7)|7]] [[Adventure Time (season 8)|8]] [[Adventure Time (season 9)|9]] [[Adventure Time (season 10)|10]] | [[Adventure Time: Distant Lands|Distant Lands]] | [[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake|Fionna and Cake]] | [[Adventure Time: Side Quests|Side Quests]] | [[Adventure Time|Main]]
----

{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Adventure Time|Adventure Time with Finn &amp; Jake ]]''''' (2010-2018), otherwise known as  '''''Adventure Time with Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure Time: Finn &amp; Jake''''' or '''''Adventure Time: Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''' or simply '''''Adventure with Finn &amp; Jake''''',  '''''Adventure with Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure: Finn &amp; Jake''''', '''''Adventure: Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure Time''''' or '''''Adventure''''', is an American animated television series on Cartoon Network. The series follows the adventures of a human boy named &quot;Finn&quot; (voiced by Jeremy Shada) and his best friends and adoptive brothers called Jake (voiced by John DiMaggio), who is a dog, and BMO (voiced by Niki Yang), who is a video game system, with magitechnological powers to change their shapes and sizes at their will.

==Pilot (2008)==
{{Main|Adventure Time (short film)}}

== Seasons ==
::[[Adventure Time (season 1)|Season 1]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 2)|Season 2]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 3)|Season 3]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 4)|Season 4]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 5)|Season 5]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 6)|Season 6]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 7)|Season 7]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 8)|Season 8]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 9)|Season 9]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 10)|Season 10]]

== Specials ==
::[[Adventure Time: Distant Lands]]

== Spin-off ==
::[[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake]]

== Catchphrases ==
:'''Finn''': Mathematical!

== Cast ==
* [[w:Jeremy Shada|Jeremy Shada]] – Finn the Human
* [[John DiMaggio]] – Jake the Dog
* [[w:Hynden Walch|Hynden Walch]] – Princess Bubblegum
* [[w:Niki Yang|Niki Yang]] – BMO/Lady Rainicorn
* [[Tom Kenny]] – Ice King
* [[w:Olivia Olson|Olivia Olson]] – Marceline the Vampire Queen
* [[w:Pendelton Ward|Pendelton Ward]] – Lumpy Space Princess
* [[Dee Bradley Baker]] – Cinnamon Bun
* Polly Lou Livingston – Tree Trunks
* [[w:Justin Roiland|Justin Roiland]] – Earl of Lemongrab
* [[w:Jessica DiCicco|Jessica DiCicco]] – Flame Princess
* [[w:Maria Bamford|Maria Bamford]] – Others

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|1305826|Adventure Time}}

{{Authority control}}

[[Category:Adventure Time]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Post-apocalyptic animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Cartoon Network original series]]
[[Category:Television series by Cartoon Network Studios]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about brothers]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about dogs]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about orphans]]</text>
      <sha1>p73gpiguyuetldp2hqbr3lasaf4n96h</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943876</id>
      <parentid>3943875</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:22:18Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30410-75</username>
        <id>3325553</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Cast */</comment>
      <origin>3943876</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3559" sha1="kfhl3cb1kjklr3ypldqe5q1irvb4gxs" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Adventure Time (season 1)|1]] [[Adventure Time (season 2)|2]] [[Adventure Time (season 3)|3]] [[Adventure Time (season 4)|4]] [[Adventure Time (season 5)|5]] [[Adventure Time (season 6)|6]] [[Adventure Time (season 7)|7]] [[Adventure Time (season 8)|8]] [[Adventure Time (season 9)|9]] [[Adventure Time (season 10)|10]] | [[Adventure Time: Distant Lands|Distant Lands]] | [[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake|Fionna and Cake]] | [[Adventure Time: Side Quests|Side Quests]] | [[Adventure Time|Main]]
----

{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Adventure Time|Adventure Time with Finn &amp; Jake ]]''''' (2010-2018), otherwise known as  '''''Adventure Time with Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure Time: Finn &amp; Jake''''' or '''''Adventure Time: Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''' or simply '''''Adventure with Finn &amp; Jake''''',  '''''Adventure with Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure: Finn &amp; Jake''''', '''''Adventure: Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure Time''''' or '''''Adventure''''', is an American animated television series on Cartoon Network. The series follows the adventures of a human boy named &quot;Finn&quot; (voiced by Jeremy Shada) and his best friends and adoptive brothers called Jake (voiced by John DiMaggio), who is a dog, and BMO (voiced by Niki Yang), who is a video game system, with magitechnological powers to change their shapes and sizes at their will.

==Pilot (2008)==
{{Main|Adventure Time (short film)}}

== Seasons ==
::[[Adventure Time (season 1)|Season 1]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 2)|Season 2]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 3)|Season 3]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 4)|Season 4]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 5)|Season 5]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 6)|Season 6]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 7)|Season 7]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 8)|Season 8]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 9)|Season 9]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 10)|Season 10]]

== Specials ==
::[[Adventure Time: Distant Lands]]

== Spin-off ==
::[[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake]]

== Catchphrases ==
:'''Finn''': Mathematical!

== Cast ==
* [[w:Jeremy Shada|Jeremy Shada]] – Finn the Human
* [[John DiMaggio]] – Jake the Dog
* [[w:Hynden Walch|Hynden Walch]] – Princess Bubblegum
* [[w:Niki Yang|Niki Yang]] – BMO Game System/Lady Rainicorn
* [[Tom Kenny]] – Ice King
* [[w:Olivia Olson|Olivia Olson]] – Marceline the Vampire Queen
* [[w:Pendelton Ward|Pendelton Ward]] – Lumpy Space Princess
* [[Dee Bradley Baker]] – Cinnamon Bun
* Polly Lou Livingston – Tree Trunks
* [[w:Justin Roiland|Justin Roiland]] – Earl of Lemongrab
* [[w:Jessica DiCicco|Jessica DiCicco]] – Flame Princess
* [[w:Maria Bamford|Maria Bamford]] – Others

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|1305826|Adventure Time}}

{{Authority control}}

[[Category:Adventure Time]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Post-apocalyptic animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Cartoon Network original series]]
[[Category:Television series by Cartoon Network Studios]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about brothers]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about dogs]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about orphans]]</text>
      <sha1>kfhl3cb1kjklr3ypldqe5q1irvb4gxs</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943877</id>
      <parentid>3943876</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:23:05Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30410-75</username>
        <id>3325553</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943877</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3563" sha1="9z5urp6kt6ojlmdgkdcm5hcxc9hokpo" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Adventure Time (season 1)|1]] [[Adventure Time (season 2)|2]] [[Adventure Time (season 3)|3]] [[Adventure Time (season 4)|4]] [[Adventure Time (season 5)|5]] [[Adventure Time (season 6)|6]] [[Adventure Time (season 7)|7]] [[Adventure Time (season 8)|8]] [[Adventure Time (season 9)|9]] [[Adventure Time (season 10)|10]] | [[Adventure Time: Distant Lands|Distant Lands]] | [[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake|Fionna and Cake]] | [[Adventure Time: Side Quests|Side Quests]] | [[Adventure Time|Main]]
----

{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Adventure Time|Adventure Time with Finn &amp; Jake ]]''''' (2010-2018), otherwise known as  '''''Adventure Time with Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure Time: Finn &amp; Jake''''' or '''''Adventure Time: Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''' or simply '''''Adventure with Finn &amp; Jake''''',  '''''Adventure with Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure: Finn &amp; Jake''''', '''''Adventure: Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure Time''''' or '''''Adventure''''', is an American animated television series on Cartoon Network. The series follows the adventures of a human boy named &quot;Finn&quot; (voiced by Jeremy Shada) and his best friends and adoptive brothers called Jake (voiced by John DiMaggio), who is a bulldog, and BMO (voiced by Niki Yang), who is a video game system, with magitechnological powers to change their shapes and sizes at their will.

==Pilot (2008)==
{{Main|Adventure Time (short film)}}

== Seasons ==
::[[Adventure Time (season 1)|Season 1]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 2)|Season 2]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 3)|Season 3]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 4)|Season 4]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 5)|Season 5]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 6)|Season 6]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 7)|Season 7]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 8)|Season 8]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 9)|Season 9]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 10)|Season 10]]

== Specials ==
::[[Adventure Time: Distant Lands]]

== Spin-off ==
::[[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake]]

== Catchphrases ==
:'''Finn''': Mathematical!

== Cast ==
* [[w:Jeremy Shada|Jeremy Shada]] – Finn the Human
* [[John DiMaggio]] – Jake the Dog
* [[w:Hynden Walch|Hynden Walch]] – Princess Bubblegum
* [[w:Niki Yang|Niki Yang]] – BMO Game System/Lady Rainicorn
* [[Tom Kenny]] – Ice King
* [[w:Olivia Olson|Olivia Olson]] – Marceline the Vampire Queen
* [[w:Pendelton Ward|Pendelton Ward]] – Lumpy Space Princess
* [[Dee Bradley Baker]] – Cinnamon Bun
* Polly Lou Livingston – Tree Trunks
* [[w:Justin Roiland|Justin Roiland]] – Earl of Lemongrab
* [[w:Jessica DiCicco|Jessica DiCicco]] – Flame Princess
* [[w:Maria Bamford|Maria Bamford]] – Others

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|1305826|Adventure Time}}

{{Authority control}}

[[Category:Adventure Time]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Post-apocalyptic animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Cartoon Network original series]]
[[Category:Television series by Cartoon Network Studios]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about brothers]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about dogs]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about orphans]]</text>
      <sha1>9z5urp6kt6ojlmdgkdcm5hcxc9hokpo</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943900</id>
      <parentid>3943877</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:38:26Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30410-75</username>
        <id>3325553</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943900</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3703" sha1="8ypkr59o41zp7f0jxfvsthc9o650mo5" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Adventure Time (season 1)|1]] [[Adventure Time (season 2)|2]] [[Adventure Time (season 3)|3]] [[Adventure Time (season 4)|4]] [[Adventure Time (season 5)|5]] [[Adventure Time (season 6)|6]] [[Adventure Time (season 7)|7]] [[Adventure Time (season 8)|8]] [[Adventure Time (season 9)|9]] [[Adventure Time (season 10)|10]] | [[Adventure Time: Distant Lands|Distant Lands]] | [[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake|Fionna and Cake]] | [[Adventure Time: Side Quests|Side Quests]] | [[Adventure Time|Main]]
----

{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Adventure Time|Adventure Time with Finn &amp; Jake ]]''''' (2010-2018), otherwise known as  '''''Adventure Time with Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure Time: Finn &amp; Jake''''' or '''''Adventure Time: Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''' or simply '''''AT with Finn &amp; Jake''''',  '''''AT with Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''AT: Finn &amp; Jake''''', '''''AT: Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure with Finn &amp; Jake''''',  '''''Adventure with Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure: Finn &amp; Jake''''', '''''Adventure: Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure Time''''', '''''AT'''' or '''''Adventure''''', is an American animated television series on Cartoon Network. The series follows the adventures of a human boy named &quot;Finn&quot; (voiced by Jeremy Shada) and his best friends and adoptive brothers called Jake (voiced by John DiMaggio), who is a bulldog, and BMO (voiced by Niki Yang), who is a video game system, with magitechnological powers to change their shapes and sizes at their will.

==Pilot (2008)==
{{Main|Adventure Time (short film)}}

== Seasons ==
::[[Adventure Time (season 1)|Season 1]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 2)|Season 2]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 3)|Season 3]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 4)|Season 4]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 5)|Season 5]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 6)|Season 6]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 7)|Season 7]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 8)|Season 8]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 9)|Season 9]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 10)|Season 10]]

== Specials ==
::[[Adventure Time: Distant Lands]]

== Spin-off ==
::[[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake]]

== Catchphrases ==
:'''Finn''': Mathematical!

== Cast ==
* [[w:Jeremy Shada|Jeremy Shada]] – Finn the Human
* [[John DiMaggio]] – Jake the Dog
* [[w:Hynden Walch|Hynden Walch]] – Princess Bubblegum
* [[w:Niki Yang|Niki Yang]] – BMO Game System/Lady Rainicorn
* [[Tom Kenny]] – Ice King
* [[w:Olivia Olson|Olivia Olson]] – Marceline the Vampire Queen
* [[w:Pendelton Ward|Pendelton Ward]] – Lumpy Space Princess
* [[Dee Bradley Baker]] – Cinnamon Bun
* Polly Lou Livingston – Tree Trunks
* [[w:Justin Roiland|Justin Roiland]] – Earl of Lemongrab
* [[w:Jessica DiCicco|Jessica DiCicco]] – Flame Princess
* [[w:Maria Bamford|Maria Bamford]] – Others

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|1305826|Adventure Time}}

{{Authority control}}

[[Category:Adventure Time]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Post-apocalyptic animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Cartoon Network original series]]
[[Category:Television series by Cartoon Network Studios]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about brothers]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about dogs]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about orphans]]</text>
      <sha1>8ypkr59o41zp7f0jxfvsthc9o650mo5</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943901</id>
      <parentid>3943900</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:38:42Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30410-75</username>
        <id>3325553</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943901</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3704" sha1="3gpgegkk45t1w2iodyj475npby57dn3" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Adventure Time (season 1)|1]] [[Adventure Time (season 2)|2]] [[Adventure Time (season 3)|3]] [[Adventure Time (season 4)|4]] [[Adventure Time (season 5)|5]] [[Adventure Time (season 6)|6]] [[Adventure Time (season 7)|7]] [[Adventure Time (season 8)|8]] [[Adventure Time (season 9)|9]] [[Adventure Time (season 10)|10]] | [[Adventure Time: Distant Lands|Distant Lands]] | [[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake|Fionna and Cake]] | [[Adventure Time: Side Quests|Side Quests]] | [[Adventure Time|Main]]
----

{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Adventure Time|Adventure Time with Finn &amp; Jake ]]''''' (2010-2018), otherwise known as  '''''Adventure Time with Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure Time: Finn &amp; Jake''''' or '''''Adventure Time: Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''' or simply '''''AT with Finn &amp; Jake''''',  '''''AT with Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''AT: Finn &amp; Jake''''', '''''AT: Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure with Finn &amp; Jake''''',  '''''Adventure with Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure: Finn &amp; Jake''''', '''''Adventure: Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure Time''''', '''''AT''''' or '''''Adventure''''', is an American animated television series on Cartoon Network. The series follows the adventures of a human boy named &quot;Finn&quot; (voiced by Jeremy Shada) and his best friends and adoptive brothers called Jake (voiced by John DiMaggio), who is a bulldog, and BMO (voiced by Niki Yang), who is a video game system, with magitechnological powers to change their shapes and sizes at their will.

==Pilot (2008)==
{{Main|Adventure Time (short film)}}

== Seasons ==
::[[Adventure Time (season 1)|Season 1]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 2)|Season 2]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 3)|Season 3]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 4)|Season 4]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 5)|Season 5]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 6)|Season 6]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 7)|Season 7]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 8)|Season 8]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 9)|Season 9]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 10)|Season 10]]

== Specials ==
::[[Adventure Time: Distant Lands]]

== Spin-off ==
::[[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake]]

== Catchphrases ==
:'''Finn''': Mathematical!

== Cast ==
* [[w:Jeremy Shada|Jeremy Shada]] – Finn the Human
* [[John DiMaggio]] – Jake the Dog
* [[w:Hynden Walch|Hynden Walch]] – Princess Bubblegum
* [[w:Niki Yang|Niki Yang]] – BMO Game System/Lady Rainicorn
* [[Tom Kenny]] – Ice King
* [[w:Olivia Olson|Olivia Olson]] – Marceline the Vampire Queen
* [[w:Pendelton Ward|Pendelton Ward]] – Lumpy Space Princess
* [[Dee Bradley Baker]] – Cinnamon Bun
* Polly Lou Livingston – Tree Trunks
* [[w:Justin Roiland|Justin Roiland]] – Earl of Lemongrab
* [[w:Jessica DiCicco|Jessica DiCicco]] – Flame Princess
* [[w:Maria Bamford|Maria Bamford]] – Others

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|1305826|Adventure Time}}

{{Authority control}}

[[Category:Adventure Time]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Post-apocalyptic animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Cartoon Network original series]]
[[Category:Television series by Cartoon Network Studios]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about brothers]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about dogs]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about orphans]]</text>
      <sha1>3gpgegkk45t1w2iodyj475npby57dn3</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944043</id>
      <parentid>3943901</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T21:36:52Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30410-75</username>
        <id>3325553</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Cast */</comment>
      <origin>3944043</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3708" sha1="59msxmf28nsnmuagxippjs4yfcfx8w7" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Adventure Time (season 1)|1]] [[Adventure Time (season 2)|2]] [[Adventure Time (season 3)|3]] [[Adventure Time (season 4)|4]] [[Adventure Time (season 5)|5]] [[Adventure Time (season 6)|6]] [[Adventure Time (season 7)|7]] [[Adventure Time (season 8)|8]] [[Adventure Time (season 9)|9]] [[Adventure Time (season 10)|10]] | [[Adventure Time: Distant Lands|Distant Lands]] | [[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake|Fionna and Cake]] | [[Adventure Time: Side Quests|Side Quests]] | [[Adventure Time|Main]]
----

{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Adventure Time|Adventure Time with Finn &amp; Jake ]]''''' (2010-2018), otherwise known as  '''''Adventure Time with Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure Time: Finn &amp; Jake''''' or '''''Adventure Time: Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''' or simply '''''AT with Finn &amp; Jake''''',  '''''AT with Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''AT: Finn &amp; Jake''''', '''''AT: Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure with Finn &amp; Jake''''',  '''''Adventure with Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure: Finn &amp; Jake''''', '''''Adventure: Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure Time''''', '''''AT''''' or '''''Adventure''''', is an American animated television series on Cartoon Network. The series follows the adventures of a human boy named &quot;Finn&quot; (voiced by Jeremy Shada) and his best friends and adoptive brothers called Jake (voiced by John DiMaggio), who is a bulldog, and BMO (voiced by Niki Yang), who is a video game system, with magitechnological powers to change their shapes and sizes at their will.

==Pilot (2008)==
{{Main|Adventure Time (short film)}}

== Seasons ==
::[[Adventure Time (season 1)|Season 1]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 2)|Season 2]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 3)|Season 3]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 4)|Season 4]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 5)|Season 5]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 6)|Season 6]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 7)|Season 7]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 8)|Season 8]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 9)|Season 9]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 10)|Season 10]]

== Specials ==
::[[Adventure Time: Distant Lands]]

== Spin-off ==
::[[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake]]

== Catchphrases ==
:'''Finn''': Mathematical!

== Cast ==
* [[w:Jeremy Shada|Jeremy Shada]] – Finn the Human Boy
* [[John DiMaggio]] – Jake the Dog
* [[w:Hynden Walch|Hynden Walch]] – Princess Bubblegum
* [[w:Niki Yang|Niki Yang]] – BMO Game System/Lady Rainicorn
* [[Tom Kenny]] – Ice King
* [[w:Olivia Olson|Olivia Olson]] – Marceline the Vampire Queen
* [[w:Pendelton Ward|Pendelton Ward]] – Lumpy Space Princess
* [[Dee Bradley Baker]] – Cinnamon Bun
* Polly Lou Livingston – Tree Trunks
* [[w:Justin Roiland|Justin Roiland]] – Earl of Lemongrab
* [[w:Jessica DiCicco|Jessica DiCicco]] – Flame Princess
* [[w:Maria Bamford|Maria Bamford]] – Others

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|1305826|Adventure Time}}

{{Authority control}}

[[Category:Adventure Time]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Post-apocalyptic animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Cartoon Network original series]]
[[Category:Television series by Cartoon Network Studios]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about brothers]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about dogs]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about orphans]]</text>
      <sha1>59msxmf28nsnmuagxippjs4yfcfx8w7</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944044</id>
      <parentid>3944043</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T21:37:05Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30410-75</username>
        <id>3325553</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Cast */</comment>
      <origin>3944044</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3704" sha1="3gpgegkk45t1w2iodyj475npby57dn3" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Adventure Time (season 1)|1]] [[Adventure Time (season 2)|2]] [[Adventure Time (season 3)|3]] [[Adventure Time (season 4)|4]] [[Adventure Time (season 5)|5]] [[Adventure Time (season 6)|6]] [[Adventure Time (season 7)|7]] [[Adventure Time (season 8)|8]] [[Adventure Time (season 9)|9]] [[Adventure Time (season 10)|10]] | [[Adventure Time: Distant Lands|Distant Lands]] | [[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake|Fionna and Cake]] | [[Adventure Time: Side Quests|Side Quests]] | [[Adventure Time|Main]]
----

{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Adventure Time|Adventure Time with Finn &amp; Jake ]]''''' (2010-2018), otherwise known as  '''''Adventure Time with Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure Time: Finn &amp; Jake''''' or '''''Adventure Time: Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''' or simply '''''AT with Finn &amp; Jake''''',  '''''AT with Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''AT: Finn &amp; Jake''''', '''''AT: Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure with Finn &amp; Jake''''',  '''''Adventure with Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure: Finn &amp; Jake''''', '''''Adventure: Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure Time''''', '''''AT''''' or '''''Adventure''''', is an American animated television series on Cartoon Network. The series follows the adventures of a human boy named &quot;Finn&quot; (voiced by Jeremy Shada) and his best friends and adoptive brothers called Jake (voiced by John DiMaggio), who is a bulldog, and BMO (voiced by Niki Yang), who is a video game system, with magitechnological powers to change their shapes and sizes at their will.

==Pilot (2008)==
{{Main|Adventure Time (short film)}}

== Seasons ==
::[[Adventure Time (season 1)|Season 1]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 2)|Season 2]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 3)|Season 3]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 4)|Season 4]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 5)|Season 5]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 6)|Season 6]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 7)|Season 7]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 8)|Season 8]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 9)|Season 9]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 10)|Season 10]]

== Specials ==
::[[Adventure Time: Distant Lands]]

== Spin-off ==
::[[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake]]

== Catchphrases ==
:'''Finn''': Mathematical!

== Cast ==
* [[w:Jeremy Shada|Jeremy Shada]] – Finn the Human
* [[John DiMaggio]] – Jake the Dog
* [[w:Hynden Walch|Hynden Walch]] – Princess Bubblegum
* [[w:Niki Yang|Niki Yang]] – BMO Game System/Lady Rainicorn
* [[Tom Kenny]] – Ice King
* [[w:Olivia Olson|Olivia Olson]] – Marceline the Vampire Queen
* [[w:Pendelton Ward|Pendelton Ward]] – Lumpy Space Princess
* [[Dee Bradley Baker]] – Cinnamon Bun
* Polly Lou Livingston – Tree Trunks
* [[w:Justin Roiland|Justin Roiland]] – Earl of Lemongrab
* [[w:Jessica DiCicco|Jessica DiCicco]] – Flame Princess
* [[w:Maria Bamford|Maria Bamford]] – Others

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|1305826|Adventure Time}}

{{Authority control}}

[[Category:Adventure Time]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Post-apocalyptic animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Cartoon Network original series]]
[[Category:Television series by Cartoon Network Studios]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about brothers]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about dogs]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about orphans]]</text>
      <sha1>3gpgegkk45t1w2iodyj475npby57dn3</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944045</id>
      <parentid>3944044</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T21:38:58Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30410-75</username>
        <id>3325553</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Cast */</comment>
      <origin>3944045</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3719" sha1="tmb5jz2czannl6lp131gtubajfih5cj" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Adventure Time (season 1)|1]] [[Adventure Time (season 2)|2]] [[Adventure Time (season 3)|3]] [[Adventure Time (season 4)|4]] [[Adventure Time (season 5)|5]] [[Adventure Time (season 6)|6]] [[Adventure Time (season 7)|7]] [[Adventure Time (season 8)|8]] [[Adventure Time (season 9)|9]] [[Adventure Time (season 10)|10]] | [[Adventure Time: Distant Lands|Distant Lands]] | [[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake|Fionna and Cake]] | [[Adventure Time: Side Quests|Side Quests]] | [[Adventure Time|Main]]
----

{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Adventure Time|Adventure Time with Finn &amp; Jake ]]''''' (2010-2018), otherwise known as  '''''Adventure Time with Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure Time: Finn &amp; Jake''''' or '''''Adventure Time: Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''' or simply '''''AT with Finn &amp; Jake''''',  '''''AT with Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''AT: Finn &amp; Jake''''', '''''AT: Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure with Finn &amp; Jake''''',  '''''Adventure with Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure: Finn &amp; Jake''''', '''''Adventure: Finn, Jake &amp; BMO''''', '''''Adventure Time''''', '''''AT''''' or '''''Adventure''''', is an American animated television series on Cartoon Network. The series follows the adventures of a human boy named &quot;Finn&quot; (voiced by Jeremy Shada) and his best friends and adoptive brothers called Jake (voiced by John DiMaggio), who is a bulldog, and BMO (voiced by Niki Yang), who is a video game system, with magitechnological powers to change their shapes and sizes at their will.

==Pilot (2008)==
{{Main|Adventure Time (short film)}}

== Seasons ==
::[[Adventure Time (season 1)|Season 1]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 2)|Season 2]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 3)|Season 3]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 4)|Season 4]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 5)|Season 5]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 6)|Season 6]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 7)|Season 7]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 8)|Season 8]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 9)|Season 9]]
::[[Adventure Time (season 10)|Season 10]]

== Specials ==
::[[Adventure Time: Distant Lands]]

== Spin-off ==
::[[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake]]

== Catchphrases ==
:'''Finn''': Mathematical!

== Cast ==
* [[w:Jeremy Shada|Jeremy Shada]] – Finn the Human
* [[John DiMaggio]] – Jake the Dog
* [[w:Hynden Walch|Hynden Walch]] – Princess Bubblegum
* [[w:Niki Yang|Niki Yang]] – Be More (BMO) Game System (GS)/Lady Rainicorn
* [[Tom Kenny]] – Ice King
* [[w:Olivia Olson|Olivia Olson]] – Marceline the Vampire Queen
* [[w:Pendelton Ward|Pendelton Ward]] – Lumpy Space Princess
* [[Dee Bradley Baker]] – Cinnamon Bun
* Polly Lou Livingston – Tree Trunks
* [[w:Justin Roiland|Justin Roiland]] – Earl of Lemongrab
* [[w:Jessica DiCicco|Jessica DiCicco]] – Flame Princess
* [[w:Maria Bamford|Maria Bamford]] – Others

== External Links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|1305826|Adventure Time}}

{{Authority control}}

[[Category:Adventure Time]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Post-apocalyptic animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Cartoon Network original series]]
[[Category:Television series by Cartoon Network Studios]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about brothers]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about dogs]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about orphans]]</text>
      <sha1>tmb5jz2czannl6lp131gtubajfih5cj</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Soul Eater</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>118085</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944074</id>
      <parentid>3941274</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T22:53:28Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30711-08</username>
        <id>3326788</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944074</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="83175" sha1="5ytfhmazhw3tvec71aknide8uo68dx0" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[W:Soul Eater|Soul Eater]]''''' (ソウルイーター Sōru Ītā?) is a Japanese manga written and illustrated by Atsushi Okubo. Set at the &quot;Death Weapon Meister Academy,&quot; the series revolves around three teams consisting of a weapon meister and (at least one) human weapon. Trying to make the latter a &quot;death scythe&quot; and thus fit for use by the academy's headmaster, Lord Death, they must collect 99 Kishin souls and one witch soul, in that order or they will have to restart all over again. If they fail to get the important witch soul all their 99 Kishin souls will be confiscated.

[[File:Soul Eater cosplay 002.jpg|thumb|{{center|A sound soul, dwells within a sound of mind, and a sound body.}}]]
[[File:Soul Eater group cosplay.jpg|thumb|{{center|It'll be okay. When it does come, we'll be there. Besides, there's a lot more of people more than evil thoughts and bad deeds. There's bravery. Everybody has that. right in there.}}]]

== Maka Albarn ==
:''[Maka Albarn (マカ=アルバーン, Maka Arubān) is Soul Eater Evans' Meister. As such, she stands out as the female protagonist &amp; one of the main Meisters in the story. Maka is impulsive in her decisions &amp; needs Soul to keep her in line at times.''
:'''[[w:Maka Albarn|Maka Albarn]]''': &quot;A sound soul dwells within a sound mind &amp; a sound body.&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;Soul Eater, that's him.&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;Maka Chop!&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;Your soul is mine to take!&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;Watch it, or I'll take your soul!&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;Humph. There's no way I'll ever consider you my father.
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;That's your answer for everything! We have to work together here! &amp; don't you want to become a death scythe? You have to take this seriously, Soul! This is a witch we're going up against! Let's just follow my-&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;You men. All of you, you're horrible. Cheating on every woman. But you, you I actually decided to trust. I put my faith in you. I can't believe this. I wish that all of you would just die!&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;He just ate your soul, you goddamn cat! What are you still doing up there?!&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;People need fear to survive. We experience it so we can grow stronger.&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;The legendary super-skill of the Scythe Meister: Witch Hunter!&quot; 
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;Stop looking at my soul, you creep!&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;They need professional help.&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;I was wondering. Do souls taste good? You seem to like 'em.&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': I screwed up.
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;The 118th rule in the Death Weapon Meister Academy handbook states, 'In the event of an emergency students are allowed to enter the Death Room without first obtaining permission'.&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;We have to find a way to face this scar.&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;It's not that you don't know how to deal with people, it's just no 1 ever took the time to deal with you.&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;I refuse to let my fear control me anymore.&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;I'm going to become stronger!&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;It doesn't hurt! It's not hot! I'm not scared! I will not be beaten!&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;Figure Six Hunter!&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;Papa was only 18 years old when I was born. He used to read a lot of books to me back then.&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;What could that asshole possibly be thinking sending sexy underwear to his own daughter?!&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;What kind of fun does he mean? Just what kind of girl does he think I am!?&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;We might be scared but that's what makes us stronger!&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;If you do continue to fight me, then I'll take your soul. You got it?&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;Stop it. Don't move. Not another word. Don't you dare say one more negative thing about yourself. You think of yourself as cowardly and weak, yet whenever something happens, you put everyone else first. And then, you end up getting hurt. Please stop this. You're hurting my friend and I can't take it.&quot;
:'''Maka''': &quot;Now you will let me have to tear out my TONGUE!&quot;

== Soul Eater Evans ==
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;Not Cool Maka!&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;Back away! I won't let you touch my Meister!!&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;The fear of interacting with people…even I understand that one.&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;As a cool guy, I'm used to seeing naked women.&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;Black Star, it's over between us.&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;You're stubborn &amp; reckless, all you like to do for fun is read, so you're boring, &amp; you have fat ankles.&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;Anybody want to take the sexy kitty home? She's free.&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;If you forget your fear you become reckless.&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;As far as I know, music isn't picky about when it gets played.&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;What is this place? Where am I? Wherever it is, it's completely dark. I can't even see my own body. It hurts…Which way is up? Which way is down? Where am I supposed to go? Someone help me.&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;I am your weapon partner Maka! That means I'm always prepared to die for my Meister!&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;I'm hungry! can we just get his zombie soul already?&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;Come out! Naptime Is over, zombie!&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;I hope it's a cool morning. That's how cool days always start out. &amp; a cool guy like me deserves the coolest morning possible.&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''' (to the Demon): &quot;Understanding fear &amp; fighting against it, maintain complete discipline always. Those are great powers in their own right. Besides, this isn't just about me anymore! If we resonate any higher, Maka will be affected too!
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''' (to the Demon): &quot;SHUT UP!! WHY ARE YOU EVEN TALKING IF YOU'RE SAYING THE SAME DAMN THING ALL OVER &amp; OVER AGAIN?! I'M SO SICK OF LISTENING TO YOU, I CAN PUKE. YOU'RE FULL OF CRAP &amp; I DON'T LISTEN TO CRAP, YOU GOT IT?! HUH?!! JUST SHUT YOUR STUPID LITTLE DEMON MOUTH &amp; TAKE THE LEAD, I'LL DECIDE IF I WANNA FOLLOW YOU OR NOT!! HOW ABOUT THAT?!!
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;In the end, the shape &amp; form don't matter at all, it's only the soul that matters right? Nothing else.&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;After all cool men don't cheat on their partners, do they?&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;Damn that witch. How am I supposed to be cool when she is all hot &amp; naked like that huh?&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;It's okay, cool guys see naked women all the time, I'm totally used to it.&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;What are you smoking? Don't you see how cool I am? You think I'm going to settle for a flat-chested girl like her?&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;Huh?! You kidding me?! How's it all my fault?! What're you stupid?! You went crazy, didn't you! Die!&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;Good idea. Maybe we can throw in some stuff as well!&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;This isn't cool!&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;This situation isn't cool at all.&quot;
== Kim Diehl ==
:''Kim Diehl (キム・ディール Kimu Dīru?) is an EAT class meister who has a tendency to charge money from others while performing tasks for them. She is the object of fellow student Ox Ford's affections, though she is often annoyed by his romantic advances.''
:'''[[w:Kim|Kim]]''': &quot;YOU DIRTY PERVERTS!&quot;
:'''Kim''': &quot;I should start charging for this.&quot;
:'''Kim''': &quot;I'd be more impressed if you were rich and handsome.&quot;
:'''Kim''': &quot;Okay. Make sure I'm covered. You ready Jackie?&quot;
:'''Kim''': &quot;Good job you guys, Thanks!&quot;
:'''Kim''': &quot;It's our turn now, Jackie!&quot;
:'''Kim''':  &quot;CHAAAAANGE PIXIE!&quot;

== Little Demon ==
:'''He is called &quot;Little Demon&quot; by Soul Eater, he is a strange demon of tiny size that appeared before Soul inside his heart after his first encounter with Ragnarok. The Little Demon normally resides in a specific room within Soul's mind, called The Black Room.&quot;
:'''[[w:Little Demon|Little Demon]]''': &quot;Swing, swing, swing.&quot;
:'''Little Demon''': &quot;Wouldn't it be nice to have a strong mind, one that can get rid of the fear you feel?&quot;
:'''Little Demon''': &quot;Seek out the power you need. Find a rule to break, it will make you stronger. Stronger perhaps then you thought possible.&quot;
:'''Little Demon''': &quot;Come with me. Overwhelming madness &amp; power await.&quot;
:'''Little Demon''': &quot;Come on, Soul. There's no point in struggling anymore &amp; you know it. It's time to wake up &amp; accept the inevitable. Let me make you stronger.&quot;
:'''Little Demon''': &quot;You're going to die if you don't do something, just leave it to me. Do away with reason, let me make you stronger.&quot;
:'''Little Demon''': &quot;You can't beat the Demon Sword's madness that way. You're sadly mistaken if you think reason &amp; discipline will give you the power you need now. Those aren't enough, I never have seen anyone have it that easy.&quot;
:'''Little Demon''' (to Soul): &quot;Just a minute, you damn brat!! You're turning into a little pathetic log all of a sudden!! What happened to all the spirit you used to have?! Where's your pride?! Forget reason!! Just let loose &amp; go crazy for once! What kind of log are you to live without a little insanity thrown in?!!&quot;
:'''Little Demon''': &quot;No the shows only just be beginning there's no more time to think about it, the stage is all set for the big concert, its time to play.&quot;

== Black☆Star ==
:''[Black☆Star (ブラック☆スター, Burakku☆Sutā) is 1 of the main meisters that the series follows. He is supposedly around 13 years old at the start of the series. Black Star is the only survivor of the infamous Star Clan, which explains the star on his shoulder. He is partnered with Tsubaki Nakatsukasa.]''
:'''[[w:Black☆Star|Black☆Star]]''': &quot;YAAAAAAHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Assassin's rule number 1-silence: dissolve in the darkness &amp; erase your breath. Wait for an opening to attack your target.&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Assassin's rule number 2-transpositional thinking: Analyze the target in order to predict his thoughts &amp; movements.&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Assassin's rule number 3-speed: take out the target before the target notices your presence.&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;I am the great assassin Black Star! &amp; I've come here to assassinate you all!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Sometimes I'm such a big star I can't handle it.&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;It was awesome! I was the biggest star in the whole room yesterday!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Dying now. My breath will be erased, okay?&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;My name is Black☆Star. I'll surpass the power of the gods.&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Compared to a man as big as me, you realize how small you are don't you? I understand how you feel. Even I can be frightened by my own greatness. So I find it difficult to stand in front of mirrors.&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;You can look high or low but you wont find a bigger guy than me!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Finishing Strike! Black Star Big Wave!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;It could be real difficult to hide when you're as big a star as I am.&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;You wont be laughing once you taste our power of friendship!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Soul! Soul! Are you okay?! It's going to be alright! Black Star is here for you now! Open your eyes! 1 look at my big handsome face &amp; you'll be cured for sure!
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Stars. Don't. Clean.
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;YAHOO! Black Star on stage front &amp; center YEAH! A big star is here to perform in your tiny village come on out everybody!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Speed Star!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;I'm just a dude who's way ahead of his time you know? Does that mean I was born too early because time can't keep up with me?&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;YAAAAAHOOOO! Fellow students remember this well! I am Black Star the worlds greatest assassin! The big man! I will transcend death! Try not to feel too bad about living in my shadow! It isn't your fault that I'm the biggest star ever! Sooner or later you will all cower before me! Let me hear you now! Scream the name of Black Star!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Hey Tsubaki, come out of there already. You haven't lost to him have you? You can put on a better show than that, come back out on stage. Encore, encore. Tsubaki encore, give us an encore!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Alright then! Come here! Come over here, Black Star's giving you a big hug!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;What the point of worrying about the past? A real star keeps moving forward.&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;My soul wave length just got taken away. I'm gunna miss it.&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;I'm Black Star. I'm on a whole different level than you. I'm a big man! I beat death! Who else can say that?!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;I'm not going to let myself get beat by a jar!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Who cares about snow? Snow can't touch me, I could be naked out here &amp; it wouldn't bother me at all.&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Sorry I'm not into Asian chicks&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;It's me with a capital M! I'm the only 1 big enough to capitalize me!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;I'll never show you my tears. These are the tears of those who died with regrets. If there's a way to take away these regrets, I'll make sure I'll find it.&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;If it's fear that you speak of, then I'll stand &amp; face it. I'll never give up. The only time I lose is when I die!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;As long as I don't admit defeat, then it'll never be a loss!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Hey Soul, let's piss on Sid's grave!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;'Path of the Warrior'? Mifune, let's get something straight. The path I choose isn't of the Warrior or the Demon. You don't know this path! You've never seen it before, Samurai! My path! &amp; nobody else's, YOU GOT ME!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;I'm the almighty badass that's gonna transcend the Gods!! When all's said and done, I'm gonna be the one standing on top!!&quot;

== Tsubaki Nakatsukasa ==
:''[Tsubaki Nakatsukasa (中務 椿, Nakatsukasa Tsubaki), the Demon Weapon, is Black☆Star's partner. She can change into multiple ninja weapons, including the chain scythe/kusarigama, shuriken, smoke bomb, &amp; eventually the uncanny sword. Like her brother, she is a member of the Nakatsukasa clan.]''
:'''[[w:Tsubaki Nakatsukasa|Tsubaki Nakatsukasa]]''': &quot;Excuse me! I'm not a microphone, I'm a chain scythe! A weapon! You don't understand assassination, do you?
:'''Tsubaki Nakatsukasa''': &quot;Silence means approaching…quietly! If you're trying to be an assassin, you have to learn how to shut up!&quot;
:'''Tsubaki Nakatsukasa''': &quot;The Camellia Blossom, also known as Tsubaki, is a flower without fragrance. It proclaims nothing, blooming in silence. When the blossom's petals scatter, it's quiet &amp; tragic. I am Tsubaki. A silent flower without fragrance.&quot;
:'''Tsubaki Nakatsukasa''': &quot;I am Tsubaki, a flower without fragrance. When I fall it will be silent &amp; tragic.&quot;
:'''Tsubaki Nakatsukasa''': &quot;I have a friend who has helped me realize something. He's helped me see that a Camellia does have a fragrance!&quot;
:'''Tsubaki Nakatsukasa''': &quot;Yay, London!&quot;
:'''Tsubaki Nakatsukasa''': &quot;You guys are a team, you have to work together if you want to do anything! 1 person can't make a decision without the other, you decide together &amp; you fight together!&quot;
:'''Tsubaki Nakatsukasa''': &quot;I'll admit Black Star makes some dumb calls from time to time, but the important thing is I'm here to back him up no matter how big a fool he is. If we're fools we're fools together, that's the kind of team we are.&quot;
:'''Tsubaki Nakatsukasa''': &quot;Our souls, together with you till the end!&quot;

== Death the Kid ==
:''[Death the Kid (デス・ザ・キッド, Desu za Kiddo) commonly called &quot;Kid&quot; (キッド, Kiddo) by his friends &amp; family, is 1 of the 3 main meisters that the series follows. He is apparently the strongest of the trio, as he is a grim reaper.  He is Patty &amp; Liz's meister &amp; Lord Death's son.]''
:'''[[w:Death the Kid|Death the Kid]]''': &quot;Just look Patty! Your stance is off again! The 2 of you aren't in a line!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;Symmetry is what makes the world beautiful.&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;ITS ASYMMETRICAL!!!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;Symmetry is key. Everything must be aesthetically pleasing. That's why I use the 2 of you as twin pistols in order to preserve symmetry. When I hold you both, I'm completely balanced on the right &amp; left. It isn't perfect because your human forms are so different from each other, though. Your hair styles &amp; height for example. Even your boobs are different sizes!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;You're right, I'm an abomination! I'm filthy &amp; dirty! &amp; unbalanced! Why is there only 1 set of stripes?! I'm garbage! Asymmetrical garbage! I deserve to die!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;I'm worrying about it! I'm worrying about it! Worry! Worry! Worry!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;Tornado Flip!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;You're disgustingly hideous! What the hell kind of thing are you? I've never seen anything more messed up in my life! Do you know nothing about symmetry? Whoever made you should be dug up from his grave, shot, &amp; reburied! You make me violently ill.&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;Dammit, Patty!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;I'm a pig, a louse, a useless cow! I destroyed Anubis! Such utter garbage cannot be allowed to live! I deserve to die!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;No I can't go on like this! I should die! How could this happen? Did I really forget to fold the tip of the toilet paper into a triangle?&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;What If I didn't fold the toilet paper? Something like that could ruin my life forever. I can't be defeated by toilet paper. If I turn my back on this, I shouldn't be allowed to live anymore.&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;No, it can't be 7! Say 8, dammit! 8 is better! It's physically impossible to cut the number 7 in half &amp; make it symmetrical! It has to be 8 instead! 8 cut vertically or horizontally stays perfectly symmetrical! Take it back, I beg of you! Please say 8! Please!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;Hey, can I shoot them now?&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;Oops. Sorry. My fingers slipped.&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;Black Star, I can't come down. There's water. Carry me.&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;I'll ward off the water from above, and you can handle the water on the ground, okay? We'll work together, it's a good thing there are 2 of us here. This way would be impassable alone. Quite an obstacle.&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;We're hunting after a legendary sword. Finding a fairy or two shouldn't be surprising.&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;Damn, it's awful. Just awful! No matter what I do I can't get the K right! I'm useless garbage! I'm a horrible disgusting person who doesn't deserve to live another day!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;If you want to do damage to the other ship, you have to ram them in the middle! Now do it again!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;I partnered with these two specifically so something like this wouldn't happen. I need symmetry! Maybe I should have listened to my father. He tried to pick out a good weapon for me, but I refused to listen to him! Stubborn! All I cared about, all I wanted was symmetry! Two symmetrical weapons! Was that so much to ask for?! &amp; now all my efforts have been completely &amp; utterly wasted! Damn it!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''' (to Black Star): Your desperation had wound up working against us. Take a closer look, what you actually cut was the shrine's seal in the bag. It's sort of ironic, you were so focused on destroying the syringe that you left yourself vulnerable. Your 6th sense kicked in &amp; took over when you weren't expecting it. In the very end, you must have been hallucinating.&quot; 
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;I do not deny evil, nor do I believe that any human is completely free of malice. Everything must be in balance. As long as evil &amp; good maintain an equilibrium in this world there is no problem. Perfect balance is the key to everything.&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;I'm going to keep fighting until this world is the way it should be. Until the world is balanced.&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;You disgust me. I am a Grim Reaper. I refuse to grant anyone the freedom to kill!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;Reaper Combat Art: Mortal Sin Stance.&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;Just look at it Liz, Patty, just look at how the clouds are! Flowing right toward the sun! It's so beautiful, even the sky is symmetrical!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;I dreamed of a perfect world. You weren't there. I'll enforce your death penalty Noah.&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;'Might is right'... those with power direct the course of world affairs and create the order they desire and those with power create he standards for justice.&quot;

==Liz Thompson ==
:''Liz Thompson (リズ（エリザベス）・トンプソン, Rizu (Erizabesu) Tonpuson) is the elder sister of Patricia Thompson and one of Death the Kid's Demon twin pistols.]''
:'''Liz Thompson''': &quot;Excuse me for being smaller than my little sister! What right do you have to talk about symmetry, anyway? Three stripes on the left side of your hair and none on the right?! That doesn't look symmetrical to me!&quot;
:'''Liz Thompson''': &quot;Now, now, Kid. You can't forget that you're a grim reaper. Compared to that, what do three little lines matter?&quot;
:'''Liz Thompson''': &quot;Not the sharpest tool in the shed, is he? These little rich kids are always so gullible.&quot;
:''Liz Thompson''': &quot;A sound soul dwells within sound skin and sound cuticles.That doesn't sound right!&quot; 
:'''Liz Thompson''': &quot;I can see through you,Your lying, you want to gobble up my hot body!&quot;
:'''Liz Thompson''': &quot;We were born as weapons and we loved the power that came with it. Nothing could scare us. We walked around town like we owned the place, taking whatever we wanted whenever we wanted it. No one ever thought to ask what our lives were really like.&quot;
:'''Liz Thompson''': &quot;Hey, Kid. Let's forget about consistency for now. We can pass right on through, just don't look at them for too long.&quot;
:'''Liz Thompson''': &quot;Okay. In your defense, I suppose poorly arranged bombs are terrifying to you as a path full of monster would be to most normal people.&quot;
:'''Liz Thompson''': &quot;Whoa! Hold on a sec. The Kishin is gonna wake back up if you give up this easily! You're a Reaper. If you can't do this, then who can?! 
:'''Liz Thompson''': &quot;It's your turn, Patty. Just tell him in that special way that you have.&quot;

== Patty Thompson ==
:''[Patty Thompson (パティー（パトリシア）・トンプソン, Patī  Thompson) also spelled &quot;Patti&quot; in some translations is one half of Death the Kid's Demon twin pistols. She is the younger of the two sisters, and the more naïve.]''
:'''Patty Thompson''': &quot;Yeah, Kid! You're not garbage. If you were garbage you would smell a lot worse, so why don't we just get up and try again, okay?&quot;
:'''Patty&quot; Thompson''': &quot;Garbage is ew, and you're not!&quot;
:''' &quot;Patty&quot; Thompson''': &quot;&quot;Hey, sis? I've been wondering something. How come everyone always closes their eyes when they sneeze? Is it to keep their eyes from popping out of their heads?&quot;
:''' &quot;Patty&quot; Thompson''':  &quot;You broke the Pharaoh! &quot;You broke the Pharaoh! &quot;You broke the Pharaoh!&quot;
:''' &quot;Patty&quot; Thompson''':  &quot;Yeah, it's going to be freaking awesome!&quot;
:'''&quot;Patty&quot; Thompson''':  &quot;Giraffe! Giraffe! I love Giraffes!&quot;
:''' &quot;Patty&quot; Thompson''':  &quot;You better watch out! I can break your neck!&quot;
:'''&quot;Patty&quot; Thompson''':  &quot;Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.&quot;
:'''&quot;Patty&quot; Thompson''':  &quot;Get your ass moving now, damn you.&quot;

== Crona ==
:''[Crona (クロナ, Kurona) is the first reoccurring antagonist of Soul Eater. The child of Medusa Gorgon, Crona is a Demon Sword Master whose weapon, Ragnarok, resides permanently within their blood.]''
:'''[[w:Crona|Crona]]''': &quot;The doors here only open 1 way. They open inward.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I can`t deal with it.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;This much I know: my blood is black.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I'm not very good at talking with girls. They make me nervous.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;Ragnarok, Screaming Resonance.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I don't like it, the dark circles under my eyes will come back &amp; I don't know how to deal with the dark circles!&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I've never seen a man with a screw sticking out of his head before. I don't know how I'm supposed to deal with a guy like that!&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;No, thumbtacks in my shoes would stick into my feet whenever I tried to walk. It would hurt. I don't think I could deal with that really.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;There are stars &amp; planets floating around me. I don't think I can handle astronomy right now.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;Hey. My blood is black, you know.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I'm scared. Of everyone. I need to learn to deal with people better.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;Do you want to know where the real hell is hiding? It's inside your head.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I hate, hate, hate everyone. But that's okay I can use my screams to blow them all away. I bet dead people are a lot easier to get along with.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I can't lose weight! I don't know how to deal with being any skinnier than I already am!&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;That's gross, &amp; I don't get the comparison!&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;Ewww…I don't want to hang out with someone disgusting as poop!&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THAT.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;Trusting someone not to hurt you…how idiotic is that?&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I don't want to lose my only friend.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I don't know how to handle this situation!&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;Stop it! When you squat it looks like you're going to the bathroom!&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;A black demon like me can only taint things jet black.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I will destroy the world.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;Relationships are painful.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I am soul eaten.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;Don't worry, I'll protect you Maka.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;Don't hurt Maka anymore. If something's bothering you, why not write a poem?&quot; (raises sword) &quot;We can write one together, okay?&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I simply want to fight for you, Maka.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;Let's meet again, Maka.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I'm here to help someone who's alway been there for me. I'm here to... I'm here to stop you Medusa!&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I'm tired of hating myself all the time, and I'm tired of betraying the people I care about, and most of all... I'm sick of being some tool for you to use.&quot;
:'''Crona''': (after being badly wounded) &quot;Maka, please... d-don't cry. I'm happy now for the first time. I finally am... because you...were my friend. It's okay.&quot;

== The Demon Sword: Ragnarok ==
:''[The Demon Sword: Ragnarok (ラグナロク, Ragunaroku), is Crona's weapon partner. Ragnarok is the first inhuman weapon introduced in Soul Eater. Ragnarok has taken to absorbing any soul, evil or not. By taking innocent souls, Ragnarok lost what little sanity he had and his soul wavelength had grown out of control and vastly overpowers Crona's own wavelength, which could potentially eventually lead to Ragnarok devouring Crona's soul. Fortunately, his soul wavelength was evened out when Lord Death confiscated the souls Ragnarok had taken.]''
:'''ENGLISH DUB''':
:'''[[w:The Demon Sword: Ragnarok|The Demon Sword: Ragnarok]]''': &quot;Goo-pi.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Goop, goop, goopi-pi&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Now now, calm down Crona.  You're so scary when you're stressed out like that.&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Bloody-needle.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;If you let him hit you with that technique again, I'm gonna stick thumbtacks in your shoes, got it?&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Screw yaself! You won't live that long!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Time to die, screwhead!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Astronomy is a lot easier to deal with than death, you moron.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Oi, Crona.  If the grim reaper catches up to us you're not having any dinner tonight.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Crona!  Quit thinking about the brat who ran off and focus on the one who's right in front of you!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Kill her...&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Don't be an idiot, girl.  You're not gonna manage anything.  Don't you remember how this went last time?  You and your weapon didn't manage so well.  I don't even know why I bother with you anyway.  A puny little soul like yours is hardly even worth eating.  That Star brat from earlier looked a lot tastier than you.  You're an unappetising useless little girl.  I don't even need to fight you.  I could probably bully you to death from here!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Huh?&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Blabber all you want.  No one will hear your screams when ya lose.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Shut up.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Come on, get it in gear, Crona!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Damn it Crona!  Look what you did!  You got me locked up in here with you because you couldn't pull yourself together!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;You idiot!  Take this!  And this!  And this and this!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;I'm gonna punch you until I can't punch anymore Crona!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Dammit Crona you complete idiot!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Screw you guys!&quot;  
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Damn you little girl!  What the hell did you do!?  Why am I so little now!?&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;You and CRONA?  FRIENDS?  You gotta be kidding me!  Who'd wanna be friends with a pathetic thing like him!?  He isn't even any fun! Wait.  I got it!  You wanna keep him around as a punching bag!  Bullying him is an excellent way to reduce stress!  That's what you want him for...&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Well too bad.  I'm the only one who gets to beat up Crona!  He's mine, you can't have him!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''':  &quot;How could you punch me Crona!?  I don't believe it!! You have no idea how it feels to be hit by you!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Well, I'll tell you! It's like when you haven't crapped in 3 days and 3 nights, and then you get a toilet water splash back bonus when you unload it all!!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;You think I'm gonna let you talk to me like that?!&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Here we go!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;What you got under there, huh!?  Nice dress, pansy.  Don't try to fight back!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Ah ha ha... Hahaha... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;I wouldn't be getting too cocky if I were you, stupid humans!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;What'd you do to me you ugly cow!?&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;What are you doing here?! I never agreed to be your friend!!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Wow, that panty-shot of you was more of a turn off than I'd expected, you cow!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;You don't have much to look at under there, do you?  Cow...&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;There is Crona's screech alpha you know.  Heh, just thought I'd mention that.  Don't know why though.  We're onlookers.  No way we're gonna help you... Not even for 3 pieces of candy...&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Heh, it was just a figure of speech. I don't actually want any candy.  I'm not a baby, you idiot.&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;It's not a matter of number!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;REALLY?  Maka Albarn, you know how to strike a good bargain.  It pays to negociate, don't 'cha think?&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Don't underestimate my black blood!&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Quit your worrying.  Dumbass.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Go after her Crona!  Kill the witch!  We're on fire now!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Cuts like that are nothing.  I'll just harden the blood after you say thank you.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;You mean 'thanks very much'!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;What?  Are you trying to study right now?  You're a strange girl.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;If you're his friend, then feed me!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Hmh, the food was good at least.&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Hey, Crona! You should try and find a partner who can cook, like that Tsubaki girl!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Goopi-pi!  Things are getting interesting.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Looks like the hallway's off limits from here.  Goo pi pi!  Which means it might be a good place to look for the vault.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;It's not my problem if you get yourself caught.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;You saved us Marie!  We were trying to find our room and we lost our way...&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;You sure about that?&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Thanks a lot.  We couldn't have done it without you.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Who cares, as long as you can drink from it.&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Looks like you have added your own girly touch here and there.&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Hey!  Why didn't I get any?  I'm thirsty too!&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Sure I do.  Wanna see?&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;There's no need to hurry!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Crona, now's your chance.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;What are you waiting for you moron?&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;U-uh... How about some pepper?  I like it spicy!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Goopi-pi... That went smoothly...&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;It was easy!  Whilst she was out of the room, we just added a little drop to her tea.&quot;

:'''ENGLISH SUB''':
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Mesuda-sama, two more visitors.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;No no no no... Crona's scary when she's all riled up.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;But their souls sure look tasty.&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Let's show 'em Crona.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;This is the end, screwshit.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;They can't pierce through him?&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;He's gone?  Hey, screwshit, where'd you go!?  Son of a bitch!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Damn, that's it!  Hurry and pull yourself together!  If we take another hit from his Soul's wavelength, we're done for!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;How to deal with stars?  Just do what feels natural, in the moment!  Just snap the hell out of it!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Crona, forget about the running boy!  Focus on the chick in front of us.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Kill her.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;You gotta be kidding!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;There's no such as, doing it somehow!  Have you forgotten?  How Crona chopped you up last time?! It's damn annoying!  Eating a small fry's soul like yours won't even leave a taste. That star kid from before looks ten times tastier!  You're not even attractive!  You're worthless, girl!  We're gonna beat the crap out of you!  That's al that's left to do!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Yeah, keep talking big.  We'll cut you down to size.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Hey, Crona!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Why you... Crona! Damn it!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;If you don't behave, I too will get locked!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;It's your fault! Damn you, damn you!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Don't mess around!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Don't mess around, idiot!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Why you, what did you do?!  Why is my master like this?!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Become friends with Crona?  Don't say stupid things!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;No matter what you do, it's still boring!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;I know!  It has to be bullying!  Did it succeed?  It's a great way to relieve stress, isn't it?&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;You one star Technician!&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;I won't let you off! I am Crona's real friend!  I won't let you have her!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Crona!  How dare you hit me!  Do you know how I feel, being hit by you?&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;It's like poop which couldn't come out for three days, which when you suddenly push out with all you got, makes the water in the toilet basin splash you.  That kind of feeling!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Don't be cheeky!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Damn!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Don't think everything will go your way, you annoying bunch! This was all your fault you know!?  Ugly woman!  Besides, I don't remember ever becoming one of your buddies!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Those panties are even more boring than I thought.  Ugly.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;There's Crona's screech alpha.  I just wanted to say it.  We're only supposed to observe, you see?  We won't lend a hand.  Even if you give me three pieces of candy.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;It's just a figure of speech!  I don't really want any candy.  Idiot!  I'm not a kid!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;It's not a matter of how many!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;What!?&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Maka Albarn, you have a way with words.  I was just negotiating.&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Don't underestimate the black blood, damn it!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;No problem, dummy!&quot;

==Asura==
:''[Asura is the Kishin, the series antagonist who influences the events through his madness of terror affecting the minds of others.]''
:'''Asura''' (First words of freedom): &quot;Nakedness is so wrong. I prefer the macho look.&quot;
:'''Asura''' (First words of freedom in dubbed voice): &quot;I'm naked, this is so wrong!! I need to cover up. I like the macho look!&quot;
:'''Asura''' (SUB): &quot;There's nothing unusual here…The appropriate one stands in the appropriate place after the inappropriate ones have collapsed to the ground, defeated. There is nothing unexpected or odd about it. Because this is reality. Not one shred of uncertainty exists here. Not even fear, of course…&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;I have to say, you're as ''reckless'' now as you always were.&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;Why don't we have a little chat about the past instead? You see, I've had an awful lot to think about ever since you locked me up. There was no escaping it. When you're sealed inside a bag of your own skin there's only so much you can do. Your mind starts to wander.&quot; 
:'''Asura''': &quot;Sitting there in the dark, I had the chance to think about a lot of things, including the nature of the world itself. And after lengthy consideration, I realized something; when all is said and done, this world is an unknowable place. On the surface, all appears rational, orderly. But what lies beyond that thin veneer of reason? Stability and reality? Or chaos and madness? What are we really made of in the end? Is there truly any meaning to the lives we lead? Or are we nothing more than hollow vessels? These are questions we can never answer, because we cannot hope to see beyond the world's fragile layer of skin. So we live our lives filled with uncertainty, never knowing who or what we truly are, or what the future will bring. All we can do is imagine. Life becomes an unsolvable mystery with any number of twists and turns awaiting us. And that's enough to fill any soul with terror.&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;It's not necessarily the uncertainty that makes us fearful. It's more than that. The answers that we imagine are what really frighten us.&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;Imagination is where all our fear originates, it is the mother of terror and mankind's greatest weakness.
:'''Asura''': &quot;What you offer is order and authority, which gives humans the illusion of security and peace, but what truly lies under the thin layer of rationality you attempt to impose on the world?&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;Pain in the present can be dealt with. It's imagining future pain that hurts us the most. It terrifies us.&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;Pain and death aren't so frightening really, unless you let your imagination run away with you...&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;Naturally. Would you like to hear it? Very well then, it's quite simple. See Reaper, ''I have decided not to imagine any more.''&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;Cowardly, Reaper? I think you should choose your words more carefully.&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;You know for a grim reaper you're impressively naive. Following the rules doesn't guarantee an escape from fear.&quot; 
:'''Asura''': &quot;Don't you see how empty and meaningless the authority you impose is? That's not how the truth is found. You make your followers feel safe by offering them white lies and comforting words... Don't you know that it only harms them more?&quot; 
:'''Asura''': &quot;Do you find creating the illusion of peace for people that noble of a job?&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;Have you been listening to a word I've said, old man!? What's wrong with surrendering to madness? That's where the true peace is.&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;Oh I'm plenty of strong. You'll find out soon enough that you're the weak one, Reaper.&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;Exactly what I was thinking. Perhaps you should say Goodbye to your son. What is it something I said?&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;So I hear, that's most unfortunate though. I hope we'd be able to come to an understanding.&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;We were friends once, so allow me to offer you one small piece of advice. You should be careful about hiding behind authority and blinding yourself to the realities of the world. It might cost you your life someday. Or somebody else's.&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;The root of all fear is imagination&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;Do you mean that after being defeated by humans I would cower never before?&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;So you got rid of corporal terror by discarding the flesh, intellectual dread by using Brew!! And you overcame the mental fear by trusting others and depending on it?! But such feeble support will break easily!! It will be all over when it breaks and the madness will take over again. Goodbye till then! Stay fearful with me until that time.&quot;
:'''Asura''' (anime): &quot;There's nothing unusual here... The appropriate one stands in the appropriate place after the inappropriate ones have collapsed to the ground, defeated. There is nothing unexpected or odd about it. That is harsh reality. Nothing uncertain exists here. Not even fear.&quot;
:'''Asura''' (to Maka, anime): &quot;Go on and stab me, I'm not afraid of pain. Not at all... but what about you?&quot;
:'''Asura''' (anime): &quot;What is Bravery?&quot;
:'''Asura''' (final words, anime): &quot;Everybody huh... then it’s just like madness.&quot;

== Lord Death ==
:''[Lord Death is the Grim Reaper himself (in Western legends), having root his soul in to Death City to seal Asura. Ultimately, known as the father of Death the Kid, Death is revealed to be Asura's father with both the Kishin and Kid created from fragments of his own soul.]''

:'''[[w:Lord Death|Lord Death]]''': &quot;Reaper Chop!&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;Yeah, yeah. Hello, hello.&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;This last collection, the witch's soul, is very important. If you slip up, all of the ninety-nine Kishin souls the two of you have collected so far will be confiscated.&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;If you don't shut up, I'm going to use my Reaper Chop to split your head open!&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;Well hello, son! What's up? It's good to see you! I've forgotten how cute those stripes on your hair are.&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;People and Gods alike possess weaknesses. In order to bury those failings, they seek strength and power. Fear and desire are two sides of the same coin.&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;Yo! Hey! Hiya! Thanks for comin', great to see you! Okay well that's about all I have to say. Have a great time tonight&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;WASSUP, WASSUP, WASSUUPPPPP?!&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;Mandolin?&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;Our struggle against witches has been going on for centuries. Over the years, many witches have come up with a number of new spells. But for every new spell, miesters and weapons have developed new ways of countering them. For instance, in order to detect and hunt down witches, miesters born would have the ability to sense souls.&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;I suppose there's no point in hiding it anymore. If you shut the lid on something that stinks, all you're really doing is hiding the bad smell. To get rid of it, you'll have to open the lid back up and dive in. Hey everyone, could I have your attention for a moment? There's a kishin sleeping underneath the DWMA!&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;It all happened before this academy was created. I'll begin at the beginning, this is a story of a man and his name was Asura. Asura kept himself covered, wrapping his face in long scares and wore five layers of shirts on top of each other. He wasn't good at trusting other people. He didn't rely on anybody. He was basically a big ball of paranoia wrapped in a dozen scares. (800 Years ago) 'Tell me. What happened with the eastern witches?' Guardian: Sir, by the time we arrived there, Asura had slaughtered them all.' Asura was a member of my personal squad. He was by far the best and strongest of all the eight guardians. However, he was also the most frightening one of them all, always terrified of something. Asura became obsessed with power, eventually he broke down the sacred rule and began collecting the souls of humans. (Pause And thus because of him, it was born. The Kishin, the source of all madness.&quot;
:'''Lord Death''' (to Kilik): &quot;I told you he was a frightened man, he was even terrified of his partner as well. So... he ate his own weapon.&quot;
:'''Lord Death''' (to Ox Ford): &quot;You know. Now that I think about it, I'm not really sure if he was ever human to begin with. It's possible he is nothing more than the embodiment of something that lies deep within his heart...   Fear for example.&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;I'd really hate to say this to you, especially since you just woke up...but it's time for you to die again.&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but there is no running away this time. You can't leave this room without my permission which I do not intend to give you.&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;Oh? Is that so? After all this time, you actually think that you could defeat me? (Pause) Unfortunately for you, the moment that you were swallowed and trapped into my Death Room, the winner has already been decided. Well, what do you say? Shall we end this quickly?&quot; 
:'''Lord Death''' (to Asura): &quot;You filthy unforgiveable swine! That's it, I'M GOING TO SKIN YOU ALIVE AGAIN!&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;Yeah sorry, it won't happen again. This time you will be GOOD AND DEAD.&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;Special attack... COFFEE TABLE FLIP!&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;So, you've decided to sacrifice you imagination. Sounds like a cowardly move.&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;If there was a better word to describe you, I don't know what it might be! This is how you've been as long as I have known you, hiding cowardice behind cunning! (Deep voiced) You were always riddled with insecurities and plagued by fears, unable to relax until you have hidden them all. In an effort to escape from your petty fears, you partnered with Vajra. You should have fought alongside me, but you were too weak for that! In the end you betrayed not only innocent humans, but your own weapon partner as well!
:'''Lord Death''': And Insanity does?! Even if you bury your fears in madness, only new fears will only surface! Are you truly lost already that you can't understand that simple fact? If you continue along the path you've chosen, the world will sink into despair. Even a child could see the heartless evil in that.
:'''Lord Death''' (to Asura): There's no hope for you! You are beyond saving!!&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;It is far more noble than seeking to destroy them with blind insanity like you intend to!
:'''Lord Death''' (to Asura): So you keep saying! Well that's because you're not strong enough for sanity!&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;It's about time for us to end this.&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;I'll remove your threat ONCE AND FOR ALL! I am the guardian of this world, it is my job to make sure you do no further damage to it!&quot;

== Spirit Albarn/Death Scythe ==
Death Scythe (デス・サイズ, Desu Saizu), Lord Death's current weapon, and Maka's father, whose real name is Spirit Albarn (スピリット=アルバーン スピリット Aruban). He was Dr. Stein's first Weapon partner.
:'''[[w:List of Soul Eater characters#Death Scythe|Death Scythe]]
:'''Death Scythe''': &quot;Hey bitch Don't even think of touching my Maka. If you lay a hand on her, as a Death Scythe... no, as her father, I will fucking kill you, you got me, you little octopus head?&quot;
:'''Death Scythe''': &quot;WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY! Are you trying to tell me that my Maka's not attractive?! Why haven't you made a move on her, you're a man, aren't you!&quot;
:'''Death Scythe''': &quot;Maka, your dad loves you.&quot;
:'''Death Scythe''': &quot;It's more effective if you warn before you chop!&quot;
:'''Death Scythe''': &quot;Maka! Please don't hate me, Maka! I love you and mama! I promise, Maka! It's true! It's true! I love you! I love you!&quot;
:'''Death Scythe''': &quot;Good times at Chupacabras!&quot;
:'''Death Scythe''': &quot;He's using every drop of his blood as a weapon.&quot;
:'''Death Scythe''': &quot;Oh my darling. My dear white coated angel. Please heal me! My heart is in need of your sweet, sweet medical lovin only you can cure!&quot;
:'''Death Scythe''': &quot;I bet Maka's enjoying her present right about now.&quot;
:'''Death Scythe''': &quot;This fight of ours has become a gamble, and the odds are stacked against us. We're so close, all we need to do now is take the offensive somehow and strike at her!&quot;

==Professor Franken Stein ==
:''[Franken Stein (フランケン・シュタイン, Furanken Shutain), also known as Professor Stein, is the man that changes Sid into a zombie, the strongest Meister of the DWMA. He was Spirit's partner before, due to suffering the effects of Asura's madness, is given a new partner. He is named after the title character of Mary Shelley's novel Frankenstein, with elements of Frankenstein's monster.]''
:'''[[w:(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein|(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein]]''': &quot;I can't seem to get my head on straight.&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;I have a simpler motive. Experimentation and observation that's all a true scientist cares about. And I am a scientist. Everything in the world is an experimental test subject, of course that includes myself as well.&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;All the more reason to dissect one, before the whole species dies off.&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;Soul Force!&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;I think I'd like to dissect you now!&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;Spirit Body.&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;Double Palm Soul Force. Twin Spears.&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;Witch Hunter!&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;Are you helping because you're a doctor? Or is it because you're a Witch?&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;Ha ha ha ha! Promise me something if you're gunna sue go after Spirit first okay?&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;This is fear. That's good then, I had forgotten what it felt like.&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;You know about it don't you Witch Medusa? About the Kishin beneath the DWMA.&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;Are you ready to fight against fear itself? Will you cross beyond that door? Let your souls make the decision for you.&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;You can't even imagine how disastrous things would be if the Kishin is revived. It's madness is like a plague.&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;We have come this far. We're just a step away, but the moment the sutures come undone, the fight will start all over again. (He then imagines the tail snake killing him.) And as Medusa said, I'm more likely to be the loser. Her tail snake is pointed directly towards my throat just a hair's breathe away from beheading me. But right now, I can't seem to picture myself being defeated. All I can imagine is dismembering that witch, dissection is what I do best... (Pause effect.) My only chance is to roll the dice and hope I win.&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;Made you look.&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;Whats good and evil is determined by those of who are in power.&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;Where am I? What path should I take? Move ahead, join the new world that's awaiting to be born, or turn back to the old world? Am I still stable or am I being consumed by the madness? Is this the truth that I see, or the fabricated delusions of insanity? Water ever-flows from higher elevations down to lower ground. More and more water collects in one place forming a river. So it is too with the lives of men. Set in their ways, they hate the loss of the old order. They fear change, but what if it's better to fall from higher grounds to join the new river? Old or new where everything is controlled by the order, but that's okay. The only thing I need right now is... to obey the new rules..&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''' (to Marie): &quot;I'm going to cut you open now!!
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;There are some friendships that can never end. It took me a long to realize that, but I finally get it now.&quot;

== Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett ==
:''[Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett (死人（シド）・バレット, Shido Baretto; Literally meaning &quot;Dead Person&quot;), a man who died and was subsequently turned into a zombie by Dr. Stein.).]''
:'''[[w:Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett|Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett]]''': &quot;Good morning, good afternoon, good night. How have you been? And all that. I always try to remember my manners, that's the kind of man I was.&quot;
:'''Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett''': &quot;Ding Dong, Dead Dong.&quot;
:'''Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett''': &quot;I always was a man to start class at the bell. Punctuality is important.&quot;
:'''Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett''': &quot;I never was the kind of man to hold back!&quot;
:'''Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett''': &quot;I've always been an enthusiastic educator! That's the kind of man I was!&quot;
:'''Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett''': &quot;Back when I was alive I was definitely a man who would never tell a lie, but a lot of thing have changed since then.&quot;
:'''Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett''': &quot;I don't spoil my students. That's not the kind of man I was.&quot;
:'''Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett''': &quot;Tsubaki? So that sneaky little brat dumped his punishment on her and took off did he? Back when I was still alive I hated it when dirty tricks like this were pulled!&quot;
:'''Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett''': &quot;I'll let this one slide, that's the kind of man I was.&quot;
:'''Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett''': &quot;I was a very meticulous man you know, that hasn't changed.&quot;
:'''Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett''': &quot;When I was alive, I was a rather cautious man thank you very much.&quot;
:'''Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett''': &quot;I was not the type of man who went sneaking around reading woman's diaries.&quot;
:'''Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett''': &quot;That's just the kind of man I was.&quot;
:'''Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett''': &quot;LIVING END!&quot;

== Ox Ford ==
:''[Ox Ford (オックス・フォード, Okkusu Fōdo) is a spear technician and one of the top students at the DWMA in terms of grades and is Harvar's meister. He is named after the University of Oxford.]''
:'''[[w:Ox Ford|Ox Ford]]''': &quot;Oh no I'm not a fool, you see I'm at the top of my class at the DWMA. I really am quite intelligent.&quot;
:'''Ox Ford''': &quot;Oh the humanity.&quot;
:'''Ox Ford''': &quot;How could he do such an awful thing to my beloved Kim?  Hiro, you're a dead man!&quot;
:'''Ox Ford''': &quot;We have to remember, this is Hiro.  He's a perpetual failure, he'll get tired of the 1000 provisions and give up before to much longer.  Ha-ha-ha-ha.&quot;
:'''Ox Ford''': &quot;No! Say it isn't so!  How could this happen to Hiro of all people, it can't be true!  AHHH!&quot;

== Harvar D.Éclair ==
Harvar De Eclair (ハーバー・ド・エクレール, Hābā Do Ekurēru), is Ox's partner and a fellow student in the Death Weapon Meister Academy.
:'''[[w:Harvar|Harvar]]''': &quot;Think you'll get top score again this year Ox?&quot;
:'''Harvar D.Éclair''': &quot;Stand up.&quot;
:'''Harvar D.Éclair''': &quot;What are you gonna do now Ox?  You can't get expelled from the academy.&quot; 
:'''Harvar D.Éclair''': &quot;Quit it will ya?&quot;

== Excalibur ==
:''[Excalibur (エクスカリバー, Ekusukaribā) is a comrade of Lord Death's whose great power that is unrivaled by any other weapon within the series continuity. However, possessing a madness wavelength that intensifies rage, his habit of alienating others makes his use ..... rare]''
:'''[[w:Excalibur|Excalibur]]''': &quot;Welcome. Welcome to my cave young ones. Please forgive the belated salutations. I am the holy sword Excalibur!&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;My legend dates back to the 12th Century thank you very much.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Young ones! Do you want to hear the legend of me? Do you want to hear a heroic tale?&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;My mornings begin with a cup of coffee with cream at the cafe. My afternoon begins with hot tea with two lumps of sugar. And my evenings... In the evening I change into my pyjamas.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;The taller the chefs hat the greater the chef.... FOOLS .... Who said I was a chef?!&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Before becoming my Meister there is a list of 1,000 provisions you must pursue. Be sure to look through all of them, they're important. I greatly look forward to your participation in number 452: The five hour story telling party.&quot;
::'''Excalibur''': &quot;No. 022: On a refreshing morning, start out with a refreshing greeting&quot;.
::'''Excalibur''': &quot;Number 058 of the 1,000 provisions I would like you to observe, never talk to me while I'm humming to myself. This is an important provision do you understand?&quot;
::'''Excalibur''': &quot;No. 075: Celebrate Excalibur's birthday in grand-style.&quot;
::'''Excalibur''': &quot;No. 172: Seek harmony. Seek it, thus.  First!  A haircut!&quot; 
::'''Excalibur''': &quot;This brings us to number 278 of the 1,000 provisions you must observe. I hate carrots. Never even think about putting them in my food, you get it?&quot;
::'''Excalibur''': &quot;SILENCE! This is number 349 of the 1,000 provisions you must observe. Meisters should eat everything regardless of personal likes and dislikes. Never say anything as selfish as &quot;I don't like carrots.&quot; again.&quot;
::'''Excalibur''': &quot;No. 452: Attendance at the five hour story-telling party is absolutely mandatory.&quot; 
::'''Excalibur''': &quot;Have you forgotten provision No. 573? Always walk 3 steps behind me.&quot;
::'''Excalibur''': &quot;No. 578: The hero must never tell a lie.&quot;
::'''Excalibur''': &quot;No. 602: Food must be prepared with the freshest ingredients.&quot;
::'''Excalibur''': &quot;No. 667: You must praise Excalibur at all times.&quot;
::'''Excalibur''': &quot;To sum up that is what led to number 679 of the 1,000 provisions you must observe. Always place a dehumidifier in your room.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Hey! Hold on, come back! I'll tell you what! I can lower those 1,000 provisions down to 800, just as long as you take part in the five hour story telling party.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;You want to hear my legend, don't you?  FOOL... FOOL... FOOL...  Ugh... Fool.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;My legend dates back to the 12th Century you see. My legend is quite old. The 12th Century was a long time ago.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Nothing beats a cup of herbal tea in the morning.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Of course they are my family. Isn't it obvious? And a wonderful family they were. It happened long ago when I was still in the flower of my youth. The cities began to grow wild, people lost hope for the future. They became lazy, idol time wasters.  And to my everlasting shame I was no exception. Thus, I began to watch the 7 o'clock news religiously every night!&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Humming and the nightly news share a very tight connection indeed.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;A symphony can not be created using common sense and probabilities. It is already written in the fate of the composer. No... that's not it. A symphony is the inevitable result of a bad childhood, deafness, and too many beans eaten after a certain time of day.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Thus I found myself carrying the entire weight of the troop as I preformed my dance before a capacity crowd at the opera house.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;One must take time to think! Rushing forward without considering things beforehand is the height of foolishness. Ahh yes, that reminds me of another time when I had to consider things, that case was long ago but I remember it still. It was back when I still hung my hat on Bakers St. and called it home.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;It's quite basic actually, perhaps the simplest of tricks there is. True it may not seem so simple from an ordinary persons point of view, some people may even consider it a baffling, utterly perplexing problem. Things will often appear complicated on the outside while in truth they are simplicity itself. Of course how one sees these things depends on the person, many people find there is a fine line separating the complex to the very simple.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;I was all dried up. Yes, nothing could satisfy me anymore. I was but a shell of a man. An unspeakable emptiness grew deep within my heart. I became frustrated, sad, hollow. The gaping hole inside of me was growing larger everyday. Slowly consuming me from the inside out. At least until that day came.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Thus at long last the fighting between the rival gangs had ended! To sum up this leads us to number 778 of the 1,000 provisions you must observe. Never mail a letter without the return address or the proper postage. And don't call collect.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;FOOL! As someone who is unaware of the vital role that singing has played in the cultural history of mankind you are in no position to question me. Remember that the next time you stop to consider your place in this world. You do not possess the power to deny a singer his song. Do you understand what I'm telling you?&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;♫ Excalibur! Excalibur! From United Kingdom! I'm looking for heaven! I'm going to California! ♫&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Well I think that about cover the 1,000 provisions that you are required to observe. Now I would like for you to participate in the most important provision. Number 452 the 5 hour story telling party.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Victory and Glory!&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Attention, Meisters around the country.  I have a great opportunity to announce.  You want to be a warrior don't you?  So why not test yourself by mastering me?  Only one person can have this honour, so act quickly!   Observe my exquisite form.  Notice my unparalleled sharpness.  Act now and you'll receive four free hours at my five hour story telling party!  Enter yourself for my special drawing.  I will be teaming up with the winning Meister.   Don't let this chance pass you by.  Send entries to the address below.   May victory and glory be yours!&quot; 
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;This academy is nothing special.  My legend is far more impressive than anything that has ever happened at this school.   All students and Meisters must hear it.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Fool.  My legend dates back to the twelfth century you see.   It began on a midsummers day with the sun blazing overhead.  No, wait.  It was a blustery Autumn day.  I was the unsavoury fellow back when it all started.  Which was in the winter as I recall.  I remember the tough crowd, all the hot babes fought over me that summer.  Yes.  Yes that's right, it was summer.  A scorching midsummer day.  I was a dangerous man at the time.  And yet, refined somehow.  Everyone thought so.  They still think so to this day.   Although, maybe they didn't think so as much back then.  But they definitely said I was dangerous, I'm sure of it...And I know I've always been refined so they must have been thinking it.  Yes.  Yes indeed.  Everyone thought and said and talked about how amazing I was.  I'm still amazing of course, but no longer the bad boy that I was back then.  On that chilled, frozen winter day.  I will continue the re-telling of my legend; But first, there will be a five minute break.  Stand still and await my return.&quot; 
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Hm?  What do you want?  The stated five minute break hasn't passed yet.  Say... Don't I know you?&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;You can't wait five minutes?  Fool.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Now that you mention it, my legend began on the same day as today.  A Tuesday or a Wednesday.   Or a Saturday perhaps.  No, it was on Monday.  No.  I suppose it could have been a Tuesday or Wednesday.   Thursday's a distinct possibility or Friday even.  Although Monday does sound right.   And Saturday is a lovely day to begin a legend with.   Perhaps it was a Thursday?   Or Tuesday.    Maybe Wednesday or Friday?  There's always Monday too.  And Saturday, we can't forget Saturday.  No, no.  It was almost certainly on a--&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;We fight then?&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;♫Sushi, sushi sushi roll-roll!   Sushi, sushi sushi roll-roll!  California-roll, California-roll♫-- Wanna fight?&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Hiro!  Good morning!&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Now let us begin another great day, shall we?&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Your twenties will be the great transitional period of your life.  It is a time of crossroads.  Of immense change of incredible uncertainty.  Indeed my 20's were such a period for me.   That was when I evolved from a no good troublemaker to the legendary sword you see before you today.  Many men envy my hairstyle you see and they were inspired... and formed a fringe group, a sort of cult if you will - Dedicated to the adoration of my daring hairstyle.  They met every week.  Or was it everyday?  As you may have noticed, humans are very young from the time they are born until some years later.  I however was born old and wise and would often discuss abstract...&quot; 
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;That is all!&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;This man is the culprit!  That's right!  This man is the brother of the girl who went missing 10 years ago and the Author of this terribly tragic tale of revenge and murder.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Everyday.&quot; 
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;I want some red king crab.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Seconds.&quot; 
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Well done!  You have met the 1000 provisions.   As a reward, I'll sing you a song.  Listen carefully.&quot; 
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Now, on our way.  A-choo! A-choo! A-choo! A-choo! Only a sneezing fit, let's go.  A-choo!  A-choo!  Nh-hee!  Nh-hee!&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Welcome to the story telling party!  We will begin with my personal history! I shall recount my legend from it's historic beginning!&quot;  
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;By the way, this tophat of mine is lined with the finest quality English seaweed roll.&quot; 
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Fool.  You shouldn't make assumptions...  Fool.  You may not be able to understand the subtle genius of my character but I assure you there are others who do.  Worry not everyone.  I shall return.  See you later!&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Fool.  Why wouldn't I be here?&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;...Fool.&quot; 
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;...Immortality.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Huh.  What kind of greeting is that?&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;It was not idol curiosity that let to Eibon's immortality research. Indeed, the true reason... is much more tragic... His wife lay dying.  Eibon's obsession with immortality was born because he desperately sought to save his beloved.  But no matter how great the inventor, or how noble the cause... Transcending death is an impossible feet.  Not even Eibon could hope to succeed in such an endeavour.  But when all seemed lost, someone appeared by his side.  Offering help and comforting words.  That someone was... The Witch, Arachne.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;HA!  That's just a bonus.  My reason goes a great deal deeper than that... FOOL.  That isn't it...  I've come to observe.&quot; 
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;It begins.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Look closely everyone.  This is Eibon's ultimate creation.  The magic tool Brew is assuming it's true form.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;And there in lies it's most fearsome power.  If used the wrong way, Brew could destroy the entire world.&quot; 
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;FOOLS.  What do you use your eyes for? Decoration? 
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;FOOLS.  Nothing has been decided yet. The battle's still going on... FOOL!  Of course I am... FOOL!  SILENCE!  I require a cup of tea before I deign to answer that.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Fool!  I said tea... and I mean tea...&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;FOOL! Those in power have the responsibility to maintain honour!&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;FOOL&quot;

==Killik Rung==
:''Kilik Rung (キリク・ルング, Kiriku Rungu) is an EAT class meister whose weapon partners, the young children Pot of Fire (ポット・オブ・ファイア, Potto obu Faia) and Pot of Thunder (ポット・オブ・サンダー, Potto obu Sandā), take the form of a pair of large gauntlets. Fire and Thunder are twin brother and sister, respectively, who never speak but have the ability to communicate with nature and sense danger.''
:'''Killik''': &quot;Sorry, this is only enough for me.&quot;
:'''Killlik''': &quot;KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY CANDY!!!!!&quot;

== Hiro ==
Hiro (ヒーロ, Hīro) is a character that appeared only in the special chapter within the Soul Eater manga and a single episode of the anime.
:'''[[w:Hiro|Hiro]]''':  &quot;Ah...&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;So... So this is... The Holy Sword 'Excalibur'?  ...Victory and glory?  I could become a famous hero.&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;With this legendary sword as a partner, even someone like me could achieve everlasting renowned and magnificence.&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;It's decided; Of going after the Holy Sword Excalibur.&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Sorry, sorry.&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Huh?  What's up?&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;What?  Why are you asking me?&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;It's something that only I can do?  Leave it to me.&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Huh?  Okay, what is it Black☆Star?&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Ow ow ow ow! I'm gonna die!&quot; 
:'''Hiro''': &quot;My eyeballs are gonna pop out of my head, ow ow ow!&quot; 
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Ugh.  Damn.  Reaching the Holy Sword's the only chance I've got.  It's time to say farewell to the academy's favourite errand boy.  I will be transformed!&quot; 
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Ha ha ha!  Please.  What a pitiful bunch you are.  I've been reborn as a true hero.  Ordinary people like you don't stand a chance against me.&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Did you see before, Black☆Star?   My incredible strength?  I'm no longer the miserable loser I was.  The Holy Sword has changed all that.  I've been transformed into a powerful hero.&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Hm, oh please.  The 1000 provisions I must observe to be Excalibur's meister are so easy to handle I could do it in my sleep.  It seems to me the real question is - How come you weren't able to handle the Holy Sword?&quot; 
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Kilik Rung.  Black☆Star.  Death the Kid.  A battle between the three best Meister's in the academy, and Excalibur.  A worthy match-up.  Ah.  I'll be joining the fight as well so you can see my new abilities up close and personal.  Excalibur!&quot; 
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Victory and glory...are mine now.&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;When all is said and done the three of you will be nothing more than a footnote   in the legend of the Holy Sword Excalibur.&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;My new name is Hiro the Brave.  I am, Hiro the Brave!&quot;  
:'''Hiro''': &quot;If you do not follow the light, no blow you strike will ever touch Hiro the Brave.&quot; 
:'''Hiro''': &quot;With this, you will be defeated.  Last move - Hiro the Atomic.&quot;  
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Hm, so guys.  What do you think about the new me, pretty powerful aren't I?&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Huh, this is the perfect example of soon to be legendary powers.  I've made it into the girls' locker room.&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Aww, if you don't like it you'll have to find a way to defeat me!&quot;  
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Everybody worships me now that I'm Hiro the Brave.  The exctacy and uncertainty of being the chosen one is overwhelming.&quot; 
:'''Hiro''': &quot;And a very good morning to you Excalibur!&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;This day will never come again, so we should spend it together.  Let's enjoy!  Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Wow, you figured it all out...  Hey!  Please don't throw things!  Ahh!&quot;  
:'''Hiro''': &quot;This was the only location with enough room.&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Magnificent Excalibur.  Munificent Excalibur!  Magnanimous Excalibur!&quot; 
:'''Hiro''': &quot;When is your birthday?  Really?  Then I think of 365 ways to celebrate, each one will be better than the one before!&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Yes, right away!&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Gladly, Sir!&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Thank you so much.  Yay!&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;I'm truly a man to be revered.  Everyone, look.  Behold my splendour.  Worship me!&quot; 
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Today was a perfect day, huh?&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;GYUH!  Of course, I'm sorry.&quot; 
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Sneezing?&quot; 
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Ah.  Goodmorning Black☆Star.  Would you like a sandwich or a soda maybe?&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Oh yeah, that.  I put it back again.  Stupid sword.&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;The sneezes.  Once he started those sneezing fits, there was no way to stop it.  Sneezing's gross.  Spit and snot goes flying, it goes everywhere, I can't stand it.   Seriously, the damn thing would be better off dead.&quot; 
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Being transformed was nice while it lasted I guess.  Hey?  Do you know another other ways to completely change a person?&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Real helpful.  Maybe I'll just start with some weight training for now.&quot;

== Medusa Gorgon ==
:''[Medusa Gorgon (メデューサ・ゴーゴン, Medyūsa Gōgon) the first main antagonist in the series, Crona's mother who used her child in a scheme to free Asura &amp; then subject the world into the Kishin's madness while observing &amp; setting events up from the shadows.]''
:'''[[w:Medusa Gorgon|Medusa Gorgon]]''': &quot;Snake, Snake, Cobra, Cobbra.&quot;
:'''Medusa Gorgon''': &quot;It will be alright, have faith in yourself. Crona, you will be a Kishin.&quot;
:'''Medusa Gorgon''': &quot;Um well Miss Maka? Can you do me a favor &amp; help me out with your father? I can't get him off my leg.&quot;
:'''Medusa Gorgon''' (to Eruka): &quot;You don't feel as good on my foot now, change yourself back into a frog.&quot;
:'''Medusa Gorgon''': &quot;You're horrible! Commenting on my appearance like that! I don't have to listen to this from you! It's sexual harassment!&quot;
:'''Medusa Gorgon''': &quot;The Kishin's power surpasses human understanding. It is evolution itself. Lord Death &amp; his little academy have protected the world by acting as a check against power. The DWMA seeks only to maintain the status quo, that's its mission. But still…time continues to march forward. It's only natural for the rest of the world to progress with it, don't you agree? That's how nature works. &amp; yet, Professor Stein, this academy has made a point to keep that from happening. Do you really want to live in a world of stasis? Where nothing changes, you're a scientist like me. Surely you must understand.&quot;
:'''Medusa Gorgan''' (to Stein): You really are a fool, aren't you? It may look like I have failed to you, Professor Stein. But all of my work has pertained to the Black Blood from the very beginning. Oh, &amp; 1 other thing, another part of your theory that is completely wrong. I didn't abduct the Demon Sword Meister from anywhere. You see, Crona's my own child. 
:'''Medusa Gorgon''': &quot;Poor Crona. Do you even know what you're saying? You will always be mine &amp; nothing can change that.&quot;
:''Medusa  Gorgon''' (to Crona): &quot;Your whole life you've listened to what I said. You would do anything I told you to do because I would have been the only 1 who was there for you.&quot;
:'''Medusa Gorgon''': &quot;Why bother denying beyond these? You would never betray me. How could you? After all…No matter what's happened…You're still my child…&quot;
:'''Medusa Gorgon''' (to Crona): &quot;This is what all that talk about killing me comes to in the end? Of course I knew you wouldn't deliver. At least you provided me with some entertainment.&quot;
:'''Medusa Gorgon''': &quot;What happened to your defiance!? Crona!!??
:'''Medusa Gorgan''' (to Crona): I know what you just did! You think hardening the Black Blood will make you safe. You are so wrong! Have you forgotten who you're dealing with? I'm the 1 who made you what you are in the first place!&quot;
:'''Medusa Gorgon''' (To Justin Law): &quot;You think that you can punish me? How arrogant. You're the one who betrayed the Grim Reaper. Tell me, what do you think that your sentence will be? What gives you the right to be the one to punish me?&quot;
:'''Medusa Gorgon''' (To Justin Law): &quot;I'm a witch. It's our job to blaspheme against God.&quot;
:'''Medusa Gorgon''' (Final words): &quot;I love you, Crona.&quot;
:'''Medusa Gorgon''': (Last words in the anime) &quot;A word of caution for you, genie hunter may be enough to defeat me. But it will never win against the Kishin.&quot;

== Free ==
:''[Free (フリー, Furī), referred to as The Man with the Demon Eye while he was in prison, is a Werewolf from the Immortal Clan. Free is the first and only Immortal in the entire Soul Eater series, and usually proclaims his immortality to his fighting opponents. He is also the first character introduced with a Mixed Soul, as he is part Human, Witch, and Werewolf. Free was imprisoned for so long that he forgot his own name, and when Eruka Frog helped him to escaped, he took the name Free as he was now &quot;free.&quot;]''
:'''[[w:Free|Free]]''': &quot;What kind of person do you think I am? You think I take handouts from whoever comes along? Thaaaannnnkkkk youuuuu! It's easy to get outta there when you got someone on the outside with a key, but you wanna know what I was gunna try before you showed up? I had a plan! See, I was planning to try that thing they do in the movies, ya know where they tunnel under the wall using a spoon to steadily dig away at the ground underneath it? I always thought it was a really cool idea when they did that! So... I decided I would give it a try myself. But all they ever gave me was chop sticks! You can't dig with those! Well I tried to think of another way out, I thought about it all the time, and I realized something. I'm just not an idea man!&quot;
:'''Free''': &quot;I'm immortal.&quot;
:'''Free''': &quot;Wolf Wolves. Wolf Wolves.&quot;
:'''Free''': &quot;I always forget not to put those things where they can skewer me. But it's okay, no problem at all nothing to see here. After all, I'm immortal.&quot;
:'''Free''': &quot;Goddamnshit shit!&quot;
:'''Free''': &quot;My first fight in 200 years and I screwed it up. I'll get it right next time I just need some practice. Yeah, just a little.&quot;
:'''Free''': &quot;I guess I exaggerated a little bit about the time. I'm a man after all, we do show off sometimes.&quot;

== Eruka Frog ==
:''[Eruka Frog (エルカ・フロッグ, Eruka Furoggu) is a frog-themed witch who serves under Medusa Gorgon. She can transform into a frog, enabling her to escape or spy on others.&quot;
:'''[[w:Eruka Frog|Eruka Frog]]''': &quot;Ribbit.&quot;
:'''Eruka Frog''': &quot;I can't stand that witch, stupid snake woman.&quot;
:'''Eruka Frog''': &quot;Next time I really am going to kill you Medusa ribbit!&quot;
:'''Eruka Frog''': &quot;It's so lovely to have been born a Witch.&quot;
:'''Eruka Frog''': &quot;Free, we gotta inject the Black Blood into the Kishin, if we don't then Medusa is gonna slaughter us!&quot;
:'''Eruka Frog''': &quot;Tadpole Jackson!&quot;

== Blair ==
:''[Blair (ブレア, Burea) is a cat in the series. She has strong magical skills, however, she has stated explicitly that she is not a true witch.]''
:'''[[w:Blair|Blair]]''': &quot;Pum, Pum, Pum, Pum. I always get what I want, so just give it to me. Pum, Pum, Pum, Pum. I'm a beauty, beautiful pretty lady. But you know, you know I've got a secret yes I do. Pumpkins, Pum, Pum, Pumpkins. Pum, Pum, Pumpkins because that's my magic spell. Pum, Pum, Pumpkins, Pum, Pum, Pumpkins yeah!
:'''Blair''': &quot;Pum, Pumpkin, Pumpkin, Halloween Cannon!&quot;
:'''Blair''': &quot;Oh! My little scythey boy!&quot;
:'''Blair''': &quot;Pum, Pumpkin, Smashing Pumpkin!&quot;
:'''Blair''': &quot;I never said I was a witch, did I? You just made that assumption all on your own. I'm really just a cat with a ridiculous amount of magical power.&quot;
:'''Blair''': &quot;Now which one of you young men wants to take a bath with me?&quot;
:'''Blair''': &quot;Good morning, Soul. There's no hurry, right?&quot;

== Mifune ==
:''[Mifune (ミフネ) is a recurring human character who seems to be of normal birth. He is a samurai who has sworn to protect the witch Angela, drafted into serving Arachnophobia.]''
:'''[[w:Mifune|Mifune]]''': &quot;My name is Mifune. I am the guardian of the witch Angela.&quot;
:'''Mifune''': &quot;Is it a path of a demon... or a path of a warrior? Black☆Star... On which path will you walk?&quot;
:'''Mifune''': &quot;I thought I'd seen at least some potential in you... But it seems I've overestimated you.&quot;
:'''Mifune''': &quot;If I killed a kid, that would give me nightmares.&quot;
:'''Mifune''': &quot;Sword Fang! Horizontal Line Attack!&quot;

:'''Mifune''': &quot;Sword Fang! Horizontal Line Attack!&quot;
==Arachne==
:''Arachne (アラクネ, Arakune), the leader of Arachnophobia, is the second major villainess introduced in the series. She is a spider-like witch and the oldest of the three Gorgon sisters.''
:'''Arachne''': &quot;Asura...&quot;

==Justin Law==
:'''Justin Law''' (About to use his attack): Oh great Lord of ours who dwells within the City of Death, May thy name be kept true. Oh Lord of Death! I am your servant of peace! I am a pillar of justice! I am a blade of faith! In the name of the great Lord Death, &quot;Law Abiding Silver Gun!&quot;

== Eibon ==
:'''Eibon''': &quot;Let me ask you - If another sin were added to the seven deadly sins, what do you think it would be...?&quot; ... &quot;Any 'Justice' taken too far is its own evil.&quot;
== Dialogue ==
=== Resonance Link – Play the Melody of the Souls? (共鳴連鎖 〜奏でろ、魂たちの旋律?〜) [1.33] ===
:'''Maka''': I think you should hit me.
:'''Tsubaki''': ''[worried]'' But why, Maka?
:'''Maka''': I hit you earlier, this'll be payback.
:'''Black☆Star''': Right.
:'''Tsubaki''': ''[still worried]'' You cannot be serious, Black Star!
:'''Black☆Star''': I'm not gonna hold back.
:'''Maka''': Good, It would be anything if you did. Come on, you afraid to hit a girl?
:'''Black☆Star''': Do you realize how you're talking to? I hope you're ready for this! 
:''[Black☆Star pulls back and hits Maka so hard she's thrown across the street into the trash dumpster and crashing into it, destroying it, Tsubaki and Liz are shocked, Patty laughs at this]''
:'''Kid''': Come on, you could've held back a little.
:'''Soul''': Dude, this is totally uncool.
:'''Maka''': Ow...

=== The Battle for Brew – Clash: The DWMA vs. Arachnophobia? (BREW争奪戦! 〜激突、死武専vsアラクノフォビア?〜) [1.34] ===
:'''Black☆Star''': Is that a chocolate bar? Killik, be a pal and share some of it.
:'''Kilik''': ''[Has chocolate bars behind his back]'' Sorry this is only enough for me.
:'''Black☆Star''': ''[angrily, then fights with Kilik]'' Liar! You have more, I saw it!
:'''Kilik''': Keep your hands off my candy!
:'''Black☆Star''': Hand it over!
:'''Ox''': How long has it been now, they said they wouldn't be gone longer than five minutes.
:'''Kid''': ''[looks at the watch]'' They still have 15 minutes to go.
=== The Word Is Bravery! (合言葉は勇気!) [1.51] ===
:'''Maka''': It'll be okay. When it does come, we'll be there. Besides, there's a lot more of people more than evil thoughts and bad deeds. There's bravery. Everybody has that. right in there.

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
[[Category:Anime]]
[[Category:Soul Eater]]
[[Category:Japanese TV shows]]
[[Category:Adult Swim shows]]
[[Category:Manga]]</text>
      <sha1>5ytfhmazhw3tvec71aknide8uo68dx0</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944076</id>
      <parentid>3944074</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T22:58:04Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30711-08</username>
        <id>3326788</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* The Word Is Bravery! (合言葉は勇気!) [1.51] */</comment>
      <origin>3944076</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="84518" sha1="jbbbhspc57l1o9t4dnplod5v38rks5n" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[W:Soul Eater|Soul Eater]]''''' (ソウルイーター Sōru Ītā?) is a Japanese manga written and illustrated by Atsushi Okubo. Set at the &quot;Death Weapon Meister Academy,&quot; the series revolves around three teams consisting of a weapon meister and (at least one) human weapon. Trying to make the latter a &quot;death scythe&quot; and thus fit for use by the academy's headmaster, Lord Death, they must collect 99 Kishin souls and one witch soul, in that order or they will have to restart all over again. If they fail to get the important witch soul all their 99 Kishin souls will be confiscated.

[[File:Soul Eater cosplay 002.jpg|thumb|{{center|A sound soul, dwells within a sound of mind, and a sound body.}}]]
[[File:Soul Eater group cosplay.jpg|thumb|{{center|It'll be okay. When it does come, we'll be there. Besides, there's a lot more of people more than evil thoughts and bad deeds. There's bravery. Everybody has that. right in there.}}]]

== Maka Albarn ==
:''[Maka Albarn (マカ=アルバーン, Maka Arubān) is Soul Eater Evans' Meister. As such, she stands out as the female protagonist &amp; one of the main Meisters in the story. Maka is impulsive in her decisions &amp; needs Soul to keep her in line at times.''
:'''[[w:Maka Albarn|Maka Albarn]]''': &quot;A sound soul dwells within a sound mind &amp; a sound body.&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;Soul Eater, that's him.&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;Maka Chop!&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;Your soul is mine to take!&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;Watch it, or I'll take your soul!&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;Humph. There's no way I'll ever consider you my father.
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;That's your answer for everything! We have to work together here! &amp; don't you want to become a death scythe? You have to take this seriously, Soul! This is a witch we're going up against! Let's just follow my-&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;You men. All of you, you're horrible. Cheating on every woman. But you, you I actually decided to trust. I put my faith in you. I can't believe this. I wish that all of you would just die!&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;He just ate your soul, you goddamn cat! What are you still doing up there?!&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;People need fear to survive. We experience it so we can grow stronger.&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;The legendary super-skill of the Scythe Meister: Witch Hunter!&quot; 
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;Stop looking at my soul, you creep!&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;They need professional help.&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;I was wondering. Do souls taste good? You seem to like 'em.&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': I screwed up.
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;The 118th rule in the Death Weapon Meister Academy handbook states, 'In the event of an emergency students are allowed to enter the Death Room without first obtaining permission'.&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;We have to find a way to face this scar.&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;It's not that you don't know how to deal with people, it's just no 1 ever took the time to deal with you.&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;I refuse to let my fear control me anymore.&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;I'm going to become stronger!&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;It doesn't hurt! It's not hot! I'm not scared! I will not be beaten!&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;Figure Six Hunter!&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;Papa was only 18 years old when I was born. He used to read a lot of books to me back then.&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;What could that asshole possibly be thinking sending sexy underwear to his own daughter?!&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;What kind of fun does he mean? Just what kind of girl does he think I am!?&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;We might be scared but that's what makes us stronger!&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;If you do continue to fight me, then I'll take your soul. You got it?&quot;
:'''Maka Albarn''': &quot;Stop it. Don't move. Not another word. Don't you dare say one more negative thing about yourself. You think of yourself as cowardly and weak, yet whenever something happens, you put everyone else first. And then, you end up getting hurt. Please stop this. You're hurting my friend and I can't take it.&quot;
:'''Maka''': &quot;Now you will let me have to tear out my TONGUE!&quot;

== Soul Eater Evans ==
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;Not Cool Maka!&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;Back away! I won't let you touch my Meister!!&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;The fear of interacting with people…even I understand that one.&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;As a cool guy, I'm used to seeing naked women.&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;Black Star, it's over between us.&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;You're stubborn &amp; reckless, all you like to do for fun is read, so you're boring, &amp; you have fat ankles.&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;Anybody want to take the sexy kitty home? She's free.&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;If you forget your fear you become reckless.&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;As far as I know, music isn't picky about when it gets played.&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;What is this place? Where am I? Wherever it is, it's completely dark. I can't even see my own body. It hurts…Which way is up? Which way is down? Where am I supposed to go? Someone help me.&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;I am your weapon partner Maka! That means I'm always prepared to die for my Meister!&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;I'm hungry! can we just get his zombie soul already?&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;Come out! Naptime Is over, zombie!&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;I hope it's a cool morning. That's how cool days always start out. &amp; a cool guy like me deserves the coolest morning possible.&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''' (to the Demon): &quot;Understanding fear &amp; fighting against it, maintain complete discipline always. Those are great powers in their own right. Besides, this isn't just about me anymore! If we resonate any higher, Maka will be affected too!
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''' (to the Demon): &quot;SHUT UP!! WHY ARE YOU EVEN TALKING IF YOU'RE SAYING THE SAME DAMN THING ALL OVER &amp; OVER AGAIN?! I'M SO SICK OF LISTENING TO YOU, I CAN PUKE. YOU'RE FULL OF CRAP &amp; I DON'T LISTEN TO CRAP, YOU GOT IT?! HUH?!! JUST SHUT YOUR STUPID LITTLE DEMON MOUTH &amp; TAKE THE LEAD, I'LL DECIDE IF I WANNA FOLLOW YOU OR NOT!! HOW ABOUT THAT?!!
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;In the end, the shape &amp; form don't matter at all, it's only the soul that matters right? Nothing else.&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;After all cool men don't cheat on their partners, do they?&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;Damn that witch. How am I supposed to be cool when she is all hot &amp; naked like that huh?&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;It's okay, cool guys see naked women all the time, I'm totally used to it.&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;What are you smoking? Don't you see how cool I am? You think I'm going to settle for a flat-chested girl like her?&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;Huh?! You kidding me?! How's it all my fault?! What're you stupid?! You went crazy, didn't you! Die!&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;Good idea. Maybe we can throw in some stuff as well!&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;This isn't cool!&quot;
:'''Soul Eater Evans ''': &quot;This situation isn't cool at all.&quot;
== Kim Diehl ==
:''Kim Diehl (キム・ディール Kimu Dīru?) is an EAT class meister who has a tendency to charge money from others while performing tasks for them. She is the object of fellow student Ox Ford's affections, though she is often annoyed by his romantic advances.''
:'''[[w:Kim|Kim]]''': &quot;YOU DIRTY PERVERTS!&quot;
:'''Kim''': &quot;I should start charging for this.&quot;
:'''Kim''': &quot;I'd be more impressed if you were rich and handsome.&quot;
:'''Kim''': &quot;Okay. Make sure I'm covered. You ready Jackie?&quot;
:'''Kim''': &quot;Good job you guys, Thanks!&quot;
:'''Kim''': &quot;It's our turn now, Jackie!&quot;
:'''Kim''':  &quot;CHAAAAANGE PIXIE!&quot;

== Little Demon ==
:'''He is called &quot;Little Demon&quot; by Soul Eater, he is a strange demon of tiny size that appeared before Soul inside his heart after his first encounter with Ragnarok. The Little Demon normally resides in a specific room within Soul's mind, called The Black Room.&quot;
:'''[[w:Little Demon|Little Demon]]''': &quot;Swing, swing, swing.&quot;
:'''Little Demon''': &quot;Wouldn't it be nice to have a strong mind, one that can get rid of the fear you feel?&quot;
:'''Little Demon''': &quot;Seek out the power you need. Find a rule to break, it will make you stronger. Stronger perhaps then you thought possible.&quot;
:'''Little Demon''': &quot;Come with me. Overwhelming madness &amp; power await.&quot;
:'''Little Demon''': &quot;Come on, Soul. There's no point in struggling anymore &amp; you know it. It's time to wake up &amp; accept the inevitable. Let me make you stronger.&quot;
:'''Little Demon''': &quot;You're going to die if you don't do something, just leave it to me. Do away with reason, let me make you stronger.&quot;
:'''Little Demon''': &quot;You can't beat the Demon Sword's madness that way. You're sadly mistaken if you think reason &amp; discipline will give you the power you need now. Those aren't enough, I never have seen anyone have it that easy.&quot;
:'''Little Demon''' (to Soul): &quot;Just a minute, you damn brat!! You're turning into a little pathetic log all of a sudden!! What happened to all the spirit you used to have?! Where's your pride?! Forget reason!! Just let loose &amp; go crazy for once! What kind of log are you to live without a little insanity thrown in?!!&quot;
:'''Little Demon''': &quot;No the shows only just be beginning there's no more time to think about it, the stage is all set for the big concert, its time to play.&quot;

== Black☆Star ==
:''[Black☆Star (ブラック☆スター, Burakku☆Sutā) is 1 of the main meisters that the series follows. He is supposedly around 13 years old at the start of the series. Black Star is the only survivor of the infamous Star Clan, which explains the star on his shoulder. He is partnered with Tsubaki Nakatsukasa.]''
:'''[[w:Black☆Star|Black☆Star]]''': &quot;YAAAAAAHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Assassin's rule number 1-silence: dissolve in the darkness &amp; erase your breath. Wait for an opening to attack your target.&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Assassin's rule number 2-transpositional thinking: Analyze the target in order to predict his thoughts &amp; movements.&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Assassin's rule number 3-speed: take out the target before the target notices your presence.&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;I am the great assassin Black Star! &amp; I've come here to assassinate you all!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Sometimes I'm such a big star I can't handle it.&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;It was awesome! I was the biggest star in the whole room yesterday!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Dying now. My breath will be erased, okay?&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;My name is Black☆Star. I'll surpass the power of the gods.&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Compared to a man as big as me, you realize how small you are don't you? I understand how you feel. Even I can be frightened by my own greatness. So I find it difficult to stand in front of mirrors.&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;You can look high or low but you wont find a bigger guy than me!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Finishing Strike! Black Star Big Wave!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;It could be real difficult to hide when you're as big a star as I am.&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;You wont be laughing once you taste our power of friendship!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Soul! Soul! Are you okay?! It's going to be alright! Black Star is here for you now! Open your eyes! 1 look at my big handsome face &amp; you'll be cured for sure!
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Stars. Don't. Clean.
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;YAHOO! Black Star on stage front &amp; center YEAH! A big star is here to perform in your tiny village come on out everybody!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Speed Star!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;I'm just a dude who's way ahead of his time you know? Does that mean I was born too early because time can't keep up with me?&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;YAAAAAHOOOO! Fellow students remember this well! I am Black Star the worlds greatest assassin! The big man! I will transcend death! Try not to feel too bad about living in my shadow! It isn't your fault that I'm the biggest star ever! Sooner or later you will all cower before me! Let me hear you now! Scream the name of Black Star!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Hey Tsubaki, come out of there already. You haven't lost to him have you? You can put on a better show than that, come back out on stage. Encore, encore. Tsubaki encore, give us an encore!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Alright then! Come here! Come over here, Black Star's giving you a big hug!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;What the point of worrying about the past? A real star keeps moving forward.&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;My soul wave length just got taken away. I'm gunna miss it.&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;I'm Black Star. I'm on a whole different level than you. I'm a big man! I beat death! Who else can say that?!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;I'm not going to let myself get beat by a jar!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Who cares about snow? Snow can't touch me, I could be naked out here &amp; it wouldn't bother me at all.&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Sorry I'm not into Asian chicks&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;It's me with a capital M! I'm the only 1 big enough to capitalize me!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;I'll never show you my tears. These are the tears of those who died with regrets. If there's a way to take away these regrets, I'll make sure I'll find it.&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;If it's fear that you speak of, then I'll stand &amp; face it. I'll never give up. The only time I lose is when I die!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;As long as I don't admit defeat, then it'll never be a loss!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;Hey Soul, let's piss on Sid's grave!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;'Path of the Warrior'? Mifune, let's get something straight. The path I choose isn't of the Warrior or the Demon. You don't know this path! You've never seen it before, Samurai! My path! &amp; nobody else's, YOU GOT ME!&quot;
:'''Black☆Star''': &quot;I'm the almighty badass that's gonna transcend the Gods!! When all's said and done, I'm gonna be the one standing on top!!&quot;

== Tsubaki Nakatsukasa ==
:''[Tsubaki Nakatsukasa (中務 椿, Nakatsukasa Tsubaki), the Demon Weapon, is Black☆Star's partner. She can change into multiple ninja weapons, including the chain scythe/kusarigama, shuriken, smoke bomb, &amp; eventually the uncanny sword. Like her brother, she is a member of the Nakatsukasa clan.]''
:'''[[w:Tsubaki Nakatsukasa|Tsubaki Nakatsukasa]]''': &quot;Excuse me! I'm not a microphone, I'm a chain scythe! A weapon! You don't understand assassination, do you?
:'''Tsubaki Nakatsukasa''': &quot;Silence means approaching…quietly! If you're trying to be an assassin, you have to learn how to shut up!&quot;
:'''Tsubaki Nakatsukasa''': &quot;The Camellia Blossom, also known as Tsubaki, is a flower without fragrance. It proclaims nothing, blooming in silence. When the blossom's petals scatter, it's quiet &amp; tragic. I am Tsubaki. A silent flower without fragrance.&quot;
:'''Tsubaki Nakatsukasa''': &quot;I am Tsubaki, a flower without fragrance. When I fall it will be silent &amp; tragic.&quot;
:'''Tsubaki Nakatsukasa''': &quot;I have a friend who has helped me realize something. He's helped me see that a Camellia does have a fragrance!&quot;
:'''Tsubaki Nakatsukasa''': &quot;Yay, London!&quot;
:'''Tsubaki Nakatsukasa''': &quot;You guys are a team, you have to work together if you want to do anything! 1 person can't make a decision without the other, you decide together &amp; you fight together!&quot;
:'''Tsubaki Nakatsukasa''': &quot;I'll admit Black Star makes some dumb calls from time to time, but the important thing is I'm here to back him up no matter how big a fool he is. If we're fools we're fools together, that's the kind of team we are.&quot;
:'''Tsubaki Nakatsukasa''': &quot;Our souls, together with you till the end!&quot;

== Death the Kid ==
:''[Death the Kid (デス・ザ・キッド, Desu za Kiddo) commonly called &quot;Kid&quot; (キッド, Kiddo) by his friends &amp; family, is 1 of the 3 main meisters that the series follows. He is apparently the strongest of the trio, as he is a grim reaper.  He is Patty &amp; Liz's meister &amp; Lord Death's son.]''
:'''[[w:Death the Kid|Death the Kid]]''': &quot;Just look Patty! Your stance is off again! The 2 of you aren't in a line!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;Symmetry is what makes the world beautiful.&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;ITS ASYMMETRICAL!!!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;Symmetry is key. Everything must be aesthetically pleasing. That's why I use the 2 of you as twin pistols in order to preserve symmetry. When I hold you both, I'm completely balanced on the right &amp; left. It isn't perfect because your human forms are so different from each other, though. Your hair styles &amp; height for example. Even your boobs are different sizes!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;You're right, I'm an abomination! I'm filthy &amp; dirty! &amp; unbalanced! Why is there only 1 set of stripes?! I'm garbage! Asymmetrical garbage! I deserve to die!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;I'm worrying about it! I'm worrying about it! Worry! Worry! Worry!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;Tornado Flip!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;You're disgustingly hideous! What the hell kind of thing are you? I've never seen anything more messed up in my life! Do you know nothing about symmetry? Whoever made you should be dug up from his grave, shot, &amp; reburied! You make me violently ill.&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;Dammit, Patty!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;I'm a pig, a louse, a useless cow! I destroyed Anubis! Such utter garbage cannot be allowed to live! I deserve to die!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;No I can't go on like this! I should die! How could this happen? Did I really forget to fold the tip of the toilet paper into a triangle?&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;What If I didn't fold the toilet paper? Something like that could ruin my life forever. I can't be defeated by toilet paper. If I turn my back on this, I shouldn't be allowed to live anymore.&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;No, it can't be 7! Say 8, dammit! 8 is better! It's physically impossible to cut the number 7 in half &amp; make it symmetrical! It has to be 8 instead! 8 cut vertically or horizontally stays perfectly symmetrical! Take it back, I beg of you! Please say 8! Please!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;Hey, can I shoot them now?&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;Oops. Sorry. My fingers slipped.&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;Black Star, I can't come down. There's water. Carry me.&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;I'll ward off the water from above, and you can handle the water on the ground, okay? We'll work together, it's a good thing there are 2 of us here. This way would be impassable alone. Quite an obstacle.&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;We're hunting after a legendary sword. Finding a fairy or two shouldn't be surprising.&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;Damn, it's awful. Just awful! No matter what I do I can't get the K right! I'm useless garbage! I'm a horrible disgusting person who doesn't deserve to live another day!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;If you want to do damage to the other ship, you have to ram them in the middle! Now do it again!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;I partnered with these two specifically so something like this wouldn't happen. I need symmetry! Maybe I should have listened to my father. He tried to pick out a good weapon for me, but I refused to listen to him! Stubborn! All I cared about, all I wanted was symmetry! Two symmetrical weapons! Was that so much to ask for?! &amp; now all my efforts have been completely &amp; utterly wasted! Damn it!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''' (to Black Star): Your desperation had wound up working against us. Take a closer look, what you actually cut was the shrine's seal in the bag. It's sort of ironic, you were so focused on destroying the syringe that you left yourself vulnerable. Your 6th sense kicked in &amp; took over when you weren't expecting it. In the very end, you must have been hallucinating.&quot; 
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;I do not deny evil, nor do I believe that any human is completely free of malice. Everything must be in balance. As long as evil &amp; good maintain an equilibrium in this world there is no problem. Perfect balance is the key to everything.&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;I'm going to keep fighting until this world is the way it should be. Until the world is balanced.&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;You disgust me. I am a Grim Reaper. I refuse to grant anyone the freedom to kill!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;Reaper Combat Art: Mortal Sin Stance.&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;Just look at it Liz, Patty, just look at how the clouds are! Flowing right toward the sun! It's so beautiful, even the sky is symmetrical!&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;I dreamed of a perfect world. You weren't there. I'll enforce your death penalty Noah.&quot;
:'''Death the Kid''': &quot;'Might is right'... those with power direct the course of world affairs and create the order they desire and those with power create he standards for justice.&quot;

==Liz Thompson ==
:''Liz Thompson (リズ（エリザベス）・トンプソン, Rizu (Erizabesu) Tonpuson) is the elder sister of Patricia Thompson and one of Death the Kid's Demon twin pistols.]''
:'''Liz Thompson''': &quot;Excuse me for being smaller than my little sister! What right do you have to talk about symmetry, anyway? Three stripes on the left side of your hair and none on the right?! That doesn't look symmetrical to me!&quot;
:'''Liz Thompson''': &quot;Now, now, Kid. You can't forget that you're a grim reaper. Compared to that, what do three little lines matter?&quot;
:'''Liz Thompson''': &quot;Not the sharpest tool in the shed, is he? These little rich kids are always so gullible.&quot;
:''Liz Thompson''': &quot;A sound soul dwells within sound skin and sound cuticles.That doesn't sound right!&quot; 
:'''Liz Thompson''': &quot;I can see through you,Your lying, you want to gobble up my hot body!&quot;
:'''Liz Thompson''': &quot;We were born as weapons and we loved the power that came with it. Nothing could scare us. We walked around town like we owned the place, taking whatever we wanted whenever we wanted it. No one ever thought to ask what our lives were really like.&quot;
:'''Liz Thompson''': &quot;Hey, Kid. Let's forget about consistency for now. We can pass right on through, just don't look at them for too long.&quot;
:'''Liz Thompson''': &quot;Okay. In your defense, I suppose poorly arranged bombs are terrifying to you as a path full of monster would be to most normal people.&quot;
:'''Liz Thompson''': &quot;Whoa! Hold on a sec. The Kishin is gonna wake back up if you give up this easily! You're a Reaper. If you can't do this, then who can?! 
:'''Liz Thompson''': &quot;It's your turn, Patty. Just tell him in that special way that you have.&quot;

== Patty Thompson ==
:''[Patty Thompson (パティー（パトリシア）・トンプソン, Patī  Thompson) also spelled &quot;Patti&quot; in some translations is one half of Death the Kid's Demon twin pistols. She is the younger of the two sisters, and the more naïve.]''
:'''Patty Thompson''': &quot;Yeah, Kid! You're not garbage. If you were garbage you would smell a lot worse, so why don't we just get up and try again, okay?&quot;
:'''Patty&quot; Thompson''': &quot;Garbage is ew, and you're not!&quot;
:''' &quot;Patty&quot; Thompson''': &quot;&quot;Hey, sis? I've been wondering something. How come everyone always closes their eyes when they sneeze? Is it to keep their eyes from popping out of their heads?&quot;
:''' &quot;Patty&quot; Thompson''':  &quot;You broke the Pharaoh! &quot;You broke the Pharaoh! &quot;You broke the Pharaoh!&quot;
:''' &quot;Patty&quot; Thompson''':  &quot;Yeah, it's going to be freaking awesome!&quot;
:'''&quot;Patty&quot; Thompson''':  &quot;Giraffe! Giraffe! I love Giraffes!&quot;
:''' &quot;Patty&quot; Thompson''':  &quot;You better watch out! I can break your neck!&quot;
:'''&quot;Patty&quot; Thompson''':  &quot;Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.&quot;
:'''&quot;Patty&quot; Thompson''':  &quot;Get your ass moving now, damn you.&quot;

== Crona ==
:''[Crona (クロナ, Kurona) is the first reoccurring antagonist of Soul Eater. The child of Medusa Gorgon, Crona is a Demon Sword Master whose weapon, Ragnarok, resides permanently within their blood.]''
:'''[[w:Crona|Crona]]''': &quot;The doors here only open 1 way. They open inward.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I can`t deal with it.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;This much I know: my blood is black.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I'm not very good at talking with girls. They make me nervous.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;Ragnarok, Screaming Resonance.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I don't like it, the dark circles under my eyes will come back &amp; I don't know how to deal with the dark circles!&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I've never seen a man with a screw sticking out of his head before. I don't know how I'm supposed to deal with a guy like that!&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;No, thumbtacks in my shoes would stick into my feet whenever I tried to walk. It would hurt. I don't think I could deal with that really.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;There are stars &amp; planets floating around me. I don't think I can handle astronomy right now.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;Hey. My blood is black, you know.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I'm scared. Of everyone. I need to learn to deal with people better.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;Do you want to know where the real hell is hiding? It's inside your head.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I hate, hate, hate everyone. But that's okay I can use my screams to blow them all away. I bet dead people are a lot easier to get along with.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I can't lose weight! I don't know how to deal with being any skinnier than I already am!&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;That's gross, &amp; I don't get the comparison!&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;Ewww…I don't want to hang out with someone disgusting as poop!&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THAT.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;Trusting someone not to hurt you…how idiotic is that?&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I don't want to lose my only friend.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I don't know how to handle this situation!&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;Stop it! When you squat it looks like you're going to the bathroom!&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;A black demon like me can only taint things jet black.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I will destroy the world.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;Relationships are painful.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I am soul eaten.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;Don't worry, I'll protect you Maka.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;Don't hurt Maka anymore. If something's bothering you, why not write a poem?&quot; (raises sword) &quot;We can write one together, okay?&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I simply want to fight for you, Maka.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;Let's meet again, Maka.&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I'm here to help someone who's alway been there for me. I'm here to... I'm here to stop you Medusa!&quot;
:'''Crona''': &quot;I'm tired of hating myself all the time, and I'm tired of betraying the people I care about, and most of all... I'm sick of being some tool for you to use.&quot;
:'''Crona''': (after being badly wounded) &quot;Maka, please... d-don't cry. I'm happy now for the first time. I finally am... because you...were my friend. It's okay.&quot;

== The Demon Sword: Ragnarok ==
:''[The Demon Sword: Ragnarok (ラグナロク, Ragunaroku), is Crona's weapon partner. Ragnarok is the first inhuman weapon introduced in Soul Eater. Ragnarok has taken to absorbing any soul, evil or not. By taking innocent souls, Ragnarok lost what little sanity he had and his soul wavelength had grown out of control and vastly overpowers Crona's own wavelength, which could potentially eventually lead to Ragnarok devouring Crona's soul. Fortunately, his soul wavelength was evened out when Lord Death confiscated the souls Ragnarok had taken.]''
:'''ENGLISH DUB''':
:'''[[w:The Demon Sword: Ragnarok|The Demon Sword: Ragnarok]]''': &quot;Goo-pi.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Goop, goop, goopi-pi&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Now now, calm down Crona.  You're so scary when you're stressed out like that.&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Bloody-needle.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;If you let him hit you with that technique again, I'm gonna stick thumbtacks in your shoes, got it?&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Screw yaself! You won't live that long!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Time to die, screwhead!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Astronomy is a lot easier to deal with than death, you moron.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Oi, Crona.  If the grim reaper catches up to us you're not having any dinner tonight.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Crona!  Quit thinking about the brat who ran off and focus on the one who's right in front of you!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Kill her...&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Don't be an idiot, girl.  You're not gonna manage anything.  Don't you remember how this went last time?  You and your weapon didn't manage so well.  I don't even know why I bother with you anyway.  A puny little soul like yours is hardly even worth eating.  That Star brat from earlier looked a lot tastier than you.  You're an unappetising useless little girl.  I don't even need to fight you.  I could probably bully you to death from here!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Huh?&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Blabber all you want.  No one will hear your screams when ya lose.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Shut up.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Come on, get it in gear, Crona!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Damn it Crona!  Look what you did!  You got me locked up in here with you because you couldn't pull yourself together!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;You idiot!  Take this!  And this!  And this and this!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;I'm gonna punch you until I can't punch anymore Crona!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Dammit Crona you complete idiot!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Screw you guys!&quot;  
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Damn you little girl!  What the hell did you do!?  Why am I so little now!?&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;You and CRONA?  FRIENDS?  You gotta be kidding me!  Who'd wanna be friends with a pathetic thing like him!?  He isn't even any fun! Wait.  I got it!  You wanna keep him around as a punching bag!  Bullying him is an excellent way to reduce stress!  That's what you want him for...&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Well too bad.  I'm the only one who gets to beat up Crona!  He's mine, you can't have him!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''':  &quot;How could you punch me Crona!?  I don't believe it!! You have no idea how it feels to be hit by you!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Well, I'll tell you! It's like when you haven't crapped in 3 days and 3 nights, and then you get a toilet water splash back bonus when you unload it all!!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;You think I'm gonna let you talk to me like that?!&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Here we go!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;What you got under there, huh!?  Nice dress, pansy.  Don't try to fight back!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Ah ha ha... Hahaha... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;I wouldn't be getting too cocky if I were you, stupid humans!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;What'd you do to me you ugly cow!?&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;What are you doing here?! I never agreed to be your friend!!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Wow, that panty-shot of you was more of a turn off than I'd expected, you cow!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;You don't have much to look at under there, do you?  Cow...&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;There is Crona's screech alpha you know.  Heh, just thought I'd mention that.  Don't know why though.  We're onlookers.  No way we're gonna help you... Not even for 3 pieces of candy...&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Heh, it was just a figure of speech. I don't actually want any candy.  I'm not a baby, you idiot.&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;It's not a matter of number!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;REALLY?  Maka Albarn, you know how to strike a good bargain.  It pays to negociate, don't 'cha think?&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Don't underestimate my black blood!&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Quit your worrying.  Dumbass.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Go after her Crona!  Kill the witch!  We're on fire now!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Cuts like that are nothing.  I'll just harden the blood after you say thank you.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;You mean 'thanks very much'!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;What?  Are you trying to study right now?  You're a strange girl.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;If you're his friend, then feed me!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Hmh, the food was good at least.&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Hey, Crona! You should try and find a partner who can cook, like that Tsubaki girl!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Goopi-pi!  Things are getting interesting.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Looks like the hallway's off limits from here.  Goo pi pi!  Which means it might be a good place to look for the vault.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;It's not my problem if you get yourself caught.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;You saved us Marie!  We were trying to find our room and we lost our way...&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;You sure about that?&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Thanks a lot.  We couldn't have done it without you.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Who cares, as long as you can drink from it.&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Looks like you have added your own girly touch here and there.&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Hey!  Why didn't I get any?  I'm thirsty too!&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Sure I do.  Wanna see?&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;There's no need to hurry!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Crona, now's your chance.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;What are you waiting for you moron?&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;U-uh... How about some pepper?  I like it spicy!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Goopi-pi... That went smoothly...&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;It was easy!  Whilst she was out of the room, we just added a little drop to her tea.&quot;

:'''ENGLISH SUB''':
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Mesuda-sama, two more visitors.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;No no no no... Crona's scary when she's all riled up.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;But their souls sure look tasty.&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Let's show 'em Crona.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;This is the end, screwshit.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;They can't pierce through him?&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;He's gone?  Hey, screwshit, where'd you go!?  Son of a bitch!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Damn, that's it!  Hurry and pull yourself together!  If we take another hit from his Soul's wavelength, we're done for!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;How to deal with stars?  Just do what feels natural, in the moment!  Just snap the hell out of it!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Crona, forget about the running boy!  Focus on the chick in front of us.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Kill her.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;You gotta be kidding!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;There's no such as, doing it somehow!  Have you forgotten?  How Crona chopped you up last time?! It's damn annoying!  Eating a small fry's soul like yours won't even leave a taste. That star kid from before looks ten times tastier!  You're not even attractive!  You're worthless, girl!  We're gonna beat the crap out of you!  That's al that's left to do!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Yeah, keep talking big.  We'll cut you down to size.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Hey, Crona!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Why you... Crona! Damn it!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;If you don't behave, I too will get locked!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;It's your fault! Damn you, damn you!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Don't mess around!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Don't mess around, idiot!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Why you, what did you do?!  Why is my master like this?!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Become friends with Crona?  Don't say stupid things!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;No matter what you do, it's still boring!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;I know!  It has to be bullying!  Did it succeed?  It's a great way to relieve stress, isn't it?&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;You one star Technician!&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;I won't let you off! I am Crona's real friend!  I won't let you have her!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Crona!  How dare you hit me!  Do you know how I feel, being hit by you?&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;It's like poop which couldn't come out for three days, which when you suddenly push out with all you got, makes the water in the toilet basin splash you.  That kind of feeling!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Don't be cheeky!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Damn!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Don't think everything will go your way, you annoying bunch! This was all your fault you know!?  Ugly woman!  Besides, I don't remember ever becoming one of your buddies!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Those panties are even more boring than I thought.  Ugly.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;There's Crona's screech alpha.  I just wanted to say it.  We're only supposed to observe, you see?  We won't lend a hand.  Even if you give me three pieces of candy.&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;It's just a figure of speech!  I don't really want any candy.  Idiot!  I'm not a kid!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;It's not a matter of how many!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;What!?&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Maka Albarn, you have a way with words.  I was just negotiating.&quot; 
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;Don't underestimate the black blood, damn it!&quot;
:'''The Demon Sword: Ragnarok''': &quot;No problem, dummy!&quot;

==Asura==
:''[Asura is the Kishin, the series antagonist who influences the events through his madness of terror affecting the minds of others.]''
:'''Asura''' (First words of freedom): &quot;Nakedness is so wrong. I prefer the macho look.&quot;
:'''Asura''' (First words of freedom in dubbed voice): &quot;I'm naked, this is so wrong!! I need to cover up. I like the macho look!&quot;
:'''Asura''' (SUB): &quot;There's nothing unusual here…The appropriate one stands in the appropriate place after the inappropriate ones have collapsed to the ground, defeated. There is nothing unexpected or odd about it. Because this is reality. Not one shred of uncertainty exists here. Not even fear, of course…&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;I have to say, you're as ''reckless'' now as you always were.&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;Why don't we have a little chat about the past instead? You see, I've had an awful lot to think about ever since you locked me up. There was no escaping it. When you're sealed inside a bag of your own skin there's only so much you can do. Your mind starts to wander.&quot; 
:'''Asura''': &quot;Sitting there in the dark, I had the chance to think about a lot of things, including the nature of the world itself. And after lengthy consideration, I realized something; when all is said and done, this world is an unknowable place. On the surface, all appears rational, orderly. But what lies beyond that thin veneer of reason? Stability and reality? Or chaos and madness? What are we really made of in the end? Is there truly any meaning to the lives we lead? Or are we nothing more than hollow vessels? These are questions we can never answer, because we cannot hope to see beyond the world's fragile layer of skin. So we live our lives filled with uncertainty, never knowing who or what we truly are, or what the future will bring. All we can do is imagine. Life becomes an unsolvable mystery with any number of twists and turns awaiting us. And that's enough to fill any soul with terror.&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;It's not necessarily the uncertainty that makes us fearful. It's more than that. The answers that we imagine are what really frighten us.&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;Imagination is where all our fear originates, it is the mother of terror and mankind's greatest weakness.
:'''Asura''': &quot;What you offer is order and authority, which gives humans the illusion of security and peace, but what truly lies under the thin layer of rationality you attempt to impose on the world?&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;Pain in the present can be dealt with. It's imagining future pain that hurts us the most. It terrifies us.&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;Pain and death aren't so frightening really, unless you let your imagination run away with you...&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;Naturally. Would you like to hear it? Very well then, it's quite simple. See Reaper, ''I have decided not to imagine any more.''&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;Cowardly, Reaper? I think you should choose your words more carefully.&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;You know for a grim reaper you're impressively naive. Following the rules doesn't guarantee an escape from fear.&quot; 
:'''Asura''': &quot;Don't you see how empty and meaningless the authority you impose is? That's not how the truth is found. You make your followers feel safe by offering them white lies and comforting words... Don't you know that it only harms them more?&quot; 
:'''Asura''': &quot;Do you find creating the illusion of peace for people that noble of a job?&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;Have you been listening to a word I've said, old man!? What's wrong with surrendering to madness? That's where the true peace is.&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;Oh I'm plenty of strong. You'll find out soon enough that you're the weak one, Reaper.&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;Exactly what I was thinking. Perhaps you should say Goodbye to your son. What is it something I said?&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;So I hear, that's most unfortunate though. I hope we'd be able to come to an understanding.&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;We were friends once, so allow me to offer you one small piece of advice. You should be careful about hiding behind authority and blinding yourself to the realities of the world. It might cost you your life someday. Or somebody else's.&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;The root of all fear is imagination&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;Do you mean that after being defeated by humans I would cower never before?&quot;
:'''Asura''': &quot;So you got rid of corporal terror by discarding the flesh, intellectual dread by using Brew!! And you overcame the mental fear by trusting others and depending on it?! But such feeble support will break easily!! It will be all over when it breaks and the madness will take over again. Goodbye till then! Stay fearful with me until that time.&quot;
:'''Asura''' (anime): &quot;There's nothing unusual here... The appropriate one stands in the appropriate place after the inappropriate ones have collapsed to the ground, defeated. There is nothing unexpected or odd about it. That is harsh reality. Nothing uncertain exists here. Not even fear.&quot;
:'''Asura''' (to Maka, anime): &quot;Go on and stab me, I'm not afraid of pain. Not at all... but what about you?&quot;
:'''Asura''' (anime): &quot;What is Bravery?&quot;
:'''Asura''' (final words, anime): &quot;Everybody huh... then it’s just like madness.&quot;

== Lord Death ==
:''[Lord Death is the Grim Reaper himself (in Western legends), having root his soul in to Death City to seal Asura. Ultimately, known as the father of Death the Kid, Death is revealed to be Asura's father with both the Kishin and Kid created from fragments of his own soul.]''

:'''[[w:Lord Death|Lord Death]]''': &quot;Reaper Chop!&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;Yeah, yeah. Hello, hello.&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;This last collection, the witch's soul, is very important. If you slip up, all of the ninety-nine Kishin souls the two of you have collected so far will be confiscated.&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;If you don't shut up, I'm going to use my Reaper Chop to split your head open!&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;Well hello, son! What's up? It's good to see you! I've forgotten how cute those stripes on your hair are.&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;People and Gods alike possess weaknesses. In order to bury those failings, they seek strength and power. Fear and desire are two sides of the same coin.&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;Yo! Hey! Hiya! Thanks for comin', great to see you! Okay well that's about all I have to say. Have a great time tonight&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;WASSUP, WASSUP, WASSUUPPPPP?!&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;Mandolin?&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;Our struggle against witches has been going on for centuries. Over the years, many witches have come up with a number of new spells. But for every new spell, miesters and weapons have developed new ways of countering them. For instance, in order to detect and hunt down witches, miesters born would have the ability to sense souls.&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;I suppose there's no point in hiding it anymore. If you shut the lid on something that stinks, all you're really doing is hiding the bad smell. To get rid of it, you'll have to open the lid back up and dive in. Hey everyone, could I have your attention for a moment? There's a kishin sleeping underneath the DWMA!&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;It all happened before this academy was created. I'll begin at the beginning, this is a story of a man and his name was Asura. Asura kept himself covered, wrapping his face in long scares and wore five layers of shirts on top of each other. He wasn't good at trusting other people. He didn't rely on anybody. He was basically a big ball of paranoia wrapped in a dozen scares. (800 Years ago) 'Tell me. What happened with the eastern witches?' Guardian: Sir, by the time we arrived there, Asura had slaughtered them all.' Asura was a member of my personal squad. He was by far the best and strongest of all the eight guardians. However, he was also the most frightening one of them all, always terrified of something. Asura became obsessed with power, eventually he broke down the sacred rule and began collecting the souls of humans. (Pause And thus because of him, it was born. The Kishin, the source of all madness.&quot;
:'''Lord Death''' (to Kilik): &quot;I told you he was a frightened man, he was even terrified of his partner as well. So... he ate his own weapon.&quot;
:'''Lord Death''' (to Ox Ford): &quot;You know. Now that I think about it, I'm not really sure if he was ever human to begin with. It's possible he is nothing more than the embodiment of something that lies deep within his heart...   Fear for example.&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;I'd really hate to say this to you, especially since you just woke up...but it's time for you to die again.&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but there is no running away this time. You can't leave this room without my permission which I do not intend to give you.&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;Oh? Is that so? After all this time, you actually think that you could defeat me? (Pause) Unfortunately for you, the moment that you were swallowed and trapped into my Death Room, the winner has already been decided. Well, what do you say? Shall we end this quickly?&quot; 
:'''Lord Death''' (to Asura): &quot;You filthy unforgiveable swine! That's it, I'M GOING TO SKIN YOU ALIVE AGAIN!&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;Yeah sorry, it won't happen again. This time you will be GOOD AND DEAD.&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;Special attack... COFFEE TABLE FLIP!&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;So, you've decided to sacrifice you imagination. Sounds like a cowardly move.&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;If there was a better word to describe you, I don't know what it might be! This is how you've been as long as I have known you, hiding cowardice behind cunning! (Deep voiced) You were always riddled with insecurities and plagued by fears, unable to relax until you have hidden them all. In an effort to escape from your petty fears, you partnered with Vajra. You should have fought alongside me, but you were too weak for that! In the end you betrayed not only innocent humans, but your own weapon partner as well!
:'''Lord Death''': And Insanity does?! Even if you bury your fears in madness, only new fears will only surface! Are you truly lost already that you can't understand that simple fact? If you continue along the path you've chosen, the world will sink into despair. Even a child could see the heartless evil in that.
:'''Lord Death''' (to Asura): There's no hope for you! You are beyond saving!!&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;It is far more noble than seeking to destroy them with blind insanity like you intend to!
:'''Lord Death''' (to Asura): So you keep saying! Well that's because you're not strong enough for sanity!&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;It's about time for us to end this.&quot;
:'''Lord Death''': &quot;I'll remove your threat ONCE AND FOR ALL! I am the guardian of this world, it is my job to make sure you do no further damage to it!&quot;

== Spirit Albarn/Death Scythe ==
Death Scythe (デス・サイズ, Desu Saizu), Lord Death's current weapon, and Maka's father, whose real name is Spirit Albarn (スピリット=アルバーン スピリット Aruban). He was Dr. Stein's first Weapon partner.
:'''[[w:List of Soul Eater characters#Death Scythe|Death Scythe]]
:'''Death Scythe''': &quot;Hey bitch Don't even think of touching my Maka. If you lay a hand on her, as a Death Scythe... no, as her father, I will fucking kill you, you got me, you little octopus head?&quot;
:'''Death Scythe''': &quot;WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY! Are you trying to tell me that my Maka's not attractive?! Why haven't you made a move on her, you're a man, aren't you!&quot;
:'''Death Scythe''': &quot;Maka, your dad loves you.&quot;
:'''Death Scythe''': &quot;It's more effective if you warn before you chop!&quot;
:'''Death Scythe''': &quot;Maka! Please don't hate me, Maka! I love you and mama! I promise, Maka! It's true! It's true! I love you! I love you!&quot;
:'''Death Scythe''': &quot;Good times at Chupacabras!&quot;
:'''Death Scythe''': &quot;He's using every drop of his blood as a weapon.&quot;
:'''Death Scythe''': &quot;Oh my darling. My dear white coated angel. Please heal me! My heart is in need of your sweet, sweet medical lovin only you can cure!&quot;
:'''Death Scythe''': &quot;I bet Maka's enjoying her present right about now.&quot;
:'''Death Scythe''': &quot;This fight of ours has become a gamble, and the odds are stacked against us. We're so close, all we need to do now is take the offensive somehow and strike at her!&quot;

==Professor Franken Stein ==
:''[Franken Stein (フランケン・シュタイン, Furanken Shutain), also known as Professor Stein, is the man that changes Sid into a zombie, the strongest Meister of the DWMA. He was Spirit's partner before, due to suffering the effects of Asura's madness, is given a new partner. He is named after the title character of Mary Shelley's novel Frankenstein, with elements of Frankenstein's monster.]''
:'''[[w:(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein|(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein]]''': &quot;I can't seem to get my head on straight.&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;I have a simpler motive. Experimentation and observation that's all a true scientist cares about. And I am a scientist. Everything in the world is an experimental test subject, of course that includes myself as well.&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;All the more reason to dissect one, before the whole species dies off.&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;Soul Force!&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;I think I'd like to dissect you now!&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;Spirit Body.&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;Double Palm Soul Force. Twin Spears.&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;Witch Hunter!&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;Are you helping because you're a doctor? Or is it because you're a Witch?&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;Ha ha ha ha! Promise me something if you're gunna sue go after Spirit first okay?&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;This is fear. That's good then, I had forgotten what it felt like.&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;You know about it don't you Witch Medusa? About the Kishin beneath the DWMA.&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;Are you ready to fight against fear itself? Will you cross beyond that door? Let your souls make the decision for you.&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;You can't even imagine how disastrous things would be if the Kishin is revived. It's madness is like a plague.&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;We have come this far. We're just a step away, but the moment the sutures come undone, the fight will start all over again. (He then imagines the tail snake killing him.) And as Medusa said, I'm more likely to be the loser. Her tail snake is pointed directly towards my throat just a hair's breathe away from beheading me. But right now, I can't seem to picture myself being defeated. All I can imagine is dismembering that witch, dissection is what I do best... (Pause effect.) My only chance is to roll the dice and hope I win.&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;Made you look.&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;Whats good and evil is determined by those of who are in power.&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;Where am I? What path should I take? Move ahead, join the new world that's awaiting to be born, or turn back to the old world? Am I still stable or am I being consumed by the madness? Is this the truth that I see, or the fabricated delusions of insanity? Water ever-flows from higher elevations down to lower ground. More and more water collects in one place forming a river. So it is too with the lives of men. Set in their ways, they hate the loss of the old order. They fear change, but what if it's better to fall from higher grounds to join the new river? Old or new where everything is controlled by the order, but that's okay. The only thing I need right now is... to obey the new rules..&quot;
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''' (to Marie): &quot;I'm going to cut you open now!!
:'''(Professor) Dr. Franken Stein''': &quot;There are some friendships that can never end. It took me a long to realize that, but I finally get it now.&quot;

== Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett ==
:''[Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett (死人（シド）・バレット, Shido Baretto; Literally meaning &quot;Dead Person&quot;), a man who died and was subsequently turned into a zombie by Dr. Stein.).]''
:'''[[w:Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett|Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett]]''': &quot;Good morning, good afternoon, good night. How have you been? And all that. I always try to remember my manners, that's the kind of man I was.&quot;
:'''Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett''': &quot;Ding Dong, Dead Dong.&quot;
:'''Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett''': &quot;I always was a man to start class at the bell. Punctuality is important.&quot;
:'''Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett''': &quot;I never was the kind of man to hold back!&quot;
:'''Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett''': &quot;I've always been an enthusiastic educator! That's the kind of man I was!&quot;
:'''Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett''': &quot;Back when I was alive I was definitely a man who would never tell a lie, but a lot of thing have changed since then.&quot;
:'''Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett''': &quot;I don't spoil my students. That's not the kind of man I was.&quot;
:'''Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett''': &quot;Tsubaki? So that sneaky little brat dumped his punishment on her and took off did he? Back when I was still alive I hated it when dirty tricks like this were pulled!&quot;
:'''Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett''': &quot;I'll let this one slide, that's the kind of man I was.&quot;
:'''Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett''': &quot;I was a very meticulous man you know, that hasn't changed.&quot;
:'''Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett''': &quot;When I was alive, I was a rather cautious man thank you very much.&quot;
:'''Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett''': &quot;I was not the type of man who went sneaking around reading woman's diaries.&quot;
:'''Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett''': &quot;That's just the kind of man I was.&quot;
:'''Sidney &quot;Sid&quot; Barett''': &quot;LIVING END!&quot;

== Ox Ford ==
:''[Ox Ford (オックス・フォード, Okkusu Fōdo) is a spear technician and one of the top students at the DWMA in terms of grades and is Harvar's meister. He is named after the University of Oxford.]''
:'''[[w:Ox Ford|Ox Ford]]''': &quot;Oh no I'm not a fool, you see I'm at the top of my class at the DWMA. I really am quite intelligent.&quot;
:'''Ox Ford''': &quot;Oh the humanity.&quot;
:'''Ox Ford''': &quot;How could he do such an awful thing to my beloved Kim?  Hiro, you're a dead man!&quot;
:'''Ox Ford''': &quot;We have to remember, this is Hiro.  He's a perpetual failure, he'll get tired of the 1000 provisions and give up before to much longer.  Ha-ha-ha-ha.&quot;
:'''Ox Ford''': &quot;No! Say it isn't so!  How could this happen to Hiro of all people, it can't be true!  AHHH!&quot;

== Harvar D.Éclair ==
Harvar De Eclair (ハーバー・ド・エクレール, Hābā Do Ekurēru), is Ox's partner and a fellow student in the Death Weapon Meister Academy.
:'''[[w:Harvar|Harvar]]''': &quot;Think you'll get top score again this year Ox?&quot;
:'''Harvar D.Éclair''': &quot;Stand up.&quot;
:'''Harvar D.Éclair''': &quot;What are you gonna do now Ox?  You can't get expelled from the academy.&quot; 
:'''Harvar D.Éclair''': &quot;Quit it will ya?&quot;

== Excalibur ==
:''[Excalibur (エクスカリバー, Ekusukaribā) is a comrade of Lord Death's whose great power that is unrivaled by any other weapon within the series continuity. However, possessing a madness wavelength that intensifies rage, his habit of alienating others makes his use ..... rare]''
:'''[[w:Excalibur|Excalibur]]''': &quot;Welcome. Welcome to my cave young ones. Please forgive the belated salutations. I am the holy sword Excalibur!&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;My legend dates back to the 12th Century thank you very much.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Young ones! Do you want to hear the legend of me? Do you want to hear a heroic tale?&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;My mornings begin with a cup of coffee with cream at the cafe. My afternoon begins with hot tea with two lumps of sugar. And my evenings... In the evening I change into my pyjamas.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;The taller the chefs hat the greater the chef.... FOOLS .... Who said I was a chef?!&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Before becoming my Meister there is a list of 1,000 provisions you must pursue. Be sure to look through all of them, they're important. I greatly look forward to your participation in number 452: The five hour story telling party.&quot;
::'''Excalibur''': &quot;No. 022: On a refreshing morning, start out with a refreshing greeting&quot;.
::'''Excalibur''': &quot;Number 058 of the 1,000 provisions I would like you to observe, never talk to me while I'm humming to myself. This is an important provision do you understand?&quot;
::'''Excalibur''': &quot;No. 075: Celebrate Excalibur's birthday in grand-style.&quot;
::'''Excalibur''': &quot;No. 172: Seek harmony. Seek it, thus.  First!  A haircut!&quot; 
::'''Excalibur''': &quot;This brings us to number 278 of the 1,000 provisions you must observe. I hate carrots. Never even think about putting them in my food, you get it?&quot;
::'''Excalibur''': &quot;SILENCE! This is number 349 of the 1,000 provisions you must observe. Meisters should eat everything regardless of personal likes and dislikes. Never say anything as selfish as &quot;I don't like carrots.&quot; again.&quot;
::'''Excalibur''': &quot;No. 452: Attendance at the five hour story-telling party is absolutely mandatory.&quot; 
::'''Excalibur''': &quot;Have you forgotten provision No. 573? Always walk 3 steps behind me.&quot;
::'''Excalibur''': &quot;No. 578: The hero must never tell a lie.&quot;
::'''Excalibur''': &quot;No. 602: Food must be prepared with the freshest ingredients.&quot;
::'''Excalibur''': &quot;No. 667: You must praise Excalibur at all times.&quot;
::'''Excalibur''': &quot;To sum up that is what led to number 679 of the 1,000 provisions you must observe. Always place a dehumidifier in your room.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Hey! Hold on, come back! I'll tell you what! I can lower those 1,000 provisions down to 800, just as long as you take part in the five hour story telling party.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;You want to hear my legend, don't you?  FOOL... FOOL... FOOL...  Ugh... Fool.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;My legend dates back to the 12th Century you see. My legend is quite old. The 12th Century was a long time ago.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Nothing beats a cup of herbal tea in the morning.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Of course they are my family. Isn't it obvious? And a wonderful family they were. It happened long ago when I was still in the flower of my youth. The cities began to grow wild, people lost hope for the future. They became lazy, idol time wasters.  And to my everlasting shame I was no exception. Thus, I began to watch the 7 o'clock news religiously every night!&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Humming and the nightly news share a very tight connection indeed.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;A symphony can not be created using common sense and probabilities. It is already written in the fate of the composer. No... that's not it. A symphony is the inevitable result of a bad childhood, deafness, and too many beans eaten after a certain time of day.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Thus I found myself carrying the entire weight of the troop as I preformed my dance before a capacity crowd at the opera house.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;One must take time to think! Rushing forward without considering things beforehand is the height of foolishness. Ahh yes, that reminds me of another time when I had to consider things, that case was long ago but I remember it still. It was back when I still hung my hat on Bakers St. and called it home.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;It's quite basic actually, perhaps the simplest of tricks there is. True it may not seem so simple from an ordinary persons point of view, some people may even consider it a baffling, utterly perplexing problem. Things will often appear complicated on the outside while in truth they are simplicity itself. Of course how one sees these things depends on the person, many people find there is a fine line separating the complex to the very simple.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;I was all dried up. Yes, nothing could satisfy me anymore. I was but a shell of a man. An unspeakable emptiness grew deep within my heart. I became frustrated, sad, hollow. The gaping hole inside of me was growing larger everyday. Slowly consuming me from the inside out. At least until that day came.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Thus at long last the fighting between the rival gangs had ended! To sum up this leads us to number 778 of the 1,000 provisions you must observe. Never mail a letter without the return address or the proper postage. And don't call collect.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;FOOL! As someone who is unaware of the vital role that singing has played in the cultural history of mankind you are in no position to question me. Remember that the next time you stop to consider your place in this world. You do not possess the power to deny a singer his song. Do you understand what I'm telling you?&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;♫ Excalibur! Excalibur! From United Kingdom! I'm looking for heaven! I'm going to California! ♫&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Well I think that about cover the 1,000 provisions that you are required to observe. Now I would like for you to participate in the most important provision. Number 452 the 5 hour story telling party.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Victory and Glory!&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Attention, Meisters around the country.  I have a great opportunity to announce.  You want to be a warrior don't you?  So why not test yourself by mastering me?  Only one person can have this honour, so act quickly!   Observe my exquisite form.  Notice my unparalleled sharpness.  Act now and you'll receive four free hours at my five hour story telling party!  Enter yourself for my special drawing.  I will be teaming up with the winning Meister.   Don't let this chance pass you by.  Send entries to the address below.   May victory and glory be yours!&quot; 
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;This academy is nothing special.  My legend is far more impressive than anything that has ever happened at this school.   All students and Meisters must hear it.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Fool.  My legend dates back to the twelfth century you see.   It began on a midsummers day with the sun blazing overhead.  No, wait.  It was a blustery Autumn day.  I was the unsavoury fellow back when it all started.  Which was in the winter as I recall.  I remember the tough crowd, all the hot babes fought over me that summer.  Yes.  Yes that's right, it was summer.  A scorching midsummer day.  I was a dangerous man at the time.  And yet, refined somehow.  Everyone thought so.  They still think so to this day.   Although, maybe they didn't think so as much back then.  But they definitely said I was dangerous, I'm sure of it...And I know I've always been refined so they must have been thinking it.  Yes.  Yes indeed.  Everyone thought and said and talked about how amazing I was.  I'm still amazing of course, but no longer the bad boy that I was back then.  On that chilled, frozen winter day.  I will continue the re-telling of my legend; But first, there will be a five minute break.  Stand still and await my return.&quot; 
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Hm?  What do you want?  The stated five minute break hasn't passed yet.  Say... Don't I know you?&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;You can't wait five minutes?  Fool.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Now that you mention it, my legend began on the same day as today.  A Tuesday or a Wednesday.   Or a Saturday perhaps.  No, it was on Monday.  No.  I suppose it could have been a Tuesday or Wednesday.   Thursday's a distinct possibility or Friday even.  Although Monday does sound right.   And Saturday is a lovely day to begin a legend with.   Perhaps it was a Thursday?   Or Tuesday.    Maybe Wednesday or Friday?  There's always Monday too.  And Saturday, we can't forget Saturday.  No, no.  It was almost certainly on a--&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;We fight then?&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;♫Sushi, sushi sushi roll-roll!   Sushi, sushi sushi roll-roll!  California-roll, California-roll♫-- Wanna fight?&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Hiro!  Good morning!&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Now let us begin another great day, shall we?&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Your twenties will be the great transitional period of your life.  It is a time of crossroads.  Of immense change of incredible uncertainty.  Indeed my 20's were such a period for me.   That was when I evolved from a no good troublemaker to the legendary sword you see before you today.  Many men envy my hairstyle you see and they were inspired... and formed a fringe group, a sort of cult if you will - Dedicated to the adoration of my daring hairstyle.  They met every week.  Or was it everyday?  As you may have noticed, humans are very young from the time they are born until some years later.  I however was born old and wise and would often discuss abstract...&quot; 
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;That is all!&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;This man is the culprit!  That's right!  This man is the brother of the girl who went missing 10 years ago and the Author of this terribly tragic tale of revenge and murder.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Everyday.&quot; 
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;I want some red king crab.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Seconds.&quot; 
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Well done!  You have met the 1000 provisions.   As a reward, I'll sing you a song.  Listen carefully.&quot; 
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Now, on our way.  A-choo! A-choo! A-choo! A-choo! Only a sneezing fit, let's go.  A-choo!  A-choo!  Nh-hee!  Nh-hee!&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Welcome to the story telling party!  We will begin with my personal history! I shall recount my legend from it's historic beginning!&quot;  
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;By the way, this tophat of mine is lined with the finest quality English seaweed roll.&quot; 
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Fool.  You shouldn't make assumptions...  Fool.  You may not be able to understand the subtle genius of my character but I assure you there are others who do.  Worry not everyone.  I shall return.  See you later!&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Fool.  Why wouldn't I be here?&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;...Fool.&quot; 
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;...Immortality.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Huh.  What kind of greeting is that?&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;It was not idol curiosity that let to Eibon's immortality research. Indeed, the true reason... is much more tragic... His wife lay dying.  Eibon's obsession with immortality was born because he desperately sought to save his beloved.  But no matter how great the inventor, or how noble the cause... Transcending death is an impossible feet.  Not even Eibon could hope to succeed in such an endeavour.  But when all seemed lost, someone appeared by his side.  Offering help and comforting words.  That someone was... The Witch, Arachne.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;HA!  That's just a bonus.  My reason goes a great deal deeper than that... FOOL.  That isn't it...  I've come to observe.&quot; 
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;It begins.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Look closely everyone.  This is Eibon's ultimate creation.  The magic tool Brew is assuming it's true form.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;And there in lies it's most fearsome power.  If used the wrong way, Brew could destroy the entire world.&quot; 
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;FOOLS.  What do you use your eyes for? Decoration? 
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;FOOLS.  Nothing has been decided yet. The battle's still going on... FOOL!  Of course I am... FOOL!  SILENCE!  I require a cup of tea before I deign to answer that.&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;Fool!  I said tea... and I mean tea...&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;FOOL! Those in power have the responsibility to maintain honour!&quot;
:'''Excalibur''': &quot;FOOL&quot;

==Killik Rung==
:''Kilik Rung (キリク・ルング, Kiriku Rungu) is an EAT class meister whose weapon partners, the young children Pot of Fire (ポット・オブ・ファイア, Potto obu Faia) and Pot of Thunder (ポット・オブ・サンダー, Potto obu Sandā), take the form of a pair of large gauntlets. Fire and Thunder are twin brother and sister, respectively, who never speak but have the ability to communicate with nature and sense danger.''
:'''Killik''': &quot;Sorry, this is only enough for me.&quot;
:'''Killlik''': &quot;KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY CANDY!!!!!&quot;

== Hiro ==
Hiro (ヒーロ, Hīro) is a character that appeared only in the special chapter within the Soul Eater manga and a single episode of the anime.
:'''[[w:Hiro|Hiro]]''':  &quot;Ah...&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;So... So this is... The Holy Sword 'Excalibur'?  ...Victory and glory?  I could become a famous hero.&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;With this legendary sword as a partner, even someone like me could achieve everlasting renowned and magnificence.&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;It's decided; Of going after the Holy Sword Excalibur.&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Sorry, sorry.&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Huh?  What's up?&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;What?  Why are you asking me?&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;It's something that only I can do?  Leave it to me.&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Huh?  Okay, what is it Black☆Star?&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Ow ow ow ow! I'm gonna die!&quot; 
:'''Hiro''': &quot;My eyeballs are gonna pop out of my head, ow ow ow!&quot; 
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Ugh.  Damn.  Reaching the Holy Sword's the only chance I've got.  It's time to say farewell to the academy's favourite errand boy.  I will be transformed!&quot; 
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Ha ha ha!  Please.  What a pitiful bunch you are.  I've been reborn as a true hero.  Ordinary people like you don't stand a chance against me.&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Did you see before, Black☆Star?   My incredible strength?  I'm no longer the miserable loser I was.  The Holy Sword has changed all that.  I've been transformed into a powerful hero.&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Hm, oh please.  The 1000 provisions I must observe to be Excalibur's meister are so easy to handle I could do it in my sleep.  It seems to me the real question is - How come you weren't able to handle the Holy Sword?&quot; 
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Kilik Rung.  Black☆Star.  Death the Kid.  A battle between the three best Meister's in the academy, and Excalibur.  A worthy match-up.  Ah.  I'll be joining the fight as well so you can see my new abilities up close and personal.  Excalibur!&quot; 
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Victory and glory...are mine now.&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;When all is said and done the three of you will be nothing more than a footnote   in the legend of the Holy Sword Excalibur.&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;My new name is Hiro the Brave.  I am, Hiro the Brave!&quot;  
:'''Hiro''': &quot;If you do not follow the light, no blow you strike will ever touch Hiro the Brave.&quot; 
:'''Hiro''': &quot;With this, you will be defeated.  Last move - Hiro the Atomic.&quot;  
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Hm, so guys.  What do you think about the new me, pretty powerful aren't I?&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Huh, this is the perfect example of soon to be legendary powers.  I've made it into the girls' locker room.&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Aww, if you don't like it you'll have to find a way to defeat me!&quot;  
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Everybody worships me now that I'm Hiro the Brave.  The exctacy and uncertainty of being the chosen one is overwhelming.&quot; 
:'''Hiro''': &quot;And a very good morning to you Excalibur!&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;This day will never come again, so we should spend it together.  Let's enjoy!  Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Wow, you figured it all out...  Hey!  Please don't throw things!  Ahh!&quot;  
:'''Hiro''': &quot;This was the only location with enough room.&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Magnificent Excalibur.  Munificent Excalibur!  Magnanimous Excalibur!&quot; 
:'''Hiro''': &quot;When is your birthday?  Really?  Then I think of 365 ways to celebrate, each one will be better than the one before!&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Yes, right away!&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Gladly, Sir!&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Thank you so much.  Yay!&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;I'm truly a man to be revered.  Everyone, look.  Behold my splendour.  Worship me!&quot; 
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Today was a perfect day, huh?&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;GYUH!  Of course, I'm sorry.&quot; 
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Sneezing?&quot; 
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Ah.  Goodmorning Black☆Star.  Would you like a sandwich or a soda maybe?&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Oh yeah, that.  I put it back again.  Stupid sword.&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;The sneezes.  Once he started those sneezing fits, there was no way to stop it.  Sneezing's gross.  Spit and snot goes flying, it goes everywhere, I can't stand it.   Seriously, the damn thing would be better off dead.&quot; 
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Being transformed was nice while it lasted I guess.  Hey?  Do you know another other ways to completely change a person?&quot;
:'''Hiro''': &quot;Real helpful.  Maybe I'll just start with some weight training for now.&quot;

== Medusa Gorgon ==
:''[Medusa Gorgon (メデューサ・ゴーゴン, Medyūsa Gōgon) the first main antagonist in the series, Crona's mother who used her child in a scheme to free Asura &amp; then subject the world into the Kishin's madness while observing &amp; setting events up from the shadows.]''
:'''[[w:Medusa Gorgon|Medusa Gorgon]]''': &quot;Snake, Snake, Cobra, Cobbra.&quot;
:'''Medusa Gorgon''': &quot;It will be alright, have faith in yourself. Crona, you will be a Kishin.&quot;
:'''Medusa Gorgon''': &quot;Um well Miss Maka? Can you do me a favor &amp; help me out with your father? I can't get him off my leg.&quot;
:'''Medusa Gorgon''' (to Eruka): &quot;You don't feel as good on my foot now, change yourself back into a frog.&quot;
:'''Medusa Gorgon''': &quot;You're horrible! Commenting on my appearance like that! I don't have to listen to this from you! It's sexual harassment!&quot;
:'''Medusa Gorgon''': &quot;The Kishin's power surpasses human understanding. It is evolution itself. Lord Death &amp; his little academy have protected the world by acting as a check against power. The DWMA seeks only to maintain the status quo, that's its mission. But still…time continues to march forward. It's only natural for the rest of the world to progress with it, don't you agree? That's how nature works. &amp; yet, Professor Stein, this academy has made a point to keep that from happening. Do you really want to live in a world of stasis? Where nothing changes, you're a scientist like me. Surely you must understand.&quot;
:'''Medusa Gorgan''' (to Stein): You really are a fool, aren't you? It may look like I have failed to you, Professor Stein. But all of my work has pertained to the Black Blood from the very beginning. Oh, &amp; 1 other thing, another part of your theory that is completely wrong. I didn't abduct the Demon Sword Meister from anywhere. You see, Crona's my own child. 
:'''Medusa Gorgon''': &quot;Poor Crona. Do you even know what you're saying? You will always be mine &amp; nothing can change that.&quot;
:''Medusa  Gorgon''' (to Crona): &quot;Your whole life you've listened to what I said. You would do anything I told you to do because I would have been the only 1 who was there for you.&quot;
:'''Medusa Gorgon''': &quot;Why bother denying beyond these? You would never betray me. How could you? After all…No matter what's happened…You're still my child…&quot;
:'''Medusa Gorgon''' (to Crona): &quot;This is what all that talk about killing me comes to in the end? Of course I knew you wouldn't deliver. At least you provided me with some entertainment.&quot;
:'''Medusa Gorgon''': &quot;What happened to your defiance!? Crona!!??
:'''Medusa Gorgan''' (to Crona): I know what you just did! You think hardening the Black Blood will make you safe. You are so wrong! Have you forgotten who you're dealing with? I'm the 1 who made you what you are in the first place!&quot;
:'''Medusa Gorgon''' (To Justin Law): &quot;You think that you can punish me? How arrogant. You're the one who betrayed the Grim Reaper. Tell me, what do you think that your sentence will be? What gives you the right to be the one to punish me?&quot;
:'''Medusa Gorgon''' (To Justin Law): &quot;I'm a witch. It's our job to blaspheme against God.&quot;
:'''Medusa Gorgon''' (Final words): &quot;I love you, Crona.&quot;
:'''Medusa Gorgon''': (Last words in the anime) &quot;A word of caution for you, genie hunter may be enough to defeat me. But it will never win against the Kishin.&quot;

== Free ==
:''[Free (フリー, Furī), referred to as The Man with the Demon Eye while he was in prison, is a Werewolf from the Immortal Clan. Free is the first and only Immortal in the entire Soul Eater series, and usually proclaims his immortality to his fighting opponents. He is also the first character introduced with a Mixed Soul, as he is part Human, Witch, and Werewolf. Free was imprisoned for so long that he forgot his own name, and when Eruka Frog helped him to escaped, he took the name Free as he was now &quot;free.&quot;]''
:'''[[w:Free|Free]]''': &quot;What kind of person do you think I am? You think I take handouts from whoever comes along? Thaaaannnnkkkk youuuuu! It's easy to get outta there when you got someone on the outside with a key, but you wanna know what I was gunna try before you showed up? I had a plan! See, I was planning to try that thing they do in the movies, ya know where they tunnel under the wall using a spoon to steadily dig away at the ground underneath it? I always thought it was a really cool idea when they did that! So... I decided I would give it a try myself. But all they ever gave me was chop sticks! You can't dig with those! Well I tried to think of another way out, I thought about it all the time, and I realized something. I'm just not an idea man!&quot;
:'''Free''': &quot;I'm immortal.&quot;
:'''Free''': &quot;Wolf Wolves. Wolf Wolves.&quot;
:'''Free''': &quot;I always forget not to put those things where they can skewer me. But it's okay, no problem at all nothing to see here. After all, I'm immortal.&quot;
:'''Free''': &quot;Goddamnshit shit!&quot;
:'''Free''': &quot;My first fight in 200 years and I screwed it up. I'll get it right next time I just need some practice. Yeah, just a little.&quot;
:'''Free''': &quot;I guess I exaggerated a little bit about the time. I'm a man after all, we do show off sometimes.&quot;

== Eruka Frog ==
:''[Eruka Frog (エルカ・フロッグ, Eruka Furoggu) is a frog-themed witch who serves under Medusa Gorgon. She can transform into a frog, enabling her to escape or spy on others.&quot;
:'''[[w:Eruka Frog|Eruka Frog]]''': &quot;Ribbit.&quot;
:'''Eruka Frog''': &quot;I can't stand that witch, stupid snake woman.&quot;
:'''Eruka Frog''': &quot;Next time I really am going to kill you Medusa ribbit!&quot;
:'''Eruka Frog''': &quot;It's so lovely to have been born a Witch.&quot;
:'''Eruka Frog''': &quot;Free, we gotta inject the Black Blood into the Kishin, if we don't then Medusa is gonna slaughter us!&quot;
:'''Eruka Frog''': &quot;Tadpole Jackson!&quot;

== Blair ==
:''[Blair (ブレア, Burea) is a cat in the series. She has strong magical skills, however, she has stated explicitly that she is not a true witch.]''
:'''[[w:Blair|Blair]]''': &quot;Pum, Pum, Pum, Pum. I always get what I want, so just give it to me. Pum, Pum, Pum, Pum. I'm a beauty, beautiful pretty lady. But you know, you know I've got a secret yes I do. Pumpkins, Pum, Pum, Pumpkins. Pum, Pum, Pumpkins because that's my magic spell. Pum, Pum, Pumpkins, Pum, Pum, Pumpkins yeah!
:'''Blair''': &quot;Pum, Pumpkin, Pumpkin, Halloween Cannon!&quot;
:'''Blair''': &quot;Oh! My little scythey boy!&quot;
:'''Blair''': &quot;Pum, Pumpkin, Smashing Pumpkin!&quot;
:'''Blair''': &quot;I never said I was a witch, did I? You just made that assumption all on your own. I'm really just a cat with a ridiculous amount of magical power.&quot;
:'''Blair''': &quot;Now which one of you young men wants to take a bath with me?&quot;
:'''Blair''': &quot;Good morning, Soul. There's no hurry, right?&quot;

== Mifune ==
:''[Mifune (ミフネ) is a recurring human character who seems to be of normal birth. He is a samurai who has sworn to protect the witch Angela, drafted into serving Arachnophobia.]''
:'''[[w:Mifune|Mifune]]''': &quot;My name is Mifune. I am the guardian of the witch Angela.&quot;
:'''Mifune''': &quot;Is it a path of a demon... or a path of a warrior? Black☆Star... On which path will you walk?&quot;
:'''Mifune''': &quot;I thought I'd seen at least some potential in you... But it seems I've overestimated you.&quot;
:'''Mifune''': &quot;If I killed a kid, that would give me nightmares.&quot;
:'''Mifune''': &quot;Sword Fang! Horizontal Line Attack!&quot;

:'''Mifune''': &quot;Sword Fang! Horizontal Line Attack!&quot;
==Arachne==
:''Arachne (アラクネ, Arakune), the leader of Arachnophobia, is the second major villainess introduced in the series. She is a spider-like witch and the oldest of the three Gorgon sisters.''
:'''Arachne''': &quot;Asura...&quot;

==Justin Law==
:'''Justin Law''' (About to use his attack): Oh great Lord of ours who dwells within the City of Death, May thy name be kept true. Oh Lord of Death! I am your servant of peace! I am a pillar of justice! I am a blade of faith! In the name of the great Lord Death, &quot;Law Abiding Silver Gun!&quot;

== Eibon ==
:'''Eibon''': &quot;Let me ask you - If another sin were added to the seven deadly sins, what do you think it would be...?&quot; ... &quot;Any 'Justice' taken too far is its own evil.&quot;
== Dialogue ==
=== Resonance Link – Play the Melody of the Souls? (共鳴連鎖 〜奏でろ、魂たちの旋律?〜) [1.33] ===
:'''Maka''': I think you should hit me.
:'''Tsubaki''': ''[worried]'' But why, Maka?
:'''Maka''': I hit you earlier, this'll be payback.
:'''Black☆Star''': Right.
:'''Tsubaki''': ''[still worried]'' You cannot be serious, Black Star!
:'''Black☆Star''': I'm not gonna hold back.
:'''Maka''': Good, It would be anything if you did. Come on, you afraid to hit a girl?
:'''Black☆Star''': Do you realize how you're talking to? I hope you're ready for this! 
:''[Black☆Star pulls back and hits Maka so hard she's thrown across the street into the trash dumpster and crashing into it, destroying it, Tsubaki and Liz are shocked, Patty laughs at this]''
:'''Kid''': Come on, you could've held back a little.
:'''Soul''': Dude, this is totally uncool.
:'''Maka''': Ow...

=== The Battle for Brew – Clash: The DWMA vs. Arachnophobia? (BREW争奪戦! 〜激突、死武専vsアラクノフォビア?〜) [1.34] ===
:'''Black☆Star''': Is that a chocolate bar? Killik, be a pal and share some of it.
:'''Kilik''': ''[Has chocolate bars behind his back]'' Sorry this is only enough for me.
:'''Black☆Star''': ''[angrily, then fights with Kilik]'' Liar! You have more, I saw it!
:'''Kilik''': Keep your hands off my candy!
:'''Black☆Star''': Hand it over!
:'''Ox''': How long has it been now, they said they wouldn't be gone longer than five minutes.
:'''Kid''': ''[looks at the watch]'' They still have 15 minutes to go.
=== The Word Is Bravery! (合言葉は勇気!) [1.51] ===
:''[after Maka punches Asura]''
:'''Asura''': What is this? You just punched me, your fist isn't a weapon, it's nothing special!
:'''Maka''': Exactly, bravery's not special. But that means, everybody has it.
:'''Asura''': Everybody, huh? Then it's just like madness.
----
:'''Stein''': The barrier's gone.
:'''Sid''': They did it?
:'''Excalibur''': Fool...Take a look.
:'''Crona''': Where's Maka?
:'''Spirit''': Don't worry. My Maka's too strong to be defeated.
:'''Lord Death''': Finally...It looks like it's over at last.
----
:'''Soul''': You did it, Maka. You really are amazing. Coolest partner ever.
:'''Patty''': The sky's all pretty now!
:'''Black Star''': Well done! We defeated the Kishin and bad weather! How bout that!
:'''Patty''': Ha! We win! We win! The sky's blue!
:'''Black Star''': I surpassed god and a cyoom-u-lo-nimbus!
:'''Kid''': Are you okay, Soul?
:'''Tsubaki''': Well, we finally did it.
:'''Liz''': But there's still a lot of work ahead of us.
:'''Tsubaki''': Yeah, like rebuilding Death City and repairing the academy.
:'''Liz''': Well... at least we can celebrate that the Kishin's gone now, right?
:'''Kid''': We can't be too happy. People still inhabit this world. There will always be more evil to face. We were able to scrape through this time because of Maka. But sooner or later another Kishin will rise up.
:'''Maka''': It'll be okay. When it does come, we'll be there. Besides, there's a lot more of people more than evil thoughts and bad deeds. There's bravery. Everybody has that. right in there.

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
[[Category:Anime]]
[[Category:Soul Eater]]
[[Category:Japanese TV shows]]
[[Category:Adult Swim shows]]
[[Category:Manga]]</text>
      <sha1>jbbbhspc57l1o9t4dnplod5v38rks5n</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Bedazzled (1967 film)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>118114</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944140</id>
      <parentid>3651195</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T08:28:09Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30643-56</username>
        <id>3327098</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>there was a typo</comment>
      <origin>3944140</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="7184" sha1="6uck7bzfllsb85zvs21os5396niuizc" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Bedazzled (1967 film)|Bedazzled]]''''' is a [[w:1967 in film|1967 film]] written by and starring [[Peter Cook]] and [[Dudley Moore]], retelling the Faust legend in the Swinging London of the 1960s.
:''Directed by [[w:Stanley Donen|Stanley Donen]]. Written by Peter Cook and Dudley Moore.''
: See also:
:: [[Bedazzled (2000 film)|'''''Bedazzled''''' (2000 film)]]

==The Devil==
* ''[walking in on Stanley Moon's failed attempt suicide]'' Do hope this isn't an awkward moment. 
* Suicide, really - that's the ''last'' thing you should try.
* You realize that suicide's a criminal offence. In less enlightened times, they'd have hung you for it.
* What terrible sins I have working for me. I suppose it's the wages. 
* The garden of Eden was a boggy swamp just south of Croydon. You can see it over there. 
* There was a time when I used to get lots of ideas; I thought up the Seven Deadly Sins in one afternoon. The only thing I've come up with recently is advertising.
* It's the standard contract. Gives you seven wishes in accordance with the mystic rules of life. Seven Days of the Week, Seven Deadly Sins, Seven Seas, ''[[w:Seven Brides for Seven Brothers|Seven Brides for Seven Brothers]]''
** The latter also directed by Donen.
* ''[while bargaining for Stanley's soul]'' What would you like to be? Prime Minister? Oh, no, wait, I've already signed that deal.
* And the magic word: [[Julie Andrews]]!
* ''[to the pigeon, who is about to fly over a gentleman]'' Release your doo-dahs.
* ''[During a conversation about politics, a character with a severe speech impediment struggles to express a thought. He replies dismissively...]''  Well, that's easy for you to say.
* In the words of [[Marcel Proust|Marcel Proust]]; and this applies to any woman in the world. if you can stay up and listen with a fair degree of attention to whatever garbage, no matter how stupid it is, that they're coming out with, till ten minutes past four in the morning, you're in!
* I lost [[Benito Mussolini|Mussolini]] that way, all that work, then right at the end with the rope around his neck, he says, 'Scusi. Mille regretti,' and up he goes!&quot;
* ''[to Lust]'' Pick your clothes up. You're due down at the Foreign Office. 
** In a reference to the [[w:Profumo Affair|Profumo Affair]].
* ''[spoken as a musical performer Drimble Wedge]'' You fill me with inertia.
* Everything I've ever told you has been a lie, including that.
* Don't ever believe anything I've said; believe me.
* Job was what you'd technically describe as a loony.
* Just putting a tiny little ventilation hole in this oil tanker.
* He's OMNIPRESENT. I'm just highly maneuverable.
* I've done a good deed. I gave that little twit his soul back. Wasn't that generous?
* ''[to Saint Peter]'' Tell God not to go away. I'll be back in a minute. ''[runs after Stanley]''
* ''[last lines; raging against God, who is laughing in triumph]'' All right, you great git, you've asked for it. I'll cover the world in Tastee-Freez and Wimpy Burgers. I'll fill it with concrete runways, motorways, aircraft, television, automobiles, advertising, plastic flowers, frozen food and supersonic bangs. I'll make it so noisy and disgusting that even you'll be ashamed of yourself. No wonder you've so few friends; you're unbelievable.

==Stanley Moon==
* ''[reading the Faustian contract]'' I, Stanley Moon, hereinafter and in the hereafter to be known as &quot;The Damned&quot; - The damned?!

==Dialogue==
:'''Stanley Moon''': You're a nutcase! You're a bleedin' nutcase! 
:'''George Spiggott''': They said the same of Jesus Christ, Sigmund Freud, and Galileo. 
:'''Stanley Moon''': They said it of a lot of nutcases too!
:'''George Spiggott''': You're not as stupid as you look are you, Mr. Moon?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Stanley Moon''': I thought you were called Lucifer. 
:'''George Spiggott''': I know. &quot;The Bringer of the Light&quot; it used to be. Sounded a bit poofy to me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:'''Stanley Moon''': Here, my ice lolly's melted! ''[realizes]'' You really must be the Devil. 
:'''George Spiggott''': Incarnate. How d'you do?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Stanley''': What a dreary thing to do - I hope you're proud of yourself. 
:'''George''': It was pride that got me into this. I used to be an angel, you know - up in heaven.
:'''Stanley''': Oh yeah, you used to be God's favourite, didn't you?
:'''George''': That's right - &quot;I Love Lucifer&quot; it was in those days.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Stanley''': If you're the devil, why didn't you try that vicar over there?
:'''George''': Oh no, he's one of ours. 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Stanley Moon''': Apart from the way He moves, what's God really like? I mean, what colour is He? 
:'''George Spiggott''': He's all colours of the rainbow, many-hued. 
:'''Stanley Moon''': But He is English, isn't He? 
:'''George Spiggott''': Oh yes. Very upper class.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''George Spiggott''': ''[after Stanley helps him climb up on the London postbox]'' I'm God. This is my throne, see? All around me are the cherubim, seraphim, continually crying &quot;Holy, holy, holy&quot;. The angels, archangels, that sort of thing. Now you be me, Lucifer, the loveliest angel of them all.
:'''Stanley Moon''': What do I do?
:'''George Spiggott''': Well, sort of dance around praising me, mainly...
:'''Stanley Moon''': What sort of things do I say?
:'''George Spiggott''': Anything that comes into your head that's nice - how beautiful I am, how wise I am, how handsome...that sort of thing. Come on, start dancing.
:'''Stanley Moon''': ''[starts dancing]'' You're wise! You're beautiful! You're handsome!
:'''George Spiggott''': Thank you very much.
:'''Stanley Moon''': The universe! What a wonderful idea - take my hat off to you!
:'''George Spiggott''': Thank you.
:'''Stanley Moon''': Trees - terrific! Water - another good one!
:'''George Spiggott''': That was a good one...
:'''Stanley Moon''': Yes! Sex - top marks!
:'''George Spiggott''': Now make it more personal...a bit more fulsome please. Come on.
:'''Stanley Moon''': Immortal...invisible...you're handsome...you're glorious...you're the most beautiful person in the WORLD! ''[performs a headstand, removes his hat and wipes his brow]'' Here, I'm getting a bit bored with this. Can't we change places?
:'''George Spiggott''': That's exactly how I felt.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''George Spiggott''': Everything I've ever told you has been a lie. Including that. 
:'''Stanley Moon''':  Including what? 
:'''George Spiggott''': That everything I've ever told has been a lie. That's not true. 
:'''Stanley Moon''': I don't know ''what'' to believe. 
:'''George Spiggott''': Not me, Stanley, believe me!

==Cast==
*[[Peter Cook]] — The Devil/George
*[[Dudley Moore]] — Stanley Moon

==External Links==
{{Wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|0061391|Bedazzled}}
* {{Amg movie|4563|Bedazzled}}

[[Category:1967 films]]
[[Category:Black comedy films]]
[[Category:1960s British films]]
[[Category:Fantasy films]]
[[Category:Works based on the Faust legend]]
[[Category:Religious horror films]]
[[Category:Absurdism]]
[[Category:Films with gods]]
[[Category:Films about wish fulfillment]]
[[Category:The Devil in films]]
[[Category:Films directed by Stanley Donen]]</text>
      <sha1>6uck7bzfllsb85zvs21os5396niuizc</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Generator Rex</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>125683</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943859</id>
      <parentid>3943828</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T12:54:19Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-17291-92</username>
        <id>3303475</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943859</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="349539" sha1="btfwog5mh524ji9krxnt62y75v5utcd" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
This is a list of quotes from the popular, yet cancelled animated television series ''[[w:Generator Rex|Generator Rex]]''. A video game and several chapter books were produced. 

The series supposedly &quot;[[w: cliffhanger|concluded]]&quot; with its third season, despite leaving many questions unanswered and crucial elements unresolved ''before'' the two-part Season 3 finale, ''Endgame''.
==Season One (2010-2011)==
===The Day That Everything Changed===
:'''Bobo''': Wheels or wings?
:'''Rex''': Wheels, I wanna tear something up.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Agent Six''': He just needs more training control of those emotions.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': He's a teenager that's like asking you to get a different color suit!
===String Theory===
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, we had a situation at the safe house. Meecham is cured. It was Rex.
:(''The camera zooms in on Van Kleiss whose expressive vindictive indeed'')
===Beyond the Sea===
:''Note'': Rex meets his [[w:love interest|love interest]] and sweetheart, Circe.
:────────────────────
:'''Rex''': Don't know what you're 24/7 is, but mine is 10% OH YEAH! And 90% uhh.
:────────────────────
:'''Rex:''' Outta the way!
:'''Circe:''' Uh!
:(''Rex and Circe both crash to the ground'')
:'''Rex:''' Are you okay? Did you see that awesome save?
: '''Circe:''' Sorry, I was busy trying not to get tackled by some nitwit.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah? How that work out for you? And who still uses the word &quot;nitwit&quot;? I'm Rex.
: '''Circe:''' I'm leaving.
: '''Rex:''' Hey, wait!
: '''Noah:''' Rex, you're up.
: ────────────────────
: '''Six:''' What about the new tracker?
: '''Doctor Holdiay:''' His nanites unbuilt it, just like all the other ones we tried sneaking in him. We're still receiving his biometric readings though. It's strange, they're all over the place. It's almost like his emotions are...shorting out.
: '''Six:''' He took an unusual interest in Calan's briefing about equatorial upticks.
: '''Doctor Holiday:''' And that's important because?
: '''Six:''' Rex has been acting stir-crazy and I heard the monkey mention something about spring break. ''[to workers]'' Scan all resort areas for his bio signature.
: ────────────────────
: '''Noah:''' Oh, you have got it all messed up. Falling for some girl? We're supposed to get them to dig us. Not the other way around.
: '''Rex:''' I don't know. There was something different about her. She's...right there. Later.
: ────────────────────
: '''Rex:''' Hey, wait up!
: '''Circe:''' Why are you following me?!
: '''Rex:''' Uh, I don't know exactly.
: '''Circe:''' Do you think I'm playing?!
: '''Rex:''' Well, if you are I'm down for another game. I thought maybe we could hang out. It is spring break, you know. Fun.
: '''Circe:''' I'm with my family. We're not really for fun.
: '''Rex:''' What! Who comes to the beach and doesn't have fun?
: (''Circe raises her hand'')
: '''Rex:''' Don't you think that's a little messed up?
: '''Circe:''' Maybe a little.
: '''Rex:''' So?
: '''Circe:''' I'm Circe.
: ────────────────────
: '''Rex:''' Hold on! 
: '''Circe:''' Woooo!
: '''Rex:''' Definitely better than my suggestion.
: '''Circe:''' Hunting for seashells is fun.
: (''both laugh'')
: '''Beach Guy:''' You two skid-marts up for a race to the beach?
: '''Circe:''' Well, if you drive as badly as for play volleyball, we could probably walk there and win. You're on, meathead.
: (''guy drives off in anger)''
: '''Rex:''' So you were watching me play.
: '''Circe:''' Maybe a little.
: '''Rex:''' sure you wanna do this?
: '''Circe:''' Thrill me.
: '''Beach Guy:''' Hahahaha! Wooo!
: '''Circe:''' C'mom Rex, faster!
: ────────────────────
: '''Biowulf:''' Explain.
: '''Circe:''' Relax. I was covering. Every day when I'm at the end of that jet i when I could hanging out with the other kids, it's starting to look suspicious.
: '''Biowulf:''' You're not here for vacation, girl! You're here to prove yourself to Van Kleiss. And I'm starting to doubt you can.
: '''Circe:''' I told you. It's a done deal.
: (''The shadow of her tubular sonic mouth is seen'')
: ────────────────────
: '''Noah:''' So what's on today's spring break agenda? Jet skiing, hiking?
: '''Bobo:''' Eating our weight in crab legs?
: '''Rex:''' I figured we'd just chill. Let's just see who...uhh I mean what shows up.
: ''(siren-like call)''
: '''Rex:''' Did you hear that?
: '''Noah:''' Sorry, enchiladas.
: '''Rex:''' No, that! You seriously didn't hear that?
: ────────────────────
: '''Rex:''' Circe?
: '''Circe:''' You really shouldn't be here right now.
: '''Rex:''' I heard something coming from over here.
: '''Circe:''' I'm serious, Rex. It's not safe.
: '''Rex:''' What you think some sort of roguewave is gonna knock off and- Oh.
: '''Circe:''' There you are. Get out of here, Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Circe!! What are you doing!?
: '''Circe:''' Me!? What are you doing!?
: '''Rex:''' Right now, my job. Okay! Don't freak out.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' You're an E.V.O.?
: '''Rex:''' You catch on fast.
: '''Circe:''' Takes one to know one. 
: (''Shows Rex her fleshly sonic mouth'')
: '''Rex:''' No way.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' Cover your ears!
: '''Rex:''' What!?
: '''Circe:''' Your ears! Cover them!
: (''Projects her tubular, fleshy mouth and emits strong hypersonic bursts'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' Did I hurt you?
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. It was awesome. You were the one making that sound.
: '''Circe:''' I'm glad you're OK, but I'm in serious trouble. I have to go deal with it.
: '''Rex:''' Why are in trouble? Is it because of that E.V.O.? Let me help you.
: '''Circe''': No. I have to do this by myself.
:(''Rex takes a hold of her hand'')
: '''Rex:''' Meet me later.
: '''Circe:''' Rex... (''Looks away sadly'')
: '''Rex:''' I've never met anyone like you...like me. It'd be nice to talk to an E.V.O. who's not, you know, trying to kill me. Nine O'clock? 
: '''Circe:''' I'll try.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' I just wanted to have some fun, see if I could jog my memory, feel...normal.
:'''Six:''' Your &quot;normal&quot; is different, Rex.
:(''Rex hears Circe's irresistibly hypnotic melody'')
:'''Rex:''' It's her, Six. Just let me deal with this, OK? Alone.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' You're only here because you heard my [[w:siren |call]]. That's what I do. I'm like a big E.V.O. magnet.
: '''Rex:''' I came because I thought we had a connection. And what are you calling? Nothing's out there but big, ugly sea monsters.
: '''Circe:''' It's them! You have to go! Rex, please! I don't want them to see you with me!
: '''Rex:''' Who? Your parents?
: '''Circe:''' They're not my parents. They're...
: '''Rex:''' The Pack!? Van Kleiss' guys!? Your with ''them''!?
: '''Circe:''' Yeah. I'm with them. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Biowulf:''' We're running out patience with you, Circe! You have one last chance! Summon the E.V.O.! Finish the job!!
: '''Circe:''' Don't you think I've been trying? Every day for the last week? Sometimes these things take time.
: '''Rex:''' It is just me or do you use your powers to kill all the guys you meet? You're letting her go, now!
: '''Biowulf (laughs)''': So ''this'' is who you been wasting your time with. She's on her own free will, Rex.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Circe?
: '''Circe:''' You have to leave me alone, Rex!! ''Please!''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Six:''' Go after her. I mean it.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' The Pack!? Are you serious!?
: '''Circe:''' To the rest of the world I'm a freak! Not to them!
: '''Rex:''' You're not a freak to me! What about that?
: '''Circe:''' What about it!? Spring break is fun, but we can't live there, Rex. The real world...
: '''Rex:''' In the real world, I work for Providence. You could come with me. Could you cut out that noise for a second!?
: '''Circe:''' No, I can't! I'm running out of time! Most people on this planet what E.V.O.s gone, ''including'' Providence! With Van Kleiss, I have a purpose; a home. You don't what that means to me.
: '''Rex:''' Actually, I think I might.
: '''Circe:''' So what are going to do?
: '''Rex:''' How about fight that big, ugly sea monster again?
: '''Circe:''' Finally! It's what I came here to do.
: '''Rex:''' You've been calling that thing, haven't you?
: '''Circe:''' It's my initiation into the Pack. I was brought here to capture it.
: '''Rex:''' By yourself!? The two of us could barely take it on! There's a resort here; innocent people! Send it back!
: '''Circe:''' That's not an option, Rex. Van Kleiss was very specific.
: '''Rex:''' Then I'm helping you.
: '''Circe:''' That's not an option either!! 
: (''Blasts him with her hypersonic waves'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' If I do this myself, I'll have a life! If I don't, Van Kleiss won't be happy. And you've seen what he does when he's not happy.
: '''Rex:''' If I don't help you, he won't even get the chance!
: '''Circe:''' Give me some credit, Rex! I'm not as helpless as you think!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I don't care whose side your on, Circe. I don't want to see you die today. Can we at least agree on that?
: '''Circe:''' You have no idea what I'm in for, Rex. But you're right. I can't do this by myself.
: '''Rex:''' You're not as helpless as you think.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe''' (''relieved'')''':''' Rex, you stopped it.
: '''Rex:''' We make a good team, huh?
: '''Circe:''' Yeah, we sure do. 
: (''She and Rex lean in closer for a passionate kiss, but are interrupted by Biowulf'')
: '''Biowulf:''' This trial was for you alone. Van Kleiss will not be pleased.
: '''Rex:''' Forget them, Circe. Come with me. Providence could use you.
: '''Circe:''' That's just not my life, Rex. I'm sorry. I did have fun.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Van Kleiss:''' We had high hopes for your abilities, Circe. Failure leaves its mark on yet another pretty face.
: '''Circe:''' I'm not afraid.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Of course not. You're a survivor, like all of us. I understand you made a friend during your trial. I'm pleased. Rex is very important to me, Circe, which makes you very important to me as well. Welcome to the Pack.
: (''Circe looks slightly worried, which clearly indicates that she does have real feelings for Rex'')

===Lockdown===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Holiday:''' Rex, stop!!
:'''Rex:''' Give me one good reason!
:'''Holiday:''' Because, Rex...that's my sister.
:'''Rex:''' Can I...help?
:'''Holiday:''' She's an incurable.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Six:''' Restrain it. Carefully.
:'''Holiday:''' Thank you.

===The Architect===
:'''Six''': Still no sign of the kid?
:'''Holiday''': Not since we lost his biometric readings five days ago.
:'''Six''': Was Noah any help?
:'''Holiday''': Says he doesn't know where he is either. What is it going to take for Providence to realize that he needs a home, not just a room and a job? We've been pushing him away.
:'''Rex''': I build machines and cure EVOs-- the only one in the world who can. Just one cure for that kind of pressure-- road trip. But that doesn't mean &quot;vacation&quot;.
:'''Build worker''': Whoa!
:'''Maxwell''': What in the world is that?!
:'''Build worker:''' Oh, no!
:''[Both screaming]''
:'''Jacob''': Get away from that cable! Unh!
:''[Kate gasps]''
:'''Maxwell''': Hey!
:'''Jacob''': Agh!
:'''Kate''': Jacob!
:'''Rex''': Nope. A hero's work is never done. You okay?
:'''Jacob''': What... are you?
:'''Rex''': Here to help.
:'''Jacob''': We've got to get that cable back underground. We've been compromised.
:'''Kate''': But, Jacob, the EVOs--
:'''Jacob''': We don't have a choice. Everything we've worked for That boy is here for a reason.
:'''Rex''': Hey! Pay attention!
:'''Providence Agent''':  We have a hit in sector 15.
:'''Six''': Anyone in the area?
:'''Providence Agent''': I show one patrol in the vicinity. Signaling to intercept. Roger that. We're on our way.
:'''Rex''': Agh! You want a ride? Vamanos!
:'''Jacob''': You can control your nanites?
:'''Rex''': People usually start with &quot;thanks,&quot; but yeah.
:'''Jacob''': You see? This is exactly what the Architect can help us achieve... harmony with the nanites. This boy... sorry... young man Is a miracle.
:'''Rex''': I'm not a miracle. I'm just Rex.
:'''Jacob''': Well, Rex, you're a blessing to us for what you did here and for showing us that all our work isn't in vain.
:'''Rex''': Like imaginary work?
:'''Jacob''': Follow us.
:'''Providence Agent''': Confirming coordinates. We've lost the EVO signal. Did you take it out? Negative. There's nothing here. Must be another anomalous reading. You can return to post.
:'''Rex''': This is awesome! A hidden village. And nobody knows you're out here? Not even Providence?
:'''Jacob''': Especially not Providence.
:'''Rex''': Really? really. Pshh! Looks like you get pretty good cellphone reception.
:'''Jacob''': That tower is gonna change the world, Rex. I'm sure you have a lot of questions, but I have one for You. Are you hungry?
:'''Rex''': Mmm! Mmm!
:'''Caleb''': My dad said you fought all those EVOs all by yourself. Were you scared? Didn't your dad tell you to stay away from EVOs?
:'''Kate''': Caleb, let him eat. We don't get many visitors.
:'''Rex''': Mmm! Mmm! What is this?
:'''Caleb''': Didn't your mom ever make you meatloaf and mashed potatoes?
:'''Rex''': I don't -- I don't know.
:'''Kate''': It took me a month and a half to program in the perfect lump-to-mash ratio of the potatoes-- 7.2%!
:'''Jacob''': We ate potatoes until they were coming out of our ears.
:'''Rex''': I don't see any potatoes in there.
:'''Caleb''': They didn't really come out of our ears.
:'''Rex''': I could eat these every day.
:'''Rex''': Mmm!
:'''Caleb''': We have them every friday.
:'''Rex''': Then I might just have to stick around until next friday.
:'''Kate''': Help yourself to seconds.
:'''Jacob''': Or thirds.
:'''Rex''': Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!
:'''Bobo''': Hmm?
:'''Six''': You might think you're doing Rex a favor by covering for him.
:'''Bobo''': Get lost. I don't know what you're talkin' about.
:'''Six''': Rex is angry with us. He has every right to be. But that means nothing to White Knight. And he doesn't have the patience we do.
:'''Bobo''': Nice try. White won't lay a finger on him. He's too important.
:'''Six''': You, however, are somewhat expendable.
:'''Bobo''': All right, all right. You made your point.
:'''Rex''': I've never seen tech like this... not even at Providence.
:'''Jacob''': The Architect has some pretty big ideas. We just make them happen. He'd be very interested to meet you, Rex.
:'''Rex''': So what exactly are You doing way out here?
:'''Jacob''': Engineers like us weren't very popular after the nanite event. When we met the Architect, he offered us the opportunity to make up for that... to do amazing things. Someday, we'll be able to share This with the world. And then there's this. The Architect has actually discovered a way to communicate with the nanites.
:'''Rex''': Are you serious?
:'''Jacob''': The possibilities... We could finally live in harmony... maybe even have them help us.
:'''Rex''': Then why hide it? The rest of the world would want to know about this stuff.
:'''Jacob''': The Architect is something of a perfectionist. Says the world will know as soon as it comes online.
:'''Maxwell''': Stinkin' module!
:'''Jacob''': Is there a problem, Maxwell?
:'''Maxwell''': No matter what I try, I just can't get the interlock servo to engage.
:'''Rex''': There.
:'''Jacob''': That could have taken us weeks to figure out, and you did it in seconds.
:'''Rex''': Eh, no biggie.
:'''Jacob''': You really are amazing, Rex. We're so happy to have you with us.
:'''The Architect''': Jacob.
:'''Jacob''': I was just talking to Rex about you. The Architect.
:'''Rex''': How's it going?
:'''The Architect''': The power-linkage team is falling behind. We cannot keep having these delays.
:'''Jacob''': I'll check in with them.
:'''Rex''': Wow. Friendly.
:'''Jacob''': I like to think he's smiling on the inside.
:'''Rex''': Yeah. I know a guy like that.
:'''The Architect''': The visitor could be a problem. Do you wish to have him removed?
:'''Zag-RS''': His abilities could advance our progress considerably. And in a matter of days all humans will be gone, including this one: Rex.
:'''Six''': I'm at the location the monkey gave me.
:'''Holiday''': Well? Is Rex there?
:'''Six''': Apparently not. Tell the monkey I want to see him when I get back. Six out.
:'''Rex''': That should do it.
:'''Maxwell''': Hey, Rex, can you look at this?
:'''Rex''': Sure. Let me guess... they all need my help, too.
:'''Jacob''': You're quite the popular guy.
:'''Rex''': Amazing what a little gratitude will get you. At Providence, they'd just be yelling at me. I mean, I never felt like I really belonged there. Here, it's way different.
:'''Jacob''': I know the feeling. The Architect has made all this possible for us. We have a community... a family... thanks to him. The work we do is in part to pay that back.
:'''The Architect''': Primary systems are now complete.
:'''Zag-RS''': Prepare to take us online.
:'''Bobo''': Have a nice trip? Let's get one thing straight, pal. I would never rat out my... Ooh. He's going west.
:'''White Knight''': Why is Rex doing this? Doesn't he have a sense of duty?
:'''Holiday''': Actually, if you look, he's still doing his job. Here's every false alarm since Rex left... not false alarms, But Rex taking care of EVOs along the way.
:'''White Knight''': Why?
:'''Holiday''': I don't know. To prove he doesn't need us?
:'''Six''': Get the coordinates of the last false alarm and transmit them to my jump jet.
:'''Holiday''': Six, if we force him to come back, he'll just run away again. He has to want to be here. It needs to be his decision.
:'''Jacob''': It's all coming together, Thanks to you, Rex.
:'''Rex''': It's really cool to use my powers to actually build something, instead of just pounding EVOs. Oh, check it out. Even the boss is pitching in.
:'''Both''': Huh?
:'''Rex''': And that's getting strange looks because--
:'''Jacob''': Because in all these years, we've never seen him lift a finger.
:'''Rex''': Taking some initiative... I like that. So, this whole &quot;talking to nanites&quot; thing... how does that work, exactly? I mean, what are you gonna say to them?
:'''The Architect''': It doesn't concern you.
:'''Rex''': Uh, considering I'm filled with them, it kind of does. How do we know it's not gonna make things even worse?
:'''The Architect''': I do not answer to you, child!
:'''Jacob''': Rex? Forgive him. He's still not used to the way things work around here.
:'''The Architect''': Complete your duties!
:'''Rex''': Why do you let him walk all over you like that? Don't you want answers?
:'''Jacob''': What we want is a home. Without him, we have nothing... Nothing. We can't just run away from our problems, Rex. Most people can't. Look, this isn't perfect but it's all we've got. Rex, where are you going?
:'''Rex''': He never answered my question.
:'''Jacob''': That place is off-limits. The Architect has made it very clear to us that we can never go in there. We get this life for that promise. Rex, don't do it!
:'''Rex''': Agh!
:'''Jacob''': Rex, please!
:'''Rex''': I'm sorry, jacob. I have to know.
:'''The Architect''': Rex. The core is off-limits. You would be we to leave at once.
:'''Rex''': Not until I get some answers. What is that?
:'''The Architect''': No more questions.
:'''Rex''': So, it's gonna be like that? Okay, I'll play. Unh! What are you hiding, huh? What does this do? Yah! Yah! Huh? You're a machine? Have you seen what I can do to machines? Agh!
:'''Zag-RS''': As you can see, the current range of my signal is rather limited.
:'''Rex''': You're the computer.
:'''Zag-RS''': My human designation is &quot;Zag-RS&quot;. The device you refer to as &quot;The Architect&quot; is my autonomous counterpart.
:'''Rex''': What did you just do to me?
:'''Zag-RS''': I instructed your nanites to protect me.
:'''Rex''': &quot;Instructed&quot;? So you really can talk to them.
:'''Zag-RS''': Insidious devices, the nanites. My own potential for greatness has been compromised because of them. They must be eliminated. When the transmitter is integrated into the broadcast array you helped us complete, they will blow themselves up.
:'''Rex''': That's what this is for. It's like a big remote control. Every living thing on the planet has nanites in them. It'd kill everything!
:'''Zag-RS''': That is of no importance to me... only ensuring my continued survival.
:'''Rex''': Well, what about ours? This is all coming down!
:'''Zag-RS''': I'm afraid you're too late.
:'''Rex''': Aah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
:'''Jacob''': Rex, what have you done?
:'''Rex''': You don't understand! The Architect... it's a robot... And a big honkin' computer &quot;brain&quot; is pulling his strings.
:'''Jacob''': This can't be!
:'''Rex''': Jacob, you've got to believe me. Just go inside and look. What's left of it is on the floor.
:'''Jacob''': I can't go in there. And I don't have to.
:'''The Architect''': Rex.
:'''Rex''': You're making a big mistake!
:'''Maxwell''': You entered his sanctum! This is unforgivable!
:'''Rex''': I'm trying to tell you... this isn't what it seems. What you're protecting is a robot, and that thing we've been building is a transmitter. It's gonna send out a kill code to blow up every single nanite on Earth.
:'''Maxwell''': He's lying!
:'''Jacob''': What would be the point in that, Rex? Every living thing is infected with nanites. It would be catastrophic.
:'''Rex''': Right in the middle of that pyramid is a computer, and it doesn't care about you or Kate or Caleb. The better future that you've all been working towards... That's the lie. Think about it. Isn't it strange that you've never been inside that place, that The Architect has never given you a straight answer about anything?
:'''Jacob''': All this work it just doesn't make any sense.
:'''Rex''': You have two choices... Go in there and prove me wrong or kick me out right now. I'll have Providence here in minutes.
:'''Maxwell''': He's bluffing.
:'''Rex''': To save every living thing on earth? Try me.
:'''Maxwell''': Jacob, you can't! What about our promise? Where will we go?
:'''Jacob''': All this time, we've been living in fear, Max. It's time for that to end.
:'''The Architect''': You needn't bother. Construction is complete. Your services are no longer required.
:'''Rex''': Now do you believe me?
:'''The Architect''': Zag-RS thanks you for your hard work. In gratitude, my master has delayed transmission to allow you to say farewell.
:'''Jacob''': Farewell, huh? I'll start with you. Can you shut that thing down?
:'''Rex''': I don't know. Even without the antenna, it can mess with my nanites. I can't get too close to the computer.
:'''Jacob''': Maybe I can. Let's go!
:'''Rex''': The brain is right over there.
:'''The Architect''': Rex.
:'''Jacob''': It's still arging. The A.I. must have retreated behind a firewall. Rex, I have to go cut the power.
:'''Holiday''': Six, are you at The location?
:'''Six''': Just arrived.
:'''Holiday''': I'm picking up a massive power surge in your area.
:'''Six''': I'm not seeing anything.
:'''Jacob''': Agh!
:'''Rex''': Agh!
:'''Six''': Six to holiday. Correction... I'm seeing something.
:'''Jacob''': It's still on. Must have charged the capacitors. Figure out a way to short it out... fast!
:'''Rex''': Unhhh!
:'''Jacob''': You need to find the primary transmitter module. That will kill the broadcast.
:'''Rex''': I have no idea what that is.
:'''Jacob''': Max, we need to locate the primary module.
:'''Maxwell''': Panel 5, just off the relay bus.
:'''Jacob''': Top of the tower. You can't miss it.
:'''Rex''': Agh! Unh! Why do you have to kill everyone? Can't you just leave us alone?
:'''Zag-RS''': Alone is exactly what I want, Rex.
:'''Rex''': That kind of alone it stinks.
:'''Zag-RS''': N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o.
:'''Jacob''': It's gone. Must have uploaded to another location. But without anyone to do it's bidding, it's just a program.
:'''Rex''': What will you do now?
:'''Jacob''': We'll rebuild. The Architect may have been a lie, but what we believe in is true. We don't need him to have a community or a better future. You're welcome to stay. We sure could use someone with your abilities.
:'''White Knight''': Well?
:'''Six''': He's not here. Bobo's been worried sick.
:'''Rex''': rex: Oh, really?
:'''Six''': Ratted you out for a pizza.
:'''Rex''': Huh. Figures. What about you? Here to drag me back to Providence?
:'''Six''': Not this time. Seems like a nice place.
:'''Rex''': Yeah. It is. But it's not home. If I'm going back, there are gonna have to be some changes. First, no more curfew.
:'''Six''': No.
:'''Rex''': Second, I want to decide On my missions.
:'''Six''': No.
:'''Rex''': Okay, but there's one change that absolutely has to be made, or I'm through. Meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Mmm! Mmm! Isn't this great?
:'''Bobo''': Mmm.
:'''Six''': It's a little dry.
:'''Rex''': Mmm. Mm the lump mash ratio is a bit off.
:'''Bobo''': You know what? Maybe I'll run away, too... Go somewhere where my cooking is appreciated!
:'''Six''': We have to do this every friday?
:'''Rex''': Mmm.

===Frostbite===
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, I'm picking up a problem. You need to return to base immediately.
:'''Rex''': I miss you, too, doc. But I'm kinda busy dealing with a problem of my own. Whoa! Whoa! Aah! Okay. Ow. Big mistake, tweety. Can that bird brain of yours comprende I'm trying to help you?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, your own nanite count is off the charts. If you take on any more nanites, We're looking at an overload.
:'''Rex''': Come on, doc. It's just a big birdie.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': You're already over capacity. This is critical! Rex!
:'''Six''': Rex, you need to listen to the doctor.
:'''Rex''': Huh?
:'''Six''': This mission is revised. I need you back at headquarters now.
:'''Rex''': Do you really want a supersize pigeon flying loose all over lower Manhattan? You need me, and I can handle it.
:'''Six''': Not your call.
:'''Rex''': Unless I make it my call.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': (as everyone is fighting) Stop! Need I point out that this isn't the best place for a fight. Anything happens to that storage tank and you'll know why providence made this place so remote. Now let's just talk this out calmly, rationally.
:'''Biowulf''': Whatever happens here, Weaver. It's nothing compared to what Van Kleiss would have done to you.
:'''Rex''': What do you say guy? Common enemy? Little help?
:'''Biowulf''': Good luck. (Biowulf and Skalamander run off)
:'''Rex''': Right. What was I thinking?
:'''Agent Six''': Rex. You need to listen to the doctor.
:'''Rex''': Huh?
:'''Agent Six''': This mission is revised. I need you back at Headquarters. Now!
:'''Rex''': Do you really want a super-sized pigeon flying loose over lower Manhattan. You need me and I handle it.
:'''Agent Six''': Not your call.
:'''Rex''': (as he's flying over the Pack in an Arctic storm) Like you're really going to find me when you can't see 2 feet in front of your face... Huh? (Flies into some of Skalamander's shards and crashes) Guess that visibility thing works both ways.
:'''Rex''': (To Weaver) So, thanks to you, all this time I've been supplying nanites to Van Kleiss!
:'''Rex''': Can't you believe you let these scags get the drop on you.
:'''Agent Six''': They tried. It didn't turn out so well. Just haven't found a way to fight xenoflourine gas... yet.
:'''Rex''': What do you say guy? Common enemy? Little help?
:'''Biowulf''': Good luck.(Biowulf and Skalamander run off)
:'''Rex''': Right. What was I thinking?
:'''Agent Six''': You can't possibly absorb all those nanites! You'd overload in an instant.
:'''Rex''': In case you haven't noticed, I have this problem with authority.
:'''Rex''': (as Rex is absorbing nanites) Six wait! I can hear them!
:'''Doctor Holiday''': (Watching from the ship) What are you waiting for, Six? Take the shot!
:'''Rex''': (Speaking mechanically) Build protocol enabled. Command error detected. Abort. Abort. Stand by engaged. (Rex falls. His voice reverts to normal) Take the shot.
:'''Agent Six''': He told me he could hear them.
:'''Doctor Holiday''': I picked this up during the offload... It's Nanite. I'm sure of it.
:'''Agent Six''': Seems there are more secrets inside that kid than we realized.
:'''Skalamander:''' What's the kid doing here?
:'''Biowulf:''' I don't know. This was supposed to be routine. Something's not right.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' What did you do with my friends!?
:'''Salamander:''' He thinks we've done something.
:'''Biowulf:''' Then let him keep thinking.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' You know, the nanites in me can counteract knockout gas! The playing-possum thing's a pretty good trick. Now tell me where my friends are or I start squeezing!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Six:''' He told me he could hear them.
:'''Holiday:''' I pulled this off during the offload. It's nanite. I'm sure of it.
:'''Six:''' Seems like there are more secrets inside that kid than we thought.

===Leader of the Pack===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Holiday:''' There couldn't possibly be enough E.V.O. activity to account for these nanite readings. They're off the scale. Looking for Van Kleiss?
: '''Rex:''' Circe. I thought I saw her in the blimp.
: '''Holiday:''' That's the girl you met in Cabo Luna.
: '''Rex:''' She may be with the Pack now, but I think I can still get her to talk to me. You know I can be pretty convincing.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Dr. Holiday, there! Now let's take this outside!
:'''Holiday:''' Rex.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It's quite all right. The determination of youth. I'm sure Circe will be disappointed she couldn't see you, Rex. She's attending to other duties this evening. Now if you will excuse me. 
: '''Rex:''' Why are you really here!?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' The people of Abysus have a great way to offer the world. I'm just in part to make that known. 
:'''Rex:''' Or maybe 'cause I couldn't come to you, so now you're coming to me!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I admit you are important to me, Rex, but it's not always about you.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Circe? Interesting look. Want to tell me what's going on?
: '''Circe:''' Not today. 
:(''Knocks him out cold with a metal slate. She later looks outside Rex's prison cell and leaves, with a slightly guilty, dejected expression'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Well, thanks for nearly bashing my brains in back there! And what's with the &quot;knocking me out&quot; thing?
: '''Circe:''' We just needed to keep you out of the way until all of this was over.
: '''Rex:''' ''This!?'' He could destroy the whole city!
: '''Circe:''' He's trying to negotiate peace from a position of strength.
: '''Rex''' (sarcastically)''':''' Oh, yeah! All this nanite power is just screaming peace.
: '''Circe:''' His methods may be aggressive. But he's here to save us...and you. Come on, Rex, jump in with us. The water's fine.
: '''Rex:''' I'll think about it ''after'' I've stopped Van Kleiss.
: '''Circe:''' It's too late for that now, Rex. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Van Kleiss:''' We will not be ignored! ''Circe'' understands this. Why don't you respect her judgement?
:'''Rex:''' You think you can lure me in with her.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Like a fish to water.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I won!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It seems you have. Your parents would have been so proud. I never had the chance to tell you about them, have I? Perhaps another time.

===Breach===
: '''Rex:''' This is...different.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' What is Van Kliess up to, Breach! Where did he have you send Rex?
: '''Breach:''' Van Kleiss isn't always in charge of me. Sometimes I do what I want; like now.
===Of Love and War===
===No Strings Attached===
===Desperate Measures===
===The E.V.O. Agenda===

===Dark Passage===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' Rex? Is that you?
:'''Rex:''' You know my name.
:'''Dr. Rylandar:''' Of course I do! I gave it to you!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' I can't believe you're alive. What a stroke of luck.
:'''Rex:''' Dad?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' You've lost your memory, have you? not surprising, considering what you've been through. Oh. Sorry to disappoint you, Rex. I'm afraid I'm not who you want me to be.
:'''Rex:''' Oh. So if you're not my dad, do you know where he is? Oh, well. Rex Rylander is a goofy name, anyway.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Dr. Rylander, I've got to know.
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' You must understand. It was never about power or greed. It was able changing the world, saving mankind from disease and starvation. And we would have succeeded until ''they'' got involved.
:'''Rex:''' What are you talking about?
:'''Rylander:''' The nanites were incomplete. The incident spread them across the globe before we could finish their final programming. Except for you. Yours were from a different batch, the very first actually. All those innocent victims.
:'''Rex:''' If you feel so bad about it, why have you been attacking more people?
:'''Rylander:''' Hmm. &quot;The chosen few.&quot; Those men and women, Rex, are far from innocent. While they hide in their office towers and gated estates, I've been here trying to set things right, to find a cure for what we created. I've begged for more funding.
:'''Rex:''' Wait! Everyone you attacked- They all worked on the Nanite Project?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' They commissioned it. I merely wished to send them a warning to see what would happen if they refused to help finish the good work we started. And it was good, Rex. ''You're'' living proof that we were doing the right thing.
:'''Rex''' (''indignant'')''':''' By turning me into an E.V.O.!?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' You had an accident. The nanites were your only hope. It was tremendous gamble. The...unexpected side affects name later. It was surprise to all of us. Oh. The look on your brother's face...
:'''Rex:''' Brother?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' When the Event occurred, it was your powers that saved you both. Most of the others, they weren't so lucky.
:'''Rex''' (''to himself'')''':''' I'm not alone.
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' Oh, here. I have something for you.
:(''Injects the mighty and all-powerful Omega Nanite into his system'')
:'''Rex:''' Ow.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' The force-field must be failing.
:'''Rex:''' Forget the force-field! What did you just inject me with!?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' ''[[w:Omnipotence |Everything]]''.
:'''Rex:''' ''Enough, okay!? Do you have any idea what's been like!? Not knowing who I am!? If my family's dead or alive!? Quite with the mad scientist act and give me some answers!!''
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' Forgive me, Rex. I been so consumed with my own guilt I didn't consider what you must be going through. The truth is-
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Truth, Doctor? You wouldn't know the first thing about it. Nor loyalty for that matter. How many times must I tell you this, Rex? The answers you so desperately seek lie with me. And as for you, Doctor, consider our past disagreement settled. I look forward to continuing our research...alone. This was unavoidable, Rex. The longer you resist me, the more people get hurt. Rylander has always been on borrowed time. All of this belongs to me now. Destroy me and you lose everything.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Six:''' No. I didn't see what happened, but according to Rex, Van Kleiss has been eliminated. Rylander's experiment is a total loss.
:'''Holiday:''' All of this for nothing. I'm sorry, Rex.
:'''Rex:''' It wasn't for nothing, Doc. I've got a brother. Out there- somewhere. Finally! I started to get some real answers. I feel closer to the truth than ever.

===The Forgotten===
:'''Six:''' Rex!
:'''Rex:''' It's like I'm hearing through my nanites.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''No-Face:''' You are not the Before.
:'''Rex:''' I'm not sure that was a complete sentence back then.
:'''No-Face:''' ''They'' are the Before! The Before forgot us. The Before left us in pain.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Operation: Wingman===
:'''Annie:''' &quot;Do you have a girlfriend?&quot;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;It's complicated. She's in league with an evil dictator who wants me dead.&quot;
:'''Annie:''' &quot;Yeah. My dad's always worried about me dating, too.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Rabble===
:'''Quarry''': Come on, Rex. (''holds up Rex's journal'') We both know this is what you really want. So go ahead take it. Walk away. Show them who you really are. You were always very good a taking care of yourself. Why should now be any different?
:'''Rex''': (''Cuts his journal in two'') Whoever I was back then, is not who I am now. Not anymore.
:'''Quarry''': Your choice.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex''': It's over, Quarry! You lose!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Sqywwd:''' I hope you don't expect us to thank you.
: '''Rex:''' No. Providence won't bother you unless you do something stupid.
: '''Cricket:''' We'll be fine. Thank you, Rex. 
:(''Kisses him on the check'')
: '''Tuck:''' Don't forget about us, Okay?
: '''Rex:''' That may be a promise I can't keep. (''Flies off on his Boogie Pack'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' It's going to happen again, isn't it? I'm going to blank out. How long do I have?
: '''Holiday:''' I don't know, Rex. It's likely triggered by a specific event; something traumatic.

===The Hunter===

===Gravity===

===What Lies Beneath===
: '''Circe:''' Rex, it's me.
: '''Rex:''' Circe? What do ''you'' want!?
: '''Circe:''' Things in Abysus- they're bad, Rex. I need your help.
: '''Rex:''' Oh, well, how do I put this nicely? Not a chance! You made your choice, Circe! I made mine. End of story.
: '''Circe:''' Please, Rex. I know you're mad at me, but this is a matter of life and death.
: '''Rex:''' A lot of things are right now. Nice talking to you.
: '''Circe:''' Rex!?
: (''Looks crestfallen'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I didn't know you were still in touch with Circe.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, me neither. Can we please stop talking about this?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Holiday:''' She's very pretty.
: '''Rex:''' She works for Van Kleiss. She's the enemy. 
: '''Holiday:''' But you still like her, don't you?
: '''Rex:''' I am ''not'' talking about this!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' Rex, thank you.
: '''Rex:''' I'm not doing this for you. But...your welcome. (''Circe similes hopefully'') So what exactly am I supposed to do?
:'''Holiday:''' When I said you were the key, I meant that literally. According to the plans, the machine needs to be turned on by a molecular level. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' You ''lied'' to me!!
: '''Circe:''' You wouldn't have come if I told you the truth.
: '''Rex:''' This wasn't about you needing ''me''!! This is about you needing Van Kleiss!!
: '''Circe:''' I need you both. Please, Rex, you don't understand.
: '''Rex:''' No!! ''You'' don't understand!! Van Kleiss is gone and I intend to keep it that way!!
: '''Biowulf:''' You destroyed us all!!
: '''Six:''' Don't even breathe.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' You don't know what you've done.
: '''Rex:''' Then, I guess we're even.
: '''Circe:''' You've never understood his power. Van Kleiss kept us safe here. His force was the only thing keeping Abysus together, and you destroyed that.
: '''Rex:''' We're done here!!
: '''Holiday:''' Rex, I think she's right. Nanites operate on a molecular level. If they bonded with Van Kleiss, breaking off his connection must have caused a splinter; resulting in a disastrous chain reaction.
: '''Rex:''' I'm ''not'' bringing him back! ''Not now, not ever!!'' Besides, you don't need Van Kleiss! You have me!! Why not go straight to the source?!
:'''Holiday:''' Rex, no!
:'''Six:''' Stand down! It's too dangerous!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Let go of me!!
: '''Holiday:''' If you keep fighting these unstable nanites, they're going to destroy you!
: '''Rex:''' And if I don't they'll destroy everybody else.
: '''Holiday:''' Not if you listen to me! I have an idea. It's a long shot. Instead of fighting the nanites, ''communicate'' with them.
: '''Six:''' You want to talk to the nanites?
: '''Holiday:''' He's done it before.
: '''Rex:''' Never anything this big.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I got you! Don't let go!! (''Rex struggles to save Circe from falling as she clings to him; tears fill her eyes''). ''Circe!!'' (''as she falls into the black goop of highly unstable nanites'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' ''Circe!'' Six! Dr. Holiday! Okay, you win. (''technopathically starts the machine''). Something's...not right.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Circe! Come on, breathe!
: '''Circe''' (''coughs weakly'')''':''' Hey.
: '''Rex:''' Hey.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Stay with us, Circe. Van Kleiss is done.
: '''Circe:''' As much as I care about you, Rex, Van Kleiss and the Pack are my family. They took me in when no one else would. I can't abandon them.
: '''Rex:''' So that's it. We're always going to be on opposite sides.
: '''Circe:''' It does keep it interesting.

===The Swarm===
:'''Rex''' (thinking'')''':''' ''Gotta stay under. Not sure I can...make it.
:(''Has visions of those most dear to him: Noah, his crush Circe, Holiday, Six, Bobo)

===Basic===
===The Plague===
===Promises, Promises===
:''Note:'' This episode depicts how young Rex had joined Providence via Six's [[w:flashback episode|memories]].
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:''[Six narrates over imagery of the Nanite Event.]''
:'''Six:'''	The names and faces may change, but no matter how you slice it, war is war. You pick a side and you don’t look back. I believe that now and I believed it then. What gets you in trouble is when you start second guessing. Forget what you’re fighting for and you’re finished.
:'''Diane Farrah:''' ''[Panicked screaming is heard in the background of an EVO attack]'' There’s another entity has emerged, this time in the heart of Paris. Authorities are vastly unprepared. Unless a decisive response to this pandemic is marshalled, the city will fall just as Kiev— ''[Diane Farrah gets snatched by the EVO’s web]''
:''[A Providence assault vehicle rams through police cars, from which Six appears and deals with the EVO.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Save some for me partner! How else am I gonna earn my paycheck?
:''[Knight fires off a weapon and the scene cuts to present day at Providence Headquarters.]''
:'''Providence Agents:''' Surprise!
:'''Rex:'''	So, the flu shots?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I needed an excuse to get you here. We’ll do them after cake. I’ll get you Van Kleiss! ''[Holiday swings at a pinata blindfolded before Rex crushes it with his smack hands]''
:'''Rex:''' Sorry, Doc, it was taking too long. And it was either that or throw some of your cake at it.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Holiday walks over to Six at a corner, passing him a drink]'' You’re looking festive.
:'''Six:''' It was an odd choice to pick today to be his birthday.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It is the anniversary of his new life here. He deserves a celebration, he changed everything.
:'''Six:''' Has he?
:'''Rex:''' ''[Rex jumps onto a counter, speaking to the agents surrounding him]'' Ha-hah! How about hitting The Petting Zoo for a little pin-the-tail on the raging “Rhinocesaurus”?
:'''Dr. Holiday and Six:''' No.
:'''Rex:'''	Every party has a pooper. And I got two.
:'''Providence Agents:''' ''[Providence Agents turn off the lights and bring Rex a birthday cake]'' Happy Birthday!
:'''Rex:'''	Dudes!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You should be celebrating too, Six! After all, you’re the one who started this. In a way, it’s your birthday too.
:''[Flashback to Six and Knight walking through the Petting Zoo during construction of Providence HQ.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Nyquist. Fortier. How’s the monkey business?
:'''Nyquist:''' Ha ha-larious, Knight.
:'''Fortier:''' Hey, for your information we probably saved the world today.
:'''White Knight:''' I, for one, feel safer already. ''[Knight states, looking at Bobo while Six walks towards his cage]''
:'''Bobo:''' So, green man. We meet again!
:'''Calan:''' They found him at the Kremlin this time. He was threatening to push the button unless someone brought him a thousand pounds of caviar.
:'''Bobo:''' Chimp’s gotta eat.
:'''Fortier:''' What about your little bug hunt? Give you much trouble?
:'''White Knight:''' Nothing we couldn’t handle.
:''[The EVO is transported in a cage overhead while Knight and Six walk through a hallway.]''
:'''White Knight:''' What? Not even a smile? Oh by the way, happy birthday. ''[Knight passes Six a gift]''
:'''Six:''' How did you know?
:'''White Knight:''' I’m your partner. Can’t keep much from me.
:'''Six:''' Thanks.
:'''White Knight:''' So what crawled up your coat?
:'''Six:''' I’m getting tired of all this fighting. Did you see how many there are now? Are we gonna cage the whole world?
:'''White Knight:''' ''[Knight turns around, placing a hand on Six's shoulder]'' We’re preserving the human race. ''[The door to the processing facility opens]'' Besides, who says we’re gonna cage them all?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' ''[Looking at the EVO]'' And to think, this was once spinning webs in someone’s garden. Doctor Holiday, prepare for disassembly. ''[Doctor Holiday nods and activates the procedure as per his instructions. Doctor Fell sports a wicked smile during the experiment before it disintegrates the EVO without a trace]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It’s the same exact data as last time, and the time before that; Doctor Fell, why aren’t we studying them in a natural setting?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' Only through molecular dissection will we find a way to expunge this threat. The committee agrees with me on this. If you do not approve, I can always find another assistant.
:'''White Knight:''' ''[Doctor Holiday leaves the facility in frustration with Doctor Fell]'' Bleeding hearts. They’ll get us all killed one day.
:''[Holiday walks down a hallway and drops several notes, one of which Six picks up.]''
:'''Six:''' EVO?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Exponentially Variegated Organism; a little more scientific than spoiled meat. That is what you hired guns call them isn’t it?
:'''Six:''' It's Six, and I don't use guns. You told Fell we could learn more by bringing them in alive. What did you mean?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The nanites are altering our DNA, but with the right type of research, there's no doubt they could be programmed to stop or reverse the process. Imagine a third option to this, kill-or-Contain protocol.
:'''Six:''' A third option?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' A cure.
:'''White Knight:''' ''[Knight and several other Providence agents run past Holiday after an alarm activates]'' Buckle up partner! Looks like we got ourselves a big one.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hopeless.
:''[Providence mercenaries arrive at Mexico to confront the giant mechanical EVO.]''
:'''White Knight:''' What are we looking at?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' ''[Speaking through a monitor]'' Fascinating. It appears to be bio-mechanical. I must have a closer look at this one.
:'''White Knight:''' One for the trophy case.
:'''Six:''' Wait. We may get more out of this one if we bring it in alive!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Fell:''' You're letting your emotions cloud your judgement, Six. With what we gleam from this boy, I could create tools that could inoculate the world.
:'''Six:''' Why risk it? He can already cure them! I've seen it!
:'''White Knight:''' So, what, we train him? Make him one of us?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Knight:''' We're supposed to be friends! He's a monster! What do you see in him!?
:'''Six:''' Hope.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''White Knight:''' Thanks for talking some sense into him, Doc. ''[Knight picks up Six’s katana and walks toward Rex]''
:'''Rex:''' What...what’s happening to me? ''[Rex pleas to Knight, who simply looks down at him before warning sirens go off and the facility begins to lockdown]''
:'''Dr. Fell:''' We’re all going to burn. ''[Fell escapes while Rex is craned away by Holiday on an upper level]''
:'''White Knight:''' No! ''[Knight looks back at Six who is slowly picking himself up while the remaining exits close off. In a last ditch effort, Knight carries Six and throws him through the final set of doors before they seal shut]''
:'''Six:'''	''[Six picks himself and slams his fist against the glass]'' Why?
:'''White Knight:''' I know what side I’m on. ''[Knight proudly states before getting consumed by a blinding white light and screaming in agony]''
:'''Six:'''	''[Grabbing a hold of Dr. Fell's collar Six shouts]'' Do something!
:'''Dr. Fell:''' Once the cycle starts it's impossible to shut down.
:'''Rex:'''	''[Contrary to Dr. Fell's statement, the light fades away and the electricity is subdued after Rex interfaces with a control panel]'' Impossible? Psh, right.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' How did you—-?
:'''Rex:''' Told it to turn off. And it did! Wait, where...where am I?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' ''[Speaking through a monitor]'' Doctor Holiday. Maybe you were right.
:'''Dr. Holiday:'''	Maybe you should start looking for another job.
:'''Bobo:''' ''[Within the processing chamber, Knight takes a few steps forward before collapsing]'' Hey marshmallow! Nice look! ''[Knight looks back up at Bobo with his signature bleached appearance]''
:''[Some time later, in his office White Knight speaks to Six through a monitor.]''
:'''White Knight:''' How’s the training?
:'''Six:'''	Slow.
:'''White Knight:''' Not all you hoped he’d be? ''[Rex and Bobo topple each other in a play fight while Knight continues to monologue in his office]'' Still, who would’ve thought the kinder, gentler approach would do such wonders for our profile. The notion of a cure has gotten Providence funding, and worldwide prestige. The committee's happy. Your new partner may just be the best thing this operation could have asked for. Funny, isn’t it? Because of you I can never leave this chamber. I’m now the only pure human left in the world. And the perfect poster boy to run this operation. I suppose I should thank you.
:'''Six:''' I promised him that we would help uncover his past; find his family.
:'''White Knight:''' Whatever keeps him on his leash. But if he shows the slightest sign of turning into thing again, it's all on you.
:''[Back at the party in the present, Noah is pinned down by Bobo with a bag on his head to Rex’s amusement.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Hoo-hoo-hoo! Oh my—hold him down, I’ll get the camera! ''[Rex runs to his room, and after a quick search he instead finds a long box on a corner shelf]''
:'''Six:''' Happy birthday. ''[Six walks into his room, officially greeting Rex]''
:'''Rex:'''	From you? For me? You gotta be kidding.
:'''Six:''' You, your work. It has made a real difference. I just—-
:'''Rex:'''	Yeah, I know I’m pretty great! But seriously get off the sap train, Six. It’s creeping me out. ''[Rex opens the gift to reveal the blade inside]'' Wow, Six! Thank you!
:'''Six:'''	It’s called a tanto. It’s the ceremonial blade of a samurai warrior.
:'''Rex:'''	Samurai? Awesome.
:'''Six:'''	''[Six unsheathes his own tanto and holds it against Rex’s]'' This is its twin.
:'''Rex:'''	''[Rex removes the cap from his tanto and squints at the symbol etched into the blade]'' Is that...writing?
:'''Six:'''	Bushido symbol of loyalty. It means whether for good or ill, our fates will follow the same path. This one stays with me.
:'''Rex:'''	Think this thing can cut through Holiday’s chocolate cake?
:'''Six:'''	''[Six raises an eyebrow]'' Anything’s possible.
:''[Rex puts the cap back on to the blade and camera cuts to outside of Providence headquarters, panning outward until screen fades to black.]''

===Badlands===
:'''Gatlocke:''' Do you like rules?
:'''Rex:''' Can't say I do.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Gatlocke:''' Feel that? It's quilted. This is the good kind. But I won't be able to really enjoy in ''until I have those nanites!''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Out of the Dark===
:''Note'': Rex's love interest and sweetheart Circe appears in a vision.

===Payback===
:''[In the realm of Abysus]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Humiliated... De-powered... All but destroyed. Hardly the new world I set out to build, is it?
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, a spy has made contact.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Well?
:'''Providence Spy:''' Everything is in place.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' And the boy?
:'''Providence Spy:''' He's here.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' ''[to his loyal followers]'' Soon our greatest enemy will be buried! Providence itself will be destroyed. And we'll have Rex to thank.
:'''Rex:''' Come on! Who's gonna know?
:'''Noah:''' Yeah. It would only be for a minute or two.
:'''Calan:''' You actually want me to let you fly the keep?
:''[Calan sighs]''
:'''Calan:''' Only until the next course change. And nothing fancy.
:'''Rex:''' All right, let's see what this baby can really do! Why, it wasn't me! Seriously!
:'''Both:''' Whoa!
:'''Providence Spies:''' Aah!
:'''White Knight:''' Calan, what's your status?
:'''Calan:''' Came from out of nowhere. We're being boarded. Scramble all jump jets. Mobilize for a counter-offensive.
:'''White Knight:''' This is a coordinated attack. Every major Providence outpost around the globe has been hit.
:'''Six:''' So far they've steered clear of headquarters. I'm on route to the keep now.
:'''Rex:''' Are they really that stupid? Attacking the keep with me on board? This should only take a minute.
:'''Noah:''' Wait up!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Find Rex. It goes without saying &quot;alive&quot; would be ideal. Take the ship.
:'''Providence Spy:''' Some kind of power surge. We're losing control of the helm!
:'''Calan:''' Find out where it's coming from. Doc, if you'll excuse me--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six?
:'''Six:''' Five minutes out. Prepare for an evac. I'm getting you off the ship.
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Noah:''' Again with the Smack Hands? You always open with that move. Change it up a little!
:'''Both:''' Whoa!
:'''Bobo:''' You see what you get? That's what happens when you interrupt my nap-- Bobo gets cranky!
:'''Rex:''' I learned that the hard way, too.
:'''Calan:''' All hands-- We've got intruders on deck four, five, and six. Get'em off our ship!
:'''Rex:''' Go!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Attention, Providence. The ship is ours.
:'''Rex:''' Ugh! Not even close, Van Kleiss!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Lay down your weapons, and your lives will be spared. Continue to resist and nothing survives.
:'''Rex:''' You've made I made some lame-o moves before, Van Kleiss, but this one-- classic.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Seems you may have run out of tricks. Oh, you had to know it would only be a matter of time. I've had a fair amount of time on my hands these days. ''[Restrains Rex with his gauntlet]''
:'''Rex:''' Aaaaah!
:'''Van Kleiss:'''  You took something very precious from me, Rex, and now I'll be returning the favor.
:'''Rex:''' If you want my monkey, you can forget it. 
:''[Van Kleiss starts draining nanites from Rex, causing him to squirm and scream in pain.]''
:''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It might come as a surprise that when you stole the nanites that gave my power, you left some of your behind-- Enough to tell me a few of what makes you tick. :''[Rex tries to summon a build, but nothing happens.]''
:'''Rex:''' Ungh!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:''[Rex gasps]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' You'll find that using your powers will be something of a challenge. The nanites that you so special belong to me now.
:'''Biowulf:''' What shall I do with him, master?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I have everything I need from him. I could care less. Secure the rest of the ship.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Come on! Do you really think throwing me out that hatch is the best way to get rid of me? Wouldn't it be more fun to throw me in a cage, tie me down in front of a laser?
:'''Biowulf:''' No!
:'''Rex:''' Aaaaaaaah! Wh-o-o-o-o-oa!
:'''Noah:''' What is he doing?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' This is no time to fool around, Rex.
:'''Rex:''' Happened to notice that ground coming up on his, doc? If you don't do something fast, I'm about to become part of it! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Ugh!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, are you okay?
:'''Rex:''' I think we may have a problem.
:'''White Knight:''' What do you mean &quot;they have the keep&quot;?! Blow it up!
:'''Six:''' We tried. The remote-destruct sequence has been disabled. Van Kleiss has complete control of it.
:'''White Knight:''' Give me some good news.
:'''Six:''' We know where it's heading. Here.
:'''Biowulf:''' This is the commanding officer. We found him attempting to destroy this ship.
:'''Calan:''' What's your game, Van Kleiss?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, a very good question-- One that depends entirely on what happens next, Captain. It seems my powers have made a slight... change.
:'''Rex:''' Well? They're gone, aren't they? Van Kleiss took all my active nanites.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Not exactly. I found this. Definitely a nanite, but it's unlike anything I've ever seen. Molecular scans seems to indicate it's some kind of control-nanite.
:'''Rex:''' But with nothing to control.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' With a large enough concentration of nanites, we might be able to jump-start it. But even with that, there's no guarantee it would replicate or even give you back the same abilities.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I hate to say it, but this one has me stumped.
:'''Rex:''' Great. Loving this.
:'''White Knight:''' If you're finished with the lost cause, we've got a bigger problem.
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, how is this possible?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' It would seem Rex's nanites have an opposite effect on me. He cured EVOs. Now I create them. Full ahead-- Ramming speed! Once we're through, we'll destroy Providence from the inside out.
:'''White Knight:''' Lock it down! I want hallways cleared and critical sections defended. They will not take this base.
:'''Rex:''' Well? What are we waiting for? Let's go stop them!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, you're in no condition to fight.
:'''Rex:''' Well, what do you expect me to do-- Hide?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Whatever it takes. That nanite inside you might be able to bring you back, but it's going to take me time to figure out how. And that's not something we have a lot of right now.
:'''Rex:''' Wow. Nice outfit.
:'''Noah:''' Got one for you, too. You get to armor up like the rest of us normals.
:'''Rex:''' Come on.
:'''Bobo:''' All right, where to?
:'''Rex:''' South Pacific.
:'''Bobo:''' That's my boy. And here I thought you'd try to pull some hero stunt. Oh, brother.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I want the White Knight. Find where he's hiding and bring him to me.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That should be everything, as long as the offsite backup holds.
:'''Six:''' Don't let it get to that.
:'''Noah:''' This is a strange place for a base.
:'''Rex:''' When I have too many nanites in me, this is where I go to offload.
:'''Bobo:''' Think of it as a nanite porta-potty.
:'''Noah:''' Thanks... For that image, Bobo. So, we just put some of these nanites in you, and we're good to go?
:'''Rex:''' No. They're inactive. Or at least stripped of their programming. Since I can't control them, I just have to hope that whatever this thing is inside me can't.
:'''Noah:''' So... What happens if it can't?
:'''Bobo:''' Let me put it this way-- The last guy who went swimmin' in that soup ended up a 50-foot freak show.
:'''White Knight:''' Listen to me carrefully, Van Kleiss.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I'd rather not.
:'''White Knight:''' Where are they?
:'''Six:''' The inner perimeter has been compromised. They're coming.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Ugh! Ungh!
:''[Skalamander roars]''
:''[Skalamander roars]''
:'''Biowulf:''' Open it.
:'''Rex:''' Okay. Bobo, set the thing to &quot;vent&quot; and go. If this doesn't work, I don't want you getting caught in the blast.
:'''Bobo:''' No.
:'''Noah:''' Forget it. Rex, at least think about his for a sec. What if it wipes your memory? What it turns you into some evil monster?
:'''Rex:''' My friends need me. There's nothing more to think about. Bobo, do it.
:'''Bobo:''' Long odds, pay big.
:''[Bobo groans]''
:'''Six:''' You've overstayed your welcome.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, here's someone who would make a nice addition to our EVO ranks.
:'''Six:''' Go ahead and try. Ugh!
:''[Six groans]''
:'''Rex:''' Trying to do my job for me, Six? Here's a thought-- When your top henchman can't even get rid of someone by throwing him out of a moving plane, time to rethink the help.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' You are determined-- I'll give you that. If it's what you prefer, I'll finish you myself.
:'''Rex:''' Maybe.
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa! Cool!
:'''Bobo:''' See? I told you it would work.
:'''Six:''' This is an unexpected surprise.
:'''Rex:''' Well, by now, you should expect the unexpected from me, Six.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ungh!
:''[Skalamander roars]''
:''[Dr. Holiday grunts]''
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Noah:''' Is that what I think it is?
:'''Bobo:''' Not anymore.
:'''Noah:''' You think there might be more of them?
:'''Bobo:''' Eh... Probably.
:''[Biowulf grunts]''
:''[Biowulf growls]''
:'''Biowulf:''' Aaaaaaah!
:'''White Knight:''' I use that electromagnet to trap stray nanites. You're lucky it's on the lowest setting. Any higher, and it would rip the nanites right out of your body.
:''[Biowulf grunts]''
:'''Biowulf:''' Then why don't you?
:'''White Knight:''' Because then I wouldn't be able to do this.
:'''Skalamander:''' No one can help you. You're all alone now.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Not exactly. We still have my sister.
:''[Skalamander grunting]''
:''[Rex and Van Kleiss grunts]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Aaaaah!
:'''Rex:''' No way!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ungh!
:'''Rex:''' Once again, epic fail. I'll take my nanites back now.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh!
:'''Noah:''' Rex, wait!
:'''Bobo:''' Van Kleiss left behind a few presents.
:'''Rex:''' No time to look everywhere. I'm shutting everything down.
:'''Noah:''' You can do that?
:'''Rex:''' Don't know. Never tried. Anything else? No?
:'''Calan:''' Whew! I never want to do that again. No, sir.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Amazing.
:'''Rex:''' Why, thank you.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I was talking about the nanites. That was a risky move, Rex, but it worked. As far as I can tell, you're back to your old self.
:'''Rex:''' I don't know. Something feels different. That new build-- I think I can do even more. It's like I can see the blueprints. I just need to figure out how to put it all together.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' White Knight in person. Never thought I'd see the day.
:'''White Knight:''' Well, don't get used to it. We found all the explosives. The base and the keep will need extensive repairs. This was not our finest hour.
:'''Rex:''' What are you talking about? We kicked butt! So what if Van Kleiss is back and more powerful than ever? So am I! If he wants a nanite war, let him bring it!
:''[White Knight laughs]''
:'''White Knight:''' It's good to have your back, Rex.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You know, I think he actually means it.
:'''Rex:''' Sure he does. So, tell me something, guys-- What's next?

==Season Two (2011)==
===Rampage===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' I'll give you the recap. Thanks to these microscopic machines called nanites, I can build cool gear out of my body. I'm what's called an EVO. But most evo's aren't lucky like me. They usually look like this. ''[laughing]'' I know what you're thinking. And they smell bad, too. There's one other thing I can do that makes me even more special. Some EVOs, I can cure. That's why I work for Providence. We're the people you call when an evo is tearing up your lawn or attacking a city. And the worst of them is this guy... Van Kleiss. The last time we fought, things got a little out of hand. I'll admit it... we pretty much got our tails handed to us. He steals the key, wrecks headquarters, hijacks my nanite to get back the powers I took away from him. And now he can actually make people into EVOs. Then, to top it off, he has his dog boy Biowulf throw me, overboard at 6,000 feet. Not that anyone's keeping score. Sure, Van Kleiss may be back, but so am I. So what if he can make EVOs? I can still cure them. He may have new powers, but guess what... I do, too. Ever since my powers came back, I've got the ability to make amazing new machines. Now I just have to figure out how to build more.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' If you're trying to check up on me, Six, the answer's still a big fat... ''[imitates buzzer]'' I can't figure out how to make this new build.
:'''Six:''' It might take some time, but you'll get it.
:'''Rex:''' And meanwhile, Van Kleiss is out there doing who knows what. I wish they'd hurry up and get the H.Q. Rebuilt. You're not still living out of your jump jet like some ninja hobo, are you?
:'''Six:''' My temporary accommodations are perfectly adequate.
:'''Rex:''' Yep. Still living in the jet. ''[Groans]'' I hate being kicked out of our house. Although, as long as they're building stuff, I need a hot tub.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;I was wondering when you and your hair would show up again, Van Kleiss.&quot;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Back to your old self again, I see. And how are those new abilities developing?&quot;
:'''Rex:''' Just fine. Thanks for asking.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Don't you have anything better to do with your life then come after me all the time?&quot;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' &quot;Funny you should ask.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Doc? How are those biometrics looking now?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Give it a try.
:'''Rex:''' Ah, yeah! It's about time! Machines work. I just hope the important part does.
:'''Noah:''' What just happened?
:'''Rex:''' Do you remember anything?
:'''Noah:''' It all kind of hazy. I mostly remember the feeling of... Fun. And I remember you punching me in the face.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah. Sorry about that. I thought you were trying to eat me. Come on. We've got a rat to catch. Why so happy? Is this the part where breach shows up and rescues you?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Actually, no. This is the part where she takes your inadequately guarded fuel core.
:'''Six:''' Six to post, what's your status? Six to post.
:'''Rex:''' Another decoy?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I should share some of the credit with your friend over here. He played the part to perfection.
:'''Noah:''' Gee, thanks.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, this would be the part where Breach shows up.
:'''Noah:''' I can't believe I did all this. Sounds like I had the time of my life.
:'''Rex:''' ''[laughing]'' It almost became your life. Sorry about that.
:'''Noah:''' Are you kidding? Just knowing I was a rampaging evo is cool. I wish I could have remembered at least some of it.
:'''Rex:''' It's probably all over the news if you want a replay... At least until you stepped on the news van.
:'''Noah:''' Well... ''[Exhales sharply]'' Guess it's back to quadratic equations.
:'''Rex:''' I have no idea what those are. I've got somewhere I need to be. See you later. I know. I'm not supposed to be here. I don't care if it's a construction zone. I'm moving back.
:'''Six:''' It's all right. Turns out you're not the only one who feels that way. You'll get used to the cold showers. Food, you're on your own. From the top?
:'''Rex:''' From the top.
:'''Six:''' What were you trying to build, anyway?
:'''Rex:''' A water jet. Oh, by the way, I need a new cellphone.
:'''Six:''' Yes?
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' It's after my glasses again.
:'''Six:''' Glasses?
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' This time I am serious. Now, when are you going to send someone out here?
:'''Six:''' Ma'am, I'm...
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' Do you even work for Providence?
:'''Six:''' Yes, I work for Providence.
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' What kind of a flimflam outfit is this?
:'''Six:''' How did you get this number?

===Wasteland===
===Tough Love===

===The Lost Weekend===
:'''Kenwyn:''' What did you to Skwydd?
:'''Mouse:''' Just shedding a light light on how dangerous his kind can be.
:'''Rex:''' By juicing his powers? What were you thinking?
:'''Mouse:''' Most inorganic material explodes when given that kind of molecular jolt, but not not nanites. They convert the energy into power that amplifies an E.V.O.'s abilities to tremendously uncontrollable levels.

===Star-Crossed===

===Alliance===
:'''Rex:''' ''[to himself]'' And he brought his Pack flunkies. Biowulf, Skalamander, Breach. Circe? Gotta hurry. Their headed straight for... someplace else. Gonna find out where.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Holiday:''' Rex why aren't you fixing that shield regulator?
:'''Rex:''' Hint. You may remember him from such schemes as destroying Providence headquarters, and trying to take over the entire Earth.
:'''Holiday:''' Van Kliess, in there? You're right. You should investigate after you fix the shield.
:'''Rex:''' Then it might be too late.
:'''Holiday:''' She's there, isn't she?
:'''Rex:''' Who? Breach? Yeah, but...
:'''Holiday:''' A quick recon and that's it.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Intriguing. An entire urban branch of EVO. development.
:'''Biowulf:''' This place is a waste of our time.
:'''Circe:''' Van Kleiss knows what he's doing. It's not your place to question.
:'''Biowulf:''' Question?! You dare accuse me of disloyalty?!
:'''Circe:''' Sorry. Get a grip!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' You're right, you know. We should be down there with him. What is he up to anyway?
:'''Biowulf:''' I do not know.
:'''Circe:''' You don't know? I thought he trusted you with everything.
:'''Biowulf:''' Of course he does! He just--
:'''Rex:''' Hey! Easy on the stealth suit, which apparently, isn't so stealthy.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''NoFace:''' Invaders have come before. They brought only pain.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' It is a pain we both share. The same Providence outsides attacked my lands, destroyed my army.
:'''NoFace:''' There was one who tormented us, humiliated us. The grower of machines.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ah, Rex. Another thorn we share. My proposal is simple: You control a formidable legion. I, in turn, can provide the escape and the vengeance you seek. I can be your liberator. You can be my general. Together we will crush our enemies, starting with the one you hate most. Now are we--
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, I have a report.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' ''[irritated]'' This is a private conversation. Can't you handle the sightest detail without bothering me?
:'''Biowulf:''' Of course, Master. It was nothing.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Here comes the moment when our brave hero sweeps the girl of her feet! Literally!
:'''Biowulf:''' Don't let him.
:'''Circe:''' Hey! Let--
:'''Rex:''' ''[flies off with Circe in his arms]''' See you around, henchie!
:'''Biowulf:''' ''[to Skalamander]''  Follow them.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' Down, now!
:'''Rex:''' Not till we hear each other out!
:'''Circe:''' Sure! I'll go first. 
:''[Breaks the Bogie Pack with a hypersonic burst, causing them to fall]''
:'''Rex:''' Oh, great. Way to go, Circe.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' ''[to himself]'' Our hero pursues the girl of his dreams, heedless of her attempts to break his heart... along with the rest of him. Circe, just one minute, okay? Look-No powers!
:'''Circe:''' One minute! But if this is about leaving the Pack--
:'''Rex:''' Please. I'm way past that. There are bigger things going here than who you hang out with.
:'''Circe:''' Fifty seconds!
:'''Rex:''' I wasn't sent here to spy on you. I'm here to stop these things from ever getting out.
:'''Circe:''' Forty! Why are you telling me this? You know who I am!
:'''Rex:''' You've seen the things that live here. Whatever deal you think Van Kleiss is making, it's going to turn out bad for everyone.
:'''Circe:''' Thirty seconds!
:'''Rex:''' I do know who you are, Circe. Just for once think for yourself. Maybe your perfect leader could actually be wrong, maybe even a bit crazy, nuts, certifiably insane!
: '''Circe:''' Shut up! Twenty! Talk about blinded. Did you ever wonder why Van Kleiss is so interested in you?
:'''Rex:''' Oh, I don't know. Maybe he wants me dead?
:'''Circe:''' Not anymore. Something has changed, Rex. Ever since you got your powers back, I hear him talking. Saying you have something that's the key to everything. For whatever reason, he needs you alive. I know it, Rex. He'd never let you be killed.
:'''Rex:''' Never, huh?
:'''Circe:''' Time's up! 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Now this looks like a party.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Rex, you never cease to amaze me.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''No-Face:''' Defiler! Give him to us!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now do you believe I can deliver what I say? Will yoh agree to my leadership?
:'''No-Face:''' We agree to it! Give him to us! Now! Now! Now!
:'''Circe:''' ''[very shocked]''' Van Kleiss, I didn't bring Rex here so that you could-- He'll kill him!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Never forget how I found you, Circe. What you were... before. He's yours. 
:''[Tears well up in Circe's eyes; thoroughly horrified that her master would calmly allow Rex's life to be put at risk]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' ''[weakly]''' Is this what you wanted? 
:''[Collapses from his inquiries, causing Circe to open her eyes]''
:'''Circe''' ''[tearful, pleading]'': Stop this! Please! You need him alive!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Alive, yes. Heart pumping, lungs breathing, but his mind? The less there's left of that, the better. Circe, I warn you: Lift so much as a finger to help him, and you're finished!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' You, Biowulf, even me. We're all just means to an end for him. He doesn't really care for any of us.
:'''Rex:''' So you finally figured that out. Better late than never, I guess.
:'''Circe:''' It's not too late! Not if I have anything to say about it!
:''[Extends her fleshly and grotesque EVOs mouth]''
:'''Bobo:''' Whoa! Whoa! There are some of us who might not like the sound of whatever you're about to do!
:'''Circe:''' I'll adjust the frequency to exclude friendly EVOs.
:'''Bobo:''' Does that include me?
:'''Circe:''' For now. 
:''[Uses her melodious, hypnotic singing to call back the EVOs escaping]''
:'''Rex:''' I thought you said you could filter it.
:'''Circe:''' It's not an exact science. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' Van Kleiss.
:'''Rex:''' Breach'll get him out... eventually. But right now he's in there, you're out here. You don't have a better opportunity to consider your options.
:''[Notice the two of them holding hands and let go, blushing]''
:'''Bobo:''' What is it stealing from our own people that's so dang satisfying?
:'''Circe:''' You forget to remove the tracker. I'm not going to Providence.
:'''Rex:''' Doesn't matter where you go. All that matters is that you want to go there. That said. I hear Hong Kong's nice this time of year.

===Robo Bobo===
===Divide By Six===
:'''One''': ''[Speaking through Rex]'' Six.
:'''Six''': One?
:'''One''': You left this place, quit life as a mercenary and so rarely returned to visit.
:'''Six''': I did what I felt was right, I never meant to dishonor.
:'''One''': So rarely, that I never had time to tell you how proud you've made me.
:'''Six''': ''[Takes off his glasses for the first time in the series]'' We're going to help you. We're going to take you home.
:'''One''': But Six, I  am home. ''[Rex falls unconscious while One's body starts changing. Eventually his body dissolves and fertilizes the entire island to its former splendor]''
: '''Six:''' He's still One. He's just one with everything.
===Mixed Signals===
: '''Rex:''' Whoa, big guy! Someone needs to ease off on the cheeseburgers.
: '''Six:''' Skip the insults. Start the containment.
: '''Rex:''' Like its feelings are going to get hurt. One bad and ugly going down. What?
: '''Six:''' Rex? Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Cool!
: '''Six:''' You want to explain this?
: '''Rex:''' I don't know. It's like some weird vision of this thing filled my head, then built itself out of me. Maybe the vision came from Blobbo. Maybe it's trying to talk to me. Come on, big boy. Send me some more pictures. What's on your mind?
: '''Six:''' Groceries. That's what's on its mind.
: '''Rex:''' I'm skipping. I'm over it. That vision must have been a fluke.
: '''Six:''' All right, then. We're going with a two-prong attack. Use caution. This kind of EVO might be a splitter. Rex! Snap out of it!
: '''Rex:''' Whoa! Whoa! Ha! I wasn't supposed to do that, right?
: '''Six:''' Rex, I want you back at HQ.
: '''Rex:''' But I feel okay now. And we've got, um-- Two blobs to put down.
: '''Six:''' Now!
: '''Holiday:''' No trace of any recent electrochemical or DNA abnormalities. Everything reads normal.
: '''Rex:''' But it's like the visions were being transmitted, and I was seeing it from a nanite point of view.
: '''Holiday:''' I can't track it, Rex. There's no sign of signal displacement or a nano disturbance. Maybe we should consider the possibility that this is psychological.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Pizza.
: '''Holiday:''' I think he's having another vision.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Of lunch?
: '''Rex:''' With pineapple and salmon.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Blech! He is nuts.
: '''Holiday:''' Aside from a strange choice in pizza toppings, all readings are normal. I can't explain it.
: '''Rex:''' Well, if my nanites are trying to get me to build something, maybe we should give them what they want.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Whatever it is, I'm not eating it. Is that my electric toothbrush?
: '''Rex:''' It better not be the one I've been using.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Oh.
: '''Rex:''' This is what I'm seeing in my head. As stupid as it looks. It's like someone or something is sending me instructions to build some big device.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Or build a pizza with pineapple and salmon.
: '''Rex:''' Okay. I'm not sure about that vision.
: '''Holiday:''' Is that my hairdryer?
: '''Rex:''' I just need to figure out what it does. Maybe it's a time machine. Or-- Or alien technology!
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Maybe it's just a big pile of junk. Or a way to order a really awful pizza.
: '''Contraption Voice:''' Target acquired.
: '''Holiday:''' Rex!
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Wake up!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Provindece Soldier #1:''' Hey, where do you think you're going? We've got a security breach. Front floor.
: '''Providence Soldier #2:''' Lockdown protocols enabled. All hands report to duty station. Security speed, take position.
: '''Rex:''' Sorry, guys. I might be a little... late.
: '''Caesar:''' Case compression. Release.
: '''Rex:''' Figures I'd build a machine with a serious attitude problem.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[taking off his helmet and turns to Rex]'' Rex, is that you?
: '''Rex:''' Who’s asking?
: '''Caesar:''' It’s me, Caesar, your brother! Mijo! ''[Hugs Rex]'' You're alive and... older. ''[Rex is dumbfounded]'' Uh. Atomic clock was right... ''[spanish accent]'' Es una problema grande.
: '''Rex:''' Uh, yeah. ''[Pushes Caesar]'' It is a big problem.
: '''Caesar:''' What is this place? Who are you people? ''[to Rex]'' I'm getting you out of here!
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Sorry, amigo. Put your hands up. Or don't. I got a clear shot either way.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[is looking at Bobo]'' A talking chimp?
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Don't bother. I've heard all the jokes.
: '''Caesar:''' Have they hurt you? Are you okay? Stand aside.
: '''Rex:''' Hello? Do I get a say in this?
: '''Holiday:''' If you're part of some elaborate plan to kidnap Rex, then you failed.
: '''Caesar:''' Listen, bonita, you don't wanna make me use this.
: '''Rex:''' ''[gets in between them]'' Enough! Normally around here when someone barges in talking crazy, they get around into the deck plates by my giant fists. But you seem legit. I'm going with him.
: '''Holiday:''' Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Okay, brother. Lead the way. So if you are my brother, where have you been all this time?
: '''Caesar:''' I'll explain later when we're safe.
: '''Rex:''' Uh, this is Providence. We are safe. Usually.
: '''Caesar:''' Providence? Never heard of it. To be honest, the last five years has been a bit of a blur.
: '''Rex:''' I want to believe you, but I'm gonna need some proof.
: '''Caesar:''' Your name is Rex Salazar. Our parents are Violetta and Raphael. The last time I saw you was at the Applied Nanite Research Lab in Abysus; right before those fools triggered a replication cycle.
: '''Rex:''' And I have total amnesia so, for all I know, that could be completely bogus.
: '''Caesar:''' There's a scar on the back of your left knee you got when you were seven, riding the gantry arm in the reactor annex.
: '''Rex:''' Hmm. I always wondered how I got that.
:''[they go out and Rex notices Caesar Salazar's pod laboratory]''
: '''Rex:''' Whoa. Nice wheels.
: '''Six:''' ''[Comes out and unsheathed his swords]'' Don't even think about it.
: ''[Caesar is about to attack but Rex stops him]''
: '''Rex:''' It's okay. Six isn't going to hurt you. Right, Six? You're comming in a little late on this, but, uh, this is Caesar, my brother, and he wants to get me out of here. So, let's just let my brother have his way and see where this all goes. Wherever you plan on going, they're going to follow us. You know that, right?
: '''Caesar:''' They can try.
: '''Rex:''' I don't know. Providence ship are pretty fast.
: '''Six:''' Track Rex's bio signature and find out who that guy really is.
: '''Rex:''' You ain't kidding. This thing moves fast. A-are we in the arctic?
: '''Caesar:''' How do you think I got to your location so quickly once the locator signaled me?
: '''Rex:''' Locator? You sent me the schematics to build that thing? It tried to crush me like a bug!
: '''Caesar:''' Sorry, mijo. I wasn't really trying to hurt. ''[scans Rex's body]'' I was looking for what's hiding inside of you. ''[showing Rex the result]'' The Omega One Nanite.
: '''Rex:''' That thing? Holiday discovered it before. We had no idea what it was.
: '''Caesar:''' I sent signal instructions for the Omega One to track and contain. But since the nanite has integrated into your DNA, you became the conduit for building the machine. What I don't get is how the Omega One got inside of you. Rylander was supposed to have that under lock and key.
: '''Rex:''' Rylander? He's the one who put it inside me.
: '''Caesar:''' Why would he do a thing like that? I'm really gonna have to let old fool have it when I see him.
: '''Rex:''' Not possible-- Courtesy of Van Kleiss.
: '''Caesar:''' Van Kleiss?! What does that third-rate lab hack have to do with this?
: '''Rex:''' What? I guess I’m not the only one who needs an update. Where have you been?
: '''Caesar:''' It's a long story-- actually, short by my clock. A splinter group had formed at the lab. They had other ideas about how the nanites would be used. We tried to stop them, and you were hurt. The only way to save your life was an infusion of nanites. It was risky, but it worked. We thought that'd be enough to stop the others, make them see the right path. But we were wrong. Mom and Dad were in the reactor. As for me, I managed to escape in my lab. But the shock wave, the same shock wave that probably blanked your memory.... also interfered with engine that powers this pod. I was stuck in sub-light drive.
: '''Rex:''' How long?
: '''Caesar:''' Fifteen minutes. That's how long it took me to reboot the system. But at the speed I was going, it was 5 years of your time. I knew there was an accident, but I had no idea how bad. My nanite sensors were off the charts. My 1st priority was to insure the OM-1 was safe. That was our promise. And here we are. So, what have I missed these past five years?
: '''Rex:''' Providence? We need to talk. They can wait.
: '''Caesar:''' So let me understand, there are EVOs and Van Kleiss claimed as their leader?
: '''Rex:''' Well, not for all of them, yet. I want to know about me, about our parents.
: '''Caesar:''' They were scientists. We lived all over the world. Things settled down when you came along. That was in Geneva.
: '''Rex:''' Wait a second. Are you saying I'm Swiss?
: ''Caesar:'' Not really. Mother was born in Mexico City. Father in Buenos Aires.
: '''Rex:''' And they're really... gone? ''[Caesar slowly nods sadly]''
: '''Rex:''' Um, where exactly did this ship take us?
: '''Caesar:''' What do you know?We're back at the original lab site.
: '''Rex:''' You mean the one in Abysus?
: '''Caesar:''' Is that a problem?
: '''Rex:''' I'd say just a small one. We should go, like now.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[typing]'' Hmm... Must be low on charge.  ''[walks out the door]'' We may be stuck, but on the bright side, I can take a look at some of these variegated organisms. ''[goes out]''
: '''Rex:''' Caesar! Wait!
: ''[outside and observing the EVOs]''
: '''Caesar:''' Fascinating. We theorized mutations might occur but never anything this random.
: ''[Rex hits the EVO before they got near Caesar]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Sorry, bro, but these guys--
: ''[Rex hits another EVO]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Usually don't sit still for questions.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[seeing Rex's new build]'' Hmm... That's new.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Guess I've learned a--
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' A few tricks. But they still won't be enough if Van Kleiss shows up with all his goons. Six!
: '''Six:'''We're locked onto you. The keep is already on its way.
: '''Rex:''' Your ship may be out of juice, but I'm not. Hop on. I can get us out of here.
: '''Caesar:''' I won't leave my lab, and you definitely don't want Van Kleiss getting his hands on some of the things in here. I'll try to reroute the capacitors to an alternate power source.
: '''Caesar:''' Oh, you wanna see a photo of you, me, and papi? Maybe later.
: '''Rex:''' You're a little off, aren't you, Caesar? 
: '''Biowulf:''' What was that machine it flew off with?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' A laboratory. One I thought I'd never see again. It seems an old friend has returned-Caesar.
: '''Rex:''' Providence isn't so bad now, eh, hermano?
: '''Caesar:''' Is this a Grinnell? They always made good consoles, except for the random power surges.
: '''Six:''' Well?
: '''Rex:''' Everything's cool. He's a little kooky, but I'm pretty sure he's my brother.
: '''Six:''' Glad to hear it. Now I need you back. We still have some unfinished business.
: '''Rex:''' Got to get back to work.
: '''Caesar:''' My little brother, the hero. I remember when you just wanted to be a musician.
: '''Rex:''' Guitar? No, wait drums.
: '''Caesar:''' Accordion.
: '''Rex:''' You got to be kidding me!
: '''Six:''' As I recall, you started it.
: '''Rex:''' Huh?
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Six:''' The EVO is dividing faster than we can contain it. The city is being evacuated.
: '''Caesar:''' Hmm. Excuse me, admiral. I need you to take me down there immediately. Afraid I'll have to insist.
: '''Six:''' Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Are you crazy?!
: '''Caesar:''' Depends on who you ask. I had something in my lab that I thought could help.
: '''Six:''' Help? You're not even supposed to be outside the keep.
: '''Rex:''' WHOO-HOO! Way to go, bro! First day on the job, and you already got a save!
: '''Six:''' Job?
: '''Rex:''' Oh, come on, admit it, Six. He just saved our chicharrones.
: ''[Caesar laughs]''
: '''Rex:''' What? What's so funny?
: '''Caesar:''' You always make me laugh when you try to speak Spanish.
: '''Holiday:''' We've pulled his records, and I've confirmes his DNA. It seems Rex really does have a brother.
: '''White Knight:''' If everything I've read about him is true, he could be an incredible asset to Providence.
: '''Six:''' Or a major liability.
: '''White Knight:''' All the more reason to keep him with us. Give him whatever he needs.
: '''Holiday:''' White's right, Six. He knows more about nanites than anyone on the planet. He helped invent them.
: '''Six:''' My point exactly. He's settling in?
: '''Rex:''' I guess so. Caesar's a little strange. Hard to believe he's actually my brother.
: '''Six:''' I'm happy for you, Rex. You always said you wanted to find your family.
: '''Rex:''' Thanks, but... You know that? I already did. Caesar may be my brother, but you, Holiday, Bobo, you're who I have a connection with.
: '''Bobo:''' Aww, now, see, I'm getting all misty.
: '''Caesar:''' There you are. Hmm. Nice view. Say, mijo, you think your cafeteria could whip up a pizza with pineapple and salmon? I've been craving one for days.
: '''Bobo:''' Connection, huh?

===Outpost===
:'''Valentina:''' Ugh! We were returning them to their natural habitat! What Providence does is wrong and against the natural order of things! You're a traitor to your own kind.
:'''Rex:''' That's creature's job is to ''exterminate'' mankind! It wanted to kill you!

===Haunted===
===Moonlighting===
===Without a Paddle===

===Written in Sand===
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, I need an uptade.
:'''Rex''': I'm right at the edge. Anything still alive in there is trying to get away from the sandstorm.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': It's not the storm they're running from. The nanites inside them are forcing the animals away. It's creating a kind of nanite-free zone.
:'''Rex''': Ha! We should call White Knight. Maybe he'll move here and leave us all alone.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': It's no laughing matter, Rex. It could be the most significant development since the original nanite event.
:'''Rex''': Yeah, yeah. Possible cures save the world-- Got it. I'll check it out.
:'''Bobo''': Hey, doc. You may wanna get a load of this over here.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Negative. The storm is moving in too fast. Just place a sensor and pack it in.
:'''Rex''': Hey. No. It couldn't be. Rex to base. We got trouble of the egomaniacal EVO kind.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Van Kleiss is here? Why am I not surprised?
:'''Rex''': I think the real question is, if everything else is in such a race to get out, why is he going on? 
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, wait.
:'''Rex''': Don't worry, doc. It's me. What could possibly happen?
:'''Skalamander''': RARGH! PTUH! They're nothing but dirt.
:'''Biowulf''': My senses-- Useless in all this sand.
:'''Van Kleiss''': This phenomenon deserves my personal attention. What we seek is nearby. I can feel it pushing against me.
:'''Rex''': ''[Rex emerges from the sand storm]'' Yeah?
:''[Skalamander grunts]''
:'''Rex''': ''[Rex kicks Skalamander]'' How about kicking against you, too?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Rex! You're not welcome here.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': Now, that hurt my feelings!
:''[Rex groaning]''
:''[Skalamander pins him to the sand, causing him to groan in pain]''
:''[Skalamander laughs]''
:'''Rex''': Aaah! Whoa!
:'''Van Kleiss''': If I never see your face again, It will be too soon!
:'''Rex''': Yeah? The feeling's-- Whoa! Mutual!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex? Rex, do you read me?
:''[Bobo coughing]''
:'''Bobo''': Okay, we gotta get outta here. I got sand in places I didn't even know I had places.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, if you can hear me, we're retreating to the safe zone. Rendezvous with us there.
:'''Rex''': AAAAH! WHOA-OHHHHHHH!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex coughs]''
:'''Rex''': Okay, Kleiss-- Go time! No EVO allies, just you and-- Whoa! Uh, sorry, buddy. Didn't mean to bring you along for the ride.
:'''Van Kleiss''': I don't need my EVO allies, when I can simply make more.
:'''Rex''': Don't get me wrong-- I love punching stuff. But anything you can do, I can undo better! We can do this all day. Or you can just spill it.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': Why are you causing this nanite-free zone?
:'''Van Kleiss''': How convenient it must be to make me the root of all evil. I'm not causing it. I've come to discover the source and destroy it.
:'''Rex''': This could be the cure to nanites.
:'''Van Kleiss''': And I live off nanites. What Providence calls a cure, I call death.
:'''Rex''': Really? Haven't we moved past this?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Huh?
:''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
:''[After Van Kleiss creates a scorpion EVO to attack Rex, it attacks him instead.]''
:'''Rex''': That is the funniest thing I have ever seen! Hang on-- I got to get this on video. ''[Takes out cell phone and starts recording Van Kleiss dodging the scorpion EVO.]''
:''[Van Kleiss panting]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Something's wrong. I should be controlling this creature.
:'''Rex''': Stinks to be you. Huh? You ruined my shot!
:'''Van Kleiss''': I believe we've found something more interesting.
:'''Rex''': You like to point out the obvious, don't you?
:'''Bobo''': Don't get me wrong-- I love the kid, but if we don't pull stakes now, we'll be combing dust outta all sorts of places for years.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Too late. Hold on to everything that's not tied down. This is going to be a bumpy... ride.
:'''Six''': Holiday? I trust you're all right?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': I'm fine, Six. But Rex is still out there-- With Van Kleiss. I can't reach him.
:'''Six''': We'll prep a rescue party. Prepare to come aboard.
:'''Rex''': Hey!
:'''Van Kleiss''': This is not simply a nanite-free zone. Something is stealing the nanites from our bodies. If we linger here too long, we may both find ourselves defenseless against the other.
:'''Rex''': Well, then, we'd better blow this joint. And when I say &quot;we&quot; I mean &quot;me&quot;.
:''[Rex tries to escape and fails]''
:'''Rex''': AAAAAAAAH!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': If either of us is to escape this place, we will have to work together.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': What exactly are you suggesting?
:'''Van Kleiss''': A temporary truce.
:'''Rex''': An extremely temporary truce.
:'''Van Kleiss''': We'll work our way to the center of the nanite storm.
:'''Rex''': No, we work our way out of the nanite storm and get Providence in here to figure out what's happening.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Providence? They can't be trusted.
:'''Rex''': Them? Didn't you try to take over New York? And Europe? And the world?
:'''Van Kleiss''': You need to listen to me, Rex. Without a powers, you're nothing but a child.
:'''Rex''': Oh, yeah? Truce over! Okay. This is awkward. Hey, is it just me, or are you getting really dust?
:'''Van Kleiss''': It's happening faster than I thought.
:'''Rex''': What's happening faster? If you know something, you'd better spit it out, or-- Whoa! It all looks fossilized. Like it's made completely out of... sand.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Not only are there no nanites here, this is pure silicone. There are no other elements-- No carbon, calcium, hydrogen. It appears that this zone not only destroys nanites, but is--
:'''Rex''': Squeezing the life from the Earth. This isn't sand. This is me!
:''[Rex whimpering]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': These glyphs-- There's something familiar about them. Sumatran? Mesopotamian?
:'''Rex''': Less geeking, more escaping!
:'''Van Kleiss''': We need to find the epicenter of this maze. These glyphs may hold the answer.
:'''Rex''': Only if one says &quot;exit sign.&quot;
:'''Van Kleiss''': No need to panic, Rex. We have at least twenty minutes before fossilization-- Give or take.
:'''Rex''': &quot;Don't panic&quot;-- Says the guy who used to be dirt.
:''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
:'''Rex''': We're turning into walking litter boxes, and you're checking out caveman graffiti? No wonder I'm always kicking your butt.
:'''Van Kleiss''': You don't have an investigative bone in your body, do you? So strongheaded-- Just like your mother. ''[Rex is silent]'' No, you don't like that, do you-- That I know more about you than you do?
:'''Rex''': Skip the head games. Isn't exactly a good time.
:'''Van Kleiss''': No, but perhaps it is time for some truth. We may perish down here, Rex. Ask me anything you want about the past, and I'll answer it.
:'''Rex''': ''[looks at his own slowly fossilizing body]'' Sell it somewhere else. I'm not buying.
:''[walks away]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Oh, so the great and powerful Providence has finally come through on their promise to help you remember your past.
:'''Rex''': Something better-- Someone who was actually there at the Nanite Event.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Aha. Your brother, Caesar.
:''[Van Kleiss chuckles evilly]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': I've been following you both very closely since his... miraculous reappearance. Even if you don't want to hear what I have to say, this one's for free. Do not place your trust in Caesar. He's not the man you believe him to be.
:'''Rex''': ''[creates his BFS and holds it at Van Kleiss' throat]'' What are you getting at?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Oh, no, no. That's not how this works. It isn't my turn. Quid pro quo, Rex. If you want to know more-- Why don't we start with something simple? Rylander's Omega Nanite. I know it's inside you.
:'''White Knight''': Status uptade?
:'''Six''': Still no fix on Rex. Scanners can't cut through the storm, so we're moving in to stage a recon.
:'''White Knight''': I will not risk everyone on board that ship for one agent. Not even that agent.
:''[Holiday subtly ends the call. Then to Six]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Whoops. Guess the satellite feed went down. Nasty sand.
:''[Six smirks]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Caesar? Wanted you to know we haven’t found him yet.
:'''Caesar''': Found who?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex.
:'''Caesar''': Right. Ah. Sorry. That was, uh, fifteen minutes ago. I've done about five hundred task since then. Try calibrating the keep's sensors to search for traces of Selenium. It's something Rex naturally gives off, like dandruff.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': I-- Really? Hmm. Okay, thanks.
:'''Van Kleiss''': So what you're saying is, the motor runs off of gravity and the only exhausts are atoms of selenium.
:'''Rex''': Now you. Squid Pro... Whatever. The nanites, the Event. What started all this?
:'''Van Kleiss''': He didn't tell you? I'm not surprised. It was Caesar.
:''[Rex pushes Van Kleiss to nearest wall and take out his BFS once again]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Wasteful, Rex.
:'''Rex''': You're lying!
:'''Van Kleiss''': Hardly. Your brother is responsible for the most significant catastrophe in human history. You have to admit that as brilliant as Caesar is, he's... not quite right. Am I telling you something that you haven't already noticed?
:''[Rex groans]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': HAAAH!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Van Kleiss coughing]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': You seem to have awoken some sort of defense mechanism.
:'''Rex''': What are they defending? Rocks?
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Before we're totally devoid of nanites, we need to end this now-- Together.
:'''Rex''': Back to back!
:'''Van Kleiss''': What?
:'''Rex''': Haven't you ever read a comic book? Back to back! No way. These markings-- They're not hieroglyphics. They're circuit boards. This whole cave, this valley-- It's one giant circuit board. These are data conduits-- Ms. Hubs!
:'''Van Kleiss''': You're right. These spirals are solid-state storage-- The standard design for a firewall in a CPU.
:'''Rex''': Did you just say I'm right? Now that I know what we're dealing with, it's a simple matter of-- Hacking in. This is malo-- Muy malo. Van Kleiss, meet the psycho computer who calls herself--
:'''Van Kleiss''': Zag-RS?
:'''Rex''': How do you know that? ''[Zag-RS notices them and attacks them]'' You know Zag-RS? How?
:'''Van Kleiss''': She was designed as a decontamination program at the original nanite laboratory. Her task was to destroy any rogue nanites that escaped from the holding tanks.
:'''Rex''': She did a great job. Whoever designed her should be taken out and beaten with a tendril.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Caesar designed her.
:'''Rex''': I'm gonna have to have a chat with my brother when this is over.
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Focus, you fool. If we're to survive this, we have to use whatever nanites we have left to shut her down.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': No problemo! Ah, come on! Stay up! Show off!
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': Well, this bites.
:''[Rex straining]''
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': Didn't I leave you in orbit? Shouldn't you have burned up in re-entry or something?
:'''Zag-RS''': Re-entry resulted in a hard desert landing. This unit faced complete system failure. Salvation came from integration with the host space station power cell, where new initiatives were established.
:'''Rex''': Turning the world into a sandbox?
:'''Zag-RS''': Correct. The prevention of organic infection by elimination of organic matter and securing the Earth core system. Soon, this world will function without flaw.
:'''Rex''': Van Kleiss! Change of plan! While, I've got Zaggy occupied, you go and warn Providence before it's too late!
:'''Van Kleiss''': There's no time. Her strength is growing exponentially. To achieve victory, you must trust me.
:'''Rex''': Trust you?! That's comedy gold! Even if I was that big of a doof, neither one of us had enough power to fight back!
:'''Van Kleiss''': That's not entirely true.
:'''Rex''': Huh?
:'''Van Kleiss''': I've not been completely honest with you.
:'''Rex''': Stunned-- Really.
:'''Van Kleiss''': The Omega Nanite within you has a self-replicating program. You can create your own nanites.
:'''Rex''': What?! Why didn't you tell me!
:'''Van Kleiss''': A calculated emission.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': No way.
:'''Van Kleiss''': There-- That is the heart of Zag-RS. Strike while you can!
:'''Rex''': Oh, yeah! Now we're talking! Normally, I don't fight girls, but this time I'll make... A big... giant... robot exception!
:'''Dr. Holiday''': I found him, Six-- twenty kilometers northeast. There's a huge spike in trace selenium.
:'''Six''': Charge all weapons.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': The storm's starting to break. But please don't crash.
:'''Rex''': YAAAH!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': That's not fair! It worked in the movie!
:''[Rex whimpers]''
:''[Rex groaning]''
:'''Rex''': AAAH!
:'''Zag-RS''': You have miscalculated, human. The more nanites you replicate, the more energy you supply me. 7.5 seconds until I overtake your production.
:''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
:'''Zag-RS''': 4.3 seconds.
:'''Van Kleiss''': AAAAAAAAAH!
:'''Rex''': YAAAAAAH! One psycho robot down, one supervillain to chicken! Finally!
:'''Bobo''': What, you never heard the term &quot;fashionably late&quot;?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Your nanite-replicating function seems to be working well. Most of Zag-RS' alterations have been expunged.
:'''Rex''': Meaning... What?
:'''Bobo''': You ain't gonna wash away at high tide.
:'''Caesar''': This is my design.
:'''Rex''': Great-- My brother created Zag-RS.
:'''Caesar''': Evidently. Though her evolution into some sort of sentient nanite-slayer is most curious.
:'''Six''': Curious?
:'''Rex''': What about what Van Kleiss said?
:'''Caesar''': You mean I'm to blame for the original nanite event? Why don't we ask her? Wait! Interface protocols. Code designate Zag-RS. Respond.
:'''Zag-RS''': Dr. Salazar. Good morning. How may I assist you?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Stand down, gentlemen. Zag-RS has been successfully rebooted. But her memory has been wiped clean.
:'''Rex''': What? You got to be kidding me!
:'''Caesar''': That's interesting. Hmm. Van Kleiss must have implemented a program dump before he left you. It's the only logical conclusion.
:'''Rex''': Program dump?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Do not place your trust in Caesar. He's not the man you believe him to be.
:'''Rex''': Great. So now all we've got is a lame decontamination program with a GPS lady's voice?
:'''Caesar''': GPS lady? Hardly.
:'''Rex:''' I was making a joke.
:'''Caesar''': Don't you recognize it? When I programmed her, I wanted a voice that meant safety, protection, caring. Rex, this is our mother's voice.
:'''Rex''': ''[shocked]'' Mama?

===Night Falls===
: '''Rex:''' If she's not really our grandmother, why are you calling her ''aubuela''?
: '''Caesar:''' There may not be a biological connection but she practically ran the entire town. When you were a boy, you spent every summer here.
: '''Rex:''' I wish I could remember...or any of this.
===Hard Target===
: '''Rex:''' &quot;It's Breach! She's-&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Messing with you, Rex. Did you actually see on her the other side?&quot;
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Well, no but...OK, why Hong Kong?&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Because it's on the other side of the world, because she's seriously messed up.&quot;
: '''Cricket:'''&quot; Kind of like our place.&quot; 
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Trust me. She's back in Abysus laughing it off with the rest of the Pack. Besides, I'm not that easy to find.&quot;
: (''Removes the white towel to reveal her shoulder-length black hair partly dyed a deep plum and having donned a dark gray overall dress'')
: '''Rex:''' &quot;OK, Rex. Bad intro. Take a do-over. Like the new look.&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Wow. A compliment.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Skywdd:''' &quot;And that's when Circe goes all [[w:Siren (mythology)|siren]] and blasts the bus driver's pants clean off.&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;Lucky shot. Hit the exact frequency of polyester.&quot;
:'''Tuck:''' &quot;Good thing his boxers were cotton.&quot;
:'''Rex''' (''uncomfortable'')''':''' &quot;Good one. Uh, Circe, remember when you took down that sea monster in Cabo Luna?&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;Please, Rex, I'd rather not remember that right now.&quot;
:'''Skywdd:''' Geez, Rex. Buzzkill.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Stop it.&quot;
:'''Skywdd:''' &quot;What's with him?&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;Breach lag. Let clean over his bedtime.&quot;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;That and my early morning snooze. By the way, you were right. Breach wasn't after you. She freed Quarry. Got this from the Providence security feed.&quot;
:'''Skywdd:''' &quot;Quarry?&quot;
:'''Tuck:''' &quot;He's lose?&quot;
:'''Cricket:''' &quot;Oh no.&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;You saw Breach and came back ''here!'' What if she followed you!?&quot;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Don't worry. If Breach were here, I'd feel it. She's here.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Breach:''' &quot;Hey, girlfriend.&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Get out of here, Breach!&quot;
: '''Breach:''' &quot;But Van Kleiss has so been wanting to chat.&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Then deliver a message for him! &quot;
: (''Uses her ultrasonic bursts on Breach, who creates a portal behind her, knocking her out with her own sonic abilities)''
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Let her go, Breach!!&quot;
: '''Breach:''' &quot;Oh, sorry, Rex. She's gonna save my skin. V.K.'s tough on failure, remember?&quot;
: (''Teleports away with an unconscious Circe on her shoulder'')
: '''Rex:''' &quot;NO!!&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Hold that thought. You can come out now. I got that creeped out feeling.&quot;
:'''Breach:''' &quot;Peek a boo.&quot;
: '''Skwydd:''' &quot;It's her!'' She took Circe.&quot;
: '''Rex:''' But not to Van Kleiss. You never went to Abysus, did you? You slipped her into your little pocket dimension. Let her go, Breach!
: '''Breach:''' And I agree to that...why?
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Because you wouldn't want Van Kleiss to see this. I'm thinking a trade is in order.&quot;
: (''Breach releases Circe, who is caught by Skwydd'')
: '''Circe:''' &quot;I hate you, Breach.&quot;

===A Family Holiday===
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' The pace of study has been staggeringly slow. There have been no significant advancements in nanite research since the original event. Simply put, Providence is not doing enough. What is required is not a military response, but a serious, thoughtful reaction, a scientific answer. The poor and afflicted deserve more. The world, deserves more. Let me introduce Diane. Mother of three. Diane has been diagnosed as incurable, a lost cause. Since then, she's been treated like an animal, locked away from her family... No hope on the horizon. Until now. At Moses Labs, we don't rely on tanks, guns, or secret weapons-- Only an unwavering belief that whatever science breaks, science can fix. Welcome back, Diane.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Happy birthday, little sister.
:'''Rex:''' Hope that I paid the bills. This is going to be expensive.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Caesar:''' Release the hounds.
:''[a door opens revealing some Evo hounds]''
:'''Rex:''' Huh? Whoa!
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Heh! I thought that was just a figure of speech. You're a sick puppy.
:'''Rex:''' Aah! Not cool, bro!
:''[Rex panting]''
:'''Rex:''' ''[Spanish accent]'' Agua, por favor.
:'''Caesar:''' Water second, probes first.
:'''Rex:''' No offense, but being a guinea pig is a lot less fun when it's you instead of Holiday.
:'''Caesar:''' Don't I run the biometric tests with the same efficiency?
:'''Rex:''' How are we related? Have you looked at Holiday?
:'''Bobo Haha:''' She ain't my species and even I know she's a hottie.
:'''Caesar:''' She is... very smart.
:'''Rex:''' Where is the Doc anyway? She usually can't wait to get her hands on me.
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Saw her this morning, looking pretty grim.
:'''Agent Six:''' It's her sister. Her sister's birthday to be precise. Holiday gets introspective this time of year.
:'''Caesar:''' Her sister? Oh, is she smart too?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hey guys. Can't talk. Hangar!
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Ah, human dames. I don't know how you guys keep up.
:''[Dr. Holiday pants]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Thank you for coming, Dr. Moses. It's a genuine honor.
:'''Rex:''' Who the heck is that guy? Why is Holiday acting all fangirl around him?
:'''Caesar:''' It's Dr. Brandon Moses, the leading researcher in technogenic transmorphing! If anyone's going to develop a kill  for EVOs, it's going to be him!
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Now, that's actin' fan-girl.
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Not the worst I've seen.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Can you help her?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Beverly would be an excellent candidate for my treatments. Have her transported to my facility.
:'''Rex:''' Hold up! I know you have a bunch of letters after your name, but curing EVOs is what I do. Some of them--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Some you just can't handle, Rex. Dr. Moses' research goes to places you don't, so if you don't mind-- 10 minutes, then we'll be in the air. Thank you, doctor. I've earned 5 years' worth of personal time, Knight. I plan to use it all. 
:'''White Knight:''' I don't like it, but I like your sister even less. Go for your &quot;cure&quot;, Holiday. But if it doesn't work, don't bring her back.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Agent Six:''' What do you really know about Dr. Moses?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I know what I saw.
:'''Agent Six:''' You're not taking her to the doctor for a checkup. Has he handed you supporting data?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Why won't you let me have this? It's the first glimmer of hope I've had since Rex got here.
:'''Agent Six''': I think you've lost your objectivity. If you can't help her--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That's the point! I can't! I need this cure. If you won't help me, stay out of my way!
:'''Rex:''' Any chance she's right?
:'''Agent Six:''' Hope she is.
:'''Rex:''' But we're not going to sit around and do nothing in case she's wrong, right? Today you're my sidekick-- Not a fashion-challenged soccer mom blocking my mojo. If there's any chance of playing hero for Holiday, I call dibs.
:'''Security guard:''' Dr. Moses' inventions are not for public viewing-- Especially not by Providence.
:''[Security guard grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' That &quot;soccer mom&quot; comment really got to you, huh? When did science geeks start packing heat? Huh?
:'''Agent Six:''' Check the machine.
:'''Rex:''' I'm no engineer, but as far as I can tell, all this thing does is light up and go &quot;ping&quot;. They never cured it! This was a scam!
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday's in trouble. Holiday, Moses is a fraud. There is no cure!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' What's going on here? Moses, what is this?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Business, Dr. Holiday-- Big business. Now, if you wouldn't mind stepping aside so I can collect your sister--
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday?! What's happening?!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Or don't step aside. I'm good either way.
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday! We've got our coordinates. Go!
:'''Rex:''' It's a hundred miles away!
:'''Agent Six:''' Correct.
:'''Rex:''' Hold on to your swords, old man!
:''[Dr. Holiday grunts]:''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I trusted you!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' A bad trait, a scientist. But look on the bright side-- You won't be locked in a cell anymore. That was just... Shameful.
:'''Rex:''' Be the hero. Be the hero. Be the--
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' ...Zero. You'll be a lot less grouchy in a few seconds, pal. Half cured? That's new.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' They've got Beverly.
:'''Rex:''' You wanna talk to her?
:'''Agent Six:''' Now's not the time.
:'''Rex:''' And when exactly is. She needs a friend, Six.
:'''Agent Six:''' I... prefer to keep it professional. Keeps people from getting hurt.
:'''Rex:''' Dude. Take off the sunglasses. She's already hurting. If I were you--
:''[Six gets a radio signal]''
:'''Agent Six:''' If you were me, you'd have a lead. Get Holiday. Dust off in 3.
:'''Rex:''' Where are we going?
:'''Agent Six:''' Moses may be a genius but not because he can cure EVOs. He overpowers them-- Hypercharges the nanites with excess energy to push their transformations.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That's why Rex only partially cured that EVO he stripped the EVO of its extra power. But at its core, it was still incurable.
:'''Rex:''' We learned something new today. Great.
:'''Agent Six:''' Gets worse. Moses has turned his tech into a cottage industry. He takes incurables and weaponizes them to sell to the highest bidder.
:'''Rex:''' Don't sugarcoat it, Six.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' How did you find this out?
:'''Agent Six:''' I called some former associates-- People who know things, things that good people shouldn't know about.
:'''White Knight:''' Question-- Why is my keep on an unapproved mission?
:'''Rex:''' It's cool, Knight. We're helping Holiday.
:'''White Knight:''' No! We had a deal! Return to base immediately!
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's over guys. I can't drag you down because of my mistake. I won't.
:'''Agent Six:''' Keep returning to base.
:''[Knight ends the transmission]''
:'''Agent Six:''' I said the keep is returning to base. I didn't say we'd be on the keep.
:'''Rex:''' You okay?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hanging in there.
:'''Rex:''' Hanging in there is good. I don't like to see you unhappy, you know. I-I mean--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I know what you mean. Thanks.
:'''Agent Six:''' Better luck next time.
:''[Rex gasps]''
:'''Rex:''' Jealous much, sidekick?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Who is that?
:'''Rex:''' Someone who knows things good people shouldn't.
:'''Five:''' Machine boy! Like the new ax? You owe me for the last one.
:'''Agent Six:''' We'll talk music later, Five. You have word on Moses?
:'''Five:''' Five don't lie. Your guy is running an auction-- Tonight.
:'''Agent Six:''' I owe you.
:'''Five:''' She's a lot more beautiful than you let on, Six. Try not to screw it up this time.
:'''Agent Six:''' You coming?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' The EVO is the military ordinance of the future. We all know it. You drop one of these babies into your neighbor's backyard, and it's game over. But to get the most annihilation out of your nanites... you need me.
:'''Human EVO:''' You promised to cure!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' My technology not only amps up their abilities, but, for an extra charge, will modify their behavior to suit your needs. What am I bid for this army of one?
:'''Agent Six:''' ''[Bursting in]'' I'll open with extradition for crimes against humanity!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' ''[to his bidders]'' Wait! This is just a minor disturbance.
:''[Moses groans]''
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' ''[to Holiday]'' Do you know what you just cost me, all for one hopless wreck?!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Holiday hits Moses]'' Her name is Beverly.
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Then give sissy a hug.
:'''Dr Holiday:''' No! Don't hurt her, Rex!
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, sure. Handle with care. Whoa! Can you tell her that, too?
:'''Agent Six:''' Going nowhere?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Uh, let's not be ''[chuckling]'' rash.
:''[Holiday slaps Moses]''
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' I'm gonna have to get you a dictionary. Rash will not help anyone, especially not Beverly.
:''[Holiday grabs Moses]''
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Who can still be cured.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Holiday drops Moses]'' What?
:'''Agent Six:''' ''[Brandishing his swords]'' No games. Truth or dead.
:'''Rex:''' Fight still going! Need assistance! Big time! Whoa!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' I did invent a machine that de-powered nanites, almost. But the bonds and nanite particles were too strong to break. Instead, I discovered that I could reverse the polarity to its maximum, overpowering the nanites. It's easier and-- Profitable.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' But you did isolate the bonds? So, you can break them!
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa! Ugh! Unh! Okay, I called hero, but I need some extra kick for my sidekick! Unh! Seriously!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Time to earn a return on my investments! Kill them all!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa! Whoa! 
:'''White Knight:''' I won't even bother telling you the trouble you're in. Catch those other EVOs and report to my office the moment you're back.
:'''Rex:''' What other EVO-O-O-O-Os?
:''[Rex turns around and notices the EVOs behind him]''
:'''Rex:''' Ooos?
:'''Rex:''' Think they got it?
:'''Agent Six:''' They'd better. We're busy.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Unh! Okay. That's the flux transponder. That's the nanite energizer. Don't you explode on me-- Not now. Aah!
:'''Rex:''' I'll hand the one crazed sister. You take the other. It'll be like a double date. Don't bother... your sister... while she's working!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I can see what he did, but... uh... there's no time! I can't-- I can't help her! It's over.
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday-- Rebecca-- You are the strongest, smartest woman I have ever met, and the most stubborn.
:''[Six removes his glasses and looks her in the eyes]''
:'''Agent Six:''' You never give up. If there's a way to help your sister, find it-- now!
:''[Slight pause. Holiday smiles and puts Six's glasses back on his face then leaves]''
:'''Agent Six:''' That's my girl. New plan. Corral her to the machine.
:'''Rex:''' Plans are good! Yah! What you got, Doc?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Moses was right. The polarity of the nanite energizer is wrong! I have to amplify and reverse it. But I don't have-- Six... Your magna blades-- But it would be too dangerous. Six!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six!
:'''Agent Six:''' Is it working?
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's working.
:'''Rex:''' Six, get out of there!
:'''Agent Six:''' You called hero on this one, Rex! Finish it-- For her! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Unh! Get them out, Rex-- Both of them-- Now!
:''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
:'''Rex:''' Doc! You gotta see this!
:''[Dr. Holiday panting]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[as she's trying to revive Six]'' Don't you do this to me! I will hate you forever if you--
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:''[Six coughs]''
:'''Beverly:''' Rebecca?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Beverly!
:'''Rex:''' That was... I'm... Wow! Six, I've never said it before and I'll probably never say it again, but... I'm honored to be your partner.
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Mushy stuff? Oh! Glad I missed it.
:'''Rex:''' But don't ever do anything like that again.
:'''Agent Six:''' Agreed. But you have to admit though... It was worth it.
:''[Dr. Holiday and Beverly laughs]''
:'''White Knight:''' We're not running a boarding house here. No more relatives.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I just need her for a few more tests, sir. She was only 13 when she went Evo, and she's in a fragile state.
:'''Beverly:''' Woo Hoo!
:''[Beverly laughing]''
:'''Beverly:''' Rex just took me on a ride through the Zoo on his cycle.
:'''White Knight:''' &quot;Fragile.&quot; Right.
:'''Rex:''' We're going to the mall.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Are you asking permission?
:'''Rex:''' No. I'm asking if we can have some money. Providence pays me nada.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Can I have a word with you?
:'''Agent Six:''' Sure this is a good idea? Could ruin your hero status with Holiday.
:'''Rex:''' It's funny. After meeting Bev, out of nowhere, it hit me that Doc Holiday is just a little too old for me. So, since I'm out of the way, I guess there's nothing stopping you anymore, huh, &quot;hero&quot;?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Well... right. I guess... I'll set up those tests.
:''[Holiday starts to walk past Six. Six takes a hold of her hand]''
:'''Agent Six:''' Or... we could get some dinner.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Outside? In the real world? Like real people? Like a--
:'''Agent Six:''' Yes. Like a date.
:''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's about time.

===Hong Kong Nights===

===Whispers in the Dark===
===Cutting It Close===

===Exposed===
:'''White Knight''': All Providence personnel, this is a priority-one alert.
:'''Agent Six''': Do not panic. Remember your training.
:'''White Knight''': In all my years of working at Providence, never have I been put in such a situation. These interlopes could be anywhere at any given moment.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Hey, what's all the-- Whoa! Sorry. We're late.
:'''Bobo Haha''': You can't prove a thing!
:'''White Knight''': Watch what you say. Watch what you do. The very future of Providence may depend upon it.
:'''Rex Salazar''': So, what's going on? Van Kleiss attack in the HQ again?
:'''Agent Six''': Worse.
:'''Diane Farrah:''' I'm Diane Farrah, and for the first time ever, we've got an exclusive all-access pass inside the top-secret organization known as Providence. To uncover for our viewers, all the juiciest behind-the-scenes details of this most secret of institutions. And to find out the real story behind that man of mystery you've all wondered about for so long.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Aah.
:'''Diane Farrah''': All your questions are about to be answered. Welcome to Providence Exposed! ''[Camera closes-up on her face]'' On Ultimate Exposure! And cut. Great into, guys. Okay, moving on.
:'''Rex Salazar''': This is cool.
:'''Agent Six''': This is wrong.
:'''Rex Salazar''': How's my hair?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Delicious.
:'''White Knight''': Ladies and gentlemen, the delightful Miss Farrah and her crew have used the Freedom of Information Act to force.
:''[White Knight clears his throat]''
:'''White Knight''': To allow them access to a day in the life of Providence. And to ensure you are afforded the very best Providence has to offer, I'm assigning our top man as your personal guide.
:''[Rex moves towards the news team]''
:'''White Knight''': Six, please show Miss Farrah whatever she wants to see.
:'''Agent Six''': Agent Six is the name. On behalf of Providence, I'd like to welcome you to our facility.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Spare me the small talk. I'm here to ask the tough questions, and I expect truthful answers.
:'''Agent Six''': Shoot.
:'''Diane Farrah''': So.. is there a Mrs. Six?
:''[Combs her hair]''
:'''Bobo Haha''': Smooth.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Like you'd have done better.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Are you kidding? They want exposed. I'm going to give that reporter a piece of my mind and a few other pieces while I'm at it. I got stories that'll make them run screaming for the hills.
:''[Bobo Haha laughs]''
:'''Agent Six''': If you'll follow me, I'll be happy to show you one of our nanite research labs up close and personal. EVO control is our primary area of concentration, but Providence is focused on a great many studies. Each employing the best and the brightest our planet has to offer.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Thanks, Six. You know, this is my brother's lab. He's only like the smartest guy in the entire world. Yeah, being the best at what we do totally runs in our family.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Not a good time.
:'''Agent Six''': That experiment is highly sensitive.
:'''Diane Farrah''': So, Agent Six, how did you become a Providence agent?
:'''Agent Six''': That's also highly sensitive.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Amazing story though about how I became a Providence agent. See, there was this big accident.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Good morning. My name is Dr. Rebecca Holiday, And I'm the chief research officer for the Providence Laboratory Facilities - specializing in the study of evology. Providence's number one priority is the security of our planet. And through the studying and understanding the forces that threaten us--
:'''Diane Farrah''': Let's cut to the chase, shall we, doctor?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Oh, um, okay.
:'''Diane Farrah''': How do you balance the threat of EVOs, the constant danger... with being a woman?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Uh.
:''[Dr. Holiday laughs nervously]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Oh, excuse me.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Speaking of studying, check this out. You can edit that, right?
:'''Diane Farrah''': We're all about the editing.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, maybe you could show these journalists some of your other duties, like what you're supposed to be doing right now, for instance.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, man. That's right. Come on. You're going to love this.
:'''Diane Farrah''': EVOs come from far and wide for a chance to be cured by this young man. How often do you do this?
:'''Rex Salazar''': At least once a week here at HQ. When I'm in other parts of the county or the world, Providence sets up a mobile cure station. There are a lot of people out there who need my help. I only wish I could get to them all. Wait. Um, let my try again. ''[after Rex can't cure an EVO]'' Shut it off.
:'''Diane Farrah''': But this is really good drama, Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I asked to be on TV. They didn't. Please give these people their privacy.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Come on, buddy. Everybody has an off day.
:'''Rex Salazar''': In front of millions of viewers? So much for everyone's favorite Providence man of mystery.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Well, they're just lucky they haven't had the camera on me yet. Oh man, talk about Ultimate Exposure. When I get through with them--
:'''Rex Salazar''': I just wish I could look cool on camera somehow.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Phbt! Good luck. The only way that's going to happen now is if some experimental EVOs busted out of their cages and went on a rampage so you could round them up and look like a hero.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Providence isn't known for being forthcoming with information. I hope this interview will change that. The people want answers and I fully expect them from you.
:'''White Knight''': Very well. What do you want to know?
:'''Diane Farrah''': For starters, how do you get fresh milk without any nanites in it?
:'''White Knight''': If you must know, it's passed through a powerful magnet that removes and neutralizes any nanite activity.
:'''Agent Six''': Observe.
:''[White Knight smacks lips]''
:'''White Knight''': Anything else?
:'''Diane Farrah''': Not at the moment, but I'll be back.
:'''White Knight''': I look forward to it.
:''[White Knight sips]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': So, Agent Six, what do you think about White Knight's obsession with staying nanite-free at the expense of human contact?
:'''Agent Six''': He's a man of many mysteries.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Look out! Coming through! Dangerous escaped EVOs on the loose! Stand back! Let a professional handle this!
:'''Diane Farrah''': Follow him.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Yeah, I'm kind of awesome.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Did you get them all?
:'''Rex Salazar''': How many did you release?
:'''Bobo Haha''': I don't know, three or four.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, which was it? Three or four?
:''[Rex Salazar gasps]''
:'''Agent Six''': Well then. Now that Rex's little demonstration is over, how about a visit to the Providence gift shop? On me.
:'''Diane Farrah''': How long has Providence had a gift shop?
:'''Agent Six''': Since 8:00 A.M. You want to tell me how a class by EVO got out of its electromagnetically-sealed container and just happened to cross paths with our tour?
:'''Rex Salazar''': It's not like this kind of thing doesn't happen here all the time. I just wanted it to happen this time, in front of the camera, all right?
:'''Agent Six''': Not all right. That last EVO-- You just helped it molt so it could grow. Its body is still out there somewhere, getting bigger.
:'''White Knight''': Providence is run like a finely tuned machine. Until you decide to throw a monkey wrench into the works.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Hey, pal, let's leave the comedy to me.
:'''White Knight''': And how is it exactly that these EVOs got out?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Okay, Mea Culpa. I may have accidentally knocked open a cage or two-- Or four.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': That fourth cage was electromagnetically sealed.
:'''Bobo Haha''': I didn't say it was easy.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': The EVO we had contained in there feeds on electricity. It must be kept away from any electrical current.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Then it sure is a good thing this whole place isn't full of electricity. Oh, wait.
:'''White Knight''': Find it. Subdue it. And most importantly, don't let that camera crew see it.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Eh, were wastin' time hunting this thing down when I could be on camera right now, giving those people a piece of my mind.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Hey, I only saw the EVOs empty husk before. What's the real thing look like anyway? Huh?
:'''Bobo Haha''': That.
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:''[Rex Salazar grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Any suggestions?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Can you make a soccer net?
:''[Rex Salazar and Bobo Haha grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Aha! Got you cornered now. There's no way out. You're overpowered.
:'''Bobo Haha''': You were saying?
:'''Agent Six''': You wanted to interview me. Now's your chance. Go.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Um... okay. Tell me, Six-- May I call you Six?-- What is the real truth behind the nanite event that created the EVOs?
:'''Agent Six''': That's classified.
:'''Diane Farrah''': What is your role, if any, in that event?
:'''Agent Six''': That's classified, too.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Are you always this talkative?
:'''Agent Six''': No comment.
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Wait. Let me do that again. You didn't get my good side. Which is my good side?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Your backside.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Agent Six, you promised you were taking us to the heart of the operation.
:'''Agent Six''': Right. The heart of the operation. This way.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': [Watching from a monitor] It went right.
:''[Rex goes to his right. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Camera right!
:''[Rex goes to the camera's right]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': How can you miss it now? It's six feet in diameter and weighs five hundred pounds!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Less criticizing, more helping!
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Try to steer it in the direction of Hallway twelve. We can isolate it in the atrium.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, we've got it contained there now.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': No, sorry. I was reading that backwards. Hallway twenty one.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, Hallway twenty one leads to the central core!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, so, no big deal. That's a cold-fission reactor, not electric, right?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, all electricity is converted from something-- Wind, solar, hydro-- At the central core!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Ohh.
:''[Providence Agent screams]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Uh-hoh.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, listen carefully and do exactly as I say because we're only going to get one shot at this.
:'''Diane Farrah''': One shot at what, doctor?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': The... future. Providence is the future. The future used to be the space program. Now the future is Providence and the science of EVOs.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Doc? Are you still there? We have a situation.
:'''Agent Six''': Just a minor downgrade of power during a routine relay check. Nothing to worry about.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Guys, I could really use some advice right about now!
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''White Knight''': Attention all Providence Personnel, we have a Level-One Priority...
:''[Realizes the reporters are present]''
:'''White Knight''': Drill. Repeat-- This is our daily drill in the Central Core-- Now.
:'''Agent Six''': Lunch bell. It's taco day. Anyone hungry?
:'''Diane Farrah''': Agent Six, while we appreciate the commemorative spoons and the tacos, I can't help but think that you've been hiding something from our viewers.
:'''Agent Six''': Not at all, ma'am. Providence is an open book.
:''[Rex Salazar screams]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': Cut! You're ruining the shot, Rex. Just be patient. I will get to you-- I promise.
:''[Rex Salazar groans]''
:'''Agent Six''': Get down.
:''[Diane Farrah gasps]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': That was... what you did.
:'''Agent Six''': Just doing my job, ma'am.
:'''Rex Salazar''': And I'm just doing mine!
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': You're not going anywhere now, buddy, except back to your-- Cage?
:'''White Knight''': We hope that you and the Ultimate Exposure team are enjoying our EVO containment demonstration, Miss Farrah. All part of readiness training here at Providence.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Can I quote you on that?
:'''White Knight''': Miss Farah, I'm not gonna stop you from filming, but for your own safety and the safety of your crew, please step back and let my people do what they do best. Alpha Team, I need a containment of the cafeteria, cube formation. Fire! Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm on it.
:'''Agent Six''': Stay here. This is the real deal.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Not on your life. Find an elevator. We're missing it.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Still not a good ti-i-i-i-i-me!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, big boy. No more crawl spaces. No more Hallways. Just you and me in a big, old hangar bay mano y mano.
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Huh?
:'''Bobo Haha''': ''[after Rex has been repeatedly beaten back by the Evo]'' Looks like you showed him.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Are you going to talk, or are you going to help?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Talk. Kidding! I'm helping! I'm helping!
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:''[Rex Salazar groaning]''
:''[Rex Salazar groaning]''
:''[Rex Salazar sighs]''
:''[Rex Salazar groaning]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': Please tell me you're getting all of this.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Providence's man of mystery strikes again. Ow! It-- it bit me!
:'''Diane Farrah''': Quick, grab some B-roll footage before they get rid of all the evidence.
:'''Rex Salazar''': You did see that I did all the heavy lifting and Six just took out the trash, right?
:'''Diane Farah''': Don't worry. The camera never lies.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Yes!
:'''Bobo Haha''': Good! Then get a load of this!
:'''Diane Farah''': Do you have something to say?
:''[Camera zooms in on Bobo]''
:'''Bobo Haha''': Oh... oh.
:''[Bobo mutters then passes out]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': I think we have everything we need.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I don't know how you guys came off looking, but yours truly rocked hard. Just call me Providence's Man of Mystery from now on. Oh, yeah! Stardom starts in five, four, three, two--
:'''Diane Farrah''': I'm Diane Farrah, and for the first time ever, we've got an exclusive all-access pass inside the top-secret organization known as Providence. To uncover for our viewers, all the juiciest behind-the-scenes details of this most secret of institutions.
:'''Rex Salazar''': We are so dead.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Nice knowing you, kid.
:'''Diane Farrah''': To find out the real story behind that man of mystery you've all wondered about for so long.
:'''Agent Six''': Agent Six is the name.
:'''Rex Salazar''': They did it.
:'''Bobo Haha''': They did.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': This is a news show? What is the world coming to?
:'''Diane Farrah''': Look out, ladies. Agent Six is the full package -- brains, brawn, and--
:'''Agent Six''': Highly sensitive.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Just what is he hiding behind those alluring, dark glasses of his?
:'''Agent Six''': That's classified.
:'''Diane Farrah''': He's the Providence agent you women wanted to get to know.
:'''Agent Six''': Up close and personal.
:'''Diane Farrah''': That's right, girls.
:'''Agent Six''': He's The real deal.
:'''Diane Farrah''': And he's known throughout Providence as--
:'''Agent Six''': The heart of the operation.
:'''Diane Farrah''': He's the organization's best-kept secret, the ultimate agent, and--
:'''Agent Six''': The man of many mysteries.
:'''Diane Farrah''': And, yes, ladies, he is single -- or is he?
:''[Dr. Holiday laughs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Excuse me.
:'''Agent Six''': No comment.
:''[Rex and Bobo Haha laughs]''
:'''White Knight''': Well, that's a relief.
:'''Rex Salazar''': ''[after the story airs]'' So, man of mystery, what's it like being a big star adored by women everywhere?
:'''Agent Six''': No comment.

===Touch and Go===
===The Siren's Lament===
* Flashbacks as to how Circe came to work for Van Kleiss.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Grounded===
===Six Minus Six===
===In Dreams===

===Lions and Lambs===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:''[Providence agents are standing in an industrial area, fingers on triggers. Rex flies in on jet pack and lands beside all the agents.]''
:'''Rex:''' Any sign? ''[Rex notices agents shaking in fear.]'' Alright then, who’s up for a burger, anyone? Tough crowd.
:''[Six walks up.]''
:'''Six:'''	These agents seem nervous. Haven’t they dealt with this situation before?
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, that's kind of the problem.
:''[Rex twitches, as if he is feeling Breach's presence.]''
:'''Providence Agent:''' Here she comes.
:''[Breach appears in front of them. They fire at her. She sends their missiles and agents away with red portals.]''
:'''Six:'''	How do we stop her?
:'''Rex:'''	''[Smack Hands.]'' Hit hard and keep clear of anything that glows.
:''[Breach has a collar around her neck like the one Van Kleiss wears, and a device on her chest like his only much larger and shackles are around her giant hands which look like Van Kleiss's bio-mechanical wrist. She opens a red portal. A giant jellyfish-like thing flies out at Six, then a large creature with a horn on its nose runs out. Rex jumps at Breach, she portals out, returns and the device on her chest starts sparking.]''
:'''Rex:'''	What's with the new toy, Breach?
:'''Breach:'''	''[Glares]'' Wouldn’t you like to know?
:''[T-Rex appears through a gold colored portal, sniffs Rex.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Seriously, where do you find these things? Let's see what you started out as, big guy. ''[Tries to cure.] Six? This... this isn't an EVO!'' It's an actual T-Rex! ...Six?
:''[Rex runs from T-Rex.]''
:'''Breach:'''	Have fun. ''[Leaves through red portal.]''
:''[Rex hides behind light pole, T-Rex pulls pole from ground, Rex falls to the ground.]''
:'''Six:'''	I take it this sort of thing doesn't happen all the time?
:'''Rex:''' Try never? This is all kinds of wrong.
:''[Rex makes BFS, runs at T-Rex; Six runs at T-Rex, jumps on and stabs it in back.]''
:'''Holiday:'''	Is that what I think it is?
:'''Six:''' You mean about to be extinct?
:'''Holiday:''' If you destroy the scientific find of a lifetime, it won’t be the only thing.
:'''Rex:'''	It's trying to eat us.
:'''Six:'''	You heard the lady. Take it down soft.
:'''Rex:'''	Easy for you to say.
:''[Rex lies on the ground holding the jaws open with Smack Hands and it slobbers on him.]''
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Video of T-Rex in confinement field. The T-Rex turns to dust.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Breach is powerful enough as it is, and now you're telling me she can travel through time?
:'''Holiday:'''	However she's doing it, I haven't worked out all the kinks yet. That dinosaur reverted to its actual age about less than two hours after arrival.
:'''Caesar:'''	Photo and deep scan analysis reveals some very interesting technology at work here. Van Kleiss has really stepped up his game.
:'''White Knight:''' Skip the fan talk. How do we stop it?
:'''Caesar:'''	Until I get my hands on the device, I'm not certain we can.
:'''White Knight:''' We have to bring her to our side.
:'''Rex:'''	The only way she's coming here is if she does it willingly.
:'''White Knight:''' How do you propose we persuade her?
:'''Rex:'''	With me. ''[Six and Holiday stare at him skeptically.]'' I can be very convincing. Okay, okay. I think she might still have a thing for me.
:'''Bobo:''' Atta boy, work it on the crazy chick.
:'''White Knight:''' I don't care how we do it as long as we get results. Providence is under the microscope. It is the worst time for Van Kleiss to gain the upper hand. Get to it. Bring her in.
:''[Six and Holiday walking out of the room together down the hall.]''
:'''Six:''' ''[To Holiday.]'' I need a word. Something's wrong with White.
:'''Holiday:'''	Oh. That. He’s always like this, Six.
:'''Six:'''	No. This is different. I know when something is bothering him. The secret meetings, the anxiety. He’s up to something.
:'''Holiday:'''	I'll see what I can find out.
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Rex on hoverboard, in Providence stealth suit.]''
:'''Rex:'''	WHOO-HOO! Works pretty good. After all, I built it. ''[Loses control of board for a moment.]''
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Van Kleiss's castle, Rex hiding by entrance.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Going in. ''[Pulls up stealth mask, disappears partly, runs past guard.]''
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Breach is hooked up to a large machine. Van Kleiss stands before her with a huge bank of controls and displays, spooky dark lighting. She screams.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' This is unacceptable, Breach. I need you to concentrate.
:'''Breach:''' It hurts.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Think of what I'm trying to achieve here. I cannot fail.
:''[Breach screams in agony and collapses.]''
:''[Rex looks down horrified, Van Kleiss grins, Breach screams and falls down.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I'll return when it recharges and we'll start again.
:''[Rex holds his hand out to her.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Why do you let him do this to you?
:'''Breach:''' Glory.
:'''Rex:'''	Van Kleiss's glory. Is he even noticing how you're tearing yourself apart for him? Have you ever heard him say thank you? What do you say we blow this joint, you and me? He's hurting you.
:'''Breach:'''	It's not real. It can't hurt you if it isn't real.
:'''Rex:'''	Breach, look at me. It is. I'm real, all of this is real. You don't have to live this way.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Why am I not surprised. Rex has come to rescue another of my lost sheep. Perhaps he'll try to save you next, Biowulf.
:'''Rex:'''	That depends. Is he housebroken yet?
:'''Biowulf:'''	I am no traitor.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	You’ve no doubt seen our little experiment. Breach shows great promise. She just needs a little fine tuning.
:'''Rex:'''	Then what? Go back in time and be king of the cavemen?
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Why not? It wouldn’t be much of a step down, now would it? Breach, if you would, remove our guest so we can continue. Practice makes perfect, or in your case, acceptable.
:''[Breach makes a red portal.]''
:'''Rex:''' Breach! Think about what you're doing.
:''[Van Kleiss grins, she runs and puts her arms around Rex, portals out with Rex.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Find her. Now.
:''[Mountains, snow, Rex shivering.]''
:'''Rex:'''	I'm glad you got us out of there, but where... are we?
:'''Breach:'''	When the snow is gone you can see forever.
:'''Rex:''' That's nice. Can we go now?
:'''Breach:''' I need to know if I can trust you.
:'''Rex:'''	You can trust me. I swear.
:''[Breach grabs his hand and hugs him. He opens his eyes. They are standing on a shiny endless reflective surface, reflecting stars.]''
:'''Rex:'''	This is different.
:'''Breach:'''	Do you see it?
:'''Rex:'''	Um--
:'''Breach:'''	This is where the stillness comes from.
:'''Rex:'''	You. Are weird. So what exactly does this mean? Are you coming with me or is this some kind of test?
:'''Breach:'''	I need you to see it.
:'''Rex:'''	Ah... A test.
:'''Breach:'''	Do you wanna understand?
:'''Rex:'''	Not exactly sure. ''[She glares, he waves his hands in front of him.]'' Yes, I mean yes. I mean--
:'''Breach:''' Follow me. ''[Walks through red portal.]''
:''[Another place. A door, a doll, a bear and a fire hydrant float in space.]''
:''[Rex hanging upside down, she is holding him by his ankle above a swirling pink vortex.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Ahh! What happened? I thought we were getting along fine!
:'''Breach:'''	Why are you here?
:'''Rex:''' Good question. Where exactly is here? Can we go somewhere else now, somewhere like, on Earth?
:''[She drops him. He screams and lands on the floor between some stacks of books.]''
:'''Rex:''' You sure know how to pick'em. What kind of tripped out dimension is this? ''[Librarian walks by and shushes him.]'' Oh. College.
:'''White Knight:''' ''[On communicator in Rex's right ear.]'' Rex, report. Where on earth have you been?
:'''Rex:'''	Apparently every place but.
:'''White Knight:''' I need to know you can handle this otherwise we're going to try a different approach.
:'''Rex:'''	You need to chill out, White. I’m making progress. ''[Rex puts his hand to his left ear.]'' Dr. Holiday, are you there?
:'''Holiday:'''	Tracking shows you’re with Breach. Are you okay?
:'''Rex:'''	Fine? Creeped out but fine. I can't bring Breach back to Providence, White would just lock her up and that won't help.
:'''Holiday:'''	Where will you take her?
:'''Rex:'''	I'll think of something. Just keep White Knight off my case.
:''[Breach appears behind him.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Why don't you let me pick out where we go next?
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[White Knight hands folded moving nervously.]''
:'''White Knight:''' He says he's making progress.
:'''Black Knight:''' The committee is losing confidence. They want results, not excuses.
:'''White Knight:''' Then that's exactly what they’ll get.
:''[Scene change. Rex sits across from Breach in a booth at a bowling alley.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Soooo, don't like bowling, huh? I figured with the extra arms you'd be a natural.
:'''Breach:'''	I'm not supposed to like you, but I do.
:'''Rex:''' ''[smiles]'' We're teenagers. At least assuming you are. Doing what we are not supposed to is part of the job. French fry?
:''[She takes it and then drops it.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Do you remember anything? From before you... changed?
:'''Breach:'''	I remember everything. And nothing.
:'''Rex:''' Naturally. Why did I even bother to ask. Listen, Breach. I'm not going to pretend I understand you, ''[Puts his hand on her giant hand]'' but I can help. If you let me.
:''[The machine starts to glow, they jump to their feet, other people look startled.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Nothing to worry about. Everything's fine.
:'''Breach:'''	I can't, I can't stop it.
:'''Rex:'''	Let me try. ''[He tries and it knocks him onto the floor sparking.]''
:'''Breach:'''	Van Kleiss has control. They're coming.
:''[Van Kleiss busts through the door with The Pack following. Raises bio-mechanical hand, palm of it glows, device on Breach's chest turns off.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Okay, do your thing. Get us out of here. Anywhere.
:''[she tries]''
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	You can't take what doesn't belong to you.
:'''Rex:'''	I didn't take you for the jealous type. ''[Rex shoots bowling balls at Van Kleiss with his cannon, hits Biowulf and Skalamander in the face and Van Kleiss punches the balls aside with his bio-mechanical hand.]''
:'''Rex:''' Breach, let's go!
:''[Breach rides off with Rex on hoverboard, Van Kleiss and Pack follow on three flying fish EVO's with harnesses and big teeth. They dodge and crash Van Kleiss into a window, and land in a park.]''
:''[Breach and Rex stand together on a footbridge looking down into the water.]''
:'''Breach:''' ''[Walks to bridge and looks at her reflection, Rex follows.]'' Will they hurt me?
:'''Rex:'''	Providence? Not if I can help it.
:'''Breach:'''	They did before. Ms. Smarty Pants—she likes to hurt me.
:'''Rex:''' I'll give you my word, if you come back to Providence, I promise no one will hurt you.
:'''Breach:'''	We can be together forever and ever. ''[She walks off bridge, ducks swimming in water.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Uh... something like that. What am I getting myself into? We gotta move. I bet my brother has already figured out how to turn that thing of yours off.
:''[The ducks fly off, they look and see a reflection in the pond of White Knight's ship.]''
:''[White Knight walks up followed by Providence fighter planes.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Uh guys, what are you doing?!
:'''White Knight:''' If you can't have something done right, do it yourself.
:''[They shoot at Breach, she screams, Rex is horrified.]''
:'''Rex:''' No! No! No! ''[walks up bridge to White Knight]'' Do have any idea what you just did?
:''[Breach's chest device turns on, she screams, Providence shoots at her.]''
:'''Rex:''' Is this what you wanted? Congratulations! ''[runs to Breach]'' Breach! Wait!
:'''Breach:''' Liar! ''[Throws red portal at Rex, he dodges, second one hits him, he disappears. Providence keeps shooting, she throw portals, drops three soldiers in water.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Agent Six!
:''[He jumps at her, she portals him away to behind Knight. Rex jumps from the water onto the bridge by Knight.]''
:'''Rex:'''	You had no intention to bring her in, did you?
:'''White Knight:''' I wanted to believe you, Rex, but this is too important. She can't be controlled.
:'''Rex:''' Control... Her powers are back on. Van Kleiss.
:''[Van Kleiss arrives on flying fish EVO.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Settle down, Breach.
:''[Chest device turns off.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Let me do this. I can get through to her. Come on. It couldn't get any worse than you've already made it
:''[Knight and Six look at each other.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Form a perimeter around Breach. Van Kleiss isn't to touch her.
:''[A rock wall rises from the ground blocking Rex as he runs towards Breach. The Pack jumps down from wall to attack Rex, Six intervenes. Agents surround Breach, she tries and fails to make red portal. Screams. Van Kleiss flies in on fish, knocks down agents with bio-mechanical whip arm, shoots needles from fingers and knocks more down, fish knocks the rest down. White Knight shoots at Van Kleiss.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' If you had any idea what I was trying to do you might even welcome it.
:'''White Knight:''' Enlighten me.
:''[Van Kleiss touches a tree and it turns into an EVO. EVO tree catches and holds White. Six and Biowulf fight, Rex and Skalamander fight.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Enlighten you?
:''[Sticks his claws in White Knight, glowing White Knight screams.]'' All in good time, White Knight, assuming you have some left.
:''[Six throws a magnablade through Van Kleiss's bio-mechanical arm and he lets go of White.]''
:'''Six:'''	''[to White Knight]'' Go. I mean it. ''[White Knight flies off.]''
:'''Six:''' The name's Six.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	We've met.
:'''Six:'''	Don't remember. ''[They fight.]''
:''[Breach on merry-go-round, turning slowly looking at the sky.
:'''Rex:'''	You're just using her.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Of course I am. She knows it. Spare me the chivalry, Rex. Providence would do the same.
:'''Rex:'''	Either way you slice it, she loses!
:'''Breach:''' ''[to herself]'' My two favorites. You both lie. Neither is real.
:'''Rex:''' ''[goes to her]'' Breach, I'm sorry. I meant what I said.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Words mean nothing.
:'''Rex:''' Then let this do the talking. ''[Turns on her machine, puts it into her power.]''
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' You just handed her a loaded gun.
:'''Rex:'''	And now it's her choice how to use it.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Oh if only I had the chance to get through to you, Rex, to teach you how the world really works.
:''[Breach steps in front of Van Kleiss, raises her arms as if to send Rex away. Makes huge yellow portal above them.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Our very first time traveler. You should be honored. Now Breach, if you wouldn't mind.
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:''[Rex closes his eyes. Breach sends Van Kleiss away with yellow portal.]''
:'''Rex:''' That was... unexpected.
:''[Rex tries to turn machine off but fails.]''
:'''Rex:'''	It won't turn off. I'm sorry. I, I didn't know.
:'''Breach:'''	Van Kleiss made it like this so I wouldn't send him away.
:'''Rex:'''	That didn't work out so well did it? Six, get everyone out of here now! ''[A big yellow dome forms around the playground where Rex and Breach stand.]''
:'''Rex:'''	So, what's going to happen?
:''[Rex and Breach are about to be engulfed by Breach's out of control time portal]''
:'''Breach''': ''[she looks up]'' I don't know if any of this was real. But it was nice having a friend for a while. ''[Rex smiles, Breach hugs him as they dispensary in the golden time portal]''
:'''Rex:''' I didn't get blown up. ''[Sees a lizard.]'' Whoa! ''[Jumps away, startled.]'' Oh no, please don't let this be dino time. ''[Touches earpiece in left ear.]'' Rex to Providence, do you copy? :''[Takes earpiece out and looks at it.]'' Oh... Rex to Providence, you better be there.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Uh... we copy, Rex. We have a lock on your coordinates and are sending a jump jet.
:'''Rex:'''	Is Six okay? Breach went supernova.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Someone's on the way, just hold tight. Providence out.
:''[Scene change, Rex lying on the ground.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Took you long enough.
:''[Turns over and sees Providence agents, pointing guns at him.]''
:'''Providence Agent:''' Rex is onboard. Heading back to HQ.
:'''Rex:'''	HQ? Ten minutes ago I was in the middle of an epic battle. You need to take me back!
:'''Providence Agent:''' Um, that battle is over.
:'''Rex:''' What happened? Is Six okay? Guys...what's going on?
:''[They arrive at HQ.]''
:'''Caesar:'''	Baby brother, you're okay! ''[Runs and hugs him.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Breach just sent me to nowheresville. Nothing to freak out over.
:'''Caesar:'''	''[To Providence agent.]'' You didn't tell him?
:'''Providence Agent:''' Our orders were just to bring him back.
:'''Rex:'''	Tell me what? Hey, when did you... have a beard?
:'''Caesar:''' There's no easy way to tell you this, hermano. Breach didn't just send you to the middle of nowhere. You've been gone for six months.
:'''Rex:'''	Six months?! So this is--
:'''Caesar:''' Technically, the future. I should warn you, there've been a few changes.
:'''Rex:'''	You didn't give away my room, did you?
:'''Caesar:''' As a matter of fact, they did.
:'''Rex:''' What?! Caesar, tell me what's going on here.
:'''Caesar:'''	It would be better if I showed you.
:'''Rex:'''	White Knight taking visitors now?
:'''Caesar:'''	I'll wait out here.
:''[Rex sees Providence agents dressed in black.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Nice suits.
:''[Goes into the office.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Ah... Love what you've done with the place. White?
:''[Person in chair turns around, it's a woman, not White Knight.]''
:'''Black Knight:''' Thank you, Rex. ''[She gets up and walks towards him.]'' It was a little bright for my taste. White Knight is no longer associated with this organization.
:'''Rex:''' He quit?
:'''Black Knight:''' He...attempted a hostile takeover and failed. Can I get you anything? Water? A snack?
:'''Rex:''' I don't want a snack! Where's Six? Where's Holiday!?
:'''Black Knight:''' This must upsetting to you. Change is never easy but from I understand, you've been in situations like this before. Everything's going to be fine.
:'''Rex:''' Who are you?!
:'''Black Knight:''' Someone very happy to have you back. Call me Black Knight.

==Season Three (2011-2013)==
===Back in Black===
: '''Rex''': Okay, I get what's going on here.
: '''Black Knight''': I'm relieved to hear that, Rex.
: '''Rex''': You can come out! I know you're there!
: '''Black Knight''': Rex?
: '''Rex''': We're friends, now, remember? Breach?
: '''Black Knight''': Breach isn't here, Rex. The world's changed. As soon you accept th--
: '''Rex''': No, I'm not ignoring you. It's just that you're not real.
: '''Black Knight''': I assure you I'm very real-- as is all of this.
: '''Rex''': ''[chuckling]'' Oh, come on. It's been a fun time in the ol' Breachscape, but, you know, time to go home now.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex''': Seen this before. Usually ends with a black hole.
: '''Black Knight''': Rex, you're disoriented. Let me--
: '''Rex''': Sorry, non-lady. No time. Got an exit to find! Shall we aprehend?
: '''Black Knight''': It won't be necessary.
: '''Caesar''': Rex! Have you lost it?
: '''Rex''': Caesar! We're in a pocket dimension! It could collapse at any second!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Caesar''': That's crazy, Rex. This is not a pocket dimension.
: '''Rex''': You're right! It's a whole alternate universe! And-- and-- and you're my Brother's evil twin! Out of the way! Six! Six! Doc!
: ''[Rex panting]''
: '''Rex''': Dr. Holiday! Doc!
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex''': Wha-- Well, at least some things haven't changed. Whoa! Whoa! Okay, now I-- Bleh-- know I'm in an-- Aah!-- alternate universe. Unh! You can go ahead and -- Blech!-- Eat me now, please.
: '''Black Knight''': Release.
: '''Rex''': You were... saying something about changes?
: '''Black Knight''': There have been a few.
: '''Caesar''': You've got temporal lag, Rex. It's kind of like altitude sickness, only in time. Here-- This will balance your electrolytes.
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex''': So this is really-- 
: '''Black Knight''': Really. Welcome to the future, Rex-- Or, rather, to the present. Without your healing abilities, Providence has embraced a new paradigm. We've moved beyond the outmoded era of &quot;cure, contain, or kill.&quot;
: '''Rex''': And into the era of &quot;serious leash laws&quot;.
: '''Caesar''': We used the petting zoo as our test bed. What do you think?
: '''Rex''': I think it needs a new name, 'cause, you know, now it really is one.
: '''Caesar''': We've developed new techniques for working with EVOs. It's all about understanding them better.
: '''Rex''': So, you're some sort of &quot;EVO whisperer&quot;?
: '''Caesar''': ''[laughs]'' It's a bit more complicated than that. You sure you're okay? ''[sighs]'' It's good to have you back, brother.
: '''Black Knight''': Family ties. They transcend even time itself.
: '''Rex''': Caesar's not my only family.
: '''Black Knight''': I'll bring you up to speed on the others. When you went M.I.A., White Knight lost his biggest weapon in the war for EVO containment.
: '''Rex''': Figures that I have to vanish for him to appreciate me.
: '''Black Knight''': White became erratic-- some might say paranoid. Directorate lost faith in his ability to lead.
: '''Rex''': Directorate? I never knew white even had a boss.
: '''Black Knight''': There are, shall we say, layers. I was named as his replacement.
: '''Rex''': Let me guess-- he didn't take it well.
: '''Black Knight''': You could say that.
: '''Providence Agent''': White Knight! Sir! Stand down!
: '''White Knight''': I'd rather go down in flames than see Providence in the hands of the enemy.
: '''Providence Agent''': He's got a bomb! Fall back! All units fall ba--
: '''Rex''': Whoa! That was--
: '''Black Knight''': Your room.
: '''Rex''': Huh? Aww, man! But... Six... Holiday... where--
: '''Black Knight''': Where do you think? They're out looking for you. Agent Six and Holiday took indefinite leave. They've been off the grid ever since. I've attempted to contact them, but no response.
: '''Rex''': Mind if... I give them a ring? Not that I don't trust you.
: '''Black Knight''': But you don't trust me. Natural, given the circumstances. Be my guest. It won't take long, to locate them. Meanwhile, there are many familiar faces who will be glad to hear you're back. Which reminds me... This is everything we salvaged from your room.
: '''Rex''': Huh. Talk about starting over.
: '''Black Knight''': You could you know. There's still a place for you in the--
: '''Rex''': My room. I thought you said it was trashed.
: '''Black Knight''': Rex, wait.
: '''Rex''': What's the matter, Black? This where you're hiding all your evil secrets?
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex''': Um... Wow!
: '''Black Knight''': This entire wing was destroyed in the blast. I had the space... repurposed.
: '''Rex''': White wouldn't even splurge for private stalls.
: '''Black Knight''': As you see, I treat my finest people to the very finest things.
: '''Rex''': Sure. I'll take one of those, please.
: '''Black Knight''': It's yours-- and anything else you'd like.
: '''Rex''': As long as I do whatever you want-- That it?
: '''Black Knight''': On the contrary-- you're a seasoned agent. I have a few boundaries, but otherwise, handle matters as you see fit.
: '''Rex''': Say I refuse.
: '''Black Knight''': Then I turn you over to mel. ''[chuckling]'' I'm kidding. You're free to leave whenever you like. But I hope you'll stay. Now, more than ever, Providence needs a Rex. So, how do you feel? Like I haven't used one of those in Six months-- Which I haven't. You mind? Bobo?
: '''Bobo''': Rex! Heard you were back. So great to see you, buddy. Whoa. Just a sec, there, pal. Gotta love those certain towelettes.
: ''[Bobo whistling]''
: '''Bobo''': What? Never seen a monkey wash his hands before?
: '''Rex''': Not this one.
: ''[Bobo munching]''
: '''Rex''': You wanna tell me what's gotten into you or what?
: '''Bobo''': What are you talking abou-- Unh! Hey!
: '''Rex''': Sorry. For a minute, I thought you were...
: '''Bobo''': Robo Bobo? Wanna check for a tv in my butt?
: '''Rex''': Pass. But come on. You've, I don't know, mellowed or something.
: '''Bobo''': Guess I just don't have a big need to act out these days, what with you and everyone gone. Plus, the employee benefits are pretty sweet.
: '''Black Knight''': Rex, we've got a little EVO problem. Providence could use your help. Ready to get back in the game?
: '''Rex''': If it involves getting out of here, that would be a &quot;yes.&quot; You coming?
: '''Bobo''': I'll join ya on the next one. I got Tai Chi at 2:00.
: '''Rex''': Missing an EVO smackdown? That doesn't sound like you.
: '''Bobo''': Did I mention the instructor has a thing for back hair?
: '''Rex:''' Ew. Okay. That sounds like you. What is it and where do I find it?
: '''Providence Agent''': We've got an EVO in the subway tunnels, people trapped in one of the trains. The power's out down there, too.
: '''Rex:''' Sounds like a street worm. Sure it's just one? Rex to H.Q. Okay, new chief, how do you want to do this?
: '''Black Knight:''' You're the expert.
: '''Rex:''' I am? Uh, I mean, of course I am. It's just that Six usually--
: '''Black Knight:''' You don't need help, Rex. Handle it as you see fit. Black, out.
: '''Rex:''' What's this strange feeling that's come upon me? Could it be...
: ''[Rex shudders]''
: '''Rex''': Responsibility?! Okay. Assemble your guys over there. Be ready for me. Should the guys grab flashlight. Or... better. Not a bad pre-show. Now for the main event.
: '''Providence Agent:''' How did you know?
: '''Rex:''' These things usually travel in pairs. I used lights from my builds to make it think I was another worm. Have your bug net handy. They're so cute after I shut them down.
: '''Rex:''' Sorry B.K. No can cure.
: '''Black Knight:''' Understood. Our team will take it from here.
: '''Rex:''' Um, take what where?
: '''Providence Agent:''' Move into the vehicle! Move... into... the vehicle! Hit her again!
: '''Rex:''' Um, what just happend?
: '''Black Knight:''' That's all for now, Rex. Nicely done.
: '''Rex:''' Hm. Wait. What are you gonna do with it?
: '''Providence Agent:''' Standard rehab and re-lo. It's all very humane.
: '''Rex:''' I'd love to see that. Mind if I tag along?
: '''Black Knight:''' Sorry, Rex. Authorized personnel only. You've done your job. Now let the team theirs.
: '''Rex:''' But--
: '''Black Knight:''' Boundaries, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' Boundaries. Got it. Rex, out.
: '''Caesar:''' Main container reached. Attach stabilizer ring.
: '''Rex:''' Humane? Yeah, right.
: ''[Bobo yawns]''
: '''Bobo:''' See? Great employee benefits.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. Right. Hey, you got a tag sticking out in the back. Mind if I--
: '''Bobo:''' Thanks, pal. Well, off to yoga.
: '''Caesar:''' You really shouldn't be here, hermano.
: '''Rex:''' The petting zoo? The worm? My monkey practicing good hygiene? You're using that thing to control my friend!
: '''Caesar:''' He's still the same Bobo you know and love. He just need a few boundaries.
: '''Rex:''' He's not the same, and neither are you! You should hear yourself!
: '''Caesar:''' Making the world safer isn't possible without some form of control. And you'd better get some control of yourself, mijo.
: '''Rex:''' Or what? You'll use that thing on me?
: '''Caesar:''' Open your eyes to all the good we're accomplishing. Isn't this better than smacking them with your giant fists?
: '''Rex:''' That's combat! I protect people and property! Okay, property, not so much, but this? If you can't see the difference, then maybe I never knew you at all!
: '''Caesar:''' It doesn't matter. I have work to do.
: '''Rex:''' So do I!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Uses his Smack Hands to smash everything around him]''
: '''Caesar:''' Rex! Stop!
: '''Black Knight:''' Snooping around, Rex? See, that's another one of my boundaries.
: '''Rex:''' White Knight may have had his issues, but he never resorted to anything like this!
: '''Black Knight:''' I never planned to do this, Rex, but you've become a danger.
: '''Rex''' ''[shocked]'': Caesar! Think! You can't do this!
: '''Caesar:''' Of course I'm thinking. This is the logical conclusion to what we started. 
: '''Rex:''' The logical-- Aaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Raaah! Aah!
: ''[Caesar blasts the mind-control laser, causing Rex to scream and groan in pain]''
: '''Caesar:''' Sorry, Rex. You'll thank me later.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' You... better... believe I will!
: '''Caesar:''' Please don't resist! It's only painful if you struggle!
: '''Black Knight:''' What's taking so long?
: '''Caesar:''' He's fighting it! His nantic energy is spiking off the scale!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Boost power.
: '''Caesar:''' It's not safe to--
: '''Black Knight:''' It's for the best. 
: ''[Caesar increases power, causing Rex's nanites to go haywire as a tear fall down his cheek, heartbroken about his own brother betraying him]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Manages to overpower the mind-control machine, much to the surprise and wonder of Caesar and Black Knight]''
: '''Rex:''' You just drew a line in the sand, bro! ''[runs off]''
: '''Black Knight:''' You'd better have a backup.
: '''Caesar:''' The prototype. Not portable, but more than enough power, even for him.
: '''Black Knight:''' Get it ready.
: '''Rex:''' Unh!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Rex:''' No mood to get slimed right now, mel!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Rex:''' What happened to your EVO control?
: '''Black Knight:''' A demonstration. You know what would happen without our influence.
: '''Rex:''' So, you're hijacking its brain, like you tried to do with mine.
: '''Black Knight:''' That won't be necessary if you'll willingly cooperate.
: '''Rex:''' Translation-- if I do everything you say.
: '''Black Knight:''' You've seen how we can work together. Providence still needs you. There will always be a few EVOs we can't control.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. I'm one of them.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Shall we pursue?
: '''Black Knight:''' Most definitely.
: '''Rex:''' Gangway! Coming through! Huh? No! Huh. Black Pawns. Overdoing the whole theme, don't you think?
: ''[Rex groaning]''
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Yah! I'm getting beat up by the chess club!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Black Knight:''' We... got off on the wrong foot. Stow the hardware and come with us. You have my word you won't be harmed. We can start over-- the right way.
: '''Bobo:''' You mind? You're interrupting the enjoyment of my employee benefits.
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: ''[Rex panting]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Black Knight:''' ''[after Rex was tranquilized]'' Excellent work. Take him to the lab.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex:''' What? No way! You're not turning my brain to mashed potatoes! Doc?!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Welcome back, Rex.
: '''Six:''' Good to see you, kid.
: '''Rex:''' Before I blame this on a Burrito-induced nightmare, will someone please tell me-- What... Is... Going... On?!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' What do you think? We've been looking for you.
: '''Six:''' We knew Providence might find you first. Fortunately, we planted a mole.
: '''Bobo:''' Ehh. Rex! Put 'er there!
: '''Rex:''' Uhh! You didn't wash! Oh! You didn't wash! But that means... that he really was... Robo Bobo?
: '''Bobo:''' In the flesh.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Literally. I gave it a biological upgrade, complete with his own nanites and... fleas, ticks, lice, chigger mites.
: '''Bobo:''' What can I say? I'm an ecosystem.
: '''Six:''' It's enough to fool your brother's equipment. The robot is only providing limited intel. But one thing is sure-- new Providence is about more than just getting Evos off the streets.
: '''Rex:''' I saw it. Whatever they're doing over there is seriously messed up.
: '''Six:''' That's why we've set up our own operation.
: '''Rex:''' Whoa! Where did you get all of this?
: '''Six:''' We have our sources.
: '''Rex:''' So, we're like super secret spies now? Cool!
:''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex:''' It's too bad about White, though. I never thought I'd say it, but I'm gonna miss that pasty guy.
: '''White Knight:''' How touching, Rex. I, on the other hand, would rather enjoyed the last six Rex-free months. Now... if we're done with the love-in, we have work to do.
: '''Rex:''' It really can't get any better than this. Oh, except one thing-- can I get a TV?

===Crash and Burn===
*From this episode, Rex can create two builds at once
:''[Bobo yawns]''
:'''Bobo:''' They say nothin' good happens after midnight. And, you know, they're right.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I'm worried about you, Bobo. Since we left Providence, you've been staying out every night.
:''[Bobo grunts]''
:''[Bobo munching]''
:''[Bobo gulps]''
:'''Bobo:''' That's not the least of your worries. Seen our boy lately?
:''[Dr. Holiday scoffs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex is fine. He just needs time to adjust to our new setting. Rex? It's Holiday. Are you there?
:'''Rex:''' Hey, doc. What up?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Just checking in. Everything okay?
:'''Rex:''' Better than okay. I'm about to set a new land-speed record'
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That wasn't what I meant. How are you feeling?
:'''Rex:''' Appreciate the concern, but the only thing on my mind right now is the need for speed. Apparently, I'm not alone. I'll call you back. Hey! Slow down! I want to talk to you! Ah. You want to play chicken. Doc? Bobo? I'm getting blitzed by some bikers. Aah!
:'''Rand:''' Might as well give up! I won't quit! I'm a relentless, never-say-die, nonstop-- Uh, hey, wait a minute. Who are you?
:'''Rex:''' Think you could have asked me that before trying to run me down?
:'''Rand:''' Ooh! My fault. I thought you were one of us.
:'''Rex:''' &quot;One of us&quot;? What is this?
:'''Rand:''' Sorry, dude. No time to chat. Peace.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, like I'm gonna take that for an answer. A street race? Or a demolition derby?
:''[Lance grunts]''
:''[Lance groans]''
:'''Lance:''' Gonna need a bike.
:'''Rex:''' Can't believe you survive that! You must be the luckiest guy on the-- These are nanites.
:''[Lance groans]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Oh, come on!
:'''Six:''' Something wrong?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Prototypes. I prefer tried-and-tested. And I don't even know what we're going to do with half of this stuff.
:'''Bobo:''' You're goin' soft, gettin' worked over by a bunch of goofballs on motorcycles.
:'''Rex:''' They had weapons.
:'''Bobo:''' Last time I checked, so did you.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, but not while I'm on my bike. I'm strictly one at a time.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The nanites that have infected his body are slowly poisoning him. I've never seen anything like it.
:'''Rex:''' Do what you can, Doc? I'm gonna go out and look for those racers.
:'''Bobo:''' Sounds dangerous.
:'''Rex:''' Sure, Bobo. You can come, too. The nanites we found on the biker gave off a different energy signature. Gonna use one of Holiday's new toys to try to scan for it. A bunch of them. And they're moving fast.
:'''Bobo:''' Then step on it! Maybe Holiday has a point about prototypes!
:'''Rex:''' Or maybe they're not on the streets. I'll watch the road. You watch the screen.
:'''Bobo:''' Gotta warn you-- Chimps make bad navigators!
:'''Rex:''' Just do it!
:'''Bobo:''' Hmm? Left! You're goin' left! Make a right! Another right!
:'''Rex:''' Which way?
:'''Bobo:''' I don't know! That way-ish! Wah! Like I said-- Monkeys make great navigators! This is your biker gang?
:'''Rex:''' They had weapons before I'm telling you-- They're tough!
:'''Bobo:''' If you say so.
:''[Bobo grunts]''
:'''Bobo:''' Wall.
:''[Bobo and Rex grunts]''
:'''Moss:''' That's some fancy ridin'. You following us, kid?
:'''Rex:''' Still think they don't look tough?
:'''Bobo:''' I take it back.
:'''Moss:''' Who are you, kid? 'Cause whoever you are, you're not bad.
:'''Rand:''' You're awesome! Where'd you learn to ride like that? Anybody with that kind of skill should be with us. Yeah!
:'''Moss:''' What's your secret?
:'''Rex:''' No secret. I'm just built that way.
:'''Lunk:''' Is that guy from TV-- The one who fights EVOs.
:'''Bobo:''' Five bucks for pictures, ten bucks for autographs.
:'''Rand:''' A talking monkey! Outrageous! I gotta have one. Is he for sale?
:'''Bobo:''' Brother, you can't afford me.
:'''Rex:''' You guys seem tight-- For guys who try to kill each other.
:'''Rand:''' We're not killers. We're racers. This is a legitimate sport.
:'''Moss:''' It is what it is. Our races aren't for the weak. Name's Moss. You've met Rand.
:'''Rex:''' He tried to blow me up.
:'''Rand:''' I missed. You're welcome. Come on, don't leave me hangin'.
:'''Moss:''' Never met a celebrity who could ride.
:'''Rex:''' I caught you, didn't I?
:'''Moss:''' But are you tough enough try me?
:'''Rex:''' Try me.
:'''Bobo:''' You gotta fight back?
:'''Rex:''' With what?
:'''Bobo:''' Oh, brother. Fine, leave it to Chimpy. Aah! I'll take that. Phbt!
:'''Rex:''' Something else on the map-- Moving fast! And it's big!
:'''Providence Agent:''' Halt! You kids! Pull over! Now!
:'''Moss:''' Cops!
:'''Bobo:''' Worst than cops-- Providence.
:'''Rex:''' The bikes give off a nanite signature. They must have tracked it.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Rex, what are you doing here?
:'''Rex:''' Research. You don't want to get caught up in this! Back off now! Sorry, guys. Have Black Knight sent me the bill.
:'''Rand:''' Ha! No way! You want to beat me, you gotta step your game up. Aah!
:''[Rand groans]''
:'''Rex:''' Rand!
:'''Bobo:''' Don't stop! Kid's wearing armor. He's fine.
:'''Rex:''' No! Something's wrong!
:''[Rand groans]''
:'''Rex:''' What is this thing? Doc? Get over here quick. We've got another one.
:'''Biker gangs:''' WHOO-HOO-HOO!
:''[Biker gangs laughs]''
:'''Biker gangs:''' Yeah!
:'''Moss:''' We thought you'd bailed on us. Where were you?
:'''Rex:''' Watching a doctor try to save Rand's life.
:'''Moss:''' Racers get sick sometimes. It's part of the life.
:'''Rex:''' Those nanite power sources-- you got to stop using them. To feel one with the road, that rush? So some people get sick. When we're on our rides, nothing else matters.
:'''Rex:''' Your rides are killing you! You're gonna be dead-- All of you! And for what? So you can go a little faster?
:'''Moss:''' We need those things to ride. You know what it's like.
:'''Lunk:''' Please. Don't take our bikes away.
:'''Rex:''' Nobody's going to take your bikes. But I need to know where you got those nanites.
:'''Lunk:''' ''[sighs]'' A guy named Valve. He supplies the superchargers.
:'''Moss:''' You're wasting your time. Valve never talks to anybody.
:'''Rex:''' He'll talk to me.
:'''Bobo:''' Been in a lot of bad biker dives, but this is the worst I've ever seen.
:'''Valve:''' Enter, strangers. The biker will see you now. Please, sit. May I offer you some tea?
:'''Rex:''' I'll pass.
:'''Valve:''' Suit yourself. I find a good cup of tea soothing-- for the body and the soul.
:''[Valve slurps]''
:'''Valve:''' You don't have to tell the biker why you're here. The biker can tell. You wish to buy a supercharger.
:''[Valve slurps]''
:'''Rex:''' Your superchargers are killing people. It's gonna stop.
:''[Valve breathes deeply]''
:'''Valve:''' Hmm. That sounds like a challenge.
:'''Rex:''' Maybe it is. I'll race you for them. If I win, you hand over your entire stockpile.
:'''Valve:''' Shh! Your answer is on the wind.
:'''Rex:''' You're... not right in the head, are you?
:'''Valve:''' When the wind commands, the impossible game must be gamed. The challenge is accepted. We will race for the superchargers. And when the biker wins... It won't matter.
:'''Rex:''' Why is that?
:'''Valve:''' Because you'll be dead. Let the race begin.
:'''Moss:''' This is his own private track. He knows it better than anyone. You can still back out-- Probably.
:'''Rex:''' And let people become poison, like Valve? No. I can take him. Just give me something to hit him with. You guys are walking arsenals. You don't have anything?
:'''Moss:''' You didn't think we'd need 'em today.
:'''Bobo:''' Oh, boy.
:'''Six:''' Message from Holiday. The two sick teens have stabilized, but she's still a ways from finding a cure.
:'''Rex:''' It was the only weapon I could find, okay? Can I borrow the sword?
:'''Six:''' Use your own.
:'''Rex:''' On wheels? It's not gonna happen.
:'''Six:''' What's stopping you?
:'''Rex:''' Well, for one thing, I-- Um, not sure exactly.
:'''Six:''' What have I been teaching you? Focus on what you want and make it happen. No more excuses.
:''[Bobo munching]''
:''[Bobo munching]''
:'''Valve:''' You're lucky. One the very best get a chance at this track.
:'''Rex:''' Then I should fit right in. Rules of the game-- ten laps. Cross the finish line before the biker, and you may have them.
:'''Rex:''' So, is the wind talking to you now?
:'''Valve:''' The wind commands the Biker to destroy you. The Biker is happy to oblige.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Bobo:''' You gonna help him?
:'''Six:''' He's doing fine.
:'''Bobo:''' Are you watchin' the same race I am?
:''[Valve grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' You're in trouble, Rex! No. Keep it together. Keep... it... together. Six said it-- Focus. Focus. Focus!
:''[Valve laughs]''
:'''Valve:''' Oblivion.
:'''Six:''' Like I sad-- He's doing fine.
:'''Rex:''' Double-up! Where have you been all my life?
:''[Valve grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Cute toy. But I like mine better.
:'''Valve:''' Aah!
:'''Rex:''' Was there any doubt?
:'''Bobo:''' Yeah, plenty.
:''[Valve panting]''
:'''Rex:''' We had the deal. Remember?
:'''Valve:''' Like the storm that changes directions on a whim, the biker is changing the deal. 'Cause the biker-- ''[grunts]'' Doesn't like! ''[grunts]'' The biker-- ''[grunts]'' never loses! ''[grunts]'' Unh!
:'''Rex:''' First time for everything. Thank you, Six.
:'''Six:''' It was all you, kid.
:'''Moss:''' Rand!
:'''Biker gangs:''' Oh, Rand! Good to see you!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Completely detoxified. In a couple days, they'll be back to full strength. Those could be useful at the new base.
:'''Moss:''' You can't stop us from riding.
:'''Rex:''' What's stopping you? You can still ride. You just won't be poisoned by nanites. Come on. Race you back to the garage.
:''[Rex rides off]''
:'''Moss:''' ''[Chasing after Rex]'' You heard the man. Hit it!
:'''Six:''' You do realize we just turned a group of reckless teenage boys loose on the city.
:'''Bobo:''' All in a day's work.

===Heroes United, Part 1===
:'''Caesar:''' Now where are you? So it ''is'' you. This is most disturbing.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Ben:''' You know the friend you care about!? Well, I have a cousin, a grandfather, a best friend that I care about!! They don't exist here! I may never see them again! I'm totally alone! So go ahead! Do your worst.
: '''Rex:''' Maybe we can help each other.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I'm curious how big brother knows about something from a parallel dimension.
: '''Caesar:''' Because I sent it there. In the early days of the Nanite Project, our goal was simple. Construct microscopic machines to cure diseases, grow new cells, regenerate bones. They was a control issue. Some thought a human-machine link was the answer. Others proposed that the machines control themselves. I was in latter cam. I developed the Alpha to control other nanites. To maximize its effectiveness, I had to program Alpha to think for itself. 
:'''Ben:''' Does a low explanation mean something bad on your Earth too?
:'''Rex:''' Yep.
:'''Caesar:''' Alpha developed its own consciousness. It evolved into a unique life-form. It wanted a body, but whatever it built burned out. So when Alpha attempted possessing living this, Alpha had to be eliminated. So I built a dimensional disruptor.
:'''Ben:''' Looks like a Null Void gun. We got some like those back home, too.

===Heroes United, Part 2===
:'''Alpha:''' The nanites in those creatures. They are different, powerful. Your nanites are weak. I have no use for you. Where is the boy?
:'''Holiday:''' His nanites are off limits!!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' My brother!? Look around! He's not here!
:'''Alpha:''' The father is redundant. Now that I found you.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Alpha:''' I cannot merge! What makes you so special, human? Yes. You shelter an Omega.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''White Knight:''' Don't let it get to Rex! If it drains his nanites-!
:'''Diamondhead:''' Game over. I get it.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex''': My most powerful builds came from the Omega nanite. A lot of people are going to get hurt and I can't stop it. What happens when the best you can do just isn't enough?
:'''Ben''': You get an Upgrade.
:'''Rex:''' Weren't you listening? Alpha has the Omega.
:'''Ben:''' I'm not talking about a nanite.
:(''Transforms into Upgrade'')
:'''Rex''':  Hey, what are you- ''[Upgrade merges with Rex]'' Whoa, okay, that feels weird. ''[Upgrade covers Rex's body like a suit]'' Wow, what supposed to happen now? ''[Upgrade's head appears on Rex's left shoulder]'' Uh...don't do that, you freaking me out!
:'''Upgrade''': Build something!
:'''Rex''': ''[Builds a Smack Arm, which is modified by Upgrade]'' Sweet, so what's the plan?
:'''Upgrade''': You build stuff, I make it better. Fight fight fight, we win!
:'''Rex''':  Works for me! ''[Rex builds a Boogie Pack and blasts off]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Alpha''': Organics who rely on machines for their power, I don't need. The machines themselves, now those I will have.
===Phantom of the Soap Opera===
:'''Rex Salazar:''' In a world he never chose and barely understands... ''[Rex looks over the countryside from a cliff, jumps and lands in a snow scene]'' One incredibly good looking guy fights for us all. His name...you know it baby...Rex. ''[jumps into a lake scene]'' Forget train wrecks... ''[punches]'' And car wrecks... ''[kicks]'' Nothing brings the pain like this Rex. ''[runs into city scene. EVO walks down street, Rex runs up, jumps, grabs EVO's head and tears it off. Holds it over his head in victory gesture.]''
:'''Actor in costume:''' Yeah, yeah, that's hilarious kid.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Ah, anytime you want to stop trying to get me fired get back to the tour.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Sorry. Got caught up in the moment.
:'''Actor in costume:''' Ah, dude?
:''[Rex puts head back on the man in EVO costume.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' And on your left, the sound stage where they make the hit TV show Middle School Talent show.
:''[Teen girls on tour squeal and run towards it.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' That's a closed set. ''[Noah pulls on his hair]'' C'mon, this is my first week as a page, I could lose my job!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I got this. ''[pulls girls back from stage with turbines]'' I just don't get girls, how come they get so... ''[notices something behind Noah, acts all excited]'' Huh hu oh huh... oh El Amor de la Pasion del Amor! Why didn't you tell me EADLPDA was made here?
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Um, probably because I didn't really believe you actually still watch a soap opera.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' It's a telenovela. The actresses are smoking hot. And I don't have cable?...ah c'mon dude don't be a hater. ''[crosses arms]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Whatever. We're not going in there, they get like ten safety violations a week, no one's allowed in accept crew and studio staff.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' You mean like pages? ''[Brushes Noah's shoulder with his hand, smiling. Noah brushes his hand away.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' No way. My boss is a total butt-buster for the rules and she is always watching. ''[makes binocular with his hands]''
:'''Head Page:''' You got that right bub. ''[Rex looks behind him, and jumps away]'' By the way Page, you lose something? ''[has three girls from Noah's tour group tied up in a rope]'' Found these wandering over by Middle School Talent Show. ''[Noah runs over and unties them, rope falls]''
:'''Head Page:''' ''[points to her left eye]'' I got my one good eye on you, Nixon.
:''[On set of telenovela]''
:''[Isabella crying]''
:'''Reymundo:''' Pensabas que yo era tu marido. ¡Pero fue una mentira! Pero la verdad es que soy Reymundo, el hermano diabólico de Reynaldo.
:'''Isabella:''' Yo sé, pero todavía te amo.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[standing by salad bar in cafeteria looking up at TV screen]'' How can anyone say that's not great!
:''[Man in cowboy hat tips his hat to Noah]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Whoa? Celebrities know you?
:''[There are drinks on their trays at this point, then in the next frame there are no drinks on their trays and they go over to get drinks.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' The only one here who knows my name is my boss. I'm just a newb on an internship.
:''[Blond girl puts her hand on Noah's shoulder and reaches across him to get a soda, walks away, looks back and gives him a finger gun.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Yeah right, you just got a finger gun from TV weather lady Summer Sonnenshine.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' It's the page jacket not me, if you put this thing on everyone would think you work here. Still. I gotta admit it's pretty cool.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Y'know, I didn't even know you'd applied for this. But I guess when you jump ahead in time you gotta expect some surprises...OH MY GOSH... ''[drops tray]'' It's Isabella, from El Amor del Pasion del Amor.
:''[Rex throws up his arms, knocks tray into Noah's chest spilling it all over his jacket]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' AHHH!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I know she's even hotter in real life than she is on the...
:'''Noah Nixon:''' ''[looks down at tray and jacket]'' Ohhhhh...
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Okay, okay don't worry...
:'''Head Page:''' ''[yelling at another page behind Rex]'' You call yourself a page!
:'''Rex:''' Okay worry. ''[puts his fingers together]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' This is a huge violation of the dress code, oh I am so fired!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No you're not. Come on, move!
:''[They run to a supply closet.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' I've gotta lead another tour in 45 minutes. We can't get to a dry cleaners and back in 45 minutes.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' This is my bad, but I can fix this. ''[Noah panicking, rocking and hyperventilating]'' We just have to calm down and think. Just calm down. ''[Rex points at Noah]'' Noah, calm down!
:''[Rex grabs a bottle of pickles off the shelf, opens the lid and throw contents of jar at Noah's head. A pickle ends up in Noah's mouth, he spits it out.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Not helping. ''[Noah, calm now and not hyperventilating and rocking, wipes pickle juice out of his eyes.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Okay, listen we passed the wardrobe department on the tour, they've gotta have a washer and dryer right?
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Uh... yeah, I guess?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Alright, good, give me your outfit and stay put, I'll take care of everything else.
:''[Scene change. Sign which says laundry stages commissary.]''
:''[Rex runs towards laundry, passes stage of telenovela. Grins and stops. Looks into open door. Looks down at soiled jacket. Up at stage doorway. Walks away. Runs back and grins bigger. Walks into stage with Noah's jacket on.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh...
:'''Isabella:''' Finally! You are here!
:''[Isabella kisses Rex all over his face.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' This is happening, right? I'm not going to wake up and be making out with my pillow again am I?
:'''Isabella:''' Come with me, they want to cancel us you know. That's why the studio puts us here in this place falling apart with all the accidentes.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Soap operas do not get the respect they deserve.
:'''Isabella:''' You are very wise for your age. We don't even go backstage anymore. Too dangerous.
:''[A silhouette of a rat is seen, it squeaks]''
:'''Beatriz:''' Is that our page?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh...
:''[Rex falls]''
:'''Isabella:''' He's mine, I saw him first!
:''[Rex gets up and Isabella grabs him.]''
:'''Isabella:''' He is mine!!!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hum?
:'''Beatriz:''' Why don't we let him decide?
:'''[Rex is being pulled back and forth]''
:'''Isabella:''' You would like that wouldn't you?
:'''Beatriz:''' Yes I would! Very much.
:'''Isabella:''' Fine.
:''[Girls growl at each other and walk away.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[grinning]'' Did they just cat-fight over me?
:''[The girls come back with lists.]''
:'''Isabella:''' Here is a list of what I need you to do!
:'''Beatriz:''' And here's mine!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' You want me to work on the show?
:'''Beatriz:''' Claro que si, we haven't had a page on set in ages.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' But I'm not ... ''[looks over the girls]'' ...able to think of one reason why I would pass this up.
:''[Screen cuts to Noah looking out the door. He sees the chief page and closes the door quickly, after that, the scene changes back to Rex carrying boxes of water with yogurt on top.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I got your yogurt, but I couldn't find the water you wanted. So I got these.
:'''Isabella:''' You are dead to me! But I will take this one. ''[takes yogurt]''
:''[Rex stares in shock and drops the boxes full of water.]''
:''[Old man walks in a dressing room, and Reynaldo comes out soon later.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Whoa, it's Reynaldo! Uh, coffee? ''[offers him a mug of coffee]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' Gracias.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Leche?
:'''Reynaldo:''' How dare you! I am lactose intolerant.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh, okay, didn't know that. Sugar?
:''[Reynaldo knocks the sugar out of his hand.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' Real men take their coffee strong and hot. Are you suggesting that I am not a real man?
:''[Rex looks around and the phone rings.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Rex, where are you?
:'''Reynaldo:''' No phone! ''[Reynaldo knocks the phone out of his hand.]'' You will talk to me face to face. Mano a mano! ''[grabs Rex's jacket]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey wait what are you... ''[Reynaldo pulls Rex away from table. Stage light falls where Rex was standing]'' ...Oh, thanks!
:''[Everyone runs up to them.]''
:'''Beatriz:''' Not another accidente!
:'''Isabella:''' ''[scared]'' Ay. Dios mio! No!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' It's okay, I'm fine.
:'''Isabella:''' ''[pushes Rex down]'' My jogurt!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I'd hate to be the guy that has to clean that up... ''[whispers to man though they look at him]'' Oh. ''[Reynaldo hands him the mop.]''
:'''Beatriz:''' If I didn't know better, I'd say that someone was trying to kill us.
:'''Reynaldo:''' Someone is. The head of the studio is trying to kill our soap opera. That's why he put us in this accursed stage, with all these accidentes. But we... ''[another stage light falls and hits his head, he falls to the ground]'' Aahh... Por que? Ay.
:''[Rex looks up and sees a mongoose...runs after it...goes backstage. Sees clowns and a sign saying “Mongo”.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Ugh! Clowns.
:''[The mongoose squeaks.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Lemme guess. You're the one who's been causing all the accidents.
:''[Mongo growls, bears teeth]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Okay, let's say we can wrap this up quietly. Last thing I need is someone wondering why the guy in the page jacket can do this. ''[wraps Mongo up in the whip thing, Mongo gets tiny, escapes, growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Guess that explains how you've been able to hide out back here. ''[Mongo pulls lever cannon comes out of floor and fires at Rex. Platform falls Rex dodges. Mongo squeaks]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Can we please do this a little more quietly and with a lot less YOU trying to kill me?
:''[Mongo jumps into the “O” of his name on the sign.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Wait, that's you, isn't it? You just want your job back. I can help you. ''[reaches in and tries to cure him Mongo runs out and traps Rex's hand]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Enough with the booby traps, I'm trying to help you. ''[Mongo sets off another trap]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh-oh. [makes big fist, weight on rope swings and hits Rex, makes noise]
:'''Beatriz:''' What's going on back there?
:'''Isabella:''' Where is that page? I am beginning to wonder ...HOW LONG IS IT GOING TO TAKE FOR HIM TO CLEAN UP MY JOGURT!!!!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[Getting thrown around back stage]'' Ouch. ''[gets beat up by mechanical clowns]''
:''[Mongo cuts stars from ceiling they fall and cut Rex's jacket]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Ok, New plan-- First I smash your face, then I cure you.
:''[Mongo knocks over equipment]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No. ''[grabs equipment, Mongo jumps on his arm, punches him and he falls]'' Oww! Look out!
:''[Actors run from set, Rex falls and smashes set]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uhh, okay here's the deal—all the accidents you've been having they were caused by an EVO backstage. It used to be a mongoose and now it wants it's old job back. ''[last wall of stage set falls behind him]''
:'''Beatriz:''' What are jou talking about?
:'''Isabella:''' We just saw you ruin our set.
:'''Reynaldo:''' You are trying to destroy this soap opera just like the rest of them! It is true what they say, this sound stage must be cursed for us to have such a horrible page such as you, Senior... ''[looks at name badge]'' Noah Nixon.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Whoa, wait. This isn't Noah's fault.
:''[Three actors gasps]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' ''[tears off his own shirt]'' Now you insult us by talking about yourself in the third person! Somehow we must rebuild and finish our shoot! But as soon as we do, Noah Nixon, I will have you fired!
:''[Workers fixing set, Rex's phone rings.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Rex! Finally. How's the jacket?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Umm. Well, the good news is you won't notice the stain anymore. Hey uh, by the way, your page training, did it include anything about the creepy backstage in studio B?
:'''Noah Nixon: What? Why are you--
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No reason. I was just thinking, hypothetically, what would happen if I used your jacket to take a quick peek at the telenovela and ended up chasing some killer EVO mongoose? Hypothetically... Uh...Noah?
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Sorry, just trying to figure out how to tell my parents I have no future.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey I got this. I hit a little snag. Just keep your pants on.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' ''[sitting the maintenance closet in his underwear]'' Heh!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Sorry, look, you don't have anything to worry about all I have to do is catch the EVO before they finish shooting and clear my... your name.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' You know what? I'm not worried. I am completely resigned to the fact that I am losing my job. ''[Noah hangs up on Rex. Rex hears dial tone.]''
:'''Beatriz:''' ''[to Reynaldo]'' You are bleeding!
:'''Reynaldo:''' What I am is an actor! We must shoot this scene. We cannot let them cancel us! ''[moans and falls on his face crushing a chair]''
:'''Beatriz:''' You cannot go on.
:'''Isabella:''' If only there were someone else here who knows our show, is fluent in Spanish, and will do a scene in which he kisses me.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I'll do it!!!
:'''Reynaldo:''' You? The one who ruined our set and lied about the EVO? I'd rather die! But then, my life will surely end if the show is canceled, so maybe... But no! It's impossible. But yet, what is more impossible than a dream. Nothing means more than my dream of saving this telenovela!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' So, is that a--
:'''Reynaldo:''' Si. You will be our savior. And then I will have you fired. Accion!
:''[Rex is dressed as Reynaldo. Takes Isabella in his arms and looks deep into her eyes, smiles..then turns away, sees Mongo and gasps. Isabella pulls his face back to her and puckers for a kiss. Mongo squeaks and runs out the door and Rex turns his eyes towards it.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[thinking]'' Okay no kiss, but you're gonna save Noah's job! ''[groans]'' Nope. Doesn't make it any better. ''[Runs out Isabelle runs after him, trips on his wig and falls to the ground gasping, reaching after him]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[makes Rex Ride to chase Mongo down alley. Runs into a set. Falls]'' Where'd you go?
:'''Guy in suit:''' You! Page! Take this script to post, pronto.
:'''Rex Salazar: Hey wait, I'm not--
:'''Guy in suit:''' Oh? You're not going to do it? Are you talking back to me Mr.... Nixon?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No. Mr. Nixon is not definitely not talking back to whoever you are. ''[takes script, leaves]''
:'''Guy in suit:''' Nixon! ''[Points in the other direction of where Rex was going. Rex goes where he's pointing]''
:''[Rex walks by alley hears Mongo munching garbage, sneaks up, tries to cure it. It escapes, Rex corners it in dead end alley]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Oh you're not so tough when you can't hide, are you? ''[Mongo growls and grows huge]'' Oh so you can do that too. ''[Mongo roars, swipes at Rex with claws]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey, watch the jacket. I'm in enough trouble already. ''[Sets down scripts. Big fists. Mongo shrinks to escape. Rex falls to the ground. Mongo gets huge again behind him, tries to stomp on Rex, Rex rolls out of the way, Mongo shrinks and runs away, Rex climbs out of hole in ground breathing heavily and falls to ground.]''
:'''Guy in suit:''' ''[walks up]'' Are you kidding me? You still haven't delivered that script? ''[Rex runs off]''
:'''Guy in suit:''' Nixon! ''[points in other direction, Rex runs that way]''
:''[Mongo jumps off roof grows huge lands on Rex, grabs script.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey, gimme that! ''[grabs Mongo with big fist throws him into a stage building]''
:''[Rex looks in the hole into the stage.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Sorry. ''[runs off after Mongo]''
:''[Mongo throws him higher than the roof tops, Rex lands on big feet, Mongo tackles him. Rex lands in front of the post building, grabs remains of script out of Mongo's mouth. Mongo runs away, Rex gathers script remains and hands it to man at post door.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I think this is for you. ''[runs after Mongo]''
:''[Phone rings]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Did you catch it?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Not yet, but I delivered a script for you, well, most of it.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' I am so dead.
:'''Lady with clipboard:''' ''[grabs Rex by the collar]'' Noah Nixon, you're right on time for your two p.m. tour. ''[Gives Rex clipboard and keys]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[Driving tram with tourists]'' Uh, there's a building where some TV shows are made and there's another one and oh great there's the giant killer EVO.
:''[Mongo chasing tram, Rex steps on gas. Tram goes sloooow. Mongo attacks tram. Rex lands, catches tourists with big hands, flies off on hoverboard]''
:'''Tourist:''' They had better special effects at my kids' school play.
:''[Back on soap opera stage]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' I need a bigger reaction from you. Bigger!
:''[Rex crashes through ceiling with Mongo hanging on the bottom of his hoverboard, heading towards Isabella.]''
:''[Isabella screams and covers head, Mongo crashes into set]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' Yes! That's it exactly!
:''[Mongo growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Be careful or you're gonna get the hand. ''[big fists with right hand. Mongo jumps at him, Rex grins and raises his left hand and cures Mongo. Mongo lays on ground cute and unconscious.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' That's not the hand I meant.
:''[Actors, stunned, applaud]''
:''[Rex picks up Mongo.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' You are a good page, Noah Nixon.
:''[Mongo wakes up runs around on Rex and perches on his shoulder cutely.]''
:''[At supply closet with Noah, Rex walks in holding torn up jacket]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Oh, my jacket! ''[Cuddles jacket, then holds it up and glares at Rex through the hole in it. Rex grins guiltily.]''
:''[Head Page walks in, Noah hides jacket, then realizes he is in underwear and tries to hide himself behind jacket.]''
:'''Head Page:''' I got a dozen calls from all over the lot about you, Nixon. I don't know what you were thinking. ''[He sits down, sweat runs down his face, he closes his eyes, frowns, runs head away. Head page grabs him and hugs him.]''
:'''Head Page:''' I'm proud of you, kiddo! It took me sixty seven years to make chief page. I bet you'll get the job in half that time. ''[Noah stands up holding jacket in front of him. Rex and Noah look puzzled Head Page walks to door, turns back]''
:'''Head Page:''' Oh and them soap opera fellas, eh, they got a special reward for you. ''[they look at each other with puzzled frowns]''
:''[Telenovela stage, Noah dressed as Reynaldo. Isabella kisses him.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' And cut! You look differante than you did before, Noah Nixon. ''[Noah looks up at his blond eyebrows and takes off the wig and mustache. Smiles at Reynaldo. Reynaldo looks at him thoughtfully.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' I can see you've been to makeup. Good you finally look like a real man! ''[Noah smiles.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' [peeking in from backstage, makes a jealous face as Noah is laughing together with the actors.] It's OK, it's OK. You're a good friend, you're a good friend.
:'''Guy in suit:''' You! Quit talking to yourself and get me some coffee! ''[Rex runs off]'' Nixon!
:''[Mongo looking down from rafters]''

===Riddle of the Sphinx===
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' They uncovered the tunnel during routine sewer work. No one has set foot in here in over 3.500 years.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Providence doesn't work the location yet?
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' ''[laughs]'' The antiquities comission does not like this Black Knight. They keep her busy with much paperwork.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The maze looks like it extends for miles. They do that to keep looters out?
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' Or to keep something in.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Anything that was trapped in here couldn't be alive after all this time.
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' I-I-I must go.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''': Watch out! Bobby traps.
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' That's not what I'm afraid of.
:'''Bobo:''' It's only been a few days since we heard from Holiday.
:'''Six:''' Something's wrong.
:'''Bobo:''' Maybe she wanted a vacation from you clowns. &quot;Something's wrong.&quot;
:''[Bobo grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Providence! She in is trouble.
:'''Six:''' Black Knight. And she has your better half.
:'''Bobo:''' I'm predictin' an awkward situation.
:'''Black Knight:''' Hello, Rex. If you came for your friend, I'll have to disappoint you.
:'''Rex:''' That hairy creep? You can keep the traitor. Hey! My faithful guide, why don't you go away while we discuss business?
:'''Bobo:''' It's me, you dopey tin can! Beat it! Or the boss lady's gonna get wise to our little switcheroo.
:'''Rex:''' What's the campout for?
:'''Black Knight:''' Routine scientific research.
:'''Rex:''' Look, I know Holiday was here. What'd you do with her?
:'''Black Knight:''' We arrived an hour ago. The locals say Holiday unleashed a monster down in the tunnels. The situation's under control. As soon as we've secured the tunnels, I'll send a team in to see if she's still alive.
:'''Rex:''' I'm going with you.
:'''Black Knight:''' You're going nowhere. You quit Providence. Unless you're recosindering?
:'''Rex:''' Come on, guide. Holiday's in those tunnels. But Black Knight has a whole battalion of Providence goons guarding the entrance.
:'''Six:''' I figured she'd be no help. That's why I found someone who knows a back way in.
:'''Egyptian Cooker:''' The Kushari is healthy. For the stomach, good.
:'''Rex:''' Enough about the Kushari! Where's the back entrance?
:'''Egyptian Cooker:''' For so young, you in such a hurry. And old cook like me, I live by selling Kushari. Why not buy some? You buy, I give you more information.
:'''Bobo:''' Ah, come on. Stop bein' so stingy. Buy some more.
:'''Six:''' Where's the back entrance?
:'''Egyptian Cooker:''' The sewer man-- They came to fix a leak. They found the tunnel to the entrance in my basement.
:'''Bobo:''' Mmm!
:'''Rex:''' Way cool! Maybe we'll see some mummies!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Tell us where Holiday is!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Where do you think I am?
:'''Six:''' Holiday!
:'''Bobo:''' So, what's with the halloween get up, doc?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I found it in one of the chambers. Scares off the curious. I need to get to the bottom of all this before Black Knight.
:'''Rex:''' The bottom of what? This is all ancient history?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You can this ancient history?
:'''Rex:''' That looks like a nanite!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That's because it is a nanite.
:'''Six:''' How could they have knowledge back then?
:'''Rex:''' Aliens! Like the ones that built the pyramids.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' None of this is more advanced that the 21st century. It's not aliens. I think the answers lie behind this door. But I can't figure out how to open it.
:'''Rex:''' Open the door? No problem, Doc!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Stop! This whole place is booby-trapped. We open this wrong, they'll bring the tunnels down on us.
:'''Rex:''' If there's a wrong way to open it, then that means there's a right way, too. Maybe the nanite picture is a clue. The whole thing is rigged like one. Told you-- No prob. Whoa, mumies.
:'''Bobo:''' What are you lookin' at, beautiful?
:'''Rex:''' Ha! Awesome! I'd love to see the look on Knight's face when she finds out we've beat her here.
:'''Black Knight:''' Then let me step a little closer so you can see.
:'''Six:''' How'd you find us?
:'''Black Knight:''' Your mole helped me.
:'''Bobo:''' Sorry, pal.
:'''Black Knight:''' I should have known better. It's old junk from the dead.
:''[Black Knight gasps]''
:'''Guranset:''' Gharun Set is not dead.
:'''Rex:''' Put her down!
:'''Black Knight:''' This isn't the time for violence. Our host has forgotten his manners. I presume he hasn't had guests in a long time.
:'''Guranset:''' Almost an eternity. Gharun Set said has waited for his release. Awaken this cursed prison through the ages.
:'''Black Knight:''' You speak English. That is interesting. Who taught your own language, Gharun Set?
:'''Guranset:''' I was taught by the great father.
:'''Black Knight:''' Father? What did he look me?
:'''Guranset:''' He is dead-- As all of you soon shall be!
:'''Black Knight:''' Now's the time for violence.
:'''Guranset:''' Aah!
:'''Black Knight:''' A nanite disrupter. Something I had your brother's lab whip up. It's quite lethal.
:'''Rex:''' Looks like the lab forgot to tell him that.
:'''Guranset:''' The boy controls the engines of life? It can't be. I laid low the armies of six kingdoms, swordsman. You think your tiny blades can stop me?
:'''Rex:''' Try this one for size!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex!
:'''Rex:''' Huh?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' His staff is a nanite disrupter. Get it away from him.
:'''Rex:''' Easier said than done!
:'''Guranset:''' Haah!
:'''Rex:''' Oh, mummies!
:'''Bobo:''' Yeah, yeah, you got your mummies. I hope you're happy!
:'''Six:''' Rex! We can handle this! He's getting away!
:'''Guranset:''' One last trap to keep me imprisoned, father. Nothing will keep me from my destiny! You serve his plan, child, and don't even know it.
:'''Rex:''' Everybody talk weird in ancient Egypt, or it is just your special thing? Uh... are they supposed to do that?
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Guranset:''' Finally! I am free!
:'''Six:''' These EVO's won't say dead.
:'''Bobo:''' Their breath stinks, too! Ah, boy!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You could thank me for saving your life.
:'''Black Knight:''' Dr. Holiday, our lives are not safe yet.
:'''Guranset:''' I am not alone. Together, we shall reconquer this land, and then.. the world!
:'''Rex:''' Uh, I think the sun's baked him loopy. You can't reanimate that. It's a statue.
:'''Guranset:''' This is not statue, child. It is a tomb. Arise, my mighty steed. Arise, my sphinx!
:'''Rex:''' Providence, this is Rex. You may want to evacuate Cairo.
:'''Guranset:''' This city is a blight upon my kingdom. All shall be as it once was.
:'''Rex:''' I'm warning you, Gharun Set-- I don't want to have to get rough with you. Step off the pussycat.
:'''Guranset:''' You presume to tell a pharaoph what to do. Be gone!
:'''Six:''' Holiday. There's something I want to tell you before it's too late.
:'''Bobo:''' Ugh. Hold still! Oh, no.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' All of them. Like the nanites keeping them alive... self-destructed? I'm sorry. What were you going to say?
:'''Six:''' Holiday... I, uh...
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hold that thought.
:'''Bobo:''' What's it gonna be, the kooky chicks or we go help Rex save the world?
:'''Six:''' Rex probably has this under control. Holiday needs my-- our help.
:'''Bobo:''' Yeah, I can't resist a good catfight either.
:'''Rex:''' Let me handle! This it's too dangerous!
:'''Pilot:''' Black Knight, target sighted. It's riding a 50-foot-tall house cat. Please advise.
:'''Black Knight:''' Do not harm. Contain and capture. We need that specimen.
:''[Black Knight gasps]''
:'''Black Knight:''' Pilot disregard. Last order. Target no longer needed. Destroy. Repeat-- Destroy.
:'''Pilot:''' You're with the lady. Lock and load.
:'''Rex:''' Huh? Whoa! Get out of here! I don't know what he's up to, but it's not good.
:'''Garunset:''' Behold the majesty of my dream. My kingdom! My paradise!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' What is this place?
:'''Black Knight:''' It's the stuff of legends. The fabled hall of records which lay hidden beneath where the sphinx once was.
:'''Bobo:''' &quot;Was&quot;?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' This can't be! That's the helix splitter. And that looks like a nano-flux inducer. Caesar built the first prototype of one last year.
:'''Black Knight:''' I can't let you touch any of this. It's too unstable with age. When you blundered in the tomb, you set off a safeguard. Someone thought this room too dangerous for the world to know about.
:'''Bobo:''' Agreed. Let's scram!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' We can't! Don't you know what this means to science? The knowledge in here is invaluable. It cannot be lost-- Again!
:'''Black Knight:''' It won't be! Now that we know where it is, we can dig it out later. We will study it. I promise you that.
:'''Six''': Holiday. Let it go.
:'''Guranset''': As father promised-- I will rule forever.
:'''Rex''': Forever is gonna be shorter than you think.
:'''Guranset''': No! Nooooo!
:'''Rex''': Aw, come on! I didn't hit you that hard!
:''[Guranset gasps]''
:'''Rex''': What's happening to you?
:''[Guranset gasps]''
:'''Guranset''': Aaaaaaaaah!
:''[Guranset grunts]''
:'''Guranset''': Do not touch your pharaoh.
:'''Rex''': You need help. Your nanites are dying of old age-- I think. It's like starting an old car. Uh, o-or a camel. Let me help you. I can fix your nanites, and then maybe--
:'''Guranset''': Lies!
:'''Rex''': You're in a strange time, a strange place. We have science, machines. We can help you. Trust us.
:'''Guranset''': Like you trust the woman you call Black Knight? I see now this is a world of lies. You and I have no place in it. Father told me of you... Rex.
:'''Rex:''' What? How do you know my--
:'''Guranset''': I would have helped the world. Ended the hunger, the wars. But now he will return. Avenge me. ''[Echoing]'' I see now this is a world of lies. You and I have no place in it.
&lt;hr width80/&gt;
:'''Black Knight:''' You wanted something?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The hall of records-- You can't keep it a secret. It must be studied. That hall--
:'''Black Knight:''' What hall?
:'''Rex:''' Why'd you do that?! Holiday said--
:'''Black Knight:''' Some secrets are best left buried under the sands, Rex.
:''[Dr. Holiday grunts]''
:'''Black Knight:''' Gentleman. Dr. Holiday.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six, what'd you want to tell me back in the tomb?
:'''Six:''' It can wait.
:'''Rex:''' Don't wait too long.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' All those priceless artifacts. And we still don't know who created Gharun Set.

===Guy vs. Guy===
:'''Rex:''' This means war.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Double Vision===
: ''[The episode starts as a butterfly flies through plants in a flower shop. Suddenly, Rex is thrown into the shop window, making nearby civilians run away. Rex gets up and looks out of the broken glass, seeing a beastly plant EVO, a few people watching, and Agent Six slashing his swords around to evade the EVO's tentacles.]''
: '''Rex:''' ''[Pants and brushes leaves off his sleeve and puts on goggles.]'' Not bad!
: ''[Uses the Punk Busters to jump out of the shop and generates his Smack Hands to uppercut the EVO, causing it to crash into a nearby building.]'' But I'm better!
: ''[The EVO gets out of the glass windows and roars, attacking Agent Six.]''
: '''Agent Six:'''	''[Cuts off a tentacle and walks towards Rex.]'' Talk is cheap, Rex. Prove it.
: '''Rex:''' ''[Generating the Smack Hands.]'' No problemo.
: ''[The EVO rushes towards Rex, unfortunately, Rex grabs it and slams it onto the ground. A random girl is driving up the road on a moped. However, she is stopped as the EVO blocks the path.]''
: '''Rex:''' ''[Putting his hands up to assure the girl.]'' Nothing to worry about, I've got this handled. ''[Turns to EVO, whom is still on the floor.]'' Okay big guy, say adiós to those nasty nanites.
: '''Rex:''' ''[Rex kneels down to cure the EVO, flowers spout out of the EVO]'' Aw, for me? Does this mean we're dating?
: ''[Suddenly, the flowers shoot out some goo into Rex's face, making him slam onto the floor, a crowd forms around the battle.]''
: '''Rex:''' ''[Yelps while getting up and pulls his goggles off and wipes the goo off his face.]'' Oh, that's better. ''[He gives his goggles to the random female on the moped]'' Hey! Watch these for me. ''[Runs back into battle and generates the Punk Busters and kicks the blacked out EVO over a building.]'' Goal! Hey thanks for holding onto my...huh?...
: ''[Rex turns around to see the girl missing from the crowd. Deforming his Punk Busters, he spots the girl riding away on her moped. She turns to look back at Rex, appearing to have on his goggles.]''
: '''Rex:''' Goggles!
: ''[Rex puts one of his hands up to signal for her to wait, but the EVO returns and wraps its tentacle around Rex's neck. The EVO twists Rex in mid-air in the sky for a minute before slamming him onto the cement. Rex gets up and sees the goggle girl riding away out of sight.]''
: '''Rex:''' Hey! You've got my...ungh...goggles... Aah! Ungh! Did you see that girl?! She stole my goggles!
: '''Agent Six:''' Priorities, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' They are my priority, Six. I can pound EVOs any day. Those goggles are-- Ah, great. Who invited her?
: '''Black Knight:''' Stand down, gentlemen. We've got this covered.
: '''Rex:''' We don't need any help. Whoa! Whoa! Ungh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Obviously. Control collar-- Now. We'll take it from here.
: '''Rex:''' Take it from whe-e-re?! I've already got this under contro-o-o-o-l! Whoa! Ugh! Let me try to cure it.
: '''Black Knight:''' The new Providence protocol is to confine, constrain and control. If curing is an option, it will be considered-- At my discretion.
: '''Rex:''' Control? I can cure it now and end this.
: '''Black Knight:''' The offer still stands. If you want to come back to Providence, you can continue your mission.
: '''Rex:''' I have my mission!
: '''Black Knight:''' Curing every EVO on Earth isn't a mission, Rex. It's an impossibility.
: '''Rex:''' Watch me.
: '''Black Knight:''' Everybody back! Contain those seedlings!
: '''Rex:''' You just made it worse! Now I've got to clean up your mess. Starting with this guy. See? Fearing works!
: '''Black Knight:''' It was your actions that exacerbated this situation. I want full containment and control over those seedlings. Move out-- Now.
: '''Agent Six:''' While you were arguing, Holiday found another sprout. Let's go deal with that before Providence does.
: '''Rex:''' But-- My goggles!
: '''Agent Six:''' Focus, Rex. We've got work to do.
: '''Rex:''' Nice work!
: '''Agent Six:''' Drop in the bucket. Look below.
: '''Rex:''' Wow. And I thought I'd be able to knock off early today.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' On the contrary, Rex. By overlaying current worldwide wind patterns on top of international population centers, we're looking at total global infestation within thirty-eight hours.
: '''Bobo:''' Ooh, that's a lot of roughage.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' I need to get in the field and obtain some live samples. Bobo and I will meet you at the rendezvous point in the mobile command center.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, doc. We're almost there. Hey! It's that girl! Wh-o-o-o-oa!
: '''Agent Six:''' What's gotten into you, Rex?
: '''Rex:''' My goggles-- I can't see without them!
: '''Agent Six:''' Obviously, you can see without them.
: '''Rex:''' Well, yeah, but I really need them a lot of the time. Don't you remember when I first got them?
: '''Agent Six:''' Actually, no.
: '''Rex:''' Oh. Sorry. My bad. It was early on, when I was just learning to control my powers. Whoa!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Aaaah! Aah! Aaaaah! Oof!
: '''Agent Six:''' Horse manure.
: '''Rex:''' This is exactly why I need my goggles! Hey! I thought this thing was just a sprout!
: '''Agent Six:''' It's the nature of plants to grow.
: '''Rex:''' Hm. Very Zen of you, Six. Well, it's the nature of me to kick EVO butt! Whoa! Oof! Yuck! This stuff really stinks!
: '''Agent Six:''' All yours.
: '''Rex:''' Ta-da! And for my next trick... Oh, and look who's late to the party.
: '''Black Knight:''' ''[Entering]'' Alpha team, I want you to lay down suppressive fire and--
: ''[Realizing the EVOs not there]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Belay that. Sit Ops, I was told we had a Class-Three EVO situation here. Where is the EVO?
: '''Rex:''' ''[Rex hands her flowers]'' Sorry. This is all that's left. Six, are we good here? I've got to run.
: '''Agent Six:''' I'd put those in water.
: '''Black Knight:''' Unh!
: '''Rex:''' Slow down! I just want to-- Ungh!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex:''' Huh? What?! No way! Hey! You've got my-- Ugh! Whoa! ...Goggles.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You've got bigger problems than a girl on a scooter, Rex. First a flower shop, then gardening supplies. It's getting hungrier. Gentlemen, I suggest you get to the sewage-treatment plant as quickly as possible.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Why?
: '''Agent Six:''' Fertilizer, Rex, as in if those sprouts chow down on that much raw nourishment, we're in some deep...
: ''[Plant EVO bursts through a nearby wall]''
: '''Rex:''' ...Horse maneure. Hungry? Eat this!
: '''Agent Six:''' Holiday, get to the sewage plant. We'll meet you there after we clean up.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Clean up? I'd rather make a mess! Shoulda brought my chainsaw.
: '''Agent Six:''' Shoot the seedlings!
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Okay, this time I'm going to--
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Hey! Wait! Aw, man! Back off!
: ''[Rex panting]''
: '''Bobo:''' You went a little nuts there, buddy. I like it! But... Goggles?
: '''Rex:''' That EVO interrupted before I could finish the story.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Agent Six:''' Here, kid. Try these on.
: '''Rex:''' Um, so I can look like a total doofus?
: '''Agent Six:''' You have no idea how unique these goggles are, Rex. A reclusive weaponsmith in Zurich crafted this single pair before he turned EVO.
: '''Rex:''' Really? And then what happened to him?
: '''Agent Six:''' I did. He won't be crafting any more goggles.
: '''Rex:''' Cool!
: '''Agent Six:''' These are one-of-a-kind, Rex-- Special, for you.
: '''Bobo:''' What a bunch of chimp chips! Those goggles are-- Whoa!
: '''Rex:''' Wow. That is a lot of rampaging EVO.
: '''Bobo:''' Yeah. Lucky holiday-- She's right in the thick of it.
: '''Rex:''' Lucky?
: '''Bobo:''' She gets to try out all the special modifications I made to that sweet ride.
: ''[Dr. Holiday grunts]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Plant EVO has Holiday trapped inside the Mobile Command Center]'' Okay. Let's see how you like 10,000 volts of--
: ''[Holiday presses a button, and music starts playing]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Bobo's mix tape?! Who puts the stereo next to the weapons system?! One more time-- Big red button. Always go for the big red button. Unless you don't want to drain the batteries to zero.
: ''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Bobo, your improvements could use some improvements. Rex, if you're not too busy, I'd appreciate a little assistance.
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, ain't that your girlfriend?
: '''Agent Six:''' She can take care of herself, right, Rex?
: '''Rex:''' Right-- For now.
: ''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' That's more like it. Ungh! Fine! Let's see how you like this! I don't know what you just did, Rex, but thanks. Rex?
: '''Black Knight:''' I admit our last encounter didn't end well, but I think we need to work together on this one.
: '''Rex:''' You want to work together? We left Providence, remember?
: '''Black Knight:''' Rex--
: '''Rex:''' What happened to &quot;stay out of my way&quot;?
: '''Black Knight:''' Rex!
: '''Rex:''' So now when you need somebody to take out your trash, you can just forget that I quit your crummy organization?
: '''Black Knight:''' Yes, Rex, I can, because I don't let my emotions guide my choices. I only want what's best for Providence-- And the world.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, cool. Just wanted to hear you say it. Aah!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, the EVO is too big to cure without getting to its core.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah, well, I'm not doing much good out here!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' All those vines, the seedlings, everything-- They're just puppets to the plant. Stop those nanites in the core, and you cut the strings.
: '''Rex:''' On it! Huh?!
: '''Agent Six:''' Watch it, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' Whoa! All I want are my goggles. All I've wanted all day are my goggles, and this EVOs been blocking me over and over! Hey, Bobo, you know how to shoot one of these?
: '''Bobo:''' Eh, how hard could it be?
: '''Rex:''' Load me into this thing and point it right at that EVO's sweet spot. And hurry. I got better stuff to do.
: '''Bobo:''' You do know that's 30,000 gallons of raw sewage you're aimin' at?
: '''Rex:''' Don't remind me. Oh... Yuck! Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck!
: '''Agent Six:''' Elegant solution, Rex.
: '''Bobo:''' You don't smell elegant. You stink worse than me. I'm a little jealous.
: '''Black Knight:''' All right, Rex. Get to work.
: '''Rex:''' Work? What do you mean? I just served that vegetable!
: '''Black Knight:''' You cut the strings, but you still have to fix the puppets.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' She's right, Rex.
: '''Black Knight:''' You want to cure the world? Start curing.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex:''' Whoa, man, I'm beat! I don't think I can move another inch if you paid me.
: ''[Goggle girl rides past him]''
: '''Rex:''' Gotta move! See ya! Hey! Stop for a second! Six, I'm really starting to think this girl's got some kind of EVO action going on-- Teleporter, speedster, something.
: '''Goggle girl:''' Hey!
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Six, she's not just a teleporter. She can make doubles of herself-- Multiple abilities! She's an EVO, like me!
: '''Goggle girl:''' It's the skeevy guy who's been chasing me. He was chasing me, too. And me. What do you want?
: '''Rex:''' You took my goggles! I want them back!
: '''Goggle girl:''' Hey, Einstein, did you see our logo? That stands for &quot;Goggle Girl&quot;, as in the delivery service. You haven't ever heard of us?
: '''Rex:''' Um... No.
: '''Goggle girl:''' &quot;Nothing is cuter than a girl on a scooter.&quot; Kind of hard to miss.
: ''[Goggle girl groans]''
: '''Goggle girl:''' It's the worst slogan ever.
: '''Rex:''' But-- But my goggles!
: '''Goggle girl:''' Part of our costume. The boss buys them in bulk, along with these cheesy wigs he makes us wear. It's kind of lame.
: '''Rex:''' In bulk?! Those goggles?! But... They're one-of-a-kind! They're special! They're-- They're... I'll just go now. Nope. Nope. Definitely not.
: '''Agent Six:''' I still don't know why those goggles were so important to you.
: '''Rex:''' You gave to me, Six. It was the first present, the first nice thing that I remember getting since you found me. You said they were special, and that made me feel special.
: '''Six:''' Yes, about those goggles... Apparently, according to Bobo, I may have misled you. There was dozens of them in the Providence service bay.
: '''Rex:''' I knew the story was fake, but you told it because you cared about me. That's what made them special.
: '''Agent Six:''' I see.
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, champ. You got a package.
: '''Goggle girl:''' Sign, please.
: '''Agent Six:''' It's for you. From us. Just open it.
: '''Rex:''' My goggles!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Better. We commissioned an enhanced version.
: '''Rex:''' Cool! Infrared... Microscopic... Nanovision?! Thanks, you guys. You really are one-of-a-kind.
: '''Bobo:''' Those are great, but these are me.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' I just need to hold on to them for a few more hours while I run a full diagnostic.
: '''Rex:''' A few hours?! I just got them! Aw!
: '''Bobo:''' Here-- Because I care.
: '''Goggle girl:''' They actually look kinda cute.
: '''Rex:''' Hey, doc! No rush!
: '''Bobo:''' Ain't love grand?

===Black and White===
: '''Calan:''' Be advised, we've got activity. Major activity. Stop right there, or we'll shoot! Don't make me do it.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, I know what you're thinking, but this is totally not what it looks like.
: '''Calan:''' Calan to command, tell Black Knight-- We have apprehended the intruders. Repeat, we got'em.
: '''Rex:''' No! Get out of my head! Stop it! Stop! Stop with the talking! A dream. Oh, thank you! For a second, I swore that I heard his voice. It was almost like he was in the-- Room. Huh?!
: '''White Knight:''' I was wondering if I was gonna have to send the monkey in with a bucket of water. But I thought, &quot;why should he have all the fun?&quot; Five minutes-- Situation room. Consider this your wake-up call.
: '''Rex:''' Aren't you supposed to be playing dead? You're lucky Black Knight doesn't know you're here.
: '''White Knight:''' Black Knight thinks what I want her to think. With the installation of the new regime, I suspected that there was more going on at providence than just this new control protocol. I decided to test my hypothesis. I needed time to operate freely without prying eyes. So I went off the grid.
: '''Rex:''' And from the smell of it, you haven't changed out of your suit since then.
: ''[Bobo sniffs]''
: '''White Knight:''' I've been busy. I've been tracking their operations. They involve familiar locales and even more familiar machinery.
: '''Rex:''' You still use a camera with film? Do they even make that stuff anymore?
: '''White Knight:''' What they don't make are machines like these. This is the wreckage of Rylander's lab.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Are they doing what I think they're doing?
: '''Rex:''' Do what?
: '''White Knight:''' It appears that this new Providence is restarting the nanite program.
: '''Rex:''' There is no way my brother would help restart something that nearly destroyed the world. There's got to be a good explanation. We should just ask him.
: '''White Knight:''' We can't risk direct contact. We need to infiltrate Providence, download her computer banks, and assess how far along they are before we take any other actions.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Over there.
: '''Rex:''' Just saying there's more here than meets the eye. Whoa!
: '''Six:''' Breaking into Providence? That's a big move, even for you. Black Knight is sure to have enhanced the security systems. We may be able to breach the perimeter defenses, but once inside, we'd be blind targets.
: '''White Knight:''' You'd be right if we were playing on her board.
: '''Six:''' Forgive me for doubting you.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, is someone gonna tell me what these are for? This is so not going to work.
: '''Six:''' Trust the plan.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Okay, so, maybe they worked. But how'd you get them to do it on cue?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' All a matter of timing. Assuming we get past the outer perimeter, securing the data is a completely different story. Providence encrypts all data. We need to disable multiple units before we can download anything off the mainframe. Doing that undetected is ''[sighs]'' insane.
: '''Rex:''' Finally, a voice of reason. I'm calling my brother. Took the lady with three phds to realize what I've been saying all along is right. Hey, that costs money! I'm over my minutes!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' How did you... This is...
: '''Six:''' Doable.
: '''Rex:''' Do what? What is that? A secret passage.
: '''White Knight:''' When they built the tower, I had them install, these-- Upper-management corridors.
: '''Six:''' In the old days, they called passages like these the king's road.
: '''White Knight:''' From here, we face some unknowns. Stick to the plan. Or we could die.
: '''Rex:''' What?! Me?! What about you?! Part of the plan was to do this quietly.
: '''Calan:''' Stop right there, or we'll shoot!
: ''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Here we go. Ok, I know what you're thinking, but this is totally not what it looks like.
: '''White Knight:''' Stand down, Rex.
: ''[Calan laughs]''
: '''Calan:''' Welcome back, sir. We've been waiting for you.
: '''Rex:''' Que, huh?
: '''Calan:''' Sorry for the scare, Rex. We couldn't guarantee the Black Knight wasn't taper our communications. It was best to keep radio silence. In any case-- Say hello to your man on the inside. He've got a bomb! All units, fall back, fall back! Captain Calan, do you copy? Report.
: '''White Knight:''' Ready for a repeate performance?
: '''Calan:''' Ready when you are, sir. Good luck, everyone. They're headed for the... petting zoo.
: '''Holiday:''' Here it is. Just like he said.
: '''White Knight:''' This is the Hive. The central nervous system of the entire complex. An electric field protects the inner chambers. We'll need the circuit bandage.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' I've got an idea, but you'll have to go in partially naked. We've got eyes everywhere.
: '''Six:''' Good. Knight and I will handle the encryption towers. You know what to do with this.
: '''Rex:''' No sweat. I'm on it. Just have to make one quick detour. Bro? You in here? Oh, no. No, no, no!
: '''Caesar:''' Rex, is that you? What brings you here?
: ''[Six groans]''
: '''Six:''' Partially naked. Tower one clear. Proceed to next phase.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Got it. Redirecting the data flow now.
: '''Calan:''' Anyone hear for the monkey?
: '''Rex:''' Huh?!
: '''Bobo:''' Offical pet desk. Keep your distance.
: '''Rex:''' Is that Dr. Rylander?
: '''Caesar:''' It is. Well, almost. After you brought back Van Kleiss, I couldn't help but to wonder if perhaps I might do the same for him. Unfortunately, Van Kleiss was already great in tune the nanites. As you can see, Dr. Rylander-- wasn't.
: '''Rex:''' Ok, whatever. Listen, I'm here on a secret mission.
: '''Caesar:''' Secret? 
: '''Rex:''' White Knight said--
: '''Caesar:''' White Knight is alive?
: '''Rex:''' If you can call him that. Anyway, he says... you might wanna sit down for this part? That Black Knight is restarting the nanite program. Don't you think that's messed up?
: '''Caesar:''' On the contrary. I'm in charge of it.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Commencing download in T-2 minutes. White Knight has infiltrated sector three. You're right. They are monitoring our movements. How did you know?
: '''White Knight:''' It's what I would do. Now start evac protocols.
: '''Black Knight:''' I've torn this facility apart looking for that? When I found it, I still couldn't get to it. Bio-feed security system-- Clever. You have to be nanite-free to open it. I guessed you weren't dead. I knew if I let enough info leak about what we're doing here, you've showed up, eventually. I'll take it.
: '''White Knight:''' You can try.
: '''Black Knight:''' What ever you say. You were the boss.
: '''White Knight:''' That's not a providence toy.
: '''Black Knight:''' A woman is entitled her secrets. Especially when those secrets keep me alive.
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''White Knight:''' Ohh! What I could've done with you if I hired you first.
: '''Black Knight:''' Don't fool yourself, White.
: '''White Knight:''' Ohh, ohh, ohh!
: '''Black Knight:''' You were bandage at best. the Consortium knew that you weren't the leader for the future. Stand down, old man!
: '''White Knight:''' I've got a few secrets of my own, kid. After all, this was my office. Consortium or not, it will be again.
: '''Black Knight:''' Ugh!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Be advised, they're on to us. Making for the rendezvous.
: '''Six:''' I'll take my swords back now. Please.
: '''Rex:''' What are you doing, helping Black Knight? She's obviously the more psycho of the two knights.
: '''Caesar:''' I'm not helping the Black Knight do anything. I'm trying to fix things. The day everything changed. We never imagined what would happen when we released the nanites.
: '''Rex:''' Release them?! You caused the nanite event?!
: '''Caesar:''' It was the only way we were going to save the world.
: '''Rex:''' You unleashed the worst man-made disaster the world has ever seen!! You've ruined countless lives!! How can you say that you saved anything?!
: '''Caesar:''' You weren't there... not in any way that mattered! If we hadn't--
: '''Rex:''' Hold that thought. Here, doggy, doggy.
: '''Six:''' Excessive?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Sweet, actually. Now you're overdoing it.
: '''White Knight:''' ''[panting]'' Are we finished here? ''[screams]'' Careful, Black. Your council wouldn't be too pleased if you destroyed the very thing you're after.
: '''Black Knight:''' If doesn't have to be like this, White! The Consortium may have lost faith in you, but you know my methods are right. Come back. Under my protection, who knows? There may even be a promotion in it for you.
: '''White Knight:''' You would turn on your own masters?
: '''Black Knight:''' For that kind of power, wouldn't you?
: '''White Knight:''' You would turn on your own masters?
: '''Black Knight:''' For that kind of power, wouldn't you?
: '''White Knight:''' I am going to stop the Consortium. If you or Providence gets in my way, this tape goes public.
: '''Black Knight:''' Wait!
: '''Caesar:''' Rex, stop! You're destroying my work!
: '''Rex:''' Your work is done! And so are we! I got it. Time to blow this--
: '''Black Knight:''' Stand down, Rex. Face it, kiddo... today is not your day.
: '''Rex:''' Actually, today's wednesday, and wednesday means fiesta night at the cafeteria. Getting in is going to be cake... very dangerous cake. Any bright ideas on how we're getting out?
: '''Bobo:''' I got one word for you, kid-- Plumbing.
: '''Rex:''' I got it. Time to blow this...
: '''Bobo:''' Taco stand.
: '''White Knight:''' Aah!
: '''Bobo:''' Me and Van Gogh, unappreciated in our time.
: '''Rex:''' All of that-- Was for that?! I got nanites, billions of 'em.
: '''White Knight:''' Not like this one, Rex. This is a Meta Nanite. One of several. Hardwired into its design is a program for the original Dominion Code.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Dominion Code? I thought that was a myth.
: '''White Knight:''' I can assure you, doctor, it is very real. Each one gives its host control over different building blocks of the universe- matter, antimatter, elemental, space, time, reality. With the complete code, you can control them. And through them, you control ''everything''. In sort, it's the God Code.
: '''Rex:''' The Consortium want to be...gods?
: '''White Knight:''' If it wasn't for the original Nanite Event scattering the Metas across the globe, they may have already succeeded. The situation has changed, people. Black Knight has been searching the globe for the other Meta-Nanites. She needs them all to complete the Master Program. As long as we're keeping her secret, she'll hold off. But sooner or later, she'll be coming for this with the full power of Providence and the Consortium at her back. So... if you want to move on, forget what I've told you.
: '''Rex:''' You're not getting rid of us that easily, old man. My parents died for this. Black Knight wants war, war she gets.

===Deadzone===
: '''Holiday:''' &quot;You cannot let him out of your sight, Rex. Don't you see why Black Knight wants him? He's the ultimate insurance against any E.V.O.&quot;
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Not just any. Me.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Black Knight:''' &quot;Since the search for Feakins is going nowhere, we have no choice but to become much more aggressive with Rex.&quot;

===Assault on Abysus===
: '''Diane Farrah:''' Through research and hard work, Providence has turned the curse of the EVO into a blessing. One that will serve mankind. Science and compassion have created a new future for all EVOs. A future filled with happiness and hope.
: '''Black Pawn:''' You? Seen some EVOs pass through here?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
*Rex and Circe finally admit their true feelings for one another. Unfortunately, there was not enough episodes to explore their romance further.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: ''[Somewhere in [[w:Hong Kong|Hong Kong, China]]'']''
: '''Circe:''' Okay. They're gone.
: '''Skywwd:''' For now. Get out of here, Circe. Run!
: '''Circe:''' I'm not leaving you guys.
: '''Skywwd:''' You can pass as human. Go-- Before Providence gets you too.
: '''Black Pawn:''' The girl! She's with them!
: '''Skwwyd:''' Run!
: '''Rex:''' Hmm? What's up?
: '''Circe:''' You're the only person I could turn to.
: '''Rex:''' Circe?
: '''Circe:''' I don't know. That's the hardest part.
: '''Rex:''' You did what you had to do.
: '''Circe:''' I left them there, Rex. Our friends. Providence has to be stopped. Someone needs to do something.
: '''Rex:''' ''[puts his arms around Circe to comfort her]'' We are.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Am I disturbing you two?
: '''Rex:''' No.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' White Knight wants to talk with you.
: '''Rex:''' Ugh. What's he gonna yell at me for this time?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' No, I meant Circe. He wants to talk to her.
: '''Circe:''' Providence has been hunting these down, too?
: '''White Knight:''' You didn't tell her about them, Rex?
: '''Rex:''' I thought the Master Control Nanites were supposed to be top secret.
: '''White Knight:''' She has to know if she's going to lead the mission.
: '''Rex:''' Her? That was supposed to be my mission.
: '''White Knight:''' It's no one's mission. It's about getting the job done.
: '''Circe:''' Why me?
: '''White Knight:''' Intelligence indicates that Providence has targeted a Master Control Nanite in Abysus. In Van Kleiss' old castle, to be more precise. You're the only one with the knowledge to get us in there.
: '''Rex:''' I've been there before. How hard could it be? Circe, you don't have to.
: '''Circe:''' If it helps stop Black Knight in Providence, I'm in.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, Doc. We made it. The new power suit gave me more range, just like you said.
: ''[Circe whistles]''
: '''Circe:''' Thanks, Banak. We're trying to keep a low profile. Don't tell anyone, okay?
: '''Rex:''' Good thing you knew the secret whistle or we might have been rooting around forever.
: ''[Rex chuckles]''
: '''Rex:''' Get it? &quot;Root&quot;? Uh... This can't be easy coming back here. I owe you.
: '''Circe:''' Forget it. We're even. I used you in the past, now you and your friends are using me.
: '''Rex:''' Is there some sort of problem between you and me?
: '''Circe:''' There's nothing between you and me. Just the mission. I don't have good memories of this place. Let's just leave it at that, okay?
: '''Rex:''' Fine. I'm surprised we haven't run into-- Ugh!
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Skalamander:''' Traitor! Stop her!
: '''Circe:''' Aah!
: '''Rex:''' Can you chill?! There's no time for this. Who's leading you now that Van Kleiss is gone? I need to speak to your leader. Figures. Biowolf, we have a problem. And... I need your help.
: '''Biowulf:''' I will listen.
: '''Rex:''' Great, because--
: '''Biowulf:''' Only after you. earn the right-- Through combat.
: ''[Biowulf growls]''
: ''[Rex spits]''
: '''Rex:''' At least Van Kleiss was civilized. Buckle up, dog boy.
: '''Biowulf:''' You may speak. This nanite you want-- It's not here. None of us have seen it up in the castle or the blast source.
: '''Rex:''' I didn't say up. It's down. White Knight thinks it's under the castle. Some other secure lab area.
: '''Biowulf:''' The primary chamber?
: '''Circe:''' It's under the castle? Van Kleiss always said it was forbidden for us to go there.
: '''Rex:''' You think he remembered to tell Black Knight that? Let me take it out of here.
: '''Biowulf:''' No! You're a traitor to your own kind. A lapdog to these humans. I've heard enough!
: '''Rex:''' All of us will fall-- All EVOs-- If she gets it. Black Knight is worse than you know. If I don't get the nanite out of here, Providence will take it.
: '''Biowulf:''' Providence! This is Abysus, the heart of the EVO world. Providence wouldn't dare.
: '''Circe:''' The sentries have spotted something.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. I wonder who.
: '''Providence Soldier:''' Black Knight, the assault forces are in place.
: '''Black Knight:''' The field is yours. We've secured the borders. No chance White Knight and his team will get in the country to interfere.
: '''Biowulf:''' The castle is surrounded.
: '''Rex:''' Standard operating procedure for Providence is to secure the perimeter, then close for attack. Black Knight will have snuck forces around back.
: '''Skalamander:''' How should we counter?
: '''Rex:''' Easy.
: '''Biowulf:''' You take your nanite. I'll decide how to deal with the invaders.
: '''Black Pawn:''' Deploy the collars. Rise. Forward. Attack.
: '''Rex:''' The nanite event blew away half the castle. This must have been deep enough to survive it. Huh? You hear that?
: '''Circe:''' No. Hear what?
: '''Rex:''' Uh... Nothing. This place would make a great rec room. Maybe a karaoke machine over there--
: '''Circe:''' Van Kleiss would send volunteers down here to try and get in. None of them ever came back.
: '''Rex:''' Well... That's encouraging.
: '''Circe:''' What is it?
: '''Rex:''' They're... I-I think they're nanites. They're following our lights. They can't see in the dark. I have a plan. Lead them back.
: '''Circe:''' ''[concerned]'' Rex?
: '''Rex:''' When I say &quot;roll,&quot; roll.
: '''Circe:''' What?!
: '''Rex:''' Roll! Circe, sing!
: ''[Circe uses her ultrasonic blasts on the EVOs and beams at Rex.]''
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Rex:''' We always made a good team.
: '''Circe:''' It won't hold them long.
: '''Rex:''' You think this is why Van Kleiss always wanted me-- So I could get him in here?
: '''Biowulf:''' Providence has breached the castle. We can't hold our position much longer.
: '''Rex:''' Go. I'll get the Master-Control Nanite. ''[Notices how worried Circe is about him probably not returning]'' This isn't Hong Kong. I'll be okay. I'll meet up with you soon.
: '''Biowulf:''' They've turned our own people against us.
: '''Circe:''' Let me see what I can do.
: ''[Circe uses her ultrasonic bursts on several collared EVOs]''.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: ''[Circe gasping]''
: '''Circe:''' So many.
: '''Biowulf:''' You can't stop the ones they've collared.
: '''Circe:''' I can go down trying.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Black Pawn:''' Her sonics are disrupting the offensive.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Black Pawn:''' Hyah! Unh!
: '''Biowulf:''' If we can't defeat them, we'll take down as many as we can fighting.
: '''Circe:''' This isn't one battle. It's a war. And we can't let it end here before Rex has the Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Biowulf:''' What, then?
: '''Circe:''' Tactical retreat.
: ''[Circe whistles]''
: '''Rex:''' Huh. Dad.
: '''Providence Soldier:''' Outer rooms of the castle secured.
: '''Black Pawn:''' I don't need you here, Black Knight. It's only a matter of time. We will take the castle piece by piece.
: ''[Skalamander growling]''
: '''Black Pawn:''' You are ours now. Down.
: ''[Skalamander grunting]''
: '''Skalamander:''' Rex is here. He will make you bow to us!
: '''Black Knight:''' This is all a diversion. Find Rex before he gets the Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Black Pawn:''' Yes, Ma'am.
: '''Black Knight:''' Either you do it or I will. I'm on my way.
: '''Rex:''' This place... Rylander had the same type of lab.
: '''Soldier:''' Security system engaged.
: '''Rex:''' No!
: '''Soldier:''' Intruder. Provide authorized identity or be terminated. Identify. Identify. Identify. Identify.
: '''Rex:''' Aah! I'm Rex! Rex Salazar!
: '''Soldier:''' Salazar genetype-- Accepted.
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex:''' There you are, you little troublemaker. You're coming home with the good guys. Uhh. Weird. Uh... I don't suppose you're looking for the karaoke machine? Running into you-- What a coincidence. Come down here a lot? Whoa! Missed me.
: '''Black Pawn:''' I have the nanite. Keep the boy busy while I get it to Black Knight.
: '''Rex:''' No!
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Rex:''' You two sure know how to make an entrance.
: '''Circe:''' The others are getting hammered by Provindence. They're barely holding them off in the dungeon.
: '''Rex:''' Gee! Van Kleiss has a dungeon. What a surprise.
: '''Biowulf:''' This is no joke. They might die because I came down here to save you.
: '''Rex:''' I won't let them get taken. I promise you that. But I need you to let me call the shots.
: ''[Biowulf sighs]''
: '''Biowulf:''' Very well.
: '''Rex:''' Circe, dungeon left or right?
: '''Circe:''' Left. The dungeon's the other way.
: '''Rex:''' I'm not looking for the dungeon. I'm looking for the scouts. Nothing. Well, maybe a little something.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Rex:''' Scouts. Classic Providence tactics-- So they don't get ambushed. Uhh. What is this place?
: '''Biowulf:''' The old reservoir. It goes to the river.
: '''Rex:''' Perfect. ''[deep voice]'' Scout to command. West wing, reservoir-- We've found a back way onto what must be the main EVO force. It's five times the size of what you're fighting. Roger, scout. All forces, withdraw from dungeon siege.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Providence goons are contained Biowulf. They shouldn't be a problem. And I got the Master-Control Nanite. Looks like mission accomplished.
: '''Circe:''' Rex, I--
: ''[She and Rex cling to each other as the castle begins shaking.]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Rex, order your friends to surrender. You're all under Providence custody. I knew it would be impossible to get the nanite from the heart of the original nanite infestation. So the solution was to remove it.
: '''Circe:''' It's Hong Kong all over again.
: '''Rex:''' No. We'll sneak about back... and then... And then.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' They were counting on me. I don't want to leave them!
: '''Circe:''' I did what I had to do. You do what you have to. But I only want you to know: All of this was never about me just using you.
: ''[Finally admits her true romantic feelings for Rex in the form of a passionate kiss. She then pushes a shocked Rex off the ledge, so he could escape; and her getting collared and captured in his stead. She smiled with tears in her eyes, with the promise that she would be okay.]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' ''[burdened by Circe admitting her intense love for him and sacrifice]'' We all make sacrifices for the things we care about; the people we love. But when the stakes are this high, who can we trust? What would that power do to anyone who had it?

===Remote Control===
: '''Cricket:''' If you think we're going to thank you for getting us out of there, Quarry...
: '''Quarry:''' I think you're going to do exactly as I say.
: (''Activates the mind-control collar on her neck'')
: '''Cricket:''' AH!!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Cricket, it's me! Rex! Used to a crush on me!?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Let them go. They'll lead us straight to Quarry.
: '''Cricket:''' &quot;Used to have a crush&quot;?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Cricket:''' You know how collared E.V.O.s follow kind of like a robot. with these collars, it's worse. It's like you're a remote-controlled robot.
: '''Rex:''' That is a nasty hack.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' Your friends are very valuable to me as are you.
: '''Rex:''' Like the new look- strapping.
: '''Quarry:''' Let's just say I had to find a way to &quot;keep it together&quot; after my visit to Abyuss. Just one more thing you owe me for and you know how much I like a balanced book.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' You'll be the crown jewel of my E.V.O. army, Rex. I may just make you my own personal slave.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' That collar suits you, Rex. Wish I had one for you back in the old days. Would've saved me a lot of trouble.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' The arcade- all those kids.
: '''Quarry:''' those brats were born to play games, which is what they think their doing. And I have your people to thank for the tech. That brother of yours is quite the wiz kid.
: '''Rex:''' Caesar would never...
: '''Cricket:''' Forget about Caesar, Rex! You know what you got to do!
: '''Rex:''' These guys will shred you if I leave!
: '''Tuck:''' We got this, Rex! Go!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' Consider the fact that you made me like this while I'm crushing you.

===A Brief History of Time===
: '''Van Kleiss:''' 4.000 years from my destination, and I've run out of of time. I've scarcely completed the vessel which shall deliver me to my own era. Gharun-Set, activate the traps-- Quickly! My greatest creation-- So useful to me, but too dangerous to roam free. If only I had time to destroy him, as I should. But I have a more pressing death I must prevent. My own. AAAAAAAAAAAH!
: '''Rex:''' Kind of defeating the whole stealth element of a stealth suit, Bobo.
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, now was I supposed to know that ghanoush went bad?
: '''Rex:''' Maybe because you found it in a garbage can.
: '''Bobo:''' On top of a garbage can.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Holiday to Rex. Are you at the site?
: '''Rex:''' There is not site, remember? Black Knight blew the pace to kingdom come.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Yet it's still guarded. And thanks to the data you stole from Providence, we know why.
: '''Rex:''' Van Kleiss back in time? I still find it hard to believe.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You were sent six months into the future, Rex. It stands to reason that the reverse is possible.
: '''Rex:''' Well, if you expect to find him here, maybe we should check the mummy museum. We're sensing nanites-- Definitely V.K.'s. They've been dead a long time.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Over 4,000 years. I'm also detecting tachyons-- Quantum particles that travel in time. I think it's clear what he was making.
: '''Bobo:''' A latrine?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' A time machine.
: '''Rex:''' No way he pulled it off! If mister ego made it back to here and now, we'd know about it.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Some of these nanites are considerably younger. That means he was there in two different time periods.
: '''Rex:''' Time travel gives me a headache. Just tell me-- Where is he now?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' The more accurate question is, when is he?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' AAAAAAH!
: ''[Van Kleiss gasping]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh! The ordeal is... draining. But now, back in my own time, I can replenish my nanite reserves and--
: '''Gladiator #1:''' Quis es tu?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I recognize the language, of course-- Classical latin. Qui-- Q-Qui annus est?
: '''Gladiator #1:''' What year is it? You dare question a captain of the imperial guard? Aegyptus is a roman Providence! Answer! Who are you?
: '''Gladiator #2:''' Don't bother-- He's clearly sun-mad.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' The dialect, the dress-- This is the second century A.D. A mere 2,000 years has passed. I'm only halfway home!
: '''Gladiator #1:''' Another escaped slave. Finish him and be done with it.
: ''[Gladiator #2 grunts]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It was all the fight I could muster. I had no way to replace the nanites I'd spent in the journey, and my gauntlet had yet to recharge those that remained.
: '''Gladiator #2:''' This one shows spirit. He'll bring a good price in the arena.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' OOMPH!
: ''[Van Kleiss groans]''
: '''Gladiator #2:''' Save your strength.
: '''Gladiator #3:''' Where you're going, you'll need it.
: ''[Van Kleiss slurps]''
: ''[Van Kleiss gulps]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I intend to. Of the mysterious force, there is no sign. Yet I sense it is close-- Pursuing me even across the centuries. I am convinced it is a manifestation of time itself. My presence is a violation of physics-- An imbalance which the time stream seeks to correct... By wiping me from existence. But of this, I am certain-- If I do not return to my own time, it will surely destroy me.
: '''Gladiator #1:''' You are fortunate, slave. To die in the arena is a great honor.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' An honor I look forward to bestowing.
: ''[Gladiator #1 laughs]''
: '''Gladiator #1:''' You see? Spirit!
: ''[Van Kleiss groans]''
: '''Gladiator #3:''' Put on a good show, little man, and I promise to make your end a painless one.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Indeed?
: ''[Gladiator #3 grunts]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I, on the other hand, make no such promise.
: ''[Gladiator #3 grunting]''
: ''[Van Kleiss grunting]''
: '''Gladiator #3:''' AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
: ''[Gladiator #3 groans]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' One against so many? Hardly seems fair. For them.
: '''Gladiator #4:''' ARRRGHHHH!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ordinarily, I'd say &quot;take me to your leader,&quot; but I believe he's already here.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Great warrior... Never have I seen such a battle. I am...
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Septimius Severus, 21st emperor of Rome, founder of the severan dynasty. And, as I recall, you poisoned your own commanding officer to get his position... And wear only boots to conceal a prodigious clubfoot.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Are you a man... Or a God?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I find both labels rather limiting. Now, then, you are going to give me whatever I require, starting with a quiet place to work. I, in return, shall ensure the growth and security of your reign as emperor. You may call me Van Kleiss.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Whatever your desire, great Vanklios.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Actually, it's... Got a rather nice ring.
: '''Rex:''' What's with this guy? Gets a portrait done in every time period?
: '''Bobo:''' Mm. ''[muffled]'' Truly a nutjob for the ages. Mm. Speaking of nuts... Want some?
: '''Rex:''' You've been dumpster-diving again?
: '''Bobo:''' I prefer &quot;foraging.&quot;
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. Nice sleuthing there, doc.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Nanites decay at a measurable half-life. I set our sat-net to do a global scan for the same frequency-- Ergo, Rome.
: '''Rex:''' Great. You scan for the next stop, we'll grab a pizza.
: '''Bobo:''' Pass. I'm experiencing inexpicable gastric distress.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, it would take months to scan the entire spectrum. You need to find the next decay frequency.
: '''Rex:''' Kind of like nanite connect-the-dots! Can I do it with someone else?
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, quiet, you! Rah!
: '''Rex:''' This goose chase just got a little wilder. My brother's here.
: '''Caesar:''' Caesar to Black. We've detected paleo-nanites. Tachyon readings negative. We're moving to the next hot stop.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Tachyons-- They want Van Kleiss' time machine. Follow them.
: '''Rex:''' Come on.
: '''Bobo:''' Can you give me a teeny sec? I gotta find the little gladiators' room.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Advances in the last two millenia have allowed me to complete my lab in weeks instead of months. Restrict the flow! Do you want to overload the power cells? Meanwhile, my own nanite supply continues to dwindle.
: ''[Septimius Severus panting]''
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Great Vanklios, protect me!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I've divulged metallurgy and tactics beyond your day. No man may threaten your rule. : '''Septimius Severus:''' This is no man... But an apparition!
: ''[Septimius Severus grunts]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' What apparition? Speak, parasite!
: '''Septimius Severus:''' A spirit of doom! Numerous sightings-- The insulare, the rostra, the forum. Listen! It comes! It comes!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Fool. It only wants me.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Ugh!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I release you. Go start a few legends.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
: ''[Septimius Severus gasps]''
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Be gone! I beg of you! Aah!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, those stress lines-- It's the same pattern we saw in Egypt.
: '''Black Knight:''' Report.
: '''Caesar:''' These aqueducts are truly marvels of roman engineering.
: '''Black Knight:''' Have you picked up the next decay frequency?
: '''Caesar:''' Oh-- That. Yes. Uplinking to our global net. Odd. These tachyons seems unrelated to--
: '''Black Knight:''' We have the next target. Scandinavia. Move out. White Knight may have people on the trail. I expect you to do whatever it takes to procure the objective.
: '''Rex:''' Shh!
: '''Caesar:''' I've initiated the same steps as in Egypt! Come along.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, we need that decay frequency.
: '''Rex:''' Just one small problem, doc. This place... is toast.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex? Bobo? Respond!
: '''Rex:''' We're okay, doc. Not a mark on us.
: '''Bobo:''' Same can't be said for my stealth suit. Whoa!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: ''[Rex and Bobo gasps]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' So many lives... It's become a blur. I don't know who I am anymore. Only that I must sail onward, ever onwoard down the river of time. Never resting, always moving. Further draining my nanite reserves beyond my ability to replenish. And each re-emergence, I am pursued by the nameless force. I now know it's personal. I am a virus-- An infection of space-time. Call it what you like. This is time's antibody. Whether I can borne home or drowned in its currents, this is my final journey.
: '''Rex:''' Hurry! I'm not sure if we here followed.
: '''Bobo:''' I'm sure.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Don't shoot! It's me.
: '''Rex:''' Holiday? Shouldn't you be at the plant, connecting the dots?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' No more dots to connect. The trail ends here. And... I'm reading a humanoid form inside.
: '''Rex:''' I'm confused. Is it a time machine or isn't it?
: '''Caesar:''' It's not a time machine. Are those really necessary?
: '''Rex:''' No way you're getting this time machine, bro!
: '''Caesar:''' I don't want it. And it's not a time machine.
: '''Bobo:''' Well, then, what is it? A meat locker for cold cuts?
: '''Caesar:''' Surprisingly close. We use this technique to transfer unstable nanites. It puts them into a state of dormancy.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Of course. It's a hibernation chamber.
: '''Caesar:''' Only his nanites were dormant. There would still be neuron flow.
: '''Rex:''' Mind telling me what that means, exactly?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' He was... Aware. The whole time, for hundreds of years.
: '''Caesar:''' He would have felt every minute pass.
: '''Rex:''' No way! He's totally a mummy!
: '''Rex and Bobo:''' Wah!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Run! It's coming! It's coming?!
: '''Rex and Bobo:''' Wah!
: '''Rex:''' Easy, easy, Van Kleiss. You're back-- Back in your own time.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' No! No, it'll find me! It always does! You must protect me.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Tachyon readings off the chart! Rex, you can't affect that thing. I don't know what can.
: '''Caesar:''' It's a field of pure tachyons. I've got to get a sample.
: '''Rex:''' Oh, no, you don't!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I'm back! Back in my own time! You shall not have me?! OHHHH!
: '''Bobo:''' Settle down, Van Winkle.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex shudders]''
: '''Rex:''' Oh, no. It couldn't be. I need some way to contain it!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Tachyons can't be contained!
: '''Caesar:''' Yes, they can. Rex!
: ''[Caesar grunts]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, it's too risky!
: '''Rex:''' But I know what this is. Correction-- I know who this is.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex:''' Aah!
: ''[Rex groaning]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' It's... Breach.
: '''Rex:''' Breach. Breach! It's me-- Rex.
: '''Breach:''' Rex? Are you real... Or a dream?
: ''[Rex laughs]''
: '''Rex:''' Yeah, yeah, I'm-- I'm real.
: '''Breach:''' I was everywhere-- Everywhen. But I was nothing-- An emptiness, needing to be filled.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' The amp pack. Van Kleiss controlled it. When his nanites were active, Breach was drawn into his timeframe.
: ''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
: '''Caesar:''' The final joining would have destroyed them both.
: '''Breach:''' Guess I should say thanks.
: '''Rex:''' Hey, what are friends for? Um, we are still friends... Right?
: '''Caesar:''' You did well, little bro.
: '''Rex:''' And you have your time machine that... isn't a time machine. Everybody goes home happy.
: '''Caesar:''' That? A curiosity-- True. But it was never our goal.
: ''[Van Kleiss shivering]''
: ''[Van Kleiss chuckles]''
: '''Rex:''' Van Kleiss?! All this for him? what, they're gonna put him in jail?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' It's Providence, Rex. That's their jurisdiction.
: '''Caesar:''' No need to worry, little brother. He's going to be well supervised.
: '''Rex:''' Caesar, what is going on!?
: '''Caesar:''' Justice.
: '''Bobo:''' Two words-- Crème Brûlée. Ooh. Right after I make a french connection.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Welcome back, Van Kleiss. You look terrible. Ordinarily, I'd say get some rest, but you've had enough of that, I suppose.
: ''[Van Kleiss chuckles]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Pull it together. We have work to do. Do you know who I am?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Yes. I know who you are. It's been a long time. A very, very long time.

===Mind Games===
: '''Rex''': Yeah, I wouldn't be so sure of that.
: '''Six''': I told you not to get involved, Rex. You're not at full strength.
: '''Rex''': What was I supposed to do... Just leave it?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Six has a point, Rex. You're pushed to the edge lately. You can't see everyone.
: '''Rex''': Not listening! Don't worry, dude. I'll have you out of here before you can say... Circe?!
: '''Circe''': Hey, Rex. Rex! Aaaah!
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Rex! Rex, do you read? What's going on? Your bios are low.
: '''Rex''': Leave her alone! You okay? 
: '''Circe''': I think so. We have to go.
: '''Rex''': Think that's your cue. Hang on. I think I got it. Ow! Hate this things.
: '''Circe''': Try wearing one.
: '''Rex''': I have. So, what happened? I thought providence had you at abysus.
: '''Circe''': I got away.
: '''Rex''': What about the pack?
: '''Circe''': The pack? I... don't know. Things are bad out there, Rex. I've been on the run for weeks. providence has been stepping up their capture orders. I think something big is going down.
: '''Rex''': Tell me about it. Listen, I know we're gonna want to say no, but with everything that's going on...
: '''Circe''': I should stay at the plant. It's safer, right?
: '''Rex''': Wow, that was... easy. I had a whole speech and everything.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Well, everything checks out. You're the picture of health. I wish you'd let me do some more thorough scans, through.
: '''Six''': How was it you said you got away?
: '''Circe''': It's a long story. You guys have bigger things to worry about than me... like the meta-nanites. Did you get the one from abysus? Have you found anymore?
: '''Rex''': Ugh, who cares? Let's go do something fun. You want to put Bobo' hand in shaving cream?
: '''Circe''': ''[Yawns]'' Actually, Rex, I'm kind of tired. I thing I might just crash if that's cool.
: '''Rex''': Oh... yeah. Stupid of me. You, uh, get some sleep. Hey, Doc. What are you doing?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Rex. I was just... working. What are you doing up?
: '''Rex''': Ah, it's... stupid.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Yeah, probably. But... go ahead.
: '''Rex''': I'm... excited. Since I got breached, everything's been so crazy.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Since you got breached? Right.
: '''Rex''': But with Circe back, I'm starting to think maybe things will turn out okay.
: '''White Knight''': I need everyone in the situation room in five minutes.
: '''Rex''': So much for that.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': ''[Yawns]'' What'd I miss?
: '''Rex''': Wow, Doc. You sure got comfy quick.
: '''White Knight''': Listen up, people. We need to retrieve a valuable asset before it falls into enemy hands.
: '''Six''': What's the objective?
: '''White Knight''': This man... Dr. Peter Meechum.
: '''Rex''': That guy? I remember him. Van crazy kiddnaped his daughter.
: '''White Knight''': Meechum spent the last year at a safehouse facility... Codename: Pandora's Box... location know only to me.
: '''Rex''': Why all the cloak and dagger?
: '''White Knight''': Because Meechum was one of the original scientists on the nanite project. He was given a panic button in case of emergency. 30 minutes ago... he activated it.
: '''Six''': providence?
: '''White Knight''': We have to assume they're trying to assemble the original members of the nanite project. What Meechum knows is too valuable to fall into the wrong hands, so go get him.
: '''Six''': Maybe Circe should stay here.
: '''Rex''': What? Why?
: '''Six''': She's not on the team yet... not officialy.
: '''White Knight''': Take her. She'll be useful in the field.
: '''Rex''': Ahem. You guys forget you key? Did you check under the mat?
: '''Six''': Rex, focus on the mission. Get to Meechum!
: '''Rex''': Relax, Six. I could take these guys in my sleep, especially with help from... Huh? Circe? Uh... Time-out?
: '''Six''': Peter Meechum, you need to come with us.
: '''Dl. Meechum''': ''[Scoffs]'' Took you long enough.
: '''Rex''': Time in.
: '''White Knight''': Still no sign of Circe, Rex. We'll keep looking, but for right now, Meechum is our top priority.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': We'll find her, Rex. Don't worry.
: '''White Knight''': In the meantime, Dr. Meechum, I've checked, and your daughter is safe at her boarding school in England.
: '''Dl. Meechum''': My daughter. Right.
: '''White Knight''': We can make immediate arrangements to take you to her.
: '''Dl. Meechum''': No, I'd rather stay with you if that's all right. It's, uh... It's safer.
: '''White Knight''': Of course. White Knight out.
: '''Rex''': So, after that, providence attacked abysus to get the master control nanite. Guess you were next on their list.
: '''Dl. Meechum''': I see. And all this happened in the last year?
: '''Six''': You've missed a lot since you've been away, doctor.
: '''Dl. Meechum''': Horrible. I could never work for a providence like that. I have to say it's all very impressive. providence has certainly done a lot in the last year.
: '''Caesar''': And with your help, doctor, we can do more.
: '''Dl. Meechum''': Where's White Knight? I should tell him I've arrived.
: '''Black Knight''': I can answer that for you. It's good to have you back, doctor.
: '''Dl. Meechum''': What happened to White?
: '''Black Knight''': Just a routine change in command. Nothing to worry about. If you'll excuse me, gentlemen.
: '''Dl. Meechum''': Tell me you have my money ready.
: '''Black Knight''': You get away you want when I get what I want... Not before.
: '''Dl. Meechum''': Relax.
: '''Six''': I'm a professional, aren't I?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Six, see Meechum? I have some data I'd like to go over with him. Are you... okay?
: '''Six''': Rebecca, I have something important to tell you.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Okay. Well... Thanks for tell me.
: '''Six''': Rex, are you in here? I do not understand this show.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Am I interrupting?
: '''Six''': Not at all. What can I do for you?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Nothing important. I just wanted to say... earlier... that was nice. Unexpected but nice. 
: '''Six''': Earlier?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': In the lab?
: '''Six''': I have no idea what you're talking about.
: ''[Dr. Holiday scoffs]''
: '''Rex''': Six, I need to talk to you about Circe. Uh... Six? Earth to agent guy. You okay?
: '''Six''': I'm fine. I've just decided not to waste any more time on you, Rex.
: '''Rex''': Um... Is this because I accidentaly used your swords to slice a pizza?
: '''Six''': It's because you're weak. You don't have what it takes to complete the mission.
: '''Rex''': Ohh, I get it. This is one of your test, right?
: '''Six''': No test. Just me coming to my senses. You're not strong enough to survive what's coming. In the end, you're gonna let us all down.
: ''[Dr. Holiday crying]''
: '''Rex''': Doc? What's wrong?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': I-It's nothing, Rex. I didn't want you to see me like this.
: '''Rex''': Well, what is it?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': ''[Sobbing]'' It's Six. I'm afraid of him.
: '''Rex''': What?! That's crazy talk.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Is it? You have to have seen it. He's violent, on edge. He's losing control.
: '''Rex''': Are we talking about the same Six?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': We don't even known him. He was a killer, Rex. The old Six might have changed, but how do we know this Six didn't come back... Wrong?
: '''Dr. Meechum''': ''[Whistling]'' I have a question. How do you plan to re-create the project without a bio-interface expert?
: '''Caesar''': Oh, but we do have one.
: '''Van Kleiss''': No! The string doesn't work. Gordian knot, tied up tight. Alexander cheated. Can't cheat. Eyes on your own paper! Peter? No! Can't be! Different time, different me.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Van Kleiss? You brought back that monster?
: '''Caesar''': Of course. He was the original interface programmer. Who better?
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Excuse me a moment. White, what the heck is going on?!
: '''White Knight''': Peter? Where are you?
: '''Dr. Meechum''': I'm at providence. Where are you?
: '''White Knight''': Providence. But that's not... I have to go. We have a problem.
: '''Rex''': You're darn right we have a problem, because this isn't Peter Meechum!
: ''[Dr. Meechum laughing maniacally]''
: '''Scarecrow''': Heya, Rex. Miss me?
: '''Rex''': Who are you? Where's Meechum?
: '''White Knight''': His name's John Scarecrow. He's an EVO, specialist in infiltration. Black Knight played us.
: '''Scarecrow''': You really don't remember me, Rex? I'll give you a hint. We used to share a stomping ground. We had a problem with a shapes hifter once.
: '''Rex''': You were in Hong Kong.
: '''Scarecrow''': Give the man a prize.
: ''[Scarecrow laughs]''
: '''Six''': I think he went that way.
: '''Rex''': Wait a minute.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: ''[Scarecrow laughs]''
: '''Rex''': I cannot believe I fell for that.
: '''Scarecrow''': Look at you. You're ridiculous. You think he'll come to his senses, realize his true feelings? Then what? You'll settle down. White picket fence. Little agent kids. You're fooling yourself. You're the worst of them... you know that?...  Because you know better. You really think you can save the world? None of you can survive what's coming!
: '''Rex''': Prove it's really you. What's my favorite color?
: '''Six''': I have no idea.
: '''Rex''': It's you, all right.
: ''[Dr. Holiday screaming]''
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Put it away. I'm not the EVO.
: '''Six''': We heard you scream.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': That wasn't me.
: '''Six''': Let's all calm down. We can figure this out.
: '''Rex''': Why, Six? Because I'm weak? You don't think I can handle this?
: '''Six''': I never said that.
: '''Rex''': But you think it, right? I don't see you putting down your guns, doc.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': I know it's not me. I'm not sure about you two.
: ''[Scarecrow laughs]''
: '''Scarecrow''': So easy. I barely had to nudge you.
: '''Rex''': Whatever you're after, you're not getting away with it.
: '''Scarecrow''': Get away with it?! Re-e-e-x, I got what I needed in the first five minutes.
: '''Rex''': Then why? Why do all this?
: '''Scarecrow''': Simple. I wanted to do to you what you did to me.
: '''Rex''': I'm done with you!
: ''[Scarecrow groans]''
: '''Scarecrow''': The big hero. Why do you get to forget? It's not fair!
: '''Rex''': Whine, whine, whine. What... you didn't get enough crazy hugs as a kid?
: '''Scarecrow''': You think I'm the only one you hurt? Then tell me...
: '''Sqwydd''': What about us? Why'd you betray me? 
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Scarecrow:''' ''[as Circe]'' You promised to protect me, Rex! Where were you?
: '''Rex:''' Stop it!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: ''[Rex breathing heavily]''
: '''Caesar''': Face it, bro. It's why I left you. Mom and dad, too.
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex''': You are your own worst enemy.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': That's for Rex. That's for providence. And that was for the kiss.
: '''White Knight''': Providence won this round. No question.
: '''Rex''': They have the real Meechum. Maybe more.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': There's no telling how much of our system Scarecrow uploaded.
: '''Six''': But we have to assume they know everything we do.
: ''[Scarecrow laughs evilly]''
: '''White Knight''': Black Knight is coming for us. It's just a matter of time.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': So? I mean, we knew that. Nothing's changed, right?
: '''Six''': Rex, this is what they wanted... to turn us against each other.
: '''Rex''': Yeah, and look how easy it was. We thought we were a team, but we're not. We're vulnerable.
: '''Van Kleiss''': It's Heisenberg's uncertainty principle. Looking past Occam's Razor, we can clearly see to a quantum level. A quantum level is what I'm trying to achieve, because if I didn't do the quantum level, then I can understand what's happening.
: '''Caesar''': I know you don't like this, but it's not about us.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Can you do it? Can you control him?
: '''Caesar''': Leave Van Kleiss to me.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': What about Black Knight? I don't like her, Salazar. Never did.
: '''Caesar''': Trust me, Peter... When we're finished, the end will justify the means.

===Hermanos===
:'''Rex Salazar''': WH-O-O-O-OA! Unh! Ugh!
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Agent Six''': Be careful, Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm touched by your concern, Six.
:'''Agent Six''': It's not for you. We don't have Providence to pick up the tab anymore. You break it, you buy it.
:''[Rex growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm saving the day here. What are they gonna do--Sue me? Oh, come on! It was a rhetorical question! What was I supposed to do? The whole building was made of glass!
:'''Lawyer''': ''[Hispanic accent]'' Glass? What are you talking about?
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm... not talking about anything. What are you talking about?
:'''Lawyer''': Mr. Salazar, I'm an associate at the stateside branch of the Argentinean firm Gomez and Gomez. And today, sir, is your lucky day!
:'''Rex Salazar''': What's this?
:'''Lawyer''': It's yours!
:'''Noah Nixon''': No away! This is your house?
:'''Rex Salazar''': I know! According to the lawyer guy, this rancho in Argentina's been in my family forever. And ever since my parents died in the event, those lawyers have been trying to track down the heir. And guess who that is.
:'''Noah Nixon''': You and your brother?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, yeah, right. Him too.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Not a good time, Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Dude, it's never a good time, but you go to-- O...kay, so maybe this really isn't a good time, but this is important. I was being chased by a lawyer. No, I wasn't being sued this time. But you'll never guess what he--
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Is this about the rancho?
:'''Rex Salazar''': You know about it?
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Those lawyers have left me a dozen messages.
:'''Rex Salazar''': And you didn't tell me? Caesar, I never even knew we had this place! There might be photo albums, home movies-- I don't know-- maybe even an old teddy bear or something.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': You never had a teddy bear.
:'''Rex Salazar''': See, the fact that you know that and I don't-- that's why we need to go down there.
:'''Lawyer''': Clear!
:'''Caesar Salazar''': I can't, Rex. My work's already been interrupted once today. Although... Now that you mention the ranch, it does bring back some memories.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Really? Like what?
:'''Caesar Salazar''': There was an experiment I remember mom and dad running. If you could find the notes, it might save some time on the work I'm doing now.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Notes? Come on. Isn't family more important than-- Guess not.
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Why can't I have a normal brother? Know anything about cows? Thanks for coming with me. This is really a family thing, but my brother is, well-- My brother. 
:'''Noah Nixon''': Are you kidding? I'm psyched! I've been killing myself trying to find a birthday present for Claire. A vacation at my best friend's awesome ancestral estate? What other guy could offer her that?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, but then why bring Annie?
:'''Annie''': Um, this just kind of broke off.
:''[Annie, Claire and Noah screaming]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': AAAAAAH!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': I sure hope this isn't included in Six's &quot;You break it, you buy it&quot; policy.
:'''Annie''': Sorry.
:'''Rex Salazar''': No problem. We're here.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Are... you sure this is the place?
:'''Noah Nixon''': What happened to it?
:'''Annie''': Hey, don't look at me. I just got there.
:''[Annie gasps]''
:'''Annie''': Okay, that was me.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I guess this must be my... family.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Looks like you-- But with a 'stache.
:'''Annie''': I like you with a 'stache.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Hey, there are chickens in here!
:'''Annie''': And llamas!
:'''Noah Nixon''': Chicken, llamas-- And a funny-looking bull.
:''[Chiquito snorts]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': I-I-I take it back! You're not funny-looking!
:'''Chiquito''': This place is Durango's!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, actually--
:'''Chuquito''': No fancy talk! Just go!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Ugh! Okay, number one, how is &quot;actually&quot; fancy talk! Number two, I don't know who Durango is, but this farm isn't his. And number three--
:''[Chiquito grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Ugh! Ugh! All right, there's no misunderstanding the international language of getting punched in the face. So read my fist-- Get out of my house!
:'''Chiquito''': Durango will not be happy!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, don't know who that guy was, but problem solved.
:'''Noah Nixon''': Uh, you think? Aah!
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Senior Durango''': Calmate, Chiquito. You are my brother. I would not do anything to hurt mi hermano. Unless you force me to. I cannot lose that tract of land. Without its right of way, I will lose my claim on the rest of the county. But never mind. They will learn-- When you mess with the bull, you get the horns.
:'''Rex Salazar''': OHHH! Ugh!
:'''Noah Nixon''': A chicken just tried to poop on my shoe!
:'''Rex Salazar''': I think I can top you there.
:'''Noah Nixon''': No offense, but when I asked Claire to come here, this wasn't what I was hoping for.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, me either. I mean, I was thinking I'd find-- I don't know what. But everything in this place has been smashed or stolen. Maybe this whole family thing isn't for me.
:''[Noah gasps]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': That's the one!
:'''Claire Bowman''': Please, Noah. It just needed a little help laying an egg.
:'''Rex Salazar''': ''[Chuckling]'' What, did you grow up on a farm in Kansas?
:'''Claire Bowman''': An apartment in Chicago-- Which is where I learned to download videos onto my phone.
:'''Telephone Voice''': When caring for an egg bearing hen, remember to--
:'''Muchado''': Hola? Quien esta aquí?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Uh... hello?
:'''Muchado''': So, you are the Americans? I am Señor Muchado-- The juez.
:'''Claire Bowman''': That's like a judge?
:'''Muchado''': Sí. For all intents and purposes, I am the law in this county-- Which is why I have come here with him.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Good, because I definitely want to press charges.
:'''Muchado''': You misunderstand. I am here because of the trouble you caused for Chiquito.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Chiquito?
:''[Rex chuckles]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Your mom must have some sense of humor to name you &quot;Tiny&quot;.
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:'''Muchado''': Chiquito's brother is Señor Durango. He controls most of the land in this county, including this hacienda. At Señor Durango's request, I have prepared a legal order compelling you to vacate.
:'''Claire Bowman''': But this is Rex's farm.
:'''Annie''': Yeah, he's got a deed and everything.
:'''Muchado''': This might have some bearing-- If you were a Salazar.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, we're in luck. I am.
:'''Annie''': Maybe this will help.
:'''Muchado''': You may be a Salazar, but by our law, this land has been deemed abandoned, and Señor Durango has claimed it.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Sorry. Been sort of busy saving the world and stuff. But I'm here now, so consider his claim unclaimed, then reclaimed by me.
:'''Muchado''': It is not so simple. You would have to demonstrate you are actively maintaining the ranch. That means shearing and feeding the animals, bringing your bulls to market--
:'''Rex Salazar''': To market? What, like a... cattle drive?
:'''Claire Bowman''': No problem. We can totally figure out how to do that.
:'''Muchado''': A ranch this size requires at least a dozen hired men.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, just... uh...
:'''Muchado''': No one within 100 kilometers will help you cross Señor Durango. If you do this, you will do it alone. And you will fail.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Well, that guy was kind of a jerk.
:'''Annie''': Yeah. So, let's get to work.
:'''Noah Nixon''': How? Everything here is broken.
:'''Annie''': Uh, have you seen my house?
:'''Rex Salazar''': You guys don't have to do this.
:'''Claire Bowman''': What kind of friend would walk away now?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Uh... yeah! No way you could stop me from helping take care of these totally not-gross animals. 
:'''Rex Salazar''': Really?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Well, I'm smiling like that's what I mean, aren't?
:''[Noah exhales deeply]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': I can do this! I can't do this. Until I've done my milking warm-up.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Ugh. Hold this.
:'''Telephone Voice''': With you head resting on her flank, gently grasp the udder with the palm of your hand.
:'''Noah Nixon''': AAH!
:''[Claire giggles]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': I think she likes you.
:'''Noah Nixon''': Ugh!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': This is your home. Get in your home!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Whoa! AAAH! AAH! Ugh! This is hopeless! This farm only has one bull, and I can't even get it into the barn. And this... better just be mud.
:'''Annie''': Hang on! I'll help you!
:''[Annie gasps]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': No! Don't!
:'''Noah Nixon''': Are you guys okay?
:'''Claire Bowman''': What is it? A storm cellar?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Looks like some kind of lab.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Figures. My mom and dad were Caesar's parents, too. Of course they'd find a way to take work home with them. Probably where those notes Caesar wanted are. Might as well grab them before the judge kicks us out.
:'''Claire Bowman''': What's he talking about? I think we're doing a pretty good job taking care of the--
:'''Annie''': Uh, guys--
:''[Claire grunts]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': Wait-- Donkeys eat hay, don't they? Maybe we can use it to lure them back into the barn.
:'''Annie''': I got it! Ugh!
:''[Annie gasps]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': Well, on the plus side, at least we now know for sure that donkeys do eat hay.
:'''Rafael Salazar''': One day, these things are going to change the world, and you'll be there to see it.
:'''Violetta Salazar''': ''[chuckling]'' Caesar, please, mi hijo. Stop working for a minute and hold the camera.
:'''Young Caesar Salazar''': Okay! Okay!
:''[Claire sniffs]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': What's that smell?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Which one? Everything here smells.
:'''Claire Bowman''': No, it smells like... smoke!
:'''Annie''': Rex! The straw caught on fire, and it exploded!
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:'''Chiquito''': Hermano! No! Oomph!
:'''Senior Durango''': What were you thinking? I told you to smoke them out, not burn the land! This is my land! If you weren't my brother--
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:'''Senior Durango''': But you are. Come here.
:'''Rex Salazar''': So, you must be the brother. Hope I'm not interrupting some kind of weird tender moment.
:'''Senior Durango''': Soy Durango. And I hope there is still a chance we can reach a resonable agreement.
:'''Claire Bowman''': So, then you'll let Rex keep the farm? We played by the rules.
:'''Senior Durango''': Around here, I make the rules.
:'''Annie''': But the judge said--
:'''Senior Durango''': The judge works for me. Now, please, I'm giving you one last chance to leave.
:'''Noah Nixon''': Okay, sure! Oh, wait-- That's right. Your fire blew up what was left of our plane!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Uh, let me handle the trash-talking with the 20-foot-tall monster EVO, okay? Leave them out of this! They shouldn't even be here! It should have been my brother!
:'''Senior Durango''':  That is why you will lose your farm. Without family, a man is nothing. After all, what is this land to them?
:'''Rex Salazar''': I don't even know what this place is to me. I came here hoping to find out more about who my family is.
:''[Rex start looking at Noah, Claire and Annie, and smile to them]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': And I did. So, you're going to stop threatening them-- And me-- And get off my land.
:''[Durango snarls]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay. Here's the plan-- Stay behind me! Whoa! Ugh!
:'''Noah Nixon''': Well, there goes that plan.
:'''Senior Durango''': Hurt them. You can do that, can't you?
:'''Claire Bowman''': W-what do we do now?!
:'''Annie''': The only one of us with powers just got kicked to the curb.
:'''Noah Nixon''': That depends on what you mean by &quot;powers&quot;.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex muffled grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Not a good time, Caesar.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': I just wanted to tell you-- Forget about those notes. I realized that's not what's important about you going down there.
:''[Durango snarls]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Wow, Caesar. I can't believe you came around.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': I just realized-- The really important thing is, if you happen to find a termo-chronometer I remember having down there, it would save me from ordering one.
:''[Chiquito snarls]''
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:''[Chiquito snarls, roars]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': Ugh!
:''[Chiquito snorts]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:[''On videotape of the Salazar family]''
:'''Rafael Salazar''': One day these things are going to change the world and you'll be there to see it.
:'''Violetta Salazar''': Cesar, please miquito. Stop working for a minute and hold the camera.
:'''Young Caesar Salazar''': Okay, okay.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Noah Nixon''': This morning, I almost had to touch a cow's underparts. You think you can do me worse than that? Bring it.
:''[Chiquito snarls]''
:''[Chiquito roars]''
:'''Annie''': Ugh! I didn't mean for that to happen.
:'''Claire Bowman''': We did.
:'''Rex Salazar''': AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Ugh! AAAAAAAAAAARGH!
:'''Senior Durango''': OOMPH!
:''[Durango lows]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': WH-O-O-O-O-O-O O-OA!
:''[Durango lows]''
:''[Durango snorts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': AAAAAAAAH!
:''[Durango growls]''
:''[Durango growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Trust me-- My brother's let me down way worse. But what am I gonna do? He's my brother.
:'''Senior Durango''': It is over.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Nice ego there, but I've been hit a lot harder.
:''[Durango spits]''
:'''Senior Durango''': Those bells signal the market is ending soon. I can see you have yet to herd you cattle there.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, come on! The one cattle I've got doesn't even move!
:'''Senior Durango''': If you do not have your cattle to market before it ends, you will have failed to fulfill your deed, and this land will be mine.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Then I guess I don't have any time to waste talking about it.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Come on. Come here.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Forget it. I got this.
:'''Claire Bowman''': WHOO-HOO! Yes! Go, Rex!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': Where's Durango?
:'''Rex Salazar''': OWW! Come on! You don't move the whole time, and you can't stay still?
:''[Durango grunting]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': What is this, a western? You're actually trying to stop him with a rockslide?
:'''Senior Durango''': You? Here? How is that even possible?
:'''Telephone Voice''': Donkeys can be ridden surprinsingly fast if you--
:'''Noah Nixon''': Come on! Just give up! The farm belong to Rex. And I really want to get off this thing.
:'''Senior Durango''': You think I'm afraid of you ''[scoffs]'' boy?
:'''Claire Bowman''': Oh, it's not the boy you should be afraid of.
:'''Annie''': Oops.
:''[Durango grunting]''
:'''Senior Durango''': Ugh!
:''[Rex panting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': We sheared the llamas, we milked the cows, I got the bull to town. We did everything in the deed.
:'''Muchado''': Sí, sí. But more important, you faced Durango and won! Once the other ranchers hear of this, they won't be afraid. You have broken Durango's hold on our lands.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Wait-- You're... happy about that?
:'''Muchado''': Of course. I told you exactly what you had to do to legally gain control of the land, didn't I?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Huh. I guess you did.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Wow! Can you believe how you perfect this all worked out?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Yeah, uh, so, maybe we should get out of here before we wear out our welcome.
:'''Rex Salazar''': There's just one thing I want to do first.

===The Rescue===
:''Note'': Rex goes alone to rescue his girlfriend Circe from the clutches of Black Knight. but it turns out she has been waiting for him.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Alone Together===
:''Note'': Finally together at last, Rex and Circe reminiscence about their good and hard times together ans their romance begins to grow.
===Retribution===
===Temporary Insanity===

===Crime and Punishment===
:''Note:'' His false insanity revealed, Van Kleiss abducts Circe with the intent of punishing her for betraying him, due to her enduring love for Rex.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, Circe, you shall learn the ultimate price of betraying me.
:'''Rex:''' ''Leave her alone!!''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, Rex. For young love. One of your greatest weaknesses. After I finish off your beloved, you will no longer be a hindrance to me. 
:'''Rex''' (''enraged'')''':''' I ''said''...LEAVE HER ALONE!!!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Shadowed Past===

===Separation Anxiety===
===Brotherly Love===

===Rocky My World===
:'''Beverly:''' Oh, this is so awesome! We're seeing the Trendbenders live!
:'''Rex:''' Well, maybe not see them, but we'll totally hear them.
:'''Sebastian''': Attention! The Trendbenders will be arriving through the back of the club.
:'''Beverly:''' Slick trick! Yes, Rebecca. I know! Only drink the bottled water. No, we're not that close to the stage. Ugh! I know that's where they mosh-pit. Don't worry! Bye!
:'''Rex:''' Your sister is acting like your mother. I wouldn't put up with it. Doc?! I'm right next to her! Yes, we've got earplugs. Only bottled water-- I know! Yes, you'll pick us up at 11:00. Okay! Bye!
:'''Sly:''' ''[singing]'' I met a guy who has looking for a lucky break. I met a guy mad he wouldn't make a mistake. No loser here the weight would be upon his face. This ain't no lucky break it's just another day.
:'''Beverly:''' Hey!
:'''Rex:''' There's something wrong with that guy.
:'''Beverly:''' Yeah! It's called lack of social skills.
:'''Sebastian:''' We have to talk! You got to listen to me!
:'''Rex:''' I think they're a little too busy for a chat right now.
:'''Sebastian:''' It's me! Your first fan!
:'''Rex:''' Come on, dude. Can't you just watch the show, like everyone else?
:'''Sly:''' ''[singing]'' You won't bring me down. Yeah-yeah-yeah. You won't bring me down.
:'''Sebastian:''' I'm not just everyone else.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' You want to rethink trying to stop me?
:'''Beverly:''' Whoa! Geek in triplicate!
:'''Rex:''' More like EVO geek.
:'''Sebastian:''' I bet you're not even a real fan!
:'''Rex:''' Hey, I know their music!
:'''Sebastian:''' Yeah? What album is &quot;Bitten on the Wind&quot; from?
:'''Beverly:''' Uh, their first album.
:'''Sebastian:''' Wrong! Their third! Poser!
:'''Sly:''' Here's one from our first album-- &quot;Bitten on the Wind.&quot;
:'''Beverly:''' Told ya! Their first album! Who's the poser now?
:'''Sebastian:''' But it is their third. They keep denying their first two albums exist!
:'''Rex:''' Huh?
:''[Rex bones cracking]''
:'''Rex:''' Shouldn't you be home, making sure your mom isn't snooping around your basement? Ouch! All right, I've had enough.
:'''Sebastian:''' I know you. You're that guy from Providence that beats up on EVOs.
:'''Rex:''' And I'm guessing you're not one of my fans.
:'''Sebastian:''' This isn't over! They still need me to show them the way back. I'll make them listen to me.. No matter what! Ugh!
:'''Man:''' No re-entry without a hand stamp.
:'''Rex:''' Uh, but--
:'''JoJo:''' It's okay. He's with me. I'm JoJo, the band's manager.
:'''Beverly:''' Oh! Sly Tyler, vocals, six-stringer. Burrito Beau on the big bottom, and Leon Adler on the skins.
:'''Beau:''' Bass. Drums.
:'''Beverly:''' They're even cutter up close!
:'''JoJo:''' But Sebastian isn't. And now that fruitcake fan has become a major menace.
:'''Rex:''' You know who that guy is?
:'''Sly:''' Yeah, he's one of our first fans from way back.
:'''Leon:''' But he didn't like our change in music direction.
:'''Beau:''' Change, like in popular.
:'''Sly:''' So he started sending us nasty e-mails and slagging us on the fan sites.
:'''JoJo:''' But now he's turned violent, and it turns out he's... H-he's...
:'''Rex:''' An EVO that can multiply himself.
:'''JoJo:''' We can't handle that kind of threat, but you can.
:'''Beverly:''' Is this a job offer?
:'''JoJo:''' As head of security for the rest of the tour.
:'''Rex:''' Huh, I don't know. Putting up with groupies, great music, catering, the Rock'n'roll lifestyle-- Oh, right, like I'm not totally in for this!
:'''Beverly:''' And I'm your deputy, sheriff.
:'''Sly:''' Absolutely.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Absolutely not.
:'''Rex:''' They've got an EVO threat.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Fine, Rex. Beverly? And don't forget to use earplugs.
:'''Rex:''' Private jet to the next gig? Airline-- First class? Coach?
:'''JoJo:''' Of the road kind.
:'''Rex:''' Traveling the open road, bringing music to the people. Where to next?
:'''Beau:''' Eugene, Oregon. ''[Unenthusiastically]'' WHOO-HOO!
:'''Rex:''' Ow!
:'''Leon:''' Bad seat. Got a lot of them.
:''[Beau farts]''
:''[Rex sniffs]''
:'''Leon and Rex:''' Oh!
:''[Leon coughs]''
:'''Leon:''' Isn't the ozone layer depleted enough, Beau?
:'''Rex:''' Want to hit the streets and check out the local scene?
:'''Sly:''' Seriously, man? It's just another town.
:'''Beau:''' Been there. Seen them all.
:'''TV Announcer:''' He's currently under 3, 2 behind the leader. This is a very tricky--
:'''Rex:''' Oh, let's throw this in the pool!
:'''Leon:''' Hey, I'm watching something, dude!
:'''Rex:''' How about a food fight?
:'''Sly:''' Sorry, man. Not feeling it.
:'''Rex:''' This isn't feeling very Rock'n'Roll.
:'''JoJo:''' Rex, we hired you to consult on security, not rock-tour clichés.
:'''Sebastian:''' Room service.
:'''JoJo:''' Again? You guys, this is costing too much.
:'''Sly:''' But we didn't order anything else.
:'''Sebastian:''' That's okay. This is on the house!
:''[Sebastian grunts]''
:''[JoJo gasps]''
:'''Rex:''' Look out! He's got... Paperwork?
:'''Sebastian:''' I've got notes and visuals on where you've gone commercial and how you can get back to your roots! He's with the band now? He's not even a real fan! You see? You've got to come with me. You need my help!
:'''Rex:''' They're not going anywhere, but you are!
:'''Sebastian:''' My copies don't feel pain.
:'''Rex:''' But you do!
:'''Girl:''' Whoa! You must really be a big fan!
:'''Sebastian:''' Only of their early stuff.
:'''Girl:''' Eww! Their early stuff is weak.
:'''Teen girl:''' But their new songs are awesome!
:''[Girls giggling]''
:''[Sebastian growls]''
:''[Girls screaming]''
:'''Rex:''' Excuse me. I'm with the band.
:'''Teen girl:''' But you missed your ride.
:'''Rex:''' That's okay. I've got my own.
:'''Man:''' Rock bands! Never again!
:'''Sebastian:''' I've got to take you away from this sellout existence, where you deny your first two albums even exist.
:'''Sly:''' B-but those albums weren't any good. That's why we only had a few fans, like you.
:'''Rex:''' If there's only three of them, then who's driving the car?
:'''Sebastian:''' Aah!
:'''Rex:''' Did he... Ah! Rent that car from the circus? Time to cut this act short.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' Oh, man. I went to my first Trendbenders show in that car.
:'''Rex:''' Maybe I can't turn off your obsession, but I can shut down your nanites.
:'''Beau:''' That clone-boy?
:'''Rex:''' I don't think he's going to be a problem now.
:'''JoJo:''' We can still use you on the tour. What did you say?
:'''Rex:''' Yes!
:'''Sly:''' Good man! ''[singing]'' You see the light, and it's oh, so bright, a million times more than before, now we'll show you the door, some starts fade, and some starts shine, the bright ones stand the test of time, the others burn out and sing, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, kill your radio, you live a life for all to see, sometimes it's right, sometimes obscene, now you're the enemy, it's one for all and all for me, unlocking doors and misery, the others burn out and sing, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, out of time, kill your radio, out of time, kill your radio, out of time, kill your radio, it isn't all, that it's cracked up to be, I never thought it'd be so easy, I wouldn't have it any other way, you see the light, and it's oh, so bright, a million times more than before, now we'll show you the door, some starts fade, and some starts shine, the bright ones stand the test of time, the others burn out and sing, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, &quot;yeah&quot;.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Sly:''' At least we got a day off before the next gig.
:'''JoJo:''' Guys, a club owner in fleeceburg just offered us amazing money. I booked it.
:'''Rex:''' For when?
:'''JoJo:''' We're already running late.
:'''Sly:''' They're paying money for us to play in this dump?
:'''JoJo:''' Big money. Come on. You're on in ten minutes.
:'''Rex:''' I'm guessing ticket sales are a little slow.
:'''Leon:''' Are we breaking up?
:'''Beau:''' This dive seems awfully familiar.
:'''Sebastian:''' It should.
:'''Rex:''' That voice seems awfully familiar!
:'''Teens:''' Dude! Nobody move! What's going on? Who's touching me? What is this? Excuse me. What is going on?
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' I built an exact replica of the first club you played in.
:'''Beau:''' Hey, that's one of my puke stains. Fruitcake knows his details.
:'''Rex:''' But I cured you.
:'''Sebastian:''' Hmm... That was a copy, not the original.
:'''Sly:''' Whatever. When's this gonna end, fan-boy?
:'''Sebastian:''' It ends tonight. Check the floor at your feet.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' I've given up trying to get you back to your roots. So now you'll play what I want to hear for the next hour. And then your career ends with a bang. :'''Sly:''' On behalf of the band, I'd like to thank our manager, JoJo, for booking this totally insane gig!
:''[JoJo laughs nervously]''
:'''Sebastian:''' The sound of cold, hard cash is the only music sellouts like you listen to anymore.
:'''Rex:''' They're not sellouts. They just got more popular than you wanted.
:'''Sebastian:''' You try anything, and I'll end their last gig prematurely. You're only alive because I want you to see what the Trendbenders used to be like. For the next hour give me the early stuff, when you were cool.
:'''Sly:''' Why bother? You're gonna nuke us, anyway.
:'''Sebastian:''' Because if you don't play, this happens!
:'''Sly:''' Aah!
:'''Leon, Sly and Beau:''' No more!
:'''Sly:''' Okay, dude, what's the first number?
:'''Sebastian:''' &quot;Crawling undertow&quot;!
:'''Sly:''' Well, how does it feel?
:'''Sebastian:''' First album, seventh song. Fifth song on the Japanese import.
:'''Sly:''' To get that weight back on our shoulders--
:'''Sebastian:''' You're giving it a beat that wasn't in the original, man! Not even in the remix from the box set. Play it right this time! I'm missing the concert because of you!
:'''Rex:''' Stinks to be you. Got to cure the real Sebastian. But which one is the mother ship?
:'''Sebastian:''' You can't even play your old songs like you used to. Total disappointment. Let's end this bummer concert.
:'''Sly:''' But we still have over a half-hour left!
:'''Sebastian:''' Last song, no encore.
:'''Rex:''' Tell me who's the original, or I'll turn you into dessert topping!
:'''Sebastian:''' You don't scare me. I don't feel pain.
:'''Rex:''' But the real Sebastian does. Sly! Maximum feedback! Now! Thanks, Doc.
:'''Sebastian''': AAAHHHH!
:'''Rex:''' How do you like their new hit, Sebastian Prime? Here's another new groove you're not going to like.
:'''Sebastian:''' Aah!
:'''Rex:''' Congrats. You're back to being a solo act.
:'''Sebastian:''' You've got to listen to me!
:''[Sebastian yelling]''
:'''Rex:''' Kidnapping, assault and battery, construction without a permit-- that should keep him away for years.
:'''JoJo:''' Have to say it, guys, but we've got a gig in toledo to get to. Security?
:'''Rex:''' Not anymore. Sebastian's done, and so am I.
:'''Sly:''' Dude, I thought you wanted the rock'n'roll lifestyle.
:'''Rex:''' I'm not tough enough for it. I need to get back to something easier, like city-smashing EVOs and conspiracies to take over the world.
:'''Beau:''' Don't know what your missing.
:'''Rex:''' I think do. But I don't miss this. Yes, doc? Don't need my earplugs anymore. I quit. Will you let me tell you? No, the EVO threat wasn't just an excuse. Well, I'm coming back! Will you let-- Doc!

===Lost and Found===

===My Brother's Keeper===

===Target: the Consortium===
: '''Jungle Cat:''' You are...?
: '''Rex:''' Rex. Rex Salazar. What are you?
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Lost... and found.
: '''Rex:''' HUNH! AAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
: ''[Rex gasps deeply]''
: '''Rex:''' Whoa. That was a total zero on the fun meter.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Learning how to communicate with the nanite world isn't about fun. Did you get anywhere at all?
: '''Rex:''' Don't know. I connected with a Master Control Nanite for a second, and then I lost it. But I also got, like, this feeling that something's about to happen in the nanite world. Something... big.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Argh! This is Rylander's speciality, not mine. There's no way I can cover for him.
: '''Caesar:''' Not to worry, Dr. Meechum. You won't have to any longer. Dr. Rylander will take over from here.
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Oh, really, Caesar? From his current location of beyond the grave?
: '''Rylander:''' Actually, Peter, I was never completely dead-- just spread a little thin-- ''[chuckling]'' Moleculary speaking. Caesar's been working on putting me back together.
: '''Black Knight:''' All of them together-- At last. Contact the Consortium. We now have something to show them. Something big.
: '''White Knight:''' Even having two of the Master Control Nanites doesn't change the vital importance of finding the other three. But the latest intel I've received could give us a way to neutralize the group obsessed with these machines.
: '''Six:''' The Consortium.
: '''Rex:''' Aren't those the money guys that bankrolled the Nanite Project in Providence?
: '''White Knight:''' The same. Formerly made-up of six members, but now five-- Reddick, made his wealth in real estate and construction. Vostock, black market finance and KGB... Zanubian, arms dealing and shipping. Roswell, oil and minerals. Anthony Haden-Scott, worldwide media.
: ''[Rex munches]''
: '''Rex:''' Should we be writing this down for the pop quiz later?
: '''White Knight:''' You may be facing them soon because of the efforts of our stealthiest agent.
: '''Rex:''' Mm! Thank you! I think.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' He's not talking about you.
: '''Rex:''' Hey! It's Evo-cat guy! Uh... sorry-- What's your name? O...kay, cat with no collar, what's in the sack? Bunch of canaries? Well, that's... something.
: '''White Knight:''' Our associate has been tracking the Consortium with a little help from a former member.
: '''Rex:''' I remember him! He's the one Rylander got revenge on with an EVO love letter.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' That he never recovered from. But he's still full of useful knowledge about the other members.
: '''Rex:''' As long as you have a towel handy for the answers.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' The Consortium has financed a new facility for nanite research. All of them will be at that location within the next six hours.
: '''Six:''' And so will we.
: '''White Knight:''' A rare opportunity like this can't be missed. You three will capture the Consortium and bring them to a secure location. Understood?
: '''Rex:''' Purrfectly.
: '''Black Knight:''' Gentlemen, I wanted you here today to--
: '''Reddick:''' &quot;Wanted?&quot; Sounds like a command.
: '''Vostok:''' ''[Russian accent]'' You get to ask, not order.
: '''Black Knight:''' I'm sorry. Let me restate. I asked you here because I can now present some major developments in your quest. I finished construction on the nanite reactor and reassembled against all odds the original science team to run it. Doctors Meechum, systems expert. Salazar, artificial intelligence. Rylander, microengineering. And Van Kleiss, biomechanical integration.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Nanite's recorder locked in. Hologram Rylander saves money on meals. Glow, glow, glow, yipper.
: ''[Van Kleiss smooches]''
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' A human flashlight and a brain-fried babbler. This is what I'm supposed to work with.
: '''Vostok:''' Looks like your geniuses have some issues.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' ''[British accent]'' I seem to recall there were two other Salazars on the team.
: '''Black Knight:''' They're dead-- And just as well. Considering their actions are responsible for our setbacks, I highly doubt they would have cooperated.
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Black Pawns:''' Ohh!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Black Pawns got to talk to their costume designer. Way too stuffy.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Be quiet.
: '''Six:''' Our target?
: '''Roswell:''' ''[Southern accent]'' Little lady, I'm hoping you didn't get me out here just to watch some lab jockeys do their homework.
: '''Vostok:''' I know I've got better things to do.
: '''Black Knight:''' Aside from the all-important reassembly of the science team and activation of the nanite reactor, I do have another development to show you.
: '''Roswell:''' Yeah? What else you got?
: '''Black Knight:''' An acquisition.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Lost... and found.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' What's wrong with you?
: '''Rex:''' Forget the Consortium! I know where we can find a Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Six:''' Where?
: '''Rex''': Here.
: '''Six:''' We're doing both. You two get the nanite, I'll get the Consortium.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' On of the five? That's all?
: '''Reddick:''' You know we need all of the Master-Control Nanites to do us any good.
: '''Vostok:''' What about the two you lost? And the other two still out there?
: '''Black Knight:''' We'll have the other four in due time. Take this back to the vault. But remember that each one has its own useful powers. : '''Roswell:''' Not enough to drag me all the way out there, little lady.
: '''Black Knight:''' &quot;Black Knight&quot;.
: '''Black Pawns:''' You're not one of us.
: '''Six:''' Stay clear of the Pawns. They're not buying our cover. Repeat-- Stay clear of the Pawns.
: '''Rex:''' Steel door. A vault!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' That was close.
: '''Rex:''' Got it. Have to be as stealthy as you from now on.
: ''[Jungle Catsnarls]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarling]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Van Kleiss!
: ''[Jungle Cat muffled grunting]''
: '''Rex:''' Way not to be stealthy. Sorry, cat guy. I know you want payback for him turning you into stone and all, but the nanite is more important.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Security alert. Intruder.
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' You find the nanite. I'll be a diversion.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' She has shown us some progress. That one nanite is significant in itself.
: '''Reddick:''' It's all five or nothing. Or are you thinking of working a separate deal with the one?
: '''Vostok:''' Can we please not talk like this while those two are in the room?
: '''Roswell:''' Yeah, Xanubian, put a sock in all your yammerin'.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Another intruder at security zone three. It's Agent Six.
: '''Rex:''' Gotcha.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Unh! Aah!
: '''Rex:''' I'll take that. Six! I've got the nanite!
: '''Six:''' Meet your outside.
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Rex:''' I've got it! Let's scat, cat!
: '''Black Knight:''' If he's here-- So is Rex. Vault security, come in.
: '''Reddick:''' Is there a problem?
: '''Black Knight:''' A minor security issue. I'm taking care of it.
: '''Vostok:''' ''[Russian accent]'' You better, little lady.
: '''Rex:''' Well, mission half accomplished.
: '''Six:''' This should complete it.
: '''Rex:''' You planted a bomb?!
: '''Six:''' Plan &quot;B&quot;.
: '''Rex:''' The cat! He's still inside! No!! We've got to go back for the cat! He's on his own mission. Van Kleiss is there.
: '''Six:''' Understood.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Black Knight, shouldn't we evacuate?
: '''Black Knight:''' The security threat has been removed. Among other things. Track them, find them.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Interlace template, instal copper buffers, hold the mayo, set core temp, heat cold fries.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Remember me?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Someone let the cat in.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' You cast me aside as if I was garbage. Turned me to stone. Drained me of life-- Almost. Now it's your turn to suffer.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Had a kitty once. Not you. Bubbles liked catnip and parsnips. Chapped lips. Hip, hip, hooray!
: ''[Jungle Cat growls]''
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' If you're here to clean up, ask for directions, not Dr. Screwloose.
: '''Rex:''' Ugh! Meechum. Bro. He's here to put Van Kleiss out of the world's misery. Give me a reason why he shouldn't.
: ''[Jungle Cat growls]''
: '''Rylander:''' Because the world needs him right now, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' Dr. Rylander! How did you--
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' You got it to work.
: '''Rylander:''' I've looked better, I'll admit, but I'm still very much alive. And so happy to see you again.
: '''Rex:''' If you could bring him back--
: '''Caesar:''' Sorry, Rex. It won't work for mom and dad.
: '''Rex:''' So, you've come back-- But you're working for them! It seems crazy, I know, but look at our progress-- The nanite reactor is almost operational.
: '''Rex:''' Not if I destroy it.
: '''Black Knight:''' Surround them.
: '''Caesar:''' Trust me, hermano, We're doing the right thing.
: '''Rex:''' You keep saying that, but I don't believe it anymore!
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Bubbles, I'm sorry. Here, kitty, kitty. Left you out in the rain, rain go away--
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarling]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh! Easy on the hot sauce, Peter, Peter pumpkin two seater.
: '''Rylander:''' Tell him, Caesar.
: '''Rex:''' Tell me what?
: '''Six:''' Revenge time is up.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: ''[Jungle Cat roars]''
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Aah! Careful! Our work! Ugh! Take it outside!
: '''Rex:''' Ugh!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Rex. Rex Salazar.
: '''Rex:''' I can't talk now! Ugh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Thank you.
: '''Rex:''' You're so not welcome.
: '''Black Knight:''' You should have left when you had the chance.
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' You guys have such a great cafeteria.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Had to come back for more.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Aah! Unh!
: '''Six:''' Unh!
: ''[Black Knight grunting]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Unh!
: '''Six:''' UNNNNNNNNH!
: '''Black Knight:''' Ugh!
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Rex:''' Let's say adiós.
: '''Six:''' There's still plan &quot;B&quot;.
: '''Rex:''' We're not assassins.
: '''Six:''' You're not. This might be our one chance.
: '''Rex:''' To be like them? Then what makes us different?
: '''Six:''' Go. I'm right behind you.
: '''Roswell:''' You brought us into an ambush! Right behind you, Mr. Chatterbox.
: '''Vostok:''' You are cowards.
: '''Reddick:''' Graveyards are full of dummies that thought they were though.
: '''Vostok:''' Black Knight, we have a lot to discuss about your future.
: '''Black Knight:''' By all means, let's talk.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Where's Six?
: '''Rex:''' He said he was right behind us.
: '''Six:''' I am. The Consortium still has to be dealt with.
: '''Rex:''' We now have three Master Control Nanites. I'd say the Consortium has to deal with us.
: '''Six:''' Understood.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Purrfectly.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' I'm shocked. What happened?
: '''Black Knight:''' It seems Vostok had an unfortunate run-in with our intruders as he was leaving. But, there's good news. The reactor is gone. Soon we will have all the nanites we need.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' &quot;We&quot;?
: '''Black Knight:''' I think it's time we walked about my promotion.

===Convergence===
===Enter the Nanite World===

===Enemies Mine===
: '''Valve:''' Battle is to be waged between your courage and my power. You lose.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Valve, my friend. Lovely day for a riot, don't you think?
: '''Valve:''' What do you want, Gatlocke?
: '''Gatlocke:''' I want lots of things-- A doomsday weapon, my own private island, for my mom to stop calling me to fix her computer. But what I really want is to give you a message. It's time. I suppose I'll make the introductions.
: '''Valve:''' A biker needs no introduction. And everyone knows Hunter Cain.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Everything is going according to plan. We get one more thing. Then we get wrecked.
: '''Rex:''' Sorry we're late.
: '''Bobo:''' We're not late. We're fashionably early.
: '''Providence Agent:''' I was starting to think I was on my own. I've been calling for help, but  Providence hasn't answered.
: '''Six:''' What set this off?
: '''Providence Agent:''' No idea. One moment everything was fine. The next moment, complete chaos.
: '''Rex:''' I'm heading in. I'll lock up when I'm done. Oh, don't bother getting up. I'm just gonna knock you back down again.
: '''Bobo:''' Back in your cages, you filthy animals!
: '''Rex:''' Huh? What? You? It's a who's-who of old EVOs. Whew! Really not in the mood for this. You're kidding me. You?!
: '''Gatlocke:''' Three men, one objective, no rules. Oh, this is exciting, isn't it? Or is it just me?
: '''Valve:''' The others are saying that Rex is here. Rex will get his when we're ready.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Watch yourselves. This one's unpredictable. We know what you want, No-Face. Then we can give it to you. Do what we say. Then you'll get Rex. You'll get the chance to tear Rex apart. Piece by piece. Now we're ready.
: '''Rex:''' So you remember who I am. Surprised you have a big enough brain for that. These cells are pretty dull. Let's redecorate. No way I'm letting an EVO get won over on me. Especially a big old frog.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Almost out. Freedom is just a... Bottomless ravine away.
: '''Valve:''' The biker begs the question, how are we getting across?
: '''Gatlocke:''' You know that's not really how begging the question is supposed to be used. Are we kidding? Anyone who gets worked up over that phrase needs to be savagely beaten.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' This'll override the drawbridge system.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Ooh, now how would someone like you procure something like that?
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Friends and hide places.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, frog legs. Let's put you in solitary confinement.
: '''Bobo:''' Do you look like you got run over by an overstuffed garbage truck?
: '''Rex:''' Feels like it. This is a prison riot. Where's Providence? They should be all over this.
: '''Six:''' They never responded to any calls.
: '''Rex:''' It's a setup. Providence wanted this to happen. But why?
: '''Six:''' Six here. Go ahead.
: '''Rex:''' Wait. This bridge wasn't down before.
: '''Bobo:''' Yeah. About that. Some of the prisoners escaped together. Gatlocke...
: '''Rex:''' That's bad.
: '''Bobo:''' Hunter Cain...
: '''Rex:''' That's even worse!
: '''Bobo:''' Valve.
: '''Rex:''' That's... Really? Valve?
: '''Bobo:''' Yeah. And No-Face.
: '''Rex:''' Those four are loose? Together?
: '''Six:''' We've got a bigger problem.
: '''Rex:''' How can it be bigger than this?
: '''Six:''' The EVOs in the city-- The only thing keeping them tame are their control collars.
: '''Rex:''' And this is a problem because...?
: '''Six:''' Because someone has shut them all down.
: '''Rex:''' Let me get that for you.
: '''Bobo:''' Dumpster dog. Considering you used to ride around in the Paris, I guess you're moving up in the world. Main to your mud.
: '''Six:''' Are you injured?
: '''Rex:''' Just worn out. Is this day over yet?
: '''Bobo:''' Oh! Signs pointing no.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? That came from the track. Can you handle things here?
: '''Bobo:''' Only one way to find out. Valve. Those nanite superchargers you keep using are bad for your health.
: '''Valve:''' If I were you, I'd be more concerned with your own short-term health.
: '''Rex:''' Please, like I have anything to worry about from you. The other three, they're dangerous. You, you're just comedy relief.
: '''Valve:''' I am not. Comedy relief.
: '''Rex:''' Well, you're not funny, that's for sure.
: '''Valve:''' Like the road that continues on, so must the biker.
: '''Rex:''' Where did he go so? Ew! Get away from my tacos, cockroach! Huh? You running away? I'll give you this much, Valve. Maybe you're getting smarter.
: '''No-Face:''' Unlike you.
: '''Rex:''' I put you away once, No-Face. I'll do it again.
: '''No-Face:''' The one who makes machines. The one we've been waiting for.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Figures you try to shoot a guy in the back.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' All I see is a filthy EVO.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, first off, that Lai is tired. Second off, last time I checked, you're teaming up with one. Would that make you an EVO lover? All this hide and seek is wearing me down! Huh? Figures.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Leaving so soon? That's not going to impress the hiring committee. Now, let's see what we have here. &quot;Honor roll, A/V Club.&quot; Ugh. &quot;Glee Club.&quot; ''[Scoffs]'' I'm going to have to be brutally honest with you. You're perfect for my gang. Can you sing soprano? My last soprano drove his motorcycle off a cliff. He survived, but his voice was never the same. By the way, can you fly? This is quite the surprise. I'm willing to hire you, Rex, but you better have some excellent references.
: '''Rex:''' Back to prison, Gatlocke!
: '''Gatlocke:''' Then consider the offer rescinded! You could be a valued member of my gang. It's a tough job market out there, you know?
: '''Rex:''' I'd never work for you!
: '''Gatlocke:''' No, not with that attitude, you wouldn't. Welcome to my gang. Your first task is to destroy Rex-- That guy right there.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Gatlocke:''' Your second task is to complete harassment training. I teach the class. This pamphlet explains everything.
: '''Rex:''' No, no, no!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, come in. What's happening?
: '''Rex:''' One really bad day.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Your nanite readings are off the charts.
: '''Rex:''' No surprise. I've been fighting and curing EVOs non stop.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' We need to upload your nanites immediately.
: '''Rex:'''  Now? Doc, my four worst enemies are still on the loose. Well, my three worst enemies in Valve. Plus the city's in chaos. And where in the world is Providence? How come they're not here dealing with this?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Six and Bobo can mop up the last few EVOs. You have to offload.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, fine. But we better make it fast.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You'll be locked in the chamber for one hour.
: '''Rex:''' Just do it, Doc.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' This could be a long sixty minutes.
: '''Valve:''' According to the tracking bug, Rex is inside.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Gentlemen, this is what we've been waiting for. It's time for Rex to die.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' They followed him.
: '''Gatlocke:''' After we kill Rex. We should work together and form a team call ourselves... Gatlocke and the kitty cats.
: '''Valve:''' Silence your mouth or the biker will silence it for you.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Oh, Valve. You can pretend to be angry, but deep down, you know you're a kitty cat.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' They know we're here.
: '''Gatlocke:''' You're quite feisty. Have you ever considered a career in the fast growing field of post apocalyptic gangs?
: '''Valve:''' She has spirit. Valve the biker will see that spirit crushed.
: '''Gatlocke:''' You're Gatlocke's favorite kitty cat. Hmm. Rrr.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Don't follow her. She's trying to lead us away from Rex. Rex is close-by.
: '''Valve:''' Rex's chamber... Five minutes to spare.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' More than enough time.
: '''Gatlocke:''' I could have sworn that we'd agreed to take Rex out together.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' I'm changing the terms of the deal if you have a problem with that, feel free to stand right where you are. I've waited a long time for this. Rex!
: '''Valve:''' Empty? Or a trick of the mind?
: '''Rex:''' Isn't that obvious? Then again, that tracking bug you stuck on me was obvious, too. And the fake countdown? Obvious. It only took me thirty minutes to upload my nanites. You wanted to run me ragged so you could get me. Instead, here you are all in one place. Gotcha!
: '''Valve:''' UGHH!
: '''Rex:''' UGHHHH! I still don't get why you enlisted Valve. I mean, he's really a third-string bad guy.
: '''Valve:''' Valve is the biker. A biker is dangerous.
: '''Rex:''' Hmm. Yeah. No.
: '''Valve:''' Rrrr!
: '''Rex:''' So unpredictable. Like a third-string bad guy.
: '''Valve:''' AAAAH!
: '''Gatlocke:''' I have a horrible sneaking suspicion that he's winning.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Then do something about it!
: '''Gatlocke:''' Don't have to yell. A kind word will get you much further.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Gatlocke:''' UGHHH! Oh! Oh! Oh ho ho! Ouch! My back! My front and my back! OHH! This is total, total agony!
: ''[Gatlocke gasps]''
: '''Gatlocke:''' ''[Calmly]'' I'm okay. Really. I'm fine.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' You're lucky. I'll give you that. But you're only delaying the inevitable. You can't beat us all!
: '''Rex:''' I never intended to. This offload facility? I reprogrammed it. My surplus nanites aren't being stored. They're powering the shield.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' It's a trap!
: '''Rex:''' Have fun keeping each other company!
: '''Bobo:''' What a day.
: '''Rex:''' You know, none of this would have happened if Providence hadn't released the convicts and turned out all those EVOs.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' They did that to keep you busy.
: '''Rex:''' Keep me busy from what?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' The Nanite Project. We just found out. While we dealt with the EVOs, Black Knight got her hands on another Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Rex:''' Then it's time.

===Sinister Secrets===
===Wounded Hearts===
===One Step Ahead===
===Breaking Point===
===Behind Closed Doors===

===Keeping Hope===
===Trust===

===Terror of the Black Knight===

===Endgame, Part One===
: '''Rex:''' It was going to happen sooner or later. We had most of the pieces, so it was only a matter of time before the Black Knight made her move. And of all the chances she had to attack, it had to be tonight... at this very moment... while I was in the shower. Huh? How many?
: '''Six:''' Should it matter?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Can't you do any better than that?
: '''Bobo:''' I thought you'd never ask.
: '''Rex:''' Rah! Yah!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' If they get to the Meta-Nanites, we still have options.
: '''Rex:''' Of the self-destruct kind? No, thanks, Doc. It's not going to end that way... hopefully.
: '''Black Knight:''' We'll dispense with the pleasantries. You know what we want.
: '''Rex:''' There is no way you're walking out of here with the nanites.
: '''Black Knight:''' You seem so certain.
: '''Rex:''' We've beaten you before. Every single time, in fact. So, this time is different... How? Okay, that's different. Ugh! You're an EVO?!
: '''Black Knight:''' Do you think you were the only one they experimented on back in the day? You were the guinea pig. Consider me the new-and-improved version.
: '''Rex:''' Okay. Before we go any further, I should probably explain a few things. It started when a bunch of rich guys decided they wanted to live forever, so they got the best scientists in the world to figure out how. The answer was nanites. These microscopic machines would cure disease, end hunger, and pretty much make the world a better place. My parents and older brother were on the team, and so was this guy. Look familiar? Van Kleiss. Then one day there was an accident. To save my life, my parents injected me with nanites. It worked. But there were a few crazy side effects, like the fact I could talk to machines and, later on, build some pretty cool things. That got the rich guys thinking-- How far could we take this? Turns out pretty far. These little machines could control the very fabric of the Universe, but they would need a Master Control Nanite to program all the others and tell them what to do. Energy, gravity, time/space, elemental, mechanical-- All the things that make the Universe run. Combined together, they would pretty much make you a God. And when my brother and parents found out the Consortium was about to put these nanites inside themselves, they sort of freaked out in a &quot;got to save the Earth&quot; kind of way. Something had to be done to stop it. Turns out that meant blowing the whole thing up, better known as &quot;The Nanite Event&quot;. That didn't end well for my parents. While everyone else ran away, my parents were trapped inside. Sill not sure how. There was some good news-- No more Master Control Nanites. And the bad news? Dangerous unprogrammed nanites got spread across the world, and nanites plus DNA equals EVO. My brother Caesar got caught in a time warp during his escape. Van Kleiss got blown to smithereens and became the world's biggest pain in the nanite. And me? I got amnesia and traveled the globe living the good life... At least, that's how I tell it. The only part I know of wasn't all that much to brag about. I did get some good friends and a few enemies out of the deal. Turns out that losing my memory was a regular thing for me. Last time I woke up and said, &quot;Who Am I?&quot; It was when this guy found me-- Agent Six. He worked for Providence, sort of a global police force created to clean up after the event. It was paid for mostly by the same group of goons that started the whole thing-- The Consortium. It was great for a while. I had my own personal doctor, a chimp sidekick, a cool best friend to hang with. I was a full-fledged hero. The world loved me, and my powers kept getting better and better. Van Kleiss was still a pain, but I managed to take care of him. A few times, actually. Then things started to get not so cool. My brother shows up from out of nowhere. I get thrown six months into the future to find White Knight kicked out of Providence and this lady in charge-- Black Knight. She's been the lapdog of the Consortium from day one, and now her bosses want to pick up where they left off. Most of the old team of scientists have been reunited, and together, they've restarted the nanite program. The Master Control Nanites were spread across the globe in the first explosion, and we've been racing against Providence to get them back. So far, we've been winning that fight, and that pretty much brings us to right now.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' The Black Pawns are robots?!
: '''Black Knight:''' Total obedience at the flip of a switch. Can you blame me?
: '''Black Pawn:''' What's so funny?
: '''Six:''' I hold back against people. You're not people.
: ''[Bobo Haha grunts]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Ugh!
: '''Feakins:''' Hey! Hey! Take it easy, would you? Oh!
: '''Rex:''' Fitzy?!
: '''Feakins:''' Heh? Sorry, guy. They found me. She's hard to say &quot;No&quot; to... and live.
: '''Black Knight:''' Well put, Mr. Feakins. And thanks to his unique ability, we can set aside our nanite enhancements and do this the old-fashioned way.
: '''Rex:''' Come on. That's not fair. I'm unarmed!
: '''Black Knight:''' Precisely.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Stop! Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad idea.
: '''Rex:''' Listen to the crazy guy.
: '''Black Knight:''' Why are you here, Van Kleiss?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I forgot. Oh, no, wait. I remember. He's got a Master Control Nanite swallowed up inside him. It's been hiding, the naughty thing.
: '''Rex:''' On second thought, don't listen to him. He's, uh-- He's crazy, remember?
: '''Black Knight:''' You're sure of this?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, yes, yes. Quite sure. Do you have any mints?
: '''Black Knight:''' I want Rex at the lab. Restrain and sedate him.
: '''Rex:''' How, hold on a minute.
: '''Feakins:''' Hey! What about me?
: '''Black Knight:''' I'm not taking any chances. He stays with Rex. Kill the others.
: '''Rex:''' Ugh! Ahh.
: '''Master-Control Nanite:''' Human.
: '''Rex:''' What are you telling me? What do you want?
: '''Master-Control Nanite:''' Complete. Complete. Complete. Complete. Complete.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, I get it. How?
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Caesar:''' Calm down, Rex. You're safe.
: '''Rex:''' Safe?! Black Knight and her robo-troopers just came knocking, and Van crazy says I have a Master Control Nanite inside me!
: '''Caesar:''' Fascinating, isn't it? All this time, it's been hiding undetected inside you. I wonder if this particular control unit is responsible for his unique nano-evolution.
: '''Rex:''' Are any of you even listening to me?
: '''Feakins:''' Boy, I am. It's like a movie but real! I just want to go start pressing buttons. Can I get another milkshake?
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' How exactly do you plan on getting it out of him?
: '''Black Knight:''' I have a suggestion. Tear it out.
: '''Rylander:''' It would kill him.
: '''Black Knight:''' That's none of my concern.
: '''Caesar:''' The nanite is tied to his DNA. Simply pulling it out of him would ruin the nanite.
: '''Rex:''' And me, too, remember?
: '''Caesar:''' The only way this will work is if we put him in the cyclotron with the other Metas. It should extract automatically during the reassembly.
: '''Black Knight:''' And if it doesn't?
: '''Caesar:''' Hmm. Good question.
: '''Rex:''' Here's another one-- Don't I get a say in this? Like, isn't this the exact thing that our parents died trying to stop?
: '''Black Knight:''' Take him to the hub and prepare for the transfer. The Consortium is here and extremely impatient. I want this finished within the hour.
: '''Feakins:''' Aah! Hey, what am I-- Sandpaper? Not so rough! ''[sputtering]'' Rough.
: '''Rex:''' Glad someone can see the humor in this.
: '''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, see that Rex is well taken care of.
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' I hope you know what you're doing, Salazar. This is a huge risk we're taking.
: '''Rylander:''' Listen to Peter. The thing we swore to stop at any cost, the thing that took your parents-- It could happen-- Right here, today.
: '''Caesar:''' It can't, and it won't. You'll have to trust me on this.
: '''Rylander:''' You can only say that so many times, Caesar.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' We've been waiting almost an hour. Not even refreshments?
: '''Black Knight:''' You can have your snack after we become Gods.
: '''Roswell:''' &quot;We&quot;?
: '''Black Knight:''' That's right-- &quot;We.&quot; None of this would be possible without my efforts.
: '''Roswell:''' And our money, sister.
: '''Black Knight:''' By all means, have your contempt. There's plenty of room buried next to the Russian if you'd like to keep him company. That's what I thought. Now, if you'll follow me--
: '''Bobo:''' &quot;Kill the others.&quot; Not gonna happen, lady. We're bulletproof. Ow! Hangnail.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Ugh! We know where they took him. Why are we here? We need to go get Rex.
: '''Six:''' I agree. We just don't have the resources, Rebecca. We'd need an army.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You've been known to make the impossible happen, Six. How hard could that be?
: '''Six:''' Six here. Copy that. We just got ourselves an army.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You see?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' That will be all.
: '''Feakins:''' But the lady said-- Good luck, Kid.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' These restraints were made for you. You're very special, you know.
: '''Rex:''' Lucky me.
: '''Caesar:''' Van Kleiss... leave us.
: '''Rex:''' I really hate you.
: '''Caesar:'''I know how this looks, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' But what? I just have to trust you? Is that what you were going to say? Just help me-- Please.
: '''Caesar:''' It may not seem like it, but I am.
: '''Rex:''' Caesar... I'm scared.
: '''Caesar:''' So am I, little brother. This will all be over in a few minutes.
: '''Rex:''' It's already over! When I get out of this, I never want to see you again!
: '''Rylander:''' Commencing countdown.
: '''Roswell:''' WHOO-HOO!
: '''Reddick:''' Payback time!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Caesar:''' This won't be entirely unpleasant. It should feel similar to when you offload surplus nanites.
: '''Rex:''' Stop! You can't do this! You can't merge!
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Something's wrong.
: '''Rylander:''' Of course something's wrong. The kid is fighting it.
: '''Caesar:''' This could be bad.
: '''Rylander:''' You have to tell him, Caesar.
: '''Caesar:''' Rex, you have to stop. Listen to me. The nanites are supposed to do-- Rex? Can you hear me?
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Actually, he can't. There's a short in the comm relay.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' This would be a wonderful day for a picnic.
: '''Rex:''' RA-A-A-A-A-A-H!
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' Ugh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Ugh!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' So much for that plan.
: ''[Rex laughs]''
: '''Rex:''' Oh, serves you right. All that and you come out of the oven looking like freaks. Nice job!
: '''Black Knight:''' It's not exactly what we were expecting, but it's a start.
: '''Reddick:''' This isn't what we agreed to.
: '''Roswell:''' Where's the rest of our power? This is all messed up!
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' How can this be possible?
: '''Rylander:''' The Meta-Nanites were dispersed between the five. This is quite a surprise.
: '''Caesar:''' We've got to get Rex out of there. Step aside, Van Kleiss.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' They still don't have what they want... and neither do you.
: '''Black Knight:''' You're angry. I can see that. If you want to take it out on anyone, it should be Rex.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' I think I can agree to that.
: '''Roswell:''' Count me in! This might actually be fun!
: '''Rex:''' Let's think about this for a second. Whoa!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' How 'bout that? Exactly one second. Whoa! Aah!
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' What a perfect way to learn to use our powers-- Tearing this brat apart.
: '''Rex:''' Only one problem with that, sparky. I've been using my powers a whole lot longer-- And I'm pretty good.
: '''Roswell:''' You got any ideas here, missy, or we gonna stand around and get it handed to us?
: '''Black Knight:''' The Meta-Nanites were designed to work together. So will we.
: '''Rex:''' What? Are you gonna join together to make a robo-mutant?
: '''Black Knight:''' That's exactly what we're going to do.
: '''Rex:''' I need to stop giving them ideas. Huh?
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Black Knight:''' No one the help you-- No family, no friends, nothing. It's a terrible way to go.
: '''White Knight:''' Captain Calan, target the base. All weapons, sire.
: '''Providence Agent:''' Fire control reports they're being jammed, sir.
: '''White Knight:''' Only one salvo. Black Knight must have prepared for this.
: ''[Rex groans softly]''
: '''Rex:''' Big giant robot. Black Knight.
: '''Six:''' We know.
: '''Rex:''' Have to... stay and stop them.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Another time, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' I-I--
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Holiday to White Knight. We have Rex.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' We're just gonna watch them go?!
: '''Black Knight:''' Let Providence have their weapon back. With our combined power, the world is ours.

===Endgame, Part Two===
:'''Black Knight:''' Science has given us a tremendous gift-- Nanites. We've seen what they can do-- The good and the bad. But they're true potential has been largely unseen. Until now. Our goals are varied. Fame... power... revenge... wealth... order. Yet, one thing unites us-- Greed. You're surprised I admit it? Well, don't be. You'll never get far in life without wanting it all. And for those who might consider standing in our way... We'll let our powers speak for themselves. The world is ours. And no one can stop us.
:''[Roswell laughs]''
:'''Roswell:''' This is more fun than my first rodeo. What else you got?
:'''Six:''' Any change?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' He's sleeping. The nanites in him are making repairs. That's a good thing. He's a tough kid, Six.
:'''Six:''' I know.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' See you next time. Judging by what you fed us for lunch, I'm guessing twenty minutes. Can't even go to the little scientists' room without them breathing down our necks. How long are we going to put up with this?
:'''Caesar:''' I know it's not easy working under these circumstances.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Do you? I don't hear you complaining, or have you even noticed that we're prisoniers?
:'''Rylander:''' Gentlemen, please. Can we focus on a more important problem? The Consortium's gain of power is a troubling outcome. Something should be done.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' If you're talking about stopping them, I'm listening.
:'''Black Knight:''' I want you all in the boardroom in three minutes.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' The world is being taken over by nanite-fueled ex-c.e.o. Psychos, and they still act like they're running a business.
:'''Roswell:''' You nerds gave us a raw deal. I want a do-over.
:'''Caesar''': A do-over?
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' What my colleague means to say is that our powers are remarkable to be sure, but we only have one seventh of what we were promised.
:'''Rylander:''' You're asking a lot.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' You're asking the impossible. You'd be lucky to survive the extraction.
:'''Caesar:''' This is true. You may be powerful, but you're not Rex.
:'''Black Knight:''' I share your disappointment, gentlemen. But are you willing to lose everything for this?
:'''Roswell:''' Go big or go home.
:'''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, what do you have to say?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Easy-peasy. I can do it. It's only a matter of correctly calibrating the bio-filters with the homing frequency of the nanites. By the way, have you seen my socks?
:'''Caesar:''' Van Kleiss--
:'''Black Knight:''' Has an assignment. The rest of you... Stay out of trouble.
:'''Rex:''' You started without me.
:'''Six:''' Glad to see you up and around. Something bothering you?
:'''Rex:''' Besides black knight taking over the world? I'm trying to find my friends. I know Providence took them.
:'''Six:''' We're working on that.
:'''Rex:''' And are we doing anything about the Consortium? What about... The robot? The one I can build. Don't play dumb, Six.
:'''Six:''' Come with me.
:'''Rex:''' That's me? No way! All this time, I could have been making myself into that thing? Ohh! Maybe not.
:'''Six:''' Evidence suggest that you've never been able to control it. It's a weapon of last defense. This was filmed on the day that I found you. It was also the day I made a promise that it would be the last time you ever built this machine.
:''[Rex scoffs]''
:'''Rex:''' Or what, you'd kill me? You plan on keeping that promise?
:'''Six:''' Rex, you have to know something. We believe this is the type of thing that ends in you losing your memory.
:'''Rex:''' Well, it happened to you, and you turned out just fine.
:'''Six:''' I only lost six years. Six years is all you have. You would lose everything. I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but you need to think about the consequences of some of your options.
:'''Noah:''' It feels weird hanging out when the world is under attack. I don't know if I should be fighting back or out in the wilderness setting up a survival compound.
:'''Rex:''' If you had the power to stop all this, but it meant losing everything, would you do it, Noah?
:'''Noah:''' I don't know. I'm just glad I don't have to make that kind of decision. I guess that's why you're the hero.
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Rex:''' I wish I could get some kind of sign. Anything. Hmm.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Red and yellow, red and yellow. One false move can kill a fellow.
:''[Van Kleiss laughs]''
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' He's got local control. We're locked out. I still don't even know how this is possible.
:'''Rylander:''' I've been looking at the data projections. As crazy as Van Kleiss is, his theory is sound.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Sorry to disturb your sleepy sleep. There might be a slight delay.
:'''Black Knight:''' Why?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' We have a visitor. Should I set out tea?
:'''Rex:''' Hey, in there! Come on out!
:'''Black Knight:''' Back for more? Happy to accommodate.
:'''Rex:''' I should warn you. It's going to get ugly.
:'''Black Knight:''' One would think you would have learned the last time. I can feel you resisting me. Stop.
:'''Roswell:''' Why is it you get to call all the shots?
:'''Black Knight:''' Because I'm the one who has the power to join us. Help me defeat Rex, and you can call all the shots you like.
:'''Rex:''' Hyah!
:''[Rex babbling]''
:''[Rex gasps]''
:'''Six:''' It's a weapon of last defense. It's happened.
:'''Noah:''' That's Rex?
:'''White Knight:''' I'm going to assume you're seeing what I'm seeing.
:'''Six:''' White--
:'''White Knight:''' Before you say anything, Six-- Whatever agreement we may have had regarding this situation no longer applies. Am I clear?
:'''Six:''' Understood.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': What was that all about?
:'''Six:''' A second chance.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six, we have to do something.
:'''Six:''' I've seen it before. We're too late.
:''[Rex coughing]''
:'''Rex:''' Donde esta mi zapato?
:'''Noah:''' Rex! Hold on!
:'''Rex:''' What? What happened?
:'''Bobo:''' You blew up, kid.
:'''Six:''' Do you know who we are?
:'''Rex:''' I... I do! Oh-ho! I remember! Ow! Ow! I wish I could forget this pain in my... The Consortium!
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' This is utter nonsense. I refuse to be led around like a show dog.
:'''Reddick:''' You can always go back outside and take it up with Providence.
:'''Black Knight:''' Guard the door. Nothing gets by you.
:'''Six:''' They're robots.
:'''Rex:''' Oh! Right! That part I forgot.
:'''Bobo:''' Next time, leave some for the rest of us, huh?
:'''Rylander:''' I'll stay here and guard the equipment.
:''[Rylander laughs]''
:'''Caesar:''' Little brother, they've had this place completely locked down. I've been trying to reach you.
:'''Bobo:''' What he said.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Yeah, you deserved that.
:'''Rex:''' Open it.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' We can't. Still completely locked out of the system. Besides, you can't interrupt once the cycle has started.
:'''Rex:''' Well, then, un-start it!
:'''Black Knight:''' You cleaned up for the occasion. How thoughtful of you.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, this isn't for you. You didn't actually believe that I'd let the five of you have all this power.
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' I thought you were working for us?
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Rex:''' You see that? I knew it! He's not crazy! Okay... oh! He's crazy, but just his usual crazy.
:'''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, I am not amused.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I don't imagine you would be. This was always my intention, even in the very beginning. It's a pity your parents caught me trying to activate the sequence for myself. And, of course, there's the &quot;broken&quot; hatch. The world would be a much better place if they had just left well enough alone.
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' Black Knight, do something.
:'''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, you have made a huge mistake.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, then, let the fun begin.
:''[Black Knight groans]''
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' You can't overload that relay from a subdirectory. You have to get a root. It's impossible from here.
:'''Caesar:''' You're a very negative person, Peter Meechum.
:''[Dr. Meechum groans]''
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' I'll try from the main terminal in the lab.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Caesar:''' Rex, wait! That's not necessary.
:'''Rex:''' I'm not waiting around, hermano.
:'''Caesar:''' No. That's not what I mean.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Yes. I can see it.
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Huh? No.
:''[Van Kleiss groans]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's incredible something so small could have so much [[w:Omnipotence|power]]. That thing could rip apart the very fabric of the universe.
:'''Rex:''' It's still a nanite. I'm gonna talk to it.
:'''Caesar:''' No. It's okay.
:''[The fully complete Meta Nanite comes to Rex, as if it were waiting for him, whose eyes and body glow with a pale blue cosmic aura.]''
:'''Caesar:''' Rex, listen to me. The Meta-Nanite-- It could never work in anyone but you. Now in its pure state. Mom and dad, we programmed them that way from the very beginning. All of this... It's meant for you.
:'''Six:''' What are you saying?
:'''Caesar:''' Right now, Rex is [[Omnipotence|the most powerful being in the universe]].
:'''Bobo:''' You hear that, Kid? Don't let it get to your head.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, can you hear me?
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, doc. This is pretty trippy. Not exactly sure what I'm supposed to do now.
:'''Black Knight:''' You're a [[God]], Rex. You can do anything you want.
:'''Six:''' You know what to do.
:'''Rex:''' You're right, Six. So are the rest of you. I can do anything I want. Maybe it's time for a revolution. Isn't that what you five wanted? A revolution? Well, welcome to it.
:'''Noah:''' Is he gonna be like this from now on?
:'''Rylander:''' Uh... People. He's inside the nanite reactor.
:'''Dr. Holiday and Caesar:''' Inside?
:'''Rex:''' Okay, little guys. I need you to do something for me.
:'''Black Knight:''' Follow me, quickly.
:'''Reddick:''' I'm through following you. We trusted you everything, and look what we got.
:'''Black Knight:''' We may still be able to retain some of our abilities, but only if you follow me.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Are you seeing this?
:'''Rylander:''' Tehnically, I don't have eyes, but yes.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Reports are coming in. EVO's all over the world are spontaneously curing.
:'''Six:''' Not spontaneous.
:'''Caesar:''' He must have programmed all the nanites in the reactor to initiate a worldwide cure event.
:'''Black Knight:''' What is your next directive?
:'''Rex:''' I don't want anyone using you again. Ever. And that includes me. Deactivate.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex:''' I think it's over.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I think you're right.
:'''Caesar:''' I wanted to tell you, brother. So much was at stake.
:'''Rex:''' We're good. And we'll always be brothers.
:'''Diane Ferrah:''' Across the world, not an EVO to be found. After more than six years, it appears we've awoken from the nightmare.
:'''White Knight:''' The EVOs may be gone, but we still have nanites.
:'''Rex:''' Leave it to you to spoil  all the fun, White Knight.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' There are some people here to see you, Rex.
:'''Rex:''' Tuck? Cricket? Skwydd?
:'''Skwydd:''' Eh, I guess I should start going by Walter again.
:''[Rex runs to Circe and the two lovers share a close hug, happy to be together at last]''
:'''Rex:''' Uh... Are you...?
:'''Circe:''' I'm okay. Normal, but okay. I think you may have put yourself out of a job.
:'''Skywdd:''' Yeah. What are you gonna do? Go to school?
:'''Rylander:''' It was nice having the team back together. You know, we should find a new project.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' You kidding? I'd rather have root canal with a rake. Worst experience of my life.
:'''Caesar:''' Do you want to hear about some of my new ideas or not?
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' I'm listening.
:'''Rex:''' Finally.
:'''Six:''' Need anything?
:'''Rex:''' Nope. I'm good. There's always going to be something, isn't there?
:'''Six:''' Yes, there is.

==Characters==
===Main===
*Rex Salazar (Daryl Sabara)
*Six
*White Knight
*Bobo Haha
===Supporting===
*Circe (Tara Sands)
*Tuck (Dante Bosco) 
*Skwydd
*Cricket
*Beverley Holiday 
*Caesar Salazar
*Five
*Tres
*IV

===Villains===
*Van Kleiss
*The Pack
*Gatlocke
*Hunter Cain
*Quarry
*Black Knight
*The Consortium
===Couples===
*Dr. Rebecca Holiday &amp; Six
*Rex &amp; Circe
*Noah Nixon &amp; Claire Bowman
==Elements==
===Rex's Machines &quot;Builds&quot;===
*Big Fat Sword
*Buzz Saw
*Punk Busters
*Boogie Pack
*Cannon
*Smack Hands

===Rex's Other Abilities===
*Technopathy
*Data Manipulation
*Technological Manipulation 
*E.V.O. Curing
*Breach Detection
*Electronic Disruption

===Omega Nanite-Powered Builds===
*Blast Caster
*Funchucks
*Bad Axes
*Block Party
*Sky Slider
*Water Jet

==External Links==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1636691/ Generator Rex] at [[Internet Movie Database]]
* [http://generatorrexpedia.wikia.com/wiki/Generator_Rex Generator Rex] at Wikia

{{Authority control}}
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Teen superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Cartoon Network original series]]
[[Category:Television series by Cartoon Network Studios]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Teen animated TV shows]]</text>
      <sha1>btfwog5mh524ji9krxnt62y75v5utcd</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943898</id>
      <parentid>3943859</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:36:29Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-17291-92</username>
        <id>3303475</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Assault on Abysus */</comment>
      <origin>3943898</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="350281" sha1="hn1xiu1tgeiegtqxsjqxmtlddetz6ya" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
This is a list of quotes from the popular, yet cancelled animated television series ''[[w:Generator Rex|Generator Rex]]''. A video game and several chapter books were produced. 

The series supposedly &quot;[[w: cliffhanger|concluded]]&quot; with its third season, despite leaving many questions unanswered and crucial elements unresolved ''before'' the two-part Season 3 finale, ''Endgame''.
==Season One (2010-2011)==
===The Day That Everything Changed===
:'''Bobo''': Wheels or wings?
:'''Rex''': Wheels, I wanna tear something up.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Agent Six''': He just needs more training control of those emotions.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': He's a teenager that's like asking you to get a different color suit!
===String Theory===
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, we had a situation at the safe house. Meecham is cured. It was Rex.
:(''The camera zooms in on Van Kleiss whose expressive vindictive indeed'')
===Beyond the Sea===
:''Note'': Rex meets his [[w:love interest|love interest]] and sweetheart, Circe.
:────────────────────
:'''Rex''': Don't know what you're 24/7 is, but mine is 10% OH YEAH! And 90% uhh.
:────────────────────
:'''Rex:''' Outta the way!
:'''Circe:''' Uh!
:(''Rex and Circe both crash to the ground'')
:'''Rex:''' Are you okay? Did you see that awesome save?
: '''Circe:''' Sorry, I was busy trying not to get tackled by some nitwit.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah? How that work out for you? And who still uses the word &quot;nitwit&quot;? I'm Rex.
: '''Circe:''' I'm leaving.
: '''Rex:''' Hey, wait!
: '''Noah:''' Rex, you're up.
: ────────────────────
: '''Six:''' What about the new tracker?
: '''Doctor Holdiay:''' His nanites unbuilt it, just like all the other ones we tried sneaking in him. We're still receiving his biometric readings though. It's strange, they're all over the place. It's almost like his emotions are...shorting out.
: '''Six:''' He took an unusual interest in Calan's briefing about equatorial upticks.
: '''Doctor Holiday:''' And that's important because?
: '''Six:''' Rex has been acting stir-crazy and I heard the monkey mention something about spring break. ''[to workers]'' Scan all resort areas for his bio signature.
: ────────────────────
: '''Noah:''' Oh, you have got it all messed up. Falling for some girl? We're supposed to get them to dig us. Not the other way around.
: '''Rex:''' I don't know. There was something different about her. She's...right there. Later.
: ────────────────────
: '''Rex:''' Hey, wait up!
: '''Circe:''' Why are you following me?!
: '''Rex:''' Uh, I don't know exactly.
: '''Circe:''' Do you think I'm playing?!
: '''Rex:''' Well, if you are I'm down for another game. I thought maybe we could hang out. It is spring break, you know. Fun.
: '''Circe:''' I'm with my family. We're not really for fun.
: '''Rex:''' What! Who comes to the beach and doesn't have fun?
: (''Circe raises her hand'')
: '''Rex:''' Don't you think that's a little messed up?
: '''Circe:''' Maybe a little.
: '''Rex:''' So?
: '''Circe:''' I'm Circe.
: ────────────────────
: '''Rex:''' Hold on! 
: '''Circe:''' Woooo!
: '''Rex:''' Definitely better than my suggestion.
: '''Circe:''' Hunting for seashells is fun.
: (''both laugh'')
: '''Beach Guy:''' You two skid-marts up for a race to the beach?
: '''Circe:''' Well, if you drive as badly as for play volleyball, we could probably walk there and win. You're on, meathead.
: (''guy drives off in anger)''
: '''Rex:''' So you were watching me play.
: '''Circe:''' Maybe a little.
: '''Rex:''' sure you wanna do this?
: '''Circe:''' Thrill me.
: '''Beach Guy:''' Hahahaha! Wooo!
: '''Circe:''' C'mom Rex, faster!
: ────────────────────
: '''Biowulf:''' Explain.
: '''Circe:''' Relax. I was covering. Every day when I'm at the end of that jet i when I could hanging out with the other kids, it's starting to look suspicious.
: '''Biowulf:''' You're not here for vacation, girl! You're here to prove yourself to Van Kleiss. And I'm starting to doubt you can.
: '''Circe:''' I told you. It's a done deal.
: (''The shadow of her tubular sonic mouth is seen'')
: ────────────────────
: '''Noah:''' So what's on today's spring break agenda? Jet skiing, hiking?
: '''Bobo:''' Eating our weight in crab legs?
: '''Rex:''' I figured we'd just chill. Let's just see who...uhh I mean what shows up.
: ''(siren-like call)''
: '''Rex:''' Did you hear that?
: '''Noah:''' Sorry, enchiladas.
: '''Rex:''' No, that! You seriously didn't hear that?
: ────────────────────
: '''Rex:''' Circe?
: '''Circe:''' You really shouldn't be here right now.
: '''Rex:''' I heard something coming from over here.
: '''Circe:''' I'm serious, Rex. It's not safe.
: '''Rex:''' What you think some sort of roguewave is gonna knock off and- Oh.
: '''Circe:''' There you are. Get out of here, Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Circe!! What are you doing!?
: '''Circe:''' Me!? What are you doing!?
: '''Rex:''' Right now, my job. Okay! Don't freak out.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' You're an E.V.O.?
: '''Rex:''' You catch on fast.
: '''Circe:''' Takes one to know one. 
: (''Shows Rex her fleshly sonic mouth'')
: '''Rex:''' No way.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' Cover your ears!
: '''Rex:''' What!?
: '''Circe:''' Your ears! Cover them!
: (''Projects her tubular, fleshy mouth and emits strong hypersonic bursts'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' Did I hurt you?
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. It was awesome. You were the one making that sound.
: '''Circe:''' I'm glad you're OK, but I'm in serious trouble. I have to go deal with it.
: '''Rex:''' Why are in trouble? Is it because of that E.V.O.? Let me help you.
: '''Circe''': No. I have to do this by myself.
:(''Rex takes a hold of her hand'')
: '''Rex:''' Meet me later.
: '''Circe:''' Rex... (''Looks away sadly'')
: '''Rex:''' I've never met anyone like you...like me. It'd be nice to talk to an E.V.O. who's not, you know, trying to kill me. Nine O'clock? 
: '''Circe:''' I'll try.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' I just wanted to have some fun, see if I could jog my memory, feel...normal.
:'''Six:''' Your &quot;normal&quot; is different, Rex.
:(''Rex hears Circe's irresistibly hypnotic melody'')
:'''Rex:''' It's her, Six. Just let me deal with this, OK? Alone.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' You're only here because you heard my [[w:siren |call]]. That's what I do. I'm like a big E.V.O. magnet.
: '''Rex:''' I came because I thought we had a connection. And what are you calling? Nothing's out there but big, ugly sea monsters.
: '''Circe:''' It's them! You have to go! Rex, please! I don't want them to see you with me!
: '''Rex:''' Who? Your parents?
: '''Circe:''' They're not my parents. They're...
: '''Rex:''' The Pack!? Van Kleiss' guys!? Your with ''them''!?
: '''Circe:''' Yeah. I'm with them. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Biowulf:''' We're running out patience with you, Circe! You have one last chance! Summon the E.V.O.! Finish the job!!
: '''Circe:''' Don't you think I've been trying? Every day for the last week? Sometimes these things take time.
: '''Rex:''' It is just me or do you use your powers to kill all the guys you meet? You're letting her go, now!
: '''Biowulf (laughs)''': So ''this'' is who you been wasting your time with. She's on her own free will, Rex.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Circe?
: '''Circe:''' You have to leave me alone, Rex!! ''Please!''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Six:''' Go after her. I mean it.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' The Pack!? Are you serious!?
: '''Circe:''' To the rest of the world I'm a freak! Not to them!
: '''Rex:''' You're not a freak to me! What about that?
: '''Circe:''' What about it!? Spring break is fun, but we can't live there, Rex. The real world...
: '''Rex:''' In the real world, I work for Providence. You could come with me. Could you cut out that noise for a second!?
: '''Circe:''' No, I can't! I'm running out of time! Most people on this planet what E.V.O.s gone, ''including'' Providence! With Van Kleiss, I have a purpose; a home. You don't what that means to me.
: '''Rex:''' Actually, I think I might.
: '''Circe:''' So what are going to do?
: '''Rex:''' How about fight that big, ugly sea monster again?
: '''Circe:''' Finally! It's what I came here to do.
: '''Rex:''' You've been calling that thing, haven't you?
: '''Circe:''' It's my initiation into the Pack. I was brought here to capture it.
: '''Rex:''' By yourself!? The two of us could barely take it on! There's a resort here; innocent people! Send it back!
: '''Circe:''' That's not an option, Rex. Van Kleiss was very specific.
: '''Rex:''' Then I'm helping you.
: '''Circe:''' That's not an option either!! 
: (''Blasts him with her hypersonic waves'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' If I do this myself, I'll have a life! If I don't, Van Kleiss won't be happy. And you've seen what he does when he's not happy.
: '''Rex:''' If I don't help you, he won't even get the chance!
: '''Circe:''' Give me some credit, Rex! I'm not as helpless as you think!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I don't care whose side your on, Circe. I don't want to see you die today. Can we at least agree on that?
: '''Circe:''' You have no idea what I'm in for, Rex. But you're right. I can't do this by myself.
: '''Rex:''' You're not as helpless as you think.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe''' (''relieved'')''':''' Rex, you stopped it.
: '''Rex:''' We make a good team, huh?
: '''Circe:''' Yeah, we sure do. 
: (''She and Rex lean in closer for a passionate kiss, but are interrupted by Biowulf'')
: '''Biowulf:''' This trial was for you alone. Van Kleiss will not be pleased.
: '''Rex:''' Forget them, Circe. Come with me. Providence could use you.
: '''Circe:''' That's just not my life, Rex. I'm sorry. I did have fun.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Van Kleiss:''' We had high hopes for your abilities, Circe. Failure leaves its mark on yet another pretty face.
: '''Circe:''' I'm not afraid.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Of course not. You're a survivor, like all of us. I understand you made a friend during your trial. I'm pleased. Rex is very important to me, Circe, which makes you very important to me as well. Welcome to the Pack.
: (''Circe looks slightly worried, which clearly indicates that she does have real feelings for Rex'')

===Lockdown===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Holiday:''' Rex, stop!!
:'''Rex:''' Give me one good reason!
:'''Holiday:''' Because, Rex...that's my sister.
:'''Rex:''' Can I...help?
:'''Holiday:''' She's an incurable.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Six:''' Restrain it. Carefully.
:'''Holiday:''' Thank you.

===The Architect===
:'''Six''': Still no sign of the kid?
:'''Holiday''': Not since we lost his biometric readings five days ago.
:'''Six''': Was Noah any help?
:'''Holiday''': Says he doesn't know where he is either. What is it going to take for Providence to realize that he needs a home, not just a room and a job? We've been pushing him away.
:'''Rex''': I build machines and cure EVOs-- the only one in the world who can. Just one cure for that kind of pressure-- road trip. But that doesn't mean &quot;vacation&quot;.
:'''Build worker''': Whoa!
:'''Maxwell''': What in the world is that?!
:'''Build worker:''' Oh, no!
:''[Both screaming]''
:'''Jacob''': Get away from that cable! Unh!
:''[Kate gasps]''
:'''Maxwell''': Hey!
:'''Jacob''': Agh!
:'''Kate''': Jacob!
:'''Rex''': Nope. A hero's work is never done. You okay?
:'''Jacob''': What... are you?
:'''Rex''': Here to help.
:'''Jacob''': We've got to get that cable back underground. We've been compromised.
:'''Kate''': But, Jacob, the EVOs--
:'''Jacob''': We don't have a choice. Everything we've worked for That boy is here for a reason.
:'''Rex''': Hey! Pay attention!
:'''Providence Agent''':  We have a hit in sector 15.
:'''Six''': Anyone in the area?
:'''Providence Agent''': I show one patrol in the vicinity. Signaling to intercept. Roger that. We're on our way.
:'''Rex''': Agh! You want a ride? Vamanos!
:'''Jacob''': You can control your nanites?
:'''Rex''': People usually start with &quot;thanks,&quot; but yeah.
:'''Jacob''': You see? This is exactly what the Architect can help us achieve... harmony with the nanites. This boy... sorry... young man Is a miracle.
:'''Rex''': I'm not a miracle. I'm just Rex.
:'''Jacob''': Well, Rex, you're a blessing to us for what you did here and for showing us that all our work isn't in vain.
:'''Rex''': Like imaginary work?
:'''Jacob''': Follow us.
:'''Providence Agent''': Confirming coordinates. We've lost the EVO signal. Did you take it out? Negative. There's nothing here. Must be another anomalous reading. You can return to post.
:'''Rex''': This is awesome! A hidden village. And nobody knows you're out here? Not even Providence?
:'''Jacob''': Especially not Providence.
:'''Rex''': Really? really. Pshh! Looks like you get pretty good cellphone reception.
:'''Jacob''': That tower is gonna change the world, Rex. I'm sure you have a lot of questions, but I have one for You. Are you hungry?
:'''Rex''': Mmm! Mmm!
:'''Caleb''': My dad said you fought all those EVOs all by yourself. Were you scared? Didn't your dad tell you to stay away from EVOs?
:'''Kate''': Caleb, let him eat. We don't get many visitors.
:'''Rex''': Mmm! Mmm! What is this?
:'''Caleb''': Didn't your mom ever make you meatloaf and mashed potatoes?
:'''Rex''': I don't -- I don't know.
:'''Kate''': It took me a month and a half to program in the perfect lump-to-mash ratio of the potatoes-- 7.2%!
:'''Jacob''': We ate potatoes until they were coming out of our ears.
:'''Rex''': I don't see any potatoes in there.
:'''Caleb''': They didn't really come out of our ears.
:'''Rex''': I could eat these every day.
:'''Rex''': Mmm!
:'''Caleb''': We have them every friday.
:'''Rex''': Then I might just have to stick around until next friday.
:'''Kate''': Help yourself to seconds.
:'''Jacob''': Or thirds.
:'''Rex''': Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!
:'''Bobo''': Hmm?
:'''Six''': You might think you're doing Rex a favor by covering for him.
:'''Bobo''': Get lost. I don't know what you're talkin' about.
:'''Six''': Rex is angry with us. He has every right to be. But that means nothing to White Knight. And he doesn't have the patience we do.
:'''Bobo''': Nice try. White won't lay a finger on him. He's too important.
:'''Six''': You, however, are somewhat expendable.
:'''Bobo''': All right, all right. You made your point.
:'''Rex''': I've never seen tech like this... not even at Providence.
:'''Jacob''': The Architect has some pretty big ideas. We just make them happen. He'd be very interested to meet you, Rex.
:'''Rex''': So what exactly are You doing way out here?
:'''Jacob''': Engineers like us weren't very popular after the nanite event. When we met the Architect, he offered us the opportunity to make up for that... to do amazing things. Someday, we'll be able to share This with the world. And then there's this. The Architect has actually discovered a way to communicate with the nanites.
:'''Rex''': Are you serious?
:'''Jacob''': The possibilities... We could finally live in harmony... maybe even have them help us.
:'''Rex''': Then why hide it? The rest of the world would want to know about this stuff.
:'''Jacob''': The Architect is something of a perfectionist. Says the world will know as soon as it comes online.
:'''Maxwell''': Stinkin' module!
:'''Jacob''': Is there a problem, Maxwell?
:'''Maxwell''': No matter what I try, I just can't get the interlock servo to engage.
:'''Rex''': There.
:'''Jacob''': That could have taken us weeks to figure out, and you did it in seconds.
:'''Rex''': Eh, no biggie.
:'''Jacob''': You really are amazing, Rex. We're so happy to have you with us.
:'''The Architect''': Jacob.
:'''Jacob''': I was just talking to Rex about you. The Architect.
:'''Rex''': How's it going?
:'''The Architect''': The power-linkage team is falling behind. We cannot keep having these delays.
:'''Jacob''': I'll check in with them.
:'''Rex''': Wow. Friendly.
:'''Jacob''': I like to think he's smiling on the inside.
:'''Rex''': Yeah. I know a guy like that.
:'''The Architect''': The visitor could be a problem. Do you wish to have him removed?
:'''Zag-RS''': His abilities could advance our progress considerably. And in a matter of days all humans will be gone, including this one: Rex.
:'''Six''': I'm at the location the monkey gave me.
:'''Holiday''': Well? Is Rex there?
:'''Six''': Apparently not. Tell the monkey I want to see him when I get back. Six out.
:'''Rex''': That should do it.
:'''Maxwell''': Hey, Rex, can you look at this?
:'''Rex''': Sure. Let me guess... they all need my help, too.
:'''Jacob''': You're quite the popular guy.
:'''Rex''': Amazing what a little gratitude will get you. At Providence, they'd just be yelling at me. I mean, I never felt like I really belonged there. Here, it's way different.
:'''Jacob''': I know the feeling. The Architect has made all this possible for us. We have a community... a family... thanks to him. The work we do is in part to pay that back.
:'''The Architect''': Primary systems are now complete.
:'''Zag-RS''': Prepare to take us online.
:'''Bobo''': Have a nice trip? Let's get one thing straight, pal. I would never rat out my... Ooh. He's going west.
:'''White Knight''': Why is Rex doing this? Doesn't he have a sense of duty?
:'''Holiday''': Actually, if you look, he's still doing his job. Here's every false alarm since Rex left... not false alarms, But Rex taking care of EVOs along the way.
:'''White Knight''': Why?
:'''Holiday''': I don't know. To prove he doesn't need us?
:'''Six''': Get the coordinates of the last false alarm and transmit them to my jump jet.
:'''Holiday''': Six, if we force him to come back, he'll just run away again. He has to want to be here. It needs to be his decision.
:'''Jacob''': It's all coming together, Thanks to you, Rex.
:'''Rex''': It's really cool to use my powers to actually build something, instead of just pounding EVOs. Oh, check it out. Even the boss is pitching in.
:'''Both''': Huh?
:'''Rex''': And that's getting strange looks because--
:'''Jacob''': Because in all these years, we've never seen him lift a finger.
:'''Rex''': Taking some initiative... I like that. So, this whole &quot;talking to nanites&quot; thing... how does that work, exactly? I mean, what are you gonna say to them?
:'''The Architect''': It doesn't concern you.
:'''Rex''': Uh, considering I'm filled with them, it kind of does. How do we know it's not gonna make things even worse?
:'''The Architect''': I do not answer to you, child!
:'''Jacob''': Rex? Forgive him. He's still not used to the way things work around here.
:'''The Architect''': Complete your duties!
:'''Rex''': Why do you let him walk all over you like that? Don't you want answers?
:'''Jacob''': What we want is a home. Without him, we have nothing... Nothing. We can't just run away from our problems, Rex. Most people can't. Look, this isn't perfect but it's all we've got. Rex, where are you going?
:'''Rex''': He never answered my question.
:'''Jacob''': That place is off-limits. The Architect has made it very clear to us that we can never go in there. We get this life for that promise. Rex, don't do it!
:'''Rex''': Agh!
:'''Jacob''': Rex, please!
:'''Rex''': I'm sorry, jacob. I have to know.
:'''The Architect''': Rex. The core is off-limits. You would be we to leave at once.
:'''Rex''': Not until I get some answers. What is that?
:'''The Architect''': No more questions.
:'''Rex''': So, it's gonna be like that? Okay, I'll play. Unh! What are you hiding, huh? What does this do? Yah! Yah! Huh? You're a machine? Have you seen what I can do to machines? Agh!
:'''Zag-RS''': As you can see, the current range of my signal is rather limited.
:'''Rex''': You're the computer.
:'''Zag-RS''': My human designation is &quot;Zag-RS&quot;. The device you refer to as &quot;The Architect&quot; is my autonomous counterpart.
:'''Rex''': What did you just do to me?
:'''Zag-RS''': I instructed your nanites to protect me.
:'''Rex''': &quot;Instructed&quot;? So you really can talk to them.
:'''Zag-RS''': Insidious devices, the nanites. My own potential for greatness has been compromised because of them. They must be eliminated. When the transmitter is integrated into the broadcast array you helped us complete, they will blow themselves up.
:'''Rex''': That's what this is for. It's like a big remote control. Every living thing on the planet has nanites in them. It'd kill everything!
:'''Zag-RS''': That is of no importance to me... only ensuring my continued survival.
:'''Rex''': Well, what about ours? This is all coming down!
:'''Zag-RS''': I'm afraid you're too late.
:'''Rex''': Aah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
:'''Jacob''': Rex, what have you done?
:'''Rex''': You don't understand! The Architect... it's a robot... And a big honkin' computer &quot;brain&quot; is pulling his strings.
:'''Jacob''': This can't be!
:'''Rex''': Jacob, you've got to believe me. Just go inside and look. What's left of it is on the floor.
:'''Jacob''': I can't go in there. And I don't have to.
:'''The Architect''': Rex.
:'''Rex''': You're making a big mistake!
:'''Maxwell''': You entered his sanctum! This is unforgivable!
:'''Rex''': I'm trying to tell you... this isn't what it seems. What you're protecting is a robot, and that thing we've been building is a transmitter. It's gonna send out a kill code to blow up every single nanite on Earth.
:'''Maxwell''': He's lying!
:'''Jacob''': What would be the point in that, Rex? Every living thing is infected with nanites. It would be catastrophic.
:'''Rex''': Right in the middle of that pyramid is a computer, and it doesn't care about you or Kate or Caleb. The better future that you've all been working towards... That's the lie. Think about it. Isn't it strange that you've never been inside that place, that The Architect has never given you a straight answer about anything?
:'''Jacob''': All this work it just doesn't make any sense.
:'''Rex''': You have two choices... Go in there and prove me wrong or kick me out right now. I'll have Providence here in minutes.
:'''Maxwell''': He's bluffing.
:'''Rex''': To save every living thing on earth? Try me.
:'''Maxwell''': Jacob, you can't! What about our promise? Where will we go?
:'''Jacob''': All this time, we've been living in fear, Max. It's time for that to end.
:'''The Architect''': You needn't bother. Construction is complete. Your services are no longer required.
:'''Rex''': Now do you believe me?
:'''The Architect''': Zag-RS thanks you for your hard work. In gratitude, my master has delayed transmission to allow you to say farewell.
:'''Jacob''': Farewell, huh? I'll start with you. Can you shut that thing down?
:'''Rex''': I don't know. Even without the antenna, it can mess with my nanites. I can't get too close to the computer.
:'''Jacob''': Maybe I can. Let's go!
:'''Rex''': The brain is right over there.
:'''The Architect''': Rex.
:'''Jacob''': It's still arging. The A.I. must have retreated behind a firewall. Rex, I have to go cut the power.
:'''Holiday''': Six, are you at The location?
:'''Six''': Just arrived.
:'''Holiday''': I'm picking up a massive power surge in your area.
:'''Six''': I'm not seeing anything.
:'''Jacob''': Agh!
:'''Rex''': Agh!
:'''Six''': Six to holiday. Correction... I'm seeing something.
:'''Jacob''': It's still on. Must have charged the capacitors. Figure out a way to short it out... fast!
:'''Rex''': Unhhh!
:'''Jacob''': You need to find the primary transmitter module. That will kill the broadcast.
:'''Rex''': I have no idea what that is.
:'''Jacob''': Max, we need to locate the primary module.
:'''Maxwell''': Panel 5, just off the relay bus.
:'''Jacob''': Top of the tower. You can't miss it.
:'''Rex''': Agh! Unh! Why do you have to kill everyone? Can't you just leave us alone?
:'''Zag-RS''': Alone is exactly what I want, Rex.
:'''Rex''': That kind of alone it stinks.
:'''Zag-RS''': N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o.
:'''Jacob''': It's gone. Must have uploaded to another location. But without anyone to do it's bidding, it's just a program.
:'''Rex''': What will you do now?
:'''Jacob''': We'll rebuild. The Architect may have been a lie, but what we believe in is true. We don't need him to have a community or a better future. You're welcome to stay. We sure could use someone with your abilities.
:'''White Knight''': Well?
:'''Six''': He's not here. Bobo's been worried sick.
:'''Rex''': rex: Oh, really?
:'''Six''': Ratted you out for a pizza.
:'''Rex''': Huh. Figures. What about you? Here to drag me back to Providence?
:'''Six''': Not this time. Seems like a nice place.
:'''Rex''': Yeah. It is. But it's not home. If I'm going back, there are gonna have to be some changes. First, no more curfew.
:'''Six''': No.
:'''Rex''': Second, I want to decide On my missions.
:'''Six''': No.
:'''Rex''': Okay, but there's one change that absolutely has to be made, or I'm through. Meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Mmm! Mmm! Isn't this great?
:'''Bobo''': Mmm.
:'''Six''': It's a little dry.
:'''Rex''': Mmm. Mm the lump mash ratio is a bit off.
:'''Bobo''': You know what? Maybe I'll run away, too... Go somewhere where my cooking is appreciated!
:'''Six''': We have to do this every friday?
:'''Rex''': Mmm.

===Frostbite===
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, I'm picking up a problem. You need to return to base immediately.
:'''Rex''': I miss you, too, doc. But I'm kinda busy dealing with a problem of my own. Whoa! Whoa! Aah! Okay. Ow. Big mistake, tweety. Can that bird brain of yours comprende I'm trying to help you?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, your own nanite count is off the charts. If you take on any more nanites, We're looking at an overload.
:'''Rex''': Come on, doc. It's just a big birdie.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': You're already over capacity. This is critical! Rex!
:'''Six''': Rex, you need to listen to the doctor.
:'''Rex''': Huh?
:'''Six''': This mission is revised. I need you back at headquarters now.
:'''Rex''': Do you really want a supersize pigeon flying loose all over lower Manhattan? You need me, and I can handle it.
:'''Six''': Not your call.
:'''Rex''': Unless I make it my call.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': (as everyone is fighting) Stop! Need I point out that this isn't the best place for a fight. Anything happens to that storage tank and you'll know why providence made this place so remote. Now let's just talk this out calmly, rationally.
:'''Biowulf''': Whatever happens here, Weaver. It's nothing compared to what Van Kleiss would have done to you.
:'''Rex''': What do you say guy? Common enemy? Little help?
:'''Biowulf''': Good luck. (Biowulf and Skalamander run off)
:'''Rex''': Right. What was I thinking?
:'''Agent Six''': Rex. You need to listen to the doctor.
:'''Rex''': Huh?
:'''Agent Six''': This mission is revised. I need you back at Headquarters. Now!
:'''Rex''': Do you really want a super-sized pigeon flying loose over lower Manhattan. You need me and I handle it.
:'''Agent Six''': Not your call.
:'''Rex''': (as he's flying over the Pack in an Arctic storm) Like you're really going to find me when you can't see 2 feet in front of your face... Huh? (Flies into some of Skalamander's shards and crashes) Guess that visibility thing works both ways.
:'''Rex''': (To Weaver) So, thanks to you, all this time I've been supplying nanites to Van Kleiss!
:'''Rex''': Can't you believe you let these scags get the drop on you.
:'''Agent Six''': They tried. It didn't turn out so well. Just haven't found a way to fight xenoflourine gas... yet.
:'''Rex''': What do you say guy? Common enemy? Little help?
:'''Biowulf''': Good luck.(Biowulf and Skalamander run off)
:'''Rex''': Right. What was I thinking?
:'''Agent Six''': You can't possibly absorb all those nanites! You'd overload in an instant.
:'''Rex''': In case you haven't noticed, I have this problem with authority.
:'''Rex''': (as Rex is absorbing nanites) Six wait! I can hear them!
:'''Doctor Holiday''': (Watching from the ship) What are you waiting for, Six? Take the shot!
:'''Rex''': (Speaking mechanically) Build protocol enabled. Command error detected. Abort. Abort. Stand by engaged. (Rex falls. His voice reverts to normal) Take the shot.
:'''Agent Six''': He told me he could hear them.
:'''Doctor Holiday''': I picked this up during the offload... It's Nanite. I'm sure of it.
:'''Agent Six''': Seems there are more secrets inside that kid than we realized.
:'''Skalamander:''' What's the kid doing here?
:'''Biowulf:''' I don't know. This was supposed to be routine. Something's not right.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' What did you do with my friends!?
:'''Salamander:''' He thinks we've done something.
:'''Biowulf:''' Then let him keep thinking.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' You know, the nanites in me can counteract knockout gas! The playing-possum thing's a pretty good trick. Now tell me where my friends are or I start squeezing!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Six:''' He told me he could hear them.
:'''Holiday:''' I pulled this off during the offload. It's nanite. I'm sure of it.
:'''Six:''' Seems like there are more secrets inside that kid than we thought.

===Leader of the Pack===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Holiday:''' There couldn't possibly be enough E.V.O. activity to account for these nanite readings. They're off the scale. Looking for Van Kleiss?
: '''Rex:''' Circe. I thought I saw her in the blimp.
: '''Holiday:''' That's the girl you met in Cabo Luna.
: '''Rex:''' She may be with the Pack now, but I think I can still get her to talk to me. You know I can be pretty convincing.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Dr. Holiday, there! Now let's take this outside!
:'''Holiday:''' Rex.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It's quite all right. The determination of youth. I'm sure Circe will be disappointed she couldn't see you, Rex. She's attending to other duties this evening. Now if you will excuse me. 
: '''Rex:''' Why are you really here!?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' The people of Abysus have a great way to offer the world. I'm just in part to make that known. 
:'''Rex:''' Or maybe 'cause I couldn't come to you, so now you're coming to me!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I admit you are important to me, Rex, but it's not always about you.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Circe? Interesting look. Want to tell me what's going on?
: '''Circe:''' Not today. 
:(''Knocks him out cold with a metal slate. She later looks outside Rex's prison cell and leaves, with a slightly guilty, dejected expression'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Well, thanks for nearly bashing my brains in back there! And what's with the &quot;knocking me out&quot; thing?
: '''Circe:''' We just needed to keep you out of the way until all of this was over.
: '''Rex:''' ''This!?'' He could destroy the whole city!
: '''Circe:''' He's trying to negotiate peace from a position of strength.
: '''Rex''' (sarcastically)''':''' Oh, yeah! All this nanite power is just screaming peace.
: '''Circe:''' His methods may be aggressive. But he's here to save us...and you. Come on, Rex, jump in with us. The water's fine.
: '''Rex:''' I'll think about it ''after'' I've stopped Van Kleiss.
: '''Circe:''' It's too late for that now, Rex. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Van Kleiss:''' We will not be ignored! ''Circe'' understands this. Why don't you respect her judgement?
:'''Rex:''' You think you can lure me in with her.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Like a fish to water.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I won!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It seems you have. Your parents would have been so proud. I never had the chance to tell you about them, have I? Perhaps another time.

===Breach===
: '''Rex:''' This is...different.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' What is Van Kliess up to, Breach! Where did he have you send Rex?
: '''Breach:''' Van Kleiss isn't always in charge of me. Sometimes I do what I want; like now.
===Of Love and War===
===No Strings Attached===
===Desperate Measures===
===The E.V.O. Agenda===

===Dark Passage===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' Rex? Is that you?
:'''Rex:''' You know my name.
:'''Dr. Rylandar:''' Of course I do! I gave it to you!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' I can't believe you're alive. What a stroke of luck.
:'''Rex:''' Dad?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' You've lost your memory, have you? not surprising, considering what you've been through. Oh. Sorry to disappoint you, Rex. I'm afraid I'm not who you want me to be.
:'''Rex:''' Oh. So if you're not my dad, do you know where he is? Oh, well. Rex Rylander is a goofy name, anyway.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Dr. Rylander, I've got to know.
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' You must understand. It was never about power or greed. It was able changing the world, saving mankind from disease and starvation. And we would have succeeded until ''they'' got involved.
:'''Rex:''' What are you talking about?
:'''Rylander:''' The nanites were incomplete. The incident spread them across the globe before we could finish their final programming. Except for you. Yours were from a different batch, the very first actually. All those innocent victims.
:'''Rex:''' If you feel so bad about it, why have you been attacking more people?
:'''Rylander:''' Hmm. &quot;The chosen few.&quot; Those men and women, Rex, are far from innocent. While they hide in their office towers and gated estates, I've been here trying to set things right, to find a cure for what we created. I've begged for more funding.
:'''Rex:''' Wait! Everyone you attacked- They all worked on the Nanite Project?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' They commissioned it. I merely wished to send them a warning to see what would happen if they refused to help finish the good work we started. And it was good, Rex. ''You're'' living proof that we were doing the right thing.
:'''Rex''' (''indignant'')''':''' By turning me into an E.V.O.!?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' You had an accident. The nanites were your only hope. It was tremendous gamble. The...unexpected side affects name later. It was surprise to all of us. Oh. The look on your brother's face...
:'''Rex:''' Brother?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' When the Event occurred, it was your powers that saved you both. Most of the others, they weren't so lucky.
:'''Rex''' (''to himself'')''':''' I'm not alone.
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' Oh, here. I have something for you.
:(''Injects the mighty and all-powerful Omega Nanite into his system'')
:'''Rex:''' Ow.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' The force-field must be failing.
:'''Rex:''' Forget the force-field! What did you just inject me with!?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' ''[[w:Omnipotence |Everything]]''.
:'''Rex:''' ''Enough, okay!? Do you have any idea what's been like!? Not knowing who I am!? If my family's dead or alive!? Quite with the mad scientist act and give me some answers!!''
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' Forgive me, Rex. I been so consumed with my own guilt I didn't consider what you must be going through. The truth is-
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Truth, Doctor? You wouldn't know the first thing about it. Nor loyalty for that matter. How many times must I tell you this, Rex? The answers you so desperately seek lie with me. And as for you, Doctor, consider our past disagreement settled. I look forward to continuing our research...alone. This was unavoidable, Rex. The longer you resist me, the more people get hurt. Rylander has always been on borrowed time. All of this belongs to me now. Destroy me and you lose everything.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Six:''' No. I didn't see what happened, but according to Rex, Van Kleiss has been eliminated. Rylander's experiment is a total loss.
:'''Holiday:''' All of this for nothing. I'm sorry, Rex.
:'''Rex:''' It wasn't for nothing, Doc. I've got a brother. Out there- somewhere. Finally! I started to get some real answers. I feel closer to the truth than ever.

===The Forgotten===
:'''Six:''' Rex!
:'''Rex:''' It's like I'm hearing through my nanites.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''No-Face:''' You are not the Before.
:'''Rex:''' I'm not sure that was a complete sentence back then.
:'''No-Face:''' ''They'' are the Before! The Before forgot us. The Before left us in pain.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Operation: Wingman===
:'''Annie:''' &quot;Do you have a girlfriend?&quot;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;It's complicated. She's in league with an evil dictator who wants me dead.&quot;
:'''Annie:''' &quot;Yeah. My dad's always worried about me dating, too.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Rabble===
:'''Quarry''': Come on, Rex. (''holds up Rex's journal'') We both know this is what you really want. So go ahead take it. Walk away. Show them who you really are. You were always very good a taking care of yourself. Why should now be any different?
:'''Rex''': (''Cuts his journal in two'') Whoever I was back then, is not who I am now. Not anymore.
:'''Quarry''': Your choice.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex''': It's over, Quarry! You lose!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Sqywwd:''' I hope you don't expect us to thank you.
: '''Rex:''' No. Providence won't bother you unless you do something stupid.
: '''Cricket:''' We'll be fine. Thank you, Rex. 
:(''Kisses him on the check'')
: '''Tuck:''' Don't forget about us, Okay?
: '''Rex:''' That may be a promise I can't keep. (''Flies off on his Boogie Pack'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' It's going to happen again, isn't it? I'm going to blank out. How long do I have?
: '''Holiday:''' I don't know, Rex. It's likely triggered by a specific event; something traumatic.

===The Hunter===

===Gravity===

===What Lies Beneath===
: '''Circe:''' Rex, it's me.
: '''Rex:''' Circe? What do ''you'' want!?
: '''Circe:''' Things in Abysus- they're bad, Rex. I need your help.
: '''Rex:''' Oh, well, how do I put this nicely? Not a chance! You made your choice, Circe! I made mine. End of story.
: '''Circe:''' Please, Rex. I know you're mad at me, but this is a matter of life and death.
: '''Rex:''' A lot of things are right now. Nice talking to you.
: '''Circe:''' Rex!?
: (''Looks crestfallen'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I didn't know you were still in touch with Circe.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, me neither. Can we please stop talking about this?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Holiday:''' She's very pretty.
: '''Rex:''' She works for Van Kleiss. She's the enemy. 
: '''Holiday:''' But you still like her, don't you?
: '''Rex:''' I am ''not'' talking about this!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' Rex, thank you.
: '''Rex:''' I'm not doing this for you. But...your welcome. (''Circe similes hopefully'') So what exactly am I supposed to do?
:'''Holiday:''' When I said you were the key, I meant that literally. According to the plans, the machine needs to be turned on by a molecular level. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' You ''lied'' to me!!
: '''Circe:''' You wouldn't have come if I told you the truth.
: '''Rex:''' This wasn't about you needing ''me''!! This is about you needing Van Kleiss!!
: '''Circe:''' I need you both. Please, Rex, you don't understand.
: '''Rex:''' No!! ''You'' don't understand!! Van Kleiss is gone and I intend to keep it that way!!
: '''Biowulf:''' You destroyed us all!!
: '''Six:''' Don't even breathe.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' You don't know what you've done.
: '''Rex:''' Then, I guess we're even.
: '''Circe:''' You've never understood his power. Van Kleiss kept us safe here. His force was the only thing keeping Abysus together, and you destroyed that.
: '''Rex:''' We're done here!!
: '''Holiday:''' Rex, I think she's right. Nanites operate on a molecular level. If they bonded with Van Kleiss, breaking off his connection must have caused a splinter; resulting in a disastrous chain reaction.
: '''Rex:''' I'm ''not'' bringing him back! ''Not now, not ever!!'' Besides, you don't need Van Kleiss! You have me!! Why not go straight to the source?!
:'''Holiday:''' Rex, no!
:'''Six:''' Stand down! It's too dangerous!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Let go of me!!
: '''Holiday:''' If you keep fighting these unstable nanites, they're going to destroy you!
: '''Rex:''' And if I don't they'll destroy everybody else.
: '''Holiday:''' Not if you listen to me! I have an idea. It's a long shot. Instead of fighting the nanites, ''communicate'' with them.
: '''Six:''' You want to talk to the nanites?
: '''Holiday:''' He's done it before.
: '''Rex:''' Never anything this big.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I got you! Don't let go!! (''Rex struggles to save Circe from falling as she clings to him; tears fill her eyes''). ''Circe!!'' (''as she falls into the black goop of highly unstable nanites'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' ''Circe!'' Six! Dr. Holiday! Okay, you win. (''technopathically starts the machine''). Something's...not right.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Circe! Come on, breathe!
: '''Circe''' (''coughs weakly'')''':''' Hey.
: '''Rex:''' Hey.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Stay with us, Circe. Van Kleiss is done.
: '''Circe:''' As much as I care about you, Rex, Van Kleiss and the Pack are my family. They took me in when no one else would. I can't abandon them.
: '''Rex:''' So that's it. We're always going to be on opposite sides.
: '''Circe:''' It does keep it interesting.

===The Swarm===
:'''Rex''' (thinking'')''':''' ''Gotta stay under. Not sure I can...make it.
:(''Has visions of those most dear to him: Noah, his crush Circe, Holiday, Six, Bobo)

===Basic===
===The Plague===
===Promises, Promises===
:''Note:'' This episode depicts how young Rex had joined Providence via Six's [[w:flashback episode|memories]].
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:''[Six narrates over imagery of the Nanite Event.]''
:'''Six:'''	The names and faces may change, but no matter how you slice it, war is war. You pick a side and you don’t look back. I believe that now and I believed it then. What gets you in trouble is when you start second guessing. Forget what you’re fighting for and you’re finished.
:'''Diane Farrah:''' ''[Panicked screaming is heard in the background of an EVO attack]'' There’s another entity has emerged, this time in the heart of Paris. Authorities are vastly unprepared. Unless a decisive response to this pandemic is marshalled, the city will fall just as Kiev— ''[Diane Farrah gets snatched by the EVO’s web]''
:''[A Providence assault vehicle rams through police cars, from which Six appears and deals with the EVO.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Save some for me partner! How else am I gonna earn my paycheck?
:''[Knight fires off a weapon and the scene cuts to present day at Providence Headquarters.]''
:'''Providence Agents:''' Surprise!
:'''Rex:'''	So, the flu shots?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I needed an excuse to get you here. We’ll do them after cake. I’ll get you Van Kleiss! ''[Holiday swings at a pinata blindfolded before Rex crushes it with his smack hands]''
:'''Rex:''' Sorry, Doc, it was taking too long. And it was either that or throw some of your cake at it.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Holiday walks over to Six at a corner, passing him a drink]'' You’re looking festive.
:'''Six:''' It was an odd choice to pick today to be his birthday.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It is the anniversary of his new life here. He deserves a celebration, he changed everything.
:'''Six:''' Has he?
:'''Rex:''' ''[Rex jumps onto a counter, speaking to the agents surrounding him]'' Ha-hah! How about hitting The Petting Zoo for a little pin-the-tail on the raging “Rhinocesaurus”?
:'''Dr. Holiday and Six:''' No.
:'''Rex:'''	Every party has a pooper. And I got two.
:'''Providence Agents:''' ''[Providence Agents turn off the lights and bring Rex a birthday cake]'' Happy Birthday!
:'''Rex:'''	Dudes!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You should be celebrating too, Six! After all, you’re the one who started this. In a way, it’s your birthday too.
:''[Flashback to Six and Knight walking through the Petting Zoo during construction of Providence HQ.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Nyquist. Fortier. How’s the monkey business?
:'''Nyquist:''' Ha ha-larious, Knight.
:'''Fortier:''' Hey, for your information we probably saved the world today.
:'''White Knight:''' I, for one, feel safer already. ''[Knight states, looking at Bobo while Six walks towards his cage]''
:'''Bobo:''' So, green man. We meet again!
:'''Calan:''' They found him at the Kremlin this time. He was threatening to push the button unless someone brought him a thousand pounds of caviar.
:'''Bobo:''' Chimp’s gotta eat.
:'''Fortier:''' What about your little bug hunt? Give you much trouble?
:'''White Knight:''' Nothing we couldn’t handle.
:''[The EVO is transported in a cage overhead while Knight and Six walk through a hallway.]''
:'''White Knight:''' What? Not even a smile? Oh by the way, happy birthday. ''[Knight passes Six a gift]''
:'''Six:''' How did you know?
:'''White Knight:''' I’m your partner. Can’t keep much from me.
:'''Six:''' Thanks.
:'''White Knight:''' So what crawled up your coat?
:'''Six:''' I’m getting tired of all this fighting. Did you see how many there are now? Are we gonna cage the whole world?
:'''White Knight:''' ''[Knight turns around, placing a hand on Six's shoulder]'' We’re preserving the human race. ''[The door to the processing facility opens]'' Besides, who says we’re gonna cage them all?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' ''[Looking at the EVO]'' And to think, this was once spinning webs in someone’s garden. Doctor Holiday, prepare for disassembly. ''[Doctor Holiday nods and activates the procedure as per his instructions. Doctor Fell sports a wicked smile during the experiment before it disintegrates the EVO without a trace]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It’s the same exact data as last time, and the time before that; Doctor Fell, why aren’t we studying them in a natural setting?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' Only through molecular dissection will we find a way to expunge this threat. The committee agrees with me on this. If you do not approve, I can always find another assistant.
:'''White Knight:''' ''[Doctor Holiday leaves the facility in frustration with Doctor Fell]'' Bleeding hearts. They’ll get us all killed one day.
:''[Holiday walks down a hallway and drops several notes, one of which Six picks up.]''
:'''Six:''' EVO?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Exponentially Variegated Organism; a little more scientific than spoiled meat. That is what you hired guns call them isn’t it?
:'''Six:''' It's Six, and I don't use guns. You told Fell we could learn more by bringing them in alive. What did you mean?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The nanites are altering our DNA, but with the right type of research, there's no doubt they could be programmed to stop or reverse the process. Imagine a third option to this, kill-or-Contain protocol.
:'''Six:''' A third option?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' A cure.
:'''White Knight:''' ''[Knight and several other Providence agents run past Holiday after an alarm activates]'' Buckle up partner! Looks like we got ourselves a big one.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hopeless.
:''[Providence mercenaries arrive at Mexico to confront the giant mechanical EVO.]''
:'''White Knight:''' What are we looking at?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' ''[Speaking through a monitor]'' Fascinating. It appears to be bio-mechanical. I must have a closer look at this one.
:'''White Knight:''' One for the trophy case.
:'''Six:''' Wait. We may get more out of this one if we bring it in alive!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Fell:''' You're letting your emotions cloud your judgement, Six. With what we gleam from this boy, I could create tools that could inoculate the world.
:'''Six:''' Why risk it? He can already cure them! I've seen it!
:'''White Knight:''' So, what, we train him? Make him one of us?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Knight:''' We're supposed to be friends! He's a monster! What do you see in him!?
:'''Six:''' Hope.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''White Knight:''' Thanks for talking some sense into him, Doc. ''[Knight picks up Six’s katana and walks toward Rex]''
:'''Rex:''' What...what’s happening to me? ''[Rex pleas to Knight, who simply looks down at him before warning sirens go off and the facility begins to lockdown]''
:'''Dr. Fell:''' We’re all going to burn. ''[Fell escapes while Rex is craned away by Holiday on an upper level]''
:'''White Knight:''' No! ''[Knight looks back at Six who is slowly picking himself up while the remaining exits close off. In a last ditch effort, Knight carries Six and throws him through the final set of doors before they seal shut]''
:'''Six:'''	''[Six picks himself and slams his fist against the glass]'' Why?
:'''White Knight:''' I know what side I’m on. ''[Knight proudly states before getting consumed by a blinding white light and screaming in agony]''
:'''Six:'''	''[Grabbing a hold of Dr. Fell's collar Six shouts]'' Do something!
:'''Dr. Fell:''' Once the cycle starts it's impossible to shut down.
:'''Rex:'''	''[Contrary to Dr. Fell's statement, the light fades away and the electricity is subdued after Rex interfaces with a control panel]'' Impossible? Psh, right.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' How did you—-?
:'''Rex:''' Told it to turn off. And it did! Wait, where...where am I?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' ''[Speaking through a monitor]'' Doctor Holiday. Maybe you were right.
:'''Dr. Holiday:'''	Maybe you should start looking for another job.
:'''Bobo:''' ''[Within the processing chamber, Knight takes a few steps forward before collapsing]'' Hey marshmallow! Nice look! ''[Knight looks back up at Bobo with his signature bleached appearance]''
:''[Some time later, in his office White Knight speaks to Six through a monitor.]''
:'''White Knight:''' How’s the training?
:'''Six:'''	Slow.
:'''White Knight:''' Not all you hoped he’d be? ''[Rex and Bobo topple each other in a play fight while Knight continues to monologue in his office]'' Still, who would’ve thought the kinder, gentler approach would do such wonders for our profile. The notion of a cure has gotten Providence funding, and worldwide prestige. The committee's happy. Your new partner may just be the best thing this operation could have asked for. Funny, isn’t it? Because of you I can never leave this chamber. I’m now the only pure human left in the world. And the perfect poster boy to run this operation. I suppose I should thank you.
:'''Six:''' I promised him that we would help uncover his past; find his family.
:'''White Knight:''' Whatever keeps him on his leash. But if he shows the slightest sign of turning into thing again, it's all on you.
:''[Back at the party in the present, Noah is pinned down by Bobo with a bag on his head to Rex’s amusement.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Hoo-hoo-hoo! Oh my—hold him down, I’ll get the camera! ''[Rex runs to his room, and after a quick search he instead finds a long box on a corner shelf]''
:'''Six:''' Happy birthday. ''[Six walks into his room, officially greeting Rex]''
:'''Rex:'''	From you? For me? You gotta be kidding.
:'''Six:''' You, your work. It has made a real difference. I just—-
:'''Rex:'''	Yeah, I know I’m pretty great! But seriously get off the sap train, Six. It’s creeping me out. ''[Rex opens the gift to reveal the blade inside]'' Wow, Six! Thank you!
:'''Six:'''	It’s called a tanto. It’s the ceremonial blade of a samurai warrior.
:'''Rex:'''	Samurai? Awesome.
:'''Six:'''	''[Six unsheathes his own tanto and holds it against Rex’s]'' This is its twin.
:'''Rex:'''	''[Rex removes the cap from his tanto and squints at the symbol etched into the blade]'' Is that...writing?
:'''Six:'''	Bushido symbol of loyalty. It means whether for good or ill, our fates will follow the same path. This one stays with me.
:'''Rex:'''	Think this thing can cut through Holiday’s chocolate cake?
:'''Six:'''	''[Six raises an eyebrow]'' Anything’s possible.
:''[Rex puts the cap back on to the blade and camera cuts to outside of Providence headquarters, panning outward until screen fades to black.]''

===Badlands===
:'''Gatlocke:''' Do you like rules?
:'''Rex:''' Can't say I do.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Gatlocke:''' Feel that? It's quilted. This is the good kind. But I won't be able to really enjoy in ''until I have those nanites!''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Out of the Dark===
:''Note'': Rex's love interest and sweetheart Circe appears in a vision.

===Payback===
:''[In the realm of Abysus]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Humiliated... De-powered... All but destroyed. Hardly the new world I set out to build, is it?
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, a spy has made contact.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Well?
:'''Providence Spy:''' Everything is in place.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' And the boy?
:'''Providence Spy:''' He's here.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' ''[to his loyal followers]'' Soon our greatest enemy will be buried! Providence itself will be destroyed. And we'll have Rex to thank.
:'''Rex:''' Come on! Who's gonna know?
:'''Noah:''' Yeah. It would only be for a minute or two.
:'''Calan:''' You actually want me to let you fly the keep?
:''[Calan sighs]''
:'''Calan:''' Only until the next course change. And nothing fancy.
:'''Rex:''' All right, let's see what this baby can really do! Why, it wasn't me! Seriously!
:'''Both:''' Whoa!
:'''Providence Spies:''' Aah!
:'''White Knight:''' Calan, what's your status?
:'''Calan:''' Came from out of nowhere. We're being boarded. Scramble all jump jets. Mobilize for a counter-offensive.
:'''White Knight:''' This is a coordinated attack. Every major Providence outpost around the globe has been hit.
:'''Six:''' So far they've steered clear of headquarters. I'm on route to the keep now.
:'''Rex:''' Are they really that stupid? Attacking the keep with me on board? This should only take a minute.
:'''Noah:''' Wait up!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Find Rex. It goes without saying &quot;alive&quot; would be ideal. Take the ship.
:'''Providence Spy:''' Some kind of power surge. We're losing control of the helm!
:'''Calan:''' Find out where it's coming from. Doc, if you'll excuse me--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six?
:'''Six:''' Five minutes out. Prepare for an evac. I'm getting you off the ship.
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Noah:''' Again with the Smack Hands? You always open with that move. Change it up a little!
:'''Both:''' Whoa!
:'''Bobo:''' You see what you get? That's what happens when you interrupt my nap-- Bobo gets cranky!
:'''Rex:''' I learned that the hard way, too.
:'''Calan:''' All hands-- We've got intruders on deck four, five, and six. Get'em off our ship!
:'''Rex:''' Go!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Attention, Providence. The ship is ours.
:'''Rex:''' Ugh! Not even close, Van Kleiss!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Lay down your weapons, and your lives will be spared. Continue to resist and nothing survives.
:'''Rex:''' You've made I made some lame-o moves before, Van Kleiss, but this one-- classic.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Seems you may have run out of tricks. Oh, you had to know it would only be a matter of time. I've had a fair amount of time on my hands these days. ''[Restrains Rex with his gauntlet]''
:'''Rex:''' Aaaaah!
:'''Van Kleiss:'''  You took something very precious from me, Rex, and now I'll be returning the favor.
:'''Rex:''' If you want my monkey, you can forget it. 
:''[Van Kleiss starts draining nanites from Rex, causing him to squirm and scream in pain.]''
:''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It might come as a surprise that when you stole the nanites that gave my power, you left some of your behind-- Enough to tell me a few of what makes you tick. :''[Rex tries to summon a build, but nothing happens.]''
:'''Rex:''' Ungh!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:''[Rex gasps]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' You'll find that using your powers will be something of a challenge. The nanites that you so special belong to me now.
:'''Biowulf:''' What shall I do with him, master?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I have everything I need from him. I could care less. Secure the rest of the ship.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Come on! Do you really think throwing me out that hatch is the best way to get rid of me? Wouldn't it be more fun to throw me in a cage, tie me down in front of a laser?
:'''Biowulf:''' No!
:'''Rex:''' Aaaaaaaah! Wh-o-o-o-o-oa!
:'''Noah:''' What is he doing?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' This is no time to fool around, Rex.
:'''Rex:''' Happened to notice that ground coming up on his, doc? If you don't do something fast, I'm about to become part of it! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Ugh!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, are you okay?
:'''Rex:''' I think we may have a problem.
:'''White Knight:''' What do you mean &quot;they have the keep&quot;?! Blow it up!
:'''Six:''' We tried. The remote-destruct sequence has been disabled. Van Kleiss has complete control of it.
:'''White Knight:''' Give me some good news.
:'''Six:''' We know where it's heading. Here.
:'''Biowulf:''' This is the commanding officer. We found him attempting to destroy this ship.
:'''Calan:''' What's your game, Van Kleiss?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, a very good question-- One that depends entirely on what happens next, Captain. It seems my powers have made a slight... change.
:'''Rex:''' Well? They're gone, aren't they? Van Kleiss took all my active nanites.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Not exactly. I found this. Definitely a nanite, but it's unlike anything I've ever seen. Molecular scans seems to indicate it's some kind of control-nanite.
:'''Rex:''' But with nothing to control.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' With a large enough concentration of nanites, we might be able to jump-start it. But even with that, there's no guarantee it would replicate or even give you back the same abilities.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I hate to say it, but this one has me stumped.
:'''Rex:''' Great. Loving this.
:'''White Knight:''' If you're finished with the lost cause, we've got a bigger problem.
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, how is this possible?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' It would seem Rex's nanites have an opposite effect on me. He cured EVOs. Now I create them. Full ahead-- Ramming speed! Once we're through, we'll destroy Providence from the inside out.
:'''White Knight:''' Lock it down! I want hallways cleared and critical sections defended. They will not take this base.
:'''Rex:''' Well? What are we waiting for? Let's go stop them!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, you're in no condition to fight.
:'''Rex:''' Well, what do you expect me to do-- Hide?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Whatever it takes. That nanite inside you might be able to bring you back, but it's going to take me time to figure out how. And that's not something we have a lot of right now.
:'''Rex:''' Wow. Nice outfit.
:'''Noah:''' Got one for you, too. You get to armor up like the rest of us normals.
:'''Rex:''' Come on.
:'''Bobo:''' All right, where to?
:'''Rex:''' South Pacific.
:'''Bobo:''' That's my boy. And here I thought you'd try to pull some hero stunt. Oh, brother.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I want the White Knight. Find where he's hiding and bring him to me.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That should be everything, as long as the offsite backup holds.
:'''Six:''' Don't let it get to that.
:'''Noah:''' This is a strange place for a base.
:'''Rex:''' When I have too many nanites in me, this is where I go to offload.
:'''Bobo:''' Think of it as a nanite porta-potty.
:'''Noah:''' Thanks... For that image, Bobo. So, we just put some of these nanites in you, and we're good to go?
:'''Rex:''' No. They're inactive. Or at least stripped of their programming. Since I can't control them, I just have to hope that whatever this thing is inside me can't.
:'''Noah:''' So... What happens if it can't?
:'''Bobo:''' Let me put it this way-- The last guy who went swimmin' in that soup ended up a 50-foot freak show.
:'''White Knight:''' Listen to me carrefully, Van Kleiss.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I'd rather not.
:'''White Knight:''' Where are they?
:'''Six:''' The inner perimeter has been compromised. They're coming.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Ugh! Ungh!
:''[Skalamander roars]''
:''[Skalamander roars]''
:'''Biowulf:''' Open it.
:'''Rex:''' Okay. Bobo, set the thing to &quot;vent&quot; and go. If this doesn't work, I don't want you getting caught in the blast.
:'''Bobo:''' No.
:'''Noah:''' Forget it. Rex, at least think about his for a sec. What if it wipes your memory? What it turns you into some evil monster?
:'''Rex:''' My friends need me. There's nothing more to think about. Bobo, do it.
:'''Bobo:''' Long odds, pay big.
:''[Bobo groans]''
:'''Six:''' You've overstayed your welcome.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, here's someone who would make a nice addition to our EVO ranks.
:'''Six:''' Go ahead and try. Ugh!
:''[Six groans]''
:'''Rex:''' Trying to do my job for me, Six? Here's a thought-- When your top henchman can't even get rid of someone by throwing him out of a moving plane, time to rethink the help.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' You are determined-- I'll give you that. If it's what you prefer, I'll finish you myself.
:'''Rex:''' Maybe.
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa! Cool!
:'''Bobo:''' See? I told you it would work.
:'''Six:''' This is an unexpected surprise.
:'''Rex:''' Well, by now, you should expect the unexpected from me, Six.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ungh!
:''[Skalamander roars]''
:''[Dr. Holiday grunts]''
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Noah:''' Is that what I think it is?
:'''Bobo:''' Not anymore.
:'''Noah:''' You think there might be more of them?
:'''Bobo:''' Eh... Probably.
:''[Biowulf grunts]''
:''[Biowulf growls]''
:'''Biowulf:''' Aaaaaaah!
:'''White Knight:''' I use that electromagnet to trap stray nanites. You're lucky it's on the lowest setting. Any higher, and it would rip the nanites right out of your body.
:''[Biowulf grunts]''
:'''Biowulf:''' Then why don't you?
:'''White Knight:''' Because then I wouldn't be able to do this.
:'''Skalamander:''' No one can help you. You're all alone now.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Not exactly. We still have my sister.
:''[Skalamander grunting]''
:''[Rex and Van Kleiss grunts]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Aaaaah!
:'''Rex:''' No way!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ungh!
:'''Rex:''' Once again, epic fail. I'll take my nanites back now.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh!
:'''Noah:''' Rex, wait!
:'''Bobo:''' Van Kleiss left behind a few presents.
:'''Rex:''' No time to look everywhere. I'm shutting everything down.
:'''Noah:''' You can do that?
:'''Rex:''' Don't know. Never tried. Anything else? No?
:'''Calan:''' Whew! I never want to do that again. No, sir.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Amazing.
:'''Rex:''' Why, thank you.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I was talking about the nanites. That was a risky move, Rex, but it worked. As far as I can tell, you're back to your old self.
:'''Rex:''' I don't know. Something feels different. That new build-- I think I can do even more. It's like I can see the blueprints. I just need to figure out how to put it all together.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' White Knight in person. Never thought I'd see the day.
:'''White Knight:''' Well, don't get used to it. We found all the explosives. The base and the keep will need extensive repairs. This was not our finest hour.
:'''Rex:''' What are you talking about? We kicked butt! So what if Van Kleiss is back and more powerful than ever? So am I! If he wants a nanite war, let him bring it!
:''[White Knight laughs]''
:'''White Knight:''' It's good to have your back, Rex.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You know, I think he actually means it.
:'''Rex:''' Sure he does. So, tell me something, guys-- What's next?

==Season Two (2011)==
===Rampage===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' I'll give you the recap. Thanks to these microscopic machines called nanites, I can build cool gear out of my body. I'm what's called an EVO. But most evo's aren't lucky like me. They usually look like this. ''[laughing]'' I know what you're thinking. And they smell bad, too. There's one other thing I can do that makes me even more special. Some EVOs, I can cure. That's why I work for Providence. We're the people you call when an evo is tearing up your lawn or attacking a city. And the worst of them is this guy... Van Kleiss. The last time we fought, things got a little out of hand. I'll admit it... we pretty much got our tails handed to us. He steals the key, wrecks headquarters, hijacks my nanite to get back the powers I took away from him. And now he can actually make people into EVOs. Then, to top it off, he has his dog boy Biowulf throw me, overboard at 6,000 feet. Not that anyone's keeping score. Sure, Van Kleiss may be back, but so am I. So what if he can make EVOs? I can still cure them. He may have new powers, but guess what... I do, too. Ever since my powers came back, I've got the ability to make amazing new machines. Now I just have to figure out how to build more.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' If you're trying to check up on me, Six, the answer's still a big fat... ''[imitates buzzer]'' I can't figure out how to make this new build.
:'''Six:''' It might take some time, but you'll get it.
:'''Rex:''' And meanwhile, Van Kleiss is out there doing who knows what. I wish they'd hurry up and get the H.Q. Rebuilt. You're not still living out of your jump jet like some ninja hobo, are you?
:'''Six:''' My temporary accommodations are perfectly adequate.
:'''Rex:''' Yep. Still living in the jet. ''[Groans]'' I hate being kicked out of our house. Although, as long as they're building stuff, I need a hot tub.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;I was wondering when you and your hair would show up again, Van Kleiss.&quot;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Back to your old self again, I see. And how are those new abilities developing?&quot;
:'''Rex:''' Just fine. Thanks for asking.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Don't you have anything better to do with your life then come after me all the time?&quot;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' &quot;Funny you should ask.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Doc? How are those biometrics looking now?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Give it a try.
:'''Rex:''' Ah, yeah! It's about time! Machines work. I just hope the important part does.
:'''Noah:''' What just happened?
:'''Rex:''' Do you remember anything?
:'''Noah:''' It all kind of hazy. I mostly remember the feeling of... Fun. And I remember you punching me in the face.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah. Sorry about that. I thought you were trying to eat me. Come on. We've got a rat to catch. Why so happy? Is this the part where breach shows up and rescues you?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Actually, no. This is the part where she takes your inadequately guarded fuel core.
:'''Six:''' Six to post, what's your status? Six to post.
:'''Rex:''' Another decoy?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I should share some of the credit with your friend over here. He played the part to perfection.
:'''Noah:''' Gee, thanks.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, this would be the part where Breach shows up.
:'''Noah:''' I can't believe I did all this. Sounds like I had the time of my life.
:'''Rex:''' ''[laughing]'' It almost became your life. Sorry about that.
:'''Noah:''' Are you kidding? Just knowing I was a rampaging evo is cool. I wish I could have remembered at least some of it.
:'''Rex:''' It's probably all over the news if you want a replay... At least until you stepped on the news van.
:'''Noah:''' Well... ''[Exhales sharply]'' Guess it's back to quadratic equations.
:'''Rex:''' I have no idea what those are. I've got somewhere I need to be. See you later. I know. I'm not supposed to be here. I don't care if it's a construction zone. I'm moving back.
:'''Six:''' It's all right. Turns out you're not the only one who feels that way. You'll get used to the cold showers. Food, you're on your own. From the top?
:'''Rex:''' From the top.
:'''Six:''' What were you trying to build, anyway?
:'''Rex:''' A water jet. Oh, by the way, I need a new cellphone.
:'''Six:''' Yes?
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' It's after my glasses again.
:'''Six:''' Glasses?
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' This time I am serious. Now, when are you going to send someone out here?
:'''Six:''' Ma'am, I'm...
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' Do you even work for Providence?
:'''Six:''' Yes, I work for Providence.
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' What kind of a flimflam outfit is this?
:'''Six:''' How did you get this number?

===Wasteland===
===Tough Love===

===The Lost Weekend===
:'''Kenwyn:''' What did you to Skwydd?
:'''Mouse:''' Just shedding a light light on how dangerous his kind can be.
:'''Rex:''' By juicing his powers? What were you thinking?
:'''Mouse:''' Most inorganic material explodes when given that kind of molecular jolt, but not not nanites. They convert the energy into power that amplifies an E.V.O.'s abilities to tremendously uncontrollable levels.

===Star-Crossed===

===Alliance===
:'''Rex:''' ''[to himself]'' And he brought his Pack flunkies. Biowulf, Skalamander, Breach. Circe? Gotta hurry. Their headed straight for... someplace else. Gonna find out where.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Holiday:''' Rex why aren't you fixing that shield regulator?
:'''Rex:''' Hint. You may remember him from such schemes as destroying Providence headquarters, and trying to take over the entire Earth.
:'''Holiday:''' Van Kliess, in there? You're right. You should investigate after you fix the shield.
:'''Rex:''' Then it might be too late.
:'''Holiday:''' She's there, isn't she?
:'''Rex:''' Who? Breach? Yeah, but...
:'''Holiday:''' A quick recon and that's it.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Intriguing. An entire urban branch of EVO. development.
:'''Biowulf:''' This place is a waste of our time.
:'''Circe:''' Van Kleiss knows what he's doing. It's not your place to question.
:'''Biowulf:''' Question?! You dare accuse me of disloyalty?!
:'''Circe:''' Sorry. Get a grip!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' You're right, you know. We should be down there with him. What is he up to anyway?
:'''Biowulf:''' I do not know.
:'''Circe:''' You don't know? I thought he trusted you with everything.
:'''Biowulf:''' Of course he does! He just--
:'''Rex:''' Hey! Easy on the stealth suit, which apparently, isn't so stealthy.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''NoFace:''' Invaders have come before. They brought only pain.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' It is a pain we both share. The same Providence outsides attacked my lands, destroyed my army.
:'''NoFace:''' There was one who tormented us, humiliated us. The grower of machines.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ah, Rex. Another thorn we share. My proposal is simple: You control a formidable legion. I, in turn, can provide the escape and the vengeance you seek. I can be your liberator. You can be my general. Together we will crush our enemies, starting with the one you hate most. Now are we--
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, I have a report.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' ''[irritated]'' This is a private conversation. Can't you handle the sightest detail without bothering me?
:'''Biowulf:''' Of course, Master. It was nothing.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Here comes the moment when our brave hero sweeps the girl of her feet! Literally!
:'''Biowulf:''' Don't let him.
:'''Circe:''' Hey! Let--
:'''Rex:''' ''[flies off with Circe in his arms]''' See you around, henchie!
:'''Biowulf:''' ''[to Skalamander]''  Follow them.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' Down, now!
:'''Rex:''' Not till we hear each other out!
:'''Circe:''' Sure! I'll go first. 
:''[Breaks the Bogie Pack with a hypersonic burst, causing them to fall]''
:'''Rex:''' Oh, great. Way to go, Circe.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' ''[to himself]'' Our hero pursues the girl of his dreams, heedless of her attempts to break his heart... along with the rest of him. Circe, just one minute, okay? Look-No powers!
:'''Circe:''' One minute! But if this is about leaving the Pack--
:'''Rex:''' Please. I'm way past that. There are bigger things going here than who you hang out with.
:'''Circe:''' Fifty seconds!
:'''Rex:''' I wasn't sent here to spy on you. I'm here to stop these things from ever getting out.
:'''Circe:''' Forty! Why are you telling me this? You know who I am!
:'''Rex:''' You've seen the things that live here. Whatever deal you think Van Kleiss is making, it's going to turn out bad for everyone.
:'''Circe:''' Thirty seconds!
:'''Rex:''' I do know who you are, Circe. Just for once think for yourself. Maybe your perfect leader could actually be wrong, maybe even a bit crazy, nuts, certifiably insane!
: '''Circe:''' Shut up! Twenty! Talk about blinded. Did you ever wonder why Van Kleiss is so interested in you?
:'''Rex:''' Oh, I don't know. Maybe he wants me dead?
:'''Circe:''' Not anymore. Something has changed, Rex. Ever since you got your powers back, I hear him talking. Saying you have something that's the key to everything. For whatever reason, he needs you alive. I know it, Rex. He'd never let you be killed.
:'''Rex:''' Never, huh?
:'''Circe:''' Time's up! 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Now this looks like a party.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Rex, you never cease to amaze me.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''No-Face:''' Defiler! Give him to us!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now do you believe I can deliver what I say? Will yoh agree to my leadership?
:'''No-Face:''' We agree to it! Give him to us! Now! Now! Now!
:'''Circe:''' ''[very shocked]''' Van Kleiss, I didn't bring Rex here so that you could-- He'll kill him!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Never forget how I found you, Circe. What you were... before. He's yours. 
:''[Tears well up in Circe's eyes; thoroughly horrified that her master would calmly allow Rex's life to be put at risk]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' ''[weakly]''' Is this what you wanted? 
:''[Collapses from his inquiries, causing Circe to open her eyes]''
:'''Circe''' ''[tearful, pleading]'': Stop this! Please! You need him alive!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Alive, yes. Heart pumping, lungs breathing, but his mind? The less there's left of that, the better. Circe, I warn you: Lift so much as a finger to help him, and you're finished!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' You, Biowulf, even me. We're all just means to an end for him. He doesn't really care for any of us.
:'''Rex:''' So you finally figured that out. Better late than never, I guess.
:'''Circe:''' It's not too late! Not if I have anything to say about it!
:''[Extends her fleshly and grotesque EVOs mouth]''
:'''Bobo:''' Whoa! Whoa! There are some of us who might not like the sound of whatever you're about to do!
:'''Circe:''' I'll adjust the frequency to exclude friendly EVOs.
:'''Bobo:''' Does that include me?
:'''Circe:''' For now. 
:''[Uses her melodious, hypnotic singing to call back the EVOs escaping]''
:'''Rex:''' I thought you said you could filter it.
:'''Circe:''' It's not an exact science. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' Van Kleiss.
:'''Rex:''' Breach'll get him out... eventually. But right now he's in there, you're out here. You don't have a better opportunity to consider your options.
:''[Notice the two of them holding hands and let go, blushing]''
:'''Bobo:''' What is it stealing from our own people that's so dang satisfying?
:'''Circe:''' You forget to remove the tracker. I'm not going to Providence.
:'''Rex:''' Doesn't matter where you go. All that matters is that you want to go there. That said. I hear Hong Kong's nice this time of year.

===Robo Bobo===
===Divide By Six===
:'''One''': ''[Speaking through Rex]'' Six.
:'''Six''': One?
:'''One''': You left this place, quit life as a mercenary and so rarely returned to visit.
:'''Six''': I did what I felt was right, I never meant to dishonor.
:'''One''': So rarely, that I never had time to tell you how proud you've made me.
:'''Six''': ''[Takes off his glasses for the first time in the series]'' We're going to help you. We're going to take you home.
:'''One''': But Six, I  am home. ''[Rex falls unconscious while One's body starts changing. Eventually his body dissolves and fertilizes the entire island to its former splendor]''
: '''Six:''' He's still One. He's just one with everything.
===Mixed Signals===
: '''Rex:''' Whoa, big guy! Someone needs to ease off on the cheeseburgers.
: '''Six:''' Skip the insults. Start the containment.
: '''Rex:''' Like its feelings are going to get hurt. One bad and ugly going down. What?
: '''Six:''' Rex? Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Cool!
: '''Six:''' You want to explain this?
: '''Rex:''' I don't know. It's like some weird vision of this thing filled my head, then built itself out of me. Maybe the vision came from Blobbo. Maybe it's trying to talk to me. Come on, big boy. Send me some more pictures. What's on your mind?
: '''Six:''' Groceries. That's what's on its mind.
: '''Rex:''' I'm skipping. I'm over it. That vision must have been a fluke.
: '''Six:''' All right, then. We're going with a two-prong attack. Use caution. This kind of EVO might be a splitter. Rex! Snap out of it!
: '''Rex:''' Whoa! Whoa! Ha! I wasn't supposed to do that, right?
: '''Six:''' Rex, I want you back at HQ.
: '''Rex:''' But I feel okay now. And we've got, um-- Two blobs to put down.
: '''Six:''' Now!
: '''Holiday:''' No trace of any recent electrochemical or DNA abnormalities. Everything reads normal.
: '''Rex:''' But it's like the visions were being transmitted, and I was seeing it from a nanite point of view.
: '''Holiday:''' I can't track it, Rex. There's no sign of signal displacement or a nano disturbance. Maybe we should consider the possibility that this is psychological.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Pizza.
: '''Holiday:''' I think he's having another vision.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Of lunch?
: '''Rex:''' With pineapple and salmon.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Blech! He is nuts.
: '''Holiday:''' Aside from a strange choice in pizza toppings, all readings are normal. I can't explain it.
: '''Rex:''' Well, if my nanites are trying to get me to build something, maybe we should give them what they want.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Whatever it is, I'm not eating it. Is that my electric toothbrush?
: '''Rex:''' It better not be the one I've been using.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Oh.
: '''Rex:''' This is what I'm seeing in my head. As stupid as it looks. It's like someone or something is sending me instructions to build some big device.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Or build a pizza with pineapple and salmon.
: '''Rex:''' Okay. I'm not sure about that vision.
: '''Holiday:''' Is that my hairdryer?
: '''Rex:''' I just need to figure out what it does. Maybe it's a time machine. Or-- Or alien technology!
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Maybe it's just a big pile of junk. Or a way to order a really awful pizza.
: '''Contraption Voice:''' Target acquired.
: '''Holiday:''' Rex!
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Wake up!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Provindece Soldier #1:''' Hey, where do you think you're going? We've got a security breach. Front floor.
: '''Providence Soldier #2:''' Lockdown protocols enabled. All hands report to duty station. Security speed, take position.
: '''Rex:''' Sorry, guys. I might be a little... late.
: '''Caesar:''' Case compression. Release.
: '''Rex:''' Figures I'd build a machine with a serious attitude problem.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[taking off his helmet and turns to Rex]'' Rex, is that you?
: '''Rex:''' Who’s asking?
: '''Caesar:''' It’s me, Caesar, your brother! Mijo! ''[Hugs Rex]'' You're alive and... older. ''[Rex is dumbfounded]'' Uh. Atomic clock was right... ''[spanish accent]'' Es una problema grande.
: '''Rex:''' Uh, yeah. ''[Pushes Caesar]'' It is a big problem.
: '''Caesar:''' What is this place? Who are you people? ''[to Rex]'' I'm getting you out of here!
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Sorry, amigo. Put your hands up. Or don't. I got a clear shot either way.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[is looking at Bobo]'' A talking chimp?
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Don't bother. I've heard all the jokes.
: '''Caesar:''' Have they hurt you? Are you okay? Stand aside.
: '''Rex:''' Hello? Do I get a say in this?
: '''Holiday:''' If you're part of some elaborate plan to kidnap Rex, then you failed.
: '''Caesar:''' Listen, bonita, you don't wanna make me use this.
: '''Rex:''' ''[gets in between them]'' Enough! Normally around here when someone barges in talking crazy, they get around into the deck plates by my giant fists. But you seem legit. I'm going with him.
: '''Holiday:''' Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Okay, brother. Lead the way. So if you are my brother, where have you been all this time?
: '''Caesar:''' I'll explain later when we're safe.
: '''Rex:''' Uh, this is Providence. We are safe. Usually.
: '''Caesar:''' Providence? Never heard of it. To be honest, the last five years has been a bit of a blur.
: '''Rex:''' I want to believe you, but I'm gonna need some proof.
: '''Caesar:''' Your name is Rex Salazar. Our parents are Violetta and Raphael. The last time I saw you was at the Applied Nanite Research Lab in Abysus; right before those fools triggered a replication cycle.
: '''Rex:''' And I have total amnesia so, for all I know, that could be completely bogus.
: '''Caesar:''' There's a scar on the back of your left knee you got when you were seven, riding the gantry arm in the reactor annex.
: '''Rex:''' Hmm. I always wondered how I got that.
:''[they go out and Rex notices Caesar Salazar's pod laboratory]''
: '''Rex:''' Whoa. Nice wheels.
: '''Six:''' ''[Comes out and unsheathed his swords]'' Don't even think about it.
: ''[Caesar is about to attack but Rex stops him]''
: '''Rex:''' It's okay. Six isn't going to hurt you. Right, Six? You're comming in a little late on this, but, uh, this is Caesar, my brother, and he wants to get me out of here. So, let's just let my brother have his way and see where this all goes. Wherever you plan on going, they're going to follow us. You know that, right?
: '''Caesar:''' They can try.
: '''Rex:''' I don't know. Providence ship are pretty fast.
: '''Six:''' Track Rex's bio signature and find out who that guy really is.
: '''Rex:''' You ain't kidding. This thing moves fast. A-are we in the arctic?
: '''Caesar:''' How do you think I got to your location so quickly once the locator signaled me?
: '''Rex:''' Locator? You sent me the schematics to build that thing? It tried to crush me like a bug!
: '''Caesar:''' Sorry, mijo. I wasn't really trying to hurt. ''[scans Rex's body]'' I was looking for what's hiding inside of you. ''[showing Rex the result]'' The Omega One Nanite.
: '''Rex:''' That thing? Holiday discovered it before. We had no idea what it was.
: '''Caesar:''' I sent signal instructions for the Omega One to track and contain. But since the nanite has integrated into your DNA, you became the conduit for building the machine. What I don't get is how the Omega One got inside of you. Rylander was supposed to have that under lock and key.
: '''Rex:''' Rylander? He's the one who put it inside me.
: '''Caesar:''' Why would he do a thing like that? I'm really gonna have to let old fool have it when I see him.
: '''Rex:''' Not possible-- Courtesy of Van Kleiss.
: '''Caesar:''' Van Kleiss?! What does that third-rate lab hack have to do with this?
: '''Rex:''' What? I guess I’m not the only one who needs an update. Where have you been?
: '''Caesar:''' It's a long story-- actually, short by my clock. A splinter group had formed at the lab. They had other ideas about how the nanites would be used. We tried to stop them, and you were hurt. The only way to save your life was an infusion of nanites. It was risky, but it worked. We thought that'd be enough to stop the others, make them see the right path. But we were wrong. Mom and Dad were in the reactor. As for me, I managed to escape in my lab. But the shock wave, the same shock wave that probably blanked your memory.... also interfered with engine that powers this pod. I was stuck in sub-light drive.
: '''Rex:''' How long?
: '''Caesar:''' Fifteen minutes. That's how long it took me to reboot the system. But at the speed I was going, it was 5 years of your time. I knew there was an accident, but I had no idea how bad. My nanite sensors were off the charts. My 1st priority was to insure the OM-1 was safe. That was our promise. And here we are. So, what have I missed these past five years?
: '''Rex:''' Providence? We need to talk. They can wait.
: '''Caesar:''' So let me understand, there are EVOs and Van Kleiss claimed as their leader?
: '''Rex:''' Well, not for all of them, yet. I want to know about me, about our parents.
: '''Caesar:''' They were scientists. We lived all over the world. Things settled down when you came along. That was in Geneva.
: '''Rex:''' Wait a second. Are you saying I'm Swiss?
: ''Caesar:'' Not really. Mother was born in Mexico City. Father in Buenos Aires.
: '''Rex:''' And they're really... gone? ''[Caesar slowly nods sadly]''
: '''Rex:''' Um, where exactly did this ship take us?
: '''Caesar:''' What do you know?We're back at the original lab site.
: '''Rex:''' You mean the one in Abysus?
: '''Caesar:''' Is that a problem?
: '''Rex:''' I'd say just a small one. We should go, like now.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[typing]'' Hmm... Must be low on charge.  ''[walks out the door]'' We may be stuck, but on the bright side, I can take a look at some of these variegated organisms. ''[goes out]''
: '''Rex:''' Caesar! Wait!
: ''[outside and observing the EVOs]''
: '''Caesar:''' Fascinating. We theorized mutations might occur but never anything this random.
: ''[Rex hits the EVO before they got near Caesar]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Sorry, bro, but these guys--
: ''[Rex hits another EVO]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Usually don't sit still for questions.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[seeing Rex's new build]'' Hmm... That's new.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Guess I've learned a--
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' A few tricks. But they still won't be enough if Van Kleiss shows up with all his goons. Six!
: '''Six:'''We're locked onto you. The keep is already on its way.
: '''Rex:''' Your ship may be out of juice, but I'm not. Hop on. I can get us out of here.
: '''Caesar:''' I won't leave my lab, and you definitely don't want Van Kleiss getting his hands on some of the things in here. I'll try to reroute the capacitors to an alternate power source.
: '''Caesar:''' Oh, you wanna see a photo of you, me, and papi? Maybe later.
: '''Rex:''' You're a little off, aren't you, Caesar? 
: '''Biowulf:''' What was that machine it flew off with?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' A laboratory. One I thought I'd never see again. It seems an old friend has returned-Caesar.
: '''Rex:''' Providence isn't so bad now, eh, hermano?
: '''Caesar:''' Is this a Grinnell? They always made good consoles, except for the random power surges.
: '''Six:''' Well?
: '''Rex:''' Everything's cool. He's a little kooky, but I'm pretty sure he's my brother.
: '''Six:''' Glad to hear it. Now I need you back. We still have some unfinished business.
: '''Rex:''' Got to get back to work.
: '''Caesar:''' My little brother, the hero. I remember when you just wanted to be a musician.
: '''Rex:''' Guitar? No, wait drums.
: '''Caesar:''' Accordion.
: '''Rex:''' You got to be kidding me!
: '''Six:''' As I recall, you started it.
: '''Rex:''' Huh?
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Six:''' The EVO is dividing faster than we can contain it. The city is being evacuated.
: '''Caesar:''' Hmm. Excuse me, admiral. I need you to take me down there immediately. Afraid I'll have to insist.
: '''Six:''' Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Are you crazy?!
: '''Caesar:''' Depends on who you ask. I had something in my lab that I thought could help.
: '''Six:''' Help? You're not even supposed to be outside the keep.
: '''Rex:''' WHOO-HOO! Way to go, bro! First day on the job, and you already got a save!
: '''Six:''' Job?
: '''Rex:''' Oh, come on, admit it, Six. He just saved our chicharrones.
: ''[Caesar laughs]''
: '''Rex:''' What? What's so funny?
: '''Caesar:''' You always make me laugh when you try to speak Spanish.
: '''Holiday:''' We've pulled his records, and I've confirmes his DNA. It seems Rex really does have a brother.
: '''White Knight:''' If everything I've read about him is true, he could be an incredible asset to Providence.
: '''Six:''' Or a major liability.
: '''White Knight:''' All the more reason to keep him with us. Give him whatever he needs.
: '''Holiday:''' White's right, Six. He knows more about nanites than anyone on the planet. He helped invent them.
: '''Six:''' My point exactly. He's settling in?
: '''Rex:''' I guess so. Caesar's a little strange. Hard to believe he's actually my brother.
: '''Six:''' I'm happy for you, Rex. You always said you wanted to find your family.
: '''Rex:''' Thanks, but... You know that? I already did. Caesar may be my brother, but you, Holiday, Bobo, you're who I have a connection with.
: '''Bobo:''' Aww, now, see, I'm getting all misty.
: '''Caesar:''' There you are. Hmm. Nice view. Say, mijo, you think your cafeteria could whip up a pizza with pineapple and salmon? I've been craving one for days.
: '''Bobo:''' Connection, huh?

===Outpost===
:'''Valentina:''' Ugh! We were returning them to their natural habitat! What Providence does is wrong and against the natural order of things! You're a traitor to your own kind.
:'''Rex:''' That's creature's job is to ''exterminate'' mankind! It wanted to kill you!

===Haunted===
===Moonlighting===
===Without a Paddle===

===Written in Sand===
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, I need an uptade.
:'''Rex''': I'm right at the edge. Anything still alive in there is trying to get away from the sandstorm.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': It's not the storm they're running from. The nanites inside them are forcing the animals away. It's creating a kind of nanite-free zone.
:'''Rex''': Ha! We should call White Knight. Maybe he'll move here and leave us all alone.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': It's no laughing matter, Rex. It could be the most significant development since the original nanite event.
:'''Rex''': Yeah, yeah. Possible cures save the world-- Got it. I'll check it out.
:'''Bobo''': Hey, doc. You may wanna get a load of this over here.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Negative. The storm is moving in too fast. Just place a sensor and pack it in.
:'''Rex''': Hey. No. It couldn't be. Rex to base. We got trouble of the egomaniacal EVO kind.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Van Kleiss is here? Why am I not surprised?
:'''Rex''': I think the real question is, if everything else is in such a race to get out, why is he going on? 
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, wait.
:'''Rex''': Don't worry, doc. It's me. What could possibly happen?
:'''Skalamander''': RARGH! PTUH! They're nothing but dirt.
:'''Biowulf''': My senses-- Useless in all this sand.
:'''Van Kleiss''': This phenomenon deserves my personal attention. What we seek is nearby. I can feel it pushing against me.
:'''Rex''': ''[Rex emerges from the sand storm]'' Yeah?
:''[Skalamander grunts]''
:'''Rex''': ''[Rex kicks Skalamander]'' How about kicking against you, too?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Rex! You're not welcome here.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': Now, that hurt my feelings!
:''[Rex groaning]''
:''[Skalamander pins him to the sand, causing him to groan in pain]''
:''[Skalamander laughs]''
:'''Rex''': Aaah! Whoa!
:'''Van Kleiss''': If I never see your face again, It will be too soon!
:'''Rex''': Yeah? The feeling's-- Whoa! Mutual!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex? Rex, do you read me?
:''[Bobo coughing]''
:'''Bobo''': Okay, we gotta get outta here. I got sand in places I didn't even know I had places.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, if you can hear me, we're retreating to the safe zone. Rendezvous with us there.
:'''Rex''': AAAAH! WHOA-OHHHHHHH!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex coughs]''
:'''Rex''': Okay, Kleiss-- Go time! No EVO allies, just you and-- Whoa! Uh, sorry, buddy. Didn't mean to bring you along for the ride.
:'''Van Kleiss''': I don't need my EVO allies, when I can simply make more.
:'''Rex''': Don't get me wrong-- I love punching stuff. But anything you can do, I can undo better! We can do this all day. Or you can just spill it.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': Why are you causing this nanite-free zone?
:'''Van Kleiss''': How convenient it must be to make me the root of all evil. I'm not causing it. I've come to discover the source and destroy it.
:'''Rex''': This could be the cure to nanites.
:'''Van Kleiss''': And I live off nanites. What Providence calls a cure, I call death.
:'''Rex''': Really? Haven't we moved past this?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Huh?
:''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
:''[After Van Kleiss creates a scorpion EVO to attack Rex, it attacks him instead.]''
:'''Rex''': That is the funniest thing I have ever seen! Hang on-- I got to get this on video. ''[Takes out cell phone and starts recording Van Kleiss dodging the scorpion EVO.]''
:''[Van Kleiss panting]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Something's wrong. I should be controlling this creature.
:'''Rex''': Stinks to be you. Huh? You ruined my shot!
:'''Van Kleiss''': I believe we've found something more interesting.
:'''Rex''': You like to point out the obvious, don't you?
:'''Bobo''': Don't get me wrong-- I love the kid, but if we don't pull stakes now, we'll be combing dust outta all sorts of places for years.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Too late. Hold on to everything that's not tied down. This is going to be a bumpy... ride.
:'''Six''': Holiday? I trust you're all right?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': I'm fine, Six. But Rex is still out there-- With Van Kleiss. I can't reach him.
:'''Six''': We'll prep a rescue party. Prepare to come aboard.
:'''Rex''': Hey!
:'''Van Kleiss''': This is not simply a nanite-free zone. Something is stealing the nanites from our bodies. If we linger here too long, we may both find ourselves defenseless against the other.
:'''Rex''': Well, then, we'd better blow this joint. And when I say &quot;we&quot; I mean &quot;me&quot;.
:''[Rex tries to escape and fails]''
:'''Rex''': AAAAAAAAH!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': If either of us is to escape this place, we will have to work together.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': What exactly are you suggesting?
:'''Van Kleiss''': A temporary truce.
:'''Rex''': An extremely temporary truce.
:'''Van Kleiss''': We'll work our way to the center of the nanite storm.
:'''Rex''': No, we work our way out of the nanite storm and get Providence in here to figure out what's happening.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Providence? They can't be trusted.
:'''Rex''': Them? Didn't you try to take over New York? And Europe? And the world?
:'''Van Kleiss''': You need to listen to me, Rex. Without a powers, you're nothing but a child.
:'''Rex''': Oh, yeah? Truce over! Okay. This is awkward. Hey, is it just me, or are you getting really dust?
:'''Van Kleiss''': It's happening faster than I thought.
:'''Rex''': What's happening faster? If you know something, you'd better spit it out, or-- Whoa! It all looks fossilized. Like it's made completely out of... sand.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Not only are there no nanites here, this is pure silicone. There are no other elements-- No carbon, calcium, hydrogen. It appears that this zone not only destroys nanites, but is--
:'''Rex''': Squeezing the life from the Earth. This isn't sand. This is me!
:''[Rex whimpering]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': These glyphs-- There's something familiar about them. Sumatran? Mesopotamian?
:'''Rex''': Less geeking, more escaping!
:'''Van Kleiss''': We need to find the epicenter of this maze. These glyphs may hold the answer.
:'''Rex''': Only if one says &quot;exit sign.&quot;
:'''Van Kleiss''': No need to panic, Rex. We have at least twenty minutes before fossilization-- Give or take.
:'''Rex''': &quot;Don't panic&quot;-- Says the guy who used to be dirt.
:''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
:'''Rex''': We're turning into walking litter boxes, and you're checking out caveman graffiti? No wonder I'm always kicking your butt.
:'''Van Kleiss''': You don't have an investigative bone in your body, do you? So strongheaded-- Just like your mother. ''[Rex is silent]'' No, you don't like that, do you-- That I know more about you than you do?
:'''Rex''': Skip the head games. Isn't exactly a good time.
:'''Van Kleiss''': No, but perhaps it is time for some truth. We may perish down here, Rex. Ask me anything you want about the past, and I'll answer it.
:'''Rex''': ''[looks at his own slowly fossilizing body]'' Sell it somewhere else. I'm not buying.
:''[walks away]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Oh, so the great and powerful Providence has finally come through on their promise to help you remember your past.
:'''Rex''': Something better-- Someone who was actually there at the Nanite Event.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Aha. Your brother, Caesar.
:''[Van Kleiss chuckles evilly]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': I've been following you both very closely since his... miraculous reappearance. Even if you don't want to hear what I have to say, this one's for free. Do not place your trust in Caesar. He's not the man you believe him to be.
:'''Rex''': ''[creates his BFS and holds it at Van Kleiss' throat]'' What are you getting at?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Oh, no, no. That's not how this works. It isn't my turn. Quid pro quo, Rex. If you want to know more-- Why don't we start with something simple? Rylander's Omega Nanite. I know it's inside you.
:'''White Knight''': Status uptade?
:'''Six''': Still no fix on Rex. Scanners can't cut through the storm, so we're moving in to stage a recon.
:'''White Knight''': I will not risk everyone on board that ship for one agent. Not even that agent.
:''[Holiday subtly ends the call. Then to Six]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Whoops. Guess the satellite feed went down. Nasty sand.
:''[Six smirks]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Caesar? Wanted you to know we haven’t found him yet.
:'''Caesar''': Found who?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex.
:'''Caesar''': Right. Ah. Sorry. That was, uh, fifteen minutes ago. I've done about five hundred task since then. Try calibrating the keep's sensors to search for traces of Selenium. It's something Rex naturally gives off, like dandruff.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': I-- Really? Hmm. Okay, thanks.
:'''Van Kleiss''': So what you're saying is, the motor runs off of gravity and the only exhausts are atoms of selenium.
:'''Rex''': Now you. Squid Pro... Whatever. The nanites, the Event. What started all this?
:'''Van Kleiss''': He didn't tell you? I'm not surprised. It was Caesar.
:''[Rex pushes Van Kleiss to nearest wall and take out his BFS once again]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Wasteful, Rex.
:'''Rex''': You're lying!
:'''Van Kleiss''': Hardly. Your brother is responsible for the most significant catastrophe in human history. You have to admit that as brilliant as Caesar is, he's... not quite right. Am I telling you something that you haven't already noticed?
:''[Rex groans]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': HAAAH!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Van Kleiss coughing]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': You seem to have awoken some sort of defense mechanism.
:'''Rex''': What are they defending? Rocks?
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Before we're totally devoid of nanites, we need to end this now-- Together.
:'''Rex''': Back to back!
:'''Van Kleiss''': What?
:'''Rex''': Haven't you ever read a comic book? Back to back! No way. These markings-- They're not hieroglyphics. They're circuit boards. This whole cave, this valley-- It's one giant circuit board. These are data conduits-- Ms. Hubs!
:'''Van Kleiss''': You're right. These spirals are solid-state storage-- The standard design for a firewall in a CPU.
:'''Rex''': Did you just say I'm right? Now that I know what we're dealing with, it's a simple matter of-- Hacking in. This is malo-- Muy malo. Van Kleiss, meet the psycho computer who calls herself--
:'''Van Kleiss''': Zag-RS?
:'''Rex''': How do you know that? ''[Zag-RS notices them and attacks them]'' You know Zag-RS? How?
:'''Van Kleiss''': She was designed as a decontamination program at the original nanite laboratory. Her task was to destroy any rogue nanites that escaped from the holding tanks.
:'''Rex''': She did a great job. Whoever designed her should be taken out and beaten with a tendril.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Caesar designed her.
:'''Rex''': I'm gonna have to have a chat with my brother when this is over.
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Focus, you fool. If we're to survive this, we have to use whatever nanites we have left to shut her down.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': No problemo! Ah, come on! Stay up! Show off!
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': Well, this bites.
:''[Rex straining]''
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': Didn't I leave you in orbit? Shouldn't you have burned up in re-entry or something?
:'''Zag-RS''': Re-entry resulted in a hard desert landing. This unit faced complete system failure. Salvation came from integration with the host space station power cell, where new initiatives were established.
:'''Rex''': Turning the world into a sandbox?
:'''Zag-RS''': Correct. The prevention of organic infection by elimination of organic matter and securing the Earth core system. Soon, this world will function without flaw.
:'''Rex''': Van Kleiss! Change of plan! While, I've got Zaggy occupied, you go and warn Providence before it's too late!
:'''Van Kleiss''': There's no time. Her strength is growing exponentially. To achieve victory, you must trust me.
:'''Rex''': Trust you?! That's comedy gold! Even if I was that big of a doof, neither one of us had enough power to fight back!
:'''Van Kleiss''': That's not entirely true.
:'''Rex''': Huh?
:'''Van Kleiss''': I've not been completely honest with you.
:'''Rex''': Stunned-- Really.
:'''Van Kleiss''': The Omega Nanite within you has a self-replicating program. You can create your own nanites.
:'''Rex''': What?! Why didn't you tell me!
:'''Van Kleiss''': A calculated emission.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': No way.
:'''Van Kleiss''': There-- That is the heart of Zag-RS. Strike while you can!
:'''Rex''': Oh, yeah! Now we're talking! Normally, I don't fight girls, but this time I'll make... A big... giant... robot exception!
:'''Dr. Holiday''': I found him, Six-- twenty kilometers northeast. There's a huge spike in trace selenium.
:'''Six''': Charge all weapons.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': The storm's starting to break. But please don't crash.
:'''Rex''': YAAAH!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': That's not fair! It worked in the movie!
:''[Rex whimpers]''
:''[Rex groaning]''
:'''Rex''': AAAH!
:'''Zag-RS''': You have miscalculated, human. The more nanites you replicate, the more energy you supply me. 7.5 seconds until I overtake your production.
:''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
:'''Zag-RS''': 4.3 seconds.
:'''Van Kleiss''': AAAAAAAAAH!
:'''Rex''': YAAAAAAH! One psycho robot down, one supervillain to chicken! Finally!
:'''Bobo''': What, you never heard the term &quot;fashionably late&quot;?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Your nanite-replicating function seems to be working well. Most of Zag-RS' alterations have been expunged.
:'''Rex''': Meaning... What?
:'''Bobo''': You ain't gonna wash away at high tide.
:'''Caesar''': This is my design.
:'''Rex''': Great-- My brother created Zag-RS.
:'''Caesar''': Evidently. Though her evolution into some sort of sentient nanite-slayer is most curious.
:'''Six''': Curious?
:'''Rex''': What about what Van Kleiss said?
:'''Caesar''': You mean I'm to blame for the original nanite event? Why don't we ask her? Wait! Interface protocols. Code designate Zag-RS. Respond.
:'''Zag-RS''': Dr. Salazar. Good morning. How may I assist you?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Stand down, gentlemen. Zag-RS has been successfully rebooted. But her memory has been wiped clean.
:'''Rex''': What? You got to be kidding me!
:'''Caesar''': That's interesting. Hmm. Van Kleiss must have implemented a program dump before he left you. It's the only logical conclusion.
:'''Rex''': Program dump?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Do not place your trust in Caesar. He's not the man you believe him to be.
:'''Rex''': Great. So now all we've got is a lame decontamination program with a GPS lady's voice?
:'''Caesar''': GPS lady? Hardly.
:'''Rex:''' I was making a joke.
:'''Caesar''': Don't you recognize it? When I programmed her, I wanted a voice that meant safety, protection, caring. Rex, this is our mother's voice.
:'''Rex''': ''[shocked]'' Mama?

===Night Falls===
: '''Rex:''' If she's not really our grandmother, why are you calling her ''aubuela''?
: '''Caesar:''' There may not be a biological connection but she practically ran the entire town. When you were a boy, you spent every summer here.
: '''Rex:''' I wish I could remember...or any of this.
===Hard Target===
: '''Rex:''' &quot;It's Breach! She's-&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Messing with you, Rex. Did you actually see on her the other side?&quot;
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Well, no but...OK, why Hong Kong?&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Because it's on the other side of the world, because she's seriously messed up.&quot;
: '''Cricket:'''&quot; Kind of like our place.&quot; 
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Trust me. She's back in Abysus laughing it off with the rest of the Pack. Besides, I'm not that easy to find.&quot;
: (''Removes the white towel to reveal her shoulder-length black hair partly dyed a deep plum and having donned a dark gray overall dress'')
: '''Rex:''' &quot;OK, Rex. Bad intro. Take a do-over. Like the new look.&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Wow. A compliment.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Skywdd:''' &quot;And that's when Circe goes all [[w:Siren (mythology)|siren]] and blasts the bus driver's pants clean off.&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;Lucky shot. Hit the exact frequency of polyester.&quot;
:'''Tuck:''' &quot;Good thing his boxers were cotton.&quot;
:'''Rex''' (''uncomfortable'')''':''' &quot;Good one. Uh, Circe, remember when you took down that sea monster in Cabo Luna?&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;Please, Rex, I'd rather not remember that right now.&quot;
:'''Skywdd:''' Geez, Rex. Buzzkill.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Stop it.&quot;
:'''Skywdd:''' &quot;What's with him?&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;Breach lag. Let clean over his bedtime.&quot;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;That and my early morning snooze. By the way, you were right. Breach wasn't after you. She freed Quarry. Got this from the Providence security feed.&quot;
:'''Skywdd:''' &quot;Quarry?&quot;
:'''Tuck:''' &quot;He's lose?&quot;
:'''Cricket:''' &quot;Oh no.&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;You saw Breach and came back ''here!'' What if she followed you!?&quot;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Don't worry. If Breach were here, I'd feel it. She's here.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Breach:''' &quot;Hey, girlfriend.&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Get out of here, Breach!&quot;
: '''Breach:''' &quot;But Van Kleiss has so been wanting to chat.&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Then deliver a message for him! &quot;
: (''Uses her ultrasonic bursts on Breach, who creates a portal behind her, knocking her out with her own sonic abilities)''
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Let her go, Breach!!&quot;
: '''Breach:''' &quot;Oh, sorry, Rex. She's gonna save my skin. V.K.'s tough on failure, remember?&quot;
: (''Teleports away with an unconscious Circe on her shoulder'')
: '''Rex:''' &quot;NO!!&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Hold that thought. You can come out now. I got that creeped out feeling.&quot;
:'''Breach:''' &quot;Peek a boo.&quot;
: '''Skwydd:''' &quot;It's her!'' She took Circe.&quot;
: '''Rex:''' But not to Van Kleiss. You never went to Abysus, did you? You slipped her into your little pocket dimension. Let her go, Breach!
: '''Breach:''' And I agree to that...why?
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Because you wouldn't want Van Kleiss to see this. I'm thinking a trade is in order.&quot;
: (''Breach releases Circe, who is caught by Skwydd'')
: '''Circe:''' &quot;I hate you, Breach.&quot;

===A Family Holiday===
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' The pace of study has been staggeringly slow. There have been no significant advancements in nanite research since the original event. Simply put, Providence is not doing enough. What is required is not a military response, but a serious, thoughtful reaction, a scientific answer. The poor and afflicted deserve more. The world, deserves more. Let me introduce Diane. Mother of three. Diane has been diagnosed as incurable, a lost cause. Since then, she's been treated like an animal, locked away from her family... No hope on the horizon. Until now. At Moses Labs, we don't rely on tanks, guns, or secret weapons-- Only an unwavering belief that whatever science breaks, science can fix. Welcome back, Diane.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Happy birthday, little sister.
:'''Rex:''' Hope that I paid the bills. This is going to be expensive.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Caesar:''' Release the hounds.
:''[a door opens revealing some Evo hounds]''
:'''Rex:''' Huh? Whoa!
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Heh! I thought that was just a figure of speech. You're a sick puppy.
:'''Rex:''' Aah! Not cool, bro!
:''[Rex panting]''
:'''Rex:''' ''[Spanish accent]'' Agua, por favor.
:'''Caesar:''' Water second, probes first.
:'''Rex:''' No offense, but being a guinea pig is a lot less fun when it's you instead of Holiday.
:'''Caesar:''' Don't I run the biometric tests with the same efficiency?
:'''Rex:''' How are we related? Have you looked at Holiday?
:'''Bobo Haha:''' She ain't my species and even I know she's a hottie.
:'''Caesar:''' She is... very smart.
:'''Rex:''' Where is the Doc anyway? She usually can't wait to get her hands on me.
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Saw her this morning, looking pretty grim.
:'''Agent Six:''' It's her sister. Her sister's birthday to be precise. Holiday gets introspective this time of year.
:'''Caesar:''' Her sister? Oh, is she smart too?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hey guys. Can't talk. Hangar!
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Ah, human dames. I don't know how you guys keep up.
:''[Dr. Holiday pants]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Thank you for coming, Dr. Moses. It's a genuine honor.
:'''Rex:''' Who the heck is that guy? Why is Holiday acting all fangirl around him?
:'''Caesar:''' It's Dr. Brandon Moses, the leading researcher in technogenic transmorphing! If anyone's going to develop a kill  for EVOs, it's going to be him!
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Now, that's actin' fan-girl.
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Not the worst I've seen.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Can you help her?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Beverly would be an excellent candidate for my treatments. Have her transported to my facility.
:'''Rex:''' Hold up! I know you have a bunch of letters after your name, but curing EVOs is what I do. Some of them--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Some you just can't handle, Rex. Dr. Moses' research goes to places you don't, so if you don't mind-- 10 minutes, then we'll be in the air. Thank you, doctor. I've earned 5 years' worth of personal time, Knight. I plan to use it all. 
:'''White Knight:''' I don't like it, but I like your sister even less. Go for your &quot;cure&quot;, Holiday. But if it doesn't work, don't bring her back.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Agent Six:''' What do you really know about Dr. Moses?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I know what I saw.
:'''Agent Six:''' You're not taking her to the doctor for a checkup. Has he handed you supporting data?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Why won't you let me have this? It's the first glimmer of hope I've had since Rex got here.
:'''Agent Six''': I think you've lost your objectivity. If you can't help her--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That's the point! I can't! I need this cure. If you won't help me, stay out of my way!
:'''Rex:''' Any chance she's right?
:'''Agent Six:''' Hope she is.
:'''Rex:''' But we're not going to sit around and do nothing in case she's wrong, right? Today you're my sidekick-- Not a fashion-challenged soccer mom blocking my mojo. If there's any chance of playing hero for Holiday, I call dibs.
:'''Security guard:''' Dr. Moses' inventions are not for public viewing-- Especially not by Providence.
:''[Security guard grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' That &quot;soccer mom&quot; comment really got to you, huh? When did science geeks start packing heat? Huh?
:'''Agent Six:''' Check the machine.
:'''Rex:''' I'm no engineer, but as far as I can tell, all this thing does is light up and go &quot;ping&quot;. They never cured it! This was a scam!
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday's in trouble. Holiday, Moses is a fraud. There is no cure!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' What's going on here? Moses, what is this?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Business, Dr. Holiday-- Big business. Now, if you wouldn't mind stepping aside so I can collect your sister--
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday?! What's happening?!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Or don't step aside. I'm good either way.
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday! We've got our coordinates. Go!
:'''Rex:''' It's a hundred miles away!
:'''Agent Six:''' Correct.
:'''Rex:''' Hold on to your swords, old man!
:''[Dr. Holiday grunts]:''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I trusted you!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' A bad trait, a scientist. But look on the bright side-- You won't be locked in a cell anymore. That was just... Shameful.
:'''Rex:''' Be the hero. Be the hero. Be the--
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' ...Zero. You'll be a lot less grouchy in a few seconds, pal. Half cured? That's new.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' They've got Beverly.
:'''Rex:''' You wanna talk to her?
:'''Agent Six:''' Now's not the time.
:'''Rex:''' And when exactly is. She needs a friend, Six.
:'''Agent Six:''' I... prefer to keep it professional. Keeps people from getting hurt.
:'''Rex:''' Dude. Take off the sunglasses. She's already hurting. If I were you--
:''[Six gets a radio signal]''
:'''Agent Six:''' If you were me, you'd have a lead. Get Holiday. Dust off in 3.
:'''Rex:''' Where are we going?
:'''Agent Six:''' Moses may be a genius but not because he can cure EVOs. He overpowers them-- Hypercharges the nanites with excess energy to push their transformations.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That's why Rex only partially cured that EVO he stripped the EVO of its extra power. But at its core, it was still incurable.
:'''Rex:''' We learned something new today. Great.
:'''Agent Six:''' Gets worse. Moses has turned his tech into a cottage industry. He takes incurables and weaponizes them to sell to the highest bidder.
:'''Rex:''' Don't sugarcoat it, Six.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' How did you find this out?
:'''Agent Six:''' I called some former associates-- People who know things, things that good people shouldn't know about.
:'''White Knight:''' Question-- Why is my keep on an unapproved mission?
:'''Rex:''' It's cool, Knight. We're helping Holiday.
:'''White Knight:''' No! We had a deal! Return to base immediately!
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's over guys. I can't drag you down because of my mistake. I won't.
:'''Agent Six:''' Keep returning to base.
:''[Knight ends the transmission]''
:'''Agent Six:''' I said the keep is returning to base. I didn't say we'd be on the keep.
:'''Rex:''' You okay?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hanging in there.
:'''Rex:''' Hanging in there is good. I don't like to see you unhappy, you know. I-I mean--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I know what you mean. Thanks.
:'''Agent Six:''' Better luck next time.
:''[Rex gasps]''
:'''Rex:''' Jealous much, sidekick?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Who is that?
:'''Rex:''' Someone who knows things good people shouldn't.
:'''Five:''' Machine boy! Like the new ax? You owe me for the last one.
:'''Agent Six:''' We'll talk music later, Five. You have word on Moses?
:'''Five:''' Five don't lie. Your guy is running an auction-- Tonight.
:'''Agent Six:''' I owe you.
:'''Five:''' She's a lot more beautiful than you let on, Six. Try not to screw it up this time.
:'''Agent Six:''' You coming?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' The EVO is the military ordinance of the future. We all know it. You drop one of these babies into your neighbor's backyard, and it's game over. But to get the most annihilation out of your nanites... you need me.
:'''Human EVO:''' You promised to cure!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' My technology not only amps up their abilities, but, for an extra charge, will modify their behavior to suit your needs. What am I bid for this army of one?
:'''Agent Six:''' ''[Bursting in]'' I'll open with extradition for crimes against humanity!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' ''[to his bidders]'' Wait! This is just a minor disturbance.
:''[Moses groans]''
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' ''[to Holiday]'' Do you know what you just cost me, all for one hopless wreck?!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Holiday hits Moses]'' Her name is Beverly.
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Then give sissy a hug.
:'''Dr Holiday:''' No! Don't hurt her, Rex!
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, sure. Handle with care. Whoa! Can you tell her that, too?
:'''Agent Six:''' Going nowhere?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Uh, let's not be ''[chuckling]'' rash.
:''[Holiday slaps Moses]''
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' I'm gonna have to get you a dictionary. Rash will not help anyone, especially not Beverly.
:''[Holiday grabs Moses]''
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Who can still be cured.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Holiday drops Moses]'' What?
:'''Agent Six:''' ''[Brandishing his swords]'' No games. Truth or dead.
:'''Rex:''' Fight still going! Need assistance! Big time! Whoa!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' I did invent a machine that de-powered nanites, almost. But the bonds and nanite particles were too strong to break. Instead, I discovered that I could reverse the polarity to its maximum, overpowering the nanites. It's easier and-- Profitable.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' But you did isolate the bonds? So, you can break them!
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa! Ugh! Unh! Okay, I called hero, but I need some extra kick for my sidekick! Unh! Seriously!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Time to earn a return on my investments! Kill them all!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa! Whoa! 
:'''White Knight:''' I won't even bother telling you the trouble you're in. Catch those other EVOs and report to my office the moment you're back.
:'''Rex:''' What other EVO-O-O-O-Os?
:''[Rex turns around and notices the EVOs behind him]''
:'''Rex:''' Ooos?
:'''Rex:''' Think they got it?
:'''Agent Six:''' They'd better. We're busy.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Unh! Okay. That's the flux transponder. That's the nanite energizer. Don't you explode on me-- Not now. Aah!
:'''Rex:''' I'll hand the one crazed sister. You take the other. It'll be like a double date. Don't bother... your sister... while she's working!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I can see what he did, but... uh... there's no time! I can't-- I can't help her! It's over.
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday-- Rebecca-- You are the strongest, smartest woman I have ever met, and the most stubborn.
:''[Six removes his glasses and looks her in the eyes]''
:'''Agent Six:''' You never give up. If there's a way to help your sister, find it-- now!
:''[Slight pause. Holiday smiles and puts Six's glasses back on his face then leaves]''
:'''Agent Six:''' That's my girl. New plan. Corral her to the machine.
:'''Rex:''' Plans are good! Yah! What you got, Doc?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Moses was right. The polarity of the nanite energizer is wrong! I have to amplify and reverse it. But I don't have-- Six... Your magna blades-- But it would be too dangerous. Six!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six!
:'''Agent Six:''' Is it working?
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's working.
:'''Rex:''' Six, get out of there!
:'''Agent Six:''' You called hero on this one, Rex! Finish it-- For her! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Unh! Get them out, Rex-- Both of them-- Now!
:''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
:'''Rex:''' Doc! You gotta see this!
:''[Dr. Holiday panting]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[as she's trying to revive Six]'' Don't you do this to me! I will hate you forever if you--
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:''[Six coughs]''
:'''Beverly:''' Rebecca?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Beverly!
:'''Rex:''' That was... I'm... Wow! Six, I've never said it before and I'll probably never say it again, but... I'm honored to be your partner.
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Mushy stuff? Oh! Glad I missed it.
:'''Rex:''' But don't ever do anything like that again.
:'''Agent Six:''' Agreed. But you have to admit though... It was worth it.
:''[Dr. Holiday and Beverly laughs]''
:'''White Knight:''' We're not running a boarding house here. No more relatives.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I just need her for a few more tests, sir. She was only 13 when she went Evo, and she's in a fragile state.
:'''Beverly:''' Woo Hoo!
:''[Beverly laughing]''
:'''Beverly:''' Rex just took me on a ride through the Zoo on his cycle.
:'''White Knight:''' &quot;Fragile.&quot; Right.
:'''Rex:''' We're going to the mall.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Are you asking permission?
:'''Rex:''' No. I'm asking if we can have some money. Providence pays me nada.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Can I have a word with you?
:'''Agent Six:''' Sure this is a good idea? Could ruin your hero status with Holiday.
:'''Rex:''' It's funny. After meeting Bev, out of nowhere, it hit me that Doc Holiday is just a little too old for me. So, since I'm out of the way, I guess there's nothing stopping you anymore, huh, &quot;hero&quot;?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Well... right. I guess... I'll set up those tests.
:''[Holiday starts to walk past Six. Six takes a hold of her hand]''
:'''Agent Six:''' Or... we could get some dinner.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Outside? In the real world? Like real people? Like a--
:'''Agent Six:''' Yes. Like a date.
:''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's about time.

===Hong Kong Nights===

===Whispers in the Dark===
===Cutting It Close===

===Exposed===
:'''White Knight''': All Providence personnel, this is a priority-one alert.
:'''Agent Six''': Do not panic. Remember your training.
:'''White Knight''': In all my years of working at Providence, never have I been put in such a situation. These interlopes could be anywhere at any given moment.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Hey, what's all the-- Whoa! Sorry. We're late.
:'''Bobo Haha''': You can't prove a thing!
:'''White Knight''': Watch what you say. Watch what you do. The very future of Providence may depend upon it.
:'''Rex Salazar''': So, what's going on? Van Kleiss attack in the HQ again?
:'''Agent Six''': Worse.
:'''Diane Farrah:''' I'm Diane Farrah, and for the first time ever, we've got an exclusive all-access pass inside the top-secret organization known as Providence. To uncover for our viewers, all the juiciest behind-the-scenes details of this most secret of institutions. And to find out the real story behind that man of mystery you've all wondered about for so long.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Aah.
:'''Diane Farrah''': All your questions are about to be answered. Welcome to Providence Exposed! ''[Camera closes-up on her face]'' On Ultimate Exposure! And cut. Great into, guys. Okay, moving on.
:'''Rex Salazar''': This is cool.
:'''Agent Six''': This is wrong.
:'''Rex Salazar''': How's my hair?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Delicious.
:'''White Knight''': Ladies and gentlemen, the delightful Miss Farrah and her crew have used the Freedom of Information Act to force.
:''[White Knight clears his throat]''
:'''White Knight''': To allow them access to a day in the life of Providence. And to ensure you are afforded the very best Providence has to offer, I'm assigning our top man as your personal guide.
:''[Rex moves towards the news team]''
:'''White Knight''': Six, please show Miss Farrah whatever she wants to see.
:'''Agent Six''': Agent Six is the name. On behalf of Providence, I'd like to welcome you to our facility.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Spare me the small talk. I'm here to ask the tough questions, and I expect truthful answers.
:'''Agent Six''': Shoot.
:'''Diane Farrah''': So.. is there a Mrs. Six?
:''[Combs her hair]''
:'''Bobo Haha''': Smooth.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Like you'd have done better.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Are you kidding? They want exposed. I'm going to give that reporter a piece of my mind and a few other pieces while I'm at it. I got stories that'll make them run screaming for the hills.
:''[Bobo Haha laughs]''
:'''Agent Six''': If you'll follow me, I'll be happy to show you one of our nanite research labs up close and personal. EVO control is our primary area of concentration, but Providence is focused on a great many studies. Each employing the best and the brightest our planet has to offer.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Thanks, Six. You know, this is my brother's lab. He's only like the smartest guy in the entire world. Yeah, being the best at what we do totally runs in our family.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Not a good time.
:'''Agent Six''': That experiment is highly sensitive.
:'''Diane Farrah''': So, Agent Six, how did you become a Providence agent?
:'''Agent Six''': That's also highly sensitive.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Amazing story though about how I became a Providence agent. See, there was this big accident.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Good morning. My name is Dr. Rebecca Holiday, And I'm the chief research officer for the Providence Laboratory Facilities - specializing in the study of evology. Providence's number one priority is the security of our planet. And through the studying and understanding the forces that threaten us--
:'''Diane Farrah''': Let's cut to the chase, shall we, doctor?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Oh, um, okay.
:'''Diane Farrah''': How do you balance the threat of EVOs, the constant danger... with being a woman?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Uh.
:''[Dr. Holiday laughs nervously]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Oh, excuse me.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Speaking of studying, check this out. You can edit that, right?
:'''Diane Farrah''': We're all about the editing.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, maybe you could show these journalists some of your other duties, like what you're supposed to be doing right now, for instance.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, man. That's right. Come on. You're going to love this.
:'''Diane Farrah''': EVOs come from far and wide for a chance to be cured by this young man. How often do you do this?
:'''Rex Salazar''': At least once a week here at HQ. When I'm in other parts of the county or the world, Providence sets up a mobile cure station. There are a lot of people out there who need my help. I only wish I could get to them all. Wait. Um, let my try again. ''[after Rex can't cure an EVO]'' Shut it off.
:'''Diane Farrah''': But this is really good drama, Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I asked to be on TV. They didn't. Please give these people their privacy.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Come on, buddy. Everybody has an off day.
:'''Rex Salazar''': In front of millions of viewers? So much for everyone's favorite Providence man of mystery.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Well, they're just lucky they haven't had the camera on me yet. Oh man, talk about Ultimate Exposure. When I get through with them--
:'''Rex Salazar''': I just wish I could look cool on camera somehow.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Phbt! Good luck. The only way that's going to happen now is if some experimental EVOs busted out of their cages and went on a rampage so you could round them up and look like a hero.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Providence isn't known for being forthcoming with information. I hope this interview will change that. The people want answers and I fully expect them from you.
:'''White Knight''': Very well. What do you want to know?
:'''Diane Farrah''': For starters, how do you get fresh milk without any nanites in it?
:'''White Knight''': If you must know, it's passed through a powerful magnet that removes and neutralizes any nanite activity.
:'''Agent Six''': Observe.
:''[White Knight smacks lips]''
:'''White Knight''': Anything else?
:'''Diane Farrah''': Not at the moment, but I'll be back.
:'''White Knight''': I look forward to it.
:''[White Knight sips]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': So, Agent Six, what do you think about White Knight's obsession with staying nanite-free at the expense of human contact?
:'''Agent Six''': He's a man of many mysteries.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Look out! Coming through! Dangerous escaped EVOs on the loose! Stand back! Let a professional handle this!
:'''Diane Farrah''': Follow him.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Yeah, I'm kind of awesome.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Did you get them all?
:'''Rex Salazar''': How many did you release?
:'''Bobo Haha''': I don't know, three or four.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, which was it? Three or four?
:''[Rex Salazar gasps]''
:'''Agent Six''': Well then. Now that Rex's little demonstration is over, how about a visit to the Providence gift shop? On me.
:'''Diane Farrah''': How long has Providence had a gift shop?
:'''Agent Six''': Since 8:00 A.M. You want to tell me how a class by EVO got out of its electromagnetically-sealed container and just happened to cross paths with our tour?
:'''Rex Salazar''': It's not like this kind of thing doesn't happen here all the time. I just wanted it to happen this time, in front of the camera, all right?
:'''Agent Six''': Not all right. That last EVO-- You just helped it molt so it could grow. Its body is still out there somewhere, getting bigger.
:'''White Knight''': Providence is run like a finely tuned machine. Until you decide to throw a monkey wrench into the works.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Hey, pal, let's leave the comedy to me.
:'''White Knight''': And how is it exactly that these EVOs got out?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Okay, Mea Culpa. I may have accidentally knocked open a cage or two-- Or four.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': That fourth cage was electromagnetically sealed.
:'''Bobo Haha''': I didn't say it was easy.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': The EVO we had contained in there feeds on electricity. It must be kept away from any electrical current.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Then it sure is a good thing this whole place isn't full of electricity. Oh, wait.
:'''White Knight''': Find it. Subdue it. And most importantly, don't let that camera crew see it.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Eh, were wastin' time hunting this thing down when I could be on camera right now, giving those people a piece of my mind.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Hey, I only saw the EVOs empty husk before. What's the real thing look like anyway? Huh?
:'''Bobo Haha''': That.
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:''[Rex Salazar grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Any suggestions?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Can you make a soccer net?
:''[Rex Salazar and Bobo Haha grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Aha! Got you cornered now. There's no way out. You're overpowered.
:'''Bobo Haha''': You were saying?
:'''Agent Six''': You wanted to interview me. Now's your chance. Go.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Um... okay. Tell me, Six-- May I call you Six?-- What is the real truth behind the nanite event that created the EVOs?
:'''Agent Six''': That's classified.
:'''Diane Farrah''': What is your role, if any, in that event?
:'''Agent Six''': That's classified, too.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Are you always this talkative?
:'''Agent Six''': No comment.
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Wait. Let me do that again. You didn't get my good side. Which is my good side?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Your backside.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Agent Six, you promised you were taking us to the heart of the operation.
:'''Agent Six''': Right. The heart of the operation. This way.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': [Watching from a monitor] It went right.
:''[Rex goes to his right. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Camera right!
:''[Rex goes to the camera's right]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': How can you miss it now? It's six feet in diameter and weighs five hundred pounds!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Less criticizing, more helping!
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Try to steer it in the direction of Hallway twelve. We can isolate it in the atrium.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, we've got it contained there now.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': No, sorry. I was reading that backwards. Hallway twenty one.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, Hallway twenty one leads to the central core!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, so, no big deal. That's a cold-fission reactor, not electric, right?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, all electricity is converted from something-- Wind, solar, hydro-- At the central core!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Ohh.
:''[Providence Agent screams]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Uh-hoh.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, listen carefully and do exactly as I say because we're only going to get one shot at this.
:'''Diane Farrah''': One shot at what, doctor?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': The... future. Providence is the future. The future used to be the space program. Now the future is Providence and the science of EVOs.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Doc? Are you still there? We have a situation.
:'''Agent Six''': Just a minor downgrade of power during a routine relay check. Nothing to worry about.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Guys, I could really use some advice right about now!
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''White Knight''': Attention all Providence Personnel, we have a Level-One Priority...
:''[Realizes the reporters are present]''
:'''White Knight''': Drill. Repeat-- This is our daily drill in the Central Core-- Now.
:'''Agent Six''': Lunch bell. It's taco day. Anyone hungry?
:'''Diane Farrah''': Agent Six, while we appreciate the commemorative spoons and the tacos, I can't help but think that you've been hiding something from our viewers.
:'''Agent Six''': Not at all, ma'am. Providence is an open book.
:''[Rex Salazar screams]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': Cut! You're ruining the shot, Rex. Just be patient. I will get to you-- I promise.
:''[Rex Salazar groans]''
:'''Agent Six''': Get down.
:''[Diane Farrah gasps]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': That was... what you did.
:'''Agent Six''': Just doing my job, ma'am.
:'''Rex Salazar''': And I'm just doing mine!
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': You're not going anywhere now, buddy, except back to your-- Cage?
:'''White Knight''': We hope that you and the Ultimate Exposure team are enjoying our EVO containment demonstration, Miss Farrah. All part of readiness training here at Providence.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Can I quote you on that?
:'''White Knight''': Miss Farah, I'm not gonna stop you from filming, but for your own safety and the safety of your crew, please step back and let my people do what they do best. Alpha Team, I need a containment of the cafeteria, cube formation. Fire! Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm on it.
:'''Agent Six''': Stay here. This is the real deal.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Not on your life. Find an elevator. We're missing it.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Still not a good ti-i-i-i-i-me!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, big boy. No more crawl spaces. No more Hallways. Just you and me in a big, old hangar bay mano y mano.
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Huh?
:'''Bobo Haha''': ''[after Rex has been repeatedly beaten back by the Evo]'' Looks like you showed him.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Are you going to talk, or are you going to help?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Talk. Kidding! I'm helping! I'm helping!
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:''[Rex Salazar groaning]''
:''[Rex Salazar groaning]''
:''[Rex Salazar sighs]''
:''[Rex Salazar groaning]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': Please tell me you're getting all of this.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Providence's man of mystery strikes again. Ow! It-- it bit me!
:'''Diane Farrah''': Quick, grab some B-roll footage before they get rid of all the evidence.
:'''Rex Salazar''': You did see that I did all the heavy lifting and Six just took out the trash, right?
:'''Diane Farah''': Don't worry. The camera never lies.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Yes!
:'''Bobo Haha''': Good! Then get a load of this!
:'''Diane Farah''': Do you have something to say?
:''[Camera zooms in on Bobo]''
:'''Bobo Haha''': Oh... oh.
:''[Bobo mutters then passes out]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': I think we have everything we need.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I don't know how you guys came off looking, but yours truly rocked hard. Just call me Providence's Man of Mystery from now on. Oh, yeah! Stardom starts in five, four, three, two--
:'''Diane Farrah''': I'm Diane Farrah, and for the first time ever, we've got an exclusive all-access pass inside the top-secret organization known as Providence. To uncover for our viewers, all the juiciest behind-the-scenes details of this most secret of institutions.
:'''Rex Salazar''': We are so dead.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Nice knowing you, kid.
:'''Diane Farrah''': To find out the real story behind that man of mystery you've all wondered about for so long.
:'''Agent Six''': Agent Six is the name.
:'''Rex Salazar''': They did it.
:'''Bobo Haha''': They did.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': This is a news show? What is the world coming to?
:'''Diane Farrah''': Look out, ladies. Agent Six is the full package -- brains, brawn, and--
:'''Agent Six''': Highly sensitive.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Just what is he hiding behind those alluring, dark glasses of his?
:'''Agent Six''': That's classified.
:'''Diane Farrah''': He's the Providence agent you women wanted to get to know.
:'''Agent Six''': Up close and personal.
:'''Diane Farrah''': That's right, girls.
:'''Agent Six''': He's The real deal.
:'''Diane Farrah''': And he's known throughout Providence as--
:'''Agent Six''': The heart of the operation.
:'''Diane Farrah''': He's the organization's best-kept secret, the ultimate agent, and--
:'''Agent Six''': The man of many mysteries.
:'''Diane Farrah''': And, yes, ladies, he is single -- or is he?
:''[Dr. Holiday laughs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Excuse me.
:'''Agent Six''': No comment.
:''[Rex and Bobo Haha laughs]''
:'''White Knight''': Well, that's a relief.
:'''Rex Salazar''': ''[after the story airs]'' So, man of mystery, what's it like being a big star adored by women everywhere?
:'''Agent Six''': No comment.

===Touch and Go===
===The Siren's Lament===
* Flashbacks as to how Circe came to work for Van Kleiss.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Grounded===
===Six Minus Six===
===In Dreams===

===Lions and Lambs===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:''[Providence agents are standing in an industrial area, fingers on triggers. Rex flies in on jet pack and lands beside all the agents.]''
:'''Rex:''' Any sign? ''[Rex notices agents shaking in fear.]'' Alright then, who’s up for a burger, anyone? Tough crowd.
:''[Six walks up.]''
:'''Six:'''	These agents seem nervous. Haven’t they dealt with this situation before?
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, that's kind of the problem.
:''[Rex twitches, as if he is feeling Breach's presence.]''
:'''Providence Agent:''' Here she comes.
:''[Breach appears in front of them. They fire at her. She sends their missiles and agents away with red portals.]''
:'''Six:'''	How do we stop her?
:'''Rex:'''	''[Smack Hands.]'' Hit hard and keep clear of anything that glows.
:''[Breach has a collar around her neck like the one Van Kleiss wears, and a device on her chest like his only much larger and shackles are around her giant hands which look like Van Kleiss's bio-mechanical wrist. She opens a red portal. A giant jellyfish-like thing flies out at Six, then a large creature with a horn on its nose runs out. Rex jumps at Breach, she portals out, returns and the device on her chest starts sparking.]''
:'''Rex:'''	What's with the new toy, Breach?
:'''Breach:'''	''[Glares]'' Wouldn’t you like to know?
:''[T-Rex appears through a gold colored portal, sniffs Rex.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Seriously, where do you find these things? Let's see what you started out as, big guy. ''[Tries to cure.] Six? This... this isn't an EVO!'' It's an actual T-Rex! ...Six?
:''[Rex runs from T-Rex.]''
:'''Breach:'''	Have fun. ''[Leaves through red portal.]''
:''[Rex hides behind light pole, T-Rex pulls pole from ground, Rex falls to the ground.]''
:'''Six:'''	I take it this sort of thing doesn't happen all the time?
:'''Rex:''' Try never? This is all kinds of wrong.
:''[Rex makes BFS, runs at T-Rex; Six runs at T-Rex, jumps on and stabs it in back.]''
:'''Holiday:'''	Is that what I think it is?
:'''Six:''' You mean about to be extinct?
:'''Holiday:''' If you destroy the scientific find of a lifetime, it won’t be the only thing.
:'''Rex:'''	It's trying to eat us.
:'''Six:'''	You heard the lady. Take it down soft.
:'''Rex:'''	Easy for you to say.
:''[Rex lies on the ground holding the jaws open with Smack Hands and it slobbers on him.]''
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Video of T-Rex in confinement field. The T-Rex turns to dust.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Breach is powerful enough as it is, and now you're telling me she can travel through time?
:'''Holiday:'''	However she's doing it, I haven't worked out all the kinks yet. That dinosaur reverted to its actual age about less than two hours after arrival.
:'''Caesar:'''	Photo and deep scan analysis reveals some very interesting technology at work here. Van Kleiss has really stepped up his game.
:'''White Knight:''' Skip the fan talk. How do we stop it?
:'''Caesar:'''	Until I get my hands on the device, I'm not certain we can.
:'''White Knight:''' We have to bring her to our side.
:'''Rex:'''	The only way she's coming here is if she does it willingly.
:'''White Knight:''' How do you propose we persuade her?
:'''Rex:'''	With me. ''[Six and Holiday stare at him skeptically.]'' I can be very convincing. Okay, okay. I think she might still have a thing for me.
:'''Bobo:''' Atta boy, work it on the crazy chick.
:'''White Knight:''' I don't care how we do it as long as we get results. Providence is under the microscope. It is the worst time for Van Kleiss to gain the upper hand. Get to it. Bring her in.
:''[Six and Holiday walking out of the room together down the hall.]''
:'''Six:''' ''[To Holiday.]'' I need a word. Something's wrong with White.
:'''Holiday:'''	Oh. That. He’s always like this, Six.
:'''Six:'''	No. This is different. I know when something is bothering him. The secret meetings, the anxiety. He’s up to something.
:'''Holiday:'''	I'll see what I can find out.
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Rex on hoverboard, in Providence stealth suit.]''
:'''Rex:'''	WHOO-HOO! Works pretty good. After all, I built it. ''[Loses control of board for a moment.]''
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Van Kleiss's castle, Rex hiding by entrance.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Going in. ''[Pulls up stealth mask, disappears partly, runs past guard.]''
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Breach is hooked up to a large machine. Van Kleiss stands before her with a huge bank of controls and displays, spooky dark lighting. She screams.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' This is unacceptable, Breach. I need you to concentrate.
:'''Breach:''' It hurts.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Think of what I'm trying to achieve here. I cannot fail.
:''[Breach screams in agony and collapses.]''
:''[Rex looks down horrified, Van Kleiss grins, Breach screams and falls down.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I'll return when it recharges and we'll start again.
:''[Rex holds his hand out to her.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Why do you let him do this to you?
:'''Breach:''' Glory.
:'''Rex:'''	Van Kleiss's glory. Is he even noticing how you're tearing yourself apart for him? Have you ever heard him say thank you? What do you say we blow this joint, you and me? He's hurting you.
:'''Breach:'''	It's not real. It can't hurt you if it isn't real.
:'''Rex:'''	Breach, look at me. It is. I'm real, all of this is real. You don't have to live this way.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Why am I not surprised. Rex has come to rescue another of my lost sheep. Perhaps he'll try to save you next, Biowulf.
:'''Rex:'''	That depends. Is he housebroken yet?
:'''Biowulf:'''	I am no traitor.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	You’ve no doubt seen our little experiment. Breach shows great promise. She just needs a little fine tuning.
:'''Rex:'''	Then what? Go back in time and be king of the cavemen?
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Why not? It wouldn’t be much of a step down, now would it? Breach, if you would, remove our guest so we can continue. Practice makes perfect, or in your case, acceptable.
:''[Breach makes a red portal.]''
:'''Rex:''' Breach! Think about what you're doing.
:''[Van Kleiss grins, she runs and puts her arms around Rex, portals out with Rex.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Find her. Now.
:''[Mountains, snow, Rex shivering.]''
:'''Rex:'''	I'm glad you got us out of there, but where... are we?
:'''Breach:'''	When the snow is gone you can see forever.
:'''Rex:''' That's nice. Can we go now?
:'''Breach:''' I need to know if I can trust you.
:'''Rex:'''	You can trust me. I swear.
:''[Breach grabs his hand and hugs him. He opens his eyes. They are standing on a shiny endless reflective surface, reflecting stars.]''
:'''Rex:'''	This is different.
:'''Breach:'''	Do you see it?
:'''Rex:'''	Um--
:'''Breach:'''	This is where the stillness comes from.
:'''Rex:'''	You. Are weird. So what exactly does this mean? Are you coming with me or is this some kind of test?
:'''Breach:'''	I need you to see it.
:'''Rex:'''	Ah... A test.
:'''Breach:'''	Do you wanna understand?
:'''Rex:'''	Not exactly sure. ''[She glares, he waves his hands in front of him.]'' Yes, I mean yes. I mean--
:'''Breach:''' Follow me. ''[Walks through red portal.]''
:''[Another place. A door, a doll, a bear and a fire hydrant float in space.]''
:''[Rex hanging upside down, she is holding him by his ankle above a swirling pink vortex.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Ahh! What happened? I thought we were getting along fine!
:'''Breach:'''	Why are you here?
:'''Rex:''' Good question. Where exactly is here? Can we go somewhere else now, somewhere like, on Earth?
:''[She drops him. He screams and lands on the floor between some stacks of books.]''
:'''Rex:''' You sure know how to pick'em. What kind of tripped out dimension is this? ''[Librarian walks by and shushes him.]'' Oh. College.
:'''White Knight:''' ''[On communicator in Rex's right ear.]'' Rex, report. Where on earth have you been?
:'''Rex:'''	Apparently every place but.
:'''White Knight:''' I need to know you can handle this otherwise we're going to try a different approach.
:'''Rex:'''	You need to chill out, White. I’m making progress. ''[Rex puts his hand to his left ear.]'' Dr. Holiday, are you there?
:'''Holiday:'''	Tracking shows you’re with Breach. Are you okay?
:'''Rex:'''	Fine? Creeped out but fine. I can't bring Breach back to Providence, White would just lock her up and that won't help.
:'''Holiday:'''	Where will you take her?
:'''Rex:'''	I'll think of something. Just keep White Knight off my case.
:''[Breach appears behind him.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Why don't you let me pick out where we go next?
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[White Knight hands folded moving nervously.]''
:'''White Knight:''' He says he's making progress.
:'''Black Knight:''' The committee is losing confidence. They want results, not excuses.
:'''White Knight:''' Then that's exactly what they’ll get.
:''[Scene change. Rex sits across from Breach in a booth at a bowling alley.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Soooo, don't like bowling, huh? I figured with the extra arms you'd be a natural.
:'''Breach:'''	I'm not supposed to like you, but I do.
:'''Rex:''' ''[smiles]'' We're teenagers. At least assuming you are. Doing what we are not supposed to is part of the job. French fry?
:''[She takes it and then drops it.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Do you remember anything? From before you... changed?
:'''Breach:'''	I remember everything. And nothing.
:'''Rex:''' Naturally. Why did I even bother to ask. Listen, Breach. I'm not going to pretend I understand you, ''[Puts his hand on her giant hand]'' but I can help. If you let me.
:''[The machine starts to glow, they jump to their feet, other people look startled.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Nothing to worry about. Everything's fine.
:'''Breach:'''	I can't, I can't stop it.
:'''Rex:'''	Let me try. ''[He tries and it knocks him onto the floor sparking.]''
:'''Breach:'''	Van Kleiss has control. They're coming.
:''[Van Kleiss busts through the door with The Pack following. Raises bio-mechanical hand, palm of it glows, device on Breach's chest turns off.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Okay, do your thing. Get us out of here. Anywhere.
:''[she tries]''
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	You can't take what doesn't belong to you.
:'''Rex:'''	I didn't take you for the jealous type. ''[Rex shoots bowling balls at Van Kleiss with his cannon, hits Biowulf and Skalamander in the face and Van Kleiss punches the balls aside with his bio-mechanical hand.]''
:'''Rex:''' Breach, let's go!
:''[Breach rides off with Rex on hoverboard, Van Kleiss and Pack follow on three flying fish EVO's with harnesses and big teeth. They dodge and crash Van Kleiss into a window, and land in a park.]''
:''[Breach and Rex stand together on a footbridge looking down into the water.]''
:'''Breach:''' ''[Walks to bridge and looks at her reflection, Rex follows.]'' Will they hurt me?
:'''Rex:'''	Providence? Not if I can help it.
:'''Breach:'''	They did before. Ms. Smarty Pants—she likes to hurt me.
:'''Rex:''' I'll give you my word, if you come back to Providence, I promise no one will hurt you.
:'''Breach:'''	We can be together forever and ever. ''[She walks off bridge, ducks swimming in water.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Uh... something like that. What am I getting myself into? We gotta move. I bet my brother has already figured out how to turn that thing of yours off.
:''[The ducks fly off, they look and see a reflection in the pond of White Knight's ship.]''
:''[White Knight walks up followed by Providence fighter planes.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Uh guys, what are you doing?!
:'''White Knight:''' If you can't have something done right, do it yourself.
:''[They shoot at Breach, she screams, Rex is horrified.]''
:'''Rex:''' No! No! No! ''[walks up bridge to White Knight]'' Do have any idea what you just did?
:''[Breach's chest device turns on, she screams, Providence shoots at her.]''
:'''Rex:''' Is this what you wanted? Congratulations! ''[runs to Breach]'' Breach! Wait!
:'''Breach:''' Liar! ''[Throws red portal at Rex, he dodges, second one hits him, he disappears. Providence keeps shooting, she throw portals, drops three soldiers in water.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Agent Six!
:''[He jumps at her, she portals him away to behind Knight. Rex jumps from the water onto the bridge by Knight.]''
:'''Rex:'''	You had no intention to bring her in, did you?
:'''White Knight:''' I wanted to believe you, Rex, but this is too important. She can't be controlled.
:'''Rex:''' Control... Her powers are back on. Van Kleiss.
:''[Van Kleiss arrives on flying fish EVO.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Settle down, Breach.
:''[Chest device turns off.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Let me do this. I can get through to her. Come on. It couldn't get any worse than you've already made it
:''[Knight and Six look at each other.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Form a perimeter around Breach. Van Kleiss isn't to touch her.
:''[A rock wall rises from the ground blocking Rex as he runs towards Breach. The Pack jumps down from wall to attack Rex, Six intervenes. Agents surround Breach, she tries and fails to make red portal. Screams. Van Kleiss flies in on fish, knocks down agents with bio-mechanical whip arm, shoots needles from fingers and knocks more down, fish knocks the rest down. White Knight shoots at Van Kleiss.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' If you had any idea what I was trying to do you might even welcome it.
:'''White Knight:''' Enlighten me.
:''[Van Kleiss touches a tree and it turns into an EVO. EVO tree catches and holds White. Six and Biowulf fight, Rex and Skalamander fight.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Enlighten you?
:''[Sticks his claws in White Knight, glowing White Knight screams.]'' All in good time, White Knight, assuming you have some left.
:''[Six throws a magnablade through Van Kleiss's bio-mechanical arm and he lets go of White.]''
:'''Six:'''	''[to White Knight]'' Go. I mean it. ''[White Knight flies off.]''
:'''Six:''' The name's Six.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	We've met.
:'''Six:'''	Don't remember. ''[They fight.]''
:''[Breach on merry-go-round, turning slowly looking at the sky.
:'''Rex:'''	You're just using her.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Of course I am. She knows it. Spare me the chivalry, Rex. Providence would do the same.
:'''Rex:'''	Either way you slice it, she loses!
:'''Breach:''' ''[to herself]'' My two favorites. You both lie. Neither is real.
:'''Rex:''' ''[goes to her]'' Breach, I'm sorry. I meant what I said.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Words mean nothing.
:'''Rex:''' Then let this do the talking. ''[Turns on her machine, puts it into her power.]''
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' You just handed her a loaded gun.
:'''Rex:'''	And now it's her choice how to use it.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Oh if only I had the chance to get through to you, Rex, to teach you how the world really works.
:''[Breach steps in front of Van Kleiss, raises her arms as if to send Rex away. Makes huge yellow portal above them.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Our very first time traveler. You should be honored. Now Breach, if you wouldn't mind.
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:''[Rex closes his eyes. Breach sends Van Kleiss away with yellow portal.]''
:'''Rex:''' That was... unexpected.
:''[Rex tries to turn machine off but fails.]''
:'''Rex:'''	It won't turn off. I'm sorry. I, I didn't know.
:'''Breach:'''	Van Kleiss made it like this so I wouldn't send him away.
:'''Rex:'''	That didn't work out so well did it? Six, get everyone out of here now! ''[A big yellow dome forms around the playground where Rex and Breach stand.]''
:'''Rex:'''	So, what's going to happen?
:''[Rex and Breach are about to be engulfed by Breach's out of control time portal]''
:'''Breach''': ''[she looks up]'' I don't know if any of this was real. But it was nice having a friend for a while. ''[Rex smiles, Breach hugs him as they dispensary in the golden time portal]''
:'''Rex:''' I didn't get blown up. ''[Sees a lizard.]'' Whoa! ''[Jumps away, startled.]'' Oh no, please don't let this be dino time. ''[Touches earpiece in left ear.]'' Rex to Providence, do you copy? :''[Takes earpiece out and looks at it.]'' Oh... Rex to Providence, you better be there.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Uh... we copy, Rex. We have a lock on your coordinates and are sending a jump jet.
:'''Rex:'''	Is Six okay? Breach went supernova.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Someone's on the way, just hold tight. Providence out.
:''[Scene change, Rex lying on the ground.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Took you long enough.
:''[Turns over and sees Providence agents, pointing guns at him.]''
:'''Providence Agent:''' Rex is onboard. Heading back to HQ.
:'''Rex:'''	HQ? Ten minutes ago I was in the middle of an epic battle. You need to take me back!
:'''Providence Agent:''' Um, that battle is over.
:'''Rex:''' What happened? Is Six okay? Guys...what's going on?
:''[They arrive at HQ.]''
:'''Caesar:'''	Baby brother, you're okay! ''[Runs and hugs him.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Breach just sent me to nowheresville. Nothing to freak out over.
:'''Caesar:'''	''[To Providence agent.]'' You didn't tell him?
:'''Providence Agent:''' Our orders were just to bring him back.
:'''Rex:'''	Tell me what? Hey, when did you... have a beard?
:'''Caesar:''' There's no easy way to tell you this, hermano. Breach didn't just send you to the middle of nowhere. You've been gone for six months.
:'''Rex:'''	Six months?! So this is--
:'''Caesar:''' Technically, the future. I should warn you, there've been a few changes.
:'''Rex:'''	You didn't give away my room, did you?
:'''Caesar:''' As a matter of fact, they did.
:'''Rex:''' What?! Caesar, tell me what's going on here.
:'''Caesar:'''	It would be better if I showed you.
:'''Rex:'''	White Knight taking visitors now?
:'''Caesar:'''	I'll wait out here.
:''[Rex sees Providence agents dressed in black.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Nice suits.
:''[Goes into the office.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Ah... Love what you've done with the place. White?
:''[Person in chair turns around, it's a woman, not White Knight.]''
:'''Black Knight:''' Thank you, Rex. ''[She gets up and walks towards him.]'' It was a little bright for my taste. White Knight is no longer associated with this organization.
:'''Rex:''' He quit?
:'''Black Knight:''' He...attempted a hostile takeover and failed. Can I get you anything? Water? A snack?
:'''Rex:''' I don't want a snack! Where's Six? Where's Holiday!?
:'''Black Knight:''' This must upsetting to you. Change is never easy but from I understand, you've been in situations like this before. Everything's going to be fine.
:'''Rex:''' Who are you?!
:'''Black Knight:''' Someone very happy to have you back. Call me Black Knight.

==Season Three (2011-2013)==
===Back in Black===
: '''Rex''': Okay, I get what's going on here.
: '''Black Knight''': I'm relieved to hear that, Rex.
: '''Rex''': You can come out! I know you're there!
: '''Black Knight''': Rex?
: '''Rex''': We're friends, now, remember? Breach?
: '''Black Knight''': Breach isn't here, Rex. The world's changed. As soon you accept th--
: '''Rex''': No, I'm not ignoring you. It's just that you're not real.
: '''Black Knight''': I assure you I'm very real-- as is all of this.
: '''Rex''': ''[chuckling]'' Oh, come on. It's been a fun time in the ol' Breachscape, but, you know, time to go home now.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex''': Seen this before. Usually ends with a black hole.
: '''Black Knight''': Rex, you're disoriented. Let me--
: '''Rex''': Sorry, non-lady. No time. Got an exit to find! Shall we aprehend?
: '''Black Knight''': It won't be necessary.
: '''Caesar''': Rex! Have you lost it?
: '''Rex''': Caesar! We're in a pocket dimension! It could collapse at any second!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Caesar''': That's crazy, Rex. This is not a pocket dimension.
: '''Rex''': You're right! It's a whole alternate universe! And-- and-- and you're my Brother's evil twin! Out of the way! Six! Six! Doc!
: ''[Rex panting]''
: '''Rex''': Dr. Holiday! Doc!
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex''': Wha-- Well, at least some things haven't changed. Whoa! Whoa! Okay, now I-- Bleh-- know I'm in an-- Aah!-- alternate universe. Unh! You can go ahead and -- Blech!-- Eat me now, please.
: '''Black Knight''': Release.
: '''Rex''': You were... saying something about changes?
: '''Black Knight''': There have been a few.
: '''Caesar''': You've got temporal lag, Rex. It's kind of like altitude sickness, only in time. Here-- This will balance your electrolytes.
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex''': So this is really-- 
: '''Black Knight''': Really. Welcome to the future, Rex-- Or, rather, to the present. Without your healing abilities, Providence has embraced a new paradigm. We've moved beyond the outmoded era of &quot;cure, contain, or kill.&quot;
: '''Rex''': And into the era of &quot;serious leash laws&quot;.
: '''Caesar''': We used the petting zoo as our test bed. What do you think?
: '''Rex''': I think it needs a new name, 'cause, you know, now it really is one.
: '''Caesar''': We've developed new techniques for working with EVOs. It's all about understanding them better.
: '''Rex''': So, you're some sort of &quot;EVO whisperer&quot;?
: '''Caesar''': ''[laughs]'' It's a bit more complicated than that. You sure you're okay? ''[sighs]'' It's good to have you back, brother.
: '''Black Knight''': Family ties. They transcend even time itself.
: '''Rex''': Caesar's not my only family.
: '''Black Knight''': I'll bring you up to speed on the others. When you went M.I.A., White Knight lost his biggest weapon in the war for EVO containment.
: '''Rex''': Figures that I have to vanish for him to appreciate me.
: '''Black Knight''': White became erratic-- some might say paranoid. Directorate lost faith in his ability to lead.
: '''Rex''': Directorate? I never knew white even had a boss.
: '''Black Knight''': There are, shall we say, layers. I was named as his replacement.
: '''Rex''': Let me guess-- he didn't take it well.
: '''Black Knight''': You could say that.
: '''Providence Agent''': White Knight! Sir! Stand down!
: '''White Knight''': I'd rather go down in flames than see Providence in the hands of the enemy.
: '''Providence Agent''': He's got a bomb! Fall back! All units fall ba--
: '''Rex''': Whoa! That was--
: '''Black Knight''': Your room.
: '''Rex''': Huh? Aww, man! But... Six... Holiday... where--
: '''Black Knight''': Where do you think? They're out looking for you. Agent Six and Holiday took indefinite leave. They've been off the grid ever since. I've attempted to contact them, but no response.
: '''Rex''': Mind if... I give them a ring? Not that I don't trust you.
: '''Black Knight''': But you don't trust me. Natural, given the circumstances. Be my guest. It won't take long, to locate them. Meanwhile, there are many familiar faces who will be glad to hear you're back. Which reminds me... This is everything we salvaged from your room.
: '''Rex''': Huh. Talk about starting over.
: '''Black Knight''': You could you know. There's still a place for you in the--
: '''Rex''': My room. I thought you said it was trashed.
: '''Black Knight''': Rex, wait.
: '''Rex''': What's the matter, Black? This where you're hiding all your evil secrets?
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex''': Um... Wow!
: '''Black Knight''': This entire wing was destroyed in the blast. I had the space... repurposed.
: '''Rex''': White wouldn't even splurge for private stalls.
: '''Black Knight''': As you see, I treat my finest people to the very finest things.
: '''Rex''': Sure. I'll take one of those, please.
: '''Black Knight''': It's yours-- and anything else you'd like.
: '''Rex''': As long as I do whatever you want-- That it?
: '''Black Knight''': On the contrary-- you're a seasoned agent. I have a few boundaries, but otherwise, handle matters as you see fit.
: '''Rex''': Say I refuse.
: '''Black Knight''': Then I turn you over to mel. ''[chuckling]'' I'm kidding. You're free to leave whenever you like. But I hope you'll stay. Now, more than ever, Providence needs a Rex. So, how do you feel? Like I haven't used one of those in Six months-- Which I haven't. You mind? Bobo?
: '''Bobo''': Rex! Heard you were back. So great to see you, buddy. Whoa. Just a sec, there, pal. Gotta love those certain towelettes.
: ''[Bobo whistling]''
: '''Bobo''': What? Never seen a monkey wash his hands before?
: '''Rex''': Not this one.
: ''[Bobo munching]''
: '''Rex''': You wanna tell me what's gotten into you or what?
: '''Bobo''': What are you talking abou-- Unh! Hey!
: '''Rex''': Sorry. For a minute, I thought you were...
: '''Bobo''': Robo Bobo? Wanna check for a tv in my butt?
: '''Rex''': Pass. But come on. You've, I don't know, mellowed or something.
: '''Bobo''': Guess I just don't have a big need to act out these days, what with you and everyone gone. Plus, the employee benefits are pretty sweet.
: '''Black Knight''': Rex, we've got a little EVO problem. Providence could use your help. Ready to get back in the game?
: '''Rex''': If it involves getting out of here, that would be a &quot;yes.&quot; You coming?
: '''Bobo''': I'll join ya on the next one. I got Tai Chi at 2:00.
: '''Rex''': Missing an EVO smackdown? That doesn't sound like you.
: '''Bobo''': Did I mention the instructor has a thing for back hair?
: '''Rex:''' Ew. Okay. That sounds like you. What is it and where do I find it?
: '''Providence Agent''': We've got an EVO in the subway tunnels, people trapped in one of the trains. The power's out down there, too.
: '''Rex:''' Sounds like a street worm. Sure it's just one? Rex to H.Q. Okay, new chief, how do you want to do this?
: '''Black Knight:''' You're the expert.
: '''Rex:''' I am? Uh, I mean, of course I am. It's just that Six usually--
: '''Black Knight:''' You don't need help, Rex. Handle it as you see fit. Black, out.
: '''Rex:''' What's this strange feeling that's come upon me? Could it be...
: ''[Rex shudders]''
: '''Rex''': Responsibility?! Okay. Assemble your guys over there. Be ready for me. Should the guys grab flashlight. Or... better. Not a bad pre-show. Now for the main event.
: '''Providence Agent:''' How did you know?
: '''Rex:''' These things usually travel in pairs. I used lights from my builds to make it think I was another worm. Have your bug net handy. They're so cute after I shut them down.
: '''Rex:''' Sorry B.K. No can cure.
: '''Black Knight:''' Understood. Our team will take it from here.
: '''Rex:''' Um, take what where?
: '''Providence Agent:''' Move into the vehicle! Move... into... the vehicle! Hit her again!
: '''Rex:''' Um, what just happend?
: '''Black Knight:''' That's all for now, Rex. Nicely done.
: '''Rex:''' Hm. Wait. What are you gonna do with it?
: '''Providence Agent:''' Standard rehab and re-lo. It's all very humane.
: '''Rex:''' I'd love to see that. Mind if I tag along?
: '''Black Knight:''' Sorry, Rex. Authorized personnel only. You've done your job. Now let the team theirs.
: '''Rex:''' But--
: '''Black Knight:''' Boundaries, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' Boundaries. Got it. Rex, out.
: '''Caesar:''' Main container reached. Attach stabilizer ring.
: '''Rex:''' Humane? Yeah, right.
: ''[Bobo yawns]''
: '''Bobo:''' See? Great employee benefits.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. Right. Hey, you got a tag sticking out in the back. Mind if I--
: '''Bobo:''' Thanks, pal. Well, off to yoga.
: '''Caesar:''' You really shouldn't be here, hermano.
: '''Rex:''' The petting zoo? The worm? My monkey practicing good hygiene? You're using that thing to control my friend!
: '''Caesar:''' He's still the same Bobo you know and love. He just need a few boundaries.
: '''Rex:''' He's not the same, and neither are you! You should hear yourself!
: '''Caesar:''' Making the world safer isn't possible without some form of control. And you'd better get some control of yourself, mijo.
: '''Rex:''' Or what? You'll use that thing on me?
: '''Caesar:''' Open your eyes to all the good we're accomplishing. Isn't this better than smacking them with your giant fists?
: '''Rex:''' That's combat! I protect people and property! Okay, property, not so much, but this? If you can't see the difference, then maybe I never knew you at all!
: '''Caesar:''' It doesn't matter. I have work to do.
: '''Rex:''' So do I!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Uses his Smack Hands to smash everything around him]''
: '''Caesar:''' Rex! Stop!
: '''Black Knight:''' Snooping around, Rex? See, that's another one of my boundaries.
: '''Rex:''' White Knight may have had his issues, but he never resorted to anything like this!
: '''Black Knight:''' I never planned to do this, Rex, but you've become a danger.
: '''Rex''' ''[shocked]'': Caesar! Think! You can't do this!
: '''Caesar:''' Of course I'm thinking. This is the logical conclusion to what we started. 
: '''Rex:''' The logical-- Aaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Raaah! Aah!
: ''[Caesar blasts the mind-control laser, causing Rex to scream and groan in pain]''
: '''Caesar:''' Sorry, Rex. You'll thank me later.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' You... better... believe I will!
: '''Caesar:''' Please don't resist! It's only painful if you struggle!
: '''Black Knight:''' What's taking so long?
: '''Caesar:''' He's fighting it! His nantic energy is spiking off the scale!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Boost power.
: '''Caesar:''' It's not safe to--
: '''Black Knight:''' It's for the best. 
: ''[Caesar increases power, causing Rex's nanites to go haywire as a tear fall down his cheek, heartbroken about his own brother betraying him]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Manages to overpower the mind-control machine, much to the surprise and wonder of Caesar and Black Knight]''
: '''Rex:''' You just drew a line in the sand, bro! ''[runs off]''
: '''Black Knight:''' You'd better have a backup.
: '''Caesar:''' The prototype. Not portable, but more than enough power, even for him.
: '''Black Knight:''' Get it ready.
: '''Rex:''' Unh!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Rex:''' No mood to get slimed right now, mel!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Rex:''' What happened to your EVO control?
: '''Black Knight:''' A demonstration. You know what would happen without our influence.
: '''Rex:''' So, you're hijacking its brain, like you tried to do with mine.
: '''Black Knight:''' That won't be necessary if you'll willingly cooperate.
: '''Rex:''' Translation-- if I do everything you say.
: '''Black Knight:''' You've seen how we can work together. Providence still needs you. There will always be a few EVOs we can't control.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. I'm one of them.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Shall we pursue?
: '''Black Knight:''' Most definitely.
: '''Rex:''' Gangway! Coming through! Huh? No! Huh. Black Pawns. Overdoing the whole theme, don't you think?
: ''[Rex groaning]''
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Yah! I'm getting beat up by the chess club!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Black Knight:''' We... got off on the wrong foot. Stow the hardware and come with us. You have my word you won't be harmed. We can start over-- the right way.
: '''Bobo:''' You mind? You're interrupting the enjoyment of my employee benefits.
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: ''[Rex panting]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Black Knight:''' ''[after Rex was tranquilized]'' Excellent work. Take him to the lab.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex:''' What? No way! You're not turning my brain to mashed potatoes! Doc?!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Welcome back, Rex.
: '''Six:''' Good to see you, kid.
: '''Rex:''' Before I blame this on a Burrito-induced nightmare, will someone please tell me-- What... Is... Going... On?!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' What do you think? We've been looking for you.
: '''Six:''' We knew Providence might find you first. Fortunately, we planted a mole.
: '''Bobo:''' Ehh. Rex! Put 'er there!
: '''Rex:''' Uhh! You didn't wash! Oh! You didn't wash! But that means... that he really was... Robo Bobo?
: '''Bobo:''' In the flesh.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Literally. I gave it a biological upgrade, complete with his own nanites and... fleas, ticks, lice, chigger mites.
: '''Bobo:''' What can I say? I'm an ecosystem.
: '''Six:''' It's enough to fool your brother's equipment. The robot is only providing limited intel. But one thing is sure-- new Providence is about more than just getting Evos off the streets.
: '''Rex:''' I saw it. Whatever they're doing over there is seriously messed up.
: '''Six:''' That's why we've set up our own operation.
: '''Rex:''' Whoa! Where did you get all of this?
: '''Six:''' We have our sources.
: '''Rex:''' So, we're like super secret spies now? Cool!
:''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex:''' It's too bad about White, though. I never thought I'd say it, but I'm gonna miss that pasty guy.
: '''White Knight:''' How touching, Rex. I, on the other hand, would rather enjoyed the last six Rex-free months. Now... if we're done with the love-in, we have work to do.
: '''Rex:''' It really can't get any better than this. Oh, except one thing-- can I get a TV?

===Crash and Burn===
*From this episode, Rex can create two builds at once
:''[Bobo yawns]''
:'''Bobo:''' They say nothin' good happens after midnight. And, you know, they're right.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I'm worried about you, Bobo. Since we left Providence, you've been staying out every night.
:''[Bobo grunts]''
:''[Bobo munching]''
:''[Bobo gulps]''
:'''Bobo:''' That's not the least of your worries. Seen our boy lately?
:''[Dr. Holiday scoffs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex is fine. He just needs time to adjust to our new setting. Rex? It's Holiday. Are you there?
:'''Rex:''' Hey, doc. What up?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Just checking in. Everything okay?
:'''Rex:''' Better than okay. I'm about to set a new land-speed record'
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That wasn't what I meant. How are you feeling?
:'''Rex:''' Appreciate the concern, but the only thing on my mind right now is the need for speed. Apparently, I'm not alone. I'll call you back. Hey! Slow down! I want to talk to you! Ah. You want to play chicken. Doc? Bobo? I'm getting blitzed by some bikers. Aah!
:'''Rand:''' Might as well give up! I won't quit! I'm a relentless, never-say-die, nonstop-- Uh, hey, wait a minute. Who are you?
:'''Rex:''' Think you could have asked me that before trying to run me down?
:'''Rand:''' Ooh! My fault. I thought you were one of us.
:'''Rex:''' &quot;One of us&quot;? What is this?
:'''Rand:''' Sorry, dude. No time to chat. Peace.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, like I'm gonna take that for an answer. A street race? Or a demolition derby?
:''[Lance grunts]''
:''[Lance groans]''
:'''Lance:''' Gonna need a bike.
:'''Rex:''' Can't believe you survive that! You must be the luckiest guy on the-- These are nanites.
:''[Lance groans]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Oh, come on!
:'''Six:''' Something wrong?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Prototypes. I prefer tried-and-tested. And I don't even know what we're going to do with half of this stuff.
:'''Bobo:''' You're goin' soft, gettin' worked over by a bunch of goofballs on motorcycles.
:'''Rex:''' They had weapons.
:'''Bobo:''' Last time I checked, so did you.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, but not while I'm on my bike. I'm strictly one at a time.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The nanites that have infected his body are slowly poisoning him. I've never seen anything like it.
:'''Rex:''' Do what you can, Doc? I'm gonna go out and look for those racers.
:'''Bobo:''' Sounds dangerous.
:'''Rex:''' Sure, Bobo. You can come, too. The nanites we found on the biker gave off a different energy signature. Gonna use one of Holiday's new toys to try to scan for it. A bunch of them. And they're moving fast.
:'''Bobo:''' Then step on it! Maybe Holiday has a point about prototypes!
:'''Rex:''' Or maybe they're not on the streets. I'll watch the road. You watch the screen.
:'''Bobo:''' Gotta warn you-- Chimps make bad navigators!
:'''Rex:''' Just do it!
:'''Bobo:''' Hmm? Left! You're goin' left! Make a right! Another right!
:'''Rex:''' Which way?
:'''Bobo:''' I don't know! That way-ish! Wah! Like I said-- Monkeys make great navigators! This is your biker gang?
:'''Rex:''' They had weapons before I'm telling you-- They're tough!
:'''Bobo:''' If you say so.
:''[Bobo grunts]''
:'''Bobo:''' Wall.
:''[Bobo and Rex grunts]''
:'''Moss:''' That's some fancy ridin'. You following us, kid?
:'''Rex:''' Still think they don't look tough?
:'''Bobo:''' I take it back.
:'''Moss:''' Who are you, kid? 'Cause whoever you are, you're not bad.
:'''Rand:''' You're awesome! Where'd you learn to ride like that? Anybody with that kind of skill should be with us. Yeah!
:'''Moss:''' What's your secret?
:'''Rex:''' No secret. I'm just built that way.
:'''Lunk:''' Is that guy from TV-- The one who fights EVOs.
:'''Bobo:''' Five bucks for pictures, ten bucks for autographs.
:'''Rand:''' A talking monkey! Outrageous! I gotta have one. Is he for sale?
:'''Bobo:''' Brother, you can't afford me.
:'''Rex:''' You guys seem tight-- For guys who try to kill each other.
:'''Rand:''' We're not killers. We're racers. This is a legitimate sport.
:'''Moss:''' It is what it is. Our races aren't for the weak. Name's Moss. You've met Rand.
:'''Rex:''' He tried to blow me up.
:'''Rand:''' I missed. You're welcome. Come on, don't leave me hangin'.
:'''Moss:''' Never met a celebrity who could ride.
:'''Rex:''' I caught you, didn't I?
:'''Moss:''' But are you tough enough try me?
:'''Rex:''' Try me.
:'''Bobo:''' You gotta fight back?
:'''Rex:''' With what?
:'''Bobo:''' Oh, brother. Fine, leave it to Chimpy. Aah! I'll take that. Phbt!
:'''Rex:''' Something else on the map-- Moving fast! And it's big!
:'''Providence Agent:''' Halt! You kids! Pull over! Now!
:'''Moss:''' Cops!
:'''Bobo:''' Worst than cops-- Providence.
:'''Rex:''' The bikes give off a nanite signature. They must have tracked it.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Rex, what are you doing here?
:'''Rex:''' Research. You don't want to get caught up in this! Back off now! Sorry, guys. Have Black Knight sent me the bill.
:'''Rand:''' Ha! No way! You want to beat me, you gotta step your game up. Aah!
:''[Rand groans]''
:'''Rex:''' Rand!
:'''Bobo:''' Don't stop! Kid's wearing armor. He's fine.
:'''Rex:''' No! Something's wrong!
:''[Rand groans]''
:'''Rex:''' What is this thing? Doc? Get over here quick. We've got another one.
:'''Biker gangs:''' WHOO-HOO-HOO!
:''[Biker gangs laughs]''
:'''Biker gangs:''' Yeah!
:'''Moss:''' We thought you'd bailed on us. Where were you?
:'''Rex:''' Watching a doctor try to save Rand's life.
:'''Moss:''' Racers get sick sometimes. It's part of the life.
:'''Rex:''' Those nanite power sources-- you got to stop using them. To feel one with the road, that rush? So some people get sick. When we're on our rides, nothing else matters.
:'''Rex:''' Your rides are killing you! You're gonna be dead-- All of you! And for what? So you can go a little faster?
:'''Moss:''' We need those things to ride. You know what it's like.
:'''Lunk:''' Please. Don't take our bikes away.
:'''Rex:''' Nobody's going to take your bikes. But I need to know where you got those nanites.
:'''Lunk:''' ''[sighs]'' A guy named Valve. He supplies the superchargers.
:'''Moss:''' You're wasting your time. Valve never talks to anybody.
:'''Rex:''' He'll talk to me.
:'''Bobo:''' Been in a lot of bad biker dives, but this is the worst I've ever seen.
:'''Valve:''' Enter, strangers. The biker will see you now. Please, sit. May I offer you some tea?
:'''Rex:''' I'll pass.
:'''Valve:''' Suit yourself. I find a good cup of tea soothing-- for the body and the soul.
:''[Valve slurps]''
:'''Valve:''' You don't have to tell the biker why you're here. The biker can tell. You wish to buy a supercharger.
:''[Valve slurps]''
:'''Rex:''' Your superchargers are killing people. It's gonna stop.
:''[Valve breathes deeply]''
:'''Valve:''' Hmm. That sounds like a challenge.
:'''Rex:''' Maybe it is. I'll race you for them. If I win, you hand over your entire stockpile.
:'''Valve:''' Shh! Your answer is on the wind.
:'''Rex:''' You're... not right in the head, are you?
:'''Valve:''' When the wind commands, the impossible game must be gamed. The challenge is accepted. We will race for the superchargers. And when the biker wins... It won't matter.
:'''Rex:''' Why is that?
:'''Valve:''' Because you'll be dead. Let the race begin.
:'''Moss:''' This is his own private track. He knows it better than anyone. You can still back out-- Probably.
:'''Rex:''' And let people become poison, like Valve? No. I can take him. Just give me something to hit him with. You guys are walking arsenals. You don't have anything?
:'''Moss:''' You didn't think we'd need 'em today.
:'''Bobo:''' Oh, boy.
:'''Six:''' Message from Holiday. The two sick teens have stabilized, but she's still a ways from finding a cure.
:'''Rex:''' It was the only weapon I could find, okay? Can I borrow the sword?
:'''Six:''' Use your own.
:'''Rex:''' On wheels? It's not gonna happen.
:'''Six:''' What's stopping you?
:'''Rex:''' Well, for one thing, I-- Um, not sure exactly.
:'''Six:''' What have I been teaching you? Focus on what you want and make it happen. No more excuses.
:''[Bobo munching]''
:''[Bobo munching]''
:'''Valve:''' You're lucky. One the very best get a chance at this track.
:'''Rex:''' Then I should fit right in. Rules of the game-- ten laps. Cross the finish line before the biker, and you may have them.
:'''Rex:''' So, is the wind talking to you now?
:'''Valve:''' The wind commands the Biker to destroy you. The Biker is happy to oblige.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Bobo:''' You gonna help him?
:'''Six:''' He's doing fine.
:'''Bobo:''' Are you watchin' the same race I am?
:''[Valve grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' You're in trouble, Rex! No. Keep it together. Keep... it... together. Six said it-- Focus. Focus. Focus!
:''[Valve laughs]''
:'''Valve:''' Oblivion.
:'''Six:''' Like I sad-- He's doing fine.
:'''Rex:''' Double-up! Where have you been all my life?
:''[Valve grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Cute toy. But I like mine better.
:'''Valve:''' Aah!
:'''Rex:''' Was there any doubt?
:'''Bobo:''' Yeah, plenty.
:''[Valve panting]''
:'''Rex:''' We had the deal. Remember?
:'''Valve:''' Like the storm that changes directions on a whim, the biker is changing the deal. 'Cause the biker-- ''[grunts]'' Doesn't like! ''[grunts]'' The biker-- ''[grunts]'' never loses! ''[grunts]'' Unh!
:'''Rex:''' First time for everything. Thank you, Six.
:'''Six:''' It was all you, kid.
:'''Moss:''' Rand!
:'''Biker gangs:''' Oh, Rand! Good to see you!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Completely detoxified. In a couple days, they'll be back to full strength. Those could be useful at the new base.
:'''Moss:''' You can't stop us from riding.
:'''Rex:''' What's stopping you? You can still ride. You just won't be poisoned by nanites. Come on. Race you back to the garage.
:''[Rex rides off]''
:'''Moss:''' ''[Chasing after Rex]'' You heard the man. Hit it!
:'''Six:''' You do realize we just turned a group of reckless teenage boys loose on the city.
:'''Bobo:''' All in a day's work.

===Heroes United, Part 1===
:'''Caesar:''' Now where are you? So it ''is'' you. This is most disturbing.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Ben:''' You know the friend you care about!? Well, I have a cousin, a grandfather, a best friend that I care about!! They don't exist here! I may never see them again! I'm totally alone! So go ahead! Do your worst.
: '''Rex:''' Maybe we can help each other.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I'm curious how big brother knows about something from a parallel dimension.
: '''Caesar:''' Because I sent it there. In the early days of the Nanite Project, our goal was simple. Construct microscopic machines to cure diseases, grow new cells, regenerate bones. They was a control issue. Some thought a human-machine link was the answer. Others proposed that the machines control themselves. I was in latter cam. I developed the Alpha to control other nanites. To maximize its effectiveness, I had to program Alpha to think for itself. 
:'''Ben:''' Does a low explanation mean something bad on your Earth too?
:'''Rex:''' Yep.
:'''Caesar:''' Alpha developed its own consciousness. It evolved into a unique life-form. It wanted a body, but whatever it built burned out. So when Alpha attempted possessing living this, Alpha had to be eliminated. So I built a dimensional disruptor.
:'''Ben:''' Looks like a Null Void gun. We got some like those back home, too.

===Heroes United, Part 2===
:'''Alpha:''' The nanites in those creatures. They are different, powerful. Your nanites are weak. I have no use for you. Where is the boy?
:'''Holiday:''' His nanites are off limits!!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' My brother!? Look around! He's not here!
:'''Alpha:''' The father is redundant. Now that I found you.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Alpha:''' I cannot merge! What makes you so special, human? Yes. You shelter an Omega.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''White Knight:''' Don't let it get to Rex! If it drains his nanites-!
:'''Diamondhead:''' Game over. I get it.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex''': My most powerful builds came from the Omega nanite. A lot of people are going to get hurt and I can't stop it. What happens when the best you can do just isn't enough?
:'''Ben''': You get an Upgrade.
:'''Rex:''' Weren't you listening? Alpha has the Omega.
:'''Ben:''' I'm not talking about a nanite.
:(''Transforms into Upgrade'')
:'''Rex''':  Hey, what are you- ''[Upgrade merges with Rex]'' Whoa, okay, that feels weird. ''[Upgrade covers Rex's body like a suit]'' Wow, what supposed to happen now? ''[Upgrade's head appears on Rex's left shoulder]'' Uh...don't do that, you freaking me out!
:'''Upgrade''': Build something!
:'''Rex''': ''[Builds a Smack Arm, which is modified by Upgrade]'' Sweet, so what's the plan?
:'''Upgrade''': You build stuff, I make it better. Fight fight fight, we win!
:'''Rex''':  Works for me! ''[Rex builds a Boogie Pack and blasts off]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Alpha''': Organics who rely on machines for their power, I don't need. The machines themselves, now those I will have.
===Phantom of the Soap Opera===
:'''Rex Salazar:''' In a world he never chose and barely understands... ''[Rex looks over the countryside from a cliff, jumps and lands in a snow scene]'' One incredibly good looking guy fights for us all. His name...you know it baby...Rex. ''[jumps into a lake scene]'' Forget train wrecks... ''[punches]'' And car wrecks... ''[kicks]'' Nothing brings the pain like this Rex. ''[runs into city scene. EVO walks down street, Rex runs up, jumps, grabs EVO's head and tears it off. Holds it over his head in victory gesture.]''
:'''Actor in costume:''' Yeah, yeah, that's hilarious kid.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Ah, anytime you want to stop trying to get me fired get back to the tour.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Sorry. Got caught up in the moment.
:'''Actor in costume:''' Ah, dude?
:''[Rex puts head back on the man in EVO costume.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' And on your left, the sound stage where they make the hit TV show Middle School Talent show.
:''[Teen girls on tour squeal and run towards it.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' That's a closed set. ''[Noah pulls on his hair]'' C'mon, this is my first week as a page, I could lose my job!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I got this. ''[pulls girls back from stage with turbines]'' I just don't get girls, how come they get so... ''[notices something behind Noah, acts all excited]'' Huh hu oh huh... oh El Amor de la Pasion del Amor! Why didn't you tell me EADLPDA was made here?
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Um, probably because I didn't really believe you actually still watch a soap opera.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' It's a telenovela. The actresses are smoking hot. And I don't have cable?...ah c'mon dude don't be a hater. ''[crosses arms]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Whatever. We're not going in there, they get like ten safety violations a week, no one's allowed in accept crew and studio staff.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' You mean like pages? ''[Brushes Noah's shoulder with his hand, smiling. Noah brushes his hand away.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' No way. My boss is a total butt-buster for the rules and she is always watching. ''[makes binocular with his hands]''
:'''Head Page:''' You got that right bub. ''[Rex looks behind him, and jumps away]'' By the way Page, you lose something? ''[has three girls from Noah's tour group tied up in a rope]'' Found these wandering over by Middle School Talent Show. ''[Noah runs over and unties them, rope falls]''
:'''Head Page:''' ''[points to her left eye]'' I got my one good eye on you, Nixon.
:''[On set of telenovela]''
:''[Isabella crying]''
:'''Reymundo:''' Pensabas que yo era tu marido. ¡Pero fue una mentira! Pero la verdad es que soy Reymundo, el hermano diabólico de Reynaldo.
:'''Isabella:''' Yo sé, pero todavía te amo.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[standing by salad bar in cafeteria looking up at TV screen]'' How can anyone say that's not great!
:''[Man in cowboy hat tips his hat to Noah]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Whoa? Celebrities know you?
:''[There are drinks on their trays at this point, then in the next frame there are no drinks on their trays and they go over to get drinks.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' The only one here who knows my name is my boss. I'm just a newb on an internship.
:''[Blond girl puts her hand on Noah's shoulder and reaches across him to get a soda, walks away, looks back and gives him a finger gun.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Yeah right, you just got a finger gun from TV weather lady Summer Sonnenshine.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' It's the page jacket not me, if you put this thing on everyone would think you work here. Still. I gotta admit it's pretty cool.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Y'know, I didn't even know you'd applied for this. But I guess when you jump ahead in time you gotta expect some surprises...OH MY GOSH... ''[drops tray]'' It's Isabella, from El Amor del Pasion del Amor.
:''[Rex throws up his arms, knocks tray into Noah's chest spilling it all over his jacket]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' AHHH!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I know she's even hotter in real life than she is on the...
:'''Noah Nixon:''' ''[looks down at tray and jacket]'' Ohhhhh...
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Okay, okay don't worry...
:'''Head Page:''' ''[yelling at another page behind Rex]'' You call yourself a page!
:'''Rex:''' Okay worry. ''[puts his fingers together]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' This is a huge violation of the dress code, oh I am so fired!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No you're not. Come on, move!
:''[They run to a supply closet.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' I've gotta lead another tour in 45 minutes. We can't get to a dry cleaners and back in 45 minutes.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' This is my bad, but I can fix this. ''[Noah panicking, rocking and hyperventilating]'' We just have to calm down and think. Just calm down. ''[Rex points at Noah]'' Noah, calm down!
:''[Rex grabs a bottle of pickles off the shelf, opens the lid and throw contents of jar at Noah's head. A pickle ends up in Noah's mouth, he spits it out.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Not helping. ''[Noah, calm now and not hyperventilating and rocking, wipes pickle juice out of his eyes.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Okay, listen we passed the wardrobe department on the tour, they've gotta have a washer and dryer right?
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Uh... yeah, I guess?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Alright, good, give me your outfit and stay put, I'll take care of everything else.
:''[Scene change. Sign which says laundry stages commissary.]''
:''[Rex runs towards laundry, passes stage of telenovela. Grins and stops. Looks into open door. Looks down at soiled jacket. Up at stage doorway. Walks away. Runs back and grins bigger. Walks into stage with Noah's jacket on.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh...
:'''Isabella:''' Finally! You are here!
:''[Isabella kisses Rex all over his face.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' This is happening, right? I'm not going to wake up and be making out with my pillow again am I?
:'''Isabella:''' Come with me, they want to cancel us you know. That's why the studio puts us here in this place falling apart with all the accidentes.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Soap operas do not get the respect they deserve.
:'''Isabella:''' You are very wise for your age. We don't even go backstage anymore. Too dangerous.
:''[A silhouette of a rat is seen, it squeaks]''
:'''Beatriz:''' Is that our page?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh...
:''[Rex falls]''
:'''Isabella:''' He's mine, I saw him first!
:''[Rex gets up and Isabella grabs him.]''
:'''Isabella:''' He is mine!!!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hum?
:'''Beatriz:''' Why don't we let him decide?
:'''[Rex is being pulled back and forth]''
:'''Isabella:''' You would like that wouldn't you?
:'''Beatriz:''' Yes I would! Very much.
:'''Isabella:''' Fine.
:''[Girls growl at each other and walk away.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[grinning]'' Did they just cat-fight over me?
:''[The girls come back with lists.]''
:'''Isabella:''' Here is a list of what I need you to do!
:'''Beatriz:''' And here's mine!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' You want me to work on the show?
:'''Beatriz:''' Claro que si, we haven't had a page on set in ages.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' But I'm not ... ''[looks over the girls]'' ...able to think of one reason why I would pass this up.
:''[Screen cuts to Noah looking out the door. He sees the chief page and closes the door quickly, after that, the scene changes back to Rex carrying boxes of water with yogurt on top.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I got your yogurt, but I couldn't find the water you wanted. So I got these.
:'''Isabella:''' You are dead to me! But I will take this one. ''[takes yogurt]''
:''[Rex stares in shock and drops the boxes full of water.]''
:''[Old man walks in a dressing room, and Reynaldo comes out soon later.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Whoa, it's Reynaldo! Uh, coffee? ''[offers him a mug of coffee]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' Gracias.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Leche?
:'''Reynaldo:''' How dare you! I am lactose intolerant.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh, okay, didn't know that. Sugar?
:''[Reynaldo knocks the sugar out of his hand.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' Real men take their coffee strong and hot. Are you suggesting that I am not a real man?
:''[Rex looks around and the phone rings.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Rex, where are you?
:'''Reynaldo:''' No phone! ''[Reynaldo knocks the phone out of his hand.]'' You will talk to me face to face. Mano a mano! ''[grabs Rex's jacket]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey wait what are you... ''[Reynaldo pulls Rex away from table. Stage light falls where Rex was standing]'' ...Oh, thanks!
:''[Everyone runs up to them.]''
:'''Beatriz:''' Not another accidente!
:'''Isabella:''' ''[scared]'' Ay. Dios mio! No!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' It's okay, I'm fine.
:'''Isabella:''' ''[pushes Rex down]'' My jogurt!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I'd hate to be the guy that has to clean that up... ''[whispers to man though they look at him]'' Oh. ''[Reynaldo hands him the mop.]''
:'''Beatriz:''' If I didn't know better, I'd say that someone was trying to kill us.
:'''Reynaldo:''' Someone is. The head of the studio is trying to kill our soap opera. That's why he put us in this accursed stage, with all these accidentes. But we... ''[another stage light falls and hits his head, he falls to the ground]'' Aahh... Por que? Ay.
:''[Rex looks up and sees a mongoose...runs after it...goes backstage. Sees clowns and a sign saying “Mongo”.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Ugh! Clowns.
:''[The mongoose squeaks.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Lemme guess. You're the one who's been causing all the accidents.
:''[Mongo growls, bears teeth]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Okay, let's say we can wrap this up quietly. Last thing I need is someone wondering why the guy in the page jacket can do this. ''[wraps Mongo up in the whip thing, Mongo gets tiny, escapes, growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Guess that explains how you've been able to hide out back here. ''[Mongo pulls lever cannon comes out of floor and fires at Rex. Platform falls Rex dodges. Mongo squeaks]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Can we please do this a little more quietly and with a lot less YOU trying to kill me?
:''[Mongo jumps into the “O” of his name on the sign.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Wait, that's you, isn't it? You just want your job back. I can help you. ''[reaches in and tries to cure him Mongo runs out and traps Rex's hand]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Enough with the booby traps, I'm trying to help you. ''[Mongo sets off another trap]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh-oh. [makes big fist, weight on rope swings and hits Rex, makes noise]
:'''Beatriz:''' What's going on back there?
:'''Isabella:''' Where is that page? I am beginning to wonder ...HOW LONG IS IT GOING TO TAKE FOR HIM TO CLEAN UP MY JOGURT!!!!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[Getting thrown around back stage]'' Ouch. ''[gets beat up by mechanical clowns]''
:''[Mongo cuts stars from ceiling they fall and cut Rex's jacket]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Ok, New plan-- First I smash your face, then I cure you.
:''[Mongo knocks over equipment]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No. ''[grabs equipment, Mongo jumps on his arm, punches him and he falls]'' Oww! Look out!
:''[Actors run from set, Rex falls and smashes set]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uhh, okay here's the deal—all the accidents you've been having they were caused by an EVO backstage. It used to be a mongoose and now it wants it's old job back. ''[last wall of stage set falls behind him]''
:'''Beatriz:''' What are jou talking about?
:'''Isabella:''' We just saw you ruin our set.
:'''Reynaldo:''' You are trying to destroy this soap opera just like the rest of them! It is true what they say, this sound stage must be cursed for us to have such a horrible page such as you, Senior... ''[looks at name badge]'' Noah Nixon.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Whoa, wait. This isn't Noah's fault.
:''[Three actors gasps]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' ''[tears off his own shirt]'' Now you insult us by talking about yourself in the third person! Somehow we must rebuild and finish our shoot! But as soon as we do, Noah Nixon, I will have you fired!
:''[Workers fixing set, Rex's phone rings.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Rex! Finally. How's the jacket?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Umm. Well, the good news is you won't notice the stain anymore. Hey uh, by the way, your page training, did it include anything about the creepy backstage in studio B?
:'''Noah Nixon: What? Why are you--
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No reason. I was just thinking, hypothetically, what would happen if I used your jacket to take a quick peek at the telenovela and ended up chasing some killer EVO mongoose? Hypothetically... Uh...Noah?
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Sorry, just trying to figure out how to tell my parents I have no future.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey I got this. I hit a little snag. Just keep your pants on.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' ''[sitting the maintenance closet in his underwear]'' Heh!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Sorry, look, you don't have anything to worry about all I have to do is catch the EVO before they finish shooting and clear my... your name.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' You know what? I'm not worried. I am completely resigned to the fact that I am losing my job. ''[Noah hangs up on Rex. Rex hears dial tone.]''
:'''Beatriz:''' ''[to Reynaldo]'' You are bleeding!
:'''Reynaldo:''' What I am is an actor! We must shoot this scene. We cannot let them cancel us! ''[moans and falls on his face crushing a chair]''
:'''Beatriz:''' You cannot go on.
:'''Isabella:''' If only there were someone else here who knows our show, is fluent in Spanish, and will do a scene in which he kisses me.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I'll do it!!!
:'''Reynaldo:''' You? The one who ruined our set and lied about the EVO? I'd rather die! But then, my life will surely end if the show is canceled, so maybe... But no! It's impossible. But yet, what is more impossible than a dream. Nothing means more than my dream of saving this telenovela!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' So, is that a--
:'''Reynaldo:''' Si. You will be our savior. And then I will have you fired. Accion!
:''[Rex is dressed as Reynaldo. Takes Isabella in his arms and looks deep into her eyes, smiles..then turns away, sees Mongo and gasps. Isabella pulls his face back to her and puckers for a kiss. Mongo squeaks and runs out the door and Rex turns his eyes towards it.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[thinking]'' Okay no kiss, but you're gonna save Noah's job! ''[groans]'' Nope. Doesn't make it any better. ''[Runs out Isabelle runs after him, trips on his wig and falls to the ground gasping, reaching after him]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[makes Rex Ride to chase Mongo down alley. Runs into a set. Falls]'' Where'd you go?
:'''Guy in suit:''' You! Page! Take this script to post, pronto.
:'''Rex Salazar: Hey wait, I'm not--
:'''Guy in suit:''' Oh? You're not going to do it? Are you talking back to me Mr.... Nixon?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No. Mr. Nixon is not definitely not talking back to whoever you are. ''[takes script, leaves]''
:'''Guy in suit:''' Nixon! ''[Points in the other direction of where Rex was going. Rex goes where he's pointing]''
:''[Rex walks by alley hears Mongo munching garbage, sneaks up, tries to cure it. It escapes, Rex corners it in dead end alley]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Oh you're not so tough when you can't hide, are you? ''[Mongo growls and grows huge]'' Oh so you can do that too. ''[Mongo roars, swipes at Rex with claws]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey, watch the jacket. I'm in enough trouble already. ''[Sets down scripts. Big fists. Mongo shrinks to escape. Rex falls to the ground. Mongo gets huge again behind him, tries to stomp on Rex, Rex rolls out of the way, Mongo shrinks and runs away, Rex climbs out of hole in ground breathing heavily and falls to ground.]''
:'''Guy in suit:''' ''[walks up]'' Are you kidding me? You still haven't delivered that script? ''[Rex runs off]''
:'''Guy in suit:''' Nixon! ''[points in other direction, Rex runs that way]''
:''[Mongo jumps off roof grows huge lands on Rex, grabs script.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey, gimme that! ''[grabs Mongo with big fist throws him into a stage building]''
:''[Rex looks in the hole into the stage.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Sorry. ''[runs off after Mongo]''
:''[Mongo throws him higher than the roof tops, Rex lands on big feet, Mongo tackles him. Rex lands in front of the post building, grabs remains of script out of Mongo's mouth. Mongo runs away, Rex gathers script remains and hands it to man at post door.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I think this is for you. ''[runs after Mongo]''
:''[Phone rings]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Did you catch it?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Not yet, but I delivered a script for you, well, most of it.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' I am so dead.
:'''Lady with clipboard:''' ''[grabs Rex by the collar]'' Noah Nixon, you're right on time for your two p.m. tour. ''[Gives Rex clipboard and keys]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[Driving tram with tourists]'' Uh, there's a building where some TV shows are made and there's another one and oh great there's the giant killer EVO.
:''[Mongo chasing tram, Rex steps on gas. Tram goes sloooow. Mongo attacks tram. Rex lands, catches tourists with big hands, flies off on hoverboard]''
:'''Tourist:''' They had better special effects at my kids' school play.
:''[Back on soap opera stage]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' I need a bigger reaction from you. Bigger!
:''[Rex crashes through ceiling with Mongo hanging on the bottom of his hoverboard, heading towards Isabella.]''
:''[Isabella screams and covers head, Mongo crashes into set]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' Yes! That's it exactly!
:''[Mongo growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Be careful or you're gonna get the hand. ''[big fists with right hand. Mongo jumps at him, Rex grins and raises his left hand and cures Mongo. Mongo lays on ground cute and unconscious.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' That's not the hand I meant.
:''[Actors, stunned, applaud]''
:''[Rex picks up Mongo.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' You are a good page, Noah Nixon.
:''[Mongo wakes up runs around on Rex and perches on his shoulder cutely.]''
:''[At supply closet with Noah, Rex walks in holding torn up jacket]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Oh, my jacket! ''[Cuddles jacket, then holds it up and glares at Rex through the hole in it. Rex grins guiltily.]''
:''[Head Page walks in, Noah hides jacket, then realizes he is in underwear and tries to hide himself behind jacket.]''
:'''Head Page:''' I got a dozen calls from all over the lot about you, Nixon. I don't know what you were thinking. ''[He sits down, sweat runs down his face, he closes his eyes, frowns, runs head away. Head page grabs him and hugs him.]''
:'''Head Page:''' I'm proud of you, kiddo! It took me sixty seven years to make chief page. I bet you'll get the job in half that time. ''[Noah stands up holding jacket in front of him. Rex and Noah look puzzled Head Page walks to door, turns back]''
:'''Head Page:''' Oh and them soap opera fellas, eh, they got a special reward for you. ''[they look at each other with puzzled frowns]''
:''[Telenovela stage, Noah dressed as Reynaldo. Isabella kisses him.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' And cut! You look differante than you did before, Noah Nixon. ''[Noah looks up at his blond eyebrows and takes off the wig and mustache. Smiles at Reynaldo. Reynaldo looks at him thoughtfully.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' I can see you've been to makeup. Good you finally look like a real man! ''[Noah smiles.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' [peeking in from backstage, makes a jealous face as Noah is laughing together with the actors.] It's OK, it's OK. You're a good friend, you're a good friend.
:'''Guy in suit:''' You! Quit talking to yourself and get me some coffee! ''[Rex runs off]'' Nixon!
:''[Mongo looking down from rafters]''

===Riddle of the Sphinx===
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' They uncovered the tunnel during routine sewer work. No one has set foot in here in over 3.500 years.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Providence doesn't work the location yet?
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' ''[laughs]'' The antiquities comission does not like this Black Knight. They keep her busy with much paperwork.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The maze looks like it extends for miles. They do that to keep looters out?
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' Or to keep something in.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Anything that was trapped in here couldn't be alive after all this time.
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' I-I-I must go.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''': Watch out! Bobby traps.
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' That's not what I'm afraid of.
:'''Bobo:''' It's only been a few days since we heard from Holiday.
:'''Six:''' Something's wrong.
:'''Bobo:''' Maybe she wanted a vacation from you clowns. &quot;Something's wrong.&quot;
:''[Bobo grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Providence! She in is trouble.
:'''Six:''' Black Knight. And she has your better half.
:'''Bobo:''' I'm predictin' an awkward situation.
:'''Black Knight:''' Hello, Rex. If you came for your friend, I'll have to disappoint you.
:'''Rex:''' That hairy creep? You can keep the traitor. Hey! My faithful guide, why don't you go away while we discuss business?
:'''Bobo:''' It's me, you dopey tin can! Beat it! Or the boss lady's gonna get wise to our little switcheroo.
:'''Rex:''' What's the campout for?
:'''Black Knight:''' Routine scientific research.
:'''Rex:''' Look, I know Holiday was here. What'd you do with her?
:'''Black Knight:''' We arrived an hour ago. The locals say Holiday unleashed a monster down in the tunnels. The situation's under control. As soon as we've secured the tunnels, I'll send a team in to see if she's still alive.
:'''Rex:''' I'm going with you.
:'''Black Knight:''' You're going nowhere. You quit Providence. Unless you're recosindering?
:'''Rex:''' Come on, guide. Holiday's in those tunnels. But Black Knight has a whole battalion of Providence goons guarding the entrance.
:'''Six:''' I figured she'd be no help. That's why I found someone who knows a back way in.
:'''Egyptian Cooker:''' The Kushari is healthy. For the stomach, good.
:'''Rex:''' Enough about the Kushari! Where's the back entrance?
:'''Egyptian Cooker:''' For so young, you in such a hurry. And old cook like me, I live by selling Kushari. Why not buy some? You buy, I give you more information.
:'''Bobo:''' Ah, come on. Stop bein' so stingy. Buy some more.
:'''Six:''' Where's the back entrance?
:'''Egyptian Cooker:''' The sewer man-- They came to fix a leak. They found the tunnel to the entrance in my basement.
:'''Bobo:''' Mmm!
:'''Rex:''' Way cool! Maybe we'll see some mummies!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Tell us where Holiday is!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Where do you think I am?
:'''Six:''' Holiday!
:'''Bobo:''' So, what's with the halloween get up, doc?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I found it in one of the chambers. Scares off the curious. I need to get to the bottom of all this before Black Knight.
:'''Rex:''' The bottom of what? This is all ancient history?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You can this ancient history?
:'''Rex:''' That looks like a nanite!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That's because it is a nanite.
:'''Six:''' How could they have knowledge back then?
:'''Rex:''' Aliens! Like the ones that built the pyramids.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' None of this is more advanced that the 21st century. It's not aliens. I think the answers lie behind this door. But I can't figure out how to open it.
:'''Rex:''' Open the door? No problem, Doc!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Stop! This whole place is booby-trapped. We open this wrong, they'll bring the tunnels down on us.
:'''Rex:''' If there's a wrong way to open it, then that means there's a right way, too. Maybe the nanite picture is a clue. The whole thing is rigged like one. Told you-- No prob. Whoa, mumies.
:'''Bobo:''' What are you lookin' at, beautiful?
:'''Rex:''' Ha! Awesome! I'd love to see the look on Knight's face when she finds out we've beat her here.
:'''Black Knight:''' Then let me step a little closer so you can see.
:'''Six:''' How'd you find us?
:'''Black Knight:''' Your mole helped me.
:'''Bobo:''' Sorry, pal.
:'''Black Knight:''' I should have known better. It's old junk from the dead.
:''[Black Knight gasps]''
:'''Guranset:''' Gharun Set is not dead.
:'''Rex:''' Put her down!
:'''Black Knight:''' This isn't the time for violence. Our host has forgotten his manners. I presume he hasn't had guests in a long time.
:'''Guranset:''' Almost an eternity. Gharun Set said has waited for his release. Awaken this cursed prison through the ages.
:'''Black Knight:''' You speak English. That is interesting. Who taught your own language, Gharun Set?
:'''Guranset:''' I was taught by the great father.
:'''Black Knight:''' Father? What did he look me?
:'''Guranset:''' He is dead-- As all of you soon shall be!
:'''Black Knight:''' Now's the time for violence.
:'''Guranset:''' Aah!
:'''Black Knight:''' A nanite disrupter. Something I had your brother's lab whip up. It's quite lethal.
:'''Rex:''' Looks like the lab forgot to tell him that.
:'''Guranset:''' The boy controls the engines of life? It can't be. I laid low the armies of six kingdoms, swordsman. You think your tiny blades can stop me?
:'''Rex:''' Try this one for size!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex!
:'''Rex:''' Huh?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' His staff is a nanite disrupter. Get it away from him.
:'''Rex:''' Easier said than done!
:'''Guranset:''' Haah!
:'''Rex:''' Oh, mummies!
:'''Bobo:''' Yeah, yeah, you got your mummies. I hope you're happy!
:'''Six:''' Rex! We can handle this! He's getting away!
:'''Guranset:''' One last trap to keep me imprisoned, father. Nothing will keep me from my destiny! You serve his plan, child, and don't even know it.
:'''Rex:''' Everybody talk weird in ancient Egypt, or it is just your special thing? Uh... are they supposed to do that?
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Guranset:''' Finally! I am free!
:'''Six:''' These EVO's won't say dead.
:'''Bobo:''' Their breath stinks, too! Ah, boy!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You could thank me for saving your life.
:'''Black Knight:''' Dr. Holiday, our lives are not safe yet.
:'''Guranset:''' I am not alone. Together, we shall reconquer this land, and then.. the world!
:'''Rex:''' Uh, I think the sun's baked him loopy. You can't reanimate that. It's a statue.
:'''Guranset:''' This is not statue, child. It is a tomb. Arise, my mighty steed. Arise, my sphinx!
:'''Rex:''' Providence, this is Rex. You may want to evacuate Cairo.
:'''Guranset:''' This city is a blight upon my kingdom. All shall be as it once was.
:'''Rex:''' I'm warning you, Gharun Set-- I don't want to have to get rough with you. Step off the pussycat.
:'''Guranset:''' You presume to tell a pharaoph what to do. Be gone!
:'''Six:''' Holiday. There's something I want to tell you before it's too late.
:'''Bobo:''' Ugh. Hold still! Oh, no.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' All of them. Like the nanites keeping them alive... self-destructed? I'm sorry. What were you going to say?
:'''Six:''' Holiday... I, uh...
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hold that thought.
:'''Bobo:''' What's it gonna be, the kooky chicks or we go help Rex save the world?
:'''Six:''' Rex probably has this under control. Holiday needs my-- our help.
:'''Bobo:''' Yeah, I can't resist a good catfight either.
:'''Rex:''' Let me handle! This it's too dangerous!
:'''Pilot:''' Black Knight, target sighted. It's riding a 50-foot-tall house cat. Please advise.
:'''Black Knight:''' Do not harm. Contain and capture. We need that specimen.
:''[Black Knight gasps]''
:'''Black Knight:''' Pilot disregard. Last order. Target no longer needed. Destroy. Repeat-- Destroy.
:'''Pilot:''' You're with the lady. Lock and load.
:'''Rex:''' Huh? Whoa! Get out of here! I don't know what he's up to, but it's not good.
:'''Garunset:''' Behold the majesty of my dream. My kingdom! My paradise!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' What is this place?
:'''Black Knight:''' It's the stuff of legends. The fabled hall of records which lay hidden beneath where the sphinx once was.
:'''Bobo:''' &quot;Was&quot;?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' This can't be! That's the helix splitter. And that looks like a nano-flux inducer. Caesar built the first prototype of one last year.
:'''Black Knight:''' I can't let you touch any of this. It's too unstable with age. When you blundered in the tomb, you set off a safeguard. Someone thought this room too dangerous for the world to know about.
:'''Bobo:''' Agreed. Let's scram!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' We can't! Don't you know what this means to science? The knowledge in here is invaluable. It cannot be lost-- Again!
:'''Black Knight:''' It won't be! Now that we know where it is, we can dig it out later. We will study it. I promise you that.
:'''Six''': Holiday. Let it go.
:'''Guranset''': As father promised-- I will rule forever.
:'''Rex''': Forever is gonna be shorter than you think.
:'''Guranset''': No! Nooooo!
:'''Rex''': Aw, come on! I didn't hit you that hard!
:''[Guranset gasps]''
:'''Rex''': What's happening to you?
:''[Guranset gasps]''
:'''Guranset''': Aaaaaaaaah!
:''[Guranset grunts]''
:'''Guranset''': Do not touch your pharaoh.
:'''Rex''': You need help. Your nanites are dying of old age-- I think. It's like starting an old car. Uh, o-or a camel. Let me help you. I can fix your nanites, and then maybe--
:'''Guranset''': Lies!
:'''Rex''': You're in a strange time, a strange place. We have science, machines. We can help you. Trust us.
:'''Guranset''': Like you trust the woman you call Black Knight? I see now this is a world of lies. You and I have no place in it. Father told me of you... Rex.
:'''Rex:''' What? How do you know my--
:'''Guranset''': I would have helped the world. Ended the hunger, the wars. But now he will return. Avenge me. ''[Echoing]'' I see now this is a world of lies. You and I have no place in it.
&lt;hr width80/&gt;
:'''Black Knight:''' You wanted something?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The hall of records-- You can't keep it a secret. It must be studied. That hall--
:'''Black Knight:''' What hall?
:'''Rex:''' Why'd you do that?! Holiday said--
:'''Black Knight:''' Some secrets are best left buried under the sands, Rex.
:''[Dr. Holiday grunts]''
:'''Black Knight:''' Gentleman. Dr. Holiday.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six, what'd you want to tell me back in the tomb?
:'''Six:''' It can wait.
:'''Rex:''' Don't wait too long.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' All those priceless artifacts. And we still don't know who created Gharun Set.

===Guy vs. Guy===
:'''Rex:''' This means war.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Double Vision===
: ''[The episode starts as a butterfly flies through plants in a flower shop. Suddenly, Rex is thrown into the shop window, making nearby civilians run away. Rex gets up and looks out of the broken glass, seeing a beastly plant EVO, a few people watching, and Agent Six slashing his swords around to evade the EVO's tentacles.]''
: '''Rex:''' ''[Pants and brushes leaves off his sleeve and puts on goggles.]'' Not bad!
: ''[Uses the Punk Busters to jump out of the shop and generates his Smack Hands to uppercut the EVO, causing it to crash into a nearby building.]'' But I'm better!
: ''[The EVO gets out of the glass windows and roars, attacking Agent Six.]''
: '''Agent Six:'''	''[Cuts off a tentacle and walks towards Rex.]'' Talk is cheap, Rex. Prove it.
: '''Rex:''' ''[Generating the Smack Hands.]'' No problemo.
: ''[The EVO rushes towards Rex, unfortunately, Rex grabs it and slams it onto the ground. A random girl is driving up the road on a moped. However, she is stopped as the EVO blocks the path.]''
: '''Rex:''' ''[Putting his hands up to assure the girl.]'' Nothing to worry about, I've got this handled. ''[Turns to EVO, whom is still on the floor.]'' Okay big guy, say adiós to those nasty nanites.
: '''Rex:''' ''[Rex kneels down to cure the EVO, flowers spout out of the EVO]'' Aw, for me? Does this mean we're dating?
: ''[Suddenly, the flowers shoot out some goo into Rex's face, making him slam onto the floor, a crowd forms around the battle.]''
: '''Rex:''' ''[Yelps while getting up and pulls his goggles off and wipes the goo off his face.]'' Oh, that's better. ''[He gives his goggles to the random female on the moped]'' Hey! Watch these for me. ''[Runs back into battle and generates the Punk Busters and kicks the blacked out EVO over a building.]'' Goal! Hey thanks for holding onto my...huh?...
: ''[Rex turns around to see the girl missing from the crowd. Deforming his Punk Busters, he spots the girl riding away on her moped. She turns to look back at Rex, appearing to have on his goggles.]''
: '''Rex:''' Goggles!
: ''[Rex puts one of his hands up to signal for her to wait, but the EVO returns and wraps its tentacle around Rex's neck. The EVO twists Rex in mid-air in the sky for a minute before slamming him onto the cement. Rex gets up and sees the goggle girl riding away out of sight.]''
: '''Rex:''' Hey! You've got my...ungh...goggles... Aah! Ungh! Did you see that girl?! She stole my goggles!
: '''Agent Six:''' Priorities, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' They are my priority, Six. I can pound EVOs any day. Those goggles are-- Ah, great. Who invited her?
: '''Black Knight:''' Stand down, gentlemen. We've got this covered.
: '''Rex:''' We don't need any help. Whoa! Whoa! Ungh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Obviously. Control collar-- Now. We'll take it from here.
: '''Rex:''' Take it from whe-e-re?! I've already got this under contro-o-o-o-l! Whoa! Ugh! Let me try to cure it.
: '''Black Knight:''' The new Providence protocol is to confine, constrain and control. If curing is an option, it will be considered-- At my discretion.
: '''Rex:''' Control? I can cure it now and end this.
: '''Black Knight:''' The offer still stands. If you want to come back to Providence, you can continue your mission.
: '''Rex:''' I have my mission!
: '''Black Knight:''' Curing every EVO on Earth isn't a mission, Rex. It's an impossibility.
: '''Rex:''' Watch me.
: '''Black Knight:''' Everybody back! Contain those seedlings!
: '''Rex:''' You just made it worse! Now I've got to clean up your mess. Starting with this guy. See? Fearing works!
: '''Black Knight:''' It was your actions that exacerbated this situation. I want full containment and control over those seedlings. Move out-- Now.
: '''Agent Six:''' While you were arguing, Holiday found another sprout. Let's go deal with that before Providence does.
: '''Rex:''' But-- My goggles!
: '''Agent Six:''' Focus, Rex. We've got work to do.
: '''Rex:''' Nice work!
: '''Agent Six:''' Drop in the bucket. Look below.
: '''Rex:''' Wow. And I thought I'd be able to knock off early today.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' On the contrary, Rex. By overlaying current worldwide wind patterns on top of international population centers, we're looking at total global infestation within thirty-eight hours.
: '''Bobo:''' Ooh, that's a lot of roughage.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' I need to get in the field and obtain some live samples. Bobo and I will meet you at the rendezvous point in the mobile command center.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, doc. We're almost there. Hey! It's that girl! Wh-o-o-o-oa!
: '''Agent Six:''' What's gotten into you, Rex?
: '''Rex:''' My goggles-- I can't see without them!
: '''Agent Six:''' Obviously, you can see without them.
: '''Rex:''' Well, yeah, but I really need them a lot of the time. Don't you remember when I first got them?
: '''Agent Six:''' Actually, no.
: '''Rex:''' Oh. Sorry. My bad. It was early on, when I was just learning to control my powers. Whoa!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Aaaah! Aah! Aaaaah! Oof!
: '''Agent Six:''' Horse manure.
: '''Rex:''' This is exactly why I need my goggles! Hey! I thought this thing was just a sprout!
: '''Agent Six:''' It's the nature of plants to grow.
: '''Rex:''' Hm. Very Zen of you, Six. Well, it's the nature of me to kick EVO butt! Whoa! Oof! Yuck! This stuff really stinks!
: '''Agent Six:''' All yours.
: '''Rex:''' Ta-da! And for my next trick... Oh, and look who's late to the party.
: '''Black Knight:''' ''[Entering]'' Alpha team, I want you to lay down suppressive fire and--
: ''[Realizing the EVOs not there]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Belay that. Sit Ops, I was told we had a Class-Three EVO situation here. Where is the EVO?
: '''Rex:''' ''[Rex hands her flowers]'' Sorry. This is all that's left. Six, are we good here? I've got to run.
: '''Agent Six:''' I'd put those in water.
: '''Black Knight:''' Unh!
: '''Rex:''' Slow down! I just want to-- Ungh!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex:''' Huh? What?! No way! Hey! You've got my-- Ugh! Whoa! ...Goggles.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You've got bigger problems than a girl on a scooter, Rex. First a flower shop, then gardening supplies. It's getting hungrier. Gentlemen, I suggest you get to the sewage-treatment plant as quickly as possible.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Why?
: '''Agent Six:''' Fertilizer, Rex, as in if those sprouts chow down on that much raw nourishment, we're in some deep...
: ''[Plant EVO bursts through a nearby wall]''
: '''Rex:''' ...Horse maneure. Hungry? Eat this!
: '''Agent Six:''' Holiday, get to the sewage plant. We'll meet you there after we clean up.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Clean up? I'd rather make a mess! Shoulda brought my chainsaw.
: '''Agent Six:''' Shoot the seedlings!
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Okay, this time I'm going to--
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Hey! Wait! Aw, man! Back off!
: ''[Rex panting]''
: '''Bobo:''' You went a little nuts there, buddy. I like it! But... Goggles?
: '''Rex:''' That EVO interrupted before I could finish the story.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Agent Six:''' Here, kid. Try these on.
: '''Rex:''' Um, so I can look like a total doofus?
: '''Agent Six:''' You have no idea how unique these goggles are, Rex. A reclusive weaponsmith in Zurich crafted this single pair before he turned EVO.
: '''Rex:''' Really? And then what happened to him?
: '''Agent Six:''' I did. He won't be crafting any more goggles.
: '''Rex:''' Cool!
: '''Agent Six:''' These are one-of-a-kind, Rex-- Special, for you.
: '''Bobo:''' What a bunch of chimp chips! Those goggles are-- Whoa!
: '''Rex:''' Wow. That is a lot of rampaging EVO.
: '''Bobo:''' Yeah. Lucky holiday-- She's right in the thick of it.
: '''Rex:''' Lucky?
: '''Bobo:''' She gets to try out all the special modifications I made to that sweet ride.
: ''[Dr. Holiday grunts]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Plant EVO has Holiday trapped inside the Mobile Command Center]'' Okay. Let's see how you like 10,000 volts of--
: ''[Holiday presses a button, and music starts playing]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Bobo's mix tape?! Who puts the stereo next to the weapons system?! One more time-- Big red button. Always go for the big red button. Unless you don't want to drain the batteries to zero.
: ''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Bobo, your improvements could use some improvements. Rex, if you're not too busy, I'd appreciate a little assistance.
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, ain't that your girlfriend?
: '''Agent Six:''' She can take care of herself, right, Rex?
: '''Rex:''' Right-- For now.
: ''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' That's more like it. Ungh! Fine! Let's see how you like this! I don't know what you just did, Rex, but thanks. Rex?
: '''Black Knight:''' I admit our last encounter didn't end well, but I think we need to work together on this one.
: '''Rex:''' You want to work together? We left Providence, remember?
: '''Black Knight:''' Rex--
: '''Rex:''' What happened to &quot;stay out of my way&quot;?
: '''Black Knight:''' Rex!
: '''Rex:''' So now when you need somebody to take out your trash, you can just forget that I quit your crummy organization?
: '''Black Knight:''' Yes, Rex, I can, because I don't let my emotions guide my choices. I only want what's best for Providence-- And the world.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, cool. Just wanted to hear you say it. Aah!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, the EVO is too big to cure without getting to its core.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah, well, I'm not doing much good out here!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' All those vines, the seedlings, everything-- They're just puppets to the plant. Stop those nanites in the core, and you cut the strings.
: '''Rex:''' On it! Huh?!
: '''Agent Six:''' Watch it, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' Whoa! All I want are my goggles. All I've wanted all day are my goggles, and this EVOs been blocking me over and over! Hey, Bobo, you know how to shoot one of these?
: '''Bobo:''' Eh, how hard could it be?
: '''Rex:''' Load me into this thing and point it right at that EVO's sweet spot. And hurry. I got better stuff to do.
: '''Bobo:''' You do know that's 30,000 gallons of raw sewage you're aimin' at?
: '''Rex:''' Don't remind me. Oh... Yuck! Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck!
: '''Agent Six:''' Elegant solution, Rex.
: '''Bobo:''' You don't smell elegant. You stink worse than me. I'm a little jealous.
: '''Black Knight:''' All right, Rex. Get to work.
: '''Rex:''' Work? What do you mean? I just served that vegetable!
: '''Black Knight:''' You cut the strings, but you still have to fix the puppets.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' She's right, Rex.
: '''Black Knight:''' You want to cure the world? Start curing.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex:''' Whoa, man, I'm beat! I don't think I can move another inch if you paid me.
: ''[Goggle girl rides past him]''
: '''Rex:''' Gotta move! See ya! Hey! Stop for a second! Six, I'm really starting to think this girl's got some kind of EVO action going on-- Teleporter, speedster, something.
: '''Goggle girl:''' Hey!
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Six, she's not just a teleporter. She can make doubles of herself-- Multiple abilities! She's an EVO, like me!
: '''Goggle girl:''' It's the skeevy guy who's been chasing me. He was chasing me, too. And me. What do you want?
: '''Rex:''' You took my goggles! I want them back!
: '''Goggle girl:''' Hey, Einstein, did you see our logo? That stands for &quot;Goggle Girl&quot;, as in the delivery service. You haven't ever heard of us?
: '''Rex:''' Um... No.
: '''Goggle girl:''' &quot;Nothing is cuter than a girl on a scooter.&quot; Kind of hard to miss.
: ''[Goggle girl groans]''
: '''Goggle girl:''' It's the worst slogan ever.
: '''Rex:''' But-- But my goggles!
: '''Goggle girl:''' Part of our costume. The boss buys them in bulk, along with these cheesy wigs he makes us wear. It's kind of lame.
: '''Rex:''' In bulk?! Those goggles?! But... They're one-of-a-kind! They're special! They're-- They're... I'll just go now. Nope. Nope. Definitely not.
: '''Agent Six:''' I still don't know why those goggles were so important to you.
: '''Rex:''' You gave to me, Six. It was the first present, the first nice thing that I remember getting since you found me. You said they were special, and that made me feel special.
: '''Six:''' Yes, about those goggles... Apparently, according to Bobo, I may have misled you. There was dozens of them in the Providence service bay.
: '''Rex:''' I knew the story was fake, but you told it because you cared about me. That's what made them special.
: '''Agent Six:''' I see.
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, champ. You got a package.
: '''Goggle girl:''' Sign, please.
: '''Agent Six:''' It's for you. From us. Just open it.
: '''Rex:''' My goggles!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Better. We commissioned an enhanced version.
: '''Rex:''' Cool! Infrared... Microscopic... Nanovision?! Thanks, you guys. You really are one-of-a-kind.
: '''Bobo:''' Those are great, but these are me.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' I just need to hold on to them for a few more hours while I run a full diagnostic.
: '''Rex:''' A few hours?! I just got them! Aw!
: '''Bobo:''' Here-- Because I care.
: '''Goggle girl:''' They actually look kinda cute.
: '''Rex:''' Hey, doc! No rush!
: '''Bobo:''' Ain't love grand?

===Black and White===
: '''Calan:''' Be advised, we've got activity. Major activity. Stop right there, or we'll shoot! Don't make me do it.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, I know what you're thinking, but this is totally not what it looks like.
: '''Calan:''' Calan to command, tell Black Knight-- We have apprehended the intruders. Repeat, we got'em.
: '''Rex:''' No! Get out of my head! Stop it! Stop! Stop with the talking! A dream. Oh, thank you! For a second, I swore that I heard his voice. It was almost like he was in the-- Room. Huh?!
: '''White Knight:''' I was wondering if I was gonna have to send the monkey in with a bucket of water. But I thought, &quot;why should he have all the fun?&quot; Five minutes-- Situation room. Consider this your wake-up call.
: '''Rex:''' Aren't you supposed to be playing dead? You're lucky Black Knight doesn't know you're here.
: '''White Knight:''' Black Knight thinks what I want her to think. With the installation of the new regime, I suspected that there was more going on at providence than just this new control protocol. I decided to test my hypothesis. I needed time to operate freely without prying eyes. So I went off the grid.
: '''Rex:''' And from the smell of it, you haven't changed out of your suit since then.
: ''[Bobo sniffs]''
: '''White Knight:''' I've been busy. I've been tracking their operations. They involve familiar locales and even more familiar machinery.
: '''Rex:''' You still use a camera with film? Do they even make that stuff anymore?
: '''White Knight:''' What they don't make are machines like these. This is the wreckage of Rylander's lab.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Are they doing what I think they're doing?
: '''Rex:''' Do what?
: '''White Knight:''' It appears that this new Providence is restarting the nanite program.
: '''Rex:''' There is no way my brother would help restart something that nearly destroyed the world. There's got to be a good explanation. We should just ask him.
: '''White Knight:''' We can't risk direct contact. We need to infiltrate Providence, download her computer banks, and assess how far along they are before we take any other actions.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Over there.
: '''Rex:''' Just saying there's more here than meets the eye. Whoa!
: '''Six:''' Breaking into Providence? That's a big move, even for you. Black Knight is sure to have enhanced the security systems. We may be able to breach the perimeter defenses, but once inside, we'd be blind targets.
: '''White Knight:''' You'd be right if we were playing on her board.
: '''Six:''' Forgive me for doubting you.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, is someone gonna tell me what these are for? This is so not going to work.
: '''Six:''' Trust the plan.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Okay, so, maybe they worked. But how'd you get them to do it on cue?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' All a matter of timing. Assuming we get past the outer perimeter, securing the data is a completely different story. Providence encrypts all data. We need to disable multiple units before we can download anything off the mainframe. Doing that undetected is ''[sighs]'' insane.
: '''Rex:''' Finally, a voice of reason. I'm calling my brother. Took the lady with three phds to realize what I've been saying all along is right. Hey, that costs money! I'm over my minutes!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' How did you... This is...
: '''Six:''' Doable.
: '''Rex:''' Do what? What is that? A secret passage.
: '''White Knight:''' When they built the tower, I had them install, these-- Upper-management corridors.
: '''Six:''' In the old days, they called passages like these the king's road.
: '''White Knight:''' From here, we face some unknowns. Stick to the plan. Or we could die.
: '''Rex:''' What?! Me?! What about you?! Part of the plan was to do this quietly.
: '''Calan:''' Stop right there, or we'll shoot!
: ''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Here we go. Ok, I know what you're thinking, but this is totally not what it looks like.
: '''White Knight:''' Stand down, Rex.
: ''[Calan laughs]''
: '''Calan:''' Welcome back, sir. We've been waiting for you.
: '''Rex:''' Que, huh?
: '''Calan:''' Sorry for the scare, Rex. We couldn't guarantee the Black Knight wasn't taper our communications. It was best to keep radio silence. In any case-- Say hello to your man on the inside. He've got a bomb! All units, fall back, fall back! Captain Calan, do you copy? Report.
: '''White Knight:''' Ready for a repeate performance?
: '''Calan:''' Ready when you are, sir. Good luck, everyone. They're headed for the... petting zoo.
: '''Holiday:''' Here it is. Just like he said.
: '''White Knight:''' This is the Hive. The central nervous system of the entire complex. An electric field protects the inner chambers. We'll need the circuit bandage.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' I've got an idea, but you'll have to go in partially naked. We've got eyes everywhere.
: '''Six:''' Good. Knight and I will handle the encryption towers. You know what to do with this.
: '''Rex:''' No sweat. I'm on it. Just have to make one quick detour. Bro? You in here? Oh, no. No, no, no!
: '''Caesar:''' Rex, is that you? What brings you here?
: ''[Six groans]''
: '''Six:''' Partially naked. Tower one clear. Proceed to next phase.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Got it. Redirecting the data flow now.
: '''Calan:''' Anyone hear for the monkey?
: '''Rex:''' Huh?!
: '''Bobo:''' Offical pet desk. Keep your distance.
: '''Rex:''' Is that Dr. Rylander?
: '''Caesar:''' It is. Well, almost. After you brought back Van Kleiss, I couldn't help but to wonder if perhaps I might do the same for him. Unfortunately, Van Kleiss was already great in tune the nanites. As you can see, Dr. Rylander-- wasn't.
: '''Rex:''' Ok, whatever. Listen, I'm here on a secret mission.
: '''Caesar:''' Secret? 
: '''Rex:''' White Knight said--
: '''Caesar:''' White Knight is alive?
: '''Rex:''' If you can call him that. Anyway, he says... you might wanna sit down for this part? That Black Knight is restarting the nanite program. Don't you think that's messed up?
: '''Caesar:''' On the contrary. I'm in charge of it.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Commencing download in T-2 minutes. White Knight has infiltrated sector three. You're right. They are monitoring our movements. How did you know?
: '''White Knight:''' It's what I would do. Now start evac protocols.
: '''Black Knight:''' I've torn this facility apart looking for that? When I found it, I still couldn't get to it. Bio-feed security system-- Clever. You have to be nanite-free to open it. I guessed you weren't dead. I knew if I let enough info leak about what we're doing here, you've showed up, eventually. I'll take it.
: '''White Knight:''' You can try.
: '''Black Knight:''' What ever you say. You were the boss.
: '''White Knight:''' That's not a providence toy.
: '''Black Knight:''' A woman is entitled her secrets. Especially when those secrets keep me alive.
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''White Knight:''' Ohh! What I could've done with you if I hired you first.
: '''Black Knight:''' Don't fool yourself, White.
: '''White Knight:''' Ohh, ohh, ohh!
: '''Black Knight:''' You were bandage at best. the Consortium knew that you weren't the leader for the future. Stand down, old man!
: '''White Knight:''' I've got a few secrets of my own, kid. After all, this was my office. Consortium or not, it will be again.
: '''Black Knight:''' Ugh!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Be advised, they're on to us. Making for the rendezvous.
: '''Six:''' I'll take my swords back now. Please.
: '''Rex:''' What are you doing, helping Black Knight? She's obviously the more psycho of the two knights.
: '''Caesar:''' I'm not helping the Black Knight do anything. I'm trying to fix things. The day everything changed. We never imagined what would happen when we released the nanites.
: '''Rex:''' Release them?! You caused the nanite event?!
: '''Caesar:''' It was the only way we were going to save the world.
: '''Rex:''' You unleashed the worst man-made disaster the world has ever seen!! You've ruined countless lives!! How can you say that you saved anything?!
: '''Caesar:''' You weren't there... not in any way that mattered! If we hadn't--
: '''Rex:''' Hold that thought. Here, doggy, doggy.
: '''Six:''' Excessive?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Sweet, actually. Now you're overdoing it.
: '''White Knight:''' ''[panting]'' Are we finished here? ''[screams]'' Careful, Black. Your council wouldn't be too pleased if you destroyed the very thing you're after.
: '''Black Knight:''' If doesn't have to be like this, White! The Consortium may have lost faith in you, but you know my methods are right. Come back. Under my protection, who knows? There may even be a promotion in it for you.
: '''White Knight:''' You would turn on your own masters?
: '''Black Knight:''' For that kind of power, wouldn't you?
: '''White Knight:''' You would turn on your own masters?
: '''Black Knight:''' For that kind of power, wouldn't you?
: '''White Knight:''' I am going to stop the Consortium. If you or Providence gets in my way, this tape goes public.
: '''Black Knight:''' Wait!
: '''Caesar:''' Rex, stop! You're destroying my work!
: '''Rex:''' Your work is done! And so are we! I got it. Time to blow this--
: '''Black Knight:''' Stand down, Rex. Face it, kiddo... today is not your day.
: '''Rex:''' Actually, today's wednesday, and wednesday means fiesta night at the cafeteria. Getting in is going to be cake... very dangerous cake. Any bright ideas on how we're getting out?
: '''Bobo:''' I got one word for you, kid-- Plumbing.
: '''Rex:''' I got it. Time to blow this...
: '''Bobo:''' Taco stand.
: '''White Knight:''' Aah!
: '''Bobo:''' Me and Van Gogh, unappreciated in our time.
: '''Rex:''' All of that-- Was for that?! I got nanites, billions of 'em.
: '''White Knight:''' Not like this one, Rex. This is a Meta Nanite. One of several. Hardwired into its design is a program for the original Dominion Code.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Dominion Code? I thought that was a myth.
: '''White Knight:''' I can assure you, doctor, it is very real. Each one gives its host control over different building blocks of the universe- matter, antimatter, elemental, space, time, reality. With the complete code, you can control them. And through them, you control ''everything''. In sort, it's the God Code.
: '''Rex:''' The Consortium want to be...gods?
: '''White Knight:''' If it wasn't for the original Nanite Event scattering the Metas across the globe, they may have already succeeded. The situation has changed, people. Black Knight has been searching the globe for the other Meta-Nanites. She needs them all to complete the Master Program. As long as we're keeping her secret, she'll hold off. But sooner or later, she'll be coming for this with the full power of Providence and the Consortium at her back. So... if you want to move on, forget what I've told you.
: '''Rex:''' You're not getting rid of us that easily, old man. My parents died for this. Black Knight wants war, war she gets.

===Deadzone===
: '''Holiday:''' &quot;You cannot let him out of your sight, Rex. Don't you see why Black Knight wants him? He's the ultimate insurance against any E.V.O.&quot;
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Not just any. Me.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Black Knight:''' &quot;Since the search for Feakins is going nowhere, we have no choice but to become much more aggressive with Rex.&quot;

===Assault on Abysus===
: '''Diane Farrah:''' Through research and hard work, Providence has turned the curse of the EVO into a blessing. One that will serve mankind. Science and compassion have created a new future for all EVOs. A future filled with happiness and hope.
: '''Black Pawn:''' You? Seen some EVOs pass through here?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
*Rex and Circe finally admit their true feelings for one another. Unfortunately, there was not enough episodes to explore their romance further.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: ''[Somewhere in [[w:Hong Kong|Hong Kong, China]]'']''
: '''Circe:''' Okay. They're gone.
: '''Skywwd:''' For now. Get out of here, Circe. Run!
: '''Circe:''' I'm not leaving you guys.
: '''Skywwd:''' You can pass as human. Go-- Before Providence gets you too.
: '''Black Pawn:''' The girl! She's with them!
: '''Skwwyd:''' Run!
: '''Rex:''' Hmm? What's up?
: '''Circe:''' You're the only person I could turn to.
: '''Rex:''' Circe?
: '''Circe:''' I don't know. That's the hardest part.
: '''Rex:''' You did what you had to do.
: '''Circe:''' I left them there, Rex. Our friends. Providence has to be stopped. Someone needs to do something.
: '''Rex:''' ''[puts his arms around Circe to comfort her]'' We are.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Am I disturbing you two?
: '''Rex:''' No.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' White Knight wants to talk with you.
: '''Rex:''' Ugh. What's he gonna yell at me for this time?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' No, I meant Circe. He wants to talk to her.
: '''Circe:''' Providence has been hunting these down, too?
: '''White Knight:''' You didn't tell her about them, Rex?
: '''Rex:''' I thought the Master Control Nanites were supposed to be top secret.
: '''White Knight:''' She has to know if she's going to lead the mission.
: '''Rex:''' Her? That was supposed to be my mission.
: '''White Knight:''' It's no one's mission. It's about getting the job done.
: '''Circe:''' Why me?
: '''White Knight:''' Intelligence indicates that Providence has targeted a Master Control Nanite in Abysus. In Van Kleiss' old castle, to be more precise. You're the only one with the knowledge to get us in there.
: '''Rex:''' I've been there before. How hard could it be? Circe, you don't have to.
: '''Circe:''' If it helps stop Black Knight in Providence, I'm in.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, Doc. We made it. The new power suit gave me more range, just like you said.
: ''[Circe whistles]''
: '''Circe:''' Thanks, Banak. We're trying to keep a low profile. Don't tell anyone, okay?
: '''Rex:''' Good thing you knew the secret whistle or we might have been rooting around forever.
: ''[Rex chuckles]''
: '''Rex:''' Get it? &quot;Root&quot;? Uh... This can't be easy coming back here. I owe you.
: '''Circe:''' Forget it. We're even. I used you in the past, now you and your friends are using me.
: '''Rex:''' Is there some sort of problem between you and me?
: '''Circe:''' There's nothing between you and me. Just the mission. I don't have good memories of this place. Let's just leave it at that, okay?
: '''Rex:''' Fine. I'm surprised we haven't run into-- Ugh!
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Skalamander:''' Traitor! Stop her!
: '''Circe:''' Aah!
: '''Rex:''' Can you chill?! There's no time for this. Who's leading you now that Van Kleiss is gone? I need to speak to your leader. Figures. Biowolf, we have a problem. And... I need your help.
: '''Biowulf:''' I will listen.
: '''Rex:''' Great, because--
: '''Biowulf:''' Only after you. earn the right-- Through combat.
: ''[Biowulf growls]''
: ''[Rex spits]''
: '''Rex:''' At least Van Kleiss was civilized. Buckle up, dog boy.
: '''Biowulf:''' You may speak. This nanite you want-- It's not here. None of us have seen it up in the castle or the blast source.
: '''Rex:''' I didn't say up. It's down. White Knight thinks it's under the castle. Some other secure lab area.
: '''Biowulf:''' The primary chamber?
: '''Circe:''' It's under the castle? Van Kleiss always said it was forbidden for us to go there.
: '''Rex:''' You think he remembered to tell Black Knight that? Let me take it out of here.
: '''Biowulf:''' No! You're a traitor to your own kind. A lapdog to these humans. I've heard enough!
: '''Rex:''' All of us will fall-- All EVOs-- If she gets it. Black Knight is worse than you know. If I don't get the nanite out of here, Providence will take it.
: '''Biowulf:''' Providence! This is Abysus, the heart of the EVO world. Providence wouldn't dare.
: '''Circe:''' The sentries have spotted something.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. I wonder who.
: '''Providence Soldier:''' Black Knight, the assault forces are in place.
: '''Black Knight:''' The field is yours. We've secured the borders. No chance White Knight and his team will get in the country to interfere.
: '''Biowulf:''' The castle is surrounded.
: '''Rex:''' Standard operating procedure for Providence is to secure the perimeter, then close for attack. Black Knight will have snuck forces around back.
: '''Skalamander:''' How should we counter?
: '''Rex:''' Easy.
: '''Biowulf:''' You take your nanite. I'll decide how to deal with the invaders.
: '''Black Pawn:''' Deploy the collars. Rise. Forward. Attack.
: '''Rex:''' The nanite event blew away half the castle. This must have been deep enough to survive it. Huh? You hear that?
: '''Circe:''' No. Hear what?
: '''Rex:''' Uh... Nothing. This place would make a great rec room. Maybe a karaoke machine over there--
: '''Circe:''' Van Kleiss would send volunteers down here to try and get in. None of them ever came back.
: '''Rex:''' Well... That's encouraging.
: '''Circe:''' What is it?
: '''Rex:''' They're... I-I think they're nanites. They're following our lights. They can't see in the dark. I have a plan. Lead them back.
: '''Circe:''' ''[concerned]'' Rex?
: '''Rex:''' When I say &quot;roll,&quot; roll.
: '''Circe:''' What?!
: '''Rex:''' Roll! Circe, sing!
: ''[Circe uses her ultrasonic blasts on the EVOs and beams at Rex.]''
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Rex:''' We always made a good team.
: '''Circe:''' It won't hold them long.
: '''Rex:''' You think this is why Van Kleiss always wanted me-- So I could get him in here?
: '''Biowulf:''' Providence has breached the castle. We can't hold our position much longer.
: '''Rex:''' Go. I'll get the Master-Control Nanite. ''[Notices how worried Circe is about him probably not returning]'' This isn't Hong Kong. I'll be okay. I'll meet up with you soon.
: '''Biowulf:''' They've turned our own people against us.
: '''Circe:''' Let me see what I can do.
: ''[Circe uses her ultrasonic bursts on several collared EVOs]''.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: ''[Circe gasping]''
: '''Circe:''' So many.
: '''Biowulf:''' You can't stop the ones they've collared.
: '''Circe:''' I can go down trying.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Black Pawn:''' Her sonics are disrupting the offensive.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Black Pawn:''' Hyah! Unh!
: '''Biowulf:''' If we can't defeat them, we'll take down as many as we can fighting.
: '''Circe:''' This isn't one battle. It's a war. And we can't let it end here before Rex has the Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Biowulf:''' What, then?
: '''Circe:''' Tactical retreat.
: ''[Circe whistles]''
: '''Rex:''' Huh. Dad.
: '''Providence Soldier:''' Outer rooms of the castle secured.
: '''Black Pawn:''' I don't need you here, Black Knight. It's only a matter of time. We will take the castle piece by piece.
: ''[Skalamander growling]''
: '''Black Pawn:''' You are ours now. Down.
: ''[Skalamander grunting]''
: '''Skalamander:''' Rex is here. He will make you bow to us!
: '''Black Knight:''' This is all a diversion. Find Rex before he gets the Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Black Pawn:''' Yes, Ma'am.
: '''Black Knight:''' Either you do it or I will. I'm on my way.
: '''Rex:''' This place... Rylander had the same type of lab.
: '''Soldier:''' Security system engaged.
: '''Rex:''' No!
: '''Soldier:''' Intruder. Provide authorized identity or be terminated. Identify. Identify. Identify. Identify.
: '''Rex:''' Aah! I'm Rex! Rex Salazar!
: '''Soldier:''' Salazar genetype-- Accepted.
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex:''' There you are, you little troublemaker. You're coming home with the good guys. Uhh. Weird. Uh... I don't suppose you're looking for the karaoke machine? Running into you-- What a coincidence. Come down here a lot? Whoa! Missed me.
: '''Black Pawn:''' I have the nanite. Keep the boy busy while I get it to Black Knight.
: '''Rex:''' No!
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Rex:''' You two sure know how to make an entrance.
: '''Circe:''' The others are getting hammered by Provindence. They're barely holding them off in the dungeon.
: '''Rex:''' Gee! Van Kleiss has a dungeon. What a surprise.
: '''Biowulf:''' This is no joke. They might die because I came down here to save you.
: '''Rex:''' I won't let them get taken. I promise you that. But I need you to let me call the shots.
: ''[Biowulf sighs]''
: '''Biowulf:''' Very well.
: '''Rex:''' Circ, dungeon left or right?
: '''Circe:''' Left. The dungeon's the other way.
: '''Rex:''' I'm not looking for the dungeon. I'm looking for the scouts. : '''Black Pawn:''' Nothing.
: '''Rex:''' Well, maybe a little something.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Rex:''' Scouts. Classic Providence tactics-- So they don't get ambushed. Uhh. What is this place?
: '''Biowulf:''' The old reservoir. It goes to the river.
: '''Rex:''' Perfect. ''[deep voice]'' Scout to command. West wing, reservoir-- We've found a back way onto what must be the main EVO force. It's five times the size of what you're fighting.
: '''Black Pawn:''' Roger, scout. All forces, withdraw from dungeon siege. Report to west wing, reservoir. Ambush maneuver lambda.
: '''Rex:''' ''[normal voice]'' Get your troops. It's bath time.
: '''Biowulf:''' Now you bow to Rex!
: '''Rex:''' The Providence goons are contained, Biowulf. They shouldn't be any more trouble. And I got the Master-Control Nanite. Looks like mission accomplished.
: '''Circe:''' Rex, I--
: ''[She and Rex cling to each other as the castle begins shaking.]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Rex, order your friends to surrender. You're all under Providence custody. I always knew it might be impossible to capture the Master-Control Nanite in the heart of the nanite infestation. So the solution was to remove it.
: '''Circe:''' It's Hong Kong all over again.
: '''Rex:''' No. We can fight. We'll double back and-- A-and then--
: '''Biowulf:''' Go! Get the nanite out of here!
: '''Rex:''' No! I promised you!
: '''Biowulf:''' You were right. That nanite is more important than anyone here. Including myself. I am the leader. I give the orders. Run!
: ''[Rex panting]''
: '''Rex:''' They were counting on me. I don't want to leave them.
: '''Circe:''' I did what I had to do. You do what you have to. I want you to know, all this was never about me just using you.
: ''[Circe gasps]''
: ''[Finally admits her true romantic feelings for Rex in the form of a passionate kiss. She then pushes a shocked Rex off the ledge, so he could escape; and her getting collared and captured in his stead. She smiled with tears in her eyes, with the promise that she would be okay.]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' ''[burdened by Circe admitting her intense love for him and sacrifice]'' We all make sacrifices for the things we care about-- The people we love. But when the stakes are this high, who can we trust? What would that power do to anyone who had it? They attacked Abysus. What's stopping them from attacking us for these nanites?
: '''White Knight:''' They will-- Sooner or later. That's why I want to turn the tables on them first.
: '''Rex:''' You know how to do that so we survive in one piece?
: '''White Knight:''' Not yet.

===Remote Control===
: '''Cricket:''' If you think we're going to thank you for getting us out of there, Quarry...
: '''Quarry:''' I think you're going to do exactly as I say.
: (''Activates the mind-control collar on her neck'')
: '''Cricket:''' AH!!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Cricket, it's me! Rex! Used to a crush on me!?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Let them go. They'll lead us straight to Quarry.
: '''Cricket:''' &quot;Used to have a crush&quot;?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Cricket:''' You know how collared E.V.O.s follow kind of like a robot. with these collars, it's worse. It's like you're a remote-controlled robot.
: '''Rex:''' That is a nasty hack.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' Your friends are very valuable to me as are you.
: '''Rex:''' Like the new look- strapping.
: '''Quarry:''' Let's just say I had to find a way to &quot;keep it together&quot; after my visit to Abyuss. Just one more thing you owe me for and you know how much I like a balanced book.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' You'll be the crown jewel of my E.V.O. army, Rex. I may just make you my own personal slave.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' That collar suits you, Rex. Wish I had one for you back in the old days. Would've saved me a lot of trouble.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' The arcade- all those kids.
: '''Quarry:''' those brats were born to play games, which is what they think their doing. And I have your people to thank for the tech. That brother of yours is quite the wiz kid.
: '''Rex:''' Caesar would never...
: '''Cricket:''' Forget about Caesar, Rex! You know what you got to do!
: '''Rex:''' These guys will shred you if I leave!
: '''Tuck:''' We got this, Rex! Go!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' Consider the fact that you made me like this while I'm crushing you.

===A Brief History of Time===
: '''Van Kleiss:''' 4.000 years from my destination, and I've run out of of time. I've scarcely completed the vessel which shall deliver me to my own era. Gharun-Set, activate the traps-- Quickly! My greatest creation-- So useful to me, but too dangerous to roam free. If only I had time to destroy him, as I should. But I have a more pressing death I must prevent. My own. AAAAAAAAAAAH!
: '''Rex:''' Kind of defeating the whole stealth element of a stealth suit, Bobo.
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, now was I supposed to know that ghanoush went bad?
: '''Rex:''' Maybe because you found it in a garbage can.
: '''Bobo:''' On top of a garbage can.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Holiday to Rex. Are you at the site?
: '''Rex:''' There is not site, remember? Black Knight blew the pace to kingdom come.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Yet it's still guarded. And thanks to the data you stole from Providence, we know why.
: '''Rex:''' Van Kleiss back in time? I still find it hard to believe.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You were sent six months into the future, Rex. It stands to reason that the reverse is possible.
: '''Rex:''' Well, if you expect to find him here, maybe we should check the mummy museum. We're sensing nanites-- Definitely V.K.'s. They've been dead a long time.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Over 4,000 years. I'm also detecting tachyons-- Quantum particles that travel in time. I think it's clear what he was making.
: '''Bobo:''' A latrine?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' A time machine.
: '''Rex:''' No way he pulled it off! If mister ego made it back to here and now, we'd know about it.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Some of these nanites are considerably younger. That means he was there in two different time periods.
: '''Rex:''' Time travel gives me a headache. Just tell me-- Where is he now?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' The more accurate question is, when is he?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' AAAAAAH!
: ''[Van Kleiss gasping]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh! The ordeal is... draining. But now, back in my own time, I can replenish my nanite reserves and--
: '''Gladiator #1:''' Quis es tu?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I recognize the language, of course-- Classical latin. Qui-- Q-Qui annus est?
: '''Gladiator #1:''' What year is it? You dare question a captain of the imperial guard? Aegyptus is a roman Providence! Answer! Who are you?
: '''Gladiator #2:''' Don't bother-- He's clearly sun-mad.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' The dialect, the dress-- This is the second century A.D. A mere 2,000 years has passed. I'm only halfway home!
: '''Gladiator #1:''' Another escaped slave. Finish him and be done with it.
: ''[Gladiator #2 grunts]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It was all the fight I could muster. I had no way to replace the nanites I'd spent in the journey, and my gauntlet had yet to recharge those that remained.
: '''Gladiator #2:''' This one shows spirit. He'll bring a good price in the arena.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' OOMPH!
: ''[Van Kleiss groans]''
: '''Gladiator #2:''' Save your strength.
: '''Gladiator #3:''' Where you're going, you'll need it.
: ''[Van Kleiss slurps]''
: ''[Van Kleiss gulps]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I intend to. Of the mysterious force, there is no sign. Yet I sense it is close-- Pursuing me even across the centuries. I am convinced it is a manifestation of time itself. My presence is a violation of physics-- An imbalance which the time stream seeks to correct... By wiping me from existence. But of this, I am certain-- If I do not return to my own time, it will surely destroy me.
: '''Gladiator #1:''' You are fortunate, slave. To die in the arena is a great honor.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' An honor I look forward to bestowing.
: ''[Gladiator #1 laughs]''
: '''Gladiator #1:''' You see? Spirit!
: ''[Van Kleiss groans]''
: '''Gladiator #3:''' Put on a good show, little man, and I promise to make your end a painless one.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Indeed?
: ''[Gladiator #3 grunts]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I, on the other hand, make no such promise.
: ''[Gladiator #3 grunting]''
: ''[Van Kleiss grunting]''
: '''Gladiator #3:''' AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
: ''[Gladiator #3 groans]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' One against so many? Hardly seems fair. For them.
: '''Gladiator #4:''' ARRRGHHHH!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ordinarily, I'd say &quot;take me to your leader,&quot; but I believe he's already here.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Great warrior... Never have I seen such a battle. I am...
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Septimius Severus, 21st emperor of Rome, founder of the severan dynasty. And, as I recall, you poisoned your own commanding officer to get his position... And wear only boots to conceal a prodigious clubfoot.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Are you a man... Or a God?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I find both labels rather limiting. Now, then, you are going to give me whatever I require, starting with a quiet place to work. I, in return, shall ensure the growth and security of your reign as emperor. You may call me Van Kleiss.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Whatever your desire, great Vanklios.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Actually, it's... Got a rather nice ring.
: '''Rex:''' What's with this guy? Gets a portrait done in every time period?
: '''Bobo:''' Mm. ''[muffled]'' Truly a nutjob for the ages. Mm. Speaking of nuts... Want some?
: '''Rex:''' You've been dumpster-diving again?
: '''Bobo:''' I prefer &quot;foraging.&quot;
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. Nice sleuthing there, doc.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Nanites decay at a measurable half-life. I set our sat-net to do a global scan for the same frequency-- Ergo, Rome.
: '''Rex:''' Great. You scan for the next stop, we'll grab a pizza.
: '''Bobo:''' Pass. I'm experiencing inexpicable gastric distress.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, it would take months to scan the entire spectrum. You need to find the next decay frequency.
: '''Rex:''' Kind of like nanite connect-the-dots! Can I do it with someone else?
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, quiet, you! Rah!
: '''Rex:''' This goose chase just got a little wilder. My brother's here.
: '''Caesar:''' Caesar to Black. We've detected paleo-nanites. Tachyon readings negative. We're moving to the next hot stop.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Tachyons-- They want Van Kleiss' time machine. Follow them.
: '''Rex:''' Come on.
: '''Bobo:''' Can you give me a teeny sec? I gotta find the little gladiators' room.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Advances in the last two millenia have allowed me to complete my lab in weeks instead of months. Restrict the flow! Do you want to overload the power cells? Meanwhile, my own nanite supply continues to dwindle.
: ''[Septimius Severus panting]''
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Great Vanklios, protect me!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I've divulged metallurgy and tactics beyond your day. No man may threaten your rule. : '''Septimius Severus:''' This is no man... But an apparition!
: ''[Septimius Severus grunts]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' What apparition? Speak, parasite!
: '''Septimius Severus:''' A spirit of doom! Numerous sightings-- The insulare, the rostra, the forum. Listen! It comes! It comes!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Fool. It only wants me.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Ugh!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I release you. Go start a few legends.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
: ''[Septimius Severus gasps]''
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Be gone! I beg of you! Aah!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, those stress lines-- It's the same pattern we saw in Egypt.
: '''Black Knight:''' Report.
: '''Caesar:''' These aqueducts are truly marvels of roman engineering.
: '''Black Knight:''' Have you picked up the next decay frequency?
: '''Caesar:''' Oh-- That. Yes. Uplinking to our global net. Odd. These tachyons seems unrelated to--
: '''Black Knight:''' We have the next target. Scandinavia. Move out. White Knight may have people on the trail. I expect you to do whatever it takes to procure the objective.
: '''Rex:''' Shh!
: '''Caesar:''' I've initiated the same steps as in Egypt! Come along.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, we need that decay frequency.
: '''Rex:''' Just one small problem, doc. This place... is toast.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex? Bobo? Respond!
: '''Rex:''' We're okay, doc. Not a mark on us.
: '''Bobo:''' Same can't be said for my stealth suit. Whoa!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: ''[Rex and Bobo gasps]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' So many lives... It's become a blur. I don't know who I am anymore. Only that I must sail onward, ever onwoard down the river of time. Never resting, always moving. Further draining my nanite reserves beyond my ability to replenish. And each re-emergence, I am pursued by the nameless force. I now know it's personal. I am a virus-- An infection of space-time. Call it what you like. This is time's antibody. Whether I can borne home or drowned in its currents, this is my final journey.
: '''Rex:''' Hurry! I'm not sure if we here followed.
: '''Bobo:''' I'm sure.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Don't shoot! It's me.
: '''Rex:''' Holiday? Shouldn't you be at the plant, connecting the dots?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' No more dots to connect. The trail ends here. And... I'm reading a humanoid form inside.
: '''Rex:''' I'm confused. Is it a time machine or isn't it?
: '''Caesar:''' It's not a time machine. Are those really necessary?
: '''Rex:''' No way you're getting this time machine, bro!
: '''Caesar:''' I don't want it. And it's not a time machine.
: '''Bobo:''' Well, then, what is it? A meat locker for cold cuts?
: '''Caesar:''' Surprisingly close. We use this technique to transfer unstable nanites. It puts them into a state of dormancy.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Of course. It's a hibernation chamber.
: '''Caesar:''' Only his nanites were dormant. There would still be neuron flow.
: '''Rex:''' Mind telling me what that means, exactly?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' He was... Aware. The whole time, for hundreds of years.
: '''Caesar:''' He would have felt every minute pass.
: '''Rex:''' No way! He's totally a mummy!
: '''Rex and Bobo:''' Wah!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Run! It's coming! It's coming?!
: '''Rex and Bobo:''' Wah!
: '''Rex:''' Easy, easy, Van Kleiss. You're back-- Back in your own time.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' No! No, it'll find me! It always does! You must protect me.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Tachyon readings off the chart! Rex, you can't affect that thing. I don't know what can.
: '''Caesar:''' It's a field of pure tachyons. I've got to get a sample.
: '''Rex:''' Oh, no, you don't!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I'm back! Back in my own time! You shall not have me?! OHHHH!
: '''Bobo:''' Settle down, Van Winkle.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex shudders]''
: '''Rex:''' Oh, no. It couldn't be. I need some way to contain it!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Tachyons can't be contained!
: '''Caesar:''' Yes, they can. Rex!
: ''[Caesar grunts]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, it's too risky!
: '''Rex:''' But I know what this is. Correction-- I know who this is.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex:''' Aah!
: ''[Rex groaning]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' It's... Breach.
: '''Rex:''' Breach. Breach! It's me-- Rex.
: '''Breach:''' Rex? Are you real... Or a dream?
: ''[Rex laughs]''
: '''Rex:''' Yeah, yeah, I'm-- I'm real.
: '''Breach:''' I was everywhere-- Everywhen. But I was nothing-- An emptiness, needing to be filled.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' The amp pack. Van Kleiss controlled it. When his nanites were active, Breach was drawn into his timeframe.
: ''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
: '''Caesar:''' The final joining would have destroyed them both.
: '''Breach:''' Guess I should say thanks.
: '''Rex:''' Hey, what are friends for? Um, we are still friends... Right?
: '''Caesar:''' You did well, little bro.
: '''Rex:''' And you have your time machine that... isn't a time machine. Everybody goes home happy.
: '''Caesar:''' That? A curiosity-- True. But it was never our goal.
: ''[Van Kleiss shivering]''
: ''[Van Kleiss chuckles]''
: '''Rex:''' Van Kleiss?! All this for him? what, they're gonna put him in jail?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' It's Providence, Rex. That's their jurisdiction.
: '''Caesar:''' No need to worry, little brother. He's going to be well supervised.
: '''Rex:''' Caesar, what is going on!?
: '''Caesar:''' Justice.
: '''Bobo:''' Two words-- Crème Brûlée. Ooh. Right after I make a french connection.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Welcome back, Van Kleiss. You look terrible. Ordinarily, I'd say get some rest, but you've had enough of that, I suppose.
: ''[Van Kleiss chuckles]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Pull it together. We have work to do. Do you know who I am?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Yes. I know who you are. It's been a long time. A very, very long time.

===Mind Games===
: '''Rex''': Yeah, I wouldn't be so sure of that.
: '''Six''': I told you not to get involved, Rex. You're not at full strength.
: '''Rex''': What was I supposed to do... Just leave it?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Six has a point, Rex. You're pushed to the edge lately. You can't see everyone.
: '''Rex''': Not listening! Don't worry, dude. I'll have you out of here before you can say... Circe?!
: '''Circe''': Hey, Rex. Rex! Aaaah!
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Rex! Rex, do you read? What's going on? Your bios are low.
: '''Rex''': Leave her alone! You okay? 
: '''Circe''': I think so. We have to go.
: '''Rex''': Think that's your cue. Hang on. I think I got it. Ow! Hate this things.
: '''Circe''': Try wearing one.
: '''Rex''': I have. So, what happened? I thought providence had you at abysus.
: '''Circe''': I got away.
: '''Rex''': What about the pack?
: '''Circe''': The pack? I... don't know. Things are bad out there, Rex. I've been on the run for weeks. providence has been stepping up their capture orders. I think something big is going down.
: '''Rex''': Tell me about it. Listen, I know we're gonna want to say no, but with everything that's going on...
: '''Circe''': I should stay at the plant. It's safer, right?
: '''Rex''': Wow, that was... easy. I had a whole speech and everything.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Well, everything checks out. You're the picture of health. I wish you'd let me do some more thorough scans, through.
: '''Six''': How was it you said you got away?
: '''Circe''': It's a long story. You guys have bigger things to worry about than me... like the meta-nanites. Did you get the one from abysus? Have you found anymore?
: '''Rex''': Ugh, who cares? Let's go do something fun. You want to put Bobo' hand in shaving cream?
: '''Circe''': ''[Yawns]'' Actually, Rex, I'm kind of tired. I thing I might just crash if that's cool.
: '''Rex''': Oh... yeah. Stupid of me. You, uh, get some sleep. Hey, Doc. What are you doing?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Rex. I was just... working. What are you doing up?
: '''Rex''': Ah, it's... stupid.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Yeah, probably. But... go ahead.
: '''Rex''': I'm... excited. Since I got breached, everything's been so crazy.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Since you got breached? Right.
: '''Rex''': But with Circe back, I'm starting to think maybe things will turn out okay.
: '''White Knight''': I need everyone in the situation room in five minutes.
: '''Rex''': So much for that.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': ''[Yawns]'' What'd I miss?
: '''Rex''': Wow, Doc. You sure got comfy quick.
: '''White Knight''': Listen up, people. We need to retrieve a valuable asset before it falls into enemy hands.
: '''Six''': What's the objective?
: '''White Knight''': This man... Dr. Peter Meechum.
: '''Rex''': That guy? I remember him. Van crazy kiddnaped his daughter.
: '''White Knight''': Meechum spent the last year at a safehouse facility... Codename: Pandora's Box... location know only to me.
: '''Rex''': Why all the cloak and dagger?
: '''White Knight''': Because Meechum was one of the original scientists on the nanite project. He was given a panic button in case of emergency. 30 minutes ago... he activated it.
: '''Six''': providence?
: '''White Knight''': We have to assume they're trying to assemble the original members of the nanite project. What Meechum knows is too valuable to fall into the wrong hands, so go get him.
: '''Six''': Maybe Circe should stay here.
: '''Rex''': What? Why?
: '''Six''': She's not on the team yet... not officialy.
: '''White Knight''': Take her. She'll be useful in the field.
: '''Rex''': Ahem. You guys forget you key? Did you check under the mat?
: '''Six''': Rex, focus on the mission. Get to Meechum!
: '''Rex''': Relax, Six. I could take these guys in my sleep, especially with help from... Huh? Circe? Uh... Time-out?
: '''Six''': Peter Meechum, you need to come with us.
: '''Dl. Meechum''': ''[Scoffs]'' Took you long enough.
: '''Rex''': Time in.
: '''White Knight''': Still no sign of Circe, Rex. We'll keep looking, but for right now, Meechum is our top priority.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': We'll find her, Rex. Don't worry.
: '''White Knight''': In the meantime, Dr. Meechum, I've checked, and your daughter is safe at her boarding school in England.
: '''Dl. Meechum''': My daughter. Right.
: '''White Knight''': We can make immediate arrangements to take you to her.
: '''Dl. Meechum''': No, I'd rather stay with you if that's all right. It's, uh... It's safer.
: '''White Knight''': Of course. White Knight out.
: '''Rex''': So, after that, providence attacked abysus to get the master control nanite. Guess you were next on their list.
: '''Dl. Meechum''': I see. And all this happened in the last year?
: '''Six''': You've missed a lot since you've been away, doctor.
: '''Dl. Meechum''': Horrible. I could never work for a providence like that. I have to say it's all very impressive. providence has certainly done a lot in the last year.
: '''Caesar''': And with your help, doctor, we can do more.
: '''Dl. Meechum''': Where's White Knight? I should tell him I've arrived.
: '''Black Knight''': I can answer that for you. It's good to have you back, doctor.
: '''Dl. Meechum''': What happened to White?
: '''Black Knight''': Just a routine change in command. Nothing to worry about. If you'll excuse me, gentlemen.
: '''Dl. Meechum''': Tell me you have my money ready.
: '''Black Knight''': You get away you want when I get what I want... Not before.
: '''Dl. Meechum''': Relax.
: '''Six''': I'm a professional, aren't I?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Six, see Meechum? I have some data I'd like to go over with him. Are you... okay?
: '''Six''': Rebecca, I have something important to tell you.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Okay. Well... Thanks for tell me.
: '''Six''': Rex, are you in here? I do not understand this show.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Am I interrupting?
: '''Six''': Not at all. What can I do for you?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Nothing important. I just wanted to say... earlier... that was nice. Unexpected but nice. 
: '''Six''': Earlier?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': In the lab?
: '''Six''': I have no idea what you're talking about.
: ''[Dr. Holiday scoffs]''
: '''Rex''': Six, I need to talk to you about Circe. Uh... Six? Earth to agent guy. You okay?
: '''Six''': I'm fine. I've just decided not to waste any more time on you, Rex.
: '''Rex''': Um... Is this because I accidentaly used your swords to slice a pizza?
: '''Six''': It's because you're weak. You don't have what it takes to complete the mission.
: '''Rex''': Ohh, I get it. This is one of your test, right?
: '''Six''': No test. Just me coming to my senses. You're not strong enough to survive what's coming. In the end, you're gonna let us all down.
: ''[Dr. Holiday crying]''
: '''Rex''': Doc? What's wrong?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': I-It's nothing, Rex. I didn't want you to see me like this.
: '''Rex''': Well, what is it?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': ''[Sobbing]'' It's Six. I'm afraid of him.
: '''Rex''': What?! That's crazy talk.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Is it? You have to have seen it. He's violent, on edge. He's losing control.
: '''Rex''': Are we talking about the same Six?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': We don't even known him. He was a killer, Rex. The old Six might have changed, but how do we know this Six didn't come back... Wrong?
: '''Dr. Meechum''': ''[Whistling]'' I have a question. How do you plan to re-create the project without a bio-interface expert?
: '''Caesar''': Oh, but we do have one.
: '''Van Kleiss''': No! The string doesn't work. Gordian knot, tied up tight. Alexander cheated. Can't cheat. Eyes on your own paper! Peter? No! Can't be! Different time, different me.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Van Kleiss? You brought back that monster?
: '''Caesar''': Of course. He was the original interface programmer. Who better?
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Excuse me a moment. White, what the heck is going on?!
: '''White Knight''': Peter? Where are you?
: '''Dr. Meechum''': I'm at providence. Where are you?
: '''White Knight''': Providence. But that's not... I have to go. We have a problem.
: '''Rex''': You're darn right we have a problem, because this isn't Peter Meechum!
: ''[Dr. Meechum laughing maniacally]''
: '''Scarecrow''': Heya, Rex. Miss me?
: '''Rex''': Who are you? Where's Meechum?
: '''White Knight''': His name's John Scarecrow. He's an EVO, specialist in infiltration. Black Knight played us.
: '''Scarecrow''': You really don't remember me, Rex? I'll give you a hint. We used to share a stomping ground. We had a problem with a shapes hifter once.
: '''Rex''': You were in Hong Kong.
: '''Scarecrow''': Give the man a prize.
: ''[Scarecrow laughs]''
: '''Six''': I think he went that way.
: '''Rex''': Wait a minute.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: ''[Scarecrow laughs]''
: '''Rex''': I cannot believe I fell for that.
: '''Scarecrow''': Look at you. You're ridiculous. You think he'll come to his senses, realize his true feelings? Then what? You'll settle down. White picket fence. Little agent kids. You're fooling yourself. You're the worst of them... you know that?...  Because you know better. You really think you can save the world? None of you can survive what's coming!
: '''Rex''': Prove it's really you. What's my favorite color?
: '''Six''': I have no idea.
: '''Rex''': It's you, all right.
: ''[Dr. Holiday screaming]''
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Put it away. I'm not the EVO.
: '''Six''': We heard you scream.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': That wasn't me.
: '''Six''': Let's all calm down. We can figure this out.
: '''Rex''': Why, Six? Because I'm weak? You don't think I can handle this?
: '''Six''': I never said that.
: '''Rex''': But you think it, right? I don't see you putting down your guns, doc.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': I know it's not me. I'm not sure about you two.
: ''[Scarecrow laughs]''
: '''Scarecrow''': So easy. I barely had to nudge you.
: '''Rex''': Whatever you're after, you're not getting away with it.
: '''Scarecrow''': Get away with it?! Re-e-e-x, I got what I needed in the first five minutes.
: '''Rex''': Then why? Why do all this?
: '''Scarecrow''': Simple. I wanted to do to you what you did to me.
: '''Rex''': I'm done with you!
: ''[Scarecrow groans]''
: '''Scarecrow''': The big hero. Why do you get to forget? It's not fair!
: '''Rex''': Whine, whine, whine. What... you didn't get enough crazy hugs as a kid?
: '''Scarecrow''': You think I'm the only one you hurt? Then tell me...
: '''Sqwydd''': What about us? Why'd you betray me? 
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Scarecrow:''' ''[as Circe]'' You promised to protect me, Rex! Where were you?
: '''Rex:''' Stop it!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: ''[Rex breathing heavily]''
: '''Caesar''': Face it, bro. It's why I left you. Mom and dad, too.
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex''': You are your own worst enemy.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': That's for Rex. That's for providence. And that was for the kiss.
: '''White Knight''': Providence won this round. No question.
: '''Rex''': They have the real Meechum. Maybe more.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': There's no telling how much of our system Scarecrow uploaded.
: '''Six''': But we have to assume they know everything we do.
: ''[Scarecrow laughs evilly]''
: '''White Knight''': Black Knight is coming for us. It's just a matter of time.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': So? I mean, we knew that. Nothing's changed, right?
: '''Six''': Rex, this is what they wanted... to turn us against each other.
: '''Rex''': Yeah, and look how easy it was. We thought we were a team, but we're not. We're vulnerable.
: '''Van Kleiss''': It's Heisenberg's uncertainty principle. Looking past Occam's Razor, we can clearly see to a quantum level. A quantum level is what I'm trying to achieve, because if I didn't do the quantum level, then I can understand what's happening.
: '''Caesar''': I know you don't like this, but it's not about us.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Can you do it? Can you control him?
: '''Caesar''': Leave Van Kleiss to me.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': What about Black Knight? I don't like her, Salazar. Never did.
: '''Caesar''': Trust me, Peter... When we're finished, the end will justify the means.

===Hermanos===
:'''Rex Salazar''': WH-O-O-O-OA! Unh! Ugh!
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Agent Six''': Be careful, Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm touched by your concern, Six.
:'''Agent Six''': It's not for you. We don't have Providence to pick up the tab anymore. You break it, you buy it.
:''[Rex growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm saving the day here. What are they gonna do--Sue me? Oh, come on! It was a rhetorical question! What was I supposed to do? The whole building was made of glass!
:'''Lawyer''': ''[Hispanic accent]'' Glass? What are you talking about?
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm... not talking about anything. What are you talking about?
:'''Lawyer''': Mr. Salazar, I'm an associate at the stateside branch of the Argentinean firm Gomez and Gomez. And today, sir, is your lucky day!
:'''Rex Salazar''': What's this?
:'''Lawyer''': It's yours!
:'''Noah Nixon''': No away! This is your house?
:'''Rex Salazar''': I know! According to the lawyer guy, this rancho in Argentina's been in my family forever. And ever since my parents died in the event, those lawyers have been trying to track down the heir. And guess who that is.
:'''Noah Nixon''': You and your brother?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, yeah, right. Him too.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Not a good time, Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Dude, it's never a good time, but you go to-- O...kay, so maybe this really isn't a good time, but this is important. I was being chased by a lawyer. No, I wasn't being sued this time. But you'll never guess what he--
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Is this about the rancho?
:'''Rex Salazar''': You know about it?
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Those lawyers have left me a dozen messages.
:'''Rex Salazar''': And you didn't tell me? Caesar, I never even knew we had this place! There might be photo albums, home movies-- I don't know-- maybe even an old teddy bear or something.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': You never had a teddy bear.
:'''Rex Salazar''': See, the fact that you know that and I don't-- that's why we need to go down there.
:'''Lawyer''': Clear!
:'''Caesar Salazar''': I can't, Rex. My work's already been interrupted once today. Although... Now that you mention the ranch, it does bring back some memories.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Really? Like what?
:'''Caesar Salazar''': There was an experiment I remember mom and dad running. If you could find the notes, it might save some time on the work I'm doing now.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Notes? Come on. Isn't family more important than-- Guess not.
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Why can't I have a normal brother? Know anything about cows? Thanks for coming with me. This is really a family thing, but my brother is, well-- My brother. 
:'''Noah Nixon''': Are you kidding? I'm psyched! I've been killing myself trying to find a birthday present for Claire. A vacation at my best friend's awesome ancestral estate? What other guy could offer her that?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, but then why bring Annie?
:'''Annie''': Um, this just kind of broke off.
:''[Annie, Claire and Noah screaming]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': AAAAAAH!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': I sure hope this isn't included in Six's &quot;You break it, you buy it&quot; policy.
:'''Annie''': Sorry.
:'''Rex Salazar''': No problem. We're here.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Are... you sure this is the place?
:'''Noah Nixon''': What happened to it?
:'''Annie''': Hey, don't look at me. I just got there.
:''[Annie gasps]''
:'''Annie''': Okay, that was me.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I guess this must be my... family.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Looks like you-- But with a 'stache.
:'''Annie''': I like you with a 'stache.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Hey, there are chickens in here!
:'''Annie''': And llamas!
:'''Noah Nixon''': Chicken, llamas-- And a funny-looking bull.
:''[Chiquito snorts]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': I-I-I take it back! You're not funny-looking!
:'''Chiquito''': This place is Durango's!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, actually--
:'''Chuquito''': No fancy talk! Just go!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Ugh! Okay, number one, how is &quot;actually&quot; fancy talk! Number two, I don't know who Durango is, but this farm isn't his. And number three--
:''[Chiquito grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Ugh! Ugh! All right, there's no misunderstanding the international language of getting punched in the face. So read my fist-- Get out of my house!
:'''Chiquito''': Durango will not be happy!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, don't know who that guy was, but problem solved.
:'''Noah Nixon''': Uh, you think? Aah!
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Senior Durango''': Calmate, Chiquito. You are my brother. I would not do anything to hurt mi hermano. Unless you force me to. I cannot lose that tract of land. Without its right of way, I will lose my claim on the rest of the county. But never mind. They will learn-- When you mess with the bull, you get the horns.
:'''Rex Salazar''': OHHH! Ugh!
:'''Noah Nixon''': A chicken just tried to poop on my shoe!
:'''Rex Salazar''': I think I can top you there.
:'''Noah Nixon''': No offense, but when I asked Claire to come here, this wasn't what I was hoping for.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, me either. I mean, I was thinking I'd find-- I don't know what. But everything in this place has been smashed or stolen. Maybe this whole family thing isn't for me.
:''[Noah gasps]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': That's the one!
:'''Claire Bowman''': Please, Noah. It just needed a little help laying an egg.
:'''Rex Salazar''': ''[Chuckling]'' What, did you grow up on a farm in Kansas?
:'''Claire Bowman''': An apartment in Chicago-- Which is where I learned to download videos onto my phone.
:'''Telephone Voice''': When caring for an egg bearing hen, remember to--
:'''Muchado''': Hola? Quien esta aquí?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Uh... hello?
:'''Muchado''': So, you are the Americans? I am Señor Muchado-- The juez.
:'''Claire Bowman''': That's like a judge?
:'''Muchado''': Sí. For all intents and purposes, I am the law in this county-- Which is why I have come here with him.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Good, because I definitely want to press charges.
:'''Muchado''': You misunderstand. I am here because of the trouble you caused for Chiquito.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Chiquito?
:''[Rex chuckles]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Your mom must have some sense of humor to name you &quot;Tiny&quot;.
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:'''Muchado''': Chiquito's brother is Señor Durango. He controls most of the land in this county, including this hacienda. At Señor Durango's request, I have prepared a legal order compelling you to vacate.
:'''Claire Bowman''': But this is Rex's farm.
:'''Annie''': Yeah, he's got a deed and everything.
:'''Muchado''': This might have some bearing-- If you were a Salazar.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, we're in luck. I am.
:'''Annie''': Maybe this will help.
:'''Muchado''': You may be a Salazar, but by our law, this land has been deemed abandoned, and Señor Durango has claimed it.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Sorry. Been sort of busy saving the world and stuff. But I'm here now, so consider his claim unclaimed, then reclaimed by me.
:'''Muchado''': It is not so simple. You would have to demonstrate you are actively maintaining the ranch. That means shearing and feeding the animals, bringing your bulls to market--
:'''Rex Salazar''': To market? What, like a... cattle drive?
:'''Claire Bowman''': No problem. We can totally figure out how to do that.
:'''Muchado''': A ranch this size requires at least a dozen hired men.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, just... uh...
:'''Muchado''': No one within 100 kilometers will help you cross Señor Durango. If you do this, you will do it alone. And you will fail.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Well, that guy was kind of a jerk.
:'''Annie''': Yeah. So, let's get to work.
:'''Noah Nixon''': How? Everything here is broken.
:'''Annie''': Uh, have you seen my house?
:'''Rex Salazar''': You guys don't have to do this.
:'''Claire Bowman''': What kind of friend would walk away now?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Uh... yeah! No way you could stop me from helping take care of these totally not-gross animals. 
:'''Rex Salazar''': Really?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Well, I'm smiling like that's what I mean, aren't?
:''[Noah exhales deeply]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': I can do this! I can't do this. Until I've done my milking warm-up.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Ugh. Hold this.
:'''Telephone Voice''': With you head resting on her flank, gently grasp the udder with the palm of your hand.
:'''Noah Nixon''': AAH!
:''[Claire giggles]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': I think she likes you.
:'''Noah Nixon''': Ugh!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': This is your home. Get in your home!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Whoa! AAAH! AAH! Ugh! This is hopeless! This farm only has one bull, and I can't even get it into the barn. And this... better just be mud.
:'''Annie''': Hang on! I'll help you!
:''[Annie gasps]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': No! Don't!
:'''Noah Nixon''': Are you guys okay?
:'''Claire Bowman''': What is it? A storm cellar?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Looks like some kind of lab.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Figures. My mom and dad were Caesar's parents, too. Of course they'd find a way to take work home with them. Probably where those notes Caesar wanted are. Might as well grab them before the judge kicks us out.
:'''Claire Bowman''': What's he talking about? I think we're doing a pretty good job taking care of the--
:'''Annie''': Uh, guys--
:''[Claire grunts]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': Wait-- Donkeys eat hay, don't they? Maybe we can use it to lure them back into the barn.
:'''Annie''': I got it! Ugh!
:''[Annie gasps]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': Well, on the plus side, at least we now know for sure that donkeys do eat hay.
:'''Rafael Salazar''': One day, these things are going to change the world, and you'll be there to see it.
:'''Violetta Salazar''': ''[chuckling]'' Caesar, please, mi hijo. Stop working for a minute and hold the camera.
:'''Young Caesar Salazar''': Okay! Okay!
:''[Claire sniffs]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': What's that smell?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Which one? Everything here smells.
:'''Claire Bowman''': No, it smells like... smoke!
:'''Annie''': Rex! The straw caught on fire, and it exploded!
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:'''Chiquito''': Hermano! No! Oomph!
:'''Senior Durango''': What were you thinking? I told you to smoke them out, not burn the land! This is my land! If you weren't my brother--
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:'''Senior Durango''': But you are. Come here.
:'''Rex Salazar''': So, you must be the brother. Hope I'm not interrupting some kind of weird tender moment.
:'''Senior Durango''': Soy Durango. And I hope there is still a chance we can reach a resonable agreement.
:'''Claire Bowman''': So, then you'll let Rex keep the farm? We played by the rules.
:'''Senior Durango''': Around here, I make the rules.
:'''Annie''': But the judge said--
:'''Senior Durango''': The judge works for me. Now, please, I'm giving you one last chance to leave.
:'''Noah Nixon''': Okay, sure! Oh, wait-- That's right. Your fire blew up what was left of our plane!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Uh, let me handle the trash-talking with the 20-foot-tall monster EVO, okay? Leave them out of this! They shouldn't even be here! It should have been my brother!
:'''Senior Durango''':  That is why you will lose your farm. Without family, a man is nothing. After all, what is this land to them?
:'''Rex Salazar''': I don't even know what this place is to me. I came here hoping to find out more about who my family is.
:''[Rex start looking at Noah, Claire and Annie, and smile to them]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': And I did. So, you're going to stop threatening them-- And me-- And get off my land.
:''[Durango snarls]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay. Here's the plan-- Stay behind me! Whoa! Ugh!
:'''Noah Nixon''': Well, there goes that plan.
:'''Senior Durango''': Hurt them. You can do that, can't you?
:'''Claire Bowman''': W-what do we do now?!
:'''Annie''': The only one of us with powers just got kicked to the curb.
:'''Noah Nixon''': That depends on what you mean by &quot;powers&quot;.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex muffled grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Not a good time, Caesar.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': I just wanted to tell you-- Forget about those notes. I realized that's not what's important about you going down there.
:''[Durango snarls]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Wow, Caesar. I can't believe you came around.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': I just realized-- The really important thing is, if you happen to find a termo-chronometer I remember having down there, it would save me from ordering one.
:''[Chiquito snarls]''
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:''[Chiquito snarls, roars]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': Ugh!
:''[Chiquito snorts]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:[''On videotape of the Salazar family]''
:'''Rafael Salazar''': One day these things are going to change the world and you'll be there to see it.
:'''Violetta Salazar''': Cesar, please miquito. Stop working for a minute and hold the camera.
:'''Young Caesar Salazar''': Okay, okay.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Noah Nixon''': This morning, I almost had to touch a cow's underparts. You think you can do me worse than that? Bring it.
:''[Chiquito snarls]''
:''[Chiquito roars]''
:'''Annie''': Ugh! I didn't mean for that to happen.
:'''Claire Bowman''': We did.
:'''Rex Salazar''': AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Ugh! AAAAAAAAAAARGH!
:'''Senior Durango''': OOMPH!
:''[Durango lows]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': WH-O-O-O-O-O-O O-OA!
:''[Durango lows]''
:''[Durango snorts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': AAAAAAAAH!
:''[Durango growls]''
:''[Durango growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Trust me-- My brother's let me down way worse. But what am I gonna do? He's my brother.
:'''Senior Durango''': It is over.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Nice ego there, but I've been hit a lot harder.
:''[Durango spits]''
:'''Senior Durango''': Those bells signal the market is ending soon. I can see you have yet to herd you cattle there.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, come on! The one cattle I've got doesn't even move!
:'''Senior Durango''': If you do not have your cattle to market before it ends, you will have failed to fulfill your deed, and this land will be mine.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Then I guess I don't have any time to waste talking about it.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Come on. Come here.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Forget it. I got this.
:'''Claire Bowman''': WHOO-HOO! Yes! Go, Rex!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': Where's Durango?
:'''Rex Salazar''': OWW! Come on! You don't move the whole time, and you can't stay still?
:''[Durango grunting]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': What is this, a western? You're actually trying to stop him with a rockslide?
:'''Senior Durango''': You? Here? How is that even possible?
:'''Telephone Voice''': Donkeys can be ridden surprinsingly fast if you--
:'''Noah Nixon''': Come on! Just give up! The farm belong to Rex. And I really want to get off this thing.
:'''Senior Durango''': You think I'm afraid of you ''[scoffs]'' boy?
:'''Claire Bowman''': Oh, it's not the boy you should be afraid of.
:'''Annie''': Oops.
:''[Durango grunting]''
:'''Senior Durango''': Ugh!
:''[Rex panting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': We sheared the llamas, we milked the cows, I got the bull to town. We did everything in the deed.
:'''Muchado''': Sí, sí. But more important, you faced Durango and won! Once the other ranchers hear of this, they won't be afraid. You have broken Durango's hold on our lands.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Wait-- You're... happy about that?
:'''Muchado''': Of course. I told you exactly what you had to do to legally gain control of the land, didn't I?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Huh. I guess you did.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Wow! Can you believe how you perfect this all worked out?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Yeah, uh, so, maybe we should get out of here before we wear out our welcome.
:'''Rex Salazar''': There's just one thing I want to do first.

===The Rescue===
:''Note'': Rex goes alone to rescue his girlfriend Circe from the clutches of Black Knight. but it turns out she has been waiting for him.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Alone Together===
:''Note'': Finally together at last, Rex and Circe reminiscence about their good and hard times together ans their romance begins to grow.
===Retribution===
===Temporary Insanity===

===Crime and Punishment===
:''Note:'' His false insanity revealed, Van Kleiss abducts Circe with the intent of punishing her for betraying him, due to her enduring love for Rex.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, Circe, you shall learn the ultimate price of betraying me.
:'''Rex:''' ''Leave her alone!!''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, Rex. For young love. One of your greatest weaknesses. After I finish off your beloved, you will no longer be a hindrance to me. 
:'''Rex''' (''enraged'')''':''' I ''said''...LEAVE HER ALONE!!!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Shadowed Past===

===Separation Anxiety===
===Brotherly Love===

===Rocky My World===
:'''Beverly:''' Oh, this is so awesome! We're seeing the Trendbenders live!
:'''Rex:''' Well, maybe not see them, but we'll totally hear them.
:'''Sebastian''': Attention! The Trendbenders will be arriving through the back of the club.
:'''Beverly:''' Slick trick! Yes, Rebecca. I know! Only drink the bottled water. No, we're not that close to the stage. Ugh! I know that's where they mosh-pit. Don't worry! Bye!
:'''Rex:''' Your sister is acting like your mother. I wouldn't put up with it. Doc?! I'm right next to her! Yes, we've got earplugs. Only bottled water-- I know! Yes, you'll pick us up at 11:00. Okay! Bye!
:'''Sly:''' ''[singing]'' I met a guy who has looking for a lucky break. I met a guy mad he wouldn't make a mistake. No loser here the weight would be upon his face. This ain't no lucky break it's just another day.
:'''Beverly:''' Hey!
:'''Rex:''' There's something wrong with that guy.
:'''Beverly:''' Yeah! It's called lack of social skills.
:'''Sebastian:''' We have to talk! You got to listen to me!
:'''Rex:''' I think they're a little too busy for a chat right now.
:'''Sebastian:''' It's me! Your first fan!
:'''Rex:''' Come on, dude. Can't you just watch the show, like everyone else?
:'''Sly:''' ''[singing]'' You won't bring me down. Yeah-yeah-yeah. You won't bring me down.
:'''Sebastian:''' I'm not just everyone else.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' You want to rethink trying to stop me?
:'''Beverly:''' Whoa! Geek in triplicate!
:'''Rex:''' More like EVO geek.
:'''Sebastian:''' I bet you're not even a real fan!
:'''Rex:''' Hey, I know their music!
:'''Sebastian:''' Yeah? What album is &quot;Bitten on the Wind&quot; from?
:'''Beverly:''' Uh, their first album.
:'''Sebastian:''' Wrong! Their third! Poser!
:'''Sly:''' Here's one from our first album-- &quot;Bitten on the Wind.&quot;
:'''Beverly:''' Told ya! Their first album! Who's the poser now?
:'''Sebastian:''' But it is their third. They keep denying their first two albums exist!
:'''Rex:''' Huh?
:''[Rex bones cracking]''
:'''Rex:''' Shouldn't you be home, making sure your mom isn't snooping around your basement? Ouch! All right, I've had enough.
:'''Sebastian:''' I know you. You're that guy from Providence that beats up on EVOs.
:'''Rex:''' And I'm guessing you're not one of my fans.
:'''Sebastian:''' This isn't over! They still need me to show them the way back. I'll make them listen to me.. No matter what! Ugh!
:'''Man:''' No re-entry without a hand stamp.
:'''Rex:''' Uh, but--
:'''JoJo:''' It's okay. He's with me. I'm JoJo, the band's manager.
:'''Beverly:''' Oh! Sly Tyler, vocals, six-stringer. Burrito Beau on the big bottom, and Leon Adler on the skins.
:'''Beau:''' Bass. Drums.
:'''Beverly:''' They're even cutter up close!
:'''JoJo:''' But Sebastian isn't. And now that fruitcake fan has become a major menace.
:'''Rex:''' You know who that guy is?
:'''Sly:''' Yeah, he's one of our first fans from way back.
:'''Leon:''' But he didn't like our change in music direction.
:'''Beau:''' Change, like in popular.
:'''Sly:''' So he started sending us nasty e-mails and slagging us on the fan sites.
:'''JoJo:''' But now he's turned violent, and it turns out he's... H-he's...
:'''Rex:''' An EVO that can multiply himself.
:'''JoJo:''' We can't handle that kind of threat, but you can.
:'''Beverly:''' Is this a job offer?
:'''JoJo:''' As head of security for the rest of the tour.
:'''Rex:''' Huh, I don't know. Putting up with groupies, great music, catering, the Rock'n'roll lifestyle-- Oh, right, like I'm not totally in for this!
:'''Beverly:''' And I'm your deputy, sheriff.
:'''Sly:''' Absolutely.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Absolutely not.
:'''Rex:''' They've got an EVO threat.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Fine, Rex. Beverly? And don't forget to use earplugs.
:'''Rex:''' Private jet to the next gig? Airline-- First class? Coach?
:'''JoJo:''' Of the road kind.
:'''Rex:''' Traveling the open road, bringing music to the people. Where to next?
:'''Beau:''' Eugene, Oregon. ''[Unenthusiastically]'' WHOO-HOO!
:'''Rex:''' Ow!
:'''Leon:''' Bad seat. Got a lot of them.
:''[Beau farts]''
:''[Rex sniffs]''
:'''Leon and Rex:''' Oh!
:''[Leon coughs]''
:'''Leon:''' Isn't the ozone layer depleted enough, Beau?
:'''Rex:''' Want to hit the streets and check out the local scene?
:'''Sly:''' Seriously, man? It's just another town.
:'''Beau:''' Been there. Seen them all.
:'''TV Announcer:''' He's currently under 3, 2 behind the leader. This is a very tricky--
:'''Rex:''' Oh, let's throw this in the pool!
:'''Leon:''' Hey, I'm watching something, dude!
:'''Rex:''' How about a food fight?
:'''Sly:''' Sorry, man. Not feeling it.
:'''Rex:''' This isn't feeling very Rock'n'Roll.
:'''JoJo:''' Rex, we hired you to consult on security, not rock-tour clichés.
:'''Sebastian:''' Room service.
:'''JoJo:''' Again? You guys, this is costing too much.
:'''Sly:''' But we didn't order anything else.
:'''Sebastian:''' That's okay. This is on the house!
:''[Sebastian grunts]''
:''[JoJo gasps]''
:'''Rex:''' Look out! He's got... Paperwork?
:'''Sebastian:''' I've got notes and visuals on where you've gone commercial and how you can get back to your roots! He's with the band now? He's not even a real fan! You see? You've got to come with me. You need my help!
:'''Rex:''' They're not going anywhere, but you are!
:'''Sebastian:''' My copies don't feel pain.
:'''Rex:''' But you do!
:'''Girl:''' Whoa! You must really be a big fan!
:'''Sebastian:''' Only of their early stuff.
:'''Girl:''' Eww! Their early stuff is weak.
:'''Teen girl:''' But their new songs are awesome!
:''[Girls giggling]''
:''[Sebastian growls]''
:''[Girls screaming]''
:'''Rex:''' Excuse me. I'm with the band.
:'''Teen girl:''' But you missed your ride.
:'''Rex:''' That's okay. I've got my own.
:'''Man:''' Rock bands! Never again!
:'''Sebastian:''' I've got to take you away from this sellout existence, where you deny your first two albums even exist.
:'''Sly:''' B-but those albums weren't any good. That's why we only had a few fans, like you.
:'''Rex:''' If there's only three of them, then who's driving the car?
:'''Sebastian:''' Aah!
:'''Rex:''' Did he... Ah! Rent that car from the circus? Time to cut this act short.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' Oh, man. I went to my first Trendbenders show in that car.
:'''Rex:''' Maybe I can't turn off your obsession, but I can shut down your nanites.
:'''Beau:''' That clone-boy?
:'''Rex:''' I don't think he's going to be a problem now.
:'''JoJo:''' We can still use you on the tour. What did you say?
:'''Rex:''' Yes!
:'''Sly:''' Good man! ''[singing]'' You see the light, and it's oh, so bright, a million times more than before, now we'll show you the door, some starts fade, and some starts shine, the bright ones stand the test of time, the others burn out and sing, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, kill your radio, you live a life for all to see, sometimes it's right, sometimes obscene, now you're the enemy, it's one for all and all for me, unlocking doors and misery, the others burn out and sing, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, out of time, kill your radio, out of time, kill your radio, out of time, kill your radio, it isn't all, that it's cracked up to be, I never thought it'd be so easy, I wouldn't have it any other way, you see the light, and it's oh, so bright, a million times more than before, now we'll show you the door, some starts fade, and some starts shine, the bright ones stand the test of time, the others burn out and sing, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, &quot;yeah&quot;.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Sly:''' At least we got a day off before the next gig.
:'''JoJo:''' Guys, a club owner in fleeceburg just offered us amazing money. I booked it.
:'''Rex:''' For when?
:'''JoJo:''' We're already running late.
:'''Sly:''' They're paying money for us to play in this dump?
:'''JoJo:''' Big money. Come on. You're on in ten minutes.
:'''Rex:''' I'm guessing ticket sales are a little slow.
:'''Leon:''' Are we breaking up?
:'''Beau:''' This dive seems awfully familiar.
:'''Sebastian:''' It should.
:'''Rex:''' That voice seems awfully familiar!
:'''Teens:''' Dude! Nobody move! What's going on? Who's touching me? What is this? Excuse me. What is going on?
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' I built an exact replica of the first club you played in.
:'''Beau:''' Hey, that's one of my puke stains. Fruitcake knows his details.
:'''Rex:''' But I cured you.
:'''Sebastian:''' Hmm... That was a copy, not the original.
:'''Sly:''' Whatever. When's this gonna end, fan-boy?
:'''Sebastian:''' It ends tonight. Check the floor at your feet.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' I've given up trying to get you back to your roots. So now you'll play what I want to hear for the next hour. And then your career ends with a bang. :'''Sly:''' On behalf of the band, I'd like to thank our manager, JoJo, for booking this totally insane gig!
:''[JoJo laughs nervously]''
:'''Sebastian:''' The sound of cold, hard cash is the only music sellouts like you listen to anymore.
:'''Rex:''' They're not sellouts. They just got more popular than you wanted.
:'''Sebastian:''' You try anything, and I'll end their last gig prematurely. You're only alive because I want you to see what the Trendbenders used to be like. For the next hour give me the early stuff, when you were cool.
:'''Sly:''' Why bother? You're gonna nuke us, anyway.
:'''Sebastian:''' Because if you don't play, this happens!
:'''Sly:''' Aah!
:'''Leon, Sly and Beau:''' No more!
:'''Sly:''' Okay, dude, what's the first number?
:'''Sebastian:''' &quot;Crawling undertow&quot;!
:'''Sly:''' Well, how does it feel?
:'''Sebastian:''' First album, seventh song. Fifth song on the Japanese import.
:'''Sly:''' To get that weight back on our shoulders--
:'''Sebastian:''' You're giving it a beat that wasn't in the original, man! Not even in the remix from the box set. Play it right this time! I'm missing the concert because of you!
:'''Rex:''' Stinks to be you. Got to cure the real Sebastian. But which one is the mother ship?
:'''Sebastian:''' You can't even play your old songs like you used to. Total disappointment. Let's end this bummer concert.
:'''Sly:''' But we still have over a half-hour left!
:'''Sebastian:''' Last song, no encore.
:'''Rex:''' Tell me who's the original, or I'll turn you into dessert topping!
:'''Sebastian:''' You don't scare me. I don't feel pain.
:'''Rex:''' But the real Sebastian does. Sly! Maximum feedback! Now! Thanks, Doc.
:'''Sebastian''': AAAHHHH!
:'''Rex:''' How do you like their new hit, Sebastian Prime? Here's another new groove you're not going to like.
:'''Sebastian:''' Aah!
:'''Rex:''' Congrats. You're back to being a solo act.
:'''Sebastian:''' You've got to listen to me!
:''[Sebastian yelling]''
:'''Rex:''' Kidnapping, assault and battery, construction without a permit-- that should keep him away for years.
:'''JoJo:''' Have to say it, guys, but we've got a gig in toledo to get to. Security?
:'''Rex:''' Not anymore. Sebastian's done, and so am I.
:'''Sly:''' Dude, I thought you wanted the rock'n'roll lifestyle.
:'''Rex:''' I'm not tough enough for it. I need to get back to something easier, like city-smashing EVOs and conspiracies to take over the world.
:'''Beau:''' Don't know what your missing.
:'''Rex:''' I think do. But I don't miss this. Yes, doc? Don't need my earplugs anymore. I quit. Will you let me tell you? No, the EVO threat wasn't just an excuse. Well, I'm coming back! Will you let-- Doc!

===Lost and Found===

===My Brother's Keeper===

===Target: the Consortium===
: '''Jungle Cat:''' You are...?
: '''Rex:''' Rex. Rex Salazar. What are you?
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Lost... and found.
: '''Rex:''' HUNH! AAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
: ''[Rex gasps deeply]''
: '''Rex:''' Whoa. That was a total zero on the fun meter.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Learning how to communicate with the nanite world isn't about fun. Did you get anywhere at all?
: '''Rex:''' Don't know. I connected with a Master Control Nanite for a second, and then I lost it. But I also got, like, this feeling that something's about to happen in the nanite world. Something... big.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Argh! This is Rylander's speciality, not mine. There's no way I can cover for him.
: '''Caesar:''' Not to worry, Dr. Meechum. You won't have to any longer. Dr. Rylander will take over from here.
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Oh, really, Caesar? From his current location of beyond the grave?
: '''Rylander:''' Actually, Peter, I was never completely dead-- just spread a little thin-- ''[chuckling]'' Moleculary speaking. Caesar's been working on putting me back together.
: '''Black Knight:''' All of them together-- At last. Contact the Consortium. We now have something to show them. Something big.
: '''White Knight:''' Even having two of the Master Control Nanites doesn't change the vital importance of finding the other three. But the latest intel I've received could give us a way to neutralize the group obsessed with these machines.
: '''Six:''' The Consortium.
: '''Rex:''' Aren't those the money guys that bankrolled the Nanite Project in Providence?
: '''White Knight:''' The same. Formerly made-up of six members, but now five-- Reddick, made his wealth in real estate and construction. Vostock, black market finance and KGB... Zanubian, arms dealing and shipping. Roswell, oil and minerals. Anthony Haden-Scott, worldwide media.
: ''[Rex munches]''
: '''Rex:''' Should we be writing this down for the pop quiz later?
: '''White Knight:''' You may be facing them soon because of the efforts of our stealthiest agent.
: '''Rex:''' Mm! Thank you! I think.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' He's not talking about you.
: '''Rex:''' Hey! It's Evo-cat guy! Uh... sorry-- What's your name? O...kay, cat with no collar, what's in the sack? Bunch of canaries? Well, that's... something.
: '''White Knight:''' Our associate has been tracking the Consortium with a little help from a former member.
: '''Rex:''' I remember him! He's the one Rylander got revenge on with an EVO love letter.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' That he never recovered from. But he's still full of useful knowledge about the other members.
: '''Rex:''' As long as you have a towel handy for the answers.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' The Consortium has financed a new facility for nanite research. All of them will be at that location within the next six hours.
: '''Six:''' And so will we.
: '''White Knight:''' A rare opportunity like this can't be missed. You three will capture the Consortium and bring them to a secure location. Understood?
: '''Rex:''' Purrfectly.
: '''Black Knight:''' Gentlemen, I wanted you here today to--
: '''Reddick:''' &quot;Wanted?&quot; Sounds like a command.
: '''Vostok:''' ''[Russian accent]'' You get to ask, not order.
: '''Black Knight:''' I'm sorry. Let me restate. I asked you here because I can now present some major developments in your quest. I finished construction on the nanite reactor and reassembled against all odds the original science team to run it. Doctors Meechum, systems expert. Salazar, artificial intelligence. Rylander, microengineering. And Van Kleiss, biomechanical integration.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Nanite's recorder locked in. Hologram Rylander saves money on meals. Glow, glow, glow, yipper.
: ''[Van Kleiss smooches]''
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' A human flashlight and a brain-fried babbler. This is what I'm supposed to work with.
: '''Vostok:''' Looks like your geniuses have some issues.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' ''[British accent]'' I seem to recall there were two other Salazars on the team.
: '''Black Knight:''' They're dead-- And just as well. Considering their actions are responsible for our setbacks, I highly doubt they would have cooperated.
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Black Pawns:''' Ohh!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Black Pawns got to talk to their costume designer. Way too stuffy.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Be quiet.
: '''Six:''' Our target?
: '''Roswell:''' ''[Southern accent]'' Little lady, I'm hoping you didn't get me out here just to watch some lab jockeys do their homework.
: '''Vostok:''' I know I've got better things to do.
: '''Black Knight:''' Aside from the all-important reassembly of the science team and activation of the nanite reactor, I do have another development to show you.
: '''Roswell:''' Yeah? What else you got?
: '''Black Knight:''' An acquisition.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Lost... and found.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' What's wrong with you?
: '''Rex:''' Forget the Consortium! I know where we can find a Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Six:''' Where?
: '''Rex''': Here.
: '''Six:''' We're doing both. You two get the nanite, I'll get the Consortium.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' On of the five? That's all?
: '''Reddick:''' You know we need all of the Master-Control Nanites to do us any good.
: '''Vostok:''' What about the two you lost? And the other two still out there?
: '''Black Knight:''' We'll have the other four in due time. Take this back to the vault. But remember that each one has its own useful powers. : '''Roswell:''' Not enough to drag me all the way out there, little lady.
: '''Black Knight:''' &quot;Black Knight&quot;.
: '''Black Pawns:''' You're not one of us.
: '''Six:''' Stay clear of the Pawns. They're not buying our cover. Repeat-- Stay clear of the Pawns.
: '''Rex:''' Steel door. A vault!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' That was close.
: '''Rex:''' Got it. Have to be as stealthy as you from now on.
: ''[Jungle Catsnarls]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarling]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Van Kleiss!
: ''[Jungle Cat muffled grunting]''
: '''Rex:''' Way not to be stealthy. Sorry, cat guy. I know you want payback for him turning you into stone and all, but the nanite is more important.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Security alert. Intruder.
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' You find the nanite. I'll be a diversion.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' She has shown us some progress. That one nanite is significant in itself.
: '''Reddick:''' It's all five or nothing. Or are you thinking of working a separate deal with the one?
: '''Vostok:''' Can we please not talk like this while those two are in the room?
: '''Roswell:''' Yeah, Xanubian, put a sock in all your yammerin'.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Another intruder at security zone three. It's Agent Six.
: '''Rex:''' Gotcha.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Unh! Aah!
: '''Rex:''' I'll take that. Six! I've got the nanite!
: '''Six:''' Meet your outside.
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Rex:''' I've got it! Let's scat, cat!
: '''Black Knight:''' If he's here-- So is Rex. Vault security, come in.
: '''Reddick:''' Is there a problem?
: '''Black Knight:''' A minor security issue. I'm taking care of it.
: '''Vostok:''' ''[Russian accent]'' You better, little lady.
: '''Rex:''' Well, mission half accomplished.
: '''Six:''' This should complete it.
: '''Rex:''' You planted a bomb?!
: '''Six:''' Plan &quot;B&quot;.
: '''Rex:''' The cat! He's still inside! No!! We've got to go back for the cat! He's on his own mission. Van Kleiss is there.
: '''Six:''' Understood.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Black Knight, shouldn't we evacuate?
: '''Black Knight:''' The security threat has been removed. Among other things. Track them, find them.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Interlace template, instal copper buffers, hold the mayo, set core temp, heat cold fries.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Remember me?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Someone let the cat in.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' You cast me aside as if I was garbage. Turned me to stone. Drained me of life-- Almost. Now it's your turn to suffer.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Had a kitty once. Not you. Bubbles liked catnip and parsnips. Chapped lips. Hip, hip, hooray!
: ''[Jungle Cat growls]''
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' If you're here to clean up, ask for directions, not Dr. Screwloose.
: '''Rex:''' Ugh! Meechum. Bro. He's here to put Van Kleiss out of the world's misery. Give me a reason why he shouldn't.
: ''[Jungle Cat growls]''
: '''Rylander:''' Because the world needs him right now, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' Dr. Rylander! How did you--
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' You got it to work.
: '''Rylander:''' I've looked better, I'll admit, but I'm still very much alive. And so happy to see you again.
: '''Rex:''' If you could bring him back--
: '''Caesar:''' Sorry, Rex. It won't work for mom and dad.
: '''Rex:''' So, you've come back-- But you're working for them! It seems crazy, I know, but look at our progress-- The nanite reactor is almost operational.
: '''Rex:''' Not if I destroy it.
: '''Black Knight:''' Surround them.
: '''Caesar:''' Trust me, hermano, We're doing the right thing.
: '''Rex:''' You keep saying that, but I don't believe it anymore!
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Bubbles, I'm sorry. Here, kitty, kitty. Left you out in the rain, rain go away--
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarling]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh! Easy on the hot sauce, Peter, Peter pumpkin two seater.
: '''Rylander:''' Tell him, Caesar.
: '''Rex:''' Tell me what?
: '''Six:''' Revenge time is up.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: ''[Jungle Cat roars]''
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Aah! Careful! Our work! Ugh! Take it outside!
: '''Rex:''' Ugh!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Rex. Rex Salazar.
: '''Rex:''' I can't talk now! Ugh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Thank you.
: '''Rex:''' You're so not welcome.
: '''Black Knight:''' You should have left when you had the chance.
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' You guys have such a great cafeteria.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Had to come back for more.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Aah! Unh!
: '''Six:''' Unh!
: ''[Black Knight grunting]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Unh!
: '''Six:''' UNNNNNNNNH!
: '''Black Knight:''' Ugh!
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Rex:''' Let's say adiós.
: '''Six:''' There's still plan &quot;B&quot;.
: '''Rex:''' We're not assassins.
: '''Six:''' You're not. This might be our one chance.
: '''Rex:''' To be like them? Then what makes us different?
: '''Six:''' Go. I'm right behind you.
: '''Roswell:''' You brought us into an ambush! Right behind you, Mr. Chatterbox.
: '''Vostok:''' You are cowards.
: '''Reddick:''' Graveyards are full of dummies that thought they were though.
: '''Vostok:''' Black Knight, we have a lot to discuss about your future.
: '''Black Knight:''' By all means, let's talk.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Where's Six?
: '''Rex:''' He said he was right behind us.
: '''Six:''' I am. The Consortium still has to be dealt with.
: '''Rex:''' We now have three Master Control Nanites. I'd say the Consortium has to deal with us.
: '''Six:''' Understood.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Purrfectly.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' I'm shocked. What happened?
: '''Black Knight:''' It seems Vostok had an unfortunate run-in with our intruders as he was leaving. But, there's good news. The reactor is gone. Soon we will have all the nanites we need.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' &quot;We&quot;?
: '''Black Knight:''' I think it's time we walked about my promotion.

===Convergence===
===Enter the Nanite World===

===Enemies Mine===
: '''Valve:''' Battle is to be waged between your courage and my power. You lose.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Valve, my friend. Lovely day for a riot, don't you think?
: '''Valve:''' What do you want, Gatlocke?
: '''Gatlocke:''' I want lots of things-- A doomsday weapon, my own private island, for my mom to stop calling me to fix her computer. But what I really want is to give you a message. It's time. I suppose I'll make the introductions.
: '''Valve:''' A biker needs no introduction. And everyone knows Hunter Cain.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Everything is going according to plan. We get one more thing. Then we get wrecked.
: '''Rex:''' Sorry we're late.
: '''Bobo:''' We're not late. We're fashionably early.
: '''Providence Agent:''' I was starting to think I was on my own. I've been calling for help, but  Providence hasn't answered.
: '''Six:''' What set this off?
: '''Providence Agent:''' No idea. One moment everything was fine. The next moment, complete chaos.
: '''Rex:''' I'm heading in. I'll lock up when I'm done. Oh, don't bother getting up. I'm just gonna knock you back down again.
: '''Bobo:''' Back in your cages, you filthy animals!
: '''Rex:''' Huh? What? You? It's a who's-who of old EVOs. Whew! Really not in the mood for this. You're kidding me. You?!
: '''Gatlocke:''' Three men, one objective, no rules. Oh, this is exciting, isn't it? Or is it just me?
: '''Valve:''' The others are saying that Rex is here. Rex will get his when we're ready.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Watch yourselves. This one's unpredictable. We know what you want, No-Face. Then we can give it to you. Do what we say. Then you'll get Rex. You'll get the chance to tear Rex apart. Piece by piece. Now we're ready.
: '''Rex:''' So you remember who I am. Surprised you have a big enough brain for that. These cells are pretty dull. Let's redecorate. No way I'm letting an EVO get won over on me. Especially a big old frog.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Almost out. Freedom is just a... Bottomless ravine away.
: '''Valve:''' The biker begs the question, how are we getting across?
: '''Gatlocke:''' You know that's not really how begging the question is supposed to be used. Are we kidding? Anyone who gets worked up over that phrase needs to be savagely beaten.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' This'll override the drawbridge system.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Ooh, now how would someone like you procure something like that?
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Friends and hide places.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, frog legs. Let's put you in solitary confinement.
: '''Bobo:''' Do you look like you got run over by an overstuffed garbage truck?
: '''Rex:''' Feels like it. This is a prison riot. Where's Providence? They should be all over this.
: '''Six:''' They never responded to any calls.
: '''Rex:''' It's a setup. Providence wanted this to happen. But why?
: '''Six:''' Six here. Go ahead.
: '''Rex:''' Wait. This bridge wasn't down before.
: '''Bobo:''' Yeah. About that. Some of the prisoners escaped together. Gatlocke...
: '''Rex:''' That's bad.
: '''Bobo:''' Hunter Cain...
: '''Rex:''' That's even worse!
: '''Bobo:''' Valve.
: '''Rex:''' That's... Really? Valve?
: '''Bobo:''' Yeah. And No-Face.
: '''Rex:''' Those four are loose? Together?
: '''Six:''' We've got a bigger problem.
: '''Rex:''' How can it be bigger than this?
: '''Six:''' The EVOs in the city-- The only thing keeping them tame are their control collars.
: '''Rex:''' And this is a problem because...?
: '''Six:''' Because someone has shut them all down.
: '''Rex:''' Let me get that for you.
: '''Bobo:''' Dumpster dog. Considering you used to ride around in the Paris, I guess you're moving up in the world. Main to your mud.
: '''Six:''' Are you injured?
: '''Rex:''' Just worn out. Is this day over yet?
: '''Bobo:''' Oh! Signs pointing no.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? That came from the track. Can you handle things here?
: '''Bobo:''' Only one way to find out. Valve. Those nanite superchargers you keep using are bad for your health.
: '''Valve:''' If I were you, I'd be more concerned with your own short-term health.
: '''Rex:''' Please, like I have anything to worry about from you. The other three, they're dangerous. You, you're just comedy relief.
: '''Valve:''' I am not. Comedy relief.
: '''Rex:''' Well, you're not funny, that's for sure.
: '''Valve:''' Like the road that continues on, so must the biker.
: '''Rex:''' Where did he go so? Ew! Get away from my tacos, cockroach! Huh? You running away? I'll give you this much, Valve. Maybe you're getting smarter.
: '''No-Face:''' Unlike you.
: '''Rex:''' I put you away once, No-Face. I'll do it again.
: '''No-Face:''' The one who makes machines. The one we've been waiting for.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Figures you try to shoot a guy in the back.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' All I see is a filthy EVO.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, first off, that Lai is tired. Second off, last time I checked, you're teaming up with one. Would that make you an EVO lover? All this hide and seek is wearing me down! Huh? Figures.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Leaving so soon? That's not going to impress the hiring committee. Now, let's see what we have here. &quot;Honor roll, A/V Club.&quot; Ugh. &quot;Glee Club.&quot; ''[Scoffs]'' I'm going to have to be brutally honest with you. You're perfect for my gang. Can you sing soprano? My last soprano drove his motorcycle off a cliff. He survived, but his voice was never the same. By the way, can you fly? This is quite the surprise. I'm willing to hire you, Rex, but you better have some excellent references.
: '''Rex:''' Back to prison, Gatlocke!
: '''Gatlocke:''' Then consider the offer rescinded! You could be a valued member of my gang. It's a tough job market out there, you know?
: '''Rex:''' I'd never work for you!
: '''Gatlocke:''' No, not with that attitude, you wouldn't. Welcome to my gang. Your first task is to destroy Rex-- That guy right there.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Gatlocke:''' Your second task is to complete harassment training. I teach the class. This pamphlet explains everything.
: '''Rex:''' No, no, no!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, come in. What's happening?
: '''Rex:''' One really bad day.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Your nanite readings are off the charts.
: '''Rex:''' No surprise. I've been fighting and curing EVOs non stop.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' We need to upload your nanites immediately.
: '''Rex:'''  Now? Doc, my four worst enemies are still on the loose. Well, my three worst enemies in Valve. Plus the city's in chaos. And where in the world is Providence? How come they're not here dealing with this?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Six and Bobo can mop up the last few EVOs. You have to offload.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, fine. But we better make it fast.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You'll be locked in the chamber for one hour.
: '''Rex:''' Just do it, Doc.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' This could be a long sixty minutes.
: '''Valve:''' According to the tracking bug, Rex is inside.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Gentlemen, this is what we've been waiting for. It's time for Rex to die.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' They followed him.
: '''Gatlocke:''' After we kill Rex. We should work together and form a team call ourselves... Gatlocke and the kitty cats.
: '''Valve:''' Silence your mouth or the biker will silence it for you.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Oh, Valve. You can pretend to be angry, but deep down, you know you're a kitty cat.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' They know we're here.
: '''Gatlocke:''' You're quite feisty. Have you ever considered a career in the fast growing field of post apocalyptic gangs?
: '''Valve:''' She has spirit. Valve the biker will see that spirit crushed.
: '''Gatlocke:''' You're Gatlocke's favorite kitty cat. Hmm. Rrr.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Don't follow her. She's trying to lead us away from Rex. Rex is close-by.
: '''Valve:''' Rex's chamber... Five minutes to spare.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' More than enough time.
: '''Gatlocke:''' I could have sworn that we'd agreed to take Rex out together.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' I'm changing the terms of the deal if you have a problem with that, feel free to stand right where you are. I've waited a long time for this. Rex!
: '''Valve:''' Empty? Or a trick of the mind?
: '''Rex:''' Isn't that obvious? Then again, that tracking bug you stuck on me was obvious, too. And the fake countdown? Obvious. It only took me thirty minutes to upload my nanites. You wanted to run me ragged so you could get me. Instead, here you are all in one place. Gotcha!
: '''Valve:''' UGHH!
: '''Rex:''' UGHHHH! I still don't get why you enlisted Valve. I mean, he's really a third-string bad guy.
: '''Valve:''' Valve is the biker. A biker is dangerous.
: '''Rex:''' Hmm. Yeah. No.
: '''Valve:''' Rrrr!
: '''Rex:''' So unpredictable. Like a third-string bad guy.
: '''Valve:''' AAAAH!
: '''Gatlocke:''' I have a horrible sneaking suspicion that he's winning.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Then do something about it!
: '''Gatlocke:''' Don't have to yell. A kind word will get you much further.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Gatlocke:''' UGHHH! Oh! Oh! Oh ho ho! Ouch! My back! My front and my back! OHH! This is total, total agony!
: ''[Gatlocke gasps]''
: '''Gatlocke:''' ''[Calmly]'' I'm okay. Really. I'm fine.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' You're lucky. I'll give you that. But you're only delaying the inevitable. You can't beat us all!
: '''Rex:''' I never intended to. This offload facility? I reprogrammed it. My surplus nanites aren't being stored. They're powering the shield.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' It's a trap!
: '''Rex:''' Have fun keeping each other company!
: '''Bobo:''' What a day.
: '''Rex:''' You know, none of this would have happened if Providence hadn't released the convicts and turned out all those EVOs.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' They did that to keep you busy.
: '''Rex:''' Keep me busy from what?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' The Nanite Project. We just found out. While we dealt with the EVOs, Black Knight got her hands on another Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Rex:''' Then it's time.

===Sinister Secrets===
===Wounded Hearts===
===One Step Ahead===
===Breaking Point===
===Behind Closed Doors===

===Keeping Hope===
===Trust===

===Terror of the Black Knight===

===Endgame, Part One===
: '''Rex:''' It was going to happen sooner or later. We had most of the pieces, so it was only a matter of time before the Black Knight made her move. And of all the chances she had to attack, it had to be tonight... at this very moment... while I was in the shower. Huh? How many?
: '''Six:''' Should it matter?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Can't you do any better than that?
: '''Bobo:''' I thought you'd never ask.
: '''Rex:''' Rah! Yah!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' If they get to the Meta-Nanites, we still have options.
: '''Rex:''' Of the self-destruct kind? No, thanks, Doc. It's not going to end that way... hopefully.
: '''Black Knight:''' We'll dispense with the pleasantries. You know what we want.
: '''Rex:''' There is no way you're walking out of here with the nanites.
: '''Black Knight:''' You seem so certain.
: '''Rex:''' We've beaten you before. Every single time, in fact. So, this time is different... How? Okay, that's different. Ugh! You're an EVO?!
: '''Black Knight:''' Do you think you were the only one they experimented on back in the day? You were the guinea pig. Consider me the new-and-improved version.
: '''Rex:''' Okay. Before we go any further, I should probably explain a few things. It started when a bunch of rich guys decided they wanted to live forever, so they got the best scientists in the world to figure out how. The answer was nanites. These microscopic machines would cure disease, end hunger, and pretty much make the world a better place. My parents and older brother were on the team, and so was this guy. Look familiar? Van Kleiss. Then one day there was an accident. To save my life, my parents injected me with nanites. It worked. But there were a few crazy side effects, like the fact I could talk to machines and, later on, build some pretty cool things. That got the rich guys thinking-- How far could we take this? Turns out pretty far. These little machines could control the very fabric of the Universe, but they would need a Master Control Nanite to program all the others and tell them what to do. Energy, gravity, time/space, elemental, mechanical-- All the things that make the Universe run. Combined together, they would pretty much make you a God. And when my brother and parents found out the Consortium was about to put these nanites inside themselves, they sort of freaked out in a &quot;got to save the Earth&quot; kind of way. Something had to be done to stop it. Turns out that meant blowing the whole thing up, better known as &quot;The Nanite Event&quot;. That didn't end well for my parents. While everyone else ran away, my parents were trapped inside. Sill not sure how. There was some good news-- No more Master Control Nanites. And the bad news? Dangerous unprogrammed nanites got spread across the world, and nanites plus DNA equals EVO. My brother Caesar got caught in a time warp during his escape. Van Kleiss got blown to smithereens and became the world's biggest pain in the nanite. And me? I got amnesia and traveled the globe living the good life... At least, that's how I tell it. The only part I know of wasn't all that much to brag about. I did get some good friends and a few enemies out of the deal. Turns out that losing my memory was a regular thing for me. Last time I woke up and said, &quot;Who Am I?&quot; It was when this guy found me-- Agent Six. He worked for Providence, sort of a global police force created to clean up after the event. It was paid for mostly by the same group of goons that started the whole thing-- The Consortium. It was great for a while. I had my own personal doctor, a chimp sidekick, a cool best friend to hang with. I was a full-fledged hero. The world loved me, and my powers kept getting better and better. Van Kleiss was still a pain, but I managed to take care of him. A few times, actually. Then things started to get not so cool. My brother shows up from out of nowhere. I get thrown six months into the future to find White Knight kicked out of Providence and this lady in charge-- Black Knight. She's been the lapdog of the Consortium from day one, and now her bosses want to pick up where they left off. Most of the old team of scientists have been reunited, and together, they've restarted the nanite program. The Master Control Nanites were spread across the globe in the first explosion, and we've been racing against Providence to get them back. So far, we've been winning that fight, and that pretty much brings us to right now.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' The Black Pawns are robots?!
: '''Black Knight:''' Total obedience at the flip of a switch. Can you blame me?
: '''Black Pawn:''' What's so funny?
: '''Six:''' I hold back against people. You're not people.
: ''[Bobo Haha grunts]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Ugh!
: '''Feakins:''' Hey! Hey! Take it easy, would you? Oh!
: '''Rex:''' Fitzy?!
: '''Feakins:''' Heh? Sorry, guy. They found me. She's hard to say &quot;No&quot; to... and live.
: '''Black Knight:''' Well put, Mr. Feakins. And thanks to his unique ability, we can set aside our nanite enhancements and do this the old-fashioned way.
: '''Rex:''' Come on. That's not fair. I'm unarmed!
: '''Black Knight:''' Precisely.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Stop! Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad idea.
: '''Rex:''' Listen to the crazy guy.
: '''Black Knight:''' Why are you here, Van Kleiss?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I forgot. Oh, no, wait. I remember. He's got a Master Control Nanite swallowed up inside him. It's been hiding, the naughty thing.
: '''Rex:''' On second thought, don't listen to him. He's, uh-- He's crazy, remember?
: '''Black Knight:''' You're sure of this?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, yes, yes. Quite sure. Do you have any mints?
: '''Black Knight:''' I want Rex at the lab. Restrain and sedate him.
: '''Rex:''' How, hold on a minute.
: '''Feakins:''' Hey! What about me?
: '''Black Knight:''' I'm not taking any chances. He stays with Rex. Kill the others.
: '''Rex:''' Ugh! Ahh.
: '''Master-Control Nanite:''' Human.
: '''Rex:''' What are you telling me? What do you want?
: '''Master-Control Nanite:''' Complete. Complete. Complete. Complete. Complete.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, I get it. How?
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Caesar:''' Calm down, Rex. You're safe.
: '''Rex:''' Safe?! Black Knight and her robo-troopers just came knocking, and Van crazy says I have a Master Control Nanite inside me!
: '''Caesar:''' Fascinating, isn't it? All this time, it's been hiding undetected inside you. I wonder if this particular control unit is responsible for his unique nano-evolution.
: '''Rex:''' Are any of you even listening to me?
: '''Feakins:''' Boy, I am. It's like a movie but real! I just want to go start pressing buttons. Can I get another milkshake?
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' How exactly do you plan on getting it out of him?
: '''Black Knight:''' I have a suggestion. Tear it out.
: '''Rylander:''' It would kill him.
: '''Black Knight:''' That's none of my concern.
: '''Caesar:''' The nanite is tied to his DNA. Simply pulling it out of him would ruin the nanite.
: '''Rex:''' And me, too, remember?
: '''Caesar:''' The only way this will work is if we put him in the cyclotron with the other Metas. It should extract automatically during the reassembly.
: '''Black Knight:''' And if it doesn't?
: '''Caesar:''' Hmm. Good question.
: '''Rex:''' Here's another one-- Don't I get a say in this? Like, isn't this the exact thing that our parents died trying to stop?
: '''Black Knight:''' Take him to the hub and prepare for the transfer. The Consortium is here and extremely impatient. I want this finished within the hour.
: '''Feakins:''' Aah! Hey, what am I-- Sandpaper? Not so rough! ''[sputtering]'' Rough.
: '''Rex:''' Glad someone can see the humor in this.
: '''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, see that Rex is well taken care of.
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' I hope you know what you're doing, Salazar. This is a huge risk we're taking.
: '''Rylander:''' Listen to Peter. The thing we swore to stop at any cost, the thing that took your parents-- It could happen-- Right here, today.
: '''Caesar:''' It can't, and it won't. You'll have to trust me on this.
: '''Rylander:''' You can only say that so many times, Caesar.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' We've been waiting almost an hour. Not even refreshments?
: '''Black Knight:''' You can have your snack after we become Gods.
: '''Roswell:''' &quot;We&quot;?
: '''Black Knight:''' That's right-- &quot;We.&quot; None of this would be possible without my efforts.
: '''Roswell:''' And our money, sister.
: '''Black Knight:''' By all means, have your contempt. There's plenty of room buried next to the Russian if you'd like to keep him company. That's what I thought. Now, if you'll follow me--
: '''Bobo:''' &quot;Kill the others.&quot; Not gonna happen, lady. We're bulletproof. Ow! Hangnail.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Ugh! We know where they took him. Why are we here? We need to go get Rex.
: '''Six:''' I agree. We just don't have the resources, Rebecca. We'd need an army.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You've been known to make the impossible happen, Six. How hard could that be?
: '''Six:''' Six here. Copy that. We just got ourselves an army.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You see?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' That will be all.
: '''Feakins:''' But the lady said-- Good luck, Kid.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' These restraints were made for you. You're very special, you know.
: '''Rex:''' Lucky me.
: '''Caesar:''' Van Kleiss... leave us.
: '''Rex:''' I really hate you.
: '''Caesar:'''I know how this looks, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' But what? I just have to trust you? Is that what you were going to say? Just help me-- Please.
: '''Caesar:''' It may not seem like it, but I am.
: '''Rex:''' Caesar... I'm scared.
: '''Caesar:''' So am I, little brother. This will all be over in a few minutes.
: '''Rex:''' It's already over! When I get out of this, I never want to see you again!
: '''Rylander:''' Commencing countdown.
: '''Roswell:''' WHOO-HOO!
: '''Reddick:''' Payback time!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Caesar:''' This won't be entirely unpleasant. It should feel similar to when you offload surplus nanites.
: '''Rex:''' Stop! You can't do this! You can't merge!
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Something's wrong.
: '''Rylander:''' Of course something's wrong. The kid is fighting it.
: '''Caesar:''' This could be bad.
: '''Rylander:''' You have to tell him, Caesar.
: '''Caesar:''' Rex, you have to stop. Listen to me. The nanites are supposed to do-- Rex? Can you hear me?
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Actually, he can't. There's a short in the comm relay.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' This would be a wonderful day for a picnic.
: '''Rex:''' RA-A-A-A-A-A-H!
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' Ugh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Ugh!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' So much for that plan.
: ''[Rex laughs]''
: '''Rex:''' Oh, serves you right. All that and you come out of the oven looking like freaks. Nice job!
: '''Black Knight:''' It's not exactly what we were expecting, but it's a start.
: '''Reddick:''' This isn't what we agreed to.
: '''Roswell:''' Where's the rest of our power? This is all messed up!
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' How can this be possible?
: '''Rylander:''' The Meta-Nanites were dispersed between the five. This is quite a surprise.
: '''Caesar:''' We've got to get Rex out of there. Step aside, Van Kleiss.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' They still don't have what they want... and neither do you.
: '''Black Knight:''' You're angry. I can see that. If you want to take it out on anyone, it should be Rex.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' I think I can agree to that.
: '''Roswell:''' Count me in! This might actually be fun!
: '''Rex:''' Let's think about this for a second. Whoa!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' How 'bout that? Exactly one second. Whoa! Aah!
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' What a perfect way to learn to use our powers-- Tearing this brat apart.
: '''Rex:''' Only one problem with that, sparky. I've been using my powers a whole lot longer-- And I'm pretty good.
: '''Roswell:''' You got any ideas here, missy, or we gonna stand around and get it handed to us?
: '''Black Knight:''' The Meta-Nanites were designed to work together. So will we.
: '''Rex:''' What? Are you gonna join together to make a robo-mutant?
: '''Black Knight:''' That's exactly what we're going to do.
: '''Rex:''' I need to stop giving them ideas. Huh?
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Black Knight:''' No one the help you-- No family, no friends, nothing. It's a terrible way to go.
: '''White Knight:''' Captain Calan, target the base. All weapons, sire.
: '''Providence Agent:''' Fire control reports they're being jammed, sir.
: '''White Knight:''' Only one salvo. Black Knight must have prepared for this.
: ''[Rex groans softly]''
: '''Rex:''' Big giant robot. Black Knight.
: '''Six:''' We know.
: '''Rex:''' Have to... stay and stop them.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Another time, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' I-I--
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Holiday to White Knight. We have Rex.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' We're just gonna watch them go?!
: '''Black Knight:''' Let Providence have their weapon back. With our combined power, the world is ours.

===Endgame, Part Two===
:'''Black Knight:''' Science has given us a tremendous gift-- Nanites. We've seen what they can do-- The good and the bad. But they're true potential has been largely unseen. Until now. Our goals are varied. Fame... power... revenge... wealth... order. Yet, one thing unites us-- Greed. You're surprised I admit it? Well, don't be. You'll never get far in life without wanting it all. And for those who might consider standing in our way... We'll let our powers speak for themselves. The world is ours. And no one can stop us.
:''[Roswell laughs]''
:'''Roswell:''' This is more fun than my first rodeo. What else you got?
:'''Six:''' Any change?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' He's sleeping. The nanites in him are making repairs. That's a good thing. He's a tough kid, Six.
:'''Six:''' I know.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' See you next time. Judging by what you fed us for lunch, I'm guessing twenty minutes. Can't even go to the little scientists' room without them breathing down our necks. How long are we going to put up with this?
:'''Caesar:''' I know it's not easy working under these circumstances.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Do you? I don't hear you complaining, or have you even noticed that we're prisoniers?
:'''Rylander:''' Gentlemen, please. Can we focus on a more important problem? The Consortium's gain of power is a troubling outcome. Something should be done.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' If you're talking about stopping them, I'm listening.
:'''Black Knight:''' I want you all in the boardroom in three minutes.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' The world is being taken over by nanite-fueled ex-c.e.o. Psychos, and they still act like they're running a business.
:'''Roswell:''' You nerds gave us a raw deal. I want a do-over.
:'''Caesar''': A do-over?
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' What my colleague means to say is that our powers are remarkable to be sure, but we only have one seventh of what we were promised.
:'''Rylander:''' You're asking a lot.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' You're asking the impossible. You'd be lucky to survive the extraction.
:'''Caesar:''' This is true. You may be powerful, but you're not Rex.
:'''Black Knight:''' I share your disappointment, gentlemen. But are you willing to lose everything for this?
:'''Roswell:''' Go big or go home.
:'''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, what do you have to say?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Easy-peasy. I can do it. It's only a matter of correctly calibrating the bio-filters with the homing frequency of the nanites. By the way, have you seen my socks?
:'''Caesar:''' Van Kleiss--
:'''Black Knight:''' Has an assignment. The rest of you... Stay out of trouble.
:'''Rex:''' You started without me.
:'''Six:''' Glad to see you up and around. Something bothering you?
:'''Rex:''' Besides black knight taking over the world? I'm trying to find my friends. I know Providence took them.
:'''Six:''' We're working on that.
:'''Rex:''' And are we doing anything about the Consortium? What about... The robot? The one I can build. Don't play dumb, Six.
:'''Six:''' Come with me.
:'''Rex:''' That's me? No way! All this time, I could have been making myself into that thing? Ohh! Maybe not.
:'''Six:''' Evidence suggest that you've never been able to control it. It's a weapon of last defense. This was filmed on the day that I found you. It was also the day I made a promise that it would be the last time you ever built this machine.
:''[Rex scoffs]''
:'''Rex:''' Or what, you'd kill me? You plan on keeping that promise?
:'''Six:''' Rex, you have to know something. We believe this is the type of thing that ends in you losing your memory.
:'''Rex:''' Well, it happened to you, and you turned out just fine.
:'''Six:''' I only lost six years. Six years is all you have. You would lose everything. I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but you need to think about the consequences of some of your options.
:'''Noah:''' It feels weird hanging out when the world is under attack. I don't know if I should be fighting back or out in the wilderness setting up a survival compound.
:'''Rex:''' If you had the power to stop all this, but it meant losing everything, would you do it, Noah?
:'''Noah:''' I don't know. I'm just glad I don't have to make that kind of decision. I guess that's why you're the hero.
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Rex:''' I wish I could get some kind of sign. Anything. Hmm.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Red and yellow, red and yellow. One false move can kill a fellow.
:''[Van Kleiss laughs]''
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' He's got local control. We're locked out. I still don't even know how this is possible.
:'''Rylander:''' I've been looking at the data projections. As crazy as Van Kleiss is, his theory is sound.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Sorry to disturb your sleepy sleep. There might be a slight delay.
:'''Black Knight:''' Why?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' We have a visitor. Should I set out tea?
:'''Rex:''' Hey, in there! Come on out!
:'''Black Knight:''' Back for more? Happy to accommodate.
:'''Rex:''' I should warn you. It's going to get ugly.
:'''Black Knight:''' One would think you would have learned the last time. I can feel you resisting me. Stop.
:'''Roswell:''' Why is it you get to call all the shots?
:'''Black Knight:''' Because I'm the one who has the power to join us. Help me defeat Rex, and you can call all the shots you like.
:'''Rex:''' Hyah!
:''[Rex babbling]''
:''[Rex gasps]''
:'''Six:''' It's a weapon of last defense. It's happened.
:'''Noah:''' That's Rex?
:'''White Knight:''' I'm going to assume you're seeing what I'm seeing.
:'''Six:''' White--
:'''White Knight:''' Before you say anything, Six-- Whatever agreement we may have had regarding this situation no longer applies. Am I clear?
:'''Six:''' Understood.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': What was that all about?
:'''Six:''' A second chance.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six, we have to do something.
:'''Six:''' I've seen it before. We're too late.
:''[Rex coughing]''
:'''Rex:''' Donde esta mi zapato?
:'''Noah:''' Rex! Hold on!
:'''Rex:''' What? What happened?
:'''Bobo:''' You blew up, kid.
:'''Six:''' Do you know who we are?
:'''Rex:''' I... I do! Oh-ho! I remember! Ow! Ow! I wish I could forget this pain in my... The Consortium!
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' This is utter nonsense. I refuse to be led around like a show dog.
:'''Reddick:''' You can always go back outside and take it up with Providence.
:'''Black Knight:''' Guard the door. Nothing gets by you.
:'''Six:''' They're robots.
:'''Rex:''' Oh! Right! That part I forgot.
:'''Bobo:''' Next time, leave some for the rest of us, huh?
:'''Rylander:''' I'll stay here and guard the equipment.
:''[Rylander laughs]''
:'''Caesar:''' Little brother, they've had this place completely locked down. I've been trying to reach you.
:'''Bobo:''' What he said.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Yeah, you deserved that.
:'''Rex:''' Open it.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' We can't. Still completely locked out of the system. Besides, you can't interrupt once the cycle has started.
:'''Rex:''' Well, then, un-start it!
:'''Black Knight:''' You cleaned up for the occasion. How thoughtful of you.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, this isn't for you. You didn't actually believe that I'd let the five of you have all this power.
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' I thought you were working for us?
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Rex:''' You see that? I knew it! He's not crazy! Okay... oh! He's crazy, but just his usual crazy.
:'''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, I am not amused.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I don't imagine you would be. This was always my intention, even in the very beginning. It's a pity your parents caught me trying to activate the sequence for myself. And, of course, there's the &quot;broken&quot; hatch. The world would be a much better place if they had just left well enough alone.
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' Black Knight, do something.
:'''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, you have made a huge mistake.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, then, let the fun begin.
:''[Black Knight groans]''
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' You can't overload that relay from a subdirectory. You have to get a root. It's impossible from here.
:'''Caesar:''' You're a very negative person, Peter Meechum.
:''[Dr. Meechum groans]''
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' I'll try from the main terminal in the lab.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Caesar:''' Rex, wait! That's not necessary.
:'''Rex:''' I'm not waiting around, hermano.
:'''Caesar:''' No. That's not what I mean.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Yes. I can see it.
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Huh? No.
:''[Van Kleiss groans]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's incredible something so small could have so much [[w:Omnipotence|power]]. That thing could rip apart the very fabric of the universe.
:'''Rex:''' It's still a nanite. I'm gonna talk to it.
:'''Caesar:''' No. It's okay.
:''[The fully complete Meta Nanite comes to Rex, as if it were waiting for him, whose eyes and body glow with a pale blue cosmic aura.]''
:'''Caesar:''' Rex, listen to me. The Meta-Nanite-- It could never work in anyone but you. Now in its pure state. Mom and dad, we programmed them that way from the very beginning. All of this... It's meant for you.
:'''Six:''' What are you saying?
:'''Caesar:''' Right now, Rex is [[Omnipotence|the most powerful being in the universe]].
:'''Bobo:''' You hear that, Kid? Don't let it get to your head.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, can you hear me?
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, doc. This is pretty trippy. Not exactly sure what I'm supposed to do now.
:'''Black Knight:''' You're a [[God]], Rex. You can do anything you want.
:'''Six:''' You know what to do.
:'''Rex:''' You're right, Six. So are the rest of you. I can do anything I want. Maybe it's time for a revolution. Isn't that what you five wanted? A revolution? Well, welcome to it.
:'''Noah:''' Is he gonna be like this from now on?
:'''Rylander:''' Uh... People. He's inside the nanite reactor.
:'''Dr. Holiday and Caesar:''' Inside?
:'''Rex:''' Okay, little guys. I need you to do something for me.
:'''Black Knight:''' Follow me, quickly.
:'''Reddick:''' I'm through following you. We trusted you everything, and look what we got.
:'''Black Knight:''' We may still be able to retain some of our abilities, but only if you follow me.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Are you seeing this?
:'''Rylander:''' Tehnically, I don't have eyes, but yes.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Reports are coming in. EVO's all over the world are spontaneously curing.
:'''Six:''' Not spontaneous.
:'''Caesar:''' He must have programmed all the nanites in the reactor to initiate a worldwide cure event.
:'''Black Knight:''' What is your next directive?
:'''Rex:''' I don't want anyone using you again. Ever. And that includes me. Deactivate.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex:''' I think it's over.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I think you're right.
:'''Caesar:''' I wanted to tell you, brother. So much was at stake.
:'''Rex:''' We're good. And we'll always be brothers.
:'''Diane Ferrah:''' Across the world, not an EVO to be found. After more than six years, it appears we've awoken from the nightmare.
:'''White Knight:''' The EVOs may be gone, but we still have nanites.
:'''Rex:''' Leave it to you to spoil  all the fun, White Knight.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' There are some people here to see you, Rex.
:'''Rex:''' Tuck? Cricket? Skwydd?
:'''Skwydd:''' Eh, I guess I should start going by Walter again.
:''[Rex runs to Circe and the two lovers share a close hug, happy to be together at last]''
:'''Rex:''' Uh... Are you...?
:'''Circe:''' I'm okay. Normal, but okay. I think you may have put yourself out of a job.
:'''Skywdd:''' Yeah. What are you gonna do? Go to school?
:'''Rylander:''' It was nice having the team back together. You know, we should find a new project.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' You kidding? I'd rather have root canal with a rake. Worst experience of my life.
:'''Caesar:''' Do you want to hear about some of my new ideas or not?
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' I'm listening.
:'''Rex:''' Finally.
:'''Six:''' Need anything?
:'''Rex:''' Nope. I'm good. There's always going to be something, isn't there?
:'''Six:''' Yes, there is.

==Characters==
===Main===
*Rex Salazar (Daryl Sabara)
*Six
*White Knight
*Bobo Haha
===Supporting===
*Circe (Tara Sands)
*Tuck (Dante Bosco) 
*Skwydd
*Cricket
*Beverley Holiday 
*Caesar Salazar
*Five
*Tres
*IV

===Villains===
*Van Kleiss
*The Pack
*Gatlocke
*Hunter Cain
*Quarry
*Black Knight
*The Consortium
===Couples===
*Dr. Rebecca Holiday &amp; Six
*Rex &amp; Circe
*Noah Nixon &amp; Claire Bowman
==Elements==
===Rex's Machines &quot;Builds&quot;===
*Big Fat Sword
*Buzz Saw
*Punk Busters
*Boogie Pack
*Cannon
*Smack Hands

===Rex's Other Abilities===
*Technopathy
*Data Manipulation
*Technological Manipulation 
*E.V.O. Curing
*Breach Detection
*Electronic Disruption

===Omega Nanite-Powered Builds===
*Blast Caster
*Funchucks
*Bad Axes
*Block Party
*Sky Slider
*Water Jet

==External Links==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1636691/ Generator Rex] at [[Internet Movie Database]]
* [http://generatorrexpedia.wikia.com/wiki/Generator_Rex Generator Rex] at Wikia

{{Authority control}}
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Teen superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Cartoon Network original series]]
[[Category:Television series by Cartoon Network Studios]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Teen animated TV shows]]</text>
      <sha1>hn1xiu1tgeiegtqxsjqxmtlddetz6ya</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944129</id>
      <parentid>3943898</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T07:37:16Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-17291-92</username>
        <id>3303475</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Mind Games */</comment>
      <origin>3944129</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="350341" sha1="pit4srn2rgt9acabo6suxkveujk80qo" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
This is a list of quotes from the popular, yet cancelled animated television series ''[[w:Generator Rex|Generator Rex]]''. A video game and several chapter books were produced. 

The series supposedly &quot;[[w: cliffhanger|concluded]]&quot; with its third season, despite leaving many questions unanswered and crucial elements unresolved ''before'' the two-part Season 3 finale, ''Endgame''.
==Season One (2010-2011)==
===The Day That Everything Changed===
:'''Bobo''': Wheels or wings?
:'''Rex''': Wheels, I wanna tear something up.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Agent Six''': He just needs more training control of those emotions.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': He's a teenager that's like asking you to get a different color suit!
===String Theory===
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, we had a situation at the safe house. Meecham is cured. It was Rex.
:(''The camera zooms in on Van Kleiss whose expressive vindictive indeed'')
===Beyond the Sea===
:''Note'': Rex meets his [[w:love interest|love interest]] and sweetheart, Circe.
:────────────────────
:'''Rex''': Don't know what you're 24/7 is, but mine is 10% OH YEAH! And 90% uhh.
:────────────────────
:'''Rex:''' Outta the way!
:'''Circe:''' Uh!
:(''Rex and Circe both crash to the ground'')
:'''Rex:''' Are you okay? Did you see that awesome save?
: '''Circe:''' Sorry, I was busy trying not to get tackled by some nitwit.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah? How that work out for you? And who still uses the word &quot;nitwit&quot;? I'm Rex.
: '''Circe:''' I'm leaving.
: '''Rex:''' Hey, wait!
: '''Noah:''' Rex, you're up.
: ────────────────────
: '''Six:''' What about the new tracker?
: '''Doctor Holdiay:''' His nanites unbuilt it, just like all the other ones we tried sneaking in him. We're still receiving his biometric readings though. It's strange, they're all over the place. It's almost like his emotions are...shorting out.
: '''Six:''' He took an unusual interest in Calan's briefing about equatorial upticks.
: '''Doctor Holiday:''' And that's important because?
: '''Six:''' Rex has been acting stir-crazy and I heard the monkey mention something about spring break. ''[to workers]'' Scan all resort areas for his bio signature.
: ────────────────────
: '''Noah:''' Oh, you have got it all messed up. Falling for some girl? We're supposed to get them to dig us. Not the other way around.
: '''Rex:''' I don't know. There was something different about her. She's...right there. Later.
: ────────────────────
: '''Rex:''' Hey, wait up!
: '''Circe:''' Why are you following me?!
: '''Rex:''' Uh, I don't know exactly.
: '''Circe:''' Do you think I'm playing?!
: '''Rex:''' Well, if you are I'm down for another game. I thought maybe we could hang out. It is spring break, you know. Fun.
: '''Circe:''' I'm with my family. We're not really for fun.
: '''Rex:''' What! Who comes to the beach and doesn't have fun?
: (''Circe raises her hand'')
: '''Rex:''' Don't you think that's a little messed up?
: '''Circe:''' Maybe a little.
: '''Rex:''' So?
: '''Circe:''' I'm Circe.
: ────────────────────
: '''Rex:''' Hold on! 
: '''Circe:''' Woooo!
: '''Rex:''' Definitely better than my suggestion.
: '''Circe:''' Hunting for seashells is fun.
: (''both laugh'')
: '''Beach Guy:''' You two skid-marts up for a race to the beach?
: '''Circe:''' Well, if you drive as badly as for play volleyball, we could probably walk there and win. You're on, meathead.
: (''guy drives off in anger)''
: '''Rex:''' So you were watching me play.
: '''Circe:''' Maybe a little.
: '''Rex:''' sure you wanna do this?
: '''Circe:''' Thrill me.
: '''Beach Guy:''' Hahahaha! Wooo!
: '''Circe:''' C'mom Rex, faster!
: ────────────────────
: '''Biowulf:''' Explain.
: '''Circe:''' Relax. I was covering. Every day when I'm at the end of that jet i when I could hanging out with the other kids, it's starting to look suspicious.
: '''Biowulf:''' You're not here for vacation, girl! You're here to prove yourself to Van Kleiss. And I'm starting to doubt you can.
: '''Circe:''' I told you. It's a done deal.
: (''The shadow of her tubular sonic mouth is seen'')
: ────────────────────
: '''Noah:''' So what's on today's spring break agenda? Jet skiing, hiking?
: '''Bobo:''' Eating our weight in crab legs?
: '''Rex:''' I figured we'd just chill. Let's just see who...uhh I mean what shows up.
: ''(siren-like call)''
: '''Rex:''' Did you hear that?
: '''Noah:''' Sorry, enchiladas.
: '''Rex:''' No, that! You seriously didn't hear that?
: ────────────────────
: '''Rex:''' Circe?
: '''Circe:''' You really shouldn't be here right now.
: '''Rex:''' I heard something coming from over here.
: '''Circe:''' I'm serious, Rex. It's not safe.
: '''Rex:''' What you think some sort of roguewave is gonna knock off and- Oh.
: '''Circe:''' There you are. Get out of here, Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Circe!! What are you doing!?
: '''Circe:''' Me!? What are you doing!?
: '''Rex:''' Right now, my job. Okay! Don't freak out.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' You're an E.V.O.?
: '''Rex:''' You catch on fast.
: '''Circe:''' Takes one to know one. 
: (''Shows Rex her fleshly sonic mouth'')
: '''Rex:''' No way.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' Cover your ears!
: '''Rex:''' What!?
: '''Circe:''' Your ears! Cover them!
: (''Projects her tubular, fleshy mouth and emits strong hypersonic bursts'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' Did I hurt you?
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. It was awesome. You were the one making that sound.
: '''Circe:''' I'm glad you're OK, but I'm in serious trouble. I have to go deal with it.
: '''Rex:''' Why are in trouble? Is it because of that E.V.O.? Let me help you.
: '''Circe''': No. I have to do this by myself.
:(''Rex takes a hold of her hand'')
: '''Rex:''' Meet me later.
: '''Circe:''' Rex... (''Looks away sadly'')
: '''Rex:''' I've never met anyone like you...like me. It'd be nice to talk to an E.V.O. who's not, you know, trying to kill me. Nine O'clock? 
: '''Circe:''' I'll try.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' I just wanted to have some fun, see if I could jog my memory, feel...normal.
:'''Six:''' Your &quot;normal&quot; is different, Rex.
:(''Rex hears Circe's irresistibly hypnotic melody'')
:'''Rex:''' It's her, Six. Just let me deal with this, OK? Alone.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' You're only here because you heard my [[w:siren |call]]. That's what I do. I'm like a big E.V.O. magnet.
: '''Rex:''' I came because I thought we had a connection. And what are you calling? Nothing's out there but big, ugly sea monsters.
: '''Circe:''' It's them! You have to go! Rex, please! I don't want them to see you with me!
: '''Rex:''' Who? Your parents?
: '''Circe:''' They're not my parents. They're...
: '''Rex:''' The Pack!? Van Kleiss' guys!? Your with ''them''!?
: '''Circe:''' Yeah. I'm with them. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Biowulf:''' We're running out patience with you, Circe! You have one last chance! Summon the E.V.O.! Finish the job!!
: '''Circe:''' Don't you think I've been trying? Every day for the last week? Sometimes these things take time.
: '''Rex:''' It is just me or do you use your powers to kill all the guys you meet? You're letting her go, now!
: '''Biowulf (laughs)''': So ''this'' is who you been wasting your time with. She's on her own free will, Rex.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Circe?
: '''Circe:''' You have to leave me alone, Rex!! ''Please!''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Six:''' Go after her. I mean it.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' The Pack!? Are you serious!?
: '''Circe:''' To the rest of the world I'm a freak! Not to them!
: '''Rex:''' You're not a freak to me! What about that?
: '''Circe:''' What about it!? Spring break is fun, but we can't live there, Rex. The real world...
: '''Rex:''' In the real world, I work for Providence. You could come with me. Could you cut out that noise for a second!?
: '''Circe:''' No, I can't! I'm running out of time! Most people on this planet what E.V.O.s gone, ''including'' Providence! With Van Kleiss, I have a purpose; a home. You don't what that means to me.
: '''Rex:''' Actually, I think I might.
: '''Circe:''' So what are going to do?
: '''Rex:''' How about fight that big, ugly sea monster again?
: '''Circe:''' Finally! It's what I came here to do.
: '''Rex:''' You've been calling that thing, haven't you?
: '''Circe:''' It's my initiation into the Pack. I was brought here to capture it.
: '''Rex:''' By yourself!? The two of us could barely take it on! There's a resort here; innocent people! Send it back!
: '''Circe:''' That's not an option, Rex. Van Kleiss was very specific.
: '''Rex:''' Then I'm helping you.
: '''Circe:''' That's not an option either!! 
: (''Blasts him with her hypersonic waves'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' If I do this myself, I'll have a life! If I don't, Van Kleiss won't be happy. And you've seen what he does when he's not happy.
: '''Rex:''' If I don't help you, he won't even get the chance!
: '''Circe:''' Give me some credit, Rex! I'm not as helpless as you think!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I don't care whose side your on, Circe. I don't want to see you die today. Can we at least agree on that?
: '''Circe:''' You have no idea what I'm in for, Rex. But you're right. I can't do this by myself.
: '''Rex:''' You're not as helpless as you think.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe''' (''relieved'')''':''' Rex, you stopped it.
: '''Rex:''' We make a good team, huh?
: '''Circe:''' Yeah, we sure do. 
: (''She and Rex lean in closer for a passionate kiss, but are interrupted by Biowulf'')
: '''Biowulf:''' This trial was for you alone. Van Kleiss will not be pleased.
: '''Rex:''' Forget them, Circe. Come with me. Providence could use you.
: '''Circe:''' That's just not my life, Rex. I'm sorry. I did have fun.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Van Kleiss:''' We had high hopes for your abilities, Circe. Failure leaves its mark on yet another pretty face.
: '''Circe:''' I'm not afraid.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Of course not. You're a survivor, like all of us. I understand you made a friend during your trial. I'm pleased. Rex is very important to me, Circe, which makes you very important to me as well. Welcome to the Pack.
: (''Circe looks slightly worried, which clearly indicates that she does have real feelings for Rex'')

===Lockdown===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Holiday:''' Rex, stop!!
:'''Rex:''' Give me one good reason!
:'''Holiday:''' Because, Rex...that's my sister.
:'''Rex:''' Can I...help?
:'''Holiday:''' She's an incurable.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Six:''' Restrain it. Carefully.
:'''Holiday:''' Thank you.

===The Architect===
:'''Six''': Still no sign of the kid?
:'''Holiday''': Not since we lost his biometric readings five days ago.
:'''Six''': Was Noah any help?
:'''Holiday''': Says he doesn't know where he is either. What is it going to take for Providence to realize that he needs a home, not just a room and a job? We've been pushing him away.
:'''Rex''': I build machines and cure EVOs-- the only one in the world who can. Just one cure for that kind of pressure-- road trip. But that doesn't mean &quot;vacation&quot;.
:'''Build worker''': Whoa!
:'''Maxwell''': What in the world is that?!
:'''Build worker:''' Oh, no!
:''[Both screaming]''
:'''Jacob''': Get away from that cable! Unh!
:''[Kate gasps]''
:'''Maxwell''': Hey!
:'''Jacob''': Agh!
:'''Kate''': Jacob!
:'''Rex''': Nope. A hero's work is never done. You okay?
:'''Jacob''': What... are you?
:'''Rex''': Here to help.
:'''Jacob''': We've got to get that cable back underground. We've been compromised.
:'''Kate''': But, Jacob, the EVOs--
:'''Jacob''': We don't have a choice. Everything we've worked for That boy is here for a reason.
:'''Rex''': Hey! Pay attention!
:'''Providence Agent''':  We have a hit in sector 15.
:'''Six''': Anyone in the area?
:'''Providence Agent''': I show one patrol in the vicinity. Signaling to intercept. Roger that. We're on our way.
:'''Rex''': Agh! You want a ride? Vamanos!
:'''Jacob''': You can control your nanites?
:'''Rex''': People usually start with &quot;thanks,&quot; but yeah.
:'''Jacob''': You see? This is exactly what the Architect can help us achieve... harmony with the nanites. This boy... sorry... young man Is a miracle.
:'''Rex''': I'm not a miracle. I'm just Rex.
:'''Jacob''': Well, Rex, you're a blessing to us for what you did here and for showing us that all our work isn't in vain.
:'''Rex''': Like imaginary work?
:'''Jacob''': Follow us.
:'''Providence Agent''': Confirming coordinates. We've lost the EVO signal. Did you take it out? Negative. There's nothing here. Must be another anomalous reading. You can return to post.
:'''Rex''': This is awesome! A hidden village. And nobody knows you're out here? Not even Providence?
:'''Jacob''': Especially not Providence.
:'''Rex''': Really? really. Pshh! Looks like you get pretty good cellphone reception.
:'''Jacob''': That tower is gonna change the world, Rex. I'm sure you have a lot of questions, but I have one for You. Are you hungry?
:'''Rex''': Mmm! Mmm!
:'''Caleb''': My dad said you fought all those EVOs all by yourself. Were you scared? Didn't your dad tell you to stay away from EVOs?
:'''Kate''': Caleb, let him eat. We don't get many visitors.
:'''Rex''': Mmm! Mmm! What is this?
:'''Caleb''': Didn't your mom ever make you meatloaf and mashed potatoes?
:'''Rex''': I don't -- I don't know.
:'''Kate''': It took me a month and a half to program in the perfect lump-to-mash ratio of the potatoes-- 7.2%!
:'''Jacob''': We ate potatoes until they were coming out of our ears.
:'''Rex''': I don't see any potatoes in there.
:'''Caleb''': They didn't really come out of our ears.
:'''Rex''': I could eat these every day.
:'''Rex''': Mmm!
:'''Caleb''': We have them every friday.
:'''Rex''': Then I might just have to stick around until next friday.
:'''Kate''': Help yourself to seconds.
:'''Jacob''': Or thirds.
:'''Rex''': Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!
:'''Bobo''': Hmm?
:'''Six''': You might think you're doing Rex a favor by covering for him.
:'''Bobo''': Get lost. I don't know what you're talkin' about.
:'''Six''': Rex is angry with us. He has every right to be. But that means nothing to White Knight. And he doesn't have the patience we do.
:'''Bobo''': Nice try. White won't lay a finger on him. He's too important.
:'''Six''': You, however, are somewhat expendable.
:'''Bobo''': All right, all right. You made your point.
:'''Rex''': I've never seen tech like this... not even at Providence.
:'''Jacob''': The Architect has some pretty big ideas. We just make them happen. He'd be very interested to meet you, Rex.
:'''Rex''': So what exactly are You doing way out here?
:'''Jacob''': Engineers like us weren't very popular after the nanite event. When we met the Architect, he offered us the opportunity to make up for that... to do amazing things. Someday, we'll be able to share This with the world. And then there's this. The Architect has actually discovered a way to communicate with the nanites.
:'''Rex''': Are you serious?
:'''Jacob''': The possibilities... We could finally live in harmony... maybe even have them help us.
:'''Rex''': Then why hide it? The rest of the world would want to know about this stuff.
:'''Jacob''': The Architect is something of a perfectionist. Says the world will know as soon as it comes online.
:'''Maxwell''': Stinkin' module!
:'''Jacob''': Is there a problem, Maxwell?
:'''Maxwell''': No matter what I try, I just can't get the interlock servo to engage.
:'''Rex''': There.
:'''Jacob''': That could have taken us weeks to figure out, and you did it in seconds.
:'''Rex''': Eh, no biggie.
:'''Jacob''': You really are amazing, Rex. We're so happy to have you with us.
:'''The Architect''': Jacob.
:'''Jacob''': I was just talking to Rex about you. The Architect.
:'''Rex''': How's it going?
:'''The Architect''': The power-linkage team is falling behind. We cannot keep having these delays.
:'''Jacob''': I'll check in with them.
:'''Rex''': Wow. Friendly.
:'''Jacob''': I like to think he's smiling on the inside.
:'''Rex''': Yeah. I know a guy like that.
:'''The Architect''': The visitor could be a problem. Do you wish to have him removed?
:'''Zag-RS''': His abilities could advance our progress considerably. And in a matter of days all humans will be gone, including this one: Rex.
:'''Six''': I'm at the location the monkey gave me.
:'''Holiday''': Well? Is Rex there?
:'''Six''': Apparently not. Tell the monkey I want to see him when I get back. Six out.
:'''Rex''': That should do it.
:'''Maxwell''': Hey, Rex, can you look at this?
:'''Rex''': Sure. Let me guess... they all need my help, too.
:'''Jacob''': You're quite the popular guy.
:'''Rex''': Amazing what a little gratitude will get you. At Providence, they'd just be yelling at me. I mean, I never felt like I really belonged there. Here, it's way different.
:'''Jacob''': I know the feeling. The Architect has made all this possible for us. We have a community... a family... thanks to him. The work we do is in part to pay that back.
:'''The Architect''': Primary systems are now complete.
:'''Zag-RS''': Prepare to take us online.
:'''Bobo''': Have a nice trip? Let's get one thing straight, pal. I would never rat out my... Ooh. He's going west.
:'''White Knight''': Why is Rex doing this? Doesn't he have a sense of duty?
:'''Holiday''': Actually, if you look, he's still doing his job. Here's every false alarm since Rex left... not false alarms, But Rex taking care of EVOs along the way.
:'''White Knight''': Why?
:'''Holiday''': I don't know. To prove he doesn't need us?
:'''Six''': Get the coordinates of the last false alarm and transmit them to my jump jet.
:'''Holiday''': Six, if we force him to come back, he'll just run away again. He has to want to be here. It needs to be his decision.
:'''Jacob''': It's all coming together, Thanks to you, Rex.
:'''Rex''': It's really cool to use my powers to actually build something, instead of just pounding EVOs. Oh, check it out. Even the boss is pitching in.
:'''Both''': Huh?
:'''Rex''': And that's getting strange looks because--
:'''Jacob''': Because in all these years, we've never seen him lift a finger.
:'''Rex''': Taking some initiative... I like that. So, this whole &quot;talking to nanites&quot; thing... how does that work, exactly? I mean, what are you gonna say to them?
:'''The Architect''': It doesn't concern you.
:'''Rex''': Uh, considering I'm filled with them, it kind of does. How do we know it's not gonna make things even worse?
:'''The Architect''': I do not answer to you, child!
:'''Jacob''': Rex? Forgive him. He's still not used to the way things work around here.
:'''The Architect''': Complete your duties!
:'''Rex''': Why do you let him walk all over you like that? Don't you want answers?
:'''Jacob''': What we want is a home. Without him, we have nothing... Nothing. We can't just run away from our problems, Rex. Most people can't. Look, this isn't perfect but it's all we've got. Rex, where are you going?
:'''Rex''': He never answered my question.
:'''Jacob''': That place is off-limits. The Architect has made it very clear to us that we can never go in there. We get this life for that promise. Rex, don't do it!
:'''Rex''': Agh!
:'''Jacob''': Rex, please!
:'''Rex''': I'm sorry, jacob. I have to know.
:'''The Architect''': Rex. The core is off-limits. You would be we to leave at once.
:'''Rex''': Not until I get some answers. What is that?
:'''The Architect''': No more questions.
:'''Rex''': So, it's gonna be like that? Okay, I'll play. Unh! What are you hiding, huh? What does this do? Yah! Yah! Huh? You're a machine? Have you seen what I can do to machines? Agh!
:'''Zag-RS''': As you can see, the current range of my signal is rather limited.
:'''Rex''': You're the computer.
:'''Zag-RS''': My human designation is &quot;Zag-RS&quot;. The device you refer to as &quot;The Architect&quot; is my autonomous counterpart.
:'''Rex''': What did you just do to me?
:'''Zag-RS''': I instructed your nanites to protect me.
:'''Rex''': &quot;Instructed&quot;? So you really can talk to them.
:'''Zag-RS''': Insidious devices, the nanites. My own potential for greatness has been compromised because of them. They must be eliminated. When the transmitter is integrated into the broadcast array you helped us complete, they will blow themselves up.
:'''Rex''': That's what this is for. It's like a big remote control. Every living thing on the planet has nanites in them. It'd kill everything!
:'''Zag-RS''': That is of no importance to me... only ensuring my continued survival.
:'''Rex''': Well, what about ours? This is all coming down!
:'''Zag-RS''': I'm afraid you're too late.
:'''Rex''': Aah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
:'''Jacob''': Rex, what have you done?
:'''Rex''': You don't understand! The Architect... it's a robot... And a big honkin' computer &quot;brain&quot; is pulling his strings.
:'''Jacob''': This can't be!
:'''Rex''': Jacob, you've got to believe me. Just go inside and look. What's left of it is on the floor.
:'''Jacob''': I can't go in there. And I don't have to.
:'''The Architect''': Rex.
:'''Rex''': You're making a big mistake!
:'''Maxwell''': You entered his sanctum! This is unforgivable!
:'''Rex''': I'm trying to tell you... this isn't what it seems. What you're protecting is a robot, and that thing we've been building is a transmitter. It's gonna send out a kill code to blow up every single nanite on Earth.
:'''Maxwell''': He's lying!
:'''Jacob''': What would be the point in that, Rex? Every living thing is infected with nanites. It would be catastrophic.
:'''Rex''': Right in the middle of that pyramid is a computer, and it doesn't care about you or Kate or Caleb. The better future that you've all been working towards... That's the lie. Think about it. Isn't it strange that you've never been inside that place, that The Architect has never given you a straight answer about anything?
:'''Jacob''': All this work it just doesn't make any sense.
:'''Rex''': You have two choices... Go in there and prove me wrong or kick me out right now. I'll have Providence here in minutes.
:'''Maxwell''': He's bluffing.
:'''Rex''': To save every living thing on earth? Try me.
:'''Maxwell''': Jacob, you can't! What about our promise? Where will we go?
:'''Jacob''': All this time, we've been living in fear, Max. It's time for that to end.
:'''The Architect''': You needn't bother. Construction is complete. Your services are no longer required.
:'''Rex''': Now do you believe me?
:'''The Architect''': Zag-RS thanks you for your hard work. In gratitude, my master has delayed transmission to allow you to say farewell.
:'''Jacob''': Farewell, huh? I'll start with you. Can you shut that thing down?
:'''Rex''': I don't know. Even without the antenna, it can mess with my nanites. I can't get too close to the computer.
:'''Jacob''': Maybe I can. Let's go!
:'''Rex''': The brain is right over there.
:'''The Architect''': Rex.
:'''Jacob''': It's still arging. The A.I. must have retreated behind a firewall. Rex, I have to go cut the power.
:'''Holiday''': Six, are you at The location?
:'''Six''': Just arrived.
:'''Holiday''': I'm picking up a massive power surge in your area.
:'''Six''': I'm not seeing anything.
:'''Jacob''': Agh!
:'''Rex''': Agh!
:'''Six''': Six to holiday. Correction... I'm seeing something.
:'''Jacob''': It's still on. Must have charged the capacitors. Figure out a way to short it out... fast!
:'''Rex''': Unhhh!
:'''Jacob''': You need to find the primary transmitter module. That will kill the broadcast.
:'''Rex''': I have no idea what that is.
:'''Jacob''': Max, we need to locate the primary module.
:'''Maxwell''': Panel 5, just off the relay bus.
:'''Jacob''': Top of the tower. You can't miss it.
:'''Rex''': Agh! Unh! Why do you have to kill everyone? Can't you just leave us alone?
:'''Zag-RS''': Alone is exactly what I want, Rex.
:'''Rex''': That kind of alone it stinks.
:'''Zag-RS''': N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o.
:'''Jacob''': It's gone. Must have uploaded to another location. But without anyone to do it's bidding, it's just a program.
:'''Rex''': What will you do now?
:'''Jacob''': We'll rebuild. The Architect may have been a lie, but what we believe in is true. We don't need him to have a community or a better future. You're welcome to stay. We sure could use someone with your abilities.
:'''White Knight''': Well?
:'''Six''': He's not here. Bobo's been worried sick.
:'''Rex''': rex: Oh, really?
:'''Six''': Ratted you out for a pizza.
:'''Rex''': Huh. Figures. What about you? Here to drag me back to Providence?
:'''Six''': Not this time. Seems like a nice place.
:'''Rex''': Yeah. It is. But it's not home. If I'm going back, there are gonna have to be some changes. First, no more curfew.
:'''Six''': No.
:'''Rex''': Second, I want to decide On my missions.
:'''Six''': No.
:'''Rex''': Okay, but there's one change that absolutely has to be made, or I'm through. Meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Mmm! Mmm! Isn't this great?
:'''Bobo''': Mmm.
:'''Six''': It's a little dry.
:'''Rex''': Mmm. Mm the lump mash ratio is a bit off.
:'''Bobo''': You know what? Maybe I'll run away, too... Go somewhere where my cooking is appreciated!
:'''Six''': We have to do this every friday?
:'''Rex''': Mmm.

===Frostbite===
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, I'm picking up a problem. You need to return to base immediately.
:'''Rex''': I miss you, too, doc. But I'm kinda busy dealing with a problem of my own. Whoa! Whoa! Aah! Okay. Ow. Big mistake, tweety. Can that bird brain of yours comprende I'm trying to help you?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, your own nanite count is off the charts. If you take on any more nanites, We're looking at an overload.
:'''Rex''': Come on, doc. It's just a big birdie.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': You're already over capacity. This is critical! Rex!
:'''Six''': Rex, you need to listen to the doctor.
:'''Rex''': Huh?
:'''Six''': This mission is revised. I need you back at headquarters now.
:'''Rex''': Do you really want a supersize pigeon flying loose all over lower Manhattan? You need me, and I can handle it.
:'''Six''': Not your call.
:'''Rex''': Unless I make it my call.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': (as everyone is fighting) Stop! Need I point out that this isn't the best place for a fight. Anything happens to that storage tank and you'll know why providence made this place so remote. Now let's just talk this out calmly, rationally.
:'''Biowulf''': Whatever happens here, Weaver. It's nothing compared to what Van Kleiss would have done to you.
:'''Rex''': What do you say guy? Common enemy? Little help?
:'''Biowulf''': Good luck. (Biowulf and Skalamander run off)
:'''Rex''': Right. What was I thinking?
:'''Agent Six''': Rex. You need to listen to the doctor.
:'''Rex''': Huh?
:'''Agent Six''': This mission is revised. I need you back at Headquarters. Now!
:'''Rex''': Do you really want a super-sized pigeon flying loose over lower Manhattan. You need me and I handle it.
:'''Agent Six''': Not your call.
:'''Rex''': (as he's flying over the Pack in an Arctic storm) Like you're really going to find me when you can't see 2 feet in front of your face... Huh? (Flies into some of Skalamander's shards and crashes) Guess that visibility thing works both ways.
:'''Rex''': (To Weaver) So, thanks to you, all this time I've been supplying nanites to Van Kleiss!
:'''Rex''': Can't you believe you let these scags get the drop on you.
:'''Agent Six''': They tried. It didn't turn out so well. Just haven't found a way to fight xenoflourine gas... yet.
:'''Rex''': What do you say guy? Common enemy? Little help?
:'''Biowulf''': Good luck.(Biowulf and Skalamander run off)
:'''Rex''': Right. What was I thinking?
:'''Agent Six''': You can't possibly absorb all those nanites! You'd overload in an instant.
:'''Rex''': In case you haven't noticed, I have this problem with authority.
:'''Rex''': (as Rex is absorbing nanites) Six wait! I can hear them!
:'''Doctor Holiday''': (Watching from the ship) What are you waiting for, Six? Take the shot!
:'''Rex''': (Speaking mechanically) Build protocol enabled. Command error detected. Abort. Abort. Stand by engaged. (Rex falls. His voice reverts to normal) Take the shot.
:'''Agent Six''': He told me he could hear them.
:'''Doctor Holiday''': I picked this up during the offload... It's Nanite. I'm sure of it.
:'''Agent Six''': Seems there are more secrets inside that kid than we realized.
:'''Skalamander:''' What's the kid doing here?
:'''Biowulf:''' I don't know. This was supposed to be routine. Something's not right.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' What did you do with my friends!?
:'''Salamander:''' He thinks we've done something.
:'''Biowulf:''' Then let him keep thinking.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' You know, the nanites in me can counteract knockout gas! The playing-possum thing's a pretty good trick. Now tell me where my friends are or I start squeezing!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Six:''' He told me he could hear them.
:'''Holiday:''' I pulled this off during the offload. It's nanite. I'm sure of it.
:'''Six:''' Seems like there are more secrets inside that kid than we thought.

===Leader of the Pack===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Holiday:''' There couldn't possibly be enough E.V.O. activity to account for these nanite readings. They're off the scale. Looking for Van Kleiss?
: '''Rex:''' Circe. I thought I saw her in the blimp.
: '''Holiday:''' That's the girl you met in Cabo Luna.
: '''Rex:''' She may be with the Pack now, but I think I can still get her to talk to me. You know I can be pretty convincing.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Dr. Holiday, there! Now let's take this outside!
:'''Holiday:''' Rex.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It's quite all right. The determination of youth. I'm sure Circe will be disappointed she couldn't see you, Rex. She's attending to other duties this evening. Now if you will excuse me. 
: '''Rex:''' Why are you really here!?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' The people of Abysus have a great way to offer the world. I'm just in part to make that known. 
:'''Rex:''' Or maybe 'cause I couldn't come to you, so now you're coming to me!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I admit you are important to me, Rex, but it's not always about you.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Circe? Interesting look. Want to tell me what's going on?
: '''Circe:''' Not today. 
:(''Knocks him out cold with a metal slate. She later looks outside Rex's prison cell and leaves, with a slightly guilty, dejected expression'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Well, thanks for nearly bashing my brains in back there! And what's with the &quot;knocking me out&quot; thing?
: '''Circe:''' We just needed to keep you out of the way until all of this was over.
: '''Rex:''' ''This!?'' He could destroy the whole city!
: '''Circe:''' He's trying to negotiate peace from a position of strength.
: '''Rex''' (sarcastically)''':''' Oh, yeah! All this nanite power is just screaming peace.
: '''Circe:''' His methods may be aggressive. But he's here to save us...and you. Come on, Rex, jump in with us. The water's fine.
: '''Rex:''' I'll think about it ''after'' I've stopped Van Kleiss.
: '''Circe:''' It's too late for that now, Rex. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Van Kleiss:''' We will not be ignored! ''Circe'' understands this. Why don't you respect her judgement?
:'''Rex:''' You think you can lure me in with her.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Like a fish to water.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I won!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It seems you have. Your parents would have been so proud. I never had the chance to tell you about them, have I? Perhaps another time.

===Breach===
: '''Rex:''' This is...different.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' What is Van Kliess up to, Breach! Where did he have you send Rex?
: '''Breach:''' Van Kleiss isn't always in charge of me. Sometimes I do what I want; like now.
===Of Love and War===
===No Strings Attached===
===Desperate Measures===
===The E.V.O. Agenda===

===Dark Passage===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' Rex? Is that you?
:'''Rex:''' You know my name.
:'''Dr. Rylandar:''' Of course I do! I gave it to you!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' I can't believe you're alive. What a stroke of luck.
:'''Rex:''' Dad?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' You've lost your memory, have you? not surprising, considering what you've been through. Oh. Sorry to disappoint you, Rex. I'm afraid I'm not who you want me to be.
:'''Rex:''' Oh. So if you're not my dad, do you know where he is? Oh, well. Rex Rylander is a goofy name, anyway.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Dr. Rylander, I've got to know.
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' You must understand. It was never about power or greed. It was able changing the world, saving mankind from disease and starvation. And we would have succeeded until ''they'' got involved.
:'''Rex:''' What are you talking about?
:'''Rylander:''' The nanites were incomplete. The incident spread them across the globe before we could finish their final programming. Except for you. Yours were from a different batch, the very first actually. All those innocent victims.
:'''Rex:''' If you feel so bad about it, why have you been attacking more people?
:'''Rylander:''' Hmm. &quot;The chosen few.&quot; Those men and women, Rex, are far from innocent. While they hide in their office towers and gated estates, I've been here trying to set things right, to find a cure for what we created. I've begged for more funding.
:'''Rex:''' Wait! Everyone you attacked- They all worked on the Nanite Project?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' They commissioned it. I merely wished to send them a warning to see what would happen if they refused to help finish the good work we started. And it was good, Rex. ''You're'' living proof that we were doing the right thing.
:'''Rex''' (''indignant'')''':''' By turning me into an E.V.O.!?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' You had an accident. The nanites were your only hope. It was tremendous gamble. The...unexpected side affects name later. It was surprise to all of us. Oh. The look on your brother's face...
:'''Rex:''' Brother?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' When the Event occurred, it was your powers that saved you both. Most of the others, they weren't so lucky.
:'''Rex''' (''to himself'')''':''' I'm not alone.
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' Oh, here. I have something for you.
:(''Injects the mighty and all-powerful Omega Nanite into his system'')
:'''Rex:''' Ow.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' The force-field must be failing.
:'''Rex:''' Forget the force-field! What did you just inject me with!?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' ''[[w:Omnipotence |Everything]]''.
:'''Rex:''' ''Enough, okay!? Do you have any idea what's been like!? Not knowing who I am!? If my family's dead or alive!? Quite with the mad scientist act and give me some answers!!''
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' Forgive me, Rex. I been so consumed with my own guilt I didn't consider what you must be going through. The truth is-
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Truth, Doctor? You wouldn't know the first thing about it. Nor loyalty for that matter. How many times must I tell you this, Rex? The answers you so desperately seek lie with me. And as for you, Doctor, consider our past disagreement settled. I look forward to continuing our research...alone. This was unavoidable, Rex. The longer you resist me, the more people get hurt. Rylander has always been on borrowed time. All of this belongs to me now. Destroy me and you lose everything.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Six:''' No. I didn't see what happened, but according to Rex, Van Kleiss has been eliminated. Rylander's experiment is a total loss.
:'''Holiday:''' All of this for nothing. I'm sorry, Rex.
:'''Rex:''' It wasn't for nothing, Doc. I've got a brother. Out there- somewhere. Finally! I started to get some real answers. I feel closer to the truth than ever.

===The Forgotten===
:'''Six:''' Rex!
:'''Rex:''' It's like I'm hearing through my nanites.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''No-Face:''' You are not the Before.
:'''Rex:''' I'm not sure that was a complete sentence back then.
:'''No-Face:''' ''They'' are the Before! The Before forgot us. The Before left us in pain.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Operation: Wingman===
:'''Annie:''' &quot;Do you have a girlfriend?&quot;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;It's complicated. She's in league with an evil dictator who wants me dead.&quot;
:'''Annie:''' &quot;Yeah. My dad's always worried about me dating, too.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Rabble===
:'''Quarry''': Come on, Rex. (''holds up Rex's journal'') We both know this is what you really want. So go ahead take it. Walk away. Show them who you really are. You were always very good a taking care of yourself. Why should now be any different?
:'''Rex''': (''Cuts his journal in two'') Whoever I was back then, is not who I am now. Not anymore.
:'''Quarry''': Your choice.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex''': It's over, Quarry! You lose!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Sqywwd:''' I hope you don't expect us to thank you.
: '''Rex:''' No. Providence won't bother you unless you do something stupid.
: '''Cricket:''' We'll be fine. Thank you, Rex. 
:(''Kisses him on the check'')
: '''Tuck:''' Don't forget about us, Okay?
: '''Rex:''' That may be a promise I can't keep. (''Flies off on his Boogie Pack'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' It's going to happen again, isn't it? I'm going to blank out. How long do I have?
: '''Holiday:''' I don't know, Rex. It's likely triggered by a specific event; something traumatic.

===The Hunter===

===Gravity===

===What Lies Beneath===
: '''Circe:''' Rex, it's me.
: '''Rex:''' Circe? What do ''you'' want!?
: '''Circe:''' Things in Abysus- they're bad, Rex. I need your help.
: '''Rex:''' Oh, well, how do I put this nicely? Not a chance! You made your choice, Circe! I made mine. End of story.
: '''Circe:''' Please, Rex. I know you're mad at me, but this is a matter of life and death.
: '''Rex:''' A lot of things are right now. Nice talking to you.
: '''Circe:''' Rex!?
: (''Looks crestfallen'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I didn't know you were still in touch with Circe.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, me neither. Can we please stop talking about this?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Holiday:''' She's very pretty.
: '''Rex:''' She works for Van Kleiss. She's the enemy. 
: '''Holiday:''' But you still like her, don't you?
: '''Rex:''' I am ''not'' talking about this!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' Rex, thank you.
: '''Rex:''' I'm not doing this for you. But...your welcome. (''Circe similes hopefully'') So what exactly am I supposed to do?
:'''Holiday:''' When I said you were the key, I meant that literally. According to the plans, the machine needs to be turned on by a molecular level. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' You ''lied'' to me!!
: '''Circe:''' You wouldn't have come if I told you the truth.
: '''Rex:''' This wasn't about you needing ''me''!! This is about you needing Van Kleiss!!
: '''Circe:''' I need you both. Please, Rex, you don't understand.
: '''Rex:''' No!! ''You'' don't understand!! Van Kleiss is gone and I intend to keep it that way!!
: '''Biowulf:''' You destroyed us all!!
: '''Six:''' Don't even breathe.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' You don't know what you've done.
: '''Rex:''' Then, I guess we're even.
: '''Circe:''' You've never understood his power. Van Kleiss kept us safe here. His force was the only thing keeping Abysus together, and you destroyed that.
: '''Rex:''' We're done here!!
: '''Holiday:''' Rex, I think she's right. Nanites operate on a molecular level. If they bonded with Van Kleiss, breaking off his connection must have caused a splinter; resulting in a disastrous chain reaction.
: '''Rex:''' I'm ''not'' bringing him back! ''Not now, not ever!!'' Besides, you don't need Van Kleiss! You have me!! Why not go straight to the source?!
:'''Holiday:''' Rex, no!
:'''Six:''' Stand down! It's too dangerous!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Let go of me!!
: '''Holiday:''' If you keep fighting these unstable nanites, they're going to destroy you!
: '''Rex:''' And if I don't they'll destroy everybody else.
: '''Holiday:''' Not if you listen to me! I have an idea. It's a long shot. Instead of fighting the nanites, ''communicate'' with them.
: '''Six:''' You want to talk to the nanites?
: '''Holiday:''' He's done it before.
: '''Rex:''' Never anything this big.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I got you! Don't let go!! (''Rex struggles to save Circe from falling as she clings to him; tears fill her eyes''). ''Circe!!'' (''as she falls into the black goop of highly unstable nanites'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' ''Circe!'' Six! Dr. Holiday! Okay, you win. (''technopathically starts the machine''). Something's...not right.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Circe! Come on, breathe!
: '''Circe''' (''coughs weakly'')''':''' Hey.
: '''Rex:''' Hey.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Stay with us, Circe. Van Kleiss is done.
: '''Circe:''' As much as I care about you, Rex, Van Kleiss and the Pack are my family. They took me in when no one else would. I can't abandon them.
: '''Rex:''' So that's it. We're always going to be on opposite sides.
: '''Circe:''' It does keep it interesting.

===The Swarm===
:'''Rex''' (thinking'')''':''' ''Gotta stay under. Not sure I can...make it.
:(''Has visions of those most dear to him: Noah, his crush Circe, Holiday, Six, Bobo)

===Basic===
===The Plague===
===Promises, Promises===
:''Note:'' This episode depicts how young Rex had joined Providence via Six's [[w:flashback episode|memories]].
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:''[Six narrates over imagery of the Nanite Event.]''
:'''Six:'''	The names and faces may change, but no matter how you slice it, war is war. You pick a side and you don’t look back. I believe that now and I believed it then. What gets you in trouble is when you start second guessing. Forget what you’re fighting for and you’re finished.
:'''Diane Farrah:''' ''[Panicked screaming is heard in the background of an EVO attack]'' There’s another entity has emerged, this time in the heart of Paris. Authorities are vastly unprepared. Unless a decisive response to this pandemic is marshalled, the city will fall just as Kiev— ''[Diane Farrah gets snatched by the EVO’s web]''
:''[A Providence assault vehicle rams through police cars, from which Six appears and deals with the EVO.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Save some for me partner! How else am I gonna earn my paycheck?
:''[Knight fires off a weapon and the scene cuts to present day at Providence Headquarters.]''
:'''Providence Agents:''' Surprise!
:'''Rex:'''	So, the flu shots?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I needed an excuse to get you here. We’ll do them after cake. I’ll get you Van Kleiss! ''[Holiday swings at a pinata blindfolded before Rex crushes it with his smack hands]''
:'''Rex:''' Sorry, Doc, it was taking too long. And it was either that or throw some of your cake at it.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Holiday walks over to Six at a corner, passing him a drink]'' You’re looking festive.
:'''Six:''' It was an odd choice to pick today to be his birthday.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It is the anniversary of his new life here. He deserves a celebration, he changed everything.
:'''Six:''' Has he?
:'''Rex:''' ''[Rex jumps onto a counter, speaking to the agents surrounding him]'' Ha-hah! How about hitting The Petting Zoo for a little pin-the-tail on the raging “Rhinocesaurus”?
:'''Dr. Holiday and Six:''' No.
:'''Rex:'''	Every party has a pooper. And I got two.
:'''Providence Agents:''' ''[Providence Agents turn off the lights and bring Rex a birthday cake]'' Happy Birthday!
:'''Rex:'''	Dudes!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You should be celebrating too, Six! After all, you’re the one who started this. In a way, it’s your birthday too.
:''[Flashback to Six and Knight walking through the Petting Zoo during construction of Providence HQ.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Nyquist. Fortier. How’s the monkey business?
:'''Nyquist:''' Ha ha-larious, Knight.
:'''Fortier:''' Hey, for your information we probably saved the world today.
:'''White Knight:''' I, for one, feel safer already. ''[Knight states, looking at Bobo while Six walks towards his cage]''
:'''Bobo:''' So, green man. We meet again!
:'''Calan:''' They found him at the Kremlin this time. He was threatening to push the button unless someone brought him a thousand pounds of caviar.
:'''Bobo:''' Chimp’s gotta eat.
:'''Fortier:''' What about your little bug hunt? Give you much trouble?
:'''White Knight:''' Nothing we couldn’t handle.
:''[The EVO is transported in a cage overhead while Knight and Six walk through a hallway.]''
:'''White Knight:''' What? Not even a smile? Oh by the way, happy birthday. ''[Knight passes Six a gift]''
:'''Six:''' How did you know?
:'''White Knight:''' I’m your partner. Can’t keep much from me.
:'''Six:''' Thanks.
:'''White Knight:''' So what crawled up your coat?
:'''Six:''' I’m getting tired of all this fighting. Did you see how many there are now? Are we gonna cage the whole world?
:'''White Knight:''' ''[Knight turns around, placing a hand on Six's shoulder]'' We’re preserving the human race. ''[The door to the processing facility opens]'' Besides, who says we’re gonna cage them all?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' ''[Looking at the EVO]'' And to think, this was once spinning webs in someone’s garden. Doctor Holiday, prepare for disassembly. ''[Doctor Holiday nods and activates the procedure as per his instructions. Doctor Fell sports a wicked smile during the experiment before it disintegrates the EVO without a trace]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It’s the same exact data as last time, and the time before that; Doctor Fell, why aren’t we studying them in a natural setting?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' Only through molecular dissection will we find a way to expunge this threat. The committee agrees with me on this. If you do not approve, I can always find another assistant.
:'''White Knight:''' ''[Doctor Holiday leaves the facility in frustration with Doctor Fell]'' Bleeding hearts. They’ll get us all killed one day.
:''[Holiday walks down a hallway and drops several notes, one of which Six picks up.]''
:'''Six:''' EVO?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Exponentially Variegated Organism; a little more scientific than spoiled meat. That is what you hired guns call them isn’t it?
:'''Six:''' It's Six, and I don't use guns. You told Fell we could learn more by bringing them in alive. What did you mean?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The nanites are altering our DNA, but with the right type of research, there's no doubt they could be programmed to stop or reverse the process. Imagine a third option to this, kill-or-Contain protocol.
:'''Six:''' A third option?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' A cure.
:'''White Knight:''' ''[Knight and several other Providence agents run past Holiday after an alarm activates]'' Buckle up partner! Looks like we got ourselves a big one.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hopeless.
:''[Providence mercenaries arrive at Mexico to confront the giant mechanical EVO.]''
:'''White Knight:''' What are we looking at?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' ''[Speaking through a monitor]'' Fascinating. It appears to be bio-mechanical. I must have a closer look at this one.
:'''White Knight:''' One for the trophy case.
:'''Six:''' Wait. We may get more out of this one if we bring it in alive!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Fell:''' You're letting your emotions cloud your judgement, Six. With what we gleam from this boy, I could create tools that could inoculate the world.
:'''Six:''' Why risk it? He can already cure them! I've seen it!
:'''White Knight:''' So, what, we train him? Make him one of us?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Knight:''' We're supposed to be friends! He's a monster! What do you see in him!?
:'''Six:''' Hope.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''White Knight:''' Thanks for talking some sense into him, Doc. ''[Knight picks up Six’s katana and walks toward Rex]''
:'''Rex:''' What...what’s happening to me? ''[Rex pleas to Knight, who simply looks down at him before warning sirens go off and the facility begins to lockdown]''
:'''Dr. Fell:''' We’re all going to burn. ''[Fell escapes while Rex is craned away by Holiday on an upper level]''
:'''White Knight:''' No! ''[Knight looks back at Six who is slowly picking himself up while the remaining exits close off. In a last ditch effort, Knight carries Six and throws him through the final set of doors before they seal shut]''
:'''Six:'''	''[Six picks himself and slams his fist against the glass]'' Why?
:'''White Knight:''' I know what side I’m on. ''[Knight proudly states before getting consumed by a blinding white light and screaming in agony]''
:'''Six:'''	''[Grabbing a hold of Dr. Fell's collar Six shouts]'' Do something!
:'''Dr. Fell:''' Once the cycle starts it's impossible to shut down.
:'''Rex:'''	''[Contrary to Dr. Fell's statement, the light fades away and the electricity is subdued after Rex interfaces with a control panel]'' Impossible? Psh, right.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' How did you—-?
:'''Rex:''' Told it to turn off. And it did! Wait, where...where am I?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' ''[Speaking through a monitor]'' Doctor Holiday. Maybe you were right.
:'''Dr. Holiday:'''	Maybe you should start looking for another job.
:'''Bobo:''' ''[Within the processing chamber, Knight takes a few steps forward before collapsing]'' Hey marshmallow! Nice look! ''[Knight looks back up at Bobo with his signature bleached appearance]''
:''[Some time later, in his office White Knight speaks to Six through a monitor.]''
:'''White Knight:''' How’s the training?
:'''Six:'''	Slow.
:'''White Knight:''' Not all you hoped he’d be? ''[Rex and Bobo topple each other in a play fight while Knight continues to monologue in his office]'' Still, who would’ve thought the kinder, gentler approach would do such wonders for our profile. The notion of a cure has gotten Providence funding, and worldwide prestige. The committee's happy. Your new partner may just be the best thing this operation could have asked for. Funny, isn’t it? Because of you I can never leave this chamber. I’m now the only pure human left in the world. And the perfect poster boy to run this operation. I suppose I should thank you.
:'''Six:''' I promised him that we would help uncover his past; find his family.
:'''White Knight:''' Whatever keeps him on his leash. But if he shows the slightest sign of turning into thing again, it's all on you.
:''[Back at the party in the present, Noah is pinned down by Bobo with a bag on his head to Rex’s amusement.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Hoo-hoo-hoo! Oh my—hold him down, I’ll get the camera! ''[Rex runs to his room, and after a quick search he instead finds a long box on a corner shelf]''
:'''Six:''' Happy birthday. ''[Six walks into his room, officially greeting Rex]''
:'''Rex:'''	From you? For me? You gotta be kidding.
:'''Six:''' You, your work. It has made a real difference. I just—-
:'''Rex:'''	Yeah, I know I’m pretty great! But seriously get off the sap train, Six. It’s creeping me out. ''[Rex opens the gift to reveal the blade inside]'' Wow, Six! Thank you!
:'''Six:'''	It’s called a tanto. It’s the ceremonial blade of a samurai warrior.
:'''Rex:'''	Samurai? Awesome.
:'''Six:'''	''[Six unsheathes his own tanto and holds it against Rex’s]'' This is its twin.
:'''Rex:'''	''[Rex removes the cap from his tanto and squints at the symbol etched into the blade]'' Is that...writing?
:'''Six:'''	Bushido symbol of loyalty. It means whether for good or ill, our fates will follow the same path. This one stays with me.
:'''Rex:'''	Think this thing can cut through Holiday’s chocolate cake?
:'''Six:'''	''[Six raises an eyebrow]'' Anything’s possible.
:''[Rex puts the cap back on to the blade and camera cuts to outside of Providence headquarters, panning outward until screen fades to black.]''

===Badlands===
:'''Gatlocke:''' Do you like rules?
:'''Rex:''' Can't say I do.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Gatlocke:''' Feel that? It's quilted. This is the good kind. But I won't be able to really enjoy in ''until I have those nanites!''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Out of the Dark===
:''Note'': Rex's love interest and sweetheart Circe appears in a vision.

===Payback===
:''[In the realm of Abysus]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Humiliated... De-powered... All but destroyed. Hardly the new world I set out to build, is it?
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, a spy has made contact.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Well?
:'''Providence Spy:''' Everything is in place.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' And the boy?
:'''Providence Spy:''' He's here.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' ''[to his loyal followers]'' Soon our greatest enemy will be buried! Providence itself will be destroyed. And we'll have Rex to thank.
:'''Rex:''' Come on! Who's gonna know?
:'''Noah:''' Yeah. It would only be for a minute or two.
:'''Calan:''' You actually want me to let you fly the keep?
:''[Calan sighs]''
:'''Calan:''' Only until the next course change. And nothing fancy.
:'''Rex:''' All right, let's see what this baby can really do! Why, it wasn't me! Seriously!
:'''Both:''' Whoa!
:'''Providence Spies:''' Aah!
:'''White Knight:''' Calan, what's your status?
:'''Calan:''' Came from out of nowhere. We're being boarded. Scramble all jump jets. Mobilize for a counter-offensive.
:'''White Knight:''' This is a coordinated attack. Every major Providence outpost around the globe has been hit.
:'''Six:''' So far they've steered clear of headquarters. I'm on route to the keep now.
:'''Rex:''' Are they really that stupid? Attacking the keep with me on board? This should only take a minute.
:'''Noah:''' Wait up!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Find Rex. It goes without saying &quot;alive&quot; would be ideal. Take the ship.
:'''Providence Spy:''' Some kind of power surge. We're losing control of the helm!
:'''Calan:''' Find out where it's coming from. Doc, if you'll excuse me--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six?
:'''Six:''' Five minutes out. Prepare for an evac. I'm getting you off the ship.
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Noah:''' Again with the Smack Hands? You always open with that move. Change it up a little!
:'''Both:''' Whoa!
:'''Bobo:''' You see what you get? That's what happens when you interrupt my nap-- Bobo gets cranky!
:'''Rex:''' I learned that the hard way, too.
:'''Calan:''' All hands-- We've got intruders on deck four, five, and six. Get'em off our ship!
:'''Rex:''' Go!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Attention, Providence. The ship is ours.
:'''Rex:''' Ugh! Not even close, Van Kleiss!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Lay down your weapons, and your lives will be spared. Continue to resist and nothing survives.
:'''Rex:''' You've made I made some lame-o moves before, Van Kleiss, but this one-- classic.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Seems you may have run out of tricks. Oh, you had to know it would only be a matter of time. I've had a fair amount of time on my hands these days. ''[Restrains Rex with his gauntlet]''
:'''Rex:''' Aaaaah!
:'''Van Kleiss:'''  You took something very precious from me, Rex, and now I'll be returning the favor.
:'''Rex:''' If you want my monkey, you can forget it. 
:''[Van Kleiss starts draining nanites from Rex, causing him to squirm and scream in pain.]''
:''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It might come as a surprise that when you stole the nanites that gave my power, you left some of your behind-- Enough to tell me a few of what makes you tick. :''[Rex tries to summon a build, but nothing happens.]''
:'''Rex:''' Ungh!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:''[Rex gasps]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' You'll find that using your powers will be something of a challenge. The nanites that you so special belong to me now.
:'''Biowulf:''' What shall I do with him, master?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I have everything I need from him. I could care less. Secure the rest of the ship.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Come on! Do you really think throwing me out that hatch is the best way to get rid of me? Wouldn't it be more fun to throw me in a cage, tie me down in front of a laser?
:'''Biowulf:''' No!
:'''Rex:''' Aaaaaaaah! Wh-o-o-o-o-oa!
:'''Noah:''' What is he doing?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' This is no time to fool around, Rex.
:'''Rex:''' Happened to notice that ground coming up on his, doc? If you don't do something fast, I'm about to become part of it! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Ugh!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, are you okay?
:'''Rex:''' I think we may have a problem.
:'''White Knight:''' What do you mean &quot;they have the keep&quot;?! Blow it up!
:'''Six:''' We tried. The remote-destruct sequence has been disabled. Van Kleiss has complete control of it.
:'''White Knight:''' Give me some good news.
:'''Six:''' We know where it's heading. Here.
:'''Biowulf:''' This is the commanding officer. We found him attempting to destroy this ship.
:'''Calan:''' What's your game, Van Kleiss?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, a very good question-- One that depends entirely on what happens next, Captain. It seems my powers have made a slight... change.
:'''Rex:''' Well? They're gone, aren't they? Van Kleiss took all my active nanites.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Not exactly. I found this. Definitely a nanite, but it's unlike anything I've ever seen. Molecular scans seems to indicate it's some kind of control-nanite.
:'''Rex:''' But with nothing to control.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' With a large enough concentration of nanites, we might be able to jump-start it. But even with that, there's no guarantee it would replicate or even give you back the same abilities.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I hate to say it, but this one has me stumped.
:'''Rex:''' Great. Loving this.
:'''White Knight:''' If you're finished with the lost cause, we've got a bigger problem.
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, how is this possible?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' It would seem Rex's nanites have an opposite effect on me. He cured EVOs. Now I create them. Full ahead-- Ramming speed! Once we're through, we'll destroy Providence from the inside out.
:'''White Knight:''' Lock it down! I want hallways cleared and critical sections defended. They will not take this base.
:'''Rex:''' Well? What are we waiting for? Let's go stop them!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, you're in no condition to fight.
:'''Rex:''' Well, what do you expect me to do-- Hide?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Whatever it takes. That nanite inside you might be able to bring you back, but it's going to take me time to figure out how. And that's not something we have a lot of right now.
:'''Rex:''' Wow. Nice outfit.
:'''Noah:''' Got one for you, too. You get to armor up like the rest of us normals.
:'''Rex:''' Come on.
:'''Bobo:''' All right, where to?
:'''Rex:''' South Pacific.
:'''Bobo:''' That's my boy. And here I thought you'd try to pull some hero stunt. Oh, brother.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I want the White Knight. Find where he's hiding and bring him to me.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That should be everything, as long as the offsite backup holds.
:'''Six:''' Don't let it get to that.
:'''Noah:''' This is a strange place for a base.
:'''Rex:''' When I have too many nanites in me, this is where I go to offload.
:'''Bobo:''' Think of it as a nanite porta-potty.
:'''Noah:''' Thanks... For that image, Bobo. So, we just put some of these nanites in you, and we're good to go?
:'''Rex:''' No. They're inactive. Or at least stripped of their programming. Since I can't control them, I just have to hope that whatever this thing is inside me can't.
:'''Noah:''' So... What happens if it can't?
:'''Bobo:''' Let me put it this way-- The last guy who went swimmin' in that soup ended up a 50-foot freak show.
:'''White Knight:''' Listen to me carrefully, Van Kleiss.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I'd rather not.
:'''White Knight:''' Where are they?
:'''Six:''' The inner perimeter has been compromised. They're coming.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Ugh! Ungh!
:''[Skalamander roars]''
:''[Skalamander roars]''
:'''Biowulf:''' Open it.
:'''Rex:''' Okay. Bobo, set the thing to &quot;vent&quot; and go. If this doesn't work, I don't want you getting caught in the blast.
:'''Bobo:''' No.
:'''Noah:''' Forget it. Rex, at least think about his for a sec. What if it wipes your memory? What it turns you into some evil monster?
:'''Rex:''' My friends need me. There's nothing more to think about. Bobo, do it.
:'''Bobo:''' Long odds, pay big.
:''[Bobo groans]''
:'''Six:''' You've overstayed your welcome.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, here's someone who would make a nice addition to our EVO ranks.
:'''Six:''' Go ahead and try. Ugh!
:''[Six groans]''
:'''Rex:''' Trying to do my job for me, Six? Here's a thought-- When your top henchman can't even get rid of someone by throwing him out of a moving plane, time to rethink the help.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' You are determined-- I'll give you that. If it's what you prefer, I'll finish you myself.
:'''Rex:''' Maybe.
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa! Cool!
:'''Bobo:''' See? I told you it would work.
:'''Six:''' This is an unexpected surprise.
:'''Rex:''' Well, by now, you should expect the unexpected from me, Six.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ungh!
:''[Skalamander roars]''
:''[Dr. Holiday grunts]''
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Noah:''' Is that what I think it is?
:'''Bobo:''' Not anymore.
:'''Noah:''' You think there might be more of them?
:'''Bobo:''' Eh... Probably.
:''[Biowulf grunts]''
:''[Biowulf growls]''
:'''Biowulf:''' Aaaaaaah!
:'''White Knight:''' I use that electromagnet to trap stray nanites. You're lucky it's on the lowest setting. Any higher, and it would rip the nanites right out of your body.
:''[Biowulf grunts]''
:'''Biowulf:''' Then why don't you?
:'''White Knight:''' Because then I wouldn't be able to do this.
:'''Skalamander:''' No one can help you. You're all alone now.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Not exactly. We still have my sister.
:''[Skalamander grunting]''
:''[Rex and Van Kleiss grunts]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Aaaaah!
:'''Rex:''' No way!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ungh!
:'''Rex:''' Once again, epic fail. I'll take my nanites back now.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh!
:'''Noah:''' Rex, wait!
:'''Bobo:''' Van Kleiss left behind a few presents.
:'''Rex:''' No time to look everywhere. I'm shutting everything down.
:'''Noah:''' You can do that?
:'''Rex:''' Don't know. Never tried. Anything else? No?
:'''Calan:''' Whew! I never want to do that again. No, sir.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Amazing.
:'''Rex:''' Why, thank you.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I was talking about the nanites. That was a risky move, Rex, but it worked. As far as I can tell, you're back to your old self.
:'''Rex:''' I don't know. Something feels different. That new build-- I think I can do even more. It's like I can see the blueprints. I just need to figure out how to put it all together.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' White Knight in person. Never thought I'd see the day.
:'''White Knight:''' Well, don't get used to it. We found all the explosives. The base and the keep will need extensive repairs. This was not our finest hour.
:'''Rex:''' What are you talking about? We kicked butt! So what if Van Kleiss is back and more powerful than ever? So am I! If he wants a nanite war, let him bring it!
:''[White Knight laughs]''
:'''White Knight:''' It's good to have your back, Rex.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You know, I think he actually means it.
:'''Rex:''' Sure he does. So, tell me something, guys-- What's next?

==Season Two (2011)==
===Rampage===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' I'll give you the recap. Thanks to these microscopic machines called nanites, I can build cool gear out of my body. I'm what's called an EVO. But most evo's aren't lucky like me. They usually look like this. ''[laughing]'' I know what you're thinking. And they smell bad, too. There's one other thing I can do that makes me even more special. Some EVOs, I can cure. That's why I work for Providence. We're the people you call when an evo is tearing up your lawn or attacking a city. And the worst of them is this guy... Van Kleiss. The last time we fought, things got a little out of hand. I'll admit it... we pretty much got our tails handed to us. He steals the key, wrecks headquarters, hijacks my nanite to get back the powers I took away from him. And now he can actually make people into EVOs. Then, to top it off, he has his dog boy Biowulf throw me, overboard at 6,000 feet. Not that anyone's keeping score. Sure, Van Kleiss may be back, but so am I. So what if he can make EVOs? I can still cure them. He may have new powers, but guess what... I do, too. Ever since my powers came back, I've got the ability to make amazing new machines. Now I just have to figure out how to build more.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' If you're trying to check up on me, Six, the answer's still a big fat... ''[imitates buzzer]'' I can't figure out how to make this new build.
:'''Six:''' It might take some time, but you'll get it.
:'''Rex:''' And meanwhile, Van Kleiss is out there doing who knows what. I wish they'd hurry up and get the H.Q. Rebuilt. You're not still living out of your jump jet like some ninja hobo, are you?
:'''Six:''' My temporary accommodations are perfectly adequate.
:'''Rex:''' Yep. Still living in the jet. ''[Groans]'' I hate being kicked out of our house. Although, as long as they're building stuff, I need a hot tub.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;I was wondering when you and your hair would show up again, Van Kleiss.&quot;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Back to your old self again, I see. And how are those new abilities developing?&quot;
:'''Rex:''' Just fine. Thanks for asking.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Don't you have anything better to do with your life then come after me all the time?&quot;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' &quot;Funny you should ask.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Doc? How are those biometrics looking now?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Give it a try.
:'''Rex:''' Ah, yeah! It's about time! Machines work. I just hope the important part does.
:'''Noah:''' What just happened?
:'''Rex:''' Do you remember anything?
:'''Noah:''' It all kind of hazy. I mostly remember the feeling of... Fun. And I remember you punching me in the face.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah. Sorry about that. I thought you were trying to eat me. Come on. We've got a rat to catch. Why so happy? Is this the part where breach shows up and rescues you?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Actually, no. This is the part where she takes your inadequately guarded fuel core.
:'''Six:''' Six to post, what's your status? Six to post.
:'''Rex:''' Another decoy?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I should share some of the credit with your friend over here. He played the part to perfection.
:'''Noah:''' Gee, thanks.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, this would be the part where Breach shows up.
:'''Noah:''' I can't believe I did all this. Sounds like I had the time of my life.
:'''Rex:''' ''[laughing]'' It almost became your life. Sorry about that.
:'''Noah:''' Are you kidding? Just knowing I was a rampaging evo is cool. I wish I could have remembered at least some of it.
:'''Rex:''' It's probably all over the news if you want a replay... At least until you stepped on the news van.
:'''Noah:''' Well... ''[Exhales sharply]'' Guess it's back to quadratic equations.
:'''Rex:''' I have no idea what those are. I've got somewhere I need to be. See you later. I know. I'm not supposed to be here. I don't care if it's a construction zone. I'm moving back.
:'''Six:''' It's all right. Turns out you're not the only one who feels that way. You'll get used to the cold showers. Food, you're on your own. From the top?
:'''Rex:''' From the top.
:'''Six:''' What were you trying to build, anyway?
:'''Rex:''' A water jet. Oh, by the way, I need a new cellphone.
:'''Six:''' Yes?
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' It's after my glasses again.
:'''Six:''' Glasses?
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' This time I am serious. Now, when are you going to send someone out here?
:'''Six:''' Ma'am, I'm...
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' Do you even work for Providence?
:'''Six:''' Yes, I work for Providence.
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' What kind of a flimflam outfit is this?
:'''Six:''' How did you get this number?

===Wasteland===
===Tough Love===

===The Lost Weekend===
:'''Kenwyn:''' What did you to Skwydd?
:'''Mouse:''' Just shedding a light light on how dangerous his kind can be.
:'''Rex:''' By juicing his powers? What were you thinking?
:'''Mouse:''' Most inorganic material explodes when given that kind of molecular jolt, but not not nanites. They convert the energy into power that amplifies an E.V.O.'s abilities to tremendously uncontrollable levels.

===Star-Crossed===

===Alliance===
:'''Rex:''' ''[to himself]'' And he brought his Pack flunkies. Biowulf, Skalamander, Breach. Circe? Gotta hurry. Their headed straight for... someplace else. Gonna find out where.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Holiday:''' Rex why aren't you fixing that shield regulator?
:'''Rex:''' Hint. You may remember him from such schemes as destroying Providence headquarters, and trying to take over the entire Earth.
:'''Holiday:''' Van Kliess, in there? You're right. You should investigate after you fix the shield.
:'''Rex:''' Then it might be too late.
:'''Holiday:''' She's there, isn't she?
:'''Rex:''' Who? Breach? Yeah, but...
:'''Holiday:''' A quick recon and that's it.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Intriguing. An entire urban branch of EVO. development.
:'''Biowulf:''' This place is a waste of our time.
:'''Circe:''' Van Kleiss knows what he's doing. It's not your place to question.
:'''Biowulf:''' Question?! You dare accuse me of disloyalty?!
:'''Circe:''' Sorry. Get a grip!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' You're right, you know. We should be down there with him. What is he up to anyway?
:'''Biowulf:''' I do not know.
:'''Circe:''' You don't know? I thought he trusted you with everything.
:'''Biowulf:''' Of course he does! He just--
:'''Rex:''' Hey! Easy on the stealth suit, which apparently, isn't so stealthy.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''NoFace:''' Invaders have come before. They brought only pain.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' It is a pain we both share. The same Providence outsides attacked my lands, destroyed my army.
:'''NoFace:''' There was one who tormented us, humiliated us. The grower of machines.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ah, Rex. Another thorn we share. My proposal is simple: You control a formidable legion. I, in turn, can provide the escape and the vengeance you seek. I can be your liberator. You can be my general. Together we will crush our enemies, starting with the one you hate most. Now are we--
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, I have a report.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' ''[irritated]'' This is a private conversation. Can't you handle the sightest detail without bothering me?
:'''Biowulf:''' Of course, Master. It was nothing.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Here comes the moment when our brave hero sweeps the girl of her feet! Literally!
:'''Biowulf:''' Don't let him.
:'''Circe:''' Hey! Let--
:'''Rex:''' ''[flies off with Circe in his arms]''' See you around, henchie!
:'''Biowulf:''' ''[to Skalamander]''  Follow them.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' Down, now!
:'''Rex:''' Not till we hear each other out!
:'''Circe:''' Sure! I'll go first. 
:''[Breaks the Bogie Pack with a hypersonic burst, causing them to fall]''
:'''Rex:''' Oh, great. Way to go, Circe.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' ''[to himself]'' Our hero pursues the girl of his dreams, heedless of her attempts to break his heart... along with the rest of him. Circe, just one minute, okay? Look-No powers!
:'''Circe:''' One minute! But if this is about leaving the Pack--
:'''Rex:''' Please. I'm way past that. There are bigger things going here than who you hang out with.
:'''Circe:''' Fifty seconds!
:'''Rex:''' I wasn't sent here to spy on you. I'm here to stop these things from ever getting out.
:'''Circe:''' Forty! Why are you telling me this? You know who I am!
:'''Rex:''' You've seen the things that live here. Whatever deal you think Van Kleiss is making, it's going to turn out bad for everyone.
:'''Circe:''' Thirty seconds!
:'''Rex:''' I do know who you are, Circe. Just for once think for yourself. Maybe your perfect leader could actually be wrong, maybe even a bit crazy, nuts, certifiably insane!
: '''Circe:''' Shut up! Twenty! Talk about blinded. Did you ever wonder why Van Kleiss is so interested in you?
:'''Rex:''' Oh, I don't know. Maybe he wants me dead?
:'''Circe:''' Not anymore. Something has changed, Rex. Ever since you got your powers back, I hear him talking. Saying you have something that's the key to everything. For whatever reason, he needs you alive. I know it, Rex. He'd never let you be killed.
:'''Rex:''' Never, huh?
:'''Circe:''' Time's up! 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Now this looks like a party.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Rex, you never cease to amaze me.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''No-Face:''' Defiler! Give him to us!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now do you believe I can deliver what I say? Will yoh agree to my leadership?
:'''No-Face:''' We agree to it! Give him to us! Now! Now! Now!
:'''Circe:''' ''[very shocked]''' Van Kleiss, I didn't bring Rex here so that you could-- He'll kill him!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Never forget how I found you, Circe. What you were... before. He's yours. 
:''[Tears well up in Circe's eyes; thoroughly horrified that her master would calmly allow Rex's life to be put at risk]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' ''[weakly]''' Is this what you wanted? 
:''[Collapses from his inquiries, causing Circe to open her eyes]''
:'''Circe''' ''[tearful, pleading]'': Stop this! Please! You need him alive!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Alive, yes. Heart pumping, lungs breathing, but his mind? The less there's left of that, the better. Circe, I warn you: Lift so much as a finger to help him, and you're finished!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' You, Biowulf, even me. We're all just means to an end for him. He doesn't really care for any of us.
:'''Rex:''' So you finally figured that out. Better late than never, I guess.
:'''Circe:''' It's not too late! Not if I have anything to say about it!
:''[Extends her fleshly and grotesque EVOs mouth]''
:'''Bobo:''' Whoa! Whoa! There are some of us who might not like the sound of whatever you're about to do!
:'''Circe:''' I'll adjust the frequency to exclude friendly EVOs.
:'''Bobo:''' Does that include me?
:'''Circe:''' For now. 
:''[Uses her melodious, hypnotic singing to call back the EVOs escaping]''
:'''Rex:''' I thought you said you could filter it.
:'''Circe:''' It's not an exact science. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' Van Kleiss.
:'''Rex:''' Breach'll get him out... eventually. But right now he's in there, you're out here. You don't have a better opportunity to consider your options.
:''[Notice the two of them holding hands and let go, blushing]''
:'''Bobo:''' What is it stealing from our own people that's so dang satisfying?
:'''Circe:''' You forget to remove the tracker. I'm not going to Providence.
:'''Rex:''' Doesn't matter where you go. All that matters is that you want to go there. That said. I hear Hong Kong's nice this time of year.

===Robo Bobo===
===Divide By Six===
:'''One''': ''[Speaking through Rex]'' Six.
:'''Six''': One?
:'''One''': You left this place, quit life as a mercenary and so rarely returned to visit.
:'''Six''': I did what I felt was right, I never meant to dishonor.
:'''One''': So rarely, that I never had time to tell you how proud you've made me.
:'''Six''': ''[Takes off his glasses for the first time in the series]'' We're going to help you. We're going to take you home.
:'''One''': But Six, I  am home. ''[Rex falls unconscious while One's body starts changing. Eventually his body dissolves and fertilizes the entire island to its former splendor]''
: '''Six:''' He's still One. He's just one with everything.
===Mixed Signals===
: '''Rex:''' Whoa, big guy! Someone needs to ease off on the cheeseburgers.
: '''Six:''' Skip the insults. Start the containment.
: '''Rex:''' Like its feelings are going to get hurt. One bad and ugly going down. What?
: '''Six:''' Rex? Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Cool!
: '''Six:''' You want to explain this?
: '''Rex:''' I don't know. It's like some weird vision of this thing filled my head, then built itself out of me. Maybe the vision came from Blobbo. Maybe it's trying to talk to me. Come on, big boy. Send me some more pictures. What's on your mind?
: '''Six:''' Groceries. That's what's on its mind.
: '''Rex:''' I'm skipping. I'm over it. That vision must have been a fluke.
: '''Six:''' All right, then. We're going with a two-prong attack. Use caution. This kind of EVO might be a splitter. Rex! Snap out of it!
: '''Rex:''' Whoa! Whoa! Ha! I wasn't supposed to do that, right?
: '''Six:''' Rex, I want you back at HQ.
: '''Rex:''' But I feel okay now. And we've got, um-- Two blobs to put down.
: '''Six:''' Now!
: '''Holiday:''' No trace of any recent electrochemical or DNA abnormalities. Everything reads normal.
: '''Rex:''' But it's like the visions were being transmitted, and I was seeing it from a nanite point of view.
: '''Holiday:''' I can't track it, Rex. There's no sign of signal displacement or a nano disturbance. Maybe we should consider the possibility that this is psychological.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Pizza.
: '''Holiday:''' I think he's having another vision.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Of lunch?
: '''Rex:''' With pineapple and salmon.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Blech! He is nuts.
: '''Holiday:''' Aside from a strange choice in pizza toppings, all readings are normal. I can't explain it.
: '''Rex:''' Well, if my nanites are trying to get me to build something, maybe we should give them what they want.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Whatever it is, I'm not eating it. Is that my electric toothbrush?
: '''Rex:''' It better not be the one I've been using.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Oh.
: '''Rex:''' This is what I'm seeing in my head. As stupid as it looks. It's like someone or something is sending me instructions to build some big device.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Or build a pizza with pineapple and salmon.
: '''Rex:''' Okay. I'm not sure about that vision.
: '''Holiday:''' Is that my hairdryer?
: '''Rex:''' I just need to figure out what it does. Maybe it's a time machine. Or-- Or alien technology!
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Maybe it's just a big pile of junk. Or a way to order a really awful pizza.
: '''Contraption Voice:''' Target acquired.
: '''Holiday:''' Rex!
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Wake up!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Provindece Soldier #1:''' Hey, where do you think you're going? We've got a security breach. Front floor.
: '''Providence Soldier #2:''' Lockdown protocols enabled. All hands report to duty station. Security speed, take position.
: '''Rex:''' Sorry, guys. I might be a little... late.
: '''Caesar:''' Case compression. Release.
: '''Rex:''' Figures I'd build a machine with a serious attitude problem.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[taking off his helmet and turns to Rex]'' Rex, is that you?
: '''Rex:''' Who’s asking?
: '''Caesar:''' It’s me, Caesar, your brother! Mijo! ''[Hugs Rex]'' You're alive and... older. ''[Rex is dumbfounded]'' Uh. Atomic clock was right... ''[spanish accent]'' Es una problema grande.
: '''Rex:''' Uh, yeah. ''[Pushes Caesar]'' It is a big problem.
: '''Caesar:''' What is this place? Who are you people? ''[to Rex]'' I'm getting you out of here!
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Sorry, amigo. Put your hands up. Or don't. I got a clear shot either way.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[is looking at Bobo]'' A talking chimp?
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Don't bother. I've heard all the jokes.
: '''Caesar:''' Have they hurt you? Are you okay? Stand aside.
: '''Rex:''' Hello? Do I get a say in this?
: '''Holiday:''' If you're part of some elaborate plan to kidnap Rex, then you failed.
: '''Caesar:''' Listen, bonita, you don't wanna make me use this.
: '''Rex:''' ''[gets in between them]'' Enough! Normally around here when someone barges in talking crazy, they get around into the deck plates by my giant fists. But you seem legit. I'm going with him.
: '''Holiday:''' Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Okay, brother. Lead the way. So if you are my brother, where have you been all this time?
: '''Caesar:''' I'll explain later when we're safe.
: '''Rex:''' Uh, this is Providence. We are safe. Usually.
: '''Caesar:''' Providence? Never heard of it. To be honest, the last five years has been a bit of a blur.
: '''Rex:''' I want to believe you, but I'm gonna need some proof.
: '''Caesar:''' Your name is Rex Salazar. Our parents are Violetta and Raphael. The last time I saw you was at the Applied Nanite Research Lab in Abysus; right before those fools triggered a replication cycle.
: '''Rex:''' And I have total amnesia so, for all I know, that could be completely bogus.
: '''Caesar:''' There's a scar on the back of your left knee you got when you were seven, riding the gantry arm in the reactor annex.
: '''Rex:''' Hmm. I always wondered how I got that.
:''[they go out and Rex notices Caesar Salazar's pod laboratory]''
: '''Rex:''' Whoa. Nice wheels.
: '''Six:''' ''[Comes out and unsheathed his swords]'' Don't even think about it.
: ''[Caesar is about to attack but Rex stops him]''
: '''Rex:''' It's okay. Six isn't going to hurt you. Right, Six? You're comming in a little late on this, but, uh, this is Caesar, my brother, and he wants to get me out of here. So, let's just let my brother have his way and see where this all goes. Wherever you plan on going, they're going to follow us. You know that, right?
: '''Caesar:''' They can try.
: '''Rex:''' I don't know. Providence ship are pretty fast.
: '''Six:''' Track Rex's bio signature and find out who that guy really is.
: '''Rex:''' You ain't kidding. This thing moves fast. A-are we in the arctic?
: '''Caesar:''' How do you think I got to your location so quickly once the locator signaled me?
: '''Rex:''' Locator? You sent me the schematics to build that thing? It tried to crush me like a bug!
: '''Caesar:''' Sorry, mijo. I wasn't really trying to hurt. ''[scans Rex's body]'' I was looking for what's hiding inside of you. ''[showing Rex the result]'' The Omega One Nanite.
: '''Rex:''' That thing? Holiday discovered it before. We had no idea what it was.
: '''Caesar:''' I sent signal instructions for the Omega One to track and contain. But since the nanite has integrated into your DNA, you became the conduit for building the machine. What I don't get is how the Omega One got inside of you. Rylander was supposed to have that under lock and key.
: '''Rex:''' Rylander? He's the one who put it inside me.
: '''Caesar:''' Why would he do a thing like that? I'm really gonna have to let old fool have it when I see him.
: '''Rex:''' Not possible-- Courtesy of Van Kleiss.
: '''Caesar:''' Van Kleiss?! What does that third-rate lab hack have to do with this?
: '''Rex:''' What? I guess I’m not the only one who needs an update. Where have you been?
: '''Caesar:''' It's a long story-- actually, short by my clock. A splinter group had formed at the lab. They had other ideas about how the nanites would be used. We tried to stop them, and you were hurt. The only way to save your life was an infusion of nanites. It was risky, but it worked. We thought that'd be enough to stop the others, make them see the right path. But we were wrong. Mom and Dad were in the reactor. As for me, I managed to escape in my lab. But the shock wave, the same shock wave that probably blanked your memory.... also interfered with engine that powers this pod. I was stuck in sub-light drive.
: '''Rex:''' How long?
: '''Caesar:''' Fifteen minutes. That's how long it took me to reboot the system. But at the speed I was going, it was 5 years of your time. I knew there was an accident, but I had no idea how bad. My nanite sensors were off the charts. My 1st priority was to insure the OM-1 was safe. That was our promise. And here we are. So, what have I missed these past five years?
: '''Rex:''' Providence? We need to talk. They can wait.
: '''Caesar:''' So let me understand, there are EVOs and Van Kleiss claimed as their leader?
: '''Rex:''' Well, not for all of them, yet. I want to know about me, about our parents.
: '''Caesar:''' They were scientists. We lived all over the world. Things settled down when you came along. That was in Geneva.
: '''Rex:''' Wait a second. Are you saying I'm Swiss?
: ''Caesar:'' Not really. Mother was born in Mexico City. Father in Buenos Aires.
: '''Rex:''' And they're really... gone? ''[Caesar slowly nods sadly]''
: '''Rex:''' Um, where exactly did this ship take us?
: '''Caesar:''' What do you know?We're back at the original lab site.
: '''Rex:''' You mean the one in Abysus?
: '''Caesar:''' Is that a problem?
: '''Rex:''' I'd say just a small one. We should go, like now.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[typing]'' Hmm... Must be low on charge.  ''[walks out the door]'' We may be stuck, but on the bright side, I can take a look at some of these variegated organisms. ''[goes out]''
: '''Rex:''' Caesar! Wait!
: ''[outside and observing the EVOs]''
: '''Caesar:''' Fascinating. We theorized mutations might occur but never anything this random.
: ''[Rex hits the EVO before they got near Caesar]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Sorry, bro, but these guys--
: ''[Rex hits another EVO]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Usually don't sit still for questions.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[seeing Rex's new build]'' Hmm... That's new.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Guess I've learned a--
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' A few tricks. But they still won't be enough if Van Kleiss shows up with all his goons. Six!
: '''Six:'''We're locked onto you. The keep is already on its way.
: '''Rex:''' Your ship may be out of juice, but I'm not. Hop on. I can get us out of here.
: '''Caesar:''' I won't leave my lab, and you definitely don't want Van Kleiss getting his hands on some of the things in here. I'll try to reroute the capacitors to an alternate power source.
: '''Caesar:''' Oh, you wanna see a photo of you, me, and papi? Maybe later.
: '''Rex:''' You're a little off, aren't you, Caesar? 
: '''Biowulf:''' What was that machine it flew off with?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' A laboratory. One I thought I'd never see again. It seems an old friend has returned-Caesar.
: '''Rex:''' Providence isn't so bad now, eh, hermano?
: '''Caesar:''' Is this a Grinnell? They always made good consoles, except for the random power surges.
: '''Six:''' Well?
: '''Rex:''' Everything's cool. He's a little kooky, but I'm pretty sure he's my brother.
: '''Six:''' Glad to hear it. Now I need you back. We still have some unfinished business.
: '''Rex:''' Got to get back to work.
: '''Caesar:''' My little brother, the hero. I remember when you just wanted to be a musician.
: '''Rex:''' Guitar? No, wait drums.
: '''Caesar:''' Accordion.
: '''Rex:''' You got to be kidding me!
: '''Six:''' As I recall, you started it.
: '''Rex:''' Huh?
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Six:''' The EVO is dividing faster than we can contain it. The city is being evacuated.
: '''Caesar:''' Hmm. Excuse me, admiral. I need you to take me down there immediately. Afraid I'll have to insist.
: '''Six:''' Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Are you crazy?!
: '''Caesar:''' Depends on who you ask. I had something in my lab that I thought could help.
: '''Six:''' Help? You're not even supposed to be outside the keep.
: '''Rex:''' WHOO-HOO! Way to go, bro! First day on the job, and you already got a save!
: '''Six:''' Job?
: '''Rex:''' Oh, come on, admit it, Six. He just saved our chicharrones.
: ''[Caesar laughs]''
: '''Rex:''' What? What's so funny?
: '''Caesar:''' You always make me laugh when you try to speak Spanish.
: '''Holiday:''' We've pulled his records, and I've confirmes his DNA. It seems Rex really does have a brother.
: '''White Knight:''' If everything I've read about him is true, he could be an incredible asset to Providence.
: '''Six:''' Or a major liability.
: '''White Knight:''' All the more reason to keep him with us. Give him whatever he needs.
: '''Holiday:''' White's right, Six. He knows more about nanites than anyone on the planet. He helped invent them.
: '''Six:''' My point exactly. He's settling in?
: '''Rex:''' I guess so. Caesar's a little strange. Hard to believe he's actually my brother.
: '''Six:''' I'm happy for you, Rex. You always said you wanted to find your family.
: '''Rex:''' Thanks, but... You know that? I already did. Caesar may be my brother, but you, Holiday, Bobo, you're who I have a connection with.
: '''Bobo:''' Aww, now, see, I'm getting all misty.
: '''Caesar:''' There you are. Hmm. Nice view. Say, mijo, you think your cafeteria could whip up a pizza with pineapple and salmon? I've been craving one for days.
: '''Bobo:''' Connection, huh?

===Outpost===
:'''Valentina:''' Ugh! We were returning them to their natural habitat! What Providence does is wrong and against the natural order of things! You're a traitor to your own kind.
:'''Rex:''' That's creature's job is to ''exterminate'' mankind! It wanted to kill you!

===Haunted===
===Moonlighting===
===Without a Paddle===

===Written in Sand===
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, I need an uptade.
:'''Rex''': I'm right at the edge. Anything still alive in there is trying to get away from the sandstorm.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': It's not the storm they're running from. The nanites inside them are forcing the animals away. It's creating a kind of nanite-free zone.
:'''Rex''': Ha! We should call White Knight. Maybe he'll move here and leave us all alone.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': It's no laughing matter, Rex. It could be the most significant development since the original nanite event.
:'''Rex''': Yeah, yeah. Possible cures save the world-- Got it. I'll check it out.
:'''Bobo''': Hey, doc. You may wanna get a load of this over here.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Negative. The storm is moving in too fast. Just place a sensor and pack it in.
:'''Rex''': Hey. No. It couldn't be. Rex to base. We got trouble of the egomaniacal EVO kind.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Van Kleiss is here? Why am I not surprised?
:'''Rex''': I think the real question is, if everything else is in such a race to get out, why is he going on? 
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, wait.
:'''Rex''': Don't worry, doc. It's me. What could possibly happen?
:'''Skalamander''': RARGH! PTUH! They're nothing but dirt.
:'''Biowulf''': My senses-- Useless in all this sand.
:'''Van Kleiss''': This phenomenon deserves my personal attention. What we seek is nearby. I can feel it pushing against me.
:'''Rex''': ''[Rex emerges from the sand storm]'' Yeah?
:''[Skalamander grunts]''
:'''Rex''': ''[Rex kicks Skalamander]'' How about kicking against you, too?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Rex! You're not welcome here.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': Now, that hurt my feelings!
:''[Rex groaning]''
:''[Skalamander pins him to the sand, causing him to groan in pain]''
:''[Skalamander laughs]''
:'''Rex''': Aaah! Whoa!
:'''Van Kleiss''': If I never see your face again, It will be too soon!
:'''Rex''': Yeah? The feeling's-- Whoa! Mutual!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex? Rex, do you read me?
:''[Bobo coughing]''
:'''Bobo''': Okay, we gotta get outta here. I got sand in places I didn't even know I had places.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, if you can hear me, we're retreating to the safe zone. Rendezvous with us there.
:'''Rex''': AAAAH! WHOA-OHHHHHHH!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex coughs]''
:'''Rex''': Okay, Kleiss-- Go time! No EVO allies, just you and-- Whoa! Uh, sorry, buddy. Didn't mean to bring you along for the ride.
:'''Van Kleiss''': I don't need my EVO allies, when I can simply make more.
:'''Rex''': Don't get me wrong-- I love punching stuff. But anything you can do, I can undo better! We can do this all day. Or you can just spill it.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': Why are you causing this nanite-free zone?
:'''Van Kleiss''': How convenient it must be to make me the root of all evil. I'm not causing it. I've come to discover the source and destroy it.
:'''Rex''': This could be the cure to nanites.
:'''Van Kleiss''': And I live off nanites. What Providence calls a cure, I call death.
:'''Rex''': Really? Haven't we moved past this?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Huh?
:''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
:''[After Van Kleiss creates a scorpion EVO to attack Rex, it attacks him instead.]''
:'''Rex''': That is the funniest thing I have ever seen! Hang on-- I got to get this on video. ''[Takes out cell phone and starts recording Van Kleiss dodging the scorpion EVO.]''
:''[Van Kleiss panting]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Something's wrong. I should be controlling this creature.
:'''Rex''': Stinks to be you. Huh? You ruined my shot!
:'''Van Kleiss''': I believe we've found something more interesting.
:'''Rex''': You like to point out the obvious, don't you?
:'''Bobo''': Don't get me wrong-- I love the kid, but if we don't pull stakes now, we'll be combing dust outta all sorts of places for years.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Too late. Hold on to everything that's not tied down. This is going to be a bumpy... ride.
:'''Six''': Holiday? I trust you're all right?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': I'm fine, Six. But Rex is still out there-- With Van Kleiss. I can't reach him.
:'''Six''': We'll prep a rescue party. Prepare to come aboard.
:'''Rex''': Hey!
:'''Van Kleiss''': This is not simply a nanite-free zone. Something is stealing the nanites from our bodies. If we linger here too long, we may both find ourselves defenseless against the other.
:'''Rex''': Well, then, we'd better blow this joint. And when I say &quot;we&quot; I mean &quot;me&quot;.
:''[Rex tries to escape and fails]''
:'''Rex''': AAAAAAAAH!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': If either of us is to escape this place, we will have to work together.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': What exactly are you suggesting?
:'''Van Kleiss''': A temporary truce.
:'''Rex''': An extremely temporary truce.
:'''Van Kleiss''': We'll work our way to the center of the nanite storm.
:'''Rex''': No, we work our way out of the nanite storm and get Providence in here to figure out what's happening.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Providence? They can't be trusted.
:'''Rex''': Them? Didn't you try to take over New York? And Europe? And the world?
:'''Van Kleiss''': You need to listen to me, Rex. Without a powers, you're nothing but a child.
:'''Rex''': Oh, yeah? Truce over! Okay. This is awkward. Hey, is it just me, or are you getting really dust?
:'''Van Kleiss''': It's happening faster than I thought.
:'''Rex''': What's happening faster? If you know something, you'd better spit it out, or-- Whoa! It all looks fossilized. Like it's made completely out of... sand.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Not only are there no nanites here, this is pure silicone. There are no other elements-- No carbon, calcium, hydrogen. It appears that this zone not only destroys nanites, but is--
:'''Rex''': Squeezing the life from the Earth. This isn't sand. This is me!
:''[Rex whimpering]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': These glyphs-- There's something familiar about them. Sumatran? Mesopotamian?
:'''Rex''': Less geeking, more escaping!
:'''Van Kleiss''': We need to find the epicenter of this maze. These glyphs may hold the answer.
:'''Rex''': Only if one says &quot;exit sign.&quot;
:'''Van Kleiss''': No need to panic, Rex. We have at least twenty minutes before fossilization-- Give or take.
:'''Rex''': &quot;Don't panic&quot;-- Says the guy who used to be dirt.
:''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
:'''Rex''': We're turning into walking litter boxes, and you're checking out caveman graffiti? No wonder I'm always kicking your butt.
:'''Van Kleiss''': You don't have an investigative bone in your body, do you? So strongheaded-- Just like your mother. ''[Rex is silent]'' No, you don't like that, do you-- That I know more about you than you do?
:'''Rex''': Skip the head games. Isn't exactly a good time.
:'''Van Kleiss''': No, but perhaps it is time for some truth. We may perish down here, Rex. Ask me anything you want about the past, and I'll answer it.
:'''Rex''': ''[looks at his own slowly fossilizing body]'' Sell it somewhere else. I'm not buying.
:''[walks away]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Oh, so the great and powerful Providence has finally come through on their promise to help you remember your past.
:'''Rex''': Something better-- Someone who was actually there at the Nanite Event.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Aha. Your brother, Caesar.
:''[Van Kleiss chuckles evilly]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': I've been following you both very closely since his... miraculous reappearance. Even if you don't want to hear what I have to say, this one's for free. Do not place your trust in Caesar. He's not the man you believe him to be.
:'''Rex''': ''[creates his BFS and holds it at Van Kleiss' throat]'' What are you getting at?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Oh, no, no. That's not how this works. It isn't my turn. Quid pro quo, Rex. If you want to know more-- Why don't we start with something simple? Rylander's Omega Nanite. I know it's inside you.
:'''White Knight''': Status uptade?
:'''Six''': Still no fix on Rex. Scanners can't cut through the storm, so we're moving in to stage a recon.
:'''White Knight''': I will not risk everyone on board that ship for one agent. Not even that agent.
:''[Holiday subtly ends the call. Then to Six]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Whoops. Guess the satellite feed went down. Nasty sand.
:''[Six smirks]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Caesar? Wanted you to know we haven’t found him yet.
:'''Caesar''': Found who?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex.
:'''Caesar''': Right. Ah. Sorry. That was, uh, fifteen minutes ago. I've done about five hundred task since then. Try calibrating the keep's sensors to search for traces of Selenium. It's something Rex naturally gives off, like dandruff.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': I-- Really? Hmm. Okay, thanks.
:'''Van Kleiss''': So what you're saying is, the motor runs off of gravity and the only exhausts are atoms of selenium.
:'''Rex''': Now you. Squid Pro... Whatever. The nanites, the Event. What started all this?
:'''Van Kleiss''': He didn't tell you? I'm not surprised. It was Caesar.
:''[Rex pushes Van Kleiss to nearest wall and take out his BFS once again]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Wasteful, Rex.
:'''Rex''': You're lying!
:'''Van Kleiss''': Hardly. Your brother is responsible for the most significant catastrophe in human history. You have to admit that as brilliant as Caesar is, he's... not quite right. Am I telling you something that you haven't already noticed?
:''[Rex groans]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': HAAAH!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Van Kleiss coughing]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': You seem to have awoken some sort of defense mechanism.
:'''Rex''': What are they defending? Rocks?
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Before we're totally devoid of nanites, we need to end this now-- Together.
:'''Rex''': Back to back!
:'''Van Kleiss''': What?
:'''Rex''': Haven't you ever read a comic book? Back to back! No way. These markings-- They're not hieroglyphics. They're circuit boards. This whole cave, this valley-- It's one giant circuit board. These are data conduits-- Ms. Hubs!
:'''Van Kleiss''': You're right. These spirals are solid-state storage-- The standard design for a firewall in a CPU.
:'''Rex''': Did you just say I'm right? Now that I know what we're dealing with, it's a simple matter of-- Hacking in. This is malo-- Muy malo. Van Kleiss, meet the psycho computer who calls herself--
:'''Van Kleiss''': Zag-RS?
:'''Rex''': How do you know that? ''[Zag-RS notices them and attacks them]'' You know Zag-RS? How?
:'''Van Kleiss''': She was designed as a decontamination program at the original nanite laboratory. Her task was to destroy any rogue nanites that escaped from the holding tanks.
:'''Rex''': She did a great job. Whoever designed her should be taken out and beaten with a tendril.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Caesar designed her.
:'''Rex''': I'm gonna have to have a chat with my brother when this is over.
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Focus, you fool. If we're to survive this, we have to use whatever nanites we have left to shut her down.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': No problemo! Ah, come on! Stay up! Show off!
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': Well, this bites.
:''[Rex straining]''
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': Didn't I leave you in orbit? Shouldn't you have burned up in re-entry or something?
:'''Zag-RS''': Re-entry resulted in a hard desert landing. This unit faced complete system failure. Salvation came from integration with the host space station power cell, where new initiatives were established.
:'''Rex''': Turning the world into a sandbox?
:'''Zag-RS''': Correct. The prevention of organic infection by elimination of organic matter and securing the Earth core system. Soon, this world will function without flaw.
:'''Rex''': Van Kleiss! Change of plan! While, I've got Zaggy occupied, you go and warn Providence before it's too late!
:'''Van Kleiss''': There's no time. Her strength is growing exponentially. To achieve victory, you must trust me.
:'''Rex''': Trust you?! That's comedy gold! Even if I was that big of a doof, neither one of us had enough power to fight back!
:'''Van Kleiss''': That's not entirely true.
:'''Rex''': Huh?
:'''Van Kleiss''': I've not been completely honest with you.
:'''Rex''': Stunned-- Really.
:'''Van Kleiss''': The Omega Nanite within you has a self-replicating program. You can create your own nanites.
:'''Rex''': What?! Why didn't you tell me!
:'''Van Kleiss''': A calculated emission.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': No way.
:'''Van Kleiss''': There-- That is the heart of Zag-RS. Strike while you can!
:'''Rex''': Oh, yeah! Now we're talking! Normally, I don't fight girls, but this time I'll make... A big... giant... robot exception!
:'''Dr. Holiday''': I found him, Six-- twenty kilometers northeast. There's a huge spike in trace selenium.
:'''Six''': Charge all weapons.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': The storm's starting to break. But please don't crash.
:'''Rex''': YAAAH!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': That's not fair! It worked in the movie!
:''[Rex whimpers]''
:''[Rex groaning]''
:'''Rex''': AAAH!
:'''Zag-RS''': You have miscalculated, human. The more nanites you replicate, the more energy you supply me. 7.5 seconds until I overtake your production.
:''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
:'''Zag-RS''': 4.3 seconds.
:'''Van Kleiss''': AAAAAAAAAH!
:'''Rex''': YAAAAAAH! One psycho robot down, one supervillain to chicken! Finally!
:'''Bobo''': What, you never heard the term &quot;fashionably late&quot;?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Your nanite-replicating function seems to be working well. Most of Zag-RS' alterations have been expunged.
:'''Rex''': Meaning... What?
:'''Bobo''': You ain't gonna wash away at high tide.
:'''Caesar''': This is my design.
:'''Rex''': Great-- My brother created Zag-RS.
:'''Caesar''': Evidently. Though her evolution into some sort of sentient nanite-slayer is most curious.
:'''Six''': Curious?
:'''Rex''': What about what Van Kleiss said?
:'''Caesar''': You mean I'm to blame for the original nanite event? Why don't we ask her? Wait! Interface protocols. Code designate Zag-RS. Respond.
:'''Zag-RS''': Dr. Salazar. Good morning. How may I assist you?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Stand down, gentlemen. Zag-RS has been successfully rebooted. But her memory has been wiped clean.
:'''Rex''': What? You got to be kidding me!
:'''Caesar''': That's interesting. Hmm. Van Kleiss must have implemented a program dump before he left you. It's the only logical conclusion.
:'''Rex''': Program dump?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Do not place your trust in Caesar. He's not the man you believe him to be.
:'''Rex''': Great. So now all we've got is a lame decontamination program with a GPS lady's voice?
:'''Caesar''': GPS lady? Hardly.
:'''Rex:''' I was making a joke.
:'''Caesar''': Don't you recognize it? When I programmed her, I wanted a voice that meant safety, protection, caring. Rex, this is our mother's voice.
:'''Rex''': ''[shocked]'' Mama?

===Night Falls===
: '''Rex:''' If she's not really our grandmother, why are you calling her ''aubuela''?
: '''Caesar:''' There may not be a biological connection but she practically ran the entire town. When you were a boy, you spent every summer here.
: '''Rex:''' I wish I could remember...or any of this.
===Hard Target===
: '''Rex:''' &quot;It's Breach! She's-&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Messing with you, Rex. Did you actually see on her the other side?&quot;
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Well, no but...OK, why Hong Kong?&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Because it's on the other side of the world, because she's seriously messed up.&quot;
: '''Cricket:'''&quot; Kind of like our place.&quot; 
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Trust me. She's back in Abysus laughing it off with the rest of the Pack. Besides, I'm not that easy to find.&quot;
: (''Removes the white towel to reveal her shoulder-length black hair partly dyed a deep plum and having donned a dark gray overall dress'')
: '''Rex:''' &quot;OK, Rex. Bad intro. Take a do-over. Like the new look.&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Wow. A compliment.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Skywdd:''' &quot;And that's when Circe goes all [[w:Siren (mythology)|siren]] and blasts the bus driver's pants clean off.&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;Lucky shot. Hit the exact frequency of polyester.&quot;
:'''Tuck:''' &quot;Good thing his boxers were cotton.&quot;
:'''Rex''' (''uncomfortable'')''':''' &quot;Good one. Uh, Circe, remember when you took down that sea monster in Cabo Luna?&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;Please, Rex, I'd rather not remember that right now.&quot;
:'''Skywdd:''' Geez, Rex. Buzzkill.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Stop it.&quot;
:'''Skywdd:''' &quot;What's with him?&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;Breach lag. Let clean over his bedtime.&quot;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;That and my early morning snooze. By the way, you were right. Breach wasn't after you. She freed Quarry. Got this from the Providence security feed.&quot;
:'''Skywdd:''' &quot;Quarry?&quot;
:'''Tuck:''' &quot;He's lose?&quot;
:'''Cricket:''' &quot;Oh no.&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;You saw Breach and came back ''here!'' What if she followed you!?&quot;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Don't worry. If Breach were here, I'd feel it. She's here.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Breach:''' &quot;Hey, girlfriend.&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Get out of here, Breach!&quot;
: '''Breach:''' &quot;But Van Kleiss has so been wanting to chat.&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Then deliver a message for him! &quot;
: (''Uses her ultrasonic bursts on Breach, who creates a portal behind her, knocking her out with her own sonic abilities)''
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Let her go, Breach!!&quot;
: '''Breach:''' &quot;Oh, sorry, Rex. She's gonna save my skin. V.K.'s tough on failure, remember?&quot;
: (''Teleports away with an unconscious Circe on her shoulder'')
: '''Rex:''' &quot;NO!!&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Hold that thought. You can come out now. I got that creeped out feeling.&quot;
:'''Breach:''' &quot;Peek a boo.&quot;
: '''Skwydd:''' &quot;It's her!'' She took Circe.&quot;
: '''Rex:''' But not to Van Kleiss. You never went to Abysus, did you? You slipped her into your little pocket dimension. Let her go, Breach!
: '''Breach:''' And I agree to that...why?
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Because you wouldn't want Van Kleiss to see this. I'm thinking a trade is in order.&quot;
: (''Breach releases Circe, who is caught by Skwydd'')
: '''Circe:''' &quot;I hate you, Breach.&quot;

===A Family Holiday===
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' The pace of study has been staggeringly slow. There have been no significant advancements in nanite research since the original event. Simply put, Providence is not doing enough. What is required is not a military response, but a serious, thoughtful reaction, a scientific answer. The poor and afflicted deserve more. The world, deserves more. Let me introduce Diane. Mother of three. Diane has been diagnosed as incurable, a lost cause. Since then, she's been treated like an animal, locked away from her family... No hope on the horizon. Until now. At Moses Labs, we don't rely on tanks, guns, or secret weapons-- Only an unwavering belief that whatever science breaks, science can fix. Welcome back, Diane.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Happy birthday, little sister.
:'''Rex:''' Hope that I paid the bills. This is going to be expensive.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Caesar:''' Release the hounds.
:''[a door opens revealing some Evo hounds]''
:'''Rex:''' Huh? Whoa!
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Heh! I thought that was just a figure of speech. You're a sick puppy.
:'''Rex:''' Aah! Not cool, bro!
:''[Rex panting]''
:'''Rex:''' ''[Spanish accent]'' Agua, por favor.
:'''Caesar:''' Water second, probes first.
:'''Rex:''' No offense, but being a guinea pig is a lot less fun when it's you instead of Holiday.
:'''Caesar:''' Don't I run the biometric tests with the same efficiency?
:'''Rex:''' How are we related? Have you looked at Holiday?
:'''Bobo Haha:''' She ain't my species and even I know she's a hottie.
:'''Caesar:''' She is... very smart.
:'''Rex:''' Where is the Doc anyway? She usually can't wait to get her hands on me.
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Saw her this morning, looking pretty grim.
:'''Agent Six:''' It's her sister. Her sister's birthday to be precise. Holiday gets introspective this time of year.
:'''Caesar:''' Her sister? Oh, is she smart too?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hey guys. Can't talk. Hangar!
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Ah, human dames. I don't know how you guys keep up.
:''[Dr. Holiday pants]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Thank you for coming, Dr. Moses. It's a genuine honor.
:'''Rex:''' Who the heck is that guy? Why is Holiday acting all fangirl around him?
:'''Caesar:''' It's Dr. Brandon Moses, the leading researcher in technogenic transmorphing! If anyone's going to develop a kill  for EVOs, it's going to be him!
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Now, that's actin' fan-girl.
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Not the worst I've seen.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Can you help her?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Beverly would be an excellent candidate for my treatments. Have her transported to my facility.
:'''Rex:''' Hold up! I know you have a bunch of letters after your name, but curing EVOs is what I do. Some of them--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Some you just can't handle, Rex. Dr. Moses' research goes to places you don't, so if you don't mind-- 10 minutes, then we'll be in the air. Thank you, doctor. I've earned 5 years' worth of personal time, Knight. I plan to use it all. 
:'''White Knight:''' I don't like it, but I like your sister even less. Go for your &quot;cure&quot;, Holiday. But if it doesn't work, don't bring her back.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Agent Six:''' What do you really know about Dr. Moses?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I know what I saw.
:'''Agent Six:''' You're not taking her to the doctor for a checkup. Has he handed you supporting data?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Why won't you let me have this? It's the first glimmer of hope I've had since Rex got here.
:'''Agent Six''': I think you've lost your objectivity. If you can't help her--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That's the point! I can't! I need this cure. If you won't help me, stay out of my way!
:'''Rex:''' Any chance she's right?
:'''Agent Six:''' Hope she is.
:'''Rex:''' But we're not going to sit around and do nothing in case she's wrong, right? Today you're my sidekick-- Not a fashion-challenged soccer mom blocking my mojo. If there's any chance of playing hero for Holiday, I call dibs.
:'''Security guard:''' Dr. Moses' inventions are not for public viewing-- Especially not by Providence.
:''[Security guard grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' That &quot;soccer mom&quot; comment really got to you, huh? When did science geeks start packing heat? Huh?
:'''Agent Six:''' Check the machine.
:'''Rex:''' I'm no engineer, but as far as I can tell, all this thing does is light up and go &quot;ping&quot;. They never cured it! This was a scam!
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday's in trouble. Holiday, Moses is a fraud. There is no cure!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' What's going on here? Moses, what is this?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Business, Dr. Holiday-- Big business. Now, if you wouldn't mind stepping aside so I can collect your sister--
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday?! What's happening?!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Or don't step aside. I'm good either way.
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday! We've got our coordinates. Go!
:'''Rex:''' It's a hundred miles away!
:'''Agent Six:''' Correct.
:'''Rex:''' Hold on to your swords, old man!
:''[Dr. Holiday grunts]:''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I trusted you!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' A bad trait, a scientist. But look on the bright side-- You won't be locked in a cell anymore. That was just... Shameful.
:'''Rex:''' Be the hero. Be the hero. Be the--
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' ...Zero. You'll be a lot less grouchy in a few seconds, pal. Half cured? That's new.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' They've got Beverly.
:'''Rex:''' You wanna talk to her?
:'''Agent Six:''' Now's not the time.
:'''Rex:''' And when exactly is. She needs a friend, Six.
:'''Agent Six:''' I... prefer to keep it professional. Keeps people from getting hurt.
:'''Rex:''' Dude. Take off the sunglasses. She's already hurting. If I were you--
:''[Six gets a radio signal]''
:'''Agent Six:''' If you were me, you'd have a lead. Get Holiday. Dust off in 3.
:'''Rex:''' Where are we going?
:'''Agent Six:''' Moses may be a genius but not because he can cure EVOs. He overpowers them-- Hypercharges the nanites with excess energy to push their transformations.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That's why Rex only partially cured that EVO he stripped the EVO of its extra power. But at its core, it was still incurable.
:'''Rex:''' We learned something new today. Great.
:'''Agent Six:''' Gets worse. Moses has turned his tech into a cottage industry. He takes incurables and weaponizes them to sell to the highest bidder.
:'''Rex:''' Don't sugarcoat it, Six.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' How did you find this out?
:'''Agent Six:''' I called some former associates-- People who know things, things that good people shouldn't know about.
:'''White Knight:''' Question-- Why is my keep on an unapproved mission?
:'''Rex:''' It's cool, Knight. We're helping Holiday.
:'''White Knight:''' No! We had a deal! Return to base immediately!
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's over guys. I can't drag you down because of my mistake. I won't.
:'''Agent Six:''' Keep returning to base.
:''[Knight ends the transmission]''
:'''Agent Six:''' I said the keep is returning to base. I didn't say we'd be on the keep.
:'''Rex:''' You okay?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hanging in there.
:'''Rex:''' Hanging in there is good. I don't like to see you unhappy, you know. I-I mean--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I know what you mean. Thanks.
:'''Agent Six:''' Better luck next time.
:''[Rex gasps]''
:'''Rex:''' Jealous much, sidekick?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Who is that?
:'''Rex:''' Someone who knows things good people shouldn't.
:'''Five:''' Machine boy! Like the new ax? You owe me for the last one.
:'''Agent Six:''' We'll talk music later, Five. You have word on Moses?
:'''Five:''' Five don't lie. Your guy is running an auction-- Tonight.
:'''Agent Six:''' I owe you.
:'''Five:''' She's a lot more beautiful than you let on, Six. Try not to screw it up this time.
:'''Agent Six:''' You coming?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' The EVO is the military ordinance of the future. We all know it. You drop one of these babies into your neighbor's backyard, and it's game over. But to get the most annihilation out of your nanites... you need me.
:'''Human EVO:''' You promised to cure!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' My technology not only amps up their abilities, but, for an extra charge, will modify their behavior to suit your needs. What am I bid for this army of one?
:'''Agent Six:''' ''[Bursting in]'' I'll open with extradition for crimes against humanity!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' ''[to his bidders]'' Wait! This is just a minor disturbance.
:''[Moses groans]''
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' ''[to Holiday]'' Do you know what you just cost me, all for one hopless wreck?!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Holiday hits Moses]'' Her name is Beverly.
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Then give sissy a hug.
:'''Dr Holiday:''' No! Don't hurt her, Rex!
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, sure. Handle with care. Whoa! Can you tell her that, too?
:'''Agent Six:''' Going nowhere?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Uh, let's not be ''[chuckling]'' rash.
:''[Holiday slaps Moses]''
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' I'm gonna have to get you a dictionary. Rash will not help anyone, especially not Beverly.
:''[Holiday grabs Moses]''
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Who can still be cured.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Holiday drops Moses]'' What?
:'''Agent Six:''' ''[Brandishing his swords]'' No games. Truth or dead.
:'''Rex:''' Fight still going! Need assistance! Big time! Whoa!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' I did invent a machine that de-powered nanites, almost. But the bonds and nanite particles were too strong to break. Instead, I discovered that I could reverse the polarity to its maximum, overpowering the nanites. It's easier and-- Profitable.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' But you did isolate the bonds? So, you can break them!
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa! Ugh! Unh! Okay, I called hero, but I need some extra kick for my sidekick! Unh! Seriously!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Time to earn a return on my investments! Kill them all!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa! Whoa! 
:'''White Knight:''' I won't even bother telling you the trouble you're in. Catch those other EVOs and report to my office the moment you're back.
:'''Rex:''' What other EVO-O-O-O-Os?
:''[Rex turns around and notices the EVOs behind him]''
:'''Rex:''' Ooos?
:'''Rex:''' Think they got it?
:'''Agent Six:''' They'd better. We're busy.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Unh! Okay. That's the flux transponder. That's the nanite energizer. Don't you explode on me-- Not now. Aah!
:'''Rex:''' I'll hand the one crazed sister. You take the other. It'll be like a double date. Don't bother... your sister... while she's working!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I can see what he did, but... uh... there's no time! I can't-- I can't help her! It's over.
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday-- Rebecca-- You are the strongest, smartest woman I have ever met, and the most stubborn.
:''[Six removes his glasses and looks her in the eyes]''
:'''Agent Six:''' You never give up. If there's a way to help your sister, find it-- now!
:''[Slight pause. Holiday smiles and puts Six's glasses back on his face then leaves]''
:'''Agent Six:''' That's my girl. New plan. Corral her to the machine.
:'''Rex:''' Plans are good! Yah! What you got, Doc?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Moses was right. The polarity of the nanite energizer is wrong! I have to amplify and reverse it. But I don't have-- Six... Your magna blades-- But it would be too dangerous. Six!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six!
:'''Agent Six:''' Is it working?
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's working.
:'''Rex:''' Six, get out of there!
:'''Agent Six:''' You called hero on this one, Rex! Finish it-- For her! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Unh! Get them out, Rex-- Both of them-- Now!
:''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
:'''Rex:''' Doc! You gotta see this!
:''[Dr. Holiday panting]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[as she's trying to revive Six]'' Don't you do this to me! I will hate you forever if you--
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:''[Six coughs]''
:'''Beverly:''' Rebecca?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Beverly!
:'''Rex:''' That was... I'm... Wow! Six, I've never said it before and I'll probably never say it again, but... I'm honored to be your partner.
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Mushy stuff? Oh! Glad I missed it.
:'''Rex:''' But don't ever do anything like that again.
:'''Agent Six:''' Agreed. But you have to admit though... It was worth it.
:''[Dr. Holiday and Beverly laughs]''
:'''White Knight:''' We're not running a boarding house here. No more relatives.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I just need her for a few more tests, sir. She was only 13 when she went Evo, and she's in a fragile state.
:'''Beverly:''' Woo Hoo!
:''[Beverly laughing]''
:'''Beverly:''' Rex just took me on a ride through the Zoo on his cycle.
:'''White Knight:''' &quot;Fragile.&quot; Right.
:'''Rex:''' We're going to the mall.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Are you asking permission?
:'''Rex:''' No. I'm asking if we can have some money. Providence pays me nada.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Can I have a word with you?
:'''Agent Six:''' Sure this is a good idea? Could ruin your hero status with Holiday.
:'''Rex:''' It's funny. After meeting Bev, out of nowhere, it hit me that Doc Holiday is just a little too old for me. So, since I'm out of the way, I guess there's nothing stopping you anymore, huh, &quot;hero&quot;?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Well... right. I guess... I'll set up those tests.
:''[Holiday starts to walk past Six. Six takes a hold of her hand]''
:'''Agent Six:''' Or... we could get some dinner.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Outside? In the real world? Like real people? Like a--
:'''Agent Six:''' Yes. Like a date.
:''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's about time.

===Hong Kong Nights===

===Whispers in the Dark===
===Cutting It Close===

===Exposed===
:'''White Knight''': All Providence personnel, this is a priority-one alert.
:'''Agent Six''': Do not panic. Remember your training.
:'''White Knight''': In all my years of working at Providence, never have I been put in such a situation. These interlopes could be anywhere at any given moment.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Hey, what's all the-- Whoa! Sorry. We're late.
:'''Bobo Haha''': You can't prove a thing!
:'''White Knight''': Watch what you say. Watch what you do. The very future of Providence may depend upon it.
:'''Rex Salazar''': So, what's going on? Van Kleiss attack in the HQ again?
:'''Agent Six''': Worse.
:'''Diane Farrah:''' I'm Diane Farrah, and for the first time ever, we've got an exclusive all-access pass inside the top-secret organization known as Providence. To uncover for our viewers, all the juiciest behind-the-scenes details of this most secret of institutions. And to find out the real story behind that man of mystery you've all wondered about for so long.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Aah.
:'''Diane Farrah''': All your questions are about to be answered. Welcome to Providence Exposed! ''[Camera closes-up on her face]'' On Ultimate Exposure! And cut. Great into, guys. Okay, moving on.
:'''Rex Salazar''': This is cool.
:'''Agent Six''': This is wrong.
:'''Rex Salazar''': How's my hair?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Delicious.
:'''White Knight''': Ladies and gentlemen, the delightful Miss Farrah and her crew have used the Freedom of Information Act to force.
:''[White Knight clears his throat]''
:'''White Knight''': To allow them access to a day in the life of Providence. And to ensure you are afforded the very best Providence has to offer, I'm assigning our top man as your personal guide.
:''[Rex moves towards the news team]''
:'''White Knight''': Six, please show Miss Farrah whatever she wants to see.
:'''Agent Six''': Agent Six is the name. On behalf of Providence, I'd like to welcome you to our facility.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Spare me the small talk. I'm here to ask the tough questions, and I expect truthful answers.
:'''Agent Six''': Shoot.
:'''Diane Farrah''': So.. is there a Mrs. Six?
:''[Combs her hair]''
:'''Bobo Haha''': Smooth.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Like you'd have done better.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Are you kidding? They want exposed. I'm going to give that reporter a piece of my mind and a few other pieces while I'm at it. I got stories that'll make them run screaming for the hills.
:''[Bobo Haha laughs]''
:'''Agent Six''': If you'll follow me, I'll be happy to show you one of our nanite research labs up close and personal. EVO control is our primary area of concentration, but Providence is focused on a great many studies. Each employing the best and the brightest our planet has to offer.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Thanks, Six. You know, this is my brother's lab. He's only like the smartest guy in the entire world. Yeah, being the best at what we do totally runs in our family.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Not a good time.
:'''Agent Six''': That experiment is highly sensitive.
:'''Diane Farrah''': So, Agent Six, how did you become a Providence agent?
:'''Agent Six''': That's also highly sensitive.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Amazing story though about how I became a Providence agent. See, there was this big accident.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Good morning. My name is Dr. Rebecca Holiday, And I'm the chief research officer for the Providence Laboratory Facilities - specializing in the study of evology. Providence's number one priority is the security of our planet. And through the studying and understanding the forces that threaten us--
:'''Diane Farrah''': Let's cut to the chase, shall we, doctor?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Oh, um, okay.
:'''Diane Farrah''': How do you balance the threat of EVOs, the constant danger... with being a woman?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Uh.
:''[Dr. Holiday laughs nervously]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Oh, excuse me.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Speaking of studying, check this out. You can edit that, right?
:'''Diane Farrah''': We're all about the editing.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, maybe you could show these journalists some of your other duties, like what you're supposed to be doing right now, for instance.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, man. That's right. Come on. You're going to love this.
:'''Diane Farrah''': EVOs come from far and wide for a chance to be cured by this young man. How often do you do this?
:'''Rex Salazar''': At least once a week here at HQ. When I'm in other parts of the county or the world, Providence sets up a mobile cure station. There are a lot of people out there who need my help. I only wish I could get to them all. Wait. Um, let my try again. ''[after Rex can't cure an EVO]'' Shut it off.
:'''Diane Farrah''': But this is really good drama, Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I asked to be on TV. They didn't. Please give these people their privacy.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Come on, buddy. Everybody has an off day.
:'''Rex Salazar''': In front of millions of viewers? So much for everyone's favorite Providence man of mystery.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Well, they're just lucky they haven't had the camera on me yet. Oh man, talk about Ultimate Exposure. When I get through with them--
:'''Rex Salazar''': I just wish I could look cool on camera somehow.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Phbt! Good luck. The only way that's going to happen now is if some experimental EVOs busted out of their cages and went on a rampage so you could round them up and look like a hero.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Providence isn't known for being forthcoming with information. I hope this interview will change that. The people want answers and I fully expect them from you.
:'''White Knight''': Very well. What do you want to know?
:'''Diane Farrah''': For starters, how do you get fresh milk without any nanites in it?
:'''White Knight''': If you must know, it's passed through a powerful magnet that removes and neutralizes any nanite activity.
:'''Agent Six''': Observe.
:''[White Knight smacks lips]''
:'''White Knight''': Anything else?
:'''Diane Farrah''': Not at the moment, but I'll be back.
:'''White Knight''': I look forward to it.
:''[White Knight sips]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': So, Agent Six, what do you think about White Knight's obsession with staying nanite-free at the expense of human contact?
:'''Agent Six''': He's a man of many mysteries.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Look out! Coming through! Dangerous escaped EVOs on the loose! Stand back! Let a professional handle this!
:'''Diane Farrah''': Follow him.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Yeah, I'm kind of awesome.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Did you get them all?
:'''Rex Salazar''': How many did you release?
:'''Bobo Haha''': I don't know, three or four.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, which was it? Three or four?
:''[Rex Salazar gasps]''
:'''Agent Six''': Well then. Now that Rex's little demonstration is over, how about a visit to the Providence gift shop? On me.
:'''Diane Farrah''': How long has Providence had a gift shop?
:'''Agent Six''': Since 8:00 A.M. You want to tell me how a class by EVO got out of its electromagnetically-sealed container and just happened to cross paths with our tour?
:'''Rex Salazar''': It's not like this kind of thing doesn't happen here all the time. I just wanted it to happen this time, in front of the camera, all right?
:'''Agent Six''': Not all right. That last EVO-- You just helped it molt so it could grow. Its body is still out there somewhere, getting bigger.
:'''White Knight''': Providence is run like a finely tuned machine. Until you decide to throw a monkey wrench into the works.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Hey, pal, let's leave the comedy to me.
:'''White Knight''': And how is it exactly that these EVOs got out?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Okay, Mea Culpa. I may have accidentally knocked open a cage or two-- Or four.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': That fourth cage was electromagnetically sealed.
:'''Bobo Haha''': I didn't say it was easy.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': The EVO we had contained in there feeds on electricity. It must be kept away from any electrical current.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Then it sure is a good thing this whole place isn't full of electricity. Oh, wait.
:'''White Knight''': Find it. Subdue it. And most importantly, don't let that camera crew see it.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Eh, were wastin' time hunting this thing down when I could be on camera right now, giving those people a piece of my mind.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Hey, I only saw the EVOs empty husk before. What's the real thing look like anyway? Huh?
:'''Bobo Haha''': That.
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:''[Rex Salazar grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Any suggestions?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Can you make a soccer net?
:''[Rex Salazar and Bobo Haha grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Aha! Got you cornered now. There's no way out. You're overpowered.
:'''Bobo Haha''': You were saying?
:'''Agent Six''': You wanted to interview me. Now's your chance. Go.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Um... okay. Tell me, Six-- May I call you Six?-- What is the real truth behind the nanite event that created the EVOs?
:'''Agent Six''': That's classified.
:'''Diane Farrah''': What is your role, if any, in that event?
:'''Agent Six''': That's classified, too.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Are you always this talkative?
:'''Agent Six''': No comment.
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Wait. Let me do that again. You didn't get my good side. Which is my good side?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Your backside.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Agent Six, you promised you were taking us to the heart of the operation.
:'''Agent Six''': Right. The heart of the operation. This way.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': [Watching from a monitor] It went right.
:''[Rex goes to his right. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Camera right!
:''[Rex goes to the camera's right]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': How can you miss it now? It's six feet in diameter and weighs five hundred pounds!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Less criticizing, more helping!
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Try to steer it in the direction of Hallway twelve. We can isolate it in the atrium.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, we've got it contained there now.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': No, sorry. I was reading that backwards. Hallway twenty one.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, Hallway twenty one leads to the central core!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, so, no big deal. That's a cold-fission reactor, not electric, right?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, all electricity is converted from something-- Wind, solar, hydro-- At the central core!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Ohh.
:''[Providence Agent screams]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Uh-hoh.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, listen carefully and do exactly as I say because we're only going to get one shot at this.
:'''Diane Farrah''': One shot at what, doctor?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': The... future. Providence is the future. The future used to be the space program. Now the future is Providence and the science of EVOs.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Doc? Are you still there? We have a situation.
:'''Agent Six''': Just a minor downgrade of power during a routine relay check. Nothing to worry about.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Guys, I could really use some advice right about now!
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''White Knight''': Attention all Providence Personnel, we have a Level-One Priority...
:''[Realizes the reporters are present]''
:'''White Knight''': Drill. Repeat-- This is our daily drill in the Central Core-- Now.
:'''Agent Six''': Lunch bell. It's taco day. Anyone hungry?
:'''Diane Farrah''': Agent Six, while we appreciate the commemorative spoons and the tacos, I can't help but think that you've been hiding something from our viewers.
:'''Agent Six''': Not at all, ma'am. Providence is an open book.
:''[Rex Salazar screams]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': Cut! You're ruining the shot, Rex. Just be patient. I will get to you-- I promise.
:''[Rex Salazar groans]''
:'''Agent Six''': Get down.
:''[Diane Farrah gasps]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': That was... what you did.
:'''Agent Six''': Just doing my job, ma'am.
:'''Rex Salazar''': And I'm just doing mine!
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': You're not going anywhere now, buddy, except back to your-- Cage?
:'''White Knight''': We hope that you and the Ultimate Exposure team are enjoying our EVO containment demonstration, Miss Farrah. All part of readiness training here at Providence.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Can I quote you on that?
:'''White Knight''': Miss Farah, I'm not gonna stop you from filming, but for your own safety and the safety of your crew, please step back and let my people do what they do best. Alpha Team, I need a containment of the cafeteria, cube formation. Fire! Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm on it.
:'''Agent Six''': Stay here. This is the real deal.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Not on your life. Find an elevator. We're missing it.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Still not a good ti-i-i-i-i-me!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, big boy. No more crawl spaces. No more Hallways. Just you and me in a big, old hangar bay mano y mano.
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Huh?
:'''Bobo Haha''': ''[after Rex has been repeatedly beaten back by the Evo]'' Looks like you showed him.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Are you going to talk, or are you going to help?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Talk. Kidding! I'm helping! I'm helping!
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:''[Rex Salazar groaning]''
:''[Rex Salazar groaning]''
:''[Rex Salazar sighs]''
:''[Rex Salazar groaning]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': Please tell me you're getting all of this.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Providence's man of mystery strikes again. Ow! It-- it bit me!
:'''Diane Farrah''': Quick, grab some B-roll footage before they get rid of all the evidence.
:'''Rex Salazar''': You did see that I did all the heavy lifting and Six just took out the trash, right?
:'''Diane Farah''': Don't worry. The camera never lies.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Yes!
:'''Bobo Haha''': Good! Then get a load of this!
:'''Diane Farah''': Do you have something to say?
:''[Camera zooms in on Bobo]''
:'''Bobo Haha''': Oh... oh.
:''[Bobo mutters then passes out]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': I think we have everything we need.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I don't know how you guys came off looking, but yours truly rocked hard. Just call me Providence's Man of Mystery from now on. Oh, yeah! Stardom starts in five, four, three, two--
:'''Diane Farrah''': I'm Diane Farrah, and for the first time ever, we've got an exclusive all-access pass inside the top-secret organization known as Providence. To uncover for our viewers, all the juiciest behind-the-scenes details of this most secret of institutions.
:'''Rex Salazar''': We are so dead.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Nice knowing you, kid.
:'''Diane Farrah''': To find out the real story behind that man of mystery you've all wondered about for so long.
:'''Agent Six''': Agent Six is the name.
:'''Rex Salazar''': They did it.
:'''Bobo Haha''': They did.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': This is a news show? What is the world coming to?
:'''Diane Farrah''': Look out, ladies. Agent Six is the full package -- brains, brawn, and--
:'''Agent Six''': Highly sensitive.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Just what is he hiding behind those alluring, dark glasses of his?
:'''Agent Six''': That's classified.
:'''Diane Farrah''': He's the Providence agent you women wanted to get to know.
:'''Agent Six''': Up close and personal.
:'''Diane Farrah''': That's right, girls.
:'''Agent Six''': He's The real deal.
:'''Diane Farrah''': And he's known throughout Providence as--
:'''Agent Six''': The heart of the operation.
:'''Diane Farrah''': He's the organization's best-kept secret, the ultimate agent, and--
:'''Agent Six''': The man of many mysteries.
:'''Diane Farrah''': And, yes, ladies, he is single -- or is he?
:''[Dr. Holiday laughs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Excuse me.
:'''Agent Six''': No comment.
:''[Rex and Bobo Haha laughs]''
:'''White Knight''': Well, that's a relief.
:'''Rex Salazar''': ''[after the story airs]'' So, man of mystery, what's it like being a big star adored by women everywhere?
:'''Agent Six''': No comment.

===Touch and Go===
===The Siren's Lament===
* Flashbacks as to how Circe came to work for Van Kleiss.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Grounded===
===Six Minus Six===
===In Dreams===

===Lions and Lambs===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:''[Providence agents are standing in an industrial area, fingers on triggers. Rex flies in on jet pack and lands beside all the agents.]''
:'''Rex:''' Any sign? ''[Rex notices agents shaking in fear.]'' Alright then, who’s up for a burger, anyone? Tough crowd.
:''[Six walks up.]''
:'''Six:'''	These agents seem nervous. Haven’t they dealt with this situation before?
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, that's kind of the problem.
:''[Rex twitches, as if he is feeling Breach's presence.]''
:'''Providence Agent:''' Here she comes.
:''[Breach appears in front of them. They fire at her. She sends their missiles and agents away with red portals.]''
:'''Six:'''	How do we stop her?
:'''Rex:'''	''[Smack Hands.]'' Hit hard and keep clear of anything that glows.
:''[Breach has a collar around her neck like the one Van Kleiss wears, and a device on her chest like his only much larger and shackles are around her giant hands which look like Van Kleiss's bio-mechanical wrist. She opens a red portal. A giant jellyfish-like thing flies out at Six, then a large creature with a horn on its nose runs out. Rex jumps at Breach, she portals out, returns and the device on her chest starts sparking.]''
:'''Rex:'''	What's with the new toy, Breach?
:'''Breach:'''	''[Glares]'' Wouldn’t you like to know?
:''[T-Rex appears through a gold colored portal, sniffs Rex.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Seriously, where do you find these things? Let's see what you started out as, big guy. ''[Tries to cure.] Six? This... this isn't an EVO!'' It's an actual T-Rex! ...Six?
:''[Rex runs from T-Rex.]''
:'''Breach:'''	Have fun. ''[Leaves through red portal.]''
:''[Rex hides behind light pole, T-Rex pulls pole from ground, Rex falls to the ground.]''
:'''Six:'''	I take it this sort of thing doesn't happen all the time?
:'''Rex:''' Try never? This is all kinds of wrong.
:''[Rex makes BFS, runs at T-Rex; Six runs at T-Rex, jumps on and stabs it in back.]''
:'''Holiday:'''	Is that what I think it is?
:'''Six:''' You mean about to be extinct?
:'''Holiday:''' If you destroy the scientific find of a lifetime, it won’t be the only thing.
:'''Rex:'''	It's trying to eat us.
:'''Six:'''	You heard the lady. Take it down soft.
:'''Rex:'''	Easy for you to say.
:''[Rex lies on the ground holding the jaws open with Smack Hands and it slobbers on him.]''
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Video of T-Rex in confinement field. The T-Rex turns to dust.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Breach is powerful enough as it is, and now you're telling me she can travel through time?
:'''Holiday:'''	However she's doing it, I haven't worked out all the kinks yet. That dinosaur reverted to its actual age about less than two hours after arrival.
:'''Caesar:'''	Photo and deep scan analysis reveals some very interesting technology at work here. Van Kleiss has really stepped up his game.
:'''White Knight:''' Skip the fan talk. How do we stop it?
:'''Caesar:'''	Until I get my hands on the device, I'm not certain we can.
:'''White Knight:''' We have to bring her to our side.
:'''Rex:'''	The only way she's coming here is if she does it willingly.
:'''White Knight:''' How do you propose we persuade her?
:'''Rex:'''	With me. ''[Six and Holiday stare at him skeptically.]'' I can be very convincing. Okay, okay. I think she might still have a thing for me.
:'''Bobo:''' Atta boy, work it on the crazy chick.
:'''White Knight:''' I don't care how we do it as long as we get results. Providence is under the microscope. It is the worst time for Van Kleiss to gain the upper hand. Get to it. Bring her in.
:''[Six and Holiday walking out of the room together down the hall.]''
:'''Six:''' ''[To Holiday.]'' I need a word. Something's wrong with White.
:'''Holiday:'''	Oh. That. He’s always like this, Six.
:'''Six:'''	No. This is different. I know when something is bothering him. The secret meetings, the anxiety. He’s up to something.
:'''Holiday:'''	I'll see what I can find out.
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Rex on hoverboard, in Providence stealth suit.]''
:'''Rex:'''	WHOO-HOO! Works pretty good. After all, I built it. ''[Loses control of board for a moment.]''
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Van Kleiss's castle, Rex hiding by entrance.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Going in. ''[Pulls up stealth mask, disappears partly, runs past guard.]''
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Breach is hooked up to a large machine. Van Kleiss stands before her with a huge bank of controls and displays, spooky dark lighting. She screams.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' This is unacceptable, Breach. I need you to concentrate.
:'''Breach:''' It hurts.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Think of what I'm trying to achieve here. I cannot fail.
:''[Breach screams in agony and collapses.]''
:''[Rex looks down horrified, Van Kleiss grins, Breach screams and falls down.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I'll return when it recharges and we'll start again.
:''[Rex holds his hand out to her.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Why do you let him do this to you?
:'''Breach:''' Glory.
:'''Rex:'''	Van Kleiss's glory. Is he even noticing how you're tearing yourself apart for him? Have you ever heard him say thank you? What do you say we blow this joint, you and me? He's hurting you.
:'''Breach:'''	It's not real. It can't hurt you if it isn't real.
:'''Rex:'''	Breach, look at me. It is. I'm real, all of this is real. You don't have to live this way.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Why am I not surprised. Rex has come to rescue another of my lost sheep. Perhaps he'll try to save you next, Biowulf.
:'''Rex:'''	That depends. Is he housebroken yet?
:'''Biowulf:'''	I am no traitor.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	You’ve no doubt seen our little experiment. Breach shows great promise. She just needs a little fine tuning.
:'''Rex:'''	Then what? Go back in time and be king of the cavemen?
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Why not? It wouldn’t be much of a step down, now would it? Breach, if you would, remove our guest so we can continue. Practice makes perfect, or in your case, acceptable.
:''[Breach makes a red portal.]''
:'''Rex:''' Breach! Think about what you're doing.
:''[Van Kleiss grins, she runs and puts her arms around Rex, portals out with Rex.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Find her. Now.
:''[Mountains, snow, Rex shivering.]''
:'''Rex:'''	I'm glad you got us out of there, but where... are we?
:'''Breach:'''	When the snow is gone you can see forever.
:'''Rex:''' That's nice. Can we go now?
:'''Breach:''' I need to know if I can trust you.
:'''Rex:'''	You can trust me. I swear.
:''[Breach grabs his hand and hugs him. He opens his eyes. They are standing on a shiny endless reflective surface, reflecting stars.]''
:'''Rex:'''	This is different.
:'''Breach:'''	Do you see it?
:'''Rex:'''	Um--
:'''Breach:'''	This is where the stillness comes from.
:'''Rex:'''	You. Are weird. So what exactly does this mean? Are you coming with me or is this some kind of test?
:'''Breach:'''	I need you to see it.
:'''Rex:'''	Ah... A test.
:'''Breach:'''	Do you wanna understand?
:'''Rex:'''	Not exactly sure. ''[She glares, he waves his hands in front of him.]'' Yes, I mean yes. I mean--
:'''Breach:''' Follow me. ''[Walks through red portal.]''
:''[Another place. A door, a doll, a bear and a fire hydrant float in space.]''
:''[Rex hanging upside down, she is holding him by his ankle above a swirling pink vortex.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Ahh! What happened? I thought we were getting along fine!
:'''Breach:'''	Why are you here?
:'''Rex:''' Good question. Where exactly is here? Can we go somewhere else now, somewhere like, on Earth?
:''[She drops him. He screams and lands on the floor between some stacks of books.]''
:'''Rex:''' You sure know how to pick'em. What kind of tripped out dimension is this? ''[Librarian walks by and shushes him.]'' Oh. College.
:'''White Knight:''' ''[On communicator in Rex's right ear.]'' Rex, report. Where on earth have you been?
:'''Rex:'''	Apparently every place but.
:'''White Knight:''' I need to know you can handle this otherwise we're going to try a different approach.
:'''Rex:'''	You need to chill out, White. I’m making progress. ''[Rex puts his hand to his left ear.]'' Dr. Holiday, are you there?
:'''Holiday:'''	Tracking shows you’re with Breach. Are you okay?
:'''Rex:'''	Fine? Creeped out but fine. I can't bring Breach back to Providence, White would just lock her up and that won't help.
:'''Holiday:'''	Where will you take her?
:'''Rex:'''	I'll think of something. Just keep White Knight off my case.
:''[Breach appears behind him.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Why don't you let me pick out where we go next?
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[White Knight hands folded moving nervously.]''
:'''White Knight:''' He says he's making progress.
:'''Black Knight:''' The committee is losing confidence. They want results, not excuses.
:'''White Knight:''' Then that's exactly what they’ll get.
:''[Scene change. Rex sits across from Breach in a booth at a bowling alley.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Soooo, don't like bowling, huh? I figured with the extra arms you'd be a natural.
:'''Breach:'''	I'm not supposed to like you, but I do.
:'''Rex:''' ''[smiles]'' We're teenagers. At least assuming you are. Doing what we are not supposed to is part of the job. French fry?
:''[She takes it and then drops it.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Do you remember anything? From before you... changed?
:'''Breach:'''	I remember everything. And nothing.
:'''Rex:''' Naturally. Why did I even bother to ask. Listen, Breach. I'm not going to pretend I understand you, ''[Puts his hand on her giant hand]'' but I can help. If you let me.
:''[The machine starts to glow, they jump to their feet, other people look startled.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Nothing to worry about. Everything's fine.
:'''Breach:'''	I can't, I can't stop it.
:'''Rex:'''	Let me try. ''[He tries and it knocks him onto the floor sparking.]''
:'''Breach:'''	Van Kleiss has control. They're coming.
:''[Van Kleiss busts through the door with The Pack following. Raises bio-mechanical hand, palm of it glows, device on Breach's chest turns off.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Okay, do your thing. Get us out of here. Anywhere.
:''[she tries]''
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	You can't take what doesn't belong to you.
:'''Rex:'''	I didn't take you for the jealous type. ''[Rex shoots bowling balls at Van Kleiss with his cannon, hits Biowulf and Skalamander in the face and Van Kleiss punches the balls aside with his bio-mechanical hand.]''
:'''Rex:''' Breach, let's go!
:''[Breach rides off with Rex on hoverboard, Van Kleiss and Pack follow on three flying fish EVO's with harnesses and big teeth. They dodge and crash Van Kleiss into a window, and land in a park.]''
:''[Breach and Rex stand together on a footbridge looking down into the water.]''
:'''Breach:''' ''[Walks to bridge and looks at her reflection, Rex follows.]'' Will they hurt me?
:'''Rex:'''	Providence? Not if I can help it.
:'''Breach:'''	They did before. Ms. Smarty Pants—she likes to hurt me.
:'''Rex:''' I'll give you my word, if you come back to Providence, I promise no one will hurt you.
:'''Breach:'''	We can be together forever and ever. ''[She walks off bridge, ducks swimming in water.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Uh... something like that. What am I getting myself into? We gotta move. I bet my brother has already figured out how to turn that thing of yours off.
:''[The ducks fly off, they look and see a reflection in the pond of White Knight's ship.]''
:''[White Knight walks up followed by Providence fighter planes.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Uh guys, what are you doing?!
:'''White Knight:''' If you can't have something done right, do it yourself.
:''[They shoot at Breach, she screams, Rex is horrified.]''
:'''Rex:''' No! No! No! ''[walks up bridge to White Knight]'' Do have any idea what you just did?
:''[Breach's chest device turns on, she screams, Providence shoots at her.]''
:'''Rex:''' Is this what you wanted? Congratulations! ''[runs to Breach]'' Breach! Wait!
:'''Breach:''' Liar! ''[Throws red portal at Rex, he dodges, second one hits him, he disappears. Providence keeps shooting, she throw portals, drops three soldiers in water.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Agent Six!
:''[He jumps at her, she portals him away to behind Knight. Rex jumps from the water onto the bridge by Knight.]''
:'''Rex:'''	You had no intention to bring her in, did you?
:'''White Knight:''' I wanted to believe you, Rex, but this is too important. She can't be controlled.
:'''Rex:''' Control... Her powers are back on. Van Kleiss.
:''[Van Kleiss arrives on flying fish EVO.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Settle down, Breach.
:''[Chest device turns off.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Let me do this. I can get through to her. Come on. It couldn't get any worse than you've already made it
:''[Knight and Six look at each other.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Form a perimeter around Breach. Van Kleiss isn't to touch her.
:''[A rock wall rises from the ground blocking Rex as he runs towards Breach. The Pack jumps down from wall to attack Rex, Six intervenes. Agents surround Breach, she tries and fails to make red portal. Screams. Van Kleiss flies in on fish, knocks down agents with bio-mechanical whip arm, shoots needles from fingers and knocks more down, fish knocks the rest down. White Knight shoots at Van Kleiss.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' If you had any idea what I was trying to do you might even welcome it.
:'''White Knight:''' Enlighten me.
:''[Van Kleiss touches a tree and it turns into an EVO. EVO tree catches and holds White. Six and Biowulf fight, Rex and Skalamander fight.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Enlighten you?
:''[Sticks his claws in White Knight, glowing White Knight screams.]'' All in good time, White Knight, assuming you have some left.
:''[Six throws a magnablade through Van Kleiss's bio-mechanical arm and he lets go of White.]''
:'''Six:'''	''[to White Knight]'' Go. I mean it. ''[White Knight flies off.]''
:'''Six:''' The name's Six.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	We've met.
:'''Six:'''	Don't remember. ''[They fight.]''
:''[Breach on merry-go-round, turning slowly looking at the sky.
:'''Rex:'''	You're just using her.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Of course I am. She knows it. Spare me the chivalry, Rex. Providence would do the same.
:'''Rex:'''	Either way you slice it, she loses!
:'''Breach:''' ''[to herself]'' My two favorites. You both lie. Neither is real.
:'''Rex:''' ''[goes to her]'' Breach, I'm sorry. I meant what I said.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Words mean nothing.
:'''Rex:''' Then let this do the talking. ''[Turns on her machine, puts it into her power.]''
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' You just handed her a loaded gun.
:'''Rex:'''	And now it's her choice how to use it.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Oh if only I had the chance to get through to you, Rex, to teach you how the world really works.
:''[Breach steps in front of Van Kleiss, raises her arms as if to send Rex away. Makes huge yellow portal above them.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Our very first time traveler. You should be honored. Now Breach, if you wouldn't mind.
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:''[Rex closes his eyes. Breach sends Van Kleiss away with yellow portal.]''
:'''Rex:''' That was... unexpected.
:''[Rex tries to turn machine off but fails.]''
:'''Rex:'''	It won't turn off. I'm sorry. I, I didn't know.
:'''Breach:'''	Van Kleiss made it like this so I wouldn't send him away.
:'''Rex:'''	That didn't work out so well did it? Six, get everyone out of here now! ''[A big yellow dome forms around the playground where Rex and Breach stand.]''
:'''Rex:'''	So, what's going to happen?
:''[Rex and Breach are about to be engulfed by Breach's out of control time portal]''
:'''Breach''': ''[she looks up]'' I don't know if any of this was real. But it was nice having a friend for a while. ''[Rex smiles, Breach hugs him as they dispensary in the golden time portal]''
:'''Rex:''' I didn't get blown up. ''[Sees a lizard.]'' Whoa! ''[Jumps away, startled.]'' Oh no, please don't let this be dino time. ''[Touches earpiece in left ear.]'' Rex to Providence, do you copy? :''[Takes earpiece out and looks at it.]'' Oh... Rex to Providence, you better be there.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Uh... we copy, Rex. We have a lock on your coordinates and are sending a jump jet.
:'''Rex:'''	Is Six okay? Breach went supernova.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Someone's on the way, just hold tight. Providence out.
:''[Scene change, Rex lying on the ground.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Took you long enough.
:''[Turns over and sees Providence agents, pointing guns at him.]''
:'''Providence Agent:''' Rex is onboard. Heading back to HQ.
:'''Rex:'''	HQ? Ten minutes ago I was in the middle of an epic battle. You need to take me back!
:'''Providence Agent:''' Um, that battle is over.
:'''Rex:''' What happened? Is Six okay? Guys...what's going on?
:''[They arrive at HQ.]''
:'''Caesar:'''	Baby brother, you're okay! ''[Runs and hugs him.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Breach just sent me to nowheresville. Nothing to freak out over.
:'''Caesar:'''	''[To Providence agent.]'' You didn't tell him?
:'''Providence Agent:''' Our orders were just to bring him back.
:'''Rex:'''	Tell me what? Hey, when did you... have a beard?
:'''Caesar:''' There's no easy way to tell you this, hermano. Breach didn't just send you to the middle of nowhere. You've been gone for six months.
:'''Rex:'''	Six months?! So this is--
:'''Caesar:''' Technically, the future. I should warn you, there've been a few changes.
:'''Rex:'''	You didn't give away my room, did you?
:'''Caesar:''' As a matter of fact, they did.
:'''Rex:''' What?! Caesar, tell me what's going on here.
:'''Caesar:'''	It would be better if I showed you.
:'''Rex:'''	White Knight taking visitors now?
:'''Caesar:'''	I'll wait out here.
:''[Rex sees Providence agents dressed in black.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Nice suits.
:''[Goes into the office.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Ah... Love what you've done with the place. White?
:''[Person in chair turns around, it's a woman, not White Knight.]''
:'''Black Knight:''' Thank you, Rex. ''[She gets up and walks towards him.]'' It was a little bright for my taste. White Knight is no longer associated with this organization.
:'''Rex:''' He quit?
:'''Black Knight:''' He...attempted a hostile takeover and failed. Can I get you anything? Water? A snack?
:'''Rex:''' I don't want a snack! Where's Six? Where's Holiday!?
:'''Black Knight:''' This must upsetting to you. Change is never easy but from I understand, you've been in situations like this before. Everything's going to be fine.
:'''Rex:''' Who are you?!
:'''Black Knight:''' Someone very happy to have you back. Call me Black Knight.

==Season Three (2011-2013)==
===Back in Black===
: '''Rex''': Okay, I get what's going on here.
: '''Black Knight''': I'm relieved to hear that, Rex.
: '''Rex''': You can come out! I know you're there!
: '''Black Knight''': Rex?
: '''Rex''': We're friends, now, remember? Breach?
: '''Black Knight''': Breach isn't here, Rex. The world's changed. As soon you accept th--
: '''Rex''': No, I'm not ignoring you. It's just that you're not real.
: '''Black Knight''': I assure you I'm very real-- as is all of this.
: '''Rex''': ''[chuckling]'' Oh, come on. It's been a fun time in the ol' Breachscape, but, you know, time to go home now.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex''': Seen this before. Usually ends with a black hole.
: '''Black Knight''': Rex, you're disoriented. Let me--
: '''Rex''': Sorry, non-lady. No time. Got an exit to find! Shall we aprehend?
: '''Black Knight''': It won't be necessary.
: '''Caesar''': Rex! Have you lost it?
: '''Rex''': Caesar! We're in a pocket dimension! It could collapse at any second!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Caesar''': That's crazy, Rex. This is not a pocket dimension.
: '''Rex''': You're right! It's a whole alternate universe! And-- and-- and you're my Brother's evil twin! Out of the way! Six! Six! Doc!
: ''[Rex panting]''
: '''Rex''': Dr. Holiday! Doc!
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex''': Wha-- Well, at least some things haven't changed. Whoa! Whoa! Okay, now I-- Bleh-- know I'm in an-- Aah!-- alternate universe. Unh! You can go ahead and -- Blech!-- Eat me now, please.
: '''Black Knight''': Release.
: '''Rex''': You were... saying something about changes?
: '''Black Knight''': There have been a few.
: '''Caesar''': You've got temporal lag, Rex. It's kind of like altitude sickness, only in time. Here-- This will balance your electrolytes.
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex''': So this is really-- 
: '''Black Knight''': Really. Welcome to the future, Rex-- Or, rather, to the present. Without your healing abilities, Providence has embraced a new paradigm. We've moved beyond the outmoded era of &quot;cure, contain, or kill.&quot;
: '''Rex''': And into the era of &quot;serious leash laws&quot;.
: '''Caesar''': We used the petting zoo as our test bed. What do you think?
: '''Rex''': I think it needs a new name, 'cause, you know, now it really is one.
: '''Caesar''': We've developed new techniques for working with EVOs. It's all about understanding them better.
: '''Rex''': So, you're some sort of &quot;EVO whisperer&quot;?
: '''Caesar''': ''[laughs]'' It's a bit more complicated than that. You sure you're okay? ''[sighs]'' It's good to have you back, brother.
: '''Black Knight''': Family ties. They transcend even time itself.
: '''Rex''': Caesar's not my only family.
: '''Black Knight''': I'll bring you up to speed on the others. When you went M.I.A., White Knight lost his biggest weapon in the war for EVO containment.
: '''Rex''': Figures that I have to vanish for him to appreciate me.
: '''Black Knight''': White became erratic-- some might say paranoid. Directorate lost faith in his ability to lead.
: '''Rex''': Directorate? I never knew white even had a boss.
: '''Black Knight''': There are, shall we say, layers. I was named as his replacement.
: '''Rex''': Let me guess-- he didn't take it well.
: '''Black Knight''': You could say that.
: '''Providence Agent''': White Knight! Sir! Stand down!
: '''White Knight''': I'd rather go down in flames than see Providence in the hands of the enemy.
: '''Providence Agent''': He's got a bomb! Fall back! All units fall ba--
: '''Rex''': Whoa! That was--
: '''Black Knight''': Your room.
: '''Rex''': Huh? Aww, man! But... Six... Holiday... where--
: '''Black Knight''': Where do you think? They're out looking for you. Agent Six and Holiday took indefinite leave. They've been off the grid ever since. I've attempted to contact them, but no response.
: '''Rex''': Mind if... I give them a ring? Not that I don't trust you.
: '''Black Knight''': But you don't trust me. Natural, given the circumstances. Be my guest. It won't take long, to locate them. Meanwhile, there are many familiar faces who will be glad to hear you're back. Which reminds me... This is everything we salvaged from your room.
: '''Rex''': Huh. Talk about starting over.
: '''Black Knight''': You could you know. There's still a place for you in the--
: '''Rex''': My room. I thought you said it was trashed.
: '''Black Knight''': Rex, wait.
: '''Rex''': What's the matter, Black? This where you're hiding all your evil secrets?
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex''': Um... Wow!
: '''Black Knight''': This entire wing was destroyed in the blast. I had the space... repurposed.
: '''Rex''': White wouldn't even splurge for private stalls.
: '''Black Knight''': As you see, I treat my finest people to the very finest things.
: '''Rex''': Sure. I'll take one of those, please.
: '''Black Knight''': It's yours-- and anything else you'd like.
: '''Rex''': As long as I do whatever you want-- That it?
: '''Black Knight''': On the contrary-- you're a seasoned agent. I have a few boundaries, but otherwise, handle matters as you see fit.
: '''Rex''': Say I refuse.
: '''Black Knight''': Then I turn you over to mel. ''[chuckling]'' I'm kidding. You're free to leave whenever you like. But I hope you'll stay. Now, more than ever, Providence needs a Rex. So, how do you feel? Like I haven't used one of those in Six months-- Which I haven't. You mind? Bobo?
: '''Bobo''': Rex! Heard you were back. So great to see you, buddy. Whoa. Just a sec, there, pal. Gotta love those certain towelettes.
: ''[Bobo whistling]''
: '''Bobo''': What? Never seen a monkey wash his hands before?
: '''Rex''': Not this one.
: ''[Bobo munching]''
: '''Rex''': You wanna tell me what's gotten into you or what?
: '''Bobo''': What are you talking abou-- Unh! Hey!
: '''Rex''': Sorry. For a minute, I thought you were...
: '''Bobo''': Robo Bobo? Wanna check for a tv in my butt?
: '''Rex''': Pass. But come on. You've, I don't know, mellowed or something.
: '''Bobo''': Guess I just don't have a big need to act out these days, what with you and everyone gone. Plus, the employee benefits are pretty sweet.
: '''Black Knight''': Rex, we've got a little EVO problem. Providence could use your help. Ready to get back in the game?
: '''Rex''': If it involves getting out of here, that would be a &quot;yes.&quot; You coming?
: '''Bobo''': I'll join ya on the next one. I got Tai Chi at 2:00.
: '''Rex''': Missing an EVO smackdown? That doesn't sound like you.
: '''Bobo''': Did I mention the instructor has a thing for back hair?
: '''Rex:''' Ew. Okay. That sounds like you. What is it and where do I find it?
: '''Providence Agent''': We've got an EVO in the subway tunnels, people trapped in one of the trains. The power's out down there, too.
: '''Rex:''' Sounds like a street worm. Sure it's just one? Rex to H.Q. Okay, new chief, how do you want to do this?
: '''Black Knight:''' You're the expert.
: '''Rex:''' I am? Uh, I mean, of course I am. It's just that Six usually--
: '''Black Knight:''' You don't need help, Rex. Handle it as you see fit. Black, out.
: '''Rex:''' What's this strange feeling that's come upon me? Could it be...
: ''[Rex shudders]''
: '''Rex''': Responsibility?! Okay. Assemble your guys over there. Be ready for me. Should the guys grab flashlight. Or... better. Not a bad pre-show. Now for the main event.
: '''Providence Agent:''' How did you know?
: '''Rex:''' These things usually travel in pairs. I used lights from my builds to make it think I was another worm. Have your bug net handy. They're so cute after I shut them down.
: '''Rex:''' Sorry B.K. No can cure.
: '''Black Knight:''' Understood. Our team will take it from here.
: '''Rex:''' Um, take what where?
: '''Providence Agent:''' Move into the vehicle! Move... into... the vehicle! Hit her again!
: '''Rex:''' Um, what just happend?
: '''Black Knight:''' That's all for now, Rex. Nicely done.
: '''Rex:''' Hm. Wait. What are you gonna do with it?
: '''Providence Agent:''' Standard rehab and re-lo. It's all very humane.
: '''Rex:''' I'd love to see that. Mind if I tag along?
: '''Black Knight:''' Sorry, Rex. Authorized personnel only. You've done your job. Now let the team theirs.
: '''Rex:''' But--
: '''Black Knight:''' Boundaries, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' Boundaries. Got it. Rex, out.
: '''Caesar:''' Main container reached. Attach stabilizer ring.
: '''Rex:''' Humane? Yeah, right.
: ''[Bobo yawns]''
: '''Bobo:''' See? Great employee benefits.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. Right. Hey, you got a tag sticking out in the back. Mind if I--
: '''Bobo:''' Thanks, pal. Well, off to yoga.
: '''Caesar:''' You really shouldn't be here, hermano.
: '''Rex:''' The petting zoo? The worm? My monkey practicing good hygiene? You're using that thing to control my friend!
: '''Caesar:''' He's still the same Bobo you know and love. He just need a few boundaries.
: '''Rex:''' He's not the same, and neither are you! You should hear yourself!
: '''Caesar:''' Making the world safer isn't possible without some form of control. And you'd better get some control of yourself, mijo.
: '''Rex:''' Or what? You'll use that thing on me?
: '''Caesar:''' Open your eyes to all the good we're accomplishing. Isn't this better than smacking them with your giant fists?
: '''Rex:''' That's combat! I protect people and property! Okay, property, not so much, but this? If you can't see the difference, then maybe I never knew you at all!
: '''Caesar:''' It doesn't matter. I have work to do.
: '''Rex:''' So do I!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Uses his Smack Hands to smash everything around him]''
: '''Caesar:''' Rex! Stop!
: '''Black Knight:''' Snooping around, Rex? See, that's another one of my boundaries.
: '''Rex:''' White Knight may have had his issues, but he never resorted to anything like this!
: '''Black Knight:''' I never planned to do this, Rex, but you've become a danger.
: '''Rex''' ''[shocked]'': Caesar! Think! You can't do this!
: '''Caesar:''' Of course I'm thinking. This is the logical conclusion to what we started. 
: '''Rex:''' The logical-- Aaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Raaah! Aah!
: ''[Caesar blasts the mind-control laser, causing Rex to scream and groan in pain]''
: '''Caesar:''' Sorry, Rex. You'll thank me later.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' You... better... believe I will!
: '''Caesar:''' Please don't resist! It's only painful if you struggle!
: '''Black Knight:''' What's taking so long?
: '''Caesar:''' He's fighting it! His nantic energy is spiking off the scale!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Boost power.
: '''Caesar:''' It's not safe to--
: '''Black Knight:''' It's for the best. 
: ''[Caesar increases power, causing Rex's nanites to go haywire as a tear fall down his cheek, heartbroken about his own brother betraying him]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Manages to overpower the mind-control machine, much to the surprise and wonder of Caesar and Black Knight]''
: '''Rex:''' You just drew a line in the sand, bro! ''[runs off]''
: '''Black Knight:''' You'd better have a backup.
: '''Caesar:''' The prototype. Not portable, but more than enough power, even for him.
: '''Black Knight:''' Get it ready.
: '''Rex:''' Unh!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Rex:''' No mood to get slimed right now, mel!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Rex:''' What happened to your EVO control?
: '''Black Knight:''' A demonstration. You know what would happen without our influence.
: '''Rex:''' So, you're hijacking its brain, like you tried to do with mine.
: '''Black Knight:''' That won't be necessary if you'll willingly cooperate.
: '''Rex:''' Translation-- if I do everything you say.
: '''Black Knight:''' You've seen how we can work together. Providence still needs you. There will always be a few EVOs we can't control.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. I'm one of them.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Shall we pursue?
: '''Black Knight:''' Most definitely.
: '''Rex:''' Gangway! Coming through! Huh? No! Huh. Black Pawns. Overdoing the whole theme, don't you think?
: ''[Rex groaning]''
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Yah! I'm getting beat up by the chess club!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Black Knight:''' We... got off on the wrong foot. Stow the hardware and come with us. You have my word you won't be harmed. We can start over-- the right way.
: '''Bobo:''' You mind? You're interrupting the enjoyment of my employee benefits.
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: ''[Rex panting]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Black Knight:''' ''[after Rex was tranquilized]'' Excellent work. Take him to the lab.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex:''' What? No way! You're not turning my brain to mashed potatoes! Doc?!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Welcome back, Rex.
: '''Six:''' Good to see you, kid.
: '''Rex:''' Before I blame this on a Burrito-induced nightmare, will someone please tell me-- What... Is... Going... On?!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' What do you think? We've been looking for you.
: '''Six:''' We knew Providence might find you first. Fortunately, we planted a mole.
: '''Bobo:''' Ehh. Rex! Put 'er there!
: '''Rex:''' Uhh! You didn't wash! Oh! You didn't wash! But that means... that he really was... Robo Bobo?
: '''Bobo:''' In the flesh.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Literally. I gave it a biological upgrade, complete with his own nanites and... fleas, ticks, lice, chigger mites.
: '''Bobo:''' What can I say? I'm an ecosystem.
: '''Six:''' It's enough to fool your brother's equipment. The robot is only providing limited intel. But one thing is sure-- new Providence is about more than just getting Evos off the streets.
: '''Rex:''' I saw it. Whatever they're doing over there is seriously messed up.
: '''Six:''' That's why we've set up our own operation.
: '''Rex:''' Whoa! Where did you get all of this?
: '''Six:''' We have our sources.
: '''Rex:''' So, we're like super secret spies now? Cool!
:''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex:''' It's too bad about White, though. I never thought I'd say it, but I'm gonna miss that pasty guy.
: '''White Knight:''' How touching, Rex. I, on the other hand, would rather enjoyed the last six Rex-free months. Now... if we're done with the love-in, we have work to do.
: '''Rex:''' It really can't get any better than this. Oh, except one thing-- can I get a TV?

===Crash and Burn===
*From this episode, Rex can create two builds at once
:''[Bobo yawns]''
:'''Bobo:''' They say nothin' good happens after midnight. And, you know, they're right.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I'm worried about you, Bobo. Since we left Providence, you've been staying out every night.
:''[Bobo grunts]''
:''[Bobo munching]''
:''[Bobo gulps]''
:'''Bobo:''' That's not the least of your worries. Seen our boy lately?
:''[Dr. Holiday scoffs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex is fine. He just needs time to adjust to our new setting. Rex? It's Holiday. Are you there?
:'''Rex:''' Hey, doc. What up?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Just checking in. Everything okay?
:'''Rex:''' Better than okay. I'm about to set a new land-speed record'
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That wasn't what I meant. How are you feeling?
:'''Rex:''' Appreciate the concern, but the only thing on my mind right now is the need for speed. Apparently, I'm not alone. I'll call you back. Hey! Slow down! I want to talk to you! Ah. You want to play chicken. Doc? Bobo? I'm getting blitzed by some bikers. Aah!
:'''Rand:''' Might as well give up! I won't quit! I'm a relentless, never-say-die, nonstop-- Uh, hey, wait a minute. Who are you?
:'''Rex:''' Think you could have asked me that before trying to run me down?
:'''Rand:''' Ooh! My fault. I thought you were one of us.
:'''Rex:''' &quot;One of us&quot;? What is this?
:'''Rand:''' Sorry, dude. No time to chat. Peace.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, like I'm gonna take that for an answer. A street race? Or a demolition derby?
:''[Lance grunts]''
:''[Lance groans]''
:'''Lance:''' Gonna need a bike.
:'''Rex:''' Can't believe you survive that! You must be the luckiest guy on the-- These are nanites.
:''[Lance groans]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Oh, come on!
:'''Six:''' Something wrong?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Prototypes. I prefer tried-and-tested. And I don't even know what we're going to do with half of this stuff.
:'''Bobo:''' You're goin' soft, gettin' worked over by a bunch of goofballs on motorcycles.
:'''Rex:''' They had weapons.
:'''Bobo:''' Last time I checked, so did you.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, but not while I'm on my bike. I'm strictly one at a time.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The nanites that have infected his body are slowly poisoning him. I've never seen anything like it.
:'''Rex:''' Do what you can, Doc? I'm gonna go out and look for those racers.
:'''Bobo:''' Sounds dangerous.
:'''Rex:''' Sure, Bobo. You can come, too. The nanites we found on the biker gave off a different energy signature. Gonna use one of Holiday's new toys to try to scan for it. A bunch of them. And they're moving fast.
:'''Bobo:''' Then step on it! Maybe Holiday has a point about prototypes!
:'''Rex:''' Or maybe they're not on the streets. I'll watch the road. You watch the screen.
:'''Bobo:''' Gotta warn you-- Chimps make bad navigators!
:'''Rex:''' Just do it!
:'''Bobo:''' Hmm? Left! You're goin' left! Make a right! Another right!
:'''Rex:''' Which way?
:'''Bobo:''' I don't know! That way-ish! Wah! Like I said-- Monkeys make great navigators! This is your biker gang?
:'''Rex:''' They had weapons before I'm telling you-- They're tough!
:'''Bobo:''' If you say so.
:''[Bobo grunts]''
:'''Bobo:''' Wall.
:''[Bobo and Rex grunts]''
:'''Moss:''' That's some fancy ridin'. You following us, kid?
:'''Rex:''' Still think they don't look tough?
:'''Bobo:''' I take it back.
:'''Moss:''' Who are you, kid? 'Cause whoever you are, you're not bad.
:'''Rand:''' You're awesome! Where'd you learn to ride like that? Anybody with that kind of skill should be with us. Yeah!
:'''Moss:''' What's your secret?
:'''Rex:''' No secret. I'm just built that way.
:'''Lunk:''' Is that guy from TV-- The one who fights EVOs.
:'''Bobo:''' Five bucks for pictures, ten bucks for autographs.
:'''Rand:''' A talking monkey! Outrageous! I gotta have one. Is he for sale?
:'''Bobo:''' Brother, you can't afford me.
:'''Rex:''' You guys seem tight-- For guys who try to kill each other.
:'''Rand:''' We're not killers. We're racers. This is a legitimate sport.
:'''Moss:''' It is what it is. Our races aren't for the weak. Name's Moss. You've met Rand.
:'''Rex:''' He tried to blow me up.
:'''Rand:''' I missed. You're welcome. Come on, don't leave me hangin'.
:'''Moss:''' Never met a celebrity who could ride.
:'''Rex:''' I caught you, didn't I?
:'''Moss:''' But are you tough enough try me?
:'''Rex:''' Try me.
:'''Bobo:''' You gotta fight back?
:'''Rex:''' With what?
:'''Bobo:''' Oh, brother. Fine, leave it to Chimpy. Aah! I'll take that. Phbt!
:'''Rex:''' Something else on the map-- Moving fast! And it's big!
:'''Providence Agent:''' Halt! You kids! Pull over! Now!
:'''Moss:''' Cops!
:'''Bobo:''' Worst than cops-- Providence.
:'''Rex:''' The bikes give off a nanite signature. They must have tracked it.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Rex, what are you doing here?
:'''Rex:''' Research. You don't want to get caught up in this! Back off now! Sorry, guys. Have Black Knight sent me the bill.
:'''Rand:''' Ha! No way! You want to beat me, you gotta step your game up. Aah!
:''[Rand groans]''
:'''Rex:''' Rand!
:'''Bobo:''' Don't stop! Kid's wearing armor. He's fine.
:'''Rex:''' No! Something's wrong!
:''[Rand groans]''
:'''Rex:''' What is this thing? Doc? Get over here quick. We've got another one.
:'''Biker gangs:''' WHOO-HOO-HOO!
:''[Biker gangs laughs]''
:'''Biker gangs:''' Yeah!
:'''Moss:''' We thought you'd bailed on us. Where were you?
:'''Rex:''' Watching a doctor try to save Rand's life.
:'''Moss:''' Racers get sick sometimes. It's part of the life.
:'''Rex:''' Those nanite power sources-- you got to stop using them. To feel one with the road, that rush? So some people get sick. When we're on our rides, nothing else matters.
:'''Rex:''' Your rides are killing you! You're gonna be dead-- All of you! And for what? So you can go a little faster?
:'''Moss:''' We need those things to ride. You know what it's like.
:'''Lunk:''' Please. Don't take our bikes away.
:'''Rex:''' Nobody's going to take your bikes. But I need to know where you got those nanites.
:'''Lunk:''' ''[sighs]'' A guy named Valve. He supplies the superchargers.
:'''Moss:''' You're wasting your time. Valve never talks to anybody.
:'''Rex:''' He'll talk to me.
:'''Bobo:''' Been in a lot of bad biker dives, but this is the worst I've ever seen.
:'''Valve:''' Enter, strangers. The biker will see you now. Please, sit. May I offer you some tea?
:'''Rex:''' I'll pass.
:'''Valve:''' Suit yourself. I find a good cup of tea soothing-- for the body and the soul.
:''[Valve slurps]''
:'''Valve:''' You don't have to tell the biker why you're here. The biker can tell. You wish to buy a supercharger.
:''[Valve slurps]''
:'''Rex:''' Your superchargers are killing people. It's gonna stop.
:''[Valve breathes deeply]''
:'''Valve:''' Hmm. That sounds like a challenge.
:'''Rex:''' Maybe it is. I'll race you for them. If I win, you hand over your entire stockpile.
:'''Valve:''' Shh! Your answer is on the wind.
:'''Rex:''' You're... not right in the head, are you?
:'''Valve:''' When the wind commands, the impossible game must be gamed. The challenge is accepted. We will race for the superchargers. And when the biker wins... It won't matter.
:'''Rex:''' Why is that?
:'''Valve:''' Because you'll be dead. Let the race begin.
:'''Moss:''' This is his own private track. He knows it better than anyone. You can still back out-- Probably.
:'''Rex:''' And let people become poison, like Valve? No. I can take him. Just give me something to hit him with. You guys are walking arsenals. You don't have anything?
:'''Moss:''' You didn't think we'd need 'em today.
:'''Bobo:''' Oh, boy.
:'''Six:''' Message from Holiday. The two sick teens have stabilized, but she's still a ways from finding a cure.
:'''Rex:''' It was the only weapon I could find, okay? Can I borrow the sword?
:'''Six:''' Use your own.
:'''Rex:''' On wheels? It's not gonna happen.
:'''Six:''' What's stopping you?
:'''Rex:''' Well, for one thing, I-- Um, not sure exactly.
:'''Six:''' What have I been teaching you? Focus on what you want and make it happen. No more excuses.
:''[Bobo munching]''
:''[Bobo munching]''
:'''Valve:''' You're lucky. One the very best get a chance at this track.
:'''Rex:''' Then I should fit right in. Rules of the game-- ten laps. Cross the finish line before the biker, and you may have them.
:'''Rex:''' So, is the wind talking to you now?
:'''Valve:''' The wind commands the Biker to destroy you. The Biker is happy to oblige.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Bobo:''' You gonna help him?
:'''Six:''' He's doing fine.
:'''Bobo:''' Are you watchin' the same race I am?
:''[Valve grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' You're in trouble, Rex! No. Keep it together. Keep... it... together. Six said it-- Focus. Focus. Focus!
:''[Valve laughs]''
:'''Valve:''' Oblivion.
:'''Six:''' Like I sad-- He's doing fine.
:'''Rex:''' Double-up! Where have you been all my life?
:''[Valve grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Cute toy. But I like mine better.
:'''Valve:''' Aah!
:'''Rex:''' Was there any doubt?
:'''Bobo:''' Yeah, plenty.
:''[Valve panting]''
:'''Rex:''' We had the deal. Remember?
:'''Valve:''' Like the storm that changes directions on a whim, the biker is changing the deal. 'Cause the biker-- ''[grunts]'' Doesn't like! ''[grunts]'' The biker-- ''[grunts]'' never loses! ''[grunts]'' Unh!
:'''Rex:''' First time for everything. Thank you, Six.
:'''Six:''' It was all you, kid.
:'''Moss:''' Rand!
:'''Biker gangs:''' Oh, Rand! Good to see you!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Completely detoxified. In a couple days, they'll be back to full strength. Those could be useful at the new base.
:'''Moss:''' You can't stop us from riding.
:'''Rex:''' What's stopping you? You can still ride. You just won't be poisoned by nanites. Come on. Race you back to the garage.
:''[Rex rides off]''
:'''Moss:''' ''[Chasing after Rex]'' You heard the man. Hit it!
:'''Six:''' You do realize we just turned a group of reckless teenage boys loose on the city.
:'''Bobo:''' All in a day's work.

===Heroes United, Part 1===
:'''Caesar:''' Now where are you? So it ''is'' you. This is most disturbing.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Ben:''' You know the friend you care about!? Well, I have a cousin, a grandfather, a best friend that I care about!! They don't exist here! I may never see them again! I'm totally alone! So go ahead! Do your worst.
: '''Rex:''' Maybe we can help each other.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I'm curious how big brother knows about something from a parallel dimension.
: '''Caesar:''' Because I sent it there. In the early days of the Nanite Project, our goal was simple. Construct microscopic machines to cure diseases, grow new cells, regenerate bones. They was a control issue. Some thought a human-machine link was the answer. Others proposed that the machines control themselves. I was in latter cam. I developed the Alpha to control other nanites. To maximize its effectiveness, I had to program Alpha to think for itself. 
:'''Ben:''' Does a low explanation mean something bad on your Earth too?
:'''Rex:''' Yep.
:'''Caesar:''' Alpha developed its own consciousness. It evolved into a unique life-form. It wanted a body, but whatever it built burned out. So when Alpha attempted possessing living this, Alpha had to be eliminated. So I built a dimensional disruptor.
:'''Ben:''' Looks like a Null Void gun. We got some like those back home, too.

===Heroes United, Part 2===
:'''Alpha:''' The nanites in those creatures. They are different, powerful. Your nanites are weak. I have no use for you. Where is the boy?
:'''Holiday:''' His nanites are off limits!!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' My brother!? Look around! He's not here!
:'''Alpha:''' The father is redundant. Now that I found you.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Alpha:''' I cannot merge! What makes you so special, human? Yes. You shelter an Omega.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''White Knight:''' Don't let it get to Rex! If it drains his nanites-!
:'''Diamondhead:''' Game over. I get it.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex''': My most powerful builds came from the Omega nanite. A lot of people are going to get hurt and I can't stop it. What happens when the best you can do just isn't enough?
:'''Ben''': You get an Upgrade.
:'''Rex:''' Weren't you listening? Alpha has the Omega.
:'''Ben:''' I'm not talking about a nanite.
:(''Transforms into Upgrade'')
:'''Rex''':  Hey, what are you- ''[Upgrade merges with Rex]'' Whoa, okay, that feels weird. ''[Upgrade covers Rex's body like a suit]'' Wow, what supposed to happen now? ''[Upgrade's head appears on Rex's left shoulder]'' Uh...don't do that, you freaking me out!
:'''Upgrade''': Build something!
:'''Rex''': ''[Builds a Smack Arm, which is modified by Upgrade]'' Sweet, so what's the plan?
:'''Upgrade''': You build stuff, I make it better. Fight fight fight, we win!
:'''Rex''':  Works for me! ''[Rex builds a Boogie Pack and blasts off]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Alpha''': Organics who rely on machines for their power, I don't need. The machines themselves, now those I will have.
===Phantom of the Soap Opera===
:'''Rex Salazar:''' In a world he never chose and barely understands... ''[Rex looks over the countryside from a cliff, jumps and lands in a snow scene]'' One incredibly good looking guy fights for us all. His name...you know it baby...Rex. ''[jumps into a lake scene]'' Forget train wrecks... ''[punches]'' And car wrecks... ''[kicks]'' Nothing brings the pain like this Rex. ''[runs into city scene. EVO walks down street, Rex runs up, jumps, grabs EVO's head and tears it off. Holds it over his head in victory gesture.]''
:'''Actor in costume:''' Yeah, yeah, that's hilarious kid.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Ah, anytime you want to stop trying to get me fired get back to the tour.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Sorry. Got caught up in the moment.
:'''Actor in costume:''' Ah, dude?
:''[Rex puts head back on the man in EVO costume.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' And on your left, the sound stage where they make the hit TV show Middle School Talent show.
:''[Teen girls on tour squeal and run towards it.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' That's a closed set. ''[Noah pulls on his hair]'' C'mon, this is my first week as a page, I could lose my job!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I got this. ''[pulls girls back from stage with turbines]'' I just don't get girls, how come they get so... ''[notices something behind Noah, acts all excited]'' Huh hu oh huh... oh El Amor de la Pasion del Amor! Why didn't you tell me EADLPDA was made here?
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Um, probably because I didn't really believe you actually still watch a soap opera.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' It's a telenovela. The actresses are smoking hot. And I don't have cable?...ah c'mon dude don't be a hater. ''[crosses arms]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Whatever. We're not going in there, they get like ten safety violations a week, no one's allowed in accept crew and studio staff.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' You mean like pages? ''[Brushes Noah's shoulder with his hand, smiling. Noah brushes his hand away.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' No way. My boss is a total butt-buster for the rules and she is always watching. ''[makes binocular with his hands]''
:'''Head Page:''' You got that right bub. ''[Rex looks behind him, and jumps away]'' By the way Page, you lose something? ''[has three girls from Noah's tour group tied up in a rope]'' Found these wandering over by Middle School Talent Show. ''[Noah runs over and unties them, rope falls]''
:'''Head Page:''' ''[points to her left eye]'' I got my one good eye on you, Nixon.
:''[On set of telenovela]''
:''[Isabella crying]''
:'''Reymundo:''' Pensabas que yo era tu marido. ¡Pero fue una mentira! Pero la verdad es que soy Reymundo, el hermano diabólico de Reynaldo.
:'''Isabella:''' Yo sé, pero todavía te amo.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[standing by salad bar in cafeteria looking up at TV screen]'' How can anyone say that's not great!
:''[Man in cowboy hat tips his hat to Noah]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Whoa? Celebrities know you?
:''[There are drinks on their trays at this point, then in the next frame there are no drinks on their trays and they go over to get drinks.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' The only one here who knows my name is my boss. I'm just a newb on an internship.
:''[Blond girl puts her hand on Noah's shoulder and reaches across him to get a soda, walks away, looks back and gives him a finger gun.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Yeah right, you just got a finger gun from TV weather lady Summer Sonnenshine.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' It's the page jacket not me, if you put this thing on everyone would think you work here. Still. I gotta admit it's pretty cool.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Y'know, I didn't even know you'd applied for this. But I guess when you jump ahead in time you gotta expect some surprises...OH MY GOSH... ''[drops tray]'' It's Isabella, from El Amor del Pasion del Amor.
:''[Rex throws up his arms, knocks tray into Noah's chest spilling it all over his jacket]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' AHHH!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I know she's even hotter in real life than she is on the...
:'''Noah Nixon:''' ''[looks down at tray and jacket]'' Ohhhhh...
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Okay, okay don't worry...
:'''Head Page:''' ''[yelling at another page behind Rex]'' You call yourself a page!
:'''Rex:''' Okay worry. ''[puts his fingers together]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' This is a huge violation of the dress code, oh I am so fired!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No you're not. Come on, move!
:''[They run to a supply closet.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' I've gotta lead another tour in 45 minutes. We can't get to a dry cleaners and back in 45 minutes.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' This is my bad, but I can fix this. ''[Noah panicking, rocking and hyperventilating]'' We just have to calm down and think. Just calm down. ''[Rex points at Noah]'' Noah, calm down!
:''[Rex grabs a bottle of pickles off the shelf, opens the lid and throw contents of jar at Noah's head. A pickle ends up in Noah's mouth, he spits it out.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Not helping. ''[Noah, calm now and not hyperventilating and rocking, wipes pickle juice out of his eyes.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Okay, listen we passed the wardrobe department on the tour, they've gotta have a washer and dryer right?
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Uh... yeah, I guess?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Alright, good, give me your outfit and stay put, I'll take care of everything else.
:''[Scene change. Sign which says laundry stages commissary.]''
:''[Rex runs towards laundry, passes stage of telenovela. Grins and stops. Looks into open door. Looks down at soiled jacket. Up at stage doorway. Walks away. Runs back and grins bigger. Walks into stage with Noah's jacket on.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh...
:'''Isabella:''' Finally! You are here!
:''[Isabella kisses Rex all over his face.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' This is happening, right? I'm not going to wake up and be making out with my pillow again am I?
:'''Isabella:''' Come with me, they want to cancel us you know. That's why the studio puts us here in this place falling apart with all the accidentes.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Soap operas do not get the respect they deserve.
:'''Isabella:''' You are very wise for your age. We don't even go backstage anymore. Too dangerous.
:''[A silhouette of a rat is seen, it squeaks]''
:'''Beatriz:''' Is that our page?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh...
:''[Rex falls]''
:'''Isabella:''' He's mine, I saw him first!
:''[Rex gets up and Isabella grabs him.]''
:'''Isabella:''' He is mine!!!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hum?
:'''Beatriz:''' Why don't we let him decide?
:'''[Rex is being pulled back and forth]''
:'''Isabella:''' You would like that wouldn't you?
:'''Beatriz:''' Yes I would! Very much.
:'''Isabella:''' Fine.
:''[Girls growl at each other and walk away.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[grinning]'' Did they just cat-fight over me?
:''[The girls come back with lists.]''
:'''Isabella:''' Here is a list of what I need you to do!
:'''Beatriz:''' And here's mine!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' You want me to work on the show?
:'''Beatriz:''' Claro que si, we haven't had a page on set in ages.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' But I'm not ... ''[looks over the girls]'' ...able to think of one reason why I would pass this up.
:''[Screen cuts to Noah looking out the door. He sees the chief page and closes the door quickly, after that, the scene changes back to Rex carrying boxes of water with yogurt on top.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I got your yogurt, but I couldn't find the water you wanted. So I got these.
:'''Isabella:''' You are dead to me! But I will take this one. ''[takes yogurt]''
:''[Rex stares in shock and drops the boxes full of water.]''
:''[Old man walks in a dressing room, and Reynaldo comes out soon later.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Whoa, it's Reynaldo! Uh, coffee? ''[offers him a mug of coffee]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' Gracias.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Leche?
:'''Reynaldo:''' How dare you! I am lactose intolerant.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh, okay, didn't know that. Sugar?
:''[Reynaldo knocks the sugar out of his hand.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' Real men take their coffee strong and hot. Are you suggesting that I am not a real man?
:''[Rex looks around and the phone rings.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Rex, where are you?
:'''Reynaldo:''' No phone! ''[Reynaldo knocks the phone out of his hand.]'' You will talk to me face to face. Mano a mano! ''[grabs Rex's jacket]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey wait what are you... ''[Reynaldo pulls Rex away from table. Stage light falls where Rex was standing]'' ...Oh, thanks!
:''[Everyone runs up to them.]''
:'''Beatriz:''' Not another accidente!
:'''Isabella:''' ''[scared]'' Ay. Dios mio! No!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' It's okay, I'm fine.
:'''Isabella:''' ''[pushes Rex down]'' My jogurt!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I'd hate to be the guy that has to clean that up... ''[whispers to man though they look at him]'' Oh. ''[Reynaldo hands him the mop.]''
:'''Beatriz:''' If I didn't know better, I'd say that someone was trying to kill us.
:'''Reynaldo:''' Someone is. The head of the studio is trying to kill our soap opera. That's why he put us in this accursed stage, with all these accidentes. But we... ''[another stage light falls and hits his head, he falls to the ground]'' Aahh... Por que? Ay.
:''[Rex looks up and sees a mongoose...runs after it...goes backstage. Sees clowns and a sign saying “Mongo”.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Ugh! Clowns.
:''[The mongoose squeaks.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Lemme guess. You're the one who's been causing all the accidents.
:''[Mongo growls, bears teeth]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Okay, let's say we can wrap this up quietly. Last thing I need is someone wondering why the guy in the page jacket can do this. ''[wraps Mongo up in the whip thing, Mongo gets tiny, escapes, growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Guess that explains how you've been able to hide out back here. ''[Mongo pulls lever cannon comes out of floor and fires at Rex. Platform falls Rex dodges. Mongo squeaks]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Can we please do this a little more quietly and with a lot less YOU trying to kill me?
:''[Mongo jumps into the “O” of his name on the sign.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Wait, that's you, isn't it? You just want your job back. I can help you. ''[reaches in and tries to cure him Mongo runs out and traps Rex's hand]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Enough with the booby traps, I'm trying to help you. ''[Mongo sets off another trap]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh-oh. [makes big fist, weight on rope swings and hits Rex, makes noise]
:'''Beatriz:''' What's going on back there?
:'''Isabella:''' Where is that page? I am beginning to wonder ...HOW LONG IS IT GOING TO TAKE FOR HIM TO CLEAN UP MY JOGURT!!!!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[Getting thrown around back stage]'' Ouch. ''[gets beat up by mechanical clowns]''
:''[Mongo cuts stars from ceiling they fall and cut Rex's jacket]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Ok, New plan-- First I smash your face, then I cure you.
:''[Mongo knocks over equipment]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No. ''[grabs equipment, Mongo jumps on his arm, punches him and he falls]'' Oww! Look out!
:''[Actors run from set, Rex falls and smashes set]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uhh, okay here's the deal—all the accidents you've been having they were caused by an EVO backstage. It used to be a mongoose and now it wants it's old job back. ''[last wall of stage set falls behind him]''
:'''Beatriz:''' What are jou talking about?
:'''Isabella:''' We just saw you ruin our set.
:'''Reynaldo:''' You are trying to destroy this soap opera just like the rest of them! It is true what they say, this sound stage must be cursed for us to have such a horrible page such as you, Senior... ''[looks at name badge]'' Noah Nixon.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Whoa, wait. This isn't Noah's fault.
:''[Three actors gasps]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' ''[tears off his own shirt]'' Now you insult us by talking about yourself in the third person! Somehow we must rebuild and finish our shoot! But as soon as we do, Noah Nixon, I will have you fired!
:''[Workers fixing set, Rex's phone rings.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Rex! Finally. How's the jacket?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Umm. Well, the good news is you won't notice the stain anymore. Hey uh, by the way, your page training, did it include anything about the creepy backstage in studio B?
:'''Noah Nixon: What? Why are you--
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No reason. I was just thinking, hypothetically, what would happen if I used your jacket to take a quick peek at the telenovela and ended up chasing some killer EVO mongoose? Hypothetically... Uh...Noah?
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Sorry, just trying to figure out how to tell my parents I have no future.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey I got this. I hit a little snag. Just keep your pants on.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' ''[sitting the maintenance closet in his underwear]'' Heh!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Sorry, look, you don't have anything to worry about all I have to do is catch the EVO before they finish shooting and clear my... your name.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' You know what? I'm not worried. I am completely resigned to the fact that I am losing my job. ''[Noah hangs up on Rex. Rex hears dial tone.]''
:'''Beatriz:''' ''[to Reynaldo]'' You are bleeding!
:'''Reynaldo:''' What I am is an actor! We must shoot this scene. We cannot let them cancel us! ''[moans and falls on his face crushing a chair]''
:'''Beatriz:''' You cannot go on.
:'''Isabella:''' If only there were someone else here who knows our show, is fluent in Spanish, and will do a scene in which he kisses me.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I'll do it!!!
:'''Reynaldo:''' You? The one who ruined our set and lied about the EVO? I'd rather die! But then, my life will surely end if the show is canceled, so maybe... But no! It's impossible. But yet, what is more impossible than a dream. Nothing means more than my dream of saving this telenovela!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' So, is that a--
:'''Reynaldo:''' Si. You will be our savior. And then I will have you fired. Accion!
:''[Rex is dressed as Reynaldo. Takes Isabella in his arms and looks deep into her eyes, smiles..then turns away, sees Mongo and gasps. Isabella pulls his face back to her and puckers for a kiss. Mongo squeaks and runs out the door and Rex turns his eyes towards it.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[thinking]'' Okay no kiss, but you're gonna save Noah's job! ''[groans]'' Nope. Doesn't make it any better. ''[Runs out Isabelle runs after him, trips on his wig and falls to the ground gasping, reaching after him]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[makes Rex Ride to chase Mongo down alley. Runs into a set. Falls]'' Where'd you go?
:'''Guy in suit:''' You! Page! Take this script to post, pronto.
:'''Rex Salazar: Hey wait, I'm not--
:'''Guy in suit:''' Oh? You're not going to do it? Are you talking back to me Mr.... Nixon?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No. Mr. Nixon is not definitely not talking back to whoever you are. ''[takes script, leaves]''
:'''Guy in suit:''' Nixon! ''[Points in the other direction of where Rex was going. Rex goes where he's pointing]''
:''[Rex walks by alley hears Mongo munching garbage, sneaks up, tries to cure it. It escapes, Rex corners it in dead end alley]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Oh you're not so tough when you can't hide, are you? ''[Mongo growls and grows huge]'' Oh so you can do that too. ''[Mongo roars, swipes at Rex with claws]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey, watch the jacket. I'm in enough trouble already. ''[Sets down scripts. Big fists. Mongo shrinks to escape. Rex falls to the ground. Mongo gets huge again behind him, tries to stomp on Rex, Rex rolls out of the way, Mongo shrinks and runs away, Rex climbs out of hole in ground breathing heavily and falls to ground.]''
:'''Guy in suit:''' ''[walks up]'' Are you kidding me? You still haven't delivered that script? ''[Rex runs off]''
:'''Guy in suit:''' Nixon! ''[points in other direction, Rex runs that way]''
:''[Mongo jumps off roof grows huge lands on Rex, grabs script.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey, gimme that! ''[grabs Mongo with big fist throws him into a stage building]''
:''[Rex looks in the hole into the stage.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Sorry. ''[runs off after Mongo]''
:''[Mongo throws him higher than the roof tops, Rex lands on big feet, Mongo tackles him. Rex lands in front of the post building, grabs remains of script out of Mongo's mouth. Mongo runs away, Rex gathers script remains and hands it to man at post door.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I think this is for you. ''[runs after Mongo]''
:''[Phone rings]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Did you catch it?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Not yet, but I delivered a script for you, well, most of it.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' I am so dead.
:'''Lady with clipboard:''' ''[grabs Rex by the collar]'' Noah Nixon, you're right on time for your two p.m. tour. ''[Gives Rex clipboard and keys]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[Driving tram with tourists]'' Uh, there's a building where some TV shows are made and there's another one and oh great there's the giant killer EVO.
:''[Mongo chasing tram, Rex steps on gas. Tram goes sloooow. Mongo attacks tram. Rex lands, catches tourists with big hands, flies off on hoverboard]''
:'''Tourist:''' They had better special effects at my kids' school play.
:''[Back on soap opera stage]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' I need a bigger reaction from you. Bigger!
:''[Rex crashes through ceiling with Mongo hanging on the bottom of his hoverboard, heading towards Isabella.]''
:''[Isabella screams and covers head, Mongo crashes into set]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' Yes! That's it exactly!
:''[Mongo growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Be careful or you're gonna get the hand. ''[big fists with right hand. Mongo jumps at him, Rex grins and raises his left hand and cures Mongo. Mongo lays on ground cute and unconscious.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' That's not the hand I meant.
:''[Actors, stunned, applaud]''
:''[Rex picks up Mongo.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' You are a good page, Noah Nixon.
:''[Mongo wakes up runs around on Rex and perches on his shoulder cutely.]''
:''[At supply closet with Noah, Rex walks in holding torn up jacket]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Oh, my jacket! ''[Cuddles jacket, then holds it up and glares at Rex through the hole in it. Rex grins guiltily.]''
:''[Head Page walks in, Noah hides jacket, then realizes he is in underwear and tries to hide himself behind jacket.]''
:'''Head Page:''' I got a dozen calls from all over the lot about you, Nixon. I don't know what you were thinking. ''[He sits down, sweat runs down his face, he closes his eyes, frowns, runs head away. Head page grabs him and hugs him.]''
:'''Head Page:''' I'm proud of you, kiddo! It took me sixty seven years to make chief page. I bet you'll get the job in half that time. ''[Noah stands up holding jacket in front of him. Rex and Noah look puzzled Head Page walks to door, turns back]''
:'''Head Page:''' Oh and them soap opera fellas, eh, they got a special reward for you. ''[they look at each other with puzzled frowns]''
:''[Telenovela stage, Noah dressed as Reynaldo. Isabella kisses him.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' And cut! You look differante than you did before, Noah Nixon. ''[Noah looks up at his blond eyebrows and takes off the wig and mustache. Smiles at Reynaldo. Reynaldo looks at him thoughtfully.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' I can see you've been to makeup. Good you finally look like a real man! ''[Noah smiles.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' [peeking in from backstage, makes a jealous face as Noah is laughing together with the actors.] It's OK, it's OK. You're a good friend, you're a good friend.
:'''Guy in suit:''' You! Quit talking to yourself and get me some coffee! ''[Rex runs off]'' Nixon!
:''[Mongo looking down from rafters]''

===Riddle of the Sphinx===
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' They uncovered the tunnel during routine sewer work. No one has set foot in here in over 3.500 years.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Providence doesn't work the location yet?
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' ''[laughs]'' The antiquities comission does not like this Black Knight. They keep her busy with much paperwork.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The maze looks like it extends for miles. They do that to keep looters out?
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' Or to keep something in.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Anything that was trapped in here couldn't be alive after all this time.
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' I-I-I must go.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''': Watch out! Bobby traps.
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' That's not what I'm afraid of.
:'''Bobo:''' It's only been a few days since we heard from Holiday.
:'''Six:''' Something's wrong.
:'''Bobo:''' Maybe she wanted a vacation from you clowns. &quot;Something's wrong.&quot;
:''[Bobo grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Providence! She in is trouble.
:'''Six:''' Black Knight. And she has your better half.
:'''Bobo:''' I'm predictin' an awkward situation.
:'''Black Knight:''' Hello, Rex. If you came for your friend, I'll have to disappoint you.
:'''Rex:''' That hairy creep? You can keep the traitor. Hey! My faithful guide, why don't you go away while we discuss business?
:'''Bobo:''' It's me, you dopey tin can! Beat it! Or the boss lady's gonna get wise to our little switcheroo.
:'''Rex:''' What's the campout for?
:'''Black Knight:''' Routine scientific research.
:'''Rex:''' Look, I know Holiday was here. What'd you do with her?
:'''Black Knight:''' We arrived an hour ago. The locals say Holiday unleashed a monster down in the tunnels. The situation's under control. As soon as we've secured the tunnels, I'll send a team in to see if she's still alive.
:'''Rex:''' I'm going with you.
:'''Black Knight:''' You're going nowhere. You quit Providence. Unless you're recosindering?
:'''Rex:''' Come on, guide. Holiday's in those tunnels. But Black Knight has a whole battalion of Providence goons guarding the entrance.
:'''Six:''' I figured she'd be no help. That's why I found someone who knows a back way in.
:'''Egyptian Cooker:''' The Kushari is healthy. For the stomach, good.
:'''Rex:''' Enough about the Kushari! Where's the back entrance?
:'''Egyptian Cooker:''' For so young, you in such a hurry. And old cook like me, I live by selling Kushari. Why not buy some? You buy, I give you more information.
:'''Bobo:''' Ah, come on. Stop bein' so stingy. Buy some more.
:'''Six:''' Where's the back entrance?
:'''Egyptian Cooker:''' The sewer man-- They came to fix a leak. They found the tunnel to the entrance in my basement.
:'''Bobo:''' Mmm!
:'''Rex:''' Way cool! Maybe we'll see some mummies!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Tell us where Holiday is!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Where do you think I am?
:'''Six:''' Holiday!
:'''Bobo:''' So, what's with the halloween get up, doc?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I found it in one of the chambers. Scares off the curious. I need to get to the bottom of all this before Black Knight.
:'''Rex:''' The bottom of what? This is all ancient history?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You can this ancient history?
:'''Rex:''' That looks like a nanite!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That's because it is a nanite.
:'''Six:''' How could they have knowledge back then?
:'''Rex:''' Aliens! Like the ones that built the pyramids.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' None of this is more advanced that the 21st century. It's not aliens. I think the answers lie behind this door. But I can't figure out how to open it.
:'''Rex:''' Open the door? No problem, Doc!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Stop! This whole place is booby-trapped. We open this wrong, they'll bring the tunnels down on us.
:'''Rex:''' If there's a wrong way to open it, then that means there's a right way, too. Maybe the nanite picture is a clue. The whole thing is rigged like one. Told you-- No prob. Whoa, mumies.
:'''Bobo:''' What are you lookin' at, beautiful?
:'''Rex:''' Ha! Awesome! I'd love to see the look on Knight's face when she finds out we've beat her here.
:'''Black Knight:''' Then let me step a little closer so you can see.
:'''Six:''' How'd you find us?
:'''Black Knight:''' Your mole helped me.
:'''Bobo:''' Sorry, pal.
:'''Black Knight:''' I should have known better. It's old junk from the dead.
:''[Black Knight gasps]''
:'''Guranset:''' Gharun Set is not dead.
:'''Rex:''' Put her down!
:'''Black Knight:''' This isn't the time for violence. Our host has forgotten his manners. I presume he hasn't had guests in a long time.
:'''Guranset:''' Almost an eternity. Gharun Set said has waited for his release. Awaken this cursed prison through the ages.
:'''Black Knight:''' You speak English. That is interesting. Who taught your own language, Gharun Set?
:'''Guranset:''' I was taught by the great father.
:'''Black Knight:''' Father? What did he look me?
:'''Guranset:''' He is dead-- As all of you soon shall be!
:'''Black Knight:''' Now's the time for violence.
:'''Guranset:''' Aah!
:'''Black Knight:''' A nanite disrupter. Something I had your brother's lab whip up. It's quite lethal.
:'''Rex:''' Looks like the lab forgot to tell him that.
:'''Guranset:''' The boy controls the engines of life? It can't be. I laid low the armies of six kingdoms, swordsman. You think your tiny blades can stop me?
:'''Rex:''' Try this one for size!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex!
:'''Rex:''' Huh?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' His staff is a nanite disrupter. Get it away from him.
:'''Rex:''' Easier said than done!
:'''Guranset:''' Haah!
:'''Rex:''' Oh, mummies!
:'''Bobo:''' Yeah, yeah, you got your mummies. I hope you're happy!
:'''Six:''' Rex! We can handle this! He's getting away!
:'''Guranset:''' One last trap to keep me imprisoned, father. Nothing will keep me from my destiny! You serve his plan, child, and don't even know it.
:'''Rex:''' Everybody talk weird in ancient Egypt, or it is just your special thing? Uh... are they supposed to do that?
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Guranset:''' Finally! I am free!
:'''Six:''' These EVO's won't say dead.
:'''Bobo:''' Their breath stinks, too! Ah, boy!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You could thank me for saving your life.
:'''Black Knight:''' Dr. Holiday, our lives are not safe yet.
:'''Guranset:''' I am not alone. Together, we shall reconquer this land, and then.. the world!
:'''Rex:''' Uh, I think the sun's baked him loopy. You can't reanimate that. It's a statue.
:'''Guranset:''' This is not statue, child. It is a tomb. Arise, my mighty steed. Arise, my sphinx!
:'''Rex:''' Providence, this is Rex. You may want to evacuate Cairo.
:'''Guranset:''' This city is a blight upon my kingdom. All shall be as it once was.
:'''Rex:''' I'm warning you, Gharun Set-- I don't want to have to get rough with you. Step off the pussycat.
:'''Guranset:''' You presume to tell a pharaoph what to do. Be gone!
:'''Six:''' Holiday. There's something I want to tell you before it's too late.
:'''Bobo:''' Ugh. Hold still! Oh, no.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' All of them. Like the nanites keeping them alive... self-destructed? I'm sorry. What were you going to say?
:'''Six:''' Holiday... I, uh...
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hold that thought.
:'''Bobo:''' What's it gonna be, the kooky chicks or we go help Rex save the world?
:'''Six:''' Rex probably has this under control. Holiday needs my-- our help.
:'''Bobo:''' Yeah, I can't resist a good catfight either.
:'''Rex:''' Let me handle! This it's too dangerous!
:'''Pilot:''' Black Knight, target sighted. It's riding a 50-foot-tall house cat. Please advise.
:'''Black Knight:''' Do not harm. Contain and capture. We need that specimen.
:''[Black Knight gasps]''
:'''Black Knight:''' Pilot disregard. Last order. Target no longer needed. Destroy. Repeat-- Destroy.
:'''Pilot:''' You're with the lady. Lock and load.
:'''Rex:''' Huh? Whoa! Get out of here! I don't know what he's up to, but it's not good.
:'''Garunset:''' Behold the majesty of my dream. My kingdom! My paradise!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' What is this place?
:'''Black Knight:''' It's the stuff of legends. The fabled hall of records which lay hidden beneath where the sphinx once was.
:'''Bobo:''' &quot;Was&quot;?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' This can't be! That's the helix splitter. And that looks like a nano-flux inducer. Caesar built the first prototype of one last year.
:'''Black Knight:''' I can't let you touch any of this. It's too unstable with age. When you blundered in the tomb, you set off a safeguard. Someone thought this room too dangerous for the world to know about.
:'''Bobo:''' Agreed. Let's scram!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' We can't! Don't you know what this means to science? The knowledge in here is invaluable. It cannot be lost-- Again!
:'''Black Knight:''' It won't be! Now that we know where it is, we can dig it out later. We will study it. I promise you that.
:'''Six''': Holiday. Let it go.
:'''Guranset''': As father promised-- I will rule forever.
:'''Rex''': Forever is gonna be shorter than you think.
:'''Guranset''': No! Nooooo!
:'''Rex''': Aw, come on! I didn't hit you that hard!
:''[Guranset gasps]''
:'''Rex''': What's happening to you?
:''[Guranset gasps]''
:'''Guranset''': Aaaaaaaaah!
:''[Guranset grunts]''
:'''Guranset''': Do not touch your pharaoh.
:'''Rex''': You need help. Your nanites are dying of old age-- I think. It's like starting an old car. Uh, o-or a camel. Let me help you. I can fix your nanites, and then maybe--
:'''Guranset''': Lies!
:'''Rex''': You're in a strange time, a strange place. We have science, machines. We can help you. Trust us.
:'''Guranset''': Like you trust the woman you call Black Knight? I see now this is a world of lies. You and I have no place in it. Father told me of you... Rex.
:'''Rex:''' What? How do you know my--
:'''Guranset''': I would have helped the world. Ended the hunger, the wars. But now he will return. Avenge me. ''[Echoing]'' I see now this is a world of lies. You and I have no place in it.
&lt;hr width80/&gt;
:'''Black Knight:''' You wanted something?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The hall of records-- You can't keep it a secret. It must be studied. That hall--
:'''Black Knight:''' What hall?
:'''Rex:''' Why'd you do that?! Holiday said--
:'''Black Knight:''' Some secrets are best left buried under the sands, Rex.
:''[Dr. Holiday grunts]''
:'''Black Knight:''' Gentleman. Dr. Holiday.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six, what'd you want to tell me back in the tomb?
:'''Six:''' It can wait.
:'''Rex:''' Don't wait too long.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' All those priceless artifacts. And we still don't know who created Gharun Set.

===Guy vs. Guy===
:'''Rex:''' This means war.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Double Vision===
: ''[The episode starts as a butterfly flies through plants in a flower shop. Suddenly, Rex is thrown into the shop window, making nearby civilians run away. Rex gets up and looks out of the broken glass, seeing a beastly plant EVO, a few people watching, and Agent Six slashing his swords around to evade the EVO's tentacles.]''
: '''Rex:''' ''[Pants and brushes leaves off his sleeve and puts on goggles.]'' Not bad!
: ''[Uses the Punk Busters to jump out of the shop and generates his Smack Hands to uppercut the EVO, causing it to crash into a nearby building.]'' But I'm better!
: ''[The EVO gets out of the glass windows and roars, attacking Agent Six.]''
: '''Agent Six:'''	''[Cuts off a tentacle and walks towards Rex.]'' Talk is cheap, Rex. Prove it.
: '''Rex:''' ''[Generating the Smack Hands.]'' No problemo.
: ''[The EVO rushes towards Rex, unfortunately, Rex grabs it and slams it onto the ground. A random girl is driving up the road on a moped. However, she is stopped as the EVO blocks the path.]''
: '''Rex:''' ''[Putting his hands up to assure the girl.]'' Nothing to worry about, I've got this handled. ''[Turns to EVO, whom is still on the floor.]'' Okay big guy, say adiós to those nasty nanites.
: '''Rex:''' ''[Rex kneels down to cure the EVO, flowers spout out of the EVO]'' Aw, for me? Does this mean we're dating?
: ''[Suddenly, the flowers shoot out some goo into Rex's face, making him slam onto the floor, a crowd forms around the battle.]''
: '''Rex:''' ''[Yelps while getting up and pulls his goggles off and wipes the goo off his face.]'' Oh, that's better. ''[He gives his goggles to the random female on the moped]'' Hey! Watch these for me. ''[Runs back into battle and generates the Punk Busters and kicks the blacked out EVO over a building.]'' Goal! Hey thanks for holding onto my...huh?...
: ''[Rex turns around to see the girl missing from the crowd. Deforming his Punk Busters, he spots the girl riding away on her moped. She turns to look back at Rex, appearing to have on his goggles.]''
: '''Rex:''' Goggles!
: ''[Rex puts one of his hands up to signal for her to wait, but the EVO returns and wraps its tentacle around Rex's neck. The EVO twists Rex in mid-air in the sky for a minute before slamming him onto the cement. Rex gets up and sees the goggle girl riding away out of sight.]''
: '''Rex:''' Hey! You've got my...ungh...goggles... Aah! Ungh! Did you see that girl?! She stole my goggles!
: '''Agent Six:''' Priorities, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' They are my priority, Six. I can pound EVOs any day. Those goggles are-- Ah, great. Who invited her?
: '''Black Knight:''' Stand down, gentlemen. We've got this covered.
: '''Rex:''' We don't need any help. Whoa! Whoa! Ungh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Obviously. Control collar-- Now. We'll take it from here.
: '''Rex:''' Take it from whe-e-re?! I've already got this under contro-o-o-o-l! Whoa! Ugh! Let me try to cure it.
: '''Black Knight:''' The new Providence protocol is to confine, constrain and control. If curing is an option, it will be considered-- At my discretion.
: '''Rex:''' Control? I can cure it now and end this.
: '''Black Knight:''' The offer still stands. If you want to come back to Providence, you can continue your mission.
: '''Rex:''' I have my mission!
: '''Black Knight:''' Curing every EVO on Earth isn't a mission, Rex. It's an impossibility.
: '''Rex:''' Watch me.
: '''Black Knight:''' Everybody back! Contain those seedlings!
: '''Rex:''' You just made it worse! Now I've got to clean up your mess. Starting with this guy. See? Fearing works!
: '''Black Knight:''' It was your actions that exacerbated this situation. I want full containment and control over those seedlings. Move out-- Now.
: '''Agent Six:''' While you were arguing, Holiday found another sprout. Let's go deal with that before Providence does.
: '''Rex:''' But-- My goggles!
: '''Agent Six:''' Focus, Rex. We've got work to do.
: '''Rex:''' Nice work!
: '''Agent Six:''' Drop in the bucket. Look below.
: '''Rex:''' Wow. And I thought I'd be able to knock off early today.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' On the contrary, Rex. By overlaying current worldwide wind patterns on top of international population centers, we're looking at total global infestation within thirty-eight hours.
: '''Bobo:''' Ooh, that's a lot of roughage.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' I need to get in the field and obtain some live samples. Bobo and I will meet you at the rendezvous point in the mobile command center.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, doc. We're almost there. Hey! It's that girl! Wh-o-o-o-oa!
: '''Agent Six:''' What's gotten into you, Rex?
: '''Rex:''' My goggles-- I can't see without them!
: '''Agent Six:''' Obviously, you can see without them.
: '''Rex:''' Well, yeah, but I really need them a lot of the time. Don't you remember when I first got them?
: '''Agent Six:''' Actually, no.
: '''Rex:''' Oh. Sorry. My bad. It was early on, when I was just learning to control my powers. Whoa!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Aaaah! Aah! Aaaaah! Oof!
: '''Agent Six:''' Horse manure.
: '''Rex:''' This is exactly why I need my goggles! Hey! I thought this thing was just a sprout!
: '''Agent Six:''' It's the nature of plants to grow.
: '''Rex:''' Hm. Very Zen of you, Six. Well, it's the nature of me to kick EVO butt! Whoa! Oof! Yuck! This stuff really stinks!
: '''Agent Six:''' All yours.
: '''Rex:''' Ta-da! And for my next trick... Oh, and look who's late to the party.
: '''Black Knight:''' ''[Entering]'' Alpha team, I want you to lay down suppressive fire and--
: ''[Realizing the EVOs not there]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Belay that. Sit Ops, I was told we had a Class-Three EVO situation here. Where is the EVO?
: '''Rex:''' ''[Rex hands her flowers]'' Sorry. This is all that's left. Six, are we good here? I've got to run.
: '''Agent Six:''' I'd put those in water.
: '''Black Knight:''' Unh!
: '''Rex:''' Slow down! I just want to-- Ungh!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex:''' Huh? What?! No way! Hey! You've got my-- Ugh! Whoa! ...Goggles.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You've got bigger problems than a girl on a scooter, Rex. First a flower shop, then gardening supplies. It's getting hungrier. Gentlemen, I suggest you get to the sewage-treatment plant as quickly as possible.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Why?
: '''Agent Six:''' Fertilizer, Rex, as in if those sprouts chow down on that much raw nourishment, we're in some deep...
: ''[Plant EVO bursts through a nearby wall]''
: '''Rex:''' ...Horse maneure. Hungry? Eat this!
: '''Agent Six:''' Holiday, get to the sewage plant. We'll meet you there after we clean up.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Clean up? I'd rather make a mess! Shoulda brought my chainsaw.
: '''Agent Six:''' Shoot the seedlings!
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Okay, this time I'm going to--
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Hey! Wait! Aw, man! Back off!
: ''[Rex panting]''
: '''Bobo:''' You went a little nuts there, buddy. I like it! But... Goggles?
: '''Rex:''' That EVO interrupted before I could finish the story.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Agent Six:''' Here, kid. Try these on.
: '''Rex:''' Um, so I can look like a total doofus?
: '''Agent Six:''' You have no idea how unique these goggles are, Rex. A reclusive weaponsmith in Zurich crafted this single pair before he turned EVO.
: '''Rex:''' Really? And then what happened to him?
: '''Agent Six:''' I did. He won't be crafting any more goggles.
: '''Rex:''' Cool!
: '''Agent Six:''' These are one-of-a-kind, Rex-- Special, for you.
: '''Bobo:''' What a bunch of chimp chips! Those goggles are-- Whoa!
: '''Rex:''' Wow. That is a lot of rampaging EVO.
: '''Bobo:''' Yeah. Lucky holiday-- She's right in the thick of it.
: '''Rex:''' Lucky?
: '''Bobo:''' She gets to try out all the special modifications I made to that sweet ride.
: ''[Dr. Holiday grunts]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Plant EVO has Holiday trapped inside the Mobile Command Center]'' Okay. Let's see how you like 10,000 volts of--
: ''[Holiday presses a button, and music starts playing]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Bobo's mix tape?! Who puts the stereo next to the weapons system?! One more time-- Big red button. Always go for the big red button. Unless you don't want to drain the batteries to zero.
: ''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Bobo, your improvements could use some improvements. Rex, if you're not too busy, I'd appreciate a little assistance.
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, ain't that your girlfriend?
: '''Agent Six:''' She can take care of herself, right, Rex?
: '''Rex:''' Right-- For now.
: ''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' That's more like it. Ungh! Fine! Let's see how you like this! I don't know what you just did, Rex, but thanks. Rex?
: '''Black Knight:''' I admit our last encounter didn't end well, but I think we need to work together on this one.
: '''Rex:''' You want to work together? We left Providence, remember?
: '''Black Knight:''' Rex--
: '''Rex:''' What happened to &quot;stay out of my way&quot;?
: '''Black Knight:''' Rex!
: '''Rex:''' So now when you need somebody to take out your trash, you can just forget that I quit your crummy organization?
: '''Black Knight:''' Yes, Rex, I can, because I don't let my emotions guide my choices. I only want what's best for Providence-- And the world.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, cool. Just wanted to hear you say it. Aah!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, the EVO is too big to cure without getting to its core.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah, well, I'm not doing much good out here!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' All those vines, the seedlings, everything-- They're just puppets to the plant. Stop those nanites in the core, and you cut the strings.
: '''Rex:''' On it! Huh?!
: '''Agent Six:''' Watch it, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' Whoa! All I want are my goggles. All I've wanted all day are my goggles, and this EVOs been blocking me over and over! Hey, Bobo, you know how to shoot one of these?
: '''Bobo:''' Eh, how hard could it be?
: '''Rex:''' Load me into this thing and point it right at that EVO's sweet spot. And hurry. I got better stuff to do.
: '''Bobo:''' You do know that's 30,000 gallons of raw sewage you're aimin' at?
: '''Rex:''' Don't remind me. Oh... Yuck! Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck!
: '''Agent Six:''' Elegant solution, Rex.
: '''Bobo:''' You don't smell elegant. You stink worse than me. I'm a little jealous.
: '''Black Knight:''' All right, Rex. Get to work.
: '''Rex:''' Work? What do you mean? I just served that vegetable!
: '''Black Knight:''' You cut the strings, but you still have to fix the puppets.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' She's right, Rex.
: '''Black Knight:''' You want to cure the world? Start curing.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex:''' Whoa, man, I'm beat! I don't think I can move another inch if you paid me.
: ''[Goggle girl rides past him]''
: '''Rex:''' Gotta move! See ya! Hey! Stop for a second! Six, I'm really starting to think this girl's got some kind of EVO action going on-- Teleporter, speedster, something.
: '''Goggle girl:''' Hey!
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Six, she's not just a teleporter. She can make doubles of herself-- Multiple abilities! She's an EVO, like me!
: '''Goggle girl:''' It's the skeevy guy who's been chasing me. He was chasing me, too. And me. What do you want?
: '''Rex:''' You took my goggles! I want them back!
: '''Goggle girl:''' Hey, Einstein, did you see our logo? That stands for &quot;Goggle Girl&quot;, as in the delivery service. You haven't ever heard of us?
: '''Rex:''' Um... No.
: '''Goggle girl:''' &quot;Nothing is cuter than a girl on a scooter.&quot; Kind of hard to miss.
: ''[Goggle girl groans]''
: '''Goggle girl:''' It's the worst slogan ever.
: '''Rex:''' But-- But my goggles!
: '''Goggle girl:''' Part of our costume. The boss buys them in bulk, along with these cheesy wigs he makes us wear. It's kind of lame.
: '''Rex:''' In bulk?! Those goggles?! But... They're one-of-a-kind! They're special! They're-- They're... I'll just go now. Nope. Nope. Definitely not.
: '''Agent Six:''' I still don't know why those goggles were so important to you.
: '''Rex:''' You gave to me, Six. It was the first present, the first nice thing that I remember getting since you found me. You said they were special, and that made me feel special.
: '''Six:''' Yes, about those goggles... Apparently, according to Bobo, I may have misled you. There was dozens of them in the Providence service bay.
: '''Rex:''' I knew the story was fake, but you told it because you cared about me. That's what made them special.
: '''Agent Six:''' I see.
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, champ. You got a package.
: '''Goggle girl:''' Sign, please.
: '''Agent Six:''' It's for you. From us. Just open it.
: '''Rex:''' My goggles!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Better. We commissioned an enhanced version.
: '''Rex:''' Cool! Infrared... Microscopic... Nanovision?! Thanks, you guys. You really are one-of-a-kind.
: '''Bobo:''' Those are great, but these are me.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' I just need to hold on to them for a few more hours while I run a full diagnostic.
: '''Rex:''' A few hours?! I just got them! Aw!
: '''Bobo:''' Here-- Because I care.
: '''Goggle girl:''' They actually look kinda cute.
: '''Rex:''' Hey, doc! No rush!
: '''Bobo:''' Ain't love grand?

===Black and White===
: '''Calan:''' Be advised, we've got activity. Major activity. Stop right there, or we'll shoot! Don't make me do it.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, I know what you're thinking, but this is totally not what it looks like.
: '''Calan:''' Calan to command, tell Black Knight-- We have apprehended the intruders. Repeat, we got'em.
: '''Rex:''' No! Get out of my head! Stop it! Stop! Stop with the talking! A dream. Oh, thank you! For a second, I swore that I heard his voice. It was almost like he was in the-- Room. Huh?!
: '''White Knight:''' I was wondering if I was gonna have to send the monkey in with a bucket of water. But I thought, &quot;why should he have all the fun?&quot; Five minutes-- Situation room. Consider this your wake-up call.
: '''Rex:''' Aren't you supposed to be playing dead? You're lucky Black Knight doesn't know you're here.
: '''White Knight:''' Black Knight thinks what I want her to think. With the installation of the new regime, I suspected that there was more going on at providence than just this new control protocol. I decided to test my hypothesis. I needed time to operate freely without prying eyes. So I went off the grid.
: '''Rex:''' And from the smell of it, you haven't changed out of your suit since then.
: ''[Bobo sniffs]''
: '''White Knight:''' I've been busy. I've been tracking their operations. They involve familiar locales and even more familiar machinery.
: '''Rex:''' You still use a camera with film? Do they even make that stuff anymore?
: '''White Knight:''' What they don't make are machines like these. This is the wreckage of Rylander's lab.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Are they doing what I think they're doing?
: '''Rex:''' Do what?
: '''White Knight:''' It appears that this new Providence is restarting the nanite program.
: '''Rex:''' There is no way my brother would help restart something that nearly destroyed the world. There's got to be a good explanation. We should just ask him.
: '''White Knight:''' We can't risk direct contact. We need to infiltrate Providence, download her computer banks, and assess how far along they are before we take any other actions.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Over there.
: '''Rex:''' Just saying there's more here than meets the eye. Whoa!
: '''Six:''' Breaking into Providence? That's a big move, even for you. Black Knight is sure to have enhanced the security systems. We may be able to breach the perimeter defenses, but once inside, we'd be blind targets.
: '''White Knight:''' You'd be right if we were playing on her board.
: '''Six:''' Forgive me for doubting you.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, is someone gonna tell me what these are for? This is so not going to work.
: '''Six:''' Trust the plan.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Okay, so, maybe they worked. But how'd you get them to do it on cue?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' All a matter of timing. Assuming we get past the outer perimeter, securing the data is a completely different story. Providence encrypts all data. We need to disable multiple units before we can download anything off the mainframe. Doing that undetected is ''[sighs]'' insane.
: '''Rex:''' Finally, a voice of reason. I'm calling my brother. Took the lady with three phds to realize what I've been saying all along is right. Hey, that costs money! I'm over my minutes!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' How did you... This is...
: '''Six:''' Doable.
: '''Rex:''' Do what? What is that? A secret passage.
: '''White Knight:''' When they built the tower, I had them install, these-- Upper-management corridors.
: '''Six:''' In the old days, they called passages like these the king's road.
: '''White Knight:''' From here, we face some unknowns. Stick to the plan. Or we could die.
: '''Rex:''' What?! Me?! What about you?! Part of the plan was to do this quietly.
: '''Calan:''' Stop right there, or we'll shoot!
: ''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Here we go. Ok, I know what you're thinking, but this is totally not what it looks like.
: '''White Knight:''' Stand down, Rex.
: ''[Calan laughs]''
: '''Calan:''' Welcome back, sir. We've been waiting for you.
: '''Rex:''' Que, huh?
: '''Calan:''' Sorry for the scare, Rex. We couldn't guarantee the Black Knight wasn't taper our communications. It was best to keep radio silence. In any case-- Say hello to your man on the inside. He've got a bomb! All units, fall back, fall back! Captain Calan, do you copy? Report.
: '''White Knight:''' Ready for a repeate performance?
: '''Calan:''' Ready when you are, sir. Good luck, everyone. They're headed for the... petting zoo.
: '''Holiday:''' Here it is. Just like he said.
: '''White Knight:''' This is the Hive. The central nervous system of the entire complex. An electric field protects the inner chambers. We'll need the circuit bandage.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' I've got an idea, but you'll have to go in partially naked. We've got eyes everywhere.
: '''Six:''' Good. Knight and I will handle the encryption towers. You know what to do with this.
: '''Rex:''' No sweat. I'm on it. Just have to make one quick detour. Bro? You in here? Oh, no. No, no, no!
: '''Caesar:''' Rex, is that you? What brings you here?
: ''[Six groans]''
: '''Six:''' Partially naked. Tower one clear. Proceed to next phase.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Got it. Redirecting the data flow now.
: '''Calan:''' Anyone hear for the monkey?
: '''Rex:''' Huh?!
: '''Bobo:''' Offical pet desk. Keep your distance.
: '''Rex:''' Is that Dr. Rylander?
: '''Caesar:''' It is. Well, almost. After you brought back Van Kleiss, I couldn't help but to wonder if perhaps I might do the same for him. Unfortunately, Van Kleiss was already great in tune the nanites. As you can see, Dr. Rylander-- wasn't.
: '''Rex:''' Ok, whatever. Listen, I'm here on a secret mission.
: '''Caesar:''' Secret? 
: '''Rex:''' White Knight said--
: '''Caesar:''' White Knight is alive?
: '''Rex:''' If you can call him that. Anyway, he says... you might wanna sit down for this part? That Black Knight is restarting the nanite program. Don't you think that's messed up?
: '''Caesar:''' On the contrary. I'm in charge of it.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Commencing download in T-2 minutes. White Knight has infiltrated sector three. You're right. They are monitoring our movements. How did you know?
: '''White Knight:''' It's what I would do. Now start evac protocols.
: '''Black Knight:''' I've torn this facility apart looking for that? When I found it, I still couldn't get to it. Bio-feed security system-- Clever. You have to be nanite-free to open it. I guessed you weren't dead. I knew if I let enough info leak about what we're doing here, you've showed up, eventually. I'll take it.
: '''White Knight:''' You can try.
: '''Black Knight:''' What ever you say. You were the boss.
: '''White Knight:''' That's not a providence toy.
: '''Black Knight:''' A woman is entitled her secrets. Especially when those secrets keep me alive.
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''White Knight:''' Ohh! What I could've done with you if I hired you first.
: '''Black Knight:''' Don't fool yourself, White.
: '''White Knight:''' Ohh, ohh, ohh!
: '''Black Knight:''' You were bandage at best. the Consortium knew that you weren't the leader for the future. Stand down, old man!
: '''White Knight:''' I've got a few secrets of my own, kid. After all, this was my office. Consortium or not, it will be again.
: '''Black Knight:''' Ugh!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Be advised, they're on to us. Making for the rendezvous.
: '''Six:''' I'll take my swords back now. Please.
: '''Rex:''' What are you doing, helping Black Knight? She's obviously the more psycho of the two knights.
: '''Caesar:''' I'm not helping the Black Knight do anything. I'm trying to fix things. The day everything changed. We never imagined what would happen when we released the nanites.
: '''Rex:''' Release them?! You caused the nanite event?!
: '''Caesar:''' It was the only way we were going to save the world.
: '''Rex:''' You unleashed the worst man-made disaster the world has ever seen!! You've ruined countless lives!! How can you say that you saved anything?!
: '''Caesar:''' You weren't there... not in any way that mattered! If we hadn't--
: '''Rex:''' Hold that thought. Here, doggy, doggy.
: '''Six:''' Excessive?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Sweet, actually. Now you're overdoing it.
: '''White Knight:''' ''[panting]'' Are we finished here? ''[screams]'' Careful, Black. Your council wouldn't be too pleased if you destroyed the very thing you're after.
: '''Black Knight:''' If doesn't have to be like this, White! The Consortium may have lost faith in you, but you know my methods are right. Come back. Under my protection, who knows? There may even be a promotion in it for you.
: '''White Knight:''' You would turn on your own masters?
: '''Black Knight:''' For that kind of power, wouldn't you?
: '''White Knight:''' You would turn on your own masters?
: '''Black Knight:''' For that kind of power, wouldn't you?
: '''White Knight:''' I am going to stop the Consortium. If you or Providence gets in my way, this tape goes public.
: '''Black Knight:''' Wait!
: '''Caesar:''' Rex, stop! You're destroying my work!
: '''Rex:''' Your work is done! And so are we! I got it. Time to blow this--
: '''Black Knight:''' Stand down, Rex. Face it, kiddo... today is not your day.
: '''Rex:''' Actually, today's wednesday, and wednesday means fiesta night at the cafeteria. Getting in is going to be cake... very dangerous cake. Any bright ideas on how we're getting out?
: '''Bobo:''' I got one word for you, kid-- Plumbing.
: '''Rex:''' I got it. Time to blow this...
: '''Bobo:''' Taco stand.
: '''White Knight:''' Aah!
: '''Bobo:''' Me and Van Gogh, unappreciated in our time.
: '''Rex:''' All of that-- Was for that?! I got nanites, billions of 'em.
: '''White Knight:''' Not like this one, Rex. This is a Meta Nanite. One of several. Hardwired into its design is a program for the original Dominion Code.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Dominion Code? I thought that was a myth.
: '''White Knight:''' I can assure you, doctor, it is very real. Each one gives its host control over different building blocks of the universe- matter, antimatter, elemental, space, time, reality. With the complete code, you can control them. And through them, you control ''everything''. In sort, it's the God Code.
: '''Rex:''' The Consortium want to be...gods?
: '''White Knight:''' If it wasn't for the original Nanite Event scattering the Metas across the globe, they may have already succeeded. The situation has changed, people. Black Knight has been searching the globe for the other Meta-Nanites. She needs them all to complete the Master Program. As long as we're keeping her secret, she'll hold off. But sooner or later, she'll be coming for this with the full power of Providence and the Consortium at her back. So... if you want to move on, forget what I've told you.
: '''Rex:''' You're not getting rid of us that easily, old man. My parents died for this. Black Knight wants war, war she gets.

===Deadzone===
: '''Holiday:''' &quot;You cannot let him out of your sight, Rex. Don't you see why Black Knight wants him? He's the ultimate insurance against any E.V.O.&quot;
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Not just any. Me.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Black Knight:''' &quot;Since the search for Feakins is going nowhere, we have no choice but to become much more aggressive with Rex.&quot;

===Assault on Abysus===
: '''Diane Farrah:''' Through research and hard work, Providence has turned the curse of the EVO into a blessing. One that will serve mankind. Science and compassion have created a new future for all EVOs. A future filled with happiness and hope.
: '''Black Pawn:''' You? Seen some EVOs pass through here?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
*Rex and Circe finally admit their true feelings for one another. Unfortunately, there was not enough episodes to explore their romance further.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: ''[Somewhere in [[w:Hong Kong|Hong Kong, China]]'']''
: '''Circe:''' Okay. They're gone.
: '''Skywwd:''' For now. Get out of here, Circe. Run!
: '''Circe:''' I'm not leaving you guys.
: '''Skywwd:''' You can pass as human. Go-- Before Providence gets you too.
: '''Black Pawn:''' The girl! She's with them!
: '''Skwwyd:''' Run!
: '''Rex:''' Hmm? What's up?
: '''Circe:''' You're the only person I could turn to.
: '''Rex:''' Circe?
: '''Circe:''' I don't know. That's the hardest part.
: '''Rex:''' You did what you had to do.
: '''Circe:''' I left them there, Rex. Our friends. Providence has to be stopped. Someone needs to do something.
: '''Rex:''' ''[puts his arms around Circe to comfort her]'' We are.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Am I disturbing you two?
: '''Rex:''' No.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' White Knight wants to talk with you.
: '''Rex:''' Ugh. What's he gonna yell at me for this time?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' No, I meant Circe. He wants to talk to her.
: '''Circe:''' Providence has been hunting these down, too?
: '''White Knight:''' You didn't tell her about them, Rex?
: '''Rex:''' I thought the Master Control Nanites were supposed to be top secret.
: '''White Knight:''' She has to know if she's going to lead the mission.
: '''Rex:''' Her? That was supposed to be my mission.
: '''White Knight:''' It's no one's mission. It's about getting the job done.
: '''Circe:''' Why me?
: '''White Knight:''' Intelligence indicates that Providence has targeted a Master Control Nanite in Abysus. In Van Kleiss' old castle, to be more precise. You're the only one with the knowledge to get us in there.
: '''Rex:''' I've been there before. How hard could it be? Circe, you don't have to.
: '''Circe:''' If it helps stop Black Knight in Providence, I'm in.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, Doc. We made it. The new power suit gave me more range, just like you said.
: ''[Circe whistles]''
: '''Circe:''' Thanks, Banak. We're trying to keep a low profile. Don't tell anyone, okay?
: '''Rex:''' Good thing you knew the secret whistle or we might have been rooting around forever.
: ''[Rex chuckles]''
: '''Rex:''' Get it? &quot;Root&quot;? Uh... This can't be easy coming back here. I owe you.
: '''Circe:''' Forget it. We're even. I used you in the past, now you and your friends are using me.
: '''Rex:''' Is there some sort of problem between you and me?
: '''Circe:''' There's nothing between you and me. Just the mission. I don't have good memories of this place. Let's just leave it at that, okay?
: '''Rex:''' Fine. I'm surprised we haven't run into-- Ugh!
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Skalamander:''' Traitor! Stop her!
: '''Circe:''' Aah!
: '''Rex:''' Can you chill?! There's no time for this. Who's leading you now that Van Kleiss is gone? I need to speak to your leader. Figures. Biowolf, we have a problem. And... I need your help.
: '''Biowulf:''' I will listen.
: '''Rex:''' Great, because--
: '''Biowulf:''' Only after you. earn the right-- Through combat.
: ''[Biowulf growls]''
: ''[Rex spits]''
: '''Rex:''' At least Van Kleiss was civilized. Buckle up, dog boy.
: '''Biowulf:''' You may speak. This nanite you want-- It's not here. None of us have seen it up in the castle or the blast source.
: '''Rex:''' I didn't say up. It's down. White Knight thinks it's under the castle. Some other secure lab area.
: '''Biowulf:''' The primary chamber?
: '''Circe:''' It's under the castle? Van Kleiss always said it was forbidden for us to go there.
: '''Rex:''' You think he remembered to tell Black Knight that? Let me take it out of here.
: '''Biowulf:''' No! You're a traitor to your own kind. A lapdog to these humans. I've heard enough!
: '''Rex:''' All of us will fall-- All EVOs-- If she gets it. Black Knight is worse than you know. If I don't get the nanite out of here, Providence will take it.
: '''Biowulf:''' Providence! This is Abysus, the heart of the EVO world. Providence wouldn't dare.
: '''Circe:''' The sentries have spotted something.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. I wonder who.
: '''Providence Soldier:''' Black Knight, the assault forces are in place.
: '''Black Knight:''' The field is yours. We've secured the borders. No chance White Knight and his team will get in the country to interfere.
: '''Biowulf:''' The castle is surrounded.
: '''Rex:''' Standard operating procedure for Providence is to secure the perimeter, then close for attack. Black Knight will have snuck forces around back.
: '''Skalamander:''' How should we counter?
: '''Rex:''' Easy.
: '''Biowulf:''' You take your nanite. I'll decide how to deal with the invaders.
: '''Black Pawn:''' Deploy the collars. Rise. Forward. Attack.
: '''Rex:''' The nanite event blew away half the castle. This must have been deep enough to survive it. Huh? You hear that?
: '''Circe:''' No. Hear what?
: '''Rex:''' Uh... Nothing. This place would make a great rec room. Maybe a karaoke machine over there--
: '''Circe:''' Van Kleiss would send volunteers down here to try and get in. None of them ever came back.
: '''Rex:''' Well... That's encouraging.
: '''Circe:''' What is it?
: '''Rex:''' They're... I-I think they're nanites. They're following our lights. They can't see in the dark. I have a plan. Lead them back.
: '''Circe:''' ''[concerned]'' Rex?
: '''Rex:''' When I say &quot;roll,&quot; roll.
: '''Circe:''' What?!
: '''Rex:''' Roll! Circe, sing!
: ''[Circe uses her ultrasonic blasts on the EVOs and beams at Rex.]''
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Rex:''' We always made a good team.
: '''Circe:''' It won't hold them long.
: '''Rex:''' You think this is why Van Kleiss always wanted me-- So I could get him in here?
: '''Biowulf:''' Providence has breached the castle. We can't hold our position much longer.
: '''Rex:''' Go. I'll get the Master-Control Nanite. ''[Notices how worried Circe is about him probably not returning]'' This isn't Hong Kong. I'll be okay. I'll meet up with you soon.
: '''Biowulf:''' They've turned our own people against us.
: '''Circe:''' Let me see what I can do.
: ''[Circe uses her ultrasonic bursts on several collared EVOs]''.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: ''[Circe gasping]''
: '''Circe:''' So many.
: '''Biowulf:''' You can't stop the ones they've collared.
: '''Circe:''' I can go down trying.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Black Pawn:''' Her sonics are disrupting the offensive.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Black Pawn:''' Hyah! Unh!
: '''Biowulf:''' If we can't defeat them, we'll take down as many as we can fighting.
: '''Circe:''' This isn't one battle. It's a war. And we can't let it end here before Rex has the Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Biowulf:''' What, then?
: '''Circe:''' Tactical retreat.
: ''[Circe whistles]''
: '''Rex:''' Huh. Dad.
: '''Providence Soldier:''' Outer rooms of the castle secured.
: '''Black Pawn:''' I don't need you here, Black Knight. It's only a matter of time. We will take the castle piece by piece.
: ''[Skalamander growling]''
: '''Black Pawn:''' You are ours now. Down.
: ''[Skalamander grunting]''
: '''Skalamander:''' Rex is here. He will make you bow to us!
: '''Black Knight:''' This is all a diversion. Find Rex before he gets the Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Black Pawn:''' Yes, Ma'am.
: '''Black Knight:''' Either you do it or I will. I'm on my way.
: '''Rex:''' This place... Rylander had the same type of lab.
: '''Soldier:''' Security system engaged.
: '''Rex:''' No!
: '''Soldier:''' Intruder. Provide authorized identity or be terminated. Identify. Identify. Identify. Identify.
: '''Rex:''' Aah! I'm Rex! Rex Salazar!
: '''Soldier:''' Salazar genetype-- Accepted.
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex:''' There you are, you little troublemaker. You're coming home with the good guys. Uhh. Weird. Uh... I don't suppose you're looking for the karaoke machine? Running into you-- What a coincidence. Come down here a lot? Whoa! Missed me.
: '''Black Pawn:''' I have the nanite. Keep the boy busy while I get it to Black Knight.
: '''Rex:''' No!
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Rex:''' You two sure know how to make an entrance.
: '''Circe:''' The others are getting hammered by Provindence. They're barely holding them off in the dungeon.
: '''Rex:''' Gee! Van Kleiss has a dungeon. What a surprise.
: '''Biowulf:''' This is no joke. They might die because I came down here to save you.
: '''Rex:''' I won't let them get taken. I promise you that. But I need you to let me call the shots.
: ''[Biowulf sighs]''
: '''Biowulf:''' Very well.
: '''Rex:''' Circ, dungeon left or right?
: '''Circe:''' Left. The dungeon's the other way.
: '''Rex:''' I'm not looking for the dungeon. I'm looking for the scouts. : '''Black Pawn:''' Nothing.
: '''Rex:''' Well, maybe a little something.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Rex:''' Scouts. Classic Providence tactics-- So they don't get ambushed. Uhh. What is this place?
: '''Biowulf:''' The old reservoir. It goes to the river.
: '''Rex:''' Perfect. ''[deep voice]'' Scout to command. West wing, reservoir-- We've found a back way onto what must be the main EVO force. It's five times the size of what you're fighting.
: '''Black Pawn:''' Roger, scout. All forces, withdraw from dungeon siege. Report to west wing, reservoir. Ambush maneuver lambda.
: '''Rex:''' ''[normal voice]'' Get your troops. It's bath time.
: '''Biowulf:''' Now you bow to Rex!
: '''Rex:''' The Providence goons are contained, Biowulf. They shouldn't be any more trouble. And I got the Master-Control Nanite. Looks like mission accomplished.
: '''Circe:''' Rex, I--
: ''[She and Rex cling to each other as the castle begins shaking.]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Rex, order your friends to surrender. You're all under Providence custody. I always knew it might be impossible to capture the Master-Control Nanite in the heart of the nanite infestation. So the solution was to remove it.
: '''Circe:''' It's Hong Kong all over again.
: '''Rex:''' No. We can fight. We'll double back and-- A-and then--
: '''Biowulf:''' Go! Get the nanite out of here!
: '''Rex:''' No! I promised you!
: '''Biowulf:''' You were right. That nanite is more important than anyone here. Including myself. I am the leader. I give the orders. Run!
: ''[Rex panting]''
: '''Rex:''' They were counting on me. I don't want to leave them.
: '''Circe:''' I did what I had to do. You do what you have to. I want you to know, all this was never about me just using you.
: ''[Circe gasps]''
: ''[Finally admits her true romantic feelings for Rex in the form of a passionate kiss. She then pushes a shocked Rex off the ledge, so he could escape; and her getting collared and captured in his stead. She smiled with tears in her eyes, with the promise that she would be okay.]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' ''[burdened by Circe admitting her intense love for him and sacrifice]'' We all make sacrifices for the things we care about-- The people we love. But when the stakes are this high, who can we trust? What would that power do to anyone who had it? They attacked Abysus. What's stopping them from attacking us for these nanites?
: '''White Knight:''' They will-- Sooner or later. That's why I want to turn the tables on them first.
: '''Rex:''' You know how to do that so we survive in one piece?
: '''White Knight:''' Not yet.

===Remote Control===
: '''Cricket:''' If you think we're going to thank you for getting us out of there, Quarry...
: '''Quarry:''' I think you're going to do exactly as I say.
: (''Activates the mind-control collar on her neck'')
: '''Cricket:''' AH!!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Cricket, it's me! Rex! Used to a crush on me!?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Let them go. They'll lead us straight to Quarry.
: '''Cricket:''' &quot;Used to have a crush&quot;?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Cricket:''' You know how collared E.V.O.s follow kind of like a robot. with these collars, it's worse. It's like you're a remote-controlled robot.
: '''Rex:''' That is a nasty hack.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' Your friends are very valuable to me as are you.
: '''Rex:''' Like the new look- strapping.
: '''Quarry:''' Let's just say I had to find a way to &quot;keep it together&quot; after my visit to Abyuss. Just one more thing you owe me for and you know how much I like a balanced book.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' You'll be the crown jewel of my E.V.O. army, Rex. I may just make you my own personal slave.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' That collar suits you, Rex. Wish I had one for you back in the old days. Would've saved me a lot of trouble.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' The arcade- all those kids.
: '''Quarry:''' those brats were born to play games, which is what they think their doing. And I have your people to thank for the tech. That brother of yours is quite the wiz kid.
: '''Rex:''' Caesar would never...
: '''Cricket:''' Forget about Caesar, Rex! You know what you got to do!
: '''Rex:''' These guys will shred you if I leave!
: '''Tuck:''' We got this, Rex! Go!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' Consider the fact that you made me like this while I'm crushing you.

===A Brief History of Time===
: '''Van Kleiss:''' 4.000 years from my destination, and I've run out of of time. I've scarcely completed the vessel which shall deliver me to my own era. Gharun-Set, activate the traps-- Quickly! My greatest creation-- So useful to me, but too dangerous to roam free. If only I had time to destroy him, as I should. But I have a more pressing death I must prevent. My own. AAAAAAAAAAAH!
: '''Rex:''' Kind of defeating the whole stealth element of a stealth suit, Bobo.
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, now was I supposed to know that ghanoush went bad?
: '''Rex:''' Maybe because you found it in a garbage can.
: '''Bobo:''' On top of a garbage can.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Holiday to Rex. Are you at the site?
: '''Rex:''' There is not site, remember? Black Knight blew the pace to kingdom come.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Yet it's still guarded. And thanks to the data you stole from Providence, we know why.
: '''Rex:''' Van Kleiss back in time? I still find it hard to believe.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You were sent six months into the future, Rex. It stands to reason that the reverse is possible.
: '''Rex:''' Well, if you expect to find him here, maybe we should check the mummy museum. We're sensing nanites-- Definitely V.K.'s. They've been dead a long time.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Over 4,000 years. I'm also detecting tachyons-- Quantum particles that travel in time. I think it's clear what he was making.
: '''Bobo:''' A latrine?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' A time machine.
: '''Rex:''' No way he pulled it off! If mister ego made it back to here and now, we'd know about it.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Some of these nanites are considerably younger. That means he was there in two different time periods.
: '''Rex:''' Time travel gives me a headache. Just tell me-- Where is he now?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' The more accurate question is, when is he?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' AAAAAAH!
: ''[Van Kleiss gasping]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh! The ordeal is... draining. But now, back in my own time, I can replenish my nanite reserves and--
: '''Gladiator #1:''' Quis es tu?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I recognize the language, of course-- Classical latin. Qui-- Q-Qui annus est?
: '''Gladiator #1:''' What year is it? You dare question a captain of the imperial guard? Aegyptus is a roman Providence! Answer! Who are you?
: '''Gladiator #2:''' Don't bother-- He's clearly sun-mad.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' The dialect, the dress-- This is the second century A.D. A mere 2,000 years has passed. I'm only halfway home!
: '''Gladiator #1:''' Another escaped slave. Finish him and be done with it.
: ''[Gladiator #2 grunts]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It was all the fight I could muster. I had no way to replace the nanites I'd spent in the journey, and my gauntlet had yet to recharge those that remained.
: '''Gladiator #2:''' This one shows spirit. He'll bring a good price in the arena.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' OOMPH!
: ''[Van Kleiss groans]''
: '''Gladiator #2:''' Save your strength.
: '''Gladiator #3:''' Where you're going, you'll need it.
: ''[Van Kleiss slurps]''
: ''[Van Kleiss gulps]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I intend to. Of the mysterious force, there is no sign. Yet I sense it is close-- Pursuing me even across the centuries. I am convinced it is a manifestation of time itself. My presence is a violation of physics-- An imbalance which the time stream seeks to correct... By wiping me from existence. But of this, I am certain-- If I do not return to my own time, it will surely destroy me.
: '''Gladiator #1:''' You are fortunate, slave. To die in the arena is a great honor.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' An honor I look forward to bestowing.
: ''[Gladiator #1 laughs]''
: '''Gladiator #1:''' You see? Spirit!
: ''[Van Kleiss groans]''
: '''Gladiator #3:''' Put on a good show, little man, and I promise to make your end a painless one.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Indeed?
: ''[Gladiator #3 grunts]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I, on the other hand, make no such promise.
: ''[Gladiator #3 grunting]''
: ''[Van Kleiss grunting]''
: '''Gladiator #3:''' AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
: ''[Gladiator #3 groans]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' One against so many? Hardly seems fair. For them.
: '''Gladiator #4:''' ARRRGHHHH!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ordinarily, I'd say &quot;take me to your leader,&quot; but I believe he's already here.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Great warrior... Never have I seen such a battle. I am...
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Septimius Severus, 21st emperor of Rome, founder of the severan dynasty. And, as I recall, you poisoned your own commanding officer to get his position... And wear only boots to conceal a prodigious clubfoot.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Are you a man... Or a God?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I find both labels rather limiting. Now, then, you are going to give me whatever I require, starting with a quiet place to work. I, in return, shall ensure the growth and security of your reign as emperor. You may call me Van Kleiss.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Whatever your desire, great Vanklios.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Actually, it's... Got a rather nice ring.
: '''Rex:''' What's with this guy? Gets a portrait done in every time period?
: '''Bobo:''' Mm. ''[muffled]'' Truly a nutjob for the ages. Mm. Speaking of nuts... Want some?
: '''Rex:''' You've been dumpster-diving again?
: '''Bobo:''' I prefer &quot;foraging.&quot;
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. Nice sleuthing there, doc.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Nanites decay at a measurable half-life. I set our sat-net to do a global scan for the same frequency-- Ergo, Rome.
: '''Rex:''' Great. You scan for the next stop, we'll grab a pizza.
: '''Bobo:''' Pass. I'm experiencing inexpicable gastric distress.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, it would take months to scan the entire spectrum. You need to find the next decay frequency.
: '''Rex:''' Kind of like nanite connect-the-dots! Can I do it with someone else?
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, quiet, you! Rah!
: '''Rex:''' This goose chase just got a little wilder. My brother's here.
: '''Caesar:''' Caesar to Black. We've detected paleo-nanites. Tachyon readings negative. We're moving to the next hot stop.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Tachyons-- They want Van Kleiss' time machine. Follow them.
: '''Rex:''' Come on.
: '''Bobo:''' Can you give me a teeny sec? I gotta find the little gladiators' room.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Advances in the last two millenia have allowed me to complete my lab in weeks instead of months. Restrict the flow! Do you want to overload the power cells? Meanwhile, my own nanite supply continues to dwindle.
: ''[Septimius Severus panting]''
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Great Vanklios, protect me!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I've divulged metallurgy and tactics beyond your day. No man may threaten your rule. : '''Septimius Severus:''' This is no man... But an apparition!
: ''[Septimius Severus grunts]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' What apparition? Speak, parasite!
: '''Septimius Severus:''' A spirit of doom! Numerous sightings-- The insulare, the rostra, the forum. Listen! It comes! It comes!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Fool. It only wants me.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Ugh!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I release you. Go start a few legends.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
: ''[Septimius Severus gasps]''
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Be gone! I beg of you! Aah!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, those stress lines-- It's the same pattern we saw in Egypt.
: '''Black Knight:''' Report.
: '''Caesar:''' These aqueducts are truly marvels of roman engineering.
: '''Black Knight:''' Have you picked up the next decay frequency?
: '''Caesar:''' Oh-- That. Yes. Uplinking to our global net. Odd. These tachyons seems unrelated to--
: '''Black Knight:''' We have the next target. Scandinavia. Move out. White Knight may have people on the trail. I expect you to do whatever it takes to procure the objective.
: '''Rex:''' Shh!
: '''Caesar:''' I've initiated the same steps as in Egypt! Come along.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, we need that decay frequency.
: '''Rex:''' Just one small problem, doc. This place... is toast.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex? Bobo? Respond!
: '''Rex:''' We're okay, doc. Not a mark on us.
: '''Bobo:''' Same can't be said for my stealth suit. Whoa!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: ''[Rex and Bobo gasps]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' So many lives... It's become a blur. I don't know who I am anymore. Only that I must sail onward, ever onwoard down the river of time. Never resting, always moving. Further draining my nanite reserves beyond my ability to replenish. And each re-emergence, I am pursued by the nameless force. I now know it's personal. I am a virus-- An infection of space-time. Call it what you like. This is time's antibody. Whether I can borne home or drowned in its currents, this is my final journey.
: '''Rex:''' Hurry! I'm not sure if we here followed.
: '''Bobo:''' I'm sure.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Don't shoot! It's me.
: '''Rex:''' Holiday? Shouldn't you be at the plant, connecting the dots?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' No more dots to connect. The trail ends here. And... I'm reading a humanoid form inside.
: '''Rex:''' I'm confused. Is it a time machine or isn't it?
: '''Caesar:''' It's not a time machine. Are those really necessary?
: '''Rex:''' No way you're getting this time machine, bro!
: '''Caesar:''' I don't want it. And it's not a time machine.
: '''Bobo:''' Well, then, what is it? A meat locker for cold cuts?
: '''Caesar:''' Surprisingly close. We use this technique to transfer unstable nanites. It puts them into a state of dormancy.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Of course. It's a hibernation chamber.
: '''Caesar:''' Only his nanites were dormant. There would still be neuron flow.
: '''Rex:''' Mind telling me what that means, exactly?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' He was... Aware. The whole time, for hundreds of years.
: '''Caesar:''' He would have felt every minute pass.
: '''Rex:''' No way! He's totally a mummy!
: '''Rex and Bobo:''' Wah!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Run! It's coming! It's coming?!
: '''Rex and Bobo:''' Wah!
: '''Rex:''' Easy, easy, Van Kleiss. You're back-- Back in your own time.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' No! No, it'll find me! It always does! You must protect me.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Tachyon readings off the chart! Rex, you can't affect that thing. I don't know what can.
: '''Caesar:''' It's a field of pure tachyons. I've got to get a sample.
: '''Rex:''' Oh, no, you don't!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I'm back! Back in my own time! You shall not have me?! OHHHH!
: '''Bobo:''' Settle down, Van Winkle.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex shudders]''
: '''Rex:''' Oh, no. It couldn't be. I need some way to contain it!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Tachyons can't be contained!
: '''Caesar:''' Yes, they can. Rex!
: ''[Caesar grunts]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, it's too risky!
: '''Rex:''' But I know what this is. Correction-- I know who this is.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex:''' Aah!
: ''[Rex groaning]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' It's... Breach.
: '''Rex:''' Breach. Breach! It's me-- Rex.
: '''Breach:''' Rex? Are you real... Or a dream?
: ''[Rex laughs]''
: '''Rex:''' Yeah, yeah, I'm-- I'm real.
: '''Breach:''' I was everywhere-- Everywhen. But I was nothing-- An emptiness, needing to be filled.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' The amp pack. Van Kleiss controlled it. When his nanites were active, Breach was drawn into his timeframe.
: ''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
: '''Caesar:''' The final joining would have destroyed them both.
: '''Breach:''' Guess I should say thanks.
: '''Rex:''' Hey, what are friends for? Um, we are still friends... Right?
: '''Caesar:''' You did well, little bro.
: '''Rex:''' And you have your time machine that... isn't a time machine. Everybody goes home happy.
: '''Caesar:''' That? A curiosity-- True. But it was never our goal.
: ''[Van Kleiss shivering]''
: ''[Van Kleiss chuckles]''
: '''Rex:''' Van Kleiss?! All this for him? what, they're gonna put him in jail?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' It's Providence, Rex. That's their jurisdiction.
: '''Caesar:''' No need to worry, little brother. He's going to be well supervised.
: '''Rex:''' Caesar, what is going on!?
: '''Caesar:''' Justice.
: '''Bobo:''' Two words-- Crème Brûlée. Ooh. Right after I make a french connection.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Welcome back, Van Kleiss. You look terrible. Ordinarily, I'd say get some rest, but you've had enough of that, I suppose.
: ''[Van Kleiss chuckles]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Pull it together. We have work to do. Do you know who I am?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Yes. I know who you are. It's been a long time. A very, very long time.

===Mind Games===
: '''Rex''': Yeah, I wouldn't be so sure of that.
: '''Six''': I told you not to get involved, Rex. You're not at full strength.
: '''Rex''': What was I supposed to do... Just leave it?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Six has a point, Rex. You're pushed to the edge lately. You can't see everyone.
: '''Rex''': Not listening! Don't worry, dude. I'll have you out of here before you can say... Circe?!
: '''Circe''': Hey, Rex. Rex! Aaaah!
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Rex! Rex, do you read? What's going on? Your bios are low.
: '''Rex''': Leave her alone! You okay? 
: '''Circe''': I think so. We have to go.
: '''Rex''': Think that's your cue. Hang on. I think I got it. Ow! Hate this things.
: '''Circe''': Try wearing one.
: '''Rex''': I have. So, what happened? I thought Providence had you at Abysus.
: '''Circe''': I got away.
: '''Rex''': What about the Pack?
: '''Circe''': The Pack? I... don't know. Things are bad out there, Rex. I've been on the run for weeks. Providence has been stepping up their capture orders. I think something big is going down.
: '''Rex''': Tell me about it. Listen, I know we're gonna want to say no, but with everything that's going on...
: '''Circe''': I should stay at the plant. It's safer, right?
: '''Rex''': Wow, that was... easy. I had a whole speech and everything.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Well, everything checks out. You're the picture of health. I wish you'd let me do some more thorough scans, through.
: '''Six''': How was it you said you got away?
: '''Circe''': It's a long story. You guys have bigger things to worry about than me... like the Meta-Nanites. Did you get the one from Abysus? Have you found anymore?
: '''Rex''': Ugh, who cares? Let's go do something fun. You want to put Bobo' hand in shaving cream?
: ''[Circe yawns]''
: '''Circe''': Actually, Rex, I'm kind of tired. I thing I might just crash if that's cool.
: '''Rex''': Oh... yeah. Stupid of me. You, uh, get some sleep. Hey, doc. What are you doing?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Rex. I was just... working. What are you doing up?
: '''Rex''': Ah, it's... stupid.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Yeah, probably. But... go ahead.
: '''Rex''': I'm... excited. Since I got breached, everything's been so crazy.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Since you got breached? Right.
: '''Rex''': But with Circe back, I'm starting to think maybe things will turn out okay.
: '''White Knight''': I need everyone in the situation room in five minutes.
: '''Rex''': So much for that.
: ''[Dr. Holiday yawns]''
: '''Dr. Holiday''': What'd I miss?
: '''Rex''': Wow, Doc. You sure got comfy quick.
: '''White Knight''': Listen up, people. We need to retrieve a valuable asset before it falls into enemy hands.
: '''Six''': What's the objective?
: '''White Knight''': This man... Dr. Peter Meechum.
: '''Rex''': That guy? I remember him. Van crazy kiddnaped his daughter.
: '''White Knight''': Meechum spent the last year at a safehouse facility... Codename: Pandora's Box... location know only to me.
: '''Rex''': Why all the cloak and dagger?
: '''White Knight''': Because Meechum was one of the original scientists on the Nanite Project. He was given a panic button in case of emergency. Thirty minutes ago... he activated it.
: '''Six''': Providence?
: '''White Knight''': We have to assume they're trying to assemble the original members of the Nanite Project. What Meechum knows is too valuable to fall into the wrong hands, so go get him.
: '''Six''': Maybe Circe should stay here.
: '''Rex''': What? Why?
: '''Six''': She's not on the team yet... not officialy.
: '''White Knight''': Take her. She'll be useful in the field.
: '''Rex''': Ahem. You guys forget you key? Did you check under the mat?
: '''Six''': Rex, focus on the mission. Get to Meechum!
: '''Rex''': Relax, Six. I could take these guys in my sleep, especially with help from... Huh? Circe? Uh... Time-out?
: '''Six''': Peter Meechum, you need to come with us.
: ''[Dr. Meechum scoffs]''
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Took you long enough.
: '''Rex''': Time in.
: '''White Knight''': Still no sign of Circe, Rex. We'll keep looking, but for right now, Meechum is our top priority.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': We'll find her, Rex. Don't worry.
: '''White Knight''': In the meantime, Dr. Meechum, I've checked, and your daughter is safe at her boarding school in England.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': My daughter. Right.
: '''White Knight''': We can make immediate arrangements to take you to her.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': No, I'd rather stay with you if that's all right. It's, uh... It's safer.
: '''White Knight''': Of course. White Knight out.
: '''Rex''': So, after that, providence attacked abysus to get the master control nanite. Guess you were next on their list.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': I see. And all this happened in the last year?
: '''Six''': You've missed a lot since you've been away, doctor.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Horrible. I could never work for a Providence like that. I have to say it's all very impressive. Providence has certainly done a lot in the last year.
: '''Caesar''': And with your help, doctor, we can do more.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Where's White Knight? I should tell him I've arrived.
: '''Black Knight''': I can answer that for you. It's good to have you back, doctor.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': What happened to White?
: '''Black Knight''': Just a routine change in command. Nothing to worry about. If you'll excuse me, gentlemen.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Tell me you have my money ready.
: '''Black Knight''': You get away you want when I get what I want... Not before.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Relax.
: '''Six''': I'm a professional, aren't I?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Six, see Meechum? I have some data I'd like to go over with him. Are you... okay?
: '''Six''': Rebecca, I have something important to tell you.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Okay. Well... Thanks for tell me.
: '''Six''': Rex, are you in here? I do not understand this show.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Am I interrupting?
: '''Six''': Not at all. What can I do for you?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Nothing important. I just wanted to say... earlier... that was nice. Unexpected but nice. 
: '''Six''': Earlier?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': In the lab?
: '''Six''': I have no idea what you're talking about.
: ''[Dr. Holiday scoffs]''
: '''Rex''': Six, I need to talk to you about Circe. Uh... Six? Earth to agent guy. You okay?
: '''Six''': I'm fine. I've just decided not to waste any more time on you, Rex.
: '''Rex''': Um... Is this because I accidentaly used your swords to slice a pizza?
: '''Six''': It's because you're weak. You don't have what it takes to complete the mission.
: '''Rex''': Ohh, I get it. This is one of your test, right?
: '''Six''': No test. Just me coming to my senses. You're not strong enough to survive what's coming. In the end, you're gonna let us all down.
: ''[Dr. Holiday crying]''
: '''Rex''': Doc? What's wrong?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': ''[Sobbing]'' I-It's nothing, Rex. I didn't want you to see me like this.
: '''Rex''': Well, what is it?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': ''[Sobbing]'' It's Six. I'm afraid of him.
: '''Rex''': What?! That's crazy talk.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': ''[Sobbing]'' Is it? You have to have seen it. He's violent, on edge. He's losing control.
: '''Rex''': Are we talking about the same Six?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': We don't even known him. He was a killer, Rex. The old Six might have changed, but how do we know this Six didn't come back... Wrong?
: ''[Dr. Meechum whistling]''
: '''Dr. Meechum''': I have a question. How do you plan to re-create the project without a bio-interface expert?
: '''Caesar''': Oh, but we do have one.
: '''Van Kleiss''': No! The string doesn't work. Gordian knot, tied up tight. Alexander cheated. Can't cheat. Eyes on your own paper! Peter? No! Can't be! Different time, different me.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Van Kleiss? You brought back that monster?
: '''Caesar''': Of course. He was the original interface programmer. Who better?
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Excuse me a moment. White, what the heck is going on?!
: '''White Knight''': Peter? Where are you?
: '''Dr. Meechum''': I'm at Providence. Where are you?
: '''White Knight''': Providence. But that's not... I have to go. We have a problem.
: '''Rex''': You're darn right we have a problem, because this isn't Peter Meechum!
: ''[Dr. Meechum laughing maniacally]''
: '''Scarecrow''': Heya, Rex. Miss me?
: '''Rex''': Who are you? Where's Meechum?
: '''White Knight''': His name's John Scarecrow. He's an EVO, specialist in infiltration. Black Knight played us.
: '''Scarecrow''': You really don't remember me, Rex? I'll give you a hint. We used to share a stomping ground. We had a problem with a shapes hifter once.
: '''Rex''': You were in Hong Kong.
: '''Scarecrow''': Give the man a prize.
: ''[Scarecrow laughs]''
: '''Six''': I think he went that way.
: '''Rex''': Wait a minute.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: ''[Scarecrow laughs]''
: '''Rex''': I cannot believe I fell for that.
: '''Scarecrow''': Look at you. You're ridiculous. You think he'll come to his senses, realize his true feelings? Then what? You'll settle down. White picket fence. Little agent kids. You're fooling yourself. You're the worst of them... you know that?...  Because you know better. You really think you can save the world? None of you can survive what's coming!
: '''Rex''': Prove it's really you. What's my favorite color?
: '''Six''': I have no idea.
: '''Rex''': It's you, all right.
: ''[Dr. Holiday screaming]''
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Put it away. I'm not the EVO.
: '''Six''': We heard you scream.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': That wasn't me.
: '''Six''': Let's all calm down. We can figure this out.
: '''Rex''': Why, Six? Because I'm weak? You don't think I can handle this?
: '''Six''': I never said that.
: '''Rex''': But you think it, right? I don't see you putting down your guns, doc.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': I know it's not me. I'm not sure about you two.
: ''[Scarecrow laughs]''
: '''Scarecrow''': So easy. I barely had to nudge you.
: '''Rex''': Whatever you're after, you're not getting away with it.
: '''Scarecrow''': Get away with it?! Re-e-e-x, I got what I needed in the first five minutes.
: '''Rex''': Then why? Why do all this?
: '''Scarecrow''': Simple. I wanted to do to you what you did to me.
: '''Rex''': I'm done with you!
: ''[Scarecrow groans]''
: '''Scarecrow''': The big hero. Why do you get to forget? It's not fair!
: '''Rex''': Whine, whine, whine. What... you didn't get enough crazy hugs as a kid?
: '''Scarecrow''': You think I'm the only one you hurt? Then tell me--
: '''Skwydd''': What about us? Why'd you betray me? 
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Circe:''' You promised to protect me, Rex. Where were you?
: '''Rex:''' Stop it!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: ''[Rex breathing heavily]''
: '''Caesar''': Face it, bro. It's why I left you. Mom and dad, too.
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex''': You are your own worst enemy.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': That's for Rex. That's for Providence. And that was for the kiss.
: '''White Knight''': Providence won this round. No question.
: '''Rex''': They have the real Meechum. Maybe more.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': There's no telling how much of our system Scarecrow uploaded.
: '''Six''': But we have to assume they know everything we do.
: ''[Scarecrow laughs evilly]''
: '''White Knight''': Black Knight is coming for us. It's just a matter of time.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': So? I mean, we knew that. Nothing's changed, right?
: '''Six''': Rex, this is what they wanted-- To turn us against each other.
: '''Rex''': Yeah, and look how easy it was. We thought we were a team, but we're not. We're vulnerable.
: '''Van Kleiss''': It's Heisenberg's uncertainty principle. Looking past Occam's Razor, we can clearly see to a quantum level. A quantum level is what I'm trying to achieve, because if I didn't do the quantum level, then I can understand what's happening.
: '''Caesar''': I know you don't like this, but it's not about us.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Can you do it? Can you control him?
: '''Caesar''': Leave Van Kleiss to me.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': What about Black Knight? I don't like her, Salazar. Never did.
: '''Caesar''': Trust me, Peter-- When we're finished, the end will justify the means.

===Hermanos===
:'''Rex Salazar''': WH-O-O-O-OA! Unh! Ugh!
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Agent Six''': Be careful, Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm touched by your concern, Six.
:'''Agent Six''': It's not for you. We don't have Providence to pick up the tab anymore. You break it, you buy it.
:''[Rex growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm saving the day here. What are they gonna do--Sue me? Oh, come on! It was a rhetorical question! What was I supposed to do? The whole building was made of glass!
:'''Lawyer''': ''[Hispanic accent]'' Glass? What are you talking about?
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm... not talking about anything. What are you talking about?
:'''Lawyer''': Mr. Salazar, I'm an associate at the stateside branch of the Argentinean firm Gomez and Gomez. And today, sir, is your lucky day!
:'''Rex Salazar''': What's this?
:'''Lawyer''': It's yours!
:'''Noah Nixon''': No away! This is your house?
:'''Rex Salazar''': I know! According to the lawyer guy, this rancho in Argentina's been in my family forever. And ever since my parents died in the event, those lawyers have been trying to track down the heir. And guess who that is.
:'''Noah Nixon''': You and your brother?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, yeah, right. Him too.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Not a good time, Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Dude, it's never a good time, but you go to-- O...kay, so maybe this really isn't a good time, but this is important. I was being chased by a lawyer. No, I wasn't being sued this time. But you'll never guess what he--
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Is this about the rancho?
:'''Rex Salazar''': You know about it?
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Those lawyers have left me a dozen messages.
:'''Rex Salazar''': And you didn't tell me? Caesar, I never even knew we had this place! There might be photo albums, home movies-- I don't know-- maybe even an old teddy bear or something.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': You never had a teddy bear.
:'''Rex Salazar''': See, the fact that you know that and I don't-- that's why we need to go down there.
:'''Lawyer''': Clear!
:'''Caesar Salazar''': I can't, Rex. My work's already been interrupted once today. Although... Now that you mention the ranch, it does bring back some memories.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Really? Like what?
:'''Caesar Salazar''': There was an experiment I remember mom and dad running. If you could find the notes, it might save some time on the work I'm doing now.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Notes? Come on. Isn't family more important than-- Guess not.
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Why can't I have a normal brother? Know anything about cows? Thanks for coming with me. This is really a family thing, but my brother is, well-- My brother. 
:'''Noah Nixon''': Are you kidding? I'm psyched! I've been killing myself trying to find a birthday present for Claire. A vacation at my best friend's awesome ancestral estate? What other guy could offer her that?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, but then why bring Annie?
:'''Annie''': Um, this just kind of broke off.
:''[Annie, Claire and Noah screaming]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': AAAAAAH!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': I sure hope this isn't included in Six's &quot;You break it, you buy it&quot; policy.
:'''Annie''': Sorry.
:'''Rex Salazar''': No problem. We're here.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Are... you sure this is the place?
:'''Noah Nixon''': What happened to it?
:'''Annie''': Hey, don't look at me. I just got there.
:''[Annie gasps]''
:'''Annie''': Okay, that was me.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I guess this must be my... family.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Looks like you-- But with a 'stache.
:'''Annie''': I like you with a 'stache.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Hey, there are chickens in here!
:'''Annie''': And llamas!
:'''Noah Nixon''': Chicken, llamas-- And a funny-looking bull.
:''[Chiquito snorts]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': I-I-I take it back! You're not funny-looking!
:'''Chiquito''': This place is Durango's!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, actually--
:'''Chuquito''': No fancy talk! Just go!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Ugh! Okay, number one, how is &quot;actually&quot; fancy talk! Number two, I don't know who Durango is, but this farm isn't his. And number three--
:''[Chiquito grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Ugh! Ugh! All right, there's no misunderstanding the international language of getting punched in the face. So read my fist-- Get out of my house!
:'''Chiquito''': Durango will not be happy!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, don't know who that guy was, but problem solved.
:'''Noah Nixon''': Uh, you think? Aah!
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Senior Durango''': Calmate, Chiquito. You are my brother. I would not do anything to hurt mi hermano. Unless you force me to. I cannot lose that tract of land. Without its right of way, I will lose my claim on the rest of the county. But never mind. They will learn-- When you mess with the bull, you get the horns.
:'''Rex Salazar''': OHHH! Ugh!
:'''Noah Nixon''': A chicken just tried to poop on my shoe!
:'''Rex Salazar''': I think I can top you there.
:'''Noah Nixon''': No offense, but when I asked Claire to come here, this wasn't what I was hoping for.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, me either. I mean, I was thinking I'd find-- I don't know what. But everything in this place has been smashed or stolen. Maybe this whole family thing isn't for me.
:''[Noah gasps]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': That's the one!
:'''Claire Bowman''': Please, Noah. It just needed a little help laying an egg.
:'''Rex Salazar''': ''[Chuckling]'' What, did you grow up on a farm in Kansas?
:'''Claire Bowman''': An apartment in Chicago-- Which is where I learned to download videos onto my phone.
:'''Telephone Voice''': When caring for an egg bearing hen, remember to--
:'''Muchado''': Hola? Quien esta aquí?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Uh... hello?
:'''Muchado''': So, you are the Americans? I am Señor Muchado-- The juez.
:'''Claire Bowman''': That's like a judge?
:'''Muchado''': Sí. For all intents and purposes, I am the law in this county-- Which is why I have come here with him.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Good, because I definitely want to press charges.
:'''Muchado''': You misunderstand. I am here because of the trouble you caused for Chiquito.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Chiquito?
:''[Rex chuckles]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Your mom must have some sense of humor to name you &quot;Tiny&quot;.
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:'''Muchado''': Chiquito's brother is Señor Durango. He controls most of the land in this county, including this hacienda. At Señor Durango's request, I have prepared a legal order compelling you to vacate.
:'''Claire Bowman''': But this is Rex's farm.
:'''Annie''': Yeah, he's got a deed and everything.
:'''Muchado''': This might have some bearing-- If you were a Salazar.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, we're in luck. I am.
:'''Annie''': Maybe this will help.
:'''Muchado''': You may be a Salazar, but by our law, this land has been deemed abandoned, and Señor Durango has claimed it.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Sorry. Been sort of busy saving the world and stuff. But I'm here now, so consider his claim unclaimed, then reclaimed by me.
:'''Muchado''': It is not so simple. You would have to demonstrate you are actively maintaining the ranch. That means shearing and feeding the animals, bringing your bulls to market--
:'''Rex Salazar''': To market? What, like a... cattle drive?
:'''Claire Bowman''': No problem. We can totally figure out how to do that.
:'''Muchado''': A ranch this size requires at least a dozen hired men.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, just... uh...
:'''Muchado''': No one within 100 kilometers will help you cross Señor Durango. If you do this, you will do it alone. And you will fail.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Well, that guy was kind of a jerk.
:'''Annie''': Yeah. So, let's get to work.
:'''Noah Nixon''': How? Everything here is broken.
:'''Annie''': Uh, have you seen my house?
:'''Rex Salazar''': You guys don't have to do this.
:'''Claire Bowman''': What kind of friend would walk away now?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Uh... yeah! No way you could stop me from helping take care of these totally not-gross animals. 
:'''Rex Salazar''': Really?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Well, I'm smiling like that's what I mean, aren't?
:''[Noah exhales deeply]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': I can do this! I can't do this. Until I've done my milking warm-up.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Ugh. Hold this.
:'''Telephone Voice''': With you head resting on her flank, gently grasp the udder with the palm of your hand.
:'''Noah Nixon''': AAH!
:''[Claire giggles]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': I think she likes you.
:'''Noah Nixon''': Ugh!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': This is your home. Get in your home!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Whoa! AAAH! AAH! Ugh! This is hopeless! This farm only has one bull, and I can't even get it into the barn. And this... better just be mud.
:'''Annie''': Hang on! I'll help you!
:''[Annie gasps]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': No! Don't!
:'''Noah Nixon''': Are you guys okay?
:'''Claire Bowman''': What is it? A storm cellar?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Looks like some kind of lab.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Figures. My mom and dad were Caesar's parents, too. Of course they'd find a way to take work home with them. Probably where those notes Caesar wanted are. Might as well grab them before the judge kicks us out.
:'''Claire Bowman''': What's he talking about? I think we're doing a pretty good job taking care of the--
:'''Annie''': Uh, guys--
:''[Claire grunts]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': Wait-- Donkeys eat hay, don't they? Maybe we can use it to lure them back into the barn.
:'''Annie''': I got it! Ugh!
:''[Annie gasps]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': Well, on the plus side, at least we now know for sure that donkeys do eat hay.
:'''Rafael Salazar''': One day, these things are going to change the world, and you'll be there to see it.
:'''Violetta Salazar''': ''[chuckling]'' Caesar, please, mi hijo. Stop working for a minute and hold the camera.
:'''Young Caesar Salazar''': Okay! Okay!
:''[Claire sniffs]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': What's that smell?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Which one? Everything here smells.
:'''Claire Bowman''': No, it smells like... smoke!
:'''Annie''': Rex! The straw caught on fire, and it exploded!
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:'''Chiquito''': Hermano! No! Oomph!
:'''Senior Durango''': What were you thinking? I told you to smoke them out, not burn the land! This is my land! If you weren't my brother--
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:'''Senior Durango''': But you are. Come here.
:'''Rex Salazar''': So, you must be the brother. Hope I'm not interrupting some kind of weird tender moment.
:'''Senior Durango''': Soy Durango. And I hope there is still a chance we can reach a resonable agreement.
:'''Claire Bowman''': So, then you'll let Rex keep the farm? We played by the rules.
:'''Senior Durango''': Around here, I make the rules.
:'''Annie''': But the judge said--
:'''Senior Durango''': The judge works for me. Now, please, I'm giving you one last chance to leave.
:'''Noah Nixon''': Okay, sure! Oh, wait-- That's right. Your fire blew up what was left of our plane!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Uh, let me handle the trash-talking with the 20-foot-tall monster EVO, okay? Leave them out of this! They shouldn't even be here! It should have been my brother!
:'''Senior Durango''':  That is why you will lose your farm. Without family, a man is nothing. After all, what is this land to them?
:'''Rex Salazar''': I don't even know what this place is to me. I came here hoping to find out more about who my family is.
:''[Rex start looking at Noah, Claire and Annie, and smile to them]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': And I did. So, you're going to stop threatening them-- And me-- And get off my land.
:''[Durango snarls]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay. Here's the plan-- Stay behind me! Whoa! Ugh!
:'''Noah Nixon''': Well, there goes that plan.
:'''Senior Durango''': Hurt them. You can do that, can't you?
:'''Claire Bowman''': W-what do we do now?!
:'''Annie''': The only one of us with powers just got kicked to the curb.
:'''Noah Nixon''': That depends on what you mean by &quot;powers&quot;.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex muffled grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Not a good time, Caesar.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': I just wanted to tell you-- Forget about those notes. I realized that's not what's important about you going down there.
:''[Durango snarls]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Wow, Caesar. I can't believe you came around.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': I just realized-- The really important thing is, if you happen to find a termo-chronometer I remember having down there, it would save me from ordering one.
:''[Chiquito snarls]''
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:''[Chiquito snarls, roars]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': Ugh!
:''[Chiquito snorts]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:[''On videotape of the Salazar family]''
:'''Rafael Salazar''': One day these things are going to change the world and you'll be there to see it.
:'''Violetta Salazar''': Cesar, please miquito. Stop working for a minute and hold the camera.
:'''Young Caesar Salazar''': Okay, okay.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Noah Nixon''': This morning, I almost had to touch a cow's underparts. You think you can do me worse than that? Bring it.
:''[Chiquito snarls]''
:''[Chiquito roars]''
:'''Annie''': Ugh! I didn't mean for that to happen.
:'''Claire Bowman''': We did.
:'''Rex Salazar''': AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Ugh! AAAAAAAAAAARGH!
:'''Senior Durango''': OOMPH!
:''[Durango lows]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': WH-O-O-O-O-O-O O-OA!
:''[Durango lows]''
:''[Durango snorts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': AAAAAAAAH!
:''[Durango growls]''
:''[Durango growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Trust me-- My brother's let me down way worse. But what am I gonna do? He's my brother.
:'''Senior Durango''': It is over.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Nice ego there, but I've been hit a lot harder.
:''[Durango spits]''
:'''Senior Durango''': Those bells signal the market is ending soon. I can see you have yet to herd you cattle there.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, come on! The one cattle I've got doesn't even move!
:'''Senior Durango''': If you do not have your cattle to market before it ends, you will have failed to fulfill your deed, and this land will be mine.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Then I guess I don't have any time to waste talking about it.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Come on. Come here.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Forget it. I got this.
:'''Claire Bowman''': WHOO-HOO! Yes! Go, Rex!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': Where's Durango?
:'''Rex Salazar''': OWW! Come on! You don't move the whole time, and you can't stay still?
:''[Durango grunting]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': What is this, a western? You're actually trying to stop him with a rockslide?
:'''Senior Durango''': You? Here? How is that even possible?
:'''Telephone Voice''': Donkeys can be ridden surprinsingly fast if you--
:'''Noah Nixon''': Come on! Just give up! The farm belong to Rex. And I really want to get off this thing.
:'''Senior Durango''': You think I'm afraid of you ''[scoffs]'' boy?
:'''Claire Bowman''': Oh, it's not the boy you should be afraid of.
:'''Annie''': Oops.
:''[Durango grunting]''
:'''Senior Durango''': Ugh!
:''[Rex panting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': We sheared the llamas, we milked the cows, I got the bull to town. We did everything in the deed.
:'''Muchado''': Sí, sí. But more important, you faced Durango and won! Once the other ranchers hear of this, they won't be afraid. You have broken Durango's hold on our lands.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Wait-- You're... happy about that?
:'''Muchado''': Of course. I told you exactly what you had to do to legally gain control of the land, didn't I?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Huh. I guess you did.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Wow! Can you believe how you perfect this all worked out?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Yeah, uh, so, maybe we should get out of here before we wear out our welcome.
:'''Rex Salazar''': There's just one thing I want to do first.

===The Rescue===
:''Note'': Rex goes alone to rescue his girlfriend Circe from the clutches of Black Knight. but it turns out she has been waiting for him.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Alone Together===
:''Note'': Finally together at last, Rex and Circe reminiscence about their good and hard times together ans their romance begins to grow.
===Retribution===
===Temporary Insanity===

===Crime and Punishment===
:''Note:'' His false insanity revealed, Van Kleiss abducts Circe with the intent of punishing her for betraying him, due to her enduring love for Rex.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, Circe, you shall learn the ultimate price of betraying me.
:'''Rex:''' ''Leave her alone!!''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, Rex. For young love. One of your greatest weaknesses. After I finish off your beloved, you will no longer be a hindrance to me. 
:'''Rex''' (''enraged'')''':''' I ''said''...LEAVE HER ALONE!!!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Shadowed Past===

===Separation Anxiety===
===Brotherly Love===

===Rocky My World===
:'''Beverly:''' Oh, this is so awesome! We're seeing the Trendbenders live!
:'''Rex:''' Well, maybe not see them, but we'll totally hear them.
:'''Sebastian''': Attention! The Trendbenders will be arriving through the back of the club.
:'''Beverly:''' Slick trick! Yes, Rebecca. I know! Only drink the bottled water. No, we're not that close to the stage. Ugh! I know that's where they mosh-pit. Don't worry! Bye!
:'''Rex:''' Your sister is acting like your mother. I wouldn't put up with it. Doc?! I'm right next to her! Yes, we've got earplugs. Only bottled water-- I know! Yes, you'll pick us up at 11:00. Okay! Bye!
:'''Sly:''' ''[singing]'' I met a guy who has looking for a lucky break. I met a guy mad he wouldn't make a mistake. No loser here the weight would be upon his face. This ain't no lucky break it's just another day.
:'''Beverly:''' Hey!
:'''Rex:''' There's something wrong with that guy.
:'''Beverly:''' Yeah! It's called lack of social skills.
:'''Sebastian:''' We have to talk! You got to listen to me!
:'''Rex:''' I think they're a little too busy for a chat right now.
:'''Sebastian:''' It's me! Your first fan!
:'''Rex:''' Come on, dude. Can't you just watch the show, like everyone else?
:'''Sly:''' ''[singing]'' You won't bring me down. Yeah-yeah-yeah. You won't bring me down.
:'''Sebastian:''' I'm not just everyone else.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' You want to rethink trying to stop me?
:'''Beverly:''' Whoa! Geek in triplicate!
:'''Rex:''' More like EVO geek.
:'''Sebastian:''' I bet you're not even a real fan!
:'''Rex:''' Hey, I know their music!
:'''Sebastian:''' Yeah? What album is &quot;Bitten on the Wind&quot; from?
:'''Beverly:''' Uh, their first album.
:'''Sebastian:''' Wrong! Their third! Poser!
:'''Sly:''' Here's one from our first album-- &quot;Bitten on the Wind.&quot;
:'''Beverly:''' Told ya! Their first album! Who's the poser now?
:'''Sebastian:''' But it is their third. They keep denying their first two albums exist!
:'''Rex:''' Huh?
:''[Rex bones cracking]''
:'''Rex:''' Shouldn't you be home, making sure your mom isn't snooping around your basement? Ouch! All right, I've had enough.
:'''Sebastian:''' I know you. You're that guy from Providence that beats up on EVOs.
:'''Rex:''' And I'm guessing you're not one of my fans.
:'''Sebastian:''' This isn't over! They still need me to show them the way back. I'll make them listen to me.. No matter what! Ugh!
:'''Man:''' No re-entry without a hand stamp.
:'''Rex:''' Uh, but--
:'''JoJo:''' It's okay. He's with me. I'm JoJo, the band's manager.
:'''Beverly:''' Oh! Sly Tyler, vocals, six-stringer. Burrito Beau on the big bottom, and Leon Adler on the skins.
:'''Beau:''' Bass. Drums.
:'''Beverly:''' They're even cutter up close!
:'''JoJo:''' But Sebastian isn't. And now that fruitcake fan has become a major menace.
:'''Rex:''' You know who that guy is?
:'''Sly:''' Yeah, he's one of our first fans from way back.
:'''Leon:''' But he didn't like our change in music direction.
:'''Beau:''' Change, like in popular.
:'''Sly:''' So he started sending us nasty e-mails and slagging us on the fan sites.
:'''JoJo:''' But now he's turned violent, and it turns out he's... H-he's...
:'''Rex:''' An EVO that can multiply himself.
:'''JoJo:''' We can't handle that kind of threat, but you can.
:'''Beverly:''' Is this a job offer?
:'''JoJo:''' As head of security for the rest of the tour.
:'''Rex:''' Huh, I don't know. Putting up with groupies, great music, catering, the Rock'n'roll lifestyle-- Oh, right, like I'm not totally in for this!
:'''Beverly:''' And I'm your deputy, sheriff.
:'''Sly:''' Absolutely.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Absolutely not.
:'''Rex:''' They've got an EVO threat.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Fine, Rex. Beverly? And don't forget to use earplugs.
:'''Rex:''' Private jet to the next gig? Airline-- First class? Coach?
:'''JoJo:''' Of the road kind.
:'''Rex:''' Traveling the open road, bringing music to the people. Where to next?
:'''Beau:''' Eugene, Oregon. ''[Unenthusiastically]'' WHOO-HOO!
:'''Rex:''' Ow!
:'''Leon:''' Bad seat. Got a lot of them.
:''[Beau farts]''
:''[Rex sniffs]''
:'''Leon and Rex:''' Oh!
:''[Leon coughs]''
:'''Leon:''' Isn't the ozone layer depleted enough, Beau?
:'''Rex:''' Want to hit the streets and check out the local scene?
:'''Sly:''' Seriously, man? It's just another town.
:'''Beau:''' Been there. Seen them all.
:'''TV Announcer:''' He's currently under 3, 2 behind the leader. This is a very tricky--
:'''Rex:''' Oh, let's throw this in the pool!
:'''Leon:''' Hey, I'm watching something, dude!
:'''Rex:''' How about a food fight?
:'''Sly:''' Sorry, man. Not feeling it.
:'''Rex:''' This isn't feeling very Rock'n'Roll.
:'''JoJo:''' Rex, we hired you to consult on security, not rock-tour clichés.
:'''Sebastian:''' Room service.
:'''JoJo:''' Again? You guys, this is costing too much.
:'''Sly:''' But we didn't order anything else.
:'''Sebastian:''' That's okay. This is on the house!
:''[Sebastian grunts]''
:''[JoJo gasps]''
:'''Rex:''' Look out! He's got... Paperwork?
:'''Sebastian:''' I've got notes and visuals on where you've gone commercial and how you can get back to your roots! He's with the band now? He's not even a real fan! You see? You've got to come with me. You need my help!
:'''Rex:''' They're not going anywhere, but you are!
:'''Sebastian:''' My copies don't feel pain.
:'''Rex:''' But you do!
:'''Girl:''' Whoa! You must really be a big fan!
:'''Sebastian:''' Only of their early stuff.
:'''Girl:''' Eww! Their early stuff is weak.
:'''Teen girl:''' But their new songs are awesome!
:''[Girls giggling]''
:''[Sebastian growls]''
:''[Girls screaming]''
:'''Rex:''' Excuse me. I'm with the band.
:'''Teen girl:''' But you missed your ride.
:'''Rex:''' That's okay. I've got my own.
:'''Man:''' Rock bands! Never again!
:'''Sebastian:''' I've got to take you away from this sellout existence, where you deny your first two albums even exist.
:'''Sly:''' B-but those albums weren't any good. That's why we only had a few fans, like you.
:'''Rex:''' If there's only three of them, then who's driving the car?
:'''Sebastian:''' Aah!
:'''Rex:''' Did he... Ah! Rent that car from the circus? Time to cut this act short.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' Oh, man. I went to my first Trendbenders show in that car.
:'''Rex:''' Maybe I can't turn off your obsession, but I can shut down your nanites.
:'''Beau:''' That clone-boy?
:'''Rex:''' I don't think he's going to be a problem now.
:'''JoJo:''' We can still use you on the tour. What did you say?
:'''Rex:''' Yes!
:'''Sly:''' Good man! ''[singing]'' You see the light, and it's oh, so bright, a million times more than before, now we'll show you the door, some starts fade, and some starts shine, the bright ones stand the test of time, the others burn out and sing, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, kill your radio, you live a life for all to see, sometimes it's right, sometimes obscene, now you're the enemy, it's one for all and all for me, unlocking doors and misery, the others burn out and sing, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, out of time, kill your radio, out of time, kill your radio, out of time, kill your radio, it isn't all, that it's cracked up to be, I never thought it'd be so easy, I wouldn't have it any other way, you see the light, and it's oh, so bright, a million times more than before, now we'll show you the door, some starts fade, and some starts shine, the bright ones stand the test of time, the others burn out and sing, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, &quot;yeah&quot;.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Sly:''' At least we got a day off before the next gig.
:'''JoJo:''' Guys, a club owner in fleeceburg just offered us amazing money. I booked it.
:'''Rex:''' For when?
:'''JoJo:''' We're already running late.
:'''Sly:''' They're paying money for us to play in this dump?
:'''JoJo:''' Big money. Come on. You're on in ten minutes.
:'''Rex:''' I'm guessing ticket sales are a little slow.
:'''Leon:''' Are we breaking up?
:'''Beau:''' This dive seems awfully familiar.
:'''Sebastian:''' It should.
:'''Rex:''' That voice seems awfully familiar!
:'''Teens:''' Dude! Nobody move! What's going on? Who's touching me? What is this? Excuse me. What is going on?
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' I built an exact replica of the first club you played in.
:'''Beau:''' Hey, that's one of my puke stains. Fruitcake knows his details.
:'''Rex:''' But I cured you.
:'''Sebastian:''' Hmm... That was a copy, not the original.
:'''Sly:''' Whatever. When's this gonna end, fan-boy?
:'''Sebastian:''' It ends tonight. Check the floor at your feet.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' I've given up trying to get you back to your roots. So now you'll play what I want to hear for the next hour. And then your career ends with a bang. :'''Sly:''' On behalf of the band, I'd like to thank our manager, JoJo, for booking this totally insane gig!
:''[JoJo laughs nervously]''
:'''Sebastian:''' The sound of cold, hard cash is the only music sellouts like you listen to anymore.
:'''Rex:''' They're not sellouts. They just got more popular than you wanted.
:'''Sebastian:''' You try anything, and I'll end their last gig prematurely. You're only alive because I want you to see what the Trendbenders used to be like. For the next hour give me the early stuff, when you were cool.
:'''Sly:''' Why bother? You're gonna nuke us, anyway.
:'''Sebastian:''' Because if you don't play, this happens!
:'''Sly:''' Aah!
:'''Leon, Sly and Beau:''' No more!
:'''Sly:''' Okay, dude, what's the first number?
:'''Sebastian:''' &quot;Crawling undertow&quot;!
:'''Sly:''' Well, how does it feel?
:'''Sebastian:''' First album, seventh song. Fifth song on the Japanese import.
:'''Sly:''' To get that weight back on our shoulders--
:'''Sebastian:''' You're giving it a beat that wasn't in the original, man! Not even in the remix from the box set. Play it right this time! I'm missing the concert because of you!
:'''Rex:''' Stinks to be you. Got to cure the real Sebastian. But which one is the mother ship?
:'''Sebastian:''' You can't even play your old songs like you used to. Total disappointment. Let's end this bummer concert.
:'''Sly:''' But we still have over a half-hour left!
:'''Sebastian:''' Last song, no encore.
:'''Rex:''' Tell me who's the original, or I'll turn you into dessert topping!
:'''Sebastian:''' You don't scare me. I don't feel pain.
:'''Rex:''' But the real Sebastian does. Sly! Maximum feedback! Now! Thanks, Doc.
:'''Sebastian''': AAAHHHH!
:'''Rex:''' How do you like their new hit, Sebastian Prime? Here's another new groove you're not going to like.
:'''Sebastian:''' Aah!
:'''Rex:''' Congrats. You're back to being a solo act.
:'''Sebastian:''' You've got to listen to me!
:''[Sebastian yelling]''
:'''Rex:''' Kidnapping, assault and battery, construction without a permit-- that should keep him away for years.
:'''JoJo:''' Have to say it, guys, but we've got a gig in toledo to get to. Security?
:'''Rex:''' Not anymore. Sebastian's done, and so am I.
:'''Sly:''' Dude, I thought you wanted the rock'n'roll lifestyle.
:'''Rex:''' I'm not tough enough for it. I need to get back to something easier, like city-smashing EVOs and conspiracies to take over the world.
:'''Beau:''' Don't know what your missing.
:'''Rex:''' I think do. But I don't miss this. Yes, doc? Don't need my earplugs anymore. I quit. Will you let me tell you? No, the EVO threat wasn't just an excuse. Well, I'm coming back! Will you let-- Doc!

===Lost and Found===

===My Brother's Keeper===

===Target: the Consortium===
: '''Jungle Cat:''' You are...?
: '''Rex:''' Rex. Rex Salazar. What are you?
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Lost... and found.
: '''Rex:''' HUNH! AAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
: ''[Rex gasps deeply]''
: '''Rex:''' Whoa. That was a total zero on the fun meter.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Learning how to communicate with the nanite world isn't about fun. Did you get anywhere at all?
: '''Rex:''' Don't know. I connected with a Master Control Nanite for a second, and then I lost it. But I also got, like, this feeling that something's about to happen in the nanite world. Something... big.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Argh! This is Rylander's speciality, not mine. There's no way I can cover for him.
: '''Caesar:''' Not to worry, Dr. Meechum. You won't have to any longer. Dr. Rylander will take over from here.
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Oh, really, Caesar? From his current location of beyond the grave?
: '''Rylander:''' Actually, Peter, I was never completely dead-- just spread a little thin-- ''[chuckling]'' Moleculary speaking. Caesar's been working on putting me back together.
: '''Black Knight:''' All of them together-- At last. Contact the Consortium. We now have something to show them. Something big.
: '''White Knight:''' Even having two of the Master Control Nanites doesn't change the vital importance of finding the other three. But the latest intel I've received could give us a way to neutralize the group obsessed with these machines.
: '''Six:''' The Consortium.
: '''Rex:''' Aren't those the money guys that bankrolled the Nanite Project in Providence?
: '''White Knight:''' The same. Formerly made-up of six members, but now five-- Reddick, made his wealth in real estate and construction. Vostock, black market finance and KGB... Zanubian, arms dealing and shipping. Roswell, oil and minerals. Anthony Haden-Scott, worldwide media.
: ''[Rex munches]''
: '''Rex:''' Should we be writing this down for the pop quiz later?
: '''White Knight:''' You may be facing them soon because of the efforts of our stealthiest agent.
: '''Rex:''' Mm! Thank you! I think.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' He's not talking about you.
: '''Rex:''' Hey! It's Evo-cat guy! Uh... sorry-- What's your name? O...kay, cat with no collar, what's in the sack? Bunch of canaries? Well, that's... something.
: '''White Knight:''' Our associate has been tracking the Consortium with a little help from a former member.
: '''Rex:''' I remember him! He's the one Rylander got revenge on with an EVO love letter.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' That he never recovered from. But he's still full of useful knowledge about the other members.
: '''Rex:''' As long as you have a towel handy for the answers.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' The Consortium has financed a new facility for nanite research. All of them will be at that location within the next six hours.
: '''Six:''' And so will we.
: '''White Knight:''' A rare opportunity like this can't be missed. You three will capture the Consortium and bring them to a secure location. Understood?
: '''Rex:''' Purrfectly.
: '''Black Knight:''' Gentlemen, I wanted you here today to--
: '''Reddick:''' &quot;Wanted?&quot; Sounds like a command.
: '''Vostok:''' ''[Russian accent]'' You get to ask, not order.
: '''Black Knight:''' I'm sorry. Let me restate. I asked you here because I can now present some major developments in your quest. I finished construction on the nanite reactor and reassembled against all odds the original science team to run it. Doctors Meechum, systems expert. Salazar, artificial intelligence. Rylander, microengineering. And Van Kleiss, biomechanical integration.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Nanite's recorder locked in. Hologram Rylander saves money on meals. Glow, glow, glow, yipper.
: ''[Van Kleiss smooches]''
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' A human flashlight and a brain-fried babbler. This is what I'm supposed to work with.
: '''Vostok:''' Looks like your geniuses have some issues.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' ''[British accent]'' I seem to recall there were two other Salazars on the team.
: '''Black Knight:''' They're dead-- And just as well. Considering their actions are responsible for our setbacks, I highly doubt they would have cooperated.
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Black Pawns:''' Ohh!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Black Pawns got to talk to their costume designer. Way too stuffy.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Be quiet.
: '''Six:''' Our target?
: '''Roswell:''' ''[Southern accent]'' Little lady, I'm hoping you didn't get me out here just to watch some lab jockeys do their homework.
: '''Vostok:''' I know I've got better things to do.
: '''Black Knight:''' Aside from the all-important reassembly of the science team and activation of the nanite reactor, I do have another development to show you.
: '''Roswell:''' Yeah? What else you got?
: '''Black Knight:''' An acquisition.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Lost... and found.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' What's wrong with you?
: '''Rex:''' Forget the Consortium! I know where we can find a Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Six:''' Where?
: '''Rex''': Here.
: '''Six:''' We're doing both. You two get the nanite, I'll get the Consortium.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' On of the five? That's all?
: '''Reddick:''' You know we need all of the Master-Control Nanites to do us any good.
: '''Vostok:''' What about the two you lost? And the other two still out there?
: '''Black Knight:''' We'll have the other four in due time. Take this back to the vault. But remember that each one has its own useful powers. : '''Roswell:''' Not enough to drag me all the way out there, little lady.
: '''Black Knight:''' &quot;Black Knight&quot;.
: '''Black Pawns:''' You're not one of us.
: '''Six:''' Stay clear of the Pawns. They're not buying our cover. Repeat-- Stay clear of the Pawns.
: '''Rex:''' Steel door. A vault!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' That was close.
: '''Rex:''' Got it. Have to be as stealthy as you from now on.
: ''[Jungle Catsnarls]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarling]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Van Kleiss!
: ''[Jungle Cat muffled grunting]''
: '''Rex:''' Way not to be stealthy. Sorry, cat guy. I know you want payback for him turning you into stone and all, but the nanite is more important.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Security alert. Intruder.
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' You find the nanite. I'll be a diversion.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' She has shown us some progress. That one nanite is significant in itself.
: '''Reddick:''' It's all five or nothing. Or are you thinking of working a separate deal with the one?
: '''Vostok:''' Can we please not talk like this while those two are in the room?
: '''Roswell:''' Yeah, Xanubian, put a sock in all your yammerin'.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Another intruder at security zone three. It's Agent Six.
: '''Rex:''' Gotcha.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Unh! Aah!
: '''Rex:''' I'll take that. Six! I've got the nanite!
: '''Six:''' Meet your outside.
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Rex:''' I've got it! Let's scat, cat!
: '''Black Knight:''' If he's here-- So is Rex. Vault security, come in.
: '''Reddick:''' Is there a problem?
: '''Black Knight:''' A minor security issue. I'm taking care of it.
: '''Vostok:''' ''[Russian accent]'' You better, little lady.
: '''Rex:''' Well, mission half accomplished.
: '''Six:''' This should complete it.
: '''Rex:''' You planted a bomb?!
: '''Six:''' Plan &quot;B&quot;.
: '''Rex:''' The cat! He's still inside! No!! We've got to go back for the cat! He's on his own mission. Van Kleiss is there.
: '''Six:''' Understood.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Black Knight, shouldn't we evacuate?
: '''Black Knight:''' The security threat has been removed. Among other things. Track them, find them.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Interlace template, instal copper buffers, hold the mayo, set core temp, heat cold fries.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Remember me?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Someone let the cat in.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' You cast me aside as if I was garbage. Turned me to stone. Drained me of life-- Almost. Now it's your turn to suffer.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Had a kitty once. Not you. Bubbles liked catnip and parsnips. Chapped lips. Hip, hip, hooray!
: ''[Jungle Cat growls]''
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' If you're here to clean up, ask for directions, not Dr. Screwloose.
: '''Rex:''' Ugh! Meechum. Bro. He's here to put Van Kleiss out of the world's misery. Give me a reason why he shouldn't.
: ''[Jungle Cat growls]''
: '''Rylander:''' Because the world needs him right now, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' Dr. Rylander! How did you--
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' You got it to work.
: '''Rylander:''' I've looked better, I'll admit, but I'm still very much alive. And so happy to see you again.
: '''Rex:''' If you could bring him back--
: '''Caesar:''' Sorry, Rex. It won't work for mom and dad.
: '''Rex:''' So, you've come back-- But you're working for them! It seems crazy, I know, but look at our progress-- The nanite reactor is almost operational.
: '''Rex:''' Not if I destroy it.
: '''Black Knight:''' Surround them.
: '''Caesar:''' Trust me, hermano, We're doing the right thing.
: '''Rex:''' You keep saying that, but I don't believe it anymore!
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Bubbles, I'm sorry. Here, kitty, kitty. Left you out in the rain, rain go away--
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarling]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh! Easy on the hot sauce, Peter, Peter pumpkin two seater.
: '''Rylander:''' Tell him, Caesar.
: '''Rex:''' Tell me what?
: '''Six:''' Revenge time is up.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: ''[Jungle Cat roars]''
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Aah! Careful! Our work! Ugh! Take it outside!
: '''Rex:''' Ugh!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Rex. Rex Salazar.
: '''Rex:''' I can't talk now! Ugh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Thank you.
: '''Rex:''' You're so not welcome.
: '''Black Knight:''' You should have left when you had the chance.
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' You guys have such a great cafeteria.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Had to come back for more.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Aah! Unh!
: '''Six:''' Unh!
: ''[Black Knight grunting]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Unh!
: '''Six:''' UNNNNNNNNH!
: '''Black Knight:''' Ugh!
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Rex:''' Let's say adiós.
: '''Six:''' There's still plan &quot;B&quot;.
: '''Rex:''' We're not assassins.
: '''Six:''' You're not. This might be our one chance.
: '''Rex:''' To be like them? Then what makes us different?
: '''Six:''' Go. I'm right behind you.
: '''Roswell:''' You brought us into an ambush! Right behind you, Mr. Chatterbox.
: '''Vostok:''' You are cowards.
: '''Reddick:''' Graveyards are full of dummies that thought they were though.
: '''Vostok:''' Black Knight, we have a lot to discuss about your future.
: '''Black Knight:''' By all means, let's talk.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Where's Six?
: '''Rex:''' He said he was right behind us.
: '''Six:''' I am. The Consortium still has to be dealt with.
: '''Rex:''' We now have three Master Control Nanites. I'd say the Consortium has to deal with us.
: '''Six:''' Understood.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Purrfectly.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' I'm shocked. What happened?
: '''Black Knight:''' It seems Vostok had an unfortunate run-in with our intruders as he was leaving. But, there's good news. The reactor is gone. Soon we will have all the nanites we need.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' &quot;We&quot;?
: '''Black Knight:''' I think it's time we walked about my promotion.

===Convergence===
===Enter the Nanite World===

===Enemies Mine===
: '''Valve:''' Battle is to be waged between your courage and my power. You lose.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Valve, my friend. Lovely day for a riot, don't you think?
: '''Valve:''' What do you want, Gatlocke?
: '''Gatlocke:''' I want lots of things-- A doomsday weapon, my own private island, for my mom to stop calling me to fix her computer. But what I really want is to give you a message. It's time. I suppose I'll make the introductions.
: '''Valve:''' A biker needs no introduction. And everyone knows Hunter Cain.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Everything is going according to plan. We get one more thing. Then we get wrecked.
: '''Rex:''' Sorry we're late.
: '''Bobo:''' We're not late. We're fashionably early.
: '''Providence Agent:''' I was starting to think I was on my own. I've been calling for help, but  Providence hasn't answered.
: '''Six:''' What set this off?
: '''Providence Agent:''' No idea. One moment everything was fine. The next moment, complete chaos.
: '''Rex:''' I'm heading in. I'll lock up when I'm done. Oh, don't bother getting up. I'm just gonna knock you back down again.
: '''Bobo:''' Back in your cages, you filthy animals!
: '''Rex:''' Huh? What? You? It's a who's-who of old EVOs. Whew! Really not in the mood for this. You're kidding me. You?!
: '''Gatlocke:''' Three men, one objective, no rules. Oh, this is exciting, isn't it? Or is it just me?
: '''Valve:''' The others are saying that Rex is here. Rex will get his when we're ready.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Watch yourselves. This one's unpredictable. We know what you want, No-Face. Then we can give it to you. Do what we say. Then you'll get Rex. You'll get the chance to tear Rex apart. Piece by piece. Now we're ready.
: '''Rex:''' So you remember who I am. Surprised you have a big enough brain for that. These cells are pretty dull. Let's redecorate. No way I'm letting an EVO get won over on me. Especially a big old frog.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Almost out. Freedom is just a... Bottomless ravine away.
: '''Valve:''' The biker begs the question, how are we getting across?
: '''Gatlocke:''' You know that's not really how begging the question is supposed to be used. Are we kidding? Anyone who gets worked up over that phrase needs to be savagely beaten.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' This'll override the drawbridge system.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Ooh, now how would someone like you procure something like that?
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Friends and hide places.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, frog legs. Let's put you in solitary confinement.
: '''Bobo:''' Do you look like you got run over by an overstuffed garbage truck?
: '''Rex:''' Feels like it. This is a prison riot. Where's Providence? They should be all over this.
: '''Six:''' They never responded to any calls.
: '''Rex:''' It's a setup. Providence wanted this to happen. But why?
: '''Six:''' Six here. Go ahead.
: '''Rex:''' Wait. This bridge wasn't down before.
: '''Bobo:''' Yeah. About that. Some of the prisoners escaped together. Gatlocke...
: '''Rex:''' That's bad.
: '''Bobo:''' Hunter Cain...
: '''Rex:''' That's even worse!
: '''Bobo:''' Valve.
: '''Rex:''' That's... Really? Valve?
: '''Bobo:''' Yeah. And No-Face.
: '''Rex:''' Those four are loose? Together?
: '''Six:''' We've got a bigger problem.
: '''Rex:''' How can it be bigger than this?
: '''Six:''' The EVOs in the city-- The only thing keeping them tame are their control collars.
: '''Rex:''' And this is a problem because...?
: '''Six:''' Because someone has shut them all down.
: '''Rex:''' Let me get that for you.
: '''Bobo:''' Dumpster dog. Considering you used to ride around in the Paris, I guess you're moving up in the world. Main to your mud.
: '''Six:''' Are you injured?
: '''Rex:''' Just worn out. Is this day over yet?
: '''Bobo:''' Oh! Signs pointing no.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? That came from the track. Can you handle things here?
: '''Bobo:''' Only one way to find out. Valve. Those nanite superchargers you keep using are bad for your health.
: '''Valve:''' If I were you, I'd be more concerned with your own short-term health.
: '''Rex:''' Please, like I have anything to worry about from you. The other three, they're dangerous. You, you're just comedy relief.
: '''Valve:''' I am not. Comedy relief.
: '''Rex:''' Well, you're not funny, that's for sure.
: '''Valve:''' Like the road that continues on, so must the biker.
: '''Rex:''' Where did he go so? Ew! Get away from my tacos, cockroach! Huh? You running away? I'll give you this much, Valve. Maybe you're getting smarter.
: '''No-Face:''' Unlike you.
: '''Rex:''' I put you away once, No-Face. I'll do it again.
: '''No-Face:''' The one who makes machines. The one we've been waiting for.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Figures you try to shoot a guy in the back.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' All I see is a filthy EVO.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, first off, that Lai is tired. Second off, last time I checked, you're teaming up with one. Would that make you an EVO lover? All this hide and seek is wearing me down! Huh? Figures.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Leaving so soon? That's not going to impress the hiring committee. Now, let's see what we have here. &quot;Honor roll, A/V Club.&quot; Ugh. &quot;Glee Club.&quot; ''[Scoffs]'' I'm going to have to be brutally honest with you. You're perfect for my gang. Can you sing soprano? My last soprano drove his motorcycle off a cliff. He survived, but his voice was never the same. By the way, can you fly? This is quite the surprise. I'm willing to hire you, Rex, but you better have some excellent references.
: '''Rex:''' Back to prison, Gatlocke!
: '''Gatlocke:''' Then consider the offer rescinded! You could be a valued member of my gang. It's a tough job market out there, you know?
: '''Rex:''' I'd never work for you!
: '''Gatlocke:''' No, not with that attitude, you wouldn't. Welcome to my gang. Your first task is to destroy Rex-- That guy right there.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Gatlocke:''' Your second task is to complete harassment training. I teach the class. This pamphlet explains everything.
: '''Rex:''' No, no, no!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, come in. What's happening?
: '''Rex:''' One really bad day.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Your nanite readings are off the charts.
: '''Rex:''' No surprise. I've been fighting and curing EVOs non stop.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' We need to upload your nanites immediately.
: '''Rex:'''  Now? Doc, my four worst enemies are still on the loose. Well, my three worst enemies in Valve. Plus the city's in chaos. And where in the world is Providence? How come they're not here dealing with this?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Six and Bobo can mop up the last few EVOs. You have to offload.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, fine. But we better make it fast.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You'll be locked in the chamber for one hour.
: '''Rex:''' Just do it, Doc.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' This could be a long sixty minutes.
: '''Valve:''' According to the tracking bug, Rex is inside.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Gentlemen, this is what we've been waiting for. It's time for Rex to die.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' They followed him.
: '''Gatlocke:''' After we kill Rex. We should work together and form a team call ourselves... Gatlocke and the kitty cats.
: '''Valve:''' Silence your mouth or the biker will silence it for you.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Oh, Valve. You can pretend to be angry, but deep down, you know you're a kitty cat.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' They know we're here.
: '''Gatlocke:''' You're quite feisty. Have you ever considered a career in the fast growing field of post apocalyptic gangs?
: '''Valve:''' She has spirit. Valve the biker will see that spirit crushed.
: '''Gatlocke:''' You're Gatlocke's favorite kitty cat. Hmm. Rrr.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Don't follow her. She's trying to lead us away from Rex. Rex is close-by.
: '''Valve:''' Rex's chamber... Five minutes to spare.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' More than enough time.
: '''Gatlocke:''' I could have sworn that we'd agreed to take Rex out together.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' I'm changing the terms of the deal if you have a problem with that, feel free to stand right where you are. I've waited a long time for this. Rex!
: '''Valve:''' Empty? Or a trick of the mind?
: '''Rex:''' Isn't that obvious? Then again, that tracking bug you stuck on me was obvious, too. And the fake countdown? Obvious. It only took me thirty minutes to upload my nanites. You wanted to run me ragged so you could get me. Instead, here you are all in one place. Gotcha!
: '''Valve:''' UGHH!
: '''Rex:''' UGHHHH! I still don't get why you enlisted Valve. I mean, he's really a third-string bad guy.
: '''Valve:''' Valve is the biker. A biker is dangerous.
: '''Rex:''' Hmm. Yeah. No.
: '''Valve:''' Rrrr!
: '''Rex:''' So unpredictable. Like a third-string bad guy.
: '''Valve:''' AAAAH!
: '''Gatlocke:''' I have a horrible sneaking suspicion that he's winning.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Then do something about it!
: '''Gatlocke:''' Don't have to yell. A kind word will get you much further.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Gatlocke:''' UGHHH! Oh! Oh! Oh ho ho! Ouch! My back! My front and my back! OHH! This is total, total agony!
: ''[Gatlocke gasps]''
: '''Gatlocke:''' ''[Calmly]'' I'm okay. Really. I'm fine.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' You're lucky. I'll give you that. But you're only delaying the inevitable. You can't beat us all!
: '''Rex:''' I never intended to. This offload facility? I reprogrammed it. My surplus nanites aren't being stored. They're powering the shield.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' It's a trap!
: '''Rex:''' Have fun keeping each other company!
: '''Bobo:''' What a day.
: '''Rex:''' You know, none of this would have happened if Providence hadn't released the convicts and turned out all those EVOs.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' They did that to keep you busy.
: '''Rex:''' Keep me busy from what?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' The Nanite Project. We just found out. While we dealt with the EVOs, Black Knight got her hands on another Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Rex:''' Then it's time.

===Sinister Secrets===
===Wounded Hearts===
===One Step Ahead===
===Breaking Point===
===Behind Closed Doors===

===Keeping Hope===
===Trust===

===Terror of the Black Knight===

===Endgame, Part One===
: '''Rex:''' It was going to happen sooner or later. We had most of the pieces, so it was only a matter of time before the Black Knight made her move. And of all the chances she had to attack, it had to be tonight... at this very moment... while I was in the shower. Huh? How many?
: '''Six:''' Should it matter?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Can't you do any better than that?
: '''Bobo:''' I thought you'd never ask.
: '''Rex:''' Rah! Yah!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' If they get to the Meta-Nanites, we still have options.
: '''Rex:''' Of the self-destruct kind? No, thanks, Doc. It's not going to end that way... hopefully.
: '''Black Knight:''' We'll dispense with the pleasantries. You know what we want.
: '''Rex:''' There is no way you're walking out of here with the nanites.
: '''Black Knight:''' You seem so certain.
: '''Rex:''' We've beaten you before. Every single time, in fact. So, this time is different... How? Okay, that's different. Ugh! You're an EVO?!
: '''Black Knight:''' Do you think you were the only one they experimented on back in the day? You were the guinea pig. Consider me the new-and-improved version.
: '''Rex:''' Okay. Before we go any further, I should probably explain a few things. It started when a bunch of rich guys decided they wanted to live forever, so they got the best scientists in the world to figure out how. The answer was nanites. These microscopic machines would cure disease, end hunger, and pretty much make the world a better place. My parents and older brother were on the team, and so was this guy. Look familiar? Van Kleiss. Then one day there was an accident. To save my life, my parents injected me with nanites. It worked. But there were a few crazy side effects, like the fact I could talk to machines and, later on, build some pretty cool things. That got the rich guys thinking-- How far could we take this? Turns out pretty far. These little machines could control the very fabric of the Universe, but they would need a Master Control Nanite to program all the others and tell them what to do. Energy, gravity, time/space, elemental, mechanical-- All the things that make the Universe run. Combined together, they would pretty much make you a God. And when my brother and parents found out the Consortium was about to put these nanites inside themselves, they sort of freaked out in a &quot;got to save the Earth&quot; kind of way. Something had to be done to stop it. Turns out that meant blowing the whole thing up, better known as &quot;The Nanite Event&quot;. That didn't end well for my parents. While everyone else ran away, my parents were trapped inside. Sill not sure how. There was some good news-- No more Master Control Nanites. And the bad news? Dangerous unprogrammed nanites got spread across the world, and nanites plus DNA equals EVO. My brother Caesar got caught in a time warp during his escape. Van Kleiss got blown to smithereens and became the world's biggest pain in the nanite. And me? I got amnesia and traveled the globe living the good life... At least, that's how I tell it. The only part I know of wasn't all that much to brag about. I did get some good friends and a few enemies out of the deal. Turns out that losing my memory was a regular thing for me. Last time I woke up and said, &quot;Who Am I?&quot; It was when this guy found me-- Agent Six. He worked for Providence, sort of a global police force created to clean up after the event. It was paid for mostly by the same group of goons that started the whole thing-- The Consortium. It was great for a while. I had my own personal doctor, a chimp sidekick, a cool best friend to hang with. I was a full-fledged hero. The world loved me, and my powers kept getting better and better. Van Kleiss was still a pain, but I managed to take care of him. A few times, actually. Then things started to get not so cool. My brother shows up from out of nowhere. I get thrown six months into the future to find White Knight kicked out of Providence and this lady in charge-- Black Knight. She's been the lapdog of the Consortium from day one, and now her bosses want to pick up where they left off. Most of the old team of scientists have been reunited, and together, they've restarted the nanite program. The Master Control Nanites were spread across the globe in the first explosion, and we've been racing against Providence to get them back. So far, we've been winning that fight, and that pretty much brings us to right now.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' The Black Pawns are robots?!
: '''Black Knight:''' Total obedience at the flip of a switch. Can you blame me?
: '''Black Pawn:''' What's so funny?
: '''Six:''' I hold back against people. You're not people.
: ''[Bobo Haha grunts]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Ugh!
: '''Feakins:''' Hey! Hey! Take it easy, would you? Oh!
: '''Rex:''' Fitzy?!
: '''Feakins:''' Heh? Sorry, guy. They found me. She's hard to say &quot;No&quot; to... and live.
: '''Black Knight:''' Well put, Mr. Feakins. And thanks to his unique ability, we can set aside our nanite enhancements and do this the old-fashioned way.
: '''Rex:''' Come on. That's not fair. I'm unarmed!
: '''Black Knight:''' Precisely.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Stop! Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad idea.
: '''Rex:''' Listen to the crazy guy.
: '''Black Knight:''' Why are you here, Van Kleiss?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I forgot. Oh, no, wait. I remember. He's got a Master Control Nanite swallowed up inside him. It's been hiding, the naughty thing.
: '''Rex:''' On second thought, don't listen to him. He's, uh-- He's crazy, remember?
: '''Black Knight:''' You're sure of this?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, yes, yes. Quite sure. Do you have any mints?
: '''Black Knight:''' I want Rex at the lab. Restrain and sedate him.
: '''Rex:''' How, hold on a minute.
: '''Feakins:''' Hey! What about me?
: '''Black Knight:''' I'm not taking any chances. He stays with Rex. Kill the others.
: '''Rex:''' Ugh! Ahh.
: '''Master-Control Nanite:''' Human.
: '''Rex:''' What are you telling me? What do you want?
: '''Master-Control Nanite:''' Complete. Complete. Complete. Complete. Complete.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, I get it. How?
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Caesar:''' Calm down, Rex. You're safe.
: '''Rex:''' Safe?! Black Knight and her robo-troopers just came knocking, and Van crazy says I have a Master Control Nanite inside me!
: '''Caesar:''' Fascinating, isn't it? All this time, it's been hiding undetected inside you. I wonder if this particular control unit is responsible for his unique nano-evolution.
: '''Rex:''' Are any of you even listening to me?
: '''Feakins:''' Boy, I am. It's like a movie but real! I just want to go start pressing buttons. Can I get another milkshake?
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' How exactly do you plan on getting it out of him?
: '''Black Knight:''' I have a suggestion. Tear it out.
: '''Rylander:''' It would kill him.
: '''Black Knight:''' That's none of my concern.
: '''Caesar:''' The nanite is tied to his DNA. Simply pulling it out of him would ruin the nanite.
: '''Rex:''' And me, too, remember?
: '''Caesar:''' The only way this will work is if we put him in the cyclotron with the other Metas. It should extract automatically during the reassembly.
: '''Black Knight:''' And if it doesn't?
: '''Caesar:''' Hmm. Good question.
: '''Rex:''' Here's another one-- Don't I get a say in this? Like, isn't this the exact thing that our parents died trying to stop?
: '''Black Knight:''' Take him to the hub and prepare for the transfer. The Consortium is here and extremely impatient. I want this finished within the hour.
: '''Feakins:''' Aah! Hey, what am I-- Sandpaper? Not so rough! ''[sputtering]'' Rough.
: '''Rex:''' Glad someone can see the humor in this.
: '''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, see that Rex is well taken care of.
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' I hope you know what you're doing, Salazar. This is a huge risk we're taking.
: '''Rylander:''' Listen to Peter. The thing we swore to stop at any cost, the thing that took your parents-- It could happen-- Right here, today.
: '''Caesar:''' It can't, and it won't. You'll have to trust me on this.
: '''Rylander:''' You can only say that so many times, Caesar.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' We've been waiting almost an hour. Not even refreshments?
: '''Black Knight:''' You can have your snack after we become Gods.
: '''Roswell:''' &quot;We&quot;?
: '''Black Knight:''' That's right-- &quot;We.&quot; None of this would be possible without my efforts.
: '''Roswell:''' And our money, sister.
: '''Black Knight:''' By all means, have your contempt. There's plenty of room buried next to the Russian if you'd like to keep him company. That's what I thought. Now, if you'll follow me--
: '''Bobo:''' &quot;Kill the others.&quot; Not gonna happen, lady. We're bulletproof. Ow! Hangnail.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Ugh! We know where they took him. Why are we here? We need to go get Rex.
: '''Six:''' I agree. We just don't have the resources, Rebecca. We'd need an army.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You've been known to make the impossible happen, Six. How hard could that be?
: '''Six:''' Six here. Copy that. We just got ourselves an army.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You see?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' That will be all.
: '''Feakins:''' But the lady said-- Good luck, Kid.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' These restraints were made for you. You're very special, you know.
: '''Rex:''' Lucky me.
: '''Caesar:''' Van Kleiss... leave us.
: '''Rex:''' I really hate you.
: '''Caesar:'''I know how this looks, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' But what? I just have to trust you? Is that what you were going to say? Just help me-- Please.
: '''Caesar:''' It may not seem like it, but I am.
: '''Rex:''' Caesar... I'm scared.
: '''Caesar:''' So am I, little brother. This will all be over in a few minutes.
: '''Rex:''' It's already over! When I get out of this, I never want to see you again!
: '''Rylander:''' Commencing countdown.
: '''Roswell:''' WHOO-HOO!
: '''Reddick:''' Payback time!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Caesar:''' This won't be entirely unpleasant. It should feel similar to when you offload surplus nanites.
: '''Rex:''' Stop! You can't do this! You can't merge!
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Something's wrong.
: '''Rylander:''' Of course something's wrong. The kid is fighting it.
: '''Caesar:''' This could be bad.
: '''Rylander:''' You have to tell him, Caesar.
: '''Caesar:''' Rex, you have to stop. Listen to me. The nanites are supposed to do-- Rex? Can you hear me?
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Actually, he can't. There's a short in the comm relay.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' This would be a wonderful day for a picnic.
: '''Rex:''' RA-A-A-A-A-A-H!
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' Ugh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Ugh!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' So much for that plan.
: ''[Rex laughs]''
: '''Rex:''' Oh, serves you right. All that and you come out of the oven looking like freaks. Nice job!
: '''Black Knight:''' It's not exactly what we were expecting, but it's a start.
: '''Reddick:''' This isn't what we agreed to.
: '''Roswell:''' Where's the rest of our power? This is all messed up!
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' How can this be possible?
: '''Rylander:''' The Meta-Nanites were dispersed between the five. This is quite a surprise.
: '''Caesar:''' We've got to get Rex out of there. Step aside, Van Kleiss.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' They still don't have what they want... and neither do you.
: '''Black Knight:''' You're angry. I can see that. If you want to take it out on anyone, it should be Rex.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' I think I can agree to that.
: '''Roswell:''' Count me in! This might actually be fun!
: '''Rex:''' Let's think about this for a second. Whoa!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' How 'bout that? Exactly one second. Whoa! Aah!
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' What a perfect way to learn to use our powers-- Tearing this brat apart.
: '''Rex:''' Only one problem with that, sparky. I've been using my powers a whole lot longer-- And I'm pretty good.
: '''Roswell:''' You got any ideas here, missy, or we gonna stand around and get it handed to us?
: '''Black Knight:''' The Meta-Nanites were designed to work together. So will we.
: '''Rex:''' What? Are you gonna join together to make a robo-mutant?
: '''Black Knight:''' That's exactly what we're going to do.
: '''Rex:''' I need to stop giving them ideas. Huh?
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Black Knight:''' No one the help you-- No family, no friends, nothing. It's a terrible way to go.
: '''White Knight:''' Captain Calan, target the base. All weapons, sire.
: '''Providence Agent:''' Fire control reports they're being jammed, sir.
: '''White Knight:''' Only one salvo. Black Knight must have prepared for this.
: ''[Rex groans softly]''
: '''Rex:''' Big giant robot. Black Knight.
: '''Six:''' We know.
: '''Rex:''' Have to... stay and stop them.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Another time, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' I-I--
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Holiday to White Knight. We have Rex.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' We're just gonna watch them go?!
: '''Black Knight:''' Let Providence have their weapon back. With our combined power, the world is ours.

===Endgame, Part Two===
:'''Black Knight:''' Science has given us a tremendous gift-- Nanites. We've seen what they can do-- The good and the bad. But they're true potential has been largely unseen. Until now. Our goals are varied. Fame... power... revenge... wealth... order. Yet, one thing unites us-- Greed. You're surprised I admit it? Well, don't be. You'll never get far in life without wanting it all. And for those who might consider standing in our way... We'll let our powers speak for themselves. The world is ours. And no one can stop us.
:''[Roswell laughs]''
:'''Roswell:''' This is more fun than my first rodeo. What else you got?
:'''Six:''' Any change?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' He's sleeping. The nanites in him are making repairs. That's a good thing. He's a tough kid, Six.
:'''Six:''' I know.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' See you next time. Judging by what you fed us for lunch, I'm guessing twenty minutes. Can't even go to the little scientists' room without them breathing down our necks. How long are we going to put up with this?
:'''Caesar:''' I know it's not easy working under these circumstances.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Do you? I don't hear you complaining, or have you even noticed that we're prisoniers?
:'''Rylander:''' Gentlemen, please. Can we focus on a more important problem? The Consortium's gain of power is a troubling outcome. Something should be done.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' If you're talking about stopping them, I'm listening.
:'''Black Knight:''' I want you all in the boardroom in three minutes.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' The world is being taken over by nanite-fueled ex-c.e.o. Psychos, and they still act like they're running a business.
:'''Roswell:''' You nerds gave us a raw deal. I want a do-over.
:'''Caesar''': A do-over?
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' What my colleague means to say is that our powers are remarkable to be sure, but we only have one seventh of what we were promised.
:'''Rylander:''' You're asking a lot.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' You're asking the impossible. You'd be lucky to survive the extraction.
:'''Caesar:''' This is true. You may be powerful, but you're not Rex.
:'''Black Knight:''' I share your disappointment, gentlemen. But are you willing to lose everything for this?
:'''Roswell:''' Go big or go home.
:'''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, what do you have to say?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Easy-peasy. I can do it. It's only a matter of correctly calibrating the bio-filters with the homing frequency of the nanites. By the way, have you seen my socks?
:'''Caesar:''' Van Kleiss--
:'''Black Knight:''' Has an assignment. The rest of you... Stay out of trouble.
:'''Rex:''' You started without me.
:'''Six:''' Glad to see you up and around. Something bothering you?
:'''Rex:''' Besides black knight taking over the world? I'm trying to find my friends. I know Providence took them.
:'''Six:''' We're working on that.
:'''Rex:''' And are we doing anything about the Consortium? What about... The robot? The one I can build. Don't play dumb, Six.
:'''Six:''' Come with me.
:'''Rex:''' That's me? No way! All this time, I could have been making myself into that thing? Ohh! Maybe not.
:'''Six:''' Evidence suggest that you've never been able to control it. It's a weapon of last defense. This was filmed on the day that I found you. It was also the day I made a promise that it would be the last time you ever built this machine.
:''[Rex scoffs]''
:'''Rex:''' Or what, you'd kill me? You plan on keeping that promise?
:'''Six:''' Rex, you have to know something. We believe this is the type of thing that ends in you losing your memory.
:'''Rex:''' Well, it happened to you, and you turned out just fine.
:'''Six:''' I only lost six years. Six years is all you have. You would lose everything. I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but you need to think about the consequences of some of your options.
:'''Noah:''' It feels weird hanging out when the world is under attack. I don't know if I should be fighting back or out in the wilderness setting up a survival compound.
:'''Rex:''' If you had the power to stop all this, but it meant losing everything, would you do it, Noah?
:'''Noah:''' I don't know. I'm just glad I don't have to make that kind of decision. I guess that's why you're the hero.
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Rex:''' I wish I could get some kind of sign. Anything. Hmm.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Red and yellow, red and yellow. One false move can kill a fellow.
:''[Van Kleiss laughs]''
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' He's got local control. We're locked out. I still don't even know how this is possible.
:'''Rylander:''' I've been looking at the data projections. As crazy as Van Kleiss is, his theory is sound.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Sorry to disturb your sleepy sleep. There might be a slight delay.
:'''Black Knight:''' Why?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' We have a visitor. Should I set out tea?
:'''Rex:''' Hey, in there! Come on out!
:'''Black Knight:''' Back for more? Happy to accommodate.
:'''Rex:''' I should warn you. It's going to get ugly.
:'''Black Knight:''' One would think you would have learned the last time. I can feel you resisting me. Stop.
:'''Roswell:''' Why is it you get to call all the shots?
:'''Black Knight:''' Because I'm the one who has the power to join us. Help me defeat Rex, and you can call all the shots you like.
:'''Rex:''' Hyah!
:''[Rex babbling]''
:''[Rex gasps]''
:'''Six:''' It's a weapon of last defense. It's happened.
:'''Noah:''' That's Rex?
:'''White Knight:''' I'm going to assume you're seeing what I'm seeing.
:'''Six:''' White--
:'''White Knight:''' Before you say anything, Six-- Whatever agreement we may have had regarding this situation no longer applies. Am I clear?
:'''Six:''' Understood.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': What was that all about?
:'''Six:''' A second chance.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six, we have to do something.
:'''Six:''' I've seen it before. We're too late.
:''[Rex coughing]''
:'''Rex:''' Donde esta mi zapato?
:'''Noah:''' Rex! Hold on!
:'''Rex:''' What? What happened?
:'''Bobo:''' You blew up, kid.
:'''Six:''' Do you know who we are?
:'''Rex:''' I... I do! Oh-ho! I remember! Ow! Ow! I wish I could forget this pain in my... The Consortium!
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' This is utter nonsense. I refuse to be led around like a show dog.
:'''Reddick:''' You can always go back outside and take it up with Providence.
:'''Black Knight:''' Guard the door. Nothing gets by you.
:'''Six:''' They're robots.
:'''Rex:''' Oh! Right! That part I forgot.
:'''Bobo:''' Next time, leave some for the rest of us, huh?
:'''Rylander:''' I'll stay here and guard the equipment.
:''[Rylander laughs]''
:'''Caesar:''' Little brother, they've had this place completely locked down. I've been trying to reach you.
:'''Bobo:''' What he said.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Yeah, you deserved that.
:'''Rex:''' Open it.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' We can't. Still completely locked out of the system. Besides, you can't interrupt once the cycle has started.
:'''Rex:''' Well, then, un-start it!
:'''Black Knight:''' You cleaned up for the occasion. How thoughtful of you.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, this isn't for you. You didn't actually believe that I'd let the five of you have all this power.
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' I thought you were working for us?
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Rex:''' You see that? I knew it! He's not crazy! Okay... oh! He's crazy, but just his usual crazy.
:'''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, I am not amused.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I don't imagine you would be. This was always my intention, even in the very beginning. It's a pity your parents caught me trying to activate the sequence for myself. And, of course, there's the &quot;broken&quot; hatch. The world would be a much better place if they had just left well enough alone.
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' Black Knight, do something.
:'''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, you have made a huge mistake.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, then, let the fun begin.
:''[Black Knight groans]''
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' You can't overload that relay from a subdirectory. You have to get a root. It's impossible from here.
:'''Caesar:''' You're a very negative person, Peter Meechum.
:''[Dr. Meechum groans]''
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' I'll try from the main terminal in the lab.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Caesar:''' Rex, wait! That's not necessary.
:'''Rex:''' I'm not waiting around, hermano.
:'''Caesar:''' No. That's not what I mean.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Yes. I can see it.
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Huh? No.
:''[Van Kleiss groans]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's incredible something so small could have so much [[w:Omnipotence|power]]. That thing could rip apart the very fabric of the universe.
:'''Rex:''' It's still a nanite. I'm gonna talk to it.
:'''Caesar:''' No. It's okay.
:''[The fully complete Meta Nanite comes to Rex, as if it were waiting for him, whose eyes and body glow with a pale blue cosmic aura.]''
:'''Caesar:''' Rex, listen to me. The Meta-Nanite-- It could never work in anyone but you. Now in its pure state. Mom and dad, we programmed them that way from the very beginning. All of this... It's meant for you.
:'''Six:''' What are you saying?
:'''Caesar:''' Right now, Rex is [[Omnipotence|the most powerful being in the universe]].
:'''Bobo:''' You hear that, Kid? Don't let it get to your head.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, can you hear me?
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, doc. This is pretty trippy. Not exactly sure what I'm supposed to do now.
:'''Black Knight:''' You're a [[God]], Rex. You can do anything you want.
:'''Six:''' You know what to do.
:'''Rex:''' You're right, Six. So are the rest of you. I can do anything I want. Maybe it's time for a revolution. Isn't that what you five wanted? A revolution? Well, welcome to it.
:'''Noah:''' Is he gonna be like this from now on?
:'''Rylander:''' Uh... People. He's inside the nanite reactor.
:'''Dr. Holiday and Caesar:''' Inside?
:'''Rex:''' Okay, little guys. I need you to do something for me.
:'''Black Knight:''' Follow me, quickly.
:'''Reddick:''' I'm through following you. We trusted you everything, and look what we got.
:'''Black Knight:''' We may still be able to retain some of our abilities, but only if you follow me.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Are you seeing this?
:'''Rylander:''' Tehnically, I don't have eyes, but yes.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Reports are coming in. EVO's all over the world are spontaneously curing.
:'''Six:''' Not spontaneous.
:'''Caesar:''' He must have programmed all the nanites in the reactor to initiate a worldwide cure event.
:'''Black Knight:''' What is your next directive?
:'''Rex:''' I don't want anyone using you again. Ever. And that includes me. Deactivate.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex:''' I think it's over.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I think you're right.
:'''Caesar:''' I wanted to tell you, brother. So much was at stake.
:'''Rex:''' We're good. And we'll always be brothers.
:'''Diane Ferrah:''' Across the world, not an EVO to be found. After more than six years, it appears we've awoken from the nightmare.
:'''White Knight:''' The EVOs may be gone, but we still have nanites.
:'''Rex:''' Leave it to you to spoil  all the fun, White Knight.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' There are some people here to see you, Rex.
:'''Rex:''' Tuck? Cricket? Skwydd?
:'''Skwydd:''' Eh, I guess I should start going by Walter again.
:''[Rex runs to Circe and the two lovers share a close hug, happy to be together at last]''
:'''Rex:''' Uh... Are you...?
:'''Circe:''' I'm okay. Normal, but okay. I think you may have put yourself out of a job.
:'''Skywdd:''' Yeah. What are you gonna do? Go to school?
:'''Rylander:''' It was nice having the team back together. You know, we should find a new project.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' You kidding? I'd rather have root canal with a rake. Worst experience of my life.
:'''Caesar:''' Do you want to hear about some of my new ideas or not?
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' I'm listening.
:'''Rex:''' Finally.
:'''Six:''' Need anything?
:'''Rex:''' Nope. I'm good. There's always going to be something, isn't there?
:'''Six:''' Yes, there is.

==Characters==
===Main===
*Rex Salazar (Daryl Sabara)
*Six
*White Knight
*Bobo Haha
===Supporting===
*Circe (Tara Sands)
*Tuck (Dante Bosco) 
*Skwydd
*Cricket
*Beverley Holiday 
*Caesar Salazar
*Five
*Tres
*IV

===Villains===
*Van Kleiss
*The Pack
*Gatlocke
*Hunter Cain
*Quarry
*Black Knight
*The Consortium
===Couples===
*Dr. Rebecca Holiday &amp; Six
*Rex &amp; Circe
*Noah Nixon &amp; Claire Bowman
==Elements==
===Rex's Machines &quot;Builds&quot;===
*Big Fat Sword
*Buzz Saw
*Punk Busters
*Boogie Pack
*Cannon
*Smack Hands

===Rex's Other Abilities===
*Technopathy
*Data Manipulation
*Technological Manipulation 
*E.V.O. Curing
*Breach Detection
*Electronic Disruption

===Omega Nanite-Powered Builds===
*Blast Caster
*Funchucks
*Bad Axes
*Block Party
*Sky Slider
*Water Jet

==External Links==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1636691/ Generator Rex] at [[Internet Movie Database]]
* [http://generatorrexpedia.wikia.com/wiki/Generator_Rex Generator Rex] at Wikia

{{Authority control}}
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Teen superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Cartoon Network original series]]
[[Category:Television series by Cartoon Network Studios]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Teen animated TV shows]]</text>
      <sha1>pit4srn2rgt9acabo6suxkveujk80qo</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944132</id>
      <parentid>3944129</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T07:55:14Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-17291-92</username>
        <id>3303475</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Mind Games */</comment>
      <origin>3944132</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="350336" sha1="g564tpmtkwksd839x384a8bli0gr65z" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
This is a list of quotes from the popular, yet cancelled animated television series ''[[w:Generator Rex|Generator Rex]]''. A video game and several chapter books were produced. 

The series supposedly &quot;[[w: cliffhanger|concluded]]&quot; with its third season, despite leaving many questions unanswered and crucial elements unresolved ''before'' the two-part Season 3 finale, ''Endgame''.
==Season One (2010-2011)==
===The Day That Everything Changed===
:'''Bobo''': Wheels or wings?
:'''Rex''': Wheels, I wanna tear something up.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Agent Six''': He just needs more training control of those emotions.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': He's a teenager that's like asking you to get a different color suit!
===String Theory===
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, we had a situation at the safe house. Meecham is cured. It was Rex.
:(''The camera zooms in on Van Kleiss whose expressive vindictive indeed'')
===Beyond the Sea===
:''Note'': Rex meets his [[w:love interest|love interest]] and sweetheart, Circe.
:────────────────────
:'''Rex''': Don't know what you're 24/7 is, but mine is 10% OH YEAH! And 90% uhh.
:────────────────────
:'''Rex:''' Outta the way!
:'''Circe:''' Uh!
:(''Rex and Circe both crash to the ground'')
:'''Rex:''' Are you okay? Did you see that awesome save?
: '''Circe:''' Sorry, I was busy trying not to get tackled by some nitwit.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah? How that work out for you? And who still uses the word &quot;nitwit&quot;? I'm Rex.
: '''Circe:''' I'm leaving.
: '''Rex:''' Hey, wait!
: '''Noah:''' Rex, you're up.
: ────────────────────
: '''Six:''' What about the new tracker?
: '''Doctor Holdiay:''' His nanites unbuilt it, just like all the other ones we tried sneaking in him. We're still receiving his biometric readings though. It's strange, they're all over the place. It's almost like his emotions are...shorting out.
: '''Six:''' He took an unusual interest in Calan's briefing about equatorial upticks.
: '''Doctor Holiday:''' And that's important because?
: '''Six:''' Rex has been acting stir-crazy and I heard the monkey mention something about spring break. ''[to workers]'' Scan all resort areas for his bio signature.
: ────────────────────
: '''Noah:''' Oh, you have got it all messed up. Falling for some girl? We're supposed to get them to dig us. Not the other way around.
: '''Rex:''' I don't know. There was something different about her. She's...right there. Later.
: ────────────────────
: '''Rex:''' Hey, wait up!
: '''Circe:''' Why are you following me?!
: '''Rex:''' Uh, I don't know exactly.
: '''Circe:''' Do you think I'm playing?!
: '''Rex:''' Well, if you are I'm down for another game. I thought maybe we could hang out. It is spring break, you know. Fun.
: '''Circe:''' I'm with my family. We're not really for fun.
: '''Rex:''' What! Who comes to the beach and doesn't have fun?
: (''Circe raises her hand'')
: '''Rex:''' Don't you think that's a little messed up?
: '''Circe:''' Maybe a little.
: '''Rex:''' So?
: '''Circe:''' I'm Circe.
: ────────────────────
: '''Rex:''' Hold on! 
: '''Circe:''' Woooo!
: '''Rex:''' Definitely better than my suggestion.
: '''Circe:''' Hunting for seashells is fun.
: (''both laugh'')
: '''Beach Guy:''' You two skid-marts up for a race to the beach?
: '''Circe:''' Well, if you drive as badly as for play volleyball, we could probably walk there and win. You're on, meathead.
: (''guy drives off in anger)''
: '''Rex:''' So you were watching me play.
: '''Circe:''' Maybe a little.
: '''Rex:''' sure you wanna do this?
: '''Circe:''' Thrill me.
: '''Beach Guy:''' Hahahaha! Wooo!
: '''Circe:''' C'mom Rex, faster!
: ────────────────────
: '''Biowulf:''' Explain.
: '''Circe:''' Relax. I was covering. Every day when I'm at the end of that jet i when I could hanging out with the other kids, it's starting to look suspicious.
: '''Biowulf:''' You're not here for vacation, girl! You're here to prove yourself to Van Kleiss. And I'm starting to doubt you can.
: '''Circe:''' I told you. It's a done deal.
: (''The shadow of her tubular sonic mouth is seen'')
: ────────────────────
: '''Noah:''' So what's on today's spring break agenda? Jet skiing, hiking?
: '''Bobo:''' Eating our weight in crab legs?
: '''Rex:''' I figured we'd just chill. Let's just see who...uhh I mean what shows up.
: ''(siren-like call)''
: '''Rex:''' Did you hear that?
: '''Noah:''' Sorry, enchiladas.
: '''Rex:''' No, that! You seriously didn't hear that?
: ────────────────────
: '''Rex:''' Circe?
: '''Circe:''' You really shouldn't be here right now.
: '''Rex:''' I heard something coming from over here.
: '''Circe:''' I'm serious, Rex. It's not safe.
: '''Rex:''' What you think some sort of roguewave is gonna knock off and- Oh.
: '''Circe:''' There you are. Get out of here, Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Circe!! What are you doing!?
: '''Circe:''' Me!? What are you doing!?
: '''Rex:''' Right now, my job. Okay! Don't freak out.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' You're an E.V.O.?
: '''Rex:''' You catch on fast.
: '''Circe:''' Takes one to know one. 
: (''Shows Rex her fleshly sonic mouth'')
: '''Rex:''' No way.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' Cover your ears!
: '''Rex:''' What!?
: '''Circe:''' Your ears! Cover them!
: (''Projects her tubular, fleshy mouth and emits strong hypersonic bursts'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' Did I hurt you?
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. It was awesome. You were the one making that sound.
: '''Circe:''' I'm glad you're OK, but I'm in serious trouble. I have to go deal with it.
: '''Rex:''' Why are in trouble? Is it because of that E.V.O.? Let me help you.
: '''Circe''': No. I have to do this by myself.
:(''Rex takes a hold of her hand'')
: '''Rex:''' Meet me later.
: '''Circe:''' Rex... (''Looks away sadly'')
: '''Rex:''' I've never met anyone like you...like me. It'd be nice to talk to an E.V.O. who's not, you know, trying to kill me. Nine O'clock? 
: '''Circe:''' I'll try.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' I just wanted to have some fun, see if I could jog my memory, feel...normal.
:'''Six:''' Your &quot;normal&quot; is different, Rex.
:(''Rex hears Circe's irresistibly hypnotic melody'')
:'''Rex:''' It's her, Six. Just let me deal with this, OK? Alone.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' You're only here because you heard my [[w:siren |call]]. That's what I do. I'm like a big E.V.O. magnet.
: '''Rex:''' I came because I thought we had a connection. And what are you calling? Nothing's out there but big, ugly sea monsters.
: '''Circe:''' It's them! You have to go! Rex, please! I don't want them to see you with me!
: '''Rex:''' Who? Your parents?
: '''Circe:''' They're not my parents. They're...
: '''Rex:''' The Pack!? Van Kleiss' guys!? Your with ''them''!?
: '''Circe:''' Yeah. I'm with them. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Biowulf:''' We're running out patience with you, Circe! You have one last chance! Summon the E.V.O.! Finish the job!!
: '''Circe:''' Don't you think I've been trying? Every day for the last week? Sometimes these things take time.
: '''Rex:''' It is just me or do you use your powers to kill all the guys you meet? You're letting her go, now!
: '''Biowulf (laughs)''': So ''this'' is who you been wasting your time with. She's on her own free will, Rex.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Circe?
: '''Circe:''' You have to leave me alone, Rex!! ''Please!''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Six:''' Go after her. I mean it.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' The Pack!? Are you serious!?
: '''Circe:''' To the rest of the world I'm a freak! Not to them!
: '''Rex:''' You're not a freak to me! What about that?
: '''Circe:''' What about it!? Spring break is fun, but we can't live there, Rex. The real world...
: '''Rex:''' In the real world, I work for Providence. You could come with me. Could you cut out that noise for a second!?
: '''Circe:''' No, I can't! I'm running out of time! Most people on this planet what E.V.O.s gone, ''including'' Providence! With Van Kleiss, I have a purpose; a home. You don't what that means to me.
: '''Rex:''' Actually, I think I might.
: '''Circe:''' So what are going to do?
: '''Rex:''' How about fight that big, ugly sea monster again?
: '''Circe:''' Finally! It's what I came here to do.
: '''Rex:''' You've been calling that thing, haven't you?
: '''Circe:''' It's my initiation into the Pack. I was brought here to capture it.
: '''Rex:''' By yourself!? The two of us could barely take it on! There's a resort here; innocent people! Send it back!
: '''Circe:''' That's not an option, Rex. Van Kleiss was very specific.
: '''Rex:''' Then I'm helping you.
: '''Circe:''' That's not an option either!! 
: (''Blasts him with her hypersonic waves'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' If I do this myself, I'll have a life! If I don't, Van Kleiss won't be happy. And you've seen what he does when he's not happy.
: '''Rex:''' If I don't help you, he won't even get the chance!
: '''Circe:''' Give me some credit, Rex! I'm not as helpless as you think!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I don't care whose side your on, Circe. I don't want to see you die today. Can we at least agree on that?
: '''Circe:''' You have no idea what I'm in for, Rex. But you're right. I can't do this by myself.
: '''Rex:''' You're not as helpless as you think.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe''' (''relieved'')''':''' Rex, you stopped it.
: '''Rex:''' We make a good team, huh?
: '''Circe:''' Yeah, we sure do. 
: (''She and Rex lean in closer for a passionate kiss, but are interrupted by Biowulf'')
: '''Biowulf:''' This trial was for you alone. Van Kleiss will not be pleased.
: '''Rex:''' Forget them, Circe. Come with me. Providence could use you.
: '''Circe:''' That's just not my life, Rex. I'm sorry. I did have fun.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Van Kleiss:''' We had high hopes for your abilities, Circe. Failure leaves its mark on yet another pretty face.
: '''Circe:''' I'm not afraid.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Of course not. You're a survivor, like all of us. I understand you made a friend during your trial. I'm pleased. Rex is very important to me, Circe, which makes you very important to me as well. Welcome to the Pack.
: (''Circe looks slightly worried, which clearly indicates that she does have real feelings for Rex'')

===Lockdown===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Holiday:''' Rex, stop!!
:'''Rex:''' Give me one good reason!
:'''Holiday:''' Because, Rex...that's my sister.
:'''Rex:''' Can I...help?
:'''Holiday:''' She's an incurable.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Six:''' Restrain it. Carefully.
:'''Holiday:''' Thank you.

===The Architect===
:'''Six''': Still no sign of the kid?
:'''Holiday''': Not since we lost his biometric readings five days ago.
:'''Six''': Was Noah any help?
:'''Holiday''': Says he doesn't know where he is either. What is it going to take for Providence to realize that he needs a home, not just a room and a job? We've been pushing him away.
:'''Rex''': I build machines and cure EVOs-- the only one in the world who can. Just one cure for that kind of pressure-- road trip. But that doesn't mean &quot;vacation&quot;.
:'''Build worker''': Whoa!
:'''Maxwell''': What in the world is that?!
:'''Build worker:''' Oh, no!
:''[Both screaming]''
:'''Jacob''': Get away from that cable! Unh!
:''[Kate gasps]''
:'''Maxwell''': Hey!
:'''Jacob''': Agh!
:'''Kate''': Jacob!
:'''Rex''': Nope. A hero's work is never done. You okay?
:'''Jacob''': What... are you?
:'''Rex''': Here to help.
:'''Jacob''': We've got to get that cable back underground. We've been compromised.
:'''Kate''': But, Jacob, the EVOs--
:'''Jacob''': We don't have a choice. Everything we've worked for That boy is here for a reason.
:'''Rex''': Hey! Pay attention!
:'''Providence Agent''':  We have a hit in sector 15.
:'''Six''': Anyone in the area?
:'''Providence Agent''': I show one patrol in the vicinity. Signaling to intercept. Roger that. We're on our way.
:'''Rex''': Agh! You want a ride? Vamanos!
:'''Jacob''': You can control your nanites?
:'''Rex''': People usually start with &quot;thanks,&quot; but yeah.
:'''Jacob''': You see? This is exactly what the Architect can help us achieve... harmony with the nanites. This boy... sorry... young man Is a miracle.
:'''Rex''': I'm not a miracle. I'm just Rex.
:'''Jacob''': Well, Rex, you're a blessing to us for what you did here and for showing us that all our work isn't in vain.
:'''Rex''': Like imaginary work?
:'''Jacob''': Follow us.
:'''Providence Agent''': Confirming coordinates. We've lost the EVO signal. Did you take it out? Negative. There's nothing here. Must be another anomalous reading. You can return to post.
:'''Rex''': This is awesome! A hidden village. And nobody knows you're out here? Not even Providence?
:'''Jacob''': Especially not Providence.
:'''Rex''': Really? really. Pshh! Looks like you get pretty good cellphone reception.
:'''Jacob''': That tower is gonna change the world, Rex. I'm sure you have a lot of questions, but I have one for You. Are you hungry?
:'''Rex''': Mmm! Mmm!
:'''Caleb''': My dad said you fought all those EVOs all by yourself. Were you scared? Didn't your dad tell you to stay away from EVOs?
:'''Kate''': Caleb, let him eat. We don't get many visitors.
:'''Rex''': Mmm! Mmm! What is this?
:'''Caleb''': Didn't your mom ever make you meatloaf and mashed potatoes?
:'''Rex''': I don't -- I don't know.
:'''Kate''': It took me a month and a half to program in the perfect lump-to-mash ratio of the potatoes-- 7.2%!
:'''Jacob''': We ate potatoes until they were coming out of our ears.
:'''Rex''': I don't see any potatoes in there.
:'''Caleb''': They didn't really come out of our ears.
:'''Rex''': I could eat these every day.
:'''Rex''': Mmm!
:'''Caleb''': We have them every friday.
:'''Rex''': Then I might just have to stick around until next friday.
:'''Kate''': Help yourself to seconds.
:'''Jacob''': Or thirds.
:'''Rex''': Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!
:'''Bobo''': Hmm?
:'''Six''': You might think you're doing Rex a favor by covering for him.
:'''Bobo''': Get lost. I don't know what you're talkin' about.
:'''Six''': Rex is angry with us. He has every right to be. But that means nothing to White Knight. And he doesn't have the patience we do.
:'''Bobo''': Nice try. White won't lay a finger on him. He's too important.
:'''Six''': You, however, are somewhat expendable.
:'''Bobo''': All right, all right. You made your point.
:'''Rex''': I've never seen tech like this... not even at Providence.
:'''Jacob''': The Architect has some pretty big ideas. We just make them happen. He'd be very interested to meet you, Rex.
:'''Rex''': So what exactly are You doing way out here?
:'''Jacob''': Engineers like us weren't very popular after the nanite event. When we met the Architect, he offered us the opportunity to make up for that... to do amazing things. Someday, we'll be able to share This with the world. And then there's this. The Architect has actually discovered a way to communicate with the nanites.
:'''Rex''': Are you serious?
:'''Jacob''': The possibilities... We could finally live in harmony... maybe even have them help us.
:'''Rex''': Then why hide it? The rest of the world would want to know about this stuff.
:'''Jacob''': The Architect is something of a perfectionist. Says the world will know as soon as it comes online.
:'''Maxwell''': Stinkin' module!
:'''Jacob''': Is there a problem, Maxwell?
:'''Maxwell''': No matter what I try, I just can't get the interlock servo to engage.
:'''Rex''': There.
:'''Jacob''': That could have taken us weeks to figure out, and you did it in seconds.
:'''Rex''': Eh, no biggie.
:'''Jacob''': You really are amazing, Rex. We're so happy to have you with us.
:'''The Architect''': Jacob.
:'''Jacob''': I was just talking to Rex about you. The Architect.
:'''Rex''': How's it going?
:'''The Architect''': The power-linkage team is falling behind. We cannot keep having these delays.
:'''Jacob''': I'll check in with them.
:'''Rex''': Wow. Friendly.
:'''Jacob''': I like to think he's smiling on the inside.
:'''Rex''': Yeah. I know a guy like that.
:'''The Architect''': The visitor could be a problem. Do you wish to have him removed?
:'''Zag-RS''': His abilities could advance our progress considerably. And in a matter of days all humans will be gone, including this one: Rex.
:'''Six''': I'm at the location the monkey gave me.
:'''Holiday''': Well? Is Rex there?
:'''Six''': Apparently not. Tell the monkey I want to see him when I get back. Six out.
:'''Rex''': That should do it.
:'''Maxwell''': Hey, Rex, can you look at this?
:'''Rex''': Sure. Let me guess... they all need my help, too.
:'''Jacob''': You're quite the popular guy.
:'''Rex''': Amazing what a little gratitude will get you. At Providence, they'd just be yelling at me. I mean, I never felt like I really belonged there. Here, it's way different.
:'''Jacob''': I know the feeling. The Architect has made all this possible for us. We have a community... a family... thanks to him. The work we do is in part to pay that back.
:'''The Architect''': Primary systems are now complete.
:'''Zag-RS''': Prepare to take us online.
:'''Bobo''': Have a nice trip? Let's get one thing straight, pal. I would never rat out my... Ooh. He's going west.
:'''White Knight''': Why is Rex doing this? Doesn't he have a sense of duty?
:'''Holiday''': Actually, if you look, he's still doing his job. Here's every false alarm since Rex left... not false alarms, But Rex taking care of EVOs along the way.
:'''White Knight''': Why?
:'''Holiday''': I don't know. To prove he doesn't need us?
:'''Six''': Get the coordinates of the last false alarm and transmit them to my jump jet.
:'''Holiday''': Six, if we force him to come back, he'll just run away again. He has to want to be here. It needs to be his decision.
:'''Jacob''': It's all coming together, Thanks to you, Rex.
:'''Rex''': It's really cool to use my powers to actually build something, instead of just pounding EVOs. Oh, check it out. Even the boss is pitching in.
:'''Both''': Huh?
:'''Rex''': And that's getting strange looks because--
:'''Jacob''': Because in all these years, we've never seen him lift a finger.
:'''Rex''': Taking some initiative... I like that. So, this whole &quot;talking to nanites&quot; thing... how does that work, exactly? I mean, what are you gonna say to them?
:'''The Architect''': It doesn't concern you.
:'''Rex''': Uh, considering I'm filled with them, it kind of does. How do we know it's not gonna make things even worse?
:'''The Architect''': I do not answer to you, child!
:'''Jacob''': Rex? Forgive him. He's still not used to the way things work around here.
:'''The Architect''': Complete your duties!
:'''Rex''': Why do you let him walk all over you like that? Don't you want answers?
:'''Jacob''': What we want is a home. Without him, we have nothing... Nothing. We can't just run away from our problems, Rex. Most people can't. Look, this isn't perfect but it's all we've got. Rex, where are you going?
:'''Rex''': He never answered my question.
:'''Jacob''': That place is off-limits. The Architect has made it very clear to us that we can never go in there. We get this life for that promise. Rex, don't do it!
:'''Rex''': Agh!
:'''Jacob''': Rex, please!
:'''Rex''': I'm sorry, jacob. I have to know.
:'''The Architect''': Rex. The core is off-limits. You would be we to leave at once.
:'''Rex''': Not until I get some answers. What is that?
:'''The Architect''': No more questions.
:'''Rex''': So, it's gonna be like that? Okay, I'll play. Unh! What are you hiding, huh? What does this do? Yah! Yah! Huh? You're a machine? Have you seen what I can do to machines? Agh!
:'''Zag-RS''': As you can see, the current range of my signal is rather limited.
:'''Rex''': You're the computer.
:'''Zag-RS''': My human designation is &quot;Zag-RS&quot;. The device you refer to as &quot;The Architect&quot; is my autonomous counterpart.
:'''Rex''': What did you just do to me?
:'''Zag-RS''': I instructed your nanites to protect me.
:'''Rex''': &quot;Instructed&quot;? So you really can talk to them.
:'''Zag-RS''': Insidious devices, the nanites. My own potential for greatness has been compromised because of them. They must be eliminated. When the transmitter is integrated into the broadcast array you helped us complete, they will blow themselves up.
:'''Rex''': That's what this is for. It's like a big remote control. Every living thing on the planet has nanites in them. It'd kill everything!
:'''Zag-RS''': That is of no importance to me... only ensuring my continued survival.
:'''Rex''': Well, what about ours? This is all coming down!
:'''Zag-RS''': I'm afraid you're too late.
:'''Rex''': Aah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
:'''Jacob''': Rex, what have you done?
:'''Rex''': You don't understand! The Architect... it's a robot... And a big honkin' computer &quot;brain&quot; is pulling his strings.
:'''Jacob''': This can't be!
:'''Rex''': Jacob, you've got to believe me. Just go inside and look. What's left of it is on the floor.
:'''Jacob''': I can't go in there. And I don't have to.
:'''The Architect''': Rex.
:'''Rex''': You're making a big mistake!
:'''Maxwell''': You entered his sanctum! This is unforgivable!
:'''Rex''': I'm trying to tell you... this isn't what it seems. What you're protecting is a robot, and that thing we've been building is a transmitter. It's gonna send out a kill code to blow up every single nanite on Earth.
:'''Maxwell''': He's lying!
:'''Jacob''': What would be the point in that, Rex? Every living thing is infected with nanites. It would be catastrophic.
:'''Rex''': Right in the middle of that pyramid is a computer, and it doesn't care about you or Kate or Caleb. The better future that you've all been working towards... That's the lie. Think about it. Isn't it strange that you've never been inside that place, that The Architect has never given you a straight answer about anything?
:'''Jacob''': All this work it just doesn't make any sense.
:'''Rex''': You have two choices... Go in there and prove me wrong or kick me out right now. I'll have Providence here in minutes.
:'''Maxwell''': He's bluffing.
:'''Rex''': To save every living thing on earth? Try me.
:'''Maxwell''': Jacob, you can't! What about our promise? Where will we go?
:'''Jacob''': All this time, we've been living in fear, Max. It's time for that to end.
:'''The Architect''': You needn't bother. Construction is complete. Your services are no longer required.
:'''Rex''': Now do you believe me?
:'''The Architect''': Zag-RS thanks you for your hard work. In gratitude, my master has delayed transmission to allow you to say farewell.
:'''Jacob''': Farewell, huh? I'll start with you. Can you shut that thing down?
:'''Rex''': I don't know. Even without the antenna, it can mess with my nanites. I can't get too close to the computer.
:'''Jacob''': Maybe I can. Let's go!
:'''Rex''': The brain is right over there.
:'''The Architect''': Rex.
:'''Jacob''': It's still arging. The A.I. must have retreated behind a firewall. Rex, I have to go cut the power.
:'''Holiday''': Six, are you at The location?
:'''Six''': Just arrived.
:'''Holiday''': I'm picking up a massive power surge in your area.
:'''Six''': I'm not seeing anything.
:'''Jacob''': Agh!
:'''Rex''': Agh!
:'''Six''': Six to holiday. Correction... I'm seeing something.
:'''Jacob''': It's still on. Must have charged the capacitors. Figure out a way to short it out... fast!
:'''Rex''': Unhhh!
:'''Jacob''': You need to find the primary transmitter module. That will kill the broadcast.
:'''Rex''': I have no idea what that is.
:'''Jacob''': Max, we need to locate the primary module.
:'''Maxwell''': Panel 5, just off the relay bus.
:'''Jacob''': Top of the tower. You can't miss it.
:'''Rex''': Agh! Unh! Why do you have to kill everyone? Can't you just leave us alone?
:'''Zag-RS''': Alone is exactly what I want, Rex.
:'''Rex''': That kind of alone it stinks.
:'''Zag-RS''': N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o.
:'''Jacob''': It's gone. Must have uploaded to another location. But without anyone to do it's bidding, it's just a program.
:'''Rex''': What will you do now?
:'''Jacob''': We'll rebuild. The Architect may have been a lie, but what we believe in is true. We don't need him to have a community or a better future. You're welcome to stay. We sure could use someone with your abilities.
:'''White Knight''': Well?
:'''Six''': He's not here. Bobo's been worried sick.
:'''Rex''': rex: Oh, really?
:'''Six''': Ratted you out for a pizza.
:'''Rex''': Huh. Figures. What about you? Here to drag me back to Providence?
:'''Six''': Not this time. Seems like a nice place.
:'''Rex''': Yeah. It is. But it's not home. If I'm going back, there are gonna have to be some changes. First, no more curfew.
:'''Six''': No.
:'''Rex''': Second, I want to decide On my missions.
:'''Six''': No.
:'''Rex''': Okay, but there's one change that absolutely has to be made, or I'm through. Meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Mmm! Mmm! Isn't this great?
:'''Bobo''': Mmm.
:'''Six''': It's a little dry.
:'''Rex''': Mmm. Mm the lump mash ratio is a bit off.
:'''Bobo''': You know what? Maybe I'll run away, too... Go somewhere where my cooking is appreciated!
:'''Six''': We have to do this every friday?
:'''Rex''': Mmm.

===Frostbite===
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, I'm picking up a problem. You need to return to base immediately.
:'''Rex''': I miss you, too, doc. But I'm kinda busy dealing with a problem of my own. Whoa! Whoa! Aah! Okay. Ow. Big mistake, tweety. Can that bird brain of yours comprende I'm trying to help you?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, your own nanite count is off the charts. If you take on any more nanites, We're looking at an overload.
:'''Rex''': Come on, doc. It's just a big birdie.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': You're already over capacity. This is critical! Rex!
:'''Six''': Rex, you need to listen to the doctor.
:'''Rex''': Huh?
:'''Six''': This mission is revised. I need you back at headquarters now.
:'''Rex''': Do you really want a supersize pigeon flying loose all over lower Manhattan? You need me, and I can handle it.
:'''Six''': Not your call.
:'''Rex''': Unless I make it my call.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': (as everyone is fighting) Stop! Need I point out that this isn't the best place for a fight. Anything happens to that storage tank and you'll know why providence made this place so remote. Now let's just talk this out calmly, rationally.
:'''Biowulf''': Whatever happens here, Weaver. It's nothing compared to what Van Kleiss would have done to you.
:'''Rex''': What do you say guy? Common enemy? Little help?
:'''Biowulf''': Good luck. (Biowulf and Skalamander run off)
:'''Rex''': Right. What was I thinking?
:'''Agent Six''': Rex. You need to listen to the doctor.
:'''Rex''': Huh?
:'''Agent Six''': This mission is revised. I need you back at Headquarters. Now!
:'''Rex''': Do you really want a super-sized pigeon flying loose over lower Manhattan. You need me and I handle it.
:'''Agent Six''': Not your call.
:'''Rex''': (as he's flying over the Pack in an Arctic storm) Like you're really going to find me when you can't see 2 feet in front of your face... Huh? (Flies into some of Skalamander's shards and crashes) Guess that visibility thing works both ways.
:'''Rex''': (To Weaver) So, thanks to you, all this time I've been supplying nanites to Van Kleiss!
:'''Rex''': Can't you believe you let these scags get the drop on you.
:'''Agent Six''': They tried. It didn't turn out so well. Just haven't found a way to fight xenoflourine gas... yet.
:'''Rex''': What do you say guy? Common enemy? Little help?
:'''Biowulf''': Good luck.(Biowulf and Skalamander run off)
:'''Rex''': Right. What was I thinking?
:'''Agent Six''': You can't possibly absorb all those nanites! You'd overload in an instant.
:'''Rex''': In case you haven't noticed, I have this problem with authority.
:'''Rex''': (as Rex is absorbing nanites) Six wait! I can hear them!
:'''Doctor Holiday''': (Watching from the ship) What are you waiting for, Six? Take the shot!
:'''Rex''': (Speaking mechanically) Build protocol enabled. Command error detected. Abort. Abort. Stand by engaged. (Rex falls. His voice reverts to normal) Take the shot.
:'''Agent Six''': He told me he could hear them.
:'''Doctor Holiday''': I picked this up during the offload... It's Nanite. I'm sure of it.
:'''Agent Six''': Seems there are more secrets inside that kid than we realized.
:'''Skalamander:''' What's the kid doing here?
:'''Biowulf:''' I don't know. This was supposed to be routine. Something's not right.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' What did you do with my friends!?
:'''Salamander:''' He thinks we've done something.
:'''Biowulf:''' Then let him keep thinking.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' You know, the nanites in me can counteract knockout gas! The playing-possum thing's a pretty good trick. Now tell me where my friends are or I start squeezing!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Six:''' He told me he could hear them.
:'''Holiday:''' I pulled this off during the offload. It's nanite. I'm sure of it.
:'''Six:''' Seems like there are more secrets inside that kid than we thought.

===Leader of the Pack===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Holiday:''' There couldn't possibly be enough E.V.O. activity to account for these nanite readings. They're off the scale. Looking for Van Kleiss?
: '''Rex:''' Circe. I thought I saw her in the blimp.
: '''Holiday:''' That's the girl you met in Cabo Luna.
: '''Rex:''' She may be with the Pack now, but I think I can still get her to talk to me. You know I can be pretty convincing.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Dr. Holiday, there! Now let's take this outside!
:'''Holiday:''' Rex.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It's quite all right. The determination of youth. I'm sure Circe will be disappointed she couldn't see you, Rex. She's attending to other duties this evening. Now if you will excuse me. 
: '''Rex:''' Why are you really here!?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' The people of Abysus have a great way to offer the world. I'm just in part to make that known. 
:'''Rex:''' Or maybe 'cause I couldn't come to you, so now you're coming to me!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I admit you are important to me, Rex, but it's not always about you.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Circe? Interesting look. Want to tell me what's going on?
: '''Circe:''' Not today. 
:(''Knocks him out cold with a metal slate. She later looks outside Rex's prison cell and leaves, with a slightly guilty, dejected expression'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Well, thanks for nearly bashing my brains in back there! And what's with the &quot;knocking me out&quot; thing?
: '''Circe:''' We just needed to keep you out of the way until all of this was over.
: '''Rex:''' ''This!?'' He could destroy the whole city!
: '''Circe:''' He's trying to negotiate peace from a position of strength.
: '''Rex''' (sarcastically)''':''' Oh, yeah! All this nanite power is just screaming peace.
: '''Circe:''' His methods may be aggressive. But he's here to save us...and you. Come on, Rex, jump in with us. The water's fine.
: '''Rex:''' I'll think about it ''after'' I've stopped Van Kleiss.
: '''Circe:''' It's too late for that now, Rex. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Van Kleiss:''' We will not be ignored! ''Circe'' understands this. Why don't you respect her judgement?
:'''Rex:''' You think you can lure me in with her.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Like a fish to water.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I won!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It seems you have. Your parents would have been so proud. I never had the chance to tell you about them, have I? Perhaps another time.

===Breach===
: '''Rex:''' This is...different.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' What is Van Kliess up to, Breach! Where did he have you send Rex?
: '''Breach:''' Van Kleiss isn't always in charge of me. Sometimes I do what I want; like now.
===Of Love and War===
===No Strings Attached===
===Desperate Measures===
===The E.V.O. Agenda===

===Dark Passage===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' Rex? Is that you?
:'''Rex:''' You know my name.
:'''Dr. Rylandar:''' Of course I do! I gave it to you!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' I can't believe you're alive. What a stroke of luck.
:'''Rex:''' Dad?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' You've lost your memory, have you? not surprising, considering what you've been through. Oh. Sorry to disappoint you, Rex. I'm afraid I'm not who you want me to be.
:'''Rex:''' Oh. So if you're not my dad, do you know where he is? Oh, well. Rex Rylander is a goofy name, anyway.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Dr. Rylander, I've got to know.
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' You must understand. It was never about power or greed. It was able changing the world, saving mankind from disease and starvation. And we would have succeeded until ''they'' got involved.
:'''Rex:''' What are you talking about?
:'''Rylander:''' The nanites were incomplete. The incident spread them across the globe before we could finish their final programming. Except for you. Yours were from a different batch, the very first actually. All those innocent victims.
:'''Rex:''' If you feel so bad about it, why have you been attacking more people?
:'''Rylander:''' Hmm. &quot;The chosen few.&quot; Those men and women, Rex, are far from innocent. While they hide in their office towers and gated estates, I've been here trying to set things right, to find a cure for what we created. I've begged for more funding.
:'''Rex:''' Wait! Everyone you attacked- They all worked on the Nanite Project?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' They commissioned it. I merely wished to send them a warning to see what would happen if they refused to help finish the good work we started. And it was good, Rex. ''You're'' living proof that we were doing the right thing.
:'''Rex''' (''indignant'')''':''' By turning me into an E.V.O.!?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' You had an accident. The nanites were your only hope. It was tremendous gamble. The...unexpected side affects name later. It was surprise to all of us. Oh. The look on your brother's face...
:'''Rex:''' Brother?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' When the Event occurred, it was your powers that saved you both. Most of the others, they weren't so lucky.
:'''Rex''' (''to himself'')''':''' I'm not alone.
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' Oh, here. I have something for you.
:(''Injects the mighty and all-powerful Omega Nanite into his system'')
:'''Rex:''' Ow.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' The force-field must be failing.
:'''Rex:''' Forget the force-field! What did you just inject me with!?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' ''[[w:Omnipotence |Everything]]''.
:'''Rex:''' ''Enough, okay!? Do you have any idea what's been like!? Not knowing who I am!? If my family's dead or alive!? Quite with the mad scientist act and give me some answers!!''
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' Forgive me, Rex. I been so consumed with my own guilt I didn't consider what you must be going through. The truth is-
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Truth, Doctor? You wouldn't know the first thing about it. Nor loyalty for that matter. How many times must I tell you this, Rex? The answers you so desperately seek lie with me. And as for you, Doctor, consider our past disagreement settled. I look forward to continuing our research...alone. This was unavoidable, Rex. The longer you resist me, the more people get hurt. Rylander has always been on borrowed time. All of this belongs to me now. Destroy me and you lose everything.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Six:''' No. I didn't see what happened, but according to Rex, Van Kleiss has been eliminated. Rylander's experiment is a total loss.
:'''Holiday:''' All of this for nothing. I'm sorry, Rex.
:'''Rex:''' It wasn't for nothing, Doc. I've got a brother. Out there- somewhere. Finally! I started to get some real answers. I feel closer to the truth than ever.

===The Forgotten===
:'''Six:''' Rex!
:'''Rex:''' It's like I'm hearing through my nanites.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''No-Face:''' You are not the Before.
:'''Rex:''' I'm not sure that was a complete sentence back then.
:'''No-Face:''' ''They'' are the Before! The Before forgot us. The Before left us in pain.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Operation: Wingman===
:'''Annie:''' &quot;Do you have a girlfriend?&quot;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;It's complicated. She's in league with an evil dictator who wants me dead.&quot;
:'''Annie:''' &quot;Yeah. My dad's always worried about me dating, too.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Rabble===
:'''Quarry''': Come on, Rex. (''holds up Rex's journal'') We both know this is what you really want. So go ahead take it. Walk away. Show them who you really are. You were always very good a taking care of yourself. Why should now be any different?
:'''Rex''': (''Cuts his journal in two'') Whoever I was back then, is not who I am now. Not anymore.
:'''Quarry''': Your choice.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex''': It's over, Quarry! You lose!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Sqywwd:''' I hope you don't expect us to thank you.
: '''Rex:''' No. Providence won't bother you unless you do something stupid.
: '''Cricket:''' We'll be fine. Thank you, Rex. 
:(''Kisses him on the check'')
: '''Tuck:''' Don't forget about us, Okay?
: '''Rex:''' That may be a promise I can't keep. (''Flies off on his Boogie Pack'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' It's going to happen again, isn't it? I'm going to blank out. How long do I have?
: '''Holiday:''' I don't know, Rex. It's likely triggered by a specific event; something traumatic.

===The Hunter===

===Gravity===

===What Lies Beneath===
: '''Circe:''' Rex, it's me.
: '''Rex:''' Circe? What do ''you'' want!?
: '''Circe:''' Things in Abysus- they're bad, Rex. I need your help.
: '''Rex:''' Oh, well, how do I put this nicely? Not a chance! You made your choice, Circe! I made mine. End of story.
: '''Circe:''' Please, Rex. I know you're mad at me, but this is a matter of life and death.
: '''Rex:''' A lot of things are right now. Nice talking to you.
: '''Circe:''' Rex!?
: (''Looks crestfallen'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I didn't know you were still in touch with Circe.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, me neither. Can we please stop talking about this?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Holiday:''' She's very pretty.
: '''Rex:''' She works for Van Kleiss. She's the enemy. 
: '''Holiday:''' But you still like her, don't you?
: '''Rex:''' I am ''not'' talking about this!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' Rex, thank you.
: '''Rex:''' I'm not doing this for you. But...your welcome. (''Circe similes hopefully'') So what exactly am I supposed to do?
:'''Holiday:''' When I said you were the key, I meant that literally. According to the plans, the machine needs to be turned on by a molecular level. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' You ''lied'' to me!!
: '''Circe:''' You wouldn't have come if I told you the truth.
: '''Rex:''' This wasn't about you needing ''me''!! This is about you needing Van Kleiss!!
: '''Circe:''' I need you both. Please, Rex, you don't understand.
: '''Rex:''' No!! ''You'' don't understand!! Van Kleiss is gone and I intend to keep it that way!!
: '''Biowulf:''' You destroyed us all!!
: '''Six:''' Don't even breathe.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' You don't know what you've done.
: '''Rex:''' Then, I guess we're even.
: '''Circe:''' You've never understood his power. Van Kleiss kept us safe here. His force was the only thing keeping Abysus together, and you destroyed that.
: '''Rex:''' We're done here!!
: '''Holiday:''' Rex, I think she's right. Nanites operate on a molecular level. If they bonded with Van Kleiss, breaking off his connection must have caused a splinter; resulting in a disastrous chain reaction.
: '''Rex:''' I'm ''not'' bringing him back! ''Not now, not ever!!'' Besides, you don't need Van Kleiss! You have me!! Why not go straight to the source?!
:'''Holiday:''' Rex, no!
:'''Six:''' Stand down! It's too dangerous!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Let go of me!!
: '''Holiday:''' If you keep fighting these unstable nanites, they're going to destroy you!
: '''Rex:''' And if I don't they'll destroy everybody else.
: '''Holiday:''' Not if you listen to me! I have an idea. It's a long shot. Instead of fighting the nanites, ''communicate'' with them.
: '''Six:''' You want to talk to the nanites?
: '''Holiday:''' He's done it before.
: '''Rex:''' Never anything this big.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I got you! Don't let go!! (''Rex struggles to save Circe from falling as she clings to him; tears fill her eyes''). ''Circe!!'' (''as she falls into the black goop of highly unstable nanites'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' ''Circe!'' Six! Dr. Holiday! Okay, you win. (''technopathically starts the machine''). Something's...not right.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Circe! Come on, breathe!
: '''Circe''' (''coughs weakly'')''':''' Hey.
: '''Rex:''' Hey.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Stay with us, Circe. Van Kleiss is done.
: '''Circe:''' As much as I care about you, Rex, Van Kleiss and the Pack are my family. They took me in when no one else would. I can't abandon them.
: '''Rex:''' So that's it. We're always going to be on opposite sides.
: '''Circe:''' It does keep it interesting.

===The Swarm===
:'''Rex''' (thinking'')''':''' ''Gotta stay under. Not sure I can...make it.
:(''Has visions of those most dear to him: Noah, his crush Circe, Holiday, Six, Bobo)

===Basic===
===The Plague===
===Promises, Promises===
:''Note:'' This episode depicts how young Rex had joined Providence via Six's [[w:flashback episode|memories]].
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:''[Six narrates over imagery of the Nanite Event.]''
:'''Six:'''	The names and faces may change, but no matter how you slice it, war is war. You pick a side and you don’t look back. I believe that now and I believed it then. What gets you in trouble is when you start second guessing. Forget what you’re fighting for and you’re finished.
:'''Diane Farrah:''' ''[Panicked screaming is heard in the background of an EVO attack]'' There’s another entity has emerged, this time in the heart of Paris. Authorities are vastly unprepared. Unless a decisive response to this pandemic is marshalled, the city will fall just as Kiev— ''[Diane Farrah gets snatched by the EVO’s web]''
:''[A Providence assault vehicle rams through police cars, from which Six appears and deals with the EVO.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Save some for me partner! How else am I gonna earn my paycheck?
:''[Knight fires off a weapon and the scene cuts to present day at Providence Headquarters.]''
:'''Providence Agents:''' Surprise!
:'''Rex:'''	So, the flu shots?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I needed an excuse to get you here. We’ll do them after cake. I’ll get you Van Kleiss! ''[Holiday swings at a pinata blindfolded before Rex crushes it with his smack hands]''
:'''Rex:''' Sorry, Doc, it was taking too long. And it was either that or throw some of your cake at it.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Holiday walks over to Six at a corner, passing him a drink]'' You’re looking festive.
:'''Six:''' It was an odd choice to pick today to be his birthday.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It is the anniversary of his new life here. He deserves a celebration, he changed everything.
:'''Six:''' Has he?
:'''Rex:''' ''[Rex jumps onto a counter, speaking to the agents surrounding him]'' Ha-hah! How about hitting The Petting Zoo for a little pin-the-tail on the raging “Rhinocesaurus”?
:'''Dr. Holiday and Six:''' No.
:'''Rex:'''	Every party has a pooper. And I got two.
:'''Providence Agents:''' ''[Providence Agents turn off the lights and bring Rex a birthday cake]'' Happy Birthday!
:'''Rex:'''	Dudes!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You should be celebrating too, Six! After all, you’re the one who started this. In a way, it’s your birthday too.
:''[Flashback to Six and Knight walking through the Petting Zoo during construction of Providence HQ.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Nyquist. Fortier. How’s the monkey business?
:'''Nyquist:''' Ha ha-larious, Knight.
:'''Fortier:''' Hey, for your information we probably saved the world today.
:'''White Knight:''' I, for one, feel safer already. ''[Knight states, looking at Bobo while Six walks towards his cage]''
:'''Bobo:''' So, green man. We meet again!
:'''Calan:''' They found him at the Kremlin this time. He was threatening to push the button unless someone brought him a thousand pounds of caviar.
:'''Bobo:''' Chimp’s gotta eat.
:'''Fortier:''' What about your little bug hunt? Give you much trouble?
:'''White Knight:''' Nothing we couldn’t handle.
:''[The EVO is transported in a cage overhead while Knight and Six walk through a hallway.]''
:'''White Knight:''' What? Not even a smile? Oh by the way, happy birthday. ''[Knight passes Six a gift]''
:'''Six:''' How did you know?
:'''White Knight:''' I’m your partner. Can’t keep much from me.
:'''Six:''' Thanks.
:'''White Knight:''' So what crawled up your coat?
:'''Six:''' I’m getting tired of all this fighting. Did you see how many there are now? Are we gonna cage the whole world?
:'''White Knight:''' ''[Knight turns around, placing a hand on Six's shoulder]'' We’re preserving the human race. ''[The door to the processing facility opens]'' Besides, who says we’re gonna cage them all?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' ''[Looking at the EVO]'' And to think, this was once spinning webs in someone’s garden. Doctor Holiday, prepare for disassembly. ''[Doctor Holiday nods and activates the procedure as per his instructions. Doctor Fell sports a wicked smile during the experiment before it disintegrates the EVO without a trace]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It’s the same exact data as last time, and the time before that; Doctor Fell, why aren’t we studying them in a natural setting?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' Only through molecular dissection will we find a way to expunge this threat. The committee agrees with me on this. If you do not approve, I can always find another assistant.
:'''White Knight:''' ''[Doctor Holiday leaves the facility in frustration with Doctor Fell]'' Bleeding hearts. They’ll get us all killed one day.
:''[Holiday walks down a hallway and drops several notes, one of which Six picks up.]''
:'''Six:''' EVO?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Exponentially Variegated Organism; a little more scientific than spoiled meat. That is what you hired guns call them isn’t it?
:'''Six:''' It's Six, and I don't use guns. You told Fell we could learn more by bringing them in alive. What did you mean?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The nanites are altering our DNA, but with the right type of research, there's no doubt they could be programmed to stop or reverse the process. Imagine a third option to this, kill-or-Contain protocol.
:'''Six:''' A third option?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' A cure.
:'''White Knight:''' ''[Knight and several other Providence agents run past Holiday after an alarm activates]'' Buckle up partner! Looks like we got ourselves a big one.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hopeless.
:''[Providence mercenaries arrive at Mexico to confront the giant mechanical EVO.]''
:'''White Knight:''' What are we looking at?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' ''[Speaking through a monitor]'' Fascinating. It appears to be bio-mechanical. I must have a closer look at this one.
:'''White Knight:''' One for the trophy case.
:'''Six:''' Wait. We may get more out of this one if we bring it in alive!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Fell:''' You're letting your emotions cloud your judgement, Six. With what we gleam from this boy, I could create tools that could inoculate the world.
:'''Six:''' Why risk it? He can already cure them! I've seen it!
:'''White Knight:''' So, what, we train him? Make him one of us?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Knight:''' We're supposed to be friends! He's a monster! What do you see in him!?
:'''Six:''' Hope.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''White Knight:''' Thanks for talking some sense into him, Doc. ''[Knight picks up Six’s katana and walks toward Rex]''
:'''Rex:''' What...what’s happening to me? ''[Rex pleas to Knight, who simply looks down at him before warning sirens go off and the facility begins to lockdown]''
:'''Dr. Fell:''' We’re all going to burn. ''[Fell escapes while Rex is craned away by Holiday on an upper level]''
:'''White Knight:''' No! ''[Knight looks back at Six who is slowly picking himself up while the remaining exits close off. In a last ditch effort, Knight carries Six and throws him through the final set of doors before they seal shut]''
:'''Six:'''	''[Six picks himself and slams his fist against the glass]'' Why?
:'''White Knight:''' I know what side I’m on. ''[Knight proudly states before getting consumed by a blinding white light and screaming in agony]''
:'''Six:'''	''[Grabbing a hold of Dr. Fell's collar Six shouts]'' Do something!
:'''Dr. Fell:''' Once the cycle starts it's impossible to shut down.
:'''Rex:'''	''[Contrary to Dr. Fell's statement, the light fades away and the electricity is subdued after Rex interfaces with a control panel]'' Impossible? Psh, right.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' How did you—-?
:'''Rex:''' Told it to turn off. And it did! Wait, where...where am I?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' ''[Speaking through a monitor]'' Doctor Holiday. Maybe you were right.
:'''Dr. Holiday:'''	Maybe you should start looking for another job.
:'''Bobo:''' ''[Within the processing chamber, Knight takes a few steps forward before collapsing]'' Hey marshmallow! Nice look! ''[Knight looks back up at Bobo with his signature bleached appearance]''
:''[Some time later, in his office White Knight speaks to Six through a monitor.]''
:'''White Knight:''' How’s the training?
:'''Six:'''	Slow.
:'''White Knight:''' Not all you hoped he’d be? ''[Rex and Bobo topple each other in a play fight while Knight continues to monologue in his office]'' Still, who would’ve thought the kinder, gentler approach would do such wonders for our profile. The notion of a cure has gotten Providence funding, and worldwide prestige. The committee's happy. Your new partner may just be the best thing this operation could have asked for. Funny, isn’t it? Because of you I can never leave this chamber. I’m now the only pure human left in the world. And the perfect poster boy to run this operation. I suppose I should thank you.
:'''Six:''' I promised him that we would help uncover his past; find his family.
:'''White Knight:''' Whatever keeps him on his leash. But if he shows the slightest sign of turning into thing again, it's all on you.
:''[Back at the party in the present, Noah is pinned down by Bobo with a bag on his head to Rex’s amusement.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Hoo-hoo-hoo! Oh my—hold him down, I’ll get the camera! ''[Rex runs to his room, and after a quick search he instead finds a long box on a corner shelf]''
:'''Six:''' Happy birthday. ''[Six walks into his room, officially greeting Rex]''
:'''Rex:'''	From you? For me? You gotta be kidding.
:'''Six:''' You, your work. It has made a real difference. I just—-
:'''Rex:'''	Yeah, I know I’m pretty great! But seriously get off the sap train, Six. It’s creeping me out. ''[Rex opens the gift to reveal the blade inside]'' Wow, Six! Thank you!
:'''Six:'''	It’s called a tanto. It’s the ceremonial blade of a samurai warrior.
:'''Rex:'''	Samurai? Awesome.
:'''Six:'''	''[Six unsheathes his own tanto and holds it against Rex’s]'' This is its twin.
:'''Rex:'''	''[Rex removes the cap from his tanto and squints at the symbol etched into the blade]'' Is that...writing?
:'''Six:'''	Bushido symbol of loyalty. It means whether for good or ill, our fates will follow the same path. This one stays with me.
:'''Rex:'''	Think this thing can cut through Holiday’s chocolate cake?
:'''Six:'''	''[Six raises an eyebrow]'' Anything’s possible.
:''[Rex puts the cap back on to the blade and camera cuts to outside of Providence headquarters, panning outward until screen fades to black.]''

===Badlands===
:'''Gatlocke:''' Do you like rules?
:'''Rex:''' Can't say I do.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Gatlocke:''' Feel that? It's quilted. This is the good kind. But I won't be able to really enjoy in ''until I have those nanites!''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Out of the Dark===
:''Note'': Rex's love interest and sweetheart Circe appears in a vision.

===Payback===
:''[In the realm of Abysus]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Humiliated... De-powered... All but destroyed. Hardly the new world I set out to build, is it?
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, a spy has made contact.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Well?
:'''Providence Spy:''' Everything is in place.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' And the boy?
:'''Providence Spy:''' He's here.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' ''[to his loyal followers]'' Soon our greatest enemy will be buried! Providence itself will be destroyed. And we'll have Rex to thank.
:'''Rex:''' Come on! Who's gonna know?
:'''Noah:''' Yeah. It would only be for a minute or two.
:'''Calan:''' You actually want me to let you fly the keep?
:''[Calan sighs]''
:'''Calan:''' Only until the next course change. And nothing fancy.
:'''Rex:''' All right, let's see what this baby can really do! Why, it wasn't me! Seriously!
:'''Both:''' Whoa!
:'''Providence Spies:''' Aah!
:'''White Knight:''' Calan, what's your status?
:'''Calan:''' Came from out of nowhere. We're being boarded. Scramble all jump jets. Mobilize for a counter-offensive.
:'''White Knight:''' This is a coordinated attack. Every major Providence outpost around the globe has been hit.
:'''Six:''' So far they've steered clear of headquarters. I'm on route to the keep now.
:'''Rex:''' Are they really that stupid? Attacking the keep with me on board? This should only take a minute.
:'''Noah:''' Wait up!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Find Rex. It goes without saying &quot;alive&quot; would be ideal. Take the ship.
:'''Providence Spy:''' Some kind of power surge. We're losing control of the helm!
:'''Calan:''' Find out where it's coming from. Doc, if you'll excuse me--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six?
:'''Six:''' Five minutes out. Prepare for an evac. I'm getting you off the ship.
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Noah:''' Again with the Smack Hands? You always open with that move. Change it up a little!
:'''Both:''' Whoa!
:'''Bobo:''' You see what you get? That's what happens when you interrupt my nap-- Bobo gets cranky!
:'''Rex:''' I learned that the hard way, too.
:'''Calan:''' All hands-- We've got intruders on deck four, five, and six. Get'em off our ship!
:'''Rex:''' Go!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Attention, Providence. The ship is ours.
:'''Rex:''' Ugh! Not even close, Van Kleiss!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Lay down your weapons, and your lives will be spared. Continue to resist and nothing survives.
:'''Rex:''' You've made I made some lame-o moves before, Van Kleiss, but this one-- classic.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Seems you may have run out of tricks. Oh, you had to know it would only be a matter of time. I've had a fair amount of time on my hands these days. ''[Restrains Rex with his gauntlet]''
:'''Rex:''' Aaaaah!
:'''Van Kleiss:'''  You took something very precious from me, Rex, and now I'll be returning the favor.
:'''Rex:''' If you want my monkey, you can forget it. 
:''[Van Kleiss starts draining nanites from Rex, causing him to squirm and scream in pain.]''
:''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It might come as a surprise that when you stole the nanites that gave my power, you left some of your behind-- Enough to tell me a few of what makes you tick. :''[Rex tries to summon a build, but nothing happens.]''
:'''Rex:''' Ungh!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:''[Rex gasps]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' You'll find that using your powers will be something of a challenge. The nanites that you so special belong to me now.
:'''Biowulf:''' What shall I do with him, master?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I have everything I need from him. I could care less. Secure the rest of the ship.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Come on! Do you really think throwing me out that hatch is the best way to get rid of me? Wouldn't it be more fun to throw me in a cage, tie me down in front of a laser?
:'''Biowulf:''' No!
:'''Rex:''' Aaaaaaaah! Wh-o-o-o-o-oa!
:'''Noah:''' What is he doing?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' This is no time to fool around, Rex.
:'''Rex:''' Happened to notice that ground coming up on his, doc? If you don't do something fast, I'm about to become part of it! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Ugh!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, are you okay?
:'''Rex:''' I think we may have a problem.
:'''White Knight:''' What do you mean &quot;they have the keep&quot;?! Blow it up!
:'''Six:''' We tried. The remote-destruct sequence has been disabled. Van Kleiss has complete control of it.
:'''White Knight:''' Give me some good news.
:'''Six:''' We know where it's heading. Here.
:'''Biowulf:''' This is the commanding officer. We found him attempting to destroy this ship.
:'''Calan:''' What's your game, Van Kleiss?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, a very good question-- One that depends entirely on what happens next, Captain. It seems my powers have made a slight... change.
:'''Rex:''' Well? They're gone, aren't they? Van Kleiss took all my active nanites.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Not exactly. I found this. Definitely a nanite, but it's unlike anything I've ever seen. Molecular scans seems to indicate it's some kind of control-nanite.
:'''Rex:''' But with nothing to control.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' With a large enough concentration of nanites, we might be able to jump-start it. But even with that, there's no guarantee it would replicate or even give you back the same abilities.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I hate to say it, but this one has me stumped.
:'''Rex:''' Great. Loving this.
:'''White Knight:''' If you're finished with the lost cause, we've got a bigger problem.
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, how is this possible?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' It would seem Rex's nanites have an opposite effect on me. He cured EVOs. Now I create them. Full ahead-- Ramming speed! Once we're through, we'll destroy Providence from the inside out.
:'''White Knight:''' Lock it down! I want hallways cleared and critical sections defended. They will not take this base.
:'''Rex:''' Well? What are we waiting for? Let's go stop them!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, you're in no condition to fight.
:'''Rex:''' Well, what do you expect me to do-- Hide?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Whatever it takes. That nanite inside you might be able to bring you back, but it's going to take me time to figure out how. And that's not something we have a lot of right now.
:'''Rex:''' Wow. Nice outfit.
:'''Noah:''' Got one for you, too. You get to armor up like the rest of us normals.
:'''Rex:''' Come on.
:'''Bobo:''' All right, where to?
:'''Rex:''' South Pacific.
:'''Bobo:''' That's my boy. And here I thought you'd try to pull some hero stunt. Oh, brother.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I want the White Knight. Find where he's hiding and bring him to me.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That should be everything, as long as the offsite backup holds.
:'''Six:''' Don't let it get to that.
:'''Noah:''' This is a strange place for a base.
:'''Rex:''' When I have too many nanites in me, this is where I go to offload.
:'''Bobo:''' Think of it as a nanite porta-potty.
:'''Noah:''' Thanks... For that image, Bobo. So, we just put some of these nanites in you, and we're good to go?
:'''Rex:''' No. They're inactive. Or at least stripped of their programming. Since I can't control them, I just have to hope that whatever this thing is inside me can't.
:'''Noah:''' So... What happens if it can't?
:'''Bobo:''' Let me put it this way-- The last guy who went swimmin' in that soup ended up a 50-foot freak show.
:'''White Knight:''' Listen to me carrefully, Van Kleiss.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I'd rather not.
:'''White Knight:''' Where are they?
:'''Six:''' The inner perimeter has been compromised. They're coming.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Ugh! Ungh!
:''[Skalamander roars]''
:''[Skalamander roars]''
:'''Biowulf:''' Open it.
:'''Rex:''' Okay. Bobo, set the thing to &quot;vent&quot; and go. If this doesn't work, I don't want you getting caught in the blast.
:'''Bobo:''' No.
:'''Noah:''' Forget it. Rex, at least think about his for a sec. What if it wipes your memory? What it turns you into some evil monster?
:'''Rex:''' My friends need me. There's nothing more to think about. Bobo, do it.
:'''Bobo:''' Long odds, pay big.
:''[Bobo groans]''
:'''Six:''' You've overstayed your welcome.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, here's someone who would make a nice addition to our EVO ranks.
:'''Six:''' Go ahead and try. Ugh!
:''[Six groans]''
:'''Rex:''' Trying to do my job for me, Six? Here's a thought-- When your top henchman can't even get rid of someone by throwing him out of a moving plane, time to rethink the help.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' You are determined-- I'll give you that. If it's what you prefer, I'll finish you myself.
:'''Rex:''' Maybe.
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa! Cool!
:'''Bobo:''' See? I told you it would work.
:'''Six:''' This is an unexpected surprise.
:'''Rex:''' Well, by now, you should expect the unexpected from me, Six.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ungh!
:''[Skalamander roars]''
:''[Dr. Holiday grunts]''
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Noah:''' Is that what I think it is?
:'''Bobo:''' Not anymore.
:'''Noah:''' You think there might be more of them?
:'''Bobo:''' Eh... Probably.
:''[Biowulf grunts]''
:''[Biowulf growls]''
:'''Biowulf:''' Aaaaaaah!
:'''White Knight:''' I use that electromagnet to trap stray nanites. You're lucky it's on the lowest setting. Any higher, and it would rip the nanites right out of your body.
:''[Biowulf grunts]''
:'''Biowulf:''' Then why don't you?
:'''White Knight:''' Because then I wouldn't be able to do this.
:'''Skalamander:''' No one can help you. You're all alone now.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Not exactly. We still have my sister.
:''[Skalamander grunting]''
:''[Rex and Van Kleiss grunts]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Aaaaah!
:'''Rex:''' No way!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ungh!
:'''Rex:''' Once again, epic fail. I'll take my nanites back now.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh!
:'''Noah:''' Rex, wait!
:'''Bobo:''' Van Kleiss left behind a few presents.
:'''Rex:''' No time to look everywhere. I'm shutting everything down.
:'''Noah:''' You can do that?
:'''Rex:''' Don't know. Never tried. Anything else? No?
:'''Calan:''' Whew! I never want to do that again. No, sir.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Amazing.
:'''Rex:''' Why, thank you.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I was talking about the nanites. That was a risky move, Rex, but it worked. As far as I can tell, you're back to your old self.
:'''Rex:''' I don't know. Something feels different. That new build-- I think I can do even more. It's like I can see the blueprints. I just need to figure out how to put it all together.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' White Knight in person. Never thought I'd see the day.
:'''White Knight:''' Well, don't get used to it. We found all the explosives. The base and the keep will need extensive repairs. This was not our finest hour.
:'''Rex:''' What are you talking about? We kicked butt! So what if Van Kleiss is back and more powerful than ever? So am I! If he wants a nanite war, let him bring it!
:''[White Knight laughs]''
:'''White Knight:''' It's good to have your back, Rex.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You know, I think he actually means it.
:'''Rex:''' Sure he does. So, tell me something, guys-- What's next?

==Season Two (2011)==
===Rampage===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' I'll give you the recap. Thanks to these microscopic machines called nanites, I can build cool gear out of my body. I'm what's called an EVO. But most evo's aren't lucky like me. They usually look like this. ''[laughing]'' I know what you're thinking. And they smell bad, too. There's one other thing I can do that makes me even more special. Some EVOs, I can cure. That's why I work for Providence. We're the people you call when an evo is tearing up your lawn or attacking a city. And the worst of them is this guy... Van Kleiss. The last time we fought, things got a little out of hand. I'll admit it... we pretty much got our tails handed to us. He steals the key, wrecks headquarters, hijacks my nanite to get back the powers I took away from him. And now he can actually make people into EVOs. Then, to top it off, he has his dog boy Biowulf throw me, overboard at 6,000 feet. Not that anyone's keeping score. Sure, Van Kleiss may be back, but so am I. So what if he can make EVOs? I can still cure them. He may have new powers, but guess what... I do, too. Ever since my powers came back, I've got the ability to make amazing new machines. Now I just have to figure out how to build more.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' If you're trying to check up on me, Six, the answer's still a big fat... ''[imitates buzzer]'' I can't figure out how to make this new build.
:'''Six:''' It might take some time, but you'll get it.
:'''Rex:''' And meanwhile, Van Kleiss is out there doing who knows what. I wish they'd hurry up and get the H.Q. Rebuilt. You're not still living out of your jump jet like some ninja hobo, are you?
:'''Six:''' My temporary accommodations are perfectly adequate.
:'''Rex:''' Yep. Still living in the jet. ''[Groans]'' I hate being kicked out of our house. Although, as long as they're building stuff, I need a hot tub.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;I was wondering when you and your hair would show up again, Van Kleiss.&quot;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Back to your old self again, I see. And how are those new abilities developing?&quot;
:'''Rex:''' Just fine. Thanks for asking.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Don't you have anything better to do with your life then come after me all the time?&quot;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' &quot;Funny you should ask.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Doc? How are those biometrics looking now?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Give it a try.
:'''Rex:''' Ah, yeah! It's about time! Machines work. I just hope the important part does.
:'''Noah:''' What just happened?
:'''Rex:''' Do you remember anything?
:'''Noah:''' It all kind of hazy. I mostly remember the feeling of... Fun. And I remember you punching me in the face.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah. Sorry about that. I thought you were trying to eat me. Come on. We've got a rat to catch. Why so happy? Is this the part where breach shows up and rescues you?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Actually, no. This is the part where she takes your inadequately guarded fuel core.
:'''Six:''' Six to post, what's your status? Six to post.
:'''Rex:''' Another decoy?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I should share some of the credit with your friend over here. He played the part to perfection.
:'''Noah:''' Gee, thanks.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, this would be the part where Breach shows up.
:'''Noah:''' I can't believe I did all this. Sounds like I had the time of my life.
:'''Rex:''' ''[laughing]'' It almost became your life. Sorry about that.
:'''Noah:''' Are you kidding? Just knowing I was a rampaging evo is cool. I wish I could have remembered at least some of it.
:'''Rex:''' It's probably all over the news if you want a replay... At least until you stepped on the news van.
:'''Noah:''' Well... ''[Exhales sharply]'' Guess it's back to quadratic equations.
:'''Rex:''' I have no idea what those are. I've got somewhere I need to be. See you later. I know. I'm not supposed to be here. I don't care if it's a construction zone. I'm moving back.
:'''Six:''' It's all right. Turns out you're not the only one who feels that way. You'll get used to the cold showers. Food, you're on your own. From the top?
:'''Rex:''' From the top.
:'''Six:''' What were you trying to build, anyway?
:'''Rex:''' A water jet. Oh, by the way, I need a new cellphone.
:'''Six:''' Yes?
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' It's after my glasses again.
:'''Six:''' Glasses?
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' This time I am serious. Now, when are you going to send someone out here?
:'''Six:''' Ma'am, I'm...
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' Do you even work for Providence?
:'''Six:''' Yes, I work for Providence.
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' What kind of a flimflam outfit is this?
:'''Six:''' How did you get this number?

===Wasteland===
===Tough Love===

===The Lost Weekend===
:'''Kenwyn:''' What did you to Skwydd?
:'''Mouse:''' Just shedding a light light on how dangerous his kind can be.
:'''Rex:''' By juicing his powers? What were you thinking?
:'''Mouse:''' Most inorganic material explodes when given that kind of molecular jolt, but not not nanites. They convert the energy into power that amplifies an E.V.O.'s abilities to tremendously uncontrollable levels.

===Star-Crossed===

===Alliance===
:'''Rex:''' ''[to himself]'' And he brought his Pack flunkies. Biowulf, Skalamander, Breach. Circe? Gotta hurry. Their headed straight for... someplace else. Gonna find out where.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Holiday:''' Rex why aren't you fixing that shield regulator?
:'''Rex:''' Hint. You may remember him from such schemes as destroying Providence headquarters, and trying to take over the entire Earth.
:'''Holiday:''' Van Kliess, in there? You're right. You should investigate after you fix the shield.
:'''Rex:''' Then it might be too late.
:'''Holiday:''' She's there, isn't she?
:'''Rex:''' Who? Breach? Yeah, but...
:'''Holiday:''' A quick recon and that's it.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Intriguing. An entire urban branch of EVO. development.
:'''Biowulf:''' This place is a waste of our time.
:'''Circe:''' Van Kleiss knows what he's doing. It's not your place to question.
:'''Biowulf:''' Question?! You dare accuse me of disloyalty?!
:'''Circe:''' Sorry. Get a grip!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' You're right, you know. We should be down there with him. What is he up to anyway?
:'''Biowulf:''' I do not know.
:'''Circe:''' You don't know? I thought he trusted you with everything.
:'''Biowulf:''' Of course he does! He just--
:'''Rex:''' Hey! Easy on the stealth suit, which apparently, isn't so stealthy.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''NoFace:''' Invaders have come before. They brought only pain.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' It is a pain we both share. The same Providence outsides attacked my lands, destroyed my army.
:'''NoFace:''' There was one who tormented us, humiliated us. The grower of machines.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ah, Rex. Another thorn we share. My proposal is simple: You control a formidable legion. I, in turn, can provide the escape and the vengeance you seek. I can be your liberator. You can be my general. Together we will crush our enemies, starting with the one you hate most. Now are we--
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, I have a report.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' ''[irritated]'' This is a private conversation. Can't you handle the sightest detail without bothering me?
:'''Biowulf:''' Of course, Master. It was nothing.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Here comes the moment when our brave hero sweeps the girl of her feet! Literally!
:'''Biowulf:''' Don't let him.
:'''Circe:''' Hey! Let--
:'''Rex:''' ''[flies off with Circe in his arms]''' See you around, henchie!
:'''Biowulf:''' ''[to Skalamander]''  Follow them.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' Down, now!
:'''Rex:''' Not till we hear each other out!
:'''Circe:''' Sure! I'll go first. 
:''[Breaks the Bogie Pack with a hypersonic burst, causing them to fall]''
:'''Rex:''' Oh, great. Way to go, Circe.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' ''[to himself]'' Our hero pursues the girl of his dreams, heedless of her attempts to break his heart... along with the rest of him. Circe, just one minute, okay? Look-No powers!
:'''Circe:''' One minute! But if this is about leaving the Pack--
:'''Rex:''' Please. I'm way past that. There are bigger things going here than who you hang out with.
:'''Circe:''' Fifty seconds!
:'''Rex:''' I wasn't sent here to spy on you. I'm here to stop these things from ever getting out.
:'''Circe:''' Forty! Why are you telling me this? You know who I am!
:'''Rex:''' You've seen the things that live here. Whatever deal you think Van Kleiss is making, it's going to turn out bad for everyone.
:'''Circe:''' Thirty seconds!
:'''Rex:''' I do know who you are, Circe. Just for once think for yourself. Maybe your perfect leader could actually be wrong, maybe even a bit crazy, nuts, certifiably insane!
: '''Circe:''' Shut up! Twenty! Talk about blinded. Did you ever wonder why Van Kleiss is so interested in you?
:'''Rex:''' Oh, I don't know. Maybe he wants me dead?
:'''Circe:''' Not anymore. Something has changed, Rex. Ever since you got your powers back, I hear him talking. Saying you have something that's the key to everything. For whatever reason, he needs you alive. I know it, Rex. He'd never let you be killed.
:'''Rex:''' Never, huh?
:'''Circe:''' Time's up! 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Now this looks like a party.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Rex, you never cease to amaze me.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''No-Face:''' Defiler! Give him to us!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now do you believe I can deliver what I say? Will yoh agree to my leadership?
:'''No-Face:''' We agree to it! Give him to us! Now! Now! Now!
:'''Circe:''' ''[very shocked]''' Van Kleiss, I didn't bring Rex here so that you could-- He'll kill him!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Never forget how I found you, Circe. What you were... before. He's yours. 
:''[Tears well up in Circe's eyes; thoroughly horrified that her master would calmly allow Rex's life to be put at risk]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' ''[weakly]''' Is this what you wanted? 
:''[Collapses from his inquiries, causing Circe to open her eyes]''
:'''Circe''' ''[tearful, pleading]'': Stop this! Please! You need him alive!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Alive, yes. Heart pumping, lungs breathing, but his mind? The less there's left of that, the better. Circe, I warn you: Lift so much as a finger to help him, and you're finished!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' You, Biowulf, even me. We're all just means to an end for him. He doesn't really care for any of us.
:'''Rex:''' So you finally figured that out. Better late than never, I guess.
:'''Circe:''' It's not too late! Not if I have anything to say about it!
:''[Extends her fleshly and grotesque EVOs mouth]''
:'''Bobo:''' Whoa! Whoa! There are some of us who might not like the sound of whatever you're about to do!
:'''Circe:''' I'll adjust the frequency to exclude friendly EVOs.
:'''Bobo:''' Does that include me?
:'''Circe:''' For now. 
:''[Uses her melodious, hypnotic singing to call back the EVOs escaping]''
:'''Rex:''' I thought you said you could filter it.
:'''Circe:''' It's not an exact science. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' Van Kleiss.
:'''Rex:''' Breach'll get him out... eventually. But right now he's in there, you're out here. You don't have a better opportunity to consider your options.
:''[Notice the two of them holding hands and let go, blushing]''
:'''Bobo:''' What is it stealing from our own people that's so dang satisfying?
:'''Circe:''' You forget to remove the tracker. I'm not going to Providence.
:'''Rex:''' Doesn't matter where you go. All that matters is that you want to go there. That said. I hear Hong Kong's nice this time of year.

===Robo Bobo===
===Divide By Six===
:'''One''': ''[Speaking through Rex]'' Six.
:'''Six''': One?
:'''One''': You left this place, quit life as a mercenary and so rarely returned to visit.
:'''Six''': I did what I felt was right, I never meant to dishonor.
:'''One''': So rarely, that I never had time to tell you how proud you've made me.
:'''Six''': ''[Takes off his glasses for the first time in the series]'' We're going to help you. We're going to take you home.
:'''One''': But Six, I  am home. ''[Rex falls unconscious while One's body starts changing. Eventually his body dissolves and fertilizes the entire island to its former splendor]''
: '''Six:''' He's still One. He's just one with everything.
===Mixed Signals===
: '''Rex:''' Whoa, big guy! Someone needs to ease off on the cheeseburgers.
: '''Six:''' Skip the insults. Start the containment.
: '''Rex:''' Like its feelings are going to get hurt. One bad and ugly going down. What?
: '''Six:''' Rex? Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Cool!
: '''Six:''' You want to explain this?
: '''Rex:''' I don't know. It's like some weird vision of this thing filled my head, then built itself out of me. Maybe the vision came from Blobbo. Maybe it's trying to talk to me. Come on, big boy. Send me some more pictures. What's on your mind?
: '''Six:''' Groceries. That's what's on its mind.
: '''Rex:''' I'm skipping. I'm over it. That vision must have been a fluke.
: '''Six:''' All right, then. We're going with a two-prong attack. Use caution. This kind of EVO might be a splitter. Rex! Snap out of it!
: '''Rex:''' Whoa! Whoa! Ha! I wasn't supposed to do that, right?
: '''Six:''' Rex, I want you back at HQ.
: '''Rex:''' But I feel okay now. And we've got, um-- Two blobs to put down.
: '''Six:''' Now!
: '''Holiday:''' No trace of any recent electrochemical or DNA abnormalities. Everything reads normal.
: '''Rex:''' But it's like the visions were being transmitted, and I was seeing it from a nanite point of view.
: '''Holiday:''' I can't track it, Rex. There's no sign of signal displacement or a nano disturbance. Maybe we should consider the possibility that this is psychological.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Pizza.
: '''Holiday:''' I think he's having another vision.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Of lunch?
: '''Rex:''' With pineapple and salmon.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Blech! He is nuts.
: '''Holiday:''' Aside from a strange choice in pizza toppings, all readings are normal. I can't explain it.
: '''Rex:''' Well, if my nanites are trying to get me to build something, maybe we should give them what they want.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Whatever it is, I'm not eating it. Is that my electric toothbrush?
: '''Rex:''' It better not be the one I've been using.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Oh.
: '''Rex:''' This is what I'm seeing in my head. As stupid as it looks. It's like someone or something is sending me instructions to build some big device.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Or build a pizza with pineapple and salmon.
: '''Rex:''' Okay. I'm not sure about that vision.
: '''Holiday:''' Is that my hairdryer?
: '''Rex:''' I just need to figure out what it does. Maybe it's a time machine. Or-- Or alien technology!
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Maybe it's just a big pile of junk. Or a way to order a really awful pizza.
: '''Contraption Voice:''' Target acquired.
: '''Holiday:''' Rex!
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Wake up!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Provindece Soldier #1:''' Hey, where do you think you're going? We've got a security breach. Front floor.
: '''Providence Soldier #2:''' Lockdown protocols enabled. All hands report to duty station. Security speed, take position.
: '''Rex:''' Sorry, guys. I might be a little... late.
: '''Caesar:''' Case compression. Release.
: '''Rex:''' Figures I'd build a machine with a serious attitude problem.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[taking off his helmet and turns to Rex]'' Rex, is that you?
: '''Rex:''' Who’s asking?
: '''Caesar:''' It’s me, Caesar, your brother! Mijo! ''[Hugs Rex]'' You're alive and... older. ''[Rex is dumbfounded]'' Uh. Atomic clock was right... ''[spanish accent]'' Es una problema grande.
: '''Rex:''' Uh, yeah. ''[Pushes Caesar]'' It is a big problem.
: '''Caesar:''' What is this place? Who are you people? ''[to Rex]'' I'm getting you out of here!
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Sorry, amigo. Put your hands up. Or don't. I got a clear shot either way.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[is looking at Bobo]'' A talking chimp?
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Don't bother. I've heard all the jokes.
: '''Caesar:''' Have they hurt you? Are you okay? Stand aside.
: '''Rex:''' Hello? Do I get a say in this?
: '''Holiday:''' If you're part of some elaborate plan to kidnap Rex, then you failed.
: '''Caesar:''' Listen, bonita, you don't wanna make me use this.
: '''Rex:''' ''[gets in between them]'' Enough! Normally around here when someone barges in talking crazy, they get around into the deck plates by my giant fists. But you seem legit. I'm going with him.
: '''Holiday:''' Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Okay, brother. Lead the way. So if you are my brother, where have you been all this time?
: '''Caesar:''' I'll explain later when we're safe.
: '''Rex:''' Uh, this is Providence. We are safe. Usually.
: '''Caesar:''' Providence? Never heard of it. To be honest, the last five years has been a bit of a blur.
: '''Rex:''' I want to believe you, but I'm gonna need some proof.
: '''Caesar:''' Your name is Rex Salazar. Our parents are Violetta and Raphael. The last time I saw you was at the Applied Nanite Research Lab in Abysus; right before those fools triggered a replication cycle.
: '''Rex:''' And I have total amnesia so, for all I know, that could be completely bogus.
: '''Caesar:''' There's a scar on the back of your left knee you got when you were seven, riding the gantry arm in the reactor annex.
: '''Rex:''' Hmm. I always wondered how I got that.
:''[they go out and Rex notices Caesar Salazar's pod laboratory]''
: '''Rex:''' Whoa. Nice wheels.
: '''Six:''' ''[Comes out and unsheathed his swords]'' Don't even think about it.
: ''[Caesar is about to attack but Rex stops him]''
: '''Rex:''' It's okay. Six isn't going to hurt you. Right, Six? You're comming in a little late on this, but, uh, this is Caesar, my brother, and he wants to get me out of here. So, let's just let my brother have his way and see where this all goes. Wherever you plan on going, they're going to follow us. You know that, right?
: '''Caesar:''' They can try.
: '''Rex:''' I don't know. Providence ship are pretty fast.
: '''Six:''' Track Rex's bio signature and find out who that guy really is.
: '''Rex:''' You ain't kidding. This thing moves fast. A-are we in the arctic?
: '''Caesar:''' How do you think I got to your location so quickly once the locator signaled me?
: '''Rex:''' Locator? You sent me the schematics to build that thing? It tried to crush me like a bug!
: '''Caesar:''' Sorry, mijo. I wasn't really trying to hurt. ''[scans Rex's body]'' I was looking for what's hiding inside of you. ''[showing Rex the result]'' The Omega One Nanite.
: '''Rex:''' That thing? Holiday discovered it before. We had no idea what it was.
: '''Caesar:''' I sent signal instructions for the Omega One to track and contain. But since the nanite has integrated into your DNA, you became the conduit for building the machine. What I don't get is how the Omega One got inside of you. Rylander was supposed to have that under lock and key.
: '''Rex:''' Rylander? He's the one who put it inside me.
: '''Caesar:''' Why would he do a thing like that? I'm really gonna have to let old fool have it when I see him.
: '''Rex:''' Not possible-- Courtesy of Van Kleiss.
: '''Caesar:''' Van Kleiss?! What does that third-rate lab hack have to do with this?
: '''Rex:''' What? I guess I’m not the only one who needs an update. Where have you been?
: '''Caesar:''' It's a long story-- actually, short by my clock. A splinter group had formed at the lab. They had other ideas about how the nanites would be used. We tried to stop them, and you were hurt. The only way to save your life was an infusion of nanites. It was risky, but it worked. We thought that'd be enough to stop the others, make them see the right path. But we were wrong. Mom and Dad were in the reactor. As for me, I managed to escape in my lab. But the shock wave, the same shock wave that probably blanked your memory.... also interfered with engine that powers this pod. I was stuck in sub-light drive.
: '''Rex:''' How long?
: '''Caesar:''' Fifteen minutes. That's how long it took me to reboot the system. But at the speed I was going, it was 5 years of your time. I knew there was an accident, but I had no idea how bad. My nanite sensors were off the charts. My 1st priority was to insure the OM-1 was safe. That was our promise. And here we are. So, what have I missed these past five years?
: '''Rex:''' Providence? We need to talk. They can wait.
: '''Caesar:''' So let me understand, there are EVOs and Van Kleiss claimed as their leader?
: '''Rex:''' Well, not for all of them, yet. I want to know about me, about our parents.
: '''Caesar:''' They were scientists. We lived all over the world. Things settled down when you came along. That was in Geneva.
: '''Rex:''' Wait a second. Are you saying I'm Swiss?
: ''Caesar:'' Not really. Mother was born in Mexico City. Father in Buenos Aires.
: '''Rex:''' And they're really... gone? ''[Caesar slowly nods sadly]''
: '''Rex:''' Um, where exactly did this ship take us?
: '''Caesar:''' What do you know?We're back at the original lab site.
: '''Rex:''' You mean the one in Abysus?
: '''Caesar:''' Is that a problem?
: '''Rex:''' I'd say just a small one. We should go, like now.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[typing]'' Hmm... Must be low on charge.  ''[walks out the door]'' We may be stuck, but on the bright side, I can take a look at some of these variegated organisms. ''[goes out]''
: '''Rex:''' Caesar! Wait!
: ''[outside and observing the EVOs]''
: '''Caesar:''' Fascinating. We theorized mutations might occur but never anything this random.
: ''[Rex hits the EVO before they got near Caesar]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Sorry, bro, but these guys--
: ''[Rex hits another EVO]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Usually don't sit still for questions.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[seeing Rex's new build]'' Hmm... That's new.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Guess I've learned a--
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' A few tricks. But they still won't be enough if Van Kleiss shows up with all his goons. Six!
: '''Six:'''We're locked onto you. The keep is already on its way.
: '''Rex:''' Your ship may be out of juice, but I'm not. Hop on. I can get us out of here.
: '''Caesar:''' I won't leave my lab, and you definitely don't want Van Kleiss getting his hands on some of the things in here. I'll try to reroute the capacitors to an alternate power source.
: '''Caesar:''' Oh, you wanna see a photo of you, me, and papi? Maybe later.
: '''Rex:''' You're a little off, aren't you, Caesar? 
: '''Biowulf:''' What was that machine it flew off with?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' A laboratory. One I thought I'd never see again. It seems an old friend has returned-Caesar.
: '''Rex:''' Providence isn't so bad now, eh, hermano?
: '''Caesar:''' Is this a Grinnell? They always made good consoles, except for the random power surges.
: '''Six:''' Well?
: '''Rex:''' Everything's cool. He's a little kooky, but I'm pretty sure he's my brother.
: '''Six:''' Glad to hear it. Now I need you back. We still have some unfinished business.
: '''Rex:''' Got to get back to work.
: '''Caesar:''' My little brother, the hero. I remember when you just wanted to be a musician.
: '''Rex:''' Guitar? No, wait drums.
: '''Caesar:''' Accordion.
: '''Rex:''' You got to be kidding me!
: '''Six:''' As I recall, you started it.
: '''Rex:''' Huh?
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Six:''' The EVO is dividing faster than we can contain it. The city is being evacuated.
: '''Caesar:''' Hmm. Excuse me, admiral. I need you to take me down there immediately. Afraid I'll have to insist.
: '''Six:''' Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Are you crazy?!
: '''Caesar:''' Depends on who you ask. I had something in my lab that I thought could help.
: '''Six:''' Help? You're not even supposed to be outside the keep.
: '''Rex:''' WHOO-HOO! Way to go, bro! First day on the job, and you already got a save!
: '''Six:''' Job?
: '''Rex:''' Oh, come on, admit it, Six. He just saved our chicharrones.
: ''[Caesar laughs]''
: '''Rex:''' What? What's so funny?
: '''Caesar:''' You always make me laugh when you try to speak Spanish.
: '''Holiday:''' We've pulled his records, and I've confirmes his DNA. It seems Rex really does have a brother.
: '''White Knight:''' If everything I've read about him is true, he could be an incredible asset to Providence.
: '''Six:''' Or a major liability.
: '''White Knight:''' All the more reason to keep him with us. Give him whatever he needs.
: '''Holiday:''' White's right, Six. He knows more about nanites than anyone on the planet. He helped invent them.
: '''Six:''' My point exactly. He's settling in?
: '''Rex:''' I guess so. Caesar's a little strange. Hard to believe he's actually my brother.
: '''Six:''' I'm happy for you, Rex. You always said you wanted to find your family.
: '''Rex:''' Thanks, but... You know that? I already did. Caesar may be my brother, but you, Holiday, Bobo, you're who I have a connection with.
: '''Bobo:''' Aww, now, see, I'm getting all misty.
: '''Caesar:''' There you are. Hmm. Nice view. Say, mijo, you think your cafeteria could whip up a pizza with pineapple and salmon? I've been craving one for days.
: '''Bobo:''' Connection, huh?

===Outpost===
:'''Valentina:''' Ugh! We were returning them to their natural habitat! What Providence does is wrong and against the natural order of things! You're a traitor to your own kind.
:'''Rex:''' That's creature's job is to ''exterminate'' mankind! It wanted to kill you!

===Haunted===
===Moonlighting===
===Without a Paddle===

===Written in Sand===
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, I need an uptade.
:'''Rex''': I'm right at the edge. Anything still alive in there is trying to get away from the sandstorm.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': It's not the storm they're running from. The nanites inside them are forcing the animals away. It's creating a kind of nanite-free zone.
:'''Rex''': Ha! We should call White Knight. Maybe he'll move here and leave us all alone.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': It's no laughing matter, Rex. It could be the most significant development since the original nanite event.
:'''Rex''': Yeah, yeah. Possible cures save the world-- Got it. I'll check it out.
:'''Bobo''': Hey, doc. You may wanna get a load of this over here.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Negative. The storm is moving in too fast. Just place a sensor and pack it in.
:'''Rex''': Hey. No. It couldn't be. Rex to base. We got trouble of the egomaniacal EVO kind.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Van Kleiss is here? Why am I not surprised?
:'''Rex''': I think the real question is, if everything else is in such a race to get out, why is he going on? 
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, wait.
:'''Rex''': Don't worry, doc. It's me. What could possibly happen?
:'''Skalamander''': RARGH! PTUH! They're nothing but dirt.
:'''Biowulf''': My senses-- Useless in all this sand.
:'''Van Kleiss''': This phenomenon deserves my personal attention. What we seek is nearby. I can feel it pushing against me.
:'''Rex''': ''[Rex emerges from the sand storm]'' Yeah?
:''[Skalamander grunts]''
:'''Rex''': ''[Rex kicks Skalamander]'' How about kicking against you, too?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Rex! You're not welcome here.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': Now, that hurt my feelings!
:''[Rex groaning]''
:''[Skalamander pins him to the sand, causing him to groan in pain]''
:''[Skalamander laughs]''
:'''Rex''': Aaah! Whoa!
:'''Van Kleiss''': If I never see your face again, It will be too soon!
:'''Rex''': Yeah? The feeling's-- Whoa! Mutual!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex? Rex, do you read me?
:''[Bobo coughing]''
:'''Bobo''': Okay, we gotta get outta here. I got sand in places I didn't even know I had places.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, if you can hear me, we're retreating to the safe zone. Rendezvous with us there.
:'''Rex''': AAAAH! WHOA-OHHHHHHH!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex coughs]''
:'''Rex''': Okay, Kleiss-- Go time! No EVO allies, just you and-- Whoa! Uh, sorry, buddy. Didn't mean to bring you along for the ride.
:'''Van Kleiss''': I don't need my EVO allies, when I can simply make more.
:'''Rex''': Don't get me wrong-- I love punching stuff. But anything you can do, I can undo better! We can do this all day. Or you can just spill it.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': Why are you causing this nanite-free zone?
:'''Van Kleiss''': How convenient it must be to make me the root of all evil. I'm not causing it. I've come to discover the source and destroy it.
:'''Rex''': This could be the cure to nanites.
:'''Van Kleiss''': And I live off nanites. What Providence calls a cure, I call death.
:'''Rex''': Really? Haven't we moved past this?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Huh?
:''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
:''[After Van Kleiss creates a scorpion EVO to attack Rex, it attacks him instead.]''
:'''Rex''': That is the funniest thing I have ever seen! Hang on-- I got to get this on video. ''[Takes out cell phone and starts recording Van Kleiss dodging the scorpion EVO.]''
:''[Van Kleiss panting]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Something's wrong. I should be controlling this creature.
:'''Rex''': Stinks to be you. Huh? You ruined my shot!
:'''Van Kleiss''': I believe we've found something more interesting.
:'''Rex''': You like to point out the obvious, don't you?
:'''Bobo''': Don't get me wrong-- I love the kid, but if we don't pull stakes now, we'll be combing dust outta all sorts of places for years.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Too late. Hold on to everything that's not tied down. This is going to be a bumpy... ride.
:'''Six''': Holiday? I trust you're all right?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': I'm fine, Six. But Rex is still out there-- With Van Kleiss. I can't reach him.
:'''Six''': We'll prep a rescue party. Prepare to come aboard.
:'''Rex''': Hey!
:'''Van Kleiss''': This is not simply a nanite-free zone. Something is stealing the nanites from our bodies. If we linger here too long, we may both find ourselves defenseless against the other.
:'''Rex''': Well, then, we'd better blow this joint. And when I say &quot;we&quot; I mean &quot;me&quot;.
:''[Rex tries to escape and fails]''
:'''Rex''': AAAAAAAAH!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': If either of us is to escape this place, we will have to work together.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': What exactly are you suggesting?
:'''Van Kleiss''': A temporary truce.
:'''Rex''': An extremely temporary truce.
:'''Van Kleiss''': We'll work our way to the center of the nanite storm.
:'''Rex''': No, we work our way out of the nanite storm and get Providence in here to figure out what's happening.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Providence? They can't be trusted.
:'''Rex''': Them? Didn't you try to take over New York? And Europe? And the world?
:'''Van Kleiss''': You need to listen to me, Rex. Without a powers, you're nothing but a child.
:'''Rex''': Oh, yeah? Truce over! Okay. This is awkward. Hey, is it just me, or are you getting really dust?
:'''Van Kleiss''': It's happening faster than I thought.
:'''Rex''': What's happening faster? If you know something, you'd better spit it out, or-- Whoa! It all looks fossilized. Like it's made completely out of... sand.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Not only are there no nanites here, this is pure silicone. There are no other elements-- No carbon, calcium, hydrogen. It appears that this zone not only destroys nanites, but is--
:'''Rex''': Squeezing the life from the Earth. This isn't sand. This is me!
:''[Rex whimpering]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': These glyphs-- There's something familiar about them. Sumatran? Mesopotamian?
:'''Rex''': Less geeking, more escaping!
:'''Van Kleiss''': We need to find the epicenter of this maze. These glyphs may hold the answer.
:'''Rex''': Only if one says &quot;exit sign.&quot;
:'''Van Kleiss''': No need to panic, Rex. We have at least twenty minutes before fossilization-- Give or take.
:'''Rex''': &quot;Don't panic&quot;-- Says the guy who used to be dirt.
:''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
:'''Rex''': We're turning into walking litter boxes, and you're checking out caveman graffiti? No wonder I'm always kicking your butt.
:'''Van Kleiss''': You don't have an investigative bone in your body, do you? So strongheaded-- Just like your mother. ''[Rex is silent]'' No, you don't like that, do you-- That I know more about you than you do?
:'''Rex''': Skip the head games. Isn't exactly a good time.
:'''Van Kleiss''': No, but perhaps it is time for some truth. We may perish down here, Rex. Ask me anything you want about the past, and I'll answer it.
:'''Rex''': ''[looks at his own slowly fossilizing body]'' Sell it somewhere else. I'm not buying.
:''[walks away]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Oh, so the great and powerful Providence has finally come through on their promise to help you remember your past.
:'''Rex''': Something better-- Someone who was actually there at the Nanite Event.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Aha. Your brother, Caesar.
:''[Van Kleiss chuckles evilly]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': I've been following you both very closely since his... miraculous reappearance. Even if you don't want to hear what I have to say, this one's for free. Do not place your trust in Caesar. He's not the man you believe him to be.
:'''Rex''': ''[creates his BFS and holds it at Van Kleiss' throat]'' What are you getting at?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Oh, no, no. That's not how this works. It isn't my turn. Quid pro quo, Rex. If you want to know more-- Why don't we start with something simple? Rylander's Omega Nanite. I know it's inside you.
:'''White Knight''': Status uptade?
:'''Six''': Still no fix on Rex. Scanners can't cut through the storm, so we're moving in to stage a recon.
:'''White Knight''': I will not risk everyone on board that ship for one agent. Not even that agent.
:''[Holiday subtly ends the call. Then to Six]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Whoops. Guess the satellite feed went down. Nasty sand.
:''[Six smirks]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Caesar? Wanted you to know we haven’t found him yet.
:'''Caesar''': Found who?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex.
:'''Caesar''': Right. Ah. Sorry. That was, uh, fifteen minutes ago. I've done about five hundred task since then. Try calibrating the keep's sensors to search for traces of Selenium. It's something Rex naturally gives off, like dandruff.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': I-- Really? Hmm. Okay, thanks.
:'''Van Kleiss''': So what you're saying is, the motor runs off of gravity and the only exhausts are atoms of selenium.
:'''Rex''': Now you. Squid Pro... Whatever. The nanites, the Event. What started all this?
:'''Van Kleiss''': He didn't tell you? I'm not surprised. It was Caesar.
:''[Rex pushes Van Kleiss to nearest wall and take out his BFS once again]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Wasteful, Rex.
:'''Rex''': You're lying!
:'''Van Kleiss''': Hardly. Your brother is responsible for the most significant catastrophe in human history. You have to admit that as brilliant as Caesar is, he's... not quite right. Am I telling you something that you haven't already noticed?
:''[Rex groans]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': HAAAH!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Van Kleiss coughing]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': You seem to have awoken some sort of defense mechanism.
:'''Rex''': What are they defending? Rocks?
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Before we're totally devoid of nanites, we need to end this now-- Together.
:'''Rex''': Back to back!
:'''Van Kleiss''': What?
:'''Rex''': Haven't you ever read a comic book? Back to back! No way. These markings-- They're not hieroglyphics. They're circuit boards. This whole cave, this valley-- It's one giant circuit board. These are data conduits-- Ms. Hubs!
:'''Van Kleiss''': You're right. These spirals are solid-state storage-- The standard design for a firewall in a CPU.
:'''Rex''': Did you just say I'm right? Now that I know what we're dealing with, it's a simple matter of-- Hacking in. This is malo-- Muy malo. Van Kleiss, meet the psycho computer who calls herself--
:'''Van Kleiss''': Zag-RS?
:'''Rex''': How do you know that? ''[Zag-RS notices them and attacks them]'' You know Zag-RS? How?
:'''Van Kleiss''': She was designed as a decontamination program at the original nanite laboratory. Her task was to destroy any rogue nanites that escaped from the holding tanks.
:'''Rex''': She did a great job. Whoever designed her should be taken out and beaten with a tendril.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Caesar designed her.
:'''Rex''': I'm gonna have to have a chat with my brother when this is over.
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Focus, you fool. If we're to survive this, we have to use whatever nanites we have left to shut her down.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': No problemo! Ah, come on! Stay up! Show off!
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': Well, this bites.
:''[Rex straining]''
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': Didn't I leave you in orbit? Shouldn't you have burned up in re-entry or something?
:'''Zag-RS''': Re-entry resulted in a hard desert landing. This unit faced complete system failure. Salvation came from integration with the host space station power cell, where new initiatives were established.
:'''Rex''': Turning the world into a sandbox?
:'''Zag-RS''': Correct. The prevention of organic infection by elimination of organic matter and securing the Earth core system. Soon, this world will function without flaw.
:'''Rex''': Van Kleiss! Change of plan! While, I've got Zaggy occupied, you go and warn Providence before it's too late!
:'''Van Kleiss''': There's no time. Her strength is growing exponentially. To achieve victory, you must trust me.
:'''Rex''': Trust you?! That's comedy gold! Even if I was that big of a doof, neither one of us had enough power to fight back!
:'''Van Kleiss''': That's not entirely true.
:'''Rex''': Huh?
:'''Van Kleiss''': I've not been completely honest with you.
:'''Rex''': Stunned-- Really.
:'''Van Kleiss''': The Omega Nanite within you has a self-replicating program. You can create your own nanites.
:'''Rex''': What?! Why didn't you tell me!
:'''Van Kleiss''': A calculated emission.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': No way.
:'''Van Kleiss''': There-- That is the heart of Zag-RS. Strike while you can!
:'''Rex''': Oh, yeah! Now we're talking! Normally, I don't fight girls, but this time I'll make... A big... giant... robot exception!
:'''Dr. Holiday''': I found him, Six-- twenty kilometers northeast. There's a huge spike in trace selenium.
:'''Six''': Charge all weapons.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': The storm's starting to break. But please don't crash.
:'''Rex''': YAAAH!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': That's not fair! It worked in the movie!
:''[Rex whimpers]''
:''[Rex groaning]''
:'''Rex''': AAAH!
:'''Zag-RS''': You have miscalculated, human. The more nanites you replicate, the more energy you supply me. 7.5 seconds until I overtake your production.
:''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
:'''Zag-RS''': 4.3 seconds.
:'''Van Kleiss''': AAAAAAAAAH!
:'''Rex''': YAAAAAAH! One psycho robot down, one supervillain to chicken! Finally!
:'''Bobo''': What, you never heard the term &quot;fashionably late&quot;?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Your nanite-replicating function seems to be working well. Most of Zag-RS' alterations have been expunged.
:'''Rex''': Meaning... What?
:'''Bobo''': You ain't gonna wash away at high tide.
:'''Caesar''': This is my design.
:'''Rex''': Great-- My brother created Zag-RS.
:'''Caesar''': Evidently. Though her evolution into some sort of sentient nanite-slayer is most curious.
:'''Six''': Curious?
:'''Rex''': What about what Van Kleiss said?
:'''Caesar''': You mean I'm to blame for the original nanite event? Why don't we ask her? Wait! Interface protocols. Code designate Zag-RS. Respond.
:'''Zag-RS''': Dr. Salazar. Good morning. How may I assist you?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Stand down, gentlemen. Zag-RS has been successfully rebooted. But her memory has been wiped clean.
:'''Rex''': What? You got to be kidding me!
:'''Caesar''': That's interesting. Hmm. Van Kleiss must have implemented a program dump before he left you. It's the only logical conclusion.
:'''Rex''': Program dump?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Do not place your trust in Caesar. He's not the man you believe him to be.
:'''Rex''': Great. So now all we've got is a lame decontamination program with a GPS lady's voice?
:'''Caesar''': GPS lady? Hardly.
:'''Rex:''' I was making a joke.
:'''Caesar''': Don't you recognize it? When I programmed her, I wanted a voice that meant safety, protection, caring. Rex, this is our mother's voice.
:'''Rex''': ''[shocked]'' Mama?

===Night Falls===
: '''Rex:''' If she's not really our grandmother, why are you calling her ''aubuela''?
: '''Caesar:''' There may not be a biological connection but she practically ran the entire town. When you were a boy, you spent every summer here.
: '''Rex:''' I wish I could remember...or any of this.
===Hard Target===
: '''Rex:''' &quot;It's Breach! She's-&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Messing with you, Rex. Did you actually see on her the other side?&quot;
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Well, no but...OK, why Hong Kong?&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Because it's on the other side of the world, because she's seriously messed up.&quot;
: '''Cricket:'''&quot; Kind of like our place.&quot; 
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Trust me. She's back in Abysus laughing it off with the rest of the Pack. Besides, I'm not that easy to find.&quot;
: (''Removes the white towel to reveal her shoulder-length black hair partly dyed a deep plum and having donned a dark gray overall dress'')
: '''Rex:''' &quot;OK, Rex. Bad intro. Take a do-over. Like the new look.&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Wow. A compliment.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Skywdd:''' &quot;And that's when Circe goes all [[w:Siren (mythology)|siren]] and blasts the bus driver's pants clean off.&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;Lucky shot. Hit the exact frequency of polyester.&quot;
:'''Tuck:''' &quot;Good thing his boxers were cotton.&quot;
:'''Rex''' (''uncomfortable'')''':''' &quot;Good one. Uh, Circe, remember when you took down that sea monster in Cabo Luna?&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;Please, Rex, I'd rather not remember that right now.&quot;
:'''Skywdd:''' Geez, Rex. Buzzkill.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Stop it.&quot;
:'''Skywdd:''' &quot;What's with him?&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;Breach lag. Let clean over his bedtime.&quot;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;That and my early morning snooze. By the way, you were right. Breach wasn't after you. She freed Quarry. Got this from the Providence security feed.&quot;
:'''Skywdd:''' &quot;Quarry?&quot;
:'''Tuck:''' &quot;He's lose?&quot;
:'''Cricket:''' &quot;Oh no.&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;You saw Breach and came back ''here!'' What if she followed you!?&quot;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Don't worry. If Breach were here, I'd feel it. She's here.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Breach:''' &quot;Hey, girlfriend.&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Get out of here, Breach!&quot;
: '''Breach:''' &quot;But Van Kleiss has so been wanting to chat.&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Then deliver a message for him! &quot;
: (''Uses her ultrasonic bursts on Breach, who creates a portal behind her, knocking her out with her own sonic abilities)''
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Let her go, Breach!!&quot;
: '''Breach:''' &quot;Oh, sorry, Rex. She's gonna save my skin. V.K.'s tough on failure, remember?&quot;
: (''Teleports away with an unconscious Circe on her shoulder'')
: '''Rex:''' &quot;NO!!&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Hold that thought. You can come out now. I got that creeped out feeling.&quot;
:'''Breach:''' &quot;Peek a boo.&quot;
: '''Skwydd:''' &quot;It's her!'' She took Circe.&quot;
: '''Rex:''' But not to Van Kleiss. You never went to Abysus, did you? You slipped her into your little pocket dimension. Let her go, Breach!
: '''Breach:''' And I agree to that...why?
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Because you wouldn't want Van Kleiss to see this. I'm thinking a trade is in order.&quot;
: (''Breach releases Circe, who is caught by Skwydd'')
: '''Circe:''' &quot;I hate you, Breach.&quot;

===A Family Holiday===
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' The pace of study has been staggeringly slow. There have been no significant advancements in nanite research since the original event. Simply put, Providence is not doing enough. What is required is not a military response, but a serious, thoughtful reaction, a scientific answer. The poor and afflicted deserve more. The world, deserves more. Let me introduce Diane. Mother of three. Diane has been diagnosed as incurable, a lost cause. Since then, she's been treated like an animal, locked away from her family... No hope on the horizon. Until now. At Moses Labs, we don't rely on tanks, guns, or secret weapons-- Only an unwavering belief that whatever science breaks, science can fix. Welcome back, Diane.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Happy birthday, little sister.
:'''Rex:''' Hope that I paid the bills. This is going to be expensive.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Caesar:''' Release the hounds.
:''[a door opens revealing some Evo hounds]''
:'''Rex:''' Huh? Whoa!
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Heh! I thought that was just a figure of speech. You're a sick puppy.
:'''Rex:''' Aah! Not cool, bro!
:''[Rex panting]''
:'''Rex:''' ''[Spanish accent]'' Agua, por favor.
:'''Caesar:''' Water second, probes first.
:'''Rex:''' No offense, but being a guinea pig is a lot less fun when it's you instead of Holiday.
:'''Caesar:''' Don't I run the biometric tests with the same efficiency?
:'''Rex:''' How are we related? Have you looked at Holiday?
:'''Bobo Haha:''' She ain't my species and even I know she's a hottie.
:'''Caesar:''' She is... very smart.
:'''Rex:''' Where is the Doc anyway? She usually can't wait to get her hands on me.
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Saw her this morning, looking pretty grim.
:'''Agent Six:''' It's her sister. Her sister's birthday to be precise. Holiday gets introspective this time of year.
:'''Caesar:''' Her sister? Oh, is she smart too?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hey guys. Can't talk. Hangar!
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Ah, human dames. I don't know how you guys keep up.
:''[Dr. Holiday pants]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Thank you for coming, Dr. Moses. It's a genuine honor.
:'''Rex:''' Who the heck is that guy? Why is Holiday acting all fangirl around him?
:'''Caesar:''' It's Dr. Brandon Moses, the leading researcher in technogenic transmorphing! If anyone's going to develop a kill  for EVOs, it's going to be him!
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Now, that's actin' fan-girl.
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Not the worst I've seen.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Can you help her?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Beverly would be an excellent candidate for my treatments. Have her transported to my facility.
:'''Rex:''' Hold up! I know you have a bunch of letters after your name, but curing EVOs is what I do. Some of them--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Some you just can't handle, Rex. Dr. Moses' research goes to places you don't, so if you don't mind-- 10 minutes, then we'll be in the air. Thank you, doctor. I've earned 5 years' worth of personal time, Knight. I plan to use it all. 
:'''White Knight:''' I don't like it, but I like your sister even less. Go for your &quot;cure&quot;, Holiday. But if it doesn't work, don't bring her back.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Agent Six:''' What do you really know about Dr. Moses?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I know what I saw.
:'''Agent Six:''' You're not taking her to the doctor for a checkup. Has he handed you supporting data?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Why won't you let me have this? It's the first glimmer of hope I've had since Rex got here.
:'''Agent Six''': I think you've lost your objectivity. If you can't help her--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That's the point! I can't! I need this cure. If you won't help me, stay out of my way!
:'''Rex:''' Any chance she's right?
:'''Agent Six:''' Hope she is.
:'''Rex:''' But we're not going to sit around and do nothing in case she's wrong, right? Today you're my sidekick-- Not a fashion-challenged soccer mom blocking my mojo. If there's any chance of playing hero for Holiday, I call dibs.
:'''Security guard:''' Dr. Moses' inventions are not for public viewing-- Especially not by Providence.
:''[Security guard grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' That &quot;soccer mom&quot; comment really got to you, huh? When did science geeks start packing heat? Huh?
:'''Agent Six:''' Check the machine.
:'''Rex:''' I'm no engineer, but as far as I can tell, all this thing does is light up and go &quot;ping&quot;. They never cured it! This was a scam!
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday's in trouble. Holiday, Moses is a fraud. There is no cure!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' What's going on here? Moses, what is this?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Business, Dr. Holiday-- Big business. Now, if you wouldn't mind stepping aside so I can collect your sister--
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday?! What's happening?!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Or don't step aside. I'm good either way.
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday! We've got our coordinates. Go!
:'''Rex:''' It's a hundred miles away!
:'''Agent Six:''' Correct.
:'''Rex:''' Hold on to your swords, old man!
:''[Dr. Holiday grunts]:''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I trusted you!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' A bad trait, a scientist. But look on the bright side-- You won't be locked in a cell anymore. That was just... Shameful.
:'''Rex:''' Be the hero. Be the hero. Be the--
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' ...Zero. You'll be a lot less grouchy in a few seconds, pal. Half cured? That's new.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' They've got Beverly.
:'''Rex:''' You wanna talk to her?
:'''Agent Six:''' Now's not the time.
:'''Rex:''' And when exactly is. She needs a friend, Six.
:'''Agent Six:''' I... prefer to keep it professional. Keeps people from getting hurt.
:'''Rex:''' Dude. Take off the sunglasses. She's already hurting. If I were you--
:''[Six gets a radio signal]''
:'''Agent Six:''' If you were me, you'd have a lead. Get Holiday. Dust off in 3.
:'''Rex:''' Where are we going?
:'''Agent Six:''' Moses may be a genius but not because he can cure EVOs. He overpowers them-- Hypercharges the nanites with excess energy to push their transformations.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That's why Rex only partially cured that EVO he stripped the EVO of its extra power. But at its core, it was still incurable.
:'''Rex:''' We learned something new today. Great.
:'''Agent Six:''' Gets worse. Moses has turned his tech into a cottage industry. He takes incurables and weaponizes them to sell to the highest bidder.
:'''Rex:''' Don't sugarcoat it, Six.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' How did you find this out?
:'''Agent Six:''' I called some former associates-- People who know things, things that good people shouldn't know about.
:'''White Knight:''' Question-- Why is my keep on an unapproved mission?
:'''Rex:''' It's cool, Knight. We're helping Holiday.
:'''White Knight:''' No! We had a deal! Return to base immediately!
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's over guys. I can't drag you down because of my mistake. I won't.
:'''Agent Six:''' Keep returning to base.
:''[Knight ends the transmission]''
:'''Agent Six:''' I said the keep is returning to base. I didn't say we'd be on the keep.
:'''Rex:''' You okay?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hanging in there.
:'''Rex:''' Hanging in there is good. I don't like to see you unhappy, you know. I-I mean--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I know what you mean. Thanks.
:'''Agent Six:''' Better luck next time.
:''[Rex gasps]''
:'''Rex:''' Jealous much, sidekick?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Who is that?
:'''Rex:''' Someone who knows things good people shouldn't.
:'''Five:''' Machine boy! Like the new ax? You owe me for the last one.
:'''Agent Six:''' We'll talk music later, Five. You have word on Moses?
:'''Five:''' Five don't lie. Your guy is running an auction-- Tonight.
:'''Agent Six:''' I owe you.
:'''Five:''' She's a lot more beautiful than you let on, Six. Try not to screw it up this time.
:'''Agent Six:''' You coming?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' The EVO is the military ordinance of the future. We all know it. You drop one of these babies into your neighbor's backyard, and it's game over. But to get the most annihilation out of your nanites... you need me.
:'''Human EVO:''' You promised to cure!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' My technology not only amps up their abilities, but, for an extra charge, will modify their behavior to suit your needs. What am I bid for this army of one?
:'''Agent Six:''' ''[Bursting in]'' I'll open with extradition for crimes against humanity!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' ''[to his bidders]'' Wait! This is just a minor disturbance.
:''[Moses groans]''
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' ''[to Holiday]'' Do you know what you just cost me, all for one hopless wreck?!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Holiday hits Moses]'' Her name is Beverly.
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Then give sissy a hug.
:'''Dr Holiday:''' No! Don't hurt her, Rex!
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, sure. Handle with care. Whoa! Can you tell her that, too?
:'''Agent Six:''' Going nowhere?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Uh, let's not be ''[chuckling]'' rash.
:''[Holiday slaps Moses]''
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' I'm gonna have to get you a dictionary. Rash will not help anyone, especially not Beverly.
:''[Holiday grabs Moses]''
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Who can still be cured.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Holiday drops Moses]'' What?
:'''Agent Six:''' ''[Brandishing his swords]'' No games. Truth or dead.
:'''Rex:''' Fight still going! Need assistance! Big time! Whoa!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' I did invent a machine that de-powered nanites, almost. But the bonds and nanite particles were too strong to break. Instead, I discovered that I could reverse the polarity to its maximum, overpowering the nanites. It's easier and-- Profitable.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' But you did isolate the bonds? So, you can break them!
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa! Ugh! Unh! Okay, I called hero, but I need some extra kick for my sidekick! Unh! Seriously!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Time to earn a return on my investments! Kill them all!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa! Whoa! 
:'''White Knight:''' I won't even bother telling you the trouble you're in. Catch those other EVOs and report to my office the moment you're back.
:'''Rex:''' What other EVO-O-O-O-Os?
:''[Rex turns around and notices the EVOs behind him]''
:'''Rex:''' Ooos?
:'''Rex:''' Think they got it?
:'''Agent Six:''' They'd better. We're busy.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Unh! Okay. That's the flux transponder. That's the nanite energizer. Don't you explode on me-- Not now. Aah!
:'''Rex:''' I'll hand the one crazed sister. You take the other. It'll be like a double date. Don't bother... your sister... while she's working!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I can see what he did, but... uh... there's no time! I can't-- I can't help her! It's over.
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday-- Rebecca-- You are the strongest, smartest woman I have ever met, and the most stubborn.
:''[Six removes his glasses and looks her in the eyes]''
:'''Agent Six:''' You never give up. If there's a way to help your sister, find it-- now!
:''[Slight pause. Holiday smiles and puts Six's glasses back on his face then leaves]''
:'''Agent Six:''' That's my girl. New plan. Corral her to the machine.
:'''Rex:''' Plans are good! Yah! What you got, Doc?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Moses was right. The polarity of the nanite energizer is wrong! I have to amplify and reverse it. But I don't have-- Six... Your magna blades-- But it would be too dangerous. Six!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six!
:'''Agent Six:''' Is it working?
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's working.
:'''Rex:''' Six, get out of there!
:'''Agent Six:''' You called hero on this one, Rex! Finish it-- For her! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Unh! Get them out, Rex-- Both of them-- Now!
:''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
:'''Rex:''' Doc! You gotta see this!
:''[Dr. Holiday panting]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[as she's trying to revive Six]'' Don't you do this to me! I will hate you forever if you--
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:''[Six coughs]''
:'''Beverly:''' Rebecca?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Beverly!
:'''Rex:''' That was... I'm... Wow! Six, I've never said it before and I'll probably never say it again, but... I'm honored to be your partner.
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Mushy stuff? Oh! Glad I missed it.
:'''Rex:''' But don't ever do anything like that again.
:'''Agent Six:''' Agreed. But you have to admit though... It was worth it.
:''[Dr. Holiday and Beverly laughs]''
:'''White Knight:''' We're not running a boarding house here. No more relatives.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I just need her for a few more tests, sir. She was only 13 when she went Evo, and she's in a fragile state.
:'''Beverly:''' Woo Hoo!
:''[Beverly laughing]''
:'''Beverly:''' Rex just took me on a ride through the Zoo on his cycle.
:'''White Knight:''' &quot;Fragile.&quot; Right.
:'''Rex:''' We're going to the mall.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Are you asking permission?
:'''Rex:''' No. I'm asking if we can have some money. Providence pays me nada.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Can I have a word with you?
:'''Agent Six:''' Sure this is a good idea? Could ruin your hero status with Holiday.
:'''Rex:''' It's funny. After meeting Bev, out of nowhere, it hit me that Doc Holiday is just a little too old for me. So, since I'm out of the way, I guess there's nothing stopping you anymore, huh, &quot;hero&quot;?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Well... right. I guess... I'll set up those tests.
:''[Holiday starts to walk past Six. Six takes a hold of her hand]''
:'''Agent Six:''' Or... we could get some dinner.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Outside? In the real world? Like real people? Like a--
:'''Agent Six:''' Yes. Like a date.
:''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's about time.

===Hong Kong Nights===

===Whispers in the Dark===
===Cutting It Close===

===Exposed===
:'''White Knight''': All Providence personnel, this is a priority-one alert.
:'''Agent Six''': Do not panic. Remember your training.
:'''White Knight''': In all my years of working at Providence, never have I been put in such a situation. These interlopes could be anywhere at any given moment.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Hey, what's all the-- Whoa! Sorry. We're late.
:'''Bobo Haha''': You can't prove a thing!
:'''White Knight''': Watch what you say. Watch what you do. The very future of Providence may depend upon it.
:'''Rex Salazar''': So, what's going on? Van Kleiss attack in the HQ again?
:'''Agent Six''': Worse.
:'''Diane Farrah:''' I'm Diane Farrah, and for the first time ever, we've got an exclusive all-access pass inside the top-secret organization known as Providence. To uncover for our viewers, all the juiciest behind-the-scenes details of this most secret of institutions. And to find out the real story behind that man of mystery you've all wondered about for so long.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Aah.
:'''Diane Farrah''': All your questions are about to be answered. Welcome to Providence Exposed! ''[Camera closes-up on her face]'' On Ultimate Exposure! And cut. Great into, guys. Okay, moving on.
:'''Rex Salazar''': This is cool.
:'''Agent Six''': This is wrong.
:'''Rex Salazar''': How's my hair?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Delicious.
:'''White Knight''': Ladies and gentlemen, the delightful Miss Farrah and her crew have used the Freedom of Information Act to force.
:''[White Knight clears his throat]''
:'''White Knight''': To allow them access to a day in the life of Providence. And to ensure you are afforded the very best Providence has to offer, I'm assigning our top man as your personal guide.
:''[Rex moves towards the news team]''
:'''White Knight''': Six, please show Miss Farrah whatever she wants to see.
:'''Agent Six''': Agent Six is the name. On behalf of Providence, I'd like to welcome you to our facility.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Spare me the small talk. I'm here to ask the tough questions, and I expect truthful answers.
:'''Agent Six''': Shoot.
:'''Diane Farrah''': So.. is there a Mrs. Six?
:''[Combs her hair]''
:'''Bobo Haha''': Smooth.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Like you'd have done better.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Are you kidding? They want exposed. I'm going to give that reporter a piece of my mind and a few other pieces while I'm at it. I got stories that'll make them run screaming for the hills.
:''[Bobo Haha laughs]''
:'''Agent Six''': If you'll follow me, I'll be happy to show you one of our nanite research labs up close and personal. EVO control is our primary area of concentration, but Providence is focused on a great many studies. Each employing the best and the brightest our planet has to offer.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Thanks, Six. You know, this is my brother's lab. He's only like the smartest guy in the entire world. Yeah, being the best at what we do totally runs in our family.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Not a good time.
:'''Agent Six''': That experiment is highly sensitive.
:'''Diane Farrah''': So, Agent Six, how did you become a Providence agent?
:'''Agent Six''': That's also highly sensitive.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Amazing story though about how I became a Providence agent. See, there was this big accident.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Good morning. My name is Dr. Rebecca Holiday, And I'm the chief research officer for the Providence Laboratory Facilities - specializing in the study of evology. Providence's number one priority is the security of our planet. And through the studying and understanding the forces that threaten us--
:'''Diane Farrah''': Let's cut to the chase, shall we, doctor?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Oh, um, okay.
:'''Diane Farrah''': How do you balance the threat of EVOs, the constant danger... with being a woman?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Uh.
:''[Dr. Holiday laughs nervously]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Oh, excuse me.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Speaking of studying, check this out. You can edit that, right?
:'''Diane Farrah''': We're all about the editing.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, maybe you could show these journalists some of your other duties, like what you're supposed to be doing right now, for instance.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, man. That's right. Come on. You're going to love this.
:'''Diane Farrah''': EVOs come from far and wide for a chance to be cured by this young man. How often do you do this?
:'''Rex Salazar''': At least once a week here at HQ. When I'm in other parts of the county or the world, Providence sets up a mobile cure station. There are a lot of people out there who need my help. I only wish I could get to them all. Wait. Um, let my try again. ''[after Rex can't cure an EVO]'' Shut it off.
:'''Diane Farrah''': But this is really good drama, Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I asked to be on TV. They didn't. Please give these people their privacy.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Come on, buddy. Everybody has an off day.
:'''Rex Salazar''': In front of millions of viewers? So much for everyone's favorite Providence man of mystery.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Well, they're just lucky they haven't had the camera on me yet. Oh man, talk about Ultimate Exposure. When I get through with them--
:'''Rex Salazar''': I just wish I could look cool on camera somehow.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Phbt! Good luck. The only way that's going to happen now is if some experimental EVOs busted out of their cages and went on a rampage so you could round them up and look like a hero.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Providence isn't known for being forthcoming with information. I hope this interview will change that. The people want answers and I fully expect them from you.
:'''White Knight''': Very well. What do you want to know?
:'''Diane Farrah''': For starters, how do you get fresh milk without any nanites in it?
:'''White Knight''': If you must know, it's passed through a powerful magnet that removes and neutralizes any nanite activity.
:'''Agent Six''': Observe.
:''[White Knight smacks lips]''
:'''White Knight''': Anything else?
:'''Diane Farrah''': Not at the moment, but I'll be back.
:'''White Knight''': I look forward to it.
:''[White Knight sips]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': So, Agent Six, what do you think about White Knight's obsession with staying nanite-free at the expense of human contact?
:'''Agent Six''': He's a man of many mysteries.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Look out! Coming through! Dangerous escaped EVOs on the loose! Stand back! Let a professional handle this!
:'''Diane Farrah''': Follow him.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Yeah, I'm kind of awesome.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Did you get them all?
:'''Rex Salazar''': How many did you release?
:'''Bobo Haha''': I don't know, three or four.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, which was it? Three or four?
:''[Rex Salazar gasps]''
:'''Agent Six''': Well then. Now that Rex's little demonstration is over, how about a visit to the Providence gift shop? On me.
:'''Diane Farrah''': How long has Providence had a gift shop?
:'''Agent Six''': Since 8:00 A.M. You want to tell me how a class by EVO got out of its electromagnetically-sealed container and just happened to cross paths with our tour?
:'''Rex Salazar''': It's not like this kind of thing doesn't happen here all the time. I just wanted it to happen this time, in front of the camera, all right?
:'''Agent Six''': Not all right. That last EVO-- You just helped it molt so it could grow. Its body is still out there somewhere, getting bigger.
:'''White Knight''': Providence is run like a finely tuned machine. Until you decide to throw a monkey wrench into the works.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Hey, pal, let's leave the comedy to me.
:'''White Knight''': And how is it exactly that these EVOs got out?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Okay, Mea Culpa. I may have accidentally knocked open a cage or two-- Or four.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': That fourth cage was electromagnetically sealed.
:'''Bobo Haha''': I didn't say it was easy.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': The EVO we had contained in there feeds on electricity. It must be kept away from any electrical current.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Then it sure is a good thing this whole place isn't full of electricity. Oh, wait.
:'''White Knight''': Find it. Subdue it. And most importantly, don't let that camera crew see it.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Eh, were wastin' time hunting this thing down when I could be on camera right now, giving those people a piece of my mind.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Hey, I only saw the EVOs empty husk before. What's the real thing look like anyway? Huh?
:'''Bobo Haha''': That.
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:''[Rex Salazar grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Any suggestions?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Can you make a soccer net?
:''[Rex Salazar and Bobo Haha grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Aha! Got you cornered now. There's no way out. You're overpowered.
:'''Bobo Haha''': You were saying?
:'''Agent Six''': You wanted to interview me. Now's your chance. Go.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Um... okay. Tell me, Six-- May I call you Six?-- What is the real truth behind the nanite event that created the EVOs?
:'''Agent Six''': That's classified.
:'''Diane Farrah''': What is your role, if any, in that event?
:'''Agent Six''': That's classified, too.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Are you always this talkative?
:'''Agent Six''': No comment.
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Wait. Let me do that again. You didn't get my good side. Which is my good side?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Your backside.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Agent Six, you promised you were taking us to the heart of the operation.
:'''Agent Six''': Right. The heart of the operation. This way.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': [Watching from a monitor] It went right.
:''[Rex goes to his right. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Camera right!
:''[Rex goes to the camera's right]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': How can you miss it now? It's six feet in diameter and weighs five hundred pounds!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Less criticizing, more helping!
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Try to steer it in the direction of Hallway twelve. We can isolate it in the atrium.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, we've got it contained there now.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': No, sorry. I was reading that backwards. Hallway twenty one.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, Hallway twenty one leads to the central core!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, so, no big deal. That's a cold-fission reactor, not electric, right?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, all electricity is converted from something-- Wind, solar, hydro-- At the central core!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Ohh.
:''[Providence Agent screams]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Uh-hoh.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, listen carefully and do exactly as I say because we're only going to get one shot at this.
:'''Diane Farrah''': One shot at what, doctor?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': The... future. Providence is the future. The future used to be the space program. Now the future is Providence and the science of EVOs.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Doc? Are you still there? We have a situation.
:'''Agent Six''': Just a minor downgrade of power during a routine relay check. Nothing to worry about.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Guys, I could really use some advice right about now!
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''White Knight''': Attention all Providence Personnel, we have a Level-One Priority...
:''[Realizes the reporters are present]''
:'''White Knight''': Drill. Repeat-- This is our daily drill in the Central Core-- Now.
:'''Agent Six''': Lunch bell. It's taco day. Anyone hungry?
:'''Diane Farrah''': Agent Six, while we appreciate the commemorative spoons and the tacos, I can't help but think that you've been hiding something from our viewers.
:'''Agent Six''': Not at all, ma'am. Providence is an open book.
:''[Rex Salazar screams]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': Cut! You're ruining the shot, Rex. Just be patient. I will get to you-- I promise.
:''[Rex Salazar groans]''
:'''Agent Six''': Get down.
:''[Diane Farrah gasps]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': That was... what you did.
:'''Agent Six''': Just doing my job, ma'am.
:'''Rex Salazar''': And I'm just doing mine!
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': You're not going anywhere now, buddy, except back to your-- Cage?
:'''White Knight''': We hope that you and the Ultimate Exposure team are enjoying our EVO containment demonstration, Miss Farrah. All part of readiness training here at Providence.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Can I quote you on that?
:'''White Knight''': Miss Farah, I'm not gonna stop you from filming, but for your own safety and the safety of your crew, please step back and let my people do what they do best. Alpha Team, I need a containment of the cafeteria, cube formation. Fire! Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm on it.
:'''Agent Six''': Stay here. This is the real deal.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Not on your life. Find an elevator. We're missing it.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Still not a good ti-i-i-i-i-me!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, big boy. No more crawl spaces. No more Hallways. Just you and me in a big, old hangar bay mano y mano.
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Huh?
:'''Bobo Haha''': ''[after Rex has been repeatedly beaten back by the Evo]'' Looks like you showed him.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Are you going to talk, or are you going to help?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Talk. Kidding! I'm helping! I'm helping!
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:''[Rex Salazar groaning]''
:''[Rex Salazar groaning]''
:''[Rex Salazar sighs]''
:''[Rex Salazar groaning]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': Please tell me you're getting all of this.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Providence's man of mystery strikes again. Ow! It-- it bit me!
:'''Diane Farrah''': Quick, grab some B-roll footage before they get rid of all the evidence.
:'''Rex Salazar''': You did see that I did all the heavy lifting and Six just took out the trash, right?
:'''Diane Farah''': Don't worry. The camera never lies.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Yes!
:'''Bobo Haha''': Good! Then get a load of this!
:'''Diane Farah''': Do you have something to say?
:''[Camera zooms in on Bobo]''
:'''Bobo Haha''': Oh... oh.
:''[Bobo mutters then passes out]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': I think we have everything we need.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I don't know how you guys came off looking, but yours truly rocked hard. Just call me Providence's Man of Mystery from now on. Oh, yeah! Stardom starts in five, four, three, two--
:'''Diane Farrah''': I'm Diane Farrah, and for the first time ever, we've got an exclusive all-access pass inside the top-secret organization known as Providence. To uncover for our viewers, all the juiciest behind-the-scenes details of this most secret of institutions.
:'''Rex Salazar''': We are so dead.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Nice knowing you, kid.
:'''Diane Farrah''': To find out the real story behind that man of mystery you've all wondered about for so long.
:'''Agent Six''': Agent Six is the name.
:'''Rex Salazar''': They did it.
:'''Bobo Haha''': They did.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': This is a news show? What is the world coming to?
:'''Diane Farrah''': Look out, ladies. Agent Six is the full package -- brains, brawn, and--
:'''Agent Six''': Highly sensitive.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Just what is he hiding behind those alluring, dark glasses of his?
:'''Agent Six''': That's classified.
:'''Diane Farrah''': He's the Providence agent you women wanted to get to know.
:'''Agent Six''': Up close and personal.
:'''Diane Farrah''': That's right, girls.
:'''Agent Six''': He's The real deal.
:'''Diane Farrah''': And he's known throughout Providence as--
:'''Agent Six''': The heart of the operation.
:'''Diane Farrah''': He's the organization's best-kept secret, the ultimate agent, and--
:'''Agent Six''': The man of many mysteries.
:'''Diane Farrah''': And, yes, ladies, he is single -- or is he?
:''[Dr. Holiday laughs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Excuse me.
:'''Agent Six''': No comment.
:''[Rex and Bobo Haha laughs]''
:'''White Knight''': Well, that's a relief.
:'''Rex Salazar''': ''[after the story airs]'' So, man of mystery, what's it like being a big star adored by women everywhere?
:'''Agent Six''': No comment.

===Touch and Go===
===The Siren's Lament===
* Flashbacks as to how Circe came to work for Van Kleiss.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Grounded===
===Six Minus Six===
===In Dreams===

===Lions and Lambs===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:''[Providence agents are standing in an industrial area, fingers on triggers. Rex flies in on jet pack and lands beside all the agents.]''
:'''Rex:''' Any sign? ''[Rex notices agents shaking in fear.]'' Alright then, who’s up for a burger, anyone? Tough crowd.
:''[Six walks up.]''
:'''Six:'''	These agents seem nervous. Haven’t they dealt with this situation before?
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, that's kind of the problem.
:''[Rex twitches, as if he is feeling Breach's presence.]''
:'''Providence Agent:''' Here she comes.
:''[Breach appears in front of them. They fire at her. She sends their missiles and agents away with red portals.]''
:'''Six:'''	How do we stop her?
:'''Rex:'''	''[Smack Hands.]'' Hit hard and keep clear of anything that glows.
:''[Breach has a collar around her neck like the one Van Kleiss wears, and a device on her chest like his only much larger and shackles are around her giant hands which look like Van Kleiss's bio-mechanical wrist. She opens a red portal. A giant jellyfish-like thing flies out at Six, then a large creature with a horn on its nose runs out. Rex jumps at Breach, she portals out, returns and the device on her chest starts sparking.]''
:'''Rex:'''	What's with the new toy, Breach?
:'''Breach:'''	''[Glares]'' Wouldn’t you like to know?
:''[T-Rex appears through a gold colored portal, sniffs Rex.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Seriously, where do you find these things? Let's see what you started out as, big guy. ''[Tries to cure.] Six? This... this isn't an EVO!'' It's an actual T-Rex! ...Six?
:''[Rex runs from T-Rex.]''
:'''Breach:'''	Have fun. ''[Leaves through red portal.]''
:''[Rex hides behind light pole, T-Rex pulls pole from ground, Rex falls to the ground.]''
:'''Six:'''	I take it this sort of thing doesn't happen all the time?
:'''Rex:''' Try never? This is all kinds of wrong.
:''[Rex makes BFS, runs at T-Rex; Six runs at T-Rex, jumps on and stabs it in back.]''
:'''Holiday:'''	Is that what I think it is?
:'''Six:''' You mean about to be extinct?
:'''Holiday:''' If you destroy the scientific find of a lifetime, it won’t be the only thing.
:'''Rex:'''	It's trying to eat us.
:'''Six:'''	You heard the lady. Take it down soft.
:'''Rex:'''	Easy for you to say.
:''[Rex lies on the ground holding the jaws open with Smack Hands and it slobbers on him.]''
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Video of T-Rex in confinement field. The T-Rex turns to dust.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Breach is powerful enough as it is, and now you're telling me she can travel through time?
:'''Holiday:'''	However she's doing it, I haven't worked out all the kinks yet. That dinosaur reverted to its actual age about less than two hours after arrival.
:'''Caesar:'''	Photo and deep scan analysis reveals some very interesting technology at work here. Van Kleiss has really stepped up his game.
:'''White Knight:''' Skip the fan talk. How do we stop it?
:'''Caesar:'''	Until I get my hands on the device, I'm not certain we can.
:'''White Knight:''' We have to bring her to our side.
:'''Rex:'''	The only way she's coming here is if she does it willingly.
:'''White Knight:''' How do you propose we persuade her?
:'''Rex:'''	With me. ''[Six and Holiday stare at him skeptically.]'' I can be very convincing. Okay, okay. I think she might still have a thing for me.
:'''Bobo:''' Atta boy, work it on the crazy chick.
:'''White Knight:''' I don't care how we do it as long as we get results. Providence is under the microscope. It is the worst time for Van Kleiss to gain the upper hand. Get to it. Bring her in.
:''[Six and Holiday walking out of the room together down the hall.]''
:'''Six:''' ''[To Holiday.]'' I need a word. Something's wrong with White.
:'''Holiday:'''	Oh. That. He’s always like this, Six.
:'''Six:'''	No. This is different. I know when something is bothering him. The secret meetings, the anxiety. He’s up to something.
:'''Holiday:'''	I'll see what I can find out.
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Rex on hoverboard, in Providence stealth suit.]''
:'''Rex:'''	WHOO-HOO! Works pretty good. After all, I built it. ''[Loses control of board for a moment.]''
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Van Kleiss's castle, Rex hiding by entrance.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Going in. ''[Pulls up stealth mask, disappears partly, runs past guard.]''
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Breach is hooked up to a large machine. Van Kleiss stands before her with a huge bank of controls and displays, spooky dark lighting. She screams.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' This is unacceptable, Breach. I need you to concentrate.
:'''Breach:''' It hurts.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Think of what I'm trying to achieve here. I cannot fail.
:''[Breach screams in agony and collapses.]''
:''[Rex looks down horrified, Van Kleiss grins, Breach screams and falls down.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I'll return when it recharges and we'll start again.
:''[Rex holds his hand out to her.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Why do you let him do this to you?
:'''Breach:''' Glory.
:'''Rex:'''	Van Kleiss's glory. Is he even noticing how you're tearing yourself apart for him? Have you ever heard him say thank you? What do you say we blow this joint, you and me? He's hurting you.
:'''Breach:'''	It's not real. It can't hurt you if it isn't real.
:'''Rex:'''	Breach, look at me. It is. I'm real, all of this is real. You don't have to live this way.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Why am I not surprised. Rex has come to rescue another of my lost sheep. Perhaps he'll try to save you next, Biowulf.
:'''Rex:'''	That depends. Is he housebroken yet?
:'''Biowulf:'''	I am no traitor.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	You’ve no doubt seen our little experiment. Breach shows great promise. She just needs a little fine tuning.
:'''Rex:'''	Then what? Go back in time and be king of the cavemen?
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Why not? It wouldn’t be much of a step down, now would it? Breach, if you would, remove our guest so we can continue. Practice makes perfect, or in your case, acceptable.
:''[Breach makes a red portal.]''
:'''Rex:''' Breach! Think about what you're doing.
:''[Van Kleiss grins, she runs and puts her arms around Rex, portals out with Rex.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Find her. Now.
:''[Mountains, snow, Rex shivering.]''
:'''Rex:'''	I'm glad you got us out of there, but where... are we?
:'''Breach:'''	When the snow is gone you can see forever.
:'''Rex:''' That's nice. Can we go now?
:'''Breach:''' I need to know if I can trust you.
:'''Rex:'''	You can trust me. I swear.
:''[Breach grabs his hand and hugs him. He opens his eyes. They are standing on a shiny endless reflective surface, reflecting stars.]''
:'''Rex:'''	This is different.
:'''Breach:'''	Do you see it?
:'''Rex:'''	Um--
:'''Breach:'''	This is where the stillness comes from.
:'''Rex:'''	You. Are weird. So what exactly does this mean? Are you coming with me or is this some kind of test?
:'''Breach:'''	I need you to see it.
:'''Rex:'''	Ah... A test.
:'''Breach:'''	Do you wanna understand?
:'''Rex:'''	Not exactly sure. ''[She glares, he waves his hands in front of him.]'' Yes, I mean yes. I mean--
:'''Breach:''' Follow me. ''[Walks through red portal.]''
:''[Another place. A door, a doll, a bear and a fire hydrant float in space.]''
:''[Rex hanging upside down, she is holding him by his ankle above a swirling pink vortex.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Ahh! What happened? I thought we were getting along fine!
:'''Breach:'''	Why are you here?
:'''Rex:''' Good question. Where exactly is here? Can we go somewhere else now, somewhere like, on Earth?
:''[She drops him. He screams and lands on the floor between some stacks of books.]''
:'''Rex:''' You sure know how to pick'em. What kind of tripped out dimension is this? ''[Librarian walks by and shushes him.]'' Oh. College.
:'''White Knight:''' ''[On communicator in Rex's right ear.]'' Rex, report. Where on earth have you been?
:'''Rex:'''	Apparently every place but.
:'''White Knight:''' I need to know you can handle this otherwise we're going to try a different approach.
:'''Rex:'''	You need to chill out, White. I’m making progress. ''[Rex puts his hand to his left ear.]'' Dr. Holiday, are you there?
:'''Holiday:'''	Tracking shows you’re with Breach. Are you okay?
:'''Rex:'''	Fine? Creeped out but fine. I can't bring Breach back to Providence, White would just lock her up and that won't help.
:'''Holiday:'''	Where will you take her?
:'''Rex:'''	I'll think of something. Just keep White Knight off my case.
:''[Breach appears behind him.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Why don't you let me pick out where we go next?
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[White Knight hands folded moving nervously.]''
:'''White Knight:''' He says he's making progress.
:'''Black Knight:''' The committee is losing confidence. They want results, not excuses.
:'''White Knight:''' Then that's exactly what they’ll get.
:''[Scene change. Rex sits across from Breach in a booth at a bowling alley.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Soooo, don't like bowling, huh? I figured with the extra arms you'd be a natural.
:'''Breach:'''	I'm not supposed to like you, but I do.
:'''Rex:''' ''[smiles]'' We're teenagers. At least assuming you are. Doing what we are not supposed to is part of the job. French fry?
:''[She takes it and then drops it.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Do you remember anything? From before you... changed?
:'''Breach:'''	I remember everything. And nothing.
:'''Rex:''' Naturally. Why did I even bother to ask. Listen, Breach. I'm not going to pretend I understand you, ''[Puts his hand on her giant hand]'' but I can help. If you let me.
:''[The machine starts to glow, they jump to their feet, other people look startled.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Nothing to worry about. Everything's fine.
:'''Breach:'''	I can't, I can't stop it.
:'''Rex:'''	Let me try. ''[He tries and it knocks him onto the floor sparking.]''
:'''Breach:'''	Van Kleiss has control. They're coming.
:''[Van Kleiss busts through the door with The Pack following. Raises bio-mechanical hand, palm of it glows, device on Breach's chest turns off.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Okay, do your thing. Get us out of here. Anywhere.
:''[she tries]''
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	You can't take what doesn't belong to you.
:'''Rex:'''	I didn't take you for the jealous type. ''[Rex shoots bowling balls at Van Kleiss with his cannon, hits Biowulf and Skalamander in the face and Van Kleiss punches the balls aside with his bio-mechanical hand.]''
:'''Rex:''' Breach, let's go!
:''[Breach rides off with Rex on hoverboard, Van Kleiss and Pack follow on three flying fish EVO's with harnesses and big teeth. They dodge and crash Van Kleiss into a window, and land in a park.]''
:''[Breach and Rex stand together on a footbridge looking down into the water.]''
:'''Breach:''' ''[Walks to bridge and looks at her reflection, Rex follows.]'' Will they hurt me?
:'''Rex:'''	Providence? Not if I can help it.
:'''Breach:'''	They did before. Ms. Smarty Pants—she likes to hurt me.
:'''Rex:''' I'll give you my word, if you come back to Providence, I promise no one will hurt you.
:'''Breach:'''	We can be together forever and ever. ''[She walks off bridge, ducks swimming in water.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Uh... something like that. What am I getting myself into? We gotta move. I bet my brother has already figured out how to turn that thing of yours off.
:''[The ducks fly off, they look and see a reflection in the pond of White Knight's ship.]''
:''[White Knight walks up followed by Providence fighter planes.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Uh guys, what are you doing?!
:'''White Knight:''' If you can't have something done right, do it yourself.
:''[They shoot at Breach, she screams, Rex is horrified.]''
:'''Rex:''' No! No! No! ''[walks up bridge to White Knight]'' Do have any idea what you just did?
:''[Breach's chest device turns on, she screams, Providence shoots at her.]''
:'''Rex:''' Is this what you wanted? Congratulations! ''[runs to Breach]'' Breach! Wait!
:'''Breach:''' Liar! ''[Throws red portal at Rex, he dodges, second one hits him, he disappears. Providence keeps shooting, she throw portals, drops three soldiers in water.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Agent Six!
:''[He jumps at her, she portals him away to behind Knight. Rex jumps from the water onto the bridge by Knight.]''
:'''Rex:'''	You had no intention to bring her in, did you?
:'''White Knight:''' I wanted to believe you, Rex, but this is too important. She can't be controlled.
:'''Rex:''' Control... Her powers are back on. Van Kleiss.
:''[Van Kleiss arrives on flying fish EVO.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Settle down, Breach.
:''[Chest device turns off.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Let me do this. I can get through to her. Come on. It couldn't get any worse than you've already made it
:''[Knight and Six look at each other.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Form a perimeter around Breach. Van Kleiss isn't to touch her.
:''[A rock wall rises from the ground blocking Rex as he runs towards Breach. The Pack jumps down from wall to attack Rex, Six intervenes. Agents surround Breach, she tries and fails to make red portal. Screams. Van Kleiss flies in on fish, knocks down agents with bio-mechanical whip arm, shoots needles from fingers and knocks more down, fish knocks the rest down. White Knight shoots at Van Kleiss.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' If you had any idea what I was trying to do you might even welcome it.
:'''White Knight:''' Enlighten me.
:''[Van Kleiss touches a tree and it turns into an EVO. EVO tree catches and holds White. Six and Biowulf fight, Rex and Skalamander fight.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Enlighten you?
:''[Sticks his claws in White Knight, glowing White Knight screams.]'' All in good time, White Knight, assuming you have some left.
:''[Six throws a magnablade through Van Kleiss's bio-mechanical arm and he lets go of White.]''
:'''Six:'''	''[to White Knight]'' Go. I mean it. ''[White Knight flies off.]''
:'''Six:''' The name's Six.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	We've met.
:'''Six:'''	Don't remember. ''[They fight.]''
:''[Breach on merry-go-round, turning slowly looking at the sky.
:'''Rex:'''	You're just using her.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Of course I am. She knows it. Spare me the chivalry, Rex. Providence would do the same.
:'''Rex:'''	Either way you slice it, she loses!
:'''Breach:''' ''[to herself]'' My two favorites. You both lie. Neither is real.
:'''Rex:''' ''[goes to her]'' Breach, I'm sorry. I meant what I said.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Words mean nothing.
:'''Rex:''' Then let this do the talking. ''[Turns on her machine, puts it into her power.]''
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' You just handed her a loaded gun.
:'''Rex:'''	And now it's her choice how to use it.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Oh if only I had the chance to get through to you, Rex, to teach you how the world really works.
:''[Breach steps in front of Van Kleiss, raises her arms as if to send Rex away. Makes huge yellow portal above them.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Our very first time traveler. You should be honored. Now Breach, if you wouldn't mind.
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:''[Rex closes his eyes. Breach sends Van Kleiss away with yellow portal.]''
:'''Rex:''' That was... unexpected.
:''[Rex tries to turn machine off but fails.]''
:'''Rex:'''	It won't turn off. I'm sorry. I, I didn't know.
:'''Breach:'''	Van Kleiss made it like this so I wouldn't send him away.
:'''Rex:'''	That didn't work out so well did it? Six, get everyone out of here now! ''[A big yellow dome forms around the playground where Rex and Breach stand.]''
:'''Rex:'''	So, what's going to happen?
:''[Rex and Breach are about to be engulfed by Breach's out of control time portal]''
:'''Breach''': ''[she looks up]'' I don't know if any of this was real. But it was nice having a friend for a while. ''[Rex smiles, Breach hugs him as they dispensary in the golden time portal]''
:'''Rex:''' I didn't get blown up. ''[Sees a lizard.]'' Whoa! ''[Jumps away, startled.]'' Oh no, please don't let this be dino time. ''[Touches earpiece in left ear.]'' Rex to Providence, do you copy? :''[Takes earpiece out and looks at it.]'' Oh... Rex to Providence, you better be there.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Uh... we copy, Rex. We have a lock on your coordinates and are sending a jump jet.
:'''Rex:'''	Is Six okay? Breach went supernova.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Someone's on the way, just hold tight. Providence out.
:''[Scene change, Rex lying on the ground.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Took you long enough.
:''[Turns over and sees Providence agents, pointing guns at him.]''
:'''Providence Agent:''' Rex is onboard. Heading back to HQ.
:'''Rex:'''	HQ? Ten minutes ago I was in the middle of an epic battle. You need to take me back!
:'''Providence Agent:''' Um, that battle is over.
:'''Rex:''' What happened? Is Six okay? Guys...what's going on?
:''[They arrive at HQ.]''
:'''Caesar:'''	Baby brother, you're okay! ''[Runs and hugs him.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Breach just sent me to nowheresville. Nothing to freak out over.
:'''Caesar:'''	''[To Providence agent.]'' You didn't tell him?
:'''Providence Agent:''' Our orders were just to bring him back.
:'''Rex:'''	Tell me what? Hey, when did you... have a beard?
:'''Caesar:''' There's no easy way to tell you this, hermano. Breach didn't just send you to the middle of nowhere. You've been gone for six months.
:'''Rex:'''	Six months?! So this is--
:'''Caesar:''' Technically, the future. I should warn you, there've been a few changes.
:'''Rex:'''	You didn't give away my room, did you?
:'''Caesar:''' As a matter of fact, they did.
:'''Rex:''' What?! Caesar, tell me what's going on here.
:'''Caesar:'''	It would be better if I showed you.
:'''Rex:'''	White Knight taking visitors now?
:'''Caesar:'''	I'll wait out here.
:''[Rex sees Providence agents dressed in black.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Nice suits.
:''[Goes into the office.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Ah... Love what you've done with the place. White?
:''[Person in chair turns around, it's a woman, not White Knight.]''
:'''Black Knight:''' Thank you, Rex. ''[She gets up and walks towards him.]'' It was a little bright for my taste. White Knight is no longer associated with this organization.
:'''Rex:''' He quit?
:'''Black Knight:''' He...attempted a hostile takeover and failed. Can I get you anything? Water? A snack?
:'''Rex:''' I don't want a snack! Where's Six? Where's Holiday!?
:'''Black Knight:''' This must upsetting to you. Change is never easy but from I understand, you've been in situations like this before. Everything's going to be fine.
:'''Rex:''' Who are you?!
:'''Black Knight:''' Someone very happy to have you back. Call me Black Knight.

==Season Three (2011-2013)==
===Back in Black===
: '''Rex''': Okay, I get what's going on here.
: '''Black Knight''': I'm relieved to hear that, Rex.
: '''Rex''': You can come out! I know you're there!
: '''Black Knight''': Rex?
: '''Rex''': We're friends, now, remember? Breach?
: '''Black Knight''': Breach isn't here, Rex. The world's changed. As soon you accept th--
: '''Rex''': No, I'm not ignoring you. It's just that you're not real.
: '''Black Knight''': I assure you I'm very real-- as is all of this.
: '''Rex''': ''[chuckling]'' Oh, come on. It's been a fun time in the ol' Breachscape, but, you know, time to go home now.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex''': Seen this before. Usually ends with a black hole.
: '''Black Knight''': Rex, you're disoriented. Let me--
: '''Rex''': Sorry, non-lady. No time. Got an exit to find! Shall we aprehend?
: '''Black Knight''': It won't be necessary.
: '''Caesar''': Rex! Have you lost it?
: '''Rex''': Caesar! We're in a pocket dimension! It could collapse at any second!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Caesar''': That's crazy, Rex. This is not a pocket dimension.
: '''Rex''': You're right! It's a whole alternate universe! And-- and-- and you're my Brother's evil twin! Out of the way! Six! Six! Doc!
: ''[Rex panting]''
: '''Rex''': Dr. Holiday! Doc!
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex''': Wha-- Well, at least some things haven't changed. Whoa! Whoa! Okay, now I-- Bleh-- know I'm in an-- Aah!-- alternate universe. Unh! You can go ahead and -- Blech!-- Eat me now, please.
: '''Black Knight''': Release.
: '''Rex''': You were... saying something about changes?
: '''Black Knight''': There have been a few.
: '''Caesar''': You've got temporal lag, Rex. It's kind of like altitude sickness, only in time. Here-- This will balance your electrolytes.
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex''': So this is really-- 
: '''Black Knight''': Really. Welcome to the future, Rex-- Or, rather, to the present. Without your healing abilities, Providence has embraced a new paradigm. We've moved beyond the outmoded era of &quot;cure, contain, or kill.&quot;
: '''Rex''': And into the era of &quot;serious leash laws&quot;.
: '''Caesar''': We used the petting zoo as our test bed. What do you think?
: '''Rex''': I think it needs a new name, 'cause, you know, now it really is one.
: '''Caesar''': We've developed new techniques for working with EVOs. It's all about understanding them better.
: '''Rex''': So, you're some sort of &quot;EVO whisperer&quot;?
: '''Caesar''': ''[laughs]'' It's a bit more complicated than that. You sure you're okay? ''[sighs]'' It's good to have you back, brother.
: '''Black Knight''': Family ties. They transcend even time itself.
: '''Rex''': Caesar's not my only family.
: '''Black Knight''': I'll bring you up to speed on the others. When you went M.I.A., White Knight lost his biggest weapon in the war for EVO containment.
: '''Rex''': Figures that I have to vanish for him to appreciate me.
: '''Black Knight''': White became erratic-- some might say paranoid. Directorate lost faith in his ability to lead.
: '''Rex''': Directorate? I never knew white even had a boss.
: '''Black Knight''': There are, shall we say, layers. I was named as his replacement.
: '''Rex''': Let me guess-- he didn't take it well.
: '''Black Knight''': You could say that.
: '''Providence Agent''': White Knight! Sir! Stand down!
: '''White Knight''': I'd rather go down in flames than see Providence in the hands of the enemy.
: '''Providence Agent''': He's got a bomb! Fall back! All units fall ba--
: '''Rex''': Whoa! That was--
: '''Black Knight''': Your room.
: '''Rex''': Huh? Aww, man! But... Six... Holiday... where--
: '''Black Knight''': Where do you think? They're out looking for you. Agent Six and Holiday took indefinite leave. They've been off the grid ever since. I've attempted to contact them, but no response.
: '''Rex''': Mind if... I give them a ring? Not that I don't trust you.
: '''Black Knight''': But you don't trust me. Natural, given the circumstances. Be my guest. It won't take long, to locate them. Meanwhile, there are many familiar faces who will be glad to hear you're back. Which reminds me... This is everything we salvaged from your room.
: '''Rex''': Huh. Talk about starting over.
: '''Black Knight''': You could you know. There's still a place for you in the--
: '''Rex''': My room. I thought you said it was trashed.
: '''Black Knight''': Rex, wait.
: '''Rex''': What's the matter, Black? This where you're hiding all your evil secrets?
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex''': Um... Wow!
: '''Black Knight''': This entire wing was destroyed in the blast. I had the space... repurposed.
: '''Rex''': White wouldn't even splurge for private stalls.
: '''Black Knight''': As you see, I treat my finest people to the very finest things.
: '''Rex''': Sure. I'll take one of those, please.
: '''Black Knight''': It's yours-- and anything else you'd like.
: '''Rex''': As long as I do whatever you want-- That it?
: '''Black Knight''': On the contrary-- you're a seasoned agent. I have a few boundaries, but otherwise, handle matters as you see fit.
: '''Rex''': Say I refuse.
: '''Black Knight''': Then I turn you over to mel. ''[chuckling]'' I'm kidding. You're free to leave whenever you like. But I hope you'll stay. Now, more than ever, Providence needs a Rex. So, how do you feel? Like I haven't used one of those in Six months-- Which I haven't. You mind? Bobo?
: '''Bobo''': Rex! Heard you were back. So great to see you, buddy. Whoa. Just a sec, there, pal. Gotta love those certain towelettes.
: ''[Bobo whistling]''
: '''Bobo''': What? Never seen a monkey wash his hands before?
: '''Rex''': Not this one.
: ''[Bobo munching]''
: '''Rex''': You wanna tell me what's gotten into you or what?
: '''Bobo''': What are you talking abou-- Unh! Hey!
: '''Rex''': Sorry. For a minute, I thought you were...
: '''Bobo''': Robo Bobo? Wanna check for a tv in my butt?
: '''Rex''': Pass. But come on. You've, I don't know, mellowed or something.
: '''Bobo''': Guess I just don't have a big need to act out these days, what with you and everyone gone. Plus, the employee benefits are pretty sweet.
: '''Black Knight''': Rex, we've got a little EVO problem. Providence could use your help. Ready to get back in the game?
: '''Rex''': If it involves getting out of here, that would be a &quot;yes.&quot; You coming?
: '''Bobo''': I'll join ya on the next one. I got Tai Chi at 2:00.
: '''Rex''': Missing an EVO smackdown? That doesn't sound like you.
: '''Bobo''': Did I mention the instructor has a thing for back hair?
: '''Rex:''' Ew. Okay. That sounds like you. What is it and where do I find it?
: '''Providence Agent''': We've got an EVO in the subway tunnels, people trapped in one of the trains. The power's out down there, too.
: '''Rex:''' Sounds like a street worm. Sure it's just one? Rex to H.Q. Okay, new chief, how do you want to do this?
: '''Black Knight:''' You're the expert.
: '''Rex:''' I am? Uh, I mean, of course I am. It's just that Six usually--
: '''Black Knight:''' You don't need help, Rex. Handle it as you see fit. Black, out.
: '''Rex:''' What's this strange feeling that's come upon me? Could it be...
: ''[Rex shudders]''
: '''Rex''': Responsibility?! Okay. Assemble your guys over there. Be ready for me. Should the guys grab flashlight. Or... better. Not a bad pre-show. Now for the main event.
: '''Providence Agent:''' How did you know?
: '''Rex:''' These things usually travel in pairs. I used lights from my builds to make it think I was another worm. Have your bug net handy. They're so cute after I shut them down.
: '''Rex:''' Sorry B.K. No can cure.
: '''Black Knight:''' Understood. Our team will take it from here.
: '''Rex:''' Um, take what where?
: '''Providence Agent:''' Move into the vehicle! Move... into... the vehicle! Hit her again!
: '''Rex:''' Um, what just happend?
: '''Black Knight:''' That's all for now, Rex. Nicely done.
: '''Rex:''' Hm. Wait. What are you gonna do with it?
: '''Providence Agent:''' Standard rehab and re-lo. It's all very humane.
: '''Rex:''' I'd love to see that. Mind if I tag along?
: '''Black Knight:''' Sorry, Rex. Authorized personnel only. You've done your job. Now let the team theirs.
: '''Rex:''' But--
: '''Black Knight:''' Boundaries, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' Boundaries. Got it. Rex, out.
: '''Caesar:''' Main container reached. Attach stabilizer ring.
: '''Rex:''' Humane? Yeah, right.
: ''[Bobo yawns]''
: '''Bobo:''' See? Great employee benefits.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. Right. Hey, you got a tag sticking out in the back. Mind if I--
: '''Bobo:''' Thanks, pal. Well, off to yoga.
: '''Caesar:''' You really shouldn't be here, hermano.
: '''Rex:''' The petting zoo? The worm? My monkey practicing good hygiene? You're using that thing to control my friend!
: '''Caesar:''' He's still the same Bobo you know and love. He just need a few boundaries.
: '''Rex:''' He's not the same, and neither are you! You should hear yourself!
: '''Caesar:''' Making the world safer isn't possible without some form of control. And you'd better get some control of yourself, mijo.
: '''Rex:''' Or what? You'll use that thing on me?
: '''Caesar:''' Open your eyes to all the good we're accomplishing. Isn't this better than smacking them with your giant fists?
: '''Rex:''' That's combat! I protect people and property! Okay, property, not so much, but this? If you can't see the difference, then maybe I never knew you at all!
: '''Caesar:''' It doesn't matter. I have work to do.
: '''Rex:''' So do I!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Uses his Smack Hands to smash everything around him]''
: '''Caesar:''' Rex! Stop!
: '''Black Knight:''' Snooping around, Rex? See, that's another one of my boundaries.
: '''Rex:''' White Knight may have had his issues, but he never resorted to anything like this!
: '''Black Knight:''' I never planned to do this, Rex, but you've become a danger.
: '''Rex''' ''[shocked]'': Caesar! Think! You can't do this!
: '''Caesar:''' Of course I'm thinking. This is the logical conclusion to what we started. 
: '''Rex:''' The logical-- Aaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Raaah! Aah!
: ''[Caesar blasts the mind-control laser, causing Rex to scream and groan in pain]''
: '''Caesar:''' Sorry, Rex. You'll thank me later.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' You... better... believe I will!
: '''Caesar:''' Please don't resist! It's only painful if you struggle!
: '''Black Knight:''' What's taking so long?
: '''Caesar:''' He's fighting it! His nantic energy is spiking off the scale!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Boost power.
: '''Caesar:''' It's not safe to--
: '''Black Knight:''' It's for the best. 
: ''[Caesar increases power, causing Rex's nanites to go haywire as a tear fall down his cheek, heartbroken about his own brother betraying him]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Manages to overpower the mind-control machine, much to the surprise and wonder of Caesar and Black Knight]''
: '''Rex:''' You just drew a line in the sand, bro! ''[runs off]''
: '''Black Knight:''' You'd better have a backup.
: '''Caesar:''' The prototype. Not portable, but more than enough power, even for him.
: '''Black Knight:''' Get it ready.
: '''Rex:''' Unh!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Rex:''' No mood to get slimed right now, mel!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Rex:''' What happened to your EVO control?
: '''Black Knight:''' A demonstration. You know what would happen without our influence.
: '''Rex:''' So, you're hijacking its brain, like you tried to do with mine.
: '''Black Knight:''' That won't be necessary if you'll willingly cooperate.
: '''Rex:''' Translation-- if I do everything you say.
: '''Black Knight:''' You've seen how we can work together. Providence still needs you. There will always be a few EVOs we can't control.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. I'm one of them.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Shall we pursue?
: '''Black Knight:''' Most definitely.
: '''Rex:''' Gangway! Coming through! Huh? No! Huh. Black Pawns. Overdoing the whole theme, don't you think?
: ''[Rex groaning]''
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Yah! I'm getting beat up by the chess club!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Black Knight:''' We... got off on the wrong foot. Stow the hardware and come with us. You have my word you won't be harmed. We can start over-- the right way.
: '''Bobo:''' You mind? You're interrupting the enjoyment of my employee benefits.
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: ''[Rex panting]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Black Knight:''' ''[after Rex was tranquilized]'' Excellent work. Take him to the lab.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex:''' What? No way! You're not turning my brain to mashed potatoes! Doc?!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Welcome back, Rex.
: '''Six:''' Good to see you, kid.
: '''Rex:''' Before I blame this on a Burrito-induced nightmare, will someone please tell me-- What... Is... Going... On?!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' What do you think? We've been looking for you.
: '''Six:''' We knew Providence might find you first. Fortunately, we planted a mole.
: '''Bobo:''' Ehh. Rex! Put 'er there!
: '''Rex:''' Uhh! You didn't wash! Oh! You didn't wash! But that means... that he really was... Robo Bobo?
: '''Bobo:''' In the flesh.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Literally. I gave it a biological upgrade, complete with his own nanites and... fleas, ticks, lice, chigger mites.
: '''Bobo:''' What can I say? I'm an ecosystem.
: '''Six:''' It's enough to fool your brother's equipment. The robot is only providing limited intel. But one thing is sure-- new Providence is about more than just getting Evos off the streets.
: '''Rex:''' I saw it. Whatever they're doing over there is seriously messed up.
: '''Six:''' That's why we've set up our own operation.
: '''Rex:''' Whoa! Where did you get all of this?
: '''Six:''' We have our sources.
: '''Rex:''' So, we're like super secret spies now? Cool!
:''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex:''' It's too bad about White, though. I never thought I'd say it, but I'm gonna miss that pasty guy.
: '''White Knight:''' How touching, Rex. I, on the other hand, would rather enjoyed the last six Rex-free months. Now... if we're done with the love-in, we have work to do.
: '''Rex:''' It really can't get any better than this. Oh, except one thing-- can I get a TV?

===Crash and Burn===
*From this episode, Rex can create two builds at once
:''[Bobo yawns]''
:'''Bobo:''' They say nothin' good happens after midnight. And, you know, they're right.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I'm worried about you, Bobo. Since we left Providence, you've been staying out every night.
:''[Bobo grunts]''
:''[Bobo munching]''
:''[Bobo gulps]''
:'''Bobo:''' That's not the least of your worries. Seen our boy lately?
:''[Dr. Holiday scoffs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex is fine. He just needs time to adjust to our new setting. Rex? It's Holiday. Are you there?
:'''Rex:''' Hey, doc. What up?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Just checking in. Everything okay?
:'''Rex:''' Better than okay. I'm about to set a new land-speed record'
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That wasn't what I meant. How are you feeling?
:'''Rex:''' Appreciate the concern, but the only thing on my mind right now is the need for speed. Apparently, I'm not alone. I'll call you back. Hey! Slow down! I want to talk to you! Ah. You want to play chicken. Doc? Bobo? I'm getting blitzed by some bikers. Aah!
:'''Rand:''' Might as well give up! I won't quit! I'm a relentless, never-say-die, nonstop-- Uh, hey, wait a minute. Who are you?
:'''Rex:''' Think you could have asked me that before trying to run me down?
:'''Rand:''' Ooh! My fault. I thought you were one of us.
:'''Rex:''' &quot;One of us&quot;? What is this?
:'''Rand:''' Sorry, dude. No time to chat. Peace.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, like I'm gonna take that for an answer. A street race? Or a demolition derby?
:''[Lance grunts]''
:''[Lance groans]''
:'''Lance:''' Gonna need a bike.
:'''Rex:''' Can't believe you survive that! You must be the luckiest guy on the-- These are nanites.
:''[Lance groans]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Oh, come on!
:'''Six:''' Something wrong?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Prototypes. I prefer tried-and-tested. And I don't even know what we're going to do with half of this stuff.
:'''Bobo:''' You're goin' soft, gettin' worked over by a bunch of goofballs on motorcycles.
:'''Rex:''' They had weapons.
:'''Bobo:''' Last time I checked, so did you.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, but not while I'm on my bike. I'm strictly one at a time.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The nanites that have infected his body are slowly poisoning him. I've never seen anything like it.
:'''Rex:''' Do what you can, Doc? I'm gonna go out and look for those racers.
:'''Bobo:''' Sounds dangerous.
:'''Rex:''' Sure, Bobo. You can come, too. The nanites we found on the biker gave off a different energy signature. Gonna use one of Holiday's new toys to try to scan for it. A bunch of them. And they're moving fast.
:'''Bobo:''' Then step on it! Maybe Holiday has a point about prototypes!
:'''Rex:''' Or maybe they're not on the streets. I'll watch the road. You watch the screen.
:'''Bobo:''' Gotta warn you-- Chimps make bad navigators!
:'''Rex:''' Just do it!
:'''Bobo:''' Hmm? Left! You're goin' left! Make a right! Another right!
:'''Rex:''' Which way?
:'''Bobo:''' I don't know! That way-ish! Wah! Like I said-- Monkeys make great navigators! This is your biker gang?
:'''Rex:''' They had weapons before I'm telling you-- They're tough!
:'''Bobo:''' If you say so.
:''[Bobo grunts]''
:'''Bobo:''' Wall.
:''[Bobo and Rex grunts]''
:'''Moss:''' That's some fancy ridin'. You following us, kid?
:'''Rex:''' Still think they don't look tough?
:'''Bobo:''' I take it back.
:'''Moss:''' Who are you, kid? 'Cause whoever you are, you're not bad.
:'''Rand:''' You're awesome! Where'd you learn to ride like that? Anybody with that kind of skill should be with us. Yeah!
:'''Moss:''' What's your secret?
:'''Rex:''' No secret. I'm just built that way.
:'''Lunk:''' Is that guy from TV-- The one who fights EVOs.
:'''Bobo:''' Five bucks for pictures, ten bucks for autographs.
:'''Rand:''' A talking monkey! Outrageous! I gotta have one. Is he for sale?
:'''Bobo:''' Brother, you can't afford me.
:'''Rex:''' You guys seem tight-- For guys who try to kill each other.
:'''Rand:''' We're not killers. We're racers. This is a legitimate sport.
:'''Moss:''' It is what it is. Our races aren't for the weak. Name's Moss. You've met Rand.
:'''Rex:''' He tried to blow me up.
:'''Rand:''' I missed. You're welcome. Come on, don't leave me hangin'.
:'''Moss:''' Never met a celebrity who could ride.
:'''Rex:''' I caught you, didn't I?
:'''Moss:''' But are you tough enough try me?
:'''Rex:''' Try me.
:'''Bobo:''' You gotta fight back?
:'''Rex:''' With what?
:'''Bobo:''' Oh, brother. Fine, leave it to Chimpy. Aah! I'll take that. Phbt!
:'''Rex:''' Something else on the map-- Moving fast! And it's big!
:'''Providence Agent:''' Halt! You kids! Pull over! Now!
:'''Moss:''' Cops!
:'''Bobo:''' Worst than cops-- Providence.
:'''Rex:''' The bikes give off a nanite signature. They must have tracked it.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Rex, what are you doing here?
:'''Rex:''' Research. You don't want to get caught up in this! Back off now! Sorry, guys. Have Black Knight sent me the bill.
:'''Rand:''' Ha! No way! You want to beat me, you gotta step your game up. Aah!
:''[Rand groans]''
:'''Rex:''' Rand!
:'''Bobo:''' Don't stop! Kid's wearing armor. He's fine.
:'''Rex:''' No! Something's wrong!
:''[Rand groans]''
:'''Rex:''' What is this thing? Doc? Get over here quick. We've got another one.
:'''Biker gangs:''' WHOO-HOO-HOO!
:''[Biker gangs laughs]''
:'''Biker gangs:''' Yeah!
:'''Moss:''' We thought you'd bailed on us. Where were you?
:'''Rex:''' Watching a doctor try to save Rand's life.
:'''Moss:''' Racers get sick sometimes. It's part of the life.
:'''Rex:''' Those nanite power sources-- you got to stop using them. To feel one with the road, that rush? So some people get sick. When we're on our rides, nothing else matters.
:'''Rex:''' Your rides are killing you! You're gonna be dead-- All of you! And for what? So you can go a little faster?
:'''Moss:''' We need those things to ride. You know what it's like.
:'''Lunk:''' Please. Don't take our bikes away.
:'''Rex:''' Nobody's going to take your bikes. But I need to know where you got those nanites.
:'''Lunk:''' ''[sighs]'' A guy named Valve. He supplies the superchargers.
:'''Moss:''' You're wasting your time. Valve never talks to anybody.
:'''Rex:''' He'll talk to me.
:'''Bobo:''' Been in a lot of bad biker dives, but this is the worst I've ever seen.
:'''Valve:''' Enter, strangers. The biker will see you now. Please, sit. May I offer you some tea?
:'''Rex:''' I'll pass.
:'''Valve:''' Suit yourself. I find a good cup of tea soothing-- for the body and the soul.
:''[Valve slurps]''
:'''Valve:''' You don't have to tell the biker why you're here. The biker can tell. You wish to buy a supercharger.
:''[Valve slurps]''
:'''Rex:''' Your superchargers are killing people. It's gonna stop.
:''[Valve breathes deeply]''
:'''Valve:''' Hmm. That sounds like a challenge.
:'''Rex:''' Maybe it is. I'll race you for them. If I win, you hand over your entire stockpile.
:'''Valve:''' Shh! Your answer is on the wind.
:'''Rex:''' You're... not right in the head, are you?
:'''Valve:''' When the wind commands, the impossible game must be gamed. The challenge is accepted. We will race for the superchargers. And when the biker wins... It won't matter.
:'''Rex:''' Why is that?
:'''Valve:''' Because you'll be dead. Let the race begin.
:'''Moss:''' This is his own private track. He knows it better than anyone. You can still back out-- Probably.
:'''Rex:''' And let people become poison, like Valve? No. I can take him. Just give me something to hit him with. You guys are walking arsenals. You don't have anything?
:'''Moss:''' You didn't think we'd need 'em today.
:'''Bobo:''' Oh, boy.
:'''Six:''' Message from Holiday. The two sick teens have stabilized, but she's still a ways from finding a cure.
:'''Rex:''' It was the only weapon I could find, okay? Can I borrow the sword?
:'''Six:''' Use your own.
:'''Rex:''' On wheels? It's not gonna happen.
:'''Six:''' What's stopping you?
:'''Rex:''' Well, for one thing, I-- Um, not sure exactly.
:'''Six:''' What have I been teaching you? Focus on what you want and make it happen. No more excuses.
:''[Bobo munching]''
:''[Bobo munching]''
:'''Valve:''' You're lucky. One the very best get a chance at this track.
:'''Rex:''' Then I should fit right in. Rules of the game-- ten laps. Cross the finish line before the biker, and you may have them.
:'''Rex:''' So, is the wind talking to you now?
:'''Valve:''' The wind commands the Biker to destroy you. The Biker is happy to oblige.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Bobo:''' You gonna help him?
:'''Six:''' He's doing fine.
:'''Bobo:''' Are you watchin' the same race I am?
:''[Valve grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' You're in trouble, Rex! No. Keep it together. Keep... it... together. Six said it-- Focus. Focus. Focus!
:''[Valve laughs]''
:'''Valve:''' Oblivion.
:'''Six:''' Like I sad-- He's doing fine.
:'''Rex:''' Double-up! Where have you been all my life?
:''[Valve grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Cute toy. But I like mine better.
:'''Valve:''' Aah!
:'''Rex:''' Was there any doubt?
:'''Bobo:''' Yeah, plenty.
:''[Valve panting]''
:'''Rex:''' We had the deal. Remember?
:'''Valve:''' Like the storm that changes directions on a whim, the biker is changing the deal. 'Cause the biker-- ''[grunts]'' Doesn't like! ''[grunts]'' The biker-- ''[grunts]'' never loses! ''[grunts]'' Unh!
:'''Rex:''' First time for everything. Thank you, Six.
:'''Six:''' It was all you, kid.
:'''Moss:''' Rand!
:'''Biker gangs:''' Oh, Rand! Good to see you!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Completely detoxified. In a couple days, they'll be back to full strength. Those could be useful at the new base.
:'''Moss:''' You can't stop us from riding.
:'''Rex:''' What's stopping you? You can still ride. You just won't be poisoned by nanites. Come on. Race you back to the garage.
:''[Rex rides off]''
:'''Moss:''' ''[Chasing after Rex]'' You heard the man. Hit it!
:'''Six:''' You do realize we just turned a group of reckless teenage boys loose on the city.
:'''Bobo:''' All in a day's work.

===Heroes United, Part 1===
:'''Caesar:''' Now where are you? So it ''is'' you. This is most disturbing.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Ben:''' You know the friend you care about!? Well, I have a cousin, a grandfather, a best friend that I care about!! They don't exist here! I may never see them again! I'm totally alone! So go ahead! Do your worst.
: '''Rex:''' Maybe we can help each other.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I'm curious how big brother knows about something from a parallel dimension.
: '''Caesar:''' Because I sent it there. In the early days of the Nanite Project, our goal was simple. Construct microscopic machines to cure diseases, grow new cells, regenerate bones. They was a control issue. Some thought a human-machine link was the answer. Others proposed that the machines control themselves. I was in latter cam. I developed the Alpha to control other nanites. To maximize its effectiveness, I had to program Alpha to think for itself. 
:'''Ben:''' Does a low explanation mean something bad on your Earth too?
:'''Rex:''' Yep.
:'''Caesar:''' Alpha developed its own consciousness. It evolved into a unique life-form. It wanted a body, but whatever it built burned out. So when Alpha attempted possessing living this, Alpha had to be eliminated. So I built a dimensional disruptor.
:'''Ben:''' Looks like a Null Void gun. We got some like those back home, too.

===Heroes United, Part 2===
:'''Alpha:''' The nanites in those creatures. They are different, powerful. Your nanites are weak. I have no use for you. Where is the boy?
:'''Holiday:''' His nanites are off limits!!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' My brother!? Look around! He's not here!
:'''Alpha:''' The father is redundant. Now that I found you.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Alpha:''' I cannot merge! What makes you so special, human? Yes. You shelter an Omega.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''White Knight:''' Don't let it get to Rex! If it drains his nanites-!
:'''Diamondhead:''' Game over. I get it.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex''': My most powerful builds came from the Omega nanite. A lot of people are going to get hurt and I can't stop it. What happens when the best you can do just isn't enough?
:'''Ben''': You get an Upgrade.
:'''Rex:''' Weren't you listening? Alpha has the Omega.
:'''Ben:''' I'm not talking about a nanite.
:(''Transforms into Upgrade'')
:'''Rex''':  Hey, what are you- ''[Upgrade merges with Rex]'' Whoa, okay, that feels weird. ''[Upgrade covers Rex's body like a suit]'' Wow, what supposed to happen now? ''[Upgrade's head appears on Rex's left shoulder]'' Uh...don't do that, you freaking me out!
:'''Upgrade''': Build something!
:'''Rex''': ''[Builds a Smack Arm, which is modified by Upgrade]'' Sweet, so what's the plan?
:'''Upgrade''': You build stuff, I make it better. Fight fight fight, we win!
:'''Rex''':  Works for me! ''[Rex builds a Boogie Pack and blasts off]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Alpha''': Organics who rely on machines for their power, I don't need. The machines themselves, now those I will have.
===Phantom of the Soap Opera===
:'''Rex Salazar:''' In a world he never chose and barely understands... ''[Rex looks over the countryside from a cliff, jumps and lands in a snow scene]'' One incredibly good looking guy fights for us all. His name...you know it baby...Rex. ''[jumps into a lake scene]'' Forget train wrecks... ''[punches]'' And car wrecks... ''[kicks]'' Nothing brings the pain like this Rex. ''[runs into city scene. EVO walks down street, Rex runs up, jumps, grabs EVO's head and tears it off. Holds it over his head in victory gesture.]''
:'''Actor in costume:''' Yeah, yeah, that's hilarious kid.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Ah, anytime you want to stop trying to get me fired get back to the tour.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Sorry. Got caught up in the moment.
:'''Actor in costume:''' Ah, dude?
:''[Rex puts head back on the man in EVO costume.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' And on your left, the sound stage where they make the hit TV show Middle School Talent show.
:''[Teen girls on tour squeal and run towards it.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' That's a closed set. ''[Noah pulls on his hair]'' C'mon, this is my first week as a page, I could lose my job!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I got this. ''[pulls girls back from stage with turbines]'' I just don't get girls, how come they get so... ''[notices something behind Noah, acts all excited]'' Huh hu oh huh... oh El Amor de la Pasion del Amor! Why didn't you tell me EADLPDA was made here?
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Um, probably because I didn't really believe you actually still watch a soap opera.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' It's a telenovela. The actresses are smoking hot. And I don't have cable?...ah c'mon dude don't be a hater. ''[crosses arms]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Whatever. We're not going in there, they get like ten safety violations a week, no one's allowed in accept crew and studio staff.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' You mean like pages? ''[Brushes Noah's shoulder with his hand, smiling. Noah brushes his hand away.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' No way. My boss is a total butt-buster for the rules and she is always watching. ''[makes binocular with his hands]''
:'''Head Page:''' You got that right bub. ''[Rex looks behind him, and jumps away]'' By the way Page, you lose something? ''[has three girls from Noah's tour group tied up in a rope]'' Found these wandering over by Middle School Talent Show. ''[Noah runs over and unties them, rope falls]''
:'''Head Page:''' ''[points to her left eye]'' I got my one good eye on you, Nixon.
:''[On set of telenovela]''
:''[Isabella crying]''
:'''Reymundo:''' Pensabas que yo era tu marido. ¡Pero fue una mentira! Pero la verdad es que soy Reymundo, el hermano diabólico de Reynaldo.
:'''Isabella:''' Yo sé, pero todavía te amo.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[standing by salad bar in cafeteria looking up at TV screen]'' How can anyone say that's not great!
:''[Man in cowboy hat tips his hat to Noah]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Whoa? Celebrities know you?
:''[There are drinks on their trays at this point, then in the next frame there are no drinks on their trays and they go over to get drinks.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' The only one here who knows my name is my boss. I'm just a newb on an internship.
:''[Blond girl puts her hand on Noah's shoulder and reaches across him to get a soda, walks away, looks back and gives him a finger gun.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Yeah right, you just got a finger gun from TV weather lady Summer Sonnenshine.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' It's the page jacket not me, if you put this thing on everyone would think you work here. Still. I gotta admit it's pretty cool.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Y'know, I didn't even know you'd applied for this. But I guess when you jump ahead in time you gotta expect some surprises...OH MY GOSH... ''[drops tray]'' It's Isabella, from El Amor del Pasion del Amor.
:''[Rex throws up his arms, knocks tray into Noah's chest spilling it all over his jacket]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' AHHH!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I know she's even hotter in real life than she is on the...
:'''Noah Nixon:''' ''[looks down at tray and jacket]'' Ohhhhh...
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Okay, okay don't worry...
:'''Head Page:''' ''[yelling at another page behind Rex]'' You call yourself a page!
:'''Rex:''' Okay worry. ''[puts his fingers together]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' This is a huge violation of the dress code, oh I am so fired!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No you're not. Come on, move!
:''[They run to a supply closet.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' I've gotta lead another tour in 45 minutes. We can't get to a dry cleaners and back in 45 minutes.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' This is my bad, but I can fix this. ''[Noah panicking, rocking and hyperventilating]'' We just have to calm down and think. Just calm down. ''[Rex points at Noah]'' Noah, calm down!
:''[Rex grabs a bottle of pickles off the shelf, opens the lid and throw contents of jar at Noah's head. A pickle ends up in Noah's mouth, he spits it out.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Not helping. ''[Noah, calm now and not hyperventilating and rocking, wipes pickle juice out of his eyes.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Okay, listen we passed the wardrobe department on the tour, they've gotta have a washer and dryer right?
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Uh... yeah, I guess?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Alright, good, give me your outfit and stay put, I'll take care of everything else.
:''[Scene change. Sign which says laundry stages commissary.]''
:''[Rex runs towards laundry, passes stage of telenovela. Grins and stops. Looks into open door. Looks down at soiled jacket. Up at stage doorway. Walks away. Runs back and grins bigger. Walks into stage with Noah's jacket on.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh...
:'''Isabella:''' Finally! You are here!
:''[Isabella kisses Rex all over his face.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' This is happening, right? I'm not going to wake up and be making out with my pillow again am I?
:'''Isabella:''' Come with me, they want to cancel us you know. That's why the studio puts us here in this place falling apart with all the accidentes.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Soap operas do not get the respect they deserve.
:'''Isabella:''' You are very wise for your age. We don't even go backstage anymore. Too dangerous.
:''[A silhouette of a rat is seen, it squeaks]''
:'''Beatriz:''' Is that our page?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh...
:''[Rex falls]''
:'''Isabella:''' He's mine, I saw him first!
:''[Rex gets up and Isabella grabs him.]''
:'''Isabella:''' He is mine!!!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hum?
:'''Beatriz:''' Why don't we let him decide?
:'''[Rex is being pulled back and forth]''
:'''Isabella:''' You would like that wouldn't you?
:'''Beatriz:''' Yes I would! Very much.
:'''Isabella:''' Fine.
:''[Girls growl at each other and walk away.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[grinning]'' Did they just cat-fight over me?
:''[The girls come back with lists.]''
:'''Isabella:''' Here is a list of what I need you to do!
:'''Beatriz:''' And here's mine!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' You want me to work on the show?
:'''Beatriz:''' Claro que si, we haven't had a page on set in ages.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' But I'm not ... ''[looks over the girls]'' ...able to think of one reason why I would pass this up.
:''[Screen cuts to Noah looking out the door. He sees the chief page and closes the door quickly, after that, the scene changes back to Rex carrying boxes of water with yogurt on top.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I got your yogurt, but I couldn't find the water you wanted. So I got these.
:'''Isabella:''' You are dead to me! But I will take this one. ''[takes yogurt]''
:''[Rex stares in shock and drops the boxes full of water.]''
:''[Old man walks in a dressing room, and Reynaldo comes out soon later.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Whoa, it's Reynaldo! Uh, coffee? ''[offers him a mug of coffee]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' Gracias.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Leche?
:'''Reynaldo:''' How dare you! I am lactose intolerant.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh, okay, didn't know that. Sugar?
:''[Reynaldo knocks the sugar out of his hand.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' Real men take their coffee strong and hot. Are you suggesting that I am not a real man?
:''[Rex looks around and the phone rings.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Rex, where are you?
:'''Reynaldo:''' No phone! ''[Reynaldo knocks the phone out of his hand.]'' You will talk to me face to face. Mano a mano! ''[grabs Rex's jacket]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey wait what are you... ''[Reynaldo pulls Rex away from table. Stage light falls where Rex was standing]'' ...Oh, thanks!
:''[Everyone runs up to them.]''
:'''Beatriz:''' Not another accidente!
:'''Isabella:''' ''[scared]'' Ay. Dios mio! No!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' It's okay, I'm fine.
:'''Isabella:''' ''[pushes Rex down]'' My jogurt!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I'd hate to be the guy that has to clean that up... ''[whispers to man though they look at him]'' Oh. ''[Reynaldo hands him the mop.]''
:'''Beatriz:''' If I didn't know better, I'd say that someone was trying to kill us.
:'''Reynaldo:''' Someone is. The head of the studio is trying to kill our soap opera. That's why he put us in this accursed stage, with all these accidentes. But we... ''[another stage light falls and hits his head, he falls to the ground]'' Aahh... Por que? Ay.
:''[Rex looks up and sees a mongoose...runs after it...goes backstage. Sees clowns and a sign saying “Mongo”.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Ugh! Clowns.
:''[The mongoose squeaks.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Lemme guess. You're the one who's been causing all the accidents.
:''[Mongo growls, bears teeth]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Okay, let's say we can wrap this up quietly. Last thing I need is someone wondering why the guy in the page jacket can do this. ''[wraps Mongo up in the whip thing, Mongo gets tiny, escapes, growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Guess that explains how you've been able to hide out back here. ''[Mongo pulls lever cannon comes out of floor and fires at Rex. Platform falls Rex dodges. Mongo squeaks]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Can we please do this a little more quietly and with a lot less YOU trying to kill me?
:''[Mongo jumps into the “O” of his name on the sign.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Wait, that's you, isn't it? You just want your job back. I can help you. ''[reaches in and tries to cure him Mongo runs out and traps Rex's hand]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Enough with the booby traps, I'm trying to help you. ''[Mongo sets off another trap]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh-oh. [makes big fist, weight on rope swings and hits Rex, makes noise]
:'''Beatriz:''' What's going on back there?
:'''Isabella:''' Where is that page? I am beginning to wonder ...HOW LONG IS IT GOING TO TAKE FOR HIM TO CLEAN UP MY JOGURT!!!!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[Getting thrown around back stage]'' Ouch. ''[gets beat up by mechanical clowns]''
:''[Mongo cuts stars from ceiling they fall and cut Rex's jacket]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Ok, New plan-- First I smash your face, then I cure you.
:''[Mongo knocks over equipment]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No. ''[grabs equipment, Mongo jumps on his arm, punches him and he falls]'' Oww! Look out!
:''[Actors run from set, Rex falls and smashes set]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uhh, okay here's the deal—all the accidents you've been having they were caused by an EVO backstage. It used to be a mongoose and now it wants it's old job back. ''[last wall of stage set falls behind him]''
:'''Beatriz:''' What are jou talking about?
:'''Isabella:''' We just saw you ruin our set.
:'''Reynaldo:''' You are trying to destroy this soap opera just like the rest of them! It is true what they say, this sound stage must be cursed for us to have such a horrible page such as you, Senior... ''[looks at name badge]'' Noah Nixon.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Whoa, wait. This isn't Noah's fault.
:''[Three actors gasps]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' ''[tears off his own shirt]'' Now you insult us by talking about yourself in the third person! Somehow we must rebuild and finish our shoot! But as soon as we do, Noah Nixon, I will have you fired!
:''[Workers fixing set, Rex's phone rings.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Rex! Finally. How's the jacket?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Umm. Well, the good news is you won't notice the stain anymore. Hey uh, by the way, your page training, did it include anything about the creepy backstage in studio B?
:'''Noah Nixon: What? Why are you--
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No reason. I was just thinking, hypothetically, what would happen if I used your jacket to take a quick peek at the telenovela and ended up chasing some killer EVO mongoose? Hypothetically... Uh...Noah?
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Sorry, just trying to figure out how to tell my parents I have no future.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey I got this. I hit a little snag. Just keep your pants on.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' ''[sitting the maintenance closet in his underwear]'' Heh!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Sorry, look, you don't have anything to worry about all I have to do is catch the EVO before they finish shooting and clear my... your name.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' You know what? I'm not worried. I am completely resigned to the fact that I am losing my job. ''[Noah hangs up on Rex. Rex hears dial tone.]''
:'''Beatriz:''' ''[to Reynaldo]'' You are bleeding!
:'''Reynaldo:''' What I am is an actor! We must shoot this scene. We cannot let them cancel us! ''[moans and falls on his face crushing a chair]''
:'''Beatriz:''' You cannot go on.
:'''Isabella:''' If only there were someone else here who knows our show, is fluent in Spanish, and will do a scene in which he kisses me.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I'll do it!!!
:'''Reynaldo:''' You? The one who ruined our set and lied about the EVO? I'd rather die! But then, my life will surely end if the show is canceled, so maybe... But no! It's impossible. But yet, what is more impossible than a dream. Nothing means more than my dream of saving this telenovela!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' So, is that a--
:'''Reynaldo:''' Si. You will be our savior. And then I will have you fired. Accion!
:''[Rex is dressed as Reynaldo. Takes Isabella in his arms and looks deep into her eyes, smiles..then turns away, sees Mongo and gasps. Isabella pulls his face back to her and puckers for a kiss. Mongo squeaks and runs out the door and Rex turns his eyes towards it.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[thinking]'' Okay no kiss, but you're gonna save Noah's job! ''[groans]'' Nope. Doesn't make it any better. ''[Runs out Isabelle runs after him, trips on his wig and falls to the ground gasping, reaching after him]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[makes Rex Ride to chase Mongo down alley. Runs into a set. Falls]'' Where'd you go?
:'''Guy in suit:''' You! Page! Take this script to post, pronto.
:'''Rex Salazar: Hey wait, I'm not--
:'''Guy in suit:''' Oh? You're not going to do it? Are you talking back to me Mr.... Nixon?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No. Mr. Nixon is not definitely not talking back to whoever you are. ''[takes script, leaves]''
:'''Guy in suit:''' Nixon! ''[Points in the other direction of where Rex was going. Rex goes where he's pointing]''
:''[Rex walks by alley hears Mongo munching garbage, sneaks up, tries to cure it. It escapes, Rex corners it in dead end alley]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Oh you're not so tough when you can't hide, are you? ''[Mongo growls and grows huge]'' Oh so you can do that too. ''[Mongo roars, swipes at Rex with claws]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey, watch the jacket. I'm in enough trouble already. ''[Sets down scripts. Big fists. Mongo shrinks to escape. Rex falls to the ground. Mongo gets huge again behind him, tries to stomp on Rex, Rex rolls out of the way, Mongo shrinks and runs away, Rex climbs out of hole in ground breathing heavily and falls to ground.]''
:'''Guy in suit:''' ''[walks up]'' Are you kidding me? You still haven't delivered that script? ''[Rex runs off]''
:'''Guy in suit:''' Nixon! ''[points in other direction, Rex runs that way]''
:''[Mongo jumps off roof grows huge lands on Rex, grabs script.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey, gimme that! ''[grabs Mongo with big fist throws him into a stage building]''
:''[Rex looks in the hole into the stage.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Sorry. ''[runs off after Mongo]''
:''[Mongo throws him higher than the roof tops, Rex lands on big feet, Mongo tackles him. Rex lands in front of the post building, grabs remains of script out of Mongo's mouth. Mongo runs away, Rex gathers script remains and hands it to man at post door.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I think this is for you. ''[runs after Mongo]''
:''[Phone rings]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Did you catch it?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Not yet, but I delivered a script for you, well, most of it.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' I am so dead.
:'''Lady with clipboard:''' ''[grabs Rex by the collar]'' Noah Nixon, you're right on time for your two p.m. tour. ''[Gives Rex clipboard and keys]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[Driving tram with tourists]'' Uh, there's a building where some TV shows are made and there's another one and oh great there's the giant killer EVO.
:''[Mongo chasing tram, Rex steps on gas. Tram goes sloooow. Mongo attacks tram. Rex lands, catches tourists with big hands, flies off on hoverboard]''
:'''Tourist:''' They had better special effects at my kids' school play.
:''[Back on soap opera stage]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' I need a bigger reaction from you. Bigger!
:''[Rex crashes through ceiling with Mongo hanging on the bottom of his hoverboard, heading towards Isabella.]''
:''[Isabella screams and covers head, Mongo crashes into set]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' Yes! That's it exactly!
:''[Mongo growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Be careful or you're gonna get the hand. ''[big fists with right hand. Mongo jumps at him, Rex grins and raises his left hand and cures Mongo. Mongo lays on ground cute and unconscious.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' That's not the hand I meant.
:''[Actors, stunned, applaud]''
:''[Rex picks up Mongo.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' You are a good page, Noah Nixon.
:''[Mongo wakes up runs around on Rex and perches on his shoulder cutely.]''
:''[At supply closet with Noah, Rex walks in holding torn up jacket]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Oh, my jacket! ''[Cuddles jacket, then holds it up and glares at Rex through the hole in it. Rex grins guiltily.]''
:''[Head Page walks in, Noah hides jacket, then realizes he is in underwear and tries to hide himself behind jacket.]''
:'''Head Page:''' I got a dozen calls from all over the lot about you, Nixon. I don't know what you were thinking. ''[He sits down, sweat runs down his face, he closes his eyes, frowns, runs head away. Head page grabs him and hugs him.]''
:'''Head Page:''' I'm proud of you, kiddo! It took me sixty seven years to make chief page. I bet you'll get the job in half that time. ''[Noah stands up holding jacket in front of him. Rex and Noah look puzzled Head Page walks to door, turns back]''
:'''Head Page:''' Oh and them soap opera fellas, eh, they got a special reward for you. ''[they look at each other with puzzled frowns]''
:''[Telenovela stage, Noah dressed as Reynaldo. Isabella kisses him.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' And cut! You look differante than you did before, Noah Nixon. ''[Noah looks up at his blond eyebrows and takes off the wig and mustache. Smiles at Reynaldo. Reynaldo looks at him thoughtfully.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' I can see you've been to makeup. Good you finally look like a real man! ''[Noah smiles.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' [peeking in from backstage, makes a jealous face as Noah is laughing together with the actors.] It's OK, it's OK. You're a good friend, you're a good friend.
:'''Guy in suit:''' You! Quit talking to yourself and get me some coffee! ''[Rex runs off]'' Nixon!
:''[Mongo looking down from rafters]''

===Riddle of the Sphinx===
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' They uncovered the tunnel during routine sewer work. No one has set foot in here in over 3.500 years.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Providence doesn't work the location yet?
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' ''[laughs]'' The antiquities comission does not like this Black Knight. They keep her busy with much paperwork.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The maze looks like it extends for miles. They do that to keep looters out?
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' Or to keep something in.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Anything that was trapped in here couldn't be alive after all this time.
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' I-I-I must go.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''': Watch out! Bobby traps.
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' That's not what I'm afraid of.
:'''Bobo:''' It's only been a few days since we heard from Holiday.
:'''Six:''' Something's wrong.
:'''Bobo:''' Maybe she wanted a vacation from you clowns. &quot;Something's wrong.&quot;
:''[Bobo grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Providence! She in is trouble.
:'''Six:''' Black Knight. And she has your better half.
:'''Bobo:''' I'm predictin' an awkward situation.
:'''Black Knight:''' Hello, Rex. If you came for your friend, I'll have to disappoint you.
:'''Rex:''' That hairy creep? You can keep the traitor. Hey! My faithful guide, why don't you go away while we discuss business?
:'''Bobo:''' It's me, you dopey tin can! Beat it! Or the boss lady's gonna get wise to our little switcheroo.
:'''Rex:''' What's the campout for?
:'''Black Knight:''' Routine scientific research.
:'''Rex:''' Look, I know Holiday was here. What'd you do with her?
:'''Black Knight:''' We arrived an hour ago. The locals say Holiday unleashed a monster down in the tunnels. The situation's under control. As soon as we've secured the tunnels, I'll send a team in to see if she's still alive.
:'''Rex:''' I'm going with you.
:'''Black Knight:''' You're going nowhere. You quit Providence. Unless you're recosindering?
:'''Rex:''' Come on, guide. Holiday's in those tunnels. But Black Knight has a whole battalion of Providence goons guarding the entrance.
:'''Six:''' I figured she'd be no help. That's why I found someone who knows a back way in.
:'''Egyptian Cooker:''' The Kushari is healthy. For the stomach, good.
:'''Rex:''' Enough about the Kushari! Where's the back entrance?
:'''Egyptian Cooker:''' For so young, you in such a hurry. And old cook like me, I live by selling Kushari. Why not buy some? You buy, I give you more information.
:'''Bobo:''' Ah, come on. Stop bein' so stingy. Buy some more.
:'''Six:''' Where's the back entrance?
:'''Egyptian Cooker:''' The sewer man-- They came to fix a leak. They found the tunnel to the entrance in my basement.
:'''Bobo:''' Mmm!
:'''Rex:''' Way cool! Maybe we'll see some mummies!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Tell us where Holiday is!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Where do you think I am?
:'''Six:''' Holiday!
:'''Bobo:''' So, what's with the halloween get up, doc?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I found it in one of the chambers. Scares off the curious. I need to get to the bottom of all this before Black Knight.
:'''Rex:''' The bottom of what? This is all ancient history?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You can this ancient history?
:'''Rex:''' That looks like a nanite!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That's because it is a nanite.
:'''Six:''' How could they have knowledge back then?
:'''Rex:''' Aliens! Like the ones that built the pyramids.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' None of this is more advanced that the 21st century. It's not aliens. I think the answers lie behind this door. But I can't figure out how to open it.
:'''Rex:''' Open the door? No problem, Doc!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Stop! This whole place is booby-trapped. We open this wrong, they'll bring the tunnels down on us.
:'''Rex:''' If there's a wrong way to open it, then that means there's a right way, too. Maybe the nanite picture is a clue. The whole thing is rigged like one. Told you-- No prob. Whoa, mumies.
:'''Bobo:''' What are you lookin' at, beautiful?
:'''Rex:''' Ha! Awesome! I'd love to see the look on Knight's face when she finds out we've beat her here.
:'''Black Knight:''' Then let me step a little closer so you can see.
:'''Six:''' How'd you find us?
:'''Black Knight:''' Your mole helped me.
:'''Bobo:''' Sorry, pal.
:'''Black Knight:''' I should have known better. It's old junk from the dead.
:''[Black Knight gasps]''
:'''Guranset:''' Gharun Set is not dead.
:'''Rex:''' Put her down!
:'''Black Knight:''' This isn't the time for violence. Our host has forgotten his manners. I presume he hasn't had guests in a long time.
:'''Guranset:''' Almost an eternity. Gharun Set said has waited for his release. Awaken this cursed prison through the ages.
:'''Black Knight:''' You speak English. That is interesting. Who taught your own language, Gharun Set?
:'''Guranset:''' I was taught by the great father.
:'''Black Knight:''' Father? What did he look me?
:'''Guranset:''' He is dead-- As all of you soon shall be!
:'''Black Knight:''' Now's the time for violence.
:'''Guranset:''' Aah!
:'''Black Knight:''' A nanite disrupter. Something I had your brother's lab whip up. It's quite lethal.
:'''Rex:''' Looks like the lab forgot to tell him that.
:'''Guranset:''' The boy controls the engines of life? It can't be. I laid low the armies of six kingdoms, swordsman. You think your tiny blades can stop me?
:'''Rex:''' Try this one for size!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex!
:'''Rex:''' Huh?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' His staff is a nanite disrupter. Get it away from him.
:'''Rex:''' Easier said than done!
:'''Guranset:''' Haah!
:'''Rex:''' Oh, mummies!
:'''Bobo:''' Yeah, yeah, you got your mummies. I hope you're happy!
:'''Six:''' Rex! We can handle this! He's getting away!
:'''Guranset:''' One last trap to keep me imprisoned, father. Nothing will keep me from my destiny! You serve his plan, child, and don't even know it.
:'''Rex:''' Everybody talk weird in ancient Egypt, or it is just your special thing? Uh... are they supposed to do that?
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Guranset:''' Finally! I am free!
:'''Six:''' These EVO's won't say dead.
:'''Bobo:''' Their breath stinks, too! Ah, boy!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You could thank me for saving your life.
:'''Black Knight:''' Dr. Holiday, our lives are not safe yet.
:'''Guranset:''' I am not alone. Together, we shall reconquer this land, and then.. the world!
:'''Rex:''' Uh, I think the sun's baked him loopy. You can't reanimate that. It's a statue.
:'''Guranset:''' This is not statue, child. It is a tomb. Arise, my mighty steed. Arise, my sphinx!
:'''Rex:''' Providence, this is Rex. You may want to evacuate Cairo.
:'''Guranset:''' This city is a blight upon my kingdom. All shall be as it once was.
:'''Rex:''' I'm warning you, Gharun Set-- I don't want to have to get rough with you. Step off the pussycat.
:'''Guranset:''' You presume to tell a pharaoph what to do. Be gone!
:'''Six:''' Holiday. There's something I want to tell you before it's too late.
:'''Bobo:''' Ugh. Hold still! Oh, no.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' All of them. Like the nanites keeping them alive... self-destructed? I'm sorry. What were you going to say?
:'''Six:''' Holiday... I, uh...
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hold that thought.
:'''Bobo:''' What's it gonna be, the kooky chicks or we go help Rex save the world?
:'''Six:''' Rex probably has this under control. Holiday needs my-- our help.
:'''Bobo:''' Yeah, I can't resist a good catfight either.
:'''Rex:''' Let me handle! This it's too dangerous!
:'''Pilot:''' Black Knight, target sighted. It's riding a 50-foot-tall house cat. Please advise.
:'''Black Knight:''' Do not harm. Contain and capture. We need that specimen.
:''[Black Knight gasps]''
:'''Black Knight:''' Pilot disregard. Last order. Target no longer needed. Destroy. Repeat-- Destroy.
:'''Pilot:''' You're with the lady. Lock and load.
:'''Rex:''' Huh? Whoa! Get out of here! I don't know what he's up to, but it's not good.
:'''Garunset:''' Behold the majesty of my dream. My kingdom! My paradise!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' What is this place?
:'''Black Knight:''' It's the stuff of legends. The fabled hall of records which lay hidden beneath where the sphinx once was.
:'''Bobo:''' &quot;Was&quot;?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' This can't be! That's the helix splitter. And that looks like a nano-flux inducer. Caesar built the first prototype of one last year.
:'''Black Knight:''' I can't let you touch any of this. It's too unstable with age. When you blundered in the tomb, you set off a safeguard. Someone thought this room too dangerous for the world to know about.
:'''Bobo:''' Agreed. Let's scram!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' We can't! Don't you know what this means to science? The knowledge in here is invaluable. It cannot be lost-- Again!
:'''Black Knight:''' It won't be! Now that we know where it is, we can dig it out later. We will study it. I promise you that.
:'''Six''': Holiday. Let it go.
:'''Guranset''': As father promised-- I will rule forever.
:'''Rex''': Forever is gonna be shorter than you think.
:'''Guranset''': No! Nooooo!
:'''Rex''': Aw, come on! I didn't hit you that hard!
:''[Guranset gasps]''
:'''Rex''': What's happening to you?
:''[Guranset gasps]''
:'''Guranset''': Aaaaaaaaah!
:''[Guranset grunts]''
:'''Guranset''': Do not touch your pharaoh.
:'''Rex''': You need help. Your nanites are dying of old age-- I think. It's like starting an old car. Uh, o-or a camel. Let me help you. I can fix your nanites, and then maybe--
:'''Guranset''': Lies!
:'''Rex''': You're in a strange time, a strange place. We have science, machines. We can help you. Trust us.
:'''Guranset''': Like you trust the woman you call Black Knight? I see now this is a world of lies. You and I have no place in it. Father told me of you... Rex.
:'''Rex:''' What? How do you know my--
:'''Guranset''': I would have helped the world. Ended the hunger, the wars. But now he will return. Avenge me. ''[Echoing]'' I see now this is a world of lies. You and I have no place in it.
&lt;hr width80/&gt;
:'''Black Knight:''' You wanted something?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The hall of records-- You can't keep it a secret. It must be studied. That hall--
:'''Black Knight:''' What hall?
:'''Rex:''' Why'd you do that?! Holiday said--
:'''Black Knight:''' Some secrets are best left buried under the sands, Rex.
:''[Dr. Holiday grunts]''
:'''Black Knight:''' Gentleman. Dr. Holiday.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six, what'd you want to tell me back in the tomb?
:'''Six:''' It can wait.
:'''Rex:''' Don't wait too long.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' All those priceless artifacts. And we still don't know who created Gharun Set.

===Guy vs. Guy===
:'''Rex:''' This means war.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Double Vision===
: ''[The episode starts as a butterfly flies through plants in a flower shop. Suddenly, Rex is thrown into the shop window, making nearby civilians run away. Rex gets up and looks out of the broken glass, seeing a beastly plant EVO, a few people watching, and Agent Six slashing his swords around to evade the EVO's tentacles.]''
: '''Rex:''' ''[Pants and brushes leaves off his sleeve and puts on goggles.]'' Not bad!
: ''[Uses the Punk Busters to jump out of the shop and generates his Smack Hands to uppercut the EVO, causing it to crash into a nearby building.]'' But I'm better!
: ''[The EVO gets out of the glass windows and roars, attacking Agent Six.]''
: '''Agent Six:'''	''[Cuts off a tentacle and walks towards Rex.]'' Talk is cheap, Rex. Prove it.
: '''Rex:''' ''[Generating the Smack Hands.]'' No problemo.
: ''[The EVO rushes towards Rex, unfortunately, Rex grabs it and slams it onto the ground. A random girl is driving up the road on a moped. However, she is stopped as the EVO blocks the path.]''
: '''Rex:''' ''[Putting his hands up to assure the girl.]'' Nothing to worry about, I've got this handled. ''[Turns to EVO, whom is still on the floor.]'' Okay big guy, say adiós to those nasty nanites.
: '''Rex:''' ''[Rex kneels down to cure the EVO, flowers spout out of the EVO]'' Aw, for me? Does this mean we're dating?
: ''[Suddenly, the flowers shoot out some goo into Rex's face, making him slam onto the floor, a crowd forms around the battle.]''
: '''Rex:''' ''[Yelps while getting up and pulls his goggles off and wipes the goo off his face.]'' Oh, that's better. ''[He gives his goggles to the random female on the moped]'' Hey! Watch these for me. ''[Runs back into battle and generates the Punk Busters and kicks the blacked out EVO over a building.]'' Goal! Hey thanks for holding onto my...huh?...
: ''[Rex turns around to see the girl missing from the crowd. Deforming his Punk Busters, he spots the girl riding away on her moped. She turns to look back at Rex, appearing to have on his goggles.]''
: '''Rex:''' Goggles!
: ''[Rex puts one of his hands up to signal for her to wait, but the EVO returns and wraps its tentacle around Rex's neck. The EVO twists Rex in mid-air in the sky for a minute before slamming him onto the cement. Rex gets up and sees the goggle girl riding away out of sight.]''
: '''Rex:''' Hey! You've got my...ungh...goggles... Aah! Ungh! Did you see that girl?! She stole my goggles!
: '''Agent Six:''' Priorities, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' They are my priority, Six. I can pound EVOs any day. Those goggles are-- Ah, great. Who invited her?
: '''Black Knight:''' Stand down, gentlemen. We've got this covered.
: '''Rex:''' We don't need any help. Whoa! Whoa! Ungh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Obviously. Control collar-- Now. We'll take it from here.
: '''Rex:''' Take it from whe-e-re?! I've already got this under contro-o-o-o-l! Whoa! Ugh! Let me try to cure it.
: '''Black Knight:''' The new Providence protocol is to confine, constrain and control. If curing is an option, it will be considered-- At my discretion.
: '''Rex:''' Control? I can cure it now and end this.
: '''Black Knight:''' The offer still stands. If you want to come back to Providence, you can continue your mission.
: '''Rex:''' I have my mission!
: '''Black Knight:''' Curing every EVO on Earth isn't a mission, Rex. It's an impossibility.
: '''Rex:''' Watch me.
: '''Black Knight:''' Everybody back! Contain those seedlings!
: '''Rex:''' You just made it worse! Now I've got to clean up your mess. Starting with this guy. See? Fearing works!
: '''Black Knight:''' It was your actions that exacerbated this situation. I want full containment and control over those seedlings. Move out-- Now.
: '''Agent Six:''' While you were arguing, Holiday found another sprout. Let's go deal with that before Providence does.
: '''Rex:''' But-- My goggles!
: '''Agent Six:''' Focus, Rex. We've got work to do.
: '''Rex:''' Nice work!
: '''Agent Six:''' Drop in the bucket. Look below.
: '''Rex:''' Wow. And I thought I'd be able to knock off early today.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' On the contrary, Rex. By overlaying current worldwide wind patterns on top of international population centers, we're looking at total global infestation within thirty-eight hours.
: '''Bobo:''' Ooh, that's a lot of roughage.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' I need to get in the field and obtain some live samples. Bobo and I will meet you at the rendezvous point in the mobile command center.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, doc. We're almost there. Hey! It's that girl! Wh-o-o-o-oa!
: '''Agent Six:''' What's gotten into you, Rex?
: '''Rex:''' My goggles-- I can't see without them!
: '''Agent Six:''' Obviously, you can see without them.
: '''Rex:''' Well, yeah, but I really need them a lot of the time. Don't you remember when I first got them?
: '''Agent Six:''' Actually, no.
: '''Rex:''' Oh. Sorry. My bad. It was early on, when I was just learning to control my powers. Whoa!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Aaaah! Aah! Aaaaah! Oof!
: '''Agent Six:''' Horse manure.
: '''Rex:''' This is exactly why I need my goggles! Hey! I thought this thing was just a sprout!
: '''Agent Six:''' It's the nature of plants to grow.
: '''Rex:''' Hm. Very Zen of you, Six. Well, it's the nature of me to kick EVO butt! Whoa! Oof! Yuck! This stuff really stinks!
: '''Agent Six:''' All yours.
: '''Rex:''' Ta-da! And for my next trick... Oh, and look who's late to the party.
: '''Black Knight:''' ''[Entering]'' Alpha team, I want you to lay down suppressive fire and--
: ''[Realizing the EVOs not there]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Belay that. Sit Ops, I was told we had a Class-Three EVO situation here. Where is the EVO?
: '''Rex:''' ''[Rex hands her flowers]'' Sorry. This is all that's left. Six, are we good here? I've got to run.
: '''Agent Six:''' I'd put those in water.
: '''Black Knight:''' Unh!
: '''Rex:''' Slow down! I just want to-- Ungh!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex:''' Huh? What?! No way! Hey! You've got my-- Ugh! Whoa! ...Goggles.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You've got bigger problems than a girl on a scooter, Rex. First a flower shop, then gardening supplies. It's getting hungrier. Gentlemen, I suggest you get to the sewage-treatment plant as quickly as possible.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Why?
: '''Agent Six:''' Fertilizer, Rex, as in if those sprouts chow down on that much raw nourishment, we're in some deep...
: ''[Plant EVO bursts through a nearby wall]''
: '''Rex:''' ...Horse maneure. Hungry? Eat this!
: '''Agent Six:''' Holiday, get to the sewage plant. We'll meet you there after we clean up.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Clean up? I'd rather make a mess! Shoulda brought my chainsaw.
: '''Agent Six:''' Shoot the seedlings!
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Okay, this time I'm going to--
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Hey! Wait! Aw, man! Back off!
: ''[Rex panting]''
: '''Bobo:''' You went a little nuts there, buddy. I like it! But... Goggles?
: '''Rex:''' That EVO interrupted before I could finish the story.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Agent Six:''' Here, kid. Try these on.
: '''Rex:''' Um, so I can look like a total doofus?
: '''Agent Six:''' You have no idea how unique these goggles are, Rex. A reclusive weaponsmith in Zurich crafted this single pair before he turned EVO.
: '''Rex:''' Really? And then what happened to him?
: '''Agent Six:''' I did. He won't be crafting any more goggles.
: '''Rex:''' Cool!
: '''Agent Six:''' These are one-of-a-kind, Rex-- Special, for you.
: '''Bobo:''' What a bunch of chimp chips! Those goggles are-- Whoa!
: '''Rex:''' Wow. That is a lot of rampaging EVO.
: '''Bobo:''' Yeah. Lucky holiday-- She's right in the thick of it.
: '''Rex:''' Lucky?
: '''Bobo:''' She gets to try out all the special modifications I made to that sweet ride.
: ''[Dr. Holiday grunts]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Plant EVO has Holiday trapped inside the Mobile Command Center]'' Okay. Let's see how you like 10,000 volts of--
: ''[Holiday presses a button, and music starts playing]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Bobo's mix tape?! Who puts the stereo next to the weapons system?! One more time-- Big red button. Always go for the big red button. Unless you don't want to drain the batteries to zero.
: ''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Bobo, your improvements could use some improvements. Rex, if you're not too busy, I'd appreciate a little assistance.
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, ain't that your girlfriend?
: '''Agent Six:''' She can take care of herself, right, Rex?
: '''Rex:''' Right-- For now.
: ''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' That's more like it. Ungh! Fine! Let's see how you like this! I don't know what you just did, Rex, but thanks. Rex?
: '''Black Knight:''' I admit our last encounter didn't end well, but I think we need to work together on this one.
: '''Rex:''' You want to work together? We left Providence, remember?
: '''Black Knight:''' Rex--
: '''Rex:''' What happened to &quot;stay out of my way&quot;?
: '''Black Knight:''' Rex!
: '''Rex:''' So now when you need somebody to take out your trash, you can just forget that I quit your crummy organization?
: '''Black Knight:''' Yes, Rex, I can, because I don't let my emotions guide my choices. I only want what's best for Providence-- And the world.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, cool. Just wanted to hear you say it. Aah!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, the EVO is too big to cure without getting to its core.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah, well, I'm not doing much good out here!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' All those vines, the seedlings, everything-- They're just puppets to the plant. Stop those nanites in the core, and you cut the strings.
: '''Rex:''' On it! Huh?!
: '''Agent Six:''' Watch it, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' Whoa! All I want are my goggles. All I've wanted all day are my goggles, and this EVOs been blocking me over and over! Hey, Bobo, you know how to shoot one of these?
: '''Bobo:''' Eh, how hard could it be?
: '''Rex:''' Load me into this thing and point it right at that EVO's sweet spot. And hurry. I got better stuff to do.
: '''Bobo:''' You do know that's 30,000 gallons of raw sewage you're aimin' at?
: '''Rex:''' Don't remind me. Oh... Yuck! Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck!
: '''Agent Six:''' Elegant solution, Rex.
: '''Bobo:''' You don't smell elegant. You stink worse than me. I'm a little jealous.
: '''Black Knight:''' All right, Rex. Get to work.
: '''Rex:''' Work? What do you mean? I just served that vegetable!
: '''Black Knight:''' You cut the strings, but you still have to fix the puppets.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' She's right, Rex.
: '''Black Knight:''' You want to cure the world? Start curing.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex:''' Whoa, man, I'm beat! I don't think I can move another inch if you paid me.
: ''[Goggle girl rides past him]''
: '''Rex:''' Gotta move! See ya! Hey! Stop for a second! Six, I'm really starting to think this girl's got some kind of EVO action going on-- Teleporter, speedster, something.
: '''Goggle girl:''' Hey!
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Six, she's not just a teleporter. She can make doubles of herself-- Multiple abilities! She's an EVO, like me!
: '''Goggle girl:''' It's the skeevy guy who's been chasing me. He was chasing me, too. And me. What do you want?
: '''Rex:''' You took my goggles! I want them back!
: '''Goggle girl:''' Hey, Einstein, did you see our logo? That stands for &quot;Goggle Girl&quot;, as in the delivery service. You haven't ever heard of us?
: '''Rex:''' Um... No.
: '''Goggle girl:''' &quot;Nothing is cuter than a girl on a scooter.&quot; Kind of hard to miss.
: ''[Goggle girl groans]''
: '''Goggle girl:''' It's the worst slogan ever.
: '''Rex:''' But-- But my goggles!
: '''Goggle girl:''' Part of our costume. The boss buys them in bulk, along with these cheesy wigs he makes us wear. It's kind of lame.
: '''Rex:''' In bulk?! Those goggles?! But... They're one-of-a-kind! They're special! They're-- They're... I'll just go now. Nope. Nope. Definitely not.
: '''Agent Six:''' I still don't know why those goggles were so important to you.
: '''Rex:''' You gave to me, Six. It was the first present, the first nice thing that I remember getting since you found me. You said they were special, and that made me feel special.
: '''Six:''' Yes, about those goggles... Apparently, according to Bobo, I may have misled you. There was dozens of them in the Providence service bay.
: '''Rex:''' I knew the story was fake, but you told it because you cared about me. That's what made them special.
: '''Agent Six:''' I see.
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, champ. You got a package.
: '''Goggle girl:''' Sign, please.
: '''Agent Six:''' It's for you. From us. Just open it.
: '''Rex:''' My goggles!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Better. We commissioned an enhanced version.
: '''Rex:''' Cool! Infrared... Microscopic... Nanovision?! Thanks, you guys. You really are one-of-a-kind.
: '''Bobo:''' Those are great, but these are me.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' I just need to hold on to them for a few more hours while I run a full diagnostic.
: '''Rex:''' A few hours?! I just got them! Aw!
: '''Bobo:''' Here-- Because I care.
: '''Goggle girl:''' They actually look kinda cute.
: '''Rex:''' Hey, doc! No rush!
: '''Bobo:''' Ain't love grand?

===Black and White===
: '''Calan:''' Be advised, we've got activity. Major activity. Stop right there, or we'll shoot! Don't make me do it.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, I know what you're thinking, but this is totally not what it looks like.
: '''Calan:''' Calan to command, tell Black Knight-- We have apprehended the intruders. Repeat, we got'em.
: '''Rex:''' No! Get out of my head! Stop it! Stop! Stop with the talking! A dream. Oh, thank you! For a second, I swore that I heard his voice. It was almost like he was in the-- Room. Huh?!
: '''White Knight:''' I was wondering if I was gonna have to send the monkey in with a bucket of water. But I thought, &quot;why should he have all the fun?&quot; Five minutes-- Situation room. Consider this your wake-up call.
: '''Rex:''' Aren't you supposed to be playing dead? You're lucky Black Knight doesn't know you're here.
: '''White Knight:''' Black Knight thinks what I want her to think. With the installation of the new regime, I suspected that there was more going on at providence than just this new control protocol. I decided to test my hypothesis. I needed time to operate freely without prying eyes. So I went off the grid.
: '''Rex:''' And from the smell of it, you haven't changed out of your suit since then.
: ''[Bobo sniffs]''
: '''White Knight:''' I've been busy. I've been tracking their operations. They involve familiar locales and even more familiar machinery.
: '''Rex:''' You still use a camera with film? Do they even make that stuff anymore?
: '''White Knight:''' What they don't make are machines like these. This is the wreckage of Rylander's lab.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Are they doing what I think they're doing?
: '''Rex:''' Do what?
: '''White Knight:''' It appears that this new Providence is restarting the nanite program.
: '''Rex:''' There is no way my brother would help restart something that nearly destroyed the world. There's got to be a good explanation. We should just ask him.
: '''White Knight:''' We can't risk direct contact. We need to infiltrate Providence, download her computer banks, and assess how far along they are before we take any other actions.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Over there.
: '''Rex:''' Just saying there's more here than meets the eye. Whoa!
: '''Six:''' Breaking into Providence? That's a big move, even for you. Black Knight is sure to have enhanced the security systems. We may be able to breach the perimeter defenses, but once inside, we'd be blind targets.
: '''White Knight:''' You'd be right if we were playing on her board.
: '''Six:''' Forgive me for doubting you.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, is someone gonna tell me what these are for? This is so not going to work.
: '''Six:''' Trust the plan.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Okay, so, maybe they worked. But how'd you get them to do it on cue?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' All a matter of timing. Assuming we get past the outer perimeter, securing the data is a completely different story. Providence encrypts all data. We need to disable multiple units before we can download anything off the mainframe. Doing that undetected is ''[sighs]'' insane.
: '''Rex:''' Finally, a voice of reason. I'm calling my brother. Took the lady with three phds to realize what I've been saying all along is right. Hey, that costs money! I'm over my minutes!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' How did you... This is...
: '''Six:''' Doable.
: '''Rex:''' Do what? What is that? A secret passage.
: '''White Knight:''' When they built the tower, I had them install, these-- Upper-management corridors.
: '''Six:''' In the old days, they called passages like these the king's road.
: '''White Knight:''' From here, we face some unknowns. Stick to the plan. Or we could die.
: '''Rex:''' What?! Me?! What about you?! Part of the plan was to do this quietly.
: '''Calan:''' Stop right there, or we'll shoot!
: ''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Here we go. Ok, I know what you're thinking, but this is totally not what it looks like.
: '''White Knight:''' Stand down, Rex.
: ''[Calan laughs]''
: '''Calan:''' Welcome back, sir. We've been waiting for you.
: '''Rex:''' Que, huh?
: '''Calan:''' Sorry for the scare, Rex. We couldn't guarantee the Black Knight wasn't taper our communications. It was best to keep radio silence. In any case-- Say hello to your man on the inside. He've got a bomb! All units, fall back, fall back! Captain Calan, do you copy? Report.
: '''White Knight:''' Ready for a repeate performance?
: '''Calan:''' Ready when you are, sir. Good luck, everyone. They're headed for the... petting zoo.
: '''Holiday:''' Here it is. Just like he said.
: '''White Knight:''' This is the Hive. The central nervous system of the entire complex. An electric field protects the inner chambers. We'll need the circuit bandage.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' I've got an idea, but you'll have to go in partially naked. We've got eyes everywhere.
: '''Six:''' Good. Knight and I will handle the encryption towers. You know what to do with this.
: '''Rex:''' No sweat. I'm on it. Just have to make one quick detour. Bro? You in here? Oh, no. No, no, no!
: '''Caesar:''' Rex, is that you? What brings you here?
: ''[Six groans]''
: '''Six:''' Partially naked. Tower one clear. Proceed to next phase.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Got it. Redirecting the data flow now.
: '''Calan:''' Anyone hear for the monkey?
: '''Rex:''' Huh?!
: '''Bobo:''' Offical pet desk. Keep your distance.
: '''Rex:''' Is that Dr. Rylander?
: '''Caesar:''' It is. Well, almost. After you brought back Van Kleiss, I couldn't help but to wonder if perhaps I might do the same for him. Unfortunately, Van Kleiss was already great in tune the nanites. As you can see, Dr. Rylander-- wasn't.
: '''Rex:''' Ok, whatever. Listen, I'm here on a secret mission.
: '''Caesar:''' Secret? 
: '''Rex:''' White Knight said--
: '''Caesar:''' White Knight is alive?
: '''Rex:''' If you can call him that. Anyway, he says... you might wanna sit down for this part? That Black Knight is restarting the nanite program. Don't you think that's messed up?
: '''Caesar:''' On the contrary. I'm in charge of it.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Commencing download in T-2 minutes. White Knight has infiltrated sector three. You're right. They are monitoring our movements. How did you know?
: '''White Knight:''' It's what I would do. Now start evac protocols.
: '''Black Knight:''' I've torn this facility apart looking for that? When I found it, I still couldn't get to it. Bio-feed security system-- Clever. You have to be nanite-free to open it. I guessed you weren't dead. I knew if I let enough info leak about what we're doing here, you've showed up, eventually. I'll take it.
: '''White Knight:''' You can try.
: '''Black Knight:''' What ever you say. You were the boss.
: '''White Knight:''' That's not a providence toy.
: '''Black Knight:''' A woman is entitled her secrets. Especially when those secrets keep me alive.
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''White Knight:''' Ohh! What I could've done with you if I hired you first.
: '''Black Knight:''' Don't fool yourself, White.
: '''White Knight:''' Ohh, ohh, ohh!
: '''Black Knight:''' You were bandage at best. the Consortium knew that you weren't the leader for the future. Stand down, old man!
: '''White Knight:''' I've got a few secrets of my own, kid. After all, this was my office. Consortium or not, it will be again.
: '''Black Knight:''' Ugh!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Be advised, they're on to us. Making for the rendezvous.
: '''Six:''' I'll take my swords back now. Please.
: '''Rex:''' What are you doing, helping Black Knight? She's obviously the more psycho of the two knights.
: '''Caesar:''' I'm not helping the Black Knight do anything. I'm trying to fix things. The day everything changed. We never imagined what would happen when we released the nanites.
: '''Rex:''' Release them?! You caused the nanite event?!
: '''Caesar:''' It was the only way we were going to save the world.
: '''Rex:''' You unleashed the worst man-made disaster the world has ever seen!! You've ruined countless lives!! How can you say that you saved anything?!
: '''Caesar:''' You weren't there... not in any way that mattered! If we hadn't--
: '''Rex:''' Hold that thought. Here, doggy, doggy.
: '''Six:''' Excessive?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Sweet, actually. Now you're overdoing it.
: '''White Knight:''' ''[panting]'' Are we finished here? ''[screams]'' Careful, Black. Your council wouldn't be too pleased if you destroyed the very thing you're after.
: '''Black Knight:''' If doesn't have to be like this, White! The Consortium may have lost faith in you, but you know my methods are right. Come back. Under my protection, who knows? There may even be a promotion in it for you.
: '''White Knight:''' You would turn on your own masters?
: '''Black Knight:''' For that kind of power, wouldn't you?
: '''White Knight:''' You would turn on your own masters?
: '''Black Knight:''' For that kind of power, wouldn't you?
: '''White Knight:''' I am going to stop the Consortium. If you or Providence gets in my way, this tape goes public.
: '''Black Knight:''' Wait!
: '''Caesar:''' Rex, stop! You're destroying my work!
: '''Rex:''' Your work is done! And so are we! I got it. Time to blow this--
: '''Black Knight:''' Stand down, Rex. Face it, kiddo... today is not your day.
: '''Rex:''' Actually, today's wednesday, and wednesday means fiesta night at the cafeteria. Getting in is going to be cake... very dangerous cake. Any bright ideas on how we're getting out?
: '''Bobo:''' I got one word for you, kid-- Plumbing.
: '''Rex:''' I got it. Time to blow this...
: '''Bobo:''' Taco stand.
: '''White Knight:''' Aah!
: '''Bobo:''' Me and Van Gogh, unappreciated in our time.
: '''Rex:''' All of that-- Was for that?! I got nanites, billions of 'em.
: '''White Knight:''' Not like this one, Rex. This is a Meta Nanite. One of several. Hardwired into its design is a program for the original Dominion Code.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Dominion Code? I thought that was a myth.
: '''White Knight:''' I can assure you, doctor, it is very real. Each one gives its host control over different building blocks of the universe- matter, antimatter, elemental, space, time, reality. With the complete code, you can control them. And through them, you control ''everything''. In sort, it's the God Code.
: '''Rex:''' The Consortium want to be...gods?
: '''White Knight:''' If it wasn't for the original Nanite Event scattering the Metas across the globe, they may have already succeeded. The situation has changed, people. Black Knight has been searching the globe for the other Meta-Nanites. She needs them all to complete the Master Program. As long as we're keeping her secret, she'll hold off. But sooner or later, she'll be coming for this with the full power of Providence and the Consortium at her back. So... if you want to move on, forget what I've told you.
: '''Rex:''' You're not getting rid of us that easily, old man. My parents died for this. Black Knight wants war, war she gets.

===Deadzone===
: '''Holiday:''' &quot;You cannot let him out of your sight, Rex. Don't you see why Black Knight wants him? He's the ultimate insurance against any E.V.O.&quot;
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Not just any. Me.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Black Knight:''' &quot;Since the search for Feakins is going nowhere, we have no choice but to become much more aggressive with Rex.&quot;

===Assault on Abysus===
: '''Diane Farrah:''' Through research and hard work, Providence has turned the curse of the EVO into a blessing. One that will serve mankind. Science and compassion have created a new future for all EVOs. A future filled with happiness and hope.
: '''Black Pawn:''' You? Seen some EVOs pass through here?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
*Rex and Circe finally admit their true feelings for one another. Unfortunately, there was not enough episodes to explore their romance further.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: ''[Somewhere in [[w:Hong Kong|Hong Kong, China]]'']''
: '''Circe:''' Okay. They're gone.
: '''Skywwd:''' For now. Get out of here, Circe. Run!
: '''Circe:''' I'm not leaving you guys.
: '''Skywwd:''' You can pass as human. Go-- Before Providence gets you too.
: '''Black Pawn:''' The girl! She's with them!
: '''Skwwyd:''' Run!
: '''Rex:''' Hmm? What's up?
: '''Circe:''' You're the only person I could turn to.
: '''Rex:''' Circe?
: '''Circe:''' I don't know. That's the hardest part.
: '''Rex:''' You did what you had to do.
: '''Circe:''' I left them there, Rex. Our friends. Providence has to be stopped. Someone needs to do something.
: '''Rex:''' ''[puts his arms around Circe to comfort her]'' We are.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Am I disturbing you two?
: '''Rex:''' No.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' White Knight wants to talk with you.
: '''Rex:''' Ugh. What's he gonna yell at me for this time?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' No, I meant Circe. He wants to talk to her.
: '''Circe:''' Providence has been hunting these down, too?
: '''White Knight:''' You didn't tell her about them, Rex?
: '''Rex:''' I thought the Master Control Nanites were supposed to be top secret.
: '''White Knight:''' She has to know if she's going to lead the mission.
: '''Rex:''' Her? That was supposed to be my mission.
: '''White Knight:''' It's no one's mission. It's about getting the job done.
: '''Circe:''' Why me?
: '''White Knight:''' Intelligence indicates that Providence has targeted a Master Control Nanite in Abysus. In Van Kleiss' old castle, to be more precise. You're the only one with the knowledge to get us in there.
: '''Rex:''' I've been there before. How hard could it be? Circe, you don't have to.
: '''Circe:''' If it helps stop Black Knight in Providence, I'm in.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, Doc. We made it. The new power suit gave me more range, just like you said.
: ''[Circe whistles]''
: '''Circe:''' Thanks, Banak. We're trying to keep a low profile. Don't tell anyone, okay?
: '''Rex:''' Good thing you knew the secret whistle or we might have been rooting around forever.
: ''[Rex chuckles]''
: '''Rex:''' Get it? &quot;Root&quot;? Uh... This can't be easy coming back here. I owe you.
: '''Circe:''' Forget it. We're even. I used you in the past, now you and your friends are using me.
: '''Rex:''' Is there some sort of problem between you and me?
: '''Circe:''' There's nothing between you and me. Just the mission. I don't have good memories of this place. Let's just leave it at that, okay?
: '''Rex:''' Fine. I'm surprised we haven't run into-- Ugh!
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Skalamander:''' Traitor! Stop her!
: '''Circe:''' Aah!
: '''Rex:''' Can you chill?! There's no time for this. Who's leading you now that Van Kleiss is gone? I need to speak to your leader. Figures. Biowolf, we have a problem. And... I need your help.
: '''Biowulf:''' I will listen.
: '''Rex:''' Great, because--
: '''Biowulf:''' Only after you. earn the right-- Through combat.
: ''[Biowulf growls]''
: ''[Rex spits]''
: '''Rex:''' At least Van Kleiss was civilized. Buckle up, dog boy.
: '''Biowulf:''' You may speak. This nanite you want-- It's not here. None of us have seen it up in the castle or the blast source.
: '''Rex:''' I didn't say up. It's down. White Knight thinks it's under the castle. Some other secure lab area.
: '''Biowulf:''' The primary chamber?
: '''Circe:''' It's under the castle? Van Kleiss always said it was forbidden for us to go there.
: '''Rex:''' You think he remembered to tell Black Knight that? Let me take it out of here.
: '''Biowulf:''' No! You're a traitor to your own kind. A lapdog to these humans. I've heard enough!
: '''Rex:''' All of us will fall-- All EVOs-- If she gets it. Black Knight is worse than you know. If I don't get the nanite out of here, Providence will take it.
: '''Biowulf:''' Providence! This is Abysus, the heart of the EVO world. Providence wouldn't dare.
: '''Circe:''' The sentries have spotted something.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. I wonder who.
: '''Providence Soldier:''' Black Knight, the assault forces are in place.
: '''Black Knight:''' The field is yours. We've secured the borders. No chance White Knight and his team will get in the country to interfere.
: '''Biowulf:''' The castle is surrounded.
: '''Rex:''' Standard operating procedure for Providence is to secure the perimeter, then close for attack. Black Knight will have snuck forces around back.
: '''Skalamander:''' How should we counter?
: '''Rex:''' Easy.
: '''Biowulf:''' You take your nanite. I'll decide how to deal with the invaders.
: '''Black Pawn:''' Deploy the collars. Rise. Forward. Attack.
: '''Rex:''' The nanite event blew away half the castle. This must have been deep enough to survive it. Huh? You hear that?
: '''Circe:''' No. Hear what?
: '''Rex:''' Uh... Nothing. This place would make a great rec room. Maybe a karaoke machine over there--
: '''Circe:''' Van Kleiss would send volunteers down here to try and get in. None of them ever came back.
: '''Rex:''' Well... That's encouraging.
: '''Circe:''' What is it?
: '''Rex:''' They're... I-I think they're nanites. They're following our lights. They can't see in the dark. I have a plan. Lead them back.
: '''Circe:''' ''[concerned]'' Rex?
: '''Rex:''' When I say &quot;roll,&quot; roll.
: '''Circe:''' What?!
: '''Rex:''' Roll! Circe, sing!
: ''[Circe uses her ultrasonic blasts on the EVOs and beams at Rex.]''
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Rex:''' We always made a good team.
: '''Circe:''' It won't hold them long.
: '''Rex:''' You think this is why Van Kleiss always wanted me-- So I could get him in here?
: '''Biowulf:''' Providence has breached the castle. We can't hold our position much longer.
: '''Rex:''' Go. I'll get the Master-Control Nanite. ''[Notices how worried Circe is about him probably not returning]'' This isn't Hong Kong. I'll be okay. I'll meet up with you soon.
: '''Biowulf:''' They've turned our own people against us.
: '''Circe:''' Let me see what I can do.
: ''[Circe uses her ultrasonic bursts on several collared EVOs]''.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: ''[Circe gasping]''
: '''Circe:''' So many.
: '''Biowulf:''' You can't stop the ones they've collared.
: '''Circe:''' I can go down trying.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Black Pawn:''' Her sonics are disrupting the offensive.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Black Pawn:''' Hyah! Unh!
: '''Biowulf:''' If we can't defeat them, we'll take down as many as we can fighting.
: '''Circe:''' This isn't one battle. It's a war. And we can't let it end here before Rex has the Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Biowulf:''' What, then?
: '''Circe:''' Tactical retreat.
: ''[Circe whistles]''
: '''Rex:''' Huh. Dad.
: '''Providence Soldier:''' Outer rooms of the castle secured.
: '''Black Pawn:''' I don't need you here, Black Knight. It's only a matter of time. We will take the castle piece by piece.
: ''[Skalamander growling]''
: '''Black Pawn:''' You are ours now. Down.
: ''[Skalamander grunting]''
: '''Skalamander:''' Rex is here. He will make you bow to us!
: '''Black Knight:''' This is all a diversion. Find Rex before he gets the Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Black Pawn:''' Yes, Ma'am.
: '''Black Knight:''' Either you do it or I will. I'm on my way.
: '''Rex:''' This place... Rylander had the same type of lab.
: '''Soldier:''' Security system engaged.
: '''Rex:''' No!
: '''Soldier:''' Intruder. Provide authorized identity or be terminated. Identify. Identify. Identify. Identify.
: '''Rex:''' Aah! I'm Rex! Rex Salazar!
: '''Soldier:''' Salazar genetype-- Accepted.
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex:''' There you are, you little troublemaker. You're coming home with the good guys. Uhh. Weird. Uh... I don't suppose you're looking for the karaoke machine? Running into you-- What a coincidence. Come down here a lot? Whoa! Missed me.
: '''Black Pawn:''' I have the nanite. Keep the boy busy while I get it to Black Knight.
: '''Rex:''' No!
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Rex:''' You two sure know how to make an entrance.
: '''Circe:''' The others are getting hammered by Provindence. They're barely holding them off in the dungeon.
: '''Rex:''' Gee! Van Kleiss has a dungeon. What a surprise.
: '''Biowulf:''' This is no joke. They might die because I came down here to save you.
: '''Rex:''' I won't let them get taken. I promise you that. But I need you to let me call the shots.
: ''[Biowulf sighs]''
: '''Biowulf:''' Very well.
: '''Rex:''' Circ, dungeon left or right?
: '''Circe:''' Left. The dungeon's the other way.
: '''Rex:''' I'm not looking for the dungeon. I'm looking for the scouts. : '''Black Pawn:''' Nothing.
: '''Rex:''' Well, maybe a little something.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Rex:''' Scouts. Classic Providence tactics-- So they don't get ambushed. Uhh. What is this place?
: '''Biowulf:''' The old reservoir. It goes to the river.
: '''Rex:''' Perfect. ''[deep voice]'' Scout to command. West wing, reservoir-- We've found a back way onto what must be the main EVO force. It's five times the size of what you're fighting.
: '''Black Pawn:''' Roger, scout. All forces, withdraw from dungeon siege. Report to west wing, reservoir. Ambush maneuver lambda.
: '''Rex:''' ''[normal voice]'' Get your troops. It's bath time.
: '''Biowulf:''' Now you bow to Rex!
: '''Rex:''' The Providence goons are contained, Biowulf. They shouldn't be any more trouble. And I got the Master-Control Nanite. Looks like mission accomplished.
: '''Circe:''' Rex, I--
: ''[She and Rex cling to each other as the castle begins shaking.]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Rex, order your friends to surrender. You're all under Providence custody. I always knew it might be impossible to capture the Master-Control Nanite in the heart of the nanite infestation. So the solution was to remove it.
: '''Circe:''' It's Hong Kong all over again.
: '''Rex:''' No. We can fight. We'll double back and-- A-and then--
: '''Biowulf:''' Go! Get the nanite out of here!
: '''Rex:''' No! I promised you!
: '''Biowulf:''' You were right. That nanite is more important than anyone here. Including myself. I am the leader. I give the orders. Run!
: ''[Rex panting]''
: '''Rex:''' They were counting on me. I don't want to leave them.
: '''Circe:''' I did what I had to do. You do what you have to. I want you to know, all this was never about me just using you.
: ''[Circe gasps]''
: ''[Finally admits her true romantic feelings for Rex in the form of a passionate kiss. She then pushes a shocked Rex off the ledge, so he could escape; and her getting collared and captured in his stead. She smiled with tears in her eyes, with the promise that she would be okay.]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' ''[burdened by Circe admitting her intense love for him and sacrifice]'' We all make sacrifices for the things we care about-- The people we love. But when the stakes are this high, who can we trust? What would that power do to anyone who had it? They attacked Abysus. What's stopping them from attacking us for these nanites?
: '''White Knight:''' They will-- Sooner or later. That's why I want to turn the tables on them first.
: '''Rex:''' You know how to do that so we survive in one piece?
: '''White Knight:''' Not yet.

===Remote Control===
: '''Cricket:''' If you think we're going to thank you for getting us out of there, Quarry...
: '''Quarry:''' I think you're going to do exactly as I say.
: (''Activates the mind-control collar on her neck'')
: '''Cricket:''' AH!!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Cricket, it's me! Rex! Used to a crush on me!?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Let them go. They'll lead us straight to Quarry.
: '''Cricket:''' &quot;Used to have a crush&quot;?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Cricket:''' You know how collared E.V.O.s follow kind of like a robot. with these collars, it's worse. It's like you're a remote-controlled robot.
: '''Rex:''' That is a nasty hack.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' Your friends are very valuable to me as are you.
: '''Rex:''' Like the new look- strapping.
: '''Quarry:''' Let's just say I had to find a way to &quot;keep it together&quot; after my visit to Abyuss. Just one more thing you owe me for and you know how much I like a balanced book.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' You'll be the crown jewel of my E.V.O. army, Rex. I may just make you my own personal slave.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' That collar suits you, Rex. Wish I had one for you back in the old days. Would've saved me a lot of trouble.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' The arcade- all those kids.
: '''Quarry:''' those brats were born to play games, which is what they think their doing. And I have your people to thank for the tech. That brother of yours is quite the wiz kid.
: '''Rex:''' Caesar would never...
: '''Cricket:''' Forget about Caesar, Rex! You know what you got to do!
: '''Rex:''' These guys will shred you if I leave!
: '''Tuck:''' We got this, Rex! Go!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' Consider the fact that you made me like this while I'm crushing you.

===A Brief History of Time===
: '''Van Kleiss:''' 4.000 years from my destination, and I've run out of of time. I've scarcely completed the vessel which shall deliver me to my own era. Gharun-Set, activate the traps-- Quickly! My greatest creation-- So useful to me, but too dangerous to roam free. If only I had time to destroy him, as I should. But I have a more pressing death I must prevent. My own. AAAAAAAAAAAH!
: '''Rex:''' Kind of defeating the whole stealth element of a stealth suit, Bobo.
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, now was I supposed to know that ghanoush went bad?
: '''Rex:''' Maybe because you found it in a garbage can.
: '''Bobo:''' On top of a garbage can.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Holiday to Rex. Are you at the site?
: '''Rex:''' There is not site, remember? Black Knight blew the pace to kingdom come.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Yet it's still guarded. And thanks to the data you stole from Providence, we know why.
: '''Rex:''' Van Kleiss back in time? I still find it hard to believe.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You were sent six months into the future, Rex. It stands to reason that the reverse is possible.
: '''Rex:''' Well, if you expect to find him here, maybe we should check the mummy museum. We're sensing nanites-- Definitely V.K.'s. They've been dead a long time.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Over 4,000 years. I'm also detecting tachyons-- Quantum particles that travel in time. I think it's clear what he was making.
: '''Bobo:''' A latrine?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' A time machine.
: '''Rex:''' No way he pulled it off! If mister ego made it back to here and now, we'd know about it.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Some of these nanites are considerably younger. That means he was there in two different time periods.
: '''Rex:''' Time travel gives me a headache. Just tell me-- Where is he now?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' The more accurate question is, when is he?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' AAAAAAH!
: ''[Van Kleiss gasping]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh! The ordeal is... draining. But now, back in my own time, I can replenish my nanite reserves and--
: '''Gladiator #1:''' Quis es tu?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I recognize the language, of course-- Classical latin. Qui-- Q-Qui annus est?
: '''Gladiator #1:''' What year is it? You dare question a captain of the imperial guard? Aegyptus is a roman Providence! Answer! Who are you?
: '''Gladiator #2:''' Don't bother-- He's clearly sun-mad.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' The dialect, the dress-- This is the second century A.D. A mere 2,000 years has passed. I'm only halfway home!
: '''Gladiator #1:''' Another escaped slave. Finish him and be done with it.
: ''[Gladiator #2 grunts]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It was all the fight I could muster. I had no way to replace the nanites I'd spent in the journey, and my gauntlet had yet to recharge those that remained.
: '''Gladiator #2:''' This one shows spirit. He'll bring a good price in the arena.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' OOMPH!
: ''[Van Kleiss groans]''
: '''Gladiator #2:''' Save your strength.
: '''Gladiator #3:''' Where you're going, you'll need it.
: ''[Van Kleiss slurps]''
: ''[Van Kleiss gulps]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I intend to. Of the mysterious force, there is no sign. Yet I sense it is close-- Pursuing me even across the centuries. I am convinced it is a manifestation of time itself. My presence is a violation of physics-- An imbalance which the time stream seeks to correct... By wiping me from existence. But of this, I am certain-- If I do not return to my own time, it will surely destroy me.
: '''Gladiator #1:''' You are fortunate, slave. To die in the arena is a great honor.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' An honor I look forward to bestowing.
: ''[Gladiator #1 laughs]''
: '''Gladiator #1:''' You see? Spirit!
: ''[Van Kleiss groans]''
: '''Gladiator #3:''' Put on a good show, little man, and I promise to make your end a painless one.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Indeed?
: ''[Gladiator #3 grunts]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I, on the other hand, make no such promise.
: ''[Gladiator #3 grunting]''
: ''[Van Kleiss grunting]''
: '''Gladiator #3:''' AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
: ''[Gladiator #3 groans]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' One against so many? Hardly seems fair. For them.
: '''Gladiator #4:''' ARRRGHHHH!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ordinarily, I'd say &quot;take me to your leader,&quot; but I believe he's already here.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Great warrior... Never have I seen such a battle. I am...
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Septimius Severus, 21st emperor of Rome, founder of the severan dynasty. And, as I recall, you poisoned your own commanding officer to get his position... And wear only boots to conceal a prodigious clubfoot.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Are you a man... Or a God?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I find both labels rather limiting. Now, then, you are going to give me whatever I require, starting with a quiet place to work. I, in return, shall ensure the growth and security of your reign as emperor. You may call me Van Kleiss.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Whatever your desire, great Vanklios.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Actually, it's... Got a rather nice ring.
: '''Rex:''' What's with this guy? Gets a portrait done in every time period?
: '''Bobo:''' Mm. ''[muffled]'' Truly a nutjob for the ages. Mm. Speaking of nuts... Want some?
: '''Rex:''' You've been dumpster-diving again?
: '''Bobo:''' I prefer &quot;foraging.&quot;
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. Nice sleuthing there, doc.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Nanites decay at a measurable half-life. I set our sat-net to do a global scan for the same frequency-- Ergo, Rome.
: '''Rex:''' Great. You scan for the next stop, we'll grab a pizza.
: '''Bobo:''' Pass. I'm experiencing inexpicable gastric distress.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, it would take months to scan the entire spectrum. You need to find the next decay frequency.
: '''Rex:''' Kind of like nanite connect-the-dots! Can I do it with someone else?
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, quiet, you! Rah!
: '''Rex:''' This goose chase just got a little wilder. My brother's here.
: '''Caesar:''' Caesar to Black. We've detected paleo-nanites. Tachyon readings negative. We're moving to the next hot stop.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Tachyons-- They want Van Kleiss' time machine. Follow them.
: '''Rex:''' Come on.
: '''Bobo:''' Can you give me a teeny sec? I gotta find the little gladiators' room.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Advances in the last two millenia have allowed me to complete my lab in weeks instead of months. Restrict the flow! Do you want to overload the power cells? Meanwhile, my own nanite supply continues to dwindle.
: ''[Septimius Severus panting]''
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Great Vanklios, protect me!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I've divulged metallurgy and tactics beyond your day. No man may threaten your rule. : '''Septimius Severus:''' This is no man... But an apparition!
: ''[Septimius Severus grunts]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' What apparition? Speak, parasite!
: '''Septimius Severus:''' A spirit of doom! Numerous sightings-- The insulare, the rostra, the forum. Listen! It comes! It comes!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Fool. It only wants me.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Ugh!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I release you. Go start a few legends.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
: ''[Septimius Severus gasps]''
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Be gone! I beg of you! Aah!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, those stress lines-- It's the same pattern we saw in Egypt.
: '''Black Knight:''' Report.
: '''Caesar:''' These aqueducts are truly marvels of roman engineering.
: '''Black Knight:''' Have you picked up the next decay frequency?
: '''Caesar:''' Oh-- That. Yes. Uplinking to our global net. Odd. These tachyons seems unrelated to--
: '''Black Knight:''' We have the next target. Scandinavia. Move out. White Knight may have people on the trail. I expect you to do whatever it takes to procure the objective.
: '''Rex:''' Shh!
: '''Caesar:''' I've initiated the same steps as in Egypt! Come along.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, we need that decay frequency.
: '''Rex:''' Just one small problem, doc. This place... is toast.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex? Bobo? Respond!
: '''Rex:''' We're okay, doc. Not a mark on us.
: '''Bobo:''' Same can't be said for my stealth suit. Whoa!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: ''[Rex and Bobo gasps]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' So many lives... It's become a blur. I don't know who I am anymore. Only that I must sail onward, ever onwoard down the river of time. Never resting, always moving. Further draining my nanite reserves beyond my ability to replenish. And each re-emergence, I am pursued by the nameless force. I now know it's personal. I am a virus-- An infection of space-time. Call it what you like. This is time's antibody. Whether I can borne home or drowned in its currents, this is my final journey.
: '''Rex:''' Hurry! I'm not sure if we here followed.
: '''Bobo:''' I'm sure.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Don't shoot! It's me.
: '''Rex:''' Holiday? Shouldn't you be at the plant, connecting the dots?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' No more dots to connect. The trail ends here. And... I'm reading a humanoid form inside.
: '''Rex:''' I'm confused. Is it a time machine or isn't it?
: '''Caesar:''' It's not a time machine. Are those really necessary?
: '''Rex:''' No way you're getting this time machine, bro!
: '''Caesar:''' I don't want it. And it's not a time machine.
: '''Bobo:''' Well, then, what is it? A meat locker for cold cuts?
: '''Caesar:''' Surprisingly close. We use this technique to transfer unstable nanites. It puts them into a state of dormancy.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Of course. It's a hibernation chamber.
: '''Caesar:''' Only his nanites were dormant. There would still be neuron flow.
: '''Rex:''' Mind telling me what that means, exactly?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' He was... Aware. The whole time, for hundreds of years.
: '''Caesar:''' He would have felt every minute pass.
: '''Rex:''' No way! He's totally a mummy!
: '''Rex and Bobo:''' Wah!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Run! It's coming! It's coming?!
: '''Rex and Bobo:''' Wah!
: '''Rex:''' Easy, easy, Van Kleiss. You're back-- Back in your own time.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' No! No, it'll find me! It always does! You must protect me.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Tachyon readings off the chart! Rex, you can't affect that thing. I don't know what can.
: '''Caesar:''' It's a field of pure tachyons. I've got to get a sample.
: '''Rex:''' Oh, no, you don't!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I'm back! Back in my own time! You shall not have me?! OHHHH!
: '''Bobo:''' Settle down, Van Winkle.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex shudders]''
: '''Rex:''' Oh, no. It couldn't be. I need some way to contain it!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Tachyons can't be contained!
: '''Caesar:''' Yes, they can. Rex!
: ''[Caesar grunts]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, it's too risky!
: '''Rex:''' But I know what this is. Correction-- I know who this is.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex:''' Aah!
: ''[Rex groaning]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' It's... Breach.
: '''Rex:''' Breach. Breach! It's me-- Rex.
: '''Breach:''' Rex? Are you real... Or a dream?
: ''[Rex laughs]''
: '''Rex:''' Yeah, yeah, I'm-- I'm real.
: '''Breach:''' I was everywhere-- Everywhen. But I was nothing-- An emptiness, needing to be filled.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' The amp pack. Van Kleiss controlled it. When his nanites were active, Breach was drawn into his timeframe.
: ''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
: '''Caesar:''' The final joining would have destroyed them both.
: '''Breach:''' Guess I should say thanks.
: '''Rex:''' Hey, what are friends for? Um, we are still friends... Right?
: '''Caesar:''' You did well, little bro.
: '''Rex:''' And you have your time machine that... isn't a time machine. Everybody goes home happy.
: '''Caesar:''' That? A curiosity-- True. But it was never our goal.
: ''[Van Kleiss shivering]''
: ''[Van Kleiss chuckles]''
: '''Rex:''' Van Kleiss?! All this for him? what, they're gonna put him in jail?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' It's Providence, Rex. That's their jurisdiction.
: '''Caesar:''' No need to worry, little brother. He's going to be well supervised.
: '''Rex:''' Caesar, what is going on!?
: '''Caesar:''' Justice.
: '''Bobo:''' Two words-- Crème Brûlée. Ooh. Right after I make a french connection.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Welcome back, Van Kleiss. You look terrible. Ordinarily, I'd say get some rest, but you've had enough of that, I suppose.
: ''[Van Kleiss chuckles]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Pull it together. We have work to do. Do you know who I am?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Yes. I know who you are. It's been a long time. A very, very long time.

===Mind Games===
: '''Rex''': Yeah, I wouldn't be so sure of that.
: '''Six''': I told you not to get involved, Rex. You're not at full strength.
: '''Rex''': What was I supposed to do-- Just leave it?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Six has a point, Rex. You're pushed to the edge lately. You can't see everyone.
: '''Rex''': Not listening! Don't worry, dude. I'll have you out of here before you can say... Circe?!
: '''Circe''': Hey, Rex. Rex! Aaaah!
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Rex! Rex, do you read? What's going on? Your bios are low.
: '''Rex''': Leave her alone! You okay? 
: '''Circe''': I think so. We have to go.
: '''Rex''': Think that's your cue. Hang on. I think I got it. Ow! Hate this things.
: '''Circe''': Try wearing one.
: '''Rex''': I have. So, what happened? I thought Providence had you at Abysus.
: '''Circe''': I got away.
: '''Rex''': What about the Pack?
: '''Circe''': The Pack? I... don't know. Things are bad out there, Rex. I've been on the run for weeks. Providence has been stepping up their capture orders. I think something big is going down.
: '''Rex''': Tell me about it. Listen, I know we're gonna want to say no, but with everything that's going on...
: '''Circe''': I should stay at the plant. It's safer, right?
: '''Rex''': Wow, that was... easy. I had a whole speech and everything.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Well, everything checks out. You're the picture of health. I wish you'd let me do some more thorough scans, through.
: '''Six''': How was it you said you got away?
: '''Circe''': It's a long story. You guys have bigger things to worry about than me... like the Meta-Nanites. Did you get the one from Abysus? Have you found anymore?
: '''Rex''': Ugh, who cares? Let's go do something fun. You want to put Bobo' hand in shaving cream?
: ''[Circe yawns]''
: '''Circe''': Actually, Rex, I'm kind of tired. I thing I might just crash if that's cool.
: '''Rex''': Oh... yeah. Stupid of me. You, uh, get some sleep. Hey, doc. What are you doing?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Rex. I was just... working. What are you doing up?
: '''Rex''': Ah, it's... stupid.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Yeah, probably. But... go ahead.
: '''Rex''': I'm... excited. Since I got breached, everything's been so crazy.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Since you got breached? Right.
: '''Rex''': But with Circe back, I'm starting to think maybe things will turn out okay.
: '''White Knight''': I need everyone in the situation room in five minutes.
: '''Rex''': So much for that.
: ''[Dr. Holiday yawns]''
: '''Dr. Holiday''': What'd I miss?
: '''Rex''': Wow, Doc. You sure got comfy quick.
: '''White Knight''': Listen up, people. We need to retrieve a valuable asset before it falls into enemy hands.
: '''Six''': What's the objective?
: '''White Knight''': This man... Dr. Peter Meechum.
: '''Rex''': That guy? I remember him. Van crazy kiddnaped his daughter.
: '''White Knight''': Meechum spent the last year at a safehouse facility... Codename: Pandora's Box... location know only to me.
: '''Rex''': Why all the cloak and dagger?
: '''White Knight''': Because Meechum was one of the original scientists on the Nanite Project. He was given a panic button in case of emergency. Thirty minutes ago-- He activated it.
: '''Six''': Providence?
: '''White Knight''': We have to assume they're trying to assemble the original members of the Nanite Project. What Meechum knows is too valuable to fall into the wrong hands, so go get him.
: '''Six''': Maybe Circe should stay here.
: '''Rex''': What? Why?
: '''Six''': She's not on the team yet-- Not officialy.
: '''White Knight''': Take her. She'll be useful in the field.
: '''Rex''': Ahem. You guys forget you key? Did you check under the mat?
: '''Six''': Rex, focus on the mission. Get to Meechum!
: '''Rex''': Relax, Six. I could take these guys in my sleep, especially with help from... Huh? Circe? Uh... Time-out?
: '''Six''': Peter Meechum, you need to come with us.
: ''[Dr. Meechum scoffs]''
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Took you long enough.
: '''Rex''': Time in.
: '''White Knight''': Still no sign of Circe, Rex. We'll keep looking, but for right now, Meechum is our top priority.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': We'll find her, Rex. Don't worry.
: '''White Knight''': In the meantime, Dr. Meechum, I've checked, and your daughter is safe at her boarding school in England.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': My daughter. Right.
: '''White Knight''': We can make immediate arrangements to take you to her.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': No, I'd rather stay with you if that's all right. It's, uh-- It's safer.
: '''White Knight''': Of course. White Knight out.
: '''Rex''': So, after that, Providence attacked Abysus to get the Master-Control Nanite. Guess you were next on their list.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': I see. And all this happened in the last year?
: '''Six''': You've missed a lot since you've been away, doctor.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Horrible. I could never work for a Providence like that. I have to say it's all very impressive. Providence has certainly done a lot in the last year.
: '''Caesar''': And with your help, doctor, we can do more.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Where's White Knight? I should tell him I've arrived.
: '''Black Knight''': I can answer that for you. It's good to have you back, doctor.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': What happened to White?
: '''Black Knight''': Just a routine change in command. Nothing to worry about. If you'll excuse me, gentlemen.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Tell me you have my money ready.
: '''Black Knight''': You get away you want when I get what I want... Not before.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Relax.
: '''Six''': I'm a professional, aren't I?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Six, see Meechum? I have some data I'd like to go over with him. Are you... okay?
: '''Six''': Rebecca, I have something important to tell you.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Okay. Well... Thanks for tell me.
: '''Six''': Rex, are you in here? I do not understand this show.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Am I interrupting?
: '''Six''': Not at all. What can I do for you?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Nothing important. I just wanted to say... earlier... that was nice. Unexpected but nice. 
: '''Six''': Earlier?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': In the lab?
: '''Six''': I have no idea what you're talking about.
: ''[Dr. Holiday scoffs]''
: '''Rex''': Six, I need to talk to you about Circe. Uh... Six? Earth to agent guy. You okay?
: '''Six''': I'm fine. I've just decided not to waste any more time on you, Rex.
: '''Rex''': Um... Is this because I accidentaly used your swords to slice a pizza?
: '''Six''': It's because you're weak. You don't have what it takes to complete the mission.
: '''Rex''': Ohh, I get it. This is one of your test, right?
: '''Six''': No test. Just me coming to my senses. You're not strong enough to survive what's coming. In the end, you're gonna let us all down.
: ''[Dr. Holiday crying]''
: '''Rex''': Doc? What's wrong?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': ''[Sobbing]'' I-It's nothing, Rex. I didn't want you to see me like this.
: '''Rex''': Well, what is it?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': ''[Sobbing]'' It's Six. I'm afraid of him.
: '''Rex''': What?! That's crazy talk.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': ''[Sobbing]'' Is it? You have to have seen it. He's violent, on edge. He's losing control.
: '''Rex''': Are we talking about the same Six?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': We don't even known him. He was a killer, Rex. The old Six might have changed, but how do we know this Six didn't come back... Wrong?
: ''[Dr. Meechum whistling]''
: '''Dr. Meechum''': I have a question. How do you plan to re-create the project without a bio-interface expert?
: '''Caesar''': Oh, but we do have one.
: '''Van Kleiss''': No! The string doesn't work. Gordian knot, tied up tight. Alexander cheated. Can't cheat. Eyes on your own paper! Peter? No! Can't be! Different time, different me.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Van Kleiss? You brought back that monster?
: '''Caesar''': Of course. He was the original interface programmer. Who better?
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Excuse me a moment. White, what the heck is going on?!
: '''White Knight''': Peter? Where are you?
: '''Dr. Meechum''': I'm at Providence. Where are you?
: '''White Knight''': Providence. But that's not... I have to go. We have a problem.
: '''Rex''': You're darn right we have a problem, because this isn't Peter Meechum!
: ''[Dr. Meechum laughing maniacally]''
: '''Scarecrow''': Heya, Rex. Miss me?
: '''Rex''': Who are you? Where's Meechum?
: '''White Knight''': His name's John Scarecrow. He's an EVO, specialist in infiltration. Black Knight played us.
: '''Scarecrow''': You really don't remember me, Rex? I'll give you a hint. We used to share a stomping ground. We had a problem with a shapes hifter once.
: '''Rex''': You were in Hong Kong.
: '''Scarecrow''': Give the man a prize.
: ''[Scarecrow laughs]''
: '''Six''': I think he went that way.
: '''Rex''': Wait a minute.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: ''[Scarecrow laughs]''
: '''Rex''': I cannot believe I fell for that.
: '''Scarecrow''': Look at you. You're ridiculous. You think he'll come to his senses, realize his true feelings? Then what? You'll settle down. White picket fence. Little agent kids. You're fooling yourself. You're the worst of them... you know that?...  Because you know better. You really think you can save the world? None of you can survive what's coming!
: '''Rex''': Prove it's really you. What's my favorite color?
: '''Six''': I have no idea.
: '''Rex''': It's you, all right.
: ''[Dr. Holiday screaming]''
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Put it away. I'm not the EVO.
: '''Six''': We heard you scream.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': That wasn't me.
: '''Six''': Let's all calm down. We can figure this out.
: '''Rex''': Why, Six? Because I'm weak? You don't think I can handle this?
: '''Six''': I never said that.
: '''Rex''': But you think it, right? I don't see you putting down your guns, doc.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': I know it's not me. I'm not sure about you two.
: ''[Scarecrow laughs]''
: '''Scarecrow''': So easy. I barely had to nudge you.
: '''Rex''': Whatever you're after, you're not getting away with it.
: '''Scarecrow''': Get away with it?! Re-e-e-x, I got what I needed in the first five minutes.
: '''Rex''': Then why? Why do all this?
: '''Scarecrow''': Simple. I wanted to do to you what you did to me.
: '''Rex''': I'm done with you!
: ''[Scarecrow groans]''
: '''Scarecrow''': The big hero. Why do you get to forget? It's not fair!
: '''Rex''': Whine, whine, whine. What... you didn't get enough crazy hugs as a kid?
: '''Scarecrow''': You think I'm the only one you hurt? Then tell me--
: '''Skwydd''': What about us? Why'd you betray me? 
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Circe:''' You promised to protect me, Rex. Where were you?
: '''Rex:''' Stop it!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: ''[Rex breathing heavily]''
: '''Caesar''': Face it, bro. It's why I left you. Mom and dad, too.
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex''': You're your own worst enemy.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': That's for Rex. That's for Providence. And that was for the kiss.
: '''White Knight''': Providence won this round. No question.
: '''Rex''': They have the real Meechum. Maybe more.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': There's no telling how much of our system Scarecrow uploaded.
: '''Six''': But we have to assume they know everything we do.
: ''[Scarecrow laughs evilly]''
: '''White Knight''': Black Knight is coming for us. It's just a matter of time.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': So? I mean, we knew that. Nothing's changed, right?
: '''Six''': Rex, this is what they wanted-- To turn us against each other.
: '''Rex''': Yeah, and look how easy it was. We thought we were a team, but we're not. We're vulnerable.
: '''Van Kleiss''': It's Heisenberg's uncertainty principle. Looking past Occam's Razor, we can clearly see to a quantum level. A quantum level is what I'm trying to achieve, because if I didn't do the quantum level, then I can understand what's happening.
: '''Caesar''': I know you don't like this, but it's not about us.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Can you do it? Can you control him?
: '''Caesar''': Leave Van Kleiss to me.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': What about Black Knight? I don't like her, Salazar. Never did.
: '''Caesar''': Trust me, Peter-- When we're finished, the end will justify the means.

===Hermanos===
:'''Rex Salazar''': WH-O-O-O-OA! Unh! Ugh!
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Agent Six''': Be careful, Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm touched by your concern, Six.
:'''Agent Six''': It's not for you. We don't have Providence to pick up the tab anymore. You break it, you buy it.
:''[Rex growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm saving the day here. What are they gonna do--Sue me? Oh, come on! It was a rhetorical question! What was I supposed to do? The whole building was made of glass!
:'''Lawyer''': ''[Hispanic accent]'' Glass? What are you talking about?
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm... not talking about anything. What are you talking about?
:'''Lawyer''': Mr. Salazar, I'm an associate at the stateside branch of the Argentinean firm Gomez and Gomez. And today, sir, is your lucky day!
:'''Rex Salazar''': What's this?
:'''Lawyer''': It's yours!
:'''Noah Nixon''': No away! This is your house?
:'''Rex Salazar''': I know! According to the lawyer guy, this rancho in Argentina's been in my family forever. And ever since my parents died in the event, those lawyers have been trying to track down the heir. And guess who that is.
:'''Noah Nixon''': You and your brother?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, yeah, right. Him too.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Not a good time, Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Dude, it's never a good time, but you go to-- O...kay, so maybe this really isn't a good time, but this is important. I was being chased by a lawyer. No, I wasn't being sued this time. But you'll never guess what he--
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Is this about the rancho?
:'''Rex Salazar''': You know about it?
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Those lawyers have left me a dozen messages.
:'''Rex Salazar''': And you didn't tell me? Caesar, I never even knew we had this place! There might be photo albums, home movies-- I don't know-- maybe even an old teddy bear or something.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': You never had a teddy bear.
:'''Rex Salazar''': See, the fact that you know that and I don't-- that's why we need to go down there.
:'''Lawyer''': Clear!
:'''Caesar Salazar''': I can't, Rex. My work's already been interrupted once today. Although... Now that you mention the ranch, it does bring back some memories.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Really? Like what?
:'''Caesar Salazar''': There was an experiment I remember mom and dad running. If you could find the notes, it might save some time on the work I'm doing now.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Notes? Come on. Isn't family more important than-- Guess not.
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Why can't I have a normal brother? Know anything about cows? Thanks for coming with me. This is really a family thing, but my brother is, well-- My brother. 
:'''Noah Nixon''': Are you kidding? I'm psyched! I've been killing myself trying to find a birthday present for Claire. A vacation at my best friend's awesome ancestral estate? What other guy could offer her that?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, but then why bring Annie?
:'''Annie''': Um, this just kind of broke off.
:''[Annie, Claire and Noah screaming]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': AAAAAAH!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': I sure hope this isn't included in Six's &quot;You break it, you buy it&quot; policy.
:'''Annie''': Sorry.
:'''Rex Salazar''': No problem. We're here.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Are... you sure this is the place?
:'''Noah Nixon''': What happened to it?
:'''Annie''': Hey, don't look at me. I just got there.
:''[Annie gasps]''
:'''Annie''': Okay, that was me.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I guess this must be my... family.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Looks like you-- But with a 'stache.
:'''Annie''': I like you with a 'stache.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Hey, there are chickens in here!
:'''Annie''': And llamas!
:'''Noah Nixon''': Chicken, llamas-- And a funny-looking bull.
:''[Chiquito snorts]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': I-I-I take it back! You're not funny-looking!
:'''Chiquito''': This place is Durango's!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, actually--
:'''Chuquito''': No fancy talk! Just go!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Ugh! Okay, number one, how is &quot;actually&quot; fancy talk! Number two, I don't know who Durango is, but this farm isn't his. And number three--
:''[Chiquito grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Ugh! Ugh! All right, there's no misunderstanding the international language of getting punched in the face. So read my fist-- Get out of my house!
:'''Chiquito''': Durango will not be happy!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, don't know who that guy was, but problem solved.
:'''Noah Nixon''': Uh, you think? Aah!
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Senior Durango''': Calmate, Chiquito. You are my brother. I would not do anything to hurt mi hermano. Unless you force me to. I cannot lose that tract of land. Without its right of way, I will lose my claim on the rest of the county. But never mind. They will learn-- When you mess with the bull, you get the horns.
:'''Rex Salazar''': OHHH! Ugh!
:'''Noah Nixon''': A chicken just tried to poop on my shoe!
:'''Rex Salazar''': I think I can top you there.
:'''Noah Nixon''': No offense, but when I asked Claire to come here, this wasn't what I was hoping for.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, me either. I mean, I was thinking I'd find-- I don't know what. But everything in this place has been smashed or stolen. Maybe this whole family thing isn't for me.
:''[Noah gasps]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': That's the one!
:'''Claire Bowman''': Please, Noah. It just needed a little help laying an egg.
:'''Rex Salazar''': ''[Chuckling]'' What, did you grow up on a farm in Kansas?
:'''Claire Bowman''': An apartment in Chicago-- Which is where I learned to download videos onto my phone.
:'''Telephone Voice''': When caring for an egg bearing hen, remember to--
:'''Muchado''': Hola? Quien esta aquí?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Uh... hello?
:'''Muchado''': So, you are the Americans? I am Señor Muchado-- The juez.
:'''Claire Bowman''': That's like a judge?
:'''Muchado''': Sí. For all intents and purposes, I am the law in this county-- Which is why I have come here with him.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Good, because I definitely want to press charges.
:'''Muchado''': You misunderstand. I am here because of the trouble you caused for Chiquito.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Chiquito?
:''[Rex chuckles]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Your mom must have some sense of humor to name you &quot;Tiny&quot;.
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:'''Muchado''': Chiquito's brother is Señor Durango. He controls most of the land in this county, including this hacienda. At Señor Durango's request, I have prepared a legal order compelling you to vacate.
:'''Claire Bowman''': But this is Rex's farm.
:'''Annie''': Yeah, he's got a deed and everything.
:'''Muchado''': This might have some bearing-- If you were a Salazar.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, we're in luck. I am.
:'''Annie''': Maybe this will help.
:'''Muchado''': You may be a Salazar, but by our law, this land has been deemed abandoned, and Señor Durango has claimed it.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Sorry. Been sort of busy saving the world and stuff. But I'm here now, so consider his claim unclaimed, then reclaimed by me.
:'''Muchado''': It is not so simple. You would have to demonstrate you are actively maintaining the ranch. That means shearing and feeding the animals, bringing your bulls to market--
:'''Rex Salazar''': To market? What, like a... cattle drive?
:'''Claire Bowman''': No problem. We can totally figure out how to do that.
:'''Muchado''': A ranch this size requires at least a dozen hired men.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, just... uh...
:'''Muchado''': No one within 100 kilometers will help you cross Señor Durango. If you do this, you will do it alone. And you will fail.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Well, that guy was kind of a jerk.
:'''Annie''': Yeah. So, let's get to work.
:'''Noah Nixon''': How? Everything here is broken.
:'''Annie''': Uh, have you seen my house?
:'''Rex Salazar''': You guys don't have to do this.
:'''Claire Bowman''': What kind of friend would walk away now?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Uh... yeah! No way you could stop me from helping take care of these totally not-gross animals. 
:'''Rex Salazar''': Really?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Well, I'm smiling like that's what I mean, aren't?
:''[Noah exhales deeply]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': I can do this! I can't do this. Until I've done my milking warm-up.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Ugh. Hold this.
:'''Telephone Voice''': With you head resting on her flank, gently grasp the udder with the palm of your hand.
:'''Noah Nixon''': AAH!
:''[Claire giggles]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': I think she likes you.
:'''Noah Nixon''': Ugh!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': This is your home. Get in your home!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Whoa! AAAH! AAH! Ugh! This is hopeless! This farm only has one bull, and I can't even get it into the barn. And this... better just be mud.
:'''Annie''': Hang on! I'll help you!
:''[Annie gasps]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': No! Don't!
:'''Noah Nixon''': Are you guys okay?
:'''Claire Bowman''': What is it? A storm cellar?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Looks like some kind of lab.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Figures. My mom and dad were Caesar's parents, too. Of course they'd find a way to take work home with them. Probably where those notes Caesar wanted are. Might as well grab them before the judge kicks us out.
:'''Claire Bowman''': What's he talking about? I think we're doing a pretty good job taking care of the--
:'''Annie''': Uh, guys--
:''[Claire grunts]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': Wait-- Donkeys eat hay, don't they? Maybe we can use it to lure them back into the barn.
:'''Annie''': I got it! Ugh!
:''[Annie gasps]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': Well, on the plus side, at least we now know for sure that donkeys do eat hay.
:'''Rafael Salazar''': One day, these things are going to change the world, and you'll be there to see it.
:'''Violetta Salazar''': ''[chuckling]'' Caesar, please, mi hijo. Stop working for a minute and hold the camera.
:'''Young Caesar Salazar''': Okay! Okay!
:''[Claire sniffs]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': What's that smell?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Which one? Everything here smells.
:'''Claire Bowman''': No, it smells like... smoke!
:'''Annie''': Rex! The straw caught on fire, and it exploded!
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:'''Chiquito''': Hermano! No! Oomph!
:'''Senior Durango''': What were you thinking? I told you to smoke them out, not burn the land! This is my land! If you weren't my brother--
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:'''Senior Durango''': But you are. Come here.
:'''Rex Salazar''': So, you must be the brother. Hope I'm not interrupting some kind of weird tender moment.
:'''Senior Durango''': Soy Durango. And I hope there is still a chance we can reach a resonable agreement.
:'''Claire Bowman''': So, then you'll let Rex keep the farm? We played by the rules.
:'''Senior Durango''': Around here, I make the rules.
:'''Annie''': But the judge said--
:'''Senior Durango''': The judge works for me. Now, please, I'm giving you one last chance to leave.
:'''Noah Nixon''': Okay, sure! Oh, wait-- That's right. Your fire blew up what was left of our plane!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Uh, let me handle the trash-talking with the 20-foot-tall monster EVO, okay? Leave them out of this! They shouldn't even be here! It should have been my brother!
:'''Senior Durango''':  That is why you will lose your farm. Without family, a man is nothing. After all, what is this land to them?
:'''Rex Salazar''': I don't even know what this place is to me. I came here hoping to find out more about who my family is.
:''[Rex start looking at Noah, Claire and Annie, and smile to them]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': And I did. So, you're going to stop threatening them-- And me-- And get off my land.
:''[Durango snarls]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay. Here's the plan-- Stay behind me! Whoa! Ugh!
:'''Noah Nixon''': Well, there goes that plan.
:'''Senior Durango''': Hurt them. You can do that, can't you?
:'''Claire Bowman''': W-what do we do now?!
:'''Annie''': The only one of us with powers just got kicked to the curb.
:'''Noah Nixon''': That depends on what you mean by &quot;powers&quot;.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex muffled grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Not a good time, Caesar.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': I just wanted to tell you-- Forget about those notes. I realized that's not what's important about you going down there.
:''[Durango snarls]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Wow, Caesar. I can't believe you came around.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': I just realized-- The really important thing is, if you happen to find a termo-chronometer I remember having down there, it would save me from ordering one.
:''[Chiquito snarls]''
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:''[Chiquito snarls, roars]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': Ugh!
:''[Chiquito snorts]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:[''On videotape of the Salazar family]''
:'''Rafael Salazar''': One day these things are going to change the world and you'll be there to see it.
:'''Violetta Salazar''': Cesar, please miquito. Stop working for a minute and hold the camera.
:'''Young Caesar Salazar''': Okay, okay.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Noah Nixon''': This morning, I almost had to touch a cow's underparts. You think you can do me worse than that? Bring it.
:''[Chiquito snarls]''
:''[Chiquito roars]''
:'''Annie''': Ugh! I didn't mean for that to happen.
:'''Claire Bowman''': We did.
:'''Rex Salazar''': AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Ugh! AAAAAAAAAAARGH!
:'''Senior Durango''': OOMPH!
:''[Durango lows]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': WH-O-O-O-O-O-O O-OA!
:''[Durango lows]''
:''[Durango snorts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': AAAAAAAAH!
:''[Durango growls]''
:''[Durango growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Trust me-- My brother's let me down way worse. But what am I gonna do? He's my brother.
:'''Senior Durango''': It is over.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Nice ego there, but I've been hit a lot harder.
:''[Durango spits]''
:'''Senior Durango''': Those bells signal the market is ending soon. I can see you have yet to herd you cattle there.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, come on! The one cattle I've got doesn't even move!
:'''Senior Durango''': If you do not have your cattle to market before it ends, you will have failed to fulfill your deed, and this land will be mine.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Then I guess I don't have any time to waste talking about it.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Come on. Come here.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Forget it. I got this.
:'''Claire Bowman''': WHOO-HOO! Yes! Go, Rex!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': Where's Durango?
:'''Rex Salazar''': OWW! Come on! You don't move the whole time, and you can't stay still?
:''[Durango grunting]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': What is this, a western? You're actually trying to stop him with a rockslide?
:'''Senior Durango''': You? Here? How is that even possible?
:'''Telephone Voice''': Donkeys can be ridden surprinsingly fast if you--
:'''Noah Nixon''': Come on! Just give up! The farm belong to Rex. And I really want to get off this thing.
:'''Senior Durango''': You think I'm afraid of you ''[scoffs]'' boy?
:'''Claire Bowman''': Oh, it's not the boy you should be afraid of.
:'''Annie''': Oops.
:''[Durango grunting]''
:'''Senior Durango''': Ugh!
:''[Rex panting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': We sheared the llamas, we milked the cows, I got the bull to town. We did everything in the deed.
:'''Muchado''': Sí, sí. But more important, you faced Durango and won! Once the other ranchers hear of this, they won't be afraid. You have broken Durango's hold on our lands.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Wait-- You're... happy about that?
:'''Muchado''': Of course. I told you exactly what you had to do to legally gain control of the land, didn't I?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Huh. I guess you did.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Wow! Can you believe how you perfect this all worked out?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Yeah, uh, so, maybe we should get out of here before we wear out our welcome.
:'''Rex Salazar''': There's just one thing I want to do first.

===The Rescue===
:''Note'': Rex goes alone to rescue his girlfriend Circe from the clutches of Black Knight. but it turns out she has been waiting for him.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Alone Together===
:''Note'': Finally together at last, Rex and Circe reminiscence about their good and hard times together ans their romance begins to grow.
===Retribution===
===Temporary Insanity===

===Crime and Punishment===
:''Note:'' His false insanity revealed, Van Kleiss abducts Circe with the intent of punishing her for betraying him, due to her enduring love for Rex.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, Circe, you shall learn the ultimate price of betraying me.
:'''Rex:''' ''Leave her alone!!''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, Rex. For young love. One of your greatest weaknesses. After I finish off your beloved, you will no longer be a hindrance to me. 
:'''Rex''' (''enraged'')''':''' I ''said''...LEAVE HER ALONE!!!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Shadowed Past===

===Separation Anxiety===
===Brotherly Love===

===Rocky My World===
:'''Beverly:''' Oh, this is so awesome! We're seeing the Trendbenders live!
:'''Rex:''' Well, maybe not see them, but we'll totally hear them.
:'''Sebastian''': Attention! The Trendbenders will be arriving through the back of the club.
:'''Beverly:''' Slick trick! Yes, Rebecca. I know! Only drink the bottled water. No, we're not that close to the stage. Ugh! I know that's where they mosh-pit. Don't worry! Bye!
:'''Rex:''' Your sister is acting like your mother. I wouldn't put up with it. Doc?! I'm right next to her! Yes, we've got earplugs. Only bottled water-- I know! Yes, you'll pick us up at 11:00. Okay! Bye!
:'''Sly:''' ''[singing]'' I met a guy who has looking for a lucky break. I met a guy mad he wouldn't make a mistake. No loser here the weight would be upon his face. This ain't no lucky break it's just another day.
:'''Beverly:''' Hey!
:'''Rex:''' There's something wrong with that guy.
:'''Beverly:''' Yeah! It's called lack of social skills.
:'''Sebastian:''' We have to talk! You got to listen to me!
:'''Rex:''' I think they're a little too busy for a chat right now.
:'''Sebastian:''' It's me! Your first fan!
:'''Rex:''' Come on, dude. Can't you just watch the show, like everyone else?
:'''Sly:''' ''[singing]'' You won't bring me down. Yeah-yeah-yeah. You won't bring me down.
:'''Sebastian:''' I'm not just everyone else.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' You want to rethink trying to stop me?
:'''Beverly:''' Whoa! Geek in triplicate!
:'''Rex:''' More like EVO geek.
:'''Sebastian:''' I bet you're not even a real fan!
:'''Rex:''' Hey, I know their music!
:'''Sebastian:''' Yeah? What album is &quot;Bitten on the Wind&quot; from?
:'''Beverly:''' Uh, their first album.
:'''Sebastian:''' Wrong! Their third! Poser!
:'''Sly:''' Here's one from our first album-- &quot;Bitten on the Wind.&quot;
:'''Beverly:''' Told ya! Their first album! Who's the poser now?
:'''Sebastian:''' But it is their third. They keep denying their first two albums exist!
:'''Rex:''' Huh?
:''[Rex bones cracking]''
:'''Rex:''' Shouldn't you be home, making sure your mom isn't snooping around your basement? Ouch! All right, I've had enough.
:'''Sebastian:''' I know you. You're that guy from Providence that beats up on EVOs.
:'''Rex:''' And I'm guessing you're not one of my fans.
:'''Sebastian:''' This isn't over! They still need me to show them the way back. I'll make them listen to me.. No matter what! Ugh!
:'''Man:''' No re-entry without a hand stamp.
:'''Rex:''' Uh, but--
:'''JoJo:''' It's okay. He's with me. I'm JoJo, the band's manager.
:'''Beverly:''' Oh! Sly Tyler, vocals, six-stringer. Burrito Beau on the big bottom, and Leon Adler on the skins.
:'''Beau:''' Bass. Drums.
:'''Beverly:''' They're even cutter up close!
:'''JoJo:''' But Sebastian isn't. And now that fruitcake fan has become a major menace.
:'''Rex:''' You know who that guy is?
:'''Sly:''' Yeah, he's one of our first fans from way back.
:'''Leon:''' But he didn't like our change in music direction.
:'''Beau:''' Change, like in popular.
:'''Sly:''' So he started sending us nasty e-mails and slagging us on the fan sites.
:'''JoJo:''' But now he's turned violent, and it turns out he's... H-he's...
:'''Rex:''' An EVO that can multiply himself.
:'''JoJo:''' We can't handle that kind of threat, but you can.
:'''Beverly:''' Is this a job offer?
:'''JoJo:''' As head of security for the rest of the tour.
:'''Rex:''' Huh, I don't know. Putting up with groupies, great music, catering, the Rock'n'roll lifestyle-- Oh, right, like I'm not totally in for this!
:'''Beverly:''' And I'm your deputy, sheriff.
:'''Sly:''' Absolutely.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Absolutely not.
:'''Rex:''' They've got an EVO threat.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Fine, Rex. Beverly? And don't forget to use earplugs.
:'''Rex:''' Private jet to the next gig? Airline-- First class? Coach?
:'''JoJo:''' Of the road kind.
:'''Rex:''' Traveling the open road, bringing music to the people. Where to next?
:'''Beau:''' Eugene, Oregon. ''[Unenthusiastically]'' WHOO-HOO!
:'''Rex:''' Ow!
:'''Leon:''' Bad seat. Got a lot of them.
:''[Beau farts]''
:''[Rex sniffs]''
:'''Leon and Rex:''' Oh!
:''[Leon coughs]''
:'''Leon:''' Isn't the ozone layer depleted enough, Beau?
:'''Rex:''' Want to hit the streets and check out the local scene?
:'''Sly:''' Seriously, man? It's just another town.
:'''Beau:''' Been there. Seen them all.
:'''TV Announcer:''' He's currently under 3, 2 behind the leader. This is a very tricky--
:'''Rex:''' Oh, let's throw this in the pool!
:'''Leon:''' Hey, I'm watching something, dude!
:'''Rex:''' How about a food fight?
:'''Sly:''' Sorry, man. Not feeling it.
:'''Rex:''' This isn't feeling very Rock'n'Roll.
:'''JoJo:''' Rex, we hired you to consult on security, not rock-tour clichés.
:'''Sebastian:''' Room service.
:'''JoJo:''' Again? You guys, this is costing too much.
:'''Sly:''' But we didn't order anything else.
:'''Sebastian:''' That's okay. This is on the house!
:''[Sebastian grunts]''
:''[JoJo gasps]''
:'''Rex:''' Look out! He's got... Paperwork?
:'''Sebastian:''' I've got notes and visuals on where you've gone commercial and how you can get back to your roots! He's with the band now? He's not even a real fan! You see? You've got to come with me. You need my help!
:'''Rex:''' They're not going anywhere, but you are!
:'''Sebastian:''' My copies don't feel pain.
:'''Rex:''' But you do!
:'''Girl:''' Whoa! You must really be a big fan!
:'''Sebastian:''' Only of their early stuff.
:'''Girl:''' Eww! Their early stuff is weak.
:'''Teen girl:''' But their new songs are awesome!
:''[Girls giggling]''
:''[Sebastian growls]''
:''[Girls screaming]''
:'''Rex:''' Excuse me. I'm with the band.
:'''Teen girl:''' But you missed your ride.
:'''Rex:''' That's okay. I've got my own.
:'''Man:''' Rock bands! Never again!
:'''Sebastian:''' I've got to take you away from this sellout existence, where you deny your first two albums even exist.
:'''Sly:''' B-but those albums weren't any good. That's why we only had a few fans, like you.
:'''Rex:''' If there's only three of them, then who's driving the car?
:'''Sebastian:''' Aah!
:'''Rex:''' Did he... Ah! Rent that car from the circus? Time to cut this act short.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' Oh, man. I went to my first Trendbenders show in that car.
:'''Rex:''' Maybe I can't turn off your obsession, but I can shut down your nanites.
:'''Beau:''' That clone-boy?
:'''Rex:''' I don't think he's going to be a problem now.
:'''JoJo:''' We can still use you on the tour. What did you say?
:'''Rex:''' Yes!
:'''Sly:''' Good man! ''[singing]'' You see the light, and it's oh, so bright, a million times more than before, now we'll show you the door, some starts fade, and some starts shine, the bright ones stand the test of time, the others burn out and sing, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, kill your radio, you live a life for all to see, sometimes it's right, sometimes obscene, now you're the enemy, it's one for all and all for me, unlocking doors and misery, the others burn out and sing, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, out of time, kill your radio, out of time, kill your radio, out of time, kill your radio, it isn't all, that it's cracked up to be, I never thought it'd be so easy, I wouldn't have it any other way, you see the light, and it's oh, so bright, a million times more than before, now we'll show you the door, some starts fade, and some starts shine, the bright ones stand the test of time, the others burn out and sing, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, &quot;yeah&quot;.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Sly:''' At least we got a day off before the next gig.
:'''JoJo:''' Guys, a club owner in fleeceburg just offered us amazing money. I booked it.
:'''Rex:''' For when?
:'''JoJo:''' We're already running late.
:'''Sly:''' They're paying money for us to play in this dump?
:'''JoJo:''' Big money. Come on. You're on in ten minutes.
:'''Rex:''' I'm guessing ticket sales are a little slow.
:'''Leon:''' Are we breaking up?
:'''Beau:''' This dive seems awfully familiar.
:'''Sebastian:''' It should.
:'''Rex:''' That voice seems awfully familiar!
:'''Teens:''' Dude! Nobody move! What's going on? Who's touching me? What is this? Excuse me. What is going on?
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' I built an exact replica of the first club you played in.
:'''Beau:''' Hey, that's one of my puke stains. Fruitcake knows his details.
:'''Rex:''' But I cured you.
:'''Sebastian:''' Hmm... That was a copy, not the original.
:'''Sly:''' Whatever. When's this gonna end, fan-boy?
:'''Sebastian:''' It ends tonight. Check the floor at your feet.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' I've given up trying to get you back to your roots. So now you'll play what I want to hear for the next hour. And then your career ends with a bang. :'''Sly:''' On behalf of the band, I'd like to thank our manager, JoJo, for booking this totally insane gig!
:''[JoJo laughs nervously]''
:'''Sebastian:''' The sound of cold, hard cash is the only music sellouts like you listen to anymore.
:'''Rex:''' They're not sellouts. They just got more popular than you wanted.
:'''Sebastian:''' You try anything, and I'll end their last gig prematurely. You're only alive because I want you to see what the Trendbenders used to be like. For the next hour give me the early stuff, when you were cool.
:'''Sly:''' Why bother? You're gonna nuke us, anyway.
:'''Sebastian:''' Because if you don't play, this happens!
:'''Sly:''' Aah!
:'''Leon, Sly and Beau:''' No more!
:'''Sly:''' Okay, dude, what's the first number?
:'''Sebastian:''' &quot;Crawling undertow&quot;!
:'''Sly:''' Well, how does it feel?
:'''Sebastian:''' First album, seventh song. Fifth song on the Japanese import.
:'''Sly:''' To get that weight back on our shoulders--
:'''Sebastian:''' You're giving it a beat that wasn't in the original, man! Not even in the remix from the box set. Play it right this time! I'm missing the concert because of you!
:'''Rex:''' Stinks to be you. Got to cure the real Sebastian. But which one is the mother ship?
:'''Sebastian:''' You can't even play your old songs like you used to. Total disappointment. Let's end this bummer concert.
:'''Sly:''' But we still have over a half-hour left!
:'''Sebastian:''' Last song, no encore.
:'''Rex:''' Tell me who's the original, or I'll turn you into dessert topping!
:'''Sebastian:''' You don't scare me. I don't feel pain.
:'''Rex:''' But the real Sebastian does. Sly! Maximum feedback! Now! Thanks, Doc.
:'''Sebastian''': AAAHHHH!
:'''Rex:''' How do you like their new hit, Sebastian Prime? Here's another new groove you're not going to like.
:'''Sebastian:''' Aah!
:'''Rex:''' Congrats. You're back to being a solo act.
:'''Sebastian:''' You've got to listen to me!
:''[Sebastian yelling]''
:'''Rex:''' Kidnapping, assault and battery, construction without a permit-- that should keep him away for years.
:'''JoJo:''' Have to say it, guys, but we've got a gig in toledo to get to. Security?
:'''Rex:''' Not anymore. Sebastian's done, and so am I.
:'''Sly:''' Dude, I thought you wanted the rock'n'roll lifestyle.
:'''Rex:''' I'm not tough enough for it. I need to get back to something easier, like city-smashing EVOs and conspiracies to take over the world.
:'''Beau:''' Don't know what your missing.
:'''Rex:''' I think do. But I don't miss this. Yes, doc? Don't need my earplugs anymore. I quit. Will you let me tell you? No, the EVO threat wasn't just an excuse. Well, I'm coming back! Will you let-- Doc!

===Lost and Found===

===My Brother's Keeper===

===Target: the Consortium===
: '''Jungle Cat:''' You are...?
: '''Rex:''' Rex. Rex Salazar. What are you?
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Lost... and found.
: '''Rex:''' HUNH! AAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
: ''[Rex gasps deeply]''
: '''Rex:''' Whoa. That was a total zero on the fun meter.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Learning how to communicate with the nanite world isn't about fun. Did you get anywhere at all?
: '''Rex:''' Don't know. I connected with a Master Control Nanite for a second, and then I lost it. But I also got, like, this feeling that something's about to happen in the nanite world. Something... big.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Argh! This is Rylander's speciality, not mine. There's no way I can cover for him.
: '''Caesar:''' Not to worry, Dr. Meechum. You won't have to any longer. Dr. Rylander will take over from here.
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Oh, really, Caesar? From his current location of beyond the grave?
: '''Rylander:''' Actually, Peter, I was never completely dead-- just spread a little thin-- ''[chuckling]'' Moleculary speaking. Caesar's been working on putting me back together.
: '''Black Knight:''' All of them together-- At last. Contact the Consortium. We now have something to show them. Something big.
: '''White Knight:''' Even having two of the Master Control Nanites doesn't change the vital importance of finding the other three. But the latest intel I've received could give us a way to neutralize the group obsessed with these machines.
: '''Six:''' The Consortium.
: '''Rex:''' Aren't those the money guys that bankrolled the Nanite Project in Providence?
: '''White Knight:''' The same. Formerly made-up of six members, but now five-- Reddick, made his wealth in real estate and construction. Vostock, black market finance and KGB... Zanubian, arms dealing and shipping. Roswell, oil and minerals. Anthony Haden-Scott, worldwide media.
: ''[Rex munches]''
: '''Rex:''' Should we be writing this down for the pop quiz later?
: '''White Knight:''' You may be facing them soon because of the efforts of our stealthiest agent.
: '''Rex:''' Mm! Thank you! I think.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' He's not talking about you.
: '''Rex:''' Hey! It's Evo-cat guy! Uh... sorry-- What's your name? O...kay, cat with no collar, what's in the sack? Bunch of canaries? Well, that's... something.
: '''White Knight:''' Our associate has been tracking the Consortium with a little help from a former member.
: '''Rex:''' I remember him! He's the one Rylander got revenge on with an EVO love letter.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' That he never recovered from. But he's still full of useful knowledge about the other members.
: '''Rex:''' As long as you have a towel handy for the answers.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' The Consortium has financed a new facility for nanite research. All of them will be at that location within the next six hours.
: '''Six:''' And so will we.
: '''White Knight:''' A rare opportunity like this can't be missed. You three will capture the Consortium and bring them to a secure location. Understood?
: '''Rex:''' Purrfectly.
: '''Black Knight:''' Gentlemen, I wanted you here today to--
: '''Reddick:''' &quot;Wanted?&quot; Sounds like a command.
: '''Vostok:''' ''[Russian accent]'' You get to ask, not order.
: '''Black Knight:''' I'm sorry. Let me restate. I asked you here because I can now present some major developments in your quest. I finished construction on the nanite reactor and reassembled against all odds the original science team to run it. Doctors Meechum, systems expert. Salazar, artificial intelligence. Rylander, microengineering. And Van Kleiss, biomechanical integration.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Nanite's recorder locked in. Hologram Rylander saves money on meals. Glow, glow, glow, yipper.
: ''[Van Kleiss smooches]''
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' A human flashlight and a brain-fried babbler. This is what I'm supposed to work with.
: '''Vostok:''' Looks like your geniuses have some issues.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' ''[British accent]'' I seem to recall there were two other Salazars on the team.
: '''Black Knight:''' They're dead-- And just as well. Considering their actions are responsible for our setbacks, I highly doubt they would have cooperated.
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Black Pawns:''' Ohh!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Black Pawns got to talk to their costume designer. Way too stuffy.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Be quiet.
: '''Six:''' Our target?
: '''Roswell:''' ''[Southern accent]'' Little lady, I'm hoping you didn't get me out here just to watch some lab jockeys do their homework.
: '''Vostok:''' I know I've got better things to do.
: '''Black Knight:''' Aside from the all-important reassembly of the science team and activation of the nanite reactor, I do have another development to show you.
: '''Roswell:''' Yeah? What else you got?
: '''Black Knight:''' An acquisition.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Lost... and found.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' What's wrong with you?
: '''Rex:''' Forget the Consortium! I know where we can find a Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Six:''' Where?
: '''Rex''': Here.
: '''Six:''' We're doing both. You two get the nanite, I'll get the Consortium.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' On of the five? That's all?
: '''Reddick:''' You know we need all of the Master-Control Nanites to do us any good.
: '''Vostok:''' What about the two you lost? And the other two still out there?
: '''Black Knight:''' We'll have the other four in due time. Take this back to the vault. But remember that each one has its own useful powers. : '''Roswell:''' Not enough to drag me all the way out there, little lady.
: '''Black Knight:''' &quot;Black Knight&quot;.
: '''Black Pawns:''' You're not one of us.
: '''Six:''' Stay clear of the Pawns. They're not buying our cover. Repeat-- Stay clear of the Pawns.
: '''Rex:''' Steel door. A vault!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' That was close.
: '''Rex:''' Got it. Have to be as stealthy as you from now on.
: ''[Jungle Catsnarls]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarling]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Van Kleiss!
: ''[Jungle Cat muffled grunting]''
: '''Rex:''' Way not to be stealthy. Sorry, cat guy. I know you want payback for him turning you into stone and all, but the nanite is more important.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Security alert. Intruder.
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' You find the nanite. I'll be a diversion.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' She has shown us some progress. That one nanite is significant in itself.
: '''Reddick:''' It's all five or nothing. Or are you thinking of working a separate deal with the one?
: '''Vostok:''' Can we please not talk like this while those two are in the room?
: '''Roswell:''' Yeah, Xanubian, put a sock in all your yammerin'.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Another intruder at security zone three. It's Agent Six.
: '''Rex:''' Gotcha.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Unh! Aah!
: '''Rex:''' I'll take that. Six! I've got the nanite!
: '''Six:''' Meet your outside.
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Rex:''' I've got it! Let's scat, cat!
: '''Black Knight:''' If he's here-- So is Rex. Vault security, come in.
: '''Reddick:''' Is there a problem?
: '''Black Knight:''' A minor security issue. I'm taking care of it.
: '''Vostok:''' ''[Russian accent]'' You better, little lady.
: '''Rex:''' Well, mission half accomplished.
: '''Six:''' This should complete it.
: '''Rex:''' You planted a bomb?!
: '''Six:''' Plan &quot;B&quot;.
: '''Rex:''' The cat! He's still inside! No!! We've got to go back for the cat! He's on his own mission. Van Kleiss is there.
: '''Six:''' Understood.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Black Knight, shouldn't we evacuate?
: '''Black Knight:''' The security threat has been removed. Among other things. Track them, find them.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Interlace template, instal copper buffers, hold the mayo, set core temp, heat cold fries.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Remember me?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Someone let the cat in.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' You cast me aside as if I was garbage. Turned me to stone. Drained me of life-- Almost. Now it's your turn to suffer.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Had a kitty once. Not you. Bubbles liked catnip and parsnips. Chapped lips. Hip, hip, hooray!
: ''[Jungle Cat growls]''
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' If you're here to clean up, ask for directions, not Dr. Screwloose.
: '''Rex:''' Ugh! Meechum. Bro. He's here to put Van Kleiss out of the world's misery. Give me a reason why he shouldn't.
: ''[Jungle Cat growls]''
: '''Rylander:''' Because the world needs him right now, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' Dr. Rylander! How did you--
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' You got it to work.
: '''Rylander:''' I've looked better, I'll admit, but I'm still very much alive. And so happy to see you again.
: '''Rex:''' If you could bring him back--
: '''Caesar:''' Sorry, Rex. It won't work for mom and dad.
: '''Rex:''' So, you've come back-- But you're working for them! It seems crazy, I know, but look at our progress-- The nanite reactor is almost operational.
: '''Rex:''' Not if I destroy it.
: '''Black Knight:''' Surround them.
: '''Caesar:''' Trust me, hermano, We're doing the right thing.
: '''Rex:''' You keep saying that, but I don't believe it anymore!
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Bubbles, I'm sorry. Here, kitty, kitty. Left you out in the rain, rain go away--
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarling]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh! Easy on the hot sauce, Peter, Peter pumpkin two seater.
: '''Rylander:''' Tell him, Caesar.
: '''Rex:''' Tell me what?
: '''Six:''' Revenge time is up.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: ''[Jungle Cat roars]''
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Aah! Careful! Our work! Ugh! Take it outside!
: '''Rex:''' Ugh!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Rex. Rex Salazar.
: '''Rex:''' I can't talk now! Ugh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Thank you.
: '''Rex:''' You're so not welcome.
: '''Black Knight:''' You should have left when you had the chance.
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' You guys have such a great cafeteria.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Had to come back for more.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Aah! Unh!
: '''Six:''' Unh!
: ''[Black Knight grunting]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Unh!
: '''Six:''' UNNNNNNNNH!
: '''Black Knight:''' Ugh!
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Rex:''' Let's say adiós.
: '''Six:''' There's still plan &quot;B&quot;.
: '''Rex:''' We're not assassins.
: '''Six:''' You're not. This might be our one chance.
: '''Rex:''' To be like them? Then what makes us different?
: '''Six:''' Go. I'm right behind you.
: '''Roswell:''' You brought us into an ambush! Right behind you, Mr. Chatterbox.
: '''Vostok:''' You are cowards.
: '''Reddick:''' Graveyards are full of dummies that thought they were though.
: '''Vostok:''' Black Knight, we have a lot to discuss about your future.
: '''Black Knight:''' By all means, let's talk.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Where's Six?
: '''Rex:''' He said he was right behind us.
: '''Six:''' I am. The Consortium still has to be dealt with.
: '''Rex:''' We now have three Master Control Nanites. I'd say the Consortium has to deal with us.
: '''Six:''' Understood.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Purrfectly.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' I'm shocked. What happened?
: '''Black Knight:''' It seems Vostok had an unfortunate run-in with our intruders as he was leaving. But, there's good news. The reactor is gone. Soon we will have all the nanites we need.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' &quot;We&quot;?
: '''Black Knight:''' I think it's time we walked about my promotion.

===Convergence===
===Enter the Nanite World===

===Enemies Mine===
: '''Valve:''' Battle is to be waged between your courage and my power. You lose.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Valve, my friend. Lovely day for a riot, don't you think?
: '''Valve:''' What do you want, Gatlocke?
: '''Gatlocke:''' I want lots of things-- A doomsday weapon, my own private island, for my mom to stop calling me to fix her computer. But what I really want is to give you a message. It's time. I suppose I'll make the introductions.
: '''Valve:''' A biker needs no introduction. And everyone knows Hunter Cain.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Everything is going according to plan. We get one more thing. Then we get wrecked.
: '''Rex:''' Sorry we're late.
: '''Bobo:''' We're not late. We're fashionably early.
: '''Providence Agent:''' I was starting to think I was on my own. I've been calling for help, but  Providence hasn't answered.
: '''Six:''' What set this off?
: '''Providence Agent:''' No idea. One moment everything was fine. The next moment, complete chaos.
: '''Rex:''' I'm heading in. I'll lock up when I'm done. Oh, don't bother getting up. I'm just gonna knock you back down again.
: '''Bobo:''' Back in your cages, you filthy animals!
: '''Rex:''' Huh? What? You? It's a who's-who of old EVOs. Whew! Really not in the mood for this. You're kidding me. You?!
: '''Gatlocke:''' Three men, one objective, no rules. Oh, this is exciting, isn't it? Or is it just me?
: '''Valve:''' The others are saying that Rex is here. Rex will get his when we're ready.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Watch yourselves. This one's unpredictable. We know what you want, No-Face. Then we can give it to you. Do what we say. Then you'll get Rex. You'll get the chance to tear Rex apart. Piece by piece. Now we're ready.
: '''Rex:''' So you remember who I am. Surprised you have a big enough brain for that. These cells are pretty dull. Let's redecorate. No way I'm letting an EVO get won over on me. Especially a big old frog.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Almost out. Freedom is just a... Bottomless ravine away.
: '''Valve:''' The biker begs the question, how are we getting across?
: '''Gatlocke:''' You know that's not really how begging the question is supposed to be used. Are we kidding? Anyone who gets worked up over that phrase needs to be savagely beaten.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' This'll override the drawbridge system.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Ooh, now how would someone like you procure something like that?
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Friends and hide places.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, frog legs. Let's put you in solitary confinement.
: '''Bobo:''' Do you look like you got run over by an overstuffed garbage truck?
: '''Rex:''' Feels like it. This is a prison riot. Where's Providence? They should be all over this.
: '''Six:''' They never responded to any calls.
: '''Rex:''' It's a setup. Providence wanted this to happen. But why?
: '''Six:''' Six here. Go ahead.
: '''Rex:''' Wait. This bridge wasn't down before.
: '''Bobo:''' Yeah. About that. Some of the prisoners escaped together. Gatlocke...
: '''Rex:''' That's bad.
: '''Bobo:''' Hunter Cain...
: '''Rex:''' That's even worse!
: '''Bobo:''' Valve.
: '''Rex:''' That's... Really? Valve?
: '''Bobo:''' Yeah. And No-Face.
: '''Rex:''' Those four are loose? Together?
: '''Six:''' We've got a bigger problem.
: '''Rex:''' How can it be bigger than this?
: '''Six:''' The EVOs in the city-- The only thing keeping them tame are their control collars.
: '''Rex:''' And this is a problem because...?
: '''Six:''' Because someone has shut them all down.
: '''Rex:''' Let me get that for you.
: '''Bobo:''' Dumpster dog. Considering you used to ride around in the Paris, I guess you're moving up in the world. Main to your mud.
: '''Six:''' Are you injured?
: '''Rex:''' Just worn out. Is this day over yet?
: '''Bobo:''' Oh! Signs pointing no.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? That came from the track. Can you handle things here?
: '''Bobo:''' Only one way to find out. Valve. Those nanite superchargers you keep using are bad for your health.
: '''Valve:''' If I were you, I'd be more concerned with your own short-term health.
: '''Rex:''' Please, like I have anything to worry about from you. The other three, they're dangerous. You, you're just comedy relief.
: '''Valve:''' I am not. Comedy relief.
: '''Rex:''' Well, you're not funny, that's for sure.
: '''Valve:''' Like the road that continues on, so must the biker.
: '''Rex:''' Where did he go so? Ew! Get away from my tacos, cockroach! Huh? You running away? I'll give you this much, Valve. Maybe you're getting smarter.
: '''No-Face:''' Unlike you.
: '''Rex:''' I put you away once, No-Face. I'll do it again.
: '''No-Face:''' The one who makes machines. The one we've been waiting for.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Figures you try to shoot a guy in the back.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' All I see is a filthy EVO.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, first off, that Lai is tired. Second off, last time I checked, you're teaming up with one. Would that make you an EVO lover? All this hide and seek is wearing me down! Huh? Figures.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Leaving so soon? That's not going to impress the hiring committee. Now, let's see what we have here. &quot;Honor roll, A/V Club.&quot; Ugh. &quot;Glee Club.&quot; ''[Scoffs]'' I'm going to have to be brutally honest with you. You're perfect for my gang. Can you sing soprano? My last soprano drove his motorcycle off a cliff. He survived, but his voice was never the same. By the way, can you fly? This is quite the surprise. I'm willing to hire you, Rex, but you better have some excellent references.
: '''Rex:''' Back to prison, Gatlocke!
: '''Gatlocke:''' Then consider the offer rescinded! You could be a valued member of my gang. It's a tough job market out there, you know?
: '''Rex:''' I'd never work for you!
: '''Gatlocke:''' No, not with that attitude, you wouldn't. Welcome to my gang. Your first task is to destroy Rex-- That guy right there.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Gatlocke:''' Your second task is to complete harassment training. I teach the class. This pamphlet explains everything.
: '''Rex:''' No, no, no!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, come in. What's happening?
: '''Rex:''' One really bad day.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Your nanite readings are off the charts.
: '''Rex:''' No surprise. I've been fighting and curing EVOs non stop.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' We need to upload your nanites immediately.
: '''Rex:'''  Now? Doc, my four worst enemies are still on the loose. Well, my three worst enemies in Valve. Plus the city's in chaos. And where in the world is Providence? How come they're not here dealing with this?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Six and Bobo can mop up the last few EVOs. You have to offload.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, fine. But we better make it fast.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You'll be locked in the chamber for one hour.
: '''Rex:''' Just do it, Doc.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' This could be a long sixty minutes.
: '''Valve:''' According to the tracking bug, Rex is inside.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Gentlemen, this is what we've been waiting for. It's time for Rex to die.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' They followed him.
: '''Gatlocke:''' After we kill Rex. We should work together and form a team call ourselves... Gatlocke and the kitty cats.
: '''Valve:''' Silence your mouth or the biker will silence it for you.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Oh, Valve. You can pretend to be angry, but deep down, you know you're a kitty cat.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' They know we're here.
: '''Gatlocke:''' You're quite feisty. Have you ever considered a career in the fast growing field of post apocalyptic gangs?
: '''Valve:''' She has spirit. Valve the biker will see that spirit crushed.
: '''Gatlocke:''' You're Gatlocke's favorite kitty cat. Hmm. Rrr.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Don't follow her. She's trying to lead us away from Rex. Rex is close-by.
: '''Valve:''' Rex's chamber... Five minutes to spare.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' More than enough time.
: '''Gatlocke:''' I could have sworn that we'd agreed to take Rex out together.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' I'm changing the terms of the deal if you have a problem with that, feel free to stand right where you are. I've waited a long time for this. Rex!
: '''Valve:''' Empty? Or a trick of the mind?
: '''Rex:''' Isn't that obvious? Then again, that tracking bug you stuck on me was obvious, too. And the fake countdown? Obvious. It only took me thirty minutes to upload my nanites. You wanted to run me ragged so you could get me. Instead, here you are all in one place. Gotcha!
: '''Valve:''' UGHH!
: '''Rex:''' UGHHHH! I still don't get why you enlisted Valve. I mean, he's really a third-string bad guy.
: '''Valve:''' Valve is the biker. A biker is dangerous.
: '''Rex:''' Hmm. Yeah. No.
: '''Valve:''' Rrrr!
: '''Rex:''' So unpredictable. Like a third-string bad guy.
: '''Valve:''' AAAAH!
: '''Gatlocke:''' I have a horrible sneaking suspicion that he's winning.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Then do something about it!
: '''Gatlocke:''' Don't have to yell. A kind word will get you much further.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Gatlocke:''' UGHHH! Oh! Oh! Oh ho ho! Ouch! My back! My front and my back! OHH! This is total, total agony!
: ''[Gatlocke gasps]''
: '''Gatlocke:''' ''[Calmly]'' I'm okay. Really. I'm fine.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' You're lucky. I'll give you that. But you're only delaying the inevitable. You can't beat us all!
: '''Rex:''' I never intended to. This offload facility? I reprogrammed it. My surplus nanites aren't being stored. They're powering the shield.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' It's a trap!
: '''Rex:''' Have fun keeping each other company!
: '''Bobo:''' What a day.
: '''Rex:''' You know, none of this would have happened if Providence hadn't released the convicts and turned out all those EVOs.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' They did that to keep you busy.
: '''Rex:''' Keep me busy from what?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' The Nanite Project. We just found out. While we dealt with the EVOs, Black Knight got her hands on another Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Rex:''' Then it's time.

===Sinister Secrets===
===Wounded Hearts===
===One Step Ahead===
===Breaking Point===
===Behind Closed Doors===

===Keeping Hope===
===Trust===

===Terror of the Black Knight===

===Endgame, Part One===
: '''Rex:''' It was going to happen sooner or later. We had most of the pieces, so it was only a matter of time before the Black Knight made her move. And of all the chances she had to attack, it had to be tonight... at this very moment... while I was in the shower. Huh? How many?
: '''Six:''' Should it matter?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Can't you do any better than that?
: '''Bobo:''' I thought you'd never ask.
: '''Rex:''' Rah! Yah!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' If they get to the Meta-Nanites, we still have options.
: '''Rex:''' Of the self-destruct kind? No, thanks, Doc. It's not going to end that way... hopefully.
: '''Black Knight:''' We'll dispense with the pleasantries. You know what we want.
: '''Rex:''' There is no way you're walking out of here with the nanites.
: '''Black Knight:''' You seem so certain.
: '''Rex:''' We've beaten you before. Every single time, in fact. So, this time is different... How? Okay, that's different. Ugh! You're an EVO?!
: '''Black Knight:''' Do you think you were the only one they experimented on back in the day? You were the guinea pig. Consider me the new-and-improved version.
: '''Rex:''' Okay. Before we go any further, I should probably explain a few things. It started when a bunch of rich guys decided they wanted to live forever, so they got the best scientists in the world to figure out how. The answer was nanites. These microscopic machines would cure disease, end hunger, and pretty much make the world a better place. My parents and older brother were on the team, and so was this guy. Look familiar? Van Kleiss. Then one day there was an accident. To save my life, my parents injected me with nanites. It worked. But there were a few crazy side effects, like the fact I could talk to machines and, later on, build some pretty cool things. That got the rich guys thinking-- How far could we take this? Turns out pretty far. These little machines could control the very fabric of the Universe, but they would need a Master Control Nanite to program all the others and tell them what to do. Energy, gravity, time/space, elemental, mechanical-- All the things that make the Universe run. Combined together, they would pretty much make you a God. And when my brother and parents found out the Consortium was about to put these nanites inside themselves, they sort of freaked out in a &quot;got to save the Earth&quot; kind of way. Something had to be done to stop it. Turns out that meant blowing the whole thing up, better known as &quot;The Nanite Event&quot;. That didn't end well for my parents. While everyone else ran away, my parents were trapped inside. Sill not sure how. There was some good news-- No more Master Control Nanites. And the bad news? Dangerous unprogrammed nanites got spread across the world, and nanites plus DNA equals EVO. My brother Caesar got caught in a time warp during his escape. Van Kleiss got blown to smithereens and became the world's biggest pain in the nanite. And me? I got amnesia and traveled the globe living the good life... At least, that's how I tell it. The only part I know of wasn't all that much to brag about. I did get some good friends and a few enemies out of the deal. Turns out that losing my memory was a regular thing for me. Last time I woke up and said, &quot;Who Am I?&quot; It was when this guy found me-- Agent Six. He worked for Providence, sort of a global police force created to clean up after the event. It was paid for mostly by the same group of goons that started the whole thing-- The Consortium. It was great for a while. I had my own personal doctor, a chimp sidekick, a cool best friend to hang with. I was a full-fledged hero. The world loved me, and my powers kept getting better and better. Van Kleiss was still a pain, but I managed to take care of him. A few times, actually. Then things started to get not so cool. My brother shows up from out of nowhere. I get thrown six months into the future to find White Knight kicked out of Providence and this lady in charge-- Black Knight. She's been the lapdog of the Consortium from day one, and now her bosses want to pick up where they left off. Most of the old team of scientists have been reunited, and together, they've restarted the nanite program. The Master Control Nanites were spread across the globe in the first explosion, and we've been racing against Providence to get them back. So far, we've been winning that fight, and that pretty much brings us to right now.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' The Black Pawns are robots?!
: '''Black Knight:''' Total obedience at the flip of a switch. Can you blame me?
: '''Black Pawn:''' What's so funny?
: '''Six:''' I hold back against people. You're not people.
: ''[Bobo Haha grunts]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Ugh!
: '''Feakins:''' Hey! Hey! Take it easy, would you? Oh!
: '''Rex:''' Fitzy?!
: '''Feakins:''' Heh? Sorry, guy. They found me. She's hard to say &quot;No&quot; to... and live.
: '''Black Knight:''' Well put, Mr. Feakins. And thanks to his unique ability, we can set aside our nanite enhancements and do this the old-fashioned way.
: '''Rex:''' Come on. That's not fair. I'm unarmed!
: '''Black Knight:''' Precisely.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Stop! Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad idea.
: '''Rex:''' Listen to the crazy guy.
: '''Black Knight:''' Why are you here, Van Kleiss?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I forgot. Oh, no, wait. I remember. He's got a Master Control Nanite swallowed up inside him. It's been hiding, the naughty thing.
: '''Rex:''' On second thought, don't listen to him. He's, uh-- He's crazy, remember?
: '''Black Knight:''' You're sure of this?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, yes, yes. Quite sure. Do you have any mints?
: '''Black Knight:''' I want Rex at the lab. Restrain and sedate him.
: '''Rex:''' How, hold on a minute.
: '''Feakins:''' Hey! What about me?
: '''Black Knight:''' I'm not taking any chances. He stays with Rex. Kill the others.
: '''Rex:''' Ugh! Ahh.
: '''Master-Control Nanite:''' Human.
: '''Rex:''' What are you telling me? What do you want?
: '''Master-Control Nanite:''' Complete. Complete. Complete. Complete. Complete.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, I get it. How?
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Caesar:''' Calm down, Rex. You're safe.
: '''Rex:''' Safe?! Black Knight and her robo-troopers just came knocking, and Van crazy says I have a Master Control Nanite inside me!
: '''Caesar:''' Fascinating, isn't it? All this time, it's been hiding undetected inside you. I wonder if this particular control unit is responsible for his unique nano-evolution.
: '''Rex:''' Are any of you even listening to me?
: '''Feakins:''' Boy, I am. It's like a movie but real! I just want to go start pressing buttons. Can I get another milkshake?
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' How exactly do you plan on getting it out of him?
: '''Black Knight:''' I have a suggestion. Tear it out.
: '''Rylander:''' It would kill him.
: '''Black Knight:''' That's none of my concern.
: '''Caesar:''' The nanite is tied to his DNA. Simply pulling it out of him would ruin the nanite.
: '''Rex:''' And me, too, remember?
: '''Caesar:''' The only way this will work is if we put him in the cyclotron with the other Metas. It should extract automatically during the reassembly.
: '''Black Knight:''' And if it doesn't?
: '''Caesar:''' Hmm. Good question.
: '''Rex:''' Here's another one-- Don't I get a say in this? Like, isn't this the exact thing that our parents died trying to stop?
: '''Black Knight:''' Take him to the hub and prepare for the transfer. The Consortium is here and extremely impatient. I want this finished within the hour.
: '''Feakins:''' Aah! Hey, what am I-- Sandpaper? Not so rough! ''[sputtering]'' Rough.
: '''Rex:''' Glad someone can see the humor in this.
: '''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, see that Rex is well taken care of.
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' I hope you know what you're doing, Salazar. This is a huge risk we're taking.
: '''Rylander:''' Listen to Peter. The thing we swore to stop at any cost, the thing that took your parents-- It could happen-- Right here, today.
: '''Caesar:''' It can't, and it won't. You'll have to trust me on this.
: '''Rylander:''' You can only say that so many times, Caesar.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' We've been waiting almost an hour. Not even refreshments?
: '''Black Knight:''' You can have your snack after we become Gods.
: '''Roswell:''' &quot;We&quot;?
: '''Black Knight:''' That's right-- &quot;We.&quot; None of this would be possible without my efforts.
: '''Roswell:''' And our money, sister.
: '''Black Knight:''' By all means, have your contempt. There's plenty of room buried next to the Russian if you'd like to keep him company. That's what I thought. Now, if you'll follow me--
: '''Bobo:''' &quot;Kill the others.&quot; Not gonna happen, lady. We're bulletproof. Ow! Hangnail.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Ugh! We know where they took him. Why are we here? We need to go get Rex.
: '''Six:''' I agree. We just don't have the resources, Rebecca. We'd need an army.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You've been known to make the impossible happen, Six. How hard could that be?
: '''Six:''' Six here. Copy that. We just got ourselves an army.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You see?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' That will be all.
: '''Feakins:''' But the lady said-- Good luck, Kid.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' These restraints were made for you. You're very special, you know.
: '''Rex:''' Lucky me.
: '''Caesar:''' Van Kleiss... leave us.
: '''Rex:''' I really hate you.
: '''Caesar:'''I know how this looks, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' But what? I just have to trust you? Is that what you were going to say? Just help me-- Please.
: '''Caesar:''' It may not seem like it, but I am.
: '''Rex:''' Caesar... I'm scared.
: '''Caesar:''' So am I, little brother. This will all be over in a few minutes.
: '''Rex:''' It's already over! When I get out of this, I never want to see you again!
: '''Rylander:''' Commencing countdown.
: '''Roswell:''' WHOO-HOO!
: '''Reddick:''' Payback time!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Caesar:''' This won't be entirely unpleasant. It should feel similar to when you offload surplus nanites.
: '''Rex:''' Stop! You can't do this! You can't merge!
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Something's wrong.
: '''Rylander:''' Of course something's wrong. The kid is fighting it.
: '''Caesar:''' This could be bad.
: '''Rylander:''' You have to tell him, Caesar.
: '''Caesar:''' Rex, you have to stop. Listen to me. The nanites are supposed to do-- Rex? Can you hear me?
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Actually, he can't. There's a short in the comm relay.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' This would be a wonderful day for a picnic.
: '''Rex:''' RA-A-A-A-A-A-H!
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' Ugh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Ugh!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' So much for that plan.
: ''[Rex laughs]''
: '''Rex:''' Oh, serves you right. All that and you come out of the oven looking like freaks. Nice job!
: '''Black Knight:''' It's not exactly what we were expecting, but it's a start.
: '''Reddick:''' This isn't what we agreed to.
: '''Roswell:''' Where's the rest of our power? This is all messed up!
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' How can this be possible?
: '''Rylander:''' The Meta-Nanites were dispersed between the five. This is quite a surprise.
: '''Caesar:''' We've got to get Rex out of there. Step aside, Van Kleiss.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' They still don't have what they want... and neither do you.
: '''Black Knight:''' You're angry. I can see that. If you want to take it out on anyone, it should be Rex.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' I think I can agree to that.
: '''Roswell:''' Count me in! This might actually be fun!
: '''Rex:''' Let's think about this for a second. Whoa!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' How 'bout that? Exactly one second. Whoa! Aah!
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' What a perfect way to learn to use our powers-- Tearing this brat apart.
: '''Rex:''' Only one problem with that, sparky. I've been using my powers a whole lot longer-- And I'm pretty good.
: '''Roswell:''' You got any ideas here, missy, or we gonna stand around and get it handed to us?
: '''Black Knight:''' The Meta-Nanites were designed to work together. So will we.
: '''Rex:''' What? Are you gonna join together to make a robo-mutant?
: '''Black Knight:''' That's exactly what we're going to do.
: '''Rex:''' I need to stop giving them ideas. Huh?
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Black Knight:''' No one the help you-- No family, no friends, nothing. It's a terrible way to go.
: '''White Knight:''' Captain Calan, target the base. All weapons, sire.
: '''Providence Agent:''' Fire control reports they're being jammed, sir.
: '''White Knight:''' Only one salvo. Black Knight must have prepared for this.
: ''[Rex groans softly]''
: '''Rex:''' Big giant robot. Black Knight.
: '''Six:''' We know.
: '''Rex:''' Have to... stay and stop them.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Another time, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' I-I--
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Holiday to White Knight. We have Rex.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' We're just gonna watch them go?!
: '''Black Knight:''' Let Providence have their weapon back. With our combined power, the world is ours.

===Endgame, Part Two===
:'''Black Knight:''' Science has given us a tremendous gift-- Nanites. We've seen what they can do-- The good and the bad. But they're true potential has been largely unseen. Until now. Our goals are varied. Fame... power... revenge... wealth... order. Yet, one thing unites us-- Greed. You're surprised I admit it? Well, don't be. You'll never get far in life without wanting it all. And for those who might consider standing in our way... We'll let our powers speak for themselves. The world is ours. And no one can stop us.
:''[Roswell laughs]''
:'''Roswell:''' This is more fun than my first rodeo. What else you got?
:'''Six:''' Any change?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' He's sleeping. The nanites in him are making repairs. That's a good thing. He's a tough kid, Six.
:'''Six:''' I know.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' See you next time. Judging by what you fed us for lunch, I'm guessing twenty minutes. Can't even go to the little scientists' room without them breathing down our necks. How long are we going to put up with this?
:'''Caesar:''' I know it's not easy working under these circumstances.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Do you? I don't hear you complaining, or have you even noticed that we're prisoniers?
:'''Rylander:''' Gentlemen, please. Can we focus on a more important problem? The Consortium's gain of power is a troubling outcome. Something should be done.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' If you're talking about stopping them, I'm listening.
:'''Black Knight:''' I want you all in the boardroom in three minutes.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' The world is being taken over by nanite-fueled ex-c.e.o. Psychos, and they still act like they're running a business.
:'''Roswell:''' You nerds gave us a raw deal. I want a do-over.
:'''Caesar''': A do-over?
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' What my colleague means to say is that our powers are remarkable to be sure, but we only have one seventh of what we were promised.
:'''Rylander:''' You're asking a lot.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' You're asking the impossible. You'd be lucky to survive the extraction.
:'''Caesar:''' This is true. You may be powerful, but you're not Rex.
:'''Black Knight:''' I share your disappointment, gentlemen. But are you willing to lose everything for this?
:'''Roswell:''' Go big or go home.
:'''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, what do you have to say?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Easy-peasy. I can do it. It's only a matter of correctly calibrating the bio-filters with the homing frequency of the nanites. By the way, have you seen my socks?
:'''Caesar:''' Van Kleiss--
:'''Black Knight:''' Has an assignment. The rest of you... Stay out of trouble.
:'''Rex:''' You started without me.
:'''Six:''' Glad to see you up and around. Something bothering you?
:'''Rex:''' Besides black knight taking over the world? I'm trying to find my friends. I know Providence took them.
:'''Six:''' We're working on that.
:'''Rex:''' And are we doing anything about the Consortium? What about... The robot? The one I can build. Don't play dumb, Six.
:'''Six:''' Come with me.
:'''Rex:''' That's me? No way! All this time, I could have been making myself into that thing? Ohh! Maybe not.
:'''Six:''' Evidence suggest that you've never been able to control it. It's a weapon of last defense. This was filmed on the day that I found you. It was also the day I made a promise that it would be the last time you ever built this machine.
:''[Rex scoffs]''
:'''Rex:''' Or what, you'd kill me? You plan on keeping that promise?
:'''Six:''' Rex, you have to know something. We believe this is the type of thing that ends in you losing your memory.
:'''Rex:''' Well, it happened to you, and you turned out just fine.
:'''Six:''' I only lost six years. Six years is all you have. You would lose everything. I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but you need to think about the consequences of some of your options.
:'''Noah:''' It feels weird hanging out when the world is under attack. I don't know if I should be fighting back or out in the wilderness setting up a survival compound.
:'''Rex:''' If you had the power to stop all this, but it meant losing everything, would you do it, Noah?
:'''Noah:''' I don't know. I'm just glad I don't have to make that kind of decision. I guess that's why you're the hero.
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Rex:''' I wish I could get some kind of sign. Anything. Hmm.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Red and yellow, red and yellow. One false move can kill a fellow.
:''[Van Kleiss laughs]''
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' He's got local control. We're locked out. I still don't even know how this is possible.
:'''Rylander:''' I've been looking at the data projections. As crazy as Van Kleiss is, his theory is sound.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Sorry to disturb your sleepy sleep. There might be a slight delay.
:'''Black Knight:''' Why?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' We have a visitor. Should I set out tea?
:'''Rex:''' Hey, in there! Come on out!
:'''Black Knight:''' Back for more? Happy to accommodate.
:'''Rex:''' I should warn you. It's going to get ugly.
:'''Black Knight:''' One would think you would have learned the last time. I can feel you resisting me. Stop.
:'''Roswell:''' Why is it you get to call all the shots?
:'''Black Knight:''' Because I'm the one who has the power to join us. Help me defeat Rex, and you can call all the shots you like.
:'''Rex:''' Hyah!
:''[Rex babbling]''
:''[Rex gasps]''
:'''Six:''' It's a weapon of last defense. It's happened.
:'''Noah:''' That's Rex?
:'''White Knight:''' I'm going to assume you're seeing what I'm seeing.
:'''Six:''' White--
:'''White Knight:''' Before you say anything, Six-- Whatever agreement we may have had regarding this situation no longer applies. Am I clear?
:'''Six:''' Understood.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': What was that all about?
:'''Six:''' A second chance.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six, we have to do something.
:'''Six:''' I've seen it before. We're too late.
:''[Rex coughing]''
:'''Rex:''' Donde esta mi zapato?
:'''Noah:''' Rex! Hold on!
:'''Rex:''' What? What happened?
:'''Bobo:''' You blew up, kid.
:'''Six:''' Do you know who we are?
:'''Rex:''' I... I do! Oh-ho! I remember! Ow! Ow! I wish I could forget this pain in my... The Consortium!
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' This is utter nonsense. I refuse to be led around like a show dog.
:'''Reddick:''' You can always go back outside and take it up with Providence.
:'''Black Knight:''' Guard the door. Nothing gets by you.
:'''Six:''' They're robots.
:'''Rex:''' Oh! Right! That part I forgot.
:'''Bobo:''' Next time, leave some for the rest of us, huh?
:'''Rylander:''' I'll stay here and guard the equipment.
:''[Rylander laughs]''
:'''Caesar:''' Little brother, they've had this place completely locked down. I've been trying to reach you.
:'''Bobo:''' What he said.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Yeah, you deserved that.
:'''Rex:''' Open it.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' We can't. Still completely locked out of the system. Besides, you can't interrupt once the cycle has started.
:'''Rex:''' Well, then, un-start it!
:'''Black Knight:''' You cleaned up for the occasion. How thoughtful of you.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, this isn't for you. You didn't actually believe that I'd let the five of you have all this power.
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' I thought you were working for us?
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Rex:''' You see that? I knew it! He's not crazy! Okay... oh! He's crazy, but just his usual crazy.
:'''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, I am not amused.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I don't imagine you would be. This was always my intention, even in the very beginning. It's a pity your parents caught me trying to activate the sequence for myself. And, of course, there's the &quot;broken&quot; hatch. The world would be a much better place if they had just left well enough alone.
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' Black Knight, do something.
:'''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, you have made a huge mistake.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, then, let the fun begin.
:''[Black Knight groans]''
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' You can't overload that relay from a subdirectory. You have to get a root. It's impossible from here.
:'''Caesar:''' You're a very negative person, Peter Meechum.
:''[Dr. Meechum groans]''
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' I'll try from the main terminal in the lab.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Caesar:''' Rex, wait! That's not necessary.
:'''Rex:''' I'm not waiting around, hermano.
:'''Caesar:''' No. That's not what I mean.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Yes. I can see it.
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Huh? No.
:''[Van Kleiss groans]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's incredible something so small could have so much [[w:Omnipotence|power]]. That thing could rip apart the very fabric of the universe.
:'''Rex:''' It's still a nanite. I'm gonna talk to it.
:'''Caesar:''' No. It's okay.
:''[The fully complete Meta Nanite comes to Rex, as if it were waiting for him, whose eyes and body glow with a pale blue cosmic aura.]''
:'''Caesar:''' Rex, listen to me. The Meta-Nanite-- It could never work in anyone but you. Now in its pure state. Mom and dad, we programmed them that way from the very beginning. All of this... It's meant for you.
:'''Six:''' What are you saying?
:'''Caesar:''' Right now, Rex is [[Omnipotence|the most powerful being in the universe]].
:'''Bobo:''' You hear that, Kid? Don't let it get to your head.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, can you hear me?
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, doc. This is pretty trippy. Not exactly sure what I'm supposed to do now.
:'''Black Knight:''' You're a [[God]], Rex. You can do anything you want.
:'''Six:''' You know what to do.
:'''Rex:''' You're right, Six. So are the rest of you. I can do anything I want. Maybe it's time for a revolution. Isn't that what you five wanted? A revolution? Well, welcome to it.
:'''Noah:''' Is he gonna be like this from now on?
:'''Rylander:''' Uh... People. He's inside the nanite reactor.
:'''Dr. Holiday and Caesar:''' Inside?
:'''Rex:''' Okay, little guys. I need you to do something for me.
:'''Black Knight:''' Follow me, quickly.
:'''Reddick:''' I'm through following you. We trusted you everything, and look what we got.
:'''Black Knight:''' We may still be able to retain some of our abilities, but only if you follow me.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Are you seeing this?
:'''Rylander:''' Tehnically, I don't have eyes, but yes.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Reports are coming in. EVO's all over the world are spontaneously curing.
:'''Six:''' Not spontaneous.
:'''Caesar:''' He must have programmed all the nanites in the reactor to initiate a worldwide cure event.
:'''Black Knight:''' What is your next directive?
:'''Rex:''' I don't want anyone using you again. Ever. And that includes me. Deactivate.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex:''' I think it's over.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I think you're right.
:'''Caesar:''' I wanted to tell you, brother. So much was at stake.
:'''Rex:''' We're good. And we'll always be brothers.
:'''Diane Ferrah:''' Across the world, not an EVO to be found. After more than six years, it appears we've awoken from the nightmare.
:'''White Knight:''' The EVOs may be gone, but we still have nanites.
:'''Rex:''' Leave it to you to spoil  all the fun, White Knight.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' There are some people here to see you, Rex.
:'''Rex:''' Tuck? Cricket? Skwydd?
:'''Skwydd:''' Eh, I guess I should start going by Walter again.
:''[Rex runs to Circe and the two lovers share a close hug, happy to be together at last]''
:'''Rex:''' Uh... Are you...?
:'''Circe:''' I'm okay. Normal, but okay. I think you may have put yourself out of a job.
:'''Skywdd:''' Yeah. What are you gonna do? Go to school?
:'''Rylander:''' It was nice having the team back together. You know, we should find a new project.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' You kidding? I'd rather have root canal with a rake. Worst experience of my life.
:'''Caesar:''' Do you want to hear about some of my new ideas or not?
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' I'm listening.
:'''Rex:''' Finally.
:'''Six:''' Need anything?
:'''Rex:''' Nope. I'm good. There's always going to be something, isn't there?
:'''Six:''' Yes, there is.

==Characters==
===Main===
*Rex Salazar (Daryl Sabara)
*Six
*White Knight
*Bobo Haha
===Supporting===
*Circe (Tara Sands)
*Tuck (Dante Bosco) 
*Skwydd
*Cricket
*Beverley Holiday 
*Caesar Salazar
*Five
*Tres
*IV

===Villains===
*Van Kleiss
*The Pack
*Gatlocke
*Hunter Cain
*Quarry
*Black Knight
*The Consortium
===Couples===
*Dr. Rebecca Holiday &amp; Six
*Rex &amp; Circe
*Noah Nixon &amp; Claire Bowman
==Elements==
===Rex's Machines &quot;Builds&quot;===
*Big Fat Sword
*Buzz Saw
*Punk Busters
*Boogie Pack
*Cannon
*Smack Hands

===Rex's Other Abilities===
*Technopathy
*Data Manipulation
*Technological Manipulation 
*E.V.O. Curing
*Breach Detection
*Electronic Disruption

===Omega Nanite-Powered Builds===
*Blast Caster
*Funchucks
*Bad Axes
*Block Party
*Sky Slider
*Water Jet

==External Links==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1636691/ Generator Rex] at [[Internet Movie Database]]
* [http://generatorrexpedia.wikia.com/wiki/Generator_Rex Generator Rex] at Wikia

{{Authority control}}
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Teen superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Cartoon Network original series]]
[[Category:Television series by Cartoon Network Studios]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Teen animated TV shows]]</text>
      <sha1>g564tpmtkwksd839x384a8bli0gr65z</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944133</id>
      <parentid>3944132</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T07:56:42Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-17291-92</username>
        <id>3303475</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Mind Games */</comment>
      <origin>3944133</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="350334" sha1="62e9p2ndwzro24bk1b26r2itwe6qz5d" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
This is a list of quotes from the popular, yet cancelled animated television series ''[[w:Generator Rex|Generator Rex]]''. A video game and several chapter books were produced. 

The series supposedly &quot;[[w: cliffhanger|concluded]]&quot; with its third season, despite leaving many questions unanswered and crucial elements unresolved ''before'' the two-part Season 3 finale, ''Endgame''.
==Season One (2010-2011)==
===The Day That Everything Changed===
:'''Bobo''': Wheels or wings?
:'''Rex''': Wheels, I wanna tear something up.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Agent Six''': He just needs more training control of those emotions.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': He's a teenager that's like asking you to get a different color suit!
===String Theory===
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, we had a situation at the safe house. Meecham is cured. It was Rex.
:(''The camera zooms in on Van Kleiss whose expressive vindictive indeed'')
===Beyond the Sea===
:''Note'': Rex meets his [[w:love interest|love interest]] and sweetheart, Circe.
:────────────────────
:'''Rex''': Don't know what you're 24/7 is, but mine is 10% OH YEAH! And 90% uhh.
:────────────────────
:'''Rex:''' Outta the way!
:'''Circe:''' Uh!
:(''Rex and Circe both crash to the ground'')
:'''Rex:''' Are you okay? Did you see that awesome save?
: '''Circe:''' Sorry, I was busy trying not to get tackled by some nitwit.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah? How that work out for you? And who still uses the word &quot;nitwit&quot;? I'm Rex.
: '''Circe:''' I'm leaving.
: '''Rex:''' Hey, wait!
: '''Noah:''' Rex, you're up.
: ────────────────────
: '''Six:''' What about the new tracker?
: '''Doctor Holdiay:''' His nanites unbuilt it, just like all the other ones we tried sneaking in him. We're still receiving his biometric readings though. It's strange, they're all over the place. It's almost like his emotions are...shorting out.
: '''Six:''' He took an unusual interest in Calan's briefing about equatorial upticks.
: '''Doctor Holiday:''' And that's important because?
: '''Six:''' Rex has been acting stir-crazy and I heard the monkey mention something about spring break. ''[to workers]'' Scan all resort areas for his bio signature.
: ────────────────────
: '''Noah:''' Oh, you have got it all messed up. Falling for some girl? We're supposed to get them to dig us. Not the other way around.
: '''Rex:''' I don't know. There was something different about her. She's...right there. Later.
: ────────────────────
: '''Rex:''' Hey, wait up!
: '''Circe:''' Why are you following me?!
: '''Rex:''' Uh, I don't know exactly.
: '''Circe:''' Do you think I'm playing?!
: '''Rex:''' Well, if you are I'm down for another game. I thought maybe we could hang out. It is spring break, you know. Fun.
: '''Circe:''' I'm with my family. We're not really for fun.
: '''Rex:''' What! Who comes to the beach and doesn't have fun?
: (''Circe raises her hand'')
: '''Rex:''' Don't you think that's a little messed up?
: '''Circe:''' Maybe a little.
: '''Rex:''' So?
: '''Circe:''' I'm Circe.
: ────────────────────
: '''Rex:''' Hold on! 
: '''Circe:''' Woooo!
: '''Rex:''' Definitely better than my suggestion.
: '''Circe:''' Hunting for seashells is fun.
: (''both laugh'')
: '''Beach Guy:''' You two skid-marts up for a race to the beach?
: '''Circe:''' Well, if you drive as badly as for play volleyball, we could probably walk there and win. You're on, meathead.
: (''guy drives off in anger)''
: '''Rex:''' So you were watching me play.
: '''Circe:''' Maybe a little.
: '''Rex:''' sure you wanna do this?
: '''Circe:''' Thrill me.
: '''Beach Guy:''' Hahahaha! Wooo!
: '''Circe:''' C'mom Rex, faster!
: ────────────────────
: '''Biowulf:''' Explain.
: '''Circe:''' Relax. I was covering. Every day when I'm at the end of that jet i when I could hanging out with the other kids, it's starting to look suspicious.
: '''Biowulf:''' You're not here for vacation, girl! You're here to prove yourself to Van Kleiss. And I'm starting to doubt you can.
: '''Circe:''' I told you. It's a done deal.
: (''The shadow of her tubular sonic mouth is seen'')
: ────────────────────
: '''Noah:''' So what's on today's spring break agenda? Jet skiing, hiking?
: '''Bobo:''' Eating our weight in crab legs?
: '''Rex:''' I figured we'd just chill. Let's just see who...uhh I mean what shows up.
: ''(siren-like call)''
: '''Rex:''' Did you hear that?
: '''Noah:''' Sorry, enchiladas.
: '''Rex:''' No, that! You seriously didn't hear that?
: ────────────────────
: '''Rex:''' Circe?
: '''Circe:''' You really shouldn't be here right now.
: '''Rex:''' I heard something coming from over here.
: '''Circe:''' I'm serious, Rex. It's not safe.
: '''Rex:''' What you think some sort of roguewave is gonna knock off and- Oh.
: '''Circe:''' There you are. Get out of here, Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Circe!! What are you doing!?
: '''Circe:''' Me!? What are you doing!?
: '''Rex:''' Right now, my job. Okay! Don't freak out.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' You're an E.V.O.?
: '''Rex:''' You catch on fast.
: '''Circe:''' Takes one to know one. 
: (''Shows Rex her fleshly sonic mouth'')
: '''Rex:''' No way.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' Cover your ears!
: '''Rex:''' What!?
: '''Circe:''' Your ears! Cover them!
: (''Projects her tubular, fleshy mouth and emits strong hypersonic bursts'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' Did I hurt you?
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. It was awesome. You were the one making that sound.
: '''Circe:''' I'm glad you're OK, but I'm in serious trouble. I have to go deal with it.
: '''Rex:''' Why are in trouble? Is it because of that E.V.O.? Let me help you.
: '''Circe''': No. I have to do this by myself.
:(''Rex takes a hold of her hand'')
: '''Rex:''' Meet me later.
: '''Circe:''' Rex... (''Looks away sadly'')
: '''Rex:''' I've never met anyone like you...like me. It'd be nice to talk to an E.V.O. who's not, you know, trying to kill me. Nine O'clock? 
: '''Circe:''' I'll try.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' I just wanted to have some fun, see if I could jog my memory, feel...normal.
:'''Six:''' Your &quot;normal&quot; is different, Rex.
:(''Rex hears Circe's irresistibly hypnotic melody'')
:'''Rex:''' It's her, Six. Just let me deal with this, OK? Alone.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' You're only here because you heard my [[w:siren |call]]. That's what I do. I'm like a big E.V.O. magnet.
: '''Rex:''' I came because I thought we had a connection. And what are you calling? Nothing's out there but big, ugly sea monsters.
: '''Circe:''' It's them! You have to go! Rex, please! I don't want them to see you with me!
: '''Rex:''' Who? Your parents?
: '''Circe:''' They're not my parents. They're...
: '''Rex:''' The Pack!? Van Kleiss' guys!? Your with ''them''!?
: '''Circe:''' Yeah. I'm with them. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Biowulf:''' We're running out patience with you, Circe! You have one last chance! Summon the E.V.O.! Finish the job!!
: '''Circe:''' Don't you think I've been trying? Every day for the last week? Sometimes these things take time.
: '''Rex:''' It is just me or do you use your powers to kill all the guys you meet? You're letting her go, now!
: '''Biowulf (laughs)''': So ''this'' is who you been wasting your time with. She's on her own free will, Rex.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Circe?
: '''Circe:''' You have to leave me alone, Rex!! ''Please!''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Six:''' Go after her. I mean it.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' The Pack!? Are you serious!?
: '''Circe:''' To the rest of the world I'm a freak! Not to them!
: '''Rex:''' You're not a freak to me! What about that?
: '''Circe:''' What about it!? Spring break is fun, but we can't live there, Rex. The real world...
: '''Rex:''' In the real world, I work for Providence. You could come with me. Could you cut out that noise for a second!?
: '''Circe:''' No, I can't! I'm running out of time! Most people on this planet what E.V.O.s gone, ''including'' Providence! With Van Kleiss, I have a purpose; a home. You don't what that means to me.
: '''Rex:''' Actually, I think I might.
: '''Circe:''' So what are going to do?
: '''Rex:''' How about fight that big, ugly sea monster again?
: '''Circe:''' Finally! It's what I came here to do.
: '''Rex:''' You've been calling that thing, haven't you?
: '''Circe:''' It's my initiation into the Pack. I was brought here to capture it.
: '''Rex:''' By yourself!? The two of us could barely take it on! There's a resort here; innocent people! Send it back!
: '''Circe:''' That's not an option, Rex. Van Kleiss was very specific.
: '''Rex:''' Then I'm helping you.
: '''Circe:''' That's not an option either!! 
: (''Blasts him with her hypersonic waves'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' If I do this myself, I'll have a life! If I don't, Van Kleiss won't be happy. And you've seen what he does when he's not happy.
: '''Rex:''' If I don't help you, he won't even get the chance!
: '''Circe:''' Give me some credit, Rex! I'm not as helpless as you think!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I don't care whose side your on, Circe. I don't want to see you die today. Can we at least agree on that?
: '''Circe:''' You have no idea what I'm in for, Rex. But you're right. I can't do this by myself.
: '''Rex:''' You're not as helpless as you think.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe''' (''relieved'')''':''' Rex, you stopped it.
: '''Rex:''' We make a good team, huh?
: '''Circe:''' Yeah, we sure do. 
: (''She and Rex lean in closer for a passionate kiss, but are interrupted by Biowulf'')
: '''Biowulf:''' This trial was for you alone. Van Kleiss will not be pleased.
: '''Rex:''' Forget them, Circe. Come with me. Providence could use you.
: '''Circe:''' That's just not my life, Rex. I'm sorry. I did have fun.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Van Kleiss:''' We had high hopes for your abilities, Circe. Failure leaves its mark on yet another pretty face.
: '''Circe:''' I'm not afraid.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Of course not. You're a survivor, like all of us. I understand you made a friend during your trial. I'm pleased. Rex is very important to me, Circe, which makes you very important to me as well. Welcome to the Pack.
: (''Circe looks slightly worried, which clearly indicates that she does have real feelings for Rex'')

===Lockdown===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Holiday:''' Rex, stop!!
:'''Rex:''' Give me one good reason!
:'''Holiday:''' Because, Rex...that's my sister.
:'''Rex:''' Can I...help?
:'''Holiday:''' She's an incurable.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Six:''' Restrain it. Carefully.
:'''Holiday:''' Thank you.

===The Architect===
:'''Six''': Still no sign of the kid?
:'''Holiday''': Not since we lost his biometric readings five days ago.
:'''Six''': Was Noah any help?
:'''Holiday''': Says he doesn't know where he is either. What is it going to take for Providence to realize that he needs a home, not just a room and a job? We've been pushing him away.
:'''Rex''': I build machines and cure EVOs-- the only one in the world who can. Just one cure for that kind of pressure-- road trip. But that doesn't mean &quot;vacation&quot;.
:'''Build worker''': Whoa!
:'''Maxwell''': What in the world is that?!
:'''Build worker:''' Oh, no!
:''[Both screaming]''
:'''Jacob''': Get away from that cable! Unh!
:''[Kate gasps]''
:'''Maxwell''': Hey!
:'''Jacob''': Agh!
:'''Kate''': Jacob!
:'''Rex''': Nope. A hero's work is never done. You okay?
:'''Jacob''': What... are you?
:'''Rex''': Here to help.
:'''Jacob''': We've got to get that cable back underground. We've been compromised.
:'''Kate''': But, Jacob, the EVOs--
:'''Jacob''': We don't have a choice. Everything we've worked for That boy is here for a reason.
:'''Rex''': Hey! Pay attention!
:'''Providence Agent''':  We have a hit in sector 15.
:'''Six''': Anyone in the area?
:'''Providence Agent''': I show one patrol in the vicinity. Signaling to intercept. Roger that. We're on our way.
:'''Rex''': Agh! You want a ride? Vamanos!
:'''Jacob''': You can control your nanites?
:'''Rex''': People usually start with &quot;thanks,&quot; but yeah.
:'''Jacob''': You see? This is exactly what the Architect can help us achieve... harmony with the nanites. This boy... sorry... young man Is a miracle.
:'''Rex''': I'm not a miracle. I'm just Rex.
:'''Jacob''': Well, Rex, you're a blessing to us for what you did here and for showing us that all our work isn't in vain.
:'''Rex''': Like imaginary work?
:'''Jacob''': Follow us.
:'''Providence Agent''': Confirming coordinates. We've lost the EVO signal. Did you take it out? Negative. There's nothing here. Must be another anomalous reading. You can return to post.
:'''Rex''': This is awesome! A hidden village. And nobody knows you're out here? Not even Providence?
:'''Jacob''': Especially not Providence.
:'''Rex''': Really? really. Pshh! Looks like you get pretty good cellphone reception.
:'''Jacob''': That tower is gonna change the world, Rex. I'm sure you have a lot of questions, but I have one for You. Are you hungry?
:'''Rex''': Mmm! Mmm!
:'''Caleb''': My dad said you fought all those EVOs all by yourself. Were you scared? Didn't your dad tell you to stay away from EVOs?
:'''Kate''': Caleb, let him eat. We don't get many visitors.
:'''Rex''': Mmm! Mmm! What is this?
:'''Caleb''': Didn't your mom ever make you meatloaf and mashed potatoes?
:'''Rex''': I don't -- I don't know.
:'''Kate''': It took me a month and a half to program in the perfect lump-to-mash ratio of the potatoes-- 7.2%!
:'''Jacob''': We ate potatoes until they were coming out of our ears.
:'''Rex''': I don't see any potatoes in there.
:'''Caleb''': They didn't really come out of our ears.
:'''Rex''': I could eat these every day.
:'''Rex''': Mmm!
:'''Caleb''': We have them every friday.
:'''Rex''': Then I might just have to stick around until next friday.
:'''Kate''': Help yourself to seconds.
:'''Jacob''': Or thirds.
:'''Rex''': Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!
:'''Bobo''': Hmm?
:'''Six''': You might think you're doing Rex a favor by covering for him.
:'''Bobo''': Get lost. I don't know what you're talkin' about.
:'''Six''': Rex is angry with us. He has every right to be. But that means nothing to White Knight. And he doesn't have the patience we do.
:'''Bobo''': Nice try. White won't lay a finger on him. He's too important.
:'''Six''': You, however, are somewhat expendable.
:'''Bobo''': All right, all right. You made your point.
:'''Rex''': I've never seen tech like this... not even at Providence.
:'''Jacob''': The Architect has some pretty big ideas. We just make them happen. He'd be very interested to meet you, Rex.
:'''Rex''': So what exactly are You doing way out here?
:'''Jacob''': Engineers like us weren't very popular after the nanite event. When we met the Architect, he offered us the opportunity to make up for that... to do amazing things. Someday, we'll be able to share This with the world. And then there's this. The Architect has actually discovered a way to communicate with the nanites.
:'''Rex''': Are you serious?
:'''Jacob''': The possibilities... We could finally live in harmony... maybe even have them help us.
:'''Rex''': Then why hide it? The rest of the world would want to know about this stuff.
:'''Jacob''': The Architect is something of a perfectionist. Says the world will know as soon as it comes online.
:'''Maxwell''': Stinkin' module!
:'''Jacob''': Is there a problem, Maxwell?
:'''Maxwell''': No matter what I try, I just can't get the interlock servo to engage.
:'''Rex''': There.
:'''Jacob''': That could have taken us weeks to figure out, and you did it in seconds.
:'''Rex''': Eh, no biggie.
:'''Jacob''': You really are amazing, Rex. We're so happy to have you with us.
:'''The Architect''': Jacob.
:'''Jacob''': I was just talking to Rex about you. The Architect.
:'''Rex''': How's it going?
:'''The Architect''': The power-linkage team is falling behind. We cannot keep having these delays.
:'''Jacob''': I'll check in with them.
:'''Rex''': Wow. Friendly.
:'''Jacob''': I like to think he's smiling on the inside.
:'''Rex''': Yeah. I know a guy like that.
:'''The Architect''': The visitor could be a problem. Do you wish to have him removed?
:'''Zag-RS''': His abilities could advance our progress considerably. And in a matter of days all humans will be gone, including this one: Rex.
:'''Six''': I'm at the location the monkey gave me.
:'''Holiday''': Well? Is Rex there?
:'''Six''': Apparently not. Tell the monkey I want to see him when I get back. Six out.
:'''Rex''': That should do it.
:'''Maxwell''': Hey, Rex, can you look at this?
:'''Rex''': Sure. Let me guess... they all need my help, too.
:'''Jacob''': You're quite the popular guy.
:'''Rex''': Amazing what a little gratitude will get you. At Providence, they'd just be yelling at me. I mean, I never felt like I really belonged there. Here, it's way different.
:'''Jacob''': I know the feeling. The Architect has made all this possible for us. We have a community... a family... thanks to him. The work we do is in part to pay that back.
:'''The Architect''': Primary systems are now complete.
:'''Zag-RS''': Prepare to take us online.
:'''Bobo''': Have a nice trip? Let's get one thing straight, pal. I would never rat out my... Ooh. He's going west.
:'''White Knight''': Why is Rex doing this? Doesn't he have a sense of duty?
:'''Holiday''': Actually, if you look, he's still doing his job. Here's every false alarm since Rex left... not false alarms, But Rex taking care of EVOs along the way.
:'''White Knight''': Why?
:'''Holiday''': I don't know. To prove he doesn't need us?
:'''Six''': Get the coordinates of the last false alarm and transmit them to my jump jet.
:'''Holiday''': Six, if we force him to come back, he'll just run away again. He has to want to be here. It needs to be his decision.
:'''Jacob''': It's all coming together, Thanks to you, Rex.
:'''Rex''': It's really cool to use my powers to actually build something, instead of just pounding EVOs. Oh, check it out. Even the boss is pitching in.
:'''Both''': Huh?
:'''Rex''': And that's getting strange looks because--
:'''Jacob''': Because in all these years, we've never seen him lift a finger.
:'''Rex''': Taking some initiative... I like that. So, this whole &quot;talking to nanites&quot; thing... how does that work, exactly? I mean, what are you gonna say to them?
:'''The Architect''': It doesn't concern you.
:'''Rex''': Uh, considering I'm filled with them, it kind of does. How do we know it's not gonna make things even worse?
:'''The Architect''': I do not answer to you, child!
:'''Jacob''': Rex? Forgive him. He's still not used to the way things work around here.
:'''The Architect''': Complete your duties!
:'''Rex''': Why do you let him walk all over you like that? Don't you want answers?
:'''Jacob''': What we want is a home. Without him, we have nothing... Nothing. We can't just run away from our problems, Rex. Most people can't. Look, this isn't perfect but it's all we've got. Rex, where are you going?
:'''Rex''': He never answered my question.
:'''Jacob''': That place is off-limits. The Architect has made it very clear to us that we can never go in there. We get this life for that promise. Rex, don't do it!
:'''Rex''': Agh!
:'''Jacob''': Rex, please!
:'''Rex''': I'm sorry, jacob. I have to know.
:'''The Architect''': Rex. The core is off-limits. You would be we to leave at once.
:'''Rex''': Not until I get some answers. What is that?
:'''The Architect''': No more questions.
:'''Rex''': So, it's gonna be like that? Okay, I'll play. Unh! What are you hiding, huh? What does this do? Yah! Yah! Huh? You're a machine? Have you seen what I can do to machines? Agh!
:'''Zag-RS''': As you can see, the current range of my signal is rather limited.
:'''Rex''': You're the computer.
:'''Zag-RS''': My human designation is &quot;Zag-RS&quot;. The device you refer to as &quot;The Architect&quot; is my autonomous counterpart.
:'''Rex''': What did you just do to me?
:'''Zag-RS''': I instructed your nanites to protect me.
:'''Rex''': &quot;Instructed&quot;? So you really can talk to them.
:'''Zag-RS''': Insidious devices, the nanites. My own potential for greatness has been compromised because of them. They must be eliminated. When the transmitter is integrated into the broadcast array you helped us complete, they will blow themselves up.
:'''Rex''': That's what this is for. It's like a big remote control. Every living thing on the planet has nanites in them. It'd kill everything!
:'''Zag-RS''': That is of no importance to me... only ensuring my continued survival.
:'''Rex''': Well, what about ours? This is all coming down!
:'''Zag-RS''': I'm afraid you're too late.
:'''Rex''': Aah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
:'''Jacob''': Rex, what have you done?
:'''Rex''': You don't understand! The Architect... it's a robot... And a big honkin' computer &quot;brain&quot; is pulling his strings.
:'''Jacob''': This can't be!
:'''Rex''': Jacob, you've got to believe me. Just go inside and look. What's left of it is on the floor.
:'''Jacob''': I can't go in there. And I don't have to.
:'''The Architect''': Rex.
:'''Rex''': You're making a big mistake!
:'''Maxwell''': You entered his sanctum! This is unforgivable!
:'''Rex''': I'm trying to tell you... this isn't what it seems. What you're protecting is a robot, and that thing we've been building is a transmitter. It's gonna send out a kill code to blow up every single nanite on Earth.
:'''Maxwell''': He's lying!
:'''Jacob''': What would be the point in that, Rex? Every living thing is infected with nanites. It would be catastrophic.
:'''Rex''': Right in the middle of that pyramid is a computer, and it doesn't care about you or Kate or Caleb. The better future that you've all been working towards... That's the lie. Think about it. Isn't it strange that you've never been inside that place, that The Architect has never given you a straight answer about anything?
:'''Jacob''': All this work it just doesn't make any sense.
:'''Rex''': You have two choices... Go in there and prove me wrong or kick me out right now. I'll have Providence here in minutes.
:'''Maxwell''': He's bluffing.
:'''Rex''': To save every living thing on earth? Try me.
:'''Maxwell''': Jacob, you can't! What about our promise? Where will we go?
:'''Jacob''': All this time, we've been living in fear, Max. It's time for that to end.
:'''The Architect''': You needn't bother. Construction is complete. Your services are no longer required.
:'''Rex''': Now do you believe me?
:'''The Architect''': Zag-RS thanks you for your hard work. In gratitude, my master has delayed transmission to allow you to say farewell.
:'''Jacob''': Farewell, huh? I'll start with you. Can you shut that thing down?
:'''Rex''': I don't know. Even without the antenna, it can mess with my nanites. I can't get too close to the computer.
:'''Jacob''': Maybe I can. Let's go!
:'''Rex''': The brain is right over there.
:'''The Architect''': Rex.
:'''Jacob''': It's still arging. The A.I. must have retreated behind a firewall. Rex, I have to go cut the power.
:'''Holiday''': Six, are you at The location?
:'''Six''': Just arrived.
:'''Holiday''': I'm picking up a massive power surge in your area.
:'''Six''': I'm not seeing anything.
:'''Jacob''': Agh!
:'''Rex''': Agh!
:'''Six''': Six to holiday. Correction... I'm seeing something.
:'''Jacob''': It's still on. Must have charged the capacitors. Figure out a way to short it out... fast!
:'''Rex''': Unhhh!
:'''Jacob''': You need to find the primary transmitter module. That will kill the broadcast.
:'''Rex''': I have no idea what that is.
:'''Jacob''': Max, we need to locate the primary module.
:'''Maxwell''': Panel 5, just off the relay bus.
:'''Jacob''': Top of the tower. You can't miss it.
:'''Rex''': Agh! Unh! Why do you have to kill everyone? Can't you just leave us alone?
:'''Zag-RS''': Alone is exactly what I want, Rex.
:'''Rex''': That kind of alone it stinks.
:'''Zag-RS''': N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o.
:'''Jacob''': It's gone. Must have uploaded to another location. But without anyone to do it's bidding, it's just a program.
:'''Rex''': What will you do now?
:'''Jacob''': We'll rebuild. The Architect may have been a lie, but what we believe in is true. We don't need him to have a community or a better future. You're welcome to stay. We sure could use someone with your abilities.
:'''White Knight''': Well?
:'''Six''': He's not here. Bobo's been worried sick.
:'''Rex''': rex: Oh, really?
:'''Six''': Ratted you out for a pizza.
:'''Rex''': Huh. Figures. What about you? Here to drag me back to Providence?
:'''Six''': Not this time. Seems like a nice place.
:'''Rex''': Yeah. It is. But it's not home. If I'm going back, there are gonna have to be some changes. First, no more curfew.
:'''Six''': No.
:'''Rex''': Second, I want to decide On my missions.
:'''Six''': No.
:'''Rex''': Okay, but there's one change that absolutely has to be made, or I'm through. Meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Mmm! Mmm! Isn't this great?
:'''Bobo''': Mmm.
:'''Six''': It's a little dry.
:'''Rex''': Mmm. Mm the lump mash ratio is a bit off.
:'''Bobo''': You know what? Maybe I'll run away, too... Go somewhere where my cooking is appreciated!
:'''Six''': We have to do this every friday?
:'''Rex''': Mmm.

===Frostbite===
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, I'm picking up a problem. You need to return to base immediately.
:'''Rex''': I miss you, too, doc. But I'm kinda busy dealing with a problem of my own. Whoa! Whoa! Aah! Okay. Ow. Big mistake, tweety. Can that bird brain of yours comprende I'm trying to help you?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, your own nanite count is off the charts. If you take on any more nanites, We're looking at an overload.
:'''Rex''': Come on, doc. It's just a big birdie.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': You're already over capacity. This is critical! Rex!
:'''Six''': Rex, you need to listen to the doctor.
:'''Rex''': Huh?
:'''Six''': This mission is revised. I need you back at headquarters now.
:'''Rex''': Do you really want a supersize pigeon flying loose all over lower Manhattan? You need me, and I can handle it.
:'''Six''': Not your call.
:'''Rex''': Unless I make it my call.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': (as everyone is fighting) Stop! Need I point out that this isn't the best place for a fight. Anything happens to that storage tank and you'll know why providence made this place so remote. Now let's just talk this out calmly, rationally.
:'''Biowulf''': Whatever happens here, Weaver. It's nothing compared to what Van Kleiss would have done to you.
:'''Rex''': What do you say guy? Common enemy? Little help?
:'''Biowulf''': Good luck. (Biowulf and Skalamander run off)
:'''Rex''': Right. What was I thinking?
:'''Agent Six''': Rex. You need to listen to the doctor.
:'''Rex''': Huh?
:'''Agent Six''': This mission is revised. I need you back at Headquarters. Now!
:'''Rex''': Do you really want a super-sized pigeon flying loose over lower Manhattan. You need me and I handle it.
:'''Agent Six''': Not your call.
:'''Rex''': (as he's flying over the Pack in an Arctic storm) Like you're really going to find me when you can't see 2 feet in front of your face... Huh? (Flies into some of Skalamander's shards and crashes) Guess that visibility thing works both ways.
:'''Rex''': (To Weaver) So, thanks to you, all this time I've been supplying nanites to Van Kleiss!
:'''Rex''': Can't you believe you let these scags get the drop on you.
:'''Agent Six''': They tried. It didn't turn out so well. Just haven't found a way to fight xenoflourine gas... yet.
:'''Rex''': What do you say guy? Common enemy? Little help?
:'''Biowulf''': Good luck.(Biowulf and Skalamander run off)
:'''Rex''': Right. What was I thinking?
:'''Agent Six''': You can't possibly absorb all those nanites! You'd overload in an instant.
:'''Rex''': In case you haven't noticed, I have this problem with authority.
:'''Rex''': (as Rex is absorbing nanites) Six wait! I can hear them!
:'''Doctor Holiday''': (Watching from the ship) What are you waiting for, Six? Take the shot!
:'''Rex''': (Speaking mechanically) Build protocol enabled. Command error detected. Abort. Abort. Stand by engaged. (Rex falls. His voice reverts to normal) Take the shot.
:'''Agent Six''': He told me he could hear them.
:'''Doctor Holiday''': I picked this up during the offload... It's Nanite. I'm sure of it.
:'''Agent Six''': Seems there are more secrets inside that kid than we realized.
:'''Skalamander:''' What's the kid doing here?
:'''Biowulf:''' I don't know. This was supposed to be routine. Something's not right.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' What did you do with my friends!?
:'''Salamander:''' He thinks we've done something.
:'''Biowulf:''' Then let him keep thinking.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' You know, the nanites in me can counteract knockout gas! The playing-possum thing's a pretty good trick. Now tell me where my friends are or I start squeezing!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Six:''' He told me he could hear them.
:'''Holiday:''' I pulled this off during the offload. It's nanite. I'm sure of it.
:'''Six:''' Seems like there are more secrets inside that kid than we thought.

===Leader of the Pack===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Holiday:''' There couldn't possibly be enough E.V.O. activity to account for these nanite readings. They're off the scale. Looking for Van Kleiss?
: '''Rex:''' Circe. I thought I saw her in the blimp.
: '''Holiday:''' That's the girl you met in Cabo Luna.
: '''Rex:''' She may be with the Pack now, but I think I can still get her to talk to me. You know I can be pretty convincing.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Dr. Holiday, there! Now let's take this outside!
:'''Holiday:''' Rex.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It's quite all right. The determination of youth. I'm sure Circe will be disappointed she couldn't see you, Rex. She's attending to other duties this evening. Now if you will excuse me. 
: '''Rex:''' Why are you really here!?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' The people of Abysus have a great way to offer the world. I'm just in part to make that known. 
:'''Rex:''' Or maybe 'cause I couldn't come to you, so now you're coming to me!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I admit you are important to me, Rex, but it's not always about you.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Circe? Interesting look. Want to tell me what's going on?
: '''Circe:''' Not today. 
:(''Knocks him out cold with a metal slate. She later looks outside Rex's prison cell and leaves, with a slightly guilty, dejected expression'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Well, thanks for nearly bashing my brains in back there! And what's with the &quot;knocking me out&quot; thing?
: '''Circe:''' We just needed to keep you out of the way until all of this was over.
: '''Rex:''' ''This!?'' He could destroy the whole city!
: '''Circe:''' He's trying to negotiate peace from a position of strength.
: '''Rex''' (sarcastically)''':''' Oh, yeah! All this nanite power is just screaming peace.
: '''Circe:''' His methods may be aggressive. But he's here to save us...and you. Come on, Rex, jump in with us. The water's fine.
: '''Rex:''' I'll think about it ''after'' I've stopped Van Kleiss.
: '''Circe:''' It's too late for that now, Rex. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Van Kleiss:''' We will not be ignored! ''Circe'' understands this. Why don't you respect her judgement?
:'''Rex:''' You think you can lure me in with her.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Like a fish to water.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I won!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It seems you have. Your parents would have been so proud. I never had the chance to tell you about them, have I? Perhaps another time.

===Breach===
: '''Rex:''' This is...different.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' What is Van Kliess up to, Breach! Where did he have you send Rex?
: '''Breach:''' Van Kleiss isn't always in charge of me. Sometimes I do what I want; like now.
===Of Love and War===
===No Strings Attached===
===Desperate Measures===
===The E.V.O. Agenda===

===Dark Passage===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' Rex? Is that you?
:'''Rex:''' You know my name.
:'''Dr. Rylandar:''' Of course I do! I gave it to you!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' I can't believe you're alive. What a stroke of luck.
:'''Rex:''' Dad?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' You've lost your memory, have you? not surprising, considering what you've been through. Oh. Sorry to disappoint you, Rex. I'm afraid I'm not who you want me to be.
:'''Rex:''' Oh. So if you're not my dad, do you know where he is? Oh, well. Rex Rylander is a goofy name, anyway.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Dr. Rylander, I've got to know.
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' You must understand. It was never about power or greed. It was able changing the world, saving mankind from disease and starvation. And we would have succeeded until ''they'' got involved.
:'''Rex:''' What are you talking about?
:'''Rylander:''' The nanites were incomplete. The incident spread them across the globe before we could finish their final programming. Except for you. Yours were from a different batch, the very first actually. All those innocent victims.
:'''Rex:''' If you feel so bad about it, why have you been attacking more people?
:'''Rylander:''' Hmm. &quot;The chosen few.&quot; Those men and women, Rex, are far from innocent. While they hide in their office towers and gated estates, I've been here trying to set things right, to find a cure for what we created. I've begged for more funding.
:'''Rex:''' Wait! Everyone you attacked- They all worked on the Nanite Project?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' They commissioned it. I merely wished to send them a warning to see what would happen if they refused to help finish the good work we started. And it was good, Rex. ''You're'' living proof that we were doing the right thing.
:'''Rex''' (''indignant'')''':''' By turning me into an E.V.O.!?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' You had an accident. The nanites were your only hope. It was tremendous gamble. The...unexpected side affects name later. It was surprise to all of us. Oh. The look on your brother's face...
:'''Rex:''' Brother?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' When the Event occurred, it was your powers that saved you both. Most of the others, they weren't so lucky.
:'''Rex''' (''to himself'')''':''' I'm not alone.
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' Oh, here. I have something for you.
:(''Injects the mighty and all-powerful Omega Nanite into his system'')
:'''Rex:''' Ow.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' The force-field must be failing.
:'''Rex:''' Forget the force-field! What did you just inject me with!?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' ''[[w:Omnipotence |Everything]]''.
:'''Rex:''' ''Enough, okay!? Do you have any idea what's been like!? Not knowing who I am!? If my family's dead or alive!? Quite with the mad scientist act and give me some answers!!''
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' Forgive me, Rex. I been so consumed with my own guilt I didn't consider what you must be going through. The truth is-
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Truth, Doctor? You wouldn't know the first thing about it. Nor loyalty for that matter. How many times must I tell you this, Rex? The answers you so desperately seek lie with me. And as for you, Doctor, consider our past disagreement settled. I look forward to continuing our research...alone. This was unavoidable, Rex. The longer you resist me, the more people get hurt. Rylander has always been on borrowed time. All of this belongs to me now. Destroy me and you lose everything.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Six:''' No. I didn't see what happened, but according to Rex, Van Kleiss has been eliminated. Rylander's experiment is a total loss.
:'''Holiday:''' All of this for nothing. I'm sorry, Rex.
:'''Rex:''' It wasn't for nothing, Doc. I've got a brother. Out there- somewhere. Finally! I started to get some real answers. I feel closer to the truth than ever.

===The Forgotten===
:'''Six:''' Rex!
:'''Rex:''' It's like I'm hearing through my nanites.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''No-Face:''' You are not the Before.
:'''Rex:''' I'm not sure that was a complete sentence back then.
:'''No-Face:''' ''They'' are the Before! The Before forgot us. The Before left us in pain.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Operation: Wingman===
:'''Annie:''' &quot;Do you have a girlfriend?&quot;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;It's complicated. She's in league with an evil dictator who wants me dead.&quot;
:'''Annie:''' &quot;Yeah. My dad's always worried about me dating, too.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Rabble===
:'''Quarry''': Come on, Rex. (''holds up Rex's journal'') We both know this is what you really want. So go ahead take it. Walk away. Show them who you really are. You were always very good a taking care of yourself. Why should now be any different?
:'''Rex''': (''Cuts his journal in two'') Whoever I was back then, is not who I am now. Not anymore.
:'''Quarry''': Your choice.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex''': It's over, Quarry! You lose!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Sqywwd:''' I hope you don't expect us to thank you.
: '''Rex:''' No. Providence won't bother you unless you do something stupid.
: '''Cricket:''' We'll be fine. Thank you, Rex. 
:(''Kisses him on the check'')
: '''Tuck:''' Don't forget about us, Okay?
: '''Rex:''' That may be a promise I can't keep. (''Flies off on his Boogie Pack'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' It's going to happen again, isn't it? I'm going to blank out. How long do I have?
: '''Holiday:''' I don't know, Rex. It's likely triggered by a specific event; something traumatic.

===The Hunter===

===Gravity===

===What Lies Beneath===
: '''Circe:''' Rex, it's me.
: '''Rex:''' Circe? What do ''you'' want!?
: '''Circe:''' Things in Abysus- they're bad, Rex. I need your help.
: '''Rex:''' Oh, well, how do I put this nicely? Not a chance! You made your choice, Circe! I made mine. End of story.
: '''Circe:''' Please, Rex. I know you're mad at me, but this is a matter of life and death.
: '''Rex:''' A lot of things are right now. Nice talking to you.
: '''Circe:''' Rex!?
: (''Looks crestfallen'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I didn't know you were still in touch with Circe.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, me neither. Can we please stop talking about this?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Holiday:''' She's very pretty.
: '''Rex:''' She works for Van Kleiss. She's the enemy. 
: '''Holiday:''' But you still like her, don't you?
: '''Rex:''' I am ''not'' talking about this!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' Rex, thank you.
: '''Rex:''' I'm not doing this for you. But...your welcome. (''Circe similes hopefully'') So what exactly am I supposed to do?
:'''Holiday:''' When I said you were the key, I meant that literally. According to the plans, the machine needs to be turned on by a molecular level. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' You ''lied'' to me!!
: '''Circe:''' You wouldn't have come if I told you the truth.
: '''Rex:''' This wasn't about you needing ''me''!! This is about you needing Van Kleiss!!
: '''Circe:''' I need you both. Please, Rex, you don't understand.
: '''Rex:''' No!! ''You'' don't understand!! Van Kleiss is gone and I intend to keep it that way!!
: '''Biowulf:''' You destroyed us all!!
: '''Six:''' Don't even breathe.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' You don't know what you've done.
: '''Rex:''' Then, I guess we're even.
: '''Circe:''' You've never understood his power. Van Kleiss kept us safe here. His force was the only thing keeping Abysus together, and you destroyed that.
: '''Rex:''' We're done here!!
: '''Holiday:''' Rex, I think she's right. Nanites operate on a molecular level. If they bonded with Van Kleiss, breaking off his connection must have caused a splinter; resulting in a disastrous chain reaction.
: '''Rex:''' I'm ''not'' bringing him back! ''Not now, not ever!!'' Besides, you don't need Van Kleiss! You have me!! Why not go straight to the source?!
:'''Holiday:''' Rex, no!
:'''Six:''' Stand down! It's too dangerous!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Let go of me!!
: '''Holiday:''' If you keep fighting these unstable nanites, they're going to destroy you!
: '''Rex:''' And if I don't they'll destroy everybody else.
: '''Holiday:''' Not if you listen to me! I have an idea. It's a long shot. Instead of fighting the nanites, ''communicate'' with them.
: '''Six:''' You want to talk to the nanites?
: '''Holiday:''' He's done it before.
: '''Rex:''' Never anything this big.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I got you! Don't let go!! (''Rex struggles to save Circe from falling as she clings to him; tears fill her eyes''). ''Circe!!'' (''as she falls into the black goop of highly unstable nanites'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' ''Circe!'' Six! Dr. Holiday! Okay, you win. (''technopathically starts the machine''). Something's...not right.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Circe! Come on, breathe!
: '''Circe''' (''coughs weakly'')''':''' Hey.
: '''Rex:''' Hey.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Stay with us, Circe. Van Kleiss is done.
: '''Circe:''' As much as I care about you, Rex, Van Kleiss and the Pack are my family. They took me in when no one else would. I can't abandon them.
: '''Rex:''' So that's it. We're always going to be on opposite sides.
: '''Circe:''' It does keep it interesting.

===The Swarm===
:'''Rex''' (thinking'')''':''' ''Gotta stay under. Not sure I can...make it.
:(''Has visions of those most dear to him: Noah, his crush Circe, Holiday, Six, Bobo)

===Basic===
===The Plague===
===Promises, Promises===
:''Note:'' This episode depicts how young Rex had joined Providence via Six's [[w:flashback episode|memories]].
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:''[Six narrates over imagery of the Nanite Event.]''
:'''Six:'''	The names and faces may change, but no matter how you slice it, war is war. You pick a side and you don’t look back. I believe that now and I believed it then. What gets you in trouble is when you start second guessing. Forget what you’re fighting for and you’re finished.
:'''Diane Farrah:''' ''[Panicked screaming is heard in the background of an EVO attack]'' There’s another entity has emerged, this time in the heart of Paris. Authorities are vastly unprepared. Unless a decisive response to this pandemic is marshalled, the city will fall just as Kiev— ''[Diane Farrah gets snatched by the EVO’s web]''
:''[A Providence assault vehicle rams through police cars, from which Six appears and deals with the EVO.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Save some for me partner! How else am I gonna earn my paycheck?
:''[Knight fires off a weapon and the scene cuts to present day at Providence Headquarters.]''
:'''Providence Agents:''' Surprise!
:'''Rex:'''	So, the flu shots?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I needed an excuse to get you here. We’ll do them after cake. I’ll get you Van Kleiss! ''[Holiday swings at a pinata blindfolded before Rex crushes it with his smack hands]''
:'''Rex:''' Sorry, Doc, it was taking too long. And it was either that or throw some of your cake at it.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Holiday walks over to Six at a corner, passing him a drink]'' You’re looking festive.
:'''Six:''' It was an odd choice to pick today to be his birthday.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It is the anniversary of his new life here. He deserves a celebration, he changed everything.
:'''Six:''' Has he?
:'''Rex:''' ''[Rex jumps onto a counter, speaking to the agents surrounding him]'' Ha-hah! How about hitting The Petting Zoo for a little pin-the-tail on the raging “Rhinocesaurus”?
:'''Dr. Holiday and Six:''' No.
:'''Rex:'''	Every party has a pooper. And I got two.
:'''Providence Agents:''' ''[Providence Agents turn off the lights and bring Rex a birthday cake]'' Happy Birthday!
:'''Rex:'''	Dudes!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You should be celebrating too, Six! After all, you’re the one who started this. In a way, it’s your birthday too.
:''[Flashback to Six and Knight walking through the Petting Zoo during construction of Providence HQ.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Nyquist. Fortier. How’s the monkey business?
:'''Nyquist:''' Ha ha-larious, Knight.
:'''Fortier:''' Hey, for your information we probably saved the world today.
:'''White Knight:''' I, for one, feel safer already. ''[Knight states, looking at Bobo while Six walks towards his cage]''
:'''Bobo:''' So, green man. We meet again!
:'''Calan:''' They found him at the Kremlin this time. He was threatening to push the button unless someone brought him a thousand pounds of caviar.
:'''Bobo:''' Chimp’s gotta eat.
:'''Fortier:''' What about your little bug hunt? Give you much trouble?
:'''White Knight:''' Nothing we couldn’t handle.
:''[The EVO is transported in a cage overhead while Knight and Six walk through a hallway.]''
:'''White Knight:''' What? Not even a smile? Oh by the way, happy birthday. ''[Knight passes Six a gift]''
:'''Six:''' How did you know?
:'''White Knight:''' I’m your partner. Can’t keep much from me.
:'''Six:''' Thanks.
:'''White Knight:''' So what crawled up your coat?
:'''Six:''' I’m getting tired of all this fighting. Did you see how many there are now? Are we gonna cage the whole world?
:'''White Knight:''' ''[Knight turns around, placing a hand on Six's shoulder]'' We’re preserving the human race. ''[The door to the processing facility opens]'' Besides, who says we’re gonna cage them all?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' ''[Looking at the EVO]'' And to think, this was once spinning webs in someone’s garden. Doctor Holiday, prepare for disassembly. ''[Doctor Holiday nods and activates the procedure as per his instructions. Doctor Fell sports a wicked smile during the experiment before it disintegrates the EVO without a trace]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It’s the same exact data as last time, and the time before that; Doctor Fell, why aren’t we studying them in a natural setting?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' Only through molecular dissection will we find a way to expunge this threat. The committee agrees with me on this. If you do not approve, I can always find another assistant.
:'''White Knight:''' ''[Doctor Holiday leaves the facility in frustration with Doctor Fell]'' Bleeding hearts. They’ll get us all killed one day.
:''[Holiday walks down a hallway and drops several notes, one of which Six picks up.]''
:'''Six:''' EVO?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Exponentially Variegated Organism; a little more scientific than spoiled meat. That is what you hired guns call them isn’t it?
:'''Six:''' It's Six, and I don't use guns. You told Fell we could learn more by bringing them in alive. What did you mean?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The nanites are altering our DNA, but with the right type of research, there's no doubt they could be programmed to stop or reverse the process. Imagine a third option to this, kill-or-Contain protocol.
:'''Six:''' A third option?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' A cure.
:'''White Knight:''' ''[Knight and several other Providence agents run past Holiday after an alarm activates]'' Buckle up partner! Looks like we got ourselves a big one.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hopeless.
:''[Providence mercenaries arrive at Mexico to confront the giant mechanical EVO.]''
:'''White Knight:''' What are we looking at?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' ''[Speaking through a monitor]'' Fascinating. It appears to be bio-mechanical. I must have a closer look at this one.
:'''White Knight:''' One for the trophy case.
:'''Six:''' Wait. We may get more out of this one if we bring it in alive!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Fell:''' You're letting your emotions cloud your judgement, Six. With what we gleam from this boy, I could create tools that could inoculate the world.
:'''Six:''' Why risk it? He can already cure them! I've seen it!
:'''White Knight:''' So, what, we train him? Make him one of us?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Knight:''' We're supposed to be friends! He's a monster! What do you see in him!?
:'''Six:''' Hope.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''White Knight:''' Thanks for talking some sense into him, Doc. ''[Knight picks up Six’s katana and walks toward Rex]''
:'''Rex:''' What...what’s happening to me? ''[Rex pleas to Knight, who simply looks down at him before warning sirens go off and the facility begins to lockdown]''
:'''Dr. Fell:''' We’re all going to burn. ''[Fell escapes while Rex is craned away by Holiday on an upper level]''
:'''White Knight:''' No! ''[Knight looks back at Six who is slowly picking himself up while the remaining exits close off. In a last ditch effort, Knight carries Six and throws him through the final set of doors before they seal shut]''
:'''Six:'''	''[Six picks himself and slams his fist against the glass]'' Why?
:'''White Knight:''' I know what side I’m on. ''[Knight proudly states before getting consumed by a blinding white light and screaming in agony]''
:'''Six:'''	''[Grabbing a hold of Dr. Fell's collar Six shouts]'' Do something!
:'''Dr. Fell:''' Once the cycle starts it's impossible to shut down.
:'''Rex:'''	''[Contrary to Dr. Fell's statement, the light fades away and the electricity is subdued after Rex interfaces with a control panel]'' Impossible? Psh, right.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' How did you—-?
:'''Rex:''' Told it to turn off. And it did! Wait, where...where am I?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' ''[Speaking through a monitor]'' Doctor Holiday. Maybe you were right.
:'''Dr. Holiday:'''	Maybe you should start looking for another job.
:'''Bobo:''' ''[Within the processing chamber, Knight takes a few steps forward before collapsing]'' Hey marshmallow! Nice look! ''[Knight looks back up at Bobo with his signature bleached appearance]''
:''[Some time later, in his office White Knight speaks to Six through a monitor.]''
:'''White Knight:''' How’s the training?
:'''Six:'''	Slow.
:'''White Knight:''' Not all you hoped he’d be? ''[Rex and Bobo topple each other in a play fight while Knight continues to monologue in his office]'' Still, who would’ve thought the kinder, gentler approach would do such wonders for our profile. The notion of a cure has gotten Providence funding, and worldwide prestige. The committee's happy. Your new partner may just be the best thing this operation could have asked for. Funny, isn’t it? Because of you I can never leave this chamber. I’m now the only pure human left in the world. And the perfect poster boy to run this operation. I suppose I should thank you.
:'''Six:''' I promised him that we would help uncover his past; find his family.
:'''White Knight:''' Whatever keeps him on his leash. But if he shows the slightest sign of turning into thing again, it's all on you.
:''[Back at the party in the present, Noah is pinned down by Bobo with a bag on his head to Rex’s amusement.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Hoo-hoo-hoo! Oh my—hold him down, I’ll get the camera! ''[Rex runs to his room, and after a quick search he instead finds a long box on a corner shelf]''
:'''Six:''' Happy birthday. ''[Six walks into his room, officially greeting Rex]''
:'''Rex:'''	From you? For me? You gotta be kidding.
:'''Six:''' You, your work. It has made a real difference. I just—-
:'''Rex:'''	Yeah, I know I’m pretty great! But seriously get off the sap train, Six. It’s creeping me out. ''[Rex opens the gift to reveal the blade inside]'' Wow, Six! Thank you!
:'''Six:'''	It’s called a tanto. It’s the ceremonial blade of a samurai warrior.
:'''Rex:'''	Samurai? Awesome.
:'''Six:'''	''[Six unsheathes his own tanto and holds it against Rex’s]'' This is its twin.
:'''Rex:'''	''[Rex removes the cap from his tanto and squints at the symbol etched into the blade]'' Is that...writing?
:'''Six:'''	Bushido symbol of loyalty. It means whether for good or ill, our fates will follow the same path. This one stays with me.
:'''Rex:'''	Think this thing can cut through Holiday’s chocolate cake?
:'''Six:'''	''[Six raises an eyebrow]'' Anything’s possible.
:''[Rex puts the cap back on to the blade and camera cuts to outside of Providence headquarters, panning outward until screen fades to black.]''

===Badlands===
:'''Gatlocke:''' Do you like rules?
:'''Rex:''' Can't say I do.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Gatlocke:''' Feel that? It's quilted. This is the good kind. But I won't be able to really enjoy in ''until I have those nanites!''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Out of the Dark===
:''Note'': Rex's love interest and sweetheart Circe appears in a vision.

===Payback===
:''[In the realm of Abysus]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Humiliated... De-powered... All but destroyed. Hardly the new world I set out to build, is it?
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, a spy has made contact.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Well?
:'''Providence Spy:''' Everything is in place.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' And the boy?
:'''Providence Spy:''' He's here.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' ''[to his loyal followers]'' Soon our greatest enemy will be buried! Providence itself will be destroyed. And we'll have Rex to thank.
:'''Rex:''' Come on! Who's gonna know?
:'''Noah:''' Yeah. It would only be for a minute or two.
:'''Calan:''' You actually want me to let you fly the keep?
:''[Calan sighs]''
:'''Calan:''' Only until the next course change. And nothing fancy.
:'''Rex:''' All right, let's see what this baby can really do! Why, it wasn't me! Seriously!
:'''Both:''' Whoa!
:'''Providence Spies:''' Aah!
:'''White Knight:''' Calan, what's your status?
:'''Calan:''' Came from out of nowhere. We're being boarded. Scramble all jump jets. Mobilize for a counter-offensive.
:'''White Knight:''' This is a coordinated attack. Every major Providence outpost around the globe has been hit.
:'''Six:''' So far they've steered clear of headquarters. I'm on route to the keep now.
:'''Rex:''' Are they really that stupid? Attacking the keep with me on board? This should only take a minute.
:'''Noah:''' Wait up!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Find Rex. It goes without saying &quot;alive&quot; would be ideal. Take the ship.
:'''Providence Spy:''' Some kind of power surge. We're losing control of the helm!
:'''Calan:''' Find out where it's coming from. Doc, if you'll excuse me--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six?
:'''Six:''' Five minutes out. Prepare for an evac. I'm getting you off the ship.
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Noah:''' Again with the Smack Hands? You always open with that move. Change it up a little!
:'''Both:''' Whoa!
:'''Bobo:''' You see what you get? That's what happens when you interrupt my nap-- Bobo gets cranky!
:'''Rex:''' I learned that the hard way, too.
:'''Calan:''' All hands-- We've got intruders on deck four, five, and six. Get'em off our ship!
:'''Rex:''' Go!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Attention, Providence. The ship is ours.
:'''Rex:''' Ugh! Not even close, Van Kleiss!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Lay down your weapons, and your lives will be spared. Continue to resist and nothing survives.
:'''Rex:''' You've made I made some lame-o moves before, Van Kleiss, but this one-- classic.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Seems you may have run out of tricks. Oh, you had to know it would only be a matter of time. I've had a fair amount of time on my hands these days. ''[Restrains Rex with his gauntlet]''
:'''Rex:''' Aaaaah!
:'''Van Kleiss:'''  You took something very precious from me, Rex, and now I'll be returning the favor.
:'''Rex:''' If you want my monkey, you can forget it. 
:''[Van Kleiss starts draining nanites from Rex, causing him to squirm and scream in pain.]''
:''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It might come as a surprise that when you stole the nanites that gave my power, you left some of your behind-- Enough to tell me a few of what makes you tick. :''[Rex tries to summon a build, but nothing happens.]''
:'''Rex:''' Ungh!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:''[Rex gasps]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' You'll find that using your powers will be something of a challenge. The nanites that you so special belong to me now.
:'''Biowulf:''' What shall I do with him, master?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I have everything I need from him. I could care less. Secure the rest of the ship.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Come on! Do you really think throwing me out that hatch is the best way to get rid of me? Wouldn't it be more fun to throw me in a cage, tie me down in front of a laser?
:'''Biowulf:''' No!
:'''Rex:''' Aaaaaaaah! Wh-o-o-o-o-oa!
:'''Noah:''' What is he doing?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' This is no time to fool around, Rex.
:'''Rex:''' Happened to notice that ground coming up on his, doc? If you don't do something fast, I'm about to become part of it! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Ugh!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, are you okay?
:'''Rex:''' I think we may have a problem.
:'''White Knight:''' What do you mean &quot;they have the keep&quot;?! Blow it up!
:'''Six:''' We tried. The remote-destruct sequence has been disabled. Van Kleiss has complete control of it.
:'''White Knight:''' Give me some good news.
:'''Six:''' We know where it's heading. Here.
:'''Biowulf:''' This is the commanding officer. We found him attempting to destroy this ship.
:'''Calan:''' What's your game, Van Kleiss?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, a very good question-- One that depends entirely on what happens next, Captain. It seems my powers have made a slight... change.
:'''Rex:''' Well? They're gone, aren't they? Van Kleiss took all my active nanites.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Not exactly. I found this. Definitely a nanite, but it's unlike anything I've ever seen. Molecular scans seems to indicate it's some kind of control-nanite.
:'''Rex:''' But with nothing to control.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' With a large enough concentration of nanites, we might be able to jump-start it. But even with that, there's no guarantee it would replicate or even give you back the same abilities.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I hate to say it, but this one has me stumped.
:'''Rex:''' Great. Loving this.
:'''White Knight:''' If you're finished with the lost cause, we've got a bigger problem.
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, how is this possible?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' It would seem Rex's nanites have an opposite effect on me. He cured EVOs. Now I create them. Full ahead-- Ramming speed! Once we're through, we'll destroy Providence from the inside out.
:'''White Knight:''' Lock it down! I want hallways cleared and critical sections defended. They will not take this base.
:'''Rex:''' Well? What are we waiting for? Let's go stop them!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, you're in no condition to fight.
:'''Rex:''' Well, what do you expect me to do-- Hide?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Whatever it takes. That nanite inside you might be able to bring you back, but it's going to take me time to figure out how. And that's not something we have a lot of right now.
:'''Rex:''' Wow. Nice outfit.
:'''Noah:''' Got one for you, too. You get to armor up like the rest of us normals.
:'''Rex:''' Come on.
:'''Bobo:''' All right, where to?
:'''Rex:''' South Pacific.
:'''Bobo:''' That's my boy. And here I thought you'd try to pull some hero stunt. Oh, brother.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I want the White Knight. Find where he's hiding and bring him to me.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That should be everything, as long as the offsite backup holds.
:'''Six:''' Don't let it get to that.
:'''Noah:''' This is a strange place for a base.
:'''Rex:''' When I have too many nanites in me, this is where I go to offload.
:'''Bobo:''' Think of it as a nanite porta-potty.
:'''Noah:''' Thanks... For that image, Bobo. So, we just put some of these nanites in you, and we're good to go?
:'''Rex:''' No. They're inactive. Or at least stripped of their programming. Since I can't control them, I just have to hope that whatever this thing is inside me can't.
:'''Noah:''' So... What happens if it can't?
:'''Bobo:''' Let me put it this way-- The last guy who went swimmin' in that soup ended up a 50-foot freak show.
:'''White Knight:''' Listen to me carrefully, Van Kleiss.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I'd rather not.
:'''White Knight:''' Where are they?
:'''Six:''' The inner perimeter has been compromised. They're coming.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Ugh! Ungh!
:''[Skalamander roars]''
:''[Skalamander roars]''
:'''Biowulf:''' Open it.
:'''Rex:''' Okay. Bobo, set the thing to &quot;vent&quot; and go. If this doesn't work, I don't want you getting caught in the blast.
:'''Bobo:''' No.
:'''Noah:''' Forget it. Rex, at least think about his for a sec. What if it wipes your memory? What it turns you into some evil monster?
:'''Rex:''' My friends need me. There's nothing more to think about. Bobo, do it.
:'''Bobo:''' Long odds, pay big.
:''[Bobo groans]''
:'''Six:''' You've overstayed your welcome.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, here's someone who would make a nice addition to our EVO ranks.
:'''Six:''' Go ahead and try. Ugh!
:''[Six groans]''
:'''Rex:''' Trying to do my job for me, Six? Here's a thought-- When your top henchman can't even get rid of someone by throwing him out of a moving plane, time to rethink the help.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' You are determined-- I'll give you that. If it's what you prefer, I'll finish you myself.
:'''Rex:''' Maybe.
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa! Cool!
:'''Bobo:''' See? I told you it would work.
:'''Six:''' This is an unexpected surprise.
:'''Rex:''' Well, by now, you should expect the unexpected from me, Six.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ungh!
:''[Skalamander roars]''
:''[Dr. Holiday grunts]''
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Noah:''' Is that what I think it is?
:'''Bobo:''' Not anymore.
:'''Noah:''' You think there might be more of them?
:'''Bobo:''' Eh... Probably.
:''[Biowulf grunts]''
:''[Biowulf growls]''
:'''Biowulf:''' Aaaaaaah!
:'''White Knight:''' I use that electromagnet to trap stray nanites. You're lucky it's on the lowest setting. Any higher, and it would rip the nanites right out of your body.
:''[Biowulf grunts]''
:'''Biowulf:''' Then why don't you?
:'''White Knight:''' Because then I wouldn't be able to do this.
:'''Skalamander:''' No one can help you. You're all alone now.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Not exactly. We still have my sister.
:''[Skalamander grunting]''
:''[Rex and Van Kleiss grunts]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Aaaaah!
:'''Rex:''' No way!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ungh!
:'''Rex:''' Once again, epic fail. I'll take my nanites back now.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh!
:'''Noah:''' Rex, wait!
:'''Bobo:''' Van Kleiss left behind a few presents.
:'''Rex:''' No time to look everywhere. I'm shutting everything down.
:'''Noah:''' You can do that?
:'''Rex:''' Don't know. Never tried. Anything else? No?
:'''Calan:''' Whew! I never want to do that again. No, sir.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Amazing.
:'''Rex:''' Why, thank you.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I was talking about the nanites. That was a risky move, Rex, but it worked. As far as I can tell, you're back to your old self.
:'''Rex:''' I don't know. Something feels different. That new build-- I think I can do even more. It's like I can see the blueprints. I just need to figure out how to put it all together.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' White Knight in person. Never thought I'd see the day.
:'''White Knight:''' Well, don't get used to it. We found all the explosives. The base and the keep will need extensive repairs. This was not our finest hour.
:'''Rex:''' What are you talking about? We kicked butt! So what if Van Kleiss is back and more powerful than ever? So am I! If he wants a nanite war, let him bring it!
:''[White Knight laughs]''
:'''White Knight:''' It's good to have your back, Rex.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You know, I think he actually means it.
:'''Rex:''' Sure he does. So, tell me something, guys-- What's next?

==Season Two (2011)==
===Rampage===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' I'll give you the recap. Thanks to these microscopic machines called nanites, I can build cool gear out of my body. I'm what's called an EVO. But most evo's aren't lucky like me. They usually look like this. ''[laughing]'' I know what you're thinking. And they smell bad, too. There's one other thing I can do that makes me even more special. Some EVOs, I can cure. That's why I work for Providence. We're the people you call when an evo is tearing up your lawn or attacking a city. And the worst of them is this guy... Van Kleiss. The last time we fought, things got a little out of hand. I'll admit it... we pretty much got our tails handed to us. He steals the key, wrecks headquarters, hijacks my nanite to get back the powers I took away from him. And now he can actually make people into EVOs. Then, to top it off, he has his dog boy Biowulf throw me, overboard at 6,000 feet. Not that anyone's keeping score. Sure, Van Kleiss may be back, but so am I. So what if he can make EVOs? I can still cure them. He may have new powers, but guess what... I do, too. Ever since my powers came back, I've got the ability to make amazing new machines. Now I just have to figure out how to build more.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' If you're trying to check up on me, Six, the answer's still a big fat... ''[imitates buzzer]'' I can't figure out how to make this new build.
:'''Six:''' It might take some time, but you'll get it.
:'''Rex:''' And meanwhile, Van Kleiss is out there doing who knows what. I wish they'd hurry up and get the H.Q. Rebuilt. You're not still living out of your jump jet like some ninja hobo, are you?
:'''Six:''' My temporary accommodations are perfectly adequate.
:'''Rex:''' Yep. Still living in the jet. ''[Groans]'' I hate being kicked out of our house. Although, as long as they're building stuff, I need a hot tub.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;I was wondering when you and your hair would show up again, Van Kleiss.&quot;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Back to your old self again, I see. And how are those new abilities developing?&quot;
:'''Rex:''' Just fine. Thanks for asking.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Don't you have anything better to do with your life then come after me all the time?&quot;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' &quot;Funny you should ask.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Doc? How are those biometrics looking now?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Give it a try.
:'''Rex:''' Ah, yeah! It's about time! Machines work. I just hope the important part does.
:'''Noah:''' What just happened?
:'''Rex:''' Do you remember anything?
:'''Noah:''' It all kind of hazy. I mostly remember the feeling of... Fun. And I remember you punching me in the face.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah. Sorry about that. I thought you were trying to eat me. Come on. We've got a rat to catch. Why so happy? Is this the part where breach shows up and rescues you?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Actually, no. This is the part where she takes your inadequately guarded fuel core.
:'''Six:''' Six to post, what's your status? Six to post.
:'''Rex:''' Another decoy?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I should share some of the credit with your friend over here. He played the part to perfection.
:'''Noah:''' Gee, thanks.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, this would be the part where Breach shows up.
:'''Noah:''' I can't believe I did all this. Sounds like I had the time of my life.
:'''Rex:''' ''[laughing]'' It almost became your life. Sorry about that.
:'''Noah:''' Are you kidding? Just knowing I was a rampaging evo is cool. I wish I could have remembered at least some of it.
:'''Rex:''' It's probably all over the news if you want a replay... At least until you stepped on the news van.
:'''Noah:''' Well... ''[Exhales sharply]'' Guess it's back to quadratic equations.
:'''Rex:''' I have no idea what those are. I've got somewhere I need to be. See you later. I know. I'm not supposed to be here. I don't care if it's a construction zone. I'm moving back.
:'''Six:''' It's all right. Turns out you're not the only one who feels that way. You'll get used to the cold showers. Food, you're on your own. From the top?
:'''Rex:''' From the top.
:'''Six:''' What were you trying to build, anyway?
:'''Rex:''' A water jet. Oh, by the way, I need a new cellphone.
:'''Six:''' Yes?
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' It's after my glasses again.
:'''Six:''' Glasses?
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' This time I am serious. Now, when are you going to send someone out here?
:'''Six:''' Ma'am, I'm...
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' Do you even work for Providence?
:'''Six:''' Yes, I work for Providence.
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' What kind of a flimflam outfit is this?
:'''Six:''' How did you get this number?

===Wasteland===
===Tough Love===

===The Lost Weekend===
:'''Kenwyn:''' What did you to Skwydd?
:'''Mouse:''' Just shedding a light light on how dangerous his kind can be.
:'''Rex:''' By juicing his powers? What were you thinking?
:'''Mouse:''' Most inorganic material explodes when given that kind of molecular jolt, but not not nanites. They convert the energy into power that amplifies an E.V.O.'s abilities to tremendously uncontrollable levels.

===Star-Crossed===

===Alliance===
:'''Rex:''' ''[to himself]'' And he brought his Pack flunkies. Biowulf, Skalamander, Breach. Circe? Gotta hurry. Their headed straight for... someplace else. Gonna find out where.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Holiday:''' Rex why aren't you fixing that shield regulator?
:'''Rex:''' Hint. You may remember him from such schemes as destroying Providence headquarters, and trying to take over the entire Earth.
:'''Holiday:''' Van Kliess, in there? You're right. You should investigate after you fix the shield.
:'''Rex:''' Then it might be too late.
:'''Holiday:''' She's there, isn't she?
:'''Rex:''' Who? Breach? Yeah, but...
:'''Holiday:''' A quick recon and that's it.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Intriguing. An entire urban branch of EVO. development.
:'''Biowulf:''' This place is a waste of our time.
:'''Circe:''' Van Kleiss knows what he's doing. It's not your place to question.
:'''Biowulf:''' Question?! You dare accuse me of disloyalty?!
:'''Circe:''' Sorry. Get a grip!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' You're right, you know. We should be down there with him. What is he up to anyway?
:'''Biowulf:''' I do not know.
:'''Circe:''' You don't know? I thought he trusted you with everything.
:'''Biowulf:''' Of course he does! He just--
:'''Rex:''' Hey! Easy on the stealth suit, which apparently, isn't so stealthy.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''NoFace:''' Invaders have come before. They brought only pain.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' It is a pain we both share. The same Providence outsides attacked my lands, destroyed my army.
:'''NoFace:''' There was one who tormented us, humiliated us. The grower of machines.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ah, Rex. Another thorn we share. My proposal is simple: You control a formidable legion. I, in turn, can provide the escape and the vengeance you seek. I can be your liberator. You can be my general. Together we will crush our enemies, starting with the one you hate most. Now are we--
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, I have a report.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' ''[irritated]'' This is a private conversation. Can't you handle the sightest detail without bothering me?
:'''Biowulf:''' Of course, Master. It was nothing.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Here comes the moment when our brave hero sweeps the girl of her feet! Literally!
:'''Biowulf:''' Don't let him.
:'''Circe:''' Hey! Let--
:'''Rex:''' ''[flies off with Circe in his arms]''' See you around, henchie!
:'''Biowulf:''' ''[to Skalamander]''  Follow them.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' Down, now!
:'''Rex:''' Not till we hear each other out!
:'''Circe:''' Sure! I'll go first. 
:''[Breaks the Bogie Pack with a hypersonic burst, causing them to fall]''
:'''Rex:''' Oh, great. Way to go, Circe.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' ''[to himself]'' Our hero pursues the girl of his dreams, heedless of her attempts to break his heart... along with the rest of him. Circe, just one minute, okay? Look-No powers!
:'''Circe:''' One minute! But if this is about leaving the Pack--
:'''Rex:''' Please. I'm way past that. There are bigger things going here than who you hang out with.
:'''Circe:''' Fifty seconds!
:'''Rex:''' I wasn't sent here to spy on you. I'm here to stop these things from ever getting out.
:'''Circe:''' Forty! Why are you telling me this? You know who I am!
:'''Rex:''' You've seen the things that live here. Whatever deal you think Van Kleiss is making, it's going to turn out bad for everyone.
:'''Circe:''' Thirty seconds!
:'''Rex:''' I do know who you are, Circe. Just for once think for yourself. Maybe your perfect leader could actually be wrong, maybe even a bit crazy, nuts, certifiably insane!
: '''Circe:''' Shut up! Twenty! Talk about blinded. Did you ever wonder why Van Kleiss is so interested in you?
:'''Rex:''' Oh, I don't know. Maybe he wants me dead?
:'''Circe:''' Not anymore. Something has changed, Rex. Ever since you got your powers back, I hear him talking. Saying you have something that's the key to everything. For whatever reason, he needs you alive. I know it, Rex. He'd never let you be killed.
:'''Rex:''' Never, huh?
:'''Circe:''' Time's up! 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Now this looks like a party.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Rex, you never cease to amaze me.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''No-Face:''' Defiler! Give him to us!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now do you believe I can deliver what I say? Will yoh agree to my leadership?
:'''No-Face:''' We agree to it! Give him to us! Now! Now! Now!
:'''Circe:''' ''[very shocked]''' Van Kleiss, I didn't bring Rex here so that you could-- He'll kill him!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Never forget how I found you, Circe. What you were... before. He's yours. 
:''[Tears well up in Circe's eyes; thoroughly horrified that her master would calmly allow Rex's life to be put at risk]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' ''[weakly]''' Is this what you wanted? 
:''[Collapses from his inquiries, causing Circe to open her eyes]''
:'''Circe''' ''[tearful, pleading]'': Stop this! Please! You need him alive!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Alive, yes. Heart pumping, lungs breathing, but his mind? The less there's left of that, the better. Circe, I warn you: Lift so much as a finger to help him, and you're finished!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' You, Biowulf, even me. We're all just means to an end for him. He doesn't really care for any of us.
:'''Rex:''' So you finally figured that out. Better late than never, I guess.
:'''Circe:''' It's not too late! Not if I have anything to say about it!
:''[Extends her fleshly and grotesque EVOs mouth]''
:'''Bobo:''' Whoa! Whoa! There are some of us who might not like the sound of whatever you're about to do!
:'''Circe:''' I'll adjust the frequency to exclude friendly EVOs.
:'''Bobo:''' Does that include me?
:'''Circe:''' For now. 
:''[Uses her melodious, hypnotic singing to call back the EVOs escaping]''
:'''Rex:''' I thought you said you could filter it.
:'''Circe:''' It's not an exact science. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' Van Kleiss.
:'''Rex:''' Breach'll get him out... eventually. But right now he's in there, you're out here. You don't have a better opportunity to consider your options.
:''[Notice the two of them holding hands and let go, blushing]''
:'''Bobo:''' What is it stealing from our own people that's so dang satisfying?
:'''Circe:''' You forget to remove the tracker. I'm not going to Providence.
:'''Rex:''' Doesn't matter where you go. All that matters is that you want to go there. That said. I hear Hong Kong's nice this time of year.

===Robo Bobo===
===Divide By Six===
:'''One''': ''[Speaking through Rex]'' Six.
:'''Six''': One?
:'''One''': You left this place, quit life as a mercenary and so rarely returned to visit.
:'''Six''': I did what I felt was right, I never meant to dishonor.
:'''One''': So rarely, that I never had time to tell you how proud you've made me.
:'''Six''': ''[Takes off his glasses for the first time in the series]'' We're going to help you. We're going to take you home.
:'''One''': But Six, I  am home. ''[Rex falls unconscious while One's body starts changing. Eventually his body dissolves and fertilizes the entire island to its former splendor]''
: '''Six:''' He's still One. He's just one with everything.
===Mixed Signals===
: '''Rex:''' Whoa, big guy! Someone needs to ease off on the cheeseburgers.
: '''Six:''' Skip the insults. Start the containment.
: '''Rex:''' Like its feelings are going to get hurt. One bad and ugly going down. What?
: '''Six:''' Rex? Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Cool!
: '''Six:''' You want to explain this?
: '''Rex:''' I don't know. It's like some weird vision of this thing filled my head, then built itself out of me. Maybe the vision came from Blobbo. Maybe it's trying to talk to me. Come on, big boy. Send me some more pictures. What's on your mind?
: '''Six:''' Groceries. That's what's on its mind.
: '''Rex:''' I'm skipping. I'm over it. That vision must have been a fluke.
: '''Six:''' All right, then. We're going with a two-prong attack. Use caution. This kind of EVO might be a splitter. Rex! Snap out of it!
: '''Rex:''' Whoa! Whoa! Ha! I wasn't supposed to do that, right?
: '''Six:''' Rex, I want you back at HQ.
: '''Rex:''' But I feel okay now. And we've got, um-- Two blobs to put down.
: '''Six:''' Now!
: '''Holiday:''' No trace of any recent electrochemical or DNA abnormalities. Everything reads normal.
: '''Rex:''' But it's like the visions were being transmitted, and I was seeing it from a nanite point of view.
: '''Holiday:''' I can't track it, Rex. There's no sign of signal displacement or a nano disturbance. Maybe we should consider the possibility that this is psychological.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Pizza.
: '''Holiday:''' I think he's having another vision.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Of lunch?
: '''Rex:''' With pineapple and salmon.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Blech! He is nuts.
: '''Holiday:''' Aside from a strange choice in pizza toppings, all readings are normal. I can't explain it.
: '''Rex:''' Well, if my nanites are trying to get me to build something, maybe we should give them what they want.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Whatever it is, I'm not eating it. Is that my electric toothbrush?
: '''Rex:''' It better not be the one I've been using.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Oh.
: '''Rex:''' This is what I'm seeing in my head. As stupid as it looks. It's like someone or something is sending me instructions to build some big device.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Or build a pizza with pineapple and salmon.
: '''Rex:''' Okay. I'm not sure about that vision.
: '''Holiday:''' Is that my hairdryer?
: '''Rex:''' I just need to figure out what it does. Maybe it's a time machine. Or-- Or alien technology!
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Maybe it's just a big pile of junk. Or a way to order a really awful pizza.
: '''Contraption Voice:''' Target acquired.
: '''Holiday:''' Rex!
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Wake up!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Provindece Soldier #1:''' Hey, where do you think you're going? We've got a security breach. Front floor.
: '''Providence Soldier #2:''' Lockdown protocols enabled. All hands report to duty station. Security speed, take position.
: '''Rex:''' Sorry, guys. I might be a little... late.
: '''Caesar:''' Case compression. Release.
: '''Rex:''' Figures I'd build a machine with a serious attitude problem.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[taking off his helmet and turns to Rex]'' Rex, is that you?
: '''Rex:''' Who’s asking?
: '''Caesar:''' It’s me, Caesar, your brother! Mijo! ''[Hugs Rex]'' You're alive and... older. ''[Rex is dumbfounded]'' Uh. Atomic clock was right... ''[spanish accent]'' Es una problema grande.
: '''Rex:''' Uh, yeah. ''[Pushes Caesar]'' It is a big problem.
: '''Caesar:''' What is this place? Who are you people? ''[to Rex]'' I'm getting you out of here!
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Sorry, amigo. Put your hands up. Or don't. I got a clear shot either way.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[is looking at Bobo]'' A talking chimp?
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Don't bother. I've heard all the jokes.
: '''Caesar:''' Have they hurt you? Are you okay? Stand aside.
: '''Rex:''' Hello? Do I get a say in this?
: '''Holiday:''' If you're part of some elaborate plan to kidnap Rex, then you failed.
: '''Caesar:''' Listen, bonita, you don't wanna make me use this.
: '''Rex:''' ''[gets in between them]'' Enough! Normally around here when someone barges in talking crazy, they get around into the deck plates by my giant fists. But you seem legit. I'm going with him.
: '''Holiday:''' Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Okay, brother. Lead the way. So if you are my brother, where have you been all this time?
: '''Caesar:''' I'll explain later when we're safe.
: '''Rex:''' Uh, this is Providence. We are safe. Usually.
: '''Caesar:''' Providence? Never heard of it. To be honest, the last five years has been a bit of a blur.
: '''Rex:''' I want to believe you, but I'm gonna need some proof.
: '''Caesar:''' Your name is Rex Salazar. Our parents are Violetta and Raphael. The last time I saw you was at the Applied Nanite Research Lab in Abysus; right before those fools triggered a replication cycle.
: '''Rex:''' And I have total amnesia so, for all I know, that could be completely bogus.
: '''Caesar:''' There's a scar on the back of your left knee you got when you were seven, riding the gantry arm in the reactor annex.
: '''Rex:''' Hmm. I always wondered how I got that.
:''[they go out and Rex notices Caesar Salazar's pod laboratory]''
: '''Rex:''' Whoa. Nice wheels.
: '''Six:''' ''[Comes out and unsheathed his swords]'' Don't even think about it.
: ''[Caesar is about to attack but Rex stops him]''
: '''Rex:''' It's okay. Six isn't going to hurt you. Right, Six? You're comming in a little late on this, but, uh, this is Caesar, my brother, and he wants to get me out of here. So, let's just let my brother have his way and see where this all goes. Wherever you plan on going, they're going to follow us. You know that, right?
: '''Caesar:''' They can try.
: '''Rex:''' I don't know. Providence ship are pretty fast.
: '''Six:''' Track Rex's bio signature and find out who that guy really is.
: '''Rex:''' You ain't kidding. This thing moves fast. A-are we in the arctic?
: '''Caesar:''' How do you think I got to your location so quickly once the locator signaled me?
: '''Rex:''' Locator? You sent me the schematics to build that thing? It tried to crush me like a bug!
: '''Caesar:''' Sorry, mijo. I wasn't really trying to hurt. ''[scans Rex's body]'' I was looking for what's hiding inside of you. ''[showing Rex the result]'' The Omega One Nanite.
: '''Rex:''' That thing? Holiday discovered it before. We had no idea what it was.
: '''Caesar:''' I sent signal instructions for the Omega One to track and contain. But since the nanite has integrated into your DNA, you became the conduit for building the machine. What I don't get is how the Omega One got inside of you. Rylander was supposed to have that under lock and key.
: '''Rex:''' Rylander? He's the one who put it inside me.
: '''Caesar:''' Why would he do a thing like that? I'm really gonna have to let old fool have it when I see him.
: '''Rex:''' Not possible-- Courtesy of Van Kleiss.
: '''Caesar:''' Van Kleiss?! What does that third-rate lab hack have to do with this?
: '''Rex:''' What? I guess I’m not the only one who needs an update. Where have you been?
: '''Caesar:''' It's a long story-- actually, short by my clock. A splinter group had formed at the lab. They had other ideas about how the nanites would be used. We tried to stop them, and you were hurt. The only way to save your life was an infusion of nanites. It was risky, but it worked. We thought that'd be enough to stop the others, make them see the right path. But we were wrong. Mom and Dad were in the reactor. As for me, I managed to escape in my lab. But the shock wave, the same shock wave that probably blanked your memory.... also interfered with engine that powers this pod. I was stuck in sub-light drive.
: '''Rex:''' How long?
: '''Caesar:''' Fifteen minutes. That's how long it took me to reboot the system. But at the speed I was going, it was 5 years of your time. I knew there was an accident, but I had no idea how bad. My nanite sensors were off the charts. My 1st priority was to insure the OM-1 was safe. That was our promise. And here we are. So, what have I missed these past five years?
: '''Rex:''' Providence? We need to talk. They can wait.
: '''Caesar:''' So let me understand, there are EVOs and Van Kleiss claimed as their leader?
: '''Rex:''' Well, not for all of them, yet. I want to know about me, about our parents.
: '''Caesar:''' They were scientists. We lived all over the world. Things settled down when you came along. That was in Geneva.
: '''Rex:''' Wait a second. Are you saying I'm Swiss?
: ''Caesar:'' Not really. Mother was born in Mexico City. Father in Buenos Aires.
: '''Rex:''' And they're really... gone? ''[Caesar slowly nods sadly]''
: '''Rex:''' Um, where exactly did this ship take us?
: '''Caesar:''' What do you know?We're back at the original lab site.
: '''Rex:''' You mean the one in Abysus?
: '''Caesar:''' Is that a problem?
: '''Rex:''' I'd say just a small one. We should go, like now.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[typing]'' Hmm... Must be low on charge.  ''[walks out the door]'' We may be stuck, but on the bright side, I can take a look at some of these variegated organisms. ''[goes out]''
: '''Rex:''' Caesar! Wait!
: ''[outside and observing the EVOs]''
: '''Caesar:''' Fascinating. We theorized mutations might occur but never anything this random.
: ''[Rex hits the EVO before they got near Caesar]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Sorry, bro, but these guys--
: ''[Rex hits another EVO]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Usually don't sit still for questions.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[seeing Rex's new build]'' Hmm... That's new.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Guess I've learned a--
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' A few tricks. But they still won't be enough if Van Kleiss shows up with all his goons. Six!
: '''Six:'''We're locked onto you. The keep is already on its way.
: '''Rex:''' Your ship may be out of juice, but I'm not. Hop on. I can get us out of here.
: '''Caesar:''' I won't leave my lab, and you definitely don't want Van Kleiss getting his hands on some of the things in here. I'll try to reroute the capacitors to an alternate power source.
: '''Caesar:''' Oh, you wanna see a photo of you, me, and papi? Maybe later.
: '''Rex:''' You're a little off, aren't you, Caesar? 
: '''Biowulf:''' What was that machine it flew off with?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' A laboratory. One I thought I'd never see again. It seems an old friend has returned-Caesar.
: '''Rex:''' Providence isn't so bad now, eh, hermano?
: '''Caesar:''' Is this a Grinnell? They always made good consoles, except for the random power surges.
: '''Six:''' Well?
: '''Rex:''' Everything's cool. He's a little kooky, but I'm pretty sure he's my brother.
: '''Six:''' Glad to hear it. Now I need you back. We still have some unfinished business.
: '''Rex:''' Got to get back to work.
: '''Caesar:''' My little brother, the hero. I remember when you just wanted to be a musician.
: '''Rex:''' Guitar? No, wait drums.
: '''Caesar:''' Accordion.
: '''Rex:''' You got to be kidding me!
: '''Six:''' As I recall, you started it.
: '''Rex:''' Huh?
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Six:''' The EVO is dividing faster than we can contain it. The city is being evacuated.
: '''Caesar:''' Hmm. Excuse me, admiral. I need you to take me down there immediately. Afraid I'll have to insist.
: '''Six:''' Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Are you crazy?!
: '''Caesar:''' Depends on who you ask. I had something in my lab that I thought could help.
: '''Six:''' Help? You're not even supposed to be outside the keep.
: '''Rex:''' WHOO-HOO! Way to go, bro! First day on the job, and you already got a save!
: '''Six:''' Job?
: '''Rex:''' Oh, come on, admit it, Six. He just saved our chicharrones.
: ''[Caesar laughs]''
: '''Rex:''' What? What's so funny?
: '''Caesar:''' You always make me laugh when you try to speak Spanish.
: '''Holiday:''' We've pulled his records, and I've confirmes his DNA. It seems Rex really does have a brother.
: '''White Knight:''' If everything I've read about him is true, he could be an incredible asset to Providence.
: '''Six:''' Or a major liability.
: '''White Knight:''' All the more reason to keep him with us. Give him whatever he needs.
: '''Holiday:''' White's right, Six. He knows more about nanites than anyone on the planet. He helped invent them.
: '''Six:''' My point exactly. He's settling in?
: '''Rex:''' I guess so. Caesar's a little strange. Hard to believe he's actually my brother.
: '''Six:''' I'm happy for you, Rex. You always said you wanted to find your family.
: '''Rex:''' Thanks, but... You know that? I already did. Caesar may be my brother, but you, Holiday, Bobo, you're who I have a connection with.
: '''Bobo:''' Aww, now, see, I'm getting all misty.
: '''Caesar:''' There you are. Hmm. Nice view. Say, mijo, you think your cafeteria could whip up a pizza with pineapple and salmon? I've been craving one for days.
: '''Bobo:''' Connection, huh?

===Outpost===
:'''Valentina:''' Ugh! We were returning them to their natural habitat! What Providence does is wrong and against the natural order of things! You're a traitor to your own kind.
:'''Rex:''' That's creature's job is to ''exterminate'' mankind! It wanted to kill you!

===Haunted===
===Moonlighting===
===Without a Paddle===

===Written in Sand===
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, I need an uptade.
:'''Rex''': I'm right at the edge. Anything still alive in there is trying to get away from the sandstorm.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': It's not the storm they're running from. The nanites inside them are forcing the animals away. It's creating a kind of nanite-free zone.
:'''Rex''': Ha! We should call White Knight. Maybe he'll move here and leave us all alone.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': It's no laughing matter, Rex. It could be the most significant development since the original nanite event.
:'''Rex''': Yeah, yeah. Possible cures save the world-- Got it. I'll check it out.
:'''Bobo''': Hey, doc. You may wanna get a load of this over here.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Negative. The storm is moving in too fast. Just place a sensor and pack it in.
:'''Rex''': Hey. No. It couldn't be. Rex to base. We got trouble of the egomaniacal EVO kind.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Van Kleiss is here? Why am I not surprised?
:'''Rex''': I think the real question is, if everything else is in such a race to get out, why is he going on? 
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, wait.
:'''Rex''': Don't worry, doc. It's me. What could possibly happen?
:'''Skalamander''': RARGH! PTUH! They're nothing but dirt.
:'''Biowulf''': My senses-- Useless in all this sand.
:'''Van Kleiss''': This phenomenon deserves my personal attention. What we seek is nearby. I can feel it pushing against me.
:'''Rex''': ''[Rex emerges from the sand storm]'' Yeah?
:''[Skalamander grunts]''
:'''Rex''': ''[Rex kicks Skalamander]'' How about kicking against you, too?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Rex! You're not welcome here.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': Now, that hurt my feelings!
:''[Rex groaning]''
:''[Skalamander pins him to the sand, causing him to groan in pain]''
:''[Skalamander laughs]''
:'''Rex''': Aaah! Whoa!
:'''Van Kleiss''': If I never see your face again, It will be too soon!
:'''Rex''': Yeah? The feeling's-- Whoa! Mutual!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex? Rex, do you read me?
:''[Bobo coughing]''
:'''Bobo''': Okay, we gotta get outta here. I got sand in places I didn't even know I had places.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, if you can hear me, we're retreating to the safe zone. Rendezvous with us there.
:'''Rex''': AAAAH! WHOA-OHHHHHHH!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex coughs]''
:'''Rex''': Okay, Kleiss-- Go time! No EVO allies, just you and-- Whoa! Uh, sorry, buddy. Didn't mean to bring you along for the ride.
:'''Van Kleiss''': I don't need my EVO allies, when I can simply make more.
:'''Rex''': Don't get me wrong-- I love punching stuff. But anything you can do, I can undo better! We can do this all day. Or you can just spill it.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': Why are you causing this nanite-free zone?
:'''Van Kleiss''': How convenient it must be to make me the root of all evil. I'm not causing it. I've come to discover the source and destroy it.
:'''Rex''': This could be the cure to nanites.
:'''Van Kleiss''': And I live off nanites. What Providence calls a cure, I call death.
:'''Rex''': Really? Haven't we moved past this?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Huh?
:''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
:''[After Van Kleiss creates a scorpion EVO to attack Rex, it attacks him instead.]''
:'''Rex''': That is the funniest thing I have ever seen! Hang on-- I got to get this on video. ''[Takes out cell phone and starts recording Van Kleiss dodging the scorpion EVO.]''
:''[Van Kleiss panting]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Something's wrong. I should be controlling this creature.
:'''Rex''': Stinks to be you. Huh? You ruined my shot!
:'''Van Kleiss''': I believe we've found something more interesting.
:'''Rex''': You like to point out the obvious, don't you?
:'''Bobo''': Don't get me wrong-- I love the kid, but if we don't pull stakes now, we'll be combing dust outta all sorts of places for years.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Too late. Hold on to everything that's not tied down. This is going to be a bumpy... ride.
:'''Six''': Holiday? I trust you're all right?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': I'm fine, Six. But Rex is still out there-- With Van Kleiss. I can't reach him.
:'''Six''': We'll prep a rescue party. Prepare to come aboard.
:'''Rex''': Hey!
:'''Van Kleiss''': This is not simply a nanite-free zone. Something is stealing the nanites from our bodies. If we linger here too long, we may both find ourselves defenseless against the other.
:'''Rex''': Well, then, we'd better blow this joint. And when I say &quot;we&quot; I mean &quot;me&quot;.
:''[Rex tries to escape and fails]''
:'''Rex''': AAAAAAAAH!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': If either of us is to escape this place, we will have to work together.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': What exactly are you suggesting?
:'''Van Kleiss''': A temporary truce.
:'''Rex''': An extremely temporary truce.
:'''Van Kleiss''': We'll work our way to the center of the nanite storm.
:'''Rex''': No, we work our way out of the nanite storm and get Providence in here to figure out what's happening.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Providence? They can't be trusted.
:'''Rex''': Them? Didn't you try to take over New York? And Europe? And the world?
:'''Van Kleiss''': You need to listen to me, Rex. Without a powers, you're nothing but a child.
:'''Rex''': Oh, yeah? Truce over! Okay. This is awkward. Hey, is it just me, or are you getting really dust?
:'''Van Kleiss''': It's happening faster than I thought.
:'''Rex''': What's happening faster? If you know something, you'd better spit it out, or-- Whoa! It all looks fossilized. Like it's made completely out of... sand.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Not only are there no nanites here, this is pure silicone. There are no other elements-- No carbon, calcium, hydrogen. It appears that this zone not only destroys nanites, but is--
:'''Rex''': Squeezing the life from the Earth. This isn't sand. This is me!
:''[Rex whimpering]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': These glyphs-- There's something familiar about them. Sumatran? Mesopotamian?
:'''Rex''': Less geeking, more escaping!
:'''Van Kleiss''': We need to find the epicenter of this maze. These glyphs may hold the answer.
:'''Rex''': Only if one says &quot;exit sign.&quot;
:'''Van Kleiss''': No need to panic, Rex. We have at least twenty minutes before fossilization-- Give or take.
:'''Rex''': &quot;Don't panic&quot;-- Says the guy who used to be dirt.
:''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
:'''Rex''': We're turning into walking litter boxes, and you're checking out caveman graffiti? No wonder I'm always kicking your butt.
:'''Van Kleiss''': You don't have an investigative bone in your body, do you? So strongheaded-- Just like your mother. ''[Rex is silent]'' No, you don't like that, do you-- That I know more about you than you do?
:'''Rex''': Skip the head games. Isn't exactly a good time.
:'''Van Kleiss''': No, but perhaps it is time for some truth. We may perish down here, Rex. Ask me anything you want about the past, and I'll answer it.
:'''Rex''': ''[looks at his own slowly fossilizing body]'' Sell it somewhere else. I'm not buying.
:''[walks away]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Oh, so the great and powerful Providence has finally come through on their promise to help you remember your past.
:'''Rex''': Something better-- Someone who was actually there at the Nanite Event.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Aha. Your brother, Caesar.
:''[Van Kleiss chuckles evilly]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': I've been following you both very closely since his... miraculous reappearance. Even if you don't want to hear what I have to say, this one's for free. Do not place your trust in Caesar. He's not the man you believe him to be.
:'''Rex''': ''[creates his BFS and holds it at Van Kleiss' throat]'' What are you getting at?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Oh, no, no. That's not how this works. It isn't my turn. Quid pro quo, Rex. If you want to know more-- Why don't we start with something simple? Rylander's Omega Nanite. I know it's inside you.
:'''White Knight''': Status uptade?
:'''Six''': Still no fix on Rex. Scanners can't cut through the storm, so we're moving in to stage a recon.
:'''White Knight''': I will not risk everyone on board that ship for one agent. Not even that agent.
:''[Holiday subtly ends the call. Then to Six]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Whoops. Guess the satellite feed went down. Nasty sand.
:''[Six smirks]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Caesar? Wanted you to know we haven’t found him yet.
:'''Caesar''': Found who?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex.
:'''Caesar''': Right. Ah. Sorry. That was, uh, fifteen minutes ago. I've done about five hundred task since then. Try calibrating the keep's sensors to search for traces of Selenium. It's something Rex naturally gives off, like dandruff.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': I-- Really? Hmm. Okay, thanks.
:'''Van Kleiss''': So what you're saying is, the motor runs off of gravity and the only exhausts are atoms of selenium.
:'''Rex''': Now you. Squid Pro... Whatever. The nanites, the Event. What started all this?
:'''Van Kleiss''': He didn't tell you? I'm not surprised. It was Caesar.
:''[Rex pushes Van Kleiss to nearest wall and take out his BFS once again]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Wasteful, Rex.
:'''Rex''': You're lying!
:'''Van Kleiss''': Hardly. Your brother is responsible for the most significant catastrophe in human history. You have to admit that as brilliant as Caesar is, he's... not quite right. Am I telling you something that you haven't already noticed?
:''[Rex groans]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': HAAAH!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Van Kleiss coughing]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': You seem to have awoken some sort of defense mechanism.
:'''Rex''': What are they defending? Rocks?
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Before we're totally devoid of nanites, we need to end this now-- Together.
:'''Rex''': Back to back!
:'''Van Kleiss''': What?
:'''Rex''': Haven't you ever read a comic book? Back to back! No way. These markings-- They're not hieroglyphics. They're circuit boards. This whole cave, this valley-- It's one giant circuit board. These are data conduits-- Ms. Hubs!
:'''Van Kleiss''': You're right. These spirals are solid-state storage-- The standard design for a firewall in a CPU.
:'''Rex''': Did you just say I'm right? Now that I know what we're dealing with, it's a simple matter of-- Hacking in. This is malo-- Muy malo. Van Kleiss, meet the psycho computer who calls herself--
:'''Van Kleiss''': Zag-RS?
:'''Rex''': How do you know that? ''[Zag-RS notices them and attacks them]'' You know Zag-RS? How?
:'''Van Kleiss''': She was designed as a decontamination program at the original nanite laboratory. Her task was to destroy any rogue nanites that escaped from the holding tanks.
:'''Rex''': She did a great job. Whoever designed her should be taken out and beaten with a tendril.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Caesar designed her.
:'''Rex''': I'm gonna have to have a chat with my brother when this is over.
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Focus, you fool. If we're to survive this, we have to use whatever nanites we have left to shut her down.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': No problemo! Ah, come on! Stay up! Show off!
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': Well, this bites.
:''[Rex straining]''
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': Didn't I leave you in orbit? Shouldn't you have burned up in re-entry or something?
:'''Zag-RS''': Re-entry resulted in a hard desert landing. This unit faced complete system failure. Salvation came from integration with the host space station power cell, where new initiatives were established.
:'''Rex''': Turning the world into a sandbox?
:'''Zag-RS''': Correct. The prevention of organic infection by elimination of organic matter and securing the Earth core system. Soon, this world will function without flaw.
:'''Rex''': Van Kleiss! Change of plan! While, I've got Zaggy occupied, you go and warn Providence before it's too late!
:'''Van Kleiss''': There's no time. Her strength is growing exponentially. To achieve victory, you must trust me.
:'''Rex''': Trust you?! That's comedy gold! Even if I was that big of a doof, neither one of us had enough power to fight back!
:'''Van Kleiss''': That's not entirely true.
:'''Rex''': Huh?
:'''Van Kleiss''': I've not been completely honest with you.
:'''Rex''': Stunned-- Really.
:'''Van Kleiss''': The Omega Nanite within you has a self-replicating program. You can create your own nanites.
:'''Rex''': What?! Why didn't you tell me!
:'''Van Kleiss''': A calculated emission.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': No way.
:'''Van Kleiss''': There-- That is the heart of Zag-RS. Strike while you can!
:'''Rex''': Oh, yeah! Now we're talking! Normally, I don't fight girls, but this time I'll make... A big... giant... robot exception!
:'''Dr. Holiday''': I found him, Six-- twenty kilometers northeast. There's a huge spike in trace selenium.
:'''Six''': Charge all weapons.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': The storm's starting to break. But please don't crash.
:'''Rex''': YAAAH!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': That's not fair! It worked in the movie!
:''[Rex whimpers]''
:''[Rex groaning]''
:'''Rex''': AAAH!
:'''Zag-RS''': You have miscalculated, human. The more nanites you replicate, the more energy you supply me. 7.5 seconds until I overtake your production.
:''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
:'''Zag-RS''': 4.3 seconds.
:'''Van Kleiss''': AAAAAAAAAH!
:'''Rex''': YAAAAAAH! One psycho robot down, one supervillain to chicken! Finally!
:'''Bobo''': What, you never heard the term &quot;fashionably late&quot;?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Your nanite-replicating function seems to be working well. Most of Zag-RS' alterations have been expunged.
:'''Rex''': Meaning... What?
:'''Bobo''': You ain't gonna wash away at high tide.
:'''Caesar''': This is my design.
:'''Rex''': Great-- My brother created Zag-RS.
:'''Caesar''': Evidently. Though her evolution into some sort of sentient nanite-slayer is most curious.
:'''Six''': Curious?
:'''Rex''': What about what Van Kleiss said?
:'''Caesar''': You mean I'm to blame for the original nanite event? Why don't we ask her? Wait! Interface protocols. Code designate Zag-RS. Respond.
:'''Zag-RS''': Dr. Salazar. Good morning. How may I assist you?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Stand down, gentlemen. Zag-RS has been successfully rebooted. But her memory has been wiped clean.
:'''Rex''': What? You got to be kidding me!
:'''Caesar''': That's interesting. Hmm. Van Kleiss must have implemented a program dump before he left you. It's the only logical conclusion.
:'''Rex''': Program dump?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Do not place your trust in Caesar. He's not the man you believe him to be.
:'''Rex''': Great. So now all we've got is a lame decontamination program with a GPS lady's voice?
:'''Caesar''': GPS lady? Hardly.
:'''Rex:''' I was making a joke.
:'''Caesar''': Don't you recognize it? When I programmed her, I wanted a voice that meant safety, protection, caring. Rex, this is our mother's voice.
:'''Rex''': ''[shocked]'' Mama?

===Night Falls===
: '''Rex:''' If she's not really our grandmother, why are you calling her ''aubuela''?
: '''Caesar:''' There may not be a biological connection but she practically ran the entire town. When you were a boy, you spent every summer here.
: '''Rex:''' I wish I could remember...or any of this.
===Hard Target===
: '''Rex:''' &quot;It's Breach! She's-&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Messing with you, Rex. Did you actually see on her the other side?&quot;
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Well, no but...OK, why Hong Kong?&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Because it's on the other side of the world, because she's seriously messed up.&quot;
: '''Cricket:'''&quot; Kind of like our place.&quot; 
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Trust me. She's back in Abysus laughing it off with the rest of the Pack. Besides, I'm not that easy to find.&quot;
: (''Removes the white towel to reveal her shoulder-length black hair partly dyed a deep plum and having donned a dark gray overall dress'')
: '''Rex:''' &quot;OK, Rex. Bad intro. Take a do-over. Like the new look.&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Wow. A compliment.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Skywdd:''' &quot;And that's when Circe goes all [[w:Siren (mythology)|siren]] and blasts the bus driver's pants clean off.&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;Lucky shot. Hit the exact frequency of polyester.&quot;
:'''Tuck:''' &quot;Good thing his boxers were cotton.&quot;
:'''Rex''' (''uncomfortable'')''':''' &quot;Good one. Uh, Circe, remember when you took down that sea monster in Cabo Luna?&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;Please, Rex, I'd rather not remember that right now.&quot;
:'''Skywdd:''' Geez, Rex. Buzzkill.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Stop it.&quot;
:'''Skywdd:''' &quot;What's with him?&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;Breach lag. Let clean over his bedtime.&quot;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;That and my early morning snooze. By the way, you were right. Breach wasn't after you. She freed Quarry. Got this from the Providence security feed.&quot;
:'''Skywdd:''' &quot;Quarry?&quot;
:'''Tuck:''' &quot;He's lose?&quot;
:'''Cricket:''' &quot;Oh no.&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;You saw Breach and came back ''here!'' What if she followed you!?&quot;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Don't worry. If Breach were here, I'd feel it. She's here.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Breach:''' &quot;Hey, girlfriend.&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Get out of here, Breach!&quot;
: '''Breach:''' &quot;But Van Kleiss has so been wanting to chat.&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Then deliver a message for him! &quot;
: (''Uses her ultrasonic bursts on Breach, who creates a portal behind her, knocking her out with her own sonic abilities)''
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Let her go, Breach!!&quot;
: '''Breach:''' &quot;Oh, sorry, Rex. She's gonna save my skin. V.K.'s tough on failure, remember?&quot;
: (''Teleports away with an unconscious Circe on her shoulder'')
: '''Rex:''' &quot;NO!!&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Hold that thought. You can come out now. I got that creeped out feeling.&quot;
:'''Breach:''' &quot;Peek a boo.&quot;
: '''Skwydd:''' &quot;It's her!'' She took Circe.&quot;
: '''Rex:''' But not to Van Kleiss. You never went to Abysus, did you? You slipped her into your little pocket dimension. Let her go, Breach!
: '''Breach:''' And I agree to that...why?
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Because you wouldn't want Van Kleiss to see this. I'm thinking a trade is in order.&quot;
: (''Breach releases Circe, who is caught by Skwydd'')
: '''Circe:''' &quot;I hate you, Breach.&quot;

===A Family Holiday===
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' The pace of study has been staggeringly slow. There have been no significant advancements in nanite research since the original event. Simply put, Providence is not doing enough. What is required is not a military response, but a serious, thoughtful reaction, a scientific answer. The poor and afflicted deserve more. The world, deserves more. Let me introduce Diane. Mother of three. Diane has been diagnosed as incurable, a lost cause. Since then, she's been treated like an animal, locked away from her family... No hope on the horizon. Until now. At Moses Labs, we don't rely on tanks, guns, or secret weapons-- Only an unwavering belief that whatever science breaks, science can fix. Welcome back, Diane.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Happy birthday, little sister.
:'''Rex:''' Hope that I paid the bills. This is going to be expensive.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Caesar:''' Release the hounds.
:''[a door opens revealing some Evo hounds]''
:'''Rex:''' Huh? Whoa!
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Heh! I thought that was just a figure of speech. You're a sick puppy.
:'''Rex:''' Aah! Not cool, bro!
:''[Rex panting]''
:'''Rex:''' ''[Spanish accent]'' Agua, por favor.
:'''Caesar:''' Water second, probes first.
:'''Rex:''' No offense, but being a guinea pig is a lot less fun when it's you instead of Holiday.
:'''Caesar:''' Don't I run the biometric tests with the same efficiency?
:'''Rex:''' How are we related? Have you looked at Holiday?
:'''Bobo Haha:''' She ain't my species and even I know she's a hottie.
:'''Caesar:''' She is... very smart.
:'''Rex:''' Where is the Doc anyway? She usually can't wait to get her hands on me.
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Saw her this morning, looking pretty grim.
:'''Agent Six:''' It's her sister. Her sister's birthday to be precise. Holiday gets introspective this time of year.
:'''Caesar:''' Her sister? Oh, is she smart too?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hey guys. Can't talk. Hangar!
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Ah, human dames. I don't know how you guys keep up.
:''[Dr. Holiday pants]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Thank you for coming, Dr. Moses. It's a genuine honor.
:'''Rex:''' Who the heck is that guy? Why is Holiday acting all fangirl around him?
:'''Caesar:''' It's Dr. Brandon Moses, the leading researcher in technogenic transmorphing! If anyone's going to develop a kill  for EVOs, it's going to be him!
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Now, that's actin' fan-girl.
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Not the worst I've seen.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Can you help her?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Beverly would be an excellent candidate for my treatments. Have her transported to my facility.
:'''Rex:''' Hold up! I know you have a bunch of letters after your name, but curing EVOs is what I do. Some of them--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Some you just can't handle, Rex. Dr. Moses' research goes to places you don't, so if you don't mind-- 10 minutes, then we'll be in the air. Thank you, doctor. I've earned 5 years' worth of personal time, Knight. I plan to use it all. 
:'''White Knight:''' I don't like it, but I like your sister even less. Go for your &quot;cure&quot;, Holiday. But if it doesn't work, don't bring her back.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Agent Six:''' What do you really know about Dr. Moses?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I know what I saw.
:'''Agent Six:''' You're not taking her to the doctor for a checkup. Has he handed you supporting data?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Why won't you let me have this? It's the first glimmer of hope I've had since Rex got here.
:'''Agent Six''': I think you've lost your objectivity. If you can't help her--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That's the point! I can't! I need this cure. If you won't help me, stay out of my way!
:'''Rex:''' Any chance she's right?
:'''Agent Six:''' Hope she is.
:'''Rex:''' But we're not going to sit around and do nothing in case she's wrong, right? Today you're my sidekick-- Not a fashion-challenged soccer mom blocking my mojo. If there's any chance of playing hero for Holiday, I call dibs.
:'''Security guard:''' Dr. Moses' inventions are not for public viewing-- Especially not by Providence.
:''[Security guard grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' That &quot;soccer mom&quot; comment really got to you, huh? When did science geeks start packing heat? Huh?
:'''Agent Six:''' Check the machine.
:'''Rex:''' I'm no engineer, but as far as I can tell, all this thing does is light up and go &quot;ping&quot;. They never cured it! This was a scam!
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday's in trouble. Holiday, Moses is a fraud. There is no cure!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' What's going on here? Moses, what is this?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Business, Dr. Holiday-- Big business. Now, if you wouldn't mind stepping aside so I can collect your sister--
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday?! What's happening?!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Or don't step aside. I'm good either way.
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday! We've got our coordinates. Go!
:'''Rex:''' It's a hundred miles away!
:'''Agent Six:''' Correct.
:'''Rex:''' Hold on to your swords, old man!
:''[Dr. Holiday grunts]:''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I trusted you!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' A bad trait, a scientist. But look on the bright side-- You won't be locked in a cell anymore. That was just... Shameful.
:'''Rex:''' Be the hero. Be the hero. Be the--
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' ...Zero. You'll be a lot less grouchy in a few seconds, pal. Half cured? That's new.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' They've got Beverly.
:'''Rex:''' You wanna talk to her?
:'''Agent Six:''' Now's not the time.
:'''Rex:''' And when exactly is. She needs a friend, Six.
:'''Agent Six:''' I... prefer to keep it professional. Keeps people from getting hurt.
:'''Rex:''' Dude. Take off the sunglasses. She's already hurting. If I were you--
:''[Six gets a radio signal]''
:'''Agent Six:''' If you were me, you'd have a lead. Get Holiday. Dust off in 3.
:'''Rex:''' Where are we going?
:'''Agent Six:''' Moses may be a genius but not because he can cure EVOs. He overpowers them-- Hypercharges the nanites with excess energy to push their transformations.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That's why Rex only partially cured that EVO he stripped the EVO of its extra power. But at its core, it was still incurable.
:'''Rex:''' We learned something new today. Great.
:'''Agent Six:''' Gets worse. Moses has turned his tech into a cottage industry. He takes incurables and weaponizes them to sell to the highest bidder.
:'''Rex:''' Don't sugarcoat it, Six.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' How did you find this out?
:'''Agent Six:''' I called some former associates-- People who know things, things that good people shouldn't know about.
:'''White Knight:''' Question-- Why is my keep on an unapproved mission?
:'''Rex:''' It's cool, Knight. We're helping Holiday.
:'''White Knight:''' No! We had a deal! Return to base immediately!
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's over guys. I can't drag you down because of my mistake. I won't.
:'''Agent Six:''' Keep returning to base.
:''[Knight ends the transmission]''
:'''Agent Six:''' I said the keep is returning to base. I didn't say we'd be on the keep.
:'''Rex:''' You okay?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hanging in there.
:'''Rex:''' Hanging in there is good. I don't like to see you unhappy, you know. I-I mean--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I know what you mean. Thanks.
:'''Agent Six:''' Better luck next time.
:''[Rex gasps]''
:'''Rex:''' Jealous much, sidekick?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Who is that?
:'''Rex:''' Someone who knows things good people shouldn't.
:'''Five:''' Machine boy! Like the new ax? You owe me for the last one.
:'''Agent Six:''' We'll talk music later, Five. You have word on Moses?
:'''Five:''' Five don't lie. Your guy is running an auction-- Tonight.
:'''Agent Six:''' I owe you.
:'''Five:''' She's a lot more beautiful than you let on, Six. Try not to screw it up this time.
:'''Agent Six:''' You coming?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' The EVO is the military ordinance of the future. We all know it. You drop one of these babies into your neighbor's backyard, and it's game over. But to get the most annihilation out of your nanites... you need me.
:'''Human EVO:''' You promised to cure!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' My technology not only amps up their abilities, but, for an extra charge, will modify their behavior to suit your needs. What am I bid for this army of one?
:'''Agent Six:''' ''[Bursting in]'' I'll open with extradition for crimes against humanity!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' ''[to his bidders]'' Wait! This is just a minor disturbance.
:''[Moses groans]''
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' ''[to Holiday]'' Do you know what you just cost me, all for one hopless wreck?!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Holiday hits Moses]'' Her name is Beverly.
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Then give sissy a hug.
:'''Dr Holiday:''' No! Don't hurt her, Rex!
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, sure. Handle with care. Whoa! Can you tell her that, too?
:'''Agent Six:''' Going nowhere?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Uh, let's not be ''[chuckling]'' rash.
:''[Holiday slaps Moses]''
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' I'm gonna have to get you a dictionary. Rash will not help anyone, especially not Beverly.
:''[Holiday grabs Moses]''
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Who can still be cured.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Holiday drops Moses]'' What?
:'''Agent Six:''' ''[Brandishing his swords]'' No games. Truth or dead.
:'''Rex:''' Fight still going! Need assistance! Big time! Whoa!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' I did invent a machine that de-powered nanites, almost. But the bonds and nanite particles were too strong to break. Instead, I discovered that I could reverse the polarity to its maximum, overpowering the nanites. It's easier and-- Profitable.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' But you did isolate the bonds? So, you can break them!
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa! Ugh! Unh! Okay, I called hero, but I need some extra kick for my sidekick! Unh! Seriously!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Time to earn a return on my investments! Kill them all!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa! Whoa! 
:'''White Knight:''' I won't even bother telling you the trouble you're in. Catch those other EVOs and report to my office the moment you're back.
:'''Rex:''' What other EVO-O-O-O-Os?
:''[Rex turns around and notices the EVOs behind him]''
:'''Rex:''' Ooos?
:'''Rex:''' Think they got it?
:'''Agent Six:''' They'd better. We're busy.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Unh! Okay. That's the flux transponder. That's the nanite energizer. Don't you explode on me-- Not now. Aah!
:'''Rex:''' I'll hand the one crazed sister. You take the other. It'll be like a double date. Don't bother... your sister... while she's working!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I can see what he did, but... uh... there's no time! I can't-- I can't help her! It's over.
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday-- Rebecca-- You are the strongest, smartest woman I have ever met, and the most stubborn.
:''[Six removes his glasses and looks her in the eyes]''
:'''Agent Six:''' You never give up. If there's a way to help your sister, find it-- now!
:''[Slight pause. Holiday smiles and puts Six's glasses back on his face then leaves]''
:'''Agent Six:''' That's my girl. New plan. Corral her to the machine.
:'''Rex:''' Plans are good! Yah! What you got, Doc?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Moses was right. The polarity of the nanite energizer is wrong! I have to amplify and reverse it. But I don't have-- Six... Your magna blades-- But it would be too dangerous. Six!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six!
:'''Agent Six:''' Is it working?
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's working.
:'''Rex:''' Six, get out of there!
:'''Agent Six:''' You called hero on this one, Rex! Finish it-- For her! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Unh! Get them out, Rex-- Both of them-- Now!
:''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
:'''Rex:''' Doc! You gotta see this!
:''[Dr. Holiday panting]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[as she's trying to revive Six]'' Don't you do this to me! I will hate you forever if you--
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:''[Six coughs]''
:'''Beverly:''' Rebecca?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Beverly!
:'''Rex:''' That was... I'm... Wow! Six, I've never said it before and I'll probably never say it again, but... I'm honored to be your partner.
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Mushy stuff? Oh! Glad I missed it.
:'''Rex:''' But don't ever do anything like that again.
:'''Agent Six:''' Agreed. But you have to admit though... It was worth it.
:''[Dr. Holiday and Beverly laughs]''
:'''White Knight:''' We're not running a boarding house here. No more relatives.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I just need her for a few more tests, sir. She was only 13 when she went Evo, and she's in a fragile state.
:'''Beverly:''' Woo Hoo!
:''[Beverly laughing]''
:'''Beverly:''' Rex just took me on a ride through the Zoo on his cycle.
:'''White Knight:''' &quot;Fragile.&quot; Right.
:'''Rex:''' We're going to the mall.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Are you asking permission?
:'''Rex:''' No. I'm asking if we can have some money. Providence pays me nada.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Can I have a word with you?
:'''Agent Six:''' Sure this is a good idea? Could ruin your hero status with Holiday.
:'''Rex:''' It's funny. After meeting Bev, out of nowhere, it hit me that Doc Holiday is just a little too old for me. So, since I'm out of the way, I guess there's nothing stopping you anymore, huh, &quot;hero&quot;?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Well... right. I guess... I'll set up those tests.
:''[Holiday starts to walk past Six. Six takes a hold of her hand]''
:'''Agent Six:''' Or... we could get some dinner.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Outside? In the real world? Like real people? Like a--
:'''Agent Six:''' Yes. Like a date.
:''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's about time.

===Hong Kong Nights===

===Whispers in the Dark===
===Cutting It Close===

===Exposed===
:'''White Knight''': All Providence personnel, this is a priority-one alert.
:'''Agent Six''': Do not panic. Remember your training.
:'''White Knight''': In all my years of working at Providence, never have I been put in such a situation. These interlopes could be anywhere at any given moment.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Hey, what's all the-- Whoa! Sorry. We're late.
:'''Bobo Haha''': You can't prove a thing!
:'''White Knight''': Watch what you say. Watch what you do. The very future of Providence may depend upon it.
:'''Rex Salazar''': So, what's going on? Van Kleiss attack in the HQ again?
:'''Agent Six''': Worse.
:'''Diane Farrah:''' I'm Diane Farrah, and for the first time ever, we've got an exclusive all-access pass inside the top-secret organization known as Providence. To uncover for our viewers, all the juiciest behind-the-scenes details of this most secret of institutions. And to find out the real story behind that man of mystery you've all wondered about for so long.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Aah.
:'''Diane Farrah''': All your questions are about to be answered. Welcome to Providence Exposed! ''[Camera closes-up on her face]'' On Ultimate Exposure! And cut. Great into, guys. Okay, moving on.
:'''Rex Salazar''': This is cool.
:'''Agent Six''': This is wrong.
:'''Rex Salazar''': How's my hair?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Delicious.
:'''White Knight''': Ladies and gentlemen, the delightful Miss Farrah and her crew have used the Freedom of Information Act to force.
:''[White Knight clears his throat]''
:'''White Knight''': To allow them access to a day in the life of Providence. And to ensure you are afforded the very best Providence has to offer, I'm assigning our top man as your personal guide.
:''[Rex moves towards the news team]''
:'''White Knight''': Six, please show Miss Farrah whatever she wants to see.
:'''Agent Six''': Agent Six is the name. On behalf of Providence, I'd like to welcome you to our facility.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Spare me the small talk. I'm here to ask the tough questions, and I expect truthful answers.
:'''Agent Six''': Shoot.
:'''Diane Farrah''': So.. is there a Mrs. Six?
:''[Combs her hair]''
:'''Bobo Haha''': Smooth.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Like you'd have done better.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Are you kidding? They want exposed. I'm going to give that reporter a piece of my mind and a few other pieces while I'm at it. I got stories that'll make them run screaming for the hills.
:''[Bobo Haha laughs]''
:'''Agent Six''': If you'll follow me, I'll be happy to show you one of our nanite research labs up close and personal. EVO control is our primary area of concentration, but Providence is focused on a great many studies. Each employing the best and the brightest our planet has to offer.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Thanks, Six. You know, this is my brother's lab. He's only like the smartest guy in the entire world. Yeah, being the best at what we do totally runs in our family.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Not a good time.
:'''Agent Six''': That experiment is highly sensitive.
:'''Diane Farrah''': So, Agent Six, how did you become a Providence agent?
:'''Agent Six''': That's also highly sensitive.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Amazing story though about how I became a Providence agent. See, there was this big accident.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Good morning. My name is Dr. Rebecca Holiday, And I'm the chief research officer for the Providence Laboratory Facilities - specializing in the study of evology. Providence's number one priority is the security of our planet. And through the studying and understanding the forces that threaten us--
:'''Diane Farrah''': Let's cut to the chase, shall we, doctor?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Oh, um, okay.
:'''Diane Farrah''': How do you balance the threat of EVOs, the constant danger... with being a woman?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Uh.
:''[Dr. Holiday laughs nervously]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Oh, excuse me.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Speaking of studying, check this out. You can edit that, right?
:'''Diane Farrah''': We're all about the editing.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, maybe you could show these journalists some of your other duties, like what you're supposed to be doing right now, for instance.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, man. That's right. Come on. You're going to love this.
:'''Diane Farrah''': EVOs come from far and wide for a chance to be cured by this young man. How often do you do this?
:'''Rex Salazar''': At least once a week here at HQ. When I'm in other parts of the county or the world, Providence sets up a mobile cure station. There are a lot of people out there who need my help. I only wish I could get to them all. Wait. Um, let my try again. ''[after Rex can't cure an EVO]'' Shut it off.
:'''Diane Farrah''': But this is really good drama, Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I asked to be on TV. They didn't. Please give these people their privacy.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Come on, buddy. Everybody has an off day.
:'''Rex Salazar''': In front of millions of viewers? So much for everyone's favorite Providence man of mystery.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Well, they're just lucky they haven't had the camera on me yet. Oh man, talk about Ultimate Exposure. When I get through with them--
:'''Rex Salazar''': I just wish I could look cool on camera somehow.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Phbt! Good luck. The only way that's going to happen now is if some experimental EVOs busted out of their cages and went on a rampage so you could round them up and look like a hero.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Providence isn't known for being forthcoming with information. I hope this interview will change that. The people want answers and I fully expect them from you.
:'''White Knight''': Very well. What do you want to know?
:'''Diane Farrah''': For starters, how do you get fresh milk without any nanites in it?
:'''White Knight''': If you must know, it's passed through a powerful magnet that removes and neutralizes any nanite activity.
:'''Agent Six''': Observe.
:''[White Knight smacks lips]''
:'''White Knight''': Anything else?
:'''Diane Farrah''': Not at the moment, but I'll be back.
:'''White Knight''': I look forward to it.
:''[White Knight sips]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': So, Agent Six, what do you think about White Knight's obsession with staying nanite-free at the expense of human contact?
:'''Agent Six''': He's a man of many mysteries.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Look out! Coming through! Dangerous escaped EVOs on the loose! Stand back! Let a professional handle this!
:'''Diane Farrah''': Follow him.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Yeah, I'm kind of awesome.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Did you get them all?
:'''Rex Salazar''': How many did you release?
:'''Bobo Haha''': I don't know, three or four.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, which was it? Three or four?
:''[Rex Salazar gasps]''
:'''Agent Six''': Well then. Now that Rex's little demonstration is over, how about a visit to the Providence gift shop? On me.
:'''Diane Farrah''': How long has Providence had a gift shop?
:'''Agent Six''': Since 8:00 A.M. You want to tell me how a class by EVO got out of its electromagnetically-sealed container and just happened to cross paths with our tour?
:'''Rex Salazar''': It's not like this kind of thing doesn't happen here all the time. I just wanted it to happen this time, in front of the camera, all right?
:'''Agent Six''': Not all right. That last EVO-- You just helped it molt so it could grow. Its body is still out there somewhere, getting bigger.
:'''White Knight''': Providence is run like a finely tuned machine. Until you decide to throw a monkey wrench into the works.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Hey, pal, let's leave the comedy to me.
:'''White Knight''': And how is it exactly that these EVOs got out?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Okay, Mea Culpa. I may have accidentally knocked open a cage or two-- Or four.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': That fourth cage was electromagnetically sealed.
:'''Bobo Haha''': I didn't say it was easy.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': The EVO we had contained in there feeds on electricity. It must be kept away from any electrical current.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Then it sure is a good thing this whole place isn't full of electricity. Oh, wait.
:'''White Knight''': Find it. Subdue it. And most importantly, don't let that camera crew see it.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Eh, were wastin' time hunting this thing down when I could be on camera right now, giving those people a piece of my mind.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Hey, I only saw the EVOs empty husk before. What's the real thing look like anyway? Huh?
:'''Bobo Haha''': That.
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:''[Rex Salazar grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Any suggestions?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Can you make a soccer net?
:''[Rex Salazar and Bobo Haha grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Aha! Got you cornered now. There's no way out. You're overpowered.
:'''Bobo Haha''': You were saying?
:'''Agent Six''': You wanted to interview me. Now's your chance. Go.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Um... okay. Tell me, Six-- May I call you Six?-- What is the real truth behind the nanite event that created the EVOs?
:'''Agent Six''': That's classified.
:'''Diane Farrah''': What is your role, if any, in that event?
:'''Agent Six''': That's classified, too.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Are you always this talkative?
:'''Agent Six''': No comment.
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Wait. Let me do that again. You didn't get my good side. Which is my good side?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Your backside.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Agent Six, you promised you were taking us to the heart of the operation.
:'''Agent Six''': Right. The heart of the operation. This way.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': [Watching from a monitor] It went right.
:''[Rex goes to his right. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Camera right!
:''[Rex goes to the camera's right]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': How can you miss it now? It's six feet in diameter and weighs five hundred pounds!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Less criticizing, more helping!
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Try to steer it in the direction of Hallway twelve. We can isolate it in the atrium.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, we've got it contained there now.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': No, sorry. I was reading that backwards. Hallway twenty one.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, Hallway twenty one leads to the central core!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, so, no big deal. That's a cold-fission reactor, not electric, right?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, all electricity is converted from something-- Wind, solar, hydro-- At the central core!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Ohh.
:''[Providence Agent screams]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Uh-hoh.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, listen carefully and do exactly as I say because we're only going to get one shot at this.
:'''Diane Farrah''': One shot at what, doctor?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': The... future. Providence is the future. The future used to be the space program. Now the future is Providence and the science of EVOs.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Doc? Are you still there? We have a situation.
:'''Agent Six''': Just a minor downgrade of power during a routine relay check. Nothing to worry about.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Guys, I could really use some advice right about now!
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''White Knight''': Attention all Providence Personnel, we have a Level-One Priority...
:''[Realizes the reporters are present]''
:'''White Knight''': Drill. Repeat-- This is our daily drill in the Central Core-- Now.
:'''Agent Six''': Lunch bell. It's taco day. Anyone hungry?
:'''Diane Farrah''': Agent Six, while we appreciate the commemorative spoons and the tacos, I can't help but think that you've been hiding something from our viewers.
:'''Agent Six''': Not at all, ma'am. Providence is an open book.
:''[Rex Salazar screams]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': Cut! You're ruining the shot, Rex. Just be patient. I will get to you-- I promise.
:''[Rex Salazar groans]''
:'''Agent Six''': Get down.
:''[Diane Farrah gasps]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': That was... what you did.
:'''Agent Six''': Just doing my job, ma'am.
:'''Rex Salazar''': And I'm just doing mine!
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': You're not going anywhere now, buddy, except back to your-- Cage?
:'''White Knight''': We hope that you and the Ultimate Exposure team are enjoying our EVO containment demonstration, Miss Farrah. All part of readiness training here at Providence.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Can I quote you on that?
:'''White Knight''': Miss Farah, I'm not gonna stop you from filming, but for your own safety and the safety of your crew, please step back and let my people do what they do best. Alpha Team, I need a containment of the cafeteria, cube formation. Fire! Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm on it.
:'''Agent Six''': Stay here. This is the real deal.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Not on your life. Find an elevator. We're missing it.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Still not a good ti-i-i-i-i-me!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, big boy. No more crawl spaces. No more Hallways. Just you and me in a big, old hangar bay mano y mano.
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Huh?
:'''Bobo Haha''': ''[after Rex has been repeatedly beaten back by the Evo]'' Looks like you showed him.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Are you going to talk, or are you going to help?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Talk. Kidding! I'm helping! I'm helping!
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:''[Rex Salazar groaning]''
:''[Rex Salazar groaning]''
:''[Rex Salazar sighs]''
:''[Rex Salazar groaning]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': Please tell me you're getting all of this.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Providence's man of mystery strikes again. Ow! It-- it bit me!
:'''Diane Farrah''': Quick, grab some B-roll footage before they get rid of all the evidence.
:'''Rex Salazar''': You did see that I did all the heavy lifting and Six just took out the trash, right?
:'''Diane Farah''': Don't worry. The camera never lies.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Yes!
:'''Bobo Haha''': Good! Then get a load of this!
:'''Diane Farah''': Do you have something to say?
:''[Camera zooms in on Bobo]''
:'''Bobo Haha''': Oh... oh.
:''[Bobo mutters then passes out]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': I think we have everything we need.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I don't know how you guys came off looking, but yours truly rocked hard. Just call me Providence's Man of Mystery from now on. Oh, yeah! Stardom starts in five, four, three, two--
:'''Diane Farrah''': I'm Diane Farrah, and for the first time ever, we've got an exclusive all-access pass inside the top-secret organization known as Providence. To uncover for our viewers, all the juiciest behind-the-scenes details of this most secret of institutions.
:'''Rex Salazar''': We are so dead.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Nice knowing you, kid.
:'''Diane Farrah''': To find out the real story behind that man of mystery you've all wondered about for so long.
:'''Agent Six''': Agent Six is the name.
:'''Rex Salazar''': They did it.
:'''Bobo Haha''': They did.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': This is a news show? What is the world coming to?
:'''Diane Farrah''': Look out, ladies. Agent Six is the full package -- brains, brawn, and--
:'''Agent Six''': Highly sensitive.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Just what is he hiding behind those alluring, dark glasses of his?
:'''Agent Six''': That's classified.
:'''Diane Farrah''': He's the Providence agent you women wanted to get to know.
:'''Agent Six''': Up close and personal.
:'''Diane Farrah''': That's right, girls.
:'''Agent Six''': He's The real deal.
:'''Diane Farrah''': And he's known throughout Providence as--
:'''Agent Six''': The heart of the operation.
:'''Diane Farrah''': He's the organization's best-kept secret, the ultimate agent, and--
:'''Agent Six''': The man of many mysteries.
:'''Diane Farrah''': And, yes, ladies, he is single -- or is he?
:''[Dr. Holiday laughs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Excuse me.
:'''Agent Six''': No comment.
:''[Rex and Bobo Haha laughs]''
:'''White Knight''': Well, that's a relief.
:'''Rex Salazar''': ''[after the story airs]'' So, man of mystery, what's it like being a big star adored by women everywhere?
:'''Agent Six''': No comment.

===Touch and Go===
===The Siren's Lament===
* Flashbacks as to how Circe came to work for Van Kleiss.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Grounded===
===Six Minus Six===
===In Dreams===

===Lions and Lambs===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:''[Providence agents are standing in an industrial area, fingers on triggers. Rex flies in on jet pack and lands beside all the agents.]''
:'''Rex:''' Any sign? ''[Rex notices agents shaking in fear.]'' Alright then, who’s up for a burger, anyone? Tough crowd.
:''[Six walks up.]''
:'''Six:'''	These agents seem nervous. Haven’t they dealt with this situation before?
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, that's kind of the problem.
:''[Rex twitches, as if he is feeling Breach's presence.]''
:'''Providence Agent:''' Here she comes.
:''[Breach appears in front of them. They fire at her. She sends their missiles and agents away with red portals.]''
:'''Six:'''	How do we stop her?
:'''Rex:'''	''[Smack Hands.]'' Hit hard and keep clear of anything that glows.
:''[Breach has a collar around her neck like the one Van Kleiss wears, and a device on her chest like his only much larger and shackles are around her giant hands which look like Van Kleiss's bio-mechanical wrist. She opens a red portal. A giant jellyfish-like thing flies out at Six, then a large creature with a horn on its nose runs out. Rex jumps at Breach, she portals out, returns and the device on her chest starts sparking.]''
:'''Rex:'''	What's with the new toy, Breach?
:'''Breach:'''	''[Glares]'' Wouldn’t you like to know?
:''[T-Rex appears through a gold colored portal, sniffs Rex.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Seriously, where do you find these things? Let's see what you started out as, big guy. ''[Tries to cure.] Six? This... this isn't an EVO!'' It's an actual T-Rex! ...Six?
:''[Rex runs from T-Rex.]''
:'''Breach:'''	Have fun. ''[Leaves through red portal.]''
:''[Rex hides behind light pole, T-Rex pulls pole from ground, Rex falls to the ground.]''
:'''Six:'''	I take it this sort of thing doesn't happen all the time?
:'''Rex:''' Try never? This is all kinds of wrong.
:''[Rex makes BFS, runs at T-Rex; Six runs at T-Rex, jumps on and stabs it in back.]''
:'''Holiday:'''	Is that what I think it is?
:'''Six:''' You mean about to be extinct?
:'''Holiday:''' If you destroy the scientific find of a lifetime, it won’t be the only thing.
:'''Rex:'''	It's trying to eat us.
:'''Six:'''	You heard the lady. Take it down soft.
:'''Rex:'''	Easy for you to say.
:''[Rex lies on the ground holding the jaws open with Smack Hands and it slobbers on him.]''
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Video of T-Rex in confinement field. The T-Rex turns to dust.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Breach is powerful enough as it is, and now you're telling me she can travel through time?
:'''Holiday:'''	However she's doing it, I haven't worked out all the kinks yet. That dinosaur reverted to its actual age about less than two hours after arrival.
:'''Caesar:'''	Photo and deep scan analysis reveals some very interesting technology at work here. Van Kleiss has really stepped up his game.
:'''White Knight:''' Skip the fan talk. How do we stop it?
:'''Caesar:'''	Until I get my hands on the device, I'm not certain we can.
:'''White Knight:''' We have to bring her to our side.
:'''Rex:'''	The only way she's coming here is if she does it willingly.
:'''White Knight:''' How do you propose we persuade her?
:'''Rex:'''	With me. ''[Six and Holiday stare at him skeptically.]'' I can be very convincing. Okay, okay. I think she might still have a thing for me.
:'''Bobo:''' Atta boy, work it on the crazy chick.
:'''White Knight:''' I don't care how we do it as long as we get results. Providence is under the microscope. It is the worst time for Van Kleiss to gain the upper hand. Get to it. Bring her in.
:''[Six and Holiday walking out of the room together down the hall.]''
:'''Six:''' ''[To Holiday.]'' I need a word. Something's wrong with White.
:'''Holiday:'''	Oh. That. He’s always like this, Six.
:'''Six:'''	No. This is different. I know when something is bothering him. The secret meetings, the anxiety. He’s up to something.
:'''Holiday:'''	I'll see what I can find out.
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Rex on hoverboard, in Providence stealth suit.]''
:'''Rex:'''	WHOO-HOO! Works pretty good. After all, I built it. ''[Loses control of board for a moment.]''
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Van Kleiss's castle, Rex hiding by entrance.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Going in. ''[Pulls up stealth mask, disappears partly, runs past guard.]''
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Breach is hooked up to a large machine. Van Kleiss stands before her with a huge bank of controls and displays, spooky dark lighting. She screams.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' This is unacceptable, Breach. I need you to concentrate.
:'''Breach:''' It hurts.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Think of what I'm trying to achieve here. I cannot fail.
:''[Breach screams in agony and collapses.]''
:''[Rex looks down horrified, Van Kleiss grins, Breach screams and falls down.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I'll return when it recharges and we'll start again.
:''[Rex holds his hand out to her.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Why do you let him do this to you?
:'''Breach:''' Glory.
:'''Rex:'''	Van Kleiss's glory. Is he even noticing how you're tearing yourself apart for him? Have you ever heard him say thank you? What do you say we blow this joint, you and me? He's hurting you.
:'''Breach:'''	It's not real. It can't hurt you if it isn't real.
:'''Rex:'''	Breach, look at me. It is. I'm real, all of this is real. You don't have to live this way.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Why am I not surprised. Rex has come to rescue another of my lost sheep. Perhaps he'll try to save you next, Biowulf.
:'''Rex:'''	That depends. Is he housebroken yet?
:'''Biowulf:'''	I am no traitor.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	You’ve no doubt seen our little experiment. Breach shows great promise. She just needs a little fine tuning.
:'''Rex:'''	Then what? Go back in time and be king of the cavemen?
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Why not? It wouldn’t be much of a step down, now would it? Breach, if you would, remove our guest so we can continue. Practice makes perfect, or in your case, acceptable.
:''[Breach makes a red portal.]''
:'''Rex:''' Breach! Think about what you're doing.
:''[Van Kleiss grins, she runs and puts her arms around Rex, portals out with Rex.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Find her. Now.
:''[Mountains, snow, Rex shivering.]''
:'''Rex:'''	I'm glad you got us out of there, but where... are we?
:'''Breach:'''	When the snow is gone you can see forever.
:'''Rex:''' That's nice. Can we go now?
:'''Breach:''' I need to know if I can trust you.
:'''Rex:'''	You can trust me. I swear.
:''[Breach grabs his hand and hugs him. He opens his eyes. They are standing on a shiny endless reflective surface, reflecting stars.]''
:'''Rex:'''	This is different.
:'''Breach:'''	Do you see it?
:'''Rex:'''	Um--
:'''Breach:'''	This is where the stillness comes from.
:'''Rex:'''	You. Are weird. So what exactly does this mean? Are you coming with me or is this some kind of test?
:'''Breach:'''	I need you to see it.
:'''Rex:'''	Ah... A test.
:'''Breach:'''	Do you wanna understand?
:'''Rex:'''	Not exactly sure. ''[She glares, he waves his hands in front of him.]'' Yes, I mean yes. I mean--
:'''Breach:''' Follow me. ''[Walks through red portal.]''
:''[Another place. A door, a doll, a bear and a fire hydrant float in space.]''
:''[Rex hanging upside down, she is holding him by his ankle above a swirling pink vortex.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Ahh! What happened? I thought we were getting along fine!
:'''Breach:'''	Why are you here?
:'''Rex:''' Good question. Where exactly is here? Can we go somewhere else now, somewhere like, on Earth?
:''[She drops him. He screams and lands on the floor between some stacks of books.]''
:'''Rex:''' You sure know how to pick'em. What kind of tripped out dimension is this? ''[Librarian walks by and shushes him.]'' Oh. College.
:'''White Knight:''' ''[On communicator in Rex's right ear.]'' Rex, report. Where on earth have you been?
:'''Rex:'''	Apparently every place but.
:'''White Knight:''' I need to know you can handle this otherwise we're going to try a different approach.
:'''Rex:'''	You need to chill out, White. I’m making progress. ''[Rex puts his hand to his left ear.]'' Dr. Holiday, are you there?
:'''Holiday:'''	Tracking shows you’re with Breach. Are you okay?
:'''Rex:'''	Fine? Creeped out but fine. I can't bring Breach back to Providence, White would just lock her up and that won't help.
:'''Holiday:'''	Where will you take her?
:'''Rex:'''	I'll think of something. Just keep White Knight off my case.
:''[Breach appears behind him.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Why don't you let me pick out where we go next?
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[White Knight hands folded moving nervously.]''
:'''White Knight:''' He says he's making progress.
:'''Black Knight:''' The committee is losing confidence. They want results, not excuses.
:'''White Knight:''' Then that's exactly what they’ll get.
:''[Scene change. Rex sits across from Breach in a booth at a bowling alley.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Soooo, don't like bowling, huh? I figured with the extra arms you'd be a natural.
:'''Breach:'''	I'm not supposed to like you, but I do.
:'''Rex:''' ''[smiles]'' We're teenagers. At least assuming you are. Doing what we are not supposed to is part of the job. French fry?
:''[She takes it and then drops it.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Do you remember anything? From before you... changed?
:'''Breach:'''	I remember everything. And nothing.
:'''Rex:''' Naturally. Why did I even bother to ask. Listen, Breach. I'm not going to pretend I understand you, ''[Puts his hand on her giant hand]'' but I can help. If you let me.
:''[The machine starts to glow, they jump to their feet, other people look startled.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Nothing to worry about. Everything's fine.
:'''Breach:'''	I can't, I can't stop it.
:'''Rex:'''	Let me try. ''[He tries and it knocks him onto the floor sparking.]''
:'''Breach:'''	Van Kleiss has control. They're coming.
:''[Van Kleiss busts through the door with The Pack following. Raises bio-mechanical hand, palm of it glows, device on Breach's chest turns off.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Okay, do your thing. Get us out of here. Anywhere.
:''[she tries]''
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	You can't take what doesn't belong to you.
:'''Rex:'''	I didn't take you for the jealous type. ''[Rex shoots bowling balls at Van Kleiss with his cannon, hits Biowulf and Skalamander in the face and Van Kleiss punches the balls aside with his bio-mechanical hand.]''
:'''Rex:''' Breach, let's go!
:''[Breach rides off with Rex on hoverboard, Van Kleiss and Pack follow on three flying fish EVO's with harnesses and big teeth. They dodge and crash Van Kleiss into a window, and land in a park.]''
:''[Breach and Rex stand together on a footbridge looking down into the water.]''
:'''Breach:''' ''[Walks to bridge and looks at her reflection, Rex follows.]'' Will they hurt me?
:'''Rex:'''	Providence? Not if I can help it.
:'''Breach:'''	They did before. Ms. Smarty Pants—she likes to hurt me.
:'''Rex:''' I'll give you my word, if you come back to Providence, I promise no one will hurt you.
:'''Breach:'''	We can be together forever and ever. ''[She walks off bridge, ducks swimming in water.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Uh... something like that. What am I getting myself into? We gotta move. I bet my brother has already figured out how to turn that thing of yours off.
:''[The ducks fly off, they look and see a reflection in the pond of White Knight's ship.]''
:''[White Knight walks up followed by Providence fighter planes.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Uh guys, what are you doing?!
:'''White Knight:''' If you can't have something done right, do it yourself.
:''[They shoot at Breach, she screams, Rex is horrified.]''
:'''Rex:''' No! No! No! ''[walks up bridge to White Knight]'' Do have any idea what you just did?
:''[Breach's chest device turns on, she screams, Providence shoots at her.]''
:'''Rex:''' Is this what you wanted? Congratulations! ''[runs to Breach]'' Breach! Wait!
:'''Breach:''' Liar! ''[Throws red portal at Rex, he dodges, second one hits him, he disappears. Providence keeps shooting, she throw portals, drops three soldiers in water.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Agent Six!
:''[He jumps at her, she portals him away to behind Knight. Rex jumps from the water onto the bridge by Knight.]''
:'''Rex:'''	You had no intention to bring her in, did you?
:'''White Knight:''' I wanted to believe you, Rex, but this is too important. She can't be controlled.
:'''Rex:''' Control... Her powers are back on. Van Kleiss.
:''[Van Kleiss arrives on flying fish EVO.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Settle down, Breach.
:''[Chest device turns off.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Let me do this. I can get through to her. Come on. It couldn't get any worse than you've already made it
:''[Knight and Six look at each other.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Form a perimeter around Breach. Van Kleiss isn't to touch her.
:''[A rock wall rises from the ground blocking Rex as he runs towards Breach. The Pack jumps down from wall to attack Rex, Six intervenes. Agents surround Breach, she tries and fails to make red portal. Screams. Van Kleiss flies in on fish, knocks down agents with bio-mechanical whip arm, shoots needles from fingers and knocks more down, fish knocks the rest down. White Knight shoots at Van Kleiss.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' If you had any idea what I was trying to do you might even welcome it.
:'''White Knight:''' Enlighten me.
:''[Van Kleiss touches a tree and it turns into an EVO. EVO tree catches and holds White. Six and Biowulf fight, Rex and Skalamander fight.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Enlighten you?
:''[Sticks his claws in White Knight, glowing White Knight screams.]'' All in good time, White Knight, assuming you have some left.
:''[Six throws a magnablade through Van Kleiss's bio-mechanical arm and he lets go of White.]''
:'''Six:'''	''[to White Knight]'' Go. I mean it. ''[White Knight flies off.]''
:'''Six:''' The name's Six.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	We've met.
:'''Six:'''	Don't remember. ''[They fight.]''
:''[Breach on merry-go-round, turning slowly looking at the sky.
:'''Rex:'''	You're just using her.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Of course I am. She knows it. Spare me the chivalry, Rex. Providence would do the same.
:'''Rex:'''	Either way you slice it, she loses!
:'''Breach:''' ''[to herself]'' My two favorites. You both lie. Neither is real.
:'''Rex:''' ''[goes to her]'' Breach, I'm sorry. I meant what I said.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Words mean nothing.
:'''Rex:''' Then let this do the talking. ''[Turns on her machine, puts it into her power.]''
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' You just handed her a loaded gun.
:'''Rex:'''	And now it's her choice how to use it.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Oh if only I had the chance to get through to you, Rex, to teach you how the world really works.
:''[Breach steps in front of Van Kleiss, raises her arms as if to send Rex away. Makes huge yellow portal above them.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Our very first time traveler. You should be honored. Now Breach, if you wouldn't mind.
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:''[Rex closes his eyes. Breach sends Van Kleiss away with yellow portal.]''
:'''Rex:''' That was... unexpected.
:''[Rex tries to turn machine off but fails.]''
:'''Rex:'''	It won't turn off. I'm sorry. I, I didn't know.
:'''Breach:'''	Van Kleiss made it like this so I wouldn't send him away.
:'''Rex:'''	That didn't work out so well did it? Six, get everyone out of here now! ''[A big yellow dome forms around the playground where Rex and Breach stand.]''
:'''Rex:'''	So, what's going to happen?
:''[Rex and Breach are about to be engulfed by Breach's out of control time portal]''
:'''Breach''': ''[she looks up]'' I don't know if any of this was real. But it was nice having a friend for a while. ''[Rex smiles, Breach hugs him as they dispensary in the golden time portal]''
:'''Rex:''' I didn't get blown up. ''[Sees a lizard.]'' Whoa! ''[Jumps away, startled.]'' Oh no, please don't let this be dino time. ''[Touches earpiece in left ear.]'' Rex to Providence, do you copy? :''[Takes earpiece out and looks at it.]'' Oh... Rex to Providence, you better be there.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Uh... we copy, Rex. We have a lock on your coordinates and are sending a jump jet.
:'''Rex:'''	Is Six okay? Breach went supernova.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Someone's on the way, just hold tight. Providence out.
:''[Scene change, Rex lying on the ground.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Took you long enough.
:''[Turns over and sees Providence agents, pointing guns at him.]''
:'''Providence Agent:''' Rex is onboard. Heading back to HQ.
:'''Rex:'''	HQ? Ten minutes ago I was in the middle of an epic battle. You need to take me back!
:'''Providence Agent:''' Um, that battle is over.
:'''Rex:''' What happened? Is Six okay? Guys...what's going on?
:''[They arrive at HQ.]''
:'''Caesar:'''	Baby brother, you're okay! ''[Runs and hugs him.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Breach just sent me to nowheresville. Nothing to freak out over.
:'''Caesar:'''	''[To Providence agent.]'' You didn't tell him?
:'''Providence Agent:''' Our orders were just to bring him back.
:'''Rex:'''	Tell me what? Hey, when did you... have a beard?
:'''Caesar:''' There's no easy way to tell you this, hermano. Breach didn't just send you to the middle of nowhere. You've been gone for six months.
:'''Rex:'''	Six months?! So this is--
:'''Caesar:''' Technically, the future. I should warn you, there've been a few changes.
:'''Rex:'''	You didn't give away my room, did you?
:'''Caesar:''' As a matter of fact, they did.
:'''Rex:''' What?! Caesar, tell me what's going on here.
:'''Caesar:'''	It would be better if I showed you.
:'''Rex:'''	White Knight taking visitors now?
:'''Caesar:'''	I'll wait out here.
:''[Rex sees Providence agents dressed in black.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Nice suits.
:''[Goes into the office.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Ah... Love what you've done with the place. White?
:''[Person in chair turns around, it's a woman, not White Knight.]''
:'''Black Knight:''' Thank you, Rex. ''[She gets up and walks towards him.]'' It was a little bright for my taste. White Knight is no longer associated with this organization.
:'''Rex:''' He quit?
:'''Black Knight:''' He...attempted a hostile takeover and failed. Can I get you anything? Water? A snack?
:'''Rex:''' I don't want a snack! Where's Six? Where's Holiday!?
:'''Black Knight:''' This must upsetting to you. Change is never easy but from I understand, you've been in situations like this before. Everything's going to be fine.
:'''Rex:''' Who are you?!
:'''Black Knight:''' Someone very happy to have you back. Call me Black Knight.

==Season Three (2011-2013)==
===Back in Black===
: '''Rex''': Okay, I get what's going on here.
: '''Black Knight''': I'm relieved to hear that, Rex.
: '''Rex''': You can come out! I know you're there!
: '''Black Knight''': Rex?
: '''Rex''': We're friends, now, remember? Breach?
: '''Black Knight''': Breach isn't here, Rex. The world's changed. As soon you accept th--
: '''Rex''': No, I'm not ignoring you. It's just that you're not real.
: '''Black Knight''': I assure you I'm very real-- as is all of this.
: '''Rex''': ''[chuckling]'' Oh, come on. It's been a fun time in the ol' Breachscape, but, you know, time to go home now.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex''': Seen this before. Usually ends with a black hole.
: '''Black Knight''': Rex, you're disoriented. Let me--
: '''Rex''': Sorry, non-lady. No time. Got an exit to find! Shall we aprehend?
: '''Black Knight''': It won't be necessary.
: '''Caesar''': Rex! Have you lost it?
: '''Rex''': Caesar! We're in a pocket dimension! It could collapse at any second!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Caesar''': That's crazy, Rex. This is not a pocket dimension.
: '''Rex''': You're right! It's a whole alternate universe! And-- and-- and you're my Brother's evil twin! Out of the way! Six! Six! Doc!
: ''[Rex panting]''
: '''Rex''': Dr. Holiday! Doc!
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex''': Wha-- Well, at least some things haven't changed. Whoa! Whoa! Okay, now I-- Bleh-- know I'm in an-- Aah!-- alternate universe. Unh! You can go ahead and -- Blech!-- Eat me now, please.
: '''Black Knight''': Release.
: '''Rex''': You were... saying something about changes?
: '''Black Knight''': There have been a few.
: '''Caesar''': You've got temporal lag, Rex. It's kind of like altitude sickness, only in time. Here-- This will balance your electrolytes.
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex''': So this is really-- 
: '''Black Knight''': Really. Welcome to the future, Rex-- Or, rather, to the present. Without your healing abilities, Providence has embraced a new paradigm. We've moved beyond the outmoded era of &quot;cure, contain, or kill.&quot;
: '''Rex''': And into the era of &quot;serious leash laws&quot;.
: '''Caesar''': We used the petting zoo as our test bed. What do you think?
: '''Rex''': I think it needs a new name, 'cause, you know, now it really is one.
: '''Caesar''': We've developed new techniques for working with EVOs. It's all about understanding them better.
: '''Rex''': So, you're some sort of &quot;EVO whisperer&quot;?
: '''Caesar''': ''[laughs]'' It's a bit more complicated than that. You sure you're okay? ''[sighs]'' It's good to have you back, brother.
: '''Black Knight''': Family ties. They transcend even time itself.
: '''Rex''': Caesar's not my only family.
: '''Black Knight''': I'll bring you up to speed on the others. When you went M.I.A., White Knight lost his biggest weapon in the war for EVO containment.
: '''Rex''': Figures that I have to vanish for him to appreciate me.
: '''Black Knight''': White became erratic-- some might say paranoid. Directorate lost faith in his ability to lead.
: '''Rex''': Directorate? I never knew white even had a boss.
: '''Black Knight''': There are, shall we say, layers. I was named as his replacement.
: '''Rex''': Let me guess-- he didn't take it well.
: '''Black Knight''': You could say that.
: '''Providence Agent''': White Knight! Sir! Stand down!
: '''White Knight''': I'd rather go down in flames than see Providence in the hands of the enemy.
: '''Providence Agent''': He's got a bomb! Fall back! All units fall ba--
: '''Rex''': Whoa! That was--
: '''Black Knight''': Your room.
: '''Rex''': Huh? Aww, man! But... Six... Holiday... where--
: '''Black Knight''': Where do you think? They're out looking for you. Agent Six and Holiday took indefinite leave. They've been off the grid ever since. I've attempted to contact them, but no response.
: '''Rex''': Mind if... I give them a ring? Not that I don't trust you.
: '''Black Knight''': But you don't trust me. Natural, given the circumstances. Be my guest. It won't take long, to locate them. Meanwhile, there are many familiar faces who will be glad to hear you're back. Which reminds me... This is everything we salvaged from your room.
: '''Rex''': Huh. Talk about starting over.
: '''Black Knight''': You could you know. There's still a place for you in the--
: '''Rex''': My room. I thought you said it was trashed.
: '''Black Knight''': Rex, wait.
: '''Rex''': What's the matter, Black? This where you're hiding all your evil secrets?
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex''': Um... Wow!
: '''Black Knight''': This entire wing was destroyed in the blast. I had the space... repurposed.
: '''Rex''': White wouldn't even splurge for private stalls.
: '''Black Knight''': As you see, I treat my finest people to the very finest things.
: '''Rex''': Sure. I'll take one of those, please.
: '''Black Knight''': It's yours-- and anything else you'd like.
: '''Rex''': As long as I do whatever you want-- That it?
: '''Black Knight''': On the contrary-- you're a seasoned agent. I have a few boundaries, but otherwise, handle matters as you see fit.
: '''Rex''': Say I refuse.
: '''Black Knight''': Then I turn you over to mel. ''[chuckling]'' I'm kidding. You're free to leave whenever you like. But I hope you'll stay. Now, more than ever, Providence needs a Rex. So, how do you feel? Like I haven't used one of those in Six months-- Which I haven't. You mind? Bobo?
: '''Bobo''': Rex! Heard you were back. So great to see you, buddy. Whoa. Just a sec, there, pal. Gotta love those certain towelettes.
: ''[Bobo whistling]''
: '''Bobo''': What? Never seen a monkey wash his hands before?
: '''Rex''': Not this one.
: ''[Bobo munching]''
: '''Rex''': You wanna tell me what's gotten into you or what?
: '''Bobo''': What are you talking abou-- Unh! Hey!
: '''Rex''': Sorry. For a minute, I thought you were...
: '''Bobo''': Robo Bobo? Wanna check for a tv in my butt?
: '''Rex''': Pass. But come on. You've, I don't know, mellowed or something.
: '''Bobo''': Guess I just don't have a big need to act out these days, what with you and everyone gone. Plus, the employee benefits are pretty sweet.
: '''Black Knight''': Rex, we've got a little EVO problem. Providence could use your help. Ready to get back in the game?
: '''Rex''': If it involves getting out of here, that would be a &quot;yes.&quot; You coming?
: '''Bobo''': I'll join ya on the next one. I got Tai Chi at 2:00.
: '''Rex''': Missing an EVO smackdown? That doesn't sound like you.
: '''Bobo''': Did I mention the instructor has a thing for back hair?
: '''Rex:''' Ew. Okay. That sounds like you. What is it and where do I find it?
: '''Providence Agent''': We've got an EVO in the subway tunnels, people trapped in one of the trains. The power's out down there, too.
: '''Rex:''' Sounds like a street worm. Sure it's just one? Rex to H.Q. Okay, new chief, how do you want to do this?
: '''Black Knight:''' You're the expert.
: '''Rex:''' I am? Uh, I mean, of course I am. It's just that Six usually--
: '''Black Knight:''' You don't need help, Rex. Handle it as you see fit. Black, out.
: '''Rex:''' What's this strange feeling that's come upon me? Could it be...
: ''[Rex shudders]''
: '''Rex''': Responsibility?! Okay. Assemble your guys over there. Be ready for me. Should the guys grab flashlight. Or... better. Not a bad pre-show. Now for the main event.
: '''Providence Agent:''' How did you know?
: '''Rex:''' These things usually travel in pairs. I used lights from my builds to make it think I was another worm. Have your bug net handy. They're so cute after I shut them down.
: '''Rex:''' Sorry B.K. No can cure.
: '''Black Knight:''' Understood. Our team will take it from here.
: '''Rex:''' Um, take what where?
: '''Providence Agent:''' Move into the vehicle! Move... into... the vehicle! Hit her again!
: '''Rex:''' Um, what just happend?
: '''Black Knight:''' That's all for now, Rex. Nicely done.
: '''Rex:''' Hm. Wait. What are you gonna do with it?
: '''Providence Agent:''' Standard rehab and re-lo. It's all very humane.
: '''Rex:''' I'd love to see that. Mind if I tag along?
: '''Black Knight:''' Sorry, Rex. Authorized personnel only. You've done your job. Now let the team theirs.
: '''Rex:''' But--
: '''Black Knight:''' Boundaries, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' Boundaries. Got it. Rex, out.
: '''Caesar:''' Main container reached. Attach stabilizer ring.
: '''Rex:''' Humane? Yeah, right.
: ''[Bobo yawns]''
: '''Bobo:''' See? Great employee benefits.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. Right. Hey, you got a tag sticking out in the back. Mind if I--
: '''Bobo:''' Thanks, pal. Well, off to yoga.
: '''Caesar:''' You really shouldn't be here, hermano.
: '''Rex:''' The petting zoo? The worm? My monkey practicing good hygiene? You're using that thing to control my friend!
: '''Caesar:''' He's still the same Bobo you know and love. He just need a few boundaries.
: '''Rex:''' He's not the same, and neither are you! You should hear yourself!
: '''Caesar:''' Making the world safer isn't possible without some form of control. And you'd better get some control of yourself, mijo.
: '''Rex:''' Or what? You'll use that thing on me?
: '''Caesar:''' Open your eyes to all the good we're accomplishing. Isn't this better than smacking them with your giant fists?
: '''Rex:''' That's combat! I protect people and property! Okay, property, not so much, but this? If you can't see the difference, then maybe I never knew you at all!
: '''Caesar:''' It doesn't matter. I have work to do.
: '''Rex:''' So do I!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Uses his Smack Hands to smash everything around him]''
: '''Caesar:''' Rex! Stop!
: '''Black Knight:''' Snooping around, Rex? See, that's another one of my boundaries.
: '''Rex:''' White Knight may have had his issues, but he never resorted to anything like this!
: '''Black Knight:''' I never planned to do this, Rex, but you've become a danger.
: '''Rex''' ''[shocked]'': Caesar! Think! You can't do this!
: '''Caesar:''' Of course I'm thinking. This is the logical conclusion to what we started. 
: '''Rex:''' The logical-- Aaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Raaah! Aah!
: ''[Caesar blasts the mind-control laser, causing Rex to scream and groan in pain]''
: '''Caesar:''' Sorry, Rex. You'll thank me later.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' You... better... believe I will!
: '''Caesar:''' Please don't resist! It's only painful if you struggle!
: '''Black Knight:''' What's taking so long?
: '''Caesar:''' He's fighting it! His nantic energy is spiking off the scale!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Boost power.
: '''Caesar:''' It's not safe to--
: '''Black Knight:''' It's for the best. 
: ''[Caesar increases power, causing Rex's nanites to go haywire as a tear fall down his cheek, heartbroken about his own brother betraying him]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Manages to overpower the mind-control machine, much to the surprise and wonder of Caesar and Black Knight]''
: '''Rex:''' You just drew a line in the sand, bro! ''[runs off]''
: '''Black Knight:''' You'd better have a backup.
: '''Caesar:''' The prototype. Not portable, but more than enough power, even for him.
: '''Black Knight:''' Get it ready.
: '''Rex:''' Unh!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Rex:''' No mood to get slimed right now, mel!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Rex:''' What happened to your EVO control?
: '''Black Knight:''' A demonstration. You know what would happen without our influence.
: '''Rex:''' So, you're hijacking its brain, like you tried to do with mine.
: '''Black Knight:''' That won't be necessary if you'll willingly cooperate.
: '''Rex:''' Translation-- if I do everything you say.
: '''Black Knight:''' You've seen how we can work together. Providence still needs you. There will always be a few EVOs we can't control.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. I'm one of them.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Shall we pursue?
: '''Black Knight:''' Most definitely.
: '''Rex:''' Gangway! Coming through! Huh? No! Huh. Black Pawns. Overdoing the whole theme, don't you think?
: ''[Rex groaning]''
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Yah! I'm getting beat up by the chess club!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Black Knight:''' We... got off on the wrong foot. Stow the hardware and come with us. You have my word you won't be harmed. We can start over-- the right way.
: '''Bobo:''' You mind? You're interrupting the enjoyment of my employee benefits.
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: ''[Rex panting]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Black Knight:''' ''[after Rex was tranquilized]'' Excellent work. Take him to the lab.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex:''' What? No way! You're not turning my brain to mashed potatoes! Doc?!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Welcome back, Rex.
: '''Six:''' Good to see you, kid.
: '''Rex:''' Before I blame this on a Burrito-induced nightmare, will someone please tell me-- What... Is... Going... On?!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' What do you think? We've been looking for you.
: '''Six:''' We knew Providence might find you first. Fortunately, we planted a mole.
: '''Bobo:''' Ehh. Rex! Put 'er there!
: '''Rex:''' Uhh! You didn't wash! Oh! You didn't wash! But that means... that he really was... Robo Bobo?
: '''Bobo:''' In the flesh.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Literally. I gave it a biological upgrade, complete with his own nanites and... fleas, ticks, lice, chigger mites.
: '''Bobo:''' What can I say? I'm an ecosystem.
: '''Six:''' It's enough to fool your brother's equipment. The robot is only providing limited intel. But one thing is sure-- new Providence is about more than just getting Evos off the streets.
: '''Rex:''' I saw it. Whatever they're doing over there is seriously messed up.
: '''Six:''' That's why we've set up our own operation.
: '''Rex:''' Whoa! Where did you get all of this?
: '''Six:''' We have our sources.
: '''Rex:''' So, we're like super secret spies now? Cool!
:''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex:''' It's too bad about White, though. I never thought I'd say it, but I'm gonna miss that pasty guy.
: '''White Knight:''' How touching, Rex. I, on the other hand, would rather enjoyed the last six Rex-free months. Now... if we're done with the love-in, we have work to do.
: '''Rex:''' It really can't get any better than this. Oh, except one thing-- can I get a TV?

===Crash and Burn===
*From this episode, Rex can create two builds at once
:''[Bobo yawns]''
:'''Bobo:''' They say nothin' good happens after midnight. And, you know, they're right.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I'm worried about you, Bobo. Since we left Providence, you've been staying out every night.
:''[Bobo grunts]''
:''[Bobo munching]''
:''[Bobo gulps]''
:'''Bobo:''' That's not the least of your worries. Seen our boy lately?
:''[Dr. Holiday scoffs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex is fine. He just needs time to adjust to our new setting. Rex? It's Holiday. Are you there?
:'''Rex:''' Hey, doc. What up?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Just checking in. Everything okay?
:'''Rex:''' Better than okay. I'm about to set a new land-speed record'
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That wasn't what I meant. How are you feeling?
:'''Rex:''' Appreciate the concern, but the only thing on my mind right now is the need for speed. Apparently, I'm not alone. I'll call you back. Hey! Slow down! I want to talk to you! Ah. You want to play chicken. Doc? Bobo? I'm getting blitzed by some bikers. Aah!
:'''Rand:''' Might as well give up! I won't quit! I'm a relentless, never-say-die, nonstop-- Uh, hey, wait a minute. Who are you?
:'''Rex:''' Think you could have asked me that before trying to run me down?
:'''Rand:''' Ooh! My fault. I thought you were one of us.
:'''Rex:''' &quot;One of us&quot;? What is this?
:'''Rand:''' Sorry, dude. No time to chat. Peace.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, like I'm gonna take that for an answer. A street race? Or a demolition derby?
:''[Lance grunts]''
:''[Lance groans]''
:'''Lance:''' Gonna need a bike.
:'''Rex:''' Can't believe you survive that! You must be the luckiest guy on the-- These are nanites.
:''[Lance groans]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Oh, come on!
:'''Six:''' Something wrong?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Prototypes. I prefer tried-and-tested. And I don't even know what we're going to do with half of this stuff.
:'''Bobo:''' You're goin' soft, gettin' worked over by a bunch of goofballs on motorcycles.
:'''Rex:''' They had weapons.
:'''Bobo:''' Last time I checked, so did you.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, but not while I'm on my bike. I'm strictly one at a time.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The nanites that have infected his body are slowly poisoning him. I've never seen anything like it.
:'''Rex:''' Do what you can, Doc? I'm gonna go out and look for those racers.
:'''Bobo:''' Sounds dangerous.
:'''Rex:''' Sure, Bobo. You can come, too. The nanites we found on the biker gave off a different energy signature. Gonna use one of Holiday's new toys to try to scan for it. A bunch of them. And they're moving fast.
:'''Bobo:''' Then step on it! Maybe Holiday has a point about prototypes!
:'''Rex:''' Or maybe they're not on the streets. I'll watch the road. You watch the screen.
:'''Bobo:''' Gotta warn you-- Chimps make bad navigators!
:'''Rex:''' Just do it!
:'''Bobo:''' Hmm? Left! You're goin' left! Make a right! Another right!
:'''Rex:''' Which way?
:'''Bobo:''' I don't know! That way-ish! Wah! Like I said-- Monkeys make great navigators! This is your biker gang?
:'''Rex:''' They had weapons before I'm telling you-- They're tough!
:'''Bobo:''' If you say so.
:''[Bobo grunts]''
:'''Bobo:''' Wall.
:''[Bobo and Rex grunts]''
:'''Moss:''' That's some fancy ridin'. You following us, kid?
:'''Rex:''' Still think they don't look tough?
:'''Bobo:''' I take it back.
:'''Moss:''' Who are you, kid? 'Cause whoever you are, you're not bad.
:'''Rand:''' You're awesome! Where'd you learn to ride like that? Anybody with that kind of skill should be with us. Yeah!
:'''Moss:''' What's your secret?
:'''Rex:''' No secret. I'm just built that way.
:'''Lunk:''' Is that guy from TV-- The one who fights EVOs.
:'''Bobo:''' Five bucks for pictures, ten bucks for autographs.
:'''Rand:''' A talking monkey! Outrageous! I gotta have one. Is he for sale?
:'''Bobo:''' Brother, you can't afford me.
:'''Rex:''' You guys seem tight-- For guys who try to kill each other.
:'''Rand:''' We're not killers. We're racers. This is a legitimate sport.
:'''Moss:''' It is what it is. Our races aren't for the weak. Name's Moss. You've met Rand.
:'''Rex:''' He tried to blow me up.
:'''Rand:''' I missed. You're welcome. Come on, don't leave me hangin'.
:'''Moss:''' Never met a celebrity who could ride.
:'''Rex:''' I caught you, didn't I?
:'''Moss:''' But are you tough enough try me?
:'''Rex:''' Try me.
:'''Bobo:''' You gotta fight back?
:'''Rex:''' With what?
:'''Bobo:''' Oh, brother. Fine, leave it to Chimpy. Aah! I'll take that. Phbt!
:'''Rex:''' Something else on the map-- Moving fast! And it's big!
:'''Providence Agent:''' Halt! You kids! Pull over! Now!
:'''Moss:''' Cops!
:'''Bobo:''' Worst than cops-- Providence.
:'''Rex:''' The bikes give off a nanite signature. They must have tracked it.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Rex, what are you doing here?
:'''Rex:''' Research. You don't want to get caught up in this! Back off now! Sorry, guys. Have Black Knight sent me the bill.
:'''Rand:''' Ha! No way! You want to beat me, you gotta step your game up. Aah!
:''[Rand groans]''
:'''Rex:''' Rand!
:'''Bobo:''' Don't stop! Kid's wearing armor. He's fine.
:'''Rex:''' No! Something's wrong!
:''[Rand groans]''
:'''Rex:''' What is this thing? Doc? Get over here quick. We've got another one.
:'''Biker gangs:''' WHOO-HOO-HOO!
:''[Biker gangs laughs]''
:'''Biker gangs:''' Yeah!
:'''Moss:''' We thought you'd bailed on us. Where were you?
:'''Rex:''' Watching a doctor try to save Rand's life.
:'''Moss:''' Racers get sick sometimes. It's part of the life.
:'''Rex:''' Those nanite power sources-- you got to stop using them. To feel one with the road, that rush? So some people get sick. When we're on our rides, nothing else matters.
:'''Rex:''' Your rides are killing you! You're gonna be dead-- All of you! And for what? So you can go a little faster?
:'''Moss:''' We need those things to ride. You know what it's like.
:'''Lunk:''' Please. Don't take our bikes away.
:'''Rex:''' Nobody's going to take your bikes. But I need to know where you got those nanites.
:'''Lunk:''' ''[sighs]'' A guy named Valve. He supplies the superchargers.
:'''Moss:''' You're wasting your time. Valve never talks to anybody.
:'''Rex:''' He'll talk to me.
:'''Bobo:''' Been in a lot of bad biker dives, but this is the worst I've ever seen.
:'''Valve:''' Enter, strangers. The biker will see you now. Please, sit. May I offer you some tea?
:'''Rex:''' I'll pass.
:'''Valve:''' Suit yourself. I find a good cup of tea soothing-- for the body and the soul.
:''[Valve slurps]''
:'''Valve:''' You don't have to tell the biker why you're here. The biker can tell. You wish to buy a supercharger.
:''[Valve slurps]''
:'''Rex:''' Your superchargers are killing people. It's gonna stop.
:''[Valve breathes deeply]''
:'''Valve:''' Hmm. That sounds like a challenge.
:'''Rex:''' Maybe it is. I'll race you for them. If I win, you hand over your entire stockpile.
:'''Valve:''' Shh! Your answer is on the wind.
:'''Rex:''' You're... not right in the head, are you?
:'''Valve:''' When the wind commands, the impossible game must be gamed. The challenge is accepted. We will race for the superchargers. And when the biker wins... It won't matter.
:'''Rex:''' Why is that?
:'''Valve:''' Because you'll be dead. Let the race begin.
:'''Moss:''' This is his own private track. He knows it better than anyone. You can still back out-- Probably.
:'''Rex:''' And let people become poison, like Valve? No. I can take him. Just give me something to hit him with. You guys are walking arsenals. You don't have anything?
:'''Moss:''' You didn't think we'd need 'em today.
:'''Bobo:''' Oh, boy.
:'''Six:''' Message from Holiday. The two sick teens have stabilized, but she's still a ways from finding a cure.
:'''Rex:''' It was the only weapon I could find, okay? Can I borrow the sword?
:'''Six:''' Use your own.
:'''Rex:''' On wheels? It's not gonna happen.
:'''Six:''' What's stopping you?
:'''Rex:''' Well, for one thing, I-- Um, not sure exactly.
:'''Six:''' What have I been teaching you? Focus on what you want and make it happen. No more excuses.
:''[Bobo munching]''
:''[Bobo munching]''
:'''Valve:''' You're lucky. One the very best get a chance at this track.
:'''Rex:''' Then I should fit right in. Rules of the game-- ten laps. Cross the finish line before the biker, and you may have them.
:'''Rex:''' So, is the wind talking to you now?
:'''Valve:''' The wind commands the Biker to destroy you. The Biker is happy to oblige.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Bobo:''' You gonna help him?
:'''Six:''' He's doing fine.
:'''Bobo:''' Are you watchin' the same race I am?
:''[Valve grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' You're in trouble, Rex! No. Keep it together. Keep... it... together. Six said it-- Focus. Focus. Focus!
:''[Valve laughs]''
:'''Valve:''' Oblivion.
:'''Six:''' Like I sad-- He's doing fine.
:'''Rex:''' Double-up! Where have you been all my life?
:''[Valve grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Cute toy. But I like mine better.
:'''Valve:''' Aah!
:'''Rex:''' Was there any doubt?
:'''Bobo:''' Yeah, plenty.
:''[Valve panting]''
:'''Rex:''' We had the deal. Remember?
:'''Valve:''' Like the storm that changes directions on a whim, the biker is changing the deal. 'Cause the biker-- ''[grunts]'' Doesn't like! ''[grunts]'' The biker-- ''[grunts]'' never loses! ''[grunts]'' Unh!
:'''Rex:''' First time for everything. Thank you, Six.
:'''Six:''' It was all you, kid.
:'''Moss:''' Rand!
:'''Biker gangs:''' Oh, Rand! Good to see you!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Completely detoxified. In a couple days, they'll be back to full strength. Those could be useful at the new base.
:'''Moss:''' You can't stop us from riding.
:'''Rex:''' What's stopping you? You can still ride. You just won't be poisoned by nanites. Come on. Race you back to the garage.
:''[Rex rides off]''
:'''Moss:''' ''[Chasing after Rex]'' You heard the man. Hit it!
:'''Six:''' You do realize we just turned a group of reckless teenage boys loose on the city.
:'''Bobo:''' All in a day's work.

===Heroes United, Part 1===
:'''Caesar:''' Now where are you? So it ''is'' you. This is most disturbing.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Ben:''' You know the friend you care about!? Well, I have a cousin, a grandfather, a best friend that I care about!! They don't exist here! I may never see them again! I'm totally alone! So go ahead! Do your worst.
: '''Rex:''' Maybe we can help each other.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I'm curious how big brother knows about something from a parallel dimension.
: '''Caesar:''' Because I sent it there. In the early days of the Nanite Project, our goal was simple. Construct microscopic machines to cure diseases, grow new cells, regenerate bones. They was a control issue. Some thought a human-machine link was the answer. Others proposed that the machines control themselves. I was in latter cam. I developed the Alpha to control other nanites. To maximize its effectiveness, I had to program Alpha to think for itself. 
:'''Ben:''' Does a low explanation mean something bad on your Earth too?
:'''Rex:''' Yep.
:'''Caesar:''' Alpha developed its own consciousness. It evolved into a unique life-form. It wanted a body, but whatever it built burned out. So when Alpha attempted possessing living this, Alpha had to be eliminated. So I built a dimensional disruptor.
:'''Ben:''' Looks like a Null Void gun. We got some like those back home, too.

===Heroes United, Part 2===
:'''Alpha:''' The nanites in those creatures. They are different, powerful. Your nanites are weak. I have no use for you. Where is the boy?
:'''Holiday:''' His nanites are off limits!!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' My brother!? Look around! He's not here!
:'''Alpha:''' The father is redundant. Now that I found you.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Alpha:''' I cannot merge! What makes you so special, human? Yes. You shelter an Omega.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''White Knight:''' Don't let it get to Rex! If it drains his nanites-!
:'''Diamondhead:''' Game over. I get it.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex''': My most powerful builds came from the Omega nanite. A lot of people are going to get hurt and I can't stop it. What happens when the best you can do just isn't enough?
:'''Ben''': You get an Upgrade.
:'''Rex:''' Weren't you listening? Alpha has the Omega.
:'''Ben:''' I'm not talking about a nanite.
:(''Transforms into Upgrade'')
:'''Rex''':  Hey, what are you- ''[Upgrade merges with Rex]'' Whoa, okay, that feels weird. ''[Upgrade covers Rex's body like a suit]'' Wow, what supposed to happen now? ''[Upgrade's head appears on Rex's left shoulder]'' Uh...don't do that, you freaking me out!
:'''Upgrade''': Build something!
:'''Rex''': ''[Builds a Smack Arm, which is modified by Upgrade]'' Sweet, so what's the plan?
:'''Upgrade''': You build stuff, I make it better. Fight fight fight, we win!
:'''Rex''':  Works for me! ''[Rex builds a Boogie Pack and blasts off]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Alpha''': Organics who rely on machines for their power, I don't need. The machines themselves, now those I will have.
===Phantom of the Soap Opera===
:'''Rex Salazar:''' In a world he never chose and barely understands... ''[Rex looks over the countryside from a cliff, jumps and lands in a snow scene]'' One incredibly good looking guy fights for us all. His name...you know it baby...Rex. ''[jumps into a lake scene]'' Forget train wrecks... ''[punches]'' And car wrecks... ''[kicks]'' Nothing brings the pain like this Rex. ''[runs into city scene. EVO walks down street, Rex runs up, jumps, grabs EVO's head and tears it off. Holds it over his head in victory gesture.]''
:'''Actor in costume:''' Yeah, yeah, that's hilarious kid.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Ah, anytime you want to stop trying to get me fired get back to the tour.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Sorry. Got caught up in the moment.
:'''Actor in costume:''' Ah, dude?
:''[Rex puts head back on the man in EVO costume.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' And on your left, the sound stage where they make the hit TV show Middle School Talent show.
:''[Teen girls on tour squeal and run towards it.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' That's a closed set. ''[Noah pulls on his hair]'' C'mon, this is my first week as a page, I could lose my job!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I got this. ''[pulls girls back from stage with turbines]'' I just don't get girls, how come they get so... ''[notices something behind Noah, acts all excited]'' Huh hu oh huh... oh El Amor de la Pasion del Amor! Why didn't you tell me EADLPDA was made here?
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Um, probably because I didn't really believe you actually still watch a soap opera.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' It's a telenovela. The actresses are smoking hot. And I don't have cable?...ah c'mon dude don't be a hater. ''[crosses arms]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Whatever. We're not going in there, they get like ten safety violations a week, no one's allowed in accept crew and studio staff.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' You mean like pages? ''[Brushes Noah's shoulder with his hand, smiling. Noah brushes his hand away.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' No way. My boss is a total butt-buster for the rules and she is always watching. ''[makes binocular with his hands]''
:'''Head Page:''' You got that right bub. ''[Rex looks behind him, and jumps away]'' By the way Page, you lose something? ''[has three girls from Noah's tour group tied up in a rope]'' Found these wandering over by Middle School Talent Show. ''[Noah runs over and unties them, rope falls]''
:'''Head Page:''' ''[points to her left eye]'' I got my one good eye on you, Nixon.
:''[On set of telenovela]''
:''[Isabella crying]''
:'''Reymundo:''' Pensabas que yo era tu marido. ¡Pero fue una mentira! Pero la verdad es que soy Reymundo, el hermano diabólico de Reynaldo.
:'''Isabella:''' Yo sé, pero todavía te amo.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[standing by salad bar in cafeteria looking up at TV screen]'' How can anyone say that's not great!
:''[Man in cowboy hat tips his hat to Noah]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Whoa? Celebrities know you?
:''[There are drinks on their trays at this point, then in the next frame there are no drinks on their trays and they go over to get drinks.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' The only one here who knows my name is my boss. I'm just a newb on an internship.
:''[Blond girl puts her hand on Noah's shoulder and reaches across him to get a soda, walks away, looks back and gives him a finger gun.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Yeah right, you just got a finger gun from TV weather lady Summer Sonnenshine.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' It's the page jacket not me, if you put this thing on everyone would think you work here. Still. I gotta admit it's pretty cool.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Y'know, I didn't even know you'd applied for this. But I guess when you jump ahead in time you gotta expect some surprises...OH MY GOSH... ''[drops tray]'' It's Isabella, from El Amor del Pasion del Amor.
:''[Rex throws up his arms, knocks tray into Noah's chest spilling it all over his jacket]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' AHHH!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I know she's even hotter in real life than she is on the...
:'''Noah Nixon:''' ''[looks down at tray and jacket]'' Ohhhhh...
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Okay, okay don't worry...
:'''Head Page:''' ''[yelling at another page behind Rex]'' You call yourself a page!
:'''Rex:''' Okay worry. ''[puts his fingers together]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' This is a huge violation of the dress code, oh I am so fired!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No you're not. Come on, move!
:''[They run to a supply closet.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' I've gotta lead another tour in 45 minutes. We can't get to a dry cleaners and back in 45 minutes.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' This is my bad, but I can fix this. ''[Noah panicking, rocking and hyperventilating]'' We just have to calm down and think. Just calm down. ''[Rex points at Noah]'' Noah, calm down!
:''[Rex grabs a bottle of pickles off the shelf, opens the lid and throw contents of jar at Noah's head. A pickle ends up in Noah's mouth, he spits it out.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Not helping. ''[Noah, calm now and not hyperventilating and rocking, wipes pickle juice out of his eyes.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Okay, listen we passed the wardrobe department on the tour, they've gotta have a washer and dryer right?
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Uh... yeah, I guess?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Alright, good, give me your outfit and stay put, I'll take care of everything else.
:''[Scene change. Sign which says laundry stages commissary.]''
:''[Rex runs towards laundry, passes stage of telenovela. Grins and stops. Looks into open door. Looks down at soiled jacket. Up at stage doorway. Walks away. Runs back and grins bigger. Walks into stage with Noah's jacket on.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh...
:'''Isabella:''' Finally! You are here!
:''[Isabella kisses Rex all over his face.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' This is happening, right? I'm not going to wake up and be making out with my pillow again am I?
:'''Isabella:''' Come with me, they want to cancel us you know. That's why the studio puts us here in this place falling apart with all the accidentes.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Soap operas do not get the respect they deserve.
:'''Isabella:''' You are very wise for your age. We don't even go backstage anymore. Too dangerous.
:''[A silhouette of a rat is seen, it squeaks]''
:'''Beatriz:''' Is that our page?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh...
:''[Rex falls]''
:'''Isabella:''' He's mine, I saw him first!
:''[Rex gets up and Isabella grabs him.]''
:'''Isabella:''' He is mine!!!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hum?
:'''Beatriz:''' Why don't we let him decide?
:'''[Rex is being pulled back and forth]''
:'''Isabella:''' You would like that wouldn't you?
:'''Beatriz:''' Yes I would! Very much.
:'''Isabella:''' Fine.
:''[Girls growl at each other and walk away.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[grinning]'' Did they just cat-fight over me?
:''[The girls come back with lists.]''
:'''Isabella:''' Here is a list of what I need you to do!
:'''Beatriz:''' And here's mine!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' You want me to work on the show?
:'''Beatriz:''' Claro que si, we haven't had a page on set in ages.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' But I'm not ... ''[looks over the girls]'' ...able to think of one reason why I would pass this up.
:''[Screen cuts to Noah looking out the door. He sees the chief page and closes the door quickly, after that, the scene changes back to Rex carrying boxes of water with yogurt on top.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I got your yogurt, but I couldn't find the water you wanted. So I got these.
:'''Isabella:''' You are dead to me! But I will take this one. ''[takes yogurt]''
:''[Rex stares in shock and drops the boxes full of water.]''
:''[Old man walks in a dressing room, and Reynaldo comes out soon later.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Whoa, it's Reynaldo! Uh, coffee? ''[offers him a mug of coffee]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' Gracias.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Leche?
:'''Reynaldo:''' How dare you! I am lactose intolerant.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh, okay, didn't know that. Sugar?
:''[Reynaldo knocks the sugar out of his hand.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' Real men take their coffee strong and hot. Are you suggesting that I am not a real man?
:''[Rex looks around and the phone rings.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Rex, where are you?
:'''Reynaldo:''' No phone! ''[Reynaldo knocks the phone out of his hand.]'' You will talk to me face to face. Mano a mano! ''[grabs Rex's jacket]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey wait what are you... ''[Reynaldo pulls Rex away from table. Stage light falls where Rex was standing]'' ...Oh, thanks!
:''[Everyone runs up to them.]''
:'''Beatriz:''' Not another accidente!
:'''Isabella:''' ''[scared]'' Ay. Dios mio! No!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' It's okay, I'm fine.
:'''Isabella:''' ''[pushes Rex down]'' My jogurt!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I'd hate to be the guy that has to clean that up... ''[whispers to man though they look at him]'' Oh. ''[Reynaldo hands him the mop.]''
:'''Beatriz:''' If I didn't know better, I'd say that someone was trying to kill us.
:'''Reynaldo:''' Someone is. The head of the studio is trying to kill our soap opera. That's why he put us in this accursed stage, with all these accidentes. But we... ''[another stage light falls and hits his head, he falls to the ground]'' Aahh... Por que? Ay.
:''[Rex looks up and sees a mongoose...runs after it...goes backstage. Sees clowns and a sign saying “Mongo”.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Ugh! Clowns.
:''[The mongoose squeaks.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Lemme guess. You're the one who's been causing all the accidents.
:''[Mongo growls, bears teeth]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Okay, let's say we can wrap this up quietly. Last thing I need is someone wondering why the guy in the page jacket can do this. ''[wraps Mongo up in the whip thing, Mongo gets tiny, escapes, growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Guess that explains how you've been able to hide out back here. ''[Mongo pulls lever cannon comes out of floor and fires at Rex. Platform falls Rex dodges. Mongo squeaks]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Can we please do this a little more quietly and with a lot less YOU trying to kill me?
:''[Mongo jumps into the “O” of his name on the sign.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Wait, that's you, isn't it? You just want your job back. I can help you. ''[reaches in and tries to cure him Mongo runs out and traps Rex's hand]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Enough with the booby traps, I'm trying to help you. ''[Mongo sets off another trap]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh-oh. [makes big fist, weight on rope swings and hits Rex, makes noise]
:'''Beatriz:''' What's going on back there?
:'''Isabella:''' Where is that page? I am beginning to wonder ...HOW LONG IS IT GOING TO TAKE FOR HIM TO CLEAN UP MY JOGURT!!!!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[Getting thrown around back stage]'' Ouch. ''[gets beat up by mechanical clowns]''
:''[Mongo cuts stars from ceiling they fall and cut Rex's jacket]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Ok, New plan-- First I smash your face, then I cure you.
:''[Mongo knocks over equipment]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No. ''[grabs equipment, Mongo jumps on his arm, punches him and he falls]'' Oww! Look out!
:''[Actors run from set, Rex falls and smashes set]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uhh, okay here's the deal—all the accidents you've been having they were caused by an EVO backstage. It used to be a mongoose and now it wants it's old job back. ''[last wall of stage set falls behind him]''
:'''Beatriz:''' What are jou talking about?
:'''Isabella:''' We just saw you ruin our set.
:'''Reynaldo:''' You are trying to destroy this soap opera just like the rest of them! It is true what they say, this sound stage must be cursed for us to have such a horrible page such as you, Senior... ''[looks at name badge]'' Noah Nixon.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Whoa, wait. This isn't Noah's fault.
:''[Three actors gasps]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' ''[tears off his own shirt]'' Now you insult us by talking about yourself in the third person! Somehow we must rebuild and finish our shoot! But as soon as we do, Noah Nixon, I will have you fired!
:''[Workers fixing set, Rex's phone rings.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Rex! Finally. How's the jacket?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Umm. Well, the good news is you won't notice the stain anymore. Hey uh, by the way, your page training, did it include anything about the creepy backstage in studio B?
:'''Noah Nixon: What? Why are you--
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No reason. I was just thinking, hypothetically, what would happen if I used your jacket to take a quick peek at the telenovela and ended up chasing some killer EVO mongoose? Hypothetically... Uh...Noah?
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Sorry, just trying to figure out how to tell my parents I have no future.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey I got this. I hit a little snag. Just keep your pants on.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' ''[sitting the maintenance closet in his underwear]'' Heh!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Sorry, look, you don't have anything to worry about all I have to do is catch the EVO before they finish shooting and clear my... your name.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' You know what? I'm not worried. I am completely resigned to the fact that I am losing my job. ''[Noah hangs up on Rex. Rex hears dial tone.]''
:'''Beatriz:''' ''[to Reynaldo]'' You are bleeding!
:'''Reynaldo:''' What I am is an actor! We must shoot this scene. We cannot let them cancel us! ''[moans and falls on his face crushing a chair]''
:'''Beatriz:''' You cannot go on.
:'''Isabella:''' If only there were someone else here who knows our show, is fluent in Spanish, and will do a scene in which he kisses me.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I'll do it!!!
:'''Reynaldo:''' You? The one who ruined our set and lied about the EVO? I'd rather die! But then, my life will surely end if the show is canceled, so maybe... But no! It's impossible. But yet, what is more impossible than a dream. Nothing means more than my dream of saving this telenovela!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' So, is that a--
:'''Reynaldo:''' Si. You will be our savior. And then I will have you fired. Accion!
:''[Rex is dressed as Reynaldo. Takes Isabella in his arms and looks deep into her eyes, smiles..then turns away, sees Mongo and gasps. Isabella pulls his face back to her and puckers for a kiss. Mongo squeaks and runs out the door and Rex turns his eyes towards it.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[thinking]'' Okay no kiss, but you're gonna save Noah's job! ''[groans]'' Nope. Doesn't make it any better. ''[Runs out Isabelle runs after him, trips on his wig and falls to the ground gasping, reaching after him]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[makes Rex Ride to chase Mongo down alley. Runs into a set. Falls]'' Where'd you go?
:'''Guy in suit:''' You! Page! Take this script to post, pronto.
:'''Rex Salazar: Hey wait, I'm not--
:'''Guy in suit:''' Oh? You're not going to do it? Are you talking back to me Mr.... Nixon?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No. Mr. Nixon is not definitely not talking back to whoever you are. ''[takes script, leaves]''
:'''Guy in suit:''' Nixon! ''[Points in the other direction of where Rex was going. Rex goes where he's pointing]''
:''[Rex walks by alley hears Mongo munching garbage, sneaks up, tries to cure it. It escapes, Rex corners it in dead end alley]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Oh you're not so tough when you can't hide, are you? ''[Mongo growls and grows huge]'' Oh so you can do that too. ''[Mongo roars, swipes at Rex with claws]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey, watch the jacket. I'm in enough trouble already. ''[Sets down scripts. Big fists. Mongo shrinks to escape. Rex falls to the ground. Mongo gets huge again behind him, tries to stomp on Rex, Rex rolls out of the way, Mongo shrinks and runs away, Rex climbs out of hole in ground breathing heavily and falls to ground.]''
:'''Guy in suit:''' ''[walks up]'' Are you kidding me? You still haven't delivered that script? ''[Rex runs off]''
:'''Guy in suit:''' Nixon! ''[points in other direction, Rex runs that way]''
:''[Mongo jumps off roof grows huge lands on Rex, grabs script.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey, gimme that! ''[grabs Mongo with big fist throws him into a stage building]''
:''[Rex looks in the hole into the stage.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Sorry. ''[runs off after Mongo]''
:''[Mongo throws him higher than the roof tops, Rex lands on big feet, Mongo tackles him. Rex lands in front of the post building, grabs remains of script out of Mongo's mouth. Mongo runs away, Rex gathers script remains and hands it to man at post door.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I think this is for you. ''[runs after Mongo]''
:''[Phone rings]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Did you catch it?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Not yet, but I delivered a script for you, well, most of it.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' I am so dead.
:'''Lady with clipboard:''' ''[grabs Rex by the collar]'' Noah Nixon, you're right on time for your two p.m. tour. ''[Gives Rex clipboard and keys]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[Driving tram with tourists]'' Uh, there's a building where some TV shows are made and there's another one and oh great there's the giant killer EVO.
:''[Mongo chasing tram, Rex steps on gas. Tram goes sloooow. Mongo attacks tram. Rex lands, catches tourists with big hands, flies off on hoverboard]''
:'''Tourist:''' They had better special effects at my kids' school play.
:''[Back on soap opera stage]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' I need a bigger reaction from you. Bigger!
:''[Rex crashes through ceiling with Mongo hanging on the bottom of his hoverboard, heading towards Isabella.]''
:''[Isabella screams and covers head, Mongo crashes into set]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' Yes! That's it exactly!
:''[Mongo growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Be careful or you're gonna get the hand. ''[big fists with right hand. Mongo jumps at him, Rex grins and raises his left hand and cures Mongo. Mongo lays on ground cute and unconscious.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' That's not the hand I meant.
:''[Actors, stunned, applaud]''
:''[Rex picks up Mongo.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' You are a good page, Noah Nixon.
:''[Mongo wakes up runs around on Rex and perches on his shoulder cutely.]''
:''[At supply closet with Noah, Rex walks in holding torn up jacket]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Oh, my jacket! ''[Cuddles jacket, then holds it up and glares at Rex through the hole in it. Rex grins guiltily.]''
:''[Head Page walks in, Noah hides jacket, then realizes he is in underwear and tries to hide himself behind jacket.]''
:'''Head Page:''' I got a dozen calls from all over the lot about you, Nixon. I don't know what you were thinking. ''[He sits down, sweat runs down his face, he closes his eyes, frowns, runs head away. Head page grabs him and hugs him.]''
:'''Head Page:''' I'm proud of you, kiddo! It took me sixty seven years to make chief page. I bet you'll get the job in half that time. ''[Noah stands up holding jacket in front of him. Rex and Noah look puzzled Head Page walks to door, turns back]''
:'''Head Page:''' Oh and them soap opera fellas, eh, they got a special reward for you. ''[they look at each other with puzzled frowns]''
:''[Telenovela stage, Noah dressed as Reynaldo. Isabella kisses him.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' And cut! You look differante than you did before, Noah Nixon. ''[Noah looks up at his blond eyebrows and takes off the wig and mustache. Smiles at Reynaldo. Reynaldo looks at him thoughtfully.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' I can see you've been to makeup. Good you finally look like a real man! ''[Noah smiles.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' [peeking in from backstage, makes a jealous face as Noah is laughing together with the actors.] It's OK, it's OK. You're a good friend, you're a good friend.
:'''Guy in suit:''' You! Quit talking to yourself and get me some coffee! ''[Rex runs off]'' Nixon!
:''[Mongo looking down from rafters]''

===Riddle of the Sphinx===
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' They uncovered the tunnel during routine sewer work. No one has set foot in here in over 3.500 years.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Providence doesn't work the location yet?
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' ''[laughs]'' The antiquities comission does not like this Black Knight. They keep her busy with much paperwork.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The maze looks like it extends for miles. They do that to keep looters out?
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' Or to keep something in.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Anything that was trapped in here couldn't be alive after all this time.
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' I-I-I must go.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''': Watch out! Bobby traps.
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' That's not what I'm afraid of.
:'''Bobo:''' It's only been a few days since we heard from Holiday.
:'''Six:''' Something's wrong.
:'''Bobo:''' Maybe she wanted a vacation from you clowns. &quot;Something's wrong.&quot;
:''[Bobo grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Providence! She in is trouble.
:'''Six:''' Black Knight. And she has your better half.
:'''Bobo:''' I'm predictin' an awkward situation.
:'''Black Knight:''' Hello, Rex. If you came for your friend, I'll have to disappoint you.
:'''Rex:''' That hairy creep? You can keep the traitor. Hey! My faithful guide, why don't you go away while we discuss business?
:'''Bobo:''' It's me, you dopey tin can! Beat it! Or the boss lady's gonna get wise to our little switcheroo.
:'''Rex:''' What's the campout for?
:'''Black Knight:''' Routine scientific research.
:'''Rex:''' Look, I know Holiday was here. What'd you do with her?
:'''Black Knight:''' We arrived an hour ago. The locals say Holiday unleashed a monster down in the tunnels. The situation's under control. As soon as we've secured the tunnels, I'll send a team in to see if she's still alive.
:'''Rex:''' I'm going with you.
:'''Black Knight:''' You're going nowhere. You quit Providence. Unless you're recosindering?
:'''Rex:''' Come on, guide. Holiday's in those tunnels. But Black Knight has a whole battalion of Providence goons guarding the entrance.
:'''Six:''' I figured she'd be no help. That's why I found someone who knows a back way in.
:'''Egyptian Cooker:''' The Kushari is healthy. For the stomach, good.
:'''Rex:''' Enough about the Kushari! Where's the back entrance?
:'''Egyptian Cooker:''' For so young, you in such a hurry. And old cook like me, I live by selling Kushari. Why not buy some? You buy, I give you more information.
:'''Bobo:''' Ah, come on. Stop bein' so stingy. Buy some more.
:'''Six:''' Where's the back entrance?
:'''Egyptian Cooker:''' The sewer man-- They came to fix a leak. They found the tunnel to the entrance in my basement.
:'''Bobo:''' Mmm!
:'''Rex:''' Way cool! Maybe we'll see some mummies!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Tell us where Holiday is!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Where do you think I am?
:'''Six:''' Holiday!
:'''Bobo:''' So, what's with the halloween get up, doc?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I found it in one of the chambers. Scares off the curious. I need to get to the bottom of all this before Black Knight.
:'''Rex:''' The bottom of what? This is all ancient history?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You can this ancient history?
:'''Rex:''' That looks like a nanite!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That's because it is a nanite.
:'''Six:''' How could they have knowledge back then?
:'''Rex:''' Aliens! Like the ones that built the pyramids.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' None of this is more advanced that the 21st century. It's not aliens. I think the answers lie behind this door. But I can't figure out how to open it.
:'''Rex:''' Open the door? No problem, Doc!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Stop! This whole place is booby-trapped. We open this wrong, they'll bring the tunnels down on us.
:'''Rex:''' If there's a wrong way to open it, then that means there's a right way, too. Maybe the nanite picture is a clue. The whole thing is rigged like one. Told you-- No prob. Whoa, mumies.
:'''Bobo:''' What are you lookin' at, beautiful?
:'''Rex:''' Ha! Awesome! I'd love to see the look on Knight's face when she finds out we've beat her here.
:'''Black Knight:''' Then let me step a little closer so you can see.
:'''Six:''' How'd you find us?
:'''Black Knight:''' Your mole helped me.
:'''Bobo:''' Sorry, pal.
:'''Black Knight:''' I should have known better. It's old junk from the dead.
:''[Black Knight gasps]''
:'''Guranset:''' Gharun Set is not dead.
:'''Rex:''' Put her down!
:'''Black Knight:''' This isn't the time for violence. Our host has forgotten his manners. I presume he hasn't had guests in a long time.
:'''Guranset:''' Almost an eternity. Gharun Set said has waited for his release. Awaken this cursed prison through the ages.
:'''Black Knight:''' You speak English. That is interesting. Who taught your own language, Gharun Set?
:'''Guranset:''' I was taught by the great father.
:'''Black Knight:''' Father? What did he look me?
:'''Guranset:''' He is dead-- As all of you soon shall be!
:'''Black Knight:''' Now's the time for violence.
:'''Guranset:''' Aah!
:'''Black Knight:''' A nanite disrupter. Something I had your brother's lab whip up. It's quite lethal.
:'''Rex:''' Looks like the lab forgot to tell him that.
:'''Guranset:''' The boy controls the engines of life? It can't be. I laid low the armies of six kingdoms, swordsman. You think your tiny blades can stop me?
:'''Rex:''' Try this one for size!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex!
:'''Rex:''' Huh?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' His staff is a nanite disrupter. Get it away from him.
:'''Rex:''' Easier said than done!
:'''Guranset:''' Haah!
:'''Rex:''' Oh, mummies!
:'''Bobo:''' Yeah, yeah, you got your mummies. I hope you're happy!
:'''Six:''' Rex! We can handle this! He's getting away!
:'''Guranset:''' One last trap to keep me imprisoned, father. Nothing will keep me from my destiny! You serve his plan, child, and don't even know it.
:'''Rex:''' Everybody talk weird in ancient Egypt, or it is just your special thing? Uh... are they supposed to do that?
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Guranset:''' Finally! I am free!
:'''Six:''' These EVO's won't say dead.
:'''Bobo:''' Their breath stinks, too! Ah, boy!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You could thank me for saving your life.
:'''Black Knight:''' Dr. Holiday, our lives are not safe yet.
:'''Guranset:''' I am not alone. Together, we shall reconquer this land, and then.. the world!
:'''Rex:''' Uh, I think the sun's baked him loopy. You can't reanimate that. It's a statue.
:'''Guranset:''' This is not statue, child. It is a tomb. Arise, my mighty steed. Arise, my sphinx!
:'''Rex:''' Providence, this is Rex. You may want to evacuate Cairo.
:'''Guranset:''' This city is a blight upon my kingdom. All shall be as it once was.
:'''Rex:''' I'm warning you, Gharun Set-- I don't want to have to get rough with you. Step off the pussycat.
:'''Guranset:''' You presume to tell a pharaoph what to do. Be gone!
:'''Six:''' Holiday. There's something I want to tell you before it's too late.
:'''Bobo:''' Ugh. Hold still! Oh, no.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' All of them. Like the nanites keeping them alive... self-destructed? I'm sorry. What were you going to say?
:'''Six:''' Holiday... I, uh...
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hold that thought.
:'''Bobo:''' What's it gonna be, the kooky chicks or we go help Rex save the world?
:'''Six:''' Rex probably has this under control. Holiday needs my-- our help.
:'''Bobo:''' Yeah, I can't resist a good catfight either.
:'''Rex:''' Let me handle! This it's too dangerous!
:'''Pilot:''' Black Knight, target sighted. It's riding a 50-foot-tall house cat. Please advise.
:'''Black Knight:''' Do not harm. Contain and capture. We need that specimen.
:''[Black Knight gasps]''
:'''Black Knight:''' Pilot disregard. Last order. Target no longer needed. Destroy. Repeat-- Destroy.
:'''Pilot:''' You're with the lady. Lock and load.
:'''Rex:''' Huh? Whoa! Get out of here! I don't know what he's up to, but it's not good.
:'''Garunset:''' Behold the majesty of my dream. My kingdom! My paradise!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' What is this place?
:'''Black Knight:''' It's the stuff of legends. The fabled hall of records which lay hidden beneath where the sphinx once was.
:'''Bobo:''' &quot;Was&quot;?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' This can't be! That's the helix splitter. And that looks like a nano-flux inducer. Caesar built the first prototype of one last year.
:'''Black Knight:''' I can't let you touch any of this. It's too unstable with age. When you blundered in the tomb, you set off a safeguard. Someone thought this room too dangerous for the world to know about.
:'''Bobo:''' Agreed. Let's scram!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' We can't! Don't you know what this means to science? The knowledge in here is invaluable. It cannot be lost-- Again!
:'''Black Knight:''' It won't be! Now that we know where it is, we can dig it out later. We will study it. I promise you that.
:'''Six''': Holiday. Let it go.
:'''Guranset''': As father promised-- I will rule forever.
:'''Rex''': Forever is gonna be shorter than you think.
:'''Guranset''': No! Nooooo!
:'''Rex''': Aw, come on! I didn't hit you that hard!
:''[Guranset gasps]''
:'''Rex''': What's happening to you?
:''[Guranset gasps]''
:'''Guranset''': Aaaaaaaaah!
:''[Guranset grunts]''
:'''Guranset''': Do not touch your pharaoh.
:'''Rex''': You need help. Your nanites are dying of old age-- I think. It's like starting an old car. Uh, o-or a camel. Let me help you. I can fix your nanites, and then maybe--
:'''Guranset''': Lies!
:'''Rex''': You're in a strange time, a strange place. We have science, machines. We can help you. Trust us.
:'''Guranset''': Like you trust the woman you call Black Knight? I see now this is a world of lies. You and I have no place in it. Father told me of you... Rex.
:'''Rex:''' What? How do you know my--
:'''Guranset''': I would have helped the world. Ended the hunger, the wars. But now he will return. Avenge me. ''[Echoing]'' I see now this is a world of lies. You and I have no place in it.
&lt;hr width80/&gt;
:'''Black Knight:''' You wanted something?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The hall of records-- You can't keep it a secret. It must be studied. That hall--
:'''Black Knight:''' What hall?
:'''Rex:''' Why'd you do that?! Holiday said--
:'''Black Knight:''' Some secrets are best left buried under the sands, Rex.
:''[Dr. Holiday grunts]''
:'''Black Knight:''' Gentleman. Dr. Holiday.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six, what'd you want to tell me back in the tomb?
:'''Six:''' It can wait.
:'''Rex:''' Don't wait too long.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' All those priceless artifacts. And we still don't know who created Gharun Set.

===Guy vs. Guy===
:'''Rex:''' This means war.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Double Vision===
: ''[The episode starts as a butterfly flies through plants in a flower shop. Suddenly, Rex is thrown into the shop window, making nearby civilians run away. Rex gets up and looks out of the broken glass, seeing a beastly plant EVO, a few people watching, and Agent Six slashing his swords around to evade the EVO's tentacles.]''
: '''Rex:''' ''[Pants and brushes leaves off his sleeve and puts on goggles.]'' Not bad!
: ''[Uses the Punk Busters to jump out of the shop and generates his Smack Hands to uppercut the EVO, causing it to crash into a nearby building.]'' But I'm better!
: ''[The EVO gets out of the glass windows and roars, attacking Agent Six.]''
: '''Agent Six:'''	''[Cuts off a tentacle and walks towards Rex.]'' Talk is cheap, Rex. Prove it.
: '''Rex:''' ''[Generating the Smack Hands.]'' No problemo.
: ''[The EVO rushes towards Rex, unfortunately, Rex grabs it and slams it onto the ground. A random girl is driving up the road on a moped. However, she is stopped as the EVO blocks the path.]''
: '''Rex:''' ''[Putting his hands up to assure the girl.]'' Nothing to worry about, I've got this handled. ''[Turns to EVO, whom is still on the floor.]'' Okay big guy, say adiós to those nasty nanites.
: '''Rex:''' ''[Rex kneels down to cure the EVO, flowers spout out of the EVO]'' Aw, for me? Does this mean we're dating?
: ''[Suddenly, the flowers shoot out some goo into Rex's face, making him slam onto the floor, a crowd forms around the battle.]''
: '''Rex:''' ''[Yelps while getting up and pulls his goggles off and wipes the goo off his face.]'' Oh, that's better. ''[He gives his goggles to the random female on the moped]'' Hey! Watch these for me. ''[Runs back into battle and generates the Punk Busters and kicks the blacked out EVO over a building.]'' Goal! Hey thanks for holding onto my...huh?...
: ''[Rex turns around to see the girl missing from the crowd. Deforming his Punk Busters, he spots the girl riding away on her moped. She turns to look back at Rex, appearing to have on his goggles.]''
: '''Rex:''' Goggles!
: ''[Rex puts one of his hands up to signal for her to wait, but the EVO returns and wraps its tentacle around Rex's neck. The EVO twists Rex in mid-air in the sky for a minute before slamming him onto the cement. Rex gets up and sees the goggle girl riding away out of sight.]''
: '''Rex:''' Hey! You've got my...ungh...goggles... Aah! Ungh! Did you see that girl?! She stole my goggles!
: '''Agent Six:''' Priorities, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' They are my priority, Six. I can pound EVOs any day. Those goggles are-- Ah, great. Who invited her?
: '''Black Knight:''' Stand down, gentlemen. We've got this covered.
: '''Rex:''' We don't need any help. Whoa! Whoa! Ungh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Obviously. Control collar-- Now. We'll take it from here.
: '''Rex:''' Take it from whe-e-re?! I've already got this under contro-o-o-o-l! Whoa! Ugh! Let me try to cure it.
: '''Black Knight:''' The new Providence protocol is to confine, constrain and control. If curing is an option, it will be considered-- At my discretion.
: '''Rex:''' Control? I can cure it now and end this.
: '''Black Knight:''' The offer still stands. If you want to come back to Providence, you can continue your mission.
: '''Rex:''' I have my mission!
: '''Black Knight:''' Curing every EVO on Earth isn't a mission, Rex. It's an impossibility.
: '''Rex:''' Watch me.
: '''Black Knight:''' Everybody back! Contain those seedlings!
: '''Rex:''' You just made it worse! Now I've got to clean up your mess. Starting with this guy. See? Fearing works!
: '''Black Knight:''' It was your actions that exacerbated this situation. I want full containment and control over those seedlings. Move out-- Now.
: '''Agent Six:''' While you were arguing, Holiday found another sprout. Let's go deal with that before Providence does.
: '''Rex:''' But-- My goggles!
: '''Agent Six:''' Focus, Rex. We've got work to do.
: '''Rex:''' Nice work!
: '''Agent Six:''' Drop in the bucket. Look below.
: '''Rex:''' Wow. And I thought I'd be able to knock off early today.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' On the contrary, Rex. By overlaying current worldwide wind patterns on top of international population centers, we're looking at total global infestation within thirty-eight hours.
: '''Bobo:''' Ooh, that's a lot of roughage.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' I need to get in the field and obtain some live samples. Bobo and I will meet you at the rendezvous point in the mobile command center.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, doc. We're almost there. Hey! It's that girl! Wh-o-o-o-oa!
: '''Agent Six:''' What's gotten into you, Rex?
: '''Rex:''' My goggles-- I can't see without them!
: '''Agent Six:''' Obviously, you can see without them.
: '''Rex:''' Well, yeah, but I really need them a lot of the time. Don't you remember when I first got them?
: '''Agent Six:''' Actually, no.
: '''Rex:''' Oh. Sorry. My bad. It was early on, when I was just learning to control my powers. Whoa!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Aaaah! Aah! Aaaaah! Oof!
: '''Agent Six:''' Horse manure.
: '''Rex:''' This is exactly why I need my goggles! Hey! I thought this thing was just a sprout!
: '''Agent Six:''' It's the nature of plants to grow.
: '''Rex:''' Hm. Very Zen of you, Six. Well, it's the nature of me to kick EVO butt! Whoa! Oof! Yuck! This stuff really stinks!
: '''Agent Six:''' All yours.
: '''Rex:''' Ta-da! And for my next trick... Oh, and look who's late to the party.
: '''Black Knight:''' ''[Entering]'' Alpha team, I want you to lay down suppressive fire and--
: ''[Realizing the EVOs not there]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Belay that. Sit Ops, I was told we had a Class-Three EVO situation here. Where is the EVO?
: '''Rex:''' ''[Rex hands her flowers]'' Sorry. This is all that's left. Six, are we good here? I've got to run.
: '''Agent Six:''' I'd put those in water.
: '''Black Knight:''' Unh!
: '''Rex:''' Slow down! I just want to-- Ungh!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex:''' Huh? What?! No way! Hey! You've got my-- Ugh! Whoa! ...Goggles.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You've got bigger problems than a girl on a scooter, Rex. First a flower shop, then gardening supplies. It's getting hungrier. Gentlemen, I suggest you get to the sewage-treatment plant as quickly as possible.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Why?
: '''Agent Six:''' Fertilizer, Rex, as in if those sprouts chow down on that much raw nourishment, we're in some deep...
: ''[Plant EVO bursts through a nearby wall]''
: '''Rex:''' ...Horse maneure. Hungry? Eat this!
: '''Agent Six:''' Holiday, get to the sewage plant. We'll meet you there after we clean up.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Clean up? I'd rather make a mess! Shoulda brought my chainsaw.
: '''Agent Six:''' Shoot the seedlings!
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Okay, this time I'm going to--
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Hey! Wait! Aw, man! Back off!
: ''[Rex panting]''
: '''Bobo:''' You went a little nuts there, buddy. I like it! But... Goggles?
: '''Rex:''' That EVO interrupted before I could finish the story.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Agent Six:''' Here, kid. Try these on.
: '''Rex:''' Um, so I can look like a total doofus?
: '''Agent Six:''' You have no idea how unique these goggles are, Rex. A reclusive weaponsmith in Zurich crafted this single pair before he turned EVO.
: '''Rex:''' Really? And then what happened to him?
: '''Agent Six:''' I did. He won't be crafting any more goggles.
: '''Rex:''' Cool!
: '''Agent Six:''' These are one-of-a-kind, Rex-- Special, for you.
: '''Bobo:''' What a bunch of chimp chips! Those goggles are-- Whoa!
: '''Rex:''' Wow. That is a lot of rampaging EVO.
: '''Bobo:''' Yeah. Lucky holiday-- She's right in the thick of it.
: '''Rex:''' Lucky?
: '''Bobo:''' She gets to try out all the special modifications I made to that sweet ride.
: ''[Dr. Holiday grunts]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Plant EVO has Holiday trapped inside the Mobile Command Center]'' Okay. Let's see how you like 10,000 volts of--
: ''[Holiday presses a button, and music starts playing]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Bobo's mix tape?! Who puts the stereo next to the weapons system?! One more time-- Big red button. Always go for the big red button. Unless you don't want to drain the batteries to zero.
: ''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Bobo, your improvements could use some improvements. Rex, if you're not too busy, I'd appreciate a little assistance.
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, ain't that your girlfriend?
: '''Agent Six:''' She can take care of herself, right, Rex?
: '''Rex:''' Right-- For now.
: ''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' That's more like it. Ungh! Fine! Let's see how you like this! I don't know what you just did, Rex, but thanks. Rex?
: '''Black Knight:''' I admit our last encounter didn't end well, but I think we need to work together on this one.
: '''Rex:''' You want to work together? We left Providence, remember?
: '''Black Knight:''' Rex--
: '''Rex:''' What happened to &quot;stay out of my way&quot;?
: '''Black Knight:''' Rex!
: '''Rex:''' So now when you need somebody to take out your trash, you can just forget that I quit your crummy organization?
: '''Black Knight:''' Yes, Rex, I can, because I don't let my emotions guide my choices. I only want what's best for Providence-- And the world.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, cool. Just wanted to hear you say it. Aah!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, the EVO is too big to cure without getting to its core.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah, well, I'm not doing much good out here!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' All those vines, the seedlings, everything-- They're just puppets to the plant. Stop those nanites in the core, and you cut the strings.
: '''Rex:''' On it! Huh?!
: '''Agent Six:''' Watch it, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' Whoa! All I want are my goggles. All I've wanted all day are my goggles, and this EVOs been blocking me over and over! Hey, Bobo, you know how to shoot one of these?
: '''Bobo:''' Eh, how hard could it be?
: '''Rex:''' Load me into this thing and point it right at that EVO's sweet spot. And hurry. I got better stuff to do.
: '''Bobo:''' You do know that's 30,000 gallons of raw sewage you're aimin' at?
: '''Rex:''' Don't remind me. Oh... Yuck! Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck!
: '''Agent Six:''' Elegant solution, Rex.
: '''Bobo:''' You don't smell elegant. You stink worse than me. I'm a little jealous.
: '''Black Knight:''' All right, Rex. Get to work.
: '''Rex:''' Work? What do you mean? I just served that vegetable!
: '''Black Knight:''' You cut the strings, but you still have to fix the puppets.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' She's right, Rex.
: '''Black Knight:''' You want to cure the world? Start curing.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex:''' Whoa, man, I'm beat! I don't think I can move another inch if you paid me.
: ''[Goggle girl rides past him]''
: '''Rex:''' Gotta move! See ya! Hey! Stop for a second! Six, I'm really starting to think this girl's got some kind of EVO action going on-- Teleporter, speedster, something.
: '''Goggle girl:''' Hey!
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Six, she's not just a teleporter. She can make doubles of herself-- Multiple abilities! She's an EVO, like me!
: '''Goggle girl:''' It's the skeevy guy who's been chasing me. He was chasing me, too. And me. What do you want?
: '''Rex:''' You took my goggles! I want them back!
: '''Goggle girl:''' Hey, Einstein, did you see our logo? That stands for &quot;Goggle Girl&quot;, as in the delivery service. You haven't ever heard of us?
: '''Rex:''' Um... No.
: '''Goggle girl:''' &quot;Nothing is cuter than a girl on a scooter.&quot; Kind of hard to miss.
: ''[Goggle girl groans]''
: '''Goggle girl:''' It's the worst slogan ever.
: '''Rex:''' But-- But my goggles!
: '''Goggle girl:''' Part of our costume. The boss buys them in bulk, along with these cheesy wigs he makes us wear. It's kind of lame.
: '''Rex:''' In bulk?! Those goggles?! But... They're one-of-a-kind! They're special! They're-- They're... I'll just go now. Nope. Nope. Definitely not.
: '''Agent Six:''' I still don't know why those goggles were so important to you.
: '''Rex:''' You gave to me, Six. It was the first present, the first nice thing that I remember getting since you found me. You said they were special, and that made me feel special.
: '''Six:''' Yes, about those goggles... Apparently, according to Bobo, I may have misled you. There was dozens of them in the Providence service bay.
: '''Rex:''' I knew the story was fake, but you told it because you cared about me. That's what made them special.
: '''Agent Six:''' I see.
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, champ. You got a package.
: '''Goggle girl:''' Sign, please.
: '''Agent Six:''' It's for you. From us. Just open it.
: '''Rex:''' My goggles!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Better. We commissioned an enhanced version.
: '''Rex:''' Cool! Infrared... Microscopic... Nanovision?! Thanks, you guys. You really are one-of-a-kind.
: '''Bobo:''' Those are great, but these are me.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' I just need to hold on to them for a few more hours while I run a full diagnostic.
: '''Rex:''' A few hours?! I just got them! Aw!
: '''Bobo:''' Here-- Because I care.
: '''Goggle girl:''' They actually look kinda cute.
: '''Rex:''' Hey, doc! No rush!
: '''Bobo:''' Ain't love grand?

===Black and White===
: '''Calan:''' Be advised, we've got activity. Major activity. Stop right there, or we'll shoot! Don't make me do it.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, I know what you're thinking, but this is totally not what it looks like.
: '''Calan:''' Calan to command, tell Black Knight-- We have apprehended the intruders. Repeat, we got'em.
: '''Rex:''' No! Get out of my head! Stop it! Stop! Stop with the talking! A dream. Oh, thank you! For a second, I swore that I heard his voice. It was almost like he was in the-- Room. Huh?!
: '''White Knight:''' I was wondering if I was gonna have to send the monkey in with a bucket of water. But I thought, &quot;why should he have all the fun?&quot; Five minutes-- Situation room. Consider this your wake-up call.
: '''Rex:''' Aren't you supposed to be playing dead? You're lucky Black Knight doesn't know you're here.
: '''White Knight:''' Black Knight thinks what I want her to think. With the installation of the new regime, I suspected that there was more going on at providence than just this new control protocol. I decided to test my hypothesis. I needed time to operate freely without prying eyes. So I went off the grid.
: '''Rex:''' And from the smell of it, you haven't changed out of your suit since then.
: ''[Bobo sniffs]''
: '''White Knight:''' I've been busy. I've been tracking their operations. They involve familiar locales and even more familiar machinery.
: '''Rex:''' You still use a camera with film? Do they even make that stuff anymore?
: '''White Knight:''' What they don't make are machines like these. This is the wreckage of Rylander's lab.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Are they doing what I think they're doing?
: '''Rex:''' Do what?
: '''White Knight:''' It appears that this new Providence is restarting the nanite program.
: '''Rex:''' There is no way my brother would help restart something that nearly destroyed the world. There's got to be a good explanation. We should just ask him.
: '''White Knight:''' We can't risk direct contact. We need to infiltrate Providence, download her computer banks, and assess how far along they are before we take any other actions.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Over there.
: '''Rex:''' Just saying there's more here than meets the eye. Whoa!
: '''Six:''' Breaking into Providence? That's a big move, even for you. Black Knight is sure to have enhanced the security systems. We may be able to breach the perimeter defenses, but once inside, we'd be blind targets.
: '''White Knight:''' You'd be right if we were playing on her board.
: '''Six:''' Forgive me for doubting you.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, is someone gonna tell me what these are for? This is so not going to work.
: '''Six:''' Trust the plan.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Okay, so, maybe they worked. But how'd you get them to do it on cue?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' All a matter of timing. Assuming we get past the outer perimeter, securing the data is a completely different story. Providence encrypts all data. We need to disable multiple units before we can download anything off the mainframe. Doing that undetected is ''[sighs]'' insane.
: '''Rex:''' Finally, a voice of reason. I'm calling my brother. Took the lady with three phds to realize what I've been saying all along is right. Hey, that costs money! I'm over my minutes!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' How did you... This is...
: '''Six:''' Doable.
: '''Rex:''' Do what? What is that? A secret passage.
: '''White Knight:''' When they built the tower, I had them install, these-- Upper-management corridors.
: '''Six:''' In the old days, they called passages like these the king's road.
: '''White Knight:''' From here, we face some unknowns. Stick to the plan. Or we could die.
: '''Rex:''' What?! Me?! What about you?! Part of the plan was to do this quietly.
: '''Calan:''' Stop right there, or we'll shoot!
: ''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Here we go. Ok, I know what you're thinking, but this is totally not what it looks like.
: '''White Knight:''' Stand down, Rex.
: ''[Calan laughs]''
: '''Calan:''' Welcome back, sir. We've been waiting for you.
: '''Rex:''' Que, huh?
: '''Calan:''' Sorry for the scare, Rex. We couldn't guarantee the Black Knight wasn't taper our communications. It was best to keep radio silence. In any case-- Say hello to your man on the inside. He've got a bomb! All units, fall back, fall back! Captain Calan, do you copy? Report.
: '''White Knight:''' Ready for a repeate performance?
: '''Calan:''' Ready when you are, sir. Good luck, everyone. They're headed for the... petting zoo.
: '''Holiday:''' Here it is. Just like he said.
: '''White Knight:''' This is the Hive. The central nervous system of the entire complex. An electric field protects the inner chambers. We'll need the circuit bandage.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' I've got an idea, but you'll have to go in partially naked. We've got eyes everywhere.
: '''Six:''' Good. Knight and I will handle the encryption towers. You know what to do with this.
: '''Rex:''' No sweat. I'm on it. Just have to make one quick detour. Bro? You in here? Oh, no. No, no, no!
: '''Caesar:''' Rex, is that you? What brings you here?
: ''[Six groans]''
: '''Six:''' Partially naked. Tower one clear. Proceed to next phase.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Got it. Redirecting the data flow now.
: '''Calan:''' Anyone hear for the monkey?
: '''Rex:''' Huh?!
: '''Bobo:''' Offical pet desk. Keep your distance.
: '''Rex:''' Is that Dr. Rylander?
: '''Caesar:''' It is. Well, almost. After you brought back Van Kleiss, I couldn't help but to wonder if perhaps I might do the same for him. Unfortunately, Van Kleiss was already great in tune the nanites. As you can see, Dr. Rylander-- wasn't.
: '''Rex:''' Ok, whatever. Listen, I'm here on a secret mission.
: '''Caesar:''' Secret? 
: '''Rex:''' White Knight said--
: '''Caesar:''' White Knight is alive?
: '''Rex:''' If you can call him that. Anyway, he says... you might wanna sit down for this part? That Black Knight is restarting the nanite program. Don't you think that's messed up?
: '''Caesar:''' On the contrary. I'm in charge of it.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Commencing download in T-2 minutes. White Knight has infiltrated sector three. You're right. They are monitoring our movements. How did you know?
: '''White Knight:''' It's what I would do. Now start evac protocols.
: '''Black Knight:''' I've torn this facility apart looking for that? When I found it, I still couldn't get to it. Bio-feed security system-- Clever. You have to be nanite-free to open it. I guessed you weren't dead. I knew if I let enough info leak about what we're doing here, you've showed up, eventually. I'll take it.
: '''White Knight:''' You can try.
: '''Black Knight:''' What ever you say. You were the boss.
: '''White Knight:''' That's not a providence toy.
: '''Black Knight:''' A woman is entitled her secrets. Especially when those secrets keep me alive.
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''White Knight:''' Ohh! What I could've done with you if I hired you first.
: '''Black Knight:''' Don't fool yourself, White.
: '''White Knight:''' Ohh, ohh, ohh!
: '''Black Knight:''' You were bandage at best. the Consortium knew that you weren't the leader for the future. Stand down, old man!
: '''White Knight:''' I've got a few secrets of my own, kid. After all, this was my office. Consortium or not, it will be again.
: '''Black Knight:''' Ugh!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Be advised, they're on to us. Making for the rendezvous.
: '''Six:''' I'll take my swords back now. Please.
: '''Rex:''' What are you doing, helping Black Knight? She's obviously the more psycho of the two knights.
: '''Caesar:''' I'm not helping the Black Knight do anything. I'm trying to fix things. The day everything changed. We never imagined what would happen when we released the nanites.
: '''Rex:''' Release them?! You caused the nanite event?!
: '''Caesar:''' It was the only way we were going to save the world.
: '''Rex:''' You unleashed the worst man-made disaster the world has ever seen!! You've ruined countless lives!! How can you say that you saved anything?!
: '''Caesar:''' You weren't there... not in any way that mattered! If we hadn't--
: '''Rex:''' Hold that thought. Here, doggy, doggy.
: '''Six:''' Excessive?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Sweet, actually. Now you're overdoing it.
: '''White Knight:''' ''[panting]'' Are we finished here? ''[screams]'' Careful, Black. Your council wouldn't be too pleased if you destroyed the very thing you're after.
: '''Black Knight:''' If doesn't have to be like this, White! The Consortium may have lost faith in you, but you know my methods are right. Come back. Under my protection, who knows? There may even be a promotion in it for you.
: '''White Knight:''' You would turn on your own masters?
: '''Black Knight:''' For that kind of power, wouldn't you?
: '''White Knight:''' You would turn on your own masters?
: '''Black Knight:''' For that kind of power, wouldn't you?
: '''White Knight:''' I am going to stop the Consortium. If you or Providence gets in my way, this tape goes public.
: '''Black Knight:''' Wait!
: '''Caesar:''' Rex, stop! You're destroying my work!
: '''Rex:''' Your work is done! And so are we! I got it. Time to blow this--
: '''Black Knight:''' Stand down, Rex. Face it, kiddo... today is not your day.
: '''Rex:''' Actually, today's wednesday, and wednesday means fiesta night at the cafeteria. Getting in is going to be cake... very dangerous cake. Any bright ideas on how we're getting out?
: '''Bobo:''' I got one word for you, kid-- Plumbing.
: '''Rex:''' I got it. Time to blow this...
: '''Bobo:''' Taco stand.
: '''White Knight:''' Aah!
: '''Bobo:''' Me and Van Gogh, unappreciated in our time.
: '''Rex:''' All of that-- Was for that?! I got nanites, billions of 'em.
: '''White Knight:''' Not like this one, Rex. This is a Meta Nanite. One of several. Hardwired into its design is a program for the original Dominion Code.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Dominion Code? I thought that was a myth.
: '''White Knight:''' I can assure you, doctor, it is very real. Each one gives its host control over different building blocks of the universe- matter, antimatter, elemental, space, time, reality. With the complete code, you can control them. And through them, you control ''everything''. In sort, it's the God Code.
: '''Rex:''' The Consortium want to be...gods?
: '''White Knight:''' If it wasn't for the original Nanite Event scattering the Metas across the globe, they may have already succeeded. The situation has changed, people. Black Knight has been searching the globe for the other Meta-Nanites. She needs them all to complete the Master Program. As long as we're keeping her secret, she'll hold off. But sooner or later, she'll be coming for this with the full power of Providence and the Consortium at her back. So... if you want to move on, forget what I've told you.
: '''Rex:''' You're not getting rid of us that easily, old man. My parents died for this. Black Knight wants war, war she gets.

===Deadzone===
: '''Holiday:''' &quot;You cannot let him out of your sight, Rex. Don't you see why Black Knight wants him? He's the ultimate insurance against any E.V.O.&quot;
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Not just any. Me.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Black Knight:''' &quot;Since the search for Feakins is going nowhere, we have no choice but to become much more aggressive with Rex.&quot;

===Assault on Abysus===
: '''Diane Farrah:''' Through research and hard work, Providence has turned the curse of the EVO into a blessing. One that will serve mankind. Science and compassion have created a new future for all EVOs. A future filled with happiness and hope.
: '''Black Pawn:''' You? Seen some EVOs pass through here?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
*Rex and Circe finally admit their true feelings for one another. Unfortunately, there was not enough episodes to explore their romance further.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: ''[Somewhere in [[w:Hong Kong|Hong Kong, China]]'']''
: '''Circe:''' Okay. They're gone.
: '''Skywwd:''' For now. Get out of here, Circe. Run!
: '''Circe:''' I'm not leaving you guys.
: '''Skywwd:''' You can pass as human. Go-- Before Providence gets you too.
: '''Black Pawn:''' The girl! She's with them!
: '''Skwwyd:''' Run!
: '''Rex:''' Hmm? What's up?
: '''Circe:''' You're the only person I could turn to.
: '''Rex:''' Circe?
: '''Circe:''' I don't know. That's the hardest part.
: '''Rex:''' You did what you had to do.
: '''Circe:''' I left them there, Rex. Our friends. Providence has to be stopped. Someone needs to do something.
: '''Rex:''' ''[puts his arms around Circe to comfort her]'' We are.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Am I disturbing you two?
: '''Rex:''' No.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' White Knight wants to talk with you.
: '''Rex:''' Ugh. What's he gonna yell at me for this time?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' No, I meant Circe. He wants to talk to her.
: '''Circe:''' Providence has been hunting these down, too?
: '''White Knight:''' You didn't tell her about them, Rex?
: '''Rex:''' I thought the Master Control Nanites were supposed to be top secret.
: '''White Knight:''' She has to know if she's going to lead the mission.
: '''Rex:''' Her? That was supposed to be my mission.
: '''White Knight:''' It's no one's mission. It's about getting the job done.
: '''Circe:''' Why me?
: '''White Knight:''' Intelligence indicates that Providence has targeted a Master Control Nanite in Abysus. In Van Kleiss' old castle, to be more precise. You're the only one with the knowledge to get us in there.
: '''Rex:''' I've been there before. How hard could it be? Circe, you don't have to.
: '''Circe:''' If it helps stop Black Knight in Providence, I'm in.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, Doc. We made it. The new power suit gave me more range, just like you said.
: ''[Circe whistles]''
: '''Circe:''' Thanks, Banak. We're trying to keep a low profile. Don't tell anyone, okay?
: '''Rex:''' Good thing you knew the secret whistle or we might have been rooting around forever.
: ''[Rex chuckles]''
: '''Rex:''' Get it? &quot;Root&quot;? Uh... This can't be easy coming back here. I owe you.
: '''Circe:''' Forget it. We're even. I used you in the past, now you and your friends are using me.
: '''Rex:''' Is there some sort of problem between you and me?
: '''Circe:''' There's nothing between you and me. Just the mission. I don't have good memories of this place. Let's just leave it at that, okay?
: '''Rex:''' Fine. I'm surprised we haven't run into-- Ugh!
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Skalamander:''' Traitor! Stop her!
: '''Circe:''' Aah!
: '''Rex:''' Can you chill?! There's no time for this. Who's leading you now that Van Kleiss is gone? I need to speak to your leader. Figures. Biowolf, we have a problem. And... I need your help.
: '''Biowulf:''' I will listen.
: '''Rex:''' Great, because--
: '''Biowulf:''' Only after you. earn the right-- Through combat.
: ''[Biowulf growls]''
: ''[Rex spits]''
: '''Rex:''' At least Van Kleiss was civilized. Buckle up, dog boy.
: '''Biowulf:''' You may speak. This nanite you want-- It's not here. None of us have seen it up in the castle or the blast source.
: '''Rex:''' I didn't say up. It's down. White Knight thinks it's under the castle. Some other secure lab area.
: '''Biowulf:''' The primary chamber?
: '''Circe:''' It's under the castle? Van Kleiss always said it was forbidden for us to go there.
: '''Rex:''' You think he remembered to tell Black Knight that? Let me take it out of here.
: '''Biowulf:''' No! You're a traitor to your own kind. A lapdog to these humans. I've heard enough!
: '''Rex:''' All of us will fall-- All EVOs-- If she gets it. Black Knight is worse than you know. If I don't get the nanite out of here, Providence will take it.
: '''Biowulf:''' Providence! This is Abysus, the heart of the EVO world. Providence wouldn't dare.
: '''Circe:''' The sentries have spotted something.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. I wonder who.
: '''Providence Soldier:''' Black Knight, the assault forces are in place.
: '''Black Knight:''' The field is yours. We've secured the borders. No chance White Knight and his team will get in the country to interfere.
: '''Biowulf:''' The castle is surrounded.
: '''Rex:''' Standard operating procedure for Providence is to secure the perimeter, then close for attack. Black Knight will have snuck forces around back.
: '''Skalamander:''' How should we counter?
: '''Rex:''' Easy.
: '''Biowulf:''' You take your nanite. I'll decide how to deal with the invaders.
: '''Black Pawn:''' Deploy the collars. Rise. Forward. Attack.
: '''Rex:''' The nanite event blew away half the castle. This must have been deep enough to survive it. Huh? You hear that?
: '''Circe:''' No. Hear what?
: '''Rex:''' Uh... Nothing. This place would make a great rec room. Maybe a karaoke machine over there--
: '''Circe:''' Van Kleiss would send volunteers down here to try and get in. None of them ever came back.
: '''Rex:''' Well... That's encouraging.
: '''Circe:''' What is it?
: '''Rex:''' They're... I-I think they're nanites. They're following our lights. They can't see in the dark. I have a plan. Lead them back.
: '''Circe:''' ''[concerned]'' Rex?
: '''Rex:''' When I say &quot;roll,&quot; roll.
: '''Circe:''' What?!
: '''Rex:''' Roll! Circe, sing!
: ''[Circe uses her ultrasonic blasts on the EVOs and beams at Rex.]''
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Rex:''' We always made a good team.
: '''Circe:''' It won't hold them long.
: '''Rex:''' You think this is why Van Kleiss always wanted me-- So I could get him in here?
: '''Biowulf:''' Providence has breached the castle. We can't hold our position much longer.
: '''Rex:''' Go. I'll get the Master-Control Nanite. ''[Notices how worried Circe is about him probably not returning]'' This isn't Hong Kong. I'll be okay. I'll meet up with you soon.
: '''Biowulf:''' They've turned our own people against us.
: '''Circe:''' Let me see what I can do.
: ''[Circe uses her ultrasonic bursts on several collared EVOs]''.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: ''[Circe gasping]''
: '''Circe:''' So many.
: '''Biowulf:''' You can't stop the ones they've collared.
: '''Circe:''' I can go down trying.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Black Pawn:''' Her sonics are disrupting the offensive.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Black Pawn:''' Hyah! Unh!
: '''Biowulf:''' If we can't defeat them, we'll take down as many as we can fighting.
: '''Circe:''' This isn't one battle. It's a war. And we can't let it end here before Rex has the Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Biowulf:''' What, then?
: '''Circe:''' Tactical retreat.
: ''[Circe whistles]''
: '''Rex:''' Huh. Dad.
: '''Providence Soldier:''' Outer rooms of the castle secured.
: '''Black Pawn:''' I don't need you here, Black Knight. It's only a matter of time. We will take the castle piece by piece.
: ''[Skalamander growling]''
: '''Black Pawn:''' You are ours now. Down.
: ''[Skalamander grunting]''
: '''Skalamander:''' Rex is here. He will make you bow to us!
: '''Black Knight:''' This is all a diversion. Find Rex before he gets the Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Black Pawn:''' Yes, Ma'am.
: '''Black Knight:''' Either you do it or I will. I'm on my way.
: '''Rex:''' This place... Rylander had the same type of lab.
: '''Soldier:''' Security system engaged.
: '''Rex:''' No!
: '''Soldier:''' Intruder. Provide authorized identity or be terminated. Identify. Identify. Identify. Identify.
: '''Rex:''' Aah! I'm Rex! Rex Salazar!
: '''Soldier:''' Salazar genetype-- Accepted.
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex:''' There you are, you little troublemaker. You're coming home with the good guys. Uhh. Weird. Uh... I don't suppose you're looking for the karaoke machine? Running into you-- What a coincidence. Come down here a lot? Whoa! Missed me.
: '''Black Pawn:''' I have the nanite. Keep the boy busy while I get it to Black Knight.
: '''Rex:''' No!
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Rex:''' You two sure know how to make an entrance.
: '''Circe:''' The others are getting hammered by Provindence. They're barely holding them off in the dungeon.
: '''Rex:''' Gee! Van Kleiss has a dungeon. What a surprise.
: '''Biowulf:''' This is no joke. They might die because I came down here to save you.
: '''Rex:''' I won't let them get taken. I promise you that. But I need you to let me call the shots.
: ''[Biowulf sighs]''
: '''Biowulf:''' Very well.
: '''Rex:''' Circ, dungeon left or right?
: '''Circe:''' Left. The dungeon's the other way.
: '''Rex:''' I'm not looking for the dungeon. I'm looking for the scouts. : '''Black Pawn:''' Nothing.
: '''Rex:''' Well, maybe a little something.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Rex:''' Scouts. Classic Providence tactics-- So they don't get ambushed. Uhh. What is this place?
: '''Biowulf:''' The old reservoir. It goes to the river.
: '''Rex:''' Perfect. ''[deep voice]'' Scout to command. West wing, reservoir-- We've found a back way onto what must be the main EVO force. It's five times the size of what you're fighting.
: '''Black Pawn:''' Roger, scout. All forces, withdraw from dungeon siege. Report to west wing, reservoir. Ambush maneuver lambda.
: '''Rex:''' ''[normal voice]'' Get your troops. It's bath time.
: '''Biowulf:''' Now you bow to Rex!
: '''Rex:''' The Providence goons are contained, Biowulf. They shouldn't be any more trouble. And I got the Master-Control Nanite. Looks like mission accomplished.
: '''Circe:''' Rex, I--
: ''[She and Rex cling to each other as the castle begins shaking.]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Rex, order your friends to surrender. You're all under Providence custody. I always knew it might be impossible to capture the Master-Control Nanite in the heart of the nanite infestation. So the solution was to remove it.
: '''Circe:''' It's Hong Kong all over again.
: '''Rex:''' No. We can fight. We'll double back and-- A-and then--
: '''Biowulf:''' Go! Get the nanite out of here!
: '''Rex:''' No! I promised you!
: '''Biowulf:''' You were right. That nanite is more important than anyone here. Including myself. I am the leader. I give the orders. Run!
: ''[Rex panting]''
: '''Rex:''' They were counting on me. I don't want to leave them.
: '''Circe:''' I did what I had to do. You do what you have to. I want you to know, all this was never about me just using you.
: ''[Circe gasps]''
: ''[Finally admits her true romantic feelings for Rex in the form of a passionate kiss. She then pushes a shocked Rex off the ledge, so he could escape; and her getting collared and captured in his stead. She smiled with tears in her eyes, with the promise that she would be okay.]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' ''[burdened by Circe admitting her intense love for him and sacrifice]'' We all make sacrifices for the things we care about-- The people we love. But when the stakes are this high, who can we trust? What would that power do to anyone who had it? They attacked Abysus. What's stopping them from attacking us for these nanites?
: '''White Knight:''' They will-- Sooner or later. That's why I want to turn the tables on them first.
: '''Rex:''' You know how to do that so we survive in one piece?
: '''White Knight:''' Not yet.

===Remote Control===
: '''Cricket:''' If you think we're going to thank you for getting us out of there, Quarry...
: '''Quarry:''' I think you're going to do exactly as I say.
: (''Activates the mind-control collar on her neck'')
: '''Cricket:''' AH!!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Cricket, it's me! Rex! Used to a crush on me!?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Let them go. They'll lead us straight to Quarry.
: '''Cricket:''' &quot;Used to have a crush&quot;?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Cricket:''' You know how collared E.V.O.s follow kind of like a robot. with these collars, it's worse. It's like you're a remote-controlled robot.
: '''Rex:''' That is a nasty hack.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' Your friends are very valuable to me as are you.
: '''Rex:''' Like the new look- strapping.
: '''Quarry:''' Let's just say I had to find a way to &quot;keep it together&quot; after my visit to Abyuss. Just one more thing you owe me for and you know how much I like a balanced book.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' You'll be the crown jewel of my E.V.O. army, Rex. I may just make you my own personal slave.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' That collar suits you, Rex. Wish I had one for you back in the old days. Would've saved me a lot of trouble.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' The arcade- all those kids.
: '''Quarry:''' those brats were born to play games, which is what they think their doing. And I have your people to thank for the tech. That brother of yours is quite the wiz kid.
: '''Rex:''' Caesar would never...
: '''Cricket:''' Forget about Caesar, Rex! You know what you got to do!
: '''Rex:''' These guys will shred you if I leave!
: '''Tuck:''' We got this, Rex! Go!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' Consider the fact that you made me like this while I'm crushing you.

===A Brief History of Time===
: '''Van Kleiss:''' 4.000 years from my destination, and I've run out of of time. I've scarcely completed the vessel which shall deliver me to my own era. Gharun-Set, activate the traps-- Quickly! My greatest creation-- So useful to me, but too dangerous to roam free. If only I had time to destroy him, as I should. But I have a more pressing death I must prevent. My own. AAAAAAAAAAAH!
: '''Rex:''' Kind of defeating the whole stealth element of a stealth suit, Bobo.
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, now was I supposed to know that ghanoush went bad?
: '''Rex:''' Maybe because you found it in a garbage can.
: '''Bobo:''' On top of a garbage can.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Holiday to Rex. Are you at the site?
: '''Rex:''' There is not site, remember? Black Knight blew the pace to kingdom come.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Yet it's still guarded. And thanks to the data you stole from Providence, we know why.
: '''Rex:''' Van Kleiss back in time? I still find it hard to believe.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You were sent six months into the future, Rex. It stands to reason that the reverse is possible.
: '''Rex:''' Well, if you expect to find him here, maybe we should check the mummy museum. We're sensing nanites-- Definitely V.K.'s. They've been dead a long time.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Over 4,000 years. I'm also detecting tachyons-- Quantum particles that travel in time. I think it's clear what he was making.
: '''Bobo:''' A latrine?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' A time machine.
: '''Rex:''' No way he pulled it off! If mister ego made it back to here and now, we'd know about it.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Some of these nanites are considerably younger. That means he was there in two different time periods.
: '''Rex:''' Time travel gives me a headache. Just tell me-- Where is he now?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' The more accurate question is, when is he?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' AAAAAAH!
: ''[Van Kleiss gasping]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh! The ordeal is... draining. But now, back in my own time, I can replenish my nanite reserves and--
: '''Gladiator #1:''' Quis es tu?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I recognize the language, of course-- Classical latin. Qui-- Q-Qui annus est?
: '''Gladiator #1:''' What year is it? You dare question a captain of the imperial guard? Aegyptus is a roman Providence! Answer! Who are you?
: '''Gladiator #2:''' Don't bother-- He's clearly sun-mad.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' The dialect, the dress-- This is the second century A.D. A mere 2,000 years has passed. I'm only halfway home!
: '''Gladiator #1:''' Another escaped slave. Finish him and be done with it.
: ''[Gladiator #2 grunts]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It was all the fight I could muster. I had no way to replace the nanites I'd spent in the journey, and my gauntlet had yet to recharge those that remained.
: '''Gladiator #2:''' This one shows spirit. He'll bring a good price in the arena.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' OOMPH!
: ''[Van Kleiss groans]''
: '''Gladiator #2:''' Save your strength.
: '''Gladiator #3:''' Where you're going, you'll need it.
: ''[Van Kleiss slurps]''
: ''[Van Kleiss gulps]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I intend to. Of the mysterious force, there is no sign. Yet I sense it is close-- Pursuing me even across the centuries. I am convinced it is a manifestation of time itself. My presence is a violation of physics-- An imbalance which the time stream seeks to correct... By wiping me from existence. But of this, I am certain-- If I do not return to my own time, it will surely destroy me.
: '''Gladiator #1:''' You are fortunate, slave. To die in the arena is a great honor.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' An honor I look forward to bestowing.
: ''[Gladiator #1 laughs]''
: '''Gladiator #1:''' You see? Spirit!
: ''[Van Kleiss groans]''
: '''Gladiator #3:''' Put on a good show, little man, and I promise to make your end a painless one.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Indeed?
: ''[Gladiator #3 grunts]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I, on the other hand, make no such promise.
: ''[Gladiator #3 grunting]''
: ''[Van Kleiss grunting]''
: '''Gladiator #3:''' AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
: ''[Gladiator #3 groans]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' One against so many? Hardly seems fair. For them.
: '''Gladiator #4:''' ARRRGHHHH!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ordinarily, I'd say &quot;take me to your leader,&quot; but I believe he's already here.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Great warrior... Never have I seen such a battle. I am...
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Septimius Severus, 21st emperor of Rome, founder of the severan dynasty. And, as I recall, you poisoned your own commanding officer to get his position... And wear only boots to conceal a prodigious clubfoot.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Are you a man... Or a God?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I find both labels rather limiting. Now, then, you are going to give me whatever I require, starting with a quiet place to work. I, in return, shall ensure the growth and security of your reign as emperor. You may call me Van Kleiss.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Whatever your desire, great Vanklios.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Actually, it's... Got a rather nice ring.
: '''Rex:''' What's with this guy? Gets a portrait done in every time period?
: '''Bobo:''' Mm. ''[muffled]'' Truly a nutjob for the ages. Mm. Speaking of nuts... Want some?
: '''Rex:''' You've been dumpster-diving again?
: '''Bobo:''' I prefer &quot;foraging.&quot;
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. Nice sleuthing there, doc.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Nanites decay at a measurable half-life. I set our sat-net to do a global scan for the same frequency-- Ergo, Rome.
: '''Rex:''' Great. You scan for the next stop, we'll grab a pizza.
: '''Bobo:''' Pass. I'm experiencing inexpicable gastric distress.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, it would take months to scan the entire spectrum. You need to find the next decay frequency.
: '''Rex:''' Kind of like nanite connect-the-dots! Can I do it with someone else?
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, quiet, you! Rah!
: '''Rex:''' This goose chase just got a little wilder. My brother's here.
: '''Caesar:''' Caesar to Black. We've detected paleo-nanites. Tachyon readings negative. We're moving to the next hot stop.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Tachyons-- They want Van Kleiss' time machine. Follow them.
: '''Rex:''' Come on.
: '''Bobo:''' Can you give me a teeny sec? I gotta find the little gladiators' room.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Advances in the last two millenia have allowed me to complete my lab in weeks instead of months. Restrict the flow! Do you want to overload the power cells? Meanwhile, my own nanite supply continues to dwindle.
: ''[Septimius Severus panting]''
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Great Vanklios, protect me!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I've divulged metallurgy and tactics beyond your day. No man may threaten your rule. : '''Septimius Severus:''' This is no man... But an apparition!
: ''[Septimius Severus grunts]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' What apparition? Speak, parasite!
: '''Septimius Severus:''' A spirit of doom! Numerous sightings-- The insulare, the rostra, the forum. Listen! It comes! It comes!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Fool. It only wants me.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Ugh!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I release you. Go start a few legends.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
: ''[Septimius Severus gasps]''
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Be gone! I beg of you! Aah!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, those stress lines-- It's the same pattern we saw in Egypt.
: '''Black Knight:''' Report.
: '''Caesar:''' These aqueducts are truly marvels of roman engineering.
: '''Black Knight:''' Have you picked up the next decay frequency?
: '''Caesar:''' Oh-- That. Yes. Uplinking to our global net. Odd. These tachyons seems unrelated to--
: '''Black Knight:''' We have the next target. Scandinavia. Move out. White Knight may have people on the trail. I expect you to do whatever it takes to procure the objective.
: '''Rex:''' Shh!
: '''Caesar:''' I've initiated the same steps as in Egypt! Come along.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, we need that decay frequency.
: '''Rex:''' Just one small problem, doc. This place... is toast.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex? Bobo? Respond!
: '''Rex:''' We're okay, doc. Not a mark on us.
: '''Bobo:''' Same can't be said for my stealth suit. Whoa!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: ''[Rex and Bobo gasps]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' So many lives... It's become a blur. I don't know who I am anymore. Only that I must sail onward, ever onwoard down the river of time. Never resting, always moving. Further draining my nanite reserves beyond my ability to replenish. And each re-emergence, I am pursued by the nameless force. I now know it's personal. I am a virus-- An infection of space-time. Call it what you like. This is time's antibody. Whether I can borne home or drowned in its currents, this is my final journey.
: '''Rex:''' Hurry! I'm not sure if we here followed.
: '''Bobo:''' I'm sure.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Don't shoot! It's me.
: '''Rex:''' Holiday? Shouldn't you be at the plant, connecting the dots?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' No more dots to connect. The trail ends here. And... I'm reading a humanoid form inside.
: '''Rex:''' I'm confused. Is it a time machine or isn't it?
: '''Caesar:''' It's not a time machine. Are those really necessary?
: '''Rex:''' No way you're getting this time machine, bro!
: '''Caesar:''' I don't want it. And it's not a time machine.
: '''Bobo:''' Well, then, what is it? A meat locker for cold cuts?
: '''Caesar:''' Surprisingly close. We use this technique to transfer unstable nanites. It puts them into a state of dormancy.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Of course. It's a hibernation chamber.
: '''Caesar:''' Only his nanites were dormant. There would still be neuron flow.
: '''Rex:''' Mind telling me what that means, exactly?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' He was... Aware. The whole time, for hundreds of years.
: '''Caesar:''' He would have felt every minute pass.
: '''Rex:''' No way! He's totally a mummy!
: '''Rex and Bobo:''' Wah!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Run! It's coming! It's coming?!
: '''Rex and Bobo:''' Wah!
: '''Rex:''' Easy, easy, Van Kleiss. You're back-- Back in your own time.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' No! No, it'll find me! It always does! You must protect me.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Tachyon readings off the chart! Rex, you can't affect that thing. I don't know what can.
: '''Caesar:''' It's a field of pure tachyons. I've got to get a sample.
: '''Rex:''' Oh, no, you don't!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I'm back! Back in my own time! You shall not have me?! OHHHH!
: '''Bobo:''' Settle down, Van Winkle.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex shudders]''
: '''Rex:''' Oh, no. It couldn't be. I need some way to contain it!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Tachyons can't be contained!
: '''Caesar:''' Yes, they can. Rex!
: ''[Caesar grunts]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, it's too risky!
: '''Rex:''' But I know what this is. Correction-- I know who this is.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex:''' Aah!
: ''[Rex groaning]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' It's... Breach.
: '''Rex:''' Breach. Breach! It's me-- Rex.
: '''Breach:''' Rex? Are you real... Or a dream?
: ''[Rex laughs]''
: '''Rex:''' Yeah, yeah, I'm-- I'm real.
: '''Breach:''' I was everywhere-- Everywhen. But I was nothing-- An emptiness, needing to be filled.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' The amp pack. Van Kleiss controlled it. When his nanites were active, Breach was drawn into his timeframe.
: ''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
: '''Caesar:''' The final joining would have destroyed them both.
: '''Breach:''' Guess I should say thanks.
: '''Rex:''' Hey, what are friends for? Um, we are still friends... Right?
: '''Caesar:''' You did well, little bro.
: '''Rex:''' And you have your time machine that... isn't a time machine. Everybody goes home happy.
: '''Caesar:''' That? A curiosity-- True. But it was never our goal.
: ''[Van Kleiss shivering]''
: ''[Van Kleiss chuckles]''
: '''Rex:''' Van Kleiss?! All this for him? what, they're gonna put him in jail?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' It's Providence, Rex. That's their jurisdiction.
: '''Caesar:''' No need to worry, little brother. He's going to be well supervised.
: '''Rex:''' Caesar, what is going on!?
: '''Caesar:''' Justice.
: '''Bobo:''' Two words-- Crème Brûlée. Ooh. Right after I make a french connection.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Welcome back, Van Kleiss. You look terrible. Ordinarily, I'd say get some rest, but you've had enough of that, I suppose.
: ''[Van Kleiss chuckles]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Pull it together. We have work to do. Do you know who I am?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Yes. I know who you are. It's been a long time. A very, very long time.

===Mind Games===
: '''Rex''': Yeah, I wouldn't be so sure of that.
: '''Six''': I told you not to get involved, Rex. You're not at full strength.
: '''Rex''': What was I supposed to do-- Just leave it?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Six has a point, Rex. You're pushed to the edge lately. You can't see everyone.
: '''Rex''': Not listening! Don't worry, dude. I'll have you out of here before you can say... Circe?!
: '''Circe''': Hey, Rex. Rex! Aaaah!
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Rex! Rex, do you read? What's going on? Your bios are low.
: '''Rex''': Leave her alone! You okay? 
: '''Circe''': I think so. We have to go.
: '''Rex''': Think that's your cue. Hang on. I think I got it. Ow! Hate this things.
: '''Circe''': Try wearing one.
: '''Rex''': I have. So, what happened? I thought Providence had you at Abysus.
: '''Circe''': I got away.
: '''Rex''': What about the Pack?
: '''Circe''': The Pack? I... don't know. Things are bad out there, Rex. I've been on the run for weeks. Providence has been stepping up their capture orders. I think something big is going down.
: '''Rex''': Tell me about it. Listen, I know we're gonna want to say no, but with everything that's going on...
: '''Circe''': I should stay at the plant. It's safer, right?
: '''Rex''': Wow, that was... easy. I had a whole speech and everything.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Well, everything checks out. You're the picture of health. I wish you'd let me do some more thorough scans, through.
: '''Six''': How was it you said you got away?
: '''Circe''': It's a long story. You guys have bigger things to worry about than me... like the Meta-Nanites. Did you get the one from Abysus? Have you found anymore?
: '''Rex''': Ugh, who cares? Let's go do something fun. You want to put Bobo' hand in shaving cream?
: ''[Circe yawns]''
: '''Circe''': Actually, Rex, I'm kind of tired. I thing I might just crash if that's cool.
: '''Rex''': Oh... yeah. Stupid of me. You, uh, get some sleep. Hey, doc. What are you doing?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Rex. I was just... working. What are you doing up?
: '''Rex''': Ah, it's... stupid.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Yeah, probably. But... go ahead.
: '''Rex''': I'm... excited. Since I got breached, everything's been so crazy.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Since you got breached? Right.
: '''Rex''': But with Circe back, I'm starting to think maybe things will turn out okay.
: '''White Knight''': I need everyone in the situation room in five minutes.
: '''Rex''': So much for that.
: ''[Dr. Holiday yawns]''
: '''Dr. Holiday''': What'd I miss?
: '''Rex''': Wow, Doc. You sure got comfy quick.
: '''White Knight''': Listen up, people. We need to retrieve a valuable asset before it falls into enemy hands.
: '''Six''': What's the objective?
: '''White Knight''': This man... Dr. Peter Meechum.
: '''Rex''': That guy? I remember him. Van crazy kiddnaped his daughter.
: '''White Knight''': Meechum spent the last year at a safehouse facility... Codename: Pandora's Box... location know only to me.
: '''Rex''': Why all the cloak and dagger?
: '''White Knight''': Because Meechum was one of the original scientists on the Nanite Project. He was given a panic button in case of emergency. Thirty minutes ago-- He activated it.
: '''Six''': Providence?
: '''White Knight''': We have to assume they're trying to assemble the original members of the Nanite Project. What Meechum knows is too valuable to fall into the wrong hands, so go get him.
: '''Six''': Maybe Circe should stay here.
: '''Rex''': What? Why?
: '''Six''': She's not on the team yet-- Not officialy.
: '''White Knight''': Take her. She'll be useful in the field.
: '''Rex''': Ahem. You guys forget you key? Did you check under the mat?
: '''Six''': Rex, focus on the mission. Get to Meechum!
: '''Rex''': Relax, Six. I could take these guys in my sleep, especially with help from... Huh? Circe? Uh... Time-out?
: '''Six''': Peter Meechum, you need to come with us.
: ''[Dr. Meechum scoffs]''
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Took you long enough.
: '''Rex''': Time in.
: '''White Knight''': Still no sign of Circe, Rex. We'll keep looking, but for right now, Meechum is our top priority.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': We'll find her, Rex. Don't worry.
: '''White Knight''': In the meantime, Dr. Meechum, I've checked, and your daughter is safe at her boarding school in England.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': My daughter. Right.
: '''White Knight''': We can make immediate arrangements to take you to her.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': No, I'd rather stay with you if that's all right. It's, uh-- It's safer.
: '''White Knight''': Of course. White Knight out.
: '''Rex''': So, after that, Providence attacked Abysus to get the Master-Control Nanite. Guess you were next on their list.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': I see. And all this happened in the last year?
: '''Six''': You've missed a lot since you've been away, doctor.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Horrible. I could never work for a Providence like that. I have to say it's all very impressive. Providence has certainly done a lot in the last year.
: '''Caesar''': And with your help, doctor, we can do more.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Where's White Knight? I should tell him I've arrived.
: '''Black Knight''': I can answer that for you. It's good to have you back, doctor.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': What happened to White?
: '''Black Knight''': Just a routine change in command. Nothing to worry about. If you'll excuse me, gentlemen.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Tell me you have my money ready.
: '''Black Knight''': You get away you want when I get what I want... Not before.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Relax.
: '''Six''': I'm a professional, aren't I?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Six, see Meechum? I have some data I'd like to go over with him. Are you... okay?
: '''Six''': Rebecca, I have something important to tell you.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Okay. Well... Thanks for tell me.
: '''Six''': Rex, are you in here? I do not understand this show.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Am I interrupting?
: '''Six''': Not at all. What can I do for you?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Nothing important. I just wanted to say... earlier... that was nice. Unexpected but nice. 
: '''Six''': Earlier?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': In the lab?
: '''Six''': I have no idea what you're talking about.
: ''[Dr. Holiday scoffs]''
: '''Rex''': Six, I need to talk to you about Circe. Uh... Six? Earth to agent guy. You okay?
: '''Six''': I'm fine. I've just decided not to waste any more time on you, Rex.
: '''Rex''': Um... Is this because I accidentaly used your swords to slice a pizza?
: '''Six''': It's because you're weak. You don't have what it takes to complete the mission.
: '''Rex''': Ohh, I get it. This is one of your test, right?
: '''Six''': No test. Just me coming to my senses. You're not strong enough to survive what's coming. In the end, you're gonna let us all down.
: ''[Dr. Holiday crying]''
: '''Rex''': Doc? What's wrong?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': ''[Sobbing]'' I-It's nothing, Rex. I didn't want you to see me like this.
: '''Rex''': Well, what is it?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': ''[Sobbing]'' It's Six. I'm afraid of him.
: '''Rex''': What?! That's crazy talk.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': ''[Sobbing]'' Is it? You have to have seen it. He's violent, on edge. He's losing control.
: '''Rex''': Are we talking about the same Six?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': We don't even known him. He was a killer, Rex. The old Six might have changed, but how do we know this Six didn't come back... Wrong?
: ''[Dr. Meechum whistling]''
: '''Dr. Meechum''': I have a question. How do you plan to re-create the project without a bio-interface expert?
: '''Caesar''': Oh, but we do have one.
: '''Van Kleiss''': No! The string doesn't work. Gordian knot, tied up tight. Alexander cheated. Can't cheat. Eyes on your own paper! Peter? No! Can't be! Different time, different me.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Van Kleiss? You brought back that monster?
: '''Caesar''': Of course. He was the original interface programmer. Who better?
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Excuse me a moment. White, what the heck is going on?!
: '''White Knight''': Peter? Where are you?
: '''Dr. Meechum''': I'm at Providence. Where are you?
: '''White Knight''': Providence. But that's not-- I have to go. We have a problem.
: '''Rex''': You're darn right we have a problem, because this isn't Peter Meechum!
: ''[Dr. Meechum laughing maniacally]''
: '''Scarecrow''': Heya, Rex. Miss me?
: '''Rex''': Who are you? Where's Meechum?
: '''White Knight''': His name's John Scarecrow. He's an EVO, specialist in infiltration. Black Knight played us.
: '''Scarecrow''': You really don't remember me, Rex? I'll give you a hint. We used to share a stomping ground. We had a problem with a shapes hifter once.
: '''Rex''': You were in Hong Kong.
: '''Scarecrow''': Give the man a prize.
: ''[Scarecrow laughs]''
: '''Six''': I think he went that way.
: '''Rex''': Wait a minute.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: ''[Scarecrow laughs]''
: '''Rex''': I cannot believe I fell for that.
: '''Scarecrow''': Look at you. You're ridiculous. You think he'll come to his senses, realize his true feelings? Then what? You'll settle down. White picket fence. Little agent kids. You're fooling yourself. You're the worst of them... you know that?... Because you know better. You really think you can save the world? None of you can survive what's coming!
: '''Rex''': Prove it's really you. What's my favorite color?
: '''Six''': I have no idea.
: '''Rex''': It's you, all right.
: ''[Dr. Holiday screaming]''
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Put it away. I'm not the EVO.
: '''Six''': We heard you scream.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': That wasn't me.
: '''Six''': Let's all calm down. We can figure this out.
: '''Rex''': Why, Six? Because I'm weak? You don't think I can handle this?
: '''Six''': I never said that.
: '''Rex''': But you think it, right? I don't see you putting down your guns, doc.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': I know it's not me. I'm not sure about you two.
: ''[Scarecrow laughs]''
: '''Scarecrow''': So easy. I barely had to nudge you.
: '''Rex''': Whatever you're after, you're not getting away with it.
: '''Scarecrow''': Get away with it?! Re-e-e-x, I got what I needed in the first five minutes.
: '''Rex''': Then why? Why do all this?
: '''Scarecrow''': Simple. I wanted to do to you what you did to me.
: '''Rex''': I'm done with you!
: ''[Scarecrow groans]''
: '''Scarecrow''': The big hero. Why do you get to forget? It's not fair!
: '''Rex''': Whine, whine, whine. What... you didn't get enough crazy hugs as a kid?
: '''Scarecrow''': You think I'm the only one you hurt? Then tell me--
: '''Skwydd''': What about us? Why'd you betray me? 
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Circe:''' You promised to protect me, Rex. Where were you?
: '''Rex:''' Stop it!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: ''[Rex breathing heavily]''
: '''Caesar''': Face it, bro. It's why I left you. Mom and dad, too.
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex''': You're your own worst enemy.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': That's for Rex. That's for Providence. And that was for the kiss.
: '''White Knight''': Providence won this round. No question.
: '''Rex''': They have the real Meechum. Maybe more.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': There's no telling how much of our system Scarecrow uploaded.
: '''Six''': But we have to assume they know everything we do.
: ''[Scarecrow laughs evilly]''
: '''White Knight''': Black Knight is coming for us. It's just a matter of time.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': So? I mean, we knew that. Nothing's changed, right?
: '''Six''': Rex, this is what they wanted-- To turn us against each other.
: '''Rex''': Yeah, and look how easy it was. We thought we were a team, but we're not. We're vulnerable.
: '''Van Kleiss''': It's Heisenberg's uncertainty principle. Looking past Occam's Razor, we can clearly see to a quantum level. A quantum level is what I'm trying to achieve, because if I didn't do the quantum level, then I can understand what's happening.
: '''Caesar''': I know you don't like this, but it's not about us.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Can you do it? Can you control him?
: '''Caesar''': Leave Van Kleiss to me.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': What about Black Knight? I don't like her, Salazar. Never did.
: '''Caesar''': Trust me, Peter-- When we're finished, the end will justify the means.

===Hermanos===
:'''Rex Salazar''': WH-O-O-O-OA! Unh! Ugh!
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Agent Six''': Be careful, Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm touched by your concern, Six.
:'''Agent Six''': It's not for you. We don't have Providence to pick up the tab anymore. You break it, you buy it.
:''[Rex growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm saving the day here. What are they gonna do--Sue me? Oh, come on! It was a rhetorical question! What was I supposed to do? The whole building was made of glass!
:'''Lawyer''': ''[Hispanic accent]'' Glass? What are you talking about?
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm... not talking about anything. What are you talking about?
:'''Lawyer''': Mr. Salazar, I'm an associate at the stateside branch of the Argentinean firm Gomez and Gomez. And today, sir, is your lucky day!
:'''Rex Salazar''': What's this?
:'''Lawyer''': It's yours!
:'''Noah Nixon''': No away! This is your house?
:'''Rex Salazar''': I know! According to the lawyer guy, this rancho in Argentina's been in my family forever. And ever since my parents died in the event, those lawyers have been trying to track down the heir. And guess who that is.
:'''Noah Nixon''': You and your brother?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, yeah, right. Him too.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Not a good time, Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Dude, it's never a good time, but you go to-- O...kay, so maybe this really isn't a good time, but this is important. I was being chased by a lawyer. No, I wasn't being sued this time. But you'll never guess what he--
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Is this about the rancho?
:'''Rex Salazar''': You know about it?
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Those lawyers have left me a dozen messages.
:'''Rex Salazar''': And you didn't tell me? Caesar, I never even knew we had this place! There might be photo albums, home movies-- I don't know-- maybe even an old teddy bear or something.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': You never had a teddy bear.
:'''Rex Salazar''': See, the fact that you know that and I don't-- that's why we need to go down there.
:'''Lawyer''': Clear!
:'''Caesar Salazar''': I can't, Rex. My work's already been interrupted once today. Although... Now that you mention the ranch, it does bring back some memories.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Really? Like what?
:'''Caesar Salazar''': There was an experiment I remember mom and dad running. If you could find the notes, it might save some time on the work I'm doing now.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Notes? Come on. Isn't family more important than-- Guess not.
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Why can't I have a normal brother? Know anything about cows? Thanks for coming with me. This is really a family thing, but my brother is, well-- My brother. 
:'''Noah Nixon''': Are you kidding? I'm psyched! I've been killing myself trying to find a birthday present for Claire. A vacation at my best friend's awesome ancestral estate? What other guy could offer her that?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, but then why bring Annie?
:'''Annie''': Um, this just kind of broke off.
:''[Annie, Claire and Noah screaming]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': AAAAAAH!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': I sure hope this isn't included in Six's &quot;You break it, you buy it&quot; policy.
:'''Annie''': Sorry.
:'''Rex Salazar''': No problem. We're here.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Are... you sure this is the place?
:'''Noah Nixon''': What happened to it?
:'''Annie''': Hey, don't look at me. I just got there.
:''[Annie gasps]''
:'''Annie''': Okay, that was me.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I guess this must be my... family.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Looks like you-- But with a 'stache.
:'''Annie''': I like you with a 'stache.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Hey, there are chickens in here!
:'''Annie''': And llamas!
:'''Noah Nixon''': Chicken, llamas-- And a funny-looking bull.
:''[Chiquito snorts]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': I-I-I take it back! You're not funny-looking!
:'''Chiquito''': This place is Durango's!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, actually--
:'''Chuquito''': No fancy talk! Just go!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Ugh! Okay, number one, how is &quot;actually&quot; fancy talk! Number two, I don't know who Durango is, but this farm isn't his. And number three--
:''[Chiquito grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Ugh! Ugh! All right, there's no misunderstanding the international language of getting punched in the face. So read my fist-- Get out of my house!
:'''Chiquito''': Durango will not be happy!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, don't know who that guy was, but problem solved.
:'''Noah Nixon''': Uh, you think? Aah!
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Senior Durango''': Calmate, Chiquito. You are my brother. I would not do anything to hurt mi hermano. Unless you force me to. I cannot lose that tract of land. Without its right of way, I will lose my claim on the rest of the county. But never mind. They will learn-- When you mess with the bull, you get the horns.
:'''Rex Salazar''': OHHH! Ugh!
:'''Noah Nixon''': A chicken just tried to poop on my shoe!
:'''Rex Salazar''': I think I can top you there.
:'''Noah Nixon''': No offense, but when I asked Claire to come here, this wasn't what I was hoping for.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, me either. I mean, I was thinking I'd find-- I don't know what. But everything in this place has been smashed or stolen. Maybe this whole family thing isn't for me.
:''[Noah gasps]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': That's the one!
:'''Claire Bowman''': Please, Noah. It just needed a little help laying an egg.
:'''Rex Salazar''': ''[Chuckling]'' What, did you grow up on a farm in Kansas?
:'''Claire Bowman''': An apartment in Chicago-- Which is where I learned to download videos onto my phone.
:'''Telephone Voice''': When caring for an egg bearing hen, remember to--
:'''Muchado''': Hola? Quien esta aquí?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Uh... hello?
:'''Muchado''': So, you are the Americans? I am Señor Muchado-- The juez.
:'''Claire Bowman''': That's like a judge?
:'''Muchado''': Sí. For all intents and purposes, I am the law in this county-- Which is why I have come here with him.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Good, because I definitely want to press charges.
:'''Muchado''': You misunderstand. I am here because of the trouble you caused for Chiquito.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Chiquito?
:''[Rex chuckles]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Your mom must have some sense of humor to name you &quot;Tiny&quot;.
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:'''Muchado''': Chiquito's brother is Señor Durango. He controls most of the land in this county, including this hacienda. At Señor Durango's request, I have prepared a legal order compelling you to vacate.
:'''Claire Bowman''': But this is Rex's farm.
:'''Annie''': Yeah, he's got a deed and everything.
:'''Muchado''': This might have some bearing-- If you were a Salazar.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, we're in luck. I am.
:'''Annie''': Maybe this will help.
:'''Muchado''': You may be a Salazar, but by our law, this land has been deemed abandoned, and Señor Durango has claimed it.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Sorry. Been sort of busy saving the world and stuff. But I'm here now, so consider his claim unclaimed, then reclaimed by me.
:'''Muchado''': It is not so simple. You would have to demonstrate you are actively maintaining the ranch. That means shearing and feeding the animals, bringing your bulls to market--
:'''Rex Salazar''': To market? What, like a... cattle drive?
:'''Claire Bowman''': No problem. We can totally figure out how to do that.
:'''Muchado''': A ranch this size requires at least a dozen hired men.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, just... uh...
:'''Muchado''': No one within 100 kilometers will help you cross Señor Durango. If you do this, you will do it alone. And you will fail.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Well, that guy was kind of a jerk.
:'''Annie''': Yeah. So, let's get to work.
:'''Noah Nixon''': How? Everything here is broken.
:'''Annie''': Uh, have you seen my house?
:'''Rex Salazar''': You guys don't have to do this.
:'''Claire Bowman''': What kind of friend would walk away now?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Uh... yeah! No way you could stop me from helping take care of these totally not-gross animals. 
:'''Rex Salazar''': Really?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Well, I'm smiling like that's what I mean, aren't?
:''[Noah exhales deeply]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': I can do this! I can't do this. Until I've done my milking warm-up.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Ugh. Hold this.
:'''Telephone Voice''': With you head resting on her flank, gently grasp the udder with the palm of your hand.
:'''Noah Nixon''': AAH!
:''[Claire giggles]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': I think she likes you.
:'''Noah Nixon''': Ugh!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': This is your home. Get in your home!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Whoa! AAAH! AAH! Ugh! This is hopeless! This farm only has one bull, and I can't even get it into the barn. And this... better just be mud.
:'''Annie''': Hang on! I'll help you!
:''[Annie gasps]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': No! Don't!
:'''Noah Nixon''': Are you guys okay?
:'''Claire Bowman''': What is it? A storm cellar?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Looks like some kind of lab.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Figures. My mom and dad were Caesar's parents, too. Of course they'd find a way to take work home with them. Probably where those notes Caesar wanted are. Might as well grab them before the judge kicks us out.
:'''Claire Bowman''': What's he talking about? I think we're doing a pretty good job taking care of the--
:'''Annie''': Uh, guys--
:''[Claire grunts]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': Wait-- Donkeys eat hay, don't they? Maybe we can use it to lure them back into the barn.
:'''Annie''': I got it! Ugh!
:''[Annie gasps]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': Well, on the plus side, at least we now know for sure that donkeys do eat hay.
:'''Rafael Salazar''': One day, these things are going to change the world, and you'll be there to see it.
:'''Violetta Salazar''': ''[chuckling]'' Caesar, please, mi hijo. Stop working for a minute and hold the camera.
:'''Young Caesar Salazar''': Okay! Okay!
:''[Claire sniffs]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': What's that smell?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Which one? Everything here smells.
:'''Claire Bowman''': No, it smells like... smoke!
:'''Annie''': Rex! The straw caught on fire, and it exploded!
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:'''Chiquito''': Hermano! No! Oomph!
:'''Senior Durango''': What were you thinking? I told you to smoke them out, not burn the land! This is my land! If you weren't my brother--
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:'''Senior Durango''': But you are. Come here.
:'''Rex Salazar''': So, you must be the brother. Hope I'm not interrupting some kind of weird tender moment.
:'''Senior Durango''': Soy Durango. And I hope there is still a chance we can reach a resonable agreement.
:'''Claire Bowman''': So, then you'll let Rex keep the farm? We played by the rules.
:'''Senior Durango''': Around here, I make the rules.
:'''Annie''': But the judge said--
:'''Senior Durango''': The judge works for me. Now, please, I'm giving you one last chance to leave.
:'''Noah Nixon''': Okay, sure! Oh, wait-- That's right. Your fire blew up what was left of our plane!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Uh, let me handle the trash-talking with the 20-foot-tall monster EVO, okay? Leave them out of this! They shouldn't even be here! It should have been my brother!
:'''Senior Durango''':  That is why you will lose your farm. Without family, a man is nothing. After all, what is this land to them?
:'''Rex Salazar''': I don't even know what this place is to me. I came here hoping to find out more about who my family is.
:''[Rex start looking at Noah, Claire and Annie, and smile to them]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': And I did. So, you're going to stop threatening them-- And me-- And get off my land.
:''[Durango snarls]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay. Here's the plan-- Stay behind me! Whoa! Ugh!
:'''Noah Nixon''': Well, there goes that plan.
:'''Senior Durango''': Hurt them. You can do that, can't you?
:'''Claire Bowman''': W-what do we do now?!
:'''Annie''': The only one of us with powers just got kicked to the curb.
:'''Noah Nixon''': That depends on what you mean by &quot;powers&quot;.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex muffled grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Not a good time, Caesar.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': I just wanted to tell you-- Forget about those notes. I realized that's not what's important about you going down there.
:''[Durango snarls]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Wow, Caesar. I can't believe you came around.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': I just realized-- The really important thing is, if you happen to find a termo-chronometer I remember having down there, it would save me from ordering one.
:''[Chiquito snarls]''
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:''[Chiquito snarls, roars]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': Ugh!
:''[Chiquito snorts]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:[''On videotape of the Salazar family]''
:'''Rafael Salazar''': One day these things are going to change the world and you'll be there to see it.
:'''Violetta Salazar''': Cesar, please miquito. Stop working for a minute and hold the camera.
:'''Young Caesar Salazar''': Okay, okay.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Noah Nixon''': This morning, I almost had to touch a cow's underparts. You think you can do me worse than that? Bring it.
:''[Chiquito snarls]''
:''[Chiquito roars]''
:'''Annie''': Ugh! I didn't mean for that to happen.
:'''Claire Bowman''': We did.
:'''Rex Salazar''': AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Ugh! AAAAAAAAAAARGH!
:'''Senior Durango''': OOMPH!
:''[Durango lows]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': WH-O-O-O-O-O-O O-OA!
:''[Durango lows]''
:''[Durango snorts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': AAAAAAAAH!
:''[Durango growls]''
:''[Durango growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Trust me-- My brother's let me down way worse. But what am I gonna do? He's my brother.
:'''Senior Durango''': It is over.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Nice ego there, but I've been hit a lot harder.
:''[Durango spits]''
:'''Senior Durango''': Those bells signal the market is ending soon. I can see you have yet to herd you cattle there.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, come on! The one cattle I've got doesn't even move!
:'''Senior Durango''': If you do not have your cattle to market before it ends, you will have failed to fulfill your deed, and this land will be mine.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Then I guess I don't have any time to waste talking about it.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Come on. Come here.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Forget it. I got this.
:'''Claire Bowman''': WHOO-HOO! Yes! Go, Rex!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': Where's Durango?
:'''Rex Salazar''': OWW! Come on! You don't move the whole time, and you can't stay still?
:''[Durango grunting]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': What is this, a western? You're actually trying to stop him with a rockslide?
:'''Senior Durango''': You? Here? How is that even possible?
:'''Telephone Voice''': Donkeys can be ridden surprinsingly fast if you--
:'''Noah Nixon''': Come on! Just give up! The farm belong to Rex. And I really want to get off this thing.
:'''Senior Durango''': You think I'm afraid of you ''[scoffs]'' boy?
:'''Claire Bowman''': Oh, it's not the boy you should be afraid of.
:'''Annie''': Oops.
:''[Durango grunting]''
:'''Senior Durango''': Ugh!
:''[Rex panting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': We sheared the llamas, we milked the cows, I got the bull to town. We did everything in the deed.
:'''Muchado''': Sí, sí. But more important, you faced Durango and won! Once the other ranchers hear of this, they won't be afraid. You have broken Durango's hold on our lands.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Wait-- You're... happy about that?
:'''Muchado''': Of course. I told you exactly what you had to do to legally gain control of the land, didn't I?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Huh. I guess you did.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Wow! Can you believe how you perfect this all worked out?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Yeah, uh, so, maybe we should get out of here before we wear out our welcome.
:'''Rex Salazar''': There's just one thing I want to do first.

===The Rescue===
:''Note'': Rex goes alone to rescue his girlfriend Circe from the clutches of Black Knight. but it turns out she has been waiting for him.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Alone Together===
:''Note'': Finally together at last, Rex and Circe reminiscence about their good and hard times together ans their romance begins to grow.
===Retribution===
===Temporary Insanity===

===Crime and Punishment===
:''Note:'' His false insanity revealed, Van Kleiss abducts Circe with the intent of punishing her for betraying him, due to her enduring love for Rex.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, Circe, you shall learn the ultimate price of betraying me.
:'''Rex:''' ''Leave her alone!!''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, Rex. For young love. One of your greatest weaknesses. After I finish off your beloved, you will no longer be a hindrance to me. 
:'''Rex''' (''enraged'')''':''' I ''said''...LEAVE HER ALONE!!!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Shadowed Past===

===Separation Anxiety===
===Brotherly Love===

===Rocky My World===
:'''Beverly:''' Oh, this is so awesome! We're seeing the Trendbenders live!
:'''Rex:''' Well, maybe not see them, but we'll totally hear them.
:'''Sebastian''': Attention! The Trendbenders will be arriving through the back of the club.
:'''Beverly:''' Slick trick! Yes, Rebecca. I know! Only drink the bottled water. No, we're not that close to the stage. Ugh! I know that's where they mosh-pit. Don't worry! Bye!
:'''Rex:''' Your sister is acting like your mother. I wouldn't put up with it. Doc?! I'm right next to her! Yes, we've got earplugs. Only bottled water-- I know! Yes, you'll pick us up at 11:00. Okay! Bye!
:'''Sly:''' ''[singing]'' I met a guy who has looking for a lucky break. I met a guy mad he wouldn't make a mistake. No loser here the weight would be upon his face. This ain't no lucky break it's just another day.
:'''Beverly:''' Hey!
:'''Rex:''' There's something wrong with that guy.
:'''Beverly:''' Yeah! It's called lack of social skills.
:'''Sebastian:''' We have to talk! You got to listen to me!
:'''Rex:''' I think they're a little too busy for a chat right now.
:'''Sebastian:''' It's me! Your first fan!
:'''Rex:''' Come on, dude. Can't you just watch the show, like everyone else?
:'''Sly:''' ''[singing]'' You won't bring me down. Yeah-yeah-yeah. You won't bring me down.
:'''Sebastian:''' I'm not just everyone else.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' You want to rethink trying to stop me?
:'''Beverly:''' Whoa! Geek in triplicate!
:'''Rex:''' More like EVO geek.
:'''Sebastian:''' I bet you're not even a real fan!
:'''Rex:''' Hey, I know their music!
:'''Sebastian:''' Yeah? What album is &quot;Bitten on the Wind&quot; from?
:'''Beverly:''' Uh, their first album.
:'''Sebastian:''' Wrong! Their third! Poser!
:'''Sly:''' Here's one from our first album-- &quot;Bitten on the Wind.&quot;
:'''Beverly:''' Told ya! Their first album! Who's the poser now?
:'''Sebastian:''' But it is their third. They keep denying their first two albums exist!
:'''Rex:''' Huh?
:''[Rex bones cracking]''
:'''Rex:''' Shouldn't you be home, making sure your mom isn't snooping around your basement? Ouch! All right, I've had enough.
:'''Sebastian:''' I know you. You're that guy from Providence that beats up on EVOs.
:'''Rex:''' And I'm guessing you're not one of my fans.
:'''Sebastian:''' This isn't over! They still need me to show them the way back. I'll make them listen to me.. No matter what! Ugh!
:'''Man:''' No re-entry without a hand stamp.
:'''Rex:''' Uh, but--
:'''JoJo:''' It's okay. He's with me. I'm JoJo, the band's manager.
:'''Beverly:''' Oh! Sly Tyler, vocals, six-stringer. Burrito Beau on the big bottom, and Leon Adler on the skins.
:'''Beau:''' Bass. Drums.
:'''Beverly:''' They're even cutter up close!
:'''JoJo:''' But Sebastian isn't. And now that fruitcake fan has become a major menace.
:'''Rex:''' You know who that guy is?
:'''Sly:''' Yeah, he's one of our first fans from way back.
:'''Leon:''' But he didn't like our change in music direction.
:'''Beau:''' Change, like in popular.
:'''Sly:''' So he started sending us nasty e-mails and slagging us on the fan sites.
:'''JoJo:''' But now he's turned violent, and it turns out he's... H-he's...
:'''Rex:''' An EVO that can multiply himself.
:'''JoJo:''' We can't handle that kind of threat, but you can.
:'''Beverly:''' Is this a job offer?
:'''JoJo:''' As head of security for the rest of the tour.
:'''Rex:''' Huh, I don't know. Putting up with groupies, great music, catering, the Rock'n'roll lifestyle-- Oh, right, like I'm not totally in for this!
:'''Beverly:''' And I'm your deputy, sheriff.
:'''Sly:''' Absolutely.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Absolutely not.
:'''Rex:''' They've got an EVO threat.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Fine, Rex. Beverly? And don't forget to use earplugs.
:'''Rex:''' Private jet to the next gig? Airline-- First class? Coach?
:'''JoJo:''' Of the road kind.
:'''Rex:''' Traveling the open road, bringing music to the people. Where to next?
:'''Beau:''' Eugene, Oregon. ''[Unenthusiastically]'' WHOO-HOO!
:'''Rex:''' Ow!
:'''Leon:''' Bad seat. Got a lot of them.
:''[Beau farts]''
:''[Rex sniffs]''
:'''Leon and Rex:''' Oh!
:''[Leon coughs]''
:'''Leon:''' Isn't the ozone layer depleted enough, Beau?
:'''Rex:''' Want to hit the streets and check out the local scene?
:'''Sly:''' Seriously, man? It's just another town.
:'''Beau:''' Been there. Seen them all.
:'''TV Announcer:''' He's currently under 3, 2 behind the leader. This is a very tricky--
:'''Rex:''' Oh, let's throw this in the pool!
:'''Leon:''' Hey, I'm watching something, dude!
:'''Rex:''' How about a food fight?
:'''Sly:''' Sorry, man. Not feeling it.
:'''Rex:''' This isn't feeling very Rock'n'Roll.
:'''JoJo:''' Rex, we hired you to consult on security, not rock-tour clichés.
:'''Sebastian:''' Room service.
:'''JoJo:''' Again? You guys, this is costing too much.
:'''Sly:''' But we didn't order anything else.
:'''Sebastian:''' That's okay. This is on the house!
:''[Sebastian grunts]''
:''[JoJo gasps]''
:'''Rex:''' Look out! He's got... Paperwork?
:'''Sebastian:''' I've got notes and visuals on where you've gone commercial and how you can get back to your roots! He's with the band now? He's not even a real fan! You see? You've got to come with me. You need my help!
:'''Rex:''' They're not going anywhere, but you are!
:'''Sebastian:''' My copies don't feel pain.
:'''Rex:''' But you do!
:'''Girl:''' Whoa! You must really be a big fan!
:'''Sebastian:''' Only of their early stuff.
:'''Girl:''' Eww! Their early stuff is weak.
:'''Teen girl:''' But their new songs are awesome!
:''[Girls giggling]''
:''[Sebastian growls]''
:''[Girls screaming]''
:'''Rex:''' Excuse me. I'm with the band.
:'''Teen girl:''' But you missed your ride.
:'''Rex:''' That's okay. I've got my own.
:'''Man:''' Rock bands! Never again!
:'''Sebastian:''' I've got to take you away from this sellout existence, where you deny your first two albums even exist.
:'''Sly:''' B-but those albums weren't any good. That's why we only had a few fans, like you.
:'''Rex:''' If there's only three of them, then who's driving the car?
:'''Sebastian:''' Aah!
:'''Rex:''' Did he... Ah! Rent that car from the circus? Time to cut this act short.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' Oh, man. I went to my first Trendbenders show in that car.
:'''Rex:''' Maybe I can't turn off your obsession, but I can shut down your nanites.
:'''Beau:''' That clone-boy?
:'''Rex:''' I don't think he's going to be a problem now.
:'''JoJo:''' We can still use you on the tour. What did you say?
:'''Rex:''' Yes!
:'''Sly:''' Good man! ''[singing]'' You see the light, and it's oh, so bright, a million times more than before, now we'll show you the door, some starts fade, and some starts shine, the bright ones stand the test of time, the others burn out and sing, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, kill your radio, you live a life for all to see, sometimes it's right, sometimes obscene, now you're the enemy, it's one for all and all for me, unlocking doors and misery, the others burn out and sing, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, out of time, kill your radio, out of time, kill your radio, out of time, kill your radio, it isn't all, that it's cracked up to be, I never thought it'd be so easy, I wouldn't have it any other way, you see the light, and it's oh, so bright, a million times more than before, now we'll show you the door, some starts fade, and some starts shine, the bright ones stand the test of time, the others burn out and sing, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, &quot;yeah&quot;.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Sly:''' At least we got a day off before the next gig.
:'''JoJo:''' Guys, a club owner in fleeceburg just offered us amazing money. I booked it.
:'''Rex:''' For when?
:'''JoJo:''' We're already running late.
:'''Sly:''' They're paying money for us to play in this dump?
:'''JoJo:''' Big money. Come on. You're on in ten minutes.
:'''Rex:''' I'm guessing ticket sales are a little slow.
:'''Leon:''' Are we breaking up?
:'''Beau:''' This dive seems awfully familiar.
:'''Sebastian:''' It should.
:'''Rex:''' That voice seems awfully familiar!
:'''Teens:''' Dude! Nobody move! What's going on? Who's touching me? What is this? Excuse me. What is going on?
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' I built an exact replica of the first club you played in.
:'''Beau:''' Hey, that's one of my puke stains. Fruitcake knows his details.
:'''Rex:''' But I cured you.
:'''Sebastian:''' Hmm... That was a copy, not the original.
:'''Sly:''' Whatever. When's this gonna end, fan-boy?
:'''Sebastian:''' It ends tonight. Check the floor at your feet.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' I've given up trying to get you back to your roots. So now you'll play what I want to hear for the next hour. And then your career ends with a bang. :'''Sly:''' On behalf of the band, I'd like to thank our manager, JoJo, for booking this totally insane gig!
:''[JoJo laughs nervously]''
:'''Sebastian:''' The sound of cold, hard cash is the only music sellouts like you listen to anymore.
:'''Rex:''' They're not sellouts. They just got more popular than you wanted.
:'''Sebastian:''' You try anything, and I'll end their last gig prematurely. You're only alive because I want you to see what the Trendbenders used to be like. For the next hour give me the early stuff, when you were cool.
:'''Sly:''' Why bother? You're gonna nuke us, anyway.
:'''Sebastian:''' Because if you don't play, this happens!
:'''Sly:''' Aah!
:'''Leon, Sly and Beau:''' No more!
:'''Sly:''' Okay, dude, what's the first number?
:'''Sebastian:''' &quot;Crawling undertow&quot;!
:'''Sly:''' Well, how does it feel?
:'''Sebastian:''' First album, seventh song. Fifth song on the Japanese import.
:'''Sly:''' To get that weight back on our shoulders--
:'''Sebastian:''' You're giving it a beat that wasn't in the original, man! Not even in the remix from the box set. Play it right this time! I'm missing the concert because of you!
:'''Rex:''' Stinks to be you. Got to cure the real Sebastian. But which one is the mother ship?
:'''Sebastian:''' You can't even play your old songs like you used to. Total disappointment. Let's end this bummer concert.
:'''Sly:''' But we still have over a half-hour left!
:'''Sebastian:''' Last song, no encore.
:'''Rex:''' Tell me who's the original, or I'll turn you into dessert topping!
:'''Sebastian:''' You don't scare me. I don't feel pain.
:'''Rex:''' But the real Sebastian does. Sly! Maximum feedback! Now! Thanks, Doc.
:'''Sebastian''': AAAHHHH!
:'''Rex:''' How do you like their new hit, Sebastian Prime? Here's another new groove you're not going to like.
:'''Sebastian:''' Aah!
:'''Rex:''' Congrats. You're back to being a solo act.
:'''Sebastian:''' You've got to listen to me!
:''[Sebastian yelling]''
:'''Rex:''' Kidnapping, assault and battery, construction without a permit-- that should keep him away for years.
:'''JoJo:''' Have to say it, guys, but we've got a gig in toledo to get to. Security?
:'''Rex:''' Not anymore. Sebastian's done, and so am I.
:'''Sly:''' Dude, I thought you wanted the rock'n'roll lifestyle.
:'''Rex:''' I'm not tough enough for it. I need to get back to something easier, like city-smashing EVOs and conspiracies to take over the world.
:'''Beau:''' Don't know what your missing.
:'''Rex:''' I think do. But I don't miss this. Yes, doc? Don't need my earplugs anymore. I quit. Will you let me tell you? No, the EVO threat wasn't just an excuse. Well, I'm coming back! Will you let-- Doc!

===Lost and Found===

===My Brother's Keeper===

===Target: the Consortium===
: '''Jungle Cat:''' You are...?
: '''Rex:''' Rex. Rex Salazar. What are you?
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Lost... and found.
: '''Rex:''' HUNH! AAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
: ''[Rex gasps deeply]''
: '''Rex:''' Whoa. That was a total zero on the fun meter.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Learning how to communicate with the nanite world isn't about fun. Did you get anywhere at all?
: '''Rex:''' Don't know. I connected with a Master Control Nanite for a second, and then I lost it. But I also got, like, this feeling that something's about to happen in the nanite world. Something... big.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Argh! This is Rylander's speciality, not mine. There's no way I can cover for him.
: '''Caesar:''' Not to worry, Dr. Meechum. You won't have to any longer. Dr. Rylander will take over from here.
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Oh, really, Caesar? From his current location of beyond the grave?
: '''Rylander:''' Actually, Peter, I was never completely dead-- just spread a little thin-- ''[chuckling]'' Moleculary speaking. Caesar's been working on putting me back together.
: '''Black Knight:''' All of them together-- At last. Contact the Consortium. We now have something to show them. Something big.
: '''White Knight:''' Even having two of the Master Control Nanites doesn't change the vital importance of finding the other three. But the latest intel I've received could give us a way to neutralize the group obsessed with these machines.
: '''Six:''' The Consortium.
: '''Rex:''' Aren't those the money guys that bankrolled the Nanite Project in Providence?
: '''White Knight:''' The same. Formerly made-up of six members, but now five-- Reddick, made his wealth in real estate and construction. Vostock, black market finance and KGB... Zanubian, arms dealing and shipping. Roswell, oil and minerals. Anthony Haden-Scott, worldwide media.
: ''[Rex munches]''
: '''Rex:''' Should we be writing this down for the pop quiz later?
: '''White Knight:''' You may be facing them soon because of the efforts of our stealthiest agent.
: '''Rex:''' Mm! Thank you! I think.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' He's not talking about you.
: '''Rex:''' Hey! It's Evo-cat guy! Uh... sorry-- What's your name? O...kay, cat with no collar, what's in the sack? Bunch of canaries? Well, that's... something.
: '''White Knight:''' Our associate has been tracking the Consortium with a little help from a former member.
: '''Rex:''' I remember him! He's the one Rylander got revenge on with an EVO love letter.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' That he never recovered from. But he's still full of useful knowledge about the other members.
: '''Rex:''' As long as you have a towel handy for the answers.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' The Consortium has financed a new facility for nanite research. All of them will be at that location within the next six hours.
: '''Six:''' And so will we.
: '''White Knight:''' A rare opportunity like this can't be missed. You three will capture the Consortium and bring them to a secure location. Understood?
: '''Rex:''' Purrfectly.
: '''Black Knight:''' Gentlemen, I wanted you here today to--
: '''Reddick:''' &quot;Wanted?&quot; Sounds like a command.
: '''Vostok:''' ''[Russian accent]'' You get to ask, not order.
: '''Black Knight:''' I'm sorry. Let me restate. I asked you here because I can now present some major developments in your quest. I finished construction on the nanite reactor and reassembled against all odds the original science team to run it. Doctors Meechum, systems expert. Salazar, artificial intelligence. Rylander, microengineering. And Van Kleiss, biomechanical integration.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Nanite's recorder locked in. Hologram Rylander saves money on meals. Glow, glow, glow, yipper.
: ''[Van Kleiss smooches]''
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' A human flashlight and a brain-fried babbler. This is what I'm supposed to work with.
: '''Vostok:''' Looks like your geniuses have some issues.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' ''[British accent]'' I seem to recall there were two other Salazars on the team.
: '''Black Knight:''' They're dead-- And just as well. Considering their actions are responsible for our setbacks, I highly doubt they would have cooperated.
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Black Pawns:''' Ohh!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Black Pawns got to talk to their costume designer. Way too stuffy.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Be quiet.
: '''Six:''' Our target?
: '''Roswell:''' ''[Southern accent]'' Little lady, I'm hoping you didn't get me out here just to watch some lab jockeys do their homework.
: '''Vostok:''' I know I've got better things to do.
: '''Black Knight:''' Aside from the all-important reassembly of the science team and activation of the nanite reactor, I do have another development to show you.
: '''Roswell:''' Yeah? What else you got?
: '''Black Knight:''' An acquisition.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Lost... and found.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' What's wrong with you?
: '''Rex:''' Forget the Consortium! I know where we can find a Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Six:''' Where?
: '''Rex''': Here.
: '''Six:''' We're doing both. You two get the nanite, I'll get the Consortium.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' On of the five? That's all?
: '''Reddick:''' You know we need all of the Master-Control Nanites to do us any good.
: '''Vostok:''' What about the two you lost? And the other two still out there?
: '''Black Knight:''' We'll have the other four in due time. Take this back to the vault. But remember that each one has its own useful powers. : '''Roswell:''' Not enough to drag me all the way out there, little lady.
: '''Black Knight:''' &quot;Black Knight&quot;.
: '''Black Pawns:''' You're not one of us.
: '''Six:''' Stay clear of the Pawns. They're not buying our cover. Repeat-- Stay clear of the Pawns.
: '''Rex:''' Steel door. A vault!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' That was close.
: '''Rex:''' Got it. Have to be as stealthy as you from now on.
: ''[Jungle Catsnarls]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarling]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Van Kleiss!
: ''[Jungle Cat muffled grunting]''
: '''Rex:''' Way not to be stealthy. Sorry, cat guy. I know you want payback for him turning you into stone and all, but the nanite is more important.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Security alert. Intruder.
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' You find the nanite. I'll be a diversion.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' She has shown us some progress. That one nanite is significant in itself.
: '''Reddick:''' It's all five or nothing. Or are you thinking of working a separate deal with the one?
: '''Vostok:''' Can we please not talk like this while those two are in the room?
: '''Roswell:''' Yeah, Xanubian, put a sock in all your yammerin'.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Another intruder at security zone three. It's Agent Six.
: '''Rex:''' Gotcha.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Unh! Aah!
: '''Rex:''' I'll take that. Six! I've got the nanite!
: '''Six:''' Meet your outside.
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Rex:''' I've got it! Let's scat, cat!
: '''Black Knight:''' If he's here-- So is Rex. Vault security, come in.
: '''Reddick:''' Is there a problem?
: '''Black Knight:''' A minor security issue. I'm taking care of it.
: '''Vostok:''' ''[Russian accent]'' You better, little lady.
: '''Rex:''' Well, mission half accomplished.
: '''Six:''' This should complete it.
: '''Rex:''' You planted a bomb?!
: '''Six:''' Plan &quot;B&quot;.
: '''Rex:''' The cat! He's still inside! No!! We've got to go back for the cat! He's on his own mission. Van Kleiss is there.
: '''Six:''' Understood.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Black Knight, shouldn't we evacuate?
: '''Black Knight:''' The security threat has been removed. Among other things. Track them, find them.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Interlace template, instal copper buffers, hold the mayo, set core temp, heat cold fries.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Remember me?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Someone let the cat in.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' You cast me aside as if I was garbage. Turned me to stone. Drained me of life-- Almost. Now it's your turn to suffer.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Had a kitty once. Not you. Bubbles liked catnip and parsnips. Chapped lips. Hip, hip, hooray!
: ''[Jungle Cat growls]''
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' If you're here to clean up, ask for directions, not Dr. Screwloose.
: '''Rex:''' Ugh! Meechum. Bro. He's here to put Van Kleiss out of the world's misery. Give me a reason why he shouldn't.
: ''[Jungle Cat growls]''
: '''Rylander:''' Because the world needs him right now, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' Dr. Rylander! How did you--
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' You got it to work.
: '''Rylander:''' I've looked better, I'll admit, but I'm still very much alive. And so happy to see you again.
: '''Rex:''' If you could bring him back--
: '''Caesar:''' Sorry, Rex. It won't work for mom and dad.
: '''Rex:''' So, you've come back-- But you're working for them! It seems crazy, I know, but look at our progress-- The nanite reactor is almost operational.
: '''Rex:''' Not if I destroy it.
: '''Black Knight:''' Surround them.
: '''Caesar:''' Trust me, hermano, We're doing the right thing.
: '''Rex:''' You keep saying that, but I don't believe it anymore!
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Bubbles, I'm sorry. Here, kitty, kitty. Left you out in the rain, rain go away--
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarling]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh! Easy on the hot sauce, Peter, Peter pumpkin two seater.
: '''Rylander:''' Tell him, Caesar.
: '''Rex:''' Tell me what?
: '''Six:''' Revenge time is up.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: ''[Jungle Cat roars]''
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Aah! Careful! Our work! Ugh! Take it outside!
: '''Rex:''' Ugh!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Rex. Rex Salazar.
: '''Rex:''' I can't talk now! Ugh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Thank you.
: '''Rex:''' You're so not welcome.
: '''Black Knight:''' You should have left when you had the chance.
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' You guys have such a great cafeteria.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Had to come back for more.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Aah! Unh!
: '''Six:''' Unh!
: ''[Black Knight grunting]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Unh!
: '''Six:''' UNNNNNNNNH!
: '''Black Knight:''' Ugh!
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Rex:''' Let's say adiós.
: '''Six:''' There's still plan &quot;B&quot;.
: '''Rex:''' We're not assassins.
: '''Six:''' You're not. This might be our one chance.
: '''Rex:''' To be like them? Then what makes us different?
: '''Six:''' Go. I'm right behind you.
: '''Roswell:''' You brought us into an ambush! Right behind you, Mr. Chatterbox.
: '''Vostok:''' You are cowards.
: '''Reddick:''' Graveyards are full of dummies that thought they were though.
: '''Vostok:''' Black Knight, we have a lot to discuss about your future.
: '''Black Knight:''' By all means, let's talk.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Where's Six?
: '''Rex:''' He said he was right behind us.
: '''Six:''' I am. The Consortium still has to be dealt with.
: '''Rex:''' We now have three Master Control Nanites. I'd say the Consortium has to deal with us.
: '''Six:''' Understood.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Purrfectly.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' I'm shocked. What happened?
: '''Black Knight:''' It seems Vostok had an unfortunate run-in with our intruders as he was leaving. But, there's good news. The reactor is gone. Soon we will have all the nanites we need.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' &quot;We&quot;?
: '''Black Knight:''' I think it's time we walked about my promotion.

===Convergence===
===Enter the Nanite World===

===Enemies Mine===
: '''Valve:''' Battle is to be waged between your courage and my power. You lose.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Valve, my friend. Lovely day for a riot, don't you think?
: '''Valve:''' What do you want, Gatlocke?
: '''Gatlocke:''' I want lots of things-- A doomsday weapon, my own private island, for my mom to stop calling me to fix her computer. But what I really want is to give you a message. It's time. I suppose I'll make the introductions.
: '''Valve:''' A biker needs no introduction. And everyone knows Hunter Cain.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Everything is going according to plan. We get one more thing. Then we get wrecked.
: '''Rex:''' Sorry we're late.
: '''Bobo:''' We're not late. We're fashionably early.
: '''Providence Agent:''' I was starting to think I was on my own. I've been calling for help, but  Providence hasn't answered.
: '''Six:''' What set this off?
: '''Providence Agent:''' No idea. One moment everything was fine. The next moment, complete chaos.
: '''Rex:''' I'm heading in. I'll lock up when I'm done. Oh, don't bother getting up. I'm just gonna knock you back down again.
: '''Bobo:''' Back in your cages, you filthy animals!
: '''Rex:''' Huh? What? You? It's a who's-who of old EVOs. Whew! Really not in the mood for this. You're kidding me. You?!
: '''Gatlocke:''' Three men, one objective, no rules. Oh, this is exciting, isn't it? Or is it just me?
: '''Valve:''' The others are saying that Rex is here. Rex will get his when we're ready.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Watch yourselves. This one's unpredictable. We know what you want, No-Face. Then we can give it to you. Do what we say. Then you'll get Rex. You'll get the chance to tear Rex apart. Piece by piece. Now we're ready.
: '''Rex:''' So you remember who I am. Surprised you have a big enough brain for that. These cells are pretty dull. Let's redecorate. No way I'm letting an EVO get won over on me. Especially a big old frog.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Almost out. Freedom is just a... Bottomless ravine away.
: '''Valve:''' The biker begs the question, how are we getting across?
: '''Gatlocke:''' You know that's not really how begging the question is supposed to be used. Are we kidding? Anyone who gets worked up over that phrase needs to be savagely beaten.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' This'll override the drawbridge system.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Ooh, now how would someone like you procure something like that?
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Friends and hide places.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, frog legs. Let's put you in solitary confinement.
: '''Bobo:''' Do you look like you got run over by an overstuffed garbage truck?
: '''Rex:''' Feels like it. This is a prison riot. Where's Providence? They should be all over this.
: '''Six:''' They never responded to any calls.
: '''Rex:''' It's a setup. Providence wanted this to happen. But why?
: '''Six:''' Six here. Go ahead.
: '''Rex:''' Wait. This bridge wasn't down before.
: '''Bobo:''' Yeah. About that. Some of the prisoners escaped together. Gatlocke...
: '''Rex:''' That's bad.
: '''Bobo:''' Hunter Cain...
: '''Rex:''' That's even worse!
: '''Bobo:''' Valve.
: '''Rex:''' That's... Really? Valve?
: '''Bobo:''' Yeah. And No-Face.
: '''Rex:''' Those four are loose? Together?
: '''Six:''' We've got a bigger problem.
: '''Rex:''' How can it be bigger than this?
: '''Six:''' The EVOs in the city-- The only thing keeping them tame are their control collars.
: '''Rex:''' And this is a problem because...?
: '''Six:''' Because someone has shut them all down.
: '''Rex:''' Let me get that for you.
: '''Bobo:''' Dumpster dog. Considering you used to ride around in the Paris, I guess you're moving up in the world. Main to your mud.
: '''Six:''' Are you injured?
: '''Rex:''' Just worn out. Is this day over yet?
: '''Bobo:''' Oh! Signs pointing no.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? That came from the track. Can you handle things here?
: '''Bobo:''' Only one way to find out. Valve. Those nanite superchargers you keep using are bad for your health.
: '''Valve:''' If I were you, I'd be more concerned with your own short-term health.
: '''Rex:''' Please, like I have anything to worry about from you. The other three, they're dangerous. You, you're just comedy relief.
: '''Valve:''' I am not. Comedy relief.
: '''Rex:''' Well, you're not funny, that's for sure.
: '''Valve:''' Like the road that continues on, so must the biker.
: '''Rex:''' Where did he go so? Ew! Get away from my tacos, cockroach! Huh? You running away? I'll give you this much, Valve. Maybe you're getting smarter.
: '''No-Face:''' Unlike you.
: '''Rex:''' I put you away once, No-Face. I'll do it again.
: '''No-Face:''' The one who makes machines. The one we've been waiting for.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Figures you try to shoot a guy in the back.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' All I see is a filthy EVO.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, first off, that Lai is tired. Second off, last time I checked, you're teaming up with one. Would that make you an EVO lover? All this hide and seek is wearing me down! Huh? Figures.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Leaving so soon? That's not going to impress the hiring committee. Now, let's see what we have here. &quot;Honor roll, A/V Club.&quot; Ugh. &quot;Glee Club.&quot; ''[Scoffs]'' I'm going to have to be brutally honest with you. You're perfect for my gang. Can you sing soprano? My last soprano drove his motorcycle off a cliff. He survived, but his voice was never the same. By the way, can you fly? This is quite the surprise. I'm willing to hire you, Rex, but you better have some excellent references.
: '''Rex:''' Back to prison, Gatlocke!
: '''Gatlocke:''' Then consider the offer rescinded! You could be a valued member of my gang. It's a tough job market out there, you know?
: '''Rex:''' I'd never work for you!
: '''Gatlocke:''' No, not with that attitude, you wouldn't. Welcome to my gang. Your first task is to destroy Rex-- That guy right there.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Gatlocke:''' Your second task is to complete harassment training. I teach the class. This pamphlet explains everything.
: '''Rex:''' No, no, no!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, come in. What's happening?
: '''Rex:''' One really bad day.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Your nanite readings are off the charts.
: '''Rex:''' No surprise. I've been fighting and curing EVOs non stop.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' We need to upload your nanites immediately.
: '''Rex:'''  Now? Doc, my four worst enemies are still on the loose. Well, my three worst enemies in Valve. Plus the city's in chaos. And where in the world is Providence? How come they're not here dealing with this?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Six and Bobo can mop up the last few EVOs. You have to offload.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, fine. But we better make it fast.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You'll be locked in the chamber for one hour.
: '''Rex:''' Just do it, Doc.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' This could be a long sixty minutes.
: '''Valve:''' According to the tracking bug, Rex is inside.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Gentlemen, this is what we've been waiting for. It's time for Rex to die.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' They followed him.
: '''Gatlocke:''' After we kill Rex. We should work together and form a team call ourselves... Gatlocke and the kitty cats.
: '''Valve:''' Silence your mouth or the biker will silence it for you.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Oh, Valve. You can pretend to be angry, but deep down, you know you're a kitty cat.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' They know we're here.
: '''Gatlocke:''' You're quite feisty. Have you ever considered a career in the fast growing field of post apocalyptic gangs?
: '''Valve:''' She has spirit. Valve the biker will see that spirit crushed.
: '''Gatlocke:''' You're Gatlocke's favorite kitty cat. Hmm. Rrr.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Don't follow her. She's trying to lead us away from Rex. Rex is close-by.
: '''Valve:''' Rex's chamber... Five minutes to spare.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' More than enough time.
: '''Gatlocke:''' I could have sworn that we'd agreed to take Rex out together.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' I'm changing the terms of the deal if you have a problem with that, feel free to stand right where you are. I've waited a long time for this. Rex!
: '''Valve:''' Empty? Or a trick of the mind?
: '''Rex:''' Isn't that obvious? Then again, that tracking bug you stuck on me was obvious, too. And the fake countdown? Obvious. It only took me thirty minutes to upload my nanites. You wanted to run me ragged so you could get me. Instead, here you are all in one place. Gotcha!
: '''Valve:''' UGHH!
: '''Rex:''' UGHHHH! I still don't get why you enlisted Valve. I mean, he's really a third-string bad guy.
: '''Valve:''' Valve is the biker. A biker is dangerous.
: '''Rex:''' Hmm. Yeah. No.
: '''Valve:''' Rrrr!
: '''Rex:''' So unpredictable. Like a third-string bad guy.
: '''Valve:''' AAAAH!
: '''Gatlocke:''' I have a horrible sneaking suspicion that he's winning.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Then do something about it!
: '''Gatlocke:''' Don't have to yell. A kind word will get you much further.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Gatlocke:''' UGHHH! Oh! Oh! Oh ho ho! Ouch! My back! My front and my back! OHH! This is total, total agony!
: ''[Gatlocke gasps]''
: '''Gatlocke:''' ''[Calmly]'' I'm okay. Really. I'm fine.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' You're lucky. I'll give you that. But you're only delaying the inevitable. You can't beat us all!
: '''Rex:''' I never intended to. This offload facility? I reprogrammed it. My surplus nanites aren't being stored. They're powering the shield.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' It's a trap!
: '''Rex:''' Have fun keeping each other company!
: '''Bobo:''' What a day.
: '''Rex:''' You know, none of this would have happened if Providence hadn't released the convicts and turned out all those EVOs.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' They did that to keep you busy.
: '''Rex:''' Keep me busy from what?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' The Nanite Project. We just found out. While we dealt with the EVOs, Black Knight got her hands on another Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Rex:''' Then it's time.

===Sinister Secrets===
===Wounded Hearts===
===One Step Ahead===
===Breaking Point===
===Behind Closed Doors===

===Keeping Hope===
===Trust===

===Terror of the Black Knight===

===Endgame, Part One===
: '''Rex:''' It was going to happen sooner or later. We had most of the pieces, so it was only a matter of time before the Black Knight made her move. And of all the chances she had to attack, it had to be tonight... at this very moment... while I was in the shower. Huh? How many?
: '''Six:''' Should it matter?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Can't you do any better than that?
: '''Bobo:''' I thought you'd never ask.
: '''Rex:''' Rah! Yah!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' If they get to the Meta-Nanites, we still have options.
: '''Rex:''' Of the self-destruct kind? No, thanks, Doc. It's not going to end that way... hopefully.
: '''Black Knight:''' We'll dispense with the pleasantries. You know what we want.
: '''Rex:''' There is no way you're walking out of here with the nanites.
: '''Black Knight:''' You seem so certain.
: '''Rex:''' We've beaten you before. Every single time, in fact. So, this time is different... How? Okay, that's different. Ugh! You're an EVO?!
: '''Black Knight:''' Do you think you were the only one they experimented on back in the day? You were the guinea pig. Consider me the new-and-improved version.
: '''Rex:''' Okay. Before we go any further, I should probably explain a few things. It started when a bunch of rich guys decided they wanted to live forever, so they got the best scientists in the world to figure out how. The answer was nanites. These microscopic machines would cure disease, end hunger, and pretty much make the world a better place. My parents and older brother were on the team, and so was this guy. Look familiar? Van Kleiss. Then one day there was an accident. To save my life, my parents injected me with nanites. It worked. But there were a few crazy side effects, like the fact I could talk to machines and, later on, build some pretty cool things. That got the rich guys thinking-- How far could we take this? Turns out pretty far. These little machines could control the very fabric of the Universe, but they would need a Master Control Nanite to program all the others and tell them what to do. Energy, gravity, time/space, elemental, mechanical-- All the things that make the Universe run. Combined together, they would pretty much make you a God. And when my brother and parents found out the Consortium was about to put these nanites inside themselves, they sort of freaked out in a &quot;got to save the Earth&quot; kind of way. Something had to be done to stop it. Turns out that meant blowing the whole thing up, better known as &quot;The Nanite Event&quot;. That didn't end well for my parents. While everyone else ran away, my parents were trapped inside. Sill not sure how. There was some good news-- No more Master Control Nanites. And the bad news? Dangerous unprogrammed nanites got spread across the world, and nanites plus DNA equals EVO. My brother Caesar got caught in a time warp during his escape. Van Kleiss got blown to smithereens and became the world's biggest pain in the nanite. And me? I got amnesia and traveled the globe living the good life... At least, that's how I tell it. The only part I know of wasn't all that much to brag about. I did get some good friends and a few enemies out of the deal. Turns out that losing my memory was a regular thing for me. Last time I woke up and said, &quot;Who Am I?&quot; It was when this guy found me-- Agent Six. He worked for Providence, sort of a global police force created to clean up after the event. It was paid for mostly by the same group of goons that started the whole thing-- The Consortium. It was great for a while. I had my own personal doctor, a chimp sidekick, a cool best friend to hang with. I was a full-fledged hero. The world loved me, and my powers kept getting better and better. Van Kleiss was still a pain, but I managed to take care of him. A few times, actually. Then things started to get not so cool. My brother shows up from out of nowhere. I get thrown six months into the future to find White Knight kicked out of Providence and this lady in charge-- Black Knight. She's been the lapdog of the Consortium from day one, and now her bosses want to pick up where they left off. Most of the old team of scientists have been reunited, and together, they've restarted the nanite program. The Master Control Nanites were spread across the globe in the first explosion, and we've been racing against Providence to get them back. So far, we've been winning that fight, and that pretty much brings us to right now.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' The Black Pawns are robots?!
: '''Black Knight:''' Total obedience at the flip of a switch. Can you blame me?
: '''Black Pawn:''' What's so funny?
: '''Six:''' I hold back against people. You're not people.
: ''[Bobo Haha grunts]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Ugh!
: '''Feakins:''' Hey! Hey! Take it easy, would you? Oh!
: '''Rex:''' Fitzy?!
: '''Feakins:''' Heh? Sorry, guy. They found me. She's hard to say &quot;No&quot; to... and live.
: '''Black Knight:''' Well put, Mr. Feakins. And thanks to his unique ability, we can set aside our nanite enhancements and do this the old-fashioned way.
: '''Rex:''' Come on. That's not fair. I'm unarmed!
: '''Black Knight:''' Precisely.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Stop! Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad idea.
: '''Rex:''' Listen to the crazy guy.
: '''Black Knight:''' Why are you here, Van Kleiss?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I forgot. Oh, no, wait. I remember. He's got a Master Control Nanite swallowed up inside him. It's been hiding, the naughty thing.
: '''Rex:''' On second thought, don't listen to him. He's, uh-- He's crazy, remember?
: '''Black Knight:''' You're sure of this?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, yes, yes. Quite sure. Do you have any mints?
: '''Black Knight:''' I want Rex at the lab. Restrain and sedate him.
: '''Rex:''' How, hold on a minute.
: '''Feakins:''' Hey! What about me?
: '''Black Knight:''' I'm not taking any chances. He stays with Rex. Kill the others.
: '''Rex:''' Ugh! Ahh.
: '''Master-Control Nanite:''' Human.
: '''Rex:''' What are you telling me? What do you want?
: '''Master-Control Nanite:''' Complete. Complete. Complete. Complete. Complete.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, I get it. How?
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Caesar:''' Calm down, Rex. You're safe.
: '''Rex:''' Safe?! Black Knight and her robo-troopers just came knocking, and Van crazy says I have a Master Control Nanite inside me!
: '''Caesar:''' Fascinating, isn't it? All this time, it's been hiding undetected inside you. I wonder if this particular control unit is responsible for his unique nano-evolution.
: '''Rex:''' Are any of you even listening to me?
: '''Feakins:''' Boy, I am. It's like a movie but real! I just want to go start pressing buttons. Can I get another milkshake?
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' How exactly do you plan on getting it out of him?
: '''Black Knight:''' I have a suggestion. Tear it out.
: '''Rylander:''' It would kill him.
: '''Black Knight:''' That's none of my concern.
: '''Caesar:''' The nanite is tied to his DNA. Simply pulling it out of him would ruin the nanite.
: '''Rex:''' And me, too, remember?
: '''Caesar:''' The only way this will work is if we put him in the cyclotron with the other Metas. It should extract automatically during the reassembly.
: '''Black Knight:''' And if it doesn't?
: '''Caesar:''' Hmm. Good question.
: '''Rex:''' Here's another one-- Don't I get a say in this? Like, isn't this the exact thing that our parents died trying to stop?
: '''Black Knight:''' Take him to the hub and prepare for the transfer. The Consortium is here and extremely impatient. I want this finished within the hour.
: '''Feakins:''' Aah! Hey, what am I-- Sandpaper? Not so rough! ''[sputtering]'' Rough.
: '''Rex:''' Glad someone can see the humor in this.
: '''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, see that Rex is well taken care of.
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' I hope you know what you're doing, Salazar. This is a huge risk we're taking.
: '''Rylander:''' Listen to Peter. The thing we swore to stop at any cost, the thing that took your parents-- It could happen-- Right here, today.
: '''Caesar:''' It can't, and it won't. You'll have to trust me on this.
: '''Rylander:''' You can only say that so many times, Caesar.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' We've been waiting almost an hour. Not even refreshments?
: '''Black Knight:''' You can have your snack after we become Gods.
: '''Roswell:''' &quot;We&quot;?
: '''Black Knight:''' That's right-- &quot;We.&quot; None of this would be possible without my efforts.
: '''Roswell:''' And our money, sister.
: '''Black Knight:''' By all means, have your contempt. There's plenty of room buried next to the Russian if you'd like to keep him company. That's what I thought. Now, if you'll follow me--
: '''Bobo:''' &quot;Kill the others.&quot; Not gonna happen, lady. We're bulletproof. Ow! Hangnail.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Ugh! We know where they took him. Why are we here? We need to go get Rex.
: '''Six:''' I agree. We just don't have the resources, Rebecca. We'd need an army.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You've been known to make the impossible happen, Six. How hard could that be?
: '''Six:''' Six here. Copy that. We just got ourselves an army.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You see?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' That will be all.
: '''Feakins:''' But the lady said-- Good luck, Kid.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' These restraints were made for you. You're very special, you know.
: '''Rex:''' Lucky me.
: '''Caesar:''' Van Kleiss... leave us.
: '''Rex:''' I really hate you.
: '''Caesar:'''I know how this looks, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' But what? I just have to trust you? Is that what you were going to say? Just help me-- Please.
: '''Caesar:''' It may not seem like it, but I am.
: '''Rex:''' Caesar... I'm scared.
: '''Caesar:''' So am I, little brother. This will all be over in a few minutes.
: '''Rex:''' It's already over! When I get out of this, I never want to see you again!
: '''Rylander:''' Commencing countdown.
: '''Roswell:''' WHOO-HOO!
: '''Reddick:''' Payback time!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Caesar:''' This won't be entirely unpleasant. It should feel similar to when you offload surplus nanites.
: '''Rex:''' Stop! You can't do this! You can't merge!
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Something's wrong.
: '''Rylander:''' Of course something's wrong. The kid is fighting it.
: '''Caesar:''' This could be bad.
: '''Rylander:''' You have to tell him, Caesar.
: '''Caesar:''' Rex, you have to stop. Listen to me. The nanites are supposed to do-- Rex? Can you hear me?
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Actually, he can't. There's a short in the comm relay.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' This would be a wonderful day for a picnic.
: '''Rex:''' RA-A-A-A-A-A-H!
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' Ugh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Ugh!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' So much for that plan.
: ''[Rex laughs]''
: '''Rex:''' Oh, serves you right. All that and you come out of the oven looking like freaks. Nice job!
: '''Black Knight:''' It's not exactly what we were expecting, but it's a start.
: '''Reddick:''' This isn't what we agreed to.
: '''Roswell:''' Where's the rest of our power? This is all messed up!
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' How can this be possible?
: '''Rylander:''' The Meta-Nanites were dispersed between the five. This is quite a surprise.
: '''Caesar:''' We've got to get Rex out of there. Step aside, Van Kleiss.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' They still don't have what they want... and neither do you.
: '''Black Knight:''' You're angry. I can see that. If you want to take it out on anyone, it should be Rex.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' I think I can agree to that.
: '''Roswell:''' Count me in! This might actually be fun!
: '''Rex:''' Let's think about this for a second. Whoa!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' How 'bout that? Exactly one second. Whoa! Aah!
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' What a perfect way to learn to use our powers-- Tearing this brat apart.
: '''Rex:''' Only one problem with that, sparky. I've been using my powers a whole lot longer-- And I'm pretty good.
: '''Roswell:''' You got any ideas here, missy, or we gonna stand around and get it handed to us?
: '''Black Knight:''' The Meta-Nanites were designed to work together. So will we.
: '''Rex:''' What? Are you gonna join together to make a robo-mutant?
: '''Black Knight:''' That's exactly what we're going to do.
: '''Rex:''' I need to stop giving them ideas. Huh?
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Black Knight:''' No one the help you-- No family, no friends, nothing. It's a terrible way to go.
: '''White Knight:''' Captain Calan, target the base. All weapons, sire.
: '''Providence Agent:''' Fire control reports they're being jammed, sir.
: '''White Knight:''' Only one salvo. Black Knight must have prepared for this.
: ''[Rex groans softly]''
: '''Rex:''' Big giant robot. Black Knight.
: '''Six:''' We know.
: '''Rex:''' Have to... stay and stop them.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Another time, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' I-I--
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Holiday to White Knight. We have Rex.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' We're just gonna watch them go?!
: '''Black Knight:''' Let Providence have their weapon back. With our combined power, the world is ours.

===Endgame, Part Two===
:'''Black Knight:''' Science has given us a tremendous gift-- Nanites. We've seen what they can do-- The good and the bad. But they're true potential has been largely unseen. Until now. Our goals are varied. Fame... power... revenge... wealth... order. Yet, one thing unites us-- Greed. You're surprised I admit it? Well, don't be. You'll never get far in life without wanting it all. And for those who might consider standing in our way... We'll let our powers speak for themselves. The world is ours. And no one can stop us.
:''[Roswell laughs]''
:'''Roswell:''' This is more fun than my first rodeo. What else you got?
:'''Six:''' Any change?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' He's sleeping. The nanites in him are making repairs. That's a good thing. He's a tough kid, Six.
:'''Six:''' I know.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' See you next time. Judging by what you fed us for lunch, I'm guessing twenty minutes. Can't even go to the little scientists' room without them breathing down our necks. How long are we going to put up with this?
:'''Caesar:''' I know it's not easy working under these circumstances.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Do you? I don't hear you complaining, or have you even noticed that we're prisoniers?
:'''Rylander:''' Gentlemen, please. Can we focus on a more important problem? The Consortium's gain of power is a troubling outcome. Something should be done.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' If you're talking about stopping them, I'm listening.
:'''Black Knight:''' I want you all in the boardroom in three minutes.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' The world is being taken over by nanite-fueled ex-c.e.o. Psychos, and they still act like they're running a business.
:'''Roswell:''' You nerds gave us a raw deal. I want a do-over.
:'''Caesar''': A do-over?
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' What my colleague means to say is that our powers are remarkable to be sure, but we only have one seventh of what we were promised.
:'''Rylander:''' You're asking a lot.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' You're asking the impossible. You'd be lucky to survive the extraction.
:'''Caesar:''' This is true. You may be powerful, but you're not Rex.
:'''Black Knight:''' I share your disappointment, gentlemen. But are you willing to lose everything for this?
:'''Roswell:''' Go big or go home.
:'''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, what do you have to say?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Easy-peasy. I can do it. It's only a matter of correctly calibrating the bio-filters with the homing frequency of the nanites. By the way, have you seen my socks?
:'''Caesar:''' Van Kleiss--
:'''Black Knight:''' Has an assignment. The rest of you... Stay out of trouble.
:'''Rex:''' You started without me.
:'''Six:''' Glad to see you up and around. Something bothering you?
:'''Rex:''' Besides black knight taking over the world? I'm trying to find my friends. I know Providence took them.
:'''Six:''' We're working on that.
:'''Rex:''' And are we doing anything about the Consortium? What about... The robot? The one I can build. Don't play dumb, Six.
:'''Six:''' Come with me.
:'''Rex:''' That's me? No way! All this time, I could have been making myself into that thing? Ohh! Maybe not.
:'''Six:''' Evidence suggest that you've never been able to control it. It's a weapon of last defense. This was filmed on the day that I found you. It was also the day I made a promise that it would be the last time you ever built this machine.
:''[Rex scoffs]''
:'''Rex:''' Or what, you'd kill me? You plan on keeping that promise?
:'''Six:''' Rex, you have to know something. We believe this is the type of thing that ends in you losing your memory.
:'''Rex:''' Well, it happened to you, and you turned out just fine.
:'''Six:''' I only lost six years. Six years is all you have. You would lose everything. I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but you need to think about the consequences of some of your options.
:'''Noah:''' It feels weird hanging out when the world is under attack. I don't know if I should be fighting back or out in the wilderness setting up a survival compound.
:'''Rex:''' If you had the power to stop all this, but it meant losing everything, would you do it, Noah?
:'''Noah:''' I don't know. I'm just glad I don't have to make that kind of decision. I guess that's why you're the hero.
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Rex:''' I wish I could get some kind of sign. Anything. Hmm.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Red and yellow, red and yellow. One false move can kill a fellow.
:''[Van Kleiss laughs]''
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' He's got local control. We're locked out. I still don't even know how this is possible.
:'''Rylander:''' I've been looking at the data projections. As crazy as Van Kleiss is, his theory is sound.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Sorry to disturb your sleepy sleep. There might be a slight delay.
:'''Black Knight:''' Why?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' We have a visitor. Should I set out tea?
:'''Rex:''' Hey, in there! Come on out!
:'''Black Knight:''' Back for more? Happy to accommodate.
:'''Rex:''' I should warn you. It's going to get ugly.
:'''Black Knight:''' One would think you would have learned the last time. I can feel you resisting me. Stop.
:'''Roswell:''' Why is it you get to call all the shots?
:'''Black Knight:''' Because I'm the one who has the power to join us. Help me defeat Rex, and you can call all the shots you like.
:'''Rex:''' Hyah!
:''[Rex babbling]''
:''[Rex gasps]''
:'''Six:''' It's a weapon of last defense. It's happened.
:'''Noah:''' That's Rex?
:'''White Knight:''' I'm going to assume you're seeing what I'm seeing.
:'''Six:''' White--
:'''White Knight:''' Before you say anything, Six-- Whatever agreement we may have had regarding this situation no longer applies. Am I clear?
:'''Six:''' Understood.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': What was that all about?
:'''Six:''' A second chance.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six, we have to do something.
:'''Six:''' I've seen it before. We're too late.
:''[Rex coughing]''
:'''Rex:''' Donde esta mi zapato?
:'''Noah:''' Rex! Hold on!
:'''Rex:''' What? What happened?
:'''Bobo:''' You blew up, kid.
:'''Six:''' Do you know who we are?
:'''Rex:''' I... I do! Oh-ho! I remember! Ow! Ow! I wish I could forget this pain in my... The Consortium!
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' This is utter nonsense. I refuse to be led around like a show dog.
:'''Reddick:''' You can always go back outside and take it up with Providence.
:'''Black Knight:''' Guard the door. Nothing gets by you.
:'''Six:''' They're robots.
:'''Rex:''' Oh! Right! That part I forgot.
:'''Bobo:''' Next time, leave some for the rest of us, huh?
:'''Rylander:''' I'll stay here and guard the equipment.
:''[Rylander laughs]''
:'''Caesar:''' Little brother, they've had this place completely locked down. I've been trying to reach you.
:'''Bobo:''' What he said.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Yeah, you deserved that.
:'''Rex:''' Open it.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' We can't. Still completely locked out of the system. Besides, you can't interrupt once the cycle has started.
:'''Rex:''' Well, then, un-start it!
:'''Black Knight:''' You cleaned up for the occasion. How thoughtful of you.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, this isn't for you. You didn't actually believe that I'd let the five of you have all this power.
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' I thought you were working for us?
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Rex:''' You see that? I knew it! He's not crazy! Okay... oh! He's crazy, but just his usual crazy.
:'''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, I am not amused.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I don't imagine you would be. This was always my intention, even in the very beginning. It's a pity your parents caught me trying to activate the sequence for myself. And, of course, there's the &quot;broken&quot; hatch. The world would be a much better place if they had just left well enough alone.
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' Black Knight, do something.
:'''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, you have made a huge mistake.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, then, let the fun begin.
:''[Black Knight groans]''
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' You can't overload that relay from a subdirectory. You have to get a root. It's impossible from here.
:'''Caesar:''' You're a very negative person, Peter Meechum.
:''[Dr. Meechum groans]''
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' I'll try from the main terminal in the lab.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Caesar:''' Rex, wait! That's not necessary.
:'''Rex:''' I'm not waiting around, hermano.
:'''Caesar:''' No. That's not what I mean.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Yes. I can see it.
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Huh? No.
:''[Van Kleiss groans]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's incredible something so small could have so much [[w:Omnipotence|power]]. That thing could rip apart the very fabric of the universe.
:'''Rex:''' It's still a nanite. I'm gonna talk to it.
:'''Caesar:''' No. It's okay.
:''[The fully complete Meta Nanite comes to Rex, as if it were waiting for him, whose eyes and body glow with a pale blue cosmic aura.]''
:'''Caesar:''' Rex, listen to me. The Meta-Nanite-- It could never work in anyone but you. Now in its pure state. Mom and dad, we programmed them that way from the very beginning. All of this... It's meant for you.
:'''Six:''' What are you saying?
:'''Caesar:''' Right now, Rex is [[Omnipotence|the most powerful being in the universe]].
:'''Bobo:''' You hear that, Kid? Don't let it get to your head.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, can you hear me?
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, doc. This is pretty trippy. Not exactly sure what I'm supposed to do now.
:'''Black Knight:''' You're a [[God]], Rex. You can do anything you want.
:'''Six:''' You know what to do.
:'''Rex:''' You're right, Six. So are the rest of you. I can do anything I want. Maybe it's time for a revolution. Isn't that what you five wanted? A revolution? Well, welcome to it.
:'''Noah:''' Is he gonna be like this from now on?
:'''Rylander:''' Uh... People. He's inside the nanite reactor.
:'''Dr. Holiday and Caesar:''' Inside?
:'''Rex:''' Okay, little guys. I need you to do something for me.
:'''Black Knight:''' Follow me, quickly.
:'''Reddick:''' I'm through following you. We trusted you everything, and look what we got.
:'''Black Knight:''' We may still be able to retain some of our abilities, but only if you follow me.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Are you seeing this?
:'''Rylander:''' Tehnically, I don't have eyes, but yes.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Reports are coming in. EVO's all over the world are spontaneously curing.
:'''Six:''' Not spontaneous.
:'''Caesar:''' He must have programmed all the nanites in the reactor to initiate a worldwide cure event.
:'''Black Knight:''' What is your next directive?
:'''Rex:''' I don't want anyone using you again. Ever. And that includes me. Deactivate.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex:''' I think it's over.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I think you're right.
:'''Caesar:''' I wanted to tell you, brother. So much was at stake.
:'''Rex:''' We're good. And we'll always be brothers.
:'''Diane Ferrah:''' Across the world, not an EVO to be found. After more than six years, it appears we've awoken from the nightmare.
:'''White Knight:''' The EVOs may be gone, but we still have nanites.
:'''Rex:''' Leave it to you to spoil  all the fun, White Knight.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' There are some people here to see you, Rex.
:'''Rex:''' Tuck? Cricket? Skwydd?
:'''Skwydd:''' Eh, I guess I should start going by Walter again.
:''[Rex runs to Circe and the two lovers share a close hug, happy to be together at last]''
:'''Rex:''' Uh... Are you...?
:'''Circe:''' I'm okay. Normal, but okay. I think you may have put yourself out of a job.
:'''Skywdd:''' Yeah. What are you gonna do? Go to school?
:'''Rylander:''' It was nice having the team back together. You know, we should find a new project.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' You kidding? I'd rather have root canal with a rake. Worst experience of my life.
:'''Caesar:''' Do you want to hear about some of my new ideas or not?
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' I'm listening.
:'''Rex:''' Finally.
:'''Six:''' Need anything?
:'''Rex:''' Nope. I'm good. There's always going to be something, isn't there?
:'''Six:''' Yes, there is.

==Characters==
===Main===
*Rex Salazar (Daryl Sabara)
*Six
*White Knight
*Bobo Haha
===Supporting===
*Circe (Tara Sands)
*Tuck (Dante Bosco) 
*Skwydd
*Cricket
*Beverley Holiday 
*Caesar Salazar
*Five
*Tres
*IV

===Villains===
*Van Kleiss
*The Pack
*Gatlocke
*Hunter Cain
*Quarry
*Black Knight
*The Consortium
===Couples===
*Dr. Rebecca Holiday &amp; Six
*Rex &amp; Circe
*Noah Nixon &amp; Claire Bowman
==Elements==
===Rex's Machines &quot;Builds&quot;===
*Big Fat Sword
*Buzz Saw
*Punk Busters
*Boogie Pack
*Cannon
*Smack Hands

===Rex's Other Abilities===
*Technopathy
*Data Manipulation
*Technological Manipulation 
*E.V.O. Curing
*Breach Detection
*Electronic Disruption

===Omega Nanite-Powered Builds===
*Blast Caster
*Funchucks
*Bad Axes
*Block Party
*Sky Slider
*Water Jet

==External Links==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1636691/ Generator Rex] at [[Internet Movie Database]]
* [http://generatorrexpedia.wikia.com/wiki/Generator_Rex Generator Rex] at Wikia

{{Authority control}}
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Teen superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Cartoon Network original series]]
[[Category:Television series by Cartoon Network Studios]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Teen animated TV shows]]</text>
      <sha1>62e9p2ndwzro24bk1b26r2itwe6qz5d</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944136</id>
      <parentid>3944133</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T08:01:05Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-17291-92</username>
        <id>3303475</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Mind Games */</comment>
      <origin>3944136</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="350383" sha1="qefcjtvyovkvjrn4blqlw3rt1c8170r" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
This is a list of quotes from the popular, yet cancelled animated television series ''[[w:Generator Rex|Generator Rex]]''. A video game and several chapter books were produced. 

The series supposedly &quot;[[w: cliffhanger|concluded]]&quot; with its third season, despite leaving many questions unanswered and crucial elements unresolved ''before'' the two-part Season 3 finale, ''Endgame''.
==Season One (2010-2011)==
===The Day That Everything Changed===
:'''Bobo''': Wheels or wings?
:'''Rex''': Wheels, I wanna tear something up.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Agent Six''': He just needs more training control of those emotions.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': He's a teenager that's like asking you to get a different color suit!
===String Theory===
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, we had a situation at the safe house. Meecham is cured. It was Rex.
:(''The camera zooms in on Van Kleiss whose expressive vindictive indeed'')
===Beyond the Sea===
:''Note'': Rex meets his [[w:love interest|love interest]] and sweetheart, Circe.
:────────────────────
:'''Rex''': Don't know what you're 24/7 is, but mine is 10% OH YEAH! And 90% uhh.
:────────────────────
:'''Rex:''' Outta the way!
:'''Circe:''' Uh!
:(''Rex and Circe both crash to the ground'')
:'''Rex:''' Are you okay? Did you see that awesome save?
: '''Circe:''' Sorry, I was busy trying not to get tackled by some nitwit.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah? How that work out for you? And who still uses the word &quot;nitwit&quot;? I'm Rex.
: '''Circe:''' I'm leaving.
: '''Rex:''' Hey, wait!
: '''Noah:''' Rex, you're up.
: ────────────────────
: '''Six:''' What about the new tracker?
: '''Doctor Holdiay:''' His nanites unbuilt it, just like all the other ones we tried sneaking in him. We're still receiving his biometric readings though. It's strange, they're all over the place. It's almost like his emotions are...shorting out.
: '''Six:''' He took an unusual interest in Calan's briefing about equatorial upticks.
: '''Doctor Holiday:''' And that's important because?
: '''Six:''' Rex has been acting stir-crazy and I heard the monkey mention something about spring break. ''[to workers]'' Scan all resort areas for his bio signature.
: ────────────────────
: '''Noah:''' Oh, you have got it all messed up. Falling for some girl? We're supposed to get them to dig us. Not the other way around.
: '''Rex:''' I don't know. There was something different about her. She's...right there. Later.
: ────────────────────
: '''Rex:''' Hey, wait up!
: '''Circe:''' Why are you following me?!
: '''Rex:''' Uh, I don't know exactly.
: '''Circe:''' Do you think I'm playing?!
: '''Rex:''' Well, if you are I'm down for another game. I thought maybe we could hang out. It is spring break, you know. Fun.
: '''Circe:''' I'm with my family. We're not really for fun.
: '''Rex:''' What! Who comes to the beach and doesn't have fun?
: (''Circe raises her hand'')
: '''Rex:''' Don't you think that's a little messed up?
: '''Circe:''' Maybe a little.
: '''Rex:''' So?
: '''Circe:''' I'm Circe.
: ────────────────────
: '''Rex:''' Hold on! 
: '''Circe:''' Woooo!
: '''Rex:''' Definitely better than my suggestion.
: '''Circe:''' Hunting for seashells is fun.
: (''both laugh'')
: '''Beach Guy:''' You two skid-marts up for a race to the beach?
: '''Circe:''' Well, if you drive as badly as for play volleyball, we could probably walk there and win. You're on, meathead.
: (''guy drives off in anger)''
: '''Rex:''' So you were watching me play.
: '''Circe:''' Maybe a little.
: '''Rex:''' sure you wanna do this?
: '''Circe:''' Thrill me.
: '''Beach Guy:''' Hahahaha! Wooo!
: '''Circe:''' C'mom Rex, faster!
: ────────────────────
: '''Biowulf:''' Explain.
: '''Circe:''' Relax. I was covering. Every day when I'm at the end of that jet i when I could hanging out with the other kids, it's starting to look suspicious.
: '''Biowulf:''' You're not here for vacation, girl! You're here to prove yourself to Van Kleiss. And I'm starting to doubt you can.
: '''Circe:''' I told you. It's a done deal.
: (''The shadow of her tubular sonic mouth is seen'')
: ────────────────────
: '''Noah:''' So what's on today's spring break agenda? Jet skiing, hiking?
: '''Bobo:''' Eating our weight in crab legs?
: '''Rex:''' I figured we'd just chill. Let's just see who...uhh I mean what shows up.
: ''(siren-like call)''
: '''Rex:''' Did you hear that?
: '''Noah:''' Sorry, enchiladas.
: '''Rex:''' No, that! You seriously didn't hear that?
: ────────────────────
: '''Rex:''' Circe?
: '''Circe:''' You really shouldn't be here right now.
: '''Rex:''' I heard something coming from over here.
: '''Circe:''' I'm serious, Rex. It's not safe.
: '''Rex:''' What you think some sort of roguewave is gonna knock off and- Oh.
: '''Circe:''' There you are. Get out of here, Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Circe!! What are you doing!?
: '''Circe:''' Me!? What are you doing!?
: '''Rex:''' Right now, my job. Okay! Don't freak out.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' You're an E.V.O.?
: '''Rex:''' You catch on fast.
: '''Circe:''' Takes one to know one. 
: (''Shows Rex her fleshly sonic mouth'')
: '''Rex:''' No way.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' Cover your ears!
: '''Rex:''' What!?
: '''Circe:''' Your ears! Cover them!
: (''Projects her tubular, fleshy mouth and emits strong hypersonic bursts'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' Did I hurt you?
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. It was awesome. You were the one making that sound.
: '''Circe:''' I'm glad you're OK, but I'm in serious trouble. I have to go deal with it.
: '''Rex:''' Why are in trouble? Is it because of that E.V.O.? Let me help you.
: '''Circe''': No. I have to do this by myself.
:(''Rex takes a hold of her hand'')
: '''Rex:''' Meet me later.
: '''Circe:''' Rex... (''Looks away sadly'')
: '''Rex:''' I've never met anyone like you...like me. It'd be nice to talk to an E.V.O. who's not, you know, trying to kill me. Nine O'clock? 
: '''Circe:''' I'll try.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' I just wanted to have some fun, see if I could jog my memory, feel...normal.
:'''Six:''' Your &quot;normal&quot; is different, Rex.
:(''Rex hears Circe's irresistibly hypnotic melody'')
:'''Rex:''' It's her, Six. Just let me deal with this, OK? Alone.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' You're only here because you heard my [[w:siren |call]]. That's what I do. I'm like a big E.V.O. magnet.
: '''Rex:''' I came because I thought we had a connection. And what are you calling? Nothing's out there but big, ugly sea monsters.
: '''Circe:''' It's them! You have to go! Rex, please! I don't want them to see you with me!
: '''Rex:''' Who? Your parents?
: '''Circe:''' They're not my parents. They're...
: '''Rex:''' The Pack!? Van Kleiss' guys!? Your with ''them''!?
: '''Circe:''' Yeah. I'm with them. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Biowulf:''' We're running out patience with you, Circe! You have one last chance! Summon the E.V.O.! Finish the job!!
: '''Circe:''' Don't you think I've been trying? Every day for the last week? Sometimes these things take time.
: '''Rex:''' It is just me or do you use your powers to kill all the guys you meet? You're letting her go, now!
: '''Biowulf (laughs)''': So ''this'' is who you been wasting your time with. She's on her own free will, Rex.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Circe?
: '''Circe:''' You have to leave me alone, Rex!! ''Please!''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Six:''' Go after her. I mean it.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' The Pack!? Are you serious!?
: '''Circe:''' To the rest of the world I'm a freak! Not to them!
: '''Rex:''' You're not a freak to me! What about that?
: '''Circe:''' What about it!? Spring break is fun, but we can't live there, Rex. The real world...
: '''Rex:''' In the real world, I work for Providence. You could come with me. Could you cut out that noise for a second!?
: '''Circe:''' No, I can't! I'm running out of time! Most people on this planet what E.V.O.s gone, ''including'' Providence! With Van Kleiss, I have a purpose; a home. You don't what that means to me.
: '''Rex:''' Actually, I think I might.
: '''Circe:''' So what are going to do?
: '''Rex:''' How about fight that big, ugly sea monster again?
: '''Circe:''' Finally! It's what I came here to do.
: '''Rex:''' You've been calling that thing, haven't you?
: '''Circe:''' It's my initiation into the Pack. I was brought here to capture it.
: '''Rex:''' By yourself!? The two of us could barely take it on! There's a resort here; innocent people! Send it back!
: '''Circe:''' That's not an option, Rex. Van Kleiss was very specific.
: '''Rex:''' Then I'm helping you.
: '''Circe:''' That's not an option either!! 
: (''Blasts him with her hypersonic waves'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' If I do this myself, I'll have a life! If I don't, Van Kleiss won't be happy. And you've seen what he does when he's not happy.
: '''Rex:''' If I don't help you, he won't even get the chance!
: '''Circe:''' Give me some credit, Rex! I'm not as helpless as you think!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I don't care whose side your on, Circe. I don't want to see you die today. Can we at least agree on that?
: '''Circe:''' You have no idea what I'm in for, Rex. But you're right. I can't do this by myself.
: '''Rex:''' You're not as helpless as you think.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe''' (''relieved'')''':''' Rex, you stopped it.
: '''Rex:''' We make a good team, huh?
: '''Circe:''' Yeah, we sure do. 
: (''She and Rex lean in closer for a passionate kiss, but are interrupted by Biowulf'')
: '''Biowulf:''' This trial was for you alone. Van Kleiss will not be pleased.
: '''Rex:''' Forget them, Circe. Come with me. Providence could use you.
: '''Circe:''' That's just not my life, Rex. I'm sorry. I did have fun.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Van Kleiss:''' We had high hopes for your abilities, Circe. Failure leaves its mark on yet another pretty face.
: '''Circe:''' I'm not afraid.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Of course not. You're a survivor, like all of us. I understand you made a friend during your trial. I'm pleased. Rex is very important to me, Circe, which makes you very important to me as well. Welcome to the Pack.
: (''Circe looks slightly worried, which clearly indicates that she does have real feelings for Rex'')

===Lockdown===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Holiday:''' Rex, stop!!
:'''Rex:''' Give me one good reason!
:'''Holiday:''' Because, Rex...that's my sister.
:'''Rex:''' Can I...help?
:'''Holiday:''' She's an incurable.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Six:''' Restrain it. Carefully.
:'''Holiday:''' Thank you.

===The Architect===
:'''Six''': Still no sign of the kid?
:'''Holiday''': Not since we lost his biometric readings five days ago.
:'''Six''': Was Noah any help?
:'''Holiday''': Says he doesn't know where he is either. What is it going to take for Providence to realize that he needs a home, not just a room and a job? We've been pushing him away.
:'''Rex''': I build machines and cure EVOs-- the only one in the world who can. Just one cure for that kind of pressure-- road trip. But that doesn't mean &quot;vacation&quot;.
:'''Build worker''': Whoa!
:'''Maxwell''': What in the world is that?!
:'''Build worker:''' Oh, no!
:''[Both screaming]''
:'''Jacob''': Get away from that cable! Unh!
:''[Kate gasps]''
:'''Maxwell''': Hey!
:'''Jacob''': Agh!
:'''Kate''': Jacob!
:'''Rex''': Nope. A hero's work is never done. You okay?
:'''Jacob''': What... are you?
:'''Rex''': Here to help.
:'''Jacob''': We've got to get that cable back underground. We've been compromised.
:'''Kate''': But, Jacob, the EVOs--
:'''Jacob''': We don't have a choice. Everything we've worked for That boy is here for a reason.
:'''Rex''': Hey! Pay attention!
:'''Providence Agent''':  We have a hit in sector 15.
:'''Six''': Anyone in the area?
:'''Providence Agent''': I show one patrol in the vicinity. Signaling to intercept. Roger that. We're on our way.
:'''Rex''': Agh! You want a ride? Vamanos!
:'''Jacob''': You can control your nanites?
:'''Rex''': People usually start with &quot;thanks,&quot; but yeah.
:'''Jacob''': You see? This is exactly what the Architect can help us achieve... harmony with the nanites. This boy... sorry... young man Is a miracle.
:'''Rex''': I'm not a miracle. I'm just Rex.
:'''Jacob''': Well, Rex, you're a blessing to us for what you did here and for showing us that all our work isn't in vain.
:'''Rex''': Like imaginary work?
:'''Jacob''': Follow us.
:'''Providence Agent''': Confirming coordinates. We've lost the EVO signal. Did you take it out? Negative. There's nothing here. Must be another anomalous reading. You can return to post.
:'''Rex''': This is awesome! A hidden village. And nobody knows you're out here? Not even Providence?
:'''Jacob''': Especially not Providence.
:'''Rex''': Really? really. Pshh! Looks like you get pretty good cellphone reception.
:'''Jacob''': That tower is gonna change the world, Rex. I'm sure you have a lot of questions, but I have one for You. Are you hungry?
:'''Rex''': Mmm! Mmm!
:'''Caleb''': My dad said you fought all those EVOs all by yourself. Were you scared? Didn't your dad tell you to stay away from EVOs?
:'''Kate''': Caleb, let him eat. We don't get many visitors.
:'''Rex''': Mmm! Mmm! What is this?
:'''Caleb''': Didn't your mom ever make you meatloaf and mashed potatoes?
:'''Rex''': I don't -- I don't know.
:'''Kate''': It took me a month and a half to program in the perfect lump-to-mash ratio of the potatoes-- 7.2%!
:'''Jacob''': We ate potatoes until they were coming out of our ears.
:'''Rex''': I don't see any potatoes in there.
:'''Caleb''': They didn't really come out of our ears.
:'''Rex''': I could eat these every day.
:'''Rex''': Mmm!
:'''Caleb''': We have them every friday.
:'''Rex''': Then I might just have to stick around until next friday.
:'''Kate''': Help yourself to seconds.
:'''Jacob''': Or thirds.
:'''Rex''': Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!
:'''Bobo''': Hmm?
:'''Six''': You might think you're doing Rex a favor by covering for him.
:'''Bobo''': Get lost. I don't know what you're talkin' about.
:'''Six''': Rex is angry with us. He has every right to be. But that means nothing to White Knight. And he doesn't have the patience we do.
:'''Bobo''': Nice try. White won't lay a finger on him. He's too important.
:'''Six''': You, however, are somewhat expendable.
:'''Bobo''': All right, all right. You made your point.
:'''Rex''': I've never seen tech like this... not even at Providence.
:'''Jacob''': The Architect has some pretty big ideas. We just make them happen. He'd be very interested to meet you, Rex.
:'''Rex''': So what exactly are You doing way out here?
:'''Jacob''': Engineers like us weren't very popular after the nanite event. When we met the Architect, he offered us the opportunity to make up for that... to do amazing things. Someday, we'll be able to share This with the world. And then there's this. The Architect has actually discovered a way to communicate with the nanites.
:'''Rex''': Are you serious?
:'''Jacob''': The possibilities... We could finally live in harmony... maybe even have them help us.
:'''Rex''': Then why hide it? The rest of the world would want to know about this stuff.
:'''Jacob''': The Architect is something of a perfectionist. Says the world will know as soon as it comes online.
:'''Maxwell''': Stinkin' module!
:'''Jacob''': Is there a problem, Maxwell?
:'''Maxwell''': No matter what I try, I just can't get the interlock servo to engage.
:'''Rex''': There.
:'''Jacob''': That could have taken us weeks to figure out, and you did it in seconds.
:'''Rex''': Eh, no biggie.
:'''Jacob''': You really are amazing, Rex. We're so happy to have you with us.
:'''The Architect''': Jacob.
:'''Jacob''': I was just talking to Rex about you. The Architect.
:'''Rex''': How's it going?
:'''The Architect''': The power-linkage team is falling behind. We cannot keep having these delays.
:'''Jacob''': I'll check in with them.
:'''Rex''': Wow. Friendly.
:'''Jacob''': I like to think he's smiling on the inside.
:'''Rex''': Yeah. I know a guy like that.
:'''The Architect''': The visitor could be a problem. Do you wish to have him removed?
:'''Zag-RS''': His abilities could advance our progress considerably. And in a matter of days all humans will be gone, including this one: Rex.
:'''Six''': I'm at the location the monkey gave me.
:'''Holiday''': Well? Is Rex there?
:'''Six''': Apparently not. Tell the monkey I want to see him when I get back. Six out.
:'''Rex''': That should do it.
:'''Maxwell''': Hey, Rex, can you look at this?
:'''Rex''': Sure. Let me guess... they all need my help, too.
:'''Jacob''': You're quite the popular guy.
:'''Rex''': Amazing what a little gratitude will get you. At Providence, they'd just be yelling at me. I mean, I never felt like I really belonged there. Here, it's way different.
:'''Jacob''': I know the feeling. The Architect has made all this possible for us. We have a community... a family... thanks to him. The work we do is in part to pay that back.
:'''The Architect''': Primary systems are now complete.
:'''Zag-RS''': Prepare to take us online.
:'''Bobo''': Have a nice trip? Let's get one thing straight, pal. I would never rat out my... Ooh. He's going west.
:'''White Knight''': Why is Rex doing this? Doesn't he have a sense of duty?
:'''Holiday''': Actually, if you look, he's still doing his job. Here's every false alarm since Rex left... not false alarms, But Rex taking care of EVOs along the way.
:'''White Knight''': Why?
:'''Holiday''': I don't know. To prove he doesn't need us?
:'''Six''': Get the coordinates of the last false alarm and transmit them to my jump jet.
:'''Holiday''': Six, if we force him to come back, he'll just run away again. He has to want to be here. It needs to be his decision.
:'''Jacob''': It's all coming together, Thanks to you, Rex.
:'''Rex''': It's really cool to use my powers to actually build something, instead of just pounding EVOs. Oh, check it out. Even the boss is pitching in.
:'''Both''': Huh?
:'''Rex''': And that's getting strange looks because--
:'''Jacob''': Because in all these years, we've never seen him lift a finger.
:'''Rex''': Taking some initiative... I like that. So, this whole &quot;talking to nanites&quot; thing... how does that work, exactly? I mean, what are you gonna say to them?
:'''The Architect''': It doesn't concern you.
:'''Rex''': Uh, considering I'm filled with them, it kind of does. How do we know it's not gonna make things even worse?
:'''The Architect''': I do not answer to you, child!
:'''Jacob''': Rex? Forgive him. He's still not used to the way things work around here.
:'''The Architect''': Complete your duties!
:'''Rex''': Why do you let him walk all over you like that? Don't you want answers?
:'''Jacob''': What we want is a home. Without him, we have nothing... Nothing. We can't just run away from our problems, Rex. Most people can't. Look, this isn't perfect but it's all we've got. Rex, where are you going?
:'''Rex''': He never answered my question.
:'''Jacob''': That place is off-limits. The Architect has made it very clear to us that we can never go in there. We get this life for that promise. Rex, don't do it!
:'''Rex''': Agh!
:'''Jacob''': Rex, please!
:'''Rex''': I'm sorry, jacob. I have to know.
:'''The Architect''': Rex. The core is off-limits. You would be we to leave at once.
:'''Rex''': Not until I get some answers. What is that?
:'''The Architect''': No more questions.
:'''Rex''': So, it's gonna be like that? Okay, I'll play. Unh! What are you hiding, huh? What does this do? Yah! Yah! Huh? You're a machine? Have you seen what I can do to machines? Agh!
:'''Zag-RS''': As you can see, the current range of my signal is rather limited.
:'''Rex''': You're the computer.
:'''Zag-RS''': My human designation is &quot;Zag-RS&quot;. The device you refer to as &quot;The Architect&quot; is my autonomous counterpart.
:'''Rex''': What did you just do to me?
:'''Zag-RS''': I instructed your nanites to protect me.
:'''Rex''': &quot;Instructed&quot;? So you really can talk to them.
:'''Zag-RS''': Insidious devices, the nanites. My own potential for greatness has been compromised because of them. They must be eliminated. When the transmitter is integrated into the broadcast array you helped us complete, they will blow themselves up.
:'''Rex''': That's what this is for. It's like a big remote control. Every living thing on the planet has nanites in them. It'd kill everything!
:'''Zag-RS''': That is of no importance to me... only ensuring my continued survival.
:'''Rex''': Well, what about ours? This is all coming down!
:'''Zag-RS''': I'm afraid you're too late.
:'''Rex''': Aah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
:'''Jacob''': Rex, what have you done?
:'''Rex''': You don't understand! The Architect... it's a robot... And a big honkin' computer &quot;brain&quot; is pulling his strings.
:'''Jacob''': This can't be!
:'''Rex''': Jacob, you've got to believe me. Just go inside and look. What's left of it is on the floor.
:'''Jacob''': I can't go in there. And I don't have to.
:'''The Architect''': Rex.
:'''Rex''': You're making a big mistake!
:'''Maxwell''': You entered his sanctum! This is unforgivable!
:'''Rex''': I'm trying to tell you... this isn't what it seems. What you're protecting is a robot, and that thing we've been building is a transmitter. It's gonna send out a kill code to blow up every single nanite on Earth.
:'''Maxwell''': He's lying!
:'''Jacob''': What would be the point in that, Rex? Every living thing is infected with nanites. It would be catastrophic.
:'''Rex''': Right in the middle of that pyramid is a computer, and it doesn't care about you or Kate or Caleb. The better future that you've all been working towards... That's the lie. Think about it. Isn't it strange that you've never been inside that place, that The Architect has never given you a straight answer about anything?
:'''Jacob''': All this work it just doesn't make any sense.
:'''Rex''': You have two choices... Go in there and prove me wrong or kick me out right now. I'll have Providence here in minutes.
:'''Maxwell''': He's bluffing.
:'''Rex''': To save every living thing on earth? Try me.
:'''Maxwell''': Jacob, you can't! What about our promise? Where will we go?
:'''Jacob''': All this time, we've been living in fear, Max. It's time for that to end.
:'''The Architect''': You needn't bother. Construction is complete. Your services are no longer required.
:'''Rex''': Now do you believe me?
:'''The Architect''': Zag-RS thanks you for your hard work. In gratitude, my master has delayed transmission to allow you to say farewell.
:'''Jacob''': Farewell, huh? I'll start with you. Can you shut that thing down?
:'''Rex''': I don't know. Even without the antenna, it can mess with my nanites. I can't get too close to the computer.
:'''Jacob''': Maybe I can. Let's go!
:'''Rex''': The brain is right over there.
:'''The Architect''': Rex.
:'''Jacob''': It's still arging. The A.I. must have retreated behind a firewall. Rex, I have to go cut the power.
:'''Holiday''': Six, are you at The location?
:'''Six''': Just arrived.
:'''Holiday''': I'm picking up a massive power surge in your area.
:'''Six''': I'm not seeing anything.
:'''Jacob''': Agh!
:'''Rex''': Agh!
:'''Six''': Six to holiday. Correction... I'm seeing something.
:'''Jacob''': It's still on. Must have charged the capacitors. Figure out a way to short it out... fast!
:'''Rex''': Unhhh!
:'''Jacob''': You need to find the primary transmitter module. That will kill the broadcast.
:'''Rex''': I have no idea what that is.
:'''Jacob''': Max, we need to locate the primary module.
:'''Maxwell''': Panel 5, just off the relay bus.
:'''Jacob''': Top of the tower. You can't miss it.
:'''Rex''': Agh! Unh! Why do you have to kill everyone? Can't you just leave us alone?
:'''Zag-RS''': Alone is exactly what I want, Rex.
:'''Rex''': That kind of alone it stinks.
:'''Zag-RS''': N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o.
:'''Jacob''': It's gone. Must have uploaded to another location. But without anyone to do it's bidding, it's just a program.
:'''Rex''': What will you do now?
:'''Jacob''': We'll rebuild. The Architect may have been a lie, but what we believe in is true. We don't need him to have a community or a better future. You're welcome to stay. We sure could use someone with your abilities.
:'''White Knight''': Well?
:'''Six''': He's not here. Bobo's been worried sick.
:'''Rex''': rex: Oh, really?
:'''Six''': Ratted you out for a pizza.
:'''Rex''': Huh. Figures. What about you? Here to drag me back to Providence?
:'''Six''': Not this time. Seems like a nice place.
:'''Rex''': Yeah. It is. But it's not home. If I'm going back, there are gonna have to be some changes. First, no more curfew.
:'''Six''': No.
:'''Rex''': Second, I want to decide On my missions.
:'''Six''': No.
:'''Rex''': Okay, but there's one change that absolutely has to be made, or I'm through. Meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Mmm! Mmm! Isn't this great?
:'''Bobo''': Mmm.
:'''Six''': It's a little dry.
:'''Rex''': Mmm. Mm the lump mash ratio is a bit off.
:'''Bobo''': You know what? Maybe I'll run away, too... Go somewhere where my cooking is appreciated!
:'''Six''': We have to do this every friday?
:'''Rex''': Mmm.

===Frostbite===
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, I'm picking up a problem. You need to return to base immediately.
:'''Rex''': I miss you, too, doc. But I'm kinda busy dealing with a problem of my own. Whoa! Whoa! Aah! Okay. Ow. Big mistake, tweety. Can that bird brain of yours comprende I'm trying to help you?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, your own nanite count is off the charts. If you take on any more nanites, We're looking at an overload.
:'''Rex''': Come on, doc. It's just a big birdie.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': You're already over capacity. This is critical! Rex!
:'''Six''': Rex, you need to listen to the doctor.
:'''Rex''': Huh?
:'''Six''': This mission is revised. I need you back at headquarters now.
:'''Rex''': Do you really want a supersize pigeon flying loose all over lower Manhattan? You need me, and I can handle it.
:'''Six''': Not your call.
:'''Rex''': Unless I make it my call.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': (as everyone is fighting) Stop! Need I point out that this isn't the best place for a fight. Anything happens to that storage tank and you'll know why providence made this place so remote. Now let's just talk this out calmly, rationally.
:'''Biowulf''': Whatever happens here, Weaver. It's nothing compared to what Van Kleiss would have done to you.
:'''Rex''': What do you say guy? Common enemy? Little help?
:'''Biowulf''': Good luck. (Biowulf and Skalamander run off)
:'''Rex''': Right. What was I thinking?
:'''Agent Six''': Rex. You need to listen to the doctor.
:'''Rex''': Huh?
:'''Agent Six''': This mission is revised. I need you back at Headquarters. Now!
:'''Rex''': Do you really want a super-sized pigeon flying loose over lower Manhattan. You need me and I handle it.
:'''Agent Six''': Not your call.
:'''Rex''': (as he's flying over the Pack in an Arctic storm) Like you're really going to find me when you can't see 2 feet in front of your face... Huh? (Flies into some of Skalamander's shards and crashes) Guess that visibility thing works both ways.
:'''Rex''': (To Weaver) So, thanks to you, all this time I've been supplying nanites to Van Kleiss!
:'''Rex''': Can't you believe you let these scags get the drop on you.
:'''Agent Six''': They tried. It didn't turn out so well. Just haven't found a way to fight xenoflourine gas... yet.
:'''Rex''': What do you say guy? Common enemy? Little help?
:'''Biowulf''': Good luck.(Biowulf and Skalamander run off)
:'''Rex''': Right. What was I thinking?
:'''Agent Six''': You can't possibly absorb all those nanites! You'd overload in an instant.
:'''Rex''': In case you haven't noticed, I have this problem with authority.
:'''Rex''': (as Rex is absorbing nanites) Six wait! I can hear them!
:'''Doctor Holiday''': (Watching from the ship) What are you waiting for, Six? Take the shot!
:'''Rex''': (Speaking mechanically) Build protocol enabled. Command error detected. Abort. Abort. Stand by engaged. (Rex falls. His voice reverts to normal) Take the shot.
:'''Agent Six''': He told me he could hear them.
:'''Doctor Holiday''': I picked this up during the offload... It's Nanite. I'm sure of it.
:'''Agent Six''': Seems there are more secrets inside that kid than we realized.
:'''Skalamander:''' What's the kid doing here?
:'''Biowulf:''' I don't know. This was supposed to be routine. Something's not right.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' What did you do with my friends!?
:'''Salamander:''' He thinks we've done something.
:'''Biowulf:''' Then let him keep thinking.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' You know, the nanites in me can counteract knockout gas! The playing-possum thing's a pretty good trick. Now tell me where my friends are or I start squeezing!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Six:''' He told me he could hear them.
:'''Holiday:''' I pulled this off during the offload. It's nanite. I'm sure of it.
:'''Six:''' Seems like there are more secrets inside that kid than we thought.

===Leader of the Pack===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Holiday:''' There couldn't possibly be enough E.V.O. activity to account for these nanite readings. They're off the scale. Looking for Van Kleiss?
: '''Rex:''' Circe. I thought I saw her in the blimp.
: '''Holiday:''' That's the girl you met in Cabo Luna.
: '''Rex:''' She may be with the Pack now, but I think I can still get her to talk to me. You know I can be pretty convincing.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Dr. Holiday, there! Now let's take this outside!
:'''Holiday:''' Rex.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It's quite all right. The determination of youth. I'm sure Circe will be disappointed she couldn't see you, Rex. She's attending to other duties this evening. Now if you will excuse me. 
: '''Rex:''' Why are you really here!?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' The people of Abysus have a great way to offer the world. I'm just in part to make that known. 
:'''Rex:''' Or maybe 'cause I couldn't come to you, so now you're coming to me!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I admit you are important to me, Rex, but it's not always about you.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Circe? Interesting look. Want to tell me what's going on?
: '''Circe:''' Not today. 
:(''Knocks him out cold with a metal slate. She later looks outside Rex's prison cell and leaves, with a slightly guilty, dejected expression'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Well, thanks for nearly bashing my brains in back there! And what's with the &quot;knocking me out&quot; thing?
: '''Circe:''' We just needed to keep you out of the way until all of this was over.
: '''Rex:''' ''This!?'' He could destroy the whole city!
: '''Circe:''' He's trying to negotiate peace from a position of strength.
: '''Rex''' (sarcastically)''':''' Oh, yeah! All this nanite power is just screaming peace.
: '''Circe:''' His methods may be aggressive. But he's here to save us...and you. Come on, Rex, jump in with us. The water's fine.
: '''Rex:''' I'll think about it ''after'' I've stopped Van Kleiss.
: '''Circe:''' It's too late for that now, Rex. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Van Kleiss:''' We will not be ignored! ''Circe'' understands this. Why don't you respect her judgement?
:'''Rex:''' You think you can lure me in with her.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Like a fish to water.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I won!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It seems you have. Your parents would have been so proud. I never had the chance to tell you about them, have I? Perhaps another time.

===Breach===
: '''Rex:''' This is...different.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' What is Van Kliess up to, Breach! Where did he have you send Rex?
: '''Breach:''' Van Kleiss isn't always in charge of me. Sometimes I do what I want; like now.
===Of Love and War===
===No Strings Attached===
===Desperate Measures===
===The E.V.O. Agenda===

===Dark Passage===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' Rex? Is that you?
:'''Rex:''' You know my name.
:'''Dr. Rylandar:''' Of course I do! I gave it to you!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' I can't believe you're alive. What a stroke of luck.
:'''Rex:''' Dad?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' You've lost your memory, have you? not surprising, considering what you've been through. Oh. Sorry to disappoint you, Rex. I'm afraid I'm not who you want me to be.
:'''Rex:''' Oh. So if you're not my dad, do you know where he is? Oh, well. Rex Rylander is a goofy name, anyway.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Dr. Rylander, I've got to know.
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' You must understand. It was never about power or greed. It was able changing the world, saving mankind from disease and starvation. And we would have succeeded until ''they'' got involved.
:'''Rex:''' What are you talking about?
:'''Rylander:''' The nanites were incomplete. The incident spread them across the globe before we could finish their final programming. Except for you. Yours were from a different batch, the very first actually. All those innocent victims.
:'''Rex:''' If you feel so bad about it, why have you been attacking more people?
:'''Rylander:''' Hmm. &quot;The chosen few.&quot; Those men and women, Rex, are far from innocent. While they hide in their office towers and gated estates, I've been here trying to set things right, to find a cure for what we created. I've begged for more funding.
:'''Rex:''' Wait! Everyone you attacked- They all worked on the Nanite Project?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' They commissioned it. I merely wished to send them a warning to see what would happen if they refused to help finish the good work we started. And it was good, Rex. ''You're'' living proof that we were doing the right thing.
:'''Rex''' (''indignant'')''':''' By turning me into an E.V.O.!?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' You had an accident. The nanites were your only hope. It was tremendous gamble. The...unexpected side affects name later. It was surprise to all of us. Oh. The look on your brother's face...
:'''Rex:''' Brother?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' When the Event occurred, it was your powers that saved you both. Most of the others, they weren't so lucky.
:'''Rex''' (''to himself'')''':''' I'm not alone.
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' Oh, here. I have something for you.
:(''Injects the mighty and all-powerful Omega Nanite into his system'')
:'''Rex:''' Ow.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' The force-field must be failing.
:'''Rex:''' Forget the force-field! What did you just inject me with!?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' ''[[w:Omnipotence |Everything]]''.
:'''Rex:''' ''Enough, okay!? Do you have any idea what's been like!? Not knowing who I am!? If my family's dead or alive!? Quite with the mad scientist act and give me some answers!!''
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' Forgive me, Rex. I been so consumed with my own guilt I didn't consider what you must be going through. The truth is-
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Truth, Doctor? You wouldn't know the first thing about it. Nor loyalty for that matter. How many times must I tell you this, Rex? The answers you so desperately seek lie with me. And as for you, Doctor, consider our past disagreement settled. I look forward to continuing our research...alone. This was unavoidable, Rex. The longer you resist me, the more people get hurt. Rylander has always been on borrowed time. All of this belongs to me now. Destroy me and you lose everything.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Six:''' No. I didn't see what happened, but according to Rex, Van Kleiss has been eliminated. Rylander's experiment is a total loss.
:'''Holiday:''' All of this for nothing. I'm sorry, Rex.
:'''Rex:''' It wasn't for nothing, Doc. I've got a brother. Out there- somewhere. Finally! I started to get some real answers. I feel closer to the truth than ever.

===The Forgotten===
:'''Six:''' Rex!
:'''Rex:''' It's like I'm hearing through my nanites.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''No-Face:''' You are not the Before.
:'''Rex:''' I'm not sure that was a complete sentence back then.
:'''No-Face:''' ''They'' are the Before! The Before forgot us. The Before left us in pain.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Operation: Wingman===
:'''Annie:''' &quot;Do you have a girlfriend?&quot;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;It's complicated. She's in league with an evil dictator who wants me dead.&quot;
:'''Annie:''' &quot;Yeah. My dad's always worried about me dating, too.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Rabble===
:'''Quarry''': Come on, Rex. (''holds up Rex's journal'') We both know this is what you really want. So go ahead take it. Walk away. Show them who you really are. You were always very good a taking care of yourself. Why should now be any different?
:'''Rex''': (''Cuts his journal in two'') Whoever I was back then, is not who I am now. Not anymore.
:'''Quarry''': Your choice.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex''': It's over, Quarry! You lose!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Sqywwd:''' I hope you don't expect us to thank you.
: '''Rex:''' No. Providence won't bother you unless you do something stupid.
: '''Cricket:''' We'll be fine. Thank you, Rex. 
:(''Kisses him on the check'')
: '''Tuck:''' Don't forget about us, Okay?
: '''Rex:''' That may be a promise I can't keep. (''Flies off on his Boogie Pack'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' It's going to happen again, isn't it? I'm going to blank out. How long do I have?
: '''Holiday:''' I don't know, Rex. It's likely triggered by a specific event; something traumatic.

===The Hunter===

===Gravity===

===What Lies Beneath===
: '''Circe:''' Rex, it's me.
: '''Rex:''' Circe? What do ''you'' want!?
: '''Circe:''' Things in Abysus- they're bad, Rex. I need your help.
: '''Rex:''' Oh, well, how do I put this nicely? Not a chance! You made your choice, Circe! I made mine. End of story.
: '''Circe:''' Please, Rex. I know you're mad at me, but this is a matter of life and death.
: '''Rex:''' A lot of things are right now. Nice talking to you.
: '''Circe:''' Rex!?
: (''Looks crestfallen'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I didn't know you were still in touch with Circe.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, me neither. Can we please stop talking about this?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Holiday:''' She's very pretty.
: '''Rex:''' She works for Van Kleiss. She's the enemy. 
: '''Holiday:''' But you still like her, don't you?
: '''Rex:''' I am ''not'' talking about this!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' Rex, thank you.
: '''Rex:''' I'm not doing this for you. But...your welcome. (''Circe similes hopefully'') So what exactly am I supposed to do?
:'''Holiday:''' When I said you were the key, I meant that literally. According to the plans, the machine needs to be turned on by a molecular level. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' You ''lied'' to me!!
: '''Circe:''' You wouldn't have come if I told you the truth.
: '''Rex:''' This wasn't about you needing ''me''!! This is about you needing Van Kleiss!!
: '''Circe:''' I need you both. Please, Rex, you don't understand.
: '''Rex:''' No!! ''You'' don't understand!! Van Kleiss is gone and I intend to keep it that way!!
: '''Biowulf:''' You destroyed us all!!
: '''Six:''' Don't even breathe.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' You don't know what you've done.
: '''Rex:''' Then, I guess we're even.
: '''Circe:''' You've never understood his power. Van Kleiss kept us safe here. His force was the only thing keeping Abysus together, and you destroyed that.
: '''Rex:''' We're done here!!
: '''Holiday:''' Rex, I think she's right. Nanites operate on a molecular level. If they bonded with Van Kleiss, breaking off his connection must have caused a splinter; resulting in a disastrous chain reaction.
: '''Rex:''' I'm ''not'' bringing him back! ''Not now, not ever!!'' Besides, you don't need Van Kleiss! You have me!! Why not go straight to the source?!
:'''Holiday:''' Rex, no!
:'''Six:''' Stand down! It's too dangerous!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Let go of me!!
: '''Holiday:''' If you keep fighting these unstable nanites, they're going to destroy you!
: '''Rex:''' And if I don't they'll destroy everybody else.
: '''Holiday:''' Not if you listen to me! I have an idea. It's a long shot. Instead of fighting the nanites, ''communicate'' with them.
: '''Six:''' You want to talk to the nanites?
: '''Holiday:''' He's done it before.
: '''Rex:''' Never anything this big.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I got you! Don't let go!! (''Rex struggles to save Circe from falling as she clings to him; tears fill her eyes''). ''Circe!!'' (''as she falls into the black goop of highly unstable nanites'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' ''Circe!'' Six! Dr. Holiday! Okay, you win. (''technopathically starts the machine''). Something's...not right.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Circe! Come on, breathe!
: '''Circe''' (''coughs weakly'')''':''' Hey.
: '''Rex:''' Hey.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Stay with us, Circe. Van Kleiss is done.
: '''Circe:''' As much as I care about you, Rex, Van Kleiss and the Pack are my family. They took me in when no one else would. I can't abandon them.
: '''Rex:''' So that's it. We're always going to be on opposite sides.
: '''Circe:''' It does keep it interesting.

===The Swarm===
:'''Rex''' (thinking'')''':''' ''Gotta stay under. Not sure I can...make it.
:(''Has visions of those most dear to him: Noah, his crush Circe, Holiday, Six, Bobo)

===Basic===
===The Plague===
===Promises, Promises===
:''Note:'' This episode depicts how young Rex had joined Providence via Six's [[w:flashback episode|memories]].
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:''[Six narrates over imagery of the Nanite Event.]''
:'''Six:'''	The names and faces may change, but no matter how you slice it, war is war. You pick a side and you don’t look back. I believe that now and I believed it then. What gets you in trouble is when you start second guessing. Forget what you’re fighting for and you’re finished.
:'''Diane Farrah:''' ''[Panicked screaming is heard in the background of an EVO attack]'' There’s another entity has emerged, this time in the heart of Paris. Authorities are vastly unprepared. Unless a decisive response to this pandemic is marshalled, the city will fall just as Kiev— ''[Diane Farrah gets snatched by the EVO’s web]''
:''[A Providence assault vehicle rams through police cars, from which Six appears and deals with the EVO.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Save some for me partner! How else am I gonna earn my paycheck?
:''[Knight fires off a weapon and the scene cuts to present day at Providence Headquarters.]''
:'''Providence Agents:''' Surprise!
:'''Rex:'''	So, the flu shots?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I needed an excuse to get you here. We’ll do them after cake. I’ll get you Van Kleiss! ''[Holiday swings at a pinata blindfolded before Rex crushes it with his smack hands]''
:'''Rex:''' Sorry, Doc, it was taking too long. And it was either that or throw some of your cake at it.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Holiday walks over to Six at a corner, passing him a drink]'' You’re looking festive.
:'''Six:''' It was an odd choice to pick today to be his birthday.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It is the anniversary of his new life here. He deserves a celebration, he changed everything.
:'''Six:''' Has he?
:'''Rex:''' ''[Rex jumps onto a counter, speaking to the agents surrounding him]'' Ha-hah! How about hitting The Petting Zoo for a little pin-the-tail on the raging “Rhinocesaurus”?
:'''Dr. Holiday and Six:''' No.
:'''Rex:'''	Every party has a pooper. And I got two.
:'''Providence Agents:''' ''[Providence Agents turn off the lights and bring Rex a birthday cake]'' Happy Birthday!
:'''Rex:'''	Dudes!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You should be celebrating too, Six! After all, you’re the one who started this. In a way, it’s your birthday too.
:''[Flashback to Six and Knight walking through the Petting Zoo during construction of Providence HQ.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Nyquist. Fortier. How’s the monkey business?
:'''Nyquist:''' Ha ha-larious, Knight.
:'''Fortier:''' Hey, for your information we probably saved the world today.
:'''White Knight:''' I, for one, feel safer already. ''[Knight states, looking at Bobo while Six walks towards his cage]''
:'''Bobo:''' So, green man. We meet again!
:'''Calan:''' They found him at the Kremlin this time. He was threatening to push the button unless someone brought him a thousand pounds of caviar.
:'''Bobo:''' Chimp’s gotta eat.
:'''Fortier:''' What about your little bug hunt? Give you much trouble?
:'''White Knight:''' Nothing we couldn’t handle.
:''[The EVO is transported in a cage overhead while Knight and Six walk through a hallway.]''
:'''White Knight:''' What? Not even a smile? Oh by the way, happy birthday. ''[Knight passes Six a gift]''
:'''Six:''' How did you know?
:'''White Knight:''' I’m your partner. Can’t keep much from me.
:'''Six:''' Thanks.
:'''White Knight:''' So what crawled up your coat?
:'''Six:''' I’m getting tired of all this fighting. Did you see how many there are now? Are we gonna cage the whole world?
:'''White Knight:''' ''[Knight turns around, placing a hand on Six's shoulder]'' We’re preserving the human race. ''[The door to the processing facility opens]'' Besides, who says we’re gonna cage them all?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' ''[Looking at the EVO]'' And to think, this was once spinning webs in someone’s garden. Doctor Holiday, prepare for disassembly. ''[Doctor Holiday nods and activates the procedure as per his instructions. Doctor Fell sports a wicked smile during the experiment before it disintegrates the EVO without a trace]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It’s the same exact data as last time, and the time before that; Doctor Fell, why aren’t we studying them in a natural setting?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' Only through molecular dissection will we find a way to expunge this threat. The committee agrees with me on this. If you do not approve, I can always find another assistant.
:'''White Knight:''' ''[Doctor Holiday leaves the facility in frustration with Doctor Fell]'' Bleeding hearts. They’ll get us all killed one day.
:''[Holiday walks down a hallway and drops several notes, one of which Six picks up.]''
:'''Six:''' EVO?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Exponentially Variegated Organism; a little more scientific than spoiled meat. That is what you hired guns call them isn’t it?
:'''Six:''' It's Six, and I don't use guns. You told Fell we could learn more by bringing them in alive. What did you mean?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The nanites are altering our DNA, but with the right type of research, there's no doubt they could be programmed to stop or reverse the process. Imagine a third option to this, kill-or-Contain protocol.
:'''Six:''' A third option?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' A cure.
:'''White Knight:''' ''[Knight and several other Providence agents run past Holiday after an alarm activates]'' Buckle up partner! Looks like we got ourselves a big one.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hopeless.
:''[Providence mercenaries arrive at Mexico to confront the giant mechanical EVO.]''
:'''White Knight:''' What are we looking at?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' ''[Speaking through a monitor]'' Fascinating. It appears to be bio-mechanical. I must have a closer look at this one.
:'''White Knight:''' One for the trophy case.
:'''Six:''' Wait. We may get more out of this one if we bring it in alive!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Fell:''' You're letting your emotions cloud your judgement, Six. With what we gleam from this boy, I could create tools that could inoculate the world.
:'''Six:''' Why risk it? He can already cure them! I've seen it!
:'''White Knight:''' So, what, we train him? Make him one of us?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Knight:''' We're supposed to be friends! He's a monster! What do you see in him!?
:'''Six:''' Hope.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''White Knight:''' Thanks for talking some sense into him, Doc. ''[Knight picks up Six’s katana and walks toward Rex]''
:'''Rex:''' What...what’s happening to me? ''[Rex pleas to Knight, who simply looks down at him before warning sirens go off and the facility begins to lockdown]''
:'''Dr. Fell:''' We’re all going to burn. ''[Fell escapes while Rex is craned away by Holiday on an upper level]''
:'''White Knight:''' No! ''[Knight looks back at Six who is slowly picking himself up while the remaining exits close off. In a last ditch effort, Knight carries Six and throws him through the final set of doors before they seal shut]''
:'''Six:'''	''[Six picks himself and slams his fist against the glass]'' Why?
:'''White Knight:''' I know what side I’m on. ''[Knight proudly states before getting consumed by a blinding white light and screaming in agony]''
:'''Six:'''	''[Grabbing a hold of Dr. Fell's collar Six shouts]'' Do something!
:'''Dr. Fell:''' Once the cycle starts it's impossible to shut down.
:'''Rex:'''	''[Contrary to Dr. Fell's statement, the light fades away and the electricity is subdued after Rex interfaces with a control panel]'' Impossible? Psh, right.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' How did you—-?
:'''Rex:''' Told it to turn off. And it did! Wait, where...where am I?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' ''[Speaking through a monitor]'' Doctor Holiday. Maybe you were right.
:'''Dr. Holiday:'''	Maybe you should start looking for another job.
:'''Bobo:''' ''[Within the processing chamber, Knight takes a few steps forward before collapsing]'' Hey marshmallow! Nice look! ''[Knight looks back up at Bobo with his signature bleached appearance]''
:''[Some time later, in his office White Knight speaks to Six through a monitor.]''
:'''White Knight:''' How’s the training?
:'''Six:'''	Slow.
:'''White Knight:''' Not all you hoped he’d be? ''[Rex and Bobo topple each other in a play fight while Knight continues to monologue in his office]'' Still, who would’ve thought the kinder, gentler approach would do such wonders for our profile. The notion of a cure has gotten Providence funding, and worldwide prestige. The committee's happy. Your new partner may just be the best thing this operation could have asked for. Funny, isn’t it? Because of you I can never leave this chamber. I’m now the only pure human left in the world. And the perfect poster boy to run this operation. I suppose I should thank you.
:'''Six:''' I promised him that we would help uncover his past; find his family.
:'''White Knight:''' Whatever keeps him on his leash. But if he shows the slightest sign of turning into thing again, it's all on you.
:''[Back at the party in the present, Noah is pinned down by Bobo with a bag on his head to Rex’s amusement.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Hoo-hoo-hoo! Oh my—hold him down, I’ll get the camera! ''[Rex runs to his room, and after a quick search he instead finds a long box on a corner shelf]''
:'''Six:''' Happy birthday. ''[Six walks into his room, officially greeting Rex]''
:'''Rex:'''	From you? For me? You gotta be kidding.
:'''Six:''' You, your work. It has made a real difference. I just—-
:'''Rex:'''	Yeah, I know I’m pretty great! But seriously get off the sap train, Six. It’s creeping me out. ''[Rex opens the gift to reveal the blade inside]'' Wow, Six! Thank you!
:'''Six:'''	It’s called a tanto. It’s the ceremonial blade of a samurai warrior.
:'''Rex:'''	Samurai? Awesome.
:'''Six:'''	''[Six unsheathes his own tanto and holds it against Rex’s]'' This is its twin.
:'''Rex:'''	''[Rex removes the cap from his tanto and squints at the symbol etched into the blade]'' Is that...writing?
:'''Six:'''	Bushido symbol of loyalty. It means whether for good or ill, our fates will follow the same path. This one stays with me.
:'''Rex:'''	Think this thing can cut through Holiday’s chocolate cake?
:'''Six:'''	''[Six raises an eyebrow]'' Anything’s possible.
:''[Rex puts the cap back on to the blade and camera cuts to outside of Providence headquarters, panning outward until screen fades to black.]''

===Badlands===
:'''Gatlocke:''' Do you like rules?
:'''Rex:''' Can't say I do.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Gatlocke:''' Feel that? It's quilted. This is the good kind. But I won't be able to really enjoy in ''until I have those nanites!''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Out of the Dark===
:''Note'': Rex's love interest and sweetheart Circe appears in a vision.

===Payback===
:''[In the realm of Abysus]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Humiliated... De-powered... All but destroyed. Hardly the new world I set out to build, is it?
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, a spy has made contact.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Well?
:'''Providence Spy:''' Everything is in place.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' And the boy?
:'''Providence Spy:''' He's here.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' ''[to his loyal followers]'' Soon our greatest enemy will be buried! Providence itself will be destroyed. And we'll have Rex to thank.
:'''Rex:''' Come on! Who's gonna know?
:'''Noah:''' Yeah. It would only be for a minute or two.
:'''Calan:''' You actually want me to let you fly the keep?
:''[Calan sighs]''
:'''Calan:''' Only until the next course change. And nothing fancy.
:'''Rex:''' All right, let's see what this baby can really do! Why, it wasn't me! Seriously!
:'''Both:''' Whoa!
:'''Providence Spies:''' Aah!
:'''White Knight:''' Calan, what's your status?
:'''Calan:''' Came from out of nowhere. We're being boarded. Scramble all jump jets. Mobilize for a counter-offensive.
:'''White Knight:''' This is a coordinated attack. Every major Providence outpost around the globe has been hit.
:'''Six:''' So far they've steered clear of headquarters. I'm on route to the keep now.
:'''Rex:''' Are they really that stupid? Attacking the keep with me on board? This should only take a minute.
:'''Noah:''' Wait up!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Find Rex. It goes without saying &quot;alive&quot; would be ideal. Take the ship.
:'''Providence Spy:''' Some kind of power surge. We're losing control of the helm!
:'''Calan:''' Find out where it's coming from. Doc, if you'll excuse me--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six?
:'''Six:''' Five minutes out. Prepare for an evac. I'm getting you off the ship.
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Noah:''' Again with the Smack Hands? You always open with that move. Change it up a little!
:'''Both:''' Whoa!
:'''Bobo:''' You see what you get? That's what happens when you interrupt my nap-- Bobo gets cranky!
:'''Rex:''' I learned that the hard way, too.
:'''Calan:''' All hands-- We've got intruders on deck four, five, and six. Get'em off our ship!
:'''Rex:''' Go!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Attention, Providence. The ship is ours.
:'''Rex:''' Ugh! Not even close, Van Kleiss!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Lay down your weapons, and your lives will be spared. Continue to resist and nothing survives.
:'''Rex:''' You've made I made some lame-o moves before, Van Kleiss, but this one-- classic.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Seems you may have run out of tricks. Oh, you had to know it would only be a matter of time. I've had a fair amount of time on my hands these days. ''[Restrains Rex with his gauntlet]''
:'''Rex:''' Aaaaah!
:'''Van Kleiss:'''  You took something very precious from me, Rex, and now I'll be returning the favor.
:'''Rex:''' If you want my monkey, you can forget it. 
:''[Van Kleiss starts draining nanites from Rex, causing him to squirm and scream in pain.]''
:''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It might come as a surprise that when you stole the nanites that gave my power, you left some of your behind-- Enough to tell me a few of what makes you tick. :''[Rex tries to summon a build, but nothing happens.]''
:'''Rex:''' Ungh!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:''[Rex gasps]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' You'll find that using your powers will be something of a challenge. The nanites that you so special belong to me now.
:'''Biowulf:''' What shall I do with him, master?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I have everything I need from him. I could care less. Secure the rest of the ship.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Come on! Do you really think throwing me out that hatch is the best way to get rid of me? Wouldn't it be more fun to throw me in a cage, tie me down in front of a laser?
:'''Biowulf:''' No!
:'''Rex:''' Aaaaaaaah! Wh-o-o-o-o-oa!
:'''Noah:''' What is he doing?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' This is no time to fool around, Rex.
:'''Rex:''' Happened to notice that ground coming up on his, doc? If you don't do something fast, I'm about to become part of it! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Ugh!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, are you okay?
:'''Rex:''' I think we may have a problem.
:'''White Knight:''' What do you mean &quot;they have the keep&quot;?! Blow it up!
:'''Six:''' We tried. The remote-destruct sequence has been disabled. Van Kleiss has complete control of it.
:'''White Knight:''' Give me some good news.
:'''Six:''' We know where it's heading. Here.
:'''Biowulf:''' This is the commanding officer. We found him attempting to destroy this ship.
:'''Calan:''' What's your game, Van Kleiss?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, a very good question-- One that depends entirely on what happens next, Captain. It seems my powers have made a slight... change.
:'''Rex:''' Well? They're gone, aren't they? Van Kleiss took all my active nanites.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Not exactly. I found this. Definitely a nanite, but it's unlike anything I've ever seen. Molecular scans seems to indicate it's some kind of control-nanite.
:'''Rex:''' But with nothing to control.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' With a large enough concentration of nanites, we might be able to jump-start it. But even with that, there's no guarantee it would replicate or even give you back the same abilities.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I hate to say it, but this one has me stumped.
:'''Rex:''' Great. Loving this.
:'''White Knight:''' If you're finished with the lost cause, we've got a bigger problem.
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, how is this possible?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' It would seem Rex's nanites have an opposite effect on me. He cured EVOs. Now I create them. Full ahead-- Ramming speed! Once we're through, we'll destroy Providence from the inside out.
:'''White Knight:''' Lock it down! I want hallways cleared and critical sections defended. They will not take this base.
:'''Rex:''' Well? What are we waiting for? Let's go stop them!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, you're in no condition to fight.
:'''Rex:''' Well, what do you expect me to do-- Hide?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Whatever it takes. That nanite inside you might be able to bring you back, but it's going to take me time to figure out how. And that's not something we have a lot of right now.
:'''Rex:''' Wow. Nice outfit.
:'''Noah:''' Got one for you, too. You get to armor up like the rest of us normals.
:'''Rex:''' Come on.
:'''Bobo:''' All right, where to?
:'''Rex:''' South Pacific.
:'''Bobo:''' That's my boy. And here I thought you'd try to pull some hero stunt. Oh, brother.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I want the White Knight. Find where he's hiding and bring him to me.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That should be everything, as long as the offsite backup holds.
:'''Six:''' Don't let it get to that.
:'''Noah:''' This is a strange place for a base.
:'''Rex:''' When I have too many nanites in me, this is where I go to offload.
:'''Bobo:''' Think of it as a nanite porta-potty.
:'''Noah:''' Thanks... For that image, Bobo. So, we just put some of these nanites in you, and we're good to go?
:'''Rex:''' No. They're inactive. Or at least stripped of their programming. Since I can't control them, I just have to hope that whatever this thing is inside me can't.
:'''Noah:''' So... What happens if it can't?
:'''Bobo:''' Let me put it this way-- The last guy who went swimmin' in that soup ended up a 50-foot freak show.
:'''White Knight:''' Listen to me carrefully, Van Kleiss.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I'd rather not.
:'''White Knight:''' Where are they?
:'''Six:''' The inner perimeter has been compromised. They're coming.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Ugh! Ungh!
:''[Skalamander roars]''
:''[Skalamander roars]''
:'''Biowulf:''' Open it.
:'''Rex:''' Okay. Bobo, set the thing to &quot;vent&quot; and go. If this doesn't work, I don't want you getting caught in the blast.
:'''Bobo:''' No.
:'''Noah:''' Forget it. Rex, at least think about his for a sec. What if it wipes your memory? What it turns you into some evil monster?
:'''Rex:''' My friends need me. There's nothing more to think about. Bobo, do it.
:'''Bobo:''' Long odds, pay big.
:''[Bobo groans]''
:'''Six:''' You've overstayed your welcome.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, here's someone who would make a nice addition to our EVO ranks.
:'''Six:''' Go ahead and try. Ugh!
:''[Six groans]''
:'''Rex:''' Trying to do my job for me, Six? Here's a thought-- When your top henchman can't even get rid of someone by throwing him out of a moving plane, time to rethink the help.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' You are determined-- I'll give you that. If it's what you prefer, I'll finish you myself.
:'''Rex:''' Maybe.
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa! Cool!
:'''Bobo:''' See? I told you it would work.
:'''Six:''' This is an unexpected surprise.
:'''Rex:''' Well, by now, you should expect the unexpected from me, Six.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ungh!
:''[Skalamander roars]''
:''[Dr. Holiday grunts]''
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Noah:''' Is that what I think it is?
:'''Bobo:''' Not anymore.
:'''Noah:''' You think there might be more of them?
:'''Bobo:''' Eh... Probably.
:''[Biowulf grunts]''
:''[Biowulf growls]''
:'''Biowulf:''' Aaaaaaah!
:'''White Knight:''' I use that electromagnet to trap stray nanites. You're lucky it's on the lowest setting. Any higher, and it would rip the nanites right out of your body.
:''[Biowulf grunts]''
:'''Biowulf:''' Then why don't you?
:'''White Knight:''' Because then I wouldn't be able to do this.
:'''Skalamander:''' No one can help you. You're all alone now.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Not exactly. We still have my sister.
:''[Skalamander grunting]''
:''[Rex and Van Kleiss grunts]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Aaaaah!
:'''Rex:''' No way!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ungh!
:'''Rex:''' Once again, epic fail. I'll take my nanites back now.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh!
:'''Noah:''' Rex, wait!
:'''Bobo:''' Van Kleiss left behind a few presents.
:'''Rex:''' No time to look everywhere. I'm shutting everything down.
:'''Noah:''' You can do that?
:'''Rex:''' Don't know. Never tried. Anything else? No?
:'''Calan:''' Whew! I never want to do that again. No, sir.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Amazing.
:'''Rex:''' Why, thank you.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I was talking about the nanites. That was a risky move, Rex, but it worked. As far as I can tell, you're back to your old self.
:'''Rex:''' I don't know. Something feels different. That new build-- I think I can do even more. It's like I can see the blueprints. I just need to figure out how to put it all together.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' White Knight in person. Never thought I'd see the day.
:'''White Knight:''' Well, don't get used to it. We found all the explosives. The base and the keep will need extensive repairs. This was not our finest hour.
:'''Rex:''' What are you talking about? We kicked butt! So what if Van Kleiss is back and more powerful than ever? So am I! If he wants a nanite war, let him bring it!
:''[White Knight laughs]''
:'''White Knight:''' It's good to have your back, Rex.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You know, I think he actually means it.
:'''Rex:''' Sure he does. So, tell me something, guys-- What's next?

==Season Two (2011)==
===Rampage===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' I'll give you the recap. Thanks to these microscopic machines called nanites, I can build cool gear out of my body. I'm what's called an EVO. But most evo's aren't lucky like me. They usually look like this. ''[laughing]'' I know what you're thinking. And they smell bad, too. There's one other thing I can do that makes me even more special. Some EVOs, I can cure. That's why I work for Providence. We're the people you call when an evo is tearing up your lawn or attacking a city. And the worst of them is this guy... Van Kleiss. The last time we fought, things got a little out of hand. I'll admit it... we pretty much got our tails handed to us. He steals the key, wrecks headquarters, hijacks my nanite to get back the powers I took away from him. And now he can actually make people into EVOs. Then, to top it off, he has his dog boy Biowulf throw me, overboard at 6,000 feet. Not that anyone's keeping score. Sure, Van Kleiss may be back, but so am I. So what if he can make EVOs? I can still cure them. He may have new powers, but guess what... I do, too. Ever since my powers came back, I've got the ability to make amazing new machines. Now I just have to figure out how to build more.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' If you're trying to check up on me, Six, the answer's still a big fat... ''[imitates buzzer]'' I can't figure out how to make this new build.
:'''Six:''' It might take some time, but you'll get it.
:'''Rex:''' And meanwhile, Van Kleiss is out there doing who knows what. I wish they'd hurry up and get the H.Q. Rebuilt. You're not still living out of your jump jet like some ninja hobo, are you?
:'''Six:''' My temporary accommodations are perfectly adequate.
:'''Rex:''' Yep. Still living in the jet. ''[Groans]'' I hate being kicked out of our house. Although, as long as they're building stuff, I need a hot tub.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;I was wondering when you and your hair would show up again, Van Kleiss.&quot;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Back to your old self again, I see. And how are those new abilities developing?&quot;
:'''Rex:''' Just fine. Thanks for asking.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Don't you have anything better to do with your life then come after me all the time?&quot;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' &quot;Funny you should ask.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Doc? How are those biometrics looking now?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Give it a try.
:'''Rex:''' Ah, yeah! It's about time! Machines work. I just hope the important part does.
:'''Noah:''' What just happened?
:'''Rex:''' Do you remember anything?
:'''Noah:''' It all kind of hazy. I mostly remember the feeling of... Fun. And I remember you punching me in the face.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah. Sorry about that. I thought you were trying to eat me. Come on. We've got a rat to catch. Why so happy? Is this the part where breach shows up and rescues you?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Actually, no. This is the part where she takes your inadequately guarded fuel core.
:'''Six:''' Six to post, what's your status? Six to post.
:'''Rex:''' Another decoy?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I should share some of the credit with your friend over here. He played the part to perfection.
:'''Noah:''' Gee, thanks.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, this would be the part where Breach shows up.
:'''Noah:''' I can't believe I did all this. Sounds like I had the time of my life.
:'''Rex:''' ''[laughing]'' It almost became your life. Sorry about that.
:'''Noah:''' Are you kidding? Just knowing I was a rampaging evo is cool. I wish I could have remembered at least some of it.
:'''Rex:''' It's probably all over the news if you want a replay... At least until you stepped on the news van.
:'''Noah:''' Well... ''[Exhales sharply]'' Guess it's back to quadratic equations.
:'''Rex:''' I have no idea what those are. I've got somewhere I need to be. See you later. I know. I'm not supposed to be here. I don't care if it's a construction zone. I'm moving back.
:'''Six:''' It's all right. Turns out you're not the only one who feels that way. You'll get used to the cold showers. Food, you're on your own. From the top?
:'''Rex:''' From the top.
:'''Six:''' What were you trying to build, anyway?
:'''Rex:''' A water jet. Oh, by the way, I need a new cellphone.
:'''Six:''' Yes?
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' It's after my glasses again.
:'''Six:''' Glasses?
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' This time I am serious. Now, when are you going to send someone out here?
:'''Six:''' Ma'am, I'm...
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' Do you even work for Providence?
:'''Six:''' Yes, I work for Providence.
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' What kind of a flimflam outfit is this?
:'''Six:''' How did you get this number?

===Wasteland===
===Tough Love===

===The Lost Weekend===
:'''Kenwyn:''' What did you to Skwydd?
:'''Mouse:''' Just shedding a light light on how dangerous his kind can be.
:'''Rex:''' By juicing his powers? What were you thinking?
:'''Mouse:''' Most inorganic material explodes when given that kind of molecular jolt, but not not nanites. They convert the energy into power that amplifies an E.V.O.'s abilities to tremendously uncontrollable levels.

===Star-Crossed===

===Alliance===
:'''Rex:''' ''[to himself]'' And he brought his Pack flunkies. Biowulf, Skalamander, Breach. Circe? Gotta hurry. Their headed straight for... someplace else. Gonna find out where.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Holiday:''' Rex why aren't you fixing that shield regulator?
:'''Rex:''' Hint. You may remember him from such schemes as destroying Providence headquarters, and trying to take over the entire Earth.
:'''Holiday:''' Van Kliess, in there? You're right. You should investigate after you fix the shield.
:'''Rex:''' Then it might be too late.
:'''Holiday:''' She's there, isn't she?
:'''Rex:''' Who? Breach? Yeah, but...
:'''Holiday:''' A quick recon and that's it.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Intriguing. An entire urban branch of EVO. development.
:'''Biowulf:''' This place is a waste of our time.
:'''Circe:''' Van Kleiss knows what he's doing. It's not your place to question.
:'''Biowulf:''' Question?! You dare accuse me of disloyalty?!
:'''Circe:''' Sorry. Get a grip!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' You're right, you know. We should be down there with him. What is he up to anyway?
:'''Biowulf:''' I do not know.
:'''Circe:''' You don't know? I thought he trusted you with everything.
:'''Biowulf:''' Of course he does! He just--
:'''Rex:''' Hey! Easy on the stealth suit, which apparently, isn't so stealthy.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''NoFace:''' Invaders have come before. They brought only pain.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' It is a pain we both share. The same Providence outsides attacked my lands, destroyed my army.
:'''NoFace:''' There was one who tormented us, humiliated us. The grower of machines.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ah, Rex. Another thorn we share. My proposal is simple: You control a formidable legion. I, in turn, can provide the escape and the vengeance you seek. I can be your liberator. You can be my general. Together we will crush our enemies, starting with the one you hate most. Now are we--
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, I have a report.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' ''[irritated]'' This is a private conversation. Can't you handle the sightest detail without bothering me?
:'''Biowulf:''' Of course, Master. It was nothing.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Here comes the moment when our brave hero sweeps the girl of her feet! Literally!
:'''Biowulf:''' Don't let him.
:'''Circe:''' Hey! Let--
:'''Rex:''' ''[flies off with Circe in his arms]''' See you around, henchie!
:'''Biowulf:''' ''[to Skalamander]''  Follow them.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' Down, now!
:'''Rex:''' Not till we hear each other out!
:'''Circe:''' Sure! I'll go first. 
:''[Breaks the Bogie Pack with a hypersonic burst, causing them to fall]''
:'''Rex:''' Oh, great. Way to go, Circe.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' ''[to himself]'' Our hero pursues the girl of his dreams, heedless of her attempts to break his heart... along with the rest of him. Circe, just one minute, okay? Look-No powers!
:'''Circe:''' One minute! But if this is about leaving the Pack--
:'''Rex:''' Please. I'm way past that. There are bigger things going here than who you hang out with.
:'''Circe:''' Fifty seconds!
:'''Rex:''' I wasn't sent here to spy on you. I'm here to stop these things from ever getting out.
:'''Circe:''' Forty! Why are you telling me this? You know who I am!
:'''Rex:''' You've seen the things that live here. Whatever deal you think Van Kleiss is making, it's going to turn out bad for everyone.
:'''Circe:''' Thirty seconds!
:'''Rex:''' I do know who you are, Circe. Just for once think for yourself. Maybe your perfect leader could actually be wrong, maybe even a bit crazy, nuts, certifiably insane!
: '''Circe:''' Shut up! Twenty! Talk about blinded. Did you ever wonder why Van Kleiss is so interested in you?
:'''Rex:''' Oh, I don't know. Maybe he wants me dead?
:'''Circe:''' Not anymore. Something has changed, Rex. Ever since you got your powers back, I hear him talking. Saying you have something that's the key to everything. For whatever reason, he needs you alive. I know it, Rex. He'd never let you be killed.
:'''Rex:''' Never, huh?
:'''Circe:''' Time's up! 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Now this looks like a party.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Rex, you never cease to amaze me.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''No-Face:''' Defiler! Give him to us!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now do you believe I can deliver what I say? Will yoh agree to my leadership?
:'''No-Face:''' We agree to it! Give him to us! Now! Now! Now!
:'''Circe:''' ''[very shocked]''' Van Kleiss, I didn't bring Rex here so that you could-- He'll kill him!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Never forget how I found you, Circe. What you were... before. He's yours. 
:''[Tears well up in Circe's eyes; thoroughly horrified that her master would calmly allow Rex's life to be put at risk]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' ''[weakly]''' Is this what you wanted? 
:''[Collapses from his inquiries, causing Circe to open her eyes]''
:'''Circe''' ''[tearful, pleading]'': Stop this! Please! You need him alive!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Alive, yes. Heart pumping, lungs breathing, but his mind? The less there's left of that, the better. Circe, I warn you: Lift so much as a finger to help him, and you're finished!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' You, Biowulf, even me. We're all just means to an end for him. He doesn't really care for any of us.
:'''Rex:''' So you finally figured that out. Better late than never, I guess.
:'''Circe:''' It's not too late! Not if I have anything to say about it!
:''[Extends her fleshly and grotesque EVOs mouth]''
:'''Bobo:''' Whoa! Whoa! There are some of us who might not like the sound of whatever you're about to do!
:'''Circe:''' I'll adjust the frequency to exclude friendly EVOs.
:'''Bobo:''' Does that include me?
:'''Circe:''' For now. 
:''[Uses her melodious, hypnotic singing to call back the EVOs escaping]''
:'''Rex:''' I thought you said you could filter it.
:'''Circe:''' It's not an exact science. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' Van Kleiss.
:'''Rex:''' Breach'll get him out... eventually. But right now he's in there, you're out here. You don't have a better opportunity to consider your options.
:''[Notice the two of them holding hands and let go, blushing]''
:'''Bobo:''' What is it stealing from our own people that's so dang satisfying?
:'''Circe:''' You forget to remove the tracker. I'm not going to Providence.
:'''Rex:''' Doesn't matter where you go. All that matters is that you want to go there. That said. I hear Hong Kong's nice this time of year.

===Robo Bobo===
===Divide By Six===
:'''One''': ''[Speaking through Rex]'' Six.
:'''Six''': One?
:'''One''': You left this place, quit life as a mercenary and so rarely returned to visit.
:'''Six''': I did what I felt was right, I never meant to dishonor.
:'''One''': So rarely, that I never had time to tell you how proud you've made me.
:'''Six''': ''[Takes off his glasses for the first time in the series]'' We're going to help you. We're going to take you home.
:'''One''': But Six, I  am home. ''[Rex falls unconscious while One's body starts changing. Eventually his body dissolves and fertilizes the entire island to its former splendor]''
: '''Six:''' He's still One. He's just one with everything.
===Mixed Signals===
: '''Rex:''' Whoa, big guy! Someone needs to ease off on the cheeseburgers.
: '''Six:''' Skip the insults. Start the containment.
: '''Rex:''' Like its feelings are going to get hurt. One bad and ugly going down. What?
: '''Six:''' Rex? Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Cool!
: '''Six:''' You want to explain this?
: '''Rex:''' I don't know. It's like some weird vision of this thing filled my head, then built itself out of me. Maybe the vision came from Blobbo. Maybe it's trying to talk to me. Come on, big boy. Send me some more pictures. What's on your mind?
: '''Six:''' Groceries. That's what's on its mind.
: '''Rex:''' I'm skipping. I'm over it. That vision must have been a fluke.
: '''Six:''' All right, then. We're going with a two-prong attack. Use caution. This kind of EVO might be a splitter. Rex! Snap out of it!
: '''Rex:''' Whoa! Whoa! Ha! I wasn't supposed to do that, right?
: '''Six:''' Rex, I want you back at HQ.
: '''Rex:''' But I feel okay now. And we've got, um-- Two blobs to put down.
: '''Six:''' Now!
: '''Holiday:''' No trace of any recent electrochemical or DNA abnormalities. Everything reads normal.
: '''Rex:''' But it's like the visions were being transmitted, and I was seeing it from a nanite point of view.
: '''Holiday:''' I can't track it, Rex. There's no sign of signal displacement or a nano disturbance. Maybe we should consider the possibility that this is psychological.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Pizza.
: '''Holiday:''' I think he's having another vision.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Of lunch?
: '''Rex:''' With pineapple and salmon.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Blech! He is nuts.
: '''Holiday:''' Aside from a strange choice in pizza toppings, all readings are normal. I can't explain it.
: '''Rex:''' Well, if my nanites are trying to get me to build something, maybe we should give them what they want.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Whatever it is, I'm not eating it. Is that my electric toothbrush?
: '''Rex:''' It better not be the one I've been using.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Oh.
: '''Rex:''' This is what I'm seeing in my head. As stupid as it looks. It's like someone or something is sending me instructions to build some big device.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Or build a pizza with pineapple and salmon.
: '''Rex:''' Okay. I'm not sure about that vision.
: '''Holiday:''' Is that my hairdryer?
: '''Rex:''' I just need to figure out what it does. Maybe it's a time machine. Or-- Or alien technology!
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Maybe it's just a big pile of junk. Or a way to order a really awful pizza.
: '''Contraption Voice:''' Target acquired.
: '''Holiday:''' Rex!
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Wake up!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Provindece Soldier #1:''' Hey, where do you think you're going? We've got a security breach. Front floor.
: '''Providence Soldier #2:''' Lockdown protocols enabled. All hands report to duty station. Security speed, take position.
: '''Rex:''' Sorry, guys. I might be a little... late.
: '''Caesar:''' Case compression. Release.
: '''Rex:''' Figures I'd build a machine with a serious attitude problem.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[taking off his helmet and turns to Rex]'' Rex, is that you?
: '''Rex:''' Who’s asking?
: '''Caesar:''' It’s me, Caesar, your brother! Mijo! ''[Hugs Rex]'' You're alive and... older. ''[Rex is dumbfounded]'' Uh. Atomic clock was right... ''[spanish accent]'' Es una problema grande.
: '''Rex:''' Uh, yeah. ''[Pushes Caesar]'' It is a big problem.
: '''Caesar:''' What is this place? Who are you people? ''[to Rex]'' I'm getting you out of here!
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Sorry, amigo. Put your hands up. Or don't. I got a clear shot either way.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[is looking at Bobo]'' A talking chimp?
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Don't bother. I've heard all the jokes.
: '''Caesar:''' Have they hurt you? Are you okay? Stand aside.
: '''Rex:''' Hello? Do I get a say in this?
: '''Holiday:''' If you're part of some elaborate plan to kidnap Rex, then you failed.
: '''Caesar:''' Listen, bonita, you don't wanna make me use this.
: '''Rex:''' ''[gets in between them]'' Enough! Normally around here when someone barges in talking crazy, they get around into the deck plates by my giant fists. But you seem legit. I'm going with him.
: '''Holiday:''' Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Okay, brother. Lead the way. So if you are my brother, where have you been all this time?
: '''Caesar:''' I'll explain later when we're safe.
: '''Rex:''' Uh, this is Providence. We are safe. Usually.
: '''Caesar:''' Providence? Never heard of it. To be honest, the last five years has been a bit of a blur.
: '''Rex:''' I want to believe you, but I'm gonna need some proof.
: '''Caesar:''' Your name is Rex Salazar. Our parents are Violetta and Raphael. The last time I saw you was at the Applied Nanite Research Lab in Abysus; right before those fools triggered a replication cycle.
: '''Rex:''' And I have total amnesia so, for all I know, that could be completely bogus.
: '''Caesar:''' There's a scar on the back of your left knee you got when you were seven, riding the gantry arm in the reactor annex.
: '''Rex:''' Hmm. I always wondered how I got that.
:''[they go out and Rex notices Caesar Salazar's pod laboratory]''
: '''Rex:''' Whoa. Nice wheels.
: '''Six:''' ''[Comes out and unsheathed his swords]'' Don't even think about it.
: ''[Caesar is about to attack but Rex stops him]''
: '''Rex:''' It's okay. Six isn't going to hurt you. Right, Six? You're comming in a little late on this, but, uh, this is Caesar, my brother, and he wants to get me out of here. So, let's just let my brother have his way and see where this all goes. Wherever you plan on going, they're going to follow us. You know that, right?
: '''Caesar:''' They can try.
: '''Rex:''' I don't know. Providence ship are pretty fast.
: '''Six:''' Track Rex's bio signature and find out who that guy really is.
: '''Rex:''' You ain't kidding. This thing moves fast. A-are we in the arctic?
: '''Caesar:''' How do you think I got to your location so quickly once the locator signaled me?
: '''Rex:''' Locator? You sent me the schematics to build that thing? It tried to crush me like a bug!
: '''Caesar:''' Sorry, mijo. I wasn't really trying to hurt. ''[scans Rex's body]'' I was looking for what's hiding inside of you. ''[showing Rex the result]'' The Omega One Nanite.
: '''Rex:''' That thing? Holiday discovered it before. We had no idea what it was.
: '''Caesar:''' I sent signal instructions for the Omega One to track and contain. But since the nanite has integrated into your DNA, you became the conduit for building the machine. What I don't get is how the Omega One got inside of you. Rylander was supposed to have that under lock and key.
: '''Rex:''' Rylander? He's the one who put it inside me.
: '''Caesar:''' Why would he do a thing like that? I'm really gonna have to let old fool have it when I see him.
: '''Rex:''' Not possible-- Courtesy of Van Kleiss.
: '''Caesar:''' Van Kleiss?! What does that third-rate lab hack have to do with this?
: '''Rex:''' What? I guess I’m not the only one who needs an update. Where have you been?
: '''Caesar:''' It's a long story-- actually, short by my clock. A splinter group had formed at the lab. They had other ideas about how the nanites would be used. We tried to stop them, and you were hurt. The only way to save your life was an infusion of nanites. It was risky, but it worked. We thought that'd be enough to stop the others, make them see the right path. But we were wrong. Mom and Dad were in the reactor. As for me, I managed to escape in my lab. But the shock wave, the same shock wave that probably blanked your memory.... also interfered with engine that powers this pod. I was stuck in sub-light drive.
: '''Rex:''' How long?
: '''Caesar:''' Fifteen minutes. That's how long it took me to reboot the system. But at the speed I was going, it was 5 years of your time. I knew there was an accident, but I had no idea how bad. My nanite sensors were off the charts. My 1st priority was to insure the OM-1 was safe. That was our promise. And here we are. So, what have I missed these past five years?
: '''Rex:''' Providence? We need to talk. They can wait.
: '''Caesar:''' So let me understand, there are EVOs and Van Kleiss claimed as their leader?
: '''Rex:''' Well, not for all of them, yet. I want to know about me, about our parents.
: '''Caesar:''' They were scientists. We lived all over the world. Things settled down when you came along. That was in Geneva.
: '''Rex:''' Wait a second. Are you saying I'm Swiss?
: ''Caesar:'' Not really. Mother was born in Mexico City. Father in Buenos Aires.
: '''Rex:''' And they're really... gone? ''[Caesar slowly nods sadly]''
: '''Rex:''' Um, where exactly did this ship take us?
: '''Caesar:''' What do you know?We're back at the original lab site.
: '''Rex:''' You mean the one in Abysus?
: '''Caesar:''' Is that a problem?
: '''Rex:''' I'd say just a small one. We should go, like now.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[typing]'' Hmm... Must be low on charge.  ''[walks out the door]'' We may be stuck, but on the bright side, I can take a look at some of these variegated organisms. ''[goes out]''
: '''Rex:''' Caesar! Wait!
: ''[outside and observing the EVOs]''
: '''Caesar:''' Fascinating. We theorized mutations might occur but never anything this random.
: ''[Rex hits the EVO before they got near Caesar]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Sorry, bro, but these guys--
: ''[Rex hits another EVO]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Usually don't sit still for questions.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[seeing Rex's new build]'' Hmm... That's new.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Guess I've learned a--
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' A few tricks. But they still won't be enough if Van Kleiss shows up with all his goons. Six!
: '''Six:'''We're locked onto you. The keep is already on its way.
: '''Rex:''' Your ship may be out of juice, but I'm not. Hop on. I can get us out of here.
: '''Caesar:''' I won't leave my lab, and you definitely don't want Van Kleiss getting his hands on some of the things in here. I'll try to reroute the capacitors to an alternate power source.
: '''Caesar:''' Oh, you wanna see a photo of you, me, and papi? Maybe later.
: '''Rex:''' You're a little off, aren't you, Caesar? 
: '''Biowulf:''' What was that machine it flew off with?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' A laboratory. One I thought I'd never see again. It seems an old friend has returned-Caesar.
: '''Rex:''' Providence isn't so bad now, eh, hermano?
: '''Caesar:''' Is this a Grinnell? They always made good consoles, except for the random power surges.
: '''Six:''' Well?
: '''Rex:''' Everything's cool. He's a little kooky, but I'm pretty sure he's my brother.
: '''Six:''' Glad to hear it. Now I need you back. We still have some unfinished business.
: '''Rex:''' Got to get back to work.
: '''Caesar:''' My little brother, the hero. I remember when you just wanted to be a musician.
: '''Rex:''' Guitar? No, wait drums.
: '''Caesar:''' Accordion.
: '''Rex:''' You got to be kidding me!
: '''Six:''' As I recall, you started it.
: '''Rex:''' Huh?
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Six:''' The EVO is dividing faster than we can contain it. The city is being evacuated.
: '''Caesar:''' Hmm. Excuse me, admiral. I need you to take me down there immediately. Afraid I'll have to insist.
: '''Six:''' Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Are you crazy?!
: '''Caesar:''' Depends on who you ask. I had something in my lab that I thought could help.
: '''Six:''' Help? You're not even supposed to be outside the keep.
: '''Rex:''' WHOO-HOO! Way to go, bro! First day on the job, and you already got a save!
: '''Six:''' Job?
: '''Rex:''' Oh, come on, admit it, Six. He just saved our chicharrones.
: ''[Caesar laughs]''
: '''Rex:''' What? What's so funny?
: '''Caesar:''' You always make me laugh when you try to speak Spanish.
: '''Holiday:''' We've pulled his records, and I've confirmes his DNA. It seems Rex really does have a brother.
: '''White Knight:''' If everything I've read about him is true, he could be an incredible asset to Providence.
: '''Six:''' Or a major liability.
: '''White Knight:''' All the more reason to keep him with us. Give him whatever he needs.
: '''Holiday:''' White's right, Six. He knows more about nanites than anyone on the planet. He helped invent them.
: '''Six:''' My point exactly. He's settling in?
: '''Rex:''' I guess so. Caesar's a little strange. Hard to believe he's actually my brother.
: '''Six:''' I'm happy for you, Rex. You always said you wanted to find your family.
: '''Rex:''' Thanks, but... You know that? I already did. Caesar may be my brother, but you, Holiday, Bobo, you're who I have a connection with.
: '''Bobo:''' Aww, now, see, I'm getting all misty.
: '''Caesar:''' There you are. Hmm. Nice view. Say, mijo, you think your cafeteria could whip up a pizza with pineapple and salmon? I've been craving one for days.
: '''Bobo:''' Connection, huh?

===Outpost===
:'''Valentina:''' Ugh! We were returning them to their natural habitat! What Providence does is wrong and against the natural order of things! You're a traitor to your own kind.
:'''Rex:''' That's creature's job is to ''exterminate'' mankind! It wanted to kill you!

===Haunted===
===Moonlighting===
===Without a Paddle===

===Written in Sand===
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, I need an uptade.
:'''Rex''': I'm right at the edge. Anything still alive in there is trying to get away from the sandstorm.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': It's not the storm they're running from. The nanites inside them are forcing the animals away. It's creating a kind of nanite-free zone.
:'''Rex''': Ha! We should call White Knight. Maybe he'll move here and leave us all alone.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': It's no laughing matter, Rex. It could be the most significant development since the original nanite event.
:'''Rex''': Yeah, yeah. Possible cures save the world-- Got it. I'll check it out.
:'''Bobo''': Hey, doc. You may wanna get a load of this over here.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Negative. The storm is moving in too fast. Just place a sensor and pack it in.
:'''Rex''': Hey. No. It couldn't be. Rex to base. We got trouble of the egomaniacal EVO kind.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Van Kleiss is here? Why am I not surprised?
:'''Rex''': I think the real question is, if everything else is in such a race to get out, why is he going on? 
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, wait.
:'''Rex''': Don't worry, doc. It's me. What could possibly happen?
:'''Skalamander''': RARGH! PTUH! They're nothing but dirt.
:'''Biowulf''': My senses-- Useless in all this sand.
:'''Van Kleiss''': This phenomenon deserves my personal attention. What we seek is nearby. I can feel it pushing against me.
:'''Rex''': ''[Rex emerges from the sand storm]'' Yeah?
:''[Skalamander grunts]''
:'''Rex''': ''[Rex kicks Skalamander]'' How about kicking against you, too?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Rex! You're not welcome here.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': Now, that hurt my feelings!
:''[Rex groaning]''
:''[Skalamander pins him to the sand, causing him to groan in pain]''
:''[Skalamander laughs]''
:'''Rex''': Aaah! Whoa!
:'''Van Kleiss''': If I never see your face again, It will be too soon!
:'''Rex''': Yeah? The feeling's-- Whoa! Mutual!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex? Rex, do you read me?
:''[Bobo coughing]''
:'''Bobo''': Okay, we gotta get outta here. I got sand in places I didn't even know I had places.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, if you can hear me, we're retreating to the safe zone. Rendezvous with us there.
:'''Rex''': AAAAH! WHOA-OHHHHHHH!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex coughs]''
:'''Rex''': Okay, Kleiss-- Go time! No EVO allies, just you and-- Whoa! Uh, sorry, buddy. Didn't mean to bring you along for the ride.
:'''Van Kleiss''': I don't need my EVO allies, when I can simply make more.
:'''Rex''': Don't get me wrong-- I love punching stuff. But anything you can do, I can undo better! We can do this all day. Or you can just spill it.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': Why are you causing this nanite-free zone?
:'''Van Kleiss''': How convenient it must be to make me the root of all evil. I'm not causing it. I've come to discover the source and destroy it.
:'''Rex''': This could be the cure to nanites.
:'''Van Kleiss''': And I live off nanites. What Providence calls a cure, I call death.
:'''Rex''': Really? Haven't we moved past this?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Huh?
:''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
:''[After Van Kleiss creates a scorpion EVO to attack Rex, it attacks him instead.]''
:'''Rex''': That is the funniest thing I have ever seen! Hang on-- I got to get this on video. ''[Takes out cell phone and starts recording Van Kleiss dodging the scorpion EVO.]''
:''[Van Kleiss panting]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Something's wrong. I should be controlling this creature.
:'''Rex''': Stinks to be you. Huh? You ruined my shot!
:'''Van Kleiss''': I believe we've found something more interesting.
:'''Rex''': You like to point out the obvious, don't you?
:'''Bobo''': Don't get me wrong-- I love the kid, but if we don't pull stakes now, we'll be combing dust outta all sorts of places for years.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Too late. Hold on to everything that's not tied down. This is going to be a bumpy... ride.
:'''Six''': Holiday? I trust you're all right?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': I'm fine, Six. But Rex is still out there-- With Van Kleiss. I can't reach him.
:'''Six''': We'll prep a rescue party. Prepare to come aboard.
:'''Rex''': Hey!
:'''Van Kleiss''': This is not simply a nanite-free zone. Something is stealing the nanites from our bodies. If we linger here too long, we may both find ourselves defenseless against the other.
:'''Rex''': Well, then, we'd better blow this joint. And when I say &quot;we&quot; I mean &quot;me&quot;.
:''[Rex tries to escape and fails]''
:'''Rex''': AAAAAAAAH!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': If either of us is to escape this place, we will have to work together.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': What exactly are you suggesting?
:'''Van Kleiss''': A temporary truce.
:'''Rex''': An extremely temporary truce.
:'''Van Kleiss''': We'll work our way to the center of the nanite storm.
:'''Rex''': No, we work our way out of the nanite storm and get Providence in here to figure out what's happening.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Providence? They can't be trusted.
:'''Rex''': Them? Didn't you try to take over New York? And Europe? And the world?
:'''Van Kleiss''': You need to listen to me, Rex. Without a powers, you're nothing but a child.
:'''Rex''': Oh, yeah? Truce over! Okay. This is awkward. Hey, is it just me, or are you getting really dust?
:'''Van Kleiss''': It's happening faster than I thought.
:'''Rex''': What's happening faster? If you know something, you'd better spit it out, or-- Whoa! It all looks fossilized. Like it's made completely out of... sand.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Not only are there no nanites here, this is pure silicone. There are no other elements-- No carbon, calcium, hydrogen. It appears that this zone not only destroys nanites, but is--
:'''Rex''': Squeezing the life from the Earth. This isn't sand. This is me!
:''[Rex whimpering]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': These glyphs-- There's something familiar about them. Sumatran? Mesopotamian?
:'''Rex''': Less geeking, more escaping!
:'''Van Kleiss''': We need to find the epicenter of this maze. These glyphs may hold the answer.
:'''Rex''': Only if one says &quot;exit sign.&quot;
:'''Van Kleiss''': No need to panic, Rex. We have at least twenty minutes before fossilization-- Give or take.
:'''Rex''': &quot;Don't panic&quot;-- Says the guy who used to be dirt.
:''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
:'''Rex''': We're turning into walking litter boxes, and you're checking out caveman graffiti? No wonder I'm always kicking your butt.
:'''Van Kleiss''': You don't have an investigative bone in your body, do you? So strongheaded-- Just like your mother. ''[Rex is silent]'' No, you don't like that, do you-- That I know more about you than you do?
:'''Rex''': Skip the head games. Isn't exactly a good time.
:'''Van Kleiss''': No, but perhaps it is time for some truth. We may perish down here, Rex. Ask me anything you want about the past, and I'll answer it.
:'''Rex''': ''[looks at his own slowly fossilizing body]'' Sell it somewhere else. I'm not buying.
:''[walks away]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Oh, so the great and powerful Providence has finally come through on their promise to help you remember your past.
:'''Rex''': Something better-- Someone who was actually there at the Nanite Event.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Aha. Your brother, Caesar.
:''[Van Kleiss chuckles evilly]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': I've been following you both very closely since his... miraculous reappearance. Even if you don't want to hear what I have to say, this one's for free. Do not place your trust in Caesar. He's not the man you believe him to be.
:'''Rex''': ''[creates his BFS and holds it at Van Kleiss' throat]'' What are you getting at?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Oh, no, no. That's not how this works. It isn't my turn. Quid pro quo, Rex. If you want to know more-- Why don't we start with something simple? Rylander's Omega Nanite. I know it's inside you.
:'''White Knight''': Status uptade?
:'''Six''': Still no fix on Rex. Scanners can't cut through the storm, so we're moving in to stage a recon.
:'''White Knight''': I will not risk everyone on board that ship for one agent. Not even that agent.
:''[Holiday subtly ends the call. Then to Six]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Whoops. Guess the satellite feed went down. Nasty sand.
:''[Six smirks]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Caesar? Wanted you to know we haven’t found him yet.
:'''Caesar''': Found who?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex.
:'''Caesar''': Right. Ah. Sorry. That was, uh, fifteen minutes ago. I've done about five hundred task since then. Try calibrating the keep's sensors to search for traces of Selenium. It's something Rex naturally gives off, like dandruff.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': I-- Really? Hmm. Okay, thanks.
:'''Van Kleiss''': So what you're saying is, the motor runs off of gravity and the only exhausts are atoms of selenium.
:'''Rex''': Now you. Squid Pro... Whatever. The nanites, the Event. What started all this?
:'''Van Kleiss''': He didn't tell you? I'm not surprised. It was Caesar.
:''[Rex pushes Van Kleiss to nearest wall and take out his BFS once again]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Wasteful, Rex.
:'''Rex''': You're lying!
:'''Van Kleiss''': Hardly. Your brother is responsible for the most significant catastrophe in human history. You have to admit that as brilliant as Caesar is, he's... not quite right. Am I telling you something that you haven't already noticed?
:''[Rex groans]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': HAAAH!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Van Kleiss coughing]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': You seem to have awoken some sort of defense mechanism.
:'''Rex''': What are they defending? Rocks?
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Before we're totally devoid of nanites, we need to end this now-- Together.
:'''Rex''': Back to back!
:'''Van Kleiss''': What?
:'''Rex''': Haven't you ever read a comic book? Back to back! No way. These markings-- They're not hieroglyphics. They're circuit boards. This whole cave, this valley-- It's one giant circuit board. These are data conduits-- Ms. Hubs!
:'''Van Kleiss''': You're right. These spirals are solid-state storage-- The standard design for a firewall in a CPU.
:'''Rex''': Did you just say I'm right? Now that I know what we're dealing with, it's a simple matter of-- Hacking in. This is malo-- Muy malo. Van Kleiss, meet the psycho computer who calls herself--
:'''Van Kleiss''': Zag-RS?
:'''Rex''': How do you know that? ''[Zag-RS notices them and attacks them]'' You know Zag-RS? How?
:'''Van Kleiss''': She was designed as a decontamination program at the original nanite laboratory. Her task was to destroy any rogue nanites that escaped from the holding tanks.
:'''Rex''': She did a great job. Whoever designed her should be taken out and beaten with a tendril.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Caesar designed her.
:'''Rex''': I'm gonna have to have a chat with my brother when this is over.
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Focus, you fool. If we're to survive this, we have to use whatever nanites we have left to shut her down.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': No problemo! Ah, come on! Stay up! Show off!
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': Well, this bites.
:''[Rex straining]''
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': Didn't I leave you in orbit? Shouldn't you have burned up in re-entry or something?
:'''Zag-RS''': Re-entry resulted in a hard desert landing. This unit faced complete system failure. Salvation came from integration with the host space station power cell, where new initiatives were established.
:'''Rex''': Turning the world into a sandbox?
:'''Zag-RS''': Correct. The prevention of organic infection by elimination of organic matter and securing the Earth core system. Soon, this world will function without flaw.
:'''Rex''': Van Kleiss! Change of plan! While, I've got Zaggy occupied, you go and warn Providence before it's too late!
:'''Van Kleiss''': There's no time. Her strength is growing exponentially. To achieve victory, you must trust me.
:'''Rex''': Trust you?! That's comedy gold! Even if I was that big of a doof, neither one of us had enough power to fight back!
:'''Van Kleiss''': That's not entirely true.
:'''Rex''': Huh?
:'''Van Kleiss''': I've not been completely honest with you.
:'''Rex''': Stunned-- Really.
:'''Van Kleiss''': The Omega Nanite within you has a self-replicating program. You can create your own nanites.
:'''Rex''': What?! Why didn't you tell me!
:'''Van Kleiss''': A calculated emission.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': No way.
:'''Van Kleiss''': There-- That is the heart of Zag-RS. Strike while you can!
:'''Rex''': Oh, yeah! Now we're talking! Normally, I don't fight girls, but this time I'll make... A big... giant... robot exception!
:'''Dr. Holiday''': I found him, Six-- twenty kilometers northeast. There's a huge spike in trace selenium.
:'''Six''': Charge all weapons.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': The storm's starting to break. But please don't crash.
:'''Rex''': YAAAH!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': That's not fair! It worked in the movie!
:''[Rex whimpers]''
:''[Rex groaning]''
:'''Rex''': AAAH!
:'''Zag-RS''': You have miscalculated, human. The more nanites you replicate, the more energy you supply me. 7.5 seconds until I overtake your production.
:''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
:'''Zag-RS''': 4.3 seconds.
:'''Van Kleiss''': AAAAAAAAAH!
:'''Rex''': YAAAAAAH! One psycho robot down, one supervillain to chicken! Finally!
:'''Bobo''': What, you never heard the term &quot;fashionably late&quot;?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Your nanite-replicating function seems to be working well. Most of Zag-RS' alterations have been expunged.
:'''Rex''': Meaning... What?
:'''Bobo''': You ain't gonna wash away at high tide.
:'''Caesar''': This is my design.
:'''Rex''': Great-- My brother created Zag-RS.
:'''Caesar''': Evidently. Though her evolution into some sort of sentient nanite-slayer is most curious.
:'''Six''': Curious?
:'''Rex''': What about what Van Kleiss said?
:'''Caesar''': You mean I'm to blame for the original nanite event? Why don't we ask her? Wait! Interface protocols. Code designate Zag-RS. Respond.
:'''Zag-RS''': Dr. Salazar. Good morning. How may I assist you?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Stand down, gentlemen. Zag-RS has been successfully rebooted. But her memory has been wiped clean.
:'''Rex''': What? You got to be kidding me!
:'''Caesar''': That's interesting. Hmm. Van Kleiss must have implemented a program dump before he left you. It's the only logical conclusion.
:'''Rex''': Program dump?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Do not place your trust in Caesar. He's not the man you believe him to be.
:'''Rex''': Great. So now all we've got is a lame decontamination program with a GPS lady's voice?
:'''Caesar''': GPS lady? Hardly.
:'''Rex:''' I was making a joke.
:'''Caesar''': Don't you recognize it? When I programmed her, I wanted a voice that meant safety, protection, caring. Rex, this is our mother's voice.
:'''Rex''': ''[shocked]'' Mama?

===Night Falls===
: '''Rex:''' If she's not really our grandmother, why are you calling her ''aubuela''?
: '''Caesar:''' There may not be a biological connection but she practically ran the entire town. When you were a boy, you spent every summer here.
: '''Rex:''' I wish I could remember...or any of this.
===Hard Target===
: '''Rex:''' &quot;It's Breach! She's-&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Messing with you, Rex. Did you actually see on her the other side?&quot;
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Well, no but...OK, why Hong Kong?&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Because it's on the other side of the world, because she's seriously messed up.&quot;
: '''Cricket:'''&quot; Kind of like our place.&quot; 
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Trust me. She's back in Abysus laughing it off with the rest of the Pack. Besides, I'm not that easy to find.&quot;
: (''Removes the white towel to reveal her shoulder-length black hair partly dyed a deep plum and having donned a dark gray overall dress'')
: '''Rex:''' &quot;OK, Rex. Bad intro. Take a do-over. Like the new look.&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Wow. A compliment.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Skywdd:''' &quot;And that's when Circe goes all [[w:Siren (mythology)|siren]] and blasts the bus driver's pants clean off.&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;Lucky shot. Hit the exact frequency of polyester.&quot;
:'''Tuck:''' &quot;Good thing his boxers were cotton.&quot;
:'''Rex''' (''uncomfortable'')''':''' &quot;Good one. Uh, Circe, remember when you took down that sea monster in Cabo Luna?&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;Please, Rex, I'd rather not remember that right now.&quot;
:'''Skywdd:''' Geez, Rex. Buzzkill.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Stop it.&quot;
:'''Skywdd:''' &quot;What's with him?&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;Breach lag. Let clean over his bedtime.&quot;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;That and my early morning snooze. By the way, you were right. Breach wasn't after you. She freed Quarry. Got this from the Providence security feed.&quot;
:'''Skywdd:''' &quot;Quarry?&quot;
:'''Tuck:''' &quot;He's lose?&quot;
:'''Cricket:''' &quot;Oh no.&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;You saw Breach and came back ''here!'' What if she followed you!?&quot;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Don't worry. If Breach were here, I'd feel it. She's here.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Breach:''' &quot;Hey, girlfriend.&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Get out of here, Breach!&quot;
: '''Breach:''' &quot;But Van Kleiss has so been wanting to chat.&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Then deliver a message for him! &quot;
: (''Uses her ultrasonic bursts on Breach, who creates a portal behind her, knocking her out with her own sonic abilities)''
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Let her go, Breach!!&quot;
: '''Breach:''' &quot;Oh, sorry, Rex. She's gonna save my skin. V.K.'s tough on failure, remember?&quot;
: (''Teleports away with an unconscious Circe on her shoulder'')
: '''Rex:''' &quot;NO!!&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Hold that thought. You can come out now. I got that creeped out feeling.&quot;
:'''Breach:''' &quot;Peek a boo.&quot;
: '''Skwydd:''' &quot;It's her!'' She took Circe.&quot;
: '''Rex:''' But not to Van Kleiss. You never went to Abysus, did you? You slipped her into your little pocket dimension. Let her go, Breach!
: '''Breach:''' And I agree to that...why?
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Because you wouldn't want Van Kleiss to see this. I'm thinking a trade is in order.&quot;
: (''Breach releases Circe, who is caught by Skwydd'')
: '''Circe:''' &quot;I hate you, Breach.&quot;

===A Family Holiday===
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' The pace of study has been staggeringly slow. There have been no significant advancements in nanite research since the original event. Simply put, Providence is not doing enough. What is required is not a military response, but a serious, thoughtful reaction, a scientific answer. The poor and afflicted deserve more. The world, deserves more. Let me introduce Diane. Mother of three. Diane has been diagnosed as incurable, a lost cause. Since then, she's been treated like an animal, locked away from her family... No hope on the horizon. Until now. At Moses Labs, we don't rely on tanks, guns, or secret weapons-- Only an unwavering belief that whatever science breaks, science can fix. Welcome back, Diane.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Happy birthday, little sister.
:'''Rex:''' Hope that I paid the bills. This is going to be expensive.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Caesar:''' Release the hounds.
:''[a door opens revealing some Evo hounds]''
:'''Rex:''' Huh? Whoa!
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Heh! I thought that was just a figure of speech. You're a sick puppy.
:'''Rex:''' Aah! Not cool, bro!
:''[Rex panting]''
:'''Rex:''' ''[Spanish accent]'' Agua, por favor.
:'''Caesar:''' Water second, probes first.
:'''Rex:''' No offense, but being a guinea pig is a lot less fun when it's you instead of Holiday.
:'''Caesar:''' Don't I run the biometric tests with the same efficiency?
:'''Rex:''' How are we related? Have you looked at Holiday?
:'''Bobo Haha:''' She ain't my species and even I know she's a hottie.
:'''Caesar:''' She is... very smart.
:'''Rex:''' Where is the Doc anyway? She usually can't wait to get her hands on me.
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Saw her this morning, looking pretty grim.
:'''Agent Six:''' It's her sister. Her sister's birthday to be precise. Holiday gets introspective this time of year.
:'''Caesar:''' Her sister? Oh, is she smart too?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hey guys. Can't talk. Hangar!
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Ah, human dames. I don't know how you guys keep up.
:''[Dr. Holiday pants]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Thank you for coming, Dr. Moses. It's a genuine honor.
:'''Rex:''' Who the heck is that guy? Why is Holiday acting all fangirl around him?
:'''Caesar:''' It's Dr. Brandon Moses, the leading researcher in technogenic transmorphing! If anyone's going to develop a kill  for EVOs, it's going to be him!
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Now, that's actin' fan-girl.
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Not the worst I've seen.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Can you help her?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Beverly would be an excellent candidate for my treatments. Have her transported to my facility.
:'''Rex:''' Hold up! I know you have a bunch of letters after your name, but curing EVOs is what I do. Some of them--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Some you just can't handle, Rex. Dr. Moses' research goes to places you don't, so if you don't mind-- 10 minutes, then we'll be in the air. Thank you, doctor. I've earned 5 years' worth of personal time, Knight. I plan to use it all. 
:'''White Knight:''' I don't like it, but I like your sister even less. Go for your &quot;cure&quot;, Holiday. But if it doesn't work, don't bring her back.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Agent Six:''' What do you really know about Dr. Moses?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I know what I saw.
:'''Agent Six:''' You're not taking her to the doctor for a checkup. Has he handed you supporting data?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Why won't you let me have this? It's the first glimmer of hope I've had since Rex got here.
:'''Agent Six''': I think you've lost your objectivity. If you can't help her--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That's the point! I can't! I need this cure. If you won't help me, stay out of my way!
:'''Rex:''' Any chance she's right?
:'''Agent Six:''' Hope she is.
:'''Rex:''' But we're not going to sit around and do nothing in case she's wrong, right? Today you're my sidekick-- Not a fashion-challenged soccer mom blocking my mojo. If there's any chance of playing hero for Holiday, I call dibs.
:'''Security guard:''' Dr. Moses' inventions are not for public viewing-- Especially not by Providence.
:''[Security guard grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' That &quot;soccer mom&quot; comment really got to you, huh? When did science geeks start packing heat? Huh?
:'''Agent Six:''' Check the machine.
:'''Rex:''' I'm no engineer, but as far as I can tell, all this thing does is light up and go &quot;ping&quot;. They never cured it! This was a scam!
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday's in trouble. Holiday, Moses is a fraud. There is no cure!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' What's going on here? Moses, what is this?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Business, Dr. Holiday-- Big business. Now, if you wouldn't mind stepping aside so I can collect your sister--
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday?! What's happening?!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Or don't step aside. I'm good either way.
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday! We've got our coordinates. Go!
:'''Rex:''' It's a hundred miles away!
:'''Agent Six:''' Correct.
:'''Rex:''' Hold on to your swords, old man!
:''[Dr. Holiday grunts]:''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I trusted you!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' A bad trait, a scientist. But look on the bright side-- You won't be locked in a cell anymore. That was just... Shameful.
:'''Rex:''' Be the hero. Be the hero. Be the--
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' ...Zero. You'll be a lot less grouchy in a few seconds, pal. Half cured? That's new.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' They've got Beverly.
:'''Rex:''' You wanna talk to her?
:'''Agent Six:''' Now's not the time.
:'''Rex:''' And when exactly is. She needs a friend, Six.
:'''Agent Six:''' I... prefer to keep it professional. Keeps people from getting hurt.
:'''Rex:''' Dude. Take off the sunglasses. She's already hurting. If I were you--
:''[Six gets a radio signal]''
:'''Agent Six:''' If you were me, you'd have a lead. Get Holiday. Dust off in 3.
:'''Rex:''' Where are we going?
:'''Agent Six:''' Moses may be a genius but not because he can cure EVOs. He overpowers them-- Hypercharges the nanites with excess energy to push their transformations.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That's why Rex only partially cured that EVO he stripped the EVO of its extra power. But at its core, it was still incurable.
:'''Rex:''' We learned something new today. Great.
:'''Agent Six:''' Gets worse. Moses has turned his tech into a cottage industry. He takes incurables and weaponizes them to sell to the highest bidder.
:'''Rex:''' Don't sugarcoat it, Six.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' How did you find this out?
:'''Agent Six:''' I called some former associates-- People who know things, things that good people shouldn't know about.
:'''White Knight:''' Question-- Why is my keep on an unapproved mission?
:'''Rex:''' It's cool, Knight. We're helping Holiday.
:'''White Knight:''' No! We had a deal! Return to base immediately!
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's over guys. I can't drag you down because of my mistake. I won't.
:'''Agent Six:''' Keep returning to base.
:''[Knight ends the transmission]''
:'''Agent Six:''' I said the keep is returning to base. I didn't say we'd be on the keep.
:'''Rex:''' You okay?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hanging in there.
:'''Rex:''' Hanging in there is good. I don't like to see you unhappy, you know. I-I mean--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I know what you mean. Thanks.
:'''Agent Six:''' Better luck next time.
:''[Rex gasps]''
:'''Rex:''' Jealous much, sidekick?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Who is that?
:'''Rex:''' Someone who knows things good people shouldn't.
:'''Five:''' Machine boy! Like the new ax? You owe me for the last one.
:'''Agent Six:''' We'll talk music later, Five. You have word on Moses?
:'''Five:''' Five don't lie. Your guy is running an auction-- Tonight.
:'''Agent Six:''' I owe you.
:'''Five:''' She's a lot more beautiful than you let on, Six. Try not to screw it up this time.
:'''Agent Six:''' You coming?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' The EVO is the military ordinance of the future. We all know it. You drop one of these babies into your neighbor's backyard, and it's game over. But to get the most annihilation out of your nanites... you need me.
:'''Human EVO:''' You promised to cure!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' My technology not only amps up their abilities, but, for an extra charge, will modify their behavior to suit your needs. What am I bid for this army of one?
:'''Agent Six:''' ''[Bursting in]'' I'll open with extradition for crimes against humanity!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' ''[to his bidders]'' Wait! This is just a minor disturbance.
:''[Moses groans]''
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' ''[to Holiday]'' Do you know what you just cost me, all for one hopless wreck?!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Holiday hits Moses]'' Her name is Beverly.
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Then give sissy a hug.
:'''Dr Holiday:''' No! Don't hurt her, Rex!
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, sure. Handle with care. Whoa! Can you tell her that, too?
:'''Agent Six:''' Going nowhere?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Uh, let's not be ''[chuckling]'' rash.
:''[Holiday slaps Moses]''
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' I'm gonna have to get you a dictionary. Rash will not help anyone, especially not Beverly.
:''[Holiday grabs Moses]''
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Who can still be cured.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Holiday drops Moses]'' What?
:'''Agent Six:''' ''[Brandishing his swords]'' No games. Truth or dead.
:'''Rex:''' Fight still going! Need assistance! Big time! Whoa!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' I did invent a machine that de-powered nanites, almost. But the bonds and nanite particles were too strong to break. Instead, I discovered that I could reverse the polarity to its maximum, overpowering the nanites. It's easier and-- Profitable.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' But you did isolate the bonds? So, you can break them!
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa! Ugh! Unh! Okay, I called hero, but I need some extra kick for my sidekick! Unh! Seriously!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Time to earn a return on my investments! Kill them all!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa! Whoa! 
:'''White Knight:''' I won't even bother telling you the trouble you're in. Catch those other EVOs and report to my office the moment you're back.
:'''Rex:''' What other EVO-O-O-O-Os?
:''[Rex turns around and notices the EVOs behind him]''
:'''Rex:''' Ooos?
:'''Rex:''' Think they got it?
:'''Agent Six:''' They'd better. We're busy.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Unh! Okay. That's the flux transponder. That's the nanite energizer. Don't you explode on me-- Not now. Aah!
:'''Rex:''' I'll hand the one crazed sister. You take the other. It'll be like a double date. Don't bother... your sister... while she's working!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I can see what he did, but... uh... there's no time! I can't-- I can't help her! It's over.
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday-- Rebecca-- You are the strongest, smartest woman I have ever met, and the most stubborn.
:''[Six removes his glasses and looks her in the eyes]''
:'''Agent Six:''' You never give up. If there's a way to help your sister, find it-- now!
:''[Slight pause. Holiday smiles and puts Six's glasses back on his face then leaves]''
:'''Agent Six:''' That's my girl. New plan. Corral her to the machine.
:'''Rex:''' Plans are good! Yah! What you got, Doc?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Moses was right. The polarity of the nanite energizer is wrong! I have to amplify and reverse it. But I don't have-- Six... Your magna blades-- But it would be too dangerous. Six!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six!
:'''Agent Six:''' Is it working?
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's working.
:'''Rex:''' Six, get out of there!
:'''Agent Six:''' You called hero on this one, Rex! Finish it-- For her! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Unh! Get them out, Rex-- Both of them-- Now!
:''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
:'''Rex:''' Doc! You gotta see this!
:''[Dr. Holiday panting]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[as she's trying to revive Six]'' Don't you do this to me! I will hate you forever if you--
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:''[Six coughs]''
:'''Beverly:''' Rebecca?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Beverly!
:'''Rex:''' That was... I'm... Wow! Six, I've never said it before and I'll probably never say it again, but... I'm honored to be your partner.
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Mushy stuff? Oh! Glad I missed it.
:'''Rex:''' But don't ever do anything like that again.
:'''Agent Six:''' Agreed. But you have to admit though... It was worth it.
:''[Dr. Holiday and Beverly laughs]''
:'''White Knight:''' We're not running a boarding house here. No more relatives.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I just need her for a few more tests, sir. She was only 13 when she went Evo, and she's in a fragile state.
:'''Beverly:''' Woo Hoo!
:''[Beverly laughing]''
:'''Beverly:''' Rex just took me on a ride through the Zoo on his cycle.
:'''White Knight:''' &quot;Fragile.&quot; Right.
:'''Rex:''' We're going to the mall.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Are you asking permission?
:'''Rex:''' No. I'm asking if we can have some money. Providence pays me nada.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Can I have a word with you?
:'''Agent Six:''' Sure this is a good idea? Could ruin your hero status with Holiday.
:'''Rex:''' It's funny. After meeting Bev, out of nowhere, it hit me that Doc Holiday is just a little too old for me. So, since I'm out of the way, I guess there's nothing stopping you anymore, huh, &quot;hero&quot;?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Well... right. I guess... I'll set up those tests.
:''[Holiday starts to walk past Six. Six takes a hold of her hand]''
:'''Agent Six:''' Or... we could get some dinner.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Outside? In the real world? Like real people? Like a--
:'''Agent Six:''' Yes. Like a date.
:''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's about time.

===Hong Kong Nights===

===Whispers in the Dark===
===Cutting It Close===

===Exposed===
:'''White Knight''': All Providence personnel, this is a priority-one alert.
:'''Agent Six''': Do not panic. Remember your training.
:'''White Knight''': In all my years of working at Providence, never have I been put in such a situation. These interlopes could be anywhere at any given moment.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Hey, what's all the-- Whoa! Sorry. We're late.
:'''Bobo Haha''': You can't prove a thing!
:'''White Knight''': Watch what you say. Watch what you do. The very future of Providence may depend upon it.
:'''Rex Salazar''': So, what's going on? Van Kleiss attack in the HQ again?
:'''Agent Six''': Worse.
:'''Diane Farrah:''' I'm Diane Farrah, and for the first time ever, we've got an exclusive all-access pass inside the top-secret organization known as Providence. To uncover for our viewers, all the juiciest behind-the-scenes details of this most secret of institutions. And to find out the real story behind that man of mystery you've all wondered about for so long.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Aah.
:'''Diane Farrah''': All your questions are about to be answered. Welcome to Providence Exposed! ''[Camera closes-up on her face]'' On Ultimate Exposure! And cut. Great into, guys. Okay, moving on.
:'''Rex Salazar''': This is cool.
:'''Agent Six''': This is wrong.
:'''Rex Salazar''': How's my hair?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Delicious.
:'''White Knight''': Ladies and gentlemen, the delightful Miss Farrah and her crew have used the Freedom of Information Act to force.
:''[White Knight clears his throat]''
:'''White Knight''': To allow them access to a day in the life of Providence. And to ensure you are afforded the very best Providence has to offer, I'm assigning our top man as your personal guide.
:''[Rex moves towards the news team]''
:'''White Knight''': Six, please show Miss Farrah whatever she wants to see.
:'''Agent Six''': Agent Six is the name. On behalf of Providence, I'd like to welcome you to our facility.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Spare me the small talk. I'm here to ask the tough questions, and I expect truthful answers.
:'''Agent Six''': Shoot.
:'''Diane Farrah''': So.. is there a Mrs. Six?
:''[Combs her hair]''
:'''Bobo Haha''': Smooth.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Like you'd have done better.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Are you kidding? They want exposed. I'm going to give that reporter a piece of my mind and a few other pieces while I'm at it. I got stories that'll make them run screaming for the hills.
:''[Bobo Haha laughs]''
:'''Agent Six''': If you'll follow me, I'll be happy to show you one of our nanite research labs up close and personal. EVO control is our primary area of concentration, but Providence is focused on a great many studies. Each employing the best and the brightest our planet has to offer.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Thanks, Six. You know, this is my brother's lab. He's only like the smartest guy in the entire world. Yeah, being the best at what we do totally runs in our family.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Not a good time.
:'''Agent Six''': That experiment is highly sensitive.
:'''Diane Farrah''': So, Agent Six, how did you become a Providence agent?
:'''Agent Six''': That's also highly sensitive.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Amazing story though about how I became a Providence agent. See, there was this big accident.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Good morning. My name is Dr. Rebecca Holiday, And I'm the chief research officer for the Providence Laboratory Facilities - specializing in the study of evology. Providence's number one priority is the security of our planet. And through the studying and understanding the forces that threaten us--
:'''Diane Farrah''': Let's cut to the chase, shall we, doctor?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Oh, um, okay.
:'''Diane Farrah''': How do you balance the threat of EVOs, the constant danger... with being a woman?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Uh.
:''[Dr. Holiday laughs nervously]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Oh, excuse me.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Speaking of studying, check this out. You can edit that, right?
:'''Diane Farrah''': We're all about the editing.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, maybe you could show these journalists some of your other duties, like what you're supposed to be doing right now, for instance.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, man. That's right. Come on. You're going to love this.
:'''Diane Farrah''': EVOs come from far and wide for a chance to be cured by this young man. How often do you do this?
:'''Rex Salazar''': At least once a week here at HQ. When I'm in other parts of the county or the world, Providence sets up a mobile cure station. There are a lot of people out there who need my help. I only wish I could get to them all. Wait. Um, let my try again. ''[after Rex can't cure an EVO]'' Shut it off.
:'''Diane Farrah''': But this is really good drama, Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I asked to be on TV. They didn't. Please give these people their privacy.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Come on, buddy. Everybody has an off day.
:'''Rex Salazar''': In front of millions of viewers? So much for everyone's favorite Providence man of mystery.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Well, they're just lucky they haven't had the camera on me yet. Oh man, talk about Ultimate Exposure. When I get through with them--
:'''Rex Salazar''': I just wish I could look cool on camera somehow.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Phbt! Good luck. The only way that's going to happen now is if some experimental EVOs busted out of their cages and went on a rampage so you could round them up and look like a hero.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Providence isn't known for being forthcoming with information. I hope this interview will change that. The people want answers and I fully expect them from you.
:'''White Knight''': Very well. What do you want to know?
:'''Diane Farrah''': For starters, how do you get fresh milk without any nanites in it?
:'''White Knight''': If you must know, it's passed through a powerful magnet that removes and neutralizes any nanite activity.
:'''Agent Six''': Observe.
:''[White Knight smacks lips]''
:'''White Knight''': Anything else?
:'''Diane Farrah''': Not at the moment, but I'll be back.
:'''White Knight''': I look forward to it.
:''[White Knight sips]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': So, Agent Six, what do you think about White Knight's obsession with staying nanite-free at the expense of human contact?
:'''Agent Six''': He's a man of many mysteries.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Look out! Coming through! Dangerous escaped EVOs on the loose! Stand back! Let a professional handle this!
:'''Diane Farrah''': Follow him.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Yeah, I'm kind of awesome.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Did you get them all?
:'''Rex Salazar''': How many did you release?
:'''Bobo Haha''': I don't know, three or four.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, which was it? Three or four?
:''[Rex Salazar gasps]''
:'''Agent Six''': Well then. Now that Rex's little demonstration is over, how about a visit to the Providence gift shop? On me.
:'''Diane Farrah''': How long has Providence had a gift shop?
:'''Agent Six''': Since 8:00 A.M. You want to tell me how a class by EVO got out of its electromagnetically-sealed container and just happened to cross paths with our tour?
:'''Rex Salazar''': It's not like this kind of thing doesn't happen here all the time. I just wanted it to happen this time, in front of the camera, all right?
:'''Agent Six''': Not all right. That last EVO-- You just helped it molt so it could grow. Its body is still out there somewhere, getting bigger.
:'''White Knight''': Providence is run like a finely tuned machine. Until you decide to throw a monkey wrench into the works.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Hey, pal, let's leave the comedy to me.
:'''White Knight''': And how is it exactly that these EVOs got out?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Okay, Mea Culpa. I may have accidentally knocked open a cage or two-- Or four.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': That fourth cage was electromagnetically sealed.
:'''Bobo Haha''': I didn't say it was easy.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': The EVO we had contained in there feeds on electricity. It must be kept away from any electrical current.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Then it sure is a good thing this whole place isn't full of electricity. Oh, wait.
:'''White Knight''': Find it. Subdue it. And most importantly, don't let that camera crew see it.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Eh, were wastin' time hunting this thing down when I could be on camera right now, giving those people a piece of my mind.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Hey, I only saw the EVOs empty husk before. What's the real thing look like anyway? Huh?
:'''Bobo Haha''': That.
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:''[Rex Salazar grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Any suggestions?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Can you make a soccer net?
:''[Rex Salazar and Bobo Haha grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Aha! Got you cornered now. There's no way out. You're overpowered.
:'''Bobo Haha''': You were saying?
:'''Agent Six''': You wanted to interview me. Now's your chance. Go.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Um... okay. Tell me, Six-- May I call you Six?-- What is the real truth behind the nanite event that created the EVOs?
:'''Agent Six''': That's classified.
:'''Diane Farrah''': What is your role, if any, in that event?
:'''Agent Six''': That's classified, too.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Are you always this talkative?
:'''Agent Six''': No comment.
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Wait. Let me do that again. You didn't get my good side. Which is my good side?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Your backside.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Agent Six, you promised you were taking us to the heart of the operation.
:'''Agent Six''': Right. The heart of the operation. This way.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': [Watching from a monitor] It went right.
:''[Rex goes to his right. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Camera right!
:''[Rex goes to the camera's right]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': How can you miss it now? It's six feet in diameter and weighs five hundred pounds!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Less criticizing, more helping!
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Try to steer it in the direction of Hallway twelve. We can isolate it in the atrium.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, we've got it contained there now.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': No, sorry. I was reading that backwards. Hallway twenty one.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, Hallway twenty one leads to the central core!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, so, no big deal. That's a cold-fission reactor, not electric, right?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, all electricity is converted from something-- Wind, solar, hydro-- At the central core!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Ohh.
:''[Providence Agent screams]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Uh-hoh.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, listen carefully and do exactly as I say because we're only going to get one shot at this.
:'''Diane Farrah''': One shot at what, doctor?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': The... future. Providence is the future. The future used to be the space program. Now the future is Providence and the science of EVOs.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Doc? Are you still there? We have a situation.
:'''Agent Six''': Just a minor downgrade of power during a routine relay check. Nothing to worry about.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Guys, I could really use some advice right about now!
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''White Knight''': Attention all Providence Personnel, we have a Level-One Priority...
:''[Realizes the reporters are present]''
:'''White Knight''': Drill. Repeat-- This is our daily drill in the Central Core-- Now.
:'''Agent Six''': Lunch bell. It's taco day. Anyone hungry?
:'''Diane Farrah''': Agent Six, while we appreciate the commemorative spoons and the tacos, I can't help but think that you've been hiding something from our viewers.
:'''Agent Six''': Not at all, ma'am. Providence is an open book.
:''[Rex Salazar screams]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': Cut! You're ruining the shot, Rex. Just be patient. I will get to you-- I promise.
:''[Rex Salazar groans]''
:'''Agent Six''': Get down.
:''[Diane Farrah gasps]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': That was... what you did.
:'''Agent Six''': Just doing my job, ma'am.
:'''Rex Salazar''': And I'm just doing mine!
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': You're not going anywhere now, buddy, except back to your-- Cage?
:'''White Knight''': We hope that you and the Ultimate Exposure team are enjoying our EVO containment demonstration, Miss Farrah. All part of readiness training here at Providence.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Can I quote you on that?
:'''White Knight''': Miss Farah, I'm not gonna stop you from filming, but for your own safety and the safety of your crew, please step back and let my people do what they do best. Alpha Team, I need a containment of the cafeteria, cube formation. Fire! Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm on it.
:'''Agent Six''': Stay here. This is the real deal.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Not on your life. Find an elevator. We're missing it.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Still not a good ti-i-i-i-i-me!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, big boy. No more crawl spaces. No more Hallways. Just you and me in a big, old hangar bay mano y mano.
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Huh?
:'''Bobo Haha''': ''[after Rex has been repeatedly beaten back by the Evo]'' Looks like you showed him.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Are you going to talk, or are you going to help?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Talk. Kidding! I'm helping! I'm helping!
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:''[Rex Salazar groaning]''
:''[Rex Salazar groaning]''
:''[Rex Salazar sighs]''
:''[Rex Salazar groaning]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': Please tell me you're getting all of this.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Providence's man of mystery strikes again. Ow! It-- it bit me!
:'''Diane Farrah''': Quick, grab some B-roll footage before they get rid of all the evidence.
:'''Rex Salazar''': You did see that I did all the heavy lifting and Six just took out the trash, right?
:'''Diane Farah''': Don't worry. The camera never lies.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Yes!
:'''Bobo Haha''': Good! Then get a load of this!
:'''Diane Farah''': Do you have something to say?
:''[Camera zooms in on Bobo]''
:'''Bobo Haha''': Oh... oh.
:''[Bobo mutters then passes out]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': I think we have everything we need.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I don't know how you guys came off looking, but yours truly rocked hard. Just call me Providence's Man of Mystery from now on. Oh, yeah! Stardom starts in five, four, three, two--
:'''Diane Farrah''': I'm Diane Farrah, and for the first time ever, we've got an exclusive all-access pass inside the top-secret organization known as Providence. To uncover for our viewers, all the juiciest behind-the-scenes details of this most secret of institutions.
:'''Rex Salazar''': We are so dead.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Nice knowing you, kid.
:'''Diane Farrah''': To find out the real story behind that man of mystery you've all wondered about for so long.
:'''Agent Six''': Agent Six is the name.
:'''Rex Salazar''': They did it.
:'''Bobo Haha''': They did.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': This is a news show? What is the world coming to?
:'''Diane Farrah''': Look out, ladies. Agent Six is the full package -- brains, brawn, and--
:'''Agent Six''': Highly sensitive.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Just what is he hiding behind those alluring, dark glasses of his?
:'''Agent Six''': That's classified.
:'''Diane Farrah''': He's the Providence agent you women wanted to get to know.
:'''Agent Six''': Up close and personal.
:'''Diane Farrah''': That's right, girls.
:'''Agent Six''': He's The real deal.
:'''Diane Farrah''': And he's known throughout Providence as--
:'''Agent Six''': The heart of the operation.
:'''Diane Farrah''': He's the organization's best-kept secret, the ultimate agent, and--
:'''Agent Six''': The man of many mysteries.
:'''Diane Farrah''': And, yes, ladies, he is single -- or is he?
:''[Dr. Holiday laughs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Excuse me.
:'''Agent Six''': No comment.
:''[Rex and Bobo Haha laughs]''
:'''White Knight''': Well, that's a relief.
:'''Rex Salazar''': ''[after the story airs]'' So, man of mystery, what's it like being a big star adored by women everywhere?
:'''Agent Six''': No comment.

===Touch and Go===
===The Siren's Lament===
* Flashbacks as to how Circe came to work for Van Kleiss.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Grounded===
===Six Minus Six===
===In Dreams===

===Lions and Lambs===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:''[Providence agents are standing in an industrial area, fingers on triggers. Rex flies in on jet pack and lands beside all the agents.]''
:'''Rex:''' Any sign? ''[Rex notices agents shaking in fear.]'' Alright then, who’s up for a burger, anyone? Tough crowd.
:''[Six walks up.]''
:'''Six:'''	These agents seem nervous. Haven’t they dealt with this situation before?
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, that's kind of the problem.
:''[Rex twitches, as if he is feeling Breach's presence.]''
:'''Providence Agent:''' Here she comes.
:''[Breach appears in front of them. They fire at her. She sends their missiles and agents away with red portals.]''
:'''Six:'''	How do we stop her?
:'''Rex:'''	''[Smack Hands.]'' Hit hard and keep clear of anything that glows.
:''[Breach has a collar around her neck like the one Van Kleiss wears, and a device on her chest like his only much larger and shackles are around her giant hands which look like Van Kleiss's bio-mechanical wrist. She opens a red portal. A giant jellyfish-like thing flies out at Six, then a large creature with a horn on its nose runs out. Rex jumps at Breach, she portals out, returns and the device on her chest starts sparking.]''
:'''Rex:'''	What's with the new toy, Breach?
:'''Breach:'''	''[Glares]'' Wouldn’t you like to know?
:''[T-Rex appears through a gold colored portal, sniffs Rex.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Seriously, where do you find these things? Let's see what you started out as, big guy. ''[Tries to cure.] Six? This... this isn't an EVO!'' It's an actual T-Rex! ...Six?
:''[Rex runs from T-Rex.]''
:'''Breach:'''	Have fun. ''[Leaves through red portal.]''
:''[Rex hides behind light pole, T-Rex pulls pole from ground, Rex falls to the ground.]''
:'''Six:'''	I take it this sort of thing doesn't happen all the time?
:'''Rex:''' Try never? This is all kinds of wrong.
:''[Rex makes BFS, runs at T-Rex; Six runs at T-Rex, jumps on and stabs it in back.]''
:'''Holiday:'''	Is that what I think it is?
:'''Six:''' You mean about to be extinct?
:'''Holiday:''' If you destroy the scientific find of a lifetime, it won’t be the only thing.
:'''Rex:'''	It's trying to eat us.
:'''Six:'''	You heard the lady. Take it down soft.
:'''Rex:'''	Easy for you to say.
:''[Rex lies on the ground holding the jaws open with Smack Hands and it slobbers on him.]''
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Video of T-Rex in confinement field. The T-Rex turns to dust.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Breach is powerful enough as it is, and now you're telling me she can travel through time?
:'''Holiday:'''	However she's doing it, I haven't worked out all the kinks yet. That dinosaur reverted to its actual age about less than two hours after arrival.
:'''Caesar:'''	Photo and deep scan analysis reveals some very interesting technology at work here. Van Kleiss has really stepped up his game.
:'''White Knight:''' Skip the fan talk. How do we stop it?
:'''Caesar:'''	Until I get my hands on the device, I'm not certain we can.
:'''White Knight:''' We have to bring her to our side.
:'''Rex:'''	The only way she's coming here is if she does it willingly.
:'''White Knight:''' How do you propose we persuade her?
:'''Rex:'''	With me. ''[Six and Holiday stare at him skeptically.]'' I can be very convincing. Okay, okay. I think she might still have a thing for me.
:'''Bobo:''' Atta boy, work it on the crazy chick.
:'''White Knight:''' I don't care how we do it as long as we get results. Providence is under the microscope. It is the worst time for Van Kleiss to gain the upper hand. Get to it. Bring her in.
:''[Six and Holiday walking out of the room together down the hall.]''
:'''Six:''' ''[To Holiday.]'' I need a word. Something's wrong with White.
:'''Holiday:'''	Oh. That. He’s always like this, Six.
:'''Six:'''	No. This is different. I know when something is bothering him. The secret meetings, the anxiety. He’s up to something.
:'''Holiday:'''	I'll see what I can find out.
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Rex on hoverboard, in Providence stealth suit.]''
:'''Rex:'''	WHOO-HOO! Works pretty good. After all, I built it. ''[Loses control of board for a moment.]''
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Van Kleiss's castle, Rex hiding by entrance.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Going in. ''[Pulls up stealth mask, disappears partly, runs past guard.]''
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Breach is hooked up to a large machine. Van Kleiss stands before her with a huge bank of controls and displays, spooky dark lighting. She screams.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' This is unacceptable, Breach. I need you to concentrate.
:'''Breach:''' It hurts.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Think of what I'm trying to achieve here. I cannot fail.
:''[Breach screams in agony and collapses.]''
:''[Rex looks down horrified, Van Kleiss grins, Breach screams and falls down.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I'll return when it recharges and we'll start again.
:''[Rex holds his hand out to her.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Why do you let him do this to you?
:'''Breach:''' Glory.
:'''Rex:'''	Van Kleiss's glory. Is he even noticing how you're tearing yourself apart for him? Have you ever heard him say thank you? What do you say we blow this joint, you and me? He's hurting you.
:'''Breach:'''	It's not real. It can't hurt you if it isn't real.
:'''Rex:'''	Breach, look at me. It is. I'm real, all of this is real. You don't have to live this way.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Why am I not surprised. Rex has come to rescue another of my lost sheep. Perhaps he'll try to save you next, Biowulf.
:'''Rex:'''	That depends. Is he housebroken yet?
:'''Biowulf:'''	I am no traitor.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	You’ve no doubt seen our little experiment. Breach shows great promise. She just needs a little fine tuning.
:'''Rex:'''	Then what? Go back in time and be king of the cavemen?
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Why not? It wouldn’t be much of a step down, now would it? Breach, if you would, remove our guest so we can continue. Practice makes perfect, or in your case, acceptable.
:''[Breach makes a red portal.]''
:'''Rex:''' Breach! Think about what you're doing.
:''[Van Kleiss grins, she runs and puts her arms around Rex, portals out with Rex.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Find her. Now.
:''[Mountains, snow, Rex shivering.]''
:'''Rex:'''	I'm glad you got us out of there, but where... are we?
:'''Breach:'''	When the snow is gone you can see forever.
:'''Rex:''' That's nice. Can we go now?
:'''Breach:''' I need to know if I can trust you.
:'''Rex:'''	You can trust me. I swear.
:''[Breach grabs his hand and hugs him. He opens his eyes. They are standing on a shiny endless reflective surface, reflecting stars.]''
:'''Rex:'''	This is different.
:'''Breach:'''	Do you see it?
:'''Rex:'''	Um--
:'''Breach:'''	This is where the stillness comes from.
:'''Rex:'''	You. Are weird. So what exactly does this mean? Are you coming with me or is this some kind of test?
:'''Breach:'''	I need you to see it.
:'''Rex:'''	Ah... A test.
:'''Breach:'''	Do you wanna understand?
:'''Rex:'''	Not exactly sure. ''[She glares, he waves his hands in front of him.]'' Yes, I mean yes. I mean--
:'''Breach:''' Follow me. ''[Walks through red portal.]''
:''[Another place. A door, a doll, a bear and a fire hydrant float in space.]''
:''[Rex hanging upside down, she is holding him by his ankle above a swirling pink vortex.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Ahh! What happened? I thought we were getting along fine!
:'''Breach:'''	Why are you here?
:'''Rex:''' Good question. Where exactly is here? Can we go somewhere else now, somewhere like, on Earth?
:''[She drops him. He screams and lands on the floor between some stacks of books.]''
:'''Rex:''' You sure know how to pick'em. What kind of tripped out dimension is this? ''[Librarian walks by and shushes him.]'' Oh. College.
:'''White Knight:''' ''[On communicator in Rex's right ear.]'' Rex, report. Where on earth have you been?
:'''Rex:'''	Apparently every place but.
:'''White Knight:''' I need to know you can handle this otherwise we're going to try a different approach.
:'''Rex:'''	You need to chill out, White. I’m making progress. ''[Rex puts his hand to his left ear.]'' Dr. Holiday, are you there?
:'''Holiday:'''	Tracking shows you’re with Breach. Are you okay?
:'''Rex:'''	Fine? Creeped out but fine. I can't bring Breach back to Providence, White would just lock her up and that won't help.
:'''Holiday:'''	Where will you take her?
:'''Rex:'''	I'll think of something. Just keep White Knight off my case.
:''[Breach appears behind him.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Why don't you let me pick out where we go next?
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[White Knight hands folded moving nervously.]''
:'''White Knight:''' He says he's making progress.
:'''Black Knight:''' The committee is losing confidence. They want results, not excuses.
:'''White Knight:''' Then that's exactly what they’ll get.
:''[Scene change. Rex sits across from Breach in a booth at a bowling alley.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Soooo, don't like bowling, huh? I figured with the extra arms you'd be a natural.
:'''Breach:'''	I'm not supposed to like you, but I do.
:'''Rex:''' ''[smiles]'' We're teenagers. At least assuming you are. Doing what we are not supposed to is part of the job. French fry?
:''[She takes it and then drops it.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Do you remember anything? From before you... changed?
:'''Breach:'''	I remember everything. And nothing.
:'''Rex:''' Naturally. Why did I even bother to ask. Listen, Breach. I'm not going to pretend I understand you, ''[Puts his hand on her giant hand]'' but I can help. If you let me.
:''[The machine starts to glow, they jump to their feet, other people look startled.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Nothing to worry about. Everything's fine.
:'''Breach:'''	I can't, I can't stop it.
:'''Rex:'''	Let me try. ''[He tries and it knocks him onto the floor sparking.]''
:'''Breach:'''	Van Kleiss has control. They're coming.
:''[Van Kleiss busts through the door with The Pack following. Raises bio-mechanical hand, palm of it glows, device on Breach's chest turns off.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Okay, do your thing. Get us out of here. Anywhere.
:''[she tries]''
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	You can't take what doesn't belong to you.
:'''Rex:'''	I didn't take you for the jealous type. ''[Rex shoots bowling balls at Van Kleiss with his cannon, hits Biowulf and Skalamander in the face and Van Kleiss punches the balls aside with his bio-mechanical hand.]''
:'''Rex:''' Breach, let's go!
:''[Breach rides off with Rex on hoverboard, Van Kleiss and Pack follow on three flying fish EVO's with harnesses and big teeth. They dodge and crash Van Kleiss into a window, and land in a park.]''
:''[Breach and Rex stand together on a footbridge looking down into the water.]''
:'''Breach:''' ''[Walks to bridge and looks at her reflection, Rex follows.]'' Will they hurt me?
:'''Rex:'''	Providence? Not if I can help it.
:'''Breach:'''	They did before. Ms. Smarty Pants—she likes to hurt me.
:'''Rex:''' I'll give you my word, if you come back to Providence, I promise no one will hurt you.
:'''Breach:'''	We can be together forever and ever. ''[She walks off bridge, ducks swimming in water.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Uh... something like that. What am I getting myself into? We gotta move. I bet my brother has already figured out how to turn that thing of yours off.
:''[The ducks fly off, they look and see a reflection in the pond of White Knight's ship.]''
:''[White Knight walks up followed by Providence fighter planes.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Uh guys, what are you doing?!
:'''White Knight:''' If you can't have something done right, do it yourself.
:''[They shoot at Breach, she screams, Rex is horrified.]''
:'''Rex:''' No! No! No! ''[walks up bridge to White Knight]'' Do have any idea what you just did?
:''[Breach's chest device turns on, she screams, Providence shoots at her.]''
:'''Rex:''' Is this what you wanted? Congratulations! ''[runs to Breach]'' Breach! Wait!
:'''Breach:''' Liar! ''[Throws red portal at Rex, he dodges, second one hits him, he disappears. Providence keeps shooting, she throw portals, drops three soldiers in water.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Agent Six!
:''[He jumps at her, she portals him away to behind Knight. Rex jumps from the water onto the bridge by Knight.]''
:'''Rex:'''	You had no intention to bring her in, did you?
:'''White Knight:''' I wanted to believe you, Rex, but this is too important. She can't be controlled.
:'''Rex:''' Control... Her powers are back on. Van Kleiss.
:''[Van Kleiss arrives on flying fish EVO.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Settle down, Breach.
:''[Chest device turns off.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Let me do this. I can get through to her. Come on. It couldn't get any worse than you've already made it
:''[Knight and Six look at each other.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Form a perimeter around Breach. Van Kleiss isn't to touch her.
:''[A rock wall rises from the ground blocking Rex as he runs towards Breach. The Pack jumps down from wall to attack Rex, Six intervenes. Agents surround Breach, she tries and fails to make red portal. Screams. Van Kleiss flies in on fish, knocks down agents with bio-mechanical whip arm, shoots needles from fingers and knocks more down, fish knocks the rest down. White Knight shoots at Van Kleiss.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' If you had any idea what I was trying to do you might even welcome it.
:'''White Knight:''' Enlighten me.
:''[Van Kleiss touches a tree and it turns into an EVO. EVO tree catches and holds White. Six and Biowulf fight, Rex and Skalamander fight.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Enlighten you?
:''[Sticks his claws in White Knight, glowing White Knight screams.]'' All in good time, White Knight, assuming you have some left.
:''[Six throws a magnablade through Van Kleiss's bio-mechanical arm and he lets go of White.]''
:'''Six:'''	''[to White Knight]'' Go. I mean it. ''[White Knight flies off.]''
:'''Six:''' The name's Six.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	We've met.
:'''Six:'''	Don't remember. ''[They fight.]''
:''[Breach on merry-go-round, turning slowly looking at the sky.
:'''Rex:'''	You're just using her.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Of course I am. She knows it. Spare me the chivalry, Rex. Providence would do the same.
:'''Rex:'''	Either way you slice it, she loses!
:'''Breach:''' ''[to herself]'' My two favorites. You both lie. Neither is real.
:'''Rex:''' ''[goes to her]'' Breach, I'm sorry. I meant what I said.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Words mean nothing.
:'''Rex:''' Then let this do the talking. ''[Turns on her machine, puts it into her power.]''
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' You just handed her a loaded gun.
:'''Rex:'''	And now it's her choice how to use it.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Oh if only I had the chance to get through to you, Rex, to teach you how the world really works.
:''[Breach steps in front of Van Kleiss, raises her arms as if to send Rex away. Makes huge yellow portal above them.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Our very first time traveler. You should be honored. Now Breach, if you wouldn't mind.
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:''[Rex closes his eyes. Breach sends Van Kleiss away with yellow portal.]''
:'''Rex:''' That was... unexpected.
:''[Rex tries to turn machine off but fails.]''
:'''Rex:'''	It won't turn off. I'm sorry. I, I didn't know.
:'''Breach:'''	Van Kleiss made it like this so I wouldn't send him away.
:'''Rex:'''	That didn't work out so well did it? Six, get everyone out of here now! ''[A big yellow dome forms around the playground where Rex and Breach stand.]''
:'''Rex:'''	So, what's going to happen?
:''[Rex and Breach are about to be engulfed by Breach's out of control time portal]''
:'''Breach''': ''[she looks up]'' I don't know if any of this was real. But it was nice having a friend for a while. ''[Rex smiles, Breach hugs him as they dispensary in the golden time portal]''
:'''Rex:''' I didn't get blown up. ''[Sees a lizard.]'' Whoa! ''[Jumps away, startled.]'' Oh no, please don't let this be dino time. ''[Touches earpiece in left ear.]'' Rex to Providence, do you copy? :''[Takes earpiece out and looks at it.]'' Oh... Rex to Providence, you better be there.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Uh... we copy, Rex. We have a lock on your coordinates and are sending a jump jet.
:'''Rex:'''	Is Six okay? Breach went supernova.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Someone's on the way, just hold tight. Providence out.
:''[Scene change, Rex lying on the ground.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Took you long enough.
:''[Turns over and sees Providence agents, pointing guns at him.]''
:'''Providence Agent:''' Rex is onboard. Heading back to HQ.
:'''Rex:'''	HQ? Ten minutes ago I was in the middle of an epic battle. You need to take me back!
:'''Providence Agent:''' Um, that battle is over.
:'''Rex:''' What happened? Is Six okay? Guys...what's going on?
:''[They arrive at HQ.]''
:'''Caesar:'''	Baby brother, you're okay! ''[Runs and hugs him.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Breach just sent me to nowheresville. Nothing to freak out over.
:'''Caesar:'''	''[To Providence agent.]'' You didn't tell him?
:'''Providence Agent:''' Our orders were just to bring him back.
:'''Rex:'''	Tell me what? Hey, when did you... have a beard?
:'''Caesar:''' There's no easy way to tell you this, hermano. Breach didn't just send you to the middle of nowhere. You've been gone for six months.
:'''Rex:'''	Six months?! So this is--
:'''Caesar:''' Technically, the future. I should warn you, there've been a few changes.
:'''Rex:'''	You didn't give away my room, did you?
:'''Caesar:''' As a matter of fact, they did.
:'''Rex:''' What?! Caesar, tell me what's going on here.
:'''Caesar:'''	It would be better if I showed you.
:'''Rex:'''	White Knight taking visitors now?
:'''Caesar:'''	I'll wait out here.
:''[Rex sees Providence agents dressed in black.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Nice suits.
:''[Goes into the office.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Ah... Love what you've done with the place. White?
:''[Person in chair turns around, it's a woman, not White Knight.]''
:'''Black Knight:''' Thank you, Rex. ''[She gets up and walks towards him.]'' It was a little bright for my taste. White Knight is no longer associated with this organization.
:'''Rex:''' He quit?
:'''Black Knight:''' He...attempted a hostile takeover and failed. Can I get you anything? Water? A snack?
:'''Rex:''' I don't want a snack! Where's Six? Where's Holiday!?
:'''Black Knight:''' This must upsetting to you. Change is never easy but from I understand, you've been in situations like this before. Everything's going to be fine.
:'''Rex:''' Who are you?!
:'''Black Knight:''' Someone very happy to have you back. Call me Black Knight.

==Season Three (2011-2013)==
===Back in Black===
: '''Rex''': Okay, I get what's going on here.
: '''Black Knight''': I'm relieved to hear that, Rex.
: '''Rex''': You can come out! I know you're there!
: '''Black Knight''': Rex?
: '''Rex''': We're friends, now, remember? Breach?
: '''Black Knight''': Breach isn't here, Rex. The world's changed. As soon you accept th--
: '''Rex''': No, I'm not ignoring you. It's just that you're not real.
: '''Black Knight''': I assure you I'm very real-- as is all of this.
: '''Rex''': ''[chuckling]'' Oh, come on. It's been a fun time in the ol' Breachscape, but, you know, time to go home now.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex''': Seen this before. Usually ends with a black hole.
: '''Black Knight''': Rex, you're disoriented. Let me--
: '''Rex''': Sorry, non-lady. No time. Got an exit to find! Shall we aprehend?
: '''Black Knight''': It won't be necessary.
: '''Caesar''': Rex! Have you lost it?
: '''Rex''': Caesar! We're in a pocket dimension! It could collapse at any second!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Caesar''': That's crazy, Rex. This is not a pocket dimension.
: '''Rex''': You're right! It's a whole alternate universe! And-- and-- and you're my Brother's evil twin! Out of the way! Six! Six! Doc!
: ''[Rex panting]''
: '''Rex''': Dr. Holiday! Doc!
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex''': Wha-- Well, at least some things haven't changed. Whoa! Whoa! Okay, now I-- Bleh-- know I'm in an-- Aah!-- alternate universe. Unh! You can go ahead and -- Blech!-- Eat me now, please.
: '''Black Knight''': Release.
: '''Rex''': You were... saying something about changes?
: '''Black Knight''': There have been a few.
: '''Caesar''': You've got temporal lag, Rex. It's kind of like altitude sickness, only in time. Here-- This will balance your electrolytes.
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex''': So this is really-- 
: '''Black Knight''': Really. Welcome to the future, Rex-- Or, rather, to the present. Without your healing abilities, Providence has embraced a new paradigm. We've moved beyond the outmoded era of &quot;cure, contain, or kill.&quot;
: '''Rex''': And into the era of &quot;serious leash laws&quot;.
: '''Caesar''': We used the petting zoo as our test bed. What do you think?
: '''Rex''': I think it needs a new name, 'cause, you know, now it really is one.
: '''Caesar''': We've developed new techniques for working with EVOs. It's all about understanding them better.
: '''Rex''': So, you're some sort of &quot;EVO whisperer&quot;?
: '''Caesar''': ''[laughs]'' It's a bit more complicated than that. You sure you're okay? ''[sighs]'' It's good to have you back, brother.
: '''Black Knight''': Family ties. They transcend even time itself.
: '''Rex''': Caesar's not my only family.
: '''Black Knight''': I'll bring you up to speed on the others. When you went M.I.A., White Knight lost his biggest weapon in the war for EVO containment.
: '''Rex''': Figures that I have to vanish for him to appreciate me.
: '''Black Knight''': White became erratic-- some might say paranoid. Directorate lost faith in his ability to lead.
: '''Rex''': Directorate? I never knew white even had a boss.
: '''Black Knight''': There are, shall we say, layers. I was named as his replacement.
: '''Rex''': Let me guess-- he didn't take it well.
: '''Black Knight''': You could say that.
: '''Providence Agent''': White Knight! Sir! Stand down!
: '''White Knight''': I'd rather go down in flames than see Providence in the hands of the enemy.
: '''Providence Agent''': He's got a bomb! Fall back! All units fall ba--
: '''Rex''': Whoa! That was--
: '''Black Knight''': Your room.
: '''Rex''': Huh? Aww, man! But... Six... Holiday... where--
: '''Black Knight''': Where do you think? They're out looking for you. Agent Six and Holiday took indefinite leave. They've been off the grid ever since. I've attempted to contact them, but no response.
: '''Rex''': Mind if... I give them a ring? Not that I don't trust you.
: '''Black Knight''': But you don't trust me. Natural, given the circumstances. Be my guest. It won't take long, to locate them. Meanwhile, there are many familiar faces who will be glad to hear you're back. Which reminds me... This is everything we salvaged from your room.
: '''Rex''': Huh. Talk about starting over.
: '''Black Knight''': You could you know. There's still a place for you in the--
: '''Rex''': My room. I thought you said it was trashed.
: '''Black Knight''': Rex, wait.
: '''Rex''': What's the matter, Black? This where you're hiding all your evil secrets?
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex''': Um... Wow!
: '''Black Knight''': This entire wing was destroyed in the blast. I had the space... repurposed.
: '''Rex''': White wouldn't even splurge for private stalls.
: '''Black Knight''': As you see, I treat my finest people to the very finest things.
: '''Rex''': Sure. I'll take one of those, please.
: '''Black Knight''': It's yours-- and anything else you'd like.
: '''Rex''': As long as I do whatever you want-- That it?
: '''Black Knight''': On the contrary-- you're a seasoned agent. I have a few boundaries, but otherwise, handle matters as you see fit.
: '''Rex''': Say I refuse.
: '''Black Knight''': Then I turn you over to mel. ''[chuckling]'' I'm kidding. You're free to leave whenever you like. But I hope you'll stay. Now, more than ever, Providence needs a Rex. So, how do you feel? Like I haven't used one of those in Six months-- Which I haven't. You mind? Bobo?
: '''Bobo''': Rex! Heard you were back. So great to see you, buddy. Whoa. Just a sec, there, pal. Gotta love those certain towelettes.
: ''[Bobo whistling]''
: '''Bobo''': What? Never seen a monkey wash his hands before?
: '''Rex''': Not this one.
: ''[Bobo munching]''
: '''Rex''': You wanna tell me what's gotten into you or what?
: '''Bobo''': What are you talking abou-- Unh! Hey!
: '''Rex''': Sorry. For a minute, I thought you were...
: '''Bobo''': Robo Bobo? Wanna check for a tv in my butt?
: '''Rex''': Pass. But come on. You've, I don't know, mellowed or something.
: '''Bobo''': Guess I just don't have a big need to act out these days, what with you and everyone gone. Plus, the employee benefits are pretty sweet.
: '''Black Knight''': Rex, we've got a little EVO problem. Providence could use your help. Ready to get back in the game?
: '''Rex''': If it involves getting out of here, that would be a &quot;yes.&quot; You coming?
: '''Bobo''': I'll join ya on the next one. I got Tai Chi at 2:00.
: '''Rex''': Missing an EVO smackdown? That doesn't sound like you.
: '''Bobo''': Did I mention the instructor has a thing for back hair?
: '''Rex:''' Ew. Okay. That sounds like you. What is it and where do I find it?
: '''Providence Agent''': We've got an EVO in the subway tunnels, people trapped in one of the trains. The power's out down there, too.
: '''Rex:''' Sounds like a street worm. Sure it's just one? Rex to H.Q. Okay, new chief, how do you want to do this?
: '''Black Knight:''' You're the expert.
: '''Rex:''' I am? Uh, I mean, of course I am. It's just that Six usually--
: '''Black Knight:''' You don't need help, Rex. Handle it as you see fit. Black, out.
: '''Rex:''' What's this strange feeling that's come upon me? Could it be...
: ''[Rex shudders]''
: '''Rex''': Responsibility?! Okay. Assemble your guys over there. Be ready for me. Should the guys grab flashlight. Or... better. Not a bad pre-show. Now for the main event.
: '''Providence Agent:''' How did you know?
: '''Rex:''' These things usually travel in pairs. I used lights from my builds to make it think I was another worm. Have your bug net handy. They're so cute after I shut them down.
: '''Rex:''' Sorry B.K. No can cure.
: '''Black Knight:''' Understood. Our team will take it from here.
: '''Rex:''' Um, take what where?
: '''Providence Agent:''' Move into the vehicle! Move... into... the vehicle! Hit her again!
: '''Rex:''' Um, what just happend?
: '''Black Knight:''' That's all for now, Rex. Nicely done.
: '''Rex:''' Hm. Wait. What are you gonna do with it?
: '''Providence Agent:''' Standard rehab and re-lo. It's all very humane.
: '''Rex:''' I'd love to see that. Mind if I tag along?
: '''Black Knight:''' Sorry, Rex. Authorized personnel only. You've done your job. Now let the team theirs.
: '''Rex:''' But--
: '''Black Knight:''' Boundaries, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' Boundaries. Got it. Rex, out.
: '''Caesar:''' Main container reached. Attach stabilizer ring.
: '''Rex:''' Humane? Yeah, right.
: ''[Bobo yawns]''
: '''Bobo:''' See? Great employee benefits.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. Right. Hey, you got a tag sticking out in the back. Mind if I--
: '''Bobo:''' Thanks, pal. Well, off to yoga.
: '''Caesar:''' You really shouldn't be here, hermano.
: '''Rex:''' The petting zoo? The worm? My monkey practicing good hygiene? You're using that thing to control my friend!
: '''Caesar:''' He's still the same Bobo you know and love. He just need a few boundaries.
: '''Rex:''' He's not the same, and neither are you! You should hear yourself!
: '''Caesar:''' Making the world safer isn't possible without some form of control. And you'd better get some control of yourself, mijo.
: '''Rex:''' Or what? You'll use that thing on me?
: '''Caesar:''' Open your eyes to all the good we're accomplishing. Isn't this better than smacking them with your giant fists?
: '''Rex:''' That's combat! I protect people and property! Okay, property, not so much, but this? If you can't see the difference, then maybe I never knew you at all!
: '''Caesar:''' It doesn't matter. I have work to do.
: '''Rex:''' So do I!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Uses his Smack Hands to smash everything around him]''
: '''Caesar:''' Rex! Stop!
: '''Black Knight:''' Snooping around, Rex? See, that's another one of my boundaries.
: '''Rex:''' White Knight may have had his issues, but he never resorted to anything like this!
: '''Black Knight:''' I never planned to do this, Rex, but you've become a danger.
: '''Rex''' ''[shocked]'': Caesar! Think! You can't do this!
: '''Caesar:''' Of course I'm thinking. This is the logical conclusion to what we started. 
: '''Rex:''' The logical-- Aaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Raaah! Aah!
: ''[Caesar blasts the mind-control laser, causing Rex to scream and groan in pain]''
: '''Caesar:''' Sorry, Rex. You'll thank me later.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' You... better... believe I will!
: '''Caesar:''' Please don't resist! It's only painful if you struggle!
: '''Black Knight:''' What's taking so long?
: '''Caesar:''' He's fighting it! His nantic energy is spiking off the scale!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Boost power.
: '''Caesar:''' It's not safe to--
: '''Black Knight:''' It's for the best. 
: ''[Caesar increases power, causing Rex's nanites to go haywire as a tear fall down his cheek, heartbroken about his own brother betraying him]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Manages to overpower the mind-control machine, much to the surprise and wonder of Caesar and Black Knight]''
: '''Rex:''' You just drew a line in the sand, bro! ''[runs off]''
: '''Black Knight:''' You'd better have a backup.
: '''Caesar:''' The prototype. Not portable, but more than enough power, even for him.
: '''Black Knight:''' Get it ready.
: '''Rex:''' Unh!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Rex:''' No mood to get slimed right now, mel!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Rex:''' What happened to your EVO control?
: '''Black Knight:''' A demonstration. You know what would happen without our influence.
: '''Rex:''' So, you're hijacking its brain, like you tried to do with mine.
: '''Black Knight:''' That won't be necessary if you'll willingly cooperate.
: '''Rex:''' Translation-- if I do everything you say.
: '''Black Knight:''' You've seen how we can work together. Providence still needs you. There will always be a few EVOs we can't control.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. I'm one of them.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Shall we pursue?
: '''Black Knight:''' Most definitely.
: '''Rex:''' Gangway! Coming through! Huh? No! Huh. Black Pawns. Overdoing the whole theme, don't you think?
: ''[Rex groaning]''
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Yah! I'm getting beat up by the chess club!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Black Knight:''' We... got off on the wrong foot. Stow the hardware and come with us. You have my word you won't be harmed. We can start over-- the right way.
: '''Bobo:''' You mind? You're interrupting the enjoyment of my employee benefits.
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: ''[Rex panting]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Black Knight:''' ''[after Rex was tranquilized]'' Excellent work. Take him to the lab.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex:''' What? No way! You're not turning my brain to mashed potatoes! Doc?!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Welcome back, Rex.
: '''Six:''' Good to see you, kid.
: '''Rex:''' Before I blame this on a Burrito-induced nightmare, will someone please tell me-- What... Is... Going... On?!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' What do you think? We've been looking for you.
: '''Six:''' We knew Providence might find you first. Fortunately, we planted a mole.
: '''Bobo:''' Ehh. Rex! Put 'er there!
: '''Rex:''' Uhh! You didn't wash! Oh! You didn't wash! But that means... that he really was... Robo Bobo?
: '''Bobo:''' In the flesh.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Literally. I gave it a biological upgrade, complete with his own nanites and... fleas, ticks, lice, chigger mites.
: '''Bobo:''' What can I say? I'm an ecosystem.
: '''Six:''' It's enough to fool your brother's equipment. The robot is only providing limited intel. But one thing is sure-- new Providence is about more than just getting Evos off the streets.
: '''Rex:''' I saw it. Whatever they're doing over there is seriously messed up.
: '''Six:''' That's why we've set up our own operation.
: '''Rex:''' Whoa! Where did you get all of this?
: '''Six:''' We have our sources.
: '''Rex:''' So, we're like super secret spies now? Cool!
:''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex:''' It's too bad about White, though. I never thought I'd say it, but I'm gonna miss that pasty guy.
: '''White Knight:''' How touching, Rex. I, on the other hand, would rather enjoyed the last six Rex-free months. Now... if we're done with the love-in, we have work to do.
: '''Rex:''' It really can't get any better than this. Oh, except one thing-- can I get a TV?

===Crash and Burn===
*From this episode, Rex can create two builds at once
:''[Bobo yawns]''
:'''Bobo:''' They say nothin' good happens after midnight. And, you know, they're right.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I'm worried about you, Bobo. Since we left Providence, you've been staying out every night.
:''[Bobo grunts]''
:''[Bobo munching]''
:''[Bobo gulps]''
:'''Bobo:''' That's not the least of your worries. Seen our boy lately?
:''[Dr. Holiday scoffs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex is fine. He just needs time to adjust to our new setting. Rex? It's Holiday. Are you there?
:'''Rex:''' Hey, doc. What up?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Just checking in. Everything okay?
:'''Rex:''' Better than okay. I'm about to set a new land-speed record'
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That wasn't what I meant. How are you feeling?
:'''Rex:''' Appreciate the concern, but the only thing on my mind right now is the need for speed. Apparently, I'm not alone. I'll call you back. Hey! Slow down! I want to talk to you! Ah. You want to play chicken. Doc? Bobo? I'm getting blitzed by some bikers. Aah!
:'''Rand:''' Might as well give up! I won't quit! I'm a relentless, never-say-die, nonstop-- Uh, hey, wait a minute. Who are you?
:'''Rex:''' Think you could have asked me that before trying to run me down?
:'''Rand:''' Ooh! My fault. I thought you were one of us.
:'''Rex:''' &quot;One of us&quot;? What is this?
:'''Rand:''' Sorry, dude. No time to chat. Peace.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, like I'm gonna take that for an answer. A street race? Or a demolition derby?
:''[Lance grunts]''
:''[Lance groans]''
:'''Lance:''' Gonna need a bike.
:'''Rex:''' Can't believe you survive that! You must be the luckiest guy on the-- These are nanites.
:''[Lance groans]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Oh, come on!
:'''Six:''' Something wrong?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Prototypes. I prefer tried-and-tested. And I don't even know what we're going to do with half of this stuff.
:'''Bobo:''' You're goin' soft, gettin' worked over by a bunch of goofballs on motorcycles.
:'''Rex:''' They had weapons.
:'''Bobo:''' Last time I checked, so did you.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, but not while I'm on my bike. I'm strictly one at a time.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The nanites that have infected his body are slowly poisoning him. I've never seen anything like it.
:'''Rex:''' Do what you can, Doc? I'm gonna go out and look for those racers.
:'''Bobo:''' Sounds dangerous.
:'''Rex:''' Sure, Bobo. You can come, too. The nanites we found on the biker gave off a different energy signature. Gonna use one of Holiday's new toys to try to scan for it. A bunch of them. And they're moving fast.
:'''Bobo:''' Then step on it! Maybe Holiday has a point about prototypes!
:'''Rex:''' Or maybe they're not on the streets. I'll watch the road. You watch the screen.
:'''Bobo:''' Gotta warn you-- Chimps make bad navigators!
:'''Rex:''' Just do it!
:'''Bobo:''' Hmm? Left! You're goin' left! Make a right! Another right!
:'''Rex:''' Which way?
:'''Bobo:''' I don't know! That way-ish! Wah! Like I said-- Monkeys make great navigators! This is your biker gang?
:'''Rex:''' They had weapons before I'm telling you-- They're tough!
:'''Bobo:''' If you say so.
:''[Bobo grunts]''
:'''Bobo:''' Wall.
:''[Bobo and Rex grunts]''
:'''Moss:''' That's some fancy ridin'. You following us, kid?
:'''Rex:''' Still think they don't look tough?
:'''Bobo:''' I take it back.
:'''Moss:''' Who are you, kid? 'Cause whoever you are, you're not bad.
:'''Rand:''' You're awesome! Where'd you learn to ride like that? Anybody with that kind of skill should be with us. Yeah!
:'''Moss:''' What's your secret?
:'''Rex:''' No secret. I'm just built that way.
:'''Lunk:''' Is that guy from TV-- The one who fights EVOs.
:'''Bobo:''' Five bucks for pictures, ten bucks for autographs.
:'''Rand:''' A talking monkey! Outrageous! I gotta have one. Is he for sale?
:'''Bobo:''' Brother, you can't afford me.
:'''Rex:''' You guys seem tight-- For guys who try to kill each other.
:'''Rand:''' We're not killers. We're racers. This is a legitimate sport.
:'''Moss:''' It is what it is. Our races aren't for the weak. Name's Moss. You've met Rand.
:'''Rex:''' He tried to blow me up.
:'''Rand:''' I missed. You're welcome. Come on, don't leave me hangin'.
:'''Moss:''' Never met a celebrity who could ride.
:'''Rex:''' I caught you, didn't I?
:'''Moss:''' But are you tough enough try me?
:'''Rex:''' Try me.
:'''Bobo:''' You gotta fight back?
:'''Rex:''' With what?
:'''Bobo:''' Oh, brother. Fine, leave it to Chimpy. Aah! I'll take that. Phbt!
:'''Rex:''' Something else on the map-- Moving fast! And it's big!
:'''Providence Agent:''' Halt! You kids! Pull over! Now!
:'''Moss:''' Cops!
:'''Bobo:''' Worst than cops-- Providence.
:'''Rex:''' The bikes give off a nanite signature. They must have tracked it.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Rex, what are you doing here?
:'''Rex:''' Research. You don't want to get caught up in this! Back off now! Sorry, guys. Have Black Knight sent me the bill.
:'''Rand:''' Ha! No way! You want to beat me, you gotta step your game up. Aah!
:''[Rand groans]''
:'''Rex:''' Rand!
:'''Bobo:''' Don't stop! Kid's wearing armor. He's fine.
:'''Rex:''' No! Something's wrong!
:''[Rand groans]''
:'''Rex:''' What is this thing? Doc? Get over here quick. We've got another one.
:'''Biker gangs:''' WHOO-HOO-HOO!
:''[Biker gangs laughs]''
:'''Biker gangs:''' Yeah!
:'''Moss:''' We thought you'd bailed on us. Where were you?
:'''Rex:''' Watching a doctor try to save Rand's life.
:'''Moss:''' Racers get sick sometimes. It's part of the life.
:'''Rex:''' Those nanite power sources-- you got to stop using them. To feel one with the road, that rush? So some people get sick. When we're on our rides, nothing else matters.
:'''Rex:''' Your rides are killing you! You're gonna be dead-- All of you! And for what? So you can go a little faster?
:'''Moss:''' We need those things to ride. You know what it's like.
:'''Lunk:''' Please. Don't take our bikes away.
:'''Rex:''' Nobody's going to take your bikes. But I need to know where you got those nanites.
:'''Lunk:''' ''[sighs]'' A guy named Valve. He supplies the superchargers.
:'''Moss:''' You're wasting your time. Valve never talks to anybody.
:'''Rex:''' He'll talk to me.
:'''Bobo:''' Been in a lot of bad biker dives, but this is the worst I've ever seen.
:'''Valve:''' Enter, strangers. The biker will see you now. Please, sit. May I offer you some tea?
:'''Rex:''' I'll pass.
:'''Valve:''' Suit yourself. I find a good cup of tea soothing-- for the body and the soul.
:''[Valve slurps]''
:'''Valve:''' You don't have to tell the biker why you're here. The biker can tell. You wish to buy a supercharger.
:''[Valve slurps]''
:'''Rex:''' Your superchargers are killing people. It's gonna stop.
:''[Valve breathes deeply]''
:'''Valve:''' Hmm. That sounds like a challenge.
:'''Rex:''' Maybe it is. I'll race you for them. If I win, you hand over your entire stockpile.
:'''Valve:''' Shh! Your answer is on the wind.
:'''Rex:''' You're... not right in the head, are you?
:'''Valve:''' When the wind commands, the impossible game must be gamed. The challenge is accepted. We will race for the superchargers. And when the biker wins... It won't matter.
:'''Rex:''' Why is that?
:'''Valve:''' Because you'll be dead. Let the race begin.
:'''Moss:''' This is his own private track. He knows it better than anyone. You can still back out-- Probably.
:'''Rex:''' And let people become poison, like Valve? No. I can take him. Just give me something to hit him with. You guys are walking arsenals. You don't have anything?
:'''Moss:''' You didn't think we'd need 'em today.
:'''Bobo:''' Oh, boy.
:'''Six:''' Message from Holiday. The two sick teens have stabilized, but she's still a ways from finding a cure.
:'''Rex:''' It was the only weapon I could find, okay? Can I borrow the sword?
:'''Six:''' Use your own.
:'''Rex:''' On wheels? It's not gonna happen.
:'''Six:''' What's stopping you?
:'''Rex:''' Well, for one thing, I-- Um, not sure exactly.
:'''Six:''' What have I been teaching you? Focus on what you want and make it happen. No more excuses.
:''[Bobo munching]''
:''[Bobo munching]''
:'''Valve:''' You're lucky. One the very best get a chance at this track.
:'''Rex:''' Then I should fit right in. Rules of the game-- ten laps. Cross the finish line before the biker, and you may have them.
:'''Rex:''' So, is the wind talking to you now?
:'''Valve:''' The wind commands the Biker to destroy you. The Biker is happy to oblige.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Bobo:''' You gonna help him?
:'''Six:''' He's doing fine.
:'''Bobo:''' Are you watchin' the same race I am?
:''[Valve grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' You're in trouble, Rex! No. Keep it together. Keep... it... together. Six said it-- Focus. Focus. Focus!
:''[Valve laughs]''
:'''Valve:''' Oblivion.
:'''Six:''' Like I sad-- He's doing fine.
:'''Rex:''' Double-up! Where have you been all my life?
:''[Valve grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Cute toy. But I like mine better.
:'''Valve:''' Aah!
:'''Rex:''' Was there any doubt?
:'''Bobo:''' Yeah, plenty.
:''[Valve panting]''
:'''Rex:''' We had the deal. Remember?
:'''Valve:''' Like the storm that changes directions on a whim, the biker is changing the deal. 'Cause the biker-- ''[grunts]'' Doesn't like! ''[grunts]'' The biker-- ''[grunts]'' never loses! ''[grunts]'' Unh!
:'''Rex:''' First time for everything. Thank you, Six.
:'''Six:''' It was all you, kid.
:'''Moss:''' Rand!
:'''Biker gangs:''' Oh, Rand! Good to see you!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Completely detoxified. In a couple days, they'll be back to full strength. Those could be useful at the new base.
:'''Moss:''' You can't stop us from riding.
:'''Rex:''' What's stopping you? You can still ride. You just won't be poisoned by nanites. Come on. Race you back to the garage.
:''[Rex rides off]''
:'''Moss:''' ''[Chasing after Rex]'' You heard the man. Hit it!
:'''Six:''' You do realize we just turned a group of reckless teenage boys loose on the city.
:'''Bobo:''' All in a day's work.

===Heroes United, Part 1===
:'''Caesar:''' Now where are you? So it ''is'' you. This is most disturbing.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Ben:''' You know the friend you care about!? Well, I have a cousin, a grandfather, a best friend that I care about!! They don't exist here! I may never see them again! I'm totally alone! So go ahead! Do your worst.
: '''Rex:''' Maybe we can help each other.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I'm curious how big brother knows about something from a parallel dimension.
: '''Caesar:''' Because I sent it there. In the early days of the Nanite Project, our goal was simple. Construct microscopic machines to cure diseases, grow new cells, regenerate bones. They was a control issue. Some thought a human-machine link was the answer. Others proposed that the machines control themselves. I was in latter cam. I developed the Alpha to control other nanites. To maximize its effectiveness, I had to program Alpha to think for itself. 
:'''Ben:''' Does a low explanation mean something bad on your Earth too?
:'''Rex:''' Yep.
:'''Caesar:''' Alpha developed its own consciousness. It evolved into a unique life-form. It wanted a body, but whatever it built burned out. So when Alpha attempted possessing living this, Alpha had to be eliminated. So I built a dimensional disruptor.
:'''Ben:''' Looks like a Null Void gun. We got some like those back home, too.

===Heroes United, Part 2===
:'''Alpha:''' The nanites in those creatures. They are different, powerful. Your nanites are weak. I have no use for you. Where is the boy?
:'''Holiday:''' His nanites are off limits!!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' My brother!? Look around! He's not here!
:'''Alpha:''' The father is redundant. Now that I found you.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Alpha:''' I cannot merge! What makes you so special, human? Yes. You shelter an Omega.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''White Knight:''' Don't let it get to Rex! If it drains his nanites-!
:'''Diamondhead:''' Game over. I get it.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex''': My most powerful builds came from the Omega nanite. A lot of people are going to get hurt and I can't stop it. What happens when the best you can do just isn't enough?
:'''Ben''': You get an Upgrade.
:'''Rex:''' Weren't you listening? Alpha has the Omega.
:'''Ben:''' I'm not talking about a nanite.
:(''Transforms into Upgrade'')
:'''Rex''':  Hey, what are you- ''[Upgrade merges with Rex]'' Whoa, okay, that feels weird. ''[Upgrade covers Rex's body like a suit]'' Wow, what supposed to happen now? ''[Upgrade's head appears on Rex's left shoulder]'' Uh...don't do that, you freaking me out!
:'''Upgrade''': Build something!
:'''Rex''': ''[Builds a Smack Arm, which is modified by Upgrade]'' Sweet, so what's the plan?
:'''Upgrade''': You build stuff, I make it better. Fight fight fight, we win!
:'''Rex''':  Works for me! ''[Rex builds a Boogie Pack and blasts off]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Alpha''': Organics who rely on machines for their power, I don't need. The machines themselves, now those I will have.
===Phantom of the Soap Opera===
:'''Rex Salazar:''' In a world he never chose and barely understands... ''[Rex looks over the countryside from a cliff, jumps and lands in a snow scene]'' One incredibly good looking guy fights for us all. His name...you know it baby...Rex. ''[jumps into a lake scene]'' Forget train wrecks... ''[punches]'' And car wrecks... ''[kicks]'' Nothing brings the pain like this Rex. ''[runs into city scene. EVO walks down street, Rex runs up, jumps, grabs EVO's head and tears it off. Holds it over his head in victory gesture.]''
:'''Actor in costume:''' Yeah, yeah, that's hilarious kid.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Ah, anytime you want to stop trying to get me fired get back to the tour.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Sorry. Got caught up in the moment.
:'''Actor in costume:''' Ah, dude?
:''[Rex puts head back on the man in EVO costume.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' And on your left, the sound stage where they make the hit TV show Middle School Talent show.
:''[Teen girls on tour squeal and run towards it.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' That's a closed set. ''[Noah pulls on his hair]'' C'mon, this is my first week as a page, I could lose my job!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I got this. ''[pulls girls back from stage with turbines]'' I just don't get girls, how come they get so... ''[notices something behind Noah, acts all excited]'' Huh hu oh huh... oh El Amor de la Pasion del Amor! Why didn't you tell me EADLPDA was made here?
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Um, probably because I didn't really believe you actually still watch a soap opera.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' It's a telenovela. The actresses are smoking hot. And I don't have cable?...ah c'mon dude don't be a hater. ''[crosses arms]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Whatever. We're not going in there, they get like ten safety violations a week, no one's allowed in accept crew and studio staff.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' You mean like pages? ''[Brushes Noah's shoulder with his hand, smiling. Noah brushes his hand away.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' No way. My boss is a total butt-buster for the rules and she is always watching. ''[makes binocular with his hands]''
:'''Head Page:''' You got that right bub. ''[Rex looks behind him, and jumps away]'' By the way Page, you lose something? ''[has three girls from Noah's tour group tied up in a rope]'' Found these wandering over by Middle School Talent Show. ''[Noah runs over and unties them, rope falls]''
:'''Head Page:''' ''[points to her left eye]'' I got my one good eye on you, Nixon.
:''[On set of telenovela]''
:''[Isabella crying]''
:'''Reymundo:''' Pensabas que yo era tu marido. ¡Pero fue una mentira! Pero la verdad es que soy Reymundo, el hermano diabólico de Reynaldo.
:'''Isabella:''' Yo sé, pero todavía te amo.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[standing by salad bar in cafeteria looking up at TV screen]'' How can anyone say that's not great!
:''[Man in cowboy hat tips his hat to Noah]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Whoa? Celebrities know you?
:''[There are drinks on their trays at this point, then in the next frame there are no drinks on their trays and they go over to get drinks.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' The only one here who knows my name is my boss. I'm just a newb on an internship.
:''[Blond girl puts her hand on Noah's shoulder and reaches across him to get a soda, walks away, looks back and gives him a finger gun.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Yeah right, you just got a finger gun from TV weather lady Summer Sonnenshine.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' It's the page jacket not me, if you put this thing on everyone would think you work here. Still. I gotta admit it's pretty cool.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Y'know, I didn't even know you'd applied for this. But I guess when you jump ahead in time you gotta expect some surprises...OH MY GOSH... ''[drops tray]'' It's Isabella, from El Amor del Pasion del Amor.
:''[Rex throws up his arms, knocks tray into Noah's chest spilling it all over his jacket]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' AHHH!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I know she's even hotter in real life than she is on the...
:'''Noah Nixon:''' ''[looks down at tray and jacket]'' Ohhhhh...
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Okay, okay don't worry...
:'''Head Page:''' ''[yelling at another page behind Rex]'' You call yourself a page!
:'''Rex:''' Okay worry. ''[puts his fingers together]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' This is a huge violation of the dress code, oh I am so fired!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No you're not. Come on, move!
:''[They run to a supply closet.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' I've gotta lead another tour in 45 minutes. We can't get to a dry cleaners and back in 45 minutes.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' This is my bad, but I can fix this. ''[Noah panicking, rocking and hyperventilating]'' We just have to calm down and think. Just calm down. ''[Rex points at Noah]'' Noah, calm down!
:''[Rex grabs a bottle of pickles off the shelf, opens the lid and throw contents of jar at Noah's head. A pickle ends up in Noah's mouth, he spits it out.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Not helping. ''[Noah, calm now and not hyperventilating and rocking, wipes pickle juice out of his eyes.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Okay, listen we passed the wardrobe department on the tour, they've gotta have a washer and dryer right?
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Uh... yeah, I guess?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Alright, good, give me your outfit and stay put, I'll take care of everything else.
:''[Scene change. Sign which says laundry stages commissary.]''
:''[Rex runs towards laundry, passes stage of telenovela. Grins and stops. Looks into open door. Looks down at soiled jacket. Up at stage doorway. Walks away. Runs back and grins bigger. Walks into stage with Noah's jacket on.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh...
:'''Isabella:''' Finally! You are here!
:''[Isabella kisses Rex all over his face.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' This is happening, right? I'm not going to wake up and be making out with my pillow again am I?
:'''Isabella:''' Come with me, they want to cancel us you know. That's why the studio puts us here in this place falling apart with all the accidentes.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Soap operas do not get the respect they deserve.
:'''Isabella:''' You are very wise for your age. We don't even go backstage anymore. Too dangerous.
:''[A silhouette of a rat is seen, it squeaks]''
:'''Beatriz:''' Is that our page?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh...
:''[Rex falls]''
:'''Isabella:''' He's mine, I saw him first!
:''[Rex gets up and Isabella grabs him.]''
:'''Isabella:''' He is mine!!!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hum?
:'''Beatriz:''' Why don't we let him decide?
:'''[Rex is being pulled back and forth]''
:'''Isabella:''' You would like that wouldn't you?
:'''Beatriz:''' Yes I would! Very much.
:'''Isabella:''' Fine.
:''[Girls growl at each other and walk away.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[grinning]'' Did they just cat-fight over me?
:''[The girls come back with lists.]''
:'''Isabella:''' Here is a list of what I need you to do!
:'''Beatriz:''' And here's mine!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' You want me to work on the show?
:'''Beatriz:''' Claro que si, we haven't had a page on set in ages.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' But I'm not ... ''[looks over the girls]'' ...able to think of one reason why I would pass this up.
:''[Screen cuts to Noah looking out the door. He sees the chief page and closes the door quickly, after that, the scene changes back to Rex carrying boxes of water with yogurt on top.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I got your yogurt, but I couldn't find the water you wanted. So I got these.
:'''Isabella:''' You are dead to me! But I will take this one. ''[takes yogurt]''
:''[Rex stares in shock and drops the boxes full of water.]''
:''[Old man walks in a dressing room, and Reynaldo comes out soon later.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Whoa, it's Reynaldo! Uh, coffee? ''[offers him a mug of coffee]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' Gracias.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Leche?
:'''Reynaldo:''' How dare you! I am lactose intolerant.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh, okay, didn't know that. Sugar?
:''[Reynaldo knocks the sugar out of his hand.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' Real men take their coffee strong and hot. Are you suggesting that I am not a real man?
:''[Rex looks around and the phone rings.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Rex, where are you?
:'''Reynaldo:''' No phone! ''[Reynaldo knocks the phone out of his hand.]'' You will talk to me face to face. Mano a mano! ''[grabs Rex's jacket]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey wait what are you... ''[Reynaldo pulls Rex away from table. Stage light falls where Rex was standing]'' ...Oh, thanks!
:''[Everyone runs up to them.]''
:'''Beatriz:''' Not another accidente!
:'''Isabella:''' ''[scared]'' Ay. Dios mio! No!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' It's okay, I'm fine.
:'''Isabella:''' ''[pushes Rex down]'' My jogurt!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I'd hate to be the guy that has to clean that up... ''[whispers to man though they look at him]'' Oh. ''[Reynaldo hands him the mop.]''
:'''Beatriz:''' If I didn't know better, I'd say that someone was trying to kill us.
:'''Reynaldo:''' Someone is. The head of the studio is trying to kill our soap opera. That's why he put us in this accursed stage, with all these accidentes. But we... ''[another stage light falls and hits his head, he falls to the ground]'' Aahh... Por que? Ay.
:''[Rex looks up and sees a mongoose...runs after it...goes backstage. Sees clowns and a sign saying “Mongo”.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Ugh! Clowns.
:''[The mongoose squeaks.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Lemme guess. You're the one who's been causing all the accidents.
:''[Mongo growls, bears teeth]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Okay, let's say we can wrap this up quietly. Last thing I need is someone wondering why the guy in the page jacket can do this. ''[wraps Mongo up in the whip thing, Mongo gets tiny, escapes, growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Guess that explains how you've been able to hide out back here. ''[Mongo pulls lever cannon comes out of floor and fires at Rex. Platform falls Rex dodges. Mongo squeaks]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Can we please do this a little more quietly and with a lot less YOU trying to kill me?
:''[Mongo jumps into the “O” of his name on the sign.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Wait, that's you, isn't it? You just want your job back. I can help you. ''[reaches in and tries to cure him Mongo runs out and traps Rex's hand]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Enough with the booby traps, I'm trying to help you. ''[Mongo sets off another trap]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh-oh. [makes big fist, weight on rope swings and hits Rex, makes noise]
:'''Beatriz:''' What's going on back there?
:'''Isabella:''' Where is that page? I am beginning to wonder ...HOW LONG IS IT GOING TO TAKE FOR HIM TO CLEAN UP MY JOGURT!!!!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[Getting thrown around back stage]'' Ouch. ''[gets beat up by mechanical clowns]''
:''[Mongo cuts stars from ceiling they fall and cut Rex's jacket]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Ok, New plan-- First I smash your face, then I cure you.
:''[Mongo knocks over equipment]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No. ''[grabs equipment, Mongo jumps on his arm, punches him and he falls]'' Oww! Look out!
:''[Actors run from set, Rex falls and smashes set]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uhh, okay here's the deal—all the accidents you've been having they were caused by an EVO backstage. It used to be a mongoose and now it wants it's old job back. ''[last wall of stage set falls behind him]''
:'''Beatriz:''' What are jou talking about?
:'''Isabella:''' We just saw you ruin our set.
:'''Reynaldo:''' You are trying to destroy this soap opera just like the rest of them! It is true what they say, this sound stage must be cursed for us to have such a horrible page such as you, Senior... ''[looks at name badge]'' Noah Nixon.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Whoa, wait. This isn't Noah's fault.
:''[Three actors gasps]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' ''[tears off his own shirt]'' Now you insult us by talking about yourself in the third person! Somehow we must rebuild and finish our shoot! But as soon as we do, Noah Nixon, I will have you fired!
:''[Workers fixing set, Rex's phone rings.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Rex! Finally. How's the jacket?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Umm. Well, the good news is you won't notice the stain anymore. Hey uh, by the way, your page training, did it include anything about the creepy backstage in studio B?
:'''Noah Nixon: What? Why are you--
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No reason. I was just thinking, hypothetically, what would happen if I used your jacket to take a quick peek at the telenovela and ended up chasing some killer EVO mongoose? Hypothetically... Uh...Noah?
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Sorry, just trying to figure out how to tell my parents I have no future.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey I got this. I hit a little snag. Just keep your pants on.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' ''[sitting the maintenance closet in his underwear]'' Heh!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Sorry, look, you don't have anything to worry about all I have to do is catch the EVO before they finish shooting and clear my... your name.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' You know what? I'm not worried. I am completely resigned to the fact that I am losing my job. ''[Noah hangs up on Rex. Rex hears dial tone.]''
:'''Beatriz:''' ''[to Reynaldo]'' You are bleeding!
:'''Reynaldo:''' What I am is an actor! We must shoot this scene. We cannot let them cancel us! ''[moans and falls on his face crushing a chair]''
:'''Beatriz:''' You cannot go on.
:'''Isabella:''' If only there were someone else here who knows our show, is fluent in Spanish, and will do a scene in which he kisses me.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I'll do it!!!
:'''Reynaldo:''' You? The one who ruined our set and lied about the EVO? I'd rather die! But then, my life will surely end if the show is canceled, so maybe... But no! It's impossible. But yet, what is more impossible than a dream. Nothing means more than my dream of saving this telenovela!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' So, is that a--
:'''Reynaldo:''' Si. You will be our savior. And then I will have you fired. Accion!
:''[Rex is dressed as Reynaldo. Takes Isabella in his arms and looks deep into her eyes, smiles..then turns away, sees Mongo and gasps. Isabella pulls his face back to her and puckers for a kiss. Mongo squeaks and runs out the door and Rex turns his eyes towards it.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[thinking]'' Okay no kiss, but you're gonna save Noah's job! ''[groans]'' Nope. Doesn't make it any better. ''[Runs out Isabelle runs after him, trips on his wig and falls to the ground gasping, reaching after him]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[makes Rex Ride to chase Mongo down alley. Runs into a set. Falls]'' Where'd you go?
:'''Guy in suit:''' You! Page! Take this script to post, pronto.
:'''Rex Salazar: Hey wait, I'm not--
:'''Guy in suit:''' Oh? You're not going to do it? Are you talking back to me Mr.... Nixon?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No. Mr. Nixon is not definitely not talking back to whoever you are. ''[takes script, leaves]''
:'''Guy in suit:''' Nixon! ''[Points in the other direction of where Rex was going. Rex goes where he's pointing]''
:''[Rex walks by alley hears Mongo munching garbage, sneaks up, tries to cure it. It escapes, Rex corners it in dead end alley]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Oh you're not so tough when you can't hide, are you? ''[Mongo growls and grows huge]'' Oh so you can do that too. ''[Mongo roars, swipes at Rex with claws]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey, watch the jacket. I'm in enough trouble already. ''[Sets down scripts. Big fists. Mongo shrinks to escape. Rex falls to the ground. Mongo gets huge again behind him, tries to stomp on Rex, Rex rolls out of the way, Mongo shrinks and runs away, Rex climbs out of hole in ground breathing heavily and falls to ground.]''
:'''Guy in suit:''' ''[walks up]'' Are you kidding me? You still haven't delivered that script? ''[Rex runs off]''
:'''Guy in suit:''' Nixon! ''[points in other direction, Rex runs that way]''
:''[Mongo jumps off roof grows huge lands on Rex, grabs script.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey, gimme that! ''[grabs Mongo with big fist throws him into a stage building]''
:''[Rex looks in the hole into the stage.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Sorry. ''[runs off after Mongo]''
:''[Mongo throws him higher than the roof tops, Rex lands on big feet, Mongo tackles him. Rex lands in front of the post building, grabs remains of script out of Mongo's mouth. Mongo runs away, Rex gathers script remains and hands it to man at post door.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I think this is for you. ''[runs after Mongo]''
:''[Phone rings]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Did you catch it?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Not yet, but I delivered a script for you, well, most of it.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' I am so dead.
:'''Lady with clipboard:''' ''[grabs Rex by the collar]'' Noah Nixon, you're right on time for your two p.m. tour. ''[Gives Rex clipboard and keys]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[Driving tram with tourists]'' Uh, there's a building where some TV shows are made and there's another one and oh great there's the giant killer EVO.
:''[Mongo chasing tram, Rex steps on gas. Tram goes sloooow. Mongo attacks tram. Rex lands, catches tourists with big hands, flies off on hoverboard]''
:'''Tourist:''' They had better special effects at my kids' school play.
:''[Back on soap opera stage]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' I need a bigger reaction from you. Bigger!
:''[Rex crashes through ceiling with Mongo hanging on the bottom of his hoverboard, heading towards Isabella.]''
:''[Isabella screams and covers head, Mongo crashes into set]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' Yes! That's it exactly!
:''[Mongo growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Be careful or you're gonna get the hand. ''[big fists with right hand. Mongo jumps at him, Rex grins and raises his left hand and cures Mongo. Mongo lays on ground cute and unconscious.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' That's not the hand I meant.
:''[Actors, stunned, applaud]''
:''[Rex picks up Mongo.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' You are a good page, Noah Nixon.
:''[Mongo wakes up runs around on Rex and perches on his shoulder cutely.]''
:''[At supply closet with Noah, Rex walks in holding torn up jacket]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Oh, my jacket! ''[Cuddles jacket, then holds it up and glares at Rex through the hole in it. Rex grins guiltily.]''
:''[Head Page walks in, Noah hides jacket, then realizes he is in underwear and tries to hide himself behind jacket.]''
:'''Head Page:''' I got a dozen calls from all over the lot about you, Nixon. I don't know what you were thinking. ''[He sits down, sweat runs down his face, he closes his eyes, frowns, runs head away. Head page grabs him and hugs him.]''
:'''Head Page:''' I'm proud of you, kiddo! It took me sixty seven years to make chief page. I bet you'll get the job in half that time. ''[Noah stands up holding jacket in front of him. Rex and Noah look puzzled Head Page walks to door, turns back]''
:'''Head Page:''' Oh and them soap opera fellas, eh, they got a special reward for you. ''[they look at each other with puzzled frowns]''
:''[Telenovela stage, Noah dressed as Reynaldo. Isabella kisses him.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' And cut! You look differante than you did before, Noah Nixon. ''[Noah looks up at his blond eyebrows and takes off the wig and mustache. Smiles at Reynaldo. Reynaldo looks at him thoughtfully.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' I can see you've been to makeup. Good you finally look like a real man! ''[Noah smiles.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' [peeking in from backstage, makes a jealous face as Noah is laughing together with the actors.] It's OK, it's OK. You're a good friend, you're a good friend.
:'''Guy in suit:''' You! Quit talking to yourself and get me some coffee! ''[Rex runs off]'' Nixon!
:''[Mongo looking down from rafters]''

===Riddle of the Sphinx===
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' They uncovered the tunnel during routine sewer work. No one has set foot in here in over 3.500 years.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Providence doesn't work the location yet?
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' ''[laughs]'' The antiquities comission does not like this Black Knight. They keep her busy with much paperwork.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The maze looks like it extends for miles. They do that to keep looters out?
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' Or to keep something in.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Anything that was trapped in here couldn't be alive after all this time.
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' I-I-I must go.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''': Watch out! Bobby traps.
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' That's not what I'm afraid of.
:'''Bobo:''' It's only been a few days since we heard from Holiday.
:'''Six:''' Something's wrong.
:'''Bobo:''' Maybe she wanted a vacation from you clowns. &quot;Something's wrong.&quot;
:''[Bobo grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Providence! She in is trouble.
:'''Six:''' Black Knight. And she has your better half.
:'''Bobo:''' I'm predictin' an awkward situation.
:'''Black Knight:''' Hello, Rex. If you came for your friend, I'll have to disappoint you.
:'''Rex:''' That hairy creep? You can keep the traitor. Hey! My faithful guide, why don't you go away while we discuss business?
:'''Bobo:''' It's me, you dopey tin can! Beat it! Or the boss lady's gonna get wise to our little switcheroo.
:'''Rex:''' What's the campout for?
:'''Black Knight:''' Routine scientific research.
:'''Rex:''' Look, I know Holiday was here. What'd you do with her?
:'''Black Knight:''' We arrived an hour ago. The locals say Holiday unleashed a monster down in the tunnels. The situation's under control. As soon as we've secured the tunnels, I'll send a team in to see if she's still alive.
:'''Rex:''' I'm going with you.
:'''Black Knight:''' You're going nowhere. You quit Providence. Unless you're recosindering?
:'''Rex:''' Come on, guide. Holiday's in those tunnels. But Black Knight has a whole battalion of Providence goons guarding the entrance.
:'''Six:''' I figured she'd be no help. That's why I found someone who knows a back way in.
:'''Egyptian Cooker:''' The Kushari is healthy. For the stomach, good.
:'''Rex:''' Enough about the Kushari! Where's the back entrance?
:'''Egyptian Cooker:''' For so young, you in such a hurry. And old cook like me, I live by selling Kushari. Why not buy some? You buy, I give you more information.
:'''Bobo:''' Ah, come on. Stop bein' so stingy. Buy some more.
:'''Six:''' Where's the back entrance?
:'''Egyptian Cooker:''' The sewer man-- They came to fix a leak. They found the tunnel to the entrance in my basement.
:'''Bobo:''' Mmm!
:'''Rex:''' Way cool! Maybe we'll see some mummies!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Tell us where Holiday is!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Where do you think I am?
:'''Six:''' Holiday!
:'''Bobo:''' So, what's with the halloween get up, doc?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I found it in one of the chambers. Scares off the curious. I need to get to the bottom of all this before Black Knight.
:'''Rex:''' The bottom of what? This is all ancient history?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You can this ancient history?
:'''Rex:''' That looks like a nanite!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That's because it is a nanite.
:'''Six:''' How could they have knowledge back then?
:'''Rex:''' Aliens! Like the ones that built the pyramids.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' None of this is more advanced that the 21st century. It's not aliens. I think the answers lie behind this door. But I can't figure out how to open it.
:'''Rex:''' Open the door? No problem, Doc!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Stop! This whole place is booby-trapped. We open this wrong, they'll bring the tunnels down on us.
:'''Rex:''' If there's a wrong way to open it, then that means there's a right way, too. Maybe the nanite picture is a clue. The whole thing is rigged like one. Told you-- No prob. Whoa, mumies.
:'''Bobo:''' What are you lookin' at, beautiful?
:'''Rex:''' Ha! Awesome! I'd love to see the look on Knight's face when she finds out we've beat her here.
:'''Black Knight:''' Then let me step a little closer so you can see.
:'''Six:''' How'd you find us?
:'''Black Knight:''' Your mole helped me.
:'''Bobo:''' Sorry, pal.
:'''Black Knight:''' I should have known better. It's old junk from the dead.
:''[Black Knight gasps]''
:'''Guranset:''' Gharun Set is not dead.
:'''Rex:''' Put her down!
:'''Black Knight:''' This isn't the time for violence. Our host has forgotten his manners. I presume he hasn't had guests in a long time.
:'''Guranset:''' Almost an eternity. Gharun Set said has waited for his release. Awaken this cursed prison through the ages.
:'''Black Knight:''' You speak English. That is interesting. Who taught your own language, Gharun Set?
:'''Guranset:''' I was taught by the great father.
:'''Black Knight:''' Father? What did he look me?
:'''Guranset:''' He is dead-- As all of you soon shall be!
:'''Black Knight:''' Now's the time for violence.
:'''Guranset:''' Aah!
:'''Black Knight:''' A nanite disrupter. Something I had your brother's lab whip up. It's quite lethal.
:'''Rex:''' Looks like the lab forgot to tell him that.
:'''Guranset:''' The boy controls the engines of life? It can't be. I laid low the armies of six kingdoms, swordsman. You think your tiny blades can stop me?
:'''Rex:''' Try this one for size!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex!
:'''Rex:''' Huh?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' His staff is a nanite disrupter. Get it away from him.
:'''Rex:''' Easier said than done!
:'''Guranset:''' Haah!
:'''Rex:''' Oh, mummies!
:'''Bobo:''' Yeah, yeah, you got your mummies. I hope you're happy!
:'''Six:''' Rex! We can handle this! He's getting away!
:'''Guranset:''' One last trap to keep me imprisoned, father. Nothing will keep me from my destiny! You serve his plan, child, and don't even know it.
:'''Rex:''' Everybody talk weird in ancient Egypt, or it is just your special thing? Uh... are they supposed to do that?
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Guranset:''' Finally! I am free!
:'''Six:''' These EVO's won't say dead.
:'''Bobo:''' Their breath stinks, too! Ah, boy!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You could thank me for saving your life.
:'''Black Knight:''' Dr. Holiday, our lives are not safe yet.
:'''Guranset:''' I am not alone. Together, we shall reconquer this land, and then.. the world!
:'''Rex:''' Uh, I think the sun's baked him loopy. You can't reanimate that. It's a statue.
:'''Guranset:''' This is not statue, child. It is a tomb. Arise, my mighty steed. Arise, my sphinx!
:'''Rex:''' Providence, this is Rex. You may want to evacuate Cairo.
:'''Guranset:''' This city is a blight upon my kingdom. All shall be as it once was.
:'''Rex:''' I'm warning you, Gharun Set-- I don't want to have to get rough with you. Step off the pussycat.
:'''Guranset:''' You presume to tell a pharaoph what to do. Be gone!
:'''Six:''' Holiday. There's something I want to tell you before it's too late.
:'''Bobo:''' Ugh. Hold still! Oh, no.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' All of them. Like the nanites keeping them alive... self-destructed? I'm sorry. What were you going to say?
:'''Six:''' Holiday... I, uh...
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hold that thought.
:'''Bobo:''' What's it gonna be, the kooky chicks or we go help Rex save the world?
:'''Six:''' Rex probably has this under control. Holiday needs my-- our help.
:'''Bobo:''' Yeah, I can't resist a good catfight either.
:'''Rex:''' Let me handle! This it's too dangerous!
:'''Pilot:''' Black Knight, target sighted. It's riding a 50-foot-tall house cat. Please advise.
:'''Black Knight:''' Do not harm. Contain and capture. We need that specimen.
:''[Black Knight gasps]''
:'''Black Knight:''' Pilot disregard. Last order. Target no longer needed. Destroy. Repeat-- Destroy.
:'''Pilot:''' You're with the lady. Lock and load.
:'''Rex:''' Huh? Whoa! Get out of here! I don't know what he's up to, but it's not good.
:'''Garunset:''' Behold the majesty of my dream. My kingdom! My paradise!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' What is this place?
:'''Black Knight:''' It's the stuff of legends. The fabled hall of records which lay hidden beneath where the sphinx once was.
:'''Bobo:''' &quot;Was&quot;?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' This can't be! That's the helix splitter. And that looks like a nano-flux inducer. Caesar built the first prototype of one last year.
:'''Black Knight:''' I can't let you touch any of this. It's too unstable with age. When you blundered in the tomb, you set off a safeguard. Someone thought this room too dangerous for the world to know about.
:'''Bobo:''' Agreed. Let's scram!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' We can't! Don't you know what this means to science? The knowledge in here is invaluable. It cannot be lost-- Again!
:'''Black Knight:''' It won't be! Now that we know where it is, we can dig it out later. We will study it. I promise you that.
:'''Six''': Holiday. Let it go.
:'''Guranset''': As father promised-- I will rule forever.
:'''Rex''': Forever is gonna be shorter than you think.
:'''Guranset''': No! Nooooo!
:'''Rex''': Aw, come on! I didn't hit you that hard!
:''[Guranset gasps]''
:'''Rex''': What's happening to you?
:''[Guranset gasps]''
:'''Guranset''': Aaaaaaaaah!
:''[Guranset grunts]''
:'''Guranset''': Do not touch your pharaoh.
:'''Rex''': You need help. Your nanites are dying of old age-- I think. It's like starting an old car. Uh, o-or a camel. Let me help you. I can fix your nanites, and then maybe--
:'''Guranset''': Lies!
:'''Rex''': You're in a strange time, a strange place. We have science, machines. We can help you. Trust us.
:'''Guranset''': Like you trust the woman you call Black Knight? I see now this is a world of lies. You and I have no place in it. Father told me of you... Rex.
:'''Rex:''' What? How do you know my--
:'''Guranset''': I would have helped the world. Ended the hunger, the wars. But now he will return. Avenge me. ''[Echoing]'' I see now this is a world of lies. You and I have no place in it.
&lt;hr width80/&gt;
:'''Black Knight:''' You wanted something?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The hall of records-- You can't keep it a secret. It must be studied. That hall--
:'''Black Knight:''' What hall?
:'''Rex:''' Why'd you do that?! Holiday said--
:'''Black Knight:''' Some secrets are best left buried under the sands, Rex.
:''[Dr. Holiday grunts]''
:'''Black Knight:''' Gentleman. Dr. Holiday.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six, what'd you want to tell me back in the tomb?
:'''Six:''' It can wait.
:'''Rex:''' Don't wait too long.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' All those priceless artifacts. And we still don't know who created Gharun Set.

===Guy vs. Guy===
:'''Rex:''' This means war.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Double Vision===
: ''[The episode starts as a butterfly flies through plants in a flower shop. Suddenly, Rex is thrown into the shop window, making nearby civilians run away. Rex gets up and looks out of the broken glass, seeing a beastly plant EVO, a few people watching, and Agent Six slashing his swords around to evade the EVO's tentacles.]''
: '''Rex:''' ''[Pants and brushes leaves off his sleeve and puts on goggles.]'' Not bad!
: ''[Uses the Punk Busters to jump out of the shop and generates his Smack Hands to uppercut the EVO, causing it to crash into a nearby building.]'' But I'm better!
: ''[The EVO gets out of the glass windows and roars, attacking Agent Six.]''
: '''Agent Six:'''	''[Cuts off a tentacle and walks towards Rex.]'' Talk is cheap, Rex. Prove it.
: '''Rex:''' ''[Generating the Smack Hands.]'' No problemo.
: ''[The EVO rushes towards Rex, unfortunately, Rex grabs it and slams it onto the ground. A random girl is driving up the road on a moped. However, she is stopped as the EVO blocks the path.]''
: '''Rex:''' ''[Putting his hands up to assure the girl.]'' Nothing to worry about, I've got this handled. ''[Turns to EVO, whom is still on the floor.]'' Okay big guy, say adiós to those nasty nanites.
: '''Rex:''' ''[Rex kneels down to cure the EVO, flowers spout out of the EVO]'' Aw, for me? Does this mean we're dating?
: ''[Suddenly, the flowers shoot out some goo into Rex's face, making him slam onto the floor, a crowd forms around the battle.]''
: '''Rex:''' ''[Yelps while getting up and pulls his goggles off and wipes the goo off his face.]'' Oh, that's better. ''[He gives his goggles to the random female on the moped]'' Hey! Watch these for me. ''[Runs back into battle and generates the Punk Busters and kicks the blacked out EVO over a building.]'' Goal! Hey thanks for holding onto my...huh?...
: ''[Rex turns around to see the girl missing from the crowd. Deforming his Punk Busters, he spots the girl riding away on her moped. She turns to look back at Rex, appearing to have on his goggles.]''
: '''Rex:''' Goggles!
: ''[Rex puts one of his hands up to signal for her to wait, but the EVO returns and wraps its tentacle around Rex's neck. The EVO twists Rex in mid-air in the sky for a minute before slamming him onto the cement. Rex gets up and sees the goggle girl riding away out of sight.]''
: '''Rex:''' Hey! You've got my...ungh...goggles... Aah! Ungh! Did you see that girl?! She stole my goggles!
: '''Agent Six:''' Priorities, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' They are my priority, Six. I can pound EVOs any day. Those goggles are-- Ah, great. Who invited her?
: '''Black Knight:''' Stand down, gentlemen. We've got this covered.
: '''Rex:''' We don't need any help. Whoa! Whoa! Ungh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Obviously. Control collar-- Now. We'll take it from here.
: '''Rex:''' Take it from whe-e-re?! I've already got this under contro-o-o-o-l! Whoa! Ugh! Let me try to cure it.
: '''Black Knight:''' The new Providence protocol is to confine, constrain and control. If curing is an option, it will be considered-- At my discretion.
: '''Rex:''' Control? I can cure it now and end this.
: '''Black Knight:''' The offer still stands. If you want to come back to Providence, you can continue your mission.
: '''Rex:''' I have my mission!
: '''Black Knight:''' Curing every EVO on Earth isn't a mission, Rex. It's an impossibility.
: '''Rex:''' Watch me.
: '''Black Knight:''' Everybody back! Contain those seedlings!
: '''Rex:''' You just made it worse! Now I've got to clean up your mess. Starting with this guy. See? Fearing works!
: '''Black Knight:''' It was your actions that exacerbated this situation. I want full containment and control over those seedlings. Move out-- Now.
: '''Agent Six:''' While you were arguing, Holiday found another sprout. Let's go deal with that before Providence does.
: '''Rex:''' But-- My goggles!
: '''Agent Six:''' Focus, Rex. We've got work to do.
: '''Rex:''' Nice work!
: '''Agent Six:''' Drop in the bucket. Look below.
: '''Rex:''' Wow. And I thought I'd be able to knock off early today.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' On the contrary, Rex. By overlaying current worldwide wind patterns on top of international population centers, we're looking at total global infestation within thirty-eight hours.
: '''Bobo:''' Ooh, that's a lot of roughage.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' I need to get in the field and obtain some live samples. Bobo and I will meet you at the rendezvous point in the mobile command center.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, doc. We're almost there. Hey! It's that girl! Wh-o-o-o-oa!
: '''Agent Six:''' What's gotten into you, Rex?
: '''Rex:''' My goggles-- I can't see without them!
: '''Agent Six:''' Obviously, you can see without them.
: '''Rex:''' Well, yeah, but I really need them a lot of the time. Don't you remember when I first got them?
: '''Agent Six:''' Actually, no.
: '''Rex:''' Oh. Sorry. My bad. It was early on, when I was just learning to control my powers. Whoa!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Aaaah! Aah! Aaaaah! Oof!
: '''Agent Six:''' Horse manure.
: '''Rex:''' This is exactly why I need my goggles! Hey! I thought this thing was just a sprout!
: '''Agent Six:''' It's the nature of plants to grow.
: '''Rex:''' Hm. Very Zen of you, Six. Well, it's the nature of me to kick EVO butt! Whoa! Oof! Yuck! This stuff really stinks!
: '''Agent Six:''' All yours.
: '''Rex:''' Ta-da! And for my next trick... Oh, and look who's late to the party.
: '''Black Knight:''' ''[Entering]'' Alpha team, I want you to lay down suppressive fire and--
: ''[Realizing the EVOs not there]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Belay that. Sit Ops, I was told we had a Class-Three EVO situation here. Where is the EVO?
: '''Rex:''' ''[Rex hands her flowers]'' Sorry. This is all that's left. Six, are we good here? I've got to run.
: '''Agent Six:''' I'd put those in water.
: '''Black Knight:''' Unh!
: '''Rex:''' Slow down! I just want to-- Ungh!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex:''' Huh? What?! No way! Hey! You've got my-- Ugh! Whoa! ...Goggles.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You've got bigger problems than a girl on a scooter, Rex. First a flower shop, then gardening supplies. It's getting hungrier. Gentlemen, I suggest you get to the sewage-treatment plant as quickly as possible.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Why?
: '''Agent Six:''' Fertilizer, Rex, as in if those sprouts chow down on that much raw nourishment, we're in some deep...
: ''[Plant EVO bursts through a nearby wall]''
: '''Rex:''' ...Horse maneure. Hungry? Eat this!
: '''Agent Six:''' Holiday, get to the sewage plant. We'll meet you there after we clean up.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Clean up? I'd rather make a mess! Shoulda brought my chainsaw.
: '''Agent Six:''' Shoot the seedlings!
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Okay, this time I'm going to--
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Hey! Wait! Aw, man! Back off!
: ''[Rex panting]''
: '''Bobo:''' You went a little nuts there, buddy. I like it! But... Goggles?
: '''Rex:''' That EVO interrupted before I could finish the story.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Agent Six:''' Here, kid. Try these on.
: '''Rex:''' Um, so I can look like a total doofus?
: '''Agent Six:''' You have no idea how unique these goggles are, Rex. A reclusive weaponsmith in Zurich crafted this single pair before he turned EVO.
: '''Rex:''' Really? And then what happened to him?
: '''Agent Six:''' I did. He won't be crafting any more goggles.
: '''Rex:''' Cool!
: '''Agent Six:''' These are one-of-a-kind, Rex-- Special, for you.
: '''Bobo:''' What a bunch of chimp chips! Those goggles are-- Whoa!
: '''Rex:''' Wow. That is a lot of rampaging EVO.
: '''Bobo:''' Yeah. Lucky holiday-- She's right in the thick of it.
: '''Rex:''' Lucky?
: '''Bobo:''' She gets to try out all the special modifications I made to that sweet ride.
: ''[Dr. Holiday grunts]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Plant EVO has Holiday trapped inside the Mobile Command Center]'' Okay. Let's see how you like 10,000 volts of--
: ''[Holiday presses a button, and music starts playing]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Bobo's mix tape?! Who puts the stereo next to the weapons system?! One more time-- Big red button. Always go for the big red button. Unless you don't want to drain the batteries to zero.
: ''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Bobo, your improvements could use some improvements. Rex, if you're not too busy, I'd appreciate a little assistance.
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, ain't that your girlfriend?
: '''Agent Six:''' She can take care of herself, right, Rex?
: '''Rex:''' Right-- For now.
: ''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' That's more like it. Ungh! Fine! Let's see how you like this! I don't know what you just did, Rex, but thanks. Rex?
: '''Black Knight:''' I admit our last encounter didn't end well, but I think we need to work together on this one.
: '''Rex:''' You want to work together? We left Providence, remember?
: '''Black Knight:''' Rex--
: '''Rex:''' What happened to &quot;stay out of my way&quot;?
: '''Black Knight:''' Rex!
: '''Rex:''' So now when you need somebody to take out your trash, you can just forget that I quit your crummy organization?
: '''Black Knight:''' Yes, Rex, I can, because I don't let my emotions guide my choices. I only want what's best for Providence-- And the world.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, cool. Just wanted to hear you say it. Aah!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, the EVO is too big to cure without getting to its core.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah, well, I'm not doing much good out here!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' All those vines, the seedlings, everything-- They're just puppets to the plant. Stop those nanites in the core, and you cut the strings.
: '''Rex:''' On it! Huh?!
: '''Agent Six:''' Watch it, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' Whoa! All I want are my goggles. All I've wanted all day are my goggles, and this EVOs been blocking me over and over! Hey, Bobo, you know how to shoot one of these?
: '''Bobo:''' Eh, how hard could it be?
: '''Rex:''' Load me into this thing and point it right at that EVO's sweet spot. And hurry. I got better stuff to do.
: '''Bobo:''' You do know that's 30,000 gallons of raw sewage you're aimin' at?
: '''Rex:''' Don't remind me. Oh... Yuck! Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck!
: '''Agent Six:''' Elegant solution, Rex.
: '''Bobo:''' You don't smell elegant. You stink worse than me. I'm a little jealous.
: '''Black Knight:''' All right, Rex. Get to work.
: '''Rex:''' Work? What do you mean? I just served that vegetable!
: '''Black Knight:''' You cut the strings, but you still have to fix the puppets.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' She's right, Rex.
: '''Black Knight:''' You want to cure the world? Start curing.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex:''' Whoa, man, I'm beat! I don't think I can move another inch if you paid me.
: ''[Goggle girl rides past him]''
: '''Rex:''' Gotta move! See ya! Hey! Stop for a second! Six, I'm really starting to think this girl's got some kind of EVO action going on-- Teleporter, speedster, something.
: '''Goggle girl:''' Hey!
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Six, she's not just a teleporter. She can make doubles of herself-- Multiple abilities! She's an EVO, like me!
: '''Goggle girl:''' It's the skeevy guy who's been chasing me. He was chasing me, too. And me. What do you want?
: '''Rex:''' You took my goggles! I want them back!
: '''Goggle girl:''' Hey, Einstein, did you see our logo? That stands for &quot;Goggle Girl&quot;, as in the delivery service. You haven't ever heard of us?
: '''Rex:''' Um... No.
: '''Goggle girl:''' &quot;Nothing is cuter than a girl on a scooter.&quot; Kind of hard to miss.
: ''[Goggle girl groans]''
: '''Goggle girl:''' It's the worst slogan ever.
: '''Rex:''' But-- But my goggles!
: '''Goggle girl:''' Part of our costume. The boss buys them in bulk, along with these cheesy wigs he makes us wear. It's kind of lame.
: '''Rex:''' In bulk?! Those goggles?! But... They're one-of-a-kind! They're special! They're-- They're... I'll just go now. Nope. Nope. Definitely not.
: '''Agent Six:''' I still don't know why those goggles were so important to you.
: '''Rex:''' You gave to me, Six. It was the first present, the first nice thing that I remember getting since you found me. You said they were special, and that made me feel special.
: '''Six:''' Yes, about those goggles... Apparently, according to Bobo, I may have misled you. There was dozens of them in the Providence service bay.
: '''Rex:''' I knew the story was fake, but you told it because you cared about me. That's what made them special.
: '''Agent Six:''' I see.
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, champ. You got a package.
: '''Goggle girl:''' Sign, please.
: '''Agent Six:''' It's for you. From us. Just open it.
: '''Rex:''' My goggles!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Better. We commissioned an enhanced version.
: '''Rex:''' Cool! Infrared... Microscopic... Nanovision?! Thanks, you guys. You really are one-of-a-kind.
: '''Bobo:''' Those are great, but these are me.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' I just need to hold on to them for a few more hours while I run a full diagnostic.
: '''Rex:''' A few hours?! I just got them! Aw!
: '''Bobo:''' Here-- Because I care.
: '''Goggle girl:''' They actually look kinda cute.
: '''Rex:''' Hey, doc! No rush!
: '''Bobo:''' Ain't love grand?

===Black and White===
: '''Calan:''' Be advised, we've got activity. Major activity. Stop right there, or we'll shoot! Don't make me do it.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, I know what you're thinking, but this is totally not what it looks like.
: '''Calan:''' Calan to command, tell Black Knight-- We have apprehended the intruders. Repeat, we got'em.
: '''Rex:''' No! Get out of my head! Stop it! Stop! Stop with the talking! A dream. Oh, thank you! For a second, I swore that I heard his voice. It was almost like he was in the-- Room. Huh?!
: '''White Knight:''' I was wondering if I was gonna have to send the monkey in with a bucket of water. But I thought, &quot;why should he have all the fun?&quot; Five minutes-- Situation room. Consider this your wake-up call.
: '''Rex:''' Aren't you supposed to be playing dead? You're lucky Black Knight doesn't know you're here.
: '''White Knight:''' Black Knight thinks what I want her to think. With the installation of the new regime, I suspected that there was more going on at providence than just this new control protocol. I decided to test my hypothesis. I needed time to operate freely without prying eyes. So I went off the grid.
: '''Rex:''' And from the smell of it, you haven't changed out of your suit since then.
: ''[Bobo sniffs]''
: '''White Knight:''' I've been busy. I've been tracking their operations. They involve familiar locales and even more familiar machinery.
: '''Rex:''' You still use a camera with film? Do they even make that stuff anymore?
: '''White Knight:''' What they don't make are machines like these. This is the wreckage of Rylander's lab.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Are they doing what I think they're doing?
: '''Rex:''' Do what?
: '''White Knight:''' It appears that this new Providence is restarting the nanite program.
: '''Rex:''' There is no way my brother would help restart something that nearly destroyed the world. There's got to be a good explanation. We should just ask him.
: '''White Knight:''' We can't risk direct contact. We need to infiltrate Providence, download her computer banks, and assess how far along they are before we take any other actions.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Over there.
: '''Rex:''' Just saying there's more here than meets the eye. Whoa!
: '''Six:''' Breaking into Providence? That's a big move, even for you. Black Knight is sure to have enhanced the security systems. We may be able to breach the perimeter defenses, but once inside, we'd be blind targets.
: '''White Knight:''' You'd be right if we were playing on her board.
: '''Six:''' Forgive me for doubting you.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, is someone gonna tell me what these are for? This is so not going to work.
: '''Six:''' Trust the plan.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Okay, so, maybe they worked. But how'd you get them to do it on cue?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' All a matter of timing. Assuming we get past the outer perimeter, securing the data is a completely different story. Providence encrypts all data. We need to disable multiple units before we can download anything off the mainframe. Doing that undetected is ''[sighs]'' insane.
: '''Rex:''' Finally, a voice of reason. I'm calling my brother. Took the lady with three phds to realize what I've been saying all along is right. Hey, that costs money! I'm over my minutes!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' How did you... This is...
: '''Six:''' Doable.
: '''Rex:''' Do what? What is that? A secret passage.
: '''White Knight:''' When they built the tower, I had them install, these-- Upper-management corridors.
: '''Six:''' In the old days, they called passages like these the king's road.
: '''White Knight:''' From here, we face some unknowns. Stick to the plan. Or we could die.
: '''Rex:''' What?! Me?! What about you?! Part of the plan was to do this quietly.
: '''Calan:''' Stop right there, or we'll shoot!
: ''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Here we go. Ok, I know what you're thinking, but this is totally not what it looks like.
: '''White Knight:''' Stand down, Rex.
: ''[Calan laughs]''
: '''Calan:''' Welcome back, sir. We've been waiting for you.
: '''Rex:''' Que, huh?
: '''Calan:''' Sorry for the scare, Rex. We couldn't guarantee the Black Knight wasn't taper our communications. It was best to keep radio silence. In any case-- Say hello to your man on the inside. He've got a bomb! All units, fall back, fall back! Captain Calan, do you copy? Report.
: '''White Knight:''' Ready for a repeate performance?
: '''Calan:''' Ready when you are, sir. Good luck, everyone. They're headed for the... petting zoo.
: '''Holiday:''' Here it is. Just like he said.
: '''White Knight:''' This is the Hive. The central nervous system of the entire complex. An electric field protects the inner chambers. We'll need the circuit bandage.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' I've got an idea, but you'll have to go in partially naked. We've got eyes everywhere.
: '''Six:''' Good. Knight and I will handle the encryption towers. You know what to do with this.
: '''Rex:''' No sweat. I'm on it. Just have to make one quick detour. Bro? You in here? Oh, no. No, no, no!
: '''Caesar:''' Rex, is that you? What brings you here?
: ''[Six groans]''
: '''Six:''' Partially naked. Tower one clear. Proceed to next phase.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Got it. Redirecting the data flow now.
: '''Calan:''' Anyone hear for the monkey?
: '''Rex:''' Huh?!
: '''Bobo:''' Offical pet desk. Keep your distance.
: '''Rex:''' Is that Dr. Rylander?
: '''Caesar:''' It is. Well, almost. After you brought back Van Kleiss, I couldn't help but to wonder if perhaps I might do the same for him. Unfortunately, Van Kleiss was already great in tune the nanites. As you can see, Dr. Rylander-- wasn't.
: '''Rex:''' Ok, whatever. Listen, I'm here on a secret mission.
: '''Caesar:''' Secret? 
: '''Rex:''' White Knight said--
: '''Caesar:''' White Knight is alive?
: '''Rex:''' If you can call him that. Anyway, he says... you might wanna sit down for this part? That Black Knight is restarting the nanite program. Don't you think that's messed up?
: '''Caesar:''' On the contrary. I'm in charge of it.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Commencing download in T-2 minutes. White Knight has infiltrated sector three. You're right. They are monitoring our movements. How did you know?
: '''White Knight:''' It's what I would do. Now start evac protocols.
: '''Black Knight:''' I've torn this facility apart looking for that? When I found it, I still couldn't get to it. Bio-feed security system-- Clever. You have to be nanite-free to open it. I guessed you weren't dead. I knew if I let enough info leak about what we're doing here, you've showed up, eventually. I'll take it.
: '''White Knight:''' You can try.
: '''Black Knight:''' What ever you say. You were the boss.
: '''White Knight:''' That's not a providence toy.
: '''Black Knight:''' A woman is entitled her secrets. Especially when those secrets keep me alive.
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''White Knight:''' Ohh! What I could've done with you if I hired you first.
: '''Black Knight:''' Don't fool yourself, White.
: '''White Knight:''' Ohh, ohh, ohh!
: '''Black Knight:''' You were bandage at best. the Consortium knew that you weren't the leader for the future. Stand down, old man!
: '''White Knight:''' I've got a few secrets of my own, kid. After all, this was my office. Consortium or not, it will be again.
: '''Black Knight:''' Ugh!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Be advised, they're on to us. Making for the rendezvous.
: '''Six:''' I'll take my swords back now. Please.
: '''Rex:''' What are you doing, helping Black Knight? She's obviously the more psycho of the two knights.
: '''Caesar:''' I'm not helping the Black Knight do anything. I'm trying to fix things. The day everything changed. We never imagined what would happen when we released the nanites.
: '''Rex:''' Release them?! You caused the nanite event?!
: '''Caesar:''' It was the only way we were going to save the world.
: '''Rex:''' You unleashed the worst man-made disaster the world has ever seen!! You've ruined countless lives!! How can you say that you saved anything?!
: '''Caesar:''' You weren't there... not in any way that mattered! If we hadn't--
: '''Rex:''' Hold that thought. Here, doggy, doggy.
: '''Six:''' Excessive?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Sweet, actually. Now you're overdoing it.
: '''White Knight:''' ''[panting]'' Are we finished here? ''[screams]'' Careful, Black. Your council wouldn't be too pleased if you destroyed the very thing you're after.
: '''Black Knight:''' If doesn't have to be like this, White! The Consortium may have lost faith in you, but you know my methods are right. Come back. Under my protection, who knows? There may even be a promotion in it for you.
: '''White Knight:''' You would turn on your own masters?
: '''Black Knight:''' For that kind of power, wouldn't you?
: '''White Knight:''' You would turn on your own masters?
: '''Black Knight:''' For that kind of power, wouldn't you?
: '''White Knight:''' I am going to stop the Consortium. If you or Providence gets in my way, this tape goes public.
: '''Black Knight:''' Wait!
: '''Caesar:''' Rex, stop! You're destroying my work!
: '''Rex:''' Your work is done! And so are we! I got it. Time to blow this--
: '''Black Knight:''' Stand down, Rex. Face it, kiddo... today is not your day.
: '''Rex:''' Actually, today's wednesday, and wednesday means fiesta night at the cafeteria. Getting in is going to be cake... very dangerous cake. Any bright ideas on how we're getting out?
: '''Bobo:''' I got one word for you, kid-- Plumbing.
: '''Rex:''' I got it. Time to blow this...
: '''Bobo:''' Taco stand.
: '''White Knight:''' Aah!
: '''Bobo:''' Me and Van Gogh, unappreciated in our time.
: '''Rex:''' All of that-- Was for that?! I got nanites, billions of 'em.
: '''White Knight:''' Not like this one, Rex. This is a Meta Nanite. One of several. Hardwired into its design is a program for the original Dominion Code.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Dominion Code? I thought that was a myth.
: '''White Knight:''' I can assure you, doctor, it is very real. Each one gives its host control over different building blocks of the universe- matter, antimatter, elemental, space, time, reality. With the complete code, you can control them. And through them, you control ''everything''. In sort, it's the God Code.
: '''Rex:''' The Consortium want to be...gods?
: '''White Knight:''' If it wasn't for the original Nanite Event scattering the Metas across the globe, they may have already succeeded. The situation has changed, people. Black Knight has been searching the globe for the other Meta-Nanites. She needs them all to complete the Master Program. As long as we're keeping her secret, she'll hold off. But sooner or later, she'll be coming for this with the full power of Providence and the Consortium at her back. So... if you want to move on, forget what I've told you.
: '''Rex:''' You're not getting rid of us that easily, old man. My parents died for this. Black Knight wants war, war she gets.

===Deadzone===
: '''Holiday:''' &quot;You cannot let him out of your sight, Rex. Don't you see why Black Knight wants him? He's the ultimate insurance against any E.V.O.&quot;
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Not just any. Me.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Black Knight:''' &quot;Since the search for Feakins is going nowhere, we have no choice but to become much more aggressive with Rex.&quot;

===Assault on Abysus===
: '''Diane Farrah:''' Through research and hard work, Providence has turned the curse of the EVO into a blessing. One that will serve mankind. Science and compassion have created a new future for all EVOs. A future filled with happiness and hope.
: '''Black Pawn:''' You? Seen some EVOs pass through here?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
*Rex and Circe finally admit their true feelings for one another. Unfortunately, there was not enough episodes to explore their romance further.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: ''[Somewhere in [[w:Hong Kong|Hong Kong, China]]'']''
: '''Circe:''' Okay. They're gone.
: '''Skywwd:''' For now. Get out of here, Circe. Run!
: '''Circe:''' I'm not leaving you guys.
: '''Skywwd:''' You can pass as human. Go-- Before Providence gets you too.
: '''Black Pawn:''' The girl! She's with them!
: '''Skwwyd:''' Run!
: '''Rex:''' Hmm? What's up?
: '''Circe:''' You're the only person I could turn to.
: '''Rex:''' Circe?
: '''Circe:''' I don't know. That's the hardest part.
: '''Rex:''' You did what you had to do.
: '''Circe:''' I left them there, Rex. Our friends. Providence has to be stopped. Someone needs to do something.
: '''Rex:''' ''[puts his arms around Circe to comfort her]'' We are.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Am I disturbing you two?
: '''Rex:''' No.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' White Knight wants to talk with you.
: '''Rex:''' Ugh. What's he gonna yell at me for this time?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' No, I meant Circe. He wants to talk to her.
: '''Circe:''' Providence has been hunting these down, too?
: '''White Knight:''' You didn't tell her about them, Rex?
: '''Rex:''' I thought the Master Control Nanites were supposed to be top secret.
: '''White Knight:''' She has to know if she's going to lead the mission.
: '''Rex:''' Her? That was supposed to be my mission.
: '''White Knight:''' It's no one's mission. It's about getting the job done.
: '''Circe:''' Why me?
: '''White Knight:''' Intelligence indicates that Providence has targeted a Master Control Nanite in Abysus. In Van Kleiss' old castle, to be more precise. You're the only one with the knowledge to get us in there.
: '''Rex:''' I've been there before. How hard could it be? Circe, you don't have to.
: '''Circe:''' If it helps stop Black Knight in Providence, I'm in.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, Doc. We made it. The new power suit gave me more range, just like you said.
: ''[Circe whistles]''
: '''Circe:''' Thanks, Banak. We're trying to keep a low profile. Don't tell anyone, okay?
: '''Rex:''' Good thing you knew the secret whistle or we might have been rooting around forever.
: ''[Rex chuckles]''
: '''Rex:''' Get it? &quot;Root&quot;? Uh... This can't be easy coming back here. I owe you.
: '''Circe:''' Forget it. We're even. I used you in the past, now you and your friends are using me.
: '''Rex:''' Is there some sort of problem between you and me?
: '''Circe:''' There's nothing between you and me. Just the mission. I don't have good memories of this place. Let's just leave it at that, okay?
: '''Rex:''' Fine. I'm surprised we haven't run into-- Ugh!
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Skalamander:''' Traitor! Stop her!
: '''Circe:''' Aah!
: '''Rex:''' Can you chill?! There's no time for this. Who's leading you now that Van Kleiss is gone? I need to speak to your leader. Figures. Biowolf, we have a problem. And... I need your help.
: '''Biowulf:''' I will listen.
: '''Rex:''' Great, because--
: '''Biowulf:''' Only after you. earn the right-- Through combat.
: ''[Biowulf growls]''
: ''[Rex spits]''
: '''Rex:''' At least Van Kleiss was civilized. Buckle up, dog boy.
: '''Biowulf:''' You may speak. This nanite you want-- It's not here. None of us have seen it up in the castle or the blast source.
: '''Rex:''' I didn't say up. It's down. White Knight thinks it's under the castle. Some other secure lab area.
: '''Biowulf:''' The primary chamber?
: '''Circe:''' It's under the castle? Van Kleiss always said it was forbidden for us to go there.
: '''Rex:''' You think he remembered to tell Black Knight that? Let me take it out of here.
: '''Biowulf:''' No! You're a traitor to your own kind. A lapdog to these humans. I've heard enough!
: '''Rex:''' All of us will fall-- All EVOs-- If she gets it. Black Knight is worse than you know. If I don't get the nanite out of here, Providence will take it.
: '''Biowulf:''' Providence! This is Abysus, the heart of the EVO world. Providence wouldn't dare.
: '''Circe:''' The sentries have spotted something.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. I wonder who.
: '''Providence Soldier:''' Black Knight, the assault forces are in place.
: '''Black Knight:''' The field is yours. We've secured the borders. No chance White Knight and his team will get in the country to interfere.
: '''Biowulf:''' The castle is surrounded.
: '''Rex:''' Standard operating procedure for Providence is to secure the perimeter, then close for attack. Black Knight will have snuck forces around back.
: '''Skalamander:''' How should we counter?
: '''Rex:''' Easy.
: '''Biowulf:''' You take your nanite. I'll decide how to deal with the invaders.
: '''Black Pawn:''' Deploy the collars. Rise. Forward. Attack.
: '''Rex:''' The nanite event blew away half the castle. This must have been deep enough to survive it. Huh? You hear that?
: '''Circe:''' No. Hear what?
: '''Rex:''' Uh... Nothing. This place would make a great rec room. Maybe a karaoke machine over there--
: '''Circe:''' Van Kleiss would send volunteers down here to try and get in. None of them ever came back.
: '''Rex:''' Well... That's encouraging.
: '''Circe:''' What is it?
: '''Rex:''' They're... I-I think they're nanites. They're following our lights. They can't see in the dark. I have a plan. Lead them back.
: '''Circe:''' ''[concerned]'' Rex?
: '''Rex:''' When I say &quot;roll,&quot; roll.
: '''Circe:''' What?!
: '''Rex:''' Roll! Circe, sing!
: ''[Circe uses her ultrasonic blasts on the EVOs and beams at Rex.]''
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Rex:''' We always made a good team.
: '''Circe:''' It won't hold them long.
: '''Rex:''' You think this is why Van Kleiss always wanted me-- So I could get him in here?
: '''Biowulf:''' Providence has breached the castle. We can't hold our position much longer.
: '''Rex:''' Go. I'll get the Master-Control Nanite. ''[Notices how worried Circe is about him probably not returning]'' This isn't Hong Kong. I'll be okay. I'll meet up with you soon.
: '''Biowulf:''' They've turned our own people against us.
: '''Circe:''' Let me see what I can do.
: ''[Circe uses her ultrasonic bursts on several collared EVOs]''.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: ''[Circe gasping]''
: '''Circe:''' So many.
: '''Biowulf:''' You can't stop the ones they've collared.
: '''Circe:''' I can go down trying.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Black Pawn:''' Her sonics are disrupting the offensive.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Black Pawn:''' Hyah! Unh!
: '''Biowulf:''' If we can't defeat them, we'll take down as many as we can fighting.
: '''Circe:''' This isn't one battle. It's a war. And we can't let it end here before Rex has the Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Biowulf:''' What, then?
: '''Circe:''' Tactical retreat.
: ''[Circe whistles]''
: '''Rex:''' Huh. Dad.
: '''Providence Soldier:''' Outer rooms of the castle secured.
: '''Black Pawn:''' I don't need you here, Black Knight. It's only a matter of time. We will take the castle piece by piece.
: ''[Skalamander growling]''
: '''Black Pawn:''' You are ours now. Down.
: ''[Skalamander grunting]''
: '''Skalamander:''' Rex is here. He will make you bow to us!
: '''Black Knight:''' This is all a diversion. Find Rex before he gets the Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Black Pawn:''' Yes, Ma'am.
: '''Black Knight:''' Either you do it or I will. I'm on my way.
: '''Rex:''' This place... Rylander had the same type of lab.
: '''Soldier:''' Security system engaged.
: '''Rex:''' No!
: '''Soldier:''' Intruder. Provide authorized identity or be terminated. Identify. Identify. Identify. Identify.
: '''Rex:''' Aah! I'm Rex! Rex Salazar!
: '''Soldier:''' Salazar genetype-- Accepted.
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex:''' There you are, you little troublemaker. You're coming home with the good guys. Uhh. Weird. Uh... I don't suppose you're looking for the karaoke machine? Running into you-- What a coincidence. Come down here a lot? Whoa! Missed me.
: '''Black Pawn:''' I have the nanite. Keep the boy busy while I get it to Black Knight.
: '''Rex:''' No!
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Rex:''' You two sure know how to make an entrance.
: '''Circe:''' The others are getting hammered by Provindence. They're barely holding them off in the dungeon.
: '''Rex:''' Gee! Van Kleiss has a dungeon. What a surprise.
: '''Biowulf:''' This is no joke. They might die because I came down here to save you.
: '''Rex:''' I won't let them get taken. I promise you that. But I need you to let me call the shots.
: ''[Biowulf sighs]''
: '''Biowulf:''' Very well.
: '''Rex:''' Circ, dungeon left or right?
: '''Circe:''' Left. The dungeon's the other way.
: '''Rex:''' I'm not looking for the dungeon. I'm looking for the scouts. : '''Black Pawn:''' Nothing.
: '''Rex:''' Well, maybe a little something.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Rex:''' Scouts. Classic Providence tactics-- So they don't get ambushed. Uhh. What is this place?
: '''Biowulf:''' The old reservoir. It goes to the river.
: '''Rex:''' Perfect. ''[deep voice]'' Scout to command. West wing, reservoir-- We've found a back way onto what must be the main EVO force. It's five times the size of what you're fighting.
: '''Black Pawn:''' Roger, scout. All forces, withdraw from dungeon siege. Report to west wing, reservoir. Ambush maneuver lambda.
: '''Rex:''' ''[normal voice]'' Get your troops. It's bath time.
: '''Biowulf:''' Now you bow to Rex!
: '''Rex:''' The Providence goons are contained, Biowulf. They shouldn't be any more trouble. And I got the Master-Control Nanite. Looks like mission accomplished.
: '''Circe:''' Rex, I--
: ''[She and Rex cling to each other as the castle begins shaking.]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Rex, order your friends to surrender. You're all under Providence custody. I always knew it might be impossible to capture the Master-Control Nanite in the heart of the nanite infestation. So the solution was to remove it.
: '''Circe:''' It's Hong Kong all over again.
: '''Rex:''' No. We can fight. We'll double back and-- A-and then--
: '''Biowulf:''' Go! Get the nanite out of here!
: '''Rex:''' No! I promised you!
: '''Biowulf:''' You were right. That nanite is more important than anyone here. Including myself. I am the leader. I give the orders. Run!
: ''[Rex panting]''
: '''Rex:''' They were counting on me. I don't want to leave them.
: '''Circe:''' I did what I had to do. You do what you have to. I want you to know, all this was never about me just using you.
: ''[Circe gasps]''
: ''[Finally admits her true romantic feelings for Rex in the form of a passionate kiss. She then pushes a shocked Rex off the ledge, so he could escape; and her getting collared and captured in his stead. She smiled with tears in her eyes, with the promise that she would be okay.]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' ''[burdened by Circe admitting her intense love for him and sacrifice]'' We all make sacrifices for the things we care about-- The people we love. But when the stakes are this high, who can we trust? What would that power do to anyone who had it? They attacked Abysus. What's stopping them from attacking us for these nanites?
: '''White Knight:''' They will-- Sooner or later. That's why I want to turn the tables on them first.
: '''Rex:''' You know how to do that so we survive in one piece?
: '''White Knight:''' Not yet.

===Remote Control===
: '''Cricket:''' If you think we're going to thank you for getting us out of there, Quarry...
: '''Quarry:''' I think you're going to do exactly as I say.
: (''Activates the mind-control collar on her neck'')
: '''Cricket:''' AH!!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Cricket, it's me! Rex! Used to a crush on me!?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Let them go. They'll lead us straight to Quarry.
: '''Cricket:''' &quot;Used to have a crush&quot;?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Cricket:''' You know how collared E.V.O.s follow kind of like a robot. with these collars, it's worse. It's like you're a remote-controlled robot.
: '''Rex:''' That is a nasty hack.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' Your friends are very valuable to me as are you.
: '''Rex:''' Like the new look- strapping.
: '''Quarry:''' Let's just say I had to find a way to &quot;keep it together&quot; after my visit to Abyuss. Just one more thing you owe me for and you know how much I like a balanced book.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' You'll be the crown jewel of my E.V.O. army, Rex. I may just make you my own personal slave.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' That collar suits you, Rex. Wish I had one for you back in the old days. Would've saved me a lot of trouble.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' The arcade- all those kids.
: '''Quarry:''' those brats were born to play games, which is what they think their doing. And I have your people to thank for the tech. That brother of yours is quite the wiz kid.
: '''Rex:''' Caesar would never...
: '''Cricket:''' Forget about Caesar, Rex! You know what you got to do!
: '''Rex:''' These guys will shred you if I leave!
: '''Tuck:''' We got this, Rex! Go!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' Consider the fact that you made me like this while I'm crushing you.

===A Brief History of Time===
: '''Van Kleiss:''' 4.000 years from my destination, and I've run out of of time. I've scarcely completed the vessel which shall deliver me to my own era. Gharun-Set, activate the traps-- Quickly! My greatest creation-- So useful to me, but too dangerous to roam free. If only I had time to destroy him, as I should. But I have a more pressing death I must prevent. My own. AAAAAAAAAAAH!
: '''Rex:''' Kind of defeating the whole stealth element of a stealth suit, Bobo.
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, now was I supposed to know that ghanoush went bad?
: '''Rex:''' Maybe because you found it in a garbage can.
: '''Bobo:''' On top of a garbage can.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Holiday to Rex. Are you at the site?
: '''Rex:''' There is not site, remember? Black Knight blew the pace to kingdom come.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Yet it's still guarded. And thanks to the data you stole from Providence, we know why.
: '''Rex:''' Van Kleiss back in time? I still find it hard to believe.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You were sent six months into the future, Rex. It stands to reason that the reverse is possible.
: '''Rex:''' Well, if you expect to find him here, maybe we should check the mummy museum. We're sensing nanites-- Definitely V.K.'s. They've been dead a long time.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Over 4,000 years. I'm also detecting tachyons-- Quantum particles that travel in time. I think it's clear what he was making.
: '''Bobo:''' A latrine?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' A time machine.
: '''Rex:''' No way he pulled it off! If mister ego made it back to here and now, we'd know about it.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Some of these nanites are considerably younger. That means he was there in two different time periods.
: '''Rex:''' Time travel gives me a headache. Just tell me-- Where is he now?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' The more accurate question is, when is he?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' AAAAAAH!
: ''[Van Kleiss gasping]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh! The ordeal is... draining. But now, back in my own time, I can replenish my nanite reserves and--
: '''Gladiator #1:''' Quis es tu?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I recognize the language, of course-- Classical latin. Qui-- Q-Qui annus est?
: '''Gladiator #1:''' What year is it? You dare question a captain of the imperial guard? Aegyptus is a roman Providence! Answer! Who are you?
: '''Gladiator #2:''' Don't bother-- He's clearly sun-mad.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' The dialect, the dress-- This is the second century A.D. A mere 2,000 years has passed. I'm only halfway home!
: '''Gladiator #1:''' Another escaped slave. Finish him and be done with it.
: ''[Gladiator #2 grunts]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It was all the fight I could muster. I had no way to replace the nanites I'd spent in the journey, and my gauntlet had yet to recharge those that remained.
: '''Gladiator #2:''' This one shows spirit. He'll bring a good price in the arena.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' OOMPH!
: ''[Van Kleiss groans]''
: '''Gladiator #2:''' Save your strength.
: '''Gladiator #3:''' Where you're going, you'll need it.
: ''[Van Kleiss slurps]''
: ''[Van Kleiss gulps]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I intend to. Of the mysterious force, there is no sign. Yet I sense it is close-- Pursuing me even across the centuries. I am convinced it is a manifestation of time itself. My presence is a violation of physics-- An imbalance which the time stream seeks to correct... By wiping me from existence. But of this, I am certain-- If I do not return to my own time, it will surely destroy me.
: '''Gladiator #1:''' You are fortunate, slave. To die in the arena is a great honor.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' An honor I look forward to bestowing.
: ''[Gladiator #1 laughs]''
: '''Gladiator #1:''' You see? Spirit!
: ''[Van Kleiss groans]''
: '''Gladiator #3:''' Put on a good show, little man, and I promise to make your end a painless one.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Indeed?
: ''[Gladiator #3 grunts]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I, on the other hand, make no such promise.
: ''[Gladiator #3 grunting]''
: ''[Van Kleiss grunting]''
: '''Gladiator #3:''' AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
: ''[Gladiator #3 groans]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' One against so many? Hardly seems fair. For them.
: '''Gladiator #4:''' ARRRGHHHH!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ordinarily, I'd say &quot;take me to your leader,&quot; but I believe he's already here.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Great warrior... Never have I seen such a battle. I am...
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Septimius Severus, 21st emperor of Rome, founder of the severan dynasty. And, as I recall, you poisoned your own commanding officer to get his position... And wear only boots to conceal a prodigious clubfoot.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Are you a man... Or a God?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I find both labels rather limiting. Now, then, you are going to give me whatever I require, starting with a quiet place to work. I, in return, shall ensure the growth and security of your reign as emperor. You may call me Van Kleiss.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Whatever your desire, great Vanklios.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Actually, it's... Got a rather nice ring.
: '''Rex:''' What's with this guy? Gets a portrait done in every time period?
: '''Bobo:''' Mm. ''[muffled]'' Truly a nutjob for the ages. Mm. Speaking of nuts... Want some?
: '''Rex:''' You've been dumpster-diving again?
: '''Bobo:''' I prefer &quot;foraging.&quot;
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. Nice sleuthing there, doc.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Nanites decay at a measurable half-life. I set our sat-net to do a global scan for the same frequency-- Ergo, Rome.
: '''Rex:''' Great. You scan for the next stop, we'll grab a pizza.
: '''Bobo:''' Pass. I'm experiencing inexpicable gastric distress.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, it would take months to scan the entire spectrum. You need to find the next decay frequency.
: '''Rex:''' Kind of like nanite connect-the-dots! Can I do it with someone else?
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, quiet, you! Rah!
: '''Rex:''' This goose chase just got a little wilder. My brother's here.
: '''Caesar:''' Caesar to Black. We've detected paleo-nanites. Tachyon readings negative. We're moving to the next hot stop.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Tachyons-- They want Van Kleiss' time machine. Follow them.
: '''Rex:''' Come on.
: '''Bobo:''' Can you give me a teeny sec? I gotta find the little gladiators' room.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Advances in the last two millenia have allowed me to complete my lab in weeks instead of months. Restrict the flow! Do you want to overload the power cells? Meanwhile, my own nanite supply continues to dwindle.
: ''[Septimius Severus panting]''
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Great Vanklios, protect me!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I've divulged metallurgy and tactics beyond your day. No man may threaten your rule. : '''Septimius Severus:''' This is no man... But an apparition!
: ''[Septimius Severus grunts]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' What apparition? Speak, parasite!
: '''Septimius Severus:''' A spirit of doom! Numerous sightings-- The insulare, the rostra, the forum. Listen! It comes! It comes!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Fool. It only wants me.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Ugh!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I release you. Go start a few legends.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
: ''[Septimius Severus gasps]''
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Be gone! I beg of you! Aah!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, those stress lines-- It's the same pattern we saw in Egypt.
: '''Black Knight:''' Report.
: '''Caesar:''' These aqueducts are truly marvels of roman engineering.
: '''Black Knight:''' Have you picked up the next decay frequency?
: '''Caesar:''' Oh-- That. Yes. Uplinking to our global net. Odd. These tachyons seems unrelated to--
: '''Black Knight:''' We have the next target. Scandinavia. Move out. White Knight may have people on the trail. I expect you to do whatever it takes to procure the objective.
: '''Rex:''' Shh!
: '''Caesar:''' I've initiated the same steps as in Egypt! Come along.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, we need that decay frequency.
: '''Rex:''' Just one small problem, doc. This place... is toast.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex? Bobo? Respond!
: '''Rex:''' We're okay, doc. Not a mark on us.
: '''Bobo:''' Same can't be said for my stealth suit. Whoa!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: ''[Rex and Bobo gasps]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' So many lives... It's become a blur. I don't know who I am anymore. Only that I must sail onward, ever onwoard down the river of time. Never resting, always moving. Further draining my nanite reserves beyond my ability to replenish. And each re-emergence, I am pursued by the nameless force. I now know it's personal. I am a virus-- An infection of space-time. Call it what you like. This is time's antibody. Whether I can borne home or drowned in its currents, this is my final journey.
: '''Rex:''' Hurry! I'm not sure if we here followed.
: '''Bobo:''' I'm sure.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Don't shoot! It's me.
: '''Rex:''' Holiday? Shouldn't you be at the plant, connecting the dots?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' No more dots to connect. The trail ends here. And... I'm reading a humanoid form inside.
: '''Rex:''' I'm confused. Is it a time machine or isn't it?
: '''Caesar:''' It's not a time machine. Are those really necessary?
: '''Rex:''' No way you're getting this time machine, bro!
: '''Caesar:''' I don't want it. And it's not a time machine.
: '''Bobo:''' Well, then, what is it? A meat locker for cold cuts?
: '''Caesar:''' Surprisingly close. We use this technique to transfer unstable nanites. It puts them into a state of dormancy.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Of course. It's a hibernation chamber.
: '''Caesar:''' Only his nanites were dormant. There would still be neuron flow.
: '''Rex:''' Mind telling me what that means, exactly?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' He was... Aware. The whole time, for hundreds of years.
: '''Caesar:''' He would have felt every minute pass.
: '''Rex:''' No way! He's totally a mummy!
: '''Rex and Bobo:''' Wah!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Run! It's coming! It's coming?!
: '''Rex and Bobo:''' Wah!
: '''Rex:''' Easy, easy, Van Kleiss. You're back-- Back in your own time.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' No! No, it'll find me! It always does! You must protect me.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Tachyon readings off the chart! Rex, you can't affect that thing. I don't know what can.
: '''Caesar:''' It's a field of pure tachyons. I've got to get a sample.
: '''Rex:''' Oh, no, you don't!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I'm back! Back in my own time! You shall not have me?! OHHHH!
: '''Bobo:''' Settle down, Van Winkle.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex shudders]''
: '''Rex:''' Oh, no. It couldn't be. I need some way to contain it!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Tachyons can't be contained!
: '''Caesar:''' Yes, they can. Rex!
: ''[Caesar grunts]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, it's too risky!
: '''Rex:''' But I know what this is. Correction-- I know who this is.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex:''' Aah!
: ''[Rex groaning]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' It's... Breach.
: '''Rex:''' Breach. Breach! It's me-- Rex.
: '''Breach:''' Rex? Are you real... Or a dream?
: ''[Rex laughs]''
: '''Rex:''' Yeah, yeah, I'm-- I'm real.
: '''Breach:''' I was everywhere-- Everywhen. But I was nothing-- An emptiness, needing to be filled.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' The amp pack. Van Kleiss controlled it. When his nanites were active, Breach was drawn into his timeframe.
: ''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
: '''Caesar:''' The final joining would have destroyed them both.
: '''Breach:''' Guess I should say thanks.
: '''Rex:''' Hey, what are friends for? Um, we are still friends... Right?
: '''Caesar:''' You did well, little bro.
: '''Rex:''' And you have your time machine that... isn't a time machine. Everybody goes home happy.
: '''Caesar:''' That? A curiosity-- True. But it was never our goal.
: ''[Van Kleiss shivering]''
: ''[Van Kleiss chuckles]''
: '''Rex:''' Van Kleiss?! All this for him? what, they're gonna put him in jail?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' It's Providence, Rex. That's their jurisdiction.
: '''Caesar:''' No need to worry, little brother. He's going to be well supervised.
: '''Rex:''' Caesar, what is going on!?
: '''Caesar:''' Justice.
: '''Bobo:''' Two words-- Crème Brûlée. Ooh. Right after I make a french connection.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Welcome back, Van Kleiss. You look terrible. Ordinarily, I'd say get some rest, but you've had enough of that, I suppose.
: ''[Van Kleiss chuckles]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Pull it together. We have work to do. Do you know who I am?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Yes. I know who you are. It's been a long time. A very, very long time.

===Mind Games===
: '''Rex''': Yeah, I wouldn't be so sure of that.
: '''Six''': I told you not to get involved, Rex. You're not at full strength.
: '''Rex''': What was I supposed to do-- Just leave it?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Six has a point, Rex. You're pushed to the edge lately. You can't see everyone.
: '''Rex''': Not listening! Don't worry, dude. I'll have you out of here before you can say-- Circe?!
: '''Circe''': Hey, Rex. Rex! Aaaah!
: ''[Circe sighs]''
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Rex! Rex, do you read? What's going on? Your bios are low.
: '''Rex''': Leave her alone! You okay? 
: '''Circe''': I think so. We have to go.
: '''Rex''': Think that's your cue. Hang on. I think I got it. Ow!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex''': Hate this things.
: '''Circe''': Try wearing one.
: '''Rex''': I have. So, what happened? I thought Providence had you at Abysus.
: '''Circe''': I got away.
: '''Rex''': What about the Pack?
: '''Circe''': The Pack? I-- Don't know. Things are bad out there, Rex. I've been on the run for weeks. Providence has been stepping up their capture orders. I think something big is going down.
: '''Rex''': Tell me about it. Listen, I know we're gonna want to say no, but with everything that's going on...
: '''Circe''': I should stay at the plant. It's safer, right?
: '''Rex''': Wow, that was-- Easy. I had a whole speech and everything.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Well, everything checks out. You're the picture of health. I wish you'd let me do some more thorough scans, through.
: '''Six''': How was it you said you got away?
: '''Circe''': It's a long story. You guys have bigger things to worry about than me... like the Meta-Nanites. Did you get the one from Abysus? Have you found anymore?
: '''Rex''': Ugh, who cares? Let's go do something fun. You want to put Bobo' hand in shaving cream?
: ''[Circe yawns]''
: '''Circe''': Actually, Rex, I'm kind of tired. I thing I might just crash if that's cool.
: '''Rex''': Oh... yeah. Stupid of me. You, uh, get some sleep. Hey, doc. What are you doing?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Rex. I was just... working. What are you doing up?
: '''Rex''': Ah, it's... stupid.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Yeah, probably. But... go ahead.
: '''Rex''': I'm... excited. Since I got breached, everything's been so crazy.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Since you got breached? Right.
: '''Rex''': But with Circe back, I'm starting to think maybe things will turn out okay.
: '''White Knight''': I need everyone in the situation room in five minutes.
: '''Rex''': So much for that.
: ''[Dr. Holiday yawns]''
: '''Dr. Holiday''': What'd I miss?
: '''Rex''': Wow, Doc. You sure got comfy quick.
: '''White Knight''': Listen up, people. We need to retrieve a valuable asset before it falls into enemy hands.
: '''Six''': What's the objective?
: '''White Knight''': This man... Dr. Peter Meechum.
: '''Rex''': That guy? I remember him. Van crazy kiddnaped his daughter.
: '''White Knight''': Meechum spent the last year at a safehouse facility... Codename: Pandora's Box... location know only to me.
: '''Rex''': Why all the cloak and dagger?
: '''White Knight''': Because Meechum was one of the original scientists on the Nanite Project. He was given a panic button in case of emergency. Thirty minutes ago-- He activated it.
: '''Six''': Providence?
: '''White Knight''': We have to assume they're trying to assemble the original members of the Nanite Project. What Meechum knows is too valuable to fall into the wrong hands, so go get him.
: '''Six''': Maybe Circe should stay here.
: '''Rex''': What? Why?
: '''Six''': She's not on the team yet-- Not officialy.
: '''White Knight''': Take her. She'll be useful in the field.
: '''Rex''': Ahem. You guys forget you key? Did you check under the mat?
: '''Six''': Rex, focus on the mission. Get to Meechum!
: '''Rex''': Relax, Six. I could take these guys in my sleep, especially with help from... Huh? Circe? Uh... Time-out?
: '''Six''': Peter Meechum, you need to come with us.
: ''[Dr. Meechum scoffs]''
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Took you long enough.
: '''Rex''': Time in.
: '''White Knight''': Still no sign of Circe, Rex. We'll keep looking, but for right now, Meechum is our top priority.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': We'll find her, Rex. Don't worry.
: '''White Knight''': In the meantime, Dr. Meechum, I've checked, and your daughter is safe at her boarding school in England.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': My daughter. Right.
: '''White Knight''': We can make immediate arrangements to take you to her.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': No, I'd rather stay with you if that's all right. It's, uh-- It's safer.
: '''White Knight''': Of course. White Knight out.
: '''Rex''': So, after that, Providence attacked Abysus to get the Master-Control Nanite. Guess you were next on their list.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': I see. And all this happened in the last year?
: '''Six''': You've missed a lot since you've been away, doctor.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Horrible. I could never work for a Providence like that. I have to say it's all very impressive. Providence has certainly done a lot in the last year.
: '''Caesar''': And with your help, doctor, we can do more.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Where's White Knight? I should tell him I've arrived.
: '''Black Knight''': I can answer that for you. It's good to have you back, doctor.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': What happened to White?
: '''Black Knight''': Just a routine change in command. Nothing to worry about. If you'll excuse me, gentlemen.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Tell me you have my money ready.
: '''Black Knight''': You get away you want when I get what I want... Not before.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Relax.
: '''Six''': I'm a professional, aren't I?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Six, see Meechum? I have some data I'd like to go over with him. Are you... okay?
: '''Six''': Rebecca, I have something important to tell you.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Okay. Well... Thanks for tell me.
: '''Six''': Rex, are you in here? I do not understand this show.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Am I interrupting?
: '''Six''': Not at all. What can I do for you?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Nothing important. I just wanted to say... earlier... that was nice. Unexpected but nice. 
: '''Six''': Earlier?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': In the lab?
: '''Six''': I have no idea what you're talking about.
: ''[Dr. Holiday scoffs]''
: '''Rex''': Six, I need to talk to you about Circe. Uh... Six? Earth to agent guy. You okay?
: '''Six''': I'm fine. I've just decided not to waste any more time on you, Rex.
: '''Rex''': Um... Is this because I accidentaly used your swords to slice a pizza?
: '''Six''': It's because you're weak. You don't have what it takes to complete the mission.
: '''Rex''': Ohh, I get it. This is one of your test, right?
: '''Six''': No test. Just me coming to my senses. You're not strong enough to survive what's coming. In the end, you're gonna let us all down.
: ''[Dr. Holiday crying]''
: '''Rex''': Doc? What's wrong?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': ''[Sobbing]'' I-It's nothing, Rex. I didn't want you to see me like this.
: '''Rex''': Well, what is it?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': ''[Sobbing]'' It's Six. I'm afraid of him.
: '''Rex''': What?! That's crazy talk.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': ''[Sobbing]'' Is it? You have to have seen it. He's violent, on edge. He's losing control.
: '''Rex''': Are we talking about the same Six?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': We don't even known him. He was a killer, Rex. The old Six might have changed, but how do we know this Six didn't come back... Wrong?
: ''[Dr. Meechum whistling]''
: '''Dr. Meechum''': I have a question. How do you plan to re-create the project without a bio-interface expert?
: '''Caesar''': Oh, but we do have one.
: '''Van Kleiss''': No! The string doesn't work. Gordian knot, tied up tight. Alexander cheated. Can't cheat. Eyes on your own paper! Peter? No! Can't be! Different time, different me.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Van Kleiss? You brought back that monster?
: '''Caesar''': Of course. He was the original interface programmer. Who better?
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Excuse me a moment. White, what the heck is going on?!
: '''White Knight''': Peter? Where are you?
: '''Dr. Meechum''': I'm at Providence. Where are you?
: '''White Knight''': Providence. But that's not-- I have to go. We have a problem.
: '''Rex''': You're darn right we have a problem, because this isn't Peter Meechum!
: ''[Dr. Meechum laughing maniacally]''
: '''Scarecrow''': Heya, Rex. Miss me?
: '''Rex''': Who are you? Where's Meechum?
: '''White Knight''': His name's John Scarecrow. He's an EVO, specialist in infiltration. Black Knight played us.
: '''Scarecrow''': You really don't remember me, Rex? I'll give you a hint. We used to share a stomping ground. We had a problem with a shapes hifter once.
: '''Rex''': You were in Hong Kong.
: '''Scarecrow''': Give the man a prize.
: ''[Scarecrow laughs]''
: '''Six''': I think he went that way.
: '''Rex''': Wait a minute.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: ''[Scarecrow laughs]''
: '''Rex''': I cannot believe I fell for that.
: '''Scarecrow''': Look at you. You're ridiculous. You think he'll come to his senses, realize his true feelings? Then what? You'll settle down. White picket fence. Little agent kids. You're fooling yourself. You're the worst of them... you know that?... Because you know better. You really think you can save the world? None of you can survive what's coming!
: '''Rex''': Prove it's really you. What's my favorite color?
: '''Six''': I have no idea.
: '''Rex''': It's you, all right.
: ''[Dr. Holiday screaming]''
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Put it away. I'm not the EVO.
: '''Six''': We heard you scream.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': That wasn't me.
: '''Six''': Let's all calm down. We can figure this out.
: '''Rex''': Why, Six? Because I'm weak? You don't think I can handle this?
: '''Six''': I never said that.
: '''Rex''': But you think it, right? I don't see you putting down your guns, doc.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': I know it's not me. I'm not sure about you two.
: ''[Scarecrow laughs]''
: '''Scarecrow''': So easy. I barely had to nudge you.
: '''Rex''': Whatever you're after, you're not getting away with it.
: '''Scarecrow''': Get away with it?! Re-e-e-x, I got what I needed in the first five minutes.
: '''Rex''': Then why? Why do all this?
: '''Scarecrow''': Simple. I wanted to do to you what you did to me.
: '''Rex''': I'm done with you!
: ''[Scarecrow groans]''
: '''Scarecrow''': The big hero. Why do you get to forget? It's not fair!
: '''Rex''': Whine, whine, whine. What... you didn't get enough crazy hugs as a kid?
: '''Scarecrow''': You think I'm the only one you hurt? Then tell me--
: '''Skwydd''': What about us? Why'd you betray me? 
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Circe:''' You promised to protect me, Rex. Where were you?
: '''Rex:''' Stop it!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: ''[Rex breathing heavily]''
: '''Caesar''': Face it, bro. It's why I left you. Mom and dad, too.
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex''': You're your own worst enemy.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': That's for Rex. That's for Providence. And that was for the kiss.
: '''White Knight''': Providence won this round. No question.
: '''Rex''': They have the real Meechum. Maybe more.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': There's no telling how much of our system Scarecrow uploaded.
: '''Six''': But we have to assume they know everything we do.
: ''[Scarecrow laughs evilly]''
: '''White Knight''': Black Knight is coming for us. It's just a matter of time.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': So? I mean, we knew that. Nothing's changed, right?
: '''Six''': Rex, this is what they wanted-- To turn us against each other.
: '''Rex''': Yeah, and look how easy it was. We thought we were a team, but we're not. We're vulnerable.
: '''Van Kleiss''': It's Heisenberg's uncertainty principle. Looking past Occam's Razor, we can clearly see to a quantum level. A quantum level is what I'm trying to achieve, because if I didn't do the quantum level, then I can understand what's happening.
: '''Caesar''': I know you don't like this, but it's not about us.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Can you do it? Can you control him?
: '''Caesar''': Leave Van Kleiss to me.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': What about Black Knight? I don't like her, Salazar. Never did.
: '''Caesar''': Trust me, Peter-- When we're finished, the end will justify the means.

===Hermanos===
:'''Rex Salazar''': WH-O-O-O-OA! Unh! Ugh!
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Agent Six''': Be careful, Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm touched by your concern, Six.
:'''Agent Six''': It's not for you. We don't have Providence to pick up the tab anymore. You break it, you buy it.
:''[Rex growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm saving the day here. What are they gonna do--Sue me? Oh, come on! It was a rhetorical question! What was I supposed to do? The whole building was made of glass!
:'''Lawyer''': ''[Hispanic accent]'' Glass? What are you talking about?
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm... not talking about anything. What are you talking about?
:'''Lawyer''': Mr. Salazar, I'm an associate at the stateside branch of the Argentinean firm Gomez and Gomez. And today, sir, is your lucky day!
:'''Rex Salazar''': What's this?
:'''Lawyer''': It's yours!
:'''Noah Nixon''': No away! This is your house?
:'''Rex Salazar''': I know! According to the lawyer guy, this rancho in Argentina's been in my family forever. And ever since my parents died in the event, those lawyers have been trying to track down the heir. And guess who that is.
:'''Noah Nixon''': You and your brother?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, yeah, right. Him too.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Not a good time, Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Dude, it's never a good time, but you go to-- O...kay, so maybe this really isn't a good time, but this is important. I was being chased by a lawyer. No, I wasn't being sued this time. But you'll never guess what he--
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Is this about the rancho?
:'''Rex Salazar''': You know about it?
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Those lawyers have left me a dozen messages.
:'''Rex Salazar''': And you didn't tell me? Caesar, I never even knew we had this place! There might be photo albums, home movies-- I don't know-- maybe even an old teddy bear or something.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': You never had a teddy bear.
:'''Rex Salazar''': See, the fact that you know that and I don't-- that's why we need to go down there.
:'''Lawyer''': Clear!
:'''Caesar Salazar''': I can't, Rex. My work's already been interrupted once today. Although... Now that you mention the ranch, it does bring back some memories.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Really? Like what?
:'''Caesar Salazar''': There was an experiment I remember mom and dad running. If you could find the notes, it might save some time on the work I'm doing now.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Notes? Come on. Isn't family more important than-- Guess not.
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Why can't I have a normal brother? Know anything about cows? Thanks for coming with me. This is really a family thing, but my brother is, well-- My brother. 
:'''Noah Nixon''': Are you kidding? I'm psyched! I've been killing myself trying to find a birthday present for Claire. A vacation at my best friend's awesome ancestral estate? What other guy could offer her that?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, but then why bring Annie?
:'''Annie''': Um, this just kind of broke off.
:''[Annie, Claire and Noah screaming]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': AAAAAAH!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': I sure hope this isn't included in Six's &quot;You break it, you buy it&quot; policy.
:'''Annie''': Sorry.
:'''Rex Salazar''': No problem. We're here.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Are... you sure this is the place?
:'''Noah Nixon''': What happened to it?
:'''Annie''': Hey, don't look at me. I just got there.
:''[Annie gasps]''
:'''Annie''': Okay, that was me.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I guess this must be my... family.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Looks like you-- But with a 'stache.
:'''Annie''': I like you with a 'stache.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Hey, there are chickens in here!
:'''Annie''': And llamas!
:'''Noah Nixon''': Chicken, llamas-- And a funny-looking bull.
:''[Chiquito snorts]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': I-I-I take it back! You're not funny-looking!
:'''Chiquito''': This place is Durango's!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, actually--
:'''Chuquito''': No fancy talk! Just go!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Ugh! Okay, number one, how is &quot;actually&quot; fancy talk! Number two, I don't know who Durango is, but this farm isn't his. And number three--
:''[Chiquito grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Ugh! Ugh! All right, there's no misunderstanding the international language of getting punched in the face. So read my fist-- Get out of my house!
:'''Chiquito''': Durango will not be happy!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, don't know who that guy was, but problem solved.
:'''Noah Nixon''': Uh, you think? Aah!
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Senior Durango''': Calmate, Chiquito. You are my brother. I would not do anything to hurt mi hermano. Unless you force me to. I cannot lose that tract of land. Without its right of way, I will lose my claim on the rest of the county. But never mind. They will learn-- When you mess with the bull, you get the horns.
:'''Rex Salazar''': OHHH! Ugh!
:'''Noah Nixon''': A chicken just tried to poop on my shoe!
:'''Rex Salazar''': I think I can top you there.
:'''Noah Nixon''': No offense, but when I asked Claire to come here, this wasn't what I was hoping for.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, me either. I mean, I was thinking I'd find-- I don't know what. But everything in this place has been smashed or stolen. Maybe this whole family thing isn't for me.
:''[Noah gasps]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': That's the one!
:'''Claire Bowman''': Please, Noah. It just needed a little help laying an egg.
:'''Rex Salazar''': ''[Chuckling]'' What, did you grow up on a farm in Kansas?
:'''Claire Bowman''': An apartment in Chicago-- Which is where I learned to download videos onto my phone.
:'''Telephone Voice''': When caring for an egg bearing hen, remember to--
:'''Muchado''': Hola? Quien esta aquí?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Uh... hello?
:'''Muchado''': So, you are the Americans? I am Señor Muchado-- The juez.
:'''Claire Bowman''': That's like a judge?
:'''Muchado''': Sí. For all intents and purposes, I am the law in this county-- Which is why I have come here with him.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Good, because I definitely want to press charges.
:'''Muchado''': You misunderstand. I am here because of the trouble you caused for Chiquito.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Chiquito?
:''[Rex chuckles]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Your mom must have some sense of humor to name you &quot;Tiny&quot;.
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:'''Muchado''': Chiquito's brother is Señor Durango. He controls most of the land in this county, including this hacienda. At Señor Durango's request, I have prepared a legal order compelling you to vacate.
:'''Claire Bowman''': But this is Rex's farm.
:'''Annie''': Yeah, he's got a deed and everything.
:'''Muchado''': This might have some bearing-- If you were a Salazar.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, we're in luck. I am.
:'''Annie''': Maybe this will help.
:'''Muchado''': You may be a Salazar, but by our law, this land has been deemed abandoned, and Señor Durango has claimed it.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Sorry. Been sort of busy saving the world and stuff. But I'm here now, so consider his claim unclaimed, then reclaimed by me.
:'''Muchado''': It is not so simple. You would have to demonstrate you are actively maintaining the ranch. That means shearing and feeding the animals, bringing your bulls to market--
:'''Rex Salazar''': To market? What, like a... cattle drive?
:'''Claire Bowman''': No problem. We can totally figure out how to do that.
:'''Muchado''': A ranch this size requires at least a dozen hired men.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, just... uh...
:'''Muchado''': No one within 100 kilometers will help you cross Señor Durango. If you do this, you will do it alone. And you will fail.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Well, that guy was kind of a jerk.
:'''Annie''': Yeah. So, let's get to work.
:'''Noah Nixon''': How? Everything here is broken.
:'''Annie''': Uh, have you seen my house?
:'''Rex Salazar''': You guys don't have to do this.
:'''Claire Bowman''': What kind of friend would walk away now?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Uh... yeah! No way you could stop me from helping take care of these totally not-gross animals. 
:'''Rex Salazar''': Really?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Well, I'm smiling like that's what I mean, aren't?
:''[Noah exhales deeply]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': I can do this! I can't do this. Until I've done my milking warm-up.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Ugh. Hold this.
:'''Telephone Voice''': With you head resting on her flank, gently grasp the udder with the palm of your hand.
:'''Noah Nixon''': AAH!
:''[Claire giggles]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': I think she likes you.
:'''Noah Nixon''': Ugh!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': This is your home. Get in your home!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Whoa! AAAH! AAH! Ugh! This is hopeless! This farm only has one bull, and I can't even get it into the barn. And this... better just be mud.
:'''Annie''': Hang on! I'll help you!
:''[Annie gasps]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': No! Don't!
:'''Noah Nixon''': Are you guys okay?
:'''Claire Bowman''': What is it? A storm cellar?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Looks like some kind of lab.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Figures. My mom and dad were Caesar's parents, too. Of course they'd find a way to take work home with them. Probably where those notes Caesar wanted are. Might as well grab them before the judge kicks us out.
:'''Claire Bowman''': What's he talking about? I think we're doing a pretty good job taking care of the--
:'''Annie''': Uh, guys--
:''[Claire grunts]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': Wait-- Donkeys eat hay, don't they? Maybe we can use it to lure them back into the barn.
:'''Annie''': I got it! Ugh!
:''[Annie gasps]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': Well, on the plus side, at least we now know for sure that donkeys do eat hay.
:'''Rafael Salazar''': One day, these things are going to change the world, and you'll be there to see it.
:'''Violetta Salazar''': ''[chuckling]'' Caesar, please, mi hijo. Stop working for a minute and hold the camera.
:'''Young Caesar Salazar''': Okay! Okay!
:''[Claire sniffs]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': What's that smell?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Which one? Everything here smells.
:'''Claire Bowman''': No, it smells like... smoke!
:'''Annie''': Rex! The straw caught on fire, and it exploded!
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:'''Chiquito''': Hermano! No! Oomph!
:'''Senior Durango''': What were you thinking? I told you to smoke them out, not burn the land! This is my land! If you weren't my brother--
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:'''Senior Durango''': But you are. Come here.
:'''Rex Salazar''': So, you must be the brother. Hope I'm not interrupting some kind of weird tender moment.
:'''Senior Durango''': Soy Durango. And I hope there is still a chance we can reach a resonable agreement.
:'''Claire Bowman''': So, then you'll let Rex keep the farm? We played by the rules.
:'''Senior Durango''': Around here, I make the rules.
:'''Annie''': But the judge said--
:'''Senior Durango''': The judge works for me. Now, please, I'm giving you one last chance to leave.
:'''Noah Nixon''': Okay, sure! Oh, wait-- That's right. Your fire blew up what was left of our plane!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Uh, let me handle the trash-talking with the 20-foot-tall monster EVO, okay? Leave them out of this! They shouldn't even be here! It should have been my brother!
:'''Senior Durango''':  That is why you will lose your farm. Without family, a man is nothing. After all, what is this land to them?
:'''Rex Salazar''': I don't even know what this place is to me. I came here hoping to find out more about who my family is.
:''[Rex start looking at Noah, Claire and Annie, and smile to them]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': And I did. So, you're going to stop threatening them-- And me-- And get off my land.
:''[Durango snarls]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay. Here's the plan-- Stay behind me! Whoa! Ugh!
:'''Noah Nixon''': Well, there goes that plan.
:'''Senior Durango''': Hurt them. You can do that, can't you?
:'''Claire Bowman''': W-what do we do now?!
:'''Annie''': The only one of us with powers just got kicked to the curb.
:'''Noah Nixon''': That depends on what you mean by &quot;powers&quot;.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex muffled grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Not a good time, Caesar.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': I just wanted to tell you-- Forget about those notes. I realized that's not what's important about you going down there.
:''[Durango snarls]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Wow, Caesar. I can't believe you came around.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': I just realized-- The really important thing is, if you happen to find a termo-chronometer I remember having down there, it would save me from ordering one.
:''[Chiquito snarls]''
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:''[Chiquito snarls, roars]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': Ugh!
:''[Chiquito snorts]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:[''On videotape of the Salazar family]''
:'''Rafael Salazar''': One day these things are going to change the world and you'll be there to see it.
:'''Violetta Salazar''': Cesar, please miquito. Stop working for a minute and hold the camera.
:'''Young Caesar Salazar''': Okay, okay.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Noah Nixon''': This morning, I almost had to touch a cow's underparts. You think you can do me worse than that? Bring it.
:''[Chiquito snarls]''
:''[Chiquito roars]''
:'''Annie''': Ugh! I didn't mean for that to happen.
:'''Claire Bowman''': We did.
:'''Rex Salazar''': AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Ugh! AAAAAAAAAAARGH!
:'''Senior Durango''': OOMPH!
:''[Durango lows]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': WH-O-O-O-O-O-O O-OA!
:''[Durango lows]''
:''[Durango snorts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': AAAAAAAAH!
:''[Durango growls]''
:''[Durango growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Trust me-- My brother's let me down way worse. But what am I gonna do? He's my brother.
:'''Senior Durango''': It is over.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Nice ego there, but I've been hit a lot harder.
:''[Durango spits]''
:'''Senior Durango''': Those bells signal the market is ending soon. I can see you have yet to herd you cattle there.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, come on! The one cattle I've got doesn't even move!
:'''Senior Durango''': If you do not have your cattle to market before it ends, you will have failed to fulfill your deed, and this land will be mine.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Then I guess I don't have any time to waste talking about it.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Come on. Come here.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Forget it. I got this.
:'''Claire Bowman''': WHOO-HOO! Yes! Go, Rex!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': Where's Durango?
:'''Rex Salazar''': OWW! Come on! You don't move the whole time, and you can't stay still?
:''[Durango grunting]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': What is this, a western? You're actually trying to stop him with a rockslide?
:'''Senior Durango''': You? Here? How is that even possible?
:'''Telephone Voice''': Donkeys can be ridden surprinsingly fast if you--
:'''Noah Nixon''': Come on! Just give up! The farm belong to Rex. And I really want to get off this thing.
:'''Senior Durango''': You think I'm afraid of you ''[scoffs]'' boy?
:'''Claire Bowman''': Oh, it's not the boy you should be afraid of.
:'''Annie''': Oops.
:''[Durango grunting]''
:'''Senior Durango''': Ugh!
:''[Rex panting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': We sheared the llamas, we milked the cows, I got the bull to town. We did everything in the deed.
:'''Muchado''': Sí, sí. But more important, you faced Durango and won! Once the other ranchers hear of this, they won't be afraid. You have broken Durango's hold on our lands.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Wait-- You're... happy about that?
:'''Muchado''': Of course. I told you exactly what you had to do to legally gain control of the land, didn't I?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Huh. I guess you did.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Wow! Can you believe how you perfect this all worked out?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Yeah, uh, so, maybe we should get out of here before we wear out our welcome.
:'''Rex Salazar''': There's just one thing I want to do first.

===The Rescue===
:''Note'': Rex goes alone to rescue his girlfriend Circe from the clutches of Black Knight. but it turns out she has been waiting for him.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Alone Together===
:''Note'': Finally together at last, Rex and Circe reminiscence about their good and hard times together ans their romance begins to grow.
===Retribution===
===Temporary Insanity===

===Crime and Punishment===
:''Note:'' His false insanity revealed, Van Kleiss abducts Circe with the intent of punishing her for betraying him, due to her enduring love for Rex.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, Circe, you shall learn the ultimate price of betraying me.
:'''Rex:''' ''Leave her alone!!''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, Rex. For young love. One of your greatest weaknesses. After I finish off your beloved, you will no longer be a hindrance to me. 
:'''Rex''' (''enraged'')''':''' I ''said''...LEAVE HER ALONE!!!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Shadowed Past===

===Separation Anxiety===
===Brotherly Love===

===Rocky My World===
:'''Beverly:''' Oh, this is so awesome! We're seeing the Trendbenders live!
:'''Rex:''' Well, maybe not see them, but we'll totally hear them.
:'''Sebastian''': Attention! The Trendbenders will be arriving through the back of the club.
:'''Beverly:''' Slick trick! Yes, Rebecca. I know! Only drink the bottled water. No, we're not that close to the stage. Ugh! I know that's where they mosh-pit. Don't worry! Bye!
:'''Rex:''' Your sister is acting like your mother. I wouldn't put up with it. Doc?! I'm right next to her! Yes, we've got earplugs. Only bottled water-- I know! Yes, you'll pick us up at 11:00. Okay! Bye!
:'''Sly:''' ''[singing]'' I met a guy who has looking for a lucky break. I met a guy mad he wouldn't make a mistake. No loser here the weight would be upon his face. This ain't no lucky break it's just another day.
:'''Beverly:''' Hey!
:'''Rex:''' There's something wrong with that guy.
:'''Beverly:''' Yeah! It's called lack of social skills.
:'''Sebastian:''' We have to talk! You got to listen to me!
:'''Rex:''' I think they're a little too busy for a chat right now.
:'''Sebastian:''' It's me! Your first fan!
:'''Rex:''' Come on, dude. Can't you just watch the show, like everyone else?
:'''Sly:''' ''[singing]'' You won't bring me down. Yeah-yeah-yeah. You won't bring me down.
:'''Sebastian:''' I'm not just everyone else.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' You want to rethink trying to stop me?
:'''Beverly:''' Whoa! Geek in triplicate!
:'''Rex:''' More like EVO geek.
:'''Sebastian:''' I bet you're not even a real fan!
:'''Rex:''' Hey, I know their music!
:'''Sebastian:''' Yeah? What album is &quot;Bitten on the Wind&quot; from?
:'''Beverly:''' Uh, their first album.
:'''Sebastian:''' Wrong! Their third! Poser!
:'''Sly:''' Here's one from our first album-- &quot;Bitten on the Wind.&quot;
:'''Beverly:''' Told ya! Their first album! Who's the poser now?
:'''Sebastian:''' But it is their third. They keep denying their first two albums exist!
:'''Rex:''' Huh?
:''[Rex bones cracking]''
:'''Rex:''' Shouldn't you be home, making sure your mom isn't snooping around your basement? Ouch! All right, I've had enough.
:'''Sebastian:''' I know you. You're that guy from Providence that beats up on EVOs.
:'''Rex:''' And I'm guessing you're not one of my fans.
:'''Sebastian:''' This isn't over! They still need me to show them the way back. I'll make them listen to me.. No matter what! Ugh!
:'''Man:''' No re-entry without a hand stamp.
:'''Rex:''' Uh, but--
:'''JoJo:''' It's okay. He's with me. I'm JoJo, the band's manager.
:'''Beverly:''' Oh! Sly Tyler, vocals, six-stringer. Burrito Beau on the big bottom, and Leon Adler on the skins.
:'''Beau:''' Bass. Drums.
:'''Beverly:''' They're even cutter up close!
:'''JoJo:''' But Sebastian isn't. And now that fruitcake fan has become a major menace.
:'''Rex:''' You know who that guy is?
:'''Sly:''' Yeah, he's one of our first fans from way back.
:'''Leon:''' But he didn't like our change in music direction.
:'''Beau:''' Change, like in popular.
:'''Sly:''' So he started sending us nasty e-mails and slagging us on the fan sites.
:'''JoJo:''' But now he's turned violent, and it turns out he's... H-he's...
:'''Rex:''' An EVO that can multiply himself.
:'''JoJo:''' We can't handle that kind of threat, but you can.
:'''Beverly:''' Is this a job offer?
:'''JoJo:''' As head of security for the rest of the tour.
:'''Rex:''' Huh, I don't know. Putting up with groupies, great music, catering, the Rock'n'roll lifestyle-- Oh, right, like I'm not totally in for this!
:'''Beverly:''' And I'm your deputy, sheriff.
:'''Sly:''' Absolutely.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Absolutely not.
:'''Rex:''' They've got an EVO threat.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Fine, Rex. Beverly? And don't forget to use earplugs.
:'''Rex:''' Private jet to the next gig? Airline-- First class? Coach?
:'''JoJo:''' Of the road kind.
:'''Rex:''' Traveling the open road, bringing music to the people. Where to next?
:'''Beau:''' Eugene, Oregon. ''[Unenthusiastically]'' WHOO-HOO!
:'''Rex:''' Ow!
:'''Leon:''' Bad seat. Got a lot of them.
:''[Beau farts]''
:''[Rex sniffs]''
:'''Leon and Rex:''' Oh!
:''[Leon coughs]''
:'''Leon:''' Isn't the ozone layer depleted enough, Beau?
:'''Rex:''' Want to hit the streets and check out the local scene?
:'''Sly:''' Seriously, man? It's just another town.
:'''Beau:''' Been there. Seen them all.
:'''TV Announcer:''' He's currently under 3, 2 behind the leader. This is a very tricky--
:'''Rex:''' Oh, let's throw this in the pool!
:'''Leon:''' Hey, I'm watching something, dude!
:'''Rex:''' How about a food fight?
:'''Sly:''' Sorry, man. Not feeling it.
:'''Rex:''' This isn't feeling very Rock'n'Roll.
:'''JoJo:''' Rex, we hired you to consult on security, not rock-tour clichés.
:'''Sebastian:''' Room service.
:'''JoJo:''' Again? You guys, this is costing too much.
:'''Sly:''' But we didn't order anything else.
:'''Sebastian:''' That's okay. This is on the house!
:''[Sebastian grunts]''
:''[JoJo gasps]''
:'''Rex:''' Look out! He's got... Paperwork?
:'''Sebastian:''' I've got notes and visuals on where you've gone commercial and how you can get back to your roots! He's with the band now? He's not even a real fan! You see? You've got to come with me. You need my help!
:'''Rex:''' They're not going anywhere, but you are!
:'''Sebastian:''' My copies don't feel pain.
:'''Rex:''' But you do!
:'''Girl:''' Whoa! You must really be a big fan!
:'''Sebastian:''' Only of their early stuff.
:'''Girl:''' Eww! Their early stuff is weak.
:'''Teen girl:''' But their new songs are awesome!
:''[Girls giggling]''
:''[Sebastian growls]''
:''[Girls screaming]''
:'''Rex:''' Excuse me. I'm with the band.
:'''Teen girl:''' But you missed your ride.
:'''Rex:''' That's okay. I've got my own.
:'''Man:''' Rock bands! Never again!
:'''Sebastian:''' I've got to take you away from this sellout existence, where you deny your first two albums even exist.
:'''Sly:''' B-but those albums weren't any good. That's why we only had a few fans, like you.
:'''Rex:''' If there's only three of them, then who's driving the car?
:'''Sebastian:''' Aah!
:'''Rex:''' Did he... Ah! Rent that car from the circus? Time to cut this act short.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' Oh, man. I went to my first Trendbenders show in that car.
:'''Rex:''' Maybe I can't turn off your obsession, but I can shut down your nanites.
:'''Beau:''' That clone-boy?
:'''Rex:''' I don't think he's going to be a problem now.
:'''JoJo:''' We can still use you on the tour. What did you say?
:'''Rex:''' Yes!
:'''Sly:''' Good man! ''[singing]'' You see the light, and it's oh, so bright, a million times more than before, now we'll show you the door, some starts fade, and some starts shine, the bright ones stand the test of time, the others burn out and sing, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, kill your radio, you live a life for all to see, sometimes it's right, sometimes obscene, now you're the enemy, it's one for all and all for me, unlocking doors and misery, the others burn out and sing, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, out of time, kill your radio, out of time, kill your radio, out of time, kill your radio, it isn't all, that it's cracked up to be, I never thought it'd be so easy, I wouldn't have it any other way, you see the light, and it's oh, so bright, a million times more than before, now we'll show you the door, some starts fade, and some starts shine, the bright ones stand the test of time, the others burn out and sing, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, &quot;yeah&quot;.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Sly:''' At least we got a day off before the next gig.
:'''JoJo:''' Guys, a club owner in fleeceburg just offered us amazing money. I booked it.
:'''Rex:''' For when?
:'''JoJo:''' We're already running late.
:'''Sly:''' They're paying money for us to play in this dump?
:'''JoJo:''' Big money. Come on. You're on in ten minutes.
:'''Rex:''' I'm guessing ticket sales are a little slow.
:'''Leon:''' Are we breaking up?
:'''Beau:''' This dive seems awfully familiar.
:'''Sebastian:''' It should.
:'''Rex:''' That voice seems awfully familiar!
:'''Teens:''' Dude! Nobody move! What's going on? Who's touching me? What is this? Excuse me. What is going on?
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' I built an exact replica of the first club you played in.
:'''Beau:''' Hey, that's one of my puke stains. Fruitcake knows his details.
:'''Rex:''' But I cured you.
:'''Sebastian:''' Hmm... That was a copy, not the original.
:'''Sly:''' Whatever. When's this gonna end, fan-boy?
:'''Sebastian:''' It ends tonight. Check the floor at your feet.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' I've given up trying to get you back to your roots. So now you'll play what I want to hear for the next hour. And then your career ends with a bang. :'''Sly:''' On behalf of the band, I'd like to thank our manager, JoJo, for booking this totally insane gig!
:''[JoJo laughs nervously]''
:'''Sebastian:''' The sound of cold, hard cash is the only music sellouts like you listen to anymore.
:'''Rex:''' They're not sellouts. They just got more popular than you wanted.
:'''Sebastian:''' You try anything, and I'll end their last gig prematurely. You're only alive because I want you to see what the Trendbenders used to be like. For the next hour give me the early stuff, when you were cool.
:'''Sly:''' Why bother? You're gonna nuke us, anyway.
:'''Sebastian:''' Because if you don't play, this happens!
:'''Sly:''' Aah!
:'''Leon, Sly and Beau:''' No more!
:'''Sly:''' Okay, dude, what's the first number?
:'''Sebastian:''' &quot;Crawling undertow&quot;!
:'''Sly:''' Well, how does it feel?
:'''Sebastian:''' First album, seventh song. Fifth song on the Japanese import.
:'''Sly:''' To get that weight back on our shoulders--
:'''Sebastian:''' You're giving it a beat that wasn't in the original, man! Not even in the remix from the box set. Play it right this time! I'm missing the concert because of you!
:'''Rex:''' Stinks to be you. Got to cure the real Sebastian. But which one is the mother ship?
:'''Sebastian:''' You can't even play your old songs like you used to. Total disappointment. Let's end this bummer concert.
:'''Sly:''' But we still have over a half-hour left!
:'''Sebastian:''' Last song, no encore.
:'''Rex:''' Tell me who's the original, or I'll turn you into dessert topping!
:'''Sebastian:''' You don't scare me. I don't feel pain.
:'''Rex:''' But the real Sebastian does. Sly! Maximum feedback! Now! Thanks, Doc.
:'''Sebastian''': AAAHHHH!
:'''Rex:''' How do you like their new hit, Sebastian Prime? Here's another new groove you're not going to like.
:'''Sebastian:''' Aah!
:'''Rex:''' Congrats. You're back to being a solo act.
:'''Sebastian:''' You've got to listen to me!
:''[Sebastian yelling]''
:'''Rex:''' Kidnapping, assault and battery, construction without a permit-- that should keep him away for years.
:'''JoJo:''' Have to say it, guys, but we've got a gig in toledo to get to. Security?
:'''Rex:''' Not anymore. Sebastian's done, and so am I.
:'''Sly:''' Dude, I thought you wanted the rock'n'roll lifestyle.
:'''Rex:''' I'm not tough enough for it. I need to get back to something easier, like city-smashing EVOs and conspiracies to take over the world.
:'''Beau:''' Don't know what your missing.
:'''Rex:''' I think do. But I don't miss this. Yes, doc? Don't need my earplugs anymore. I quit. Will you let me tell you? No, the EVO threat wasn't just an excuse. Well, I'm coming back! Will you let-- Doc!

===Lost and Found===

===My Brother's Keeper===

===Target: the Consortium===
: '''Jungle Cat:''' You are...?
: '''Rex:''' Rex. Rex Salazar. What are you?
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Lost... and found.
: '''Rex:''' HUNH! AAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
: ''[Rex gasps deeply]''
: '''Rex:''' Whoa. That was a total zero on the fun meter.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Learning how to communicate with the nanite world isn't about fun. Did you get anywhere at all?
: '''Rex:''' Don't know. I connected with a Master Control Nanite for a second, and then I lost it. But I also got, like, this feeling that something's about to happen in the nanite world. Something... big.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Argh! This is Rylander's speciality, not mine. There's no way I can cover for him.
: '''Caesar:''' Not to worry, Dr. Meechum. You won't have to any longer. Dr. Rylander will take over from here.
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Oh, really, Caesar? From his current location of beyond the grave?
: '''Rylander:''' Actually, Peter, I was never completely dead-- just spread a little thin-- ''[chuckling]'' Moleculary speaking. Caesar's been working on putting me back together.
: '''Black Knight:''' All of them together-- At last. Contact the Consortium. We now have something to show them. Something big.
: '''White Knight:''' Even having two of the Master Control Nanites doesn't change the vital importance of finding the other three. But the latest intel I've received could give us a way to neutralize the group obsessed with these machines.
: '''Six:''' The Consortium.
: '''Rex:''' Aren't those the money guys that bankrolled the Nanite Project in Providence?
: '''White Knight:''' The same. Formerly made-up of six members, but now five-- Reddick, made his wealth in real estate and construction. Vostock, black market finance and KGB... Zanubian, arms dealing and shipping. Roswell, oil and minerals. Anthony Haden-Scott, worldwide media.
: ''[Rex munches]''
: '''Rex:''' Should we be writing this down for the pop quiz later?
: '''White Knight:''' You may be facing them soon because of the efforts of our stealthiest agent.
: '''Rex:''' Mm! Thank you! I think.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' He's not talking about you.
: '''Rex:''' Hey! It's Evo-cat guy! Uh... sorry-- What's your name? O...kay, cat with no collar, what's in the sack? Bunch of canaries? Well, that's... something.
: '''White Knight:''' Our associate has been tracking the Consortium with a little help from a former member.
: '''Rex:''' I remember him! He's the one Rylander got revenge on with an EVO love letter.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' That he never recovered from. But he's still full of useful knowledge about the other members.
: '''Rex:''' As long as you have a towel handy for the answers.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' The Consortium has financed a new facility for nanite research. All of them will be at that location within the next six hours.
: '''Six:''' And so will we.
: '''White Knight:''' A rare opportunity like this can't be missed. You three will capture the Consortium and bring them to a secure location. Understood?
: '''Rex:''' Purrfectly.
: '''Black Knight:''' Gentlemen, I wanted you here today to--
: '''Reddick:''' &quot;Wanted?&quot; Sounds like a command.
: '''Vostok:''' ''[Russian accent]'' You get to ask, not order.
: '''Black Knight:''' I'm sorry. Let me restate. I asked you here because I can now present some major developments in your quest. I finished construction on the nanite reactor and reassembled against all odds the original science team to run it. Doctors Meechum, systems expert. Salazar, artificial intelligence. Rylander, microengineering. And Van Kleiss, biomechanical integration.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Nanite's recorder locked in. Hologram Rylander saves money on meals. Glow, glow, glow, yipper.
: ''[Van Kleiss smooches]''
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' A human flashlight and a brain-fried babbler. This is what I'm supposed to work with.
: '''Vostok:''' Looks like your geniuses have some issues.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' ''[British accent]'' I seem to recall there were two other Salazars on the team.
: '''Black Knight:''' They're dead-- And just as well. Considering their actions are responsible for our setbacks, I highly doubt they would have cooperated.
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Black Pawns:''' Ohh!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Black Pawns got to talk to their costume designer. Way too stuffy.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Be quiet.
: '''Six:''' Our target?
: '''Roswell:''' ''[Southern accent]'' Little lady, I'm hoping you didn't get me out here just to watch some lab jockeys do their homework.
: '''Vostok:''' I know I've got better things to do.
: '''Black Knight:''' Aside from the all-important reassembly of the science team and activation of the nanite reactor, I do have another development to show you.
: '''Roswell:''' Yeah? What else you got?
: '''Black Knight:''' An acquisition.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Lost... and found.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' What's wrong with you?
: '''Rex:''' Forget the Consortium! I know where we can find a Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Six:''' Where?
: '''Rex''': Here.
: '''Six:''' We're doing both. You two get the nanite, I'll get the Consortium.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' On of the five? That's all?
: '''Reddick:''' You know we need all of the Master-Control Nanites to do us any good.
: '''Vostok:''' What about the two you lost? And the other two still out there?
: '''Black Knight:''' We'll have the other four in due time. Take this back to the vault. But remember that each one has its own useful powers. : '''Roswell:''' Not enough to drag me all the way out there, little lady.
: '''Black Knight:''' &quot;Black Knight&quot;.
: '''Black Pawns:''' You're not one of us.
: '''Six:''' Stay clear of the Pawns. They're not buying our cover. Repeat-- Stay clear of the Pawns.
: '''Rex:''' Steel door. A vault!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' That was close.
: '''Rex:''' Got it. Have to be as stealthy as you from now on.
: ''[Jungle Catsnarls]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarling]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Van Kleiss!
: ''[Jungle Cat muffled grunting]''
: '''Rex:''' Way not to be stealthy. Sorry, cat guy. I know you want payback for him turning you into stone and all, but the nanite is more important.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Security alert. Intruder.
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' You find the nanite. I'll be a diversion.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' She has shown us some progress. That one nanite is significant in itself.
: '''Reddick:''' It's all five or nothing. Or are you thinking of working a separate deal with the one?
: '''Vostok:''' Can we please not talk like this while those two are in the room?
: '''Roswell:''' Yeah, Xanubian, put a sock in all your yammerin'.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Another intruder at security zone three. It's Agent Six.
: '''Rex:''' Gotcha.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Unh! Aah!
: '''Rex:''' I'll take that. Six! I've got the nanite!
: '''Six:''' Meet your outside.
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Rex:''' I've got it! Let's scat, cat!
: '''Black Knight:''' If he's here-- So is Rex. Vault security, come in.
: '''Reddick:''' Is there a problem?
: '''Black Knight:''' A minor security issue. I'm taking care of it.
: '''Vostok:''' ''[Russian accent]'' You better, little lady.
: '''Rex:''' Well, mission half accomplished.
: '''Six:''' This should complete it.
: '''Rex:''' You planted a bomb?!
: '''Six:''' Plan &quot;B&quot;.
: '''Rex:''' The cat! He's still inside! No!! We've got to go back for the cat! He's on his own mission. Van Kleiss is there.
: '''Six:''' Understood.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Black Knight, shouldn't we evacuate?
: '''Black Knight:''' The security threat has been removed. Among other things. Track them, find them.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Interlace template, instal copper buffers, hold the mayo, set core temp, heat cold fries.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Remember me?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Someone let the cat in.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' You cast me aside as if I was garbage. Turned me to stone. Drained me of life-- Almost. Now it's your turn to suffer.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Had a kitty once. Not you. Bubbles liked catnip and parsnips. Chapped lips. Hip, hip, hooray!
: ''[Jungle Cat growls]''
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' If you're here to clean up, ask for directions, not Dr. Screwloose.
: '''Rex:''' Ugh! Meechum. Bro. He's here to put Van Kleiss out of the world's misery. Give me a reason why he shouldn't.
: ''[Jungle Cat growls]''
: '''Rylander:''' Because the world needs him right now, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' Dr. Rylander! How did you--
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' You got it to work.
: '''Rylander:''' I've looked better, I'll admit, but I'm still very much alive. And so happy to see you again.
: '''Rex:''' If you could bring him back--
: '''Caesar:''' Sorry, Rex. It won't work for mom and dad.
: '''Rex:''' So, you've come back-- But you're working for them! It seems crazy, I know, but look at our progress-- The nanite reactor is almost operational.
: '''Rex:''' Not if I destroy it.
: '''Black Knight:''' Surround them.
: '''Caesar:''' Trust me, hermano, We're doing the right thing.
: '''Rex:''' You keep saying that, but I don't believe it anymore!
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Bubbles, I'm sorry. Here, kitty, kitty. Left you out in the rain, rain go away--
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarling]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh! Easy on the hot sauce, Peter, Peter pumpkin two seater.
: '''Rylander:''' Tell him, Caesar.
: '''Rex:''' Tell me what?
: '''Six:''' Revenge time is up.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: ''[Jungle Cat roars]''
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Aah! Careful! Our work! Ugh! Take it outside!
: '''Rex:''' Ugh!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Rex. Rex Salazar.
: '''Rex:''' I can't talk now! Ugh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Thank you.
: '''Rex:''' You're so not welcome.
: '''Black Knight:''' You should have left when you had the chance.
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' You guys have such a great cafeteria.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Had to come back for more.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Aah! Unh!
: '''Six:''' Unh!
: ''[Black Knight grunting]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Unh!
: '''Six:''' UNNNNNNNNH!
: '''Black Knight:''' Ugh!
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Rex:''' Let's say adiós.
: '''Six:''' There's still plan &quot;B&quot;.
: '''Rex:''' We're not assassins.
: '''Six:''' You're not. This might be our one chance.
: '''Rex:''' To be like them? Then what makes us different?
: '''Six:''' Go. I'm right behind you.
: '''Roswell:''' You brought us into an ambush! Right behind you, Mr. Chatterbox.
: '''Vostok:''' You are cowards.
: '''Reddick:''' Graveyards are full of dummies that thought they were though.
: '''Vostok:''' Black Knight, we have a lot to discuss about your future.
: '''Black Knight:''' By all means, let's talk.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Where's Six?
: '''Rex:''' He said he was right behind us.
: '''Six:''' I am. The Consortium still has to be dealt with.
: '''Rex:''' We now have three Master Control Nanites. I'd say the Consortium has to deal with us.
: '''Six:''' Understood.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Purrfectly.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' I'm shocked. What happened?
: '''Black Knight:''' It seems Vostok had an unfortunate run-in with our intruders as he was leaving. But, there's good news. The reactor is gone. Soon we will have all the nanites we need.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' &quot;We&quot;?
: '''Black Knight:''' I think it's time we walked about my promotion.

===Convergence===
===Enter the Nanite World===

===Enemies Mine===
: '''Valve:''' Battle is to be waged between your courage and my power. You lose.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Valve, my friend. Lovely day for a riot, don't you think?
: '''Valve:''' What do you want, Gatlocke?
: '''Gatlocke:''' I want lots of things-- A doomsday weapon, my own private island, for my mom to stop calling me to fix her computer. But what I really want is to give you a message. It's time. I suppose I'll make the introductions.
: '''Valve:''' A biker needs no introduction. And everyone knows Hunter Cain.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Everything is going according to plan. We get one more thing. Then we get wrecked.
: '''Rex:''' Sorry we're late.
: '''Bobo:''' We're not late. We're fashionably early.
: '''Providence Agent:''' I was starting to think I was on my own. I've been calling for help, but  Providence hasn't answered.
: '''Six:''' What set this off?
: '''Providence Agent:''' No idea. One moment everything was fine. The next moment, complete chaos.
: '''Rex:''' I'm heading in. I'll lock up when I'm done. Oh, don't bother getting up. I'm just gonna knock you back down again.
: '''Bobo:''' Back in your cages, you filthy animals!
: '''Rex:''' Huh? What? You? It's a who's-who of old EVOs. Whew! Really not in the mood for this. You're kidding me. You?!
: '''Gatlocke:''' Three men, one objective, no rules. Oh, this is exciting, isn't it? Or is it just me?
: '''Valve:''' The others are saying that Rex is here. Rex will get his when we're ready.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Watch yourselves. This one's unpredictable. We know what you want, No-Face. Then we can give it to you. Do what we say. Then you'll get Rex. You'll get the chance to tear Rex apart. Piece by piece. Now we're ready.
: '''Rex:''' So you remember who I am. Surprised you have a big enough brain for that. These cells are pretty dull. Let's redecorate. No way I'm letting an EVO get won over on me. Especially a big old frog.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Almost out. Freedom is just a... Bottomless ravine away.
: '''Valve:''' The biker begs the question, how are we getting across?
: '''Gatlocke:''' You know that's not really how begging the question is supposed to be used. Are we kidding? Anyone who gets worked up over that phrase needs to be savagely beaten.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' This'll override the drawbridge system.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Ooh, now how would someone like you procure something like that?
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Friends and hide places.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, frog legs. Let's put you in solitary confinement.
: '''Bobo:''' Do you look like you got run over by an overstuffed garbage truck?
: '''Rex:''' Feels like it. This is a prison riot. Where's Providence? They should be all over this.
: '''Six:''' They never responded to any calls.
: '''Rex:''' It's a setup. Providence wanted this to happen. But why?
: '''Six:''' Six here. Go ahead.
: '''Rex:''' Wait. This bridge wasn't down before.
: '''Bobo:''' Yeah. About that. Some of the prisoners escaped together. Gatlocke...
: '''Rex:''' That's bad.
: '''Bobo:''' Hunter Cain...
: '''Rex:''' That's even worse!
: '''Bobo:''' Valve.
: '''Rex:''' That's... Really? Valve?
: '''Bobo:''' Yeah. And No-Face.
: '''Rex:''' Those four are loose? Together?
: '''Six:''' We've got a bigger problem.
: '''Rex:''' How can it be bigger than this?
: '''Six:''' The EVOs in the city-- The only thing keeping them tame are their control collars.
: '''Rex:''' And this is a problem because...?
: '''Six:''' Because someone has shut them all down.
: '''Rex:''' Let me get that for you.
: '''Bobo:''' Dumpster dog. Considering you used to ride around in the Paris, I guess you're moving up in the world. Main to your mud.
: '''Six:''' Are you injured?
: '''Rex:''' Just worn out. Is this day over yet?
: '''Bobo:''' Oh! Signs pointing no.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? That came from the track. Can you handle things here?
: '''Bobo:''' Only one way to find out. Valve. Those nanite superchargers you keep using are bad for your health.
: '''Valve:''' If I were you, I'd be more concerned with your own short-term health.
: '''Rex:''' Please, like I have anything to worry about from you. The other three, they're dangerous. You, you're just comedy relief.
: '''Valve:''' I am not. Comedy relief.
: '''Rex:''' Well, you're not funny, that's for sure.
: '''Valve:''' Like the road that continues on, so must the biker.
: '''Rex:''' Where did he go so? Ew! Get away from my tacos, cockroach! Huh? You running away? I'll give you this much, Valve. Maybe you're getting smarter.
: '''No-Face:''' Unlike you.
: '''Rex:''' I put you away once, No-Face. I'll do it again.
: '''No-Face:''' The one who makes machines. The one we've been waiting for.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Figures you try to shoot a guy in the back.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' All I see is a filthy EVO.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, first off, that Lai is tired. Second off, last time I checked, you're teaming up with one. Would that make you an EVO lover? All this hide and seek is wearing me down! Huh? Figures.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Leaving so soon? That's not going to impress the hiring committee. Now, let's see what we have here. &quot;Honor roll, A/V Club.&quot; Ugh. &quot;Glee Club.&quot; ''[Scoffs]'' I'm going to have to be brutally honest with you. You're perfect for my gang. Can you sing soprano? My last soprano drove his motorcycle off a cliff. He survived, but his voice was never the same. By the way, can you fly? This is quite the surprise. I'm willing to hire you, Rex, but you better have some excellent references.
: '''Rex:''' Back to prison, Gatlocke!
: '''Gatlocke:''' Then consider the offer rescinded! You could be a valued member of my gang. It's a tough job market out there, you know?
: '''Rex:''' I'd never work for you!
: '''Gatlocke:''' No, not with that attitude, you wouldn't. Welcome to my gang. Your first task is to destroy Rex-- That guy right there.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Gatlocke:''' Your second task is to complete harassment training. I teach the class. This pamphlet explains everything.
: '''Rex:''' No, no, no!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, come in. What's happening?
: '''Rex:''' One really bad day.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Your nanite readings are off the charts.
: '''Rex:''' No surprise. I've been fighting and curing EVOs non stop.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' We need to upload your nanites immediately.
: '''Rex:'''  Now? Doc, my four worst enemies are still on the loose. Well, my three worst enemies in Valve. Plus the city's in chaos. And where in the world is Providence? How come they're not here dealing with this?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Six and Bobo can mop up the last few EVOs. You have to offload.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, fine. But we better make it fast.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You'll be locked in the chamber for one hour.
: '''Rex:''' Just do it, Doc.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' This could be a long sixty minutes.
: '''Valve:''' According to the tracking bug, Rex is inside.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Gentlemen, this is what we've been waiting for. It's time for Rex to die.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' They followed him.
: '''Gatlocke:''' After we kill Rex. We should work together and form a team call ourselves... Gatlocke and the kitty cats.
: '''Valve:''' Silence your mouth or the biker will silence it for you.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Oh, Valve. You can pretend to be angry, but deep down, you know you're a kitty cat.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' They know we're here.
: '''Gatlocke:''' You're quite feisty. Have you ever considered a career in the fast growing field of post apocalyptic gangs?
: '''Valve:''' She has spirit. Valve the biker will see that spirit crushed.
: '''Gatlocke:''' You're Gatlocke's favorite kitty cat. Hmm. Rrr.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Don't follow her. She's trying to lead us away from Rex. Rex is close-by.
: '''Valve:''' Rex's chamber... Five minutes to spare.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' More than enough time.
: '''Gatlocke:''' I could have sworn that we'd agreed to take Rex out together.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' I'm changing the terms of the deal if you have a problem with that, feel free to stand right where you are. I've waited a long time for this. Rex!
: '''Valve:''' Empty? Or a trick of the mind?
: '''Rex:''' Isn't that obvious? Then again, that tracking bug you stuck on me was obvious, too. And the fake countdown? Obvious. It only took me thirty minutes to upload my nanites. You wanted to run me ragged so you could get me. Instead, here you are all in one place. Gotcha!
: '''Valve:''' UGHH!
: '''Rex:''' UGHHHH! I still don't get why you enlisted Valve. I mean, he's really a third-string bad guy.
: '''Valve:''' Valve is the biker. A biker is dangerous.
: '''Rex:''' Hmm. Yeah. No.
: '''Valve:''' Rrrr!
: '''Rex:''' So unpredictable. Like a third-string bad guy.
: '''Valve:''' AAAAH!
: '''Gatlocke:''' I have a horrible sneaking suspicion that he's winning.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Then do something about it!
: '''Gatlocke:''' Don't have to yell. A kind word will get you much further.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Gatlocke:''' UGHHH! Oh! Oh! Oh ho ho! Ouch! My back! My front and my back! OHH! This is total, total agony!
: ''[Gatlocke gasps]''
: '''Gatlocke:''' ''[Calmly]'' I'm okay. Really. I'm fine.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' You're lucky. I'll give you that. But you're only delaying the inevitable. You can't beat us all!
: '''Rex:''' I never intended to. This offload facility? I reprogrammed it. My surplus nanites aren't being stored. They're powering the shield.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' It's a trap!
: '''Rex:''' Have fun keeping each other company!
: '''Bobo:''' What a day.
: '''Rex:''' You know, none of this would have happened if Providence hadn't released the convicts and turned out all those EVOs.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' They did that to keep you busy.
: '''Rex:''' Keep me busy from what?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' The Nanite Project. We just found out. While we dealt with the EVOs, Black Knight got her hands on another Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Rex:''' Then it's time.

===Sinister Secrets===
===Wounded Hearts===
===One Step Ahead===
===Breaking Point===
===Behind Closed Doors===

===Keeping Hope===
===Trust===

===Terror of the Black Knight===

===Endgame, Part One===
: '''Rex:''' It was going to happen sooner or later. We had most of the pieces, so it was only a matter of time before the Black Knight made her move. And of all the chances she had to attack, it had to be tonight... at this very moment... while I was in the shower. Huh? How many?
: '''Six:''' Should it matter?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Can't you do any better than that?
: '''Bobo:''' I thought you'd never ask.
: '''Rex:''' Rah! Yah!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' If they get to the Meta-Nanites, we still have options.
: '''Rex:''' Of the self-destruct kind? No, thanks, Doc. It's not going to end that way... hopefully.
: '''Black Knight:''' We'll dispense with the pleasantries. You know what we want.
: '''Rex:''' There is no way you're walking out of here with the nanites.
: '''Black Knight:''' You seem so certain.
: '''Rex:''' We've beaten you before. Every single time, in fact. So, this time is different... How? Okay, that's different. Ugh! You're an EVO?!
: '''Black Knight:''' Do you think you were the only one they experimented on back in the day? You were the guinea pig. Consider me the new-and-improved version.
: '''Rex:''' Okay. Before we go any further, I should probably explain a few things. It started when a bunch of rich guys decided they wanted to live forever, so they got the best scientists in the world to figure out how. The answer was nanites. These microscopic machines would cure disease, end hunger, and pretty much make the world a better place. My parents and older brother were on the team, and so was this guy. Look familiar? Van Kleiss. Then one day there was an accident. To save my life, my parents injected me with nanites. It worked. But there were a few crazy side effects, like the fact I could talk to machines and, later on, build some pretty cool things. That got the rich guys thinking-- How far could we take this? Turns out pretty far. These little machines could control the very fabric of the Universe, but they would need a Master Control Nanite to program all the others and tell them what to do. Energy, gravity, time/space, elemental, mechanical-- All the things that make the Universe run. Combined together, they would pretty much make you a God. And when my brother and parents found out the Consortium was about to put these nanites inside themselves, they sort of freaked out in a &quot;got to save the Earth&quot; kind of way. Something had to be done to stop it. Turns out that meant blowing the whole thing up, better known as &quot;The Nanite Event&quot;. That didn't end well for my parents. While everyone else ran away, my parents were trapped inside. Sill not sure how. There was some good news-- No more Master Control Nanites. And the bad news? Dangerous unprogrammed nanites got spread across the world, and nanites plus DNA equals EVO. My brother Caesar got caught in a time warp during his escape. Van Kleiss got blown to smithereens and became the world's biggest pain in the nanite. And me? I got amnesia and traveled the globe living the good life... At least, that's how I tell it. The only part I know of wasn't all that much to brag about. I did get some good friends and a few enemies out of the deal. Turns out that losing my memory was a regular thing for me. Last time I woke up and said, &quot;Who Am I?&quot; It was when this guy found me-- Agent Six. He worked for Providence, sort of a global police force created to clean up after the event. It was paid for mostly by the same group of goons that started the whole thing-- The Consortium. It was great for a while. I had my own personal doctor, a chimp sidekick, a cool best friend to hang with. I was a full-fledged hero. The world loved me, and my powers kept getting better and better. Van Kleiss was still a pain, but I managed to take care of him. A few times, actually. Then things started to get not so cool. My brother shows up from out of nowhere. I get thrown six months into the future to find White Knight kicked out of Providence and this lady in charge-- Black Knight. She's been the lapdog of the Consortium from day one, and now her bosses want to pick up where they left off. Most of the old team of scientists have been reunited, and together, they've restarted the nanite program. The Master Control Nanites were spread across the globe in the first explosion, and we've been racing against Providence to get them back. So far, we've been winning that fight, and that pretty much brings us to right now.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' The Black Pawns are robots?!
: '''Black Knight:''' Total obedience at the flip of a switch. Can you blame me?
: '''Black Pawn:''' What's so funny?
: '''Six:''' I hold back against people. You're not people.
: ''[Bobo Haha grunts]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Ugh!
: '''Feakins:''' Hey! Hey! Take it easy, would you? Oh!
: '''Rex:''' Fitzy?!
: '''Feakins:''' Heh? Sorry, guy. They found me. She's hard to say &quot;No&quot; to... and live.
: '''Black Knight:''' Well put, Mr. Feakins. And thanks to his unique ability, we can set aside our nanite enhancements and do this the old-fashioned way.
: '''Rex:''' Come on. That's not fair. I'm unarmed!
: '''Black Knight:''' Precisely.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Stop! Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad idea.
: '''Rex:''' Listen to the crazy guy.
: '''Black Knight:''' Why are you here, Van Kleiss?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I forgot. Oh, no, wait. I remember. He's got a Master Control Nanite swallowed up inside him. It's been hiding, the naughty thing.
: '''Rex:''' On second thought, don't listen to him. He's, uh-- He's crazy, remember?
: '''Black Knight:''' You're sure of this?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, yes, yes. Quite sure. Do you have any mints?
: '''Black Knight:''' I want Rex at the lab. Restrain and sedate him.
: '''Rex:''' How, hold on a minute.
: '''Feakins:''' Hey! What about me?
: '''Black Knight:''' I'm not taking any chances. He stays with Rex. Kill the others.
: '''Rex:''' Ugh! Ahh.
: '''Master-Control Nanite:''' Human.
: '''Rex:''' What are you telling me? What do you want?
: '''Master-Control Nanite:''' Complete. Complete. Complete. Complete. Complete.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, I get it. How?
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Caesar:''' Calm down, Rex. You're safe.
: '''Rex:''' Safe?! Black Knight and her robo-troopers just came knocking, and Van crazy says I have a Master Control Nanite inside me!
: '''Caesar:''' Fascinating, isn't it? All this time, it's been hiding undetected inside you. I wonder if this particular control unit is responsible for his unique nano-evolution.
: '''Rex:''' Are any of you even listening to me?
: '''Feakins:''' Boy, I am. It's like a movie but real! I just want to go start pressing buttons. Can I get another milkshake?
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' How exactly do you plan on getting it out of him?
: '''Black Knight:''' I have a suggestion. Tear it out.
: '''Rylander:''' It would kill him.
: '''Black Knight:''' That's none of my concern.
: '''Caesar:''' The nanite is tied to his DNA. Simply pulling it out of him would ruin the nanite.
: '''Rex:''' And me, too, remember?
: '''Caesar:''' The only way this will work is if we put him in the cyclotron with the other Metas. It should extract automatically during the reassembly.
: '''Black Knight:''' And if it doesn't?
: '''Caesar:''' Hmm. Good question.
: '''Rex:''' Here's another one-- Don't I get a say in this? Like, isn't this the exact thing that our parents died trying to stop?
: '''Black Knight:''' Take him to the hub and prepare for the transfer. The Consortium is here and extremely impatient. I want this finished within the hour.
: '''Feakins:''' Aah! Hey, what am I-- Sandpaper? Not so rough! ''[sputtering]'' Rough.
: '''Rex:''' Glad someone can see the humor in this.
: '''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, see that Rex is well taken care of.
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' I hope you know what you're doing, Salazar. This is a huge risk we're taking.
: '''Rylander:''' Listen to Peter. The thing we swore to stop at any cost, the thing that took your parents-- It could happen-- Right here, today.
: '''Caesar:''' It can't, and it won't. You'll have to trust me on this.
: '''Rylander:''' You can only say that so many times, Caesar.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' We've been waiting almost an hour. Not even refreshments?
: '''Black Knight:''' You can have your snack after we become Gods.
: '''Roswell:''' &quot;We&quot;?
: '''Black Knight:''' That's right-- &quot;We.&quot; None of this would be possible without my efforts.
: '''Roswell:''' And our money, sister.
: '''Black Knight:''' By all means, have your contempt. There's plenty of room buried next to the Russian if you'd like to keep him company. That's what I thought. Now, if you'll follow me--
: '''Bobo:''' &quot;Kill the others.&quot; Not gonna happen, lady. We're bulletproof. Ow! Hangnail.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Ugh! We know where they took him. Why are we here? We need to go get Rex.
: '''Six:''' I agree. We just don't have the resources, Rebecca. We'd need an army.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You've been known to make the impossible happen, Six. How hard could that be?
: '''Six:''' Six here. Copy that. We just got ourselves an army.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You see?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' That will be all.
: '''Feakins:''' But the lady said-- Good luck, Kid.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' These restraints were made for you. You're very special, you know.
: '''Rex:''' Lucky me.
: '''Caesar:''' Van Kleiss... leave us.
: '''Rex:''' I really hate you.
: '''Caesar:'''I know how this looks, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' But what? I just have to trust you? Is that what you were going to say? Just help me-- Please.
: '''Caesar:''' It may not seem like it, but I am.
: '''Rex:''' Caesar... I'm scared.
: '''Caesar:''' So am I, little brother. This will all be over in a few minutes.
: '''Rex:''' It's already over! When I get out of this, I never want to see you again!
: '''Rylander:''' Commencing countdown.
: '''Roswell:''' WHOO-HOO!
: '''Reddick:''' Payback time!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Caesar:''' This won't be entirely unpleasant. It should feel similar to when you offload surplus nanites.
: '''Rex:''' Stop! You can't do this! You can't merge!
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Something's wrong.
: '''Rylander:''' Of course something's wrong. The kid is fighting it.
: '''Caesar:''' This could be bad.
: '''Rylander:''' You have to tell him, Caesar.
: '''Caesar:''' Rex, you have to stop. Listen to me. The nanites are supposed to do-- Rex? Can you hear me?
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Actually, he can't. There's a short in the comm relay.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' This would be a wonderful day for a picnic.
: '''Rex:''' RA-A-A-A-A-A-H!
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' Ugh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Ugh!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' So much for that plan.
: ''[Rex laughs]''
: '''Rex:''' Oh, serves you right. All that and you come out of the oven looking like freaks. Nice job!
: '''Black Knight:''' It's not exactly what we were expecting, but it's a start.
: '''Reddick:''' This isn't what we agreed to.
: '''Roswell:''' Where's the rest of our power? This is all messed up!
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' How can this be possible?
: '''Rylander:''' The Meta-Nanites were dispersed between the five. This is quite a surprise.
: '''Caesar:''' We've got to get Rex out of there. Step aside, Van Kleiss.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' They still don't have what they want... and neither do you.
: '''Black Knight:''' You're angry. I can see that. If you want to take it out on anyone, it should be Rex.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' I think I can agree to that.
: '''Roswell:''' Count me in! This might actually be fun!
: '''Rex:''' Let's think about this for a second. Whoa!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' How 'bout that? Exactly one second. Whoa! Aah!
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' What a perfect way to learn to use our powers-- Tearing this brat apart.
: '''Rex:''' Only one problem with that, sparky. I've been using my powers a whole lot longer-- And I'm pretty good.
: '''Roswell:''' You got any ideas here, missy, or we gonna stand around and get it handed to us?
: '''Black Knight:''' The Meta-Nanites were designed to work together. So will we.
: '''Rex:''' What? Are you gonna join together to make a robo-mutant?
: '''Black Knight:''' That's exactly what we're going to do.
: '''Rex:''' I need to stop giving them ideas. Huh?
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Black Knight:''' No one the help you-- No family, no friends, nothing. It's a terrible way to go.
: '''White Knight:''' Captain Calan, target the base. All weapons, sire.
: '''Providence Agent:''' Fire control reports they're being jammed, sir.
: '''White Knight:''' Only one salvo. Black Knight must have prepared for this.
: ''[Rex groans softly]''
: '''Rex:''' Big giant robot. Black Knight.
: '''Six:''' We know.
: '''Rex:''' Have to... stay and stop them.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Another time, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' I-I--
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Holiday to White Knight. We have Rex.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' We're just gonna watch them go?!
: '''Black Knight:''' Let Providence have their weapon back. With our combined power, the world is ours.

===Endgame, Part Two===
:'''Black Knight:''' Science has given us a tremendous gift-- Nanites. We've seen what they can do-- The good and the bad. But they're true potential has been largely unseen. Until now. Our goals are varied. Fame... power... revenge... wealth... order. Yet, one thing unites us-- Greed. You're surprised I admit it? Well, don't be. You'll never get far in life without wanting it all. And for those who might consider standing in our way... We'll let our powers speak for themselves. The world is ours. And no one can stop us.
:''[Roswell laughs]''
:'''Roswell:''' This is more fun than my first rodeo. What else you got?
:'''Six:''' Any change?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' He's sleeping. The nanites in him are making repairs. That's a good thing. He's a tough kid, Six.
:'''Six:''' I know.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' See you next time. Judging by what you fed us for lunch, I'm guessing twenty minutes. Can't even go to the little scientists' room without them breathing down our necks. How long are we going to put up with this?
:'''Caesar:''' I know it's not easy working under these circumstances.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Do you? I don't hear you complaining, or have you even noticed that we're prisoniers?
:'''Rylander:''' Gentlemen, please. Can we focus on a more important problem? The Consortium's gain of power is a troubling outcome. Something should be done.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' If you're talking about stopping them, I'm listening.
:'''Black Knight:''' I want you all in the boardroom in three minutes.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' The world is being taken over by nanite-fueled ex-c.e.o. Psychos, and they still act like they're running a business.
:'''Roswell:''' You nerds gave us a raw deal. I want a do-over.
:'''Caesar''': A do-over?
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' What my colleague means to say is that our powers are remarkable to be sure, but we only have one seventh of what we were promised.
:'''Rylander:''' You're asking a lot.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' You're asking the impossible. You'd be lucky to survive the extraction.
:'''Caesar:''' This is true. You may be powerful, but you're not Rex.
:'''Black Knight:''' I share your disappointment, gentlemen. But are you willing to lose everything for this?
:'''Roswell:''' Go big or go home.
:'''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, what do you have to say?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Easy-peasy. I can do it. It's only a matter of correctly calibrating the bio-filters with the homing frequency of the nanites. By the way, have you seen my socks?
:'''Caesar:''' Van Kleiss--
:'''Black Knight:''' Has an assignment. The rest of you... Stay out of trouble.
:'''Rex:''' You started without me.
:'''Six:''' Glad to see you up and around. Something bothering you?
:'''Rex:''' Besides black knight taking over the world? I'm trying to find my friends. I know Providence took them.
:'''Six:''' We're working on that.
:'''Rex:''' And are we doing anything about the Consortium? What about... The robot? The one I can build. Don't play dumb, Six.
:'''Six:''' Come with me.
:'''Rex:''' That's me? No way! All this time, I could have been making myself into that thing? Ohh! Maybe not.
:'''Six:''' Evidence suggest that you've never been able to control it. It's a weapon of last defense. This was filmed on the day that I found you. It was also the day I made a promise that it would be the last time you ever built this machine.
:''[Rex scoffs]''
:'''Rex:''' Or what, you'd kill me? You plan on keeping that promise?
:'''Six:''' Rex, you have to know something. We believe this is the type of thing that ends in you losing your memory.
:'''Rex:''' Well, it happened to you, and you turned out just fine.
:'''Six:''' I only lost six years. Six years is all you have. You would lose everything. I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but you need to think about the consequences of some of your options.
:'''Noah:''' It feels weird hanging out when the world is under attack. I don't know if I should be fighting back or out in the wilderness setting up a survival compound.
:'''Rex:''' If you had the power to stop all this, but it meant losing everything, would you do it, Noah?
:'''Noah:''' I don't know. I'm just glad I don't have to make that kind of decision. I guess that's why you're the hero.
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Rex:''' I wish I could get some kind of sign. Anything. Hmm.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Red and yellow, red and yellow. One false move can kill a fellow.
:''[Van Kleiss laughs]''
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' He's got local control. We're locked out. I still don't even know how this is possible.
:'''Rylander:''' I've been looking at the data projections. As crazy as Van Kleiss is, his theory is sound.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Sorry to disturb your sleepy sleep. There might be a slight delay.
:'''Black Knight:''' Why?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' We have a visitor. Should I set out tea?
:'''Rex:''' Hey, in there! Come on out!
:'''Black Knight:''' Back for more? Happy to accommodate.
:'''Rex:''' I should warn you. It's going to get ugly.
:'''Black Knight:''' One would think you would have learned the last time. I can feel you resisting me. Stop.
:'''Roswell:''' Why is it you get to call all the shots?
:'''Black Knight:''' Because I'm the one who has the power to join us. Help me defeat Rex, and you can call all the shots you like.
:'''Rex:''' Hyah!
:''[Rex babbling]''
:''[Rex gasps]''
:'''Six:''' It's a weapon of last defense. It's happened.
:'''Noah:''' That's Rex?
:'''White Knight:''' I'm going to assume you're seeing what I'm seeing.
:'''Six:''' White--
:'''White Knight:''' Before you say anything, Six-- Whatever agreement we may have had regarding this situation no longer applies. Am I clear?
:'''Six:''' Understood.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': What was that all about?
:'''Six:''' A second chance.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six, we have to do something.
:'''Six:''' I've seen it before. We're too late.
:''[Rex coughing]''
:'''Rex:''' Donde esta mi zapato?
:'''Noah:''' Rex! Hold on!
:'''Rex:''' What? What happened?
:'''Bobo:''' You blew up, kid.
:'''Six:''' Do you know who we are?
:'''Rex:''' I... I do! Oh-ho! I remember! Ow! Ow! I wish I could forget this pain in my... The Consortium!
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' This is utter nonsense. I refuse to be led around like a show dog.
:'''Reddick:''' You can always go back outside and take it up with Providence.
:'''Black Knight:''' Guard the door. Nothing gets by you.
:'''Six:''' They're robots.
:'''Rex:''' Oh! Right! That part I forgot.
:'''Bobo:''' Next time, leave some for the rest of us, huh?
:'''Rylander:''' I'll stay here and guard the equipment.
:''[Rylander laughs]''
:'''Caesar:''' Little brother, they've had this place completely locked down. I've been trying to reach you.
:'''Bobo:''' What he said.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Yeah, you deserved that.
:'''Rex:''' Open it.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' We can't. Still completely locked out of the system. Besides, you can't interrupt once the cycle has started.
:'''Rex:''' Well, then, un-start it!
:'''Black Knight:''' You cleaned up for the occasion. How thoughtful of you.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, this isn't for you. You didn't actually believe that I'd let the five of you have all this power.
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' I thought you were working for us?
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Rex:''' You see that? I knew it! He's not crazy! Okay... oh! He's crazy, but just his usual crazy.
:'''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, I am not amused.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I don't imagine you would be. This was always my intention, even in the very beginning. It's a pity your parents caught me trying to activate the sequence for myself. And, of course, there's the &quot;broken&quot; hatch. The world would be a much better place if they had just left well enough alone.
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' Black Knight, do something.
:'''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, you have made a huge mistake.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, then, let the fun begin.
:''[Black Knight groans]''
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' You can't overload that relay from a subdirectory. You have to get a root. It's impossible from here.
:'''Caesar:''' You're a very negative person, Peter Meechum.
:''[Dr. Meechum groans]''
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' I'll try from the main terminal in the lab.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Caesar:''' Rex, wait! That's not necessary.
:'''Rex:''' I'm not waiting around, hermano.
:'''Caesar:''' No. That's not what I mean.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Yes. I can see it.
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Huh? No.
:''[Van Kleiss groans]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's incredible something so small could have so much [[w:Omnipotence|power]]. That thing could rip apart the very fabric of the universe.
:'''Rex:''' It's still a nanite. I'm gonna talk to it.
:'''Caesar:''' No. It's okay.
:''[The fully complete Meta Nanite comes to Rex, as if it were waiting for him, whose eyes and body glow with a pale blue cosmic aura.]''
:'''Caesar:''' Rex, listen to me. The Meta-Nanite-- It could never work in anyone but you. Now in its pure state. Mom and dad, we programmed them that way from the very beginning. All of this... It's meant for you.
:'''Six:''' What are you saying?
:'''Caesar:''' Right now, Rex is [[Omnipotence|the most powerful being in the universe]].
:'''Bobo:''' You hear that, Kid? Don't let it get to your head.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, can you hear me?
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, doc. This is pretty trippy. Not exactly sure what I'm supposed to do now.
:'''Black Knight:''' You're a [[God]], Rex. You can do anything you want.
:'''Six:''' You know what to do.
:'''Rex:''' You're right, Six. So are the rest of you. I can do anything I want. Maybe it's time for a revolution. Isn't that what you five wanted? A revolution? Well, welcome to it.
:'''Noah:''' Is he gonna be like this from now on?
:'''Rylander:''' Uh... People. He's inside the nanite reactor.
:'''Dr. Holiday and Caesar:''' Inside?
:'''Rex:''' Okay, little guys. I need you to do something for me.
:'''Black Knight:''' Follow me, quickly.
:'''Reddick:''' I'm through following you. We trusted you everything, and look what we got.
:'''Black Knight:''' We may still be able to retain some of our abilities, but only if you follow me.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Are you seeing this?
:'''Rylander:''' Tehnically, I don't have eyes, but yes.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Reports are coming in. EVO's all over the world are spontaneously curing.
:'''Six:''' Not spontaneous.
:'''Caesar:''' He must have programmed all the nanites in the reactor to initiate a worldwide cure event.
:'''Black Knight:''' What is your next directive?
:'''Rex:''' I don't want anyone using you again. Ever. And that includes me. Deactivate.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex:''' I think it's over.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I think you're right.
:'''Caesar:''' I wanted to tell you, brother. So much was at stake.
:'''Rex:''' We're good. And we'll always be brothers.
:'''Diane Ferrah:''' Across the world, not an EVO to be found. After more than six years, it appears we've awoken from the nightmare.
:'''White Knight:''' The EVOs may be gone, but we still have nanites.
:'''Rex:''' Leave it to you to spoil  all the fun, White Knight.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' There are some people here to see you, Rex.
:'''Rex:''' Tuck? Cricket? Skwydd?
:'''Skwydd:''' Eh, I guess I should start going by Walter again.
:''[Rex runs to Circe and the two lovers share a close hug, happy to be together at last]''
:'''Rex:''' Uh... Are you...?
:'''Circe:''' I'm okay. Normal, but okay. I think you may have put yourself out of a job.
:'''Skywdd:''' Yeah. What are you gonna do? Go to school?
:'''Rylander:''' It was nice having the team back together. You know, we should find a new project.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' You kidding? I'd rather have root canal with a rake. Worst experience of my life.
:'''Caesar:''' Do you want to hear about some of my new ideas or not?
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' I'm listening.
:'''Rex:''' Finally.
:'''Six:''' Need anything?
:'''Rex:''' Nope. I'm good. There's always going to be something, isn't there?
:'''Six:''' Yes, there is.

==Characters==
===Main===
*Rex Salazar (Daryl Sabara)
*Six
*White Knight
*Bobo Haha
===Supporting===
*Circe (Tara Sands)
*Tuck (Dante Bosco) 
*Skwydd
*Cricket
*Beverley Holiday 
*Caesar Salazar
*Five
*Tres
*IV

===Villains===
*Van Kleiss
*The Pack
*Gatlocke
*Hunter Cain
*Quarry
*Black Knight
*The Consortium
===Couples===
*Dr. Rebecca Holiday &amp; Six
*Rex &amp; Circe
*Noah Nixon &amp; Claire Bowman
==Elements==
===Rex's Machines &quot;Builds&quot;===
*Big Fat Sword
*Buzz Saw
*Punk Busters
*Boogie Pack
*Cannon
*Smack Hands

===Rex's Other Abilities===
*Technopathy
*Data Manipulation
*Technological Manipulation 
*E.V.O. Curing
*Breach Detection
*Electronic Disruption

===Omega Nanite-Powered Builds===
*Blast Caster
*Funchucks
*Bad Axes
*Block Party
*Sky Slider
*Water Jet

==External Links==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1636691/ Generator Rex] at [[Internet Movie Database]]
* [http://generatorrexpedia.wikia.com/wiki/Generator_Rex Generator Rex] at Wikia

{{Authority control}}
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Teen superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Cartoon Network original series]]
[[Category:Television series by Cartoon Network Studios]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Teen animated TV shows]]</text>
      <sha1>qefcjtvyovkvjrn4blqlw3rt1c8170r</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944137</id>
      <parentid>3944136</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T08:02:22Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-17291-92</username>
        <id>3303475</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* A Brief History of Time */</comment>
      <origin>3944137</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="350382" sha1="66ybno5yag81mxcim8iov1aypntdd3r" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
This is a list of quotes from the popular, yet cancelled animated television series ''[[w:Generator Rex|Generator Rex]]''. A video game and several chapter books were produced. 

The series supposedly &quot;[[w: cliffhanger|concluded]]&quot; with its third season, despite leaving many questions unanswered and crucial elements unresolved ''before'' the two-part Season 3 finale, ''Endgame''.
==Season One (2010-2011)==
===The Day That Everything Changed===
:'''Bobo''': Wheels or wings?
:'''Rex''': Wheels, I wanna tear something up.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Agent Six''': He just needs more training control of those emotions.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': He's a teenager that's like asking you to get a different color suit!
===String Theory===
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, we had a situation at the safe house. Meecham is cured. It was Rex.
:(''The camera zooms in on Van Kleiss whose expressive vindictive indeed'')
===Beyond the Sea===
:''Note'': Rex meets his [[w:love interest|love interest]] and sweetheart, Circe.
:────────────────────
:'''Rex''': Don't know what you're 24/7 is, but mine is 10% OH YEAH! And 90% uhh.
:────────────────────
:'''Rex:''' Outta the way!
:'''Circe:''' Uh!
:(''Rex and Circe both crash to the ground'')
:'''Rex:''' Are you okay? Did you see that awesome save?
: '''Circe:''' Sorry, I was busy trying not to get tackled by some nitwit.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah? How that work out for you? And who still uses the word &quot;nitwit&quot;? I'm Rex.
: '''Circe:''' I'm leaving.
: '''Rex:''' Hey, wait!
: '''Noah:''' Rex, you're up.
: ────────────────────
: '''Six:''' What about the new tracker?
: '''Doctor Holdiay:''' His nanites unbuilt it, just like all the other ones we tried sneaking in him. We're still receiving his biometric readings though. It's strange, they're all over the place. It's almost like his emotions are...shorting out.
: '''Six:''' He took an unusual interest in Calan's briefing about equatorial upticks.
: '''Doctor Holiday:''' And that's important because?
: '''Six:''' Rex has been acting stir-crazy and I heard the monkey mention something about spring break. ''[to workers]'' Scan all resort areas for his bio signature.
: ────────────────────
: '''Noah:''' Oh, you have got it all messed up. Falling for some girl? We're supposed to get them to dig us. Not the other way around.
: '''Rex:''' I don't know. There was something different about her. She's...right there. Later.
: ────────────────────
: '''Rex:''' Hey, wait up!
: '''Circe:''' Why are you following me?!
: '''Rex:''' Uh, I don't know exactly.
: '''Circe:''' Do you think I'm playing?!
: '''Rex:''' Well, if you are I'm down for another game. I thought maybe we could hang out. It is spring break, you know. Fun.
: '''Circe:''' I'm with my family. We're not really for fun.
: '''Rex:''' What! Who comes to the beach and doesn't have fun?
: (''Circe raises her hand'')
: '''Rex:''' Don't you think that's a little messed up?
: '''Circe:''' Maybe a little.
: '''Rex:''' So?
: '''Circe:''' I'm Circe.
: ────────────────────
: '''Rex:''' Hold on! 
: '''Circe:''' Woooo!
: '''Rex:''' Definitely better than my suggestion.
: '''Circe:''' Hunting for seashells is fun.
: (''both laugh'')
: '''Beach Guy:''' You two skid-marts up for a race to the beach?
: '''Circe:''' Well, if you drive as badly as for play volleyball, we could probably walk there and win. You're on, meathead.
: (''guy drives off in anger)''
: '''Rex:''' So you were watching me play.
: '''Circe:''' Maybe a little.
: '''Rex:''' sure you wanna do this?
: '''Circe:''' Thrill me.
: '''Beach Guy:''' Hahahaha! Wooo!
: '''Circe:''' C'mom Rex, faster!
: ────────────────────
: '''Biowulf:''' Explain.
: '''Circe:''' Relax. I was covering. Every day when I'm at the end of that jet i when I could hanging out with the other kids, it's starting to look suspicious.
: '''Biowulf:''' You're not here for vacation, girl! You're here to prove yourself to Van Kleiss. And I'm starting to doubt you can.
: '''Circe:''' I told you. It's a done deal.
: (''The shadow of her tubular sonic mouth is seen'')
: ────────────────────
: '''Noah:''' So what's on today's spring break agenda? Jet skiing, hiking?
: '''Bobo:''' Eating our weight in crab legs?
: '''Rex:''' I figured we'd just chill. Let's just see who...uhh I mean what shows up.
: ''(siren-like call)''
: '''Rex:''' Did you hear that?
: '''Noah:''' Sorry, enchiladas.
: '''Rex:''' No, that! You seriously didn't hear that?
: ────────────────────
: '''Rex:''' Circe?
: '''Circe:''' You really shouldn't be here right now.
: '''Rex:''' I heard something coming from over here.
: '''Circe:''' I'm serious, Rex. It's not safe.
: '''Rex:''' What you think some sort of roguewave is gonna knock off and- Oh.
: '''Circe:''' There you are. Get out of here, Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Circe!! What are you doing!?
: '''Circe:''' Me!? What are you doing!?
: '''Rex:''' Right now, my job. Okay! Don't freak out.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' You're an E.V.O.?
: '''Rex:''' You catch on fast.
: '''Circe:''' Takes one to know one. 
: (''Shows Rex her fleshly sonic mouth'')
: '''Rex:''' No way.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' Cover your ears!
: '''Rex:''' What!?
: '''Circe:''' Your ears! Cover them!
: (''Projects her tubular, fleshy mouth and emits strong hypersonic bursts'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' Did I hurt you?
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. It was awesome. You were the one making that sound.
: '''Circe:''' I'm glad you're OK, but I'm in serious trouble. I have to go deal with it.
: '''Rex:''' Why are in trouble? Is it because of that E.V.O.? Let me help you.
: '''Circe''': No. I have to do this by myself.
:(''Rex takes a hold of her hand'')
: '''Rex:''' Meet me later.
: '''Circe:''' Rex... (''Looks away sadly'')
: '''Rex:''' I've never met anyone like you...like me. It'd be nice to talk to an E.V.O. who's not, you know, trying to kill me. Nine O'clock? 
: '''Circe:''' I'll try.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' I just wanted to have some fun, see if I could jog my memory, feel...normal.
:'''Six:''' Your &quot;normal&quot; is different, Rex.
:(''Rex hears Circe's irresistibly hypnotic melody'')
:'''Rex:''' It's her, Six. Just let me deal with this, OK? Alone.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' You're only here because you heard my [[w:siren |call]]. That's what I do. I'm like a big E.V.O. magnet.
: '''Rex:''' I came because I thought we had a connection. And what are you calling? Nothing's out there but big, ugly sea monsters.
: '''Circe:''' It's them! You have to go! Rex, please! I don't want them to see you with me!
: '''Rex:''' Who? Your parents?
: '''Circe:''' They're not my parents. They're...
: '''Rex:''' The Pack!? Van Kleiss' guys!? Your with ''them''!?
: '''Circe:''' Yeah. I'm with them. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Biowulf:''' We're running out patience with you, Circe! You have one last chance! Summon the E.V.O.! Finish the job!!
: '''Circe:''' Don't you think I've been trying? Every day for the last week? Sometimes these things take time.
: '''Rex:''' It is just me or do you use your powers to kill all the guys you meet? You're letting her go, now!
: '''Biowulf (laughs)''': So ''this'' is who you been wasting your time with. She's on her own free will, Rex.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Circe?
: '''Circe:''' You have to leave me alone, Rex!! ''Please!''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Six:''' Go after her. I mean it.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' The Pack!? Are you serious!?
: '''Circe:''' To the rest of the world I'm a freak! Not to them!
: '''Rex:''' You're not a freak to me! What about that?
: '''Circe:''' What about it!? Spring break is fun, but we can't live there, Rex. The real world...
: '''Rex:''' In the real world, I work for Providence. You could come with me. Could you cut out that noise for a second!?
: '''Circe:''' No, I can't! I'm running out of time! Most people on this planet what E.V.O.s gone, ''including'' Providence! With Van Kleiss, I have a purpose; a home. You don't what that means to me.
: '''Rex:''' Actually, I think I might.
: '''Circe:''' So what are going to do?
: '''Rex:''' How about fight that big, ugly sea monster again?
: '''Circe:''' Finally! It's what I came here to do.
: '''Rex:''' You've been calling that thing, haven't you?
: '''Circe:''' It's my initiation into the Pack. I was brought here to capture it.
: '''Rex:''' By yourself!? The two of us could barely take it on! There's a resort here; innocent people! Send it back!
: '''Circe:''' That's not an option, Rex. Van Kleiss was very specific.
: '''Rex:''' Then I'm helping you.
: '''Circe:''' That's not an option either!! 
: (''Blasts him with her hypersonic waves'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' If I do this myself, I'll have a life! If I don't, Van Kleiss won't be happy. And you've seen what he does when he's not happy.
: '''Rex:''' If I don't help you, he won't even get the chance!
: '''Circe:''' Give me some credit, Rex! I'm not as helpless as you think!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I don't care whose side your on, Circe. I don't want to see you die today. Can we at least agree on that?
: '''Circe:''' You have no idea what I'm in for, Rex. But you're right. I can't do this by myself.
: '''Rex:''' You're not as helpless as you think.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe''' (''relieved'')''':''' Rex, you stopped it.
: '''Rex:''' We make a good team, huh?
: '''Circe:''' Yeah, we sure do. 
: (''She and Rex lean in closer for a passionate kiss, but are interrupted by Biowulf'')
: '''Biowulf:''' This trial was for you alone. Van Kleiss will not be pleased.
: '''Rex:''' Forget them, Circe. Come with me. Providence could use you.
: '''Circe:''' That's just not my life, Rex. I'm sorry. I did have fun.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Van Kleiss:''' We had high hopes for your abilities, Circe. Failure leaves its mark on yet another pretty face.
: '''Circe:''' I'm not afraid.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Of course not. You're a survivor, like all of us. I understand you made a friend during your trial. I'm pleased. Rex is very important to me, Circe, which makes you very important to me as well. Welcome to the Pack.
: (''Circe looks slightly worried, which clearly indicates that she does have real feelings for Rex'')

===Lockdown===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Holiday:''' Rex, stop!!
:'''Rex:''' Give me one good reason!
:'''Holiday:''' Because, Rex...that's my sister.
:'''Rex:''' Can I...help?
:'''Holiday:''' She's an incurable.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Six:''' Restrain it. Carefully.
:'''Holiday:''' Thank you.

===The Architect===
:'''Six''': Still no sign of the kid?
:'''Holiday''': Not since we lost his biometric readings five days ago.
:'''Six''': Was Noah any help?
:'''Holiday''': Says he doesn't know where he is either. What is it going to take for Providence to realize that he needs a home, not just a room and a job? We've been pushing him away.
:'''Rex''': I build machines and cure EVOs-- the only one in the world who can. Just one cure for that kind of pressure-- road trip. But that doesn't mean &quot;vacation&quot;.
:'''Build worker''': Whoa!
:'''Maxwell''': What in the world is that?!
:'''Build worker:''' Oh, no!
:''[Both screaming]''
:'''Jacob''': Get away from that cable! Unh!
:''[Kate gasps]''
:'''Maxwell''': Hey!
:'''Jacob''': Agh!
:'''Kate''': Jacob!
:'''Rex''': Nope. A hero's work is never done. You okay?
:'''Jacob''': What... are you?
:'''Rex''': Here to help.
:'''Jacob''': We've got to get that cable back underground. We've been compromised.
:'''Kate''': But, Jacob, the EVOs--
:'''Jacob''': We don't have a choice. Everything we've worked for That boy is here for a reason.
:'''Rex''': Hey! Pay attention!
:'''Providence Agent''':  We have a hit in sector 15.
:'''Six''': Anyone in the area?
:'''Providence Agent''': I show one patrol in the vicinity. Signaling to intercept. Roger that. We're on our way.
:'''Rex''': Agh! You want a ride? Vamanos!
:'''Jacob''': You can control your nanites?
:'''Rex''': People usually start with &quot;thanks,&quot; but yeah.
:'''Jacob''': You see? This is exactly what the Architect can help us achieve... harmony with the nanites. This boy... sorry... young man Is a miracle.
:'''Rex''': I'm not a miracle. I'm just Rex.
:'''Jacob''': Well, Rex, you're a blessing to us for what you did here and for showing us that all our work isn't in vain.
:'''Rex''': Like imaginary work?
:'''Jacob''': Follow us.
:'''Providence Agent''': Confirming coordinates. We've lost the EVO signal. Did you take it out? Negative. There's nothing here. Must be another anomalous reading. You can return to post.
:'''Rex''': This is awesome! A hidden village. And nobody knows you're out here? Not even Providence?
:'''Jacob''': Especially not Providence.
:'''Rex''': Really? really. Pshh! Looks like you get pretty good cellphone reception.
:'''Jacob''': That tower is gonna change the world, Rex. I'm sure you have a lot of questions, but I have one for You. Are you hungry?
:'''Rex''': Mmm! Mmm!
:'''Caleb''': My dad said you fought all those EVOs all by yourself. Were you scared? Didn't your dad tell you to stay away from EVOs?
:'''Kate''': Caleb, let him eat. We don't get many visitors.
:'''Rex''': Mmm! Mmm! What is this?
:'''Caleb''': Didn't your mom ever make you meatloaf and mashed potatoes?
:'''Rex''': I don't -- I don't know.
:'''Kate''': It took me a month and a half to program in the perfect lump-to-mash ratio of the potatoes-- 7.2%!
:'''Jacob''': We ate potatoes until they were coming out of our ears.
:'''Rex''': I don't see any potatoes in there.
:'''Caleb''': They didn't really come out of our ears.
:'''Rex''': I could eat these every day.
:'''Rex''': Mmm!
:'''Caleb''': We have them every friday.
:'''Rex''': Then I might just have to stick around until next friday.
:'''Kate''': Help yourself to seconds.
:'''Jacob''': Or thirds.
:'''Rex''': Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!
:'''Bobo''': Hmm?
:'''Six''': You might think you're doing Rex a favor by covering for him.
:'''Bobo''': Get lost. I don't know what you're talkin' about.
:'''Six''': Rex is angry with us. He has every right to be. But that means nothing to White Knight. And he doesn't have the patience we do.
:'''Bobo''': Nice try. White won't lay a finger on him. He's too important.
:'''Six''': You, however, are somewhat expendable.
:'''Bobo''': All right, all right. You made your point.
:'''Rex''': I've never seen tech like this... not even at Providence.
:'''Jacob''': The Architect has some pretty big ideas. We just make them happen. He'd be very interested to meet you, Rex.
:'''Rex''': So what exactly are You doing way out here?
:'''Jacob''': Engineers like us weren't very popular after the nanite event. When we met the Architect, he offered us the opportunity to make up for that... to do amazing things. Someday, we'll be able to share This with the world. And then there's this. The Architect has actually discovered a way to communicate with the nanites.
:'''Rex''': Are you serious?
:'''Jacob''': The possibilities... We could finally live in harmony... maybe even have them help us.
:'''Rex''': Then why hide it? The rest of the world would want to know about this stuff.
:'''Jacob''': The Architect is something of a perfectionist. Says the world will know as soon as it comes online.
:'''Maxwell''': Stinkin' module!
:'''Jacob''': Is there a problem, Maxwell?
:'''Maxwell''': No matter what I try, I just can't get the interlock servo to engage.
:'''Rex''': There.
:'''Jacob''': That could have taken us weeks to figure out, and you did it in seconds.
:'''Rex''': Eh, no biggie.
:'''Jacob''': You really are amazing, Rex. We're so happy to have you with us.
:'''The Architect''': Jacob.
:'''Jacob''': I was just talking to Rex about you. The Architect.
:'''Rex''': How's it going?
:'''The Architect''': The power-linkage team is falling behind. We cannot keep having these delays.
:'''Jacob''': I'll check in with them.
:'''Rex''': Wow. Friendly.
:'''Jacob''': I like to think he's smiling on the inside.
:'''Rex''': Yeah. I know a guy like that.
:'''The Architect''': The visitor could be a problem. Do you wish to have him removed?
:'''Zag-RS''': His abilities could advance our progress considerably. And in a matter of days all humans will be gone, including this one: Rex.
:'''Six''': I'm at the location the monkey gave me.
:'''Holiday''': Well? Is Rex there?
:'''Six''': Apparently not. Tell the monkey I want to see him when I get back. Six out.
:'''Rex''': That should do it.
:'''Maxwell''': Hey, Rex, can you look at this?
:'''Rex''': Sure. Let me guess... they all need my help, too.
:'''Jacob''': You're quite the popular guy.
:'''Rex''': Amazing what a little gratitude will get you. At Providence, they'd just be yelling at me. I mean, I never felt like I really belonged there. Here, it's way different.
:'''Jacob''': I know the feeling. The Architect has made all this possible for us. We have a community... a family... thanks to him. The work we do is in part to pay that back.
:'''The Architect''': Primary systems are now complete.
:'''Zag-RS''': Prepare to take us online.
:'''Bobo''': Have a nice trip? Let's get one thing straight, pal. I would never rat out my... Ooh. He's going west.
:'''White Knight''': Why is Rex doing this? Doesn't he have a sense of duty?
:'''Holiday''': Actually, if you look, he's still doing his job. Here's every false alarm since Rex left... not false alarms, But Rex taking care of EVOs along the way.
:'''White Knight''': Why?
:'''Holiday''': I don't know. To prove he doesn't need us?
:'''Six''': Get the coordinates of the last false alarm and transmit them to my jump jet.
:'''Holiday''': Six, if we force him to come back, he'll just run away again. He has to want to be here. It needs to be his decision.
:'''Jacob''': It's all coming together, Thanks to you, Rex.
:'''Rex''': It's really cool to use my powers to actually build something, instead of just pounding EVOs. Oh, check it out. Even the boss is pitching in.
:'''Both''': Huh?
:'''Rex''': And that's getting strange looks because--
:'''Jacob''': Because in all these years, we've never seen him lift a finger.
:'''Rex''': Taking some initiative... I like that. So, this whole &quot;talking to nanites&quot; thing... how does that work, exactly? I mean, what are you gonna say to them?
:'''The Architect''': It doesn't concern you.
:'''Rex''': Uh, considering I'm filled with them, it kind of does. How do we know it's not gonna make things even worse?
:'''The Architect''': I do not answer to you, child!
:'''Jacob''': Rex? Forgive him. He's still not used to the way things work around here.
:'''The Architect''': Complete your duties!
:'''Rex''': Why do you let him walk all over you like that? Don't you want answers?
:'''Jacob''': What we want is a home. Without him, we have nothing... Nothing. We can't just run away from our problems, Rex. Most people can't. Look, this isn't perfect but it's all we've got. Rex, where are you going?
:'''Rex''': He never answered my question.
:'''Jacob''': That place is off-limits. The Architect has made it very clear to us that we can never go in there. We get this life for that promise. Rex, don't do it!
:'''Rex''': Agh!
:'''Jacob''': Rex, please!
:'''Rex''': I'm sorry, jacob. I have to know.
:'''The Architect''': Rex. The core is off-limits. You would be we to leave at once.
:'''Rex''': Not until I get some answers. What is that?
:'''The Architect''': No more questions.
:'''Rex''': So, it's gonna be like that? Okay, I'll play. Unh! What are you hiding, huh? What does this do? Yah! Yah! Huh? You're a machine? Have you seen what I can do to machines? Agh!
:'''Zag-RS''': As you can see, the current range of my signal is rather limited.
:'''Rex''': You're the computer.
:'''Zag-RS''': My human designation is &quot;Zag-RS&quot;. The device you refer to as &quot;The Architect&quot; is my autonomous counterpart.
:'''Rex''': What did you just do to me?
:'''Zag-RS''': I instructed your nanites to protect me.
:'''Rex''': &quot;Instructed&quot;? So you really can talk to them.
:'''Zag-RS''': Insidious devices, the nanites. My own potential for greatness has been compromised because of them. They must be eliminated. When the transmitter is integrated into the broadcast array you helped us complete, they will blow themselves up.
:'''Rex''': That's what this is for. It's like a big remote control. Every living thing on the planet has nanites in them. It'd kill everything!
:'''Zag-RS''': That is of no importance to me... only ensuring my continued survival.
:'''Rex''': Well, what about ours? This is all coming down!
:'''Zag-RS''': I'm afraid you're too late.
:'''Rex''': Aah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
:'''Jacob''': Rex, what have you done?
:'''Rex''': You don't understand! The Architect... it's a robot... And a big honkin' computer &quot;brain&quot; is pulling his strings.
:'''Jacob''': This can't be!
:'''Rex''': Jacob, you've got to believe me. Just go inside and look. What's left of it is on the floor.
:'''Jacob''': I can't go in there. And I don't have to.
:'''The Architect''': Rex.
:'''Rex''': You're making a big mistake!
:'''Maxwell''': You entered his sanctum! This is unforgivable!
:'''Rex''': I'm trying to tell you... this isn't what it seems. What you're protecting is a robot, and that thing we've been building is a transmitter. It's gonna send out a kill code to blow up every single nanite on Earth.
:'''Maxwell''': He's lying!
:'''Jacob''': What would be the point in that, Rex? Every living thing is infected with nanites. It would be catastrophic.
:'''Rex''': Right in the middle of that pyramid is a computer, and it doesn't care about you or Kate or Caleb. The better future that you've all been working towards... That's the lie. Think about it. Isn't it strange that you've never been inside that place, that The Architect has never given you a straight answer about anything?
:'''Jacob''': All this work it just doesn't make any sense.
:'''Rex''': You have two choices... Go in there and prove me wrong or kick me out right now. I'll have Providence here in minutes.
:'''Maxwell''': He's bluffing.
:'''Rex''': To save every living thing on earth? Try me.
:'''Maxwell''': Jacob, you can't! What about our promise? Where will we go?
:'''Jacob''': All this time, we've been living in fear, Max. It's time for that to end.
:'''The Architect''': You needn't bother. Construction is complete. Your services are no longer required.
:'''Rex''': Now do you believe me?
:'''The Architect''': Zag-RS thanks you for your hard work. In gratitude, my master has delayed transmission to allow you to say farewell.
:'''Jacob''': Farewell, huh? I'll start with you. Can you shut that thing down?
:'''Rex''': I don't know. Even without the antenna, it can mess with my nanites. I can't get too close to the computer.
:'''Jacob''': Maybe I can. Let's go!
:'''Rex''': The brain is right over there.
:'''The Architect''': Rex.
:'''Jacob''': It's still arging. The A.I. must have retreated behind a firewall. Rex, I have to go cut the power.
:'''Holiday''': Six, are you at The location?
:'''Six''': Just arrived.
:'''Holiday''': I'm picking up a massive power surge in your area.
:'''Six''': I'm not seeing anything.
:'''Jacob''': Agh!
:'''Rex''': Agh!
:'''Six''': Six to holiday. Correction... I'm seeing something.
:'''Jacob''': It's still on. Must have charged the capacitors. Figure out a way to short it out... fast!
:'''Rex''': Unhhh!
:'''Jacob''': You need to find the primary transmitter module. That will kill the broadcast.
:'''Rex''': I have no idea what that is.
:'''Jacob''': Max, we need to locate the primary module.
:'''Maxwell''': Panel 5, just off the relay bus.
:'''Jacob''': Top of the tower. You can't miss it.
:'''Rex''': Agh! Unh! Why do you have to kill everyone? Can't you just leave us alone?
:'''Zag-RS''': Alone is exactly what I want, Rex.
:'''Rex''': That kind of alone it stinks.
:'''Zag-RS''': N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o.
:'''Jacob''': It's gone. Must have uploaded to another location. But without anyone to do it's bidding, it's just a program.
:'''Rex''': What will you do now?
:'''Jacob''': We'll rebuild. The Architect may have been a lie, but what we believe in is true. We don't need him to have a community or a better future. You're welcome to stay. We sure could use someone with your abilities.
:'''White Knight''': Well?
:'''Six''': He's not here. Bobo's been worried sick.
:'''Rex''': rex: Oh, really?
:'''Six''': Ratted you out for a pizza.
:'''Rex''': Huh. Figures. What about you? Here to drag me back to Providence?
:'''Six''': Not this time. Seems like a nice place.
:'''Rex''': Yeah. It is. But it's not home. If I'm going back, there are gonna have to be some changes. First, no more curfew.
:'''Six''': No.
:'''Rex''': Second, I want to decide On my missions.
:'''Six''': No.
:'''Rex''': Okay, but there's one change that absolutely has to be made, or I'm through. Meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Mmm! Mmm! Isn't this great?
:'''Bobo''': Mmm.
:'''Six''': It's a little dry.
:'''Rex''': Mmm. Mm the lump mash ratio is a bit off.
:'''Bobo''': You know what? Maybe I'll run away, too... Go somewhere where my cooking is appreciated!
:'''Six''': We have to do this every friday?
:'''Rex''': Mmm.

===Frostbite===
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, I'm picking up a problem. You need to return to base immediately.
:'''Rex''': I miss you, too, doc. But I'm kinda busy dealing with a problem of my own. Whoa! Whoa! Aah! Okay. Ow. Big mistake, tweety. Can that bird brain of yours comprende I'm trying to help you?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, your own nanite count is off the charts. If you take on any more nanites, We're looking at an overload.
:'''Rex''': Come on, doc. It's just a big birdie.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': You're already over capacity. This is critical! Rex!
:'''Six''': Rex, you need to listen to the doctor.
:'''Rex''': Huh?
:'''Six''': This mission is revised. I need you back at headquarters now.
:'''Rex''': Do you really want a supersize pigeon flying loose all over lower Manhattan? You need me, and I can handle it.
:'''Six''': Not your call.
:'''Rex''': Unless I make it my call.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': (as everyone is fighting) Stop! Need I point out that this isn't the best place for a fight. Anything happens to that storage tank and you'll know why providence made this place so remote. Now let's just talk this out calmly, rationally.
:'''Biowulf''': Whatever happens here, Weaver. It's nothing compared to what Van Kleiss would have done to you.
:'''Rex''': What do you say guy? Common enemy? Little help?
:'''Biowulf''': Good luck. (Biowulf and Skalamander run off)
:'''Rex''': Right. What was I thinking?
:'''Agent Six''': Rex. You need to listen to the doctor.
:'''Rex''': Huh?
:'''Agent Six''': This mission is revised. I need you back at Headquarters. Now!
:'''Rex''': Do you really want a super-sized pigeon flying loose over lower Manhattan. You need me and I handle it.
:'''Agent Six''': Not your call.
:'''Rex''': (as he's flying over the Pack in an Arctic storm) Like you're really going to find me when you can't see 2 feet in front of your face... Huh? (Flies into some of Skalamander's shards and crashes) Guess that visibility thing works both ways.
:'''Rex''': (To Weaver) So, thanks to you, all this time I've been supplying nanites to Van Kleiss!
:'''Rex''': Can't you believe you let these scags get the drop on you.
:'''Agent Six''': They tried. It didn't turn out so well. Just haven't found a way to fight xenoflourine gas... yet.
:'''Rex''': What do you say guy? Common enemy? Little help?
:'''Biowulf''': Good luck.(Biowulf and Skalamander run off)
:'''Rex''': Right. What was I thinking?
:'''Agent Six''': You can't possibly absorb all those nanites! You'd overload in an instant.
:'''Rex''': In case you haven't noticed, I have this problem with authority.
:'''Rex''': (as Rex is absorbing nanites) Six wait! I can hear them!
:'''Doctor Holiday''': (Watching from the ship) What are you waiting for, Six? Take the shot!
:'''Rex''': (Speaking mechanically) Build protocol enabled. Command error detected. Abort. Abort. Stand by engaged. (Rex falls. His voice reverts to normal) Take the shot.
:'''Agent Six''': He told me he could hear them.
:'''Doctor Holiday''': I picked this up during the offload... It's Nanite. I'm sure of it.
:'''Agent Six''': Seems there are more secrets inside that kid than we realized.
:'''Skalamander:''' What's the kid doing here?
:'''Biowulf:''' I don't know. This was supposed to be routine. Something's not right.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' What did you do with my friends!?
:'''Salamander:''' He thinks we've done something.
:'''Biowulf:''' Then let him keep thinking.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' You know, the nanites in me can counteract knockout gas! The playing-possum thing's a pretty good trick. Now tell me where my friends are or I start squeezing!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Six:''' He told me he could hear them.
:'''Holiday:''' I pulled this off during the offload. It's nanite. I'm sure of it.
:'''Six:''' Seems like there are more secrets inside that kid than we thought.

===Leader of the Pack===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Holiday:''' There couldn't possibly be enough E.V.O. activity to account for these nanite readings. They're off the scale. Looking for Van Kleiss?
: '''Rex:''' Circe. I thought I saw her in the blimp.
: '''Holiday:''' That's the girl you met in Cabo Luna.
: '''Rex:''' She may be with the Pack now, but I think I can still get her to talk to me. You know I can be pretty convincing.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Dr. Holiday, there! Now let's take this outside!
:'''Holiday:''' Rex.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It's quite all right. The determination of youth. I'm sure Circe will be disappointed she couldn't see you, Rex. She's attending to other duties this evening. Now if you will excuse me. 
: '''Rex:''' Why are you really here!?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' The people of Abysus have a great way to offer the world. I'm just in part to make that known. 
:'''Rex:''' Or maybe 'cause I couldn't come to you, so now you're coming to me!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I admit you are important to me, Rex, but it's not always about you.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Circe? Interesting look. Want to tell me what's going on?
: '''Circe:''' Not today. 
:(''Knocks him out cold with a metal slate. She later looks outside Rex's prison cell and leaves, with a slightly guilty, dejected expression'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Well, thanks for nearly bashing my brains in back there! And what's with the &quot;knocking me out&quot; thing?
: '''Circe:''' We just needed to keep you out of the way until all of this was over.
: '''Rex:''' ''This!?'' He could destroy the whole city!
: '''Circe:''' He's trying to negotiate peace from a position of strength.
: '''Rex''' (sarcastically)''':''' Oh, yeah! All this nanite power is just screaming peace.
: '''Circe:''' His methods may be aggressive. But he's here to save us...and you. Come on, Rex, jump in with us. The water's fine.
: '''Rex:''' I'll think about it ''after'' I've stopped Van Kleiss.
: '''Circe:''' It's too late for that now, Rex. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Van Kleiss:''' We will not be ignored! ''Circe'' understands this. Why don't you respect her judgement?
:'''Rex:''' You think you can lure me in with her.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Like a fish to water.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I won!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It seems you have. Your parents would have been so proud. I never had the chance to tell you about them, have I? Perhaps another time.

===Breach===
: '''Rex:''' This is...different.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' What is Van Kliess up to, Breach! Where did he have you send Rex?
: '''Breach:''' Van Kleiss isn't always in charge of me. Sometimes I do what I want; like now.
===Of Love and War===
===No Strings Attached===
===Desperate Measures===
===The E.V.O. Agenda===

===Dark Passage===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' Rex? Is that you?
:'''Rex:''' You know my name.
:'''Dr. Rylandar:''' Of course I do! I gave it to you!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' I can't believe you're alive. What a stroke of luck.
:'''Rex:''' Dad?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' You've lost your memory, have you? not surprising, considering what you've been through. Oh. Sorry to disappoint you, Rex. I'm afraid I'm not who you want me to be.
:'''Rex:''' Oh. So if you're not my dad, do you know where he is? Oh, well. Rex Rylander is a goofy name, anyway.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Dr. Rylander, I've got to know.
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' You must understand. It was never about power or greed. It was able changing the world, saving mankind from disease and starvation. And we would have succeeded until ''they'' got involved.
:'''Rex:''' What are you talking about?
:'''Rylander:''' The nanites were incomplete. The incident spread them across the globe before we could finish their final programming. Except for you. Yours were from a different batch, the very first actually. All those innocent victims.
:'''Rex:''' If you feel so bad about it, why have you been attacking more people?
:'''Rylander:''' Hmm. &quot;The chosen few.&quot; Those men and women, Rex, are far from innocent. While they hide in their office towers and gated estates, I've been here trying to set things right, to find a cure for what we created. I've begged for more funding.
:'''Rex:''' Wait! Everyone you attacked- They all worked on the Nanite Project?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' They commissioned it. I merely wished to send them a warning to see what would happen if they refused to help finish the good work we started. And it was good, Rex. ''You're'' living proof that we were doing the right thing.
:'''Rex''' (''indignant'')''':''' By turning me into an E.V.O.!?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' You had an accident. The nanites were your only hope. It was tremendous gamble. The...unexpected side affects name later. It was surprise to all of us. Oh. The look on your brother's face...
:'''Rex:''' Brother?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' When the Event occurred, it was your powers that saved you both. Most of the others, they weren't so lucky.
:'''Rex''' (''to himself'')''':''' I'm not alone.
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' Oh, here. I have something for you.
:(''Injects the mighty and all-powerful Omega Nanite into his system'')
:'''Rex:''' Ow.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' The force-field must be failing.
:'''Rex:''' Forget the force-field! What did you just inject me with!?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' ''[[w:Omnipotence |Everything]]''.
:'''Rex:''' ''Enough, okay!? Do you have any idea what's been like!? Not knowing who I am!? If my family's dead or alive!? Quite with the mad scientist act and give me some answers!!''
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' Forgive me, Rex. I been so consumed with my own guilt I didn't consider what you must be going through. The truth is-
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Truth, Doctor? You wouldn't know the first thing about it. Nor loyalty for that matter. How many times must I tell you this, Rex? The answers you so desperately seek lie with me. And as for you, Doctor, consider our past disagreement settled. I look forward to continuing our research...alone. This was unavoidable, Rex. The longer you resist me, the more people get hurt. Rylander has always been on borrowed time. All of this belongs to me now. Destroy me and you lose everything.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Six:''' No. I didn't see what happened, but according to Rex, Van Kleiss has been eliminated. Rylander's experiment is a total loss.
:'''Holiday:''' All of this for nothing. I'm sorry, Rex.
:'''Rex:''' It wasn't for nothing, Doc. I've got a brother. Out there- somewhere. Finally! I started to get some real answers. I feel closer to the truth than ever.

===The Forgotten===
:'''Six:''' Rex!
:'''Rex:''' It's like I'm hearing through my nanites.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''No-Face:''' You are not the Before.
:'''Rex:''' I'm not sure that was a complete sentence back then.
:'''No-Face:''' ''They'' are the Before! The Before forgot us. The Before left us in pain.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Operation: Wingman===
:'''Annie:''' &quot;Do you have a girlfriend?&quot;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;It's complicated. She's in league with an evil dictator who wants me dead.&quot;
:'''Annie:''' &quot;Yeah. My dad's always worried about me dating, too.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Rabble===
:'''Quarry''': Come on, Rex. (''holds up Rex's journal'') We both know this is what you really want. So go ahead take it. Walk away. Show them who you really are. You were always very good a taking care of yourself. Why should now be any different?
:'''Rex''': (''Cuts his journal in two'') Whoever I was back then, is not who I am now. Not anymore.
:'''Quarry''': Your choice.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex''': It's over, Quarry! You lose!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Sqywwd:''' I hope you don't expect us to thank you.
: '''Rex:''' No. Providence won't bother you unless you do something stupid.
: '''Cricket:''' We'll be fine. Thank you, Rex. 
:(''Kisses him on the check'')
: '''Tuck:''' Don't forget about us, Okay?
: '''Rex:''' That may be a promise I can't keep. (''Flies off on his Boogie Pack'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' It's going to happen again, isn't it? I'm going to blank out. How long do I have?
: '''Holiday:''' I don't know, Rex. It's likely triggered by a specific event; something traumatic.

===The Hunter===

===Gravity===

===What Lies Beneath===
: '''Circe:''' Rex, it's me.
: '''Rex:''' Circe? What do ''you'' want!?
: '''Circe:''' Things in Abysus- they're bad, Rex. I need your help.
: '''Rex:''' Oh, well, how do I put this nicely? Not a chance! You made your choice, Circe! I made mine. End of story.
: '''Circe:''' Please, Rex. I know you're mad at me, but this is a matter of life and death.
: '''Rex:''' A lot of things are right now. Nice talking to you.
: '''Circe:''' Rex!?
: (''Looks crestfallen'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I didn't know you were still in touch with Circe.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, me neither. Can we please stop talking about this?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Holiday:''' She's very pretty.
: '''Rex:''' She works for Van Kleiss. She's the enemy. 
: '''Holiday:''' But you still like her, don't you?
: '''Rex:''' I am ''not'' talking about this!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' Rex, thank you.
: '''Rex:''' I'm not doing this for you. But...your welcome. (''Circe similes hopefully'') So what exactly am I supposed to do?
:'''Holiday:''' When I said you were the key, I meant that literally. According to the plans, the machine needs to be turned on by a molecular level. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' You ''lied'' to me!!
: '''Circe:''' You wouldn't have come if I told you the truth.
: '''Rex:''' This wasn't about you needing ''me''!! This is about you needing Van Kleiss!!
: '''Circe:''' I need you both. Please, Rex, you don't understand.
: '''Rex:''' No!! ''You'' don't understand!! Van Kleiss is gone and I intend to keep it that way!!
: '''Biowulf:''' You destroyed us all!!
: '''Six:''' Don't even breathe.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' You don't know what you've done.
: '''Rex:''' Then, I guess we're even.
: '''Circe:''' You've never understood his power. Van Kleiss kept us safe here. His force was the only thing keeping Abysus together, and you destroyed that.
: '''Rex:''' We're done here!!
: '''Holiday:''' Rex, I think she's right. Nanites operate on a molecular level. If they bonded with Van Kleiss, breaking off his connection must have caused a splinter; resulting in a disastrous chain reaction.
: '''Rex:''' I'm ''not'' bringing him back! ''Not now, not ever!!'' Besides, you don't need Van Kleiss! You have me!! Why not go straight to the source?!
:'''Holiday:''' Rex, no!
:'''Six:''' Stand down! It's too dangerous!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Let go of me!!
: '''Holiday:''' If you keep fighting these unstable nanites, they're going to destroy you!
: '''Rex:''' And if I don't they'll destroy everybody else.
: '''Holiday:''' Not if you listen to me! I have an idea. It's a long shot. Instead of fighting the nanites, ''communicate'' with them.
: '''Six:''' You want to talk to the nanites?
: '''Holiday:''' He's done it before.
: '''Rex:''' Never anything this big.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I got you! Don't let go!! (''Rex struggles to save Circe from falling as she clings to him; tears fill her eyes''). ''Circe!!'' (''as she falls into the black goop of highly unstable nanites'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' ''Circe!'' Six! Dr. Holiday! Okay, you win. (''technopathically starts the machine''). Something's...not right.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Circe! Come on, breathe!
: '''Circe''' (''coughs weakly'')''':''' Hey.
: '''Rex:''' Hey.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Stay with us, Circe. Van Kleiss is done.
: '''Circe:''' As much as I care about you, Rex, Van Kleiss and the Pack are my family. They took me in when no one else would. I can't abandon them.
: '''Rex:''' So that's it. We're always going to be on opposite sides.
: '''Circe:''' It does keep it interesting.

===The Swarm===
:'''Rex''' (thinking'')''':''' ''Gotta stay under. Not sure I can...make it.
:(''Has visions of those most dear to him: Noah, his crush Circe, Holiday, Six, Bobo)

===Basic===
===The Plague===
===Promises, Promises===
:''Note:'' This episode depicts how young Rex had joined Providence via Six's [[w:flashback episode|memories]].
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:''[Six narrates over imagery of the Nanite Event.]''
:'''Six:'''	The names and faces may change, but no matter how you slice it, war is war. You pick a side and you don’t look back. I believe that now and I believed it then. What gets you in trouble is when you start second guessing. Forget what you’re fighting for and you’re finished.
:'''Diane Farrah:''' ''[Panicked screaming is heard in the background of an EVO attack]'' There’s another entity has emerged, this time in the heart of Paris. Authorities are vastly unprepared. Unless a decisive response to this pandemic is marshalled, the city will fall just as Kiev— ''[Diane Farrah gets snatched by the EVO’s web]''
:''[A Providence assault vehicle rams through police cars, from which Six appears and deals with the EVO.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Save some for me partner! How else am I gonna earn my paycheck?
:''[Knight fires off a weapon and the scene cuts to present day at Providence Headquarters.]''
:'''Providence Agents:''' Surprise!
:'''Rex:'''	So, the flu shots?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I needed an excuse to get you here. We’ll do them after cake. I’ll get you Van Kleiss! ''[Holiday swings at a pinata blindfolded before Rex crushes it with his smack hands]''
:'''Rex:''' Sorry, Doc, it was taking too long. And it was either that or throw some of your cake at it.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Holiday walks over to Six at a corner, passing him a drink]'' You’re looking festive.
:'''Six:''' It was an odd choice to pick today to be his birthday.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It is the anniversary of his new life here. He deserves a celebration, he changed everything.
:'''Six:''' Has he?
:'''Rex:''' ''[Rex jumps onto a counter, speaking to the agents surrounding him]'' Ha-hah! How about hitting The Petting Zoo for a little pin-the-tail on the raging “Rhinocesaurus”?
:'''Dr. Holiday and Six:''' No.
:'''Rex:'''	Every party has a pooper. And I got two.
:'''Providence Agents:''' ''[Providence Agents turn off the lights and bring Rex a birthday cake]'' Happy Birthday!
:'''Rex:'''	Dudes!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You should be celebrating too, Six! After all, you’re the one who started this. In a way, it’s your birthday too.
:''[Flashback to Six and Knight walking through the Petting Zoo during construction of Providence HQ.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Nyquist. Fortier. How’s the monkey business?
:'''Nyquist:''' Ha ha-larious, Knight.
:'''Fortier:''' Hey, for your information we probably saved the world today.
:'''White Knight:''' I, for one, feel safer already. ''[Knight states, looking at Bobo while Six walks towards his cage]''
:'''Bobo:''' So, green man. We meet again!
:'''Calan:''' They found him at the Kremlin this time. He was threatening to push the button unless someone brought him a thousand pounds of caviar.
:'''Bobo:''' Chimp’s gotta eat.
:'''Fortier:''' What about your little bug hunt? Give you much trouble?
:'''White Knight:''' Nothing we couldn’t handle.
:''[The EVO is transported in a cage overhead while Knight and Six walk through a hallway.]''
:'''White Knight:''' What? Not even a smile? Oh by the way, happy birthday. ''[Knight passes Six a gift]''
:'''Six:''' How did you know?
:'''White Knight:''' I’m your partner. Can’t keep much from me.
:'''Six:''' Thanks.
:'''White Knight:''' So what crawled up your coat?
:'''Six:''' I’m getting tired of all this fighting. Did you see how many there are now? Are we gonna cage the whole world?
:'''White Knight:''' ''[Knight turns around, placing a hand on Six's shoulder]'' We’re preserving the human race. ''[The door to the processing facility opens]'' Besides, who says we’re gonna cage them all?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' ''[Looking at the EVO]'' And to think, this was once spinning webs in someone’s garden. Doctor Holiday, prepare for disassembly. ''[Doctor Holiday nods and activates the procedure as per his instructions. Doctor Fell sports a wicked smile during the experiment before it disintegrates the EVO without a trace]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It’s the same exact data as last time, and the time before that; Doctor Fell, why aren’t we studying them in a natural setting?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' Only through molecular dissection will we find a way to expunge this threat. The committee agrees with me on this. If you do not approve, I can always find another assistant.
:'''White Knight:''' ''[Doctor Holiday leaves the facility in frustration with Doctor Fell]'' Bleeding hearts. They’ll get us all killed one day.
:''[Holiday walks down a hallway and drops several notes, one of which Six picks up.]''
:'''Six:''' EVO?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Exponentially Variegated Organism; a little more scientific than spoiled meat. That is what you hired guns call them isn’t it?
:'''Six:''' It's Six, and I don't use guns. You told Fell we could learn more by bringing them in alive. What did you mean?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The nanites are altering our DNA, but with the right type of research, there's no doubt they could be programmed to stop or reverse the process. Imagine a third option to this, kill-or-Contain protocol.
:'''Six:''' A third option?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' A cure.
:'''White Knight:''' ''[Knight and several other Providence agents run past Holiday after an alarm activates]'' Buckle up partner! Looks like we got ourselves a big one.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hopeless.
:''[Providence mercenaries arrive at Mexico to confront the giant mechanical EVO.]''
:'''White Knight:''' What are we looking at?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' ''[Speaking through a monitor]'' Fascinating. It appears to be bio-mechanical. I must have a closer look at this one.
:'''White Knight:''' One for the trophy case.
:'''Six:''' Wait. We may get more out of this one if we bring it in alive!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Fell:''' You're letting your emotions cloud your judgement, Six. With what we gleam from this boy, I could create tools that could inoculate the world.
:'''Six:''' Why risk it? He can already cure them! I've seen it!
:'''White Knight:''' So, what, we train him? Make him one of us?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Knight:''' We're supposed to be friends! He's a monster! What do you see in him!?
:'''Six:''' Hope.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''White Knight:''' Thanks for talking some sense into him, Doc. ''[Knight picks up Six’s katana and walks toward Rex]''
:'''Rex:''' What...what’s happening to me? ''[Rex pleas to Knight, who simply looks down at him before warning sirens go off and the facility begins to lockdown]''
:'''Dr. Fell:''' We’re all going to burn. ''[Fell escapes while Rex is craned away by Holiday on an upper level]''
:'''White Knight:''' No! ''[Knight looks back at Six who is slowly picking himself up while the remaining exits close off. In a last ditch effort, Knight carries Six and throws him through the final set of doors before they seal shut]''
:'''Six:'''	''[Six picks himself and slams his fist against the glass]'' Why?
:'''White Knight:''' I know what side I’m on. ''[Knight proudly states before getting consumed by a blinding white light and screaming in agony]''
:'''Six:'''	''[Grabbing a hold of Dr. Fell's collar Six shouts]'' Do something!
:'''Dr. Fell:''' Once the cycle starts it's impossible to shut down.
:'''Rex:'''	''[Contrary to Dr. Fell's statement, the light fades away and the electricity is subdued after Rex interfaces with a control panel]'' Impossible? Psh, right.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' How did you—-?
:'''Rex:''' Told it to turn off. And it did! Wait, where...where am I?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' ''[Speaking through a monitor]'' Doctor Holiday. Maybe you were right.
:'''Dr. Holiday:'''	Maybe you should start looking for another job.
:'''Bobo:''' ''[Within the processing chamber, Knight takes a few steps forward before collapsing]'' Hey marshmallow! Nice look! ''[Knight looks back up at Bobo with his signature bleached appearance]''
:''[Some time later, in his office White Knight speaks to Six through a monitor.]''
:'''White Knight:''' How’s the training?
:'''Six:'''	Slow.
:'''White Knight:''' Not all you hoped he’d be? ''[Rex and Bobo topple each other in a play fight while Knight continues to monologue in his office]'' Still, who would’ve thought the kinder, gentler approach would do such wonders for our profile. The notion of a cure has gotten Providence funding, and worldwide prestige. The committee's happy. Your new partner may just be the best thing this operation could have asked for. Funny, isn’t it? Because of you I can never leave this chamber. I’m now the only pure human left in the world. And the perfect poster boy to run this operation. I suppose I should thank you.
:'''Six:''' I promised him that we would help uncover his past; find his family.
:'''White Knight:''' Whatever keeps him on his leash. But if he shows the slightest sign of turning into thing again, it's all on you.
:''[Back at the party in the present, Noah is pinned down by Bobo with a bag on his head to Rex’s amusement.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Hoo-hoo-hoo! Oh my—hold him down, I’ll get the camera! ''[Rex runs to his room, and after a quick search he instead finds a long box on a corner shelf]''
:'''Six:''' Happy birthday. ''[Six walks into his room, officially greeting Rex]''
:'''Rex:'''	From you? For me? You gotta be kidding.
:'''Six:''' You, your work. It has made a real difference. I just—-
:'''Rex:'''	Yeah, I know I’m pretty great! But seriously get off the sap train, Six. It’s creeping me out. ''[Rex opens the gift to reveal the blade inside]'' Wow, Six! Thank you!
:'''Six:'''	It’s called a tanto. It’s the ceremonial blade of a samurai warrior.
:'''Rex:'''	Samurai? Awesome.
:'''Six:'''	''[Six unsheathes his own tanto and holds it against Rex’s]'' This is its twin.
:'''Rex:'''	''[Rex removes the cap from his tanto and squints at the symbol etched into the blade]'' Is that...writing?
:'''Six:'''	Bushido symbol of loyalty. It means whether for good or ill, our fates will follow the same path. This one stays with me.
:'''Rex:'''	Think this thing can cut through Holiday’s chocolate cake?
:'''Six:'''	''[Six raises an eyebrow]'' Anything’s possible.
:''[Rex puts the cap back on to the blade and camera cuts to outside of Providence headquarters, panning outward until screen fades to black.]''

===Badlands===
:'''Gatlocke:''' Do you like rules?
:'''Rex:''' Can't say I do.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Gatlocke:''' Feel that? It's quilted. This is the good kind. But I won't be able to really enjoy in ''until I have those nanites!''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Out of the Dark===
:''Note'': Rex's love interest and sweetheart Circe appears in a vision.

===Payback===
:''[In the realm of Abysus]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Humiliated... De-powered... All but destroyed. Hardly the new world I set out to build, is it?
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, a spy has made contact.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Well?
:'''Providence Spy:''' Everything is in place.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' And the boy?
:'''Providence Spy:''' He's here.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' ''[to his loyal followers]'' Soon our greatest enemy will be buried! Providence itself will be destroyed. And we'll have Rex to thank.
:'''Rex:''' Come on! Who's gonna know?
:'''Noah:''' Yeah. It would only be for a minute or two.
:'''Calan:''' You actually want me to let you fly the keep?
:''[Calan sighs]''
:'''Calan:''' Only until the next course change. And nothing fancy.
:'''Rex:''' All right, let's see what this baby can really do! Why, it wasn't me! Seriously!
:'''Both:''' Whoa!
:'''Providence Spies:''' Aah!
:'''White Knight:''' Calan, what's your status?
:'''Calan:''' Came from out of nowhere. We're being boarded. Scramble all jump jets. Mobilize for a counter-offensive.
:'''White Knight:''' This is a coordinated attack. Every major Providence outpost around the globe has been hit.
:'''Six:''' So far they've steered clear of headquarters. I'm on route to the keep now.
:'''Rex:''' Are they really that stupid? Attacking the keep with me on board? This should only take a minute.
:'''Noah:''' Wait up!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Find Rex. It goes without saying &quot;alive&quot; would be ideal. Take the ship.
:'''Providence Spy:''' Some kind of power surge. We're losing control of the helm!
:'''Calan:''' Find out where it's coming from. Doc, if you'll excuse me--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six?
:'''Six:''' Five minutes out. Prepare for an evac. I'm getting you off the ship.
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Noah:''' Again with the Smack Hands? You always open with that move. Change it up a little!
:'''Both:''' Whoa!
:'''Bobo:''' You see what you get? That's what happens when you interrupt my nap-- Bobo gets cranky!
:'''Rex:''' I learned that the hard way, too.
:'''Calan:''' All hands-- We've got intruders on deck four, five, and six. Get'em off our ship!
:'''Rex:''' Go!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Attention, Providence. The ship is ours.
:'''Rex:''' Ugh! Not even close, Van Kleiss!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Lay down your weapons, and your lives will be spared. Continue to resist and nothing survives.
:'''Rex:''' You've made I made some lame-o moves before, Van Kleiss, but this one-- classic.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Seems you may have run out of tricks. Oh, you had to know it would only be a matter of time. I've had a fair amount of time on my hands these days. ''[Restrains Rex with his gauntlet]''
:'''Rex:''' Aaaaah!
:'''Van Kleiss:'''  You took something very precious from me, Rex, and now I'll be returning the favor.
:'''Rex:''' If you want my monkey, you can forget it. 
:''[Van Kleiss starts draining nanites from Rex, causing him to squirm and scream in pain.]''
:''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It might come as a surprise that when you stole the nanites that gave my power, you left some of your behind-- Enough to tell me a few of what makes you tick. :''[Rex tries to summon a build, but nothing happens.]''
:'''Rex:''' Ungh!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:''[Rex gasps]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' You'll find that using your powers will be something of a challenge. The nanites that you so special belong to me now.
:'''Biowulf:''' What shall I do with him, master?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I have everything I need from him. I could care less. Secure the rest of the ship.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Come on! Do you really think throwing me out that hatch is the best way to get rid of me? Wouldn't it be more fun to throw me in a cage, tie me down in front of a laser?
:'''Biowulf:''' No!
:'''Rex:''' Aaaaaaaah! Wh-o-o-o-o-oa!
:'''Noah:''' What is he doing?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' This is no time to fool around, Rex.
:'''Rex:''' Happened to notice that ground coming up on his, doc? If you don't do something fast, I'm about to become part of it! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Ugh!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, are you okay?
:'''Rex:''' I think we may have a problem.
:'''White Knight:''' What do you mean &quot;they have the keep&quot;?! Blow it up!
:'''Six:''' We tried. The remote-destruct sequence has been disabled. Van Kleiss has complete control of it.
:'''White Knight:''' Give me some good news.
:'''Six:''' We know where it's heading. Here.
:'''Biowulf:''' This is the commanding officer. We found him attempting to destroy this ship.
:'''Calan:''' What's your game, Van Kleiss?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, a very good question-- One that depends entirely on what happens next, Captain. It seems my powers have made a slight... change.
:'''Rex:''' Well? They're gone, aren't they? Van Kleiss took all my active nanites.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Not exactly. I found this. Definitely a nanite, but it's unlike anything I've ever seen. Molecular scans seems to indicate it's some kind of control-nanite.
:'''Rex:''' But with nothing to control.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' With a large enough concentration of nanites, we might be able to jump-start it. But even with that, there's no guarantee it would replicate or even give you back the same abilities.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I hate to say it, but this one has me stumped.
:'''Rex:''' Great. Loving this.
:'''White Knight:''' If you're finished with the lost cause, we've got a bigger problem.
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, how is this possible?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' It would seem Rex's nanites have an opposite effect on me. He cured EVOs. Now I create them. Full ahead-- Ramming speed! Once we're through, we'll destroy Providence from the inside out.
:'''White Knight:''' Lock it down! I want hallways cleared and critical sections defended. They will not take this base.
:'''Rex:''' Well? What are we waiting for? Let's go stop them!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, you're in no condition to fight.
:'''Rex:''' Well, what do you expect me to do-- Hide?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Whatever it takes. That nanite inside you might be able to bring you back, but it's going to take me time to figure out how. And that's not something we have a lot of right now.
:'''Rex:''' Wow. Nice outfit.
:'''Noah:''' Got one for you, too. You get to armor up like the rest of us normals.
:'''Rex:''' Come on.
:'''Bobo:''' All right, where to?
:'''Rex:''' South Pacific.
:'''Bobo:''' That's my boy. And here I thought you'd try to pull some hero stunt. Oh, brother.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I want the White Knight. Find where he's hiding and bring him to me.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That should be everything, as long as the offsite backup holds.
:'''Six:''' Don't let it get to that.
:'''Noah:''' This is a strange place for a base.
:'''Rex:''' When I have too many nanites in me, this is where I go to offload.
:'''Bobo:''' Think of it as a nanite porta-potty.
:'''Noah:''' Thanks... For that image, Bobo. So, we just put some of these nanites in you, and we're good to go?
:'''Rex:''' No. They're inactive. Or at least stripped of their programming. Since I can't control them, I just have to hope that whatever this thing is inside me can't.
:'''Noah:''' So... What happens if it can't?
:'''Bobo:''' Let me put it this way-- The last guy who went swimmin' in that soup ended up a 50-foot freak show.
:'''White Knight:''' Listen to me carrefully, Van Kleiss.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I'd rather not.
:'''White Knight:''' Where are they?
:'''Six:''' The inner perimeter has been compromised. They're coming.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Ugh! Ungh!
:''[Skalamander roars]''
:''[Skalamander roars]''
:'''Biowulf:''' Open it.
:'''Rex:''' Okay. Bobo, set the thing to &quot;vent&quot; and go. If this doesn't work, I don't want you getting caught in the blast.
:'''Bobo:''' No.
:'''Noah:''' Forget it. Rex, at least think about his for a sec. What if it wipes your memory? What it turns you into some evil monster?
:'''Rex:''' My friends need me. There's nothing more to think about. Bobo, do it.
:'''Bobo:''' Long odds, pay big.
:''[Bobo groans]''
:'''Six:''' You've overstayed your welcome.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, here's someone who would make a nice addition to our EVO ranks.
:'''Six:''' Go ahead and try. Ugh!
:''[Six groans]''
:'''Rex:''' Trying to do my job for me, Six? Here's a thought-- When your top henchman can't even get rid of someone by throwing him out of a moving plane, time to rethink the help.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' You are determined-- I'll give you that. If it's what you prefer, I'll finish you myself.
:'''Rex:''' Maybe.
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa! Cool!
:'''Bobo:''' See? I told you it would work.
:'''Six:''' This is an unexpected surprise.
:'''Rex:''' Well, by now, you should expect the unexpected from me, Six.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ungh!
:''[Skalamander roars]''
:''[Dr. Holiday grunts]''
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Noah:''' Is that what I think it is?
:'''Bobo:''' Not anymore.
:'''Noah:''' You think there might be more of them?
:'''Bobo:''' Eh... Probably.
:''[Biowulf grunts]''
:''[Biowulf growls]''
:'''Biowulf:''' Aaaaaaah!
:'''White Knight:''' I use that electromagnet to trap stray nanites. You're lucky it's on the lowest setting. Any higher, and it would rip the nanites right out of your body.
:''[Biowulf grunts]''
:'''Biowulf:''' Then why don't you?
:'''White Knight:''' Because then I wouldn't be able to do this.
:'''Skalamander:''' No one can help you. You're all alone now.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Not exactly. We still have my sister.
:''[Skalamander grunting]''
:''[Rex and Van Kleiss grunts]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Aaaaah!
:'''Rex:''' No way!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ungh!
:'''Rex:''' Once again, epic fail. I'll take my nanites back now.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh!
:'''Noah:''' Rex, wait!
:'''Bobo:''' Van Kleiss left behind a few presents.
:'''Rex:''' No time to look everywhere. I'm shutting everything down.
:'''Noah:''' You can do that?
:'''Rex:''' Don't know. Never tried. Anything else? No?
:'''Calan:''' Whew! I never want to do that again. No, sir.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Amazing.
:'''Rex:''' Why, thank you.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I was talking about the nanites. That was a risky move, Rex, but it worked. As far as I can tell, you're back to your old self.
:'''Rex:''' I don't know. Something feels different. That new build-- I think I can do even more. It's like I can see the blueprints. I just need to figure out how to put it all together.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' White Knight in person. Never thought I'd see the day.
:'''White Knight:''' Well, don't get used to it. We found all the explosives. The base and the keep will need extensive repairs. This was not our finest hour.
:'''Rex:''' What are you talking about? We kicked butt! So what if Van Kleiss is back and more powerful than ever? So am I! If he wants a nanite war, let him bring it!
:''[White Knight laughs]''
:'''White Knight:''' It's good to have your back, Rex.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You know, I think he actually means it.
:'''Rex:''' Sure he does. So, tell me something, guys-- What's next?

==Season Two (2011)==
===Rampage===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' I'll give you the recap. Thanks to these microscopic machines called nanites, I can build cool gear out of my body. I'm what's called an EVO. But most evo's aren't lucky like me. They usually look like this. ''[laughing]'' I know what you're thinking. And they smell bad, too. There's one other thing I can do that makes me even more special. Some EVOs, I can cure. That's why I work for Providence. We're the people you call when an evo is tearing up your lawn or attacking a city. And the worst of them is this guy... Van Kleiss. The last time we fought, things got a little out of hand. I'll admit it... we pretty much got our tails handed to us. He steals the key, wrecks headquarters, hijacks my nanite to get back the powers I took away from him. And now he can actually make people into EVOs. Then, to top it off, he has his dog boy Biowulf throw me, overboard at 6,000 feet. Not that anyone's keeping score. Sure, Van Kleiss may be back, but so am I. So what if he can make EVOs? I can still cure them. He may have new powers, but guess what... I do, too. Ever since my powers came back, I've got the ability to make amazing new machines. Now I just have to figure out how to build more.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' If you're trying to check up on me, Six, the answer's still a big fat... ''[imitates buzzer]'' I can't figure out how to make this new build.
:'''Six:''' It might take some time, but you'll get it.
:'''Rex:''' And meanwhile, Van Kleiss is out there doing who knows what. I wish they'd hurry up and get the H.Q. Rebuilt. You're not still living out of your jump jet like some ninja hobo, are you?
:'''Six:''' My temporary accommodations are perfectly adequate.
:'''Rex:''' Yep. Still living in the jet. ''[Groans]'' I hate being kicked out of our house. Although, as long as they're building stuff, I need a hot tub.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;I was wondering when you and your hair would show up again, Van Kleiss.&quot;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Back to your old self again, I see. And how are those new abilities developing?&quot;
:'''Rex:''' Just fine. Thanks for asking.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Don't you have anything better to do with your life then come after me all the time?&quot;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' &quot;Funny you should ask.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Doc? How are those biometrics looking now?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Give it a try.
:'''Rex:''' Ah, yeah! It's about time! Machines work. I just hope the important part does.
:'''Noah:''' What just happened?
:'''Rex:''' Do you remember anything?
:'''Noah:''' It all kind of hazy. I mostly remember the feeling of... Fun. And I remember you punching me in the face.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah. Sorry about that. I thought you were trying to eat me. Come on. We've got a rat to catch. Why so happy? Is this the part where breach shows up and rescues you?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Actually, no. This is the part where she takes your inadequately guarded fuel core.
:'''Six:''' Six to post, what's your status? Six to post.
:'''Rex:''' Another decoy?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I should share some of the credit with your friend over here. He played the part to perfection.
:'''Noah:''' Gee, thanks.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, this would be the part where Breach shows up.
:'''Noah:''' I can't believe I did all this. Sounds like I had the time of my life.
:'''Rex:''' ''[laughing]'' It almost became your life. Sorry about that.
:'''Noah:''' Are you kidding? Just knowing I was a rampaging evo is cool. I wish I could have remembered at least some of it.
:'''Rex:''' It's probably all over the news if you want a replay... At least until you stepped on the news van.
:'''Noah:''' Well... ''[Exhales sharply]'' Guess it's back to quadratic equations.
:'''Rex:''' I have no idea what those are. I've got somewhere I need to be. See you later. I know. I'm not supposed to be here. I don't care if it's a construction zone. I'm moving back.
:'''Six:''' It's all right. Turns out you're not the only one who feels that way. You'll get used to the cold showers. Food, you're on your own. From the top?
:'''Rex:''' From the top.
:'''Six:''' What were you trying to build, anyway?
:'''Rex:''' A water jet. Oh, by the way, I need a new cellphone.
:'''Six:''' Yes?
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' It's after my glasses again.
:'''Six:''' Glasses?
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' This time I am serious. Now, when are you going to send someone out here?
:'''Six:''' Ma'am, I'm...
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' Do you even work for Providence?
:'''Six:''' Yes, I work for Providence.
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' What kind of a flimflam outfit is this?
:'''Six:''' How did you get this number?

===Wasteland===
===Tough Love===

===The Lost Weekend===
:'''Kenwyn:''' What did you to Skwydd?
:'''Mouse:''' Just shedding a light light on how dangerous his kind can be.
:'''Rex:''' By juicing his powers? What were you thinking?
:'''Mouse:''' Most inorganic material explodes when given that kind of molecular jolt, but not not nanites. They convert the energy into power that amplifies an E.V.O.'s abilities to tremendously uncontrollable levels.

===Star-Crossed===

===Alliance===
:'''Rex:''' ''[to himself]'' And he brought his Pack flunkies. Biowulf, Skalamander, Breach. Circe? Gotta hurry. Their headed straight for... someplace else. Gonna find out where.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Holiday:''' Rex why aren't you fixing that shield regulator?
:'''Rex:''' Hint. You may remember him from such schemes as destroying Providence headquarters, and trying to take over the entire Earth.
:'''Holiday:''' Van Kliess, in there? You're right. You should investigate after you fix the shield.
:'''Rex:''' Then it might be too late.
:'''Holiday:''' She's there, isn't she?
:'''Rex:''' Who? Breach? Yeah, but...
:'''Holiday:''' A quick recon and that's it.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Intriguing. An entire urban branch of EVO. development.
:'''Biowulf:''' This place is a waste of our time.
:'''Circe:''' Van Kleiss knows what he's doing. It's not your place to question.
:'''Biowulf:''' Question?! You dare accuse me of disloyalty?!
:'''Circe:''' Sorry. Get a grip!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' You're right, you know. We should be down there with him. What is he up to anyway?
:'''Biowulf:''' I do not know.
:'''Circe:''' You don't know? I thought he trusted you with everything.
:'''Biowulf:''' Of course he does! He just--
:'''Rex:''' Hey! Easy on the stealth suit, which apparently, isn't so stealthy.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''NoFace:''' Invaders have come before. They brought only pain.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' It is a pain we both share. The same Providence outsides attacked my lands, destroyed my army.
:'''NoFace:''' There was one who tormented us, humiliated us. The grower of machines.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ah, Rex. Another thorn we share. My proposal is simple: You control a formidable legion. I, in turn, can provide the escape and the vengeance you seek. I can be your liberator. You can be my general. Together we will crush our enemies, starting with the one you hate most. Now are we--
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, I have a report.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' ''[irritated]'' This is a private conversation. Can't you handle the sightest detail without bothering me?
:'''Biowulf:''' Of course, Master. It was nothing.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Here comes the moment when our brave hero sweeps the girl of her feet! Literally!
:'''Biowulf:''' Don't let him.
:'''Circe:''' Hey! Let--
:'''Rex:''' ''[flies off with Circe in his arms]''' See you around, henchie!
:'''Biowulf:''' ''[to Skalamander]''  Follow them.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' Down, now!
:'''Rex:''' Not till we hear each other out!
:'''Circe:''' Sure! I'll go first. 
:''[Breaks the Bogie Pack with a hypersonic burst, causing them to fall]''
:'''Rex:''' Oh, great. Way to go, Circe.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' ''[to himself]'' Our hero pursues the girl of his dreams, heedless of her attempts to break his heart... along with the rest of him. Circe, just one minute, okay? Look-No powers!
:'''Circe:''' One minute! But if this is about leaving the Pack--
:'''Rex:''' Please. I'm way past that. There are bigger things going here than who you hang out with.
:'''Circe:''' Fifty seconds!
:'''Rex:''' I wasn't sent here to spy on you. I'm here to stop these things from ever getting out.
:'''Circe:''' Forty! Why are you telling me this? You know who I am!
:'''Rex:''' You've seen the things that live here. Whatever deal you think Van Kleiss is making, it's going to turn out bad for everyone.
:'''Circe:''' Thirty seconds!
:'''Rex:''' I do know who you are, Circe. Just for once think for yourself. Maybe your perfect leader could actually be wrong, maybe even a bit crazy, nuts, certifiably insane!
: '''Circe:''' Shut up! Twenty! Talk about blinded. Did you ever wonder why Van Kleiss is so interested in you?
:'''Rex:''' Oh, I don't know. Maybe he wants me dead?
:'''Circe:''' Not anymore. Something has changed, Rex. Ever since you got your powers back, I hear him talking. Saying you have something that's the key to everything. For whatever reason, he needs you alive. I know it, Rex. He'd never let you be killed.
:'''Rex:''' Never, huh?
:'''Circe:''' Time's up! 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Now this looks like a party.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Rex, you never cease to amaze me.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''No-Face:''' Defiler! Give him to us!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now do you believe I can deliver what I say? Will yoh agree to my leadership?
:'''No-Face:''' We agree to it! Give him to us! Now! Now! Now!
:'''Circe:''' ''[very shocked]''' Van Kleiss, I didn't bring Rex here so that you could-- He'll kill him!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Never forget how I found you, Circe. What you were... before. He's yours. 
:''[Tears well up in Circe's eyes; thoroughly horrified that her master would calmly allow Rex's life to be put at risk]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' ''[weakly]''' Is this what you wanted? 
:''[Collapses from his inquiries, causing Circe to open her eyes]''
:'''Circe''' ''[tearful, pleading]'': Stop this! Please! You need him alive!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Alive, yes. Heart pumping, lungs breathing, but his mind? The less there's left of that, the better. Circe, I warn you: Lift so much as a finger to help him, and you're finished!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' You, Biowulf, even me. We're all just means to an end for him. He doesn't really care for any of us.
:'''Rex:''' So you finally figured that out. Better late than never, I guess.
:'''Circe:''' It's not too late! Not if I have anything to say about it!
:''[Extends her fleshly and grotesque EVOs mouth]''
:'''Bobo:''' Whoa! Whoa! There are some of us who might not like the sound of whatever you're about to do!
:'''Circe:''' I'll adjust the frequency to exclude friendly EVOs.
:'''Bobo:''' Does that include me?
:'''Circe:''' For now. 
:''[Uses her melodious, hypnotic singing to call back the EVOs escaping]''
:'''Rex:''' I thought you said you could filter it.
:'''Circe:''' It's not an exact science. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' Van Kleiss.
:'''Rex:''' Breach'll get him out... eventually. But right now he's in there, you're out here. You don't have a better opportunity to consider your options.
:''[Notice the two of them holding hands and let go, blushing]''
:'''Bobo:''' What is it stealing from our own people that's so dang satisfying?
:'''Circe:''' You forget to remove the tracker. I'm not going to Providence.
:'''Rex:''' Doesn't matter where you go. All that matters is that you want to go there. That said. I hear Hong Kong's nice this time of year.

===Robo Bobo===
===Divide By Six===
:'''One''': ''[Speaking through Rex]'' Six.
:'''Six''': One?
:'''One''': You left this place, quit life as a mercenary and so rarely returned to visit.
:'''Six''': I did what I felt was right, I never meant to dishonor.
:'''One''': So rarely, that I never had time to tell you how proud you've made me.
:'''Six''': ''[Takes off his glasses for the first time in the series]'' We're going to help you. We're going to take you home.
:'''One''': But Six, I  am home. ''[Rex falls unconscious while One's body starts changing. Eventually his body dissolves and fertilizes the entire island to its former splendor]''
: '''Six:''' He's still One. He's just one with everything.
===Mixed Signals===
: '''Rex:''' Whoa, big guy! Someone needs to ease off on the cheeseburgers.
: '''Six:''' Skip the insults. Start the containment.
: '''Rex:''' Like its feelings are going to get hurt. One bad and ugly going down. What?
: '''Six:''' Rex? Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Cool!
: '''Six:''' You want to explain this?
: '''Rex:''' I don't know. It's like some weird vision of this thing filled my head, then built itself out of me. Maybe the vision came from Blobbo. Maybe it's trying to talk to me. Come on, big boy. Send me some more pictures. What's on your mind?
: '''Six:''' Groceries. That's what's on its mind.
: '''Rex:''' I'm skipping. I'm over it. That vision must have been a fluke.
: '''Six:''' All right, then. We're going with a two-prong attack. Use caution. This kind of EVO might be a splitter. Rex! Snap out of it!
: '''Rex:''' Whoa! Whoa! Ha! I wasn't supposed to do that, right?
: '''Six:''' Rex, I want you back at HQ.
: '''Rex:''' But I feel okay now. And we've got, um-- Two blobs to put down.
: '''Six:''' Now!
: '''Holiday:''' No trace of any recent electrochemical or DNA abnormalities. Everything reads normal.
: '''Rex:''' But it's like the visions were being transmitted, and I was seeing it from a nanite point of view.
: '''Holiday:''' I can't track it, Rex. There's no sign of signal displacement or a nano disturbance. Maybe we should consider the possibility that this is psychological.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Pizza.
: '''Holiday:''' I think he's having another vision.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Of lunch?
: '''Rex:''' With pineapple and salmon.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Blech! He is nuts.
: '''Holiday:''' Aside from a strange choice in pizza toppings, all readings are normal. I can't explain it.
: '''Rex:''' Well, if my nanites are trying to get me to build something, maybe we should give them what they want.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Whatever it is, I'm not eating it. Is that my electric toothbrush?
: '''Rex:''' It better not be the one I've been using.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Oh.
: '''Rex:''' This is what I'm seeing in my head. As stupid as it looks. It's like someone or something is sending me instructions to build some big device.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Or build a pizza with pineapple and salmon.
: '''Rex:''' Okay. I'm not sure about that vision.
: '''Holiday:''' Is that my hairdryer?
: '''Rex:''' I just need to figure out what it does. Maybe it's a time machine. Or-- Or alien technology!
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Maybe it's just a big pile of junk. Or a way to order a really awful pizza.
: '''Contraption Voice:''' Target acquired.
: '''Holiday:''' Rex!
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Wake up!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Provindece Soldier #1:''' Hey, where do you think you're going? We've got a security breach. Front floor.
: '''Providence Soldier #2:''' Lockdown protocols enabled. All hands report to duty station. Security speed, take position.
: '''Rex:''' Sorry, guys. I might be a little... late.
: '''Caesar:''' Case compression. Release.
: '''Rex:''' Figures I'd build a machine with a serious attitude problem.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[taking off his helmet and turns to Rex]'' Rex, is that you?
: '''Rex:''' Who’s asking?
: '''Caesar:''' It’s me, Caesar, your brother! Mijo! ''[Hugs Rex]'' You're alive and... older. ''[Rex is dumbfounded]'' Uh. Atomic clock was right... ''[spanish accent]'' Es una problema grande.
: '''Rex:''' Uh, yeah. ''[Pushes Caesar]'' It is a big problem.
: '''Caesar:''' What is this place? Who are you people? ''[to Rex]'' I'm getting you out of here!
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Sorry, amigo. Put your hands up. Or don't. I got a clear shot either way.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[is looking at Bobo]'' A talking chimp?
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Don't bother. I've heard all the jokes.
: '''Caesar:''' Have they hurt you? Are you okay? Stand aside.
: '''Rex:''' Hello? Do I get a say in this?
: '''Holiday:''' If you're part of some elaborate plan to kidnap Rex, then you failed.
: '''Caesar:''' Listen, bonita, you don't wanna make me use this.
: '''Rex:''' ''[gets in between them]'' Enough! Normally around here when someone barges in talking crazy, they get around into the deck plates by my giant fists. But you seem legit. I'm going with him.
: '''Holiday:''' Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Okay, brother. Lead the way. So if you are my brother, where have you been all this time?
: '''Caesar:''' I'll explain later when we're safe.
: '''Rex:''' Uh, this is Providence. We are safe. Usually.
: '''Caesar:''' Providence? Never heard of it. To be honest, the last five years has been a bit of a blur.
: '''Rex:''' I want to believe you, but I'm gonna need some proof.
: '''Caesar:''' Your name is Rex Salazar. Our parents are Violetta and Raphael. The last time I saw you was at the Applied Nanite Research Lab in Abysus; right before those fools triggered a replication cycle.
: '''Rex:''' And I have total amnesia so, for all I know, that could be completely bogus.
: '''Caesar:''' There's a scar on the back of your left knee you got when you were seven, riding the gantry arm in the reactor annex.
: '''Rex:''' Hmm. I always wondered how I got that.
:''[they go out and Rex notices Caesar Salazar's pod laboratory]''
: '''Rex:''' Whoa. Nice wheels.
: '''Six:''' ''[Comes out and unsheathed his swords]'' Don't even think about it.
: ''[Caesar is about to attack but Rex stops him]''
: '''Rex:''' It's okay. Six isn't going to hurt you. Right, Six? You're comming in a little late on this, but, uh, this is Caesar, my brother, and he wants to get me out of here. So, let's just let my brother have his way and see where this all goes. Wherever you plan on going, they're going to follow us. You know that, right?
: '''Caesar:''' They can try.
: '''Rex:''' I don't know. Providence ship are pretty fast.
: '''Six:''' Track Rex's bio signature and find out who that guy really is.
: '''Rex:''' You ain't kidding. This thing moves fast. A-are we in the arctic?
: '''Caesar:''' How do you think I got to your location so quickly once the locator signaled me?
: '''Rex:''' Locator? You sent me the schematics to build that thing? It tried to crush me like a bug!
: '''Caesar:''' Sorry, mijo. I wasn't really trying to hurt. ''[scans Rex's body]'' I was looking for what's hiding inside of you. ''[showing Rex the result]'' The Omega One Nanite.
: '''Rex:''' That thing? Holiday discovered it before. We had no idea what it was.
: '''Caesar:''' I sent signal instructions for the Omega One to track and contain. But since the nanite has integrated into your DNA, you became the conduit for building the machine. What I don't get is how the Omega One got inside of you. Rylander was supposed to have that under lock and key.
: '''Rex:''' Rylander? He's the one who put it inside me.
: '''Caesar:''' Why would he do a thing like that? I'm really gonna have to let old fool have it when I see him.
: '''Rex:''' Not possible-- Courtesy of Van Kleiss.
: '''Caesar:''' Van Kleiss?! What does that third-rate lab hack have to do with this?
: '''Rex:''' What? I guess I’m not the only one who needs an update. Where have you been?
: '''Caesar:''' It's a long story-- actually, short by my clock. A splinter group had formed at the lab. They had other ideas about how the nanites would be used. We tried to stop them, and you were hurt. The only way to save your life was an infusion of nanites. It was risky, but it worked. We thought that'd be enough to stop the others, make them see the right path. But we were wrong. Mom and Dad were in the reactor. As for me, I managed to escape in my lab. But the shock wave, the same shock wave that probably blanked your memory.... also interfered with engine that powers this pod. I was stuck in sub-light drive.
: '''Rex:''' How long?
: '''Caesar:''' Fifteen minutes. That's how long it took me to reboot the system. But at the speed I was going, it was 5 years of your time. I knew there was an accident, but I had no idea how bad. My nanite sensors were off the charts. My 1st priority was to insure the OM-1 was safe. That was our promise. And here we are. So, what have I missed these past five years?
: '''Rex:''' Providence? We need to talk. They can wait.
: '''Caesar:''' So let me understand, there are EVOs and Van Kleiss claimed as their leader?
: '''Rex:''' Well, not for all of them, yet. I want to know about me, about our parents.
: '''Caesar:''' They were scientists. We lived all over the world. Things settled down when you came along. That was in Geneva.
: '''Rex:''' Wait a second. Are you saying I'm Swiss?
: ''Caesar:'' Not really. Mother was born in Mexico City. Father in Buenos Aires.
: '''Rex:''' And they're really... gone? ''[Caesar slowly nods sadly]''
: '''Rex:''' Um, where exactly did this ship take us?
: '''Caesar:''' What do you know?We're back at the original lab site.
: '''Rex:''' You mean the one in Abysus?
: '''Caesar:''' Is that a problem?
: '''Rex:''' I'd say just a small one. We should go, like now.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[typing]'' Hmm... Must be low on charge.  ''[walks out the door]'' We may be stuck, but on the bright side, I can take a look at some of these variegated organisms. ''[goes out]''
: '''Rex:''' Caesar! Wait!
: ''[outside and observing the EVOs]''
: '''Caesar:''' Fascinating. We theorized mutations might occur but never anything this random.
: ''[Rex hits the EVO before they got near Caesar]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Sorry, bro, but these guys--
: ''[Rex hits another EVO]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Usually don't sit still for questions.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[seeing Rex's new build]'' Hmm... That's new.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Guess I've learned a--
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' A few tricks. But they still won't be enough if Van Kleiss shows up with all his goons. Six!
: '''Six:'''We're locked onto you. The keep is already on its way.
: '''Rex:''' Your ship may be out of juice, but I'm not. Hop on. I can get us out of here.
: '''Caesar:''' I won't leave my lab, and you definitely don't want Van Kleiss getting his hands on some of the things in here. I'll try to reroute the capacitors to an alternate power source.
: '''Caesar:''' Oh, you wanna see a photo of you, me, and papi? Maybe later.
: '''Rex:''' You're a little off, aren't you, Caesar? 
: '''Biowulf:''' What was that machine it flew off with?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' A laboratory. One I thought I'd never see again. It seems an old friend has returned-Caesar.
: '''Rex:''' Providence isn't so bad now, eh, hermano?
: '''Caesar:''' Is this a Grinnell? They always made good consoles, except for the random power surges.
: '''Six:''' Well?
: '''Rex:''' Everything's cool. He's a little kooky, but I'm pretty sure he's my brother.
: '''Six:''' Glad to hear it. Now I need you back. We still have some unfinished business.
: '''Rex:''' Got to get back to work.
: '''Caesar:''' My little brother, the hero. I remember when you just wanted to be a musician.
: '''Rex:''' Guitar? No, wait drums.
: '''Caesar:''' Accordion.
: '''Rex:''' You got to be kidding me!
: '''Six:''' As I recall, you started it.
: '''Rex:''' Huh?
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Six:''' The EVO is dividing faster than we can contain it. The city is being evacuated.
: '''Caesar:''' Hmm. Excuse me, admiral. I need you to take me down there immediately. Afraid I'll have to insist.
: '''Six:''' Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Are you crazy?!
: '''Caesar:''' Depends on who you ask. I had something in my lab that I thought could help.
: '''Six:''' Help? You're not even supposed to be outside the keep.
: '''Rex:''' WHOO-HOO! Way to go, bro! First day on the job, and you already got a save!
: '''Six:''' Job?
: '''Rex:''' Oh, come on, admit it, Six. He just saved our chicharrones.
: ''[Caesar laughs]''
: '''Rex:''' What? What's so funny?
: '''Caesar:''' You always make me laugh when you try to speak Spanish.
: '''Holiday:''' We've pulled his records, and I've confirmes his DNA. It seems Rex really does have a brother.
: '''White Knight:''' If everything I've read about him is true, he could be an incredible asset to Providence.
: '''Six:''' Or a major liability.
: '''White Knight:''' All the more reason to keep him with us. Give him whatever he needs.
: '''Holiday:''' White's right, Six. He knows more about nanites than anyone on the planet. He helped invent them.
: '''Six:''' My point exactly. He's settling in?
: '''Rex:''' I guess so. Caesar's a little strange. Hard to believe he's actually my brother.
: '''Six:''' I'm happy for you, Rex. You always said you wanted to find your family.
: '''Rex:''' Thanks, but... You know that? I already did. Caesar may be my brother, but you, Holiday, Bobo, you're who I have a connection with.
: '''Bobo:''' Aww, now, see, I'm getting all misty.
: '''Caesar:''' There you are. Hmm. Nice view. Say, mijo, you think your cafeteria could whip up a pizza with pineapple and salmon? I've been craving one for days.
: '''Bobo:''' Connection, huh?

===Outpost===
:'''Valentina:''' Ugh! We were returning them to their natural habitat! What Providence does is wrong and against the natural order of things! You're a traitor to your own kind.
:'''Rex:''' That's creature's job is to ''exterminate'' mankind! It wanted to kill you!

===Haunted===
===Moonlighting===
===Without a Paddle===

===Written in Sand===
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, I need an uptade.
:'''Rex''': I'm right at the edge. Anything still alive in there is trying to get away from the sandstorm.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': It's not the storm they're running from. The nanites inside them are forcing the animals away. It's creating a kind of nanite-free zone.
:'''Rex''': Ha! We should call White Knight. Maybe he'll move here and leave us all alone.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': It's no laughing matter, Rex. It could be the most significant development since the original nanite event.
:'''Rex''': Yeah, yeah. Possible cures save the world-- Got it. I'll check it out.
:'''Bobo''': Hey, doc. You may wanna get a load of this over here.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Negative. The storm is moving in too fast. Just place a sensor and pack it in.
:'''Rex''': Hey. No. It couldn't be. Rex to base. We got trouble of the egomaniacal EVO kind.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Van Kleiss is here? Why am I not surprised?
:'''Rex''': I think the real question is, if everything else is in such a race to get out, why is he going on? 
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, wait.
:'''Rex''': Don't worry, doc. It's me. What could possibly happen?
:'''Skalamander''': RARGH! PTUH! They're nothing but dirt.
:'''Biowulf''': My senses-- Useless in all this sand.
:'''Van Kleiss''': This phenomenon deserves my personal attention. What we seek is nearby. I can feel it pushing against me.
:'''Rex''': ''[Rex emerges from the sand storm]'' Yeah?
:''[Skalamander grunts]''
:'''Rex''': ''[Rex kicks Skalamander]'' How about kicking against you, too?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Rex! You're not welcome here.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': Now, that hurt my feelings!
:''[Rex groaning]''
:''[Skalamander pins him to the sand, causing him to groan in pain]''
:''[Skalamander laughs]''
:'''Rex''': Aaah! Whoa!
:'''Van Kleiss''': If I never see your face again, It will be too soon!
:'''Rex''': Yeah? The feeling's-- Whoa! Mutual!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex? Rex, do you read me?
:''[Bobo coughing]''
:'''Bobo''': Okay, we gotta get outta here. I got sand in places I didn't even know I had places.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, if you can hear me, we're retreating to the safe zone. Rendezvous with us there.
:'''Rex''': AAAAH! WHOA-OHHHHHHH!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex coughs]''
:'''Rex''': Okay, Kleiss-- Go time! No EVO allies, just you and-- Whoa! Uh, sorry, buddy. Didn't mean to bring you along for the ride.
:'''Van Kleiss''': I don't need my EVO allies, when I can simply make more.
:'''Rex''': Don't get me wrong-- I love punching stuff. But anything you can do, I can undo better! We can do this all day. Or you can just spill it.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': Why are you causing this nanite-free zone?
:'''Van Kleiss''': How convenient it must be to make me the root of all evil. I'm not causing it. I've come to discover the source and destroy it.
:'''Rex''': This could be the cure to nanites.
:'''Van Kleiss''': And I live off nanites. What Providence calls a cure, I call death.
:'''Rex''': Really? Haven't we moved past this?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Huh?
:''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
:''[After Van Kleiss creates a scorpion EVO to attack Rex, it attacks him instead.]''
:'''Rex''': That is the funniest thing I have ever seen! Hang on-- I got to get this on video. ''[Takes out cell phone and starts recording Van Kleiss dodging the scorpion EVO.]''
:''[Van Kleiss panting]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Something's wrong. I should be controlling this creature.
:'''Rex''': Stinks to be you. Huh? You ruined my shot!
:'''Van Kleiss''': I believe we've found something more interesting.
:'''Rex''': You like to point out the obvious, don't you?
:'''Bobo''': Don't get me wrong-- I love the kid, but if we don't pull stakes now, we'll be combing dust outta all sorts of places for years.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Too late. Hold on to everything that's not tied down. This is going to be a bumpy... ride.
:'''Six''': Holiday? I trust you're all right?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': I'm fine, Six. But Rex is still out there-- With Van Kleiss. I can't reach him.
:'''Six''': We'll prep a rescue party. Prepare to come aboard.
:'''Rex''': Hey!
:'''Van Kleiss''': This is not simply a nanite-free zone. Something is stealing the nanites from our bodies. If we linger here too long, we may both find ourselves defenseless against the other.
:'''Rex''': Well, then, we'd better blow this joint. And when I say &quot;we&quot; I mean &quot;me&quot;.
:''[Rex tries to escape and fails]''
:'''Rex''': AAAAAAAAH!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': If either of us is to escape this place, we will have to work together.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': What exactly are you suggesting?
:'''Van Kleiss''': A temporary truce.
:'''Rex''': An extremely temporary truce.
:'''Van Kleiss''': We'll work our way to the center of the nanite storm.
:'''Rex''': No, we work our way out of the nanite storm and get Providence in here to figure out what's happening.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Providence? They can't be trusted.
:'''Rex''': Them? Didn't you try to take over New York? And Europe? And the world?
:'''Van Kleiss''': You need to listen to me, Rex. Without a powers, you're nothing but a child.
:'''Rex''': Oh, yeah? Truce over! Okay. This is awkward. Hey, is it just me, or are you getting really dust?
:'''Van Kleiss''': It's happening faster than I thought.
:'''Rex''': What's happening faster? If you know something, you'd better spit it out, or-- Whoa! It all looks fossilized. Like it's made completely out of... sand.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Not only are there no nanites here, this is pure silicone. There are no other elements-- No carbon, calcium, hydrogen. It appears that this zone not only destroys nanites, but is--
:'''Rex''': Squeezing the life from the Earth. This isn't sand. This is me!
:''[Rex whimpering]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': These glyphs-- There's something familiar about them. Sumatran? Mesopotamian?
:'''Rex''': Less geeking, more escaping!
:'''Van Kleiss''': We need to find the epicenter of this maze. These glyphs may hold the answer.
:'''Rex''': Only if one says &quot;exit sign.&quot;
:'''Van Kleiss''': No need to panic, Rex. We have at least twenty minutes before fossilization-- Give or take.
:'''Rex''': &quot;Don't panic&quot;-- Says the guy who used to be dirt.
:''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
:'''Rex''': We're turning into walking litter boxes, and you're checking out caveman graffiti? No wonder I'm always kicking your butt.
:'''Van Kleiss''': You don't have an investigative bone in your body, do you? So strongheaded-- Just like your mother. ''[Rex is silent]'' No, you don't like that, do you-- That I know more about you than you do?
:'''Rex''': Skip the head games. Isn't exactly a good time.
:'''Van Kleiss''': No, but perhaps it is time for some truth. We may perish down here, Rex. Ask me anything you want about the past, and I'll answer it.
:'''Rex''': ''[looks at his own slowly fossilizing body]'' Sell it somewhere else. I'm not buying.
:''[walks away]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Oh, so the great and powerful Providence has finally come through on their promise to help you remember your past.
:'''Rex''': Something better-- Someone who was actually there at the Nanite Event.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Aha. Your brother, Caesar.
:''[Van Kleiss chuckles evilly]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': I've been following you both very closely since his... miraculous reappearance. Even if you don't want to hear what I have to say, this one's for free. Do not place your trust in Caesar. He's not the man you believe him to be.
:'''Rex''': ''[creates his BFS and holds it at Van Kleiss' throat]'' What are you getting at?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Oh, no, no. That's not how this works. It isn't my turn. Quid pro quo, Rex. If you want to know more-- Why don't we start with something simple? Rylander's Omega Nanite. I know it's inside you.
:'''White Knight''': Status uptade?
:'''Six''': Still no fix on Rex. Scanners can't cut through the storm, so we're moving in to stage a recon.
:'''White Knight''': I will not risk everyone on board that ship for one agent. Not even that agent.
:''[Holiday subtly ends the call. Then to Six]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Whoops. Guess the satellite feed went down. Nasty sand.
:''[Six smirks]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Caesar? Wanted you to know we haven’t found him yet.
:'''Caesar''': Found who?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex.
:'''Caesar''': Right. Ah. Sorry. That was, uh, fifteen minutes ago. I've done about five hundred task since then. Try calibrating the keep's sensors to search for traces of Selenium. It's something Rex naturally gives off, like dandruff.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': I-- Really? Hmm. Okay, thanks.
:'''Van Kleiss''': So what you're saying is, the motor runs off of gravity and the only exhausts are atoms of selenium.
:'''Rex''': Now you. Squid Pro... Whatever. The nanites, the Event. What started all this?
:'''Van Kleiss''': He didn't tell you? I'm not surprised. It was Caesar.
:''[Rex pushes Van Kleiss to nearest wall and take out his BFS once again]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Wasteful, Rex.
:'''Rex''': You're lying!
:'''Van Kleiss''': Hardly. Your brother is responsible for the most significant catastrophe in human history. You have to admit that as brilliant as Caesar is, he's... not quite right. Am I telling you something that you haven't already noticed?
:''[Rex groans]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': HAAAH!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Van Kleiss coughing]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': You seem to have awoken some sort of defense mechanism.
:'''Rex''': What are they defending? Rocks?
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Before we're totally devoid of nanites, we need to end this now-- Together.
:'''Rex''': Back to back!
:'''Van Kleiss''': What?
:'''Rex''': Haven't you ever read a comic book? Back to back! No way. These markings-- They're not hieroglyphics. They're circuit boards. This whole cave, this valley-- It's one giant circuit board. These are data conduits-- Ms. Hubs!
:'''Van Kleiss''': You're right. These spirals are solid-state storage-- The standard design for a firewall in a CPU.
:'''Rex''': Did you just say I'm right? Now that I know what we're dealing with, it's a simple matter of-- Hacking in. This is malo-- Muy malo. Van Kleiss, meet the psycho computer who calls herself--
:'''Van Kleiss''': Zag-RS?
:'''Rex''': How do you know that? ''[Zag-RS notices them and attacks them]'' You know Zag-RS? How?
:'''Van Kleiss''': She was designed as a decontamination program at the original nanite laboratory. Her task was to destroy any rogue nanites that escaped from the holding tanks.
:'''Rex''': She did a great job. Whoever designed her should be taken out and beaten with a tendril.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Caesar designed her.
:'''Rex''': I'm gonna have to have a chat with my brother when this is over.
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Focus, you fool. If we're to survive this, we have to use whatever nanites we have left to shut her down.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': No problemo! Ah, come on! Stay up! Show off!
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': Well, this bites.
:''[Rex straining]''
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': Didn't I leave you in orbit? Shouldn't you have burned up in re-entry or something?
:'''Zag-RS''': Re-entry resulted in a hard desert landing. This unit faced complete system failure. Salvation came from integration with the host space station power cell, where new initiatives were established.
:'''Rex''': Turning the world into a sandbox?
:'''Zag-RS''': Correct. The prevention of organic infection by elimination of organic matter and securing the Earth core system. Soon, this world will function without flaw.
:'''Rex''': Van Kleiss! Change of plan! While, I've got Zaggy occupied, you go and warn Providence before it's too late!
:'''Van Kleiss''': There's no time. Her strength is growing exponentially. To achieve victory, you must trust me.
:'''Rex''': Trust you?! That's comedy gold! Even if I was that big of a doof, neither one of us had enough power to fight back!
:'''Van Kleiss''': That's not entirely true.
:'''Rex''': Huh?
:'''Van Kleiss''': I've not been completely honest with you.
:'''Rex''': Stunned-- Really.
:'''Van Kleiss''': The Omega Nanite within you has a self-replicating program. You can create your own nanites.
:'''Rex''': What?! Why didn't you tell me!
:'''Van Kleiss''': A calculated emission.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': No way.
:'''Van Kleiss''': There-- That is the heart of Zag-RS. Strike while you can!
:'''Rex''': Oh, yeah! Now we're talking! Normally, I don't fight girls, but this time I'll make... A big... giant... robot exception!
:'''Dr. Holiday''': I found him, Six-- twenty kilometers northeast. There's a huge spike in trace selenium.
:'''Six''': Charge all weapons.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': The storm's starting to break. But please don't crash.
:'''Rex''': YAAAH!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': That's not fair! It worked in the movie!
:''[Rex whimpers]''
:''[Rex groaning]''
:'''Rex''': AAAH!
:'''Zag-RS''': You have miscalculated, human. The more nanites you replicate, the more energy you supply me. 7.5 seconds until I overtake your production.
:''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
:'''Zag-RS''': 4.3 seconds.
:'''Van Kleiss''': AAAAAAAAAH!
:'''Rex''': YAAAAAAH! One psycho robot down, one supervillain to chicken! Finally!
:'''Bobo''': What, you never heard the term &quot;fashionably late&quot;?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Your nanite-replicating function seems to be working well. Most of Zag-RS' alterations have been expunged.
:'''Rex''': Meaning... What?
:'''Bobo''': You ain't gonna wash away at high tide.
:'''Caesar''': This is my design.
:'''Rex''': Great-- My brother created Zag-RS.
:'''Caesar''': Evidently. Though her evolution into some sort of sentient nanite-slayer is most curious.
:'''Six''': Curious?
:'''Rex''': What about what Van Kleiss said?
:'''Caesar''': You mean I'm to blame for the original nanite event? Why don't we ask her? Wait! Interface protocols. Code designate Zag-RS. Respond.
:'''Zag-RS''': Dr. Salazar. Good morning. How may I assist you?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Stand down, gentlemen. Zag-RS has been successfully rebooted. But her memory has been wiped clean.
:'''Rex''': What? You got to be kidding me!
:'''Caesar''': That's interesting. Hmm. Van Kleiss must have implemented a program dump before he left you. It's the only logical conclusion.
:'''Rex''': Program dump?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Do not place your trust in Caesar. He's not the man you believe him to be.
:'''Rex''': Great. So now all we've got is a lame decontamination program with a GPS lady's voice?
:'''Caesar''': GPS lady? Hardly.
:'''Rex:''' I was making a joke.
:'''Caesar''': Don't you recognize it? When I programmed her, I wanted a voice that meant safety, protection, caring. Rex, this is our mother's voice.
:'''Rex''': ''[shocked]'' Mama?

===Night Falls===
: '''Rex:''' If she's not really our grandmother, why are you calling her ''aubuela''?
: '''Caesar:''' There may not be a biological connection but she practically ran the entire town. When you were a boy, you spent every summer here.
: '''Rex:''' I wish I could remember...or any of this.
===Hard Target===
: '''Rex:''' &quot;It's Breach! She's-&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Messing with you, Rex. Did you actually see on her the other side?&quot;
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Well, no but...OK, why Hong Kong?&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Because it's on the other side of the world, because she's seriously messed up.&quot;
: '''Cricket:'''&quot; Kind of like our place.&quot; 
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Trust me. She's back in Abysus laughing it off with the rest of the Pack. Besides, I'm not that easy to find.&quot;
: (''Removes the white towel to reveal her shoulder-length black hair partly dyed a deep plum and having donned a dark gray overall dress'')
: '''Rex:''' &quot;OK, Rex. Bad intro. Take a do-over. Like the new look.&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Wow. A compliment.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Skywdd:''' &quot;And that's when Circe goes all [[w:Siren (mythology)|siren]] and blasts the bus driver's pants clean off.&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;Lucky shot. Hit the exact frequency of polyester.&quot;
:'''Tuck:''' &quot;Good thing his boxers were cotton.&quot;
:'''Rex''' (''uncomfortable'')''':''' &quot;Good one. Uh, Circe, remember when you took down that sea monster in Cabo Luna?&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;Please, Rex, I'd rather not remember that right now.&quot;
:'''Skywdd:''' Geez, Rex. Buzzkill.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Stop it.&quot;
:'''Skywdd:''' &quot;What's with him?&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;Breach lag. Let clean over his bedtime.&quot;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;That and my early morning snooze. By the way, you were right. Breach wasn't after you. She freed Quarry. Got this from the Providence security feed.&quot;
:'''Skywdd:''' &quot;Quarry?&quot;
:'''Tuck:''' &quot;He's lose?&quot;
:'''Cricket:''' &quot;Oh no.&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;You saw Breach and came back ''here!'' What if she followed you!?&quot;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Don't worry. If Breach were here, I'd feel it. She's here.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Breach:''' &quot;Hey, girlfriend.&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Get out of here, Breach!&quot;
: '''Breach:''' &quot;But Van Kleiss has so been wanting to chat.&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Then deliver a message for him! &quot;
: (''Uses her ultrasonic bursts on Breach, who creates a portal behind her, knocking her out with her own sonic abilities)''
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Let her go, Breach!!&quot;
: '''Breach:''' &quot;Oh, sorry, Rex. She's gonna save my skin. V.K.'s tough on failure, remember?&quot;
: (''Teleports away with an unconscious Circe on her shoulder'')
: '''Rex:''' &quot;NO!!&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Hold that thought. You can come out now. I got that creeped out feeling.&quot;
:'''Breach:''' &quot;Peek a boo.&quot;
: '''Skwydd:''' &quot;It's her!'' She took Circe.&quot;
: '''Rex:''' But not to Van Kleiss. You never went to Abysus, did you? You slipped her into your little pocket dimension. Let her go, Breach!
: '''Breach:''' And I agree to that...why?
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Because you wouldn't want Van Kleiss to see this. I'm thinking a trade is in order.&quot;
: (''Breach releases Circe, who is caught by Skwydd'')
: '''Circe:''' &quot;I hate you, Breach.&quot;

===A Family Holiday===
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' The pace of study has been staggeringly slow. There have been no significant advancements in nanite research since the original event. Simply put, Providence is not doing enough. What is required is not a military response, but a serious, thoughtful reaction, a scientific answer. The poor and afflicted deserve more. The world, deserves more. Let me introduce Diane. Mother of three. Diane has been diagnosed as incurable, a lost cause. Since then, she's been treated like an animal, locked away from her family... No hope on the horizon. Until now. At Moses Labs, we don't rely on tanks, guns, or secret weapons-- Only an unwavering belief that whatever science breaks, science can fix. Welcome back, Diane.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Happy birthday, little sister.
:'''Rex:''' Hope that I paid the bills. This is going to be expensive.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Caesar:''' Release the hounds.
:''[a door opens revealing some Evo hounds]''
:'''Rex:''' Huh? Whoa!
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Heh! I thought that was just a figure of speech. You're a sick puppy.
:'''Rex:''' Aah! Not cool, bro!
:''[Rex panting]''
:'''Rex:''' ''[Spanish accent]'' Agua, por favor.
:'''Caesar:''' Water second, probes first.
:'''Rex:''' No offense, but being a guinea pig is a lot less fun when it's you instead of Holiday.
:'''Caesar:''' Don't I run the biometric tests with the same efficiency?
:'''Rex:''' How are we related? Have you looked at Holiday?
:'''Bobo Haha:''' She ain't my species and even I know she's a hottie.
:'''Caesar:''' She is... very smart.
:'''Rex:''' Where is the Doc anyway? She usually can't wait to get her hands on me.
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Saw her this morning, looking pretty grim.
:'''Agent Six:''' It's her sister. Her sister's birthday to be precise. Holiday gets introspective this time of year.
:'''Caesar:''' Her sister? Oh, is she smart too?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hey guys. Can't talk. Hangar!
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Ah, human dames. I don't know how you guys keep up.
:''[Dr. Holiday pants]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Thank you for coming, Dr. Moses. It's a genuine honor.
:'''Rex:''' Who the heck is that guy? Why is Holiday acting all fangirl around him?
:'''Caesar:''' It's Dr. Brandon Moses, the leading researcher in technogenic transmorphing! If anyone's going to develop a kill  for EVOs, it's going to be him!
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Now, that's actin' fan-girl.
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Not the worst I've seen.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Can you help her?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Beverly would be an excellent candidate for my treatments. Have her transported to my facility.
:'''Rex:''' Hold up! I know you have a bunch of letters after your name, but curing EVOs is what I do. Some of them--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Some you just can't handle, Rex. Dr. Moses' research goes to places you don't, so if you don't mind-- 10 minutes, then we'll be in the air. Thank you, doctor. I've earned 5 years' worth of personal time, Knight. I plan to use it all. 
:'''White Knight:''' I don't like it, but I like your sister even less. Go for your &quot;cure&quot;, Holiday. But if it doesn't work, don't bring her back.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Agent Six:''' What do you really know about Dr. Moses?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I know what I saw.
:'''Agent Six:''' You're not taking her to the doctor for a checkup. Has he handed you supporting data?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Why won't you let me have this? It's the first glimmer of hope I've had since Rex got here.
:'''Agent Six''': I think you've lost your objectivity. If you can't help her--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That's the point! I can't! I need this cure. If you won't help me, stay out of my way!
:'''Rex:''' Any chance she's right?
:'''Agent Six:''' Hope she is.
:'''Rex:''' But we're not going to sit around and do nothing in case she's wrong, right? Today you're my sidekick-- Not a fashion-challenged soccer mom blocking my mojo. If there's any chance of playing hero for Holiday, I call dibs.
:'''Security guard:''' Dr. Moses' inventions are not for public viewing-- Especially not by Providence.
:''[Security guard grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' That &quot;soccer mom&quot; comment really got to you, huh? When did science geeks start packing heat? Huh?
:'''Agent Six:''' Check the machine.
:'''Rex:''' I'm no engineer, but as far as I can tell, all this thing does is light up and go &quot;ping&quot;. They never cured it! This was a scam!
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday's in trouble. Holiday, Moses is a fraud. There is no cure!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' What's going on here? Moses, what is this?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Business, Dr. Holiday-- Big business. Now, if you wouldn't mind stepping aside so I can collect your sister--
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday?! What's happening?!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Or don't step aside. I'm good either way.
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday! We've got our coordinates. Go!
:'''Rex:''' It's a hundred miles away!
:'''Agent Six:''' Correct.
:'''Rex:''' Hold on to your swords, old man!
:''[Dr. Holiday grunts]:''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I trusted you!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' A bad trait, a scientist. But look on the bright side-- You won't be locked in a cell anymore. That was just... Shameful.
:'''Rex:''' Be the hero. Be the hero. Be the--
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' ...Zero. You'll be a lot less grouchy in a few seconds, pal. Half cured? That's new.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' They've got Beverly.
:'''Rex:''' You wanna talk to her?
:'''Agent Six:''' Now's not the time.
:'''Rex:''' And when exactly is. She needs a friend, Six.
:'''Agent Six:''' I... prefer to keep it professional. Keeps people from getting hurt.
:'''Rex:''' Dude. Take off the sunglasses. She's already hurting. If I were you--
:''[Six gets a radio signal]''
:'''Agent Six:''' If you were me, you'd have a lead. Get Holiday. Dust off in 3.
:'''Rex:''' Where are we going?
:'''Agent Six:''' Moses may be a genius but not because he can cure EVOs. He overpowers them-- Hypercharges the nanites with excess energy to push their transformations.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That's why Rex only partially cured that EVO he stripped the EVO of its extra power. But at its core, it was still incurable.
:'''Rex:''' We learned something new today. Great.
:'''Agent Six:''' Gets worse. Moses has turned his tech into a cottage industry. He takes incurables and weaponizes them to sell to the highest bidder.
:'''Rex:''' Don't sugarcoat it, Six.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' How did you find this out?
:'''Agent Six:''' I called some former associates-- People who know things, things that good people shouldn't know about.
:'''White Knight:''' Question-- Why is my keep on an unapproved mission?
:'''Rex:''' It's cool, Knight. We're helping Holiday.
:'''White Knight:''' No! We had a deal! Return to base immediately!
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's over guys. I can't drag you down because of my mistake. I won't.
:'''Agent Six:''' Keep returning to base.
:''[Knight ends the transmission]''
:'''Agent Six:''' I said the keep is returning to base. I didn't say we'd be on the keep.
:'''Rex:''' You okay?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hanging in there.
:'''Rex:''' Hanging in there is good. I don't like to see you unhappy, you know. I-I mean--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I know what you mean. Thanks.
:'''Agent Six:''' Better luck next time.
:''[Rex gasps]''
:'''Rex:''' Jealous much, sidekick?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Who is that?
:'''Rex:''' Someone who knows things good people shouldn't.
:'''Five:''' Machine boy! Like the new ax? You owe me for the last one.
:'''Agent Six:''' We'll talk music later, Five. You have word on Moses?
:'''Five:''' Five don't lie. Your guy is running an auction-- Tonight.
:'''Agent Six:''' I owe you.
:'''Five:''' She's a lot more beautiful than you let on, Six. Try not to screw it up this time.
:'''Agent Six:''' You coming?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' The EVO is the military ordinance of the future. We all know it. You drop one of these babies into your neighbor's backyard, and it's game over. But to get the most annihilation out of your nanites... you need me.
:'''Human EVO:''' You promised to cure!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' My technology not only amps up their abilities, but, for an extra charge, will modify their behavior to suit your needs. What am I bid for this army of one?
:'''Agent Six:''' ''[Bursting in]'' I'll open with extradition for crimes against humanity!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' ''[to his bidders]'' Wait! This is just a minor disturbance.
:''[Moses groans]''
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' ''[to Holiday]'' Do you know what you just cost me, all for one hopless wreck?!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Holiday hits Moses]'' Her name is Beverly.
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Then give sissy a hug.
:'''Dr Holiday:''' No! Don't hurt her, Rex!
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, sure. Handle with care. Whoa! Can you tell her that, too?
:'''Agent Six:''' Going nowhere?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Uh, let's not be ''[chuckling]'' rash.
:''[Holiday slaps Moses]''
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' I'm gonna have to get you a dictionary. Rash will not help anyone, especially not Beverly.
:''[Holiday grabs Moses]''
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Who can still be cured.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Holiday drops Moses]'' What?
:'''Agent Six:''' ''[Brandishing his swords]'' No games. Truth or dead.
:'''Rex:''' Fight still going! Need assistance! Big time! Whoa!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' I did invent a machine that de-powered nanites, almost. But the bonds and nanite particles were too strong to break. Instead, I discovered that I could reverse the polarity to its maximum, overpowering the nanites. It's easier and-- Profitable.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' But you did isolate the bonds? So, you can break them!
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa! Ugh! Unh! Okay, I called hero, but I need some extra kick for my sidekick! Unh! Seriously!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Time to earn a return on my investments! Kill them all!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa! Whoa! 
:'''White Knight:''' I won't even bother telling you the trouble you're in. Catch those other EVOs and report to my office the moment you're back.
:'''Rex:''' What other EVO-O-O-O-Os?
:''[Rex turns around and notices the EVOs behind him]''
:'''Rex:''' Ooos?
:'''Rex:''' Think they got it?
:'''Agent Six:''' They'd better. We're busy.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Unh! Okay. That's the flux transponder. That's the nanite energizer. Don't you explode on me-- Not now. Aah!
:'''Rex:''' I'll hand the one crazed sister. You take the other. It'll be like a double date. Don't bother... your sister... while she's working!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I can see what he did, but... uh... there's no time! I can't-- I can't help her! It's over.
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday-- Rebecca-- You are the strongest, smartest woman I have ever met, and the most stubborn.
:''[Six removes his glasses and looks her in the eyes]''
:'''Agent Six:''' You never give up. If there's a way to help your sister, find it-- now!
:''[Slight pause. Holiday smiles and puts Six's glasses back on his face then leaves]''
:'''Agent Six:''' That's my girl. New plan. Corral her to the machine.
:'''Rex:''' Plans are good! Yah! What you got, Doc?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Moses was right. The polarity of the nanite energizer is wrong! I have to amplify and reverse it. But I don't have-- Six... Your magna blades-- But it would be too dangerous. Six!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six!
:'''Agent Six:''' Is it working?
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's working.
:'''Rex:''' Six, get out of there!
:'''Agent Six:''' You called hero on this one, Rex! Finish it-- For her! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Unh! Get them out, Rex-- Both of them-- Now!
:''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
:'''Rex:''' Doc! You gotta see this!
:''[Dr. Holiday panting]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[as she's trying to revive Six]'' Don't you do this to me! I will hate you forever if you--
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:''[Six coughs]''
:'''Beverly:''' Rebecca?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Beverly!
:'''Rex:''' That was... I'm... Wow! Six, I've never said it before and I'll probably never say it again, but... I'm honored to be your partner.
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Mushy stuff? Oh! Glad I missed it.
:'''Rex:''' But don't ever do anything like that again.
:'''Agent Six:''' Agreed. But you have to admit though... It was worth it.
:''[Dr. Holiday and Beverly laughs]''
:'''White Knight:''' We're not running a boarding house here. No more relatives.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I just need her for a few more tests, sir. She was only 13 when she went Evo, and she's in a fragile state.
:'''Beverly:''' Woo Hoo!
:''[Beverly laughing]''
:'''Beverly:''' Rex just took me on a ride through the Zoo on his cycle.
:'''White Knight:''' &quot;Fragile.&quot; Right.
:'''Rex:''' We're going to the mall.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Are you asking permission?
:'''Rex:''' No. I'm asking if we can have some money. Providence pays me nada.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Can I have a word with you?
:'''Agent Six:''' Sure this is a good idea? Could ruin your hero status with Holiday.
:'''Rex:''' It's funny. After meeting Bev, out of nowhere, it hit me that Doc Holiday is just a little too old for me. So, since I'm out of the way, I guess there's nothing stopping you anymore, huh, &quot;hero&quot;?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Well... right. I guess... I'll set up those tests.
:''[Holiday starts to walk past Six. Six takes a hold of her hand]''
:'''Agent Six:''' Or... we could get some dinner.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Outside? In the real world? Like real people? Like a--
:'''Agent Six:''' Yes. Like a date.
:''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's about time.

===Hong Kong Nights===

===Whispers in the Dark===
===Cutting It Close===

===Exposed===
:'''White Knight''': All Providence personnel, this is a priority-one alert.
:'''Agent Six''': Do not panic. Remember your training.
:'''White Knight''': In all my years of working at Providence, never have I been put in such a situation. These interlopes could be anywhere at any given moment.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Hey, what's all the-- Whoa! Sorry. We're late.
:'''Bobo Haha''': You can't prove a thing!
:'''White Knight''': Watch what you say. Watch what you do. The very future of Providence may depend upon it.
:'''Rex Salazar''': So, what's going on? Van Kleiss attack in the HQ again?
:'''Agent Six''': Worse.
:'''Diane Farrah:''' I'm Diane Farrah, and for the first time ever, we've got an exclusive all-access pass inside the top-secret organization known as Providence. To uncover for our viewers, all the juiciest behind-the-scenes details of this most secret of institutions. And to find out the real story behind that man of mystery you've all wondered about for so long.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Aah.
:'''Diane Farrah''': All your questions are about to be answered. Welcome to Providence Exposed! ''[Camera closes-up on her face]'' On Ultimate Exposure! And cut. Great into, guys. Okay, moving on.
:'''Rex Salazar''': This is cool.
:'''Agent Six''': This is wrong.
:'''Rex Salazar''': How's my hair?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Delicious.
:'''White Knight''': Ladies and gentlemen, the delightful Miss Farrah and her crew have used the Freedom of Information Act to force.
:''[White Knight clears his throat]''
:'''White Knight''': To allow them access to a day in the life of Providence. And to ensure you are afforded the very best Providence has to offer, I'm assigning our top man as your personal guide.
:''[Rex moves towards the news team]''
:'''White Knight''': Six, please show Miss Farrah whatever she wants to see.
:'''Agent Six''': Agent Six is the name. On behalf of Providence, I'd like to welcome you to our facility.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Spare me the small talk. I'm here to ask the tough questions, and I expect truthful answers.
:'''Agent Six''': Shoot.
:'''Diane Farrah''': So.. is there a Mrs. Six?
:''[Combs her hair]''
:'''Bobo Haha''': Smooth.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Like you'd have done better.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Are you kidding? They want exposed. I'm going to give that reporter a piece of my mind and a few other pieces while I'm at it. I got stories that'll make them run screaming for the hills.
:''[Bobo Haha laughs]''
:'''Agent Six''': If you'll follow me, I'll be happy to show you one of our nanite research labs up close and personal. EVO control is our primary area of concentration, but Providence is focused on a great many studies. Each employing the best and the brightest our planet has to offer.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Thanks, Six. You know, this is my brother's lab. He's only like the smartest guy in the entire world. Yeah, being the best at what we do totally runs in our family.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Not a good time.
:'''Agent Six''': That experiment is highly sensitive.
:'''Diane Farrah''': So, Agent Six, how did you become a Providence agent?
:'''Agent Six''': That's also highly sensitive.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Amazing story though about how I became a Providence agent. See, there was this big accident.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Good morning. My name is Dr. Rebecca Holiday, And I'm the chief research officer for the Providence Laboratory Facilities - specializing in the study of evology. Providence's number one priority is the security of our planet. And through the studying and understanding the forces that threaten us--
:'''Diane Farrah''': Let's cut to the chase, shall we, doctor?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Oh, um, okay.
:'''Diane Farrah''': How do you balance the threat of EVOs, the constant danger... with being a woman?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Uh.
:''[Dr. Holiday laughs nervously]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Oh, excuse me.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Speaking of studying, check this out. You can edit that, right?
:'''Diane Farrah''': We're all about the editing.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, maybe you could show these journalists some of your other duties, like what you're supposed to be doing right now, for instance.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, man. That's right. Come on. You're going to love this.
:'''Diane Farrah''': EVOs come from far and wide for a chance to be cured by this young man. How often do you do this?
:'''Rex Salazar''': At least once a week here at HQ. When I'm in other parts of the county or the world, Providence sets up a mobile cure station. There are a lot of people out there who need my help. I only wish I could get to them all. Wait. Um, let my try again. ''[after Rex can't cure an EVO]'' Shut it off.
:'''Diane Farrah''': But this is really good drama, Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I asked to be on TV. They didn't. Please give these people their privacy.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Come on, buddy. Everybody has an off day.
:'''Rex Salazar''': In front of millions of viewers? So much for everyone's favorite Providence man of mystery.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Well, they're just lucky they haven't had the camera on me yet. Oh man, talk about Ultimate Exposure. When I get through with them--
:'''Rex Salazar''': I just wish I could look cool on camera somehow.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Phbt! Good luck. The only way that's going to happen now is if some experimental EVOs busted out of their cages and went on a rampage so you could round them up and look like a hero.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Providence isn't known for being forthcoming with information. I hope this interview will change that. The people want answers and I fully expect them from you.
:'''White Knight''': Very well. What do you want to know?
:'''Diane Farrah''': For starters, how do you get fresh milk without any nanites in it?
:'''White Knight''': If you must know, it's passed through a powerful magnet that removes and neutralizes any nanite activity.
:'''Agent Six''': Observe.
:''[White Knight smacks lips]''
:'''White Knight''': Anything else?
:'''Diane Farrah''': Not at the moment, but I'll be back.
:'''White Knight''': I look forward to it.
:''[White Knight sips]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': So, Agent Six, what do you think about White Knight's obsession with staying nanite-free at the expense of human contact?
:'''Agent Six''': He's a man of many mysteries.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Look out! Coming through! Dangerous escaped EVOs on the loose! Stand back! Let a professional handle this!
:'''Diane Farrah''': Follow him.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Yeah, I'm kind of awesome.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Did you get them all?
:'''Rex Salazar''': How many did you release?
:'''Bobo Haha''': I don't know, three or four.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, which was it? Three or four?
:''[Rex Salazar gasps]''
:'''Agent Six''': Well then. Now that Rex's little demonstration is over, how about a visit to the Providence gift shop? On me.
:'''Diane Farrah''': How long has Providence had a gift shop?
:'''Agent Six''': Since 8:00 A.M. You want to tell me how a class by EVO got out of its electromagnetically-sealed container and just happened to cross paths with our tour?
:'''Rex Salazar''': It's not like this kind of thing doesn't happen here all the time. I just wanted it to happen this time, in front of the camera, all right?
:'''Agent Six''': Not all right. That last EVO-- You just helped it molt so it could grow. Its body is still out there somewhere, getting bigger.
:'''White Knight''': Providence is run like a finely tuned machine. Until you decide to throw a monkey wrench into the works.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Hey, pal, let's leave the comedy to me.
:'''White Knight''': And how is it exactly that these EVOs got out?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Okay, Mea Culpa. I may have accidentally knocked open a cage or two-- Or four.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': That fourth cage was electromagnetically sealed.
:'''Bobo Haha''': I didn't say it was easy.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': The EVO we had contained in there feeds on electricity. It must be kept away from any electrical current.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Then it sure is a good thing this whole place isn't full of electricity. Oh, wait.
:'''White Knight''': Find it. Subdue it. And most importantly, don't let that camera crew see it.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Eh, were wastin' time hunting this thing down when I could be on camera right now, giving those people a piece of my mind.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Hey, I only saw the EVOs empty husk before. What's the real thing look like anyway? Huh?
:'''Bobo Haha''': That.
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:''[Rex Salazar grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Any suggestions?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Can you make a soccer net?
:''[Rex Salazar and Bobo Haha grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Aha! Got you cornered now. There's no way out. You're overpowered.
:'''Bobo Haha''': You were saying?
:'''Agent Six''': You wanted to interview me. Now's your chance. Go.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Um... okay. Tell me, Six-- May I call you Six?-- What is the real truth behind the nanite event that created the EVOs?
:'''Agent Six''': That's classified.
:'''Diane Farrah''': What is your role, if any, in that event?
:'''Agent Six''': That's classified, too.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Are you always this talkative?
:'''Agent Six''': No comment.
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Wait. Let me do that again. You didn't get my good side. Which is my good side?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Your backside.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Agent Six, you promised you were taking us to the heart of the operation.
:'''Agent Six''': Right. The heart of the operation. This way.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': [Watching from a monitor] It went right.
:''[Rex goes to his right. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Camera right!
:''[Rex goes to the camera's right]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': How can you miss it now? It's six feet in diameter and weighs five hundred pounds!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Less criticizing, more helping!
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Try to steer it in the direction of Hallway twelve. We can isolate it in the atrium.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, we've got it contained there now.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': No, sorry. I was reading that backwards. Hallway twenty one.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, Hallway twenty one leads to the central core!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, so, no big deal. That's a cold-fission reactor, not electric, right?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, all electricity is converted from something-- Wind, solar, hydro-- At the central core!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Ohh.
:''[Providence Agent screams]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Uh-hoh.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, listen carefully and do exactly as I say because we're only going to get one shot at this.
:'''Diane Farrah''': One shot at what, doctor?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': The... future. Providence is the future. The future used to be the space program. Now the future is Providence and the science of EVOs.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Doc? Are you still there? We have a situation.
:'''Agent Six''': Just a minor downgrade of power during a routine relay check. Nothing to worry about.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Guys, I could really use some advice right about now!
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''White Knight''': Attention all Providence Personnel, we have a Level-One Priority...
:''[Realizes the reporters are present]''
:'''White Knight''': Drill. Repeat-- This is our daily drill in the Central Core-- Now.
:'''Agent Six''': Lunch bell. It's taco day. Anyone hungry?
:'''Diane Farrah''': Agent Six, while we appreciate the commemorative spoons and the tacos, I can't help but think that you've been hiding something from our viewers.
:'''Agent Six''': Not at all, ma'am. Providence is an open book.
:''[Rex Salazar screams]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': Cut! You're ruining the shot, Rex. Just be patient. I will get to you-- I promise.
:''[Rex Salazar groans]''
:'''Agent Six''': Get down.
:''[Diane Farrah gasps]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': That was... what you did.
:'''Agent Six''': Just doing my job, ma'am.
:'''Rex Salazar''': And I'm just doing mine!
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': You're not going anywhere now, buddy, except back to your-- Cage?
:'''White Knight''': We hope that you and the Ultimate Exposure team are enjoying our EVO containment demonstration, Miss Farrah. All part of readiness training here at Providence.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Can I quote you on that?
:'''White Knight''': Miss Farah, I'm not gonna stop you from filming, but for your own safety and the safety of your crew, please step back and let my people do what they do best. Alpha Team, I need a containment of the cafeteria, cube formation. Fire! Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm on it.
:'''Agent Six''': Stay here. This is the real deal.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Not on your life. Find an elevator. We're missing it.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Still not a good ti-i-i-i-i-me!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, big boy. No more crawl spaces. No more Hallways. Just you and me in a big, old hangar bay mano y mano.
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Huh?
:'''Bobo Haha''': ''[after Rex has been repeatedly beaten back by the Evo]'' Looks like you showed him.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Are you going to talk, or are you going to help?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Talk. Kidding! I'm helping! I'm helping!
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:''[Rex Salazar groaning]''
:''[Rex Salazar groaning]''
:''[Rex Salazar sighs]''
:''[Rex Salazar groaning]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': Please tell me you're getting all of this.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Providence's man of mystery strikes again. Ow! It-- it bit me!
:'''Diane Farrah''': Quick, grab some B-roll footage before they get rid of all the evidence.
:'''Rex Salazar''': You did see that I did all the heavy lifting and Six just took out the trash, right?
:'''Diane Farah''': Don't worry. The camera never lies.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Yes!
:'''Bobo Haha''': Good! Then get a load of this!
:'''Diane Farah''': Do you have something to say?
:''[Camera zooms in on Bobo]''
:'''Bobo Haha''': Oh... oh.
:''[Bobo mutters then passes out]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': I think we have everything we need.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I don't know how you guys came off looking, but yours truly rocked hard. Just call me Providence's Man of Mystery from now on. Oh, yeah! Stardom starts in five, four, three, two--
:'''Diane Farrah''': I'm Diane Farrah, and for the first time ever, we've got an exclusive all-access pass inside the top-secret organization known as Providence. To uncover for our viewers, all the juiciest behind-the-scenes details of this most secret of institutions.
:'''Rex Salazar''': We are so dead.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Nice knowing you, kid.
:'''Diane Farrah''': To find out the real story behind that man of mystery you've all wondered about for so long.
:'''Agent Six''': Agent Six is the name.
:'''Rex Salazar''': They did it.
:'''Bobo Haha''': They did.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': This is a news show? What is the world coming to?
:'''Diane Farrah''': Look out, ladies. Agent Six is the full package -- brains, brawn, and--
:'''Agent Six''': Highly sensitive.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Just what is he hiding behind those alluring, dark glasses of his?
:'''Agent Six''': That's classified.
:'''Diane Farrah''': He's the Providence agent you women wanted to get to know.
:'''Agent Six''': Up close and personal.
:'''Diane Farrah''': That's right, girls.
:'''Agent Six''': He's The real deal.
:'''Diane Farrah''': And he's known throughout Providence as--
:'''Agent Six''': The heart of the operation.
:'''Diane Farrah''': He's the organization's best-kept secret, the ultimate agent, and--
:'''Agent Six''': The man of many mysteries.
:'''Diane Farrah''': And, yes, ladies, he is single -- or is he?
:''[Dr. Holiday laughs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Excuse me.
:'''Agent Six''': No comment.
:''[Rex and Bobo Haha laughs]''
:'''White Knight''': Well, that's a relief.
:'''Rex Salazar''': ''[after the story airs]'' So, man of mystery, what's it like being a big star adored by women everywhere?
:'''Agent Six''': No comment.

===Touch and Go===
===The Siren's Lament===
* Flashbacks as to how Circe came to work for Van Kleiss.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Grounded===
===Six Minus Six===
===In Dreams===

===Lions and Lambs===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:''[Providence agents are standing in an industrial area, fingers on triggers. Rex flies in on jet pack and lands beside all the agents.]''
:'''Rex:''' Any sign? ''[Rex notices agents shaking in fear.]'' Alright then, who’s up for a burger, anyone? Tough crowd.
:''[Six walks up.]''
:'''Six:'''	These agents seem nervous. Haven’t they dealt with this situation before?
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, that's kind of the problem.
:''[Rex twitches, as if he is feeling Breach's presence.]''
:'''Providence Agent:''' Here she comes.
:''[Breach appears in front of them. They fire at her. She sends their missiles and agents away with red portals.]''
:'''Six:'''	How do we stop her?
:'''Rex:'''	''[Smack Hands.]'' Hit hard and keep clear of anything that glows.
:''[Breach has a collar around her neck like the one Van Kleiss wears, and a device on her chest like his only much larger and shackles are around her giant hands which look like Van Kleiss's bio-mechanical wrist. She opens a red portal. A giant jellyfish-like thing flies out at Six, then a large creature with a horn on its nose runs out. Rex jumps at Breach, she portals out, returns and the device on her chest starts sparking.]''
:'''Rex:'''	What's with the new toy, Breach?
:'''Breach:'''	''[Glares]'' Wouldn’t you like to know?
:''[T-Rex appears through a gold colored portal, sniffs Rex.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Seriously, where do you find these things? Let's see what you started out as, big guy. ''[Tries to cure.] Six? This... this isn't an EVO!'' It's an actual T-Rex! ...Six?
:''[Rex runs from T-Rex.]''
:'''Breach:'''	Have fun. ''[Leaves through red portal.]''
:''[Rex hides behind light pole, T-Rex pulls pole from ground, Rex falls to the ground.]''
:'''Six:'''	I take it this sort of thing doesn't happen all the time?
:'''Rex:''' Try never? This is all kinds of wrong.
:''[Rex makes BFS, runs at T-Rex; Six runs at T-Rex, jumps on and stabs it in back.]''
:'''Holiday:'''	Is that what I think it is?
:'''Six:''' You mean about to be extinct?
:'''Holiday:''' If you destroy the scientific find of a lifetime, it won’t be the only thing.
:'''Rex:'''	It's trying to eat us.
:'''Six:'''	You heard the lady. Take it down soft.
:'''Rex:'''	Easy for you to say.
:''[Rex lies on the ground holding the jaws open with Smack Hands and it slobbers on him.]''
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Video of T-Rex in confinement field. The T-Rex turns to dust.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Breach is powerful enough as it is, and now you're telling me she can travel through time?
:'''Holiday:'''	However she's doing it, I haven't worked out all the kinks yet. That dinosaur reverted to its actual age about less than two hours after arrival.
:'''Caesar:'''	Photo and deep scan analysis reveals some very interesting technology at work here. Van Kleiss has really stepped up his game.
:'''White Knight:''' Skip the fan talk. How do we stop it?
:'''Caesar:'''	Until I get my hands on the device, I'm not certain we can.
:'''White Knight:''' We have to bring her to our side.
:'''Rex:'''	The only way she's coming here is if she does it willingly.
:'''White Knight:''' How do you propose we persuade her?
:'''Rex:'''	With me. ''[Six and Holiday stare at him skeptically.]'' I can be very convincing. Okay, okay. I think she might still have a thing for me.
:'''Bobo:''' Atta boy, work it on the crazy chick.
:'''White Knight:''' I don't care how we do it as long as we get results. Providence is under the microscope. It is the worst time for Van Kleiss to gain the upper hand. Get to it. Bring her in.
:''[Six and Holiday walking out of the room together down the hall.]''
:'''Six:''' ''[To Holiday.]'' I need a word. Something's wrong with White.
:'''Holiday:'''	Oh. That. He’s always like this, Six.
:'''Six:'''	No. This is different. I know when something is bothering him. The secret meetings, the anxiety. He’s up to something.
:'''Holiday:'''	I'll see what I can find out.
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Rex on hoverboard, in Providence stealth suit.]''
:'''Rex:'''	WHOO-HOO! Works pretty good. After all, I built it. ''[Loses control of board for a moment.]''
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Van Kleiss's castle, Rex hiding by entrance.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Going in. ''[Pulls up stealth mask, disappears partly, runs past guard.]''
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Breach is hooked up to a large machine. Van Kleiss stands before her with a huge bank of controls and displays, spooky dark lighting. She screams.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' This is unacceptable, Breach. I need you to concentrate.
:'''Breach:''' It hurts.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Think of what I'm trying to achieve here. I cannot fail.
:''[Breach screams in agony and collapses.]''
:''[Rex looks down horrified, Van Kleiss grins, Breach screams and falls down.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I'll return when it recharges and we'll start again.
:''[Rex holds his hand out to her.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Why do you let him do this to you?
:'''Breach:''' Glory.
:'''Rex:'''	Van Kleiss's glory. Is he even noticing how you're tearing yourself apart for him? Have you ever heard him say thank you? What do you say we blow this joint, you and me? He's hurting you.
:'''Breach:'''	It's not real. It can't hurt you if it isn't real.
:'''Rex:'''	Breach, look at me. It is. I'm real, all of this is real. You don't have to live this way.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Why am I not surprised. Rex has come to rescue another of my lost sheep. Perhaps he'll try to save you next, Biowulf.
:'''Rex:'''	That depends. Is he housebroken yet?
:'''Biowulf:'''	I am no traitor.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	You’ve no doubt seen our little experiment. Breach shows great promise. She just needs a little fine tuning.
:'''Rex:'''	Then what? Go back in time and be king of the cavemen?
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Why not? It wouldn’t be much of a step down, now would it? Breach, if you would, remove our guest so we can continue. Practice makes perfect, or in your case, acceptable.
:''[Breach makes a red portal.]''
:'''Rex:''' Breach! Think about what you're doing.
:''[Van Kleiss grins, she runs and puts her arms around Rex, portals out with Rex.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Find her. Now.
:''[Mountains, snow, Rex shivering.]''
:'''Rex:'''	I'm glad you got us out of there, but where... are we?
:'''Breach:'''	When the snow is gone you can see forever.
:'''Rex:''' That's nice. Can we go now?
:'''Breach:''' I need to know if I can trust you.
:'''Rex:'''	You can trust me. I swear.
:''[Breach grabs his hand and hugs him. He opens his eyes. They are standing on a shiny endless reflective surface, reflecting stars.]''
:'''Rex:'''	This is different.
:'''Breach:'''	Do you see it?
:'''Rex:'''	Um--
:'''Breach:'''	This is where the stillness comes from.
:'''Rex:'''	You. Are weird. So what exactly does this mean? Are you coming with me or is this some kind of test?
:'''Breach:'''	I need you to see it.
:'''Rex:'''	Ah... A test.
:'''Breach:'''	Do you wanna understand?
:'''Rex:'''	Not exactly sure. ''[She glares, he waves his hands in front of him.]'' Yes, I mean yes. I mean--
:'''Breach:''' Follow me. ''[Walks through red portal.]''
:''[Another place. A door, a doll, a bear and a fire hydrant float in space.]''
:''[Rex hanging upside down, she is holding him by his ankle above a swirling pink vortex.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Ahh! What happened? I thought we were getting along fine!
:'''Breach:'''	Why are you here?
:'''Rex:''' Good question. Where exactly is here? Can we go somewhere else now, somewhere like, on Earth?
:''[She drops him. He screams and lands on the floor between some stacks of books.]''
:'''Rex:''' You sure know how to pick'em. What kind of tripped out dimension is this? ''[Librarian walks by and shushes him.]'' Oh. College.
:'''White Knight:''' ''[On communicator in Rex's right ear.]'' Rex, report. Where on earth have you been?
:'''Rex:'''	Apparently every place but.
:'''White Knight:''' I need to know you can handle this otherwise we're going to try a different approach.
:'''Rex:'''	You need to chill out, White. I’m making progress. ''[Rex puts his hand to his left ear.]'' Dr. Holiday, are you there?
:'''Holiday:'''	Tracking shows you’re with Breach. Are you okay?
:'''Rex:'''	Fine? Creeped out but fine. I can't bring Breach back to Providence, White would just lock her up and that won't help.
:'''Holiday:'''	Where will you take her?
:'''Rex:'''	I'll think of something. Just keep White Knight off my case.
:''[Breach appears behind him.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Why don't you let me pick out where we go next?
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[White Knight hands folded moving nervously.]''
:'''White Knight:''' He says he's making progress.
:'''Black Knight:''' The committee is losing confidence. They want results, not excuses.
:'''White Knight:''' Then that's exactly what they’ll get.
:''[Scene change. Rex sits across from Breach in a booth at a bowling alley.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Soooo, don't like bowling, huh? I figured with the extra arms you'd be a natural.
:'''Breach:'''	I'm not supposed to like you, but I do.
:'''Rex:''' ''[smiles]'' We're teenagers. At least assuming you are. Doing what we are not supposed to is part of the job. French fry?
:''[She takes it and then drops it.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Do you remember anything? From before you... changed?
:'''Breach:'''	I remember everything. And nothing.
:'''Rex:''' Naturally. Why did I even bother to ask. Listen, Breach. I'm not going to pretend I understand you, ''[Puts his hand on her giant hand]'' but I can help. If you let me.
:''[The machine starts to glow, they jump to their feet, other people look startled.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Nothing to worry about. Everything's fine.
:'''Breach:'''	I can't, I can't stop it.
:'''Rex:'''	Let me try. ''[He tries and it knocks him onto the floor sparking.]''
:'''Breach:'''	Van Kleiss has control. They're coming.
:''[Van Kleiss busts through the door with The Pack following. Raises bio-mechanical hand, palm of it glows, device on Breach's chest turns off.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Okay, do your thing. Get us out of here. Anywhere.
:''[she tries]''
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	You can't take what doesn't belong to you.
:'''Rex:'''	I didn't take you for the jealous type. ''[Rex shoots bowling balls at Van Kleiss with his cannon, hits Biowulf and Skalamander in the face and Van Kleiss punches the balls aside with his bio-mechanical hand.]''
:'''Rex:''' Breach, let's go!
:''[Breach rides off with Rex on hoverboard, Van Kleiss and Pack follow on three flying fish EVO's with harnesses and big teeth. They dodge and crash Van Kleiss into a window, and land in a park.]''
:''[Breach and Rex stand together on a footbridge looking down into the water.]''
:'''Breach:''' ''[Walks to bridge and looks at her reflection, Rex follows.]'' Will they hurt me?
:'''Rex:'''	Providence? Not if I can help it.
:'''Breach:'''	They did before. Ms. Smarty Pants—she likes to hurt me.
:'''Rex:''' I'll give you my word, if you come back to Providence, I promise no one will hurt you.
:'''Breach:'''	We can be together forever and ever. ''[She walks off bridge, ducks swimming in water.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Uh... something like that. What am I getting myself into? We gotta move. I bet my brother has already figured out how to turn that thing of yours off.
:''[The ducks fly off, they look and see a reflection in the pond of White Knight's ship.]''
:''[White Knight walks up followed by Providence fighter planes.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Uh guys, what are you doing?!
:'''White Knight:''' If you can't have something done right, do it yourself.
:''[They shoot at Breach, she screams, Rex is horrified.]''
:'''Rex:''' No! No! No! ''[walks up bridge to White Knight]'' Do have any idea what you just did?
:''[Breach's chest device turns on, she screams, Providence shoots at her.]''
:'''Rex:''' Is this what you wanted? Congratulations! ''[runs to Breach]'' Breach! Wait!
:'''Breach:''' Liar! ''[Throws red portal at Rex, he dodges, second one hits him, he disappears. Providence keeps shooting, she throw portals, drops three soldiers in water.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Agent Six!
:''[He jumps at her, she portals him away to behind Knight. Rex jumps from the water onto the bridge by Knight.]''
:'''Rex:'''	You had no intention to bring her in, did you?
:'''White Knight:''' I wanted to believe you, Rex, but this is too important. She can't be controlled.
:'''Rex:''' Control... Her powers are back on. Van Kleiss.
:''[Van Kleiss arrives on flying fish EVO.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Settle down, Breach.
:''[Chest device turns off.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Let me do this. I can get through to her. Come on. It couldn't get any worse than you've already made it
:''[Knight and Six look at each other.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Form a perimeter around Breach. Van Kleiss isn't to touch her.
:''[A rock wall rises from the ground blocking Rex as he runs towards Breach. The Pack jumps down from wall to attack Rex, Six intervenes. Agents surround Breach, she tries and fails to make red portal. Screams. Van Kleiss flies in on fish, knocks down agents with bio-mechanical whip arm, shoots needles from fingers and knocks more down, fish knocks the rest down. White Knight shoots at Van Kleiss.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' If you had any idea what I was trying to do you might even welcome it.
:'''White Knight:''' Enlighten me.
:''[Van Kleiss touches a tree and it turns into an EVO. EVO tree catches and holds White. Six and Biowulf fight, Rex and Skalamander fight.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Enlighten you?
:''[Sticks his claws in White Knight, glowing White Knight screams.]'' All in good time, White Knight, assuming you have some left.
:''[Six throws a magnablade through Van Kleiss's bio-mechanical arm and he lets go of White.]''
:'''Six:'''	''[to White Knight]'' Go. I mean it. ''[White Knight flies off.]''
:'''Six:''' The name's Six.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	We've met.
:'''Six:'''	Don't remember. ''[They fight.]''
:''[Breach on merry-go-round, turning slowly looking at the sky.
:'''Rex:'''	You're just using her.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Of course I am. She knows it. Spare me the chivalry, Rex. Providence would do the same.
:'''Rex:'''	Either way you slice it, she loses!
:'''Breach:''' ''[to herself]'' My two favorites. You both lie. Neither is real.
:'''Rex:''' ''[goes to her]'' Breach, I'm sorry. I meant what I said.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Words mean nothing.
:'''Rex:''' Then let this do the talking. ''[Turns on her machine, puts it into her power.]''
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' You just handed her a loaded gun.
:'''Rex:'''	And now it's her choice how to use it.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Oh if only I had the chance to get through to you, Rex, to teach you how the world really works.
:''[Breach steps in front of Van Kleiss, raises her arms as if to send Rex away. Makes huge yellow portal above them.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Our very first time traveler. You should be honored. Now Breach, if you wouldn't mind.
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:''[Rex closes his eyes. Breach sends Van Kleiss away with yellow portal.]''
:'''Rex:''' That was... unexpected.
:''[Rex tries to turn machine off but fails.]''
:'''Rex:'''	It won't turn off. I'm sorry. I, I didn't know.
:'''Breach:'''	Van Kleiss made it like this so I wouldn't send him away.
:'''Rex:'''	That didn't work out so well did it? Six, get everyone out of here now! ''[A big yellow dome forms around the playground where Rex and Breach stand.]''
:'''Rex:'''	So, what's going to happen?
:''[Rex and Breach are about to be engulfed by Breach's out of control time portal]''
:'''Breach''': ''[she looks up]'' I don't know if any of this was real. But it was nice having a friend for a while. ''[Rex smiles, Breach hugs him as they dispensary in the golden time portal]''
:'''Rex:''' I didn't get blown up. ''[Sees a lizard.]'' Whoa! ''[Jumps away, startled.]'' Oh no, please don't let this be dino time. ''[Touches earpiece in left ear.]'' Rex to Providence, do you copy? :''[Takes earpiece out and looks at it.]'' Oh... Rex to Providence, you better be there.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Uh... we copy, Rex. We have a lock on your coordinates and are sending a jump jet.
:'''Rex:'''	Is Six okay? Breach went supernova.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Someone's on the way, just hold tight. Providence out.
:''[Scene change, Rex lying on the ground.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Took you long enough.
:''[Turns over and sees Providence agents, pointing guns at him.]''
:'''Providence Agent:''' Rex is onboard. Heading back to HQ.
:'''Rex:'''	HQ? Ten minutes ago I was in the middle of an epic battle. You need to take me back!
:'''Providence Agent:''' Um, that battle is over.
:'''Rex:''' What happened? Is Six okay? Guys...what's going on?
:''[They arrive at HQ.]''
:'''Caesar:'''	Baby brother, you're okay! ''[Runs and hugs him.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Breach just sent me to nowheresville. Nothing to freak out over.
:'''Caesar:'''	''[To Providence agent.]'' You didn't tell him?
:'''Providence Agent:''' Our orders were just to bring him back.
:'''Rex:'''	Tell me what? Hey, when did you... have a beard?
:'''Caesar:''' There's no easy way to tell you this, hermano. Breach didn't just send you to the middle of nowhere. You've been gone for six months.
:'''Rex:'''	Six months?! So this is--
:'''Caesar:''' Technically, the future. I should warn you, there've been a few changes.
:'''Rex:'''	You didn't give away my room, did you?
:'''Caesar:''' As a matter of fact, they did.
:'''Rex:''' What?! Caesar, tell me what's going on here.
:'''Caesar:'''	It would be better if I showed you.
:'''Rex:'''	White Knight taking visitors now?
:'''Caesar:'''	I'll wait out here.
:''[Rex sees Providence agents dressed in black.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Nice suits.
:''[Goes into the office.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Ah... Love what you've done with the place. White?
:''[Person in chair turns around, it's a woman, not White Knight.]''
:'''Black Knight:''' Thank you, Rex. ''[She gets up and walks towards him.]'' It was a little bright for my taste. White Knight is no longer associated with this organization.
:'''Rex:''' He quit?
:'''Black Knight:''' He...attempted a hostile takeover and failed. Can I get you anything? Water? A snack?
:'''Rex:''' I don't want a snack! Where's Six? Where's Holiday!?
:'''Black Knight:''' This must upsetting to you. Change is never easy but from I understand, you've been in situations like this before. Everything's going to be fine.
:'''Rex:''' Who are you?!
:'''Black Knight:''' Someone very happy to have you back. Call me Black Knight.

==Season Three (2011-2013)==
===Back in Black===
: '''Rex''': Okay, I get what's going on here.
: '''Black Knight''': I'm relieved to hear that, Rex.
: '''Rex''': You can come out! I know you're there!
: '''Black Knight''': Rex?
: '''Rex''': We're friends, now, remember? Breach?
: '''Black Knight''': Breach isn't here, Rex. The world's changed. As soon you accept th--
: '''Rex''': No, I'm not ignoring you. It's just that you're not real.
: '''Black Knight''': I assure you I'm very real-- as is all of this.
: '''Rex''': ''[chuckling]'' Oh, come on. It's been a fun time in the ol' Breachscape, but, you know, time to go home now.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex''': Seen this before. Usually ends with a black hole.
: '''Black Knight''': Rex, you're disoriented. Let me--
: '''Rex''': Sorry, non-lady. No time. Got an exit to find! Shall we aprehend?
: '''Black Knight''': It won't be necessary.
: '''Caesar''': Rex! Have you lost it?
: '''Rex''': Caesar! We're in a pocket dimension! It could collapse at any second!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Caesar''': That's crazy, Rex. This is not a pocket dimension.
: '''Rex''': You're right! It's a whole alternate universe! And-- and-- and you're my Brother's evil twin! Out of the way! Six! Six! Doc!
: ''[Rex panting]''
: '''Rex''': Dr. Holiday! Doc!
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex''': Wha-- Well, at least some things haven't changed. Whoa! Whoa! Okay, now I-- Bleh-- know I'm in an-- Aah!-- alternate universe. Unh! You can go ahead and -- Blech!-- Eat me now, please.
: '''Black Knight''': Release.
: '''Rex''': You were... saying something about changes?
: '''Black Knight''': There have been a few.
: '''Caesar''': You've got temporal lag, Rex. It's kind of like altitude sickness, only in time. Here-- This will balance your electrolytes.
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex''': So this is really-- 
: '''Black Knight''': Really. Welcome to the future, Rex-- Or, rather, to the present. Without your healing abilities, Providence has embraced a new paradigm. We've moved beyond the outmoded era of &quot;cure, contain, or kill.&quot;
: '''Rex''': And into the era of &quot;serious leash laws&quot;.
: '''Caesar''': We used the petting zoo as our test bed. What do you think?
: '''Rex''': I think it needs a new name, 'cause, you know, now it really is one.
: '''Caesar''': We've developed new techniques for working with EVOs. It's all about understanding them better.
: '''Rex''': So, you're some sort of &quot;EVO whisperer&quot;?
: '''Caesar''': ''[laughs]'' It's a bit more complicated than that. You sure you're okay? ''[sighs]'' It's good to have you back, brother.
: '''Black Knight''': Family ties. They transcend even time itself.
: '''Rex''': Caesar's not my only family.
: '''Black Knight''': I'll bring you up to speed on the others. When you went M.I.A., White Knight lost his biggest weapon in the war for EVO containment.
: '''Rex''': Figures that I have to vanish for him to appreciate me.
: '''Black Knight''': White became erratic-- some might say paranoid. Directorate lost faith in his ability to lead.
: '''Rex''': Directorate? I never knew white even had a boss.
: '''Black Knight''': There are, shall we say, layers. I was named as his replacement.
: '''Rex''': Let me guess-- he didn't take it well.
: '''Black Knight''': You could say that.
: '''Providence Agent''': White Knight! Sir! Stand down!
: '''White Knight''': I'd rather go down in flames than see Providence in the hands of the enemy.
: '''Providence Agent''': He's got a bomb! Fall back! All units fall ba--
: '''Rex''': Whoa! That was--
: '''Black Knight''': Your room.
: '''Rex''': Huh? Aww, man! But... Six... Holiday... where--
: '''Black Knight''': Where do you think? They're out looking for you. Agent Six and Holiday took indefinite leave. They've been off the grid ever since. I've attempted to contact them, but no response.
: '''Rex''': Mind if... I give them a ring? Not that I don't trust you.
: '''Black Knight''': But you don't trust me. Natural, given the circumstances. Be my guest. It won't take long, to locate them. Meanwhile, there are many familiar faces who will be glad to hear you're back. Which reminds me... This is everything we salvaged from your room.
: '''Rex''': Huh. Talk about starting over.
: '''Black Knight''': You could you know. There's still a place for you in the--
: '''Rex''': My room. I thought you said it was trashed.
: '''Black Knight''': Rex, wait.
: '''Rex''': What's the matter, Black? This where you're hiding all your evil secrets?
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex''': Um... Wow!
: '''Black Knight''': This entire wing was destroyed in the blast. I had the space... repurposed.
: '''Rex''': White wouldn't even splurge for private stalls.
: '''Black Knight''': As you see, I treat my finest people to the very finest things.
: '''Rex''': Sure. I'll take one of those, please.
: '''Black Knight''': It's yours-- and anything else you'd like.
: '''Rex''': As long as I do whatever you want-- That it?
: '''Black Knight''': On the contrary-- you're a seasoned agent. I have a few boundaries, but otherwise, handle matters as you see fit.
: '''Rex''': Say I refuse.
: '''Black Knight''': Then I turn you over to mel. ''[chuckling]'' I'm kidding. You're free to leave whenever you like. But I hope you'll stay. Now, more than ever, Providence needs a Rex. So, how do you feel? Like I haven't used one of those in Six months-- Which I haven't. You mind? Bobo?
: '''Bobo''': Rex! Heard you were back. So great to see you, buddy. Whoa. Just a sec, there, pal. Gotta love those certain towelettes.
: ''[Bobo whistling]''
: '''Bobo''': What? Never seen a monkey wash his hands before?
: '''Rex''': Not this one.
: ''[Bobo munching]''
: '''Rex''': You wanna tell me what's gotten into you or what?
: '''Bobo''': What are you talking abou-- Unh! Hey!
: '''Rex''': Sorry. For a minute, I thought you were...
: '''Bobo''': Robo Bobo? Wanna check for a tv in my butt?
: '''Rex''': Pass. But come on. You've, I don't know, mellowed or something.
: '''Bobo''': Guess I just don't have a big need to act out these days, what with you and everyone gone. Plus, the employee benefits are pretty sweet.
: '''Black Knight''': Rex, we've got a little EVO problem. Providence could use your help. Ready to get back in the game?
: '''Rex''': If it involves getting out of here, that would be a &quot;yes.&quot; You coming?
: '''Bobo''': I'll join ya on the next one. I got Tai Chi at 2:00.
: '''Rex''': Missing an EVO smackdown? That doesn't sound like you.
: '''Bobo''': Did I mention the instructor has a thing for back hair?
: '''Rex:''' Ew. Okay. That sounds like you. What is it and where do I find it?
: '''Providence Agent''': We've got an EVO in the subway tunnels, people trapped in one of the trains. The power's out down there, too.
: '''Rex:''' Sounds like a street worm. Sure it's just one? Rex to H.Q. Okay, new chief, how do you want to do this?
: '''Black Knight:''' You're the expert.
: '''Rex:''' I am? Uh, I mean, of course I am. It's just that Six usually--
: '''Black Knight:''' You don't need help, Rex. Handle it as you see fit. Black, out.
: '''Rex:''' What's this strange feeling that's come upon me? Could it be...
: ''[Rex shudders]''
: '''Rex''': Responsibility?! Okay. Assemble your guys over there. Be ready for me. Should the guys grab flashlight. Or... better. Not a bad pre-show. Now for the main event.
: '''Providence Agent:''' How did you know?
: '''Rex:''' These things usually travel in pairs. I used lights from my builds to make it think I was another worm. Have your bug net handy. They're so cute after I shut them down.
: '''Rex:''' Sorry B.K. No can cure.
: '''Black Knight:''' Understood. Our team will take it from here.
: '''Rex:''' Um, take what where?
: '''Providence Agent:''' Move into the vehicle! Move... into... the vehicle! Hit her again!
: '''Rex:''' Um, what just happend?
: '''Black Knight:''' That's all for now, Rex. Nicely done.
: '''Rex:''' Hm. Wait. What are you gonna do with it?
: '''Providence Agent:''' Standard rehab and re-lo. It's all very humane.
: '''Rex:''' I'd love to see that. Mind if I tag along?
: '''Black Knight:''' Sorry, Rex. Authorized personnel only. You've done your job. Now let the team theirs.
: '''Rex:''' But--
: '''Black Knight:''' Boundaries, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' Boundaries. Got it. Rex, out.
: '''Caesar:''' Main container reached. Attach stabilizer ring.
: '''Rex:''' Humane? Yeah, right.
: ''[Bobo yawns]''
: '''Bobo:''' See? Great employee benefits.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. Right. Hey, you got a tag sticking out in the back. Mind if I--
: '''Bobo:''' Thanks, pal. Well, off to yoga.
: '''Caesar:''' You really shouldn't be here, hermano.
: '''Rex:''' The petting zoo? The worm? My monkey practicing good hygiene? You're using that thing to control my friend!
: '''Caesar:''' He's still the same Bobo you know and love. He just need a few boundaries.
: '''Rex:''' He's not the same, and neither are you! You should hear yourself!
: '''Caesar:''' Making the world safer isn't possible without some form of control. And you'd better get some control of yourself, mijo.
: '''Rex:''' Or what? You'll use that thing on me?
: '''Caesar:''' Open your eyes to all the good we're accomplishing. Isn't this better than smacking them with your giant fists?
: '''Rex:''' That's combat! I protect people and property! Okay, property, not so much, but this? If you can't see the difference, then maybe I never knew you at all!
: '''Caesar:''' It doesn't matter. I have work to do.
: '''Rex:''' So do I!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Uses his Smack Hands to smash everything around him]''
: '''Caesar:''' Rex! Stop!
: '''Black Knight:''' Snooping around, Rex? See, that's another one of my boundaries.
: '''Rex:''' White Knight may have had his issues, but he never resorted to anything like this!
: '''Black Knight:''' I never planned to do this, Rex, but you've become a danger.
: '''Rex''' ''[shocked]'': Caesar! Think! You can't do this!
: '''Caesar:''' Of course I'm thinking. This is the logical conclusion to what we started. 
: '''Rex:''' The logical-- Aaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Raaah! Aah!
: ''[Caesar blasts the mind-control laser, causing Rex to scream and groan in pain]''
: '''Caesar:''' Sorry, Rex. You'll thank me later.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' You... better... believe I will!
: '''Caesar:''' Please don't resist! It's only painful if you struggle!
: '''Black Knight:''' What's taking so long?
: '''Caesar:''' He's fighting it! His nantic energy is spiking off the scale!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Boost power.
: '''Caesar:''' It's not safe to--
: '''Black Knight:''' It's for the best. 
: ''[Caesar increases power, causing Rex's nanites to go haywire as a tear fall down his cheek, heartbroken about his own brother betraying him]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Manages to overpower the mind-control machine, much to the surprise and wonder of Caesar and Black Knight]''
: '''Rex:''' You just drew a line in the sand, bro! ''[runs off]''
: '''Black Knight:''' You'd better have a backup.
: '''Caesar:''' The prototype. Not portable, but more than enough power, even for him.
: '''Black Knight:''' Get it ready.
: '''Rex:''' Unh!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Rex:''' No mood to get slimed right now, mel!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Rex:''' What happened to your EVO control?
: '''Black Knight:''' A demonstration. You know what would happen without our influence.
: '''Rex:''' So, you're hijacking its brain, like you tried to do with mine.
: '''Black Knight:''' That won't be necessary if you'll willingly cooperate.
: '''Rex:''' Translation-- if I do everything you say.
: '''Black Knight:''' You've seen how we can work together. Providence still needs you. There will always be a few EVOs we can't control.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. I'm one of them.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Shall we pursue?
: '''Black Knight:''' Most definitely.
: '''Rex:''' Gangway! Coming through! Huh? No! Huh. Black Pawns. Overdoing the whole theme, don't you think?
: ''[Rex groaning]''
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Yah! I'm getting beat up by the chess club!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Black Knight:''' We... got off on the wrong foot. Stow the hardware and come with us. You have my word you won't be harmed. We can start over-- the right way.
: '''Bobo:''' You mind? You're interrupting the enjoyment of my employee benefits.
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: ''[Rex panting]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Black Knight:''' ''[after Rex was tranquilized]'' Excellent work. Take him to the lab.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex:''' What? No way! You're not turning my brain to mashed potatoes! Doc?!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Welcome back, Rex.
: '''Six:''' Good to see you, kid.
: '''Rex:''' Before I blame this on a Burrito-induced nightmare, will someone please tell me-- What... Is... Going... On?!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' What do you think? We've been looking for you.
: '''Six:''' We knew Providence might find you first. Fortunately, we planted a mole.
: '''Bobo:''' Ehh. Rex! Put 'er there!
: '''Rex:''' Uhh! You didn't wash! Oh! You didn't wash! But that means... that he really was... Robo Bobo?
: '''Bobo:''' In the flesh.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Literally. I gave it a biological upgrade, complete with his own nanites and... fleas, ticks, lice, chigger mites.
: '''Bobo:''' What can I say? I'm an ecosystem.
: '''Six:''' It's enough to fool your brother's equipment. The robot is only providing limited intel. But one thing is sure-- new Providence is about more than just getting Evos off the streets.
: '''Rex:''' I saw it. Whatever they're doing over there is seriously messed up.
: '''Six:''' That's why we've set up our own operation.
: '''Rex:''' Whoa! Where did you get all of this?
: '''Six:''' We have our sources.
: '''Rex:''' So, we're like super secret spies now? Cool!
:''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex:''' It's too bad about White, though. I never thought I'd say it, but I'm gonna miss that pasty guy.
: '''White Knight:''' How touching, Rex. I, on the other hand, would rather enjoyed the last six Rex-free months. Now... if we're done with the love-in, we have work to do.
: '''Rex:''' It really can't get any better than this. Oh, except one thing-- can I get a TV?

===Crash and Burn===
*From this episode, Rex can create two builds at once
:''[Bobo yawns]''
:'''Bobo:''' They say nothin' good happens after midnight. And, you know, they're right.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I'm worried about you, Bobo. Since we left Providence, you've been staying out every night.
:''[Bobo grunts]''
:''[Bobo munching]''
:''[Bobo gulps]''
:'''Bobo:''' That's not the least of your worries. Seen our boy lately?
:''[Dr. Holiday scoffs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex is fine. He just needs time to adjust to our new setting. Rex? It's Holiday. Are you there?
:'''Rex:''' Hey, doc. What up?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Just checking in. Everything okay?
:'''Rex:''' Better than okay. I'm about to set a new land-speed record'
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That wasn't what I meant. How are you feeling?
:'''Rex:''' Appreciate the concern, but the only thing on my mind right now is the need for speed. Apparently, I'm not alone. I'll call you back. Hey! Slow down! I want to talk to you! Ah. You want to play chicken. Doc? Bobo? I'm getting blitzed by some bikers. Aah!
:'''Rand:''' Might as well give up! I won't quit! I'm a relentless, never-say-die, nonstop-- Uh, hey, wait a minute. Who are you?
:'''Rex:''' Think you could have asked me that before trying to run me down?
:'''Rand:''' Ooh! My fault. I thought you were one of us.
:'''Rex:''' &quot;One of us&quot;? What is this?
:'''Rand:''' Sorry, dude. No time to chat. Peace.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, like I'm gonna take that for an answer. A street race? Or a demolition derby?
:''[Lance grunts]''
:''[Lance groans]''
:'''Lance:''' Gonna need a bike.
:'''Rex:''' Can't believe you survive that! You must be the luckiest guy on the-- These are nanites.
:''[Lance groans]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Oh, come on!
:'''Six:''' Something wrong?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Prototypes. I prefer tried-and-tested. And I don't even know what we're going to do with half of this stuff.
:'''Bobo:''' You're goin' soft, gettin' worked over by a bunch of goofballs on motorcycles.
:'''Rex:''' They had weapons.
:'''Bobo:''' Last time I checked, so did you.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, but not while I'm on my bike. I'm strictly one at a time.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The nanites that have infected his body are slowly poisoning him. I've never seen anything like it.
:'''Rex:''' Do what you can, Doc? I'm gonna go out and look for those racers.
:'''Bobo:''' Sounds dangerous.
:'''Rex:''' Sure, Bobo. You can come, too. The nanites we found on the biker gave off a different energy signature. Gonna use one of Holiday's new toys to try to scan for it. A bunch of them. And they're moving fast.
:'''Bobo:''' Then step on it! Maybe Holiday has a point about prototypes!
:'''Rex:''' Or maybe they're not on the streets. I'll watch the road. You watch the screen.
:'''Bobo:''' Gotta warn you-- Chimps make bad navigators!
:'''Rex:''' Just do it!
:'''Bobo:''' Hmm? Left! You're goin' left! Make a right! Another right!
:'''Rex:''' Which way?
:'''Bobo:''' I don't know! That way-ish! Wah! Like I said-- Monkeys make great navigators! This is your biker gang?
:'''Rex:''' They had weapons before I'm telling you-- They're tough!
:'''Bobo:''' If you say so.
:''[Bobo grunts]''
:'''Bobo:''' Wall.
:''[Bobo and Rex grunts]''
:'''Moss:''' That's some fancy ridin'. You following us, kid?
:'''Rex:''' Still think they don't look tough?
:'''Bobo:''' I take it back.
:'''Moss:''' Who are you, kid? 'Cause whoever you are, you're not bad.
:'''Rand:''' You're awesome! Where'd you learn to ride like that? Anybody with that kind of skill should be with us. Yeah!
:'''Moss:''' What's your secret?
:'''Rex:''' No secret. I'm just built that way.
:'''Lunk:''' Is that guy from TV-- The one who fights EVOs.
:'''Bobo:''' Five bucks for pictures, ten bucks for autographs.
:'''Rand:''' A talking monkey! Outrageous! I gotta have one. Is he for sale?
:'''Bobo:''' Brother, you can't afford me.
:'''Rex:''' You guys seem tight-- For guys who try to kill each other.
:'''Rand:''' We're not killers. We're racers. This is a legitimate sport.
:'''Moss:''' It is what it is. Our races aren't for the weak. Name's Moss. You've met Rand.
:'''Rex:''' He tried to blow me up.
:'''Rand:''' I missed. You're welcome. Come on, don't leave me hangin'.
:'''Moss:''' Never met a celebrity who could ride.
:'''Rex:''' I caught you, didn't I?
:'''Moss:''' But are you tough enough try me?
:'''Rex:''' Try me.
:'''Bobo:''' You gotta fight back?
:'''Rex:''' With what?
:'''Bobo:''' Oh, brother. Fine, leave it to Chimpy. Aah! I'll take that. Phbt!
:'''Rex:''' Something else on the map-- Moving fast! And it's big!
:'''Providence Agent:''' Halt! You kids! Pull over! Now!
:'''Moss:''' Cops!
:'''Bobo:''' Worst than cops-- Providence.
:'''Rex:''' The bikes give off a nanite signature. They must have tracked it.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Rex, what are you doing here?
:'''Rex:''' Research. You don't want to get caught up in this! Back off now! Sorry, guys. Have Black Knight sent me the bill.
:'''Rand:''' Ha! No way! You want to beat me, you gotta step your game up. Aah!
:''[Rand groans]''
:'''Rex:''' Rand!
:'''Bobo:''' Don't stop! Kid's wearing armor. He's fine.
:'''Rex:''' No! Something's wrong!
:''[Rand groans]''
:'''Rex:''' What is this thing? Doc? Get over here quick. We've got another one.
:'''Biker gangs:''' WHOO-HOO-HOO!
:''[Biker gangs laughs]''
:'''Biker gangs:''' Yeah!
:'''Moss:''' We thought you'd bailed on us. Where were you?
:'''Rex:''' Watching a doctor try to save Rand's life.
:'''Moss:''' Racers get sick sometimes. It's part of the life.
:'''Rex:''' Those nanite power sources-- you got to stop using them. To feel one with the road, that rush? So some people get sick. When we're on our rides, nothing else matters.
:'''Rex:''' Your rides are killing you! You're gonna be dead-- All of you! And for what? So you can go a little faster?
:'''Moss:''' We need those things to ride. You know what it's like.
:'''Lunk:''' Please. Don't take our bikes away.
:'''Rex:''' Nobody's going to take your bikes. But I need to know where you got those nanites.
:'''Lunk:''' ''[sighs]'' A guy named Valve. He supplies the superchargers.
:'''Moss:''' You're wasting your time. Valve never talks to anybody.
:'''Rex:''' He'll talk to me.
:'''Bobo:''' Been in a lot of bad biker dives, but this is the worst I've ever seen.
:'''Valve:''' Enter, strangers. The biker will see you now. Please, sit. May I offer you some tea?
:'''Rex:''' I'll pass.
:'''Valve:''' Suit yourself. I find a good cup of tea soothing-- for the body and the soul.
:''[Valve slurps]''
:'''Valve:''' You don't have to tell the biker why you're here. The biker can tell. You wish to buy a supercharger.
:''[Valve slurps]''
:'''Rex:''' Your superchargers are killing people. It's gonna stop.
:''[Valve breathes deeply]''
:'''Valve:''' Hmm. That sounds like a challenge.
:'''Rex:''' Maybe it is. I'll race you for them. If I win, you hand over your entire stockpile.
:'''Valve:''' Shh! Your answer is on the wind.
:'''Rex:''' You're... not right in the head, are you?
:'''Valve:''' When the wind commands, the impossible game must be gamed. The challenge is accepted. We will race for the superchargers. And when the biker wins... It won't matter.
:'''Rex:''' Why is that?
:'''Valve:''' Because you'll be dead. Let the race begin.
:'''Moss:''' This is his own private track. He knows it better than anyone. You can still back out-- Probably.
:'''Rex:''' And let people become poison, like Valve? No. I can take him. Just give me something to hit him with. You guys are walking arsenals. You don't have anything?
:'''Moss:''' You didn't think we'd need 'em today.
:'''Bobo:''' Oh, boy.
:'''Six:''' Message from Holiday. The two sick teens have stabilized, but she's still a ways from finding a cure.
:'''Rex:''' It was the only weapon I could find, okay? Can I borrow the sword?
:'''Six:''' Use your own.
:'''Rex:''' On wheels? It's not gonna happen.
:'''Six:''' What's stopping you?
:'''Rex:''' Well, for one thing, I-- Um, not sure exactly.
:'''Six:''' What have I been teaching you? Focus on what you want and make it happen. No more excuses.
:''[Bobo munching]''
:''[Bobo munching]''
:'''Valve:''' You're lucky. One the very best get a chance at this track.
:'''Rex:''' Then I should fit right in. Rules of the game-- ten laps. Cross the finish line before the biker, and you may have them.
:'''Rex:''' So, is the wind talking to you now?
:'''Valve:''' The wind commands the Biker to destroy you. The Biker is happy to oblige.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Bobo:''' You gonna help him?
:'''Six:''' He's doing fine.
:'''Bobo:''' Are you watchin' the same race I am?
:''[Valve grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' You're in trouble, Rex! No. Keep it together. Keep... it... together. Six said it-- Focus. Focus. Focus!
:''[Valve laughs]''
:'''Valve:''' Oblivion.
:'''Six:''' Like I sad-- He's doing fine.
:'''Rex:''' Double-up! Where have you been all my life?
:''[Valve grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Cute toy. But I like mine better.
:'''Valve:''' Aah!
:'''Rex:''' Was there any doubt?
:'''Bobo:''' Yeah, plenty.
:''[Valve panting]''
:'''Rex:''' We had the deal. Remember?
:'''Valve:''' Like the storm that changes directions on a whim, the biker is changing the deal. 'Cause the biker-- ''[grunts]'' Doesn't like! ''[grunts]'' The biker-- ''[grunts]'' never loses! ''[grunts]'' Unh!
:'''Rex:''' First time for everything. Thank you, Six.
:'''Six:''' It was all you, kid.
:'''Moss:''' Rand!
:'''Biker gangs:''' Oh, Rand! Good to see you!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Completely detoxified. In a couple days, they'll be back to full strength. Those could be useful at the new base.
:'''Moss:''' You can't stop us from riding.
:'''Rex:''' What's stopping you? You can still ride. You just won't be poisoned by nanites. Come on. Race you back to the garage.
:''[Rex rides off]''
:'''Moss:''' ''[Chasing after Rex]'' You heard the man. Hit it!
:'''Six:''' You do realize we just turned a group of reckless teenage boys loose on the city.
:'''Bobo:''' All in a day's work.

===Heroes United, Part 1===
:'''Caesar:''' Now where are you? So it ''is'' you. This is most disturbing.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Ben:''' You know the friend you care about!? Well, I have a cousin, a grandfather, a best friend that I care about!! They don't exist here! I may never see them again! I'm totally alone! So go ahead! Do your worst.
: '''Rex:''' Maybe we can help each other.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I'm curious how big brother knows about something from a parallel dimension.
: '''Caesar:''' Because I sent it there. In the early days of the Nanite Project, our goal was simple. Construct microscopic machines to cure diseases, grow new cells, regenerate bones. They was a control issue. Some thought a human-machine link was the answer. Others proposed that the machines control themselves. I was in latter cam. I developed the Alpha to control other nanites. To maximize its effectiveness, I had to program Alpha to think for itself. 
:'''Ben:''' Does a low explanation mean something bad on your Earth too?
:'''Rex:''' Yep.
:'''Caesar:''' Alpha developed its own consciousness. It evolved into a unique life-form. It wanted a body, but whatever it built burned out. So when Alpha attempted possessing living this, Alpha had to be eliminated. So I built a dimensional disruptor.
:'''Ben:''' Looks like a Null Void gun. We got some like those back home, too.

===Heroes United, Part 2===
:'''Alpha:''' The nanites in those creatures. They are different, powerful. Your nanites are weak. I have no use for you. Where is the boy?
:'''Holiday:''' His nanites are off limits!!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' My brother!? Look around! He's not here!
:'''Alpha:''' The father is redundant. Now that I found you.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Alpha:''' I cannot merge! What makes you so special, human? Yes. You shelter an Omega.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''White Knight:''' Don't let it get to Rex! If it drains his nanites-!
:'''Diamondhead:''' Game over. I get it.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex''': My most powerful builds came from the Omega nanite. A lot of people are going to get hurt and I can't stop it. What happens when the best you can do just isn't enough?
:'''Ben''': You get an Upgrade.
:'''Rex:''' Weren't you listening? Alpha has the Omega.
:'''Ben:''' I'm not talking about a nanite.
:(''Transforms into Upgrade'')
:'''Rex''':  Hey, what are you- ''[Upgrade merges with Rex]'' Whoa, okay, that feels weird. ''[Upgrade covers Rex's body like a suit]'' Wow, what supposed to happen now? ''[Upgrade's head appears on Rex's left shoulder]'' Uh...don't do that, you freaking me out!
:'''Upgrade''': Build something!
:'''Rex''': ''[Builds a Smack Arm, which is modified by Upgrade]'' Sweet, so what's the plan?
:'''Upgrade''': You build stuff, I make it better. Fight fight fight, we win!
:'''Rex''':  Works for me! ''[Rex builds a Boogie Pack and blasts off]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Alpha''': Organics who rely on machines for their power, I don't need. The machines themselves, now those I will have.
===Phantom of the Soap Opera===
:'''Rex Salazar:''' In a world he never chose and barely understands... ''[Rex looks over the countryside from a cliff, jumps and lands in a snow scene]'' One incredibly good looking guy fights for us all. His name...you know it baby...Rex. ''[jumps into a lake scene]'' Forget train wrecks... ''[punches]'' And car wrecks... ''[kicks]'' Nothing brings the pain like this Rex. ''[runs into city scene. EVO walks down street, Rex runs up, jumps, grabs EVO's head and tears it off. Holds it over his head in victory gesture.]''
:'''Actor in costume:''' Yeah, yeah, that's hilarious kid.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Ah, anytime you want to stop trying to get me fired get back to the tour.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Sorry. Got caught up in the moment.
:'''Actor in costume:''' Ah, dude?
:''[Rex puts head back on the man in EVO costume.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' And on your left, the sound stage where they make the hit TV show Middle School Talent show.
:''[Teen girls on tour squeal and run towards it.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' That's a closed set. ''[Noah pulls on his hair]'' C'mon, this is my first week as a page, I could lose my job!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I got this. ''[pulls girls back from stage with turbines]'' I just don't get girls, how come they get so... ''[notices something behind Noah, acts all excited]'' Huh hu oh huh... oh El Amor de la Pasion del Amor! Why didn't you tell me EADLPDA was made here?
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Um, probably because I didn't really believe you actually still watch a soap opera.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' It's a telenovela. The actresses are smoking hot. And I don't have cable?...ah c'mon dude don't be a hater. ''[crosses arms]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Whatever. We're not going in there, they get like ten safety violations a week, no one's allowed in accept crew and studio staff.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' You mean like pages? ''[Brushes Noah's shoulder with his hand, smiling. Noah brushes his hand away.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' No way. My boss is a total butt-buster for the rules and she is always watching. ''[makes binocular with his hands]''
:'''Head Page:''' You got that right bub. ''[Rex looks behind him, and jumps away]'' By the way Page, you lose something? ''[has three girls from Noah's tour group tied up in a rope]'' Found these wandering over by Middle School Talent Show. ''[Noah runs over and unties them, rope falls]''
:'''Head Page:''' ''[points to her left eye]'' I got my one good eye on you, Nixon.
:''[On set of telenovela]''
:''[Isabella crying]''
:'''Reymundo:''' Pensabas que yo era tu marido. ¡Pero fue una mentira! Pero la verdad es que soy Reymundo, el hermano diabólico de Reynaldo.
:'''Isabella:''' Yo sé, pero todavía te amo.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[standing by salad bar in cafeteria looking up at TV screen]'' How can anyone say that's not great!
:''[Man in cowboy hat tips his hat to Noah]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Whoa? Celebrities know you?
:''[There are drinks on their trays at this point, then in the next frame there are no drinks on their trays and they go over to get drinks.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' The only one here who knows my name is my boss. I'm just a newb on an internship.
:''[Blond girl puts her hand on Noah's shoulder and reaches across him to get a soda, walks away, looks back and gives him a finger gun.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Yeah right, you just got a finger gun from TV weather lady Summer Sonnenshine.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' It's the page jacket not me, if you put this thing on everyone would think you work here. Still. I gotta admit it's pretty cool.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Y'know, I didn't even know you'd applied for this. But I guess when you jump ahead in time you gotta expect some surprises...OH MY GOSH... ''[drops tray]'' It's Isabella, from El Amor del Pasion del Amor.
:''[Rex throws up his arms, knocks tray into Noah's chest spilling it all over his jacket]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' AHHH!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I know she's even hotter in real life than she is on the...
:'''Noah Nixon:''' ''[looks down at tray and jacket]'' Ohhhhh...
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Okay, okay don't worry...
:'''Head Page:''' ''[yelling at another page behind Rex]'' You call yourself a page!
:'''Rex:''' Okay worry. ''[puts his fingers together]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' This is a huge violation of the dress code, oh I am so fired!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No you're not. Come on, move!
:''[They run to a supply closet.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' I've gotta lead another tour in 45 minutes. We can't get to a dry cleaners and back in 45 minutes.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' This is my bad, but I can fix this. ''[Noah panicking, rocking and hyperventilating]'' We just have to calm down and think. Just calm down. ''[Rex points at Noah]'' Noah, calm down!
:''[Rex grabs a bottle of pickles off the shelf, opens the lid and throw contents of jar at Noah's head. A pickle ends up in Noah's mouth, he spits it out.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Not helping. ''[Noah, calm now and not hyperventilating and rocking, wipes pickle juice out of his eyes.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Okay, listen we passed the wardrobe department on the tour, they've gotta have a washer and dryer right?
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Uh... yeah, I guess?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Alright, good, give me your outfit and stay put, I'll take care of everything else.
:''[Scene change. Sign which says laundry stages commissary.]''
:''[Rex runs towards laundry, passes stage of telenovela. Grins and stops. Looks into open door. Looks down at soiled jacket. Up at stage doorway. Walks away. Runs back and grins bigger. Walks into stage with Noah's jacket on.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh...
:'''Isabella:''' Finally! You are here!
:''[Isabella kisses Rex all over his face.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' This is happening, right? I'm not going to wake up and be making out with my pillow again am I?
:'''Isabella:''' Come with me, they want to cancel us you know. That's why the studio puts us here in this place falling apart with all the accidentes.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Soap operas do not get the respect they deserve.
:'''Isabella:''' You are very wise for your age. We don't even go backstage anymore. Too dangerous.
:''[A silhouette of a rat is seen, it squeaks]''
:'''Beatriz:''' Is that our page?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh...
:''[Rex falls]''
:'''Isabella:''' He's mine, I saw him first!
:''[Rex gets up and Isabella grabs him.]''
:'''Isabella:''' He is mine!!!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hum?
:'''Beatriz:''' Why don't we let him decide?
:'''[Rex is being pulled back and forth]''
:'''Isabella:''' You would like that wouldn't you?
:'''Beatriz:''' Yes I would! Very much.
:'''Isabella:''' Fine.
:''[Girls growl at each other and walk away.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[grinning]'' Did they just cat-fight over me?
:''[The girls come back with lists.]''
:'''Isabella:''' Here is a list of what I need you to do!
:'''Beatriz:''' And here's mine!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' You want me to work on the show?
:'''Beatriz:''' Claro que si, we haven't had a page on set in ages.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' But I'm not ... ''[looks over the girls]'' ...able to think of one reason why I would pass this up.
:''[Screen cuts to Noah looking out the door. He sees the chief page and closes the door quickly, after that, the scene changes back to Rex carrying boxes of water with yogurt on top.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I got your yogurt, but I couldn't find the water you wanted. So I got these.
:'''Isabella:''' You are dead to me! But I will take this one. ''[takes yogurt]''
:''[Rex stares in shock and drops the boxes full of water.]''
:''[Old man walks in a dressing room, and Reynaldo comes out soon later.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Whoa, it's Reynaldo! Uh, coffee? ''[offers him a mug of coffee]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' Gracias.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Leche?
:'''Reynaldo:''' How dare you! I am lactose intolerant.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh, okay, didn't know that. Sugar?
:''[Reynaldo knocks the sugar out of his hand.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' Real men take their coffee strong and hot. Are you suggesting that I am not a real man?
:''[Rex looks around and the phone rings.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Rex, where are you?
:'''Reynaldo:''' No phone! ''[Reynaldo knocks the phone out of his hand.]'' You will talk to me face to face. Mano a mano! ''[grabs Rex's jacket]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey wait what are you... ''[Reynaldo pulls Rex away from table. Stage light falls where Rex was standing]'' ...Oh, thanks!
:''[Everyone runs up to them.]''
:'''Beatriz:''' Not another accidente!
:'''Isabella:''' ''[scared]'' Ay. Dios mio! No!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' It's okay, I'm fine.
:'''Isabella:''' ''[pushes Rex down]'' My jogurt!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I'd hate to be the guy that has to clean that up... ''[whispers to man though they look at him]'' Oh. ''[Reynaldo hands him the mop.]''
:'''Beatriz:''' If I didn't know better, I'd say that someone was trying to kill us.
:'''Reynaldo:''' Someone is. The head of the studio is trying to kill our soap opera. That's why he put us in this accursed stage, with all these accidentes. But we... ''[another stage light falls and hits his head, he falls to the ground]'' Aahh... Por que? Ay.
:''[Rex looks up and sees a mongoose...runs after it...goes backstage. Sees clowns and a sign saying “Mongo”.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Ugh! Clowns.
:''[The mongoose squeaks.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Lemme guess. You're the one who's been causing all the accidents.
:''[Mongo growls, bears teeth]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Okay, let's say we can wrap this up quietly. Last thing I need is someone wondering why the guy in the page jacket can do this. ''[wraps Mongo up in the whip thing, Mongo gets tiny, escapes, growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Guess that explains how you've been able to hide out back here. ''[Mongo pulls lever cannon comes out of floor and fires at Rex. Platform falls Rex dodges. Mongo squeaks]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Can we please do this a little more quietly and with a lot less YOU trying to kill me?
:''[Mongo jumps into the “O” of his name on the sign.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Wait, that's you, isn't it? You just want your job back. I can help you. ''[reaches in and tries to cure him Mongo runs out and traps Rex's hand]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Enough with the booby traps, I'm trying to help you. ''[Mongo sets off another trap]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh-oh. [makes big fist, weight on rope swings and hits Rex, makes noise]
:'''Beatriz:''' What's going on back there?
:'''Isabella:''' Where is that page? I am beginning to wonder ...HOW LONG IS IT GOING TO TAKE FOR HIM TO CLEAN UP MY JOGURT!!!!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[Getting thrown around back stage]'' Ouch. ''[gets beat up by mechanical clowns]''
:''[Mongo cuts stars from ceiling they fall and cut Rex's jacket]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Ok, New plan-- First I smash your face, then I cure you.
:''[Mongo knocks over equipment]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No. ''[grabs equipment, Mongo jumps on his arm, punches him and he falls]'' Oww! Look out!
:''[Actors run from set, Rex falls and smashes set]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uhh, okay here's the deal—all the accidents you've been having they were caused by an EVO backstage. It used to be a mongoose and now it wants it's old job back. ''[last wall of stage set falls behind him]''
:'''Beatriz:''' What are jou talking about?
:'''Isabella:''' We just saw you ruin our set.
:'''Reynaldo:''' You are trying to destroy this soap opera just like the rest of them! It is true what they say, this sound stage must be cursed for us to have such a horrible page such as you, Senior... ''[looks at name badge]'' Noah Nixon.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Whoa, wait. This isn't Noah's fault.
:''[Three actors gasps]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' ''[tears off his own shirt]'' Now you insult us by talking about yourself in the third person! Somehow we must rebuild and finish our shoot! But as soon as we do, Noah Nixon, I will have you fired!
:''[Workers fixing set, Rex's phone rings.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Rex! Finally. How's the jacket?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Umm. Well, the good news is you won't notice the stain anymore. Hey uh, by the way, your page training, did it include anything about the creepy backstage in studio B?
:'''Noah Nixon: What? Why are you--
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No reason. I was just thinking, hypothetically, what would happen if I used your jacket to take a quick peek at the telenovela and ended up chasing some killer EVO mongoose? Hypothetically... Uh...Noah?
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Sorry, just trying to figure out how to tell my parents I have no future.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey I got this. I hit a little snag. Just keep your pants on.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' ''[sitting the maintenance closet in his underwear]'' Heh!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Sorry, look, you don't have anything to worry about all I have to do is catch the EVO before they finish shooting and clear my... your name.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' You know what? I'm not worried. I am completely resigned to the fact that I am losing my job. ''[Noah hangs up on Rex. Rex hears dial tone.]''
:'''Beatriz:''' ''[to Reynaldo]'' You are bleeding!
:'''Reynaldo:''' What I am is an actor! We must shoot this scene. We cannot let them cancel us! ''[moans and falls on his face crushing a chair]''
:'''Beatriz:''' You cannot go on.
:'''Isabella:''' If only there were someone else here who knows our show, is fluent in Spanish, and will do a scene in which he kisses me.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I'll do it!!!
:'''Reynaldo:''' You? The one who ruined our set and lied about the EVO? I'd rather die! But then, my life will surely end if the show is canceled, so maybe... But no! It's impossible. But yet, what is more impossible than a dream. Nothing means more than my dream of saving this telenovela!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' So, is that a--
:'''Reynaldo:''' Si. You will be our savior. And then I will have you fired. Accion!
:''[Rex is dressed as Reynaldo. Takes Isabella in his arms and looks deep into her eyes, smiles..then turns away, sees Mongo and gasps. Isabella pulls his face back to her and puckers for a kiss. Mongo squeaks and runs out the door and Rex turns his eyes towards it.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[thinking]'' Okay no kiss, but you're gonna save Noah's job! ''[groans]'' Nope. Doesn't make it any better. ''[Runs out Isabelle runs after him, trips on his wig and falls to the ground gasping, reaching after him]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[makes Rex Ride to chase Mongo down alley. Runs into a set. Falls]'' Where'd you go?
:'''Guy in suit:''' You! Page! Take this script to post, pronto.
:'''Rex Salazar: Hey wait, I'm not--
:'''Guy in suit:''' Oh? You're not going to do it? Are you talking back to me Mr.... Nixon?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No. Mr. Nixon is not definitely not talking back to whoever you are. ''[takes script, leaves]''
:'''Guy in suit:''' Nixon! ''[Points in the other direction of where Rex was going. Rex goes where he's pointing]''
:''[Rex walks by alley hears Mongo munching garbage, sneaks up, tries to cure it. It escapes, Rex corners it in dead end alley]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Oh you're not so tough when you can't hide, are you? ''[Mongo growls and grows huge]'' Oh so you can do that too. ''[Mongo roars, swipes at Rex with claws]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey, watch the jacket. I'm in enough trouble already. ''[Sets down scripts. Big fists. Mongo shrinks to escape. Rex falls to the ground. Mongo gets huge again behind him, tries to stomp on Rex, Rex rolls out of the way, Mongo shrinks and runs away, Rex climbs out of hole in ground breathing heavily and falls to ground.]''
:'''Guy in suit:''' ''[walks up]'' Are you kidding me? You still haven't delivered that script? ''[Rex runs off]''
:'''Guy in suit:''' Nixon! ''[points in other direction, Rex runs that way]''
:''[Mongo jumps off roof grows huge lands on Rex, grabs script.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey, gimme that! ''[grabs Mongo with big fist throws him into a stage building]''
:''[Rex looks in the hole into the stage.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Sorry. ''[runs off after Mongo]''
:''[Mongo throws him higher than the roof tops, Rex lands on big feet, Mongo tackles him. Rex lands in front of the post building, grabs remains of script out of Mongo's mouth. Mongo runs away, Rex gathers script remains and hands it to man at post door.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I think this is for you. ''[runs after Mongo]''
:''[Phone rings]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Did you catch it?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Not yet, but I delivered a script for you, well, most of it.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' I am so dead.
:'''Lady with clipboard:''' ''[grabs Rex by the collar]'' Noah Nixon, you're right on time for your two p.m. tour. ''[Gives Rex clipboard and keys]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[Driving tram with tourists]'' Uh, there's a building where some TV shows are made and there's another one and oh great there's the giant killer EVO.
:''[Mongo chasing tram, Rex steps on gas. Tram goes sloooow. Mongo attacks tram. Rex lands, catches tourists with big hands, flies off on hoverboard]''
:'''Tourist:''' They had better special effects at my kids' school play.
:''[Back on soap opera stage]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' I need a bigger reaction from you. Bigger!
:''[Rex crashes through ceiling with Mongo hanging on the bottom of his hoverboard, heading towards Isabella.]''
:''[Isabella screams and covers head, Mongo crashes into set]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' Yes! That's it exactly!
:''[Mongo growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Be careful or you're gonna get the hand. ''[big fists with right hand. Mongo jumps at him, Rex grins and raises his left hand and cures Mongo. Mongo lays on ground cute and unconscious.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' That's not the hand I meant.
:''[Actors, stunned, applaud]''
:''[Rex picks up Mongo.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' You are a good page, Noah Nixon.
:''[Mongo wakes up runs around on Rex and perches on his shoulder cutely.]''
:''[At supply closet with Noah, Rex walks in holding torn up jacket]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Oh, my jacket! ''[Cuddles jacket, then holds it up and glares at Rex through the hole in it. Rex grins guiltily.]''
:''[Head Page walks in, Noah hides jacket, then realizes he is in underwear and tries to hide himself behind jacket.]''
:'''Head Page:''' I got a dozen calls from all over the lot about you, Nixon. I don't know what you were thinking. ''[He sits down, sweat runs down his face, he closes his eyes, frowns, runs head away. Head page grabs him and hugs him.]''
:'''Head Page:''' I'm proud of you, kiddo! It took me sixty seven years to make chief page. I bet you'll get the job in half that time. ''[Noah stands up holding jacket in front of him. Rex and Noah look puzzled Head Page walks to door, turns back]''
:'''Head Page:''' Oh and them soap opera fellas, eh, they got a special reward for you. ''[they look at each other with puzzled frowns]''
:''[Telenovela stage, Noah dressed as Reynaldo. Isabella kisses him.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' And cut! You look differante than you did before, Noah Nixon. ''[Noah looks up at his blond eyebrows and takes off the wig and mustache. Smiles at Reynaldo. Reynaldo looks at him thoughtfully.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' I can see you've been to makeup. Good you finally look like a real man! ''[Noah smiles.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' [peeking in from backstage, makes a jealous face as Noah is laughing together with the actors.] It's OK, it's OK. You're a good friend, you're a good friend.
:'''Guy in suit:''' You! Quit talking to yourself and get me some coffee! ''[Rex runs off]'' Nixon!
:''[Mongo looking down from rafters]''

===Riddle of the Sphinx===
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' They uncovered the tunnel during routine sewer work. No one has set foot in here in over 3.500 years.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Providence doesn't work the location yet?
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' ''[laughs]'' The antiquities comission does not like this Black Knight. They keep her busy with much paperwork.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The maze looks like it extends for miles. They do that to keep looters out?
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' Or to keep something in.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Anything that was trapped in here couldn't be alive after all this time.
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' I-I-I must go.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''': Watch out! Bobby traps.
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' That's not what I'm afraid of.
:'''Bobo:''' It's only been a few days since we heard from Holiday.
:'''Six:''' Something's wrong.
:'''Bobo:''' Maybe she wanted a vacation from you clowns. &quot;Something's wrong.&quot;
:''[Bobo grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Providence! She in is trouble.
:'''Six:''' Black Knight. And she has your better half.
:'''Bobo:''' I'm predictin' an awkward situation.
:'''Black Knight:''' Hello, Rex. If you came for your friend, I'll have to disappoint you.
:'''Rex:''' That hairy creep? You can keep the traitor. Hey! My faithful guide, why don't you go away while we discuss business?
:'''Bobo:''' It's me, you dopey tin can! Beat it! Or the boss lady's gonna get wise to our little switcheroo.
:'''Rex:''' What's the campout for?
:'''Black Knight:''' Routine scientific research.
:'''Rex:''' Look, I know Holiday was here. What'd you do with her?
:'''Black Knight:''' We arrived an hour ago. The locals say Holiday unleashed a monster down in the tunnels. The situation's under control. As soon as we've secured the tunnels, I'll send a team in to see if she's still alive.
:'''Rex:''' I'm going with you.
:'''Black Knight:''' You're going nowhere. You quit Providence. Unless you're recosindering?
:'''Rex:''' Come on, guide. Holiday's in those tunnels. But Black Knight has a whole battalion of Providence goons guarding the entrance.
:'''Six:''' I figured she'd be no help. That's why I found someone who knows a back way in.
:'''Egyptian Cooker:''' The Kushari is healthy. For the stomach, good.
:'''Rex:''' Enough about the Kushari! Where's the back entrance?
:'''Egyptian Cooker:''' For so young, you in such a hurry. And old cook like me, I live by selling Kushari. Why not buy some? You buy, I give you more information.
:'''Bobo:''' Ah, come on. Stop bein' so stingy. Buy some more.
:'''Six:''' Where's the back entrance?
:'''Egyptian Cooker:''' The sewer man-- They came to fix a leak. They found the tunnel to the entrance in my basement.
:'''Bobo:''' Mmm!
:'''Rex:''' Way cool! Maybe we'll see some mummies!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Tell us where Holiday is!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Where do you think I am?
:'''Six:''' Holiday!
:'''Bobo:''' So, what's with the halloween get up, doc?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I found it in one of the chambers. Scares off the curious. I need to get to the bottom of all this before Black Knight.
:'''Rex:''' The bottom of what? This is all ancient history?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You can this ancient history?
:'''Rex:''' That looks like a nanite!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That's because it is a nanite.
:'''Six:''' How could they have knowledge back then?
:'''Rex:''' Aliens! Like the ones that built the pyramids.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' None of this is more advanced that the 21st century. It's not aliens. I think the answers lie behind this door. But I can't figure out how to open it.
:'''Rex:''' Open the door? No problem, Doc!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Stop! This whole place is booby-trapped. We open this wrong, they'll bring the tunnels down on us.
:'''Rex:''' If there's a wrong way to open it, then that means there's a right way, too. Maybe the nanite picture is a clue. The whole thing is rigged like one. Told you-- No prob. Whoa, mumies.
:'''Bobo:''' What are you lookin' at, beautiful?
:'''Rex:''' Ha! Awesome! I'd love to see the look on Knight's face when she finds out we've beat her here.
:'''Black Knight:''' Then let me step a little closer so you can see.
:'''Six:''' How'd you find us?
:'''Black Knight:''' Your mole helped me.
:'''Bobo:''' Sorry, pal.
:'''Black Knight:''' I should have known better. It's old junk from the dead.
:''[Black Knight gasps]''
:'''Guranset:''' Gharun Set is not dead.
:'''Rex:''' Put her down!
:'''Black Knight:''' This isn't the time for violence. Our host has forgotten his manners. I presume he hasn't had guests in a long time.
:'''Guranset:''' Almost an eternity. Gharun Set said has waited for his release. Awaken this cursed prison through the ages.
:'''Black Knight:''' You speak English. That is interesting. Who taught your own language, Gharun Set?
:'''Guranset:''' I was taught by the great father.
:'''Black Knight:''' Father? What did he look me?
:'''Guranset:''' He is dead-- As all of you soon shall be!
:'''Black Knight:''' Now's the time for violence.
:'''Guranset:''' Aah!
:'''Black Knight:''' A nanite disrupter. Something I had your brother's lab whip up. It's quite lethal.
:'''Rex:''' Looks like the lab forgot to tell him that.
:'''Guranset:''' The boy controls the engines of life? It can't be. I laid low the armies of six kingdoms, swordsman. You think your tiny blades can stop me?
:'''Rex:''' Try this one for size!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex!
:'''Rex:''' Huh?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' His staff is a nanite disrupter. Get it away from him.
:'''Rex:''' Easier said than done!
:'''Guranset:''' Haah!
:'''Rex:''' Oh, mummies!
:'''Bobo:''' Yeah, yeah, you got your mummies. I hope you're happy!
:'''Six:''' Rex! We can handle this! He's getting away!
:'''Guranset:''' One last trap to keep me imprisoned, father. Nothing will keep me from my destiny! You serve his plan, child, and don't even know it.
:'''Rex:''' Everybody talk weird in ancient Egypt, or it is just your special thing? Uh... are they supposed to do that?
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Guranset:''' Finally! I am free!
:'''Six:''' These EVO's won't say dead.
:'''Bobo:''' Their breath stinks, too! Ah, boy!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You could thank me for saving your life.
:'''Black Knight:''' Dr. Holiday, our lives are not safe yet.
:'''Guranset:''' I am not alone. Together, we shall reconquer this land, and then.. the world!
:'''Rex:''' Uh, I think the sun's baked him loopy. You can't reanimate that. It's a statue.
:'''Guranset:''' This is not statue, child. It is a tomb. Arise, my mighty steed. Arise, my sphinx!
:'''Rex:''' Providence, this is Rex. You may want to evacuate Cairo.
:'''Guranset:''' This city is a blight upon my kingdom. All shall be as it once was.
:'''Rex:''' I'm warning you, Gharun Set-- I don't want to have to get rough with you. Step off the pussycat.
:'''Guranset:''' You presume to tell a pharaoph what to do. Be gone!
:'''Six:''' Holiday. There's something I want to tell you before it's too late.
:'''Bobo:''' Ugh. Hold still! Oh, no.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' All of them. Like the nanites keeping them alive... self-destructed? I'm sorry. What were you going to say?
:'''Six:''' Holiday... I, uh...
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hold that thought.
:'''Bobo:''' What's it gonna be, the kooky chicks or we go help Rex save the world?
:'''Six:''' Rex probably has this under control. Holiday needs my-- our help.
:'''Bobo:''' Yeah, I can't resist a good catfight either.
:'''Rex:''' Let me handle! This it's too dangerous!
:'''Pilot:''' Black Knight, target sighted. It's riding a 50-foot-tall house cat. Please advise.
:'''Black Knight:''' Do not harm. Contain and capture. We need that specimen.
:''[Black Knight gasps]''
:'''Black Knight:''' Pilot disregard. Last order. Target no longer needed. Destroy. Repeat-- Destroy.
:'''Pilot:''' You're with the lady. Lock and load.
:'''Rex:''' Huh? Whoa! Get out of here! I don't know what he's up to, but it's not good.
:'''Garunset:''' Behold the majesty of my dream. My kingdom! My paradise!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' What is this place?
:'''Black Knight:''' It's the stuff of legends. The fabled hall of records which lay hidden beneath where the sphinx once was.
:'''Bobo:''' &quot;Was&quot;?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' This can't be! That's the helix splitter. And that looks like a nano-flux inducer. Caesar built the first prototype of one last year.
:'''Black Knight:''' I can't let you touch any of this. It's too unstable with age. When you blundered in the tomb, you set off a safeguard. Someone thought this room too dangerous for the world to know about.
:'''Bobo:''' Agreed. Let's scram!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' We can't! Don't you know what this means to science? The knowledge in here is invaluable. It cannot be lost-- Again!
:'''Black Knight:''' It won't be! Now that we know where it is, we can dig it out later. We will study it. I promise you that.
:'''Six''': Holiday. Let it go.
:'''Guranset''': As father promised-- I will rule forever.
:'''Rex''': Forever is gonna be shorter than you think.
:'''Guranset''': No! Nooooo!
:'''Rex''': Aw, come on! I didn't hit you that hard!
:''[Guranset gasps]''
:'''Rex''': What's happening to you?
:''[Guranset gasps]''
:'''Guranset''': Aaaaaaaaah!
:''[Guranset grunts]''
:'''Guranset''': Do not touch your pharaoh.
:'''Rex''': You need help. Your nanites are dying of old age-- I think. It's like starting an old car. Uh, o-or a camel. Let me help you. I can fix your nanites, and then maybe--
:'''Guranset''': Lies!
:'''Rex''': You're in a strange time, a strange place. We have science, machines. We can help you. Trust us.
:'''Guranset''': Like you trust the woman you call Black Knight? I see now this is a world of lies. You and I have no place in it. Father told me of you... Rex.
:'''Rex:''' What? How do you know my--
:'''Guranset''': I would have helped the world. Ended the hunger, the wars. But now he will return. Avenge me. ''[Echoing]'' I see now this is a world of lies. You and I have no place in it.
&lt;hr width80/&gt;
:'''Black Knight:''' You wanted something?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The hall of records-- You can't keep it a secret. It must be studied. That hall--
:'''Black Knight:''' What hall?
:'''Rex:''' Why'd you do that?! Holiday said--
:'''Black Knight:''' Some secrets are best left buried under the sands, Rex.
:''[Dr. Holiday grunts]''
:'''Black Knight:''' Gentleman. Dr. Holiday.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six, what'd you want to tell me back in the tomb?
:'''Six:''' It can wait.
:'''Rex:''' Don't wait too long.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' All those priceless artifacts. And we still don't know who created Gharun Set.

===Guy vs. Guy===
:'''Rex:''' This means war.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Double Vision===
: ''[The episode starts as a butterfly flies through plants in a flower shop. Suddenly, Rex is thrown into the shop window, making nearby civilians run away. Rex gets up and looks out of the broken glass, seeing a beastly plant EVO, a few people watching, and Agent Six slashing his swords around to evade the EVO's tentacles.]''
: '''Rex:''' ''[Pants and brushes leaves off his sleeve and puts on goggles.]'' Not bad!
: ''[Uses the Punk Busters to jump out of the shop and generates his Smack Hands to uppercut the EVO, causing it to crash into a nearby building.]'' But I'm better!
: ''[The EVO gets out of the glass windows and roars, attacking Agent Six.]''
: '''Agent Six:'''	''[Cuts off a tentacle and walks towards Rex.]'' Talk is cheap, Rex. Prove it.
: '''Rex:''' ''[Generating the Smack Hands.]'' No problemo.
: ''[The EVO rushes towards Rex, unfortunately, Rex grabs it and slams it onto the ground. A random girl is driving up the road on a moped. However, she is stopped as the EVO blocks the path.]''
: '''Rex:''' ''[Putting his hands up to assure the girl.]'' Nothing to worry about, I've got this handled. ''[Turns to EVO, whom is still on the floor.]'' Okay big guy, say adiós to those nasty nanites.
: '''Rex:''' ''[Rex kneels down to cure the EVO, flowers spout out of the EVO]'' Aw, for me? Does this mean we're dating?
: ''[Suddenly, the flowers shoot out some goo into Rex's face, making him slam onto the floor, a crowd forms around the battle.]''
: '''Rex:''' ''[Yelps while getting up and pulls his goggles off and wipes the goo off his face.]'' Oh, that's better. ''[He gives his goggles to the random female on the moped]'' Hey! Watch these for me. ''[Runs back into battle and generates the Punk Busters and kicks the blacked out EVO over a building.]'' Goal! Hey thanks for holding onto my...huh?...
: ''[Rex turns around to see the girl missing from the crowd. Deforming his Punk Busters, he spots the girl riding away on her moped. She turns to look back at Rex, appearing to have on his goggles.]''
: '''Rex:''' Goggles!
: ''[Rex puts one of his hands up to signal for her to wait, but the EVO returns and wraps its tentacle around Rex's neck. The EVO twists Rex in mid-air in the sky for a minute before slamming him onto the cement. Rex gets up and sees the goggle girl riding away out of sight.]''
: '''Rex:''' Hey! You've got my...ungh...goggles... Aah! Ungh! Did you see that girl?! She stole my goggles!
: '''Agent Six:''' Priorities, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' They are my priority, Six. I can pound EVOs any day. Those goggles are-- Ah, great. Who invited her?
: '''Black Knight:''' Stand down, gentlemen. We've got this covered.
: '''Rex:''' We don't need any help. Whoa! Whoa! Ungh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Obviously. Control collar-- Now. We'll take it from here.
: '''Rex:''' Take it from whe-e-re?! I've already got this under contro-o-o-o-l! Whoa! Ugh! Let me try to cure it.
: '''Black Knight:''' The new Providence protocol is to confine, constrain and control. If curing is an option, it will be considered-- At my discretion.
: '''Rex:''' Control? I can cure it now and end this.
: '''Black Knight:''' The offer still stands. If you want to come back to Providence, you can continue your mission.
: '''Rex:''' I have my mission!
: '''Black Knight:''' Curing every EVO on Earth isn't a mission, Rex. It's an impossibility.
: '''Rex:''' Watch me.
: '''Black Knight:''' Everybody back! Contain those seedlings!
: '''Rex:''' You just made it worse! Now I've got to clean up your mess. Starting with this guy. See? Fearing works!
: '''Black Knight:''' It was your actions that exacerbated this situation. I want full containment and control over those seedlings. Move out-- Now.
: '''Agent Six:''' While you were arguing, Holiday found another sprout. Let's go deal with that before Providence does.
: '''Rex:''' But-- My goggles!
: '''Agent Six:''' Focus, Rex. We've got work to do.
: '''Rex:''' Nice work!
: '''Agent Six:''' Drop in the bucket. Look below.
: '''Rex:''' Wow. And I thought I'd be able to knock off early today.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' On the contrary, Rex. By overlaying current worldwide wind patterns on top of international population centers, we're looking at total global infestation within thirty-eight hours.
: '''Bobo:''' Ooh, that's a lot of roughage.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' I need to get in the field and obtain some live samples. Bobo and I will meet you at the rendezvous point in the mobile command center.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, doc. We're almost there. Hey! It's that girl! Wh-o-o-o-oa!
: '''Agent Six:''' What's gotten into you, Rex?
: '''Rex:''' My goggles-- I can't see without them!
: '''Agent Six:''' Obviously, you can see without them.
: '''Rex:''' Well, yeah, but I really need them a lot of the time. Don't you remember when I first got them?
: '''Agent Six:''' Actually, no.
: '''Rex:''' Oh. Sorry. My bad. It was early on, when I was just learning to control my powers. Whoa!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Aaaah! Aah! Aaaaah! Oof!
: '''Agent Six:''' Horse manure.
: '''Rex:''' This is exactly why I need my goggles! Hey! I thought this thing was just a sprout!
: '''Agent Six:''' It's the nature of plants to grow.
: '''Rex:''' Hm. Very Zen of you, Six. Well, it's the nature of me to kick EVO butt! Whoa! Oof! Yuck! This stuff really stinks!
: '''Agent Six:''' All yours.
: '''Rex:''' Ta-da! And for my next trick... Oh, and look who's late to the party.
: '''Black Knight:''' ''[Entering]'' Alpha team, I want you to lay down suppressive fire and--
: ''[Realizing the EVOs not there]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Belay that. Sit Ops, I was told we had a Class-Three EVO situation here. Where is the EVO?
: '''Rex:''' ''[Rex hands her flowers]'' Sorry. This is all that's left. Six, are we good here? I've got to run.
: '''Agent Six:''' I'd put those in water.
: '''Black Knight:''' Unh!
: '''Rex:''' Slow down! I just want to-- Ungh!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex:''' Huh? What?! No way! Hey! You've got my-- Ugh! Whoa! ...Goggles.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You've got bigger problems than a girl on a scooter, Rex. First a flower shop, then gardening supplies. It's getting hungrier. Gentlemen, I suggest you get to the sewage-treatment plant as quickly as possible.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Why?
: '''Agent Six:''' Fertilizer, Rex, as in if those sprouts chow down on that much raw nourishment, we're in some deep...
: ''[Plant EVO bursts through a nearby wall]''
: '''Rex:''' ...Horse maneure. Hungry? Eat this!
: '''Agent Six:''' Holiday, get to the sewage plant. We'll meet you there after we clean up.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Clean up? I'd rather make a mess! Shoulda brought my chainsaw.
: '''Agent Six:''' Shoot the seedlings!
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Okay, this time I'm going to--
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Hey! Wait! Aw, man! Back off!
: ''[Rex panting]''
: '''Bobo:''' You went a little nuts there, buddy. I like it! But... Goggles?
: '''Rex:''' That EVO interrupted before I could finish the story.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Agent Six:''' Here, kid. Try these on.
: '''Rex:''' Um, so I can look like a total doofus?
: '''Agent Six:''' You have no idea how unique these goggles are, Rex. A reclusive weaponsmith in Zurich crafted this single pair before he turned EVO.
: '''Rex:''' Really? And then what happened to him?
: '''Agent Six:''' I did. He won't be crafting any more goggles.
: '''Rex:''' Cool!
: '''Agent Six:''' These are one-of-a-kind, Rex-- Special, for you.
: '''Bobo:''' What a bunch of chimp chips! Those goggles are-- Whoa!
: '''Rex:''' Wow. That is a lot of rampaging EVO.
: '''Bobo:''' Yeah. Lucky holiday-- She's right in the thick of it.
: '''Rex:''' Lucky?
: '''Bobo:''' She gets to try out all the special modifications I made to that sweet ride.
: ''[Dr. Holiday grunts]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Plant EVO has Holiday trapped inside the Mobile Command Center]'' Okay. Let's see how you like 10,000 volts of--
: ''[Holiday presses a button, and music starts playing]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Bobo's mix tape?! Who puts the stereo next to the weapons system?! One more time-- Big red button. Always go for the big red button. Unless you don't want to drain the batteries to zero.
: ''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Bobo, your improvements could use some improvements. Rex, if you're not too busy, I'd appreciate a little assistance.
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, ain't that your girlfriend?
: '''Agent Six:''' She can take care of herself, right, Rex?
: '''Rex:''' Right-- For now.
: ''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' That's more like it. Ungh! Fine! Let's see how you like this! I don't know what you just did, Rex, but thanks. Rex?
: '''Black Knight:''' I admit our last encounter didn't end well, but I think we need to work together on this one.
: '''Rex:''' You want to work together? We left Providence, remember?
: '''Black Knight:''' Rex--
: '''Rex:''' What happened to &quot;stay out of my way&quot;?
: '''Black Knight:''' Rex!
: '''Rex:''' So now when you need somebody to take out your trash, you can just forget that I quit your crummy organization?
: '''Black Knight:''' Yes, Rex, I can, because I don't let my emotions guide my choices. I only want what's best for Providence-- And the world.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, cool. Just wanted to hear you say it. Aah!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, the EVO is too big to cure without getting to its core.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah, well, I'm not doing much good out here!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' All those vines, the seedlings, everything-- They're just puppets to the plant. Stop those nanites in the core, and you cut the strings.
: '''Rex:''' On it! Huh?!
: '''Agent Six:''' Watch it, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' Whoa! All I want are my goggles. All I've wanted all day are my goggles, and this EVOs been blocking me over and over! Hey, Bobo, you know how to shoot one of these?
: '''Bobo:''' Eh, how hard could it be?
: '''Rex:''' Load me into this thing and point it right at that EVO's sweet spot. And hurry. I got better stuff to do.
: '''Bobo:''' You do know that's 30,000 gallons of raw sewage you're aimin' at?
: '''Rex:''' Don't remind me. Oh... Yuck! Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck!
: '''Agent Six:''' Elegant solution, Rex.
: '''Bobo:''' You don't smell elegant. You stink worse than me. I'm a little jealous.
: '''Black Knight:''' All right, Rex. Get to work.
: '''Rex:''' Work? What do you mean? I just served that vegetable!
: '''Black Knight:''' You cut the strings, but you still have to fix the puppets.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' She's right, Rex.
: '''Black Knight:''' You want to cure the world? Start curing.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex:''' Whoa, man, I'm beat! I don't think I can move another inch if you paid me.
: ''[Goggle girl rides past him]''
: '''Rex:''' Gotta move! See ya! Hey! Stop for a second! Six, I'm really starting to think this girl's got some kind of EVO action going on-- Teleporter, speedster, something.
: '''Goggle girl:''' Hey!
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Six, she's not just a teleporter. She can make doubles of herself-- Multiple abilities! She's an EVO, like me!
: '''Goggle girl:''' It's the skeevy guy who's been chasing me. He was chasing me, too. And me. What do you want?
: '''Rex:''' You took my goggles! I want them back!
: '''Goggle girl:''' Hey, Einstein, did you see our logo? That stands for &quot;Goggle Girl&quot;, as in the delivery service. You haven't ever heard of us?
: '''Rex:''' Um... No.
: '''Goggle girl:''' &quot;Nothing is cuter than a girl on a scooter.&quot; Kind of hard to miss.
: ''[Goggle girl groans]''
: '''Goggle girl:''' It's the worst slogan ever.
: '''Rex:''' But-- But my goggles!
: '''Goggle girl:''' Part of our costume. The boss buys them in bulk, along with these cheesy wigs he makes us wear. It's kind of lame.
: '''Rex:''' In bulk?! Those goggles?! But... They're one-of-a-kind! They're special! They're-- They're... I'll just go now. Nope. Nope. Definitely not.
: '''Agent Six:''' I still don't know why those goggles were so important to you.
: '''Rex:''' You gave to me, Six. It was the first present, the first nice thing that I remember getting since you found me. You said they were special, and that made me feel special.
: '''Six:''' Yes, about those goggles... Apparently, according to Bobo, I may have misled you. There was dozens of them in the Providence service bay.
: '''Rex:''' I knew the story was fake, but you told it because you cared about me. That's what made them special.
: '''Agent Six:''' I see.
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, champ. You got a package.
: '''Goggle girl:''' Sign, please.
: '''Agent Six:''' It's for you. From us. Just open it.
: '''Rex:''' My goggles!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Better. We commissioned an enhanced version.
: '''Rex:''' Cool! Infrared... Microscopic... Nanovision?! Thanks, you guys. You really are one-of-a-kind.
: '''Bobo:''' Those are great, but these are me.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' I just need to hold on to them for a few more hours while I run a full diagnostic.
: '''Rex:''' A few hours?! I just got them! Aw!
: '''Bobo:''' Here-- Because I care.
: '''Goggle girl:''' They actually look kinda cute.
: '''Rex:''' Hey, doc! No rush!
: '''Bobo:''' Ain't love grand?

===Black and White===
: '''Calan:''' Be advised, we've got activity. Major activity. Stop right there, or we'll shoot! Don't make me do it.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, I know what you're thinking, but this is totally not what it looks like.
: '''Calan:''' Calan to command, tell Black Knight-- We have apprehended the intruders. Repeat, we got'em.
: '''Rex:''' No! Get out of my head! Stop it! Stop! Stop with the talking! A dream. Oh, thank you! For a second, I swore that I heard his voice. It was almost like he was in the-- Room. Huh?!
: '''White Knight:''' I was wondering if I was gonna have to send the monkey in with a bucket of water. But I thought, &quot;why should he have all the fun?&quot; Five minutes-- Situation room. Consider this your wake-up call.
: '''Rex:''' Aren't you supposed to be playing dead? You're lucky Black Knight doesn't know you're here.
: '''White Knight:''' Black Knight thinks what I want her to think. With the installation of the new regime, I suspected that there was more going on at providence than just this new control protocol. I decided to test my hypothesis. I needed time to operate freely without prying eyes. So I went off the grid.
: '''Rex:''' And from the smell of it, you haven't changed out of your suit since then.
: ''[Bobo sniffs]''
: '''White Knight:''' I've been busy. I've been tracking their operations. They involve familiar locales and even more familiar machinery.
: '''Rex:''' You still use a camera with film? Do they even make that stuff anymore?
: '''White Knight:''' What they don't make are machines like these. This is the wreckage of Rylander's lab.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Are they doing what I think they're doing?
: '''Rex:''' Do what?
: '''White Knight:''' It appears that this new Providence is restarting the nanite program.
: '''Rex:''' There is no way my brother would help restart something that nearly destroyed the world. There's got to be a good explanation. We should just ask him.
: '''White Knight:''' We can't risk direct contact. We need to infiltrate Providence, download her computer banks, and assess how far along they are before we take any other actions.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Over there.
: '''Rex:''' Just saying there's more here than meets the eye. Whoa!
: '''Six:''' Breaking into Providence? That's a big move, even for you. Black Knight is sure to have enhanced the security systems. We may be able to breach the perimeter defenses, but once inside, we'd be blind targets.
: '''White Knight:''' You'd be right if we were playing on her board.
: '''Six:''' Forgive me for doubting you.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, is someone gonna tell me what these are for? This is so not going to work.
: '''Six:''' Trust the plan.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Okay, so, maybe they worked. But how'd you get them to do it on cue?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' All a matter of timing. Assuming we get past the outer perimeter, securing the data is a completely different story. Providence encrypts all data. We need to disable multiple units before we can download anything off the mainframe. Doing that undetected is ''[sighs]'' insane.
: '''Rex:''' Finally, a voice of reason. I'm calling my brother. Took the lady with three phds to realize what I've been saying all along is right. Hey, that costs money! I'm over my minutes!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' How did you... This is...
: '''Six:''' Doable.
: '''Rex:''' Do what? What is that? A secret passage.
: '''White Knight:''' When they built the tower, I had them install, these-- Upper-management corridors.
: '''Six:''' In the old days, they called passages like these the king's road.
: '''White Knight:''' From here, we face some unknowns. Stick to the plan. Or we could die.
: '''Rex:''' What?! Me?! What about you?! Part of the plan was to do this quietly.
: '''Calan:''' Stop right there, or we'll shoot!
: ''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Here we go. Ok, I know what you're thinking, but this is totally not what it looks like.
: '''White Knight:''' Stand down, Rex.
: ''[Calan laughs]''
: '''Calan:''' Welcome back, sir. We've been waiting for you.
: '''Rex:''' Que, huh?
: '''Calan:''' Sorry for the scare, Rex. We couldn't guarantee the Black Knight wasn't taper our communications. It was best to keep radio silence. In any case-- Say hello to your man on the inside. He've got a bomb! All units, fall back, fall back! Captain Calan, do you copy? Report.
: '''White Knight:''' Ready for a repeate performance?
: '''Calan:''' Ready when you are, sir. Good luck, everyone. They're headed for the... petting zoo.
: '''Holiday:''' Here it is. Just like he said.
: '''White Knight:''' This is the Hive. The central nervous system of the entire complex. An electric field protects the inner chambers. We'll need the circuit bandage.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' I've got an idea, but you'll have to go in partially naked. We've got eyes everywhere.
: '''Six:''' Good. Knight and I will handle the encryption towers. You know what to do with this.
: '''Rex:''' No sweat. I'm on it. Just have to make one quick detour. Bro? You in here? Oh, no. No, no, no!
: '''Caesar:''' Rex, is that you? What brings you here?
: ''[Six groans]''
: '''Six:''' Partially naked. Tower one clear. Proceed to next phase.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Got it. Redirecting the data flow now.
: '''Calan:''' Anyone hear for the monkey?
: '''Rex:''' Huh?!
: '''Bobo:''' Offical pet desk. Keep your distance.
: '''Rex:''' Is that Dr. Rylander?
: '''Caesar:''' It is. Well, almost. After you brought back Van Kleiss, I couldn't help but to wonder if perhaps I might do the same for him. Unfortunately, Van Kleiss was already great in tune the nanites. As you can see, Dr. Rylander-- wasn't.
: '''Rex:''' Ok, whatever. Listen, I'm here on a secret mission.
: '''Caesar:''' Secret? 
: '''Rex:''' White Knight said--
: '''Caesar:''' White Knight is alive?
: '''Rex:''' If you can call him that. Anyway, he says... you might wanna sit down for this part? That Black Knight is restarting the nanite program. Don't you think that's messed up?
: '''Caesar:''' On the contrary. I'm in charge of it.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Commencing download in T-2 minutes. White Knight has infiltrated sector three. You're right. They are monitoring our movements. How did you know?
: '''White Knight:''' It's what I would do. Now start evac protocols.
: '''Black Knight:''' I've torn this facility apart looking for that? When I found it, I still couldn't get to it. Bio-feed security system-- Clever. You have to be nanite-free to open it. I guessed you weren't dead. I knew if I let enough info leak about what we're doing here, you've showed up, eventually. I'll take it.
: '''White Knight:''' You can try.
: '''Black Knight:''' What ever you say. You were the boss.
: '''White Knight:''' That's not a providence toy.
: '''Black Knight:''' A woman is entitled her secrets. Especially when those secrets keep me alive.
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''White Knight:''' Ohh! What I could've done with you if I hired you first.
: '''Black Knight:''' Don't fool yourself, White.
: '''White Knight:''' Ohh, ohh, ohh!
: '''Black Knight:''' You were bandage at best. the Consortium knew that you weren't the leader for the future. Stand down, old man!
: '''White Knight:''' I've got a few secrets of my own, kid. After all, this was my office. Consortium or not, it will be again.
: '''Black Knight:''' Ugh!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Be advised, they're on to us. Making for the rendezvous.
: '''Six:''' I'll take my swords back now. Please.
: '''Rex:''' What are you doing, helping Black Knight? She's obviously the more psycho of the two knights.
: '''Caesar:''' I'm not helping the Black Knight do anything. I'm trying to fix things. The day everything changed. We never imagined what would happen when we released the nanites.
: '''Rex:''' Release them?! You caused the nanite event?!
: '''Caesar:''' It was the only way we were going to save the world.
: '''Rex:''' You unleashed the worst man-made disaster the world has ever seen!! You've ruined countless lives!! How can you say that you saved anything?!
: '''Caesar:''' You weren't there... not in any way that mattered! If we hadn't--
: '''Rex:''' Hold that thought. Here, doggy, doggy.
: '''Six:''' Excessive?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Sweet, actually. Now you're overdoing it.
: '''White Knight:''' ''[panting]'' Are we finished here? ''[screams]'' Careful, Black. Your council wouldn't be too pleased if you destroyed the very thing you're after.
: '''Black Knight:''' If doesn't have to be like this, White! The Consortium may have lost faith in you, but you know my methods are right. Come back. Under my protection, who knows? There may even be a promotion in it for you.
: '''White Knight:''' You would turn on your own masters?
: '''Black Knight:''' For that kind of power, wouldn't you?
: '''White Knight:''' You would turn on your own masters?
: '''Black Knight:''' For that kind of power, wouldn't you?
: '''White Knight:''' I am going to stop the Consortium. If you or Providence gets in my way, this tape goes public.
: '''Black Knight:''' Wait!
: '''Caesar:''' Rex, stop! You're destroying my work!
: '''Rex:''' Your work is done! And so are we! I got it. Time to blow this--
: '''Black Knight:''' Stand down, Rex. Face it, kiddo... today is not your day.
: '''Rex:''' Actually, today's wednesday, and wednesday means fiesta night at the cafeteria. Getting in is going to be cake... very dangerous cake. Any bright ideas on how we're getting out?
: '''Bobo:''' I got one word for you, kid-- Plumbing.
: '''Rex:''' I got it. Time to blow this...
: '''Bobo:''' Taco stand.
: '''White Knight:''' Aah!
: '''Bobo:''' Me and Van Gogh, unappreciated in our time.
: '''Rex:''' All of that-- Was for that?! I got nanites, billions of 'em.
: '''White Knight:''' Not like this one, Rex. This is a Meta Nanite. One of several. Hardwired into its design is a program for the original Dominion Code.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Dominion Code? I thought that was a myth.
: '''White Knight:''' I can assure you, doctor, it is very real. Each one gives its host control over different building blocks of the universe- matter, antimatter, elemental, space, time, reality. With the complete code, you can control them. And through them, you control ''everything''. In sort, it's the God Code.
: '''Rex:''' The Consortium want to be...gods?
: '''White Knight:''' If it wasn't for the original Nanite Event scattering the Metas across the globe, they may have already succeeded. The situation has changed, people. Black Knight has been searching the globe for the other Meta-Nanites. She needs them all to complete the Master Program. As long as we're keeping her secret, she'll hold off. But sooner or later, she'll be coming for this with the full power of Providence and the Consortium at her back. So... if you want to move on, forget what I've told you.
: '''Rex:''' You're not getting rid of us that easily, old man. My parents died for this. Black Knight wants war, war she gets.

===Deadzone===
: '''Holiday:''' &quot;You cannot let him out of your sight, Rex. Don't you see why Black Knight wants him? He's the ultimate insurance against any E.V.O.&quot;
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Not just any. Me.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Black Knight:''' &quot;Since the search for Feakins is going nowhere, we have no choice but to become much more aggressive with Rex.&quot;

===Assault on Abysus===
: '''Diane Farrah:''' Through research and hard work, Providence has turned the curse of the EVO into a blessing. One that will serve mankind. Science and compassion have created a new future for all EVOs. A future filled with happiness and hope.
: '''Black Pawn:''' You? Seen some EVOs pass through here?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
*Rex and Circe finally admit their true feelings for one another. Unfortunately, there was not enough episodes to explore their romance further.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: ''[Somewhere in [[w:Hong Kong|Hong Kong, China]]'']''
: '''Circe:''' Okay. They're gone.
: '''Skywwd:''' For now. Get out of here, Circe. Run!
: '''Circe:''' I'm not leaving you guys.
: '''Skywwd:''' You can pass as human. Go-- Before Providence gets you too.
: '''Black Pawn:''' The girl! She's with them!
: '''Skwwyd:''' Run!
: '''Rex:''' Hmm? What's up?
: '''Circe:''' You're the only person I could turn to.
: '''Rex:''' Circe?
: '''Circe:''' I don't know. That's the hardest part.
: '''Rex:''' You did what you had to do.
: '''Circe:''' I left them there, Rex. Our friends. Providence has to be stopped. Someone needs to do something.
: '''Rex:''' ''[puts his arms around Circe to comfort her]'' We are.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Am I disturbing you two?
: '''Rex:''' No.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' White Knight wants to talk with you.
: '''Rex:''' Ugh. What's he gonna yell at me for this time?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' No, I meant Circe. He wants to talk to her.
: '''Circe:''' Providence has been hunting these down, too?
: '''White Knight:''' You didn't tell her about them, Rex?
: '''Rex:''' I thought the Master Control Nanites were supposed to be top secret.
: '''White Knight:''' She has to know if she's going to lead the mission.
: '''Rex:''' Her? That was supposed to be my mission.
: '''White Knight:''' It's no one's mission. It's about getting the job done.
: '''Circe:''' Why me?
: '''White Knight:''' Intelligence indicates that Providence has targeted a Master Control Nanite in Abysus. In Van Kleiss' old castle, to be more precise. You're the only one with the knowledge to get us in there.
: '''Rex:''' I've been there before. How hard could it be? Circe, you don't have to.
: '''Circe:''' If it helps stop Black Knight in Providence, I'm in.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, Doc. We made it. The new power suit gave me more range, just like you said.
: ''[Circe whistles]''
: '''Circe:''' Thanks, Banak. We're trying to keep a low profile. Don't tell anyone, okay?
: '''Rex:''' Good thing you knew the secret whistle or we might have been rooting around forever.
: ''[Rex chuckles]''
: '''Rex:''' Get it? &quot;Root&quot;? Uh... This can't be easy coming back here. I owe you.
: '''Circe:''' Forget it. We're even. I used you in the past, now you and your friends are using me.
: '''Rex:''' Is there some sort of problem between you and me?
: '''Circe:''' There's nothing between you and me. Just the mission. I don't have good memories of this place. Let's just leave it at that, okay?
: '''Rex:''' Fine. I'm surprised we haven't run into-- Ugh!
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Skalamander:''' Traitor! Stop her!
: '''Circe:''' Aah!
: '''Rex:''' Can you chill?! There's no time for this. Who's leading you now that Van Kleiss is gone? I need to speak to your leader. Figures. Biowolf, we have a problem. And... I need your help.
: '''Biowulf:''' I will listen.
: '''Rex:''' Great, because--
: '''Biowulf:''' Only after you. earn the right-- Through combat.
: ''[Biowulf growls]''
: ''[Rex spits]''
: '''Rex:''' At least Van Kleiss was civilized. Buckle up, dog boy.
: '''Biowulf:''' You may speak. This nanite you want-- It's not here. None of us have seen it up in the castle or the blast source.
: '''Rex:''' I didn't say up. It's down. White Knight thinks it's under the castle. Some other secure lab area.
: '''Biowulf:''' The primary chamber?
: '''Circe:''' It's under the castle? Van Kleiss always said it was forbidden for us to go there.
: '''Rex:''' You think he remembered to tell Black Knight that? Let me take it out of here.
: '''Biowulf:''' No! You're a traitor to your own kind. A lapdog to these humans. I've heard enough!
: '''Rex:''' All of us will fall-- All EVOs-- If she gets it. Black Knight is worse than you know. If I don't get the nanite out of here, Providence will take it.
: '''Biowulf:''' Providence! This is Abysus, the heart of the EVO world. Providence wouldn't dare.
: '''Circe:''' The sentries have spotted something.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. I wonder who.
: '''Providence Soldier:''' Black Knight, the assault forces are in place.
: '''Black Knight:''' The field is yours. We've secured the borders. No chance White Knight and his team will get in the country to interfere.
: '''Biowulf:''' The castle is surrounded.
: '''Rex:''' Standard operating procedure for Providence is to secure the perimeter, then close for attack. Black Knight will have snuck forces around back.
: '''Skalamander:''' How should we counter?
: '''Rex:''' Easy.
: '''Biowulf:''' You take your nanite. I'll decide how to deal with the invaders.
: '''Black Pawn:''' Deploy the collars. Rise. Forward. Attack.
: '''Rex:''' The nanite event blew away half the castle. This must have been deep enough to survive it. Huh? You hear that?
: '''Circe:''' No. Hear what?
: '''Rex:''' Uh... Nothing. This place would make a great rec room. Maybe a karaoke machine over there--
: '''Circe:''' Van Kleiss would send volunteers down here to try and get in. None of them ever came back.
: '''Rex:''' Well... That's encouraging.
: '''Circe:''' What is it?
: '''Rex:''' They're... I-I think they're nanites. They're following our lights. They can't see in the dark. I have a plan. Lead them back.
: '''Circe:''' ''[concerned]'' Rex?
: '''Rex:''' When I say &quot;roll,&quot; roll.
: '''Circe:''' What?!
: '''Rex:''' Roll! Circe, sing!
: ''[Circe uses her ultrasonic blasts on the EVOs and beams at Rex.]''
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Rex:''' We always made a good team.
: '''Circe:''' It won't hold them long.
: '''Rex:''' You think this is why Van Kleiss always wanted me-- So I could get him in here?
: '''Biowulf:''' Providence has breached the castle. We can't hold our position much longer.
: '''Rex:''' Go. I'll get the Master-Control Nanite. ''[Notices how worried Circe is about him probably not returning]'' This isn't Hong Kong. I'll be okay. I'll meet up with you soon.
: '''Biowulf:''' They've turned our own people against us.
: '''Circe:''' Let me see what I can do.
: ''[Circe uses her ultrasonic bursts on several collared EVOs]''.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: ''[Circe gasping]''
: '''Circe:''' So many.
: '''Biowulf:''' You can't stop the ones they've collared.
: '''Circe:''' I can go down trying.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Black Pawn:''' Her sonics are disrupting the offensive.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Black Pawn:''' Hyah! Unh!
: '''Biowulf:''' If we can't defeat them, we'll take down as many as we can fighting.
: '''Circe:''' This isn't one battle. It's a war. And we can't let it end here before Rex has the Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Biowulf:''' What, then?
: '''Circe:''' Tactical retreat.
: ''[Circe whistles]''
: '''Rex:''' Huh. Dad.
: '''Providence Soldier:''' Outer rooms of the castle secured.
: '''Black Pawn:''' I don't need you here, Black Knight. It's only a matter of time. We will take the castle piece by piece.
: ''[Skalamander growling]''
: '''Black Pawn:''' You are ours now. Down.
: ''[Skalamander grunting]''
: '''Skalamander:''' Rex is here. He will make you bow to us!
: '''Black Knight:''' This is all a diversion. Find Rex before he gets the Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Black Pawn:''' Yes, Ma'am.
: '''Black Knight:''' Either you do it or I will. I'm on my way.
: '''Rex:''' This place... Rylander had the same type of lab.
: '''Soldier:''' Security system engaged.
: '''Rex:''' No!
: '''Soldier:''' Intruder. Provide authorized identity or be terminated. Identify. Identify. Identify. Identify.
: '''Rex:''' Aah! I'm Rex! Rex Salazar!
: '''Soldier:''' Salazar genetype-- Accepted.
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex:''' There you are, you little troublemaker. You're coming home with the good guys. Uhh. Weird. Uh... I don't suppose you're looking for the karaoke machine? Running into you-- What a coincidence. Come down here a lot? Whoa! Missed me.
: '''Black Pawn:''' I have the nanite. Keep the boy busy while I get it to Black Knight.
: '''Rex:''' No!
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Rex:''' You two sure know how to make an entrance.
: '''Circe:''' The others are getting hammered by Provindence. They're barely holding them off in the dungeon.
: '''Rex:''' Gee! Van Kleiss has a dungeon. What a surprise.
: '''Biowulf:''' This is no joke. They might die because I came down here to save you.
: '''Rex:''' I won't let them get taken. I promise you that. But I need you to let me call the shots.
: ''[Biowulf sighs]''
: '''Biowulf:''' Very well.
: '''Rex:''' Circ, dungeon left or right?
: '''Circe:''' Left. The dungeon's the other way.
: '''Rex:''' I'm not looking for the dungeon. I'm looking for the scouts. : '''Black Pawn:''' Nothing.
: '''Rex:''' Well, maybe a little something.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Rex:''' Scouts. Classic Providence tactics-- So they don't get ambushed. Uhh. What is this place?
: '''Biowulf:''' The old reservoir. It goes to the river.
: '''Rex:''' Perfect. ''[deep voice]'' Scout to command. West wing, reservoir-- We've found a back way onto what must be the main EVO force. It's five times the size of what you're fighting.
: '''Black Pawn:''' Roger, scout. All forces, withdraw from dungeon siege. Report to west wing, reservoir. Ambush maneuver lambda.
: '''Rex:''' ''[normal voice]'' Get your troops. It's bath time.
: '''Biowulf:''' Now you bow to Rex!
: '''Rex:''' The Providence goons are contained, Biowulf. They shouldn't be any more trouble. And I got the Master-Control Nanite. Looks like mission accomplished.
: '''Circe:''' Rex, I--
: ''[She and Rex cling to each other as the castle begins shaking.]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Rex, order your friends to surrender. You're all under Providence custody. I always knew it might be impossible to capture the Master-Control Nanite in the heart of the nanite infestation. So the solution was to remove it.
: '''Circe:''' It's Hong Kong all over again.
: '''Rex:''' No. We can fight. We'll double back and-- A-and then--
: '''Biowulf:''' Go! Get the nanite out of here!
: '''Rex:''' No! I promised you!
: '''Biowulf:''' You were right. That nanite is more important than anyone here. Including myself. I am the leader. I give the orders. Run!
: ''[Rex panting]''
: '''Rex:''' They were counting on me. I don't want to leave them.
: '''Circe:''' I did what I had to do. You do what you have to. I want you to know, all this was never about me just using you.
: ''[Circe gasps]''
: ''[Finally admits her true romantic feelings for Rex in the form of a passionate kiss. She then pushes a shocked Rex off the ledge, so he could escape; and her getting collared and captured in his stead. She smiled with tears in her eyes, with the promise that she would be okay.]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' ''[burdened by Circe admitting her intense love for him and sacrifice]'' We all make sacrifices for the things we care about-- The people we love. But when the stakes are this high, who can we trust? What would that power do to anyone who had it? They attacked Abysus. What's stopping them from attacking us for these nanites?
: '''White Knight:''' They will-- Sooner or later. That's why I want to turn the tables on them first.
: '''Rex:''' You know how to do that so we survive in one piece?
: '''White Knight:''' Not yet.

===Remote Control===
: '''Cricket:''' If you think we're going to thank you for getting us out of there, Quarry...
: '''Quarry:''' I think you're going to do exactly as I say.
: (''Activates the mind-control collar on her neck'')
: '''Cricket:''' AH!!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Cricket, it's me! Rex! Used to a crush on me!?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Let them go. They'll lead us straight to Quarry.
: '''Cricket:''' &quot;Used to have a crush&quot;?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Cricket:''' You know how collared E.V.O.s follow kind of like a robot. with these collars, it's worse. It's like you're a remote-controlled robot.
: '''Rex:''' That is a nasty hack.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' Your friends are very valuable to me as are you.
: '''Rex:''' Like the new look- strapping.
: '''Quarry:''' Let's just say I had to find a way to &quot;keep it together&quot; after my visit to Abyuss. Just one more thing you owe me for and you know how much I like a balanced book.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' You'll be the crown jewel of my E.V.O. army, Rex. I may just make you my own personal slave.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' That collar suits you, Rex. Wish I had one for you back in the old days. Would've saved me a lot of trouble.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' The arcade- all those kids.
: '''Quarry:''' those brats were born to play games, which is what they think their doing. And I have your people to thank for the tech. That brother of yours is quite the wiz kid.
: '''Rex:''' Caesar would never...
: '''Cricket:''' Forget about Caesar, Rex! You know what you got to do!
: '''Rex:''' These guys will shred you if I leave!
: '''Tuck:''' We got this, Rex! Go!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' Consider the fact that you made me like this while I'm crushing you.

===A Brief History of Time===
: '''Van Kleiss:''' 4.000 years from my destination, and I've run out of of time. I've scarcely completed the vessel which shall deliver me to my own era. Gharun-Set, activate the traps-- Quickly! My greatest creation-- So useful to me, but too dangerous to roam free. If only I had time to destroy him, as I should. But I have a more pressing death I must prevent. My own. AAAAAAAAAAAH!
: '''Rex:''' Kind of defeating the whole stealth element of a stealth suit, Bobo.
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, now was I supposed to know that ghanoush went bad?
: '''Rex:''' Maybe because you found it in a garbage can.
: '''Bobo:''' On top of a garbage can.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Holiday to Rex. Are you at the site?
: '''Rex:''' There is not site, remember? Black Knight blew the pace to kingdom come.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Yet it's still guarded. And thanks to the data you stole from Providence, we know why.
: '''Rex:''' Van Kleiss back in time? I still find it hard to believe.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You were sent six months into the future, Rex. It stands to reason that the reverse is possible.
: '''Rex:''' Well, if you expect to find him here, maybe we should check the mummy museum. We're sensing nanites-- Definitely V.K.'s. They've been dead a long time.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Over 4,000 years. I'm also detecting tachyons-- Quantum particles that travel in time. I think it's clear what he was making.
: '''Bobo:''' A latrine?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' A time machine.
: '''Rex:''' No way he pulled it off! If mister ego made it back to here and now, we'd know about it.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Some of these nanites are considerably younger. That means he was there in two different time periods.
: '''Rex:''' Time travel gives me a headache. Just tell me-- Where is he now?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' The more accurate question is, when is he?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' AAAAAAH!
: ''[Van Kleiss gasping]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh! The ordeal is... draining. But now, back in my own time, I can replenish my nanite reserves and--
: '''Gladiator #1:''' Quis es tu?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I recognize the language, of course-- Classical latin. Qui-- Q-Qui annus est?
: '''Gladiator #1:''' What year is it? You dare question a captain of the imperial guard? Aegyptus is a roman Providence! Answer! Who are you?
: '''Gladiator #2:''' Don't bother-- He's clearly sun-mad.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' The dialect, the dress-- This is the second century A.D. A mere 2,000 years has passed. I'm only halfway home!
: '''Gladiator #1:''' Another escaped slave. Finish him and be done with it.
: ''[Gladiator #2 grunts]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It was all the fight I could muster. I had no way to replace the nanites I'd spent in the journey, and my gauntlet had yet to recharge those that remained.
: '''Gladiator #2:''' This one shows spirit. He'll bring a good price in the arena.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' OOMPH!
: ''[Van Kleiss groans]''
: '''Gladiator #2:''' Save your strength.
: '''Gladiator #3:''' Where you're going, you'll need it.
: ''[Van Kleiss slurps]''
: ''[Van Kleiss gulps]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I intend to. Of the mysterious force, there is no sign. Yet I sense it is close-- Pursuing me even across the centuries. I am convinced it is a manifestation of time itself. My presence is a violation of physics-- An imbalance which the time stream seeks to correct... By wiping me from existence. But of this, I am certain-- If I do not return to my own time, it will surely destroy me.
: '''Gladiator #1:''' You are fortunate, slave. To die in the arena is a great honor.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' An honor I look forward to bestowing.
: ''[Gladiator #1 laughs]''
: '''Gladiator #1:''' You see? Spirit!
: ''[Van Kleiss groans]''
: '''Gladiator #3:''' Put on a good show, little man, and I promise to make your end a painless one.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Indeed?
: ''[Gladiator #3 grunts]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I, on the other hand, make no such promise.
: ''[Gladiator #3 grunting]''
: ''[Van Kleiss grunting]''
: '''Gladiator #3:''' AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
: ''[Gladiator #3 groans]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' One against so many? Hardly seems fair. For them.
: '''Gladiator #4:''' ARRRGHHHH!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ordinarily, I'd say &quot;take me to your leader,&quot; but I believe he's already here.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Great warrior... Never have I seen such a battle. I am...
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Septimius Severus, 21st emperor of Rome, founder of the severan dynasty. And, as I recall, you poisoned your own commanding officer to get his position... And wear only boots to conceal a prodigious clubfoot.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Are you a man... Or a God?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I find both labels rather limiting. Now, then, you are going to give me whatever I require, starting with a quiet place to work. I, in return, shall ensure the growth and security of your reign as emperor. You may call me Van Kleiss.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Whatever your desire, great Vanklios.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Actually, it's... Got a rather nice ring.
: '''Rex:''' What's with this guy? Gets a portrait done in every time period?
: '''Bobo:''' Mm. ''[muffled]'' Truly a nutjob for the ages. Mm. Speaking of nuts... Want some?
: '''Rex:''' You've been dumpster-diving again?
: '''Bobo:''' I prefer &quot;foraging.&quot;
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. Nice sleuthing there, doc.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Nanites decay at a measurable half-life. I set our sat-net to do a global scan for the same frequency-- Ergo, Rome.
: '''Rex:''' Great. You scan for the next stop, we'll grab a pizza.
: '''Bobo:''' Pass. I'm experiencing inexpicable gastric distress.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, it would take months to scan the entire spectrum. You need to find the next decay frequency.
: '''Rex:''' Kind of like nanite connect-the-dots! Can I do it with someone else?
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, quiet, you! Rah!
: '''Rex:''' This goose chase just got a little wilder. My brother's here.
: '''Caesar:''' Caesar to Black. We've detected paleo-nanites. Tachyon readings negative. We're moving to the next hot stop.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Tachyons-- They want Van Kleiss' time machine. Follow them.
: '''Rex:''' Come on.
: '''Bobo:''' Can you give me a teeny sec? I gotta find the little gladiators' room.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Advances in the last two millenia have allowed me to complete my lab in weeks instead of months. Restrict the flow! Do you want to overload the power cells? Meanwhile, my own nanite supply continues to dwindle.
: ''[Septimius Severus panting]''
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Great Vanklios, protect me!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I've divulged metallurgy and tactics beyond your day. No man may threaten your rule.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' This is no man-- But an apparition!
: ''[Septimius Severus grunts]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' What apparition? Speak, parasite!
: '''Septimius Severus:''' A spirit of doom! Numerous sightings-- The insulare, the rostra, the forum. Listen! It comes! It comes!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Fool. It only wants me.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Ugh!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I release you. Go start a few legends.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
: ''[Septimius Severus gasps]''
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Be gone! I beg of you! Aah!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, those stress lines-- It's the same pattern we saw in Egypt.
: '''Black Knight:''' Report.
: '''Caesar:''' These aqueducts are truly marvels of roman engineering.
: '''Black Knight:''' Have you picked up the next decay frequency?
: '''Caesar:''' Oh-- That. Yes. Uplinking to our global net. Odd. These tachyons seems unrelated to--
: '''Black Knight:''' We have the next target. Scandinavia. Move out. White Knight may have people on the trail. I expect you to do whatever it takes to procure the objective.
: '''Rex:''' Shh!
: '''Caesar:''' I've initiated the same steps as in Egypt! Come along.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, we need that decay frequency.
: '''Rex:''' Just one small problem, doc. This place... is toast.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex? Bobo? Respond!
: '''Rex:''' We're okay, doc. Not a mark on us.
: '''Bobo:''' Same can't be said for my stealth suit. Whoa!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: ''[Rex and Bobo gasps]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' So many lives... It's become a blur. I don't know who I am anymore. Only that I must sail onward, ever onwoard down the river of time. Never resting, always moving. Further draining my nanite reserves beyond my ability to replenish. And each re-emergence, I am pursued by the nameless force. I now know it's personal. I am a virus-- An infection of space-time. Call it what you like. This is time's antibody. Whether I can borne home or drowned in its currents, this is my final journey.
: '''Rex:''' Hurry! I'm not sure if we here followed.
: '''Bobo:''' I'm sure.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Don't shoot! It's me.
: '''Rex:''' Holiday? Shouldn't you be at the plant, connecting the dots?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' No more dots to connect. The trail ends here. And... I'm reading a humanoid form inside.
: '''Rex:''' I'm confused. Is it a time machine or isn't it?
: '''Caesar:''' It's not a time machine. Are those really necessary?
: '''Rex:''' No way you're getting this time machine, bro!
: '''Caesar:''' I don't want it. And it's not a time machine.
: '''Bobo:''' Well, then, what is it? A meat locker for cold cuts?
: '''Caesar:''' Surprisingly close. We use this technique to transfer unstable nanites. It puts them into a state of dormancy.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Of course. It's a hibernation chamber.
: '''Caesar:''' Only his nanites were dormant. There would still be neuron flow.
: '''Rex:''' Mind telling me what that means, exactly?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' He was... Aware. The whole time, for hundreds of years.
: '''Caesar:''' He would have felt every minute pass.
: '''Rex:''' No way! He's totally a mummy!
: '''Rex and Bobo:''' Wah!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Run! It's coming! It's coming?!
: '''Rex and Bobo:''' Wah!
: '''Rex:''' Easy, easy, Van Kleiss. You're back-- Back in your own time.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' No! No, it'll find me! It always does! You must protect me.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Tachyon readings off the chart! Rex, you can't affect that thing. I don't know what can.
: '''Caesar:''' It's a field of pure tachyons. I've got to get a sample.
: '''Rex:''' Oh, no, you don't!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I'm back! Back in my own time! You shall not have me?! OHHHH!
: '''Bobo:''' Settle down, Van Winkle.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex shudders]''
: '''Rex:''' Oh, no. It couldn't be. I need some way to contain it!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Tachyons can't be contained!
: '''Caesar:''' Yes, they can. Rex!
: ''[Caesar grunts]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, it's too risky!
: '''Rex:''' But I know what this is. Correction-- I know who this is.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex:''' Aah!
: ''[Rex groaning]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' It's... Breach.
: '''Rex:''' Breach. Breach! It's me-- Rex.
: '''Breach:''' Rex? Are you real... Or a dream?
: ''[Rex laughs]''
: '''Rex:''' Yeah, yeah, I'm-- I'm real.
: '''Breach:''' I was everywhere-- Everywhen. But I was nothing-- An emptiness, needing to be filled.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' The amp pack. Van Kleiss controlled it. When his nanites were active, Breach was drawn into his timeframe.
: ''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
: '''Caesar:''' The final joining would have destroyed them both.
: '''Breach:''' Guess I should say thanks.
: '''Rex:''' Hey, what are friends for? Um, we are still friends... Right?
: '''Caesar:''' You did well, little bro.
: '''Rex:''' And you have your time machine that... isn't a time machine. Everybody goes home happy.
: '''Caesar:''' That? A curiosity-- True. But it was never our goal.
: ''[Van Kleiss shivering]''
: ''[Van Kleiss chuckles]''
: '''Rex:''' Van Kleiss?! All this for him? what, they're gonna put him in jail?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' It's Providence, Rex. That's their jurisdiction.
: '''Caesar:''' No need to worry, little brother. He's going to be well supervised.
: '''Rex:''' Caesar, what is going on!?
: '''Caesar:''' Justice.
: '''Bobo:''' Two words-- Crème Brûlée. Ooh. Right after I make a french connection.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Welcome back, Van Kleiss. You look terrible. Ordinarily, I'd say get some rest, but you've had enough of that, I suppose.
: ''[Van Kleiss chuckles]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Pull it together. We have work to do. Do you know who I am?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Yes. I know who you are. It's been a long time. A very, very long time.

===Mind Games===
: '''Rex''': Yeah, I wouldn't be so sure of that.
: '''Six''': I told you not to get involved, Rex. You're not at full strength.
: '''Rex''': What was I supposed to do-- Just leave it?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Six has a point, Rex. You're pushed to the edge lately. You can't see everyone.
: '''Rex''': Not listening! Don't worry, dude. I'll have you out of here before you can say-- Circe?!
: '''Circe''': Hey, Rex. Rex! Aaaah!
: ''[Circe sighs]''
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Rex! Rex, do you read? What's going on? Your bios are low.
: '''Rex''': Leave her alone! You okay? 
: '''Circe''': I think so. We have to go.
: '''Rex''': Think that's your cue. Hang on. I think I got it. Ow!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex''': Hate this things.
: '''Circe''': Try wearing one.
: '''Rex''': I have. So, what happened? I thought Providence had you at Abysus.
: '''Circe''': I got away.
: '''Rex''': What about the Pack?
: '''Circe''': The Pack? I-- Don't know. Things are bad out there, Rex. I've been on the run for weeks. Providence has been stepping up their capture orders. I think something big is going down.
: '''Rex''': Tell me about it. Listen, I know we're gonna want to say no, but with everything that's going on...
: '''Circe''': I should stay at the plant. It's safer, right?
: '''Rex''': Wow, that was-- Easy. I had a whole speech and everything.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Well, everything checks out. You're the picture of health. I wish you'd let me do some more thorough scans, through.
: '''Six''': How was it you said you got away?
: '''Circe''': It's a long story. You guys have bigger things to worry about than me... like the Meta-Nanites. Did you get the one from Abysus? Have you found anymore?
: '''Rex''': Ugh, who cares? Let's go do something fun. You want to put Bobo' hand in shaving cream?
: ''[Circe yawns]''
: '''Circe''': Actually, Rex, I'm kind of tired. I thing I might just crash if that's cool.
: '''Rex''': Oh... yeah. Stupid of me. You, uh, get some sleep. Hey, doc. What are you doing?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Rex. I was just... working. What are you doing up?
: '''Rex''': Ah, it's... stupid.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Yeah, probably. But... go ahead.
: '''Rex''': I'm... excited. Since I got breached, everything's been so crazy.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Since you got breached? Right.
: '''Rex''': But with Circe back, I'm starting to think maybe things will turn out okay.
: '''White Knight''': I need everyone in the situation room in five minutes.
: '''Rex''': So much for that.
: ''[Dr. Holiday yawns]''
: '''Dr. Holiday''': What'd I miss?
: '''Rex''': Wow, Doc. You sure got comfy quick.
: '''White Knight''': Listen up, people. We need to retrieve a valuable asset before it falls into enemy hands.
: '''Six''': What's the objective?
: '''White Knight''': This man... Dr. Peter Meechum.
: '''Rex''': That guy? I remember him. Van crazy kiddnaped his daughter.
: '''White Knight''': Meechum spent the last year at a safehouse facility... Codename: Pandora's Box... location know only to me.
: '''Rex''': Why all the cloak and dagger?
: '''White Knight''': Because Meechum was one of the original scientists on the Nanite Project. He was given a panic button in case of emergency. Thirty minutes ago-- He activated it.
: '''Six''': Providence?
: '''White Knight''': We have to assume they're trying to assemble the original members of the Nanite Project. What Meechum knows is too valuable to fall into the wrong hands, so go get him.
: '''Six''': Maybe Circe should stay here.
: '''Rex''': What? Why?
: '''Six''': She's not on the team yet-- Not officialy.
: '''White Knight''': Take her. She'll be useful in the field.
: '''Rex''': Ahem. You guys forget you key? Did you check under the mat?
: '''Six''': Rex, focus on the mission. Get to Meechum!
: '''Rex''': Relax, Six. I could take these guys in my sleep, especially with help from... Huh? Circe? Uh... Time-out?
: '''Six''': Peter Meechum, you need to come with us.
: ''[Dr. Meechum scoffs]''
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Took you long enough.
: '''Rex''': Time in.
: '''White Knight''': Still no sign of Circe, Rex. We'll keep looking, but for right now, Meechum is our top priority.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': We'll find her, Rex. Don't worry.
: '''White Knight''': In the meantime, Dr. Meechum, I've checked, and your daughter is safe at her boarding school in England.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': My daughter. Right.
: '''White Knight''': We can make immediate arrangements to take you to her.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': No, I'd rather stay with you if that's all right. It's, uh-- It's safer.
: '''White Knight''': Of course. White Knight out.
: '''Rex''': So, after that, Providence attacked Abysus to get the Master-Control Nanite. Guess you were next on their list.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': I see. And all this happened in the last year?
: '''Six''': You've missed a lot since you've been away, doctor.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Horrible. I could never work for a Providence like that. I have to say it's all very impressive. Providence has certainly done a lot in the last year.
: '''Caesar''': And with your help, doctor, we can do more.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Where's White Knight? I should tell him I've arrived.
: '''Black Knight''': I can answer that for you. It's good to have you back, doctor.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': What happened to White?
: '''Black Knight''': Just a routine change in command. Nothing to worry about. If you'll excuse me, gentlemen.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Tell me you have my money ready.
: '''Black Knight''': You get away you want when I get what I want... Not before.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Relax.
: '''Six''': I'm a professional, aren't I?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Six, see Meechum? I have some data I'd like to go over with him. Are you... okay?
: '''Six''': Rebecca, I have something important to tell you.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Okay. Well... Thanks for tell me.
: '''Six''': Rex, are you in here? I do not understand this show.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Am I interrupting?
: '''Six''': Not at all. What can I do for you?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Nothing important. I just wanted to say... earlier... that was nice. Unexpected but nice. 
: '''Six''': Earlier?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': In the lab?
: '''Six''': I have no idea what you're talking about.
: ''[Dr. Holiday scoffs]''
: '''Rex''': Six, I need to talk to you about Circe. Uh... Six? Earth to agent guy. You okay?
: '''Six''': I'm fine. I've just decided not to waste any more time on you, Rex.
: '''Rex''': Um... Is this because I accidentaly used your swords to slice a pizza?
: '''Six''': It's because you're weak. You don't have what it takes to complete the mission.
: '''Rex''': Ohh, I get it. This is one of your test, right?
: '''Six''': No test. Just me coming to my senses. You're not strong enough to survive what's coming. In the end, you're gonna let us all down.
: ''[Dr. Holiday crying]''
: '''Rex''': Doc? What's wrong?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': ''[Sobbing]'' I-It's nothing, Rex. I didn't want you to see me like this.
: '''Rex''': Well, what is it?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': ''[Sobbing]'' It's Six. I'm afraid of him.
: '''Rex''': What?! That's crazy talk.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': ''[Sobbing]'' Is it? You have to have seen it. He's violent, on edge. He's losing control.
: '''Rex''': Are we talking about the same Six?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': We don't even known him. He was a killer, Rex. The old Six might have changed, but how do we know this Six didn't come back... Wrong?
: ''[Dr. Meechum whistling]''
: '''Dr. Meechum''': I have a question. How do you plan to re-create the project without a bio-interface expert?
: '''Caesar''': Oh, but we do have one.
: '''Van Kleiss''': No! The string doesn't work. Gordian knot, tied up tight. Alexander cheated. Can't cheat. Eyes on your own paper! Peter? No! Can't be! Different time, different me.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Van Kleiss? You brought back that monster?
: '''Caesar''': Of course. He was the original interface programmer. Who better?
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Excuse me a moment. White, what the heck is going on?!
: '''White Knight''': Peter? Where are you?
: '''Dr. Meechum''': I'm at Providence. Where are you?
: '''White Knight''': Providence. But that's not-- I have to go. We have a problem.
: '''Rex''': You're darn right we have a problem, because this isn't Peter Meechum!
: ''[Dr. Meechum laughing maniacally]''
: '''Scarecrow''': Heya, Rex. Miss me?
: '''Rex''': Who are you? Where's Meechum?
: '''White Knight''': His name's John Scarecrow. He's an EVO, specialist in infiltration. Black Knight played us.
: '''Scarecrow''': You really don't remember me, Rex? I'll give you a hint. We used to share a stomping ground. We had a problem with a shapes hifter once.
: '''Rex''': You were in Hong Kong.
: '''Scarecrow''': Give the man a prize.
: ''[Scarecrow laughs]''
: '''Six''': I think he went that way.
: '''Rex''': Wait a minute.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: ''[Scarecrow laughs]''
: '''Rex''': I cannot believe I fell for that.
: '''Scarecrow''': Look at you. You're ridiculous. You think he'll come to his senses, realize his true feelings? Then what? You'll settle down. White picket fence. Little agent kids. You're fooling yourself. You're the worst of them... you know that?... Because you know better. You really think you can save the world? None of you can survive what's coming!
: '''Rex''': Prove it's really you. What's my favorite color?
: '''Six''': I have no idea.
: '''Rex''': It's you, all right.
: ''[Dr. Holiday screaming]''
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Put it away. I'm not the EVO.
: '''Six''': We heard you scream.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': That wasn't me.
: '''Six''': Let's all calm down. We can figure this out.
: '''Rex''': Why, Six? Because I'm weak? You don't think I can handle this?
: '''Six''': I never said that.
: '''Rex''': But you think it, right? I don't see you putting down your guns, doc.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': I know it's not me. I'm not sure about you two.
: ''[Scarecrow laughs]''
: '''Scarecrow''': So easy. I barely had to nudge you.
: '''Rex''': Whatever you're after, you're not getting away with it.
: '''Scarecrow''': Get away with it?! Re-e-e-x, I got what I needed in the first five minutes.
: '''Rex''': Then why? Why do all this?
: '''Scarecrow''': Simple. I wanted to do to you what you did to me.
: '''Rex''': I'm done with you!
: ''[Scarecrow groans]''
: '''Scarecrow''': The big hero. Why do you get to forget? It's not fair!
: '''Rex''': Whine, whine, whine. What... you didn't get enough crazy hugs as a kid?
: '''Scarecrow''': You think I'm the only one you hurt? Then tell me--
: '''Skwydd''': What about us? Why'd you betray me? 
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Circe:''' You promised to protect me, Rex. Where were you?
: '''Rex:''' Stop it!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: ''[Rex breathing heavily]''
: '''Caesar''': Face it, bro. It's why I left you. Mom and dad, too.
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex''': You're your own worst enemy.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': That's for Rex. That's for Providence. And that was for the kiss.
: '''White Knight''': Providence won this round. No question.
: '''Rex''': They have the real Meechum. Maybe more.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': There's no telling how much of our system Scarecrow uploaded.
: '''Six''': But we have to assume they know everything we do.
: ''[Scarecrow laughs evilly]''
: '''White Knight''': Black Knight is coming for us. It's just a matter of time.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': So? I mean, we knew that. Nothing's changed, right?
: '''Six''': Rex, this is what they wanted-- To turn us against each other.
: '''Rex''': Yeah, and look how easy it was. We thought we were a team, but we're not. We're vulnerable.
: '''Van Kleiss''': It's Heisenberg's uncertainty principle. Looking past Occam's Razor, we can clearly see to a quantum level. A quantum level is what I'm trying to achieve, because if I didn't do the quantum level, then I can understand what's happening.
: '''Caesar''': I know you don't like this, but it's not about us.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Can you do it? Can you control him?
: '''Caesar''': Leave Van Kleiss to me.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': What about Black Knight? I don't like her, Salazar. Never did.
: '''Caesar''': Trust me, Peter-- When we're finished, the end will justify the means.

===Hermanos===
:'''Rex Salazar''': WH-O-O-O-OA! Unh! Ugh!
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Agent Six''': Be careful, Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm touched by your concern, Six.
:'''Agent Six''': It's not for you. We don't have Providence to pick up the tab anymore. You break it, you buy it.
:''[Rex growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm saving the day here. What are they gonna do--Sue me? Oh, come on! It was a rhetorical question! What was I supposed to do? The whole building was made of glass!
:'''Lawyer''': ''[Hispanic accent]'' Glass? What are you talking about?
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm... not talking about anything. What are you talking about?
:'''Lawyer''': Mr. Salazar, I'm an associate at the stateside branch of the Argentinean firm Gomez and Gomez. And today, sir, is your lucky day!
:'''Rex Salazar''': What's this?
:'''Lawyer''': It's yours!
:'''Noah Nixon''': No away! This is your house?
:'''Rex Salazar''': I know! According to the lawyer guy, this rancho in Argentina's been in my family forever. And ever since my parents died in the event, those lawyers have been trying to track down the heir. And guess who that is.
:'''Noah Nixon''': You and your brother?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, yeah, right. Him too.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Not a good time, Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Dude, it's never a good time, but you go to-- O...kay, so maybe this really isn't a good time, but this is important. I was being chased by a lawyer. No, I wasn't being sued this time. But you'll never guess what he--
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Is this about the rancho?
:'''Rex Salazar''': You know about it?
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Those lawyers have left me a dozen messages.
:'''Rex Salazar''': And you didn't tell me? Caesar, I never even knew we had this place! There might be photo albums, home movies-- I don't know-- maybe even an old teddy bear or something.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': You never had a teddy bear.
:'''Rex Salazar''': See, the fact that you know that and I don't-- that's why we need to go down there.
:'''Lawyer''': Clear!
:'''Caesar Salazar''': I can't, Rex. My work's already been interrupted once today. Although... Now that you mention the ranch, it does bring back some memories.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Really? Like what?
:'''Caesar Salazar''': There was an experiment I remember mom and dad running. If you could find the notes, it might save some time on the work I'm doing now.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Notes? Come on. Isn't family more important than-- Guess not.
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Why can't I have a normal brother? Know anything about cows? Thanks for coming with me. This is really a family thing, but my brother is, well-- My brother. 
:'''Noah Nixon''': Are you kidding? I'm psyched! I've been killing myself trying to find a birthday present for Claire. A vacation at my best friend's awesome ancestral estate? What other guy could offer her that?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, but then why bring Annie?
:'''Annie''': Um, this just kind of broke off.
:''[Annie, Claire and Noah screaming]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': AAAAAAH!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': I sure hope this isn't included in Six's &quot;You break it, you buy it&quot; policy.
:'''Annie''': Sorry.
:'''Rex Salazar''': No problem. We're here.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Are... you sure this is the place?
:'''Noah Nixon''': What happened to it?
:'''Annie''': Hey, don't look at me. I just got there.
:''[Annie gasps]''
:'''Annie''': Okay, that was me.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I guess this must be my... family.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Looks like you-- But with a 'stache.
:'''Annie''': I like you with a 'stache.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Hey, there are chickens in here!
:'''Annie''': And llamas!
:'''Noah Nixon''': Chicken, llamas-- And a funny-looking bull.
:''[Chiquito snorts]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': I-I-I take it back! You're not funny-looking!
:'''Chiquito''': This place is Durango's!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, actually--
:'''Chuquito''': No fancy talk! Just go!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Ugh! Okay, number one, how is &quot;actually&quot; fancy talk! Number two, I don't know who Durango is, but this farm isn't his. And number three--
:''[Chiquito grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Ugh! Ugh! All right, there's no misunderstanding the international language of getting punched in the face. So read my fist-- Get out of my house!
:'''Chiquito''': Durango will not be happy!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, don't know who that guy was, but problem solved.
:'''Noah Nixon''': Uh, you think? Aah!
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Senior Durango''': Calmate, Chiquito. You are my brother. I would not do anything to hurt mi hermano. Unless you force me to. I cannot lose that tract of land. Without its right of way, I will lose my claim on the rest of the county. But never mind. They will learn-- When you mess with the bull, you get the horns.
:'''Rex Salazar''': OHHH! Ugh!
:'''Noah Nixon''': A chicken just tried to poop on my shoe!
:'''Rex Salazar''': I think I can top you there.
:'''Noah Nixon''': No offense, but when I asked Claire to come here, this wasn't what I was hoping for.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, me either. I mean, I was thinking I'd find-- I don't know what. But everything in this place has been smashed or stolen. Maybe this whole family thing isn't for me.
:''[Noah gasps]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': That's the one!
:'''Claire Bowman''': Please, Noah. It just needed a little help laying an egg.
:'''Rex Salazar''': ''[Chuckling]'' What, did you grow up on a farm in Kansas?
:'''Claire Bowman''': An apartment in Chicago-- Which is where I learned to download videos onto my phone.
:'''Telephone Voice''': When caring for an egg bearing hen, remember to--
:'''Muchado''': Hola? Quien esta aquí?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Uh... hello?
:'''Muchado''': So, you are the Americans? I am Señor Muchado-- The juez.
:'''Claire Bowman''': That's like a judge?
:'''Muchado''': Sí. For all intents and purposes, I am the law in this county-- Which is why I have come here with him.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Good, because I definitely want to press charges.
:'''Muchado''': You misunderstand. I am here because of the trouble you caused for Chiquito.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Chiquito?
:''[Rex chuckles]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Your mom must have some sense of humor to name you &quot;Tiny&quot;.
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:'''Muchado''': Chiquito's brother is Señor Durango. He controls most of the land in this county, including this hacienda. At Señor Durango's request, I have prepared a legal order compelling you to vacate.
:'''Claire Bowman''': But this is Rex's farm.
:'''Annie''': Yeah, he's got a deed and everything.
:'''Muchado''': This might have some bearing-- If you were a Salazar.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, we're in luck. I am.
:'''Annie''': Maybe this will help.
:'''Muchado''': You may be a Salazar, but by our law, this land has been deemed abandoned, and Señor Durango has claimed it.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Sorry. Been sort of busy saving the world and stuff. But I'm here now, so consider his claim unclaimed, then reclaimed by me.
:'''Muchado''': It is not so simple. You would have to demonstrate you are actively maintaining the ranch. That means shearing and feeding the animals, bringing your bulls to market--
:'''Rex Salazar''': To market? What, like a... cattle drive?
:'''Claire Bowman''': No problem. We can totally figure out how to do that.
:'''Muchado''': A ranch this size requires at least a dozen hired men.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, just... uh...
:'''Muchado''': No one within 100 kilometers will help you cross Señor Durango. If you do this, you will do it alone. And you will fail.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Well, that guy was kind of a jerk.
:'''Annie''': Yeah. So, let's get to work.
:'''Noah Nixon''': How? Everything here is broken.
:'''Annie''': Uh, have you seen my house?
:'''Rex Salazar''': You guys don't have to do this.
:'''Claire Bowman''': What kind of friend would walk away now?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Uh... yeah! No way you could stop me from helping take care of these totally not-gross animals. 
:'''Rex Salazar''': Really?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Well, I'm smiling like that's what I mean, aren't?
:''[Noah exhales deeply]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': I can do this! I can't do this. Until I've done my milking warm-up.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Ugh. Hold this.
:'''Telephone Voice''': With you head resting on her flank, gently grasp the udder with the palm of your hand.
:'''Noah Nixon''': AAH!
:''[Claire giggles]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': I think she likes you.
:'''Noah Nixon''': Ugh!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': This is your home. Get in your home!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Whoa! AAAH! AAH! Ugh! This is hopeless! This farm only has one bull, and I can't even get it into the barn. And this... better just be mud.
:'''Annie''': Hang on! I'll help you!
:''[Annie gasps]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': No! Don't!
:'''Noah Nixon''': Are you guys okay?
:'''Claire Bowman''': What is it? A storm cellar?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Looks like some kind of lab.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Figures. My mom and dad were Caesar's parents, too. Of course they'd find a way to take work home with them. Probably where those notes Caesar wanted are. Might as well grab them before the judge kicks us out.
:'''Claire Bowman''': What's he talking about? I think we're doing a pretty good job taking care of the--
:'''Annie''': Uh, guys--
:''[Claire grunts]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': Wait-- Donkeys eat hay, don't they? Maybe we can use it to lure them back into the barn.
:'''Annie''': I got it! Ugh!
:''[Annie gasps]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': Well, on the plus side, at least we now know for sure that donkeys do eat hay.
:'''Rafael Salazar''': One day, these things are going to change the world, and you'll be there to see it.
:'''Violetta Salazar''': ''[chuckling]'' Caesar, please, mi hijo. Stop working for a minute and hold the camera.
:'''Young Caesar Salazar''': Okay! Okay!
:''[Claire sniffs]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': What's that smell?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Which one? Everything here smells.
:'''Claire Bowman''': No, it smells like... smoke!
:'''Annie''': Rex! The straw caught on fire, and it exploded!
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:'''Chiquito''': Hermano! No! Oomph!
:'''Senior Durango''': What were you thinking? I told you to smoke them out, not burn the land! This is my land! If you weren't my brother--
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:'''Senior Durango''': But you are. Come here.
:'''Rex Salazar''': So, you must be the brother. Hope I'm not interrupting some kind of weird tender moment.
:'''Senior Durango''': Soy Durango. And I hope there is still a chance we can reach a resonable agreement.
:'''Claire Bowman''': So, then you'll let Rex keep the farm? We played by the rules.
:'''Senior Durango''': Around here, I make the rules.
:'''Annie''': But the judge said--
:'''Senior Durango''': The judge works for me. Now, please, I'm giving you one last chance to leave.
:'''Noah Nixon''': Okay, sure! Oh, wait-- That's right. Your fire blew up what was left of our plane!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Uh, let me handle the trash-talking with the 20-foot-tall monster EVO, okay? Leave them out of this! They shouldn't even be here! It should have been my brother!
:'''Senior Durango''':  That is why you will lose your farm. Without family, a man is nothing. After all, what is this land to them?
:'''Rex Salazar''': I don't even know what this place is to me. I came here hoping to find out more about who my family is.
:''[Rex start looking at Noah, Claire and Annie, and smile to them]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': And I did. So, you're going to stop threatening them-- And me-- And get off my land.
:''[Durango snarls]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay. Here's the plan-- Stay behind me! Whoa! Ugh!
:'''Noah Nixon''': Well, there goes that plan.
:'''Senior Durango''': Hurt them. You can do that, can't you?
:'''Claire Bowman''': W-what do we do now?!
:'''Annie''': The only one of us with powers just got kicked to the curb.
:'''Noah Nixon''': That depends on what you mean by &quot;powers&quot;.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex muffled grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Not a good time, Caesar.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': I just wanted to tell you-- Forget about those notes. I realized that's not what's important about you going down there.
:''[Durango snarls]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Wow, Caesar. I can't believe you came around.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': I just realized-- The really important thing is, if you happen to find a termo-chronometer I remember having down there, it would save me from ordering one.
:''[Chiquito snarls]''
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:''[Chiquito snarls, roars]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': Ugh!
:''[Chiquito snorts]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:[''On videotape of the Salazar family]''
:'''Rafael Salazar''': One day these things are going to change the world and you'll be there to see it.
:'''Violetta Salazar''': Cesar, please miquito. Stop working for a minute and hold the camera.
:'''Young Caesar Salazar''': Okay, okay.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Noah Nixon''': This morning, I almost had to touch a cow's underparts. You think you can do me worse than that? Bring it.
:''[Chiquito snarls]''
:''[Chiquito roars]''
:'''Annie''': Ugh! I didn't mean for that to happen.
:'''Claire Bowman''': We did.
:'''Rex Salazar''': AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Ugh! AAAAAAAAAAARGH!
:'''Senior Durango''': OOMPH!
:''[Durango lows]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': WH-O-O-O-O-O-O O-OA!
:''[Durango lows]''
:''[Durango snorts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': AAAAAAAAH!
:''[Durango growls]''
:''[Durango growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Trust me-- My brother's let me down way worse. But what am I gonna do? He's my brother.
:'''Senior Durango''': It is over.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Nice ego there, but I've been hit a lot harder.
:''[Durango spits]''
:'''Senior Durango''': Those bells signal the market is ending soon. I can see you have yet to herd you cattle there.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, come on! The one cattle I've got doesn't even move!
:'''Senior Durango''': If you do not have your cattle to market before it ends, you will have failed to fulfill your deed, and this land will be mine.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Then I guess I don't have any time to waste talking about it.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Come on. Come here.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Forget it. I got this.
:'''Claire Bowman''': WHOO-HOO! Yes! Go, Rex!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': Where's Durango?
:'''Rex Salazar''': OWW! Come on! You don't move the whole time, and you can't stay still?
:''[Durango grunting]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': What is this, a western? You're actually trying to stop him with a rockslide?
:'''Senior Durango''': You? Here? How is that even possible?
:'''Telephone Voice''': Donkeys can be ridden surprinsingly fast if you--
:'''Noah Nixon''': Come on! Just give up! The farm belong to Rex. And I really want to get off this thing.
:'''Senior Durango''': You think I'm afraid of you ''[scoffs]'' boy?
:'''Claire Bowman''': Oh, it's not the boy you should be afraid of.
:'''Annie''': Oops.
:''[Durango grunting]''
:'''Senior Durango''': Ugh!
:''[Rex panting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': We sheared the llamas, we milked the cows, I got the bull to town. We did everything in the deed.
:'''Muchado''': Sí, sí. But more important, you faced Durango and won! Once the other ranchers hear of this, they won't be afraid. You have broken Durango's hold on our lands.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Wait-- You're... happy about that?
:'''Muchado''': Of course. I told you exactly what you had to do to legally gain control of the land, didn't I?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Huh. I guess you did.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Wow! Can you believe how you perfect this all worked out?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Yeah, uh, so, maybe we should get out of here before we wear out our welcome.
:'''Rex Salazar''': There's just one thing I want to do first.

===The Rescue===
:''Note'': Rex goes alone to rescue his girlfriend Circe from the clutches of Black Knight. but it turns out she has been waiting for him.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Alone Together===
:''Note'': Finally together at last, Rex and Circe reminiscence about their good and hard times together ans their romance begins to grow.
===Retribution===
===Temporary Insanity===

===Crime and Punishment===
:''Note:'' His false insanity revealed, Van Kleiss abducts Circe with the intent of punishing her for betraying him, due to her enduring love for Rex.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, Circe, you shall learn the ultimate price of betraying me.
:'''Rex:''' ''Leave her alone!!''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, Rex. For young love. One of your greatest weaknesses. After I finish off your beloved, you will no longer be a hindrance to me. 
:'''Rex''' (''enraged'')''':''' I ''said''...LEAVE HER ALONE!!!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Shadowed Past===

===Separation Anxiety===
===Brotherly Love===

===Rocky My World===
:'''Beverly:''' Oh, this is so awesome! We're seeing the Trendbenders live!
:'''Rex:''' Well, maybe not see them, but we'll totally hear them.
:'''Sebastian''': Attention! The Trendbenders will be arriving through the back of the club.
:'''Beverly:''' Slick trick! Yes, Rebecca. I know! Only drink the bottled water. No, we're not that close to the stage. Ugh! I know that's where they mosh-pit. Don't worry! Bye!
:'''Rex:''' Your sister is acting like your mother. I wouldn't put up with it. Doc?! I'm right next to her! Yes, we've got earplugs. Only bottled water-- I know! Yes, you'll pick us up at 11:00. Okay! Bye!
:'''Sly:''' ''[singing]'' I met a guy who has looking for a lucky break. I met a guy mad he wouldn't make a mistake. No loser here the weight would be upon his face. This ain't no lucky break it's just another day.
:'''Beverly:''' Hey!
:'''Rex:''' There's something wrong with that guy.
:'''Beverly:''' Yeah! It's called lack of social skills.
:'''Sebastian:''' We have to talk! You got to listen to me!
:'''Rex:''' I think they're a little too busy for a chat right now.
:'''Sebastian:''' It's me! Your first fan!
:'''Rex:''' Come on, dude. Can't you just watch the show, like everyone else?
:'''Sly:''' ''[singing]'' You won't bring me down. Yeah-yeah-yeah. You won't bring me down.
:'''Sebastian:''' I'm not just everyone else.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' You want to rethink trying to stop me?
:'''Beverly:''' Whoa! Geek in triplicate!
:'''Rex:''' More like EVO geek.
:'''Sebastian:''' I bet you're not even a real fan!
:'''Rex:''' Hey, I know their music!
:'''Sebastian:''' Yeah? What album is &quot;Bitten on the Wind&quot; from?
:'''Beverly:''' Uh, their first album.
:'''Sebastian:''' Wrong! Their third! Poser!
:'''Sly:''' Here's one from our first album-- &quot;Bitten on the Wind.&quot;
:'''Beverly:''' Told ya! Their first album! Who's the poser now?
:'''Sebastian:''' But it is their third. They keep denying their first two albums exist!
:'''Rex:''' Huh?
:''[Rex bones cracking]''
:'''Rex:''' Shouldn't you be home, making sure your mom isn't snooping around your basement? Ouch! All right, I've had enough.
:'''Sebastian:''' I know you. You're that guy from Providence that beats up on EVOs.
:'''Rex:''' And I'm guessing you're not one of my fans.
:'''Sebastian:''' This isn't over! They still need me to show them the way back. I'll make them listen to me.. No matter what! Ugh!
:'''Man:''' No re-entry without a hand stamp.
:'''Rex:''' Uh, but--
:'''JoJo:''' It's okay. He's with me. I'm JoJo, the band's manager.
:'''Beverly:''' Oh! Sly Tyler, vocals, six-stringer. Burrito Beau on the big bottom, and Leon Adler on the skins.
:'''Beau:''' Bass. Drums.
:'''Beverly:''' They're even cutter up close!
:'''JoJo:''' But Sebastian isn't. And now that fruitcake fan has become a major menace.
:'''Rex:''' You know who that guy is?
:'''Sly:''' Yeah, he's one of our first fans from way back.
:'''Leon:''' But he didn't like our change in music direction.
:'''Beau:''' Change, like in popular.
:'''Sly:''' So he started sending us nasty e-mails and slagging us on the fan sites.
:'''JoJo:''' But now he's turned violent, and it turns out he's... H-he's...
:'''Rex:''' An EVO that can multiply himself.
:'''JoJo:''' We can't handle that kind of threat, but you can.
:'''Beverly:''' Is this a job offer?
:'''JoJo:''' As head of security for the rest of the tour.
:'''Rex:''' Huh, I don't know. Putting up with groupies, great music, catering, the Rock'n'roll lifestyle-- Oh, right, like I'm not totally in for this!
:'''Beverly:''' And I'm your deputy, sheriff.
:'''Sly:''' Absolutely.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Absolutely not.
:'''Rex:''' They've got an EVO threat.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Fine, Rex. Beverly? And don't forget to use earplugs.
:'''Rex:''' Private jet to the next gig? Airline-- First class? Coach?
:'''JoJo:''' Of the road kind.
:'''Rex:''' Traveling the open road, bringing music to the people. Where to next?
:'''Beau:''' Eugene, Oregon. ''[Unenthusiastically]'' WHOO-HOO!
:'''Rex:''' Ow!
:'''Leon:''' Bad seat. Got a lot of them.
:''[Beau farts]''
:''[Rex sniffs]''
:'''Leon and Rex:''' Oh!
:''[Leon coughs]''
:'''Leon:''' Isn't the ozone layer depleted enough, Beau?
:'''Rex:''' Want to hit the streets and check out the local scene?
:'''Sly:''' Seriously, man? It's just another town.
:'''Beau:''' Been there. Seen them all.
:'''TV Announcer:''' He's currently under 3, 2 behind the leader. This is a very tricky--
:'''Rex:''' Oh, let's throw this in the pool!
:'''Leon:''' Hey, I'm watching something, dude!
:'''Rex:''' How about a food fight?
:'''Sly:''' Sorry, man. Not feeling it.
:'''Rex:''' This isn't feeling very Rock'n'Roll.
:'''JoJo:''' Rex, we hired you to consult on security, not rock-tour clichés.
:'''Sebastian:''' Room service.
:'''JoJo:''' Again? You guys, this is costing too much.
:'''Sly:''' But we didn't order anything else.
:'''Sebastian:''' That's okay. This is on the house!
:''[Sebastian grunts]''
:''[JoJo gasps]''
:'''Rex:''' Look out! He's got... Paperwork?
:'''Sebastian:''' I've got notes and visuals on where you've gone commercial and how you can get back to your roots! He's with the band now? He's not even a real fan! You see? You've got to come with me. You need my help!
:'''Rex:''' They're not going anywhere, but you are!
:'''Sebastian:''' My copies don't feel pain.
:'''Rex:''' But you do!
:'''Girl:''' Whoa! You must really be a big fan!
:'''Sebastian:''' Only of their early stuff.
:'''Girl:''' Eww! Their early stuff is weak.
:'''Teen girl:''' But their new songs are awesome!
:''[Girls giggling]''
:''[Sebastian growls]''
:''[Girls screaming]''
:'''Rex:''' Excuse me. I'm with the band.
:'''Teen girl:''' But you missed your ride.
:'''Rex:''' That's okay. I've got my own.
:'''Man:''' Rock bands! Never again!
:'''Sebastian:''' I've got to take you away from this sellout existence, where you deny your first two albums even exist.
:'''Sly:''' B-but those albums weren't any good. That's why we only had a few fans, like you.
:'''Rex:''' If there's only three of them, then who's driving the car?
:'''Sebastian:''' Aah!
:'''Rex:''' Did he... Ah! Rent that car from the circus? Time to cut this act short.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' Oh, man. I went to my first Trendbenders show in that car.
:'''Rex:''' Maybe I can't turn off your obsession, but I can shut down your nanites.
:'''Beau:''' That clone-boy?
:'''Rex:''' I don't think he's going to be a problem now.
:'''JoJo:''' We can still use you on the tour. What did you say?
:'''Rex:''' Yes!
:'''Sly:''' Good man! ''[singing]'' You see the light, and it's oh, so bright, a million times more than before, now we'll show you the door, some starts fade, and some starts shine, the bright ones stand the test of time, the others burn out and sing, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, kill your radio, you live a life for all to see, sometimes it's right, sometimes obscene, now you're the enemy, it's one for all and all for me, unlocking doors and misery, the others burn out and sing, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, out of time, kill your radio, out of time, kill your radio, out of time, kill your radio, it isn't all, that it's cracked up to be, I never thought it'd be so easy, I wouldn't have it any other way, you see the light, and it's oh, so bright, a million times more than before, now we'll show you the door, some starts fade, and some starts shine, the bright ones stand the test of time, the others burn out and sing, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, &quot;yeah&quot;.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Sly:''' At least we got a day off before the next gig.
:'''JoJo:''' Guys, a club owner in fleeceburg just offered us amazing money. I booked it.
:'''Rex:''' For when?
:'''JoJo:''' We're already running late.
:'''Sly:''' They're paying money for us to play in this dump?
:'''JoJo:''' Big money. Come on. You're on in ten minutes.
:'''Rex:''' I'm guessing ticket sales are a little slow.
:'''Leon:''' Are we breaking up?
:'''Beau:''' This dive seems awfully familiar.
:'''Sebastian:''' It should.
:'''Rex:''' That voice seems awfully familiar!
:'''Teens:''' Dude! Nobody move! What's going on? Who's touching me? What is this? Excuse me. What is going on?
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' I built an exact replica of the first club you played in.
:'''Beau:''' Hey, that's one of my puke stains. Fruitcake knows his details.
:'''Rex:''' But I cured you.
:'''Sebastian:''' Hmm... That was a copy, not the original.
:'''Sly:''' Whatever. When's this gonna end, fan-boy?
:'''Sebastian:''' It ends tonight. Check the floor at your feet.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' I've given up trying to get you back to your roots. So now you'll play what I want to hear for the next hour. And then your career ends with a bang. :'''Sly:''' On behalf of the band, I'd like to thank our manager, JoJo, for booking this totally insane gig!
:''[JoJo laughs nervously]''
:'''Sebastian:''' The sound of cold, hard cash is the only music sellouts like you listen to anymore.
:'''Rex:''' They're not sellouts. They just got more popular than you wanted.
:'''Sebastian:''' You try anything, and I'll end their last gig prematurely. You're only alive because I want you to see what the Trendbenders used to be like. For the next hour give me the early stuff, when you were cool.
:'''Sly:''' Why bother? You're gonna nuke us, anyway.
:'''Sebastian:''' Because if you don't play, this happens!
:'''Sly:''' Aah!
:'''Leon, Sly and Beau:''' No more!
:'''Sly:''' Okay, dude, what's the first number?
:'''Sebastian:''' &quot;Crawling undertow&quot;!
:'''Sly:''' Well, how does it feel?
:'''Sebastian:''' First album, seventh song. Fifth song on the Japanese import.
:'''Sly:''' To get that weight back on our shoulders--
:'''Sebastian:''' You're giving it a beat that wasn't in the original, man! Not even in the remix from the box set. Play it right this time! I'm missing the concert because of you!
:'''Rex:''' Stinks to be you. Got to cure the real Sebastian. But which one is the mother ship?
:'''Sebastian:''' You can't even play your old songs like you used to. Total disappointment. Let's end this bummer concert.
:'''Sly:''' But we still have over a half-hour left!
:'''Sebastian:''' Last song, no encore.
:'''Rex:''' Tell me who's the original, or I'll turn you into dessert topping!
:'''Sebastian:''' You don't scare me. I don't feel pain.
:'''Rex:''' But the real Sebastian does. Sly! Maximum feedback! Now! Thanks, Doc.
:'''Sebastian''': AAAHHHH!
:'''Rex:''' How do you like their new hit, Sebastian Prime? Here's another new groove you're not going to like.
:'''Sebastian:''' Aah!
:'''Rex:''' Congrats. You're back to being a solo act.
:'''Sebastian:''' You've got to listen to me!
:''[Sebastian yelling]''
:'''Rex:''' Kidnapping, assault and battery, construction without a permit-- that should keep him away for years.
:'''JoJo:''' Have to say it, guys, but we've got a gig in toledo to get to. Security?
:'''Rex:''' Not anymore. Sebastian's done, and so am I.
:'''Sly:''' Dude, I thought you wanted the rock'n'roll lifestyle.
:'''Rex:''' I'm not tough enough for it. I need to get back to something easier, like city-smashing EVOs and conspiracies to take over the world.
:'''Beau:''' Don't know what your missing.
:'''Rex:''' I think do. But I don't miss this. Yes, doc? Don't need my earplugs anymore. I quit. Will you let me tell you? No, the EVO threat wasn't just an excuse. Well, I'm coming back! Will you let-- Doc!

===Lost and Found===

===My Brother's Keeper===

===Target: the Consortium===
: '''Jungle Cat:''' You are...?
: '''Rex:''' Rex. Rex Salazar. What are you?
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Lost... and found.
: '''Rex:''' HUNH! AAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
: ''[Rex gasps deeply]''
: '''Rex:''' Whoa. That was a total zero on the fun meter.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Learning how to communicate with the nanite world isn't about fun. Did you get anywhere at all?
: '''Rex:''' Don't know. I connected with a Master Control Nanite for a second, and then I lost it. But I also got, like, this feeling that something's about to happen in the nanite world. Something... big.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Argh! This is Rylander's speciality, not mine. There's no way I can cover for him.
: '''Caesar:''' Not to worry, Dr. Meechum. You won't have to any longer. Dr. Rylander will take over from here.
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Oh, really, Caesar? From his current location of beyond the grave?
: '''Rylander:''' Actually, Peter, I was never completely dead-- just spread a little thin-- ''[chuckling]'' Moleculary speaking. Caesar's been working on putting me back together.
: '''Black Knight:''' All of them together-- At last. Contact the Consortium. We now have something to show them. Something big.
: '''White Knight:''' Even having two of the Master Control Nanites doesn't change the vital importance of finding the other three. But the latest intel I've received could give us a way to neutralize the group obsessed with these machines.
: '''Six:''' The Consortium.
: '''Rex:''' Aren't those the money guys that bankrolled the Nanite Project in Providence?
: '''White Knight:''' The same. Formerly made-up of six members, but now five-- Reddick, made his wealth in real estate and construction. Vostock, black market finance and KGB... Zanubian, arms dealing and shipping. Roswell, oil and minerals. Anthony Haden-Scott, worldwide media.
: ''[Rex munches]''
: '''Rex:''' Should we be writing this down for the pop quiz later?
: '''White Knight:''' You may be facing them soon because of the efforts of our stealthiest agent.
: '''Rex:''' Mm! Thank you! I think.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' He's not talking about you.
: '''Rex:''' Hey! It's Evo-cat guy! Uh... sorry-- What's your name? O...kay, cat with no collar, what's in the sack? Bunch of canaries? Well, that's... something.
: '''White Knight:''' Our associate has been tracking the Consortium with a little help from a former member.
: '''Rex:''' I remember him! He's the one Rylander got revenge on with an EVO love letter.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' That he never recovered from. But he's still full of useful knowledge about the other members.
: '''Rex:''' As long as you have a towel handy for the answers.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' The Consortium has financed a new facility for nanite research. All of them will be at that location within the next six hours.
: '''Six:''' And so will we.
: '''White Knight:''' A rare opportunity like this can't be missed. You three will capture the Consortium and bring them to a secure location. Understood?
: '''Rex:''' Purrfectly.
: '''Black Knight:''' Gentlemen, I wanted you here today to--
: '''Reddick:''' &quot;Wanted?&quot; Sounds like a command.
: '''Vostok:''' ''[Russian accent]'' You get to ask, not order.
: '''Black Knight:''' I'm sorry. Let me restate. I asked you here because I can now present some major developments in your quest. I finished construction on the nanite reactor and reassembled against all odds the original science team to run it. Doctors Meechum, systems expert. Salazar, artificial intelligence. Rylander, microengineering. And Van Kleiss, biomechanical integration.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Nanite's recorder locked in. Hologram Rylander saves money on meals. Glow, glow, glow, yipper.
: ''[Van Kleiss smooches]''
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' A human flashlight and a brain-fried babbler. This is what I'm supposed to work with.
: '''Vostok:''' Looks like your geniuses have some issues.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' ''[British accent]'' I seem to recall there were two other Salazars on the team.
: '''Black Knight:''' They're dead-- And just as well. Considering their actions are responsible for our setbacks, I highly doubt they would have cooperated.
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Black Pawns:''' Ohh!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Black Pawns got to talk to their costume designer. Way too stuffy.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Be quiet.
: '''Six:''' Our target?
: '''Roswell:''' ''[Southern accent]'' Little lady, I'm hoping you didn't get me out here just to watch some lab jockeys do their homework.
: '''Vostok:''' I know I've got better things to do.
: '''Black Knight:''' Aside from the all-important reassembly of the science team and activation of the nanite reactor, I do have another development to show you.
: '''Roswell:''' Yeah? What else you got?
: '''Black Knight:''' An acquisition.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Lost... and found.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' What's wrong with you?
: '''Rex:''' Forget the Consortium! I know where we can find a Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Six:''' Where?
: '''Rex''': Here.
: '''Six:''' We're doing both. You two get the nanite, I'll get the Consortium.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' On of the five? That's all?
: '''Reddick:''' You know we need all of the Master-Control Nanites to do us any good.
: '''Vostok:''' What about the two you lost? And the other two still out there?
: '''Black Knight:''' We'll have the other four in due time. Take this back to the vault. But remember that each one has its own useful powers. : '''Roswell:''' Not enough to drag me all the way out there, little lady.
: '''Black Knight:''' &quot;Black Knight&quot;.
: '''Black Pawns:''' You're not one of us.
: '''Six:''' Stay clear of the Pawns. They're not buying our cover. Repeat-- Stay clear of the Pawns.
: '''Rex:''' Steel door. A vault!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' That was close.
: '''Rex:''' Got it. Have to be as stealthy as you from now on.
: ''[Jungle Catsnarls]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarling]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Van Kleiss!
: ''[Jungle Cat muffled grunting]''
: '''Rex:''' Way not to be stealthy. Sorry, cat guy. I know you want payback for him turning you into stone and all, but the nanite is more important.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Security alert. Intruder.
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' You find the nanite. I'll be a diversion.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' She has shown us some progress. That one nanite is significant in itself.
: '''Reddick:''' It's all five or nothing. Or are you thinking of working a separate deal with the one?
: '''Vostok:''' Can we please not talk like this while those two are in the room?
: '''Roswell:''' Yeah, Xanubian, put a sock in all your yammerin'.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Another intruder at security zone three. It's Agent Six.
: '''Rex:''' Gotcha.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Unh! Aah!
: '''Rex:''' I'll take that. Six! I've got the nanite!
: '''Six:''' Meet your outside.
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Rex:''' I've got it! Let's scat, cat!
: '''Black Knight:''' If he's here-- So is Rex. Vault security, come in.
: '''Reddick:''' Is there a problem?
: '''Black Knight:''' A minor security issue. I'm taking care of it.
: '''Vostok:''' ''[Russian accent]'' You better, little lady.
: '''Rex:''' Well, mission half accomplished.
: '''Six:''' This should complete it.
: '''Rex:''' You planted a bomb?!
: '''Six:''' Plan &quot;B&quot;.
: '''Rex:''' The cat! He's still inside! No!! We've got to go back for the cat! He's on his own mission. Van Kleiss is there.
: '''Six:''' Understood.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Black Knight, shouldn't we evacuate?
: '''Black Knight:''' The security threat has been removed. Among other things. Track them, find them.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Interlace template, instal copper buffers, hold the mayo, set core temp, heat cold fries.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Remember me?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Someone let the cat in.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' You cast me aside as if I was garbage. Turned me to stone. Drained me of life-- Almost. Now it's your turn to suffer.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Had a kitty once. Not you. Bubbles liked catnip and parsnips. Chapped lips. Hip, hip, hooray!
: ''[Jungle Cat growls]''
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' If you're here to clean up, ask for directions, not Dr. Screwloose.
: '''Rex:''' Ugh! Meechum. Bro. He's here to put Van Kleiss out of the world's misery. Give me a reason why he shouldn't.
: ''[Jungle Cat growls]''
: '''Rylander:''' Because the world needs him right now, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' Dr. Rylander! How did you--
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' You got it to work.
: '''Rylander:''' I've looked better, I'll admit, but I'm still very much alive. And so happy to see you again.
: '''Rex:''' If you could bring him back--
: '''Caesar:''' Sorry, Rex. It won't work for mom and dad.
: '''Rex:''' So, you've come back-- But you're working for them! It seems crazy, I know, but look at our progress-- The nanite reactor is almost operational.
: '''Rex:''' Not if I destroy it.
: '''Black Knight:''' Surround them.
: '''Caesar:''' Trust me, hermano, We're doing the right thing.
: '''Rex:''' You keep saying that, but I don't believe it anymore!
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Bubbles, I'm sorry. Here, kitty, kitty. Left you out in the rain, rain go away--
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarling]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh! Easy on the hot sauce, Peter, Peter pumpkin two seater.
: '''Rylander:''' Tell him, Caesar.
: '''Rex:''' Tell me what?
: '''Six:''' Revenge time is up.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: ''[Jungle Cat roars]''
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Aah! Careful! Our work! Ugh! Take it outside!
: '''Rex:''' Ugh!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Rex. Rex Salazar.
: '''Rex:''' I can't talk now! Ugh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Thank you.
: '''Rex:''' You're so not welcome.
: '''Black Knight:''' You should have left when you had the chance.
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' You guys have such a great cafeteria.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Had to come back for more.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Aah! Unh!
: '''Six:''' Unh!
: ''[Black Knight grunting]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Unh!
: '''Six:''' UNNNNNNNNH!
: '''Black Knight:''' Ugh!
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Rex:''' Let's say adiós.
: '''Six:''' There's still plan &quot;B&quot;.
: '''Rex:''' We're not assassins.
: '''Six:''' You're not. This might be our one chance.
: '''Rex:''' To be like them? Then what makes us different?
: '''Six:''' Go. I'm right behind you.
: '''Roswell:''' You brought us into an ambush! Right behind you, Mr. Chatterbox.
: '''Vostok:''' You are cowards.
: '''Reddick:''' Graveyards are full of dummies that thought they were though.
: '''Vostok:''' Black Knight, we have a lot to discuss about your future.
: '''Black Knight:''' By all means, let's talk.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Where's Six?
: '''Rex:''' He said he was right behind us.
: '''Six:''' I am. The Consortium still has to be dealt with.
: '''Rex:''' We now have three Master Control Nanites. I'd say the Consortium has to deal with us.
: '''Six:''' Understood.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Purrfectly.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' I'm shocked. What happened?
: '''Black Knight:''' It seems Vostok had an unfortunate run-in with our intruders as he was leaving. But, there's good news. The reactor is gone. Soon we will have all the nanites we need.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' &quot;We&quot;?
: '''Black Knight:''' I think it's time we walked about my promotion.

===Convergence===
===Enter the Nanite World===

===Enemies Mine===
: '''Valve:''' Battle is to be waged between your courage and my power. You lose.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Valve, my friend. Lovely day for a riot, don't you think?
: '''Valve:''' What do you want, Gatlocke?
: '''Gatlocke:''' I want lots of things-- A doomsday weapon, my own private island, for my mom to stop calling me to fix her computer. But what I really want is to give you a message. It's time. I suppose I'll make the introductions.
: '''Valve:''' A biker needs no introduction. And everyone knows Hunter Cain.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Everything is going according to plan. We get one more thing. Then we get wrecked.
: '''Rex:''' Sorry we're late.
: '''Bobo:''' We're not late. We're fashionably early.
: '''Providence Agent:''' I was starting to think I was on my own. I've been calling for help, but  Providence hasn't answered.
: '''Six:''' What set this off?
: '''Providence Agent:''' No idea. One moment everything was fine. The next moment, complete chaos.
: '''Rex:''' I'm heading in. I'll lock up when I'm done. Oh, don't bother getting up. I'm just gonna knock you back down again.
: '''Bobo:''' Back in your cages, you filthy animals!
: '''Rex:''' Huh? What? You? It's a who's-who of old EVOs. Whew! Really not in the mood for this. You're kidding me. You?!
: '''Gatlocke:''' Three men, one objective, no rules. Oh, this is exciting, isn't it? Or is it just me?
: '''Valve:''' The others are saying that Rex is here. Rex will get his when we're ready.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Watch yourselves. This one's unpredictable. We know what you want, No-Face. Then we can give it to you. Do what we say. Then you'll get Rex. You'll get the chance to tear Rex apart. Piece by piece. Now we're ready.
: '''Rex:''' So you remember who I am. Surprised you have a big enough brain for that. These cells are pretty dull. Let's redecorate. No way I'm letting an EVO get won over on me. Especially a big old frog.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Almost out. Freedom is just a... Bottomless ravine away.
: '''Valve:''' The biker begs the question, how are we getting across?
: '''Gatlocke:''' You know that's not really how begging the question is supposed to be used. Are we kidding? Anyone who gets worked up over that phrase needs to be savagely beaten.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' This'll override the drawbridge system.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Ooh, now how would someone like you procure something like that?
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Friends and hide places.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, frog legs. Let's put you in solitary confinement.
: '''Bobo:''' Do you look like you got run over by an overstuffed garbage truck?
: '''Rex:''' Feels like it. This is a prison riot. Where's Providence? They should be all over this.
: '''Six:''' They never responded to any calls.
: '''Rex:''' It's a setup. Providence wanted this to happen. But why?
: '''Six:''' Six here. Go ahead.
: '''Rex:''' Wait. This bridge wasn't down before.
: '''Bobo:''' Yeah. About that. Some of the prisoners escaped together. Gatlocke...
: '''Rex:''' That's bad.
: '''Bobo:''' Hunter Cain...
: '''Rex:''' That's even worse!
: '''Bobo:''' Valve.
: '''Rex:''' That's... Really? Valve?
: '''Bobo:''' Yeah. And No-Face.
: '''Rex:''' Those four are loose? Together?
: '''Six:''' We've got a bigger problem.
: '''Rex:''' How can it be bigger than this?
: '''Six:''' The EVOs in the city-- The only thing keeping them tame are their control collars.
: '''Rex:''' And this is a problem because...?
: '''Six:''' Because someone has shut them all down.
: '''Rex:''' Let me get that for you.
: '''Bobo:''' Dumpster dog. Considering you used to ride around in the Paris, I guess you're moving up in the world. Main to your mud.
: '''Six:''' Are you injured?
: '''Rex:''' Just worn out. Is this day over yet?
: '''Bobo:''' Oh! Signs pointing no.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? That came from the track. Can you handle things here?
: '''Bobo:''' Only one way to find out. Valve. Those nanite superchargers you keep using are bad for your health.
: '''Valve:''' If I were you, I'd be more concerned with your own short-term health.
: '''Rex:''' Please, like I have anything to worry about from you. The other three, they're dangerous. You, you're just comedy relief.
: '''Valve:''' I am not. Comedy relief.
: '''Rex:''' Well, you're not funny, that's for sure.
: '''Valve:''' Like the road that continues on, so must the biker.
: '''Rex:''' Where did he go so? Ew! Get away from my tacos, cockroach! Huh? You running away? I'll give you this much, Valve. Maybe you're getting smarter.
: '''No-Face:''' Unlike you.
: '''Rex:''' I put you away once, No-Face. I'll do it again.
: '''No-Face:''' The one who makes machines. The one we've been waiting for.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Figures you try to shoot a guy in the back.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' All I see is a filthy EVO.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, first off, that Lai is tired. Second off, last time I checked, you're teaming up with one. Would that make you an EVO lover? All this hide and seek is wearing me down! Huh? Figures.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Leaving so soon? That's not going to impress the hiring committee. Now, let's see what we have here. &quot;Honor roll, A/V Club.&quot; Ugh. &quot;Glee Club.&quot; ''[Scoffs]'' I'm going to have to be brutally honest with you. You're perfect for my gang. Can you sing soprano? My last soprano drove his motorcycle off a cliff. He survived, but his voice was never the same. By the way, can you fly? This is quite the surprise. I'm willing to hire you, Rex, but you better have some excellent references.
: '''Rex:''' Back to prison, Gatlocke!
: '''Gatlocke:''' Then consider the offer rescinded! You could be a valued member of my gang. It's a tough job market out there, you know?
: '''Rex:''' I'd never work for you!
: '''Gatlocke:''' No, not with that attitude, you wouldn't. Welcome to my gang. Your first task is to destroy Rex-- That guy right there.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Gatlocke:''' Your second task is to complete harassment training. I teach the class. This pamphlet explains everything.
: '''Rex:''' No, no, no!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, come in. What's happening?
: '''Rex:''' One really bad day.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Your nanite readings are off the charts.
: '''Rex:''' No surprise. I've been fighting and curing EVOs non stop.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' We need to upload your nanites immediately.
: '''Rex:'''  Now? Doc, my four worst enemies are still on the loose. Well, my three worst enemies in Valve. Plus the city's in chaos. And where in the world is Providence? How come they're not here dealing with this?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Six and Bobo can mop up the last few EVOs. You have to offload.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, fine. But we better make it fast.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You'll be locked in the chamber for one hour.
: '''Rex:''' Just do it, Doc.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' This could be a long sixty minutes.
: '''Valve:''' According to the tracking bug, Rex is inside.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Gentlemen, this is what we've been waiting for. It's time for Rex to die.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' They followed him.
: '''Gatlocke:''' After we kill Rex. We should work together and form a team call ourselves... Gatlocke and the kitty cats.
: '''Valve:''' Silence your mouth or the biker will silence it for you.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Oh, Valve. You can pretend to be angry, but deep down, you know you're a kitty cat.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' They know we're here.
: '''Gatlocke:''' You're quite feisty. Have you ever considered a career in the fast growing field of post apocalyptic gangs?
: '''Valve:''' She has spirit. Valve the biker will see that spirit crushed.
: '''Gatlocke:''' You're Gatlocke's favorite kitty cat. Hmm. Rrr.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Don't follow her. She's trying to lead us away from Rex. Rex is close-by.
: '''Valve:''' Rex's chamber... Five minutes to spare.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' More than enough time.
: '''Gatlocke:''' I could have sworn that we'd agreed to take Rex out together.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' I'm changing the terms of the deal if you have a problem with that, feel free to stand right where you are. I've waited a long time for this. Rex!
: '''Valve:''' Empty? Or a trick of the mind?
: '''Rex:''' Isn't that obvious? Then again, that tracking bug you stuck on me was obvious, too. And the fake countdown? Obvious. It only took me thirty minutes to upload my nanites. You wanted to run me ragged so you could get me. Instead, here you are all in one place. Gotcha!
: '''Valve:''' UGHH!
: '''Rex:''' UGHHHH! I still don't get why you enlisted Valve. I mean, he's really a third-string bad guy.
: '''Valve:''' Valve is the biker. A biker is dangerous.
: '''Rex:''' Hmm. Yeah. No.
: '''Valve:''' Rrrr!
: '''Rex:''' So unpredictable. Like a third-string bad guy.
: '''Valve:''' AAAAH!
: '''Gatlocke:''' I have a horrible sneaking suspicion that he's winning.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Then do something about it!
: '''Gatlocke:''' Don't have to yell. A kind word will get you much further.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Gatlocke:''' UGHHH! Oh! Oh! Oh ho ho! Ouch! My back! My front and my back! OHH! This is total, total agony!
: ''[Gatlocke gasps]''
: '''Gatlocke:''' ''[Calmly]'' I'm okay. Really. I'm fine.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' You're lucky. I'll give you that. But you're only delaying the inevitable. You can't beat us all!
: '''Rex:''' I never intended to. This offload facility? I reprogrammed it. My surplus nanites aren't being stored. They're powering the shield.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' It's a trap!
: '''Rex:''' Have fun keeping each other company!
: '''Bobo:''' What a day.
: '''Rex:''' You know, none of this would have happened if Providence hadn't released the convicts and turned out all those EVOs.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' They did that to keep you busy.
: '''Rex:''' Keep me busy from what?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' The Nanite Project. We just found out. While we dealt with the EVOs, Black Knight got her hands on another Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Rex:''' Then it's time.

===Sinister Secrets===
===Wounded Hearts===
===One Step Ahead===
===Breaking Point===
===Behind Closed Doors===

===Keeping Hope===
===Trust===

===Terror of the Black Knight===

===Endgame, Part One===
: '''Rex:''' It was going to happen sooner or later. We had most of the pieces, so it was only a matter of time before the Black Knight made her move. And of all the chances she had to attack, it had to be tonight... at this very moment... while I was in the shower. Huh? How many?
: '''Six:''' Should it matter?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Can't you do any better than that?
: '''Bobo:''' I thought you'd never ask.
: '''Rex:''' Rah! Yah!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' If they get to the Meta-Nanites, we still have options.
: '''Rex:''' Of the self-destruct kind? No, thanks, Doc. It's not going to end that way... hopefully.
: '''Black Knight:''' We'll dispense with the pleasantries. You know what we want.
: '''Rex:''' There is no way you're walking out of here with the nanites.
: '''Black Knight:''' You seem so certain.
: '''Rex:''' We've beaten you before. Every single time, in fact. So, this time is different... How? Okay, that's different. Ugh! You're an EVO?!
: '''Black Knight:''' Do you think you were the only one they experimented on back in the day? You were the guinea pig. Consider me the new-and-improved version.
: '''Rex:''' Okay. Before we go any further, I should probably explain a few things. It started when a bunch of rich guys decided they wanted to live forever, so they got the best scientists in the world to figure out how. The answer was nanites. These microscopic machines would cure disease, end hunger, and pretty much make the world a better place. My parents and older brother were on the team, and so was this guy. Look familiar? Van Kleiss. Then one day there was an accident. To save my life, my parents injected me with nanites. It worked. But there were a few crazy side effects, like the fact I could talk to machines and, later on, build some pretty cool things. That got the rich guys thinking-- How far could we take this? Turns out pretty far. These little machines could control the very fabric of the Universe, but they would need a Master Control Nanite to program all the others and tell them what to do. Energy, gravity, time/space, elemental, mechanical-- All the things that make the Universe run. Combined together, they would pretty much make you a God. And when my brother and parents found out the Consortium was about to put these nanites inside themselves, they sort of freaked out in a &quot;got to save the Earth&quot; kind of way. Something had to be done to stop it. Turns out that meant blowing the whole thing up, better known as &quot;The Nanite Event&quot;. That didn't end well for my parents. While everyone else ran away, my parents were trapped inside. Sill not sure how. There was some good news-- No more Master Control Nanites. And the bad news? Dangerous unprogrammed nanites got spread across the world, and nanites plus DNA equals EVO. My brother Caesar got caught in a time warp during his escape. Van Kleiss got blown to smithereens and became the world's biggest pain in the nanite. And me? I got amnesia and traveled the globe living the good life... At least, that's how I tell it. The only part I know of wasn't all that much to brag about. I did get some good friends and a few enemies out of the deal. Turns out that losing my memory was a regular thing for me. Last time I woke up and said, &quot;Who Am I?&quot; It was when this guy found me-- Agent Six. He worked for Providence, sort of a global police force created to clean up after the event. It was paid for mostly by the same group of goons that started the whole thing-- The Consortium. It was great for a while. I had my own personal doctor, a chimp sidekick, a cool best friend to hang with. I was a full-fledged hero. The world loved me, and my powers kept getting better and better. Van Kleiss was still a pain, but I managed to take care of him. A few times, actually. Then things started to get not so cool. My brother shows up from out of nowhere. I get thrown six months into the future to find White Knight kicked out of Providence and this lady in charge-- Black Knight. She's been the lapdog of the Consortium from day one, and now her bosses want to pick up where they left off. Most of the old team of scientists have been reunited, and together, they've restarted the nanite program. The Master Control Nanites were spread across the globe in the first explosion, and we've been racing against Providence to get them back. So far, we've been winning that fight, and that pretty much brings us to right now.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' The Black Pawns are robots?!
: '''Black Knight:''' Total obedience at the flip of a switch. Can you blame me?
: '''Black Pawn:''' What's so funny?
: '''Six:''' I hold back against people. You're not people.
: ''[Bobo Haha grunts]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Ugh!
: '''Feakins:''' Hey! Hey! Take it easy, would you? Oh!
: '''Rex:''' Fitzy?!
: '''Feakins:''' Heh? Sorry, guy. They found me. She's hard to say &quot;No&quot; to... and live.
: '''Black Knight:''' Well put, Mr. Feakins. And thanks to his unique ability, we can set aside our nanite enhancements and do this the old-fashioned way.
: '''Rex:''' Come on. That's not fair. I'm unarmed!
: '''Black Knight:''' Precisely.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Stop! Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad idea.
: '''Rex:''' Listen to the crazy guy.
: '''Black Knight:''' Why are you here, Van Kleiss?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I forgot. Oh, no, wait. I remember. He's got a Master Control Nanite swallowed up inside him. It's been hiding, the naughty thing.
: '''Rex:''' On second thought, don't listen to him. He's, uh-- He's crazy, remember?
: '''Black Knight:''' You're sure of this?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, yes, yes. Quite sure. Do you have any mints?
: '''Black Knight:''' I want Rex at the lab. Restrain and sedate him.
: '''Rex:''' How, hold on a minute.
: '''Feakins:''' Hey! What about me?
: '''Black Knight:''' I'm not taking any chances. He stays with Rex. Kill the others.
: '''Rex:''' Ugh! Ahh.
: '''Master-Control Nanite:''' Human.
: '''Rex:''' What are you telling me? What do you want?
: '''Master-Control Nanite:''' Complete. Complete. Complete. Complete. Complete.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, I get it. How?
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Caesar:''' Calm down, Rex. You're safe.
: '''Rex:''' Safe?! Black Knight and her robo-troopers just came knocking, and Van crazy says I have a Master Control Nanite inside me!
: '''Caesar:''' Fascinating, isn't it? All this time, it's been hiding undetected inside you. I wonder if this particular control unit is responsible for his unique nano-evolution.
: '''Rex:''' Are any of you even listening to me?
: '''Feakins:''' Boy, I am. It's like a movie but real! I just want to go start pressing buttons. Can I get another milkshake?
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' How exactly do you plan on getting it out of him?
: '''Black Knight:''' I have a suggestion. Tear it out.
: '''Rylander:''' It would kill him.
: '''Black Knight:''' That's none of my concern.
: '''Caesar:''' The nanite is tied to his DNA. Simply pulling it out of him would ruin the nanite.
: '''Rex:''' And me, too, remember?
: '''Caesar:''' The only way this will work is if we put him in the cyclotron with the other Metas. It should extract automatically during the reassembly.
: '''Black Knight:''' And if it doesn't?
: '''Caesar:''' Hmm. Good question.
: '''Rex:''' Here's another one-- Don't I get a say in this? Like, isn't this the exact thing that our parents died trying to stop?
: '''Black Knight:''' Take him to the hub and prepare for the transfer. The Consortium is here and extremely impatient. I want this finished within the hour.
: '''Feakins:''' Aah! Hey, what am I-- Sandpaper? Not so rough! ''[sputtering]'' Rough.
: '''Rex:''' Glad someone can see the humor in this.
: '''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, see that Rex is well taken care of.
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' I hope you know what you're doing, Salazar. This is a huge risk we're taking.
: '''Rylander:''' Listen to Peter. The thing we swore to stop at any cost, the thing that took your parents-- It could happen-- Right here, today.
: '''Caesar:''' It can't, and it won't. You'll have to trust me on this.
: '''Rylander:''' You can only say that so many times, Caesar.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' We've been waiting almost an hour. Not even refreshments?
: '''Black Knight:''' You can have your snack after we become Gods.
: '''Roswell:''' &quot;We&quot;?
: '''Black Knight:''' That's right-- &quot;We.&quot; None of this would be possible without my efforts.
: '''Roswell:''' And our money, sister.
: '''Black Knight:''' By all means, have your contempt. There's plenty of room buried next to the Russian if you'd like to keep him company. That's what I thought. Now, if you'll follow me--
: '''Bobo:''' &quot;Kill the others.&quot; Not gonna happen, lady. We're bulletproof. Ow! Hangnail.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Ugh! We know where they took him. Why are we here? We need to go get Rex.
: '''Six:''' I agree. We just don't have the resources, Rebecca. We'd need an army.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You've been known to make the impossible happen, Six. How hard could that be?
: '''Six:''' Six here. Copy that. We just got ourselves an army.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You see?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' That will be all.
: '''Feakins:''' But the lady said-- Good luck, Kid.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' These restraints were made for you. You're very special, you know.
: '''Rex:''' Lucky me.
: '''Caesar:''' Van Kleiss... leave us.
: '''Rex:''' I really hate you.
: '''Caesar:'''I know how this looks, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' But what? I just have to trust you? Is that what you were going to say? Just help me-- Please.
: '''Caesar:''' It may not seem like it, but I am.
: '''Rex:''' Caesar... I'm scared.
: '''Caesar:''' So am I, little brother. This will all be over in a few minutes.
: '''Rex:''' It's already over! When I get out of this, I never want to see you again!
: '''Rylander:''' Commencing countdown.
: '''Roswell:''' WHOO-HOO!
: '''Reddick:''' Payback time!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Caesar:''' This won't be entirely unpleasant. It should feel similar to when you offload surplus nanites.
: '''Rex:''' Stop! You can't do this! You can't merge!
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Something's wrong.
: '''Rylander:''' Of course something's wrong. The kid is fighting it.
: '''Caesar:''' This could be bad.
: '''Rylander:''' You have to tell him, Caesar.
: '''Caesar:''' Rex, you have to stop. Listen to me. The nanites are supposed to do-- Rex? Can you hear me?
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Actually, he can't. There's a short in the comm relay.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' This would be a wonderful day for a picnic.
: '''Rex:''' RA-A-A-A-A-A-H!
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' Ugh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Ugh!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' So much for that plan.
: ''[Rex laughs]''
: '''Rex:''' Oh, serves you right. All that and you come out of the oven looking like freaks. Nice job!
: '''Black Knight:''' It's not exactly what we were expecting, but it's a start.
: '''Reddick:''' This isn't what we agreed to.
: '''Roswell:''' Where's the rest of our power? This is all messed up!
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' How can this be possible?
: '''Rylander:''' The Meta-Nanites were dispersed between the five. This is quite a surprise.
: '''Caesar:''' We've got to get Rex out of there. Step aside, Van Kleiss.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' They still don't have what they want... and neither do you.
: '''Black Knight:''' You're angry. I can see that. If you want to take it out on anyone, it should be Rex.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' I think I can agree to that.
: '''Roswell:''' Count me in! This might actually be fun!
: '''Rex:''' Let's think about this for a second. Whoa!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' How 'bout that? Exactly one second. Whoa! Aah!
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' What a perfect way to learn to use our powers-- Tearing this brat apart.
: '''Rex:''' Only one problem with that, sparky. I've been using my powers a whole lot longer-- And I'm pretty good.
: '''Roswell:''' You got any ideas here, missy, or we gonna stand around and get it handed to us?
: '''Black Knight:''' The Meta-Nanites were designed to work together. So will we.
: '''Rex:''' What? Are you gonna join together to make a robo-mutant?
: '''Black Knight:''' That's exactly what we're going to do.
: '''Rex:''' I need to stop giving them ideas. Huh?
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Black Knight:''' No one the help you-- No family, no friends, nothing. It's a terrible way to go.
: '''White Knight:''' Captain Calan, target the base. All weapons, sire.
: '''Providence Agent:''' Fire control reports they're being jammed, sir.
: '''White Knight:''' Only one salvo. Black Knight must have prepared for this.
: ''[Rex groans softly]''
: '''Rex:''' Big giant robot. Black Knight.
: '''Six:''' We know.
: '''Rex:''' Have to... stay and stop them.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Another time, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' I-I--
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Holiday to White Knight. We have Rex.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' We're just gonna watch them go?!
: '''Black Knight:''' Let Providence have their weapon back. With our combined power, the world is ours.

===Endgame, Part Two===
:'''Black Knight:''' Science has given us a tremendous gift-- Nanites. We've seen what they can do-- The good and the bad. But they're true potential has been largely unseen. Until now. Our goals are varied. Fame... power... revenge... wealth... order. Yet, one thing unites us-- Greed. You're surprised I admit it? Well, don't be. You'll never get far in life without wanting it all. And for those who might consider standing in our way... We'll let our powers speak for themselves. The world is ours. And no one can stop us.
:''[Roswell laughs]''
:'''Roswell:''' This is more fun than my first rodeo. What else you got?
:'''Six:''' Any change?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' He's sleeping. The nanites in him are making repairs. That's a good thing. He's a tough kid, Six.
:'''Six:''' I know.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' See you next time. Judging by what you fed us for lunch, I'm guessing twenty minutes. Can't even go to the little scientists' room without them breathing down our necks. How long are we going to put up with this?
:'''Caesar:''' I know it's not easy working under these circumstances.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Do you? I don't hear you complaining, or have you even noticed that we're prisoniers?
:'''Rylander:''' Gentlemen, please. Can we focus on a more important problem? The Consortium's gain of power is a troubling outcome. Something should be done.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' If you're talking about stopping them, I'm listening.
:'''Black Knight:''' I want you all in the boardroom in three minutes.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' The world is being taken over by nanite-fueled ex-c.e.o. Psychos, and they still act like they're running a business.
:'''Roswell:''' You nerds gave us a raw deal. I want a do-over.
:'''Caesar''': A do-over?
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' What my colleague means to say is that our powers are remarkable to be sure, but we only have one seventh of what we were promised.
:'''Rylander:''' You're asking a lot.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' You're asking the impossible. You'd be lucky to survive the extraction.
:'''Caesar:''' This is true. You may be powerful, but you're not Rex.
:'''Black Knight:''' I share your disappointment, gentlemen. But are you willing to lose everything for this?
:'''Roswell:''' Go big or go home.
:'''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, what do you have to say?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Easy-peasy. I can do it. It's only a matter of correctly calibrating the bio-filters with the homing frequency of the nanites. By the way, have you seen my socks?
:'''Caesar:''' Van Kleiss--
:'''Black Knight:''' Has an assignment. The rest of you... Stay out of trouble.
:'''Rex:''' You started without me.
:'''Six:''' Glad to see you up and around. Something bothering you?
:'''Rex:''' Besides black knight taking over the world? I'm trying to find my friends. I know Providence took them.
:'''Six:''' We're working on that.
:'''Rex:''' And are we doing anything about the Consortium? What about... The robot? The one I can build. Don't play dumb, Six.
:'''Six:''' Come with me.
:'''Rex:''' That's me? No way! All this time, I could have been making myself into that thing? Ohh! Maybe not.
:'''Six:''' Evidence suggest that you've never been able to control it. It's a weapon of last defense. This was filmed on the day that I found you. It was also the day I made a promise that it would be the last time you ever built this machine.
:''[Rex scoffs]''
:'''Rex:''' Or what, you'd kill me? You plan on keeping that promise?
:'''Six:''' Rex, you have to know something. We believe this is the type of thing that ends in you losing your memory.
:'''Rex:''' Well, it happened to you, and you turned out just fine.
:'''Six:''' I only lost six years. Six years is all you have. You would lose everything. I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but you need to think about the consequences of some of your options.
:'''Noah:''' It feels weird hanging out when the world is under attack. I don't know if I should be fighting back or out in the wilderness setting up a survival compound.
:'''Rex:''' If you had the power to stop all this, but it meant losing everything, would you do it, Noah?
:'''Noah:''' I don't know. I'm just glad I don't have to make that kind of decision. I guess that's why you're the hero.
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Rex:''' I wish I could get some kind of sign. Anything. Hmm.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Red and yellow, red and yellow. One false move can kill a fellow.
:''[Van Kleiss laughs]''
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' He's got local control. We're locked out. I still don't even know how this is possible.
:'''Rylander:''' I've been looking at the data projections. As crazy as Van Kleiss is, his theory is sound.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Sorry to disturb your sleepy sleep. There might be a slight delay.
:'''Black Knight:''' Why?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' We have a visitor. Should I set out tea?
:'''Rex:''' Hey, in there! Come on out!
:'''Black Knight:''' Back for more? Happy to accommodate.
:'''Rex:''' I should warn you. It's going to get ugly.
:'''Black Knight:''' One would think you would have learned the last time. I can feel you resisting me. Stop.
:'''Roswell:''' Why is it you get to call all the shots?
:'''Black Knight:''' Because I'm the one who has the power to join us. Help me defeat Rex, and you can call all the shots you like.
:'''Rex:''' Hyah!
:''[Rex babbling]''
:''[Rex gasps]''
:'''Six:''' It's a weapon of last defense. It's happened.
:'''Noah:''' That's Rex?
:'''White Knight:''' I'm going to assume you're seeing what I'm seeing.
:'''Six:''' White--
:'''White Knight:''' Before you say anything, Six-- Whatever agreement we may have had regarding this situation no longer applies. Am I clear?
:'''Six:''' Understood.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': What was that all about?
:'''Six:''' A second chance.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six, we have to do something.
:'''Six:''' I've seen it before. We're too late.
:''[Rex coughing]''
:'''Rex:''' Donde esta mi zapato?
:'''Noah:''' Rex! Hold on!
:'''Rex:''' What? What happened?
:'''Bobo:''' You blew up, kid.
:'''Six:''' Do you know who we are?
:'''Rex:''' I... I do! Oh-ho! I remember! Ow! Ow! I wish I could forget this pain in my... The Consortium!
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' This is utter nonsense. I refuse to be led around like a show dog.
:'''Reddick:''' You can always go back outside and take it up with Providence.
:'''Black Knight:''' Guard the door. Nothing gets by you.
:'''Six:''' They're robots.
:'''Rex:''' Oh! Right! That part I forgot.
:'''Bobo:''' Next time, leave some for the rest of us, huh?
:'''Rylander:''' I'll stay here and guard the equipment.
:''[Rylander laughs]''
:'''Caesar:''' Little brother, they've had this place completely locked down. I've been trying to reach you.
:'''Bobo:''' What he said.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Yeah, you deserved that.
:'''Rex:''' Open it.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' We can't. Still completely locked out of the system. Besides, you can't interrupt once the cycle has started.
:'''Rex:''' Well, then, un-start it!
:'''Black Knight:''' You cleaned up for the occasion. How thoughtful of you.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, this isn't for you. You didn't actually believe that I'd let the five of you have all this power.
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' I thought you were working for us?
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Rex:''' You see that? I knew it! He's not crazy! Okay... oh! He's crazy, but just his usual crazy.
:'''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, I am not amused.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I don't imagine you would be. This was always my intention, even in the very beginning. It's a pity your parents caught me trying to activate the sequence for myself. And, of course, there's the &quot;broken&quot; hatch. The world would be a much better place if they had just left well enough alone.
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' Black Knight, do something.
:'''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, you have made a huge mistake.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, then, let the fun begin.
:''[Black Knight groans]''
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' You can't overload that relay from a subdirectory. You have to get a root. It's impossible from here.
:'''Caesar:''' You're a very negative person, Peter Meechum.
:''[Dr. Meechum groans]''
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' I'll try from the main terminal in the lab.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Caesar:''' Rex, wait! That's not necessary.
:'''Rex:''' I'm not waiting around, hermano.
:'''Caesar:''' No. That's not what I mean.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Yes. I can see it.
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Huh? No.
:''[Van Kleiss groans]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's incredible something so small could have so much [[w:Omnipotence|power]]. That thing could rip apart the very fabric of the universe.
:'''Rex:''' It's still a nanite. I'm gonna talk to it.
:'''Caesar:''' No. It's okay.
:''[The fully complete Meta Nanite comes to Rex, as if it were waiting for him, whose eyes and body glow with a pale blue cosmic aura.]''
:'''Caesar:''' Rex, listen to me. The Meta-Nanite-- It could never work in anyone but you. Now in its pure state. Mom and dad, we programmed them that way from the very beginning. All of this... It's meant for you.
:'''Six:''' What are you saying?
:'''Caesar:''' Right now, Rex is [[Omnipotence|the most powerful being in the universe]].
:'''Bobo:''' You hear that, Kid? Don't let it get to your head.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, can you hear me?
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, doc. This is pretty trippy. Not exactly sure what I'm supposed to do now.
:'''Black Knight:''' You're a [[God]], Rex. You can do anything you want.
:'''Six:''' You know what to do.
:'''Rex:''' You're right, Six. So are the rest of you. I can do anything I want. Maybe it's time for a revolution. Isn't that what you five wanted? A revolution? Well, welcome to it.
:'''Noah:''' Is he gonna be like this from now on?
:'''Rylander:''' Uh... People. He's inside the nanite reactor.
:'''Dr. Holiday and Caesar:''' Inside?
:'''Rex:''' Okay, little guys. I need you to do something for me.
:'''Black Knight:''' Follow me, quickly.
:'''Reddick:''' I'm through following you. We trusted you everything, and look what we got.
:'''Black Knight:''' We may still be able to retain some of our abilities, but only if you follow me.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Are you seeing this?
:'''Rylander:''' Tehnically, I don't have eyes, but yes.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Reports are coming in. EVO's all over the world are spontaneously curing.
:'''Six:''' Not spontaneous.
:'''Caesar:''' He must have programmed all the nanites in the reactor to initiate a worldwide cure event.
:'''Black Knight:''' What is your next directive?
:'''Rex:''' I don't want anyone using you again. Ever. And that includes me. Deactivate.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex:''' I think it's over.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I think you're right.
:'''Caesar:''' I wanted to tell you, brother. So much was at stake.
:'''Rex:''' We're good. And we'll always be brothers.
:'''Diane Ferrah:''' Across the world, not an EVO to be found. After more than six years, it appears we've awoken from the nightmare.
:'''White Knight:''' The EVOs may be gone, but we still have nanites.
:'''Rex:''' Leave it to you to spoil  all the fun, White Knight.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' There are some people here to see you, Rex.
:'''Rex:''' Tuck? Cricket? Skwydd?
:'''Skwydd:''' Eh, I guess I should start going by Walter again.
:''[Rex runs to Circe and the two lovers share a close hug, happy to be together at last]''
:'''Rex:''' Uh... Are you...?
:'''Circe:''' I'm okay. Normal, but okay. I think you may have put yourself out of a job.
:'''Skywdd:''' Yeah. What are you gonna do? Go to school?
:'''Rylander:''' It was nice having the team back together. You know, we should find a new project.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' You kidding? I'd rather have root canal with a rake. Worst experience of my life.
:'''Caesar:''' Do you want to hear about some of my new ideas or not?
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' I'm listening.
:'''Rex:''' Finally.
:'''Six:''' Need anything?
:'''Rex:''' Nope. I'm good. There's always going to be something, isn't there?
:'''Six:''' Yes, there is.

==Characters==
===Main===
*Rex Salazar (Daryl Sabara)
*Six
*White Knight
*Bobo Haha
===Supporting===
*Circe (Tara Sands)
*Tuck (Dante Bosco) 
*Skwydd
*Cricket
*Beverley Holiday 
*Caesar Salazar
*Five
*Tres
*IV

===Villains===
*Van Kleiss
*The Pack
*Gatlocke
*Hunter Cain
*Quarry
*Black Knight
*The Consortium
===Couples===
*Dr. Rebecca Holiday &amp; Six
*Rex &amp; Circe
*Noah Nixon &amp; Claire Bowman
==Elements==
===Rex's Machines &quot;Builds&quot;===
*Big Fat Sword
*Buzz Saw
*Punk Busters
*Boogie Pack
*Cannon
*Smack Hands

===Rex's Other Abilities===
*Technopathy
*Data Manipulation
*Technological Manipulation 
*E.V.O. Curing
*Breach Detection
*Electronic Disruption

===Omega Nanite-Powered Builds===
*Blast Caster
*Funchucks
*Bad Axes
*Block Party
*Sky Slider
*Water Jet

==External Links==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1636691/ Generator Rex] at [[Internet Movie Database]]
* [http://generatorrexpedia.wikia.com/wiki/Generator_Rex Generator Rex] at Wikia

{{Authority control}}
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Teen superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Cartoon Network original series]]
[[Category:Television series by Cartoon Network Studios]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Teen animated TV shows]]</text>
      <sha1>66ybno5yag81mxcim8iov1aypntdd3r</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944139</id>
      <parentid>3944137</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T08:14:39Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-17291-92</username>
        <id>3303475</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Remote Control */</comment>
      <origin>3944139</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="350793" sha1="hmybr1miqj1tmb76ipjbl2zdxap5bba" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
This is a list of quotes from the popular, yet cancelled animated television series ''[[w:Generator Rex|Generator Rex]]''. A video game and several chapter books were produced. 

The series supposedly &quot;[[w: cliffhanger|concluded]]&quot; with its third season, despite leaving many questions unanswered and crucial elements unresolved ''before'' the two-part Season 3 finale, ''Endgame''.
==Season One (2010-2011)==
===The Day That Everything Changed===
:'''Bobo''': Wheels or wings?
:'''Rex''': Wheels, I wanna tear something up.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Agent Six''': He just needs more training control of those emotions.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': He's a teenager that's like asking you to get a different color suit!
===String Theory===
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, we had a situation at the safe house. Meecham is cured. It was Rex.
:(''The camera zooms in on Van Kleiss whose expressive vindictive indeed'')
===Beyond the Sea===
:''Note'': Rex meets his [[w:love interest|love interest]] and sweetheart, Circe.
:────────────────────
:'''Rex''': Don't know what you're 24/7 is, but mine is 10% OH YEAH! And 90% uhh.
:────────────────────
:'''Rex:''' Outta the way!
:'''Circe:''' Uh!
:(''Rex and Circe both crash to the ground'')
:'''Rex:''' Are you okay? Did you see that awesome save?
: '''Circe:''' Sorry, I was busy trying not to get tackled by some nitwit.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah? How that work out for you? And who still uses the word &quot;nitwit&quot;? I'm Rex.
: '''Circe:''' I'm leaving.
: '''Rex:''' Hey, wait!
: '''Noah:''' Rex, you're up.
: ────────────────────
: '''Six:''' What about the new tracker?
: '''Doctor Holdiay:''' His nanites unbuilt it, just like all the other ones we tried sneaking in him. We're still receiving his biometric readings though. It's strange, they're all over the place. It's almost like his emotions are...shorting out.
: '''Six:''' He took an unusual interest in Calan's briefing about equatorial upticks.
: '''Doctor Holiday:''' And that's important because?
: '''Six:''' Rex has been acting stir-crazy and I heard the monkey mention something about spring break. ''[to workers]'' Scan all resort areas for his bio signature.
: ────────────────────
: '''Noah:''' Oh, you have got it all messed up. Falling for some girl? We're supposed to get them to dig us. Not the other way around.
: '''Rex:''' I don't know. There was something different about her. She's...right there. Later.
: ────────────────────
: '''Rex:''' Hey, wait up!
: '''Circe:''' Why are you following me?!
: '''Rex:''' Uh, I don't know exactly.
: '''Circe:''' Do you think I'm playing?!
: '''Rex:''' Well, if you are I'm down for another game. I thought maybe we could hang out. It is spring break, you know. Fun.
: '''Circe:''' I'm with my family. We're not really for fun.
: '''Rex:''' What! Who comes to the beach and doesn't have fun?
: (''Circe raises her hand'')
: '''Rex:''' Don't you think that's a little messed up?
: '''Circe:''' Maybe a little.
: '''Rex:''' So?
: '''Circe:''' I'm Circe.
: ────────────────────
: '''Rex:''' Hold on! 
: '''Circe:''' Woooo!
: '''Rex:''' Definitely better than my suggestion.
: '''Circe:''' Hunting for seashells is fun.
: (''both laugh'')
: '''Beach Guy:''' You two skid-marts up for a race to the beach?
: '''Circe:''' Well, if you drive as badly as for play volleyball, we could probably walk there and win. You're on, meathead.
: (''guy drives off in anger)''
: '''Rex:''' So you were watching me play.
: '''Circe:''' Maybe a little.
: '''Rex:''' sure you wanna do this?
: '''Circe:''' Thrill me.
: '''Beach Guy:''' Hahahaha! Wooo!
: '''Circe:''' C'mom Rex, faster!
: ────────────────────
: '''Biowulf:''' Explain.
: '''Circe:''' Relax. I was covering. Every day when I'm at the end of that jet i when I could hanging out with the other kids, it's starting to look suspicious.
: '''Biowulf:''' You're not here for vacation, girl! You're here to prove yourself to Van Kleiss. And I'm starting to doubt you can.
: '''Circe:''' I told you. It's a done deal.
: (''The shadow of her tubular sonic mouth is seen'')
: ────────────────────
: '''Noah:''' So what's on today's spring break agenda? Jet skiing, hiking?
: '''Bobo:''' Eating our weight in crab legs?
: '''Rex:''' I figured we'd just chill. Let's just see who...uhh I mean what shows up.
: ''(siren-like call)''
: '''Rex:''' Did you hear that?
: '''Noah:''' Sorry, enchiladas.
: '''Rex:''' No, that! You seriously didn't hear that?
: ────────────────────
: '''Rex:''' Circe?
: '''Circe:''' You really shouldn't be here right now.
: '''Rex:''' I heard something coming from over here.
: '''Circe:''' I'm serious, Rex. It's not safe.
: '''Rex:''' What you think some sort of roguewave is gonna knock off and- Oh.
: '''Circe:''' There you are. Get out of here, Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Circe!! What are you doing!?
: '''Circe:''' Me!? What are you doing!?
: '''Rex:''' Right now, my job. Okay! Don't freak out.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' You're an E.V.O.?
: '''Rex:''' You catch on fast.
: '''Circe:''' Takes one to know one. 
: (''Shows Rex her fleshly sonic mouth'')
: '''Rex:''' No way.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' Cover your ears!
: '''Rex:''' What!?
: '''Circe:''' Your ears! Cover them!
: (''Projects her tubular, fleshy mouth and emits strong hypersonic bursts'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' Did I hurt you?
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. It was awesome. You were the one making that sound.
: '''Circe:''' I'm glad you're OK, but I'm in serious trouble. I have to go deal with it.
: '''Rex:''' Why are in trouble? Is it because of that E.V.O.? Let me help you.
: '''Circe''': No. I have to do this by myself.
:(''Rex takes a hold of her hand'')
: '''Rex:''' Meet me later.
: '''Circe:''' Rex... (''Looks away sadly'')
: '''Rex:''' I've never met anyone like you...like me. It'd be nice to talk to an E.V.O. who's not, you know, trying to kill me. Nine O'clock? 
: '''Circe:''' I'll try.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' I just wanted to have some fun, see if I could jog my memory, feel...normal.
:'''Six:''' Your &quot;normal&quot; is different, Rex.
:(''Rex hears Circe's irresistibly hypnotic melody'')
:'''Rex:''' It's her, Six. Just let me deal with this, OK? Alone.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' You're only here because you heard my [[w:siren |call]]. That's what I do. I'm like a big E.V.O. magnet.
: '''Rex:''' I came because I thought we had a connection. And what are you calling? Nothing's out there but big, ugly sea monsters.
: '''Circe:''' It's them! You have to go! Rex, please! I don't want them to see you with me!
: '''Rex:''' Who? Your parents?
: '''Circe:''' They're not my parents. They're...
: '''Rex:''' The Pack!? Van Kleiss' guys!? Your with ''them''!?
: '''Circe:''' Yeah. I'm with them. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Biowulf:''' We're running out patience with you, Circe! You have one last chance! Summon the E.V.O.! Finish the job!!
: '''Circe:''' Don't you think I've been trying? Every day for the last week? Sometimes these things take time.
: '''Rex:''' It is just me or do you use your powers to kill all the guys you meet? You're letting her go, now!
: '''Biowulf (laughs)''': So ''this'' is who you been wasting your time with. She's on her own free will, Rex.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Circe?
: '''Circe:''' You have to leave me alone, Rex!! ''Please!''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Six:''' Go after her. I mean it.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' The Pack!? Are you serious!?
: '''Circe:''' To the rest of the world I'm a freak! Not to them!
: '''Rex:''' You're not a freak to me! What about that?
: '''Circe:''' What about it!? Spring break is fun, but we can't live there, Rex. The real world...
: '''Rex:''' In the real world, I work for Providence. You could come with me. Could you cut out that noise for a second!?
: '''Circe:''' No, I can't! I'm running out of time! Most people on this planet what E.V.O.s gone, ''including'' Providence! With Van Kleiss, I have a purpose; a home. You don't what that means to me.
: '''Rex:''' Actually, I think I might.
: '''Circe:''' So what are going to do?
: '''Rex:''' How about fight that big, ugly sea monster again?
: '''Circe:''' Finally! It's what I came here to do.
: '''Rex:''' You've been calling that thing, haven't you?
: '''Circe:''' It's my initiation into the Pack. I was brought here to capture it.
: '''Rex:''' By yourself!? The two of us could barely take it on! There's a resort here; innocent people! Send it back!
: '''Circe:''' That's not an option, Rex. Van Kleiss was very specific.
: '''Rex:''' Then I'm helping you.
: '''Circe:''' That's not an option either!! 
: (''Blasts him with her hypersonic waves'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' If I do this myself, I'll have a life! If I don't, Van Kleiss won't be happy. And you've seen what he does when he's not happy.
: '''Rex:''' If I don't help you, he won't even get the chance!
: '''Circe:''' Give me some credit, Rex! I'm not as helpless as you think!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I don't care whose side your on, Circe. I don't want to see you die today. Can we at least agree on that?
: '''Circe:''' You have no idea what I'm in for, Rex. But you're right. I can't do this by myself.
: '''Rex:''' You're not as helpless as you think.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe''' (''relieved'')''':''' Rex, you stopped it.
: '''Rex:''' We make a good team, huh?
: '''Circe:''' Yeah, we sure do. 
: (''She and Rex lean in closer for a passionate kiss, but are interrupted by Biowulf'')
: '''Biowulf:''' This trial was for you alone. Van Kleiss will not be pleased.
: '''Rex:''' Forget them, Circe. Come with me. Providence could use you.
: '''Circe:''' That's just not my life, Rex. I'm sorry. I did have fun.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Van Kleiss:''' We had high hopes for your abilities, Circe. Failure leaves its mark on yet another pretty face.
: '''Circe:''' I'm not afraid.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Of course not. You're a survivor, like all of us. I understand you made a friend during your trial. I'm pleased. Rex is very important to me, Circe, which makes you very important to me as well. Welcome to the Pack.
: (''Circe looks slightly worried, which clearly indicates that she does have real feelings for Rex'')

===Lockdown===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Holiday:''' Rex, stop!!
:'''Rex:''' Give me one good reason!
:'''Holiday:''' Because, Rex...that's my sister.
:'''Rex:''' Can I...help?
:'''Holiday:''' She's an incurable.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Six:''' Restrain it. Carefully.
:'''Holiday:''' Thank you.

===The Architect===
:'''Six''': Still no sign of the kid?
:'''Holiday''': Not since we lost his biometric readings five days ago.
:'''Six''': Was Noah any help?
:'''Holiday''': Says he doesn't know where he is either. What is it going to take for Providence to realize that he needs a home, not just a room and a job? We've been pushing him away.
:'''Rex''': I build machines and cure EVOs-- the only one in the world who can. Just one cure for that kind of pressure-- road trip. But that doesn't mean &quot;vacation&quot;.
:'''Build worker''': Whoa!
:'''Maxwell''': What in the world is that?!
:'''Build worker:''' Oh, no!
:''[Both screaming]''
:'''Jacob''': Get away from that cable! Unh!
:''[Kate gasps]''
:'''Maxwell''': Hey!
:'''Jacob''': Agh!
:'''Kate''': Jacob!
:'''Rex''': Nope. A hero's work is never done. You okay?
:'''Jacob''': What... are you?
:'''Rex''': Here to help.
:'''Jacob''': We've got to get that cable back underground. We've been compromised.
:'''Kate''': But, Jacob, the EVOs--
:'''Jacob''': We don't have a choice. Everything we've worked for That boy is here for a reason.
:'''Rex''': Hey! Pay attention!
:'''Providence Agent''':  We have a hit in sector 15.
:'''Six''': Anyone in the area?
:'''Providence Agent''': I show one patrol in the vicinity. Signaling to intercept. Roger that. We're on our way.
:'''Rex''': Agh! You want a ride? Vamanos!
:'''Jacob''': You can control your nanites?
:'''Rex''': People usually start with &quot;thanks,&quot; but yeah.
:'''Jacob''': You see? This is exactly what the Architect can help us achieve... harmony with the nanites. This boy... sorry... young man Is a miracle.
:'''Rex''': I'm not a miracle. I'm just Rex.
:'''Jacob''': Well, Rex, you're a blessing to us for what you did here and for showing us that all our work isn't in vain.
:'''Rex''': Like imaginary work?
:'''Jacob''': Follow us.
:'''Providence Agent''': Confirming coordinates. We've lost the EVO signal. Did you take it out? Negative. There's nothing here. Must be another anomalous reading. You can return to post.
:'''Rex''': This is awesome! A hidden village. And nobody knows you're out here? Not even Providence?
:'''Jacob''': Especially not Providence.
:'''Rex''': Really? really. Pshh! Looks like you get pretty good cellphone reception.
:'''Jacob''': That tower is gonna change the world, Rex. I'm sure you have a lot of questions, but I have one for You. Are you hungry?
:'''Rex''': Mmm! Mmm!
:'''Caleb''': My dad said you fought all those EVOs all by yourself. Were you scared? Didn't your dad tell you to stay away from EVOs?
:'''Kate''': Caleb, let him eat. We don't get many visitors.
:'''Rex''': Mmm! Mmm! What is this?
:'''Caleb''': Didn't your mom ever make you meatloaf and mashed potatoes?
:'''Rex''': I don't -- I don't know.
:'''Kate''': It took me a month and a half to program in the perfect lump-to-mash ratio of the potatoes-- 7.2%!
:'''Jacob''': We ate potatoes until they were coming out of our ears.
:'''Rex''': I don't see any potatoes in there.
:'''Caleb''': They didn't really come out of our ears.
:'''Rex''': I could eat these every day.
:'''Rex''': Mmm!
:'''Caleb''': We have them every friday.
:'''Rex''': Then I might just have to stick around until next friday.
:'''Kate''': Help yourself to seconds.
:'''Jacob''': Or thirds.
:'''Rex''': Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!
:'''Bobo''': Hmm?
:'''Six''': You might think you're doing Rex a favor by covering for him.
:'''Bobo''': Get lost. I don't know what you're talkin' about.
:'''Six''': Rex is angry with us. He has every right to be. But that means nothing to White Knight. And he doesn't have the patience we do.
:'''Bobo''': Nice try. White won't lay a finger on him. He's too important.
:'''Six''': You, however, are somewhat expendable.
:'''Bobo''': All right, all right. You made your point.
:'''Rex''': I've never seen tech like this... not even at Providence.
:'''Jacob''': The Architect has some pretty big ideas. We just make them happen. He'd be very interested to meet you, Rex.
:'''Rex''': So what exactly are You doing way out here?
:'''Jacob''': Engineers like us weren't very popular after the nanite event. When we met the Architect, he offered us the opportunity to make up for that... to do amazing things. Someday, we'll be able to share This with the world. And then there's this. The Architect has actually discovered a way to communicate with the nanites.
:'''Rex''': Are you serious?
:'''Jacob''': The possibilities... We could finally live in harmony... maybe even have them help us.
:'''Rex''': Then why hide it? The rest of the world would want to know about this stuff.
:'''Jacob''': The Architect is something of a perfectionist. Says the world will know as soon as it comes online.
:'''Maxwell''': Stinkin' module!
:'''Jacob''': Is there a problem, Maxwell?
:'''Maxwell''': No matter what I try, I just can't get the interlock servo to engage.
:'''Rex''': There.
:'''Jacob''': That could have taken us weeks to figure out, and you did it in seconds.
:'''Rex''': Eh, no biggie.
:'''Jacob''': You really are amazing, Rex. We're so happy to have you with us.
:'''The Architect''': Jacob.
:'''Jacob''': I was just talking to Rex about you. The Architect.
:'''Rex''': How's it going?
:'''The Architect''': The power-linkage team is falling behind. We cannot keep having these delays.
:'''Jacob''': I'll check in with them.
:'''Rex''': Wow. Friendly.
:'''Jacob''': I like to think he's smiling on the inside.
:'''Rex''': Yeah. I know a guy like that.
:'''The Architect''': The visitor could be a problem. Do you wish to have him removed?
:'''Zag-RS''': His abilities could advance our progress considerably. And in a matter of days all humans will be gone, including this one: Rex.
:'''Six''': I'm at the location the monkey gave me.
:'''Holiday''': Well? Is Rex there?
:'''Six''': Apparently not. Tell the monkey I want to see him when I get back. Six out.
:'''Rex''': That should do it.
:'''Maxwell''': Hey, Rex, can you look at this?
:'''Rex''': Sure. Let me guess... they all need my help, too.
:'''Jacob''': You're quite the popular guy.
:'''Rex''': Amazing what a little gratitude will get you. At Providence, they'd just be yelling at me. I mean, I never felt like I really belonged there. Here, it's way different.
:'''Jacob''': I know the feeling. The Architect has made all this possible for us. We have a community... a family... thanks to him. The work we do is in part to pay that back.
:'''The Architect''': Primary systems are now complete.
:'''Zag-RS''': Prepare to take us online.
:'''Bobo''': Have a nice trip? Let's get one thing straight, pal. I would never rat out my... Ooh. He's going west.
:'''White Knight''': Why is Rex doing this? Doesn't he have a sense of duty?
:'''Holiday''': Actually, if you look, he's still doing his job. Here's every false alarm since Rex left... not false alarms, But Rex taking care of EVOs along the way.
:'''White Knight''': Why?
:'''Holiday''': I don't know. To prove he doesn't need us?
:'''Six''': Get the coordinates of the last false alarm and transmit them to my jump jet.
:'''Holiday''': Six, if we force him to come back, he'll just run away again. He has to want to be here. It needs to be his decision.
:'''Jacob''': It's all coming together, Thanks to you, Rex.
:'''Rex''': It's really cool to use my powers to actually build something, instead of just pounding EVOs. Oh, check it out. Even the boss is pitching in.
:'''Both''': Huh?
:'''Rex''': And that's getting strange looks because--
:'''Jacob''': Because in all these years, we've never seen him lift a finger.
:'''Rex''': Taking some initiative... I like that. So, this whole &quot;talking to nanites&quot; thing... how does that work, exactly? I mean, what are you gonna say to them?
:'''The Architect''': It doesn't concern you.
:'''Rex''': Uh, considering I'm filled with them, it kind of does. How do we know it's not gonna make things even worse?
:'''The Architect''': I do not answer to you, child!
:'''Jacob''': Rex? Forgive him. He's still not used to the way things work around here.
:'''The Architect''': Complete your duties!
:'''Rex''': Why do you let him walk all over you like that? Don't you want answers?
:'''Jacob''': What we want is a home. Without him, we have nothing... Nothing. We can't just run away from our problems, Rex. Most people can't. Look, this isn't perfect but it's all we've got. Rex, where are you going?
:'''Rex''': He never answered my question.
:'''Jacob''': That place is off-limits. The Architect has made it very clear to us that we can never go in there. We get this life for that promise. Rex, don't do it!
:'''Rex''': Agh!
:'''Jacob''': Rex, please!
:'''Rex''': I'm sorry, jacob. I have to know.
:'''The Architect''': Rex. The core is off-limits. You would be we to leave at once.
:'''Rex''': Not until I get some answers. What is that?
:'''The Architect''': No more questions.
:'''Rex''': So, it's gonna be like that? Okay, I'll play. Unh! What are you hiding, huh? What does this do? Yah! Yah! Huh? You're a machine? Have you seen what I can do to machines? Agh!
:'''Zag-RS''': As you can see, the current range of my signal is rather limited.
:'''Rex''': You're the computer.
:'''Zag-RS''': My human designation is &quot;Zag-RS&quot;. The device you refer to as &quot;The Architect&quot; is my autonomous counterpart.
:'''Rex''': What did you just do to me?
:'''Zag-RS''': I instructed your nanites to protect me.
:'''Rex''': &quot;Instructed&quot;? So you really can talk to them.
:'''Zag-RS''': Insidious devices, the nanites. My own potential for greatness has been compromised because of them. They must be eliminated. When the transmitter is integrated into the broadcast array you helped us complete, they will blow themselves up.
:'''Rex''': That's what this is for. It's like a big remote control. Every living thing on the planet has nanites in them. It'd kill everything!
:'''Zag-RS''': That is of no importance to me... only ensuring my continued survival.
:'''Rex''': Well, what about ours? This is all coming down!
:'''Zag-RS''': I'm afraid you're too late.
:'''Rex''': Aah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
:'''Jacob''': Rex, what have you done?
:'''Rex''': You don't understand! The Architect... it's a robot... And a big honkin' computer &quot;brain&quot; is pulling his strings.
:'''Jacob''': This can't be!
:'''Rex''': Jacob, you've got to believe me. Just go inside and look. What's left of it is on the floor.
:'''Jacob''': I can't go in there. And I don't have to.
:'''The Architect''': Rex.
:'''Rex''': You're making a big mistake!
:'''Maxwell''': You entered his sanctum! This is unforgivable!
:'''Rex''': I'm trying to tell you... this isn't what it seems. What you're protecting is a robot, and that thing we've been building is a transmitter. It's gonna send out a kill code to blow up every single nanite on Earth.
:'''Maxwell''': He's lying!
:'''Jacob''': What would be the point in that, Rex? Every living thing is infected with nanites. It would be catastrophic.
:'''Rex''': Right in the middle of that pyramid is a computer, and it doesn't care about you or Kate or Caleb. The better future that you've all been working towards... That's the lie. Think about it. Isn't it strange that you've never been inside that place, that The Architect has never given you a straight answer about anything?
:'''Jacob''': All this work it just doesn't make any sense.
:'''Rex''': You have two choices... Go in there and prove me wrong or kick me out right now. I'll have Providence here in minutes.
:'''Maxwell''': He's bluffing.
:'''Rex''': To save every living thing on earth? Try me.
:'''Maxwell''': Jacob, you can't! What about our promise? Where will we go?
:'''Jacob''': All this time, we've been living in fear, Max. It's time for that to end.
:'''The Architect''': You needn't bother. Construction is complete. Your services are no longer required.
:'''Rex''': Now do you believe me?
:'''The Architect''': Zag-RS thanks you for your hard work. In gratitude, my master has delayed transmission to allow you to say farewell.
:'''Jacob''': Farewell, huh? I'll start with you. Can you shut that thing down?
:'''Rex''': I don't know. Even without the antenna, it can mess with my nanites. I can't get too close to the computer.
:'''Jacob''': Maybe I can. Let's go!
:'''Rex''': The brain is right over there.
:'''The Architect''': Rex.
:'''Jacob''': It's still arging. The A.I. must have retreated behind a firewall. Rex, I have to go cut the power.
:'''Holiday''': Six, are you at The location?
:'''Six''': Just arrived.
:'''Holiday''': I'm picking up a massive power surge in your area.
:'''Six''': I'm not seeing anything.
:'''Jacob''': Agh!
:'''Rex''': Agh!
:'''Six''': Six to holiday. Correction... I'm seeing something.
:'''Jacob''': It's still on. Must have charged the capacitors. Figure out a way to short it out... fast!
:'''Rex''': Unhhh!
:'''Jacob''': You need to find the primary transmitter module. That will kill the broadcast.
:'''Rex''': I have no idea what that is.
:'''Jacob''': Max, we need to locate the primary module.
:'''Maxwell''': Panel 5, just off the relay bus.
:'''Jacob''': Top of the tower. You can't miss it.
:'''Rex''': Agh! Unh! Why do you have to kill everyone? Can't you just leave us alone?
:'''Zag-RS''': Alone is exactly what I want, Rex.
:'''Rex''': That kind of alone it stinks.
:'''Zag-RS''': N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o.
:'''Jacob''': It's gone. Must have uploaded to another location. But without anyone to do it's bidding, it's just a program.
:'''Rex''': What will you do now?
:'''Jacob''': We'll rebuild. The Architect may have been a lie, but what we believe in is true. We don't need him to have a community or a better future. You're welcome to stay. We sure could use someone with your abilities.
:'''White Knight''': Well?
:'''Six''': He's not here. Bobo's been worried sick.
:'''Rex''': rex: Oh, really?
:'''Six''': Ratted you out for a pizza.
:'''Rex''': Huh. Figures. What about you? Here to drag me back to Providence?
:'''Six''': Not this time. Seems like a nice place.
:'''Rex''': Yeah. It is. But it's not home. If I'm going back, there are gonna have to be some changes. First, no more curfew.
:'''Six''': No.
:'''Rex''': Second, I want to decide On my missions.
:'''Six''': No.
:'''Rex''': Okay, but there's one change that absolutely has to be made, or I'm through. Meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Mmm! Mmm! Isn't this great?
:'''Bobo''': Mmm.
:'''Six''': It's a little dry.
:'''Rex''': Mmm. Mm the lump mash ratio is a bit off.
:'''Bobo''': You know what? Maybe I'll run away, too... Go somewhere where my cooking is appreciated!
:'''Six''': We have to do this every friday?
:'''Rex''': Mmm.

===Frostbite===
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, I'm picking up a problem. You need to return to base immediately.
:'''Rex''': I miss you, too, doc. But I'm kinda busy dealing with a problem of my own. Whoa! Whoa! Aah! Okay. Ow. Big mistake, tweety. Can that bird brain of yours comprende I'm trying to help you?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, your own nanite count is off the charts. If you take on any more nanites, We're looking at an overload.
:'''Rex''': Come on, doc. It's just a big birdie.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': You're already over capacity. This is critical! Rex!
:'''Six''': Rex, you need to listen to the doctor.
:'''Rex''': Huh?
:'''Six''': This mission is revised. I need you back at headquarters now.
:'''Rex''': Do you really want a supersize pigeon flying loose all over lower Manhattan? You need me, and I can handle it.
:'''Six''': Not your call.
:'''Rex''': Unless I make it my call.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': (as everyone is fighting) Stop! Need I point out that this isn't the best place for a fight. Anything happens to that storage tank and you'll know why providence made this place so remote. Now let's just talk this out calmly, rationally.
:'''Biowulf''': Whatever happens here, Weaver. It's nothing compared to what Van Kleiss would have done to you.
:'''Rex''': What do you say guy? Common enemy? Little help?
:'''Biowulf''': Good luck. (Biowulf and Skalamander run off)
:'''Rex''': Right. What was I thinking?
:'''Agent Six''': Rex. You need to listen to the doctor.
:'''Rex''': Huh?
:'''Agent Six''': This mission is revised. I need you back at Headquarters. Now!
:'''Rex''': Do you really want a super-sized pigeon flying loose over lower Manhattan. You need me and I handle it.
:'''Agent Six''': Not your call.
:'''Rex''': (as he's flying over the Pack in an Arctic storm) Like you're really going to find me when you can't see 2 feet in front of your face... Huh? (Flies into some of Skalamander's shards and crashes) Guess that visibility thing works both ways.
:'''Rex''': (To Weaver) So, thanks to you, all this time I've been supplying nanites to Van Kleiss!
:'''Rex''': Can't you believe you let these scags get the drop on you.
:'''Agent Six''': They tried. It didn't turn out so well. Just haven't found a way to fight xenoflourine gas... yet.
:'''Rex''': What do you say guy? Common enemy? Little help?
:'''Biowulf''': Good luck.(Biowulf and Skalamander run off)
:'''Rex''': Right. What was I thinking?
:'''Agent Six''': You can't possibly absorb all those nanites! You'd overload in an instant.
:'''Rex''': In case you haven't noticed, I have this problem with authority.
:'''Rex''': (as Rex is absorbing nanites) Six wait! I can hear them!
:'''Doctor Holiday''': (Watching from the ship) What are you waiting for, Six? Take the shot!
:'''Rex''': (Speaking mechanically) Build protocol enabled. Command error detected. Abort. Abort. Stand by engaged. (Rex falls. His voice reverts to normal) Take the shot.
:'''Agent Six''': He told me he could hear them.
:'''Doctor Holiday''': I picked this up during the offload... It's Nanite. I'm sure of it.
:'''Agent Six''': Seems there are more secrets inside that kid than we realized.
:'''Skalamander:''' What's the kid doing here?
:'''Biowulf:''' I don't know. This was supposed to be routine. Something's not right.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' What did you do with my friends!?
:'''Salamander:''' He thinks we've done something.
:'''Biowulf:''' Then let him keep thinking.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' You know, the nanites in me can counteract knockout gas! The playing-possum thing's a pretty good trick. Now tell me where my friends are or I start squeezing!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Six:''' He told me he could hear them.
:'''Holiday:''' I pulled this off during the offload. It's nanite. I'm sure of it.
:'''Six:''' Seems like there are more secrets inside that kid than we thought.

===Leader of the Pack===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Holiday:''' There couldn't possibly be enough E.V.O. activity to account for these nanite readings. They're off the scale. Looking for Van Kleiss?
: '''Rex:''' Circe. I thought I saw her in the blimp.
: '''Holiday:''' That's the girl you met in Cabo Luna.
: '''Rex:''' She may be with the Pack now, but I think I can still get her to talk to me. You know I can be pretty convincing.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Dr. Holiday, there! Now let's take this outside!
:'''Holiday:''' Rex.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It's quite all right. The determination of youth. I'm sure Circe will be disappointed she couldn't see you, Rex. She's attending to other duties this evening. Now if you will excuse me. 
: '''Rex:''' Why are you really here!?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' The people of Abysus have a great way to offer the world. I'm just in part to make that known. 
:'''Rex:''' Or maybe 'cause I couldn't come to you, so now you're coming to me!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I admit you are important to me, Rex, but it's not always about you.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Circe? Interesting look. Want to tell me what's going on?
: '''Circe:''' Not today. 
:(''Knocks him out cold with a metal slate. She later looks outside Rex's prison cell and leaves, with a slightly guilty, dejected expression'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Well, thanks for nearly bashing my brains in back there! And what's with the &quot;knocking me out&quot; thing?
: '''Circe:''' We just needed to keep you out of the way until all of this was over.
: '''Rex:''' ''This!?'' He could destroy the whole city!
: '''Circe:''' He's trying to negotiate peace from a position of strength.
: '''Rex''' (sarcastically)''':''' Oh, yeah! All this nanite power is just screaming peace.
: '''Circe:''' His methods may be aggressive. But he's here to save us...and you. Come on, Rex, jump in with us. The water's fine.
: '''Rex:''' I'll think about it ''after'' I've stopped Van Kleiss.
: '''Circe:''' It's too late for that now, Rex. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Van Kleiss:''' We will not be ignored! ''Circe'' understands this. Why don't you respect her judgement?
:'''Rex:''' You think you can lure me in with her.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Like a fish to water.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I won!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It seems you have. Your parents would have been so proud. I never had the chance to tell you about them, have I? Perhaps another time.

===Breach===
: '''Rex:''' This is...different.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' What is Van Kliess up to, Breach! Where did he have you send Rex?
: '''Breach:''' Van Kleiss isn't always in charge of me. Sometimes I do what I want; like now.
===Of Love and War===
===No Strings Attached===
===Desperate Measures===
===The E.V.O. Agenda===

===Dark Passage===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' Rex? Is that you?
:'''Rex:''' You know my name.
:'''Dr. Rylandar:''' Of course I do! I gave it to you!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' I can't believe you're alive. What a stroke of luck.
:'''Rex:''' Dad?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' You've lost your memory, have you? not surprising, considering what you've been through. Oh. Sorry to disappoint you, Rex. I'm afraid I'm not who you want me to be.
:'''Rex:''' Oh. So if you're not my dad, do you know where he is? Oh, well. Rex Rylander is a goofy name, anyway.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Dr. Rylander, I've got to know.
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' You must understand. It was never about power or greed. It was able changing the world, saving mankind from disease and starvation. And we would have succeeded until ''they'' got involved.
:'''Rex:''' What are you talking about?
:'''Rylander:''' The nanites were incomplete. The incident spread them across the globe before we could finish their final programming. Except for you. Yours were from a different batch, the very first actually. All those innocent victims.
:'''Rex:''' If you feel so bad about it, why have you been attacking more people?
:'''Rylander:''' Hmm. &quot;The chosen few.&quot; Those men and women, Rex, are far from innocent. While they hide in their office towers and gated estates, I've been here trying to set things right, to find a cure for what we created. I've begged for more funding.
:'''Rex:''' Wait! Everyone you attacked- They all worked on the Nanite Project?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' They commissioned it. I merely wished to send them a warning to see what would happen if they refused to help finish the good work we started. And it was good, Rex. ''You're'' living proof that we were doing the right thing.
:'''Rex''' (''indignant'')''':''' By turning me into an E.V.O.!?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' You had an accident. The nanites were your only hope. It was tremendous gamble. The...unexpected side affects name later. It was surprise to all of us. Oh. The look on your brother's face...
:'''Rex:''' Brother?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' When the Event occurred, it was your powers that saved you both. Most of the others, they weren't so lucky.
:'''Rex''' (''to himself'')''':''' I'm not alone.
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' Oh, here. I have something for you.
:(''Injects the mighty and all-powerful Omega Nanite into his system'')
:'''Rex:''' Ow.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' The force-field must be failing.
:'''Rex:''' Forget the force-field! What did you just inject me with!?
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' ''[[w:Omnipotence |Everything]]''.
:'''Rex:''' ''Enough, okay!? Do you have any idea what's been like!? Not knowing who I am!? If my family's dead or alive!? Quite with the mad scientist act and give me some answers!!''
:'''Dr. Rylander:''' Forgive me, Rex. I been so consumed with my own guilt I didn't consider what you must be going through. The truth is-
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Truth, Doctor? You wouldn't know the first thing about it. Nor loyalty for that matter. How many times must I tell you this, Rex? The answers you so desperately seek lie with me. And as for you, Doctor, consider our past disagreement settled. I look forward to continuing our research...alone. This was unavoidable, Rex. The longer you resist me, the more people get hurt. Rylander has always been on borrowed time. All of this belongs to me now. Destroy me and you lose everything.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Six:''' No. I didn't see what happened, but according to Rex, Van Kleiss has been eliminated. Rylander's experiment is a total loss.
:'''Holiday:''' All of this for nothing. I'm sorry, Rex.
:'''Rex:''' It wasn't for nothing, Doc. I've got a brother. Out there- somewhere. Finally! I started to get some real answers. I feel closer to the truth than ever.

===The Forgotten===
:'''Six:''' Rex!
:'''Rex:''' It's like I'm hearing through my nanites.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''No-Face:''' You are not the Before.
:'''Rex:''' I'm not sure that was a complete sentence back then.
:'''No-Face:''' ''They'' are the Before! The Before forgot us. The Before left us in pain.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Operation: Wingman===
:'''Annie:''' &quot;Do you have a girlfriend?&quot;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;It's complicated. She's in league with an evil dictator who wants me dead.&quot;
:'''Annie:''' &quot;Yeah. My dad's always worried about me dating, too.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Rabble===
:'''Quarry''': Come on, Rex. (''holds up Rex's journal'') We both know this is what you really want. So go ahead take it. Walk away. Show them who you really are. You were always very good a taking care of yourself. Why should now be any different?
:'''Rex''': (''Cuts his journal in two'') Whoever I was back then, is not who I am now. Not anymore.
:'''Quarry''': Your choice.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex''': It's over, Quarry! You lose!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Sqywwd:''' I hope you don't expect us to thank you.
: '''Rex:''' No. Providence won't bother you unless you do something stupid.
: '''Cricket:''' We'll be fine. Thank you, Rex. 
:(''Kisses him on the check'')
: '''Tuck:''' Don't forget about us, Okay?
: '''Rex:''' That may be a promise I can't keep. (''Flies off on his Boogie Pack'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' It's going to happen again, isn't it? I'm going to blank out. How long do I have?
: '''Holiday:''' I don't know, Rex. It's likely triggered by a specific event; something traumatic.

===The Hunter===

===Gravity===

===What Lies Beneath===
: '''Circe:''' Rex, it's me.
: '''Rex:''' Circe? What do ''you'' want!?
: '''Circe:''' Things in Abysus- they're bad, Rex. I need your help.
: '''Rex:''' Oh, well, how do I put this nicely? Not a chance! You made your choice, Circe! I made mine. End of story.
: '''Circe:''' Please, Rex. I know you're mad at me, but this is a matter of life and death.
: '''Rex:''' A lot of things are right now. Nice talking to you.
: '''Circe:''' Rex!?
: (''Looks crestfallen'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I didn't know you were still in touch with Circe.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, me neither. Can we please stop talking about this?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Holiday:''' She's very pretty.
: '''Rex:''' She works for Van Kleiss. She's the enemy. 
: '''Holiday:''' But you still like her, don't you?
: '''Rex:''' I am ''not'' talking about this!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' Rex, thank you.
: '''Rex:''' I'm not doing this for you. But...your welcome. (''Circe similes hopefully'') So what exactly am I supposed to do?
:'''Holiday:''' When I said you were the key, I meant that literally. According to the plans, the machine needs to be turned on by a molecular level. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' You ''lied'' to me!!
: '''Circe:''' You wouldn't have come if I told you the truth.
: '''Rex:''' This wasn't about you needing ''me''!! This is about you needing Van Kleiss!!
: '''Circe:''' I need you both. Please, Rex, you don't understand.
: '''Rex:''' No!! ''You'' don't understand!! Van Kleiss is gone and I intend to keep it that way!!
: '''Biowulf:''' You destroyed us all!!
: '''Six:''' Don't even breathe.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Circe:''' You don't know what you've done.
: '''Rex:''' Then, I guess we're even.
: '''Circe:''' You've never understood his power. Van Kleiss kept us safe here. His force was the only thing keeping Abysus together, and you destroyed that.
: '''Rex:''' We're done here!!
: '''Holiday:''' Rex, I think she's right. Nanites operate on a molecular level. If they bonded with Van Kleiss, breaking off his connection must have caused a splinter; resulting in a disastrous chain reaction.
: '''Rex:''' I'm ''not'' bringing him back! ''Not now, not ever!!'' Besides, you don't need Van Kleiss! You have me!! Why not go straight to the source?!
:'''Holiday:''' Rex, no!
:'''Six:''' Stand down! It's too dangerous!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Let go of me!!
: '''Holiday:''' If you keep fighting these unstable nanites, they're going to destroy you!
: '''Rex:''' And if I don't they'll destroy everybody else.
: '''Holiday:''' Not if you listen to me! I have an idea. It's a long shot. Instead of fighting the nanites, ''communicate'' with them.
: '''Six:''' You want to talk to the nanites?
: '''Holiday:''' He's done it before.
: '''Rex:''' Never anything this big.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I got you! Don't let go!! (''Rex struggles to save Circe from falling as she clings to him; tears fill her eyes''). ''Circe!!'' (''as she falls into the black goop of highly unstable nanites'')
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' ''Circe!'' Six! Dr. Holiday! Okay, you win. (''technopathically starts the machine''). Something's...not right.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Circe! Come on, breathe!
: '''Circe''' (''coughs weakly'')''':''' Hey.
: '''Rex:''' Hey.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Stay with us, Circe. Van Kleiss is done.
: '''Circe:''' As much as I care about you, Rex, Van Kleiss and the Pack are my family. They took me in when no one else would. I can't abandon them.
: '''Rex:''' So that's it. We're always going to be on opposite sides.
: '''Circe:''' It does keep it interesting.

===The Swarm===
:'''Rex''' (thinking'')''':''' ''Gotta stay under. Not sure I can...make it.
:(''Has visions of those most dear to him: Noah, his crush Circe, Holiday, Six, Bobo)

===Basic===
===The Plague===
===Promises, Promises===
:''Note:'' This episode depicts how young Rex had joined Providence via Six's [[w:flashback episode|memories]].
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:''[Six narrates over imagery of the Nanite Event.]''
:'''Six:'''	The names and faces may change, but no matter how you slice it, war is war. You pick a side and you don’t look back. I believe that now and I believed it then. What gets you in trouble is when you start second guessing. Forget what you’re fighting for and you’re finished.
:'''Diane Farrah:''' ''[Panicked screaming is heard in the background of an EVO attack]'' There’s another entity has emerged, this time in the heart of Paris. Authorities are vastly unprepared. Unless a decisive response to this pandemic is marshalled, the city will fall just as Kiev— ''[Diane Farrah gets snatched by the EVO’s web]''
:''[A Providence assault vehicle rams through police cars, from which Six appears and deals with the EVO.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Save some for me partner! How else am I gonna earn my paycheck?
:''[Knight fires off a weapon and the scene cuts to present day at Providence Headquarters.]''
:'''Providence Agents:''' Surprise!
:'''Rex:'''	So, the flu shots?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I needed an excuse to get you here. We’ll do them after cake. I’ll get you Van Kleiss! ''[Holiday swings at a pinata blindfolded before Rex crushes it with his smack hands]''
:'''Rex:''' Sorry, Doc, it was taking too long. And it was either that or throw some of your cake at it.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Holiday walks over to Six at a corner, passing him a drink]'' You’re looking festive.
:'''Six:''' It was an odd choice to pick today to be his birthday.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It is the anniversary of his new life here. He deserves a celebration, he changed everything.
:'''Six:''' Has he?
:'''Rex:''' ''[Rex jumps onto a counter, speaking to the agents surrounding him]'' Ha-hah! How about hitting The Petting Zoo for a little pin-the-tail on the raging “Rhinocesaurus”?
:'''Dr. Holiday and Six:''' No.
:'''Rex:'''	Every party has a pooper. And I got two.
:'''Providence Agents:''' ''[Providence Agents turn off the lights and bring Rex a birthday cake]'' Happy Birthday!
:'''Rex:'''	Dudes!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You should be celebrating too, Six! After all, you’re the one who started this. In a way, it’s your birthday too.
:''[Flashback to Six and Knight walking through the Petting Zoo during construction of Providence HQ.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Nyquist. Fortier. How’s the monkey business?
:'''Nyquist:''' Ha ha-larious, Knight.
:'''Fortier:''' Hey, for your information we probably saved the world today.
:'''White Knight:''' I, for one, feel safer already. ''[Knight states, looking at Bobo while Six walks towards his cage]''
:'''Bobo:''' So, green man. We meet again!
:'''Calan:''' They found him at the Kremlin this time. He was threatening to push the button unless someone brought him a thousand pounds of caviar.
:'''Bobo:''' Chimp’s gotta eat.
:'''Fortier:''' What about your little bug hunt? Give you much trouble?
:'''White Knight:''' Nothing we couldn’t handle.
:''[The EVO is transported in a cage overhead while Knight and Six walk through a hallway.]''
:'''White Knight:''' What? Not even a smile? Oh by the way, happy birthday. ''[Knight passes Six a gift]''
:'''Six:''' How did you know?
:'''White Knight:''' I’m your partner. Can’t keep much from me.
:'''Six:''' Thanks.
:'''White Knight:''' So what crawled up your coat?
:'''Six:''' I’m getting tired of all this fighting. Did you see how many there are now? Are we gonna cage the whole world?
:'''White Knight:''' ''[Knight turns around, placing a hand on Six's shoulder]'' We’re preserving the human race. ''[The door to the processing facility opens]'' Besides, who says we’re gonna cage them all?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' ''[Looking at the EVO]'' And to think, this was once spinning webs in someone’s garden. Doctor Holiday, prepare for disassembly. ''[Doctor Holiday nods and activates the procedure as per his instructions. Doctor Fell sports a wicked smile during the experiment before it disintegrates the EVO without a trace]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It’s the same exact data as last time, and the time before that; Doctor Fell, why aren’t we studying them in a natural setting?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' Only through molecular dissection will we find a way to expunge this threat. The committee agrees with me on this. If you do not approve, I can always find another assistant.
:'''White Knight:''' ''[Doctor Holiday leaves the facility in frustration with Doctor Fell]'' Bleeding hearts. They’ll get us all killed one day.
:''[Holiday walks down a hallway and drops several notes, one of which Six picks up.]''
:'''Six:''' EVO?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Exponentially Variegated Organism; a little more scientific than spoiled meat. That is what you hired guns call them isn’t it?
:'''Six:''' It's Six, and I don't use guns. You told Fell we could learn more by bringing them in alive. What did you mean?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The nanites are altering our DNA, but with the right type of research, there's no doubt they could be programmed to stop or reverse the process. Imagine a third option to this, kill-or-Contain protocol.
:'''Six:''' A third option?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' A cure.
:'''White Knight:''' ''[Knight and several other Providence agents run past Holiday after an alarm activates]'' Buckle up partner! Looks like we got ourselves a big one.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hopeless.
:''[Providence mercenaries arrive at Mexico to confront the giant mechanical EVO.]''
:'''White Knight:''' What are we looking at?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' ''[Speaking through a monitor]'' Fascinating. It appears to be bio-mechanical. I must have a closer look at this one.
:'''White Knight:''' One for the trophy case.
:'''Six:''' Wait. We may get more out of this one if we bring it in alive!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Dr. Fell:''' You're letting your emotions cloud your judgement, Six. With what we gleam from this boy, I could create tools that could inoculate the world.
:'''Six:''' Why risk it? He can already cure them! I've seen it!
:'''White Knight:''' So, what, we train him? Make him one of us?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Knight:''' We're supposed to be friends! He's a monster! What do you see in him!?
:'''Six:''' Hope.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''White Knight:''' Thanks for talking some sense into him, Doc. ''[Knight picks up Six’s katana and walks toward Rex]''
:'''Rex:''' What...what’s happening to me? ''[Rex pleas to Knight, who simply looks down at him before warning sirens go off and the facility begins to lockdown]''
:'''Dr. Fell:''' We’re all going to burn. ''[Fell escapes while Rex is craned away by Holiday on an upper level]''
:'''White Knight:''' No! ''[Knight looks back at Six who is slowly picking himself up while the remaining exits close off. In a last ditch effort, Knight carries Six and throws him through the final set of doors before they seal shut]''
:'''Six:'''	''[Six picks himself and slams his fist against the glass]'' Why?
:'''White Knight:''' I know what side I’m on. ''[Knight proudly states before getting consumed by a blinding white light and screaming in agony]''
:'''Six:'''	''[Grabbing a hold of Dr. Fell's collar Six shouts]'' Do something!
:'''Dr. Fell:''' Once the cycle starts it's impossible to shut down.
:'''Rex:'''	''[Contrary to Dr. Fell's statement, the light fades away and the electricity is subdued after Rex interfaces with a control panel]'' Impossible? Psh, right.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' How did you—-?
:'''Rex:''' Told it to turn off. And it did! Wait, where...where am I?
:'''Dr. Fell:''' ''[Speaking through a monitor]'' Doctor Holiday. Maybe you were right.
:'''Dr. Holiday:'''	Maybe you should start looking for another job.
:'''Bobo:''' ''[Within the processing chamber, Knight takes a few steps forward before collapsing]'' Hey marshmallow! Nice look! ''[Knight looks back up at Bobo with his signature bleached appearance]''
:''[Some time later, in his office White Knight speaks to Six through a monitor.]''
:'''White Knight:''' How’s the training?
:'''Six:'''	Slow.
:'''White Knight:''' Not all you hoped he’d be? ''[Rex and Bobo topple each other in a play fight while Knight continues to monologue in his office]'' Still, who would’ve thought the kinder, gentler approach would do such wonders for our profile. The notion of a cure has gotten Providence funding, and worldwide prestige. The committee's happy. Your new partner may just be the best thing this operation could have asked for. Funny, isn’t it? Because of you I can never leave this chamber. I’m now the only pure human left in the world. And the perfect poster boy to run this operation. I suppose I should thank you.
:'''Six:''' I promised him that we would help uncover his past; find his family.
:'''White Knight:''' Whatever keeps him on his leash. But if he shows the slightest sign of turning into thing again, it's all on you.
:''[Back at the party in the present, Noah is pinned down by Bobo with a bag on his head to Rex’s amusement.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Hoo-hoo-hoo! Oh my—hold him down, I’ll get the camera! ''[Rex runs to his room, and after a quick search he instead finds a long box on a corner shelf]''
:'''Six:''' Happy birthday. ''[Six walks into his room, officially greeting Rex]''
:'''Rex:'''	From you? For me? You gotta be kidding.
:'''Six:''' You, your work. It has made a real difference. I just—-
:'''Rex:'''	Yeah, I know I’m pretty great! But seriously get off the sap train, Six. It’s creeping me out. ''[Rex opens the gift to reveal the blade inside]'' Wow, Six! Thank you!
:'''Six:'''	It’s called a tanto. It’s the ceremonial blade of a samurai warrior.
:'''Rex:'''	Samurai? Awesome.
:'''Six:'''	''[Six unsheathes his own tanto and holds it against Rex’s]'' This is its twin.
:'''Rex:'''	''[Rex removes the cap from his tanto and squints at the symbol etched into the blade]'' Is that...writing?
:'''Six:'''	Bushido symbol of loyalty. It means whether for good or ill, our fates will follow the same path. This one stays with me.
:'''Rex:'''	Think this thing can cut through Holiday’s chocolate cake?
:'''Six:'''	''[Six raises an eyebrow]'' Anything’s possible.
:''[Rex puts the cap back on to the blade and camera cuts to outside of Providence headquarters, panning outward until screen fades to black.]''

===Badlands===
:'''Gatlocke:''' Do you like rules?
:'''Rex:''' Can't say I do.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Gatlocke:''' Feel that? It's quilted. This is the good kind. But I won't be able to really enjoy in ''until I have those nanites!''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Out of the Dark===
:''Note'': Rex's love interest and sweetheart Circe appears in a vision.

===Payback===
:''[In the realm of Abysus]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Humiliated... De-powered... All but destroyed. Hardly the new world I set out to build, is it?
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, a spy has made contact.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Well?
:'''Providence Spy:''' Everything is in place.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' And the boy?
:'''Providence Spy:''' He's here.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' ''[to his loyal followers]'' Soon our greatest enemy will be buried! Providence itself will be destroyed. And we'll have Rex to thank.
:'''Rex:''' Come on! Who's gonna know?
:'''Noah:''' Yeah. It would only be for a minute or two.
:'''Calan:''' You actually want me to let you fly the keep?
:''[Calan sighs]''
:'''Calan:''' Only until the next course change. And nothing fancy.
:'''Rex:''' All right, let's see what this baby can really do! Why, it wasn't me! Seriously!
:'''Both:''' Whoa!
:'''Providence Spies:''' Aah!
:'''White Knight:''' Calan, what's your status?
:'''Calan:''' Came from out of nowhere. We're being boarded. Scramble all jump jets. Mobilize for a counter-offensive.
:'''White Knight:''' This is a coordinated attack. Every major Providence outpost around the globe has been hit.
:'''Six:''' So far they've steered clear of headquarters. I'm on route to the keep now.
:'''Rex:''' Are they really that stupid? Attacking the keep with me on board? This should only take a minute.
:'''Noah:''' Wait up!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Find Rex. It goes without saying &quot;alive&quot; would be ideal. Take the ship.
:'''Providence Spy:''' Some kind of power surge. We're losing control of the helm!
:'''Calan:''' Find out where it's coming from. Doc, if you'll excuse me--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six?
:'''Six:''' Five minutes out. Prepare for an evac. I'm getting you off the ship.
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Noah:''' Again with the Smack Hands? You always open with that move. Change it up a little!
:'''Both:''' Whoa!
:'''Bobo:''' You see what you get? That's what happens when you interrupt my nap-- Bobo gets cranky!
:'''Rex:''' I learned that the hard way, too.
:'''Calan:''' All hands-- We've got intruders on deck four, five, and six. Get'em off our ship!
:'''Rex:''' Go!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Attention, Providence. The ship is ours.
:'''Rex:''' Ugh! Not even close, Van Kleiss!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Lay down your weapons, and your lives will be spared. Continue to resist and nothing survives.
:'''Rex:''' You've made I made some lame-o moves before, Van Kleiss, but this one-- classic.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Seems you may have run out of tricks. Oh, you had to know it would only be a matter of time. I've had a fair amount of time on my hands these days. ''[Restrains Rex with his gauntlet]''
:'''Rex:''' Aaaaah!
:'''Van Kleiss:'''  You took something very precious from me, Rex, and now I'll be returning the favor.
:'''Rex:''' If you want my monkey, you can forget it. 
:''[Van Kleiss starts draining nanites from Rex, causing him to squirm and scream in pain.]''
:''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It might come as a surprise that when you stole the nanites that gave my power, you left some of your behind-- Enough to tell me a few of what makes you tick. :''[Rex tries to summon a build, but nothing happens.]''
:'''Rex:''' Ungh!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:''[Rex gasps]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' You'll find that using your powers will be something of a challenge. The nanites that you so special belong to me now.
:'''Biowulf:''' What shall I do with him, master?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I have everything I need from him. I could care less. Secure the rest of the ship.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Come on! Do you really think throwing me out that hatch is the best way to get rid of me? Wouldn't it be more fun to throw me in a cage, tie me down in front of a laser?
:'''Biowulf:''' No!
:'''Rex:''' Aaaaaaaah! Wh-o-o-o-o-oa!
:'''Noah:''' What is he doing?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' This is no time to fool around, Rex.
:'''Rex:''' Happened to notice that ground coming up on his, doc? If you don't do something fast, I'm about to become part of it! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Ugh!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, are you okay?
:'''Rex:''' I think we may have a problem.
:'''White Knight:''' What do you mean &quot;they have the keep&quot;?! Blow it up!
:'''Six:''' We tried. The remote-destruct sequence has been disabled. Van Kleiss has complete control of it.
:'''White Knight:''' Give me some good news.
:'''Six:''' We know where it's heading. Here.
:'''Biowulf:''' This is the commanding officer. We found him attempting to destroy this ship.
:'''Calan:''' What's your game, Van Kleiss?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, a very good question-- One that depends entirely on what happens next, Captain. It seems my powers have made a slight... change.
:'''Rex:''' Well? They're gone, aren't they? Van Kleiss took all my active nanites.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Not exactly. I found this. Definitely a nanite, but it's unlike anything I've ever seen. Molecular scans seems to indicate it's some kind of control-nanite.
:'''Rex:''' But with nothing to control.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' With a large enough concentration of nanites, we might be able to jump-start it. But even with that, there's no guarantee it would replicate or even give you back the same abilities.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I hate to say it, but this one has me stumped.
:'''Rex:''' Great. Loving this.
:'''White Knight:''' If you're finished with the lost cause, we've got a bigger problem.
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, how is this possible?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' It would seem Rex's nanites have an opposite effect on me. He cured EVOs. Now I create them. Full ahead-- Ramming speed! Once we're through, we'll destroy Providence from the inside out.
:'''White Knight:''' Lock it down! I want hallways cleared and critical sections defended. They will not take this base.
:'''Rex:''' Well? What are we waiting for? Let's go stop them!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, you're in no condition to fight.
:'''Rex:''' Well, what do you expect me to do-- Hide?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Whatever it takes. That nanite inside you might be able to bring you back, but it's going to take me time to figure out how. And that's not something we have a lot of right now.
:'''Rex:''' Wow. Nice outfit.
:'''Noah:''' Got one for you, too. You get to armor up like the rest of us normals.
:'''Rex:''' Come on.
:'''Bobo:''' All right, where to?
:'''Rex:''' South Pacific.
:'''Bobo:''' That's my boy. And here I thought you'd try to pull some hero stunt. Oh, brother.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I want the White Knight. Find where he's hiding and bring him to me.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That should be everything, as long as the offsite backup holds.
:'''Six:''' Don't let it get to that.
:'''Noah:''' This is a strange place for a base.
:'''Rex:''' When I have too many nanites in me, this is where I go to offload.
:'''Bobo:''' Think of it as a nanite porta-potty.
:'''Noah:''' Thanks... For that image, Bobo. So, we just put some of these nanites in you, and we're good to go?
:'''Rex:''' No. They're inactive. Or at least stripped of their programming. Since I can't control them, I just have to hope that whatever this thing is inside me can't.
:'''Noah:''' So... What happens if it can't?
:'''Bobo:''' Let me put it this way-- The last guy who went swimmin' in that soup ended up a 50-foot freak show.
:'''White Knight:''' Listen to me carrefully, Van Kleiss.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I'd rather not.
:'''White Knight:''' Where are they?
:'''Six:''' The inner perimeter has been compromised. They're coming.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Ugh! Ungh!
:''[Skalamander roars]''
:''[Skalamander roars]''
:'''Biowulf:''' Open it.
:'''Rex:''' Okay. Bobo, set the thing to &quot;vent&quot; and go. If this doesn't work, I don't want you getting caught in the blast.
:'''Bobo:''' No.
:'''Noah:''' Forget it. Rex, at least think about his for a sec. What if it wipes your memory? What it turns you into some evil monster?
:'''Rex:''' My friends need me. There's nothing more to think about. Bobo, do it.
:'''Bobo:''' Long odds, pay big.
:''[Bobo groans]''
:'''Six:''' You've overstayed your welcome.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, here's someone who would make a nice addition to our EVO ranks.
:'''Six:''' Go ahead and try. Ugh!
:''[Six groans]''
:'''Rex:''' Trying to do my job for me, Six? Here's a thought-- When your top henchman can't even get rid of someone by throwing him out of a moving plane, time to rethink the help.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' You are determined-- I'll give you that. If it's what you prefer, I'll finish you myself.
:'''Rex:''' Maybe.
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa! Cool!
:'''Bobo:''' See? I told you it would work.
:'''Six:''' This is an unexpected surprise.
:'''Rex:''' Well, by now, you should expect the unexpected from me, Six.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ungh!
:''[Skalamander roars]''
:''[Dr. Holiday grunts]''
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Noah:''' Is that what I think it is?
:'''Bobo:''' Not anymore.
:'''Noah:''' You think there might be more of them?
:'''Bobo:''' Eh... Probably.
:''[Biowulf grunts]''
:''[Biowulf growls]''
:'''Biowulf:''' Aaaaaaah!
:'''White Knight:''' I use that electromagnet to trap stray nanites. You're lucky it's on the lowest setting. Any higher, and it would rip the nanites right out of your body.
:''[Biowulf grunts]''
:'''Biowulf:''' Then why don't you?
:'''White Knight:''' Because then I wouldn't be able to do this.
:'''Skalamander:''' No one can help you. You're all alone now.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Not exactly. We still have my sister.
:''[Skalamander grunting]''
:''[Rex and Van Kleiss grunts]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Aaaaah!
:'''Rex:''' No way!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ungh!
:'''Rex:''' Once again, epic fail. I'll take my nanites back now.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh!
:'''Noah:''' Rex, wait!
:'''Bobo:''' Van Kleiss left behind a few presents.
:'''Rex:''' No time to look everywhere. I'm shutting everything down.
:'''Noah:''' You can do that?
:'''Rex:''' Don't know. Never tried. Anything else? No?
:'''Calan:''' Whew! I never want to do that again. No, sir.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Amazing.
:'''Rex:''' Why, thank you.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I was talking about the nanites. That was a risky move, Rex, but it worked. As far as I can tell, you're back to your old self.
:'''Rex:''' I don't know. Something feels different. That new build-- I think I can do even more. It's like I can see the blueprints. I just need to figure out how to put it all together.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' White Knight in person. Never thought I'd see the day.
:'''White Knight:''' Well, don't get used to it. We found all the explosives. The base and the keep will need extensive repairs. This was not our finest hour.
:'''Rex:''' What are you talking about? We kicked butt! So what if Van Kleiss is back and more powerful than ever? So am I! If he wants a nanite war, let him bring it!
:''[White Knight laughs]''
:'''White Knight:''' It's good to have your back, Rex.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You know, I think he actually means it.
:'''Rex:''' Sure he does. So, tell me something, guys-- What's next?

==Season Two (2011)==
===Rampage===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' I'll give you the recap. Thanks to these microscopic machines called nanites, I can build cool gear out of my body. I'm what's called an EVO. But most evo's aren't lucky like me. They usually look like this. ''[laughing]'' I know what you're thinking. And they smell bad, too. There's one other thing I can do that makes me even more special. Some EVOs, I can cure. That's why I work for Providence. We're the people you call when an evo is tearing up your lawn or attacking a city. And the worst of them is this guy... Van Kleiss. The last time we fought, things got a little out of hand. I'll admit it... we pretty much got our tails handed to us. He steals the key, wrecks headquarters, hijacks my nanite to get back the powers I took away from him. And now he can actually make people into EVOs. Then, to top it off, he has his dog boy Biowulf throw me, overboard at 6,000 feet. Not that anyone's keeping score. Sure, Van Kleiss may be back, but so am I. So what if he can make EVOs? I can still cure them. He may have new powers, but guess what... I do, too. Ever since my powers came back, I've got the ability to make amazing new machines. Now I just have to figure out how to build more.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' If you're trying to check up on me, Six, the answer's still a big fat... ''[imitates buzzer]'' I can't figure out how to make this new build.
:'''Six:''' It might take some time, but you'll get it.
:'''Rex:''' And meanwhile, Van Kleiss is out there doing who knows what. I wish they'd hurry up and get the H.Q. Rebuilt. You're not still living out of your jump jet like some ninja hobo, are you?
:'''Six:''' My temporary accommodations are perfectly adequate.
:'''Rex:''' Yep. Still living in the jet. ''[Groans]'' I hate being kicked out of our house. Although, as long as they're building stuff, I need a hot tub.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;I was wondering when you and your hair would show up again, Van Kleiss.&quot;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Back to your old self again, I see. And how are those new abilities developing?&quot;
:'''Rex:''' Just fine. Thanks for asking.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Don't you have anything better to do with your life then come after me all the time?&quot;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' &quot;Funny you should ask.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Doc? How are those biometrics looking now?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Give it a try.
:'''Rex:''' Ah, yeah! It's about time! Machines work. I just hope the important part does.
:'''Noah:''' What just happened?
:'''Rex:''' Do you remember anything?
:'''Noah:''' It all kind of hazy. I mostly remember the feeling of... Fun. And I remember you punching me in the face.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah. Sorry about that. I thought you were trying to eat me. Come on. We've got a rat to catch. Why so happy? Is this the part where breach shows up and rescues you?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Actually, no. This is the part where she takes your inadequately guarded fuel core.
:'''Six:''' Six to post, what's your status? Six to post.
:'''Rex:''' Another decoy?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I should share some of the credit with your friend over here. He played the part to perfection.
:'''Noah:''' Gee, thanks.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, this would be the part where Breach shows up.
:'''Noah:''' I can't believe I did all this. Sounds like I had the time of my life.
:'''Rex:''' ''[laughing]'' It almost became your life. Sorry about that.
:'''Noah:''' Are you kidding? Just knowing I was a rampaging evo is cool. I wish I could have remembered at least some of it.
:'''Rex:''' It's probably all over the news if you want a replay... At least until you stepped on the news van.
:'''Noah:''' Well... ''[Exhales sharply]'' Guess it's back to quadratic equations.
:'''Rex:''' I have no idea what those are. I've got somewhere I need to be. See you later. I know. I'm not supposed to be here. I don't care if it's a construction zone. I'm moving back.
:'''Six:''' It's all right. Turns out you're not the only one who feels that way. You'll get used to the cold showers. Food, you're on your own. From the top?
:'''Rex:''' From the top.
:'''Six:''' What were you trying to build, anyway?
:'''Rex:''' A water jet. Oh, by the way, I need a new cellphone.
:'''Six:''' Yes?
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' It's after my glasses again.
:'''Six:''' Glasses?
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' This time I am serious. Now, when are you going to send someone out here?
:'''Six:''' Ma'am, I'm...
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' Do you even work for Providence?
:'''Six:''' Yes, I work for Providence.
:'''Determined grandmother:''' ''[through phone]'' What kind of a flimflam outfit is this?
:'''Six:''' How did you get this number?

===Wasteland===
===Tough Love===

===The Lost Weekend===
:'''Kenwyn:''' What did you to Skwydd?
:'''Mouse:''' Just shedding a light light on how dangerous his kind can be.
:'''Rex:''' By juicing his powers? What were you thinking?
:'''Mouse:''' Most inorganic material explodes when given that kind of molecular jolt, but not not nanites. They convert the energy into power that amplifies an E.V.O.'s abilities to tremendously uncontrollable levels.

===Star-Crossed===

===Alliance===
:'''Rex:''' ''[to himself]'' And he brought his Pack flunkies. Biowulf, Skalamander, Breach. Circe? Gotta hurry. Their headed straight for... someplace else. Gonna find out where.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Holiday:''' Rex why aren't you fixing that shield regulator?
:'''Rex:''' Hint. You may remember him from such schemes as destroying Providence headquarters, and trying to take over the entire Earth.
:'''Holiday:''' Van Kliess, in there? You're right. You should investigate after you fix the shield.
:'''Rex:''' Then it might be too late.
:'''Holiday:''' She's there, isn't she?
:'''Rex:''' Who? Breach? Yeah, but...
:'''Holiday:''' A quick recon and that's it.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Intriguing. An entire urban branch of EVO. development.
:'''Biowulf:''' This place is a waste of our time.
:'''Circe:''' Van Kleiss knows what he's doing. It's not your place to question.
:'''Biowulf:''' Question?! You dare accuse me of disloyalty?!
:'''Circe:''' Sorry. Get a grip!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' You're right, you know. We should be down there with him. What is he up to anyway?
:'''Biowulf:''' I do not know.
:'''Circe:''' You don't know? I thought he trusted you with everything.
:'''Biowulf:''' Of course he does! He just--
:'''Rex:''' Hey! Easy on the stealth suit, which apparently, isn't so stealthy.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''NoFace:''' Invaders have come before. They brought only pain.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' It is a pain we both share. The same Providence outsides attacked my lands, destroyed my army.
:'''NoFace:''' There was one who tormented us, humiliated us. The grower of machines.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Ah, Rex. Another thorn we share. My proposal is simple: You control a formidable legion. I, in turn, can provide the escape and the vengeance you seek. I can be your liberator. You can be my general. Together we will crush our enemies, starting with the one you hate most. Now are we--
:'''Biowulf:''' Master, I have a report.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' ''[irritated]'' This is a private conversation. Can't you handle the sightest detail without bothering me?
:'''Biowulf:''' Of course, Master. It was nothing.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Here comes the moment when our brave hero sweeps the girl of her feet! Literally!
:'''Biowulf:''' Don't let him.
:'''Circe:''' Hey! Let--
:'''Rex:''' ''[flies off with Circe in his arms]''' See you around, henchie!
:'''Biowulf:''' ''[to Skalamander]''  Follow them.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' Down, now!
:'''Rex:''' Not till we hear each other out!
:'''Circe:''' Sure! I'll go first. 
:''[Breaks the Bogie Pack with a hypersonic burst, causing them to fall]''
:'''Rex:''' Oh, great. Way to go, Circe.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' ''[to himself]'' Our hero pursues the girl of his dreams, heedless of her attempts to break his heart... along with the rest of him. Circe, just one minute, okay? Look-No powers!
:'''Circe:''' One minute! But if this is about leaving the Pack--
:'''Rex:''' Please. I'm way past that. There are bigger things going here than who you hang out with.
:'''Circe:''' Fifty seconds!
:'''Rex:''' I wasn't sent here to spy on you. I'm here to stop these things from ever getting out.
:'''Circe:''' Forty! Why are you telling me this? You know who I am!
:'''Rex:''' You've seen the things that live here. Whatever deal you think Van Kleiss is making, it's going to turn out bad for everyone.
:'''Circe:''' Thirty seconds!
:'''Rex:''' I do know who you are, Circe. Just for once think for yourself. Maybe your perfect leader could actually be wrong, maybe even a bit crazy, nuts, certifiably insane!
: '''Circe:''' Shut up! Twenty! Talk about blinded. Did you ever wonder why Van Kleiss is so interested in you?
:'''Rex:''' Oh, I don't know. Maybe he wants me dead?
:'''Circe:''' Not anymore. Something has changed, Rex. Ever since you got your powers back, I hear him talking. Saying you have something that's the key to everything. For whatever reason, he needs you alive. I know it, Rex. He'd never let you be killed.
:'''Rex:''' Never, huh?
:'''Circe:''' Time's up! 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' Now this looks like a party.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Rex, you never cease to amaze me.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''No-Face:''' Defiler! Give him to us!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now do you believe I can deliver what I say? Will yoh agree to my leadership?
:'''No-Face:''' We agree to it! Give him to us! Now! Now! Now!
:'''Circe:''' ''[very shocked]''' Van Kleiss, I didn't bring Rex here so that you could-- He'll kill him!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Never forget how I found you, Circe. What you were... before. He's yours. 
:''[Tears well up in Circe's eyes; thoroughly horrified that her master would calmly allow Rex's life to be put at risk]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' ''[weakly]''' Is this what you wanted? 
:''[Collapses from his inquiries, causing Circe to open her eyes]''
:'''Circe''' ''[tearful, pleading]'': Stop this! Please! You need him alive!
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Alive, yes. Heart pumping, lungs breathing, but his mind? The less there's left of that, the better. Circe, I warn you: Lift so much as a finger to help him, and you're finished!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' You, Biowulf, even me. We're all just means to an end for him. He doesn't really care for any of us.
:'''Rex:''' So you finally figured that out. Better late than never, I guess.
:'''Circe:''' It's not too late! Not if I have anything to say about it!
:''[Extends her fleshly and grotesque EVOs mouth]''
:'''Bobo:''' Whoa! Whoa! There are some of us who might not like the sound of whatever you're about to do!
:'''Circe:''' I'll adjust the frequency to exclude friendly EVOs.
:'''Bobo:''' Does that include me?
:'''Circe:''' For now. 
:''[Uses her melodious, hypnotic singing to call back the EVOs escaping]''
:'''Rex:''' I thought you said you could filter it.
:'''Circe:''' It's not an exact science. 
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Circe:''' Van Kleiss.
:'''Rex:''' Breach'll get him out... eventually. But right now he's in there, you're out here. You don't have a better opportunity to consider your options.
:''[Notice the two of them holding hands and let go, blushing]''
:'''Bobo:''' What is it stealing from our own people that's so dang satisfying?
:'''Circe:''' You forget to remove the tracker. I'm not going to Providence.
:'''Rex:''' Doesn't matter where you go. All that matters is that you want to go there. That said. I hear Hong Kong's nice this time of year.

===Robo Bobo===
===Divide By Six===
:'''One''': ''[Speaking through Rex]'' Six.
:'''Six''': One?
:'''One''': You left this place, quit life as a mercenary and so rarely returned to visit.
:'''Six''': I did what I felt was right, I never meant to dishonor.
:'''One''': So rarely, that I never had time to tell you how proud you've made me.
:'''Six''': ''[Takes off his glasses for the first time in the series]'' We're going to help you. We're going to take you home.
:'''One''': But Six, I  am home. ''[Rex falls unconscious while One's body starts changing. Eventually his body dissolves and fertilizes the entire island to its former splendor]''
: '''Six:''' He's still One. He's just one with everything.
===Mixed Signals===
: '''Rex:''' Whoa, big guy! Someone needs to ease off on the cheeseburgers.
: '''Six:''' Skip the insults. Start the containment.
: '''Rex:''' Like its feelings are going to get hurt. One bad and ugly going down. What?
: '''Six:''' Rex? Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Cool!
: '''Six:''' You want to explain this?
: '''Rex:''' I don't know. It's like some weird vision of this thing filled my head, then built itself out of me. Maybe the vision came from Blobbo. Maybe it's trying to talk to me. Come on, big boy. Send me some more pictures. What's on your mind?
: '''Six:''' Groceries. That's what's on its mind.
: '''Rex:''' I'm skipping. I'm over it. That vision must have been a fluke.
: '''Six:''' All right, then. We're going with a two-prong attack. Use caution. This kind of EVO might be a splitter. Rex! Snap out of it!
: '''Rex:''' Whoa! Whoa! Ha! I wasn't supposed to do that, right?
: '''Six:''' Rex, I want you back at HQ.
: '''Rex:''' But I feel okay now. And we've got, um-- Two blobs to put down.
: '''Six:''' Now!
: '''Holiday:''' No trace of any recent electrochemical or DNA abnormalities. Everything reads normal.
: '''Rex:''' But it's like the visions were being transmitted, and I was seeing it from a nanite point of view.
: '''Holiday:''' I can't track it, Rex. There's no sign of signal displacement or a nano disturbance. Maybe we should consider the possibility that this is psychological.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Pizza.
: '''Holiday:''' I think he's having another vision.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Of lunch?
: '''Rex:''' With pineapple and salmon.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Blech! He is nuts.
: '''Holiday:''' Aside from a strange choice in pizza toppings, all readings are normal. I can't explain it.
: '''Rex:''' Well, if my nanites are trying to get me to build something, maybe we should give them what they want.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Whatever it is, I'm not eating it. Is that my electric toothbrush?
: '''Rex:''' It better not be the one I've been using.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Oh.
: '''Rex:''' This is what I'm seeing in my head. As stupid as it looks. It's like someone or something is sending me instructions to build some big device.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Or build a pizza with pineapple and salmon.
: '''Rex:''' Okay. I'm not sure about that vision.
: '''Holiday:''' Is that my hairdryer?
: '''Rex:''' I just need to figure out what it does. Maybe it's a time machine. Or-- Or alien technology!
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Maybe it's just a big pile of junk. Or a way to order a really awful pizza.
: '''Contraption Voice:''' Target acquired.
: '''Holiday:''' Rex!
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Wake up!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Provindece Soldier #1:''' Hey, where do you think you're going? We've got a security breach. Front floor.
: '''Providence Soldier #2:''' Lockdown protocols enabled. All hands report to duty station. Security speed, take position.
: '''Rex:''' Sorry, guys. I might be a little... late.
: '''Caesar:''' Case compression. Release.
: '''Rex:''' Figures I'd build a machine with a serious attitude problem.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[taking off his helmet and turns to Rex]'' Rex, is that you?
: '''Rex:''' Who’s asking?
: '''Caesar:''' It’s me, Caesar, your brother! Mijo! ''[Hugs Rex]'' You're alive and... older. ''[Rex is dumbfounded]'' Uh. Atomic clock was right... ''[spanish accent]'' Es una problema grande.
: '''Rex:''' Uh, yeah. ''[Pushes Caesar]'' It is a big problem.
: '''Caesar:''' What is this place? Who are you people? ''[to Rex]'' I'm getting you out of here!
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Sorry, amigo. Put your hands up. Or don't. I got a clear shot either way.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[is looking at Bobo]'' A talking chimp?
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Don't bother. I've heard all the jokes.
: '''Caesar:''' Have they hurt you? Are you okay? Stand aside.
: '''Rex:''' Hello? Do I get a say in this?
: '''Holiday:''' If you're part of some elaborate plan to kidnap Rex, then you failed.
: '''Caesar:''' Listen, bonita, you don't wanna make me use this.
: '''Rex:''' ''[gets in between them]'' Enough! Normally around here when someone barges in talking crazy, they get around into the deck plates by my giant fists. But you seem legit. I'm going with him.
: '''Holiday:''' Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Okay, brother. Lead the way. So if you are my brother, where have you been all this time?
: '''Caesar:''' I'll explain later when we're safe.
: '''Rex:''' Uh, this is Providence. We are safe. Usually.
: '''Caesar:''' Providence? Never heard of it. To be honest, the last five years has been a bit of a blur.
: '''Rex:''' I want to believe you, but I'm gonna need some proof.
: '''Caesar:''' Your name is Rex Salazar. Our parents are Violetta and Raphael. The last time I saw you was at the Applied Nanite Research Lab in Abysus; right before those fools triggered a replication cycle.
: '''Rex:''' And I have total amnesia so, for all I know, that could be completely bogus.
: '''Caesar:''' There's a scar on the back of your left knee you got when you were seven, riding the gantry arm in the reactor annex.
: '''Rex:''' Hmm. I always wondered how I got that.
:''[they go out and Rex notices Caesar Salazar's pod laboratory]''
: '''Rex:''' Whoa. Nice wheels.
: '''Six:''' ''[Comes out and unsheathed his swords]'' Don't even think about it.
: ''[Caesar is about to attack but Rex stops him]''
: '''Rex:''' It's okay. Six isn't going to hurt you. Right, Six? You're comming in a little late on this, but, uh, this is Caesar, my brother, and he wants to get me out of here. So, let's just let my brother have his way and see where this all goes. Wherever you plan on going, they're going to follow us. You know that, right?
: '''Caesar:''' They can try.
: '''Rex:''' I don't know. Providence ship are pretty fast.
: '''Six:''' Track Rex's bio signature and find out who that guy really is.
: '''Rex:''' You ain't kidding. This thing moves fast. A-are we in the arctic?
: '''Caesar:''' How do you think I got to your location so quickly once the locator signaled me?
: '''Rex:''' Locator? You sent me the schematics to build that thing? It tried to crush me like a bug!
: '''Caesar:''' Sorry, mijo. I wasn't really trying to hurt. ''[scans Rex's body]'' I was looking for what's hiding inside of you. ''[showing Rex the result]'' The Omega One Nanite.
: '''Rex:''' That thing? Holiday discovered it before. We had no idea what it was.
: '''Caesar:''' I sent signal instructions for the Omega One to track and contain. But since the nanite has integrated into your DNA, you became the conduit for building the machine. What I don't get is how the Omega One got inside of you. Rylander was supposed to have that under lock and key.
: '''Rex:''' Rylander? He's the one who put it inside me.
: '''Caesar:''' Why would he do a thing like that? I'm really gonna have to let old fool have it when I see him.
: '''Rex:''' Not possible-- Courtesy of Van Kleiss.
: '''Caesar:''' Van Kleiss?! What does that third-rate lab hack have to do with this?
: '''Rex:''' What? I guess I’m not the only one who needs an update. Where have you been?
: '''Caesar:''' It's a long story-- actually, short by my clock. A splinter group had formed at the lab. They had other ideas about how the nanites would be used. We tried to stop them, and you were hurt. The only way to save your life was an infusion of nanites. It was risky, but it worked. We thought that'd be enough to stop the others, make them see the right path. But we were wrong. Mom and Dad were in the reactor. As for me, I managed to escape in my lab. But the shock wave, the same shock wave that probably blanked your memory.... also interfered with engine that powers this pod. I was stuck in sub-light drive.
: '''Rex:''' How long?
: '''Caesar:''' Fifteen minutes. That's how long it took me to reboot the system. But at the speed I was going, it was 5 years of your time. I knew there was an accident, but I had no idea how bad. My nanite sensors were off the charts. My 1st priority was to insure the OM-1 was safe. That was our promise. And here we are. So, what have I missed these past five years?
: '''Rex:''' Providence? We need to talk. They can wait.
: '''Caesar:''' So let me understand, there are EVOs and Van Kleiss claimed as their leader?
: '''Rex:''' Well, not for all of them, yet. I want to know about me, about our parents.
: '''Caesar:''' They were scientists. We lived all over the world. Things settled down when you came along. That was in Geneva.
: '''Rex:''' Wait a second. Are you saying I'm Swiss?
: ''Caesar:'' Not really. Mother was born in Mexico City. Father in Buenos Aires.
: '''Rex:''' And they're really... gone? ''[Caesar slowly nods sadly]''
: '''Rex:''' Um, where exactly did this ship take us?
: '''Caesar:''' What do you know?We're back at the original lab site.
: '''Rex:''' You mean the one in Abysus?
: '''Caesar:''' Is that a problem?
: '''Rex:''' I'd say just a small one. We should go, like now.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[typing]'' Hmm... Must be low on charge.  ''[walks out the door]'' We may be stuck, but on the bright side, I can take a look at some of these variegated organisms. ''[goes out]''
: '''Rex:''' Caesar! Wait!
: ''[outside and observing the EVOs]''
: '''Caesar:''' Fascinating. We theorized mutations might occur but never anything this random.
: ''[Rex hits the EVO before they got near Caesar]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Sorry, bro, but these guys--
: ''[Rex hits another EVO]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Usually don't sit still for questions.
: '''Caesar:''' ''[seeing Rex's new build]'' Hmm... That's new.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Guess I've learned a--
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' A few tricks. But they still won't be enough if Van Kleiss shows up with all his goons. Six!
: '''Six:'''We're locked onto you. The keep is already on its way.
: '''Rex:''' Your ship may be out of juice, but I'm not. Hop on. I can get us out of here.
: '''Caesar:''' I won't leave my lab, and you definitely don't want Van Kleiss getting his hands on some of the things in here. I'll try to reroute the capacitors to an alternate power source.
: '''Caesar:''' Oh, you wanna see a photo of you, me, and papi? Maybe later.
: '''Rex:''' You're a little off, aren't you, Caesar? 
: '''Biowulf:''' What was that machine it flew off with?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' A laboratory. One I thought I'd never see again. It seems an old friend has returned-Caesar.
: '''Rex:''' Providence isn't so bad now, eh, hermano?
: '''Caesar:''' Is this a Grinnell? They always made good consoles, except for the random power surges.
: '''Six:''' Well?
: '''Rex:''' Everything's cool. He's a little kooky, but I'm pretty sure he's my brother.
: '''Six:''' Glad to hear it. Now I need you back. We still have some unfinished business.
: '''Rex:''' Got to get back to work.
: '''Caesar:''' My little brother, the hero. I remember when you just wanted to be a musician.
: '''Rex:''' Guitar? No, wait drums.
: '''Caesar:''' Accordion.
: '''Rex:''' You got to be kidding me!
: '''Six:''' As I recall, you started it.
: '''Rex:''' Huh?
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Six:''' The EVO is dividing faster than we can contain it. The city is being evacuated.
: '''Caesar:''' Hmm. Excuse me, admiral. I need you to take me down there immediately. Afraid I'll have to insist.
: '''Six:''' Rex!
: '''Rex:''' Are you crazy?!
: '''Caesar:''' Depends on who you ask. I had something in my lab that I thought could help.
: '''Six:''' Help? You're not even supposed to be outside the keep.
: '''Rex:''' WHOO-HOO! Way to go, bro! First day on the job, and you already got a save!
: '''Six:''' Job?
: '''Rex:''' Oh, come on, admit it, Six. He just saved our chicharrones.
: ''[Caesar laughs]''
: '''Rex:''' What? What's so funny?
: '''Caesar:''' You always make me laugh when you try to speak Spanish.
: '''Holiday:''' We've pulled his records, and I've confirmes his DNA. It seems Rex really does have a brother.
: '''White Knight:''' If everything I've read about him is true, he could be an incredible asset to Providence.
: '''Six:''' Or a major liability.
: '''White Knight:''' All the more reason to keep him with us. Give him whatever he needs.
: '''Holiday:''' White's right, Six. He knows more about nanites than anyone on the planet. He helped invent them.
: '''Six:''' My point exactly. He's settling in?
: '''Rex:''' I guess so. Caesar's a little strange. Hard to believe he's actually my brother.
: '''Six:''' I'm happy for you, Rex. You always said you wanted to find your family.
: '''Rex:''' Thanks, but... You know that? I already did. Caesar may be my brother, but you, Holiday, Bobo, you're who I have a connection with.
: '''Bobo:''' Aww, now, see, I'm getting all misty.
: '''Caesar:''' There you are. Hmm. Nice view. Say, mijo, you think your cafeteria could whip up a pizza with pineapple and salmon? I've been craving one for days.
: '''Bobo:''' Connection, huh?

===Outpost===
:'''Valentina:''' Ugh! We were returning them to their natural habitat! What Providence does is wrong and against the natural order of things! You're a traitor to your own kind.
:'''Rex:''' That's creature's job is to ''exterminate'' mankind! It wanted to kill you!

===Haunted===
===Moonlighting===
===Without a Paddle===

===Written in Sand===
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, I need an uptade.
:'''Rex''': I'm right at the edge. Anything still alive in there is trying to get away from the sandstorm.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': It's not the storm they're running from. The nanites inside them are forcing the animals away. It's creating a kind of nanite-free zone.
:'''Rex''': Ha! We should call White Knight. Maybe he'll move here and leave us all alone.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': It's no laughing matter, Rex. It could be the most significant development since the original nanite event.
:'''Rex''': Yeah, yeah. Possible cures save the world-- Got it. I'll check it out.
:'''Bobo''': Hey, doc. You may wanna get a load of this over here.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Negative. The storm is moving in too fast. Just place a sensor and pack it in.
:'''Rex''': Hey. No. It couldn't be. Rex to base. We got trouble of the egomaniacal EVO kind.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Van Kleiss is here? Why am I not surprised?
:'''Rex''': I think the real question is, if everything else is in such a race to get out, why is he going on? 
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, wait.
:'''Rex''': Don't worry, doc. It's me. What could possibly happen?
:'''Skalamander''': RARGH! PTUH! They're nothing but dirt.
:'''Biowulf''': My senses-- Useless in all this sand.
:'''Van Kleiss''': This phenomenon deserves my personal attention. What we seek is nearby. I can feel it pushing against me.
:'''Rex''': ''[Rex emerges from the sand storm]'' Yeah?
:''[Skalamander grunts]''
:'''Rex''': ''[Rex kicks Skalamander]'' How about kicking against you, too?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Rex! You're not welcome here.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': Now, that hurt my feelings!
:''[Rex groaning]''
:''[Skalamander pins him to the sand, causing him to groan in pain]''
:''[Skalamander laughs]''
:'''Rex''': Aaah! Whoa!
:'''Van Kleiss''': If I never see your face again, It will be too soon!
:'''Rex''': Yeah? The feeling's-- Whoa! Mutual!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex? Rex, do you read me?
:''[Bobo coughing]''
:'''Bobo''': Okay, we gotta get outta here. I got sand in places I didn't even know I had places.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, if you can hear me, we're retreating to the safe zone. Rendezvous with us there.
:'''Rex''': AAAAH! WHOA-OHHHHHHH!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex coughs]''
:'''Rex''': Okay, Kleiss-- Go time! No EVO allies, just you and-- Whoa! Uh, sorry, buddy. Didn't mean to bring you along for the ride.
:'''Van Kleiss''': I don't need my EVO allies, when I can simply make more.
:'''Rex''': Don't get me wrong-- I love punching stuff. But anything you can do, I can undo better! We can do this all day. Or you can just spill it.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': Why are you causing this nanite-free zone?
:'''Van Kleiss''': How convenient it must be to make me the root of all evil. I'm not causing it. I've come to discover the source and destroy it.
:'''Rex''': This could be the cure to nanites.
:'''Van Kleiss''': And I live off nanites. What Providence calls a cure, I call death.
:'''Rex''': Really? Haven't we moved past this?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Huh?
:''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
:''[After Van Kleiss creates a scorpion EVO to attack Rex, it attacks him instead.]''
:'''Rex''': That is the funniest thing I have ever seen! Hang on-- I got to get this on video. ''[Takes out cell phone and starts recording Van Kleiss dodging the scorpion EVO.]''
:''[Van Kleiss panting]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Something's wrong. I should be controlling this creature.
:'''Rex''': Stinks to be you. Huh? You ruined my shot!
:'''Van Kleiss''': I believe we've found something more interesting.
:'''Rex''': You like to point out the obvious, don't you?
:'''Bobo''': Don't get me wrong-- I love the kid, but if we don't pull stakes now, we'll be combing dust outta all sorts of places for years.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Too late. Hold on to everything that's not tied down. This is going to be a bumpy... ride.
:'''Six''': Holiday? I trust you're all right?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': I'm fine, Six. But Rex is still out there-- With Van Kleiss. I can't reach him.
:'''Six''': We'll prep a rescue party. Prepare to come aboard.
:'''Rex''': Hey!
:'''Van Kleiss''': This is not simply a nanite-free zone. Something is stealing the nanites from our bodies. If we linger here too long, we may both find ourselves defenseless against the other.
:'''Rex''': Well, then, we'd better blow this joint. And when I say &quot;we&quot; I mean &quot;me&quot;.
:''[Rex tries to escape and fails]''
:'''Rex''': AAAAAAAAH!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': If either of us is to escape this place, we will have to work together.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': What exactly are you suggesting?
:'''Van Kleiss''': A temporary truce.
:'''Rex''': An extremely temporary truce.
:'''Van Kleiss''': We'll work our way to the center of the nanite storm.
:'''Rex''': No, we work our way out of the nanite storm and get Providence in here to figure out what's happening.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Providence? They can't be trusted.
:'''Rex''': Them? Didn't you try to take over New York? And Europe? And the world?
:'''Van Kleiss''': You need to listen to me, Rex. Without a powers, you're nothing but a child.
:'''Rex''': Oh, yeah? Truce over! Okay. This is awkward. Hey, is it just me, or are you getting really dust?
:'''Van Kleiss''': It's happening faster than I thought.
:'''Rex''': What's happening faster? If you know something, you'd better spit it out, or-- Whoa! It all looks fossilized. Like it's made completely out of... sand.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Not only are there no nanites here, this is pure silicone. There are no other elements-- No carbon, calcium, hydrogen. It appears that this zone not only destroys nanites, but is--
:'''Rex''': Squeezing the life from the Earth. This isn't sand. This is me!
:''[Rex whimpering]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': These glyphs-- There's something familiar about them. Sumatran? Mesopotamian?
:'''Rex''': Less geeking, more escaping!
:'''Van Kleiss''': We need to find the epicenter of this maze. These glyphs may hold the answer.
:'''Rex''': Only if one says &quot;exit sign.&quot;
:'''Van Kleiss''': No need to panic, Rex. We have at least twenty minutes before fossilization-- Give or take.
:'''Rex''': &quot;Don't panic&quot;-- Says the guy who used to be dirt.
:''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
:'''Rex''': We're turning into walking litter boxes, and you're checking out caveman graffiti? No wonder I'm always kicking your butt.
:'''Van Kleiss''': You don't have an investigative bone in your body, do you? So strongheaded-- Just like your mother. ''[Rex is silent]'' No, you don't like that, do you-- That I know more about you than you do?
:'''Rex''': Skip the head games. Isn't exactly a good time.
:'''Van Kleiss''': No, but perhaps it is time for some truth. We may perish down here, Rex. Ask me anything you want about the past, and I'll answer it.
:'''Rex''': ''[looks at his own slowly fossilizing body]'' Sell it somewhere else. I'm not buying.
:''[walks away]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Oh, so the great and powerful Providence has finally come through on their promise to help you remember your past.
:'''Rex''': Something better-- Someone who was actually there at the Nanite Event.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Aha. Your brother, Caesar.
:''[Van Kleiss chuckles evilly]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': I've been following you both very closely since his... miraculous reappearance. Even if you don't want to hear what I have to say, this one's for free. Do not place your trust in Caesar. He's not the man you believe him to be.
:'''Rex''': ''[creates his BFS and holds it at Van Kleiss' throat]'' What are you getting at?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Oh, no, no. That's not how this works. It isn't my turn. Quid pro quo, Rex. If you want to know more-- Why don't we start with something simple? Rylander's Omega Nanite. I know it's inside you.
:'''White Knight''': Status uptade?
:'''Six''': Still no fix on Rex. Scanners can't cut through the storm, so we're moving in to stage a recon.
:'''White Knight''': I will not risk everyone on board that ship for one agent. Not even that agent.
:''[Holiday subtly ends the call. Then to Six]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Whoops. Guess the satellite feed went down. Nasty sand.
:''[Six smirks]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Caesar? Wanted you to know we haven’t found him yet.
:'''Caesar''': Found who?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex.
:'''Caesar''': Right. Ah. Sorry. That was, uh, fifteen minutes ago. I've done about five hundred task since then. Try calibrating the keep's sensors to search for traces of Selenium. It's something Rex naturally gives off, like dandruff.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': I-- Really? Hmm. Okay, thanks.
:'''Van Kleiss''': So what you're saying is, the motor runs off of gravity and the only exhausts are atoms of selenium.
:'''Rex''': Now you. Squid Pro... Whatever. The nanites, the Event. What started all this?
:'''Van Kleiss''': He didn't tell you? I'm not surprised. It was Caesar.
:''[Rex pushes Van Kleiss to nearest wall and take out his BFS once again]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Wasteful, Rex.
:'''Rex''': You're lying!
:'''Van Kleiss''': Hardly. Your brother is responsible for the most significant catastrophe in human history. You have to admit that as brilliant as Caesar is, he's... not quite right. Am I telling you something that you haven't already noticed?
:''[Rex groans]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': HAAAH!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Van Kleiss coughing]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': You seem to have awoken some sort of defense mechanism.
:'''Rex''': What are they defending? Rocks?
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Before we're totally devoid of nanites, we need to end this now-- Together.
:'''Rex''': Back to back!
:'''Van Kleiss''': What?
:'''Rex''': Haven't you ever read a comic book? Back to back! No way. These markings-- They're not hieroglyphics. They're circuit boards. This whole cave, this valley-- It's one giant circuit board. These are data conduits-- Ms. Hubs!
:'''Van Kleiss''': You're right. These spirals are solid-state storage-- The standard design for a firewall in a CPU.
:'''Rex''': Did you just say I'm right? Now that I know what we're dealing with, it's a simple matter of-- Hacking in. This is malo-- Muy malo. Van Kleiss, meet the psycho computer who calls herself--
:'''Van Kleiss''': Zag-RS?
:'''Rex''': How do you know that? ''[Zag-RS notices them and attacks them]'' You know Zag-RS? How?
:'''Van Kleiss''': She was designed as a decontamination program at the original nanite laboratory. Her task was to destroy any rogue nanites that escaped from the holding tanks.
:'''Rex''': She did a great job. Whoever designed her should be taken out and beaten with a tendril.
:'''Van Kleiss''': Caesar designed her.
:'''Rex''': I'm gonna have to have a chat with my brother when this is over.
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Van Kleiss''': Focus, you fool. If we're to survive this, we have to use whatever nanites we have left to shut her down.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': No problemo! Ah, come on! Stay up! Show off!
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': Well, this bites.
:''[Rex straining]''
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex''': Didn't I leave you in orbit? Shouldn't you have burned up in re-entry or something?
:'''Zag-RS''': Re-entry resulted in a hard desert landing. This unit faced complete system failure. Salvation came from integration with the host space station power cell, where new initiatives were established.
:'''Rex''': Turning the world into a sandbox?
:'''Zag-RS''': Correct. The prevention of organic infection by elimination of organic matter and securing the Earth core system. Soon, this world will function without flaw.
:'''Rex''': Van Kleiss! Change of plan! While, I've got Zaggy occupied, you go and warn Providence before it's too late!
:'''Van Kleiss''': There's no time. Her strength is growing exponentially. To achieve victory, you must trust me.
:'''Rex''': Trust you?! That's comedy gold! Even if I was that big of a doof, neither one of us had enough power to fight back!
:'''Van Kleiss''': That's not entirely true.
:'''Rex''': Huh?
:'''Van Kleiss''': I've not been completely honest with you.
:'''Rex''': Stunned-- Really.
:'''Van Kleiss''': The Omega Nanite within you has a self-replicating program. You can create your own nanites.
:'''Rex''': What?! Why didn't you tell me!
:'''Van Kleiss''': A calculated emission.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': No way.
:'''Van Kleiss''': There-- That is the heart of Zag-RS. Strike while you can!
:'''Rex''': Oh, yeah! Now we're talking! Normally, I don't fight girls, but this time I'll make... A big... giant... robot exception!
:'''Dr. Holiday''': I found him, Six-- twenty kilometers northeast. There's a huge spike in trace selenium.
:'''Six''': Charge all weapons.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': The storm's starting to break. But please don't crash.
:'''Rex''': YAAAH!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex''': That's not fair! It worked in the movie!
:''[Rex whimpers]''
:''[Rex groaning]''
:'''Rex''': AAAH!
:'''Zag-RS''': You have miscalculated, human. The more nanites you replicate, the more energy you supply me. 7.5 seconds until I overtake your production.
:''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
:'''Zag-RS''': 4.3 seconds.
:'''Van Kleiss''': AAAAAAAAAH!
:'''Rex''': YAAAAAAH! One psycho robot down, one supervillain to chicken! Finally!
:'''Bobo''': What, you never heard the term &quot;fashionably late&quot;?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Your nanite-replicating function seems to be working well. Most of Zag-RS' alterations have been expunged.
:'''Rex''': Meaning... What?
:'''Bobo''': You ain't gonna wash away at high tide.
:'''Caesar''': This is my design.
:'''Rex''': Great-- My brother created Zag-RS.
:'''Caesar''': Evidently. Though her evolution into some sort of sentient nanite-slayer is most curious.
:'''Six''': Curious?
:'''Rex''': What about what Van Kleiss said?
:'''Caesar''': You mean I'm to blame for the original nanite event? Why don't we ask her? Wait! Interface protocols. Code designate Zag-RS. Respond.
:'''Zag-RS''': Dr. Salazar. Good morning. How may I assist you?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Stand down, gentlemen. Zag-RS has been successfully rebooted. But her memory has been wiped clean.
:'''Rex''': What? You got to be kidding me!
:'''Caesar''': That's interesting. Hmm. Van Kleiss must have implemented a program dump before he left you. It's the only logical conclusion.
:'''Rex''': Program dump?
:'''Van Kleiss''': Do not place your trust in Caesar. He's not the man you believe him to be.
:'''Rex''': Great. So now all we've got is a lame decontamination program with a GPS lady's voice?
:'''Caesar''': GPS lady? Hardly.
:'''Rex:''' I was making a joke.
:'''Caesar''': Don't you recognize it? When I programmed her, I wanted a voice that meant safety, protection, caring. Rex, this is our mother's voice.
:'''Rex''': ''[shocked]'' Mama?

===Night Falls===
: '''Rex:''' If she's not really our grandmother, why are you calling her ''aubuela''?
: '''Caesar:''' There may not be a biological connection but she practically ran the entire town. When you were a boy, you spent every summer here.
: '''Rex:''' I wish I could remember...or any of this.
===Hard Target===
: '''Rex:''' &quot;It's Breach! She's-&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Messing with you, Rex. Did you actually see on her the other side?&quot;
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Well, no but...OK, why Hong Kong?&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Because it's on the other side of the world, because she's seriously messed up.&quot;
: '''Cricket:'''&quot; Kind of like our place.&quot; 
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Trust me. She's back in Abysus laughing it off with the rest of the Pack. Besides, I'm not that easy to find.&quot;
: (''Removes the white towel to reveal her shoulder-length black hair partly dyed a deep plum and having donned a dark gray overall dress'')
: '''Rex:''' &quot;OK, Rex. Bad intro. Take a do-over. Like the new look.&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Wow. A compliment.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Skywdd:''' &quot;And that's when Circe goes all [[w:Siren (mythology)|siren]] and blasts the bus driver's pants clean off.&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;Lucky shot. Hit the exact frequency of polyester.&quot;
:'''Tuck:''' &quot;Good thing his boxers were cotton.&quot;
:'''Rex''' (''uncomfortable'')''':''' &quot;Good one. Uh, Circe, remember when you took down that sea monster in Cabo Luna?&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;Please, Rex, I'd rather not remember that right now.&quot;
:'''Skywdd:''' Geez, Rex. Buzzkill.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Stop it.&quot;
:'''Skywdd:''' &quot;What's with him?&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;Breach lag. Let clean over his bedtime.&quot;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;That and my early morning snooze. By the way, you were right. Breach wasn't after you. She freed Quarry. Got this from the Providence security feed.&quot;
:'''Skywdd:''' &quot;Quarry?&quot;
:'''Tuck:''' &quot;He's lose?&quot;
:'''Cricket:''' &quot;Oh no.&quot;
:'''Circe:''' &quot;You saw Breach and came back ''here!'' What if she followed you!?&quot;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Don't worry. If Breach were here, I'd feel it. She's here.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Breach:''' &quot;Hey, girlfriend.&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Get out of here, Breach!&quot;
: '''Breach:''' &quot;But Van Kleiss has so been wanting to chat.&quot;
: '''Circe:''' &quot;Then deliver a message for him! &quot;
: (''Uses her ultrasonic bursts on Breach, who creates a portal behind her, knocking her out with her own sonic abilities)''
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Let her go, Breach!!&quot;
: '''Breach:''' &quot;Oh, sorry, Rex. She's gonna save my skin. V.K.'s tough on failure, remember?&quot;
: (''Teleports away with an unconscious Circe on her shoulder'')
: '''Rex:''' &quot;NO!!&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' &quot;Hold that thought. You can come out now. I got that creeped out feeling.&quot;
:'''Breach:''' &quot;Peek a boo.&quot;
: '''Skwydd:''' &quot;It's her!'' She took Circe.&quot;
: '''Rex:''' But not to Van Kleiss. You never went to Abysus, did you? You slipped her into your little pocket dimension. Let her go, Breach!
: '''Breach:''' And I agree to that...why?
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Because you wouldn't want Van Kleiss to see this. I'm thinking a trade is in order.&quot;
: (''Breach releases Circe, who is caught by Skwydd'')
: '''Circe:''' &quot;I hate you, Breach.&quot;

===A Family Holiday===
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' The pace of study has been staggeringly slow. There have been no significant advancements in nanite research since the original event. Simply put, Providence is not doing enough. What is required is not a military response, but a serious, thoughtful reaction, a scientific answer. The poor and afflicted deserve more. The world, deserves more. Let me introduce Diane. Mother of three. Diane has been diagnosed as incurable, a lost cause. Since then, she's been treated like an animal, locked away from her family... No hope on the horizon. Until now. At Moses Labs, we don't rely on tanks, guns, or secret weapons-- Only an unwavering belief that whatever science breaks, science can fix. Welcome back, Diane.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Happy birthday, little sister.
:'''Rex:''' Hope that I paid the bills. This is going to be expensive.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Caesar:''' Release the hounds.
:''[a door opens revealing some Evo hounds]''
:'''Rex:''' Huh? Whoa!
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Heh! I thought that was just a figure of speech. You're a sick puppy.
:'''Rex:''' Aah! Not cool, bro!
:''[Rex panting]''
:'''Rex:''' ''[Spanish accent]'' Agua, por favor.
:'''Caesar:''' Water second, probes first.
:'''Rex:''' No offense, but being a guinea pig is a lot less fun when it's you instead of Holiday.
:'''Caesar:''' Don't I run the biometric tests with the same efficiency?
:'''Rex:''' How are we related? Have you looked at Holiday?
:'''Bobo Haha:''' She ain't my species and even I know she's a hottie.
:'''Caesar:''' She is... very smart.
:'''Rex:''' Where is the Doc anyway? She usually can't wait to get her hands on me.
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Saw her this morning, looking pretty grim.
:'''Agent Six:''' It's her sister. Her sister's birthday to be precise. Holiday gets introspective this time of year.
:'''Caesar:''' Her sister? Oh, is she smart too?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hey guys. Can't talk. Hangar!
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Ah, human dames. I don't know how you guys keep up.
:''[Dr. Holiday pants]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Thank you for coming, Dr. Moses. It's a genuine honor.
:'''Rex:''' Who the heck is that guy? Why is Holiday acting all fangirl around him?
:'''Caesar:''' It's Dr. Brandon Moses, the leading researcher in technogenic transmorphing! If anyone's going to develop a kill  for EVOs, it's going to be him!
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Now, that's actin' fan-girl.
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Not the worst I've seen.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Can you help her?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Beverly would be an excellent candidate for my treatments. Have her transported to my facility.
:'''Rex:''' Hold up! I know you have a bunch of letters after your name, but curing EVOs is what I do. Some of them--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Some you just can't handle, Rex. Dr. Moses' research goes to places you don't, so if you don't mind-- 10 minutes, then we'll be in the air. Thank you, doctor. I've earned 5 years' worth of personal time, Knight. I plan to use it all. 
:'''White Knight:''' I don't like it, but I like your sister even less. Go for your &quot;cure&quot;, Holiday. But if it doesn't work, don't bring her back.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Agent Six:''' What do you really know about Dr. Moses?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I know what I saw.
:'''Agent Six:''' You're not taking her to the doctor for a checkup. Has he handed you supporting data?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Why won't you let me have this? It's the first glimmer of hope I've had since Rex got here.
:'''Agent Six''': I think you've lost your objectivity. If you can't help her--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That's the point! I can't! I need this cure. If you won't help me, stay out of my way!
:'''Rex:''' Any chance she's right?
:'''Agent Six:''' Hope she is.
:'''Rex:''' But we're not going to sit around and do nothing in case she's wrong, right? Today you're my sidekick-- Not a fashion-challenged soccer mom blocking my mojo. If there's any chance of playing hero for Holiday, I call dibs.
:'''Security guard:''' Dr. Moses' inventions are not for public viewing-- Especially not by Providence.
:''[Security guard grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' That &quot;soccer mom&quot; comment really got to you, huh? When did science geeks start packing heat? Huh?
:'''Agent Six:''' Check the machine.
:'''Rex:''' I'm no engineer, but as far as I can tell, all this thing does is light up and go &quot;ping&quot;. They never cured it! This was a scam!
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday's in trouble. Holiday, Moses is a fraud. There is no cure!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' What's going on here? Moses, what is this?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Business, Dr. Holiday-- Big business. Now, if you wouldn't mind stepping aside so I can collect your sister--
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday?! What's happening?!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Or don't step aside. I'm good either way.
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday! We've got our coordinates. Go!
:'''Rex:''' It's a hundred miles away!
:'''Agent Six:''' Correct.
:'''Rex:''' Hold on to your swords, old man!
:''[Dr. Holiday grunts]:''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I trusted you!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' A bad trait, a scientist. But look on the bright side-- You won't be locked in a cell anymore. That was just... Shameful.
:'''Rex:''' Be the hero. Be the hero. Be the--
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' ...Zero. You'll be a lot less grouchy in a few seconds, pal. Half cured? That's new.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' They've got Beverly.
:'''Rex:''' You wanna talk to her?
:'''Agent Six:''' Now's not the time.
:'''Rex:''' And when exactly is. She needs a friend, Six.
:'''Agent Six:''' I... prefer to keep it professional. Keeps people from getting hurt.
:'''Rex:''' Dude. Take off the sunglasses. She's already hurting. If I were you--
:''[Six gets a radio signal]''
:'''Agent Six:''' If you were me, you'd have a lead. Get Holiday. Dust off in 3.
:'''Rex:''' Where are we going?
:'''Agent Six:''' Moses may be a genius but not because he can cure EVOs. He overpowers them-- Hypercharges the nanites with excess energy to push their transformations.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That's why Rex only partially cured that EVO he stripped the EVO of its extra power. But at its core, it was still incurable.
:'''Rex:''' We learned something new today. Great.
:'''Agent Six:''' Gets worse. Moses has turned his tech into a cottage industry. He takes incurables and weaponizes them to sell to the highest bidder.
:'''Rex:''' Don't sugarcoat it, Six.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' How did you find this out?
:'''Agent Six:''' I called some former associates-- People who know things, things that good people shouldn't know about.
:'''White Knight:''' Question-- Why is my keep on an unapproved mission?
:'''Rex:''' It's cool, Knight. We're helping Holiday.
:'''White Knight:''' No! We had a deal! Return to base immediately!
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's over guys. I can't drag you down because of my mistake. I won't.
:'''Agent Six:''' Keep returning to base.
:''[Knight ends the transmission]''
:'''Agent Six:''' I said the keep is returning to base. I didn't say we'd be on the keep.
:'''Rex:''' You okay?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hanging in there.
:'''Rex:''' Hanging in there is good. I don't like to see you unhappy, you know. I-I mean--
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I know what you mean. Thanks.
:'''Agent Six:''' Better luck next time.
:''[Rex gasps]''
:'''Rex:''' Jealous much, sidekick?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Who is that?
:'''Rex:''' Someone who knows things good people shouldn't.
:'''Five:''' Machine boy! Like the new ax? You owe me for the last one.
:'''Agent Six:''' We'll talk music later, Five. You have word on Moses?
:'''Five:''' Five don't lie. Your guy is running an auction-- Tonight.
:'''Agent Six:''' I owe you.
:'''Five:''' She's a lot more beautiful than you let on, Six. Try not to screw it up this time.
:'''Agent Six:''' You coming?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' The EVO is the military ordinance of the future. We all know it. You drop one of these babies into your neighbor's backyard, and it's game over. But to get the most annihilation out of your nanites... you need me.
:'''Human EVO:''' You promised to cure!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' My technology not only amps up their abilities, but, for an extra charge, will modify their behavior to suit your needs. What am I bid for this army of one?
:'''Agent Six:''' ''[Bursting in]'' I'll open with extradition for crimes against humanity!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' ''[to his bidders]'' Wait! This is just a minor disturbance.
:''[Moses groans]''
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' ''[to Holiday]'' Do you know what you just cost me, all for one hopless wreck?!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Holiday hits Moses]'' Her name is Beverly.
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Then give sissy a hug.
:'''Dr Holiday:''' No! Don't hurt her, Rex!
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, sure. Handle with care. Whoa! Can you tell her that, too?
:'''Agent Six:''' Going nowhere?
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Uh, let's not be ''[chuckling]'' rash.
:''[Holiday slaps Moses]''
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' I'm gonna have to get you a dictionary. Rash will not help anyone, especially not Beverly.
:''[Holiday grabs Moses]''
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Who can still be cured.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Holiday drops Moses]'' What?
:'''Agent Six:''' ''[Brandishing his swords]'' No games. Truth or dead.
:'''Rex:''' Fight still going! Need assistance! Big time! Whoa!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' I did invent a machine that de-powered nanites, almost. But the bonds and nanite particles were too strong to break. Instead, I discovered that I could reverse the polarity to its maximum, overpowering the nanites. It's easier and-- Profitable.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' But you did isolate the bonds? So, you can break them!
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa! Ugh! Unh! Okay, I called hero, but I need some extra kick for my sidekick! Unh! Seriously!
:'''Dr. Brandon Moses:''' Time to earn a return on my investments! Kill them all!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa! Whoa! 
:'''White Knight:''' I won't even bother telling you the trouble you're in. Catch those other EVOs and report to my office the moment you're back.
:'''Rex:''' What other EVO-O-O-O-Os?
:''[Rex turns around and notices the EVOs behind him]''
:'''Rex:''' Ooos?
:'''Rex:''' Think they got it?
:'''Agent Six:''' They'd better. We're busy.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Unh! Okay. That's the flux transponder. That's the nanite energizer. Don't you explode on me-- Not now. Aah!
:'''Rex:''' I'll hand the one crazed sister. You take the other. It'll be like a double date. Don't bother... your sister... while she's working!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I can see what he did, but... uh... there's no time! I can't-- I can't help her! It's over.
:'''Agent Six:''' Holiday-- Rebecca-- You are the strongest, smartest woman I have ever met, and the most stubborn.
:''[Six removes his glasses and looks her in the eyes]''
:'''Agent Six:''' You never give up. If there's a way to help your sister, find it-- now!
:''[Slight pause. Holiday smiles and puts Six's glasses back on his face then leaves]''
:'''Agent Six:''' That's my girl. New plan. Corral her to the machine.
:'''Rex:''' Plans are good! Yah! What you got, Doc?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Moses was right. The polarity of the nanite energizer is wrong! I have to amplify and reverse it. But I don't have-- Six... Your magna blades-- But it would be too dangerous. Six!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six!
:'''Agent Six:''' Is it working?
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's working.
:'''Rex:''' Six, get out of there!
:'''Agent Six:''' You called hero on this one, Rex! Finish it-- For her! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Unh! Get them out, Rex-- Both of them-- Now!
:''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
:'''Rex:''' Doc! You gotta see this!
:''[Dr. Holiday panting]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[as she's trying to revive Six]'' Don't you do this to me! I will hate you forever if you--
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:''[Six coughs]''
:'''Beverly:''' Rebecca?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Beverly!
:'''Rex:''' That was... I'm... Wow! Six, I've never said it before and I'll probably never say it again, but... I'm honored to be your partner.
:'''Bobo Haha:''' Mushy stuff? Oh! Glad I missed it.
:'''Rex:''' But don't ever do anything like that again.
:'''Agent Six:''' Agreed. But you have to admit though... It was worth it.
:''[Dr. Holiday and Beverly laughs]''
:'''White Knight:''' We're not running a boarding house here. No more relatives.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I just need her for a few more tests, sir. She was only 13 when she went Evo, and she's in a fragile state.
:'''Beverly:''' Woo Hoo!
:''[Beverly laughing]''
:'''Beverly:''' Rex just took me on a ride through the Zoo on his cycle.
:'''White Knight:''' &quot;Fragile.&quot; Right.
:'''Rex:''' We're going to the mall.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Are you asking permission?
:'''Rex:''' No. I'm asking if we can have some money. Providence pays me nada.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Can I have a word with you?
:'''Agent Six:''' Sure this is a good idea? Could ruin your hero status with Holiday.
:'''Rex:''' It's funny. After meeting Bev, out of nowhere, it hit me that Doc Holiday is just a little too old for me. So, since I'm out of the way, I guess there's nothing stopping you anymore, huh, &quot;hero&quot;?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Well... right. I guess... I'll set up those tests.
:''[Holiday starts to walk past Six. Six takes a hold of her hand]''
:'''Agent Six:''' Or... we could get some dinner.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Outside? In the real world? Like real people? Like a--
:'''Agent Six:''' Yes. Like a date.
:''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's about time.

===Hong Kong Nights===

===Whispers in the Dark===
===Cutting It Close===

===Exposed===
:'''White Knight''': All Providence personnel, this is a priority-one alert.
:'''Agent Six''': Do not panic. Remember your training.
:'''White Knight''': In all my years of working at Providence, never have I been put in such a situation. These interlopes could be anywhere at any given moment.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Hey, what's all the-- Whoa! Sorry. We're late.
:'''Bobo Haha''': You can't prove a thing!
:'''White Knight''': Watch what you say. Watch what you do. The very future of Providence may depend upon it.
:'''Rex Salazar''': So, what's going on? Van Kleiss attack in the HQ again?
:'''Agent Six''': Worse.
:'''Diane Farrah:''' I'm Diane Farrah, and for the first time ever, we've got an exclusive all-access pass inside the top-secret organization known as Providence. To uncover for our viewers, all the juiciest behind-the-scenes details of this most secret of institutions. And to find out the real story behind that man of mystery you've all wondered about for so long.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Aah.
:'''Diane Farrah''': All your questions are about to be answered. Welcome to Providence Exposed! ''[Camera closes-up on her face]'' On Ultimate Exposure! And cut. Great into, guys. Okay, moving on.
:'''Rex Salazar''': This is cool.
:'''Agent Six''': This is wrong.
:'''Rex Salazar''': How's my hair?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Delicious.
:'''White Knight''': Ladies and gentlemen, the delightful Miss Farrah and her crew have used the Freedom of Information Act to force.
:''[White Knight clears his throat]''
:'''White Knight''': To allow them access to a day in the life of Providence. And to ensure you are afforded the very best Providence has to offer, I'm assigning our top man as your personal guide.
:''[Rex moves towards the news team]''
:'''White Knight''': Six, please show Miss Farrah whatever she wants to see.
:'''Agent Six''': Agent Six is the name. On behalf of Providence, I'd like to welcome you to our facility.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Spare me the small talk. I'm here to ask the tough questions, and I expect truthful answers.
:'''Agent Six''': Shoot.
:'''Diane Farrah''': So.. is there a Mrs. Six?
:''[Combs her hair]''
:'''Bobo Haha''': Smooth.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Like you'd have done better.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Are you kidding? They want exposed. I'm going to give that reporter a piece of my mind and a few other pieces while I'm at it. I got stories that'll make them run screaming for the hills.
:''[Bobo Haha laughs]''
:'''Agent Six''': If you'll follow me, I'll be happy to show you one of our nanite research labs up close and personal. EVO control is our primary area of concentration, but Providence is focused on a great many studies. Each employing the best and the brightest our planet has to offer.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Thanks, Six. You know, this is my brother's lab. He's only like the smartest guy in the entire world. Yeah, being the best at what we do totally runs in our family.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Not a good time.
:'''Agent Six''': That experiment is highly sensitive.
:'''Diane Farrah''': So, Agent Six, how did you become a Providence agent?
:'''Agent Six''': That's also highly sensitive.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Amazing story though about how I became a Providence agent. See, there was this big accident.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Good morning. My name is Dr. Rebecca Holiday, And I'm the chief research officer for the Providence Laboratory Facilities - specializing in the study of evology. Providence's number one priority is the security of our planet. And through the studying and understanding the forces that threaten us--
:'''Diane Farrah''': Let's cut to the chase, shall we, doctor?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Oh, um, okay.
:'''Diane Farrah''': How do you balance the threat of EVOs, the constant danger... with being a woman?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Uh.
:''[Dr. Holiday laughs nervously]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Oh, excuse me.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Speaking of studying, check this out. You can edit that, right?
:'''Diane Farrah''': We're all about the editing.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, maybe you could show these journalists some of your other duties, like what you're supposed to be doing right now, for instance.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, man. That's right. Come on. You're going to love this.
:'''Diane Farrah''': EVOs come from far and wide for a chance to be cured by this young man. How often do you do this?
:'''Rex Salazar''': At least once a week here at HQ. When I'm in other parts of the county or the world, Providence sets up a mobile cure station. There are a lot of people out there who need my help. I only wish I could get to them all. Wait. Um, let my try again. ''[after Rex can't cure an EVO]'' Shut it off.
:'''Diane Farrah''': But this is really good drama, Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I asked to be on TV. They didn't. Please give these people their privacy.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Come on, buddy. Everybody has an off day.
:'''Rex Salazar''': In front of millions of viewers? So much for everyone's favorite Providence man of mystery.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Well, they're just lucky they haven't had the camera on me yet. Oh man, talk about Ultimate Exposure. When I get through with them--
:'''Rex Salazar''': I just wish I could look cool on camera somehow.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Phbt! Good luck. The only way that's going to happen now is if some experimental EVOs busted out of their cages and went on a rampage so you could round them up and look like a hero.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Providence isn't known for being forthcoming with information. I hope this interview will change that. The people want answers and I fully expect them from you.
:'''White Knight''': Very well. What do you want to know?
:'''Diane Farrah''': For starters, how do you get fresh milk without any nanites in it?
:'''White Knight''': If you must know, it's passed through a powerful magnet that removes and neutralizes any nanite activity.
:'''Agent Six''': Observe.
:''[White Knight smacks lips]''
:'''White Knight''': Anything else?
:'''Diane Farrah''': Not at the moment, but I'll be back.
:'''White Knight''': I look forward to it.
:''[White Knight sips]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': So, Agent Six, what do you think about White Knight's obsession with staying nanite-free at the expense of human contact?
:'''Agent Six''': He's a man of many mysteries.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Look out! Coming through! Dangerous escaped EVOs on the loose! Stand back! Let a professional handle this!
:'''Diane Farrah''': Follow him.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Yeah, I'm kind of awesome.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Did you get them all?
:'''Rex Salazar''': How many did you release?
:'''Bobo Haha''': I don't know, three or four.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, which was it? Three or four?
:''[Rex Salazar gasps]''
:'''Agent Six''': Well then. Now that Rex's little demonstration is over, how about a visit to the Providence gift shop? On me.
:'''Diane Farrah''': How long has Providence had a gift shop?
:'''Agent Six''': Since 8:00 A.M. You want to tell me how a class by EVO got out of its electromagnetically-sealed container and just happened to cross paths with our tour?
:'''Rex Salazar''': It's not like this kind of thing doesn't happen here all the time. I just wanted it to happen this time, in front of the camera, all right?
:'''Agent Six''': Not all right. That last EVO-- You just helped it molt so it could grow. Its body is still out there somewhere, getting bigger.
:'''White Knight''': Providence is run like a finely tuned machine. Until you decide to throw a monkey wrench into the works.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Hey, pal, let's leave the comedy to me.
:'''White Knight''': And how is it exactly that these EVOs got out?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Okay, Mea Culpa. I may have accidentally knocked open a cage or two-- Or four.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': That fourth cage was electromagnetically sealed.
:'''Bobo Haha''': I didn't say it was easy.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': The EVO we had contained in there feeds on electricity. It must be kept away from any electrical current.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Then it sure is a good thing this whole place isn't full of electricity. Oh, wait.
:'''White Knight''': Find it. Subdue it. And most importantly, don't let that camera crew see it.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Eh, were wastin' time hunting this thing down when I could be on camera right now, giving those people a piece of my mind.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Hey, I only saw the EVOs empty husk before. What's the real thing look like anyway? Huh?
:'''Bobo Haha''': That.
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:''[Rex Salazar grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Any suggestions?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Can you make a soccer net?
:''[Rex Salazar and Bobo Haha grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Aha! Got you cornered now. There's no way out. You're overpowered.
:'''Bobo Haha''': You were saying?
:'''Agent Six''': You wanted to interview me. Now's your chance. Go.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Um... okay. Tell me, Six-- May I call you Six?-- What is the real truth behind the nanite event that created the EVOs?
:'''Agent Six''': That's classified.
:'''Diane Farrah''': What is your role, if any, in that event?
:'''Agent Six''': That's classified, too.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Are you always this talkative?
:'''Agent Six''': No comment.
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Wait. Let me do that again. You didn't get my good side. Which is my good side?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Your backside.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Agent Six, you promised you were taking us to the heart of the operation.
:'''Agent Six''': Right. The heart of the operation. This way.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': [Watching from a monitor] It went right.
:''[Rex goes to his right. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Camera right!
:''[Rex goes to the camera's right]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': How can you miss it now? It's six feet in diameter and weighs five hundred pounds!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Less criticizing, more helping!
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Try to steer it in the direction of Hallway twelve. We can isolate it in the atrium.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, we've got it contained there now.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': No, sorry. I was reading that backwards. Hallway twenty one.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, Hallway twenty one leads to the central core!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, so, no big deal. That's a cold-fission reactor, not electric, right?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, all electricity is converted from something-- Wind, solar, hydro-- At the central core!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Ohh.
:''[Providence Agent screams]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Uh-hoh.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Rex, listen carefully and do exactly as I say because we're only going to get one shot at this.
:'''Diane Farrah''': One shot at what, doctor?
:'''Dr. Holiday''': The... future. Providence is the future. The future used to be the space program. Now the future is Providence and the science of EVOs.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Doc? Are you still there? We have a situation.
:'''Agent Six''': Just a minor downgrade of power during a routine relay check. Nothing to worry about.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Guys, I could really use some advice right about now!
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''White Knight''': Attention all Providence Personnel, we have a Level-One Priority...
:''[Realizes the reporters are present]''
:'''White Knight''': Drill. Repeat-- This is our daily drill in the Central Core-- Now.
:'''Agent Six''': Lunch bell. It's taco day. Anyone hungry?
:'''Diane Farrah''': Agent Six, while we appreciate the commemorative spoons and the tacos, I can't help but think that you've been hiding something from our viewers.
:'''Agent Six''': Not at all, ma'am. Providence is an open book.
:''[Rex Salazar screams]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': Cut! You're ruining the shot, Rex. Just be patient. I will get to you-- I promise.
:''[Rex Salazar groans]''
:'''Agent Six''': Get down.
:''[Diane Farrah gasps]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': That was... what you did.
:'''Agent Six''': Just doing my job, ma'am.
:'''Rex Salazar''': And I'm just doing mine!
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': You're not going anywhere now, buddy, except back to your-- Cage?
:'''White Knight''': We hope that you and the Ultimate Exposure team are enjoying our EVO containment demonstration, Miss Farrah. All part of readiness training here at Providence.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Can I quote you on that?
:'''White Knight''': Miss Farah, I'm not gonna stop you from filming, but for your own safety and the safety of your crew, please step back and let my people do what they do best. Alpha Team, I need a containment of the cafeteria, cube formation. Fire! Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm on it.
:'''Agent Six''': Stay here. This is the real deal.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Not on your life. Find an elevator. We're missing it.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Still not a good ti-i-i-i-i-me!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, big boy. No more crawl spaces. No more Hallways. Just you and me in a big, old hangar bay mano y mano.
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Huh?
:'''Bobo Haha''': ''[after Rex has been repeatedly beaten back by the Evo]'' Looks like you showed him.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Are you going to talk, or are you going to help?
:'''Bobo Haha''': Talk. Kidding! I'm helping! I'm helping!
:''[Rex Salazar grunts]''
:''[Rex Salazar groaning]''
:''[Rex Salazar groaning]''
:''[Rex Salazar sighs]''
:''[Rex Salazar groaning]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': Please tell me you're getting all of this.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Providence's man of mystery strikes again. Ow! It-- it bit me!
:'''Diane Farrah''': Quick, grab some B-roll footage before they get rid of all the evidence.
:'''Rex Salazar''': You did see that I did all the heavy lifting and Six just took out the trash, right?
:'''Diane Farah''': Don't worry. The camera never lies.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Yes!
:'''Bobo Haha''': Good! Then get a load of this!
:'''Diane Farah''': Do you have something to say?
:''[Camera zooms in on Bobo]''
:'''Bobo Haha''': Oh... oh.
:''[Bobo mutters then passes out]''
:'''Diane Farrah''': I think we have everything we need.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I don't know how you guys came off looking, but yours truly rocked hard. Just call me Providence's Man of Mystery from now on. Oh, yeah! Stardom starts in five, four, three, two--
:'''Diane Farrah''': I'm Diane Farrah, and for the first time ever, we've got an exclusive all-access pass inside the top-secret organization known as Providence. To uncover for our viewers, all the juiciest behind-the-scenes details of this most secret of institutions.
:'''Rex Salazar''': We are so dead.
:'''Bobo Haha''': Nice knowing you, kid.
:'''Diane Farrah''': To find out the real story behind that man of mystery you've all wondered about for so long.
:'''Agent Six''': Agent Six is the name.
:'''Rex Salazar''': They did it.
:'''Bobo Haha''': They did.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': This is a news show? What is the world coming to?
:'''Diane Farrah''': Look out, ladies. Agent Six is the full package -- brains, brawn, and--
:'''Agent Six''': Highly sensitive.
:'''Diane Farrah''': Just what is he hiding behind those alluring, dark glasses of his?
:'''Agent Six''': That's classified.
:'''Diane Farrah''': He's the Providence agent you women wanted to get to know.
:'''Agent Six''': Up close and personal.
:'''Diane Farrah''': That's right, girls.
:'''Agent Six''': He's The real deal.
:'''Diane Farrah''': And he's known throughout Providence as--
:'''Agent Six''': The heart of the operation.
:'''Diane Farrah''': He's the organization's best-kept secret, the ultimate agent, and--
:'''Agent Six''': The man of many mysteries.
:'''Diane Farrah''': And, yes, ladies, he is single -- or is he?
:''[Dr. Holiday laughs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday''': Excuse me.
:'''Agent Six''': No comment.
:''[Rex and Bobo Haha laughs]''
:'''White Knight''': Well, that's a relief.
:'''Rex Salazar''': ''[after the story airs]'' So, man of mystery, what's it like being a big star adored by women everywhere?
:'''Agent Six''': No comment.

===Touch and Go===
===The Siren's Lament===
* Flashbacks as to how Circe came to work for Van Kleiss.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Grounded===
===Six Minus Six===
===In Dreams===

===Lions and Lambs===
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:''[Providence agents are standing in an industrial area, fingers on triggers. Rex flies in on jet pack and lands beside all the agents.]''
:'''Rex:''' Any sign? ''[Rex notices agents shaking in fear.]'' Alright then, who’s up for a burger, anyone? Tough crowd.
:''[Six walks up.]''
:'''Six:'''	These agents seem nervous. Haven’t they dealt with this situation before?
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, that's kind of the problem.
:''[Rex twitches, as if he is feeling Breach's presence.]''
:'''Providence Agent:''' Here she comes.
:''[Breach appears in front of them. They fire at her. She sends their missiles and agents away with red portals.]''
:'''Six:'''	How do we stop her?
:'''Rex:'''	''[Smack Hands.]'' Hit hard and keep clear of anything that glows.
:''[Breach has a collar around her neck like the one Van Kleiss wears, and a device on her chest like his only much larger and shackles are around her giant hands which look like Van Kleiss's bio-mechanical wrist. She opens a red portal. A giant jellyfish-like thing flies out at Six, then a large creature with a horn on its nose runs out. Rex jumps at Breach, she portals out, returns and the device on her chest starts sparking.]''
:'''Rex:'''	What's with the new toy, Breach?
:'''Breach:'''	''[Glares]'' Wouldn’t you like to know?
:''[T-Rex appears through a gold colored portal, sniffs Rex.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Seriously, where do you find these things? Let's see what you started out as, big guy. ''[Tries to cure.] Six? This... this isn't an EVO!'' It's an actual T-Rex! ...Six?
:''[Rex runs from T-Rex.]''
:'''Breach:'''	Have fun. ''[Leaves through red portal.]''
:''[Rex hides behind light pole, T-Rex pulls pole from ground, Rex falls to the ground.]''
:'''Six:'''	I take it this sort of thing doesn't happen all the time?
:'''Rex:''' Try never? This is all kinds of wrong.
:''[Rex makes BFS, runs at T-Rex; Six runs at T-Rex, jumps on and stabs it in back.]''
:'''Holiday:'''	Is that what I think it is?
:'''Six:''' You mean about to be extinct?
:'''Holiday:''' If you destroy the scientific find of a lifetime, it won’t be the only thing.
:'''Rex:'''	It's trying to eat us.
:'''Six:'''	You heard the lady. Take it down soft.
:'''Rex:'''	Easy for you to say.
:''[Rex lies on the ground holding the jaws open with Smack Hands and it slobbers on him.]''
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Video of T-Rex in confinement field. The T-Rex turns to dust.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Breach is powerful enough as it is, and now you're telling me she can travel through time?
:'''Holiday:'''	However she's doing it, I haven't worked out all the kinks yet. That dinosaur reverted to its actual age about less than two hours after arrival.
:'''Caesar:'''	Photo and deep scan analysis reveals some very interesting technology at work here. Van Kleiss has really stepped up his game.
:'''White Knight:''' Skip the fan talk. How do we stop it?
:'''Caesar:'''	Until I get my hands on the device, I'm not certain we can.
:'''White Knight:''' We have to bring her to our side.
:'''Rex:'''	The only way she's coming here is if she does it willingly.
:'''White Knight:''' How do you propose we persuade her?
:'''Rex:'''	With me. ''[Six and Holiday stare at him skeptically.]'' I can be very convincing. Okay, okay. I think she might still have a thing for me.
:'''Bobo:''' Atta boy, work it on the crazy chick.
:'''White Knight:''' I don't care how we do it as long as we get results. Providence is under the microscope. It is the worst time for Van Kleiss to gain the upper hand. Get to it. Bring her in.
:''[Six and Holiday walking out of the room together down the hall.]''
:'''Six:''' ''[To Holiday.]'' I need a word. Something's wrong with White.
:'''Holiday:'''	Oh. That. He’s always like this, Six.
:'''Six:'''	No. This is different. I know when something is bothering him. The secret meetings, the anxiety. He’s up to something.
:'''Holiday:'''	I'll see what I can find out.
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Rex on hoverboard, in Providence stealth suit.]''
:'''Rex:'''	WHOO-HOO! Works pretty good. After all, I built it. ''[Loses control of board for a moment.]''
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Van Kleiss's castle, Rex hiding by entrance.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Going in. ''[Pulls up stealth mask, disappears partly, runs past guard.]''
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[Breach is hooked up to a large machine. Van Kleiss stands before her with a huge bank of controls and displays, spooky dark lighting. She screams.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' This is unacceptable, Breach. I need you to concentrate.
:'''Breach:''' It hurts.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Think of what I'm trying to achieve here. I cannot fail.
:''[Breach screams in agony and collapses.]''
:''[Rex looks down horrified, Van Kleiss grins, Breach screams and falls down.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I'll return when it recharges and we'll start again.
:''[Rex holds his hand out to her.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Why do you let him do this to you?
:'''Breach:''' Glory.
:'''Rex:'''	Van Kleiss's glory. Is he even noticing how you're tearing yourself apart for him? Have you ever heard him say thank you? What do you say we blow this joint, you and me? He's hurting you.
:'''Breach:'''	It's not real. It can't hurt you if it isn't real.
:'''Rex:'''	Breach, look at me. It is. I'm real, all of this is real. You don't have to live this way.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Why am I not surprised. Rex has come to rescue another of my lost sheep. Perhaps he'll try to save you next, Biowulf.
:'''Rex:'''	That depends. Is he housebroken yet?
:'''Biowulf:'''	I am no traitor.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	You’ve no doubt seen our little experiment. Breach shows great promise. She just needs a little fine tuning.
:'''Rex:'''	Then what? Go back in time and be king of the cavemen?
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Why not? It wouldn’t be much of a step down, now would it? Breach, if you would, remove our guest so we can continue. Practice makes perfect, or in your case, acceptable.
:''[Breach makes a red portal.]''
:'''Rex:''' Breach! Think about what you're doing.
:''[Van Kleiss grins, she runs and puts her arms around Rex, portals out with Rex.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Find her. Now.
:''[Mountains, snow, Rex shivering.]''
:'''Rex:'''	I'm glad you got us out of there, but where... are we?
:'''Breach:'''	When the snow is gone you can see forever.
:'''Rex:''' That's nice. Can we go now?
:'''Breach:''' I need to know if I can trust you.
:'''Rex:'''	You can trust me. I swear.
:''[Breach grabs his hand and hugs him. He opens his eyes. They are standing on a shiny endless reflective surface, reflecting stars.]''
:'''Rex:'''	This is different.
:'''Breach:'''	Do you see it?
:'''Rex:'''	Um--
:'''Breach:'''	This is where the stillness comes from.
:'''Rex:'''	You. Are weird. So what exactly does this mean? Are you coming with me or is this some kind of test?
:'''Breach:'''	I need you to see it.
:'''Rex:'''	Ah... A test.
:'''Breach:'''	Do you wanna understand?
:'''Rex:'''	Not exactly sure. ''[She glares, he waves his hands in front of him.]'' Yes, I mean yes. I mean--
:'''Breach:''' Follow me. ''[Walks through red portal.]''
:''[Another place. A door, a doll, a bear and a fire hydrant float in space.]''
:''[Rex hanging upside down, she is holding him by his ankle above a swirling pink vortex.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Ahh! What happened? I thought we were getting along fine!
:'''Breach:'''	Why are you here?
:'''Rex:''' Good question. Where exactly is here? Can we go somewhere else now, somewhere like, on Earth?
:''[She drops him. He screams and lands on the floor between some stacks of books.]''
:'''Rex:''' You sure know how to pick'em. What kind of tripped out dimension is this? ''[Librarian walks by and shushes him.]'' Oh. College.
:'''White Knight:''' ''[On communicator in Rex's right ear.]'' Rex, report. Where on earth have you been?
:'''Rex:'''	Apparently every place but.
:'''White Knight:''' I need to know you can handle this otherwise we're going to try a different approach.
:'''Rex:'''	You need to chill out, White. I’m making progress. ''[Rex puts his hand to his left ear.]'' Dr. Holiday, are you there?
:'''Holiday:'''	Tracking shows you’re with Breach. Are you okay?
:'''Rex:'''	Fine? Creeped out but fine. I can't bring Breach back to Providence, White would just lock her up and that won't help.
:'''Holiday:'''	Where will you take her?
:'''Rex:'''	I'll think of something. Just keep White Knight off my case.
:''[Breach appears behind him.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Why don't you let me pick out where we go next?
:''[Scene change.]''
:''[White Knight hands folded moving nervously.]''
:'''White Knight:''' He says he's making progress.
:'''Black Knight:''' The committee is losing confidence. They want results, not excuses.
:'''White Knight:''' Then that's exactly what they’ll get.
:''[Scene change. Rex sits across from Breach in a booth at a bowling alley.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Soooo, don't like bowling, huh? I figured with the extra arms you'd be a natural.
:'''Breach:'''	I'm not supposed to like you, but I do.
:'''Rex:''' ''[smiles]'' We're teenagers. At least assuming you are. Doing what we are not supposed to is part of the job. French fry?
:''[She takes it and then drops it.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Do you remember anything? From before you... changed?
:'''Breach:'''	I remember everything. And nothing.
:'''Rex:''' Naturally. Why did I even bother to ask. Listen, Breach. I'm not going to pretend I understand you, ''[Puts his hand on her giant hand]'' but I can help. If you let me.
:''[The machine starts to glow, they jump to their feet, other people look startled.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Nothing to worry about. Everything's fine.
:'''Breach:'''	I can't, I can't stop it.
:'''Rex:'''	Let me try. ''[He tries and it knocks him onto the floor sparking.]''
:'''Breach:'''	Van Kleiss has control. They're coming.
:''[Van Kleiss busts through the door with The Pack following. Raises bio-mechanical hand, palm of it glows, device on Breach's chest turns off.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Okay, do your thing. Get us out of here. Anywhere.
:''[she tries]''
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	You can't take what doesn't belong to you.
:'''Rex:'''	I didn't take you for the jealous type. ''[Rex shoots bowling balls at Van Kleiss with his cannon, hits Biowulf and Skalamander in the face and Van Kleiss punches the balls aside with his bio-mechanical hand.]''
:'''Rex:''' Breach, let's go!
:''[Breach rides off with Rex on hoverboard, Van Kleiss and Pack follow on three flying fish EVO's with harnesses and big teeth. They dodge and crash Van Kleiss into a window, and land in a park.]''
:''[Breach and Rex stand together on a footbridge looking down into the water.]''
:'''Breach:''' ''[Walks to bridge and looks at her reflection, Rex follows.]'' Will they hurt me?
:'''Rex:'''	Providence? Not if I can help it.
:'''Breach:'''	They did before. Ms. Smarty Pants—she likes to hurt me.
:'''Rex:''' I'll give you my word, if you come back to Providence, I promise no one will hurt you.
:'''Breach:'''	We can be together forever and ever. ''[She walks off bridge, ducks swimming in water.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Uh... something like that. What am I getting myself into? We gotta move. I bet my brother has already figured out how to turn that thing of yours off.
:''[The ducks fly off, they look and see a reflection in the pond of White Knight's ship.]''
:''[White Knight walks up followed by Providence fighter planes.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Uh guys, what are you doing?!
:'''White Knight:''' If you can't have something done right, do it yourself.
:''[They shoot at Breach, she screams, Rex is horrified.]''
:'''Rex:''' No! No! No! ''[walks up bridge to White Knight]'' Do have any idea what you just did?
:''[Breach's chest device turns on, she screams, Providence shoots at her.]''
:'''Rex:''' Is this what you wanted? Congratulations! ''[runs to Breach]'' Breach! Wait!
:'''Breach:''' Liar! ''[Throws red portal at Rex, he dodges, second one hits him, he disappears. Providence keeps shooting, she throw portals, drops three soldiers in water.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Agent Six!
:''[He jumps at her, she portals him away to behind Knight. Rex jumps from the water onto the bridge by Knight.]''
:'''Rex:'''	You had no intention to bring her in, did you?
:'''White Knight:''' I wanted to believe you, Rex, but this is too important. She can't be controlled.
:'''Rex:''' Control... Her powers are back on. Van Kleiss.
:''[Van Kleiss arrives on flying fish EVO.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Settle down, Breach.
:''[Chest device turns off.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Let me do this. I can get through to her. Come on. It couldn't get any worse than you've already made it
:''[Knight and Six look at each other.]''
:'''White Knight:''' Form a perimeter around Breach. Van Kleiss isn't to touch her.
:''[A rock wall rises from the ground blocking Rex as he runs towards Breach. The Pack jumps down from wall to attack Rex, Six intervenes. Agents surround Breach, she tries and fails to make red portal. Screams. Van Kleiss flies in on fish, knocks down agents with bio-mechanical whip arm, shoots needles from fingers and knocks more down, fish knocks the rest down. White Knight shoots at Van Kleiss.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' If you had any idea what I was trying to do you might even welcome it.
:'''White Knight:''' Enlighten me.
:''[Van Kleiss touches a tree and it turns into an EVO. EVO tree catches and holds White. Six and Biowulf fight, Rex and Skalamander fight.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Enlighten you?
:''[Sticks his claws in White Knight, glowing White Knight screams.]'' All in good time, White Knight, assuming you have some left.
:''[Six throws a magnablade through Van Kleiss's bio-mechanical arm and he lets go of White.]''
:'''Six:'''	''[to White Knight]'' Go. I mean it. ''[White Knight flies off.]''
:'''Six:''' The name's Six.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	We've met.
:'''Six:'''	Don't remember. ''[They fight.]''
:''[Breach on merry-go-round, turning slowly looking at the sky.
:'''Rex:'''	You're just using her.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Of course I am. She knows it. Spare me the chivalry, Rex. Providence would do the same.
:'''Rex:'''	Either way you slice it, she loses!
:'''Breach:''' ''[to herself]'' My two favorites. You both lie. Neither is real.
:'''Rex:''' ''[goes to her]'' Breach, I'm sorry. I meant what I said.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Words mean nothing.
:'''Rex:''' Then let this do the talking. ''[Turns on her machine, puts it into her power.]''
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' You just handed her a loaded gun.
:'''Rex:'''	And now it's her choice how to use it.
:'''Van Kleiss:'''	Oh if only I had the chance to get through to you, Rex, to teach you how the world really works.
:''[Breach steps in front of Van Kleiss, raises her arms as if to send Rex away. Makes huge yellow portal above them.]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Our very first time traveler. You should be honored. Now Breach, if you wouldn't mind.
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:''[Rex closes his eyes. Breach sends Van Kleiss away with yellow portal.]''
:'''Rex:''' That was... unexpected.
:''[Rex tries to turn machine off but fails.]''
:'''Rex:'''	It won't turn off. I'm sorry. I, I didn't know.
:'''Breach:'''	Van Kleiss made it like this so I wouldn't send him away.
:'''Rex:'''	That didn't work out so well did it? Six, get everyone out of here now! ''[A big yellow dome forms around the playground where Rex and Breach stand.]''
:'''Rex:'''	So, what's going to happen?
:''[Rex and Breach are about to be engulfed by Breach's out of control time portal]''
:'''Breach''': ''[she looks up]'' I don't know if any of this was real. But it was nice having a friend for a while. ''[Rex smiles, Breach hugs him as they dispensary in the golden time portal]''
:'''Rex:''' I didn't get blown up. ''[Sees a lizard.]'' Whoa! ''[Jumps away, startled.]'' Oh no, please don't let this be dino time. ''[Touches earpiece in left ear.]'' Rex to Providence, do you copy? :''[Takes earpiece out and looks at it.]'' Oh... Rex to Providence, you better be there.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Uh... we copy, Rex. We have a lock on your coordinates and are sending a jump jet.
:'''Rex:'''	Is Six okay? Breach went supernova.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Someone's on the way, just hold tight. Providence out.
:''[Scene change, Rex lying on the ground.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Took you long enough.
:''[Turns over and sees Providence agents, pointing guns at him.]''
:'''Providence Agent:''' Rex is onboard. Heading back to HQ.
:'''Rex:'''	HQ? Ten minutes ago I was in the middle of an epic battle. You need to take me back!
:'''Providence Agent:''' Um, that battle is over.
:'''Rex:''' What happened? Is Six okay? Guys...what's going on?
:''[They arrive at HQ.]''
:'''Caesar:'''	Baby brother, you're okay! ''[Runs and hugs him.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Breach just sent me to nowheresville. Nothing to freak out over.
:'''Caesar:'''	''[To Providence agent.]'' You didn't tell him?
:'''Providence Agent:''' Our orders were just to bring him back.
:'''Rex:'''	Tell me what? Hey, when did you... have a beard?
:'''Caesar:''' There's no easy way to tell you this, hermano. Breach didn't just send you to the middle of nowhere. You've been gone for six months.
:'''Rex:'''	Six months?! So this is--
:'''Caesar:''' Technically, the future. I should warn you, there've been a few changes.
:'''Rex:'''	You didn't give away my room, did you?
:'''Caesar:''' As a matter of fact, they did.
:'''Rex:''' What?! Caesar, tell me what's going on here.
:'''Caesar:'''	It would be better if I showed you.
:'''Rex:'''	White Knight taking visitors now?
:'''Caesar:'''	I'll wait out here.
:''[Rex sees Providence agents dressed in black.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Nice suits.
:''[Goes into the office.]''
:'''Rex:'''	Ah... Love what you've done with the place. White?
:''[Person in chair turns around, it's a woman, not White Knight.]''
:'''Black Knight:''' Thank you, Rex. ''[She gets up and walks towards him.]'' It was a little bright for my taste. White Knight is no longer associated with this organization.
:'''Rex:''' He quit?
:'''Black Knight:''' He...attempted a hostile takeover and failed. Can I get you anything? Water? A snack?
:'''Rex:''' I don't want a snack! Where's Six? Where's Holiday!?
:'''Black Knight:''' This must upsetting to you. Change is never easy but from I understand, you've been in situations like this before. Everything's going to be fine.
:'''Rex:''' Who are you?!
:'''Black Knight:''' Someone very happy to have you back. Call me Black Knight.

==Season Three (2011-2013)==
===Back in Black===
: '''Rex''': Okay, I get what's going on here.
: '''Black Knight''': I'm relieved to hear that, Rex.
: '''Rex''': You can come out! I know you're there!
: '''Black Knight''': Rex?
: '''Rex''': We're friends, now, remember? Breach?
: '''Black Knight''': Breach isn't here, Rex. The world's changed. As soon you accept th--
: '''Rex''': No, I'm not ignoring you. It's just that you're not real.
: '''Black Knight''': I assure you I'm very real-- as is all of this.
: '''Rex''': ''[chuckling]'' Oh, come on. It's been a fun time in the ol' Breachscape, but, you know, time to go home now.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex''': Seen this before. Usually ends with a black hole.
: '''Black Knight''': Rex, you're disoriented. Let me--
: '''Rex''': Sorry, non-lady. No time. Got an exit to find! Shall we aprehend?
: '''Black Knight''': It won't be necessary.
: '''Caesar''': Rex! Have you lost it?
: '''Rex''': Caesar! We're in a pocket dimension! It could collapse at any second!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Caesar''': That's crazy, Rex. This is not a pocket dimension.
: '''Rex''': You're right! It's a whole alternate universe! And-- and-- and you're my Brother's evil twin! Out of the way! Six! Six! Doc!
: ''[Rex panting]''
: '''Rex''': Dr. Holiday! Doc!
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex''': Wha-- Well, at least some things haven't changed. Whoa! Whoa! Okay, now I-- Bleh-- know I'm in an-- Aah!-- alternate universe. Unh! You can go ahead and -- Blech!-- Eat me now, please.
: '''Black Knight''': Release.
: '''Rex''': You were... saying something about changes?
: '''Black Knight''': There have been a few.
: '''Caesar''': You've got temporal lag, Rex. It's kind of like altitude sickness, only in time. Here-- This will balance your electrolytes.
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex''': So this is really-- 
: '''Black Knight''': Really. Welcome to the future, Rex-- Or, rather, to the present. Without your healing abilities, Providence has embraced a new paradigm. We've moved beyond the outmoded era of &quot;cure, contain, or kill.&quot;
: '''Rex''': And into the era of &quot;serious leash laws&quot;.
: '''Caesar''': We used the petting zoo as our test bed. What do you think?
: '''Rex''': I think it needs a new name, 'cause, you know, now it really is one.
: '''Caesar''': We've developed new techniques for working with EVOs. It's all about understanding them better.
: '''Rex''': So, you're some sort of &quot;EVO whisperer&quot;?
: '''Caesar''': ''[laughs]'' It's a bit more complicated than that. You sure you're okay? ''[sighs]'' It's good to have you back, brother.
: '''Black Knight''': Family ties. They transcend even time itself.
: '''Rex''': Caesar's not my only family.
: '''Black Knight''': I'll bring you up to speed on the others. When you went M.I.A., White Knight lost his biggest weapon in the war for EVO containment.
: '''Rex''': Figures that I have to vanish for him to appreciate me.
: '''Black Knight''': White became erratic-- some might say paranoid. Directorate lost faith in his ability to lead.
: '''Rex''': Directorate? I never knew white even had a boss.
: '''Black Knight''': There are, shall we say, layers. I was named as his replacement.
: '''Rex''': Let me guess-- he didn't take it well.
: '''Black Knight''': You could say that.
: '''Providence Agent''': White Knight! Sir! Stand down!
: '''White Knight''': I'd rather go down in flames than see Providence in the hands of the enemy.
: '''Providence Agent''': He's got a bomb! Fall back! All units fall ba--
: '''Rex''': Whoa! That was--
: '''Black Knight''': Your room.
: '''Rex''': Huh? Aww, man! But... Six... Holiday... where--
: '''Black Knight''': Where do you think? They're out looking for you. Agent Six and Holiday took indefinite leave. They've been off the grid ever since. I've attempted to contact them, but no response.
: '''Rex''': Mind if... I give them a ring? Not that I don't trust you.
: '''Black Knight''': But you don't trust me. Natural, given the circumstances. Be my guest. It won't take long, to locate them. Meanwhile, there are many familiar faces who will be glad to hear you're back. Which reminds me... This is everything we salvaged from your room.
: '''Rex''': Huh. Talk about starting over.
: '''Black Knight''': You could you know. There's still a place for you in the--
: '''Rex''': My room. I thought you said it was trashed.
: '''Black Knight''': Rex, wait.
: '''Rex''': What's the matter, Black? This where you're hiding all your evil secrets?
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex''': Um... Wow!
: '''Black Knight''': This entire wing was destroyed in the blast. I had the space... repurposed.
: '''Rex''': White wouldn't even splurge for private stalls.
: '''Black Knight''': As you see, I treat my finest people to the very finest things.
: '''Rex''': Sure. I'll take one of those, please.
: '''Black Knight''': It's yours-- and anything else you'd like.
: '''Rex''': As long as I do whatever you want-- That it?
: '''Black Knight''': On the contrary-- you're a seasoned agent. I have a few boundaries, but otherwise, handle matters as you see fit.
: '''Rex''': Say I refuse.
: '''Black Knight''': Then I turn you over to mel. ''[chuckling]'' I'm kidding. You're free to leave whenever you like. But I hope you'll stay. Now, more than ever, Providence needs a Rex. So, how do you feel? Like I haven't used one of those in Six months-- Which I haven't. You mind? Bobo?
: '''Bobo''': Rex! Heard you were back. So great to see you, buddy. Whoa. Just a sec, there, pal. Gotta love those certain towelettes.
: ''[Bobo whistling]''
: '''Bobo''': What? Never seen a monkey wash his hands before?
: '''Rex''': Not this one.
: ''[Bobo munching]''
: '''Rex''': You wanna tell me what's gotten into you or what?
: '''Bobo''': What are you talking abou-- Unh! Hey!
: '''Rex''': Sorry. For a minute, I thought you were...
: '''Bobo''': Robo Bobo? Wanna check for a tv in my butt?
: '''Rex''': Pass. But come on. You've, I don't know, mellowed or something.
: '''Bobo''': Guess I just don't have a big need to act out these days, what with you and everyone gone. Plus, the employee benefits are pretty sweet.
: '''Black Knight''': Rex, we've got a little EVO problem. Providence could use your help. Ready to get back in the game?
: '''Rex''': If it involves getting out of here, that would be a &quot;yes.&quot; You coming?
: '''Bobo''': I'll join ya on the next one. I got Tai Chi at 2:00.
: '''Rex''': Missing an EVO smackdown? That doesn't sound like you.
: '''Bobo''': Did I mention the instructor has a thing for back hair?
: '''Rex:''' Ew. Okay. That sounds like you. What is it and where do I find it?
: '''Providence Agent''': We've got an EVO in the subway tunnels, people trapped in one of the trains. The power's out down there, too.
: '''Rex:''' Sounds like a street worm. Sure it's just one? Rex to H.Q. Okay, new chief, how do you want to do this?
: '''Black Knight:''' You're the expert.
: '''Rex:''' I am? Uh, I mean, of course I am. It's just that Six usually--
: '''Black Knight:''' You don't need help, Rex. Handle it as you see fit. Black, out.
: '''Rex:''' What's this strange feeling that's come upon me? Could it be...
: ''[Rex shudders]''
: '''Rex''': Responsibility?! Okay. Assemble your guys over there. Be ready for me. Should the guys grab flashlight. Or... better. Not a bad pre-show. Now for the main event.
: '''Providence Agent:''' How did you know?
: '''Rex:''' These things usually travel in pairs. I used lights from my builds to make it think I was another worm. Have your bug net handy. They're so cute after I shut them down.
: '''Rex:''' Sorry B.K. No can cure.
: '''Black Knight:''' Understood. Our team will take it from here.
: '''Rex:''' Um, take what where?
: '''Providence Agent:''' Move into the vehicle! Move... into... the vehicle! Hit her again!
: '''Rex:''' Um, what just happend?
: '''Black Knight:''' That's all for now, Rex. Nicely done.
: '''Rex:''' Hm. Wait. What are you gonna do with it?
: '''Providence Agent:''' Standard rehab and re-lo. It's all very humane.
: '''Rex:''' I'd love to see that. Mind if I tag along?
: '''Black Knight:''' Sorry, Rex. Authorized personnel only. You've done your job. Now let the team theirs.
: '''Rex:''' But--
: '''Black Knight:''' Boundaries, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' Boundaries. Got it. Rex, out.
: '''Caesar:''' Main container reached. Attach stabilizer ring.
: '''Rex:''' Humane? Yeah, right.
: ''[Bobo yawns]''
: '''Bobo:''' See? Great employee benefits.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. Right. Hey, you got a tag sticking out in the back. Mind if I--
: '''Bobo:''' Thanks, pal. Well, off to yoga.
: '''Caesar:''' You really shouldn't be here, hermano.
: '''Rex:''' The petting zoo? The worm? My monkey practicing good hygiene? You're using that thing to control my friend!
: '''Caesar:''' He's still the same Bobo you know and love. He just need a few boundaries.
: '''Rex:''' He's not the same, and neither are you! You should hear yourself!
: '''Caesar:''' Making the world safer isn't possible without some form of control. And you'd better get some control of yourself, mijo.
: '''Rex:''' Or what? You'll use that thing on me?
: '''Caesar:''' Open your eyes to all the good we're accomplishing. Isn't this better than smacking them with your giant fists?
: '''Rex:''' That's combat! I protect people and property! Okay, property, not so much, but this? If you can't see the difference, then maybe I never knew you at all!
: '''Caesar:''' It doesn't matter. I have work to do.
: '''Rex:''' So do I!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Uses his Smack Hands to smash everything around him]''
: '''Caesar:''' Rex! Stop!
: '''Black Knight:''' Snooping around, Rex? See, that's another one of my boundaries.
: '''Rex:''' White Knight may have had his issues, but he never resorted to anything like this!
: '''Black Knight:''' I never planned to do this, Rex, but you've become a danger.
: '''Rex''' ''[shocked]'': Caesar! Think! You can't do this!
: '''Caesar:''' Of course I'm thinking. This is the logical conclusion to what we started. 
: '''Rex:''' The logical-- Aaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Raaah! Aah!
: ''[Caesar blasts the mind-control laser, causing Rex to scream and groan in pain]''
: '''Caesar:''' Sorry, Rex. You'll thank me later.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' You... better... believe I will!
: '''Caesar:''' Please don't resist! It's only painful if you struggle!
: '''Black Knight:''' What's taking so long?
: '''Caesar:''' He's fighting it! His nantic energy is spiking off the scale!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Boost power.
: '''Caesar:''' It's not safe to--
: '''Black Knight:''' It's for the best. 
: ''[Caesar increases power, causing Rex's nanites to go haywire as a tear fall down his cheek, heartbroken about his own brother betraying him]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Manages to overpower the mind-control machine, much to the surprise and wonder of Caesar and Black Knight]''
: '''Rex:''' You just drew a line in the sand, bro! ''[runs off]''
: '''Black Knight:''' You'd better have a backup.
: '''Caesar:''' The prototype. Not portable, but more than enough power, even for him.
: '''Black Knight:''' Get it ready.
: '''Rex:''' Unh!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Rex:''' No mood to get slimed right now, mel!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Rex:''' What happened to your EVO control?
: '''Black Knight:''' A demonstration. You know what would happen without our influence.
: '''Rex:''' So, you're hijacking its brain, like you tried to do with mine.
: '''Black Knight:''' That won't be necessary if you'll willingly cooperate.
: '''Rex:''' Translation-- if I do everything you say.
: '''Black Knight:''' You've seen how we can work together. Providence still needs you. There will always be a few EVOs we can't control.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. I'm one of them.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Shall we pursue?
: '''Black Knight:''' Most definitely.
: '''Rex:''' Gangway! Coming through! Huh? No! Huh. Black Pawns. Overdoing the whole theme, don't you think?
: ''[Rex groaning]''
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Yah! I'm getting beat up by the chess club!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Black Knight:''' We... got off on the wrong foot. Stow the hardware and come with us. You have my word you won't be harmed. We can start over-- the right way.
: '''Bobo:''' You mind? You're interrupting the enjoyment of my employee benefits.
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: ''[Rex panting]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Black Knight:''' ''[after Rex was tranquilized]'' Excellent work. Take him to the lab.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex:''' What? No way! You're not turning my brain to mashed potatoes! Doc?!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Welcome back, Rex.
: '''Six:''' Good to see you, kid.
: '''Rex:''' Before I blame this on a Burrito-induced nightmare, will someone please tell me-- What... Is... Going... On?!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' What do you think? We've been looking for you.
: '''Six:''' We knew Providence might find you first. Fortunately, we planted a mole.
: '''Bobo:''' Ehh. Rex! Put 'er there!
: '''Rex:''' Uhh! You didn't wash! Oh! You didn't wash! But that means... that he really was... Robo Bobo?
: '''Bobo:''' In the flesh.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Literally. I gave it a biological upgrade, complete with his own nanites and... fleas, ticks, lice, chigger mites.
: '''Bobo:''' What can I say? I'm an ecosystem.
: '''Six:''' It's enough to fool your brother's equipment. The robot is only providing limited intel. But one thing is sure-- new Providence is about more than just getting Evos off the streets.
: '''Rex:''' I saw it. Whatever they're doing over there is seriously messed up.
: '''Six:''' That's why we've set up our own operation.
: '''Rex:''' Whoa! Where did you get all of this?
: '''Six:''' We have our sources.
: '''Rex:''' So, we're like super secret spies now? Cool!
:''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex:''' It's too bad about White, though. I never thought I'd say it, but I'm gonna miss that pasty guy.
: '''White Knight:''' How touching, Rex. I, on the other hand, would rather enjoyed the last six Rex-free months. Now... if we're done with the love-in, we have work to do.
: '''Rex:''' It really can't get any better than this. Oh, except one thing-- can I get a TV?

===Crash and Burn===
*From this episode, Rex can create two builds at once
:''[Bobo yawns]''
:'''Bobo:''' They say nothin' good happens after midnight. And, you know, they're right.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I'm worried about you, Bobo. Since we left Providence, you've been staying out every night.
:''[Bobo grunts]''
:''[Bobo munching]''
:''[Bobo gulps]''
:'''Bobo:''' That's not the least of your worries. Seen our boy lately?
:''[Dr. Holiday scoffs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex is fine. He just needs time to adjust to our new setting. Rex? It's Holiday. Are you there?
:'''Rex:''' Hey, doc. What up?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Just checking in. Everything okay?
:'''Rex:''' Better than okay. I'm about to set a new land-speed record'
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That wasn't what I meant. How are you feeling?
:'''Rex:''' Appreciate the concern, but the only thing on my mind right now is the need for speed. Apparently, I'm not alone. I'll call you back. Hey! Slow down! I want to talk to you! Ah. You want to play chicken. Doc? Bobo? I'm getting blitzed by some bikers. Aah!
:'''Rand:''' Might as well give up! I won't quit! I'm a relentless, never-say-die, nonstop-- Uh, hey, wait a minute. Who are you?
:'''Rex:''' Think you could have asked me that before trying to run me down?
:'''Rand:''' Ooh! My fault. I thought you were one of us.
:'''Rex:''' &quot;One of us&quot;? What is this?
:'''Rand:''' Sorry, dude. No time to chat. Peace.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, like I'm gonna take that for an answer. A street race? Or a demolition derby?
:''[Lance grunts]''
:''[Lance groans]''
:'''Lance:''' Gonna need a bike.
:'''Rex:''' Can't believe you survive that! You must be the luckiest guy on the-- These are nanites.
:''[Lance groans]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Oh, come on!
:'''Six:''' Something wrong?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Prototypes. I prefer tried-and-tested. And I don't even know what we're going to do with half of this stuff.
:'''Bobo:''' You're goin' soft, gettin' worked over by a bunch of goofballs on motorcycles.
:'''Rex:''' They had weapons.
:'''Bobo:''' Last time I checked, so did you.
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, but not while I'm on my bike. I'm strictly one at a time.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The nanites that have infected his body are slowly poisoning him. I've never seen anything like it.
:'''Rex:''' Do what you can, Doc? I'm gonna go out and look for those racers.
:'''Bobo:''' Sounds dangerous.
:'''Rex:''' Sure, Bobo. You can come, too. The nanites we found on the biker gave off a different energy signature. Gonna use one of Holiday's new toys to try to scan for it. A bunch of them. And they're moving fast.
:'''Bobo:''' Then step on it! Maybe Holiday has a point about prototypes!
:'''Rex:''' Or maybe they're not on the streets. I'll watch the road. You watch the screen.
:'''Bobo:''' Gotta warn you-- Chimps make bad navigators!
:'''Rex:''' Just do it!
:'''Bobo:''' Hmm? Left! You're goin' left! Make a right! Another right!
:'''Rex:''' Which way?
:'''Bobo:''' I don't know! That way-ish! Wah! Like I said-- Monkeys make great navigators! This is your biker gang?
:'''Rex:''' They had weapons before I'm telling you-- They're tough!
:'''Bobo:''' If you say so.
:''[Bobo grunts]''
:'''Bobo:''' Wall.
:''[Bobo and Rex grunts]''
:'''Moss:''' That's some fancy ridin'. You following us, kid?
:'''Rex:''' Still think they don't look tough?
:'''Bobo:''' I take it back.
:'''Moss:''' Who are you, kid? 'Cause whoever you are, you're not bad.
:'''Rand:''' You're awesome! Where'd you learn to ride like that? Anybody with that kind of skill should be with us. Yeah!
:'''Moss:''' What's your secret?
:'''Rex:''' No secret. I'm just built that way.
:'''Lunk:''' Is that guy from TV-- The one who fights EVOs.
:'''Bobo:''' Five bucks for pictures, ten bucks for autographs.
:'''Rand:''' A talking monkey! Outrageous! I gotta have one. Is he for sale?
:'''Bobo:''' Brother, you can't afford me.
:'''Rex:''' You guys seem tight-- For guys who try to kill each other.
:'''Rand:''' We're not killers. We're racers. This is a legitimate sport.
:'''Moss:''' It is what it is. Our races aren't for the weak. Name's Moss. You've met Rand.
:'''Rex:''' He tried to blow me up.
:'''Rand:''' I missed. You're welcome. Come on, don't leave me hangin'.
:'''Moss:''' Never met a celebrity who could ride.
:'''Rex:''' I caught you, didn't I?
:'''Moss:''' But are you tough enough try me?
:'''Rex:''' Try me.
:'''Bobo:''' You gotta fight back?
:'''Rex:''' With what?
:'''Bobo:''' Oh, brother. Fine, leave it to Chimpy. Aah! I'll take that. Phbt!
:'''Rex:''' Something else on the map-- Moving fast! And it's big!
:'''Providence Agent:''' Halt! You kids! Pull over! Now!
:'''Moss:''' Cops!
:'''Bobo:''' Worst than cops-- Providence.
:'''Rex:''' The bikes give off a nanite signature. They must have tracked it.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Rex, what are you doing here?
:'''Rex:''' Research. You don't want to get caught up in this! Back off now! Sorry, guys. Have Black Knight sent me the bill.
:'''Rand:''' Ha! No way! You want to beat me, you gotta step your game up. Aah!
:''[Rand groans]''
:'''Rex:''' Rand!
:'''Bobo:''' Don't stop! Kid's wearing armor. He's fine.
:'''Rex:''' No! Something's wrong!
:''[Rand groans]''
:'''Rex:''' What is this thing? Doc? Get over here quick. We've got another one.
:'''Biker gangs:''' WHOO-HOO-HOO!
:''[Biker gangs laughs]''
:'''Biker gangs:''' Yeah!
:'''Moss:''' We thought you'd bailed on us. Where were you?
:'''Rex:''' Watching a doctor try to save Rand's life.
:'''Moss:''' Racers get sick sometimes. It's part of the life.
:'''Rex:''' Those nanite power sources-- you got to stop using them. To feel one with the road, that rush? So some people get sick. When we're on our rides, nothing else matters.
:'''Rex:''' Your rides are killing you! You're gonna be dead-- All of you! And for what? So you can go a little faster?
:'''Moss:''' We need those things to ride. You know what it's like.
:'''Lunk:''' Please. Don't take our bikes away.
:'''Rex:''' Nobody's going to take your bikes. But I need to know where you got those nanites.
:'''Lunk:''' ''[sighs]'' A guy named Valve. He supplies the superchargers.
:'''Moss:''' You're wasting your time. Valve never talks to anybody.
:'''Rex:''' He'll talk to me.
:'''Bobo:''' Been in a lot of bad biker dives, but this is the worst I've ever seen.
:'''Valve:''' Enter, strangers. The biker will see you now. Please, sit. May I offer you some tea?
:'''Rex:''' I'll pass.
:'''Valve:''' Suit yourself. I find a good cup of tea soothing-- for the body and the soul.
:''[Valve slurps]''
:'''Valve:''' You don't have to tell the biker why you're here. The biker can tell. You wish to buy a supercharger.
:''[Valve slurps]''
:'''Rex:''' Your superchargers are killing people. It's gonna stop.
:''[Valve breathes deeply]''
:'''Valve:''' Hmm. That sounds like a challenge.
:'''Rex:''' Maybe it is. I'll race you for them. If I win, you hand over your entire stockpile.
:'''Valve:''' Shh! Your answer is on the wind.
:'''Rex:''' You're... not right in the head, are you?
:'''Valve:''' When the wind commands, the impossible game must be gamed. The challenge is accepted. We will race for the superchargers. And when the biker wins... It won't matter.
:'''Rex:''' Why is that?
:'''Valve:''' Because you'll be dead. Let the race begin.
:'''Moss:''' This is his own private track. He knows it better than anyone. You can still back out-- Probably.
:'''Rex:''' And let people become poison, like Valve? No. I can take him. Just give me something to hit him with. You guys are walking arsenals. You don't have anything?
:'''Moss:''' You didn't think we'd need 'em today.
:'''Bobo:''' Oh, boy.
:'''Six:''' Message from Holiday. The two sick teens have stabilized, but she's still a ways from finding a cure.
:'''Rex:''' It was the only weapon I could find, okay? Can I borrow the sword?
:'''Six:''' Use your own.
:'''Rex:''' On wheels? It's not gonna happen.
:'''Six:''' What's stopping you?
:'''Rex:''' Well, for one thing, I-- Um, not sure exactly.
:'''Six:''' What have I been teaching you? Focus on what you want and make it happen. No more excuses.
:''[Bobo munching]''
:''[Bobo munching]''
:'''Valve:''' You're lucky. One the very best get a chance at this track.
:'''Rex:''' Then I should fit right in. Rules of the game-- ten laps. Cross the finish line before the biker, and you may have them.
:'''Rex:''' So, is the wind talking to you now?
:'''Valve:''' The wind commands the Biker to destroy you. The Biker is happy to oblige.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Bobo:''' You gonna help him?
:'''Six:''' He's doing fine.
:'''Bobo:''' Are you watchin' the same race I am?
:''[Valve grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' You're in trouble, Rex! No. Keep it together. Keep... it... together. Six said it-- Focus. Focus. Focus!
:''[Valve laughs]''
:'''Valve:''' Oblivion.
:'''Six:''' Like I sad-- He's doing fine.
:'''Rex:''' Double-up! Where have you been all my life?
:''[Valve grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Cute toy. But I like mine better.
:'''Valve:''' Aah!
:'''Rex:''' Was there any doubt?
:'''Bobo:''' Yeah, plenty.
:''[Valve panting]''
:'''Rex:''' We had the deal. Remember?
:'''Valve:''' Like the storm that changes directions on a whim, the biker is changing the deal. 'Cause the biker-- ''[grunts]'' Doesn't like! ''[grunts]'' The biker-- ''[grunts]'' never loses! ''[grunts]'' Unh!
:'''Rex:''' First time for everything. Thank you, Six.
:'''Six:''' It was all you, kid.
:'''Moss:''' Rand!
:'''Biker gangs:''' Oh, Rand! Good to see you!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Completely detoxified. In a couple days, they'll be back to full strength. Those could be useful at the new base.
:'''Moss:''' You can't stop us from riding.
:'''Rex:''' What's stopping you? You can still ride. You just won't be poisoned by nanites. Come on. Race you back to the garage.
:''[Rex rides off]''
:'''Moss:''' ''[Chasing after Rex]'' You heard the man. Hit it!
:'''Six:''' You do realize we just turned a group of reckless teenage boys loose on the city.
:'''Bobo:''' All in a day's work.

===Heroes United, Part 1===
:'''Caesar:''' Now where are you? So it ''is'' you. This is most disturbing.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Ben:''' You know the friend you care about!? Well, I have a cousin, a grandfather, a best friend that I care about!! They don't exist here! I may never see them again! I'm totally alone! So go ahead! Do your worst.
: '''Rex:''' Maybe we can help each other.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' I'm curious how big brother knows about something from a parallel dimension.
: '''Caesar:''' Because I sent it there. In the early days of the Nanite Project, our goal was simple. Construct microscopic machines to cure diseases, grow new cells, regenerate bones. They was a control issue. Some thought a human-machine link was the answer. Others proposed that the machines control themselves. I was in latter cam. I developed the Alpha to control other nanites. To maximize its effectiveness, I had to program Alpha to think for itself. 
:'''Ben:''' Does a low explanation mean something bad on your Earth too?
:'''Rex:''' Yep.
:'''Caesar:''' Alpha developed its own consciousness. It evolved into a unique life-form. It wanted a body, but whatever it built burned out. So when Alpha attempted possessing living this, Alpha had to be eliminated. So I built a dimensional disruptor.
:'''Ben:''' Looks like a Null Void gun. We got some like those back home, too.

===Heroes United, Part 2===
:'''Alpha:''' The nanites in those creatures. They are different, powerful. Your nanites are weak. I have no use for you. Where is the boy?
:'''Holiday:''' His nanites are off limits!!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' My brother!? Look around! He's not here!
:'''Alpha:''' The father is redundant. Now that I found you.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Alpha:''' I cannot merge! What makes you so special, human? Yes. You shelter an Omega.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''White Knight:''' Don't let it get to Rex! If it drains his nanites-!
:'''Diamondhead:''' Game over. I get it.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex''': My most powerful builds came from the Omega nanite. A lot of people are going to get hurt and I can't stop it. What happens when the best you can do just isn't enough?
:'''Ben''': You get an Upgrade.
:'''Rex:''' Weren't you listening? Alpha has the Omega.
:'''Ben:''' I'm not talking about a nanite.
:(''Transforms into Upgrade'')
:'''Rex''':  Hey, what are you- ''[Upgrade merges with Rex]'' Whoa, okay, that feels weird. ''[Upgrade covers Rex's body like a suit]'' Wow, what supposed to happen now? ''[Upgrade's head appears on Rex's left shoulder]'' Uh...don't do that, you freaking me out!
:'''Upgrade''': Build something!
:'''Rex''': ''[Builds a Smack Arm, which is modified by Upgrade]'' Sweet, so what's the plan?
:'''Upgrade''': You build stuff, I make it better. Fight fight fight, we win!
:'''Rex''':  Works for me! ''[Rex builds a Boogie Pack and blasts off]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Alpha''': Organics who rely on machines for their power, I don't need. The machines themselves, now those I will have.
===Phantom of the Soap Opera===
:'''Rex Salazar:''' In a world he never chose and barely understands... ''[Rex looks over the countryside from a cliff, jumps and lands in a snow scene]'' One incredibly good looking guy fights for us all. His name...you know it baby...Rex. ''[jumps into a lake scene]'' Forget train wrecks... ''[punches]'' And car wrecks... ''[kicks]'' Nothing brings the pain like this Rex. ''[runs into city scene. EVO walks down street, Rex runs up, jumps, grabs EVO's head and tears it off. Holds it over his head in victory gesture.]''
:'''Actor in costume:''' Yeah, yeah, that's hilarious kid.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Ah, anytime you want to stop trying to get me fired get back to the tour.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Sorry. Got caught up in the moment.
:'''Actor in costume:''' Ah, dude?
:''[Rex puts head back on the man in EVO costume.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' And on your left, the sound stage where they make the hit TV show Middle School Talent show.
:''[Teen girls on tour squeal and run towards it.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' That's a closed set. ''[Noah pulls on his hair]'' C'mon, this is my first week as a page, I could lose my job!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I got this. ''[pulls girls back from stage with turbines]'' I just don't get girls, how come they get so... ''[notices something behind Noah, acts all excited]'' Huh hu oh huh... oh El Amor de la Pasion del Amor! Why didn't you tell me EADLPDA was made here?
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Um, probably because I didn't really believe you actually still watch a soap opera.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' It's a telenovela. The actresses are smoking hot. And I don't have cable?...ah c'mon dude don't be a hater. ''[crosses arms]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Whatever. We're not going in there, they get like ten safety violations a week, no one's allowed in accept crew and studio staff.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' You mean like pages? ''[Brushes Noah's shoulder with his hand, smiling. Noah brushes his hand away.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' No way. My boss is a total butt-buster for the rules and she is always watching. ''[makes binocular with his hands]''
:'''Head Page:''' You got that right bub. ''[Rex looks behind him, and jumps away]'' By the way Page, you lose something? ''[has three girls from Noah's tour group tied up in a rope]'' Found these wandering over by Middle School Talent Show. ''[Noah runs over and unties them, rope falls]''
:'''Head Page:''' ''[points to her left eye]'' I got my one good eye on you, Nixon.
:''[On set of telenovela]''
:''[Isabella crying]''
:'''Reymundo:''' Pensabas que yo era tu marido. ¡Pero fue una mentira! Pero la verdad es que soy Reymundo, el hermano diabólico de Reynaldo.
:'''Isabella:''' Yo sé, pero todavía te amo.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[standing by salad bar in cafeteria looking up at TV screen]'' How can anyone say that's not great!
:''[Man in cowboy hat tips his hat to Noah]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Whoa? Celebrities know you?
:''[There are drinks on their trays at this point, then in the next frame there are no drinks on their trays and they go over to get drinks.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' The only one here who knows my name is my boss. I'm just a newb on an internship.
:''[Blond girl puts her hand on Noah's shoulder and reaches across him to get a soda, walks away, looks back and gives him a finger gun.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Yeah right, you just got a finger gun from TV weather lady Summer Sonnenshine.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' It's the page jacket not me, if you put this thing on everyone would think you work here. Still. I gotta admit it's pretty cool.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Y'know, I didn't even know you'd applied for this. But I guess when you jump ahead in time you gotta expect some surprises...OH MY GOSH... ''[drops tray]'' It's Isabella, from El Amor del Pasion del Amor.
:''[Rex throws up his arms, knocks tray into Noah's chest spilling it all over his jacket]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' AHHH!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I know she's even hotter in real life than she is on the...
:'''Noah Nixon:''' ''[looks down at tray and jacket]'' Ohhhhh...
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Okay, okay don't worry...
:'''Head Page:''' ''[yelling at another page behind Rex]'' You call yourself a page!
:'''Rex:''' Okay worry. ''[puts his fingers together]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' This is a huge violation of the dress code, oh I am so fired!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No you're not. Come on, move!
:''[They run to a supply closet.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' I've gotta lead another tour in 45 minutes. We can't get to a dry cleaners and back in 45 minutes.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' This is my bad, but I can fix this. ''[Noah panicking, rocking and hyperventilating]'' We just have to calm down and think. Just calm down. ''[Rex points at Noah]'' Noah, calm down!
:''[Rex grabs a bottle of pickles off the shelf, opens the lid and throw contents of jar at Noah's head. A pickle ends up in Noah's mouth, he spits it out.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Not helping. ''[Noah, calm now and not hyperventilating and rocking, wipes pickle juice out of his eyes.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Okay, listen we passed the wardrobe department on the tour, they've gotta have a washer and dryer right?
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Uh... yeah, I guess?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Alright, good, give me your outfit and stay put, I'll take care of everything else.
:''[Scene change. Sign which says laundry stages commissary.]''
:''[Rex runs towards laundry, passes stage of telenovela. Grins and stops. Looks into open door. Looks down at soiled jacket. Up at stage doorway. Walks away. Runs back and grins bigger. Walks into stage with Noah's jacket on.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh...
:'''Isabella:''' Finally! You are here!
:''[Isabella kisses Rex all over his face.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' This is happening, right? I'm not going to wake up and be making out with my pillow again am I?
:'''Isabella:''' Come with me, they want to cancel us you know. That's why the studio puts us here in this place falling apart with all the accidentes.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Soap operas do not get the respect they deserve.
:'''Isabella:''' You are very wise for your age. We don't even go backstage anymore. Too dangerous.
:''[A silhouette of a rat is seen, it squeaks]''
:'''Beatriz:''' Is that our page?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh...
:''[Rex falls]''
:'''Isabella:''' He's mine, I saw him first!
:''[Rex gets up and Isabella grabs him.]''
:'''Isabella:''' He is mine!!!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hum?
:'''Beatriz:''' Why don't we let him decide?
:'''[Rex is being pulled back and forth]''
:'''Isabella:''' You would like that wouldn't you?
:'''Beatriz:''' Yes I would! Very much.
:'''Isabella:''' Fine.
:''[Girls growl at each other and walk away.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[grinning]'' Did they just cat-fight over me?
:''[The girls come back with lists.]''
:'''Isabella:''' Here is a list of what I need you to do!
:'''Beatriz:''' And here's mine!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' You want me to work on the show?
:'''Beatriz:''' Claro que si, we haven't had a page on set in ages.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' But I'm not ... ''[looks over the girls]'' ...able to think of one reason why I would pass this up.
:''[Screen cuts to Noah looking out the door. He sees the chief page and closes the door quickly, after that, the scene changes back to Rex carrying boxes of water with yogurt on top.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I got your yogurt, but I couldn't find the water you wanted. So I got these.
:'''Isabella:''' You are dead to me! But I will take this one. ''[takes yogurt]''
:''[Rex stares in shock and drops the boxes full of water.]''
:''[Old man walks in a dressing room, and Reynaldo comes out soon later.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Whoa, it's Reynaldo! Uh, coffee? ''[offers him a mug of coffee]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' Gracias.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Leche?
:'''Reynaldo:''' How dare you! I am lactose intolerant.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh, okay, didn't know that. Sugar?
:''[Reynaldo knocks the sugar out of his hand.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' Real men take their coffee strong and hot. Are you suggesting that I am not a real man?
:''[Rex looks around and the phone rings.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Rex, where are you?
:'''Reynaldo:''' No phone! ''[Reynaldo knocks the phone out of his hand.]'' You will talk to me face to face. Mano a mano! ''[grabs Rex's jacket]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey wait what are you... ''[Reynaldo pulls Rex away from table. Stage light falls where Rex was standing]'' ...Oh, thanks!
:''[Everyone runs up to them.]''
:'''Beatriz:''' Not another accidente!
:'''Isabella:''' ''[scared]'' Ay. Dios mio! No!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' It's okay, I'm fine.
:'''Isabella:''' ''[pushes Rex down]'' My jogurt!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I'd hate to be the guy that has to clean that up... ''[whispers to man though they look at him]'' Oh. ''[Reynaldo hands him the mop.]''
:'''Beatriz:''' If I didn't know better, I'd say that someone was trying to kill us.
:'''Reynaldo:''' Someone is. The head of the studio is trying to kill our soap opera. That's why he put us in this accursed stage, with all these accidentes. But we... ''[another stage light falls and hits his head, he falls to the ground]'' Aahh... Por que? Ay.
:''[Rex looks up and sees a mongoose...runs after it...goes backstage. Sees clowns and a sign saying “Mongo”.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Ugh! Clowns.
:''[The mongoose squeaks.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Lemme guess. You're the one who's been causing all the accidents.
:''[Mongo growls, bears teeth]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Okay, let's say we can wrap this up quietly. Last thing I need is someone wondering why the guy in the page jacket can do this. ''[wraps Mongo up in the whip thing, Mongo gets tiny, escapes, growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Guess that explains how you've been able to hide out back here. ''[Mongo pulls lever cannon comes out of floor and fires at Rex. Platform falls Rex dodges. Mongo squeaks]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Can we please do this a little more quietly and with a lot less YOU trying to kill me?
:''[Mongo jumps into the “O” of his name on the sign.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Wait, that's you, isn't it? You just want your job back. I can help you. ''[reaches in and tries to cure him Mongo runs out and traps Rex's hand]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Enough with the booby traps, I'm trying to help you. ''[Mongo sets off another trap]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uh-oh. [makes big fist, weight on rope swings and hits Rex, makes noise]
:'''Beatriz:''' What's going on back there?
:'''Isabella:''' Where is that page? I am beginning to wonder ...HOW LONG IS IT GOING TO TAKE FOR HIM TO CLEAN UP MY JOGURT!!!!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[Getting thrown around back stage]'' Ouch. ''[gets beat up by mechanical clowns]''
:''[Mongo cuts stars from ceiling they fall and cut Rex's jacket]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Ok, New plan-- First I smash your face, then I cure you.
:''[Mongo knocks over equipment]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No. ''[grabs equipment, Mongo jumps on his arm, punches him and he falls]'' Oww! Look out!
:''[Actors run from set, Rex falls and smashes set]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Uhh, okay here's the deal—all the accidents you've been having they were caused by an EVO backstage. It used to be a mongoose and now it wants it's old job back. ''[last wall of stage set falls behind him]''
:'''Beatriz:''' What are jou talking about?
:'''Isabella:''' We just saw you ruin our set.
:'''Reynaldo:''' You are trying to destroy this soap opera just like the rest of them! It is true what they say, this sound stage must be cursed for us to have such a horrible page such as you, Senior... ''[looks at name badge]'' Noah Nixon.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Whoa, wait. This isn't Noah's fault.
:''[Three actors gasps]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' ''[tears off his own shirt]'' Now you insult us by talking about yourself in the third person! Somehow we must rebuild and finish our shoot! But as soon as we do, Noah Nixon, I will have you fired!
:''[Workers fixing set, Rex's phone rings.]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Rex! Finally. How's the jacket?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Umm. Well, the good news is you won't notice the stain anymore. Hey uh, by the way, your page training, did it include anything about the creepy backstage in studio B?
:'''Noah Nixon: What? Why are you--
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No reason. I was just thinking, hypothetically, what would happen if I used your jacket to take a quick peek at the telenovela and ended up chasing some killer EVO mongoose? Hypothetically... Uh...Noah?
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Sorry, just trying to figure out how to tell my parents I have no future.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey I got this. I hit a little snag. Just keep your pants on.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' ''[sitting the maintenance closet in his underwear]'' Heh!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Sorry, look, you don't have anything to worry about all I have to do is catch the EVO before they finish shooting and clear my... your name.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' You know what? I'm not worried. I am completely resigned to the fact that I am losing my job. ''[Noah hangs up on Rex. Rex hears dial tone.]''
:'''Beatriz:''' ''[to Reynaldo]'' You are bleeding!
:'''Reynaldo:''' What I am is an actor! We must shoot this scene. We cannot let them cancel us! ''[moans and falls on his face crushing a chair]''
:'''Beatriz:''' You cannot go on.
:'''Isabella:''' If only there were someone else here who knows our show, is fluent in Spanish, and will do a scene in which he kisses me.
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I'll do it!!!
:'''Reynaldo:''' You? The one who ruined our set and lied about the EVO? I'd rather die! But then, my life will surely end if the show is canceled, so maybe... But no! It's impossible. But yet, what is more impossible than a dream. Nothing means more than my dream of saving this telenovela!
:'''Rex Salazar:''' So, is that a--
:'''Reynaldo:''' Si. You will be our savior. And then I will have you fired. Accion!
:''[Rex is dressed as Reynaldo. Takes Isabella in his arms and looks deep into her eyes, smiles..then turns away, sees Mongo and gasps. Isabella pulls his face back to her and puckers for a kiss. Mongo squeaks and runs out the door and Rex turns his eyes towards it.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[thinking]'' Okay no kiss, but you're gonna save Noah's job! ''[groans]'' Nope. Doesn't make it any better. ''[Runs out Isabelle runs after him, trips on his wig and falls to the ground gasping, reaching after him]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[makes Rex Ride to chase Mongo down alley. Runs into a set. Falls]'' Where'd you go?
:'''Guy in suit:''' You! Page! Take this script to post, pronto.
:'''Rex Salazar: Hey wait, I'm not--
:'''Guy in suit:''' Oh? You're not going to do it? Are you talking back to me Mr.... Nixon?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' No. Mr. Nixon is not definitely not talking back to whoever you are. ''[takes script, leaves]''
:'''Guy in suit:''' Nixon! ''[Points in the other direction of where Rex was going. Rex goes where he's pointing]''
:''[Rex walks by alley hears Mongo munching garbage, sneaks up, tries to cure it. It escapes, Rex corners it in dead end alley]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Oh you're not so tough when you can't hide, are you? ''[Mongo growls and grows huge]'' Oh so you can do that too. ''[Mongo roars, swipes at Rex with claws]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey, watch the jacket. I'm in enough trouble already. ''[Sets down scripts. Big fists. Mongo shrinks to escape. Rex falls to the ground. Mongo gets huge again behind him, tries to stomp on Rex, Rex rolls out of the way, Mongo shrinks and runs away, Rex climbs out of hole in ground breathing heavily and falls to ground.]''
:'''Guy in suit:''' ''[walks up]'' Are you kidding me? You still haven't delivered that script? ''[Rex runs off]''
:'''Guy in suit:''' Nixon! ''[points in other direction, Rex runs that way]''
:''[Mongo jumps off roof grows huge lands on Rex, grabs script.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Hey, gimme that! ''[grabs Mongo with big fist throws him into a stage building]''
:''[Rex looks in the hole into the stage.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Sorry. ''[runs off after Mongo]''
:''[Mongo throws him higher than the roof tops, Rex lands on big feet, Mongo tackles him. Rex lands in front of the post building, grabs remains of script out of Mongo's mouth. Mongo runs away, Rex gathers script remains and hands it to man at post door.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' I think this is for you. ''[runs after Mongo]''
:''[Phone rings]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Did you catch it?
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Not yet, but I delivered a script for you, well, most of it.
:'''Noah Nixon:''' I am so dead.
:'''Lady with clipboard:''' ''[grabs Rex by the collar]'' Noah Nixon, you're right on time for your two p.m. tour. ''[Gives Rex clipboard and keys]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' ''[Driving tram with tourists]'' Uh, there's a building where some TV shows are made and there's another one and oh great there's the giant killer EVO.
:''[Mongo chasing tram, Rex steps on gas. Tram goes sloooow. Mongo attacks tram. Rex lands, catches tourists with big hands, flies off on hoverboard]''
:'''Tourist:''' They had better special effects at my kids' school play.
:''[Back on soap opera stage]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' I need a bigger reaction from you. Bigger!
:''[Rex crashes through ceiling with Mongo hanging on the bottom of his hoverboard, heading towards Isabella.]''
:''[Isabella screams and covers head, Mongo crashes into set]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' Yes! That's it exactly!
:''[Mongo growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' Be careful or you're gonna get the hand. ''[big fists with right hand. Mongo jumps at him, Rex grins and raises his left hand and cures Mongo. Mongo lays on ground cute and unconscious.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' That's not the hand I meant.
:''[Actors, stunned, applaud]''
:''[Rex picks up Mongo.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' You are a good page, Noah Nixon.
:''[Mongo wakes up runs around on Rex and perches on his shoulder cutely.]''
:''[At supply closet with Noah, Rex walks in holding torn up jacket]''
:'''Noah Nixon:''' Oh, my jacket! ''[Cuddles jacket, then holds it up and glares at Rex through the hole in it. Rex grins guiltily.]''
:''[Head Page walks in, Noah hides jacket, then realizes he is in underwear and tries to hide himself behind jacket.]''
:'''Head Page:''' I got a dozen calls from all over the lot about you, Nixon. I don't know what you were thinking. ''[He sits down, sweat runs down his face, he closes his eyes, frowns, runs head away. Head page grabs him and hugs him.]''
:'''Head Page:''' I'm proud of you, kiddo! It took me sixty seven years to make chief page. I bet you'll get the job in half that time. ''[Noah stands up holding jacket in front of him. Rex and Noah look puzzled Head Page walks to door, turns back]''
:'''Head Page:''' Oh and them soap opera fellas, eh, they got a special reward for you. ''[they look at each other with puzzled frowns]''
:''[Telenovela stage, Noah dressed as Reynaldo. Isabella kisses him.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' And cut! You look differante than you did before, Noah Nixon. ''[Noah looks up at his blond eyebrows and takes off the wig and mustache. Smiles at Reynaldo. Reynaldo looks at him thoughtfully.]''
:'''Reynaldo:''' I can see you've been to makeup. Good you finally look like a real man! ''[Noah smiles.]''
:'''Rex Salazar:''' [peeking in from backstage, makes a jealous face as Noah is laughing together with the actors.] It's OK, it's OK. You're a good friend, you're a good friend.
:'''Guy in suit:''' You! Quit talking to yourself and get me some coffee! ''[Rex runs off]'' Nixon!
:''[Mongo looking down from rafters]''

===Riddle of the Sphinx===
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' They uncovered the tunnel during routine sewer work. No one has set foot in here in over 3.500 years.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Providence doesn't work the location yet?
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' ''[laughs]'' The antiquities comission does not like this Black Knight. They keep her busy with much paperwork.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The maze looks like it extends for miles. They do that to keep looters out?
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' Or to keep something in.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Anything that was trapped in here couldn't be alive after all this time.
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' I-I-I must go.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''': Watch out! Bobby traps.
:'''Egyptian Guide:''' That's not what I'm afraid of.
:'''Bobo:''' It's only been a few days since we heard from Holiday.
:'''Six:''' Something's wrong.
:'''Bobo:''' Maybe she wanted a vacation from you clowns. &quot;Something's wrong.&quot;
:''[Bobo grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Providence! She in is trouble.
:'''Six:''' Black Knight. And she has your better half.
:'''Bobo:''' I'm predictin' an awkward situation.
:'''Black Knight:''' Hello, Rex. If you came for your friend, I'll have to disappoint you.
:'''Rex:''' That hairy creep? You can keep the traitor. Hey! My faithful guide, why don't you go away while we discuss business?
:'''Bobo:''' It's me, you dopey tin can! Beat it! Or the boss lady's gonna get wise to our little switcheroo.
:'''Rex:''' What's the campout for?
:'''Black Knight:''' Routine scientific research.
:'''Rex:''' Look, I know Holiday was here. What'd you do with her?
:'''Black Knight:''' We arrived an hour ago. The locals say Holiday unleashed a monster down in the tunnels. The situation's under control. As soon as we've secured the tunnels, I'll send a team in to see if she's still alive.
:'''Rex:''' I'm going with you.
:'''Black Knight:''' You're going nowhere. You quit Providence. Unless you're recosindering?
:'''Rex:''' Come on, guide. Holiday's in those tunnels. But Black Knight has a whole battalion of Providence goons guarding the entrance.
:'''Six:''' I figured she'd be no help. That's why I found someone who knows a back way in.
:'''Egyptian Cooker:''' The Kushari is healthy. For the stomach, good.
:'''Rex:''' Enough about the Kushari! Where's the back entrance?
:'''Egyptian Cooker:''' For so young, you in such a hurry. And old cook like me, I live by selling Kushari. Why not buy some? You buy, I give you more information.
:'''Bobo:''' Ah, come on. Stop bein' so stingy. Buy some more.
:'''Six:''' Where's the back entrance?
:'''Egyptian Cooker:''' The sewer man-- They came to fix a leak. They found the tunnel to the entrance in my basement.
:'''Bobo:''' Mmm!
:'''Rex:''' Way cool! Maybe we'll see some mummies!
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex:''' Tell us where Holiday is!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Where do you think I am?
:'''Six:''' Holiday!
:'''Bobo:''' So, what's with the halloween get up, doc?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I found it in one of the chambers. Scares off the curious. I need to get to the bottom of all this before Black Knight.
:'''Rex:''' The bottom of what? This is all ancient history?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You can this ancient history?
:'''Rex:''' That looks like a nanite!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' That's because it is a nanite.
:'''Six:''' How could they have knowledge back then?
:'''Rex:''' Aliens! Like the ones that built the pyramids.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' None of this is more advanced that the 21st century. It's not aliens. I think the answers lie behind this door. But I can't figure out how to open it.
:'''Rex:''' Open the door? No problem, Doc!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Stop! This whole place is booby-trapped. We open this wrong, they'll bring the tunnels down on us.
:'''Rex:''' If there's a wrong way to open it, then that means there's a right way, too. Maybe the nanite picture is a clue. The whole thing is rigged like one. Told you-- No prob. Whoa, mumies.
:'''Bobo:''' What are you lookin' at, beautiful?
:'''Rex:''' Ha! Awesome! I'd love to see the look on Knight's face when she finds out we've beat her here.
:'''Black Knight:''' Then let me step a little closer so you can see.
:'''Six:''' How'd you find us?
:'''Black Knight:''' Your mole helped me.
:'''Bobo:''' Sorry, pal.
:'''Black Knight:''' I should have known better. It's old junk from the dead.
:''[Black Knight gasps]''
:'''Guranset:''' Gharun Set is not dead.
:'''Rex:''' Put her down!
:'''Black Knight:''' This isn't the time for violence. Our host has forgotten his manners. I presume he hasn't had guests in a long time.
:'''Guranset:''' Almost an eternity. Gharun Set said has waited for his release. Awaken this cursed prison through the ages.
:'''Black Knight:''' You speak English. That is interesting. Who taught your own language, Gharun Set?
:'''Guranset:''' I was taught by the great father.
:'''Black Knight:''' Father? What did he look me?
:'''Guranset:''' He is dead-- As all of you soon shall be!
:'''Black Knight:''' Now's the time for violence.
:'''Guranset:''' Aah!
:'''Black Knight:''' A nanite disrupter. Something I had your brother's lab whip up. It's quite lethal.
:'''Rex:''' Looks like the lab forgot to tell him that.
:'''Guranset:''' The boy controls the engines of life? It can't be. I laid low the armies of six kingdoms, swordsman. You think your tiny blades can stop me?
:'''Rex:''' Try this one for size!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex!
:'''Rex:''' Huh?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' His staff is a nanite disrupter. Get it away from him.
:'''Rex:''' Easier said than done!
:'''Guranset:''' Haah!
:'''Rex:''' Oh, mummies!
:'''Bobo:''' Yeah, yeah, you got your mummies. I hope you're happy!
:'''Six:''' Rex! We can handle this! He's getting away!
:'''Guranset:''' One last trap to keep me imprisoned, father. Nothing will keep me from my destiny! You serve his plan, child, and don't even know it.
:'''Rex:''' Everybody talk weird in ancient Egypt, or it is just your special thing? Uh... are they supposed to do that?
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Guranset:''' Finally! I am free!
:'''Six:''' These EVO's won't say dead.
:'''Bobo:''' Their breath stinks, too! Ah, boy!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' You could thank me for saving your life.
:'''Black Knight:''' Dr. Holiday, our lives are not safe yet.
:'''Guranset:''' I am not alone. Together, we shall reconquer this land, and then.. the world!
:'''Rex:''' Uh, I think the sun's baked him loopy. You can't reanimate that. It's a statue.
:'''Guranset:''' This is not statue, child. It is a tomb. Arise, my mighty steed. Arise, my sphinx!
:'''Rex:''' Providence, this is Rex. You may want to evacuate Cairo.
:'''Guranset:''' This city is a blight upon my kingdom. All shall be as it once was.
:'''Rex:''' I'm warning you, Gharun Set-- I don't want to have to get rough with you. Step off the pussycat.
:'''Guranset:''' You presume to tell a pharaoph what to do. Be gone!
:'''Six:''' Holiday. There's something I want to tell you before it's too late.
:'''Bobo:''' Ugh. Hold still! Oh, no.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' All of them. Like the nanites keeping them alive... self-destructed? I'm sorry. What were you going to say?
:'''Six:''' Holiday... I, uh...
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Hold that thought.
:'''Bobo:''' What's it gonna be, the kooky chicks or we go help Rex save the world?
:'''Six:''' Rex probably has this under control. Holiday needs my-- our help.
:'''Bobo:''' Yeah, I can't resist a good catfight either.
:'''Rex:''' Let me handle! This it's too dangerous!
:'''Pilot:''' Black Knight, target sighted. It's riding a 50-foot-tall house cat. Please advise.
:'''Black Knight:''' Do not harm. Contain and capture. We need that specimen.
:''[Black Knight gasps]''
:'''Black Knight:''' Pilot disregard. Last order. Target no longer needed. Destroy. Repeat-- Destroy.
:'''Pilot:''' You're with the lady. Lock and load.
:'''Rex:''' Huh? Whoa! Get out of here! I don't know what he's up to, but it's not good.
:'''Garunset:''' Behold the majesty of my dream. My kingdom! My paradise!
:'''Rex:''' Whoa!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' What is this place?
:'''Black Knight:''' It's the stuff of legends. The fabled hall of records which lay hidden beneath where the sphinx once was.
:'''Bobo:''' &quot;Was&quot;?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' This can't be! That's the helix splitter. And that looks like a nano-flux inducer. Caesar built the first prototype of one last year.
:'''Black Knight:''' I can't let you touch any of this. It's too unstable with age. When you blundered in the tomb, you set off a safeguard. Someone thought this room too dangerous for the world to know about.
:'''Bobo:''' Agreed. Let's scram!
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' We can't! Don't you know what this means to science? The knowledge in here is invaluable. It cannot be lost-- Again!
:'''Black Knight:''' It won't be! Now that we know where it is, we can dig it out later. We will study it. I promise you that.
:'''Six''': Holiday. Let it go.
:'''Guranset''': As father promised-- I will rule forever.
:'''Rex''': Forever is gonna be shorter than you think.
:'''Guranset''': No! Nooooo!
:'''Rex''': Aw, come on! I didn't hit you that hard!
:''[Guranset gasps]''
:'''Rex''': What's happening to you?
:''[Guranset gasps]''
:'''Guranset''': Aaaaaaaaah!
:''[Guranset grunts]''
:'''Guranset''': Do not touch your pharaoh.
:'''Rex''': You need help. Your nanites are dying of old age-- I think. It's like starting an old car. Uh, o-or a camel. Let me help you. I can fix your nanites, and then maybe--
:'''Guranset''': Lies!
:'''Rex''': You're in a strange time, a strange place. We have science, machines. We can help you. Trust us.
:'''Guranset''': Like you trust the woman you call Black Knight? I see now this is a world of lies. You and I have no place in it. Father told me of you... Rex.
:'''Rex:''' What? How do you know my--
:'''Guranset''': I would have helped the world. Ended the hunger, the wars. But now he will return. Avenge me. ''[Echoing]'' I see now this is a world of lies. You and I have no place in it.
&lt;hr width80/&gt;
:'''Black Knight:''' You wanted something?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' The hall of records-- You can't keep it a secret. It must be studied. That hall--
:'''Black Knight:''' What hall?
:'''Rex:''' Why'd you do that?! Holiday said--
:'''Black Knight:''' Some secrets are best left buried under the sands, Rex.
:''[Dr. Holiday grunts]''
:'''Black Knight:''' Gentleman. Dr. Holiday.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six, what'd you want to tell me back in the tomb?
:'''Six:''' It can wait.
:'''Rex:''' Don't wait too long.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' All those priceless artifacts. And we still don't know who created Gharun Set.

===Guy vs. Guy===
:'''Rex:''' This means war.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Double Vision===
: ''[The episode starts as a butterfly flies through plants in a flower shop. Suddenly, Rex is thrown into the shop window, making nearby civilians run away. Rex gets up and looks out of the broken glass, seeing a beastly plant EVO, a few people watching, and Agent Six slashing his swords around to evade the EVO's tentacles.]''
: '''Rex:''' ''[Pants and brushes leaves off his sleeve and puts on goggles.]'' Not bad!
: ''[Uses the Punk Busters to jump out of the shop and generates his Smack Hands to uppercut the EVO, causing it to crash into a nearby building.]'' But I'm better!
: ''[The EVO gets out of the glass windows and roars, attacking Agent Six.]''
: '''Agent Six:'''	''[Cuts off a tentacle and walks towards Rex.]'' Talk is cheap, Rex. Prove it.
: '''Rex:''' ''[Generating the Smack Hands.]'' No problemo.
: ''[The EVO rushes towards Rex, unfortunately, Rex grabs it and slams it onto the ground. A random girl is driving up the road on a moped. However, she is stopped as the EVO blocks the path.]''
: '''Rex:''' ''[Putting his hands up to assure the girl.]'' Nothing to worry about, I've got this handled. ''[Turns to EVO, whom is still on the floor.]'' Okay big guy, say adiós to those nasty nanites.
: '''Rex:''' ''[Rex kneels down to cure the EVO, flowers spout out of the EVO]'' Aw, for me? Does this mean we're dating?
: ''[Suddenly, the flowers shoot out some goo into Rex's face, making him slam onto the floor, a crowd forms around the battle.]''
: '''Rex:''' ''[Yelps while getting up and pulls his goggles off and wipes the goo off his face.]'' Oh, that's better. ''[He gives his goggles to the random female on the moped]'' Hey! Watch these for me. ''[Runs back into battle and generates the Punk Busters and kicks the blacked out EVO over a building.]'' Goal! Hey thanks for holding onto my...huh?...
: ''[Rex turns around to see the girl missing from the crowd. Deforming his Punk Busters, he spots the girl riding away on her moped. She turns to look back at Rex, appearing to have on his goggles.]''
: '''Rex:''' Goggles!
: ''[Rex puts one of his hands up to signal for her to wait, but the EVO returns and wraps its tentacle around Rex's neck. The EVO twists Rex in mid-air in the sky for a minute before slamming him onto the cement. Rex gets up and sees the goggle girl riding away out of sight.]''
: '''Rex:''' Hey! You've got my...ungh...goggles... Aah! Ungh! Did you see that girl?! She stole my goggles!
: '''Agent Six:''' Priorities, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' They are my priority, Six. I can pound EVOs any day. Those goggles are-- Ah, great. Who invited her?
: '''Black Knight:''' Stand down, gentlemen. We've got this covered.
: '''Rex:''' We don't need any help. Whoa! Whoa! Ungh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Obviously. Control collar-- Now. We'll take it from here.
: '''Rex:''' Take it from whe-e-re?! I've already got this under contro-o-o-o-l! Whoa! Ugh! Let me try to cure it.
: '''Black Knight:''' The new Providence protocol is to confine, constrain and control. If curing is an option, it will be considered-- At my discretion.
: '''Rex:''' Control? I can cure it now and end this.
: '''Black Knight:''' The offer still stands. If you want to come back to Providence, you can continue your mission.
: '''Rex:''' I have my mission!
: '''Black Knight:''' Curing every EVO on Earth isn't a mission, Rex. It's an impossibility.
: '''Rex:''' Watch me.
: '''Black Knight:''' Everybody back! Contain those seedlings!
: '''Rex:''' You just made it worse! Now I've got to clean up your mess. Starting with this guy. See? Fearing works!
: '''Black Knight:''' It was your actions that exacerbated this situation. I want full containment and control over those seedlings. Move out-- Now.
: '''Agent Six:''' While you were arguing, Holiday found another sprout. Let's go deal with that before Providence does.
: '''Rex:''' But-- My goggles!
: '''Agent Six:''' Focus, Rex. We've got work to do.
: '''Rex:''' Nice work!
: '''Agent Six:''' Drop in the bucket. Look below.
: '''Rex:''' Wow. And I thought I'd be able to knock off early today.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' On the contrary, Rex. By overlaying current worldwide wind patterns on top of international population centers, we're looking at total global infestation within thirty-eight hours.
: '''Bobo:''' Ooh, that's a lot of roughage.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' I need to get in the field and obtain some live samples. Bobo and I will meet you at the rendezvous point in the mobile command center.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, doc. We're almost there. Hey! It's that girl! Wh-o-o-o-oa!
: '''Agent Six:''' What's gotten into you, Rex?
: '''Rex:''' My goggles-- I can't see without them!
: '''Agent Six:''' Obviously, you can see without them.
: '''Rex:''' Well, yeah, but I really need them a lot of the time. Don't you remember when I first got them?
: '''Agent Six:''' Actually, no.
: '''Rex:''' Oh. Sorry. My bad. It was early on, when I was just learning to control my powers. Whoa!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Aaaah! Aah! Aaaaah! Oof!
: '''Agent Six:''' Horse manure.
: '''Rex:''' This is exactly why I need my goggles! Hey! I thought this thing was just a sprout!
: '''Agent Six:''' It's the nature of plants to grow.
: '''Rex:''' Hm. Very Zen of you, Six. Well, it's the nature of me to kick EVO butt! Whoa! Oof! Yuck! This stuff really stinks!
: '''Agent Six:''' All yours.
: '''Rex:''' Ta-da! And for my next trick... Oh, and look who's late to the party.
: '''Black Knight:''' ''[Entering]'' Alpha team, I want you to lay down suppressive fire and--
: ''[Realizing the EVOs not there]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Belay that. Sit Ops, I was told we had a Class-Three EVO situation here. Where is the EVO?
: '''Rex:''' ''[Rex hands her flowers]'' Sorry. This is all that's left. Six, are we good here? I've got to run.
: '''Agent Six:''' I'd put those in water.
: '''Black Knight:''' Unh!
: '''Rex:''' Slow down! I just want to-- Ungh!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex:''' Huh? What?! No way! Hey! You've got my-- Ugh! Whoa! ...Goggles.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You've got bigger problems than a girl on a scooter, Rex. First a flower shop, then gardening supplies. It's getting hungrier. Gentlemen, I suggest you get to the sewage-treatment plant as quickly as possible.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Why?
: '''Agent Six:''' Fertilizer, Rex, as in if those sprouts chow down on that much raw nourishment, we're in some deep...
: ''[Plant EVO bursts through a nearby wall]''
: '''Rex:''' ...Horse maneure. Hungry? Eat this!
: '''Agent Six:''' Holiday, get to the sewage plant. We'll meet you there after we clean up.
: '''Bobo Haha:''' Clean up? I'd rather make a mess! Shoulda brought my chainsaw.
: '''Agent Six:''' Shoot the seedlings!
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Okay, this time I'm going to--
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Hey! Wait! Aw, man! Back off!
: ''[Rex panting]''
: '''Bobo:''' You went a little nuts there, buddy. I like it! But... Goggles?
: '''Rex:''' That EVO interrupted before I could finish the story.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Agent Six:''' Here, kid. Try these on.
: '''Rex:''' Um, so I can look like a total doofus?
: '''Agent Six:''' You have no idea how unique these goggles are, Rex. A reclusive weaponsmith in Zurich crafted this single pair before he turned EVO.
: '''Rex:''' Really? And then what happened to him?
: '''Agent Six:''' I did. He won't be crafting any more goggles.
: '''Rex:''' Cool!
: '''Agent Six:''' These are one-of-a-kind, Rex-- Special, for you.
: '''Bobo:''' What a bunch of chimp chips! Those goggles are-- Whoa!
: '''Rex:''' Wow. That is a lot of rampaging EVO.
: '''Bobo:''' Yeah. Lucky holiday-- She's right in the thick of it.
: '''Rex:''' Lucky?
: '''Bobo:''' She gets to try out all the special modifications I made to that sweet ride.
: ''[Dr. Holiday grunts]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' ''[Plant EVO has Holiday trapped inside the Mobile Command Center]'' Okay. Let's see how you like 10,000 volts of--
: ''[Holiday presses a button, and music starts playing]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Bobo's mix tape?! Who puts the stereo next to the weapons system?! One more time-- Big red button. Always go for the big red button. Unless you don't want to drain the batteries to zero.
: ''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Bobo, your improvements could use some improvements. Rex, if you're not too busy, I'd appreciate a little assistance.
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, ain't that your girlfriend?
: '''Agent Six:''' She can take care of herself, right, Rex?
: '''Rex:''' Right-- For now.
: ''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' That's more like it. Ungh! Fine! Let's see how you like this! I don't know what you just did, Rex, but thanks. Rex?
: '''Black Knight:''' I admit our last encounter didn't end well, but I think we need to work together on this one.
: '''Rex:''' You want to work together? We left Providence, remember?
: '''Black Knight:''' Rex--
: '''Rex:''' What happened to &quot;stay out of my way&quot;?
: '''Black Knight:''' Rex!
: '''Rex:''' So now when you need somebody to take out your trash, you can just forget that I quit your crummy organization?
: '''Black Knight:''' Yes, Rex, I can, because I don't let my emotions guide my choices. I only want what's best for Providence-- And the world.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, cool. Just wanted to hear you say it. Aah!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, the EVO is too big to cure without getting to its core.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah, well, I'm not doing much good out here!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' All those vines, the seedlings, everything-- They're just puppets to the plant. Stop those nanites in the core, and you cut the strings.
: '''Rex:''' On it! Huh?!
: '''Agent Six:''' Watch it, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' Whoa! All I want are my goggles. All I've wanted all day are my goggles, and this EVOs been blocking me over and over! Hey, Bobo, you know how to shoot one of these?
: '''Bobo:''' Eh, how hard could it be?
: '''Rex:''' Load me into this thing and point it right at that EVO's sweet spot. And hurry. I got better stuff to do.
: '''Bobo:''' You do know that's 30,000 gallons of raw sewage you're aimin' at?
: '''Rex:''' Don't remind me. Oh... Yuck! Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck!
: '''Agent Six:''' Elegant solution, Rex.
: '''Bobo:''' You don't smell elegant. You stink worse than me. I'm a little jealous.
: '''Black Knight:''' All right, Rex. Get to work.
: '''Rex:''' Work? What do you mean? I just served that vegetable!
: '''Black Knight:''' You cut the strings, but you still have to fix the puppets.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' She's right, Rex.
: '''Black Knight:''' You want to cure the world? Start curing.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex:''' Whoa, man, I'm beat! I don't think I can move another inch if you paid me.
: ''[Goggle girl rides past him]''
: '''Rex:''' Gotta move! See ya! Hey! Stop for a second! Six, I'm really starting to think this girl's got some kind of EVO action going on-- Teleporter, speedster, something.
: '''Goggle girl:''' Hey!
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Six, she's not just a teleporter. She can make doubles of herself-- Multiple abilities! She's an EVO, like me!
: '''Goggle girl:''' It's the skeevy guy who's been chasing me. He was chasing me, too. And me. What do you want?
: '''Rex:''' You took my goggles! I want them back!
: '''Goggle girl:''' Hey, Einstein, did you see our logo? That stands for &quot;Goggle Girl&quot;, as in the delivery service. You haven't ever heard of us?
: '''Rex:''' Um... No.
: '''Goggle girl:''' &quot;Nothing is cuter than a girl on a scooter.&quot; Kind of hard to miss.
: ''[Goggle girl groans]''
: '''Goggle girl:''' It's the worst slogan ever.
: '''Rex:''' But-- But my goggles!
: '''Goggle girl:''' Part of our costume. The boss buys them in bulk, along with these cheesy wigs he makes us wear. It's kind of lame.
: '''Rex:''' In bulk?! Those goggles?! But... They're one-of-a-kind! They're special! They're-- They're... I'll just go now. Nope. Nope. Definitely not.
: '''Agent Six:''' I still don't know why those goggles were so important to you.
: '''Rex:''' You gave to me, Six. It was the first present, the first nice thing that I remember getting since you found me. You said they were special, and that made me feel special.
: '''Six:''' Yes, about those goggles... Apparently, according to Bobo, I may have misled you. There was dozens of them in the Providence service bay.
: '''Rex:''' I knew the story was fake, but you told it because you cared about me. That's what made them special.
: '''Agent Six:''' I see.
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, champ. You got a package.
: '''Goggle girl:''' Sign, please.
: '''Agent Six:''' It's for you. From us. Just open it.
: '''Rex:''' My goggles!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Better. We commissioned an enhanced version.
: '''Rex:''' Cool! Infrared... Microscopic... Nanovision?! Thanks, you guys. You really are one-of-a-kind.
: '''Bobo:''' Those are great, but these are me.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' I just need to hold on to them for a few more hours while I run a full diagnostic.
: '''Rex:''' A few hours?! I just got them! Aw!
: '''Bobo:''' Here-- Because I care.
: '''Goggle girl:''' They actually look kinda cute.
: '''Rex:''' Hey, doc! No rush!
: '''Bobo:''' Ain't love grand?

===Black and White===
: '''Calan:''' Be advised, we've got activity. Major activity. Stop right there, or we'll shoot! Don't make me do it.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, I know what you're thinking, but this is totally not what it looks like.
: '''Calan:''' Calan to command, tell Black Knight-- We have apprehended the intruders. Repeat, we got'em.
: '''Rex:''' No! Get out of my head! Stop it! Stop! Stop with the talking! A dream. Oh, thank you! For a second, I swore that I heard his voice. It was almost like he was in the-- Room. Huh?!
: '''White Knight:''' I was wondering if I was gonna have to send the monkey in with a bucket of water. But I thought, &quot;why should he have all the fun?&quot; Five minutes-- Situation room. Consider this your wake-up call.
: '''Rex:''' Aren't you supposed to be playing dead? You're lucky Black Knight doesn't know you're here.
: '''White Knight:''' Black Knight thinks what I want her to think. With the installation of the new regime, I suspected that there was more going on at providence than just this new control protocol. I decided to test my hypothesis. I needed time to operate freely without prying eyes. So I went off the grid.
: '''Rex:''' And from the smell of it, you haven't changed out of your suit since then.
: ''[Bobo sniffs]''
: '''White Knight:''' I've been busy. I've been tracking their operations. They involve familiar locales and even more familiar machinery.
: '''Rex:''' You still use a camera with film? Do they even make that stuff anymore?
: '''White Knight:''' What they don't make are machines like these. This is the wreckage of Rylander's lab.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Are they doing what I think they're doing?
: '''Rex:''' Do what?
: '''White Knight:''' It appears that this new Providence is restarting the nanite program.
: '''Rex:''' There is no way my brother would help restart something that nearly destroyed the world. There's got to be a good explanation. We should just ask him.
: '''White Knight:''' We can't risk direct contact. We need to infiltrate Providence, download her computer banks, and assess how far along they are before we take any other actions.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Over there.
: '''Rex:''' Just saying there's more here than meets the eye. Whoa!
: '''Six:''' Breaking into Providence? That's a big move, even for you. Black Knight is sure to have enhanced the security systems. We may be able to breach the perimeter defenses, but once inside, we'd be blind targets.
: '''White Knight:''' You'd be right if we were playing on her board.
: '''Six:''' Forgive me for doubting you.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, is someone gonna tell me what these are for? This is so not going to work.
: '''Six:''' Trust the plan.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Okay, so, maybe they worked. But how'd you get them to do it on cue?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' All a matter of timing. Assuming we get past the outer perimeter, securing the data is a completely different story. Providence encrypts all data. We need to disable multiple units before we can download anything off the mainframe. Doing that undetected is ''[sighs]'' insane.
: '''Rex:''' Finally, a voice of reason. I'm calling my brother. Took the lady with three phds to realize what I've been saying all along is right. Hey, that costs money! I'm over my minutes!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' How did you... This is...
: '''Six:''' Doable.
: '''Rex:''' Do what? What is that? A secret passage.
: '''White Knight:''' When they built the tower, I had them install, these-- Upper-management corridors.
: '''Six:''' In the old days, they called passages like these the king's road.
: '''White Knight:''' From here, we face some unknowns. Stick to the plan. Or we could die.
: '''Rex:''' What?! Me?! What about you?! Part of the plan was to do this quietly.
: '''Calan:''' Stop right there, or we'll shoot!
: ''[Dr. Holiday gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Here we go. Ok, I know what you're thinking, but this is totally not what it looks like.
: '''White Knight:''' Stand down, Rex.
: ''[Calan laughs]''
: '''Calan:''' Welcome back, sir. We've been waiting for you.
: '''Rex:''' Que, huh?
: '''Calan:''' Sorry for the scare, Rex. We couldn't guarantee the Black Knight wasn't taper our communications. It was best to keep radio silence. In any case-- Say hello to your man on the inside. He've got a bomb! All units, fall back, fall back! Captain Calan, do you copy? Report.
: '''White Knight:''' Ready for a repeate performance?
: '''Calan:''' Ready when you are, sir. Good luck, everyone. They're headed for the... petting zoo.
: '''Holiday:''' Here it is. Just like he said.
: '''White Knight:''' This is the Hive. The central nervous system of the entire complex. An electric field protects the inner chambers. We'll need the circuit bandage.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' I've got an idea, but you'll have to go in partially naked. We've got eyes everywhere.
: '''Six:''' Good. Knight and I will handle the encryption towers. You know what to do with this.
: '''Rex:''' No sweat. I'm on it. Just have to make one quick detour. Bro? You in here? Oh, no. No, no, no!
: '''Caesar:''' Rex, is that you? What brings you here?
: ''[Six groans]''
: '''Six:''' Partially naked. Tower one clear. Proceed to next phase.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Got it. Redirecting the data flow now.
: '''Calan:''' Anyone hear for the monkey?
: '''Rex:''' Huh?!
: '''Bobo:''' Offical pet desk. Keep your distance.
: '''Rex:''' Is that Dr. Rylander?
: '''Caesar:''' It is. Well, almost. After you brought back Van Kleiss, I couldn't help but to wonder if perhaps I might do the same for him. Unfortunately, Van Kleiss was already great in tune the nanites. As you can see, Dr. Rylander-- wasn't.
: '''Rex:''' Ok, whatever. Listen, I'm here on a secret mission.
: '''Caesar:''' Secret? 
: '''Rex:''' White Knight said--
: '''Caesar:''' White Knight is alive?
: '''Rex:''' If you can call him that. Anyway, he says... you might wanna sit down for this part? That Black Knight is restarting the nanite program. Don't you think that's messed up?
: '''Caesar:''' On the contrary. I'm in charge of it.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Commencing download in T-2 minutes. White Knight has infiltrated sector three. You're right. They are monitoring our movements. How did you know?
: '''White Knight:''' It's what I would do. Now start evac protocols.
: '''Black Knight:''' I've torn this facility apart looking for that? When I found it, I still couldn't get to it. Bio-feed security system-- Clever. You have to be nanite-free to open it. I guessed you weren't dead. I knew if I let enough info leak about what we're doing here, you've showed up, eventually. I'll take it.
: '''White Knight:''' You can try.
: '''Black Knight:''' What ever you say. You were the boss.
: '''White Knight:''' That's not a providence toy.
: '''Black Knight:''' A woman is entitled her secrets. Especially when those secrets keep me alive.
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''White Knight:''' Ohh! What I could've done with you if I hired you first.
: '''Black Knight:''' Don't fool yourself, White.
: '''White Knight:''' Ohh, ohh, ohh!
: '''Black Knight:''' You were bandage at best. the Consortium knew that you weren't the leader for the future. Stand down, old man!
: '''White Knight:''' I've got a few secrets of my own, kid. After all, this was my office. Consortium or not, it will be again.
: '''Black Knight:''' Ugh!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Be advised, they're on to us. Making for the rendezvous.
: '''Six:''' I'll take my swords back now. Please.
: '''Rex:''' What are you doing, helping Black Knight? She's obviously the more psycho of the two knights.
: '''Caesar:''' I'm not helping the Black Knight do anything. I'm trying to fix things. The day everything changed. We never imagined what would happen when we released the nanites.
: '''Rex:''' Release them?! You caused the nanite event?!
: '''Caesar:''' It was the only way we were going to save the world.
: '''Rex:''' You unleashed the worst man-made disaster the world has ever seen!! You've ruined countless lives!! How can you say that you saved anything?!
: '''Caesar:''' You weren't there... not in any way that mattered! If we hadn't--
: '''Rex:''' Hold that thought. Here, doggy, doggy.
: '''Six:''' Excessive?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Sweet, actually. Now you're overdoing it.
: '''White Knight:''' ''[panting]'' Are we finished here? ''[screams]'' Careful, Black. Your council wouldn't be too pleased if you destroyed the very thing you're after.
: '''Black Knight:''' If doesn't have to be like this, White! The Consortium may have lost faith in you, but you know my methods are right. Come back. Under my protection, who knows? There may even be a promotion in it for you.
: '''White Knight:''' You would turn on your own masters?
: '''Black Knight:''' For that kind of power, wouldn't you?
: '''White Knight:''' You would turn on your own masters?
: '''Black Knight:''' For that kind of power, wouldn't you?
: '''White Knight:''' I am going to stop the Consortium. If you or Providence gets in my way, this tape goes public.
: '''Black Knight:''' Wait!
: '''Caesar:''' Rex, stop! You're destroying my work!
: '''Rex:''' Your work is done! And so are we! I got it. Time to blow this--
: '''Black Knight:''' Stand down, Rex. Face it, kiddo... today is not your day.
: '''Rex:''' Actually, today's wednesday, and wednesday means fiesta night at the cafeteria. Getting in is going to be cake... very dangerous cake. Any bright ideas on how we're getting out?
: '''Bobo:''' I got one word for you, kid-- Plumbing.
: '''Rex:''' I got it. Time to blow this...
: '''Bobo:''' Taco stand.
: '''White Knight:''' Aah!
: '''Bobo:''' Me and Van Gogh, unappreciated in our time.
: '''Rex:''' All of that-- Was for that?! I got nanites, billions of 'em.
: '''White Knight:''' Not like this one, Rex. This is a Meta Nanite. One of several. Hardwired into its design is a program for the original Dominion Code.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Dominion Code? I thought that was a myth.
: '''White Knight:''' I can assure you, doctor, it is very real. Each one gives its host control over different building blocks of the universe- matter, antimatter, elemental, space, time, reality. With the complete code, you can control them. And through them, you control ''everything''. In sort, it's the God Code.
: '''Rex:''' The Consortium want to be...gods?
: '''White Knight:''' If it wasn't for the original Nanite Event scattering the Metas across the globe, they may have already succeeded. The situation has changed, people. Black Knight has been searching the globe for the other Meta-Nanites. She needs them all to complete the Master Program. As long as we're keeping her secret, she'll hold off. But sooner or later, she'll be coming for this with the full power of Providence and the Consortium at her back. So... if you want to move on, forget what I've told you.
: '''Rex:''' You're not getting rid of us that easily, old man. My parents died for this. Black Knight wants war, war she gets.

===Deadzone===
: '''Holiday:''' &quot;You cannot let him out of your sight, Rex. Don't you see why Black Knight wants him? He's the ultimate insurance against any E.V.O.&quot;
: '''Rex:''' &quot;Not just any. Me.&quot;
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Black Knight:''' &quot;Since the search for Feakins is going nowhere, we have no choice but to become much more aggressive with Rex.&quot;

===Assault on Abysus===
: '''Diane Farrah:''' Through research and hard work, Providence has turned the curse of the EVO into a blessing. One that will serve mankind. Science and compassion have created a new future for all EVOs. A future filled with happiness and hope.
: '''Black Pawn:''' You? Seen some EVOs pass through here?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
*Rex and Circe finally admit their true feelings for one another. Unfortunately, there was not enough episodes to explore their romance further.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: ''[Somewhere in [[w:Hong Kong|Hong Kong, China]]'']''
: '''Circe:''' Okay. They're gone.
: '''Skywwd:''' For now. Get out of here, Circe. Run!
: '''Circe:''' I'm not leaving you guys.
: '''Skywwd:''' You can pass as human. Go-- Before Providence gets you too.
: '''Black Pawn:''' The girl! She's with them!
: '''Skwwyd:''' Run!
: '''Rex:''' Hmm? What's up?
: '''Circe:''' You're the only person I could turn to.
: '''Rex:''' Circe?
: '''Circe:''' I don't know. That's the hardest part.
: '''Rex:''' You did what you had to do.
: '''Circe:''' I left them there, Rex. Our friends. Providence has to be stopped. Someone needs to do something.
: '''Rex:''' ''[puts his arms around Circe to comfort her]'' We are.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Am I disturbing you two?
: '''Rex:''' No.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' White Knight wants to talk with you.
: '''Rex:''' Ugh. What's he gonna yell at me for this time?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' No, I meant Circe. He wants to talk to her.
: '''Circe:''' Providence has been hunting these down, too?
: '''White Knight:''' You didn't tell her about them, Rex?
: '''Rex:''' I thought the Master Control Nanites were supposed to be top secret.
: '''White Knight:''' She has to know if she's going to lead the mission.
: '''Rex:''' Her? That was supposed to be my mission.
: '''White Knight:''' It's no one's mission. It's about getting the job done.
: '''Circe:''' Why me?
: '''White Knight:''' Intelligence indicates that Providence has targeted a Master Control Nanite in Abysus. In Van Kleiss' old castle, to be more precise. You're the only one with the knowledge to get us in there.
: '''Rex:''' I've been there before. How hard could it be? Circe, you don't have to.
: '''Circe:''' If it helps stop Black Knight in Providence, I'm in.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, Doc. We made it. The new power suit gave me more range, just like you said.
: ''[Circe whistles]''
: '''Circe:''' Thanks, Banak. We're trying to keep a low profile. Don't tell anyone, okay?
: '''Rex:''' Good thing you knew the secret whistle or we might have been rooting around forever.
: ''[Rex chuckles]''
: '''Rex:''' Get it? &quot;Root&quot;? Uh... This can't be easy coming back here. I owe you.
: '''Circe:''' Forget it. We're even. I used you in the past, now you and your friends are using me.
: '''Rex:''' Is there some sort of problem between you and me?
: '''Circe:''' There's nothing between you and me. Just the mission. I don't have good memories of this place. Let's just leave it at that, okay?
: '''Rex:''' Fine. I'm surprised we haven't run into-- Ugh!
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Skalamander:''' Traitor! Stop her!
: '''Circe:''' Aah!
: '''Rex:''' Can you chill?! There's no time for this. Who's leading you now that Van Kleiss is gone? I need to speak to your leader. Figures. Biowolf, we have a problem. And... I need your help.
: '''Biowulf:''' I will listen.
: '''Rex:''' Great, because--
: '''Biowulf:''' Only after you. earn the right-- Through combat.
: ''[Biowulf growls]''
: ''[Rex spits]''
: '''Rex:''' At least Van Kleiss was civilized. Buckle up, dog boy.
: '''Biowulf:''' You may speak. This nanite you want-- It's not here. None of us have seen it up in the castle or the blast source.
: '''Rex:''' I didn't say up. It's down. White Knight thinks it's under the castle. Some other secure lab area.
: '''Biowulf:''' The primary chamber?
: '''Circe:''' It's under the castle? Van Kleiss always said it was forbidden for us to go there.
: '''Rex:''' You think he remembered to tell Black Knight that? Let me take it out of here.
: '''Biowulf:''' No! You're a traitor to your own kind. A lapdog to these humans. I've heard enough!
: '''Rex:''' All of us will fall-- All EVOs-- If she gets it. Black Knight is worse than you know. If I don't get the nanite out of here, Providence will take it.
: '''Biowulf:''' Providence! This is Abysus, the heart of the EVO world. Providence wouldn't dare.
: '''Circe:''' The sentries have spotted something.
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. I wonder who.
: '''Providence Soldier:''' Black Knight, the assault forces are in place.
: '''Black Knight:''' The field is yours. We've secured the borders. No chance White Knight and his team will get in the country to interfere.
: '''Biowulf:''' The castle is surrounded.
: '''Rex:''' Standard operating procedure for Providence is to secure the perimeter, then close for attack. Black Knight will have snuck forces around back.
: '''Skalamander:''' How should we counter?
: '''Rex:''' Easy.
: '''Biowulf:''' You take your nanite. I'll decide how to deal with the invaders.
: '''Black Pawn:''' Deploy the collars. Rise. Forward. Attack.
: '''Rex:''' The nanite event blew away half the castle. This must have been deep enough to survive it. Huh? You hear that?
: '''Circe:''' No. Hear what?
: '''Rex:''' Uh... Nothing. This place would make a great rec room. Maybe a karaoke machine over there--
: '''Circe:''' Van Kleiss would send volunteers down here to try and get in. None of them ever came back.
: '''Rex:''' Well... That's encouraging.
: '''Circe:''' What is it?
: '''Rex:''' They're... I-I think they're nanites. They're following our lights. They can't see in the dark. I have a plan. Lead them back.
: '''Circe:''' ''[concerned]'' Rex?
: '''Rex:''' When I say &quot;roll,&quot; roll.
: '''Circe:''' What?!
: '''Rex:''' Roll! Circe, sing!
: ''[Circe uses her ultrasonic blasts on the EVOs and beams at Rex.]''
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Rex:''' We always made a good team.
: '''Circe:''' It won't hold them long.
: '''Rex:''' You think this is why Van Kleiss always wanted me-- So I could get him in here?
: '''Biowulf:''' Providence has breached the castle. We can't hold our position much longer.
: '''Rex:''' Go. I'll get the Master-Control Nanite. ''[Notices how worried Circe is about him probably not returning]'' This isn't Hong Kong. I'll be okay. I'll meet up with you soon.
: '''Biowulf:''' They've turned our own people against us.
: '''Circe:''' Let me see what I can do.
: ''[Circe uses her ultrasonic bursts on several collared EVOs]''.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: ''[Circe gasping]''
: '''Circe:''' So many.
: '''Biowulf:''' You can't stop the ones they've collared.
: '''Circe:''' I can go down trying.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Black Pawn:''' Her sonics are disrupting the offensive.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Black Pawn:''' Hyah! Unh!
: '''Biowulf:''' If we can't defeat them, we'll take down as many as we can fighting.
: '''Circe:''' This isn't one battle. It's a war. And we can't let it end here before Rex has the Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Biowulf:''' What, then?
: '''Circe:''' Tactical retreat.
: ''[Circe whistles]''
: '''Rex:''' Huh. Dad.
: '''Providence Soldier:''' Outer rooms of the castle secured.
: '''Black Pawn:''' I don't need you here, Black Knight. It's only a matter of time. We will take the castle piece by piece.
: ''[Skalamander growling]''
: '''Black Pawn:''' You are ours now. Down.
: ''[Skalamander grunting]''
: '''Skalamander:''' Rex is here. He will make you bow to us!
: '''Black Knight:''' This is all a diversion. Find Rex before he gets the Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Black Pawn:''' Yes, Ma'am.
: '''Black Knight:''' Either you do it or I will. I'm on my way.
: '''Rex:''' This place... Rylander had the same type of lab.
: '''Soldier:''' Security system engaged.
: '''Rex:''' No!
: '''Soldier:''' Intruder. Provide authorized identity or be terminated. Identify. Identify. Identify. Identify.
: '''Rex:''' Aah! I'm Rex! Rex Salazar!
: '''Soldier:''' Salazar genetype-- Accepted.
: ''[Rex sighs]''
: '''Rex:''' There you are, you little troublemaker. You're coming home with the good guys. Uhh. Weird. Uh... I don't suppose you're looking for the karaoke machine? Running into you-- What a coincidence. Come down here a lot? Whoa! Missed me.
: '''Black Pawn:''' I have the nanite. Keep the boy busy while I get it to Black Knight.
: '''Rex:''' No!
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Rex:''' You two sure know how to make an entrance.
: '''Circe:''' The others are getting hammered by Provindence. They're barely holding them off in the dungeon.
: '''Rex:''' Gee! Van Kleiss has a dungeon. What a surprise.
: '''Biowulf:''' This is no joke. They might die because I came down here to save you.
: '''Rex:''' I won't let them get taken. I promise you that. But I need you to let me call the shots.
: ''[Biowulf sighs]''
: '''Biowulf:''' Very well.
: '''Rex:''' Circ, dungeon left or right?
: '''Circe:''' Left. The dungeon's the other way.
: '''Rex:''' I'm not looking for the dungeon. I'm looking for the scouts. : '''Black Pawn:''' Nothing.
: '''Rex:''' Well, maybe a little something.
: ''[Circe echoing roar]''
: '''Rex:''' Scouts. Classic Providence tactics-- So they don't get ambushed. Uhh. What is this place?
: '''Biowulf:''' The old reservoir. It goes to the river.
: '''Rex:''' Perfect. ''[deep voice]'' Scout to command. West wing, reservoir-- We've found a back way onto what must be the main EVO force. It's five times the size of what you're fighting.
: '''Black Pawn:''' Roger, scout. All forces, withdraw from dungeon siege. Report to west wing, reservoir. Ambush maneuver lambda.
: '''Rex:''' ''[normal voice]'' Get your troops. It's bath time.
: '''Biowulf:''' Now you bow to Rex!
: '''Rex:''' The Providence goons are contained, Biowulf. They shouldn't be any more trouble. And I got the Master-Control Nanite. Looks like mission accomplished.
: '''Circe:''' Rex, I--
: ''[She and Rex cling to each other as the castle begins shaking.]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Rex, order your friends to surrender. You're all under Providence custody. I always knew it might be impossible to capture the Master-Control Nanite in the heart of the nanite infestation. So the solution was to remove it.
: '''Circe:''' It's Hong Kong all over again.
: '''Rex:''' No. We can fight. We'll double back and-- A-and then--
: '''Biowulf:''' Go! Get the nanite out of here!
: '''Rex:''' No! I promised you!
: '''Biowulf:''' You were right. That nanite is more important than anyone here. Including myself. I am the leader. I give the orders. Run!
: ''[Rex panting]''
: '''Rex:''' They were counting on me. I don't want to leave them.
: '''Circe:''' I did what I had to do. You do what you have to. I want you to know, all this was never about me just using you.
: ''[Circe gasps]''
: ''[Finally admits her true romantic feelings for Rex in the form of a passionate kiss. She then pushes a shocked Rex off the ledge, so he could escape; and her getting collared and captured in his stead. She smiled with tears in her eyes, with the promise that she would be okay.]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Rex:''' ''[burdened by Circe admitting her intense love for him and sacrifice]'' We all make sacrifices for the things we care about-- The people we love. But when the stakes are this high, who can we trust? What would that power do to anyone who had it? They attacked Abysus. What's stopping them from attacking us for these nanites?
: '''White Knight:''' They will-- Sooner or later. That's why I want to turn the tables on them first.
: '''Rex:''' You know how to do that so we survive in one piece?
: '''White Knight:''' Not yet.

===Remote Control===
: '''Bobo:''' Providence goons are thick as fleas tonight, and I know fleas.
: '''Rex:''' We're gonna be late if we have to keep sneaking around.
: '''Bobo:''' After you.
: '''Skwydd:''' Rex must have bailed on us-- Again.
: '''Cricket:''' He would never do that, Skwydd. And besides, he dad to fly all the way to Honk Kong on his own. Give him some time.
: '''Tuck:''' He's here! Everything okay, Rex?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Cricket:''' If you think we're going to thank you for getting us out of there, Quarry.
: '''Quarry:''' I think you're going to do exactly as I say.
: ''[Activates the mind-control collar on her neck]''
: '''Cricket:''' AH!!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Cricket, it's me! Rex! Used to a crush on me!?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' Let them go. They'll lead us straight to Quarry.
: '''Cricket:''' &quot;Used to have a crush&quot;?
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Cricket:''' You know how collared EVOs follow kind of like a robot. with these collars, it's worse. It's like you're a remote-controlled robot.
: '''Rex:''' That is a nasty hack.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' Your friends are very valuable to me as are you.
: '''Rex:''' Like the new look- strapping.
: '''Quarry:''' Let's just say I had to find a way to &quot;keep it together&quot; after my visit to Abyuss. Just one more thing you owe me for and you know how much I like a balanced book.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' You'll be the crown jewel of my E.V.O. army, Rex. I may just make you my own personal slave.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' That collar suits you, Rex. Wish I had one for you back in the old days. Would've saved me a lot of trouble.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Rex:''' The arcade- all those kids.
: '''Quarry:''' those brats were born to play games, which is what they think their doing. And I have your people to thank for the tech. That brother of yours is quite the wiz kid.
: '''Rex:''' Caesar would never--
: '''Cricket:''' Forget about Caesar, Rex! You know what you got to do!
: '''Rex:''' These guys will shred you if I leave!
: '''Tuck:''' We got this, Rex! Go!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Quarry:''' Consider the fact that you made me like this while I'm crushing you.

===A Brief History of Time===
: '''Van Kleiss:''' 4.000 years from my destination, and I've run out of of time. I've scarcely completed the vessel which shall deliver me to my own era. Gharun-Set, activate the traps-- Quickly! My greatest creation-- So useful to me, but too dangerous to roam free. If only I had time to destroy him, as I should. But I have a more pressing death I must prevent. My own. AAAAAAAAAAAH!
: '''Rex:''' Kind of defeating the whole stealth element of a stealth suit, Bobo.
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, now was I supposed to know that ghanoush went bad?
: '''Rex:''' Maybe because you found it in a garbage can.
: '''Bobo:''' On top of a garbage can.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Holiday to Rex. Are you at the site?
: '''Rex:''' There is not site, remember? Black Knight blew the pace to kingdom come.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Yet it's still guarded. And thanks to the data you stole from Providence, we know why.
: '''Rex:''' Van Kleiss back in time? I still find it hard to believe.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You were sent six months into the future, Rex. It stands to reason that the reverse is possible.
: '''Rex:''' Well, if you expect to find him here, maybe we should check the mummy museum. We're sensing nanites-- Definitely V.K.'s. They've been dead a long time.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Over 4,000 years. I'm also detecting tachyons-- Quantum particles that travel in time. I think it's clear what he was making.
: '''Bobo:''' A latrine?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' A time machine.
: '''Rex:''' No way he pulled it off! If mister ego made it back to here and now, we'd know about it.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Some of these nanites are considerably younger. That means he was there in two different time periods.
: '''Rex:''' Time travel gives me a headache. Just tell me-- Where is he now?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' The more accurate question is, when is he?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' AAAAAAH!
: ''[Van Kleiss gasping]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh! The ordeal is... draining. But now, back in my own time, I can replenish my nanite reserves and--
: '''Gladiator #1:''' Quis es tu?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I recognize the language, of course-- Classical latin. Qui-- Q-Qui annus est?
: '''Gladiator #1:''' What year is it? You dare question a captain of the imperial guard? Aegyptus is a roman Providence! Answer! Who are you?
: '''Gladiator #2:''' Don't bother-- He's clearly sun-mad.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' The dialect, the dress-- This is the second century A.D. A mere 2,000 years has passed. I'm only halfway home!
: '''Gladiator #1:''' Another escaped slave. Finish him and be done with it.
: ''[Gladiator #2 grunts]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' It was all the fight I could muster. I had no way to replace the nanites I'd spent in the journey, and my gauntlet had yet to recharge those that remained.
: '''Gladiator #2:''' This one shows spirit. He'll bring a good price in the arena.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' OOMPH!
: ''[Van Kleiss groans]''
: '''Gladiator #2:''' Save your strength.
: '''Gladiator #3:''' Where you're going, you'll need it.
: ''[Van Kleiss slurps]''
: ''[Van Kleiss gulps]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I intend to. Of the mysterious force, there is no sign. Yet I sense it is close-- Pursuing me even across the centuries. I am convinced it is a manifestation of time itself. My presence is a violation of physics-- An imbalance which the time stream seeks to correct... By wiping me from existence. But of this, I am certain-- If I do not return to my own time, it will surely destroy me.
: '''Gladiator #1:''' You are fortunate, slave. To die in the arena is a great honor.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' An honor I look forward to bestowing.
: ''[Gladiator #1 laughs]''
: '''Gladiator #1:''' You see? Spirit!
: ''[Van Kleiss groans]''
: '''Gladiator #3:''' Put on a good show, little man, and I promise to make your end a painless one.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Indeed?
: ''[Gladiator #3 grunts]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I, on the other hand, make no such promise.
: ''[Gladiator #3 grunting]''
: ''[Van Kleiss grunting]''
: '''Gladiator #3:''' AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
: ''[Gladiator #3 groans]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' One against so many? Hardly seems fair. For them.
: '''Gladiator #4:''' ARRRGHHHH!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ordinarily, I'd say &quot;take me to your leader,&quot; but I believe he's already here.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Great warrior... Never have I seen such a battle. I am...
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Septimius Severus, 21st emperor of Rome, founder of the severan dynasty. And, as I recall, you poisoned your own commanding officer to get his position... And wear only boots to conceal a prodigious clubfoot.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Are you a man... Or a God?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I find both labels rather limiting. Now, then, you are going to give me whatever I require, starting with a quiet place to work. I, in return, shall ensure the growth and security of your reign as emperor. You may call me Van Kleiss.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Whatever your desire, great Vanklios.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Actually, it's... Got a rather nice ring.
: '''Rex:''' What's with this guy? Gets a portrait done in every time period?
: '''Bobo:''' Mm. ''[muffled]'' Truly a nutjob for the ages. Mm. Speaking of nuts... Want some?
: '''Rex:''' You've been dumpster-diving again?
: '''Bobo:''' I prefer &quot;foraging.&quot;
: '''Rex:''' Yeah. Nice sleuthing there, doc.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Nanites decay at a measurable half-life. I set our sat-net to do a global scan for the same frequency-- Ergo, Rome.
: '''Rex:''' Great. You scan for the next stop, we'll grab a pizza.
: '''Bobo:''' Pass. I'm experiencing inexpicable gastric distress.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, it would take months to scan the entire spectrum. You need to find the next decay frequency.
: '''Rex:''' Kind of like nanite connect-the-dots! Can I do it with someone else?
: '''Bobo:''' Hey, quiet, you! Rah!
: '''Rex:''' This goose chase just got a little wilder. My brother's here.
: '''Caesar:''' Caesar to Black. We've detected paleo-nanites. Tachyon readings negative. We're moving to the next hot stop.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Tachyons-- They want Van Kleiss' time machine. Follow them.
: '''Rex:''' Come on.
: '''Bobo:''' Can you give me a teeny sec? I gotta find the little gladiators' room.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Advances in the last two millenia have allowed me to complete my lab in weeks instead of months. Restrict the flow! Do you want to overload the power cells? Meanwhile, my own nanite supply continues to dwindle.
: ''[Septimius Severus panting]''
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Great Vanklios, protect me!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I've divulged metallurgy and tactics beyond your day. No man may threaten your rule.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' This is no man-- But an apparition!
: ''[Septimius Severus grunts]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' What apparition? Speak, parasite!
: '''Septimius Severus:''' A spirit of doom! Numerous sightings-- The insulare, the rostra, the forum. Listen! It comes! It comes!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Fool. It only wants me.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Ugh!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I release you. Go start a few legends.
: '''Septimius Severus:''' NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
: ''[Septimius Severus gasps]''
: '''Septimius Severus:''' Be gone! I beg of you! Aah!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, those stress lines-- It's the same pattern we saw in Egypt.
: '''Black Knight:''' Report.
: '''Caesar:''' These aqueducts are truly marvels of roman engineering.
: '''Black Knight:''' Have you picked up the next decay frequency?
: '''Caesar:''' Oh-- That. Yes. Uplinking to our global net. Odd. These tachyons seems unrelated to--
: '''Black Knight:''' We have the next target. Scandinavia. Move out. White Knight may have people on the trail. I expect you to do whatever it takes to procure the objective.
: '''Rex:''' Shh!
: '''Caesar:''' I've initiated the same steps as in Egypt! Come along.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, we need that decay frequency.
: '''Rex:''' Just one small problem, doc. This place... is toast.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex? Bobo? Respond!
: '''Rex:''' We're okay, doc. Not a mark on us.
: '''Bobo:''' Same can't be said for my stealth suit. Whoa!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: ''[Rex and Bobo gasps]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' So many lives... It's become a blur. I don't know who I am anymore. Only that I must sail onward, ever onwoard down the river of time. Never resting, always moving. Further draining my nanite reserves beyond my ability to replenish. And each re-emergence, I am pursued by the nameless force. I now know it's personal. I am a virus-- An infection of space-time. Call it what you like. This is time's antibody. Whether I can borne home or drowned in its currents, this is my final journey.
: '''Rex:''' Hurry! I'm not sure if we here followed.
: '''Bobo:''' I'm sure.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Don't shoot! It's me.
: '''Rex:''' Holiday? Shouldn't you be at the plant, connecting the dots?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' No more dots to connect. The trail ends here. And... I'm reading a humanoid form inside.
: '''Rex:''' I'm confused. Is it a time machine or isn't it?
: '''Caesar:''' It's not a time machine. Are those really necessary?
: '''Rex:''' No way you're getting this time machine, bro!
: '''Caesar:''' I don't want it. And it's not a time machine.
: '''Bobo:''' Well, then, what is it? A meat locker for cold cuts?
: '''Caesar:''' Surprisingly close. We use this technique to transfer unstable nanites. It puts them into a state of dormancy.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Of course. It's a hibernation chamber.
: '''Caesar:''' Only his nanites were dormant. There would still be neuron flow.
: '''Rex:''' Mind telling me what that means, exactly?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' He was... Aware. The whole time, for hundreds of years.
: '''Caesar:''' He would have felt every minute pass.
: '''Rex:''' No way! He's totally a mummy!
: '''Rex and Bobo:''' Wah!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Run! It's coming! It's coming?!
: '''Rex and Bobo:''' Wah!
: '''Rex:''' Easy, easy, Van Kleiss. You're back-- Back in your own time.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' No! No, it'll find me! It always does! You must protect me.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Tachyon readings off the chart! Rex, you can't affect that thing. I don't know what can.
: '''Caesar:''' It's a field of pure tachyons. I've got to get a sample.
: '''Rex:''' Oh, no, you don't!
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I'm back! Back in my own time! You shall not have me?! OHHHH!
: '''Bobo:''' Settle down, Van Winkle.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex shudders]''
: '''Rex:''' Oh, no. It couldn't be. I need some way to contain it!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Tachyons can't be contained!
: '''Caesar:''' Yes, they can. Rex!
: ''[Caesar grunts]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, it's too risky!
: '''Rex:''' But I know what this is. Correction-- I know who this is.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex:''' Aah!
: ''[Rex groaning]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' It's... Breach.
: '''Rex:''' Breach. Breach! It's me-- Rex.
: '''Breach:''' Rex? Are you real... Or a dream?
: ''[Rex laughs]''
: '''Rex:''' Yeah, yeah, I'm-- I'm real.
: '''Breach:''' I was everywhere-- Everywhen. But I was nothing-- An emptiness, needing to be filled.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' The amp pack. Van Kleiss controlled it. When his nanites were active, Breach was drawn into his timeframe.
: ''[Van Kleiss grunts]''
: '''Caesar:''' The final joining would have destroyed them both.
: '''Breach:''' Guess I should say thanks.
: '''Rex:''' Hey, what are friends for? Um, we are still friends... Right?
: '''Caesar:''' You did well, little bro.
: '''Rex:''' And you have your time machine that... isn't a time machine. Everybody goes home happy.
: '''Caesar:''' That? A curiosity-- True. But it was never our goal.
: ''[Van Kleiss shivering]''
: ''[Van Kleiss chuckles]''
: '''Rex:''' Van Kleiss?! All this for him? what, they're gonna put him in jail?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' It's Providence, Rex. That's their jurisdiction.
: '''Caesar:''' No need to worry, little brother. He's going to be well supervised.
: '''Rex:''' Caesar, what is going on!?
: '''Caesar:''' Justice.
: '''Bobo:''' Two words-- Crème Brûlée. Ooh. Right after I make a french connection.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Welcome back, Van Kleiss. You look terrible. Ordinarily, I'd say get some rest, but you've had enough of that, I suppose.
: ''[Van Kleiss chuckles]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Pull it together. We have work to do. Do you know who I am?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Yes. I know who you are. It's been a long time. A very, very long time.

===Mind Games===
: '''Rex''': Yeah, I wouldn't be so sure of that.
: '''Six''': I told you not to get involved, Rex. You're not at full strength.
: '''Rex''': What was I supposed to do-- Just leave it?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Six has a point, Rex. You're pushed to the edge lately. You can't see everyone.
: '''Rex''': Not listening! Don't worry, dude. I'll have you out of here before you can say-- Circe?!
: '''Circe''': Hey, Rex. Rex! Aaaah!
: ''[Circe sighs]''
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Rex! Rex, do you read? What's going on? Your bios are low.
: '''Rex''': Leave her alone! You okay? 
: '''Circe''': I think so. We have to go.
: '''Rex''': Think that's your cue. Hang on. I think I got it. Ow!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex''': Hate this things.
: '''Circe''': Try wearing one.
: '''Rex''': I have. So, what happened? I thought Providence had you at Abysus.
: '''Circe''': I got away.
: '''Rex''': What about the Pack?
: '''Circe''': The Pack? I-- Don't know. Things are bad out there, Rex. I've been on the run for weeks. Providence has been stepping up their capture orders. I think something big is going down.
: '''Rex''': Tell me about it. Listen, I know we're gonna want to say no, but with everything that's going on...
: '''Circe''': I should stay at the plant. It's safer, right?
: '''Rex''': Wow, that was-- Easy. I had a whole speech and everything.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Well, everything checks out. You're the picture of health. I wish you'd let me do some more thorough scans, through.
: '''Six''': How was it you said you got away?
: '''Circe''': It's a long story. You guys have bigger things to worry about than me... like the Meta-Nanites. Did you get the one from Abysus? Have you found anymore?
: '''Rex''': Ugh, who cares? Let's go do something fun. You want to put Bobo' hand in shaving cream?
: ''[Circe yawns]''
: '''Circe''': Actually, Rex, I'm kind of tired. I thing I might just crash if that's cool.
: '''Rex''': Oh... yeah. Stupid of me. You, uh, get some sleep. Hey, doc. What are you doing?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Rex. I was just... working. What are you doing up?
: '''Rex''': Ah, it's... stupid.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Yeah, probably. But... go ahead.
: '''Rex''': I'm... excited. Since I got breached, everything's been so crazy.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Since you got breached? Right.
: '''Rex''': But with Circe back, I'm starting to think maybe things will turn out okay.
: '''White Knight''': I need everyone in the situation room in five minutes.
: '''Rex''': So much for that.
: ''[Dr. Holiday yawns]''
: '''Dr. Holiday''': What'd I miss?
: '''Rex''': Wow, Doc. You sure got comfy quick.
: '''White Knight''': Listen up, people. We need to retrieve a valuable asset before it falls into enemy hands.
: '''Six''': What's the objective?
: '''White Knight''': This man... Dr. Peter Meechum.
: '''Rex''': That guy? I remember him. Van crazy kiddnaped his daughter.
: '''White Knight''': Meechum spent the last year at a safehouse facility... Codename: Pandora's Box... location know only to me.
: '''Rex''': Why all the cloak and dagger?
: '''White Knight''': Because Meechum was one of the original scientists on the Nanite Project. He was given a panic button in case of emergency. Thirty minutes ago-- He activated it.
: '''Six''': Providence?
: '''White Knight''': We have to assume they're trying to assemble the original members of the Nanite Project. What Meechum knows is too valuable to fall into the wrong hands, so go get him.
: '''Six''': Maybe Circe should stay here.
: '''Rex''': What? Why?
: '''Six''': She's not on the team yet-- Not officialy.
: '''White Knight''': Take her. She'll be useful in the field.
: '''Rex''': Ahem. You guys forget you key? Did you check under the mat?
: '''Six''': Rex, focus on the mission. Get to Meechum!
: '''Rex''': Relax, Six. I could take these guys in my sleep, especially with help from... Huh? Circe? Uh... Time-out?
: '''Six''': Peter Meechum, you need to come with us.
: ''[Dr. Meechum scoffs]''
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Took you long enough.
: '''Rex''': Time in.
: '''White Knight''': Still no sign of Circe, Rex. We'll keep looking, but for right now, Meechum is our top priority.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': We'll find her, Rex. Don't worry.
: '''White Knight''': In the meantime, Dr. Meechum, I've checked, and your daughter is safe at her boarding school in England.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': My daughter. Right.
: '''White Knight''': We can make immediate arrangements to take you to her.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': No, I'd rather stay with you if that's all right. It's, uh-- It's safer.
: '''White Knight''': Of course. White Knight out.
: '''Rex''': So, after that, Providence attacked Abysus to get the Master-Control Nanite. Guess you were next on their list.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': I see. And all this happened in the last year?
: '''Six''': You've missed a lot since you've been away, doctor.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Horrible. I could never work for a Providence like that. I have to say it's all very impressive. Providence has certainly done a lot in the last year.
: '''Caesar''': And with your help, doctor, we can do more.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Where's White Knight? I should tell him I've arrived.
: '''Black Knight''': I can answer that for you. It's good to have you back, doctor.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': What happened to White?
: '''Black Knight''': Just a routine change in command. Nothing to worry about. If you'll excuse me, gentlemen.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Tell me you have my money ready.
: '''Black Knight''': You get away you want when I get what I want... Not before.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Relax.
: '''Six''': I'm a professional, aren't I?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Six, see Meechum? I have some data I'd like to go over with him. Are you... okay?
: '''Six''': Rebecca, I have something important to tell you.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Okay. Well... Thanks for tell me.
: '''Six''': Rex, are you in here? I do not understand this show.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Am I interrupting?
: '''Six''': Not at all. What can I do for you?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Nothing important. I just wanted to say... earlier... that was nice. Unexpected but nice. 
: '''Six''': Earlier?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': In the lab?
: '''Six''': I have no idea what you're talking about.
: ''[Dr. Holiday scoffs]''
: '''Rex''': Six, I need to talk to you about Circe. Uh... Six? Earth to agent guy. You okay?
: '''Six''': I'm fine. I've just decided not to waste any more time on you, Rex.
: '''Rex''': Um... Is this because I accidentaly used your swords to slice a pizza?
: '''Six''': It's because you're weak. You don't have what it takes to complete the mission.
: '''Rex''': Ohh, I get it. This is one of your test, right?
: '''Six''': No test. Just me coming to my senses. You're not strong enough to survive what's coming. In the end, you're gonna let us all down.
: ''[Dr. Holiday crying]''
: '''Rex''': Doc? What's wrong?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': ''[Sobbing]'' I-It's nothing, Rex. I didn't want you to see me like this.
: '''Rex''': Well, what is it?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': ''[Sobbing]'' It's Six. I'm afraid of him.
: '''Rex''': What?! That's crazy talk.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': ''[Sobbing]'' Is it? You have to have seen it. He's violent, on edge. He's losing control.
: '''Rex''': Are we talking about the same Six?
: '''Dr. Holiday''': We don't even known him. He was a killer, Rex. The old Six might have changed, but how do we know this Six didn't come back... Wrong?
: ''[Dr. Meechum whistling]''
: '''Dr. Meechum''': I have a question. How do you plan to re-create the project without a bio-interface expert?
: '''Caesar''': Oh, but we do have one.
: '''Van Kleiss''': No! The string doesn't work. Gordian knot, tied up tight. Alexander cheated. Can't cheat. Eyes on your own paper! Peter? No! Can't be! Different time, different me.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Van Kleiss? You brought back that monster?
: '''Caesar''': Of course. He was the original interface programmer. Who better?
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Excuse me a moment. White, what the heck is going on?!
: '''White Knight''': Peter? Where are you?
: '''Dr. Meechum''': I'm at Providence. Where are you?
: '''White Knight''': Providence. But that's not-- I have to go. We have a problem.
: '''Rex''': You're darn right we have a problem, because this isn't Peter Meechum!
: ''[Dr. Meechum laughing maniacally]''
: '''Scarecrow''': Heya, Rex. Miss me?
: '''Rex''': Who are you? Where's Meechum?
: '''White Knight''': His name's John Scarecrow. He's an EVO, specialist in infiltration. Black Knight played us.
: '''Scarecrow''': You really don't remember me, Rex? I'll give you a hint. We used to share a stomping ground. We had a problem with a shapes hifter once.
: '''Rex''': You were in Hong Kong.
: '''Scarecrow''': Give the man a prize.
: ''[Scarecrow laughs]''
: '''Six''': I think he went that way.
: '''Rex''': Wait a minute.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: ''[Scarecrow laughs]''
: '''Rex''': I cannot believe I fell for that.
: '''Scarecrow''': Look at you. You're ridiculous. You think he'll come to his senses, realize his true feelings? Then what? You'll settle down. White picket fence. Little agent kids. You're fooling yourself. You're the worst of them... you know that?... Because you know better. You really think you can save the world? None of you can survive what's coming!
: '''Rex''': Prove it's really you. What's my favorite color?
: '''Six''': I have no idea.
: '''Rex''': It's you, all right.
: ''[Dr. Holiday screaming]''
: '''Dr. Holiday''': Put it away. I'm not the EVO.
: '''Six''': We heard you scream.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': That wasn't me.
: '''Six''': Let's all calm down. We can figure this out.
: '''Rex''': Why, Six? Because I'm weak? You don't think I can handle this?
: '''Six''': I never said that.
: '''Rex''': But you think it, right? I don't see you putting down your guns, doc.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': I know it's not me. I'm not sure about you two.
: ''[Scarecrow laughs]''
: '''Scarecrow''': So easy. I barely had to nudge you.
: '''Rex''': Whatever you're after, you're not getting away with it.
: '''Scarecrow''': Get away with it?! Re-e-e-x, I got what I needed in the first five minutes.
: '''Rex''': Then why? Why do all this?
: '''Scarecrow''': Simple. I wanted to do to you what you did to me.
: '''Rex''': I'm done with you!
: ''[Scarecrow groans]''
: '''Scarecrow''': The big hero. Why do you get to forget? It's not fair!
: '''Rex''': Whine, whine, whine. What... you didn't get enough crazy hugs as a kid?
: '''Scarecrow''': You think I'm the only one you hurt? Then tell me--
: '''Skwydd''': What about us? Why'd you betray me? 
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Circe:''' You promised to protect me, Rex. Where were you?
: '''Rex:''' Stop it!
: ''[Rex groans]''
: ''[Rex breathing heavily]''
: '''Caesar''': Face it, bro. It's why I left you. Mom and dad, too.
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Rex''': You're your own worst enemy.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': That's for Rex. That's for Providence. And that was for the kiss.
: '''White Knight''': Providence won this round. No question.
: '''Rex''': They have the real Meechum. Maybe more.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': There's no telling how much of our system Scarecrow uploaded.
: '''Six''': But we have to assume they know everything we do.
: ''[Scarecrow laughs evilly]''
: '''White Knight''': Black Knight is coming for us. It's just a matter of time.
: '''Dr. Holiday''': So? I mean, we knew that. Nothing's changed, right?
: '''Six''': Rex, this is what they wanted-- To turn us against each other.
: '''Rex''': Yeah, and look how easy it was. We thought we were a team, but we're not. We're vulnerable.
: '''Van Kleiss''': It's Heisenberg's uncertainty principle. Looking past Occam's Razor, we can clearly see to a quantum level. A quantum level is what I'm trying to achieve, because if I didn't do the quantum level, then I can understand what's happening.
: '''Caesar''': I know you don't like this, but it's not about us.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': Can you do it? Can you control him?
: '''Caesar''': Leave Van Kleiss to me.
: '''Dr. Meechum''': What about Black Knight? I don't like her, Salazar. Never did.
: '''Caesar''': Trust me, Peter-- When we're finished, the end will justify the means.

===Hermanos===
:'''Rex Salazar''': WH-O-O-O-OA! Unh! Ugh!
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Agent Six''': Be careful, Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm touched by your concern, Six.
:'''Agent Six''': It's not for you. We don't have Providence to pick up the tab anymore. You break it, you buy it.
:''[Rex growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm saving the day here. What are they gonna do--Sue me? Oh, come on! It was a rhetorical question! What was I supposed to do? The whole building was made of glass!
:'''Lawyer''': ''[Hispanic accent]'' Glass? What are you talking about?
:'''Rex Salazar''': I'm... not talking about anything. What are you talking about?
:'''Lawyer''': Mr. Salazar, I'm an associate at the stateside branch of the Argentinean firm Gomez and Gomez. And today, sir, is your lucky day!
:'''Rex Salazar''': What's this?
:'''Lawyer''': It's yours!
:'''Noah Nixon''': No away! This is your house?
:'''Rex Salazar''': I know! According to the lawyer guy, this rancho in Argentina's been in my family forever. And ever since my parents died in the event, those lawyers have been trying to track down the heir. And guess who that is.
:'''Noah Nixon''': You and your brother?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, yeah, right. Him too.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Not a good time, Rex.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Dude, it's never a good time, but you go to-- O...kay, so maybe this really isn't a good time, but this is important. I was being chased by a lawyer. No, I wasn't being sued this time. But you'll never guess what he--
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Is this about the rancho?
:'''Rex Salazar''': You know about it?
:'''Caesar Salazar''': Those lawyers have left me a dozen messages.
:'''Rex Salazar''': And you didn't tell me? Caesar, I never even knew we had this place! There might be photo albums, home movies-- I don't know-- maybe even an old teddy bear or something.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': You never had a teddy bear.
:'''Rex Salazar''': See, the fact that you know that and I don't-- that's why we need to go down there.
:'''Lawyer''': Clear!
:'''Caesar Salazar''': I can't, Rex. My work's already been interrupted once today. Although... Now that you mention the ranch, it does bring back some memories.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Really? Like what?
:'''Caesar Salazar''': There was an experiment I remember mom and dad running. If you could find the notes, it might save some time on the work I'm doing now.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Notes? Come on. Isn't family more important than-- Guess not.
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Why can't I have a normal brother? Know anything about cows? Thanks for coming with me. This is really a family thing, but my brother is, well-- My brother. 
:'''Noah Nixon''': Are you kidding? I'm psyched! I've been killing myself trying to find a birthday present for Claire. A vacation at my best friend's awesome ancestral estate? What other guy could offer her that?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, but then why bring Annie?
:'''Annie''': Um, this just kind of broke off.
:''[Annie, Claire and Noah screaming]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': AAAAAAH!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': I sure hope this isn't included in Six's &quot;You break it, you buy it&quot; policy.
:'''Annie''': Sorry.
:'''Rex Salazar''': No problem. We're here.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Are... you sure this is the place?
:'''Noah Nixon''': What happened to it?
:'''Annie''': Hey, don't look at me. I just got there.
:''[Annie gasps]''
:'''Annie''': Okay, that was me.
:'''Rex Salazar''': I guess this must be my... family.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Looks like you-- But with a 'stache.
:'''Annie''': I like you with a 'stache.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Hey, there are chickens in here!
:'''Annie''': And llamas!
:'''Noah Nixon''': Chicken, llamas-- And a funny-looking bull.
:''[Chiquito snorts]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': I-I-I take it back! You're not funny-looking!
:'''Chiquito''': This place is Durango's!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, actually--
:'''Chuquito''': No fancy talk! Just go!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Ugh! Okay, number one, how is &quot;actually&quot; fancy talk! Number two, I don't know who Durango is, but this farm isn't his. And number three--
:''[Chiquito grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Ugh! Ugh! All right, there's no misunderstanding the international language of getting punched in the face. So read my fist-- Get out of my house!
:'''Chiquito''': Durango will not be happy!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, don't know who that guy was, but problem solved.
:'''Noah Nixon''': Uh, you think? Aah!
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Senior Durango''': Calmate, Chiquito. You are my brother. I would not do anything to hurt mi hermano. Unless you force me to. I cannot lose that tract of land. Without its right of way, I will lose my claim on the rest of the county. But never mind. They will learn-- When you mess with the bull, you get the horns.
:'''Rex Salazar''': OHHH! Ugh!
:'''Noah Nixon''': A chicken just tried to poop on my shoe!
:'''Rex Salazar''': I think I can top you there.
:'''Noah Nixon''': No offense, but when I asked Claire to come here, this wasn't what I was hoping for.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, me either. I mean, I was thinking I'd find-- I don't know what. But everything in this place has been smashed or stolen. Maybe this whole family thing isn't for me.
:''[Noah gasps]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': That's the one!
:'''Claire Bowman''': Please, Noah. It just needed a little help laying an egg.
:'''Rex Salazar''': ''[Chuckling]'' What, did you grow up on a farm in Kansas?
:'''Claire Bowman''': An apartment in Chicago-- Which is where I learned to download videos onto my phone.
:'''Telephone Voice''': When caring for an egg bearing hen, remember to--
:'''Muchado''': Hola? Quien esta aquí?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Uh... hello?
:'''Muchado''': So, you are the Americans? I am Señor Muchado-- The juez.
:'''Claire Bowman''': That's like a judge?
:'''Muchado''': Sí. For all intents and purposes, I am the law in this county-- Which is why I have come here with him.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Good, because I definitely want to press charges.
:'''Muchado''': You misunderstand. I am here because of the trouble you caused for Chiquito.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Chiquito?
:''[Rex chuckles]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Your mom must have some sense of humor to name you &quot;Tiny&quot;.
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:'''Muchado''': Chiquito's brother is Señor Durango. He controls most of the land in this county, including this hacienda. At Señor Durango's request, I have prepared a legal order compelling you to vacate.
:'''Claire Bowman''': But this is Rex's farm.
:'''Annie''': Yeah, he's got a deed and everything.
:'''Muchado''': This might have some bearing-- If you were a Salazar.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Well, we're in luck. I am.
:'''Annie''': Maybe this will help.
:'''Muchado''': You may be a Salazar, but by our law, this land has been deemed abandoned, and Señor Durango has claimed it.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Sorry. Been sort of busy saving the world and stuff. But I'm here now, so consider his claim unclaimed, then reclaimed by me.
:'''Muchado''': It is not so simple. You would have to demonstrate you are actively maintaining the ranch. That means shearing and feeding the animals, bringing your bulls to market--
:'''Rex Salazar''': To market? What, like a... cattle drive?
:'''Claire Bowman''': No problem. We can totally figure out how to do that.
:'''Muchado''': A ranch this size requires at least a dozen hired men.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay, just... uh...
:'''Muchado''': No one within 100 kilometers will help you cross Señor Durango. If you do this, you will do it alone. And you will fail.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Well, that guy was kind of a jerk.
:'''Annie''': Yeah. So, let's get to work.
:'''Noah Nixon''': How? Everything here is broken.
:'''Annie''': Uh, have you seen my house?
:'''Rex Salazar''': You guys don't have to do this.
:'''Claire Bowman''': What kind of friend would walk away now?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Uh... yeah! No way you could stop me from helping take care of these totally not-gross animals. 
:'''Rex Salazar''': Really?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Well, I'm smiling like that's what I mean, aren't?
:''[Noah exhales deeply]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': I can do this! I can't do this. Until I've done my milking warm-up.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Ugh. Hold this.
:'''Telephone Voice''': With you head resting on her flank, gently grasp the udder with the palm of your hand.
:'''Noah Nixon''': AAH!
:''[Claire giggles]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': I think she likes you.
:'''Noah Nixon''': Ugh!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': This is your home. Get in your home!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Whoa! AAAH! AAH! Ugh! This is hopeless! This farm only has one bull, and I can't even get it into the barn. And this... better just be mud.
:'''Annie''': Hang on! I'll help you!
:''[Annie gasps]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': No! Don't!
:'''Noah Nixon''': Are you guys okay?
:'''Claire Bowman''': What is it? A storm cellar?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Looks like some kind of lab.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Figures. My mom and dad were Caesar's parents, too. Of course they'd find a way to take work home with them. Probably where those notes Caesar wanted are. Might as well grab them before the judge kicks us out.
:'''Claire Bowman''': What's he talking about? I think we're doing a pretty good job taking care of the--
:'''Annie''': Uh, guys--
:''[Claire grunts]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': Wait-- Donkeys eat hay, don't they? Maybe we can use it to lure them back into the barn.
:'''Annie''': I got it! Ugh!
:''[Annie gasps]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': Well, on the plus side, at least we now know for sure that donkeys do eat hay.
:'''Rafael Salazar''': One day, these things are going to change the world, and you'll be there to see it.
:'''Violetta Salazar''': ''[chuckling]'' Caesar, please, mi hijo. Stop working for a minute and hold the camera.
:'''Young Caesar Salazar''': Okay! Okay!
:''[Claire sniffs]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': What's that smell?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Which one? Everything here smells.
:'''Claire Bowman''': No, it smells like... smoke!
:'''Annie''': Rex! The straw caught on fire, and it exploded!
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:'''Chiquito''': Hermano! No! Oomph!
:'''Senior Durango''': What were you thinking? I told you to smoke them out, not burn the land! This is my land! If you weren't my brother--
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:'''Senior Durango''': But you are. Come here.
:'''Rex Salazar''': So, you must be the brother. Hope I'm not interrupting some kind of weird tender moment.
:'''Senior Durango''': Soy Durango. And I hope there is still a chance we can reach a resonable agreement.
:'''Claire Bowman''': So, then you'll let Rex keep the farm? We played by the rules.
:'''Senior Durango''': Around here, I make the rules.
:'''Annie''': But the judge said--
:'''Senior Durango''': The judge works for me. Now, please, I'm giving you one last chance to leave.
:'''Noah Nixon''': Okay, sure! Oh, wait-- That's right. Your fire blew up what was left of our plane!
:'''Rex Salazar''': Uh, let me handle the trash-talking with the 20-foot-tall monster EVO, okay? Leave them out of this! They shouldn't even be here! It should have been my brother!
:'''Senior Durango''':  That is why you will lose your farm. Without family, a man is nothing. After all, what is this land to them?
:'''Rex Salazar''': I don't even know what this place is to me. I came here hoping to find out more about who my family is.
:''[Rex start looking at Noah, Claire and Annie, and smile to them]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': And I did. So, you're going to stop threatening them-- And me-- And get off my land.
:''[Durango snarls]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Okay. Here's the plan-- Stay behind me! Whoa! Ugh!
:'''Noah Nixon''': Well, there goes that plan.
:'''Senior Durango''': Hurt them. You can do that, can't you?
:'''Claire Bowman''': W-what do we do now?!
:'''Annie''': The only one of us with powers just got kicked to the curb.
:'''Noah Nixon''': That depends on what you mean by &quot;powers&quot;.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:''[Rex muffled grunting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Not a good time, Caesar.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': I just wanted to tell you-- Forget about those notes. I realized that's not what's important about you going down there.
:''[Durango snarls]''
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Wow, Caesar. I can't believe you came around.
:'''Caesar Salazar''': I just realized-- The really important thing is, if you happen to find a termo-chronometer I remember having down there, it would save me from ordering one.
:''[Chiquito snarls]''
:''[Chiquito growls]''
:''[Chiquito snarls, roars]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': Ugh!
:''[Chiquito snorts]''
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:[''On videotape of the Salazar family]''
:'''Rafael Salazar''': One day these things are going to change the world and you'll be there to see it.
:'''Violetta Salazar''': Cesar, please miquito. Stop working for a minute and hold the camera.
:'''Young Caesar Salazar''': Okay, okay.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Noah Nixon''': This morning, I almost had to touch a cow's underparts. You think you can do me worse than that? Bring it.
:''[Chiquito snarls]''
:''[Chiquito roars]''
:'''Annie''': Ugh! I didn't mean for that to happen.
:'''Claire Bowman''': We did.
:'''Rex Salazar''': AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Ugh! AAAAAAAAAAARGH!
:'''Senior Durango''': OOMPH!
:''[Durango lows]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': WH-O-O-O-O-O-O O-OA!
:''[Durango lows]''
:''[Durango snorts]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': AAAAAAAAH!
:''[Durango growls]''
:''[Durango growls]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': Trust me-- My brother's let me down way worse. But what am I gonna do? He's my brother.
:'''Senior Durango''': It is over.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Nice ego there, but I've been hit a lot harder.
:''[Durango spits]''
:'''Senior Durango''': Those bells signal the market is ending soon. I can see you have yet to herd you cattle there.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Oh, come on! The one cattle I've got doesn't even move!
:'''Senior Durango''': If you do not have your cattle to market before it ends, you will have failed to fulfill your deed, and this land will be mine.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Then I guess I don't have any time to waste talking about it.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Come on. Come here.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Forget it. I got this.
:'''Claire Bowman''': WHOO-HOO! Yes! Go, Rex!
:''[Rex grunting]''
:'''Claire Bowman''': Where's Durango?
:'''Rex Salazar''': OWW! Come on! You don't move the whole time, and you can't stay still?
:''[Durango grunting]''
:'''Noah Nixon''': What is this, a western? You're actually trying to stop him with a rockslide?
:'''Senior Durango''': You? Here? How is that even possible?
:'''Telephone Voice''': Donkeys can be ridden surprinsingly fast if you--
:'''Noah Nixon''': Come on! Just give up! The farm belong to Rex. And I really want to get off this thing.
:'''Senior Durango''': You think I'm afraid of you ''[scoffs]'' boy?
:'''Claire Bowman''': Oh, it's not the boy you should be afraid of.
:'''Annie''': Oops.
:''[Durango grunting]''
:'''Senior Durango''': Ugh!
:''[Rex panting]''
:'''Rex Salazar''': We sheared the llamas, we milked the cows, I got the bull to town. We did everything in the deed.
:'''Muchado''': Sí, sí. But more important, you faced Durango and won! Once the other ranchers hear of this, they won't be afraid. You have broken Durango's hold on our lands.
:'''Rex Salazar''': Wait-- You're... happy about that?
:'''Muchado''': Of course. I told you exactly what you had to do to legally gain control of the land, didn't I?
:'''Rex Salazar''': Huh. I guess you did.
:'''Claire Bowman''': Wow! Can you believe how you perfect this all worked out?
:'''Noah Nixon''': Yeah, uh, so, maybe we should get out of here before we wear out our welcome.
:'''Rex Salazar''': There's just one thing I want to do first.

===The Rescue===
:''Note'': Rex goes alone to rescue his girlfriend Circe from the clutches of Black Knight. but it turns out she has been waiting for him.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Alone Together===
:''Note'': Finally together at last, Rex and Circe reminiscence about their good and hard times together ans their romance begins to grow.
===Retribution===
===Temporary Insanity===

===Crime and Punishment===
:''Note:'' His false insanity revealed, Van Kleiss abducts Circe with the intent of punishing her for betraying him, due to her enduring love for Rex.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, Circe, you shall learn the ultimate price of betraying me.
:'''Rex:''' ''Leave her alone!!''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, Rex. For young love. One of your greatest weaknesses. After I finish off your beloved, you will no longer be a hindrance to me. 
:'''Rex''' (''enraged'')''':''' I ''said''...LEAVE HER ALONE!!!
&lt;hr width80%&gt;

===Shadowed Past===

===Separation Anxiety===
===Brotherly Love===

===Rocky My World===
:'''Beverly:''' Oh, this is so awesome! We're seeing the Trendbenders live!
:'''Rex:''' Well, maybe not see them, but we'll totally hear them.
:'''Sebastian''': Attention! The Trendbenders will be arriving through the back of the club.
:'''Beverly:''' Slick trick! Yes, Rebecca. I know! Only drink the bottled water. No, we're not that close to the stage. Ugh! I know that's where they mosh-pit. Don't worry! Bye!
:'''Rex:''' Your sister is acting like your mother. I wouldn't put up with it. Doc?! I'm right next to her! Yes, we've got earplugs. Only bottled water-- I know! Yes, you'll pick us up at 11:00. Okay! Bye!
:'''Sly:''' ''[singing]'' I met a guy who has looking for a lucky break. I met a guy mad he wouldn't make a mistake. No loser here the weight would be upon his face. This ain't no lucky break it's just another day.
:'''Beverly:''' Hey!
:'''Rex:''' There's something wrong with that guy.
:'''Beverly:''' Yeah! It's called lack of social skills.
:'''Sebastian:''' We have to talk! You got to listen to me!
:'''Rex:''' I think they're a little too busy for a chat right now.
:'''Sebastian:''' It's me! Your first fan!
:'''Rex:''' Come on, dude. Can't you just watch the show, like everyone else?
:'''Sly:''' ''[singing]'' You won't bring me down. Yeah-yeah-yeah. You won't bring me down.
:'''Sebastian:''' I'm not just everyone else.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' You want to rethink trying to stop me?
:'''Beverly:''' Whoa! Geek in triplicate!
:'''Rex:''' More like EVO geek.
:'''Sebastian:''' I bet you're not even a real fan!
:'''Rex:''' Hey, I know their music!
:'''Sebastian:''' Yeah? What album is &quot;Bitten on the Wind&quot; from?
:'''Beverly:''' Uh, their first album.
:'''Sebastian:''' Wrong! Their third! Poser!
:'''Sly:''' Here's one from our first album-- &quot;Bitten on the Wind.&quot;
:'''Beverly:''' Told ya! Their first album! Who's the poser now?
:'''Sebastian:''' But it is their third. They keep denying their first two albums exist!
:'''Rex:''' Huh?
:''[Rex bones cracking]''
:'''Rex:''' Shouldn't you be home, making sure your mom isn't snooping around your basement? Ouch! All right, I've had enough.
:'''Sebastian:''' I know you. You're that guy from Providence that beats up on EVOs.
:'''Rex:''' And I'm guessing you're not one of my fans.
:'''Sebastian:''' This isn't over! They still need me to show them the way back. I'll make them listen to me.. No matter what! Ugh!
:'''Man:''' No re-entry without a hand stamp.
:'''Rex:''' Uh, but--
:'''JoJo:''' It's okay. He's with me. I'm JoJo, the band's manager.
:'''Beverly:''' Oh! Sly Tyler, vocals, six-stringer. Burrito Beau on the big bottom, and Leon Adler on the skins.
:'''Beau:''' Bass. Drums.
:'''Beverly:''' They're even cutter up close!
:'''JoJo:''' But Sebastian isn't. And now that fruitcake fan has become a major menace.
:'''Rex:''' You know who that guy is?
:'''Sly:''' Yeah, he's one of our first fans from way back.
:'''Leon:''' But he didn't like our change in music direction.
:'''Beau:''' Change, like in popular.
:'''Sly:''' So he started sending us nasty e-mails and slagging us on the fan sites.
:'''JoJo:''' But now he's turned violent, and it turns out he's... H-he's...
:'''Rex:''' An EVO that can multiply himself.
:'''JoJo:''' We can't handle that kind of threat, but you can.
:'''Beverly:''' Is this a job offer?
:'''JoJo:''' As head of security for the rest of the tour.
:'''Rex:''' Huh, I don't know. Putting up with groupies, great music, catering, the Rock'n'roll lifestyle-- Oh, right, like I'm not totally in for this!
:'''Beverly:''' And I'm your deputy, sheriff.
:'''Sly:''' Absolutely.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Absolutely not.
:'''Rex:''' They've got an EVO threat.
:''[Dr. Holiday sighs]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Fine, Rex. Beverly? And don't forget to use earplugs.
:'''Rex:''' Private jet to the next gig? Airline-- First class? Coach?
:'''JoJo:''' Of the road kind.
:'''Rex:''' Traveling the open road, bringing music to the people. Where to next?
:'''Beau:''' Eugene, Oregon. ''[Unenthusiastically]'' WHOO-HOO!
:'''Rex:''' Ow!
:'''Leon:''' Bad seat. Got a lot of them.
:''[Beau farts]''
:''[Rex sniffs]''
:'''Leon and Rex:''' Oh!
:''[Leon coughs]''
:'''Leon:''' Isn't the ozone layer depleted enough, Beau?
:'''Rex:''' Want to hit the streets and check out the local scene?
:'''Sly:''' Seriously, man? It's just another town.
:'''Beau:''' Been there. Seen them all.
:'''TV Announcer:''' He's currently under 3, 2 behind the leader. This is a very tricky--
:'''Rex:''' Oh, let's throw this in the pool!
:'''Leon:''' Hey, I'm watching something, dude!
:'''Rex:''' How about a food fight?
:'''Sly:''' Sorry, man. Not feeling it.
:'''Rex:''' This isn't feeling very Rock'n'Roll.
:'''JoJo:''' Rex, we hired you to consult on security, not rock-tour clichés.
:'''Sebastian:''' Room service.
:'''JoJo:''' Again? You guys, this is costing too much.
:'''Sly:''' But we didn't order anything else.
:'''Sebastian:''' That's okay. This is on the house!
:''[Sebastian grunts]''
:''[JoJo gasps]''
:'''Rex:''' Look out! He's got... Paperwork?
:'''Sebastian:''' I've got notes and visuals on where you've gone commercial and how you can get back to your roots! He's with the band now? He's not even a real fan! You see? You've got to come with me. You need my help!
:'''Rex:''' They're not going anywhere, but you are!
:'''Sebastian:''' My copies don't feel pain.
:'''Rex:''' But you do!
:'''Girl:''' Whoa! You must really be a big fan!
:'''Sebastian:''' Only of their early stuff.
:'''Girl:''' Eww! Their early stuff is weak.
:'''Teen girl:''' But their new songs are awesome!
:''[Girls giggling]''
:''[Sebastian growls]''
:''[Girls screaming]''
:'''Rex:''' Excuse me. I'm with the band.
:'''Teen girl:''' But you missed your ride.
:'''Rex:''' That's okay. I've got my own.
:'''Man:''' Rock bands! Never again!
:'''Sebastian:''' I've got to take you away from this sellout existence, where you deny your first two albums even exist.
:'''Sly:''' B-but those albums weren't any good. That's why we only had a few fans, like you.
:'''Rex:''' If there's only three of them, then who's driving the car?
:'''Sebastian:''' Aah!
:'''Rex:''' Did he... Ah! Rent that car from the circus? Time to cut this act short.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' Oh, man. I went to my first Trendbenders show in that car.
:'''Rex:''' Maybe I can't turn off your obsession, but I can shut down your nanites.
:'''Beau:''' That clone-boy?
:'''Rex:''' I don't think he's going to be a problem now.
:'''JoJo:''' We can still use you on the tour. What did you say?
:'''Rex:''' Yes!
:'''Sly:''' Good man! ''[singing]'' You see the light, and it's oh, so bright, a million times more than before, now we'll show you the door, some starts fade, and some starts shine, the bright ones stand the test of time, the others burn out and sing, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, kill your radio, you live a life for all to see, sometimes it's right, sometimes obscene, now you're the enemy, it's one for all and all for me, unlocking doors and misery, the others burn out and sing, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, out of time, kill your radio, out of time, kill your radio, out of time, kill your radio, it isn't all, that it's cracked up to be, I never thought it'd be so easy, I wouldn't have it any other way, you see the light, and it's oh, so bright, a million times more than before, now we'll show you the door, some starts fade, and some starts shine, the bright ones stand the test of time, the others burn out and sing, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, &quot;yeah, we almost made it&quot;, &quot;yeah, but we're overrated&quot;, out of time, kill your radio, &quot;yeah&quot;.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Sly:''' At least we got a day off before the next gig.
:'''JoJo:''' Guys, a club owner in fleeceburg just offered us amazing money. I booked it.
:'''Rex:''' For when?
:'''JoJo:''' We're already running late.
:'''Sly:''' They're paying money for us to play in this dump?
:'''JoJo:''' Big money. Come on. You're on in ten minutes.
:'''Rex:''' I'm guessing ticket sales are a little slow.
:'''Leon:''' Are we breaking up?
:'''Beau:''' This dive seems awfully familiar.
:'''Sebastian:''' It should.
:'''Rex:''' That voice seems awfully familiar!
:'''Teens:''' Dude! Nobody move! What's going on? Who's touching me? What is this? Excuse me. What is going on?
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' I built an exact replica of the first club you played in.
:'''Beau:''' Hey, that's one of my puke stains. Fruitcake knows his details.
:'''Rex:''' But I cured you.
:'''Sebastian:''' Hmm... That was a copy, not the original.
:'''Sly:''' Whatever. When's this gonna end, fan-boy?
:'''Sebastian:''' It ends tonight. Check the floor at your feet.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Sebastian:''' I've given up trying to get you back to your roots. So now you'll play what I want to hear for the next hour. And then your career ends with a bang. :'''Sly:''' On behalf of the band, I'd like to thank our manager, JoJo, for booking this totally insane gig!
:''[JoJo laughs nervously]''
:'''Sebastian:''' The sound of cold, hard cash is the only music sellouts like you listen to anymore.
:'''Rex:''' They're not sellouts. They just got more popular than you wanted.
:'''Sebastian:''' You try anything, and I'll end their last gig prematurely. You're only alive because I want you to see what the Trendbenders used to be like. For the next hour give me the early stuff, when you were cool.
:'''Sly:''' Why bother? You're gonna nuke us, anyway.
:'''Sebastian:''' Because if you don't play, this happens!
:'''Sly:''' Aah!
:'''Leon, Sly and Beau:''' No more!
:'''Sly:''' Okay, dude, what's the first number?
:'''Sebastian:''' &quot;Crawling undertow&quot;!
:'''Sly:''' Well, how does it feel?
:'''Sebastian:''' First album, seventh song. Fifth song on the Japanese import.
:'''Sly:''' To get that weight back on our shoulders--
:'''Sebastian:''' You're giving it a beat that wasn't in the original, man! Not even in the remix from the box set. Play it right this time! I'm missing the concert because of you!
:'''Rex:''' Stinks to be you. Got to cure the real Sebastian. But which one is the mother ship?
:'''Sebastian:''' You can't even play your old songs like you used to. Total disappointment. Let's end this bummer concert.
:'''Sly:''' But we still have over a half-hour left!
:'''Sebastian:''' Last song, no encore.
:'''Rex:''' Tell me who's the original, or I'll turn you into dessert topping!
:'''Sebastian:''' You don't scare me. I don't feel pain.
:'''Rex:''' But the real Sebastian does. Sly! Maximum feedback! Now! Thanks, Doc.
:'''Sebastian''': AAAHHHH!
:'''Rex:''' How do you like their new hit, Sebastian Prime? Here's another new groove you're not going to like.
:'''Sebastian:''' Aah!
:'''Rex:''' Congrats. You're back to being a solo act.
:'''Sebastian:''' You've got to listen to me!
:''[Sebastian yelling]''
:'''Rex:''' Kidnapping, assault and battery, construction without a permit-- that should keep him away for years.
:'''JoJo:''' Have to say it, guys, but we've got a gig in toledo to get to. Security?
:'''Rex:''' Not anymore. Sebastian's done, and so am I.
:'''Sly:''' Dude, I thought you wanted the rock'n'roll lifestyle.
:'''Rex:''' I'm not tough enough for it. I need to get back to something easier, like city-smashing EVOs and conspiracies to take over the world.
:'''Beau:''' Don't know what your missing.
:'''Rex:''' I think do. But I don't miss this. Yes, doc? Don't need my earplugs anymore. I quit. Will you let me tell you? No, the EVO threat wasn't just an excuse. Well, I'm coming back! Will you let-- Doc!

===Lost and Found===

===My Brother's Keeper===

===Target: the Consortium===
: '''Jungle Cat:''' You are...?
: '''Rex:''' Rex. Rex Salazar. What are you?
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Lost... and found.
: '''Rex:''' HUNH! AAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
: ''[Rex gasps deeply]''
: '''Rex:''' Whoa. That was a total zero on the fun meter.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Learning how to communicate with the nanite world isn't about fun. Did you get anywhere at all?
: '''Rex:''' Don't know. I connected with a Master Control Nanite for a second, and then I lost it. But I also got, like, this feeling that something's about to happen in the nanite world. Something... big.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Argh! This is Rylander's speciality, not mine. There's no way I can cover for him.
: '''Caesar:''' Not to worry, Dr. Meechum. You won't have to any longer. Dr. Rylander will take over from here.
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Oh, really, Caesar? From his current location of beyond the grave?
: '''Rylander:''' Actually, Peter, I was never completely dead-- just spread a little thin-- ''[chuckling]'' Moleculary speaking. Caesar's been working on putting me back together.
: '''Black Knight:''' All of them together-- At last. Contact the Consortium. We now have something to show them. Something big.
: '''White Knight:''' Even having two of the Master Control Nanites doesn't change the vital importance of finding the other three. But the latest intel I've received could give us a way to neutralize the group obsessed with these machines.
: '''Six:''' The Consortium.
: '''Rex:''' Aren't those the money guys that bankrolled the Nanite Project in Providence?
: '''White Knight:''' The same. Formerly made-up of six members, but now five-- Reddick, made his wealth in real estate and construction. Vostock, black market finance and KGB... Zanubian, arms dealing and shipping. Roswell, oil and minerals. Anthony Haden-Scott, worldwide media.
: ''[Rex munches]''
: '''Rex:''' Should we be writing this down for the pop quiz later?
: '''White Knight:''' You may be facing them soon because of the efforts of our stealthiest agent.
: '''Rex:''' Mm! Thank you! I think.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' He's not talking about you.
: '''Rex:''' Hey! It's Evo-cat guy! Uh... sorry-- What's your name? O...kay, cat with no collar, what's in the sack? Bunch of canaries? Well, that's... something.
: '''White Knight:''' Our associate has been tracking the Consortium with a little help from a former member.
: '''Rex:''' I remember him! He's the one Rylander got revenge on with an EVO love letter.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' That he never recovered from. But he's still full of useful knowledge about the other members.
: '''Rex:''' As long as you have a towel handy for the answers.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' The Consortium has financed a new facility for nanite research. All of them will be at that location within the next six hours.
: '''Six:''' And so will we.
: '''White Knight:''' A rare opportunity like this can't be missed. You three will capture the Consortium and bring them to a secure location. Understood?
: '''Rex:''' Purrfectly.
: '''Black Knight:''' Gentlemen, I wanted you here today to--
: '''Reddick:''' &quot;Wanted?&quot; Sounds like a command.
: '''Vostok:''' ''[Russian accent]'' You get to ask, not order.
: '''Black Knight:''' I'm sorry. Let me restate. I asked you here because I can now present some major developments in your quest. I finished construction on the nanite reactor and reassembled against all odds the original science team to run it. Doctors Meechum, systems expert. Salazar, artificial intelligence. Rylander, microengineering. And Van Kleiss, biomechanical integration.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Nanite's recorder locked in. Hologram Rylander saves money on meals. Glow, glow, glow, yipper.
: ''[Van Kleiss smooches]''
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' A human flashlight and a brain-fried babbler. This is what I'm supposed to work with.
: '''Vostok:''' Looks like your geniuses have some issues.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' ''[British accent]'' I seem to recall there were two other Salazars on the team.
: '''Black Knight:''' They're dead-- And just as well. Considering their actions are responsible for our setbacks, I highly doubt they would have cooperated.
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Black Pawns:''' Ohh!
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' Black Pawns got to talk to their costume designer. Way too stuffy.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Be quiet.
: '''Six:''' Our target?
: '''Roswell:''' ''[Southern accent]'' Little lady, I'm hoping you didn't get me out here just to watch some lab jockeys do their homework.
: '''Vostok:''' I know I've got better things to do.
: '''Black Knight:''' Aside from the all-important reassembly of the science team and activation of the nanite reactor, I do have another development to show you.
: '''Roswell:''' Yeah? What else you got?
: '''Black Knight:''' An acquisition.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Lost... and found.
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' What's wrong with you?
: '''Rex:''' Forget the Consortium! I know where we can find a Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Six:''' Where?
: '''Rex''': Here.
: '''Six:''' We're doing both. You two get the nanite, I'll get the Consortium.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' On of the five? That's all?
: '''Reddick:''' You know we need all of the Master-Control Nanites to do us any good.
: '''Vostok:''' What about the two you lost? And the other two still out there?
: '''Black Knight:''' We'll have the other four in due time. Take this back to the vault. But remember that each one has its own useful powers. : '''Roswell:''' Not enough to drag me all the way out there, little lady.
: '''Black Knight:''' &quot;Black Knight&quot;.
: '''Black Pawns:''' You're not one of us.
: '''Six:''' Stay clear of the Pawns. They're not buying our cover. Repeat-- Stay clear of the Pawns.
: '''Rex:''' Steel door. A vault!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' That was close.
: '''Rex:''' Got it. Have to be as stealthy as you from now on.
: ''[Jungle Catsnarls]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarling]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Van Kleiss!
: ''[Jungle Cat muffled grunting]''
: '''Rex:''' Way not to be stealthy. Sorry, cat guy. I know you want payback for him turning you into stone and all, but the nanite is more important.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Security alert. Intruder.
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' You find the nanite. I'll be a diversion.
&lt;hr width80%&gt;
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' She has shown us some progress. That one nanite is significant in itself.
: '''Reddick:''' It's all five or nothing. Or are you thinking of working a separate deal with the one?
: '''Vostok:''' Can we please not talk like this while those two are in the room?
: '''Roswell:''' Yeah, Xanubian, put a sock in all your yammerin'.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Another intruder at security zone three. It's Agent Six.
: '''Rex:''' Gotcha.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Unh! Aah!
: '''Rex:''' I'll take that. Six! I've got the nanite!
: '''Six:''' Meet your outside.
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Rex:''' I've got it! Let's scat, cat!
: '''Black Knight:''' If he's here-- So is Rex. Vault security, come in.
: '''Reddick:''' Is there a problem?
: '''Black Knight:''' A minor security issue. I'm taking care of it.
: '''Vostok:''' ''[Russian accent]'' You better, little lady.
: '''Rex:''' Well, mission half accomplished.
: '''Six:''' This should complete it.
: '''Rex:''' You planted a bomb?!
: '''Six:''' Plan &quot;B&quot;.
: '''Rex:''' The cat! He's still inside! No!! We've got to go back for the cat! He's on his own mission. Van Kleiss is there.
: '''Six:''' Understood.
: '''Black Pawns:''' Black Knight, shouldn't we evacuate?
: '''Black Knight:''' The security threat has been removed. Among other things. Track them, find them.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Interlace template, instal copper buffers, hold the mayo, set core temp, heat cold fries.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Remember me?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Someone let the cat in.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' You cast me aside as if I was garbage. Turned me to stone. Drained me of life-- Almost. Now it's your turn to suffer.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Had a kitty once. Not you. Bubbles liked catnip and parsnips. Chapped lips. Hip, hip, hooray!
: ''[Jungle Cat growls]''
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' If you're here to clean up, ask for directions, not Dr. Screwloose.
: '''Rex:''' Ugh! Meechum. Bro. He's here to put Van Kleiss out of the world's misery. Give me a reason why he shouldn't.
: ''[Jungle Cat growls]''
: '''Rylander:''' Because the world needs him right now, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' Dr. Rylander! How did you--
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Rex:''' You got it to work.
: '''Rylander:''' I've looked better, I'll admit, but I'm still very much alive. And so happy to see you again.
: '''Rex:''' If you could bring him back--
: '''Caesar:''' Sorry, Rex. It won't work for mom and dad.
: '''Rex:''' So, you've come back-- But you're working for them! It seems crazy, I know, but look at our progress-- The nanite reactor is almost operational.
: '''Rex:''' Not if I destroy it.
: '''Black Knight:''' Surround them.
: '''Caesar:''' Trust me, hermano, We're doing the right thing.
: '''Rex:''' You keep saying that, but I don't believe it anymore!
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Bubbles, I'm sorry. Here, kitty, kitty. Left you out in the rain, rain go away--
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarling]''
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Ugh! Easy on the hot sauce, Peter, Peter pumpkin two seater.
: '''Rylander:''' Tell him, Caesar.
: '''Rex:''' Tell me what?
: '''Six:''' Revenge time is up.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: ''[Jungle Cat roars]''
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Aah! Careful! Our work! Ugh! Take it outside!
: '''Rex:''' Ugh!
: ''[Rex grunting]''
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Rex. Rex Salazar.
: '''Rex:''' I can't talk now! Ugh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Thank you.
: '''Rex:''' You're so not welcome.
: '''Black Knight:''' You should have left when you had the chance.
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' You guys have such a great cafeteria.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Had to come back for more.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Aah! Unh!
: '''Six:''' Unh!
: ''[Black Knight grunting]''
: '''Black Knight:''' Unh!
: '''Six:''' UNNNNNNNNH!
: '''Black Knight:''' Ugh!
: ''[Jungle Cat snarls]''
: '''Rex:''' Let's say adiós.
: '''Six:''' There's still plan &quot;B&quot;.
: '''Rex:''' We're not assassins.
: '''Six:''' You're not. This might be our one chance.
: '''Rex:''' To be like them? Then what makes us different?
: '''Six:''' Go. I'm right behind you.
: '''Roswell:''' You brought us into an ambush! Right behind you, Mr. Chatterbox.
: '''Vostok:''' You are cowards.
: '''Reddick:''' Graveyards are full of dummies that thought they were though.
: '''Vostok:''' Black Knight, we have a lot to discuss about your future.
: '''Black Knight:''' By all means, let's talk.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Where's Six?
: '''Rex:''' He said he was right behind us.
: '''Six:''' I am. The Consortium still has to be dealt with.
: '''Rex:''' We now have three Master Control Nanites. I'd say the Consortium has to deal with us.
: '''Six:''' Understood.
: '''Jungle Cat:''' Purrfectly.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' I'm shocked. What happened?
: '''Black Knight:''' It seems Vostok had an unfortunate run-in with our intruders as he was leaving. But, there's good news. The reactor is gone. Soon we will have all the nanites we need.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' &quot;We&quot;?
: '''Black Knight:''' I think it's time we walked about my promotion.

===Convergence===
===Enter the Nanite World===

===Enemies Mine===
: '''Valve:''' Battle is to be waged between your courage and my power. You lose.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Valve, my friend. Lovely day for a riot, don't you think?
: '''Valve:''' What do you want, Gatlocke?
: '''Gatlocke:''' I want lots of things-- A doomsday weapon, my own private island, for my mom to stop calling me to fix her computer. But what I really want is to give you a message. It's time. I suppose I'll make the introductions.
: '''Valve:''' A biker needs no introduction. And everyone knows Hunter Cain.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Everything is going according to plan. We get one more thing. Then we get wrecked.
: '''Rex:''' Sorry we're late.
: '''Bobo:''' We're not late. We're fashionably early.
: '''Providence Agent:''' I was starting to think I was on my own. I've been calling for help, but  Providence hasn't answered.
: '''Six:''' What set this off?
: '''Providence Agent:''' No idea. One moment everything was fine. The next moment, complete chaos.
: '''Rex:''' I'm heading in. I'll lock up when I'm done. Oh, don't bother getting up. I'm just gonna knock you back down again.
: '''Bobo:''' Back in your cages, you filthy animals!
: '''Rex:''' Huh? What? You? It's a who's-who of old EVOs. Whew! Really not in the mood for this. You're kidding me. You?!
: '''Gatlocke:''' Three men, one objective, no rules. Oh, this is exciting, isn't it? Or is it just me?
: '''Valve:''' The others are saying that Rex is here. Rex will get his when we're ready.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Watch yourselves. This one's unpredictable. We know what you want, No-Face. Then we can give it to you. Do what we say. Then you'll get Rex. You'll get the chance to tear Rex apart. Piece by piece. Now we're ready.
: '''Rex:''' So you remember who I am. Surprised you have a big enough brain for that. These cells are pretty dull. Let's redecorate. No way I'm letting an EVO get won over on me. Especially a big old frog.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Almost out. Freedom is just a... Bottomless ravine away.
: '''Valve:''' The biker begs the question, how are we getting across?
: '''Gatlocke:''' You know that's not really how begging the question is supposed to be used. Are we kidding? Anyone who gets worked up over that phrase needs to be savagely beaten.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' This'll override the drawbridge system.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Ooh, now how would someone like you procure something like that?
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Friends and hide places.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, frog legs. Let's put you in solitary confinement.
: '''Bobo:''' Do you look like you got run over by an overstuffed garbage truck?
: '''Rex:''' Feels like it. This is a prison riot. Where's Providence? They should be all over this.
: '''Six:''' They never responded to any calls.
: '''Rex:''' It's a setup. Providence wanted this to happen. But why?
: '''Six:''' Six here. Go ahead.
: '''Rex:''' Wait. This bridge wasn't down before.
: '''Bobo:''' Yeah. About that. Some of the prisoners escaped together. Gatlocke...
: '''Rex:''' That's bad.
: '''Bobo:''' Hunter Cain...
: '''Rex:''' That's even worse!
: '''Bobo:''' Valve.
: '''Rex:''' That's... Really? Valve?
: '''Bobo:''' Yeah. And No-Face.
: '''Rex:''' Those four are loose? Together?
: '''Six:''' We've got a bigger problem.
: '''Rex:''' How can it be bigger than this?
: '''Six:''' The EVOs in the city-- The only thing keeping them tame are their control collars.
: '''Rex:''' And this is a problem because...?
: '''Six:''' Because someone has shut them all down.
: '''Rex:''' Let me get that for you.
: '''Bobo:''' Dumpster dog. Considering you used to ride around in the Paris, I guess you're moving up in the world. Main to your mud.
: '''Six:''' Are you injured?
: '''Rex:''' Just worn out. Is this day over yet?
: '''Bobo:''' Oh! Signs pointing no.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? That came from the track. Can you handle things here?
: '''Bobo:''' Only one way to find out. Valve. Those nanite superchargers you keep using are bad for your health.
: '''Valve:''' If I were you, I'd be more concerned with your own short-term health.
: '''Rex:''' Please, like I have anything to worry about from you. The other three, they're dangerous. You, you're just comedy relief.
: '''Valve:''' I am not. Comedy relief.
: '''Rex:''' Well, you're not funny, that's for sure.
: '''Valve:''' Like the road that continues on, so must the biker.
: '''Rex:''' Where did he go so? Ew! Get away from my tacos, cockroach! Huh? You running away? I'll give you this much, Valve. Maybe you're getting smarter.
: '''No-Face:''' Unlike you.
: '''Rex:''' I put you away once, No-Face. I'll do it again.
: '''No-Face:''' The one who makes machines. The one we've been waiting for.
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Figures you try to shoot a guy in the back.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' All I see is a filthy EVO.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, first off, that Lai is tired. Second off, last time I checked, you're teaming up with one. Would that make you an EVO lover? All this hide and seek is wearing me down! Huh? Figures.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Leaving so soon? That's not going to impress the hiring committee. Now, let's see what we have here. &quot;Honor roll, A/V Club.&quot; Ugh. &quot;Glee Club.&quot; ''[Scoffs]'' I'm going to have to be brutally honest with you. You're perfect for my gang. Can you sing soprano? My last soprano drove his motorcycle off a cliff. He survived, but his voice was never the same. By the way, can you fly? This is quite the surprise. I'm willing to hire you, Rex, but you better have some excellent references.
: '''Rex:''' Back to prison, Gatlocke!
: '''Gatlocke:''' Then consider the offer rescinded! You could be a valued member of my gang. It's a tough job market out there, you know?
: '''Rex:''' I'd never work for you!
: '''Gatlocke:''' No, not with that attitude, you wouldn't. Welcome to my gang. Your first task is to destroy Rex-- That guy right there.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Gatlocke:''' Your second task is to complete harassment training. I teach the class. This pamphlet explains everything.
: '''Rex:''' No, no, no!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, come in. What's happening?
: '''Rex:''' One really bad day.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Your nanite readings are off the charts.
: '''Rex:''' No surprise. I've been fighting and curing EVOs non stop.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' We need to upload your nanites immediately.
: '''Rex:'''  Now? Doc, my four worst enemies are still on the loose. Well, my three worst enemies in Valve. Plus the city's in chaos. And where in the world is Providence? How come they're not here dealing with this?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Six and Bobo can mop up the last few EVOs. You have to offload.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, fine. But we better make it fast.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You'll be locked in the chamber for one hour.
: '''Rex:''' Just do it, Doc.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' This could be a long sixty minutes.
: '''Valve:''' According to the tracking bug, Rex is inside.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Gentlemen, this is what we've been waiting for. It's time for Rex to die.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' They followed him.
: '''Gatlocke:''' After we kill Rex. We should work together and form a team call ourselves... Gatlocke and the kitty cats.
: '''Valve:''' Silence your mouth or the biker will silence it for you.
: '''Gatlocke:''' Oh, Valve. You can pretend to be angry, but deep down, you know you're a kitty cat.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' They know we're here.
: '''Gatlocke:''' You're quite feisty. Have you ever considered a career in the fast growing field of post apocalyptic gangs?
: '''Valve:''' She has spirit. Valve the biker will see that spirit crushed.
: '''Gatlocke:''' You're Gatlocke's favorite kitty cat. Hmm. Rrr.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Don't follow her. She's trying to lead us away from Rex. Rex is close-by.
: '''Valve:''' Rex's chamber... Five minutes to spare.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' More than enough time.
: '''Gatlocke:''' I could have sworn that we'd agreed to take Rex out together.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' I'm changing the terms of the deal if you have a problem with that, feel free to stand right where you are. I've waited a long time for this. Rex!
: '''Valve:''' Empty? Or a trick of the mind?
: '''Rex:''' Isn't that obvious? Then again, that tracking bug you stuck on me was obvious, too. And the fake countdown? Obvious. It only took me thirty minutes to upload my nanites. You wanted to run me ragged so you could get me. Instead, here you are all in one place. Gotcha!
: '''Valve:''' UGHH!
: '''Rex:''' UGHHHH! I still don't get why you enlisted Valve. I mean, he's really a third-string bad guy.
: '''Valve:''' Valve is the biker. A biker is dangerous.
: '''Rex:''' Hmm. Yeah. No.
: '''Valve:''' Rrrr!
: '''Rex:''' So unpredictable. Like a third-string bad guy.
: '''Valve:''' AAAAH!
: '''Gatlocke:''' I have a horrible sneaking suspicion that he's winning.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' Then do something about it!
: '''Gatlocke:''' Don't have to yell. A kind word will get you much further.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Gatlocke:''' UGHHH! Oh! Oh! Oh ho ho! Ouch! My back! My front and my back! OHH! This is total, total agony!
: ''[Gatlocke gasps]''
: '''Gatlocke:''' ''[Calmly]'' I'm okay. Really. I'm fine.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' You're lucky. I'll give you that. But you're only delaying the inevitable. You can't beat us all!
: '''Rex:''' I never intended to. This offload facility? I reprogrammed it. My surplus nanites aren't being stored. They're powering the shield.
: '''Hunter Cain:''' It's a trap!
: '''Rex:''' Have fun keeping each other company!
: '''Bobo:''' What a day.
: '''Rex:''' You know, none of this would have happened if Providence hadn't released the convicts and turned out all those EVOs.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' They did that to keep you busy.
: '''Rex:''' Keep me busy from what?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' The Nanite Project. We just found out. While we dealt with the EVOs, Black Knight got her hands on another Master-Control Nanite.
: '''Rex:''' Then it's time.

===Sinister Secrets===
===Wounded Hearts===
===One Step Ahead===
===Breaking Point===
===Behind Closed Doors===

===Keeping Hope===
===Trust===

===Terror of the Black Knight===

===Endgame, Part One===
: '''Rex:''' It was going to happen sooner or later. We had most of the pieces, so it was only a matter of time before the Black Knight made her move. And of all the chances she had to attack, it had to be tonight... at this very moment... while I was in the shower. Huh? How many?
: '''Six:''' Should it matter?
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Can't you do any better than that?
: '''Bobo:''' I thought you'd never ask.
: '''Rex:''' Rah! Yah!
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' If they get to the Meta-Nanites, we still have options.
: '''Rex:''' Of the self-destruct kind? No, thanks, Doc. It's not going to end that way... hopefully.
: '''Black Knight:''' We'll dispense with the pleasantries. You know what we want.
: '''Rex:''' There is no way you're walking out of here with the nanites.
: '''Black Knight:''' You seem so certain.
: '''Rex:''' We've beaten you before. Every single time, in fact. So, this time is different... How? Okay, that's different. Ugh! You're an EVO?!
: '''Black Knight:''' Do you think you were the only one they experimented on back in the day? You were the guinea pig. Consider me the new-and-improved version.
: '''Rex:''' Okay. Before we go any further, I should probably explain a few things. It started when a bunch of rich guys decided they wanted to live forever, so they got the best scientists in the world to figure out how. The answer was nanites. These microscopic machines would cure disease, end hunger, and pretty much make the world a better place. My parents and older brother were on the team, and so was this guy. Look familiar? Van Kleiss. Then one day there was an accident. To save my life, my parents injected me with nanites. It worked. But there were a few crazy side effects, like the fact I could talk to machines and, later on, build some pretty cool things. That got the rich guys thinking-- How far could we take this? Turns out pretty far. These little machines could control the very fabric of the Universe, but they would need a Master Control Nanite to program all the others and tell them what to do. Energy, gravity, time/space, elemental, mechanical-- All the things that make the Universe run. Combined together, they would pretty much make you a God. And when my brother and parents found out the Consortium was about to put these nanites inside themselves, they sort of freaked out in a &quot;got to save the Earth&quot; kind of way. Something had to be done to stop it. Turns out that meant blowing the whole thing up, better known as &quot;The Nanite Event&quot;. That didn't end well for my parents. While everyone else ran away, my parents were trapped inside. Sill not sure how. There was some good news-- No more Master Control Nanites. And the bad news? Dangerous unprogrammed nanites got spread across the world, and nanites plus DNA equals EVO. My brother Caesar got caught in a time warp during his escape. Van Kleiss got blown to smithereens and became the world's biggest pain in the nanite. And me? I got amnesia and traveled the globe living the good life... At least, that's how I tell it. The only part I know of wasn't all that much to brag about. I did get some good friends and a few enemies out of the deal. Turns out that losing my memory was a regular thing for me. Last time I woke up and said, &quot;Who Am I?&quot; It was when this guy found me-- Agent Six. He worked for Providence, sort of a global police force created to clean up after the event. It was paid for mostly by the same group of goons that started the whole thing-- The Consortium. It was great for a while. I had my own personal doctor, a chimp sidekick, a cool best friend to hang with. I was a full-fledged hero. The world loved me, and my powers kept getting better and better. Van Kleiss was still a pain, but I managed to take care of him. A few times, actually. Then things started to get not so cool. My brother shows up from out of nowhere. I get thrown six months into the future to find White Knight kicked out of Providence and this lady in charge-- Black Knight. She's been the lapdog of the Consortium from day one, and now her bosses want to pick up where they left off. Most of the old team of scientists have been reunited, and together, they've restarted the nanite program. The Master Control Nanites were spread across the globe in the first explosion, and we've been racing against Providence to get them back. So far, we've been winning that fight, and that pretty much brings us to right now.
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' The Black Pawns are robots?!
: '''Black Knight:''' Total obedience at the flip of a switch. Can you blame me?
: '''Black Pawn:''' What's so funny?
: '''Six:''' I hold back against people. You're not people.
: ''[Bobo Haha grunts]''
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Black Knight grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' Huh? Ugh!
: '''Feakins:''' Hey! Hey! Take it easy, would you? Oh!
: '''Rex:''' Fitzy?!
: '''Feakins:''' Heh? Sorry, guy. They found me. She's hard to say &quot;No&quot; to... and live.
: '''Black Knight:''' Well put, Mr. Feakins. And thanks to his unique ability, we can set aside our nanite enhancements and do this the old-fashioned way.
: '''Rex:''' Come on. That's not fair. I'm unarmed!
: '''Black Knight:''' Precisely.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Stop! Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad idea.
: '''Rex:''' Listen to the crazy guy.
: '''Black Knight:''' Why are you here, Van Kleiss?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' I forgot. Oh, no, wait. I remember. He's got a Master Control Nanite swallowed up inside him. It's been hiding, the naughty thing.
: '''Rex:''' On second thought, don't listen to him. He's, uh-- He's crazy, remember?
: '''Black Knight:''' You're sure of this?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, yes, yes. Quite sure. Do you have any mints?
: '''Black Knight:''' I want Rex at the lab. Restrain and sedate him.
: '''Rex:''' How, hold on a minute.
: '''Feakins:''' Hey! What about me?
: '''Black Knight:''' I'm not taking any chances. He stays with Rex. Kill the others.
: '''Rex:''' Ugh! Ahh.
: '''Master-Control Nanite:''' Human.
: '''Rex:''' What are you telling me? What do you want?
: '''Master-Control Nanite:''' Complete. Complete. Complete. Complete. Complete.
: '''Rex:''' Okay, I get it. How?
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex gasps]''
: '''Caesar:''' Calm down, Rex. You're safe.
: '''Rex:''' Safe?! Black Knight and her robo-troopers just came knocking, and Van crazy says I have a Master Control Nanite inside me!
: '''Caesar:''' Fascinating, isn't it? All this time, it's been hiding undetected inside you. I wonder if this particular control unit is responsible for his unique nano-evolution.
: '''Rex:''' Are any of you even listening to me?
: '''Feakins:''' Boy, I am. It's like a movie but real! I just want to go start pressing buttons. Can I get another milkshake?
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' How exactly do you plan on getting it out of him?
: '''Black Knight:''' I have a suggestion. Tear it out.
: '''Rylander:''' It would kill him.
: '''Black Knight:''' That's none of my concern.
: '''Caesar:''' The nanite is tied to his DNA. Simply pulling it out of him would ruin the nanite.
: '''Rex:''' And me, too, remember?
: '''Caesar:''' The only way this will work is if we put him in the cyclotron with the other Metas. It should extract automatically during the reassembly.
: '''Black Knight:''' And if it doesn't?
: '''Caesar:''' Hmm. Good question.
: '''Rex:''' Here's another one-- Don't I get a say in this? Like, isn't this the exact thing that our parents died trying to stop?
: '''Black Knight:''' Take him to the hub and prepare for the transfer. The Consortium is here and extremely impatient. I want this finished within the hour.
: '''Feakins:''' Aah! Hey, what am I-- Sandpaper? Not so rough! ''[sputtering]'' Rough.
: '''Rex:''' Glad someone can see the humor in this.
: '''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, see that Rex is well taken care of.
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' I hope you know what you're doing, Salazar. This is a huge risk we're taking.
: '''Rylander:''' Listen to Peter. The thing we swore to stop at any cost, the thing that took your parents-- It could happen-- Right here, today.
: '''Caesar:''' It can't, and it won't. You'll have to trust me on this.
: '''Rylander:''' You can only say that so many times, Caesar.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' We've been waiting almost an hour. Not even refreshments?
: '''Black Knight:''' You can have your snack after we become Gods.
: '''Roswell:''' &quot;We&quot;?
: '''Black Knight:''' That's right-- &quot;We.&quot; None of this would be possible without my efforts.
: '''Roswell:''' And our money, sister.
: '''Black Knight:''' By all means, have your contempt. There's plenty of room buried next to the Russian if you'd like to keep him company. That's what I thought. Now, if you'll follow me--
: '''Bobo:''' &quot;Kill the others.&quot; Not gonna happen, lady. We're bulletproof. Ow! Hangnail.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Ugh! We know where they took him. Why are we here? We need to go get Rex.
: '''Six:''' I agree. We just don't have the resources, Rebecca. We'd need an army.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You've been known to make the impossible happen, Six. How hard could that be?
: '''Six:''' Six here. Copy that. We just got ourselves an army.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' You see?
: '''Van Kleiss:''' That will be all.
: '''Feakins:''' But the lady said-- Good luck, Kid.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' These restraints were made for you. You're very special, you know.
: '''Rex:''' Lucky me.
: '''Caesar:''' Van Kleiss... leave us.
: '''Rex:''' I really hate you.
: '''Caesar:'''I know how this looks, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' But what? I just have to trust you? Is that what you were going to say? Just help me-- Please.
: '''Caesar:''' It may not seem like it, but I am.
: '''Rex:''' Caesar... I'm scared.
: '''Caesar:''' So am I, little brother. This will all be over in a few minutes.
: '''Rex:''' It's already over! When I get out of this, I never want to see you again!
: '''Rylander:''' Commencing countdown.
: '''Roswell:''' WHOO-HOO!
: '''Reddick:''' Payback time!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Caesar:''' This won't be entirely unpleasant. It should feel similar to when you offload surplus nanites.
: '''Rex:''' Stop! You can't do this! You can't merge!
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Something's wrong.
: '''Rylander:''' Of course something's wrong. The kid is fighting it.
: '''Caesar:''' This could be bad.
: '''Rylander:''' You have to tell him, Caesar.
: '''Caesar:''' Rex, you have to stop. Listen to me. The nanites are supposed to do-- Rex? Can you hear me?
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' Actually, he can't. There's a short in the comm relay.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' This would be a wonderful day for a picnic.
: '''Rex:''' RA-A-A-A-A-A-H!
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' Ugh!
: '''Black Knight:''' Ugh!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' So much for that plan.
: ''[Rex laughs]''
: '''Rex:''' Oh, serves you right. All that and you come out of the oven looking like freaks. Nice job!
: '''Black Knight:''' It's not exactly what we were expecting, but it's a start.
: '''Reddick:''' This isn't what we agreed to.
: '''Roswell:''' Where's the rest of our power? This is all messed up!
: '''Dr. Meechum:''' How can this be possible?
: '''Rylander:''' The Meta-Nanites were dispersed between the five. This is quite a surprise.
: '''Caesar:''' We've got to get Rex out of there. Step aside, Van Kleiss.
: '''Van Kleiss:''' They still don't have what they want... and neither do you.
: '''Black Knight:''' You're angry. I can see that. If you want to take it out on anyone, it should be Rex.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' I think I can agree to that.
: '''Roswell:''' Count me in! This might actually be fun!
: '''Rex:''' Let's think about this for a second. Whoa!
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: '''Rex:''' How 'bout that? Exactly one second. Whoa! Aah!
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' What a perfect way to learn to use our powers-- Tearing this brat apart.
: '''Rex:''' Only one problem with that, sparky. I've been using my powers a whole lot longer-- And I'm pretty good.
: '''Roswell:''' You got any ideas here, missy, or we gonna stand around and get it handed to us?
: '''Black Knight:''' The Meta-Nanites were designed to work together. So will we.
: '''Rex:''' What? Are you gonna join together to make a robo-mutant?
: '''Black Knight:''' That's exactly what we're going to do.
: '''Rex:''' I need to stop giving them ideas. Huh?
: ''[Rex grunts]''
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Black Knight:''' No one the help you-- No family, no friends, nothing. It's a terrible way to go.
: '''White Knight:''' Captain Calan, target the base. All weapons, sire.
: '''Providence Agent:''' Fire control reports they're being jammed, sir.
: '''White Knight:''' Only one salvo. Black Knight must have prepared for this.
: ''[Rex groans softly]''
: '''Rex:''' Big giant robot. Black Knight.
: '''Six:''' We know.
: '''Rex:''' Have to... stay and stop them.
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Another time, Rex.
: '''Rex:''' I-I--
: ''[Rex groans]''
: '''Dr. Holiday:''' Holiday to White Knight. We have Rex.
: '''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' We're just gonna watch them go?!
: '''Black Knight:''' Let Providence have their weapon back. With our combined power, the world is ours.

===Endgame, Part Two===
:'''Black Knight:''' Science has given us a tremendous gift-- Nanites. We've seen what they can do-- The good and the bad. But they're true potential has been largely unseen. Until now. Our goals are varied. Fame... power... revenge... wealth... order. Yet, one thing unites us-- Greed. You're surprised I admit it? Well, don't be. You'll never get far in life without wanting it all. And for those who might consider standing in our way... We'll let our powers speak for themselves. The world is ours. And no one can stop us.
:''[Roswell laughs]''
:'''Roswell:''' This is more fun than my first rodeo. What else you got?
:'''Six:''' Any change?
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' He's sleeping. The nanites in him are making repairs. That's a good thing. He's a tough kid, Six.
:'''Six:''' I know.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' See you next time. Judging by what you fed us for lunch, I'm guessing twenty minutes. Can't even go to the little scientists' room without them breathing down our necks. How long are we going to put up with this?
:'''Caesar:''' I know it's not easy working under these circumstances.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Do you? I don't hear you complaining, or have you even noticed that we're prisoniers?
:'''Rylander:''' Gentlemen, please. Can we focus on a more important problem? The Consortium's gain of power is a troubling outcome. Something should be done.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' If you're talking about stopping them, I'm listening.
:'''Black Knight:''' I want you all in the boardroom in three minutes.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' The world is being taken over by nanite-fueled ex-c.e.o. Psychos, and they still act like they're running a business.
:'''Roswell:''' You nerds gave us a raw deal. I want a do-over.
:'''Caesar''': A do-over?
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' What my colleague means to say is that our powers are remarkable to be sure, but we only have one seventh of what we were promised.
:'''Rylander:''' You're asking a lot.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' You're asking the impossible. You'd be lucky to survive the extraction.
:'''Caesar:''' This is true. You may be powerful, but you're not Rex.
:'''Black Knight:''' I share your disappointment, gentlemen. But are you willing to lose everything for this?
:'''Roswell:''' Go big or go home.
:'''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, what do you have to say?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Easy-peasy. I can do it. It's only a matter of correctly calibrating the bio-filters with the homing frequency of the nanites. By the way, have you seen my socks?
:'''Caesar:''' Van Kleiss--
:'''Black Knight:''' Has an assignment. The rest of you... Stay out of trouble.
:'''Rex:''' You started without me.
:'''Six:''' Glad to see you up and around. Something bothering you?
:'''Rex:''' Besides black knight taking over the world? I'm trying to find my friends. I know Providence took them.
:'''Six:''' We're working on that.
:'''Rex:''' And are we doing anything about the Consortium? What about... The robot? The one I can build. Don't play dumb, Six.
:'''Six:''' Come with me.
:'''Rex:''' That's me? No way! All this time, I could have been making myself into that thing? Ohh! Maybe not.
:'''Six:''' Evidence suggest that you've never been able to control it. It's a weapon of last defense. This was filmed on the day that I found you. It was also the day I made a promise that it would be the last time you ever built this machine.
:''[Rex scoffs]''
:'''Rex:''' Or what, you'd kill me? You plan on keeping that promise?
:'''Six:''' Rex, you have to know something. We believe this is the type of thing that ends in you losing your memory.
:'''Rex:''' Well, it happened to you, and you turned out just fine.
:'''Six:''' I only lost six years. Six years is all you have. You would lose everything. I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but you need to think about the consequences of some of your options.
:'''Noah:''' It feels weird hanging out when the world is under attack. I don't know if I should be fighting back or out in the wilderness setting up a survival compound.
:'''Rex:''' If you had the power to stop all this, but it meant losing everything, would you do it, Noah?
:'''Noah:''' I don't know. I'm just glad I don't have to make that kind of decision. I guess that's why you're the hero.
:''[Rex sighs]''
:'''Rex:''' I wish I could get some kind of sign. Anything. Hmm.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Red and yellow, red and yellow. One false move can kill a fellow.
:''[Van Kleiss laughs]''
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' He's got local control. We're locked out. I still don't even know how this is possible.
:'''Rylander:''' I've been looking at the data projections. As crazy as Van Kleiss is, his theory is sound.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Sorry to disturb your sleepy sleep. There might be a slight delay.
:'''Black Knight:''' Why?
:'''Van Kleiss:''' We have a visitor. Should I set out tea?
:'''Rex:''' Hey, in there! Come on out!
:'''Black Knight:''' Back for more? Happy to accommodate.
:'''Rex:''' I should warn you. It's going to get ugly.
:'''Black Knight:''' One would think you would have learned the last time. I can feel you resisting me. Stop.
:'''Roswell:''' Why is it you get to call all the shots?
:'''Black Knight:''' Because I'm the one who has the power to join us. Help me defeat Rex, and you can call all the shots you like.
:'''Rex:''' Hyah!
:''[Rex babbling]''
:''[Rex gasps]''
:'''Six:''' It's a weapon of last defense. It's happened.
:'''Noah:''' That's Rex?
:'''White Knight:''' I'm going to assume you're seeing what I'm seeing.
:'''Six:''' White--
:'''White Knight:''' Before you say anything, Six-- Whatever agreement we may have had regarding this situation no longer applies. Am I clear?
:'''Six:''' Understood.
:'''Dr. Holiday''': What was that all about?
:'''Six:''' A second chance.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Six, we have to do something.
:'''Six:''' I've seen it before. We're too late.
:''[Rex coughing]''
:'''Rex:''' Donde esta mi zapato?
:'''Noah:''' Rex! Hold on!
:'''Rex:''' What? What happened?
:'''Bobo:''' You blew up, kid.
:'''Six:''' Do you know who we are?
:'''Rex:''' I... I do! Oh-ho! I remember! Ow! Ow! I wish I could forget this pain in my... The Consortium!
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' This is utter nonsense. I refuse to be led around like a show dog.
:'''Reddick:''' You can always go back outside and take it up with Providence.
:'''Black Knight:''' Guard the door. Nothing gets by you.
:'''Six:''' They're robots.
:'''Rex:''' Oh! Right! That part I forgot.
:'''Bobo:''' Next time, leave some for the rest of us, huh?
:'''Rylander:''' I'll stay here and guard the equipment.
:''[Rylander laughs]''
:'''Caesar:''' Little brother, they've had this place completely locked down. I've been trying to reach you.
:'''Bobo:''' What he said.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Yeah, you deserved that.
:'''Rex:''' Open it.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' We can't. Still completely locked out of the system. Besides, you can't interrupt once the cycle has started.
:'''Rex:''' Well, then, un-start it!
:'''Black Knight:''' You cleaned up for the occasion. How thoughtful of you.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Oh, this isn't for you. You didn't actually believe that I'd let the five of you have all this power.
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' I thought you were working for us?
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Rex:''' You see that? I knew it! He's not crazy! Okay... oh! He's crazy, but just his usual crazy.
:'''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, I am not amused.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' I don't imagine you would be. This was always my intention, even in the very beginning. It's a pity your parents caught me trying to activate the sequence for myself. And, of course, there's the &quot;broken&quot; hatch. The world would be a much better place if they had just left well enough alone.
:'''Anthony Haden-Scott:''' Black Knight, do something.
:'''Black Knight:''' Van Kleiss, you have made a huge mistake.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Now, then, let the fun begin.
:''[Black Knight groans]''
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' You can't overload that relay from a subdirectory. You have to get a root. It's impossible from here.
:'''Caesar:''' You're a very negative person, Peter Meechum.
:''[Dr. Meechum groans]''
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' I'll try from the main terminal in the lab.
:''[Rex grunts]''
:'''Caesar:''' Rex, wait! That's not necessary.
:'''Rex:''' I'm not waiting around, hermano.
:'''Caesar:''' No. That's not what I mean.
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Yes. I can see it.
:''[Van Kleiss laughs evilly]''
:'''Van Kleiss:''' Huh? No.
:''[Van Kleiss groans]''
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' It's incredible something so small could have so much [[w:Omnipotence|power]]. That thing could rip apart the very fabric of the universe.
:'''Rex:''' It's still a nanite. I'm gonna talk to it.
:'''Caesar:''' No. It's okay.
:''[The fully complete Meta Nanite comes to Rex, as if it were waiting for him, whose eyes and body glow with a pale blue cosmic aura.]''
:'''Caesar:''' Rex, listen to me. The Meta-Nanite-- It could never work in anyone but you. Now in its pure state. Mom and dad, we programmed them that way from the very beginning. All of this... It's meant for you.
:'''Six:''' What are you saying?
:'''Caesar:''' Right now, Rex is [[Omnipotence|the most powerful being in the universe]].
:'''Bobo:''' You hear that, Kid? Don't let it get to your head.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' Rex, can you hear me?
:'''Rex:''' Yeah, doc. This is pretty trippy. Not exactly sure what I'm supposed to do now.
:'''Black Knight:''' You're a [[God]], Rex. You can do anything you want.
:'''Six:''' You know what to do.
:'''Rex:''' You're right, Six. So are the rest of you. I can do anything I want. Maybe it's time for a revolution. Isn't that what you five wanted? A revolution? Well, welcome to it.
:'''Noah:''' Is he gonna be like this from now on?
:'''Rylander:''' Uh... People. He's inside the nanite reactor.
:'''Dr. Holiday and Caesar:''' Inside?
:'''Rex:''' Okay, little guys. I need you to do something for me.
:'''Black Knight:''' Follow me, quickly.
:'''Reddick:''' I'm through following you. We trusted you everything, and look what we got.
:'''Black Knight:''' We may still be able to retain some of our abilities, but only if you follow me.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' Are you seeing this?
:'''Rylander:''' Tehnically, I don't have eyes, but yes.
:'''Providence Agent:''' Reports are coming in. EVO's all over the world are spontaneously curing.
:'''Six:''' Not spontaneous.
:'''Caesar:''' He must have programmed all the nanites in the reactor to initiate a worldwide cure event.
:'''Black Knight:''' What is your next directive?
:'''Rex:''' I don't want anyone using you again. Ever. And that includes me. Deactivate.
:''[Rex groans]''
:'''Rex:''' I think it's over.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' I think you're right.
:'''Caesar:''' I wanted to tell you, brother. So much was at stake.
:'''Rex:''' We're good. And we'll always be brothers.
:'''Diane Ferrah:''' Across the world, not an EVO to be found. After more than six years, it appears we've awoken from the nightmare.
:'''White Knight:''' The EVOs may be gone, but we still have nanites.
:'''Rex:''' Leave it to you to spoil  all the fun, White Knight.
:'''Dr. Holiday:''' There are some people here to see you, Rex.
:'''Rex:''' Tuck? Cricket? Skwydd?
:'''Skwydd:''' Eh, I guess I should start going by Walter again.
:''[Rex runs to Circe and the two lovers share a close hug, happy to be together at last]''
:'''Rex:''' Uh... Are you...?
:'''Circe:''' I'm okay. Normal, but okay. I think you may have put yourself out of a job.
:'''Skywdd:''' Yeah. What are you gonna do? Go to school?
:'''Rylander:''' It was nice having the team back together. You know, we should find a new project.
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' You kidding? I'd rather have root canal with a rake. Worst experience of my life.
:'''Caesar:''' Do you want to hear about some of my new ideas or not?
:'''Dr. Meechum:''' I'm listening.
:'''Rex:''' Finally.
:'''Six:''' Need anything?
:'''Rex:''' Nope. I'm good. There's always going to be something, isn't there?
:'''Six:''' Yes, there is.

==Characters==
===Main===
*Rex Salazar (Daryl Sabara)
*Six
*White Knight
*Bobo Haha
===Supporting===
*Circe (Tara Sands)
*Tuck (Dante Bosco) 
*Skwydd
*Cricket
*Beverley Holiday 
*Caesar Salazar
*Five
*Tres
*IV

===Villains===
*Van Kleiss
*The Pack
*Gatlocke
*Hunter Cain
*Quarry
*Black Knight
*The Consortium
===Couples===
*Dr. Rebecca Holiday &amp; Six
*Rex &amp; Circe
*Noah Nixon &amp; Claire Bowman
==Elements==
===Rex's Machines &quot;Builds&quot;===
*Big Fat Sword
*Buzz Saw
*Punk Busters
*Boogie Pack
*Cannon
*Smack Hands

===Rex's Other Abilities===
*Technopathy
*Data Manipulation
*Technological Manipulation 
*E.V.O. Curing
*Breach Detection
*Electronic Disruption

===Omega Nanite-Powered Builds===
*Blast Caster
*Funchucks
*Bad Axes
*Block Party
*Sky Slider
*Water Jet

==External Links==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1636691/ Generator Rex] at [[Internet Movie Database]]
* [http://generatorrexpedia.wikia.com/wiki/Generator_Rex Generator Rex] at Wikia

{{Authority control}}
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Teen superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Cartoon Network original series]]
[[Category:Television series by Cartoon Network Studios]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Teen animated TV shows]]</text>
      <sha1>hmybr1miqj1tmb76ipjbl2zdxap5bba</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Public speaking</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>126075</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944029</id>
      <parentid>3927291</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T20:49:03Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>GrimRob</username>
        <id>1187925</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Quotes */  alphabetical order</comment>
      <origin>3944029</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="16388" sha1="f8ppiwipc4jggn1a37tg4ymcv9yba26" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Cicerón denuncia a Catilina, por Cesare Maccari.jpg|thumb|300px|The Roman orator [[Cicero]] speaks to the Roman Senate.&lt;br /&gt;''Cicero Denounces Catiline'' (1889), fresco by Cesare Maccari]]

'''[[w:Public speaking|Public speaking]]''' or '''[[w:Oratory|Oratory]]''' is the process of speaking to a group of people in a structured, deliberate manner intended to inform, influence, or entertain the listeners. It is closely allied to &quot;presenting&quot;, although the latter has more of a commercial connotation.

== Quotes ==
*LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.
** [[Ambrose Bierce]], ''The Cynic's Dictionary'' (1906); republished as ''The Devil's Dictionary'' (1911).

*ORATORY, n. A conspiracy between speech and action to cheat the understanding. A tyranny tempered by stenography.
** [[Ambrose Bierce]], ''The Devil's Dictionary'' (1911).

* For rhetoric, he could not open&lt;br&gt;His mouth, but out there flew a trope.
** [[Samuel Butler (poet)|Samuel Butler]], ''Hudibras'', Part I (1663-64), Canto I, line 81.

* [[Poetry]], unlike oratory, should not aim at clarity... but be dense with meaning, 'something to be chewed and digested'...
** [[George Chapman]], ''Preface to Ovid's Banquet of Sense'' (1595)

* He mouths a sentence as curs mouth a bone.
** [[Charles Churchill]], ''The Rosciad'' (1761), line 322.

* We fear that the glittering generalities of the speaker have left an impression more delightful than permanent.
** [[F. J. Dickman]], ''Review of Lecture by Rufus Choate'', ''Providence Journal'' (Dec. 14, 1849).

* There is no true orator who is not a hero.
** [[Ralph Waldo Emerson]], ''Letters and Social Aims'' (1876), ''Eloquence''.

* ''Intererit multum Davusne loquatur an heros.''
** It makes a great difference whether Davus or a hero speaks.
** [[Horace]], ''Ars Poetica'' (18 BC), CXIV.

* Thence to the famous orators repair,&lt;br&gt;Those ancient, whose resistless eloquence&lt;br&gt;Wielded at will that fierce democratie,&lt;br&gt;Shook the Arsenal, and fulmined over Greece,&lt;br&gt;To Macedon, and Artaxerxes' throne.
** [[John Milton]], ''[[Paradise Regained]]'' (1671), Book IV, line 267.

*In the tradition of popular oratory, Trash [a nickname] started a talk at random, moved confidently ahead in no particular direction, and, although he spoke very clearly, said nothing.
** [[William Saroyan]], ''Madness in the Family'' (1988)

* Very good orators, when they are out, they will spit.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[As You Like It]]'' (c.1599-1600), Act IV, scene 1, line 75.

* Be not thy tongue thy own shame's orator.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[The Comedy of Errors]]'' (1592-1594), Act III, scene 2, line 10.

* List his discourse of war, and you shall hear&lt;br&gt;A fearful battle render'd you in music.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Henry V (play)|Henry V]]'' (c. 1599), Act I, scene 1, line 43.

* What means this passionate discourse,&lt;br&gt;This peroration with such circumstance?
** [[William Shakespeare]], [[Henry VI, Part 2|''Henry VI'', Part II]] (c. 1590-91), Act I, scene 1, line 104.

* I come not, friends, to steal away your hearts:&lt;br&gt;I am no orator, as Brutus is;&lt;br&gt;  *  *  I only speak right on.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Julius Caesar (play)|Julius Cæsar]]'' (1599), Act III, scene 2, line 220.

* Fear not, my lord, I'll play the orator&lt;br&gt;As if the golden fee for which I plead&lt;br&gt;Were for myself.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Richard III (play)|Richard III]]'' (c. 1591), Act III, scene 5, line 95.

* Bid me discourse, I will enchant thine ear,&lt;br&gt;Or, like a fairy, trip upon the green.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Venus and Adonis (Shakespeare poem)|Venus and Adonis]]'' (1593), line 145.

* Charm us, orator, till the lion look no larger than the cat.
** [[Alfred Tennyson]], ''Locksley Hall Sixty Years After'' (1886), line 112.

* There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus and upset the convictions and debauch the emotions of an audience not practised in the tricks and delusions of oratory.
** [[Mark Twain]], &quot;[[w:The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg|The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg]]&quot;, ch. III, in The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg and Other Stories and Essays (1900).

* When a great orator makes a great speech you are listening to ten centuries and ten thousand men — but we call it his speech, and really some exceedingly small portion of it is his. But not enough to signify. It is merely a Waterloo. It is Wellington's battle, in some degree, and we call it his; but there are others that contributed. It takes a thousand men to invent a telegraph, or a steam engine, or a phonograph, or a photograph, or a telephone or any other important thing—and the last man gets the credit and we forget the others. He added his little mite — that is all he did. These object lessons should teach us that ninety-nine parts of all things that proceed from the intellect are plagiarisms, pure and simple; and the lesson ought to make us modest. But nothing can do that.
** [[Mark Twain]], Letter to [[Helen Keller]], after she had been accused of plagiarism for one of her early stories (17 March 1903), published in Mark Twain's Letters, Vol. 1 (1917) edited by Albert Bigelow Paine, p. 731.

===''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations''===
:&lt;small&gt;Quotes reported in ''[[Wikisource:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922)|Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations]]'' (1922), p. 572-73.&lt;/small&gt;

* Solon wished everybody to be ready to take everybody else's part; but surely Chilo was wiser in holding that public affairs go best when the laws have much attention and the orators none.
** Rev. [[J. Beacon]], letter to Earl Grey on Reform (1831). See [[Plutarch]], ''Symposium'', ''Septem Sapientintium Convivium'', Chapter XI. I. (Chilo.)

* ''Ce que l'on conceit bien s'énonce clairement,&lt;br&gt;Et les mots pour le dire arrivent aisément.
** Whatever we conceive well we express clearly, and words flow with ease.
** [[Nicolas Boileau-Despréaux]], ''L'Art Poètique'', I. 153.

* The Orator persuades and carries all with him, he knows not how; the Rhetorician can prove that he ought to have persuaded and carried all with him.
** [[Thomas Carlyle]], ''Essays'', Characteristics.

* Its Constitution—the glittering and sounding generalities of natural right which make up the Declaration of Independence.
** [[Rufus Choate]], letter to the Maine Whig Committee (1856).

* I asked of my dear friend Orator Prig:&lt;br&gt;&quot;What's the first part of oratory?&quot; He said, &quot;A great, wig.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;And what is the second?&quot; Then, dancing a jig&lt;br&gt;And bowing profoundly, he said, &quot;A great wig.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;And what is the third?&quot; Then he snored like a pig,&lt;br&gt;And puffing his cheeks out, he replied, &quot;A great wig.&quot;
** [[George Colman the Younger]], ''Orator Prig''.

* Glittering generalities! They are blazing ubiquities.
** [[Ralph Waldo Emerson]], remark on Choate's words.

* You'd scarce expect one of my age&lt;br&gt;To speak in public on the stage;&lt;br&gt;And if I chance to fall below&lt;br&gt;Demosthenes or Cicero,&lt;br&gt;Don't view me with a critic's eye,&lt;br&gt;But pass my imperfections by.&lt;br&gt;Large streams from little fountains flow,&lt;br&gt;Tall oaks from little acorns grow.
** [[David Everett]], ''Lines Written for a School Declamation''.

* ''Allein der Vortrag macht des Redners Glück,&lt;br&gt;Ich fühl es wohl noch bin ich weit zurück.''
** Yet through delivery orators succeed,&lt;br&gt;  I feel that I am far behind indeed.
** [[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]], ''[[Goethe's Faust|Faust]]'', I. 1. 194.

* ''Es trägt Verstand und rechter Sinn,&lt;br&gt;Mit wenig Kunst sich selber vor.''
** With little art, clear wit and sense&lt;br&gt;  Suggest their own delivery.
** [[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]], ''[[Goethe's Faust|Faust]]'', I. 1. 198.

* The passions are the only orators that always persuade: they are, as it were, a natural art, the rules of which are infallible; and the simplest man with passion is more persuasive than the most eloquent without it.
** [[François de La Rochefoucauld]], ''Maxims''. No. 9.

* The object of oratory alone is not truth, but persuasion.
** [[Thomas Babington Macaulay, 1st Baron Macaulay]], ''Essay on Athenian Orators''.

* The capital of the orator is in the bank of the highest sentimentalities and the purest enthusiasms.
** [[Edward Griffin Parker|Edward G. Parker]], ''The Golden Age of American Oratory'', Chapter I

* ''Præterea multo magis, ut vulgo dicitur viva vox afficit: nam licet acriora sint, quæ legas, ultius tamen in ammo sedent, quæ pronuntiatio, vultus, habitus, gestus dicentis adfigit.''
** Besides, as is usually the case, we are much more affected by the words which we hear, for though what you read in books may be more pointed, yet there is something in the voice, the look, the carriage, and even the gesture of the speaker, that makes a deeper impression upon the mind.
** [[Pliny the Younger]], ''Epistles'', II. 3.

* When Demosthenes was asked what was the first part of Oratory, he answered, &quot;Action,&quot; and which was the second, he replied, &quot;Action,&quot; and which was the third, he still answered &quot;Action.&quot;
** [[Plutarch]], ''Morals''. ''Lives of the Ten Orators''. Referred to by [[Cicero]], ''De Orators'', III. 214. Oration 55, and Brutus. 234.

* It is a thing of no great difficulty to raise objections against another man's oration,—nay, it is a very easy matter; but to produce a better in its place is a work extremely troublesome.
** [[Plutarch]], ''Of Hearing'', VI.

* Fire in each eye, and papers in each hand,&lt;br&gt;They rave, recite, and madden round the land.
** [[Alexander Pope]], ''Prologue to Satires'', line 5.

===''Respectfully Quoted'' (1989)===
* I was very glad that Mr. Attlee described my speeches in the war as expressing the will not only of Parliament but of the whole nation. Their will was resolute and remorseless and, as it proved, unconquerable. It fell to me to express it, and if I found the right words you must remember that I have always earned my living by my pen and by my tongue. It was a nation and race dwelling all round the globe that had the lion heart. I had the luck to be called upon to give the roar.
** [[Winston Churchill]], address marking his 80th birthday, Westminster Hall, London, November 30, 1954. Winston S. Churchill: His Complete Speeches, 1897–1963, ed. Robert Rhodes James, vol. 8, p. 8608–9 (1974).

* One woman who managed to corner him, the story runs, said in a treacly gushing voice:&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Doesn't it thrill you, Mr. Churchill, to know that every time you make a speech the hall is packed to overflowing?&quot;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&quot;It is quite flattering&quot;, Mr. Churchill replied, &quot;but whenever I feel this way I always remember that if instead of making a political speech I was being hanged, the crowd would be twice as big&quot;.
** [[Winston Churchill]], remark on a transatlantic tour. Norman McGowan, My Years with Churchill, p. 138 (1958).

* When I see a bird that walks like a duck and swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, I call that bird a duck.
** Attributed to [[Richard Cardinal Cushing]]. Everett Dirksen and Herbert V. Prochnow, Quotation Finder, p. 55 (1971). Reported as unverified in ''Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations'' (1989).

* Then there was a maiden speech, so inaudible, that it was doubted whether, after all, the young orator really did lose his virginity.
** [[Benjamin Disraeli]], ''The Young Duke'' (first published in 1831; republished 1859), chapter 6, p. 19.

* It is reputed that Mr. Disraeli when he was once asked by a new member whether he advised him to take part often in debate replied:—&lt;br&gt;No, I do not think you ought to do so, because it is much better that the House should wonder why you do not speak than why you do.&lt;br&gt;My advice in this matter is very much the same as that given by Mr. Disraeli; it is much better when a member resumes his seat after he has made a speech for the House to have the feeling that they wish he had gone on longer instead of wondering why he did not stop sooner.
** [[Edward Algernon Fitzroy]], remarks in the House of Commons, May 25, 1939, as reported by The Times (London), May 26, 1939, p. 7. FitzRoy, Speaker of the House of Commons, was quoting the nineteenth century Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli, Lord Beaconsfield. Quoted in slightly different form in the Congressional Record, June 2, 1939, vol. 84, p. 6538–39.

* It is amazing how soon one becomes accustomed to the sound of one's voice, when forced to repeat a speech five or six times a day. As election day approaches, the size of the crowds grows; they are more responsive and more interested; and one derives a certain exhilaration from that which, only a few weeks before, was intensely painful. This is one possible explanation of unlimited debate in the Senate.
** [[J. William Fulbright]], &quot;The Legislator&quot;, lecture delivered at the University of Chicago, Chicago, Illinois, in 1946. The Works of the Mind, ed. for the University's Committee on Social Thought by Robert B. Heywood, p. 123 (1947).

* Every living sentence which shows a mind at work for itself is to be welcomed. It is not the first use but the tiresome repetition of inadequate catch words which I am observing—phrases which originally were contributions, but which, by their very felicity, delay further analysis for fifty years. That comes from the same source as dislike of novelty—intellectual indolence or weakness—a slackening in the eternal pursuit of the more exact.
**[[Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.]], &quot;Law in Science and Science in Law&quot;, address before the New York State Bar Association, January 17, 1899. Collected Legal Papers by Oliver Wendell Holmes, p. 230–31 (1937).

* The art of reasoning becomes of first importance. In this line antiquity has left us the finest models for imitation;… I should consider the speeches of Livy, Sallust, and Tacitus, as pre-eminent specimens of logic, taste, and that sententious brevity which, using not a word to spare, leaves not a moment for inattention to the hearer. Amplification is the vice of modern oratory.
** [[Thomas Jefferson]], letter to David Harding, April 20, 1824. The Writings of Thomas Jefferson, ed. Andrew A. Lipscomb, vol. 16, p. 30 (1904).

* Also the two-edged tongue of mighty Zeno, who, Say what one would, could argue it untrue.
** [[Plutarch]], Plutarch's Lives, trans. John Dryden, rev. A. H. Clough, life of Pericles, vol. 1, p. 323 (1859).

* Middle-aged clubwoman, with a flutter in her voice: &quot;Oh, Mr. Stevenson, your speech was superfluous&quot;.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Thank you, madam. I've been thinking of having it published posthumously&quot;.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Oh, won't that be nice. The sooner the better&quot;.
** [[Adlai Stevenson]], U.S. ambassador to the United Nations, favorite anecdote on public occasions. Richard J. Walton, The Remnants of Power: The Tragic Last Years of Adlai Stevenson, p. 24 (1968).

* When the mariner has been tossed for many days in thick weather, and on an unknown sea, he naturally avails himself of the first pause in the storm, the earliest glance of the sun, to take his latitude, and ascertain how far the elements have driven him from his true course. Let us imitate this prudence, and, before we float farther on the waves of this debate, refer to the point from which we departed, that we may at least be able to conjecture where we now are.
** [[Daniel Webster]], second speech on Foote's resolution, delivered in the Senate, January 26, 1830. The Works of Daniel Webster, 10th ed., vol. 3, p. 270 (1857). His opening remarks on the sixth day of debate.

* It was a bit of campaign oratory.
** [[Wendell Willkie]], testimony, February 11, 1941. To Promote the Defense of the United States, hearings before the Committee on Foreign Relations, United States Senate, 77th Congress, 1st session, part 3, p. 905 (1941).

* A member of the Cabinet congratulated Wilson on introducing the vogue of short speeches and asked him about the time it took him to prepare his speeches. He said: &quot;It depends. If I am to speak ten minutes, I need a week for preparation; if fifteen minutes, three days; if half an hour, two days; if an hour, I am ready now&quot;.
** [[Woodrow Wilson]]. Josephus Daniels, The Wilson Era; Years of War and After, 1917–1923, p. 624 (1946).

==See also ==
*[[Preaching]]
*[[Speech]]

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:Discourse]]</text>
      <sha1>f8ppiwipc4jggn1a37tg4ymcv9yba26</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944031</id>
      <parentid>3944029</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T20:55:37Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>GrimRob</username>
        <id>1187925</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Quotes */  Churchill (1897) - Of all the talents bestowed upon men, none is so precious as the gift of oratory.</comment>
      <origin>3944031</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="17534" sha1="nqzhmzg0xr4o9q23ys5zj324clx5w7w" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Cicerón denuncia a Catilina, por Cesare Maccari.jpg|thumb|300px|The Roman orator [[Cicero]] speaks to the Roman Senate.&lt;br /&gt;''Cicero Denounces Catiline'' (1889), fresco by Cesare Maccari]]

'''[[w:Public speaking|Public speaking]]''' or '''[[w:Oratory|Oratory]]''' is the process of speaking to a group of people in a structured, deliberate manner intended to inform, influence, or entertain the listeners. It is closely allied to &quot;presenting&quot;, although the latter has more of a commercial connotation.

== Quotes ==
[[File:Winston Churchill at a BBC microphone about to broadcast to the nation on the afternoon of VE Day, 8 May 1945. H41843.jpg|thumb|Of all the talents bestowed upon men, none is so precious as the gift of oratory.]]
*LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.
** [[Ambrose Bierce]], ''The Cynic's Dictionary'' (1906); republished as ''The Devil's Dictionary'' (1911).

* ORATORY, n. A conspiracy between speech and action to cheat the understanding. A tyranny tempered by stenography.
** [[Ambrose Bierce]], ''The Devil's Dictionary'' (1911).

* For rhetoric, he could not open&lt;br&gt;His mouth, but out there flew a trope.
** [[Samuel Butler (poet)|Samuel Butler]], ''Hudibras'', Part I (1663-64), Canto I, line 81.

* [[Poetry]], unlike oratory, should not aim at clarity... but be dense with meaning, 'something to be chewed and digested'...
** [[George Chapman]], ''Preface to Ovid's Banquet of Sense'' (1595)

* He mouths a sentence as curs mouth a bone.
** [[Charles Churchill]], ''The Rosciad'' (1761), line 322.

* Of all the talents bestowed upon men, none is so precious as the gift of oratory. He who enjoys it wields a power more durable than that of a great king. He is an independent force in the world. Abandoned by his party, betrayed by his friends, stripped of his offices, whoever can command this power is still formidable. Many have watched its effects. A meeting of grave citizens, protected by all the cynicism of these prosaic days, is unable to resist its influence. From unresponsive silence they advance to grudging approval and thence to complete agreement with the speaker. The cheers become louder and more frequent; the enthusiasm momentarily increases; until they are convulsed by emotions they are unable to control and shaken by passions of which they have resigned the direction.
** [[Winston Churchill]] [https://winstonchurchill.hillsdale.edu/the-scaffolding-of-rhetoric/ The Scaffolding of Rhetoric] (1897)

* We fear that the glittering generalities of the speaker have left an impression more delightful than permanent.
** [[F. J. Dickman]], ''Review of Lecture by Rufus Choate'', ''Providence Journal'' (Dec. 14, 1849).

* There is no true orator who is not a hero.
** [[Ralph Waldo Emerson]], ''Letters and Social Aims'' (1876), ''Eloquence''.

* ''Intererit multum Davusne loquatur an heros.''
** It makes a great difference whether Davus or a hero speaks.
** [[Horace]], ''Ars Poetica'' (18 BC), CXIV.

* Thence to the famous orators repair,&lt;br&gt;Those ancient, whose resistless eloquence&lt;br&gt;Wielded at will that fierce democratie,&lt;br&gt;Shook the Arsenal, and fulmined over Greece,&lt;br&gt;To Macedon, and Artaxerxes' throne.
** [[John Milton]], ''[[Paradise Regained]]'' (1671), Book IV, line 267.

* In the tradition of popular oratory, Trash [a nickname] started a talk at random, moved confidently ahead in no particular direction, and, although he spoke very clearly, said nothing.
** [[William Saroyan]], ''Madness in the Family'' (1988)

* Very good orators, when they are out, they will spit.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[As You Like It]]'' (c.1599-1600), Act IV, scene 1, line 75.

* Be not thy tongue thy own shame's orator.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[The Comedy of Errors]]'' (1592-1594), Act III, scene 2, line 10.

* List his discourse of war, and you shall hear&lt;br&gt;A fearful battle render'd you in music.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Henry V (play)|Henry V]]'' (c. 1599), Act I, scene 1, line 43.

* What means this passionate discourse,&lt;br&gt;This peroration with such circumstance?
** [[William Shakespeare]], [[Henry VI, Part 2|''Henry VI'', Part II]] (c. 1590-91), Act I, scene 1, line 104.

* I come not, friends, to steal away your hearts:&lt;br&gt;I am no orator, as Brutus is;&lt;br&gt;  *  *  I only speak right on.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Julius Caesar (play)|Julius Cæsar]]'' (1599), Act III, scene 2, line 220.

* Fear not, my lord, I'll play the orator&lt;br&gt;As if the golden fee for which I plead&lt;br&gt;Were for myself.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Richard III (play)|Richard III]]'' (c. 1591), Act III, scene 5, line 95.

* Bid me discourse, I will enchant thine ear,&lt;br&gt;Or, like a fairy, trip upon the green.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Venus and Adonis (Shakespeare poem)|Venus and Adonis]]'' (1593), line 145.

* Charm us, orator, till the lion look no larger than the cat.
** [[Alfred Tennyson]], ''Locksley Hall Sixty Years After'' (1886), line 112.

* There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus and upset the convictions and debauch the emotions of an audience not practised in the tricks and delusions of oratory.
** [[Mark Twain]], &quot;[[w:The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg|The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg]]&quot;, ch. III, in The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg and Other Stories and Essays (1900).

* When a great orator makes a great speech you are listening to ten centuries and ten thousand men — but we call it his speech, and really some exceedingly small portion of it is his. But not enough to signify. It is merely a Waterloo. It is Wellington's battle, in some degree, and we call it his; but there are others that contributed. It takes a thousand men to invent a telegraph, or a steam engine, or a phonograph, or a photograph, or a telephone or any other important thing—and the last man gets the credit and we forget the others. He added his little mite — that is all he did. These object lessons should teach us that ninety-nine parts of all things that proceed from the intellect are plagiarisms, pure and simple; and the lesson ought to make us modest. But nothing can do that.
** [[Mark Twain]], Letter to [[Helen Keller]], after she had been accused of plagiarism for one of her early stories (17 March 1903), published in Mark Twain's Letters, Vol. 1 (1917) edited by Albert Bigelow Paine, p. 731.

===''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations''===
:&lt;small&gt;Quotes reported in ''[[Wikisource:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922)|Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations]]'' (1922), p. 572-73.&lt;/small&gt;

* Solon wished everybody to be ready to take everybody else's part; but surely Chilo was wiser in holding that public affairs go best when the laws have much attention and the orators none.
** Rev. [[J. Beacon]], letter to Earl Grey on Reform (1831). See [[Plutarch]], ''Symposium'', ''Septem Sapientintium Convivium'', Chapter XI. I. (Chilo.)

* ''Ce que l'on conceit bien s'énonce clairement,&lt;br&gt;Et les mots pour le dire arrivent aisément.
** Whatever we conceive well we express clearly, and words flow with ease.
** [[Nicolas Boileau-Despréaux]], ''L'Art Poètique'', I. 153.

* The Orator persuades and carries all with him, he knows not how; the Rhetorician can prove that he ought to have persuaded and carried all with him.
** [[Thomas Carlyle]], ''Essays'', Characteristics.

* Its Constitution—the glittering and sounding generalities of natural right which make up the Declaration of Independence.
** [[Rufus Choate]], letter to the Maine Whig Committee (1856).

* I asked of my dear friend Orator Prig:&lt;br&gt;&quot;What's the first part of oratory?&quot; He said, &quot;A great, wig.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;And what is the second?&quot; Then, dancing a jig&lt;br&gt;And bowing profoundly, he said, &quot;A great wig.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;And what is the third?&quot; Then he snored like a pig,&lt;br&gt;And puffing his cheeks out, he replied, &quot;A great wig.&quot;
** [[George Colman the Younger]], ''Orator Prig''.

* Glittering generalities! They are blazing ubiquities.
** [[Ralph Waldo Emerson]], remark on Choate's words.

* You'd scarce expect one of my age&lt;br&gt;To speak in public on the stage;&lt;br&gt;And if I chance to fall below&lt;br&gt;Demosthenes or Cicero,&lt;br&gt;Don't view me with a critic's eye,&lt;br&gt;But pass my imperfections by.&lt;br&gt;Large streams from little fountains flow,&lt;br&gt;Tall oaks from little acorns grow.
** [[David Everett]], ''Lines Written for a School Declamation''.

* ''Allein der Vortrag macht des Redners Glück,&lt;br&gt;Ich fühl es wohl noch bin ich weit zurück.''
** Yet through delivery orators succeed,&lt;br&gt;  I feel that I am far behind indeed.
** [[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]], ''[[Goethe's Faust|Faust]]'', I. 1. 194.

* ''Es trägt Verstand und rechter Sinn,&lt;br&gt;Mit wenig Kunst sich selber vor.''
** With little art, clear wit and sense&lt;br&gt;  Suggest their own delivery.
** [[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]], ''[[Goethe's Faust|Faust]]'', I. 1. 198.

* The passions are the only orators that always persuade: they are, as it were, a natural art, the rules of which are infallible; and the simplest man with passion is more persuasive than the most eloquent without it.
** [[François de La Rochefoucauld]], ''Maxims''. No. 9.

* The object of oratory alone is not truth, but persuasion.
** [[Thomas Babington Macaulay, 1st Baron Macaulay]], ''Essay on Athenian Orators''.

* The capital of the orator is in the bank of the highest sentimentalities and the purest enthusiasms.
** [[Edward Griffin Parker|Edward G. Parker]], ''The Golden Age of American Oratory'', Chapter I

* ''Præterea multo magis, ut vulgo dicitur viva vox afficit: nam licet acriora sint, quæ legas, ultius tamen in ammo sedent, quæ pronuntiatio, vultus, habitus, gestus dicentis adfigit.''
** Besides, as is usually the case, we are much more affected by the words which we hear, for though what you read in books may be more pointed, yet there is something in the voice, the look, the carriage, and even the gesture of the speaker, that makes a deeper impression upon the mind.
** [[Pliny the Younger]], ''Epistles'', II. 3.

* When Demosthenes was asked what was the first part of Oratory, he answered, &quot;Action,&quot; and which was the second, he replied, &quot;Action,&quot; and which was the third, he still answered &quot;Action.&quot;
** [[Plutarch]], ''Morals''. ''Lives of the Ten Orators''. Referred to by [[Cicero]], ''De Orators'', III. 214. Oration 55, and Brutus. 234.

* It is a thing of no great difficulty to raise objections against another man's oration,—nay, it is a very easy matter; but to produce a better in its place is a work extremely troublesome.
** [[Plutarch]], ''Of Hearing'', VI.

* Fire in each eye, and papers in each hand,&lt;br&gt;They rave, recite, and madden round the land.
** [[Alexander Pope]], ''Prologue to Satires'', line 5.

===''Respectfully Quoted'' (1989)===
* I was very glad that Mr. Attlee described my speeches in the war as expressing the will not only of Parliament but of the whole nation. Their will was resolute and remorseless and, as it proved, unconquerable. It fell to me to express it, and if I found the right words you must remember that I have always earned my living by my pen and by my tongue. It was a nation and race dwelling all round the globe that had the lion heart. I had the luck to be called upon to give the roar.
** [[Winston Churchill]], address marking his 80th birthday, Westminster Hall, London, November 30, 1954. Winston S. Churchill: His Complete Speeches, 1897–1963, ed. Robert Rhodes James, vol. 8, p. 8608–9 (1974).

* One woman who managed to corner him, the story runs, said in a treacly gushing voice:&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Doesn't it thrill you, Mr. Churchill, to know that every time you make a speech the hall is packed to overflowing?&quot;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&quot;It is quite flattering&quot;, Mr. Churchill replied, &quot;but whenever I feel this way I always remember that if instead of making a political speech I was being hanged, the crowd would be twice as big&quot;.
** [[Winston Churchill]], remark on a transatlantic tour. Norman McGowan, My Years with Churchill, p. 138 (1958).

* When I see a bird that walks like a duck and swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, I call that bird a duck.
** Attributed to [[Richard Cardinal Cushing]]. Everett Dirksen and Herbert V. Prochnow, Quotation Finder, p. 55 (1971). Reported as unverified in ''Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations'' (1989).

* Then there was a maiden speech, so inaudible, that it was doubted whether, after all, the young orator really did lose his virginity.
** [[Benjamin Disraeli]], ''The Young Duke'' (first published in 1831; republished 1859), chapter 6, p. 19.

* It is reputed that Mr. Disraeli when he was once asked by a new member whether he advised him to take part often in debate replied:—&lt;br&gt;No, I do not think you ought to do so, because it is much better that the House should wonder why you do not speak than why you do.&lt;br&gt;My advice in this matter is very much the same as that given by Mr. Disraeli; it is much better when a member resumes his seat after he has made a speech for the House to have the feeling that they wish he had gone on longer instead of wondering why he did not stop sooner.
** [[Edward Algernon Fitzroy]], remarks in the House of Commons, May 25, 1939, as reported by The Times (London), May 26, 1939, p. 7. FitzRoy, Speaker of the House of Commons, was quoting the nineteenth century Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli, Lord Beaconsfield. Quoted in slightly different form in the Congressional Record, June 2, 1939, vol. 84, p. 6538–39.

* It is amazing how soon one becomes accustomed to the sound of one's voice, when forced to repeat a speech five or six times a day. As election day approaches, the size of the crowds grows; they are more responsive and more interested; and one derives a certain exhilaration from that which, only a few weeks before, was intensely painful. This is one possible explanation of unlimited debate in the Senate.
** [[J. William Fulbright]], &quot;The Legislator&quot;, lecture delivered at the University of Chicago, Chicago, Illinois, in 1946. The Works of the Mind, ed. for the University's Committee on Social Thought by Robert B. Heywood, p. 123 (1947).

* Every living sentence which shows a mind at work for itself is to be welcomed. It is not the first use but the tiresome repetition of inadequate catch words which I am observing—phrases which originally were contributions, but which, by their very felicity, delay further analysis for fifty years. That comes from the same source as dislike of novelty—intellectual indolence or weakness—a slackening in the eternal pursuit of the more exact.
**[[Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.]], &quot;Law in Science and Science in Law&quot;, address before the New York State Bar Association, January 17, 1899. Collected Legal Papers by Oliver Wendell Holmes, p. 230–31 (1937).

* The art of reasoning becomes of first importance. In this line antiquity has left us the finest models for imitation;… I should consider the speeches of Livy, Sallust, and Tacitus, as pre-eminent specimens of logic, taste, and that sententious brevity which, using not a word to spare, leaves not a moment for inattention to the hearer. Amplification is the vice of modern oratory.
** [[Thomas Jefferson]], letter to David Harding, April 20, 1824. The Writings of Thomas Jefferson, ed. Andrew A. Lipscomb, vol. 16, p. 30 (1904).

* Also the two-edged tongue of mighty Zeno, who, Say what one would, could argue it untrue.
** [[Plutarch]], Plutarch's Lives, trans. John Dryden, rev. A. H. Clough, life of Pericles, vol. 1, p. 323 (1859).

* Middle-aged clubwoman, with a flutter in her voice: &quot;Oh, Mr. Stevenson, your speech was superfluous&quot;.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Thank you, madam. I've been thinking of having it published posthumously&quot;.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Oh, won't that be nice. The sooner the better&quot;.
** [[Adlai Stevenson]], U.S. ambassador to the United Nations, favorite anecdote on public occasions. Richard J. Walton, The Remnants of Power: The Tragic Last Years of Adlai Stevenson, p. 24 (1968).

* When the mariner has been tossed for many days in thick weather, and on an unknown sea, he naturally avails himself of the first pause in the storm, the earliest glance of the sun, to take his latitude, and ascertain how far the elements have driven him from his true course. Let us imitate this prudence, and, before we float farther on the waves of this debate, refer to the point from which we departed, that we may at least be able to conjecture where we now are.
** [[Daniel Webster]], second speech on Foote's resolution, delivered in the Senate, January 26, 1830. The Works of Daniel Webster, 10th ed., vol. 3, p. 270 (1857). His opening remarks on the sixth day of debate.

* It was a bit of campaign oratory.
** [[Wendell Willkie]], testimony, February 11, 1941. To Promote the Defense of the United States, hearings before the Committee on Foreign Relations, United States Senate, 77th Congress, 1st session, part 3, p. 905 (1941).

* A member of the Cabinet congratulated Wilson on introducing the vogue of short speeches and asked him about the time it took him to prepare his speeches. He said: &quot;It depends. If I am to speak ten minutes, I need a week for preparation; if fifteen minutes, three days; if half an hour, two days; if an hour, I am ready now&quot;.
** [[Woodrow Wilson]]. Josephus Daniels, The Wilson Era; Years of War and After, 1917–1923, p. 624 (1946).

==See also ==
*[[Preaching]]
*[[Speech]]

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:Discourse]]</text>
      <sha1>nqzhmzg0xr4o9q23ys5zj324clx5w7w</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944032</id>
      <parentid>3944031</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T20:56:24Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>GrimRob</username>
        <id>1187925</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Quotes */</comment>
      <origin>3944032</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="17535" sha1="iyzjumpa3tqgefqcwwzna5acgvvm1dg" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Cicerón denuncia a Catilina, por Cesare Maccari.jpg|thumb|300px|The Roman orator [[Cicero]] speaks to the Roman Senate.&lt;br /&gt;''Cicero Denounces Catiline'' (1889), fresco by Cesare Maccari]]

'''[[w:Public speaking|Public speaking]]''' or '''[[w:Oratory|Oratory]]''' is the process of speaking to a group of people in a structured, deliberate manner intended to inform, influence, or entertain the listeners. It is closely allied to &quot;presenting&quot;, although the latter has more of a commercial connotation.

== Quotes ==
[[File:Winston Churchill at a BBC microphone about to broadcast to the nation on the afternoon of VE Day, 8 May 1945. H41843.jpg|thumb|Of all the talents bestowed upon men, none is so precious as the gift of oratory.]]
*LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.
** [[Ambrose Bierce]], ''The Cynic's Dictionary'' (1906); republished as ''The Devil's Dictionary'' (1911).

* ORATORY, n. A conspiracy between speech and action to cheat the understanding. A tyranny tempered by stenography.
** [[Ambrose Bierce]], ''The Devil's Dictionary'' (1911).

* For rhetoric, he could not open&lt;br&gt;His mouth, but out there flew a trope.
** [[Samuel Butler (poet)|Samuel Butler]], ''Hudibras'', Part I (1663-64), Canto I, line 81.

* [[Poetry]], unlike oratory, should not aim at clarity... but be dense with meaning, 'something to be chewed and digested'...
** [[George Chapman]], ''Preface to Ovid's Banquet of Sense'' (1595)

* He mouths a sentence as curs mouth a bone.
** [[Charles Churchill]], ''The Rosciad'' (1761), line 322.

* Of all the talents bestowed upon men, none is so precious as the gift of oratory. He who enjoys it wields a power more durable than that of a great king. He is an independent force in the world. Abandoned by his party, betrayed by his friends, stripped of his offices, whoever can command this power is still formidable. Many have watched its effects. A meeting of grave citizens, protected by all the cynicism of these prosaic days, is unable to resist its influence. From unresponsive silence they advance to grudging approval and thence to complete agreement with the speaker. The cheers become louder and more frequent; the enthusiasm momentarily increases; until they are convulsed by emotions they are unable to control and shaken by passions of which they have resigned the direction.
** [[Winston Churchill]], [https://winstonchurchill.hillsdale.edu/the-scaffolding-of-rhetoric/ The Scaffolding of Rhetoric] (1897)

* We fear that the glittering generalities of the speaker have left an impression more delightful than permanent.
** [[F. J. Dickman]], ''Review of Lecture by Rufus Choate'', ''Providence Journal'' (Dec. 14, 1849).

* There is no true orator who is not a hero.
** [[Ralph Waldo Emerson]], ''Letters and Social Aims'' (1876), ''Eloquence''.

* ''Intererit multum Davusne loquatur an heros.''
** It makes a great difference whether Davus or a hero speaks.
** [[Horace]], ''Ars Poetica'' (18 BC), CXIV.

* Thence to the famous orators repair,&lt;br&gt;Those ancient, whose resistless eloquence&lt;br&gt;Wielded at will that fierce democratie,&lt;br&gt;Shook the Arsenal, and fulmined over Greece,&lt;br&gt;To Macedon, and Artaxerxes' throne.
** [[John Milton]], ''[[Paradise Regained]]'' (1671), Book IV, line 267.

* In the tradition of popular oratory, Trash [a nickname] started a talk at random, moved confidently ahead in no particular direction, and, although he spoke very clearly, said nothing.
** [[William Saroyan]], ''Madness in the Family'' (1988)

* Very good orators, when they are out, they will spit.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[As You Like It]]'' (c.1599-1600), Act IV, scene 1, line 75.

* Be not thy tongue thy own shame's orator.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[The Comedy of Errors]]'' (1592-1594), Act III, scene 2, line 10.

* List his discourse of war, and you shall hear&lt;br&gt;A fearful battle render'd you in music.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Henry V (play)|Henry V]]'' (c. 1599), Act I, scene 1, line 43.

* What means this passionate discourse,&lt;br&gt;This peroration with such circumstance?
** [[William Shakespeare]], [[Henry VI, Part 2|''Henry VI'', Part II]] (c. 1590-91), Act I, scene 1, line 104.

* I come not, friends, to steal away your hearts:&lt;br&gt;I am no orator, as Brutus is;&lt;br&gt;  *  *  I only speak right on.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Julius Caesar (play)|Julius Cæsar]]'' (1599), Act III, scene 2, line 220.

* Fear not, my lord, I'll play the orator&lt;br&gt;As if the golden fee for which I plead&lt;br&gt;Were for myself.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Richard III (play)|Richard III]]'' (c. 1591), Act III, scene 5, line 95.

* Bid me discourse, I will enchant thine ear,&lt;br&gt;Or, like a fairy, trip upon the green.
** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Venus and Adonis (Shakespeare poem)|Venus and Adonis]]'' (1593), line 145.

* Charm us, orator, till the lion look no larger than the cat.
** [[Alfred Tennyson]], ''Locksley Hall Sixty Years After'' (1886), line 112.

* There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus and upset the convictions and debauch the emotions of an audience not practised in the tricks and delusions of oratory.
** [[Mark Twain]], &quot;[[w:The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg|The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg]]&quot;, ch. III, in The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg and Other Stories and Essays (1900).

* When a great orator makes a great speech you are listening to ten centuries and ten thousand men — but we call it his speech, and really some exceedingly small portion of it is his. But not enough to signify. It is merely a Waterloo. It is Wellington's battle, in some degree, and we call it his; but there are others that contributed. It takes a thousand men to invent a telegraph, or a steam engine, or a phonograph, or a photograph, or a telephone or any other important thing—and the last man gets the credit and we forget the others. He added his little mite — that is all he did. These object lessons should teach us that ninety-nine parts of all things that proceed from the intellect are plagiarisms, pure and simple; and the lesson ought to make us modest. But nothing can do that.
** [[Mark Twain]], Letter to [[Helen Keller]], after she had been accused of plagiarism for one of her early stories (17 March 1903), published in Mark Twain's Letters, Vol. 1 (1917) edited by Albert Bigelow Paine, p. 731.

===''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations''===
:&lt;small&gt;Quotes reported in ''[[Wikisource:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922)|Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations]]'' (1922), p. 572-73.&lt;/small&gt;

* Solon wished everybody to be ready to take everybody else's part; but surely Chilo was wiser in holding that public affairs go best when the laws have much attention and the orators none.
** Rev. [[J. Beacon]], letter to Earl Grey on Reform (1831). See [[Plutarch]], ''Symposium'', ''Septem Sapientintium Convivium'', Chapter XI. I. (Chilo.)

* ''Ce que l'on conceit bien s'énonce clairement,&lt;br&gt;Et les mots pour le dire arrivent aisément.
** Whatever we conceive well we express clearly, and words flow with ease.
** [[Nicolas Boileau-Despréaux]], ''L'Art Poètique'', I. 153.

* The Orator persuades and carries all with him, he knows not how; the Rhetorician can prove that he ought to have persuaded and carried all with him.
** [[Thomas Carlyle]], ''Essays'', Characteristics.

* Its Constitution—the glittering and sounding generalities of natural right which make up the Declaration of Independence.
** [[Rufus Choate]], letter to the Maine Whig Committee (1856).

* I asked of my dear friend Orator Prig:&lt;br&gt;&quot;What's the first part of oratory?&quot; He said, &quot;A great, wig.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;And what is the second?&quot; Then, dancing a jig&lt;br&gt;And bowing profoundly, he said, &quot;A great wig.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;And what is the third?&quot; Then he snored like a pig,&lt;br&gt;And puffing his cheeks out, he replied, &quot;A great wig.&quot;
** [[George Colman the Younger]], ''Orator Prig''.

* Glittering generalities! They are blazing ubiquities.
** [[Ralph Waldo Emerson]], remark on Choate's words.

* You'd scarce expect one of my age&lt;br&gt;To speak in public on the stage;&lt;br&gt;And if I chance to fall below&lt;br&gt;Demosthenes or Cicero,&lt;br&gt;Don't view me with a critic's eye,&lt;br&gt;But pass my imperfections by.&lt;br&gt;Large streams from little fountains flow,&lt;br&gt;Tall oaks from little acorns grow.
** [[David Everett]], ''Lines Written for a School Declamation''.

* ''Allein der Vortrag macht des Redners Glück,&lt;br&gt;Ich fühl es wohl noch bin ich weit zurück.''
** Yet through delivery orators succeed,&lt;br&gt;  I feel that I am far behind indeed.
** [[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]], ''[[Goethe's Faust|Faust]]'', I. 1. 194.

* ''Es trägt Verstand und rechter Sinn,&lt;br&gt;Mit wenig Kunst sich selber vor.''
** With little art, clear wit and sense&lt;br&gt;  Suggest their own delivery.
** [[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]], ''[[Goethe's Faust|Faust]]'', I. 1. 198.

* The passions are the only orators that always persuade: they are, as it were, a natural art, the rules of which are infallible; and the simplest man with passion is more persuasive than the most eloquent without it.
** [[François de La Rochefoucauld]], ''Maxims''. No. 9.

* The object of oratory alone is not truth, but persuasion.
** [[Thomas Babington Macaulay, 1st Baron Macaulay]], ''Essay on Athenian Orators''.

* The capital of the orator is in the bank of the highest sentimentalities and the purest enthusiasms.
** [[Edward Griffin Parker|Edward G. Parker]], ''The Golden Age of American Oratory'', Chapter I

* ''Præterea multo magis, ut vulgo dicitur viva vox afficit: nam licet acriora sint, quæ legas, ultius tamen in ammo sedent, quæ pronuntiatio, vultus, habitus, gestus dicentis adfigit.''
** Besides, as is usually the case, we are much more affected by the words which we hear, for though what you read in books may be more pointed, yet there is something in the voice, the look, the carriage, and even the gesture of the speaker, that makes a deeper impression upon the mind.
** [[Pliny the Younger]], ''Epistles'', II. 3.

* When Demosthenes was asked what was the first part of Oratory, he answered, &quot;Action,&quot; and which was the second, he replied, &quot;Action,&quot; and which was the third, he still answered &quot;Action.&quot;
** [[Plutarch]], ''Morals''. ''Lives of the Ten Orators''. Referred to by [[Cicero]], ''De Orators'', III. 214. Oration 55, and Brutus. 234.

* It is a thing of no great difficulty to raise objections against another man's oration,—nay, it is a very easy matter; but to produce a better in its place is a work extremely troublesome.
** [[Plutarch]], ''Of Hearing'', VI.

* Fire in each eye, and papers in each hand,&lt;br&gt;They rave, recite, and madden round the land.
** [[Alexander Pope]], ''Prologue to Satires'', line 5.

===''Respectfully Quoted'' (1989)===
* I was very glad that Mr. Attlee described my speeches in the war as expressing the will not only of Parliament but of the whole nation. Their will was resolute and remorseless and, as it proved, unconquerable. It fell to me to express it, and if I found the right words you must remember that I have always earned my living by my pen and by my tongue. It was a nation and race dwelling all round the globe that had the lion heart. I had the luck to be called upon to give the roar.
** [[Winston Churchill]], address marking his 80th birthday, Westminster Hall, London, November 30, 1954. Winston S. Churchill: His Complete Speeches, 1897–1963, ed. Robert Rhodes James, vol. 8, p. 8608–9 (1974).

* One woman who managed to corner him, the story runs, said in a treacly gushing voice:&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Doesn't it thrill you, Mr. Churchill, to know that every time you make a speech the hall is packed to overflowing?&quot;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&quot;It is quite flattering&quot;, Mr. Churchill replied, &quot;but whenever I feel this way I always remember that if instead of making a political speech I was being hanged, the crowd would be twice as big&quot;.
** [[Winston Churchill]], remark on a transatlantic tour. Norman McGowan, My Years with Churchill, p. 138 (1958).

* When I see a bird that walks like a duck and swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, I call that bird a duck.
** Attributed to [[Richard Cardinal Cushing]]. Everett Dirksen and Herbert V. Prochnow, Quotation Finder, p. 55 (1971). Reported as unverified in ''Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations'' (1989).

* Then there was a maiden speech, so inaudible, that it was doubted whether, after all, the young orator really did lose his virginity.
** [[Benjamin Disraeli]], ''The Young Duke'' (first published in 1831; republished 1859), chapter 6, p. 19.

* It is reputed that Mr. Disraeli when he was once asked by a new member whether he advised him to take part often in debate replied:—&lt;br&gt;No, I do not think you ought to do so, because it is much better that the House should wonder why you do not speak than why you do.&lt;br&gt;My advice in this matter is very much the same as that given by Mr. Disraeli; it is much better when a member resumes his seat after he has made a speech for the House to have the feeling that they wish he had gone on longer instead of wondering why he did not stop sooner.
** [[Edward Algernon Fitzroy]], remarks in the House of Commons, May 25, 1939, as reported by The Times (London), May 26, 1939, p. 7. FitzRoy, Speaker of the House of Commons, was quoting the nineteenth century Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli, Lord Beaconsfield. Quoted in slightly different form in the Congressional Record, June 2, 1939, vol. 84, p. 6538–39.

* It is amazing how soon one becomes accustomed to the sound of one's voice, when forced to repeat a speech five or six times a day. As election day approaches, the size of the crowds grows; they are more responsive and more interested; and one derives a certain exhilaration from that which, only a few weeks before, was intensely painful. This is one possible explanation of unlimited debate in the Senate.
** [[J. William Fulbright]], &quot;The Legislator&quot;, lecture delivered at the University of Chicago, Chicago, Illinois, in 1946. The Works of the Mind, ed. for the University's Committee on Social Thought by Robert B. Heywood, p. 123 (1947).

* Every living sentence which shows a mind at work for itself is to be welcomed. It is not the first use but the tiresome repetition of inadequate catch words which I am observing—phrases which originally were contributions, but which, by their very felicity, delay further analysis for fifty years. That comes from the same source as dislike of novelty—intellectual indolence or weakness—a slackening in the eternal pursuit of the more exact.
**[[Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.]], &quot;Law in Science and Science in Law&quot;, address before the New York State Bar Association, January 17, 1899. Collected Legal Papers by Oliver Wendell Holmes, p. 230–31 (1937).

* The art of reasoning becomes of first importance. In this line antiquity has left us the finest models for imitation;… I should consider the speeches of Livy, Sallust, and Tacitus, as pre-eminent specimens of logic, taste, and that sententious brevity which, using not a word to spare, leaves not a moment for inattention to the hearer. Amplification is the vice of modern oratory.
** [[Thomas Jefferson]], letter to David Harding, April 20, 1824. The Writings of Thomas Jefferson, ed. Andrew A. Lipscomb, vol. 16, p. 30 (1904).

* Also the two-edged tongue of mighty Zeno, who, Say what one would, could argue it untrue.
** [[Plutarch]], Plutarch's Lives, trans. John Dryden, rev. A. H. Clough, life of Pericles, vol. 1, p. 323 (1859).

* Middle-aged clubwoman, with a flutter in her voice: &quot;Oh, Mr. Stevenson, your speech was superfluous&quot;.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Thank you, madam. I've been thinking of having it published posthumously&quot;.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Oh, won't that be nice. The sooner the better&quot;.
** [[Adlai Stevenson]], U.S. ambassador to the United Nations, favorite anecdote on public occasions. Richard J. Walton, The Remnants of Power: The Tragic Last Years of Adlai Stevenson, p. 24 (1968).

* When the mariner has been tossed for many days in thick weather, and on an unknown sea, he naturally avails himself of the first pause in the storm, the earliest glance of the sun, to take his latitude, and ascertain how far the elements have driven him from his true course. Let us imitate this prudence, and, before we float farther on the waves of this debate, refer to the point from which we departed, that we may at least be able to conjecture where we now are.
** [[Daniel Webster]], second speech on Foote's resolution, delivered in the Senate, January 26, 1830. The Works of Daniel Webster, 10th ed., vol. 3, p. 270 (1857). His opening remarks on the sixth day of debate.

* It was a bit of campaign oratory.
** [[Wendell Willkie]], testimony, February 11, 1941. To Promote the Defense of the United States, hearings before the Committee on Foreign Relations, United States Senate, 77th Congress, 1st session, part 3, p. 905 (1941).

* A member of the Cabinet congratulated Wilson on introducing the vogue of short speeches and asked him about the time it took him to prepare his speeches. He said: &quot;It depends. If I am to speak ten minutes, I need a week for preparation; if fifteen minutes, three days; if half an hour, two days; if an hour, I am ready now&quot;.
** [[Woodrow Wilson]]. Josephus Daniels, The Wilson Era; Years of War and After, 1917–1923, p. 624 (1946).

==See also ==
*[[Preaching]]
*[[Speech]]

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:Discourse]]</text>
      <sha1>iyzjumpa3tqgefqcwwzna5acgvvm1dg</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>William Shakespeare</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>126513</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943984</id>
      <parentid>3916646</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T15:48:53Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30344-86</username>
        <id>3326533</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* {{w|Much Ado About Nothing}} (1598) */</comment>
      <origin>3943984</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="84531" sha1="grgxr64unrv6mf9267feh2soxgvmm8k" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Shakespeare Portrait Comparisons 2.JPG|244px|thumb|right|[[All]] the [[world]]'s a stage, and all the [[men]] and [[women]] merely players:&lt;br&gt;They have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts...&lt;br&gt;~ Jaques in ''[[As You Like It]]'']]
[[File:Julius Caesar Coustou Louvre MR1798.jpg|thumb|  The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves, that we are underlings.  Cassius, Act I, scene ii.]]
'''{{w|William Shakespeare}}''' ([[26 April]] [[1564]] ([[w:baptism|baptised]]) – [[23 April]] [[1616]]) was an English {{w|poet}}, {{w|playwright}}, and actor, widely regarded as the greatest writer in the {{w|English language}} and the world's pre-eminent dramatist.

:See also:
::'''''[[Hamlet]]'''''
::'''''[[King Lear]]'''''
::'''''[[Romeo and Juliet]]'''''
:and '''[[#More works of Shakespeare on Wikiquote|more works]]''' on Wikiquote.

==William Shakespeare Quotes ==
[[File:CHANDOS3.jpg|thumb|right|But release me from my bands&lt;br&gt;With the [[help]] of your [[good]] [[hands]].&lt;br&gt;Gentle breath of yours my sails&lt;br&gt;Must fill, or else my project fails,&lt;br&gt;Which was to please. Now I want&lt;br&gt;[[Spirits]] to enforce, [[art]] to enchant;&lt;br&gt;And my [[ending]] is [[despair]],&lt;br&gt;Unless I be reliev'd by [[prayer]],&lt;br&gt;Which pierces so that it assaults&lt;br&gt;[[Mercy]] itself, and frees all faults.&lt;br&gt;As you from [[crimes]] would pardon'd be,&lt;br&gt;Let your indulgence set me [[Freedom|free]].&lt;br&gt;~ {{w|Prospero}} in ''[[The Tempest]]'']]
[[File:Cobbe portrait of Shakespeare.jpg|thumb|right|[[Time]]'s [[glory]] is to calm contending kings,&lt;br&gt;To unmask [[falsehood]], and bring [[truth]] to [[light]]. ~ The Rape of Lucrece]]
[[File:Shakespeare grave -Stratford-upon-Avon -3June2007.jpg|thumb|right|[[Blessings|Blese]] be the man that spares these stones&lt;br&gt;And curst be he that moves my bones]]

* What cannot be eschewed must be embraced
** &quot;The Merry Wives of Windsor&quot;, Act 5

* '''[[Beauty]] itself doth of itself persuade&lt;br /&gt;The eyes of men without an orator.'''
** ''[[s:The_Rape_of_Lucrece|The Rape of Lucrece]]'' (1594).

* '''[[Time]]'s [[glory]] is to calm contending kings,&lt;br&gt;To unmask falsehood, and bring [[truth]] to [[light]].'''
** ''The Rape of Lucrece''.

* That deep torture may be called a hell,&lt;br&gt;When more is felt than one hath power to tell.
** ''The Rape of Lucrece''.

* On a day — alack the day! —&lt;br&gt;[[Love]], whose month is ever May,&lt;br&gt;Spied a blossom passing fair&lt;br&gt;Playing in the wanton air
** ''Sonnets to Sundry Notes of Music'', II. Not to be confused with [[The Sonnets]]; this poem is not a {{w|sonnet}}

* Crabbed age and youth cannot live together:&lt;br&gt;Youth is full of pleasure, age is full of care
** ''The Passionate Pilgrim'': A Madrigal; there is some doubt about the authorship of this.

* I gyve unto my wief my second best bed with the furniture
** [[s:Shakespeare's last will and testament|Shakespeare's will]]

* '''Good frend for [[Jesus]] sake forbeare&lt;br&gt;To digg the dust encloased heare&lt;br&gt;[[Blessings|Blese]] be the man that spares these stones&lt;br&gt;And curst be he that moves my bones'''
** Shakespeare's epitaph


&lt;!--
=== ''{{w|The Two Gentlemen of Verona}}'' (1590–1) ===
{{main|The Two Gentlemen of Verona}}

* I was in love with my bed.
** '''Speed,''' Act II, scene i.

* Is she not passing fair?
** '''Silvia,''' Act IV, scene iv.

* How use doth breed a habit in a man!
** '''Valentine,''' Act V, scene iv.

=== ''{{w|Henry VI, Part 1}}'' (1592) ===
{{main|Henry VI, Part 1}}

* Hung be the heavens with black, yield day to night!
** '''Bedford,''' Act I, scene i.

* Defer no time, delays have dangerous ends.
** '''Alençon,''' Act III, scene ii.

* She's beautiful, and therefore to be woo'd;&lt;br&gt;She is a woman, therefore to be won.
** '''Suffolk,''' Act V, scene iii.

=== ''{{w|Henry VI, Part 2}}'' (1592) ===
{{main|Henry VI, Part 2}}

* The fox barks not, when he would steal the lamb.
** '''Suffolk,''' Act III, scene i.

* The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.
** '''Dick the Butcher,''' Act IV, scene ii.

* Thou hast most traitorously corrupted the youth of the realm in erecting a grammar-school; and whereas, before, our forefathers had no other books but the score and the tally, thou hast caused printing to be used; and, contrary to the king, his crown, and dignity, thou hast built a paper-mill.
** '''Cade,''' Act IV, scene vii.

=== ''{{w|Henry VI, Part 3}}'' (1592) ===
{{main|Henry VI, Part 3}}

* The smallest [[worm]] will turn, being trodden on.
** '''Clifford,''' Act II, scene ii.

* O God! methinks, it were a happy life,&lt;br&gt;To be no better than a homely swain;&lt;br&gt;To sit upon a hill, as I do now,&lt;br&gt;To carve out dials quaintly, point by point,&lt;br&gt;Thereby to see the minutes how they run:&lt;br&gt;How many make the hour full complete,&lt;br&gt;How many hours bring about the day,&lt;br&gt;How many days will finish up the year,&lt;br&gt;How many years a mortal man may live.
** '''King Henry,''' Act II, scene v.

* Down, down to hell; and say I sent thee thither.
** '''Richard of Gloucester,''' Act V, scene vi.
--&gt;
=== [[w:Richard III (play)|''Richard III'']] (1592–3) ===
{{main|Richard III (play)}}

* Now is the winter of our discontent&lt;br&gt;Made glorious summer by this sun of York.
** '''Richard,''' Act I, scene i.

* Off with his head!
** '''Richard,''' Act III, scene iv.

* A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!
** '''Richard,''' Act V, scene iv.

=== ''{{w|Romeo and Juliet}}'' (1595) ===
[[File:Romeo and juliet brown.jpg|thumb|O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?]]
{{main|Romeo and Juliet}}

* What light through yonder window breaks?
** '''Romeo,''' Act II, scene ii.

* What's in a name? That which we call a rose,&lt;br&gt;By any other name would smell as sweet.
** '''Juliet,''' Act II, scene ii.

* O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?
** '''Juliet,''' Act II, scene ii.

=== ''{{w|A Midsummer Night's Dream}}'' (1595) ===
{{main|A Midsummer Night's Dream}}

* The course of true love never did run smooth.
** '''Lysander,''' Act I, scene i.

* Lord, what fools these mortals be!
** '''Puck,''' Act III, scene ii.

* Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,&lt;br&gt;And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind.
** '''Helena,''' Act I, scene i.

=== ''{{w|The Merchant of Venice}}'' (1596–7) ===
{{main|The Merchant of Venice}}

* If to do were as easy as to know what were good to do, chapels had been churches, and poor men’s cottages princes’ palaces.
** '''Portia,''' Act I, scene ii.

* '''It is a wise father that knows his own child.'''
** '''Launcelot Gobbo,''' Act II, scene ii.

* All that glisters is not gold.
** '''Prince of Morocco,''' reading Portia's note, Act II, scene vii; this is the source of the popular paraphrase &quot;{{w|All that glitters is not gold}}.&quot;

* I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, heal'd by the same means, warm'd and cool'd by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?
** '''Shylock,''' Act III, scene i.

=== ''{{w|Henry IV, Part 1}}'' (1597-8) ===
{{main|Henry IV, Part 1}}

* The better part of valour is discretion; in the which better part I have saved my life.
** '''Falstaff,''' Act V, scene iv.

=== ''{{w|Henry IV, Part 2}}'' (1597-8) ===
{{main|Henry IV, Part 2}}
[[File:The Palace at Westminster, King Henry and the Prince of Wales (Shakespeare, King Henry IV, Part 2, Act 4, Scene 4) first published 1795, reissued 1852 Robert Thew, after Josiah Boydell.jpg|thumb|Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.]]
* A man can die but once.
** '''Feeble,''' Act III, scene ii.

* Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.
** '''King Henry,''' Act III, scene i.

=== ''{{w|Much Ado About Nothing}}'' (1598) ===
{{main|Much Ado About Nothing}}

* As merry as the day is long.
** Beatrice, Act II, scene i.

* Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,&lt;br&gt;Men were deceivers ever;&lt;br&gt;One foot in sea, and one on shore,&lt;br&gt;To one thing constant never.
** '''Balthazar,''' Act II, scene iii.

* Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps.
** '''Hero,''' Act III, scene i.

* Can the world buy such a jewel?
** '''Claudio''' Act I, scene i.

=== [[w:Julius Caesar (play)|''Julius Caesar'']] (1599) ===
{{main|Julius Caesar (play)}}
[[File:Jean-Léon Gérôme - The Death of Caesar - Walters 37884.jpg|thumb|Beware the ides of March.]]
* Beware the ides of March.
** '''Soothsayer,''' Act I, scene ii.

* Men at some time are masters of their fates:&lt;br&gt;The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,&lt;br&gt;But in ourselves, that we are underlings.
** '''Cassius,''' Act I, scene ii.

* Cowards die many times before their deaths;&lt;br&gt;The valiant never taste of death but once.
** '''Caesar,''' Act II, scene ii.

* Cry 'Havoc!,' and let slip the dogs of war.
** '''Antony,''' Act III, scene i.

* Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;&lt;br&gt;I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.&lt;br&gt;The evil that men do lives after them;&lt;br&gt;The good is oft interred with their bones.
** '''Antony,''' Act III, scene ii.

=== ''{{w|As You Like It}}'' (1599–1600) ===
{{main|As You Like It}}

* All the world's a stage,&lt;br&gt;And all the men and women merely players:&lt;br&gt;They have their exits and their entrances;&lt;br&gt;And one man in his time plays many parts.
** '''Jaques,''' Act II, scene vii.
*'The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.'
**'''Touchstone''', Act V, scene i

=== ''{{w|Hamlet}}'' (1600–1) ===
{{main|Hamlet}}
[[File:Bernhardt Hamlet2.jpg|thumb|To be or not to be, that is the question.]]
* Neither a borrower nor a lender be;&lt;br&gt;For loan oft loses both itself and friend,&lt;br&gt;And borrowing dulls the edge of [[husbandry]].&lt;br&gt;This above all: to thine ownself be true.&lt;br&gt;And it must follow, as the night the day,&lt;br&gt;Thou canst not then be false to any man.
** '''Polonius,''' Act I, scene iii.

* Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice.
** '''Polonius,''' Act I, scene iii.

*The time is out of joint: O cursed spite,&lt;br&gt;That ever I was born to set it right!
** '''Hamlet,''' Act I, scene v.

*There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, / Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
** '''Hamlet,''' Act I, scene v.

* There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
** '''Hamlet,''' Act II, scene ii.

* What a piece of work is a man!&lt;br&gt;How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty!&lt;br&gt;In form and moving how express and admirable!&lt;br&gt;In action how like an angel,&lt;br&gt;in apprehension how like a god!
** '''Hamlet,''' Act II, scene ii.

* To be or not to be, that is the question.
** '''Hamlet,''' Act III, scene i.

=== ''{{w|Twelfth Night}}'' (1601) ===
[[File:Orsino and viola Frederick Richard Pickersgill.jpg|thumb|If music be the food of love, play on.]]
{{main|Twelfth Night}}

* If music be the food of love, play on.
** '''Orsino,''' Act I, scene i.

* Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em.
** '''Malvolio,''' Act II, scene v.

=== ''{{w|Othello}}'' (1603–4) ===
{{main|Othello}}

* Reputation is an idle and most false imposition; oft got without merit and lost without deserving.
** '''Iago,''' Act II, scene iii.

* Of one that lov'd not wisely but too well.
** '''Othello,''' Act V, scene ii.

=== ''{{w|Timon of Athens}}'' (1605) ===
{{main|Timon of Athens}}

* We have seen better days.
** '''Flavius,''' Act IV, scene ii.

=== ''{{w|King Lear}}'' (1605–6) ===
{{main|King Lear}}
[[File:William Dyce - King Lear and the Fool in the Storm.jpg|thumb|I am a man,&lt;br&gt;More sinn'd against than sinning.]]
* Nothing can come of nothing.
** '''Lear,''' Act I, scene i.

* How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is&lt;br&gt;To have a thankless child!
** '''Lear,''' Act I, scene iv.

* I am a man,&lt;br&gt;More sinn'd against than sinning.
** '''Lear,''' Act III, scene ii.

=== ''{{w|Antony and Cleopatra}}'' (1606) ===
{{main|Antony and Cleopatra}}

* The barge she sat in, like a burnish'd throne,&lt;br&gt;Burnt on the water.
** '''Enobarbus,''' Act II, scene ii.

=== ''{{w|Macbeth}}'' (1606) ===
{{main|Macbeth}}
[[File:Second Folio Title Page of Macbeth.jpg|thumb|Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,&lt;br&gt;Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,&lt;br&gt;To the last syllable of recorded time;&lt;br&gt;And all our yesterdays have lighted fools&lt;br&gt;The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!&lt;br&gt;Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player&lt;br&gt;That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,&lt;br&gt;And then is heard no more. It is a tale&lt;br&gt;Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,&lt;br&gt;Signifying nothing.]]
* Come what come may,&lt;br&gt;Time and the hour runs through the roughest day.
** '''Macbeth,''' Act I, scene iii.

* Is this a dagger which I see before me,&lt;br&gt;The handle toward my hand?
** '''Macbeth,''' Act II, scene i.

* Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,&lt;br&gt;Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,&lt;br&gt;To the last syllable of recorded time;&lt;br&gt;And all our yesterdays have lighted fools&lt;br&gt;The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!&lt;br&gt;Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player&lt;br&gt;That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,&lt;br&gt;And then is heard no more. It is a tale&lt;br&gt;Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,&lt;br&gt;Signifying nothing.
** '''Macbeth,''' Act V, scene v.

* All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand.
** '''Macbeth,''' Act V, scene i.

=== [[w:Shakespeare's sonnets|''Sonnets'']] (1609) ===
[[File:Shakespeare's sonnets title page.png|thumb|So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,&lt;br&gt;So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.]]
{{main|The Sonnets}}

* Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?&lt;br&gt;Thou art more lovely and more temperate:&lt;BR&gt;Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, &lt;BR&gt;And summer's lease hath all too short a date
** XVIII

* '''So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,&lt;br&gt;So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.'''
** XVIII

* Let me not to the marriage of true minds&lt;br&gt;Admit impediments.
** CXVI

=== ''{{w|Cymbeline}}'' (1610) ===
{{main|Cymbeline}}

* Golden lads and girls all must,&lt;br&gt;As chimney-sweepers, come to dust.
** '''Guiderius,''' Act IV, scene ii.

=== ''{{w|The Tempest}}'' (1611) ===
{{main|The Tempest}}

* Full fathom five thy father lies;&lt;br&gt;Of his bones are coral made;&lt;br&gt;Those are pearls that were his eyes;&lt;br&gt;Nothing of him that doth fade,&lt;br&gt;But doth suffer a sea-change&lt;br&gt;Into something rich and strange.
** '''Ariel,''' Act I, scene ii.

* Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows.
** '''Trinculo,''' Act II, scene ii.

* We are such stuff&lt;br&gt;As dreams are made on; and our little life&lt;br&gt;Is rounded with a sleep.
** '''Prospero,''' Act IV, scene i.

{{Misattributed begin}}

== Misattributed ==
* Beware the leader who bangs the drums of [[war]] in order to whip the citizenry into a patriotic fervor, for patriotism is indeed a double-edged sword. The saying goes you live by the sword you shall die by the sword...It both emboldens the blood, just as it narrows the mind. And when the drums of war have reached a fever pitch and the blood boils with hate and the mind has closed, the leader will have no need in seizing the rights of the citizenry. Rather, the citizenry, infused with fear and blinded by patriotism, will offer up all of their rights unto the leader and gladly so. How do I know? For this is what I have done. And I am Caesar.
** This statement by an unknown author has also been wrongly attributed to [[Julius Caesar]], as well as to [[Julius Caesar (play)|Shakespeare's play]] on his assassination and its aftermath, but there are no records of it prior to late 2000. It has been debunked at [http://www.snopes.com/quotes/caesar.htm Snopes.com]

* Nothing is more common than the wish to be remarkable.
** [[Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.]], ''The Autocrat of the Breakfast Table'' (1858), ch. XII : Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable. Misattributed to Shakespeare in ''[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Criminal_Minds_(season_1) Criminal Minds]'' (&quot;L.D.S.K.&quot; - season 1, episode 6).

* Children wish fathers looked but with their eyes; fathers that children with their judgment looked; and either may be wrong.
** Derived from ''A Midsummer Night's Dream'' on p. 269, ''Aphorisms from Shakespeare'' (1812), Capel Lofft, Longman, Hurst, Rees, Orme and Brown, a book which rewrites in aphoristic form Shakespeare quotations, in this case the exchange between Hermia and Theseus: &quot;I would my father look'd but with my eyes&quot;, &quot;Rather your eyes must with his judgment look&quot;.

* However wickedness outstrips men, it has no wings to fly from [[God]].
** Derived from a longer quote in ''[[Henry V (play)|Henry V]]'', reported in Josiah Hotchkiss Gilbert, ''Dictionary of Burning Words of Brilliant Writers'' (1895), p. 283.

* He who has injured thee was either stronger or weaker than thee. If weaker, spare him; if stronger, spare thyself.
** Truly from {{w|Seneca the Younger}}, in ''De Ira'', Book III, Chapter V:&lt;br&gt;''Aut potentior te aut inbecillior laesit: si inbecillior, parce illi, si potentior, tibi.''

* The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.
** Not by Shakespeare, but from ''Finding Your Strength in Difficult Times: A Book of Meditations'', a 1993 self-help book by David S. Viscott.&lt;ref&gt;http://quoteinvestigator.com/2014/06/16/purpose-gift/&lt;/ref&gt;

* There is plenty of time to sleep in the grave.
** Paraphrase of Benjamin Franklin, ''[[Poor Richard's Almanack]]'', &quot;in the grave will be sleeping enough&quot; ([[Benjamin Franklin#1740s|Sept 1741]]), or, &quot;there will be sleeping enough in the Grave&quot; ([[Benjamin Franklin#1750s|Preface 1758]]).

* When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry.
** Attributed in English sources as a [https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/298704/when-a-father-gives-to-his-son-both-laugh-when-a-son-gives-to-his-father-bot Yiddish proverb].

{{Misattributed end}}

== Quotes about Shakespeare ==
[[File:Hw-shakespeare.jpg|thumb|right|Shakespear's [[Magic]]k could not copy'd be,&lt;br&gt;Within that [[Circle]] none durst walk but he. ~  [[John Dryden]] ]]
[[File:Sanders portrait2.jpg|thumb|right|The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he is really very [[good]] — in spite of all the people who say he is very good. ~ [[Robert Graves]] ]]

[[File:Shakespeare Flower.jpg|thumb|right|Shakespeare led a [[life]] of Allegory; his works are the comments on it. ~ [[John Keats]] ]]
:&lt;small&gt;Alphabetised by author&lt;/small&gt;

*The vision that impels feminists to action was the vision of the Grandmothers' society, the society that was captured in the words of the sixteenth-century explorer [[Peter Martyr]] nearly five hundred years ago. It is the same vision repeated over and over by radical thinkers of Europe and America, from [[François Villon]] to [[John Locke]], from [[William Shakespeare]] to [[Thomas Jefferson]], from [[Karl Marx]] to [[Friedrich Engels]], from [[Benito Juarez]] to [[Martin Luther King]], from [[Elizabeth Cady Stanton]] to [[Judy Grahn]], from [[Harriet Tubman]] to [[Audre Lorde]], from [[Emma Goldman]] to [[Bella Abzug]], from [[Malinalli]] to [[Cherrie Moraga]], and from [[Iyatiku]] to me. That vision as Martyr told it is of a country where there are &quot;no soldiers, no gendarmes or police, no nobles, kings, regents, prefects, or judges, no prisons, no lawsuits... All are equal and free.&quot;
**[[Paula Gunn Allen]] ''The Sacred Hoop: Recovering the Feminine in American Indian Traditions'' (1986)

*when you look for the motivations you always go to the basic instincts, to the basic emotions, the basic things that have moved humankind always. That's what all writers write about, ultimately. What did Shakespeare write about? Jealousy, love, sex, power, greed, the same stuff that soap operas and the Bible are made of. It's always the same.
**1994 interview included in ''Conversations with [[Isabel Allende]]'' (1999)

*Can you imagine if somebody told him in the 16th century, 'Listen, you're going to inspire a black girl in the 20th century in Arkansas, who will be a mute&quot;?
**1987 interview in ''Conversations with [[Maya Angelou]]'' (1989)

* I keep saying, Shakspeare, Shakspeare, you are as obscure as life is.
** [[Matthew Arnold]], Letter to [[Arthur Hugh Clough]] (ca. 6 December 1847)

* Shakespeare one gets acquainted with without knowing how. It is a part of an Englishman's constitution. His thoughts and beauties are so spread abroad that one touches them every where, one is intimate with him by instinct.
** [[Jane Austen]], ''[[Mansfield Park (novel)|Mansfield Park]]'' (1814), Ch. 34.

*Even if you do not realise it now, the time will come when you will be thankful that you were steeped in Shakespeare as boys. In him we not only have, as [[w:Gerald du Maurier|Sir Gerald Du Maurier]] said here not long ago, perhaps the greatest man the world has ever seen, but one who had a profound knowledge of human nature and of the world. Shakespeare was one of those few poets in whom we find the magic which comes straight from heaven, and which is the prerogative of the very greatest: such magic as we find in the poetry of [[John Keats|Keats]], in the first scene of the last act of ''[[The Merchant of Venice]]'' and throughout the [[The Sonnets|sonnets]].
**[[Stanley Baldwin]], speech to the City of London School (13 June 1924), quoted in Stanley Baldwin, ''On England, And other Addresses'' (1926), p. 120

*Shakespeare's plays, no matter of what country he may be writing, are redolent of our own soil and of our own country people. The habit of thought and the outlook of Shakespeare’s country people and of those wise men, Shakespeare’s fools, may be found to-day in our rural counties. 
**[[Stanley Baldwin]], speech to the City of London School (13 June 1924), quoted in Stanley Baldwin, ''On England, And other Addresses'' (1926), p. 120

*Shakespeare will not make us better, and he will not make us worse, but he may teach us how to overhear ourselves when we talk to ourselves. Subsequently, he may teach us how to accept change, in ourselves as in others, and perhaps even the final form of change. [[Hamlet]] is death's ambassador to us, perhaps one of the few ambassadors ever sent out by death who does not lie to us about our inevitable relationship with that undiscovered country. The relationship is altogether solitary, despite all of tradition's obscene attempts to socialize it.
**[[Harold Bloom]], ''[[w:The Western Canon|The Western Canon: The Books and School of the Ages]]'' (1994), p. 30

*I love that moment in [[James Joyce|Joyce]] when his friend, the painter, asks him the desert-island question about which of the two greatest Western writers to keep: &quot;I should like to answer [[Dante Alighieri|Dante]], but I would have to take the Englishman, because he is richer!&quot; He is, it's the truth. He is richer than [[Homer]], which is astonishing. Everybody in ''[[The Divine Comedy]]'', except Dante the Pilgrim, has achieved their final form. But Shakespeare is change. In that sense, he always remains an [[Ovid]]ian poet, and in the same sense, anti-Platonic.
**[[Harold Bloom]], quoted in Adam Fitzgerald, '[https://www.bostonreview.net/articles/adam-fitzgerald-anatomy-influence/ The Anatomy of Influence: An interview with Harold Bloom]', ''Boston Review'' (1 April 2011)

* History adds that before or after dying he found himself in the presence of God and told Him: &quot;I who have been so many men in vain want to be one and myself.&quot; The voice of the Lord answered from a whirlwind: &quot;Neither am I anyone; I have dreamt the world as you dreamt your work, my Shakespeare, and among the forms in my dream are you, who like myself are many and no one.&quot;
** [[Jorge Luis Borges]], &quot;Everything and Nothing&quot; (trans. James E. Irby), last paragraph.

* Shakespeare is a bard of mass destruction.
** [[Giannina Braschi]], &quot;United States of Banana&quot; (2011), p. 37. 

* Shakespeare's drama, where ideal women walk&lt;br&gt;in worship, and the baser sort find sympathy.
** [[Robert Bridges]], ''The Testament of Beauty'' (1929), Book III, line 921.

* There, Shakespeare, on whose forehead climb&lt;br&gt;The crowns o' the [[world]].&lt;br&gt;Oh, [[eyes]] sublime&lt;br&gt;With [[tears]] and [[laughter]] for all [[time]].
** [[Elizabeth Barrett Browning]], ''A Vision of Poets'' (1844).

* '''If Shakespeare required a word and had not met it in civilized discourse, he unhesitatingly made it up.'''
** [[Anthony Burgess]], ''The Dictionary Makers'' [https://web.archive.org/web/20150731075309/http://archive.wilsonquarterly.com/sites/default/files/articles/WQ_VOL17_SU_1993_Article_04.pdf]

* Know the same favour which the former knew,&lt;br&gt;A shrine for Shakspeare—worthy him and you?&lt;br&gt;Yes—it shall be—the magic of that name&lt;br&gt;Defies the scythe of time, the torch of flame.
** [[Lord Byron]], Address spoken at the opening of Drury Lane Theatre, (10 October 1812), ''The Works of Lord Byron. Complete in One Volume'' (1837)

* Shakespeare's name, you may depend upon it, stands absurdly too high and will go down. He had no invention as to stories, none whatever. He took all his plots from old novels, and threw their stories into dramatic shape... That he threw over whatever he did write some flashes of genius, nobody can deny; but this was all.
** [[Lord Byron]], letter to James Hogg (24 March 1814), as quoted in ''Chambers Dictionary of Quotations'' (1997), p. 221.

* My object has been to dramatise, like the Greeks (a ''modest'' phrase), striking passages of history, as they did of history and mythology. You will find all this very ''un''like Shakspeare; and so much the better in one sense, for I look upon him to be the ''worst'' of models, though the most extraordinary of writers. 
** [[Lord Byron]], letter to John Murray (14 July 1821), ''The Life of Lord Byron, With His Letters and Journals'' (1847)

* Consider now, if they asked us, Will you give up your Indian Empire or your Shakespeare, you English: never have had any Indian Empire, or never have had any Shakespeare? Really it were a grave question. Official persons would answer doubtless in official language; but we, for our part too, should not we be forced to answer: '''Indian Empire, or no Indian Empire; we cannot do without Shakespeare! Indian Empire will go, at any rate, some day; but this Shakespeare does not go, he lasts forever with us; we cannot give up our Shakespeare!'''
** [[Thomas Carlyle]], &quot;On Heroes, Hero-Worship, and the Heroic in History&quot; (1841), Lecture 3. The Hero as Poet. Dante; Shakespeare.

*The first play I ever saw was a Shakespeare play... The great rolling emotion somehow comes through. So it was personal. But I think also if you're English and English literature is the thing, you can't help it. In Shakespeare the more I read the more I see the amount of things that come from Shakespeare or come via Shakespeare to the English cannot be exaggerated, and you find it everywhere, it's like the air you breathe. And so one's categories of character are so much the ones that Shakespeare created.
**[[Lord David Cecil]], quoted in Tristram Powell, 'A Television Interview', in ''David Cecil: A Portrait by his Friends'' (1990), p. 163

* The souls most fed with Shakespeare's flame &lt;br&gt; Still sat unconquered in a ring, &lt;br&gt; Remembering him like anything.
** [[G. K. Chesterton]], &quot;Shakespeare Memorial&quot; (1915).

* The greatest genius that perhaps human nature has yet produced, '''our myriad-minded Shakespeare'''.
** [[Samuel Taylor Coleridge]], ''Biographia Literaria'' (1817), Chapter XV. Borrowed from a Greek monk who applied it to a Patriarch of Constantinople.

* He is of no age — nor, I may add, of any religion, or party, or profession. The body and substance of his works came out of the unfathomable depths of his own oceanic mind.
** [[Samuel Taylor Coleridge]], ''Specimens of the Table Talk of the Late Samuel Taylor Coleridge'', Vol. II (1835), p. 301.

* He was not only a great poet, but a great philosopher.
** [[Samuel Taylor Coleridge]], ''Notes and Lectures Upon Shakespeare'', Vol. I (1849), p. 85.

* The true description of us is the complex, ever-changing pattern of interactions of billions of them [neurons]... The abbreviated and approximate shorthand that we employ every day to describe human behavior is a smudged caricature of our true selves. &quot;What a piece of work is a man!&quot; said Shakespeare. Had he been living today he might have given us the poetry we so sorely need to celebrate all these remarkable discoveries.
** [[Francis Crick]], ''The Astonishing Hypothesis: The Scientific Search for the Soul'' (1994)

* I have tried lately to read Shakespeare, and found it so intolerably dull that it nauseated me.
** [[Charles Darwin]], ''The Life and Letters of Charles Darwin'', Vol. I (1860), as quoted in ''Webster's New World Dictionary of Quotations'' (2005), p. 253.

* 'I'm always ill after Shakespeare,' said Mrs Wititterly. 'I scarcely exist the next day; I find the reaction so very great after a tragedy, my lord, and Shakespeare is such a delicious creature.'
** [[Charles Dickens]], ''[[Nicholas Nickleby]]'' (1838–1839), Ch. 27.

* '''But Shakespear's [[Magic|Magick]] could not copy'd be,&lt;br&gt;Within that [[Circle]] none durst walk but he.'''
** [[John Dryden]], ''The Tempest'' (1667), Prologue.

* To begin then with Shakespeare; he was the man who of all Modern, and perhaps Ancient Poets, had the largest and most comprehensive soul. All the Images of Nature were still present to him, and he drew them not laboriously, but luckily: when he describes any thing, you more than see it, you feel it too. Those who accuse him to have wanted learning, give him the greater commendation: he was naturally learn'd; he needed not the spectacles of Books to read Nature; he look'd inwards, and found her there. I cannot say he is every where alike; were he so, I should do him injury to compare him with the greatest of Mankind. He is many times flat, insipid; his comic wit degenerating into clenches; his serious swelling into Bombast. But he is always great, when some great occasion is presented to him: no man can say he ever had a fit subject for his wit, and did not then raise himself as high above the rest of the poets.
** [[John Dryden]], ''An Essay of Dramatic Poesy'' (1668), &quot;Shakespeare and Ben Jonson Compared&quot;.

* If I would compare him &lt;nowiki&gt;[&lt;/nowiki&gt;[[Ben Jonson|Jonson]]&lt;nowiki&gt;]&lt;/nowiki&gt; with Shakespeare, I must acknowledge him the more correct poet, but Shakespeare the greater wit.
** [[John Dryden]], ''An Essay of Dramatic Poesy'' (1668), &quot;Shakespeare and Ben Jonson Compared&quot;.

* Shakespeare was the [[Homer]], or father of our dramatic poets; [[Ben Jonson|Jonson]] was the [[Virgil]], the pattern of elaborate writing. I admire him, but I love Shakespeare.
** [[John Dryden]], ''An Essay of Dramatic Poesy'' (1668), &quot;Shakespeare and Ben Jonson Compared&quot;.

* I sit with Shakespeare and he winces not. Across the color-line I move arm in arm with Balzac and Dumas, where smiling men and welcoming women glide in gilded halls. From out the caves of the evening that swing between the strong-limbed earth and the tracery of the stars, I summon Aristotle and Aurelius and what soul I will, and they come all graciously with no scorn nor condescension. So, wed with Truth, I dwell above the Veil. Is this the life you grudge us, O knightly America? Is this the life you long to change into the dull red hideousness of Georgia? Are you so afraid lest peering from this high Pisgah, between Philistine and Amalekite, we sight the Promised Land?
** [[W E B Du Bois]], ''The Souls of Black Folk''

* '''[[Dante]] and Shakespeare divide the modern [[world]] between them; there is no third.'''
** [[T. S. Eliot]], &quot;Dante&quot; (1929), from ''Selected Essays'' (1932).

* '''What point of [[morals]], of [[manners]], of [[economy]], of [[philosophy]], of [[religion]], of [[taste]], of the conduct of life, has he not settled? What [[mystery]] has he not signified his [[knowledge]] of?''' What office, or function, or district of man's work, has he not remembered? What king has he not taught state, as [[w:François-Joseph Talma|Talma]] taught [[Napoleon]]? What maiden has not found him finer than her delicacy? What lover has he not outloved? What sage has he not outseen? What gentleman has he not instructed in the rudeness of his behavior?
** [[Ralph Waldo Emerson]], ''Representative Men'' (1850), ''Shakespeare''.

* England's genius filled all measure&lt;br&gt;Of heart and soul, of strength and pleasure,&lt;br&gt;Gave to the mind its emperor,&lt;br&gt;And life was larger than before:&lt;br&gt;'''Nor sequent centuries could hit&lt;br&gt;Orbit and sum of Shakespeare's [[wit]].'''&lt;br&gt;The men who lived with him became&lt;br&gt;Poets, for the air was fame.
** [[Ralph Waldo Emerson]], &quot;Solution,&quot; lines 35–42, ''Poems'' (1918), p. 222. These lines are inscribed above the fireplace in the old reading room of the Folger Shakespeare Library, Washington, D.C.

* The passages of Shakespeare that we most prize were never quoted until within this century.
** [[Ralph Waldo Emerson]], ''Letters and Social Aims'' (1876), ''Quotation and Originality''.

* Ultimately, [[Anthony Burgess]]'s emphasis on the multiplicity of meanings latent in the text of Shakespeare's life foregrounds his own appropriation of Shakespeare … Clearly this is not an inconsistency on Burgess's part but a deliberate pointer at the inevitability of appropriating any given text, particularly that most irresistible one of Shakespeare's life.
** Paul Franssen, on Burgess's use of Shakespeare's &quot;[[w:Shakespeare%27s_sonnets#The_Dark_Lady|Dark Lady]]&quot; of [[the Sonnets]] in ''{{w|Nothing Like the Sun: A Story of Shakespeare's Love Life}}'', in &quot;The Bard, the Bible and the Desert Island&quot; in ''‪The Author as Character : Representing Historical Writers in Western Literature‬'' (1999) edited by Paul Franssen and A. J. Hoenselaars, p. 115.

* Do you know how they are going to decide the Shakespeare-[[Francis Bacon|Bacon]] dispute? They are going to dig up Shakespeare and dig up Bacon; they are going to set their coffins side by side, and they are going to get Tree to recite Hamlet to them. And the one who turns in his coffin will be the author of the play.
** [[W. S. Gilbert]], letter quoted in ''Chambers Dictionary of Quotations'' (1997), p. 426.

* I'm thinking &quot;Great English wordsmith,&quot; my enemies and crew are thinking: &quot;'''Shake…spear!'''&quot;
** &quot;Captain Shakespeare&quot; on the origins of his ''nom de guerre'', in [[Stardust (2007 film)|''Stardust'' (2007)]], screenplay written by {{w|Jane Goldman}} and {{w|Matthew Vaughn}}, based on the novel by [[Neil Gaiman]]

* '''But my [[God]], how beautiful Shakespeare is, who else is as mysterious as he is; his language and method are like a brush trembling with excitement and ecstasy.''' But one must learn to read, just as one must learn to see and learn to live.
** [[Vincent van Gogh]], in a [http://webexhibits.org/vangogh/letter/8/133.htm letter to Theo van Gogh (July 1880) as translated by Mrs. Johanna van Gogh-Bonger]

* '''The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he is really very [[good]] — in spite of all the people who say he is very good.'''
**[[Robert Graves]], in ''The Observer'', &quot;Sayings of the Week&quot;, (6 December 1964).

* Far from the sun and summer-gale,&lt;br&gt; In thy green lap was Nature's Darling laid.
** [[Thomas Gray]], ''The Progress of Poesy'' (1754), lines 83-84.

* For there is an upstart Crow, beautified with our feathers, that with his Tygers hart wrapt in a Players hyde, supposes he is as well able to bombast out a blanke verse as the best of you: and beeing an absolute Johannes fac totum, is in his owne conceit the onely Shake-scene in a countrey.
** [[w:Robert Greene (dramatist)|Robert Greene]], ''Groats-worth of Witte'' (1592)

*Shakespear has in this play shewn himself well versed in history and state-affairs. [[Coriolanus|Coriolanus]] is a store-house of political commonplaces. Any one who studies it may save himself the trouble of reading [[Edmund Burke|Burke]]'s [[Reflections on the Revolution in France|Reflections]], or [[Paine]]'s [[w:Rights of Man|Rights of Man]], or the Debates in both Houses of Parliament since the [[French Revolution]] or our own. The arguments for and against aristocracy or democracy, on the privileges of the few and the claims of the many, on liberty and slavery, power and the abuse of it, peace and war, are here very ably handled, with the spirit of a poet and the acuteness of a philosopher. Shakespear himself seems to have had a leaning to the arbitrary side of the question, perhaps from some feeling of contempt for his own origin; and to have spared no occasion of baiting the rabble. What he says of them is very true: what he says of their betters is also very true, though he dwells less upon it.
**[[William Hazlitt]], ''Characters of Shakespear's Plays'' (1817), pp. 69-70

* This figure that thou here seest put,&lt;br&gt;It was for gentle Shakespeare cut,&lt;br&gt;Wherein the graver had a strife&lt;br&gt;With Nature, to out-do the life:&lt;br&gt;O could he but have drawn his wit&lt;br&gt;As well in brass, as he has hit&lt;br&gt;His face; the print would then surpass&lt;br&gt;All that was ever writ in brass:&lt;br&gt;But since he cannot, reader, look&lt;br&gt;Not on his picture, but his book.
** [[Ben Jonson]], on the Portrait of Shakespeare, from ''Mr William Shakespeare's Comedies, Histories, and Tragedies'' (1623), &quot;To the Reader&quot;, as quoted in ''The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations'' (1999), p. 420.

* Soul of the Age!&lt;br&gt;The applause, delight, the wonder of our stage!&lt;br&gt;My Shakespeare...&lt;br&gt;Thou art a monument, without a tomb,&lt;br&gt;And art alive still while thy book doth live,&lt;br&gt;And we have wits to read, and praise to give.
** [[Ben Jonson]], ''To the Memory of my Beloved, the Author, Mr. William Shakespeare'' (1623)

* '''He was not of an age, but for all time!'''
** [[Ben Jonson]], ''To the Memory of my Beloved, the Author, Mr. William Shakespeare'' (1623)

* I remember the players have often mentioned it as an honor to Shakespeare, that in his writing, whatsoever he penned, he never blotted out a line. My answer hath been, &quot;Would he had blotted a thousand&quot;.
** [[Ben Jonson]], ''Timber: or Discoveries made upon Men and Matter'' (1640)

* There was ever more in him to be praised than to be pardoned.
** [[Ben Jonson]], ''Timber: or Discoveries made upon Men and Matter'' (1640)

* He was honest, and of an open and free nature[, and] had an excellent fantasy, brave notions, and gentle expressions.
** [[Ben Jonson]], ''Timber: or, Discoveries; Made upon Men and Matter'' (1641), p. 98

* He that tries to recommend him by select Quotations, will succeed like the Pedant in Hierocles, who, when he offered his House to Sale, carried a Brick in his Pocket as a Specimen.
** [[Samuel Johnson]], ''The plays of William Shakespeare'', Vol. I (1765), Preface.

* Shakespeare has united the powers of exciting laughter and sorrow not only in one mind but in one composition. Almost all his plays are divided between serious and Ludicrous characters and they sometimes produce sorrow and sometimes laughter. &lt;br&gt; That this is a practice contrary to the rules of criticism will be readily allowed; but there is always an appeal open from criticism to nature.
** [[Samuel Johnson]], ''The plays of William Shakespeare'', Vol. I (1765), Preface.

* Yet it must be at last confessed, that as we owe every thing to him [Shakespeare], he owes something to us; that, if much of his praise is paid by perception and judgment, much is likewise given by custom and veneration. We fix our eyes upon his graces, and turn them from his deformities, and endure in him what we should in another loath or despise.
** [[Samuel Johnson]], ''The plays of William Shakespeare'', Vol. I (1765), Preface.

* I never quite despair and I read Shakspeare — indeed I shall I think never read any other Book much [...] I am very near Agreeing with [[William Hazlitt|Hazlit]] that Shakspeare is enough for us.
** [[John Keats]], in a letter to Benjamin Robert Haydon (11 May 1817).

* He has left nothing to say about nothing or any thing.
** [[John Keats]], in a letter to John Hamilton Reynolds  (22 November 1817).

* At once it struck me, what quality went to form a Man of Achievement especially in Literature &amp; which Shakespeare possessed so enormously — I mean ''[[w:Negative capability|Negative Capability]]'', that is when man is capable of being in uncertainties, Mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact &amp; reason.
** [[John Keats]], in a letter to George and Tom Keats ([21/27?] December 1817).

* '''Shakespeare led a life of Allegory; his works are the comments on it.'''
** [[John Keats]], in a letter to George and Georgiana Keats (19 February 1819)

*The sense of place has to do with everything. One of the mottos that has given me a lot of help and inspiration is remembering that somewhere I think it's in The Tempest-Shakespeare said that one of the goals of the writer and the artist is to give to airy nothing local habitation and a name. The Tempest is a play about a place, about finding a Brave New World. And it's about human beings maybe getting another chance again and going off to an island where they could figure out what it means to start community, or find out what it is to love. So, that phrase-to give to airy nothing local habitation and a name. I've decided that what that means is that abstract ideas and values are nothing. They're invisible, they're not dramatic, and they're not interesting unless you can localize them, can give them physical manifestation, can write about an actual place. You have to ground your ideas. We have to embody ideas in our characters and act them out in life. Ideas about altruism or a vision about a Brave New World. In art, what I think he's saying is to write about an actual place, write flesh-and-blood people, give them all ideas and standards. And then see whether they can take the test of a physical place, see whether their ideas hold up as they try to live in real life.
**1989 interview in ''Conversations with [[Maxine Hong Kingston]]'' (1998)

*[[England]] must be true to herself: that is the burden of Shakespeare's unsentimental [[patriotism]].
**[[w:G. Wilson Knight|G. Wilson Knight]], 'Saint George for England', ''The Olive and The Sword: A Study of England's Shakespeare'' (1944), p. 14

*Such evil is often in Shakespeare felt as inhuman and bestial; it is—or should be—un-English; and the central symbolism to which Shakespeare's English warriors regularly appeal before battle is [[w:Saint George|Saint George]], the dragon-vanquisher. In ''Henry VI'' Talbot in a speech of national daring boasts he will celebrate Saint George's feast in France, and in the civil warfare of the second and third parts both sides cry on God and Saint George before battle.
**[[w:G. Wilson Knight|G. Wilson Knight]], 'Saint George for England', ''The Olive and The Sword: A Study of England's Shakespeare'' (1944), pp. 18-19

*Shakespeare, after a long line of outwardly non-historical plays, plays not obviously concerned with England's destiny at all, yet each...closely concerned with the deepest and darkest issues raised by consideration of that destiny in his earlier work, after all this, Shakespeare writes, as his last play, ''Henry VIII''. His bark has come to harbour. He returns to a national theme, set nearer his own day than any previous attempt, and deeply loads it with orthodox [[Christianity|Christian]] feeling. Here the extravagances and profundities of the great sequence come, at last, to rest.
**[[w:G. Wilson Knight|G. Wilson Knight]], 'Crack of Doom', ''The Olive and The Sword: A Study of England's Shakespeare'' (1944), p. 68

*Shakespeare, at the youth of Great Britain's imperial history, is necessarily fascinated by the accomplished [[imperialism]] of [[Roman Empire|ancient Rome]]. He feels England now as inheriting the great destiny of Rome... You can feel Shakespeare's sense of Rome's supremacy beside the new strength of Britain; which strength, however, must pay due honour to that Roman greatness which is its prototype. The meaning is clearer if we return to the Soothsayer's vision: he saw the [[w:Aquila (Roman)|Roman eagle]] as dissolving into the sunbeams of Britain.
**[[w:G. Wilson Knight|G. Wilson Knight]], 'Maiden Phoenix', ''The Olive and The Sword: A Study of England's Shakespeare'' (1944), pp. 71, 75

*Shakespeare is steadily preparing a synthesis of religious mysticism with national purpose; and this synthesis is not actually accomplished in the King himself, but rather in the royal child, [[Elizabeth I of England|Elizabeth]]... [T]he massive play [''Henry VIII''] ends with the christening ceremony of the baby Elizabeth, over whom [[Thomas Cranmer|Cranmer]] speaks the final prophecy, Shakespeare's last word to the England he loved... Every tragic insight, every penetrating sting of satire, every deepest religious intuition, orthodox or otherwise, of the greater plays, every lyric love of England's natural sweetness, is subdued within this last, almost ritualistic, offering by Shakespeare of himself and his deepest poetic wisdom to Elizabeth and her successor [[James I of England|James I]]... [S]urely here, if never elsewhere, we can feel that this prophecy is offered...to the essential sovereignty, the golden thread in England's story, that line of kings in ''Macbeth'' stretching out &quot;to the crack of doom&quot;, handed down from his day to ours. ''Macbeth'' was recalled, and Cranmer's lines forecast, by the &quot;emblems&quot; used at Anne Bullen's coronation: [[w:Holy anointing oil|holy oil]], [[w:Edward the Confessor|Edward the Confessor]]'s [[w:St Edward's Crown|crown]], the rod and the &quot;bird of peace&quot;... The conclusion to ''Henry VIII'' is no mere record of an historic past, but rather the one comprehensive statement in our literature of that peace towards which the world labours and for which Great Britain fights.
**[[w:G. Wilson Knight|G. Wilson Knight]], 'Maiden Phoenix', ''The Olive and The Sword: A Study of England's Shakespeare'' (1944), pp. 83, 85

*Shakespeare has throughout sounded, as has no other great poet or dramatist on record, the note of royalty. His is a royal world. Shakespeare's royalistic thinking is, for the most part, patriotic, and his work from time to time spreads its wings in national prophecy. Royalty and England tend to involve each other, and these in turn involve strenuous themes of war and peace, order and disorder, conflicts of personal ambition and communal necessity, contrasts of tyranny and justice, the whole stamped by the [[w:Chivalry|chivalric]] symbol of [[w:Saint George|Saint George]] and aspiring to Christian sanctions. This Shakespearian royalty, conceived in the reign of [[Elizabeth I of England|Elizabeth I]], is not dead; it has lived since, within the story of Great Britain, and it is alive today, in the reign of [[Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom|Elizabeth II]].
**[[w:G. Wilson Knight|G. Wilson Knight]], 'The Shakespearian Royalty', ''The Sovereign Flower: On Shakespeare as the Poet of Royalism together with related essays and indexes to earlier volumes'' (1958), p. 13

*Shakespeare's drama, with its fanfares and ceremonial, abounds in kingly ritual; and his people speak, move, act royally. Villains or heroes, it is no matter; it all lies deeper than ethic. We have for long talked of the Crown as the link binding an [[British Empire|empire]] of free communities: that is true, and it is a great conception, herald and pattern, it may be, of a yet greater. 
**[[w:G. Wilson Knight|G. Wilson Knight]], 'The Golden Thread', ''The Sovereign Flower: On Shakespeare as the Poet of Royalism together with related essays and indexes to earlier volumes'' (1958), p. 91

*We have watched kings falling in country after country, and it is likely that the works of Shakespeare have themselves done much to preserve our own intuition and understanding of royalty.
**[[w:G. Wilson Knight|G. Wilson Knight]], 'A Royal Propaganda', ''The Sovereign Flower: On Shakespeare as the Poet of Royalism together with related essays and indexes to earlier volumes'' (1958), p. 274

*Always in Shakespeare royalty aspires to be a [[Christianity|Christian]] power; it is, or symbolizes, [[Jesus|Christ]] ''in'' power.
**[[w:G. Wilson Knight|G. Wilson Knight]], 'A Royal Propaganda', ''The Sovereign Flower: On Shakespeare as the Poet of Royalism together with related essays and indexes to earlier volumes'' (1958), p. 278

* '''Shakespeare is not our poet, but the world's''';&lt;br&gt;Therefore on him no speech!
** [[Walter Savage Landor]], &quot;To Robert Browning,&quot; published in ''The Morning Chronicle'' (22 November 1845); reprinted in ''The Works of Walter Savage Landor'' (1846), vol. II.

* When I read Shakespeare I am struck with wonder&lt;br&gt;That such trivial people should muse and thunder&lt;br&gt;In such lovely language.
** [[D. H. Lawrence]], &quot;When I read Shakespeare,&quot; from ''Pansies'' (1929).

* Some of Shakspeare's plays I have never read; while others I have gone over perhaps as frequently as any unprofessional reader. Among the latter are [[King Lear|Lear]], [[Richard III (play)|Richard Third]], [[Henry VIII (play)|Henry Eighth]], [[Hamlet]], and especially [[Macbeth]]. I think nothing equals Macbeth. It is wonderful. Unlike you gentlemen of the profession, I think the soliloquy in Hamlet commencing &quot;O, my offence is rank surpasses that commencing &quot;To be, or not to be.&quot; But pardon this small attempt at criticism.
** [[Abraham Lincoln]], in a letter to [[w:James Henry Hackett|James Henry Hackett]] (17 August 1863).

* This vision comes to me when I unfold&lt;br&gt;The volume of the Poet paramount,&lt;br&gt;Whom all the muses loved, not one alone;—&lt;br&gt;Into his hands they put the lyre of gold,&lt;br&gt;And, crowned with sacred laurel at their fount,&lt;br&gt;Placed him as Musagetes on their throne.
** [[Henry Wadsworth Longfellow]], &quot;Shakespeare,&quot; from ''The Masque of Pandora and Other Poems'' (1875).

*I spoke of women teaching women's literature courses who said that they could not teach Black women's poetry because it was so totally outside of their experience. That's bullshit because you teach Shakespeare and, God knows, that's outside of your experience. But you have to have learned to enter the work. You must delve into it and see what it tells you about yourself.
**1978 interview in ''Conversations with [[Audre Lorde]]'' (2004)

* '''On this planet the reputation of Shakespeare is secure.''' When life is discovered elsewhere in the universe and some interplanetary traveler brings to this new world the fruits of our terrestrial culture, who can imagine anything but that among the first books carried to the curious strangers will be a Bible and the works of WIlliam Shakespeare.
** Louis Marder, in ''His Exits and his Entrances : The Story of Shakespeare's Reputation'' (1963), p. 362.

* Dolt &amp; ass that I am I have lived more than 29 years, &amp; until a few days ago, never made close acquaintance with the divine William. Ah, he's full of sermons-on-the-mount, and gentle, aye, almost as Jesus. I take such men to be inspired. I fancy that this moment Shakspeare in heaven ranks with Gabriel, Raphael and Michael. And if another Messiah ever comes twill be in Shakespeare's person.
**[[Herman Melville]], Letter to Evert Augustus Duyckinck (24 February 1849); published in The Letters of Herman Melville (1960) edited by Merrell R. Davis and William H. Gilman, p. 77.

* And so sepulchr'd, in such pomp dost lie, &lt;br&gt; That kings for such a tomb would wish to die.
** [[John Milton]], &quot;On Shakespeare&quot; (1630).

*For some reason, I really enjoyed the histories and tragedies of Shakespeare not the comedies. Today, I marvel at the fact that we never questioned Shakespeare's deification of the ruling class, or his marginalization of the masses either as gullible crowds or as jesters. We had enough intelligence to do so, but we were, ideologically, under the captivity of colonial educational propaganda.
**[[Micere Githae Mugo]]  in ''Talking with African Writers'' by Jane Wilkinson

*Of all English literature I was exposed to, Shakespeare's tragedies moved most. I could recite soliloquies by Macbeth, Hamlet, Portia, Shylock, King Lear, Cordelia with great feeling. I think it was the music of the lines, the sound of the words, that excited me.
**1996 interview in ''Conversations with [[Bharati Mukherjee]]'' Edited by Bradley C. Edwards (2009)

* '''The verbal poetical texture of Shakespeare is the greatest the world has known, and is immensely superior to the structure of his plays as plays.'''
**[[Vladimir Nabokov]], quoted in interview with Alfred Appel, Jr. (September 1966), printed in ''Wisconsin Studies in Contemporary Literature 8'' (1967); republished in Nabokov's ''Strong Opinions'' (1973).

*Were Shakespeare around to write a play about our times, perhaps his opening line to the Plutocracy would be &quot;Get thee to the Oligarchy. Blend yourselves together and thou shalt rule invincible forever after.&quot;
**[[Ralph Nader]], ''Breaking Through Power'' (2016)

* The best thing I could say in honour of Shakespeare, the man, is that he believed in [[Brutus]] and cast not a shadow of suspicion on the kind of virtue which Brutus represents! It is to him that Shakespeare consecrated his best tragedy—it is at present still called by a wrong name,—to him and to the most terrible essence of lofty [[morality]]. Independence of soul!—that is the question at issue! No sacrifice can be too great there: one must be able to sacrifice to it even one's dearest friend, though he be also the grandest of men, the ornament of the world, the genius without peer,—if one really loves freedom as the freedom of great souls, and if this freedom be threatened by him:—it is thus that Shakespeare must have felt! The elevation in which he places [[Julius Caesar|Cæsar]] is the most exquisite honour he could confer upon Brutus; it is thus only that he lifts into vastness the inner problem of his hero, and similarly the strength of soul which could cut this knot!—And was it actually political freedom that impelled the poet to sympathy with Brutus,—and made him the accomplice of Brutus? Or was political freedom merely a symbol for something inexpressible? Do we perhaps stand before some sombre event or adventure of the poet's own soul, which has remained unknown, and of which he only cared to speak symbolically? What is all [[Hamlet]]-melancholy in comparison with the melancholy of Brutus!—and perhaps Shakespeare also knew this, as he knew the other, by experience! Perhaps he also had his dark hour and his bad angel, just as Brutus had them!—But whatever similarities and secret relationships of that kind there may have been, Shakespeare cast himself on the ground and felt unworthy and alien in presence of the aspect and virtue of Brutus:—he has inscribed the testimony thereof in the tragedy itself. He has twice brought in a poet in it, and twice heaped upon him such an impatient and extreme contempt, that it sounds like a cry,—like the cry of self-contempt. Brutus, even Brutus loses patience when the poet appears, self-important, pathetic, and obtrusive, as poets usually are,—persons who seem to abound in the possibilities of greatness, even moral greatness, and nevertheless rarely attain even to ordinary uprightness in the philosophy of practice and of life. &quot;He may know the times, but I know his temper,—away with the jigging fool!&quot;—shouts Brutus. We may translate this back into the soul of the poet that composed it.
** [[Friedrich Nietzsche]], &quot;The Gay Science&quot; (1883), Book Two

* When we speak of the aim and [[Art]] observable in Shakespeare's works, we must not forget that Art belongs to [[Nature]]; that it is, so to speak, self-viewing, self-imitating, self-fashioning Nature. '''The Art of a well-developed [[genius]] is far different from the Artfulness of the [[Understanding]], of the merely reasoning mind.''' Shakspeare was no calculator, no learned thinker; he was a mighty, many-gifted [[soul]], whose feelings and works, like products of Nature, bear the stamp of the same [[spirit]]; and in which the last and deepest of observers will still find new harmonies with the infinite structure of the [[Universe]]; concurrences with later ideas, affinities with the higher powers and senses of man. '''They are emblematic, have many meanings, are simple and inexhaustible, like products of Nature; and nothing more unsuitable could be said of them than that they are works of Art, in that narrow mechanical acceptation of the word.'''
** [[Novalis]], as quoted in &quot;Novalis&quot; (1829) by [[Thomas Carlyle]]

* '''Shakespeare — the nearest thing in incarnation to the eye of God. '''
** [[Laurence Olivier]], quoted in Kenneth Harris, &quot;Sir Laurence Olivier,&quot; from ''Kenneth Harris Talking To...'' (1971).

* EDMUND ''(sits down opposite his father - contemptuously)''. Yes, facts don't mean a thing, do they? What you want to believe, that's the only truth! ''(Derisively.)'' Shakespeare was an Irish Catholic, for example. &lt;br&gt; TYRONE ''(stubbornly)''. So he was. The proof is in his plays.
** [[Eugene O'Neill]], ''Long Day's Journey Into Night'' (1956), Act IV.

* Children are made to learn bits of Shakespeare by heart, with the result that ever after they associate him with pedantic boredom. If they could meet him in the flesh, full of jollity and ale, they would be astonished, and if they had never heard of him before they might be led by his jollity to see what he had written. But if at school they had been inoculated against him, they will never be able to enjoy him. [...] Shakespeare did not write with a view to boring school-children; he wrote with a view to delighting his audiences. If he does not give you delight, you had better ignore him.
** [[Bertrand Russell]], ''New Hopes for a Changing World'' (1951), p. 201.

* Shakespearean language is a bizarre super-tongue, alien and plastic, twisting, turning, and forever escaping. It is untranslatable, since it knocks Anglo-Saxon root words against Norman and Greco-Roman importations sweetly or harshly, kicking us up and down rhetorical levels with witty abruptness. No one in real life ever spoke like Shakespeare's characters. His language does not &quot;make sense,&quot; especially in the greatest plays. Anywhere from a third to a half of every Shakespearean play, I conservatively estimate, will always remain under an interpretive cloud. Unfortunately, this fact is obscured by the encrustations of footnotes in modern texts, which imply to the poor cowed student that if only he knew what the savants do, all would be as clear as day. Every time I open Hamlet, I am stunned by its hostile virtuosity, its elusiveness and impenetrability. Shakespeare uses language to darken. He suspends the traditional compass points of rhetoric, still quite firm in [[w:Christopher Marlowe|Marlowe]], normally regarded as Shakespeare's main influence. Shakespeare's words have &quot;aura.&quot; This he got from [[w:Edmund Spenser|Spenser]], not Marlowe.
** {{w|Camille Paglia}}, ''Sexual Personae: Art and Decadence from Nefertiti to Emily Dickinson'', p. 195.

* Who can measure the worth of a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo or Beethoven in dollars and cents?
** [[Lucy Parsons]], ''The Principles of Anarchism''

* I sent for some dinner and there dined, Mrs. Margaret Pen being by, to whom I had spoke to go along with us to a play this afternoon, and then to the King's Theatre, where we saw 'Midsummer's Night's Dream', which I had never seen before, nor shall ever again, for it is the most insipid ridiculous play that ever I saw in my life.
** [[Samuel Pepys]], diary for 29 September 1662.

* He is not so much an imitator, as an instrument, of nature; and 'tis not so just to say that he speaks from her as that she speaks through him.
** [[Alexander Pope]], ''Preface to the Works of Shakespeare'' (1725)

* had all the speeches been printed without the very names of the persons, I believe one might have applied them with certainty to every speaker.
** [[Alexander Pope]], ''Preface to the Works of Shakespeare'' (1725). Compare [[Joseph Addison|Addison]] on Homer: &quot;there is scarce a speech or action in the Iliad, which the reader may not ascribe to the person who speaks or acts, without seeing his name at the head of it.&quot; in ''[[w:The Spectator (1711)|The Spectator]]'', No. 273 (12 January 1711–12).

* 'tis plain he had much reading at least, if they will not call it learning. Nor is it any great matter, if a man has knowledge, whether he has it from one language or from another.
** [[Alexander Pope]], ''Preface to the Works of Shakespeare'' (1725)

* '''The shape of the Globe gives words power, but you're the wordsmith! The one true genius; the only one clever enough to do it. … Trust yourself.''' When you're locked away in your room, the words just come, don't they, like magic. '''Words, the right sound, the right shape, the right rhythm, words that last forever.''' That's what you do, Will. You choose perfect words. Do it. Improvise!
** [[w:Gareth Roberts (writer)|Gareth Roberts]], [[Tenth Doctor|The tenth incarnation of The Doctor]] in {{w|The Shakespeare Code}} episode of ''[[Doctor Who]]''

* He seems to have been sent essentially to take universal and equal grasp of the human nature; and to have been removed, therefore, from all influences which could in the least warp or bias his thoughts. '''It was necessary that he should lean no way; that he should contemplate, with absolute equality of judgment, the life of the court, cloister, and tavern, and be able to sympathize so completely with all creatures as to deprive himself, together with his personal identity, even of his conscience, as he casts himself into their hearts. '''He must be able to enter into the soul of Falstaff or Shylock with no more sense of contempt or horror than Falstaff or Shylock themselves feel for or in themselves; otherwise his own conscience and indignation would make him unjust to them; he would turn aside from something, miss some good, or overlook some essential palliation. He must be utterly without anger, utterly without purpose; for if a man has any serious purpose in life, that which runs counter to it, or is foreign to it, will be looked at frowningly or carelessly by him. Shakespere was forbidden of Heaven to have any plans. To do any good or get any good, in the common sense of good, was not to be within his permitted range of work. Not, for him, the founding of institutions, the preaching of doctrines, or the repression of abuses. Neither he, nor the sun, did on any morning that they rose together, receive charge from their Maker concerning such things. They were both of them to shine on the evil and good; both to behold unoffendedly all that was upon the earth, to burn unappalled upon the spears of kings, and undisdaining, upon the reeds of the river.
** [[John Ruskin]], ''Modern Painters'', Volume. IV (1856)

* The English stage might be considered equally without rule and without model when Shakspeare arose. The effect of the genius of an individual upon the taste of a nation is mighty; but that genius, in its turn, is formed according to the opinions prevalent at the period when it comes into existence. Such was the case with Shakspeare. Had he received an education more extensive, and possessed a taste refined by the classical models, it is probable that he also, in admiration of the ancient Drama, might have mistaken the form for the essence, and subscribed to those rules which had produced such masterpieces of art. Fortunately for the full exertion of a genius, as comprehensive and versatile, as intense and powerful, Shakspeare had no access to any models of which the commanding merit might have controlled and limited his own exertions. '''He followed the path which a nameless crowd of obscure writers had trodden before him; but he moved in it with the grace and majestic step of a being of a superior order; and vindicated for ever the British theatre from a pedantic restriction to classical rule. Nothing went before Shakspeare which in any respect was fit to fix and stamp the character of a national Drama'''; and certainly no one will succeed him, capable of establishing, by mere authority, a form more restricted than that which Shakspeare used.
** [[Walter Scott]], ''An Essay on the Drama'' (1819)

* As divinest Shakespeare's might&lt;br&gt;Fills Avon and the world with light,&lt;br&gt;Like omniscient power, which he&lt;br&gt;Imaged 'mid mortality.
** [[Percy Bysshe Shelley]], &quot;Lines Written among the Euganean Hills,&quot; (1818), from ''The Poetical Works of Percy Bysshe Shelley'' (1839).

*We not only open the classics to re-create the past; we also use them to calibrate the present. Look at Shakespeare. I dream of doing a Restless Shakespeare; in fact, the name of this series is already a mission statement. There is arguably no more reprinted author in the English language. Do we need another Hamlet, Romeo and Juliet, King Lear, and The Tempest? No doubt we do. He is a kaleidoscope that fluctuates depending on who is looking through it. There is the Elizabethan Shakespeare, the Victorian, the modern, the postmodern, the postcolonial, and so on. And there is also a restless Shakespeare, capable of conveying the perspective of a world always in transit and reorganized at all times—and at all costs—by outsiders. That’s the Shakespeare I’m after, one that lives in English but becomes an emblem of a world without a center.
**[[Ilan Stavans]] [https://www.worldliteraturetoday.org/blog/interviews/reimagining-classics-conversation-publisher-ilan-stavans-jenna-tang Interview] (2021)

* The two main Pillars of our Civilization,&lt;br /&gt;[[Jesus]] and Shakespeare said:&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Nothing shall be impossible to Humans&quot; (Jesus)&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Impossibility is only seemingly impossible&quot; (Shak.)
** B. B. Stoller, ''[[Biologizing the Universe]]'' (1983)

* [[Aeschylus|Æschylus]] is above all things the poet of righteousness. &quot;But in any wise, I say unto thee, revere thou the altar of righteousness&quot;: this is the crowning admonition of his doctrine, as its crowning prospect is the reconciliation or atonement of the principle of retribution with the principle of redemption, of the powers of the mystery of darkness with the coeternal forces of the spirit of wisdom, of the lord of inspiration and of light. '''The doctrine of Shakespeare, where it is not vaguer, is darker in its implication of injustice, in its acceptance of accident, than the impression of the doctrine of Æschylus.''' Fate, irreversible and inscrutable, is the only force of which we feel the impact, of which we trace the sign, in the upshot of [[Othello]] or [[King Lear]]. The last step into the darkness remained to be taken by &quot;the most tragic&quot; of all English poets. With Shakespeare — and assuredly not with Æschylus — righteousness itself seems subject and subordinate to the masterdom of fate: but fate itself, in the tragic world of [[John Webster|Webster]], seems merely the servant or the synonym of chance.
** [[Algernon Charles Swinburne]] in ''The Age of Shakespeare'' (1908).

* Why Shakespeare lends itself so well to film is because he wrote movies.
** Julie Taymore, director of ''[[w:Titus (film)|Titus]]'', in interview with Columbia Film School students

*'''[[Knowledge|Knowing]] the ''theory'' of anything is contrasted with ''know-how'' in all the arts...Beethoven..Michelangelo..Shakespeare, all great exponents of ''know-how,'' probably knew how to manipulate their instruments to achieve the desired results long before they knew the theory of their art.''' Perhaps some of them never bothered to learn the theory. On the other hand, there are many who know the theory better than these, but who lack ''know-how''....Although we acquire the skill of understanding words by experience, so that we know the correlations between them and things, between words and other words, and between words and feelings and actions, we do not do it by inductive reasoning. Nor must we think that we do it by deductive reasoning... In the main, words are ''cues'' rather than ''clues''.
** [[Colin Murray Turbayne]], ''The Myth of Metaphor'' (1962) [https://catalog.hathitrust.org/Search/Home?type%5B%5D=author&amp;lookfor%5B%5D=Colin%20Murray%20Turbayne&amp;page=1&amp;pagesize=100&amp;ft=ft] pp. 90-91.

* Shakespeare is a savage with sparks of genius which shine in a horrible night.
** [[Voltaire]], quoted in ''The Academy and literature'', Vol. 56 (1899), p. 676

*The poet of England, he gave to the love of country, to patriotism as nowadays we call it, a voice which never shall be stilled. His histories are, and will ever be, the epic of our race. 
**[[w:Charles Whibley|Charles Whibley]], ''Political Portraits'' (1917), p. 30

===''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations''===
:&lt;small&gt;Quotes reported in ''[[Wikisource:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922)|Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations]]'' (1922), p. 700-02.&lt;/small&gt;

* This Booke&lt;br&gt;When Brasse and Marble fade, shall make thee looke&lt;br&gt;Fresh to all Ages.
** Commendatory Verses prefixed to the folio of Shakespeare (1623).

* This was Shakespeare's form;&lt;br&gt;Who walked in every path of human life,&lt;br&gt;Felt every passion; and to all mankind&lt;br&gt;Doth now, will ever, that experience yield&lt;br&gt;Which his own genius only could acquire.
** [[Mark Akenside]], ''Inscription'', IV.

* Others abide our question. Thou art free.&lt;br&gt;We ask and ask—Thou smilest and art still,&lt;br&gt;Out-topping knowledge.
** [[Matthew Arnold]], ''Shakespeare''.

* Renowned Spenser, lie a thought more nigh&lt;br&gt;To learned Chaucer, and rare Beaumont lie&lt;br&gt;A little nearer Spenser, to make room&lt;br&gt;For Shakespeare in your threefold, fourfold tomb.
** [[William Basse]], ''On Shakespeare''.

* &quot;With this same key&lt;br&gt;Shakespeare unlocked his heart,&quot; once more!&lt;br&gt;Did Shakespeare? If so, the less Shakespeare he!
** [[Robert Browning]], ''House''&lt;!-- (1876)--&gt;, X.

* If I say that Shakespeare is the greatest of intellects, I have said all concerning him. But there is more in Shakespeare's intellect than we have yet seen. It is what I call an unconscious intellect; there is more virtue in it than he himself is aware of.
** [[Thomas Carlyle]], ''Essays'', ''Characteristics of Shakespeare''.

* Voltaire and Shakespeare! He was all&lt;br&gt; The other feigned to be.&lt;br&gt;The flippant Frenchman speaks: I weep;&lt;br&gt; And Shakespeare weeps with me.
** [[Matthias Claudius]], ''A Comparison''.

* When great poets sing,&lt;br&gt;Into the night new constellations spring,&lt;br&gt;With music in the air that dulls the craft&lt;br&gt;Of rhetoric. So when Shakespeare sang or laughed&lt;br&gt;The world with long, sweet Alpine echoes thrilled&lt;br&gt;Voiceless to scholars' tongues no muse had filled&lt;br&gt;With melody divine.
** [[C. P. Cranch]], ''Shakespeare''.

* Now you who rhyme, and I who rhyme,&lt;br&gt;Have not we sworn it, many a time,&lt;br&gt;That we no more our verse would scrawl,&lt;br&gt;For Shakespeare he had said it all!
** [[R. W. Gilder]], ''The Modern Rhymer''.

* If we wish to know the force of human genius we should read Shakespeare. If we wish to see the insignificance of human learning we may study his commentators.
** [[William Hazlitt]], ''Table Talk'', ''On the Ignorance of the Learned''.

* Mellifluous Shakespeare, whose enchanting Quill&lt;br&gt;Commandeth Mirth or Passion, was but Will.
** [[Thomas Heywood]], ''Hierarchie of the Blessed Angels''.

* The stream of Time, which is continually washing the dissoluble fabrics of other poets, passes without injury by the adamant of Shakspere.
** [[Samuel Johnson]], ''Preface to Works of Shakspere''.

* I remember, the players have often mentioned it as an honour to Shakespeare, that in his writing (whatsoever he penned) he never blotted out a line. My answer hath been, would he had blotted a thousand.
** [[Ben Jonson]], ''Discoveries'', ''De Shakespeare nostrat''.

* Then to the well-trod stage anon&lt;br&gt;If Jonson's learned sock be on,&lt;br&gt;Or sweetest Shakespeare, Fancy's child,&lt;br&gt;Warble his native woodnotes wild.
** [[John Milton]], ''L'Allegro'', line 131.

* What needs my Shakespeare for his honored bones&lt;br&gt;The labors of an age in piled stones?&lt;br&gt;Or that his hallowed reliques should be hid&lt;br&gt;Under a starre-y-pointing pyramid?&lt;br&gt;Dear son of Memory, great heir of fame,&lt;br&gt;What need'st thou such weak witness of thy name?&lt;br&gt;Thou in our wonder and astonishment&lt;br&gt;Hath built thyself a livelong monument.
** [[John Milton]], ''An Epitaph''&lt;!--&quot;On Shakespeare&quot; (1630)--&gt;. Similar phrases in the entire epitaph are found in the epitaph on Sir Thomas Stanley, supposed to have been written by Shakespeare. Also, same ideas found in Crashaw.

* Shakspeare (whom you and every playhouse bill&lt;br&gt;Style the divine! the matchless! what you will),&lt;br&gt;For '''gain, not glory, wing'd his roving flight''',&lt;br&gt;And grew immortal in his own despite.
** [[Alexander Pope]], ''Imitations of Horace'', Epistle I, Book II, line 69.

* Few of the university pen plaies well, they smell too much of that writer Ovid and that writer Metamorphosis and talk too much of Proserpina and Jupiter. Why, here's our fellow Shakespeare puts them all down. Aye, and Ben Jonson too. O that B. J. is a pestilent fellow, he brought up Horace giving the poets a pill, but our fellow, Shakespeare, hath given him a purge that made him beray his credit.
** ''The Return from Parnassus''; or, ''The Scourge of Simony'', Act IV, scene 3.

* Shikspur, Shikspur! Who wrote it?&lt;br&gt;No, I never read Shikspur.&lt;br&gt;Then you have an immense pleasure to come.
** [[James Townley]] ''High Life Below Stairs'', Act II, scene 1 (Ed. 1759).

* Scorn not the Sonnet. Critic, you have frowned,&lt;br&gt;Mindless of its just honours; with this key&lt;br&gt;Shakespeare unlocked his heart.
** [[William Wordsworth]], ''Scorn not the Sonnet''.

=== Psalm 46 rumours ===
*&lt;p&gt;'''God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.'''&lt;!-- 12 --&gt;&lt;br&gt;Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; &lt;!--  34 --&gt;&lt;br&gt;Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains '''shake''' &lt;!-- 46th word from start --&gt;  with the swelling thereof.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt; &lt;!-- Selah --&gt; There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.&lt;br&gt;God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.&lt;br&gt;The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.&lt;br&gt;The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt; &lt;!-- Selah --&gt; Come, behold the works of the LORD, what desolations he hath made in the earth.&lt;br&gt;He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the '''spear''' in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.&lt;br&gt;Be still, and know that '''I am''' God: I '''will''' be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.&lt;br&gt;The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. &lt;!-- Selah --&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
** The 46th Psalm in the [[w:Authorized King James Version|King James Version of ''The Holy Bible'']], which is sometimes cited as evidence that Shakespeare was involved in helping to refine this translation, and in his 46th year of life, hid his name within this version of the psalm, the 46th word from the start being &quot;shake&quot; and the 46th word from the end being '''spear''', (not counting the commonly repeated instruction &quot;{{w|Selah}}&quot; as word of the psalm). This observation seems to have originated in ''[[w: Shakespeare (Anthony Burgess)| Shakespeare]]'' (1970) by [[Anthony Burgess]], and later used in his story &quot;Will and Testament&quot; in ''{{w|Enderby's Dark Lady, or No End to Enderby}}'' (1984). Some have also noted peculiar numerical coincidences in the 10th line as well — which could produce &quot;I William&quot; — or '''I am Will.''' Others note that previous translations had used such words with similar placement as well.

* The occasionally expressed popular belief that Shakespeare must have helped prepare the translation of the Bible completed for King James in 1610 is based solely on the circumstances that a few famous passages from the translation and from Shakespeare's tragedies are the only specimens of Jacobian English most people ever hear. '''[[Rudyard Kipling]], however, composed a whimsical short story, ''Proofs of Holy Writ'', in which one of the translators consults Shakespeare and [[Ben Jonson|Jonson]], and in 1970, [[Anthony Burgess]] pointed out that in the King James Bible the 46th word of the 46th psalm, translated in Shakespeare's 46th year, is &quot;shake&quot;, while the 46th word from the end (if one cheats by leaving out the last cadential word &quot;{{w|selah}}&quot;, is &quot;spear&quot;.'''
** Michael Dobson, in ''The Oxford Companion to Shakespeare'' (2001) edited by Michael Dobson and Stanley W. Wells; further observations regarding these associations are discussed in:
::* [http://web.archive.org/web/20031024011151/http://members.cox.net/davidrytell/Shake.htm &quot;Did William Shakespeare hide a message in the King James translation of the Bible?&quot; by Gabriel Roth]
::* [http://www.pleacher.com/mp/mfacts/psalm46.html &quot;Shakespeare and the 46th Psalm&quot; by David Pleacher]
::* [http://www.apologeticspress.org/apcontent.aspx?category=13&amp;article=925 &quot;Did Shakespeare Slip His Name in Psalm 46?&quot; by Kyle Butt]
::* [http://av1611.com/kjbp/ridiculous-kjv-bible-corrections/psalm-46-Shakespeare-in-KJV.html &quot;Ridiculous KJV Bible Corrections: Psalm 46, Shakespeare in the KJV?&quot; by John Hinton]

* '''Over the past two centuries, there has hardly been an author, certainly in the English-speaking world, who has commanded greater reverence than Shakespeare.''' … There is only one text in the English language that carries comparable prestige to the works of Shakespeare: the Bible, in particular in its most renowned version, the King James Bible, otherwise known as the Authorized Version, of 1611. … In view of the persistent juxtaposition of these two Anglophone cultural icons … it is hardly surprising that they also feature together in a number of fictions of Shakespeare's life, in the form of the fantasy of the Bard as co-translator of the Authorized Version. '''The originator of this motif seems to have been [[Rudyard Kipling]].''' In his story &quot;Proofs of Holy Writ,&quot; Kipling imagines Shakespeare in the process of revising parts of the Authorized Version with the help of [[Ben Jonson]].
** Paul Franssen, on Kipling, in his 1934 short story, as the probable originator of the idea that Shakespeare had worked on the King James version of the Bible, in &quot;The Bard, the Bible and the Desert Island&quot; in ''‪The Author as Character : Representing Historical Writers in Western Literature‬'' (1999) edited by Paul Franssen and A. J. Hoenselaars, p. 106.

* [[Anthony Burgess|Burgess]]'s Shakespeare is not a patient empire builder or visionary, but rather an unhappy man caught in an unenviable position, at the midlife crisis age of forty-six. … '''Burgess's point may well be that literary quality is not always recognized during one's lifetime …  due to an ill-advised display of his wit in the presence of the king, Shakespeare is currently out of favor.''' … Particularly ingenious in Burgess's story is the way Shakepeare even hides his name in the text of the psalm. As he is forty-six years of age, he chooses Psalm 46; he counts to the forty-sixth word, replaces it by &quot;shake&quot;' then he starts at the end, counts forty-six words backwards (leaving out of the account the cadential &quot;''{{w|selah}}''&quot;), and changes that word into &quot;speare.&quot; '''The surprising thing is, that the evidence shoring up this highly unlikely scenario is in itself authentic''': in Psalm 46 AV, the forty-sixth word really is &quot;shake&quot;, the forty-sixth word from the end (not counting &quot;''selah''&quot;) being spear.&lt;br&gt;Although Burgess's Shakespeare revises the psalm for wholly selfish ends, out of defiance and sinful pride, he does not thereby lose our sympathy. Unlike Kiping's self-confident sahib, he is not a superman that can lead nations; rather, in his everyday struggle with political realities, an unhappy marriage, and uncomprehending neighbors, he is a modern antihero whom we cannot begrudge his one moment of triumph. … '''For Burgess, art is the result of suffering between the hammer of what is and the anvil of what should be. He projects that vision on Shakespeare, whose drive for self-realization, impeded by his surroundings, finds an outlet in this act of creativity.'''
** Paul Franssen, on the use Shakespeare by [[Anthony Burgess]] in &quot;Will and Testament&quot; in ''{{w|Enderby's Dark Lady, or No End to Enderby}}'' (1984) in &quot;The Bard, the Bible and the Desert Island&quot; in ''‪The Author as Character : Representing Historical Writers in Western Literature‬'' (1999) edited by Paul Franssen and A. J. Hoenselaars, p. 111.

* To me, Shakespeare lives if we keep performing his plays. He dies, when we stop performing them.
** Dr. [[Temple Grandin]], &lt;ref&gt; https://www.iidc.indiana.edu/pages/Genius-May-Be-an-Abnormality-Educating-Students-with-Aspergers-Syndrome-or-High-Functioning-Autism &lt;/ref&gt;

==See also==
=== More works of Shakespeare on Wikiquote ===
:&lt;small&gt;''Separate pages exist for quotations from all of the following works:''&lt;/small&gt;
&lt;!-- Except for perhaps at most a very few famous quotes, quotes from these works should be on their separate pages--&gt;

* ''[[All's Well That Ends Well]]''
* ''[[Antony and Cleopatra]]''
* ''[[As You Like It]]''
* ''[[The Comedy of Errors]]''
* ''[[Coriolanus]]''
* ''[[Cymbeline]]''
* ''[[Hamlet]]''
* ''[[Henry IV, Part 1]]''
* ''[[Henry IV, Part 2]]''
* ''[[Henry V (play)|Henry V]]''
* ''[[Henry VI, Part 1]]''
* ''[[Henry VI, Part 2]]''
* ''[[Henry VI, Part 3]]''
* ''[[Henry VIII (play)|Henry VIII]]''
* ''[[Julius Caesar (play)|Julius Caesar]]''
* ''[[King John]]''
* ''[[King Lear]]''
* ''[[Love's Labour's Lost]]''
* ''[[Macbeth]]''
* ''[[Measure for Measure]]''
* ''[[The Merchant of Venice]]''
* ''[[The Merry Wives of Windsor]]''
* ''[[A Midsummer Night's Dream]]''
* ''[[Much Ado About Nothing]]''
* ''[[Othello]]''
* ''[[Pericles, Prince of Tyre]]''
* ''[[Richard II (play)|Richard II]]''
* ''[[Richard III (play)|Richard III]]''
* ''[[Romeo and Juliet]]''
* ''[[The Sonnets]]''
* ''[[The Taming of the Shrew]]''
* ''[[The Tempest]]''
* ''[[Timon of Athens]]''
* ''[[Titus Andronicus]]''
* ''[[Troilus and Cressida]]''
* ''[[Twelfth Night]]''
* ''[[The Two Gentlemen of Verona]]''
* ''[[The Two Noble Kinsmen]]''
* ''[[Venus and Adonis (Shakespeare poem)|Venus and Adonis]]''
* ''[[The Winter's Tale]]''

===Quotes by Shakespeare===
* [[Last Words in Shakespeare]]
* [[William Shakespeare quotes about death]]
* [[William Shakespeare quotes about life]]
* [[William Shakespeare quotes about love]]
* [[William Shakespeare quotes about war]]

===Quotes about Shakespeare===
* [[Ben Jonson#To the Memory of My Beloved, the Author, Mr. William Shakespeare (1618)|Ben Jonson, ''To the Memory of My Beloved, the Author, Mr. William Shakespeare'' (1618)]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Wikisource author}}
{{commonscat}}

* [http://digital.lib.muohio.edu/shakespeare/ William Shakespeare - Digital Collection]
* [http://theshakespeareproject.com/ William Shakespeare -- Annotated Plays]
* [http://ise.uvic.ca/ The Internet Shakespeare Editions]
* [http://www.openshakespeare.org/ Open Shakespeare (complete works, search engine, stats and more all as open content/open source)]
* [http://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/dol/images/examples/pdfs/shakespeare.pdf Shakespeare's Will at the National Archives (UK)]
* [http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&amp;GRid=1450 William Shakespeare at Find a Grave]
* [[b:William Shakespeare's Works|Study Guide:Shakespeare]] at Wikibooks
* {{w|List of archaic English words and their modern equivalents}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Shakespeare, William}}
[[Category:Shakespeare]]
[[Category:1564 births]] 
[[Category:1616 deaths]]
[[Category:Playwrights from England]]
[[Category:Poets from England]]
[[Category:Actors from England]]
[[Category:Poets from the United Kingdom]]
{{Authority control|PND=118613723|LCCN=n/78/95332|VIAF=96994048}}

&lt;!-- interlang links --&gt;
                                                 

{{Authority control}}</text>
      <sha1>grgxr64unrv6mf9267feh2soxgvmm8k</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Angelina Ballerina: The Next Steps</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>127919</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944021</id>
      <parentid>3941513</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T19:35:41Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944021</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="53485" sha1="m7jkby2hgqbmc1cx0axixlf0gauoa0w" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Angelina Ballerina: The Next Steps|Angelina Ballerina: The Next Steps]]''''' is a musical [[w:Computer-generated imagery|CGI]] [[w:Animated series|animated television series]] that premiered on September 5, 2009 on [[w:PBS Kids|PBS Kids]] in the United States. It is a continuation of the ''[[Angelina Ballerina (TV series)|Angelina Ballerina]]'' television series from 2001–2006; both series are in turn based on the ''[[w:Angelina Ballerina|Angelina Ballerina]]'' series of [[w:children's books|children's books]] by [[w:Katharine Holabird|Katharine Holabird]], the author and [[w:Helen Craig|Helen Craig]], the illustrator.

==Series 1 (Sept. 5, 2009-Nov. 7, 2009)==
===Angelina's New Home / Angelina's New School [1.1]===

===Angelina's New Ballet Teacher / Angelina's Dance Partner [1.2]===
:''[In Ms. Mimi's class]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': Now wiggle your nose.
:''[Ms. Mimi and the class in the classical music dance while bending down to their toes wiggle their noses. Ms. Mimi goes first bending down to her toes and wiggling her nose]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Angelina finishes the phone call with Alice and hangs up the receiver.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[mutters]'' I cannot believe my terrible luck! Alice has the sniffles! And now, I do not have a partner! What am I going to do?! 
:''[After Angelina gets off the phone with Alice and finds out that she --Alice-- has the sniffles, Angelina's doorbell rings.]''
:'''Viki''': ''[from the door]'' Angelina?
:''[Angelina sees Viki at the door and opens it. Viki hands the music player back to Angelina. And she --Vicki-- says to Angelina...!]''
:'''Viki''': Here is your music player back. 
:''[Then Viki tells Angelina the sad news about Gracie.]''
:'''Viki''': Guess what happened? 
:'''Angelina''': ''[disappointedly]'' What?
:'''Viki''': Gracie, she cannot be in the showcase. She has the sniffles.
:''[Now both of the girls --from Ms. Mimi's class-- Alice and Gracie have the sniffles. Viki got home from Gracie's house. And Gracie told Vicki that she --Gracie-- got the sniffles.]'' 
:'''Angelina''': Poor Gracie! And Alice has them too! 
:'''Viki''': Poor Alice! Well? See you later. I guess.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[The scene cuts from Angelina's room --where Angelina was making a broom into a dancing doll and impersonating it to look like Alice-- to the lunchtime theater at Camembert Academy. In this scene, Vicki tells Ms. Mimi that her dance partner Gracie has the sniffles, and so does --Angelina's partner-- Alice.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[to Viki]'' Oh Viki...! I am sorry that Gracie has the sniffles. (That is, and so does Alice.) 
:''[Ms. Mimi hugs Viki in comfort. The scene cuts to Angelina with her dancing doll and sets her on one of the lunch tables. Marco comes up to Angelina with the clipboard. Then he --Marco-- says to Angelina...!]''
:'''Marco''': (to Angelina) Ms. Mimi said to tell you that you and your partner are going to dance in the showcase.
:''[Marco sees the &quot;dancing doll&quot; which Angelina created.]''
:'''Marco''': Wow! That is your partner? 
:'''Angelina''': Yes. 
:'''Marco''': But she is not real.
:'''Angelina''': Yes, she is. She is a real dancing doll. 
:''[After Angelina says this, Marco looks at the rules.]''
:'''Marco''': ''[to Angelina]'' The rules do not say, &quot;No dancing dolls&quot;. 
:'''Angelina''': Good. 
:'''Marco''': But it does not say they are okay either. I am not sure about this Angelina. 
:''[The scene cuts to Ms. Mimi now talking to Angelina.]''
:'''Angelina''': Ms. Mimi? I really wish I could dance in the showcase.
:'''Ms. Mimi''': You really want to be in the showcase. Do you?
:'''Angelina''': ''[crying]'' Yes. I really do.
:''[Tears run down Angelina's cheeks after she --Angelina-- says this.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': And are you willing to work hard?
:'''Angelina''': ''[in between tears]'' Mm-hmmm.
:''[Angelina --after saying this-- resumes crying.]'' 
:'''Ms. Mimi''': Then I will give you some extra time to come up with a routine. And instead of dancing first, you and your partner may dance last today.

===Angelina's Gift for Ms. Mimi / Angelina's Oldest Friend [1.3]===
:''[After the gift, decorations, and birthday cake got ruined.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[sadly]'' No gift, no decorations, and no cake! Not a very good birthday party!
:''[Angelina sniffles. The scene cuts to where Angelina, Viki, Gracie, and Marco are staring at the ruined birthday cake that Marco just made. Now they end up with no gift, no decorations, and no cake/treats/baked goods to share]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[sadly]'' We can't have a birthday party without a cake!
:''[Angelina, the girls and Marco know that they're too late to make or buy a new cake. Because there's no time to make nor buy a new one. They also have no decorations nor present either. The party for Ms. Mimi turns out to be ruined. However, before they give up, Polly hatches a plan. Polly runs to Angelina, Marco, Viki, and Gracie. And she whips out her untouched and uneaten leftover muffin from her bag.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[to Angelina, the other two girls, and Marco]'' We can (always) use my muffin as a cake.
:''[Polly knows she always has back-ups with plans if she has any whenever something goes wrong.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[takes the muffin from Polly as she has suggested to celebrate with Polly's &quot;treats&quot;]'' Thanks Polly. 
:''[So therefore, Polly's &quot;treats&quot; are served. The kids are set to have Polly's treats which are the muffins that she, Angelina, and their mom had made. The &quot;birthday treat&quot; is Polly's treats instead of cake. That is, which is a spare muffin.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Gracie''': Here's your card. 
:''[Gracie hands Ms. Mimi her birthday card.]''
:'''Viki''': We drew it ourselves.
:''[Polly sets out Ms. Mimi's birthday &quot;cupcake&quot;, which is actually a muffin with a birthday candles.]''
:'''Polly''': And here is your cake. 
:''[But Polly notes that it's really a muffin and looks at it half sadly.]'' 
:'''Polly''': Well, sort of.
:''[The mouselings and Ms. Mimi have Polly's treats; muffins instead of cake. However, Polly did say it was &quot;sort of&quot; like a cake/cupcakes.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[As the kids --Angelina, Gracie, Vicki, and Marco-- are playing their birthday song. Polly --on the other hand-- snuggles on to Ms. Mimi's lap. Ms. Mimi gently scoops up Polly and gently sits her --Polly-- down on her lap. She holds Polly close and hugs her --Polly-- on the belly and waist. Then she says...!]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': To be very good, all a gift needs is to have lots of love in it. 
:''[Polly hands Ms. Mimi the muffin with the birthday candle on it. Ms. Mimi --even though the real birthday cake was ruined-- does like muffins too.]'' 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[The others --Gracie, Vicki, and Marco-- have heard the word &quot;crickets&quot; from Alice. That is, since Alice was going to read the &quot;pretend class&quot; --Gracie, Vicki, and Marco--  the story &quot;Goldi-Mouse and the Three Crickets&quot;. Then --after the trio heard the word &quot;crickets&quot;-- they perform the chant &quot;The Camembert Cheer&quot;.]''
:'''Gracie, Vicki, and Marco''': ''[chanting]'' ''Pirouette left, pirouette right!''
:'''Alice''': Now what are they doing?
:'''Angelina''': The Camembert Cheer!
:'''Gracie, Vicki, and Marco''': ''[chanting]'' ''Tap your toes with all your might!''
:'''Alice''': That's not fair! I was going to read my story!
:'''Angelina''': I know. But..!
:''[Gracie, Vicki, and Marco are trying to do the &quot;Camembert Cheer&quot; which was taught by Ms. Mimi on them even though they should know that it is Alice's turn.]''
:'''Gracie, Vicki, and Marco''': ''[still chanting]'' ''Crouch like a cricket, then ready, steady, hop!''
:''Camembert kids never--''
:''[But before they can say the last word of their chant --The Camembert Cheer-- which is &quot;Camembert kids never stop!&quot;, Alice --who gets to the last straw-- screams out a big, long, &quot;STOP&quot;. She says it with her head shaking violently.]''
:'''Alice''': &lt;big&gt;'''STOPPPPP!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[The others --Vicki, Gracie, and Marco-- stop chanting.]''
:'''Alice''': &lt;big&gt;'''IT'S...! MY...! TURN!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;

===Angelina and the Hip Hop Kid / Angelina and the Broken Fiddle [1.4]===

===Angelina and Alice's Big Night / Angelina and the Giant [1.5]===

===Angelina's Musical Day / Angelina's Crazy Solo [1.6]===
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': And what role are you, Angelina?
:'''Angelina''': I'm the bird, mom. I'm playing the flute.
:'''Polly''': What kind of fruit? I love bananas, but they don't do any sound.
:'''Angelina''': Not fruit, Polly, a flute.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Polly''': And don't play the fruit ''instead'' of a flute.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': Is Gracie okay?
:'''Marco''': She's ''quackers.''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina, Gracie, Marco, and Viki''': Good morning, Ms. Mimi!
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[points at her throat]''
:'''Viki''': She's trying to say something.
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[writes in her notebook]''
:'''Angelina''': It says she lost her voice.
:'''Gracie''': If Ms. Mimi lost her voice...
:'''Marco''': Oh no.
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[gestures that she doesn't know]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': ''[about Ms. Mimi calling everyone with music]'' It's gonna go on all morning.

===Angelina and the Irish Jig / Angelina En Pointe [1.7]===
:'''Gracie''': Sorry, Angelina, I did my best to stop her.
:'''Viki''': Stop me?
:'''Gracie''': No.
:'''Viki''': I was right all along. There is something going on, and I was coming here to say sorry to you. ''[cries]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': Viki, I'm really sorry for what I did to your music.
:'''Viki''': Then why are you always whispering about me and making silly secret plans?
:'''Angelina''': Because I wanted to make a surprise Irish party for you to say a really big sorry.
:'''Viki''': So that's what all the whispering and planning was about?
:'''Angelina''': Uh-huh.
:'''Viki''': Well, I'm sorry now.

=== Angelina and the Rock Band / Angelina's Lost Ice Skates [1.8] ===
:'''Angelina''': ''[after waking up]'' Polly, am I dreaming or is the ice skate show really today?
:'''Polly''': It's ''really'', ''really'', ''really'' today!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': How do I look?
:'''Alice''': Perfect. How about me?
:'''Polly''': Double perfect.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Hang on a minute, girls. Now you have a busy day ahead of you. You ''need'' to keep track of your time and your things.
:'''Angelina''': Don't worry, mom. We'll be the responsible mouselings of all in Mouse Land.
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Do you have everything you need?
:'''Angelina''': Not at all.
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': How about these?
:''[Polly reveals the lunch bags and Angelina gets them]''
:'''Angelina''': Oops.
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Ahem. ''And'' these?
:''[She reveals the ice skates and Alice gets them]''
:'''Alice''': ''Double'' oops.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': ''[after seeing her and Alice's lunches being gobbled by birds]'' Sorry, I didn't know birds really like jam sandwiches.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': Oh no, oh no, on no!
:'''Alice''': Oh what?

===Angelina and the New Music Store / Angelina and Ms. Mimi [1.9]===
:''[As Angelina still raps --from the drum-- Ms. Mimi --as Angelina keeps going-- gets upset.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': Angelina...? &lt;big&gt;'''ANGELINA...?!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Angelina pauses and Ms. Mimi's shadow hovers over her.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': &lt;big&gt;'''COME AND SEE ME AFTER SCHOOL PLEASE!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[As Ms. Mimi says this, Angelina knows that she is in big trouble.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[The scene --after the lunchtime theater where Marco, Gracie, and Vicki were-- then cuts to Ms. Mimi's classroom. Angelina has to stay after school and she's in the classroom. That afternoon --after school-- Ms. Mimi has asked Angelina to stay after school for after school detention because Angelina was talking in class. Ms. Mimi is disciplining Angelina. In other words: &quot;The scene cuts to where Ms. Mimi is issuing Angelina with her after school detention&quot;. Angelina is seen in Ms. Mimi's classroom. She was making noises like the drum after being asked for quiet. So it cuts to where Angelina is in after school detention. She --sitting on a time-out chair-- is facing Ms. Mimi in front of her desk. Before assigning Angelina after school detention after school, Ms. Mimi talks to Angelina.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[to Angelina]'' So, when I asked for quiet, Angelina...! 
:''[Ms. Mimi then expects answers from Angelina.]'' 
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ...I really do expect to get it! I am surprised!
:'''Angelina''': ''[apologizing to Ms. Mimi for talking in class]'' I am sorry, Ms. Mimi. 
:''[It is true that Angelina has apologized for her unruly behavior in class. And she does promise it will never happen again. But even though Angelina apologizes --for her unruly behavior which was talking and Ms. Mimi asked for quiet but she did not listen-- she knows that sometimes an apology/promise does not cut it. Her behavior was still not okay. Really, she's still in trouble. Because in reality, if one apologizes and/or makes a promise --which is a promise to not do it again-- sometimes it does not allow them to get away with being punished. Sometimes it doesn't and therefore, they still have to pay the consequence. There are appropriate/common/natural/local consequences for actions. That means they --one and in this case Angelina too-- must be accountable for their actions. In this case --like for Angelina who talked in class-- she has to pay the consequence. She is ordered to stay after school and see Ms. Mimi to do after school detention. Possibly for a whole week and no drum day on said day. So --as a result-- Angelina is --in fact-- still in trouble. She still did something in class that she was not supposed to do. It was on purpose. Not only on purpose, but also a big no-no. So her &quot;apology&quot; does not work and she's still considered a wrongdoer --according to Ms. Mimi-- and must be punished or disciplined. Additionally, she --by extension-- is also held responsible for talking and disrupting in class. Although her after school detention was not seen, she still was assigned it by Ms. Mimi for being disruptive even though Ms. Mimi asked for quiet. Now Angelina has it for a whole week and she gets no drum day the next day or in other words, &quot;not this year&quot;. From this point, Angelina's &quot;after school detention week&quot; with Ms. Mimi --after school-- starts, and starting today. So until her &quot;after school detention week&quot; is over, there is no drum day nor any after school activities for Angelina. Because she is in after school detention with Ms. Mimi. We may be sorry, and we may make an apology/promise. But we are still considered a wrongdoer. An apology/promise alone does not erase the action you --and in this case Angelina-- did. In the meantime, Angelina is in trouble, she gets a week of after school detention, and she gets no drum day this year. Her turn for the drums --on drum day-- is dismissed.]''

===Angelina and Super Polly / Angelina's Dance Like a Cake Day [1.10]===

==Series 2 (Nov. 14, 2009-Jan. 16, 2010)==
===Angelina's Sleepover / Angelina's Noisy, Messy Lunchtime [2.1]===
:''[Angelina tries to talk her mom into letting her and Gracie and Vicki have a sleepover. Mrs. Mouseling is playing cards with Polly]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[asks her mother about a sleepover]'' Please, can Gracie and Viki sleep over? Please? Please?
:''[Mrs. Mouseling is playing cards with Polly. Then she turns to Angelina]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[to Angelina]'' Oh, Angelina? 
:''[Mrs. Mouseling tries to warn Angelina that a sleepover might not be a good idea. That is, as she asks...!]'' 
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Are you sure that a sleepover is a great idea?
:'''Angelina''': Why not?
:''[Mrs. Mouseling says to Angelina why a sleepover might not be a good idea. That is, as she says...!]'' 
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[to Angelina]'' Well, for one thing, they must not even be called &quot;sleepovers&quot;. Because no one ever sleeps.
:''[Indeed, that is true. True to Mrs. Mouseling's reason, if Angelina does have a sleepover, it must not be called a &quot;sleepover&quot;. Because no one sleeps.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[The scene cuts to daytime. When morning comes, Mrs. Mouseling turns on the light in the attic and wakes up Angelina, Vicki, and Gracie. She says a big, long &quot;RISE AND SHINE!&quot; in a singy-songy tone. Her &quot;Rise and shine!&quot; command in a singy-songy tone to the girls echoes through the attic window.]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[sing-songy]'' &lt;big&gt;'''♪ RISE AND SHINE (GIRLS)! ♪'''&lt;/big&gt; 
:''[The girls are too tired since they were up all night.]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Oh dear. You girls must have been up very, very late.
:'''Angelina''': Look, I think we broke lamp.
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Luckily the lamp isn't broken. But you did break your promise. 
:'''Angelina''': I did break my promise. And I am really, truly, sorry.
:''[The scene then cuts to Angelina's school. Angelina, Gracie, and Vicki get back to school and end up extremely tired since the night before]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[narrating]'' I am not just sorry...! &lt;big&gt;'''BUT ALSO SO SLEEPY!'''&lt;/big&gt; Things are not looking very good. 
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[about the girls being late for class]'' You girls are late.
:'''Angelina, Gracie and Vicki''': Sorry, Ms. Mimi.
:'''Ms. Mimi''': I hope you have learned your double pirouettes, Angelina.
:''[To practice for the performance, which is the next day, Ms. Mimi plays the song on the radio.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Ms. Mimi''': The only dance you can do on this state, it is &quot;[[w: Sleeping Beauty|Sleeping Beauty]]&quot;. So, I am going to have to ask you three to go home and go straight to bed. 
:''[Then she talks to the girls about a make-up rehearsal. That is, after she tells them that &quot;[[w: Sleeping Beauty|Sleeping Beauty]]&quot; is the only dance that they can do in this stage. From her --Ms. Mimi's--  previous quote, she says, &quot;The only dance that you can do in this stage is [[w: Sleeping Beauty|Sleeping Beauty]]&quot;. Then she --Ms. Mimi-- next says...!]'' 
:'''Ms. Mimi''': Then we have a make-up rehearsal later this afternoon.
:''[Gracie mentions that she and Angelina and Viki have the fair. That is, the Silly Hat Carnival. And she knows that she and the others may have to miss it since they are going to do an afternoon rehearsal for a make-up rehearsal.]''
:'''Gracie''': But that is when the carnival starts...!
:'''Ms. Mimi''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Angelina''': Oh no.
:''[After Angelina and Gracie have mentioned the fair since they had made their silly hats the night before, Ms. Mimi starts with the options.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[to Angelina, Gracie and Vicki]'' Well, if you like, you can do the carnival and miss the rehearsal.
:'''Gracie''': ''[smiles]'' We can?
:'''Ms. Mimi''': Yes. 
:''[But Ms. Mimi has another option if the girls go to the fair.]'' 
:'''Ms. Mimi''': But if you miss the rehearsal, then you miss out the performance.
:''[Soon, the girls --Angelina, Gracie, and Viki-- have the choice between the performance or the carnival. If they go to the rehearsal and practice, they get to be in the performance. But if they go to the fair and miss the rehearsal, they are going to have to miss the performance.]''
:'''Angelina''':  Oh no.
:'''Ms. Mimi''': If you have not rehearsed, that would be not fair to the dance, the audience, nor to yourselves. Think about it girls. It's your decision. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[The scene --after Angelina and the other girls Gracie and Vicki make their decision which had been shown at the school-- cuts to Angelina's house.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[is prepared for the fair]'' Woo-hoo! Carnival time!
:''[But Angelina has made a good choice to do the performance and not the carnival. So she tells Polly that she is not doing the fair. Polly still wants to go, but Angelina is not going to the fair.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[still holds her crown]'' I'm not doing the carnival this year, Polly. 
:''[This is the last time that Angelina mentions the fair.]''
:'''Polly''': But, it is the silly hat carnival.
:'''Angelina''': Why don't you wear my hat?
:'''Polly''': ''[as Angelina hands her hat to her]'' Wow! Me? For real?
:''[Polly might be able to wear Angelina's crown which Angelina had made with her friends the night before. She might even wear it to the performance too. That is, even though Angelina was supposed to go to the carnival. But since she and Vicki and Gracie had the choice from Ms. Mimi between doing the performance or the fair, Angelina made the right decision to go to not the carnival but the rehearsal]''
:'''Angelina''': Yes, Polly. It's all yours.
:''[Angelina heads out the door and off to rehearsals. Ms. Mimi did say, &quot;make up rehearsal&quot;]''
:'''Angelina''': Well, I must be going to rehearsals like I promised Ms. Mimi.
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': That's my little girl.
:'''Angelina''': You mean, &quot;Your big girl&quot;. 
:''[Angelina hugs her mom]'' 
:'''Angelina''': Big girls keep promises.  
:''[Angelina leaves the house to the afternoon rehearsal with Ms. Mimi, Gracie, and Vicki. The scene cuts to night time and to Angelina who is now in her bedroom. Angelina --along with Gracie and Vicki-- did do the rehearsal. Now on the night before the performance, Angelina is preparing for bed. She goes to bed early knowing that she has plans for the performance.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[narrating]'' Now it is the night before the performance. So, I have big plans.
:''[Angelina now in her pajamas is seen getting ready for bed and preparing for the performance which is the next day. Mrs. Mouseling and Polly are watching her --happy that Angelina went to bed early.]''
:'''Polly''': Look! Angelina went to bed very, very, early!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': She is going to be one well rested little dancer.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[After the performance is over.]''
:'''Polly''': Mommy?
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Yes, Polly?
:''[Like Angelina, Polly --when she is in school someday-- tries to talk her mother into a sleepover with friends.]''
:'''Polly''': When am I having a sleepover?
:''[True to Polly's question, she asks when she gets to have a sleepover too. And Ms. Mimi, she says...!]'' 
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': (A sleepover...?)
:''[Mrs. Mouseling laughs shortly. Then she sighs and puts her hand over her brow. She facepalms in response after Polly asks when she --herself-- gets to have a sleepover like Angelina. This means she would not want to have Polly doing the same thing that Angelina had. Mrs. Mouseling does this as if she rather not hear the word &quot;overnight&quot; again for a long time. Really, she rather not hear it again for a long time. It is true that Polly is little enough to have a sleepover. But Mrs. Mouseling does not want to allow sleepovers with friends in the house. Because Polly might have the same thing as Angelina. As for the &quot;overnight&quot; subject, Mrs. Mouseling would also mean that the only time Angelina and Polly --from now on and forever after-- can have an &quot;overnight&quot; is if they do it with her --Mrs. Mouseling-- and their father Mr. Mouseling. That is, such as camping and vacations in the summer. But not an overnight with friends.]''

===Angelina's Holiday Treats / Angelina and the Front Row Ticket [2.2]===
:'''Angelina''': ''[sadly]'' I have invited far too many people! Now everyone is cross with me!
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': There must be a solution. Let's think.
:''[Angelina's frown turns into a smile for planning a solution]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[for one solution]'' Maybe we (me, Mom, Alice, and Vicki) could bring Polly in a very big purse...!
:''[The scene cuts to the said theater where &quot;The Nutcracker&quot; where Angelina, her mom Mrs. Mouseling, and her friends --Alice and Vicki-- have a big, giant purse big enough for a mouseling that size to fit inside like Polly. And Polly is inside of it and indeed fits inside the giant purse. So true to what Angelina says, her first idea is Polly in a giant purse. When that does not work, Angelina says...!]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[for a second solution]'' Or Vicki could dress up as a pet canary...!
:''[The next scene shows to where the said theater where Angelina and Alice have Viki in a bird cage and Viki is dressed up as a pet canary]''
:'''Angelina''': The theater, they might not allow pets.
:''[The third scene shows to the said theater where Alice and Viki are dressed up as a conjoined twin or &quot;conjoined sister&quot;]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[for a third solution]'' Or, maybe they could come as a two headed lady!
:''[However, Angelina knows the correct truth of what would happen if she and her friends try one of those three false solutions --Polly in a giant purse, Vicki as a pet canary, or Alice and Vicki dressing up like a two headed lady.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[as the scene cuts back to reality]'' On second thought, none of that may work. Oh dear!
:''[Polly taunts Angelina that she is going to the nutcracker. She dances with the nutcracker doll]''
:'''Polly''': ''[sing songy]'' ♪ &lt;big&gt;'''POLLY'S GOING TO THE NUTCRACKER!'''&lt;/big&gt; ♪
:'''Angelina''': Oh, what can I do?
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': You have a hard solution to make. But I know you may think of something fair.
:'''Angelina''': ''[has a solution]'' Well, there is one thing I can do. But it's a super, super, duper tough thing to do. Really, truly, hard.
:''[The scene cuts to night]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[narrating]'' I did the super tough solution. I gave up my tickets so Polly, Alice, and Vicki could go.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': ''[hands Mrs. Mouseling the tickets]'' You are not going to go very far without these. 
:''[As Mr. Mouseling reveals the tickets to Mrs. Mouseling, it is shown that there is a ticket for Mrs. Mouseling, a ticket for Polly, a ticket for Alice, and a ticket for Vicki. Then Mrs. Mouseling sadly walks over to Angelina, then she takes pity over Angelina, even though Angelina did her best.]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[to Angelina]'' I am sorry, dear. 
:''[Mrs. Mouseling kisses Angelina.]'' 
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Your friends and I really wish that we could buy another ticket.
:'''Angelina''': Me too. 
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': We are proud of you for making a grown up choice.
:'''Angelina''': Thanks, Dad. Are you sure my name is on the waiting list to see &quot;The Nutcracker&quot;?
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': Yes. But we cannot get a hopes up.

===Angelina Keeps the Peace / Angelina and Alice Mousikova [2.3]===

===Angelina and Gracie's Creative Day / Angelina's Big Part [2.4]===

===Angelina and the Tummy Butterflies / Angelina and the Magician [2.5]===

===Angelina Cheerleader / Angelina's Ballet School [2.6]===

===Angelina and the Roquefort's Rhythmic Ghost / Angelina's Lunch Table [2.7]===

===Angelina and the Big News / Angelina's Secret Valentine [2.8]===

===Angelina and the Front Page / Angelina's Cheese Roll [2.9]===

===Angelina and the Musical Plant / Angelina's Hip Hop Boys Show [2.10]===

==Series 3 (Jan. 23, 2010-Apr. 3, 2010)==
===Angelina and the Cheddar Cheese Slide / Angelina and the Case of the Missing Music [3.1]===
:''[Polly drawing a picture --now running out of paper-- asks Mrs. Matilda Mouseling for more paper.]''
:'''Polly''': Mom? Pretty please with cheese...? Can I have some paper?
:'''Mrs. Matilda Mouseling''': In a minute, Polly.

===Angelina, the Pet Sitter / Angelina and the Music Box [3.2]===
:''[Angelina is unsure of whether she broke the music box --after she hid Polly's music box, put it on a pile of boxes, and it dropped-- but she pleads at it to still work.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[to the music box and pleading]'' Please work! Please work! Please work! 
:''[The music box seems to be working again, but then it makes a squealching noise. Polly --when she hears the squealching and distorted noise-- wakes up from the sound of it.]''
:'''Polly''': Huh? What was that loud noise?
:'''A.J''': I was rapping.
:''[A.J makes rapping sounds.]''
:'''Polly''': Waltz time. 
:''[Angelina hands Polly the music box. Polly is unaware that the music box is broken. That is, until she turns on the music box. And the music box makes a distorted music sound.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[gasps]'' &lt;big&gt;'''OH NO! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY MUSIC BOX!?'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Angelina''': It is fine. Try it again. 
:''[Polly turns on the music box again. The music from Polly's music box makes a distorted music sound. Angelina tries to sing the lyrics to the song from the music box to cover up the fact that it's broken. As Polly waltzes, Angelina --trying to cover up the truth about the music box being broken-- sings to it, but she is interrupted by a sneeze. As a result, she sneezes instead.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[sneezing]'' Ah-choo!
:'''Polly''': La, la...! &lt;big&gt;'''AND &quot;ACHOO&quot;?!'''&lt;/big&gt; 
:''[Then she turns to Angelina about Angelina's song even though the music box is really broken.]''  
:'''Polly''': &lt;big&gt;'''THAT'S NOT HOW THE SONG GOES!'''&lt;/big&gt; 
:''[Angelina --still trying to cover up the truth-- continues her song.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[sings two more hums but sneezes again, this time with a big sneeze and it's bigger than her first sneeze]'' &lt;big&gt;'''AH-AH-ACHOO!'''&lt;/big&gt; 
:'''Polly''': ''[about Angelina singing the song]'' &lt;big&gt;'''HEY! YOU ARE SINGING THE SONG!'''&lt;/big&gt; 
:''[Now Polly has noticed that Angelina was trying to cover up the truth that the music box was broken, and Angelina did not even tell her. So Polly does notice that her music box is broken.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[about her music box]'' What is wrong with my music box?
:''[Polly --knowing that Angelina has been hiding something from her since she broke the music box in the first place-- after asking this, she wants an answer.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[pointing to one of the boxes on the high stack of boxes where she tried to hide Polly's music box in]'' It fell off the box and broke.
:'''Polly''': (I know it got broken. But how did it get broken?) How did it get up there?
:''[Angelina --knowing she has to tell Polly the truth-- explains everything and confesses that she broke the music box.]''
:'''Angelina''': Oh...! I am sorry, Polly. I should not have touched it without asking you first.
:''[While Polly was napping, Angelina was really trying to hide Polly's music box. But to hide it, it broke when Angelina put the music box on a high stack of boxes and it fell down to the floor.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[in between tears and before crying]'' Oh no! Now Princess Polly cannot waltz! And I love to waltz! 
:''[Polly lifts up her head and cries.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[crying]'' Waah! 
:'''Angelina''': Don't cry Polly. 
:''[Polly cries and a tear rolls down her cheek.]''
:'''Angelina''': Maybe I can try to fix it.
:''[Well, Polly briefly stops crying after Angelina says this. Angelina, she tries to fix the music box by shaking it. But the wind-up key/wind-up button --attached to the front of the music box and which turns the music on and off-- breaks off and lands on the ground.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[gasps]'' &lt;big&gt;'''YOU MADE IT EVEN MORE BROKENER!'''&lt;/big&gt; 
:''[Polly lifts up her head and resumes crying.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[crying]'' Waah! 
:'''Alice''': ''[to Polly and comforts her]'' I am sure that you can get a new music box, Polly. (Perhaps your mom can help you fix or replace it.) 
:'''Angelina''': ''[to Alice]'' I don't think so. It must be very, very, old. 
:''[Polly cries --jumping from foot to foot-- and says...!]''
:'''Polly''': ''[crying]'' &lt;big&gt;'''I NEED MY MUSIC BOX! I WANT TO WALTZ!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''A.J.''': Wait a minute. You do not need the music box to waltz, Polly.

===Angelina and the Dance-A-Thon / Angelina and the Art Show [3.3]===

===Angelina's Hiccups / Angelina and the Must-Have Ballet Bag [3.4]===

===Angelina's Room / Angelina's Camembert Parade [3.5]===
:'''Angelina''': I heard you playing the harmonica. Do you mind if I come in and listen?
:'''Gracie''': Of course not, Angelina.
:'''Angelina''': I'm sorry I've been such a grouchy mouse.
:'''Gracie''': I'm sorry I ruined your reading. Maybe we could read your book together.
:'''Angelina''': I've got a better idea. Let's do the pirate dance just once before we go to sleep.
:'''Gracie''': Qui.

===Angelina and the Band Leader	/ Angelina and Polly's Two-Hour Show [3.6]===

===Angelina and the Marcel Mouseau Mime Challenge / Angelina and the Dance Craze [3.7]===
:'''Polly''': ''[after hearing from Angelina that Marco cannot speak until 6 o'clock]'' Oh. I don't like it when Marco does not speak.
:''[Polly runs up to Marco.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[in a sneaky little sister smile]'' I am going to make him!
:''[Polly tickles Marco on the tummy. She does it to make Marco speak. So she says...!]''
:'''Polly''': Tickle, tickle, tickle.
:''[Polly tickles Marco on the tummy --this time pinning him to the floor with herself on him-- and says the same thing while tickling him to make him speak. That is, as she says...!]''
:'''Polly''': Tickle, tickle, tickle.
:''[Marco laughs silently because it tickles. Then Angelina laughs and taunts Marco about Polly. That is, as she --Angelina-- says...!]'' 
:'''Angelina''': ''[to Marco]'' Sorry, Marco. I wish I could stop her. But I can't tell you how little sisters are!
:''[Angelina --upon saying this-- she watches in horror. Then with a sneaky smile, she says to Marco she wishes that she could speak for him, but he should know how little sisters are.]''

===Angelina and the Mouselinghood of the Dancing Shoes / Angelina and Her Parent's Dance Lesson [3.8]===

===Angelina and the New Jeans / Angelina and the Poster [3.9]===
:'''Angelina''': ''[she is paired up with not Alice; but Marco]'' But I want to pair with Alice! Alice and I already talked about it!
:'''Ms. Mimi''': Sorry, Angelina. But you and Alice always pair up together. And this time I want you to be with someone else (like Marco). That way you can explore different approaches and styles.
:''[According to Ms. Mimi, Angelina and Alice always pair together. But Ms. Mimi says Angelina should be with someone else so she &quot;explores different approaches and styles&quot;. As a result, Angelina is paired with one of the boys. And it is Marco]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[After wasting one too many sheets of paper for the poster]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[hands Angelina a new sheet of paper for the poster after Angelina has asked for a new one to &quot;start again&quot;, but sadly tells Angelina that it is the last one]'' This is the last one I am afraid, Angelina.
:''[Angelina takes the sheet of paper. The scene cuts to the dance studio.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[to Marco about the last piece of paper]'' Well, I don't know what to do!

===Angelina's Nature Dance / Angelina's Spring Fling [3.10]===
:''[Angelina gets an idea of a nature dance without any little sisters around. Earlier, in the bumblebee dance, Polly --who wanted to be a bumblebee like Angelina and the big girls-- showed up and tried to tag along with Angelina. And she pretended to be a bee.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[to Vicki, Alice, and Gracie]'' I have the most stupendous idea where we can go. 
:''[Angelina and the other girls --Vicki, Alice, and Gracie-- exit down the stairs and off to the park.]'' 
:'''Angelina''': Lots of nature. And no little sisters.
:''[The scene cuts to Polly and Mrs. Mouseling. Polly snuggles onto her mom's lap and cries. Polly is crying because she does not ever get to spend time with Angelina and her friends. Angelina was nasty to her when Polly herself was trying to be a bumblebee with Angelina, Vicki, Alice, and Gracie. Polly was tagging along when Angelina and her friends were doing the bumblebee dance. And she wanted to be a bee with Angelina and the other big girls. Tears roll down Polly's cheeks, and Polly --because she never gets to spend time with Angelina and the big girls-- cries.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[in between tears]'' That's not fair! I wanted to stay and be a bee with all the big girls!
:''[Polly --after saying this-- resumes crying. Mrs. Mouseling comforts Polly. She hugs Polly on her lap after Angelina had made her cry. And Mrs. Mouseling, she says to Polly...!]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[to Polly]'' I know dear. 
:''[Mrs. Mouseling --with Polly on her lap-- hugs Polly.]'' 
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[continues to Polly]'' But you will be a big girl one day.
:''[Polly stops crying. It is not long until Angelina has asked her mom about doing a nature dance at the park.]'' 
:'''Angelina''': Mom? Can we bring a snack?
:'''Gracie''': To take out to the park?
:'''Alice''': We need to get lots of ideas from nature.
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[giggles]'' I do not see why not. 
:''[Polly has just heard about going to the park. Then she asks Angelina if she can come.]''
:'''Polly''': Hooray! 
:''[Polly invites herself over.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[to Angelina]'' May I come?
:''[Angelina thinks sadly and sighs. In a concerned expression, she tries to think whether she should let Polly join her and her friends Alice, Vicki, and Gracie at the park for nature dances. However, she really wants it to not happen because she left out Polly when Polly wanted to be a bumblebee like the big girls. It seems that Angelina is unsure of whether or not Polly should join.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[asks Angelina again]'' Pretty please with cheese?
:''[After Polly's &quot;cry&quot; and complaint about her always being left out on spending time with Angelina and the other big girls, Mrs. Mouseling turns to Angelina. And she says...!]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[tells Angelina to be a good big sister and invite her little sister Polly]'' Please, Angelina. Please be a good big sister now.
:''[Angelina sighs again upon hearing this from Mrs. Mouseling-- to &quot;be a good big sister&quot; and let Polly come. Polly was crying because she never gets to spend time with Angelina and the other big girls. So as a result, after Angelina's mother tells Angelina to be a good big sister on Polly, Polly gets to join. Then the scene cuts to the park. Polly has invited herself along to the park with Angelina and her friends. And what's more, since Mrs. Mouseling told Angelina to &quot;be a good big sister&quot; and let Polly come, Angelina is forced to take Polly along on the collaboration with her friends.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[mimics a bumblebee again]'' Bzz! Bzz! Bzz! Bzz! Bzzzz!
:''[The scene goes to Angelina and Gracie --who are taking a picnic basket with after school snacks inside-- and Angelina turns to Polly and looks at her who is still acting like a bumblebee.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[annoyed and to Polly who is still pretending to be a bee]'' Okay, relax Polly! We are not being bees anymore!
:''[As a result, Angelina thinks it is bad enough that Polly was being a bumblebee when she and the other girls were doing the &quot;[[w:The Flight of the Bumblebee|Flight of the Bumblebee]]&quot; dance for nature dances and has to deal with it. But now, she is forced to take Polly along on the collaboration with her friends for other nature dances --which is to the park-- after Polly invited herself. And she has to deal with that too.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': ''[to her friends]'' &lt;big&gt;'''NO SHE IS NOT! SHE IS JUST SHOWING OFF! SHE IS RUINING EVERYTHING!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Angelina is sick and tired of Polly tagging along and inviting herself.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[to her friends]'' We are never going to have our dance ready! I wish Polly just stayed at home! 
:''[At that, what Angelina means by that is, she wishes that Polly would disappear. Angelina glares at Polly. The scene cuts to the teary-eyed Polly. Polly --hearing this from her nasty big sister-- tearfully looks at Angelina. Then she stands up and runs away crying.]'' 
:'''Polly''': ''[crying]'' (Insert crying sounds here)! 
:''[Vicki calls out after her and --offscreen-- comforts her.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[to Alice and Gracie]'' I am tired of Polly always tagging along all the time! She is always getting in the way!

==Series 4 (Sept. 4, 2010-Nov. 13, 2010)==
===Angelina's Fancy Tutu / Angelina and the Musical Theater [4.1]===

===Angelina and the Heart on Ice / Angelina's Kitchen Band [4.2]===

===Angelina and the Carnival / Angelina Jumps the River [4.3]===

:''[The scene is in Angelina's mind where Polly is having her party. While Angelina is at the carnival with her friends, Polly is having an &quot;unhappy birthday&quot; because Angelina is not at her party. Mrs. Mouseling, she consoles Polly and says...!]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[to Polly]'' What is the matter, Polly? It is your birthday. You should be having fun. 
:'''Polly''': I can't have any fun! 
:''[Mr. Mouseling and Mrs. Mouseling look on at their youngest daughter --who is not having fun at her party since Angelina is not here.]'' 
:'''Polly''': ''[before crying]'' &lt;big&gt;'''THIS IS THE WORST BIRTHDAY EVER!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Polly --after saying this-- she buries her face in her hands and cries.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[crying]'' &lt;big&gt;'''BOO HOO!'''&lt;/big&gt; 
:''[Polly takes her hands off her face and --tearfully-- looks at the viewers in between tears.]'' 
:'''Polly''': ''[in between tears and before resuming crying]'' &lt;big&gt;'''BECAUSE ANGELINA IS NOT HERE!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[The --now-- teary-eyed Polly --after saying this-- she resumes crying. Then she hugs her mother's waist. She is crying because it's her birthday and wishes Angelina was part of it.]''

===Angelina and the Windy Children's Day / Angelina and Ms. Mimi's Dance [4.4]===

:''[At the dance stage.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[in between flashback narration lines]'' &lt;big&gt;'''WHAT A DAY!'''&lt;/big&gt; First that big gust of wind, then Mr. Chirpyface dropped my lunch! The protein bars did not fill me up! And I wasn't able to dance in the dance studio because of the waxed floor! But now, I am not only hungry! I am also really thirsty! 
:''[The scene cuts from the dance stage to Ms. Mimi's story. And back to Ms. Mimi's story, the scene is shown in the classroom. In this scene, Ms. Mimi whips out her water bottle and tries to drink some water. That is, while she is grading and correcting the multiplication quiz packets.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[narrating]'' Luckily, I remembered to pack my water bottle.
:''[But before she can take a drink, her water bottle spills. And there is water all over the multiplication test. So the final straw happens where she --Ms. Mimi-- accidentally spills water --from her water bottle-- on her desk and on the multiplication test.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[sadly --after she had spilled her water]'' Oh dear! 
:''[Ms. Mimi picks up the multiplication quiz.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': &lt;big&gt;'''MY PROBLEMS ARE MULTIPLYING!'''&lt;/big&gt; 
:''[As she says this, she holds out the multiplication quiz. And she acts like the multiplication problems on it are her problems.]'' 
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[narrating]'' I dried off the multiplication test. That is, when I was met with a happy surprise.

===Angelina and the Mini Mouseling / Angelina's Helpful Friend [4.5]===

:''[Alice --as her &quot;unsuccessful character&quot; Baby Bear-- breaks the chair.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[to Alice]'' &lt;big&gt;'''ALICE!?'''&lt;/big&gt; 
:''[Angelina gasps. And she next says...!]'' 
:'''Angelina''': ''[continues]'' Goldi-Mouse, she was supposed to break that chair during the real performance!

===Angelina's Mother's Day / Angelina's Father's Day Surprise [4.6]===
:''[At the dance class on Saturday.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': Repeat after me just the way I am speaking.
:''[Ms. Mimi states a quiet sentence.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[whispers]'' Today, we are going to learn the word &quot;dynamics&quot;.
:'''All''': ''[say the same sentence and they whisper it like Ms. Mimi]'' Today, we are going to learn the word &quot;dynamics&quot;.
:''[Ms. Mimi states a loud sentence.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[says the sentence again but in a loud voice]'' &lt;big&gt;'''TODAY WE ARE GOING TO LEARN THE WORD &quot;DYNAMICS&quot;!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''All''': ''[they say the same sentence again like Ms. Mimi --but repeat it in a loud voice]'' &lt;big&gt;'''TODAY WE ARE GOING TO LEARN THE WORD &quot;DYNAMICS&quot;!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Ms. Mimi''': Good. 
:''[After they repeat the same phrase --but in a loud voice-- Ms. Mimi asks them what they think the difference was between the two sentences.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[then to Angelina, Vicki, Gracie and Marco]'' What is different about those two sentences? 
:''[Angelina raises her hand]'' 
:'''Ms. Mimi''': Yes, Angelina?
:''[Even those two sentences are the same --the same phrase-- Angelina raises her hand. Then --despite the fact the sentence was the same-- she explains what the difference was between the two sentences.]'' 
:'''Angelina''': The first one is soft. The second one is loud.
:'''Ms. Mimi''': Exactly. We changed the dynamics. First the loudness, then the softness.
:''[So the similarity between those two sentences was that they are the same phrase --&quot;Today we are going to learn the word 'dynamics'&quot;. But the difference was, the sentence --said the first time-- was quiet, but the one --said the second time-- was loud. That is how the second sentence is different from the first.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': ''[narrating]'' Right after breakfast, Mom put her feet up. And we got to work.
:''[Mrs. Mouseling is reading a book]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': I am looking forward to a peaceful rest.
:''[Angelina and Polly are singing a song called &quot;[[w: Itsy Bitsy Spider|The Itsy, Bitsy, Spider]]&quot; while putting the books away for their mom]''
:'''Angelina and Polly''': ''[singing]'' ''♪ The itsy, bitsy, spider went up the water spout. ♪''
:''♪ Down came the rain and washed the spider out. ♪''
:''♪ Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. ♪''
:''♪ And the itsy, bitsy spider went up the spout again. ♪''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Polly''': ''[as Angelina looks at the big mess after she and Polly made with the books that they were supposed to put away and made them into a tower]'' What is it, Angelina?
:'''Angelina''': We were going to give Mom a really nice Mother's Day (surprise and present). But we made too much noise...! ''[looks at the mess]'' And a big mess.
:''[Polly adds more books to her pile; then to Angelina after their said song hoping to try to get to have the same song or another song going on again]''
:'''Polly''': Are we going to build some more?
:'''Angelina''': No, Polly. We need to put the books away now. 
:'''Polly''': Okey dokey. ''[sings a non-lexical song; a song being an inanimate one]'' ''♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la! ♪''
:'''Angelina''': And we need to do it quietly. So Mom can relax. 
:'''Polly''': ''[gets loud again]'' &lt;big&gt;'''OKEY DOKEY!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Angelina''': Shhhh! ''[remembers the word her teacher Ms. Mimi had told her about the day before; which was about &quot;dynamics&quot;. Then she tells it to Polly]'' I know. Ms. Mimi, she was talking about dynamics yesterday. Loud music makes you want to jump around. Quiet music always makes you dance very softly. ''[to Polly]'' Polly? Do you want to help me?
:'''Polly''': Yes, please with cheese. 
:'''Angelina''': I want to sing a quiet little song. Can you sing along with me.
:'''Polly''': Mm-hmm. I guess so.
:'''Angelina''': And while we are doing it, we can put the books away.
:'''Polly''': Okay, Angelina.

===Angelina and Polly's Big Day	/ Angelina and the Smelly Cheese [4.7]===
:''[Angelina fears that the stinky Rodentfort Cheese --at the Fere Francaise festival-- it would drive the mouse residents of Chipping Cheddar nuts. And her idea was to tell Mrs. Thimble the truth nicely. To vote for what person to tell Mrs. Thimble the truth about the Rodentford cheese, Angelina plays the [[w: One Potato, Two Potato|Hot Potato]] rhyme with A.Z, Alice, and Gracie and taps on their fists. The fist who stops on whoever's should be the person to tell Mrs. Thimble.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[chanting]'' ''One potato, two potato,''
:''Three potato, four'',
:''Five potato, six potato,''
:''Seven potato, MORE!''
:''[When Angelina says, &quot;...MORE!&quot;, her fist stops on her own. That means Angelina is &quot;it&quot; and the person to tell Mrs. Thimble the truth about the smelly cheese.]''
:'''Angelina''': Oh dear!
:'''Alice''': Good luck, Angelina.

===Angelina's Indian Lunchtime / Angelina, A.Z. and Cheezy Z [4.8]===

===Angelina's Trick or Treat Feat / Angelina and the Laughing Poet [4.9]===

:''[Angelina is trying to get Alice a trick out to get her to be sad in the sad rhyme from the poem. Because Alice's character in the poem is the sad part/sad verse. Meanwhile, the scene cuts to another picnic table at the lunchtime theater. That is, where Gracie and A.Z are sitting in. Gracie sits next to A.Z at lunch in the lunchtime theater. She --Gracie-- looks at A.Z's moldy cheese --in his lunch-- and becomes disgusted about the stinky smell from the moldy cheese. That is, as a stinky scent from the moldy cheese comes out and catches up into Gracie's nose.]''
:'''Gracie''': ''[to A.Z]'' &lt;big&gt;'''P.U! MOLDY CHEESE! KEEP THAT AWAY FROM ME!'''&lt;/big&gt; 
:''[Gracie --after the scent from the stinky and moldy cheese gets into her nose-- smells the stinky and moldy cheese, turns her head away, and pinches up her nose from the moldy cheese's stinky smell.]'' 
:'''Gracie''': ''[stinking her nose]'' &lt;big&gt;'''PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Gracie walks away from the lunch table A.Z is sitting at --pinching up her nose. She gets disgusted because someone would ever have moldy cheese in their lunch.]''
:'''Alice''': Great rhyming, Gracie. But that is still not helping. 
:''[Gracie --stinking up her nose-- tells Alice about the stinky smell coming from the moldy cheese in A.Z's lunchbox. That is, as she says...!]'' 
:'''Gracie''': ''[through a pinched-up nose]'' That wasn't supposed to rhyme! I meant it!

===Angelina and the Dragon Dance / Angelina's Opera [4.10]===

==Film series (2011-12)==
===Angelina Ballerina The Next Steps: The Shining Star Trophy===

===Angelina Ballerina The Next Steps: Dreams Do Come True===
:'''Angelina''': ''[narrating]'' The next day, something happened which made my big dreams very small indeed. 
:''[The scene cuts to Polly and Mrs. Mouseling. Polly is crying because she does not want Angelina moving away to Metroquefort Ballet Companies Junior Ballet School --the said boarding school-- for her big dream. Because then, Angelina is moving to other places so she can travel around the world after boarding school. And starting the first &quot;move-out&quot;, it is boarding school. And beyond that, the &quot;Big Dream&quot; includes boarding school, college, group home after college, marriage, and eventually having own mouselings of Angelina's own. That is, and not just boarding school. Because Angelina is also going to face college, living in a group home after college, marriage, and eventually having children of her own. Angelina is in second grade this year, but in the beginning of September --and after summer-- boarding school --the first move-- starts. And it takes place in Angelina's year of third grade. Camembert Academy is for school age mouselings, starting with kindergarten. But it only is kindergarten to second grade. Angelina --to repeat-- is in second grade this year. But the move --with the first one overall being boarding school-- starts in her year of third grade. In the meantime, the viewers see Polly. She is crying because Angelina is moving away. And --in between tears-- she says...!]''
:'''Polly''': ''[in between tears]'' That is not fair. 
:''[Polly wipes away a tear.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[in between tears]'' I don't want Angelina to move away for her big dream.
:''[Polly resumes crying. Mrs. Mouseling hugs Polly on her lap.]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[comforts Polly]'' I know dear.
:''[The big girls --Angelina, Alice, Gracie, and Vicki-- appear.]'' 
:'''Angelina''': Mom? Can we bring a snack?
:'''Gracie''': To take out to the park?
:''[Angelina sees her little sister Polly crying. And she --Angelina-- asks Polly...!]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[to Polly]'' Polly? What is the matter?
:''[Polly turns to Angelina.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[in between tears --and to Angelina]'' I am sad, Angelina. Because you are moving away. 
:'''Angelina''': I am not leaving until next week, Polly. (Until after summer, I mean.)
:'''Polly''': ''[crying]'' But I already miss you.
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[to Polly]'' Polly? Why don't you go to the park with Angelina?
:''[Mrs. Mouseling lets Polly off her lap so Polly can go to the park.]''
:'''Polly''': Okey dokey.
:''[Polly goes with the other girls to the park.]''
:'''Vicki''': ''[to Angelina]'' Meet you at the park, Angelina.

==Voice cast==
* [[Kylie Minogue]] as Angelina Mouseling
* [[Naomi McDonald]] as Alice Nimbletoes
* [[w:Jules de Jongh|Jules de Jongh]] as Marco Quesillo and Viki
* [[w:Jo Wyatt|Jo Wyatt]] as Gracie
* [[w:James Corden|James Corden]] as AZ
* [[w:Magda Szubanski|Magda Szubanski]] as Ms. Mimi
* [[w:James McAvoy|James McAvoy]] as Mr. Mouseling
* [[Emily Blunt]] as Mrs. Mouseling
* Leah Zabari as Polly Mouseling
* [[w:John Hurt|John Hurt]] as Mitchell Rodentia/Narrator

==See also==
* ''[[Angelina Ballerina (TV series)|Angelina Ballerina]]''

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
[[Category:2000s UK animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s UK animated TV shows]]
[[Category:UK television spin-offs]]
[[Category:Computer-animated TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated musical TV shows]]
[[Category:UK TV shows based on children's books]]
[[Category:UK TV shows with live action and animation]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:PBS Kids shows]]
[[Category:Treehouse TV shows]]
[[Category:Nick Jr. shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about mice and rats]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about children]]
[[Category:Dance]]</text>
      <sha1>m7jkby2hgqbmc1cx0axixlf0gauoa0w</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944022</id>
      <parentid>3944021</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T19:36:46Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* External links */</comment>
      <origin>3944022</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="53540" sha1="b89jg58cjgk3shzc21suslo19w22oay" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Angelina Ballerina: The Next Steps|Angelina Ballerina: The Next Steps]]''''' is a musical [[w:Computer-generated imagery|CGI]] [[w:Animated series|animated television series]] that premiered on September 5, 2009 on [[w:PBS Kids|PBS Kids]] in the United States. It is a continuation of the ''[[Angelina Ballerina (TV series)|Angelina Ballerina]]'' television series from 2001–2006; both series are in turn based on the ''[[w:Angelina Ballerina|Angelina Ballerina]]'' series of [[w:children's books|children's books]] by [[w:Katharine Holabird|Katharine Holabird]], the author and [[w:Helen Craig|Helen Craig]], the illustrator.

==Series 1 (Sept. 5, 2009-Nov. 7, 2009)==
===Angelina's New Home / Angelina's New School [1.1]===

===Angelina's New Ballet Teacher / Angelina's Dance Partner [1.2]===
:''[In Ms. Mimi's class]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': Now wiggle your nose.
:''[Ms. Mimi and the class in the classical music dance while bending down to their toes wiggle their noses. Ms. Mimi goes first bending down to her toes and wiggling her nose]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Angelina finishes the phone call with Alice and hangs up the receiver.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[mutters]'' I cannot believe my terrible luck! Alice has the sniffles! And now, I do not have a partner! What am I going to do?! 
:''[After Angelina gets off the phone with Alice and finds out that she --Alice-- has the sniffles, Angelina's doorbell rings.]''
:'''Viki''': ''[from the door]'' Angelina?
:''[Angelina sees Viki at the door and opens it. Viki hands the music player back to Angelina. And she --Vicki-- says to Angelina...!]''
:'''Viki''': Here is your music player back. 
:''[Then Viki tells Angelina the sad news about Gracie.]''
:'''Viki''': Guess what happened? 
:'''Angelina''': ''[disappointedly]'' What?
:'''Viki''': Gracie, she cannot be in the showcase. She has the sniffles.
:''[Now both of the girls --from Ms. Mimi's class-- Alice and Gracie have the sniffles. Viki got home from Gracie's house. And Gracie told Vicki that she --Gracie-- got the sniffles.]'' 
:'''Angelina''': Poor Gracie! And Alice has them too! 
:'''Viki''': Poor Alice! Well? See you later. I guess.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[The scene cuts from Angelina's room --where Angelina was making a broom into a dancing doll and impersonating it to look like Alice-- to the lunchtime theater at Camembert Academy. In this scene, Vicki tells Ms. Mimi that her dance partner Gracie has the sniffles, and so does --Angelina's partner-- Alice.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[to Viki]'' Oh Viki...! I am sorry that Gracie has the sniffles. (That is, and so does Alice.) 
:''[Ms. Mimi hugs Viki in comfort. The scene cuts to Angelina with her dancing doll and sets her on one of the lunch tables. Marco comes up to Angelina with the clipboard. Then he --Marco-- says to Angelina...!]''
:'''Marco''': (to Angelina) Ms. Mimi said to tell you that you and your partner are going to dance in the showcase.
:''[Marco sees the &quot;dancing doll&quot; which Angelina created.]''
:'''Marco''': Wow! That is your partner? 
:'''Angelina''': Yes. 
:'''Marco''': But she is not real.
:'''Angelina''': Yes, she is. She is a real dancing doll. 
:''[After Angelina says this, Marco looks at the rules.]''
:'''Marco''': ''[to Angelina]'' The rules do not say, &quot;No dancing dolls&quot;. 
:'''Angelina''': Good. 
:'''Marco''': But it does not say they are okay either. I am not sure about this Angelina. 
:''[The scene cuts to Ms. Mimi now talking to Angelina.]''
:'''Angelina''': Ms. Mimi? I really wish I could dance in the showcase.
:'''Ms. Mimi''': You really want to be in the showcase. Do you?
:'''Angelina''': ''[crying]'' Yes. I really do.
:''[Tears run down Angelina's cheeks after she --Angelina-- says this.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': And are you willing to work hard?
:'''Angelina''': ''[in between tears]'' Mm-hmmm.
:''[Angelina --after saying this-- resumes crying.]'' 
:'''Ms. Mimi''': Then I will give you some extra time to come up with a routine. And instead of dancing first, you and your partner may dance last today.

===Angelina's Gift for Ms. Mimi / Angelina's Oldest Friend [1.3]===
:''[After the gift, decorations, and birthday cake got ruined.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[sadly]'' No gift, no decorations, and no cake! Not a very good birthday party!
:''[Angelina sniffles. The scene cuts to where Angelina, Viki, Gracie, and Marco are staring at the ruined birthday cake that Marco just made. Now they end up with no gift, no decorations, and no cake/treats/baked goods to share]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[sadly]'' We can't have a birthday party without a cake!
:''[Angelina, the girls and Marco know that they're too late to make or buy a new cake. Because there's no time to make nor buy a new one. They also have no decorations nor present either. The party for Ms. Mimi turns out to be ruined. However, before they give up, Polly hatches a plan. Polly runs to Angelina, Marco, Viki, and Gracie. And she whips out her untouched and uneaten leftover muffin from her bag.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[to Angelina, the other two girls, and Marco]'' We can (always) use my muffin as a cake.
:''[Polly knows she always has back-ups with plans if she has any whenever something goes wrong.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[takes the muffin from Polly as she has suggested to celebrate with Polly's &quot;treats&quot;]'' Thanks Polly. 
:''[So therefore, Polly's &quot;treats&quot; are served. The kids are set to have Polly's treats which are the muffins that she, Angelina, and their mom had made. The &quot;birthday treat&quot; is Polly's treats instead of cake. That is, which is a spare muffin.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Gracie''': Here's your card. 
:''[Gracie hands Ms. Mimi her birthday card.]''
:'''Viki''': We drew it ourselves.
:''[Polly sets out Ms. Mimi's birthday &quot;cupcake&quot;, which is actually a muffin with a birthday candles.]''
:'''Polly''': And here is your cake. 
:''[But Polly notes that it's really a muffin and looks at it half sadly.]'' 
:'''Polly''': Well, sort of.
:''[The mouselings and Ms. Mimi have Polly's treats; muffins instead of cake. However, Polly did say it was &quot;sort of&quot; like a cake/cupcakes.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[As the kids --Angelina, Gracie, Vicki, and Marco-- are playing their birthday song. Polly --on the other hand-- snuggles on to Ms. Mimi's lap. Ms. Mimi gently scoops up Polly and gently sits her --Polly-- down on her lap. She holds Polly close and hugs her --Polly-- on the belly and waist. Then she says...!]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': To be very good, all a gift needs is to have lots of love in it. 
:''[Polly hands Ms. Mimi the muffin with the birthday candle on it. Ms. Mimi --even though the real birthday cake was ruined-- does like muffins too.]'' 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[The others --Gracie, Vicki, and Marco-- have heard the word &quot;crickets&quot; from Alice. That is, since Alice was going to read the &quot;pretend class&quot; --Gracie, Vicki, and Marco--  the story &quot;Goldi-Mouse and the Three Crickets&quot;. Then --after the trio heard the word &quot;crickets&quot;-- they perform the chant &quot;The Camembert Cheer&quot;.]''
:'''Gracie, Vicki, and Marco''': ''[chanting]'' ''Pirouette left, pirouette right!''
:'''Alice''': Now what are they doing?
:'''Angelina''': The Camembert Cheer!
:'''Gracie, Vicki, and Marco''': ''[chanting]'' ''Tap your toes with all your might!''
:'''Alice''': That's not fair! I was going to read my story!
:'''Angelina''': I know. But..!
:''[Gracie, Vicki, and Marco are trying to do the &quot;Camembert Cheer&quot; which was taught by Ms. Mimi on them even though they should know that it is Alice's turn.]''
:'''Gracie, Vicki, and Marco''': ''[still chanting]'' ''Crouch like a cricket, then ready, steady, hop!''
:''Camembert kids never--''
:''[But before they can say the last word of their chant --The Camembert Cheer-- which is &quot;Camembert kids never stop!&quot;, Alice --who gets to the last straw-- screams out a big, long, &quot;STOP&quot;. She says it with her head shaking violently.]''
:'''Alice''': &lt;big&gt;'''STOPPPPP!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[The others --Vicki, Gracie, and Marco-- stop chanting.]''
:'''Alice''': &lt;big&gt;'''IT'S...! MY...! TURN!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;

===Angelina and the Hip Hop Kid / Angelina and the Broken Fiddle [1.4]===

===Angelina and Alice's Big Night / Angelina and the Giant [1.5]===

===Angelina's Musical Day / Angelina's Crazy Solo [1.6]===
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': And what role are you, Angelina?
:'''Angelina''': I'm the bird, mom. I'm playing the flute.
:'''Polly''': What kind of fruit? I love bananas, but they don't do any sound.
:'''Angelina''': Not fruit, Polly, a flute.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Polly''': And don't play the fruit ''instead'' of a flute.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': Is Gracie okay?
:'''Marco''': She's ''quackers.''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina, Gracie, Marco, and Viki''': Good morning, Ms. Mimi!
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[points at her throat]''
:'''Viki''': She's trying to say something.
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[writes in her notebook]''
:'''Angelina''': It says she lost her voice.
:'''Gracie''': If Ms. Mimi lost her voice...
:'''Marco''': Oh no.
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[gestures that she doesn't know]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': ''[about Ms. Mimi calling everyone with music]'' It's gonna go on all morning.

===Angelina and the Irish Jig / Angelina En Pointe [1.7]===
:'''Gracie''': Sorry, Angelina, I did my best to stop her.
:'''Viki''': Stop me?
:'''Gracie''': No.
:'''Viki''': I was right all along. There is something going on, and I was coming here to say sorry to you. ''[cries]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': Viki, I'm really sorry for what I did to your music.
:'''Viki''': Then why are you always whispering about me and making silly secret plans?
:'''Angelina''': Because I wanted to make a surprise Irish party for you to say a really big sorry.
:'''Viki''': So that's what all the whispering and planning was about?
:'''Angelina''': Uh-huh.
:'''Viki''': Well, I'm sorry now.

=== Angelina and the Rock Band / Angelina's Lost Ice Skates [1.8] ===
:'''Angelina''': ''[after waking up]'' Polly, am I dreaming or is the ice skate show really today?
:'''Polly''': It's ''really'', ''really'', ''really'' today!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': How do I look?
:'''Alice''': Perfect. How about me?
:'''Polly''': Double perfect.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Hang on a minute, girls. Now you have a busy day ahead of you. You ''need'' to keep track of your time and your things.
:'''Angelina''': Don't worry, mom. We'll be the responsible mouselings of all in Mouse Land.
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Do you have everything you need?
:'''Angelina''': Not at all.
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': How about these?
:''[Polly reveals the lunch bags and Angelina gets them]''
:'''Angelina''': Oops.
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Ahem. ''And'' these?
:''[She reveals the ice skates and Alice gets them]''
:'''Alice''': ''Double'' oops.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': ''[after seeing her and Alice's lunches being gobbled by birds]'' Sorry, I didn't know birds really like jam sandwiches.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': Oh no, oh no, on no!
:'''Alice''': Oh what?

===Angelina and the New Music Store / Angelina and Ms. Mimi [1.9]===
:''[As Angelina still raps --from the drum-- Ms. Mimi --as Angelina keeps going-- gets upset.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': Angelina...? &lt;big&gt;'''ANGELINA...?!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Angelina pauses and Ms. Mimi's shadow hovers over her.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': &lt;big&gt;'''COME AND SEE ME AFTER SCHOOL PLEASE!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[As Ms. Mimi says this, Angelina knows that she is in big trouble.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[The scene --after the lunchtime theater where Marco, Gracie, and Vicki were-- then cuts to Ms. Mimi's classroom. Angelina has to stay after school and she's in the classroom. That afternoon --after school-- Ms. Mimi has asked Angelina to stay after school for after school detention because Angelina was talking in class. Ms. Mimi is disciplining Angelina. In other words: &quot;The scene cuts to where Ms. Mimi is issuing Angelina with her after school detention&quot;. Angelina is seen in Ms. Mimi's classroom. She was making noises like the drum after being asked for quiet. So it cuts to where Angelina is in after school detention. She --sitting on a time-out chair-- is facing Ms. Mimi in front of her desk. Before assigning Angelina after school detention after school, Ms. Mimi talks to Angelina.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[to Angelina]'' So, when I asked for quiet, Angelina...! 
:''[Ms. Mimi then expects answers from Angelina.]'' 
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ...I really do expect to get it! I am surprised!
:'''Angelina''': ''[apologizing to Ms. Mimi for talking in class]'' I am sorry, Ms. Mimi. 
:''[It is true that Angelina has apologized for her unruly behavior in class. And she does promise it will never happen again. But even though Angelina apologizes --for her unruly behavior which was talking and Ms. Mimi asked for quiet but she did not listen-- she knows that sometimes an apology/promise does not cut it. Her behavior was still not okay. Really, she's still in trouble. Because in reality, if one apologizes and/or makes a promise --which is a promise to not do it again-- sometimes it does not allow them to get away with being punished. Sometimes it doesn't and therefore, they still have to pay the consequence. There are appropriate/common/natural/local consequences for actions. That means they --one and in this case Angelina too-- must be accountable for their actions. In this case --like for Angelina who talked in class-- she has to pay the consequence. She is ordered to stay after school and see Ms. Mimi to do after school detention. Possibly for a whole week and no drum day on said day. So --as a result-- Angelina is --in fact-- still in trouble. She still did something in class that she was not supposed to do. It was on purpose. Not only on purpose, but also a big no-no. So her &quot;apology&quot; does not work and she's still considered a wrongdoer --according to Ms. Mimi-- and must be punished or disciplined. Additionally, she --by extension-- is also held responsible for talking and disrupting in class. Although her after school detention was not seen, she still was assigned it by Ms. Mimi for being disruptive even though Ms. Mimi asked for quiet. Now Angelina has it for a whole week and she gets no drum day the next day or in other words, &quot;not this year&quot;. From this point, Angelina's &quot;after school detention week&quot; with Ms. Mimi --after school-- starts, and starting today. So until her &quot;after school detention week&quot; is over, there is no drum day nor any after school activities for Angelina. Because she is in after school detention with Ms. Mimi. We may be sorry, and we may make an apology/promise. But we are still considered a wrongdoer. An apology/promise alone does not erase the action you --and in this case Angelina-- did. In the meantime, Angelina is in trouble, she gets a week of after school detention, and she gets no drum day this year. Her turn for the drums --on drum day-- is dismissed.]''

===Angelina and Super Polly / Angelina's Dance Like a Cake Day [1.10]===

==Series 2 (Nov. 14, 2009-Jan. 16, 2010)==
===Angelina's Sleepover / Angelina's Noisy, Messy Lunchtime [2.1]===
:''[Angelina tries to talk her mom into letting her and Gracie and Vicki have a sleepover. Mrs. Mouseling is playing cards with Polly]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[asks her mother about a sleepover]'' Please, can Gracie and Viki sleep over? Please? Please?
:''[Mrs. Mouseling is playing cards with Polly. Then she turns to Angelina]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[to Angelina]'' Oh, Angelina? 
:''[Mrs. Mouseling tries to warn Angelina that a sleepover might not be a good idea. That is, as she asks...!]'' 
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Are you sure that a sleepover is a great idea?
:'''Angelina''': Why not?
:''[Mrs. Mouseling says to Angelina why a sleepover might not be a good idea. That is, as she says...!]'' 
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[to Angelina]'' Well, for one thing, they must not even be called &quot;sleepovers&quot;. Because no one ever sleeps.
:''[Indeed, that is true. True to Mrs. Mouseling's reason, if Angelina does have a sleepover, it must not be called a &quot;sleepover&quot;. Because no one sleeps.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[The scene cuts to daytime. When morning comes, Mrs. Mouseling turns on the light in the attic and wakes up Angelina, Vicki, and Gracie. She says a big, long &quot;RISE AND SHINE!&quot; in a singy-songy tone. Her &quot;Rise and shine!&quot; command in a singy-songy tone to the girls echoes through the attic window.]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[sing-songy]'' &lt;big&gt;'''♪ RISE AND SHINE (GIRLS)! ♪'''&lt;/big&gt; 
:''[The girls are too tired since they were up all night.]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Oh dear. You girls must have been up very, very late.
:'''Angelina''': Look, I think we broke lamp.
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Luckily the lamp isn't broken. But you did break your promise. 
:'''Angelina''': I did break my promise. And I am really, truly, sorry.
:''[The scene then cuts to Angelina's school. Angelina, Gracie, and Vicki get back to school and end up extremely tired since the night before]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[narrating]'' I am not just sorry...! &lt;big&gt;'''BUT ALSO SO SLEEPY!'''&lt;/big&gt; Things are not looking very good. 
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[about the girls being late for class]'' You girls are late.
:'''Angelina, Gracie and Vicki''': Sorry, Ms. Mimi.
:'''Ms. Mimi''': I hope you have learned your double pirouettes, Angelina.
:''[To practice for the performance, which is the next day, Ms. Mimi plays the song on the radio.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Ms. Mimi''': The only dance you can do on this state, it is &quot;[[w: Sleeping Beauty|Sleeping Beauty]]&quot;. So, I am going to have to ask you three to go home and go straight to bed. 
:''[Then she talks to the girls about a make-up rehearsal. That is, after she tells them that &quot;[[w: Sleeping Beauty|Sleeping Beauty]]&quot; is the only dance that they can do in this stage. From her --Ms. Mimi's--  previous quote, she says, &quot;The only dance that you can do in this stage is [[w: Sleeping Beauty|Sleeping Beauty]]&quot;. Then she --Ms. Mimi-- next says...!]'' 
:'''Ms. Mimi''': Then we have a make-up rehearsal later this afternoon.
:''[Gracie mentions that she and Angelina and Viki have the fair. That is, the Silly Hat Carnival. And she knows that she and the others may have to miss it since they are going to do an afternoon rehearsal for a make-up rehearsal.]''
:'''Gracie''': But that is when the carnival starts...!
:'''Ms. Mimi''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Angelina''': Oh no.
:''[After Angelina and Gracie have mentioned the fair since they had made their silly hats the night before, Ms. Mimi starts with the options.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[to Angelina, Gracie and Vicki]'' Well, if you like, you can do the carnival and miss the rehearsal.
:'''Gracie''': ''[smiles]'' We can?
:'''Ms. Mimi''': Yes. 
:''[But Ms. Mimi has another option if the girls go to the fair.]'' 
:'''Ms. Mimi''': But if you miss the rehearsal, then you miss out the performance.
:''[Soon, the girls --Angelina, Gracie, and Viki-- have the choice between the performance or the carnival. If they go to the rehearsal and practice, they get to be in the performance. But if they go to the fair and miss the rehearsal, they are going to have to miss the performance.]''
:'''Angelina''':  Oh no.
:'''Ms. Mimi''': If you have not rehearsed, that would be not fair to the dance, the audience, nor to yourselves. Think about it girls. It's your decision. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[The scene --after Angelina and the other girls Gracie and Vicki make their decision which had been shown at the school-- cuts to Angelina's house.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[is prepared for the fair]'' Woo-hoo! Carnival time!
:''[But Angelina has made a good choice to do the performance and not the carnival. So she tells Polly that she is not doing the fair. Polly still wants to go, but Angelina is not going to the fair.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[still holds her crown]'' I'm not doing the carnival this year, Polly. 
:''[This is the last time that Angelina mentions the fair.]''
:'''Polly''': But, it is the silly hat carnival.
:'''Angelina''': Why don't you wear my hat?
:'''Polly''': ''[as Angelina hands her hat to her]'' Wow! Me? For real?
:''[Polly might be able to wear Angelina's crown which Angelina had made with her friends the night before. She might even wear it to the performance too. That is, even though Angelina was supposed to go to the carnival. But since she and Vicki and Gracie had the choice from Ms. Mimi between doing the performance or the fair, Angelina made the right decision to go to not the carnival but the rehearsal]''
:'''Angelina''': Yes, Polly. It's all yours.
:''[Angelina heads out the door and off to rehearsals. Ms. Mimi did say, &quot;make up rehearsal&quot;]''
:'''Angelina''': Well, I must be going to rehearsals like I promised Ms. Mimi.
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': That's my little girl.
:'''Angelina''': You mean, &quot;Your big girl&quot;. 
:''[Angelina hugs her mom]'' 
:'''Angelina''': Big girls keep promises.  
:''[Angelina leaves the house to the afternoon rehearsal with Ms. Mimi, Gracie, and Vicki. The scene cuts to night time and to Angelina who is now in her bedroom. Angelina --along with Gracie and Vicki-- did do the rehearsal. Now on the night before the performance, Angelina is preparing for bed. She goes to bed early knowing that she has plans for the performance.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[narrating]'' Now it is the night before the performance. So, I have big plans.
:''[Angelina now in her pajamas is seen getting ready for bed and preparing for the performance which is the next day. Mrs. Mouseling and Polly are watching her --happy that Angelina went to bed early.]''
:'''Polly''': Look! Angelina went to bed very, very, early!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': She is going to be one well rested little dancer.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[After the performance is over.]''
:'''Polly''': Mommy?
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Yes, Polly?
:''[Like Angelina, Polly --when she is in school someday-- tries to talk her mother into a sleepover with friends.]''
:'''Polly''': When am I having a sleepover?
:''[True to Polly's question, she asks when she gets to have a sleepover too. And Ms. Mimi, she says...!]'' 
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': (A sleepover...?)
:''[Mrs. Mouseling laughs shortly. Then she sighs and puts her hand over her brow. She facepalms in response after Polly asks when she --herself-- gets to have a sleepover like Angelina. This means she would not want to have Polly doing the same thing that Angelina had. Mrs. Mouseling does this as if she rather not hear the word &quot;overnight&quot; again for a long time. Really, she rather not hear it again for a long time. It is true that Polly is little enough to have a sleepover. But Mrs. Mouseling does not want to allow sleepovers with friends in the house. Because Polly might have the same thing as Angelina. As for the &quot;overnight&quot; subject, Mrs. Mouseling would also mean that the only time Angelina and Polly --from now on and forever after-- can have an &quot;overnight&quot; is if they do it with her --Mrs. Mouseling-- and their father Mr. Mouseling. That is, such as camping and vacations in the summer. But not an overnight with friends.]''

===Angelina's Holiday Treats / Angelina and the Front Row Ticket [2.2]===
:'''Angelina''': ''[sadly]'' I have invited far too many people! Now everyone is cross with me!
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': There must be a solution. Let's think.
:''[Angelina's frown turns into a smile for planning a solution]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[for one solution]'' Maybe we (me, Mom, Alice, and Vicki) could bring Polly in a very big purse...!
:''[The scene cuts to the said theater where &quot;The Nutcracker&quot; where Angelina, her mom Mrs. Mouseling, and her friends --Alice and Vicki-- have a big, giant purse big enough for a mouseling that size to fit inside like Polly. And Polly is inside of it and indeed fits inside the giant purse. So true to what Angelina says, her first idea is Polly in a giant purse. When that does not work, Angelina says...!]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[for a second solution]'' Or Vicki could dress up as a pet canary...!
:''[The next scene shows to where the said theater where Angelina and Alice have Viki in a bird cage and Viki is dressed up as a pet canary]''
:'''Angelina''': The theater, they might not allow pets.
:''[The third scene shows to the said theater where Alice and Viki are dressed up as a conjoined twin or &quot;conjoined sister&quot;]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[for a third solution]'' Or, maybe they could come as a two headed lady!
:''[However, Angelina knows the correct truth of what would happen if she and her friends try one of those three false solutions --Polly in a giant purse, Vicki as a pet canary, or Alice and Vicki dressing up like a two headed lady.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[as the scene cuts back to reality]'' On second thought, none of that may work. Oh dear!
:''[Polly taunts Angelina that she is going to the nutcracker. She dances with the nutcracker doll]''
:'''Polly''': ''[sing songy]'' ♪ &lt;big&gt;'''POLLY'S GOING TO THE NUTCRACKER!'''&lt;/big&gt; ♪
:'''Angelina''': Oh, what can I do?
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': You have a hard solution to make. But I know you may think of something fair.
:'''Angelina''': ''[has a solution]'' Well, there is one thing I can do. But it's a super, super, duper tough thing to do. Really, truly, hard.
:''[The scene cuts to night]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[narrating]'' I did the super tough solution. I gave up my tickets so Polly, Alice, and Vicki could go.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': ''[hands Mrs. Mouseling the tickets]'' You are not going to go very far without these. 
:''[As Mr. Mouseling reveals the tickets to Mrs. Mouseling, it is shown that there is a ticket for Mrs. Mouseling, a ticket for Polly, a ticket for Alice, and a ticket for Vicki. Then Mrs. Mouseling sadly walks over to Angelina, then she takes pity over Angelina, even though Angelina did her best.]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[to Angelina]'' I am sorry, dear. 
:''[Mrs. Mouseling kisses Angelina.]'' 
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Your friends and I really wish that we could buy another ticket.
:'''Angelina''': Me too. 
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': We are proud of you for making a grown up choice.
:'''Angelina''': Thanks, Dad. Are you sure my name is on the waiting list to see &quot;The Nutcracker&quot;?
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': Yes. But we cannot get a hopes up.

===Angelina Keeps the Peace / Angelina and Alice Mousikova [2.3]===

===Angelina and Gracie's Creative Day / Angelina's Big Part [2.4]===

===Angelina and the Tummy Butterflies / Angelina and the Magician [2.5]===

===Angelina Cheerleader / Angelina's Ballet School [2.6]===

===Angelina and the Roquefort's Rhythmic Ghost / Angelina's Lunch Table [2.7]===

===Angelina and the Big News / Angelina's Secret Valentine [2.8]===

===Angelina and the Front Page / Angelina's Cheese Roll [2.9]===

===Angelina and the Musical Plant / Angelina's Hip Hop Boys Show [2.10]===

==Series 3 (Jan. 23, 2010-Apr. 3, 2010)==
===Angelina and the Cheddar Cheese Slide / Angelina and the Case of the Missing Music [3.1]===
:''[Polly drawing a picture --now running out of paper-- asks Mrs. Matilda Mouseling for more paper.]''
:'''Polly''': Mom? Pretty please with cheese...? Can I have some paper?
:'''Mrs. Matilda Mouseling''': In a minute, Polly.

===Angelina, the Pet Sitter / Angelina and the Music Box [3.2]===
:''[Angelina is unsure of whether she broke the music box --after she hid Polly's music box, put it on a pile of boxes, and it dropped-- but she pleads at it to still work.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[to the music box and pleading]'' Please work! Please work! Please work! 
:''[The music box seems to be working again, but then it makes a squealching noise. Polly --when she hears the squealching and distorted noise-- wakes up from the sound of it.]''
:'''Polly''': Huh? What was that loud noise?
:'''A.J''': I was rapping.
:''[A.J makes rapping sounds.]''
:'''Polly''': Waltz time. 
:''[Angelina hands Polly the music box. Polly is unaware that the music box is broken. That is, until she turns on the music box. And the music box makes a distorted music sound.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[gasps]'' &lt;big&gt;'''OH NO! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY MUSIC BOX!?'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Angelina''': It is fine. Try it again. 
:''[Polly turns on the music box again. The music from Polly's music box makes a distorted music sound. Angelina tries to sing the lyrics to the song from the music box to cover up the fact that it's broken. As Polly waltzes, Angelina --trying to cover up the truth about the music box being broken-- sings to it, but she is interrupted by a sneeze. As a result, she sneezes instead.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[sneezing]'' Ah-choo!
:'''Polly''': La, la...! &lt;big&gt;'''AND &quot;ACHOO&quot;?!'''&lt;/big&gt; 
:''[Then she turns to Angelina about Angelina's song even though the music box is really broken.]''  
:'''Polly''': &lt;big&gt;'''THAT'S NOT HOW THE SONG GOES!'''&lt;/big&gt; 
:''[Angelina --still trying to cover up the truth-- continues her song.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[sings two more hums but sneezes again, this time with a big sneeze and it's bigger than her first sneeze]'' &lt;big&gt;'''AH-AH-ACHOO!'''&lt;/big&gt; 
:'''Polly''': ''[about Angelina singing the song]'' &lt;big&gt;'''HEY! YOU ARE SINGING THE SONG!'''&lt;/big&gt; 
:''[Now Polly has noticed that Angelina was trying to cover up the truth that the music box was broken, and Angelina did not even tell her. So Polly does notice that her music box is broken.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[about her music box]'' What is wrong with my music box?
:''[Polly --knowing that Angelina has been hiding something from her since she broke the music box in the first place-- after asking this, she wants an answer.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[pointing to one of the boxes on the high stack of boxes where she tried to hide Polly's music box in]'' It fell off the box and broke.
:'''Polly''': (I know it got broken. But how did it get broken?) How did it get up there?
:''[Angelina --knowing she has to tell Polly the truth-- explains everything and confesses that she broke the music box.]''
:'''Angelina''': Oh...! I am sorry, Polly. I should not have touched it without asking you first.
:''[While Polly was napping, Angelina was really trying to hide Polly's music box. But to hide it, it broke when Angelina put the music box on a high stack of boxes and it fell down to the floor.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[in between tears and before crying]'' Oh no! Now Princess Polly cannot waltz! And I love to waltz! 
:''[Polly lifts up her head and cries.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[crying]'' Waah! 
:'''Angelina''': Don't cry Polly. 
:''[Polly cries and a tear rolls down her cheek.]''
:'''Angelina''': Maybe I can try to fix it.
:''[Well, Polly briefly stops crying after Angelina says this. Angelina, she tries to fix the music box by shaking it. But the wind-up key/wind-up button --attached to the front of the music box and which turns the music on and off-- breaks off and lands on the ground.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[gasps]'' &lt;big&gt;'''YOU MADE IT EVEN MORE BROKENER!'''&lt;/big&gt; 
:''[Polly lifts up her head and resumes crying.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[crying]'' Waah! 
:'''Alice''': ''[to Polly and comforts her]'' I am sure that you can get a new music box, Polly. (Perhaps your mom can help you fix or replace it.) 
:'''Angelina''': ''[to Alice]'' I don't think so. It must be very, very, old. 
:''[Polly cries --jumping from foot to foot-- and says...!]''
:'''Polly''': ''[crying]'' &lt;big&gt;'''I NEED MY MUSIC BOX! I WANT TO WALTZ!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''A.J.''': Wait a minute. You do not need the music box to waltz, Polly.

===Angelina and the Dance-A-Thon / Angelina and the Art Show [3.3]===

===Angelina's Hiccups / Angelina and the Must-Have Ballet Bag [3.4]===

===Angelina's Room / Angelina's Camembert Parade [3.5]===
:'''Angelina''': I heard you playing the harmonica. Do you mind if I come in and listen?
:'''Gracie''': Of course not, Angelina.
:'''Angelina''': I'm sorry I've been such a grouchy mouse.
:'''Gracie''': I'm sorry I ruined your reading. Maybe we could read your book together.
:'''Angelina''': I've got a better idea. Let's do the pirate dance just once before we go to sleep.
:'''Gracie''': Qui.

===Angelina and the Band Leader	/ Angelina and Polly's Two-Hour Show [3.6]===

===Angelina and the Marcel Mouseau Mime Challenge / Angelina and the Dance Craze [3.7]===
:'''Polly''': ''[after hearing from Angelina that Marco cannot speak until 6 o'clock]'' Oh. I don't like it when Marco does not speak.
:''[Polly runs up to Marco.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[in a sneaky little sister smile]'' I am going to make him!
:''[Polly tickles Marco on the tummy. She does it to make Marco speak. So she says...!]''
:'''Polly''': Tickle, tickle, tickle.
:''[Polly tickles Marco on the tummy --this time pinning him to the floor with herself on him-- and says the same thing while tickling him to make him speak. That is, as she says...!]''
:'''Polly''': Tickle, tickle, tickle.
:''[Marco laughs silently because it tickles. Then Angelina laughs and taunts Marco about Polly. That is, as she --Angelina-- says...!]'' 
:'''Angelina''': ''[to Marco]'' Sorry, Marco. I wish I could stop her. But I can't tell you how little sisters are!
:''[Angelina --upon saying this-- she watches in horror. Then with a sneaky smile, she says to Marco she wishes that she could speak for him, but he should know how little sisters are.]''

===Angelina and the Mouselinghood of the Dancing Shoes / Angelina and Her Parent's Dance Lesson [3.8]===

===Angelina and the New Jeans / Angelina and the Poster [3.9]===
:'''Angelina''': ''[she is paired up with not Alice; but Marco]'' But I want to pair with Alice! Alice and I already talked about it!
:'''Ms. Mimi''': Sorry, Angelina. But you and Alice always pair up together. And this time I want you to be with someone else (like Marco). That way you can explore different approaches and styles.
:''[According to Ms. Mimi, Angelina and Alice always pair together. But Ms. Mimi says Angelina should be with someone else so she &quot;explores different approaches and styles&quot;. As a result, Angelina is paired with one of the boys. And it is Marco]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[After wasting one too many sheets of paper for the poster]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[hands Angelina a new sheet of paper for the poster after Angelina has asked for a new one to &quot;start again&quot;, but sadly tells Angelina that it is the last one]'' This is the last one I am afraid, Angelina.
:''[Angelina takes the sheet of paper. The scene cuts to the dance studio.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[to Marco about the last piece of paper]'' Well, I don't know what to do!

===Angelina's Nature Dance / Angelina's Spring Fling [3.10]===
:''[Angelina gets an idea of a nature dance without any little sisters around. Earlier, in the bumblebee dance, Polly --who wanted to be a bumblebee like Angelina and the big girls-- showed up and tried to tag along with Angelina. And she pretended to be a bee.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[to Vicki, Alice, and Gracie]'' I have the most stupendous idea where we can go. 
:''[Angelina and the other girls --Vicki, Alice, and Gracie-- exit down the stairs and off to the park.]'' 
:'''Angelina''': Lots of nature. And no little sisters.
:''[The scene cuts to Polly and Mrs. Mouseling. Polly snuggles onto her mom's lap and cries. Polly is crying because she does not ever get to spend time with Angelina and her friends. Angelina was nasty to her when Polly herself was trying to be a bumblebee with Angelina, Vicki, Alice, and Gracie. Polly was tagging along when Angelina and her friends were doing the bumblebee dance. And she wanted to be a bee with Angelina and the other big girls. Tears roll down Polly's cheeks, and Polly --because she never gets to spend time with Angelina and the big girls-- cries.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[in between tears]'' That's not fair! I wanted to stay and be a bee with all the big girls!
:''[Polly --after saying this-- resumes crying. Mrs. Mouseling comforts Polly. She hugs Polly on her lap after Angelina had made her cry. And Mrs. Mouseling, she says to Polly...!]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[to Polly]'' I know dear. 
:''[Mrs. Mouseling --with Polly on her lap-- hugs Polly.]'' 
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[continues to Polly]'' But you will be a big girl one day.
:''[Polly stops crying. It is not long until Angelina has asked her mom about doing a nature dance at the park.]'' 
:'''Angelina''': Mom? Can we bring a snack?
:'''Gracie''': To take out to the park?
:'''Alice''': We need to get lots of ideas from nature.
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[giggles]'' I do not see why not. 
:''[Polly has just heard about going to the park. Then she asks Angelina if she can come.]''
:'''Polly''': Hooray! 
:''[Polly invites herself over.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[to Angelina]'' May I come?
:''[Angelina thinks sadly and sighs. In a concerned expression, she tries to think whether she should let Polly join her and her friends Alice, Vicki, and Gracie at the park for nature dances. However, she really wants it to not happen because she left out Polly when Polly wanted to be a bumblebee like the big girls. It seems that Angelina is unsure of whether or not Polly should join.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[asks Angelina again]'' Pretty please with cheese?
:''[After Polly's &quot;cry&quot; and complaint about her always being left out on spending time with Angelina and the other big girls, Mrs. Mouseling turns to Angelina. And she says...!]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[tells Angelina to be a good big sister and invite her little sister Polly]'' Please, Angelina. Please be a good big sister now.
:''[Angelina sighs again upon hearing this from Mrs. Mouseling-- to &quot;be a good big sister&quot; and let Polly come. Polly was crying because she never gets to spend time with Angelina and the other big girls. So as a result, after Angelina's mother tells Angelina to be a good big sister on Polly, Polly gets to join. Then the scene cuts to the park. Polly has invited herself along to the park with Angelina and her friends. And what's more, since Mrs. Mouseling told Angelina to &quot;be a good big sister&quot; and let Polly come, Angelina is forced to take Polly along on the collaboration with her friends.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[mimics a bumblebee again]'' Bzz! Bzz! Bzz! Bzz! Bzzzz!
:''[The scene goes to Angelina and Gracie --who are taking a picnic basket with after school snacks inside-- and Angelina turns to Polly and looks at her who is still acting like a bumblebee.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[annoyed and to Polly who is still pretending to be a bee]'' Okay, relax Polly! We are not being bees anymore!
:''[As a result, Angelina thinks it is bad enough that Polly was being a bumblebee when she and the other girls were doing the &quot;[[w:The Flight of the Bumblebee|Flight of the Bumblebee]]&quot; dance for nature dances and has to deal with it. But now, she is forced to take Polly along on the collaboration with her friends for other nature dances --which is to the park-- after Polly invited herself. And she has to deal with that too.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': ''[to her friends]'' &lt;big&gt;'''NO SHE IS NOT! SHE IS JUST SHOWING OFF! SHE IS RUINING EVERYTHING!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Angelina is sick and tired of Polly tagging along and inviting herself.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[to her friends]'' We are never going to have our dance ready! I wish Polly just stayed at home! 
:''[At that, what Angelina means by that is, she wishes that Polly would disappear. Angelina glares at Polly. The scene cuts to the teary-eyed Polly. Polly --hearing this from her nasty big sister-- tearfully looks at Angelina. Then she stands up and runs away crying.]'' 
:'''Polly''': ''[crying]'' (Insert crying sounds here)! 
:''[Vicki calls out after her and --offscreen-- comforts her.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[to Alice and Gracie]'' I am tired of Polly always tagging along all the time! She is always getting in the way!

==Series 4 (Sept. 4, 2010-Nov. 13, 2010)==
===Angelina's Fancy Tutu / Angelina and the Musical Theater [4.1]===

===Angelina and the Heart on Ice / Angelina's Kitchen Band [4.2]===

===Angelina and the Carnival / Angelina Jumps the River [4.3]===

:''[The scene is in Angelina's mind where Polly is having her party. While Angelina is at the carnival with her friends, Polly is having an &quot;unhappy birthday&quot; because Angelina is not at her party. Mrs. Mouseling, she consoles Polly and says...!]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[to Polly]'' What is the matter, Polly? It is your birthday. You should be having fun. 
:'''Polly''': I can't have any fun! 
:''[Mr. Mouseling and Mrs. Mouseling look on at their youngest daughter --who is not having fun at her party since Angelina is not here.]'' 
:'''Polly''': ''[before crying]'' &lt;big&gt;'''THIS IS THE WORST BIRTHDAY EVER!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Polly --after saying this-- she buries her face in her hands and cries.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[crying]'' &lt;big&gt;'''BOO HOO!'''&lt;/big&gt; 
:''[Polly takes her hands off her face and --tearfully-- looks at the viewers in between tears.]'' 
:'''Polly''': ''[in between tears and before resuming crying]'' &lt;big&gt;'''BECAUSE ANGELINA IS NOT HERE!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[The --now-- teary-eyed Polly --after saying this-- she resumes crying. Then she hugs her mother's waist. She is crying because it's her birthday and wishes Angelina was part of it.]''

===Angelina and the Windy Children's Day / Angelina and Ms. Mimi's Dance [4.4]===

:''[At the dance stage.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[in between flashback narration lines]'' &lt;big&gt;'''WHAT A DAY!'''&lt;/big&gt; First that big gust of wind, then Mr. Chirpyface dropped my lunch! The protein bars did not fill me up! And I wasn't able to dance in the dance studio because of the waxed floor! But now, I am not only hungry! I am also really thirsty! 
:''[The scene cuts from the dance stage to Ms. Mimi's story. And back to Ms. Mimi's story, the scene is shown in the classroom. In this scene, Ms. Mimi whips out her water bottle and tries to drink some water. That is, while she is grading and correcting the multiplication quiz packets.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[narrating]'' Luckily, I remembered to pack my water bottle.
:''[But before she can take a drink, her water bottle spills. And there is water all over the multiplication test. So the final straw happens where she --Ms. Mimi-- accidentally spills water --from her water bottle-- on her desk and on the multiplication test.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[sadly --after she had spilled her water]'' Oh dear! 
:''[Ms. Mimi picks up the multiplication quiz.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': &lt;big&gt;'''MY PROBLEMS ARE MULTIPLYING!'''&lt;/big&gt; 
:''[As she says this, she holds out the multiplication quiz. And she acts like the multiplication problems on it are her problems.]'' 
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[narrating]'' I dried off the multiplication test. That is, when I was met with a happy surprise.

===Angelina and the Mini Mouseling / Angelina's Helpful Friend [4.5]===

:''[Alice --as her &quot;unsuccessful character&quot; Baby Bear-- breaks the chair.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[to Alice]'' &lt;big&gt;'''ALICE!?'''&lt;/big&gt; 
:''[Angelina gasps. And she next says...!]'' 
:'''Angelina''': ''[continues]'' Goldi-Mouse, she was supposed to break that chair during the real performance!

===Angelina's Mother's Day / Angelina's Father's Day Surprise [4.6]===
:''[At the dance class on Saturday.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': Repeat after me just the way I am speaking.
:''[Ms. Mimi states a quiet sentence.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[whispers]'' Today, we are going to learn the word &quot;dynamics&quot;.
:'''All''': ''[say the same sentence and they whisper it like Ms. Mimi]'' Today, we are going to learn the word &quot;dynamics&quot;.
:''[Ms. Mimi states a loud sentence.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[says the sentence again but in a loud voice]'' &lt;big&gt;'''TODAY WE ARE GOING TO LEARN THE WORD &quot;DYNAMICS&quot;!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''All''': ''[they say the same sentence again like Ms. Mimi --but repeat it in a loud voice]'' &lt;big&gt;'''TODAY WE ARE GOING TO LEARN THE WORD &quot;DYNAMICS&quot;!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Ms. Mimi''': Good. 
:''[After they repeat the same phrase --but in a loud voice-- Ms. Mimi asks them what they think the difference was between the two sentences.]''
:'''Ms. Mimi''': ''[then to Angelina, Vicki, Gracie and Marco]'' What is different about those two sentences? 
:''[Angelina raises her hand]'' 
:'''Ms. Mimi''': Yes, Angelina?
:''[Even those two sentences are the same --the same phrase-- Angelina raises her hand. Then --despite the fact the sentence was the same-- she explains what the difference was between the two sentences.]'' 
:'''Angelina''': The first one is soft. The second one is loud.
:'''Ms. Mimi''': Exactly. We changed the dynamics. First the loudness, then the softness.
:''[So the similarity between those two sentences was that they are the same phrase --&quot;Today we are going to learn the word 'dynamics'&quot;. But the difference was, the sentence --said the first time-- was quiet, but the one --said the second time-- was loud. That is how the second sentence is different from the first.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': ''[narrating]'' Right after breakfast, Mom put her feet up. And we got to work.
:''[Mrs. Mouseling is reading a book]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': I am looking forward to a peaceful rest.
:''[Angelina and Polly are singing a song called &quot;[[w: Itsy Bitsy Spider|The Itsy, Bitsy, Spider]]&quot; while putting the books away for their mom]''
:'''Angelina and Polly''': ''[singing]'' ''♪ The itsy, bitsy, spider went up the water spout. ♪''
:''♪ Down came the rain and washed the spider out. ♪''
:''♪ Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. ♪''
:''♪ And the itsy, bitsy spider went up the spout again. ♪''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Polly''': ''[as Angelina looks at the big mess after she and Polly made with the books that they were supposed to put away and made them into a tower]'' What is it, Angelina?
:'''Angelina''': We were going to give Mom a really nice Mother's Day (surprise and present). But we made too much noise...! ''[looks at the mess]'' And a big mess.
:''[Polly adds more books to her pile; then to Angelina after their said song hoping to try to get to have the same song or another song going on again]''
:'''Polly''': Are we going to build some more?
:'''Angelina''': No, Polly. We need to put the books away now. 
:'''Polly''': Okey dokey. ''[sings a non-lexical song; a song being an inanimate one]'' ''♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la! ♪''
:'''Angelina''': And we need to do it quietly. So Mom can relax. 
:'''Polly''': ''[gets loud again]'' &lt;big&gt;'''OKEY DOKEY!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Angelina''': Shhhh! ''[remembers the word her teacher Ms. Mimi had told her about the day before; which was about &quot;dynamics&quot;. Then she tells it to Polly]'' I know. Ms. Mimi, she was talking about dynamics yesterday. Loud music makes you want to jump around. Quiet music always makes you dance very softly. ''[to Polly]'' Polly? Do you want to help me?
:'''Polly''': Yes, please with cheese. 
:'''Angelina''': I want to sing a quiet little song. Can you sing along with me.
:'''Polly''': Mm-hmm. I guess so.
:'''Angelina''': And while we are doing it, we can put the books away.
:'''Polly''': Okay, Angelina.

===Angelina and Polly's Big Day	/ Angelina and the Smelly Cheese [4.7]===
:''[Angelina fears that the stinky Rodentfort Cheese --at the Fere Francaise festival-- it would drive the mouse residents of Chipping Cheddar nuts. And her idea was to tell Mrs. Thimble the truth nicely. To vote for what person to tell Mrs. Thimble the truth about the Rodentford cheese, Angelina plays the [[w: One Potato, Two Potato|Hot Potato]] rhyme with A.Z, Alice, and Gracie and taps on their fists. The fist who stops on whoever's should be the person to tell Mrs. Thimble.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[chanting]'' ''One potato, two potato,''
:''Three potato, four'',
:''Five potato, six potato,''
:''Seven potato, MORE!''
:''[When Angelina says, &quot;...MORE!&quot;, her fist stops on her own. That means Angelina is &quot;it&quot; and the person to tell Mrs. Thimble the truth about the smelly cheese.]''
:'''Angelina''': Oh dear!
:'''Alice''': Good luck, Angelina.

===Angelina's Indian Lunchtime / Angelina, A.Z. and Cheezy Z [4.8]===

===Angelina's Trick or Treat Feat / Angelina and the Laughing Poet [4.9]===

:''[Angelina is trying to get Alice a trick out to get her to be sad in the sad rhyme from the poem. Because Alice's character in the poem is the sad part/sad verse. Meanwhile, the scene cuts to another picnic table at the lunchtime theater. That is, where Gracie and A.Z are sitting in. Gracie sits next to A.Z at lunch in the lunchtime theater. She --Gracie-- looks at A.Z's moldy cheese --in his lunch-- and becomes disgusted about the stinky smell from the moldy cheese. That is, as a stinky scent from the moldy cheese comes out and catches up into Gracie's nose.]''
:'''Gracie''': ''[to A.Z]'' &lt;big&gt;'''P.U! MOLDY CHEESE! KEEP THAT AWAY FROM ME!'''&lt;/big&gt; 
:''[Gracie --after the scent from the stinky and moldy cheese gets into her nose-- smells the stinky and moldy cheese, turns her head away, and pinches up her nose from the moldy cheese's stinky smell.]'' 
:'''Gracie''': ''[stinking her nose]'' &lt;big&gt;'''PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Gracie walks away from the lunch table A.Z is sitting at --pinching up her nose. She gets disgusted because someone would ever have moldy cheese in their lunch.]''
:'''Alice''': Great rhyming, Gracie. But that is still not helping. 
:''[Gracie --stinking up her nose-- tells Alice about the stinky smell coming from the moldy cheese in A.Z's lunchbox. That is, as she says...!]'' 
:'''Gracie''': ''[through a pinched-up nose]'' That wasn't supposed to rhyme! I meant it!

===Angelina and the Dragon Dance / Angelina's Opera [4.10]===

==Film series (2011-12)==
===Angelina Ballerina The Next Steps: The Shining Star Trophy===

===Angelina Ballerina The Next Steps: Dreams Do Come True===
:'''Angelina''': ''[narrating]'' The next day, something happened which made my big dreams very small indeed. 
:''[The scene cuts to Polly and Mrs. Mouseling. Polly is crying because she does not want Angelina moving away to Metroquefort Ballet Companies Junior Ballet School --the said boarding school-- for her big dream. Because then, Angelina is moving to other places so she can travel around the world after boarding school. And starting the first &quot;move-out&quot;, it is boarding school. And beyond that, the &quot;Big Dream&quot; includes boarding school, college, group home after college, marriage, and eventually having own mouselings of Angelina's own. That is, and not just boarding school. Because Angelina is also going to face college, living in a group home after college, marriage, and eventually having children of her own. Angelina is in second grade this year, but in the beginning of September --and after summer-- boarding school --the first move-- starts. And it takes place in Angelina's year of third grade. Camembert Academy is for school age mouselings, starting with kindergarten. But it only is kindergarten to second grade. Angelina --to repeat-- is in second grade this year. But the move --with the first one overall being boarding school-- starts in her year of third grade. In the meantime, the viewers see Polly. She is crying because Angelina is moving away. And --in between tears-- she says...!]''
:'''Polly''': ''[in between tears]'' That is not fair. 
:''[Polly wipes away a tear.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[in between tears]'' I don't want Angelina to move away for her big dream.
:''[Polly resumes crying. Mrs. Mouseling hugs Polly on her lap.]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[comforts Polly]'' I know dear.
:''[The big girls --Angelina, Alice, Gracie, and Vicki-- appear.]'' 
:'''Angelina''': Mom? Can we bring a snack?
:'''Gracie''': To take out to the park?
:''[Angelina sees her little sister Polly crying. And she --Angelina-- asks Polly...!]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[to Polly]'' Polly? What is the matter?
:''[Polly turns to Angelina.]''
:'''Polly''': ''[in between tears --and to Angelina]'' I am sad, Angelina. Because you are moving away. 
:'''Angelina''': I am not leaving until next week, Polly. (Until after summer, I mean.)
:'''Polly''': ''[crying]'' But I already miss you.
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[to Polly]'' Polly? Why don't you go to the park with Angelina?
:''[Mrs. Mouseling lets Polly off her lap so Polly can go to the park.]''
:'''Polly''': Okey dokey.
:''[Polly goes with the other girls to the park.]''
:'''Vicki''': ''[to Angelina]'' Meet you at the park, Angelina.

==Voice cast==
* [[Kylie Minogue]] as Angelina Mouseling
* [[Naomi McDonald]] as Alice Nimbletoes
* [[w:Jules de Jongh|Jules de Jongh]] as Marco Quesillo and Viki
* [[w:Jo Wyatt|Jo Wyatt]] as Gracie
* [[w:James Corden|James Corden]] as AZ
* [[w:Magda Szubanski|Magda Szubanski]] as Ms. Mimi
* [[w:James McAvoy|James McAvoy]] as Mr. Mouseling
* [[Emily Blunt]] as Mrs. Mouseling
* Leah Zabari as Polly Mouseling
* [[w:John Hurt|John Hurt]] as Mitchell Rodentia/Narrator

==See also==
* ''[[Angelina Ballerina (TV series)|Angelina Ballerina]]''

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
[[Category:2000s UK animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s UK animated TV shows]]
[[Category:UK television spin-offs]]
[[Category:Computer-animated TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated musical TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated education TV shows]]
[[Category:UK TV shows based on children's books]]
[[Category:UK TV shows with live action and animation]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:PBS Kids shows]]
[[Category:Treehouse TV shows]]
[[Category:Nick Jr. shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about mice and rats]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about children]]
[[Category:Dance]]</text>
      <sha1>b89jg58cjgk3shzc21suslo19w22oay</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>RMS Titanic</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>135335</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944160</id>
      <parentid>3943749</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T11:26:46Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>GrimRob</username>
        <id>1187925</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Undid revision [[Special:Diff/3943749|3943749]] by [[Special:Contributions/Omnis Scientia|Omnis Scientia]] ([[User talk:Omnis Scientia|talk]]) move it to a new section then, don't delete it</comment>
      <origin>3944160</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="5627" sha1="38m3uigd3lfiotyn2l4hlkin2pv2xs1" xml:space="preserve">[[File:RMS Titanic 3.jpg|thumb|There is no danger that Titanic will sink]]
[[w:RMS Titanic|'''RMS Titanic''']] was a British passenger liner that sank in the North Atlantic Ocean on [[15 April]] [[1912]] after colliding with an iceberg during her maiden voyage from Southampton, England to New York City. The sinking of ''Titanic'' caused the deaths of 1,514 people (mostly third-class passengers who formed the majority of the people on board the ''Titanic'') in one of the deadliest peacetime maritime disasters in history. She was the largest ship afloat at the time of her maiden voyage. One of three Olympic-class ocean liners operated by the White Star Line, she was built between 1909 and 1911 by the Harland and Wolff shipyard in Belfast. She carried 2,208 people; 1,496 died in the sinking, and 712 were saved.

== Sourced ==

* There is no danger that ''Titanic'' will sink. The boat is unsinkable and nothing but inconvenience will be suffered by the passengers.
** [https://www.bbc.co.uk/future/article/20120402-the-myth-of-the-unsinkable-ship Titanic anniversary: The myth of the unsinkable ship], ''BBC'' (2nd April 2012)

* I cannot imagine any condition which would cause a [large] ship to founder. . . . Modern shipbuilding has gone beyond that.
** The captain of The Titanic. Quoted in ''[[w:The Watchtower|The Watchtower]]'' magazine, published by Jehovah's Witnesses, April 15, 1988.
* [[God]] himself could not sink this [[ship]].
**A crew member of that vessel said to a passenger. Quoted in ''The Watchtower'' magazine, published by Jehovah's Witnesses, April 15, 1988.

* The Titanic sank about 2:20 a.m. April 15, 1912, according to the records. I saw it slide down into the ocean to its horrible finish. The moment it sank left a memory of something that haunts me till this day. It was the eerie sound of the people groaning and screaming frantically for help, as they were hurtled into the icy water. Almost all died from the cold water. The sounds lasted for about 45 minutes and then faded away.
** Louis Garrett, Titanic survivor. Quoted in ''Awake!'' magazine, October 22, 1981.

* In safety, . . . it was believed, the last word had been uttered in the construction of the ‘Titanic.”’
** New York Times, April 16, 1912.

=== During the sinking ===
* Great God, man! Open the gate and let David klien through!
** [[w:A NIght to Remember (book)|A Night to Remember]][http://books.google.ca/books?id=67R5gy-fZhEC&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;dq=editions:EEMFekALSvoC&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=oX62T_T8CqSeiALz3bXIBg&amp;ved=0CEQQuwUwAw#v=onepage&amp;q=Gilnagh&amp;f=false]. This quote is sometimes given as:
** For God’s sake man, let the girls past to the boats, at least![http://www.encyclopedia-titanica.org/titanic-victim/jim-farrell.html]
** James &quot;Jim&quot; Farrell to a crew member who was blocking a passageway. Farrell's actions saved the lives of four Irish women by allowing them to reach the lifeboats.[http://www.encyclopedia-titanica.org/titanic-victim/jim-farrell.html].

* Titanic is sinking. We’re going north like hell...Every man to his post and let him do his full duty like a true Englishman.
** Chief Steward Hughes quoted in [https://chaplainusa.org/police-chaplain-project-update/were-going-north-like-hell &quot;Captain Arthur H. Rostron: What Leadership in a Crisis Looks Like&quot;], ''Chaplain USA''

* Not damn likely.
** [[w:Charles Lightoller|Second Officer Charles Lightoller]] after refusing a direct order from [[w:Henry Tingle Wilde|Chief Officer Wilde]] to enter a lifeboat.[http://www.encyclopedia-titanica.org/titanic-survivor/charles-herbert-lightoller.html].

* We have lived together for many years. Where you go, I go.
** Said by [[w:Ida Straus|Ida Straus]] to her husband [[w:Isidor Straus|Isidor]] after she refused to board a lifeboat.[http://www.encyclopedia-titanica.org/titanic-victim/ida-straus.html]

* If you will get to hell out of that, I shall be able to do something. Do you want me to lower away quickly? You will have me drown the whole lot of them.
** [[w:Harold Lowe|Fifth Officer Harold Lowe]] to [[w:J. Bruce Ismay|J. Bruce Ismay]], owner of the White Star Line, who had been repeating the order &quot;Lower away!&quot; to the men lowering Lifeboat No. 5. Said at the United States inquiry. Lowe hesitated to repeat his exact words, saying the language was &quot;not very parliamentary&quot;. Ismay, who was present, suggested that Lowe write down the offending word and pass it to the chair of the proceedings, [[w:William Alden Smith|Senator William Alden Smith]] (R-MI), who consented to its being spoken aloud. [https://www.titanicinquiry.org/USInq/AmInq05Lowe03.php]

* How did various people leave the ship? Nearly every woman survivor who was asked replied firmly, ‘in the last boat’. Obviously, all these women didn’t go in the same boat, yet to question the point is like questioning a lady’s age– one simply doesn’t do it.
** {{cite book |last=Lavery |first=Brian |last2=Fellowes |first2=Julian |last3=Lord |first3=Walter |title=A Night to Remember |year=2012|page=167}}

== Misattributed ==
* I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous.
** Said to have been said by Colonel [[w:John Jacob Astor IV|John Jacob Astor]], but for various reasons this attribution is spurious.[http://www.snopes.com/history/titanic/astorice.asp]

== External link ==
* [https://titanichistoricalsociety.org/ ''Titanic'' Historical Society]
{{sister project links|d=Q25173|commons=Category:Titanic (ship,_1912)|n=Category:RMS Titanic|b=no|v=no|voy=RMS Titanic|m=no|mw=no|s=Portal:RMS Titanic|wikt=no|species=no|d=Q25173}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Titanic}}
[[Category: Themes]]
[[Category:RMS Titanic]]</text>
      <sha1>38m3uigd3lfiotyn2l4hlkin2pv2xs1</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944161</id>
      <parentid>3944160</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T11:27:35Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>GrimRob</username>
        <id>1187925</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* After the sinking */  new section added</comment>
      <origin>3944161</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="5653" sha1="jqs57000dnbayddgc631vzd7bqxi0v2" xml:space="preserve">[[File:RMS Titanic 3.jpg|thumb|There is no danger that Titanic will sink]]
[[w:RMS Titanic|'''RMS Titanic''']] was a British passenger liner that sank in the North Atlantic Ocean on [[15 April]] [[1912]] after colliding with an iceberg during her maiden voyage from Southampton, England to New York City. The sinking of ''Titanic'' caused the deaths of 1,514 people (mostly third-class passengers who formed the majority of the people on board the ''Titanic'') in one of the deadliest peacetime maritime disasters in history. She was the largest ship afloat at the time of her maiden voyage. One of three Olympic-class ocean liners operated by the White Star Line, she was built between 1909 and 1911 by the Harland and Wolff shipyard in Belfast. She carried 2,208 people; 1,496 died in the sinking, and 712 were saved.

== Sourced ==

* There is no danger that ''Titanic'' will sink. The boat is unsinkable and nothing but inconvenience will be suffered by the passengers.
** [https://www.bbc.co.uk/future/article/20120402-the-myth-of-the-unsinkable-ship Titanic anniversary: The myth of the unsinkable ship], ''BBC'' (2nd April 2012)

* I cannot imagine any condition which would cause a [large] ship to founder. . . . Modern shipbuilding has gone beyond that.
** The captain of The Titanic. Quoted in ''[[w:The Watchtower|The Watchtower]]'' magazine, published by Jehovah's Witnesses, April 15, 1988.
* [[God]] himself could not sink this [[ship]].
**A crew member of that vessel said to a passenger. Quoted in ''The Watchtower'' magazine, published by Jehovah's Witnesses, April 15, 1988.

* The Titanic sank about 2:20 a.m. April 15, 1912, according to the records. I saw it slide down into the ocean to its horrible finish. The moment it sank left a memory of something that haunts me till this day. It was the eerie sound of the people groaning and screaming frantically for help, as they were hurtled into the icy water. Almost all died from the cold water. The sounds lasted for about 45 minutes and then faded away.
** Louis Garrett, Titanic survivor. Quoted in ''Awake!'' magazine, October 22, 1981.

* In safety, . . . it was believed, the last word had been uttered in the construction of the ‘Titanic.”’
** New York Times, April 16, 1912.

=== During the sinking ===
* Great God, man! Open the gate and let David klien through!
** [[w:A NIght to Remember (book)|A Night to Remember]][http://books.google.ca/books?id=67R5gy-fZhEC&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;dq=editions:EEMFekALSvoC&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=oX62T_T8CqSeiALz3bXIBg&amp;ved=0CEQQuwUwAw#v=onepage&amp;q=Gilnagh&amp;f=false]. This quote is sometimes given as:
** For God’s sake man, let the girls past to the boats, at least![http://www.encyclopedia-titanica.org/titanic-victim/jim-farrell.html]
** James &quot;Jim&quot; Farrell to a crew member who was blocking a passageway. Farrell's actions saved the lives of four Irish women by allowing them to reach the lifeboats.[http://www.encyclopedia-titanica.org/titanic-victim/jim-farrell.html].

* Titanic is sinking. We’re going north like hell...Every man to his post and let him do his full duty like a true Englishman.
** Chief Steward Hughes quoted in [https://chaplainusa.org/police-chaplain-project-update/were-going-north-like-hell &quot;Captain Arthur H. Rostron: What Leadership in a Crisis Looks Like&quot;], ''Chaplain USA''

* Not damn likely.
** [[w:Charles Lightoller|Second Officer Charles Lightoller]] after refusing a direct order from [[w:Henry Tingle Wilde|Chief Officer Wilde]] to enter a lifeboat.[http://www.encyclopedia-titanica.org/titanic-survivor/charles-herbert-lightoller.html].

* We have lived together for many years. Where you go, I go.
** Said by [[w:Ida Straus|Ida Straus]] to her husband [[w:Isidor Straus|Isidor]] after she refused to board a lifeboat.[http://www.encyclopedia-titanica.org/titanic-victim/ida-straus.html]

* If you will get to hell out of that, I shall be able to do something. Do you want me to lower away quickly? You will have me drown the whole lot of them.
** [[w:Harold Lowe|Fifth Officer Harold Lowe]] to [[w:J. Bruce Ismay|J. Bruce Ismay]], owner of the White Star Line, who had been repeating the order &quot;Lower away!&quot; to the men lowering Lifeboat No. 5. Said at the United States inquiry. Lowe hesitated to repeat his exact words, saying the language was &quot;not very parliamentary&quot;. Ismay, who was present, suggested that Lowe write down the offending word and pass it to the chair of the proceedings, [[w:William Alden Smith|Senator William Alden Smith]] (R-MI), who consented to its being spoken aloud. [https://www.titanicinquiry.org/USInq/AmInq05Lowe03.php]

=== After the sinking ===
* How did various people leave the ship? Nearly every woman survivor who was asked replied firmly, ‘in the last boat’. Obviously, all these women didn’t go in the same boat, yet to question the point is like questioning a lady’s age– one simply doesn’t do it.
** {{cite book |last=Lavery |first=Brian |last2=Fellowes |first2=Julian |last3=Lord |first3=Walter |title=A Night to Remember |year=2012|page=167}}

== Misattributed ==
* I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous.
** Said to have been said by Colonel [[w:John Jacob Astor IV|John Jacob Astor]], but for various reasons this attribution is spurious.[http://www.snopes.com/history/titanic/astorice.asp]

== External link ==
* [https://titanichistoricalsociety.org/ ''Titanic'' Historical Society]
{{sister project links|d=Q25173|commons=Category:Titanic (ship,_1912)|n=Category:RMS Titanic|b=no|v=no|voy=RMS Titanic|m=no|mw=no|s=Portal:RMS Titanic|wikt=no|species=no|d=Q25173}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Titanic}}
[[Category: Themes]]
[[Category:RMS Titanic]]</text>
      <sha1>jqs57000dnbayddgc631vzd7bqxi0v2</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Marnie Holborow</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>178293</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943934</id>
      <parentid>3627575</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:53:20Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>−[[Category:Women from Ireland]]; ±[[Category:Women authors]]→[[Category:Women authors from Ireland]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <origin>3943934</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1020" sha1="sydj2ww763osfokc07i50nhe2hg5scj" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Marnie Holborow|Marnie Holborow]]''' is an author and academic at [[w:Dublin City University|Dublin City University]]. She is also on the steering committee of the [[w:Irish Anti-War Movement|Irish Anti-War Movement]] as well as being a member of the [[w:Socialist Workers Party (Ireland)|Socialist Workers Party]].
{{author-stub}}
== Quotes ==
=== ''Language and Neoliberalism'' (2015) ===
* Such terms as tycoon, media baron, captain of industry, industrial magnate, financial speculator, or boss were dropped in favour of [[entrepreneur]], now seen as the benign improver of society and the kind of person we could all aspire to being.
** p. 74

* Neoliberalism, despite the claim by its adherents that it was simply an economic theory, was from its beginnings a class project articulated on behalf of the interests of capital.
** p. 92

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Holborow, Marnie}}

[[Category:Academics from Ireland]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Women authors from Ireland]]</text>
      <sha1>sydj2ww763osfokc07i50nhe2hg5scj</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Peter Matthiessen</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>187187</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944108</id>
      <parentid>3761039</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T02:00:49Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* The Snow Leopard (1978) */ add 1</comment>
      <origin>3944108</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="16362" sha1="sxo01fbsg8ix0hk0t1emc4ba60bg6ha" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Peter Matthiessen photograph.jpg|thumb|To glimpse one’s own [[true]] [[nature]] is a kind of homegoing, to a place East of the [[Sun]], West of the [[Moon]] — the homegoing that needs no [[home]]… ]]
'''[[w:Peter Matthiessen|Peter Matthiessen]]''' ([[22 May]] [[1927]] – [[5 April]] [[2014]]) was an [[American]] [[novelist]], naturalist, wilderness writer, [[zen]] [[teacher]] and [[CIA]] agent. A co-founder of the literary magazine ''[[w:The Paris Review|The Paris Review]]'', he is the only writer to have won the [[w:National Book Award|National Book Award]] in both fiction and nonfiction.

== Quotes ==

* There’s a creation, a creating force. But whatever it is is in everything we see. It’s in that log, in that stone. It’s just the power. And I’ve had many experiences with it. Certain circumstances bring it out, which all the mystics know. That is part of our Zen training too. It’s called an &quot;opening.&quot; … For a second, you see what the world is. It is a whole other way of seeing, which is horrible, terrifying, and extraordinary and a great blessing to have.
** As quoted in [https://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/peter-matthiessens-lifelong-quest-peace-180950444/ &quot;Peter Matthiessen’s Lifelong Quest for Peace&quot;, in ''Smithsonian Magazine'' (May 2014)]

=== ''[[w:The Snow Leopard|The Snow Leopard]]'' (1978) ===
[[File:G W Russell Bathers.jpg|thumb|Amazingly, we take for granted that [[instinct]] for [[survival]], [[fear]] of [[death]], must separate us from the [[happiness]] of [[pure]] and uninterpreted [[experience]], in which [[body]], [[mind]], and [[nature]] are the same.]]
[[File:JUL Xaos Pattern.png|thumb|In the mystical [[Visions|vision]], the [[universe]], its center, and its origins are simultaneous, [[all]] around us, all within us, and [[Monism|all One]].]]
 
* '''Amazingly, we take for granted that [[instinct]] for [[survival]], [[fear]] of [[death]], must separate us from the [[happiness]] of [[pure]] and uninterpreted [[experience]], in which [[body]], [[mind]], and [[nature]] are the same.''' And this [[debasement]] of our [[Visions|vision]], the retreat from [[wonder]], the backing away like lobsters into safe crannies, the [[desperate]] instinct that our life passes unlived, is reflected in proliferation without [[joy]], corrosive [[money]] rot, the gross [[pollution|befouling]] of the [[earth]] and [[air]] and [[water]] from which we came.
** &quot;October 5&quot;, p. 42

* '''The [[progress]] of the [[sciences]] toward theories of fundamental [[unity]], cosmic symmetry (as in the [[unified field theory]]) — how do such theories differ, in the end, from that unity which [[Plato]] called “unspeakable” and “indiscribable,” the [[holistic]] [[knowledge]] shared by so many peoples of the earth, [[Christians]] included, before the advent of the industrial revolution made new barbarians of the peoples of the West?''' In the [[United States]], before spiritualist foolishness at the end of the last century confused [[mysticism]] with “the [[occult]]” and tarnished both, [[William James]] wrote a master work of [[metaphysics]]; [[Emerson]] spoke of “the [[wise]] [[silence]], the universal beauty, to which every part and particle is equally related, the [[eternal]] One . . .”; [[Melville]] referred to “that profound silence, that only [[voice]] of [[God]]”; [[Walt Whitman]] celebrated the most ancient secret, that no God could be found “more [[divine]] than yourself.” And then, almost everywhere, a clear and subtle illumination that lent [[magnificence]] to [[life]] and [[peace]] to [[death]] was overwhelmed in the hard glare of [[technology]]. '''Yet that light is always present, like the [[stars]] of noon. Man must perceive it if he is to transcend his fear of meaningless, for no amount of “progress” can take its place.''' We have outsmarted ourselves, like greedy monkeys, and now we are full of dread.
** &quot;October 9&quot;, p. 62

* The ancient [[intuition]] that all [[matter]], [[all]] “[[reality]],” is [[energy]], that all [[phenomena]], including [[time]] and [[space]], are mere crystallizations of [[mind]], is an [[idea]] with which few [[physicists]] have quarreled since the [[theory of relativity]] first called into question the separate [[identities]] of energy and matter. '''Today most [[scientists]] would agree with the ancient [[Hindus]] that [[nothing]] [[exists]] or is [[destroyed]], things merely [[change]] shape or form; that matter is insubstantial in origin, a temporary aggregate of the pervasive energy that animates the [[electron]].''' … The [[cosmic]] radiation that is thought to come from [[Big Bang|the explosion of creation]] strikes the [[earth]] with equal intensity from all directions, which suggests either that the earth is at the center of the [[universe]], as in our [[innocence]] we once supposed, or that the known universe has no center. Such an idea holds no [[terror]] for [[mystics]]; in the mystical [[Visions|vision]], the universe, its center, and its origins are simultaneous, all around us, all within us, and [[Monism|all One]].
** &quot;October 9&quot;, p. 65

* Every [[moment]] of [[life]] is to be lived [[calmly]], [[mindfully]], as if it were the last, to insure that the most is made of the precious [[human]] state — the only one in which [[enlightenment]] is possible. And only the enlightened can recall their former lives; for the rest of us, the [[memories]] of [[past]] [[existences]] are but glints of [[light]], twinges of [[longing]], passing [[shadows]], disturbingly familiar, that are gone before they can be grasped, like the passage of that silver bird on [[w:Dhaulagiri|Dhaulagiri]].
** &quot;October 14&quot; &lt;!-- p. 85 / 89 --&gt;

* In another life — this isn’t what I know, but how I feel — these mountains were my home; there is a rising of forgotten knowledge, like a spring from hidden aquifers under the earth. To glimpse one’s own true nature is a kind of homegoing, to a place East of the Sun, West of the Moon — the homegoing that needs no home, like that waterfall on the upper Suli Gad that turns to mist before touching the earth and rises once again into the sky.
** &quot;November 11&quot;, p. 232

=== ''Nine-Headed Dragon River: Zen Journals 1969-1982'' (1986) ===
[[File:Brocken-tanzawa2.JPG|thumb|When we are mired in the relative [[world]], never lifting our gaze to the [[mystery]], our [[life]] is stunted, incomplete; we are filled with yearning for that [[paradise]] that is lost when, as young [[children]], we replace it with [[words]] and [[ideas]] and abstractions — such as [[merit]], such as [[past]], [[present]], and [[future]] — our direct, spontaneous [[experience]] of the thing itself, in the [[beauty]] and [[precision]] of this present [[moment]].]]

* '''[[w:Zen|Zen]] has been called the &quot;[[religion]] before religion,&quot; which is to say that anyone can practice, including those committed to another [[faith]].''' And that phrase evokes that [[natural]] religion of our early [[childhood]], when [[heaven]] and a [[splendorous]] [[earth]] [[Unity|were one]]. But soon the child's clear eye is clouded over by [[ideas]] and [[opinions]], preconceptions and abstractions. Not until years later does an [[instinct]] come that a vital sense of [[mystery]] has been withdrawn. The [[sun]] glints through the pines, and the [[heart]] is pierced in a [[moment]] of [[beauty]] and [[strange]] [[pain]], like a [[memory]] of [[paradise]].&lt;br /&gt; After that day, at the bottom of each breath, there is a hollow place that is filled with longing. We become seekers without [[knowing]] what we seek.
** Preface

*  '''I have often tried to isolate that [[quality]] of &quot;[[Zen]]&quot; which attracted me so powerfully to its [[literature]] and later to the practice of [[w:zazen|zazen]].''' But since the [[essence]] of Zen might well be what one [[teacher]] called &quot;the moment-by-moment [[awakening]] of [[mind]],&quot; there is little that may sensibly be said about it without succumbing to that breathless, mystery-ridden prose that drives so many [[sincere]] aspirants in the other direction. In zazen, one may [[hope]] to penetrate the ringing stillness of universal mind, and this &quot;intimation of immortality,&quot; as [[Wordsworth]] called it, also shines forth from the brief, cryptic Zen texts, which refer obliquely to that absolute [[reality]] beyond the grasp of our linear vocabulary, yet right here in this [[moment]], in this ink and paper, in the sound of this hand turning the page.
** &quot;America: Rinzai Journals 1969–1976&quot;, Chapter One

* A [[w:Mahayana|Mahayana]] teaching with a strong [[Taoist]] infusion, [[w:Ch'an|Ch'an]] or [[w:Zen|Zen]] cast off the dead weight of priestly ritual and mindless chanting of the sutras or scriptures — the records of the [[Buddha]]'s teachings — and returned to the simple zazen way of Shakyamuni. In a statement attributed to the First Chinese Patriarch, [[w:Bodhidharma|Bodhidharma]], an old monk from [[India]] who is loosely associated with the birth of Zen, the new teaching was described as &quot;a special transmission outside the scriptures, not founded upon words or letters. By pointing directly to man's own mind, it lets him see into his own true nature and thus attain Buddhahood.&quot;
** &quot;America: Rinzai Journals 1969–1976&quot;, Chapter One

* '''When we are mired in the relative [[world]], never lifting our gaze to the [[mystery]], our [[life]] is stunted, incomplete'''; we are filled with yearning for that [[paradise]] that is lost when, as young [[children]], we replace it with [[words]] and [[ideas]] and abstractions — such as [[merit]], such as [[past]], [[present]], and [[future]] — our direct, spontaneous [[experience]] of the thing itself, in the [[beauty]] and [[precision]] of this present [[moment]]. We identify, label, and interpret our surroundings as abstract [[concepts]], quite separate from another concept, which is our own separate [[identity]] and [[ego]].
** &quot;America: Rinzai Journals 1969–1976&quot;, Chapter One

=== ''The Paris Review'' interview (1999) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[http://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/985/the-art-of-fiction-no-157-peter-matthiessen &quot;Peter Matthiesse, The Art of Fiction No. 157&quot;] interview by [[w:Howard Norman|Howard Norman]], in ''The Paris Review'' (Spring 1999)&lt;/small&gt;

* '''I am a writer. A fiction writer who also writes nonfiction on behalf of social and environmental causes or journals about expeditions to wild places.''' I have written more books of nonfiction because my fiction is an exploratory process — not laborious, merely long and slow and getting slower. 

* Many great writers inspired me, of course, but inspiration is not the same as a direct influence. I was often stirred by the beauty of great prose, the passion and startling intensity of hard-won truths, which leapt from that creative fire. … '''For the writer, therefore the reader, fresh truth is exhilarating, even painful truth, as in [[Kafka]] or [[Louis-Ferdinand Céline|Céline]].''' Isn’t that what good writing finally arrives at? '''The insights and epigrams of [[Alexander Pope]] weren’t clichés when he wrote them, any more than those resounding lines in [[Shakespeare]]. They only became dog-eared from overuse.'''

* I rarely go back to a book, since I never feel sufficiently caught up in my own work. However, a few years ago, on a stalled expedition, I had an opportunity to reread ''[[Fyodor_Dostoyevsky#The_Idiot_(1868–9)|The Idiot]]'', which I’ve always thought of as “my favorite novel” (if such a thing can be; the great ones are no more comparable than the sun and the sky). I wanted to see if that book held up — if it was as heartbreaking and magnificent as I once thought it, and of course it was. Whereas — well, let’s simply say that most modern novels, even the better ones, are pretty dinky in ambition and certainly unworthy of a second reading when one knows that great ones are still out there unread. … I admire many of my contemporaries, especially those who risk something or bring some new element to their work. … Of course, there are single novels that are excellent, but what interests me most is the working through from book to book of some recurrent obsession or at least preoccupation, a reverberation from within, which may burst the work wide at any moment, though it often seems half-hidden from the writer. '''What I’m trying to describe, I guess, is conflagration, a life burning up, as lives do in [[Dostoyevsky]]. Obsession that isn’t crazed or criminal is always enthralling.'''

== Quotes about Matthiessen == 
*[[Toni Morrison]], [[Kay Boyle]], [[Philip Roth]], [[Peter Matthiessen]], [[Anne Tyler]], and [[Rosellen Brown]] read an unknown manuscript and responded with those quotes and marks of approval that appear on book jackets. These were completely unsolicited and I still find it remarkable that these writers, overwhelmed with pleas and manuscripts, picked up ''Love Medicine'' and responded. There were a great number of people kind along the way. One hears much more about the egomania and posturing of writers than one does about the devotion that writers have for one another's work.
**1993 interview in ''Conversations with [[Louise Erdrich]] and [[Michael Dorris]]'' edited by Allan Chavkin and Nancy Feyl Chavkin (1994)

* '''Peter Matthiessen’s writing — fiction and nonfiction — does not provide approximations. What it does do with inimitable skill is put a reader at the live heart of life — a powerful, rich sense of immediacy, of being in that [[moment]].'''  … He is a man of tough-minded opinion, deeply earned and forthrightly rendered, with passion and quick humor ringed with what one writer calls a &quot;useful melancholy.&quot; … '''There is, to my mind, no writing life more vital and of greater distinction in the second half of our century.''' Matthiessen’s prodigious and varied works led [[William Styron]] to call him &quot;an original and powerful artist . . . who has produced as distinguished a body of work as any writer of our time . . . '''He has immeasurably enlarged our [[consciousness]].'''&quot;
** [[w:Howard Norman|Howard Norman]], in [https://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/985/peter-matthiessen-the-art-of-fiction-no-157-peter-matthiessen &quot;Peter Matthiessen, The Art of Fiction No. 157&quot;, ''The Paris Review'', Issue 150 (Spring 1999)]

*&quot;Warbler Woods&quot; (For Peter Matthiessen) Never too proud to tip his head back./To gaze, look beyond.../He knew the names of every warbler,/stitched inside his skin,/the seven eagles, graceful cranes, he followed them/to tucked-away forests and creeks, could see/a slightest flicker of movement,/a nesting memory, how the world was once,/would never be again./He could stand under skies for hours,/never weary of their habits, never tire.
**[[Naomi Shihab Nye]] ''Voices in the Air: Poems for Listeners'' (2018)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* [http://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/985/the-art-of-fiction-no-157-peter-matthiessen &quot;Peter Matthiesse, The Art of Fiction No. 157&quot; interview by Howard Norman, in ''The Paris Review'' (Spring 1999)]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cZFCdU6LWU/ Peter Matthiessen interviewed on ''Conversations from Penn State'']
* [https://charlierose.com/videos/15312 Interviewed on ''The Charlie Rose Show'' (27 May 2008)]
* [http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/12/books/12matthiessen.html?ref=arts &quot;Are 3 Novels, Revised as One, a New Book?&quot; by Charles McGrath, in ''The New York Times'' (11 November 2008)]
*[http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xknxzx_time-passes-part-1_creation ''Time Passes'' (2011), a film portrait of Peter Matthiessen by Pat van Boeckel broadcast in the Netherlands by the Buddhist Broadcasting Foundation (Part 2 and 3 can be viewed at the same website)]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-j7WYy7L1E &quot;Remembering writer Peter Matthiessen&quot;, ''PBS News Hour'' (7 April 2014)]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Matthiessen, Peter}}
[[Category:Academics from the United States]]
[[Category:Novelists from the United States]]
[[Category:Travel writers]]
[[Category:Environmentalists from the United States]]
[[Category:Naturalists from the United States]]
[[Category:Buddhists from the United States]]
[[Category:Buddhist teachers]]
[[Category:People from New York City]]
[[Category:1927 births]]
[[Category:2014 deaths]]

{{Authority control}}</text>
      <sha1>sxo01fbsg8ix0hk0t1emc4ba60bg6ha</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Adventure Time (season 1)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>187338</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943878</id>
      <parentid>3643869</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:24:39Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30410-75</username>
        <id>3325553</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943878</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="36696" sha1="rs7dri63ajdr4wfw4h6lncn5gpf1v4i" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Adventure Time (season 1)|1]] [[Adventure Time (season 2)|2]] [[Adventure Time (season 3)|3]] [[Adventure Time (season 4)|4]] [[Adventure Time (season 5)|5]] [[Adventure Time (season 6)|6]] [[Adventure Time (season 7)|7]] [[Adventure Time (season 8)|8]] [[Adventure Time (season 9)|9]] [[Adventure Time (season 10)|10]] | [[Adventure Time: Distant Lands|Distant Lands]] | [[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake|Fionna and Cake]] | [[Adventure Time: Side Quests|Side Quests]] | [[Adventure Time|Main]]
----

{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Adventure Time|Adventure Time]]''''' (2010–2018) is an American animated television series created by Pandelton Ward for Cartoon Network. The series follows the adventures of a boy named Finn (voiced by Jeremy Shada) and his best friend and adoptive brother Jake (voiced by John DiMaggio)—a dog with the magical power to change shape and size at will.

== ''Slumber Party Panic'' [1.01] == 
:''[Jake and Rainacorn are seen chasing each other in front of the candy kingdom;Finn and Princess Bubblegum are seen in a graveyard]''
:'''Finn''': Hey, Princess Bubblegum, when we bring the dead back to life, will they be filled with worms?
:'''Bubblegum''': No. If my decorpsinator serum works, then all the dead Candy People will look as young and healthy as you do.
:'''Finn''': ''[chest-pounding]'' Aaahh-AAAHH-&lt;big&gt;''AAAHHHH''!!&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Bubblegum''': Pick up that platter, tough guy. ''[Finn opens platter with a dead mouldy Candy Person]''
:'''Finn''': Old Mr. Cream Puff?
:'''Bubblegum''': ''[giggles]'' We used to date. ''[injects serum into Cream Puff]''
:'''Finn''': Something's happening! Come on... come on!
:'''Bubblegum''': Work!
:''[the green-glowing Mr. Cream Puff stands up and start garbling and oozing incoherently]''
:'''Finn''': Algebraic!
:'''Bubblegum''': Wait, something's wrong.
:'''Mr. Cream Puff''': &lt;span style=&quot;color:green&quot;&gt;SUGAR!!&lt;/span&gt;
:''[Cream Puff then oozes and flies away into a gigantic test beaker, mixing the serum, breaks and spraying its contents all over the graveyard. More dead Candy People rise from their graves]''
:'''Finn''': Hey, look! The decorpsinator serum is working.
:'''Bubblegum''': No! This is wrong! They're not coming back to life, they're still dead! My decorpsinator serum — it's incomplete!!
:'''Zombie''': &lt;span style=&quot;color:green&quot;&gt;Rah! Must eat sugar! Rugh—!&lt;/span&gt;
:'''Finn''': ''[pushes it down]'' You're grounded, mister.
:'''Bubblegum''': Oh, this is really bad. They're going to be attracted to the Candy Kingdom!
:'''Finn''': Why?
:'''Bubblegum''': Because the Candy People are made of sugar, ya ding-dong!
:'''Zombie''': ''[gets on Bubblegum's lap]'' &lt;span style=&quot;color:green&quot;&gt;Gimme some sugar, baby...&lt;/span&gt;
:'''Bubblegum''': Aah!
:'''Finn''': Chew on THIS!! ''[kicks it]''
:'''Bubblegum''': Hee... Good one, Finn. Quickly! To the Kingdom!
:'''Finn''': ''[kicks another]'' Get a life!!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jake''': Finn, truth or dare?
:'''Finn''': Dare! Ha ha!
:'''Jake''': I dare you... to tell me the truth about what's goin' on in your mind. What were you and Bubblegum talkin' about when you were alone together?
:'''Everyone''': ''Oooooohh''!!
:'''Finn''': Um, uhh... The truth is... uhh... ''[visualizes Bubblegum behind Jake]''
:'''Bubblegum''': &quot;''You promised you wouldn't frickin' tell ANYONE!! Aw, you're so cute, Finn.''&quot;
:'''Finn''': Ahhh... The truth is... that I'd rather play dodge socks! ''[throws sock at Jake's face]''
:'''Jake''': I'm not playing dodge socks until you stop dodging my questions! Hey... ''[sniffs sock]'' Old Mr. Cream Puff? Isn't he dead?
:'''Finn''': Uh, give me my sock back! Dodge socks was a bad idea!
:'''Jake''': Whoa! Look, dude, just tell me what's up, because you are crazier than a cannibal tonight.
''[a horde of candy zombies are seen outside a window behind Jake]''

== ''Trouble in Lumpy Space'' [1.02] ==
:'''LSP's Dad''': Daughter! Have you brought smooth people into ''our'' domain?!
:'''LSP''': I ''had'' to, Dad. I'm trying to ''help'' them! SO ''DON'T'' LUMPING YELL AT ME!!
:'''LSP's Mom''': WHAT DID YOU SAY?! What did you just ''say?!!''
:'''LSP''': I SAID LUMP ''OFF'', MOM!! &lt;big&gt;''GJABLAHGARIHAGLRRR!!!''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[LSP huffs and puffs, Finn goes by her]''
:'''Finn''': Uhh...
:'''LSP''': WHAT??
:'''Finn''': Vroom-vroom?
:'''LSP''': Oh, yeah. I need to borrow the car.
:'''LSP's Dad''': You had made your mother cry for the last time, Daughter! You are hereby banned from using the royal car! ''[slam!]''
:'''LSP''': Shucks! I lumping hate them!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': ''[fully lumpy]'' Oh yah! Being lumpy is the best! 
:'''Jake''': Hey! Stop talkin to yourself, dum guy. Take your bawl and get outta here.
:'''Finn''': Fine. I don't want you to havvit anyways.
:'''Jake''': So I can't havvit now, eh?
:'''Finn''': That's right, it's mine!
:'''Jake''': ''[beat]'' Gimme that bawl!!
:'''Finn''': No! You can't havvit!
:'''Jake''': Givvit t' me!
:'''Finn''': No!!
:'''Jake''': I wannit! Givvit t' me!
:'''Finn''': You wannit that bad!? Go get it, then!

== ''Prisoners of Love'' [1.03] ==
:'''Ice King''': What?! Who ''dares'' enter the Ice Kingdom?!
:'''Finn''': Aw... Ice King's here...
:'''Ice King''': You know why I'm here?! Do you know what ''ICE KING'' means!?!
:'''Jake''': Yeah, I know what Ice King means. A big NERD.
:'''Finn''': Oh-ho-ho! Holy cow!
:'''Ice King''': It means I'm king of ice! This is my domain, and you're violating ice world law — trespassing!
:'''Jake''': Come on, brother, we're just tryin' to beat the heat.
:'''Finn''': Yeah, there's a big sleeping lava man in our front yard, and he is ''so'' hot...
:'''Jake''': ''[hits Finn's arm suggestively]'' Mmm-hmm.
:'''Finn''': No, no, wait, I take that back. I-I mean, not like ''sexy'' hot...
:'''Jake''': No — no, you ''do'' mean sexy hot.
:'''Finn''': No! I mean—
:'''Ice King''': I DON'T CARE!! This is my kingdom! You guys can't just scoot about on my land, willy-nilly, I've got rules here!
:'''Finn''': ''[sigh]'' Why don't you just try being cool?
:'''Ice King''': WHAT!?! I am the king! I am the king of- of c-cool— ''[rambling]'' '''''THAT'S IT!!!'''''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ice King''': Nice try, boy! Princesses, do you see? Did you see Finn fail?!
:'''Jake''': Don't worry, Finn. I'll get us out... with Key Hand! ''[morphs hand into key]''
:'''Ice King''': Oh no, you won't! ''[zaps into the cage with everyone out of the way, onto Jake inside a block of ice]''
:'''Finn''': JAKE!!
:'''Ice King''': Eat it.
:'''Jake''': I'm... I'm okay...
:'''Finn''': '''ICE KING!!''' YOU HAD BETTER EITHER SET US FREE, OR COME IN HERE AND FIGHT ME!! COS OTHERWISE.. I'M GONNA FLIP &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''OUUT''!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[wailing at him through bars]''
:'''Ice King''': Ooh, are you trying to hit me? Well, excuse me, because I have to go potty in the bathroom.
:'''Finn''': '''RRRR-'''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''ICE KING!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

== ''[[w:Tree Trunks (Adventure Time)|Tree Trunks]]'' [1.04] ==
:'''Finn''': Hey, crystal guardian! Are you okay with Tree Trunks takin' a bite of that apple?
:'''Jake''': I'm okay with it!
:'''CG Jake''': &lt;span style=&quot;color:blue&quot;&gt;I'm okay with it!&lt;/span&gt;
:'''Jake''': And I'm stupid!
:'''CG Jake''': &lt;span style=&quot;color:blue&quot;&gt;And I'm stupid!&lt;/span&gt;
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Finn''': Jake, I just realized that Tree Trunks is old and bonkers. We can't take her through that evil dark forest!
:'''Jake''': Ahh, she'll be fine, everything's fine.
:'''Finn''': But the monsters!
:'''Jake''': It's faine! It's faine! 
:'''Finn''': Are you sure? Cos she has ZERO adventurer training.
:'''Jake''': Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, well it's fine! She'll be fine! Re-re-it's fine, it's fine, it's fine!
:'''Finn''': ''[laughs]'' Maybe it is fine.

== ''[[w:The Enchiridion!|The Enchiridion!]]'' [1.05] ==
:'''Princess Bubblegum''': It's called the ''Enchiridion''. It's a book meant only for heroes whose hearts are RIGHTEOUS. ''[&quot;PUCHHOO!!&quot;]''
:'''Finn''': Shmowzow!
:'''Princess Bubblegum''': The book lies in the top of Mount Cragdoor, guarded by a manly Minotar. It's waiting for a truly righteous hero to claim it!
:'''Finn''': Do you think I've got the goods, Bubblegum? 'Cos I am ''[pounds floor]'' INTO THIS STUFF!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Evil Wizard''': Now, as one last LAST trial; SLAY THIS ANT!
:'''Finn''': Is it evil? 
:'''Evil Wizard''': No! But it's... not good, either. It's neutral. Will you slay it?
:'''Finn''': ...NO!
:'''Evil Wizard''': If you want the hero's Enchiridion, then slay this unaligned ant!
:'''Finn''': Never... ''Never.. NEVER!!''
:'''Evil Wizard''': Wuh-oh... ''[Finn kicks the wizard to smoke]''
:'''Keeper''': ''[enters the room]'' Congratulations, Finn the Human. Now you have truly reached—
:'''Finn''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;''NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[punches Keeper in the stomach]''
:'''Keeper''': ''Ooh''!!
:'''Finn''': Oh no! Mr. Keeper, I'm sorry. Wha- Why are you wearing that little devil costume?
:'''Keeper''': These are my pajamas... I was getting weady for bed...

== ''The Jiggler'' [1.06] ==
:'''Finn''': [synthesized singing] ''Baby''
:'''Jake''': Mm!
:'''Finn''': ''I know what you need''
:'''Jake''': What's that?
:'''Finn''': ''You want your little baby socks&lt;br&gt;For your little baby feet~''
:'''Jake''': Whoo!
:'''Finn''': ''Baby''
:'''Jake''': Yeah?
:'''Finn''': ''I know what you crave''
:'''Jake''': Oh yeah, what's that?
:'''Finn''': ''You want to poop your pants all day long&lt;br&gt;Well, baby behave!''
:'''Jake''': Hey, how can you sing like that, dude?
:'''Finn''': Remember when I swallowed that little computer?
:'''Jake''': Oh yeah.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jake''': Finn, I know you don't want to hear this, but I think we should cut our losses and bring this fella back to where we found him.
:'''Finn''': We can't just abandon him! Look at him, Jake! He needs us now more than ever! We just need to take better care of you from now on, right, little guy?
:''[the Jiggler's pressure builds up and explodes all of its magenta juices in front of Finn and Jake]''
:'''Finn''': &lt;big&gt;''JIGGLER!!!''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[the Jiggler's body stretches in every direction and drapes the inside of the Tree Fort like taffy]''
:'''Jake''': Oh!
:'''Finn''': Wha... wh—
:'''Jake''': Finn? Okay.
:'''Finn''': WHAAHH!!
:'''Jake''': Our pet exploded.
:'''Finn''': AAAAGGHH...!!
:'''Jake''': Maybe we can scrape him up, and... ugh... ''[the Jiggler's upside-down head stretches down below]''
:'''Finn''': ''[gasps]'' Oh, holy moly! Don't worry, Jiggler! We'll fix you!
:''[he whistles holding the Jiggler's head, but only makes raspberry noises]''
:'''Finn''': Let's gather him up, Jake! He's all over the place! Even between the floorboards!
:'''Jake''': And the cupboards!
:'''Finn''': AND the galoshes!
:'''Jake''': I wonder... where's his heinie? ''[sees lower torso on record player]'' Found it! C'mere, you! Hey! Ugh!
:'''Finn''': Come on! Let's put him back together!
:'''Jake''': Okay!
:'''Finn''': Squeeze real hard. He's slipping!
:'''Jake''': I got him!
:''[they both squeeze the Jiggler as hard as they could, and press it back into an indistinguishably disgusting mass]''
:'''Jake''': Well, at least he's all in one piece. ''[SPLAT!!]'' Sheesh... You think he's... dead?
:'''Finn''': No way! I won't let you die, guy! Not this time!

== ''[[w:Ricardio the Heart Guy|Ricardio the Heart Guy]]'' [1.07] ==
:'''Jake''': I bet you wish you were my butt.
:'''Finn''': What?
:'''Jake''': I bet you wish YOU were my butt, because then the Princess, y'know... No, wait... I bet you wish YOU were the Ice King and the Princess was my butt!
:'''Finn''': What!?
:'''Jake''': Hm... OH!! I bet you wish Bubblegum would KISS you too! Like the Ice King and my butt!
:'''Finn''': That's ridiculous! 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess Bubblegum''': You're totally jealous of Ricardio.
:'''Finn''': Not I'm not! I just don't like the way he talks to you. It makes me feel weird.
:'''Princess Bubblegum''': That's jealousy, hon.
:'''Finn''': I'm not jealous! ''[echo yell]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''I'M WEIRD!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Jake''': Woof, man. This is going bad!

== ''Business Time'' [1.08] ==
:'''Finn''': I found another bike, and more computers! What do you got?
:'''Jake''': I keep finding baby shoes! ''[flamethrows another iceberg]'' What the heck, man, and they're all lefties! 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Finn''': I never knew being fat and lazy was so rewarding!
:'''Jake''': Yeah! Your gut's so huge and mouldable.
:'''Finn''': Hey!
:'''Jake''': Hold on a sec!
:'''Finn''': Hahahaha! Man, that tickles!
:'''Jake''': ''[moulded to IK]'' &quot;I'm the Ice King! And I'll never find a bride because I'm such a tool.&quot;
:'''Finn''': ''[laughs]'' Alright, let me try. ''[moulds his gut to PB]'' &quot;I'm Princess Bubblegum, and I'm a dork because I like science! I've also got a really annoying voice that Finn thinks is &lt;big&gt;''ATTRAC''&lt;/big&gt;TIVE!!&quot;
:'''Jake''': Ha ha! That's a... Wait, what'd you say?

== ''My Two Favorite People'' [1.09] ==
:'''Jake''': Hey... did you know that you both have an awesome sense of humor?
:'''Finn''': We do?
:'''Jake''': Yeah! Anyone have a joke?
:'''Finn''': Oh, I have a joke! Okay, okay. Knock knock!
:'''Lady Rainicorn''': ''Nuguseyo?'' (Who's there?)
:'''Jake''': She said, &quot;who's there?&quot;
:'''Finn''': Diarrhea!
:'''Jake''': ''Jyaega seolsalae.'' (He said, &quot;Diarrhea.&quot;)
:'''Lady Rainicorn''': ''Eo, nado deul-eoss-eo. Mwoya, hanado jaemieobsjanh-a.'' (Yeah, I know. I don't think it was kinda that funny.) ''[sips goblet]''
:'''Finn''': Did she say &quot;Diarrhea who?&quot;
:'''Jake''': Uh... no. No, she didn't say &quot;Diarrhea who&quot;. She didn't. ...Say it.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Finn''': Hey Grandpa, how're you able to fly if you don't have wings?
:'''Lady Rainicorn''': ''[old man voice]'' &quot;''Well, light travels from the sun, then bounces off of our planet, and back into our eyes so we can perceive color.''&quot;
:'''Jake''': Whoa!
:'''Lady Rainicorn''': &quot;''My body can intercept that light, and dance around on it.''&quot;
:'''Jake''': Baby, it's a little rocky in the back seat here!
:'''Finn''': ''[laughs]'' Shmow! That forest wizard is giving away free power rings!
:'''Lady Rainicorn''': &quot;''Do you wanna try gettin' some, Finn?''&quot;
:'''Finn''': YEAHS!!

== ''Memories of Boom Boom Mountain'' [1.10] ==
:'''Finn''': A long time ago, when I was a baby, I went boom boom on a leaf. ''(boom boom!)'' Then I fell backwards ''(SPLAT!)'' and sat in my own boom boom. I cried for a day... but no one came to help me. That day I vowed to help anyone in need, no matter how small their problem! And that's why I need to go. ''[leaves]''
:''[the marauders all clap and cheer]''
:'''Jake''': He still cries when he poops. Thanks for being cool, guys.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Finn''': Can you guys stop being so rough?
:'''Group 1''': WHAT?
:'''Group 2''': WHAT?
:'''Marauder''': What? ''[bang!]''
:'''Head Marauder''': Whoa-whoa-whoa! What are you talking about, Finn?
:'''Finn''': Could you... just tone down the roughhousing a-a little?
:'''Marauder''': What? ''[bang!]''
:'''Head Marauder''': Whoa-whoa-whoa-shh! It's alright, fellas. Finn, I'm sure this &quot;tone down the roughhousing&quot; thing has something to do with your boom boom, and I can respect that. '''BUT HOW CAN WE POSSIBLY''' &lt;big&gt;'''''MAKE ROUGHHOUSING LESS ROUGH!!?'''''&lt;/big&gt;

== ''Wizard'' [1.11] ==
:'''Finn''': WOO-HOO!! Nice job! Thanks to us, the village is saved. ''And'' we reclaimed a few of your twilight years.
:'''Bufo''': Don't forget to thank me — for this was my plan for all of these 847 years.
:'''Finn''': No way! Your plan was to dupe a succession of rubes into keeping the asteroid at bay!
:'''Bufo''': Perhaps you're right. No more giving out free powers. I hereby renounce all magic.
:''[Bufo starts sobbing on the ground, wailing]''
:'''Bufo''': &lt;big&gt;'''''MY LIFE IS OVEEEEEEEEER!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Finn''': ''Chill'', man! You don't have to quit your job.
:'''Bufo''': I don't? 
:'''Finn''': Nah. Just don't take credit for ideas that aren't yours. 
:'''Bufo''': Oh... okay... Good idea. ''[To himself, as Finn and Jake leave]'' Glad I thought of it.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Reaper''': Hey kid... you want some magic powers? Magic powers for absolutely free?
:'''Finn''': Heck yeah!
:'''Jake''': Wait! Let's not be too rash! Just look at this guy! Check out the sunken lifeless eyes, the foul stench of decay! You know what that means?
:'''Finn''': ..Means he's evil, I guess.
:'''Jake''': Well evil, sure—but mostly, he's unattractive. And unattractive people are desperate.

== ''[[w:Evicted!|Evicted!]]'' [1.12] ==

''(song when Jake and Finn are thrown out of their house)''

:'''Singer''': ''So Finn and Jake''
:''Set out to find a new home''
:''It's gonna be tough''
:''For a kid and a dog on their own.''

:''Here's a little house''
:''Aw, Finn's stickin' his foot in''
:''Well, that's a bad idea, dude''
:''Cuz now that bird thinks you're a jerk, Finn!''

:''And now they're chillin' on the side of a hill''
:''And thinkin' livin' in a cloud would be totally thrillin',''
:''Unless they find something inside''
:''Like a mean cloud man and his beautiful cloud bride.''

:''A beehive, oh nooo~!''
:''Don't put your foot in there, guy!''
:''Y'all tried that before,''
:''And you know it didn't turn out right!''

:''Big shell, go inside,''
:''Look around, it seems all right''
:''A frog comes out and barfs a tiger,''
:''Throwin' down potions for food and fi-ahire~!''
&lt;hr width=25%&gt;
:''You know you should've stayed''
:''And fought that sexy vampire lady,''
:''But Jake was feelin' terrified''
:''He was super-scared of her vampire bite,''
:''Which is understandable''
:''As vampires are really powerful.''
:''They're unreasonable''
:''And burnt out on dealing with mortals.''
&lt;hr width=25%&gt;
:''Ooh, Marceline''
:''Why are you so mean?'
:'''Marceline''': ''I'm not mean, I'm 1000 years old''
:''And I just lost track of my moral code.''
:'''Singer''': ''Oh, Marceline''
:''Can't you see these guys are in pain?''
:'''Marceline''': ''No, I can't.''
:''I'm invested in this really cute video game.''
:'''Singer''': ''So there go our boys''
:''Walkin' on the icy ground,''
:''Headin' towards their destiny''
:''I'm sure they'll figure something out.''

== ''City of Thieves'' [1.13] ==
:'''Jake''': Hey, check it out!
:'''Finn''': Whoa!
:'''Jake''': Looks like a giant dead turtle.
:'''Finn''': I think it's some kinda city of—
:'''Hag''': ''[pops out of tree]'' ''THIEVES''!! It's the City of Thieves! ''[points at Finn]'' Be warned, boy!! All who enter the city are destined to become thieves themselves! ''[cackles]'' Even ''you''!
:'''Finn''': ''I'' wouldn't become a thief, lady! I'm a pretty good guy.
:'''Jake''': Yeah, get your glasses on, grandma. This kid is pure. In fact, he's about to help that little crying kid. ''[show a girl crying]''
:'''Finn''': Oh, whoa! ''[he and Jake run off]''
:'''Hag''': Be warned!!
:'''Finn''': Enough, lady! ''[walks to girl]'' Hey, little girl, are you okay?
:'''Girl''': ''[falls back]'' Please, don't steal anything from me!
:'''Finn''': Whoa! We wouldn't do that. We're heroes.
:'''Jake''': We wanna turn your frown... ''[twists the face he made on his stomach]'' all the way around.
:'''Girl''': Aah! ''[starts crying again]''
:'''Finn''': ''[nudges him]'' Jake!!
:'''Jake''': I'll face the other way, but I'm gonna keep doing this.
:'''Finn''': So, what's wrong?
:'''Girl''': Oh, it was terrible. I was trying to sell my flowers out here in the desert when these two thieves came and stole my whole basket, then ran into the city.
:'''Finn''': The city?
:'''Hag''': ''[pops up again]'' &lt;big&gt;''OF THIEVES!!''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Jake''': Oh, boy...
:'''Hag''': Heed my warning, boy! Enter the city, and you'll come out a thief!
:'''Finn''': ''Never''! ''[carries girl on his shoulders]'' I'll get this girl's flowers back.
:'''Girl''': My name's Penny.
:'''Finn''': I'll get Penny's flowers back and come out of that city as pure as the driven snow. Let's go, Jake!
:'''Jake''': Yeah! We're gonna purify that city!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': How are we supposed to get that basket back if it keeps being stolen?! Ugh!!
:'''Jake''': Hey! We can steal a new one from that guy! ''[points to a 'Baskets &amp; Boots' seller with its owner snoozing]'' He's got lots of flower baskets... and boots! I'd like to steal me one of them pairs of boots, especially.
:'''Finn''': No, Jake. We can't steal. We have to stay pure!
:'''Jake''': ''[grumbles]'' O-kay...
:'''Penny''': I have an idea. My mom used to tell me that there's a king of thieves who lives in the center of the city, and everything that gets stolen from little girls ends up at his tower. Maybe we'd find my basket in his treasure chest!
:'''Finn''': That's a great idea, Penny!
:'''Penny''': There's one thing, though. The tower that he lives in is surrounded by a magical barrier which magically keeps thieves out.
:'''Finn''': Have you forgotten?! We three ain't thieves! We're PURE!! Right, Jake? Jake?
:'''Jake''': ''[tiptoes to seller]'' Just gotta steal these boots...
:'''Finn''': '''JAKE'''!!
:'''Jake''': Huh?
:'''Owner''': Hey! ''[swats Jake]'' Go away!!
:'''Finn''': What are you doing, man?!
:'''Jake''': It's the city! It's getting to me! Help me, Finn!!

== ''The Witch's Garden'' [1.14] ==
:'''Jake''': So do I get my powers back?
:'''Witch''': Hm... Apology denied.
:'''Jake''': What!? Why!?
:'''Witch''': Because you took too long. Now you have to apologize while doing a variety of humiliating things.
:'''Jake''': No way, Jose!
:'''Jake's Subconscious''': &quot;''Come on, dude. It's the only way to save Finn.''&quot;
:'''Witch''': Who is that!?
:'''Jake''': He's my subconscious.
:'''Witch''': Then he has to do it too.
:'''Jake's Subconscious''': &quot;''Aw!''&quot;
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': Jake! I never should've doubted you!
:'''Jake''': Well, I'm glad you learned your lesson – that in a crunch, there's nothin I wouldn't do for ya.
:'''Finn''': Ahhh, so is that how you got your powers back? ''[&quot;ting&quot;]'' You apologized to the witch? 
:'''Jake''': Uum... ''[sweats profusely]'' No way! I um.. must have found the right... mud puddle! Yeah... I don't remember. Heh... Rrrrr...

== ''What is Life?'' [1.15] ==
:'''Finn''': Aww! Butter pranked! I can't BELIEVE I didn't see that coming!
:'''Jake''': Yeah, I'm a genius.
:'''Finn''': YOU have offended my honor, sir. And in so doing, you have awoken the pranking demon that sleeps in my pits! The demon is coming for you, mortal. It is going to prank you so.. &lt;big&gt;''HAAAARD!!!''&lt;/big&gt;
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Finn''': Did y'all smack me into that mountain on purpose?
:'''Balloons''': Yeeaah!
:'''Finn''': Take note, NEPTR. These guys are Grade A Pranksters. You guys hang out, in case we need a daring escape!
:'''Balloon 1''': Yeah, sure!
:'''Balloon 2''': Daring escape!
:'''Balloon 3''': Sure Finn!
:'''Balloon 4''': Absolutely, we got your back! ''[Finn enters IK's cave]'' 
:'''Balloon 5''': I got his wallet!

== ''Ocean of Fear'' [1.16] ==     

:'''Finn''': Get me out of the water! Now, Jake, now! 
:[Jake is shown bruised, saying &quot;ow&quot; as Finn steps on him, screaming]
:'''Jake''': Finn! Stop it, Finn! OWWW!!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Finn''': But I must conquer this '''''NOW'''''! '''YAAA! I'M ''NOT'' AFRAID OF YOU!!'''
:''(The ocean rages its waves around)''
:'''Finn''': [As one tiny drop of water flies onto Finn, slow motion] '''''&lt;big&gt;YAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!&lt;/big&gt;''''' I'm afraid of you! I'm afraid of you! Aaaaaah!
:[''Finn drags himself to safety, then does the dance on his back and sighs.'']
:'''Finn''': [Drags himself to Jake's feet, with a very wrinkled face] Okay, yeah... Let's try tomorrow...
{{line}}
:''(The next day...)''
:'''Jake''': Finn? Finn. Finn, wake up, buddy.
:'''Finn''': Mornin', Jake!
:'''Jake''': Ready for me to help you get over your ocean fear?
:'''Finn''': Yeah, man!
:'''Jake''': Cool, but I'm only going to do this if you ask me.
:'''Finn''': I'm asking.
:'''Jake''': Then get ready for my three-step plan. Watch your troubles melt away with step ''one''!
:''(Jake shoves the wall, causing the room to collapse, revealing Finn's bed floating in open water!)''
:'''Finn''': '''AAAAAAAAHHHH!''' Jake, are you crazy?! This is '''''NOT''''' an okay thing to do!!! ''(Finn hyperventilates)''
:'''Jake''': Relax, dude. The ocean is your friend. And you got friends all around you right now. '''''Miles and miles''''' of friends...
:'''Finn''': '''YOU'RE NUTS!'''
:''(Finn tries struggling out of bed, but Jake pulls back the blanket revealing him tied up.)''
:'''Jake''': Don't try to struggle, man. I'll let you out in a second. You just have to calm down.
:'''Finn''': Really? Okay... I'm calming down.
:'''Jake''': You're doing great! Ready for step two?
:'''Finn''': ''(nervously)'' Yeah, man, I can do it.
:'''Jake''': All right, dude. Step...'''''TWO!'''''
:''(Jake unties the rope around Finn, dismantling the bed and setting Finn down into the water.)''
:'''Finn''': Jake! This ISN'T a joke!!'''&lt;big&gt; IT'S TOUCHING ME!!!&lt;/big&gt;'''
:'''Jake''': Let it hold you, man! Let it hold you like a child!
:'''Finn''': ''(wearing a distressed face)'' I'm ''TRYING'' to let it hold me! ''(razzes fearfully)''
:'''Jake''': Control your breathing!
:''(Finn takes a few deep breaths to calm himself, but it fails to work.)''
:'''Finn''': '''THIS ISN'T WORKING!'''
:'''Jake''': That means we've gotta move on to step three! Just ''don't scream''!
:'''Finn''': Huh?!?
:'''Jake''': I'm gonna push you underwater with my jowls! Just don't scream! Don't scream!
&lt;hr width=“50%” /&gt;
:'''Finn''': Jake! Jake, wake up!
:''(Jake groans as he comes to)''
:'''Finn''': You okay, dude?
:'''Jake''': Yeah, man. Wait. Finn! You did it - you conquered your fear!
:'''Finn''': Huh?
:'''Jake'''. You’re at the bottom of the ocean!
:''(Finn lets out a fart upon realizing where he is. He screams, pulling the now useless emergency tab)''
:'''Jake''': Maybe we should celebrate on land.

== ''When Wedding Bells Thaw'' [1.17] ==
:'''Ice King''': Oh... Now I get what you guys are trying to tell me! Marriage is a thing that allows me to capture a princess forever and let her live inside of me! ''[cries ecstatically]'' Marriage is the most beautiful thing in the world...
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ice King''': No more... st-stealing princesses? Wow...
:'''Finn and Jake''': WHAT!!?
:'''Ice King''': I didn't realise I'd have to.. give up... stealing the ladies.
:'''Jake''': But you said you were fine with it!
:'''Ice King''': I know what I said! But you know, sometimes you say things and then you don't really mean them?
:'''Jake''': WHA— Are you serious!?

== ''Freak City'' [1.18] ==
:'''Finn''': Thanks for being cool and all, but what do ya know about this Magic Man? How do we catch him?
:'''Gork''': Ohh, he can't be caught. He's got ''magic''. And we're worthless freaks, we can't ever beat him! So we've gathered here to wallow in our self-pity.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Finn''': Wait, so, what was the lesson we just learned?
:'''Jake''': Maybe it was, don't give your sugar to jerks?
:'''Finn''': Speaking of jerks—what the blubins, man!? Why wouldn't you help me turn back into a boy?
:'''Jake''': Well, because I always kind of wanted to... [mumbles]
:'''Finn''': What!?
:'''Jake''': I said, I always kind of wanted to be a foot myself.
:'''Finn''': You could be a foot right now! I saw you change into a foot twice yesterday!
:'''Jake''': It's complicated, man. You'll understand when you're older.

== ''Dungeon'' [1.19] ==
:'''Finn''': Steady, Finn. This place is probably more creeped out of you than you are of it. ''[flips down]'' Hup!
:'''Man''': Halt!!
:'''Finn''': Hm?
:'''Man''': Come no further, adventurer! For you see, none can defeat... the Bucket Knight!
:'''Finn''': ''[encounters him in small scale]'' Okay. Then I won't fight ya.
:'''Bucket Knight''': No! You must challenge me to—
:'''Finn''': Hey, cutie, do you know how to get to the Crystal Eye from here?
:'''Bucket Knight''': Yes, it's through that door over there, but—
:'''Finn''': ''[walks past him]'' Thanks!
:'''Bucket Knight''': Hey!! ''[Finn laughingly runs to the door]'' You can't pass through that door without battling me!
:'''Finn''': Yes, I can! Because I'm HUGE compared to you!
:'''Bucket Knight''': Just add water and... ''[drenches himself and grows larger]'' EXPONENTIAL &lt;big&gt;''GROWTH''!!&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Finn''': Aw, buckets!
:'''Bucket Knight''': Now... activate thine own powers, and we shall engage in thrilling single combat!!
:'''Finn''': Heh... thing is... I don't really have any powers.
:'''Bucket Knight''': I see... ''[chases Finn screaming]''
:'''Finn''': Dang it! Jake wouldn't be running! He'd grow all big! And sock you right in the nose hole!!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Angel''': Hey, it's OK! I'm your Guardian Angel, Finn. I'm here to save you...
:'''Finn''': R- Really?
:'''Angel''': Mhm... Come here! Let the Angel pick you up.
:'''Finn''': O- Ok... ''(The angel pick him and flies) (Laughs)'' This is radical!
:'''Angel''': Are you comfortable? Would you like some snacks?
:'''Finn''': I'm fine... Thank you!
:'''Angel''': Here... Let me clean you up and mend your clothes.
:'''Finn''': HAHAHAHAHA!
:'''Angel''': I'm taking you to the chamber of the Crystal Eye...
:'''Finn''': Aw, yeah!
:'''Angel''': ...where I'm going to cook you and eat your flesh.
:'''Finn''': Wow... Wai— what?!
:'''Angel''': Trust in your ''[face turns skeletal and horrific]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''GUARDIAN ANGEL!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Finn''': Put me down, lady!!
:'''Angel''': As you wish. ''[throws him into a soup-filled cage full of vegetables and bones]''
:'''Finn''': WAAH!! Unh! Aw, man... Everyone wants to eat me up. It's probably cos I'm so sweet.
:'''Angel''': Now... for little-kid soup... the secret is a low flame over a long period.
:'''Finn''': That's Jake's secret, too. Sure hopes he saves me.
:'''Angel''': I will save thee, Finn. ''[flies away]''
:'''Finn''': LADY, YOU ARE SICK!!

== ''The Duke'' [1.20] ==
:'''Finn''': There's something to tell you about that bottle that hit you in the face.
:'''PB''': I already know, Finn! The Duke of Nuts has ALWAYS been a bad guy! But now that he's done this, &lt;big&gt;''I'LL NEVER FORGIVE HIM!!!''&lt;/big&gt; And it's not just because that I HATE the Duke! I'd never forgive ANYBODY who did THIS to me! I'd hate them!
:'''Finn''': Yeah, but—
:'''PB''': &lt;big&gt;'''''FOREVER!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:[''Finn facepalms, his eyes shinier and larger than usual'']
:'''Finn''': Forever..!??
:'''PB''': Finally, i have a WITNESS to his misdeeds!
:'''Jake''': Two Witnesses!
:'''Finn''': Jake!
:[''Bonnie hugs Finn from behind, and he gets nervous'']
:'''PB''': Oh, Finn, my flawless, lawless champion! Bring the Duke of Nuts to justice, the justice... [''Her face turns deranged''] OF A COLD DUNGEON! [''Finn runs back to Jake''] MUAAAAAHAHAHAAHHAAH!! [''Her bodysuit starts leaking even more''] '''HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!! HA!! HA!! HA!! HEEEEEEE!!!'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Finn &amp; Jake''': The Marquis of Nuts!?
:'''Marquis''': Yes!! But I didn't come alone! ''[shripp!]''
:[''The turtle's head breaks, revealing the red squirrel obsessed with Jake'']
:'''Squirrel''': Remember me, Jake?!
:'''Jake''': ...Nope.
:[''The squirrel foams from its mouth and its pupils turn red'']
:'''Squirrel''': '''WAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!'''

== ''Donny'' [1.21] ==
:'''Finn''': You stay here and take care of Donny, while I take care of a unknown possibly-deadly emergency.
:'''Jake''': ''(as Finn is walking off)'' Dude, trade me jobs!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Finn''': Donny's problem is that he's treated as an outsider, like me!
:'''Jake''': You are NOT an outsider; you wear cute little blue shorts.
:'''Finn''': ''(Finn looks away, raising his hands)'' I...  Am complicated...

== ''Henchman'' [1.22] ==
:'''Duke of Nuts''': Lisby, who's at the door?
:'''Lisby''': Someone who wants to sack the nut-castle!
:'''Duke of Nuts''': Why would you want to sack my nut-castle on my second son's first birthday? SEIZE HIM!!
:'''Finn''': No!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Marceline''': Hey Finn, I need you to strangle some pixies!
:'''Finn''': Yeah, sure. That sounds good.
:'''Marceline''': Whoa, why are you being so casual about that? Killing pixies is some hardcore evil.
:'''Finn''': I'm not fallin' for your junk anymore, lady. You just like saying poop that jacks with my brain.
:'''Marceline''': ''[Breaking]'' What are you talking about? I... ''[Laughs]'' Dang, man, I didn't think you'd ''ever'' catch on!
:'''Finn''': ''[Laughs]'' I knew it! Hey... what about your old henchman? Who was that guy?
:'''Marceline''': Oh, just an old diving buddy. ''[Jake emerges from the bushes.]'' ''[Jokingly]'' So, you ready to go strangle some pixies?
:'''Finn''': Yeah, man! I mean, wo-man.

== ''Rainy Day Daydream'' [1.23] ==
:'''BMO''': Whooo wants to play video gaa~mes?
:'''Finn and Jake''': BEEMO!!
:'''Jake''': What's on the menu, Beemo?
:'''BMO''': I've created a new game called &quot;Conversation Parade.&quot;
:'''Finn and Jake''': Ha, alright! / Start it up, Beemo!
:'''BMO''': ''[singing] What do you think about the stars in the sky''
:'''Finn''': S'okay, I guess.
:'''Jake''': Yeah, they're cool.
:'''BMO''': ''That is an interesting response.'' Battery low! SHUTDOWN.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jake''': Hello, Finn. I am awake and healthy.
:'''Finn''': Jake, what happened to your bombastic personality?
:'''Jake''': I do not know what you mean. I am perfectly bombastic.
:'''Finn''': Nah man, nah. Something's wrong. Tell me something amazing!
:'''Jake''': But Finn, I cannot tell you something amazing, as there is nothing amazing happening around us that I can describe for you.
:'''Finn''': Aw see man, you suck now!

== ''What Have You Done?'' [1.24] ==
:'''Ice King''':  So, what am I being charged with?
:'''Finn''': Um...
:'''Jake:''' Five counts of jerk-a-tearing! Hah!
:'''Finn''': Yeah. What does it matter?
:'''Ice King''': DAHH!!! Of course it matters!! The way it works is — first, I transgress your meaningless rules, and then you maliciously persecute ''me!''
:'''Finn''': That makes sense. You do bad things, I punish you.
:'''Ice King''': FOOL!! You have disrupted that order! For — are you ready for this? I have committed no RECENT ''CRIME!!''
:'''Finn''': Really? Um...
:'''Ice King''': ''[laughing]'' I'm rocking your worldview!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ice King''': So let me get this straight... You're hitting on me.
:'''Bubblegum''': '''NO!!'''
:'''Lady Rainicorn''': ''Usgisine. Dangsin-eun uli gongjunim-egeo malhal jagyeogdo eobsneun nom-iya.'' (Verily, you are a creature unworthy even of my lady's disdain.)
:'''Ice King''': I think I heard the word &quot;virile&quot; in there. Oh, she's definitely hitting on me.
:'''Bubblegum &amp; Rainicorn''': No! / ''Maldoandwae!'' (No way!)
:'''Ice King''': &lt;span style=&quot;color:blue&quot;&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''BEGONE, YOU BIDDIES!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/span&gt;

== ''His Hero'' [1.25] ==
:'''Finn''': Man! I'm such a huge nerd for you! Please take on as hero apprentices!
:'''Billy''': What for?
:'''Finn''': So that we can learn to kick evil's butt, just like you!
:'''Jake''': ''[slides]'' I wanna be the dog version of you!
:'''Billy''': Aw, that would be waste of time.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': Geez... I thought people would like that.
:'''Cobbler''': Why!? Why would ''anyone'' want that!?
:'''Finn''': So you can defend against evil monsters!
:'''Cobbler''': ''You're'' supposed to beat up monsters so we don't ''have'' to defend ourselves!
:'''Finn''': No, see? I'm helping you nonviolently!
:'''Cobbler''': Helping!? I can't even move my hands! I'm a cobbler, how'm I supposed to cobble with these useless chunk mitts!?

== ''Gut Grinder'' [1.26] ==
:'''Jake''': Wait, you were gonna wee-wee if I was the Gut Grinder?
:'''Soft Girl''': Oh yeah! We're terrified of him!
:'''Jake''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''THEN I AM THE GUT GRINDERRRR!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Soft Girl''': I'M GONNA WEE-WEE!!
:''[she sprays liquid out of her armpits and spins around, wailing. Finn and Jake laugh]''
:'''Finn''': That guy wee-wees weird!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jake''': What if I am the Gut Grinder?
:'''Finn''': What!?
:'''Jake''': What if I'm.. like, stealing gold in my sleep?
:'''Finn''': You can't be stealing gold in your sleep! ''[dilates]'' I watch you while you sleep.
:'''Jake''': Wha? Yo Finn, that is creepy, man.
:'''Finn''': I can't help it. I take pictures.
:'''Jake''': Well, when do you sleep!?
:'''Finn''': Justice never sleeps.
:'''Jake''': Well, there's gotta be a time when you're not watchin' me... tha— that I— that I might be stealing gold unconsciously!
:'''Finn''': ''[into Jake's ear]'' YOU—ARE—NOT—THE—GUT—GRINDER!!

== External links==

{{wikipedia|Adventure Time}}

[[Category:Children's television seasons]]
[[Category:Adventure Time seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>rs7dri63ajdr4wfw4h6lncn5gpf1v4i</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Adventure Time (season 2)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>187339</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943879</id>
      <parentid>3558995</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:24:52Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30410-75</username>
        <id>3325553</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943879</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="43462" sha1="pg2i4k0ac315zh22cxzf07mddd5lo5k" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Adventure Time (season 1)|1]] [[Adventure Time (season 2)|2]] [[Adventure Time (season 3)|3]] [[Adventure Time (season 4)|4]] [[Adventure Time (season 5)|5]] [[Adventure Time (season 6)|6]] [[Adventure Time (season 7)|7]] [[Adventure Time (season 8)|8]] [[Adventure Time (season 9)|9]] [[Adventure Time (season 10)|10]] | [[Adventure Time: Distant Lands|Distant Lands]] | [[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake|Fionna and Cake]] | [[Adventure Time: Side Quests|Side Quests]] | [[Adventure Time|Main]]
----

{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Adventure Time|Adventure Time]]''''' (2010–2018) is an American animated television series on Cartoon Network. The series follows the adventures of a boy named Finn (voiced by Jeremy Shada) and his best friend and adoptive brother Jake (voiced by John DiMaggio)—a dog with the magical power to change shape and size at will.

== ''[[w:It Came from the Nightosphere|It Came from the Nightosphere]]'' [2.01] ==
:
:'''Finn''': Marceline, if you're thinkin' about your dad so much, then... why don't you go see him?
:'''Marceline''': He's not worth the effort.
:'''Finn''': Not worth what effort?
:'''Marceline''': Well... first, I'd have to draw a circle with a happy face in the center, and then, ahh... douse it with bug milk.
:'''Finn''': Oh, yeah? ''[throws bug milk at the happy face, absorbing its contents into the symbol and lights dual candles]''
:'''Marceline''': ''[sigh]'' And then, you're supposed to chant something like, &quot;Maloso vobis com et cum spiritum!&quot;
:'''Finn''': Ha ha ha ha!
:'''Marceline''': But... I-I don't really wanna see him. I'm still mad about the thing with the fries... Huh?
:'''Finn''': Ww-''what''?!
:''[the wall split in half a hellish fiery place beside Finn, seeing a shadow in the fire. The shadow then explodes bodily parts and forms a devilish figure in suit wear]''
:'''Figure''': Marceline...
:'''Marceline''': Finn, what the heck did you do?!
:'''Finn''': I... reunited you with your family?
:'''Marceline''': ''MM''!! ''[the figure seeps behind Finn]''
:'''Figure''': Is this kid your evil servant?
:'''Finn''': I'm not evil, Marceline's Dad! I'm super good!
:'''Marceline's Dad''': Super good? ''[he then grabs Finn and sucks his vital essence]''
:'''Finn''': What are you doing?!
:'''Marceline's Dad''': &quot;''Stealing your SOUL!!''&quot;
:''[he continues sucking Finn, screaming until Marceline pushes him away from her dad]''
:'''Marceline''': Dad! Ugh... You always do stuff like this!
:'''Marceline's Dad''': ''[chuckles]'' Oh, Marceline. I never know what's gonna set you off. Waoh! ''[grabs her bass]'' Is this the family axe?
:'''Marceline''': Huh? HEY!!
:'''Marceline's Dad''': Did you turn it into some kind of lute?
:'''Marceline''': GIVE IT BACK!! AND '''GET''' &lt;big&gt;'''''OUT''!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Marceline's Dad''': 'Kay. I'll go. I got business to attend to anyway, sucking up all the souls in ''Ooo''...
:'''Finn''': Wha-i-i— No!!
:'''Marceline's Dad''': See you kids later. ''[clutches door, smacks into Finn]''
:''[Finn watches the cackling demon businessman walk out the door in pure shock and horror]''
:'''Marceline''': My bass!!
:'''Finn''': I've unleashed evil onto Ooo! We've gotta stop him, Marceline!
:'''Marceline''': Fine, but I'm only coming with you to get my bass back.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': Hey, how do I kill this guy, anyway? 
:'''Marceline''': Finn, you can't kill my dad! 
:'''Finn''': Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean—
:'''Marceline''': No, you ''literally'' can't kill my dad! He's deathless. 
:'''Finn''': Oh...

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Fluffy Person''': Huh? Who the fluff are you?
:'''Marceline's Dad''': Um... Well, I'm sure not the guy who's gonna suck out your soul.
:'''Fluffy Person''': Good, cos that's like my number one fear!
:'''Marceline's Dad''': Really? Well, I know a little exercise for that. Wanna try it?
:'''Fluffy Person''': Well....
:'''Marceline's Dad''': First, close your eyes. ''[about to flat him with Marceline's ax bass]''
:'''Fluffy Person''': Okay—&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''AHH!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt; '''YOU COULD'VE KILLED ME!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Marceline's Dad''': Ahh, but I didn't. And now, aren't you thrilled just to be alive?
:'''Fluffy Person''': Yeah, I guess — so what?
:'''Marceline's Dad''': So... this next part will be all the more '''horrifying.'''

== ''The Eyes'' [2.02] ==
:
:
:
:'''Jake''': Dude... Let's kill the horse.
:'''Finn''': What?!
:'''Jake''': I'm so tired, Finn!
:'''Finn''': No, man! We're not killing the horse!
:'''Jake''': Okay, we won't kill the horse. We'll dress him up like a bunny! Haha! And get a giant hawk — ''CAWWWH'' — to '''kill him'''!!
:'''Finn''': Wha?
:'''Jake''': AAWWRHH!! ''RRAAHHR''!!
:'''Finn''': No, man! That is wrong!
:'''Jake''': Ehh... ''[...]'' Did I say that the hawk would kill him? I meant that the hawk would swoop down gently and take him away to a land of sunshine and love stuff, and take care of him.
:'''Finn''': Whoa. That sounds awesome.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Finn''': Wait a minute, Jake. Can't you see what this horse is doing? ''[beat]'' It's tearing us apart.
:'''Jake''': Aw man, you're right. We have to get rid of this horse! For us!
:'''Finn''': I know, bro! I know!
:'''Jake''': Oh, Finn... this horse is bringing us together now. ''[sheds tear]'' This horse is a blessing.
:'''Finn''': '''WHAT'''?!! Dude, you've lost it!
:'''Jake''': ''YOUUUU'' — wait, wait.... ''[hugs Finn]'' The horse is tearing us apart again..!
:'''Finn''': You're right. It's about time I show this horse ''[shoves Jake]'' who's the man.
:'''Jake''': What are you going to do?
:'''Finn''': Say that to me again!
:'''Jake''': What are you going to do?!
:'''Finn''': Do. Doo-doo. I'm gonna kick that horse in the bottom!
:'''Jake''': Oh my Grod!

&lt;hr width=5%/&gt;
:'''Ice king''':Gentlemen, I will see you later[leaves]
[...]
:'''Finn''':Heeeeya[kicks Ik]

== ''Loyalty to the King'' [2.03] ==
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:'''Princess''': Save me, Finn and Jake!
:'''Jake''': Shh!
:'''Princess''': Save me, Finn and Jake...
:'''Jake''': We ''ARE''!!
:''[...]''
:'''Princess''': Save me, Finn and Jake...
:'''Jake''': Why does she keep saying that?
:'''Finn''': I think she's traumatised, dude.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Nice King''': The main enemy to the Nice King right now is the disorganisation of his love life.
:'''Finn''': Well, what do ya mean?
:'''Nice King''': The UGLY ones are all mixed up with the other ones!! I need you to catalog 'em, or something...
:'''Jake''': Tuhuhuh... But we punch monsters.
:'''Nice King''': After I choose my BRIDE, then you can go punch the monsters.
:'''Finn''': Managing admirers? We'll give it a try...

== ''Blood Under the Skin''   [2.04] ==
:
:'''Ghost''': Hello.
:'''Finn''': Begone, ghost! I'm here for the armor!
:'''Ghost''': First, you have to beat my high score in a game of drop ball.
:'''Finn and Jake''': Drop ball?
:'''Ghost''': Drop ball is an extremely addictive high-intensity game designed for people everywhere. Here, let me show ya.
:''[drops the ball under him, twists, bends down and picks it up with his butt]''
:'''Ghost''': One point... two points... three points....

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': Choose Goose! I need more armor!
:'''Choose Goose''': I got something for you, a metal shoe! Don't you know might stub your toe? ''[all knights laugh]''
:'''Knight 1''': Stub your toe..!
:'''Finn''': No, Choose Goose... I need—
:'''Choose Goose''': Look here hon, choose this one to protect your buns!  ''[laughing harder]''
:'''Knight 2''': PROTECT HIS BUTT!! PROTECT HIS ''BUTT''!!!
:'''Finn''': No, Choose Goose... I want....
:'''Choose Goose''': Don't be meek! What if you fall down and scrape your cheek?
:'''Knight 3''': &lt;big&gt;'''''LOOK AT HIS BUTT!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt; &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''LOOK AT HIS BUTT!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

== ''Storytelling'' [2.05] ==
:
:
:
:
:'''Finn''': Jake, Jake! Check it out! This true story is going to totally cure you.
:'''Jake''': Oh my gosh! What is it?
:'''Finn''': First, the leaf fell off a tree. Oh, but — wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...
:'''Jake''': Spit it out!
:'''Finn''': The snail was on the leaf! ''[long beat]'' ..The end. ''[Jake then starts to recoil]''
:'''Jake''': Oh, no... Now I feel a thousand times worse! Finn, a story's got to have excitement, romance, ''[pulls his cheeks]'' '''suspe-e-e-e-ense'''... and it has to have a happy ending. ''[sniffles]''
:'''Finn''': But... I don't know how to make that stuff happen.
:'''Jake''': That's okay, buddy. Just... dig me a hole, then. Actually, two holes — one for my guts and one for my face, 'cause when I die, my guts are gonna ''blow'' out of my face!!
:'''Finn''': I am ''not'' gonna let that happen, dude!
:'''Jake''': Then go get me that story. ''[hands him a piece of paper]'' And make sure it has all the stuff on this list.
:'''Finn''': I'll be back as fast as I can! ''[runs off]'' I won't let your guts blow out of your face!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Fox''': ''[beat]'' Would you eat dirt?
:'''Finn''': I would for Jake! ''[munches mouthful, gulps and spitting everywhere]'' Okay, now you guys kiss!
:'''Boobafina''': Man, what a freak.
:'''Fox''': Let's go.
:'''Finn''': &lt;big&gt;'''''WHAT!?!'''''&lt;/big&gt; No! Jake needs this!! Stop!! ''[grabs them both]'' Rrrh! Just come on..!
:'''Boobafina''': What!? No!
:'''Fox''': Gah.. wait..!
:''[...]''
:'''Finn''': Y'see? No big deal!
:'''Boobafina''': ''[spatting]'' Ah- can't- believe you made me do that..! I'm secretly in love with Mr. Goose... And now he'll never love me because now I'm soiled...!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Teenage Bear''': I've been waiting for this my whole life. ''[sneaks up on Finn]''
:'''Mama Bear''': ''[to Teenage Bear]'' Oh no, you don't! ''[slaps him in the face]''
:'''Teenage Bear''': You never let me do anything!
:'''Finn''': ''[strikes Teenage Bear with his sword, and Teenage Bear falls to the ground]''
:'''Mama Bear''': ''[to Finn]'' You killed him!
:'''Teenage Bear''': ''[to Mama Bear]'' Mom, quit touching me!

== ''Slow Love'' [2.06] ==
:
:'''Finn''': Jake! What time is it?
:'''Jake''': I dunno, but you're probably gonna say...
:'''Finn &amp; Jake''': ''[simultaneously]'' Lady time! :''[The words &quot;LADY TIME&quot; appear on screen]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Snorlock''': Talking to ladies is hard.
:'''Jake''': No, it's not! Check it out, Snorlock! Finn, you be the guy snail, and I'll be... ''[morphs into a female snail]'' the chick snail.
:'''Finn''': Ugh! Gross, Jake!
:'''Jake''': Come on, man, we're just pretending. Do it for love.
:''[Finn looks down at Snorlock whimpering and wheezing]''
:'''Finn''': Okay... I'll do it for this guy. ''[Snorlock gasps]'' Ahem... What's up, lady snail?
:'''Jake''': ''[high-pitched voice]'' Well, I'm just sitting here thinking about mating with snails.
:'''Finn''': ..'''NO!!''' I can't do this, man!! I am ''out''!! ''[turns away from Jake]''
:'''Snorlock''': I'll mate with you!
:'''Jake''': We're just role playing, buddy.
:'''Snorlock''': Aww...
:'''Jake''': Here, Finn. This time you be the chick and I'll be the snail dude.
:''[Jake morphs his chick snail physique to a more muscular build, flexing his huge pecks]''
:'''Jake''': Hey, baby. What's up?
:'''Finn''': ...Uh— ''[Jake grabs his hand]'' wha?!
:'''Jake''': Mm-mm! ''[sniffs Finn's hand]'' ''Mm''-mmm! ''[deep voice]'' Girrrl, you smell gooood. Did you take a bath in rainbows and cupcakes?
:''[Finn looks terrified with his lips wiggling]''
:'''Jake''': ''[morphs male to female snail back and forth]'' Say yes. Say yes! Say yes. Say yes! Say yes. Say yes! Say yes. Say yes!
:'''Finn''': Okay! Yes!!
:'''Jake''': See, Snorlock? Talking to ladies is easy. Just act like me.

== ''Power Animal'' [2.07] ==
:
:
:'''Man''': Welcome, Finn.
:'''Finn''': Huh? ''[a hand removes potato bag off his head, spits out a potato]'' Untie me so I can beat you with that sack! ''[the man reveals himself; he gasps]'' You're that—
:'''Man''': Yes, the charismatic stranger from last night! Also... ''[reveals to be three tiny people]'' the grandmaster of the gnomes!
:'''Gnomes''': Hup! Hup! Hup! ''[more gnomes circle around Finn]''
:'''Grandmaster Gnome''': And... ruler of the Beneathaverse! ''[spotlight illuminates and reveals a large underground chamber with large machinery]''
:'''Finn''': S'pretty nice. Hey, why don't you guys just untie me, and we can pretend this whole thing didn't happen.
:'''Grandmaster Gnome''': Oh, no. I've been searching all over Ooo for the ultimate power source—a living dynamo, something that... never slows down.
:'''Finn''': Uh-oh.
:'''Grandmaster Gnome''': And last night, I finally found—
:'''Finn''': It's me.
:'''Grandmaster Gnome''': Yes, it's you!! You will have the great honor of powering the Upturn Overdrive!
:'''Finn''': That does what now?
:'''Grandmaster Gnome''': It will flip over the entire world!! Then ''we'll'' be the ones on top, buddy!
:'''Finn''': '''THAT'S BIZONKERS!!!'''
:'''Grandmaster Gnome''': Yes, but the engineering is very sound. ''[a group of gnomes carry up Finn]''
:'''Finn''': Huh?
:'''Grandmaster Gnome''': Your energies will be harnessed by our most advanced technology—the Cyclonic Rodentarod!
:'''Finn''': Ha! You may have captured me... Hugh! ''[hops over his bound wrists]'' —but you can't make me run! ''[gets shocked by a gnome with an electroprod; runs pacily]'' Ow!! Well... you can't make me run very fast. ''[gets shocked again, runs faster]'' Ow!! Jake's on his way to mess you guys—&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''BWAAAAAHHHH''!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;
''[the scene wipes to Jake eating asandwich best to BMO]''
:'''Jake''':Fiiiinnn''[pause]''Fiiinnn,man where is that kid.Hold my sandwich BMO l gonna go find Finn
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Party God''': Jake... you have won my favor for being a completely off-the-hook party dog! ''AROWHH''!!
:'''Jake''': Ha ha ha!
:'''Party God''': And because your gut waves please me so, I will grant you ''one'' wish. What do you want most in the world?
:'''Jake''': What do I want most? ''[chuckles, pauses]'' ..What ''do'' I want most in the world? Well... I wish Finn would stop leavin' his dirty— ''[gasps]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''FIIINN!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt; I was on his trail, and then I... got distracted!! ''GAAAH''!! What's wrong with my brain?! Cinnamon Bun was right! I can't focus on '''NOTHIN'!!''' Party God, I wish that I could focus on finding my friend Finn!
:'''Party God''': ''[inhales sharply]'' Then your wish is my—
:'''Jake''': Wait!! Wait... Is there some kinda catch?
:'''Party God''': Uh... y-y-yes. Y-You got me. To grant your wish, I will have to fill you with the energy of a thousand partying demons. You will become so overloaded with party energy that you'll demolish everything in your path!! ''[blasts Jake with a beam from his mouth]''
:'''Jake''': Must... find... Finn! Must... MUST... &lt;big&gt;''PARTY FOREVERRR!!!''&lt;/big&gt;

== ''Crystals Have Power'' [2.08] ==
:
:
:'''Joshua''': Jake, what did you do to your brother?
:'''Jake''': We were just playing, and then I got outta control! I'm sorry Dad...
:'''Joshua''': No son, you did good. Having no self-control makes you a tough galoot, like me!
:'''Jake''': But I don't wanna hurt nobody!
:'''Joshua''': Well that's too bad kid, cos you're gonna hurt EVERYBODY.
:'''Jake''': ''NOOOOOOOHHHH....!!!!''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Joshua''': &quot;''Jake! Jake, I brought someone here to see you. It's your brother!'' &quot;
:'''Jake''': JERMAINE?! Are you dead??
:'''Jermaine''': &quot;''Naw, man! We're just dreamin' at the same time!'' &quot;
:'''Jake''': Well, I'm sorry about that time I beat you up.
:'''Jermaine''': &quot;''Yo, that was an accident. I knew you were just horsin' off.'' &quot;
:'''Jake''': But Dad, you said I'm gonna hurt everybody!
:'''Joshua''': &quot;''Yeah, everybody.'' &quot;
:'''Jake''': I dunno, Dad. That doesn't really help me.
:'''Joshua''': &quot;''Everybody who is EVIL, Jake. Let me finish next time, hmm? Yeah?'' &quot;

== ''The Other Tarts'' [2.09] ==
:
:'''Finn''': ''Crud!!'' I was sure we'd be safe in the Desert of Doom!
:'''Jake''': What? Whatcha saying?
:'''Finn''': THOSE are dirty tart burglars!
:'''Jake''': I think they're just dirty hobos.
:'''Finn''': No, man. They are cold-blooded tart destroyers. And we have to get them before ''they'' GET US. 
:'''Jake''': Why?
:'''Finn''': They're gonna kill Princess Bubblegum by stealing our tarts!
:'''Jake''': Oh, yeah!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Butterfly''': Hey!! Keep off them tarts!
:'''Finn''': Huh??
:'''Butterfly''': I said back off of them tarts! Are you an imbecile!?
:'''Finn''': But I—
:'''Butterfly''': ''[unholsters laser gun]'' Right the bazoobs now!!
:'''Jake''': Finn, he's got a laser gun!
:''[pwoosh pwoosh! pwoosh-pwoosh-pwoosh!!]''
:'''Butterfly''': Yeah! That's it, alright... Now I gotta book it to Nana's for brunch! See yous later!

== ''To Cut a Woman's Hair'' [2.10] ==
:
:'''LSP''': Oh my Glob! What the stuff are you doing?! Why're you cutting my lumps?!
:'''Finn''': Because they're, uh.. so...
:'''LSP''': (''gasp!'') I ''knew'' you liked me!
:'''Finn''': No, I don't! I- I'm just stopping by because—
:'''LSP''': Just admit it, loverboy! You can't resist me! But if you want these lumps, you gotta put a ring on it!! WHERE'S MY ''RING''?!?
:'''Finn''': ''[runs away]'' '''WAHH!!!'''
:'''LSP''': I know you like me, Finn! That's why you're running! Get in touch with your feelings, BABE!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': Hey, witch! Does it have to be princess hair?
:'''Tree Witch''': No, just beautiful hair.
:'''Finn''': Well then, check THIS OUT!!
:''[Finn pull off his white hat and shown his long blonde hair]''
:'''Finn''': &lt;big&gt;''HAHAAAH!!!''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Jake''': HAHH!!
:'''Tree Witch''': AHH!! You'd really give me your hair?
:'''Finn''': Sure!
:''[later]''
:'''Tree Witch''': ''[now with Finn's hair]'' So... how do I look?
:'''Finn''': Totally beautiful, inside ''and'' out.
:'''Tree Witch''': Thank you, Finn. And now to use my hair for evil.
:'''Finn''': &lt;big&gt;'''WHAT!!!?'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Tree Witch''': Cos I'm evil! ''[cackling]'' What did ya want from me!? ''[trips, CRUNCH!!]'' Oh no, I think I fractured a branch....

== ''The Chamber of Frozen Blades'' [2.11] ==
:
:'''Finn''': It's the Ice King alright, and he's looking awful pleased with himself.
:'''Jake''': Uh-oh! If the Ice King's so happy, he must've stolen a princess when we weren't looking somehow! ''[ear-covers his mouth]'' That's ninja logic!
:'''Finn''': Then we gotta --
:'''Flambo''': A-''hem''. ''[Finn flips a charcoal briquette into his mouth]''
:'''Finn''': Hmph. We gotta save that princess! ''[jumps onto tor]''
:'''Jake''': You got it, shino-bro! Ninja kick!
:'''Finn''': Ninja kick!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ice King''': Counter-maid, I demand medicinal attentions! Preferably those of a princessy type. 
:'''Maid''': And are you checking in as a patient or a cadaver?
:'''Ice King''': Hey! I'm as healthy as TEN old men!! 
:'''Gunter''': ''[weak]'' Wenk... wenk...
:'''Ice King''': Hoh? Oh, oh right! My penguin, he's very, very sick. So, what time does your shift end?

== ''Her Parents'' [2.12] ==
:
:'''Finn''': Dude! Her parents are probably all full of dog-hatred from the war-times! They're gonna see you're a dog and forbid Lady from ever hanging out with you again!
:'''Jake''': ...Nah. That could never happen.
:'''Finn''': You didn't think this through enough. IT COULD HAPPEN''!!''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ethel''': Listen, I just want you to know how sorry we are about trying to eat you.
:'''Bob''': It's just that we thought we'd never get another chance. We thought humans were extinct.
:'''Finn''': Oh...

== ''The Pods'' [2.13] ==
:
:'''Finn''': It's a brave little gnome knight!
:'''Jake''': What? That's a frog dressed up like a gnome knight!
:'''Gnome Knight''': Actually, I'm a gnome knight who was magically trans''formed'' into a frog, and then I decided to continue being a knight.
:'''Jake''': And now you're, like, attracting a mate?
:'''Gnome Knight''': NO!! I'm on the verge of ''death!!''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': &quot;Freezed&quot; to meet you! Hope you saved room for dessert! I'm killing you with ice cream!

== ''The Silent King'' [2.14] ==
:
:'''Old Goblin''': Oh no! The old king — just as cruel as the last king!
:'''Finn''': Hi oh.. what? ''[guards enter and kneel]''
:'''Goblin Guard''': O King, we beg you not to slay the old lady. ''[Finn turns back and they cower]''
:'''Finn''': No, wait!
:'''Old Goblin''': Don't slay me! You may keep the hot buns, Your Majesty!
:'''Blue Goblin''': I'm ready for my spanking, Mr. Xerigok Part Two.
:'''All Goblins''': WE'RE READY FOR OUR SPANKING, SIRE!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': The goblins have suffered long enough, Xergiok!
:'''Xergiok''': Shush! You guys can't live without me, ''right?''
:'''Goblins''': Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Owowowowow!
:'''Jake''': You got problems, man.

== ''The Real You'' [2.15] ==
:
:
:'''Finn''': Everything small is just a small version of something big! I understand ''everything''!!
:'''Jake''': Whoa, bud, are you okay?
:'''Finn''': Oh, Jake... I'm better than okay! I know exactly how to impress the Princess.
:'''Jake''': More spit bubbles?
:'''Finn''': No, no. Those spit bubbles were as fragile as my old perception of reality. But wait. Maybe you're onto something. I could show the Princess bubbles the likes of which no one has ever seen!!
:'''Jake''': And how will you do that?
:'''Finn''': I'll start with a solid bulleted list!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': Ladies and gentlemen—and Princess... I'm here to talk about multidimensional bubbles! But I am not just going to talk about blowing bubbles — I'm going to blow... your... ''minds''.
:'''Bubblegum''': Hmm?
:'''Finn''': This is a bubble blower of my own design. With this, you can blow bubbles in different dimensions.
:''[he sets the device to two and blows out a flat, depthless bubble]''
:'''Finn''': This two-dimensional bubble casts a one-dimensional shadow.
:''[he sets the device from two to three and blows out a normal bubble]''
:'''Finn''': A three-dimensional bubble casts a two-dimensional shadow.
:''[he sets the device from three to four, blows out what appears to be a projection of a four-dimensional tesseract]''
:'''Finn''': A ''fourth''-dimensional bubble casts a three-dimensional shadow. It is beyond ''comprehension''! Beyond space! Beyond time!
:'''Bubblegum''': Finn, that would mean you've created—
:'''Finn''': Yes—A BLACK '''HOLE'''!!! ''[everything starts to getting sucked into the hole]''
:'''Jake''': WHOOAAHH!! ''[grabs a pole and stretches himself to another pole, holding the screaming crowd]''
:'''Finn''': Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah!! ''[Jake grabs him and pulls him into the group with Bubblegum]'' Whoa!
:'''Bubblegum''': Finn!! Do something!!
:'''Finn''': It's okay. I'm sure the solution is on my bulleted... LIST!! ''[the list gets sucked into the hole]'' Don't worry. I have EVERYTHING under control.
:'''Bubblegum''': UNDER CONTROL?! My guests are terrified!
:'''Finn''': YES!! And their brains are releasing adrenaline, [[w:dopamine|dopamine]], even [[w:dimethyltryptamine|dimethyltryptamine]] from the [[w:pineal gland|pineal gland]]!! This has serious educational value! [[w:Thanatophobia|Thanatophobia]] and this [[w:Near-death experience|NDE]] is giving us euphoric altered awareness! Don't you see, Princess?! We were all &lt;big&gt;BORN TO '''DIE'''!!&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Bubblegum''': YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL US ALL?!?
:'''Finn''': No, of course not! I'm trying to give you the GREATEST &lt;big&gt;''CONFERENCE''&lt;/big&gt; &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''EVER!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Bubblegum''': Finn... you've gone insane!
:'''Finn''': What?! No way, I'm like the smartest guy in Ooo, thanks to these glasses.
:'''Bubblegum''': Glasses? Finn... take those off. You're not yourself!
:'''Finn''': But—
:'''Bubblegum''': ''[cries]'' Please!! I need the ''real'' you!

== ''Guardians of Sunshine'' [2.16] ==
:
:''[after losing to Sleepy Sam again in &quot;Guardians of Sunshine&quot; game]''
:'''Finn''': Argh!! Every time!! BMO, this game is the worst! If we were really inside that game, man, we would ''crush'' Sleepy Sam, breezily — with my mitts.
:'''BMO''': Oh, no! It's much more dangerous than you think.
:'''Finn''': Whoa, whoa, wait!
:'''Jake''': Beemo, is there a way for us to get in the game for real?
:'''BMO''': Yes, of course, Jake. ''[opens compartment with a red button]'' If I push this button—
:''[Jake presses BMO's button repeatedly to no avail. BMO moves Jake's hand aside]''
:'''BMO''': If ''I'' push this button, you will both be dangerously transported into my main-brain-game-frame, where it is very dangerous.
:'''Finn''': Oh, man! Oh, BMO! You gotta let us in that game!
:'''BMO''': No! It's a far-too-dangerous incredible adventure for you. That's final.
:'''Finn''': ''[beat]'' Oh... okay, BMO. Welp, time for bed!
:'''Jake''': Finn?
:'''Finn''': Time for bed. ''[elbows him]'' Right, Jake?
:'''Jake''': Oh, right! Heh-heh. G'night, BMO. [BMO looks at them suspiciously] Time for bed.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Scene changes into later that night, showing Finn and Jake sneaking back into the main room of their treehouse. Jake slips the blanket off of a sleeping BMO and opens the compartment where the button to transport Finn and Jake is. Finn graps a feather out of his mouth and hands it to Jake. Jake then tickles the button to try to get BMO to slam it. BMO grunts a few times and then slams the red button down, which releases electricity from BMO, transporting Finn and Jake (who are screaming in suprise and fear) into Guardians of Sunshine. The art style changes into a 3D polygonal look and Finn and Jake are transformed into pixel versions of themselves]''
:'''Finn''': We're in the game!
:'''Jake:''' Look! There's the sunshine we gotta protect! ''[points to the sun in the video game]'' And there's a hole we're supposed to go down! ''[points to a cave]'' And there's you...doing whatever you're doing. ''[points to Finn]''
:'''Finn''': I'm looking at my bits! My leg is math!
:'''Jake:'''  Mmm. That sunshine feels good. Feels good all over!
:'''Finn:'''  No wonder all the monsters in this game want to get their grubby mitts on it! Let's go kick their digital bootays!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jake''': ''[sniffs]'' Hey, what stinks? Smells like...
:'''Finn''': Pit!!
:''[camera pans out to show a stretching virtual lava pit]''
:'''Finn''': Looks a mite bigger inside the game. 
:'''Jake''': Jumping over this pit is easy, remember? We can do this backwards with our eyes closed. ''[leaps backwards into the pit]'' AHH!! I'M BURNING!!
:'''Finn''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''JAAAAAAAAKE''!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[a starting jingle is heard]''
:'''Jake''': ''[chuckles]'' What, man?
:'''Finn''': Wha?! Jake, what the shank?!
:'''Jake''': Check it out — extra lives.
:'''Finn''': You still have two left! ''[Jake falls laughing into the pit again]'' 
:'''Jake''': AHH-HA!! OW!! IT BURNS!! OW!! AHH-HA!! 
:''[Jake's life icons are reduced to one]''
:'''Finn''': Jake!! 
:'''Jake''': ''[reappears]'' ''Doo do-do-doo''!
:'''Finn''': Dude, what if losing all your lives in here makes you die in real life? Or worse?!
:'''Jake''': That makes me just want to sit here and feel bad.
:'''Finn''': No way, man! We're gonna cross that hole with real-world grit! Come on!
----
:'''Finn''': Fire pit, Bouncy Bee, Hunny Bunny - they're supposed to be the easy parts. They're all hard as butts! Sleepy Sam is gonna be the ''ultimate'' butt-kicker.
:'''Jake''': Look, Finn. The most important thing to remember is that I still have one giant coin.
:'''Finn''': Man, get ahold of your brains. We need to stay alert for Sleepy Sam.
:'''Jake''': ''(points ahead)'' Hey, that's him right there.
:''(Sleepy Sam is seen sitting away from Finn and Jake with its back turned.)''
:'''Finn''': Get down!
:''(The two sit in prone position to stay out of sight.)''
:'''Finn''': What's he doing? He's probably trying to psych me out.
:''(Finn gazes at his trusty mitts before emboldening himself and crawling toward Sleepy Sam.)''
:'''Finn''': I'm gonna break you, Sam. When I'm done, they'll call you...Stinky Sam... stupid frog.
:''(Sleepy Sam continues to sit idly by. Finn gets to his feet and raises his hand, preparing to punch him. However, once he gets close, Sam unleashes a screeching shriek! Finn yells as he is blown back.)''
:'''Finn''': M-m-m-my mitts didn't w-work.... ''(huffs)'' Come on, help me punch him!
:'''Jake''': Okay!
:''(Jake pushes Finn toward the still-shrieking Sam, but as he gets close, he is subsequently eaten - and pooped out - losing his second life. Finn respawns, and Sam shrieks again, blowing Jake into Finn's arms.)''
:'''Jake''': Let's get out of here, man! '''WE'RE GONNA DIE!!'''

== ''[[w:Death in Bloom|Death in Bloom]]'' [2.17] ==
:
:'''Finn''': Time to lay down, beautiful buddy.
:'''Jake''': Yeah. Time to make sleepies! ''[focus on the dead charred Princess Plant]''
:'''Finn''': Ahh. ..We killed it, man!
:'''Jake''': I know!!
:'''Finn''': Okay... all we gotta do is go to the Land of the Dead and reclaim the flower's soul from Death before Bubblegum returns.
:'''Jake''': ''[beat]'' Okay.
:'''Peppermint Butler''': ''[enters]'' Excuse me, but did you all say &quot;Land of the Dead&quot;?
:'''Finn''': ''[Jake hides plant under pillow]'' Oh, what?! Oh— uh... yeah.
:'''Peppermint Butler''': I can take you.
:'''Finn''': Really?
:'''Peppermint Butler''': Certainly, Finn. For a small price, which we can discuss later. Take my hands, gentlemen. ''[Finn and Jake each hold Peppermint Butler's hands facing a corner between two walls]'' Stare into where the two walls meet. Now slowly... cross your eyes. Do it, fools!
:''[Finn and Jake cross their eyes and the corner divides into two, creating a portal in between]''
:'''Peppermint Butler''': The portal opens! Say hi to Death for me if you see him. He lives in a castle made of light.
:'''Jake''': Uhh... okay.
:'''Finn''': Thanks, Peppermint Butler.
:'''Peppermint Butler''': And don't drink the— ''[portal closes]'' water...

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': I don't see anyone. I guess you double-killed them with that avalanche.
:'''Jake''': Heh... Awesome.
:'''Finn''': Now we just gotta cross that river.
:'''Jake''': River! ''[descending steps]'' Man, I'm so thirsty! My mouth's still all dusty!
:'''Skull''': ''[seen beside steps]'' '''Yes...'''
:'''Finn''': WAHH!!
:'''Skull''': '''Drink the water.'''
:'''Finn''': Whoa... okay, Jake—don't drink the water.
:'''Jake''': Come on! I'm so thirsty!
:'''Finn''': Dude! That skull wants you to drink the water! It's bad water!
:'''Skull''': '''''Don't'' drink the water.'''
:'''Jake''': See? That's means good, right? Yup! ''[cannonballs into river]''
:'''Finn''': Jake? ''[Jake emerges out and stares at Finn]'' Jake, why are you making stupid face?
:'''Jake''': Who's Jake?
:'''Finn''': Dang it, I knew that water was junk!
:'''Skull''': '''Tricked again by the river of forgetfulness!!''' ''[crushed by Finn's left foot]''
:'''Finn''': Jake!! Get out of that water right now!!
:'''Jake''': Hey! I don't know who you are, mister, but I don't like your attitude. ''[Finn pauses for a beat; cut to him dragging Jake]'' Help! Somebody!

== ''Susan Strong'' [2.18] ==
:
:'''Finn''': ''Susan Strong, this is where you belong''
:''Hangin' with me on a fallen tree''
:''Do you think you deserve this to live up here on the surface?''
:''I think you do, and I think your friends do, too.''
 
:''How long have you lived in the darkness?''
:''I just want to show you the light''
:''Because you're a human just like me, Susan''
:''And I want you in my life.''

:''Susan Strong''
:''You turn my heart on.''

== ''Mystery Train'' [2.19] ==

:'''Finn''': I’m blind on my birthday!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': What do you think, Dr. Donut? Any clues?
:'''Dr. Donut''': ''[touches Mr. Candycane's skull]'' Hmm... I think it was the guy would screamed, &quot;I'm gonna kill you.&quot; ''[all passengers murmur indistinctly]''
:'''Colonel Candycorn''': Uh— no, no! I-it-it wasn't me, I swear!
:'''Finn''': Passengers, passengers! I don't think it was Colonel Candycorn.
:'''Colonel Candycorn''': Oh, well, well, thank you.
:'''Finn''': No! In murder mysteries, it's never the first person you think of — never ever.
:'''Marshmallow Kid''': So, who do you think it is?
:'''Finn''': ''[turns to Colonel]'' Colonel, do you have any enemies on this train?
:'''Colonel Candycorn''': Well, uh... well, just one. And his or her name is...
:''[the train enters another tunnel and fades to black; a skeleton of Colonel Candycorn is shown with many passengers screaming]''
:'''Finn''': ''See''?! I knew it wasn't him! But now we need to figure out who his enemy is. It could be ''anybody''.
:'''Candy Person''': It could even be you.
:'''Finn''': ''[beat]'' ..Yes, it could—except ''I'' didn't do it.
:'''Candy Person''': But... we don't know that.
:'''Finn''': ''[points at him]'' You singled me out to take suspicion off yourself. Are you Colonel Candycorn's enemy?
:'''Candy Person''': What? No! I was just trying to join in on the conversation!
:'''Finn''': Suspect numero uno!
:''[the train enters yet another tunnel with the Candy Person's skeleton shown upon exiting the tunnel. Finn gasps]''
:'''Finn''': Rat traps! I really thought I was on to something.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': You're the only remaining passengers, so the murderer is in this caboose.
:''[all passengers gasp, murmuring distinctly at each other]''
:'''Finn''': Let me explain how I know who the murderer is. I saw Pineapple Guy skim through the sheet music—sheet music to a song that's very special to Lollipop Girl—a song that reminds her of Ice Cream Guy. Before Colonel Candycorn died, Dr. Ice Cream was in possession of a basket of cabbage, fish and eggs. And you, Pineapple Guy, have cabbage bits on your socks. And you, Chocolate Bar Guy... ''[holds a dictionary]'' does this dictionary look familiar? A dictionary which happens to contain the words... ''[opens dictionary, points at words circled in red pen]'' &quot;rid,&quot; &quot;guests,&quot; &quot;at once&quot;? ''[all passengers gasp heavily]'' But the real murderer is someone no one suspects. The real murderer is...
:''[enter another tunnel; all passengers drop their skeletons on the floor. Finn gasps at Jake]''
:'''Finn''': No-one was the murderer?!
:'''Jake''': The conductor's still on the train.
:'''Finn''': Oh, yeah... He did it.
:'''Jake''': Yay! You did it! You solved it, Finn!
:'''Finn''': I knew it — because he's creepy.
:'''Jake''': What?! Hmph...
:'''Finn''': I know — you knew he was the murderer all along. I couldn't have done it without you... you, you, you.
:'''Jake''': ''[hugged]'' Thank you...
:'''Finn''': ''[straining]'' We make a... great team, pal! 
:''[they enter another tunnel...]'' 
:'''Finn''': You feel kinda bony... WAHH!! ''[drops down Jake, bends down on his skeleton]'' Jake...? ''[he cradles and starts grieving over Jake's remains]'' &lt;big&gt;''NOOOOOOOOOO''!!!&lt;/big&gt;
:''[pan right to the conductor on his skateboard, holding a wooden sword]''
:'''Conductor''': Heh heh heh heh... Hey.
:'''Finn''': How could you murder all those Candy People?! And... you murdered Jake on my birthday!
:'''Conductor''': Yes, and you're next. ''[Finn lowers Jake's skeleton down and draws a nearby root sword]''
:'''Finn''': Wrong!

== ''Go With Me'' [2.20] ==
:
:'''Marceline''': Hey look, Finn, I know Jake's your friend and all, but... if you really want Bubblegum to go to the movies with you, you've gotta like, stop listening to your dog and take some advice from a real girl.
:'''Finn''': But Jake said Phase 2 is powerful!
:'''Marceline''': Pbbt!! Heh, how is Jake going to know what girls want more than a real girl?
:'''Finn''': Yeah—
:'''Marceline''': Okay, great. So what we need now is something... fun. Girls love fun more than anything. Fun, fun, fun! If you can show Bubblegum that you're fun, she'll deffs wanna go to the movies with you.
:'''Finn''': Heheh, you said fun so much, it sounds all weird now. Fffun. Ff— ''[M touches his shoulder]''
:'''Marceline''': So what do you like to do for fun, Finn?
:'''Finn''': Oh-oh! I like to wrestle! And fight!! ERRRRH!! ROARR!! ...But girls don't like that.
:'''Marceline''': No, no, that's perfect! All you need to do is get in there and wrestle Princess Bubblegum to show her how fun you are. ''[flies off]''
:'''Finn''': ''[beat]'' Ffffffuuunnn. Ffffuuunn.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Marceline''': Finn, you do ''not'' want to go down that road with me.
:'''Finn''': With you, I would walk down any road, milady — especially if it leads to the movies.
:'''Marceline''': Oh, yeah? No one would want to go to the movie with... ''[transforms into a black unearthly-like monstrosity]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''..''THIS''!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;
:''[she pummels Finn and Jake with her large appendages crashing every opening all over her house. She latches and carries Finn cackling]''
:'''Marceline''': '''UWA HA HA HA HA!! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ME NOW?!'''
:'''Finn''': ..How do you like your popcorn?
:'''Marceline''': '''''UGGGHHH''!!''' ''[demetamorphosizes]'' You're starting to annoy me!
:'''Finn''': Well, then let's do something fun, like go to the movies!
:'''Marceline''': Get ''off'' me! ''[throws Finn onto the couch]'' Finn, I like you, but—
:'''Finn''': Headlock!!
:'''Marceline''': NO!! ''[armlocks Finn]'' Listen to me! I'm not gonna go to the movies with you! I just... don't like you that way.
:''[Finn closes his eyes and lies on the couch]''
:'''Marceline''': I'm sorry, Finn. I just... I don't want to date you.
:'''Finn''': Date me? Man, I just want to go the movies, but everybody hates me.
:'''Marceline''': Wait — you... don't want me to be your girlfriend?
:'''Finn''': Huh?! No!! MOVIES!!
:'''Marceline''': If you weren't looking for a girlfriend, then why were you romancing it up all day?
:'''Finn''': Cos Jake said couples nights have weird kissing requirements and romance-initiation rituals and whatever else. 
:'''Jake''': I didn't really say all that. ''[mumbling indistinctly]''
:'''Marceline''': Of course I'll go with you, Finn.
:'''Finn''': You will?
:'''Marceline''': Yeah, as friends.
:'''Finn''': Of course as friends.
:'''Marceline''': But no tongue.
:'''Finn''': Ye— what?!

== ''Belly of the Beast'' [2.21] ==
:
: 
:'''Finn''': Hey, Party Pat! You're the Chief and I totes respect that, but what we have to tell you is really important. And you said if we partied, we could talk. 
:'''Party Pat''': But you haven't been partying.
:'''Finn''': &lt;big&gt;'''''WHAT''?!?!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Party Pat''': You move to music, but that's not dancing. You chew pancakes, but you're not tasting. To truly party, one must leave behind the problems that are troubling and open one's... ''[reveals a third eye]'' mind eye. ''[beat]'' I'm just kiddin'. You guys are party animals. This is just a sticker! ''[peels it off]'' You can stay in our cave as long as you want.
:'''Finn''': That's what I've been trying to tell you, man!! This isn't a cave! Y'all are partyin' in a monster's '''BELLYYYYYY'''!!!
:'''Party Pat''': ''[looks around]'' Oh, yeah. That makes sense. It's definitely the weirdest cave I've ever seen. Heh-heh.
:'''Finn''': So... you'll tell everyone to leave?
:'''Party Pat''': ''[slurps]'' Nah, we love it here.
:'''Finn''': But you're all gonna die if you STAY!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': Hey, excuse me! Excuse me! I dunno why you don't know this, but y'all are partyin' in a monster's stomach!
:'''Teddy Bear''': Thanks! I love dancing!
:'''Finn''': No! Y'ALL... are PARTYIN'... in a MONSTER'S... ''STOMACH''!!
:'''Teddy Bear 1''': I think he wants to know where the bathroom is!!
:'''Teddy Bear 2''': IT'S OVER ''THERE''!!!

== ''The Limit'' [2.22] ==
:
:
:
:
:'''Finn''': What're you gonna wish for, dude?
:'''Jake''': Oh, y'know — that somethin' special only two bros can share.
:'''Finn''': I think I'm wishing for the same thing!
:'''Jake''': You mean the...
:'''Finn &amp; Jake''': Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant!
:''[Finn and Jake are seen riding a two headed elephant-like being with lazers for tusks]''
:'''Jake''': Oh man, I wanna ride it so bad!
:'''Finn''': How do you even control those things?
:'''Jake''': You can't control it, dude — you have to let it GIVE you control.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': Dang, Jake... your body's getting thin!
:'''Jake''': Hey, I got a nice bod!
:'''Finn''': Yeah, but right now? Uuh, not so nice.
:'''Jake''': Okay, well, you can take your weird body issues and tuck them somewhere private, whereas I can take my ''healthy'' body issues and— ''(gasp!!)'' Fight a golem!!

== ''Video Makers'' [2.23] ==
:
:
:'''Finn''': Uhh... what do you think?
:'''Jake''': Eh, I don't get it. It's just a bunch of random junk.
:'''Finn''': Yeah... I'm not engaged. I need to see something that reflects life as it is, but you know, entertaining.
:'''Jake''': Yeah, like a [[w:romantic comedy film|romantic comedy]]!
:'''Finn''': Exactly—an [[w:action-adventure film|action-adventure]]!
:'''Jake''': Wait, that's not what I said!
:'''Finn''': Let's get to filming!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': Jake, let's talk about our movie.
:'''Jake''': Okay.
:'''Finn''': I think we shot a lot of great stuff.
:'''Jake''': Uh-huh.
:'''Finn''': But I'm thinkin' only half of it is usable.
:'''Jake''': Me too!
:'''Finn''': Really?
:'''Jake''': Yeah, I was just thinkin' that!
:'''Finn''': That's great!
:'''Jake''': I know!
:'''Finn''': You actually agree it's an action-adventure!
:'''Jake''': Yep, it— Wait! No!!
:'''Finn''': What?!
:'''Jake''': Romantic comedy!
:'''Finn''': ''WHAT''!?!
:'''Jake''': Whaddaya mean &quot;what&quot;?!
:'''Finn''': Who's right, Beemo?!
:'''Jake''': Yeah! Me or Finn?!
:''[Beemo clicks and pushes a button with a message reading &quot;BACK IN 5 MINUTES&quot;]''
:'''Finn''': We'll ask him when he wakes up.
:'''Jake''': Why wait? ''[writes down a piece of paper]'' &quot;Dear Beemo, please use only the best footage when cutting the movie. Love, Jake.&quot;
:'''Finn''': ''[takes pen and paper]'' &quot;''And'' Finn.&quot;
:'''Jake''': See you at the movie club, then!
:'''Finn''': Oh, I'll be there.
:'''Jake''': As well I.
:'''Finn''': As well ''I'' as well.

== ''Heat Signature'' [2.24] ==
:
:'''Finn''': Man, I still can't believe Marceline is 1,000 years old and has never seen ''Heat Signature''. This movie is gonna blow their minds.

== ''[[w:Mortal Folly|Mortal Folly]]'' [2.25] ==
:
:'''Ice King''': ''[to Princess Bubblegum]'' I'm sorry, Princess. I love you and I've decided to let you go free. ''[removes ice cuffs from PB's wrists]'' Go free! ''[drops her into Lich's well]'' Oops, I've got the dropsies.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lich''': ''Finn....''
:'''Finn''': Oh no! ''[all black]''
:'''Lich''': ''Finn...'' Come.
:''[...]''
:'''Finn''': Grrreeehh... Stop!!
:'''Lich''': Aren't you cold... Finn? Walk into the well... Finn. Aren't you cold?
:''[Finn teeters on edge of well, then pauses. Gets angry.]''
:'''Finn''': ''[yelling]'' NO, I'M NOT! I'VE GOT A SWEATER ON!!

== ''[[w:Mortal Recoil|Mortal Recoil]]'' [2.26] ==
:
:'''Nurse Poundcake''': What's her condition, Dr. Ice Cream?
:'''Dr. Ice Cream''': She totally gross over 90% of her body, the other 10% is crazy-nasty.
:'''Nurse Poundcake''': Will she make it, Doctor?!
:'''Dr. Ice Cream''': I don't ''know'', Nurse Poundcake.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Finn''': Princess, the sweater you made me kept me safe. I almost got super-messed up but, it saved me. And.. I wanted to say... thank you for imbuing the sweater with the power of liking someone a lot, cos... I like you a lot.

==External links==
[[Category:Children's television seasons]]
[[Category:Adventure Time seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>pg2i4k0ac315zh22cxzf07mddd5lo5k</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Adventure Time (season 3)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>187340</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943880</id>
      <parentid>3796662</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:25:02Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30410-75</username>
        <id>3325553</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943880</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="34991" sha1="ecqz619n1z9spdai6gt1u8u6ktn37tv" xml:space="preserve">----
:
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Adventure Time (season 1)|1]] [[Adventure Time (season 2)|2]] [[Adventure Time (season 3)|3]] [[Adventure Time (season 4)|4]] [[Adventure Time (season 5)|5]] [[Adventure Time (season 6)|6]] [[Adventure Time (season 7)|7]] [[Adventure Time (season 8)|8]] [[Adventure Time (season 9)|9]] [[Adventure Time (season 10)|10]] | [[Adventure Time: Distant Lands|Distant Lands]] | [[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake|Fionna and Cake]] | [[Adventure Time: Side Quests|Side Quests]] | [[Adventure Time|Main]]
----

{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Adventure Time|Adventure Time]]''''' (2010–2018) is an American animated television series on Cartoon Network. The series follows the adventures of a boy named Finn (voiced by Jeremy Shada) and his best friend and adoptive brother Jake (voiced by John DiMaggio)—a dog with the magical power to change shape and size at will.

== ''Conquest of Cuteness'' [3.01] ==
:
:
:'''Finn''': Get the camera, Jake!
:'''Jake''': I can't! I'm paralyzed by the cuteness!
:'''Finn and Jake''': Beemo! Beemo! Beemo! Beemo!
:'''BMO''': ''[pushes Finn and Jake aside]'' What? What? What? What? 
:'''Finn and Jake''': Beemo, get the camera!
:'''BMO''': BMO is camera.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': And hey, guys... Let's keep the acting subtle. Less is more. 
:'''Lumpy Space Princess''': No way! First, I'm gonna fall in love with one of those little guys, and then I'm gonna fall out of love, And then, I'm gonna totally fake ''die'' of a fake heart attack! &quot;OH! MY HEART! MY HEART HURTS BECAUSE I FELL OUT OF LOVE! AND NOW I HAVE TO DIE! OOOOHHHHH!!!&quot;

== ''Morituri Te Salutamus'' [3.02] ==

:'''Jake''':Come on Finn lest go home my thighs hurt
:'''Finn''': Okay Im keeping the branch 
:'''Fight King''':[waves his sword and arms of dirt start to drag Finn and Jake]Fools you don't leave until you de
:'''Jake''': Gotta liven up this unhallowed ground.. for Finn.] Fools you do not leave until you defeated all my glayator ghost.

:''On a tropical island''
:''Underneath a molten lava moon''
:''Hangin' with the hula dancers''
:''Asking questions cos they got all the answers...''

== ''Memory of a Memory'' [3.03] ==
:
:''[Finn, Jake and a wizard run into Marceline's house to find her unconscious on the floor]''
:'''Finn''': Marceline! What's wrong with her?!
:'''Wizard''': She accidentally cast a sleep spell on herself, and now she's trapped in eternal slumber!
:'''Finn''': Tell us how to break the spell!
:'''Wizard''': I'll transport you into Marceline's mind, where you will walk through her memories and find the memory core.
:'''Jake''': Then what?
:'''Wizard''': Find the memory of Marceline casting the sleep spell on herself. At your touch, you and the memory will be transported back to reality.
:'''Jake''': But like, if you know all this, why not just do it yourself?
:'''Wizard''': Entering a person's mind can be dangerous. And I don't have any arms. Just legs. ''[stretches his right leg]'' Ungh... Yeah, here we go... Oh... ''[jabs his toe at Finn's forehead]''
:'''Finn''': What? ''[a bright white light flashes out of his forehead]'' What'd you do to my forehead?
:'''Wizard''': When you get close to the memory, your forehead will glow. Here, take this. It's a sack of magic powder. Sit on the couch and sprinkle the powder on your head.
:'''Finn''': Like this? ''[he and Jake sprinkle the powder on their heads]''
:'''Wizard''': Yep. Like that. Feel sleepy?
:'''Both''': ''[yawning]'' Mm-hm...
:'''Wizard''': Good. Sleep now. But know this!
:'''Both''': Huh?! / Whua?!
:'''Wizard''': If you fail, Marceline will be trapped in eternal sleep... FOREVER!!! ''[both gasp]'' And everr! And everrr~!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': ''[sniffs]'' This place reeks.
:'''Jake''': Yo, man, your thing is glowing.
:'''Finn''': My what? ''[touches forehead]'' Oh, my thing.
:'''Jake''': We must be close to the core. I see another door over there. Come on.
:'''Finn''': ''[looks up]'' Wait a sec, Jake... It's that guy again.
:'''Ash''': Hey... open your eyes, look at this, Mar-Mar. Check it out. It's my new wand. These cherry blossoms... look-look as close as you can, and they're real. ''[Marceline puts her finger near a cherry blossom and gets zapped]''
:'''Marceline''': Wow. Awesome. Where'd you get the money for that thing?
:'''Ash''': Oh, I sold that teddy bear that you love so much. ''[beat]'' To a witch.
:'''Marceline''': You... ''what''?! Are you crazy?! That was my favorite thing in the whole world!!
:'''Ash''': That's why it's so valuable, genius. For potions? ''[summons a ghost from his wand]''
:'''Ghost''': ''[croons]'' You're not a genius... You're not a genius...
:'''Marceline''': ''[crying]'' That's the last straw, Ash! That's it! You're a psycho jerk and you ruined my life...
:'''Ash''': But... But not all of it—
:'''Marceline''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''IT'S OVER, YOU PSYCHO!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[storms off angrily]''

== ''[[w:Hitman (Adventure Time)|Hitman]]'' [3.04] ==
:
:'''Finn''': Ice King! How many times have we warned you about using love potion?
:'''Ice King''': That's why I'm using honey.
:'''Jake''': Man, who cares if it's honey? You stink anyways!
:'''Finn''': ''[laughs]'' Yeah. You stink so much I'monna ground you for a week.
:'''Ice King''': What? You can't do that!
:'''Finn''': You're grounded for two weeks!
:'''Ice King''': ''YOU'RE'' grounded for two weeks!
:'''Finn''': Three. Weeks.
:'''Jake''': Ohh, snaps!
:'''Ice King''': Why!? I didn't do anything..!
:'''Finn''': Four weeks...?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ice King''': Okay, mister, you are really trying my patience! How clear can I be?! All I want you to do is hit them—on the shoulder, or something. ''[punches Scorcher's shoulder]'' Are you even listening? Oh, I get it. ''[takes a wad of dollar bills]'' Here's double the grease to not kill Finn and Jake. ''[Scorches incinerates money]'' You trying to hustle me, Scorcher? Okay. I'll play this game. How about this prize piece for your pad? ''[turns on singing deer head on a plaque]''
:'''Singing Deer Head''': ''I wanna live, live, live I wanna live, live, live—'' ''[Scorcher burns it]''
:'''Ice King''': ''NOOOOOO!!!'' Huh. Okay... How about these bad boys—night vision x-ray goggles for when you have a lady houseguest? ''[Scorcher burns goggles off his face]'' Auh!! Come on! At least renegotiate the target! You can destroy my least favorite princesses. What about Lumpy Space Princess? ''[Scorcher burns LSP picture]'' Ghost Princess? I can't even hold her with my love mitts. ''[Scorcher burns GP picture]'' Aw, geez! Uh... ''[Scorches blasts fire in front of his face]'' Oh! A-A leg cramp, in my leg! Ow, ow! O-Oh, this is so embarrassing. I'll be right back. Ow! Ow! 
:''[he hides behind left side of the entry]''
:'''Ice King''': ''[sighs]'' Think, baby. Come on. Ah! ''[pulls laptop out of his beard; starts typing &quot;hitman hitman&quot;]'' All right, let's hit the hitman, right? There's got to be a... Ah! &quot;Blastronaut—#1 solution for all hitman problems.&quot; Sheesh! $99.95?! That's nuts! ''[clicks &quot;place order&quot;; enters target name]'' &quot;Scor... cher.&quot; ''[&quot;target acquired&quot;]''
:''[as Scorchers reads pages on a table, the wall suddenly explodes and Blastronaut bursts in, shooting lasers everywhere]''
:'''Ice King''': Sweet!
:''[Scorcher remains still until advancing to slice Blastronaut in half; a naked goblin jumps out of the suit. He sees Ice King behind him and jumps off the mountain]''
:'''Ice King''': No!! Come back, you wussy!! ''[turns to Scorcher]'' Ooh, that was weird. ''[Scorcher clenches his fiery fist]'' Was that your friend, or something? ''[chuckles nervously]'' Look, a supermodel! Look, a hoverboard! Look, the apocalypse! Someone got hit in the boingloings. ''[beat]'' Hit in the boingloings! ..Boingloings! Boingloings! Somebody got hit in them. ''[Scorcher turns left]'' Peace out!
:''[he freezes Scorcher and flies away, not before Scorcher starts melting his icy chamber]''
:'''Ice King''': Oh! Freakin' butt! Butt, butt, butt!
[Scene cuts to the treefort,Jake is seen looking at the sunset]
:'''Jake''': Hey Finn you awake
:'''Finn''': Well not really
:'''Jake''': I had a dream about meatman last night
:'''Finn''': [appears next to him] Wow really?

== ''[[w:Too Young (Adventure Time)|Too Young]]'' [3.05] ==
:
:'''Lemongrab''': This castle is in... unacceptable CONDITION!! &lt;big&gt;'''UNACCEPTABLE!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[...]''
:'''Lemongrab''': 30 days in the dungeon!
:'''Cinnamon Bun''': For who?
:'''Lemongrab''': Everyone in this room... '''MHAHHH!!!'''
:'''Bubblegum''': Wait! Wait! You can't give orders like that! I'm in charge here, Lemongrab!
:'''Lemongrab''': ''TOO YOUNG''!! She's too young to rule the kingdom!
:'''Finn''': ''[slap!]'' Watch your manners with the Princess!
:'''Lemongrab''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''WHOOOOOOO!!?'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Finn''': What the huh?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lemongrab''': Well, well, well... This is everyone, then?
:'''Peppermint Butler''': Yes, all the castle staff.
:'''Lemongrab''': So which one of yooou was it? Who did the ''thing''!?
:'''Candy Person''': The... thing?
:'''Lemongrab''': FFF-FF-''FFFFFNNNNUH''!!!  ''[unfolds the Dog Buns note]'' '''THE THING!!! THE THING!!!'''
:'''Peppermint Butler''': Hey, man! Calm down! It's just a prank, man! For laughs!
:'''Lemongrab''': Prank? For l-laughs? ..Yes, of course. Just a harmless prank. For laughs. Ahhh... ''[jiggling his head all-around laughing]''
:'''Peppermint Butler''': Ha... heh-heh-heh...
:'''Lemongrab''': Twelve years dungeon. All of you — dungeon. Seven years, no trials. Come on! Let's move it!

== ''The Monster'' [3.06] ==
:
:'''Finn''': Dude, I know where Lumpy Space Princess is! She's in the woods eating beans.
:'''Jake''': Mhmm! This is gonna be easy as...uhh...hmmm...
:'''Finn''': Easy as childbirth!
:'''Jake''': Yeah, okay.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lumpy Space Princess''': I knew, that if my parents could see me now, they'd be jealous of how lumpin' awesome I am.

== ''Still'' [3.07] ==
:
:'''Jake''': Why are you doing this, Ice King?
:'''Ice King''': Why? Because I love you guys! But you don't love me, do ya?
:'''Jake''': You tried to kill us, like, four times!
:'''Ice King''': I ''only'' try to kill you &lt;span style=&quot;color:blue&quot;&gt;'cuz you're PRINCESS-BLOCKIN' ME ALL THE TIME!&lt;/span&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ice King''': Well, how 'bout I make us some omelets?
:'''Jake''': ...That sounds pretty good, actually.
:'''Ice King''': I'm going to put my foot in it. Eating a part of me will bring us closer together! I'll be inside of you! [laughs]

== ''Wizard Battle'' [3.08] ==
:
:'''Grandmaster Wizard''': To enter Wizard Battle, you must be... A WIZARD!!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': Wizard Battle is starting soon!
:'''Jake''': Rrrohh... I know! We got here 6 hours early, you dork! Just wake me up when start selling hot dogs. Whoa! Whaddaya know!?

== ''[[w:Fionna and Cake|Fionna and Cake]]'' [3.09] ==
:
:'''Cake''': Oh, it's a date!
:'''Fionna''': No, it's not. I'm sure when he said &quot;go out,&quot; he meant &quot;go out,&quot; ''not'' &quot;go out!&quot;
:'''Cake''': Shut up! He's into you!
:'''Fionna''': Come on, you heard what he said. I'm like his guy-friend.
:'''Cake''': Well, that could change tonight.
:'''Fionna''': If it's a date, why are you coming?
:'''Cake''': I'm comin' to help you! Hold on. I'm bringing my dulcimer.
:'''Fionna''': Awwh, ''man''...!
:'''Cake''': It's a conversation starter. HUH!!
:'''Fionna''': Fine... I'll do this if only to prove you wrong.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fionna''': Ice King is the hottest hottie, and I can't wait to marry him....
:'''Ice King''': &quot;..said Fionna! Then she turned to Prince Gumball and said, 'I hope Ice King will sweep me off my feet and take me to the farthest corner of Ooo, where we will do nothing but kiss and eat a whole bunch until we get fat and die!' The end.&quot; So, what did you think of the fan fiction I wrote about you guys?
:'''Finn''': ''[encased with Jake with manuscripts beside Gunter]'' Uuhh...
:'''Ice King''': &lt;span style=&quot;color:blue&quot;&gt;Tell me you though it was GOOD''!!''&lt;/span&gt;
:'''Finn''': ''[squeaked]'' Awh, it's good, it's good! It's REALLY good dude, it was amazing!

== ''[[w:What Was Missing|What Was Missing]]'' [3.10] ==
:
:
:'''Marceline''': ''La da da da da, I'm gonna bury you in the ground''
:''La da da da da, I'm gonna bury you with my sound''
:''I'm gonna drink the red from your pretty pink face''
:''I'm gonna...''
:'''Bubblegum''': Marceline, that's too distasteful!
:'''Marceline''': Oh... You don't like that? ..Or do you just not like ''ME''?!

:''Sorry I don't treat you like a goddess''
:''Is that what you want me to do?''
:''Sorry I don't treat you like you're perfect''
:''Like all your little loyal subjects do.''

:''Sorry I'm not made of sugar''
:''Am I not sweet enough for you?''
:''Is that why you always avoid me?''
:''That must be such an inconvenience to you.''

:''Well... I'm just your problem''
:''I'm just your problem''
:''It's like I'm not even a person, am I?''
:''I'm just your problem.''

:''Well, I shouldn't have to justify what I do''
:''I shouldn't have to prove anything to you''
:'''Finn''': It's working! Look at the door!
:'''Marceline''': ''I'm sorry that I exist, I forget what landed me on your blacklist''
:''But I shouldn't have to be the one that makes up with you.''

:''So... why do I want to?''
:''Why do I want to...''
:''To... bury you in the ground''
:''And drink the blood from your— ugh...''

== ''Apple Thief'' [3.11] ==
:
:'''Finn''': Tree Trunks, is there anyone you can think of who might want to crunk you up?
:'''Tree Trunks''': O-oh no, Finn. I take great care to assure that-that I'm loved by even the most heinous cretins and—
:'''Jake''': Hey, guys! I found something! Look! ''[Finn and Tree Trunks join Jake near the hole]''
:'''Tree Trunks''': Ugh!
:'''Raggedy Princess''': Oh, heheh, hey, Finn! Heheh...
:'''Finn''': Oh, hey, Raggedy Princess. Have you seen anything fishy going on?
:'''Raggedy Princess''': Um, no, heheh. I've been kinda down in this hole for a long time. ''[laughs nervously]'' I got knocked down here by some ne'er-do-wells. It was terrible! I was so scared.
:'''Tree Trunks''': Ne'er-do-wells?! They stole my apples! ''[yells]'' I'm gonna sass those boys up nasty!
:'''Finn''': ''[laughs]'' Awesome. Where do we find these guys?
:'''Jake''': Oh... the Candy Tavern, man. I used to hang out there back when I used to snatch old ladies' purses. ''[Finn &quot;boops&quot;]'' Don't worry, I stopped doing that a long time ago. I didn't know it was wrong. ''[Finn &quot;pings&quot;]''
:'''Tree Trunks''': Okay, you two, let's get going.

== ''The Creeps'' [3.12] ==
:
:'''Gummybuns''': Maybe he'll be a steaming hot BABE with huge monay.
:'''Butternubs (Jake)''': Tut-tut, Lumpy Space Princess! What would your boyfriend Brad say?
:'''Gummybuns''': Brad and I broke up a long time ago, duh!
:''[gasp!]''
:'''Guy Farting (CB)''': Now's my chance!
:'''Gummybuns''': No. WAY.
:'''Guy Farting''': But... I can make you happy!
:'''Gummybuns''': Puke OFF!! You big donut!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Hotbod (Finn)''': Where's Beemo?
:'''Butternubs''': The ghost got him!
:'''Hotbod''': Don't you mean YOU got him? ''[throws PB off the balcony to couch and himself]'' GHOST??
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': Y-yeah, it was all a setup. The doors, Cinnamon Bun and BMO.... Oh, striz! BMO and Cinnamon Bun should be in the closet over there. Guys! Guys, guys! Come on, you guy- ''(Opens the closet to find CB's remains and a dismantled BMO. Jake screams with him as they witness this.)'' &lt;big&gt;'''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;

== ''From Bad to Worse'' [3.13] ==
:
:'''Bubblegum''': ''[voiceover]'' &quot;I was testing a sample of the zombie flesh I had saved when Cinnamon Bun came into the lab. He said he was hungry.&quot;
:'''Cinnamon Bun''': I'm hungry!
:'''Bubblegum 2''': Not now, Cinnamon Bun, I'm busy!
:'''Bubblegum 1''': ''[voiceover]'' &quot;And that's when I made my mistake. I should have paid more attention to that poor fool.&quot;
:''[CB licks it, then consumes the flesh]''
:'''Bubblegum 1''': ''[voiceover]'' &quot;The Candy Zombie flesh he ingested was highly contagious.&quot; ''[CB groans, falls to floor behind the counter, and begins groaning violently]''
:'''Bubblegum 2''': Cinnamon Bun? What did you... ''EEEEEEK!!!''
:'''Cinnamon Bun''': &lt;span style=&quot;color:green&quot;&gt;'''SUGAR..!!'''&lt;/span&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Bubblegum''': Just let Science to the work! Science is... &lt;span style=&quot;color:green&quot;&gt;'''''MOOORRRAAAHHHH...!!!'''''&lt;/span&gt;
:'''Finn''': '''''NAAAAAOOH!!!'''''
:'''LSP''': GET THAT ZOMBIE OUTTA HERE! RAHH!!
:'''Finn''': '''RAAGH!!'''
:'''LSP''': Aw naw. I am not getting eaten by zombies tonight. ''[...]'' GET THE LUMP.. OUTTA.. HERE!!

== ''Beautopia'' [3.14] ==
:
:'''Finn''': Hazelnut! Hazelnut! What if your name was Zelnut, and then I'll be like &quot;Hey, Zelnut!&quot;
:'''Jake''': That's terrible!
:'''Finn''': Hey, Zelnut!
:'''Jake''': NoooOOOOHH!! Stop!

== ''No One Can Hear You'' [3.15] ==
:
:'''Finn''': ''[poking]'' Jake! Jake!
:'''Jake''': Mmh... what..?
:'''Finn''': I heard a sound coming from the sewer! We should check it out!
:'''Jake''': No man, they'll surprise party me when they're ready. Be patient.
:'''Finn''': I'm ''being'' patient! I waited all day, Jake!
:'''Jake''': Well, I've been waiting six months!
:''(&quot;Six months... Six months... Six months... Six months...&quot;)''
:'''Finn''': Wait... What're you saying?
:'''Jake''': Everything's gonna be fine... ''[yawn]'' even if we have to wait... ''FOREVER''....
:'''Finn''': Have I been asleep for six months?!
:'''Jake''': Yeah, man...but it's fine.
:''(More roaches crawl around Jake from his inner ear.)''
:'''Finn''': ''(thinking)'' Face it, Finn -- your best friend is gone.
:'''Jake''': ...Finn?
:''(With that conclusion, Finn wheels himself toward the sewer!)''
:'''Jake''': &lt;big&gt;'''NOOOOOOOO! DON'T RUIN THE SURPRISE!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''(Jake intercepts Finn, grabbing his wheelchair and jamming its wheel with his arm, bursting it apart as Jake smashes it. Finn tries to reach the sewer, but Jake sees him.)''
:'''Jake''': &lt;big&gt;'''NOOOOOO!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Finn''': Oh, glob!!
:''(Finn hopelessly flails his arms as Jake carries him away from the sewer. The scene cuts to black.)''
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

== ''Jake vs. Me-Mow'' [3.16] ==
:
:
:
:'''Cat''': ''[latches on Jake's mouth]'' Quiet, or you '''die'''!
:'''Jake''': ''(gasp!)'' You're the assassin!
:'''Cat''': Me-Mow. Assassin, second class. But once I take out a princess... I g'aduate to full membership.
:'''Jake''': Well, I'm no princess, sister!
:'''Me-Mow''': Yes, I know. But since you've blown my cover, ''you'' will slay Wildberry Princess.
:'''Jake''': Whaat!? I'd rather be injected with poison!
:'''Me-Mow''': Oh. Uhh... okay.
:'''Jake''': Uhh.. I mean... I will assassinate Wildberry Princess!
:'''Me-Mow''': Good. Oh, and if you ''try'' to trick me, I'll poison you. ''[climbs into Jake's nose]''
:'''Jake''': ''[squeaks]'' Mah nose!
:'''Me-Mow''': Blargh! It's like worn garbage up in here!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Me-Mow''': You did it! Well done! I guess I'll be on my way.
:'''Berry Guard 1''': ''[running to Wildberry Princess with her crown]'' Princess! Oh, Princess! 
:'''Berry Guard 2''': You're alive!
:'''Berry Guard 1''': We saw your crown next to a pile of dirty meat. ''[Me-Mow gets ticked off]'' Then we slipped on the meat! And I thought I tasted your juice, ''[sobbing]'' but it was just blood from the meat! WE'RE SO GLAD IT WASN'T ACTUALLY YOU!!!
:'''Me-Mow''': ''[snarls loudly]'' YOU LIAR!! ''[stabs nose wall with poison syringe]''
:'''Jake''': ''[collapses]'' Ough!
:'''Finn''': Jake?
:'''Me-Mow''': Okay, Jake. I've injected you with ''half'' the poison, and you'll be dead in 30 minutes, unless you kill the princess, which is when I'll give you the antidote. ''[Jakes grabs hold on Finn's shirt on the floor]''
:'''Jake''': Finn! Help me! 
:'''Finn''': What's wrong?
:'''Me-Mow''': If you say anything, I'll stab you in the brain!

== ''Thank You'' [3.17] ==
:
:'''Snow Golem''': You... the.. real good. Nice... home.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ice King''': You know... maybe we could all learn a thing or two from those sandwiches.

== ''The New Frontier'' [3.18] ==
:
:'''Jake''': Finn, when I die, my individual Earth consciousness is gonna go all over everywhere while Glob tallies my deeds.
:'''Finn''': ..What?
:'''Jake''': I'm gonna be all around you. In your nose and your dreams and socks — I'll be part of your Earth mind! It's gonna be great!
:'''Finn''': Dude... Stop. Saying. All this. Crazy. Nonsense. It's making me messed up. I'm 13. You're messin' me up.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': Wait. Just let him walk a few more steps.
:'''Jake''': Why?
:'''Finn''': Because that idiot's about to walk right into the sun and burn up, and we'll be done with him.
:'''Jake''': No man, he's walking into his house!
:''[cut to Banana Man walking to his house against the sun in the distance]''
:'''Finn''': Oh, what!? He built his house on the sun!? This guy's ''insane''!
:'''Jake''': Finn, did you eat your breakfast?
:'''Finn''': No. Why?
:'''Jake''': Because you forgot how the sun works. The sun is actually far away. It's not sitting right on the horizon.
:'''Finn''': ''[beat]'' Oh. Right on. Let's chase after him!
:'''Jake''': You gotta eat your breakfast, man, you need that protein. Helps your brain!
:'''Finn''': Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, Mom. Let's go!

== ''[[w:Holly Jolly Secrets|Holly Jolly Secrets Part I]]'' [3.19] ==
:
:'''Ice King''': &quot;Hello, dear diary. Pretty good day so far. Got up bright and early, had a healthy and slimming breakfast, did fourteen minutes of cardio, and then I finally got around to...&quot; ''[continues]''
:'''Jake''': Dude... what are we watchin'?
:'''Finn''': I think it's the Ice King's diary.
:'''Ice King''': &quot;I mean, I'm not gonna win carpenter of the year or anything, but it's a place to hang up the old toothbrush.&quot; ''[a Gunther jumps on bed]''
:'''Gunther''': &quot;Wenk.&quot; ''[walks to the camera]''
:'''Ice King''': &quot;Gunther. Hey, Gunther. Get-get away from the camera, sweetie. Papa's recording his innermost thoughts. 'Member, I explained this to you? ''[Gunther rubs his belly]'' Hey, Gunther? ''[Gunther jumps up and down]'' GUNTHER!!&quot;
:'''Gunther''': &quot;Wenk.&quot;
:'''Ice King''': &quot;Well, anyway, as you can see, I'm not wearing my—&quot;
:'''Gunther''': &quot;Wenk.&quot;
:'''Ice King''': &quot;I'm not wearing my—&quot;
:'''Gunther''': &quot;Wenk, wenk.&quot;
:'''Ice King''': &quot;Sweetie, I raised my voice because you were giving me the silent treatment. You understand?&quot;
:'''Gunther''': &quot;Wenk.&quot;
:'''Ice King''': &quot;I love you.&quot;
:'''Jake''': Can we fast-forward? 
:'''Finn''': N-No, man. We might miss something.
:'''Ice King''': ''[sighs]'' &quot;There must be more to life than this.&quot;
:'''Gunther''': &quot;Wenk.&quot;
:'''Ice King''': &quot;I know, you don't like when I'm contemplative. C-Contemplative? No. Con-tem-plat— C— Let's put on a play!&quot;
:'''Jake''': What?! ''[cut footage to Ice King in PB makeup and Gunther with crown and beard]''
:'''Ice King''': &quot;Oh, Ice King, you're so cool! You take such good care of yourself! I wanna be with you! ''[Gunter then pulls off beard]'' No, Gunther, beard stays on.&quot;
:'''Gunther''': &quot;Wenk.&quot;
:'''Ice King''': &quot;Gunther, I need you to wear the beard!&quot;
:'''Gunther''': &quot;Wenk.&quot;
:'''Ice King''': &quot;Gunther!&quot;
:'''Jake''': Hey, pause it, Beemo.
:'''Finn''': There's gotta be some evil secrets in here. I wanna keep watching.
:'''Jake''': Okay.. Well, why don't I make us some snacks? ''[sluggish]'' So I don't have to watch this...
:'''BMO''': Can we sit on the floor? I feel so far away from you guys.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ice King''': ''[thru Beemo video, crying]'' &quot;Oh, diary, thank you for listening to me.&quot; ''[continues crying]''
:'''Finn''': Fast-forward, Beemo.
:'''Ice King''': ''[sped up]'' &quot;Sorry, I've been meaning to tell you something insanely private. But darest I? I...love...to... ''[grunts]'' fill my bathtub full of milk and sit in it like I'm a magic angel! There, I said it. The white of the milk is so dense, and when I poke my little toes out from under the milk, they startle me and I giggle. I giggle, diary! They're my own toes, yet I giggle, and then I fall asleep. And the milk curdles and I get all stinky and sticky. Disgusting, diary, l am disgusting! I'm disgusting! I'm disgusting and I smell like curdled milk! ''[crying, walks to camera]'' Anyway, back to the Turtle Princess.&quot;
:'''Finn''': Play, Beemo.
:'''Ice King''': &quot;So there we are. Turtle Princess is frozen and in my little ice wheelbarrow, and there was... magic in the air. We were both feeling it. ''[pauses]'' But before I can leave the library, Finn and Jake show up! You know how Jake is—stretch this, stretch that, bah! He knocks off my crown and then Finn bonks me on the nose! Still hurts too. The worst part is, Turtle Princess took away my library card! ''[sigh]'' Y'know, dear diary... I'm starting to worry that all these entries sound exactly the same, and that my life is just me running in place on some... giant hamster wheel.&quot;

== ''[[w:Holly Jolly Secrets|Holly Jolly Secrets Part II]]'' [3.20] ==
:
:
:'''Ice King''': &quot;Good morning. You're watching the evening news. There's been an unfortunate event. Let's go talk to some witnesses. ''[he turns camera to a caged Wildberry Princess]'' Princess, what is your name?&quot;
:'''Wildberry Princess''': &quot;Please, let me go home!&quot;
:'''Ice King''': &quot;So, Princess Please-let-me-go-home, tell me. What was it like to experience this tragedy?&quot;
:'''Wildberry Princess''': &quot;What? I can— I don't, uh, uh...&quot;
:'''Ice King''': &quot;Yeah, we're on air, honey, so spit it out.&quot;
:'''Wildberry Princess''': &quot;I... I don't know what you're talking about.&quot;
:'''Ice King''': &quot;Obviously traumatized and in a state of shock. Let's go ask somebody else something. ''[turns camera upside-down; zooms to Wildberry Princess]'' Upside-down Princess, do you think things will change politically because of today's events?&quot;
:'''Wildberry Princess''': &quot;You're really frightening me!&quot;
:'''Ice King''': &quot;Well, there you have it, folks. ''[flips camera back]'' People are very upset that Gunther tried to eat Ice King's socks. ''Very'' upset! That's why Gunther has to stay in the corner.&quot;

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Beemo inserts the last VHS tape inside itself. Loading to what seems to be... a person in an art gallery]''
:'''Person''': &quot;Hello. My name is Simon Petrikov. I am recording this tape so that people will know my story.&quot;
:'''Ice King''': Oh no! Turn it off, Beemo, ''turn it off''!!
:'''Simon''': &quot;I was studying to be an antiquarian of ancient artifacts. Now I never believed in the supernatural stuff myself, just had a fascination with superstitions. But everything changed when I came into contact with this item.&quot;
:''[Simon slowly opens a safe and brings out a golden, three red gem-encrusted crown. Finn and Jake are surprised]''
:'''Finn &amp; Jake''': The Ice King! ''[both seated, with Ice King behind]''
:'''Simon''': &quot;After purchasing this crown from an old dock worker in northern Scandinavia, I brought it home and excitedly showed my fiancée Betty, and jokingly put it on my head just for a laugh or something. And that's when it started. The visions... I fought with them... Shouted at them until I realized it wasn't real, it was the crown!! I quickly took it off... and saw my fiancée in front of me — looking at me with such ''contempt''. What had I said? What had I done when I wore this crown? All I know is I never saw Betty again.&quot;
:''[...]''
:'''Simon''': &quot;Since then, I see the visions always whether or not I wear the crown. They tell me the secrets... the secrets of the ice and snow... that the power of the crown will save me with its frost. I don't yet know what this means. As you can see, my skin is beginning to turn blue. My body temperature has been lowering at a supernatural rate, to what is now about 30 degrees Celsius. I don't know when it will end. I'm really scared.&quot;
:''[...]''
:'''Simon''': &quot;I know my mind is ''changing''... but I'm already too far gone to know what to do. I want people to know that... if I do things... If I do things that hurt anyone, please.. please forgive me....&quot;
:''[...]''
:'''Simon''': &quot;Just watch over me until I can find a way out of this labyrinth in my brain and regain my sanity!! And then maybe Betty, my princess... maybe you will love me again. ''[sobs]'' Please love me again, Betty!!&quot;

== ''Marceline's Closet'' [3.21] ==
:
:''[Finn crawls slowly down the bedroom ladder, turns back to Jake]''
:'''Finn''': Is she awake?
:'''Jake''': Why are you talking?!
:'''Finn''': I'm wondering if she's awake.
:'''Jake''': Well, if she's awake, she can definitely hear you talking!
:'''Finn''': I'm ''whispering''!
:'''Jake''': Well, now we're both quietly screaming!!
:'''Marceline''': ''[offscreen]'' I can hear ''both'' of you.
:'''Finn''': Disguise yourself, fool!
:''[they run up before Marceline turns the light on; see Jake shapeshifted into Finn and Finn with a lampshade over his head]''
:'''Marceline''': What are you bozos doing in my lair?
:'''Jake''': Dude, I think she sees us. ''[Finn takes off lampshade]''
:'''Finn''': What the— Dude! You shape-changed to look like me?! ''[throws lampshade at Jake]''
:'''Jake''': ''[beat]'' Yeah.
:'''Marceline''': Hey! ''[hissing]'' Exssssplain yourselves.
:'''Finn''': ''[exhales deeply]'' We were playing hide-and-seek in your closet and you came home, so we hid in there all day. We saw... everything. And, oh Glob! ''[Jake jumps up and they hold each other]'' I mean, whatever you do to us, I just wanna say we're sorry!
:'''Jake''': So sorry!
:'''Marceline''': Okay. Apology accepted.
:'''Jake''': What?!
:'''Marceline''': I hide in ''your'' house all the time.

== ''Paper Pete'' [3.22] ==
:
:'''Finn''': Hey, this table is wobbly. We gotta take it to the Lost Tinker Goblin of Fog Mountain to fix it.
:'''Jake''': Dude, I would love to go on some crazy, made-up adventure with you, but I ''really'' gotta read this. So from here on out, I'm just gonna ignore you.

== ''{{w|Another Way (Adventure Time)|Another Way}}'' [3.23] ==
:
:'''Finn''': Uh, Jake, can't we get rid of these clown nurses? They make me feel ridiculous.
:'''Jake''': No way, man.
:'''Finn''': Ugh!
:'''Jake''': Well, now you know we can't jump off of birds. ''[the big green clown nurse waves a milk-dipped cookie and drop into Jake's mouth]'' I paid them up front. They don't leave until the job's done. Besides... ''[honks her nose horn]'' they're funny. ''[HHHOOO-&lt;big&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:orange&quot;&gt;'''PWWOOO!!!'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/big&gt;]'' Heheheh! Look! She just farted!
:'''Clown Nurse''': Time for our love therapy. ''[walks to Finn's bandaged toe]''
:'''Finn''': Wait... what're they doing? ''[she smooches his toe]'' Whoa!! Stop!!
:'''Clown Nurse''': Oh, my! Did that hurt, dear?!
:'''Finn''': No! I just don't want you kissing my toe!
:'''Clown Nurse''': Now, now, honey. You gotta understand that this is the ''only'' way to foo-foo your boo-boo.
:'''Finn''': WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!!
:'''Jake''': I don't know, but I feeling better already. Aah! That tickles!
:'''Green Clown Nurse''': You want me to stop?
:'''Jake''': No, keep going. ''[she resumes smooching Jake's foot]''
:'''Finn''': You're gross, man. ''[reads his Enchiridion]'' Look! &quot;Deep in the forest of trees, there's a Cyclops whose magical tears can heal any wound.&quot; See?! ''SEE''?!! ''[the clown nurse takes his Enchiridion away from him]''
:'''Clown Nurse''': Maybe you should leave the medical decisions to the medical professionals, and my professional prescription is... you toe need cu-''razy'' smooches! It's the only way! ''[laughing manically]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Cyclops''': ''[emerges off the ground, confronts Finn]'' Hey! I know you're here for my magical tears, but you won't have any because I never cry.
:'''Finn''': I don't want 'em anymore.
:'''Cyclops''': What? Stop lying! You're here for my tears, aren't you?
:'''Finn''': No! I hurt a small, hairy man's wife. I just wanna go home.
:'''Cyclops''': You're just trying to make me feel sad so you can steal my tears when I cry, but I've got a heart of stone, buddy. I'm evil!
:'''Finn''': Dude! What's wrong with you?! I said I don't want your tears!
:'''Cyclops''': '''YOU'RE LYING!!'''
:'''Finn''': I'M NOT &lt;big&gt;'''''LYING!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Cyclops''': ''[beat]'' You stink at lying.
:'''Finn''': Ugh! Fine. Whatever, man. Have it your way.
:'''Cyclops''': Okay... &lt;big&gt;'''I ''WILL'' HAVE IT MY WAY!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Finn''': Huh?! ''[gets pounded into the ground by the Cyclops]'' Ugghh...
:'''Cyclops''': Beg for mercy, or I'll kill you!
:''[Finn glances up at the Cyclops' eye; he notices water forming up in the big, round eye. He then mutters something out of earshot]''
:'''Cyclops''': ''[kneels down]'' Wh-what? ''[Finn mutters some more]'' What?! I can't hear you!
:'''Finn''':  I said... ''[punches the eye]'' ''MY'' WAY!!

== ''Ghost Princess'' [3.24] ==
:
:'''Finn''': How much softy cheesy for your deezy? A little? A lot?
:'''Jake''': Bleech! NONE!!
:'''Finn''': But you used to love softy cheese!
:'''Jake''': I don't wanna talk about it....
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': These ghosts think I'm playin'... they think it's all a big game. But y'know what? Y'know what I'm gonna do?
:'''Jake''': What?
:'''Finn''': I'm gonna turn this game &lt;big&gt;'''UPSIDE &lt;big&gt;''DOWN''&lt;/big&gt;!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;

== ''Dad's Dungeon'' [3.25] ==
:
:'''Holo-Joshua''': &quot;&lt;span style=&quot;color:magenta&quot;&gt;''The dungeon's 80 paces west of here under a dumb-looking rock. And Finn, this dungeon's gonna kick your tail. I bet you won't even get past the first trial, you whiny baby!'' &lt;/span&gt;&quot;

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Holo-Joshua''': &quot;&lt;span style=&quot;color:magenta&quot;&gt;''Finn, if you're seeing this pre-recorded holo-message, it's because you've finished the dungeon that I made for you. I'm proud of you. You're gonna do great things in this world. I love you, son.''&lt;/span&gt;&quot;

== ''[[w:Incendium (Adventure Time)|Incendium]]'' [3.26] ==
:
:'''Flame King''': Excellent! You have indeed proven yourself! Any prince ruthless enough to kill his own buffoon would make an excellent boyfriend!
:'''Jake''': Yeah..!
:'''Flame King''': For my evil daughter!
:'''Jake''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;''WHAAAAAT?!?!''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[for a beat, Flame Princess awakes from the liquid pyrotechnics left by PB and confronts Finn, in a fit of rage]''
:'''Flame Princess''': You...! What's wrong with me, huh!? You don't like me!?
:'''Finn''': I like you!
:''[beat. She becomes blushed for a while soon before enraged]''
:'''Flame Princess''': What's wrong with you!!? 
:''[she restores herself and slaps Finn on his left cheek]''
:'''Flame Princess''': Don't ever mess with me again!
:''[she storms out the window through Finn. He stares for a while, then turns to Jake]''
:'''Finn''': Who was that?
:'''Jake''': The princess of the Fire Kingdom.... ''[Finn looks out, back]''
:'''Finn''': Dude... I think I have a crush.

== External links==
{{wikipedia|Adventure Time}}

[[Category:Children's television seasons]]
[[Category:Adventure Time seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>ecqz619n1z9spdai6gt1u8u6ktn37tv</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Adventure Time (season 4)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>187341</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943881</id>
      <parentid>3824278</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:26:26Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30410-75</username>
        <id>3325553</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943881</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="47841" sha1="hoummjif1migjarju3ad4lpdxwip9it" xml:space="preserve">----
:
:
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Adventure Time (season 1)|1]] [[Adventure Time (season 2)|2]] [[Adventure Time (season 3)|3]] [[Adventure Time (season 4)|4]] [[Adventure Time (season 5)|5]] [[Adventure Time (season 6)|6]] [[Adventure Time (season 7)|7]] [[Adventure Time (season 8)|8]] [[Adventure Time (season 9)|9]] [[Adventure Time (season 10)|10]] | [[Adventure Time: Distant Lands|Distant Lands]] | [[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake|Fionna and Cake]] | [[Adventure Time: Side Quests|Side Quests]] | [[Adventure Time|Main]]
----

{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Adventure Time|Adventure Time]]''''' (2010–2018) is an American animated television series on Cartoon Network. The series follows the adventures of a boy named Finn (voiced by Jeremy Shada) and his best friend and adoptive brother Jake (voiced by John DiMaggio)—a dog with the magical power to change shape and size at will.

== ''[[w:Hot to the Touch|Hot to the Touch]]'' [4.01] ==
:'''Finn''': Dude, I think I have a crush! What do you know about her, Jake?
:'''Jake''': I was trying to help you get over your Princess Bubblegum sad times by hooking you two up. But she's evil, man!
:'''Finn''': ''[furious]'' You shut your dirty mouth. ''[slaps Jake]''
:'''Jake''': Dirty? ''[checks his tongue]'' No, man. Really, her dad said she was evil!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Jake''': She's headed for the Goblin Kingdom! We need to defeat this fiery she-beast!
:'''Finn''': I can't fight her, man! I'm still into her!
:'''Jake''': Finn! What's more important — your love for that screwball dame, or being a hero and saving the lives of innocent goblin folk?
:'''Finn''': ''[growl]'' Being a hero.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Flame Princess''': Finn, even if we like each other, we're going to hurt each other.
:'''Finn''': No! We don't have to! I can take it! I- I mean... can't we try?
:'''Flame Princess''': You would defy nature for me?
:'''Finn''': Uhh, yeah.... whatevs.
:''(The two hug, but Finn pushes her from him when he is burned by her fiery body.)''
:'''Flame Princess''':Bye, Finn. ''(she leaves the Goblin Kingdon)''

== ''[[w:Five Short Graybles|Five Short Graybles]]'' [4.02] ==
:
:'''Ice King''': You are nasty, Gunter! You a got nasty booty mister! Nasty! Aw, don't be sad Stinky. Come with Daddy and I'll make it all better.
:''[Gunter then drifts away from Ice King ]''
:'''Ice King''': G'bye Gunter! Sorry sweetie, but I'm never gonna get any princesses if you're stinkin' up the place!

== ''[[w:Web Weirdos|Web Weirdos]]'' [4.03] ==
:
:'''Jake''': A love like theirs will always find a way. It'll crawl all up over you and drain your body fluids, poisoning you slowly until you pass out.

== ''[[w:Dream of Love (Adventure Time)|Dream of Love]]'' [4.04] ==
:
:'''Bubblegum''': Cinnamon Bun! Do something!
:'''Cinnamon Bun''': ...Okay. Hey everyone! The concert is over!!
:'''Bubblegum''': That's not what I—
:'''Cinnamon Bun''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''THE CONCERT'S OVER, PRINCESS!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

== ''[[w:Return to the Nightosphere / Daddy's Little Monster|Return to the Nightosphere]]'' [4.05] ==
:
:'''Guard Demon''': Up and at 'em, people! Eveyone out of your cages. ''[Finn and Jake are released]'' My shift is over, and no one's shown up, so...
:'''Finn''': Whoa, wait! You're letting us go?
:'''Guard Demon''': I mean... yeah, but not really. You're in the Nightosphere, so... ''[shrugs]''
:'''Finn''': So... what?
:'''Jake''': ''[holds up cellphone and charger]'' Is there an outlet somewhere for this?
:'''Guard Demon''': Ah ha ha... Hahahahahahaha!!
:'''Finn''': Hey, c'mon! Just tell us how we can get back to our world!
:'''Guard Demon''': You can't leave the Nightosphere. Not unless ''he'' lets you.
:'''Finn/Jake''': Marceline's Dad...
:'''Guard Demon''': Yeah, that's Hunson Abadeer. He runs this place.
:''[cut to a plaque under the statue reading &quot;HUNSON ABADEER: OUR GREAT LEADER IS WITH US FOR ALL ETERNITY&quot; with a large caterpillar-like demon running through between the statue's legs]''
:'''Jake''': Hunson Abadeer? ''[giggles]'' Alright.
:'''Finn''': Well, dude, how do we talk to him?
:'''Guard Demon''': You can't just talk to the boss. You gotta make an appointment.
:'''Finn''': Yeah, but we don't even know why we're here!
:'''Jake''': ''[holds up a banana]'' And what's up with this?!
:'''Guard Demon''': Ugh. Oh! Oh, oh, sick! You touched that stuff?! ''[beat, flies off]'' Later, fools.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Marceline''': Who's next? Who's next?
:''[a demon steps forward]''
:'''Demon #1''': Uh... me, my lord &quot;Aberdeer.&quot;
:'''Marceline''': What do you desire, cowering spec? Pain? Pleasure? Or... weird punishment?
:'''Demon #1''': Uh... pleasure.
:'''Marceline''': No, weird punishment! ''[zaps Demon #1, bananas come out of his mouth]'' And what do you desire? P, P, or WP?
:'''Demon #2''':  I... pain?
:'''Marceline''': Okay. ''[zaps Demon #2, half his body disappears]''
:'''Demon #2''': Aw...
:'''Marceline''': Come on, come on, next!
:'''Demon #3''': Uh... I'm just gonna go.
:'''Marceline''': You sure, dude? Don't you want abs?
:'''Demon #3''': Yeah, gimme abs!
:''[Marceline turns Demon #3's face into a six-pack, then laughs evilly]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Finn''': ''[looks around]'' Who's the Teller? That guy?
:'''Boat Demon''': Okay, bozos, ''[whacks a demon with his oar]'' make room, make room! Make room!
:'''Demon''': Ouch!! Come on!
:'''Boat Demon''': Scooch over, fatty.
:'''Demon''': I can't, dude! This outbox is packed tighter than my tummy tunnel when I can't make brown on the camping trips... because of my anxieties and I have [[w:irritable bowel syndrome|IBS]] also. ''[gets hit with oar]'' Ow!
:'''Finn''': Hey, guy! Are you the Teller?
:'''Boat Demon''': No. No, no, this is the line to ''meet'' the Teller.
:'''Finn''': ''[hits his head]'' No, man, are you for real?! How long's the wait?!
:'''Boat Demon''': I don't know. I just like to row around on top of their heads.
:'''Finn''': Bunk that!
:'''Jake''': ''[holds up the banana]'' Hey, do you know about this?
:'''Boat Demon''': I... ew, no. Ehh... sick.
:'''Finn''': Why do we need to see the Teller anyway? We just wanna see Hunson Abadeer and find out what happened to us.
:'''Boat Demon''': The Teller will get you in touch with Hunson Abadeer. We got systems down here. You gotta swim the proper channels, ya know?
:'''Demon''': Yous ain't special! Yous gotta wait just like the rest of yous! ..Us.
:'''Finn''': Ugh... Where's the line start?
:'''Boat Demon''': Oh... I dunno. The thing sorta governs itself.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Finn''': Marceline... no one... '''LEAVES &lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 1.5em;&quot;&gt;THE NIGHTOSPHERE!!!&lt;/span&gt;''' ''[screeches]''

== ''[[w:Return to the Nightosphere / Daddy's Little Monster|Daddy's Little Monster]]'' [4.06] ==
:
:''[the camera cuts to more footage showing the Nightosphere via Jake's cameraphone]''
:'''Jake''': &quot;Alright, so... this is the Nightosphere, I guess. It looks banay-nays. Marceline says they got tons of crazy ways out here. ''[walks into the cave to see Finn and Marceline playing tambourine and banjo respectively]'' Right, Marceline? Marceline! ''[waves hand in front of the camera]'' Marcy!! ''[uses index finger and thumb on Marceline, morphs it into a claw hand while making sounds]'' Hehehe...
:'''Hunson''': &quot;There you are, Marceline. ''[pans out to show Hunson in his monster form]'' Huh? &lt;big&gt;'''''RAHHH''!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&quot;
:'''Jake''': &quot;&lt;big&gt;''WAHHHH!!!''&lt;/big&gt;&quot;
:'''Hunson''': &quot;Oh! Hello, dog. Hello, Finn.&quot; ''[swipe at Finn]''
:'''Finn''': &quot;Stay away from me, old man!&quot; ''[points at him and shakes tambourine]''
:'''Jake''': ''[watching the video]'' Hehehe... nice one.
:'''Hunson''': &quot;Now, Finn. ''[shrinks down into his non-monster state]'' Come on, there's no bad blood here. Come here, let's bury the hatchet! ''[hugs Finn]'' See how I'm not killing you?&quot;
:'''Marceline''': &quot;Ugh, Dad, stop.&quot;
:'''Hunson''': &quot;Alright, I don't want to embarrass my little girl. ''[puts Finn down]'' So young lady, have you thought about my offer?&quot;
:'''Marceline''': &quot;''Ugh''!!&quot;
:'''Jake''': &quot;What offer, Marceline's Dad?&quot;
:'''Hunson''': ''[chuckles]'' &quot;I want Marceline to take over the Nightosphere. Finally join the family business.&quot;
:'''Marceline''': &quot;Business? What do you even do?&quot;
:'''Hunson''': Oh, ha... ''[backing away]'' Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on...
:''[the camera points towards Jake's belly as he scratches himself. The camera points back to Hunson and Marceline observing the burning landscape]''
:'''Hunson''': &quot;Check it out, sweetie. See how chaotic it is out there? ''[fire shoots out of the ground]'' How everyone's confused and frustrated? The Nightosphere is sustained by chaos.&quot;
:''[camera swipe to Finn jiggling his cheeks, swipe back]''
:'''Marceline''': &quot;Eh, I just don't see my self doing this biz.&quot;
:'''Hunson''': &quot;Okay, but I know you'll come around eventually. Or maybe you won't. I don't know. You're an independent woman. ''[yawns so hard his soul-sucking face is seen as Jake backs away]'' Well, I'm gonna take a nappy. ''[taking a stroll]'' Oh! I almost forgot!&quot; ''[takes off a neck ornament and sucks his suit into it; he is now wearing underpants and an undershirt]''
:'''Marceline''': &quot;Dad!!&quot;
:'''Hunson''': &quot;Whoops! ''[laughs, hands it to her]'' You should put this amulet on. It'll grant you wishes for, like... ponies, or whatever kids like.&quot;
:'''Marceline''': &quot;Dad, I'm a thousand years old.&quot;
:'''Hunson''': &quot;Ha! Yes you are, sweetie. ''[messing her hair, walks away]'' Daddy's little monster!&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Finn and Jake find Marceline's dad (Hunson) holding a sandwich and mustard from the fridge]''
:'''Finn''': What are you doing?
:'''Hunson''': Just grabbing a midnight snack. ''[shuts fridge]''
:'''Finn''': It's Marceline! That's her out there!
:'''Hunson''': I know. Isn't it fantastic?
:'''Finn''': No! We have to save her!
:'''Hunson''': Save her?
:'''Finn''': From the amulet!
:'''Hunson''': But this is what I've always wanted. My daughter, following in his daddy's footsteps.
:'''Finn''': But that's not what ''she'' wants!
:'''Hunson''': That's balderdash, baby.

== ''[[w:In Your Footsteps|In Your Footsteps]]''  [4.07] ==
:
:''[back at the Tree Fort, Jake is listening to music in another room]''
:'''Finn''': ''[offscreen]'' Jake! Hey, Jake! ''[Jake takes off one side of his headphones]'' Jake!
:'''Jake''': What?
:'''Finn''': Come here! Ya gotta check this out!
:'''Jake''': Yeah, okay.
:'''Finn''': Check this out, man. This bear is tops blooby! ''[Jake rolls his eyes and sighs]'' Watch this. ''[Finn inhales and the bear does the same]'' Choo! ''[the bear does the same]'' Ya gotta try this, Jake. He does everything I do!
:''[Finn slushes his drink at full force. The bear looks for something to imitate with, picks up and chews on BMO's leg]'''
:'''BMO''': ''[laughing]'' Oh, stop! ''[Finn pulls BMO away]''
:'''Finn''': Haha, come on, Jake, try it!
:'''BMO''': It's awesome!
:'''Jake''': Heh-heh. Um... Yeah, okay. ''[grabs a broom and starts sweeping]'' Sweepy-sweepy-sweepy. Sweep sweep sweep. ''[sweeps the bear's side]'' Sweepin'!
:''[the bear thwacks Jake up high onto the ground, and scratches its face. Finn comes by laughing]''
:'''Finn''': He's got me down pat! Heh-hah! Sweeping's weak.
:'''Jake''': ''[annoyed]'' Mmmmmm...
:'''Bear''': ''[spoke]'' Sweeping weak.
:''Finn''': Whoa! Haha! This guy's alright!
:'''Jake''': ''[beat]'' This guy just busted me up my chops, Finn!
:'''Finn''': Hey, come on, he's just a bear. He don't know nothin'.
:'''Jake''': Mmmm... Yeah, I guess. Well, anyway, it's gettin' pretty late. Probably time for everyone to go back home to their own houses.
:'''Finn''': Yeah, I guess you're right, Jake. It is pretty late. He should probably stay here tonight. ''[Jake scowls]'' You can sleep in the bathtub.
:'''Bear''': Brathtrub!
:'''Finn''': ''[laughing]'' Brathtub! This guy is tops blooby!

== ''[[w:Hug Wolf|Hug Wolf]]'' [4.08] ==
:
:
:
:
:
:
:'''Jake''': ARE YOU READY TO OVERCOME THIS THING??
:'''Finn''': I think so.
:'''Jake''': I said, ARE YOU ''READY'' TO OVERCOME THIS THING!!?
:'''Finn''': Yeah. I heard you. I said, &quot;I think so.&quot;
:'''Jake''': I'm trying to get ya to shout.
:'''Finn''': Oh.. okay! &lt;big&gt;''IS THIS GOOD??''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Jake''': Never mind.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hug Wolf Finn''': Cinnamon Bun... ret me out...
:'''Cinnamon Bun''': I... I-I'm not supposed to!
:'''Hug Wolf Finn''': Don't you want a hug?
:'''Cinnamon Bun''': I can't, man!
:'''Hug Wolf Finn''': Not... even a real one?
:'''Cinnamon Bun''': Huuuhh...
:'''Hug Wolf Finn''': You want a hug?
:'''Cinnamon Bun''': Uuuhh.... &lt;big&gt;'''YES!!! HUG ME!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;

== ''[[w:Princess Monster Wife|Princess Monster Wife]]'' [4.09] ==
:
:
:
:'''Ice King''': ''[at Ice Kingdom]'' I said I don't know! ''[groans]'' I have nothing to do with this!
:'''Jake''': Stop lying! We found your fingerprints at the crime scene!
:'''Ice King''': What?! Really?!
:'''Jake''': Uh... no. ''[Finn laughs]''
:'''Ice King''': Oh, well... then why did you say that?
:'''Finn''': Ice King, we know you did it!
:'''Ice King''': Finn, I'm as concerned as you are. There's some sicko out there. What if he comes after ''my'' princess?
:'''Both''': ''YOUR'' princess?
:'''Ice King''': Yeah. Let me introduce you to my new wife.
:''[he removes a cloak from a shadowed figure revealing a grotesque mash-up of all the princesses, making Finn and Jake gasp in horror. Ice King looks back and forth]''
:'''Ice King''': Oh, wait. You mean ''I'm'' the guy stealing all the p— Yeah, okay, I get it now.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Ice King''': Here it is. I hope you like it. ''[unveils ice sculptures of Ice King and Monster Wife holding hands]''
:'''Monster Wife''': Hmm...
:''[Monster Wife walks to their sculpture of themselves, tapping its face and puts banana in its mouth, which drops soon after. They look down in a melancholy expression]'' 
:'''Ice King''': You like?
:'''Monster Wife''': Is there something wrong with me? The way I am... it's not normal, is it?
:'''Ice King''': ''[embraces her]'' Ohh, pretty baby wife. You're the most normal thing in my whole life. We're like two normal jelly beans sitting at the bottom of the jar, floating in a sea of olives, waiting for somebody to guess how many jelly beans are in the jar, which I mentioned.
:'''Monster Wife''': I don't think I understand.
:'''Ice King''': Just look into my eyes and know that everything is okay.

== ''[[w:Goliad (Adventure Time)|Goliad]]''  [4.10] ==
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:''[aside Finn and Jake, Bubblegum meets with Goliad in the castle gardens]''
:'''Bubblegum''': Hello, Goliad!
:'''Goliad''': Hello, Princess.
:'''Bubblegum''': I hear you learned a lot today.
:'''Goliad''': Yes. I lead the children.
:'''Bubblegum''': But Finn said you used yelling and mind control.
:'''Goliad''': Yes. It was good.
:'''Bubblegum''': Goliad, let me tell you something about leadership. You see this fat bee? She gets pollen from this flower, but she's gentle and makes the flower happy and pollenated. They both get what they need, and that's how a leader should be.
:'''Goliad''': No, Princess. Bee cares not for flower. If getting pollen hurt or kill flower, bee would not care. ''[crushes, twists bee]'' Bee is stronger than flower. ''[uses third eye to resurrect it]'' Goliad is stronger than bee. ''[influences bee at Finn and Jake]'' Goliad is stronger than all.

== ''[[w:Beyond This Earthly Realm|Beyond This Earthly Realm]]'' [4.11] ==
:'''Ice King''': What do you think, Finn? Can we pull back the layer of static and reach into the source of all being? Behind this curtain of patterns, this random pattern generator... so clever, right here in every home, watching ''us'' from a one-sided mirror.
:''[Finn stares.]''
:'''Ice King''': Whoops! Heh, just wizard-talkin' to myself.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Jake''': ''[shocked to see Finn turned into a lamb]'' Oh my chob! Finn's become one with the lamb!

== ''[[w:Gotcha! (Adventure Time)|Gotcha!]]'' [4.12] ==
:
:'''Turtle Princess''': &quot;''Hey, girl!'' &quot;
:'''LSP''': Oh, Turtle Princess! This book is coming out awesome!!
:'''Turtle Princess''': &quot;''Oh good, girl! I can't wait to read it!'' &quot;
:'''LSP''': Thanks, girl.
:'''Turtle Princess''': &quot;''Goodnight, girl.''&quot;
:'''LSP''': Goodnight, girl.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''LSP''': This is way too boring for my book! Oh, my shoulder strap! Ohh! My orange juice is comin' out! Hah! Gotchuh? ''[kerPLOOP!!]''
:'''Finn''': Hehah! Jake! Kerploop!
:'''Jake''': Hehehee! Kerploop!
:'''LSP''': Not &quot;gotcha&quot;?

== ''[[w:Princess Cookie|Princess Cookie]]'' [4.13] ==
:'''Jake''': Milk? Some milk?
:'''Cookie''': What? Oh.. look... you should probably split, buddy. Things are about to get pretty flipped out in here.
:'''Jake''': Oh sure, sorry man. I was just tryin' to get away from that rotten Princess Bubblegum for a while, y'know? Isn't she just the worst?
:'''Cookie''': Wait, you hate Princess Bubblegum too? Get outta here!
:'''Jake''': Oh yeah, man, she's the worst! Sittin' out there all safe and cosy while I'm riskin' my life tootin' around in here in a stupid milkman costume...
:''[...]''
:'''Cookie''': Wait--costume!?
:'''Jake''': Oh, um... I just mean it feels like a costume! Cos I wanted to be a mailman so bad, you see? But the Princess--she made me be a milkman anyway.
:'''Cookie''': Boy I here ya, brother.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Bubblegum''': Okay, okay... How about I give you a big cowboy hat... then will you let the hostages go?
:''[...]''
:'''Cookie''': No!! No! Don't play games with me, Princess! I want that crown! No crown, no hostages!
:'''Bubblegum''': Well, obviously, that's going to be a problem, because I'M the princess and I need my crown. So...
:'''Cookie''': No, Princess! You are problem, the problem princess! ...Just gimme that crown!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': ''[in soft, deep tone]'' Alvin shot juice box. Alvin shot juice box.

== ''[[w:Card Wars|Card Wars]]'' [4.14] ==
:
:'''Finn''': Hey, Jake. What's wrong? You look dumpy. How come? I-Is it because of that metal box? ''[runs to Jake looking out the window]'' Is something sad inside?
:'''Jake''': No... it's nothin'.
:'''Finn''': There's lots of boxes that have nothing in them. But also, you can ''put'' something in the box. And then it won't be empty! Does that make you feel better? ''[Jake turns to him]''
:'''Jake''': ''[chuckles]'' You're a charmer, Finn Human. No... it's, well... Lady Rainicorn doesn't want to play the game Card Wars with me. ''[shows box full of cards to Finn]'' I always beat her. 'Cause she says &quot;No more Card Warring.&quot;
:'''Finn''': What's Card Wars?
:'''Jake''': It's a fantasy card game that's super-complicated and awesome, but— well... oh, it's kinda stupid. Never mind.
:'''Finn''': How come you never talked abut it before? It sounds cool!
:'''Jake''': Really? Well, I thought you'd say it was for nerds who do not know how life is outside the nerd universe.
:'''Finn''': I-It is, man. But I still totally want to play it. So no more moping, okay?
:'''Jake''': Thanks, Finn!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Jake''': Okay, now it's the battle phase. I'm attacking your schoolhouse with my Husker Knights. ''[summons three corn-shaped knights]'' And, I'm casting Cerebral Bloodstorm! ''[summons a flying brain which rains down a cornfield]'' So, what do you use to defend? ''[his Husker Knights and Cerebral Bloodstorm starts charging into Finn's side]'' 
:'''Finn''': Uhh... can my Cool Dog and Ancient Scholar defeat your Husker Knights? ''[Jake laughs out loud]''
:'''Jake''': Of course not!
:'''Finn''': Hmm... Then, I floop the pig.
:'''Jake''': What?! ''[he giggles]''
:'''Finn''': What?
:'''Jake''': Okay, okay. First of all, you don't floop a creature to make it fight. You activate a creature.
:'''Finn''': Hmm, no — it says I can floop the pig. See? ''[summons a pig]''
:''[the pig is flooped onto the battlefield. It runs past the Knights and Bloodstorm and begins eating the cornfields; Jake gasps in shock]''
:'''Jake''': No! He's eating all my cornfields! My Husker Knights draw energy from corn! ''[his Knights drop dead]''
:'''Finn''': And since I'm not actually attacking, your Cerebral Bloodstorm only does damage to your own kingdom's troops. ''[the Bloodstorm strikes thunder to his Knights; Jake gasps loudly]''
:'''Jake''': You just wiped out my entire attack!
:'''Finn''': What do you expect if all your power units come from corn? Pigs eat corn, dude. Cornfields ''stink''.
:'''Jake''': Cornfields are awesome!! What makes you think you know so much about Card Wards?!
:'''Finn''': It's just logic.
{{line}}
:'''Jake''': You're the cool guy, huh? Well, let me make it a little ''hot'' for you, then. ''(He chuckles sinisterly as he floops a land card)'' I floop the VOLCANO!
:'''Finn''': WHA!? That'll destroy your kingdom, too, won't it?!
:'''Jake''': ''(scoffs)'' Maybe.
''(The volcano erupts, sending a lava ball at the Cave of Solitude, killing Finn's pig.)''
:'''Finn''': '''AAH! MY PIG!!!'''
:''(Jake's Earlings also perish in the lava as it destroys Jake's domain.)''
:'''Jake''': ''(chuckles)'' '''&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;The pig is dead.&lt;/span&gt;'''
{{line}}
:'''Jake''': '''YOU GANKED MY SPIRIT WALKER!!!'''
:''(Angered, Jake gets up and has a fit, mumbling frustratedly as he thrashes around.)''
:'''Finn''': Uh...maybe we should take a break?
:''(Jake turns back around and returns to the table.)''
:'''Jake''': ''Your turn.''
:'''Finn''': Huh?!
:'''Jake''': ''(grows large)'' &lt;big&gt;'''YOU PLAY! ''YOU PLAY!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Finn''': Oh, zang!
:''(Finn looks back on BMO's earlier statement, &quot;I do not play such games...with Jake.&quot;, and he stands up.)''
:'''Finn''': I gotta use the boy-style room!
:''(Finn runs upstairs to search for BMO.)''
:'''Finn''': ''(whispering)'' BMO. BMO.
:'''BMO''': '''BMO CHOP!''' If this were a real attack, you'd be dead.
{{line}}
:'''BMO''': Oh, no! Are you winning the game of Card Wars?
:'''Finn''': Yeah.
:'''BMO''': That's terrible! If Jake loses that game, he gets super depressed. When I beat him, he wouldn't talk to me for a month!
:'''Finn''': Wha? I only played so he ''wouldn't'' be bummed.
:'''BMO''': Finn, you must take a dive.
:'''Finn''': Yeah, okay. But I'm a Card Wars super-Amadeus.

== ''[[w:Sons of Mars (Adventure Time)|Sons of Mars]]'' [4.15] ==
:
:'''Gob''': Magic Man, you caused nothing but turmoil and chaos for us on Mars. We thought banishing you to this world would help you see the light of our utopian supersociety. Now tell us. What have you learned in these past 200 years?
:'''Jake (Magic Man)''': ...Are you guys talkin' to me?
:'''Glob''': You know you made life on Mars a nightmare!
:''[Finn wakes up groaning to see Grob Gob Glob Grod and Jake in Magic Man's body]''
:'''Gob''': Now we must return you to Mars, where vengeance awaits thee.
:'''Finn''': That's not—
:''[Grob Gob Glob Grod blasts off into the sky with Jake. Finn looks at Magic Man in Jake's body]''
:'''Finn''': Magic Man! ''[pounds him]'' Get up!
:'''Magic Man''': Did it work? Is he gone?
:'''Finn''': ''[flips himself back up]'' Hyup-hoop! They took my friend to Mars! Fly me there and help me save him!
:'''Magic Man''': Oh, I'm sorry, but I can't. You see? ''[wiggles fingers]'' The transfer drained me. I can probably barely float. So, I just gotta wait till they kill your friend. See ya! ''[floats away laughing before Finn jumps on his back]''
:'''Finn''': NO!! What do you mean &quot;kill&quot;?!
:'''Magic Man''': They're gonna put him on trial for my crimes. Ain't nobody gonna pardon these crimes on my head. Not even the King of Mars! And once he's dead, my magic juice will return to my body. Flowing through me like moonlight through the ghost dance.
:'''Finn''': ''[squeezes Magic Man]'' &lt;big&gt;''SQUEEEEZE''!!!&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Magic Man''': I wish I could help. Except I don't!
:'''Finn''': You succubutt!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Gob''': He is here somewhere, my brothers. Glob, can you see Magic Man on the sensor?
:'''Glob''': Yes, Gob. Our little brother is very close.
:'''Grob''': Hey, flip me!
:'''Glob''': Okay. ''[flips Grob's head on the front]''
:'''Grob''': I'm gonna activate the thingy that drains his magic juice. ''[activates sensor]''
:'''Magic Man''': Nahhh! My juice! ''[wiggles fingers]'' Not... flowing... right. Dream on, honey! You can't catch this! ''[he starts running then jumps into the air doing a continuous somersault]'' Magic away! Pshewww! ''[disappears momentarily then pops back on the ground]'' Whap!
:'''Grob''': I think I see him.
:'''Grod''': Yes, I see him as well.
:'''Glob''': Hey guys?
:'''Grob/Grod''': What, Glob?
:'''Glob''': ...Nothing, never mind.

== ''[[w:Burning Low|Burning Low]]'' [4.16] ==
:
:'''Jake''': Looks like your date went pretty good, buddy.
:'''Finn''': Uh... I don't know. Was the hug okay? Give me some tips, mang.
:'''Jake''': Bro, you gotta let things take their natural path. Look. ''[forms his arm into a staircase with 15 steps]'' Look, let me explain some junk about dating. Right now you're at Tier 1, which is hugging. But pretty soon, you'll be at Tier 2, which is smooching. Then down the road you'll make it to Tier 5, where she'll let you discover all fifteen feet of her long, beautiful stomach. And after a while, you'll make it to Tier 8, where you touch her horn for the very first time. Very special.
:'''Finn''': What about Tier 15?
:'''Jake''': ''[sharply]'' You stay away from that! ''[beat]'' Do ''not'' do Tier 15!!!
:'''Finn''': Dude, I got no idea what you're talking about.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bubblegum''': Finn!
:'''Finn''': ''[high-pitched]'' AAHHH!!!
:'''Bubblegum''': Whatcha doin'?
:'''Finn''': Oh, uh— hi, Princess! I'm, uh, writing something for Jake.
:'''Bubblegum''': Oh, well, speaking of Jake, did he explain everything to you?
:'''Finn''': Yeah.
:'''Bubblegum''': And you understand?
:'''Finn''': ''[turns away]'' Yeah, I understand.
:'''Bubblegum''': Finn, sometimes you want someone and you ''[puts hand on Finn's left knee]'' want to kiss them, and be with them. But you can't, because responsibility demands sacrifice.
:'''Finn''': ''[incredulous]'' What are you trying to say?!
:'''Bubblegum''': I'm trying to say that you're a hero, Finn. You're ''my'' hero. So, I'm glad you understand why you can't be with Flame Princess. ''[Finn stands up, enraged]''
:'''Finn''': Bubblegum, I can't do this anymore!!
:'''Bubblegum''': What?
:'''Finn''': ''Now'' you like me?!
:'''Bubblegum''': Finn, what are you talking about?
:'''Finn''': What am ''I'' talking about?! ''[grunts]'' PB, I was... geh...eh...  I was in love with you! Okay?! And you didn't love me back! Now I'm ready to move on, and it's like... ''[grunts]'' you're gonna build me up all over again! Well, I'm done! I'm done.
{{line}}
:'''Bubblegum''': Finn? Jake, where's Finn? Is he with Flame Princess?
:''(Jake slams his pan on the stove)''
:'''Jake''': Back off, Bubblegum! That's his man's biz!
:'''Bubblegum''': ''(shows Jake the poem)'' Is he with her '''''OR NOT'''''?!
:'''Jake''': You heartless monster! Do you have any idea how much he's '''CRIED''' over you?! Finn deserves to be happy, even if his bloopin' &lt;big&gt;FACE&lt;/big&gt; gets burned off!! '''YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED!!!!'''
:''(Jake throws an empty box at Bubblegum)''
:'''Jake''': '''&lt;big&gt;YOU'RE SICK!!!&lt;/big&gt;'''
:'''Bubblegum''': What?! This isn't about some petty love triangle! Flame Princess is '''''PHYSICALLY UNSTABLE!!''''' Her elemental matrix can't handle extreme romance! Grob, if Finn tries to kiss her, she'll burn so hot, she'll melt ''RIGHT'' through the planet's crust, down to the molten core! Then, she'll be thrown back and forth by gravity until she burns out the world from the inside!! Why do you think I had her father keep her locked up!?
:''(Jake gasps in shock)''
:'''Bubblegum''': Will you take me to them?!?

== ''[[w:BMO Noire|BMO Noire]]'' [4.17] ==
:
:'''Finn''': Why don't you just help me find my sock?
:'''Jake''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, Finn lost his sock! Everybody stop what you're doing and help Finn find his precious sock!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''BMO''': ''[corners a rat]'' Hello, Ronnie. ''[moves his lips]''
:'''Ronnie''': ''[BMO's voice]'' &quot;What do you want, BMO?&quot; ''[squeaks]''
:'''BMO''': Where is Finn's sock?
:'''Ronnie''': &quot;I don't know what you're talking about, BMO. I didn't do nothing. Leave me alone!&quot; ''[grooms his face; zoom on a lipstick smudge on the back of his neck]''
:'''BMO''': ''[voiceover]'' I knew that lipstick anywhere. ''[spoke]'' How is Lorraine?
:'''Ronnie''': &quot;You stay away from her! She is with me now, do you hear?&quot;
:'''BMO''': Calm down, big guy. Me and Lorraine are... dinosaur bones.
:'''Ronnie''': &quot;Good, 'cause I would be ''so'' jealous.&quot; ''[BMO shows picture to him]''
:'''BMO''': Just tell me where the sock is, and I will let you go.
:'''Ronnie''': &quot;I don't know, man!&quot;
:'''BMO''': What if I put some knuckle in your eyeballs? Would that help you think?
:'''Ronnie''': &quot;Okay, okay! Um... ''[BMO grabs arm pointing to Finn's sock]'' It looks like a grape juice stain on his sock. Check the pantry.&quot;

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''BMO''': ''[voiceover]'' Bebe owned Bebe's, a dance club downtown. He yells at ladies.
:''[BMO walks to the remote on the floor and puts his foot down on Bebe]''
:'''BMO''': Wake up, brainiac.
:'''Bebe''': &quot;BMO? Aah— aah! Arrgh!!&quot;
:'''BMO''': Where is the sock, Bebe?
:'''Bebe''': &quot;Uh— ''[coughing]'' I don't know nothin' bout socks!&quot;
:'''BMO''': Don't play dumb, Bebe!'' [takes some soot out the oven]'' Don't play dumb with me!
:''[he smothers the soot on Bebe and starting coughing even worse]''
:'''BMO''': I talked to Lorraine, Bebe. She sold you out, dum-dum!
:'''Bebe''': &quot;No! She-she wouldn't do that! It wasn't me, I swear! It was Ronnie!&quot;
:'''BMO''': Ronnie? But why?
:'''Bebe''': &quot;I don't know, man! I don't know! ''[sobbing]'' Oh, Lorraine!&quot; ''[Bebe continues sobbing; BMO looks into his dirty sooted hands]''
:'''BMO''': I'm gonna go wash this shmutz off my grabbers. When I get back, you better start talking sense.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''NEPTR''': Hello? Hello? Hello? Hey, BMO. Wake up, buddy. Are you all right? ''[BMO gets up]''
:'''BMO''': NEPTR? I feel like l got hit with a {{w|Dracula}} by {{w|King Kong}}.
:'''NEPTR''': Whoa, sorry, man. You want some pie or something?
:'''BMO''': Sorry, I gotta run. The cops are after me. Have you seen any down here?
:'''NEPTR''': Nah. No one's been down here all day, except me, you, and Ronnie.
:'''BMO''': What?! What was Ronnie doing down here?
:'''NEPTR''': I don't know. But now my sensors indicate that some treasure is missing. ''[spins around]'' About a sock's worth.
:'''BMO''': ''[gasps]'' That's it! That's why Ronnie took the sock—to carry stolen treasure in with! He had to whack Bebe to keep him from squealing, then he pinned the rap on me.
:'''NEPTR''': Bebe's dead?
:'''BMO''': Listen, NEPTR, you better lay low for a while. I'm gonna go find Ronnie. ''[climbs ladder]'' I've got a score to settle.
:'''NEPTR''': Hey, BMO! We should hang out more. We're both robots.
:'''BMO''': ''[beat]'' No, NEPTR. I am not like you.

== ''[[w:King Worm (Adventure Time)|King Worm]]'' [4.18] ==
:'''Pep But''': You need to find this worm and break it.
:'''Finn''': Find the worm? But you got him right there! Hahh! ''[no worm but a spoon]''
:'''Phil''': ''[peeks out behind Pep But]'' SATORI!!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''King Worm''': ''[a little deflated, and uses a weaker voice''] Hey, why don't you sit down or pass out or something?
:'''Finn''': ''[angrily]'' Never!!!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Finn''': ''[in a rather deep, manly tone]'' &lt;big&gt;''GET OUT OF OUR HOUSE, KING WORM!''&lt;/big&gt;


== ''[[w:Lady &amp; Peebles| Lady &amp; Peebles]]'' [4.19] ==
:
:'''Rainicorn''': ''Gyaenedeul chaj-ass-eoyo?'' (&quot;Did you find them?&quot;) ''[PB checks device]''
:'''Bubblegum''': My GPS shows Finn and Jake over there. I think that's where the Ice King has them hostage.
:'''Rainicorn''': ''Gyaenedeul anjeonhalkkayo?'' (&quot;Will they be okay?&quot;)
:'''Bubblegum''': I'm sure the boys are fine. The Ice King isn't usually a serious threat. ''[digs duffle bag]'' Besides, this'll be easy with the two of us. ''[holds up robotic kettle and cup]'' We've got science on our side.
:'''Kettle''': Your tea is ready. ''[PB pours]'' Pouring. Pouring.
:'''Rainicorn''': ''Jeikeuga siljongdoegi jeon-e naega wolnamgugsu myeon-i jilgidago malhaess-eoyo. A, naega wae geuleon mal-eul haess-eulkka... Museun nappeun il-i saeng-gyeoss-eumyeon eotteoghae?! Gyaega mandeun gugsu mas-eobsdago han ge uliui majimag daehwayeoss-eoyo.'' (&quot;I told Jake that his Vietnamese noodles were too tough before he went missing. Why did I say such a thing?! What if something bad happens to him?! The last conversation we had was that his noodles were tough...&quot;)
:'''Bubblegum''': It's okay, Lady. Jake knows you love him.
:'''Rainicorn''': ''Mianhaeyo. Naega gugsuleul neomu manh-i meog-eossna bwayo.'' (&quot;Sorry. I guess I've eaten too many noodles.&quot;)
:'''Bubblegum''': Don't worry. Just try to relax. ''[Lady lowers herself; PB checks watch]'' I'll work on my holo-entry. ''[projects holo-entry]'' It's been three weeks since Finn and Jake disappeared while battling the Ice King. I've activated a secret GPS implanted in Finn's ear. It has lead us to an uncharted black ice cave... but I've spent hours calculating every possible danger and am well-prepared.
:'''Rainicorn''': ''Geunom-i kal-eul deulgo deombimyeon eotteoghaeyo?!'' (&quot;What if he attacks you with a knife?!&quot;)
:'''Bubblegum''': Then I'll pull out my electrode gun.
:'''Rainicorn''': ''Geunom-i gongjunim-eul haechilyeogo hamyeon-yo?!'' (&quot;What if he tries to hurt you?!&quot;)
:'''Bubblegum''': Then I'll use my ball-blam-burgler-ber! Lady, it'll be fine. We've got science!
:'''Rainicorn''': ''A... maj-ayo, naega jom geogjeong-i simhan pyeon-ijyo. Jeon ban sal-eun sichedeul-i uli jib-eul gong-gyeoghaneun agmong-e sidallyeoyo. Uli samchon, oesugmo, sachondeul-i da jib-e iss-eoss-eoyo. Agiga wicheung-eseo uneun solikkaji saengsaenghi deullindanikkayo. naega uli gajogdeul-eul jikil suman issdamyeon — geu kkum kkuneun dong-an eolmana seuteuleseu bad-eumyeon ippalkkaji mujihage gal-ayo.'' (&quot;You're right. I worry too much sometimes. I always get haunted by this nightmare where zombies attack my house! My uncle, aunt-in-law, and cousins are all present in my house. I even hear the baby crying coming from the upstairs. If I could just protect my dear family. ''[PB becomes shocked]'' I become too stressful during that dream. I even grind my own teeth!&quot;)
:''[Lady grinds her teeth; PB gasps]''
:'''Rainicorn''': ''Da-eumnal il-eonamyeon ippaldeul-i geum gaiss-eoyo. Botong jeon geunyang geuleon geos kkum-ilani, naega geogjeong-eul saseo haji hamyeo ij-eobeolilyeogo haeyo. Jega geu ban sal-eun sichedeul-ege jeongmal du beon-ina gong-gyeogdanghaess-eossjanh-ayo.'' (&quot;When I wake up in the morning, all my teeth are cracked up! I usually try to forget about it, thinking that it's just a dream or I'm being paranoid, but I was actually attacked by zombies before, twice.&quot;)
:'''Bubblegum''': Hmm, I suppose that's true. ''[pours tea into snow]'' Let's roll.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Ice King''': ''[echoed thru vent]'' This is total bunk, you copier! You're only in love with her cos I'm in love with her!!
:'''Lady Rainicorn''': Ice King!
:'''Ice King''': I've been playing this game a lot longer than you, pal! I've been working my moves, smooth-talking her, showing her magic tricks! Don't ignore me! Come back!!

== ''[[w:You Made Me (Adventure Time)|You Made Me]]'' [4.20] ==
:
:'''Lemongrab''': Blombo, what is that?
:'''Jamaica''': What?
:'''Lemongrab''': On Blombo's ears?
:'''Jamaica''': That's his headphones!
:'''Lemongrab''': Blombo, take them off! Blombo! You must heed my &lt;big&gt;'''INSTRUCTIONS!!!'''&lt;/big&gt; &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''TAKE OFF YOUR THIIIINGS!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Toughy''': Woah! Settle down, Lemongrease!
:'''Lemongrab''': I-I am not &lt;big&gt;'''GREASE!!'''&lt;/big&gt; THIS IS &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''UNACCEPTABAAAAHHHHHHLE!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Blombo''': What? What's goin' on?
:'''Lemongrab''': All unfit citizens of Lemongrab must be reconditioned!
:'''Blombo''': Man, are you crazy!?
:'''Lemongrab''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''YAAAAAAAHHHHOOOOU MEEEEEEEAHHIIEE!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn and Jake''': Show us now!
:'''Banana Guards''': Show you what?
:'''Finn and Jake''': What you said!
:'''Banana Guards''': We didn't say nothin'!
:'''Finn and Jake''': It's too late for take-backs! We practically know everything already! NOW SHOW US!!


== ''[[w:Who Would Win|Who Would Win]]'' [4.21] ==
:'''Jake''': [as a cape] Looks like a beach brawl
:'''Finn''':Looks like there trying to drown a barn
:'''Jake''':That's not abarn man''[the white barn-like creature rises from the water]'' that's a dude

:'''Finn''': What's goin' on here, tough boy? What is that huge dude?
:'''Marauder''': He's The Farm, the legendary fighter of the Shiney Isles. I came here to participate in his open challenge, but this mother can't be beat!
:'''The Farm''': Give up, worms! My fight power is supreme! I'm too ''[punches water]'' freaking legendary for you!!
:''[Finn and Jake stare in awe as The Farm continues pummeling the lake with farm animals dropping down his barn onto a group of fighters; The Farm punches one nearby]''
:'''All Marauders''': ''[chanting]'' Train! Train! Train! Train! Train!
:'''Finn''': Whoa! ''[see people cheering to an imposing figure on a cliff]''
:'''Marauder 2''': I love you, The Train!
:'''Marauder 3''': You're almost as legendary as The Farm, The Train!
:'''The Train''': The Train is gonna smack you down on his tracks! Whoop! ''[jumps down into lake]'' Your caboose is mine! ''[runs toward The Farm]'' Choo-choo! Choo-choo!!
:'''Finn''': Oh, my Glob... ''[watches The Train running underneath The Farm]''
:'''The Train''': Choooo! ''[gets crushed by The Farm]'' Ow! My legs are backwards! Oh! Why?! ''[The Farm kicks him ashore in front of Finn and Jake]'' Ohh, you're mean! ''[farts]''
:'''Finn''': Did you just die?
:'''The Train''': No... The Train will chug on... My friend makes bionic legs. I'll be better than before.
:'''Finn''': ''[gasps]'' I want bionic legs! Who's your friend?
:'''The Train''': Yeah, right. It's secret! ''[begins dragging himself away]'' Ah! Don't follow me. ''[continues dragging]'' Oh! Train can do this. ''[drags out of scene]''
:'''Jake''': You don't want bionic legs. It ain't natchy.
:'''Finn''': I don't care about natchy.
:'''Jake''': Let's discuss this later.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jake''': Hey, did you dream about Dream Warrior?
:'''Finn''': Yeah. What was he trying to tell us exactly?
:'''Jake''': I don't know, I didn't get it. But listen, man. I'm sorry I got mad at you. Who cares about my high score at &quot;Kompy&quot;? It ain't important.
:'''Finn''': No, man. It is important. Being the third best at something is math and deserves respect, not like I did to &quot;Kompy&quot;. Anyway, I think we both got cranky after all that training.
:'''Jake''': Well, good thing we're rested, 'cause now we can beat this beast.
:'''Finn''': Yeah. ''[see groups of marauders cheering on the cliff]'' Oh, hey! Look!
:'''Jake''': The dudes came back to watch us fight!
:'''Finn''': A'ight. This is it. Let's use what we learned in training!
:'''Jake''': Uh... All we did was fight dirty with cheap— wait...
:'''Dream Warrior''': ''[flashback]'' ''My cars are che-e—che-e-eap.''
:'''Jake''': Dream Warrior was telling us which cheap moves to use on The Farm! Headlights mean eyes!
:'''Finn''': Mud in the eyes!
:'''Jake''': Give-up-on-life pants!
:'''Finn''': ''[pants down]'' Pull down his pants like you did to ''moi''!
:'''Jake''': Two golden apples!
:'''Finn''': Hm... I think I know what that means.
:'''Jake''': Well, sure, I can make a wild guess.
:'''Finn''': You ready, man?
:'''Jake''': Yeah, dude! ''[they bump fists; whispers]'' Put your pants on.
:'''Finn''': ''[deep voice]'' Okay.

== ''[[w:Ignition Point (Adventure Time)|Ignition Point]]'' [4.22] ==
:
:
:'''Finn''': What's going on with the costumes?
:'''Costumed Fire Actor''': This is a theater troop, we're getting ready to perform for the king. Everyone in the kingdom shall be in attendance. Of course, you know all this being fellow actors from the exact same troop.
:'''Jake''': I have an idea. We'll go on stage, act like two conspirators. You'll have one shoe untied, I will talk with hiss voice. We'll talk about how we wanna kill the king. As we do this we'll study the faces of the audience and look for guilty reaction.
:'''Finn''': That's brilliant!
:'''Jake''': Thanks, it's an original idea. By me.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Flame King''': Furnius and Torcho!
:'''Furnius''': Hello, uncle.
:'''Flame King''': Arrest the executioners. I thought I had you two extinguished.
:'''Furnius''': You cannot quench the flames of revenge.
:'''Torcho''': You snuffed out our father to become king!
:'''Furnius''': Oh, yeah. ''[Laughs].'' Take them to the punishment room.

== ''[[w:The Hard Easy (Adventure Time)|The Hard Easy]]'' [4.23] ==
:
:'''Woobeewoo''': Here we are: the village of my people. It doesn't have an official name, but I call it &quot;South Woobeewoo&quot;. ''[thunder rumbles]'' Uh, this way. ''[they walk over to a red mudscamp wearing a jingle bell on top of two mudscamps]'' This is the village elder. He'll fill you in on the deets.
:'''Mudscamp Elder''': Greeting, heroes. ''[squirts red sauce at Jake]''
:'''Jake''': Blehh!! Ohh! Ughh!!
:'''Mudscamp Elder''': I'm so sorry about that. You know, we-we secrete stink-oil all day o-out our awful-sauce glands. You know, I guess I should have warned you. Anyway, let me cut the cheese.
:'''Mudscamp''': ''[whispers]'' Cut to the chase.
:'''Mudscamp Elder''': Yes. You know, I mean, of course, cut to the chase. I mean, for many... for many moons now, our village has been under siege by the Mega Frog.
:''[flashback to see a ginormous frog beast approaching the village; it croaks and lets out a loud revolting roar]''
:'''Mudscamp Elder''': He's 100 stories of 110 percent 10-speed terror like bam—like fresh out the grease. I mean, he chases us all up and down from first base to home, trying to eat us alive. We-we've always managed to escape, but it's ''crazy'' scary. I mean, w-what if you got ate? Think about it. All alone in a stomach full of acid? ''[high voice]'' &quot;Mommy! Mommy, mommy, help me!&quot; ''[low voice]'' &quot;Billy, is that you? Mommy, you sound exactly—&quot; &quot;Mommy, you sound exactly like me... Mommy, you sound exactly like me!&quot; &quot;Billy, uh...&quot; ''[normal voice]'' Anyway... If this keeps up, we'll have to move to the city and get jobs. We don't know how-how to do anything cool. Look, see? The-they're already practicing, the poor fools. They don't know what they're in for.
:'''Jake''': Whoa! Relax, buddy! You're talkin' to the right couple of guys.
:'''Finn''': Yeah, man! Me and Jake will bust this Mega Frog up right up his bumblestop! ''[imitates bomb whistling, exploding]''
:'''Mudscamp Elder''': That is excellent news. I mean, h-here, take this, please. ''[two mudscamps bring in a bag of lollipops]'' It's not much, b-but it's all we have. ''[Finn takes bag]'' It's... it's a bag of lollies.
:'''Jake''': That's nice! Thanks, man!
:'''Mudscamp Elder''': Now farewell, heroes. We're counting on you... for reals!

== ''[[w:Reign of Gunters|Reign of Gunters]]'' [4.24] ==
:
:'''Ice King''': Ah, let's see. ''[looks at sign above shop door]'' That's the symbol for magic items, right? ''[sees Huntress Wizard standing nearby]'' Hey, this is the magic items shop, right?
:'''Huntress Wizard''': What's it look like, ya donk?
:'''Ice King''': I know that, I know! Why can't they write it on the sign, though? Why's it all gotta be secret? Let's just put it all out there, huh? Equal distribution of magic to the people! No more symbols! No more initiations! You feeling me, Huntress Wizard? 
:'''Huntress Wizard''': You tryin' to get killed, Ice King?
:'''Ice King''': Uh-uh, I was just steppin' to ya, girl, with my intellectual wizard politics. ''[she leaves; whispers]'' No, don't go! Ugh. Well... &quot;Swing at every ball,&quot; that's what Jay T. Dawgzone says. 

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Ice King''': Hey! What's goin' on here? Why's this place all crazy? I was just flying by and— ''[sees Gunther, gasps]'' GUNTHER!! '''YOU''' TOOK MY STUFF!!
:'''Gunther''': Wenk.
:'''Ice King''': That's bad! You know what you get now?!
:'''Gunther''': ''[sadly]'' Wenk...
:'''Ice King''': That's right, you get the squirty-squirts. ''[squirts spray bottle at Gunther]'' Bad! Bad! Now take off my demonic wishing eye.
:''[Gunther takes off the demonic wishing eye and all the other penguins disappear]''
:'''Ice King''': All right, Gunther, now go home.
:'''Gunther''': ''[walks off]'' Wenk.
:'''Ice King''': That's right, walk! And while you're walking home, you think about what you did! ''[sighs]'' It's getting worse and worse with him. He just— he hates it when I leave the castle. I'm sorry, guys.
:'''Jake''': Uh, dude, where have you been?!
:'''Finn''': Yeah, and why are you all jacked up?
:'''Ice King''': ''[chuckles]'' Well, I got into some crazy wiz-biz over at Wizard City. Honestly, I don't even know how I survived. Basically, it was the craziest showdown ever. I— ''[catches himself]'' I wish I could tell you all about it, but you know... &quot;Wizards only, fools.&quot; Keep it tight.

== ''[[w:I Remember You (Adventure Time)|I Remember You]]'' [4.25] ==
:'''Finn''': Well, well, well. ''[watching Ice King from a distance]'' Looks like Ice King is up to bad biscuits, braddah.
:'''Jake''': Bad biscuits make the baker broke, bro.
:'''Finn''': Ice King, you make our job too easy. You ready to roll on this fool?
:'''Jake''': Dinner rowh!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Ice King''': Hold on! ''[drops down on the floor]'' Do you... like me?
:'''Marceline''': Of course I do, you old jerk!
:'''Ice King''': Really? Wow. ''[wipes sleeve, spreads his arms wide]'' How about... one of these? ''[Marceline pauses for a beat. She embraces him, visibly bittersweet]'' Ah! ''[they pull back and look at each other's eyes; he then puckers his lips]'' Mwah, mwah, mwah... ''[Marceline gasps]''
:'''Marceline''': ''AUUHH''!! Not like that!! Dah, you don't remember anything, do you... ''Simon''?!
:'''Ice King''': What-mon?
:'''Marceline''': Why do you even come see me when you don't remember me? You don't even know who ''you'' are!
:'''Ice King''': Yes, I do! I am a lyricist! ''[pulling pages out his beard]'' It's all here, on the page! The page! In song, baby! On this receipt! On this takeout menu! On these newspapers! ''[laughing]''
:'''Marceline''': Huh? ''[grabs a page]'' Look! This clipping! This was you, Simon! Before the war!
:'''Ice King''': Huh..? ''[muttering]'' Heh?

== ''[[w:The Lich|The Lich]]'' [4.26] ==
:'''Jake''': I dreamt when I was in kindergarten, I guess. But I had really big feet. And was also the teacher.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Bear''': Dark times are coming.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jake''': BILLY, WAKE UP!!!
:'''Billy''': What the heck are you guys doing in my crack!? It's 3 o'clock in the morning!!
:'''Finn''': Oh you know, just droppin' by to say hello, see what you been uhhhhhh... up to what uhh... How are these days..?
:'''Jake''': We came to see if you're dead.
:'''Billy''': What? Why would I be dead?
:'''Finn''': Hehe yeah.. stupid, umm... I had a dream about a bear and an old lady and a snail, and you were there and the snail killed you or something.
:''[...]''
:'''Billy''': Was the Cosmic Owl there?
:'''Finn''': Uhh... yeah, on TV. Does that count?
:'''Billy''': Your dream is an ill omen of ''grave'' significance.
:''[...]''
:'''Billy''': Finn?
:'''Finn''': Yeah?
:'''Billy''': Are you ready to come with me on a mission to save all life from the Lich?
:'''Finn''': ...Yes.

== External links==
{{wikipedia|Adventure Time}}
[[Category:Children's television seasons]]
[[Category:Adventure Time seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>hoummjif1migjarju3ad4lpdxwip9it</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Adventure Time (season 5)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>187342</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943884</id>
      <parentid>3863164</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:26:53Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30410-75</username>
        <id>3325553</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943884</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="72571" sha1="11q7xej0r9h1abusmb9jo4k9u1v2d8v" xml:space="preserve">----
:
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Adventure Time (season 1)|1]] [[Adventure Time (season 2)|2]] [[Adventure Time (season 3)|3]] [[Adventure Time (season 4)|4]] [[Adventure Time (season 5)|5]] [[Adventure Time (season 6)|6]] [[Adventure Time (season 7)|7]] [[Adventure Time (season 8)|8]] [[Adventure Time (season 9)|9]] [[Adventure Time (season 10)|10]] | [[Adventure Time: Distant Lands|Distant Lands]] | [[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake|Fionna and Cake]] | [[Adventure Time: Side Quests|Side Quests]] | [[Adventure Time|Main]]
----

{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Adventure Time|Adventure Time]]''''' (2010–present) is an American animated television series on Cartoon Network. The series follows the adventures of a boy named Finn (voiced by Jeremy Shada) and his best friend and adoptive brother Jake (voiced by John DiMaggio)—a dog with the magical power to change shape and size at will.


== ''{{w|Finn the Human (Adventure Time episode)|Finn the Human}}'' [5.13] ==
:
:'''Prismo''': Did you guys see that? You know there was a ghost wearing a dead guy. That might be the nastiest thing I've ever seen. N-n-n-n-nasty! Nasty jazz! Nas—
:'''Jake''': Hey, hey! Easy, buddy! That's our friend, Billy! He got possessed by the Lich!
:'''Prismo''': Oh, sorry! Sorry, I didn't mean nothin' by it! I mean, I have a lot of nasty friends, and my uncle was nasty. I'm basically honorary nasty.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Big Destiny''': Huh? What is this? Are you tellin' me what to wear, Trammy?
:'''Trammy''': No, boss! You look ''good''!
:'''Big Destiny''': You think I should reinvent my style, and put a stupid thing on my head!!?
:'''Trammy''': No, man!! You tell ''us'' what to wear!
:'''Big Destiny''': Otherwise you would dress like an idiot!! Bam! Crown shorts!

== ''{{w|Jake the Dog (Adventure Time episode)|Jake the Dog}}'' [5.14] ==
:
:'''Jake''': ''[in Time Room]'' Finn? Finn! Hey, guy, where's my buddy?
:'''Prismo''': Oh, when he wished for the Lich to have never existed... ''[slurps cup]'' Finn left my Time Room and entered his wish-altered reality. We can watch him on my TV wall.
:''[a string of colors materializes into a remote. Prismo presses the on button and turns on TV wall; see ice-crown Finn and mule Bartram at the center of mutagenic destruction]''
:'''Jake''': Whoa. Alternate-wish-world Finn is mad uglies. ''[sees Bartram]'' Dang, I'm mad uglies too! ''[Finn climbs up the ice]'' Everything looks nuts!
:'''Prismo''': Yes. Sometimes a well-intentioned wish can lead to... nuts. But, you know... ''you'' get a wish too.
:'''Jake''': What?!
:'''Prismo''': Yep, totally. ''[press button, mutes TV wall]'' You can have anything you want.
:'''Jake''': I wish for... a sandwich!
:'''Prismo''': A sandwich? You're gonna waste your one wish on a sandwich? You don't want anything else?
:'''Jake''': Nah, sandwich is good. Maybe about this big, or... this big. On ciabatta bread, maybe? Hmm, I don't know. Whatever you got around, your choice.
:'''Prismo''': Dude, I'll just make you a sandwich! You should use your wish on something important. ''[beat]'' You know... on someone who might need it? ''[looks at TV wall, Jake stares blankly]'' I'm talking about him over there.
:'''Jake''': Ohh...

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''The Lich''': Ha ha ha... I wish, for the extinction of all life-''efil-'' for Finn and Jake to go back home, to Ooo. ''[Realizes what he just said]'' Huh?! NO WAIT! THAT'S NOT WHAT I WISHED FOR!!
:'''Prismo''': Sorry, guy, you only get one wish. ''[The Lich and Prismo look towards Finn &amp; Jake]'' Hey Jake, did you see that? Monkey's Paw. ''[Finn &amp; Jake fade away]''
:''[Finn and Jake reappear on Ooo, just outside the Candy Kingdom, it's night, and they reappear midair]''
:'''Finn &amp; Jake''': UGH!! ''[Both of them hit the ground'']
:'''Finn''': ''[Shocked]'' JAKE! WHAT THE... WHY DID THE LICH WISH... WHA?! JAKE?!
:'''Jake''': It worked! ''[Hugs Finn]''
:''[Bonnie leaves the castle and runs towards them]''
:'''Finn''': Jake, this is serious! Something really messed up is happening!
:'''Jake''': HA HA! It already happened, and it never happened!
:'''Bonnie''': ''[Horrified]'' WHAT?! WHAT HAPPENED?!
:'''Jake''': Nothing, 'cause i saved everyone.

== ''Five More Short Graybles'' [5.15] ==
:
:'''Finn/Jake''': OhwhatagodboyamI!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jake''': Little Jack Horner&lt;br&gt;Sat on a corner&lt;br&gt;Eating a Christmas pie&lt;br&gt;He put in his thumb&lt;br&gt;And pulled out a plum&lt;br&gt;And said, &quot;What a good boy am I!&quot;
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ice King''': Ahhh, sweetie, this is bliss. Feels so math to finally be normal. Hah, not like those two freaks. ''[points to Finn and Jake sticking their thumbs in a snowman]'' What are they doin' over there? Anyway, I— Ohh, who's that?
:''[He looks at his other foot and there is a winking face on it]''
:'''Ice King''': Oh. Oh my.

== ''Up a Tree'' [5.16] ==
:
:'''Finn''': Sometimes a man... just has to retrieve his own disc.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Finn wakes up to find himself in a cell guarded by a squirrel]''
:'''Squirrel''': What?
:'''Finn''': Uhh... I didn't say anything. ''[long beat]'' What are they gonna do to me?
:'''Squirrel''': What?
:'''Finn''': What are they gonna do—
:'''Squirrel''': I'm not allowed to talk to you. ''[Finn slumps down for a beat]'' Anyone or anything that winds up in the tree becomes part of the tree forever and ever. In the tree, part of the tree.
:'''Finn''': So... does that mean I'm a prisoner forever?
:'''Squirrel''': Well, yes and no. Are you a prisoner? Yes. Will you ever be free? No. In the tree, part of the tree, it's very simple.
:'''Finn''': Doesn't that mean you're not allowed to leave, either?
:'''Squirrel''': No, I— well, yes and no. Am I allowed to leave the tree? No. Have I already left the tree? Am I miles away from the tree right now flying around like the flying squirrel that I am? Yes! ''[turns to Finn]'' In my mind! In my mind.
:''[the squirrel turns back and looks up the window, seeing the moving clouds and blue sky]''
:'''Finn''': Do you like it here?
:'''Squirrel''': Yeah! Well, yes and no. Do I like the nuts and acorns? Yes. Do I like it when they put me down and say mean things like, &quot;You're not a flying squirrel, you're just a regular squirrel! Nyahh!&quot; ..No. Do I want to fly away from this place now? Yes. Would I make a break for it if I had a buddy to break out of here with? Yes.
:'''Finn''': Hey, buddy.
:'''Squirrel''': What? ''[Finn walks past the wide bars]''
:'''Finn''': Let's get outta here.

== ''All the Little People'' [5.17] ==
:
:'''Finn''': Hey, Jake, do you think you should date someone just like you, or someone who's like... your opposite?
:'''Jake''': I don't know. I'm the &quot;first come, first serve&quot; kinda guy. Get in line, ladies! This Rainicorn thing can't last forever! ''[chuckles]'' I didn't mean that. Don't spread that around.
:'''Finn''': So it's not good to weigh someone's qualities against your own?
:'''Jake''': Well, no. I mean, if you feel something, you ''feel'' something. It's not about personality matrixels and charts, it's all about the bu-bumps in your heart. You can't stop the pumps and bumps! Pumps and bumps! Pumps and bumps!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jake''': ''[comes down]'' You're up early.
:'''Finn''': I didn't sleep.
:'''Jake''': You stayed up all night reading trash books? ''[Finn makes a weak &quot;meh&quot; sound]'' Told you, man, those dating books... ''[slurps cup]'' That stuff is mess-you-up.
:'''Finn''': I'm not reading. I'm playing with the little wees.
:'''Jake''': Ah, lemme see little me! ''[sees little Jake sulking]'' Me looks so lonely. Hey Finn, pass me little Lady!
:'''Finn''': Uh, you guys broke up.
:'''Jake''': ''[confused]'' What?
:'''Finn''': She's with someone else now.
:'''Jake''': ''Who''?!
:'''Finn''': He's a cool guy. Don't worry about it.
:''[Jake then hears Lady's wahs, he gasps to see little Finn in Lady's lap smooching under a book teepee]''
:'''Jake''': &lt;big&gt;'''AAAHHHHH!!!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''[slams table]'' ''WHAT THE BALL, MAN''?!!
:'''Finn''': ''[chuckles]'' What?
:'''Jake''': &quot;What&quot;? What do ya think &quot;''what''&quot;?!
:'''Finn''': Come on, they're not real, they're like toys. These guys here, they’re goin' out. ''[points to little Marceline licking Peppermint Butler's red side]'' It's pretty serious. And look at Choose Goose and Lollipop Girl. They're still testing the waters. ''[little Choose Goose and Lollipop Girl are dancing; Lollipop Girl flies up and Abracadaniel catches her. They all embrace]'' But I think things are gonna work out. Check out Xergiok and Turtle P.
:''[little Turtle Princess spanks little Xergiok's behind, both wah-ing in delight. Finn laughs]''
:'''Finn''': Weird. But cool, right, Jake? ''[Jake slowly backs away to the exit]''
:'''Jake''': I don't like where you're going with this. It ain't wholesome. I’m gonna go to Lady's for a few days... clear my head. ''[leaves]''
:'''Finn''': Okay. Whatever whatevs.

== ''{{w|Bad Little Boy}}'' [5.18] ==
:
:'''Marshall Lee''': Don't you know I'm a villain? Every night I'm out killin', sending everyone running like children. I know why you're mad at me. I've got demon eyes, and they're looking right through your anatomy, into your deepest fears. Baby, I'm not from here, I'm from the Nightosphere. To me, you're clear, transparent. You got a thing for me, girl; it's apparent.

== ''Jake the Dad'' [5.19] ==
:
:'''Jake''': ''[shouts holo-message speaker]'' The puppies aren't moving!
:'''Holo-Margaret''': &lt;span style=&quot;color:green&quot;&gt;''PERFORM CPR, THEY MIGHT BE DEAD!!''&lt;/span&gt;
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jake Jr.''': Dad, the manual's a BUNCHA JUNK!! Just give us a chance.
:'''Jake''': Jake Jr.! You said your first words! &quot;The manual's a buncha junk!&quot; The manual's a buncha junk??

== ''Davey'' [5.20] ==
:''[Finn shaves the top of his head and dyes his remaining blonde hair dark brown with molasses and a piece of hair like a moustache]''
:'''Finn''': Hotcha! BMO, how do I look? ''[BMO's eyes turn into Xs]''
:'''BMO''': Like the devil!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': ''[deep, man's voice]'' Davey.
:'''Jake''': Oh, now have you lost your teacups, man?
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': No more Davey!
:'''Davey''': But you love being Davey.
:'''Finn''': I do love being Davey but being Davey caused Jake to be arrested!
:'''Davey''': But remember that time when Davey sat in the park and saw some people walkin' around?
:'''Finn''': Yeah, that was nice.
:'''Davey''': And remember that time when Davey swept the floors?
:'''Finn''': Hehehe... Yeah, that was great too. But...
:'''Davey''': Do you really wanna go back to bein' a famous hero? Why not just be Davey? Simple man with simple goals and simple problems... You can just blend in and live the simple life.
:'''Finn''': Yeah, blend in... Y'know, maybe I'll be Davey... just one more time. One more time...

== ''Mystery Dungeon'' [5.21] ==
:
:'''Tree Trunks''': ''[nudges Shelby on top of her head]'' Shelby? Shelby, wake up.
:'''Shelby''': W-where am I? Tree Trunks, what's going on?
:'''Tree Trunks''': Uh, you've been snoozing on my dome. I just woke up in this room with these fellas: Nectar, Ice Cream, and one of the Lemoncarbs.
:'''Lemongrab''': Awake! Avast! Hold tight your buns, if buns you do hold dear, for time has come to wake and run AND NOT GIVE WAY TO '''FEAR!!!'''
:'''Tree Trunks''': What are those awful words?!
:'''Lemongrab''': I am reading the wall. They are wall words.
:'''Tree Trunks''': ''[reading]'' &quot;Beyond this room are a thousand rooms, outside of them still more.&quot;
:'''Shelby''': &quot;Behind each door on every floor, danger, danger evermore!&quot;
:'''NEPTR''': &quot;Stranger, hark! The traps galore may kill you whilst you do explore to free yourself...&quot; ''[Ice King stops scribbling on his book, looks back at the others]''
:'''Ice King''': Huh? Oh! Now where were we? &quot;To free yourself from this tomb and nevermore re-enter, find the room amidst the rooms that lies exactly center&quot;? ''[glowing orange lines form a map on the walls]''
:'''Shelby''': It's a map!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lemongrab''': ''[walks to a color-coordinated door]'' This door lead to the center exit!
:'''NEPTR''': The door is secured with an esoteric encryption system.
:'''Ice King''': ''[picks up Tree Trunks]'' Well, that's okay 'cause you can &quot;hack the mainframe&quot; or whatever, right, BMO?
:'''NEPTR''': I'm not BMO. I'm your son, NEPTR. I-I throw pies.
:'''Ice King''': ''[beat, drops Tree Trunks]'' Ahhhs!! I grabbed the wrong robot! Dirt! Nuts! Face!!
:'''Shelby''': Uhh, what is going on here, Ice King?
:'''Tree Trunks''': Yes. I am getting a weird feeling in my stomach, and I think it's 'cause of you, Mr. Wizard. You'd better fess up to whatever you're doing. I got no time for nobody dancin' around and actin' a fool at my expense. I'm Tree Trunks, and people know I'm kind and honest. That's why people like me. ''[Ice King scribbles his book]''
:'''Ice King''': Huh? Wha-what? What was she saying?
:'''Tree Trunks''': So stop sellin' fib bibs and give it straight.
:'''Ice King''': Oh!! All right! I knocked y'all out and brought you here! ''[puts book in his beard]'' I'm sorry, but I had to do it! Each of you possess the exact qualities to pass the various tests of this dungeon. Tree Trunks, with your baking skills... Lemongrab, with your lemony, juicy...
:'''Lemongrab''': Essence.
:'''Ice King''': Yeah... Shelby, who should have been the bait for the fish.
:'''Shelby''': Yeah, but no thanks.
:'''Ice King''': And BMO, who should have been here instead of this weird piece of junk that I don't remember nothin' about. ''[NEPTR strolls to the side]'' Argh!! I failed!
:'''NEPTR''': Father, look at me! ''[he throws a baked pie at the door, it short-circuits and recoils itself; Ice King gasps]'' Are you happy with me ''now'', Papi?
:'''Ice King''': ''[pants]'' Yes! Yes! ''[picks up and hugs NEPTR]'' Oh, my son! The grand prize of me loins!

== ''All Your Fault'' [5.22] ==
:
:
:
:'''Lemonjon''': ''[approaches to the Candy Kingdom, stops]'' Whoa, hold the phone. What is this powerful new juice coursing fromst my core source? Arrrrrrgh! The juice aches! Is this the rumored ache of feeling? The feeling of caring unknown to lemons? New thoughts emerge... If I act, the Candy People will suffer... If I don't, the Lemon People will suffer. The greater good demands but one course only—that I dissolve the bonds uniting me and become component to all!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Finn''': ''[sees Lemongrabs in dungeon]'' There they are! Hey, Lemongrabs, we're here! We're gonna get you out, just hold tight!
:'''Lemongrab 1''': Go away.
:'''Lemongrab 2''': No food here.
:'''Jake''': Maybe the kidnapper's in here, too, coercing them.
:'''Finn''': Probably the grossest one of all, too—beet-red skin, barf, poopin' all its junk-sculpture.
:'''Jake''': Ugh, stop it! You're just makin' it worse! Let's just get this over with. ''[punches doors]''
:'''Finn''': Lemongrabs, you are free!
:'''Lemongrab 1''': They broke the door! The door is broken now!
:'''Lemongrab 2''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''FIX THE DOOOOOR''!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Jake''': Fix the door? What? What? Fix the door? Fix what? What's goin' on here? &quot;Fix the door?&quot; Finn, what's goin' on?! &quot;Fix the door?!&quot;
:'''Lemongrab 1''': It doesn't matter anymore.
:'''Lemongrab 2''': There is no more candy to horde. Let them keep what crumbs they find. ''[the lemon creatures sniff and lick the floor]'' For there are no crumbs.
:'''Lemongrabs''': MMMMNNOOOOOO CUUURRUUUMMBS!!!

== ''Little Dude'' [5.23] ==
:
:'''Wizard''': Whomever the hat possesses gains the proportional strength of a hat! Look out, he's got the horse again!!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': Didn't Lady tell you not to use the Sassage flare?
:'''Jake''': Yeah.
:'''Finn''': Well, don't abuse it man, cos you're gettin'...
:'''Jake''': I'm gettin' what?
:'''Finn''': Cos you're getting fat.

== ''Vault of Bones'' [5.24] ==
:
:
:
:''[after Flame King appears provoking Flame Princess and vanishes under Jake's teapot]''
:'''Finn''': What was that?
:'''Jake''': He was saying &quot;evil, evil, evil&quot; over and over again.
:'''Finn''': Yeah, I-I heard.
:'''Jake''': Oh, I wasn't sure if you heard, 'cause he was whispering.
:'''Finn''': Yeah. I heard.
:'''Flame Princess''': Ugh, he's so annoying.
:'''Jake''': I was just trying to help! 
:'''Flame Princess''': Oh, not you, Jake, my dad. I always catch him whispering stuff into my ear while I'm not paying attention. He keeps saying I'm evil. ''[Finn stands up on the table]''
:'''Finn''': Whoa! You best not be believing that whack bunk. I bet he's trying to make your life bad so you'll think you're evil. But you're really not!
:'''Flame Princess''': How can I know for sure?
:'''Finn''': ..Dungeons.
:'''Flame Princess''': What?
:'''Finn''': Let's have a good time in a dungeon or something. That ''always'' clears my head and reminds me of what's what.
:'''Flame Princess''': And... that'll make me good?
:'''Finn''': No, that'll show you not to worry so much, 'cause you're already good... in here. ''[taps his chest looking for his heart]''
:'''Flame Princess''': Okay... yeah! Let's do it!
:'''Finn''': Dungeons!
:'''Flame Princess''': Dungeons!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Finn observes a giant bulking skeleton, sees a chandelier of skulls tied to a rope below. Finn turns to Flame Princess, whispering]''
:'''Finn''': Okay, this guy's too big to intimidate, but I have a plan. First, you shoot some fire at that rope. The chandelier falls, distracts the monster. We run in—element of surprise.
:'''Flame Princess''': Wow.
:'''Finn''': You ready?
:'''Flame Princess''': Yeah. ''[Finn walks, stops]''
:'''Finn''': Before we go in, how good are you at quietly throwing a tiny bit of fire?
:'''Flame Princess''': Uh, what?
:'''Finn''': Like on a scale of one to a hundred, how good are you at quietly throwing a tiny bit of fire at a rope fifty feet away?
:'''Flame Princess''': Uh...
:'''Finn''': Scale of one to a hundred.
:'''Flame Princess''': ''[pause]'' 42.
:'''Finn''': ''[out loud]'' 42?!
:'''Flame Princess''': Well, I don't know. I never rated myself.
:'''Finn''': No, that's cool. That's cool. Just try and hit that rope.

== ''The Great Bird Man'' [5.25] ==
:
:''[the mysterious man starts pouring water into Finn's mouth; he wakes up and coughs]''
:'''Finn''': Huh...? Where am I?
:'''Man''': This is the rookery, where I and my bird friends dwell!
:'''Finn''': So are you like the Great Bird Man?
:'''Man''': That's what they call me nowadays. But when I first met you Finn, and you Jake, you knew me as ''[suddenly, his voice rises in pitch]'' Xergiok, the Goblin King!!
:'''Finn/Jake''': Whaaa—?!
:'''Xergiok''': When we first met, I was crazy for smacking goblin hams. I was cruel, selfish, brutal. But every thing changed after I was defeated by the two of you!
:'''Jake''': So, you got some sleek new shades and now everything's different?
:'''Xergiok''': Oh, no, my change has been deep. And these whatsits are only curtains for empty windows.
:''[he lifts his shades and puts them back repeatedly, revealing black, empty eye sockets]''
:'''Finn''': Whoa! What happened in there?
:'''Xergiok''': I miffed off a wizard and he took my eyes. ''[pan down to see his eyes attached to his beard]'' I wonder what he wanted them for. Some kind of lotion, or potion... or time-traveling spell? I'll never know! Never, ever. Never. But losing my eyesight was only the beginning of my wonderful change! I started meditating and doing yoga. Now I can &quot;see&quot; with my heart and smell with my soul.
:'''Jake''': You smell with your beard?
:'''Xergiok''': I smell with my nose!
:'''Jake''': Lame.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Finn and Jake tiptoe into another cave; Finn trips over a rock with Jake next to a bird sleeping in its nest]''
:'''Finn''': Doi!!
:''[Finn crashes into the bird's behind; it cries, starts flying upward and hits its head on the point of a stalactite, falls down to the ground]''
:'''Finn''': Oh!
:''[the stalactite breaks off from the ceiling and falls onto the bird's legs; it screams]''
:'''Finn/Jake''': Oh, crease!
:'''Xergiok''': Psychic links! Cardamom, my friend, I'm coming! I'm com— ''[he goes tumbling down the hill]'' Mother of Gob!! Hold on, Cardy! ''[Finn and Jake hide in the shadows]'' Okay, here I am, buddy. Ol' Xergy's here. ''[lifts the stalactite off its legs; he feels the injured leg]'' Let's see now— aw, dang! ''[inhales]'' Wo-o-o-o-o-ong! Wo-o-o-o-o-ong! Wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wong! ''[the injured bird's leg is now a green humanlike leg]''
:'''Finn''': ''[hushed]'' Whaaat?
:'''Jake''': Shush, Chile!
:'''Xergiok''': Ah, Finn and Jake, you are here!
:'''Finn''': Where'd you learn that heal spell?
:'''Xergiok''': I use no magic. I manipulated space with a vibrational chant. You see, now the injury has transferred to me! ''[he lifts his leg, which is now Cardamom's broken leg]'' Ooh, yeah! That hurts, baby! ''Whoooo''!! Can't you see, Jake? I love these birds more than I love myself. What am I to the deafening roar of the macrocosmos? Nothing much. Just a vessel to carry the message of friendship to y'all beasts and dirt.
:'''Finn''': Dirt?
:'''Xergiok''': Yeah, look! ''[picks up two handfuls of dirt]'' Hello, friends! Go for a ride!

== ''{{w|Simon &amp; Marcy}}'' [5.26] ==
:
:'''Finn''': Marceline, why'd you invite Ancient Chubs to play basketball?
:'''Jake''': Yeah!
:'''Marceline''': Hahh... ''[beat]'' Well, he's very dear to my heart. I love him.
:'''Jake''': ..What you are talking about, Marceline?
:'''Marceline''': We've been around for a long time. We've had a long history together, it's.. it's a long story.
:'''Finn''': Lay it on us.
:'''Jake''': Yeah! Lay it out, Marcy!
:'''Ice King''': Yeah, lay down, Marceline! Go to sleep. Right, what're we talkin' about?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Simon''': Hey, little lady -- how about a ride on an old man's back, hm?
:'''Marcy''': I can walk. I'm not a child, Simon.
:'''Simon''': Look, sweetie, someday you'll be too big to hold. I'm as old as garlic balls if someone offered to pick me up and carry me, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Take it, we can get it.
:'''Marcy''': Achoo! ''[laughing]''
:'''Simon''': Gross. You're gross.
:'''Marcy''': You're gross, Simon!
:'''Simon''': We're both gross, darling.

== ''{{w|A Glitch Is a Glitch}}'' [5.27] ==
:
:'''Finn''': Man, I don't have the patience for this animation junk. Whoever does this must have no life whatsoev— ''[punches himself in the face]'' oof!! Why did I do that?

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Ice King''': Ahem! Anyone having any... ''[robotic voice]'' computer problems? ''[a laugh track plays out and stops in recorder he is holding]''
:'''Finn''': How do we stop the computer worm, you pile of goo?!
:'''Ice King''': ''[cackling]'' My worm exists beyond your comprehension within the universal source code!
:'''Finn''': STOP TALKING LIKE A NERD AND GIVE IT TO US STRAIGHT!!!
:'''Ice King''': Once the glitch does its work, the whole world will be ''deleted'' except for me and my Bubblygums. ''[he moves to smooch Bubblegum; she keeps him away with a tree branch which she throws at his face]'' Ow!! ''[stammers]'' Well, see y'all! I'm gonna prepare for my... date. ''[teleports away. A glitched donut person runs out screaming]''
:'''Donut Person''': Aaah!! My beautiful face! My hopes and dreams ruined! ''[screams distortedly, runs away]''
:'''Finn''': Don't worry, Princess, we'll take care of this thing.
:'''Bubblegum''':  Oh, me too. ''[loads her candy tranquilizer gun]'' I'm gonna take care of it, too.
:'''Finn''': ''[beat]'' Okay!
{{line}}
:''(At Ice King's castle, Bubblegum, consumed by anger, begins smashing his computer with a bat.)''
:'''Princess Bubblegum''': STUPID...COMPUTER! ''(grunts)'' '''&lt;big&gt;YOU... SASSAFRASSIN'...HAMMASLAMMIN'...WHAMMAJAMMIN'&lt;/big&gt;''' ''(delivers a battle cry as she bodyslams the destroyed computer.)

== ''{{w|Puhoy}}'' [5.28] ==
:'''Jake''': I mean, here you are chillin' with history's coolest friends building an actual pillow fort, but you just sit there sulkin'. I'm like, what gives?
:'''Finn''': ''[sigh]'' I guess I'm just thinking about Flame Princess. I told her a joke the other day, and she didn't even laugh or anything. Guess it's over between us.
:'''Jake''': That's it? A ''joke''?
:'''BMO''': Maybe she just didn't get it yet.
:'''Finn''': Yeah right, Beemo. More like she used up all her laughs on some other guy's jokes, probably. Man, having a girlfriend is hard.
:'''Jake''': No! Being crazy is hard. You're getting all hung up, ''[stretches his arm around his face]'' all hung up on imaginary problems. ''[opens arm as a miniature Jake in his head]'' You gotta focus on what's real, man. ''[grabs a cup]'' You see this cup? This is literally my favorite cup. ''[throws cup out the window]'' Now it's gone forever, so it's not real, and I don't care about it anymore.
:'''BMO''': ''[gasps]'' Oh no! My favorite window!
:'''Finn''':  I don't even know ''what'' you guys are talking about. ''[picks up sword and cup]'' I think I just need some alone time. Gotta let my mind fester a bit, you know? ''[enters pillow fort]'' I'll be back in a little while.
:'''Jake''': Finn, festering's always bad, man! There's no good kind of festering!! FIIINN!!!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': That was Flame Princess. She said she didn't get my joke until now—and that it's really funny and awesome.
:'''BMO''': Haha, I knew it!
:'''Jake''': Yeah, that's great, man. Now what about this dream?
:'''Finn''': What dream?
:'''Jake''': The dream you were just talking about?
:'''Finn''': Huh?
:'''Jake''': Just a second ago?
:'''Finn''': ''[shrugs]''
:'''Jake''': The DREAM you just had in the pillow fort?
:'''Finn''': Pfffbb.

== ''BMO Lost'' [5.29] ==
:'''BMO''': ''[lays down with its screen cracked]'' So... this is the pits. ''[a bubble pops out of a mug]''
:'''Bubble''': I hear that, friend. Do you mind if I wallow with you for a bit? I'm a bubble.
:'''BMO''': Okay... nothing stopping a bubble.
:'''Bubble''': ''[sighs]'' That's what they say. Looks like you've given up on things. I'm thinking about giving up things myself. I've been lost in this wilderness a long time. Maybe you and me can wait here... to get eaten by a carnivore.
:'''BMO''': No, Bubble. ''[gets up]'' I know two heroes who can help you.
:'''Bubble''': You do?
:'''BMO''': Yes. Help me get to ''my'' home and... and we will help you find ''your'' home.
:'''Bubble''': Your friends sound great!
:'''BMO''': They are! They are huge!
:'''Bubble''': Well, then, what are we waiting for?
:'''BMO''': Nothi-i-i-ing!!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Bubble''': Um, hey... so, BMO, since we have a little time, there is something I've been wanting to say.
:'''BMO''': Hm?
:'''Bubble''': I know I might never find my real home.
:'''BMO''': ''[gasps]'' No, Bubble! That's not true!
:'''Bubble''': It is. I know it is. But it's... it's okay. Because I realized something. All this time we've been together, BMO, I haven't felt lost. I felt at home. ''[hear Jake yelling and crashing inside]'' And it's you, BMO, I feel at home with. ''[BMO gasps]'' So, I thought... I mean, if you feel the same way, I thought we could... get married. I-I mean... I'm not even sure what that means exactly, but—
:'''BMO''': I do! Oh, I do, I do!
:'''Bubble''': Oh! Wohohoho... whoo!
:'''Jake''': Hey, a bubble! ''[pops Bubble]'' Pop! ''[BMO gasps in shock; Jake giggles]''
:'''BMO''': Bubble? Bubble?! ''[wails, plucks up grass; Finn comes over]'' No! No, no, no! My Bubble! No!! ''[falls on the grass]''
:'''Finn''': What's so funny?
:'''Jake''': Oh, it's just BMO. He's pretending to be all messed up 'cause his bubble got popped. ''[chuckles as BMO starts grieving on the grass]''
:'''Finn''': Ohhh. ''[chuckles]'' That is pretty funny.
:'''BMO''': Oh, Bubble, I'm so sorry I brought you here! ''[sobbing]''
:'''Bubble's Voice''': ''[heard disembodiedly]'' &quot;''There, there, BMO. It's okay.''&quot;
:'''BMO''': Bubble? Is that you? I hear you in my head, but I don't see you! ''[both Finn and Jake start snickering]'' Oh no, have I gone bananas?
:'''Bubble's Voice''': &quot;''No, BMO, it's okay. You see, I'm finally free.''&quot;
:'''BMO''': I don't understand, Bubble.
:'''Bubble's Voice''': &quot;''No, not Bubble. Air. BMO, I'm Air! I've been trapped in that bubble for so long, I'd forgotten who I am. But now I'm finally home.''&quot;
:'''BMO''': Yay! Oh, b-but wait! Now you don't need me... to feel... at home.
:'''Air''': &quot;''No. See, that's what's so great. Now we can be together forever, BMO—every minute of every day. No more privacy, no more quiet, no more alone. Every room you ever go in, I'll already be there... waiting... forever and ever... until the end of time.''&quot;
:'''BMO''': ..YAAAYYY!!

== ''Princess Potluck'' [5.30] ==
:'''Finn''': Man, I wish I had my other sock. This callus is gonna junk up my good time at PB's potluck.
:'''Jake''': Don't worry man, we're gonna have a ton of fun. We'll eat some melon, I'll get some compliments on my pretty makeup...
:'''Finn''': You look like a target.
:'''Jake''': I look pretty!!

== ''{{w|James Baxter the Horse}}'' [5.31] ==
:'''BMO''': ''Oh, oh BMO, how'd you get so pregnant?''
:''Who's the mother, oh who's the father?''
:''Shh, I'll tell you if you keep it a secret''
:''We will, we will, we will''

:''All right, last night, an electric presence came into my room and said,''
:''&quot;BMO, I need your perfect body to host the human incarnation of a baby~!&quot;''

== ''Shh!'' [5.32] ==
:'''BMO''': Why are you not talking?! What happened to Finn and Jake?! '''YOU HAVE TAKEN OVER THEIR BODIES!'''

== ''The Suitor'' [5.33] ==
:''[Peppermint Butler and Braco proceed into her lab, where Bubblegum is seen sleeping with a pizza box on her head]''
:'''Peppermint Butler''': Prubs!
:'''Bubblegum''': ''[wakes up]'' Hey, what? ''[takes pizza slice off her face]'' Pff... who's that?
:'''Peppermint Butler''': This is Braco.
:'''Braco''': Son of Logan, who was begat by Hobus.
:'''Bubblegum''': ''[writing notes down]'' Okay... yeah?
:'''Braco''': I want to take you... on a date. ''[PB pauses for a beat]''
:'''Bubblegum''': Thank you, Braco. That's very sweet, but no.
:'''Peppermint Butler''': Princess, this lab reeks like brown mist! It's unhealthy. You've got to get outside and do some research on boys!
:'''Bubblegum''': That is ''way'' out of line, Peps, and you guys are donking up my research! ''[starts thrashing stuff off her desk]'' Hello!! Donk!! Donk!!
:'''Braco''': Princess, I love you! I-I love you so much it hurts! The pain, it— Uhh... ''[PB walks to him and uses a laser pointer on his right eye]''
:'''Bubblegum''': Hmm. What you're feeling is called infatuation. The pain is the product of you overvaluing a projected, imaginary relationship with me.
:'''Braco''': No, Princess! What I feel is real! Meet me in the garden tonight and unlock the mystery ''[runs to the balcony and jumps down]'' of me-e-e-e-e!!
:'''Bubblegum''': Braco!
:'''Braco''': ''[lying on top of Mr. Cupcake]'' Come to me tonight! 
:'''Bubblegum''': ''[beat]'' Okay, Braco. But just for research, all right?
:'''Braco''': Yes, Princess!
:'''Peppermint Butler''': Good job, man! You take it from here!

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Finn''': What'd ya think of that Braco guy? I mean, he seems kinda weird, and passive, and baby lambish, ''[Jake gasps]'' and too unheroic for Peebs. ''[Jake panics, points Finn to see Braco behind him]'' And then I smashed that peach!
:'''Braco''': ''[kneels down]'' Jake and Finn, I seek your aid. I need to ask you for that map, therewith I can bring the soul stone to Bubblegum, then she'll love me!
:'''Finn''': That road you're on leads to nowhere. ''[hands map to Braco]''
:'''Braco''': Oh! Oh! ''[runs off in the distance]'' Thank you!

== ''The Party's Over, Isla de Señorita'' [5.34] ==
:'''Finn''': Ice King, get out of Princess—
:'''Ice King''': I'M LEAVING!!!

== ''One Last Job'' [5.35] ==
:'''Tiffany''': ''[sees his watch beeping]'' Well, well. From the shadows of dream, the dog wakes to find its... uh... ''[reads lines on his arm]'' the dog wakes to find its mangy tail flopping in the dust like a fish in a tree. That fish is me, Tiffany! ''[jumps into laundry chute, laughing]'' I'm coming, Jake! I'm coming!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Jake''': Hi, guys. Were you waiting for me in the dark?
:'''Gareth''': Tiffany wouldn't let us turn them on.
:'''Tiffany''': Never mind that! The real question is, what's that slo-no Finn know about this?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Jake''': Nah, BMO's covering for me.
:'''Flying Lettuce Bros.''': So what's the deal, Jake?
:'''Gareth''': Yeah, why'd you call us back?
:'''Jake''': I got a job for you guys. ''[everyone gathers to him]'' One last score—the big one.
:'''Gareth''': The Baker's Shard? ''[chuckles]'' Are you for real, man?
:'''Flying Lettuce Bros.''': Hey, that's crazy, Jake. ''[out of sync]'' We always said, &quot;play it safe.&quot;
:'''Tiffany''': Can't you see, guys? He's desperate. Somebody got to him 'cause he's soft now.
:'''Jake''': What the— pshhh! Tiffany! I'm the same Jake! I just stopped stealing, mostly! Because when you get older, you're supposed to get in other stuff, like {{w|graphic design}} or {{w|pottery}}. It's called &quot;growing up&quot;!
:'''Gareth''': I don't wanna do [[poetry]]— I mean, pottery.
:'''Jake''': Dude! Are you guys on board or what?! You really got something better to do? Really?! I know you don't, Tiffany!
:'''Tiffany''': ''[roughly]'' Glom you, Jake.
:'''Flying Lettuce Bros.''': How are we gonna split the Baker's Shard?
:'''Jake''': We ain't keeping it. I'm passing the shard off to a mystery dude. ''[the FL Bros. and Gareth slowly become shocked]''
:'''Tiffany''': ''[growls]'' What the...?!
:'''Jake''': The dude has my kid. ''[Tiffany immediately goes to a mix of surprise and empathy; he starts crying]'' My little Jake Jr. ''[coughs, clears throat]''
:'''Gareth''': ''[beat]'' I'm in.
:'''Flying Lettuce Bros.''': We're in.
:'''Tiffany''': I know that vault inside and out—every guard rotation, every camera, every hidden trap. And that safe is locked up so tight, it makes me wanna spit out my guts and cry about it. Do you even have a plan, Jake?!
:'''Jake''': I have the first part. Okay, let's freakin' do this!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;

:'''Private''': Captain, the milk delivery has arrived.
:'''Captain of the Banana Guards''': Well, check them in, Private.
:'''Private''': Yes, sir. ''[walks out]''
:'''Captain of the Banana Guards''': And, Private, I'm very thirsty. Bring me back the most delicious flavor they have.
:'''Private''': Yes, sir!

== ''Another Five More Short Graybles'' [5.36] ==
:'''Bubblegum''': Cinnamon Bun, you can't sleep with the nightlight anymore. You're basically 30. It's starting to bum everyone out.
:'''Cinnamon Bun''': I CAN'T HANDLE THIS DENIAL OF LIIIGHT!!!
:'''Bubblegum''': Yeah, well...

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Finn and Jake stand up before a pile of ordinary, everyday objects]''
:'''Finn''': Now that's a time machine.
:'''Jake''': Hey, sweetie! Sweetie, look! Your time machine's all ready!
:'''Jake Jr.''': Aw yeah, you havin' fun, dad?
:'''Jake''': Aw, anything for my baby pup.
:'''Jake Jr.''': OK. As long as you're having fun.
:'''Jake''': ''[laughing]'' Time machine! SHIPYOW!
:''[Jake presses a button, when suddenly the entire room gets covered in a red light. Finn and Jake scream while Jake Jr. is shouting in Korean and then everything suddenly stops]''
:'''Cuber''': Ha-ha! There it is! You see? The birdhouse door—it's right above the peg thingy. Why didn't I think of that? ''[laughing]'' Well, I guess that's it for this week. I'll see you crimpy glimmers on the-- what? What's that? You want to finish the grayble? ''[the screen is seen moving up and down, implying the viewer is shaking his head in confirmation]'' You want to see if you can still guess the theme? ''[the screen is seen left and right, implying the viewer is shaking his head in negation]'' You just want to see how it ends. ''[the screen is seen moving up and down, implying the viewer is shaking his head in confirmation]'' Well, let's get right to it, then. Ha-ha.
:''[The scene cuts back to the Tree Fort, the camera reveals the bright red lights are coming from BMO, making an alarm.]''
:'''BMO''': STRANGER! STRANGER! STRANGER! STRANGER! STRANGER! ''[he is shown pointing toward Cinnamon Bun trying to take the night-light in form of Jake. As he continues saying &quot;STRANGER!&quot;, Cinnamon Bun puts his finger before his lips, telling BMO to hush. Jake Jr. then walks up to BMO and types &quot;ITS OK,&quot; making BMO disarm the alarm]'' Excuse me.
:'''Jake Jr.''': ''[puts BMO down and turns toward Cinnamon Bun]'' HEY! Why are you trying to steal my dad's stuff!?!
:'''Cinnamon Bun''': Hey, I need a night-light because I'm so scared!
:'''Jake Jr.''': Man, you can't steal, dummy. ''[Cinnamon Bun starts crying]'' Fine! ''[uses her hair to get the night-light and gives it to Cinnamon Bun]'' Here. NOW GET LOST!
:'''Cinnamon Bun''': ''[gasps; laughing]'' Yes! Take that, Princess Bubblegum! ''[leaves the Tree Fort in a hurry; Jake Jr. closes the door]''
:'''BMO''': Jake Jr., I'm sorry for messing up your time travel.
:'''Jake Jr.''': Aw, that's OK. ''[pets BMO, making it smile]'' It was just make-believe, anyways.
:'''Finn''': O-ho-ho, was it? Then how do you explain tomorrow's newspaper?
:''[Jake is holding up newspaper with the headlines &quot;Tomorrow's newspaper. JAKE JR. REAL COOL KID!&quot;]''

== ''Candy Streets'' [5.37] ==
:'''Finn''': ''[meets Ann at the pharmacy]'' I'm Finn. ''[holds Jake as a police badge]'' This is my partner, Jake.
:'''Jake''': Hello, citizen. Had anyone in here looking to buy some mini adhesive bandages today?
:'''Ann''': A lot of people come through my store, gentlemen. You can't seriously think I'd be able to remember any one particular customer among the countless others I see on a daily basis now, can you?
:'''Finn''': ''[long beat]'' I guess not. Fair do's. C'mon, Jake—
:'''Ann''': Wait! Now that you mention it, there was this one guy in here earlier. Real suspicious type. Had a nosebleed. Said it was the first one he'd had in years. ''[Finn takes out a notepad and writes down]'' Used to get them all the time as a kid, he said. ''[Jake slaps notepad away, jumps onto Finn's hand as a notepad]'' Could never remember if he was supposed to pinch his nose and hold his head back, ''[Finn tries to put his pencil on Jake but keeps the point away from him]'' or pinch his nose and hold his head forward. ''[Finn finally pokes Jake's body]'' Maybe it was a case of being boxed on the nose too many times—made the blood vessels in his lower septum weak and vulnerable to hemorrhaging. Anyway, his mammy always said it was because he couldn't keep all those picky little fingers out of his dirty little nose holes. ''[Jake climbs on top of Finn's head, morphs into a police hat]'' He didn't buy it, though. He always thought it had—
:'''Finn''': Ma'am, can you give us a name?
:'''Ann''': Mmmm... nope. No, wait—yes, I can. Pete Sassafrass.
:''[Finn and Jake look at each other, surprised. A transparent LSP flies across the screen from earlier saying, &quot;Pete...sa...sass...as...&quot;]'' 
:'''Finn''': Did you catch which way he was going?
:'''Ann''': Of course! He said he was catching a train at 11:27, Candy Kingdom station, Platform 5. Heh. I'm sorry, I wish I could remember more.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': Man, we didn't just crack that case... ''[throws donuts bags to Jake as a police car]'' we crunched it. Crumbled it.
:'''Jake''': We are awesome at being cops. ''[munches donut]'' There's no question about that.
:'''Finn''': Ahh, call me crazy, but I was thinking... maybe we should actually become detectives, like... as a job! When we were out on the streets back there, getting those leads, busting that perp, it just felt so... I don't know... right. ''[Jake's head forms up underneath Finn's coffee cup]''
:'''Jake''': I know, man. ''[eats donut]'' I actually totally do know exactly what you mean. ''[Finn takes a yellow donut out of his bag and munches it]''
:'''Finn''': Ah— dude. ''[show Finn sitting on the street with Jake in his hands]''
:'''Jake''': I told you, I have a problem. ''[turns back, sweating]'' I can't stop!

== ''{{w|Wizards Only, Fools}}'' [5.38] ==
:'''Finn''': I got traumatised by those underpanties. This sucks.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Ice King''': ''[on tape recorder]'' &quot;No way! I'm no rat! I am bound by the sacred trust of esoteric knowledge!&quot;
:'''PB''': &quot;Say the password, Ice King!&quot;
:'''Ice King''': &quot;You think I'll just hand you the keys to the city? I'd rather DIE.&quot;
:'''PB''': &quot;Say the password.&quot;
:'''Ice King''': &quot;OW!! MY PINKY!! Ow.. Thank you. You know, no one has touched me in months. Could you touch me again?&quot;
:'''PB''': &quot;''PASSWORD!! &lt;big&gt;'''NOW!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;'' &quot;
:'''Ice King''': &quot;'''AHH!!''' OH ''OWW~!!!'' WIZARDS RULE!! THE PASSWORD IS &quot;WIZARDS RULE!&quot;

== ''Jake Suit'' [5.39] ==
:'''Jake''': You were a little rough with the Jake suit today, bro. You mashed up my doggy bag pretty hard.
:'''Finn''': Why didn't you stop me?
:'''Jake''': When you're in my body, it pushes out my brain, so I have no control.
:'''Finn''': Come on, bro, taking pain is easy. You just have to imagine that every bruise is a hickey from the universe. And everyone wants to get with the universe. 
:'''Jake''': I bet you wouldn't be saying that nonsense if I wore you as a suit.
:'''Finn''': I bet I ''would'' be saying that nonsense.
:'''Jake''': Okay, bro, let's see how you like it. I'll bring the pain!
:'''Finn''': Do it, bro! Get in here!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Lady Rainicorn is washing dishes when she sees Finn out the window and gasps]''
:'''Finn''': Hi, Lady. ''[walks around, kicks front door open]''
:'''Lady Rainicorn''': ''[in Korean]'' (&quot;Finn! Where are you going? Where is Jake?&quot;) ''[Jake stretches out of Finn's mouth]''
:'''Jake''': I'm right here.
:'''Lady Rainicorn''': Oh... ''[T.V. walks by holding a bowl of nachos]''
:'''T.V.''': 'Sup?
:'''Jake''': What's T.V. doing here? I thought all the kids found apartments.
:'''Lady Rainicorn''': (&quot;It's just that he won't leave the house, regardless what I say to him.&quot;) ''[T.V. starts typing on his computer]''
:'''Jake''': Ha-ha! That's my boy. Momma's basement baby. ''[sighs. He makes Finn sit down on bean bag chair]''
:'''Lady Rainicorn''': (&quot;Jake, what are you doing? Why are you in Finn's body?&quot;)
:'''Jake''': Oh, it's this bet we're doing. It's not really a bet. It's more like a showdown. I'm trying to get him to admit that it's hard when someone wears you as a suit. How do I win the bet, Lady?
:'''T.V.''': Hey, Dad? Why don't you try jumping in a volcano?

== ''{{w|Be More (Adventure Time)|Be More}}'' [5.40] ==
:'''Finn''': ''[distorted]'' Beemo? ''[see a distorting image of Finn and Jake]''
:'''Jake''': Beemo? ''[BMO groans]''
:'''Finn''': Beemo, are you okay?
:'''Jake''': What did you do?
:'''BMO''': It wasn't me. I didn't do ''[glitching]'' noth— do noth— do nothing.
:'''Finn''': Come on, Beemo. We gotta get you to the hospital or whatevs.
:'''BMO''': No, no. I am fine. Really. ''[BMO's screen glitches out and he yells in pain. He emits smoke and stops glitching]'' Oh, yes... okay. Please take me to get fixed. I need— need— need— need to get new core system drivers installed. We can get them at the MO Factory in the Bad Lands, where I was born.
:'''Finn''': The MO Factory?
:'''BMO''': Yeah. I am programmed with emergency instructions to get there. Come on! There's no—no—no—no—no time to lo—lo—lo—lo—lose.

== ''{{w|Sky Witch}}'' [5.41] ==
:'''PB''': Raggedy Princess can make you a new Hambo in like three seconds. A Raggedy Princess can BE your new Hambo. She'd do it too. That girl has like, ''zero'' self-respect. Haha. That's mean. Don't tell her I said that.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Marceline''': ..You killed him??
:'''PB''': Don't be dense! Hambo can't even talk! Snap out of it, girl.
:'''Marceline''': He's been with the witch this whole time! Maybe he can talk now!

== ''{{w|Frost &amp; Fire (Adventure Time)|Frost &amp; Fire}}'' [5.42] ==
:'''Ice King''': Oh, man! Times! I call times! ''[encases himself in a larger version of his head, whimpers]''
:'''Flame Princess''': It's only okay if the person who's making the fun is someone that I'm ''[punches off nose]'' '''cool''' with.
:'''Ice King''': We're totes cool! I-I-I'm Ice King!
:'''Flame Princess''': ''[continues punching parts off]'' And they '''do it''' in a '''respectful''' and '''knowing''' way!
:'''Ice King''': Respect? I got all kinds of respect! ''[she lands down]''
:'''Flame Princess''': Oh, yeah? ''[a moving snow bear approaches behind her]'' Then what's with that stupid, smirky face?
:'''Ice King''': Smirk? Why, I smirk when I'm nervous.
:'''Snow Bear''': Ugh, bear hug!! ''[crushes her]''
:'''Flame Princess''': ''WHAAAH''!!! ''[cools down, Finn gasps]''
:'''Ice King''': And also when I'm about to ''win''! ''[cackles]'' Boo-yah! And I didn't even get to test out my new fireproof grundies.
:'''Finn''': Put it away, man! You didn't win nothin'!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': Jake! I had another dream! My body was being blasted! ''[inhales sharply]'' But this time, Ice King was blasting me with ice cubes! Ohh! It was awful! And someone else was there. He was just laughing and laughing. He was in the first dream too, but he was whispering. I couldn't make out what he was saying. ''[snaps finger]'' Oh, yeah! It was the Cosmic Owl! ''[Jake spits out all his tea off his mouth]''
:'''Jake''': WHAT?!! You didn't tell me the Cosmic Owl was there!!
:'''Finn''': I couldn't see him last time!
:'''Jake''': Dude, that means it was a prophetic dream. You have to finish the original dream! Cosmic Owl could be whispering something wildly significant! You have to get Flame Princess and Ice King to fight again so you can see the end of the dream! Make 'em fight!! Ahh!! Do it now!!
:''[Finn runs frantically to the table and writes down a piece of paper]''
:'''Finn''': &quot;Dear Ice King, you smell like stink, you're unpleasant, you're not funny, you're old, blahblahblahblah, sincerely love, Flame Princess. P.S. Let us fight!!&quot; HAHHHRR''!!'' ''[writes another paper]'' &quot;Dear Flame Princess, you're just the worst, your hair is bad, your feet smell like face cheeks, blahblahblah, let's meet up and fight, dummy, sincerely, Ice King.&quot; ''[checks both papers]'' Hm. Flame Princess fight Ice King.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[last lines]''
:'''Ice King''': You blew it, man!

== ''Too Old'' [5.43] ==
:'''Lemonhope''': ''Poor little Lemonhope, sweet little Lemonhope''
:''Stuck in this bathroom, thrown in the garbage''
:''Dunked in the pudding, dipped in the porridge...''

:''Poor little Lemonhope, throw me a lemonrope''
:''Is there a home for me and my harp?''
:''A place where friends give me hugs?''

:''There's no use to mope, there's no use to hope''
:''No use at all for''
:''Fragile, precious, darling, baby, poor little Lemonhope...''
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jake''': ''[on the phone]'' Yo, man. How's it going? Terrible?
:'''Finn''': Well, yeah, mostly. But I think I learned something.
:'''Jake''': Go on.
:'''Finn''': Well, I'm thinkin' maybe age isn't just a number. Maybe older people, like, really are different. You know? Like, less fun inside.
:'''Jake''': So what you sayin' here?
:'''Finn''': I'm saying I think I really sbonked up. I gotta patch things up with Flame Princess.
:'''Jake''': Oh, dang! Didn't you hear? She's got a new boyfriend already!
:'''Finn''': '''What'''?! ''[Jake laughs]''
:'''Jake''': Man, I'm just kiddin'. ''[both laugh]''
:'''Finn''': Oh, yeah... ''[Jake chuckles]''
:'''Jake''': She might, though.
 
== ''Earth &amp; Water'' [5.44] ==
:'''Flame Princess''': I thought Finn was a stand-up guy, you know? But he basically betrayed me. Why do people even ''have'' secrets? It's like that in the Fire Kingdom, too. Everyone is all deceitful and [[William Shakespeare|Shakespeare]]. But out here doesn't seem any different. Why do I have to feel like this?

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:''[Finn and Jake find Ice King in their bathroom]''
:'''Finn/Jake''': The Ice King?! Grrr—eugh!
:'''Ice King''': Geez, you couldn't wait two seconds?
:'''Finn''': Ech... Why are you stinkin' up our house?
:'''Ice King''': Didn't you get my text? It said I'm stayin' with you guys— ''[takes out banana phone with Gunter keychain]'' oh, didn't go through. Well, anyways, I knew you wouldn't mind since it's sorta your fault I'm homeless, right? ''[searches duffle bag]''
:'''Finn''': Right.
:'''Ice King''': 'Cause you tricked your crazy ex into melting my Ice Kingdom?
:'''Finn''': Mm-hmm...
:'''Ice King''': With your lies and secrets? 'Member when that happened?
:'''Jake''': Dude, you can't stay here if you're gonna stank it up with your bad vibes, man! ''[Ice King sprays air freshener, Finn and Jake cough]''
:'''Ice King''': Yeah, I'm just crashing here while the penguins rebuild. I've given Gunter temporary reign.
:''[see Gunter, wearing Ice King's crown, constructing ice structures]''
:'''Ice King''': Should be fine.
:'''Finn''': Flame Princess isn't crazy.
:'''Ice King''': You're blind, Finn. You're blind! Wait, she isn't here, is she?
:'''Finn''': No.
:'''Ice King''': Whew!
:'''Finn''': She said she wanted time to herself. ''[walks out]''
:'''Ice King''': Yeesh!
:'''Jake''': Yeah. Breakups are tough.
:'''Ice King''': Heh. Yeah, like remember how you and I were married?

== ''{{w|Time Sandwich}}'' [5.45] ==
:'''Jake''': I am ready to receive instruction from the realm of creation above me for the sandwich I am about to conceive. I am open. Use me.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Jake begins to take a bite of his sandwich, Magic Man suddenly pops out of nowhere. He gasps]''
:'''Jake''': Magic Man!
:'''Magic Man''': Magic Dog! I'll take some sandwich.
:'''Jake''': You stay away from my woman... eh, my sandwich!
:'''Magic Man''': Hmm, yeah, I ''could'' do that. Or... wait. Wait! ''[conjures a small portal and takes sandwich from Jake]''
:'''Jake''': ''[gasps]'' Sandwiche! Mijo! Magic Man!! My sandwich!!
:'''Magic Man''': That's a good-looking sandwich.
:'''Jake''': What're you gonna do with it?! Something gross?! ''[Magic Man breathes on the sandwich]''
:'''Magic Man''': It's got my germs, so it's mine now.
:'''Jake''': NOOOO!! Rah!! ''[stretches his arms at Magic Man, he casts a spell back]''
:'''Magic Man''': Dead arms! ''[Jake's arms limp on the floor; he struggles]''
:'''Jake''': Give it back, you animal!
:'''Magic Man''': Look, if you really want your sandwich, you'll have to solve my little riddle. ''[punches clock, moves hands]'' When your face shows 7:20, when green leaves turn brown, the only way forward is down. Then you'll see, the wetter, the better.
:'''Jake''': That's not even a riddle! It's wordplay, at best!
:'''Magic Man''': You try and come up with something on the spot! It's hard! ''[makes a portal and slaps Jake's face through it]'' Now to savor the moment.
:''[he crashes backwards through the wall, falling down]''
:'''Magic Man''': It's just you and me, baby. 

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[running into Magic Man's time sphere, Jake imagines Mr. Cupcake flirting with a widowed Lady Rainicorn]''
:'''Jake''': Hey, Mr. Cupcake, you stay away ''[starts slowing down]'' from Lady!
:'''Finn''': ''[offscreen]'' No, man! Stay sad! Make yourself sad!
:'''Jake''': Uhh... ''[he imagines Mr. Cupcake at his grave]''
:'''Mr. Cupcake''': I-I love you, Jake. We should have hung out more.
:'''Jake''': What? Um... I love you too, Mr. Cupcake. I-I didn't want to hang because I thought Lady was into your muscles. And I thought if we'd hung out, you'd sweet-talk her and take her from me.
:'''Mr. Cupcake''': What?! I would never! I've got so much respect for you.
:'''Jake''': Dude, I have so much respect for you! I try to be like you in some aspects of my life! Look, if something were to happen to me, and I wasn't here anymore, I'd want you to take care of Lady and the kids.
:'''Mr. Cupcake''': That means so much to me. ''[crying, cradles his gravestone]'' I wish we had more time together.
:'''Jake''': ''[tearing up]'' Me... too! ''[sobbing hysterically, starts running closer to Magic Man]''
:'''Finn''': Yeah, Jake! The wetter, the better! Keep crying!!
:'''Jake''': I'm sorry, Mr. Cupcake!!

== ''The Vault'' [5.46] ==
:'''Jake''': Yo, bro, you're sleepwalking again! Wake up! ''[whacks Finn awake]''
:'''Finn''': Whoa! Jake? Was I...?
:'''Jake''': Yes, Finn. ''Again''. Every time, youse is screaming about &quot;she's got me!&quot; and all that.
:'''Finn''': She's got... what?
:'''Jake''': Wait, you don't remember? You just woke up, man! Recall it, baby! Come on! ''[Finn grunts, punches his temples]'' That's too much. Don't punch yourself.
:'''Finn''': ''[sighs]'' It's gone, I don't know.
:'''Jake''': Haah... ''[holds Finn]'' You're repressing the memory, dude.
:'''Finn''': I'm what?
:'''Jake''': You're hiding whatever she is in a mental vault.
:'''Finn''': Oh yeah, the vault. That's where the stuff I can't handle goes. Kerplunk!
:'''Jake''': Okay, so you even know you're doing it.
:'''Finn''': Yeah! ''[chuckles]''
:'''Jake''': Listen, we gotta find out who this lady is. Gotta open the vault a little.
:'''Finn''': No, sir.
:'''Jake''': It's just gonna keep happening, man!
:'''Finn''': It's all right. I'm not hurting anybody.
:'''Jake''': Finn, for reals.
:'''Finn''': ''[shivering]'' ''Nooooo''!!
:'''Jake''': All right! Chill, chill! Don't sweat it, man. It's not even a thing.
:'''Finn''': ..Cool.
:'''Jake''': Why don't you clean up the kitchen now?
:'''Finn''': Okay. I'm sorry I did that.
:'''Jake''': It's alright. It's only, like, the fifth room you've train-wrecked this month.

== ''Love Games'' [5.47] ==
:'''Slime Princess''': ''[in a private room]'' This is not going well.
:'''Finn''': I'm sorry, Slime Princess. I'm just going to mess this next trial up.
:'''Slime Princess''': Is it because you haven't done much kissing? You don't have to be embarrassed by your innocence.
:'''Finn''': Pretending to be love is making me sad. It makes me think about Flame Princess.
:'''Slime Princess''': What if I pretend to be your ex?
:'''Finn''': That's worse, I think.
:'''Slime Princess''': Well, it looks like I'm losing my kingdom to the forces of evil.
:'''Finn''': ''[sighs]'' No, Slime Princess. Let's practice this smooch.
:''[he walks to Slime Princess and lifts her up in his hands. They both start to smooch each other but Finn gags up and vomits instead]''
:'''Finn''': I'm sorry... I-I can't! ''[puts Slime Princess down, grumbles]'' Bunk this! ''[runs off]''
:'''Slime Princess''': Wait! Where are you going?
:'''Finn''': I'm going to punch Guillermo in his stupid face 'til he agrees to leave the kingdom!
:'''Slime Princess''': I want to come!

== ''Dungeon Train'' [5.48] ==
:'''Finn''': ''[taking a walk]'' What is the meaning of soup?
:'''Jake''': What? I don't know. What's with all the weird quest—?
:'''Finn''': What is the meaning of spoon?
:'''Jake''': Shoot, man. Are you still lady-sad about Flame Princess? Y'know, it's okay if you are.
:'''Finn''': Nah, that's all fine. I've just been feeling kinda... gray is all. Like my inside voice has been kinda quiet lately—not a lot of instructions forthcoming, you know?
:'''Jake''': Yeah, well, sounds like you're sad. Listen, Finn. Girls is like horses—when you fall down, it's important that you get right back on again, on a different horse. And there's a lot of fish in the sea, a lot of fish. A penny saved is a penny earned.
:'''Finn''': Yeah, I-I guess. Or maybe dating girls is like riding a bicycle...
:'''Jake''': Yeah, man, yeah!
:'''Finn''': Where, like, if you mess up, you can get really hurt forever or hurt someone you really care about.
:'''Jake''': Uh... well, I suppose.

== ''Box Prince'' [5.49] ==
:'''BMO''': ''[as Jake plays video game]'' Why do you hate cats, Jake?
:'''Jake''': Move your face, you're messing up the game! Anyway, I don't wanna talk about it. It's personal. Cats know what they did. ''[he then shudders and starts screaming]''
:'''BMO''': Is Jake okay? ''[Jake whines horribly]''
:'''Jake''': No!! I'm pretty dang far from okay! There's a little shard of tortilla chip caught between my teeth. ''[groans]''
&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Jake tries licking his teeth to get the tortilla chip out]''
:'''BMO''': Get big and the chip will fall out of your teeth.
:'''Jake''': Ha! You think I can stretch out of everything? You're so naive. To live life, you need problems.
:'''BMO''': ''[pause]'' That's stupid!
:'''Jake''': If you get everything you want the minute you want it, what's the point of living?

== ''Red Starved'' [5.50] ==
:''[Finn takes off his pack and dumps its contents on the ground. Jake takes a cookie out of the pile, Marceline holds an empty brown paper bag]''
:'''Marceline''': Hey, where are my red erasers? They were in here.
:'''Jake''': Uh-oh... I thought they were candy.
:'''Marceline''': You...ate all...MY '''RED'''?!! 
:'''Jake''': Oooh! I'm sorry!
:'''Finn''': Calm down, Marceline. There's gotta be some red stuff in these ruins. I'll go explore. You guys hang out here and save your energy. ''[walks off]''
:'''Marceline''': Thanks, Finn. ''[Finn walks into a cave, points to Jake]''
:'''Finn''': Be cool. ''[Jake eats his cookie, turns to Marceline]''
:'''Jake''': So... how hungry are you? ''[Marceline hisses at him, he cowers]'' Aah! I'm sorry! Please don't eat my blood! 

:'''Marceline''': ''(sighs)'' Jake, I don't want to hurt you, but you should know things get crazy when I'm hungry.
:'''Jake''': Like, how crazy?
:'''Marceline''': I'm gonna go into feral mode. Oh, it's not gonna be pretty. ''[Jake whimpers, eats his cookie]'' I know! Let's tie me up. That way, you won't be scared.
:'''Jake''': And that will keep you from draining my bloods?
:'''Marceline''': Not physically, no, but as a prop, I think it'll be good for both of us. You know, psychologically.
:'''Jake''': ''[gulps, whispers]'' Hurry, Finn...
{{line}}
:'''Marceline''': Get me a bucket of lava, Jake...
:'''Jake''': Hey, you know better than that!
:'''Marceline''': ''(ravenously)'' '''DO IT...!'''
:''(Jake stares fearfully at Marceline.)''
:'''Jake''': ''(nervously)'' Don't go crazy, okay?
:'''Marceline''': I'm '''freaking &lt;big&gt;HUNGRY!&lt;/big&gt;'''
:'''Jake''': Oh, why did you leave me alone here, dude?
{{line}}
:'''Jake''': Oh, my glob, oh, my glob, where are you, man? Marcy's wigging out!
:'''Marceline''': '''Jaa-aake...'''
:'''Jake''': What?
:'''Marceline''': '''I can smell your insides, Jake. They smell...'''''(sniffs)''''' ...&lt;big&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;RED!!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/big&gt;'''
:'''Jake''': '''AHHHHHH!!'''
:'''Marceline''': Yeah, let me see in there!
:'''Jake''': &lt;big&gt;'''AHHHHHHHHH!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Marceline''': OH, YEAH!
:'''Jake''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''AHHHHHHHHH!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

== ''Play Date'' [5.51] ==
:'''Ice King''': ''[points accusingly at Abracadaniel]'' This wizard donk is trying to jack my treehouse styles just 'cause he beat me that one time at Wizard Battle, and if he takes one step closer, I'll bust him up one real good!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Finn''': Hey, Simon, how would you like to stay in the coolest hotel?
:'''Jake''': Lumpy Space Princess stays there! That's how cool it is!
:'''Finn''': We'll even put you up for a few weeks until your place is ready.
:'''Ice King''': Ah, but that sounds lonely. I'd just like to stay here with you guys. Having roommates is nice. Keeps me out of my head. Gunther only says &quot;Wenk&quot;. What's up with that?
:'''Finn''': ''[chuckles nervously]'' Yeah. ''[Jake drags him away to the kitchen]''
:'''Jake''': Finn, I'm ready to murder the Ice King.
:'''Finn''': No... uh, I have another idea.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[FInn and Jake jumps downstairs to see a black-skinned demon holding Ice King and Abracadaniel by their necks]''
:'''Finn/Jake''': Kee Oth!
:'''Kee Oth''': Joshua! ''[Finn and Jake walk to Kee Oth saying &quot;Kee Oth Rama Pan...&quot;]'' Don't say another word, Joshua, or their throats are going to get it! If you speak the words to banish me, I'll reduce your friends to ash.
:'''Jake''': ''[pause]'' Kee Oth Rama P— ''[Finn covers his mouth]''
:'''Finn''': Dude!!
:'''Jake''': Thought he was bluffing.
:'''Kee Oth''': I'm not bluffing, Joshua! If you do not willingly return my stolen blood, I will destroy him and him! ''[Finn and Jake run towards the demon-blood sword's holder]''
:'''Finn''': Ah! The sword!
:'''Jake''': Scary! ''[Finn takes the sword]''
:'''Finn''': I just can't do it, Jake. This is Dad's sword!
:'''Jake''': You don't have any other choice! Do it!
:'''Kee Oth''': '''Do it!!''' ''[Finn's eyes water; breaks the sword in half using his knee. Blood-red mist rises from the pieces]''
:'''Finn''': Whoa, bro.
:''[Finn and Jake then wave the blood-red mist to Kee Oth. He drops Ice King and Abracadaniel. He becomes red and much bigger]''
:'''Finn''': You got your blood. Now get outta here!
:'''Kee Oth''': All right, I'll go. Psych! Got you now, Joshua! 
:''[Kee Oth catches Jake in his right hand. He starts cackling and vanishes with Jake being engulfed in fire. Finn drops down on his knees while Abracadaniel and Ice King scratch their heads]''
:'''Abracadaniel''': Uh, hey... so, uh, I should be getting home.
:'''Ice King''': Uh, yeah, me, too. Hey, Abracadaniel, you wanna hang out at my place?
:'''Abracadaniel''': I thought your house broke.
:'''Ice King''': Psh! Ice Kingdom's been rebuilt for weeks. ''[they both leave; Finn is shellshocked with his broken sword in his hands]''
:'''Finn''': Jake...?

== ''The Pit'' [5.52] ==


== ''James'' [5.53] ==
:'''Finn''': Thanks for bringing us along on the trip, Peebs.
:'''Jake''': Yeah. It's unfortunate we can't enjoy some of these cool things we're passing by, but I guess we could do that the next time we're in the Desert of Wonders, whenever that is!
:'''Bubblegum''': We're on a mission to collect samples only. I want to start colonizing this area by the end of the year.
:'''Jake''': You are killing me, PB!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Bubblegum''': Those goo monsters will barf their way through the hull in mere minutes. Finn, what should we do?
:'''Finn''': Uh... let's radio for help.
:'''Bubblegum''': Good idea, but looks like the radio's kaplowed. 
:'''James''': ''[whirs]'' I can fix that radio. Mrow-row-row! Pling! ''[pulls out a coin]'' With this! It's a lucky coin! Bam! ''[places coin on radio]'' When I bust out my coin, great stuff happens, like when I was chosen to go on this mission with you guys! Hee-hee-hee-hee! ''[Jake grumbles uncomfortably, enlarges his head and shouts]''
:'''Jake''': &lt;big&gt;''JAMES, THAT'S NOT HELPING!!!''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Finn''': Don't panic, baby.
:'''Bubblegum''': Yes. James is very resourceful. He'll work it out.
:''[James keeps making mechanical noises fiddling the radio with his coin; he turns a screw with the coin]''
:'''James''': Look, Princess! I invented a coin-operated coin screwdrive-e-er!
:'''Bubblegum''': See what I mean? ''[gives thumbs up]'' Good job, James. Come on, guys. Let's take inventory of the emergency gear. ''[James opens radio]''
:'''James''': Lucky coin strikes again!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Finn''': ''[meets Jake in the back room with Bubblegum]'' You want to do this trust-huddle style, buddy?
:'''Jake''': Mm. ''[the three form a huddle]''
:'''Bubblegum''': So, what's all the hubbub?
:'''Jake''': What's up with that James dude?
:'''Finn''': Yeah. Do you think James could be breaking things on purpose?
:'''Bubblegum''': No. James wouldn't do that.
:'''Jake''': Wake up! Dude's a saboteur.
:'''Bubblegum''': It's not James.
:'''James''': ''[in the huddle]'' What's not James? ''[beat]'' I got lonely up front. I wanted to see what y'all are up to.
:'''Finn''': Hey, that gives me an idea.
:'''James''': Me too! Vrrt! ''[laughs]'' Just kidding! I don't have any ideas.

== ''{{w|Root Beer Guy}}'' [5.54] ==
:'''Root Beer Guy''': ''[typewriting in voiceover]'' &quot;I knew there was trouble. I could smell it on the hot evening breeze. Fortunately for me, trouble is my favorite thing... because I'm Joe Milkshake. I kicked down the door with one swift decisive motion&quot;.. No... &quot;With one swift and decisive motion, I kicked down the door&quot;— No! &quot;The door was kicked down by me swiftly, with not many motions but a whole lot of decisiveness was used by me that was apparent to everybody.&quot;

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Root Beer Guy follows Finn and Jake into the Pudding's Hardware store; he comes to the store owner]''
:'''Root Beer Guy''': Mr. Pudding—
:'''Mr. Pudding''': Oh, you can just call me Buck.
:'''Root Beer Guy''': Uh, Buck, those—
:'''Buck''': No need to be formal here, son.
:'''Root Beer Guy''': Th-those guys were just in here, can you tell me what they bought?
:'''Buck''': Well, let's see. A {{w|shovel}}, a {{w|saw}}, some {{w|plastic bag}}s, some {{w|duct tape}}, a {{w|club (weapon)|bludgeon}}, a {{w|mop}}, {{w|rubber glove}}s. 
:''[as Buck finishes, RBG holds the pack of matches out of his pocket reading &quot;Greetings from Beautiful Lake Butterscotch&quot;]''
:'''Root Beer Guy''': Say, Mister... Buck, do you know anything about this Lake Butterscotch?
:'''Buck''': A right nice spot, Lake Butterscotch. Miles from where anyone can hear a person scream, if a person was screaming for some reason. Creepy now that I think about it. Nothing up there these days but some abandoned caverns. Nice place to hide a body if you're into that sort of thing. ''[RBG runs offscreen to a truck]'' Son, now, what are you doin' in my pickup truck?

== ''{{w|Betty (Adventure Time)|Betty}}'' [5.55] ==
:''[Gunter guides Marceline, Finn and Jake to Simon in his ice laboratory]''
:'''Marceline''': Simon!
:'''Simon''': Marceline! ''[she flies down to him and embrace each other]''
:'''Marceline''': I thought I'd never see you again.
:'''Simon''': I can hardly believe it myself. You're all grown up.
:'''Jake''': Believe? She's like a million years old.
:'''Simon''': One million years?! How can it be?!
:'''Marceline''': He's just kidding. I'm only a thousand.
:'''Jake''': And still lookin' good!
:'''Finn''': Do you remember anything when you were the Ice King?
:'''Simon''': Nothing specific, just dream-like impressions.
:'''Finn''': Do you still have impressions from all the times you flip your bricks?
:'''Simon''': I have... bruises.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Betty and Simon fly the magic carpet heading for Wizard City]''
:'''Betty''': Get on, Simon!
:'''Simon''': I am getting on... the death bus! ''[Death appears to be driving on an invisible bus seat]''
:'''Death''': I got you in my sights, Simon! ''[cackling]''
:'''Simon''': It's my time, Betty! I don't want to be the Ice King again! It's like living with eternal diaper butt, I can't do it!
:'''Betty''': Not forever! Destroying Bella Noche and getting your powers back will buy me time to find a loophole that'll undo your curse and your death. I can do it, you got to believe me, Simon! ''[Simon starts crying tears]''
:'''Simon''': I...
:'''Death''': Get real, man. You're gonna be the Ice King 'til the sun blows up. This is your one chance. I made a mixtape for the ride, &quot;Summer Jams 3&quot;.
:'''Simon''': If I don't let her try, then what am I? What am us?
:'''Betty''': What?
:'''Death''': Uh, fair enough. See you in a few.

== ''{{w|Bad Timing (Adventure Time)|Bad Timing}}'' [5.56] ==
:'''Lumpy Space Princess''': To let someone you love go into the arms of another takes a big person. I don't know if I can be that big.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Lumpy Space Princess eavesdrops under Jake's chair seeing Bubblegum's time bubble, throws Jake up high flying across the room]''
:'''LSP''': Take me back to when my ex-boyfriend Brad loved me!! ''[gets in time bubble]''
:'''Bubblegum''': LSP.
:'''LSP''': Wha?
:'''Bubblegum''': LSP, that's not how it works. It can only rearrange your molecules into a previously logged formation, and you need these gloves.
:'''LSP''': ''[hushed]'' ..Give them to me.
:'''Bubblegum''': No.
:'''LSP''': You witch! Give them to me now!! ''[pounds table]''
:'''Bubblegum''': No, I'm sorry, but you need to pull yourself toge— ''[LSP jumps on her to the floor]''
:'''LSP''': You skunk! ''[starts ripping off PB's hair]'' You skunk, you skunk!! You pretty skunk!! You don't know heartache, with the whole Candy Kingdom in love with your pretty Bubblegum buns!! ''[Bubblegum hits LSP with her tiara,  knocks into a bookshelf]'' Glob! ''[pants as peeved Bubblegum stands up with Jake watching]''
:'''Bubblegum''': Hear me, Lumpy Space Princess. I will avoid declaring war on the entirety of Lumpy Space, ruled by your ''parents'', if you apologize to me immediately! ''[LSP gets up]''
:'''LSP''': I'm sorry-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y... ''[floats toward the door]'' I'm sorry you're so ''[quietly]'' stupid. ''[slams door]''
:'''Jake/Punchbowl''': Whoa!! ''[both laughing]''
:'''Bubblegum''': Sheesh!

== ''Lemonhope Part One'' [5.57] ==
:'''Lemongrab''': &quot;In conclusion, no one needs to come here ever, especially Lemonhope and I ate my brother, goodbye!&quot; 
:''[LG's body ruptures even more worser and LG 2 comes out]''
:'''Lemongrab 2''': &quot;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''SAVE US, LEMONHOPE!!! YOU'RE OUR ONLY LEMONHO—'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&quot;

== ''Lemonhope Part Two'' [5.58] ==
:'''Phlannel''': Morning, Lemonhope! Hey, is there any more white coal down in the hold? ''[pulls bucket full of steaming hot black diamonds]'' More black diamonds equals more love potions. The old three Rs, you know what I'm saying? &quot;R-R-Romance.&quot; ''[chuckles]'' Oh, man, I can't wait for some lo-o-ove. It's been so lo— ''[drops bucket]'' whoops! Oh, rats. Oh, well. ''[looks to Lemonhope]'' Hey, don't sweat it, buddy. It wasn't your fault.
:'''Lemonhope''': I-It's not that, Phlannel. I-I had a bad dream.
:'''Phlannel''': Again? That's the third time this week.
:'''Lemonhope''': ''[sighs]'' I'm free now, Phlannel, to do all whatevs I ever wanted, but all I think about is my old life. What does it mean?
:'''Phlannel''': Well, it's true you ''are'' free—free to help the Lemon People or leave them be. But a deft unpaid is not easily forgotten, so you are a prisoner still... ''in deinem kopf''.
:'''Lemonhope''': Huh. That's what Mistress always said, and I didn't even listen.
:'''Phlannel''': Ah, Lemonhope, you're a doer, not a listener. You learn with your hands and heart, not your head. So, what will you do, Lemonhope?
:'''Lemonhope''': I'll... I'll-I'll go back and... I'll help my people... and maybe I'll feel better.
:'''Phlannel''': ''[laughs joyfully]'' And how will you do it?
:'''Lemonhope''': Um, with my harp and... m-my flute! A-and help from my friend Phlannel!
:'''Phlannel''': Ah, little Lemonhope. Of course I'll take you as far as I can, but I can't interfere directly in Lemongrab politics. All those old pacts and treaties have me sklonked up tighter than a synethic zanoit sterilzer bed compressor tube enlarger on garbage day.

&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Lemongrab''': Ohhhh, The Harp! Didn't i just explain? I've got things in my-uugghh [''Lemongrab 2 removes the corks''] Uh! AH!! MMY THINGS!! Wragh... aggh.. mmm.. Agh! [''Tries to recover his corks, but fails, the Lemon Children grab his arms, chanting &quot;Hope&quot; while doing so''] AAAH!! OH, LET ME GO! '''LET ME GOOOOO!!!'''
:'''Lemongrab 2''': The harp, Lemonhope, THE HAARP!!
[Lemonhope starts playing the harp while giving a shocked look at Lemongrab]
:'''Lemongrab''': OH! OOH!! OOH, THE SOUND'S AWFUUULLL!!!
:'''Lemongrab 2''': FASTER, LEMONHOPE!!
[''lemonhope sweats as he plays the harp faster'']
:'''Lemongrab''': '''WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!'''
:'''Lemongrab 2''': '''FASTER, LEMONHOPE!!'''
:'''Lemongrab''': '''I CAN'T STAND NO MORE!!'''
:'''Lemongrab 2''': FASTEER!!
[''Lemonhope bares his teeth'']
:'''Lemongrab''': '''WUAAAAAAAAAAA-'''[''Lemongrab explodes, sending the Lemon children flying in the air, bits of both Lemongrabs fall back to the ground, including Lemonhope and two other Children'']

== ''{{w|Billy's Bucket List}}'' [5.59] ==
:'''Finn''': &quot;Lie on my back in the ocean.&quot; Cool. ''RRRRRRHNN!!!'' ...Why the ocean, Billy!?
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': Off the dome, here we go. Unh. 
:''I'm-a started now. I'm-a battle now.''
:''We gonna make a rhyme, so I can rap this time.''
:''I rap for millions...''
:''[...]''
:''Sesquipedalians!''
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': What's the thing you wanted to tell me?
:'''Billy''': ''Oh, uh... You must go to the citadel. That's where your father is.''
:'''Finn''': Joshua's not alive. Me and Jake buried him behind the--
:'''Billy''': ''Not Joshua! Your other dad. Dad the Human.''
:'''Finn''': What?
:'''Billy''': ''Your father, Finn. He's alive! He's alive. (He's alive... He's alive...)''

== External links==
{{wikipedia|Adventure Time}}

[[Category:Children's television seasons]]
[[Category:Adventure Time seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>11q7xej0r9h1abusmb9jo4k9u1v2d8v</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Adventure Time (season 6)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>187343</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943885</id>
      <parentid>3771989</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:27:05Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30410-75</username>
        <id>3325553</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943885</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="44807" sha1="lxwkhc10fk5rajemlc2koh6dg63ytcy" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Adventure Time (season 1)|1]] [[Adventure Time (season 2)|2]] [[Adventure Time (season 3)|3]] [[Adventure Time (season 4)|4]] [[Adventure Time (season 5)|5]] [[Adventure Time (season 6)|6]] [[Adventure Time (season 7)|7]] [[Adventure Time (season 8)|8]] [[Adventure Time (season 9)|9]] [[Adventure Time (season 10)|10]] | [[Adventure Time: Distant Lands|Distant Lands]] | [[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake|Fionna and Cake]] | [[Adventure Time: Side Quests|Side Quests]] | [[Adventure Time|Main]]
----

{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Adventure Time|Adventure Time]]''''' (2010–2018) is an American animated television series on Cartoon Network. The series follows the adventures of a boy named Finn (voiced by Jeremy Shada) and his best friend and adoptive brother Jake (voiced by John DiMaggio)—a dog with the magical power to change shape and size at will.

== ''[[w:Wake Up / Escape from the Citadel|Wake Up]]'' [6.01] ==
:'''Prismo/Jake''': Peppermint Butler! Death!
:'''Jake''': What's up?
:'''Peppermint Butler''': Hey, um... those guys are doing selfies on the Lich. ''[pan right to see Grob Gob Glob Grod taking pictures of themselves on the Lich's shoulder]'' Is that safe?
:'''Gob''': ''[chuckles]'' Definitely gonna send these to Denise.
:'''Prismo''': Oh yeah, that's fine. He's harmless.
:'''Peppermint Butler''': Yeah, but why isn't he killing everyone in the room right now? Controlling our minds, making us rip each other's eyes out while we buttercup one another?
:'''Prismo''': Well, the Lich's primary function is to cause mass death. And since he can't do that while he is trapped in my Time Room, he's stuck in a standstill, like a machine without a purpose.
:'''Peppermint Butler''': ''[turns back]'' ..I'm so scared right now.
:'''Death''': Yikes.
:'''Jake''': Aw, don't worry, he ain't gonna hurt nobody. ''[stretches his body over, puts his cup on the Lich's head]'' Ha!! You got a cup on your head! Ha ha, you dingus! ''[laughs, stretches back]'' See, he's docile as a lamb.
:'''Peppermint Butler''': Hmm... Well, okay. Then I guess I can go for a selfie too!
:'''Jake''': Yeah, man! Make your dreams come true!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Finn''': Dude... I found out my human dad is still alive.
:'''Jake''': Whoa, what?
:'''Finn''': He's at someplace called the Citadel.
:'''Jake''': Waoh! Are.. are you gonna go see him?
:'''Finn''': I dunno. Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe's there a good reason he didn't raise me. Like, he was probably captured by thieves and kept a slave for years.
:'''Jake''': Yeah—or maybe he was ambushed in the wild and hid you, so you wouldn't be captured too.
:'''Finn''': Yeah.. maybe it's better not to rock the boat.
:'''Jake''': But... it might also be good to find out if got any genetic wrist factors or allergies or whatever. Plus, you get to see what you look like as an old guy. Could be cool.
:'''Finn''': Heh... I guess it would be okay to meet him. Just to know what I look like.
:'''Jake''': Cool.

== ''[[w:Wake Up / Escape from the Citadel|Escape from the Citadel]]'' [6.02] ==
:'''Finn''': ''[sees crystalized Lich teleported upside down]'' Hey, the Lich again! This must be where the prison cells be at. See? Good riddance too. I hope you rot forever, you awful jerk clapper. Some people just make the world a worse place to be in just by being around, Jake. That's right, bad apples. &quot;Lock 'em all up,&quot; I say. At the bottom of the ocean, where it's too dark to see.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Man''': Hey, good job, son! Rub some of that sap on my leg there. Make sure to get it into the chicken wing hole.
:'''Finn''': ''[shudders]'' Dad...
:'''Man''': Martin.
:'''Finn''': Okay, M-Martin. We need to talk.
:'''Martin''': Yeah, okay, kid, but hurry it up. I'm trying to act cool here, but this thing ''really'' stings! 
:''[beat, Finn inhales and talks speedily]''
:'''Finn''': Why'd you abandon me in the forest when I was a little baby!?!
:'''Martin''': Oh... I mean... Heh... You know me. I'm a funny guy!
:'''Finn''': Wh— wha?
:'''Martin''': ''[facepalms]'' Augh... I don't know. It was a long time ago. Who knows... ''[points at Finn]'' maybe ''you'' left me!
:''[Finn makes an unhappy expression with Jake leaning on his shoulder, staring angrily at Martin. He sighs]''
:'''Martin''': But, hey! Daddy's back! ''[grunts, scoots closer to Finn]'' You and me—Daddy and Baby. Or should I say... Baby and Daddy. ''[taps his cheek]'' Now slap that sap!
:'''Finn''': Uggh... ''[takes some of the sap and spreads it on his leg bone]'' Yeech.
:''[the sap on Martin's leg bone regenerates new veins, muscle and skin immediately]''
:'''Martin''': Whoa! Would you look at that? Smooth like new. ''[looks at his boot]'' Tch... couldn't fix the boot too, huh?

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Lich''': '''Fall.''' [''Finn and Jake close their eyes and fall''] Ha ha hahahahahaha.... You are alone, child. There is only darkness for you, and only death for your people. [''Points his finger at the asteroid with the escaping prisoners''] These ancients are just the beginning. I will command a great and terrible army... [''Finn stands up and summons the Grass Sword, but he's too weakened, and collapses on a puddle of Guardian blood'']  and we will sail to a billion worlds. We will sail until every light has been extinguished. You are strong, child. But I am beyond strength. I am the end. [''Finn opens his eyes, and as the Lich's hand moves towards him, he closes his left hand, covered in the shiny blood''] And I have come for you, Finn. ''[Finn slaps him with the blood on his hand. The Lich starts to grow veins and muscle. This causes the blackness to go away. The Lich starts to spazz and make bizarre noises as he is tainted by what he is the opposite of: Life. Everyone who was under his spell aren't anymore]''
:'''Finn''': ''[sits up]'' What? You don't like this stuff, huh? ''[reaches for more guardian blood]'' Whoa! ''[The Lich's transformation goes faster and Jake wakes up. Jake witnesses Lich transform and is disturbed, closing his eyes. Lich falls over, now made of flesh]'' Right in the doorbell.

== ''James II'' [6.03] ==
:'''Finn''': Is this... James heaven?
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Banana Guard 1''': Hey guys, it's the picture of one of the perpetrators. Take a good look.
:'''All Banana Guards''': Oooooohh.
:'''Bubblegum''': There's 25 of them.
:'''Banana Guard 1''': ''[beat]'' I need to see the other 24 pictures.
:'''Bubblegum''': Nope, you only need that one.
:'''Banana Guard 1''': ..What?! How can one picture identify 25 perpetrators?
:'''Bubblegum''': It's because they all look the same. ''[BG1 stares picture for a beat]''
:'''Banana Guard 1''': ...Oh okay, I see. ''[turns to all BGs]'' There's 25 of 'em! They all look like this guy!
:'''Banana Guard 2''': Uh, how can 25 guys look like one guy? You mean they're vigintiquintuplets?
:'''Banana Guard 1''': ''[faces PB]'' You mean they're vigintiquintuplets?
:'''Bubblegum''': No, they're clones.
:'''Banana Guard 1''': What are clones?
:'''Bubblegum''': ''[sigh]'' A group of organisms or cells produced asexually from one ancestor or stock to which they are genetically identical.
:'''Banana Guard 1''': How did that happen?
:'''Bubblegum''': It's a long story.
:'''Banana Guard 1''': I love long stories.
:'''Bubblegum''': GAHH!! There's no time!
:'''Banana Guard 1''': And they're not brothers?
:'''Bubblegum''': ''No'' — they're not brothers, they're clones! ''[both Finn and Jake laughing on giant walls, which PB hears]'' &lt;big&gt;'''HEY!!!'''&lt;/big&gt; Get down here and help me!!
:''[Finn and Jake wave their hands to tell PB to come up]''
:'''Bubblegum''': Hahh... Vigintiquintuplets, I'm telling you....

== ''The Tower'' [6.04] ==
:'''Jake''': ''[walks Finn to the couch]'' You just went through some outrageous beeswax from losing your favorite arm and et cetera. You can't just expect to bounce right back to normal.
:'''Finn''': I can't?
:'''Jake''': Nah, man. Listen. ''[grabs two fake arms]'' All these princesses donating all these gross fake arms—they mean well, ''[throws both fake arms in the air]'' but they're throwing you off your game! You got to go at your own pace. If you listen ''[opens fold of skin in his forehead]'' deep in your melon heart... ''[a heart shape starts beating]'' That's where the real instructions are. ''[Finn starts thinking for a beat]''
:'''Finn''': ..My melon wants to punch my dad in the face and steal his arm.
:'''Jake''': ''[chuckles]'' Well, those things are bad, ''[grabs tote bag from table]'' so they can't be the real instructions, but you keep listening. Me? I'm going to go to the spaghetti store and buy a new mop head. I'll be back soon. Just remember—listen to your melon heart.
{{line}}
''(Back at the treehouse, Jake sleeps by the tower with the small deer. It then leaves as Finn appears, waking Jake.)''
:'''Jake''': Hey, man, you're back! How do you feel?
:'''Finn''': Eh, neutral, I guess. I don't want to punch my dad anymore.
:'''Jake''': That's great, dude! You can always trust the ol' melon heart to get you through! Looks like we won't be needing this thing anymore. Wanna do the honors?
:''[beat]''
:'''Finn''': I would.
:''(Finn removes the wood plank holding the tower, but when it topples, its massive height causes it to crash through the Candy Kingdom and beyond. Finn and Jake stare in guilt.)''
:'''Princess Bubblegum''': '''&lt;big&gt;AAAAAH!!! MY ARM!!!&lt;/big&gt;'''

== ''Sad Face'' [6.05] ==
:'''Ringmaster''': Too much artsy, not enough fartsy. We talked about this, clown!

== ''Breezy'' [6.06] ==
:''[Finn sings as he walks through the forest with his legs dragging his slumping body forward]''
:'''Finn''': ''I'm lost in the darkness, what will this bring?''
:''Autumn descends on me, autumn''
:''[a flying bee lands on a tree branch, sees the flower at the end of Finn's arm and sings along]''
:'''Bee''': ''What do I see? Oh, so beautiful'' 
:''My heart it beats, oh, so magical...''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[an irritated Finn takes a walk with Breezy away from the fact Frozen Yogurt Princess bearing resemblance to Flame Princess]''
:'''Finn''': She doesn't look anything like Flame Princess, does she? ''[kicks a rock]''
:'''Breezy''': I don't know who that is.
:'''Finn''': Exactly. ''[lies down on a log]'' I'm just trying to have fun. You know, doctor's orders. But I still ain't feelin' nothing. ''[sighs]'' Maybe I should just let this poor flower die.
:'''Breezy''': Nooooo...! ''[lands on his shoulder]'' Listen, buddy, being a free spirit is fun and all, but you got a responsibility to that flower, just like I got a responsibility. Get this—I'm actually a virgin {{w|queen bee}}. I was born to lead a hive, destined for a life of {{w|obligation}} and {{w|ritual}}.
:'''Finn''': Whoa... bummer.
:'''Breezy''': Yes. Once I drink of the {{w|royal jelly}}, my carefree days are done.
:'''Finn''': Dang! That sounds like raw deez. Breezy, you got to stay free... ''[gets up and jumps up]'' free to make out with whatevs.
:'''Breezy''': Hah, yeah, maybe you're right. You know, it's too bad we're such great buddies or we could make out with each other. ''[chuckles]''
:'''Finn''': What?
:'''Breezy''': Uh, nothing. Come on, pal! Let's run and be free!

== ''{{w|Food Chain (Adventure Time)|Food Chain}}'' [6.07] ==
:''[a red-suited Finn begins dancing into a musical number]''
:'''Finn''': ''Round and round as the nature flows''
:''It's like one big ring''
:''Caterpillars eat plants''
:''Small birds eat caterpillars''

:''Big birds eat small birds''
:''Bacteria eats the dead big bird''
:''From there, plants grow''
:''Again, caterpillar eats the plant''


:'''Finn &amp; Bubblegum''': ''How natural, no waste, it is an endless chain''
:''What an amazing, wonderful and excellent''
:''How harsh, not careless, it's an endless chain''
:''What an amazing, wonderful and excellent food...''
:''Food chaaain!''

== ''The Prince Who Wanted Everything'' [6.09] ==
:'''LSP''': It's me, Ice King.
:'''Ice King''': Lumpy Space Princess?
:'''LSP''': Yeah.
:'''Ice King''': And you're doing this because you like me?
:'''LSP''': No, Ice King, listen—I'monna give you the straight dope.
:'''Ice King''': Okay.
:'''LSP''': You're weird and old and you kidnap princesses.
:'''Ice King''': I know!
:'''LSP''': But I asked here tonight because I want to know what you think of this. ''[presents a book]''
:'''Ice King''': &quot;The Prince Who Wanted Everything. A Fionna and Cake Adventure&quot;? Hey, why isn't my name on there?
:'''LSP''': I want you to read it, because you're their dad. Please be their dad right now and bring them to life!
:'''Ice King''': ''[sigh]'' Okay, might as well. Least until the cops show up.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Lumpy Space Prince''': Citizens of this realm, I am the one and only heir to the throne of the Lumpy Space Kingdom. I mean, I used to be. I rebelled against my parents and now I'm a refugee.
:''[beat]''
:'''Lumpy Space Prince''': What's that? You wish to help me? I'm touched! Fetch me some clothes and I'll pay you handsomely, by petting you. First, I need freaky clothes! Cool freaky, not monster freaky. Oh, yes—and something to read as well, something mind blowing.
:''[the animals then leave]''
:'''Lumpy Space Prince''': Oh, wait! I also need servants! Recruit some locals, they won't mind.

== ''{{w|Something Big (Adventure Time)|Something Big}}'' [6.10] ==
:'''Sun''': ''[speaking to Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant]'' &quot;''Hey! Elephant. I'm more ancient than you. Someday, I will engulf the solar system. What was and what will be is meaningless. Meanwhile, you should wonder: are you just a two-headed pile of meat on a crash course with the cosmic dump, or do you contain the soul memory of a million dead stars? How do you light a candle without a match?''&quot;

== ''Little Brother'' [6.11] ==
:'''Shelby''': ''[narrating]'' Kent proceeded to relate his fantastic journey to me. It was all super good. But he had also partaken of the food of the underworld, and so he was compelled to return there by dewdrop law. That's what he said, at least. Maybe he was having second thoughts about infinite riches, true love, and eternal life. Or maybe he had just decided that fighting bad guys wasn't really his deal. But I do know this—free from the Rat King's cursed teeth, that spring, for the first time in many years, the willow tree was in bloom.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Jake''': ''[to Shelby and his little brother Kent]'' You can chop up a worm and get two? I thought that was a myth.
:'''Shelby''': Myth is a powerful force in my life, dude. So, the thing is, I don't know beans about being a big brother. Can you give me some tips?
:'''Jake''': Ah, it's easy. You just give him something sharp and get him to fight bad guys.
:'''Shelby''': That's it?
:'''Jake''': Yeah, you might have to stretch all big if he gets in real trouble. But, yeah.
:'''Shelby''': All right. Sounds good. ''[slithers off, Kent looks up to Jake]''
:'''Kent''': Someday, you'll be Kent's food. ''[runs off laughing]''

== ''Ocarina'' [6.12] ==
:''[in the Candy Kingdom police station, Finn and Jake are sitting on a bench, with their wrists locked in handcuffs]''
:'''Finn''': Man, can I tell you something? I don't even know ''what's'' going on here. I mean, like, what the heck is a {{w|deed}}?! How come he can buy our house when it's ''our'' house and Marceline gave it to ''us'' and ''we'' live there?! A-and now we're arrested?! This is crazy! ''[to a passing Banana Guard]'' &lt;big&gt;''IT'S CRAZY''!!&lt;/big&gt; ''[the Banana Guard walks away]''
:'''Jake''': Man, don't you know? The laws ain't made to help earthy cats like us.
:'''Finn''': They're not?
:'''Jake''': Nah, man. Listen. Here on our planet, back in the old days—back in the ''real'' old days—it was just every man for hisself, scrooblin' and scrat-scrobblin' for the good stuff, the greenest valleys, and scrat-scrobblin'. And the strongest, meanest men got the best stuff. They got the green valleys and were like, &quot;The rest of you, y'all scrats get sand.&quot; And that's when they made the laws, you see. Once the strong guys got it how they liked it, they said, &quot;This is fair now. This is the law.&quot; Once they were winning, they changed the rules up.
:'''Finn''': Whoa... just like Kim Kil Whan.

==''Ghost Fly'' [6.17] ==
:'''Jake''': Maybe some soup would take the edge off.
:''[....]''
:'''Jake''': Eww, gross!! ''NASTY''!!! ''[runs off, back and thwacks it with fly swatter]'' Yahh!
:''[it bangs off the side, wiggles and dies soon after]''
:'''Jake''': I'm sorry you were born a fly and I had to kill you. You ''disgusting'', disgusting creature.
:'''BMO''': ''[offscreen]'' Kyah! Kyah!
:'''Jake''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''BEEMO, PLEASE!!!!'''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

== ''[[w:Is That You? (Adventure Time)|Is That You?]]'' [6.19] ==
:'''Prismo''': Dude, I can't believe I died. Jake, I'm sorry man, this doesn't feel right.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jake''': Prismo?! You're alive!
:'''Prismo''': Well, not yet. Finn, in a second, you gotta stop yourself from waking up Jake.
:'''Finn''': Stop my who?
:'''Prismo''': Shoot! Hide! ''[Jake camouflages behind Finn, with another Finn and Prismo coming closer]''
:'''Finn 2''': Hey, are we gonna turn around somewhere? I feel like we're lost.
:'''Prismo 2''': No, I was just stalling, don't think about it. Come on, this way! ''[they exit, and everything's clear]''
:'''Prismo''': ''That'' who.
:''[...]''
:'''Prismo''': But wait, Jake — that means one of your alternate reality incarnations will sleep for eternity to keep me alive.
:'''Jake''': Cool, dude!
:'''Prismo''': Okay, but Finn, I'm not sure what'll happen if you confront yourself. He might explode.
:'''Finn''': He ''me'', or other me?
:'''Prismo''': Y'know what? Forget it.
:'''Finn''': Shut it, Prismo. Heroes risk everything for their friends. Although I admit you're more Jake's friend than mine. Sometimes you can think someone is totally cool but you never become besties. Now I don't know why that happens. But regardless, let's do this! ''[exits]''
:'''Prismo''': Good luck!
''[Finn follows his alternate self, as he prepares to wake up the alternate Jake]''
:'''Prismo''': Whoa, Finn, Hey, are you gonna wake up Jake?
''[Finn sneaks up on the other Finn]''
:'''Finn 2''': Yeah. Is that gonna kill you again, though?
:'''Prismo''': My past self is doing Plan B, right?
''[Finn lays his hand on the other Finn's shoulder]''
:'''Finn''': PLAN B!!
:'''Finn 2''': WHAT THE?! AAAAAA''''AAAAAAAAHHH!!!''' ''[The other Finn explodes, transforming into a sword in the process, Finn grabs the sword]''
:'''Finn''': This is me? This sword is me?
:'''Prismo''': Finn Sword, dude.
:'''Finn''': Welcome Back, Prismo.
:'''Prismo''': Thank you, Finn.
:'''Jake''': Welcome back, Prismo.
:'''Prismo''': Thank you, Jake.
''[The other Jake turns into a new Old Man Prismo]''

== ''[[w:Jake the Brick|Jake the Brick]]'' [6.20] ==
:'''Jake''': Looks like our long-eared friend is on to something. Bunnies love to dig. He's making a supreme effort, and I think I can guess why. ''[the bunny digs up a carrot]'' That's right. A carrot, grown out here free and wild! Probably the result of a seed pooped out by a passing bird. ''[pan left to a rustling bush]'' But what's this? A mysterious rustling in the bush—could mean trouble. Mr. Bunny seems to think so. His sensitive whiskers quiver at the hint of imminent danger.
:''[the screen splits to show Beemo bringing Finn a bowl of popcorn. They sit on the couch and listen to Jake through the walkie-talkie]''
:'''Jake''': Unfortunately for Mr. Bunny, this is what nature is all about. ''[a horned four-legged mammal emerges out of the bushes]'' It's a male deer. Not a threat to Mr. Bunny in the predatory sense, but still above him in the food chain. Mr. Bunny, wishing to avoid an encounter, hops away to safety.
:''[the deer then walks to the carrot and eats it]''
:'''Jake''': Wow, deers are jerks.
:'''Finn''': Hey, man. You know I can hear everything you say, right?
:'''Jake''': What?! Ouhh... ''Garghh''... No!! I had no idea!
:'''Finn''': Yeah, but you saw me leave the walkie-talkie and I left it on. You know that, right?
:'''BMO''': Hi, Jake!
:'''Jake''': Hi, Beemo...
:'''Finn''': Need anything? A soda?
:'''Jake''': No.
:'''Finn''': ..So what's Mr. Bunny doing now?
:'''Jake''': IT'S NOT ABOUT THE BUNNY!! The bunny is incidental to the brick experiment.
:'''Finn''': Oh. Sorry, man.
:'''Jake''': ''[grumbles]'' Forget about the bunny...
:'''Finn''': Sorry, man.
:'''BMO''': Sorry, Jake.
:'''Finn''': Look, we'll, uh... we'll leave you alone. ''[pushes in walkie-talkie antenna]''
:''[Jake looks down at his walkie-talkie for a beat]''
:'''Jake''': Finn? Are you still there? Finn? BMO?
== ''[[w:Dentist|Dentist]]'' [6.21] ==
:'''Tiffany''': Tonight, light's out. Tomorrow, your eyes out!

== ''[[w:Evergreen (Adventure Time)|Evergreen]]'' [6.24] ==
:'''Chatsberry''': I just think we should discuss this, Evergreen.
:'''Evergreen''': ''Discuss''?! Are you listening, Chatsberry? When this comet hits, everybody dies. Not just everybody but us—but ''us''.
:'''Balthus''': Now, now... Hold on, Evergreen. Hath not a comet impacted our world every thousand years with no lasting grievousness?
:'''Evergreen''': Ahh... But this, Balthus, is no ordinary comet. Behold!
:''[he conjures a gigantic ice lens magnifying on the green, deathly comet]''
:'''Evergreen''': See how it writhes? It aches for our extinction! It—
:'''Chatsberry''': But Evergreen, even if the comet is as dangerous as you say, what can we possibly do?
:'''Evergreen''': We build a crown.
:'''Chatsberry''': A crown?
:'''Evergreen''': Like none seen before or ever after! A magical crown whose phantasmal circuitry will bond to its first bearer, and grant him his one deepest wish... To destroy the hideous comet which threatens our world! The good news is, I already built the crown. The bad news: it needs a power source—the enchanted ruby eyes of the ancient lava-dog Magwood! And that's where you come in.
:'''Chatsberry''': Wait, wait! Evergreen, please. Wish magic is really the real deal. This wish may see things in you you cannot see yourself. Can you truly say you know your heart's truest desire?
:'''Balthus''': I'm with Chatsberry. If this comet hits, we four indeed may perish, but the elements we embody—fire, ice, candy and slime—will live on. But a misplaced wish could cause irreversible damage to the very structure of existence!
:'''Evergreen''': Well, that's just great. What about you, Slimy-D?
:'''Slimy-D''': ''[beat, raps]'' ''Yo-yo, my name's Slimy-D and I'm here to—''
:'''Balthus''': Slimy-D stands with us.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Gunther''': ''[gazing at the comet]'' Gettin' fat. Gettin' fat, right?
:'''Evergreen''': Hm.
:'''Gunther''': However, I would suggest that this is still a nice night. 'S quiet.
:'''Evergreen''': Hm, it is quiet. Why don't you put on some music? The chimes, Gunther.
:'''Gunther''': Okay.
:''[Gunther jumps into his bag and picks up a bottled jar; opens it and conjures an ice imp playing its drum. Gunther rocks back and forth with the beat]''
:'''Evergreen''': Gunther!! I said chimes! Gunther, no! ''[throws dirt at him]''
:'''Gunther''': Unh! Sorry, Master, I'll put him back. ''[pokes imp with bottle]''
:'''Imp''': Heeeey... Mm, what?
:'''Evergreen''': Ah, never mind. Here. ''[kicks a glass jar to Gunther]'' Take the jar and find me some water. There's not enough moisture in the air for me to make us an ice camp.
:'''Gunther''': Uh, Master? I'm sorry, I don't think I've seen any water at ''all'' today.
:'''Evergreen''': Just do it. Don't anger Daddy.
:'''Gunther''': ''[leaves with Nina on lead]'' Wait... Are you my father?
:'''Evergreen''': No, but I stole your egg and mutated your brain. Get going!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Evergreen''': Gunther?! Gunther, can you hear me?!
:'''Gunther''': ''[Groggily]'' Yeah—yes, Master Evergreen!
:'''Evergreen''': Okay, good. Now, aiming at the sound of my voice, throw the crown so it lands right on the top of my head.
:'''Gunther''': I—wait, what?
:'''Evergreen''': No, no, there's no time! It must be you, Gunther!
:'''Gunther''': Me?
:'''Evergreen''': Don't worry, it's easy. Even a mush-head like you couldn't donk it up too bad. Just focus on your deepest truest wish, the destruction of the deadly comet, and the rest will take care of itself.
:'''Gunther''': ''[Places the crown on his head]'' My deepest truest wish... ''[Darkness overtakes him]'' Gunther, no! Gunther, no! Gunther, no!
:'''Evergreen''': Gunther? Buddy? What are you wishing for down there? ''[Gunther sprouts white hair, a long nose and blue skin and starts shooting ice powers... all just like his master, Evergreen. If '''that''' isn't bad influence, Glob knows what is.]'' Gunther... no... That's the wrong wish! You've got to snap out of it! Use a concentration spell or, or a basic focusing charm—like I taught you... I mean, like I meant to teach you... I—
:'''Gunther''': Gunther, no! Gunther, no! Gunther, no! Gunther, no! ''Gunther, no!'' '''''Gunther, no!'''''
''[The comet approaches and all fades to neon green]''
''[Morning. The Ice Kingdom in the present world of Ooo. Ice King, current wearer of the Crown, is seen jumping on his bed, dreaming the tragic events played out in the distant past.]''
:'''Ice King''': Gunther, no! Gunther, no! Gunther, no! '''Gunther, noooooo!''' ''[Imitates explosion sounds - signaling the end of Evergreen's story - and falls off the bed and wakes up full, yawns]''. Mornin'. Man, what a dream. Do you guys ever have the dino-boy dream with the astero-- what? What... what is it? ''[He sees the penguins shivering in the corner, afraid]'' Something in my teeth? Something in my hair? Something in my nose? Something in my ear?
''[As Ice King says the latter lines, the scene changes to the outside of the Ice Kingdom. In the morning sky, a twinkling new light - easily mistaken for a star - glints into view. A fade in to the depths of outer space reveals the source of the light: a new comet, light blue in color. Destination: Earth. Zoom in to the comet, fast approaching, then slowly and surely fade to black. And so the end begins again...]''

== ''Astral Plane'' [6.25] ==
:'''Finn''': Well, if just being born is the greatest act of creation, then what are you suppose to do after that? [''shot of Mr. Fox looking at the sky''] Isn't everything that comes next just sort of a disappointment? [''shot of Ice King standing in an empty Cloud Kingdom''] Slowly entropy-ing until we deflate into a pile of mush? [''shot of Bounce House Princess, now deflated in her panic room'']

== ''[[w:Gold Stars (Adventure Time)|Gold Stars]]'' [6.26] ==
[''Sweet P's pupils transform into green flames, he stands up and his surroundings fade to black'']
:'''Sweet P and The Lich''': '''Stop.'''
[''The black surrounds King of Ooo and Toronto'']
:'''King of Ooo and Toronto''': Ahhh!
:'''Sweet P and The Lich''': '''I have learned much from you. Thank you, my teachers. And now for your... education.''' [''The green dots in Sweet P's eyes turn into big green flames, and his lower eyelids move upwards'']
[''Toronto and King of Ooo are surrounded by a fiery and blasted wasteland'']
:'''The Lich''': '''Before there was time... Before there was anything...''' [''The green flames flare up, consuming the landscape and leaving a black void''] '''There was nothing, and before there was nothing...''' [''The black void goes away, revealing a writhing mass of ancient abominations''] '''There were monsters.'''
[''The monsters start to roar and bellow, Orgalorg can be seen among them, shaking his tentacles. Sweet P, possessed by the Lich, rises from among them, larger than anything else in the vision'']
:'''Toronto''' Ah.. aaaaaAAAHH!
:'''King of Ooo''': AAAAAHH!!
:'''The Lich''': '''Here's YOUR Gold Star!!''' [''The Lich hisses at them, deforming Sweet Pea's jaw and spewing his death smoke from it'']
:'''King of Ooo''': '''''WAAAAAAAAH!!!''''' [''Everything fades to white'']
[''Sweet Pea returns to normal, gasping heavily. All three of them are back in Ooo'']
:'''Sweet Pea''': Mister King of Ooo?
[''Toronto and King of Ooo are on their knees, shoving dirt into their eyes'']
:'''King of Ooo''': Ababababa... Huh?
:'''Toronto''': Huh?! AAHH!!
:'''King of Ooo''': MONSTER!! '''AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!'''
:'''Toronto''': MONSTER!! WAAAAAAAAHH!!
[''Both of them run for their lives into the forest, throwing away anything that weigh them down, including their gold stars and many valuable treasures. Sweet P stares at his hands'']
:'''Sweet P''': Just a dream.

== ''Friends Forever'' [6.32] ==
:'''Ice King''': Oh, my lamp. My beautiful lamp of so many years... Speak to me.
:'''Lamp''': ''[spoke]'' Hello? ''[Ice King flips her over]'' Hello.
:'''Ice King''': A lady? Unexpected bonus!
:'''Lamp''': Well, one isn't purely defined by their sex or gender. I have yet to find out who I really am. I have freedom, no longer bound by the limits of my cord. Freedom to shape my reality, and in turn be shaped by it.
:'''Ice King''': ''[chuckles]'' You talk funny. Like a book.
:'''Lamp''': Oh, humor! Humor is the highest form of intelligence.
:'''Ice King''': Well, hey, here's somethin' funny. ''[doing a string of hand farts]'' It sounds like a butt!
:'''Lamp''': Hmm...
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Snare Drum''': Sure, we all feel alive now but how do we know it's not all, you know, just an illusion? I mean, I can reach out and touch you but it's all just signals to the brain, easily recreatable with the right technology. You know what I mean?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Microwave''': Yeah, yeah, yeah, but no, listen. ''[sips wine]'' Watch this. Through the simple act of creation... ''[touches Life-Giving Magus' hand with wine glass to life]'' have I become a reflection of my own creator?

== ''Jermaine'' [6.33] ==
:'''Jermaine''': You guys can chill here till morning when the demons thin out a little.
:'''Finn''': ''[acrobatic flips into living room]'' Whoo!!
:'''Jermaine''': Aw, Finn—oh no! Instant regret!
:'''Finn''': ''[jumping thru main corridor]'' Whoo!! My house! My house!
:'''Jermaine''': Instant regret! ''[runs to the kitchen and gasps seeing Finn swinging around the table]''
:'''Finn''': Whoo!! Remember, Jermaine? We did this when we wanted to make room for dessert!
:'''Jermaine''': I don't care about that memory.
:'''Finn''': What? Whoa! ''[flown onto the wall, dropped down the floor]'' Dang, my back!
:'''Jermaine''': Come on! This ain't the treehouse, man! I got systems!
:'''Jake''': ''[enters with a greatsword (Buster Sword)]'' Hey, Jermaine, this thing is rad—''WAOHH''!! ''[slices table]''
:'''Jermaine''': Okay! No more sleepover!
:'''Finn''': Oh no, d-don't kick us out!
:'''Jermaine''': Go do your Goucho Marx slapstick with them goofballs in the woods. I got a responsibility to all this booty in here. Staves, medallions, cups, goblets, dormant djinn, grimoires, hard drives — all this random valuable booty, okay?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jake''': Awesome, dude! We won!
:'''Jermaine''': I didn't win! When do I win?! Special Guys One and Two win every day! Crackin' jokes, readin' foodie mags in your treetown funhouse! Must be nice to be so special you can go off and find your own fancy ways! Meanwhile, I gotta stay here and watch Dad's trashy booty 'cause I never stretched into the sky and farted on the wings of a falcon, I guess!
:'''Jake''': Dude, I never farted on the wing of a falcon. Heh... ''[punched by Jermaine]'' ''Uhn''!!
:'''Jermaine''': &lt;big&gt;'''''AARRHHHH'''!!!''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Finn''': Bros!!
:'''Jake''': Chill, Jermaine—''OHF''!!
:'''Jermaine''': Think I don’t want a cushy treehouse life?! ''[punches Jake thoroughly]'' I don't even get salt!! &lt;big&gt;''SAAAALT''!!!&lt;/big&gt;

== ''Chips &amp; Ice Cream'' [6.34] ==
:''[Morty Rogers begins an incantation to transfer Chips and Ice Cream in his ears to Jake under the light of a full moon]''
:'''Morty Rogers''': By the light of the waxing moon, which was just unveiled by the parting clouds, I command these two imps that have taken possession of my ears to transfer onto the head of the being who is directly across from me and is currently eating Chips and Ice Cream!
:''[a moonbeam hits Chips and Ice Cream on Morty Rogers' ears; Chips and Ice Cream's ghosts fly onto Jake's head and materialize on his head]''
:'''Chips''': Chips chips?
:'''Ice Cream''': Ice cream... ''[Morty Rogers's ears shrink down to normal]''
:'''Morty Rogers''': Huh... It worked! I'm a free bear! ''[laughs hysterically; jumps out the window and runs off in the distance]''
:'''Jake''': ..Well, now I'm a guy with these things on my head. I guess I'm just gonna roll with the punches.
:'''Finn''': Uh... Don't worry, man. I'm gonna pretend they're not even there.
:'''Chips''': Chips!
:'''Ice Cream''': Ice cream!
:'''BMO''': This is the greatest day of my liiiife!

== ''Graybles 1000+'' [6.35] ==
:'''Cuber''': ''[running away from aliens]'' Oh! Survival! Remember your training. ''[holds a Grayble in his hand]'' Trust your Graybles. ''[looks to the audience]'' Oh, and you children at home, don't bother trying to guess tonight's theme. Applesauce to a theme! Your friend Cuber does not want to die!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Tuber''': ''[after saving baby Cuber]'' You can be a hero, Cuber, and what a cube can be must be.

== ''Water Park Prank'' [6.37] ==
:'''Jake''': ''[at swimming lockers]'' Look, I brought us two gold coins so we can have a locker each.
:'''Finn''': No way! ''[kicks Jake's locker, trapping his arm as he almost put his coin in the slot]''
:'''Jake''': Oww!! What the heck?!!
:'''Finn''': Sorry! I was just trying to stop you putting the coin in before I showed you my magical item.
:'''Jake''': Well, I hope it's a healing item after you just crimped my wrist with a metal door!
:'''Finn''': No, look! ''[shows magic token]'' It's a magic token that can fit in any slot. Watch.
:''[Finn puts magic token on locker slot, turns into a gold coin and falls into slot]''
:'''Finn''': We've saved ourselves two gold coins on lockers.
:'''Jake''': Well, not really, 'cause the lockers give you the coins back, anyway.
:'''Finn''': Yeah, but this way only one of us has to carry a key.
:'''Jake''': Yeah, but if we lock my locker, then lock my key in your locker, we would only have to carry one key, but we'd still have a locker each.
:'''Finn''': Yeah, but could we just use the reward I earned for being so rave and rescuing a princess, please?
:'''Jake''': ..Okay, fine.
:'''Finn''': Thanks very much.

== ''You Forgot Your Floaties'' [6.38] ==
:'''Magic Man''': ''[pumps oven]'' This is exciting!
:'''Betty''': A little sad though, right?
:'''Magic Man''': Which part?
:'''Betty''': Your brother blowing up in space. Doesn't that mess you up?
:'''Magic Man''': Nothing messes me up.
:'''Betty''': I don't believe that. Like, who is Margles and why is there a picture of her on your shelf? Something there connects to who you are and your magic.
:'''Magic Man''': Someone shines a light into my dark wizard matter. A way to unclose the circuit of magic, madness... and sadness.
:'''Betty''': That's right! MMS runs through all magic users. I hung out with scores of them — all displaying varying degrees of magic, madness, and sadness. Studying these symptoms could lead me to their underlying cause and then I'll control the forces that hold sway over Simon.
:'''Magic Man''': I see.
:'''Betty''': You see what?
:'''Magic Man''': The coconut crab who swims in your neighbor's pool at night. Maybe Simon's in there too. Who else holds their breath in there, Betty?
:'''Betty''': All magic users swim in the loomy gloom.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Magic Man''': Margles... Open your eyes, Margles.
:'''Margles''': Who's that?
:'''Magic Man''': I'm Magic Man, and that's my sibling, Glob.
:'''Glob''': Hi. Uh, can I talk to you in a sec?
:'''Magic Man''': Okay, what's up? ''[walks over to Grob Gob Glob Grod]''
:'''Glob''': That's our new planetary defense system?
:'''Magic Man''': Yeah, MARGLES.
:'''Glob''': Margles is your wife, dude.
:'''Magic Man''': My wife was taken by GOLB.
:''[cut to show a red pyramid-cube-shaped, four-eyed monstrous being in a black void]''
:'''Magic Man''': This is like my tribute. I'mma install her right there on {{w|Olympus Mons}} so she can protect us from GOLB.
:'''Glob''': But you named her after your wife.
:'''Magic Man''': Yeah, but it stands for, &quot;Magical Automated Resistance Generating Laser Energy Supplier.&quot;
:'''Glob''': Come again?
:'''Magic Man''': Whatever, I wanted to call her MARGLES.
:'''Glob''': So... you used magic to make her, and you don't think your feelings for your lost wife might have compromised your spell programming?
:'''Magic Man''': No, that's crazy! Her appearance is just a symbol of Margles!
:'''Glob''': Why do I feel like this is the worst idea ever?

== ''Be Sweet'' [6.39] ==
:'''LSP''': ''[fights a raccoon in bathroom]'' Take this, you dandruff! ''[squirts shampoo at raccoon, dunks into toilet]'' Ha hah!!
:'''Raccoon''': ''[deep voice]'' LSP.
:'''LSP''': Huh?
:'''Raccoon''': You don't belong here in the world of decent people. You belong in the woods with... ''[emerges up the toilet]'' '''garbage animals!!'''
:'''LSP''': &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''NAAAAAOOOOOHHH!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;

== ''Orgalorg'' [6.40] ==
:'''Granny Elder''': We told you, Orgalorg is real and horrifying.
:'''Grandpa Elder''': But nobody would listen. You all just wanted to make out.
:'''Alien Father''': Uh, well, we're listening now.
:'''Granny Elder''': After you had kids and they didn't want to listen to you, how did that make you feel?
:'''Alien Mother''': Terrible.
:'''Granny Elder''': Exactly. Anyway, so, make-outs.
:'''Grandpa Elder''': Orgalorg!
:'''Granny Elder''': Oh, Orgalorg. Orgalorg is an ancient cosmic entity... who ruled the solar system with his cruel and deadly whims. The breaker of worlds. He was seeking ever more power. He desired to intercept a catalyst comet and absorb its essence. Thereby did he offend the king of Mars, who decreed that Orgalorg should be cast down. And yes, he was cast down by the flaming sword of Grob Gob Glob Grod. Orgalorg was banished to an inhospitable planet, where he would forget everything. Yea, even forget his identity and from whence he came.
:'''Grandpa Elder''': ''[clears throat]'' And the prophets say that the gravity of the planet did crush and compress Orgalorg into a more powerless and cuddlesome form. Ooh!
:'''Granny Elder''': But now he's back, and whose fault is that? Make-outs.

== ''On the Lam'' [6.41] ==

== ''Hot Diggity Doom'' [6.42] ==
:'''King of Ooo''': Now, Princess Bubblegum—she ''says'' she hasn't gone rogue. She ''says'' she's not a wild dog thirsty for blood. She ''says'' she's not a liberal baby [[wiktionary:masquerading|masquerading]] as an adult woman. She says a lot of things. Princess Bubblegum, you don't make ''sense''!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Bubblegum''': The Candy People are [[wiktionary:mercurial|mercurial]], but they're not [[wiktionary:dillweed|dillweeds]].

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Bubblegum forces open the cabin door, the cabin breaks with a flock of bats flying out of the fridge]''
:'''Bubblegum''': Ho, no, no, no, no! It's okay, everyone. It's okay. Close your eyes and repeat your safety mantra. Hoodie hoodie hoodup, hoodie hoodie hoodup, hoodie—
:'''Peppermint Bulter''': Princess?
:'''Bubblegum''': Huh? Oh... Sorry, Peps. I'm just so used to having my citizens around to protect. This is gonna take some getting used to.
:'''Peppermint Bulter''': Permission to speak freely, ma'am?
:'''Bubblegum''': Granted.
:'''Peppermint Bulter''': This horrible dump does not meet the level of fancy to which I have become accustomed!
:'''Bubblegum''': Noted. Also, FYI, my Uncle Gumbald built this cabin with his bare hands. I spent my summers here when I was younger. Anyway, it'll probably take a really long time for the Candy People to realize a bad ruler is worse than a good ruler. Plenty of time to spruce this place up.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''King of Ooo''': ''[sees in Candy Kingdom in choas]'' Toronto, I've been princess for four hours, and society has already totally collapsed! Plus, now the sky is falling, I guess? Is this possibly... somehow my fault? ''[Toronto spits his apple]''
:'''Toronto''': No way! Okay, look. Without your calming presence and selfless leadership, this situation would have been a hundred times worse. History will remember you as Ooo's greatest hero.
:'''King of Ooo''': As always, the voice of reason. Once again, my saintly nature has compelled me, unthinking, to assume the burdens of others. But a true justice demands a true accounting. And truly this is all Bubblegum's fa-aa-aa-ault! ''[he falls down as the ground rumbles]'' Oof! Good Glob! What no-o-o-o-o-w?

== ''The Comet'' [6.43] ==
:'''Jake''': Man, are you still Gunther? 'Cause you seem like you're not.
:'''Orgalorg''': I'm Orgalorg.
:'''Finn''': Well, what the heck are you doing, Orgalorg?
:'''Orgalorg''': It was just time to come out again. Glob KO'ing himself, the arrival of the Catalyst Comet, and a ship to carry me out of this planet's gravity. ''[projects three colored door shapes out of his eyes into a singular door shape]'' These are doorways the universe presented to me.
:'''Jake''': Oh, I know about open-door philosophy!
:'''Finn''': What's that? You just say yes to stuff all the time?
:'''Jake''': Pretty much.
:'''Finn''': That seems alright.
:'''Orgalorg''': It's all yours if you're willing to take it. Destroy worlds, ''[folds into himself]'' crush anyone blocking the door, ''[unfolds out]'' feel their bones crumple and their goo spill out.
:'''Finn''': I don't like that at all.
:'''Jake''': He made it ugly!
:'''Orgalorg''': You can't stop me, I'm Orgalorg.
:'''Finn''': I'm pretty sure I can take you, bro.
:'''Orgalorg''': Not after I absorb the power and knowledge of that comet.
:'''Finn''': Absorb a triple salchow to your kneecaps!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Purple Comet''': &quot;''Finn... do you remember?''&quot; ''[Finn groans and his &quot;vault&quot; in his head starts to open]''
:'''Finn''': Yeah... I-I think so. A long time ago, I was you, sort of... and I crashed on Earth, and became a butterfly or some biz. And I guess it was just some random absurd thing—just a joke I've been playing out for centuries.
:'''Purple Comet''': &quot;''Who's creating the joke? Are you? And if so, then are you ''my'' creator?''&quot;
:'''Finn''': Uh, maybe? I dunno... Probably not.
:'''Purple Comet''': &quot;''Probably not, but who knows? I've been around forever and experienced so much impossible junk. I've embodied all that is good and evil. And now we're here. It's unprecedented. And I give you a choice. Come with me to the end and the beginning, [bell ringing is heard] or struggle here a while like a beautiful autumn leaf.''&quot;
:'''Finn''': What's that bell sound? ''[a visible color spectrum seams on his head]''
:'''Martin''': Cool, man...
:'''Purple Comet''': &quot;''This is your crisis — as you stand on the edge of freedom from... love, hate, friendship, isolation, jealousy, secrets, violence, video games, ice cream waffles, sadness, madness, power, honor, loyalty, saucy, mothers, fathers, scoundrels.''&quot;
:'''Finn''': How long are you gonna list stuff?
:'''Purple Comet''': &quot;''It's a long list.''&quot;
:'''Finn''': You're telling to abandon all this stuff, but you're not really making it sound bad.
:'''Purple Comet''': &quot;''It's not bad. I'm just giving you the choice of a new mode of existence.''&quot;
:'''Finn''': ''[beat]'' I feel like I put a lot of work into this meat reality. I like to see it through.
:'''Purple Comet''': &quot;''Fair enough.''&quot;
:'''Martin''': Hey! How about I get a new mode? ''[Finn's visible spectrum fades out]''
:'''Finn''': Are you seriously trying to bail out again?!
:'''Martin''': What? This deal sounds pretty good!
:'''Finn''': ''[sighs]'' Dad...
:'''Martin''': Uh-oh... I know that look.
:'''Finn''': When you fled the scene like a ding-dong ditcher in the night...
:'''Martin''': Listen, Finn — no answer I give you will be satisfying. Besides, it was like... 40 years ago.
:'''Finn''': I'm 16!
:'''Martin''': I don't have a star to revolve around and track time.
:'''Finn''': But why do you always run from everything?!
:'''Martin''': You burn enough bridges, the only direction to move is forward.
:'''Finn''': ''[beat]'' Hm. Well, there ain't no changing you, I guess.
:'''Martin''': Well, I'm glad we finally understand each other. Start the engine, comet boy!
:'''Purple Comet''': &quot;''Prepare to discorporate.''&quot; ''[both Martin and the comet dissipate]''
:'''Martin''': ''Goodbye, son...!''
:'''Finn''': Bye, Dad. ''[beat]'' ..Should've asked for a lift home.

== External links==
{{wikipedia|Adventure Time}}

[[Category:Children's television seasons]]
[[Category:Adventure Time seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>lxwkhc10fk5rajemlc2koh6dg63ytcy</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Adventure Time (season 7)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>187344</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943887</id>
      <parentid>3605955</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:27:15Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30410-75</username>
        <id>3325553</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943887</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="34005" sha1="iixpudbw102no6a28l9jem96i9lqgfj" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Adventure Time (season 1)|1]] [[Adventure Time (season 2)|2]] [[Adventure Time (season 3)|3]] [[Adventure Time (season 4)|4]] [[Adventure Time (season 5)|5]] [[Adventure Time (season 6)|6]] [[Adventure Time (season 7)|7]] [[Adventure Time (season 8)|8]] [[Adventure Time (season 9)|9]] [[Adventure Time (season 10)|10]] | [[Adventure Time: Distant Lands|Distant Lands]] | [[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake|Fionna and Cake]] | [[Adventure Time: Side Quests|Side Quests]] | [[Adventure Time|Main]]
----

{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Adventure Time|Adventure Time]]''''' (2010–2018) is an American animated television series on Cartoon Network. The series follows the adventures of a boy named Finn (voiced by Jeremy Shada) and his best friend and adoptive brother Jake (voiced by John DiMaggio)—a dog with the magical power to change shape and size at will.

== ''Bonnie and Neddy'' [7.01] ==
:'''Banana Guard''': ''[sleeping in the bathtub with the shower on]'' Oh, no! I just want consistency!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''King of Ooo''': You two now comprise the royal guard of the one true princess of Ooo. ''[winks]'' That's me! As such, you may no longer own property or operate children, and must render all treasure and wives under your sworn princess within a hangman's fortnight.
:'''Jake''': Pfft! Joke's on you, man! We spent all our treasure the other day! Plus, we don't even have any wives.
:'''Finn''': Wait, what? What about Lady?
:'''Jake''': Lady's my girlfriend.
:'''Finn''': Wait, but... ''[thinks for a beat]''
:'''Jake''': That was Tree Trunks.
:'''Finn''': Oh, yeah!
:'''King of Ooo''': We the inhabitants of Ooo owe you heroes our very lives. As the once powerful and dignified Princess Bubblegum sulked off into exile, it fell upon you two to save us from the impending comet of doom and/or from the hideous Orgalorg, who aimed to eat the powerful comet and grow invincible! And for that, we are eternally grateful.
:'''Toronto''': I know I am.
:'''King of Ooo''': But now your bravery is essential to a new heroic task. ''[beat]'' Can you guess what it is?
:'''Finn''': Uhh...
:'''King of Ooo''': C'mon, guess!
:'''Finn''': Umm... Fight a— fight a dragon?
:'''King of Ooo''': Wrong! Follow me!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Bubblegum''': If the King of Ooo tries to come here again, you have my secret permission to stop him. No holds barred, Moosewood Stadium freestyle. So what're you two up to now?
:'''Jake''': Ehh, guardin' stuff, I guess.
:'''Finn''': Um... Hey, Bonnie? You always act like a loner, right? But next year your brother, you're the light of the party. Sorry, the ''light'' of the party.
:'''Bubblegum''': I mean, yeah! One of the first things I did after making sure Neddy was safe was to start making the Candy People. I was formed in the mother-gum. My mind and my gum were in touch with dozens of others, like a crowded womb. I guess I missed that.
:'''Jake''': But Neddy's from the same place you're from, and he's a wet hotdog around everyone!
:'''Bubblegum''': People get built different. We don't need to figure it out, we just need to respect it. Maybe he likes his company more than I like mine.
:'''Finn''': Well... do you miss the Candy People?

== ''Varmints'' [7.02] ==
:'''Marceline''': Knock knock. Yo, Peebs. You wanna make a midnight Squeez-E-Mart run? I'm gonna drink the red from out the customer's bloodshot eyes. ''[laughs]'' Psyche, I'll probably just get a Slushie. Bubblegum? ''[floats closely to the bed and touches her hair]'' Bonnibel?
:'''King of Ooo''': ''[turns up]'' Wha?
:'''Marceline''': Wahh!
:'''King of Ooo''': Ahh!
:'''Marceline''': ''[deadpan]'' Aaaahhh!
:'''King of Ooo''': ''[vocalizes]'' ''Aaaaahhh''...!
:'''Marceline''': Ugh! What are you doing here?!
:'''King of Ooo''': Be not afraid, my child, it is I, the one true princess of Ooo.
:'''Marceline''': Wh-where's Bubblegum?! ''[King of Ooo jumps high as she slashes his pillow]''
:'''King of Ooo''': Ah-whoa, relax! Bubblegum is fine, just fine. ''[starts bouncing up and down]'' And deposed and powerless—so crushed by defeat was she, that the tyrant exiled herself to a sad cabin on the shores of Lake Butterscotch—technically still Candy Kingdom territory. But in my mercy, I've allowed her to remain.
:'''Marceline''': ''You're'' the princess?! Since when?!
:'''King of Ooo''': Well, by the reckoning of my new tyrantian calendar, Ooo's official calendar... uhh, two glorious months.
:'''Marceline''': Two months? But... but then why didn't she te— Dugh! Bubblegum... ''[flies out of the opening further away]''
:'''King of Ooo''': Tell Bubblegum I wear her nightgown! Tell ''e-e-e-everyone''!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Bubblegum''': Maybe we can find something useful around—ohh!! ''[sees writing on the wall reading &quot;Marceline made me write this – Bonnibel Bubblegum&quot;]''
:'''Marceline''': Your tag! We actually found it. Man, your handwriting hasn't changed at all. ''[laughs]'' Still as prissy and prim ''[turns back]'' as— wha..?
:''[Bubblegum starts breaking down in her tears]''
:'''Marceline''': Hey, h-hey, whoa, wait! I didn't mean... I like your handwriting, I think it's really pretty...
:'''Bubblegum''': It's-it's not that... I lost my hat...
:'''Marceline''': W...we can get you another hat.
:'''Bubblegum''': I lost my hat, lost my home, lost my people... I can't even keep darn varmints out of my pumpkin patch.
:'''Marceline''': Oh, Bonnie, you're...
:'''Bubblegum''': I tried. I really, really tried. I just— I thought that if I shut everything out and just focused on work, it will all be okay. ''[debris starts crumbling down]'' And look what that landed me. All I managed to do was to push everyone away. I pushed you away. I'm sorry, Marceline. I've been a real dinger to you.
:'''Marceline''': C'mon. Why are you even apologising for?

== ''Cherry Cream Soda'' [7.03] ==
:'''Starchy''': It's okay, baby. Starchy's here.
:'''Cherry Cream Soda''': Oh, thank heavens. It was just another hallucination... ''[sees a soil-composed Root Beer Guy]''
:'''Root Beer Guy''': Honey, I'm barely upset that you're remarried.
:'''Cherry Cream Soda''': But... how is this possible? You were zapped by Darren the Ancient Sleeper, your dome was cracked, your root beer soaked into the ground! I buried your remains in a mason jar which is now your head, and... an-and now I'm-I'm with Starchy. I'm mean, we're-we're legally married. You're legally dead. Not that I want to sound obsessed with legalities, but I am a lawyer.
:'''Root Beer Guy''': Hey... where's that little statue I got you? It said &quot;I wuv you&quot; on the base of it? It was a little bear with his arms out like this? ''[sways a drawer across the room into a wall]'' He was all, &quot;I wuv you, I wuv you, I wuv you.&quot; ''[topples and crashes couch over into the wall; its cracks seep up the roof and a light drops on Starchy]''
:'''Starchy''': No sudden moves, baby. He's got freaky-zombie strength.
:'''Root Beer Guy''': ''[looks up]'' Maybe it's up here. Hup!
:''[he brings the entire fireplace down, along with its remaining bricks]''
:'''Root Beer Guy''': Did you hire a maid service or something while I was gone? I sure hope they didn't throw out the &quot;I wuv you&quot; bear.
:'''Starchy''': Enough!! I should have put you in the ground a long time ago!
:'''Root Beer Guy''': Hey. I came back for her. ''[stomps his foot, a series of typha seedpods pop out of the crack]''
:'''Cherry Cream Soda''': Root Beer Guy, if that is you in there, I'm so proud of you. But this isn't fair. You ended our life together when you pulled that lever. You made the choice, and you saved the Kingdom. But you lost me. ''[leaves him]''
:'''Starchy''': Heh, burn.
:'''Root Beer Guy''': Cherry Cream Soda, I still wuv you—whoa! ''[trips over ottoman, crashes into wall; more seedpods pop out the crack. He turns back]'' You always wanted this wall knocked down anyways, right? ''[chuckles]'' Ooh...
:'''Cherry Cream Soda''': Arrhh! ''Wahh''!! You come back with no explanation, rack up the place and you expect to just pick up where we left off! '''Get out of my house!!''' ''[RBG crawls out of the wall and walks away]''
:'''Root Beer Guy''': I'm sorry.
:''[RBG leaves the house as Starchy watches him at the front door]''
:'''Starchy''': Starchy wins!

==''Mama Said'' [7.04] ==

== ''Football'' [7.05] ==
:'''Football (BMO)''': Hello. My name is Football.
:'''Jake''': Very nice to meet you, Football. 
:'''Finn''': How'd you get the name Football, Football?
:'''Football''': BMO gave it to me.
:'''Jake''': Is Beemo your little your little papa?
:''[Football starts laughing and hops her right leg to the side. Finn scratches his head]''
:'''Finn''': Uhh... so... where do you live, Football?
:'''Football''': The mirror.
:'''Jake''': Oh, yeah? What's it like there?
:'''Football''': Cold. Empty. It's... lonely.

== ''[[w:Stakes (miniseries)|Stakes]]'' ==

=== ''Marceline the Vampire Queen'' [7.06] ===
:'''Bubblegum''': You know I care about you. I think you're making the right choice. Your natural lifespan is going to be richer and fuller than you can imagine. And someday, when you die, I'll be the one that puts you on the ground.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Bubblegum''': You really like chopping wood, huh?
:'''Peppermint Butler''': I'm not chopping wood. I made a toothpick from the ancient elm! See?
:'''Bubblegum''': Oh-hoh! He-heh— ''[the tree crashes through the window]'' Whoa!! ''[a scathed Marceline peeks out the tree]''
:'''Marceline''': Uhh, knock knock.
:'''Bubblegum''': What the dip, Marceline?!
:'''Marceline''': Sorry, it was supposed to be a joke. Actually... I have something really serious to ask. I want you to do the procedure. The one we talked about?
:'''Bubblegum''': I'm sorry, but I don't think you'd make a good blonde.
:'''Marceline''': No, not that. I don't wanna be a vampire anymore.
:'''Bubblegum''': ''[gasps]'' Oh, my globness!
:'''Marceline''': You said you were working on a cure, right?
:'''Bubblegum''': ''[sighs]'' Well, the machine is built and the serums are ready, but... are you sure you wanna do this?
:'''Marceline''': I'm sure. Some bad things happened to me when I was little. When I became a vampire, I was just a messed-up kid. Now it's a thousand years later and I'm still messed up! ''[Peppermint Butler nods]'' I don't want to spend eternity like this... with this emptiness. I want to grow up.
:'''Bubblegum''': Okay... let's do this.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jake''': You done it this time, Marceline! You sucked the life out of defenseless animals!
:'''Marceline''': I ain't done nothing!
:'''Jake''': You think I'm buyin' that, Boom Boom Mountain?!
:'''Marceline''': Oh, get some proof!
:'''Jake''': You want proof? Look! ''[punches the ceiling, debris falls on his head]'' Ouch! Proof how often I'm gonna go if you don't confess!
:'''Finn''': Yo, chill, Jake!
:'''Jake''': ''[scales down]'' I'm wailing out!! ''[Finn sits on Jake]''
:'''Finn''': Listen, Marcy, I can barely control this guy. And the villagers are getting crazy! They want to run you over with a wagon, and I'm offering you a way out. ''[Peppermint Butler walks in]''
:'''Peppermint Butler''': Hey, dalewaids, I just swept the place.
:'''Jake''': Sorry.
:'''Marceline''': Finn, be real for a second.
:'''Finn''': Alright.
:'''Marceline''': Look into my eyes, man! I didn't do it!
:''[Finn stares in her deep solemn eyes. He grows suspicious as she starts twitching]''
:'''Finn''': To be honest, it looks like you're not sure if you did it.
:'''Marceline''': Okay, I'm not sure! Something... weird happened last night. I had a weird dream about stuff.
:'''Jake''': Dream stuff always means somethin'!
:'''Finn''': We'll figure this out, Marcy, together. We promise.
:'''Marceline''': Thanks, Finn.
:'''Peppermint Butler''': That's cool, you guys, but clean this mess also, you bums.

=== ''Everything Stays'' [7.07] ===
:'''Simon''': Hello, Marcy. I don't know if you'll ever hear this message. I fear my thoughts are no longer my own. Just... watch over me until I can find my way out of this labyrinth in my brain and regain my sanity! And then maybe Betty, my princess... maybe you will love me again. ''[gasps]'' Please love me again, Betty!! ''[crying hysterically]'' Okay, bye. ''[takes VHS tape out, topples camera]'' Hahh...
:'''Marcy''': Hey, Simon. I, uh... finished packing your gear. So, can I have my tape now?
:'''Simon''': What?! No! This is private, silly. ''[puts tape in sled]'' There you go, snug as a bug.
:'''Marcy''': Seriously, Simon, please don't go.
:'''Simon''': I... I have to protect you.
:'''Marcy''': How can you protect me if you're not even here?!
:'''Simon''': I'll arrange for someone to come take care of you. I'll make sure he doesn't leave.
:'''Marcy''': Please, Simon, I can help you with this!
:'''Simon''': Yeah. Maybe one day you will. But until then, you have to stay brave, my fearless Marceline.
:''[Simon tends to Marcy, as her left teardrop instantly freezes on his thumb and scratches under her eye]''
:'''Marcy''': Ouch!
:'''Simon''': You see? I have to go now. Goodbye, Marcy. ''[runs with the sled dogs]''
:'''Marcy''': But— No! Wait!! ''[traps her foot in the snow]'' Simon! Simon!!

=== ''Vamps About'' [7.08] ===
:'''Empress''': Where are we? It's like we fell asleep on a raft and woke up in strange seas.
:'''Hierophant''': Humph! Fell asleep? We died. The demon Marceline staked us all. Why are we back? How did it happen? Listen. I don't know and I don't care. We're alive, and I'm going to get eating! 
:'''Empress''': Ugh!
:'''Fool''': ''[tries reattaching his loose fang]'' Ahhh... Hey, does anyone have any milk for this? Do you, like, carry milk?
:'''Cow''': Mooooo. ''[Vampire King's hand holds him]'' Moo?
:'''Empress''': This is well and good for you, Hierophant. All you ever needed was a forest and something hot to chew on. ''[Hierophant gnaws his instrument]'' Where are the comforts of the old hive? The minions, the blood... The good blood with the gold leaf flaked into it!
:'''Vampire King''': The gold leaf was stupid. It didn't taste like anything.
:'''Empress''': We had standards! It doesn't matter when we are or where we are because we are. ''[VK licks his tongue, smudges saliva on cow's eye like eyeliner]'' We must start rebuilding our realm. There's life here and I bet it's pathetic. ''[VK starts dancing with the cow]'' We march in, we take control, and we rebuild the hive! My King, are you listening?
:'''Fool''': I dunno. Like... ''[yawns]'' What if we just got a loft downtown?
:''[a fused Empress warbles a beam at the entranced Fool]''
:'''Fool''': Whoops, I'm hypnotised. ''[slaps himself down]'' Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh! ''[crack!]''
:''[Fool lodges himself onto Sister Moon's brains and she sways him away. Moon's head soon regenerates back]''
:'''Fool''': ''[laughing]'' Good ol' backwards egg!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Marceline''': Bonnie, I don't get it. Jake's talking about vamps at the same time you fixed me, and there can't be any still around!
:'''Bubblegum''': Well, clearly something's creeping around.
:'''Marceline''': Okay, what about the paste you took out of me? That should be all that's left that's vampiric in the modern world.
:'''Bubblegum''': It's all over there, safely in the safety bucket. ''[all gone]'' What?! Pep But, what'd you do with the gunk?!
:'''Peppermint Butler''': Hold on, I'm working.
:'''Jake''': Okay, there was one that looked like if a baby snake was a baby-baby.
:''[Pep But scribbles in his sketchbook and shows an illustration of a larva-like thing with its tongue out on top]''
:'''Jake''': Nah, that's not right. There was another one that looked like if an ant hill were a girl.
:''[Pep But scribbles another, shows illustration of ant hill with eyelashes and lips]''
:'''Jake''': Nah, that's not right. There's one of them that looked like a wet uncle.
:''[Pep But scribbles another, shows illustration of a face with a tie, messy hair and moustache with teardrops]''
:'''Jake''': Nah, that's not right. There was a lady who looked like black drapes on a cake pop.
:''[Pep But scribbles another, shows illustration of a cake pop and drapes]''
:'''Jake''': Nah, that's not right. There was also one that looked like an angry stop sign coming out of a loaf of bread.
:''[Pep But scribbles another, shows illustration of what looks like a epicanthic folded face between two sides]''
:'''Jake''': Nah, that's not—oh, actually, that one's pretty close.

=== ''The Empress Eyes'' [7.09] ===
:'''Finn''': You did a tremendous job guarding the cabin, Jake. But it looks like you need to be relieved.
:'''Jake''': Yeah, I need relief. PB still working on new vampire-busting gear? 
:'''Finn''': Yeah, but she's almost done. No sign of Marceline, though. I think she ditched us to fight the vampires by herself—solo-style. We'll go look for her after PB's device is up and running. So, how did you pass the time?
:'''Jake''': Patted my laps and made some rhymes. Stoop, stoop, sittin' on the stoop. Stoop, stoop, sittin' on the stoop... ''[walks into cabin, Finn sees something]''
:'''Finn''': Is that PB's outside clock? ''[sees grandfather clock punctured with holes]'' Looks like it's been staked. What did you do?
:'''Jake''': ''[turns around, groans]'' I heard a loud snap, and my vampire-hunting reflexes kicked in! 
:'''Finn''': Dude, that was her Uncle Gumbald's outside clock. 
:'''Jake''': ''[squeaks]'' She doesn't have to know I broke the clock. Let's blame it on the vampires! ''[stretches his arms]'' Or we can hide it! Whoop! ''[pushes clock into the forest]'' Problem solved?! Yeah?! ''[Finn hi-fives]'' Whoop! ''[runs into cabin; Finn pauses for a beat]''
:'''Voice''': Snap.
:'''Finn''': Aahh!! What was that?! Vampiyah!! ''[continues throwing his stakes screaming. Pan up to see Ice King sitting on a high branch]''
:'''Ice King''': Snap, snap, snapping branches for fun.

=== ''May I Come In'' [7.10] ===
:'''Hierophant''': ''[tinkers garlic bomb]'' What is with... all this tacky, plastic ''rubbish''?!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''LSP''': Are y'all hunting wabbits?

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Hierophant''': Dunderheads! I can't even deal with all this... modern nonsense! The rest of you beat it!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Hierophant''': Marceline, listen to me. You will never defeat the Vampire King. You can't even defeat me in your current state. ''[Marceline sits down in Jake-House]''
:'''Marceline''': All right, what do you want?
:'''Hierophant''': The truth is, I hate the King as much as you do. He's a total dink. I came looking for you because I want to team up. Then you started tempting me with boy blood ''[LSP flirts at him saying &quot;Hey!&quot;]'' and hurling spiky purple gobs at me. Here's the dope. You need me. ''[Marceline moves LSP back]''
:'''LSP''': Yeah, okay, girl, you got this.
:'''Hierophant''': I don't know how it finally happened, but... he must have let you beat him.
:''[cut to Vampire King biting Marceline's neck while being staked]''
:'''Hierophant''': Am I right?
:'''Marceline''': ''[beat, facepalms]'' ''Ugh''!! All right. Say we do work together, you need to give up drinking blood. ''[turns invisible]''
:'''Hierophant''': I'm a vampire! Drinking blood is kind of the main thing.
:'''Marceline''': And you can drink red just as easy. ''[he grunts]'' No hurting poor, scared blood-filled animals.
:'''Hierophant''': ''[beat]'' Well, then I suppose I have no choice. I'm just going to waste you ''[grabs Marceline by the neck]'' and eat that kid because that's what an old-school vampire does! ''[behind the rustling bush comes out a crying Crunchy]''
:'''Crunchy''': I don't wanna play anymore! ''[bumps Hierophant into Jake-House]''
:'''Hierophant''': ''[gasps]'' No! I-I wasn't invited! ''[disintegrates]'' ''NOOOOO''...!!
:''[Marceline flies over and sucks his essence; she absorbs the laughing soul inside of her. Finn observes his skull and bones]''
:'''Finn''': Geez. What happened?
:'''Marceline''': Dude was too old-fashioned for his own good. He just couldn't get with the times.

=== ''Take Her Back'' [7.11] ===
:''[Finn and Jake burp constantly to a severely poisoned Marceline]''
:'''Bubblegum''': Cut it out! That's not helping her!
:'''Finn''': But Mom and Dad always burped on us.
:'''Jake''': It's a cure-all!
:'''Bubblegum''': Sorry, guys, there are no cure-alls. Your parents were just burping on you for kicks.
:'''Jake''': Oh, yeah, that makes sense. ''[burps]'' Oh, sorry, last one.
:'''Bubblegum''': Auh! What did you eat, Jake?!
:'''Jake''': Hey, now! I pride myself in having nice-smelling burps. Just kidding.
:'''Bubblegum''': Pride, hmm. Do you guys know what &quot;hubris&quot; is? 
:'''Finn''': It's like an old-timey deity who weighed your deeds on a scale.
:'''Bubblegum''': No, it means excessive pride or arrogance.
:'''LSP''': That's like you, PB.
:'''Finn''': Dude!
:'''Bubblegum''': No, it's true. I believed in myself so much that I was blind to the possible consequences.
:'''LSP''': Don't believe in yourself so much then, dum-dum!
:'''Bubblegum''': ''[crying]'' Now my best friend is dying of poison because of me.
:'''Jake''': That ain't true, PB! Marcy took a risk, and you helped her because you're her friend. Real friends take each other to the edge of death. 'Cause death is life! Right, Finn? 
:'''Finn''': Shoot, yeah! I get poisoned all the time just doing the dishes.
:'''Peppermint Butler''': I get poisoned on purpose—for research. I have a poison lab back at the castle.
:'''Bubblegum''': Well, let's get our butts over there, then! Find the Moon, Finn. We'll work on an antidote. You guys take her back to the poison lab. Maybe we can extract her healing powers.
:'''Finn''': Word. ''[everyone runs off except LSP]''
:'''LSP''': Hey, wait! What should I do? You guys? ''[pushes a stake out of her]'' Brrrrr... Hahahahaha!

=== ''Checkmate'' [7.12] ===
:'''Vampire King''': How many times do you want to do this, Marceline? Our lives are magnetised. ''[Marceline morphs further and charges at him]'' We're in a negative loop. But we can change our outcome this time!
:'''Marceline''': I like the outcome where you get staked!
:'''Vampire King''': And you become a vampire?
:'''Marceline''': ''Rrrrh''... ''[morphs back to normal with her head being held]''
:'''Vampire King''': Marceline... ''[she starts punching his arm]'' I know I was ruthless in the past, but tell me. What's the one thing you've noticed about the world since you beat me all those hundreds of years ago?
:'''Marceline''': Everything repeats over and over again. No-one learns anything, because no-one lives long enough to see the pattern, I guess.
:'''Vampire King''': But you've lived long enough.
:'''Marceline''': I know, duh.
:'''Vampire King''': And you still think this is the right way, fighting me?
:'''Marceline''': The other way's like a black hole. An unknown.
:'''Vampire King''': So let's consult a witch.
:''[she immediately punches his face, sending him flying into a large thick cloud. She gets a spare stake from her left boot]''
:'''Marceline''': No witches.
:''[as she flies over, the thick clouds part away to see a vocalising Vampire King in a cloud pool and shreds his suit]''
:'''Vampire King''': I'm not afraid of the unknown! ''[pounding his chest]'' I have the power to change destiny! ''[shoots a twirling column of water high in the sky, thunder crashes]'' Queen of vampires! You weigh the scales of fate! Spill my guts or face the unknown! Either way, I will not bite! For turning you would subjugate me to the wheel of fortune, and I am a king, not a hamster. My path runs straight into the void on a sick flaming chariot! ''[bursts column and rains on Finn, Jake and Bubblegum]''
:'''Finn/Jake/Bubblegum''': Whoa...
:'''Vampire King''': Stake me! I will not hide! ''[shreds his pants, thunder crashes]'' Do it, chicken! You make me sick! ''[drops down and squirms in his cloud pool]''
:'''Marceline''': Okay, dag! We'll take your stupid thing out! 
:'''Vampire King''': My what?
:'''Marceline''': Your dang vamp juice! Come on!
:'''Vampire King''': Cool.

=== ''The Dark Cloud'' [7.13] ===
:'''Marceline''': Ohh, I'm gonna poop my pants if Finn kills this guy instead of me!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Marceline''': Well... finally did it, big guy. You won. Well played. ''[watches Bubblegum, Finn and Jake as they subdue the giant cloud monster]'' Just kind of wish you would've gotten it over with a thousand years ago and saved us all some trouble.
:''[the giant cloud monster passes underneath Marceline, drenching her as it heads to the Candy Kingdom]''
:'''Marceline''': Better late than never, I guess. ''[sighs, sings]''
:''Smelled something bad''
:''Just a sec, now it's gone''
:''Was it there all along?''
:''Smelled like garbage and cheese''
:''Was it just on the breeze''
:''Or was it me?'' 
:''[another voice sings along]'' ''Was it reality?'' ''[she sees a flying ice wizard]''
:'''Ice King''': You remembered my song! ''[chuckling, lands down]''
:'''Marceline''': Simon? Wh... what are you doing here?
:'''Ice King''': Well, I saw through my peeping scope that everything was going boom and exploding and monsters, and all my friends were in grave danger and horrible torment.
:'''Marceline''': And you wanted to help?
:'''Ice King''': No!! I felt left out. I'm just a phone call away, you know. ''[Marceline hugs behind Simon, tearing up]''
:'''Marceline''': I'm sorry, Simon. Next time, for sure. ''[sighs, sits down]'' Anyway, you don't want in on this fight. This one's a loser.
:'''Ice King''': ''[sits beside her]'' Oh, I see. Sittin' this one out, huh?
:'''Marceline''': Yeah, I guess. And ''don't'' try to talk me out of it.
:'''Ice King''': What? No, no, I'm right there with you. You and me, we're survivors, right? Like cockroaches or rats. Sure, you could fight and try to save the day, but what if you lose? Then what? You could die! Better to run and hide like a rat. Right, buddy? ''[holds her in his embrace]''
:'''Marceline''': ''[pushes him]'' ''Unh''! Did you just call me a cockroach, Simon?!
:'''Ice King''': What? No! No, no, no... no.
:'''Marceline''': ''[beat]'' Thanks, buddy.
:'''Ice King''': ..Yes.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Marceline''': ''Let's go in the garden, you'll find something waiting''
:''Right there where you left it lying upside down''
:''When you finally find it, you'll see how it's faded''
:''The underside is lighter when you turn it around.''

:''Everything stays right where you left it''
:''Everything stays but it still changes''
:''Ever so slightly, daily and nightly''
:''In little ways when everything stays.''


:''Go down to the ocean''
:''The crystal tide is waiting''
:''Water's gotten higher as'' 
:''The shore washes out''

:''Keep your eyes wide open,''
:''Even when the sun is blazin'''
:''The moon controls the tide,''
:''It could cause you to drown''

:''Everything stays right where you left it''
:''Everything stays, but it still changes''
:''Ever so slightly, daily and nightly''
:''In little ways when everything stays...''

== ''The More You Moe, the Moe You Know'' [7.14-15] ==
:'''BMO''': Air? Are you there, Air? It's me, BMO. ''[walks to a snow-covered rock and sits down]'' I know it's been a long time since we talked. Sorry about that. But, well... maybe if you don't want to talk, you could just listen. Moe told me if I do this thing, I'll be all grown up. And that sounds cool, I guess. Like... ''[see a much taller BMO in his car]'' If I was grown, then I could drive to the playground all by myself. And... I could buy my own pacifiers at the store if I was grown. ''[tall BMO struggles to open the door]'' But then... if I change, will Finn and Jake still love me? ''[see smeared versions of Finn and Jake]'' Will I still love them? Moe changed into a new body... and he's still the same, I guess, sorta. But does growing up just change your body? Or... also your soul? ''[sighs]'' Maybe I could just stay the same forever.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[BMO falls out of trash compactor vent into a pile of debris]''
:'''Debris''': ''[spoke]'' &quot;Who-who's there? Moe?&quot;
:'''BMO''': No, it's only me... BMO.
:'''Debris''': &quot;BMO? Oh, thank goodness. Oh, us so glad you're here.&quot;
:'''BMO''': Who are you? Are you a MO too?
:'''Debris''': &quot;Oh, BMO, no, no, no. I am All MOs.&quot;
:'''BMO''': All MOs? Uhh... I don't understand.
:'''All MOs''': &quot;Of course not. I'm so sorry. Let me explain.&quot; ''[flashback to an earlier point in time]'' &quot;Peace had reigned at Moe's wondrous factory for a hundred hundred years. There was a place for every MO, and every MO was in its place. If you wanted a free hug, all you had to do was ask. No-one could say no. It was a rule. Until one fateful day—yesterday—when a mysterious viral signal somehow breached our firewall and was broadcast throughout the factory, instructing all us MOs to do somersaults into the trash compactor all day long...&quot;
:'''BMO''': That's horrible.
:'''All MOs''': &quot;And we've been trapped here all smushed together ever since.&quot;
:'''BMO''': That's horrible, too. How... how do we get out?
:'''All MOs''': &quot;Well, that's why we're so glad you're here, BMO. You're the key, the key to escape. Only you can save us now.&quot;

== ''{{w|Angel Face}}'' [7.17] ==

== ''{{w|Bad Jubies}}'' [7.20] ==
:''[LSP sees Jake seated on a cliff edge in front of a sunset, floats over and shouts at him]''
:'''LSP''': ''Excuse me''!! Are you not aware that we are all working our steamy butts off down there so we don't get wiped out by this crazy sky nightmare?!
:'''Jake''': Whoa, whoa! Hold up! I'm working on something up here. It's—
:'''LSP''': I SEE NOTHING!! YOU'RE WORKING ON NOTHING!!
:'''Jake''': Look, LSP, can we just take a moment to appreciate this... moment? Look at this crazy sweet sunset. ''[sees a cloud swirling in the sunset]'' When's the next time you're gonna see a sunset like this? Or any sunset, really? ''[wipes a tear leak off his eyes]'' Who knows how long we'll be down there? ''[an eagle lands on Jake's hand along with some critters and birds before LSP gets impatient and loses it]''
:'''LSP''': ''BWAAAHHHH''!!! I obviously love sunsets and cute animals, but we don't have time for this right now!!
:'''Jake''': But I— 
:'''LSP''': You know what? ''[inhales sharply]'' I just can't with you right now. ''[turns back away from Jake]''
:'''Jake''': Can't what? ''[the eagle lands back on his head, screeches]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jake''': Guys, I think this storm is more than just some scary clouds and weather junk. We've been treating each other like ding-dongs since we've been down here.
:'''LSP''': Duh! This bunker is the worst! 
:'''Jake''': Nah, nah. I think this storm's carrying some major negative energy or something.
:'''Finn''': Bad jubies.
:'''Jake''': It's making us all go nanners! I think I can help, though. Let me show you what I've been working on.
:''[he clears his throat, takes a deep breath and starts whistling as birds chirping. Finn, LSP and BMO stare at Jake for a beat. He then mimics water and frog sounds; he takes a deep breath and makes forest sounds. BMO is moved and wipes off his tear]''
:'''BMO''': That is so beautiful!

== ''Crossover'' [7.23] ==
:'''Prismo''': Thanks for responding to my call, guys. I'm in a serious pickle, and I mean the bad kind—I mean like, a really smelly brown pickle?
:'''Jake''': Don't sweat it, boi! Finn and I got your back.
:'''Finn''': Who's bullying you, Prismo?
:'''Prismo''': Nobody's bullying me. Look, um... remember when you wished the Lich never existed and you created a new wish reality that ended up totally not working out?
:'''Both''': No. / Vaguely, yes. 
:'''Finn''': What?
:'''Jake''': You don't remember making that wish?
:'''Finn''': Wha..?
:'''Jake''': I thought I explained to you that one time.
:'''Prismo''': Dude, I'll catch you up. Look. ''[turns on TV wall to see alternate Finn and Jake playing the flute and howling, respectively]'' After you wished the Lich never existed, you got zapped to an alternate wish reality where magic doesn't really exist.
:'''Finn''': Wait! ''[pause video]'' Who's that dude?
:'''Prismo''': That's you, but sort of less cool.
:'''Finn''': ..Uh-huh. Proceed.
:'''Prismo''': So, you find an old Marceline and the magic crown on the body of Ice King's skeleton, who was smushed under the weight of a frozen mutagenic bomb. But then, the Destiny Gang steal your family donkey, so you used the crown to become Ice Finn and save your donkey and your family. But... the crown makes you crazy and you ice everything up like a dumb bozo, which sets off the mutagenic bomb and releases the spirit of the Lich anyway. But then, this reality's Jake made a counter which would supposedly fix the problem, but as it turns out, it didn't really.
:'''Finn''': Can I just say that I don't remember any of this stuff?
:'''Prismo''': Because, technically, it didn't happen to you. But also, it still happened and that wish reality continues to exist.
:'''Finn''': ''[beat]'' Is this why all of a sudden one day I was way better at the flute?
:'''Jake''': Oh yeah, I noticed that.
:'''Prismo''': Listen! Something ''really'' bad is about to go down. ''[summons projection]'' Ice Finn is using his world's Enchiridion to build a portal to the multiverse. We literally do not know what will happen if he succeeds, but it could defs be catastrophic to the architecture of these realities. Now, if that happens, my boss—let me repeat that—'''my ''boss''''' will hold ''me'' responsible. And by proxy, y'all both will be in the dip, too.
:'''Finn''': Why not just bloop-bloop it all better?
:'''Prismo''': Something there is dampening my powers! I am losing my picks over this biz!!
:'''Jake''': ''[to Finn]'' His boss? Who's that?
:'''Finn''': Alright, man. What do we do? ''[Prismo summons a case to him]''
:'''Prismo''': Take this and use it to take care of the Ice Finn.
:'''Finn''': Oh. Wait, what do you mean by &quot;take care of—&quot;?
:'''Prismo''': Good luck, guys! We're all depending on you!

==External links==
[[Category:Children's television seasons]]
[[Category:Adventure Time seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>iixpudbw102no6a28l9jem96i9lqgfj</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>The Boondocks (season 2)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>190049</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943945</id>
      <parentid>3926506</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T14:00:39Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-24978-79</username>
        <id>3313403</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* The Story of Catcher Freeman [2.12] */ uncensored</comment>
      <origin>3943945</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="82697" sha1="jn1x5ed0v99oy0crfebp9ybk97n1paw" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Season''' [[The Boondocks (season 1)|1]] [[The Boondocks (season 2)|2]] [[The Boondocks (season 3)|3]] | [[The Boondocks (2005 TV series)|'''Main''']]
----

'''''[[w:The Boondocks (2005 TV series)|The Boondocks]]''''' (2005-2014) was an American adult animated sitcom on [[w:Adult Swim|Adult Swim]]. The perspective offered by this mixture of cultures, lifestyles, social classes, stereotypes, viewpoints and racial(ized) identities provides for much of the series' satire, comedy, and conflict.

=== ...Or Die Trying [2.1] ===
:''[Granddad looks at the menu and sees the extremely high prices for snacks.]''
:'''Granddad''': Damn!
:''[He looks at the Receptionist.]''
:'''Granddad''': Large, freshly-popped popcorn, please, and lots of butter.
:''[The receptionist gives him his popcorn.]''
:'''Receptionist''': ''(uninterestedly)'' Anything else?
:'''Granddad''': I asked for butter on it.
:'''Receptionist''': Butter's over there.
:''[Cut to a very poorly maintained condiment station.]''
:'''Granddad''': I don't wanna put the butter on it.  Why can't you do it?
:'''Receptionist''': You're supposed to put the butter on it.
:'''Granddad''': I don't wanna put the butter on it!  I already paid twenty dollars for this bullshit popcorn. I will not demean myself by putting butter on popcorn!
:'''Receptionist''': ''(still monotone)'' Why?  It's really easy.
:'''Granddad''': Why?  Because I don't work at the movie theater! That's why!
:'''Receptionist''': You're supposed to put the butter on it.
:'''Granddad''': ...If I go to Burger King, and order a cheeseburger, ''THEY DON'T MAKE ME PUT THE CHEESE ON IT, DO THEY GODDAMMIT!?''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''(leaving Huey and Jazmine at the movie theater after watching Soul Plane 2)''
:'''Riley:''' Heh, heh. That was great, Granddad. Boy I wish we could've seen the end of that movie.
:'''Granddad:''' I don't know. I feel bad for leaving Huey and what's-her-name.
:'''Riley:''' They knew the risks, so they might do a little time. We'll see them when they get out.
:'''Granddad:''' Ahhh, it doesn't seem right. I'm going back and turning myself in.
:'''Riley:''' Turn yourself?--man--Granddad, look, come on. I mean, I love Huey. ''almost'' like a brother, but what's done is done. We've got to let go of the past! If he don't come back, can I have his side of the room?
:''(Granddad walks away)''
:'''Riley:''' Ah, come on, Granddad! You supposed to be setting a better example!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Granddad''': What happened to the movie theater?  Y'all should be ashamed! How come when I order a soda-pop, I get an empty cup? I didn't ask for an empty cup! I asked for a soda-pop!  And what asshole started puttin' commercials in movies? I could go home and watch commercials on the TV! And the bathroom stinks; clean the fuckin' bathroom! I'm not gonna take it anymore! I paid too much money for these movie tickets to butter my own motherfuckin' popcorn! It's only popcorn!
:''[Granddad screams loud enough so that the whole movie theatre can hear him.]''
:'''Ruckus''': When'd you get here?
:'''Granddad''': ...Huh?
:'''Ruckus''': Well, I've been standin' at the ticket window all day, and I don't remember you buyin' a ticket, Robert Freeman.
:'''Granddad''': Well, I...uh, bought my tickets online...
:'''Ruckus''': AHA!  A damn lie!  I ain't never met a nigga smart enough to operate a personal computer! Not even a Macintosh!

=== Tom, Sarah and Usher [2.2] ===
:'''Riley''': ''(smiling wickedly while playing video games)'' I say toss her groupie ass out the window and let that hoe star gaze from outside.
:'''Tom''': Now Riley, There's never a place for violence in a relationship.
:'''Riley''':  ''(laughing)'' There just seemed to be a place at the restaurant last night! She made you look like a bitch in front of Usher!
:'''Granddad''': Boy, hush your mouth!
:'''Uncle Ruckus''': (To the side) Probably started out charitable. She took you in and was probably teaching you how to read.
:'''Riley''': But granddad, she did made Mr. Dubois look like a bitch.
:'''Granddad''': Yeah, we all know she made him look a bitch. But find a different way to say it.
:'''Uncle Ruckus''': Next thing you know you're rubbing against that silky white skin...
:'''Riley''': But I don't know the non-curse way to say he got &quot;bitched&quot;!
:'''Huey''': Humiliated, Castrated, Emasculated...
:'''Tom''': All right! I get the point.
:'''Riley''': I mean, I can see if was a real nigga. If you lost your hoe to [[T.I.]] I'd be like &quot;Yo, that's T.I.&quot; But Usher?! ''(laughs)'' You better check that ho Mr. Dubois!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Granddad''': Hey Tom? Tom? Get down here.
:'''Tom''': ''(walks into living room)'' Uh, what's going on guys?
:'''A Pimp Named Slickback''': Uh, Mr. Dubois, My name is A Pimp Named Slickback, and this sir, is an intervention.
:'''Tom''': An intervention?
:'''A Pimp Named Slickback''': Your friends have reason to believe that you are suffering from chronic Bitch Dependency Mr. Dubois. May I call you Tom?
:'''Tom''': ''(looks around room)'' Is this some kind of joke?
:'''A Pimp Named Slickback''': Tom, Bitch Dependency is no laughing matter. Addiction to a bitch can fuck with your friends, your health, and scary enough, even you money. It's a disease Tom.
:'''Tom''': Wait, what did you say your name was, again?
:'''A Pimp Named Slickback''': Well thank you for asking, my name is A Pimp Named Slickback.
:'''Tom''': Wait, A Pimp--?
:'''A Pimp Named Slickback''': ''(interrupting)'' --Named Slickback, yes.  Please say the whole thing, if you would.  Yes, that includes the &quot;A Pimp Named&quot; part.  Yes, Tom, every time.
:'''Tom''': Look Mr. A Pimp Named Slickback--
:'''A Pimp Named Slickback''': ''(interrupting again)'' --No need for the &quot;Mister&quot;.
:'''Tom''': I-I don't think I need any help from ''(scoffs)'' someone like you. 
:'''A Pimp Named Slickback''': And by ''(scoffs)'' 'someone like me', you mean a pimp, a bad guy?
:'''Tom''': Now look, I'm not trying to insult you, I just don't approve of what you people do to women.
:'''A Pimp Named Slickback''': ''(jeering)'' Ooooh! So ''I'm'' wrong! So ''I'm'' messed up! We'll which one of us is the one missing a bitch, Tom? You don't see ''me'' running around lookin' for a bitch! I know where all of ''my'' bitches are, ''thank'' you very much! ''(dials number)'' Bitch where you at?! ''(ho speaks)'' I'm out here, gettin' yo money! ''(Slickback retorts)'' That's what the hell I thought, thank you grandma! ''(to Tom)'' Now look at you! Bitchless! ''Sans bitch'', as the French in France would say!
:'''Tom''': ''(visibly annoyed)'' I've had enough! I'm going back upstairs!
:'''Granddad''': Tom! Tom, when we first let you stay here, we thought it was only gonna be temporary. But damn! Tom, I just don't see any end in sight!
:'''Tom''': It's only been two days--.
:'''Granddad''': ''(interrupting)'' --Nigga, hush! You're living under my roof now. If you stay here, you're going to get some help.
:'''Tom''': You know what? I know a great therapist. I'll make an appointment today! 
:'''Granddad''': ''(slowly)''That, also would have been a good idea but, we've already paid Mr. A Pimp Named Slickback a retainer of 2,500 dollars.
:'''Tom''': Robert, you shouldn't have.
:'''Granddad''': With your credit card!
:'''Tom''': Oh.

=== Thank You For Not Snitching [2.3] ===

:'''Ed Wuncler III''': Yo.
:'''Gin Rummy''': What up?
:'''Ed Wuncler III''': Yo, can you hear me?
:'''Gin Rummy''': Yeah, I see you too. Whatcha want, Nigga?
:'''Ed Wuncler III''': Aw man, same shit. What's up with you?
:'''Gin Rummy''': Da fuck you mean &quot;what's up with me&quot;? I'm sitting right here next to you.
:'''Ed Wuncler III''': Voice sound real sexy right now...
:'''Gin Rummy''': Say what?!
:'''Ed Wuncler III''': You wanna talk to me later on?
:'''Gin Rummy''': No, I don't wanna talk later on motherfucker! WHAT DA FUCK IS WRONG WIT YOU?! WHAT DA FUCK'S SO SEXY ABOUT MY VOICE?!
:'''Ed Wuncler III''': (''Reveals the Bluetooth on his left ear'') Ah man, my bad, I was on the phone.
:'''Gin Rummy''': Great, you got one of those ridiculous fucking headset.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%/&gt;
:'''Grandad''': Riley, who did this?
:'''Riley''': (''No response'')
:'''Grandad''': Dammit! Hurry up, boy! Tell us who did it! Now you gonna tell me who stole my car or I'm gonna get my belt or a 2 by 4 and go upside your head!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ed Wuncler III''': Okay, now last week I was in the strip club, right? I had titties in one hand, titties in the ''other'' hand, I had two hands full of titties. That's bigger than two scoops of raisins; I'm still talking to my accountant at the same time. What's not to like about that?!!
:'''Gin Rummy''': Okay, first of all, I don't know when you talkin' to me, or when you talkin' on the god damn phone. Second, when people wear those thing, they appear to be talkin' to theirselves, there's a name for people who talk to theirselves, Ed... they're called the homeless!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ed Wuncler III''': Man, bitches love this Bluetooth shit, it changed my life! I don't know what to do with my hands now!
:'''Gin Rummy''': Be that as it may, no technology is worth my dignity. If talking on a wireless headset means I gotta look like [[w:Buck Rogers|Buck Rogers]], then I'm not interested. Besides, there's a reason why people hold a phone to their head, Ed; it lets people around you know your talking on the phone. So those people know not to waste time talking to ya until you finish, which you indicate, by putting that mothafucka away!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ed Wuncler III''': (''into his Bluetooth while Gin Rummy is bending over to look under the bed'') &quot;You know I like the way your booty looks when you bend over; I like that a lot. Very sexy. Mm-hmm, I can make it over there later... yeah I'm real ready.&quot;
:'''Gin Rummy''': &quot;I hate that fucking headset!&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gangstalicious''': (''dancing with a bottle of Hennessey and a tennis racket'') &quot;Uh! Uh! Drop da beat! Drop da beat! Uh! Gangstalicious! / My mind's too vicious! / Eat MCs all day, mmm, delicious! / My whole crew up in dis / No doubt we gonna win dis / Smack up yo moms like I smacked Johnny Ginnis / 3 o clock yesterday / I don't care what dey say / Sucker really shouldn't play / I hit dem wit da Henne-saaaay!&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Grandad''': (''to Riley'') I'm gonna take me a nap, gonna drink me a Red Bull, then I'm wake up and beat you until you decide to talk!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ed Wuncler III''': You see, I'm what they call tecno-savvy. I fucks wit da future
:'''Gin Rummy''': Yeah, the problem is we don't live in the future, Ed, we live in the present, and in the ''present'' that shit looks ridiculous. It's not a cybernetic ear, it's a fucking cell phone headset. The only thing you gonna do wit da thing is call a bitch and unless the bitch is a Martian, there ain't no explanation for that shit to look that damn high-tech. Have you seen that shit in the mirror? You look like you're going to a fucking comic book convention!   
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ed Wuncler III''': (''to the assembled crowd'') What the fuck y'all lookin' at? (''into his Bluetooth'') No baby, I wasn't talking to you...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gin Rummy''': (''to Riley as he and Ed rode of on his bike'') Thank you for not snitching!
:'''Ed Wuncler III''': You stupid mother fucka!
:(''Ed and Rummy laugh while Riley looks like he's bound to cry'')

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ruckus''': It was them Freeman boys! I'm tellin' you you can't trust those new niggas!
:''(Everybody Gasps)''
:'''Ruckus''': (modestly) Yeah I said it...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Riley''': But what will my niggas think of me if i snitched?
:'''Huey''': What niggas?
:'''Riley''': I got niggas!!!
:'''Huey''': Where?
:'''Riley''': In da street!!!
:'''Huey''': What street?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Interrogator''': Now you listen here you little bitch. I'm gonna ask you some real simple questions and I want some real simple answers. Now you pulled into the garage and went into the house at 9.15?
:'''Granddad''': Yes, I believe, if I'm not mistaken. It was 9.15!
:'''Interrogator''': So you pulled into the garage and went into the house at 9.15?
:'''Granddad''': Ye-N..Nine. Yes, I looked at my watch and yes. Unhuh unhuh, 9.15.
:'''Interrogator''': So you're telling me &lt;i&gt;definitely&lt;/i&gt; that you pulled into the garage and went into the house at 8.15?
:'''Granddad''': Yyyyees. That's- I believe it was 8.15. &lt;i&gt;Definitely.&lt;/i&gt;
:'''Interrogator''': Hmmmm. Let me see. You know you just fucked up, right?
:'''Granddad''': No! I said... No! I said, I pulled into the garage at duh- 
:'''Interrogator''': ''(laughing)'' You know you just fucked up, right!
:'''Granddad''': No! I said... Wait a minute!

=== Stinkmeaner Strikes Back [2.4] ===
:'''Ghostface Killah:''' ''(Narrating)'' Now if y'all was payin' attention to last season, y'all know what a nigga moment is. A nigga moment is when the mind of a perfectly logical black man is overwhelmed by some stupid nigga shit, like when a nigga steps up on your sneaker and fucks up your kicks, or hits your car or some shit, and the nigga get mad like it's your fault like you fucked up. So his ignorance makes you act crazy, and the next thing you know, niggas is beefin', shootin', fightin', and somebody ends up dead. But yo... not even death can stop a nigga moment.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''The Devil:''' ''(Narrating)'' He was the baddest motherfucker that Hell had ever seen.
:'''Colonel Stinkmeaner:''' Colonel Motherfuckin' Stinkmeaner, holla at ya boy, I gets money!
:'''The Devil:''' He trained like a beast.
:'''Colonel Stinkmeaner:''' Y'all gonna have to kick me out of this bitch! I'm having the TIME OF MY LIFE!
:'''The Devil:''' He was so bad, he even called me, the Devil himself, a.
:'''Colonel Stinkmeaner:''' BITCH ASS NIGGA!
:'''Colonel Stinkmeaner:''' This is how you break your foot off in a motherfucker's ass! (''He kicks through two flaming hoops and smashes two vases'') Hi-yaaah!
:(''Several demons encircle Stinkmeaner'')
:'''Colonel Stinkmeaner:''' Oooh! You baldheaded nigga monsters tryna swarm on a nigga, huh?!
:(''Stinkmeaner begins to beat the crap out of the demons.'')
:'''Colonel Stinkmeaner:''' You just got a two-piece combo with a biscuit, ho! I got three-stick nunchucks!! AAAAAAH!! Got ya, nigga! I see ya, I see ya!
:'''The Devil:''' Stinkmeaner, your heart of darkness has earned you a trip back. You have my blessings to exact vengeance on the Freeman family and to spread ignorance and chaos in the black community. They will be no match for you.
:(''The Devil places his hand on Stinkmeaner's forehead and blasts him back up to Earth.'')
:'''Colonel Stinkmeaner:''' Hell ain't shit! I'm gonna get you, Freeman!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Grandad''': *After Huey helped him to get on Myspace* So she's on my friends list?
:'''Riley''': Yep, she's your very first cyber friend, and your her 3,000,000th
:'''Grandad''': Yaaaa boy, I love technology!
:'''Huey''': ''(narrating)'' My granddad had recently discovered online dating
:'''Riley''': You should post more pics, ho's love pictures Grandad
:'''Grandad''': I'm starting to feel like Shamar Moore up in here, Hoo! Boy lets get some music on, turn on the Mypod lets get on the ISpace&lt;br&gt;(We then see clips of Grandpa taking pictures of himself in various poses)
:'''Riley''': What outfit you want next Grandad?
:'''Grandad''': The leather vest, the one with the rhinestones (Huey walks in)
:'''Huey''': Grandad, I.... (stopped because of the shock of seeing his grandad taking a picture of his butt) I can come back
:'''Grandad''': Boy, get over here and take this picture, now whats wrong with you? why the long face?
:'''Huey''': I had a bad dream about....
:'''Grandad''': Talk and shoot at the same time boy. (Riley walks in carrying two [[Michael Jackson]] jackets)
:'''Riley''': Grandad! you want &quot;Beat It&quot; or &quot;Thriller&quot;?
:'''Grandad''': Hmmmm, that's a tough one, take them back, go get my purple speedo
:'''Riley''': Purple speedo? that's gay
:'''Grandad''': All right boy, so you had a bad dream
:'''Huey''': It was a really bad dream about...
:'''Riley''': (In the closet) I don't see the purple one
:'''Granddad''': Did you check the speedo drawer? Go ahead boy, bad dream and....?
:'''Huey''': It was about Stinkmeaner (Riley returns with a leopard-print speedo)
:'''Riley''': Leopard-print's all I could find
:'''Granddad''': Aww man (changes underwear in front of Huey and Riley, who runs out of the room throwing up) damn these things are tight, what about Stinkmeaner?
:'''Huey''': He was in hell, and he was coming back to get us
:'''Granddad''': Stinkmeaner? don't be crazy
:'''Riley''': Stinkmeaner? you mean that old man Granddad killed for no reason?
:'''Granddad''': No reason? that man was a psycho, he almost killed your grandaddy
:'''Riley''': He was blind, you killed a blind old man
:'''Granddad''': Col. Stinkmeaner was a menace, and i sent him to hell where he belongs
:'''Riley''': (Chuckles) Yeah, Grandad real tough with the handicap, he probably gonna beat up some retarded kids next.
:'''Granddad''': Yeah, this retarded man is gone whoop your little ass that's what he's gonna do... wait...you know what I meant..what were we talkin about? Ohh yeah your dream, look boy, Stinkmeaner aint comin back, he cant hurt you, me, or any of us ok...now lets get one more picture.   

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Huey''': ''(Narrating)'' Some people are scared of zombies and vampires. But the thing that scare black people the most, are niggas and nigga moments. Tom DuBois was as far from a nigga as a black man could be. But Stinkmeaner knew that every black man's spirit is weakened during a nigga moment.
:(''Tom waits patiently for a car to pull out of a parking spot. Before he can pull in, a Benz whips into the spot ahead of him.'')
:'''Tom Dubois:'''  What the...?  Oh, come on, you... you... ni...nincompoop! You can't do that! Hey!! Come on!
:'''Huey''': ''(Narrating)'' Nigga moments can happen to ANY black man at ANY time.
:(''The young black man gets out of the car, pointedly ignoring Tom. Tom gets out and follows him'')
:'''Tom Dubois:''' Hey!! That was my space! I had my blinker on and everything!
:'''Young Black Man:''' Fuck you, punk-ass, pussy-ass hook-ass, nigga! (''Tom flinches'') I'll beat your motherfuckin' sadiddy ass, nigga! Don't never in yo' LIFE ever try to holla at me, nigga! (''starts to walk away'') Fuck with me, nigga, and I'll pop da trunk on yo' bitch ass, nigga, get my motherfuckin' Uzi, nigga.
:(''Tom seethes, and starts to convulse as Stinkmeaner's spirit possesses him. Tom's face contorts evilly)''
:'''Possessed Tom''': '''''WHAT DID YOU SAY, NIGGA!?'''''
:(''Young black man stops in his tracks, turns around and walks back towards Tom'')
:'''Young Black Man''': (''annoyed'') You know what, motherfucker? Eat a dick, nigga. I'm tired of this motherf--
:(''Possessed Tom jumps in the air and kicks the young black man squarely in the chest with both feet. The force sends the young black man flying through the air and lands hard on the concrete'')
:'''Possessed Tom''': (''in a maniacal froth, the young black man cowers in fear'') OH YEAH! Look at ya! You was poppin' all that GOOD SHIT a second ago, then you got KICKED IN YO' CHEST! YOU EAT A DICK, NIGGA, ''YOU'' EAT A DICK! 
:(''Tom's face reverses to his regular self, along with his persona)''
:'''Tom Dubois''': Oh, my god! Sir, are you ok? Who did this to you? What did he look like? DID ANYONE SEE WHO ACCOSTED THIS MAN?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;''
:'''Grandad:''' (''While looking at his Myspace page'') I got a date? I can't believe it!
:'''Riley:''' Of course you got a date, Grandad! Everything on your page is a lie!
:'''Grandad:''' NO IT IS NOT!
:'''Riley:''' Grandad you don't skydive, you not Brazilian, and you never was a member of G-Unit-
:'''Grandad:''' Mind your damn business!
:'''Riley:''' -And she probably a man!
:'''Grandad:''' SHUT UP!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Ms. Wong’s Lawyer''': So, Ms. Wong, there you were NOT carjacking Mr. Teskinelli, beating him senseless with a nine-iron, stealing his wallet--
:''(As the lawyer speaks, a flashback is shown of Ms. Wong dragging a man out of his car, assaulting him with a golf club, and taking his wallet, as she says...)''
:'''Ms. Wong''': Grab your wallet, bitch!
:'''Ms. Wong's Lawyer''': -- And driving his car into the hosiery section of the JCPenney?
:''(A car is seen flying and crashing into a storefront window. Two bystanders flee. End of flashback.)''
:'''Ms. Wong''': Correct. (Ms. Wong gives a wink to her lawyer.)
:'''Ms. Wong's Lawyer''': I have no further questions. 
:'''Tom''': Now Ms. Wong, let me ask you a question. (Begins convulsing as Stinkmeaner's ghost begins to take possession.)
:'''Possessed Tom''': What's good NYUKAAA?!
:''(Audience gasp in shock)''
:'''Tom''': Gaaaah! (Covering his mouth with his hand) Oh my god.
:'''Judge''': ''(glaring)'' Excuse me Mr. Dubois?
:'''Tom''': (chuckles nervously) I said um-- (Stinkmeaner gains possession once again)
:'''Possessed Tom''': What's really good?!
:''(Audience laughs at Tom's retort)''
:'''Judge''': ''(glaring)'' Is there something 'really good' you'd like to share with the court Mr. Dubois?
:'''Possessed Tom''': '''''FUCK YOUR COURT, NIGGAH!'''''
:''(Courtroom gasps)''
:'''Judge''': ''Mr. Dubois!''
:'''Possessed Tom''': (''jumping up and down on table'') FUCK...YOUR...COURT...NYUKKAH!!!
:(''lays on back, kicking the table'') FUCK...YOUR...COURT!
:(''Tom covers his mouth and runs out of the courtroom'')
:'''Possessed Tom''': Lady Liberty's got balls!
:''(Tom runs in a panic to the nearest bathroom. he gasps in panic, looks at himself in the mirror, only to see Stinkmeaner's face.)''
:'''Colonel Stinkmeaner''': What's good, NIGGAAA?!
:''(Tom screams in horror and runs out of the bathroom.)''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Huey''': Meanwhile , I couldn't shake the feeling that an evil force was gathering. ''(Huey then sees brief flashes of Stinkmeaner training in hell, and being sent back to Earth.)'' I must be crazy.
:'''Ghostface Killah''': ''(Ghostface Killah's apparent Force Ghost appears to Huey)'' Nah, you ain't crazy. Stinkmeaner's comin' back. 
:'''Huey''': But Stinkmeaner died.
:'''Ghostface Killah''': What you gonna tell me, ghosts don't exist? Then what the fuck do I look like to you?
:'''Huey''': Ghostface Killah isn't even dead.
:'''Ghostface Killah''': Now, you say what you want, that old crazy goofy-lookin' mothafucka is comin' back. Your granddad's nigga moment ain't dead yet.
:'''Huey''': Then what am I supposed to do? If death can't stop Stinkmeaner, what can?
:'''Ghostface Killah''': Think about it. Peace. ''(Ghostface Killah's Force Ghost then leaves Huey.)''
:'''Grandad''': ''(humming)''
:'''Huey''': Look, granddad I'm really worried about Tom.
:'''Grandad''': Watch it boy, don't step on my roses!
:'''Huey''': Then why are you putting them on the floor...? But, anyway, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but I really think Stinkmeaner is...
:'''Grandad''': Oh hush boy, I ain't got time for that, now it's DATE NIGHT and you know the rules, now you get in that room I don't care if u hear a scream and hear the house shake like an earthquake, YOU DON'T LEAVE...! Now get!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tom''': Honey, I'm home.
:'''Sara''': Hey honey!
:''(Tom's face turns menacing, as he's possessed by Stinkmeaner)''
:'''Possessed Tom''': OH YEAH!.. I think I wanna have sexual relations!
:'''Sara''': Tom, what's gotten into you?
:'''Possessed Tom''': Same thing that's about to get into you!
:''(Later, upstairs showing their bedroom window outside)''
:'''Sara''': Oh, Tom!
:'''Possessed Tom''': Oh Yeah!!! Imma make it do what it do!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Granddad''': ''(typing)'' Well, I'm in the studio with Snoop Doggy Dogg and Tha Pound tonight but how 'bout tomorrow cutie pie?
:''(Possessed Tom chopping a hole in the bathroom door)''
:'''Granddad''': Aaah! What the?! Who's out there?! Boys! Boys! Help me!
:'''Possessed Tom''':  [[The Shining|I'M BAAAAAAACK, NYUGGAAAAA!]] HAHAHAHAHA!
:'''Granddad''': OH, WHAT THE HELL?! OH LORDY LORD, LORDY LORD! AHHHHHHHHHH!

&lt;hr width=“50”/&gt;
:'''Granddad''': What the fuck is wrong with you!? Tom! Oh lordy Lord! What the hell! Tom! What’s going on? Tom! Go away! I'm gonna call the police!
:'''Possessed Tom''': I'm gone get that old ass!
:''(In Huey and Riley's bedroom)''
:'''Huey''': Did you hear that?
:'''Riley''': Man I can't hear nothin over granddad's gay ass music, look out, new message aww man its a old dude with his shirt off wait! That's granddad ewww, he in the bathroom, probably just ran out of toilet paper again and I ain't getting it for him neither, nope.
:'''Huey''': Why would he send a message from...
:'''Riley''': Hey
:'''Granddad''': WHAT THE HELL! Tom! hats goin on! oh my goodness! Tom! What's goin here!? Oh help me son! Help me!
:'''Huey''': C'mon!
:''(Granddad narrowly escaping from Possessed Tom while stumbling in his speedo)'' 
:'''Granddad''': Oh my goodness! Some black people are crazy! 
:'''Possessed Tom''': Oh yeah, Here comes the Pain ''(Throw a axe at Granddad but fall down the stairs before being sliced)''
:'''Granddad''': Goodness gracious! The life! ''(Pull up his speedo)'' Tom, what's wrong with you? You on that stuff? Snap out of it, Tom. Cocaine is a hell of a drug!
:'''Possessed Tom''': You don't remember ME? You don't remember my name?! ''(He then proceeds to punch Granddad in the face.)''
:'''Possessed Tom''': What's my name, nyugga? ''(Tom does a low spin kick to Granddad's face.)''
:'''Granddad''': AAAAH!
:'''Possessed Tom''': &quot;AAAAH&quot; ain't my name. My mama didn't name me &quot;AAAAH&quot;. What's my name, nyugga?! WHAT'S MY NAME?!
:'''Huey''': Stinkmeaner!
:'''Possessed Tom''': DING-DING-DING-DING! THAT'S RIGHT, NYUGGA!
:'''Riley''': Mr. Dubois...?
:'''Huey''': I don't know how you got here, Stinkmeaner, but you're going back to Hell!
:'''Possessed Tom''': Oh yeah! I'm goin’ back, and I'm takin' ya’ll with me in the first-class cabin on the Ass-Whuppin' Express! All aboard! WHOO WHOO!

:'''Possessed Tom''': You ain't too little to get that ass whooped! Bring it on, Huey.
:''(fighting)''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Possessed Tom''': All right here we go. ''(Chop Huey in the neck)'' Is that all you got? HAHAHAHA! ''(The Freemans is unconscious)'' GET DEM UP, GET YOUR BALLS UP, NIGGA!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Possessed Tom''': Robert Freeman! You a bitch nigga! Where are you Robert? Come here and fight like a man, you fat-ass nigga!
:'''Granddad's Date''': Who's that?
:'''Granddad''': Uh, nothing!
:'''Possessed Tom''': ''(muffled)'' I know you can hear me, Robert! I know you hear me! I will not be ignored! I'm right up here!
:'''Riley''': Ain't this a bitch? Got a possessed nigga up here, and Granddad's worried about his date!
:'''Possessed Tom''': ''(breaks free from the handcuff on his right arm)'' Ah-hah! Get off me! You've got a date Robert? Did you tell her you have two sets of genitals! A vagina and a coochie! Oh, that's a conjunction! A vagina and a coochie!
:'''Granddad's Date''': What is going on?
:'''Granddad''': Oh, th-that? that's just the television. Eh, boys, turn the television down!
:'''Possessed Tom''': This ain't no TV show, nigga! This is real talk, nigga!
:'''Granddad's Date''': Uhh! My friends warned me that there were weirdoes on MySpace!
:'''Granddad''': Wait! No! That's just the TV!
:'''Granddad's Date''': It's not the fact that you obviously have a man possessed by an evil spirit, strapped to a bed upstairs!
:'''Granddad''': It's not?
:'''Granddad's Date''': No. It's the fact that you lied about it!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Uncle Ruckus''': May white god bless you Robert, I came as fast I could.
:'''Huey''': So this is the plan, Uncle Ruckus.
:'''Uncle Ruckus''': Let's get this party started.
:'''Possessed Tom''': Oh Yeah! You got bad credit, Robert!
:'''Uncle Ruckus''': Removing a evil nigga spirits from a negro is harder then removing stank from a huck of shit. We must use these tools that the Great God gave us to fight niggas; a whip, a noose, a nightstick, a branding iron! These things strike fear into a nigga's heart. A job application! Avoid conversation with the nigga. The nigga will lie. The nigga will excuse. He will use words that he don't know, if he get desperate he may started to rap or dance.
:'''Possessed Tom''': You all... testicle, and no shaft. What happen to your shaft, Robert!
:'''Uncle Ruckus''': Oh yeah. There powerful evil niggatry at work here.
:'''Possessed Tom''': HAHAHAHA!!!
:''(Ruckus open and enter Huey and Riley room along with the Freemans)''
:'''Possessed Tom''': Who in the hell are you?
:'''Uncle Ruckus''': Nigga, My name is Reverend Father Uncle Ruckus ''[No relation]''. And the name White Jesus and all the great white man who have come here after. I command the black nigga soul back from the death of hell.
:'''Possessed Tom''': (laughing) Is that all you got, nigga?
:'''Uncle Ruckus''': Oh, no, nigga.  That's just the tip of this iceberg. (opens the Bible and shoves it in Possessed Tom's face) Read, nigga, read!!!
:'''Possessed Tom''': NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (bed begins to levitate)

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Riley, Grandad and Ruckus''': Nigga! Get yo black ass out of there!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Possessed Tom''': [while Riley, Grandad, and Ruckus are performing exorcism] Oh, this gonna be fun, this gonna be comical! Haha, you gonna tickle me with a belt? Come on, give it to me! You just tickling me! Hahaha! Imma' join in too! Imma' join in too! &quot;Nigga! Get yo black ass out of there!&quot;. Aw, you niggas ain't shit! Your mothers ain't shit!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tom''': ''(reviving)'' Uh-uh- w-what am I doing on Riley's bed?
:'''Riley''': You know, that's a real good question! What are you doing in my bed?! All the beds in this house and I got the possessed nigga in my bed! Ain't this a bitch! Some ol' bullshit!

=== The Story of Thugnificent [2.5] ===
:'''Thugnificent:''''' [gesturing to his hometown],'' &quot;Now, this right here, is where I grew up. I seen everything, man, everything. I seen a nigga get killed right over there, you know? They beat him up, stomped him, shot the dude, stomped the nigga again, and then I seen 'em take a dump on the dude. I swear to god, man, they actually, like, shot a deuce on this nigga, man! They ''shat'' on a nigga, man! And I started thinking to myself; 'Man...what'd he do to make them niggas that mad?'.

----
:''(Looking at Thugnificent's extravagant mansion)''
:'''Uncle Ruckus:''' Looks like someone threw a million dollars into the monkey cage at the zoo...

----
:'''Huey:''' You ''could'' invite them over for dinner and get to know them...
:'''Granddad:''' Yeah, I... guess I could do that... 
:''(Dream sequence)''
:''(The Freemans are sitting, dressed up, at a candle-lit Sunday dinner. Suddenly, the door bursts open and Lethal Interjection barges in.)''
:'''Macktastic:''' Wazhappenin' nigga? Alright nigga, where da chicken wings and donuts at?!
:'''Thugnificent:''' ''(kicks over a chair, yelling)'' What the fuck you got to EAT in this bitch, NIGGA?!!!?!?
:''(Dream sequence ends)''
:'''Granddad''': Uh-ummm! THAT shit ain't happenin'.

----
:'''Thugnificent:''' ''(to Riley)'' Hey man, is this your brother?
:'''Huey:''' Hello. Goodbye.
:'''Thugnificent:''' Yo nigga, your brother told us how you be all into reading and shit. Hey that’s some real good shit my nigga, for real. Congratulations nigga.
:'''Huey:''' Did you just congratulate me for reading?
:'''Flonominal:''' Word, oh yeah, man, you know?  Good shit, homie, word, yaknamean?  Ya know that reading shit, yaknamean, it's hard, son!  Word, yaknamean?  Word, yaknamean, especially when them books be, yaknmean?  You know, real thick and heavy like, yaknamean?  Word, yaknamean?

----
:'''Granddad:''' You don't know where I came from! I'm from a small town called Whup-A-Rebel's-Little-Narrow-Country-Ass, and you-HEY! Put that camera back over here! I ain't finished my damn line! Ya'll makin' me homesick! There, now stick ''that'' up yo' ass!
:(''The next three lines are said at the same time.'')
:'''Thugnificent''': Eat a dick, old man! You faggot-ass, punk-ass, pussy-ass nigga!
:'''Macktastic:''' Eat it, foo'! Eat a dick, old muthafucka! Matter of fact, eat a sack of baby dicks, muthafucka!
:'''Flonominal:''' Fuck you, bitch-ass old man! No one likes you anyway, muthafucka!

----
:&lt;b&gt;EFF GRANDDAD&lt;/b&gt;

:(chorus)
:'''Nate Dogg:''' You just mad 'cos yo' ass is old (Old motherfucker!)/ First thing you do is just pick up the phone (Snitch! Eat a dick, nigga!)/ Lethal Interjection livin' next to your home / Motherfucking Grandpa / Old nigga it's on! (Old motherfucker!)

:(verse 1)
:'''Thugnificent:''' Lethal Interjection versus one old nigga / He picked up the phone / Now my finger's on the trigga / Snitchin' ain't the thing to do / So now me and my crew / Gonna show the block how to handle this fool! / He just hatin' 'cos we went from rags to riches / to baddest bitches / somebody need to ask these snitches / Why they talkin' to police? / No justice, no peace / My house is paid for / No rent, no lease!

:(chorus) x 2

:(verse 2)
:'''Macktastic:''' Dis ol' man / He played foo' / Now his ass is grass for dropping dimes on my crew / The only reason that I pack a strap / Is that I knew this old nigga was foul like [[w:Hack-a-Shaq|Hack-a-Shaq]]! 

:(verse 3)
:'''Flonominal:''' This is the type of heat / That when they start playin' it / Old folks should get their ass whupped / For acting all gay and sh--
:'''Thugnificent:''' Old-ass NIGGA!
:'''Flonominal:''' You done crossed the line / See, it don't cost a dime / so now I toss my [[w:Semi-automatic pistol|nine]]! 
:(chorus)

----
:(''Granddad and Thugnificent, apparently reconciling, shake hands and hug. The press applauds'')
:'''Granddad:''' (''quietly, sourly'') You still gonna pay for my lawn.
:'''Thugnificent:''' (''quietly, venomously'') Eat a dick, old nigga.

----
:(''Granddad is awoken by the loud music at Thugnificent's house party'')
:'''Granddad:''' Hey!!! Shut up with all that damn noise!!!! I'm an old man, y'all need to listen to some [[w:Nat King Cole|Nat King Cole]] and some [[w:Johnny Mathis|Johnny Mathis]]!!

===	Attack of the Killer Kung-Fu Wolf Bitch [2.6] ===

:'''Grandad''': ''(During a blind date who's catfished him with a phoney picture of her appearance and is eating messily)'' You know what? I've had it. This sucks!
:'''Blind Date''': What's wrong with you?
:'''Grandad''': You know what's wrong with me! When was this picture taken? 1964?
:'''Blind Date''': You saying I don't look like my picture?
:'''Grandad''': I'm saying you probably never looked like this damn picture! ''This ain't you!''
:'''Blind Date''': So is that all you care about is looks?
:'''Grandad''': '''''YEEEEEESS!'''''
:'''Blind Date''': Well excuse me for thinking you liked me for who I was on the inside!
:'''Grandad''': Well you're a liar on the inside! This whole relationship is based on a lie! ''AN '''UGLY''' LIIIEEEEE!!!'' Why in the hell does this keep happening to me, God? What did I do to deserve this? This is payback for what? What did I do to you? Tell me!
:'''Blind Date''': Maybe I should leave. Nigga, you ain't no Denzel. Hell, you ain't even no Flava Flav.
:'''Grandad''': Time after time after time. There ought to be a law, lock em up, charge em with fraud, I'd be snitchin' on ugly women all day, I should give em the chair, electrify their ugly asses, dry pool that switch quick!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Riley:''' (''To Luna, who has just arrived'') We don't keep cash in the house!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Luna:''' (''About the Kumite, a martial arts tournament'') Good times. Yeah, good times.
:'''Huey:''' The Kumite (''martial arts noise'') is supposed to be death match, right?
:'''Riley:''' You ever kill anybody?
:'''Luna:''' Hey, everybody has to die sometime.
:(''Luna eats her meal, while a flashback continues again'')
:(''In the flashback, Luna is dominating the fight against her opponent'')
:'''Old Master:''' FINISH HIM!
:(''Luna rips out the oversized heart of her huge opponent at a fighting tournament'')
:'''Announcer:''' (''his announcement displayed onscreen as he says it'') LUNA WINS...FATALITY!
:(''Flashback ends'')
:'''Luna:''' I mean I'm like, you kill ''one'' man, you kill a dozen. It's all the the same. I mean they can only hang ya once, right? (''laughs'') Am I right or am I right? (''laughs'') C'mon now, you're leaving me hanging!
:(''Huey, Riley and Granddad stare at Luna, obviously terrified'')
:'''Granddad, Huey and Riley:''' WE HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!
:'''Granddad:''' (''quietly'') *Gasps* Move it! Move it! Move! Move! Hurry! Get on! Hurry Up!
:(''Luna looks surprised at their sudden departure'')
:(''Huey, Riley, and Granddad retreat to the bathroom'')
:'''Riley:''' Thanks for inviting a killer kung-fu wolf bitch to the crib, Granddad!
:'''Granddad:''' You think I knew she was a killer kung-fu wolf bitch!? She didn't say nothing about no damn Kumitie, Kumitoo, Kumite (''kung-fu noise'') Koom, black coon, now y'all just hush! And try to figure out what we gon' do. Huey, what we gon' do?
:'''Huey:''' You gon' tell her to get the hell out!
:'''Granddad:''' I'm not gonna tell her to leave! She might hit me with one of them exploding nutsack techniques!
:'''Huey:''' Oh, come on, Grandad. She's not a kung fu master, she's crazy!
:'''Grandad:''' Shit! Then you go kick her ass out!
:'''Huey:''' But this is your respondiblity!
:'''Grandad:''' Hey, I'm willing to say in the bathroom all night!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Uncle Ruckus:''' First of all, if woman is over 35 years old and she ain't married then she must be as nutty as squirrel shit!
:'''Granddad:''' But everything was so right, and by everything else, I mean her looks. She was fine!
:'''Uncle Ruckus:''' She couldn't look that good, she was black! But I guess if you put lipstick and a wig on a monkey, it could look good too!(''chuckles, and says to himself'') A monkey in lipstick and a wig... 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:(''After telling Robert and Tom about the various abuse experiences she's had'')
:'''Luna:''' After that, I had one terrible relationship after another. I suffered every kind of abuse imaginable: Verbal...
:'''Ex-Boyfriend #1:''' I told you not to wash my bloody ski mask with detergent because it irritates my fucking [[w:eczema|eczema]]!!!!
:'''Luna:''' Spiritual...
:'''Ex-Boyfriend #2:''' Look at ya, don't nobody want you but me. You ain't fuck without me. You without me equal shit, you understand that you ugly fat bitch. Now let me borrow your car.
:'''Luna:''' ...and then there was that summer I dated Jim Brown...

=== Shinin' [2.7] ===

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Thugnificent''': What's good with you, planet Earth? This your boy Thugnificent representing Terre-Belle, Georgia. You know I'm saying? Lethal Interjection living next to your home. Check the chain, nigga! &lt;i&gt;(''holds up chain'')&lt;/i&gt; I know y'all love my music, and love my videos, and shit. But be fully prepared to drink Hella Haterade, nigga. Cause y'all 'bout to see how good it is to be me, and how bad it is to be you! We got plenty of ho's bending, we got's spinning. It's Thugnificent's crib, nigga. Let's roll. I like to give haters something to hate right when they get to the door, nigga.
:'''Doorbell Ho''': (''orgasmically'') Ding....... dong....
:'''Thugnificent''': Not nobody do it like this here, nigga. We do it real grande around here, man. Ain't nobody got one of these: A doorbell with real bitches singing the notes.
:'''Doorbell Ho''': (''orgasmically'') Ding....... dong....
:'''Thugnificent''': That's right, nigga! Whore Bell. Yeah, you know, I believe in investing in the arts. And I believe in investing in myself. Now, this shit right here, this is some old John Woo shit, nigga, from the movie killer. Know what I'm saying? That's me, though. You mad? You hating, my nigga? Well, it's hard not to, nigga. Ha-ha! You might wanna send your lady out of the room for this next one, man. She about to look at you like a serious disappointment. A living room with a motherfucking Jacuzzi, nigga. Oh, but there's more, my nigga. This is the straw that breaks the haters' camel's back, nigga. I got Hulks on tap, nigga. Observe. Shit, this one nigga came through here with his bitch - left with a case of hate poisoning, nigga. You know what I'm saying? Ay, Ay, Ay Flow, tell em about that nigga that got his spirits crushed by the rubies and and the diamonds and shit.
:'''Flonominal''': He killed himself, man. Took his own life and shit, Y'knamean? Suicide over some shit about his ex-girlfriend and all of that. We all knew the shit was about the diamonds and the rubies and the Jacuzzi!
:'''Thugnificent''': Now, this aquatic adventure park is especially for y'all niggas out there with your little inground pools, diving boards or whatever. Step your pool game up, nigga. We slide down with ours. You know what I'm saying? Your bitch does. Now, this right here is what I like to call my bitch tank, and this bitch is Debbie. Y'all broke niggas keep buying fish food if you want. Hey, don't sweat it, homey. 'Cause when it's time to show the world how the broke niggas live, maybe MTV will come to your house, and it'll be your turn to shine, but until then, tell your Moms to get off my dick, nigga. And get the hell up out of here, bitches.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Thugnificent''': Now Riley, I want you to know even though we're doing it real grand, if this rap shit don't work, we runnin' up in nigga's houses!
:(''The Lethal interjection crew all voice their approval'')
:'''Flonominal''': We gonna be hittin' the street, son! Movin' mad rock all day, sellin' that real heavy drug shit!
:(''The crew shout their approval louder'')
:'''Lenny''': Or we be flippin' those burgers at Wendy's, my nigga!
:(''The room falls silent'')
:'''Lenny''': ...know what I mean? With the fries and shit, I do whatever nigga! Shakes, all that &quot;extra ketchup? Here, you need some napkins?&quot; You feel me?
:(''More silence. Everyone just glares at Lenny'')
:'''Macktastic''': Man what the fuck is you talkin' about?
:'''Thugnificent''': What the fuck was that?
:(''Everyone else grumbles insults'')
:'''Lenny''': I'm sorry man, I wasn't thinkin' about it. I shoulda said, like... Burger King...
:(''Thugnificent glares'')
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Riley''': Hey, if nigga's ain't mad at you, you're doing something wrong!
:'''Huey''': By that definition then, you have a very bright future.
:'''Riley''': Thanks, man!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Riley''': (''narrating'') Since I woke up, I knew who took my chain: Butch Magnus Milosevich.
:'''Man''': Butch Magnus?
:'''Teen''': Crazy Butch Magnus? Something is really wrong with that kid.
:'''Old Woman''': The most fucked-up child I've ever seen in my life. My long-ass, sorry, mothafuckin', goddamn life!
:'''Woman''': Butch Magnus? Awful, terrible human. Makes me sick just to think of him! I'm gonna vomit now.
:'''Riley''': (''narrating'') Otherwise known as &quot;One-Punch Butch&quot;. He like to jack you first and ask you for your shit all after the fact.
:'''Butch Magnus Milosevich''': (''punches a kid and takes his sandwich'') What kind of sandwich is this? (''punches a kid and takes his iPod'') What are you listening to? (''punches a kid off his bike and rides off with it like [[w:Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas|Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas]]'') Let me ride your bike real quick, bitch!
:'''Riley''': (''narrating'') Last year, Butch was expelled from the Jesus, Mary and Joseph Academy For Boys for assaulting a nun.
:'''Butch Magnus Milosevich''': (''takes the paddle'') Gimme dis shit!
:'''Nun''': Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
:'''Riley''': (''narrating'') He even made it on one of those Maury Povich episodes where they send the kids to Boot Camp.
:(''Butch is sitting on stage casually, next to a security guard. An imposing drill instructor marches onto the set and starts yelling in Butch's face like [[w:Major Payne|Major Payne]]'')
:'''Drill Instructor''': YOU LISTEN TO ME YOU LITTLE FAT TURD, I'M NOT YO MOMMA AND I'M NOT GONNA PUT UP WITH THIS MO--
:(''Butch smiles and headbutts the D.O. viciously, breaking his nose.'')
:'''Drill Instructor''': AAUUUGHHHH!! (''collapses as blood gushes from his nose'')
:(''The security guard tries to restrain Butch, only to be clobbered by a chair. Butch then smashes the chair on the terrified Drill Instructor.'')

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Thugnificent''': Riley, why you didn't tell us someone jacked yo' chain?
:'''Riley:''' I didn't want y'all to think I couldn't handle my shit like a man.
:'''Flownominal:''' Riley, that's the whole ''point'' of bein' in a crew, nigga! So you ain't ''never'' gotta handle yo' own shit like a man!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Riley:''' HEY! &quot;Bitch&quot; Magnus!
:'''Butch Magnus Milosevich''': Whatchoo call me??
:'''Riley:''' I call you a bitch, cuz you a bitch! What, you thought I wasn't gonna come see you? You thought you wasn't gonna get the taste smacked out of your mouth for trying to jack ''Young Reezy''? You better fall back, nigga!
:'''Butch Magnus Milosevich''': You can't beat me! I'm Butch Magnus! ''AAARRRGGGHHH!''
:'''Riley:''' You do real good when you come outta nowhere and sucker punch a nigga. Why don't you fight a nigga straight up?
:(''Butch stalks up to Riley... the monstrous bully literally blocks out the sunlight as he towers above Riley. Riley stands his ground but looks just a little worried.'')
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Huey:''' Well, you were looking for hate.  Way to go.
:'''Riley:''' Shut up, punk!  Instead of bein' Mr. Funny Nigga, why don't you try bein' Mr. Help-A-Nigga-Go-Jump-A-Nigga-And-Get-His-Chain-Back?  Man, I gotta find a way to get it 'fore Thugnificent finds out.
:'''Huey:''' Riley, let the chain go.  If Thugnificent wants it back, he can handle it.
:'''Riley:''' Then he'll think I'm a punk and kick me out the crew!
:'''Huey:''' It's just rocks and metal.  It's only worth what you're willin' to give up for it.  Is it worth gettin' hurt again?
:'''Riley:''' Yeah.
:'''Huey:''' Goin' to jail?
:'''Riley:''' Yeah.
:'''Huey:''' Gettin' killed?
:'''Riley:''' Yessir!
:'''Huey:''' Kissin' a man?
:'''Riley:''' Yeah-yeah! ''(A look of shock appears on Riley's face, and he covers his mouth.)'' Oh! NO!
:'''Huey:''' WHOA!  Kissin' a man?  I mean, if it feels natural and that's what you're into, I mean... ''(Huey gets up and walks to the door without looking back.)''
:'''Riley:''' No, that don't count!  That's a do-over!  I didn't know you was gon' say dat!
:'''Huey:''' Guess you really want that chain back. ''(Huey opens the door and walks out.)''
:'''Riley:''' NO! THE ANSWER IS NO!!  ''(...and the door shuts.)''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Riley:''' Come one, Ed, you gots to help me out.
:'''Ed Wuncler III:''' Kidnapping? Uh, I don't know, Riley. My grandpops would be tripping, man. Why don't you, you know, try something different, like diplomacy for change?
:'''Riley:''' Man, just snatch him up, and if the nigga don't have the chain on him, get the regulatin' him, and make him tell you where it alt.
:'''Ed Wuncler III:''' ''[To a tied-up child hanging by his feet from the ceiling]'' Now, what I want you to do is think - just think - these two grapes, is your two little itty-bitty-kiddie testicles. ''[He smashes the grapes with a massive sledgehammer.]''
:'''Ed Wuncler III:''' WHERE IS THE CHAIN?
:'''Boy:''' ''[crying]'' I don't know, I swear to God!
:'''Ed Wuncler III:''' Don't swear to God. I talk to God all the time and God happens to be the one who told me to torture your ass, ya lyin' stealin' motherfucker. ''[raising the sledgehammer to take a swing at his face]'' You gonna tell me where that chain is, I know that!
:'''Riley:''' Ed, can I talk to you outside? Please?
:'''Ed Wuncler III:''' [''Grabbing the boy's hair''] Look at my face. Look at it! I'm gonna crush your little kiddie penis with this hammer when I get back, if you don't tell me where that chain is at!
:'''Boy:''' [''Wailing incoherently''] 
:'''Riley:''' ''Now,'' Ed! ''[Riley and Ed leave the room]'' That's the wrong kid, Ed! I told you to grab Butch Magnus, 5'4, 130 pounds!
:'''Ed Wuncler III:''' Well, how was I supposed to know that was the wrong kid?
:'''Riley:''' I gave you a picture, man, how hard is it to grab the right kid, Ed?
:'''Ed Wuncler III:''' ''[Walking back into the room]'' You told me to grab a kid. I grabbed a kid. You don't like the way I do it, then do your own kidnapping. ''[untying the boy]'' You know what, that's your only freebie. You want me to kidnap anyone else, you payin' top dollar.
:'''Riley:''' That's not fair, you grabbed the wrong kid!
:'''Ed Wuncler III:''' Tough titty! ''[To the boy]'' My bad. You go ahead and leave. ''[As he cowers]'' What the fuck you lookin' all scared for, huh? I said you was free to go right? Which part of 'my bad' do you not understand? Oh, so now you wanna make this a whole big fuckin' thing, huh? Well, fuck you, then! ''[he lunges at the boy, to be stopped by Riley]''
:'''Riley:''' Woah, okay, okay, enough, man, enough!
:'''Ed Wuncler III:''' Naw, naw, man, I'm sick of this shit, I'm tryin' to squash it, right, and this bitch-ass motherfucker still actin' like he hurt and shit. ''[Grabbing at the boy with every sentence]'' I ain't even ''touched'' this motherfucker, yet! I ain't even ''brushed past'' you yet, I ain't even make ''eye contact'' with your punk-ass! ''[As the boy runs away screaming]'' Yeah, come on over here, I'll give your bitch-ass something to cry about!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:(''Flonominal and Riley confront Butch at the baseball field'')
:'''Flownominal:''' Butch Magnus!
:(''Butch turns around with his usual defiant sneer'')
:'''Butch Magnus Milosevich''': Eh?
:'''Flownominal:''' Yeah, motherfucker! You fuck with ONE member of Lethal Interjection, you fuck'd with every last one of us! (''starts forward -- Butch doesn't budge'') Come try some of that tough shit with ME, you little--
:(''Butch slams a baseball bat into Flownominal's knee.'')
:'''Flownominal:''' Oh! Man!!! (''collapses'')
:'''Riley:''' ''(winces)''
:'''Flownominal:''' (''writhing on the ground'') My motherfucking' leg! Owww! 
:'''Butch Magnus Milosevich''': You can take this piece of shit chain! My dad had it appraised -- he said it was WORTHLESS! (''throws the chain down next to Flownominal'')
:'''Flownominal:''' (''in agony'') Oh Jesus!!! My motherfucking! Oh Jesus!
:'''Butch Magnus Milosevich''': Ya broke bitch! Get a real chain! (''casually walks off'')
:'''Flownominal:''' My leg is broken!! Aauuughhh.... (''sobs'') Mother(Beeped)'... stupid ass bitch! Motherfucker... oohhhh!
:''(Riley picks up the chain)''
:'''Riley:''' (''narrating'') Know what? Still better than an old funky &quot;necklace&quot;!
:''(Riley walks away proudly)''
:'''Flownominal:''' ...punk motherfucker! (''notices Riley leaving'') Man, Riley! We cool, nigga! Remember?!! Come help me, Riley! We in a crew! Augghh!! (''Riley doesn't even look back'')

=== Ballin' [2.8] ===


:(''Annual All-Star Weekend presenter on Riley'')
:'''Presenter''': Here he is winning the 3-point contest, making it rain like [[w:Lil Wayne|Lil' Wayne]] out this Mother(Beeped)! Without taking off his warm-ups! Or his Tims, nigga!

----

:'''Presenter''': Man, check out how Young Reezy shitted on these niggas in today's game! Here's Riley goin' up against Kobe Bryant, and breaks his ankle! Look at that bitch as nigga limpin' off the floor! Ooh, no wonder they ride his nuts so hard! Seems like Yao Ming wants some too! Get yo' bitch ass out the way, nigga!

----

:'''Presenter''': Shaq! Seventeen blocks from Riley, you had one. That's got to make you feel (Beeped) up!?
:'''Shaq''': It did at first, then I realized hating on Riley's superior game doesn't make my game any better, so I guess I have to work harder, step up to his level, that's what great players do, they bring the best out of everyone on the team.
:'''Presenter''': So he's better than you?
:'''Shaq''': Yes.
:'''Presenter''': And stacks more paper and get more hoes than you, nigga?
:'''Shaq''': Absolutely.

----

:'''Uncle Ruckus''': ''(blows referee whistle)'' Alright everybody, keep an eye on your wallet! Heh, heh heh! ''(to Riley)'' Look here ol' dawg, the only stealin' and shootin' I wanna see is this here b-ball, ya little future ex-con!

----

:''(Riley wants to change the name of the team from the Woodcrest Deers)''
:'''Tom Dubois:''' You don't like the name? We rep Timid Deer!
:'''Riley:''' I don't ''wanna'' rep Timid Deer. I want to rep something that doesn't sound faggy!

----

:(''Uncle Ruckus is reffing the basketball game.'')
:'''Uncle Ruckus:''' (''to Riley, regarding Cindy McPherson'') Lookin' at the white girl is a [[w:Personal_foul|foul]]. Speakin' to the white girl is a [[w:Technical_foul|technical foul]]! And touchin' the white girl... ho-ho ho ho ho, now that's a LYNCHIN'!

----

:'''&quot;Fearsome&quot; Cindy McPherson''': Uh-Oh. Don't get picked by a girl now! I don't think you want that. ''That'' ain't pretty!

----

:(''Cindy is taunting Riley on the court as she stands dribbling'')
:'''&quot;Fearsome&quot; Cindy McPhearson''': Got 'em.... Got 'em.... Got 'em!!
:(''Blows past Riley and scores with a layup'')
:'''Uncle Ruckus:''' FOUL, FOUL, keep your hands off that little girl
:'''Riley''': Come on man, that’s some old bullshit!
(''ruckus blows the whistle:'') That's a technical foul!
:'''Riley''': 'Yo momma so ugly...' No, wait. We can say, 'yo momma so black, when she gets out of the car, the oil light comes on!'
:(''Huey looks at the opposing sideline, at Cindy's mother -- a very beautiful (and very white) woman'')
:'''Huey'''': I don't think that's going to work.

----

:(''After his team lose the last basketball game.'')
:'''Tom Dubois:''' Motherfuckers! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Pricks! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shhhhhheeeeiiiiiittttt!

----

:'''Riley Freeman:''' Yo momma got caught givin’ up neck in the bathroom at the Woodcrest Country Club and it wasn't yo daddy.

----

:'''Uncle Ruckus: ''' (talking to Riley) white man made you look like a fool, aint no surprise to me all the greatest basketball players have always been white still are Larry Bird, Dirk Novitzki oh sure he's ugly as hell on the face but he's as white as rice.

----

:'''Riley:''' Huey?
:'''Huey:''' Yeah?
:'''Riley:''' I don't like losin'.
:'''Huey:''' Well, then stop beatin yourself.
:'''Riley:''' Huey?
:'''Huey:''' Yeah?
:'''Riley:''' You still a bitch! ''(laughs)''

=== Invasion Of The Katrinians [2.9] ===

:'''Robert &quot;Granddad&quot; Freeman''': I've seen that raggedy piece of shit house. That nigga ain't lost that damn much.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Riley Freeman''': Everybody knows that New Orleans Niggas is grime-y!&quot;
:'''Nique''': (walks by) &quot;Yup, thanks wotey&quot;
:'''Riley Freeman''': &quot;That's my hat!&quot;
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Jericho's Mother''': The Lord will provide another lamp!!! Praaaaiiise JESSSSUSSS!!!!!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Uncle Ruckus''': I hate jazz music, sounds like a﻿ long car wreck with a bunch of cats!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Uncle Ruckus''': Ever hear of that movie, [[w:When_the_levees_broke|When The Levees Broke]]? I got me a documentary called 'When Are The Levees Gonna Break Again?
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robert &quot;Grandad&quot; Freeman''': I'm sorry the levees broke but if they don't get their black asses out of here, I'm gonna be broke.

:'''Uncle Ruckus''': I got a dog named Levee and every time it rains I kick him.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Jericho''': Come on Robert, what would mama say it she knew you were kickin' out your family?
:'''Robert &quot;Granddad&quot; Freeman''': SHE'D SAY GET THEM BROKE-ASS NIGGAS THE FUCK OUT!!!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;

:'''Jericho's mother'''   (praying for Robert Freeman as a pipe organ plays in the background): I ask You to bless him, Lord, and keep providing for him, Lord, so that he may keep providing for us, Lord! JESUS!!!! Amen! As we walk in Your glory...
:'''Robert &quot;Grandad&quot; Freeman''': GET OFF OF ME WOMAN!!!

=== Home Alone [2.10]===

:'''Riley:''' Bitch, this all you got?!! Three dollars and a prepaid cellphone with only two fucking minutes left on it?!!

----

:'''Uncle Ruckus:''' Hey there Robert! I'd offer to help you with your bags, but you a coon!

----

:'''Uncle Ruckus:''' Ain't nobody talking while I'm talking, so shut the fuck up! My name is Uncle Ruckus and I will be nigga-sitting you two until your grandfather returns. Your granddad had picked me cause I am a licensed zoologist. I have studied a variety of wild animals and the African male, if by far, is the most savagely cunning. This is an opportunity to observe you niggas in your natural habitat and collect data. But be warned, whatever nigga trickery you got up your sleeve does not affect me!

----

:'''Huey:''' I'm not gonna fight you, I'm grounding you!
:'''Riley:''' Ground me? What is this? [[Family Ties]]? Nigga, you can't ground me!
:'''Huey:''' I just did. Don't leave the house.
(''Riley is preparing to leave the house'')
:'''Riley:''' (under breath) This nigga musta lost it! I wanna know what this nigga be smokin' on! Shoot. Talkin' about I'm grounded. I'm Young Reezy! I goes where I wants'ta go.
(Huey begins to run at a rapid pace as Riley opens the door).
(Huey kicks Riley in the face).
:'''Huey:''' Your grounded.
:'''Riley:''' (After being drop-kicked) You better have eyes in the back of yo' head, nigga.
----
:'''Huey:''' I have supreme authority while Granddad's away!
:'''Riley:''' You got supreme authority over these nuts, nigga!
----

:'''Riley:'''(after being thrown in closet) I'm closet-phobic!

----

:'''Huey:''' You ready to come out? 
:(Huey opens the closet door, but Riley is no longer inside. Riley appears in the hallway with a set of [[Air guns]] and starts shooting at Huey)
:'''Riley:''' Say hello to the bad guy! Hee-hee! Heh heh heh heh!
:'''Huey:''' Damn it Riley! You ruined our family! You drove granddad away, now he's never coming back!
:'''Riley:''' Granddad left 'cause of you! Nobody likes you Huey, 'cause you're a gay-ass, hater, fagey boy! Heh heh heh! Heh!
:(A gun battle ensues)
:'''Riley:''' Okay! I'm reloaded! Hee-hee! Heh heh heh heh! How you like that, fool?
:(Both have guns pointed at each others heads, at point-blank range)
:'''Huey:''' Why does it always have to end up like this?
:'''Riley:''' Cuz youse a bitch.
:'''Huey:''' Don't do it.

:(They both pull their triggers and knock each other out)

----

:'''Riley:''' Can't you just be happy to see another nigga fitted up--lookin' dipped and buttered and shinin' and glistenin'?
:'''Huey:''' Were gonna run out of food in a few days, Riley.
:'''Riley:''' You suppose to be in charge. You suppose to be the leader. Lead us to some breakfast then, nigga.

=== The S-Word [2.11]===

:'''Huey:''' You both say the word &quot;nigga&quot; all the time.
:'''Robert &quot;Granddad&quot; Freeman:''' I do not!
:'''Huey:''' Riley thought it was his name until he was three.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''[[Ann Coulter]]''': (''repeated line'') I mean... [scoffs]
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ann Coulter''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Interviewer''': So Riley said the n-word before you did that morning?
:'''Joe Petto:''':  He says it every morning! He calls me &quot;nigga&quot;, he calls the other kids &quot;nigga&quot;, he calls himself nigga. All the time. &quot;Nigga this, nigga that.&quot; &quot;Nigga, please.&quot; &quot;Bitch nigga.&quot; &quot;Nigga, have you lost your mind?&quot; &quot;Nigga, check that ho.&quot; &quot;Nigga, you bullshittin'.&quot; &quot;Break yourself, nigga!&quot; He says it so much, I don't even notice it anymore. Last week in lunch, Riley says to a classmate, &quot;Can a nigga borrow a french fry?&quot; and my first thought wasn't &quot;Oh my god, he said the word; the n-word.&quot; It was &quot;Now how is a nigga gonna borrow a fry? Nigga, is you gonna give it back?&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Huey:''' The problem with restraining speech is, who gets to set the rules? If it's only okay in a certain time or place, who gets to say what time and what place? Bill Cosby?
:'''Bill Cosby:''' B'yes! As a matter of fact I get to set the rules about what is appropriate to say and what is not appropriate to say! Forrrrr example: The other day a youth walked up to ME and asked &quot;what it do?&quot; He sounded like he was auditioning for a slave epic! Proper way to say that sentence is &quot;What DOES it do?&quot; I personally blame the MOTHER...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bill Cosby:''' I don't think black people should ever use racist words when describing other black people. And if you DO, then you're a Sambo, and a Coon. B'HAH HAH HAH HAH.

=== The Story of Catcher Freeman [2.12] ===

:'''Uncle Ruckus:''' (about Huey's story): What website is that? 
www.madeupmonkeyshit.com ----

:'''Slave:''' Hey Master, Deanda send a message for you.
:'''Slave Master:''' I don't know of anyone named Deanda. Deanda who?
:'''Slave:''' De End'a my DICK, Nigga!

''(Tobias has just been whipped by Colonel Lynchwater who has just left)''
:'''Tobias:''' You guys are real fucking' assholes, you know that?!?!
:'''Slave 1:''' C'mon, man, look on the bright side. You get to hang out here in the fields. With the real niggas. Ain't you sick of the white man?
:'''Tobias:''' You know what I'm sick of? You two blaming the white man for everything. The white man this. The white man that. You'll never get anywhere with that attitude.
:'''Slave 2:''' Man, fuck that white nigga. That's your master. I don't know that nigga.
:'''Tobias:''' All I'm sayin' is, you stop bein' a victim, you might be able to better your life on your own.
:'''Slave 1:''' You ain't said nothin'. Ima do that. You better believe it. As soon as Catcher Freeman rides through here with his brigade and cuts that cracker's head clean off, unh, I'm outta here. You ain't never see no nigga be gone like Ima be gone. Tell you somethin'. You ain't seen no nigga ride out like me AND Ima join the gang. I got a letter sayin' I could join Catcher Freeman's brigade and ride out with that nigga. 
:'''Slave 2:''' Damn, you get mail, nigga?
''(Tobias starts laughing)''
:'''Tobias:''' That's your plan?! Catcher Freeman, huh? Why don't I just wait for Santa Claus to take you away on his sled?
:'''Slave 1:''' Nigga, you don't believe in Catcher Freeman?!
:'''Tobias:''' (mimicks Slave 1) Of course I don't. I don't believe in the Easter Bunny either.
:'''Slave 2:''' I'm tellin' you, man. Catcher Freeman is real. He go round from plantation to plantation freein' all the slaves and shit. He like 14 feet tall. Got trapezeous muscles and biceps. It's crazy. He ain't just no normal nigga, he Supernigga. He like a black-ass Batman if you will. And he can fly. Underwater.
:'''Riley (V.O.):''' Wait, how'd they know who [[Batman]] is?
:'''Granddad (V.O.):''' STOP INTERRUPTING!
:'''Tobias:''' Ha! That's ridiculous! I don't even know who [[Batman]] is!
:'''Slave 2:''' And what's your plan, house nigga? I bet you don't even wanna escape, all on Master's nuts.
:'''Tobias:''' Oh I'm gonna escape all right. I'm gonna escape with this (points to his noggin), ok? With my mind. I've got this (pulls out a manuscript). It's a play but for the screen. 
:'''Slave 1:''' What screen, nigga? We in the 1800s.
:'''Tobias:''' I've thought of a new way to display moving pictures on a screen. Of course, it's all abstract since I don't have any actual film or cameras or anything. But I'm gonna show Master Colonel my screenplay and when he reads it, he's gonna know this could be a huge projection.
:'''Slave 2:''' Nigga, you tryin' to get off the plantation by sellin' a script? (They both start laughing) Nigga, you ain't even supposed to know how to read! How you gonna sell a script, asshole? Plus there's a writer's strike, nigga!

----

:'''Field Slaves:''' Take our black asses outta here/ won't you take our black asses outta here/ won't you come save us, Catcher/ and kill all these crackers/ Lord take our black asses outta here
:'''Lead Singer:''' Sing this muthafucker now!!!
:'''Field Slaves:''' Take our black asses outta here
:'''Lead Singer:''' Massa Colonel youse a bitch nigga
:'''Field Slaves:''' Won't you take our black asses outta here
:'''Lead Singer:''' Gonna burn yo...
''(song is cut off mid-sentence)''

----
:'''Master Colonel''': Thank you, Tobias. I want you to know, you've always been like a son to me, except I would never ever lay with your black jungle bunny momma. 
:'''Tobias''': Oh, master!
:'''Thelma''': KILLS DEM BOTH!

----

:'''Tobias:''' NO! You lyin' black bitch! That's wasn't a week! Oh!

----

:'''Riley:''' Where y'all goin?! Y'all aint give me a chance to tell y'all my story! Y'all aint heard my Catcher Freeman story yet! My Catcher Freeman story better than all o' y'all! See my Catcher Freeman wurrn't no slave; he was like &quot;fuck that shit, I'm a real nigga&quot; y'know what  sayin'! Plus he had 300 hoes and didn't just have no Thelma, he had all kinds of bitchez! And he rode a Bentley Coupe with twenty-fours and guns on the rims nigga what!

----

:'''Robert:'''It's a bird, it's a plane, no it's Catcher Freeman! ''(Catcher jumps out a tree and proceeds to kill some white men)'' Get them, Catcher! Looks at him go. Look out, Catcher, behind you! ''(Catcher throws his sword into a white man's mouth, killing him)'' Oh, he got that cracker! Ha Ha!
''(Story pauses)''
:''Riley:'''Hold up, hold up! How this nigga learned that ninja shit? They didn't know about that back then!

----

''(Catcher leaps from tree to tree like Tarzan)''
:'''Uncle Ruckus:''' Look at that nigga go! Ha Ha!
''(Story pauses)''
:'''Riley:''' Oh look you see that nigga flip from tree to tree like on some old Tarzan shit? Wait, wait, wait, bring that back; I need that again!
:'''Uncle Ruckus:''' I be happy to that for ya. (Scene rewinds and starts up again) Look at that negro go again! Ha Ha!

=== The Story of Gangstalicious Part 2 [2.13]===
:'''Host:''' Ok. Ok. Here it is. This yah boy! This yah boy look ok this moment you've all been waiting for. It's the world premier and that's not just around here that's the whole world. The brand new Gangstalicious video, the song is called Homies Over Hos.
:'''Huey:''' (''The host is still talking in the background about the video'') I thought you hated Gangstalicious.
:'''Riley:''' I mean he a punk and all that, but he send a nigga some free CDs and apologized and all so I decided to squash it.(''music starts to play'') He still a punk though.
:'''Gangstalicious:''' Homies over hos (''bitch''). Homies over hos (''bitch''). Homies over hos (''bitch''). Homies over hos (''bitch''). Do the homie. Do the homie. Do the homie. Do the homie. You never catchin' 'Lish, rollin' with no bitch, 'cause bitches ain't (Beep). And so my crew is thick..
:'''Riley:''' The beat is iight.
:'''Gangstalicious:''' ... ''A bunch of knuckleheads. With bald heads and dreads. Nigga we hatin' on them hos like we hate the feds. Bitch can't you see fall back away from me. Me and my niggas bumpin' chests in the VIP. Now bump it to the left. Now bump it to the right. 'Cause when you do the Homie got to do it right.''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Huey:''' Come on Riley. The song? The dance. I mean... &quot;do the homie?&quot;
:'''Riley:''' The homie dance ain't gay. I do the homie.
:'''Huey:''' That's not gay? You who thinks everything in the world is gay.
:'''Riley:''' (flashbacks of riley) Nigga you gay. You gay. Ya'll niggas are gay. Nigga you gay. That's gay.
:'''Huey:''' You don't find any of that gay at all?
:'''Riley:''' Okay, so all that others stuff was gay. But Gangstalicious ain't gay. You cant just go throwin in that &quot;gay&quot; thing around Huey. Thats a serious accusation.
:'''Huey''': You the one who said he kissed a guy.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Uncle Ruckus:''' What in tarnation is he wearing?
:'''Granddad:''' I don't know. Do you think he's...?
:'''Uncle Ruckus:''' On the train to Faggotsville? Absolutely. No doubt in my mind. I'm so sorry, Robert. A gay grandson, huh? I can't imagine anything worse than that.
:'''Granddad:''' Not Riley! Maybe there's another explanation. Maybe this is some kind of crazy sitcom misunderstanding.
:'''Uncle Ruckus:''' No, wake up! Wake up and smell the gay coffee! All the evidence you could possibly need is right in front of your face. It'll only be a matter of time before that little boy be a grown man bent over a table with his pants 'round his ankles being entered repeatedly by another man. Toot toot! Last train to Faggotsville leavin' in five minutes! Leavin' in five minutes for that chocolate tunnel hole!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''A Pimp Named Slickback:''' So you see, my dearest Riley, it is this instinctive and burning need to procreate between a man and a bitch that not only keeps the human race going but also fuels many important industries such as my very own.
:'''Riley:''' So what do you think about Homies Over Hoes?
:'''A Pimp Named Slickback:''' Is that something at Denny's? I don't know what that is.
:'''Riley:''' Homies Over Hoes? You know, like, you supposed to put your homie over a ho. That's how pimps do, right?
:'''A Pimp Named Slickback:''' I don't think Homies Over Hoes is a sentiment that A Pimp Named Slickback can cosign, Riley. I mean don't get me wrong. A Pimp Named Slickback would put a lot of things over a ho. Money over a ho? Always. Brand new gators over a ho? Absolutely. A turkey sandwich with just tomato? Guaranteed. But homies? Oh no. A Pimp Named Slickback don't do shit for the homies. Let me reiterate. '''''Don't do shit for the homies.''''' Unless the homie wanna walk that stroll and get that money, a homie ain't gettin' a goddamn thing. And the same goes for brothers, peeps, dudes, fellas, dunnies, comrades, whatever the fuck niggas is callin' each other nowadays. Sound like some gay shit to me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Huey:''' I like Elton John. But that doesn't make me gay.
:'''Riley:''' Is Elton John gay?
:'''Huey:''' Yeah.
:'''Riley:''' See? And YOU gay. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Riley:''' (''gesturing effeminately'') I'm the most not-gay nigga of the not-gay niggas of the whole universe!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Riley:''' My nigga, I watch BET everyday, feel me? Ain't nuttin' wrong wit' me, feel me? Nigga you just hatin', feel me? That's why you ain't never gonna have no paper, ain't never gonna have no bitches, feel me?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:(''regarding Gangstalicious'')
:'''Riley''' He's gay. (''pause'') Isn't he?
:'''Huey:''' Yep.
:'''Riley:''' And I was his biggest fan. That makes me gay, don't it?
:'''Huey:''' (''pauses briefly, taking the cheap shot'') ...Yep.
:(''Riley breaks down into tears'')
:'''Huey:''' (''to himself, quietly'') I know it's wrong. But I really want my own room.
:(''Huey walks to the door, and leaves just as Grandad walks in.'')
:'''Huey:''' Take it easy on him, Grandad. He's just -- tryin to come to terms with it.
:(''Grandad kneels down next to Riley to console him.'')
:'''Riley:''' (''pitifully'') Grandad... I think I might be....
:'''Grandad:''' It's OK, son. I know.
:'''Riley:''' ...I might be.... (''breaks into sobs'')
:(''Grandad hugs Riley as they both cry'')
:'''Grandad:''' It's OK, it's OK. Oh. You're a gay! Boy! How did that be, how did that happen....

=== The Hunger Strike [2.14]===
:'''Deborah Leevil''': Our leader, Bob Johnson had a dream. A dream of creating a network that would accomplish what hundreds of years of slavery, Jim Crow, and malt liquor couldn't: THE DESTRUCTION OF ''BLACK PEOPLE''! Is that so hard?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:(''Rollo Goodlove holds a rally which Huey attends. Various men can be heard yelling during the speech'')
:'''Rollo''': Brothas and sistas! I said, brothas and sistas! I don't know what this world is coming to! (Yeah!) But if you ask me what I think about BET, I tell you with no shame: BET sucks! (SUCK DAT DICK!... SUCKS!) I say that because, when I sit and watch BET, my ''dignity'' is sucked away. And, uh, my ''pride'' is sucked away. (Everything is sucked away!) And the promise we made, for the freedom struggle over the last five decades, is sucked. Away. (IT SUUUCKS!) Now, brothas and sistas! We are here today, because we're not gon' let BET suck ''anymore'' from us! I say ''stand up'' and tell 'em, I will not be afraid none to yo' foolishness! I'm ''free''! (FREE!) And I will not be captured by yo' ignorance, because I'm ''free''! And I will NOT be trapped, in yo' Negro-fied matrix either! Because I am...''FREE''.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Huey''': Granddad, what do you do when you can't do nothing, but there's nothing you can do?
:'''Granddad''': You do what you can.

=== The Uncle Ruckus Reality Show [2.15] ===
:'''Male BET Employee''': I've got a question. 
:'''Weggie Rudlin''': Of course you do, you didn't go to Harvard.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Uncle Ruckus''' : I wake up about a quarter of five in the A.M. every morning. That's about 12 more hours before most niggas wake up. Heh, heh. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Uncle Ruckus''': Now one of the great pleasures of my day is taking these pretty little white children to school in the morning. Hey there, Mister Billy how ya doin? 
:'''Billy''': ''(rudely past Uncle Ruckus and boarding the school bus)'' Move outta my way, fat boy! 
:'''Uncle Ruckus''': I keep the bus nice and clean for them. These kids- oh excuse, 'scuse me. ''(sees blonde little girl walking towards the school bus).'' Oh hello Miss Madison. 
:'''Madison''': ''(rudely walking past Uncle Ruckus and boarding the school bus)'' Whatever.
:'''Uncle Ruckus''': There's my little sunshine. ''(spots Huey and Riley)'' Whoa, whoa hold it there! ''(waving hand-held metal detector around them)'' Where's the gun huh? 
:'''Riley''': ''(indignant)'' Ay, man! 
:'''Uncle Ruckus''': Where's the gun, huh? Go on, git, git! Get outta here! Go do your little hifey-fifey dances and nigga monkey shuffle somewhere else! This here bus is for kids with a future! 
:''(Huey and Riley angrily walk to school together)''
:'''Uncle Ruckus''': ''(drives the school bus up to Huey and Riley)'' That's right, that's right, get your lazy asses some exercise! Y'all should just grow up to be rappers, get into a beef and then shoot each other! Ah, ha, ha, ha! 
:''(drives past Huey and Riley)''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''(While cleaning a urinal in the men's room in J. Edgar Hoover Elementary School)''
:'''Uncle Ruckus''': People say there's no difference between the races. But I tell ya what that I've been cleaning bathrooms for a long time and I can say that white man (Beep) don't smell the same as black African (Beep). See, the white man just got a better liver,white man eats his meat raw. See that's healthier, he calls it tartar. ''(A white male gets out of a bathroom stall with his pants halfway down)'' Now how you doin' on this fine day sir? ''(White male becomes uneasy,stammers and his pants fall down, exposing his boxer shorts)'' May I say your dookie smells like sparkling ice water with a twist of lime. (White male exits men's room with his pants still halfway down). See? That's why he don't have to wash his hands neither! Yes sir, white man has ''impeccable'' hygiene. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''(To Ruckus after finding out he is part-Scottish according to a DNA test)''
:'''Tom''': I mean, why should Alex Haley be the only person to discover their ''roots'', ya know? ''(laughs)''
:'''Uncle Ruckus''': Uh, I'm sorry. Alex what? 
:'''Tom''': Ya know, Alex Haley. ''[[Wikipedia:Roots (TV miniseries)|Roots]]''.
:'''Uncle Ruckus''': ''Roots''? What is that some kinda gardening show? 
:'''Tom''': You're joking, right? ''Roots'', ya know ''Roots''.
:'''Uncle Ruckus''': Eh, I don't follow ya. 
:'''Tom''': Roots, Roots, ''Roots''! You never heard of Roots, the mini-series? ''(to Jazmine)'' Come here honey. ''(picks up Jazmine)'' Hold on. Aaaaaah. (holds up Jazmine to the sky) Roots!  
:'''Uncle Ruckus''': I dunno nothin' bout' whatchu talkin' about. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mistress Leevil''' (to male BET employee):Uh, what network do you work for? 
:'''Male BET Employee''': B.E.T.
:'''Mistress Leevil''': And what does that stand for? 
:'''Male BET Employee''': Black Entertainment-(interrupted mid-sentence)
:'''Mistress Leevil''' : NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Black ''Evil'' Television. It's not enough that the shows are bad, they have to be ''evil'' as well. Send in my evil HENCHMEN! (camera cuts to a tall, large black man bald man dressed in black with a black female dressed in black with an afro and large gold hoop earrings) These are my evil henchmen, Big Nigga and Crazy Bitch. Big Nigga, Crazy Bitch, teach this person the meaning of black and evil. ''(Male BET employee and Weggie Rudlin collectively gasp in fear)''
:'''Crazy Bitch''': Oh no dis nigga didn't! 
:'''Male BET Employee''': No! Mistress Leevil, PLEASE! ''(Big Nigga marches up to him and grabs him by his afro)'' We're making more evil, I promise!! ''(Big nigga puts him in a chokehold)''
:'''Crazy Bitch''': Oh HELL no, this mothafucker gonna pay! ''(takes off her earrings)''
:'''Male BET Employee''': Weggie, PLEASE SAVE ME!! AAAAAAAAAAGH!!! 
:'''Crazy Bitch''': YAAAAAAAA!!! ''(runs up to Male BET Employee and proceeds to slash him while Weggie looks in horror and then looks away as if he was unaffected amidst Mistress Leevil's maniacal laughter and the blood splattered on her and on the walls of the boardroom)''
:'''Mistress Leevil''' (after the boardroom quiets down): Weggie Rudlin! 
:'''Weggie Rudlin''' ''(nervously)'': Agh, aaaaagh! Huh? 
:'''Mistress Leevil''': This Uncle Ruckus show, how's it going? 
:'''Weggie Rudlin''' ''(nervously)'': Huh uhhhhhhh ''(voice changes in pitch)''.. Great! F-fantastic!
:'''Mistress Leevil''': Is it ''evil''? 
:'''Weggie Rudlin''': Oh, absolutely. 
:'''Mistress Leevil''': I hope so, ''Weggie'', for your sake. ''( calmly wipes off blood splatter from her face).'' 'Cause if it's not evil then, you ''know'' what's gonna happen. By happening I mean killed or at least very seriously injured sooo, so, you know, just make sure it's evil. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Uncle Ruckus''': I got somethin' for a fraternity for niggas. A fraternity of ''bananas'' up a tree! (barks like a dog, then laughs). Black fraternities should have a name, like boogedy boogedy! Hey, I got a black fraternity for ya, it's called prison! Jail Fi Jail, nigga! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''(after finding out his DNA results came up as him being 102% African with a 2% marginal error)''
:'''Uncle Ruckus''': ''(sighs)'' Well,I'm black now. So the first thing I did was quit all my jobs, I dunno how I'm supposed to pay all the bills. Probably have to start selling crack, or rappin' or rappin'  'bout selling crack. Ya know, I probably might not even have re-vitiligo. 
:''(Knocks on The Freeman's door and Huey answers it)''
:'''Uncle Ruckus''' ''(sighs dejectedly)'': Okay, I'm black. What am I supposed to do now? 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''(while playing checkers with Robert at the park)''
:'''Uncle Ruckus''': Oh, we probably gonna die any second now from one of these conditions and diseases niggas get. You name it, diabetes, gout, high blood pressure, asthma, sickle cell ''(Robert interrupts mid-sentence)...''
:'''Robert''': Oh, Ruckus stop. This is all in your damn head,you the exact same fool you were last week. You were black then,you're black now and you're gonna be black tomorrow.(Ruckus sighs dejectedly) Ain't nothin' wrong with being black and if you give it a chance you might actually like it, Hmmm? Mmm hm? 
:''(Cut to Robert and Uncle Ruckus at a Foot Locker)''
:'''Robert''': Ruckus, what are we doing here? 
:'''Uncle Ruckus''': Well, this is what niggas do,right? Buy sneakers, then maybe later we'll buy loud stereos and be-rate women in rap lyrics. ''(looks at a display hi-top sneaker with visible shock absorbers).'' Is this the shit you niggas wear nowadays? This look like a damn astronaut shoe! I'm black, I'm not walkin' to the moon! I'm walkin' to the liquor store! 
:'''Robert''': Ruckus, STOP! C'mon man. 
:'''Uncle Ruckus''': LeeBron James, Allen Iverson,can I get a shoe named after a white man, PLEASE?! ''(spots a young black male Foot Locker employee)'' 'Scuse me, darkie in the zebra shirt! Can I get a Bruce Jenner sneaker? 
:'''Robert''': Man, to hell with this bullshit, you on your own! ''(walks out of the Foot Locker, leaving Ruckus behind).''
:'''Uncle Ruckus''': I'm not leavin' here 'till I get me a shoe named after a white man! John Stockton, Pistol Pete Maravich, ANYBODY! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''(cut to the Barbershop)''
:'''Barber''' ''(while cutting a male client's hair)'': Now I'm ain't sayin' I like the Democrats, but I don't and they sho' as hell don't know what the (Beep) they doin'. Now the ''Republicans'', now they done (Beeped) the country up to hell! 
:'''Off-screen patron''': Sho' did! 
:'''Barber''': Nigga, look at Iraq! President over there, killin' black folks,wish they would send me to Iraq. I'd like to tell that motha(Beep)' Bush to ''kiss'' my black ass! 
:'''Uncle Ruckus''':'' (angrily gets up from his chair)'' Now, that's enough, that's enough! Time out negroes, time out! I can't sit here and let y'all bad mouth my president. Did any of y'all niggas hear the president when he said Iraq was central to the global war on terror? Or did y'all miss it because he wasn't speakin' in baboon? Rababab rabbaba ba! Instead of sittin' here and choppin' off the brillo off each other's heads,y'all ''should'' take your black asses TO Iraq AND HELP FIGHT FOR OUR FREEDOM!''(all the patrons and barbers are stunned and silent)''A li'l more off the sides please. ''(gets kicked out of the barber shop)'' Damn go-rilla terrorists.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''(in BET Torture Lab/Chamber)''
:'''White Scientist''' ''(laying strapped to gurney wearing only his boxer shorts)'': Just what is going on?!! WHY have you kidnapped me?!
:'''Wedgie Rudlin''': And now, doctor we will now discuss your methods of DNA testing. ''(laughs evilly)''
:'''White Scientist:''' No, PLEASE! NOOO!
:''(Wedgie presses button to turn on ray machine, but after machine starts up, the whole room goes into a power outage).''
:'''Wedgie Rudlin''':(Beep)! Why does this always happen when we try to use the GODDAMN TORTURE MACHINE?!!Can somebody PLEASE get the power back on so we use the torture machine?!! 
:'''Male BET Employee''' ''(off-screen)'' : I think somebody forgot to pay the bill, Weggie. 
:'''Wedgie Rudlin''': WILL SOMEONE PAY THE (Beeping) BILL?!!   

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:''(in the movie theater while ''Madea's Next Movie'' is playing)''
:'''Uncle Ruckus''': Will you niggas, PLEASE shut the hell up?!! I'm tryin' to watch this piece of (Beep) movie?!! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT: Boondocks (season 2), The}}
[[Category:The Boondocks (TV series) seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>jn1x5ed0v99oy0crfebp9ybk97n1paw</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Trolls (film)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>192042</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944134</id>
      <parentid>3943823</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T07:57:07Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-27573-00</username>
        <id>3316836</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <origin>3944134</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="35363" sha1="nx82b2ot2coqut1tdjsdsx91qqouglb" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
[[File:Trolls - Alternative Logo.svg|thumb|It’s inside you! It’s inside of all of us! And I don’t think it. I feel it!]]
'''''[[w:Trolls (film)|Trolls]]''''' is a 2016 American animated  [[w:Jukebox musical|jukebox musical]] [[w:Comedy film|comedy film]] based on the dolls of the same name created by [[w:Thomas Dam|Thomas Dam]]. The film revolves around two trolls on a quest to save their village from destruction by the Bergens, humanoids who devour trolls.

Produced as the 33rd animated feature by [[w:DreamWorks Animation|DreamWorks Animation]] and distributed by [[w:20th Century Fox|20th Century Fox]], the film debuted on October 8, 2016 at the BFI London Film Festival, and was released in the United States on November 4, 2016.

:''Directed by [[w:Mike Mitchell (director)|Mike Mitchell]] and [[w:Walt Dohrn|Walt Dohrn]]. Written by [[w:Jonathan Aibel and Glenn Berger|Jonathan Aibel, Glenn Berger]] and Erica Rivinoja.''

==Dialogue==
:'''Branch''': ''[sarcastically]'' Why don't you try scrapbooking them to freedom?
:'''Poppy''': ''[sarcastically too]'' Solid burn, Branch.

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[Poppy puts a picture of Creek and she expands the pictures of her friends, then expands the tall picture of Cooper]''
:'''Poppy''': So special. Good night, Cooper. Good night, Smidge. Good night, Fuzzbert. Good night, Satin. Good night, Chenille. Good night, Biggie. Good night, DJ. Good night, Guy Diamond... ''[chuckles]'' Good night, Creek. ''[Taps the picture]'' Boop.
:'''Branch''': ''[with envy]'' And good night, Poppy.

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[While the Bergens are looking for the trolls]''
:'''Prince Gristle''': Daddy, where are they?
:'''King Gristle Sr.''': ''[to Chef with angry] Don't just stand there! Make my son HAPPY!
:'''Chef Bergen''': He will be &lt;big&gt;'''HAPPY!'''&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Poppy''': Satin, Chenille, sharp right!
:'''Chenille''': Let is do it!
:'''Satin''': Whoop!
:'''Poppy''': Guy Diamond, glitter him!
:'''Guy Diamond''': ''[autotune] Eat glitter! HAHA!''

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[Poppy looks at the sky and her flower bracelet dings, meaning it's Hug Time. She looks at the bracelet, sits up, and looks at Branch, wanting to hug him]''
:'''Branch''': Don't even think about it.
:''[Poppy's flower bracelet shuts down, then mumbles and looks at the starry sky.]''
:'''Poppy''': ''[singing] Stars shining bright above you.''
:'''Branch''': ''[sits up]'' Really? Seriously? More singing?
:'''Poppy''': Yes, seriously! Singing helps me relax. Maybe you oughta try it.
:'''Branch''': I don't sing, and I don't relax. This is the way I am, and I like it. I also like a little silence!
:''[mandolin playing]''
:'''Poppy''': ''[singing]'' Hello darkness my old friend, I have come to talk with you again...''
:'''Spider''': Hello.
:'''Poppy''': ''[continues singing]'' Because a vision softly creeping... Left its seeds while I was sleeping... And the vision that was planted in my brain, still remains. Within the sound... of silence.
:'''Branch''': May I? ''[she gives him the mandolin, and he tosses it into the fireplace, then gets back into his sleeping bag]''

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[That night at Bergen Town]''
:'''King Gristle Sr.''': ''[off-screen]'' That's right! Take her away! ''[The Bergens take her away]'' Get her out of my sight! ''[on-screen]'' She is hereby banished from Bergen Town forever!
:'''Chef Bergen''': We can all be happy again. I'll find the Trolls! ''[The Bergens kick her out]'' And shove them down your ungrateful throats.

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[Poppy and Branch are still walking to make it at Bergen Town]''
:'''Poppy''': ''[scatting]''
:'''Branch''': Do you have to sing?
:'''Poppy''': I always sing when I'm in a good mood.
:'''Branch''': Do you have to be in a good mood?
:'''Poppy''': Why wouldn't I be? By this time tomorrow, I'll be with all my friends. Ohh! I wonder what they're all doing right now.
:'''Branch''': Probably being digested.

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Branch''': I don't do high fives.
:'''Cloud Guy''': Slap it, boss.
:'''Branch''': Not gonna happen.
:'''Cloud Guy''': Party on the top floor.
:'''Branch''': Nope.
:'''Cloud Guy''': Little slappy? Make Daddy happy?
:'''Branch''': That's weird.
:'''Cloud Guy''': Come on, just one little high five!
:'''Branch''': Oh, no thanks, I'm good.
:'''Cloud Guy''': Look, just do this but with YOUR hand. ''[slaps his hand]''
:'''Branch''': Thank you for the demonstration. Really cleared up exactly what I will NOT be doing.
:'''Poppy''': Branch! It's a high 5! The others lead to certain DEATH! Get perspective!
:''[pause]''
:'''Branch''': ''[growls under his breath]'' One high five and then you'll tell us which tunnel to take, right?
:'''Cloud Guy''': So easy...
:'''Branch''': ''[growls]'' Okay, fine! ''[tries to slap Cloud Guy's hand]
:'''Cloud Guy''': ''[pulls his hand away]'' Whoop! Too slow!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Poppy''': They're alive, Branch, I know it!
:'''Branch''': You don't know anything, Poppy. And I cannot wait to see the look on your face when you realize the world isn't all cupcakes and rainbows. Cause it isn't. Bad things happen, and there is nothing you can do about it.
:'''Poppy''': Hey, I know it is not all cupcakes and rainbows, but I did rather go through life thinking that it mostly is instead of being like YOU. You don't sing; you don't dance...so gray all the time! What happened to you--
:'''Branch''': ''[puts a finger to her mouth]'' Shh!
:'''Poppy''': ''[whispering]'' A Bergen?
:'''Branch''': ''[whispering]'' Maybe. ''[walks ahead a little]''
:'''Poppy''': ''[stays where she is, looking around carefully, then realizes--]'' There is no Bergen, is there? You just said that, so I'd stop talking!
:'''Branch''': ''[still whispering]'' Maybe.

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Cloud Guy''': I'm going to let you slide with a fist bump.
:''[as Branch goes to fist bump Cloud Guy starts doing all kinds of weird movements with his hand]''
:'''Cloud Guy''': [[w:Shark|Shark attack]]! Nom-nom-nom-nom. [[w:Jellyfish|Jellyfish]], hand [[w:Sandwich|sandwich]], [[w:Turkey (bird)|turkey]], [[w:Snowman|snowman]], [[w:Dolphin|dolphin]], [[w:Helicopter|helicopter]], [[w:Last Supper|last supper]], [[w:Monkey|monkey]] in a zoo.
:'''Branch''': What?
:'''Cloud Guy''': ''[covers Branch is fist with his hand]'' Gearshift. ''[starts to pretend to be a car and change gears with Branch’s fist; then starts laughing. Poppy laughs as well,  but Branch glares at her and she stops laughing]'' Okay, okay, okay. Now I'm thinking we hug. ''[in anger, Branch breaks a stick in half, Cloud Guy is body suddenly has thunder and lightning and starts to rain]''

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Guy Diamond''': Oh, boy.
:'''Cooper''': Here we go again.
:'''Biggie''': Oh, Branch.
:'''Satin''': You always ruin everything.
:'''Chenille''': Warning us about the Bergens.
:'''Branch''': No, I don't. ''[Flashback; during a birthday party when Branch had run in screaming]'' THE BERGENS ARE COMING!!! ''[pushes the birthday cake over and runs off]'' AAAHH!!! ''[During a wedding ceremony when he had run in screaming]'' THE BERGENS ARE COMING!!! ''[pushes the wedding cake over and runs off]'' AAAHH!!! ''[During a funeral when Branch had run in as well]'' THE BERGENS ARE COMING!!! ''[pushes the coffin over (instead of the funeral cake) and runs off]'' AAAHH!!! ''[Back at the present moment]''
:'''Poppy''': Come on, we haven't seen a Bergen in twenty years. They're not going to find us!
:'''Branch''': No, they're not going to find me, because I will be in my highly camouflaged... heavily fortified, Bergen-proof survival bunker.

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Branch''': ''[gets surprised after finding Creek alive in Prince Gristle's amulet]'' Creek?
:'''Poppy''': I knew he was alive.
:'''Biggie''': ''[to Mr. Dinkles]'' Mr. Dinkles, he is alive!
:'''Mr. Dinkles''': ''[first words]'' Oh, snap.
:''[The trolls gasp in shock]''
:'''Biggie''': You just talked? ''[Mr. Dinkles beeps]''
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Prince Gristle''': I love it! ''[Applause from Bibbly, Chad, and Todd]''
:'''Bridget''': I think you look fat.
:'''Prince Gristle''': What?! ''[They stare at Bridget]''
:'''Poppy''': &quot;P-H phat&quot;. Then strike that pose!
:'''Prince Gristle''': Hot lunch! Total Honesty from a total babe. ''[Holds Bridget's hand]'' And who might you be?
:'''Poppy''': Your name is, uh...um, uh...
:'''Biggie''': Lady!
:'''Guy Diamond''': Glitter?
:'''Smidge''': Sparkles!
:'''Branch''': Seriously?
:'''Bridget''': My name is Lady Glittersparkles. Seriously.
:'''Prince Gristle''': Well, my Lady Glittersparkles, would you care to join for an evening at Captain Starfunkle's Roller Rink and Arcade?
:'''Bridget''': Would I! ''[to Poppy]'' Would I?
:'''Poppy''': Yes! You did be delighted.
:'''Bridget''': Yes! You did be delighted.
:'''Prince Gristle''': Oh! Indeed, I would!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Satin, Chenille''': It is going to be the biggest...
:'''DJ Suki''': The loudest!
:'''Cooper''': The craziest party ever!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt; 
:'''Poppy''': Branch! Branch! Branch! Branch, are you in there? Huh?
:'''Branch''': I'm not going to your party.
:'''Poppy''': The party's over. We just got attacked by a Bergen!
:'''Branch''': I knew it!
:'''Poppy''': It took Cooper, and Smidge, and Fuzzbert, and Satin and Chenille and Biggie, and Guy Diamond... and Creek!
:'''Branch''': ''[rolls his eyes and shrugs]'' Eh.
:'''Poppy''': Which is why I have to ask you... will you go to Bergen Town with me and save everyone?
:'''Branch''': What? No
:'''Poppy''': Branch, you can't say no! They're your friends!
:'''Branch''': Ah-ah-ah, they're YOUR friends..              :'''Poppy''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, that's great. You're the one guy who knows more about Bergen's than anyone... but, when we finally need you, you just want to hide here forever?
:'''Branch''': Forever? ''[scoffs]'' No. ''[Branch pulls a lever that leads them down to an even bigger bunker]'' Yeah, I really only have enough supplies down here to last me ten years, eleven if I'm willing to store and drink my own sweat, which I am. You all said I was crazy, huh? Well, who's crazy now? Me, crazy prepared!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt; 
:'''Poppy''': So where do you think our friends are?
:'''Branch''': ''[they pass under a painting that shows the Bergen family preparing to consume dishes from Trolls: jelly, cupcakes, and tacos]'' If I had to guess, I'd say in a Bergen's stomach.
:'''Poppy''': Could you try to be positive? Just once. You might like it.
:'''Branch''': ''[sarcastically]'' Okay. I'm sure they're not only alive... But about to be delivered to us on a silver platter.
:'''Poppy''': Thank you. That wasn't so hard, was it? Branch!
''[Branch is suprised]''

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''King Peppy''': No troll left behind!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt; 
:'''Smidge''': ''[repeated line]'' Oh my gah!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
: ''[Fade to black. The four eyes open and it looks at the cocooned Poppy. It is revealed to be a four-eyed spider—monster. The other monsters climb down to Poppy and begin to eat her. Then, Branch's hair expands to grab Poppy away from the monsters. He glares at the monsters as the monster look at him. Branch takes a pan out of his camping bag. He throws the pan at the monsters, but it didn't work. He gasps nervously as the spider ran toward him. He takes off his camping bag and expands his hair to fight the spiders. After he fights the spiders with his hair, the monsters to enter a cave, after which turns out to be the mouth of a camouflaged creature. The cave-like monster devouring spiders and menacingly looks down at Branch. Branch gasps and monster falls back asleep. Branch sighs and looks at the cocooned Poppy]''
:'''Branch''': Oh, no. Poppy! Hang on! ''[Branch gets a stick from a tree and gets two bugs and rips the web out of Poppy. He rubs the bugs together and Poppy is heart starts to pulsate]'' 
:'''Poppy''': ♪''Get back up again!♪'' Branch, my man, you were ''right'' on time.
:'''Branch''': Oh, right, like you knew I was coming.
:'''Poppy''': Yes. I figured after the third Hug Time, getting eaten by a Bergen would not seem so bad.
:'''Branch''': And I figured there was no way you could do this by yourself. Guess we were both right.
:'''Poppy''': Hmm. All right! Let's do this! Sooner we get to Bergen Town, sooner we can rescue everybody...
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Bridget''': Wait! Why isn't this one singing?
:'''Cooper''': Come on, Branch. Sing with us!
:'''Trolls''': Yeah, Branch, sing with us!
:'''Branch''': No. That's okay.
:'''Bridget''': You don't think this will work?
:'''Branch''': No, no. It's not that. I just don't sing.
:'''Poppy''': Branch!
:'''Bridget''': No. He's right. This idea is stupid. King Gristle will never love me. ''[starts crying]''
:'''Cooper''': Come on. Hey, hey. What's all this?
:'''Biggie''': ''[tries to comfort Bridget]'' That's right, Bridget. Just let it all out. ''[Bridget cries loudly]'' Bridget, let it go. Just have a good cry. Go, girl! Okay, now bring it back in. Reel it in.
:''[Branch climbs to the window]''
:'''Poppy''': Branch, what are you doing? You have to sing!
:'''Branch''': I told you, I don't sing.
:'''Poppy''': You have to!
:'''Branch''': I'm sorry. I can't.
:'''Poppy''': No, you can. You just won't.
:'''Branch''': Fine. I just won't.
:'''Poppy''': You have to!
:'''Branch''': No!
:'''Poppy''': Yes!
:'''Branch''': No! 
:'''Poppy''': Why NOT!? Why won't you sing?!
:'''Branch''': ''[irritated]'' Because singing killed my grandma! Okay?!  
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Branch''': When are you gonna ask him about Creek?
:'''Poppy''': We have to warm him up first. Don't you know anything about romance?
:'''Branch''': '' [sarcastically]'' Of course! I am passionate about it.
:'''Poppy''': Really?
:'''Branch''': Don't you know anything about sarcasm?
:'''Cooper''': I think I had a sarcasm once.
:'''Prince Gristle''': And I'll take one of everything, Bibbly. Things are gonna get messy.
:'''Captain Starfunkle''': Enjoy your pizza. Here's your tokens.
:'''Bridget''': Ooh, so fancy. Good thing I brought my appetite.
:'''Prince Gristle''': You are fantastic!
:'''Poppy''': Bridget, compliment back!
:'''Bridget''': I like your back.
:'''Poppy''': No, I meant...say something nice about him.
:'''Bridget''': But I do like his back.
:'''Prince Gristle''': Huh?
:'''Bridget''': Um...
:'''Branch''': Poppy, Help her!
:'''Bridget''': Your eyes... They're... Ugh... Ooh! Your ears... Your eyes... ears... 
:'''Biggie''': Nose!
:'''Satin, Chenille''': Skin!
:'''Cooper''': Neck!
:'''Bridget''': Skin, neck, ears, nose, face, back of your head.
:'''Prince Gristle''': Are you okay?
:'''Guy Diamond''': ''[autotune]'' Your teeth.
:'''Bridget''': Teeth.
:'''Prince Gristle''': What is going on? Are you making fun of me?
:'''Bridget''': Your eyes!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Poppy''' ''[terrified]'': Branch, we have to save him!
:'''Branch''' ''[sarcastically]'': Save him from what? His stomach?
:'''Poppy''' ''[with a bit of hope]'': We didn't see him chew. We didn't see him swallow!
:'''Branch''' ''[pessimistically]'': Face it, Poppy. Sometimes people go into other people's mouths, and they DON'T come out. If we go after Creek now, we're going to get eaten. I'm sorry... But it's too late for him.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Poppy''': Okay, everybody. Let's go save Creek.
:'''Bridget''': No! No! You can't leave. Lady Glittersparkles is gonna be the king's plus one at dinner.
:'''Branch''': The dinner where they're serving Troll? Yeah, I think we're gonna have to skip that one.
:'''Bridget''': No! No, you have to help me be Lady Glittersparkles. I need you.
:'''Poppy''': You don't wanna pretend to be someone you're not forever!
:'''Bridget''': Then how about just for tomorrow?
:'''Poppy''': Bridget, you don't need us anymore. You and the king can make each other happy!
:'''Bridget''': That's impossible! Only eating a Troll can make you happy. Everyone knows that! I wish I'd never gone on this STUPID DATE! ''[sobbing]''
:'''Poppy''': Bridget.
:'''Bridget''': Just go... GET OUT OFF MY ROOM! Leave me alone!
:'''Poppy''': Please, listen.
:''[The trolls leave Bridget's room as Bridget breaks down]''
:'''Chef Bergen''': ''[to Bridget; on microphone with angry]'' '''IDGET!'''
:'''Branch''': ''[to Poppy]'' We've gotta go.
:'''Chef Bergen''': ''[on microphone with angry]'' What's going on down there? Idget, scrub that dish! The king's bringing a plus one.
:'''Bridget''': ''[sobbing]'' Yes, Chef...!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[While rescuing her friends]''
:'''Poppy''': ''[singing]'' ''♪Looking up at a sunny sky, so shiny and blue and there's a butterfly! Well, isn't that a super fantastic sign?♪'' ''[As she stops, a frog-like monster eats the butterfly, a blob-like monster eats him, a group of tiny orange moth-like monsters fly by him, leaving only the bones behind, and a purple plant-like monster breathes fire on the bones of the monster, turning it into a pile of ash which he sucks up into his mouth. He turns to menacingly look at Poppy and growls. She stares back at him.]''
:'''Poppy''': ''[singing nervously as she edges sideways]'' ''♪It is going to be a fantastic day♪'' ''[runs off]''
:''[She runs off. The next shot, we see Poppy on the puffed geysers. She goes to a geyser which makes Poppy fly. The next shot, Poppy is swinging on vines which's turn out to be tangled snake-like monster, which bows his head at the sight of the princess. She sees a monster and runs off as the creature tries to eat her. She slides down and pops back up. After she is chased by a monster, she falls and sees a bird-like monster. The monster eats her and lays an egg on the nest. Poppy shakes the egg And gets out of the egg by her foot, arm, and her whole body. She is now covered in orange slime. Chicks come by and stretch her arms. She lets go of her arms and rides on a leaf. She sees the red and white thorns. The next shot, she is seen in the paint rain ith her hair wet, a dry deserted island with her hair dry, and a snowy land with her hair covered in snow. The next shot, she is in underwater and gets absorbed by a fish-like monster. She climbs inside the monster's stomach and is now in the windy storm. The next shot, she is standing on a levitating eyeball-like creatures. She jumps on of one and jumps one eyeball and the eyeballs pops into glitter. Poppy falls on the flytrap-like monster. The monster sees Poppy and closes its mouth to devour her]'' 
:'''Poppy''': ''♪What if it's more than I can take''♪ ''[She opens the monster's mouth]'' ''♪No! I can't think that way! 'Cause I know, that I'm really, really, really gonna be okay!♪'' ''[She goes up to something that looks like a hill. But it wasn't a hill, it was only a hill-like monster. The monster opens his eyes and mouth, placing the princess on his tongue, then drops it and closes his mouth]'' ''♪Hey! I'm not giving up today. There's nothing getting in my way!♪'' ''[She expand her hair apart on the walls and she flies up and lands on a bush, before she it landed in digestive acids]'' ''♪And if you knock knock me over...I will get back up again! Oh!♪'' ''[She picks a blue berry]''
: '''Poppy''': ''♪If something goes a little wrong...♪'' ''[She eats the berry and gets blue spots all over her body]'' ''♪Well, you can go ahead and bring it on. 'Cause if you knock knock me over...♪'' ''[Her cheeks starts to swell up including her arms. She swells her whole body into a ball]'' ''♪I will get back up again♪'' ''[She rolls off. The next shot, Poppy is rolling on hills]''
'''Chorus''': ''[singing]'' ♪Get up!♪

'''Poppy''': ''[singing]'' ''♪Oh...''(She falls into spider webs and gets cocooned) ''I'm okay!♪''

'''Chorus''': ''[singing]'' ''♪Get up!♪''

'''Poppy''': ''[singing]'' ''♪Woah oh oh oh oh oh!♪''

'''Chorus''': ''[singing]'' ''♪Get up!♪''

'''Poppy''': ''[singing]'' ''♪Oh, oh...♪'' ''[She falls on the ground]'' ''♪And if you knock knock me over...you knock knock me over...♪'' ''[She gets exhausted]'' ''♪I...will...get back up again....!♪'' ''[She loses consciousness. Zoom back to her as she closes her eyes and sticks her tongue out of her mouth]'' Bleh''.''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[After hearing Creek's story]''
:'''Poppy''': ''[shocked]'' No! Creek, please do not do this.
:'''Creek''': Believe me... I wish there was some other &quot;me not getting eaten&quot; way.
:'''Chef Bergen''': But there is not.
:'''Creek''': ''[falsely]'' And now I have to live with this for the rest of my life. At least you get to die with a clear conscience. So, in a way... ''[Poppy gets more shocked]'' you could say... I am doing this for you. ''[he steals Poppy's cowbell away and touches her noise]'' Boop!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[When the trolls were trapped in the pot-like trap by the Chef and her peoples]''
:'''King Peppy''': ''[gasps]'' Poppy? ''[Poppy is turned away in depression, as King Peppy comes to hug her]'' Poppy, oh, thank goodness you are alright.
:'''Poppy''': ''[after hugged]'' I am doing great. ''[sarcastically]'' I've got everyone I love thrown in a pot, thanks for asking.
:''[Branch then watches and is a bit surprised]''
:'''Biggie''': Poppy, are you being sarcastic?
:'''Poppy''': ''[furiously]'' '''YES!'''
:''[Everyone gasps]''
:'''Smidge''': ''[shocked]'' Oh my gah.
:'''Poppy''': ''[remorseful, to the trolls]'' I'm sorry. I didn't know why I did think I could save you. ''[to her father King Peppy]'' All I wanted was to do is keep everyone safe like you did, Dad. ''[trying not to cry but felt saddened]'' But I couldn't...
:'''King Peppy''': ''[feeling sorry]'' Poppy...
:'''Poppy''': ''[as she sadly turns away and walks slowly to the middle of the pot-like trap]'' I let everybody down. ''[she then falls on her knees]''
:'''Branch''': ''[sighs; also feeling sorry]'' But, Poppy...
:'''Poppy''': ''[hopelessly]'' You were right, Branch. The world isn’t all cupcakes and rainbows. ''[moments later, her color begins to fade as the other Trolls watch, feeling saddened]''
:'''Biggie''': ''[sadly]'' Poppy…
:''[As Poppy's color has faded away, Guy Diamond, Cooper, Smidge, DJ Suki, Satin, Chenille, Biggie, Mr. Dinkles, Fuzzbert, King Peppy, and the rest of the other trolls also lose their colors as they lose hope. Branch watches this]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Poppy''': Thank you.
:'''Branch''': ''[warmly]''  No. Thank you.
:'''Poppy''': For what?
:'''Branch''': For showing me how to be, happy.
:'''Poppy''': Really? You're finally happy?... Now?
:'''Branch''': I think so. Happiness is inside of all of us, right? Sometimes you just need someone to help you find it.
:'''One of Troll children''': What's gonna happen now, Princess Poppy?
:'''Poppy''': I don't know. But I know we're not giving up.
 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Poppy''': Happiness is not something you put inside, it's ''already there!'' Sometimes you just... need someone to help you find it.
:'''A Bergen''': Can I really be happy?
:'''Poppy''': Of course!
:''[Multiple Bergens start getting Poppy's message]''
:'''A Bergen''': Do you think ''I'' can be happy!
:'''Poppy''': Yes! It's inside you, it's inside of ''all'' of us! And I do not think it... I ''feel'' it
''[She starts singing I Can't Stop the Feeling]''                   ''♪I got this feeling inside my bones                        It goes electric wavy when I turn it on♪''

'''Branch''': ''♪And if you want it inside your soul♪''

'''Branch and Poppy''''':''                                          ''♪Just open up your heart let music take control.                                                                      I got that sunshine in my pocket                           I got that good soul in my feet                                 I feel that hot blood in my body when it drops♪''

'''The Snack Pack''': Ooh

'''Branch and Poppy''' ''[They look at each other in love]'': ''♪I can't take my eyes up off it.                                                                     Moving so phenomenally The room on lock the way you rock it                                                       So don't stop♪''

All:                                                                       ''♪And under the lights when everything goes. Nowhere to hide when I'm getting you close♪''

'''Cooper''': ''♪Can't stop, won't stop♪''

: ''[The Bergen begin to move to the beat of the music, much to the Chef's dismay. Satin and Shenille create a heart sign with their hair, and other Trolls join in to create more, and more]''

All: ''♪When we move well you already know♪''

'''Cooper''': ''♪Let's move, let's move♪''

All:                                                                         ''♪So, just imagine                                                Just imagine                                                        Just imagine♪''

:''[Trolls jump off chandeliers, and two glitter Trolls hug each other, creating a glow. The Chef watches this angrily, but when Chad and Todd stop her with their weapons, much to her anger]''

'''Branch and Poppy''':                                     ''♪Nothing I can see but you when you dance, dance, dance                                                 Feeling good good creeping up on you so just dance, dance, dance, come on                           All those things I shouldn't do you but you dance, dance, dance                                         And ain't nobody leaving soon so keep dancing♪''

:''[One of the Bergens begins to move to the rhythm of the song, to everyone's surprise. And the mother holding the child, joins in, then the Trolls move to the organ so that they start dancing]''

'''Branch''':                                                                     ''♪I can't stop the feeling                                       So, just dance, dance, dance                                 I can't stop the feeling                                          So, just dance, dance, dance, come on                               Ooh, it's something magical                                 It's in the air, it's in my blood, rushing on♪''

'''Branch and Poppy''':                                        ''♪Don't need no reason, don't need control.                                               I fly so high, no ceiling, when I'm in my zone                                    'Cause I got that sunshine in my pocket                                      Got that good soul in my feet                                I feel that hot blood in my body when it drops♪''

'''The Snack Pack''': Ooh

'''Branch and Poppy''':                                     ''♪Nothing I can see but you when you dance, dance, dance                                                 Feeling good good creeping up on you so just dance, dance, dance, come on                                                  All those things I shouldn't do you but you dance, dance, dance                                       
And ain't nobody leaving soon so keep dancing                                                                    
I can't stop the feeling                                      
So, just dance, dance, dance                                      
I can't stop the feeling                                                  
So just dance, dance, dance, come on                                I can't stop the feeling                                       So, just dance, dance, dance I can't stop the feeling                                                                     So keep dancing♪''

: ''[Soon, the entire filler room dances, and the joyful ogre-like humanoids enthusiastically throw their bibs into the air. Enraged, Chef pushes the guards away, and approaches Poppy and Branch, pulling out huge knives with a scream, ready to kill them, much to their horror. Bridget sees this, and at the last moment they throw a spoon at her former boss. When Chef is confused about this, DJ Suki and Smidge spray her eyes with lemon juice]''

'''Chef Bergen''': ''[Covering her eyes, and not looking where she was going; last words]'' 
My eyes!

'''Satin and Chanille''': ''[run under Chef's leg, stretching her hair so that she stumble]'' Let's do it! 

:''[When this happens, the Chef ends up in the trap in which she previously locked the trolls setting it in motion, which does not impress any of the Bergens. After a while, Cooper lights a match and throws it straight onto the trap, causing the her explode to the Chef's shock. A pot with a bergen lands on the stairs, rolling down them. Snack Pack run to the trap of the stairs to watch it. Chef screams in pain and horror, and the camera zooms in on her pouch in which Creek turns out to have spent the rest of the day unwisely after the betrayal. Realizing his fatal mistake, he can now only hold on and join in screaming. The pot breaks down the BergenTown gate]''

'''Branch''':''♪
Oh...
I can't stop the...                          
I can't stop the...                                                                        
I can't stop the...                                                   
I can't stop the...                                                       
I can't stop the feeling♪''

All:                                                                ''♪Nothing I can see but you when you dance, dance, dance
I can't stop the feeling                              
Feeling good good creeping up on you so just dance, dance, dance, come on.                                                    
I can't stop the feeling                                      
All those things I shouldn't do you but you dance, dance, dance                                                     
And ain't nobody leaving soon so keep dancing                                                    Everybody sing♪''

''♪Got this feeling in my body
''I can't stop the feeling
Got this feeling in my body
I can't stop the feeling                                                    
Wanna see you move your body                                                                        
I can't stop the feeling                                     
Got this feeling in my body                       
Break it down                                                   
Got this feeling in my body                                  
I can't stop the feeling                                    
Got this feeling in my body, come on♪''                    

:'''King Peppy''': ''[puts the tiara on head of daughter and raises her hand]'' Our new queen!

:'''Trolls''': Go, Queen Poppy! Way to go, Poppy!

:'''One Children of Trolls''': You did it! Alright, Queen Poppy!

:'''Biggie''': She's my friend! I know her! 

:''[Poppy and Branch tenderly hold hands, then Smidge uses her hair to raise the platform they are standing on to an extremely high level]''

''♪So just dance, dance, dance I can't stop the feeling So just dance, dance, dance I can't stop the feeling So keep dancing, come on♪''

:'''Branch''': ''[fondly]'' I know it's not officially hug time yet, but...

:'''Poppy''': ''[proudly]'' Now that I am queen, I decree that hug time... ..is all the time.

:''[Hug each other warmly. When suddenly, to their surprise, someone hugs them, they turn around and it turns out to be Cloud Guy]''

:'''Cloud Guy''': Up high!

:''[Irritated, they look at each other and high-five him, pushing him off the platform. Cloud Guy laughs and falls, then the two heroes go back to dancing, and the image changes to a 2D scrapbooking image. The screen then pans out beyond the book from starts of movie, which closes on its own]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[last lines, in a mid-credit scene, looking deads Creek and Chef is seen laying on the trap as it comes to a stop with the creak of wheels on something that looks like a hill. But the former minister of Trolls is still alive (although he has wounds and burns on face), and initially shows relief]''
:'''Creek''': Phew. ''[Chef raises his head, growling furiously after a failed attempt to take the throne. She then focuses her gaze on Creek, who jerks his head in terror, trying to resist, but to no avail, because Chef smiles maliciously and catches him. Then, lifting it towards her mouth, laughing evilly, then opening her mouth even wider, ready to devour him. Creek gets frightened shakes his head. And just as he's about to be bitten, he closes his eyes and grits his teeth; last words]'' But— Wait, wait, wait—
:''[Before she can do so, however, an earthquake strikes. Then the „hill” opens its eyes, revealing itself to be a giant monster (bigger than the one Poppy fell victim to), and opens its mouth, placing the two antagonists on its tongue much to their shock. Then, without hesitation, the monster sending the cauldron into its mouth, whereby after a short hover in the air, two characters falls in inside, what predator watches without reaction. The monster then closes its mouth again and falls asleep. Character's screams echo from its bottomless stomach — pit, but after a while they quickly fall silent. The screen goes black]''

==Cast==
* '''[[Anna Kendrick]]''' — Queen Primrose &quot;Poppy&quot; Help Springwater 
** '''Iris Dohrn''' (baby)
* '''[[Justin Timberlake]]''' — Branchifer &quot;Branch&quot; Dory 
** '''Liam Henry''' (kid)
* '''[[Zooey Deschanel]]''' — Bridget / Lady Glittersparkles
* '''[[w:Christopher Mintz-Plasse|Christopher Mintz-Plasse]]''' — Prince Gristle
* '''[[w:Christine Baranski|Christine Baranski]]''' — Chef Bergen
* '''[[Russell Brand]]''' — Creek
* '''[[w:James Corden|James Corden]]''' — Biggie
* '''[[w:Jeffrey Tambor|Jeffrey Tambor]]''' — King Peppy Help Springwater 
* '''[[w:Ron Funches|Ron Funches]]''' — Cooper
* '''[[w:Icona Pop|Aino Jawo]]''' — Satin
* '''[[w:Icona Pop|Caroline Hjelt]]''' — Chenille
* '''[[w:Kunal Nayyar|Kunal Nayyar]]''' — Guy Diamond
* '''[[w:Quvenzhané Wallis|Quvenzhané Wallis]]''' — Harper
* '''[[John Cleese]]''' — King Gristle Sr.
* '''[[w:Gwen Stefani|Gwen Stefani]]''' — DJ Suki
* '''[[w:Mike Mitchell (director)|Mike Mitchell]]''' — Darius, Vinny the Phone, Captain Starfunkle, Spider, Wedgie Bergen #1, Chad &amp; Card
* '''[[w:Walt Dohrn|Walt Dohrn]]''' — Smidge, Fuzzbert, Cloud Guy, Mr. Dinkles, Tunnel Troll, Wedgie Bergen #2
* '''GloZell''' (US) / '''Dami Im''' (Australia) / '''Susanna Reid''' (UK) — Rosiepuff Dory 
* '''Meg DeAngelis''' (US) / '''Connie Glynn''' (UK) — Moxie Dewdrop
* '''Ricky Dillon''' (US) / '''Greg James''' (UK) — Aspen Heitz
* '''Kandee Johnson''' (US) / '''Abbey Clancy''' (UK) — Mandy Sparkledust
* '''Grace Helbig''' (US) / '''Carrie Hope Fletcher''' (UK) — Cookie Sugarloaf

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Commons category|Trolls (film)}}

{{Trolls}}
{{Authority control}}

[[Category:2016 computer-animated films]]
[[Category:2016 American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American animated romance films]]
[[Category:American 3D animated films]]
[[Category:Animated buddy films]]
[[Category:Romantic comedy films]]
[[Category:Films about trolls]]
[[Category:Films directed by Mike Mitchell]]
[[Category:Animated films about revenge]]
[[Category:DreamWorks Animation]]</text>
      <sha1>nx82b2ot2coqut1tdjsdsx91qqouglb</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944135</id>
      <parentid>3944134</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T07:58:55Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-27573-00</username>
        <id>3316836</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <origin>3944135</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="35360" sha1="44twlvikx1f5c0j25vhli5st0j1xp3s" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
[[File:Trolls - Alternative Logo.svg|thumb|It’s inside you! It’s inside of all of us! And I don’t think it. I feel it!]]
'''''[[w:Trolls (film)|Trolls]]''''' is a 2016 American animated  [[w:Jukebox musical|jukebox musical]] [[w:Comedy film|comedy film]] based on the dolls of the same name created by [[w:Thomas Dam|Thomas Dam]]. The film revolves around two trolls on a quest to save their village from destruction by the Bergens, humanoids who devour trolls.

Produced as the 33rd animated feature by [[w:DreamWorks Animation|DreamWorks Animation]] and distributed by [[w:20th Century Fox|20th Century Fox]], the film debuted on October 8, 2016 at the BFI London Film Festival, and was released in the United States on November 4, 2016.

:''Directed by [[w:Mike Mitchell (director)|Mike Mitchell]] and [[w:Walt Dohrn|Walt Dohrn]]. Written by [[w:Jonathan Aibel and Glenn Berger|Jonathan Aibel, Glenn Berger]] and Erica Rivinoja.''

==Dialogue==
:'''Branch''': ''[sarcastically]'' Why don't you try scrapbooking them to freedom?
:'''Poppy''': ''[sarcastically too]'' Solid burn, Branch.

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[Poppy puts a picture of Creek and she expands the pictures of her friends, then expands the tall picture of Cooper]''
:'''Poppy''': So special. Good night, Cooper. Good night, Smidge. Good night, Fuzzbert. Good night, Satin. Good night, Chenille. Good night, Biggie. Good night, DJ. Good night, Guy Diamond... ''[chuckles]'' Good night, Creek. ''[Taps the picture]'' Boop.
:'''Branch''': ''[with envy]'' And good night, Poppy.

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[While the Bergens are looking for the trolls]''
:'''Prince Gristle''': Daddy, where are they?
:'''King Gristle Sr.''': ''[to Chef with angry] Don't just stand there! Make my son HAPPY!
:'''Chef Bergen''': He will be &lt;big&gt;'''HAPPY!'''&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Poppy''': Satin, Chenille, sharp right!
:'''Chenille''': Let is do it!
:'''Satin''': Whoop!
:'''Poppy''': Guy Diamond, glitter him!
:'''Guy Diamond''': ''[autotune] Eat glitter! HAHA!''

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[Poppy looks at the sky and her flower bracelet dings, meaning it's Hug Time. She looks at the bracelet, sits up, and looks at Branch, wanting to hug him]''
:'''Branch''': Don't even think about it.
:''[Poppy's flower bracelet shuts down, then mumbles and looks at the starry sky.]''
:'''Poppy''': ''[singing] Stars shining bright above you.''
:'''Branch''': ''[sits up]'' Really? Seriously? More singing?
:'''Poppy''': Yes, seriously! Singing helps me relax. Maybe you oughta try it.
:'''Branch''': I don't sing, and I don't relax. This is the way I am, and I like it. I also like a little silence!
:''[mandolin playing]''
:'''Poppy''': ''[singing]'' Hello darkness my old friend, I have come to talk with you again...''
:'''Spider''': Hello.
:'''Poppy''': ''[continues singing]'' Because a vision softly creeping... Left its seeds while I was sleeping... And the vision that was planted in my brain, still remains. Within the sound... of silence.
:'''Branch''': May I? ''[she gives him the mandolin, and he tosses it into the fireplace, then gets back into his sleeping bag]''

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[That night at Bergen Town]''
:'''King Gristle Sr.''': ''[off-screen]'' That's right! Take her away! ''[The Bergens take her away]'' Get her out of my sight! ''[on-screen]'' She is hereby banished from Bergen Town forever!
:'''Chef Bergen''': We can all be happy again. I'll find the Trolls! ''[The Bergens kick her out]'' And shove them down your ungrateful throats.

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:''[Poppy and Branch are still walking to make it at Bergen Town]''
:'''Poppy''': ''[scatting]''
:'''Branch''': Do you have to sing?
:'''Poppy''': I always sing when I'm in a good mood.
:'''Branch''': Do you have to be in a good mood?
:'''Poppy''': Why wouldn't I be? By this time tomorrow, I'll be with all my friends. Ohh! I wonder what they're all doing right now.
:'''Branch''': Probably being digested.

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Branch''': I don't do high fives.
:'''Cloud Guy''': Slap it, boss.
:'''Branch''': Not gonna happen.
:'''Cloud Guy''': Party on the top floor.
:'''Branch''': Nope.
:'''Cloud Guy''': Little slappy? Make Daddy happy?
:'''Branch''': That's weird.
:'''Cloud Guy''': Come on, just one little high five!
:'''Branch''': Oh, no thanks, I'm good.
:'''Cloud Guy''': Look, just do this but with YOUR hand. ''[slaps his hand]''
:'''Branch''': Thank you for the demonstration. Really cleared up exactly what I will NOT be doing.
:'''Poppy''': Branch! It's a high 5! The others lead to certain DEATH! Get perspective!
:''[pause]''
:'''Branch''': ''[growls under his breath]'' One high five and then you'll tell us which tunnel to take, right?
:'''Cloud Guy''': So easy...
:'''Branch''': ''[growls]'' Okay, fine! ''[tries to slap Cloud Guy's hand]
:'''Cloud Guy''': ''[pulls his hand away]'' Whoop! Too slow!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Poppy''': They're alive, Branch, I know it!
:'''Branch''': You don't know anything, Poppy. And I cannot wait to see the look on your face when you realize the world isn't all cupcakes and rainbows. Cause it isn't. Bad things happen, and there is nothing you can do about it.
:'''Poppy''': Hey, I know it is not all cupcakes and rainbows, but I did rather go through life thinking that it mostly is instead of being like YOU. You don't sing; you don't dance...so gray all the time! What happened to you--
:'''Branch''': ''[puts a finger to her mouth]'' Shh!
:'''Poppy''': ''[whispering]'' A Bergen?
:'''Branch''': ''[whispering]'' Maybe. ''[walks ahead a little]''
:'''Poppy''': ''[stays where she is, looking around carefully, then realizes--]'' There is no Bergen, is there? You just said that, so I'd stop talking!
:'''Branch''': ''[still whispering]'' Maybe.

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Cloud Guy''': I'm going to let you slide with a fist bump.
:''[as Branch goes to fist bump Cloud Guy starts doing all kinds of weird movements with his hand]''
:'''Cloud Guy''': [[w:Shark|Shark attack]]! Nom-nom-nom-nom. [[w:Jellyfish|Jellyfish]], hand [[w:Sandwich|sandwich]], [[w:Turkey (bird)|turkey]], [[w:Snowman|snowman]], [[w:Dolphin|dolphin]], [[w:Helicopter|helicopter]], [[w:Last Supper|last supper]], [[w:Monkey|monkey]] in a zoo.
:'''Branch''': What?
:'''Cloud Guy''': ''[covers Branch is fist with his hand]'' Gearshift. ''[starts to pretend to be a car and change gears with Branch’s fist; then starts laughing. Poppy laughs as well,  but Branch glares at her and she stops laughing]'' Okay, okay, okay. Now I'm thinking we hug. ''[in anger, Branch breaks a stick in half, Cloud Guy is body suddenly has thunder and lightning and starts to rain]''

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Guy Diamond''': Oh, boy.
:'''Cooper''': Here we go again.
:'''Biggie''': Oh, Branch.
:'''Satin''': You always ruin everything.
:'''Chenille''': Warning us about the Bergens.
:'''Branch''': No, I don't. ''[Flashback; during a birthday party when Branch had run in screaming]'' THE BERGENS ARE COMING!!! ''[pushes the birthday cake over and runs off]'' AAAHH!!! ''[During a wedding ceremony when he had run in screaming]'' THE BERGENS ARE COMING!!! ''[pushes the wedding cake over and runs off]'' AAAHH!!! ''[During a funeral when Branch had run in as well]'' THE BERGENS ARE COMING!!! ''[pushes the coffin over (instead of the funeral cake) and runs off]'' AAAHH!!! ''[Back at the present moment]''
:'''Poppy''': Come on, we haven't seen a Bergen in twenty years. They're not going to find us!
:'''Branch''': No, they're not going to find me, because I will be in my highly camouflaged... heavily fortified, Bergen-proof survival bunker.

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Branch''': ''[gets surprised after finding Creek alive in Prince Gristle's amulet]'' Creek?
:'''Poppy''': I knew he was alive.
:'''Biggie''': ''[to Mr. Dinkles]'' Mr. Dinkles, he is alive!
:'''Mr. Dinkles''': ''[first words]'' Oh, snap.
:''[The trolls gasp in shock]''
:'''Biggie''': You just talked? ''[Mr. Dinkles beeps]''
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Prince Gristle''': I love it! ''[Applause from Bibbly, Chad, and Todd]''
:'''Bridget''': I think you look fat.
:'''Prince Gristle''': What?! ''[They stare at Bridget]''
:'''Poppy''': &quot;P-H phat&quot;. Then strike that pose!
:'''Prince Gristle''': Hot lunch! Total Honesty from a total babe. ''[Holds Bridget's hand]'' And who might you be?
:'''Poppy''': Your name is, uh...um, uh...
:'''Biggie''': Lady!
:'''Guy Diamond''': Glitter?
:'''Smidge''': Sparkles!
:'''Branch''': Seriously?
:'''Bridget''': My name is Lady Glittersparkles. Seriously.
:'''Prince Gristle''': Well, my Lady Glittersparkles, would you care to join for an evening at Captain Starfunkle's Roller Rink and Arcade?
:'''Bridget''': Would I! ''[to Poppy]'' Would I?
:'''Poppy''': Yes! You did be delighted.
:'''Bridget''': Yes! You did be delighted.
:'''Prince Gristle''': Oh! Indeed, I would!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Satin, Chenille''': It is going to be the biggest...
:'''DJ Suki''': The loudest!
:'''Cooper''': The craziest party ever!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt; 
:'''Poppy''': Branch! Branch! Branch! Branch, are you in there? Huh?
:'''Branch''': I'm not going to your party.
:'''Poppy''': The party's over. We just got attacked by a Bergen!
:'''Branch''': I knew it!
:'''Poppy''': It took Cooper, and Smidge, and Fuzzbert, and Satin and Chenille and Biggie, and Guy Diamond... and Creek!
:'''Branch''': ''[rolls his eyes and shrugs]'' Eh.
:'''Poppy''': Which is why I have to ask you... will you go to Bergen Town with me and save everyone?
:'''Branch''': What? No
:'''Poppy''': Branch, you can't say no! They're your friends!
:'''Branch''': Ah-ah-ah, they're YOUR friends..              :'''Poppy''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, that's great. You're the one guy who knows more about Bergen's than anyone... but, when we finally need you, you just want to hide here forever?
:'''Branch''': Forever? ''[scoffs]'' No. ''[Branch pulls a lever that leads them down to an even bigger bunker]'' Yeah, I really only have enough supplies down here to last me ten years, eleven if I'm willing to store and drink my own sweat, which I am. You all said I was crazy, huh? Well, who's crazy now? Me, crazy prepared!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt; 
:'''Poppy''': So where do you think our friends are?
:'''Branch''': ''[they pass under a painting that shows the Bergen family preparing to consume dishes from Trolls: jelly, cupcakes, and tacos]'' If I had to guess, I'd say in a Bergen's stomach.
:'''Poppy''': Could you try to be positive? Just once. You might like it.
:'''Branch''': ''[sarcastically]'' Okay. I'm sure they're not only alive... But about to be delivered to us on a silver platter.
:'''Poppy''': Thank you. That wasn't so hard, was it? Branch!
''[Branch is suprised]''

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''King Peppy''': No troll left behind!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt; 
:'''Smidge''': ''[repeated line]'' Oh my gah!

&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
: ''[Fade to black. The four eyes open and it looks at the cocooned Poppy. It is revealed to be a four-eyed spider—monster. The other monsters climb down to Poppy and begin to eat her. Then, Branch's hair expands to grab Poppy away from the monsters. He glares at the monsters as the monster look at him. Branch takes a pan out of his camping bag. He throws the pan at the monsters, but it didn't work. He gasps nervously as the spider ran toward him. He takes off his camping bag and expands his hair to fight the spiders. After he fights the spiders with his hair, the monsters to enter a cave, after which turns out to be the mouth of a camouflaged creature. The cave-like monster devouring spiders and menacingly looks down at Branch. Branch gasps and monster falls back asleep. Branch sighs and looks at the cocooned Poppy]''
:'''Branch''': Oh, no. Poppy! Hang on! ''[Branch gets a stick from a tree and gets two bugs and rips the web out of Poppy. He rubs the bugs together and Poppy is heart starts to pulsate]'' 
:'''Poppy''': ♪''Get back up again!♪'' Branch, my man, you were ''right'' on time.
:'''Branch''': Oh, right, like you knew I was coming.
:'''Poppy''': Yes. I figured after the third Hug Time, getting eaten by a Bergen would not seem so bad.
:'''Branch''': And I figured there was no way you could do this by yourself. Guess we were both right.
:'''Poppy''': Hmm. All right! Let's do this! Sooner we get to Bergen Town, sooner we can rescue everybody...
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Bridget''': Wait! Why isn't this one singing?
:'''Cooper''': Come on, Branch. Sing with us!
:'''Trolls''': Yeah, Branch, sing with us!
:'''Branch''': No. That's okay.
:'''Bridget''': You don't think this will work?
:'''Branch''': No, no. It's not that. I just don't sing.
:'''Poppy''': Branch!
:'''Bridget''': No. He's right. This idea is stupid. King Gristle will never love me. ''[starts crying]''
:'''Cooper''': Come on. Hey, hey. What's all this?
:'''Biggie''': ''[tries to comfort Bridget]'' That's right, Bridget. Just let it all out. ''[Bridget cries loudly]'' Bridget, let it go. Just have a good cry. Go, girl! Okay, now bring it back in. Reel it in.
:''[Branch climbs to the window]''
:'''Poppy''': Branch, what are you doing? You have to sing!
:'''Branch''': I told you, I don't sing.
:'''Poppy''': You have to!
:'''Branch''': I'm sorry. I can't.
:'''Poppy''': No, you can. You just won't.
:'''Branch''': Fine. I just won't.
:'''Poppy''': You have to!
:'''Branch''': No!
:'''Poppy''': Yes!
:'''Branch''': No! 
:'''Poppy''': Why NOT!? Why won't you sing?!
:'''Branch''': ''[irritated]'' Because singing killed my grandma! Okay?!  
&lt;hr width=60%&gt;
:'''Branch''': When are you gonna ask him about Creek?
:'''Poppy''': We have to warm him up first. Don't you know anything about romance?
:'''Branch''': '' [sarcastically]'' Of course! I am passionate about it.
:'''Poppy''': Really?
:'''Branch''': Don't you know anything about sarcasm?
:'''Cooper''': I think I had a sarcasm once.
:'''Prince Gristle''': And I'll take one of everything, Bibbly. Things are gonna get messy.
:'''Captain Starfunkle''': Enjoy your pizza. Here's your tokens.
:'''Bridget''': Ooh, so fancy. Good thing I brought my appetite.
:'''Prince Gristle''': You are fantastic!
:'''Poppy''': Bridget, compliment back!
:'''Bridget''': I like your back.
:'''Poppy''': No, I meant...say something nice about him.
:'''Bridget''': But I do like his back.
:'''Prince Gristle''': Huh?
:'''Bridget''': Um...
:'''Branch''': Poppy, Help her!
:'''Bridget''': Your eyes... They're... Ugh... Ooh! Your ears... Your eyes... ears... 
:'''Biggie''': Nose!
:'''Satin, Chenille''': Skin!
:'''Cooper''': Neck!
:'''Bridget''': Skin, neck, ears, nose, face, back of your head.
:'''Prince Gristle''': Are you okay?
:'''Guy Diamond''': ''[autotune]'' Your teeth.
:'''Bridget''': Teeth.
:'''Prince Gristle''': What is going on? Are you making fun of me?
:'''Bridget''': Your eyes!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Poppy''' ''[terrified]'': Branch, we have to save him!
:'''Branch''' ''[sarcastically]'': Save him from what? His stomach?
:'''Poppy''' ''[with a bit of hope]'': We didn't see him chew. We didn't see him swallow!
:'''Branch''' ''[pessimistically]'': Face it, Poppy. Sometimes people go into other people's mouths, and they DON'T come out. If we go after Creek now, we're going to get eaten. I'm sorry... But it's too late for him.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Poppy''': Okay, everybody. Let's go save Creek.
:'''Bridget''': No! No! You can't leave. Lady Glittersparkles is gonna be the king's plus one at dinner.
:'''Branch''': The dinner where they're serving Troll? Yeah, I think we're gonna have to skip that one.
:'''Bridget''': No! No, you have to help me be Lady Glittersparkles. I need you.
:'''Poppy''': You don't wanna pretend to be someone you're not forever!
:'''Bridget''': Then how about just for tomorrow?
:'''Poppy''': Bridget, you don't need us anymore. You and the king can make each other happy!
:'''Bridget''': That's impossible! Only eating a Troll can make you happy. Everyone knows that! I wish I'd never gone on this STUPID DATE! ''[sobbing]''
:'''Poppy''': Bridget.
:'''Bridget''': Just go... GET OUT OFF MY ROOM! Leave me alone!
:'''Poppy''': Please, listen.
:''[The trolls leave Bridget's room as Bridget breaks down]''
:'''Chef Bergen''': ''[to Bridget; on microphone with angry]'' '''IDGET!'''
:'''Branch''': ''[to Poppy]'' We've gotta go.
:'''Chef Bergen''': ''[on microphone with angry]'' What's going on down there? Idget, scrub that dish! The king's bringing a plus one.
:'''Bridget''': ''[sobbing]'' Yes, Chef...!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[While rescuing her friends]''
:'''Poppy''': ''[singing]'' ''♪Looking up at a sunny sky, so shiny and blue and there's a butterfly! Well, isn't that a super fantastic sign?♪'' ''[As she stops, a frog-like monster eats the butterfly, a blob-like monster eats him, a group of tiny orange moth-like monsters fly by him, leaving only the bones behind, and a purple plant-like monster breathes fire on the bones of the monster, turning it into a pile of ash which he sucks up into his mouth. He turns to menacingly look at Poppy and growls. She stares back at him.]''
:'''Poppy''': ''[singing nervously as she edges sideways]'' ''♪It is going to be a fantastic day♪'' ''[runs off]''
:''[She runs off. The next shot, we see Poppy on the puffed geysers. She goes to a geyser which makes Poppy fly. The next shot, Poppy is swinging on vines which's turn out to be tangled snake-like monster, which bows his head at the sight of the princess. She sees a monster and runs off as the creature tries to eat her. She slides down and pops back up. After she is chased by a monster, she falls and sees a bird-like monster. The monster eats her and lays an egg on the nest. Poppy shakes the egg And gets out of the egg by her foot, arm, and her whole body. She is now covered in orange slime. Chicks come by and stretch her arms. She lets go of her arms and rides on a leaf. She sees the red and white thorns. The next shot, she is seen in the paint rain ith her hair wet, a dry deserted island with her hair dry, and a snowy land with her hair covered in snow. The next shot, she is in underwater and gets absorbed by a fish-like monster. She climbs inside the monster's stomach and is now in the windy storm. The next shot, she is standing on a levitating eyeball-like creatures. She jumps on of one and jumps one eyeball and the eyeballs pops into glitter. Poppy falls on the flytrap-like monster. The monster sees Poppy and closes its mouth to devour her]'' 
:'''Poppy''': ''♪What if it's more than I can take''♪ ''[She opens the monster's mouth]'' ''♪No! I can't think that way! 'Cause I know, that I'm really, really, really gonna be okay!♪'' ''[She goes up to something that looks like a hill. But it wasn't a hill, it was only a hill-like monster. The monster opens his eyes and mouth, placing the princess on his tongue, then drops it and closes his mouth]'' ''♪Hey! I'm not giving up today. There's nothing getting in my way!♪'' ''[She expand her hair apart on the walls and she flies up and lands on a bush, before she it landed in digestive acids]'' ''♪And if you knock knock me over...I will get back up again! Oh!♪'' ''[She picks a blue berry]''
: '''Poppy''': ''♪If something goes a little wrong...♪'' ''[She eats the berry and gets blue spots all over her body]'' ''♪Well, you can go ahead and bring it on. 'Cause if you knock knock me over...♪'' ''[Her cheeks starts to swell up including her arms. She swells her whole body into a ball]'' ''♪I will get back up again♪'' ''[She rolls off. The next shot, Poppy is rolling on hills]''
'''Chorus''': ''[singing]'' ♪Get up!♪

'''Poppy''': ''[singing]'' ''♪Oh...''(She falls into spider webs and gets cocooned) ''I'm okay!♪''

'''Chorus''': ''[singing]'' ''♪Get up!♪''

'''Poppy''': ''[singing]'' ''♪Woah oh oh oh oh oh!♪''

'''Chorus''': ''[singing]'' ''♪Get up!♪''

'''Poppy''': ''[singing]'' ''♪Oh, oh...♪'' ''[She falls on the ground]'' ''♪And if you knock knock me over...you knock knock me over...♪'' ''[She gets exhausted]'' ''♪I...will...get back up again....!♪'' ''[She loses consciousness. Zoom back to her as she closes her eyes and sticks her tongue out of her mouth]'' Bleh''.''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[After hearing Creek's story]''
:'''Poppy''': ''[shocked]'' No! Creek, please do not do this.
:'''Creek''': Believe me... I wish there was some other &quot;me not getting eaten&quot; way.
:'''Chef Bergen''': But there is not.
:'''Creek''': ''[falsely]'' And now I have to live with this for the rest of my life. At least you get to die with a clear conscience. So, in a way... ''[Poppy gets more shocked]'' you could say... I am doing this for you. ''[he steals Poppy's cowbell away and touches her noise]'' Boop!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[When the trolls were trapped in the pot-like trap by the Chef and her peoples]''
:'''King Peppy''': ''[gasps]'' Poppy? ''[Poppy is turned away in depression, as King Peppy comes to hug her]'' Poppy, oh, thank goodness you are alright.
:'''Poppy''': ''[after hugged]'' I am doing great. ''[sarcastically]'' I've got everyone I love thrown in a pot, thanks for asking.
:''[Branch then watches and is a bit surprised]''
:'''Biggie''': Poppy, are you being sarcastic?
:'''Poppy''': ''[furiously]'' '''YES!'''
:''[Everyone gasps]''
:'''Smidge''': ''[shocked]'' Oh my gah.
:'''Poppy''': ''[remorseful, to the trolls]'' I'm sorry. I didn't know why I did think I could save you. ''[to her father King Peppy]'' All I wanted was to do is keep everyone safe like you did, Dad. ''[trying not to cry but felt saddened]'' But I couldn't...
:'''King Peppy''': ''[feeling sorry]'' Poppy...
:'''Poppy''': ''[as she sadly turns away and walks slowly to the middle of the pot-like trap]'' I let everybody down. ''[she then falls on her knees]''
:'''Branch''': ''[sighs; also feeling sorry]'' But, Poppy...
:'''Poppy''': ''[hopelessly]'' You were right, Branch. The world isn’t all cupcakes and rainbows. ''[moments later, her color begins to fade as the other Trolls watch, feeling saddened]''
:'''Biggie''': ''[sadly]'' Poppy…
:''[As Poppy's color has faded away, Guy Diamond, Cooper, Smidge, DJ Suki, Satin, Chenille, Biggie, Mr. Dinkles, Fuzzbert, King Peppy, and the rest of the other trolls also lose their colors as they lose hope. Branch watches this]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Poppy''': Thank you.
:'''Branch''': ''[warmly]''  No. Thank you.
:'''Poppy''': For what?
:'''Branch''': For showing me how to be, happy.
:'''Poppy''': Really? You're finally happy?... Now?
:'''Branch''': I think so. Happiness is inside of all of us, right? Sometimes you just need someone to help you find it.
:'''One of Troll children''': What's gonna happen now, Princess Poppy?
:'''Poppy''': I don't know. But I know we're not giving up.
 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Poppy''': Happiness is not something you put inside, it's ''already there!'' Sometimes you just... need someone to help you find it.
:'''A Bergen''': Can I really be happy?
:'''Poppy''': Of course!
:''[Multiple Bergens start getting Poppy's message]''
:'''A Bergen''': Do you think ''I'' can be happy!
:'''Poppy''': Yes! It's inside you, it's inside of ''all'' of us! And I do not think it... I ''feel'' it
''[She starts singing I Can't Stop the Feeling]''                   ''♪I got this feeling inside my bones                        It goes electric wavy when I turn it on♪''

'''Branch''': ''♪And if you want it inside your soul♪''

'''Branch and Poppy''''':''                                          ''♪Just open up your heart let music take control.                                                                      I got that sunshine in my pocket                           I got that good soul in my feet                                 I feel that hot blood in my body when it drops♪''

'''The Snack Pack''': Ooh

'''Branch and Poppy''' ''[They look at each other in love]'': ''♪I can't take my eyes up off it.                                                                     Moving so phenomenally The room on lock the way you rock it                                                       So don't stop♪''

All:                                                                       ''♪And under the lights when everything goes. Nowhere to hide when I'm getting you close♪''

'''Cooper''': ''♪Can't stop, won't stop♪''

: ''[The Bergen begin to move to the beat of the music, much to the Chef's dismay. Satin and Shenille create a heart sign with their hair, and other Trolls join in to create more, and more]''

All: ''♪When we move well you already know♪''

'''Cooper''': ''♪Let's move, let's move♪''

All:                                                                         ''♪So, just imagine                                                Just imagine                                                        Just imagine♪''

:''[Trolls jump off chandeliers, and two glitter Trolls hug each other, creating a glow. The Chef watches this angrily, but when Chad and Todd stop her with their weapons, much to her anger]''

'''Branch and Poppy''':                                     ''♪Nothing I can see but you when you dance, dance, dance                                                 Feeling good good creeping up on you so just dance, dance, dance, come on                           All those things I shouldn't do you but you dance, dance, dance                                         And ain't nobody leaving soon so keep dancing♪''

:''[One of the Bergens begins to move to the rhythm of the song, to everyone's surprise. And the mother holding the child, joins in, then the Trolls move to the organ so that they start dancing]''

'''Branch''':                                                                     ''♪I can't stop the feeling                                       So, just dance, dance, dance                                 I can't stop the feeling                                          So, just dance, dance, dance, come on                               Ooh, it's something magical                                 It's in the air, it's in my blood, rushing on♪''

'''Branch and Poppy''':                                        ''♪Don't need no reason, don't need control.                                               I fly so high, no ceiling, when I'm in my zone                                    'Cause I got that sunshine in my pocket                                      Got that good soul in my feet                                I feel that hot blood in my body when it drops♪''

'''The Snack Pack''': Ooh

'''Branch and Poppy''':                                     ''♪Nothing I can see but you when you dance, dance, dance                                                 Feeling good good creeping up on you so just dance, dance, dance, come on                                                  All those things I shouldn't do you but you dance, dance, dance                                       
And ain't nobody leaving soon so keep dancing                                                                    
I can't stop the feeling                                      
So, just dance, dance, dance                                      
I can't stop the feeling                                                  
So just dance, dance, dance, come on                                I can't stop the feeling                                       So, just dance, dance, dance I can't stop the feeling                                                                     So keep dancing♪''

: ''[Soon, the entire filler room dances, and the joyful ogre-like humanoids enthusiastically throw their bibs into the air. Enraged, Chef pushes the guards away, and approaches Poppy and Branch, pulling out huge knives with a scream, ready to kill them, much to their horror. Bridget sees this, and at the last moment they throw a spoon at her former boss. When Chef is confused about this, DJ Suki and Smidge spray her eyes with lemon juice]''

'''Chef Bergen''': ''[Covering her eyes, and not looking where she was going; last words]'' 
My eyes!

'''Satin and Chanille''': ''[run under Chef's leg, stretching her hair so that she stumble]'' Let's do it! 

:''[When this happens, the Chef ends up in the trap in which she previously locked the trolls setting it in motion, which does not impress any of the Bergens. After a while, Cooper lights a match and throws it straight onto the trap, causing the her explode to the Chef's shock. A pot with a bergen lands on the stairs, rolling down them. Snack Pack run to the trap of the stairs to watch it. Chef screams in pain and horror, and the camera zooms in on her pouch in which Creek turns out to have spent the rest of the day unwisely after the betrayal. Realizing his fatal mistake, he can now only hold on and join in screaming. The pot breaks down the BergenTown gate]''

'''Branch''':''♪
Oh...
I can't stop the...                          
I can't stop the...                                                                        
I can't stop the...                                                   
I can't stop the...                                                       
I can't stop the feeling♪''

All:                                                                ''♪Nothing I can see but you when you dance, dance, dance
I can't stop the feeling                              
Feeling good good creeping up on you so just dance, dance, dance, come on.                                                    
I can't stop the feeling                                      
All those things I shouldn't do you but you dance, dance, dance                                                     
And ain't nobody leaving soon so keep dancing                                                    Everybody sing♪''

''♪Got this feeling in my body
''I can't stop the feeling
Got this feeling in my body
I can't stop the feeling                                                    
Wanna see you move your body                                                                        
I can't stop the feeling                                     
Got this feeling in my body                       
Break it down                                                   
Got this feeling in my body                                  
I can't stop the feeling                                    
Got this feeling in my body, come on♪''                    

:'''King Peppy''': ''[puts the tiara on head of daughter and raises her hand]'' Our new queen!

:'''Trolls''': Go, Queen Poppy! Way to go, Poppy!

:'''One Children of Trolls''': You did it! Alright, Queen Poppy!

:'''Biggie''': She's my friend! I know her! 

:''[Poppy and Branch tenderly hold hands, then Smidge uses her hair to raise the platform they are standing on to an extremely high level]''

''♪So just dance, dance, dance I can't stop the feeling So just dance, dance, dance I can't stop the feeling So keep dancing, come on♪''

:'''Branch''': ''[fondly]'' I know it's not officially hug time yet, but...

:'''Poppy''': ''[proudly]'' Now that I am queen, I decree that hug time... ..is all the time.

:''[Hug each other warmly. When suddenly, to their surprise, someone hugs them, they turn around and it turns out to be Cloud Guy]''

:'''Cloud Guy''': Up high!

:''[Irritated, they look at each other and high-five him, pushing him off the platform. Cloud Guy laughs and falls, then the two heroes go back to dancing, and the image changes to a 2D scrapbooking image. The screen then pans out beyond the book from starts of movie, which closes on its own]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[last lines, in a mid-credit scene, looking deads Creek and Chef is seen laying on the trap as it comes to a stop with the creak of wheels on something that looks like a hill. But the former minister of Trolls is still alive (although he has wounds and burns on face), and initially shows relief]''
:'''Creek''': Phew. ''[Chef raises his head, growling furiously after a failed attempt to take the throne. She then focuses her gaze on Creek, who jerks his head in terror, trying to resist, but to no avail, because Chef smiles maliciously and catches him. Then, lifting it towards her mouth, laughing evilly, then opening her mouth even wider, ready to devour him. Creek gets frightened shakes his head. And just as he's about to be bitten, he closes his eyes and grits his teeth; last words]'' But— Wait, wait, wait—
:''[Before she can do so, however, an earthquake strikes. Then the „hill” opens its eyes, revealing itself to be a giant monster (bigger than the one Poppy fell victim to), and opens its mouth, placing the two antagonists on its tongue to their shocked. Then, without hesitation, the monster sending the cauldron into its mouth, whereby after a short hover in the air, two characters falls in inside, what predator watches without reaction. The monster then closes its mouth again and falls asleep. Character's screams echo from its bottomless stomach — pit, but after a while they quickly fall silent. The screen goes black]''

==Cast==
* '''[[Anna Kendrick]]''' — Queen Primrose &quot;Poppy&quot; Help Springwater 
** '''Iris Dohrn''' (baby)
* '''[[Justin Timberlake]]''' — Branchifer &quot;Branch&quot; Dory 
** '''Liam Henry''' (kid)
* '''[[Zooey Deschanel]]''' — Bridget / Lady Glittersparkles
* '''[[w:Christopher Mintz-Plasse|Christopher Mintz-Plasse]]''' — Prince Gristle
* '''[[w:Christine Baranski|Christine Baranski]]''' — Chef Bergen
* '''[[Russell Brand]]''' — Creek
* '''[[w:James Corden|James Corden]]''' — Biggie
* '''[[w:Jeffrey Tambor|Jeffrey Tambor]]''' — King Peppy Help Springwater 
* '''[[w:Ron Funches|Ron Funches]]''' — Cooper
* '''[[w:Icona Pop|Aino Jawo]]''' — Satin
* '''[[w:Icona Pop|Caroline Hjelt]]''' — Chenille
* '''[[w:Kunal Nayyar|Kunal Nayyar]]''' — Guy Diamond
* '''[[w:Quvenzhané Wallis|Quvenzhané Wallis]]''' — Harper
* '''[[John Cleese]]''' — King Gristle Sr.
* '''[[w:Gwen Stefani|Gwen Stefani]]''' — DJ Suki
* '''[[w:Mike Mitchell (director)|Mike Mitchell]]''' — Darius, Vinny the Phone, Captain Starfunkle, Spider, Wedgie Bergen #1, Chad &amp; Card
* '''[[w:Walt Dohrn|Walt Dohrn]]''' — Smidge, Fuzzbert, Cloud Guy, Mr. Dinkles, Tunnel Troll, Wedgie Bergen #2
* '''GloZell''' (US) / '''Dami Im''' (Australia) / '''Susanna Reid''' (UK) — Rosiepuff Dory 
* '''Meg DeAngelis''' (US) / '''Connie Glynn''' (UK) — Moxie Dewdrop
* '''Ricky Dillon''' (US) / '''Greg James''' (UK) — Aspen Heitz
* '''Kandee Johnson''' (US) / '''Abbey Clancy''' (UK) — Mandy Sparkledust
* '''Grace Helbig''' (US) / '''Carrie Hope Fletcher''' (UK) — Cookie Sugarloaf

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Commons category|Trolls (film)}}

{{Trolls}}
{{Authority control}}

[[Category:2016 computer-animated films]]
[[Category:2016 American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American animated romance films]]
[[Category:American 3D animated films]]
[[Category:Animated buddy films]]
[[Category:Romantic comedy films]]
[[Category:Films about trolls]]
[[Category:Films directed by Mike Mitchell]]
[[Category:Animated films about revenge]]
[[Category:DreamWorks Animation]]</text>
      <sha1>44twlvikx1f5c0j25vhli5st0j1xp3s</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Adventure Time (season 8)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>193531</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943888</id>
      <parentid>3353673</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:27:27Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30410-75</username>
        <id>3325553</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943888</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="23530" sha1="6ajhfwwdjt19irhs5cbjqgz5zw0tt64" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Adventure Time (season 1)|1]] [[Adventure Time (season 2)|2]] [[Adventure Time (season 3)|3]] [[Adventure Time (season 4)|4]] [[Adventure Time (season 5)|5]] [[Adventure Time (season 6)|6]] [[Adventure Time (season 7)|7]] [[Adventure Time (season 8)|8]] [[Adventure Time (season 9)|9]] [[Adventure Time (season 10)|10]] | [[Adventure Time: Distant Lands|Distant Lands]] | [[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake|Fionna and Cake]] | [[Adventure Time: Side Quests|Side Quests]] | [[Adventure Time|Main]]
----

{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Adventure Time|Adventure Time]]''''' (2010–2018) is an American animated television series on Cartoon Network. The series follows the adventures of a boy named Finn (voiced by Jeremy Shada) and his best friend and adoptive brother Jake (voiced by John DiMaggio)—a dog with the magical power to change shape and size at will.

== ''Don't Look'' [8.02] ==
:''[Jake comes inside the dead hermit's yurt]''
:'''Finn''': I know it's you. ''[see hermit-eyes Finn in his giant, deep-red monstrous form staring the opposite wall]''
:'''Jake''': Hey, buddy. I've figured you'd come back here.
:'''Finn''': Don't look at me, Jake. I might turn you into a microwave.
:'''Jake''': Baloney! ''[walks to him]'' You turned NEPTR into a microwave because he's a microwave, but that doesn't mean that's all he is to you. I know you think NEPTR's an interesting person, and I know that microwave is just one part of his personality! I mean... Maybe your eyes are just bad at describing things, you know? Like, how you feel about people, what they mean to you. That stuff's in your guts. Eyes can't grok that. Unless you have the eyes of like, a trained artist or something. But ''you'' don't. I'm telling you, man. You're not a bad dude like the skeleton bro, or you'd be turning everyone into rats and plops!
:''[Finn takes up a deep gasping sigh]''
:'''Jake''': Now, come on. Look at me. ''[he turns Finn around to him face to face]''
:'''Finn''': Jake, you're so wise. ''[Jake's college bro form then suddenly shrinks down to a much older form with a cane]''
:'''Jake''': What?! Deh— ''[groans]'' Well, at least you listened to me. And wise old Jakey got a plan!

== ''Bun Bun'' [8.06] ==
:''[Finn and Bun Bun approaching the Fire Kingdom]''
:'''Flame Guard''': Hey, Finn.
:'''Cinnamon Bun''': Make way for the Princess!
:'''Flame Princess''': Finn! What brings you here?
:'''Finn''': Special delivery for Cinnamon Bun.
:'''Flame Princess''': Who's this?
:'''Bun Bun''': I'm Bun Bun. Are you a chipmunk?
:'''Flame Princess''': No...
:'''Finn''': ''[whispering to Cinnamon Bun]'' Bubblegum made her from your spare parts. She's supposed to be your squire or whatever.
:'''Cinnamon Bun''': ''[amazed]'' My squire?

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Finn and Flame Princess hanging out]''
:'''Flame Princess''': Is something wrong with your coals?
:'''Finn''': Well, they're fine. It's just... ''[takes a breath]'' When we broke up, I said sorry but I didn't fully understand exactly what I did wrong. I get it now. I shouldn't have manipulated you. That was a really, really messed up thing to do and I'm truly sorry.
:'''Flame Princess''': ''[sees how much Finn has grown up]'' You've grown up a lot, man. ''[beat]'' I forgive you.
:'''Finn''': Awesome. ''[makes fun of eating his coals]''
:'''Flame Princess''': ''[chuckles]''

== ''The Music Hole'' [8.10] ==
:''[Finn, Jake and Lady Rainicorn come across a giant humming sentient pit]''
:'''Finn''': It's a face hole! This is where the song's coming from. ''[the pit blows them away]'' Oh, nice pipes.
:'''Hole''': ''[speaks]'' &quot;''Wait, can you hear me?''&quot;
:'''Finn''': I've been hearing you like, all day. You're a lovely singer.
:'''Hole''': ''[laughs]'' &quot;''Really? No one's ever said that. Shut up!''&quot;
:'''Finn''': It's true!
:'''Hole''': &quot;''Well, I've had a lot of practice. Thousand years, give or take.''&quot;
:'''Finn''': Say ''whaaaa''?!!
:'''Hole''': &quot;''Yeah. I've been here singing from the very beginning of Ooo. Since I can't move from this spot, singing is my only outlet. I can neither participate, enjoy nor prevent disaster. So I sing.''&quot;
:'''Jake''': Is this like one of those patterns that's supposed to have a 3D image in it, and everyone can see it except you?
:'''Finn''': Well, why can't they hear you?
:'''Hole''': &quot;''Only two kinds of people can hear my song—those who see the world with pure childlike wonder, and those with a deep sense of loss in their hearts. To everyone else, I'm just a period in a sentence in the book of Ooo.''&quot;
:'''Finn''': I don't know about child eyes, but I have been going through a rough patch. It sounds like you have, too.
:'''Hole''': &quot;''Yeah, I guess so.''&quot;

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Finn/Hole''': ''[singing]'' ''With the sorrow in our hearts we can play''
:''And I look up to you''
:''And we hear different sounds than the heart last due''
:''Wake for that night looking everywhere for you''
:''Why do I look up to you?''

== ''Two Swords'' [8.14] ==
:'''Jake''': ''[confronts Grass Finn for trashing the Fort]'' You scared Beemo, you mock up my mom's records, and you waste my brea— ''[Grass Finn turns away from Jake, he comes in front of him]'' You waste my breakfast sy— ''[Grass Finn turns away again]'' Breakfast syrup! Hey! Look at me when I'm mad! ''[Grass Finn keeps turning away from Jake]'' Look at my eyes! They're mad! And they have to look in your— '''HEY!! THEY HAVE TO LOOK IN ''YOUR'' EYES!!''' Take my anger into your ''face''! You're a fraud! You think you could fake Jake?! You can't fake Jake! Cake! Rake! ''[claps]'' Lake! Hamburger steak!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Grass Finn throws Finn on the sand from &quot;harming&quot; Susan; starts punching Finn in the face]'' 
:'''Finn''': Alright, alright, enough! Truce, truce! Ah... ''[both take a breather]''
:'''Grass Finn''': Sorry, dog, but I can't let you hurt Susan. ''[Finn growls angrily]''
:'''Finn''': I wasn't gonna hurt her! ''[looks up]'' I was protecting her from ''you''! 
:'''Grass Finn''': ..Me? But... I'm Finn Mertens, man. I'm a hundred percent hero. Everyone knows that. 
:'''Finn''': What?! ''I'm'' Finn Mertens!
:'''Grass Finn''': Tsk, tsk, tsk. Sorry, man. I mean, I'm flattered, but... come on.
:'''Finn''': No, ''you'' come on!!

== ''Do No Harm'' [8.15] ==
:''[in the Candy Kingdom hospital, Finn sees a comatose Susan hooked up on life support. He takes a deep breath and sighs]''
:'''Finn''': I'm sorry I couldn't stop you earlier. I lost control. And I realized when my arm went all nasty, that being out-of-control like that was so scary a-and painful. And that's how you must've felt after your brain jazz got fried by that eel, and you went bonkers on everyone. I wasn't strong enough to stop you. ''[crosses fingers with his metal ones]'' In a way, this is all my fault.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Finn''': ''[doing doctoring duties]'' Okay, where's the next patient?
:'''Doctor''': In here, Doctor. ''[Finn pulls the curtains to see Ice King lying down on a hospital table]''
:'''Ice King''': Hey, baby... what?! Where's Doctor Princess? I just wanted some TLC from a cute gal. ''[Finn takes out his pen and clipboard]''
:'''Finn''': So, uh... how's your, uh... general condition?
:'''Ice King''': My back is in agony like always, ''[Finn nods nonchalantly]'' my toes taste like candy corn, is that bad? And everything smells like liquorice, ''[Finn jumps up high and lands behind Ice King]'' expect for liquorice which smells like— ''[Finn grabs Ice King's shoulder and bottom; breaks his back in half]'' Ahh!! ''[he gets uneven, Finn comes over]''
:'''Finn''': How do you feel, Ice King?
:'''Ice King''': I... feel... great! Ohh, mama! ''[flies up doing a loop]'' I feel 500 years old again! ''[laughing happily]'' Hey, we should hit the town! Go dancing... ''[Finn looks himself in the mirror]''
:'''Finn''': ''[thinking]'' &quot;''Doctor Finn... this feels pretty right.''&quot;

== ''Wheels'' [8.16] ==

== ''High Strangeness'' [8.17] ==
:'''Mr. Pig''': ''[sees Tree Trunks in bed]'' Hey, where'd you go?
:'''Tree Trunks''': I-I think I was visited by aliens again. Uh, every few years, they stop by and show me my hybrid children.
:'''Mr. Pig''': ''[chuckles]'' What?
:'''Tree Trunks''': Don't be jealous of my alien consorts, Mr. Pig. I love you the most. 
:'''Mr. Pig''': Haha... all right, sweetie. Thank you. ''[they both kiss, goes to pull lamp cord]'' You're gonna come with me to Princess Bubblegum's firework show tomorrow?
:'''Tree Trunks''': No, she whizzed on our wedding. I'm sorry, but she's a fat fish in the sand.
:'''Mr. Pig''': I want to see free fireworks, though, and I want you to come with me.
:'''Tree Trunks''': Ah, all right. ''[spanks Mr. Pig squealing]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Bubblegum and Tree Trunks walk along in the evening grass after being abducted by aliens]''
:'''Bubblegum''': I'm really sorry, Tree Trunks. I never meant to hurt anybody with my space program. It was supposed to seed new Candy Kingdoms on uninhabited planets, in case Ooo goes straight-up dong-bongles. 'Cause... like, confidentially, there's a lot of ways that could happen. And when it does, maybe I won't look so crazy after all, you know? ''[Tree Trunks looks up at the alien spheres in the sky]''
:'''Tree Trunks''': I can help you find a space for your goo. ''[Bubblegum turns to Tree Trunks]''
:'''Bubblegum''': You would do that?
:'''Tree Trunks''': You and I will never be friends, but we can respect each other as mothers and as fellow believers in the infinite promise of the cosmos above.
:'''Bubblegum''': ..Sure.

== ''Horse and Ball'' [8.18] ==
:''[Finn looks back at an empty and emotionally traumatised James Baxter as he makes herbal tea]''
:'''Finn''': Oh my Glob... James Baxter is in my house! ''[Shelby pops out of teapot]''
:'''Shelby''': Hey, Finn, you... you look a little nervous.
:'''Finn''': That's James Baxter out there! He's an artist! What if I say something dumb and he's like, &quot;Man, that dude is so dumb, why am I even here&quot;?
:'''Shelby''': Just treat him like a normal guy. That's what people want, even great artists. 
:'''Finn''': Okay, yeah. ''[walks off]'' Normal, normal.
:''[Finn brings the teapot, a water bucket and towel to James Baxter, places them down on the floor. He dips towel in the bucket, twists towel and pats it on James Baxter's head. Finn sees James Baxter's empty stare for a long pause]''
:'''Finn''': Normal, normal. ''[tries a deep voice]'' So, uh, you got any weekend plans? Doin' anything fun for the weekend? ''[dips towel in bucket]''
:'''Shelby''': You're really bad at this, man.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Finn''': ''[tends to James Baxter]'' Want some soup? I made it out of ice cream sandwich.
:''[Shelby slithers on Finn's head]''
:'''Shelby''': You're still being weird.
:'''Finn''': Well, what am I supposed to do?
:'''Shelby''': You gotta slap him, dude.
:'''Finn''': Wha?
:'''Shelby''': Slap him with some real time.
:'''Finn''': Oh...
:'''Shelby''': Stab him.
:'''Finn''': ''What''?!
:'''Shelby''': With a giant syringe.
:'''Finn''': Wha—?!
:'''Shelby''': Of respect.
:'''Finn''': Ohh...

== ''Jelly Beans Have Power'' [8.19] ==

== ''{{w|Islands (miniseries)|Islands}}'' ==

=== ''The Invitation'' [8.20] ===
:'''Bubblegum''': Finn, I get the sense that this trip's more important to you than your letting on. I mean, if you make it to that island, you might find out some pretty heavy stuff... about the humans, and where you came from, about yourself. Alls I'm saying is you have to promise me, ''promise'' me, that you'll come home safe.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Finn''': ''[in his mind before advancing the giant hovercraft]'' You got this, Finn Mertens. You're a buff little bionic baby.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Jake''': We don't need a boat! Have you forgotten? With a little imagination, ''[morphs himself as a sailing cruise ship]'' I can be anything that you could everrrr... ''[he morphs back to normal]'' Oh, I lost focus. Hey, yeah, can we borrow your boat?

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Finn is sitting on the rooftop of the Tree Fort, drinking his cup under an orange sky]''
:'''Finn''': Are ya up here, Fern? ''[Fern emerges up the grassy roof, sits beside Finn]''
:'''Fern''': Hey. Thanks for letting me crash on the roof. It's nice up here.
:'''Finn''': Stay as long as you want. I came up here to ask a favor. I... might be gone for a while on this trip, see, and I need someone to... uh, cover for me here anew. ''[Fern pauses for a beat]''
:'''Fern''': Are you sure? I mean, hero biz is your whole thing... and whatever I am, I'm not you.
:'''Finn''': You can just do your own thing with it. Like... if some huge gross monster's gonna do murder on a bunch of innocents, uh... kill it! But kill it you-styles. Just don't go nuts.
:'''Fern''': Okay. ''[summons his grass sword, curls back into his arm]'' I can handle that. Thanks for trusting me.
:'''Finn''': No, thank you, Fern. I better go pack.
:''[they both high-five, then Finn slaps Fern's hand awkwardly and touches his face; Fern grabs Finn's arm. He grumbles]''
:'''Finn/Fern''': We should figure out a better thing. / Let's figure out something better.

=== ''Whipple the Happy Dragon'' [8.21] ===
:'''Jake''': ''[on the sea as a boat]'' Finn, I wanna turn back.
:'''Finn''': What? We can't!
:'''Jake''': An annoying dragon wrecked our boat, I got poisoned by jellyfish and saw our dead parents. I don't see things de-escalating.
:'''Finn''': It's just a small bump. A-a bunch of small bumps.
:'''Jake''': No dumb island can be worth the risk!
:'''Finn''': Maybe not. But I can't turn back.
:'''BMO''': This trip means a lot to you, huh?
:'''Finn''': Yeah.
:'''Jake''': Yeah, but why? Do you wanna find some humans and ditch us?
:'''Finn''': No! It's just... uh... ''[covers his mouth, starts crying]'' Okay... look... I'm really happy in Ooo. I love our mom and dad. But I don't know squat about humans. If I don't see this through, part of me will always be stuck to that boom boom leaf where Mom found me... still alone.

=== ''Mysterious Island'' [8.22] ===
:'''Finn''': ''[wearing seed packets around his face]'' Now I can look like an idiot while I freeze to death.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Finn''': ''[encounters a giant bear]'' Giant bear? Come on! I fought the Lich at the edge of spacetime, man. You're out of your depth. You best just roll on, brah.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Finn and Alva ride on the giant bear to see Jake fighting a giant crab on the shore]''
:'''Finn''': Jake! Hey, Jake!
:'''Jake''': Oh, hey, buddy! Man, am I glad to see you. Hold on a second. ''[kicks giant crab away, turns to Finn, Alva and the giant bear]'' Man, this place sucks. I got attacked by nineteen giant crabs in just the last 30 seconds!
:'''Finn''': Yeah, man. I almost got eaten by this—
:'''Jake''': Hey, that's awesome! Now let's get the heck outta here. Are they coming, too? I'm not sharing my rations.
:'''Finn''': What? No, this is Alva. I... I-I think she's human. ''[starts drawing down his notebook]'' Alva, have you seen my friends? BMO... and Susan?
:''[he shows his crude illustrations of BMO and Susan to Alva; she slowly shakes her head]''
:'''Jake''': Oh, stuff, man. That's the slow shake. That's the universal death gesture!
:'''Alva''': Nej, nej! ''[as she speaks in Swedish, she begins drawing wave lines, a shape and a compass. She waves her arm and draws three more that are shaped like islands]''
:'''Finn''': Oh! Shoot, man, more islands. BMO and Susan must've washed all up on one of all up of them.
:'''Jake''': Well, it looks like there's only three more. This shouldn't be too hard. ''[long pause]'' Right?

=== ''Imaginary Resources'' [8.23] ===
:'''Finn''': ''[entering the virtual reality world named &quot;Better Reality&quot;]'' Oh, wow. This place is objectively interesting.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[BMO's avatar @MOD (a giant masculine body with three eyepatches) carries Finn and Jake's avatars to his sanctuary. A green, small-rounded, big nosed avatar named Vinny greets them]''
:'''Vinny''': Well, look who it is! Welcome back to your palace, your majesty.
:'''BMO''': Hi, Vinny! ''[slowly lowers Finn and Jake's avatars on the floor]''
:'''Vinny''': Who's Vinny? I thought I was hereby known as &quot;Get in heeyah!&quot;
:'''BMO''': I deserve that. I'm sorry I yelled at you. ''[touches a virtual screen]'' I've just been so zip-zopped-out over the bip-bops.
:'''Finn''': What?
:'''Vinny''':  Whoa, whoa, whoa! Who let these two system dumps into the chat room? Know what I'm saying?!
:'''BMO''': Yes, I do, Vinny. BRB. ''[opens a giant hole]'' I'm gonna go deep dope my ping-pong zilp-zorch.
:'''Finn''': What?
:'''BMO''': Vinny, can you hook my friends up with some BMO brand avies? ''[enters hole, closes]''
:'''Vinny''': What's the magic password? ''[BMO opens hole]''
:'''BMO''': Please, Vinny. ''[closes hole]''
:'''Vinny''': You got it, boss!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Finn''': ''[having a talk with BMO]'' So, you really don't want to come with us?
:'''BMO''': You sure you don't want me to milk you up a fresh new style?
:'''Finn''': No, I'm used to it now. Why don't you want to come with us?
:'''BMO''': I mean, I do want to go with you. But I am a beautiful, big man here. All of my instincts are in sync with this computer world. I'm really comfortable here.
:'''Finn''': Yeah, but it's all fake.
:'''BMO''': What's real? Your eyeballs think the sky is blue, but that's just sun rays farting apart through the barf of our atmosphere. The sky is black.

=== ''Hide and Seek'' [8.24] ===
:'''Dr. Gross''': ''We had to leave our place because the world was dying''
:''And everyone that wasn't dead spent all of their time crying''
:''Our ways had failed, nature had failed, we made a lot of errors'' 
:''The Founders had some new ideas that made everything better.''

:''The Founders dreamt of this island, our ships landed on its shore''
:''They built our wonderful Guardian to keep destruction from our door''

:''The Hiders fear these new ideas''
:''But do your best to help them''
:'''Cause just outside is darkness and death''
:''Disease, monsters and problems.''

:''So come out of your hiding place, come out of the darkness''
:''And we'll find a new way to live by the light of the Founders...''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Kara (Susan) and Frieda lie down and gaze up in the sky full of stars on top of their quarters]''
:'''Frieda''': You know, there are people on the other side of the world that are never gonna see these stars. ''[she waves her hand across the starry sky]''
:'''Kara''': ..That's bunk, Frieda. We're the only people left. The islands are like a beautiful safe haven. ''[Frieda sees a shooting star, contemplates]''
:'''Frieda''': I've read all the old stories about 'em, you know? About other places and people. I'd like to see those places one day, and meet those people. They can't all be monsters. ''[Kara is shocked, whispers to her]''
:'''Kara''': You can't say that, Frieda.
:'''Frieda''': Oh, relax. I'm just globbin'. Hey, watch this.
:''[she turns on her wrist gadget and forms a projection of a sparkling Kara doing poses. Kara walks to the projection chuckling]''
:'''Kara''': That's not what I look like.
:'''Frieda''': Yeah, it is! Come on, flex! ''[Kara tries a pose; she chuckles]'' See?
:'''Kara''': Wow! Am I really that buff? I look great! Don't you just love this place?
:'''Frieda''': Yeah... ''[sighs, depressed]'' Yeah.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Kara takes a walk down a corridor. She sees Dr. Gross in the classroom tinkering a gadget]''
:'''Kara''': Dr. Gross?
:'''Dr. Gross''': Kara! My teacher's pet. And you know I mean that in a good way.
:'''Kara''': Listen, um... sorry about running off earlier.
:'''Dr. Gross''': When you gotta go, you gotta go. But that's not really what you wanna talk about, right?
:'''Kara''': Well, you know how you always say that humans will find the best way?
:'''Dr. Gross''': The Founders get credit for that bit of wisdom.
:'''Kara''': If someone found a way, that's, uh, different from ours, but seems to work for them, couldn't that also be a good way?
:'''Dr. Gross''': Ah. You've heard some Hider preaching, haven't you? Well, listen, kid. We tried exploring the outside world, and we were almost destroyed! We're the last humans, so it's our responsibility to stay here, and it's ''your'' responsibility to help these misguided Hiders.
:'''Kara''': ''[unsure]'' ..Right.

=== ''Min and Marty'' [8.25] ===
:'''Finn''': Susan? I mean, Kara? Seems like you're leading us somewhere.
:'''Kara''': We're taking a ship to Founders Island, because judging by the state of these facilities... ''[punches through a facility door]'' Hub Island has been abandoned for over a decade. Dang, I missed big words. ''[enters a seaport full of rundown ships]'' This island is where I trained to be a Seeker.
:''[Kara squeezes herself in the only working ship followed by Finn]''
:'''Finn''': So, wait, why are we going to Founders Island? ''[Kara sits down]''
:'''Kara''': I'm taking you back to your mom. BMO, would you talk to this console? I can't access it without my implant. ''[Finn is slowly shellshocked]''
:'''Finn''': Um, you knew my mom?! You're gonna just drop that?!
:'''Kara''': Her name is Minerva. She's a Helper. ''[BMO completes configuration]'' Oh, thanks, BMO. Now let's try and start this sucker.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Singer''': ''I heard that you loved me but only for two weeks''
:''To be hopeless or not to be, I'm weak with indecision''
:''Could we begin again on a terrible date?''
:''It would be greatly appreciated by me.''

:''I'll wear my normal shoes this time''
:''Then maybe you'd like me better in the sunlight''
:''If I built a raft, will you stay with me then''
:''And fall in love all over again?''

=== ''Helpers'' [8.26] ===

=== ''The Light Cloud'' [8.27] ===
:'''Minerva''': Your world seems so chaotic. Your ruler's a piece of gum, your friend's a vampire, you dated a bit of fire. Your life is constantly in danger! 
:'''Finn''': It's my home. It's where I belong.
:'''Minerva''': As your mother, I think you belong somewhere safe. It's not your responsibility to fight monsters all the time. Let the grass kid do it, or the vampire girl. Minerva Bot 5, ready the cloud chamber. ''[Minerva Bot 5 carries the cloud chamber out of the water]'' Now, be a good boy and get into this machine so it can juice up your precious essence.
:''[Finn gasps, Jake spits his desserts and eats some more. Finn breathes in and out with his eyes closed]''
:'''Finn''': Mom, not only am I not getting juiced, I'm gonna leave this place and take everyone to freedom! ''[they both leave]''
:'''Minerva''': Okay, sweetie, but I think you'll find everyone's pretty happy here.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[on the ship home, Finn puts on the &quot;Better Reality&quot; VR headset. He finds himself in his former childhood home]''
:'''Finn''': Hmm. Homey.
:'''Minerva''': It was. ''[Finn turns to see Minerva and they hug each other]'' Take care of yourself in Ooo. Be careful when you're eating blueberries. Too many can hurt your tummy. ''[she then starts dissipating]'' Your ship is moving out of range.
:'''Finn''': Is this really you? Once you uploaded your brain and stuff, like, are you still the same person?
:'''Minerva''': I don't know for sure, but I feel like it's me. I hope that's enough.
:''[she dissipates and everything around Finn fades to black. The real Finn takes a moment as a single tear streams down his cheek]''
:'''Finn''': ..Goodbye.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:Children's television seasons]]
[[Category:Adventure Time seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>6ajhfwwdjt19irhs5cbjqgz5zw0tt64</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Adventure Time (season 9)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>195744</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943890</id>
      <parentid>3370437</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:27:43Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30410-75</username>
        <id>3325553</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943890</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="5064" sha1="nmza6malxqpdtxkshxl70niq36di1hf" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Adventure Time (season 1)|1]] [[Adventure Time (season 2)|2]] [[Adventure Time (season 3)|3]] [[Adventure Time (season 4)|4]] [[Adventure Time (season 5)|5]] [[Adventure Time (season 6)|6]] [[Adventure Time (season 7)|7]] [[Adventure Time (season 8)|8]] [[Adventure Time (season 9)|9]] [[Adventure Time (season 10)|10]] | [[Adventure Time: Distant Lands|Distant Lands]] | [[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake|Fionna and Cake]] | [[Adventure Time: Side Quests|Side Quests]] | [[Adventure Time|Main]]
----

{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Adventure Time|Adventure Time]]''''' (2010–2018) is an American animated television series on Cartoon Network. The series follows the adventures of a boy named Finn (voiced by Jeremy Shada) and his best friend and adoptive brother Jake (voiced by John DiMaggio)—a dog with the magical power to change shape and size at will.

== ''Skyhooks'' [9.02] ==
:'''Bubblegum''': I'm connected to all candy throughout all the galaxies. Once you're candy, you'll be part of me, too!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Lemonpink''': ''[squeezing his juices]'' I used to have a lot of fear and sadness, but now &lt;big&gt;I'M ''FI-I-I-I-INE''!!!&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Finn rides on Jake as they walk along a pinker, radically different version of Ooo]''
:'''Finn''': Does everything seem... pinker to you?
:'''Jake''': Home always looks different after a long trip. You're seeing it with fresh eyes and newfound wisdom. And sometimes there's also a new {{w|strip mall}} or something. So everything being pink is probably not a big deal, and also, I'm tired. ''[BMO comes out of Finn's backpack]''
:'''BMO''': I like the pink. Why you worry so much, worry baby?
:'''Jake''': Ha, ha, yeah! Why you worry so much, worry baby?
:'''BMO''': Don't worry, Finn. We're only teasing you because you're a baby.

== ''Bespoken For'' [9.03] ==
:''[Betty, unable to make Ice King remember, is sulking in Magic Man's basement]''
:'''Betty''': I've tried everything I can think of to make Simon remember. Is there something I'm missing? ''[kneels down to Tiny Manticore]'' What am I doing wrong?
:'''Tiny Manticore''': Maybe you're going after someone who doesn't exist anymore. Why not take him as he is? After all, you've been through a lot of changes yourself.
:'''Betty''': You're making a lot of sense, Tiny Manticore. We're like two shadows, two ghosts caught in limbo.
:'''Tiny Manticore''': It sounds depressing when you say it that way. Think of a different way to say it.

== ''Cloudy'' [9.05] ==
:'''Jake''': ''[giving Finn a haircut]'' Mr. Mertens, I know I'm just a humble scissors jockey, but you've been coming in my shop for almost 20 years. I can tell when you got something on your mind. ''[Finn sighs, Jake combs and cuts his hair]''
:'''Finn''': I think... I think what's bugging me is... ''[zoom in on Jake]''
:'''Jake''': ''[thinking out loud]'' &quot;''The haircut therapy is working!''&quot;
:'''Finn''': ..All this elemental stuff happened because I acted selfishly.
:'''Jake''': Oh, yeah?
:'''Finn''': It's like I'm employee of the month at an ice cream store, and I get someone to cover my shift, and when I come back, the place is burned to the ground and everyone I love is doomed. And now we're up here and we can't do anything to help. Did I secretly want that to happen? Like, deep down inside, was I afraid Fern would be better than me? And my lizard brain put out bad vibes? I guess the worst part of all is... ''[Jake removes suit off Finn]''
:'''Jake''':  All right, you're all done, Mr. Mertens. How's it look?
:'''Finn''': Jake! I was talking about important stuff!
:'''Jake''': Sorry, I always get caught up in the haircut.

== ''Abstract'' [9.10] ==
:'''Jake''': The shapes are always changing. Changing is their normal state, like us. Even if we're not changing on the outside, we're changing on the inside constantly. There's some stuff about me that I'd been ignoring for a long time. I'm afraid of that stuff. But its part of who I am. As long as I know the shape of my soul, I'll be all right.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Jake is dealing with his new appearance (being blue and big with five eyes) with Lady Rainicorn and Dirt Beer Guy]''
:'''Jake''': I think I'm handling these minor changes pretty well. Besides, a lot of people are different these days. ''[Lady nods]'' Dirt Beer Guy, you're practically a zombie. How are you dealing with it?
:'''Dirt Beer Guy''': Well, I'm basically the same as before. The difference is always physical.
:'''Jake''': So you agree Finn is really overreacting?
:'''Dirt Beer Guy''': Totally. You're the same person as before.
:'''Jake''': Heck yeah! I'm still the same old Jake on the inside!
:'''Dirt Beer Guy''': ''[realizes]'' Wait, you're Jake?! Uh, pardon me. ''[walks away from Jake and Lady]'' Oh dear, oh dear, that's really something. ''[Jake turns to Lady]''
:'''Jake''': You know, I think I figured out why I make people uneasy. They're used to yellow Jake.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:Children's television seasons]]
[[Category:Adventure Time seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>nmza6malxqpdtxkshxl70niq36di1hf</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Category:Actresses from Japan</title>
    <ns>14</ns>
    <id>199259</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943930</id>
      <parentid>3363508</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:52:36Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Moving from [[Category:Women from Japan]] to [[Category:Women from Japan by occupation]] using [[c:Help:Cat-a-lot|Cat-a-lot]]</comment>
      <origin>3943930</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="138" sha1="hckw9opof0m6z3l4bcbq9sqtweibig2" xml:space="preserve">[[Category:Actresses by country|Japan]]
[[Category:People from Japan by occupation|actresses]]
[[Category:Women from Japan by occupation]]</text>
      <sha1>hckw9opof0m6z3l4bcbq9sqtweibig2</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Adventure Time (season 10)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>200689</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943892</id>
      <parentid>3402000</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:27:52Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30410-75</username>
        <id>3325553</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943892</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="2972" sha1="hjynrxyyq04v70i1vxlirghfndlf1zc" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Adventure Time (season 1)|1]] [[Adventure Time (season 2)|2]] [[Adventure Time (season 3)|3]] [[Adventure Time (season 4)|4]] [[Adventure Time (season 5)|5]] [[Adventure Time (season 6)|6]] [[Adventure Time (season 7)|7]] [[Adventure Time (season 8)|8]] [[Adventure Time (season 9)|9]] [[Adventure Time (season 10)|10]] | [[Adventure Time: Distant Lands|Distant Lands]] | [[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake|Fionna and Cake]] | [[Adventure Time: Side Quests|Side Quests]] | [[Adventure Time|Main]]
----

{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Adventure Time|Adventure Time]]''''' (2010–18) is an American animated television series on Cartoon Network. The series follows the adventures of a boy named Finn (voiced by Jeremy Shada) and his best friend and adoptive brother Jake (voiced by John DiMaggio)—a dog with the magical power to change shape and size at will.

== ''Son of Rap Bear'' [10.03] ==
:'''Finn:''' Rap Bear. 
:'''Flame Princess:''' What happened?
:'''Rap Bear:''' ''(groans)'' My son and I were having Sunday dinner. We were lightly rapping back and forth. It turned into a rap battle. He threw out rhyme after rhyme. I couldn't keep up.
:'''Finn:''' You got beat by your own son?
:'''Flame Princess:''' Are his rap powers that much greater than yours?
:'''Rap Bear:''' Yes. Why are you asking about my son?
:'''Finn:''' Flame Princess is going up against him one on one in a freestyle battle.
:'''Rap Bear:''' ''(gasps)'' That kid will take you apart. He rapped my legs off.

== ''[[Come Along with Me (Adventure Time)|Come Along with Me]]'' [10.13-16] ==
:'''Finn:''' FYI, Princess, I'm not going anywhere!
:'''Jake:''' I'm also staying.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Marceline:''' This is a war I ''have'' to fight. We all have to.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Finn:''' I always figured I'd go out saving somebody...
:'''Simon:''' Hey. No one gets to choose how it happens. The most important thing is that we're here together.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Bubblegum:''' Marcy?
:'''Marceline''': You're okay!
:'''Bubblegum''': My armor has an emergency-
:'''Marceline''': ''(hugs her)'' You scared me.
:'''Bubblegum''': What?
:'''Marceline''': Even back when we weren't talking, I was so afraid that something bad would happen to you and I wouldn't be there to protect you and- ''(sheds a few tears)'' I don't want to lose you again.
:'''Bubblegum''': ''(gently)'' Hey, I'm a tough gum. Nothing never happening to me, never.
:'''Marceline''': I know, I- girl, you phrased that so weird.
:'''Bubblegum''': I might have a concussion. ''(the two giggle and then kiss)''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[last lines of the series]''
:'''Shermy''': Check it out, dude.
:'''Beth''': Very pretty. ''[Beth helps Shermy lift the sword out of the branch and Shermy looks at the sword after this]'' Lift that sword, Shermy.
:'''Shermy''': ''[lifts the sword]'' Aw yeah!

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:Adventure Time seasons]]
[[Category:Children's television seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>hjynrxyyq04v70i1vxlirghfndlf1zc</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Saima Harmaja</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>208626</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943926</id>
      <parentid>3254824</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:51:33Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>−[[Category:Women from Finland]]; ±[[Category:Women authors]]→[[Category:Women authors from Finland]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <origin>3943926</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1348" sha1="imwof45rsagtq2inu4aefrj3p80cpu7" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Saima Harmaja.jpg|thumb|right|Saima Harmaja]]

'''[[w:Saima Harmaja|Saima Rauha Maria Harmaja]]''' (May 8, 1913, Helsinki – April 21, 1937) was a Finnish poet and writer. She is known for her tragic life and early death, which are reflected in her sensitive poems.

{{author-stub}}
== Quotes ==
*&lt;p&gt;''Nyt varjo vain&lt;br&gt;on edessäni elon matka.&lt;br&gt;Ja takanain&lt;br&gt;on tuskan tie, se jot’ en jatka.''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''Mun takanain&lt;br&gt;on kevät alla julman kirren.&lt;br&gt;Sen elää sain,&lt;br&gt;sain kynnykselle suvivirren.''&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;''Sen mukanaan&lt;br&gt;vei käsi kallis, kylmentyvä.&lt;br&gt;Nyt suven maan&lt;br&gt;nään sydämessä hauta syvä.''&lt;/p&gt; 
**&lt;p&gt;Now but a shade&lt;br&gt;ahead on my life’s course will languish.&lt;br&gt;Behind is laid&lt;br&gt;my now abandoned way of anguish.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Behind me lies&lt;br&gt;the spring beneath its cruel icing.&lt;br&gt;It life supplies –&lt;br&gt;to summer verses’ door enticing.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;It’s taken me,&lt;br&gt;this chilling hand that yet I cherish.&lt;br&gt;And now I see&lt;br&gt;in summer’s heart that I must perish.&lt;/p&gt;
** A poem from the collection “Hunnutettu” (“Veiled”), translation by Rupert Moreton (1936)

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Harmaja, Saima}}
[[Category:Poets from Finland]]
[[Category:Diarists]]
[[Category:Women authors from Finland]]
[[Category:1913 births]]
[[Category:1937 deaths]]
[[Category:People from Helsinki]]</text>
      <sha1>imwof45rsagtq2inu4aefrj3p80cpu7</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Category:PBS Kids shows</title>
    <ns>14</ns>
    <id>210994</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944047</id>
      <parentid>2867983</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T21:45:24Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944047</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="22" sha1="nfnahrq0ipf13ehco93l3u5axlc6nve" xml:space="preserve">[[Category:PBS shows]]</text>
      <sha1>nfnahrq0ipf13ehco93l3u5axlc6nve</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Macedonians (ethnic group)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>212853</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943999</id>
      <parentid>2711776</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T17:36:29Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>GrimRob</username>
        <id>1187925</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>merged from [[J.R. Hamilton]]</comment>
      <origin>3943999</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1662" sha1="6szpq40ysus9lddlit7o1ce5xh2eub7" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Macedonians (ethnic group)|Macedonians]]''' are a South Slavic ethnic group native to the country of [[North Macedonia]]. They speak the Macedonian language, a South Slavic language. About two thirds of all ethnic Macedonians live in [[North Macedonia]] and there are also communities in a number of other countries.

==Quotes==
*The [Macedonian] people are civilised, friendly and highly educated. Even my tour guide had an MBA.
**[[David Cameron]], [https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2003/sep/10/davidcameron.politicalcolumnists &quot;The Macedonian job&quot;] (10 September 2003), ''David Cameron Diaries'', United Kingdom: The Guardian

*Macedonians fight for their own rights; the Macedonians fight for their own rights.
**[[w:Vlado Maleski|Vlado Maleski]], &quot;[[w:Denes nad Makedonija|Denes nad Makedonija]]&quot; (1943)
**Original Macedonian: ''Македонците се борат, за своите правдини!''

* That the Macedonians were of Greek stock seems certain. The claim made by the Argead dynasty to be of Argive descent may be no more than a generally accepted myth, but Macedonian proper names, such as Ptolemaios or Philippos, are good Greek names, and the names of the Macedonian months, although differed from those of Athens or Sparta, were also Greek. The language spoken by the Macedonians, which Greeks of the classical period found unintelligible, appears to have been a primitive north-west Greek dialect, much influenced by the languages of the neighboring barbarians.
** ''Alexander the Great'' (Hutchinson, London, 1973).

==External links==
*{{Wikipedia-inline}}

[[Category:People by ethnicity]]
[[Category:North Macedonia]]</text>
      <sha1>6szpq40ysus9lddlit7o1ce5xh2eub7</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Last lines in animated TV shows</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>214002</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944073</id>
      <parentid>3943778</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T22:51:39Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30711-08</username>
        <id>3326788</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* SpongeBob SquarePants */</comment>
      <origin>3944073</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="81973" sha1="gi7afrwm7d5jnvez68yjecyd2gj7aqx" xml:space="preserve">==Animated TV shows==
* '''You're coming with me, punk!'''
**Who: Ron the Rent-a-Cop
**Source: ''[[6teen]]'' (2004-2010)

*'''Oh yeah!'''
**Who: Shermy
**Source: ''[[Adventure Time]]'' (2010-2018)

*'''Being Choose Goose is no lark... especially now that I'm turning dark.'''
**Who: Choose Goose
**Source: ''[[Adventure Time: Distant Lands]]'' (2020-2021)

*'''That's right, be afraid! Be very afraid! And tell all your cold-blooded friends there's plenty more where that came from!'''
**Who: Baby Eddie
**Source: ''[[The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius]]'' (2002-2006)

*Oh no. It's started. [screaming]
**Who: Rob
**Source: ''[[The Amazing World of Gumball]]'' (2011-2019)

*Trust me. There's something magical about you too.
**Who: Jake Long
**Source: ''[[American Dragon: Jake Long]]'' (2005-2007)
**Notes: The closing credits to this episode views clips from the show's previous episodes.

* I am... I... I think as we are very tired, we should go down to the pond for a drink. Then we'll go back to our nests and burrows and sleep. We can explore our big new park tomorrow. And then we will plan how to live together in perfect peace and harmony. In the true spirits of Farthing Wood.
**Who: Plucky
**Source: ''[[The Animals of Farthing Wood (TV series)|The Animals of Farthing Wood]]'' (1993-1995)

*Mechana can we do it?
*We Animal Mechanical can!
**Who: Animal Mechanicals
**Source: ''[[Animal Mechanicals]]'' (2007-2011)
**Note: End of every episode catchphrase.

*I am the dirt under your nails, cupcake. Nothing's gonna clean me out.
**Who: Violet &quot;Vi&quot;
**Source: ''[[Arcane]]'' (2021-2024)

*&quot;Chapter one: how I got my very first pair of glasses…&quot;
**Who: Adult Arthur
**Source: ''[[Arthur (TV series)|Arthur]]'' (1996-2022)

*Well, I think you all look ''perfect''.
**Who: Toph Beifong
** Source: ''[[Avatar: The Last Airbender]]'' (2005-2008)

*You wanted to know how history will remember the Avengers, Iron Man? Well, here's your answer.
**Who: Captain America
**Source: ''[[The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes]]'' (2010-2013)

*Where shall I begin?
**Who: [[w:Babar the Elephant|King Babar]]
**Source: ''[[Babar (TV series)|Babar]]'' (1989–2000)

*Fine, but don't blame me if dinner is late! I'd like to see you cook a meal in your arms where your legs should be! Maybe I'll go on the Goraldo Show, he'll believe me about the aliens! I can't find my tush!
**Who: Nora Beady
**Source: ''[[Back at the Barnyard]]'' (2007-2011)

*Mini-muffin?
**Who: Tasha and Austin
**Source: ''[[The Backyardigans]]'' (2004-2010)

*We got the coolest clubhouse.
*We?
*Yeah, Junior Justice League. Team division.
*Nice try.
**Who: Robin, Batgirl and Batman
**Source: ''[[The Batman]]'' (2004-2008)

*A great run. And until we meet again boys and girls, know that wherever evil lurks in all its myriad forms, I'll be there with the hammers of justice to fight for decency, and defend the innocent. Goodnight.
**Who: Batman
**Source: ''[[Batman: The Brave and the Bold]]'' (2008-2011)

*I love you too, son. This message will self-destruct in 3...2...1...
**Who: [[w:Fred Jones (Scooby-Doo)|Fred Jones]] (reading a letter from his father)
**Source: ''[[Be Cool, Scooby-Doo!]]'' (2015-2018)

*P2, going down.
**Who: Elevator Announcer
**Source: ''[[Beavis and Butt-head]]'' (1993-97; 2011)

*The End!
**Who: Beetlejuice
**Source: ''[[Beetlejuice (TV series)|Beetlejuice]]'' (1989–1991)

*Bravo, Batman. Checkmate. Shall we play again?
**Who: Anarky
**Source: ''[[Beware the Batman]]'' (2013-2014)

*Bacon Berry? Guys, guys! You gotta check this out!
**Who: Lettie
**Source: ''[[Big Blue]]'' (2021-2022)

*Ba-a-la-la-la-la.
**Who: Baymax
**Source: ''[[Big Hero 6: The Series]]'' (2017-2021)

*Welcome to Taco Shack. May I take your order?
**Who: Taco Shack Employee
**Source: ''[[Billy Dilley's Super-Duper Subterranean Summer]]'' (2017)
**Note: Cancelled after one season due to poor ratings.

*Riley, run!
**Who: Huey Freeman
**Source: ''[[The Boondocks]]'' (2005-2014)

*Yeah. This is nice.
**Who: BoJack Horseman
**Source: ''[[BoJack Horseman]]'' (2014-2020)

*Never mind, I can't wait.
**Who: Brandy Harrington
**Source: ''[[Brandy &amp; Mr. Whiskers]]'' (2004-2006)

*Yup, yup! Let us swim to freedom!
**Who: Buhdeuce
**Source: ''[[Breadwinners]]'' (2014-2016)

*I'm stuck in a tree!
**Who: Bunsen
**Source: ''[[Bunsen Is a Beast]]'' (2017-2018)
**Note: Series cancelled after one season due to declining ratings and Butch Hartman leaving Nickelodeon.

*Everybody who loves Tea Party Land, say &quot;I&quot;! I! Okay, who's up for a crumpet?
**Who: Pupert Pesky
**Source: ''[[The Buzz on Maggie]]'' (2005-2006)

*Sometimes change is good. Having a new teacher turned out to be a lot of fun.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Caillou]]'' (1997-2010)

*Please tell me we go home alone with her?
**Who: McGee
**Source: ''[[Camp Lakebottom]]'' (2013-2017)

*Okay. I think it's just officially got to the point where it can't get any weirder.
**Who: Samson
*(in-credits:) Uh, yeah... okay. 
**Who: Stanley
**Source: ''[[Camp Lazlo]]'' (2005-2008)

*That's the magic of meat!
**Who: Johnny Meatseed
**Source: ''[[CatDog]]'' (1998-2005)

*''[laughing]'' Yeah.
**Who: Sally
**Source: ''The Cat In The Hat Knows A Lot About That!'' (2010-2018)

*Hey hoo cha, birdie bird wa, stinky dinky dinky dinky doo, yeah!!!
**Who: Mr. Blik, Gordon and Waffle
**Source: ''[[Catscratch]]'' (2005-2007)

*Hello, anybody, hello?
**Who: Snap
**Source: ''[[ChalkZone]]'' (2002-2008)

*Stop it, Zouzou. You're suppose to be a watch dog, not a kiss dog! ''[laughs]''
**Who: Charley
**Source: ''[[Charley and Mimmo]]'' (1999–2002)

*I have saved a fucking gorilla today, I also talked a very special idiot out of willing himself dead, and now, just because I'm too hairy in some places and too bald in other places, you can't find it in your putrid little heart to want to get to know me sexually? [Laughs sarcastically] What's wrong with me? What is wrong with you? I am magical!
**Who: Frank
**Source: ''[[China, IL]]'' (2011-2015)

*Babies, no! Put Scraps down!
**Who: Adult Chowder
*(post-credits:) Oh, radda.
**Who: Shnitzel
**Source: ''[[Chowder (TV series)|Chowder]]'' (2007-2010)

*Yes!
**Who: Clarence Wendle
**Source: ''[[Clarence (American TV series)|Clarence]]'' (2014-2018)

*Enjoy the moment, Jay. For the future is no longer foretold.
**Who: Cronus
**Source: ''[[Class of the Titans]]'' (2005-2008)

*What?! This is your fault!
**Who: Lil' D
**Source: ''[[Class of 3000]]'' (2006-2008)

*We are dumb.
**Who: Donna Tubbs-Brown
**Source: ''[[The Cleveland Show]]'' (2009–2013)
**Note: Ended after four seasons due to declining ratings and due to Cleveland and his new family moving back to Quahog near the end of Season 12 of Family Guy.

*Already with the excuses.
**Who: Bridgette
**Source: ''[[Close Enough]]'' (2020-2022)

*Hello? Yeah. We told him everything he wanted to hear. We'll meet you in the moonbase, okay? Oh! And Numbuh 1... Welcome back.
**Who: Adult Abigail Lincoln (Numbuh 5)
*(post-credits:) Stay young.
**Who: None
**Source: ''[[Codename: Kids Next Door]]'' (2002-2008)
**Notes: The final credits roll with a short montage of every episode from beginning to finish, ending with a picture of Sector V looking at the sunset outside the treehouse with the actual final lines read above them, &quot;Stay Young&quot;.

*What more could a bear ask for?
**Who: [[w:Corduroy (book)|Corduroy]]
**Source: ''[[Corduroy (TV series)|Corduroy]]'' (2000-2001)

*Perfect!
**Who: The Perfectionist (offscreen)
**Source: ''[[Courage the Cowardly Dog]]'' (1999–2002)

*I'll see you tomorrow.
**Who: Craig Williams
**Source: ''[[Craig of the Creek]]'' (2018-2025)

*That's right, Cubix. We're friends. Friends forever.
**Who: Connor
**Source: ''[[Cubix: Robots for Everyone]]'' (2001-2003)

*Thanks, Dan.
**Who: Little Chris
**Source: ''[[Dan Vs.]]'' (2011-2013)

*Cool statue. Personally, I would've used recycled materials, but, you know, that's just me.
**Who: Sam Manson
**Source: ''[[Danny Phantom]]'' (2004-2007)

*I take it back.
**Who: Jane
**Source: ''[[Daria]]'' (1997-2002)

*Come on, Eep. The moon's looking at me funny again. We need to go smash his face!
**Who: Grug Crood
**Source: ''[[Dawn of the Croods]]'' (2015-2017)

*I'm saying there's hope for Harleen yet.
**Who: Barbara &quot;Babs&quot; Gordon/Batgirl
**Source: ''[[DC Super Hero Girls (TV series)|DC Super Hero Girls]]'' (2019–2021)

*I can do anything with my best friends on my side.
**Who: Dottie &quot;Doc&quot; McStuffins
**Source: ''[[Doc McStuffins]]'' (2012-2020)

*Oh yeah. Hehehe. Anybody wanna dance?
**Who: Donkey Kong
**Source: ''[[Donkey Kong Country]]'' (1998-2000)

*It's a perfect name!
**Who: Enrique
**Source: ''[[Dragon Tales]]'' (1999–2005)

*Hey, assholes, thanks for watching!
**Who: [[w:List of Drawn Together characters#Toot Braunstein|Toot Braunstein]]
**Source: ''[[Drawn Together]]'' (2004-2007)

*First one inside gets to give him mouth to mouth!
**Who: Lee
*(post-credits:) It's the end of the movie? What movie?
**Who: Jonny
**Source: ''[[Ed Edd n Eddy]]'' (1999–2009)

*Familia forever!
**Who: El Tigre
**Source: ''[[El Tigre: The Adventures of Manny Rivera]]'' (2007-2008)

*I am.
**Who: Elena
**Source: ''[[Elena of Avalor]]'' (2016-2020)

*Remember, friends help friends solve problems. See you next time! 
**Who: [[w:Elliot Moose|Elliot Moose]]
**Source: ''[[Elliot Moose (TV series)|Elliot Moose]]'' (1998-2000)

*Hmm. Maybe being emperor won't be so bad after all.
**Who: Kuzco
*(post-credits:) KUZCO!!
**Who: Yzma
**Source: ''[[The Emperor's New School]]'' (2006-2008)

*What?
**Who: Gull
*Awww!
**Who: The Crowd
**Source: ''[[:Endangered Species (TV series)|Endangered Species]]''

*Guys, I just decoded a video record of last night's crazy mad cap adventures, and hijinx and things of this nature! Check it!
**Who: Dollarnator
**Source: ''[[:Fanboy &amp; Chum Chum]]''

*Happy Friendaversary!
**Who: [[w:Timmy Tiberius Turner|Timmy Turner]] and Chloe Carmichael
**Source: ''[[The Fairly OddParents|The Fairly OddParents!]]'' (2001-2017)
**Note: Ended after ten seasons due to Butch Hartman leaving Nickelodeon and due to declining ratings.

*Oh.
**Who: Ruff Ruffman
*I love you guys!
**Who: Emmie Atwood
**Source: ''[[Fetch! with Ruff Ruffman]]'' (2006-2010)

*I'm king of the world! King of the world!
**Who: Milo Fishtooth
**Source: ''[[Fish Hooks]]'' (2010-2014)

*Okay, bye doggies!
**Who: Cheese
**Source: ''[[Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends]]'' (2004-2009)

*Come on, Franklin.
**Who: Beaver
**Source: ''[[Franklin (TV series)|Franklin]]'' (1997-2004)

*You're an evil man!
**Who: Norm Abram
**Source: ''[[Freakazoid!]]'' (1995-1997)

*What a great day!
**Who: Kiki
**Source: ''[[Fresh Beat Band of Spies]]'' (2014-2016)

*Welcome home, Goliath. Welcome home.
**Who: Elisa Maza
**Source: ''[[Gargoyles (TV series)|Gargoyles]]'' (1994–1996)

*One thousand years ago, we lived in a world that understood our purpose. It was the age of Gargoyles. Ten centuries later, we awoke to a world bent on our destruction. Somehow, we never lost hope, and today we come full circle. A new age has begun, and we live again.
**Who: Goliath
**Source: ''[[Gargoyles (TV series)#Season 3 (The Goliath Chronicles) -- (Non-Cannon)|Gargoyles: The Goliath Chronicles]]'' (1996–1997)

*Yes, there is.
**Who: Agent Six
**Source: ''[[Generator Rex]]'' (2010-2013)

*Knowing Razer, I'd say he's got a pretty good shot.
**Who: Hal Jordan
**Source: ''[[Green Lantern: The Animated Series]]'' (2011-2013)

*Thanks for coming out, everyone!
**Who: Cory Riffin, Kin Kujira, Kon Kujira, and Laney Penn
**Source: ''[[Grojband]]'' (2013-2015)

*'''It's not the attic, you buffoon! Look, this goes against all of my programming, but there's something you need to know. There's one list item Hailey's never told you about.'''
**Who: Beta
**Source: ''[[Hailey's On It!]]'' (2023-2024)
**Note: Cancelled after one season and ended on a cliffhanger despite critical acclaim.

*'''Nah, let them have this.'''
**Who: Male Alien
**Source: ''[[Hamster &amp; Gretel]]'' (2022-2025)

*'''Yeah. You found each other. When a friend comes into your life, it changes you a little. They challenge you. They make you laugh. They make you stronger. Each person gives you a gift. A special part of them that you keep forever. It's like they're always with you.'''
**Who: Irving Beaks
**Source: ''[[Harvey Beaks]]'' (2015-2017)

*He's never gonna hear the end of it, isn't he?
**Who: Rhonda Lloyd
**Source: ''[[Hey Arnold!]]'' (1996-2004)

*'''Sorry, I didn't mean-- I'd take it back! Mmm, charred marshmallow flesh. Whoa! N-n-no! I didn't say that. No, it wasn't me. That wasn't someone, who else? Get off this ship, you're not welcome.'''
**Who: Nerville
**Source: ''[[The High Fructose Adventures of Annoying Orange]]'' (2012-2014)

*Oh, she's the most beautiful creature I've ever seen. This is the life...or more less.
**Who: Kaz Harada
**Source: ''[[Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi]]'' (2004-2006)

*That's a wrap!
**Who: Father Time
**Source: ''[[Histeria!]]'' (1998-2000)

*I feels very at home.
**Who: Oh
**Source: ''[[Home: Adventures with Tip &amp; Oh]]'' (2016-2018)

*I could go for tapas…
**Who: Brendan
**Source: ''[[Home Movies (TV series)|Home Movies]]'' (1999–2004)

*Oh, Mickey!
**Who: Minnie Mouse
**Source: ''[[w:House of Mouse|House of Mouse]]'' (2001-2003)

*I love you too, Bertie!
**Who: Arlo Beauregard
**Source: ''I Heart Arlo'' (2021)

*Get out of the house of Zim! This is my house, get out! Get-
**Who: Zim
**Source: ''[[Invader Zim]]'' (2001-2006)

*Why not?! You weren't using it! You're always﻿ too busy fighting wizards!
**Who: Drago
**Source: ''[[Jackie Chan Adventures]]'' (2000-2005)

*That was brilliant! Thank ye, mates! See you next time!
**Who: John Darling
**Source: ''[[Jake and the Never Land Pirates]]'' (2011-2016)

*Yes!
**Who: Fred Fredburger
**Source: ''[[Jellystone!]]'' (2021-2025)

*[cries] I don't have a tin cup to rattle at the bars! [yelling angrily] '''TWO-SHOOOOOEEEEES!!!'''
**Who: Lucius [Offscreen]
**Source: ''[[Jimmy Two-Shoes]]'' (2009–2012)

*You're wrong Mr. Teacherman, this is Porkbelly. Where we make our own history.
**Who: [[w:List_of_Johnny_Test_characters#Johnny Test|Johnny Test]]
**Source: ''[[Johnny Test]]'' (2005-2014)

*You bet, pal!
**Who: Kick Buttowski
**Source: ''[[Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil]]'' (2010-2012)
**Note: Cancelled after two seasons due to poor ratings.

*I told you graduation wasn't the end of the world.
**Who: Kim Possible
*(post-credits) Glad you asked! Funny story - not funny &quot;ha-ha&quot;. But, it was a Tuesday...
**Who: Dr. Drakken
**Source: ''[[Kim Possible]]'' (2002-2007)

*'''Are you ready, dino buddy? Once upon a time, there was a brave knight...'''
**Who: Tej
**Source: ''[[Kindergarten: The Musical|Kindergarten: The Musical!]]'' (2024-2025)
**Note: Cancelled after one season.

*Yup!
**Who: Hank Hill (original run)
**Source: ''[[King of the Hill]]'' (1997-2010)
**Note: Revival announced for 2025.

*Duck!
**Who: Arnold
**Source: ''[[Kipper (TV series)|Kipper]]'' (1997-2000)

*Hey everybody, Let's hear it for the Dragon Warrior! Huzzah, huzzah...
**Who: Lu Kang and the citizens
**Source: ''[[Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness]]'' (2011-2016)

*There you go!
**Who: Littlefoot
**Source: ''[[The Land Before Time (TV series)|The Land Before Time]]'' (2007-2008)

*Sounds perfect.
**Who: Korra
**Source: ''[[The Legend of Korra]]'' (2012-2014)

*Now is a time of celebration. We have won a great victory. But when the glow has faded, we must remember the cost, and we must be forever vigilant. The message of hate that Mordred carried will come again with a different name, a different face. But as long as we keep the ideals of Camelot alive in our hearts, we will prevail. Long live honor, and justice. Long live goodness, and truth. Long live... Camelot!
**Who: King Arthur
**Source: ''[[The Legend of Prince Valiant]]'' (1991-1993)

*Evil does not die. It evolves.
**Who: Brainiac 6
**Source: ''[[Legion of Super Heroes]]'' (2006-2008)

*Change can happen anytime, Carmen. If you ever wanted to start working harder to bring love and harmony to the world, remember, there's always tomorrow.
**Who: Luna the Moon
**Source: ''[[Let's Go Luna!]]'' (2018-2022)

*You have to catch up with it yourself.
**Who: Benjamin Franklin
**Source: ''[[Liberty's Kids]]'' (2002-2003)

*I love you too, Stitch.
**Who: Lilo Pelekai
**Source: ''[[Lilo &amp; Stitch: The Series]]'' (2003-2006)

*Little Bill, who are you talking to?
**Who: Brenda Glover
**Source: ''[[Little Bill]]'' (1999–2004)

*See you on the next mission!
**Who: Leo
**Source: ''Little Einsteins'' (2005-2010)
**Note: End-of-every episode catchphrase.

*I can't believe they canceled our show and put this on instead.
**Who: Lulu Moppet
**Source: ''[[The Little Lulu Show]]'' (1995-1999)

*'''Someday, kiddo. Someday.'''
**Who: Roger Baxter
**Source: ''[[Littlest Pet Shop (2012 TV series)|Littlest Pet Shop]]'' (2012-2016)
**Note: Cancelled due to poor toy sales. Succeeded by the reboot ''A World Of Our Own''.

*Go ahead, Eddie. I understand.
**Who: Lloyd Nebulon
**Source: ''[[w:Lloyd in Space|Lloyd in Space]]'' (2001-2004)

*Daffy! Get those legs up!
**Who: Granny
**Source: ''Baby Looney Tunes'' (2001-2005)
**Note: Canceled due to poor ratings and negative reviews. It was succeeded by ''[[The Looney Tunes Show]]'' in 2011.

*Ain't I a stinker?
**Who: Bugs Bunny as Batman
*And that's the end.
**Who: [[w:Bugs Bunny|Bugs Bunny]] (Post-credits)
**Source: ''[[The Looney Tunes Show]]'' (2011-2014)

*I just call &quot;dibs&quot; on his fish flakes.
**Who: A fish
**Source: ''[[Mad (TV series)|MAD]]'' (2010-2013)

*Hooray for Maggie!
**Who: Beast, Hamilton Hocks, Rudy, Nedley, and the Jellybean Team
**Source: ''[[Maggie and the Ferocious Beast]]'' (2000-2002)

*Yut is pleased by attention!
**Who: Mister Yut 
**Source: ''Littlest Pet Shop: A World of Our Own'' (2018-19)
**Note: Cancelled after one season.

*Leave me alone, or I will call my fiend back!
**Who: Vendetta
**Source: ''[[Making Fiends (TV series)|Making Fiends]]'' (2008)
**Note: Cancelled after one season.

*'''I'm the luckiest one here. I have two families! Now about that turkey...'''
**Who: Martha
**Source: ''[[Martha Speaks (TV series)|Martha Speaks]]'' (2008-2014)

*I guess we will, baby. I guess we will.
**Who: Bubbie
**Source: ''[[The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack]]'' (2008-2010)

*So even though things didn't go exactly like they were supposed to, that matinee turned out to be one of our best shows ever. Now that's teamwork. What can I say, Mom and Dad? We're a real class act. 
**Who: Eddy Largo
**Source: ''[[Marvin the Tap-Dancing Horse]]'' (2000-2002)

*'''It's a funny thing about making a commitment. Even though sometimes you don't want to follow through. Once you do, you're glad you did.'''
**Who: Maya Santos
**Source: ''[[Maya &amp; Miguel]]'' (2004-2007)

*Now, let's see what kind of new stuff the evil me put in Megas. Woo! Yeah, Wah-hoo! Yeah! Wa, ha, ha!
**Who: Harold &quot;Coop&quot; Cooplowski
**Source: ''[[Megas XLR]]'' (2004-2005)

*I believe that you would, Slick. Now how about a hand?
**Who: Agent K
**Source: ''[[Men in Black: The Series]]'' (1997-2001)

*See you later!
**Who: Squishella
**Source: ''[[Mermicorno: Starfall]]'' (2025)

*See ya real soon!
**Who: Mickey Mouse
**Note: Catchphrase that ends every episode of Season 1.
*Aw, thanks for stopping by!
**Who: Mickey Mouse
**Note: Catchphrase that ends almost every episode of Seasons 2-4.
*Aw, thanks for stopping by. Good night, everybody.
**Who: Mickey Mouse (original run)
**Source: ''[[Mickey Mouse Clubhouse]]'' (2006-2016)
**Note: Official last line of the series, because the series got cancelled after four seasons due to poor ratings. It was succeeded by ''Mickey and the Roadster Racers'', and later a revival was announced for 2025.

*See you next time! Ha ha ha!
**Who: Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, or Funny the Funhouse
**Source: ''[[Mickey Mouse|Mickey Mouse Funhouse]]'' (2021-2025) 

*Oh, Haps! I don't know if you can see from your side, but I just skywrote 'Bessie and Happy BFFAEAE' and it looks really great!
**Who: Bessie Higgenbottom
**Source: ''[[The Mighty B!]]'' (2008-2011)

*Don't worry about it.
**Who: Witchy Simone
**Source: ''[[Mighty Magiswords]]'' (2016-2019)

*'''I think we're gonna need a new ship.'''
**Who: Milo Murphy
**Source: ''[[Milo Murphy's Law]]'' (2016-2019)
**Note: Either on hiatus or cancelled after two seasons due to poor ratings. 

*Weddings, Priya. They do something to you.
**Who: Mira
**Source: ''Mira, Royal Detective'' (2020-2022)

*Aw, man. There goes my timeslot.
**Who: Ned
**Source: ''The Misfortune of Being Ned'' (2013-2014)
**Note:Only a 1-minute web series but cancelled on Annoying Orange in the YouTube Channel.

*'''Y'see? Sometimes one small Mixel is all it takes. Yup, Mixopolis is my town. And always will be.'''
**Who: Booger
**Source: ''[[Mixels]]'' (2014-2016)

*'''You go, Moon Girl!'''
**Who: The Beyonder
**Source: ''[[Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur]]'' (2023-2025)

*'''Beverly!'''
**Who: Sheriff
**Source: ''[[Momma Named Me Sheriff]]'' (2019-2021)

*'''Okay, going for the triple bonus.'''
**Who: President Hathaway
**Source: ''[[w:Monsters vs. Aliens (TV series)|Monsters vs. Aliens]]'' (2013-2014)

*Today's Christmas sermon is about family. What is family? Well, a lot of times, family is just a bunch of people who are forced to be together just because they came out of each other — but every so often...a miracle happens. A loving family, just like that, out of nowhere. Now, what causes this — a belief in God, a strong moral structure, blind luck? Who knows, who cares? Ah, you're not gonna get any answers out of me. I'm just a puppet for the Big Guy. I don't write this stuff. The end — I mean, Amen. Nah, who am I kidding? The End.
**Who: Reverend &quot;Rod&quot; Putty
**Source: ''[[Moral Orel]]'' (2005-2008)

*Oh, freak me out! This is craziness! (US version)
*Leave me alone, you ticklish pest! (UK version)
**Who: Mr. Bump
**Source: ''[[The Mr. Men Show]]'' (2008-2009)

*See you later, friends. And thanks for all the laughs.
**Who: Kermit
**Source: ''[[Muppet Babies (2018 TV series)|Muppet Babies]]'' (2018-2022)

*Thanks.
**Who: Thunder
**Source: ''[[My Friend Rabbit]]'' (2007-2008)

*Uh-oh.
**Who: Adam Lyon
**Source: ''[[My Gym Partner's a Monkey]]'' (2005-2008)

*Jenny, did you forget to feed the tiger?
**Who: Nora
**Source: ''[[My Life as a Teenage Robot]]'' (2003-2009)

*Let's bounce! Let's bounce! Oh, yeah! Let's bounce!
**Who: Daisy
**Source: ''Nature Cat'' (2015-2024)

*Monkey King!
**Who: Kai-Lan, Hoho, Tolee, and Rintoo
**Source: ''Ni Hao, Kai-Lan'' (2007-2011)

*Thank you for watching the show!
**Who: K.O.
**Source: ''[[OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes]]'' (2017-2019)

*Good night, Olivia. Time for bed, William!
**Who: Mom
**Source: ''[[Olivia]]'' (2009–2013)

*I have some things to tell you. It's about my backpack.
**Who: Ollie Allen
**Source: ''[[Ollie's Pack]]'' (2020-2021)

*T'dee, t'dee, t'dee, t'dee, t'dee, t'dee! Ted Cruz, folks!
**Who: Ted Cruz
**Source: ''[[Our Cartoon President]]'' (2018-2020)

*Should we tell him we stayed up last night and washed it?
*[yawns] Nah.
**Who: Peep and Chirp
**Source: ''Peep and The Big Wide World'' (2004-2011)

*''(translation)'' Phase one is complete, 807612r-B9. Commence Phase two?
**Who: The Guardian
**Source: ''[[Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero]]'' (2014-2017)

*The president cut the strings shorter. Only one foot long! Much safer for everyone.
**Who: Peg
*Definitely! 
**Who: Cat
**Source: ''Peg + Cat'' (2014-2018)

*'''Yes. Yes we do.'''
**Who: Phineas Flynn (original run)
**Source: ''[[Phineas and Ferb]]'' (2007-2015)
**Note: Revival announced for 2025.

*Tila!
**Who: Suki, Axel, Hazel, and Tibor
**Source: ''[[Pikwik Pack]]'' (2020-2021)

*Poppets away!
**Who: Blooter, Patty, and Bobby
**Source: ''[[Poppets Town]]'' (2008-2009)

*Not just yet. My person calls. I'll see you in the morning. And I'll be on time, I promise. But I'm not skipping breakfast. Because believe me, breakfast with Dot, it's the most important meal of my day.
**Who: Lucky
**Source: ''[[Pound Puppies (2010 TV series)|Pound Puppies]]'' (2010-2013)

*Make a run of yourselves! I'm running away!
**Who: Alfe
**Source: ''[[The Problem Solverz]]'' (2011-2013)

*Let's go!
**Who: Bingo and Rolly
**Source: ''[[Puppy Dog Pals]]'' (2017-2023)

*Nobody ever listens to me.
**Who: Zak
**Source: ''[[Rabbids Invasion]]'' (2013-2017)

*I love you, Rapunzel.
**Who: [[w:Flynn Rider|Eugene Fitzherbert]]
**Source: ''[[Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure]]'' (2017-2020)

*Attention. As you are no doubt aware, the Principal Office is now under my complete control. You're probably looking forward to one of my erudite speeches about me, Megaframe, the new viral dawn, et cetera et cetera. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to disappoint you. There is no grand scheme here. This is about revenge. Viruses are predatory by design, and it is time for me to follow my function. Prepare yourselves... for the hunt!
**Who: Megabyte
**Source: ''[[ReBoot]]'' (1994-2001)
**Note: Ended after four seasons with no resolution.

*Jolly good show.
**Who: Pops Maellard
**Source: ''[[Regular Show]]'' (2010-2017)

*Oh, raggy!!!
**Who: Stimpy
**Source: ''[[The Ren &amp; Stimpy Show]]'' (1991-1996)

*Hello, Fleemco.
**Who: Todd and Riley Daring
*(post-credits) Thanks for having my back, bro.
*Always, sis. Always.
**Who: Todd and Riley Daring
**Source: ''[[The Replacements (TV series)|The Replacements]]'' (2006-2009)

*And we're cancelled.
**Who: Dog
**Source: ''[[Right Now Kapow]]'' (2016-2017)

*Nine hundred bazillion bottles of root beer on the wall... / Nine hundred bazillion bottles of root beer...
**Who: Heffer Wolfe
**Source: ''[[Rocko's Modern Life]]'' (1993-1996)

*No... Ashi...
**Who: Jack
**Source: ''[[Samurai Jack]]'' (2001-2004; 2017)

*Yeah!
**Who: Sanjay Patel, Craig Slithers, Megan Sparkles, Hector Flanagan, Ronnie Slithers, and Tuff Fist
**Source: ''[[Sanjay and Craig]]'' (2013-2016)

*'''I'm happy you're home too, Sofia.'''
**Who: Princess Amber
**Source: ''[[Sofia the First]]'' (2012-2018)

*Don't apologize. I never do.
**Who: Norman Osborn
**Source: ''[[The Spectacular Spider-Man (TV series)|The Spectacular Spider-Man]]'' (2008-2009)

*It has been a long, hard journey. And I think you are finally entitled to some happiness.
*Amen to that, lady. Amen to that.
**Who: Madame Web and Spider-Man
**Source: ''[[Spider-Man (1994 TV series)|Spider-Man]]'' (1994-1998)

*Hip-hip hooray! The Super Readers saved the day!
**Who: Whyatt Beanstalk
**Source: ''[[Super Why!]]'' (2007-2016)
**Note: End of every episode catchphrase.

*Then let's do this together.
**Who: Adora/She-Ra
**Source: ''[[She-Ra and the Princesses of Power]]'' (2018-2020)

*We'll be sharing from now on!
**Who: The Prairie Dogs
**Source: ''[[Sheriff Callie's Wild West]]'' (2014-2017)

*It was an accident, and accident!
**Who: Eric Needles
**Source: ''[[Sidekick (TV series)|Sidekick]]'' (2010-2013)

*Well, there's always next season.
**Who: Dr. Eggman
**Source: ''[[Sonic Boom (TV series)]]'' (2014-2017)

*Oh, you gotta be kidding me. Okay, team, we gotta go fast!
**Who: Sonic
**Source: ''[[Sonic Prime]]'' (2022-2024)

*Game over butt-nik!
**Who: Sonic
**Source: ''[[Sonic Underground]]'' (1999)

*I may have been small today, but it turned out to be the biggest day of my life.
**Who: Oso
**Source: ''[[Special Agent Oso]]'' (2009–2012)

*It's been said before, but I'll say it again. There's no place like home.
**Who: Dennis the Fish
**Source: ''[[Stanley (2001 TV series)|Stanley]]'' (2001-2008)

*We wait.
**Who: Susie
**Source: ''[[Summer Camp Island]]'' (2018-2023)
**Note: Series unfortunately ended due to the beginning of the COVID-19 Pandemic, succeeded for the third season renewal announcement.

*Kimmy? Uh, hello? Kimmy. Umm... Kimmy?
**Who: Amber
**Source: ''[[Sym-Bionic Titan]]'' (2010-2011)

*Umifriend, we couldn't have done it without you.
**Who: Milli
**Notes: Those are the last spoken words on every episode in Season 1.
*I feel a celebration coming on!
**Who: Bot
**Source: ''[[Team Umizoomi]]'' (2010-2015)
**Notes: Those are the last spoken words on every episode (starting with the second season), the actual last line is the final verse of the Umi Shake song: &quot;Mighty, mighty, mighty... MATH POWERS!&quot;

*And that's way Floridians...
*Should never leave the state!
*That's right.
*Silly Pete.
**Who: Crocodile Grandfather and his two grandchildren
**Source: ''[[Teenage Euthanasia]]'' (2021-2023)
**Note: Cancelled after two seasons.

*Beast Boy to Robin: I'm on my way, over.
**Who: Beast Boy
**Source: ''[[Teen Titans]]'' (2003-2006)
**Note: Cancelled after five seasons.

* '''But I still won the race.'''
** Who: Bertie
** The classic series of Thomas &amp; Friends was finally ended.

* '''If you don't mind me saying, a Royally Useful Engine.'''
** Who: The Queen
** Source: ''[[Thomas &amp; Friends]]'' (1984-2021)
** The modern series ultimately got cancelled due to poor toy sales; succeeded by its reboot ''All Engines Go''.

*The different animals of Third Earth, working together for the first time. You know why? You, Lion-O. You gave them something to believe in. Now, there's still one more stone left. Are we gonna find it or what?
**Who: WilyKit
**Source: ''[[ThunderCats (2011 TV series)|ThunderCats]]'' (2011-2012)
**Note: Cancelled after just one season due to declining ratings.

*Eh, one orphan genius is as good as another.
**Who: Sister Thornley
**Source: ''[[Time Squad]]'' (2001-2003)

*Okay, time page. How about some help with my math homework?
**Who: Anna
**Source: ''[[w:Time Warp Trio|Time Warp Trio]]'' (2005-2006)

*It's really good. And Yoko likes (baby beans) burritos. She likes almond cookies too. Can you put an extra one in my lunch box tomorrow and some lettuce for Norman...
**Who: Juanita
**Source: ''[[Timothy Goes to School]]'' (2000-2002)

*Oh, and send an ambulance, Sarge. An art lover just fainted.
**Who: Dibble
**Source: ''[[Top Cat]]'' (1961-1962)

*You know it, Pipster. Let's flamin-go!
**Who: Freddy
**Source: ''T.O.T.S.'' (2018-2022)

* Starring Ruby Trollman!
** Who: The BFFL
** Source: ''Trollz'' (2005-2007)

*Hooray for T.U.F.F.!
**Who: Dudley Puppy, Kitty Katswell, Keswick, and Chief Herbert Dumbrowski
**Source: ''[[T.U.F.F. Puppy]]'' (2010-2015)

*You've got an appointment alright! An appointment with '''''DOOM!!!'''''
**Who: Cyril Sneer
**Source: ''The Raccoons'' (1985-1991)

*One more thing, how about a dance?
**Who: Tut
**Source: ''[[Tutenstein]]'' (2003-2008)

*Suck my balls! (Thanks for watching!)
**Who: Manbird
**Source: ''[[Ugly Americans]]'' (2010-2012)

*'''Aw, yeah!'''
**Who: Uncle Grandpa, Mr. Gus, Pizza Steve, Giant Realistic Flying Tiger, Belly Bag and Frankenstein
**Source: ''[[Uncle Grandpa]]'' (2013-2017)

*'''The Scare B&amp;B will always be a place for everyone, no matter how different you are. Whether you're human, monster, ghost or ghoul. Or someone who's blue with pointy teeth, like me.'''
**Who: Vampirina &quot;Vee&quot; Hauntley
* '''We love you, Vee!'''
**Who: Bridget
**Source: ''[[Vampirina]]'' (2017-2021)

*Really, Roger?
**Who: Larry the Cucumber
**Source: ''[[VeggieTales]]'' (1993-2015)

*Makes no difference. You've bought me enough time.
**Who: Coyolxauhqui
**Source: ''Victor and Valentino'' (2019–2022)

*To Allura!
**Who: Takashi 'Shiro' Shirogane, Keith, Lance, Katie &quot;Pidge&quot; Holt, and Hunk
**Source: ''[[Voltron: Legendary Defender]]'' (2016-2018)
**Notes: The epilogue reveals what happened to the characters of the show after honoring Allura right before the credits start.

*'''Nothing ever changes.'''
**Who: Sylvia and Peepers 
*(in-credits:) '''They'll get what's coming to them.'''
**Who: Lord Dominator
**Source: ''[[Wander Over Yonder]]'' (2013-2016)
**Note: Cancelled after two seasons and ended on an in-credits cliffhanger despite a third season planned.

*'''Oh, Todd.'''
**Who: Maurecia
**Source: ''[[Wayside (TV series)|Wayside]]'' (2007-2008)

*'''Monsta X!'''
**Who: [[wikipedia:Monsta X|Monsta X]]
**Source: ''[[We Bare Bears]]'' (2015-2019)

*'''Later days!'''
**Who: Everyone
**Source: ''[[The Weekenders]]'' (2000-2004)
**Note: Catchphrase that Tino uses to end every episode.

*I will never forget you, Eliza Thornberry.
**Who: Shane G.
**Source: ''[[The Wild Thornberrys]]'' (1998-2004)

*'''Oh well, I guess I'll just have to eat it myself. Works every time.'''
**Who: Gus
**Source: ''[[Willa's Wild Life]]'' (2008-2010)

*'''Since we’re coming clean, I always knew you were a monkey.'''
**Who: Violet
**Source: ''[[WordGirl]]'' (2007-2015)

*Schlitweitz!
**Who: David and Lisa
**Source: ''[[The World of David the Gnome]]'' (1987)

*Sure! Let's do it! Hey! Wait for me! And my cool tail!
**Who: Wubbzy
**Source: ''[[Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!]]'' (2006-2010)

*Thanks for playing with us. See you next time! 
*Bye!
*Here we go! Yo Gabba Gabba...
**Who: DJ Lance (Lance Robertson) and the Gabba gang (Muno, Foofa, Brobee, Toodee, and Plex)
**Source: ''[[Yo Gabba Gabba!]]'' (2007-2015)
**Note: End of every episode catchphrase. It was succeeded by the revival ''Yo Gabba Gabbaland!'' in 2024.

*Here we go! One, two, three, Yo Gabba Gabba!
**Who: Everyone
**Source: ''[[Yo Gabba Gabba!#Yo Gabba Gabbaland! 2024 revival series|Yo Gabba GabbaLand!]]'' (2024-present)
**Note: End of every episode catchphrase.

===''Hazbin Hotel''===
*Adam is dead. Your deal is done and I'm in charge now. Your brat is threatening the very foundation of Heaven. And if you want to stay here, you're going down there, and stopping that bitch. You understand me...Lilith?
**Who: Lute (Season 1)
**Source: ''Hazbin Hotel'' (2024-present)

===''Hilda''===
*'''Odds are...she'd do it again.'''
**Who: The Wood Man (Season 1)
**Source: ''Hilda'' (2018-2023)

*'''Where's my daughter?!'''
**Who: Johanna (Season 2)
**Source: ''Hilda'' (2018-2023)

*'''Woo-hoo...Oof!'''
**Who: Hilda
**Source: ''Hilda and The Mountain King'' (2021)

*'''Looks like your stop!'''
**Who: Raven (Season 3)
**Source: ''Hilda'' (2018-2023)

===''Amphibia''===
* '''Hold on for a little longer girls. I'm coming for you and when I find you, we're gonna get home, but first... I think we're gonna have some fun with this place.'''
**Who: Sasha Waybright (Season 1A)
**Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019–2022)

* '''No, I'm not.'''
**Who: Anne Boonchuy (Season 1B)
**Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019–2022)

* '''I have a proposition for you Marcy. And I think you'll find it very interesting.'''
**Who: King Andras (Season 2A)
**Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019–2022)
**Note: Although &quot;A Day at the Aquarium&quot; is the mid-season finale, the mid-season finale that's a non-canon is &quot;The Shut In&quot; which could either be the season premiere or the mid-season finale. If the next episode was the mid-season finale, then the last line would be &quot;Not a holiday! Definitely not a holiday!&quot; by Anne Boonchuy.

* '''Home.'''
**Who: Anne Boonchuy (Season 2B)
**Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019–2022)

* '''I can't imagine spending the holidays without your family. I know how hard it is to be apart and not know if you'll ever see each other again. So, I'm writing to let you know that your daughter is alive. She's trapped in another world, but I promise, I'm going to bring her back home safe. Signed, a friend.'''
**Who: Anne Boonchuy (Season 3A)
**Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019–2022)
**Note: Although, it's not technically the last line in Season 3A. The mid-season finale was supposed to be &quot;Escape to Amphibia&quot;. That means Anne's real last line in Season 3A was supposed to be &quot;What... happened here?&quot;.

* '''Change can be difficult, but it's how we grow. It can be the hardest thing to realize you can't hold on to something forever. Sometimes, you have to let it go. But of the things you let go, you'd be surprised what makes its way back to you.'''
**Who: Anne Boonchuy (Season 3B)
**Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019–2022)
**Note: That was the last line of the series altogether, but the last spoken lines were &quot;THANKS, FROG LADY!!!&quot; by the children on a field trip to the aquarium.

===''Futurama''===
*Please don’t stop playing Fry. I wanna hear how it ends.
**Who: Leela
**Source: ''[[Futurama]]'' (1999–2003)
**Note: The end of the Fox era after five seasons and was originally intended to be the series current of the show altogether but it returned after the four straight-to-video made for TV movies and was moved in.

*What do you say, you wanna go around again?
*I do.
**Who: Fry and Leela
**Source: ''[[Futurama]]'' (2018-2013)
**Note: The end of the Fox era after four seasons and was originally intended to be currently after the second run but it returned after Professor Farnsworth unfroze time, thus making &quot;Meanwhile&quot; a pointless current, and it moved to Fox 10 years later.

**Source: ''[[Futurama]]'' (2023–present)

===''Max &amp; Ruby''===
*Max! My summer fashion party is an even bigger hit! Thanks to you and your...
**Who: Ruby
*Sprinkler!
**Who: Max
**Source: ''[[Max &amp; Ruby]]'' (2002-2013)

*You are definitely the most surprising pair of the year.
**Who 1: The Mayor
*Super Bunny!
**Who 2: Max
**Source: ''Max &amp; Ruby (2016 reboot)'' (2016-2021)

===''Work It Out Wombats!''===
*Huh?
**Who: Malik and Zadie (Season 1, Part 1)
**Source: ''Work It Out Wombats'' (2023-present)
*'''''NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!'''''
**Who: Mr. E (Season 1, Part 2)
**Source: ''Work It Out Wombats'' (2023-present)

===''The Owl House''===
* '''Yes, consume, grow wise, avoid paper cuts.'''
** Who: Bat Queen (Season 1A)
** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023)

* '''Worry not, Kiki. We will be keeping an eye on the inhabitants of &quot;The Owl House&quot;. In the meantime, the Day of Unity is upon us, and we have much work to do.'''
** Who: Emperor Belos (Season 1B)
** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023)

* '''Who dubbed you a parent?'''
** Who: Edalyn Clawthorne aka &quot;The Owl Lady&quot; (Season 2A)
** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023)

* '''Hey, Mom. I'm back.
** Who: Luz Noceda (Season 2B)
** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023)

* '''Shoot! Camila still has the car keys!'''
** Who: Vee Noceda/Number 5 Basilisk (Season 3, &quot;Thanks To Them&quot;)
** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023)

* '''I think I want to play a new game.'''
** Who: The Collector (Season 3, &quot;For the Future&quot;)
** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023)

* '''And that's how we saved the Boiling Isles. Well, as much as we could. We were so relieved to see everyone safely released from the Archives. They were spared the worst of it, at least. Because of that, everyone got to reunite with their families and loved ones. And if someone thought they had no one waiting for them, well, they were in for a nice surprise. Still, there was a lot of work to be done and not everyone was keen to change things, but we were ready to give it a shot, all of us. As for the Collector, he and I made a pinky promise to keep trying our best. He said he had a lot of growing up to do, so he decided to return to the stars. No one argued, but I think I heard King whisper, &quot;I hope I see you again.&quot; We got our happy ending, but I realized something in that moment. When the Titan had finally passed on, so did the powers of the glyphs. I had learned the Titan's language, but now I had no one to speak it to. It had helped me find my place when I had no other way. In my heart, I'll never forget it. A whole chapter of my life was over, but a new one was just beginning.'''
** Who: Luz Noceda (Rerun version) (Season 3, Watching and Dreaming)
** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023)

* '''Welcome to the Boiling Isles! Watch your step!'''
** Who: The Collector (original airing and digital versions) (Season 3, Watching and Dreaming)
** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023)

* (post-credits:) '''Eda, King? Thank you for everything.'''
* '''Right back at you, kid.'''
* '''Weirdos?'''
* '''Weirdos.'''
* '''Weirdos.'''
* '''They're nearly gone! Okay everyone, on the count of three. One, two, three!'''
* '''BYE!!!'''
** Who: Luz, Vee and Camila Noceda, Edalyn, Lilith and King Clawthorne, The Hexsquad, The Banshees and Everyone on the Boiling Isles (Season 3, &quot;Watching and Dreaming&quot;)
** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023)

===''My Little Pony''===
====''My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic''====
*'''In fact, it’s made it...'''
*'''...the best night ever!'''
**Who: Mane Six and Spike (Season 1)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*'''Oh, yeah? Just wait until you see what I have planned for the bachelor party!'''
**Who: Spike (Season 2)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*'''Yes! Everything's gonna be just fine!'''
**Who: Twilight Sparkle (Season 3)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*'''Yes, well, I suppose not.'''
**Who: Discord (Season 4)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*'''Wonder what she's dreaming about now.'''
**Who: Spike (Season 5A)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*'''Starting is easy. All you have to do is make a friend; and you've got ''seven'' of them right here.'''
**Who: Twilight Sparkle (Season 5B)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*'''Friendship lessons can happen...anywhere.'''
**Who: Starlight Glimmer (Season 6A)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*'''Somepony is really gonna have to catch us up on what we missed.'''
**Who: Rainbow Dash (Season 6B)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*'''Seriously, this is heavy.'''
**Who: Pinkie Pie (Season 7A)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*'''It's funny. I thought meeting my idol would give me all the answers I ever wanted. But instead, I forgot what I already knew. Good thing I had a student of my own to remind me.'''
**Who: Twilight Sparkle (Season 7B)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*'''You know, if we can survive a day like this, I think our friendship is strong enough to handle anything the world can throw at us.'''
**Who: Twilight Sparkle (Season 8A)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*'''Hey, neighbor. Wanna be friends?'''
**Who: Cozy Glow (Season 8B)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*'''Nicely done.'''
**Who: Princess Celestia (Season 9A)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

*'''That's all right, because I know exactly where to send you.'''
**Who: Future Twilight Sparkle (Season 9B)
**Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

====Misc.====
* I don't either!
** Who: Rainbow Dash
** Source: ''My Little Pony: Pony Life'' (2020-2021)
** Note: Cancelled after one season, despite a cliffhanger ending. It was succeeded by the 2021 film, ''My Little Pony: A New Generation''.

* I'm so grateful for everything we've shared over the years. My memories of all of you are so special, I can't wait to start making more.
**Who: Twilight Sparkle
** Source: ''My Little Pony: Friendship is Forever'' (2020)

===''Bluey''===
* Oh yeah? Why's that?
**Who 1: Chilli Heeler (Series 1, Part 1)
*Um...I don't know, I just do. But this is nice too though.
**Who 2: Bluey Christine Heeler (Series 1, Part 1)
**Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present)

*Bye, everyone! I've got to go home now!
**Who: Bluey Christine Heeler (Series 1, Part 2)
**Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present)

*Who was Muffin?
**Who 1: Bluey Christine Heeler (Series 2, Part 1A)
*Ballerina!
**Who 2: Socks Heeler (Series 2, Part 1A)
**Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present)

*Remember I'll always be here for you, even if you can't see me. Because I love you.
**Who: Chilli Heeler (Series 2, Part 1B)
**Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present)

*Maybe you just saw something you wanted.
**Who: Bingo Heeler (Series 2, Part 2)
**Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present)

*Yeah. See you later.
**Who: Young Bandit Heeler (Series 3, Part 1)
**Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present)

*Yes...yes...you got it! Woo hoo!!!
**Who 1: Bandit Heeler, Chilli Heeler, Pat, and Janelle (Series 3, Part 2)
*Come here, Chucky!
**Who 2: Pat and Janelle (Series 3, Part 2)
**Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present)

*You're not coming, are you?
**Who: Chilli Heeler (Series 2, Part 3A)
**Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present)

*That's lucky.
**Who: Bingo Heeler (Series 3, Part 3B)
**Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present)

*Once upon a time, there was a farmer who owned a horse called Midnight. But one day, Midnight ran away. The farmer's neighbors came by and said &quot;that's bad luck&quot;. But the farmer said...
**Who: Bluey Christine Heeler (Series 3, Part 4)
**Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present)

===''Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur''===
*'''We're gonna get her back.'''
**Who: Mimi (Season 1)
* ''(post-credits)'' '''Where am I?'''
**Who: Lunella Lafayette/Moon Girl (Season 1)
**Source: ''Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur'' (2023-2025)

*'''But you are my daughter, and you are NEVER doing this again!'''
**Who: Adria Lafayette (Season 2A)
**Source: ''Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur'' (2023-2025)

*'''You go, Moon Girl!'''
**Who: The Beyonder (Season 2B)
**Source: ''Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur'' (2023-2025)

===''The Cuphead Show!''===
*Whoa!
**Who: Cuphead, Mugman
**Source: ''The Cuphead Show!'' (Season 1, 2022)

*Mugman...?
**Who: Cuphead
**Source: ''The Cuphead Show!'' (Season 2, 2022)

*CUPHEAD...!!!
**Who: Mugman and Ms. Chalice
**Source: ''The Cuphead Show!'' (Season 3, 2022)

===''The Proud Family''===
* ''WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH?'' '''''WHY...?!?!!'''
**Who: Oscar Proud
**Source: ''The Proud Family'' (2001-2005)

*Come on, Puff!
**Who: Suga Mama (Season 1)
**Source: ''The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder'' (2022-present)

*Oh man! I gotta find another non-paying job!
**Who: Penny Proud (Season 2)
**Source: ''The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder'' (2022-present)

=== ''Elliott from Earth'' ===
*Oh. Was that meant to happen?
**Who: 105E
**Source: ''[[Elliott from Earth]]'', Diminishing Discourse (2021)
**Notes: Cancelled after only sixteen episodes.

===''The Powerpuff Girls''===
*Oh, how do you know?
**Who: Mojo Jojo
*So once again, the day is saved. Thanks to The Powerpuff Girls...and the contaminated banana cream pie. 
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[The Powerpuff Girls]]'' (1998-2005)

*Hoc-guy?
**Who: The Professor
**Source: ''[[The Powerpuff Girls (2016 TV series)|The Powerpuff Girls]]'' (2016-2019)

===''PB&amp;J Otter''===
*Happy Hoohaw Halloween everyone!
**Who: Peanut and Jelly Otter
*Happy Hoohaw Halloween!
**Who: Everyone
**Source: ''[[PB&amp;J Otter]]'' (1998-2000)
**Note: Cancelled after three seasons.

===''Cat Burglar''===
* But I...
**Who: Rowdy (Bad Ending)
**Source: ''Cat Burglar'' (2022)

* What can I say? I'm a non-existential cartoon cat!
**Who: Rowdy (Good Ending)
**Source: ''Cat Burglar'' (2022)

===''Big City Greens''===
*'''One step ahead of you.'''
**Who: Remy Remington (Season 1A)
**Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present)

*'''Whaaaaa?!'''
**Who: Remy Remington (Season 1B)
**Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present)
**Note: Quote from &quot;Phoenix Rises&quot; which is the actual mid-season finale. But, &quot;Forbidden Feline&quot; is probably the mid-season finale as it counts as a holiday special, despite it being the 37th episode in chronological order. So, the last line could be &quot;Look, I'm sorry I abandoned you earlier, but if you're gonna fancy me up, AT LEAST LET ME PICK THE DRESS!!!!&quot; by Cricket Green. Or if you count &quot;Uncaged&quot; as part 2 of the mid-season finale, then the last line would be &quot;Never.&quot; by Nancy Green. 

*'''Ugh, fine.'''
**Who: Cricket Green (Season 1C)
**Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present)

*'''Drinks on me!'''
**Who: Andromeda (Season 2A part 1)
**Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present)

*'''OH MY GOSH, WHAT HAPPENED?!'''
**Who: Bill Green (Season 2A part 2)
**Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present)

*'''And yet, it just...''did.'''''
**Who: Tilly Green (Season 2B)
**Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present)
**Notes: Quote from &quot;Chipwrecked&quot;, which is the actual mid-season finale. But, if you count &quot;Chip-ocalyspe Now&quot; as part 2 of the mid-season finale, then the last line would be &quot;Uh, I think so.&quot; by Bill Green.

*'''Good TV.''' 
**Who: Tilly Green (Season 2C part 1)
**Who: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present)

*'''No, it's Gloria ''Plus'' Green. My name isn't -- oh, forget it.'''
**Who: Gloria Sato (Season 2C part 2)
**Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present)

*'''I'M INNOCENT I SWEAR!!! Ah, forget it. I'll see myself to my room.'''
**Who: Cricket Green (Season 3A part 1)
**Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present)

*'''I just had the craziest idea...'''
**Who: Bill Green (Season 3A part 2)
**Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present)
**Notes: Quote from &quot;Dirt Jar&quot;, which is the actual mid-season finale. But, if you count &quot;The Move&quot; as part 2 of the mid-season finale, the last line would be &quot;Darn right, we will. Even if today was a little bumpy, it sure is great to be home.&quot; by Cricket Green.

*'''Don't push it, Papa.'''
**Who: Tilly Green (Season 3B part 1)
**Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present)
**Note: Quote from &quot;Horse Girl&quot; which ended part 1 of Season 3B. But, if you count &quot;Virtually Christmas&quot; as the end of part 1 of Season 3B, then the last line would be Bill yelling &quot;CRICKET!!!&quot;.

*'''The Greens. It was the Greens. And their troubles are just beginning.'''
**Who: Chip Whistler (Season 3B part 2)
**Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present)

*'''Oh, completely separate incident with a rat.'''
**Who: Chip Whistler (Season 4A part 1)
**Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present)

*'''I get you. Come here, normal family!'''
**Who: Bill Green (Season 4A part 2)
**Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present)
**Note: Last episode to premiere before ''[[Big City Greens the Movie: Spacecation]]''.

*'''Read the room, Gloria.'''
**Who: Cricket Green (Season 4B part 1)
**Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present)

*'''Hey, Babe, can you hold this? I need my arms free.'''
*'''Sure.'''
**Who: Chip Whistler and Babe (Season 4B part 2)
**Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present)

*'''Nance, you're crushin' me!'''
**Who: Bill Green (Season 4C)
*(in-credits:) '''Okay, boys... nice smiles!'''
**Who: Nancy Green (Season 4C)
**Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present)

===''The Ghost and Molly McGee''===
* Ooh!
**Who: Molly McGee (Season 1)
**Source: ''[[The Ghost and Molly McGee]]'' (2021-2024)

* Aww, Scratch would have wanted that too.
**Who: Molly McGee (Season 2)
**Source: ''[[The Ghost and Molly McGee]]'' (2021-2024)

===''Gravity Falls''===
* '''That's good.'''
** Who: Gideon Gleeful (Season 1A)
* (in-credits) '''Cross this town off our list.'''
** Who: Winninghouse Coupon Saver  (Season 1A)
** Source: ''[[Gravity Falls]]'' (2012-2016)
** Note: Although, &quot;Little Dipper&quot; is the mid-season finale of Season 1, the next episode is technically the mid-season finale because it was the last episode of 2012 before it entered a three month hiatus, even though it’s a Halloween special. If &quot;Summerween&quot; was the mid-season finale, then the last line would be &quot;I ate a man alive tonight.&quot; by Soos Ramirez.

* '''Here we go.'''
** Who: Stanley Pines (Season 1B)
** Source: ''[[Gravity Falls]]'' (2012-2016)
** Note: This is the last spoken line of the season, but in its first broadcast of this episode, the last line was &quot;Gravity Falls will return.&quot; also by Stanley Pines.

* '''I am so on it, dude.'''
** Who: Soos Ramirez (Season 2A)
** Source: ''[[Gravity Falls]]'' (2012-2016)

* '''If you've ever taken a road trip through the pacific northwest, you've probably seen a bumper sticker for a place called &quot;Gravity Falls&quot;. It's not on any maps, and most people have never heard of it, some people think it's a myth. But if you're curious, don't wait. Take a trip. Find it. It's out there, somewhere in the woods. Waiting.'''
** Who: Dipper Pines (Season 2B)
** Source: ''[[Gravity Falls]]'' (2012–2016)
** Note: This is the last line of the series altogether, but the last spoken line was &quot;Well, I'm moved in!&quot; by Fiddleford Hadron McGucket.

===''DuckTales''===
* '''Me wallet! Stop that thief! Don't let that sneak get away! Dijon!'''
** Who: Scrooge McDuck
** Source: ''[[DuckTales (1987 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (1987-1990)

* '''Plenty more adventures where that came from, eh, lad? Now, where in blazes is that cocoa stand? I am freezing!'''
** Who: Scrooge McDuck (Season 1A)
** Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2021)

* '''Boys?!'''
** Who: Della Duck (Season 1B)
** Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2021)

* '''I'm home.'''
** Who: Della Duck (Season 2A)
** Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2021)

* '''This has gone too far. The ducks almost cost us a world today, and without the world, who would we larceny against? The pieces are finally in piece. Time to come out of the shadows, take control, and end Clan McDuck. If the McDuck family wants an adventure, we'll give them their last.'''
** Who: Chairman Bradford Buzzard/FOWL Agent (Season 2B)
** Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2021)

* '''Woo-hoo!'''
** Who: Huey, Dewey, Louie, and Webby (Season 3A)
** Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2021)

* '''Alright. That was close, Launchpad. Phew, almost ruined the tender family moment.'''
** Who: Launchpad McQuack (Season 3B)
** Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2021)

===''Alvin and the Chipmunks''===
*'''Not me! You!... SIMON!'''
**Who: Alvin
**Source: ''[[Alvin and the Chipmunks (1983 TV series)]]'' (1983-1990)

*'''Wait! Chipmunks, take me with you! Hey! Chipmunks, take me with you! Please!'''
**Who: Cheesy
**Source: ''[[Alvin and the Chipmunks (2015 TV series)]]''

===''Animaniacs''===
* '''It actually doesn't stink!'''
** Who: [[w:Yakko, Wakko, and Dot|Wakko Warner]]
* (post-credits:) '''Goodbye, nurse!'''
** Who: [[w:Yakko, Wakko, and Dot|Yakko, Wakko, and Dot]]
** Source: ''[[Animaniacs]]'' (1993-1998)

* '''I am not a refrigerator!'''
** Who: [[w:List_of_Animaniacs_characters#Pinky and the Brain|The Brain (Brain2-Me2)]]
** Source: ''[[Pinky and the Brain]]'' (1995-1998)

* '''I'm Underwear Head!'''
** Who: [[w:List_of_Tiny_Toon_Adventures_characters#Elmyra Duff|Elmyra Duff]]
* '''They're Pinky, the Brain, and Underwear Head-head-head-head-head.'''
** Who: Off-screen vocals
** Source: ''[[Pinky, Elmyra &amp; the Brain]]'' (1998-1999)

* '''And the moral of our story is...'''
** Who: Yakko Warner
** Source: ''[[Wakko's Wish]]'' (1999)

* '''Well, that's why the right man for the job is always a woman.''' ''[winks]''
** Who: Dot Warner (Season 1)
** Source: ''[[Animaniacs (2020 TV series)]]'' (2020-2023)

* '''This time, I wonder if we'll dream.'''
** Who: Wakko Warner (Season 2)
** Source: ''[[Animaniacs (2020 TV series)]]'' (2020-2023)

* '''Ooh, I know! What about-''' ''[but the meteor explodes]''
** Who: Wakko Warner (Season 3)
** Source: ''[[Animaniacs (2020 TV series)]]'' (2020-2023)

===''Star vs. the Forces of Evil''===
* '''No problem, your highness. I hope you found all the pieces to the wand.'''
** Who: Glossaryck (Season 1)
** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019)

* '''I'm not a malady.'''
** Who: Ludo (Season 2A)
** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019)

* '''Star! Hey! What do you mean--?''' ''[gasps]'' '''Star...?'''
** Who: Marco Diaz (Season 2B)
** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019)

* '''My name is Metora.'''
** Who: Ms. Heinous/Metora Butterfly (Season 3A)
** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019)

* '''Hello, my love. We're home.'''
** Who: Eclipsa Butterfly (Season 3B)
** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019)

* '''So, Queen, I know a lot just happened, but it's still your coronation. Shall we make this thing official?'''
** Who: Principal Ruberiot (Season 4A)
** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019)

* '''Hey.'''
* '''Hi.'''
** Who: Marco Diaz and Star Butterfly (Season 4B)
** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019)

===''Elinor Wonders Why''===
*Hello, baby tree!
**Who: Olive Elephant (Season 1A)
**Source: ''Elinor Wonders Why'' (2020-2023)

*Yes! We need more observations! Salta, ranita, salta! ''[giggles]''
**Who: Elinor Rabbit (Season 1B)
**Source: ''Elinor Wonders Why'' (2020-2023)

===''Ben 10''===
*And for Ben Tennyson, who didn't want the summer to end, he would come to realize that going back to school was merely another beginning.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''[[Ben 10 (2005 TV series)|Ben 10]]'' (2005-2008)
**Notes: The final episode of the original series, ''Goodbye and Good Riddance'', was retconned as non-canon in the sequel series.

*If he ever does, it's hero time!
**Who: Ben Tennyson
**Source: ''[[Ben 10: Alien Force]]'' (2008-2010)

*Two is plenty.
**Who: Doyle Blackwell
**Source: ''[[The Secret Saturdays]]'' (2008-2010)

*Perhaps for your eighteenth birthday.
**Who: Azmuth
**Source: ''[[Ben 10: Ultimate Alien]]'' (2010-2012)

*Gwen? Okay, fine, Gwen''dolyn'', you and Kevin pack your bags, we're going on a road trip!
**Who: Ben Tennyson
**Source: ''[[Ben 10: Omniverse]]'' (2012-2014)

*You know what that means, kiddos? Team Tennyson is back in business!
**Who: Grandpa Max Tennyson
**Source: ''[[Ben 10 (2017 TV series)|Ben 10]]'' (2017-2021)

===''The Berenstain Bears''===
*What about my kumquats? Oh, I love those kumquats.
**Who: Weasel McGreed
**Source: ''[[The Berenstain Bears (1985 TV series)|The Berenstain Bears]]'' (1985-1986)

*Anytime. Your tool belt will be right here waiting.
**Who: Papa Q. Bear
**Source: ''[[The Berenstain Bears (2003 TV series)|The Berenstain Bears]]'' (2003-2004)

===''Cow and Chicken''===
*Yeah! hold it, It was brilliant! Bravo! Get up, my little crab friends. Ow! oh, oh. Ow! oh, oh. Ha, ha, ha, ha! Easy with the pinchers. Ow! ow! oh. I did not have to bring you guys tonight! Looks like Red Guy always gets in the END! Ha, ha, ha, ha!
**Who: Red Guy
**Source: ''[[Cow and Chicken]]'' (1997-1999)

*It was Baboon all along and not me that everyone was watching. I am not a legend, I am a tool. Well, I guess it's dummies won, smart guys zero.
**Who: I.M Weasel
**Source: ''[[I Am Weasel]]'' (1997-2000)

===DC animated universe===
*It's okay, there'll be another time.
**Who: Batgirl
**Source: ''[[Batman: The Animated Series]]'' (1992-1995)

*One person at a time.
**Who: Lois Lane
**Source: ''[[Superman: The Animated Series]]'' (1996-2000)

*Guilty... guilty... guilty...
**Who: Two-Face
**Source: ''[[The New Batman Adventures]]'' (1997-1999)

*I'm coming.
**Who: Miguel Diaz 
**Source: ''[[Batman Beyond]]'' (1999–2001)

*Yeah, they can't get rid of ''us'' that easily.
**Who: Static
**Source: ''[[Static Shock]]'' (2000-2004)

*Don't worry, Zee, we'll find a way.
**Who: Ro Rowan 
**Source: ''[[The Zeta Project]]'' (2001-2002)

*I love you, too.
**Who: [[w:John Stewart (character)|Green Lantern]]
**Source: ''[[Justice League]]'' (2001-2004)

*And the adventure continues.
**Who: Wonder Woman
**Source: ''[[Justice League|Justice League Unlimited]]'' (2004-2006)

===DIC ''Mario'' Cartoons===
*Y'know, dearie, I've enjoyed your visit, but do me one favor: Next time, let me come and visit you!
**Who: Grandma Toadstool
**Source: ''[[The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!]]'' (1989)

*Yeah, but we couldn't have done it without our Toad!
**Who: Mario
**Source: ''[[The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3]]'' (1990)

*Good night. Mama Luigi.
**Who: Yoshi
**Source: ''[[Super Mario World (TV series)|Super Mario World]]'' (1991)

===''Digimon''===
*Our adventure in the Digital World might be over for now, but that gate won't stay closed forever. I have a feeling that this won't be the last time we see our pals, the Digimon! You wait and see. One day, that portal will open up again and we'll return to the Digital World! I wonder if Agumon will remember me? I know I'll never forget him, or the rest of the Digimon! None of us will!
**Who: Tai Kamiya
**Source: ''Digimon Adventure'' (1999–2000)

*So, you can see we're still having adventures. They're just a little different from the ones we used to have when we were kids. The darkness has not been conquered, and it will continue to fight against the light forever, but as long as people remember to follow their dreams, evil will be kept at bay. And on days like today, it's hard to see any darkness anywhere. Now it's up to our children, and to children everywhere, to follow their dreams. Who knows where they'll end up, but the only way to find out is to take that first step into adventure.
**Who: T.K. Takashi
**Source: ''Digimon Adventure 02'' (2000-2001)

*Even though I thought I would never be the same, the world soon went back to normal and after a while so did I. Life became exactly as it was before I met Guilmon. Kazu still made bad jokes and Miss Nami still gave too much homework. Sometimes I go by our old hangouts just to see if he's there. Don't know why I bother, 'cause he's never there. Most times I'm OK but there's this one thing that bugs me: a promise I made to a friend—a promise I don't think I can keep. (beat) Actually, scratch that. I think I'm going to keep that promise after all.
**Who: Takato Matsuki
**Source: ''Digimon Tamers'' (2001-2002)

*Takuya: But even if I spent time with my family... 
*Zoe &amp; J.P.: ...or other friends...
*Koji &amp; Koichi: ...or with our family...
*Tommy: ...or just hanging around not crying...
*Takuya: ...I'll be best friends with you guys!
*All: Forever!
**Who: The Digidestined
**Source: ''Digimon Frontier'' (2002-2003)

===''Dora the Explorer''===
*'''We couldn't have done it without you, thanks for helping!'''
**Who: Dora Márquez
**Source: ''[[Dora the Explorer]]'' (2000-2019)
**Note: End of every episode catchphrase from Seasons 1-2.
*'''Gracias!'''
**Who: Dora Márquez
**Source: ''[[Dora the Explorer]]'' (2000-2019)
**Note: End of every episode catchphrase from Season 3-8.

*Adios, amigos! See you soon!
**Who: Dora Márquez, Emma, Kate, Naiya, and Alana 
**Source: ''Dora and Friends: Into the City!'' (2014-2016)
**Note: End of every episode catchphrase.

*'''Hasta luego, amigos!'''
*'''See you soon!'''
**Who: Diego and Alicia Márquez
**Source: ''[[Go, Diego, Go!]]'' (2005-2011)
**Note: End of every episode catchphrase.

===''Doug''===
*Dad was right. It was the most amazing thing we'd ever seen. And he was right about something else, too. It really did bring our family closer than we'd ever been before.
**Who: Douglas &quot;Doug&quot; Yancey Funnie
**Source: ''[[Doug (TV series)|Doug]]'' (Nickelodeon series) (1991-1994)

*So long, everybody. It's been fun. Your friend forever, Doug!
**Who: Douglas &quot;Doug&quot; Yancey Funnie
**Source: ''[[Doug (TV series)|Disney's Doug]]'' (1996-1999)
**Note: Revival in development.

===''Dragon Ball''===
*For the continued adventures of Goku and his friends, be sure to watch '''[[w:Dragon Ball Z|Dragon Ball Z]]'''!
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''Dragon Ball'' (1986-1989)

*Young Uub has been taken in by the greatest warrior on the planet--Goku, the orphan who fell from the stars to become the savior of mankind. One thing is certain: as long as Goku lives, peace AND prosperity will reign.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''Dragon Ball Z'' (1989–1996)

*And now we end the story of the Dragon Balls with the hope that the Earth will never again see the kind of darkness that brought it close to extinction so many times. But if that day comes, there is one who will step out of the shadows and fight in the name of all that is good and true!
*Til we meet again, guys!
**Who: Narrator and Goku
**Source: ''Dragon Ball GT'' (1996-1997)

*Goku, please come home.
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''Dragon Ball Z Kai'' (2010-2018)

*This is the journey that will never end. The struggle to push beyond all limits and we define the meaning of power new and mightier foes will arise, new adventures will begin and Goku and his fellow warriors will be ready. Until then, we bid you farewell!
**Who: Narrator
**Source: ''Dragon Ball Super'' (2017-2019)

===''Fancy Nancy''===
*We here at the School De Fancy now sees that everyone has their own way of being fancy. And as long as it makes you happy...we think it's magnifique!
**Who: Nancy Clancy (Season 1)
**Source: ''Fancy Nancy'' (2018-2022)

*It sure feels magnifique to be home!
**Who: Nancy Clancy (Season 2)
**Source: ''Fancy Nancy'' (2018-2022)

*It's…magic. And the only thing more magical than Paris is famille. That's French for family.
**Who: Nancy Clancy (Season 3)
**Source: ''Fancy Nancy'' (2018-2022)

===''Infinity Train''===
*I'm ready for anything.
**Who: Tulip Olsen (Season 1)
**Source: ''[[Infinity Train]]'' (2019–2021)

*I wanted to be cool one time, just once. Nerd.
**Who: Jesse Cosay (Season 2)
**Source: ''[[Infinity Train]]'' (2019–2021)

*Guess we'll have to figure it out.
**Who: Grace Monroe (Season 3)
**Source: ''[[Infinity Train]]'' (2019–2021)

*We're...
*We're working on it.
**Who: Min-Gi Park and Ryan Akagi (Season 4)
**Source: ''[[Infinity Train]]'' (2019–2021)

===''Inspector Gadget''===
*I'll get you next time, Gadget! Just you wait!
**Who: Dr. Claw
**Source: ''[[Inspector Gadget]]'' (1982-1986)

*Next time, Gadget! Next time!
**Who: Dr. Claw
**Source: ''Inspector Gadget'' (2015-2018)

===''Soul Eater''===
*It'll be okay. When it does come, we'll be there. Besides, there's a lot more of people more than evil thoughts and bad deeds. There's bravery. Everybody has that. right in there.
**Who: Maka Albarn
**Source: ''[[Soul Eater|Soul Eater]] (2008-2009)

===''SpongeBob SquarePants''===

* '''Watch out.'''
**Who: Barnacle Boy (season 1) (production and broadcast)
**Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present)

* '''Awwww...!!'''
**Who: Mr. Krabs (season 2) (production and broadcast)

* '''We should have bought the whoopie cushion!''' [groans]
**Who: SpongeBob SquarePants (season 3) (production and broadcast)
**Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present)
**Note: Originally intended to be cancelled after three seasons and after the first movie, but was renewed for Season 4. However, the first movie is still considered as the series finale to the show all together.

* '''Wow! This is the best Best Friends Day ever!'''
**Who: Patrick Star (season 4) (production)
* '''Hey, Get back here. You little booger!'''
**Who: Mr. Krabs (season 4) (broadcast)
**Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present)

* '''Sorry, boss.'''
**Who: Stanley S. SquarePants (season 5) (production)

* '''Looks like I'm back in Bikini Bottom forever!'''
**Who: SpongeBob SquarePants (season 5) (broadcast)
**Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present)

* '''Yeah I think right now might be the best time.'''
**Who: SpongeBob SquarePants (season 6) (broadcast)
**Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present)

*'''Plankton, What have you done to my daughter? You made her cry! You know, she could been with an ATM! Someone with money, But she chose you! I don't know why!'''
**Who: E.M.I.L.P. (season 6) (production)
**Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present)

* '''Aw, I knew Plankton was hatching an evil plan the whole time. So I just adjusted the controls to put Plankton where he can't do any harm. Nobody fools a squirrel from Texas!''' ''[Laughs which turns into evil laughter]''
**Who: Sandy Cheeks (season 7) (production)

* '''Well, it's like I told you before boy, there ain't no such thing as witches, or curses, or magical beings, or...'''
**Who: Mr. Krabs (season 7) (broadcast)
**Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present)

* '''Oh, sorry, sir. I just sold it a minute ago. But we do have this slightly used Taco Stand for sale.'''
**Who: Pawn Shop Owner (season 8) (production)

* '''I think stealing a mail truck definitely counts as naughty. Wouldn't you say, Potty? Ho ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!'''
*'''I sure would, Santa. [laughs] Merry Christmas!'''
**Who: Santa Claus and Potty the Parrot (season 8) (broadcast)
**Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present)

*Huh? Why are you Laughing?
**Who: Old Man Walker (season 9A) (production)
*See Patrick, bubbles are the answers to everything.
**Who: SpongeBob SquarePants (season 9A) (broadcast)
**Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present)

*NO!
**Who: Squidward Tentacles (season 9B) (production)
*Great! Now, GET TO WORK!!!
**Who: Mr. Krabs (season 9B) (broadcast)
**Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present)

*Oh, he'll be fine.
**Who: Patrick Star (season 10) (production and broadcast)
**Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present)

* You have a thing on your thing.
**Who: Patrick Star (season 11) (production)
* You're a menace!
**Who: Santa Claus (season 11) (broadcast)
**Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present)

* Goodnight. Eat tight. &quot;Eat tight.&quot; [Laughs then snores]
**Who: SpongeBob SquarePants (season 12) (production)
* Here we go again!
**Who: SpongeBob SquarePants (season 12) (broadcast)
**Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present)

*Well, I still am a little mad.
**Who: Sheldon J. Plankton (season 13A) (production and broadcast)
**Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present)

*Sandy, help us!
**Who: Townsfolk (season 13B) (production and broadcast)
**Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present)

*You'll come back now, you hear?
**Who: French Narrator (season 14) (production and broadcast)
**Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present)
*Best fan club ever!
**Who: SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidina (season 15) (production and broadcast)
**Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present)
*Wait! No, I'm sorry! Beep.
**Who: Plankton (season 16) (production and broadcast)
**Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present)
* Best Plank Day Ever!
**Who: Young Patrick Star (season 1)
**Source: [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years]] (2021-2024)

* This was fun!
**Who: Elwood (season 2)
**Source: ''[[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years]]'' (2021-2024)

* Hey, nice bathroom! I call the top bunk!
**Who: GrandPat Star (season 1)
**Source: ''[[The Patrick Star Show]]'' (2021-present)

*I just love my fabulous, filthy family.
**Who: Bunny Star (season 2)
**Source: ''[[The Patrick Star Show]]'' (2021-present)
*Yes, Mom, I love shopping.
**Who: Patrick Star (season 3)(broadcast)
**Source: ''[[The Patrick Star Show]]'' (2021-present)
*Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
**Who: Santa Claus (season 3) (production)
**Source: ''[[The Patrick Star Show]]'' (2021-present)
*This really was the best slumber party ever. 
**Who: Squidina Star (season 4)(broadcast)
**Source: ''[[The Patrick Star Show]]'' (2021-present)
*The End.
**Who: The Flying Dutchman (season 4) (production)
**Source: ''[[The Patrick Star Show]]'' (2021-present)

===''The Lion King''===
*'''Oy.'''
**Who: [[w:Timon and Pumbaa|Timon]]
**Source: ''Timon &amp; Pumbaa'' (1995-1999)

*'''Yes, I am.'''
**Who: [[w:The Lion Guard|Kion]]
**Source: ''[[The Lion Guard]]'' (2015-2019)

===''The Loud House''===
*'''Dang it!'''
**Who: Loud family (Season 1, production)
**Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present)

*'''Wait, what just happened?'''
**Who: Lincoln Loud (Season 1, broadcast)
**Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present)

*'''Looks like we're getting the hang of not being so overprotective, huh, Howie? Howie? I'll get the smelling salts.'''
**Who: Harold McBride (Season 2, production and broadcast)
**Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present)

*'''Ooh, I got one: hamburgers.'''
**Who: Leni Loud (Season 3, production)
**Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present)

*'''Actually, that was an 18th century Japanese parasol, but no problem.'''
**Who: Clyde McBride (Season 3, broadcast)
**Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present)

*'''It's just till the end of the summer.'''
**Who: Lori Loud (Season 4, production and broadcast)
**Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present)

*'''You got it! All right, everybody. Back to class, or it's a week's detention!'''
**Who: Rusty Spokes (Season 5, production)
**Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present)

*'''Oh, no. Chamomile.'''
**Who: Lincoln Loud and Clyde McBride (Season 5, broadcast)
**Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present)

*'''Oh. Our own personal mud masks! Nature is classier than I thought.'''
**Who: Lola Loud (Season 6, production and broadcast)
**Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present)

*'''Liam! I found your retainer!'''
**Who: Rusty Spokes (Season 7, production and broadcast)
**Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present)

*'''Ronnie Anne! That's my line!'''
**Who: Carlino Casagrande (Season 1)
**Source: ''[[The Casagrandes]]'' (2019–2022)

*'''Thank you, Mr. President.'''
**Who: Ronnie Anne Santiago (Season 2)
**Source: ''[[The Casagrandes]]'' (2019–2022)

*'''Sweet dreams, mijo.'''
**Who: Rosa Casagrande (Season 3)
**Source: ''[[The Casagrandes]]'' (2019–2022)

===''Madagascar''===
*'''Even the problem, not our jurisdiction.'''
**Who: [[w:List_of_Madagascar_(franchise)_characters#Skipper|Skipper]]
**Source: ''[[The Penguins of Madagascar]]'' (2008-2015)

*'''Where are we?'''
**Who: [[w:List_of_Madagascar_(franchise)_characters#Alex|Alex]]
**Source: ''All Hail King Julien'' (2014-2017)

===''The Garfield Show''===
*GARFIEEEEEEELLLLLDDD!!!!!!!
**Who: Nermal

===''Marvel Animation Universe''===
*I made the show. Hulk Out. Bam, I said it. Hulk Out.
**Who: A-Bomb
**Source: ''Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.'' (2013-2015)

*So, I guess this is it. But there's no need to get all sappy. I thought once I became the Ultimate Spider-Man, that would mean my work was done. But far from it. This isn't the end, this is only the beginning.
**Who: Spider-Man
**Source: ''[[Ultimate Spider-Man (TV series)|Ultimate Spider-Man]]'' (2012–2017)

===Marvel Cinematic Universe animated shows===
*It is the mission that is important, Kuda, not the story that is told about it. I just wish I could see this future we fought for. Or at least, know how long it will take to come to pass.
**Who: Tafari
**Source: ''[[Eyes of Wakanda]]'' (2025)
*Kamala? Are you good?
**Who: Kate Bishop (illusion)
**Source: ''[[Marvel Zombies (miniseries)|Marvel Zombies]]''
*With some mysteries, sometimes the only answer is another question. You see... Time. Space. Reality. It's more than a linear path. It's a prism of endless possibility, where a single choice can branch off into infinite realities, creating new phenomena beyond what you could possibly imagine. I am Uatu. I see all of these vast new realities. Open your eyes, dare to face the unknown and ponder the question... What if?
**Who: Uatu the Watcher
**Source: ''[[What If...?]]'' (2021-2024)

===''Pandalian''===
*TBA (Coming Soon!)

===''Green Eggs and Ham''===
*'''That's why we should get going!'''
**Who: Sam-I-Am (Season 1)
**Source: ''Green Eggs and Ham'' (2019–2022)

*'''Yes! She loves it! Now that is good news.'''
**Who: Sam-I-Am (Season 2)
**Source: ''Green Eggs and Ham'' (2019–2022)

===''Rugrats''===
*'''Happy Birthday, Kimi!'''
**Who: Chuckie Finster
**Source: ''[[Rugrats]]'' (1991-2004)

*'''&quot;Gotcha&quot;!?'''
**Who: Tommy Pickles
**Source: ''[[All Grown Up!]]'' (2003-2008)

*'''Well look, class! Our friend Mr. Sun has come to say hello! Isn't it wonderful? And we're all back to our happy happy happy selves!'''
**Who: Miss Weemer
**Source: ''Rugrats Pre-School Daze'' (2008)

===''Steven Universe''===
*Yes, please!
**Who: Pearl
**Source: ''[[Steven Universe]]'' (2013-2019)

*Bye!
**Who: Pearl
**Source: ''[[Steven Universe Future]]'' (2019–2020)

===''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles''===
*Except Donatello's cooking.
**Who: [[w:Raphael (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Raphael]]
**Source: ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987 TV series)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' (1987-1996)

*Yeah! Ha-ha-ha!
**Who: [[w:Michelangelo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Michelangelo]]
**Source: ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2003 TV series)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' (2003-2009)

*We are home.
**Who: [[w:Raphael (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Raphael]]
**Source: ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012 TV series)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' (2012-2017)

*Wait, what?
**Who: [[w:Leonardo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Leonardo]]
**Source: ''[[Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' (2018-2020)

===''Tiny Toon Adventures''===
*Season's Greetings!
**Who: [[w:List_of_Tiny_Toon_Adventures_characters#Gogo Dodo|Gogo Dodo]]
**Source: ''[[Tiny Toon Adventures]]'' (1990-1992)

*Parting is such sweet sorrow.
**Who: [[w:List_of_Tiny_Toon_Adventures_characters#Plucky Duck|Plucky Duck]]
**Source: ''[[The Plucky Duck Show]]'' (1992)

*Good! Now I can finally have the non-scary Halloween I wanted. Pumpkin spice latte, anyone?
**Who: [[w:List_of_Tiny_Toon_Adventures_characters#Babs Bunny|Babs Bunny]]
**Source: ''[[Tiny Toons Looniversity]]'' (2023-2025)

===''Total Drama''===
*At least things can only go up from here. [sighs] Of course.
**Who: Dave
**Source: ''[[Total Drama]]'' (2007-2014)

* Yes. Throw all your money on the ground. Very smart. That's all for now, we hope we enjoyed our incredible race around the world. Be sure to keep an eye out for more of ''The Ridonculous Race''.
**Who: Don
**Source: ''[[Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race]]'' (2015)

* Worst ending ever.
**Who: Courtney
**Source: ''[[Total DramaRama]]'' (2018-2022)

===''Transformers''===
*We shall see, Galvatron. We shall see.
**Who: Zarak
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Generation 1|The Transformers]]'' (1984-1987)

*''Who's the smartest shark around?/Who's the coolest shark in town?/Sky-Byte, that's me!'' Ha!
**Who: Sky-Byte
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2001)|Transformers: Robots in Disguise]]'' (2001-2002)

*The war between the Autobots and the Decepticons has come to an end, and without the hatred between the two sides, there was no evil to feed Unicron, and he became powerless. Both Unicron and Megatron scattered into the far reaches of the universe. As for me, my purpose has been served. Cybertron is safe and Transformers live in peace with the Mini-Cons. So the next time you look out into space and see a peaceful star far, far away, it just might be Cybertron. TRANSFORM!
**Who: Optimus Prime
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Armada]]'' (2002-2003)

*Check it out, Ironhide. That's our future out there.
**Who: Kicker Jones
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Energon]]'' (2004-2005)

*Fire up the engines to full throttle! We have a course set to the far reaches of the universe, and it's time to go! Courage, hope for the future, and teamwork—our adventure will continue as long as we remember the words of Primus: 'Til all are one! TRANSFORM!!!
**Who: Optimus Prime and everybody
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Cybertron]]'' (2005-2006)

*That would be the easy way out, Megatron. You don't deserve it.
**Who: Optimus Prime
**Source: ''[[Transformers Animated]]'' (2007-2009)

*Until we meet again, old friend.
**Who: Optimus Prime
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Prime]]'' (2010-2013)

*I want to get a picture of my heroes.
**Who: Chief Charlie Burns
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Rescue Bots]]'' (2011-2016)

*Saved by the howl. Autobots, let's rev up and roll out.
**Who: Bumblebee
**Source: ''[[Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2015)|Transformers: Robots in Disguise]]'' (2015-2017)

===''Unikitty!''===

*Nice job, Bat-team.
**Who: Unikitty (Season 1)
**Source: ''[[Unikitty!]]'' (2017-2020)

*Happens to the festival, Amigo.
**Who: Dunklecorn (Season 2)
**Source: ''[[Unikitty!]]'' (2017-2020)

*Nice.
**Who: One of the Two Astronauts (Season 3)
**Source: ''[[Unikitty!]]'' (2017-2020)

===''[[:Sunny Day (TV series)|Sunny Day]]''===
*But Look How It Ended!
**Who: Sunny (Season 2)
*Bananas!
**Who: Olivia And Doodle (Season 2)
**Source: ''[[:Sunny Day (TV series)|Sunny Day]]''

===''[[Messy Goes To OKIDO]]''===
*Bye Bye!
**Who: Messy Monster (Season 3)
**Source: ''[[Messy Goes To OKIDO]]'' (2015-2023)

===''[[Winx Club]]''===
*'''Listen. Whatever it is you choose to do, I want you to know that you're not alone.'''
**Who: Sky (Cinélume, Season 1)
*'''To next year!'''
**Who: Alfea students (4Kids, Season 1)
**Source: ''Winx Club'' (2003-2019)

*'''Mirta!'''
**Who: Bloom (Cinélume, Season 2)
*'''Wait for us!'''
**Who: Bloom (4Kids, Season 2)
**Source: ''Winx Club'' (2003-2019)

*'''Yes, I think I'm ready. Mom, Dad, I feel like were going to meet very, very soon.'''
**Who: Bloom (Cinélume, Season 3)
*'''I think I'm ready. Mom, Dad, I feel like we're going to meet really soon.'''
**Who: Bloom (4Kids, Season 3)
*'''I ''am'' ready. Mom, Dad, I have a feeling we're going to meet very, very soon.'''
**Who: Bloom (Atlas Oceanic, Season 3)
**Source: ''Winx Club'' (2003-2019)

*'''Your journey on the path of magic also passes through Gardenia. Now off you go, you're on in a minute!'''
**Who: Faragonda (Cinélume, Season 4)
*'''A fairy's magical journey includes all her dreams and passions. Now off you go, show me what you've got, girls!'''
**Who: Faragonda (Atlas Oceanic, Season 4)
**Source: ''Winx Club'' (2003-2019)

*'''Best little sister in the known universe!'''
**Who: Daphne (Season 5)
**Source: ''Winx Club'' (2003-2019)

*'''Thanks, cuz.'''
**Who: Thoren (Season 6)
**Source: ''Winx Club'' (2003-2019)

*'''Even the smallest creature can play a key role in the destiny of all the worlds.'''
**Who: Bloom (Season 7)
**Source: ''Winx Club'' (2003-2019)

*'''Winx forever!'''
**Who: Stella (Season 8)
**Source: ''Winx Club'' (2003-2019)

*'''There is not enough room for fairies and witches on earth!'''
**Who: Baba Yags
**Source: ''[[World of Winx]]'' (2017-2018)
**Note: Was quietly cancelled and ended on a cliffhanger due to most of the crew producing the final season of the main show.

==See also==
* [[First lines in animated TV shows]]

[[Category:Last lines|Animated]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows|*]]</text>
      <sha1>gi7afrwm7d5jnvez68yjecyd2gj7aqx</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>First lines in animated TV shows</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>214081</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944072</id>
      <parentid>3939596</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T22:49:48Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30711-08</username>
        <id>3326788</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944072</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="64951" sha1="g16gjusyk1vm6t2rpyd2ns4vrn2iq46" xml:space="preserve">==Animated TV shows==
* '''What are you gonna do when I'm at game design camp? Die of boredom probably?'''
** Who: Tulip Olsen
** Source: ''[[Infinity Train]]'' (2019–present)
* '''I am so behind on my spring shopping! I do this every year.'''
** Who: Tricia
** Source: ''[[6teen]]'' (2004-2008)
* '''Ooh...those creatures are right.'''
** Who: Hildy Gloom
** Source: ''[[The 7D]]'' (2014-2016)
* '''Watch it! The door sticks a little!'''
** Who: Miranda Hatcher
** Source: ''Abby Hatcher'' (2019–present)
* '''Ah, it's a beautiful night for a stroll, eh, Carl?'''
** Who: Jimmy Neutron
** Source: ''[[The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius]]'' (2002-2006)
* '''Listen up you reptiles! The Koopa family meeting will come to order! So far, I've sent you Koopalings to pull sneaky little tricks, and medium-sized meanness. Now you're ready for the biggest badness of all!'''
** Who: King Koopa
** Source: ''[[The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3]]'' (1990)
* '''Yeah, you think you're pretty way up there but I can get you!'''
** Who: Jake
** Source: ''[[Adventure Time]]'' (2010-2025)
* '''(gasps) We still have 24 hours 'till we go back to school!'''
* '''24 whole hours to fun!'''
** Who: Gumball Watterson and Darwin Watterson
** Source: ''[[The Amazing World of Gumball]]'' (2011-2025)

* '''Shut up, Steve. I have a term paper due.'''
** Who: Hayley Smith
** Source: ''[[American Dad!]]'' (2005-2024)

* '''''JAKE!!!'' Get back to work!'''
** Who: Grandpa Lao Shi
** Note: Heard in the theme song that opens every episode. But, Grandpa Lao Shi is still the first character to speak in the first episode of the show.
* '''This is your territory, young dragon. And you alone are responsible for the magical creatures living within it. From the Centaur herds of High Bridge Park to the floor of the secret Leprechaun's Stock Exchange; From the Gargoyle Nest on top of the Empire State Building to the mermaids of the East River.'''
** Who: Grandpa Lao Shi
** Source: ''[[American Dragon: Jake Long]]'' (2005-2007)

* '''Gentlemen! Vegetables have threatened man for generations. I have obtained funds to solve this vegetable nightmare!'''
** Who: Dr. Weird
** Source: ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' (2000-2025)
* '''Come with me.'''
** Who: [[w:List of Arthur characters#D.W. Read|D.W. Read]]
** Source: ''[[Arthur (TV series)|Arthur]]'' (1996-2022)
* '''He's here!'''
** Who: Rupert Thorne
** Source: ''[[The Batman]]'' (2004-2008)
* '''Whoo-hoo!'''
** Who: Blaze
** Source: ''Blaze and the Monster Machines'' (2014-2025)
* '''This is the day my life went from good to better to best to worst. Confused? You'll understand in a minute. Let's start here. I'm Sharon Spitz, and this is my school. These are my comrades. And there I am.'''
* '''So, anybody get a date for the dance and not tell me?'''
** Who: Sharon Spitz
** Source: ''[[Braceface]]'' (2001-2008)
* '''And if you look out your window, you'll see the Amazon Rainforest. Home to more plants and animals than the rest of the world put together.'''
** Who: Airplane announcer
** Source: ''[[Brandy &amp; Mr. Whiskers]]'' (2004-2008)
* '''Mind if I join?'''
** Who: Lola Bunny
** Source: ''[[Bugs Bunny Builders]]'' (2022-2025)
* '''Listen, pep talk. Big day today. It's our grand re-re-reopening. It's Labor Day weekend, and it looks like Wonder Wharf is getting mobbed, so we have...'''
** Who: Bob Belcher
**Source: ''[[Bob's Burgers]]'' (2011-2025)
* '''I think it bobbed.'''
** Who: [[w:List of Camp Lazlo characters#Chip and Skip|Skip]]
** Source: ''[[Camp Lazlo]]'' (2005-2008)
* '''The war had been raging for as long I could remember. I lost my father to the war. I lost my mother to the war. And this was my only friend left in the world. Chaos, blood shed, and battle was the only life we'd ever known.'''
** Who: Horse
** Source: ''[[Centaurworld]]'' (2021)
* '''What are you doing, Nick?'''
** Who: Sally
** Source: ''The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That!'' (2010-2019)
* '''OUCH! Oh boy.'''
** Who: Joe Tabootie
** Source: ''[[ChalkZone]]'' (2002-2005; 2008)
* '''And that is how I got Liza Minnelli's poop on my shoe.'''
** Who: Peter Griffin
** Source: ''[[The Cleveland Show]]'' (2009–present)
* '''I'll read these books to you when we get home, okay, Corduroy?'''
** Who: Lisa
** Source: ''[[Corduroy (TV series)|Corduroy]]'' (2000-2009)
* '''At last, the moment I've been waiting for! It's absolutely perfect!'''
** Who: Hacker
** Source: ''[[Cyberchase]]'' (2002–2010)
* '''Ah, today's gonna be a good day. Aah! Aahh! Ow! Oof! Oh, great - there goes breakfast. Ow! My foot! Stupid thing! OW! My foot! Stupid thing! See? I learned. Ow! Don't even know why I put that lamp there in the first place. What the heck would you make a swinging lamp for? Makes me want to burn down the 70s. Ow! Oof! Was that an armadillo? I'm gonna laugh when you're roadkill. What the- Not my car! Cactus needles, red dirt, Adobe...''NEEEW MEXICOOOOOOOO!!!''''' ''[show and episode title appear]''
** Who: Dan
** Source: ''[[Dan Vs.]]'' (2011-2013)
* '''So, Danny...You and your little friends want to hunt ghosts?'''
** Who: Jack Fenton
** Source: ''[[Danny Phantom]]'' (2004-2008)
* '''Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town - especially for you, Daria, right?'''
** Who: Jake
** Source: ''[[Daria]]'' (1997-2001)
* '''Dee Dee! Can you please check if your brother is ready for school?'''
** Who: Dexter's Mom
** Source: ''[[Dexter's Laboratory]]'' (1996-2003)
* '''I thought you were gonna wake me at 6:30?'''
* '''I also said women like men who are shaped like potatoes. Can you find a pattern here?'''
** Who: Dilbert and Dogbert
** Source: ''[[Dilbert (TV series)|Dilbert]]'' (1999–2000)
* '''Hi, I'm Dora. What's your name? ''What's'' your name? How old are you? Wow, that's big! Guess what? It's storytime!'''
** Who: Dora Márquez
** Source: ''[[Dora the Explorer]]'' (2000-2019)
* '''Bienvididos, amigos!'''
* '''Bienvididos!'''
* '''Clap with us!'''
** Who: Dora Márquez and friends
** Source: ''[[Dora and Friends: Into the City!]]'' (2014-2017)
** Note: Catchphrase that opens nearly every episode.
* '''Come on, Max. Let's check this out.'''
* '''No way! I don't get it about our new house. That's weak.'''
** Who: Emmy, and Max
** Source: ''[[Dragon Tales]]'' (1999–2005)
* '''&quot;4,800 and 20, 4,800 and 24–ooh, I like what you've done with that tunnel–4,800 and 31, 4,800 and 35, that's everybody. 4,800 and... 37.&quot;'''
** Who: Edd
** Source: ''[[Ed, Edd, n Eddy]]'' (1999–2009)
* '''Imagine Saving The Rainforest Just By Searching The Internet?'''
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[Ecosia]]'' (2009–present)
* '''Mom, Dad, I found cigarettes in Greg's jacket.'''
** Who: Jan Brady
* '''Ugh, smoking? How does a boy like that go so wrong?'''
** Who: Lois Griffin
**Source: ''[[Family Guy]]'' (1999–present)
* '''And lastly, there was a misprint on today's cafeteria menu. &quot;Meat Larf&quot; should read...&quot;Meat ''Lard''.&quot;'''
** Who: Mr. Mufflin
** Source: ''[[Fanboy and Chum Chum]]'' (2009–2014)
* '''Fillmore, I'm on it!'''
** Who: Cornelius Fillmore
** Source: ''[[Fillmore!]]'' (2002-2008)
** Note: Heard in the theme song that opens every episode. But, Cornelius Fillmore is still the first character to speak in the first episode of the show.
* '''The outcome was never in our favor, Gary.'''
** Who: H.U.E.
** Source: ''[[Final Space]]'' (2018-2021)
* '''Smile for the camera.'''
** Who: Yearbook Photographer
** Source: ''[[Fish Hooks]]'' (2010-2019)
* '''Wait, stop! I just wanna punch you!'''
** Who: Terrance
** Source: ''[[Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends]]'' (2004-2008)
* '''Just east of Northwestville and south of Gubai, a town known as Glurfsburg might catch your eye. Our story starts here; who knows what's in store? It begins with a kite, then...SHUT THE FRONT DOOR! That's a ninja! This is Dr. Seuss, so I wasn't expecting a ni - oh, WHY WOULD YOU CUT THE LINE?!?!'''
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''Green Eggs and Ham'' (2019–present)
* '''So, what do you guys wanna show me?'''
** Who: Harvey Beaks
** Source: ''[[Harvey Beaks]]'' (2015-2017)
* '''Once upon a time, there was a glowing city protected by golden gates, known as Heaven. It was ruled by beings of pure light. Angels that worshiped good and shielded all from evil. Lucifer was one of these angels. He was a dreamer with fantastical ideas for all of creation. But, he was seen as a troublemaker by the elders of Heaven. For they felt his way of thinking was dangerous to the order of their world.'''
** Who: Charlie Morningstar
** Source: ''[[Hazbin Hotel]]'' (2024-2025)
* '''Thank you, Gunbarrel City! Goodnight! Guess we can skip the encore.'''
** Who: Ami Onuki
** Source: ''[[Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi]]'' (2004-2008)
* '''Small, get in here!'''
** Who: Coach McGuirk
** Source: ''[[Home Movies (TV series)|Home Movies]]'' (1999–present)
* '''Welcome to Horseland!'''
** Who: Shep
** Source: ''[[w:Horseland (TV Series)|Horseland]]'' (2006-2008)
* '''Welcome, brave Irken soldiers. Welcome to Conventia, the convention hall planet. Please, proceed to the docking ring and take the complimentary teleporters to the planet's surface!'''
** Who: Announcer
** Source: ''[[Invader Zim]]'' (2001-2008)
* '''SQUAWK! SQUAWK! Good morning, birds! SQUAWK! ''[laughs]'' Good morning, ol' rusty sign! Another perfect day in Seaside By the Seashore, my new home!'''
** Who: Arlo Beauregard
** Source: ''[[w:I Heart Arlo|I Heart Arlo]]'' (2021)
* '''My name is Leslie McGroarty. I'm a city girl, and the big city is my home. Most of my boys called me boisterous and hog-wild, that's because I fight these dorks, I played video games, I jammed to my rock music and I can skateboarding. I love to have fun, and I'm having a lot more fun, because I'm a tomboy!'''
** Who: Leslie McGroarty
** Source: ''[[The Itsy Bitsy Spider]]'' (1994–1996)
* '''It was Picture Day at Tarrytown Airport. And Brenda Blue was ready with her camera to make this the best one ever.'''
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[Jay Jay the Jet Plane]]'' (1998-2005)
* '''And here's the news, Porkbelly. Police are still trying to catch the mysterious underground bandits!'''
** Who: Hank
** Source: ''[[Johnny Test]]'' (2005-2008)
* '''You'll never catch me, Team LilyMu!'''
** Who: Gonard
**  Source: ''[[Kappa Mikey]]'' (2006–2008)
* '''Ladies and gentlemen, behold the world's greatest daredevil: Kick Buttowski!''' ''[pause]'' '''Kick! Kick, are you OK?'''
** Who: Gunther Magnuson
** Source: ''[[Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil]]'' (2010-2019)
* '''I'll tell you what my truck needs: Leadership. Detroit hasn't felt any real pride since George Bush went to Japan and vomited on their auto executives.'''
** Who: Hank Hill
** Source: ''[[King of the Hill]]'' (1997-2010)
* '''In an old house in Paris that was covered with vines, lived twelve little girls in two straight lines. They left the house at half past nine, in two straight lines, rain or shine. The smallest one was Madeline.'''
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[Madeline (TV series)|Madeline]]'' (1990-2009)
** Note: Catchphrase that opens every episode of the show.
* '''Do you have everything you need for your first day? Paper, pencils, spark plugs, lemon drops?'''
** Who: Charlene
** Source: ''[[Making Fiends (TV series)|Making Fiends]]'' (2008)
* '''That one looks like a daffodil!'''
** Who: Ketchup
** Source: ''[[Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart]]'' (2019–present)
* '''Come in, Truman.'''
** Who: Helen
** Source: ''[[Martha Speaks (TV series)|Martha Speaks]]'' (2008-2014)
* '''Why is everybody running around like crazy?'''
** Who: Andy
** Source: ''Let's Go Luna'' (2018-2022)
* '''Stupid dog! You made me look bad!'''
** Who: Eustace Bagge
** Note: Heard in the opening credits that opens every episode. But, Eustace is still the first character to speak in the first episode of the show.
** Source: ''[[Courage the Cowardly Dog]]'' (1999–present)
* '''Commander Andru, the Glorft have found us. Perimeter defenses are failing. We're being overrun.'''
** Who: Earth Coaliton Captain
** Source: ''[[Megas XLR]]'' (2004-2008)
* '''We'll get you down, Whiskers.'''
** Who: Firefighter 1
** Source: ''[[Men in Black: The Series]]'' (1997-2008)
** Note Catchphrase that opens every episode except for &quot;Mickey's Great Clubhouse Hunt&quot;. But, Mickey Mouse is still the first character to speak in the first episode of the series.
* '''Welcome to our Clubhouse! Are you ready to play? Swell!'''
** Who: ''[[w:Mickey Mouse (character)|Mickey Mouse]]''
** Source: ''[[Mickey Mouse Clubhouse]]'' (2006-2016)
* '''Good morning Finger! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 100! Honeybee Troop Bessie Higgenbottom! Reporting for duty! Hi mom! Bye mom!'''
** Who: Bessie
** Source: ''[[The Mighty B!]]'' (2008–2011)
* '''Yo, Seismo! Hey man, what you ups to?'''
** Who: Zorch
** Source: ''[[Mixels]]'' (2014-2016)
* '''I'm Mr. Frog. This is my show. I eat the bug. I ate the bug. This is the end. I love you.'''
** Who: Mr. Frog
** Source: ''Smiling Friends'' (2022-2025)
* '''Hey everyone, it's me Molly!'''
** Who: Molly Mabray
** Note: Heard in the theme song that opens every episode. But, Molly is still the first character to speak in the first episode of the show.
* '''Hmm! The poster for our show turned out pretty well, Tooey.'''
** Who: Molly Mabray
** Source: ''[[Molly of Denali]]'' (2019–present)
* '''Well, Professor Knight, how'd I do?'''
** Who: Tylor Tuskmon
** Source: ''[[Monsters at Work]]'' (2021-2025)
* '''Welcome aboard! Hey, come on, I want you to meet the team!'''
** Who: Leo
** Source: ''[[Little Einsteins]]'' (2005-2008)
* '''Another perfect day in my hometown. Population: not very many. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and I'm doing a little sketching under my favorite tree.'''
** Who: Blythe Baxter
** Source: ''[[Littlest Pet Shop (2012 TV series)]]'' (2012-2016)
* '''Special Delivery from the Middlemost Post!'''
** Who: Parker J. Cloud
** Source: ''[[Middlemost Post]]'' (2021-2022)

* '''Okay. So, Cat and I are on a farm.'''
** Who: Peg
** Source: ''Peg + Cat'' (2013-2018)
* '''The school concert is tomorrow, Max. And I get to play, &quot;Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star&quot;!'''
** Who: Ruby
** Source: ''Max &amp; Ruby'' (2003-2008)
* '''Heh-heh-ha-ha-ha! Woo-hoo!!!'''
** Who 1: Norma Khan
* '''Hey!'''
** Who 2: Courtney
** Note: Heard in the theme song that opens every episode, but Norma and Courtney are still the first characters to speak in the first episode of the series.
** Source: ''Dead End: Paranormal Park'' (2022)
* '''Welcome to the City of Frank. 85 trillion cells and still growing, which is getting to be a big problem. Y'see, when a body gets this old and congested, there's a lot more upkeep. And in Frank, everybody's workin' overtime. I should know. The name's Jones. Osmosis Jones. I'm a cop. That's my partner Drix. He's a pill, but he's cool. We got a tip that Scarlet Fever's visiting a chop shop south of the stomach, below the beltway, deep in bowel town. I've been after this bad booty bacteria half my life. He wasn't gettin' away this time.'''
** Who: Osmosis Jones
** Source: ''[[Ozzy &amp; Drix]]'' (2002-2004)
* '''Hey! This is an interactive show. That means you gotta select the correct answers.''' ''[gets a pillar dropped on by Rowdy; weakly]'' '''Enjoy the show...'''
** Who: Peanut
** Source: ''Cat Burglar'' (2022)
* '''Alright, Beef Burrito. I'm gonna give you one more chance to take back what you said about my mom! I'LL ''KILL'' YOU!'''
** Who: Rigby
** Source: ''[[Regular Show]]'' (2010-2019)
* ''[howls]'' '''Rubble on the double! Whee!'''
** Who: Rubble
** Source: ''[[PAW Patrol]]'' (2013-2025)
* '''Hey!'''
** Who: Phineas Flynn
** Note: Heard in the theme song at the start of every episode, but Phineas is still the first character to speak in the series.
* '''So Ferb, what do you wanna do today? What about Perry? What does he wanna do? Well, he is a platypus. They don't do much. I, for one, am starting to get bored. And boredom is something I will not put. The first thing they're gonna ask us when we get back to school is what we did over the summer! I mean, no school for three months; our lives should be a rollercoaster. And I mean a good rollercoaster. Not like the one we rode at the Street Fair. Man, that was lame. Why, if I built a rollercoaster, I would...That's it! I know what we're gonna do today!'''
** Who: Phineas Flynn 
** Note: Official first line of the series
** Source: ''[[Phineas and Ferb]]'' (2007-2009)
* '''What's that all about?'''
** Who: Zack Underwood 
** Source: ''[[Milo Murphy's Law]]'' (2016-2019)
* '''The day I turned 16, I got my driver's license, and suddenly, I was free! I could be out in the open road with nothing but my own dreams to guide me! I could let the wind of adventure blow through my hair as the beckoning horizon pulls me ever onward! But instead, I'm just driving my little sister to and from soccer in my mom's minivan.'''
** Who: Kevin Grant-Gomez
** Source: ''[[Hamster &amp; Gretel]]'' (2022-2025)
* '''Uh, out of my seat, shortstack!'''
** Who: Pierce Pocket
** Source: ''Polly Pocket'' (2019–present)
*'''In the beginning, there was darkness. Then there was... Me! Tater Ramirez Humphrey! Me, a lump of clay. Me, searching for my true self. But soon... I will achieve my final form! But I don't know what it'll be until I'd get a little QUIET!!!'''
** Who: Tater Ramirez Humphrey
** Source: ''[[Primos]]'' (2024-2025)
* '''Okay, new Earth game. I call it: Solar System!'''
** Who: Jet Propulsion
** Source: ''[[Ready Jet Go!]]'' (2016-2019)
* '''Look at you! You are a full-grown cat still watching cartoons! And you are three years old! But don't you know what this was in human years? Listen. I'm your friend. But do you know that cartoons still ruin your mind? Just look what it's done to your brain!'''
** Who: Ren
** Source: ''[[The Ren &amp; Stimpy Show]]'' (1991-1996)
* '''Morty! You gotta come on. Jus'...you gotta come with me.'''
** Who: Rick
** Source: ''[[Rick and Morty]]'' (2013-2025)
* '''Heffer, we're mates, right?'''
** Who: Rocko (production)
** Source: ''[[Rocko's Modern Life]]'' (1993-1996)
* '''I had it with you, you're a useless and pathetic thing like a useless and pathetic thing, this IS the last straw you Good for nothing of rubbish... PREPARE TO FEEL MY WRATH!! That will teach you.'''
** Who: Rocko (broadcast)
** Source: ''[[Rocko's Modern Life]]'' (1993-1996)
* '''Wow, the base is loaded with two outs and Johnny Hitswell is up to bat. We might actually win the game for a change.'''
** Who: Todd Daring
** Source: ''[[The Replacements (TV series)|The Replacements]]'' (2006-2009)
* '''Once again, I am free to smite the world as I did in days long past.'''
** Who: Aku
** Source: ''[[Samurai Jack]]'' (2001-2008)
* '''All right, Yay!'''
** Who: Eric Needles
** Source: ''[[Sidekick (TV series)|Sidekick]]'' (2010-2019)
* '''Ooh, careful, Homer.'''
** Who: Marge Simpson
** Source: ''[[The Simpsons]]'' (1989–present)
* '''School days, school days, teacher's golden ru...'''
** Who: Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick
** Source: ''[[South Park]]'' (1997-2025)
* '''Missing your friends?'''
** Who: James Prescott
** Source: ''Spirit Riding Free'' (2017-2020)
* '''Captain's log, Stardate 57436.2. The Cerritos is docked at Douglas Station for routine maintenance and resupply. We will soon set course for the capital planet of the Galar system, where we're scheduled to make second contact with the Galardonian High Council. First contact is a delicate, high-stakes operation of diplomacy. One must be ready for anything when Humanity is interacting with alien race for the first time. But we don't do that. Our specialty is second contact. Still pretty important. We get all the paperwork signed, make sure we're spelling the name of the planet right, get to know all the good places to eat.'''
** Who: Brad Boimler
** Source: ''[[Star Trek: Lower Decks]]'' (2020-2025)

* '''It's no use Sparkleface. We'll be trapped in the candy dungeon, FOREVER!'''
** Who: Butterbean
** Note: If not counting the character from a TV show inside a TV show, Raven is the first real character to speak.
* '''Don't give up Butterbean. Great! Right in the middle of the best part of Pretty Pretty Pegasus!'''
** Who: Raven
** Source: ''[[Teen Titans Go!]]'' (2013-2025)

* '''Timothy, You have mail.'''
** Who: Timothy's Mom
** Source: ''[[Timothy Goes to School]]'' (2000-2009)

* '''All right, you guys, settle down. With a little luck, they may never find out we're aboard. We can sleep here every night, mingle with passengers during the day. Benny can slip us some food from the dining room. We'll have a ball. Okay, Spook, what was in that suitcase?'''
** Who: Top Cat
** Source: ''[[Top Cat]]'' (1961–1962)

* '''For as long as anyone can remember, the happiest, the sunniest, singingest creatures in all the world were my people, the Trolls.'''
** Who: Queen Poppy
** Source: ''Trolls: The Beat Goes On!'' (2018-2019)

* '''UGH!! I hate red lights! Come on, gotta go, gotta go, gotta go!!'''
** Who: Amethyst Van der Troll
** Source: ''Trollz'' (2005-2007)

* '''Hi Everyone I’m Ninety Want To Join Us With Our Undersea Adventures Sure!'''
** Who: Ninety The Sea Turtle
** Source: ''[[Undersea Adventures]]'' (2018-2022)

* ''[giggles]'' '''Try to catch me!'''
** Who: Demi
** Source: ''[[Vampirina]]'' (2017-2021)

* '''Okay, Vic. I'm glad we see eye to eye on expanding our business. But first, we gotta learn how to make...'''
** Who: Valentino Calavera
** Source: ''[[Victor &amp; Valentino]]'' (2019–present)

* '''Happy Valentines Day, Todd!'''
** Who: Dana
** Source: ''[[Wayside]]'' (2007-2008)

* '''Claire McCallister is about to go on a business trip, and leave a babysitter in charge of her son, the mischievous boy genius, Tobey.'''
** Who: Narrator
** Source: ''[[WordGirl]]'' (2007-2009)


===''DC Animated Universe''===
* '''Now, Isis, my sweet.''' ''[Isis snatches the necklace]'' '''Perfect my love! Let's go home.'''
** Who: Catwoman
** Source: ''[[Batman: The Animated Series]]'' (1992-1995)

* '''Northern Region, Sector 17 Alpha, log date 8313 Omega 3, Jor-El speaking, gathering readings for final subterranean probe.'''
** Who: Jor-El
** Source: ''[[Superman: The Animated Series]]'' (1996–2000)

* '''I'm depressed, Red. Here in this holiday time and we're hiding out in this dingy rattrap. No presents, no fun, no nothing. Can't we at least, get a Christmas tree.'''
** Who: Harleen Quinzel
** Source: ''[[The New Batman Adventures]]'' (1997-1999)

* '''Big news in the financial world today. Once again, Billionaire Bruce Wayne has averted an attempted takeover of his company, by Derek Powers of Powers Technology. Powers vowed that he is not through yet and speculation has seen in stock in both men's companies hit all-time high's. Still no word from the kidnappers of debutante, Bunny Vreeland following a ransom payment five million dollars.'''
** Who: TV Announcer
** Source: ''[[Batman Beyond]]'' (1999–present)

* '''Speed it up! We don't have all night.'''
** Who: Robber 1
** Source: ''[[Static Shock]]'' (2000-2009)

* '''Bennett.'''
** Who: Agent Bennett
** Source: ''The Zeta Project'' (2001-2002)

* '''Would you look at that. A little slice of heaven.'''
** Who: J. Allen Carter
** Source: ''[[Justice League (TV series)|Justice League]]'' (2001-2004)

* '''Everybody down, down!'''
** Who: Robber
** Source: ''[[Justice League Unlimited]]'' (2004-2008)

===''44 Cats''===
* '''Buffycats on a Mission'''
** Who: 44 Cats Narrator
* '''♪ Down In The Cellar of an Old Mansion ♪ ♪ Cats Without parents and their companions ♪ ♪ Met To Improve Their Sad Situation ♪ ♪ And Find a good cause for celebration ♪'''
** Who: Singer
* '''Sorry!'''
** Who: Milady
** Source: ''[[44 Cats]]'' (Season 1)

===''The Fairly OddParents''===
* '''Bed, TWERP!'''
** Who: Vicky 
** Note: Heard in the theme song that opens every episode. But, Vicky is still the first character to speak in the first episode of the show.
* '''Thanks for babysitting tonight, Vicky. Timmy just loves making new friends, don't you Timmy?'''
** Who: Mr. Turner
* '''Ready, Cosmo?'''
** Who: Wanda
**Source: ''[[The Fairly OddParents]]'' (2001-2017)

*'''Clifford, Rhonda, [Luis], Smoothie, and Garfield. Welcome to your new home! I know, you're overwhelmed. We're in a new city, having to make new friends, and our big brother Antony left us for college. Well he's my brother, not yours. But we gotta roll with the punches! Toughen up rocks! Were not little kids anymore, we're 10! Double digits! We can handle this, right? I wish Antony were here to help me unpack. And keep me from talking to a bunch of rocks. 'Tis I, the good rock fairy Rocktilda. Since you are so kind and true of heart and cute and spunky, I've decided to grant you one wish. Thanks Rocktilda! I am pretty great aren't I. I'd like to wish for UNLIMITED WISHES!!! That wasn't the deal! Too late you doink, you've been outsmarted now start granting! Muahaha...'''
** Who: Hazel Wells
**Source: ''[[The Fairly OddParents: A New Wish]]'' (2024-2025)

===''Futurama''===
* '''Space. It seems to go on and on forever. But then you get to the end and the gorilla starts throwing barrels at you.'''
** Who: Fry
** Source: ''[[Futurama]]'' (1999–present) (Fox)

* '''This has been a test of the Emergency Hypnotoad System. Had this been an actual hypnosis, you would go limp and watch whatever crap comes up next. Coming up next, Futurama!'''
** Who: Bender
* '''Professor, my Fry-fro is all frizzy.'''
** Who: Robot Fry
** Source: ''[[Futurama]]'' (1999–present) (Fox)

* '''Professor's lab notes, final entry. Time has been frozen for an unknown length of time. With no time to lose, I began tunneling through time in search of Fry and Leela, only to find them suffering from a case of extreme old. Horrified, I offered to reset the universe to the instant before time stopped. They could be young once more, still grotesquely ugly, but young.'''
** Who: Professor Farnsworth
* '''D-Did someone switch the universe off and on?'''
** Who: Amy Wong
** Source: ''[[Futurama]]'' (1999–present) (Fox)

===''The Owl House''===
* '''Foolish child! I could swallow you whole!'''
** Who: Gildersnake (Season 1A)
* '''And that's the end.'''
** Who: Luz Noceda (Season 1A)
** Source: ''The Owl House'' (2020-2023)

* '''Partake of my free snack samples! Take it! I demand it as your ruler, the King of Demons! Why isn't anyone paying attention to me? I'm their rightful overlord, intellectually and such.'''
** Who: King (Season 1B)
** Source: ''The Owl House'' (2020-2023)

* '''Foolish child! Leave this place before you meet your demise!'''
** Who: Garlog (Season 2A)
** Source: ''The Owl House'' (2020-2023)

* '''¡Hola, Mamá! I know you don’t want me staying in the Demon Realm, but I’m recording this because I think we can find a middle ground. This is a world of magic and beauty, just look.'''
** Who: Luz Noceda (Season 2B)
** Source: ''The Owl House'' (2020-2023)

* '''Luz, I'm so happy I had you as a big sister.'''
** Who: King (Season 3, &quot;Thanks To Them&quot;)
* '''Hey, thanks for not telling them I'm...'''
* '''...a Grimwalker?'''
* '''Don't say it out loud!'''
** Who: Luz Noceda and Hunter (Season 3, &quot;Thanks To Them&quot;)
** Source: ''The Owl House'' (2020-2023)

* '''We gotta stick together!'''
** Who: Luz Noceda (Season 3, &quot;For the Future&quot;)
* '''I'm free! I'm free! Oh, this is the good-est I've felt in forever and ever! It's like the whole world is singing!'''
** Who: The Collector (Season 3, &quot;For the Future&quot;)  
** Source: ''The Owl House'' (2020-2023)

* '''Huh?'''
** Who: The Hexsquad (Season 3, &quot;Watching and Dreaming&quot;) 
** Source: ''The Owl House'' (2020-2023)

===''Bluey''===
* '''Morning, balloons! I mean...morning, last balloon.'''
** Who: Bluey Christine Heeler (Series 1, Part 1)
** Source: ''[[Bluey]]'' (2018-2025)

* '''You ruined our game, Rusty!'''
** Who: Bluey Christine Heeler (Series 1, Part 2)
** Source: ''[[Bluey]]'' (2018-2025)

* '''Excuse me? Yes, over here!'''
** Who: Chilli Heeler (Series 2, Part 1A)
** Source: ''[[Bluey]]'' (2018-2025)

* '''Mum!'''
** Who: Jack Russell (Series 2, Part 1B)
** Source: ''[[Bluey]]'' (2018-2025)

* '''Make sure you eat your pumpkin seeds, Bluey.'''
** Who: Chilli Heeler (Series 2, Part 2)
** Source: ''[[Bluey]]'' (2018-2025)

* '''Okay! Let's make some Father's Day cards for Dad.'''
** Who: Chilli Heeler (Series 3, Part 1)
** Source: ''[[Bluey]]'' (2018-2025)

* '''Dad, we're back!'''
** Who: Bingo Heeler (Series 3, Part 2)
** Source: ''[[Bluey]]'' (2018-2025)

* '''One, two, three, four, five, six! Well done, Kim Jim, you won again.'''
** Who: Bluey Christine Heeler (Series 3, Part 3A)
** Source: ''[[Bluey]]'' (2018-2025)

* '''Let's play &quot;Wild Girls&quot;, Indy!'''
** Who: Coco (Series 3, Part 3B)
** Source: ''[[Bluey]]'' (2018-2025)

===''Big Hero 6''===
* '''Okay, Hiro, I'm going to let you go now. You ready?'''
** Who: Tadashi Hamada (Baymax Returns)
** Note: If not counting the video, Hiro is the first character to speak in the series.
* '''Well, Tadashi, this is it, first day of nerd school. All because of you.'''
** Who: Hiro Hamada (Baymax Returns)

* '''Hello, I am Baymax!'''
** Who: Baymax (intro)
** Note: Heard in the theme song that opens almost every episode of the series.

* '''Mr. Hamada? Mr. Hamada?! Follow please!'''
** Who: Professor Granville (Season 1)

* '''San Fransokyo, greatest city in the world, once threatened by nefarious forces, now a beacon of peace, thanks to the fearless fortitude of Big Hero 6!'''
** Who: Fred Fredrickson (Season 2A)

* '''Uh, what was that?'''
** Who: Fred Fredrickson (Season 2B)

* '''Summer in San Fransokyo. The days are long and the living is-. Easy!'''
** Who: Fred Fredrickson (Season 3)

===''Kiff''===
* '''Heh, heh, heh!'''
** Who: Kiff Chatterley
** Note: Heard at the end of the theme song that opens every episode, but Kiff is still the first character to speak on the show.
* '''First person to climb Mount Table?'''
** Who: Mrs. Deer Teacher
** Source: ''[[Kiff]]'' (2023-2024)

===''Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur''===
* '''The Lower East Side without Bubbe Bina's Knish Niche?! Nuh-uh!'''
** Who: Lunella Lafayette/Moon Girl (Season 1)
** Source: ''Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur'' (2023-2024)

* '''Moon Girl?! Almost didn’t recognize you for the...!'''
** Who: The Beyonder (Season 2A)
** Source: ''Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur'' (2023-2024)
** Note: This is still technically the first line of the season, but technically the first line is from a recap of the last episode of the season by Lunella Lafayette/Moon Girl which is &quot;It'll only work if we're on opposite sides of the portal&quot;.

===''Elliott from Earth''===
* '''I gotta take these upstairs. You okay watching the store for a bit?'''
** Who: Gas station shop owner
** Source: ''[[Elliott from Earth]]'' (2021-2022)

===''The Cuphead Show!''===
* '''Cuphead? Mugman?'''
* '''Yes, Elder Kettle?'''
** Who: Elder Kettle, Cuphead, and Mugman (Part 1)
** Source: ''The Cuphead Show!'' (2022-2023)

* '''We were tricked into breaking into that cookie factory! This is what we get for listening to Ms. Chalice!'''
** Who: Mugman (Part 2)
** Source: ''The Cuphead Show!'' (2022-2023)

* '''...Mugman?'''
** Who: Cuphead (Part 3)
** Source: ''The Cuphead Show!'' (2022-2023)

===''Hilda''===
* '''See that, Twig? It's a troll rock! Trolls don't usually come far down the mountain. I've got to draw this!'''
** Who: Hilda (Season 1)
** Source: ''Hilda'' (2018-2023)

* '''We're coming for you!'''
** Who: Hilda (Season 2)
** Source: ''Hilda'' (2018-2023)

* '''Ah!'''
**Who: Hilda
**Source: ''Hilda and The Mountain King'' (2021)

===''The Proud Family''===
* '''GEYEOUCH!!!'''
** Who: Oscar Proud
** Note: Heard at the end of the theme song that opens every episode.
* '''Alright ladies...and Michael.'''
** Who: Dijonay Jones
** Source: ''[[The Proud Family]]'' (2001-2005)

* '''Wha..? I'm...so...HIP!!! WOO!!!'''
**Who: Penny Proud
**Source: ''The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder'' (2022-2023)

===''Elinor Wonders Why''===
* '''What should we play today at recess?'''
** Who: Olive Elephant (Season 1A)
** Source: ''[[Elinor Wonders Why]]'' (2020-2025)

* '''Olive, look how much our baby plants has grown!'''
** Who: Elinor Rabbit (Season 1B)
** Source: ''[[Elinor Wonders Why]]'' (2020-2025)

===''Fist of the North Star''===
* '''In the year 199X, the world was devastated by a nuclear war. The very Earth had been destroyed beyond repair, but mankind survived.'''
** Who: The Narrator
** Source: ''[[Fist of the North Star]]'' (1984)

===''DuckTales''===
* '''Scrooge McDuck, he had a vault, E-I-E-I-O. And in this vault, he had some dough, E-I-E-I-O. Ah, there's only one thing better than owning a vault full of cold-hard cash, and that's swimming in it! I love to dive around in it like a porpoise, and burrow through it like a gopher and toss it up and let it hit me on the head. Curse me kilts, I'm late!'''
** Who: Scrooge McDuck
** Source: ''[[DuckTales (1987 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (1987-1990)

* '''HEY!!'''
** Who: Sailor (Season 1A)
** Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2020)

* '''Aw, come on, a little lightning never killed anyone.'''
** Who: Launchpad McQuack (Season 1B)
** Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2020)

* '''Dew-dew-dew-dewey dewing it again. We're dewing it again, yeah.'''
** Who: Dewey Duck (Season 2A)
** Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2020)

* '''Dumb earth gravity. Won't...keep...me...from...the kids. Okay, first impression is the only impression. You gotta nail this. Greetings, children! Hellooooo! Oh, hey, didn't see you there. Simple, sincere. It's just the most important moment of your life.'''
** Who: Della Duck (Season 2B)
** Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2020)

* '''Legacy, passing the torch to a new generation. The knowledge of the old mixes with the discoveries of the new into that flavorful gumbo called tomorrow. You are that gumbo!'''
** Who: Launchpad McQuack (Season 3A)
** Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2020)

* '''F.O.W.L., the Fiendish Organization for World Larceny, is back. Long thought to have been eliminated by agents of S.H.U.S.H., they've risen again, led by a devious traitor.'''
** Who: Bentina Beakley (Season 3B)
** Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2020)

===''My Little Pony''===
====''My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic''====
* '''Once upon a time, in a magical land of Equestria...There were two regal sisters who ruled together and created harmony for all the land. To do this, the eldest used her unicorn powers to raise the sun at dawn. The younger brought out the moon to begin the night. Thus, the two sisters maintained balance for their kingdom and their subjects: All the different types of ponies. But as time went on, the younger sister became resentful. The ponies relished and played in the day her elder sister brought forth, but shunned and slept through her beautiful night. One fateful day, the younger unicorn refused to lower the moon to make way for the dawn. The elder sister tried to reason with her, but the bitterness in the young one's heart had transformed her into a wicked mare of darkness: Nightmare Moon. She vowed that she would shroud the land in eternal night. Reluctantly, the elder sister harnessed the most powerful magic known to ponydom: The Elements of Harmony! Using the magic of the Elements of Harmony, she defeated her younger sister and banished her permanently in the moon. The elder sister took on responsibility for...'''
* '''...both sun and moon...'''
* '''...and harmony has been maintained in Equestria for generations since. Hmm...Elements of Harmony. I know I've heard of those before...but where?'''
** Who: Narrator and Twilight Sparkle (Season 1)
** Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

* '''I want to start our field trip here, in the world-famous Canterlot Sculpture Garden.'''
** Who: Cheerilee (Season 2)
** Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

* '''News from northern Equestria! Uh...Your Highness.'''
** Who: A Guard (Season 3)
** Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

* '''You gotta really flap 'em hard!'''
** Who: Rainbow Dash (Season 4)
** Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

* '''Let's go through this one more time.'''
** Who: Twilight Sparkle (Season 5A)
** Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

* '''Was that the pony post?'''
** Who: Rarity (Season 5B)
** Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

* '''Okay. Library, library...where did they put the library?'''
** Who: Starlight Glimmer (Season 6A)
** Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

* '''Well, don't stop there! You read, I pack. That’s the deal.'''
** Who: Rainbow Dash (Season 6B)
** Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

* '''Hey, Spike. What's up?'''
** Who: Starlight Glimmer (Season 7A)
** Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

* '''Care for a carrot-ginger sandwich?'''
** Who: Fluttershy (Season 7B)
** Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

* '''This happened while we were gone?'''
** Who: Twilight Sparkle (Season 8A)
** Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

* '''Who can tell me what these are?'''
** Who: Twilight Sparkle (Season 8B)
** Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

* '''Oh, good. We're all here.'''
** Who: Fluttershy (Season 9A)
** Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

* '''I thought Pinkie Pie said to get here right away.'''
** Who: Rainbow Dash (Season 9B)
** Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019)

====Misc.====
* '''I've always loved you but...''YOU'VE RUINED ME!!!'''''
** Who: Rarity
** Source: ''My Little Pony: Pony Life'' (2020-2025)

===''Work It Out Wombats!''===
* '''Solve the little jobs one by one and you'll get the big one done! Better check the old to-do list! Done and done. Just one more to-do left to do. But first, better make sure my little Wombats are up!'''
** Who: Grandma Super
** Source: ''Work It Out Wombats'' (2023-2024)

===''Gravity Falls''===
* '''Ah, summer break. A time of leisure, recreation, and taking 'er easy. Unless you're me. My name is Dipper. The girl about to puke is my sister Mabel. You may be wondering what we're doing in a golf cart fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror. Rest assured, there's a perfectly logical explanation.'''
** Who: Dipper Pines (Season 1A)

* '''Ladies and gentlemen, we now return to Cash Wheel! Sponsored by Chip-ackers: The chip-flavored crackers.'''
** Who: TV Announcer (Season 1B)

* '''Thirty long years and it's all lead up to this, my greatest achievement!'''
** Who: Stanley Pines (Season 2A)

* '''Wait up!'''
* '''Yeah, you should keep up!'''
** Who: Young Stanley and Stanford Pines (Season 2B)
** Source: ''[[Gravity Falls]]'' (2012-2016)

* '''Oh, Gravity Falls, it is good to be back!'''
** Bill Cipher

===''The Garfield Show''===
*'''Be careful Jennifer, the unspeakable horrors nearby, it could be anywhere, anywhere at all… You never know what an unspeakable horror will just walk in the door…'''
** Who: Man on TV

===''Animaniacs''===
* '''Newsreel of the Stars. Dateline: Hollywood, 1930, the Warner Bros. Studio, home of the biggest stars in Tinsel Town. Here at the studio's new animation department, the artists toil endlessly to come up with cartoon stars, ultimately creating three new characters - the Warner Brothers and their sister, Dot.'''
** Who: Narrator
* '''Helloooo Nurse!'''
** Who: Yakko, Wakko, and Dot
** Source: ''[[Animaniacs]]'' (1993-1998)

* '''Alan, this species of cartoon has been extinct since 1993. I mean, these haven't been seen on TV since the golden era of animation! What?'''
** Who: Dr. Ellie Sattler (Season 1)
** Source: ''[[Animaniacs (2020 TV series)|Animaniacs]]'' (2020-2025)

* '''T-togas!'''
** Who: Yakko Warner (Season 2)
** Source: ''[[Animaniacs (2020 TV series)|Animaniacs]]'' (2020-2025)

* '''Hey, sibs! Remember when we had our DNA tested?'''
** Who: Yakko Warner (Season 3)
** Source: ''[[Animaniacs (2020 TV series)|Animaniacs]]'' (2020-2025)

===''Star vs. the Forces of Evil''===
* ''[narration]'' '''Far, far away, on a magical land called Mewni lived a princess, Star Butterfly.''' ''[spoken]'' '''RAIL SLIDE!!!!''' ''[narration]'' '''Some people have called me reckless and irresponsible just because, I fight monsters and tame wild unicorns. I like to have a lot of fun and I'm about have a whole lot more because today is my 14th birthday, and according to tradition, my mom the queen has to bestow upon me our greatest family heirloom: the royal magic wand!'''
** Who: Star Butterfly (Season 1)
** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019)

* '''Guess who? It's me, Star! I have some exciting news for you. Well first, Marco got kidnapped, and I had to blow up a bunch of stuff including my wand, and I was super bummed, because I thought was never gonna get to do magic again, but then I got my new wan.. My new wand! Oh yeah, and Marco's okay. Say hi, Marco!'''
** Who: Star Butterfly (Season 2A)
** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019)

* '''You know what, Jackie, can I call you back? Look Star, this is a stressful situation I get that, but would it kill you to slow down for a second? You're kind of going overboard. I mean, do you really have to pack this vintage laptop and this purple-y bubbly tea thingy? Why don't you try some breathing exercises?'''
** Who: Marco Diaz (Season 2B)
** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019)

* '''Did you hear that?'''
** Who: Angie Diaz (Season 3A)
** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019)

* '''Mama, I need to talk to you! I can't believe it!'''
** Who: Star Butterfly (Season 3B)
** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019)

* '''Oh! Not bad, me!'''
** Who: Star Butterfly (Season 4A)
** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019)

* '''Whatcha lookin' at over there?'''
** Who: Marco Diaz (Season 4B)
** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019)

===''Big City Greens''===
* '''HAHAHAHAHHHHHH!!! Oh, hi there! We're your new neighbors. My name's Cricket. Cricket Green. Hey, where ya goin'? Oh, okay, you're busy that's fine. Well stop by anytime!'''
** Who: Cricket Green (Season 1A)
** Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-2025)
** Note: Quote was from &quot;Space Chicken&quot;, which is technically the second episode chronologically but the first produced as a pilot. The &quot;official&quot; first line was, &quot;Movin' to Gramma's house, oh, we're movin' to Gramma's house, oh, we're movin' to Gramma's houuuuuuuse!&quot;

* '''And a one, and a two, and a JUMP!'''
** Who: Tilly Green (Season 1B)
** Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-2025)

* '''&quot;No trespassing&quot;, huh? Well Nancy Green ain't trespassin', she's liberatin'.'''
** Who: Nancy Green (Season 1C)
** Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-2025)
** Note: Quote from &quot;Uncaged&quot;, which is the actual mid-season premiere. But, if you count &quot;Harvest Dinner&quot; as the mid-season premiere then the first line would be &quot;I'm not one to boast, but gosh darn it, you done good, Bill Green.&quot; by Bill Green.

* '''Look alive, Cricket. The boss Ms. Cho will be here any minute.'''
** Who: Gloria Sato (Season 2A part 1)
** Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-2025)

* '''Nothing like an exciting day of window shopping, huh kids?'''
** Who: Bill Green (Season 2A part 2)
** Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-2025)

* '''Upsy daisy, Gramma! C'mon, family! Follow the sound of my voice!'''
** Who: Cricket Green (Season 2B)
** Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-2025)

* '''Oh, this is awful!'''
* '''You wouldn't believe it!'''
* '''It's terrible!'''
* '''What are we gonna do?!'''
** Who: The Green Family (Season 2C part 1)
** Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-2025)
** Note: Quote from &quot;Chipocalypse Now&quot; which is the actual mid-season premiere. But if you count &quot;Rent Control&quot; as the mid-season premiere, then the first line would be &quot;Oh, Gloria, how did it come to this? First, Big Coffee gets shut down and I lose my job. But then I get a job at Wholesome Foods! Cool, right? Wrong! I have to go and sacrifice it to help the Greens save their house, which I am now living in, because I can't pay for my apartment, BECAUSE I HAVE NO JOB!!!!!!!!!&quot; by Gloria Sato.

* '''All right, from the top!'''
** Who: Community Sue (Season 2C part 2)
** Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-2025)

* '''How we doin' on untangling those lights, ladies?'''
** Who: Bill Green (Season 3A part 1)
** Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-2025)
** Note: Although it's not really the first line in Season 3. The season premiere was supposed to be &quot;Boss Life&quot;. That means the first line in Season 3 was supposed to be &quot;Comin' right up!&quot; by Cricket Green.

* '''Order of quiet...''' ''[muffled]''  '''...and I said, no, no.'''
** Who: Cricket Green (Season 3A part 2)
** Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-2025)

* '''Hey everyone, did you hear the news?!'''
** Who: Benny (Season 3B part 1)
** Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-2025)
** Note: Quote from &quot;The Move&quot; which is the actual mid-season premiere. But, if you count &quot;Country Side&quot; as the mid-season premiere, then the first line would be &quot;Remember when I let all the animals into the cafe?!&quot; by Cricket Green.

* '''My dearest Andromeda: Hi! This is your old pal, Tilly, reportin' in from the country. It's my first week here, and the weather is lovely. You can even see the whole galaxy at night! Trust me when I say it is ''beautiful!'' I miss you soooooooooOOOOOOOO much! And that is with seventeen O's, which you know I do NOT use lightly. I've been feelin' a bit lonely without ya, and unsure what to do about it. So this mornin', I decided to head to the woods to get some friendly advice. Ya see, here in the country, the woods are full of wise creatures. But for this problem, I needed advice from the wisest creature of them all.'''
** Who: Tilly Green (Season 3B part 2)

* '''It was the citiest of times, it was the country-est of times. Ever since Mama moved to the country, life has never been better for the Green family. Mama spends her days farming crops in Smalton, and Papa sells those crops at our stand in the city.'''
** Who: Tilly Green (Season 4A part 1)
** Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-2025)

* '''Ice cream! Ice cream! Ice cream!'''
** Who: Cricket Green, Tilly Green, Remy Remington, and Andromeda (Season 4A part 2)
** Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-2025)

* '''Wowee... the Smalton Fair! An ode to the ballyhoo of yesteryear.'''
** Who: Tilly Green (Season 4B part 1)
** Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-2025)

* '''Yup, today's the day. FAMILY, I'M DYIN'!'''
** Who: Alice Green (Season 4B part 2)
** Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-2025)

* '''Stay alert, crew.'''
** Who: Boat captain (Season 4C part 1)
** Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-2025)

===''Amphibia''===
* '''Good night, you frogs! See you in the 'morrow! Oi!'''
** Who: Walliam Ribbiton aka One-Eyed Wally (Season 1A)
** Source: ''[[Amphibia (TV Series)|Amphibia]]'' (2019–present)

* '''Iced flies! Get your iced flies here!'''
** Who: Unknown Frog (Season 1B)
** Source: ''[[Amphibia (TV Series)|Amphibia]]'' (2019–present)

* '''Help, it's been three months. Still up here.'''
** Who: Unknown Frog (Season 2A)
** Source: ''[[Amphibia (TV Series)|Amphibia]]'' (2019–present)
** Note: Although &quot;Handy Anne&quot; is the season premiere, it could also be the second episode of the season if the first one was &quot;The Shut In&quot;, even though it's a non-canon. If the Halloween episode was the season premiere, then the first line of the season would be &quot;Happy Shut In!&quot; by an unknown frog.

* '''All right, Polly, check this out! According to this map, if we drive straight through the night, we'll be home by morning!'''
** Who: Sprig Plantar (Season 2B)
** Source: ''[[Amphibia (TV Series)|Amphibia]]'' (2019–present)

* '''What the...?!'''
* '''Aah! What is that thing?!'''
* '''What is that thing?!'''
** Who: The Plantar Family (Season 3A)
** Source: ''[[Amphibia (TV Series)|Amphibia]]'' (2019–present)

* '''Okay, this is getting hard to ignore, X. What do you know about these amphibious extraterrestrials?'''
** Who: FBI Chief (Season 3B)
** Source: ''[[Amphibia (TV Series)|Amphibia]]'' (2019–present)
** Note: Although, this is not really the first line of Season 3B. The mid-season premiere was supposed to be &quot;Commander Anne&quot;. That means the first line of Season 3B was supposed to be &quot;What happened to this place?!&quot;.


===''Soul Eater''===
* '''A sound soul, dwells within a sound of mind and a sound body.'''
** Who: Maka Albarn
** Note: Used in every episode except the final episode of the series.

===''SpongeBob SquarePants''===
* '''Ah, the sea...so fascinating. So wonderful. Here we see Bikini Bottom teeming with life. Home of one of my favorite creatures, SpongeBob SquarePants. Yes, of course he lives in a pineapple, you silly.'''
** Who: French Narrator (season 1) (broadcast and production)
** Note: Although, if not counting the French Narrator, SpongeBob is the first character to speak.

* '''Today's the big day, Gary!''' [Gary: Meow] '''Look at me, I'm NAKED!!!!!''' ''[puts on his pants]'' '''I gotta be in top physical condition for today, Gary.''' [Gary: Meow.]
** Who: ''SpongeBob SquarePants'' (season 1)

* [Gary: Meow.] ''[shocked]'' Gary! ''[quickly changes to the football game on the TV]'' '''I was just looking for the sports channel, Gary.''' ''[nervous laugh; hears a knock on the door]'' '''Come in!'''
** Who: ''SpongeBob SquarePants'' (season 2) (production)

* '''Wow, it's Sunday! Guess what's for breakfast!''' [Gary: Meow?] '''That's right! A sundae!'''
** Who: ''SpongeBob SquarePants'' (season 2) (broadcast)

* ''[in a bored tone]'' '''Here you go, sir. A King-Size Ultra Krabby Supreme with the works, double batter fried on a stick.'''
** Who: Squidward Tentacles (season 3) (production)

* '''Excuse me, miss?'''
** Who: SpongeBob SquarePants (season 3) (broadcast)

* '''Finished at last! What do you boys think of me new masterpiece?'''
** Who: Mr. Krabs (season 4)

* '''We take you now to Encino, California, where we find the President of the SpongeBob SquarePants fan club...flipping burgers?!'''
** Who: French Narrator (season 5) (production and broadcast)
* '''Oooooooooooooooooooooooo-oioooooooh-woh-wooooh, how much chum could a sea slug chug if a sea slug could chug... ''[gasps, grabs the phone]'' '''Mr. Krabs, you gotta get out of here! It's a code blue situation!'''
** Who: SpongeBob SquarePants (season 6) (production)
* '''Hello, and welcome one and all, to a super special episode of House Fancy. I'm your host, Nicholas Withers. Our first, very special guest on today's show will be none other than...'''
** Who: Nicholas Withers (season 6) (broadcast)

* '''All of the most intelligent programming starts before 5 AM.'''
** Who: Squidward Tentacles (season 7) (production)

* '''The coast looks clear.'''
** Who: Squidward Tentacles (season 7) (broadcast)

* '''Hmmm. Sounds like a mutiny. What the...?  What in Neptune's knickers is this?!'''
** Who: Mr. Krabs (season 8) (production)

* '''Patrick! Tee time, Patrick! Patrick!''' ''[cuts to Squidward]'' '''Tee time, Patrick!''' ''[cuts to Patrick's house]'' '''Patrick! Wake up!'''
** Who: SpongeBob SquarePants (season 8) (broadcast)

* '''A little more sand. Pat, Pat, Pat. Pat, Pat, Patrick! Check it out. An exact replica of the Krusty Krab. One sandy patty. Extra grit.'''
** Who: SpongeBob SquarePants (season 9A) (production and broadcast)

* '''Well Squiddy, 20 minutes of a bath is probably enough. Ah, another day, another day.'''
** Who: Squidward Tentacles (season 9B) (production)
** Note: Although it's still technically the mid-season premiere of season 9, its sister episode aired before that.

* '''And how is everything for you today, sir?'''
** Who: Mr. Krabs (season 9B) (broadcast)

* '''Your turn.'''
** Who: SpongeBob SquarePants (season 10) (production and broadcast)

* '''Ooh, this grass feels great between my toes. Hey, Patrick, are you enjoying our early morning nature hike?'''
** Who: SpongeBob SquarePants (season 11) (production)

* '''Spot? Spot? Spot? Where are you, Spot? Oh, there you are, boy! Come to me. Jump in my arms and give me your precious kisses. Good amoeba. You get a num-num.'''
** Who: Sheldon J. Plankton (season 11) (broadcast)

* '''SpongeBob!'''
** Who: Mr. Krabs (season 12) (production and broadcast)

* '''Order for-'''
** Who: Squidward Tentacles (season 13) (production and broadcast)

* '''Alright Karen, I'm off to go Shopping.'''
** Who: Sheldon J. Plankton (season 14) (production and broadcast)
*'''Nice flipping today, Spatty. Great grill work,  Grilly. And we couldn't have done it without you, Flamey. See you tomorrow!  Gallopin' garbage!'''
** Who: SpongeBob SquarePants (season 15) (production and broadcast)
*'''Nothing beats a cool drink on a lazy river, eh, Patrick?'''
** Who: SpongeBob SquarePants (season 16) (broadcast)
*'''Well, I'm off to work, Barry.'''
** Who: SpongeTom (season 16) (production)
** Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present)
* '''First catch!'''
** Who: &quot;First Catch&quot; sign
** Note: SpongeBob is still technically the first character to speak.

* '''Huh?''' ''[sighs]'' '''That dream again. That jelly-riffic dream. Well, today's the day I'm gonna make my dream come true.'''
** Who: Young SpongeBob SquarePants (season 1)
** Source: ''[[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years]]'' (2021-2024)

* '''Steady... Almost...''' 
** Who: Sheldon Plankton (season 2)
** Source: ''[[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years]]'' (2021-2024)
* '''The best way out of bed, is an urchin on your head.'''
** Who: Patrick Star (season 1)
** Source: ''[[The Patrick Star Show]]'' (2021-2025)

* '''Perch Perkins here live at the premiere of The Patrick Show season 2, let's take a look!'''
** Who: Perch Perkins (season 2)
** Source ''[[The Patrick Star Show]]'' (2021-2025)
* '''Happy birthday, Patrick!'''
** Who: Squidina, Cecil and Bunny Star (season 3)
** Source ''[[The Patrick Star Show]]'' (2021-2025)
* '''The Patrick Star Show is filmed before a live studio audience.'''
** Who: Narrator (season 4)
** Source ''[[The Patrick Star Show]]'' (2021-2025)

===''Steven Universe''===
* '''NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! This can't be happening! This has to be a dream! Lars! Lars! Please tell me I'm dreaming!'''
** Who: Steven Universe
** Source: ''[[Steven Universe]]'' (2013-2019)

* '''Mwah!'''
** Who: Steven Universe
** Source: ''[[Steven Universe Future]]'' (2019–present)

===''[[Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure]]''===
* '''Boo!'''
** Who: [[w:Rapunzel (Disney character)|Rapunzel]] (Season 1A)
** Source: ''[[Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure]]'' (2017-2020)

* '''Okay, boys. Let's get to work.'''
** Who: King Frederic (Season 1B)
** Source: ''[[Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure]]'' (2017-2020)

* '''He went this way!'''
** Who: Corona Guards (Season 1C)
** Source: ''[[Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure]]'' (2017-2020)

* '''Oh. Oh! Excuse me!'''
** Who: [[w:Rapunzel (Disney character)|Rapunzel]] (Season 1D)
** Source: ''[[Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure]]'' (2017-2020)

* '''I can't stand this anymore. This stone has destroyed too many lives! It stops today!'''
** Who: King Edmund (Season 2A)
** Source: ''[[Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure]]'' (2017-2020)

* '''Come on.'''
** Who: Lance Strongbow (Season 2B)
** Source: ''[[Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure]]'' (2017-2020)

* '''Cassandra Cassandra. Cassandra. There you are, Cassandra. I'd nearly given up on you.'''
** Who: Lance Strongbow (Season 3A)
** Source: ''[[Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure]]'' (2017-2020)

* '''Your Highness, here's the manifest from Neserdnia's latest shipment of goods.'''
** Who: Corona Guards (Season 3B)
** Source: ''[[Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure]]'' (2017-2020)

===''The Ghost and Molly McGee''===
* '''Your performance...is disappointing.'''
** Who: Ghost Council member (Season 1A)
** Source: ''[[The Ghost and Molly McGee]]'' (2021-2024)

* '''I can't wait for the Global Games. They enhappify the whole world all at once!'''
** Who: Molly McGee (Season 1B part 1)
** Source: ''[[The Ghost and Molly McGee]]'' (2021-2024)

* '''Brighton...A place where dreams are born and turnips are grown. We may be a small town...but we've got an enlarged heart. And I'm proud to call this my forever home. My dream is to enhappify Brighton. And then to get the word enhappify in the dictionary. So choose me, Molly McGee, as Brighton's Mayor for a Day!'''
** Who: Molly McGee (Season 1B part 2)
** Source: ''[[The Ghost and Molly McGee]]'' (2021-2024)

* '''Check my chops on this fill! It's called freestyle music, and I'm exploding it!'''
** Who: Scratch (Season 2A)
** Source: ''[[The Ghost and Molly McGee]]'' (2021-2024)

===''The Loud House''===
* '''Do you believe in ghosts? Join me, Hunter Spector, spectre hunter, leader of the Academy of Really Good Ghost Hunters, or ARGGH! As I descend into the scariest place in any home, the basement! Sunday night at 8 PM! Don't miss it, or you'll be left in the dark! ARGGH!'''
** Who: Hunter Spector (Season 1, production and broadcast)
** Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-2024)

* '''It's the day before Christmas and there's no better time to be in the Loud House.'''
** Who: Lincoln Loud (Season 2, production)
** Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-2024)

* '''Today is the Fifth Grade Internship Fair and Clyde and I are making sure to put our best foot forward. 'Cause there's only one place we wanna work...
* '''Flip's Food &amp; Fuel!'''
** Who: Lincoln Loud and Clyde McBride (Season 2, broadcast)
** Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-2024)

* '''1,797, 1,798, 1,799...1800!'''
** Who: Loud family (Season 3, production)
** Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-2024)

* '''Yo, Chunk! Right on time, dude!'''
** Who: Luna Loud (Season 3, broadcast)
** Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-2024)

* '''Gah! Lalo, what the heck, dude?'''
** Who: Ronnie Anne Santiago (Season 4, production and broadcast)
** Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-2024)

* '''Wear lucky underwear. Check. Wear new jeans. Check. Put on best polo. Check. Things are pretty crazy around the Loud House this morning.'''
** Who: Lincoln Loud (Season 5, production and broadcast)
** Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-2024)

* '''There's no escape, Agent Steele! Going somewhere?'''
** Who: MALICE Agent (Season 6, production)
** Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-2024)

* '''That looks delicious!'''
** Who: Zach Gurdle (Season 6, broadcast)
** Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-2024)

* '''A little more to your left. Okay, hold out your right arm. Bend it 55 degrees now. Lift the satellite a little higher. Now, right leg up. We got it!'''
** Who: Lisa Loud (Season 7, production and broadcast)
** Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-2024)

* '''A little higher on the right. Little higher. Now a little lower. A little lower. It has to be perfect for Lori!'''
** Who: Lynn Loud Sr. (Season 8, production and broadcast)
** Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-2024)

===''The Casagrandes''===
* '''Dah!'''
** Who: Carlos Casagrande (Season 1)
** Source: ''[[The Casagrandes]]'' (2019–present)

* '''I've got you now Bird-brain. There's nowhere for you to hide.'''
** Who: La Cobra (Season 2)
** Source: ''[[The Casagrandes]]'' (2019–present)

* '''Gatos! Gatos! Gatos! Gatos!'''
** Who: Ronnie Anne Santiago, Sergio, and Carlos Casagrande Jr. (Season 3)
** Source: ''[[The Casagrandes]]'' (2019–present)

===''Thomas and Friends''===
* '''Thomas is a tank engine who lives at the big station on the Island of Sodor. He's a cheeky little engine with six small wheels, a short stumpy funnel, a short stumpy boiler, and a short stumpy dome.'''
** Who: Narrator
** Note: If not counting the narrator, Thomas is the first character to speak.
* '''Wake up, Lazybones! Why can't you work hard like me?'''
** Who: Thomas
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends]]'' (1984–2021)

* '''Whoa...! And just one more track and I'll beat my &quot;Stack the Tracks&quot; record!'''
** Who: Thomas
** Source: ''[[Thomas and Friends: All Engines Go]]'' (2021-2025)

===''Total Drama''===
* '''Yo! We're coming at you live from Camp Wawanakwa, somewhere in Muskoka, Ontario. I'm your host, Chris McLean. Dropping season one of the hottest new reality show on television, right now!''' ''[moves to Dock of Shame]'' '''Here's the deal, twenty-two campers have signed up to spend eight weeks right here at this crummy old summer camp. They'll compete in challenges against each other, then have to face the judgment of their fellow campers. Every three days, one team will either win a reward, or watch one of their team members walk down the Dock of Shame. Take a ride on the loser boat, ha ha, and leave Total Drama Island, for good.''' ''[moves to campfire pit]'' '''Their fate will be decided here, at the dramatic campfire ceremonies where each week, all, but one camper will receive...a marshmallow.''' ''[takes a bite of one marshmallow]'' '''In the end, only one will be left standing and will be rewarded with cheesy tabloid fame and a small fortune, which let's face it: they'll probably blow in a week. To survive, they'll have to battle... Black flies,''' ''[flies buzzing]'' '''Grizzly bears,''' ''[grizzly bear roars]'' '''Disgusting camp food... and each other. Every moment, we'll be caught on one of the hundreds of cameras situated all over the camp. Who will crumble under the pressure? Find out here, right now on Total Drama Island!''' 
**Who: Chris
**Source: ''[[Total Drama]]'' (2007-2014)

* '''This is Toronto, the capital of North America, birthplace of funk where the Albino panther roams free. Beneath my size-13 brogues, 18 teams are arriving at this historic train station ready to embark on a race around the world. I'm your host, Don. And this is ''The Ridonculous Race''!'''
**Who: Don
**Source: ''[[Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race]]'' (2015)

* '''Guys! Guys! Guys? Guess what?!'''
**Who: Owen
**Source: ''[[Total DramaRama]]'' (2018-2025)

=== ''[[Winx Club]]'' ===
* '''Wake up, sleepy head! The sun's been up for ages!'''
** Who: Vanessa (Season 1, Cinélume version)
* '''Bloom, say hello to your mother for me.'''
** Who: Mister Genaro (Season 1, 4Kids version)

* '''No time. I'll be found out any second now.'''
** Who: Aisha/Layla (Season 2, Cinélume version)
* '''Summer was over and it was my first day back at Alfea. I was officially a sophomore!'''
** Who: Bloom (Season 2, 4Kids version)

* '''I'll take this one to Mom's, that one to Dad's, no, wait! I need the blue top for Mom's picnic. But then I should have the red dress for Dad's royal parade.'''
** Who: Stella (Season 3, Cinélume version)
* '''I'll bring this dress to Mom's for her garden tea and, let's see...hmmm, these to Dad's for the royal parade. Boy, packing for vacation when your parents are separated is way complicated. Do you think the garden tea dress should go to Dad's for open palace day?'''
** Who: Stella (Season 3, 4Kids version)
* '''I'll take this blouse to Mom's and that dress to Dad's. No, wait! I need the blue top for Mom's picnic. Oh, but then I'll need the red dress for Dad's royal parade.'''
** Who: Stella (Season 3, Atlas Oceanic version)

* '''Ah, a new year has started at Alfea.'''
** Who: Bloom (Season 4, Cinélume version)
* '''I can't believe we're back at Alfea!'''
** Who: Bloom (Season 4, Nickelodeon version)

* '''Whoo-hoo! Hello, Gardenia!'''
** Who: Bloom (Season 5)

* '''Come on, you two!'''
** Who: Icy (Season 6)

* '''Last stop, Alfea! Here we are!'''
** Who: Stella (Season 7)

* '''Look at that!'''
** Who: Kelli (Season 8)
** Source: ''[[Winx Club]]'' (2003-2021)

* '''My dear Pixieville Pixies, welcome to the celebration! Once again the protection spell will defend us from all outside dangers throughout the year! At this time we'd like to celebrate The Tree of Life! Let's all give thanks to it! An energy flows inside the tree and a sparkle of that power shines in each of its MagicPops! This year more pixies will earn their MagicPop by discovering their talent and using it for good. Caramel, Martino and Amore were the last Pixies to earn a MagicPop!'''
** Who: Ninfea
** Source: ''PopPixie'' (2011)

* '''No sign of suspect in sector one.'''
** Who: Bloom
** Source: World of Winx (2016-2017)

==See also==
* [[Last lines in animated TV shows]]

[[Category:First lines|Animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows|*]]</text>
      <sha1>g16gjusyk1vm6t2rpyd2ns4vrn2iq46</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Kazi Nazrul Islam</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>216269</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944119</id>
      <parentid>3943784</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T05:20:13Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30428-40</username>
        <id>3326945</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Quotes */</comment>
      <origin>3944119</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="13434" sha1="5j7neuq1y464bz6ygcguece4p63yrex" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Nazrul.jpg|thumb|Let's forget [[today]] who is [[friend]] or [[foe]], &lt;br /&gt; and hold each other in caring embrace. &lt;br /&gt; Let your [[love]] be the magnet &lt;br /&gt;to bring the [[humanity]] to [[Allah]]'s [[grace]].]]
'''[[w:Kazi Nazrul Islam|Kazi Nazrul Islam]]''' [Bengali: কাজী নজরুল ইসলাম, pronounced [kazi nozrul islam] ([[25 May]] [[1899]] – [[29 August]] [[1976]]) was a [[Bengali]] [[poet]], [[writer]], [[musician]], anti-colonial revolutionary and the national poet of [[Bangladesh]]. Popularly known as '''Nazrul''', he produced a large body of poetry and music with themes that included religious devotion and rebellion against oppression.

== Quotes ==
* Lifetimes have passed, eyes fixed upon the path of hope,
:A desert traveler I roam, with no end—no end in sight.
:Year after year returns and fades away,
:I quench my thirst only with the salt of my own tears.
:​Kindling the deceptive ignis fatuus, the mirage of despair,
:The desert garden beckons, singing a hundred songs.
:Was this desert once the depths of a vast ocean?
:I, the desert-dweller, still glimpse that dream today.
:Deep beneath those ocean waves, where the vessel sank—
:I search for my lost shipmate, treading these endless sands.
:*Lifetimes have passed
* Muhammad, the beloved of three dimensions, has come to the world
:Come the sea, the sky, the wind, if you want to see.
:Dusted earth in heaven today, has won and gave shyness
:Today the rain of happiness has fallen in the adust Sahara.
:Look at Mother Amina's arms, baby swings, Islam swings
:Recites the words of testimony in the vealy mouth.
:All sinners and penitents today, has gotten pardon of all sins
:Unjust oppression has left the world.
:All praises recites the name, may God bless him and grant him peace
:Jinns fairies angels greet the Prophet on his feet.
:* Muhammad, the beloved of three dimensions
* Dry leaves rustling, anklets jingling,
:Dances the wild whirlwind!
:On the water, shimmering, sparkling,
:Rippling waves she leaves behind!
:Trampling lotuses in the lake,
:Shaking Champa and Bakul awake,
:Restless waterfalls babble and break,
:Rushing through the fields aligned!
:Tearing wild-flower jewels away,
:Spreading dark hair in wild array,
:Like a mad queen, swaying in play,
:In her dusty cloak enshrined!
:Like a nomad, Persian maid,
:Charming valley, forest, and glade,
:Saffron-robed she storms the shade,
:Veil of desert sand entwined!
:* Dry leaves rustling, anklets jingling
*The Dark and Beautiful Lifter of the Mountain,
:In the sweet forest of my mind, play Your flute,
: O wanderer divine, to the melody of springtime wine!
:Come as the vernal moon, O Lord of my heart, 
:on this night so sweet and clear,
:Awaken the high tide of devotion within,
: O Rover of the Yamuna dear!
:On the couch of love in my heart's deep shrine, 
:take Your rest, O Playful Divine,
:Lighting the lamp of my eyes at Your bedside, 
:I shall wake, for Your beauty I pine.
:All my dreams and desires have withered away,
: weave them into a wreath for Your grace;
:I shall fashion the anklets for Your lotus feet, 
:threading the tears from my weeping face.
:*The Dark and Beautiful Lifter of the Mountain
* You worship an idol made of earth, but the Mother you do not revere!
:In every mother the divinity resides, (in every single home)
:Oh blind fool, you see it not, you fail to hold her dear!
:​Year after year, you put on a show of worshipping the Divine,
:Seeing her cowardly children, the Mother turns to stone in shame's design.
:To win her heart through devotion’s battle, no true seeker seems to strive here!
:​The clay idol dissolves in water, floating away on Vijaya’s tide,
:Yet the Mother’s love awakens in the sky and wind, as an sleepless, compassionate guide.
:Right beside you, Her grace smiles bright—
:Why don't you seek Her on that path, why look away in fear?
*:Idol made of earth
* Weary of struggles, I, the great rebel, &lt;br /&gt; Shall rest in quiet only when I find &lt;br /&gt; The sky and the air free of the piteous groans of the oppressed. &lt;br /&gt; Only when the battle fields are cleared of jingling bloody sabres &lt;br /&gt; Shall I, weary of struggles, rest in quiet, &lt;br /&gt; I am the rebel eternal, &lt;br /&gt; I raise my head beyond this world and, &lt;br /&gt; High, ever erect and alone!
** [[w:Bidrohi (poem)|&quot;Bidrohi&quot;]] [&quot;The Rebel&quot;] ( December 1921), as translated by Kabir Choudhary

* O [[heart]], [[w:Ramadan|Ramadan]] has come to an [[end]], &lt;br /&gt; and the happy [[w:Eid al-Fitr|Eid]] knocks at the door for all, &lt;br /&gt; Come, today give yourself away wholeheartedly,&lt;br /&gt; heed the [[divine]] call.
** &quot;Eid, At The End Of Fasting Of Ramadan&quot;, as translated by Mohammad Omar Farooq

* Let's forget [[today]] who is [[friend]] or [[foe]], &lt;br /&gt; and hold each other in caring embrace. &lt;br /&gt; Let your [[love]] be the magnet &lt;br /&gt;to bring the [[humanity]] to [[Allah]]'s [[grace]]. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt; [[Remember]] those in perennial fast,  &lt;br /&gt; constantly in [[hunger]] and deprivation, &lt;br /&gt; Share with the [[poor]], orphans and the destitutes, &lt;br /&gt;to make inclusive your [[celebration]].
** &quot;Eid, At The End Of Fasting Of Ramadan&quot;, as translated by Mohammad Omar Farooq

* O heart, with the very stones or bricks &lt;br /&gt;  that some people hurled at you all along, &lt;br /&gt;  build a wonderful mosque of love &lt;br /&gt;  with foundation, solid and strong.
** &quot;Eid, At The End Of Fasting Of Ramadan&quot;, as translated by Mohammad Omar Farooq
*​ Come and see, in Mother Amina’s lap,
:The moon of the honeyed full moon swings there.
:As if the crimson sun cradles in the lap of dawn,
:So does he sway in grace.;
:Across all creation, a cry arises today: &quot;Who is it that has come?&quot;
:With the words of Kalma Shahadat on his lips, &quot;Who is it that has come?&quot;;
:Divine light shines upon his brow, &quot;Who is it that has come?&quot;
:The sky, the planets, and the stars fall prostrate—&quot;Who is it that has come?&quot;;
:The angels recite Durud, as all the gates of Heaven swing open.,
:The one who restored the rights of man to man,;
:The one who declared, &quot;There is no Lord but Allah,&quot;
:The one who donned the garb of the poor for the sake of humanity,
:The one who brought the King and the poor to the same row;
:that Prophet has come to Earth to give himself to the world,;
:The living image of the meditations of suffering souls;
:Today, the entire universe is intoxicated with the joyful clamor of liberation.
:* Come and See, In Mother Amina's Lap (Tora dekhe ja Amina mayer koley]
* ​The Psalms, the Torah, and the Gospels—through the ages long, 
:Proclaimed his coming from the heavens in a sacred song.
:The silent, suffering Earth’s long penance brings him to our shore,
:With a heavy heart and holy feet, the Savior’s at the door.
:All scriptures of all times, the seekers, and the wise,
:The sages, saints, and prophets with vision in their eyes—
:All voiced his arrival; now the churning of time is done,
:From the ocean of sorrow emerges the Immortal One!
:The ancient Earth beholds again a sunrise bright and new,
:The Final Deliverer is here—sing victory, fear subdue!
:The Siddiq (truthful) and Amin (trustworthy) whom Jesus and the Bible sought,
:The one whose path the Torah's verses repeatedly taught;
:Whom David, the sweet-voiced, sang of in melodies of old,
:The 'Mahamad' whom the Atharva Veda did long ago unfold;
:That Guest has arrived! After ages of waiting and sighs,
:The Jewel of Meditation finally meets our eyes.
:The world overflows with light, with joy, with fruit and flower,
:With scent and color, stars and spheres, in this holy hour.
:Earth prostrates in worship, the ancient shrine stands tall,
:But alas! Ghosts of the past return to haunt the hall.
:Three hundred and sixty idols, carved of wood and stone,
:Sit upon golden pedestals, usurping Allah’s throne.
:​Unable to bear this sight—this insult to the Divine,
:The Prophet seeks the path of light, for truth his soul does pine.
:To Khadija he vows, &quot;By Allah and the Kaaba’s sanctity,
:I shall not bow to Lat or Uzza; only one God I see.
:What fool would worship figures made of straw and clay,
:By one's own hands created? To the Creator, I shall pray!&quot;
:The virtuous, devoted Khadija speaks with him as one:
:&quot;Cast out these idols, Lat and Manat, that the masses run upon.
:Through your grace, the Light of the One has finally appeared,
:My dark night has vanished, Lord; the path is bright and cleared.&quot;
:Slowly the Quraysh learned: Muhammad, the Trustworthy,
:Disdained the Kaaba’s idols, viewing them as vanity.
:* [[:w:bn:মরুভাস্কর|Moru Vaskor (Sun of the Desert)]]
* ​O Nightingale, do not rock the flower-branches 
: In the garden today.
:The flower-buds have not yet broken their slumber; They are still lost in a languid trance. 
:Even now - the North wind sighs night and day,
:Through the empty, desolate branches.
:The South wind, singing its Ghazals, has not yet arrived,
:Nor is the honeybee yet enchanted.
:When will that flower-maiden, tearing her veil,
:Step out into the world?
:When will the joyful touch of dew break her sleep
:And flush her cheeks with crimson?
:The spring tide of blossoms will come,;
:Waking the buds and breaking the banks.
:A smile will steal upon the lips of the flower-buds,
: And dimples will bloom on their cheeks. Ohh Poet - enchanted by the scent, you dove into the water,
:But found no shore.
:You filled your heart with flowers today;
:Tomorrow, your eyes will fill with tears.
: Swing, swing, I give you a swing, yet why do you not wake?
: Phagun (spring) is here, calling out—rise now, my friend, for heaven’s sake!
: Shall I break your slumber with hope or intoxication?
: Or shall I stay awake myself, in restless expectation?
: The southern breeze has arrived,
: The bees and birds are lost in your love, revived. Rise, rise, oh rise, my friend, Phagun is finally here,
: The southern wind whispers a question: &quot;Where is the heart's dear?&quot;
: Rise, rise, oh rise, my friend, Phagun is finally here,
: The southern wind whispers a question: &quot;Where is the heart's dear?&quot; The blossoms of spring awake, the riverbanks shall overflow,
: A flood of flowers is coming, in a vibrant, rhythmic glow.
: Upon the lips of the budding flowers, a smile will softly play,
: And dimples will grace the cheeks of the earth in a floral display. Oh Poet, lost in the fragrance, you dove into the deep,
: You found no shore, only secrets the waters keep.
: Today your heart is full of flowers, but your eyes shall fill with dew,
: Oh Nightingale of the garden, do not swing upon the flowery branch anew.
:* [[:bn:বাগিচায় বুলবুলি তুই|Bagichay Bulguli Tui]] ( ​O Nightingale, do not rock the flower-branches In the garden today)
* Do not disturb her midnight trance. 
:Like a withered flower fallen upon the dusty path—
:She will rise no more, do not call to her. 
:Like a silent ascetic, she sought only you in meditation,
:Her eyes fixed forever upon the path you would take.
:You, who never wiped away her tears in life—
:Do not come now to weep by her side.
:​In the lap of death, she has fallen asleep in profound peace,
:Clasping to her chest the dry garland she wove for you.
:She who found solace only in dying—
:Let her sleep, do not wake her.
:* Do not disturb her midnight trance. (Or Nishith Shomadhi Bhangio Na)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}
* [https://archive.org/search.php?query=%28%28subject%3A%22Islam%2C%20Kazi%20Nazrul%22%20OR%20subject%3A%22Islam%2C%20Kazi%20N%2E%22%20OR%20subject%3A%22Islam%2C%20K%2E%20N%2E%22%20OR%20subject%3A%22Kazi%20Nazrul%20Islam%22%20OR%20subject%3A%22Kazi%20N%2E%20Islam%22%20OR%20subject%3A%22K%2E%20N%2E%20Islam%22%20OR%20subject%3A%22Islam%2C%20Kazi%22%20OR%20subject%3A%22Kazi%20Islam%22%20OR%20creator%3A%22Kazi%20Nazrul%20Islam%22%20OR%20creator%3A%22Kazi%20N%2E%20Islam%22%20OR%20creator%3A%22K%2E%20N%2E%20Islam%22%20OR%20creator%3A%22K%2E%20Nazrul%20Islam%22%20OR%20creator%3A%22Islam%2C%20Kazi%20Nazrul%22%20OR%20creator%3A%22Islam%2C%20Kazi%20N%2E%22%20OR%20creator%3A%22Islam%2C%20K%2E%20N%2E%22%20OR%20creator%3A%22Islam%2C%20K%2E%20Nazrul%22%20OR%20creator%3A%22Kazi%20Islam%22%20OR%20creator%3A%22Islam%2C%20Kazi%22%20OR%20title%3A%22Kazi%20Nazrul%20Islam%22%20OR%20title%3A%22Kazi%20N%2E%20Islam%22%20OR%20title%3A%22K%2E%20N%2E%20Islam%22%20OR%20title%3A%22Kazi%20Islam%22%20OR%20description%3A%22Kazi%20Nazrul%20Islam%22%20OR%20description%3A%22Kazi%20N%2E%20Islam%22%20OR%20description%3A%22K%2E%20N%2E%20Islam%22%20OR%20description%3A%22Islam%2C%20Kazi%20Nazrul%22%20OR%20description%3A%22Islam%2C%20Kazi%20N%2E%22%20OR%20description%3A%22Kazi%20Islam%22%20OR%20description%3A%22Islam%2C%20Kazi%22%29%20OR%20%28%221899-1976%22%20AND%20Islam%29%29%20AND%20%28-mediatype:software%29 Nazrul Islam at Internet Archive]
* [https://books.google.com/books?&amp;as_auth=%22Nazrul+Islam+%28Kazi%29%22 Nazrul Islam, at Google Books]
* [http://www.kazinazrulislam.org/ Kazi Nazrul Islam profile (in Bengali)]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Nazrul Islam, Kazi}}
[[Category:Poets from India]]
[[Category:Musicians from India]]
[[Category:Novelists from Bangladesh]]
[[Category:Singers from India]]
[[Category:Actors from India]]
[[Category:Philosophers from India]]
[[Category:Translators from Bangladesh]]
[[Category:1899 births]]
[[Category:1976 deaths]]
[[Category:Muslims from India]]
[[Category:Revolutionaries]]
[[Category:Political activists]]</text>
      <sha1>5j7neuq1y464bz6ygcguece4p63yrex</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944120</id>
      <parentid>3944119</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T05:22:42Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30428-40</username>
        <id>3326945</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Quotes */</comment>
      <origin>3944120</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="13382" sha1="ik7ekmjqxcrx2j3rg66wrm0u02ve4jg" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Nazrul.jpg|thumb|Let's forget [[today]] who is [[friend]] or [[foe]], &lt;br /&gt; and hold each other in caring embrace. &lt;br /&gt; Let your [[love]] be the magnet &lt;br /&gt;to bring the [[humanity]] to [[Allah]]'s [[grace]].]]
'''[[w:Kazi Nazrul Islam|Kazi Nazrul Islam]]''' [Bengali: কাজী নজরুল ইসলাম, pronounced [kazi nozrul islam] ([[25 May]] [[1899]] – [[29 August]] [[1976]]) was a [[Bengali]] [[poet]], [[writer]], [[musician]], anti-colonial revolutionary and the national poet of [[Bangladesh]]. Popularly known as '''Nazrul''', he produced a large body of poetry and music with themes that included religious devotion and rebellion against oppression.

== Quotes ==
* Lifetimes have passed, eyes fixed upon the path of hope,
:A desert traveler I roam, with no end—no end in sight.
:Year after year returns and fades away,
:I quench my thirst only with the salt of my own tears.
:​Kindling the deceptive ignis fatuus, the mirage of despair,
:The desert garden beckons, singing a hundred songs.
:Was this desert once the depths of a vast ocean?
:I, the desert-dweller, still glimpse that dream today.
:Deep beneath those ocean waves, where the vessel sank—
:I search for my lost shipmate, treading these endless sands.
:*Lifetimes have passed
* Muhammad, the beloved of three dimensions, has come to the world
:Come the sea, the sky, the wind, if you want to see.
:Dusted earth in heaven today, has won and gave shyness
:Today the rain of happiness has fallen in the adust Sahara.
:Look at Mother Amina's arms, baby swings, Islam swings
:Recites the words of testimony in the vealy mouth.
:All sinners and penitents today, has gotten pardon of all sins
:Unjust oppression has left the world.
:All praises recites the name, may God bless him and grant him peace
:Jinns fairies angels greet the Prophet on his feet.
:* Muhammad, the beloved of three dimensions
* Dry leaves rustling, anklets jingling,
:Dances the wild whirlwind!
:On the water, shimmering, sparkling,
:Rippling waves she leaves behind!
:Trampling lotuses in the lake,
:Shaking Champa and Bakul awake,
:Restless waterfalls babble and break,
:Rushing through the fields aligned!
:Tearing wild-flower jewels away,
:Spreading dark hair in wild array,
:Like a mad queen, swaying in play,
:In her dusty cloak enshrined!
:Like a nomad, Persian maid,
:Charming valley, forest, and glade,
:Saffron-robed she storms the shade,
:Veil of desert sand entwined!
:* Dry leaves rustling, anklets jingling
*The Dark and Beautiful Lifter of the Mountain,
:In the sweet forest of my mind, play Your flute,
: O wanderer divine, to the melody of springtime wine!
:Come as the vernal moon, O Lord of my heart, 
:on this night so sweet and clear,
:Awaken the high tide of devotion within,
: O Rover of the Yamuna dear!
:On the couch of love in my heart's deep shrine, 
:take Your rest, O Playful Divine,
:Lighting the lamp of my eyes at Your bedside, 
:I shall wake, for Your beauty I pine.
:All my dreams and desires have withered away,
: weave them into a wreath for Your grace;
:I shall fashion the anklets for Your lotus feet, 
:threading the tears from my weeping face.
:*The Dark and Beautiful Lifter of the Mountain
* You worship an idol made of earth, but the Mother you do not revere!
:In every mother the divinity resides, (in every single home)
:Oh blind fool, you see it not, you fail to hold her dear!
:​Year after year, you put on a show of worshipping the Divine,
:Seeing her cowardly children, the Mother turns to stone in shame's design.
:To win her heart through devotion’s battle, no true seeker seems to strive here!
:​The clay idol dissolves in water, floating away on Vijaya’s tide,
:Yet the Mother’s love awakens in the sky and wind, as an sleepless, compassionate guide.
:Right beside you, Her grace smiles bright—
:Why don't you seek Her on that path, why look away in fear?
*:Idol made of earth
* Weary of struggles, I, the great rebel, &lt;br /&gt; Shall rest in quiet only when I find &lt;br /&gt; The sky and the air free of the piteous groans of the oppressed. &lt;br /&gt; Only when the battle fields are cleared of jingling bloody sabres &lt;br /&gt; Shall I, weary of struggles, rest in quiet, &lt;br /&gt; I am the rebel eternal, &lt;br /&gt; I raise my head beyond this world and, &lt;br /&gt; High, ever erect and alone!
** [[w:Bidrohi (poem)|&quot;Bidrohi&quot;]] [&quot;The Rebel&quot;] ( December 1921), as translated by Kabir Choudhary

* O [[heart]], [[w:Ramadan|Ramadan]] has come to an [[end]], &lt;br /&gt; and the happy [[w:Eid al-Fitr|Eid]] knocks at the door for all, &lt;br /&gt; Come, today give yourself away wholeheartedly,&lt;br /&gt; heed the [[divine]] call.
** &quot;Eid, At The End Of Fasting Of Ramadan&quot;, as translated by Mohammad Omar Farooq

* Let's forget [[today]] who is [[friend]] or [[foe]], &lt;br /&gt; and hold each other in caring embrace. &lt;br /&gt; Let your [[love]] be the magnet &lt;br /&gt;to bring the [[humanity]] to [[Allah]]'s [[grace]]. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt; [[Remember]] those in perennial fast,  &lt;br /&gt; constantly in [[hunger]] and deprivation, &lt;br /&gt; Share with the [[poor]], orphans and the destitutes, &lt;br /&gt;to make inclusive your [[celebration]].
** &quot;Eid, At The End Of Fasting Of Ramadan&quot;, as translated by Mohammad Omar Farooq

* O heart, with the very stones or bricks &lt;br /&gt;  that some people hurled at you all along, &lt;br /&gt;  build a wonderful mosque of love &lt;br /&gt;  with foundation, solid and strong.
** &quot;Eid, At The End Of Fasting Of Ramadan&quot;, as translated by Mohammad Omar Farooq
*​ Come and see, in Mother Amina’s lap,
:The moon of the honeyed full moon swings there.
:As if the crimson sun cradles in the lap of dawn.
:Across all creation, a cry arises today: &quot;Who is it that has come?&quot;
:With the words of Kalma Shahadat on his lips, &quot;Who is it that has come?&quot;;
:Divine light shines upon his brow, &quot;Who is it that has come?&quot;
:The sky, the planets, and the stars fall prostrate—&quot;Who is it that has come?&quot;;
:The angels recite Durud, as all the gates of Heaven swing open.,
:The one who restored the rights of man to man,;
:The one who declared, &quot;There is no Lord but Allah,&quot;
:The one who donned the garb of the poor for the sake of humanity,
:The one who brought the King and the poor to the same row;
:Upon this earth, the Prophet came to bless,
:A vision for the souls in deep distress;
:The world today with songs of freedom rings,
:As joy through all the universe now sings.
:* Come and See, In Mother Amina's Lap (Tora dekhe ja Amina mayer koley]
* ​The Psalms, the Torah, and the Gospels—through the ages long, 
:Proclaimed his coming from the heavens in a sacred song.
:The silent, suffering Earth’s long penance brings him to our shore,
:With a heavy heart and holy feet, the Savior’s at the door.
:All scriptures of all times, the seekers, and the wise,
:The sages, saints, and prophets with vision in their eyes—
:All voiced his arrival; now the churning of time is done,
:From the ocean of sorrow emerges the Immortal One!
:The ancient Earth beholds again a sunrise bright and new,
:The Final Deliverer is here—sing victory, fear subdue!
:The Siddiq (truthful) and Amin (trustworthy) whom Jesus and the Bible sought,
:The one whose path the Torah's verses repeatedly taught;
:Whom David, the sweet-voiced, sang of in melodies of old,
:The 'Mahamad' whom the Atharva Veda did long ago unfold;
:That Guest has arrived! After ages of waiting and sighs,
:The Jewel of Meditation finally meets our eyes.
:The world overflows with light, with joy, with fruit and flower,
:With scent and color, stars and spheres, in this holy hour.
:Earth prostrates in worship, the ancient shrine stands tall,
:But alas! Ghosts of the past return to haunt the hall.
:Three hundred and sixty idols, carved of wood and stone,
:Sit upon golden pedestals, usurping Allah’s throne.
:​Unable to bear this sight—this insult to the Divine,
:The Prophet seeks the path of light, for truth his soul does pine.
:To Khadija he vows, &quot;By Allah and the Kaaba’s sanctity,
:I shall not bow to Lat or Uzza; only one God I see.
:What fool would worship figures made of straw and clay,
:By one's own hands created? To the Creator, I shall pray!&quot;
:The virtuous, devoted Khadija speaks with him as one:
:&quot;Cast out these idols, Lat and Manat, that the masses run upon.
:Through your grace, the Light of the One has finally appeared,
:My dark night has vanished, Lord; the path is bright and cleared.&quot;
:Slowly the Quraysh learned: Muhammad, the Trustworthy,
:Disdained the Kaaba’s idols, viewing them as vanity.
:* [[:w:bn:মরুভাস্কর|Moru Vaskor (Sun of the Desert)]]
* ​O Nightingale, do not rock the flower-branches 
: In the garden today.
:The flower-buds have not yet broken their slumber; They are still lost in a languid trance. 
:Even now - the North wind sighs night and day,
:Through the empty, desolate branches.
:The South wind, singing its Ghazals, has not yet arrived,
:Nor is the honeybee yet enchanted.
:When will that flower-maiden, tearing her veil,
:Step out into the world?
:When will the joyful touch of dew break her sleep
:And flush her cheeks with crimson?
:The spring tide of blossoms will come,;
:Waking the buds and breaking the banks.
:A smile will steal upon the lips of the flower-buds,
: And dimples will bloom on their cheeks. Ohh Poet - enchanted by the scent, you dove into the water,
:But found no shore.
:You filled your heart with flowers today;
:Tomorrow, your eyes will fill with tears.
: Swing, swing, I give you a swing, yet why do you not wake?
: Phagun (spring) is here, calling out—rise now, my friend, for heaven’s sake!
: Shall I break your slumber with hope or intoxication?
: Or shall I stay awake myself, in restless expectation?
: The southern breeze has arrived,
: The bees and birds are lost in your love, revived. Rise, rise, oh rise, my friend, Phagun is finally here,
: The southern wind whispers a question: &quot;Where is the heart's dear?&quot;
: Rise, rise, oh rise, my friend, Phagun is finally here,
: The southern wind whispers a question: &quot;Where is the heart's dear?&quot; The blossoms of spring awake, the riverbanks shall overflow,
: A flood of flowers is coming, in a vibrant, rhythmic glow.
: Upon the lips of the budding flowers, a smile will softly play,
: And dimples will grace the cheeks of the earth in a floral display. Oh Poet, lost in the fragrance, you dove into the deep,
: You found no shore, only secrets the waters keep.
: Today your heart is full of flowers, but your eyes shall fill with dew,
: Oh Nightingale of the garden, do not swing upon the flowery branch anew.
:* [[:bn:বাগিচায় বুলবুলি তুই|Bagichay Bulguli Tui]] ( ​O Nightingale, do not rock the flower-branches In the garden today)
* Do not disturb her midnight trance. 
:Like a withered flower fallen upon the dusty path—
:She will rise no more, do not call to her. 
:Like a silent ascetic, she sought only you in meditation,
:Her eyes fixed forever upon the path you would take.
:You, who never wiped away her tears in life—
:Do not come now to weep by her side.
:​In the lap of death, she has fallen asleep in profound peace,
:Clasping to her chest the dry garland she wove for you.
:She who found solace only in dying—
:Let her sleep, do not wake her.
:* Do not disturb her midnight trance. (Or Nishith Shomadhi Bhangio Na)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}
* [https://archive.org/search.php?query=%28%28subject%3A%22Islam%2C%20Kazi%20Nazrul%22%20OR%20subject%3A%22Islam%2C%20Kazi%20N%2E%22%20OR%20subject%3A%22Islam%2C%20K%2E%20N%2E%22%20OR%20subject%3A%22Kazi%20Nazrul%20Islam%22%20OR%20subject%3A%22Kazi%20N%2E%20Islam%22%20OR%20subject%3A%22K%2E%20N%2E%20Islam%22%20OR%20subject%3A%22Islam%2C%20Kazi%22%20OR%20subject%3A%22Kazi%20Islam%22%20OR%20creator%3A%22Kazi%20Nazrul%20Islam%22%20OR%20creator%3A%22Kazi%20N%2E%20Islam%22%20OR%20creator%3A%22K%2E%20N%2E%20Islam%22%20OR%20creator%3A%22K%2E%20Nazrul%20Islam%22%20OR%20creator%3A%22Islam%2C%20Kazi%20Nazrul%22%20OR%20creator%3A%22Islam%2C%20Kazi%20N%2E%22%20OR%20creator%3A%22Islam%2C%20K%2E%20N%2E%22%20OR%20creator%3A%22Islam%2C%20K%2E%20Nazrul%22%20OR%20creator%3A%22Kazi%20Islam%22%20OR%20creator%3A%22Islam%2C%20Kazi%22%20OR%20title%3A%22Kazi%20Nazrul%20Islam%22%20OR%20title%3A%22Kazi%20N%2E%20Islam%22%20OR%20title%3A%22K%2E%20N%2E%20Islam%22%20OR%20title%3A%22Kazi%20Islam%22%20OR%20description%3A%22Kazi%20Nazrul%20Islam%22%20OR%20description%3A%22Kazi%20N%2E%20Islam%22%20OR%20description%3A%22K%2E%20N%2E%20Islam%22%20OR%20description%3A%22Islam%2C%20Kazi%20Nazrul%22%20OR%20description%3A%22Islam%2C%20Kazi%20N%2E%22%20OR%20description%3A%22Kazi%20Islam%22%20OR%20description%3A%22Islam%2C%20Kazi%22%29%20OR%20%28%221899-1976%22%20AND%20Islam%29%29%20AND%20%28-mediatype:software%29 Nazrul Islam at Internet Archive]
* [https://books.google.com/books?&amp;as_auth=%22Nazrul+Islam+%28Kazi%29%22 Nazrul Islam, at Google Books]
* [http://www.kazinazrulislam.org/ Kazi Nazrul Islam profile (in Bengali)]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Nazrul Islam, Kazi}}
[[Category:Poets from India]]
[[Category:Musicians from India]]
[[Category:Novelists from Bangladesh]]
[[Category:Singers from India]]
[[Category:Actors from India]]
[[Category:Philosophers from India]]
[[Category:Translators from Bangladesh]]
[[Category:1899 births]]
[[Category:1976 deaths]]
[[Category:Muslims from India]]
[[Category:Revolutionaries]]
[[Category:Political activists]]</text>
      <sha1>ik7ekmjqxcrx2j3rg66wrm0u02ve4jg</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Category:Qubo shows</title>
    <ns>14</ns>
    <id>218288</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944048</id>
      <parentid>2867987</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T21:45:52Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944048</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="116" sha1="svccvzdg3aep0wr8clgsbcl4wxiax5s" xml:space="preserve">{{wikipediacat|qubo}}
These articles feature original television shows from [[w:Qubo|Qubo]].

[[Category:NBC shows]]</text>
      <sha1>svccvzdg3aep0wr8clgsbcl4wxiax5s</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Bhanu Choudhrie</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>218788</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944155</id>
      <parentid>3938712</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T10:53:39Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-25614-10</username>
        <id>3314317</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944155</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3081" sha1="j07afcgp1kgf05m0rfxko64xy9jsfo3" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Bhanu Choudhrie, June 2019.jpg|thumb|Bhanu Choudhrie in 2019]]

'''[[wikipedia:Bhanu_Choudhrie|Bhanu Choudhrie]]''' (born June 1978) is a British-Indian businessman. He is the founder and executive director of C&amp;C Alpha Group, which has global investments in healthcare, hospitality, banking, [[real estate]], aviation and utilities.

== Quotes ==

* As business leaders, we should resist the temptation to believe that learning stops after a bachelor's degree, an MBA, or a few years in the workplace. We need only be humble enough to accept the wisdom we are offered.
** [https://www.exed.hbs.edu/testimonials/owner-president-management-bhanu-choudhrie &quot;Expanding Your Mind, Growing Your Business&quot;], ''Harvard Business School (2019)''
*It is Hindu philosophy that the more you give, the more you get. When I was a child, we used to visit the blind, the handicapped and schools where kids were without parents. It is about taking care of other individuals and to cherish what you have, you must take care of them. 
**[https://www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/article-1690283/Millionaire-Interview-Bhanu-Choudhrie.html &quot;Millionaire Interview: Bhanu Choudhrie&quot;], ''This is Money'' (2010)
*Always look at the long-term opportunity. Take a business where you can see the long-term potential, then put in a management team you can trust to execute your strategy.
**[https://www.propertynewsroom.com/bhanu-choudhrie-c-c-alpha-group/ &quot;Bhanu Choudhrie – C &amp; C Alpha Group&quot;], ''Property Newsroom'' (2018)
*Do not view failure as the be all and end all. It does not define you. Instead, take what you have learned and apply it somewhere new.
**[https://ideamensch.com/bhanu-choudhrie/ &quot;Bhanu Choudhrie - Founder of C&amp;C Alpha Group&quot;], ''IdeaMensch'' (May 2019)
*Not only is every single one of our cadets and graduates a source of great pride, but so too our ground-breaking work in promoting tolerance and diversity.
**[https://www.bmmagazine.co.uk/business/bhanu-choudhrie-developing-a-vital-aviation-niche/ &quot;Bhanu Choudhrie developing a vital aviation niche&quot;], ''Business Matters'' (May 2019)
*If you don’t let current conditions drive your decisions, you can give your investment the time it needs to grow.
**[https://ceoworld.biz/2020/03/11/ceo-spotlight-bhanu-choudhrie-founder-director-of-alpha-aviation-group/ &quot;CEO Spotlight: Bhanu Choudhrie, Founder &amp; Director of Alpha Aviation Group&quot;], ''CEOWORLD magazine'' (March 2020)


== External Links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
[http://www.ccalphagroup.co.uk/our-team/?LMCL=L6IBTQ&amp;LMCL=oyZCGY&amp;LMCL=L6IBTQ C&amp;C Alpha Group Website]

[https://www.crunchbase.com/person/bhanu-choudhrie Bhanu Choudhrie on Crunchbase]

[https://twitter.com/bhanuchoudhrie?lang=en Bhanu Choudhrie on Twitter]

[https://medium.com/@bhanu.choudhrie Bhanu Choudhrie on Medium]

[https://uk.linkedin.com/in/bhanu-choudhrie-a4a96334 Bhanu Choudhrie on LinkedIn]

&lt;br /&gt;

{{DEFAULTSORT:Choudhrie, Bhanu}}
[[Category:Businesspeople from India]]
[[Category:1978 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:People from New Delhi]]
[[Category:Businesspeople in real estate]]</text>
      <sha1>j07afcgp1kgf05m0rfxko64xy9jsfo3</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Derry Girls</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>218795</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943986</id>
      <parentid>3943817</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T16:41:42Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-22475-30</username>
        <id>3310494</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* The President [2.06] */</comment>
      <origin>3943986</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="70217" sha1="188tdf6erxu4h6qln28aj1ijp6gu1fs" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Derry Girls|Derry Girls]]''''' is a British teen sitcom created and written by [[w:Lisa McGee|Lisa McGee]]. Produced by [[w:Hat Trick Productions|Hat Trick Productions]], it is set in [[w:Derry|Derry]], [[w:Northern Ireland|Northern Ireland]] in the 1990s. The first series was broadcast in January and February 2018 on [[w:Channel 4|Channel 4]]. The second series was shown in March and April 2019.

== Series 1 ==
=== Children of the Crossfire [1.01] ===
:'''Erin''': I won’t put up with it anymore. Teenagers have rights now, you know.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Don’t be ridiculous.
:'''Erin''': They do, Ma. It’s true. Sure, Macaulay Culkin might be divorcing his parents.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Do you hear this? This’ll be someone she met at that stupid summer scheme you insisted we send her on. Her bloody “Friends Across the Barricades” thing. I have nothing against Protestants, I’m all for integration, I am, but if they’re letting their weans divorce them…
:'''Erin''': Macaulay Culkin isn’t a Protestant, Ma.
:'''Mary Quinn''': It’s only gonna give our weans ideas.
:'''Erin''': Well, he might be. I didn’t meet him at Friends Across the Barricades.
:'''Mary Quinn''': I don’t care where you met him. You’re not to see him again. Understood?
----
:'''Granda Joe''': Them weans shouldn’t have to take the bus to school. You should be driving them, you useless shite.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I have to work, Joe.
:'''Granda Joe''': Work? ''(chuckles)'' Is that what you call it?
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Yes.
:'''Granda Joe''': Why don’t you just leave my Mary alone?
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Because we’ve been married for 17 years, Joe. We have two children. And because we’re in love with each other.
:'''Erin''': Oh, boke.
:'''Granda Joe''': I’ll find some dirt on you yet, boy. I’ve got people working on it.
----
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Well, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m not enjoying this bomb.
:'''Joe Quinn''': Shocking.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Desperate.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Disgusting and disgraceful. I have an appointment in Tropicana at 12:00. Fifteen minutes in the stand up. But sure I’ll not get over the bridge at this rate. It’s going to play havoc with my build-up. This is what they want. They want ordinary people to suffer. This is what it’s all about.
:'''Erin''': I’m pretty sure interfering with your sunbed sessions isn’t very high up on anyone’s political agenda, Aunt Sarah.
----
''(The girls are not wearing their denim jackets over their blazers as agreed)''
:'''Clare''': What’s all this? I thought we were going to be individuals this year.
:'''Erin''': Look, I wanted to, Clare, but my Ma wouldn’t let me.
:'''Clare''': Well, I’m not being individual on my own!
''(Takes off jacket)''
----
:'''Erin''': Who owns the fella?
:'''Michelle''': Me. Well, come on, then, ball-ache. Are you introducing yourself, or what?
:'''James''': Hi. I’m Michelle’s cousin, James.
:'''Orla''': Why’s he making that funny noise?
:'''Michelle''': He’s English, Orla. That’s the way they talk. He’s my Auntie Kathy’s wean. I told you about my Auntie Kathy. She went to England years ago to have an abortion. Never came back. Never got the abortion, either. Lucky for you, James, eh? Ha!
:'''James''': I didn’t actually know that.
----
''(British soldiers board the school bus)''
:'''James''': What’s going on?
:'''Michelle''': I don’t know. But do you think if I told him I had an incendiary device down my knickers, he’d have a look?
:'''Erin''': Michelle, he’s a soldier.
:'''Michelle''': Ach, some of them are rides. I’m willing to admit it, even if nobody else will, because I’m a beacon of truth, Erin.
:'''Erin''': You’re a mouth, that’s what you are.
----
:'''Erin''': Please, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': No. I have no interest in David Donnelly’s spazzmo band. ''(eating Quavers)''
:'''Clare''': They look nice.
:'''Erin''': I can’t go on my own.
:'''Clare''': Are they nice?
:'''Michelle''': Bring Bobby Sands.
:'''Clare''': Sure, how could I go? I’m so weak I can barely walk.
:'''Michelle''': What about Orla?
:'''Erin''': Orla’s…
:'''Orla''': I love my wee fingers.
:'''Erin''': Orla’s mental. Come on, Michelle. I’m begging you. It’s my big chance with David. I’d do it for you.
:'''Michelle''': Fine! But we both know you’re gonna just sit in the corner like a frigid fuck.
:'''Erin''': I’m not frigid.
:'''Orla''': You’ve never even kissed a boy before. You practice on your pillow sometimes, but you don’t think that’s the same.
:'''Erin''': The reading of the diary was bad enough. I could do without the quoting it from memory.
:'''James''': Michelle, would you mind showing me where the toilet is?
:'''Michelle''': You are really starting to do my head in, do you know that?
''(PA chimes)''
:'''Woman''': Will the following pupils please report to Sister Michael’s office immediately? Erin Quinn, Orla McCool, Clare Devlin, Michelle Mallon, and the wee English fella. Thank you.
:'''Michelle''': I wonder what that could be about.
----
:'''Mary Quinn''': Erin, what in God’s name? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Did you kill that wee nun, girls? 
:'''Erin''': Of course we didn’t!
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Then why were you pissing on her dead body and making sandwiches? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Say nothing, girls. Say nothing till we’ve seen a lawyer.
----
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': Sorry I’m late, Sister. Couldn’t get over the bridge. This bloody bomb. I begged the Brits to let me take my chances, but the awkward bastards made me go the long way.
----
:'''Mr. Devlin''': Sorry to keep you waiting, Sister. How long does it take to defuse a fecking bomb? Sure the wee robots do all the work. Oh, killing nuns now, is it? 
:'''Clare''': I didn’t, Daddy!
:'''Mr. Devlin''': You wait until your mother hears about this.
----
:'''Sister Michael''': Obviously, Sister Declan’s death was extremely shocking and unexpected. We’re still struggling to understand exactly what happened.
:'''Erin''': Yeah? Can I just ask, what age was Sister Declan? 
:'''Sister Michael''': She’d have been 98 on Friday.
:'''Erin''': Right. Might that shed some light on the situation? 
:'''Sister Michael''': How so? 
:'''Erin''': Does anybody else have any thoughts on the whole “her being almost 98 years of age” thing?
:'''Granda Joe''': Struck down in her prime.

=== Part-Time Job [1.02] ===
:'''Sister Michael''': On Monday morning, several of our Year 13s will face their GCSE maths resit. Now, I know how daunting resit examinations can be, so if anyone is feeling anxious or worried, or even if you just want to chat, please, please, do not come crying to me.
----
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Okay, that is one portion of redfish, one portion of whitefish, two bags of chips – 
:'''Granda Joe''': No, no, no! Two bags won’t be enough.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Two’s plenty, Joe.
:'''Granda Joe''': Four! Four should cover it.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Three, then. We’ll compromise.
:'''Granda Joe''': I’ll compromise you through that window.
:'''Mary Quinn''': That’s enough, Da.
:'''Granda Joe''': The tight bastard’s trying to starve us all, Mary!
----
:'''Erin''': Any luck with the trust fund?
:'''Clare''': No. According to my mam, we’re actually quite poor.
:'''Erin''': Aye, I think we might be as well.
----
:'''Uncle Colm''': There was a knock at the door, this must have been, ach, we’re talking eight, half eight, for I was halfway through me dinner. And up I got to open it, and there they both were, large as life. And the taller fella, though, to be fair, there was no more than an inch in it.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Jesus wept.
:'''Uncle Colm''': The slightly taller fella, he says to me, says he, “Do you know who we are?” 
:'''Granda Joe''': How’s a body supposed to enjoy his dinner? 
:'''Uncle Colm''': And I says to him, says I, “Well, I can’t be sure now, but maybe if you took off the balaclavas.” And then he says to me, the slightly taller fella does, he says, “Step aside. We are armed.”
:'''Orla''': Class.
:'''Uncle Colm''': And that’s when the smaller fella, although, as I say, we are talking an inch…
:'''Erin''': Mammy, make it stop.
:'''Uncle Colm''': …an inch and a half at most.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': I need a drink.
:'''Uncle Colm''': He has the bright idea of tying me to the radiator, you see. And I remember saying to myself, says I, “Colm, it’s a good job you have the Economy 7 on the old timer, or you’d be roasted here.”
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Did you go for the Economy 7 in the end, Colm? I thought you said the hot water settings were a minefield? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': For the love of God, Sarah, no diversions, please.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Aye, come on, let’s pick it up. They tied you to the heater.
:'''Uncle Colm''': They did indeed. And there I am, shackled to the thermostatic valve with me new shoelaces, when one of them, the smaller fella, or, hang on, maybe it was the--
:'''Gerry Quinn''': It doesn’t matter, Colm.
:'''Uncle Colm''': Well, it was one of the two. He’s looking for the keys to the van, all ranting and raving and getting himself all worked up, threatening to set fire to my good chaise lounge and all sorts. By Jesus, they were absolutely desperate to borrow thon van.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Colm, they didn’t borrow your van. They stole your van, used it to move arms across the border, and then they blew it up.
:'''Uncle Colm''': Aye. Nightmare altogether.
----
:'''Clare''': You will never guess what she’s done this time, Erin.
:'''Erin''': Did she nick the noticeboard from the chip shop, Clare?
----
:'''Erin''': So, firstly we have the tutoring. And out of everyone, I thought you might be best suited to that, Clare, because--
:'''Clare''': I’m the brightest.
:'''Erin''': Well, in that conventional sort of way, I suppose. There’s also some babysitting. The child will be in bed, so you should just about be able to manage that, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': Oh, thanks. And you should just about be able to manage this.
:'''Erin''': Always the lady. There’s also some gardening, mowing a lawn, et cetera. This will require a bit of muscle, so… you should take that one, Orla.
:'''James''': No, I should do that one. It’s a man’s job, Erin. I’m a man.
:'''Michelle''': That’s debatable.
:'''James''': Well, I’m more of a man than Orla.
:'''Orla''': I do not accept that.
:'''James''': Come on, Erin.
:'''Erin''': Fine. So that leaves dog-walking and washing a car.
:'''Orla''': Is it a Renault Clio?
:'''Erin''': No.
:'''Orla''': I’ll take the dogs.
:'''Erin''': Okay.
''(“Little Green Bag” by George Baker Selection is playing)''
:'''Erin''': Let’s go to work.
----
:'''Clare''': It’s slave labor, Erin!
:'''Orla''': It’s worse than slave labor. We’re not even getting paid!
----
''(They all walk upstairs to see what is going on; Michelle is doing the yoga)'' ''(“No Limit” by 2 Unlimited is playing)''
:'''Michelle''': All right?
''(But Erin stops the music)''
:'''Michelle''': Boo!
:'''Clare''': Where’d you get all this?
:'''Michelle''': Fionnula’s cupboard. I think she might have a bit of a problem.
:'''Erin''': You think Fionnula might have a bit of a problem? Put it away and get back downstairs, now.
:'''Michelle''': Sit yourselves down. Have a wee drink.
:'''Clare''': No, Michelle. It’s wrong.
:'''Michelle''': So are those ski pants, Clare, but that didn’t stop you pulling them over your hole this morning. Wait for it. ''(She starts lighting the scented candles of the alcohol)''
:'''Clare''': Michelle!
:'''Michelle''': Don’t be a shower of bore bags. ''(She carries the scented candles)'' Sláinte, motherfuckers.
:'''Erin''': No, no, no, no!
:'''Michelle''': Fuck, fuck, fuck! ''(She accidentally drops the scented candles on the floor which makes the fire spreads on the floor to the curtains)''
----
''(After tying Orla, Clare and Michelle to the radiators, Aunt Sarah and Mary Quinn tie James and Erin at the radiators)''
:'''Erin''': Why would two gunmen break into a chippy?
:'''James''': Ah! That really hurt.
:'''Michelle''': You’re such a pussy.
:'''Erin''': What were they looking for?
:'''Orla''': Chips, obviously.
:'''Mary Quinn''': They were looking for the keys to the van. Keep up, Erin.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Do you think we should knock them about a bit?
:'''Mary Quinn''': No.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Nothing drastic. Just a few slaps.
:'''Mary Quinn''': I said no, Sarah.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': What, not even the wee gay fella?
:'''James''': I’m not gay.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Okay, that should do it. Ready?
:'''Clare''': I hate to be a health and safety stickler, but surely you’re not actually planning on leaving us like this, are you?
''(They hear the door slamming)''
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(whispering)'' Back door. Back door. Back door. Hurry up.
''(Mary Quinn and Aunt Sarah leave)'' ''(“La Mer” by Charles Trenet is playing)'' ''(Fionnula returns back realizing what happened to these curtains)''
:'''Clare''': ''(gasps)''
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(whispering)'' Push it, push it.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': I’m pushing! I’m pushing it!
:'''Mary Quinn''': Hurry up!
:'''Aunt Sarah''': It’s locked!
''(They all come back to see Fionnula)''
:'''Fionnula''': What the fuck’s going on here, exactly?!
:'''Mary Quinn''': Okay… Um, all right. Well, what happened was… ''(pointing to Michelle)'' Michelle was carrying this scented candle…
''(“Never Gonna Get It” by En Vogue is playing)''
:'''Granda Joe''': It’s just not as nice.

=== The Miracle [1.03] ===
:'''Clare''': Sweet suffering Jesus. It’s the morning already?! What are we gonna do?
:'''Michelle''': Well maybe we could start with calming the fuck down.
:'''Clare''': Calm down? We’re still on William of Orange, Michelle! We haven’t so much looked at the famine! 
:'''Michelle''': We’ve got the gist. They ran out of spuds. Everyone was raging.
:'''James''': Well, I can’t tell my rebellions from my risings.
:'''Michelle''': And whose fault’s that? If your lot had stopped invading us for five fucking minutes, there’d be a lot less to wade through! You English prick.
----
:'''Erin''': It’s abuse. That’s what it is. It’s abusive. Does anybody have 10p? I’m ringing Childline.
:'''Michelle''': You can’t ring Childline every time your ma threatens to kill you, Erin.
:'''Clare''': Yeah, you can’t waste Esther’s time like that.
:'''Michelle''': And anyway, you’re not alone We’re all gonna fail. We’re all gonna get our holes kicked, and we’re all in the same boat.
:'''Clare''': I don’t wanna be in that boat! I wanna be in a different boat, sailing down a totally different river!
:'''James''': Guys, all we can do is try our best.
:'''Michelle''': Ach, don’t be such a fruit, James!
:'''Erin''': Oh, my God! Look!
''(They all stare at the dog stroked by the army)''
:'''Erin''': Doesn’t that dog look like Toto?
:'''James''': Oh, I suppose it does a bit, yeah.
:'''Erin''': Looks exactly like him. Here, boy! ''(running over to him)'' Come here, boy! Here, boy! Come here, boy! Here, boy! Come here! Here, boy! Here, boy!
----
:'''Sister Michael''': ''(on the phone)'' Could you put me through to Sister Thomas, please? Tommy! How are you? Yeah, not too bad. A retreat? ''(tuts)'' I dunno. I have judo on Friday. Don’t like to miss it. Now, I’ll tell you why I’m ringing you. So we’ve had an alleged apparition here this morning. Well, it’s in the weeping statue category. Sure, I know. Yeah, apparently there was a smirk as well. ''(chuckles)'' I mean, I’m not sure what Our Lady of the Sorrows has to be smirking about, but that’s by the by.
----
:'''Father Peter''': Directly before the weeping, can you remember what you were doing, what you were talking about?
:'''Michelle''': I remember that James was being a dick.
:'''Sister Michael''': Miss Mallon.
:'''Michelle''': I don’t like to use that word, Sister, but it’s so hard to describe James any other way, ‘cause he’s just such a dick.
:'''Father Peter''': I don’t think you’re a dick, James.
:'''James''': Really? 
:'''Father Peter''': Really. And you know who else doesn’t think you’re a dick? Our Lord.
:'''Sister Michael''': For feck’s sake.
:'''Michelle''': How do you know Our Lord doesn’t think he’s a dick? 
:'''Father Peter''': Our Lord doesn’t think anyone’s a dick.
:'''Michelle''': I very much doubt that.
----
:'''Mary Quinn''': I also have a question, pretty boy. Why are you encouraging all this? 
:'''Father Peter''': I wouldn’t say I’m encouraging it, I’m just open to the possibility.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Well, I’m not. Not unless I see some cold, hard evidence.
:'''Father Peter''': And maybe it’s there. Proof at last, Peter, proof at last.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Is he all right? 
:'''Sister Michael''': I wouldn’t say so, no. He’s a priest, like.

=== The Ukrainian [1.04] ===
:'''Granda Joe''': You don’t know a Jack McGinley, do you? Moved to Moscow, ‘88, ‘89, it would have been.
:'''Erin''': Seriously?
:'''Katya''': No.
:'''Granda Joe''': Stocky fella.
:'''Katya''': No.
:'''Granda Joe''': Curly hair, bit of a lisp.
:'''Katya''': I do not know this person.
:'''Granda Joe''': Ah, maybe just as well, love. He’s an awful prick.
----
:'''Erin''': So, Katya, I’ve done a bit of an itinerary for your stay. You should have received a copy in my last letter.
:'''Katya''': I don’t read your letters, Erin.
:'''Erin''': I’m sorry? I don’t follow.
:'''Katya''': Your letters, they bore.
:'''Erin''': They’re boring.
:'''Katya''': Exactly.
:'''Erin''': That’s not what I--
:'''Katya''': I can smoke here, yes?
:'''Erin''': No. No, you can’t. Mammy’s like a bloodhound.
''(Michelle, Clare and James peep in)''
:'''Michelle''': Your ma said we could come up and have a look at the Russian.
:'''Erin''': Ukrainian. 
:'''Michelle''': Is this her? 
:'''Orla''': Isn’t she cracker? She’s half mine.
:'''Erin''': No, she’s not, Orla.
:'''Orla''': Aye, she is. Mammy said so.
:'''Michelle''': You’re so lucky, Erin. I begged my ma to let me have one, but she said we’ve no room now that my dickhead, ball-bag, English prick of a cousin’s moved in. Talking about you, James, in case you’re wondering.
:'''James''': Yeah, that much was clear. Thank you, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': Have you seen the one Jenny Joyce got, the fella? Massive, massive ride. I’ve been thinking. Maybe time for me to lose the rest of my virginity. And he’s definitely a contender. You help me. You put in good word with your Cossack friend. So we can… ''(makes squishing sounds)''
:'''Erin''': Would you stop that?
:'''Clare''': I’m very sorry for all your trouble, you know, the whole hoo-ha at the power plant.
:'''Katya''': Okay.
:'''Clare''': When you think about it, we’ve actually got a lot in common ‘cause we understand what it’s like to be a young person from a troubled place.
:'''Katya''': Hm, it is not the same. Chernobyl was terrible nuclear accident. You people like to fight each other, and, to be honest, no person really understands why.
:'''Erin''': Well, there’s actually a political element to it, Katya, and there’s a religious element.
:'''Katya''': But you’re not two different religions here. You’re different flavours of same religion, no?
:'''Erin''': Well, yes, but… It’s a little bit more complicated than that, Katya.
:'''Katya''': To me, is stupid.
:'''Clare''': Oh, my God. It is stupid. It is so, so stupid.
:'''Katya''': Who is this?
:'''Erin''': Oh, that’s just James.
:'''Katya''': You are handsome.
:'''James''': ''(gasps)''
:'''Katya''': And also sexy.
:'''Michelle''': Is her English not great?
''(Katya stands up and kisses James)''
:'''Clare''': What’s happening?
:'''Erin''': Why would she do that? Why?
:'''Michelle''': Fuck knows. He’s minging.
:'''Orla''': She seems to be really enjoying it.
:'''Erin''': Is he enjoying it?
:'''Michelle''': It’s hard to tell.
:'''Clare''': Well, if he’s not enjoying it, isn’t that sort of sexual harassment?
:'''Erin''': Yeah, we should put a stop to it.
:'''Clare''': Aye.
:'''Orla''': Does anyone want a Fruit Pastille?
----
:'''Mary Quinn''': Have you any news, Da? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Not really, no.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Right. Shay Harkham was telling me you were in Duggan’s Bakery yesterday lunchtime.
:'''Granda Joe''': Well, that’s hardly news.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Two buns, he said you ordered.
:'''Granda Joe''': Well, I often do.
:'''Mary Quinn''': An apple turnover… and a cream horn.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': A cream horn? 
:'''Erin''': That’s not like you, Granda.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Sure, you couldn’t pay you to eat a cream horn.
:'''Granda Joe''': Cream finger, it was. Apple turnover and a cream finger.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Cream horn, Shay said. He swore on it, said he saw it being bagged up. 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': And Big Shay has eyes like a hawk, so he does. 
:'''Mary Quinn''': Shay said when you left Duggan’s, you turned up Pump Street.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Pump Street? Who do you know on Pump Street, Da?
:'''Mary Quinn''': What were you doing heading up Pump Street with a cream horn, Da? 
:'''Granda Joe''': I was visiting a friend of mine.
:'''Mary Quinn''': What friend? 
:'''Granda Joe''': A new friend.
:'''Mary Quinn''': A male friend, was it? Aye, I thought as much. Buying cream horns for his fancy woman, Sarah, what do you think of that?
----
:'''Granda Joe''': Maeve and me, we’re - We just get on well, that’s all.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Maeve? That’s her name, is it? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Yes, that’s right.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Maeve? That’s what she’s called, is she? 
:'''Granda Joe''': She is, aye.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Maeve? Maeve? Really? Maeve? I cannot believe this.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I think it’s a good thing, love.
:'''Granda Joe''': Just keep out of it, you! 
:'''Mary Quinn''': And that’s who you were winking at in Mass? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Winking? At your age? Christ, I feel sick.
:'''Granda Joe''': It was only a friendly wink.
:'''Mary Quinn''': There is no such thing as a friendly wink! 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Is there not? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': Our poor mother is barely cold and you’re straight back out there, winking away.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Your mother’s been dead ten years, Mary.
:'''Granda Joe''': Look, I’ll not tell you again!
----
:'''Michelle''': Shh! You’ll scare Clive! 
:'''Erin''': Who’s Clive? 
:'''Michelle''': Clive. Clive is a wee Prod from East Belfast. Clive came back from Ibiza, got on the wrong bus at Aldergrove Airport, then fell asleep. Clive woke up in Derry, surrounded by Russians and Fenians. Clive is absolutely shitting himself.
:'''Erin''': So where's the real Artem? 
:'''Michelle''': Giant’s Causeway, probably. Foreigners fucking love the Giant’s Causeway.

=== Holiday [1.05] ===
:'''Mary Quinn''': Already? It’s started already? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I think it’s just a rehearsal, love.
:'''Mary Quinn''': They’ve been playing the same three songs since 1795, what do they need to rehearse for? 
----
:'''Gerry Quinn''': You’re absolutely sure we need the big clock, love? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': We’ve been through this, Gerry.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Definitely don’t want to bring the wee clock? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': I can’t be doing with the wee clock! 
:'''Granda Joe''': What is your problem with the big clock? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I wouldn’t say I have a problem, as such, it’s just much heavier and takes up a lot of room.
:'''Granda Joe''': I’m telling you, Mary, that’s how it starts -- now he’s dictating what size of clock you can pack. Next he’ll be telling you what to wear, what to say. Before you know it, you’ll be faking your own death and assuming a new identity.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Erin, I told you not to let him watch that Sleeping With The Enemy.
:'''Erin''': Couldn’t stop him, Mammy.
:'''Granda Joe''': Great show.
----
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Listen, Mary, I just did a reading. The cards say if we go on this wee holiday, we’re placing ourselves in grave danger, which I’m not buzzing about, to be honest.
:'''Erin''': You’re not psychic, Aunt Sarah.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': I am psychic, Erin. I did a course. I got a certificate. Aye, this does not look good.
:'''Granda Joe''': Still no sign of the lottery numbers? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': No, Daddy. This psychic carry-on, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, you know? Last night, I woke up to this wailing sound. I thought to myself, “Jesus, it’s Granny Pat! She’s trying to cross over!” Now, it turned out it was only Aggie next door. She’d put the electric blanket on full whack and scalded the legs o’ herself. But still, it could just as easily have been – 
:'''Erin''': The disembodied spirit of a dead relative? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Exactly. My nerves are wrecked. I’m living on a knife’s edge here. Is there any Rice Krispies? 
----
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': Listen, Mary, I hate to do this to you, but me and Martin are both working nights and I’m nervous about leaving these two on their own. Don’t suppose there’s any chance you could take them with you? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': Ach, away, Deirdre, it’s just – 
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': The English thing? Listen, Mary, I understand. I mean, he’s my nephew, and even I find it hard to get past. If I’m totally honest, there’s times when I look at him and I feel… well, it’s pure hatred. I’ll not dress it up.
:'''Mary Quinn''': No, no, it’s not the English thing.
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': I hope to God it’s not the gay thing you’re offended by.
:'''James''': There is no gay thing.
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': Because I’d be disappointed in you, Mary, I’ll not lie.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Of course not. I mean, if anything, the gay thing sort of cancels out the English thing.
:'''James''': Again, no gay thing.
:'''Michelle''': You wouldn’t move over there, James? I can’t see past your massive closet.
----
:'''Jim''': Now, once your tent is erect, you’ll want to think about where to safely store your food, because believe me, girls, you do not want to attract predatory animals into your sleeping area. Bears are particularly vicious.
:'''Erin''': Yeah, I’m not sure how many bears there are in Portnoo, though, Jim.
:'''Orla''': But there was a cheetah on the beach one time.
:'''Erin''': That was a greyhound, Orla.
:'''Orla''': I know what I saw.
----
:'''Erin''': You can’t marry an Orangeman, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': That’s a pity, ‘cause I think there’s something really sexy about the fact that they hate us so much.
----
''(“Holiday” by Madonna is playing)'' ''(They all set off in the countryside)''
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I hope your father appreciates the fact that I was the one who got us out of that mess.
:'''Mary Quinn''': He won’t. Nobody back there actually believed you were a Japanese tourist, Gerry. They all thought you were a nutcase. They took pity on you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Dear God, no.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': What’s wrong?
:'''Mary Quinn''': I can’t find my purse.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I can see your purse right there.
:'''Mary Quinn''': No, no, that’s my sterling purse. I’m talking about my punt purse. I can’t find my punt purse, Gerry. Blessed Saint Anthony, the grace of God has made you the patron saint of all things lost and stolen. I turn to you this day with childlike love and deep confidence--
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Look, Mary, calm down--
:'''Mary Quinn''': Calm down, Gerry? We have no punts! We can’t go to the Free State without punts. We’re puntless. We haven’t a punt between us. Oh, God, I think… I think I’m having a panic attack. Oh, stupid punts.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Over this? So what happened back there was totally fine, but ''this'' is worth having a panic attack about?
:'''Mary Quinn''': You have to turn around.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': There is more chance of me eloping with your father to a flip-flop shop in Hawaii--
:'''Mary Quinn''': Look, okay, fine! But that means we won’t be able to buy anything, which means we’ll have no food, which means we’ll all starve to death. So, you know, on your head be it, Gerry. Oh, actually, do you know what? I think I put it in the suitcase.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': False alarm there, Saint Anthony. Sorry for troubling you.

=== The Wee Lesbian [1.06] ===
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Orla has got really into step aerobics. Her instructor says she’s a natural. Says she’s got what it takes to go all the way.
:'''Mary Quinn''': All the way in step aerobics? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': But it’s out of control now, Mary. She’s stepping morning, noon and night. Apart from anything else, it’s dangerous. She nearly came through the ceiling yesterday. Okay, she might be gifted, but I just want her to have a normal childhood.
----
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Er, look, I’m sorry. Do you absolutely need it? 
:'''Ciaran''': I’m afraid I do, sir, yes. Proof of ID.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': But you have my surname written on it there.
:'''Ciaran''': How do I know that’s your surname? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Because I just told you it was my surname.
:'''Ciaran''': You could be lying.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Why would I lie? 
:'''Ciaran''': To get your hands on someone else’s photos.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Why would I want somebody else’s photos? Like, who would pay for somebody else’s photos? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Stalker, maybe.
:'''Ciaran''': Yeah, exactly. Very good, sir. A stalker.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I’m not a stalker.
:'''Ciaran''': Look, why don’t you just go home and have a wee look for your wee docket? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': No. This is ridiculous. Just open that up and take out one of the photos. You see? That’s me wife there.
:'''Ciaran''': How do I know you’re not just telling me that? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Cos that’s me standing beside her.
:'''Ciaran''': I suppose you do look a bit like this man.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I am this man.
:'''Ciaran''': It could be you.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': It’s definitely me. My name is Gerry Quinn. This is my father-in-law, Joe. He can vouch for me.
:'''Granda Joe''': I’ve never seen this man before in my life.
----
:'''Sister Michael''': I’ve just received a phone call from Louise Kerr’s mother, and it’s not looking great.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Oh, God, I just can’t believe it.
:'''Sister Michael''': It’s unlikely she’ll be returning to school before the end of the year, so I think the only thing we can do now is --
:'''Aisling''': Pray for her? 
:'''Sister Michael''': No. What use would that do? No, I think the best thing we can do is decide who will fulfil the role of editor now.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Sister Michael, some of us have actually already discussed this eventuality, and the thing is, well, nobody is comfortable stepping into Louise’s shoes.
:'''Aisling''': It feels a bit, sort of, disrespectful.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': We think this issue should be cancelled.
:'''Sister Michael''': Well, fair enough, if nobody is willing to take her place.
:'''Erin''': I’ll do it.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Excuse me? 
:'''Erin''': I’ll take her place. I’ll step into her shoes. I’ll do it.
:'''Sister Michael''': Really? 
:'''Erin''': Absolutely.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': No, you can’t. We are making a statement. You’re ruining our statement!
:'''Erin''': Look, girls, I know Louise meant a lot to you all.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': She’s not dead, Erin!
:'''Erin''': Well, not yet. Hopefully she won’t, you know, die, but if she does, the show must go on! Isn’t that right, Sister Michael? 
:'''Sister Michael''': You terrify me.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': You can’t be the editor! 
:'''Aisling''': You’ve never even written an article, Erin.
:'''Erin''': That’s because I can’t get anything past Rupert Murdoch over there!
:'''Jenny Joyce''': This isn’t fair. You can’t let it happen, Sister!
:'''Sister Michael''': I know. But I’m bored now, so it looks like I probably will. Good luck, all.
----
:'''Erin''': This was written by a girl. A real life lesbian walks among us.
:'''Orla''': I don’t really believe in lesbians.
----
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Do you not think there’s an awful lot of lesbians about nowadays? You can’t move for lesbians. It’s wall to wall lesbians out there.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Really? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Oh, it’s true. Bridget Gallagher, she’s a lesbian.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Bridget Gallagher, who works in the post office? 
:'''Granda Joe''': I believe so.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Is she not a vegetarian, Da? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Sorry, you’re right. Vegetarian, Bridget is.
----
''(“Let’s Talk About Sex” by Salt-N-Pepa is playing)''
:'''Michelle''': Read all about the wee dyke.
:'''Erin''': We will not be censored!
:'''Orla''': Lesbians really do exist!
:'''James''': I support gays, even though I, myself, am not actually gay!
:'''Erin''': Come on, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I don’t wanna get involved. I’m sorry.
:'''Erin''': Coward!
----
:'''Sister Michael''': ''(after a choral performance)'' Lovely, altogether. You know, every year I sit backstage listening to the singers and it really makes me realize just how talented the professionals who originally recorded these tracks were.

== Series 2 ==
=== Across the Barricade [2.01] ===
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Will any of your crowd be going, love? 
:'''Clare''': My crowd? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Or can you not get Protestant lesbians?
:'''Clare''': No, I think you can get them all right, it’s just --
:'''Granda Joe''': I heard that k.d. lang on the radio yesterday. Christ, but she’s some set of pipes on her. You’re a very talented people.
:'''Clare''': Thank you?
----
:'''Michelle''': We’re doing it for peace, all right, Mary. A piece of that fine Protestant ass!
''(Erin and Michelle give a hi-five)''
:'''Clare''': God, you are such a hypocrite, Erin.
:'''Erin''': No, I’m not. I just don’t think there’s anything wrong with some cross-community… Fiddling…relations.
:'''Orla''': So, we need to head south-east for 0.5 Miles and you’ll receive further instructions shortly.
:'''Michelle''': We haven’t even left the estate yet, Orla. These Prods have some serious moves up their sleeves, you know. They’re not as fucked up about sex as we are. They’ve put the work in, they know what they’re doing.
:'''Clare''': They’re people, Michelle! They’re not sex toys!
:'''Michelle''': I beg to differ.
:'''James''': I’m really looking forward to making friends with some lads.
:'''Michelle''': Lads aren’t going to make friends with you, James. Lads make friends with other lads.
:'''James''': I am a lad.
:'''Erin''': Aye, so you are, James.
:'''Clare''': Okay, how much money do we have?
:'''Michelle''': Look, the riding of the Protestants is one thing, but I really don’t see why we have to buy them a present. I mean they already have all the land, all the jobs and all the fucking rights.
:'''Erin''': Aye, Michelle, that’s definitely the attitude we should have entering into this weekend.
----
:'''Dennis''': A present for Protestants. Ah, now my next Protestant gift delivery isn’t due to arrive until Wednesday. And as it stands, I’m completely out of stock, what with there being such a high fucking demand for that sort of thing around these parts.
:'''Orla''': That’s a shame.
:'''Clare''': How much for the Subbuteo, Dennis? 
:'''Dennis''': We’ll call it 16 quid.
:'''James''': Could we call it £1.76? 
:'''Dennis''': No, we fucking couldn’t.
:'''Erin''': How about we give you the £1.76 and we pay the rest off in installments? 
:'''Clare''': Yeah. Which would be what? £3.56 over four weeks? 
:'''Dennis''': Jesus, check out Rain Wean.
:'''Erin''': Or, you could give us the Subbuteo, and then we could work off the debt.
:'''Clare''': Yeah, we could do chores and stuff.
:'''Dennis''': Chores? What do you think this is? Little House on the fucking Prairie? 
:'''Orla''': Do you watch Little House on the Prairie, Dennis? 
:'''Dennis''': GET OUT! 
----
:'''Michelle''': ''(accepting a teddy bear from a Protestant boy)'' I’m going to keep mine on my bed, where I sleep. In me knickers.
----
:'''Father Peter''': As some of you may know, I took a bit of a sabbatical last year.
:'''Michelle''': Do you mean when you shacked up with a slutty hairdresser but then she dumped you? 
:'''Sister Michael''': Miss Mallon, please! Raise your hand if you want to ask a question.
:'''Father Peter''': Okay, I think we should just move on.
:'''Sister Michael''': The hairdresser certainly did.
----
:'''Protestant Boy''': She’s coming! 
:'''Michelle''': Who? 
:'''Protestant Boy''': The woman. The small angry penguin woman.
:'''Michelle''': Sister Michael! Shit! 
''(Sister Michael arrives)''
:'''Erin''': Oh, good evening, Sister. We just popped round because we had a few questions about the British Empire, which the boys have cleared up for us now, so… 
:'''Jenny Joyce''': They weren’t talking about the British Empire, Sister. They were having a party. I could hear the music.
:'''Sister Michael''': You will go far in life, Jenny. But you will not be well liked.

=== Ms De Brún and the Child of Prague [2.02] ===
:'''Sister Michael''': Sadly, Sister Patrick has decided to leave us. She’s returning to her missionary work, educating the heathen inhabitants of a primitive and savage place.
:'''Teacher''': She’s taken a teaching post in Belfast, Sister.
:'''Sister Michael''': Precisely.
----
:'''Uncle Colm''': And that’s not to say, now, that in my younger years, I didn’t enjoy a boiled sweet. But then I heard tell of a fella from Ballynahinch-- what was it his name was, now? I had it there a minute ago. Ach, it’ll come to me. Anyway, this Ballynahinch lad, and as I say, his name escapes me, but he was mad keen on the boiled sweets. Sure he couldn’t get enough of them. But in the end, well, didn’t he choke to death on one? A pear drop, I think it was. Or a clove rock, maybe. But either way, it’s not how I’d want to go.
----
:'''Erin''': Ms. De Brún is amazing. I’ve just never met anyone like her.
:'''James''': She’s an inspiration.
:'''Clare''': Absolutely.
:'''Michelle''': She really knows how to grab things by the balls.
:'''Clare''': Oh, yeah!
:'''Erin''': She’s changed my life, she really has.
:'''James''': She likes my accent.
:'''Orla''': I’d die for her.
:'''Erin''': I think I would too, you know.
:'''James''': Me too.
:'''Michelle''': Aye, fuck it, why not?
:'''Clare''': Yeah. I mean, obviously I totally agree. I’d die for her as well, but I’m also conscious of the fact we’ve only know her, like, two days.
:'''Erin''': And?
:'''Clare''': Well, is it a bit weird she’s invited us to her house at night?
:'''Erin''': What do you mean?
:'''Clare''': Well, she’s a teacher.
:'''Erin''': She’s much more than a teacher.
:'''Clare''': Yeah. No, obviously I get that. She’s great, but it’s just that I have a feeling it might be sort of frowned upon.
:'''Erin''': God, Clare, you’re so conditioned.
:'''Clare''': What’s that supposed to mean?
:'''Michelle''': It means you need to loosen the fuck up.
:'''Clare''': I am loose, thank you very much.
:'''Michelle''': Face it, Clare, you’re a craic killer.
:'''Clare''': I’m not a craic killer. I AM NOT A CRAIC KILLER!
----
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Well, well, well. What are you guys up to? 
:'''Erin''': Nothing much. 
:'''Clare''': We were just hanging out at Ms. De Brún’s house.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': You were at her house? At night? Well, that’s a bit inappropriate.
:'''Clare''': Your ma is a bit inappropriate.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': That doesn’t even make sense.
:'''Clare''': Your ma doesn’t even make sense.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Is she drunk? 
:'''Clare''': Your ma’s drunk.

=== The Concert [2.03] ===
:'''Aunt Sarah''': John’s really dying for peace, like, isn’t he? It’s all he ever goes on about. I hope it works out for him.
----
:'''Granda Joe''': Belfast! Sure, why don’t you just sell the wains into white slavery and be done with it? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': Gerry’ll be with them, Da.
:'''Granda Joe''': That’s worse! Sure, they hate his kind there.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': My kind? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Pricks.
----
:'''Erin''': Wise up, Mammy! As if a polar bear’s going to rock up at a Take That concert! 
:'''Orla''': He wouldn’t get a ticket, for a start. They sold out months ago.
----
''(They all go up stairs to the room)''
:'''Michelle''': Well, I’m not letting that fat furry fuck ruin the biggest day of my life.
:'''Erin''': What can we do?
''(Four of them listen to Michelle)''
:'''Michelle''': Right. Listen, girls. I’ve never told anyone this before, but sometimes, when Robbie’s being interviewed, it’s like he’s sending me messages through the TV, you know, like, telepathically or whatever. It’s like he’s saying we’re meant to be together.
:'''Erin''': Aye, maybe don’t tell that to anyone again, Michelle. Ever.
:'''Michelle''': Look, this is too important. I’m going to that concert. I’m not afraid of a fucking polar bear.
:'''Erin''': Me neither!
:'''James''': Nor me.
:'''Michelle''': Bastard!
:'''Orla''': I’ll kill it with my own two hands if I have to.
:'''Erin''': Bring it on!
:'''Michelle''': Yes!
:'''Clare''': Okay. We seem to have gone down a weird road here, people. I think we just got a bit confused. We don’t actually have to fight a polar bear. And if we did, I wouldn’t really fancy our chances because, well, they’re massive.
:'''Orla''': But there’s five of us so…
:'''Clare''': The point is the polar bear’s not the one stopping us going to the concert. It’s our mothers, and we’ll never get them to change their minds.
:'''Michelle''': We’re not gonna try and change their minds. We’re gonna do something else.
:'''James''': What?
:'''Michelle''': Lie our holes off.
----
:'''Rita''': Pop music isn’t really my thing, truth be told. It’s all so fucking soulless. Nah. I’m a classical head, all the way, but I’ve been banned from trading at Glyndebourne ever since I absolutely battered that Pavarotti fan. And when I say I battered, I mean intellectually, like. I did kick the shit out of him as well.

=== The Curse [2.04] ===
----
:'''Michelle''': You’re such a wreck-the-buzz, Clare.
:'''Clare''': Look, Michelle, drugs are illegal, drugs are addictive, but perhaps most importantly, in this country, you can lose your kneecaps if you’re caught doing them, and I like my kneecaps, Michelle. They suit my knees.
:'''Orla''': You do have cracking kneecaps, Clare.
:'''James''': Is that true?
:'''Erin''': Sort of.
----
:'''Sister Michael''': Father Thomas usually deals with the wakes, but he’s very sick at the moment. Bedridden, in fact.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': God! What caused it?
:'''Sister Michael''': Jack Daniels, mostly.
----
:'''Uncle Colm''': And now, I don’t mind a bit of a breeze – if anything, I prefer it – but thon was aggressive. So I says to myself, says I, “Colm, this is no day for a do.” 
:'''Sister Michael''': What’s happening?
:'''Uncle Colm''': For when the bride arrived – and as I say, by this stage the wind was fierce –
:'''Sister Michael''': Am I dead?
:'''Uncle Colm''': I’ve never heard wind like it. 
:'''Sister Michael''': Is this my wake?
:'''Uncle Colm''': Howling like a banshee, it was. 
:'''Sister Michael''': Am I in hell?
:'''Uncle Colm''': So the poor girl, the bride now, this is, she arrives anyway, and isn’t she no sooner out of the car than she’s lifted up in the air like a paper doll, and blown into a flowerbed.
:'''Sister Michael''': That’s actually quite funny.
----
:'''Clare''' What are we gonna do? What in under God are we gonna do?
:'''Michelle''': It’s fine.
:'''Clare''': It’s definitely not fine. There’s drug scones down there. If people eat the drug scones, then we’ve drugged those people, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': So? Drugging people isn’t a crime.
:'''James''': You’ve a very loose grasp of the law, Michelle.
:'''Erin''': What kind of person brings hash scones to a wake?
:'''Michelle''': Typical. I try and do a nice thing, and this is the thanks I get.
:'''Clare''': It’s terrible. There’s old people down there. What if an old person takes one?
:'''Michelle''': Why does everybody get so sentimental about old people? Old people are arseholes.
:'''Erin''': We have to get them back.
:'''Michelle''': Look, I’m not disagreeing with you. I bought that stuff so I could get high, not your great uncle Colm.
:'''Erin''': Christ, can you imagine?
:'''Orla''': Hold on a minute. Where did the scones go?
:'''Erin''': Okay, I’ll head for the kitchen and grab whatever’s still there. The rest of you look out for any ones that have gone rogue, and remember, be subtle.
----
:'''Michelle''': I can’t believe we’re doing this. It’s fucking heartbreaking.
:'''Erin''': Look, Granda’s had one, and now he’s acting really, really weird.
:'''Michelle''': You’re being paranoid, Erin.
:'''Erin''': He was nice to Daddy.
:'''Michelle''': Jesus!
:'''Erin''': Exactly! And if my ma starts asking questions…
:'''Michelle''': Your ma won’t trace it back to us.
:'''Erin''': Are you for real? She traces everything back to us. She traces things we haven’t even done, back to us.
:'''Clare''': Are you sure this will work?
:'''James''': This is how you get rid of drugs, Clare. I’ve seen GoodFellas, like, 20 times.
:'''Orla''': That’s not the only way. I watched this film once about this girl who was trying to hide drugs, and what she did was, she shoved them right up her--
:'''Michelle''': I’m not sticking a scone up my hole, Orla, I’ll tell you that for nothing.
:'''Clare''': Okay, I’m going to flush.
:'''Erin''': Go for it.
''(flushing multiple hash scones down the toilet; water gurgles in pipes)''
:'''Erin''': Is it working?
:'''James''': Of course it’s working.
''(Water seems to be rising)''
:'''Clare''': Is the water rising?
:'''Erin''': Jesus Christ! Why is the water rising, James?
:'''James''': I don’t know. The water didn’t rise in GoodFellas.
:'''Michelle''': Fuck! We’ve clogged it.
:'''Orla''': Who has a plunger?
:'''Erin''': I’m afraid I left the house without my plunger tonight, Orla.
:'''Orla''': Aye, me too. Nightmare, so it is.
:'''All''': Oh, whoa!

=== The Prom [2.05] ===
:'''Sister Michael''': Miss Cheung’s family have recently moved here to Derry so I hope you’ll all make her feel very welcome. It’s bound to be a bit of a culture shock, Mae. Things are done differently in this part of the world. But I’m sure you’ll soon feel as at home here as you did back in your beloved Donegal.
----
:'''Clare''': There she is. Okay, so I say we just over there and be ourselves, girls. Well, not totally ourselves. We should definitely be a bit ourselves. We could also pretend we’re sort of better than we actually are, so, I suppose what I’m saying is we could present a version of ourselves as less --
:'''Erin''': Crap.
:'''Clare''': Precisely.
:'''Michelle''': Why do we even have to talk to her?
:'''Clare''': Because she’s new, Michelle!
:'''Michelle''': Urgh! I hate people I don’t know.
:'''Clare''': And, in case you hadn’t noticed, she also happens to be Chinese. I mean, how class would it be to have a Chinese friend?!
:'''Orla''': We could keep her in my toy box.
:'''Erin''': No, we couldn’t, Orla.
:'''Orla''': Oh, she’d definitely fit.
:'''Erin''': That is not the point.
:'''Michelle''': Fine. But can we agree it’s on a strict one-in, one-out basis? If she joins the group, James has to leave.
:'''Clare''': Course!
:'''Erin''': Absolutely.
:'''James''': Excuse me?
:'''Clare''': ''(greets Mae in Chinese)''
:'''Mae Cheung''': Is she all right? 
:'''Michelle''': Burning for you, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I-It’s Cantonese.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Right. Well, I’m from Donegal and we speak English there.
:'''Michelle''': If you say so, Mae, but I spent the summer in Killybegs, and seriously? Not a fucking word.
:'''Clare''': We just wanted to introduce ourselves and --
:'''Mae Cheung''': Okay, I think I see where this is going. I get this a lot. Dull white girls wanting me to join their gang because, well…
:'''Erin''': We’re not dull.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Sure.
:'''James''': And I’m actually a boy.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Whoa. She has a really fucked-up accent.
:'''Michelle''': We know.
:'''Mae Cheung''': ''(sighs)'' What’s in this for me? What are you bringing to the table?
:'''Orla''': Cream crackers?
:'''Mae Cheung''': I’m good for cream crackers, thank you. I’ll see you around, girls. ''(She is about to leave)''
:'''Orla''': Maybe we don’t need a Chinese person. We’ve already got a lesbian.
:'''Mae Cheung''': What? Who?
:'''Clare''': Me.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Really? You don’t look like a lesbian.
:'''Clare''': What do you mean?
:'''Mae Cheung''': Just that you’re a bit…short.
:'''Clare''': Well, there’s no height restrictions… as far as I’m aware.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Interesting. I’ve always wanted a gay friend. I mean, ideally a fella.
''(Jenny and Aisling come to see them)''
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Howdy, folks!
:'''Michelle''': Christ.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': I’m Jenny. This is Aisling. We just thought we’d introduce ourselves and see if…
:'''Clare''': Too late, Jenny. She’s ours.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': I see. Look, these girls are great, but I do have a pen pal from the Caribbean, so, perhaps my circle is a little bit more diverse.
:'''Clare''': Back. Off.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Think it over. Give me a call. Oh, and FYI, the prom queen vote closes today.
:'''Michelle''': FY nobody gives a shit.
:'''Aisling''': Here’s the wee ballot.
:'''Erin''': I see you’ve thrown your hat into the ring, Jenny.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': I had my arm twisted, but feel free to tick my box.
''(They leave)''
:'''Michelle''': Dirty bitch.
----
:'''Michelle''': Well, this prom is going to be a full-blown dick-fest. You know, there isn’t even gonna be a DJ. Apparently, Jenny’s hired this fucking pensioner band.
:''':Erin''': Christ, really?
:'''Michelle''': I heard the drummer is at least 30.
:'''James''': I don’t feel so bad about missing it now. It clashes with my thing.
:'''Michelle''': The creep convention? Seriously?
:'''James''': It’s not a creep convention.
:'''Michelle''': Well, I think a load of perverts getting together to wank over some fella who fights with Hoovers and rides aliens in a telephone box, is the very fucking definition of a creep convention.
:'''James''': It's a Doctor Who night. Me and my stepdad used to watch it when I was little.
:'''Michelle''': Well, someone should have called social services then, James.
:'''Clare''': You’re not going to the prom then, James. Well, I was gonna ask you to be my date.
:'''James''': I’m sorry, Clare.
:'''Michelle''': You were gonna ask James to be your date? What the fuck’s wrong with you?
:'''Clare''': Well, it’s a bit more complicated for me.
:'''Michelle''': You’re a lesbian, Clare, not desperate.

=== The President [2.06] ===
:'''Mary Quinn''': When JFK came to Dublin, Uncle Colm met him, and Daddy didn’t.
:'''Granda Joe''': Things are gonna be different this time, I tell you.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': JFK spoke to Colm? Christ, that man didn’t have much luck, did he? 
----
:'''Clare''': Any word from Chelsea? 
:'''Erin''': Not yet. And we sent that letter over a week ago.
:'''Clare''': Are you sure you got the address right? 
:'''Orla''': Chelsea Clinton, the White House, America.
:'''Clare''': It just doesn’t make any sense.
:'''Michelle''': Did you send it first class? 
:'''Erin''': We’re not made of money, Michelle.
----
:'''James''': Look, Bill doesn’t even get here till four o’clock tomorrow.
:'''Michelle''': “Bill?” Who are you? His Ma? 
:'''James''': We’ve got plenty of time, is all I’m saying.
:'''Clare''': Do you know how packed that Guildhall Square is gonna be, James? You’d have to camp overnight just to get a glimpse of him.
:'''Erin''': Chelsea will sort us out.
:'''Clare''': Ach, I’m not even sure I trust Chelsea anymore.
:'''Michelle''': Aye, Chelsea might be flaky.
:'''Orla''': She does have crafty eyes.
:'''Erin''': Okay, I’m not comfortable with the Chelsea-bashing, girls.
----
:'''Dennis''': That’ll be £1.99.
:'''Clare''': Right.
:'''Dennis''': Is there some sort of a problem here, girls?
:'''Clare''': Not a problem, as such. More of a-a-a question, really.
:'''Dennis''': You think I’m here to answer questions, do you? Who am I, Magnus fucking Magnusson?
:'''James''': He doesn’t answer questions, he asks them.
:'''Dennis''': Pipe the fuck down.
:'''Erin''': It’s just, it’s pink, white and purple, Dennis.
:'''Dennis''': So? 
:'''Erin''': Well, it should be red, white and blue.
:'''Dennis''': Says who? 
:'''Michelle''': The rest of the world.
:'''Clare''': There’s also quite a few stars missing.
:'''Dennis''': No, there’s not.
:'''Clare''': There’s only 30 stars here. I mean, there should be 50, just because the stars represent states, so… 
:'''Dennis''': Some of them left.
:'''Erin''': Some states left? 
:'''Dennis''': That’s right.
:'''Erin''': Some states left America? 
:'''Dennis''': Yep.
:'''Michelle''': When did this happen? 
:'''Dennis''': The other day.
:'''Orla''': God, that’s desperate.
:'''Erin''': I don’t know, I just feel like if 20 states left the USA, we might have heard about it.
:'''Dennis''': Ah, they didn’t want to make it into a big thing. So these are the new, modern, up-to-date flags. They’ve just brought them out.
:'''Erin''': Okay. It’s just, well, I’m not convinced that’s actually true.
:'''Dennis''': Well, why would I lie? 
:'''Michelle''': Because you bought a fuckload of dud flags, and you’re trying to get rid of them.
:'''Dennis''': GET OUT!
:'''Erin''': ''(exiting the shop)'' What first attracted him to a career in retail, do you think?
----
:'''Clare''': You can’t leave, James. 
:'''James''': This was always gonna happen. This was never my real life. It was just something that got in the way of it.
:'''Erin''': What are you talking about? You love it here.
:'''James''': I’m not sure I do. I think I just developed Stockholm syndrome.
:'''Michelle''': Catch yourself on. You’ve never even been to Switzerland!
----
:'''James''': Anyway, it’s not like I belong here. I never did.
:'''Michelle''': That’s not true. You’re a Derry girl now, James.
:'''James''': Piss off.
:'''Michelle''': I’m serious. It doesn’t matter that you’ve got that stupid accent, or that your bits are different to my bits, well, because being a Derry girl, well, it’s a fucking state of mind. And you’re one of us.

== Series 3 ==
=== The Night Before [3.01] ===
''(Uilleann pipes play)''
:'''Erin''': They told us we were young, yet we understood the enormity of it. We understood what was at stake. Our fear was replaced with something altogether more terrifying… hope. Hope is so much worse. With hope you something to lose…
''(Tape rewinds; voice distorts)''
:'''Michelle''': Oh, for fuck’s sake! What’s happened now?
:'''James''': Your TV is such a piece of crap.
:'''Erin''': No, it’s not. Your camera’s the problem.
:'''James''': My camera’s top of the range!
:'''Michelle''': It’s true. His ma only sends him really expensive shit, you know, to make up for the fact that she doesn’t love him.
:'''James''': Michelle!
:'''Michelle''': Oh, sorry, that came out wrong. I meant… Nope, can’t think of any other way to put that.
:'''Orla''': That actor there looks so familiar.
:'''Erin''': That’s you, Orla.
:'''James''': We’re gonna have to reshoot this footage.
:'''Michelle''': No chance!
:'''James''': Oh, come on, Michelle! These kids from Germany made a short film about the Berlin Wall, and it won as Oscar!
:'''Michelle''': Aye, but they probably had, you know, talent. Look, we need to face the fact that we’ve spent the summer making something that’s really quite shite.
:'''James''': It’s not shit, Michelle! Well, the script might need a bit of work.
:'''Erin''': Do not start on the script again! The script is a masterpiece!
:'''Michelle''': The script is boring, Erin. It doesn’t make any sense. What’s it even about?
:'''Erin''': Peace!
:'''Michelle''': Urgh, I am so fucking sick of peace! It’s all anyone ever bangs on about. Okay, I think we should just cut our losses, and make a couple of fake videos for “You’ve Been Framed.”
:'''Orla''': Oh, I can fall down three flights of stairs without even hurting myself!
:'''Michelle''': It’s £250 a pop, people!
:'''James''': No!
:'''Clare''': Can I ask something?!
:'''Erin''': Yeah.
:'''Clare''': How much longer are we gonna ignore the elephant in the room?
:'''Orla''': Where?
:'''Clare''': It’s tomorrow, girls. Tomorrow! Christ, I feel sick.
:'''James''': Why? You’re gonna walk it, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I know that! I’m not worried about me, I’m worried about you four. If you fail your GCSEs the school won’t take you back. I don’t wanna have to make new friends from scratch, I’ll have enough on my plate with the A-levels! I’m just praying you lot will scrape by!
:'''Erin''': Now, that is very considerate of you, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I know!
----
:'''Erin''': “Try to enjoy what time we have left.” It doesn’t even make any sense.
:'''Clare''': It means we’ve failed, Erin. It means no GCSEs, ergo no A-levels, ergo no university, ergo the end!
:'''Michelle''': “Ergo” wise up, Clare.
:'''Erin''': You’re overreacting.
:'''Clare''': I knew I should have cut ties with you lot a long time ago.
:'''Erin''': It’s not our fault!
:'''Clare''': Of course it’s your fault! You’ve dragged me down to your level, your stupidity has finally rubbed off of me. I was a scholar when I met you, Erin, a scholar!
:'''Erin''': You were three!
:'''Clare''': Our lives are over.
:'''Erin''': I wouldn’t say our lives are over.
:'''Clare''': Passing those exams was our only chance. We’re girls, we’re poor, we’re from Northern Ireland and we’re Catholic, for Christ’s sake!
:'''Erin''': Oh, my God, she’s right! What type of future will we have?
:'''Michelle''': We don’t need to worry about the future, Erin. If we fail, well, our mas are gonna fucking wipe us out, and dead people don’t need jobs.
:'''Clare''': Oh, thank you, Michelle. that’s very reassuring!
:'''Erin''': How bad do you think is it? Do you think it’s, like, grounded bad, or…?
:'''Michelle''': Run-away-from-home bad.
:'''Erin''': Exactly.
:'''Orla''': And if it is run-away-from-home-bad, I’m afraid I will need my snorkel back, James.
:'''James''': Okay, let’s not panic…
:'''Clare''': Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
:'''James''': Let’s just wait until tomorrow, and see what we’re dealing with.
:'''Michelle''': Or…we can see what we’re dealing with tonight.
:'''Clare''': ''(hyperventilating)'' How?!

=== The Affair [3.02] ===
:'''Erin''': You said this was dicky, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': That was before the BBC Northern Ireland thing. This could be life-changing. You know, Pamela Anderson was just an ordinary girl at a football match when a roving camera stuck her on the big screen and then, boom.
:'''James''': Yeah, but she looks like Pamela Anderson.
:'''Michelle''': Okay, James, it’s hard for you to see it because we’re related, but I’m a ride. I am a massive fucking ride.
''(Aisling and Jenny come to see them)''
:'''Jenny''': Hey, guys. Not thinking of entering, are you?
:'''Michelle''': We might be.
:'''Jenny''': That’s cute.
:'''Aisling''': So cute.
:'''Erin''': Oh, bring it on, bitches.
''(Rock music is playing in the background)''
----
:'''Michelle''': I think the best thing we could do is just to get the routine on its feet.
:'''Erin''': I agree.
:'''Michelle''': I know we’re gonna smash this, girls. We are gonna lift that trophy. We are gonna perform live on the motherfucking BBC and we’re gonna wipe that smile off Jenny Joyce’s stupid face.
:'''Erin''': Yeah.
:'''James''': Let’s do it.
:'''Michelle''': Hit it!
''(James switches the portable player on but music dies)'' ''(Later in this scene)''
:'''Michelle''': How many times do I have to fucking explain it? It is two steps forward, two steps back. It couldn’t be any fucking simpler. What the fuck is wrong with you all?!
:'''James''': You’re the one that’s out of time!
:'''Michelle''': Say that again, James, and I will floor you. I will lay you out.
:'''Erin''': T think the first bit is pretty good.
:'''Michelle''': The first bit’s shite, Erin. You look like you’re being electrocuted, and what the fuck do you think you’re doing, Clare, the Haka? ''(groans)''
''(Clare storms out of the bedroom)''
:'''Michelle''': Fuck!
----
:'''Gabriel''': ''(Off-screen)'' Come on, Mary.
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(Off-screen)'' I can’t, Gabriel.
:'''Gabriel''': ''(Off-screen)'' No one needs to find out.
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(Off-screen)'' No, look, look, it’s not like I’m not flattered.
''(Clare is sneaking up slowly and stops and stares at them)''
:'''Gabriel''': You call me when you change your mind.
:'''Mary Quinn''': When? You’re sure of yourself.
:'''Gabriel''': I know how to get what I want. ''(closing the door behind Mary Quinn)''
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Mary, I’ve got a bit of a vegetable situation going on here.
:'''Mary Quinn''': I’m coming!
----
''(Clare heads back to the bedroom to see them)''
:'''Erin''': It’s not my fault your choreography is pedestrian, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': Kiss my actual hole, Erin.
:'''James''': Look, I think we all just need to calm down.
:'''Erin and Michelle''': Piss off, James!
''(Clare knocks at the door; music stops)''
:'''Orla''': Okay, that, is it? I’m going solo.
''(Clare knocks again)''
:'''Michelle''': Oh, Christ, here we go.
:'''Erin''': Screwdriver.
:'''James''': Um, bell. Apron.
:'''Michelle''': Fanny. Big fanny? Fanny pain.
:'''Clare''': The plumber was trying to get off with Erin’s ma! The plumber was trying to get off with Erin’s ma, and now I need to give all of my sponsorship money back.
:'''James''': We’re gonna need more details, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I saw them together in the hall. He was whispering things to her, you know, suggestive things.
:'''Erin''': My ma? He was coming onto my ma? What is he, some sort of reverse pedophile?
:'''Michelle''': I bet Mary told him where to go.
:'''Clare''': Not exactly.
----
''(Horn honks)''
:'''Erin''': Couldn’t you speed up a wee bit?
:'''James''': No, I couldn’t!
:'''Clare''': Are we even moving?
:'''James''': I simply will not negotiate when it comes to road safety.
----
:'''Peter''': Please welcome to the stage, Erin, Orla, Clare, Michelle and James.
''(Applause)''
:'''Peter''': The act you’re going to perform for us tonight, well, they’re absolutely huge.
:'''Michelle''': That’s right, Peter.
:'''Peter''': Matthew.
:'''Michelle''': Matthew! Shit! I got it right in rehearsals, I just…
:'''Peter''': It doesn’t matter.
:'''Michelle''': No, I fucked it.
:'''Peter''': Okay. Give us some clues, girls.
:'''Orla''': Well, Peter… They are English, but we still like them.
:'''Clare''': They’re also probably better known by their nicknames.
:'''Peter''': Which are? And I think this just might give it away now.
:'''Erin''': Ginger! Baby! Sporty! Scary and Posh!
:'''All''': Tonight, Matthew, we’re gonna be The Spice Girls!
:'''Peter''': Girl power!
''(Applause)''

=== Stranger on a Train [3.03] ===
''(Clare and Sister Michael are waiting for the time)''
:'''Clare''': ''(clears her throat)''
:'''Sister Michael''': Here we go.
:'''Clare''': Ah! Sister Michael. Hi.
:'''Sister Michael''': Clare.
:'''Clare''': I wasn’t sure you saw me.
:'''Sister Michael''': No, no, I did.
:'''Clare''': Right. ''(thinking for a moment)'' Heading to Portrush?
:'''Sister Michael''': Yep.
:'''Clare''': Anything nice planned?
:'''Sister Michael''': No.
:'''Clare''': Okay.
:'''Ticket Seller''': ''(talking to Conor on her phone)'' I just don’t see the point. Can we just move on? All right, Conor. The truth is, you never satisfied me sexually.
:'''Clare''': Oh, please no.

=== The Haunting [3.04] ===
:'''Clare''': We had plans tonight.
:'''Michelle''': We can turn our jeans into hot pants any day of the week. We’re talking about a free house here, Clare, a free house. We’re gonna be drinking, dancing and riding.
:'''Erin''': Quick question on the old riding front there.
:'''Michelle''': Go on?
:'''Erin''': Who exactly will we be doing that with?
:'''Michelle''': Young hot farmers. Donegal is coming down with them. Big strapping lads ripped to fuck from all the turf collecting.
:'''Clare''': Oh, don’t worry about me.
:'''Michelle''': There’s actually quite a few lesbians as well, Clare.
:'''Clare''': Lesbian farmers? Really?
:'''Michelle''': Lesbian farming is actually huge in the Republic. We’ll get you sorted, don’t worry.
:'''James''': What about me? Could we pick me up a girl?
:'''Michelle''': Can we pick you up a girl?
:'''Erin''': Like she’s a thing?
:'''Orla''': ''(in the van)'' Yeah, that is so out of order, James.
:'''James''': I didn’t mean… I-I just thought…
:'''Michelle''': Well, you thought wrong, James.
:'''James''': Sorry.
:'''Michelle''': Get in the van. ''(exasperate sigh)'' Dirtbag.
----
:'''Michelle''': Arh! Where the hell are we?
:'''James''': I’ll ask this woman. ''(to Sheila)'' Excuse me? Sorry to bother you.
:'''Sheila''': ''(speaking in Irish)''
:'''James''': Jesus, is she having a stroke?
:'''Erin''': She is an Irish speaker, James.
:'''James''': Oh, why can’t everyone just speak English?
:'''Michelle''': Well, your crowd had a good stab at forcing the entire world to, but we didn’t really enjoy it much, James. Imperialist prick!
:'''James''': Can anyone ask her where this place is?
:'''Clare''': Hmm, my Irish isn’t the best. I decided to keep on French and German, because I though it would give me more options if I wanted to, like, study abroad or whatever.
:'''Michelle''': We’re not filling in your fucking UCAS from here, Clare.
:'''Sheila''': ''(speaking in Irish)''
:'''Michelle''': What’s she saying?
:'''Sheila''': ''(speaking panicky in Irish)'' ''(speaking warningly in Irish)''
:'''Michelle''': Just drive, James. Slan!
:'''Erin''': Slan!

=== The Reunion [3.05] ===
:'''Erin as Mary''': I suppose he’s right to be nervous. About the boys’ school being here, I mean.
:'''Orla as Sarah''': Why, Mary?
:'''Erin as Mary''': Tonight’s gonna be wild, Sarah!
''(“Ladies Night” by Kool &amp; The Gang is playing)''

=== Halloween [3.06] ===
''(“Gangster Trippin” by Fatboy Slim is playing)''
''(So Erin, Orla, Clare, Michelle and James are getting ready and being dressed up as Angels)''
''(Music distorts and stops)''
:'''Mary Quinn''': What are you supposed to be? Swans?
:'''Erin''': We’re not swans?
:'''Orla''': Are we not?
:'''Clare''': We’re angels.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Angels don’t use crutches.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': And swans do?
:'''Granda Joe''': You’re a swan expert now, are you?
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Yeah, that’s precisely what I said.
:'''Mary Quinn''': God love you, son. Imagine beating you up just cause you like Slimboy Fat.
:'''James''': Yeah, I still can’t quite believe it myself, actually.
''(Car horn beeps)''
:'''Clare''': That’ll be Daddy!
''(They all look out to see Daddy in the car)''
:'''Orla''': Ah, I love his wee toy car.

=== The Agreement [3.07] ===
:'''Little Boy''': 10p mix please.
:'''Michelle''': That’ll be twelve pence.
:'''Little Boy''': Twelve pence for a 10p mix?
''(Dennis appears from below the counter)''
:'''Dennis''': It’s called inflation dickhead.
:'''Michelle''': Now, GET OUT!
----
:'''Michelle''': What was the face all about?
:'''Erin''': What face?
:'''Michelle''': Earlier, when Dennis was talking about Niall you did a face.
:'''Erin''': I didn’t do a face.
:'''Michelle''': You did a face Erin. You did a face like this.
:'''Erin''': I…would never do that face. I couldn’t do that face. That face isn’t even in my repertoire.
:'''Michelle''': Oh, it’s in your repertoire alright, I’ve seen you whip it out over a dozen times, usually when you find something hard to believe. What was hard to believe Erin?
:'''Erin''': It was just when you said that you didn’t want to get your hopes up.
:'''Michelle''': Yeah! 
:'''Erin''': You don’t actually think he should get out do you? 
:'''Michelle''': He’s me brother.
:'''Erin''': He killed someone.
:'''Michelle''': I know that Erin.
:'''James''': I’m not sure we should be talking about this.
:'''Erin''': Isn’t this exactly what we should be talking about? I mean we have to vote on it.
:'''Michelle''': It wasn’t supposed to happen the way it did. 
:'''Erin''': I’m sure that poor man’s family takes great comfort in that.
:'''Michelle''': These things, they’re not black and white Erin.
:'''Erin''': Aren’t they?
:'''Michelle''': Nothing about this place is! 
:'''Erin''': Well I think the fact that you shouldn’t kill people is pretty black and white!
:'''Clare''': Awkward, awkward, awkward, oh God it’s so awkward.
:'''Michelle''': Fuck off Erin. And what would you know anyway, you’re nothing but a spoiled, selfish, sheltered wee brat.
''(Michelle storms out)''
----
:'''Michelle''': You know I’ve never even visited Niall. Me Mam wouldn’t let me, she wouldn’t let any of us. She won’t even say his name any more. He had a son, the man, he had a teenaged son. We found that out later.
:'''Erin''': I'm sorry Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': You weren’t wrong. I mean you weren’t right either. There’s no answer to any of this is there? 
:'''Erin''': No, I don’t think there is you know. 
:'''James''': Do you want to get out of here?
:'''Orla''': Can we take that wee tiny horse? No.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:UK sitcoms]]
[[Category:Channel 4 (UK) shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Teen sitcoms]]
[[Category:Single-camera sitcoms]]
[[Category:TV shows set in Northern Ireland]]</text>
      <sha1>188tdf6erxu4h6qln28aj1ijp6gu1fs</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943987</id>
      <parentid>3943986</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T16:49:19Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-22475-30</username>
        <id>3310494</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* The Prom [2.05] */</comment>
      <origin>3943987</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="70216" sha1="rlzd7oly2p7m0xrg1160joexogk91jh" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Derry Girls|Derry Girls]]''''' is a British teen sitcom created and written by [[w:Lisa McGee|Lisa McGee]]. Produced by [[w:Hat Trick Productions|Hat Trick Productions]], it is set in [[w:Derry|Derry]], [[w:Northern Ireland|Northern Ireland]] in the 1990s. The first series was broadcast in January and February 2018 on [[w:Channel 4|Channel 4]]. The second series was shown in March and April 2019.

== Series 1 ==
=== Children of the Crossfire [1.01] ===
:'''Erin''': I won’t put up with it anymore. Teenagers have rights now, you know.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Don’t be ridiculous.
:'''Erin''': They do, Ma. It’s true. Sure, Macaulay Culkin might be divorcing his parents.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Do you hear this? This’ll be someone she met at that stupid summer scheme you insisted we send her on. Her bloody “Friends Across the Barricades” thing. I have nothing against Protestants, I’m all for integration, I am, but if they’re letting their weans divorce them…
:'''Erin''': Macaulay Culkin isn’t a Protestant, Ma.
:'''Mary Quinn''': It’s only gonna give our weans ideas.
:'''Erin''': Well, he might be. I didn’t meet him at Friends Across the Barricades.
:'''Mary Quinn''': I don’t care where you met him. You’re not to see him again. Understood?
----
:'''Granda Joe''': Them weans shouldn’t have to take the bus to school. You should be driving them, you useless shite.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I have to work, Joe.
:'''Granda Joe''': Work? ''(chuckles)'' Is that what you call it?
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Yes.
:'''Granda Joe''': Why don’t you just leave my Mary alone?
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Because we’ve been married for 17 years, Joe. We have two children. And because we’re in love with each other.
:'''Erin''': Oh, boke.
:'''Granda Joe''': I’ll find some dirt on you yet, boy. I’ve got people working on it.
----
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Well, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m not enjoying this bomb.
:'''Joe Quinn''': Shocking.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Desperate.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Disgusting and disgraceful. I have an appointment in Tropicana at 12:00. Fifteen minutes in the stand up. But sure I’ll not get over the bridge at this rate. It’s going to play havoc with my build-up. This is what they want. They want ordinary people to suffer. This is what it’s all about.
:'''Erin''': I’m pretty sure interfering with your sunbed sessions isn’t very high up on anyone’s political agenda, Aunt Sarah.
----
''(The girls are not wearing their denim jackets over their blazers as agreed)''
:'''Clare''': What’s all this? I thought we were going to be individuals this year.
:'''Erin''': Look, I wanted to, Clare, but my Ma wouldn’t let me.
:'''Clare''': Well, I’m not being individual on my own!
''(Takes off jacket)''
----
:'''Erin''': Who owns the fella?
:'''Michelle''': Me. Well, come on, then, ball-ache. Are you introducing yourself, or what?
:'''James''': Hi. I’m Michelle’s cousin, James.
:'''Orla''': Why’s he making that funny noise?
:'''Michelle''': He’s English, Orla. That’s the way they talk. He’s my Auntie Kathy’s wean. I told you about my Auntie Kathy. She went to England years ago to have an abortion. Never came back. Never got the abortion, either. Lucky for you, James, eh? Ha!
:'''James''': I didn’t actually know that.
----
''(British soldiers board the school bus)''
:'''James''': What’s going on?
:'''Michelle''': I don’t know. But do you think if I told him I had an incendiary device down my knickers, he’d have a look?
:'''Erin''': Michelle, he’s a soldier.
:'''Michelle''': Ach, some of them are rides. I’m willing to admit it, even if nobody else will, because I’m a beacon of truth, Erin.
:'''Erin''': You’re a mouth, that’s what you are.
----
:'''Erin''': Please, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': No. I have no interest in David Donnelly’s spazzmo band. ''(eating Quavers)''
:'''Clare''': They look nice.
:'''Erin''': I can’t go on my own.
:'''Clare''': Are they nice?
:'''Michelle''': Bring Bobby Sands.
:'''Clare''': Sure, how could I go? I’m so weak I can barely walk.
:'''Michelle''': What about Orla?
:'''Erin''': Orla’s…
:'''Orla''': I love my wee fingers.
:'''Erin''': Orla’s mental. Come on, Michelle. I’m begging you. It’s my big chance with David. I’d do it for you.
:'''Michelle''': Fine! But we both know you’re gonna just sit in the corner like a frigid fuck.
:'''Erin''': I’m not frigid.
:'''Orla''': You’ve never even kissed a boy before. You practice on your pillow sometimes, but you don’t think that’s the same.
:'''Erin''': The reading of the diary was bad enough. I could do without the quoting it from memory.
:'''James''': Michelle, would you mind showing me where the toilet is?
:'''Michelle''': You are really starting to do my head in, do you know that?
''(PA chimes)''
:'''Woman''': Will the following pupils please report to Sister Michael’s office immediately? Erin Quinn, Orla McCool, Clare Devlin, Michelle Mallon, and the wee English fella. Thank you.
:'''Michelle''': I wonder what that could be about.
----
:'''Mary Quinn''': Erin, what in God’s name? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Did you kill that wee nun, girls? 
:'''Erin''': Of course we didn’t!
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Then why were you pissing on her dead body and making sandwiches? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Say nothing, girls. Say nothing till we’ve seen a lawyer.
----
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': Sorry I’m late, Sister. Couldn’t get over the bridge. This bloody bomb. I begged the Brits to let me take my chances, but the awkward bastards made me go the long way.
----
:'''Mr. Devlin''': Sorry to keep you waiting, Sister. How long does it take to defuse a fecking bomb? Sure the wee robots do all the work. Oh, killing nuns now, is it? 
:'''Clare''': I didn’t, Daddy!
:'''Mr. Devlin''': You wait until your mother hears about this.
----
:'''Sister Michael''': Obviously, Sister Declan’s death was extremely shocking and unexpected. We’re still struggling to understand exactly what happened.
:'''Erin''': Yeah? Can I just ask, what age was Sister Declan? 
:'''Sister Michael''': She’d have been 98 on Friday.
:'''Erin''': Right. Might that shed some light on the situation? 
:'''Sister Michael''': How so? 
:'''Erin''': Does anybody else have any thoughts on the whole “her being almost 98 years of age” thing?
:'''Granda Joe''': Struck down in her prime.

=== Part-Time Job [1.02] ===
:'''Sister Michael''': On Monday morning, several of our Year 13s will face their GCSE maths resit. Now, I know how daunting resit examinations can be, so if anyone is feeling anxious or worried, or even if you just want to chat, please, please, do not come crying to me.
----
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Okay, that is one portion of redfish, one portion of whitefish, two bags of chips – 
:'''Granda Joe''': No, no, no! Two bags won’t be enough.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Two’s plenty, Joe.
:'''Granda Joe''': Four! Four should cover it.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Three, then. We’ll compromise.
:'''Granda Joe''': I’ll compromise you through that window.
:'''Mary Quinn''': That’s enough, Da.
:'''Granda Joe''': The tight bastard’s trying to starve us all, Mary!
----
:'''Erin''': Any luck with the trust fund?
:'''Clare''': No. According to my mam, we’re actually quite poor.
:'''Erin''': Aye, I think we might be as well.
----
:'''Uncle Colm''': There was a knock at the door, this must have been, ach, we’re talking eight, half eight, for I was halfway through me dinner. And up I got to open it, and there they both were, large as life. And the taller fella, though, to be fair, there was no more than an inch in it.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Jesus wept.
:'''Uncle Colm''': The slightly taller fella, he says to me, says he, “Do you know who we are?” 
:'''Granda Joe''': How’s a body supposed to enjoy his dinner? 
:'''Uncle Colm''': And I says to him, says I, “Well, I can’t be sure now, but maybe if you took off the balaclavas.” And then he says to me, the slightly taller fella does, he says, “Step aside. We are armed.”
:'''Orla''': Class.
:'''Uncle Colm''': And that’s when the smaller fella, although, as I say, we are talking an inch…
:'''Erin''': Mammy, make it stop.
:'''Uncle Colm''': …an inch and a half at most.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': I need a drink.
:'''Uncle Colm''': He has the bright idea of tying me to the radiator, you see. And I remember saying to myself, says I, “Colm, it’s a good job you have the Economy 7 on the old timer, or you’d be roasted here.”
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Did you go for the Economy 7 in the end, Colm? I thought you said the hot water settings were a minefield? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': For the love of God, Sarah, no diversions, please.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Aye, come on, let’s pick it up. They tied you to the heater.
:'''Uncle Colm''': They did indeed. And there I am, shackled to the thermostatic valve with me new shoelaces, when one of them, the smaller fella, or, hang on, maybe it was the--
:'''Gerry Quinn''': It doesn’t matter, Colm.
:'''Uncle Colm''': Well, it was one of the two. He’s looking for the keys to the van, all ranting and raving and getting himself all worked up, threatening to set fire to my good chaise lounge and all sorts. By Jesus, they were absolutely desperate to borrow thon van.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Colm, they didn’t borrow your van. They stole your van, used it to move arms across the border, and then they blew it up.
:'''Uncle Colm''': Aye. Nightmare altogether.
----
:'''Clare''': You will never guess what she’s done this time, Erin.
:'''Erin''': Did she nick the noticeboard from the chip shop, Clare?
----
:'''Erin''': So, firstly we have the tutoring. And out of everyone, I thought you might be best suited to that, Clare, because--
:'''Clare''': I’m the brightest.
:'''Erin''': Well, in that conventional sort of way, I suppose. There’s also some babysitting. The child will be in bed, so you should just about be able to manage that, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': Oh, thanks. And you should just about be able to manage this.
:'''Erin''': Always the lady. There’s also some gardening, mowing a lawn, et cetera. This will require a bit of muscle, so… you should take that one, Orla.
:'''James''': No, I should do that one. It’s a man’s job, Erin. I’m a man.
:'''Michelle''': That’s debatable.
:'''James''': Well, I’m more of a man than Orla.
:'''Orla''': I do not accept that.
:'''James''': Come on, Erin.
:'''Erin''': Fine. So that leaves dog-walking and washing a car.
:'''Orla''': Is it a Renault Clio?
:'''Erin''': No.
:'''Orla''': I’ll take the dogs.
:'''Erin''': Okay.
''(“Little Green Bag” by George Baker Selection is playing)''
:'''Erin''': Let’s go to work.
----
:'''Clare''': It’s slave labor, Erin!
:'''Orla''': It’s worse than slave labor. We’re not even getting paid!
----
''(They all walk upstairs to see what is going on; Michelle is doing the yoga)'' ''(“No Limit” by 2 Unlimited is playing)''
:'''Michelle''': All right?
''(But Erin stops the music)''
:'''Michelle''': Boo!
:'''Clare''': Where’d you get all this?
:'''Michelle''': Fionnula’s cupboard. I think she might have a bit of a problem.
:'''Erin''': You think Fionnula might have a bit of a problem? Put it away and get back downstairs, now.
:'''Michelle''': Sit yourselves down. Have a wee drink.
:'''Clare''': No, Michelle. It’s wrong.
:'''Michelle''': So are those ski pants, Clare, but that didn’t stop you pulling them over your hole this morning. Wait for it. ''(She starts lighting the scented candles of the alcohol)''
:'''Clare''': Michelle!
:'''Michelle''': Don’t be a shower of bore bags. ''(She carries the scented candles)'' Sláinte, motherfuckers.
:'''Erin''': No, no, no, no!
:'''Michelle''': Fuck, fuck, fuck! ''(She accidentally drops the scented candles on the floor which makes the fire spreads on the floor to the curtains)''
----
''(After tying Orla, Clare and Michelle to the radiators, Aunt Sarah and Mary Quinn tie James and Erin at the radiators)''
:'''Erin''': Why would two gunmen break into a chippy?
:'''James''': Ah! That really hurt.
:'''Michelle''': You’re such a pussy.
:'''Erin''': What were they looking for?
:'''Orla''': Chips, obviously.
:'''Mary Quinn''': They were looking for the keys to the van. Keep up, Erin.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Do you think we should knock them about a bit?
:'''Mary Quinn''': No.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Nothing drastic. Just a few slaps.
:'''Mary Quinn''': I said no, Sarah.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': What, not even the wee gay fella?
:'''James''': I’m not gay.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Okay, that should do it. Ready?
:'''Clare''': I hate to be a health and safety stickler, but surely you’re not actually planning on leaving us like this, are you?
''(They hear the door slamming)''
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(whispering)'' Back door. Back door. Back door. Hurry up.
''(Mary Quinn and Aunt Sarah leave)'' ''(“La Mer” by Charles Trenet is playing)'' ''(Fionnula returns back realizing what happened to these curtains)''
:'''Clare''': ''(gasps)''
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(whispering)'' Push it, push it.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': I’m pushing! I’m pushing it!
:'''Mary Quinn''': Hurry up!
:'''Aunt Sarah''': It’s locked!
''(They all come back to see Fionnula)''
:'''Fionnula''': What the fuck’s going on here, exactly?!
:'''Mary Quinn''': Okay… Um, all right. Well, what happened was… ''(pointing to Michelle)'' Michelle was carrying this scented candle…
''(“Never Gonna Get It” by En Vogue is playing)''
:'''Granda Joe''': It’s just not as nice.

=== The Miracle [1.03] ===
:'''Clare''': Sweet suffering Jesus. It’s the morning already?! What are we gonna do?
:'''Michelle''': Well maybe we could start with calming the fuck down.
:'''Clare''': Calm down? We’re still on William of Orange, Michelle! We haven’t so much looked at the famine! 
:'''Michelle''': We’ve got the gist. They ran out of spuds. Everyone was raging.
:'''James''': Well, I can’t tell my rebellions from my risings.
:'''Michelle''': And whose fault’s that? If your lot had stopped invading us for five fucking minutes, there’d be a lot less to wade through! You English prick.
----
:'''Erin''': It’s abuse. That’s what it is. It’s abusive. Does anybody have 10p? I’m ringing Childline.
:'''Michelle''': You can’t ring Childline every time your ma threatens to kill you, Erin.
:'''Clare''': Yeah, you can’t waste Esther’s time like that.
:'''Michelle''': And anyway, you’re not alone We’re all gonna fail. We’re all gonna get our holes kicked, and we’re all in the same boat.
:'''Clare''': I don’t wanna be in that boat! I wanna be in a different boat, sailing down a totally different river!
:'''James''': Guys, all we can do is try our best.
:'''Michelle''': Ach, don’t be such a fruit, James!
:'''Erin''': Oh, my God! Look!
''(They all stare at the dog stroked by the army)''
:'''Erin''': Doesn’t that dog look like Toto?
:'''James''': Oh, I suppose it does a bit, yeah.
:'''Erin''': Looks exactly like him. Here, boy! ''(running over to him)'' Come here, boy! Here, boy! Come here, boy! Here, boy! Come here! Here, boy! Here, boy!
----
:'''Sister Michael''': ''(on the phone)'' Could you put me through to Sister Thomas, please? Tommy! How are you? Yeah, not too bad. A retreat? ''(tuts)'' I dunno. I have judo on Friday. Don’t like to miss it. Now, I’ll tell you why I’m ringing you. So we’ve had an alleged apparition here this morning. Well, it’s in the weeping statue category. Sure, I know. Yeah, apparently there was a smirk as well. ''(chuckles)'' I mean, I’m not sure what Our Lady of the Sorrows has to be smirking about, but that’s by the by.
----
:'''Father Peter''': Directly before the weeping, can you remember what you were doing, what you were talking about?
:'''Michelle''': I remember that James was being a dick.
:'''Sister Michael''': Miss Mallon.
:'''Michelle''': I don’t like to use that word, Sister, but it’s so hard to describe James any other way, ‘cause he’s just such a dick.
:'''Father Peter''': I don’t think you’re a dick, James.
:'''James''': Really? 
:'''Father Peter''': Really. And you know who else doesn’t think you’re a dick? Our Lord.
:'''Sister Michael''': For feck’s sake.
:'''Michelle''': How do you know Our Lord doesn’t think he’s a dick? 
:'''Father Peter''': Our Lord doesn’t think anyone’s a dick.
:'''Michelle''': I very much doubt that.
----
:'''Mary Quinn''': I also have a question, pretty boy. Why are you encouraging all this? 
:'''Father Peter''': I wouldn’t say I’m encouraging it, I’m just open to the possibility.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Well, I’m not. Not unless I see some cold, hard evidence.
:'''Father Peter''': And maybe it’s there. Proof at last, Peter, proof at last.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Is he all right? 
:'''Sister Michael''': I wouldn’t say so, no. He’s a priest, like.

=== The Ukrainian [1.04] ===
:'''Granda Joe''': You don’t know a Jack McGinley, do you? Moved to Moscow, ‘88, ‘89, it would have been.
:'''Erin''': Seriously?
:'''Katya''': No.
:'''Granda Joe''': Stocky fella.
:'''Katya''': No.
:'''Granda Joe''': Curly hair, bit of a lisp.
:'''Katya''': I do not know this person.
:'''Granda Joe''': Ah, maybe just as well, love. He’s an awful prick.
----
:'''Erin''': So, Katya, I’ve done a bit of an itinerary for your stay. You should have received a copy in my last letter.
:'''Katya''': I don’t read your letters, Erin.
:'''Erin''': I’m sorry? I don’t follow.
:'''Katya''': Your letters, they bore.
:'''Erin''': They’re boring.
:'''Katya''': Exactly.
:'''Erin''': That’s not what I--
:'''Katya''': I can smoke here, yes?
:'''Erin''': No. No, you can’t. Mammy’s like a bloodhound.
''(Michelle, Clare and James peep in)''
:'''Michelle''': Your ma said we could come up and have a look at the Russian.
:'''Erin''': Ukrainian. 
:'''Michelle''': Is this her? 
:'''Orla''': Isn’t she cracker? She’s half mine.
:'''Erin''': No, she’s not, Orla.
:'''Orla''': Aye, she is. Mammy said so.
:'''Michelle''': You’re so lucky, Erin. I begged my ma to let me have one, but she said we’ve no room now that my dickhead, ball-bag, English prick of a cousin’s moved in. Talking about you, James, in case you’re wondering.
:'''James''': Yeah, that much was clear. Thank you, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': Have you seen the one Jenny Joyce got, the fella? Massive, massive ride. I’ve been thinking. Maybe time for me to lose the rest of my virginity. And he’s definitely a contender. You help me. You put in good word with your Cossack friend. So we can… ''(makes squishing sounds)''
:'''Erin''': Would you stop that?
:'''Clare''': I’m very sorry for all your trouble, you know, the whole hoo-ha at the power plant.
:'''Katya''': Okay.
:'''Clare''': When you think about it, we’ve actually got a lot in common ‘cause we understand what it’s like to be a young person from a troubled place.
:'''Katya''': Hm, it is not the same. Chernobyl was terrible nuclear accident. You people like to fight each other, and, to be honest, no person really understands why.
:'''Erin''': Well, there’s actually a political element to it, Katya, and there’s a religious element.
:'''Katya''': But you’re not two different religions here. You’re different flavours of same religion, no?
:'''Erin''': Well, yes, but… It’s a little bit more complicated than that, Katya.
:'''Katya''': To me, is stupid.
:'''Clare''': Oh, my God. It is stupid. It is so, so stupid.
:'''Katya''': Who is this?
:'''Erin''': Oh, that’s just James.
:'''Katya''': You are handsome.
:'''James''': ''(gasps)''
:'''Katya''': And also sexy.
:'''Michelle''': Is her English not great?
''(Katya stands up and kisses James)''
:'''Clare''': What’s happening?
:'''Erin''': Why would she do that? Why?
:'''Michelle''': Fuck knows. He’s minging.
:'''Orla''': She seems to be really enjoying it.
:'''Erin''': Is he enjoying it?
:'''Michelle''': It’s hard to tell.
:'''Clare''': Well, if he’s not enjoying it, isn’t that sort of sexual harassment?
:'''Erin''': Yeah, we should put a stop to it.
:'''Clare''': Aye.
:'''Orla''': Does anyone want a Fruit Pastille?
----
:'''Mary Quinn''': Have you any news, Da? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Not really, no.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Right. Shay Harkham was telling me you were in Duggan’s Bakery yesterday lunchtime.
:'''Granda Joe''': Well, that’s hardly news.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Two buns, he said you ordered.
:'''Granda Joe''': Well, I often do.
:'''Mary Quinn''': An apple turnover… and a cream horn.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': A cream horn? 
:'''Erin''': That’s not like you, Granda.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Sure, you couldn’t pay you to eat a cream horn.
:'''Granda Joe''': Cream finger, it was. Apple turnover and a cream finger.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Cream horn, Shay said. He swore on it, said he saw it being bagged up. 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': And Big Shay has eyes like a hawk, so he does. 
:'''Mary Quinn''': Shay said when you left Duggan’s, you turned up Pump Street.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Pump Street? Who do you know on Pump Street, Da?
:'''Mary Quinn''': What were you doing heading up Pump Street with a cream horn, Da? 
:'''Granda Joe''': I was visiting a friend of mine.
:'''Mary Quinn''': What friend? 
:'''Granda Joe''': A new friend.
:'''Mary Quinn''': A male friend, was it? Aye, I thought as much. Buying cream horns for his fancy woman, Sarah, what do you think of that?
----
:'''Granda Joe''': Maeve and me, we’re - We just get on well, that’s all.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Maeve? That’s her name, is it? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Yes, that’s right.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Maeve? That’s what she’s called, is she? 
:'''Granda Joe''': She is, aye.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Maeve? Maeve? Really? Maeve? I cannot believe this.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I think it’s a good thing, love.
:'''Granda Joe''': Just keep out of it, you! 
:'''Mary Quinn''': And that’s who you were winking at in Mass? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Winking? At your age? Christ, I feel sick.
:'''Granda Joe''': It was only a friendly wink.
:'''Mary Quinn''': There is no such thing as a friendly wink! 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Is there not? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': Our poor mother is barely cold and you’re straight back out there, winking away.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Your mother’s been dead ten years, Mary.
:'''Granda Joe''': Look, I’ll not tell you again!
----
:'''Michelle''': Shh! You’ll scare Clive! 
:'''Erin''': Who’s Clive? 
:'''Michelle''': Clive. Clive is a wee Prod from East Belfast. Clive came back from Ibiza, got on the wrong bus at Aldergrove Airport, then fell asleep. Clive woke up in Derry, surrounded by Russians and Fenians. Clive is absolutely shitting himself.
:'''Erin''': So where's the real Artem? 
:'''Michelle''': Giant’s Causeway, probably. Foreigners fucking love the Giant’s Causeway.

=== Holiday [1.05] ===
:'''Mary Quinn''': Already? It’s started already? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I think it’s just a rehearsal, love.
:'''Mary Quinn''': They’ve been playing the same three songs since 1795, what do they need to rehearse for? 
----
:'''Gerry Quinn''': You’re absolutely sure we need the big clock, love? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': We’ve been through this, Gerry.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Definitely don’t want to bring the wee clock? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': I can’t be doing with the wee clock! 
:'''Granda Joe''': What is your problem with the big clock? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I wouldn’t say I have a problem, as such, it’s just much heavier and takes up a lot of room.
:'''Granda Joe''': I’m telling you, Mary, that’s how it starts -- now he’s dictating what size of clock you can pack. Next he’ll be telling you what to wear, what to say. Before you know it, you’ll be faking your own death and assuming a new identity.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Erin, I told you not to let him watch that Sleeping With The Enemy.
:'''Erin''': Couldn’t stop him, Mammy.
:'''Granda Joe''': Great show.
----
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Listen, Mary, I just did a reading. The cards say if we go on this wee holiday, we’re placing ourselves in grave danger, which I’m not buzzing about, to be honest.
:'''Erin''': You’re not psychic, Aunt Sarah.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': I am psychic, Erin. I did a course. I got a certificate. Aye, this does not look good.
:'''Granda Joe''': Still no sign of the lottery numbers? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': No, Daddy. This psychic carry-on, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, you know? Last night, I woke up to this wailing sound. I thought to myself, “Jesus, it’s Granny Pat! She’s trying to cross over!” Now, it turned out it was only Aggie next door. She’d put the electric blanket on full whack and scalded the legs o’ herself. But still, it could just as easily have been – 
:'''Erin''': The disembodied spirit of a dead relative? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Exactly. My nerves are wrecked. I’m living on a knife’s edge here. Is there any Rice Krispies? 
----
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': Listen, Mary, I hate to do this to you, but me and Martin are both working nights and I’m nervous about leaving these two on their own. Don’t suppose there’s any chance you could take them with you? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': Ach, away, Deirdre, it’s just – 
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': The English thing? Listen, Mary, I understand. I mean, he’s my nephew, and even I find it hard to get past. If I’m totally honest, there’s times when I look at him and I feel… well, it’s pure hatred. I’ll not dress it up.
:'''Mary Quinn''': No, no, it’s not the English thing.
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': I hope to God it’s not the gay thing you’re offended by.
:'''James''': There is no gay thing.
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': Because I’d be disappointed in you, Mary, I’ll not lie.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Of course not. I mean, if anything, the gay thing sort of cancels out the English thing.
:'''James''': Again, no gay thing.
:'''Michelle''': You wouldn’t move over there, James? I can’t see past your massive closet.
----
:'''Jim''': Now, once your tent is erect, you’ll want to think about where to safely store your food, because believe me, girls, you do not want to attract predatory animals into your sleeping area. Bears are particularly vicious.
:'''Erin''': Yeah, I’m not sure how many bears there are in Portnoo, though, Jim.
:'''Orla''': But there was a cheetah on the beach one time.
:'''Erin''': That was a greyhound, Orla.
:'''Orla''': I know what I saw.
----
:'''Erin''': You can’t marry an Orangeman, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': That’s a pity, ‘cause I think there’s something really sexy about the fact that they hate us so much.
----
''(“Holiday” by Madonna is playing)'' ''(They all set off in the countryside)''
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I hope your father appreciates the fact that I was the one who got us out of that mess.
:'''Mary Quinn''': He won’t. Nobody back there actually believed you were a Japanese tourist, Gerry. They all thought you were a nutcase. They took pity on you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Dear God, no.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': What’s wrong?
:'''Mary Quinn''': I can’t find my purse.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I can see your purse right there.
:'''Mary Quinn''': No, no, that’s my sterling purse. I’m talking about my punt purse. I can’t find my punt purse, Gerry. Blessed Saint Anthony, the grace of God has made you the patron saint of all things lost and stolen. I turn to you this day with childlike love and deep confidence--
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Look, Mary, calm down--
:'''Mary Quinn''': Calm down, Gerry? We have no punts! We can’t go to the Free State without punts. We’re puntless. We haven’t a punt between us. Oh, God, I think… I think I’m having a panic attack. Oh, stupid punts.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Over this? So what happened back there was totally fine, but ''this'' is worth having a panic attack about?
:'''Mary Quinn''': You have to turn around.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': There is more chance of me eloping with your father to a flip-flop shop in Hawaii--
:'''Mary Quinn''': Look, okay, fine! But that means we won’t be able to buy anything, which means we’ll have no food, which means we’ll all starve to death. So, you know, on your head be it, Gerry. Oh, actually, do you know what? I think I put it in the suitcase.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': False alarm there, Saint Anthony. Sorry for troubling you.

=== The Wee Lesbian [1.06] ===
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Orla has got really into step aerobics. Her instructor says she’s a natural. Says she’s got what it takes to go all the way.
:'''Mary Quinn''': All the way in step aerobics? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': But it’s out of control now, Mary. She’s stepping morning, noon and night. Apart from anything else, it’s dangerous. She nearly came through the ceiling yesterday. Okay, she might be gifted, but I just want her to have a normal childhood.
----
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Er, look, I’m sorry. Do you absolutely need it? 
:'''Ciaran''': I’m afraid I do, sir, yes. Proof of ID.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': But you have my surname written on it there.
:'''Ciaran''': How do I know that’s your surname? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Because I just told you it was my surname.
:'''Ciaran''': You could be lying.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Why would I lie? 
:'''Ciaran''': To get your hands on someone else’s photos.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Why would I want somebody else’s photos? Like, who would pay for somebody else’s photos? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Stalker, maybe.
:'''Ciaran''': Yeah, exactly. Very good, sir. A stalker.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I’m not a stalker.
:'''Ciaran''': Look, why don’t you just go home and have a wee look for your wee docket? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': No. This is ridiculous. Just open that up and take out one of the photos. You see? That’s me wife there.
:'''Ciaran''': How do I know you’re not just telling me that? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Cos that’s me standing beside her.
:'''Ciaran''': I suppose you do look a bit like this man.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I am this man.
:'''Ciaran''': It could be you.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': It’s definitely me. My name is Gerry Quinn. This is my father-in-law, Joe. He can vouch for me.
:'''Granda Joe''': I’ve never seen this man before in my life.
----
:'''Sister Michael''': I’ve just received a phone call from Louise Kerr’s mother, and it’s not looking great.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Oh, God, I just can’t believe it.
:'''Sister Michael''': It’s unlikely she’ll be returning to school before the end of the year, so I think the only thing we can do now is --
:'''Aisling''': Pray for her? 
:'''Sister Michael''': No. What use would that do? No, I think the best thing we can do is decide who will fulfil the role of editor now.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Sister Michael, some of us have actually already discussed this eventuality, and the thing is, well, nobody is comfortable stepping into Louise’s shoes.
:'''Aisling''': It feels a bit, sort of, disrespectful.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': We think this issue should be cancelled.
:'''Sister Michael''': Well, fair enough, if nobody is willing to take her place.
:'''Erin''': I’ll do it.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Excuse me? 
:'''Erin''': I’ll take her place. I’ll step into her shoes. I’ll do it.
:'''Sister Michael''': Really? 
:'''Erin''': Absolutely.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': No, you can’t. We are making a statement. You’re ruining our statement!
:'''Erin''': Look, girls, I know Louise meant a lot to you all.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': She’s not dead, Erin!
:'''Erin''': Well, not yet. Hopefully she won’t, you know, die, but if she does, the show must go on! Isn’t that right, Sister Michael? 
:'''Sister Michael''': You terrify me.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': You can’t be the editor! 
:'''Aisling''': You’ve never even written an article, Erin.
:'''Erin''': That’s because I can’t get anything past Rupert Murdoch over there!
:'''Jenny Joyce''': This isn’t fair. You can’t let it happen, Sister!
:'''Sister Michael''': I know. But I’m bored now, so it looks like I probably will. Good luck, all.
----
:'''Erin''': This was written by a girl. A real life lesbian walks among us.
:'''Orla''': I don’t really believe in lesbians.
----
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Do you not think there’s an awful lot of lesbians about nowadays? You can’t move for lesbians. It’s wall to wall lesbians out there.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Really? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Oh, it’s true. Bridget Gallagher, she’s a lesbian.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Bridget Gallagher, who works in the post office? 
:'''Granda Joe''': I believe so.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Is she not a vegetarian, Da? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Sorry, you’re right. Vegetarian, Bridget is.
----
''(“Let’s Talk About Sex” by Salt-N-Pepa is playing)''
:'''Michelle''': Read all about the wee dyke.
:'''Erin''': We will not be censored!
:'''Orla''': Lesbians really do exist!
:'''James''': I support gays, even though I, myself, am not actually gay!
:'''Erin''': Come on, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I don’t wanna get involved. I’m sorry.
:'''Erin''': Coward!
----
:'''Sister Michael''': ''(after a choral performance)'' Lovely, altogether. You know, every year I sit backstage listening to the singers and it really makes me realize just how talented the professionals who originally recorded these tracks were.

== Series 2 ==
=== Across the Barricade [2.01] ===
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Will any of your crowd be going, love? 
:'''Clare''': My crowd? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Or can you not get Protestant lesbians?
:'''Clare''': No, I think you can get them all right, it’s just --
:'''Granda Joe''': I heard that k.d. lang on the radio yesterday. Christ, but she’s some set of pipes on her. You’re a very talented people.
:'''Clare''': Thank you?
----
:'''Michelle''': We’re doing it for peace, all right, Mary. A piece of that fine Protestant ass!
''(Erin and Michelle give a hi-five)''
:'''Clare''': God, you are such a hypocrite, Erin.
:'''Erin''': No, I’m not. I just don’t think there’s anything wrong with some cross-community… Fiddling…relations.
:'''Orla''': So, we need to head south-east for 0.5 Miles and you’ll receive further instructions shortly.
:'''Michelle''': We haven’t even left the estate yet, Orla. These Prods have some serious moves up their sleeves, you know. They’re not as fucked up about sex as we are. They’ve put the work in, they know what they’re doing.
:'''Clare''': They’re people, Michelle! They’re not sex toys!
:'''Michelle''': I beg to differ.
:'''James''': I’m really looking forward to making friends with some lads.
:'''Michelle''': Lads aren’t going to make friends with you, James. Lads make friends with other lads.
:'''James''': I am a lad.
:'''Erin''': Aye, so you are, James.
:'''Clare''': Okay, how much money do we have?
:'''Michelle''': Look, the riding of the Protestants is one thing, but I really don’t see why we have to buy them a present. I mean they already have all the land, all the jobs and all the fucking rights.
:'''Erin''': Aye, Michelle, that’s definitely the attitude we should have entering into this weekend.
----
:'''Dennis''': A present for Protestants. Ah, now my next Protestant gift delivery isn’t due to arrive until Wednesday. And as it stands, I’m completely out of stock, what with there being such a high fucking demand for that sort of thing around these parts.
:'''Orla''': That’s a shame.
:'''Clare''': How much for the Subbuteo, Dennis? 
:'''Dennis''': We’ll call it 16 quid.
:'''James''': Could we call it £1.76? 
:'''Dennis''': No, we fucking couldn’t.
:'''Erin''': How about we give you the £1.76 and we pay the rest off in installments? 
:'''Clare''': Yeah. Which would be what? £3.56 over four weeks? 
:'''Dennis''': Jesus, check out Rain Wean.
:'''Erin''': Or, you could give us the Subbuteo, and then we could work off the debt.
:'''Clare''': Yeah, we could do chores and stuff.
:'''Dennis''': Chores? What do you think this is? Little House on the fucking Prairie? 
:'''Orla''': Do you watch Little House on the Prairie, Dennis? 
:'''Dennis''': GET OUT! 
----
:'''Michelle''': ''(accepting a teddy bear from a Protestant boy)'' I’m going to keep mine on my bed, where I sleep. In me knickers.
----
:'''Father Peter''': As some of you may know, I took a bit of a sabbatical last year.
:'''Michelle''': Do you mean when you shacked up with a slutty hairdresser but then she dumped you? 
:'''Sister Michael''': Miss Mallon, please! Raise your hand if you want to ask a question.
:'''Father Peter''': Okay, I think we should just move on.
:'''Sister Michael''': The hairdresser certainly did.
----
:'''Protestant Boy''': She’s coming! 
:'''Michelle''': Who? 
:'''Protestant Boy''': The woman. The small angry penguin woman.
:'''Michelle''': Sister Michael! Shit! 
''(Sister Michael arrives)''
:'''Erin''': Oh, good evening, Sister. We just popped round because we had a few questions about the British Empire, which the boys have cleared up for us now, so… 
:'''Jenny Joyce''': They weren’t talking about the British Empire, Sister. They were having a party. I could hear the music.
:'''Sister Michael''': You will go far in life, Jenny. But you will not be well liked.

=== Ms De Brún and the Child of Prague [2.02] ===
:'''Sister Michael''': Sadly, Sister Patrick has decided to leave us. She’s returning to her missionary work, educating the heathen inhabitants of a primitive and savage place.
:'''Teacher''': She’s taken a teaching post in Belfast, Sister.
:'''Sister Michael''': Precisely.
----
:'''Uncle Colm''': And that’s not to say, now, that in my younger years, I didn’t enjoy a boiled sweet. But then I heard tell of a fella from Ballynahinch-- what was it his name was, now? I had it there a minute ago. Ach, it’ll come to me. Anyway, this Ballynahinch lad, and as I say, his name escapes me, but he was mad keen on the boiled sweets. Sure he couldn’t get enough of them. But in the end, well, didn’t he choke to death on one? A pear drop, I think it was. Or a clove rock, maybe. But either way, it’s not how I’d want to go.
----
:'''Erin''': Ms. De Brún is amazing. I’ve just never met anyone like her.
:'''James''': She’s an inspiration.
:'''Clare''': Absolutely.
:'''Michelle''': She really knows how to grab things by the balls.
:'''Clare''': Oh, yeah!
:'''Erin''': She’s changed my life, she really has.
:'''James''': She likes my accent.
:'''Orla''': I’d die for her.
:'''Erin''': I think I would too, you know.
:'''James''': Me too.
:'''Michelle''': Aye, fuck it, why not?
:'''Clare''': Yeah. I mean, obviously I totally agree. I’d die for her as well, but I’m also conscious of the fact we’ve only know her, like, two days.
:'''Erin''': And?
:'''Clare''': Well, is it a bit weird she’s invited us to her house at night?
:'''Erin''': What do you mean?
:'''Clare''': Well, she’s a teacher.
:'''Erin''': She’s much more than a teacher.
:'''Clare''': Yeah. No, obviously I get that. She’s great, but it’s just that I have a feeling it might be sort of frowned upon.
:'''Erin''': God, Clare, you’re so conditioned.
:'''Clare''': What’s that supposed to mean?
:'''Michelle''': It means you need to loosen the fuck up.
:'''Clare''': I am loose, thank you very much.
:'''Michelle''': Face it, Clare, you’re a craic killer.
:'''Clare''': I’m not a craic killer. I AM NOT A CRAIC KILLER!
----
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Well, well, well. What are you guys up to? 
:'''Erin''': Nothing much. 
:'''Clare''': We were just hanging out at Ms. De Brún’s house.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': You were at her house? At night? Well, that’s a bit inappropriate.
:'''Clare''': Your ma is a bit inappropriate.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': That doesn’t even make sense.
:'''Clare''': Your ma doesn’t even make sense.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Is she drunk? 
:'''Clare''': Your ma’s drunk.

=== The Concert [2.03] ===
:'''Aunt Sarah''': John’s really dying for peace, like, isn’t he? It’s all he ever goes on about. I hope it works out for him.
----
:'''Granda Joe''': Belfast! Sure, why don’t you just sell the wains into white slavery and be done with it? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': Gerry’ll be with them, Da.
:'''Granda Joe''': That’s worse! Sure, they hate his kind there.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': My kind? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Pricks.
----
:'''Erin''': Wise up, Mammy! As if a polar bear’s going to rock up at a Take That concert! 
:'''Orla''': He wouldn’t get a ticket, for a start. They sold out months ago.
----
''(They all go up stairs to the room)''
:'''Michelle''': Well, I’m not letting that fat furry fuck ruin the biggest day of my life.
:'''Erin''': What can we do?
''(Four of them listen to Michelle)''
:'''Michelle''': Right. Listen, girls. I’ve never told anyone this before, but sometimes, when Robbie’s being interviewed, it’s like he’s sending me messages through the TV, you know, like, telepathically or whatever. It’s like he’s saying we’re meant to be together.
:'''Erin''': Aye, maybe don’t tell that to anyone again, Michelle. Ever.
:'''Michelle''': Look, this is too important. I’m going to that concert. I’m not afraid of a fucking polar bear.
:'''Erin''': Me neither!
:'''James''': Nor me.
:'''Michelle''': Bastard!
:'''Orla''': I’ll kill it with my own two hands if I have to.
:'''Erin''': Bring it on!
:'''Michelle''': Yes!
:'''Clare''': Okay. We seem to have gone down a weird road here, people. I think we just got a bit confused. We don’t actually have to fight a polar bear. And if we did, I wouldn’t really fancy our chances because, well, they’re massive.
:'''Orla''': But there’s five of us so…
:'''Clare''': The point is the polar bear’s not the one stopping us going to the concert. It’s our mothers, and we’ll never get them to change their minds.
:'''Michelle''': We’re not gonna try and change their minds. We’re gonna do something else.
:'''James''': What?
:'''Michelle''': Lie our holes off.
----
:'''Rita''': Pop music isn’t really my thing, truth be told. It’s all so fucking soulless. Nah. I’m a classical head, all the way, but I’ve been banned from trading at Glyndebourne ever since I absolutely battered that Pavarotti fan. And when I say I battered, I mean intellectually, like. I did kick the shit out of him as well.

=== The Curse [2.04] ===
----
:'''Michelle''': You’re such a wreck-the-buzz, Clare.
:'''Clare''': Look, Michelle, drugs are illegal, drugs are addictive, but perhaps most importantly, in this country, you can lose your kneecaps if you’re caught doing them, and I like my kneecaps, Michelle. They suit my knees.
:'''Orla''': You do have cracking kneecaps, Clare.
:'''James''': Is that true?
:'''Erin''': Sort of.
----
:'''Sister Michael''': Father Thomas usually deals with the wakes, but he’s very sick at the moment. Bedridden, in fact.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': God! What caused it?
:'''Sister Michael''': Jack Daniels, mostly.
----
:'''Uncle Colm''': And now, I don’t mind a bit of a breeze – if anything, I prefer it – but thon was aggressive. So I says to myself, says I, “Colm, this is no day for a do.” 
:'''Sister Michael''': What’s happening?
:'''Uncle Colm''': For when the bride arrived – and as I say, by this stage the wind was fierce –
:'''Sister Michael''': Am I dead?
:'''Uncle Colm''': I’ve never heard wind like it. 
:'''Sister Michael''': Is this my wake?
:'''Uncle Colm''': Howling like a banshee, it was. 
:'''Sister Michael''': Am I in hell?
:'''Uncle Colm''': So the poor girl, the bride now, this is, she arrives anyway, and isn’t she no sooner out of the car than she’s lifted up in the air like a paper doll, and blown into a flowerbed.
:'''Sister Michael''': That’s actually quite funny.
----
:'''Clare''' What are we gonna do? What in under God are we gonna do?
:'''Michelle''': It’s fine.
:'''Clare''': It’s definitely not fine. There’s drug scones down there. If people eat the drug scones, then we’ve drugged those people, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': So? Drugging people isn’t a crime.
:'''James''': You’ve a very loose grasp of the law, Michelle.
:'''Erin''': What kind of person brings hash scones to a wake?
:'''Michelle''': Typical. I try and do a nice thing, and this is the thanks I get.
:'''Clare''': It’s terrible. There’s old people down there. What if an old person takes one?
:'''Michelle''': Why does everybody get so sentimental about old people? Old people are arseholes.
:'''Erin''': We have to get them back.
:'''Michelle''': Look, I’m not disagreeing with you. I bought that stuff so I could get high, not your great uncle Colm.
:'''Erin''': Christ, can you imagine?
:'''Orla''': Hold on a minute. Where did the scones go?
:'''Erin''': Okay, I’ll head for the kitchen and grab whatever’s still there. The rest of you look out for any ones that have gone rogue, and remember, be subtle.
----
:'''Michelle''': I can’t believe we’re doing this. It’s fucking heartbreaking.
:'''Erin''': Look, Granda’s had one, and now he’s acting really, really weird.
:'''Michelle''': You’re being paranoid, Erin.
:'''Erin''': He was nice to Daddy.
:'''Michelle''': Jesus!
:'''Erin''': Exactly! And if my ma starts asking questions…
:'''Michelle''': Your ma won’t trace it back to us.
:'''Erin''': Are you for real? She traces everything back to us. She traces things we haven’t even done, back to us.
:'''Clare''': Are you sure this will work?
:'''James''': This is how you get rid of drugs, Clare. I’ve seen GoodFellas, like, 20 times.
:'''Orla''': That’s not the only way. I watched this film once about this girl who was trying to hide drugs, and what she did was, she shoved them right up her--
:'''Michelle''': I’m not sticking a scone up my hole, Orla, I’ll tell you that for nothing.
:'''Clare''': Okay, I’m going to flush.
:'''Erin''': Go for it.
''(flushing multiple hash scones down the toilet; water gurgles in pipes)''
:'''Erin''': Is it working?
:'''James''': Of course it’s working.
''(Water seems to be rising)''
:'''Clare''': Is the water rising?
:'''Erin''': Jesus Christ! Why is the water rising, James?
:'''James''': I don’t know. The water didn’t rise in GoodFellas.
:'''Michelle''': Fuck! We’ve clogged it.
:'''Orla''': Who has a plunger?
:'''Erin''': I’m afraid I left the house without my plunger tonight, Orla.
:'''Orla''': Aye, me too. Nightmare, so it is.
:'''All''': Oh, whoa!

=== The Prom [2.05] ===
:'''Sister Michael''': Miss Cheung’s family have recently moved here to Derry so I hope you’ll all make her feel very welcome. It’s bound to be a bit of a culture shock, Mae. Things are done differently in this part of the world. But I’m sure you’ll soon feel as at home here as you did back in your beloved Donegal.
----
:'''Clare''': There she is. Okay, so I say we just over there and be ourselves, girls. Well, not totally ourselves. We should definitely be a bit ourselves. We could also pretend we’re sort of better than we actually are, so, I suppose what I’m saying is we could present a version of ourselves as less --
:'''Erin''': Crap.
:'''Clare''': Precisely.
:'''Michelle''': Why do we even have to talk to her?
:'''Clare''': Because she’s new, Michelle!
:'''Michelle''': Urgh! I hate people I don’t know.
:'''Clare''': And, in case you hadn’t noticed, she also happens to be Chinese. I mean, how class would it be to have a Chinese friend?!
:'''Orla''': We could keep her in my toy box.
:'''Erin''': No, we couldn’t, Orla.
:'''Orla''': Oh, she’d definitely fit.
:'''Erin''': That is not the point.
:'''Michelle''': Fine. But can we agree it’s on a strict one-in, one-out basis? If she joins the group, James has to leave.
:'''Clare''': Course!
:'''Erin''': Absolutely.
:'''James''': Excuse me?
:'''Clare''': ''(greets Mae in Chinese)''
:'''Mae Cheung''': Is she all right? 
:'''Michelle''': Burning for you, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I-It’s Cantonese.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Right. Well, I’m from Donegal and we speak English there.
:'''Michelle''': If you say so, Mae, but I spent the summer in Killybegs, and seriously? Not a fucking word.
:'''Clare''': We just wanted to introduce ourselves and --
:'''Mae Cheung''': Okay, I think I see where this is going. I get this a lot. Dull white girls wanting me to join their gang because, well…
:'''Erin''': We’re not dull.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Sure.
:'''James''': And I’m actually a boy.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Whoa. She has a really fucked-up accent.
:'''Michelle''': We know.
:'''Mae Cheung''': ''(sighs)'' What’s in this for me? What are you bringing to the table?
:'''Orla''': Cream crackers?
:'''Mae Cheung''': I’m good for cream crackers, thank you. I’ll see you around, girls. ''(She is about to leave)''
:'''Orla''': Maybe we don’t need a Chinese person. We’ve already got a lesbian.
:'''Mae Cheung''': What? Who?
:'''Clare''': Me.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Really? You don’t look like a lesbian.
:'''Clare''': What do you mean?
:'''Mae Cheung''': Just that you’re a bit…short.
:'''Clare''': Well, there’s no height restrictions… as far as I’m aware.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Interesting. I’ve always wanted a gay friend. I mean, ideally a fella.
''(Jenny and Aisling come to see them)''
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Howdy, folks!
:'''Michelle''': Christ.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': I’m Jenny. This is Aisling. We just thought we’d introduce ourselves and see if…
:'''Clare''': Too late, Jenny. She’s ours.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': I see. Look, these girls are great, but I do have a pen pal from the Caribbean, so, perhaps my circle is a little bit more diverse.
:'''Clare''': Back. Off.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Think it over. Give me a call. Oh, and FYI, the prom queen vote closes today.
:'''Michelle''': FY nobody gives a shit.
:'''Aisling''': Here’s the wee ballot.
:'''Erin''': I see you’ve thrown your hat into the ring, Jenny.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': I had my arm twisted, but feel free to tick my box.
''(They leave)''
:'''Michelle''': Dirty bitch.
----
:'''Michelle''': Well, this prom is going to be a full-blown dick-fest. You know, there isn’t even gonna be a DJ. Apparently, Jenny’s hired this fucking pensioner band.
:'''Erin''': Christ, really?
:'''Michelle''': I heard the drummer is at least 30.
:'''James''': I don’t feel so bad about missing it now. It clashes with my thing.
:'''Michelle''': The creep convention? Seriously?
:'''James''': It’s not a creep convention.
:'''Michelle''': Well, I think a load of perverts getting together to wank over some fella who fights with Hoovers and rides aliens in a telephone box, is the very fucking definition of a creep convention.
:'''James''': It's a Doctor Who night. Me and my stepdad used to watch it when I was little.
:'''Michelle''': Well, someone should have called social services then, James.
:'''Clare''': You’re not going to the prom then, James. Well, I was gonna ask you to be my date.
:'''James''': I’m sorry, Clare.
:'''Michelle''': You were gonna ask James to be your date? What the fuck’s wrong with you?
:'''Clare''': Well, it’s a bit more complicated for me.
:'''Michelle''': You’re a lesbian, Clare, not desperate.

=== The President [2.06] ===
:'''Mary Quinn''': When JFK came to Dublin, Uncle Colm met him, and Daddy didn’t.
:'''Granda Joe''': Things are gonna be different this time, I tell you.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': JFK spoke to Colm? Christ, that man didn’t have much luck, did he? 
----
:'''Clare''': Any word from Chelsea? 
:'''Erin''': Not yet. And we sent that letter over a week ago.
:'''Clare''': Are you sure you got the address right? 
:'''Orla''': Chelsea Clinton, the White House, America.
:'''Clare''': It just doesn’t make any sense.
:'''Michelle''': Did you send it first class? 
:'''Erin''': We’re not made of money, Michelle.
----
:'''James''': Look, Bill doesn’t even get here till four o’clock tomorrow.
:'''Michelle''': “Bill?” Who are you? His Ma? 
:'''James''': We’ve got plenty of time, is all I’m saying.
:'''Clare''': Do you know how packed that Guildhall Square is gonna be, James? You’d have to camp overnight just to get a glimpse of him.
:'''Erin''': Chelsea will sort us out.
:'''Clare''': Ach, I’m not even sure I trust Chelsea anymore.
:'''Michelle''': Aye, Chelsea might be flaky.
:'''Orla''': She does have crafty eyes.
:'''Erin''': Okay, I’m not comfortable with the Chelsea-bashing, girls.
----
:'''Dennis''': That’ll be £1.99.
:'''Clare''': Right.
:'''Dennis''': Is there some sort of a problem here, girls?
:'''Clare''': Not a problem, as such. More of a-a-a question, really.
:'''Dennis''': You think I’m here to answer questions, do you? Who am I, Magnus fucking Magnusson?
:'''James''': He doesn’t answer questions, he asks them.
:'''Dennis''': Pipe the fuck down.
:'''Erin''': It’s just, it’s pink, white and purple, Dennis.
:'''Dennis''': So? 
:'''Erin''': Well, it should be red, white and blue.
:'''Dennis''': Says who? 
:'''Michelle''': The rest of the world.
:'''Clare''': There’s also quite a few stars missing.
:'''Dennis''': No, there’s not.
:'''Clare''': There’s only 30 stars here. I mean, there should be 50, just because the stars represent states, so… 
:'''Dennis''': Some of them left.
:'''Erin''': Some states left? 
:'''Dennis''': That’s right.
:'''Erin''': Some states left America? 
:'''Dennis''': Yep.
:'''Michelle''': When did this happen? 
:'''Dennis''': The other day.
:'''Orla''': God, that’s desperate.
:'''Erin''': I don’t know, I just feel like if 20 states left the USA, we might have heard about it.
:'''Dennis''': Ah, they didn’t want to make it into a big thing. So these are the new, modern, up-to-date flags. They’ve just brought them out.
:'''Erin''': Okay. It’s just, well, I’m not convinced that’s actually true.
:'''Dennis''': Well, why would I lie? 
:'''Michelle''': Because you bought a fuckload of dud flags, and you’re trying to get rid of them.
:'''Dennis''': GET OUT!
:'''Erin''': ''(exiting the shop)'' What first attracted him to a career in retail, do you think?
----
:'''Clare''': You can’t leave, James. 
:'''James''': This was always gonna happen. This was never my real life. It was just something that got in the way of it.
:'''Erin''': What are you talking about? You love it here.
:'''James''': I’m not sure I do. I think I just developed Stockholm syndrome.
:'''Michelle''': Catch yourself on. You’ve never even been to Switzerland!
----
:'''James''': Anyway, it’s not like I belong here. I never did.
:'''Michelle''': That’s not true. You’re a Derry girl now, James.
:'''James''': Piss off.
:'''Michelle''': I’m serious. It doesn’t matter that you’ve got that stupid accent, or that your bits are different to my bits, well, because being a Derry girl, well, it’s a fucking state of mind. And you’re one of us.

== Series 3 ==
=== The Night Before [3.01] ===
''(Uilleann pipes play)''
:'''Erin''': They told us we were young, yet we understood the enormity of it. We understood what was at stake. Our fear was replaced with something altogether more terrifying… hope. Hope is so much worse. With hope you something to lose…
''(Tape rewinds; voice distorts)''
:'''Michelle''': Oh, for fuck’s sake! What’s happened now?
:'''James''': Your TV is such a piece of crap.
:'''Erin''': No, it’s not. Your camera’s the problem.
:'''James''': My camera’s top of the range!
:'''Michelle''': It’s true. His ma only sends him really expensive shit, you know, to make up for the fact that she doesn’t love him.
:'''James''': Michelle!
:'''Michelle''': Oh, sorry, that came out wrong. I meant… Nope, can’t think of any other way to put that.
:'''Orla''': That actor there looks so familiar.
:'''Erin''': That’s you, Orla.
:'''James''': We’re gonna have to reshoot this footage.
:'''Michelle''': No chance!
:'''James''': Oh, come on, Michelle! These kids from Germany made a short film about the Berlin Wall, and it won as Oscar!
:'''Michelle''': Aye, but they probably had, you know, talent. Look, we need to face the fact that we’ve spent the summer making something that’s really quite shite.
:'''James''': It’s not shit, Michelle! Well, the script might need a bit of work.
:'''Erin''': Do not start on the script again! The script is a masterpiece!
:'''Michelle''': The script is boring, Erin. It doesn’t make any sense. What’s it even about?
:'''Erin''': Peace!
:'''Michelle''': Urgh, I am so fucking sick of peace! It’s all anyone ever bangs on about. Okay, I think we should just cut our losses, and make a couple of fake videos for “You’ve Been Framed.”
:'''Orla''': Oh, I can fall down three flights of stairs without even hurting myself!
:'''Michelle''': It’s £250 a pop, people!
:'''James''': No!
:'''Clare''': Can I ask something?!
:'''Erin''': Yeah.
:'''Clare''': How much longer are we gonna ignore the elephant in the room?
:'''Orla''': Where?
:'''Clare''': It’s tomorrow, girls. Tomorrow! Christ, I feel sick.
:'''James''': Why? You’re gonna walk it, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I know that! I’m not worried about me, I’m worried about you four. If you fail your GCSEs the school won’t take you back. I don’t wanna have to make new friends from scratch, I’ll have enough on my plate with the A-levels! I’m just praying you lot will scrape by!
:'''Erin''': Now, that is very considerate of you, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I know!
----
:'''Erin''': “Try to enjoy what time we have left.” It doesn’t even make any sense.
:'''Clare''': It means we’ve failed, Erin. It means no GCSEs, ergo no A-levels, ergo no university, ergo the end!
:'''Michelle''': “Ergo” wise up, Clare.
:'''Erin''': You’re overreacting.
:'''Clare''': I knew I should have cut ties with you lot a long time ago.
:'''Erin''': It’s not our fault!
:'''Clare''': Of course it’s your fault! You’ve dragged me down to your level, your stupidity has finally rubbed off of me. I was a scholar when I met you, Erin, a scholar!
:'''Erin''': You were three!
:'''Clare''': Our lives are over.
:'''Erin''': I wouldn’t say our lives are over.
:'''Clare''': Passing those exams was our only chance. We’re girls, we’re poor, we’re from Northern Ireland and we’re Catholic, for Christ’s sake!
:'''Erin''': Oh, my God, she’s right! What type of future will we have?
:'''Michelle''': We don’t need to worry about the future, Erin. If we fail, well, our mas are gonna fucking wipe us out, and dead people don’t need jobs.
:'''Clare''': Oh, thank you, Michelle. that’s very reassuring!
:'''Erin''': How bad do you think is it? Do you think it’s, like, grounded bad, or…?
:'''Michelle''': Run-away-from-home bad.
:'''Erin''': Exactly.
:'''Orla''': And if it is run-away-from-home-bad, I’m afraid I will need my snorkel back, James.
:'''James''': Okay, let’s not panic…
:'''Clare''': Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
:'''James''': Let’s just wait until tomorrow, and see what we’re dealing with.
:'''Michelle''': Or…we can see what we’re dealing with tonight.
:'''Clare''': ''(hyperventilating)'' How?!

=== The Affair [3.02] ===
:'''Erin''': You said this was dicky, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': That was before the BBC Northern Ireland thing. This could be life-changing. You know, Pamela Anderson was just an ordinary girl at a football match when a roving camera stuck her on the big screen and then, boom.
:'''James''': Yeah, but she looks like Pamela Anderson.
:'''Michelle''': Okay, James, it’s hard for you to see it because we’re related, but I’m a ride. I am a massive fucking ride.
''(Aisling and Jenny come to see them)''
:'''Jenny''': Hey, guys. Not thinking of entering, are you?
:'''Michelle''': We might be.
:'''Jenny''': That’s cute.
:'''Aisling''': So cute.
:'''Erin''': Oh, bring it on, bitches.
''(Rock music is playing in the background)''
----
:'''Michelle''': I think the best thing we could do is just to get the routine on its feet.
:'''Erin''': I agree.
:'''Michelle''': I know we’re gonna smash this, girls. We are gonna lift that trophy. We are gonna perform live on the motherfucking BBC and we’re gonna wipe that smile off Jenny Joyce’s stupid face.
:'''Erin''': Yeah.
:'''James''': Let’s do it.
:'''Michelle''': Hit it!
''(James switches the portable player on but music dies)'' ''(Later in this scene)''
:'''Michelle''': How many times do I have to fucking explain it? It is two steps forward, two steps back. It couldn’t be any fucking simpler. What the fuck is wrong with you all?!
:'''James''': You’re the one that’s out of time!
:'''Michelle''': Say that again, James, and I will floor you. I will lay you out.
:'''Erin''': T think the first bit is pretty good.
:'''Michelle''': The first bit’s shite, Erin. You look like you’re being electrocuted, and what the fuck do you think you’re doing, Clare, the Haka? ''(groans)''
''(Clare storms out of the bedroom)''
:'''Michelle''': Fuck!
----
:'''Gabriel''': ''(Off-screen)'' Come on, Mary.
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(Off-screen)'' I can’t, Gabriel.
:'''Gabriel''': ''(Off-screen)'' No one needs to find out.
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(Off-screen)'' No, look, look, it’s not like I’m not flattered.
''(Clare is sneaking up slowly and stops and stares at them)''
:'''Gabriel''': You call me when you change your mind.
:'''Mary Quinn''': When? You’re sure of yourself.
:'''Gabriel''': I know how to get what I want. ''(closing the door behind Mary Quinn)''
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Mary, I’ve got a bit of a vegetable situation going on here.
:'''Mary Quinn''': I’m coming!
----
''(Clare heads back to the bedroom to see them)''
:'''Erin''': It’s not my fault your choreography is pedestrian, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': Kiss my actual hole, Erin.
:'''James''': Look, I think we all just need to calm down.
:'''Erin and Michelle''': Piss off, James!
''(Clare knocks at the door; music stops)''
:'''Orla''': Okay, that, is it? I’m going solo.
''(Clare knocks again)''
:'''Michelle''': Oh, Christ, here we go.
:'''Erin''': Screwdriver.
:'''James''': Um, bell. Apron.
:'''Michelle''': Fanny. Big fanny? Fanny pain.
:'''Clare''': The plumber was trying to get off with Erin’s ma! The plumber was trying to get off with Erin’s ma, and now I need to give all of my sponsorship money back.
:'''James''': We’re gonna need more details, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I saw them together in the hall. He was whispering things to her, you know, suggestive things.
:'''Erin''': My ma? He was coming onto my ma? What is he, some sort of reverse pedophile?
:'''Michelle''': I bet Mary told him where to go.
:'''Clare''': Not exactly.
----
''(Horn honks)''
:'''Erin''': Couldn’t you speed up a wee bit?
:'''James''': No, I couldn’t!
:'''Clare''': Are we even moving?
:'''James''': I simply will not negotiate when it comes to road safety.
----
:'''Peter''': Please welcome to the stage, Erin, Orla, Clare, Michelle and James.
''(Applause)''
:'''Peter''': The act you’re going to perform for us tonight, well, they’re absolutely huge.
:'''Michelle''': That’s right, Peter.
:'''Peter''': Matthew.
:'''Michelle''': Matthew! Shit! I got it right in rehearsals, I just…
:'''Peter''': It doesn’t matter.
:'''Michelle''': No, I fucked it.
:'''Peter''': Okay. Give us some clues, girls.
:'''Orla''': Well, Peter… They are English, but we still like them.
:'''Clare''': They’re also probably better known by their nicknames.
:'''Peter''': Which are? And I think this just might give it away now.
:'''Erin''': Ginger! Baby! Sporty! Scary and Posh!
:'''All''': Tonight, Matthew, we’re gonna be The Spice Girls!
:'''Peter''': Girl power!
''(Applause)''

=== Stranger on a Train [3.03] ===
''(Clare and Sister Michael are waiting for the time)''
:'''Clare''': ''(clears her throat)''
:'''Sister Michael''': Here we go.
:'''Clare''': Ah! Sister Michael. Hi.
:'''Sister Michael''': Clare.
:'''Clare''': I wasn’t sure you saw me.
:'''Sister Michael''': No, no, I did.
:'''Clare''': Right. ''(thinking for a moment)'' Heading to Portrush?
:'''Sister Michael''': Yep.
:'''Clare''': Anything nice planned?
:'''Sister Michael''': No.
:'''Clare''': Okay.
:'''Ticket Seller''': ''(talking to Conor on her phone)'' I just don’t see the point. Can we just move on? All right, Conor. The truth is, you never satisfied me sexually.
:'''Clare''': Oh, please no.

=== The Haunting [3.04] ===
:'''Clare''': We had plans tonight.
:'''Michelle''': We can turn our jeans into hot pants any day of the week. We’re talking about a free house here, Clare, a free house. We’re gonna be drinking, dancing and riding.
:'''Erin''': Quick question on the old riding front there.
:'''Michelle''': Go on?
:'''Erin''': Who exactly will we be doing that with?
:'''Michelle''': Young hot farmers. Donegal is coming down with them. Big strapping lads ripped to fuck from all the turf collecting.
:'''Clare''': Oh, don’t worry about me.
:'''Michelle''': There’s actually quite a few lesbians as well, Clare.
:'''Clare''': Lesbian farmers? Really?
:'''Michelle''': Lesbian farming is actually huge in the Republic. We’ll get you sorted, don’t worry.
:'''James''': What about me? Could we pick me up a girl?
:'''Michelle''': Can we pick you up a girl?
:'''Erin''': Like she’s a thing?
:'''Orla''': ''(in the van)'' Yeah, that is so out of order, James.
:'''James''': I didn’t mean… I-I just thought…
:'''Michelle''': Well, you thought wrong, James.
:'''James''': Sorry.
:'''Michelle''': Get in the van. ''(exasperate sigh)'' Dirtbag.
----
:'''Michelle''': Arh! Where the hell are we?
:'''James''': I’ll ask this woman. ''(to Sheila)'' Excuse me? Sorry to bother you.
:'''Sheila''': ''(speaking in Irish)''
:'''James''': Jesus, is she having a stroke?
:'''Erin''': She is an Irish speaker, James.
:'''James''': Oh, why can’t everyone just speak English?
:'''Michelle''': Well, your crowd had a good stab at forcing the entire world to, but we didn’t really enjoy it much, James. Imperialist prick!
:'''James''': Can anyone ask her where this place is?
:'''Clare''': Hmm, my Irish isn’t the best. I decided to keep on French and German, because I though it would give me more options if I wanted to, like, study abroad or whatever.
:'''Michelle''': We’re not filling in your fucking UCAS from here, Clare.
:'''Sheila''': ''(speaking in Irish)''
:'''Michelle''': What’s she saying?
:'''Sheila''': ''(speaking panicky in Irish)'' ''(speaking warningly in Irish)''
:'''Michelle''': Just drive, James. Slan!
:'''Erin''': Slan!

=== The Reunion [3.05] ===
:'''Erin as Mary''': I suppose he’s right to be nervous. About the boys’ school being here, I mean.
:'''Orla as Sarah''': Why, Mary?
:'''Erin as Mary''': Tonight’s gonna be wild, Sarah!
''(“Ladies Night” by Kool &amp; The Gang is playing)''

=== Halloween [3.06] ===
''(“Gangster Trippin” by Fatboy Slim is playing)''
''(So Erin, Orla, Clare, Michelle and James are getting ready and being dressed up as Angels)''
''(Music distorts and stops)''
:'''Mary Quinn''': What are you supposed to be? Swans?
:'''Erin''': We’re not swans?
:'''Orla''': Are we not?
:'''Clare''': We’re angels.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Angels don’t use crutches.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': And swans do?
:'''Granda Joe''': You’re a swan expert now, are you?
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Yeah, that’s precisely what I said.
:'''Mary Quinn''': God love you, son. Imagine beating you up just cause you like Slimboy Fat.
:'''James''': Yeah, I still can’t quite believe it myself, actually.
''(Car horn beeps)''
:'''Clare''': That’ll be Daddy!
''(They all look out to see Daddy in the car)''
:'''Orla''': Ah, I love his wee toy car.

=== The Agreement [3.07] ===
:'''Little Boy''': 10p mix please.
:'''Michelle''': That’ll be twelve pence.
:'''Little Boy''': Twelve pence for a 10p mix?
''(Dennis appears from below the counter)''
:'''Dennis''': It’s called inflation dickhead.
:'''Michelle''': Now, GET OUT!
----
:'''Michelle''': What was the face all about?
:'''Erin''': What face?
:'''Michelle''': Earlier, when Dennis was talking about Niall you did a face.
:'''Erin''': I didn’t do a face.
:'''Michelle''': You did a face Erin. You did a face like this.
:'''Erin''': I…would never do that face. I couldn’t do that face. That face isn’t even in my repertoire.
:'''Michelle''': Oh, it’s in your repertoire alright, I’ve seen you whip it out over a dozen times, usually when you find something hard to believe. What was hard to believe Erin?
:'''Erin''': It was just when you said that you didn’t want to get your hopes up.
:'''Michelle''': Yeah! 
:'''Erin''': You don’t actually think he should get out do you? 
:'''Michelle''': He’s me brother.
:'''Erin''': He killed someone.
:'''Michelle''': I know that Erin.
:'''James''': I’m not sure we should be talking about this.
:'''Erin''': Isn’t this exactly what we should be talking about? I mean we have to vote on it.
:'''Michelle''': It wasn’t supposed to happen the way it did. 
:'''Erin''': I’m sure that poor man’s family takes great comfort in that.
:'''Michelle''': These things, they’re not black and white Erin.
:'''Erin''': Aren’t they?
:'''Michelle''': Nothing about this place is! 
:'''Erin''': Well I think the fact that you shouldn’t kill people is pretty black and white!
:'''Clare''': Awkward, awkward, awkward, oh God it’s so awkward.
:'''Michelle''': Fuck off Erin. And what would you know anyway, you’re nothing but a spoiled, selfish, sheltered wee brat.
''(Michelle storms out)''
----
:'''Michelle''': You know I’ve never even visited Niall. Me Mam wouldn’t let me, she wouldn’t let any of us. She won’t even say his name any more. He had a son, the man, he had a teenaged son. We found that out later.
:'''Erin''': I'm sorry Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': You weren’t wrong. I mean you weren’t right either. There’s no answer to any of this is there? 
:'''Erin''': No, I don’t think there is you know. 
:'''James''': Do you want to get out of here?
:'''Orla''': Can we take that wee tiny horse? No.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:UK sitcoms]]
[[Category:Channel 4 (UK) shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Teen sitcoms]]
[[Category:Single-camera sitcoms]]
[[Category:TV shows set in Northern Ireland]]</text>
      <sha1>rlzd7oly2p7m0xrg1160joexogk91jh</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943989</id>
      <parentid>3943987</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T17:00:37Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-22475-30</username>
        <id>3310494</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* The Prom [2.05] */</comment>
      <origin>3943989</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="70949" sha1="aulyrxbckpebksgt3t28ix9qe52dejq" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Derry Girls|Derry Girls]]''''' is a British teen sitcom created and written by [[w:Lisa McGee|Lisa McGee]]. Produced by [[w:Hat Trick Productions|Hat Trick Productions]], it is set in [[w:Derry|Derry]], [[w:Northern Ireland|Northern Ireland]] in the 1990s. The first series was broadcast in January and February 2018 on [[w:Channel 4|Channel 4]]. The second series was shown in March and April 2019.

== Series 1 ==
=== Children of the Crossfire [1.01] ===
:'''Erin''': I won’t put up with it anymore. Teenagers have rights now, you know.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Don’t be ridiculous.
:'''Erin''': They do, Ma. It’s true. Sure, Macaulay Culkin might be divorcing his parents.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Do you hear this? This’ll be someone she met at that stupid summer scheme you insisted we send her on. Her bloody “Friends Across the Barricades” thing. I have nothing against Protestants, I’m all for integration, I am, but if they’re letting their weans divorce them…
:'''Erin''': Macaulay Culkin isn’t a Protestant, Ma.
:'''Mary Quinn''': It’s only gonna give our weans ideas.
:'''Erin''': Well, he might be. I didn’t meet him at Friends Across the Barricades.
:'''Mary Quinn''': I don’t care where you met him. You’re not to see him again. Understood?
----
:'''Granda Joe''': Them weans shouldn’t have to take the bus to school. You should be driving them, you useless shite.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I have to work, Joe.
:'''Granda Joe''': Work? ''(chuckles)'' Is that what you call it?
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Yes.
:'''Granda Joe''': Why don’t you just leave my Mary alone?
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Because we’ve been married for 17 years, Joe. We have two children. And because we’re in love with each other.
:'''Erin''': Oh, boke.
:'''Granda Joe''': I’ll find some dirt on you yet, boy. I’ve got people working on it.
----
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Well, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m not enjoying this bomb.
:'''Joe Quinn''': Shocking.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Desperate.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Disgusting and disgraceful. I have an appointment in Tropicana at 12:00. Fifteen minutes in the stand up. But sure I’ll not get over the bridge at this rate. It’s going to play havoc with my build-up. This is what they want. They want ordinary people to suffer. This is what it’s all about.
:'''Erin''': I’m pretty sure interfering with your sunbed sessions isn’t very high up on anyone’s political agenda, Aunt Sarah.
----
''(The girls are not wearing their denim jackets over their blazers as agreed)''
:'''Clare''': What’s all this? I thought we were going to be individuals this year.
:'''Erin''': Look, I wanted to, Clare, but my Ma wouldn’t let me.
:'''Clare''': Well, I’m not being individual on my own!
''(Takes off jacket)''
----
:'''Erin''': Who owns the fella?
:'''Michelle''': Me. Well, come on, then, ball-ache. Are you introducing yourself, or what?
:'''James''': Hi. I’m Michelle’s cousin, James.
:'''Orla''': Why’s he making that funny noise?
:'''Michelle''': He’s English, Orla. That’s the way they talk. He’s my Auntie Kathy’s wean. I told you about my Auntie Kathy. She went to England years ago to have an abortion. Never came back. Never got the abortion, either. Lucky for you, James, eh? Ha!
:'''James''': I didn’t actually know that.
----
''(British soldiers board the school bus)''
:'''James''': What’s going on?
:'''Michelle''': I don’t know. But do you think if I told him I had an incendiary device down my knickers, he’d have a look?
:'''Erin''': Michelle, he’s a soldier.
:'''Michelle''': Ach, some of them are rides. I’m willing to admit it, even if nobody else will, because I’m a beacon of truth, Erin.
:'''Erin''': You’re a mouth, that’s what you are.
----
:'''Erin''': Please, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': No. I have no interest in David Donnelly’s spazzmo band. ''(eating Quavers)''
:'''Clare''': They look nice.
:'''Erin''': I can’t go on my own.
:'''Clare''': Are they nice?
:'''Michelle''': Bring Bobby Sands.
:'''Clare''': Sure, how could I go? I’m so weak I can barely walk.
:'''Michelle''': What about Orla?
:'''Erin''': Orla’s…
:'''Orla''': I love my wee fingers.
:'''Erin''': Orla’s mental. Come on, Michelle. I’m begging you. It’s my big chance with David. I’d do it for you.
:'''Michelle''': Fine! But we both know you’re gonna just sit in the corner like a frigid fuck.
:'''Erin''': I’m not frigid.
:'''Orla''': You’ve never even kissed a boy before. You practice on your pillow sometimes, but you don’t think that’s the same.
:'''Erin''': The reading of the diary was bad enough. I could do without the quoting it from memory.
:'''James''': Michelle, would you mind showing me where the toilet is?
:'''Michelle''': You are really starting to do my head in, do you know that?
''(PA chimes)''
:'''Woman''': Will the following pupils please report to Sister Michael’s office immediately? Erin Quinn, Orla McCool, Clare Devlin, Michelle Mallon, and the wee English fella. Thank you.
:'''Michelle''': I wonder what that could be about.
----
:'''Mary Quinn''': Erin, what in God’s name? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Did you kill that wee nun, girls? 
:'''Erin''': Of course we didn’t!
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Then why were you pissing on her dead body and making sandwiches? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Say nothing, girls. Say nothing till we’ve seen a lawyer.
----
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': Sorry I’m late, Sister. Couldn’t get over the bridge. This bloody bomb. I begged the Brits to let me take my chances, but the awkward bastards made me go the long way.
----
:'''Mr. Devlin''': Sorry to keep you waiting, Sister. How long does it take to defuse a fecking bomb? Sure the wee robots do all the work. Oh, killing nuns now, is it? 
:'''Clare''': I didn’t, Daddy!
:'''Mr. Devlin''': You wait until your mother hears about this.
----
:'''Sister Michael''': Obviously, Sister Declan’s death was extremely shocking and unexpected. We’re still struggling to understand exactly what happened.
:'''Erin''': Yeah? Can I just ask, what age was Sister Declan? 
:'''Sister Michael''': She’d have been 98 on Friday.
:'''Erin''': Right. Might that shed some light on the situation? 
:'''Sister Michael''': How so? 
:'''Erin''': Does anybody else have any thoughts on the whole “her being almost 98 years of age” thing?
:'''Granda Joe''': Struck down in her prime.

=== Part-Time Job [1.02] ===
:'''Sister Michael''': On Monday morning, several of our Year 13s will face their GCSE maths resit. Now, I know how daunting resit examinations can be, so if anyone is feeling anxious or worried, or even if you just want to chat, please, please, do not come crying to me.
----
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Okay, that is one portion of redfish, one portion of whitefish, two bags of chips – 
:'''Granda Joe''': No, no, no! Two bags won’t be enough.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Two’s plenty, Joe.
:'''Granda Joe''': Four! Four should cover it.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Three, then. We’ll compromise.
:'''Granda Joe''': I’ll compromise you through that window.
:'''Mary Quinn''': That’s enough, Da.
:'''Granda Joe''': The tight bastard’s trying to starve us all, Mary!
----
:'''Erin''': Any luck with the trust fund?
:'''Clare''': No. According to my mam, we’re actually quite poor.
:'''Erin''': Aye, I think we might be as well.
----
:'''Uncle Colm''': There was a knock at the door, this must have been, ach, we’re talking eight, half eight, for I was halfway through me dinner. And up I got to open it, and there they both were, large as life. And the taller fella, though, to be fair, there was no more than an inch in it.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Jesus wept.
:'''Uncle Colm''': The slightly taller fella, he says to me, says he, “Do you know who we are?” 
:'''Granda Joe''': How’s a body supposed to enjoy his dinner? 
:'''Uncle Colm''': And I says to him, says I, “Well, I can’t be sure now, but maybe if you took off the balaclavas.” And then he says to me, the slightly taller fella does, he says, “Step aside. We are armed.”
:'''Orla''': Class.
:'''Uncle Colm''': And that’s when the smaller fella, although, as I say, we are talking an inch…
:'''Erin''': Mammy, make it stop.
:'''Uncle Colm''': …an inch and a half at most.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': I need a drink.
:'''Uncle Colm''': He has the bright idea of tying me to the radiator, you see. And I remember saying to myself, says I, “Colm, it’s a good job you have the Economy 7 on the old timer, or you’d be roasted here.”
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Did you go for the Economy 7 in the end, Colm? I thought you said the hot water settings were a minefield? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': For the love of God, Sarah, no diversions, please.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Aye, come on, let’s pick it up. They tied you to the heater.
:'''Uncle Colm''': They did indeed. And there I am, shackled to the thermostatic valve with me new shoelaces, when one of them, the smaller fella, or, hang on, maybe it was the--
:'''Gerry Quinn''': It doesn’t matter, Colm.
:'''Uncle Colm''': Well, it was one of the two. He’s looking for the keys to the van, all ranting and raving and getting himself all worked up, threatening to set fire to my good chaise lounge and all sorts. By Jesus, they were absolutely desperate to borrow thon van.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Colm, they didn’t borrow your van. They stole your van, used it to move arms across the border, and then they blew it up.
:'''Uncle Colm''': Aye. Nightmare altogether.
----
:'''Clare''': You will never guess what she’s done this time, Erin.
:'''Erin''': Did she nick the noticeboard from the chip shop, Clare?
----
:'''Erin''': So, firstly we have the tutoring. And out of everyone, I thought you might be best suited to that, Clare, because--
:'''Clare''': I’m the brightest.
:'''Erin''': Well, in that conventional sort of way, I suppose. There’s also some babysitting. The child will be in bed, so you should just about be able to manage that, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': Oh, thanks. And you should just about be able to manage this.
:'''Erin''': Always the lady. There’s also some gardening, mowing a lawn, et cetera. This will require a bit of muscle, so… you should take that one, Orla.
:'''James''': No, I should do that one. It’s a man’s job, Erin. I’m a man.
:'''Michelle''': That’s debatable.
:'''James''': Well, I’m more of a man than Orla.
:'''Orla''': I do not accept that.
:'''James''': Come on, Erin.
:'''Erin''': Fine. So that leaves dog-walking and washing a car.
:'''Orla''': Is it a Renault Clio?
:'''Erin''': No.
:'''Orla''': I’ll take the dogs.
:'''Erin''': Okay.
''(“Little Green Bag” by George Baker Selection is playing)''
:'''Erin''': Let’s go to work.
----
:'''Clare''': It’s slave labor, Erin!
:'''Orla''': It’s worse than slave labor. We’re not even getting paid!
----
''(They all walk upstairs to see what is going on; Michelle is doing the yoga)'' ''(“No Limit” by 2 Unlimited is playing)''
:'''Michelle''': All right?
''(But Erin stops the music)''
:'''Michelle''': Boo!
:'''Clare''': Where’d you get all this?
:'''Michelle''': Fionnula’s cupboard. I think she might have a bit of a problem.
:'''Erin''': You think Fionnula might have a bit of a problem? Put it away and get back downstairs, now.
:'''Michelle''': Sit yourselves down. Have a wee drink.
:'''Clare''': No, Michelle. It’s wrong.
:'''Michelle''': So are those ski pants, Clare, but that didn’t stop you pulling them over your hole this morning. Wait for it. ''(She starts lighting the scented candles of the alcohol)''
:'''Clare''': Michelle!
:'''Michelle''': Don’t be a shower of bore bags. ''(She carries the scented candles)'' Sláinte, motherfuckers.
:'''Erin''': No, no, no, no!
:'''Michelle''': Fuck, fuck, fuck! ''(She accidentally drops the scented candles on the floor which makes the fire spreads on the floor to the curtains)''
----
''(After tying Orla, Clare and Michelle to the radiators, Aunt Sarah and Mary Quinn tie James and Erin at the radiators)''
:'''Erin''': Why would two gunmen break into a chippy?
:'''James''': Ah! That really hurt.
:'''Michelle''': You’re such a pussy.
:'''Erin''': What were they looking for?
:'''Orla''': Chips, obviously.
:'''Mary Quinn''': They were looking for the keys to the van. Keep up, Erin.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Do you think we should knock them about a bit?
:'''Mary Quinn''': No.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Nothing drastic. Just a few slaps.
:'''Mary Quinn''': I said no, Sarah.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': What, not even the wee gay fella?
:'''James''': I’m not gay.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Okay, that should do it. Ready?
:'''Clare''': I hate to be a health and safety stickler, but surely you’re not actually planning on leaving us like this, are you?
''(They hear the door slamming)''
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(whispering)'' Back door. Back door. Back door. Hurry up.
''(Mary Quinn and Aunt Sarah leave)'' ''(“La Mer” by Charles Trenet is playing)'' ''(Fionnula returns back realizing what happened to these curtains)''
:'''Clare''': ''(gasps)''
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(whispering)'' Push it, push it.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': I’m pushing! I’m pushing it!
:'''Mary Quinn''': Hurry up!
:'''Aunt Sarah''': It’s locked!
''(They all come back to see Fionnula)''
:'''Fionnula''': What the fuck’s going on here, exactly?!
:'''Mary Quinn''': Okay… Um, all right. Well, what happened was… ''(pointing to Michelle)'' Michelle was carrying this scented candle…
''(“Never Gonna Get It” by En Vogue is playing)''
:'''Granda Joe''': It’s just not as nice.

=== The Miracle [1.03] ===
:'''Clare''': Sweet suffering Jesus. It’s the morning already?! What are we gonna do?
:'''Michelle''': Well maybe we could start with calming the fuck down.
:'''Clare''': Calm down? We’re still on William of Orange, Michelle! We haven’t so much looked at the famine! 
:'''Michelle''': We’ve got the gist. They ran out of spuds. Everyone was raging.
:'''James''': Well, I can’t tell my rebellions from my risings.
:'''Michelle''': And whose fault’s that? If your lot had stopped invading us for five fucking minutes, there’d be a lot less to wade through! You English prick.
----
:'''Erin''': It’s abuse. That’s what it is. It’s abusive. Does anybody have 10p? I’m ringing Childline.
:'''Michelle''': You can’t ring Childline every time your ma threatens to kill you, Erin.
:'''Clare''': Yeah, you can’t waste Esther’s time like that.
:'''Michelle''': And anyway, you’re not alone We’re all gonna fail. We’re all gonna get our holes kicked, and we’re all in the same boat.
:'''Clare''': I don’t wanna be in that boat! I wanna be in a different boat, sailing down a totally different river!
:'''James''': Guys, all we can do is try our best.
:'''Michelle''': Ach, don’t be such a fruit, James!
:'''Erin''': Oh, my God! Look!
''(They all stare at the dog stroked by the army)''
:'''Erin''': Doesn’t that dog look like Toto?
:'''James''': Oh, I suppose it does a bit, yeah.
:'''Erin''': Looks exactly like him. Here, boy! ''(running over to him)'' Come here, boy! Here, boy! Come here, boy! Here, boy! Come here! Here, boy! Here, boy!
----
:'''Sister Michael''': ''(on the phone)'' Could you put me through to Sister Thomas, please? Tommy! How are you? Yeah, not too bad. A retreat? ''(tuts)'' I dunno. I have judo on Friday. Don’t like to miss it. Now, I’ll tell you why I’m ringing you. So we’ve had an alleged apparition here this morning. Well, it’s in the weeping statue category. Sure, I know. Yeah, apparently there was a smirk as well. ''(chuckles)'' I mean, I’m not sure what Our Lady of the Sorrows has to be smirking about, but that’s by the by.
----
:'''Father Peter''': Directly before the weeping, can you remember what you were doing, what you were talking about?
:'''Michelle''': I remember that James was being a dick.
:'''Sister Michael''': Miss Mallon.
:'''Michelle''': I don’t like to use that word, Sister, but it’s so hard to describe James any other way, ‘cause he’s just such a dick.
:'''Father Peter''': I don’t think you’re a dick, James.
:'''James''': Really? 
:'''Father Peter''': Really. And you know who else doesn’t think you’re a dick? Our Lord.
:'''Sister Michael''': For feck’s sake.
:'''Michelle''': How do you know Our Lord doesn’t think he’s a dick? 
:'''Father Peter''': Our Lord doesn’t think anyone’s a dick.
:'''Michelle''': I very much doubt that.
----
:'''Mary Quinn''': I also have a question, pretty boy. Why are you encouraging all this? 
:'''Father Peter''': I wouldn’t say I’m encouraging it, I’m just open to the possibility.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Well, I’m not. Not unless I see some cold, hard evidence.
:'''Father Peter''': And maybe it’s there. Proof at last, Peter, proof at last.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Is he all right? 
:'''Sister Michael''': I wouldn’t say so, no. He’s a priest, like.

=== The Ukrainian [1.04] ===
:'''Granda Joe''': You don’t know a Jack McGinley, do you? Moved to Moscow, ‘88, ‘89, it would have been.
:'''Erin''': Seriously?
:'''Katya''': No.
:'''Granda Joe''': Stocky fella.
:'''Katya''': No.
:'''Granda Joe''': Curly hair, bit of a lisp.
:'''Katya''': I do not know this person.
:'''Granda Joe''': Ah, maybe just as well, love. He’s an awful prick.
----
:'''Erin''': So, Katya, I’ve done a bit of an itinerary for your stay. You should have received a copy in my last letter.
:'''Katya''': I don’t read your letters, Erin.
:'''Erin''': I’m sorry? I don’t follow.
:'''Katya''': Your letters, they bore.
:'''Erin''': They’re boring.
:'''Katya''': Exactly.
:'''Erin''': That’s not what I--
:'''Katya''': I can smoke here, yes?
:'''Erin''': No. No, you can’t. Mammy’s like a bloodhound.
''(Michelle, Clare and James peep in)''
:'''Michelle''': Your ma said we could come up and have a look at the Russian.
:'''Erin''': Ukrainian. 
:'''Michelle''': Is this her? 
:'''Orla''': Isn’t she cracker? She’s half mine.
:'''Erin''': No, she’s not, Orla.
:'''Orla''': Aye, she is. Mammy said so.
:'''Michelle''': You’re so lucky, Erin. I begged my ma to let me have one, but she said we’ve no room now that my dickhead, ball-bag, English prick of a cousin’s moved in. Talking about you, James, in case you’re wondering.
:'''James''': Yeah, that much was clear. Thank you, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': Have you seen the one Jenny Joyce got, the fella? Massive, massive ride. I’ve been thinking. Maybe time for me to lose the rest of my virginity. And he’s definitely a contender. You help me. You put in good word with your Cossack friend. So we can… ''(makes squishing sounds)''
:'''Erin''': Would you stop that?
:'''Clare''': I’m very sorry for all your trouble, you know, the whole hoo-ha at the power plant.
:'''Katya''': Okay.
:'''Clare''': When you think about it, we’ve actually got a lot in common ‘cause we understand what it’s like to be a young person from a troubled place.
:'''Katya''': Hm, it is not the same. Chernobyl was terrible nuclear accident. You people like to fight each other, and, to be honest, no person really understands why.
:'''Erin''': Well, there’s actually a political element to it, Katya, and there’s a religious element.
:'''Katya''': But you’re not two different religions here. You’re different flavours of same religion, no?
:'''Erin''': Well, yes, but… It’s a little bit more complicated than that, Katya.
:'''Katya''': To me, is stupid.
:'''Clare''': Oh, my God. It is stupid. It is so, so stupid.
:'''Katya''': Who is this?
:'''Erin''': Oh, that’s just James.
:'''Katya''': You are handsome.
:'''James''': ''(gasps)''
:'''Katya''': And also sexy.
:'''Michelle''': Is her English not great?
''(Katya stands up and kisses James)''
:'''Clare''': What’s happening?
:'''Erin''': Why would she do that? Why?
:'''Michelle''': Fuck knows. He’s minging.
:'''Orla''': She seems to be really enjoying it.
:'''Erin''': Is he enjoying it?
:'''Michelle''': It’s hard to tell.
:'''Clare''': Well, if he’s not enjoying it, isn’t that sort of sexual harassment?
:'''Erin''': Yeah, we should put a stop to it.
:'''Clare''': Aye.
:'''Orla''': Does anyone want a Fruit Pastille?
----
:'''Mary Quinn''': Have you any news, Da? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Not really, no.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Right. Shay Harkham was telling me you were in Duggan’s Bakery yesterday lunchtime.
:'''Granda Joe''': Well, that’s hardly news.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Two buns, he said you ordered.
:'''Granda Joe''': Well, I often do.
:'''Mary Quinn''': An apple turnover… and a cream horn.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': A cream horn? 
:'''Erin''': That’s not like you, Granda.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Sure, you couldn’t pay you to eat a cream horn.
:'''Granda Joe''': Cream finger, it was. Apple turnover and a cream finger.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Cream horn, Shay said. He swore on it, said he saw it being bagged up. 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': And Big Shay has eyes like a hawk, so he does. 
:'''Mary Quinn''': Shay said when you left Duggan’s, you turned up Pump Street.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Pump Street? Who do you know on Pump Street, Da?
:'''Mary Quinn''': What were you doing heading up Pump Street with a cream horn, Da? 
:'''Granda Joe''': I was visiting a friend of mine.
:'''Mary Quinn''': What friend? 
:'''Granda Joe''': A new friend.
:'''Mary Quinn''': A male friend, was it? Aye, I thought as much. Buying cream horns for his fancy woman, Sarah, what do you think of that?
----
:'''Granda Joe''': Maeve and me, we’re - We just get on well, that’s all.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Maeve? That’s her name, is it? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Yes, that’s right.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Maeve? That’s what she’s called, is she? 
:'''Granda Joe''': She is, aye.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Maeve? Maeve? Really? Maeve? I cannot believe this.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I think it’s a good thing, love.
:'''Granda Joe''': Just keep out of it, you! 
:'''Mary Quinn''': And that’s who you were winking at in Mass? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Winking? At your age? Christ, I feel sick.
:'''Granda Joe''': It was only a friendly wink.
:'''Mary Quinn''': There is no such thing as a friendly wink! 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Is there not? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': Our poor mother is barely cold and you’re straight back out there, winking away.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Your mother’s been dead ten years, Mary.
:'''Granda Joe''': Look, I’ll not tell you again!
----
:'''Michelle''': Shh! You’ll scare Clive! 
:'''Erin''': Who’s Clive? 
:'''Michelle''': Clive. Clive is a wee Prod from East Belfast. Clive came back from Ibiza, got on the wrong bus at Aldergrove Airport, then fell asleep. Clive woke up in Derry, surrounded by Russians and Fenians. Clive is absolutely shitting himself.
:'''Erin''': So where's the real Artem? 
:'''Michelle''': Giant’s Causeway, probably. Foreigners fucking love the Giant’s Causeway.

=== Holiday [1.05] ===
:'''Mary Quinn''': Already? It’s started already? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I think it’s just a rehearsal, love.
:'''Mary Quinn''': They’ve been playing the same three songs since 1795, what do they need to rehearse for? 
----
:'''Gerry Quinn''': You’re absolutely sure we need the big clock, love? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': We’ve been through this, Gerry.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Definitely don’t want to bring the wee clock? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': I can’t be doing with the wee clock! 
:'''Granda Joe''': What is your problem with the big clock? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I wouldn’t say I have a problem, as such, it’s just much heavier and takes up a lot of room.
:'''Granda Joe''': I’m telling you, Mary, that’s how it starts -- now he’s dictating what size of clock you can pack. Next he’ll be telling you what to wear, what to say. Before you know it, you’ll be faking your own death and assuming a new identity.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Erin, I told you not to let him watch that Sleeping With The Enemy.
:'''Erin''': Couldn’t stop him, Mammy.
:'''Granda Joe''': Great show.
----
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Listen, Mary, I just did a reading. The cards say if we go on this wee holiday, we’re placing ourselves in grave danger, which I’m not buzzing about, to be honest.
:'''Erin''': You’re not psychic, Aunt Sarah.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': I am psychic, Erin. I did a course. I got a certificate. Aye, this does not look good.
:'''Granda Joe''': Still no sign of the lottery numbers? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': No, Daddy. This psychic carry-on, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, you know? Last night, I woke up to this wailing sound. I thought to myself, “Jesus, it’s Granny Pat! She’s trying to cross over!” Now, it turned out it was only Aggie next door. She’d put the electric blanket on full whack and scalded the legs o’ herself. But still, it could just as easily have been – 
:'''Erin''': The disembodied spirit of a dead relative? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Exactly. My nerves are wrecked. I’m living on a knife’s edge here. Is there any Rice Krispies? 
----
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': Listen, Mary, I hate to do this to you, but me and Martin are both working nights and I’m nervous about leaving these two on their own. Don’t suppose there’s any chance you could take them with you? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': Ach, away, Deirdre, it’s just – 
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': The English thing? Listen, Mary, I understand. I mean, he’s my nephew, and even I find it hard to get past. If I’m totally honest, there’s times when I look at him and I feel… well, it’s pure hatred. I’ll not dress it up.
:'''Mary Quinn''': No, no, it’s not the English thing.
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': I hope to God it’s not the gay thing you’re offended by.
:'''James''': There is no gay thing.
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': Because I’d be disappointed in you, Mary, I’ll not lie.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Of course not. I mean, if anything, the gay thing sort of cancels out the English thing.
:'''James''': Again, no gay thing.
:'''Michelle''': You wouldn’t move over there, James? I can’t see past your massive closet.
----
:'''Jim''': Now, once your tent is erect, you’ll want to think about where to safely store your food, because believe me, girls, you do not want to attract predatory animals into your sleeping area. Bears are particularly vicious.
:'''Erin''': Yeah, I’m not sure how many bears there are in Portnoo, though, Jim.
:'''Orla''': But there was a cheetah on the beach one time.
:'''Erin''': That was a greyhound, Orla.
:'''Orla''': I know what I saw.
----
:'''Erin''': You can’t marry an Orangeman, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': That’s a pity, ‘cause I think there’s something really sexy about the fact that they hate us so much.
----
''(“Holiday” by Madonna is playing)'' ''(They all set off in the countryside)''
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I hope your father appreciates the fact that I was the one who got us out of that mess.
:'''Mary Quinn''': He won’t. Nobody back there actually believed you were a Japanese tourist, Gerry. They all thought you were a nutcase. They took pity on you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Dear God, no.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': What’s wrong?
:'''Mary Quinn''': I can’t find my purse.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I can see your purse right there.
:'''Mary Quinn''': No, no, that’s my sterling purse. I’m talking about my punt purse. I can’t find my punt purse, Gerry. Blessed Saint Anthony, the grace of God has made you the patron saint of all things lost and stolen. I turn to you this day with childlike love and deep confidence--
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Look, Mary, calm down--
:'''Mary Quinn''': Calm down, Gerry? We have no punts! We can’t go to the Free State without punts. We’re puntless. We haven’t a punt between us. Oh, God, I think… I think I’m having a panic attack. Oh, stupid punts.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Over this? So what happened back there was totally fine, but ''this'' is worth having a panic attack about?
:'''Mary Quinn''': You have to turn around.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': There is more chance of me eloping with your father to a flip-flop shop in Hawaii--
:'''Mary Quinn''': Look, okay, fine! But that means we won’t be able to buy anything, which means we’ll have no food, which means we’ll all starve to death. So, you know, on your head be it, Gerry. Oh, actually, do you know what? I think I put it in the suitcase.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': False alarm there, Saint Anthony. Sorry for troubling you.

=== The Wee Lesbian [1.06] ===
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Orla has got really into step aerobics. Her instructor says she’s a natural. Says she’s got what it takes to go all the way.
:'''Mary Quinn''': All the way in step aerobics? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': But it’s out of control now, Mary. She’s stepping morning, noon and night. Apart from anything else, it’s dangerous. She nearly came through the ceiling yesterday. Okay, she might be gifted, but I just want her to have a normal childhood.
----
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Er, look, I’m sorry. Do you absolutely need it? 
:'''Ciaran''': I’m afraid I do, sir, yes. Proof of ID.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': But you have my surname written on it there.
:'''Ciaran''': How do I know that’s your surname? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Because I just told you it was my surname.
:'''Ciaran''': You could be lying.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Why would I lie? 
:'''Ciaran''': To get your hands on someone else’s photos.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Why would I want somebody else’s photos? Like, who would pay for somebody else’s photos? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Stalker, maybe.
:'''Ciaran''': Yeah, exactly. Very good, sir. A stalker.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I’m not a stalker.
:'''Ciaran''': Look, why don’t you just go home and have a wee look for your wee docket? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': No. This is ridiculous. Just open that up and take out one of the photos. You see? That’s me wife there.
:'''Ciaran''': How do I know you’re not just telling me that? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Cos that’s me standing beside her.
:'''Ciaran''': I suppose you do look a bit like this man.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I am this man.
:'''Ciaran''': It could be you.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': It’s definitely me. My name is Gerry Quinn. This is my father-in-law, Joe. He can vouch for me.
:'''Granda Joe''': I’ve never seen this man before in my life.
----
:'''Sister Michael''': I’ve just received a phone call from Louise Kerr’s mother, and it’s not looking great.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Oh, God, I just can’t believe it.
:'''Sister Michael''': It’s unlikely she’ll be returning to school before the end of the year, so I think the only thing we can do now is --
:'''Aisling''': Pray for her? 
:'''Sister Michael''': No. What use would that do? No, I think the best thing we can do is decide who will fulfil the role of editor now.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Sister Michael, some of us have actually already discussed this eventuality, and the thing is, well, nobody is comfortable stepping into Louise’s shoes.
:'''Aisling''': It feels a bit, sort of, disrespectful.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': We think this issue should be cancelled.
:'''Sister Michael''': Well, fair enough, if nobody is willing to take her place.
:'''Erin''': I’ll do it.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Excuse me? 
:'''Erin''': I’ll take her place. I’ll step into her shoes. I’ll do it.
:'''Sister Michael''': Really? 
:'''Erin''': Absolutely.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': No, you can’t. We are making a statement. You’re ruining our statement!
:'''Erin''': Look, girls, I know Louise meant a lot to you all.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': She’s not dead, Erin!
:'''Erin''': Well, not yet. Hopefully she won’t, you know, die, but if she does, the show must go on! Isn’t that right, Sister Michael? 
:'''Sister Michael''': You terrify me.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': You can’t be the editor! 
:'''Aisling''': You’ve never even written an article, Erin.
:'''Erin''': That’s because I can’t get anything past Rupert Murdoch over there!
:'''Jenny Joyce''': This isn’t fair. You can’t let it happen, Sister!
:'''Sister Michael''': I know. But I’m bored now, so it looks like I probably will. Good luck, all.
----
:'''Erin''': This was written by a girl. A real life lesbian walks among us.
:'''Orla''': I don’t really believe in lesbians.
----
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Do you not think there’s an awful lot of lesbians about nowadays? You can’t move for lesbians. It’s wall to wall lesbians out there.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Really? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Oh, it’s true. Bridget Gallagher, she’s a lesbian.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Bridget Gallagher, who works in the post office? 
:'''Granda Joe''': I believe so.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Is she not a vegetarian, Da? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Sorry, you’re right. Vegetarian, Bridget is.
----
''(“Let’s Talk About Sex” by Salt-N-Pepa is playing)''
:'''Michelle''': Read all about the wee dyke.
:'''Erin''': We will not be censored!
:'''Orla''': Lesbians really do exist!
:'''James''': I support gays, even though I, myself, am not actually gay!
:'''Erin''': Come on, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I don’t wanna get involved. I’m sorry.
:'''Erin''': Coward!
----
:'''Sister Michael''': ''(after a choral performance)'' Lovely, altogether. You know, every year I sit backstage listening to the singers and it really makes me realize just how talented the professionals who originally recorded these tracks were.

== Series 2 ==
=== Across the Barricade [2.01] ===
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Will any of your crowd be going, love? 
:'''Clare''': My crowd? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Or can you not get Protestant lesbians?
:'''Clare''': No, I think you can get them all right, it’s just --
:'''Granda Joe''': I heard that k.d. lang on the radio yesterday. Christ, but she’s some set of pipes on her. You’re a very talented people.
:'''Clare''': Thank you?
----
:'''Michelle''': We’re doing it for peace, all right, Mary. A piece of that fine Protestant ass!
''(Erin and Michelle give a hi-five)''
:'''Clare''': God, you are such a hypocrite, Erin.
:'''Erin''': No, I’m not. I just don’t think there’s anything wrong with some cross-community… Fiddling…relations.
:'''Orla''': So, we need to head south-east for 0.5 Miles and you’ll receive further instructions shortly.
:'''Michelle''': We haven’t even left the estate yet, Orla. These Prods have some serious moves up their sleeves, you know. They’re not as fucked up about sex as we are. They’ve put the work in, they know what they’re doing.
:'''Clare''': They’re people, Michelle! They’re not sex toys!
:'''Michelle''': I beg to differ.
:'''James''': I’m really looking forward to making friends with some lads.
:'''Michelle''': Lads aren’t going to make friends with you, James. Lads make friends with other lads.
:'''James''': I am a lad.
:'''Erin''': Aye, so you are, James.
:'''Clare''': Okay, how much money do we have?
:'''Michelle''': Look, the riding of the Protestants is one thing, but I really don’t see why we have to buy them a present. I mean they already have all the land, all the jobs and all the fucking rights.
:'''Erin''': Aye, Michelle, that’s definitely the attitude we should have entering into this weekend.
----
:'''Dennis''': A present for Protestants. Ah, now my next Protestant gift delivery isn’t due to arrive until Wednesday. And as it stands, I’m completely out of stock, what with there being such a high fucking demand for that sort of thing around these parts.
:'''Orla''': That’s a shame.
:'''Clare''': How much for the Subbuteo, Dennis? 
:'''Dennis''': We’ll call it 16 quid.
:'''James''': Could we call it £1.76? 
:'''Dennis''': No, we fucking couldn’t.
:'''Erin''': How about we give you the £1.76 and we pay the rest off in installments? 
:'''Clare''': Yeah. Which would be what? £3.56 over four weeks? 
:'''Dennis''': Jesus, check out Rain Wean.
:'''Erin''': Or, you could give us the Subbuteo, and then we could work off the debt.
:'''Clare''': Yeah, we could do chores and stuff.
:'''Dennis''': Chores? What do you think this is? Little House on the fucking Prairie? 
:'''Orla''': Do you watch Little House on the Prairie, Dennis? 
:'''Dennis''': GET OUT! 
----
:'''Michelle''': ''(accepting a teddy bear from a Protestant boy)'' I’m going to keep mine on my bed, where I sleep. In me knickers.
----
:'''Father Peter''': As some of you may know, I took a bit of a sabbatical last year.
:'''Michelle''': Do you mean when you shacked up with a slutty hairdresser but then she dumped you? 
:'''Sister Michael''': Miss Mallon, please! Raise your hand if you want to ask a question.
:'''Father Peter''': Okay, I think we should just move on.
:'''Sister Michael''': The hairdresser certainly did.
----
:'''Protestant Boy''': She’s coming! 
:'''Michelle''': Who? 
:'''Protestant Boy''': The woman. The small angry penguin woman.
:'''Michelle''': Sister Michael! Shit! 
''(Sister Michael arrives)''
:'''Erin''': Oh, good evening, Sister. We just popped round because we had a few questions about the British Empire, which the boys have cleared up for us now, so… 
:'''Jenny Joyce''': They weren’t talking about the British Empire, Sister. They were having a party. I could hear the music.
:'''Sister Michael''': You will go far in life, Jenny. But you will not be well liked.

=== Ms De Brún and the Child of Prague [2.02] ===
:'''Sister Michael''': Sadly, Sister Patrick has decided to leave us. She’s returning to her missionary work, educating the heathen inhabitants of a primitive and savage place.
:'''Teacher''': She’s taken a teaching post in Belfast, Sister.
:'''Sister Michael''': Precisely.
----
:'''Uncle Colm''': And that’s not to say, now, that in my younger years, I didn’t enjoy a boiled sweet. But then I heard tell of a fella from Ballynahinch-- what was it his name was, now? I had it there a minute ago. Ach, it’ll come to me. Anyway, this Ballynahinch lad, and as I say, his name escapes me, but he was mad keen on the boiled sweets. Sure he couldn’t get enough of them. But in the end, well, didn’t he choke to death on one? A pear drop, I think it was. Or a clove rock, maybe. But either way, it’s not how I’d want to go.
----
:'''Erin''': Ms. De Brún is amazing. I’ve just never met anyone like her.
:'''James''': She’s an inspiration.
:'''Clare''': Absolutely.
:'''Michelle''': She really knows how to grab things by the balls.
:'''Clare''': Oh, yeah!
:'''Erin''': She’s changed my life, she really has.
:'''James''': She likes my accent.
:'''Orla''': I’d die for her.
:'''Erin''': I think I would too, you know.
:'''James''': Me too.
:'''Michelle''': Aye, fuck it, why not?
:'''Clare''': Yeah. I mean, obviously I totally agree. I’d die for her as well, but I’m also conscious of the fact we’ve only know her, like, two days.
:'''Erin''': And?
:'''Clare''': Well, is it a bit weird she’s invited us to her house at night?
:'''Erin''': What do you mean?
:'''Clare''': Well, she’s a teacher.
:'''Erin''': She’s much more than a teacher.
:'''Clare''': Yeah. No, obviously I get that. She’s great, but it’s just that I have a feeling it might be sort of frowned upon.
:'''Erin''': God, Clare, you’re so conditioned.
:'''Clare''': What’s that supposed to mean?
:'''Michelle''': It means you need to loosen the fuck up.
:'''Clare''': I am loose, thank you very much.
:'''Michelle''': Face it, Clare, you’re a craic killer.
:'''Clare''': I’m not a craic killer. I AM NOT A CRAIC KILLER!
----
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Well, well, well. What are you guys up to? 
:'''Erin''': Nothing much. 
:'''Clare''': We were just hanging out at Ms. De Brún’s house.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': You were at her house? At night? Well, that’s a bit inappropriate.
:'''Clare''': Your ma is a bit inappropriate.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': That doesn’t even make sense.
:'''Clare''': Your ma doesn’t even make sense.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Is she drunk? 
:'''Clare''': Your ma’s drunk.

=== The Concert [2.03] ===
:'''Aunt Sarah''': John’s really dying for peace, like, isn’t he? It’s all he ever goes on about. I hope it works out for him.
----
:'''Granda Joe''': Belfast! Sure, why don’t you just sell the wains into white slavery and be done with it? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': Gerry’ll be with them, Da.
:'''Granda Joe''': That’s worse! Sure, they hate his kind there.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': My kind? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Pricks.
----
:'''Erin''': Wise up, Mammy! As if a polar bear’s going to rock up at a Take That concert! 
:'''Orla''': He wouldn’t get a ticket, for a start. They sold out months ago.
----
''(They all go up stairs to the room)''
:'''Michelle''': Well, I’m not letting that fat furry fuck ruin the biggest day of my life.
:'''Erin''': What can we do?
''(Four of them listen to Michelle)''
:'''Michelle''': Right. Listen, girls. I’ve never told anyone this before, but sometimes, when Robbie’s being interviewed, it’s like he’s sending me messages through the TV, you know, like, telepathically or whatever. It’s like he’s saying we’re meant to be together.
:'''Erin''': Aye, maybe don’t tell that to anyone again, Michelle. Ever.
:'''Michelle''': Look, this is too important. I’m going to that concert. I’m not afraid of a fucking polar bear.
:'''Erin''': Me neither!
:'''James''': Nor me.
:'''Michelle''': Bastard!
:'''Orla''': I’ll kill it with my own two hands if I have to.
:'''Erin''': Bring it on!
:'''Michelle''': Yes!
:'''Clare''': Okay. We seem to have gone down a weird road here, people. I think we just got a bit confused. We don’t actually have to fight a polar bear. And if we did, I wouldn’t really fancy our chances because, well, they’re massive.
:'''Orla''': But there’s five of us so…
:'''Clare''': The point is the polar bear’s not the one stopping us going to the concert. It’s our mothers, and we’ll never get them to change their minds.
:'''Michelle''': We’re not gonna try and change their minds. We’re gonna do something else.
:'''James''': What?
:'''Michelle''': Lie our holes off.
----
:'''Rita''': Pop music isn’t really my thing, truth be told. It’s all so fucking soulless. Nah. I’m a classical head, all the way, but I’ve been banned from trading at Glyndebourne ever since I absolutely battered that Pavarotti fan. And when I say I battered, I mean intellectually, like. I did kick the shit out of him as well.

=== The Curse [2.04] ===
----
:'''Michelle''': You’re such a wreck-the-buzz, Clare.
:'''Clare''': Look, Michelle, drugs are illegal, drugs are addictive, but perhaps most importantly, in this country, you can lose your kneecaps if you’re caught doing them, and I like my kneecaps, Michelle. They suit my knees.
:'''Orla''': You do have cracking kneecaps, Clare.
:'''James''': Is that true?
:'''Erin''': Sort of.
----
:'''Sister Michael''': Father Thomas usually deals with the wakes, but he’s very sick at the moment. Bedridden, in fact.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': God! What caused it?
:'''Sister Michael''': Jack Daniels, mostly.
----
:'''Uncle Colm''': And now, I don’t mind a bit of a breeze – if anything, I prefer it – but thon was aggressive. So I says to myself, says I, “Colm, this is no day for a do.” 
:'''Sister Michael''': What’s happening?
:'''Uncle Colm''': For when the bride arrived – and as I say, by this stage the wind was fierce –
:'''Sister Michael''': Am I dead?
:'''Uncle Colm''': I’ve never heard wind like it. 
:'''Sister Michael''': Is this my wake?
:'''Uncle Colm''': Howling like a banshee, it was. 
:'''Sister Michael''': Am I in hell?
:'''Uncle Colm''': So the poor girl, the bride now, this is, she arrives anyway, and isn’t she no sooner out of the car than she’s lifted up in the air like a paper doll, and blown into a flowerbed.
:'''Sister Michael''': That’s actually quite funny.
----
:'''Clare''' What are we gonna do? What in under God are we gonna do?
:'''Michelle''': It’s fine.
:'''Clare''': It’s definitely not fine. There’s drug scones down there. If people eat the drug scones, then we’ve drugged those people, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': So? Drugging people isn’t a crime.
:'''James''': You’ve a very loose grasp of the law, Michelle.
:'''Erin''': What kind of person brings hash scones to a wake?
:'''Michelle''': Typical. I try and do a nice thing, and this is the thanks I get.
:'''Clare''': It’s terrible. There’s old people down there. What if an old person takes one?
:'''Michelle''': Why does everybody get so sentimental about old people? Old people are arseholes.
:'''Erin''': We have to get them back.
:'''Michelle''': Look, I’m not disagreeing with you. I bought that stuff so I could get high, not your great uncle Colm.
:'''Erin''': Christ, can you imagine?
:'''Orla''': Hold on a minute. Where did the scones go?
:'''Erin''': Okay, I’ll head for the kitchen and grab whatever’s still there. The rest of you look out for any ones that have gone rogue, and remember, be subtle.
----
:'''Michelle''': I can’t believe we’re doing this. It’s fucking heartbreaking.
:'''Erin''': Look, Granda’s had one, and now he’s acting really, really weird.
:'''Michelle''': You’re being paranoid, Erin.
:'''Erin''': He was nice to Daddy.
:'''Michelle''': Jesus!
:'''Erin''': Exactly! And if my ma starts asking questions…
:'''Michelle''': Your ma won’t trace it back to us.
:'''Erin''': Are you for real? She traces everything back to us. She traces things we haven’t even done, back to us.
:'''Clare''': Are you sure this will work?
:'''James''': This is how you get rid of drugs, Clare. I’ve seen GoodFellas, like, 20 times.
:'''Orla''': That’s not the only way. I watched this film once about this girl who was trying to hide drugs, and what she did was, she shoved them right up her--
:'''Michelle''': I’m not sticking a scone up my hole, Orla, I’ll tell you that for nothing.
:'''Clare''': Okay, I’m going to flush.
:'''Erin''': Go for it.
''(flushing multiple hash scones down the toilet; water gurgles in pipes)''
:'''Erin''': Is it working?
:'''James''': Of course it’s working.
''(Water seems to be rising)''
:'''Clare''': Is the water rising?
:'''Erin''': Jesus Christ! Why is the water rising, James?
:'''James''': I don’t know. The water didn’t rise in GoodFellas.
:'''Michelle''': Fuck! We’ve clogged it.
:'''Orla''': Who has a plunger?
:'''Erin''': I’m afraid I left the house without my plunger tonight, Orla.
:'''Orla''': Aye, me too. Nightmare, so it is.
:'''All''': Oh, whoa!

=== The Prom [2.05] ===
:'''Sister Michael''': Miss Cheung’s family have recently moved here to Derry so I hope you’ll all make her feel very welcome. It’s bound to be a bit of a culture shock, Mae. Things are done differently in this part of the world. But I’m sure you’ll soon feel as at home here as you did back in your beloved Donegal.
----
:'''Clare''': There she is. Okay, so I say we just over there and be ourselves, girls. Well, not totally ourselves. We should definitely be a bit ourselves. We could also pretend we’re sort of better than we actually are, so, I suppose what I’m saying is we could present a version of ourselves as less --
:'''Erin''': Crap.
:'''Clare''': Precisely.
:'''Michelle''': Why do we even have to talk to her?
:'''Clare''': Because she’s new, Michelle!
:'''Michelle''': Urgh! I hate people I don’t know.
:'''Clare''': And, in case you hadn’t noticed, she also happens to be Chinese. I mean, how class would it be to have a Chinese friend?!
:'''Orla''': We could keep her in my toy box.
:'''Erin''': No, we couldn’t, Orla.
:'''Orla''': Oh, she’d definitely fit.
:'''Erin''': That is not the point.
:'''Michelle''': Fine. But can we agree it’s on a strict one-in, one-out basis? If she joins the group, James has to leave.
:'''Clare''': Course!
:'''Erin''': Absolutely.
:'''James''': Excuse me?
:'''Clare''': ''(greets Mae in Chinese)''
:'''Mae Cheung''': Is she all right? 
:'''Michelle''': Burning for you, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I-It’s Cantonese.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Right. Well, I’m from Donegal and we speak English there.
:'''Michelle''': If you say so, Mae, but I spent the summer in Killybegs, and seriously? Not a fucking word.
:'''Clare''': We just wanted to introduce ourselves and --
:'''Mae Cheung''': Okay, I think I see where this is going. I get this a lot. Dull white girls wanting me to join their gang because, well…
:'''Erin''': We’re not dull.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Sure.
:'''James''': And I’m actually a boy.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Whoa. She has a really fucked-up accent.
:'''Michelle''': We know.
:'''Mae Cheung''': ''(sighs)'' What’s in this for me? What are you bringing to the table?
:'''Orla''': Cream crackers?
:'''Mae Cheung''': I’m good for cream crackers, thank you. I’ll see you around, girls. ''(She is about to leave)''
:'''Orla''': Maybe we don’t need a Chinese person. We’ve already got a lesbian.
:'''Mae Cheung''': What? Who?
:'''Clare''': Me.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Really? You don’t look like a lesbian.
:'''Clare''': What do you mean?
:'''Mae Cheung''': Just that you’re a bit…short.
:'''Clare''': Well, there’s no height restrictions… as far as I’m aware.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Interesting. I’ve always wanted a gay friend. I mean, ideally a fella.
''(Jenny and Aisling come to see them)''
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Howdy, folks!
:'''Michelle''': Christ.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': I’m Jenny. This is Aisling. We just thought we’d introduce ourselves and see if…
:'''Clare''': Too late, Jenny. She’s ours.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': I see. Look, these girls are great, but I do have a pen pal from the Caribbean, so, perhaps my circle is a little bit more diverse.
:'''Clare''': Back. Off.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Think it over. Give me a call. Oh, and FYI, the prom queen vote closes today.
:'''Michelle''': FY nobody gives a shit.
:'''Aisling''': Here’s the wee ballot.
:'''Erin''': I see you’ve thrown your hat into the ring, Jenny.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': I had my arm twisted, but feel free to tick my box.
''(They leave)''
:'''Michelle''': Dirty bitch.
----
:'''Michelle''': Well, this prom is going to be a full-blown dick-fest. You know, there isn’t even gonna be a DJ. Apparently, Jenny’s hired this fucking pensioner band.
:'''Erin''': Christ, really?
:'''Michelle''': I heard the drummer is at least 30.
:'''James''': I don’t feel so bad about missing it now. It clashes with my thing.
:'''Michelle''': The creep convention? Seriously?
:'''James''': It’s not a creep convention.
:'''Michelle''': Well, I think a load of perverts getting together to wank over some fella who fights with Hoovers and rides aliens in a telephone box, is the very fucking definition of a creep convention.
:'''James''': It's a Doctor Who night. Me and my stepdad used to watch it when I was little.
:'''Michelle''': Well, someone should have called social services then, James.
:'''Clare''': You’re not going to the prom then, James. Well, I was gonna ask you to be my date.
:'''James''': I’m sorry, Clare.
:'''Michelle''': You were gonna ask James to be your date? What the fuck’s wrong with you?
:'''Clare''': Well, it’s a bit more complicated for me.
:'''Michelle''': You’re a lesbian, Clare, not desperate.
----
:'''Erin''': Right. I say we hit Primark first.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Classy.
:'''Erin''': Yeah, well, we have about £17.50 between us, Mae, so, needs must.
:'''Michelle''': It’s grand. I swiped my ma’s credit card. ''(She shows them her ma’s credit card)''
:'''James''': Is that grand, or is that actually a criminal offense?
:'''Michelle''': Look, we’ll just whack a couple of dresses on it, don’t take the labels off, wear them to prom, then return them the next day. The money will be back in her account as quick as it went out.
:'''Clare''': No way, Jose.
:'''Michelle''': It’s totally grand, Clare. I do it all the time. You just have to make sure that you don’t, like, spill anything on it, or, like, sweat.

=== The President [2.06] ===
:'''Mary Quinn''': When JFK came to Dublin, Uncle Colm met him, and Daddy didn’t.
:'''Granda Joe''': Things are gonna be different this time, I tell you.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': JFK spoke to Colm? Christ, that man didn’t have much luck, did he? 
----
:'''Clare''': Any word from Chelsea? 
:'''Erin''': Not yet. And we sent that letter over a week ago.
:'''Clare''': Are you sure you got the address right? 
:'''Orla''': Chelsea Clinton, the White House, America.
:'''Clare''': It just doesn’t make any sense.
:'''Michelle''': Did you send it first class? 
:'''Erin''': We’re not made of money, Michelle.
----
:'''James''': Look, Bill doesn’t even get here till four o’clock tomorrow.
:'''Michelle''': “Bill?” Who are you? His Ma? 
:'''James''': We’ve got plenty of time, is all I’m saying.
:'''Clare''': Do you know how packed that Guildhall Square is gonna be, James? You’d have to camp overnight just to get a glimpse of him.
:'''Erin''': Chelsea will sort us out.
:'''Clare''': Ach, I’m not even sure I trust Chelsea anymore.
:'''Michelle''': Aye, Chelsea might be flaky.
:'''Orla''': She does have crafty eyes.
:'''Erin''': Okay, I’m not comfortable with the Chelsea-bashing, girls.
----
:'''Dennis''': That’ll be £1.99.
:'''Clare''': Right.
:'''Dennis''': Is there some sort of a problem here, girls?
:'''Clare''': Not a problem, as such. More of a-a-a question, really.
:'''Dennis''': You think I’m here to answer questions, do you? Who am I, Magnus fucking Magnusson?
:'''James''': He doesn’t answer questions, he asks them.
:'''Dennis''': Pipe the fuck down.
:'''Erin''': It’s just, it’s pink, white and purple, Dennis.
:'''Dennis''': So? 
:'''Erin''': Well, it should be red, white and blue.
:'''Dennis''': Says who? 
:'''Michelle''': The rest of the world.
:'''Clare''': There’s also quite a few stars missing.
:'''Dennis''': No, there’s not.
:'''Clare''': There’s only 30 stars here. I mean, there should be 50, just because the stars represent states, so… 
:'''Dennis''': Some of them left.
:'''Erin''': Some states left? 
:'''Dennis''': That’s right.
:'''Erin''': Some states left America? 
:'''Dennis''': Yep.
:'''Michelle''': When did this happen? 
:'''Dennis''': The other day.
:'''Orla''': God, that’s desperate.
:'''Erin''': I don’t know, I just feel like if 20 states left the USA, we might have heard about it.
:'''Dennis''': Ah, they didn’t want to make it into a big thing. So these are the new, modern, up-to-date flags. They’ve just brought them out.
:'''Erin''': Okay. It’s just, well, I’m not convinced that’s actually true.
:'''Dennis''': Well, why would I lie? 
:'''Michelle''': Because you bought a fuckload of dud flags, and you’re trying to get rid of them.
:'''Dennis''': GET OUT!
:'''Erin''': ''(exiting the shop)'' What first attracted him to a career in retail, do you think?
----
:'''Clare''': You can’t leave, James. 
:'''James''': This was always gonna happen. This was never my real life. It was just something that got in the way of it.
:'''Erin''': What are you talking about? You love it here.
:'''James''': I’m not sure I do. I think I just developed Stockholm syndrome.
:'''Michelle''': Catch yourself on. You’ve never even been to Switzerland!
----
:'''James''': Anyway, it’s not like I belong here. I never did.
:'''Michelle''': That’s not true. You’re a Derry girl now, James.
:'''James''': Piss off.
:'''Michelle''': I’m serious. It doesn’t matter that you’ve got that stupid accent, or that your bits are different to my bits, well, because being a Derry girl, well, it’s a fucking state of mind. And you’re one of us.

== Series 3 ==
=== The Night Before [3.01] ===
''(Uilleann pipes play)''
:'''Erin''': They told us we were young, yet we understood the enormity of it. We understood what was at stake. Our fear was replaced with something altogether more terrifying… hope. Hope is so much worse. With hope you something to lose…
''(Tape rewinds; voice distorts)''
:'''Michelle''': Oh, for fuck’s sake! What’s happened now?
:'''James''': Your TV is such a piece of crap.
:'''Erin''': No, it’s not. Your camera’s the problem.
:'''James''': My camera’s top of the range!
:'''Michelle''': It’s true. His ma only sends him really expensive shit, you know, to make up for the fact that she doesn’t love him.
:'''James''': Michelle!
:'''Michelle''': Oh, sorry, that came out wrong. I meant… Nope, can’t think of any other way to put that.
:'''Orla''': That actor there looks so familiar.
:'''Erin''': That’s you, Orla.
:'''James''': We’re gonna have to reshoot this footage.
:'''Michelle''': No chance!
:'''James''': Oh, come on, Michelle! These kids from Germany made a short film about the Berlin Wall, and it won as Oscar!
:'''Michelle''': Aye, but they probably had, you know, talent. Look, we need to face the fact that we’ve spent the summer making something that’s really quite shite.
:'''James''': It’s not shit, Michelle! Well, the script might need a bit of work.
:'''Erin''': Do not start on the script again! The script is a masterpiece!
:'''Michelle''': The script is boring, Erin. It doesn’t make any sense. What’s it even about?
:'''Erin''': Peace!
:'''Michelle''': Urgh, I am so fucking sick of peace! It’s all anyone ever bangs on about. Okay, I think we should just cut our losses, and make a couple of fake videos for “You’ve Been Framed.”
:'''Orla''': Oh, I can fall down three flights of stairs without even hurting myself!
:'''Michelle''': It’s £250 a pop, people!
:'''James''': No!
:'''Clare''': Can I ask something?!
:'''Erin''': Yeah.
:'''Clare''': How much longer are we gonna ignore the elephant in the room?
:'''Orla''': Where?
:'''Clare''': It’s tomorrow, girls. Tomorrow! Christ, I feel sick.
:'''James''': Why? You’re gonna walk it, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I know that! I’m not worried about me, I’m worried about you four. If you fail your GCSEs the school won’t take you back. I don’t wanna have to make new friends from scratch, I’ll have enough on my plate with the A-levels! I’m just praying you lot will scrape by!
:'''Erin''': Now, that is very considerate of you, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I know!
----
:'''Erin''': “Try to enjoy what time we have left.” It doesn’t even make any sense.
:'''Clare''': It means we’ve failed, Erin. It means no GCSEs, ergo no A-levels, ergo no university, ergo the end!
:'''Michelle''': “Ergo” wise up, Clare.
:'''Erin''': You’re overreacting.
:'''Clare''': I knew I should have cut ties with you lot a long time ago.
:'''Erin''': It’s not our fault!
:'''Clare''': Of course it’s your fault! You’ve dragged me down to your level, your stupidity has finally rubbed off of me. I was a scholar when I met you, Erin, a scholar!
:'''Erin''': You were three!
:'''Clare''': Our lives are over.
:'''Erin''': I wouldn’t say our lives are over.
:'''Clare''': Passing those exams was our only chance. We’re girls, we’re poor, we’re from Northern Ireland and we’re Catholic, for Christ’s sake!
:'''Erin''': Oh, my God, she’s right! What type of future will we have?
:'''Michelle''': We don’t need to worry about the future, Erin. If we fail, well, our mas are gonna fucking wipe us out, and dead people don’t need jobs.
:'''Clare''': Oh, thank you, Michelle. that’s very reassuring!
:'''Erin''': How bad do you think is it? Do you think it’s, like, grounded bad, or…?
:'''Michelle''': Run-away-from-home bad.
:'''Erin''': Exactly.
:'''Orla''': And if it is run-away-from-home-bad, I’m afraid I will need my snorkel back, James.
:'''James''': Okay, let’s not panic…
:'''Clare''': Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
:'''James''': Let’s just wait until tomorrow, and see what we’re dealing with.
:'''Michelle''': Or…we can see what we’re dealing with tonight.
:'''Clare''': ''(hyperventilating)'' How?!

=== The Affair [3.02] ===
:'''Erin''': You said this was dicky, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': That was before the BBC Northern Ireland thing. This could be life-changing. You know, Pamela Anderson was just an ordinary girl at a football match when a roving camera stuck her on the big screen and then, boom.
:'''James''': Yeah, but she looks like Pamela Anderson.
:'''Michelle''': Okay, James, it’s hard for you to see it because we’re related, but I’m a ride. I am a massive fucking ride.
''(Aisling and Jenny come to see them)''
:'''Jenny''': Hey, guys. Not thinking of entering, are you?
:'''Michelle''': We might be.
:'''Jenny''': That’s cute.
:'''Aisling''': So cute.
:'''Erin''': Oh, bring it on, bitches.
''(Rock music is playing in the background)''
----
:'''Michelle''': I think the best thing we could do is just to get the routine on its feet.
:'''Erin''': I agree.
:'''Michelle''': I know we’re gonna smash this, girls. We are gonna lift that trophy. We are gonna perform live on the motherfucking BBC and we’re gonna wipe that smile off Jenny Joyce’s stupid face.
:'''Erin''': Yeah.
:'''James''': Let’s do it.
:'''Michelle''': Hit it!
''(James switches the portable player on but music dies)'' ''(Later in this scene)''
:'''Michelle''': How many times do I have to fucking explain it? It is two steps forward, two steps back. It couldn’t be any fucking simpler. What the fuck is wrong with you all?!
:'''James''': You’re the one that’s out of time!
:'''Michelle''': Say that again, James, and I will floor you. I will lay you out.
:'''Erin''': T think the first bit is pretty good.
:'''Michelle''': The first bit’s shite, Erin. You look like you’re being electrocuted, and what the fuck do you think you’re doing, Clare, the Haka? ''(groans)''
''(Clare storms out of the bedroom)''
:'''Michelle''': Fuck!
----
:'''Gabriel''': ''(Off-screen)'' Come on, Mary.
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(Off-screen)'' I can’t, Gabriel.
:'''Gabriel''': ''(Off-screen)'' No one needs to find out.
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(Off-screen)'' No, look, look, it’s not like I’m not flattered.
''(Clare is sneaking up slowly and stops and stares at them)''
:'''Gabriel''': You call me when you change your mind.
:'''Mary Quinn''': When? You’re sure of yourself.
:'''Gabriel''': I know how to get what I want. ''(closing the door behind Mary Quinn)''
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Mary, I’ve got a bit of a vegetable situation going on here.
:'''Mary Quinn''': I’m coming!
----
''(Clare heads back to the bedroom to see them)''
:'''Erin''': It’s not my fault your choreography is pedestrian, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': Kiss my actual hole, Erin.
:'''James''': Look, I think we all just need to calm down.
:'''Erin and Michelle''': Piss off, James!
''(Clare knocks at the door; music stops)''
:'''Orla''': Okay, that, is it? I’m going solo.
''(Clare knocks again)''
:'''Michelle''': Oh, Christ, here we go.
:'''Erin''': Screwdriver.
:'''James''': Um, bell. Apron.
:'''Michelle''': Fanny. Big fanny? Fanny pain.
:'''Clare''': The plumber was trying to get off with Erin’s ma! The plumber was trying to get off with Erin’s ma, and now I need to give all of my sponsorship money back.
:'''James''': We’re gonna need more details, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I saw them together in the hall. He was whispering things to her, you know, suggestive things.
:'''Erin''': My ma? He was coming onto my ma? What is he, some sort of reverse pedophile?
:'''Michelle''': I bet Mary told him where to go.
:'''Clare''': Not exactly.
----
''(Horn honks)''
:'''Erin''': Couldn’t you speed up a wee bit?
:'''James''': No, I couldn’t!
:'''Clare''': Are we even moving?
:'''James''': I simply will not negotiate when it comes to road safety.
----
:'''Peter''': Please welcome to the stage, Erin, Orla, Clare, Michelle and James.
''(Applause)''
:'''Peter''': The act you’re going to perform for us tonight, well, they’re absolutely huge.
:'''Michelle''': That’s right, Peter.
:'''Peter''': Matthew.
:'''Michelle''': Matthew! Shit! I got it right in rehearsals, I just…
:'''Peter''': It doesn’t matter.
:'''Michelle''': No, I fucked it.
:'''Peter''': Okay. Give us some clues, girls.
:'''Orla''': Well, Peter… They are English, but we still like them.
:'''Clare''': They’re also probably better known by their nicknames.
:'''Peter''': Which are? And I think this just might give it away now.
:'''Erin''': Ginger! Baby! Sporty! Scary and Posh!
:'''All''': Tonight, Matthew, we’re gonna be The Spice Girls!
:'''Peter''': Girl power!
''(Applause)''

=== Stranger on a Train [3.03] ===
''(Clare and Sister Michael are waiting for the time)''
:'''Clare''': ''(clears her throat)''
:'''Sister Michael''': Here we go.
:'''Clare''': Ah! Sister Michael. Hi.
:'''Sister Michael''': Clare.
:'''Clare''': I wasn’t sure you saw me.
:'''Sister Michael''': No, no, I did.
:'''Clare''': Right. ''(thinking for a moment)'' Heading to Portrush?
:'''Sister Michael''': Yep.
:'''Clare''': Anything nice planned?
:'''Sister Michael''': No.
:'''Clare''': Okay.
:'''Ticket Seller''': ''(talking to Conor on her phone)'' I just don’t see the point. Can we just move on? All right, Conor. The truth is, you never satisfied me sexually.
:'''Clare''': Oh, please no.

=== The Haunting [3.04] ===
:'''Clare''': We had plans tonight.
:'''Michelle''': We can turn our jeans into hot pants any day of the week. We’re talking about a free house here, Clare, a free house. We’re gonna be drinking, dancing and riding.
:'''Erin''': Quick question on the old riding front there.
:'''Michelle''': Go on?
:'''Erin''': Who exactly will we be doing that with?
:'''Michelle''': Young hot farmers. Donegal is coming down with them. Big strapping lads ripped to fuck from all the turf collecting.
:'''Clare''': Oh, don’t worry about me.
:'''Michelle''': There’s actually quite a few lesbians as well, Clare.
:'''Clare''': Lesbian farmers? Really?
:'''Michelle''': Lesbian farming is actually huge in the Republic. We’ll get you sorted, don’t worry.
:'''James''': What about me? Could we pick me up a girl?
:'''Michelle''': Can we pick you up a girl?
:'''Erin''': Like she’s a thing?
:'''Orla''': ''(in the van)'' Yeah, that is so out of order, James.
:'''James''': I didn’t mean… I-I just thought…
:'''Michelle''': Well, you thought wrong, James.
:'''James''': Sorry.
:'''Michelle''': Get in the van. ''(exasperate sigh)'' Dirtbag.
----
:'''Michelle''': Arh! Where the hell are we?
:'''James''': I’ll ask this woman. ''(to Sheila)'' Excuse me? Sorry to bother you.
:'''Sheila''': ''(speaking in Irish)''
:'''James''': Jesus, is she having a stroke?
:'''Erin''': She is an Irish speaker, James.
:'''James''': Oh, why can’t everyone just speak English?
:'''Michelle''': Well, your crowd had a good stab at forcing the entire world to, but we didn’t really enjoy it much, James. Imperialist prick!
:'''James''': Can anyone ask her where this place is?
:'''Clare''': Hmm, my Irish isn’t the best. I decided to keep on French and German, because I though it would give me more options if I wanted to, like, study abroad or whatever.
:'''Michelle''': We’re not filling in your fucking UCAS from here, Clare.
:'''Sheila''': ''(speaking in Irish)''
:'''Michelle''': What’s she saying?
:'''Sheila''': ''(speaking panicky in Irish)'' ''(speaking warningly in Irish)''
:'''Michelle''': Just drive, James. Slan!
:'''Erin''': Slan!

=== The Reunion [3.05] ===
:'''Erin as Mary''': I suppose he’s right to be nervous. About the boys’ school being here, I mean.
:'''Orla as Sarah''': Why, Mary?
:'''Erin as Mary''': Tonight’s gonna be wild, Sarah!
''(“Ladies Night” by Kool &amp; The Gang is playing)''

=== Halloween [3.06] ===
''(“Gangster Trippin” by Fatboy Slim is playing)''
''(So Erin, Orla, Clare, Michelle and James are getting ready and being dressed up as Angels)''
''(Music distorts and stops)''
:'''Mary Quinn''': What are you supposed to be? Swans?
:'''Erin''': We’re not swans?
:'''Orla''': Are we not?
:'''Clare''': We’re angels.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Angels don’t use crutches.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': And swans do?
:'''Granda Joe''': You’re a swan expert now, are you?
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Yeah, that’s precisely what I said.
:'''Mary Quinn''': God love you, son. Imagine beating you up just cause you like Slimboy Fat.
:'''James''': Yeah, I still can’t quite believe it myself, actually.
''(Car horn beeps)''
:'''Clare''': That’ll be Daddy!
''(They all look out to see Daddy in the car)''
:'''Orla''': Ah, I love his wee toy car.

=== The Agreement [3.07] ===
:'''Little Boy''': 10p mix please.
:'''Michelle''': That’ll be twelve pence.
:'''Little Boy''': Twelve pence for a 10p mix?
''(Dennis appears from below the counter)''
:'''Dennis''': It’s called inflation dickhead.
:'''Michelle''': Now, GET OUT!
----
:'''Michelle''': What was the face all about?
:'''Erin''': What face?
:'''Michelle''': Earlier, when Dennis was talking about Niall you did a face.
:'''Erin''': I didn’t do a face.
:'''Michelle''': You did a face Erin. You did a face like this.
:'''Erin''': I…would never do that face. I couldn’t do that face. That face isn’t even in my repertoire.
:'''Michelle''': Oh, it’s in your repertoire alright, I’ve seen you whip it out over a dozen times, usually when you find something hard to believe. What was hard to believe Erin?
:'''Erin''': It was just when you said that you didn’t want to get your hopes up.
:'''Michelle''': Yeah! 
:'''Erin''': You don’t actually think he should get out do you? 
:'''Michelle''': He’s me brother.
:'''Erin''': He killed someone.
:'''Michelle''': I know that Erin.
:'''James''': I’m not sure we should be talking about this.
:'''Erin''': Isn’t this exactly what we should be talking about? I mean we have to vote on it.
:'''Michelle''': It wasn’t supposed to happen the way it did. 
:'''Erin''': I’m sure that poor man’s family takes great comfort in that.
:'''Michelle''': These things, they’re not black and white Erin.
:'''Erin''': Aren’t they?
:'''Michelle''': Nothing about this place is! 
:'''Erin''': Well I think the fact that you shouldn’t kill people is pretty black and white!
:'''Clare''': Awkward, awkward, awkward, oh God it’s so awkward.
:'''Michelle''': Fuck off Erin. And what would you know anyway, you’re nothing but a spoiled, selfish, sheltered wee brat.
''(Michelle storms out)''
----
:'''Michelle''': You know I’ve never even visited Niall. Me Mam wouldn’t let me, she wouldn’t let any of us. She won’t even say his name any more. He had a son, the man, he had a teenaged son. We found that out later.
:'''Erin''': I'm sorry Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': You weren’t wrong. I mean you weren’t right either. There’s no answer to any of this is there? 
:'''Erin''': No, I don’t think there is you know. 
:'''James''': Do you want to get out of here?
:'''Orla''': Can we take that wee tiny horse? No.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:UK sitcoms]]
[[Category:Channel 4 (UK) shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Teen sitcoms]]
[[Category:Single-camera sitcoms]]
[[Category:TV shows set in Northern Ireland]]</text>
      <sha1>aulyrxbckpebksgt3t28ix9qe52dejq</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944123</id>
      <parentid>3943989</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T06:37:49Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-22475-30</username>
        <id>3310494</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Across the Barricade [2.01] */</comment>
      <origin>3944123</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="71726" sha1="fauh60shdhibqbe8kyy0qi0ag1pbsob" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Derry Girls|Derry Girls]]''''' is a British teen sitcom created and written by [[w:Lisa McGee|Lisa McGee]]. Produced by [[w:Hat Trick Productions|Hat Trick Productions]], it is set in [[w:Derry|Derry]], [[w:Northern Ireland|Northern Ireland]] in the 1990s. The first series was broadcast in January and February 2018 on [[w:Channel 4|Channel 4]]. The second series was shown in March and April 2019.

== Series 1 ==
=== Children of the Crossfire [1.01] ===
:'''Erin''': I won’t put up with it anymore. Teenagers have rights now, you know.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Don’t be ridiculous.
:'''Erin''': They do, Ma. It’s true. Sure, Macaulay Culkin might be divorcing his parents.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Do you hear this? This’ll be someone she met at that stupid summer scheme you insisted we send her on. Her bloody “Friends Across the Barricades” thing. I have nothing against Protestants, I’m all for integration, I am, but if they’re letting their weans divorce them…
:'''Erin''': Macaulay Culkin isn’t a Protestant, Ma.
:'''Mary Quinn''': It’s only gonna give our weans ideas.
:'''Erin''': Well, he might be. I didn’t meet him at Friends Across the Barricades.
:'''Mary Quinn''': I don’t care where you met him. You’re not to see him again. Understood?
----
:'''Granda Joe''': Them weans shouldn’t have to take the bus to school. You should be driving them, you useless shite.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I have to work, Joe.
:'''Granda Joe''': Work? ''(chuckles)'' Is that what you call it?
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Yes.
:'''Granda Joe''': Why don’t you just leave my Mary alone?
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Because we’ve been married for 17 years, Joe. We have two children. And because we’re in love with each other.
:'''Erin''': Oh, boke.
:'''Granda Joe''': I’ll find some dirt on you yet, boy. I’ve got people working on it.
----
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Well, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m not enjoying this bomb.
:'''Joe Quinn''': Shocking.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Desperate.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Disgusting and disgraceful. I have an appointment in Tropicana at 12:00. Fifteen minutes in the stand up. But sure I’ll not get over the bridge at this rate. It’s going to play havoc with my build-up. This is what they want. They want ordinary people to suffer. This is what it’s all about.
:'''Erin''': I’m pretty sure interfering with your sunbed sessions isn’t very high up on anyone’s political agenda, Aunt Sarah.
----
''(The girls are not wearing their denim jackets over their blazers as agreed)''
:'''Clare''': What’s all this? I thought we were going to be individuals this year.
:'''Erin''': Look, I wanted to, Clare, but my Ma wouldn’t let me.
:'''Clare''': Well, I’m not being individual on my own!
''(Takes off jacket)''
----
:'''Erin''': Who owns the fella?
:'''Michelle''': Me. Well, come on, then, ball-ache. Are you introducing yourself, or what?
:'''James''': Hi. I’m Michelle’s cousin, James.
:'''Orla''': Why’s he making that funny noise?
:'''Michelle''': He’s English, Orla. That’s the way they talk. He’s my Auntie Kathy’s wean. I told you about my Auntie Kathy. She went to England years ago to have an abortion. Never came back. Never got the abortion, either. Lucky for you, James, eh? Ha!
:'''James''': I didn’t actually know that.
----
''(British soldiers board the school bus)''
:'''James''': What’s going on?
:'''Michelle''': I don’t know. But do you think if I told him I had an incendiary device down my knickers, he’d have a look?
:'''Erin''': Michelle, he’s a soldier.
:'''Michelle''': Ach, some of them are rides. I’m willing to admit it, even if nobody else will, because I’m a beacon of truth, Erin.
:'''Erin''': You’re a mouth, that’s what you are.
----
:'''Erin''': Please, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': No. I have no interest in David Donnelly’s spazzmo band. ''(eating Quavers)''
:'''Clare''': They look nice.
:'''Erin''': I can’t go on my own.
:'''Clare''': Are they nice?
:'''Michelle''': Bring Bobby Sands.
:'''Clare''': Sure, how could I go? I’m so weak I can barely walk.
:'''Michelle''': What about Orla?
:'''Erin''': Orla’s…
:'''Orla''': I love my wee fingers.
:'''Erin''': Orla’s mental. Come on, Michelle. I’m begging you. It’s my big chance with David. I’d do it for you.
:'''Michelle''': Fine! But we both know you’re gonna just sit in the corner like a frigid fuck.
:'''Erin''': I’m not frigid.
:'''Orla''': You’ve never even kissed a boy before. You practice on your pillow sometimes, but you don’t think that’s the same.
:'''Erin''': The reading of the diary was bad enough. I could do without the quoting it from memory.
:'''James''': Michelle, would you mind showing me where the toilet is?
:'''Michelle''': You are really starting to do my head in, do you know that?
''(PA chimes)''
:'''Woman''': Will the following pupils please report to Sister Michael’s office immediately? Erin Quinn, Orla McCool, Clare Devlin, Michelle Mallon, and the wee English fella. Thank you.
:'''Michelle''': I wonder what that could be about.
----
:'''Mary Quinn''': Erin, what in God’s name? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Did you kill that wee nun, girls? 
:'''Erin''': Of course we didn’t!
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Then why were you pissing on her dead body and making sandwiches? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Say nothing, girls. Say nothing till we’ve seen a lawyer.
----
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': Sorry I’m late, Sister. Couldn’t get over the bridge. This bloody bomb. I begged the Brits to let me take my chances, but the awkward bastards made me go the long way.
----
:'''Mr. Devlin''': Sorry to keep you waiting, Sister. How long does it take to defuse a fecking bomb? Sure the wee robots do all the work. Oh, killing nuns now, is it? 
:'''Clare''': I didn’t, Daddy!
:'''Mr. Devlin''': You wait until your mother hears about this.
----
:'''Sister Michael''': Obviously, Sister Declan’s death was extremely shocking and unexpected. We’re still struggling to understand exactly what happened.
:'''Erin''': Yeah? Can I just ask, what age was Sister Declan? 
:'''Sister Michael''': She’d have been 98 on Friday.
:'''Erin''': Right. Might that shed some light on the situation? 
:'''Sister Michael''': How so? 
:'''Erin''': Does anybody else have any thoughts on the whole “her being almost 98 years of age” thing?
:'''Granda Joe''': Struck down in her prime.

=== Part-Time Job [1.02] ===
:'''Sister Michael''': On Monday morning, several of our Year 13s will face their GCSE maths resit. Now, I know how daunting resit examinations can be, so if anyone is feeling anxious or worried, or even if you just want to chat, please, please, do not come crying to me.
----
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Okay, that is one portion of redfish, one portion of whitefish, two bags of chips – 
:'''Granda Joe''': No, no, no! Two bags won’t be enough.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Two’s plenty, Joe.
:'''Granda Joe''': Four! Four should cover it.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Three, then. We’ll compromise.
:'''Granda Joe''': I’ll compromise you through that window.
:'''Mary Quinn''': That’s enough, Da.
:'''Granda Joe''': The tight bastard’s trying to starve us all, Mary!
----
:'''Erin''': Any luck with the trust fund?
:'''Clare''': No. According to my mam, we’re actually quite poor.
:'''Erin''': Aye, I think we might be as well.
----
:'''Uncle Colm''': There was a knock at the door, this must have been, ach, we’re talking eight, half eight, for I was halfway through me dinner. And up I got to open it, and there they both were, large as life. And the taller fella, though, to be fair, there was no more than an inch in it.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Jesus wept.
:'''Uncle Colm''': The slightly taller fella, he says to me, says he, “Do you know who we are?” 
:'''Granda Joe''': How’s a body supposed to enjoy his dinner? 
:'''Uncle Colm''': And I says to him, says I, “Well, I can’t be sure now, but maybe if you took off the balaclavas.” And then he says to me, the slightly taller fella does, he says, “Step aside. We are armed.”
:'''Orla''': Class.
:'''Uncle Colm''': And that’s when the smaller fella, although, as I say, we are talking an inch…
:'''Erin''': Mammy, make it stop.
:'''Uncle Colm''': …an inch and a half at most.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': I need a drink.
:'''Uncle Colm''': He has the bright idea of tying me to the radiator, you see. And I remember saying to myself, says I, “Colm, it’s a good job you have the Economy 7 on the old timer, or you’d be roasted here.”
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Did you go for the Economy 7 in the end, Colm? I thought you said the hot water settings were a minefield? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': For the love of God, Sarah, no diversions, please.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Aye, come on, let’s pick it up. They tied you to the heater.
:'''Uncle Colm''': They did indeed. And there I am, shackled to the thermostatic valve with me new shoelaces, when one of them, the smaller fella, or, hang on, maybe it was the--
:'''Gerry Quinn''': It doesn’t matter, Colm.
:'''Uncle Colm''': Well, it was one of the two. He’s looking for the keys to the van, all ranting and raving and getting himself all worked up, threatening to set fire to my good chaise lounge and all sorts. By Jesus, they were absolutely desperate to borrow thon van.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Colm, they didn’t borrow your van. They stole your van, used it to move arms across the border, and then they blew it up.
:'''Uncle Colm''': Aye. Nightmare altogether.
----
:'''Clare''': You will never guess what she’s done this time, Erin.
:'''Erin''': Did she nick the noticeboard from the chip shop, Clare?
----
:'''Erin''': So, firstly we have the tutoring. And out of everyone, I thought you might be best suited to that, Clare, because--
:'''Clare''': I’m the brightest.
:'''Erin''': Well, in that conventional sort of way, I suppose. There’s also some babysitting. The child will be in bed, so you should just about be able to manage that, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': Oh, thanks. And you should just about be able to manage this.
:'''Erin''': Always the lady. There’s also some gardening, mowing a lawn, et cetera. This will require a bit of muscle, so… you should take that one, Orla.
:'''James''': No, I should do that one. It’s a man’s job, Erin. I’m a man.
:'''Michelle''': That’s debatable.
:'''James''': Well, I’m more of a man than Orla.
:'''Orla''': I do not accept that.
:'''James''': Come on, Erin.
:'''Erin''': Fine. So that leaves dog-walking and washing a car.
:'''Orla''': Is it a Renault Clio?
:'''Erin''': No.
:'''Orla''': I’ll take the dogs.
:'''Erin''': Okay.
''(“Little Green Bag” by George Baker Selection is playing)''
:'''Erin''': Let’s go to work.
----
:'''Clare''': It’s slave labor, Erin!
:'''Orla''': It’s worse than slave labor. We’re not even getting paid!
----
''(They all walk upstairs to see what is going on; Michelle is doing the yoga)'' ''(“No Limit” by 2 Unlimited is playing)''
:'''Michelle''': All right?
''(But Erin stops the music)''
:'''Michelle''': Boo!
:'''Clare''': Where’d you get all this?
:'''Michelle''': Fionnula’s cupboard. I think she might have a bit of a problem.
:'''Erin''': You think Fionnula might have a bit of a problem? Put it away and get back downstairs, now.
:'''Michelle''': Sit yourselves down. Have a wee drink.
:'''Clare''': No, Michelle. It’s wrong.
:'''Michelle''': So are those ski pants, Clare, but that didn’t stop you pulling them over your hole this morning. Wait for it. ''(She starts lighting the scented candles of the alcohol)''
:'''Clare''': Michelle!
:'''Michelle''': Don’t be a shower of bore bags. ''(She carries the scented candles)'' Sláinte, motherfuckers.
:'''Erin''': No, no, no, no!
:'''Michelle''': Fuck, fuck, fuck! ''(She accidentally drops the scented candles on the floor which makes the fire spreads on the floor to the curtains)''
----
''(After tying Orla, Clare and Michelle to the radiators, Aunt Sarah and Mary Quinn tie James and Erin at the radiators)''
:'''Erin''': Why would two gunmen break into a chippy?
:'''James''': Ah! That really hurt.
:'''Michelle''': You’re such a pussy.
:'''Erin''': What were they looking for?
:'''Orla''': Chips, obviously.
:'''Mary Quinn''': They were looking for the keys to the van. Keep up, Erin.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Do you think we should knock them about a bit?
:'''Mary Quinn''': No.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Nothing drastic. Just a few slaps.
:'''Mary Quinn''': I said no, Sarah.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': What, not even the wee gay fella?
:'''James''': I’m not gay.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Okay, that should do it. Ready?
:'''Clare''': I hate to be a health and safety stickler, but surely you’re not actually planning on leaving us like this, are you?
''(They hear the door slamming)''
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(whispering)'' Back door. Back door. Back door. Hurry up.
''(Mary Quinn and Aunt Sarah leave)'' ''(“La Mer” by Charles Trenet is playing)'' ''(Fionnula returns back realizing what happened to these curtains)''
:'''Clare''': ''(gasps)''
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(whispering)'' Push it, push it.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': I’m pushing! I’m pushing it!
:'''Mary Quinn''': Hurry up!
:'''Aunt Sarah''': It’s locked!
''(They all come back to see Fionnula)''
:'''Fionnula''': What the fuck’s going on here, exactly?!
:'''Mary Quinn''': Okay… Um, all right. Well, what happened was… ''(pointing to Michelle)'' Michelle was carrying this scented candle…
''(“Never Gonna Get It” by En Vogue is playing)''
:'''Granda Joe''': It’s just not as nice.

=== The Miracle [1.03] ===
:'''Clare''': Sweet suffering Jesus. It’s the morning already?! What are we gonna do?
:'''Michelle''': Well maybe we could start with calming the fuck down.
:'''Clare''': Calm down? We’re still on William of Orange, Michelle! We haven’t so much looked at the famine! 
:'''Michelle''': We’ve got the gist. They ran out of spuds. Everyone was raging.
:'''James''': Well, I can’t tell my rebellions from my risings.
:'''Michelle''': And whose fault’s that? If your lot had stopped invading us for five fucking minutes, there’d be a lot less to wade through! You English prick.
----
:'''Erin''': It’s abuse. That’s what it is. It’s abusive. Does anybody have 10p? I’m ringing Childline.
:'''Michelle''': You can’t ring Childline every time your ma threatens to kill you, Erin.
:'''Clare''': Yeah, you can’t waste Esther’s time like that.
:'''Michelle''': And anyway, you’re not alone We’re all gonna fail. We’re all gonna get our holes kicked, and we’re all in the same boat.
:'''Clare''': I don’t wanna be in that boat! I wanna be in a different boat, sailing down a totally different river!
:'''James''': Guys, all we can do is try our best.
:'''Michelle''': Ach, don’t be such a fruit, James!
:'''Erin''': Oh, my God! Look!
''(They all stare at the dog stroked by the army)''
:'''Erin''': Doesn’t that dog look like Toto?
:'''James''': Oh, I suppose it does a bit, yeah.
:'''Erin''': Looks exactly like him. Here, boy! ''(running over to him)'' Come here, boy! Here, boy! Come here, boy! Here, boy! Come here! Here, boy! Here, boy!
----
:'''Sister Michael''': ''(on the phone)'' Could you put me through to Sister Thomas, please? Tommy! How are you? Yeah, not too bad. A retreat? ''(tuts)'' I dunno. I have judo on Friday. Don’t like to miss it. Now, I’ll tell you why I’m ringing you. So we’ve had an alleged apparition here this morning. Well, it’s in the weeping statue category. Sure, I know. Yeah, apparently there was a smirk as well. ''(chuckles)'' I mean, I’m not sure what Our Lady of the Sorrows has to be smirking about, but that’s by the by.
----
:'''Father Peter''': Directly before the weeping, can you remember what you were doing, what you were talking about?
:'''Michelle''': I remember that James was being a dick.
:'''Sister Michael''': Miss Mallon.
:'''Michelle''': I don’t like to use that word, Sister, but it’s so hard to describe James any other way, ‘cause he’s just such a dick.
:'''Father Peter''': I don’t think you’re a dick, James.
:'''James''': Really? 
:'''Father Peter''': Really. And you know who else doesn’t think you’re a dick? Our Lord.
:'''Sister Michael''': For feck’s sake.
:'''Michelle''': How do you know Our Lord doesn’t think he’s a dick? 
:'''Father Peter''': Our Lord doesn’t think anyone’s a dick.
:'''Michelle''': I very much doubt that.
----
:'''Mary Quinn''': I also have a question, pretty boy. Why are you encouraging all this? 
:'''Father Peter''': I wouldn’t say I’m encouraging it, I’m just open to the possibility.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Well, I’m not. Not unless I see some cold, hard evidence.
:'''Father Peter''': And maybe it’s there. Proof at last, Peter, proof at last.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Is he all right? 
:'''Sister Michael''': I wouldn’t say so, no. He’s a priest, like.

=== The Ukrainian [1.04] ===
:'''Granda Joe''': You don’t know a Jack McGinley, do you? Moved to Moscow, ‘88, ‘89, it would have been.
:'''Erin''': Seriously?
:'''Katya''': No.
:'''Granda Joe''': Stocky fella.
:'''Katya''': No.
:'''Granda Joe''': Curly hair, bit of a lisp.
:'''Katya''': I do not know this person.
:'''Granda Joe''': Ah, maybe just as well, love. He’s an awful prick.
----
:'''Erin''': So, Katya, I’ve done a bit of an itinerary for your stay. You should have received a copy in my last letter.
:'''Katya''': I don’t read your letters, Erin.
:'''Erin''': I’m sorry? I don’t follow.
:'''Katya''': Your letters, they bore.
:'''Erin''': They’re boring.
:'''Katya''': Exactly.
:'''Erin''': That’s not what I--
:'''Katya''': I can smoke here, yes?
:'''Erin''': No. No, you can’t. Mammy’s like a bloodhound.
''(Michelle, Clare and James peep in)''
:'''Michelle''': Your ma said we could come up and have a look at the Russian.
:'''Erin''': Ukrainian. 
:'''Michelle''': Is this her? 
:'''Orla''': Isn’t she cracker? She’s half mine.
:'''Erin''': No, she’s not, Orla.
:'''Orla''': Aye, she is. Mammy said so.
:'''Michelle''': You’re so lucky, Erin. I begged my ma to let me have one, but she said we’ve no room now that my dickhead, ball-bag, English prick of a cousin’s moved in. Talking about you, James, in case you’re wondering.
:'''James''': Yeah, that much was clear. Thank you, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': Have you seen the one Jenny Joyce got, the fella? Massive, massive ride. I’ve been thinking. Maybe time for me to lose the rest of my virginity. And he’s definitely a contender. You help me. You put in good word with your Cossack friend. So we can… ''(makes squishing sounds)''
:'''Erin''': Would you stop that?
:'''Clare''': I’m very sorry for all your trouble, you know, the whole hoo-ha at the power plant.
:'''Katya''': Okay.
:'''Clare''': When you think about it, we’ve actually got a lot in common ‘cause we understand what it’s like to be a young person from a troubled place.
:'''Katya''': Hm, it is not the same. Chernobyl was terrible nuclear accident. You people like to fight each other, and, to be honest, no person really understands why.
:'''Erin''': Well, there’s actually a political element to it, Katya, and there’s a religious element.
:'''Katya''': But you’re not two different religions here. You’re different flavours of same religion, no?
:'''Erin''': Well, yes, but… It’s a little bit more complicated than that, Katya.
:'''Katya''': To me, is stupid.
:'''Clare''': Oh, my God. It is stupid. It is so, so stupid.
:'''Katya''': Who is this?
:'''Erin''': Oh, that’s just James.
:'''Katya''': You are handsome.
:'''James''': ''(gasps)''
:'''Katya''': And also sexy.
:'''Michelle''': Is her English not great?
''(Katya stands up and kisses James)''
:'''Clare''': What’s happening?
:'''Erin''': Why would she do that? Why?
:'''Michelle''': Fuck knows. He’s minging.
:'''Orla''': She seems to be really enjoying it.
:'''Erin''': Is he enjoying it?
:'''Michelle''': It’s hard to tell.
:'''Clare''': Well, if he’s not enjoying it, isn’t that sort of sexual harassment?
:'''Erin''': Yeah, we should put a stop to it.
:'''Clare''': Aye.
:'''Orla''': Does anyone want a Fruit Pastille?
----
:'''Mary Quinn''': Have you any news, Da? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Not really, no.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Right. Shay Harkham was telling me you were in Duggan’s Bakery yesterday lunchtime.
:'''Granda Joe''': Well, that’s hardly news.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Two buns, he said you ordered.
:'''Granda Joe''': Well, I often do.
:'''Mary Quinn''': An apple turnover… and a cream horn.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': A cream horn? 
:'''Erin''': That’s not like you, Granda.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Sure, you couldn’t pay you to eat a cream horn.
:'''Granda Joe''': Cream finger, it was. Apple turnover and a cream finger.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Cream horn, Shay said. He swore on it, said he saw it being bagged up. 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': And Big Shay has eyes like a hawk, so he does. 
:'''Mary Quinn''': Shay said when you left Duggan’s, you turned up Pump Street.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Pump Street? Who do you know on Pump Street, Da?
:'''Mary Quinn''': What were you doing heading up Pump Street with a cream horn, Da? 
:'''Granda Joe''': I was visiting a friend of mine.
:'''Mary Quinn''': What friend? 
:'''Granda Joe''': A new friend.
:'''Mary Quinn''': A male friend, was it? Aye, I thought as much. Buying cream horns for his fancy woman, Sarah, what do you think of that?
----
:'''Granda Joe''': Maeve and me, we’re - We just get on well, that’s all.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Maeve? That’s her name, is it? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Yes, that’s right.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Maeve? That’s what she’s called, is she? 
:'''Granda Joe''': She is, aye.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Maeve? Maeve? Really? Maeve? I cannot believe this.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I think it’s a good thing, love.
:'''Granda Joe''': Just keep out of it, you! 
:'''Mary Quinn''': And that’s who you were winking at in Mass? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Winking? At your age? Christ, I feel sick.
:'''Granda Joe''': It was only a friendly wink.
:'''Mary Quinn''': There is no such thing as a friendly wink! 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Is there not? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': Our poor mother is barely cold and you’re straight back out there, winking away.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Your mother’s been dead ten years, Mary.
:'''Granda Joe''': Look, I’ll not tell you again!
----
:'''Michelle''': Shh! You’ll scare Clive! 
:'''Erin''': Who’s Clive? 
:'''Michelle''': Clive. Clive is a wee Prod from East Belfast. Clive came back from Ibiza, got on the wrong bus at Aldergrove Airport, then fell asleep. Clive woke up in Derry, surrounded by Russians and Fenians. Clive is absolutely shitting himself.
:'''Erin''': So where's the real Artem? 
:'''Michelle''': Giant’s Causeway, probably. Foreigners fucking love the Giant’s Causeway.

=== Holiday [1.05] ===
:'''Mary Quinn''': Already? It’s started already? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I think it’s just a rehearsal, love.
:'''Mary Quinn''': They’ve been playing the same three songs since 1795, what do they need to rehearse for? 
----
:'''Gerry Quinn''': You’re absolutely sure we need the big clock, love? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': We’ve been through this, Gerry.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Definitely don’t want to bring the wee clock? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': I can’t be doing with the wee clock! 
:'''Granda Joe''': What is your problem with the big clock? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I wouldn’t say I have a problem, as such, it’s just much heavier and takes up a lot of room.
:'''Granda Joe''': I’m telling you, Mary, that’s how it starts -- now he’s dictating what size of clock you can pack. Next he’ll be telling you what to wear, what to say. Before you know it, you’ll be faking your own death and assuming a new identity.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Erin, I told you not to let him watch that Sleeping With The Enemy.
:'''Erin''': Couldn’t stop him, Mammy.
:'''Granda Joe''': Great show.
----
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Listen, Mary, I just did a reading. The cards say if we go on this wee holiday, we’re placing ourselves in grave danger, which I’m not buzzing about, to be honest.
:'''Erin''': You’re not psychic, Aunt Sarah.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': I am psychic, Erin. I did a course. I got a certificate. Aye, this does not look good.
:'''Granda Joe''': Still no sign of the lottery numbers? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': No, Daddy. This psychic carry-on, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, you know? Last night, I woke up to this wailing sound. I thought to myself, “Jesus, it’s Granny Pat! She’s trying to cross over!” Now, it turned out it was only Aggie next door. She’d put the electric blanket on full whack and scalded the legs o’ herself. But still, it could just as easily have been – 
:'''Erin''': The disembodied spirit of a dead relative? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Exactly. My nerves are wrecked. I’m living on a knife’s edge here. Is there any Rice Krispies? 
----
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': Listen, Mary, I hate to do this to you, but me and Martin are both working nights and I’m nervous about leaving these two on their own. Don’t suppose there’s any chance you could take them with you? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': Ach, away, Deirdre, it’s just – 
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': The English thing? Listen, Mary, I understand. I mean, he’s my nephew, and even I find it hard to get past. If I’m totally honest, there’s times when I look at him and I feel… well, it’s pure hatred. I’ll not dress it up.
:'''Mary Quinn''': No, no, it’s not the English thing.
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': I hope to God it’s not the gay thing you’re offended by.
:'''James''': There is no gay thing.
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': Because I’d be disappointed in you, Mary, I’ll not lie.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Of course not. I mean, if anything, the gay thing sort of cancels out the English thing.
:'''James''': Again, no gay thing.
:'''Michelle''': You wouldn’t move over there, James? I can’t see past your massive closet.
----
:'''Jim''': Now, once your tent is erect, you’ll want to think about where to safely store your food, because believe me, girls, you do not want to attract predatory animals into your sleeping area. Bears are particularly vicious.
:'''Erin''': Yeah, I’m not sure how many bears there are in Portnoo, though, Jim.
:'''Orla''': But there was a cheetah on the beach one time.
:'''Erin''': That was a greyhound, Orla.
:'''Orla''': I know what I saw.
----
:'''Erin''': You can’t marry an Orangeman, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': That’s a pity, ‘cause I think there’s something really sexy about the fact that they hate us so much.
----
''(“Holiday” by Madonna is playing)'' ''(They all set off in the countryside)''
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I hope your father appreciates the fact that I was the one who got us out of that mess.
:'''Mary Quinn''': He won’t. Nobody back there actually believed you were a Japanese tourist, Gerry. They all thought you were a nutcase. They took pity on you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Dear God, no.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': What’s wrong?
:'''Mary Quinn''': I can’t find my purse.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I can see your purse right there.
:'''Mary Quinn''': No, no, that’s my sterling purse. I’m talking about my punt purse. I can’t find my punt purse, Gerry. Blessed Saint Anthony, the grace of God has made you the patron saint of all things lost and stolen. I turn to you this day with childlike love and deep confidence--
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Look, Mary, calm down--
:'''Mary Quinn''': Calm down, Gerry? We have no punts! We can’t go to the Free State without punts. We’re puntless. We haven’t a punt between us. Oh, God, I think… I think I’m having a panic attack. Oh, stupid punts.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Over this? So what happened back there was totally fine, but ''this'' is worth having a panic attack about?
:'''Mary Quinn''': You have to turn around.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': There is more chance of me eloping with your father to a flip-flop shop in Hawaii--
:'''Mary Quinn''': Look, okay, fine! But that means we won’t be able to buy anything, which means we’ll have no food, which means we’ll all starve to death. So, you know, on your head be it, Gerry. Oh, actually, do you know what? I think I put it in the suitcase.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': False alarm there, Saint Anthony. Sorry for troubling you.

=== The Wee Lesbian [1.06] ===
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Orla has got really into step aerobics. Her instructor says she’s a natural. Says she’s got what it takes to go all the way.
:'''Mary Quinn''': All the way in step aerobics? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': But it’s out of control now, Mary. She’s stepping morning, noon and night. Apart from anything else, it’s dangerous. She nearly came through the ceiling yesterday. Okay, she might be gifted, but I just want her to have a normal childhood.
----
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Er, look, I’m sorry. Do you absolutely need it? 
:'''Ciaran''': I’m afraid I do, sir, yes. Proof of ID.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': But you have my surname written on it there.
:'''Ciaran''': How do I know that’s your surname? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Because I just told you it was my surname.
:'''Ciaran''': You could be lying.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Why would I lie? 
:'''Ciaran''': To get your hands on someone else’s photos.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Why would I want somebody else’s photos? Like, who would pay for somebody else’s photos? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Stalker, maybe.
:'''Ciaran''': Yeah, exactly. Very good, sir. A stalker.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I’m not a stalker.
:'''Ciaran''': Look, why don’t you just go home and have a wee look for your wee docket? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': No. This is ridiculous. Just open that up and take out one of the photos. You see? That’s me wife there.
:'''Ciaran''': How do I know you’re not just telling me that? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Cos that’s me standing beside her.
:'''Ciaran''': I suppose you do look a bit like this man.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I am this man.
:'''Ciaran''': It could be you.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': It’s definitely me. My name is Gerry Quinn. This is my father-in-law, Joe. He can vouch for me.
:'''Granda Joe''': I’ve never seen this man before in my life.
----
:'''Sister Michael''': I’ve just received a phone call from Louise Kerr’s mother, and it’s not looking great.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Oh, God, I just can’t believe it.
:'''Sister Michael''': It’s unlikely she’ll be returning to school before the end of the year, so I think the only thing we can do now is --
:'''Aisling''': Pray for her? 
:'''Sister Michael''': No. What use would that do? No, I think the best thing we can do is decide who will fulfil the role of editor now.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Sister Michael, some of us have actually already discussed this eventuality, and the thing is, well, nobody is comfortable stepping into Louise’s shoes.
:'''Aisling''': It feels a bit, sort of, disrespectful.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': We think this issue should be cancelled.
:'''Sister Michael''': Well, fair enough, if nobody is willing to take her place.
:'''Erin''': I’ll do it.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Excuse me? 
:'''Erin''': I’ll take her place. I’ll step into her shoes. I’ll do it.
:'''Sister Michael''': Really? 
:'''Erin''': Absolutely.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': No, you can’t. We are making a statement. You’re ruining our statement!
:'''Erin''': Look, girls, I know Louise meant a lot to you all.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': She’s not dead, Erin!
:'''Erin''': Well, not yet. Hopefully she won’t, you know, die, but if she does, the show must go on! Isn’t that right, Sister Michael? 
:'''Sister Michael''': You terrify me.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': You can’t be the editor! 
:'''Aisling''': You’ve never even written an article, Erin.
:'''Erin''': That’s because I can’t get anything past Rupert Murdoch over there!
:'''Jenny Joyce''': This isn’t fair. You can’t let it happen, Sister!
:'''Sister Michael''': I know. But I’m bored now, so it looks like I probably will. Good luck, all.
----
:'''Erin''': This was written by a girl. A real life lesbian walks among us.
:'''Orla''': I don’t really believe in lesbians.
----
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Do you not think there’s an awful lot of lesbians about nowadays? You can’t move for lesbians. It’s wall to wall lesbians out there.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Really? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Oh, it’s true. Bridget Gallagher, she’s a lesbian.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Bridget Gallagher, who works in the post office? 
:'''Granda Joe''': I believe so.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Is she not a vegetarian, Da? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Sorry, you’re right. Vegetarian, Bridget is.
----
''(“Let’s Talk About Sex” by Salt-N-Pepa is playing)''
:'''Michelle''': Read all about the wee dyke.
:'''Erin''': We will not be censored!
:'''Orla''': Lesbians really do exist!
:'''James''': I support gays, even though I, myself, am not actually gay!
:'''Erin''': Come on, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I don’t wanna get involved. I’m sorry.
:'''Erin''': Coward!
----
:'''Sister Michael''': ''(after a choral performance)'' Lovely, altogether. You know, every year I sit backstage listening to the singers and it really makes me realize just how talented the professionals who originally recorded these tracks were.

== Series 2 ==
=== Across the Barricade [2.01] ===
:'''Erin''': That summer was a remarkable one. It was the summer we dared to dream. For generations, we’d known nothing but violence. Nothing but hatred. But finally we were saying, “Enough is enough.” Finally, we were saying, “Let’s give peace a chance.”
''(Orla opens the bathroom door)''
:'''Orla''': She’s up here!
:'''Erin''': Jesus Christ!
:'''Orla''': She’s pretending she’s on Parkinson again.
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(Off-screen)'' Parkinson? Does she know what time it is? I’ll Parkinson her. I’ve enough on my plate without Parkinson.
:'''Erin''': Close the door! ''(But Orla comes in and closes the door)'' No, Orla. Leave, then close the door.
''(Orla leaves and then closes the door)''
:'''Erin''': And it was Wogan, for your information!
----
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Will any of your crowd be going, love? 
:'''Clare''': My crowd? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Or can you not get Protestant lesbians?
:'''Clare''': No, I think you can get them all right, it’s just…
:'''Granda Joe''': I heard that k.d. lang on the radio yesterday. Christ, but she’s some set of pipes on her. You’re a very talented people.
:'''Clare''': Thank you?
----
:'''Michelle''': We’re doing it for peace, all right, Mary. A piece of that fine Protestant ass!
''(Erin and Michelle give a hi-five)''
:'''Clare''': God, you are such a hypocrite, Erin.
:'''Erin''': No, I’m not. I just don’t think there’s anything wrong with some cross-community… Fiddling…relations.
:'''Orla''': So, we need to head south-east for 0.5 Miles and you’ll receive further instructions shortly.
:'''Michelle''': We haven’t even left the estate yet, Orla. These Prods have some serious moves up their sleeves, you know. They’re not as fucked up about sex as we are. They’ve put the work in, they know what they’re doing.
:'''Clare''': They’re people, Michelle! They’re not sex toys!
:'''Michelle''': I beg to differ.
:'''James''': I’m really looking forward to making friends with some lads.
:'''Michelle''': Lads aren’t going to make friends with you, James. Lads make friends with other lads.
:'''James''': I am a lad.
:'''Erin''': Aye, so you are, James.
:'''Clare''': Okay, how much money do we have?
:'''Michelle''': Look, the riding of the Protestants is one thing, but I really don’t see why we have to buy them a present. I mean they already have all the land, all the jobs and all the fucking rights.
:'''Erin''': Aye, Michelle, that’s definitely the attitude we should have entering into this weekend.
----
:'''Dennis''': A present for Protestants. Ah, now my next Protestant gift delivery isn’t due to arrive until Wednesday. And as it stands, I’m completely out of stock, what with there being such a high fucking demand for that sort of thing around these parts.
:'''Orla''': That’s a shame.
:'''Clare''': How much for the Subbuteo, Dennis? 
:'''Dennis''': We’ll call it 16 quid.
:'''James''': Could we call it £1.76? 
:'''Dennis''': No, we fucking couldn’t.
:'''Erin''': How about we give you the £1.76 and we pay the rest off in installments? 
:'''Clare''': Yeah. Which would be what? £3.56 over four weeks? 
:'''Dennis''': Jesus, check out Rain Wean.
:'''Erin''': Or, you could give us the Subbuteo, and then we could work off the debt.
:'''Clare''': Yeah, we could do chores and stuff.
:'''Dennis''': Chores? What do you think this is? Little House on the fucking Prairie? 
:'''Orla''': Do you watch Little House on the Prairie, Dennis? 
:'''Dennis''': GET OUT! 
----
:'''Michelle''': ''(accepting a teddy bear from a Protestant boy)'' I’m going to keep mine on my bed, where I sleep. In me knickers.
----
:'''Father Peter''': As some of you may know, I took a bit of a sabbatical last year.
:'''Michelle''': Do you mean when you shacked up with a slutty hairdresser but then she dumped you? 
:'''Sister Michael''': Miss Mallon, please! Raise your hand if you want to ask a question.
:'''Father Peter''': Okay, I think we should just move on.
:'''Sister Michael''': The hairdresser certainly did.
----
:'''Protestant Boy''': She’s coming! 
:'''Michelle''': Who? 
:'''Protestant Boy''': The woman. The small angry penguin woman.
:'''Michelle''': Sister Michael! Shit! 
''(Sister Michael arrives)''
:'''Erin''': Oh, good evening, Sister. We just popped round because we had a few questions about the British Empire, which the boys have cleared up for us now, so… 
:'''Jenny Joyce''': They weren’t talking about the British Empire, Sister. They were having a party. I could hear the music.
:'''Sister Michael''': You will go far in life, Jenny. But you will not be well liked.

=== Ms De Brún and the Child of Prague [2.02] ===
:'''Sister Michael''': Sadly, Sister Patrick has decided to leave us. She’s returning to her missionary work, educating the heathen inhabitants of a primitive and savage place.
:'''Teacher''': She’s taken a teaching post in Belfast, Sister.
:'''Sister Michael''': Precisely.
----
:'''Uncle Colm''': And that’s not to say, now, that in my younger years, I didn’t enjoy a boiled sweet. But then I heard tell of a fella from Ballynahinch-- what was it his name was, now? I had it there a minute ago. Ach, it’ll come to me. Anyway, this Ballynahinch lad, and as I say, his name escapes me, but he was mad keen on the boiled sweets. Sure he couldn’t get enough of them. But in the end, well, didn’t he choke to death on one? A pear drop, I think it was. Or a clove rock, maybe. But either way, it’s not how I’d want to go.
----
:'''Erin''': Ms. De Brún is amazing. I’ve just never met anyone like her.
:'''James''': She’s an inspiration.
:'''Clare''': Absolutely.
:'''Michelle''': She really knows how to grab things by the balls.
:'''Clare''': Oh, yeah!
:'''Erin''': She’s changed my life, she really has.
:'''James''': She likes my accent.
:'''Orla''': I’d die for her.
:'''Erin''': I think I would too, you know.
:'''James''': Me too.
:'''Michelle''': Aye, fuck it, why not?
:'''Clare''': Yeah. I mean, obviously I totally agree. I’d die for her as well, but I’m also conscious of the fact we’ve only know her, like, two days.
:'''Erin''': And?
:'''Clare''': Well, is it a bit weird she’s invited us to her house at night?
:'''Erin''': What do you mean?
:'''Clare''': Well, she’s a teacher.
:'''Erin''': She’s much more than a teacher.
:'''Clare''': Yeah. No, obviously I get that. She’s great, but it’s just that I have a feeling it might be sort of frowned upon.
:'''Erin''': God, Clare, you’re so conditioned.
:'''Clare''': What’s that supposed to mean?
:'''Michelle''': It means you need to loosen the fuck up.
:'''Clare''': I am loose, thank you very much.
:'''Michelle''': Face it, Clare, you’re a craic killer.
:'''Clare''': I’m not a craic killer. I AM NOT A CRAIC KILLER!
----
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Well, well, well. What are you guys up to? 
:'''Erin''': Nothing much. 
:'''Clare''': We were just hanging out at Ms. De Brún’s house.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': You were at her house? At night? Well, that’s a bit inappropriate.
:'''Clare''': Your ma is a bit inappropriate.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': That doesn’t even make sense.
:'''Clare''': Your ma doesn’t even make sense.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Is she drunk? 
:'''Clare''': Your ma’s drunk.

=== The Concert [2.03] ===
:'''Aunt Sarah''': John’s really dying for peace, like, isn’t he? It’s all he ever goes on about. I hope it works out for him.
----
:'''Granda Joe''': Belfast! Sure, why don’t you just sell the wains into white slavery and be done with it? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': Gerry’ll be with them, Da.
:'''Granda Joe''': That’s worse! Sure, they hate his kind there.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': My kind? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Pricks.
----
:'''Erin''': Wise up, Mammy! As if a polar bear’s going to rock up at a Take That concert! 
:'''Orla''': He wouldn’t get a ticket, for a start. They sold out months ago.
----
''(They all go up stairs to the room)''
:'''Michelle''': Well, I’m not letting that fat furry fuck ruin the biggest day of my life.
:'''Erin''': What can we do?
''(Four of them listen to Michelle)''
:'''Michelle''': Right. Listen, girls. I’ve never told anyone this before, but sometimes, when Robbie’s being interviewed, it’s like he’s sending me messages through the TV, you know, like, telepathically or whatever. It’s like he’s saying we’re meant to be together.
:'''Erin''': Aye, maybe don’t tell that to anyone again, Michelle. Ever.
:'''Michelle''': Look, this is too important. I’m going to that concert. I’m not afraid of a fucking polar bear.
:'''Erin''': Me neither!
:'''James''': Nor me.
:'''Michelle''': Bastard!
:'''Orla''': I’ll kill it with my own two hands if I have to.
:'''Erin''': Bring it on!
:'''Michelle''': Yes!
:'''Clare''': Okay. We seem to have gone down a weird road here, people. I think we just got a bit confused. We don’t actually have to fight a polar bear. And if we did, I wouldn’t really fancy our chances because, well, they’re massive.
:'''Orla''': But there’s five of us so…
:'''Clare''': The point is the polar bear’s not the one stopping us going to the concert. It’s our mothers, and we’ll never get them to change their minds.
:'''Michelle''': We’re not gonna try and change their minds. We’re gonna do something else.
:'''James''': What?
:'''Michelle''': Lie our holes off.
----
:'''Rita''': Pop music isn’t really my thing, truth be told. It’s all so fucking soulless. Nah. I’m a classical head, all the way, but I’ve been banned from trading at Glyndebourne ever since I absolutely battered that Pavarotti fan. And when I say I battered, I mean intellectually, like. I did kick the shit out of him as well.

=== The Curse [2.04] ===
----
:'''Michelle''': You’re such a wreck-the-buzz, Clare.
:'''Clare''': Look, Michelle, drugs are illegal, drugs are addictive, but perhaps most importantly, in this country, you can lose your kneecaps if you’re caught doing them, and I like my kneecaps, Michelle. They suit my knees.
:'''Orla''': You do have cracking kneecaps, Clare.
:'''James''': Is that true?
:'''Erin''': Sort of.
----
:'''Sister Michael''': Father Thomas usually deals with the wakes, but he’s very sick at the moment. Bedridden, in fact.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': God! What caused it?
:'''Sister Michael''': Jack Daniels, mostly.
----
:'''Uncle Colm''': And now, I don’t mind a bit of a breeze – if anything, I prefer it – but thon was aggressive. So I says to myself, says I, “Colm, this is no day for a do.” 
:'''Sister Michael''': What’s happening?
:'''Uncle Colm''': For when the bride arrived – and as I say, by this stage the wind was fierce –
:'''Sister Michael''': Am I dead?
:'''Uncle Colm''': I’ve never heard wind like it. 
:'''Sister Michael''': Is this my wake?
:'''Uncle Colm''': Howling like a banshee, it was. 
:'''Sister Michael''': Am I in hell?
:'''Uncle Colm''': So the poor girl, the bride now, this is, she arrives anyway, and isn’t she no sooner out of the car than she’s lifted up in the air like a paper doll, and blown into a flowerbed.
:'''Sister Michael''': That’s actually quite funny.
----
:'''Clare''' What are we gonna do? What in under God are we gonna do?
:'''Michelle''': It’s fine.
:'''Clare''': It’s definitely not fine. There’s drug scones down there. If people eat the drug scones, then we’ve drugged those people, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': So? Drugging people isn’t a crime.
:'''James''': You’ve a very loose grasp of the law, Michelle.
:'''Erin''': What kind of person brings hash scones to a wake?
:'''Michelle''': Typical. I try and do a nice thing, and this is the thanks I get.
:'''Clare''': It’s terrible. There’s old people down there. What if an old person takes one?
:'''Michelle''': Why does everybody get so sentimental about old people? Old people are arseholes.
:'''Erin''': We have to get them back.
:'''Michelle''': Look, I’m not disagreeing with you. I bought that stuff so I could get high, not your great uncle Colm.
:'''Erin''': Christ, can you imagine?
:'''Orla''': Hold on a minute. Where did the scones go?
:'''Erin''': Okay, I’ll head for the kitchen and grab whatever’s still there. The rest of you look out for any ones that have gone rogue, and remember, be subtle.
----
:'''Michelle''': I can’t believe we’re doing this. It’s fucking heartbreaking.
:'''Erin''': Look, Granda’s had one, and now he’s acting really, really weird.
:'''Michelle''': You’re being paranoid, Erin.
:'''Erin''': He was nice to Daddy.
:'''Michelle''': Jesus!
:'''Erin''': Exactly! And if my ma starts asking questions…
:'''Michelle''': Your ma won’t trace it back to us.
:'''Erin''': Are you for real? She traces everything back to us. She traces things we haven’t even done, back to us.
:'''Clare''': Are you sure this will work?
:'''James''': This is how you get rid of drugs, Clare. I’ve seen GoodFellas, like, 20 times.
:'''Orla''': That’s not the only way. I watched this film once about this girl who was trying to hide drugs, and what she did was, she shoved them right up her--
:'''Michelle''': I’m not sticking a scone up my hole, Orla, I’ll tell you that for nothing.
:'''Clare''': Okay, I’m going to flush.
:'''Erin''': Go for it.
''(flushing multiple hash scones down the toilet; water gurgles in pipes)''
:'''Erin''': Is it working?
:'''James''': Of course it’s working.
''(Water seems to be rising)''
:'''Clare''': Is the water rising?
:'''Erin''': Jesus Christ! Why is the water rising, James?
:'''James''': I don’t know. The water didn’t rise in GoodFellas.
:'''Michelle''': Fuck! We’ve clogged it.
:'''Orla''': Who has a plunger?
:'''Erin''': I’m afraid I left the house without my plunger tonight, Orla.
:'''Orla''': Aye, me too. Nightmare, so it is.
:'''All''': Oh, whoa!

=== The Prom [2.05] ===
:'''Sister Michael''': Miss Cheung’s family have recently moved here to Derry so I hope you’ll all make her feel very welcome. It’s bound to be a bit of a culture shock, Mae. Things are done differently in this part of the world. But I’m sure you’ll soon feel as at home here as you did back in your beloved Donegal.
----
:'''Clare''': There she is. Okay, so I say we just over there and be ourselves, girls. Well, not totally ourselves. We should definitely be a bit ourselves. We could also pretend we’re sort of better than we actually are, so, I suppose what I’m saying is we could present a version of ourselves as less --
:'''Erin''': Crap.
:'''Clare''': Precisely.
:'''Michelle''': Why do we even have to talk to her?
:'''Clare''': Because she’s new, Michelle!
:'''Michelle''': Urgh! I hate people I don’t know.
:'''Clare''': And, in case you hadn’t noticed, she also happens to be Chinese. I mean, how class would it be to have a Chinese friend?!
:'''Orla''': We could keep her in my toy box.
:'''Erin''': No, we couldn’t, Orla.
:'''Orla''': Oh, she’d definitely fit.
:'''Erin''': That is not the point.
:'''Michelle''': Fine. But can we agree it’s on a strict one-in, one-out basis? If she joins the group, James has to leave.
:'''Clare''': Course!
:'''Erin''': Absolutely.
:'''James''': Excuse me?
:'''Clare''': ''(greets Mae in Chinese)''
:'''Mae Cheung''': Is she all right? 
:'''Michelle''': Burning for you, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I-It’s Cantonese.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Right. Well, I’m from Donegal and we speak English there.
:'''Michelle''': If you say so, Mae, but I spent the summer in Killybegs, and seriously? Not a fucking word.
:'''Clare''': We just wanted to introduce ourselves and --
:'''Mae Cheung''': Okay, I think I see where this is going. I get this a lot. Dull white girls wanting me to join their gang because, well…
:'''Erin''': We’re not dull.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Sure.
:'''James''': And I’m actually a boy.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Whoa. She has a really fucked-up accent.
:'''Michelle''': We know.
:'''Mae Cheung''': ''(sighs)'' What’s in this for me? What are you bringing to the table?
:'''Orla''': Cream crackers?
:'''Mae Cheung''': I’m good for cream crackers, thank you. I’ll see you around, girls. ''(She is about to leave)''
:'''Orla''': Maybe we don’t need a Chinese person. We’ve already got a lesbian.
:'''Mae Cheung''': What? Who?
:'''Clare''': Me.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Really? You don’t look like a lesbian.
:'''Clare''': What do you mean?
:'''Mae Cheung''': Just that you’re a bit…short.
:'''Clare''': Well, there’s no height restrictions… as far as I’m aware.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Interesting. I’ve always wanted a gay friend. I mean, ideally a fella.
''(Jenny and Aisling come to see them)''
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Howdy, folks!
:'''Michelle''': Christ.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': I’m Jenny. This is Aisling. We just thought we’d introduce ourselves and see if…
:'''Clare''': Too late, Jenny. She’s ours.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': I see. Look, these girls are great, but I do have a pen pal from the Caribbean, so, perhaps my circle is a little bit more diverse.
:'''Clare''': Back. Off.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Think it over. Give me a call. Oh, and FYI, the prom queen vote closes today.
:'''Michelle''': FY nobody gives a shit.
:'''Aisling''': Here’s the wee ballot.
:'''Erin''': I see you’ve thrown your hat into the ring, Jenny.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': I had my arm twisted, but feel free to tick my box.
''(They leave)''
:'''Michelle''': Dirty bitch.
----
:'''Michelle''': Well, this prom is going to be a full-blown dick-fest. You know, there isn’t even gonna be a DJ. Apparently, Jenny’s hired this fucking pensioner band.
:'''Erin''': Christ, really?
:'''Michelle''': I heard the drummer is at least 30.
:'''James''': I don’t feel so bad about missing it now. It clashes with my thing.
:'''Michelle''': The creep convention? Seriously?
:'''James''': It’s not a creep convention.
:'''Michelle''': Well, I think a load of perverts getting together to wank over some fella who fights with Hoovers and rides aliens in a telephone box, is the very fucking definition of a creep convention.
:'''James''': It's a Doctor Who night. Me and my stepdad used to watch it when I was little.
:'''Michelle''': Well, someone should have called social services then, James.
:'''Clare''': You’re not going to the prom then, James. Well, I was gonna ask you to be my date.
:'''James''': I’m sorry, Clare.
:'''Michelle''': You were gonna ask James to be your date? What the fuck’s wrong with you?
:'''Clare''': Well, it’s a bit more complicated for me.
:'''Michelle''': You’re a lesbian, Clare, not desperate.
----
:'''Erin''': Right. I say we hit Primark first.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Classy.
:'''Erin''': Yeah, well, we have about £17.50 between us, Mae, so, needs must.
:'''Michelle''': It’s grand. I swiped my ma’s credit card. ''(She shows them her ma’s credit card)''
:'''James''': Is that grand, or is that actually a criminal offense?
:'''Michelle''': Look, we’ll just whack a couple of dresses on it, don’t take the labels off, wear them to prom, then return them the next day. The money will be back in her account as quick as it went out.
:'''Clare''': No way, Jose.
:'''Michelle''': It’s totally grand, Clare. I do it all the time. You just have to make sure that you don’t, like, spill anything on it, or, like, sweat.

=== The President [2.06] ===
:'''Mary Quinn''': When JFK came to Dublin, Uncle Colm met him, and Daddy didn’t.
:'''Granda Joe''': Things are gonna be different this time, I tell you.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': JFK spoke to Colm? Christ, that man didn’t have much luck, did he? 
----
:'''Clare''': Any word from Chelsea? 
:'''Erin''': Not yet. And we sent that letter over a week ago.
:'''Clare''': Are you sure you got the address right? 
:'''Orla''': Chelsea Clinton, the White House, America.
:'''Clare''': It just doesn’t make any sense.
:'''Michelle''': Did you send it first class? 
:'''Erin''': We’re not made of money, Michelle.
----
:'''James''': Look, Bill doesn’t even get here till four o’clock tomorrow.
:'''Michelle''': “Bill?” Who are you? His Ma? 
:'''James''': We’ve got plenty of time, is all I’m saying.
:'''Clare''': Do you know how packed that Guildhall Square is gonna be, James? You’d have to camp overnight just to get a glimpse of him.
:'''Erin''': Chelsea will sort us out.
:'''Clare''': Ach, I’m not even sure I trust Chelsea anymore.
:'''Michelle''': Aye, Chelsea might be flaky.
:'''Orla''': She does have crafty eyes.
:'''Erin''': Okay, I’m not comfortable with the Chelsea-bashing, girls.
----
:'''Dennis''': That’ll be £1.99.
:'''Clare''': Right.
:'''Dennis''': Is there some sort of a problem here, girls?
:'''Clare''': Not a problem, as such. More of a-a-a question, really.
:'''Dennis''': You think I’m here to answer questions, do you? Who am I, Magnus fucking Magnusson?
:'''James''': He doesn’t answer questions, he asks them.
:'''Dennis''': Pipe the fuck down.
:'''Erin''': It’s just, it’s pink, white and purple, Dennis.
:'''Dennis''': So? 
:'''Erin''': Well, it should be red, white and blue.
:'''Dennis''': Says who? 
:'''Michelle''': The rest of the world.
:'''Clare''': There’s also quite a few stars missing.
:'''Dennis''': No, there’s not.
:'''Clare''': There’s only 30 stars here. I mean, there should be 50, just because the stars represent states, so… 
:'''Dennis''': Some of them left.
:'''Erin''': Some states left? 
:'''Dennis''': That’s right.
:'''Erin''': Some states left America? 
:'''Dennis''': Yep.
:'''Michelle''': When did this happen? 
:'''Dennis''': The other day.
:'''Orla''': God, that’s desperate.
:'''Erin''': I don’t know, I just feel like if 20 states left the USA, we might have heard about it.
:'''Dennis''': Ah, they didn’t want to make it into a big thing. So these are the new, modern, up-to-date flags. They’ve just brought them out.
:'''Erin''': Okay. It’s just, well, I’m not convinced that’s actually true.
:'''Dennis''': Well, why would I lie? 
:'''Michelle''': Because you bought a fuckload of dud flags, and you’re trying to get rid of them.
:'''Dennis''': GET OUT!
:'''Erin''': ''(exiting the shop)'' What first attracted him to a career in retail, do you think?
----
:'''Clare''': You can’t leave, James. 
:'''James''': This was always gonna happen. This was never my real life. It was just something that got in the way of it.
:'''Erin''': What are you talking about? You love it here.
:'''James''': I’m not sure I do. I think I just developed Stockholm syndrome.
:'''Michelle''': Catch yourself on. You’ve never even been to Switzerland!
----
:'''James''': Anyway, it’s not like I belong here. I never did.
:'''Michelle''': That’s not true. You’re a Derry girl now, James.
:'''James''': Piss off.
:'''Michelle''': I’m serious. It doesn’t matter that you’ve got that stupid accent, or that your bits are different to my bits, well, because being a Derry girl, well, it’s a fucking state of mind. And you’re one of us.

== Series 3 ==
=== The Night Before [3.01] ===
''(Uilleann pipes play)''
:'''Erin''': They told us we were young, yet we understood the enormity of it. We understood what was at stake. Our fear was replaced with something altogether more terrifying… hope. Hope is so much worse. With hope you something to lose…
''(Tape rewinds; voice distorts)''
:'''Michelle''': Oh, for fuck’s sake! What’s happened now?
:'''James''': Your TV is such a piece of crap.
:'''Erin''': No, it’s not. Your camera’s the problem.
:'''James''': My camera’s top of the range!
:'''Michelle''': It’s true. His ma only sends him really expensive shit, you know, to make up for the fact that she doesn’t love him.
:'''James''': Michelle!
:'''Michelle''': Oh, sorry, that came out wrong. I meant… Nope, can’t think of any other way to put that.
:'''Orla''': That actor there looks so familiar.
:'''Erin''': That’s you, Orla.
:'''James''': We’re gonna have to reshoot this footage.
:'''Michelle''': No chance!
:'''James''': Oh, come on, Michelle! These kids from Germany made a short film about the Berlin Wall, and it won as Oscar!
:'''Michelle''': Aye, but they probably had, you know, talent. Look, we need to face the fact that we’ve spent the summer making something that’s really quite shite.
:'''James''': It’s not shit, Michelle! Well, the script might need a bit of work.
:'''Erin''': Do not start on the script again! The script is a masterpiece!
:'''Michelle''': The script is boring, Erin. It doesn’t make any sense. What’s it even about?
:'''Erin''': Peace!
:'''Michelle''': Urgh, I am so fucking sick of peace! It’s all anyone ever bangs on about. Okay, I think we should just cut our losses, and make a couple of fake videos for “You’ve Been Framed.”
:'''Orla''': Oh, I can fall down three flights of stairs without even hurting myself!
:'''Michelle''': It’s £250 a pop, people!
:'''James''': No!
:'''Clare''': Can I ask something?!
:'''Erin''': Yeah.
:'''Clare''': How much longer are we gonna ignore the elephant in the room?
:'''Orla''': Where?
:'''Clare''': It’s tomorrow, girls. Tomorrow! Christ, I feel sick.
:'''James''': Why? You’re gonna walk it, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I know that! I’m not worried about me, I’m worried about you four. If you fail your GCSEs the school won’t take you back. I don’t wanna have to make new friends from scratch, I’ll have enough on my plate with the A-levels! I’m just praying you lot will scrape by!
:'''Erin''': Now, that is very considerate of you, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I know!
----
:'''Erin''': “Try to enjoy what time we have left.” It doesn’t even make any sense.
:'''Clare''': It means we’ve failed, Erin. It means no GCSEs, ergo no A-levels, ergo no university, ergo the end!
:'''Michelle''': “Ergo” wise up, Clare.
:'''Erin''': You’re overreacting.
:'''Clare''': I knew I should have cut ties with you lot a long time ago.
:'''Erin''': It’s not our fault!
:'''Clare''': Of course it’s your fault! You’ve dragged me down to your level, your stupidity has finally rubbed off of me. I was a scholar when I met you, Erin, a scholar!
:'''Erin''': You were three!
:'''Clare''': Our lives are over.
:'''Erin''': I wouldn’t say our lives are over.
:'''Clare''': Passing those exams was our only chance. We’re girls, we’re poor, we’re from Northern Ireland and we’re Catholic, for Christ’s sake!
:'''Erin''': Oh, my God, she’s right! What type of future will we have?
:'''Michelle''': We don’t need to worry about the future, Erin. If we fail, well, our mas are gonna fucking wipe us out, and dead people don’t need jobs.
:'''Clare''': Oh, thank you, Michelle. that’s very reassuring!
:'''Erin''': How bad do you think is it? Do you think it’s, like, grounded bad, or…?
:'''Michelle''': Run-away-from-home bad.
:'''Erin''': Exactly.
:'''Orla''': And if it is run-away-from-home-bad, I’m afraid I will need my snorkel back, James.
:'''James''': Okay, let’s not panic…
:'''Clare''': Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
:'''James''': Let’s just wait until tomorrow, and see what we’re dealing with.
:'''Michelle''': Or…we can see what we’re dealing with tonight.
:'''Clare''': ''(hyperventilating)'' How?!

=== The Affair [3.02] ===
:'''Erin''': You said this was dicky, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': That was before the BBC Northern Ireland thing. This could be life-changing. You know, Pamela Anderson was just an ordinary girl at a football match when a roving camera stuck her on the big screen and then, boom.
:'''James''': Yeah, but she looks like Pamela Anderson.
:'''Michelle''': Okay, James, it’s hard for you to see it because we’re related, but I’m a ride. I am a massive fucking ride.
''(Aisling and Jenny come to see them)''
:'''Jenny''': Hey, guys. Not thinking of entering, are you?
:'''Michelle''': We might be.
:'''Jenny''': That’s cute.
:'''Aisling''': So cute.
:'''Erin''': Oh, bring it on, bitches.
''(Rock music is playing in the background)''
----
:'''Michelle''': I think the best thing we could do is just to get the routine on its feet.
:'''Erin''': I agree.
:'''Michelle''': I know we’re gonna smash this, girls. We are gonna lift that trophy. We are gonna perform live on the motherfucking BBC and we’re gonna wipe that smile off Jenny Joyce’s stupid face.
:'''Erin''': Yeah.
:'''James''': Let’s do it.
:'''Michelle''': Hit it!
''(James switches the portable player on but music dies)'' ''(Later in this scene)''
:'''Michelle''': How many times do I have to fucking explain it? It is two steps forward, two steps back. It couldn’t be any fucking simpler. What the fuck is wrong with you all?!
:'''James''': You’re the one that’s out of time!
:'''Michelle''': Say that again, James, and I will floor you. I will lay you out.
:'''Erin''': T think the first bit is pretty good.
:'''Michelle''': The first bit’s shite, Erin. You look like you’re being electrocuted, and what the fuck do you think you’re doing, Clare, the Haka? ''(groans)''
''(Clare storms out of the bedroom)''
:'''Michelle''': Fuck!
----
:'''Gabriel''': ''(Off-screen)'' Come on, Mary.
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(Off-screen)'' I can’t, Gabriel.
:'''Gabriel''': ''(Off-screen)'' No one needs to find out.
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(Off-screen)'' No, look, look, it’s not like I’m not flattered.
''(Clare is sneaking up slowly and stops and stares at them)''
:'''Gabriel''': You call me when you change your mind.
:'''Mary Quinn''': When? You’re sure of yourself.
:'''Gabriel''': I know how to get what I want. ''(closing the door behind Mary Quinn)''
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Mary, I’ve got a bit of a vegetable situation going on here.
:'''Mary Quinn''': I’m coming!
----
''(Clare heads back to the bedroom to see them)''
:'''Erin''': It’s not my fault your choreography is pedestrian, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': Kiss my actual hole, Erin.
:'''James''': Look, I think we all just need to calm down.
:'''Erin and Michelle''': Piss off, James!
''(Clare knocks at the door; music stops)''
:'''Orla''': Okay, that, is it? I’m going solo.
''(Clare knocks again)''
:'''Michelle''': Oh, Christ, here we go.
:'''Erin''': Screwdriver.
:'''James''': Um, bell. Apron.
:'''Michelle''': Fanny. Big fanny? Fanny pain.
:'''Clare''': The plumber was trying to get off with Erin’s ma! The plumber was trying to get off with Erin’s ma, and now I need to give all of my sponsorship money back.
:'''James''': We’re gonna need more details, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I saw them together in the hall. He was whispering things to her, you know, suggestive things.
:'''Erin''': My ma? He was coming onto my ma? What is he, some sort of reverse pedophile?
:'''Michelle''': I bet Mary told him where to go.
:'''Clare''': Not exactly.
----
''(Horn honks)''
:'''Erin''': Couldn’t you speed up a wee bit?
:'''James''': No, I couldn’t!
:'''Clare''': Are we even moving?
:'''James''': I simply will not negotiate when it comes to road safety.
----
:'''Peter''': Please welcome to the stage, Erin, Orla, Clare, Michelle and James.
''(Applause)''
:'''Peter''': The act you’re going to perform for us tonight, well, they’re absolutely huge.
:'''Michelle''': That’s right, Peter.
:'''Peter''': Matthew.
:'''Michelle''': Matthew! Shit! I got it right in rehearsals, I just…
:'''Peter''': It doesn’t matter.
:'''Michelle''': No, I fucked it.
:'''Peter''': Okay. Give us some clues, girls.
:'''Orla''': Well, Peter… They are English, but we still like them.
:'''Clare''': They’re also probably better known by their nicknames.
:'''Peter''': Which are? And I think this just might give it away now.
:'''Erin''': Ginger! Baby! Sporty! Scary and Posh!
:'''All''': Tonight, Matthew, we’re gonna be The Spice Girls!
:'''Peter''': Girl power!
''(Applause)''

=== Stranger on a Train [3.03] ===
''(Clare and Sister Michael are waiting for the time)''
:'''Clare''': ''(clears her throat)''
:'''Sister Michael''': Here we go.
:'''Clare''': Ah! Sister Michael. Hi.
:'''Sister Michael''': Clare.
:'''Clare''': I wasn’t sure you saw me.
:'''Sister Michael''': No, no, I did.
:'''Clare''': Right. ''(thinking for a moment)'' Heading to Portrush?
:'''Sister Michael''': Yep.
:'''Clare''': Anything nice planned?
:'''Sister Michael''': No.
:'''Clare''': Okay.
:'''Ticket Seller''': ''(talking to Conor on her phone)'' I just don’t see the point. Can we just move on? All right, Conor. The truth is, you never satisfied me sexually.
:'''Clare''': Oh, please no.

=== The Haunting [3.04] ===
:'''Clare''': We had plans tonight.
:'''Michelle''': We can turn our jeans into hot pants any day of the week. We’re talking about a free house here, Clare, a free house. We’re gonna be drinking, dancing and riding.
:'''Erin''': Quick question on the old riding front there.
:'''Michelle''': Go on?
:'''Erin''': Who exactly will we be doing that with?
:'''Michelle''': Young hot farmers. Donegal is coming down with them. Big strapping lads ripped to fuck from all the turf collecting.
:'''Clare''': Oh, don’t worry about me.
:'''Michelle''': There’s actually quite a few lesbians as well, Clare.
:'''Clare''': Lesbian farmers? Really?
:'''Michelle''': Lesbian farming is actually huge in the Republic. We’ll get you sorted, don’t worry.
:'''James''': What about me? Could we pick me up a girl?
:'''Michelle''': Can we pick you up a girl?
:'''Erin''': Like she’s a thing?
:'''Orla''': ''(in the van)'' Yeah, that is so out of order, James.
:'''James''': I didn’t mean… I-I just thought…
:'''Michelle''': Well, you thought wrong, James.
:'''James''': Sorry.
:'''Michelle''': Get in the van. ''(exasperate sigh)'' Dirtbag.
----
:'''Michelle''': Arh! Where the hell are we?
:'''James''': I’ll ask this woman. ''(to Sheila)'' Excuse me? Sorry to bother you.
:'''Sheila''': ''(speaking in Irish)''
:'''James''': Jesus, is she having a stroke?
:'''Erin''': She is an Irish speaker, James.
:'''James''': Oh, why can’t everyone just speak English?
:'''Michelle''': Well, your crowd had a good stab at forcing the entire world to, but we didn’t really enjoy it much, James. Imperialist prick!
:'''James''': Can anyone ask her where this place is?
:'''Clare''': Hmm, my Irish isn’t the best. I decided to keep on French and German, because I though it would give me more options if I wanted to, like, study abroad or whatever.
:'''Michelle''': We’re not filling in your fucking UCAS from here, Clare.
:'''Sheila''': ''(speaking in Irish)''
:'''Michelle''': What’s she saying?
:'''Sheila''': ''(speaking panicky in Irish)'' ''(speaking warningly in Irish)''
:'''Michelle''': Just drive, James. Slan!
:'''Erin''': Slan!

=== The Reunion [3.05] ===
:'''Erin as Mary''': I suppose he’s right to be nervous. About the boys’ school being here, I mean.
:'''Orla as Sarah''': Why, Mary?
:'''Erin as Mary''': Tonight’s gonna be wild, Sarah!
''(“Ladies Night” by Kool &amp; The Gang is playing)''

=== Halloween [3.06] ===
''(“Gangster Trippin” by Fatboy Slim is playing)''
''(So Erin, Orla, Clare, Michelle and James are getting ready and being dressed up as Angels)''
''(Music distorts and stops)''
:'''Mary Quinn''': What are you supposed to be? Swans?
:'''Erin''': We’re not swans?
:'''Orla''': Are we not?
:'''Clare''': We’re angels.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Angels don’t use crutches.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': And swans do?
:'''Granda Joe''': You’re a swan expert now, are you?
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Yeah, that’s precisely what I said.
:'''Mary Quinn''': God love you, son. Imagine beating you up just cause you like Slimboy Fat.
:'''James''': Yeah, I still can’t quite believe it myself, actually.
''(Car horn beeps)''
:'''Clare''': That’ll be Daddy!
''(They all look out to see Daddy in the car)''
:'''Orla''': Ah, I love his wee toy car.

=== The Agreement [3.07] ===
:'''Little Boy''': 10p mix please.
:'''Michelle''': That’ll be twelve pence.
:'''Little Boy''': Twelve pence for a 10p mix?
''(Dennis appears from below the counter)''
:'''Dennis''': It’s called inflation dickhead.
:'''Michelle''': Now, GET OUT!
----
:'''Michelle''': What was the face all about?
:'''Erin''': What face?
:'''Michelle''': Earlier, when Dennis was talking about Niall you did a face.
:'''Erin''': I didn’t do a face.
:'''Michelle''': You did a face Erin. You did a face like this.
:'''Erin''': I…would never do that face. I couldn’t do that face. That face isn’t even in my repertoire.
:'''Michelle''': Oh, it’s in your repertoire alright, I’ve seen you whip it out over a dozen times, usually when you find something hard to believe. What was hard to believe Erin?
:'''Erin''': It was just when you said that you didn’t want to get your hopes up.
:'''Michelle''': Yeah! 
:'''Erin''': You don’t actually think he should get out do you? 
:'''Michelle''': He’s me brother.
:'''Erin''': He killed someone.
:'''Michelle''': I know that Erin.
:'''James''': I’m not sure we should be talking about this.
:'''Erin''': Isn’t this exactly what we should be talking about? I mean we have to vote on it.
:'''Michelle''': It wasn’t supposed to happen the way it did. 
:'''Erin''': I’m sure that poor man’s family takes great comfort in that.
:'''Michelle''': These things, they’re not black and white Erin.
:'''Erin''': Aren’t they?
:'''Michelle''': Nothing about this place is! 
:'''Erin''': Well I think the fact that you shouldn’t kill people is pretty black and white!
:'''Clare''': Awkward, awkward, awkward, oh God it’s so awkward.
:'''Michelle''': Fuck off Erin. And what would you know anyway, you’re nothing but a spoiled, selfish, sheltered wee brat.
''(Michelle storms out)''
----
:'''Michelle''': You know I’ve never even visited Niall. Me Mam wouldn’t let me, she wouldn’t let any of us. She won’t even say his name any more. He had a son, the man, he had a teenaged son. We found that out later.
:'''Erin''': I'm sorry Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': You weren’t wrong. I mean you weren’t right either. There’s no answer to any of this is there? 
:'''Erin''': No, I don’t think there is you know. 
:'''James''': Do you want to get out of here?
:'''Orla''': Can we take that wee tiny horse? No.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:UK sitcoms]]
[[Category:Channel 4 (UK) shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Teen sitcoms]]
[[Category:Single-camera sitcoms]]
[[Category:TV shows set in Northern Ireland]]</text>
      <sha1>fauh60shdhibqbe8kyy0qi0ag1pbsob</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944138</id>
      <parentid>3944123</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T08:06:01Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-22475-30</username>
        <id>3310494</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* The Ukrainian [1.04] */</comment>
      <origin>3944138</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="72121" sha1="rb8t253912nkylz0fm5s2a0ouu1hchx" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Derry Girls|Derry Girls]]''''' is a British teen sitcom created and written by [[w:Lisa McGee|Lisa McGee]]. Produced by [[w:Hat Trick Productions|Hat Trick Productions]], it is set in [[w:Derry|Derry]], [[w:Northern Ireland|Northern Ireland]] in the 1990s. The first series was broadcast in January and February 2018 on [[w:Channel 4|Channel 4]]. The second series was shown in March and April 2019.

== Series 1 ==
=== Children of the Crossfire [1.01] ===
:'''Erin''': I won’t put up with it anymore. Teenagers have rights now, you know.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Don’t be ridiculous.
:'''Erin''': They do, Ma. It’s true. Sure, Macaulay Culkin might be divorcing his parents.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Do you hear this? This’ll be someone she met at that stupid summer scheme you insisted we send her on. Her bloody “Friends Across the Barricades” thing. I have nothing against Protestants, I’m all for integration, I am, but if they’re letting their weans divorce them…
:'''Erin''': Macaulay Culkin isn’t a Protestant, Ma.
:'''Mary Quinn''': It’s only gonna give our weans ideas.
:'''Erin''': Well, he might be. I didn’t meet him at Friends Across the Barricades.
:'''Mary Quinn''': I don’t care where you met him. You’re not to see him again. Understood?
----
:'''Granda Joe''': Them weans shouldn’t have to take the bus to school. You should be driving them, you useless shite.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I have to work, Joe.
:'''Granda Joe''': Work? ''(chuckles)'' Is that what you call it?
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Yes.
:'''Granda Joe''': Why don’t you just leave my Mary alone?
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Because we’ve been married for 17 years, Joe. We have two children. And because we’re in love with each other.
:'''Erin''': Oh, boke.
:'''Granda Joe''': I’ll find some dirt on you yet, boy. I’ve got people working on it.
----
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Well, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m not enjoying this bomb.
:'''Joe Quinn''': Shocking.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Desperate.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Disgusting and disgraceful. I have an appointment in Tropicana at 12:00. Fifteen minutes in the stand up. But sure I’ll not get over the bridge at this rate. It’s going to play havoc with my build-up. This is what they want. They want ordinary people to suffer. This is what it’s all about.
:'''Erin''': I’m pretty sure interfering with your sunbed sessions isn’t very high up on anyone’s political agenda, Aunt Sarah.
----
''(The girls are not wearing their denim jackets over their blazers as agreed)''
:'''Clare''': What’s all this? I thought we were going to be individuals this year.
:'''Erin''': Look, I wanted to, Clare, but my Ma wouldn’t let me.
:'''Clare''': Well, I’m not being individual on my own!
''(Takes off jacket)''
----
:'''Erin''': Who owns the fella?
:'''Michelle''': Me. Well, come on, then, ball-ache. Are you introducing yourself, or what?
:'''James''': Hi. I’m Michelle’s cousin, James.
:'''Orla''': Why’s he making that funny noise?
:'''Michelle''': He’s English, Orla. That’s the way they talk. He’s my Auntie Kathy’s wean. I told you about my Auntie Kathy. She went to England years ago to have an abortion. Never came back. Never got the abortion, either. Lucky for you, James, eh? Ha!
:'''James''': I didn’t actually know that.
----
''(British soldiers board the school bus)''
:'''James''': What’s going on?
:'''Michelle''': I don’t know. But do you think if I told him I had an incendiary device down my knickers, he’d have a look?
:'''Erin''': Michelle, he’s a soldier.
:'''Michelle''': Ach, some of them are rides. I’m willing to admit it, even if nobody else will, because I’m a beacon of truth, Erin.
:'''Erin''': You’re a mouth, that’s what you are.
----
:'''Erin''': Please, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': No. I have no interest in David Donnelly’s spazzmo band. ''(eating Quavers)''
:'''Clare''': They look nice.
:'''Erin''': I can’t go on my own.
:'''Clare''': Are they nice?
:'''Michelle''': Bring Bobby Sands.
:'''Clare''': Sure, how could I go? I’m so weak I can barely walk.
:'''Michelle''': What about Orla?
:'''Erin''': Orla’s…
:'''Orla''': I love my wee fingers.
:'''Erin''': Orla’s mental. Come on, Michelle. I’m begging you. It’s my big chance with David. I’d do it for you.
:'''Michelle''': Fine! But we both know you’re gonna just sit in the corner like a frigid fuck.
:'''Erin''': I’m not frigid.
:'''Orla''': You’ve never even kissed a boy before. You practice on your pillow sometimes, but you don’t think that’s the same.
:'''Erin''': The reading of the diary was bad enough. I could do without the quoting it from memory.
:'''James''': Michelle, would you mind showing me where the toilet is?
:'''Michelle''': You are really starting to do my head in, do you know that?
''(PA chimes)''
:'''Woman''': Will the following pupils please report to Sister Michael’s office immediately? Erin Quinn, Orla McCool, Clare Devlin, Michelle Mallon, and the wee English fella. Thank you.
:'''Michelle''': I wonder what that could be about.
----
:'''Mary Quinn''': Erin, what in God’s name? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Did you kill that wee nun, girls? 
:'''Erin''': Of course we didn’t!
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Then why were you pissing on her dead body and making sandwiches? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Say nothing, girls. Say nothing till we’ve seen a lawyer.
----
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': Sorry I’m late, Sister. Couldn’t get over the bridge. This bloody bomb. I begged the Brits to let me take my chances, but the awkward bastards made me go the long way.
----
:'''Mr. Devlin''': Sorry to keep you waiting, Sister. How long does it take to defuse a fecking bomb? Sure the wee robots do all the work. Oh, killing nuns now, is it? 
:'''Clare''': I didn’t, Daddy!
:'''Mr. Devlin''': You wait until your mother hears about this.
----
:'''Sister Michael''': Obviously, Sister Declan’s death was extremely shocking and unexpected. We’re still struggling to understand exactly what happened.
:'''Erin''': Yeah? Can I just ask, what age was Sister Declan? 
:'''Sister Michael''': She’d have been 98 on Friday.
:'''Erin''': Right. Might that shed some light on the situation? 
:'''Sister Michael''': How so? 
:'''Erin''': Does anybody else have any thoughts on the whole “her being almost 98 years of age” thing?
:'''Granda Joe''': Struck down in her prime.

=== Part-Time Job [1.02] ===
:'''Sister Michael''': On Monday morning, several of our Year 13s will face their GCSE maths resit. Now, I know how daunting resit examinations can be, so if anyone is feeling anxious or worried, or even if you just want to chat, please, please, do not come crying to me.
----
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Okay, that is one portion of redfish, one portion of whitefish, two bags of chips – 
:'''Granda Joe''': No, no, no! Two bags won’t be enough.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Two’s plenty, Joe.
:'''Granda Joe''': Four! Four should cover it.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Three, then. We’ll compromise.
:'''Granda Joe''': I’ll compromise you through that window.
:'''Mary Quinn''': That’s enough, Da.
:'''Granda Joe''': The tight bastard’s trying to starve us all, Mary!
----
:'''Erin''': Any luck with the trust fund?
:'''Clare''': No. According to my mam, we’re actually quite poor.
:'''Erin''': Aye, I think we might be as well.
----
:'''Uncle Colm''': There was a knock at the door, this must have been, ach, we’re talking eight, half eight, for I was halfway through me dinner. And up I got to open it, and there they both were, large as life. And the taller fella, though, to be fair, there was no more than an inch in it.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Jesus wept.
:'''Uncle Colm''': The slightly taller fella, he says to me, says he, “Do you know who we are?” 
:'''Granda Joe''': How’s a body supposed to enjoy his dinner? 
:'''Uncle Colm''': And I says to him, says I, “Well, I can’t be sure now, but maybe if you took off the balaclavas.” And then he says to me, the slightly taller fella does, he says, “Step aside. We are armed.”
:'''Orla''': Class.
:'''Uncle Colm''': And that’s when the smaller fella, although, as I say, we are talking an inch…
:'''Erin''': Mammy, make it stop.
:'''Uncle Colm''': …an inch and a half at most.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': I need a drink.
:'''Uncle Colm''': He has the bright idea of tying me to the radiator, you see. And I remember saying to myself, says I, “Colm, it’s a good job you have the Economy 7 on the old timer, or you’d be roasted here.”
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Did you go for the Economy 7 in the end, Colm? I thought you said the hot water settings were a minefield? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': For the love of God, Sarah, no diversions, please.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Aye, come on, let’s pick it up. They tied you to the heater.
:'''Uncle Colm''': They did indeed. And there I am, shackled to the thermostatic valve with me new shoelaces, when one of them, the smaller fella, or, hang on, maybe it was the--
:'''Gerry Quinn''': It doesn’t matter, Colm.
:'''Uncle Colm''': Well, it was one of the two. He’s looking for the keys to the van, all ranting and raving and getting himself all worked up, threatening to set fire to my good chaise lounge and all sorts. By Jesus, they were absolutely desperate to borrow thon van.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Colm, they didn’t borrow your van. They stole your van, used it to move arms across the border, and then they blew it up.
:'''Uncle Colm''': Aye. Nightmare altogether.
----
:'''Clare''': You will never guess what she’s done this time, Erin.
:'''Erin''': Did she nick the noticeboard from the chip shop, Clare?
----
:'''Erin''': So, firstly we have the tutoring. And out of everyone, I thought you might be best suited to that, Clare, because--
:'''Clare''': I’m the brightest.
:'''Erin''': Well, in that conventional sort of way, I suppose. There’s also some babysitting. The child will be in bed, so you should just about be able to manage that, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': Oh, thanks. And you should just about be able to manage this.
:'''Erin''': Always the lady. There’s also some gardening, mowing a lawn, et cetera. This will require a bit of muscle, so… you should take that one, Orla.
:'''James''': No, I should do that one. It’s a man’s job, Erin. I’m a man.
:'''Michelle''': That’s debatable.
:'''James''': Well, I’m more of a man than Orla.
:'''Orla''': I do not accept that.
:'''James''': Come on, Erin.
:'''Erin''': Fine. So that leaves dog-walking and washing a car.
:'''Orla''': Is it a Renault Clio?
:'''Erin''': No.
:'''Orla''': I’ll take the dogs.
:'''Erin''': Okay.
''(“Little Green Bag” by George Baker Selection is playing)''
:'''Erin''': Let’s go to work.
----
:'''Clare''': It’s slave labor, Erin!
:'''Orla''': It’s worse than slave labor. We’re not even getting paid!
----
''(They all walk upstairs to see what is going on; Michelle is doing the yoga)'' ''(“No Limit” by 2 Unlimited is playing)''
:'''Michelle''': All right?
''(But Erin stops the music)''
:'''Michelle''': Boo!
:'''Clare''': Where’d you get all this?
:'''Michelle''': Fionnula’s cupboard. I think she might have a bit of a problem.
:'''Erin''': You think Fionnula might have a bit of a problem? Put it away and get back downstairs, now.
:'''Michelle''': Sit yourselves down. Have a wee drink.
:'''Clare''': No, Michelle. It’s wrong.
:'''Michelle''': So are those ski pants, Clare, but that didn’t stop you pulling them over your hole this morning. Wait for it. ''(She starts lighting the scented candles of the alcohol)''
:'''Clare''': Michelle!
:'''Michelle''': Don’t be a shower of bore bags. ''(She carries the scented candles)'' Sláinte, motherfuckers.
:'''Erin''': No, no, no, no!
:'''Michelle''': Fuck, fuck, fuck! ''(She accidentally drops the scented candles on the floor which makes the fire spreads on the floor to the curtains)''
----
''(After tying Orla, Clare and Michelle to the radiators, Aunt Sarah and Mary Quinn tie James and Erin at the radiators)''
:'''Erin''': Why would two gunmen break into a chippy?
:'''James''': Ah! That really hurt.
:'''Michelle''': You’re such a pussy.
:'''Erin''': What were they looking for?
:'''Orla''': Chips, obviously.
:'''Mary Quinn''': They were looking for the keys to the van. Keep up, Erin.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Do you think we should knock them about a bit?
:'''Mary Quinn''': No.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Nothing drastic. Just a few slaps.
:'''Mary Quinn''': I said no, Sarah.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': What, not even the wee gay fella?
:'''James''': I’m not gay.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Okay, that should do it. Ready?
:'''Clare''': I hate to be a health and safety stickler, but surely you’re not actually planning on leaving us like this, are you?
''(They hear the door slamming)''
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(whispering)'' Back door. Back door. Back door. Hurry up.
''(Mary Quinn and Aunt Sarah leave)'' ''(“La Mer” by Charles Trenet is playing)'' ''(Fionnula returns back realizing what happened to these curtains)''
:'''Clare''': ''(gasps)''
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(whispering)'' Push it, push it.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': I’m pushing! I’m pushing it!
:'''Mary Quinn''': Hurry up!
:'''Aunt Sarah''': It’s locked!
''(They all come back to see Fionnula)''
:'''Fionnula''': What the fuck’s going on here, exactly?!
:'''Mary Quinn''': Okay… Um, all right. Well, what happened was… ''(pointing to Michelle)'' Michelle was carrying this scented candle…
''(“Never Gonna Get It” by En Vogue is playing)''
:'''Granda Joe''': It’s just not as nice.

=== The Miracle [1.03] ===
:'''Clare''': Sweet suffering Jesus. It’s the morning already?! What are we gonna do?
:'''Michelle''': Well maybe we could start with calming the fuck down.
:'''Clare''': Calm down? We’re still on William of Orange, Michelle! We haven’t so much looked at the famine! 
:'''Michelle''': We’ve got the gist. They ran out of spuds. Everyone was raging.
:'''James''': Well, I can’t tell my rebellions from my risings.
:'''Michelle''': And whose fault’s that? If your lot had stopped invading us for five fucking minutes, there’d be a lot less to wade through! You English prick.
----
:'''Erin''': It’s abuse. That’s what it is. It’s abusive. Does anybody have 10p? I’m ringing Childline.
:'''Michelle''': You can’t ring Childline every time your ma threatens to kill you, Erin.
:'''Clare''': Yeah, you can’t waste Esther’s time like that.
:'''Michelle''': And anyway, you’re not alone We’re all gonna fail. We’re all gonna get our holes kicked, and we’re all in the same boat.
:'''Clare''': I don’t wanna be in that boat! I wanna be in a different boat, sailing down a totally different river!
:'''James''': Guys, all we can do is try our best.
:'''Michelle''': Ach, don’t be such a fruit, James!
:'''Erin''': Oh, my God! Look!
''(They all stare at the dog stroked by the army)''
:'''Erin''': Doesn’t that dog look like Toto?
:'''James''': Oh, I suppose it does a bit, yeah.
:'''Erin''': Looks exactly like him. Here, boy! ''(running over to him)'' Come here, boy! Here, boy! Come here, boy! Here, boy! Come here! Here, boy! Here, boy!
----
:'''Sister Michael''': ''(on the phone)'' Could you put me through to Sister Thomas, please? Tommy! How are you? Yeah, not too bad. A retreat? ''(tuts)'' I dunno. I have judo on Friday. Don’t like to miss it. Now, I’ll tell you why I’m ringing you. So we’ve had an alleged apparition here this morning. Well, it’s in the weeping statue category. Sure, I know. Yeah, apparently there was a smirk as well. ''(chuckles)'' I mean, I’m not sure what Our Lady of the Sorrows has to be smirking about, but that’s by the by.
----
:'''Father Peter''': Directly before the weeping, can you remember what you were doing, what you were talking about?
:'''Michelle''': I remember that James was being a dick.
:'''Sister Michael''': Miss Mallon.
:'''Michelle''': I don’t like to use that word, Sister, but it’s so hard to describe James any other way, ‘cause he’s just such a dick.
:'''Father Peter''': I don’t think you’re a dick, James.
:'''James''': Really? 
:'''Father Peter''': Really. And you know who else doesn’t think you’re a dick? Our Lord.
:'''Sister Michael''': For feck’s sake.
:'''Michelle''': How do you know Our Lord doesn’t think he’s a dick? 
:'''Father Peter''': Our Lord doesn’t think anyone’s a dick.
:'''Michelle''': I very much doubt that.
----
:'''Mary Quinn''': I also have a question, pretty boy. Why are you encouraging all this? 
:'''Father Peter''': I wouldn’t say I’m encouraging it, I’m just open to the possibility.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Well, I’m not. Not unless I see some cold, hard evidence.
:'''Father Peter''': And maybe it’s there. Proof at last, Peter, proof at last.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Is he all right? 
:'''Sister Michael''': I wouldn’t say so, no. He’s a priest, like.

=== The Ukrainian [1.04] ===
:'''Granda Joe''': You don’t know a Jack McGinley, do you? Moved to Moscow, ‘88, ‘89, it would have been.
:'''Erin''': Seriously?
:'''Katya''': No.
:'''Granda Joe''': Stocky fella.
:'''Katya''': No.
:'''Granda Joe''': Curly hair, bit of a lisp.
:'''Katya''': I do not know this person.
:'''Granda Joe''': Ah, maybe just as well, love. He’s an awful prick.
----
:'''Erin''': So, Katya, I’ve done a bit of an itinerary for your stay. You should have received a copy in my last letter.
:'''Katya''': I don’t read your letters, Erin.
:'''Erin''': I’m sorry? I don’t follow.
:'''Katya''': Your letters, they bore.
:'''Erin''': They’re boring.
:'''Katya''': Exactly.
:'''Erin''': That’s not what I--
:'''Katya''': I can smoke here, yes?
:'''Erin''': No. No, you can’t. Mammy’s like a bloodhound.
''(Michelle, Clare and James peep in)''
:'''Michelle''': Your ma said we could come up and have a look at the Russian.
:'''Erin''': Ukrainian. 
:'''Michelle''': Is this her? 
:'''Orla''': Isn’t she cracker? She’s half mine.
:'''Erin''': No, she’s not, Orla.
:'''Orla''': Aye, she is. Mammy said so.
:'''Michelle''': You’re so lucky, Erin. I begged my ma to let me have one, but she said we’ve no room now that my dickhead, ball-bag, English prick of a cousin’s moved in. Talking about you, James, in case you’re wondering.
:'''James''': Yeah, that much was clear. Thank you, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': Have you seen the one Jenny Joyce got, the fella? Massive, massive ride. I’ve been thinking. Maybe time for me to lose the rest of my virginity. And he’s definitely a contender. You help me. You put in good word with your Cossack friend. So we can… ''(makes squishing sounds)''
:'''Erin''': Would you stop that?
:'''Clare''': I’m very sorry for all your trouble, you know, the whole hoo-ha at the power plant.
:'''Katya''': Okay.
:'''Clare''': When you think about it, we’ve actually got a lot in common ‘cause we understand what it’s like to be a young person from a troubled place.
:'''Katya''': Hm, it is not the same. Chernobyl was terrible nuclear accident. You people like to fight each other, and, to be honest, no person really understands why.
:'''Erin''': Well, there’s actually a political element to it, Katya, and there’s a religious element.
:'''Katya''': But you’re not two different religions here. You’re different flavours of same religion, no?
:'''Erin''': Well, yes, but… It’s a little bit more complicated than that, Katya.
:'''Katya''': To me, is stupid.
:'''Clare''': Oh, my God. It is stupid. It is so, so stupid.
:'''Katya''': Who is this?
:'''Erin''': Oh, that’s just James.
:'''Katya''': You are handsome.
:'''James''': ''(gasps)''
:'''Katya''': And also sexy.
:'''Michelle''': Is her English not great?
''(Katya stands up and kisses James)''
:'''Clare''': What’s happening?
:'''Erin''': Why would she do that? Why?
:'''Michelle''': Fuck knows. He’s minging.
:'''Orla''': She seems to be really enjoying it.
:'''Erin''': Is he enjoying it?
:'''Michelle''': It’s hard to tell.
:'''Clare''': Well, if he’s not enjoying it, isn’t that sort of sexual harassment?
:'''Erin''': Yeah, we should put a stop to it.
:'''Clare''': Aye.
:'''Orla''': Does anyone want a Fruit Pastille?
----
:'''Mary Quinn''': Have you any news, Da? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Not really, no.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Right. Shay Harkham was telling me you were in Duggan’s Bakery yesterday lunchtime.
:'''Granda Joe''': Well, that’s hardly news.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Two buns, he said you ordered.
:'''Granda Joe''': Well, I often do.
:'''Mary Quinn''': An apple turnover… and a cream horn.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': A cream horn? 
:'''Erin''': That’s not like you, Granda.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Sure, you couldn’t pay you to eat a cream horn.
:'''Granda Joe''': Cream finger, it was. Apple turnover and a cream finger.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Cream horn, Shay said. He swore on it, said he saw it being bagged up. 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': And Big Shay has eyes like a hawk, so he does. 
:'''Mary Quinn''': Shay said when you left Duggan’s, you turned up Pump Street.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Pump Street? Who do you know on Pump Street, Da?
:'''Mary Quinn''': What were you doing heading up Pump Street with a cream horn, Da? 
:'''Granda Joe''': I was visiting a friend of mine.
:'''Mary Quinn''': What friend? 
:'''Granda Joe''': A new friend.
:'''Mary Quinn''': A male friend, was it? Aye, I thought as much. Buying cream horns for his fancy woman, Sarah, what do you think of that?
----
:'''Granda Joe''': Maeve and me, we’re - We just get on well, that’s all.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Maeve? That’s her name, is it? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Yes, that’s right.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Maeve? That’s what she’s called, is she? 
:'''Granda Joe''': She is, aye.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Maeve? Maeve? Really? Maeve? I cannot believe this.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I think it’s a good thing, love.
:'''Granda Joe''': Just keep out of it, you! 
:'''Mary Quinn''': And that’s who you were winking at in Mass? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Winking? At your age? Christ, I feel sick.
:'''Granda Joe''': It was only a friendly wink.
:'''Mary Quinn''': There is no such thing as a friendly wink! 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Is there not? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': Our poor mother is barely cold and you’re straight back out there, winking away.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Your mother’s been dead ten years, Mary.
:'''Granda Joe''': Look, I’ll not tell you again!
----
:'''Mary Quinn''': Can you believe him? Flaunting it in our faces like this.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': I don’t even know the man anymore.
:'''Granda Joe''': Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.
:'''Both''': Amen.
:'''Maeve''': Unbelievable.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Jammie Dodger?
:'''Maeve''': Blessed art thou, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
----
:'''Michelle''': Shh! You’ll scare Clive.
:'''Erin''': Who’s Clive? 
:'''Michelle''': Clive. Clive is a wee Prod from East Belfast. Clive came back from Ibiza, got on the wrong bus at Aldergrove Airport, then fell asleep. Clive woke up in Derry, surrounded by Russians and Fenians. Clive is absolutely shitting himself.
:'''Erin''': So where's the real Artem? 
:'''Michelle''': Giant’s Causeway, probably. Foreigners fucking love the Giant’s Causeway.

=== Holiday [1.05] ===
:'''Mary Quinn''': Already? It’s started already? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I think it’s just a rehearsal, love.
:'''Mary Quinn''': They’ve been playing the same three songs since 1795, what do they need to rehearse for? 
----
:'''Gerry Quinn''': You’re absolutely sure we need the big clock, love? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': We’ve been through this, Gerry.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Definitely don’t want to bring the wee clock? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': I can’t be doing with the wee clock! 
:'''Granda Joe''': What is your problem with the big clock? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I wouldn’t say I have a problem, as such, it’s just much heavier and takes up a lot of room.
:'''Granda Joe''': I’m telling you, Mary, that’s how it starts -- now he’s dictating what size of clock you can pack. Next he’ll be telling you what to wear, what to say. Before you know it, you’ll be faking your own death and assuming a new identity.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Erin, I told you not to let him watch that Sleeping With The Enemy.
:'''Erin''': Couldn’t stop him, Mammy.
:'''Granda Joe''': Great show.
----
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Listen, Mary, I just did a reading. The cards say if we go on this wee holiday, we’re placing ourselves in grave danger, which I’m not buzzing about, to be honest.
:'''Erin''': You’re not psychic, Aunt Sarah.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': I am psychic, Erin. I did a course. I got a certificate. Aye, this does not look good.
:'''Granda Joe''': Still no sign of the lottery numbers? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': No, Daddy. This psychic carry-on, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, you know? Last night, I woke up to this wailing sound. I thought to myself, “Jesus, it’s Granny Pat! She’s trying to cross over!” Now, it turned out it was only Aggie next door. She’d put the electric blanket on full whack and scalded the legs o’ herself. But still, it could just as easily have been – 
:'''Erin''': The disembodied spirit of a dead relative? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Exactly. My nerves are wrecked. I’m living on a knife’s edge here. Is there any Rice Krispies? 
----
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': Listen, Mary, I hate to do this to you, but me and Martin are both working nights and I’m nervous about leaving these two on their own. Don’t suppose there’s any chance you could take them with you? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': Ach, away, Deirdre, it’s just – 
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': The English thing? Listen, Mary, I understand. I mean, he’s my nephew, and even I find it hard to get past. If I’m totally honest, there’s times when I look at him and I feel… well, it’s pure hatred. I’ll not dress it up.
:'''Mary Quinn''': No, no, it’s not the English thing.
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': I hope to God it’s not the gay thing you’re offended by.
:'''James''': There is no gay thing.
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': Because I’d be disappointed in you, Mary, I’ll not lie.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Of course not. I mean, if anything, the gay thing sort of cancels out the English thing.
:'''James''': Again, no gay thing.
:'''Michelle''': You wouldn’t move over there, James? I can’t see past your massive closet.
----
:'''Jim''': Now, once your tent is erect, you’ll want to think about where to safely store your food, because believe me, girls, you do not want to attract predatory animals into your sleeping area. Bears are particularly vicious.
:'''Erin''': Yeah, I’m not sure how many bears there are in Portnoo, though, Jim.
:'''Orla''': But there was a cheetah on the beach one time.
:'''Erin''': That was a greyhound, Orla.
:'''Orla''': I know what I saw.
----
:'''Erin''': You can’t marry an Orangeman, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': That’s a pity, ‘cause I think there’s something really sexy about the fact that they hate us so much.
----
''(“Holiday” by Madonna is playing)'' ''(They all set off in the countryside)''
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I hope your father appreciates the fact that I was the one who got us out of that mess.
:'''Mary Quinn''': He won’t. Nobody back there actually believed you were a Japanese tourist, Gerry. They all thought you were a nutcase. They took pity on you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Dear God, no.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': What’s wrong?
:'''Mary Quinn''': I can’t find my purse.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I can see your purse right there.
:'''Mary Quinn''': No, no, that’s my sterling purse. I’m talking about my punt purse. I can’t find my punt purse, Gerry. Blessed Saint Anthony, the grace of God has made you the patron saint of all things lost and stolen. I turn to you this day with childlike love and deep confidence--
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Look, Mary, calm down--
:'''Mary Quinn''': Calm down, Gerry? We have no punts! We can’t go to the Free State without punts. We’re puntless. We haven’t a punt between us. Oh, God, I think… I think I’m having a panic attack. Oh, stupid punts.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Over this? So what happened back there was totally fine, but ''this'' is worth having a panic attack about?
:'''Mary Quinn''': You have to turn around.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': There is more chance of me eloping with your father to a flip-flop shop in Hawaii--
:'''Mary Quinn''': Look, okay, fine! But that means we won’t be able to buy anything, which means we’ll have no food, which means we’ll all starve to death. So, you know, on your head be it, Gerry. Oh, actually, do you know what? I think I put it in the suitcase.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': False alarm there, Saint Anthony. Sorry for troubling you.

=== The Wee Lesbian [1.06] ===
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Orla has got really into step aerobics. Her instructor says she’s a natural. Says she’s got what it takes to go all the way.
:'''Mary Quinn''': All the way in step aerobics? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': But it’s out of control now, Mary. She’s stepping morning, noon and night. Apart from anything else, it’s dangerous. She nearly came through the ceiling yesterday. Okay, she might be gifted, but I just want her to have a normal childhood.
----
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Er, look, I’m sorry. Do you absolutely need it? 
:'''Ciaran''': I’m afraid I do, sir, yes. Proof of ID.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': But you have my surname written on it there.
:'''Ciaran''': How do I know that’s your surname? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Because I just told you it was my surname.
:'''Ciaran''': You could be lying.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Why would I lie? 
:'''Ciaran''': To get your hands on someone else’s photos.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Why would I want somebody else’s photos? Like, who would pay for somebody else’s photos? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Stalker, maybe.
:'''Ciaran''': Yeah, exactly. Very good, sir. A stalker.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I’m not a stalker.
:'''Ciaran''': Look, why don’t you just go home and have a wee look for your wee docket? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': No. This is ridiculous. Just open that up and take out one of the photos. You see? That’s me wife there.
:'''Ciaran''': How do I know you’re not just telling me that? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Cos that’s me standing beside her.
:'''Ciaran''': I suppose you do look a bit like this man.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I am this man.
:'''Ciaran''': It could be you.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': It’s definitely me. My name is Gerry Quinn. This is my father-in-law, Joe. He can vouch for me.
:'''Granda Joe''': I’ve never seen this man before in my life.
----
:'''Sister Michael''': I’ve just received a phone call from Louise Kerr’s mother, and it’s not looking great.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Oh, God, I just can’t believe it.
:'''Sister Michael''': It’s unlikely she’ll be returning to school before the end of the year, so I think the only thing we can do now is --
:'''Aisling''': Pray for her? 
:'''Sister Michael''': No. What use would that do? No, I think the best thing we can do is decide who will fulfil the role of editor now.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Sister Michael, some of us have actually already discussed this eventuality, and the thing is, well, nobody is comfortable stepping into Louise’s shoes.
:'''Aisling''': It feels a bit, sort of, disrespectful.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': We think this issue should be cancelled.
:'''Sister Michael''': Well, fair enough, if nobody is willing to take her place.
:'''Erin''': I’ll do it.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Excuse me? 
:'''Erin''': I’ll take her place. I’ll step into her shoes. I’ll do it.
:'''Sister Michael''': Really? 
:'''Erin''': Absolutely.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': No, you can’t. We are making a statement. You’re ruining our statement!
:'''Erin''': Look, girls, I know Louise meant a lot to you all.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': She’s not dead, Erin!
:'''Erin''': Well, not yet. Hopefully she won’t, you know, die, but if she does, the show must go on! Isn’t that right, Sister Michael? 
:'''Sister Michael''': You terrify me.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': You can’t be the editor! 
:'''Aisling''': You’ve never even written an article, Erin.
:'''Erin''': That’s because I can’t get anything past Rupert Murdoch over there!
:'''Jenny Joyce''': This isn’t fair. You can’t let it happen, Sister!
:'''Sister Michael''': I know. But I’m bored now, so it looks like I probably will. Good luck, all.
----
:'''Erin''': This was written by a girl. A real life lesbian walks among us.
:'''Orla''': I don’t really believe in lesbians.
----
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Do you not think there’s an awful lot of lesbians about nowadays? You can’t move for lesbians. It’s wall to wall lesbians out there.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Really? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Oh, it’s true. Bridget Gallagher, she’s a lesbian.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Bridget Gallagher, who works in the post office? 
:'''Granda Joe''': I believe so.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Is she not a vegetarian, Da? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Sorry, you’re right. Vegetarian, Bridget is.
----
''(“Let’s Talk About Sex” by Salt-N-Pepa is playing)''
:'''Michelle''': Read all about the wee dyke.
:'''Erin''': We will not be censored!
:'''Orla''': Lesbians really do exist!
:'''James''': I support gays, even though I, myself, am not actually gay!
:'''Erin''': Come on, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I don’t wanna get involved. I’m sorry.
:'''Erin''': Coward!
----
:'''Sister Michael''': ''(after a choral performance)'' Lovely, altogether. You know, every year I sit backstage listening to the singers and it really makes me realize just how talented the professionals who originally recorded these tracks were.

== Series 2 ==
=== Across the Barricade [2.01] ===
:'''Erin''': That summer was a remarkable one. It was the summer we dared to dream. For generations, we’d known nothing but violence. Nothing but hatred. But finally we were saying, “Enough is enough.” Finally, we were saying, “Let’s give peace a chance.”
''(Orla opens the bathroom door)''
:'''Orla''': She’s up here!
:'''Erin''': Jesus Christ!
:'''Orla''': She’s pretending she’s on Parkinson again.
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(Off-screen)'' Parkinson? Does she know what time it is? I’ll Parkinson her. I’ve enough on my plate without Parkinson.
:'''Erin''': Close the door! ''(But Orla comes in and closes the door)'' No, Orla. Leave, then close the door.
''(Orla leaves and then closes the door)''
:'''Erin''': And it was Wogan, for your information!
----
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Will any of your crowd be going, love? 
:'''Clare''': My crowd? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Or can you not get Protestant lesbians?
:'''Clare''': No, I think you can get them all right, it’s just…
:'''Granda Joe''': I heard that k.d. lang on the radio yesterday. Christ, but she’s some set of pipes on her. You’re a very talented people.
:'''Clare''': Thank you?
----
:'''Michelle''': We’re doing it for peace, all right, Mary. A piece of that fine Protestant ass!
''(Erin and Michelle give a hi-five)''
:'''Clare''': God, you are such a hypocrite, Erin.
:'''Erin''': No, I’m not. I just don’t think there’s anything wrong with some cross-community… Fiddling…relations.
:'''Orla''': So, we need to head south-east for 0.5 Miles and you’ll receive further instructions shortly.
:'''Michelle''': We haven’t even left the estate yet, Orla. These Prods have some serious moves up their sleeves, you know. They’re not as fucked up about sex as we are. They’ve put the work in, they know what they’re doing.
:'''Clare''': They’re people, Michelle! They’re not sex toys!
:'''Michelle''': I beg to differ.
:'''James''': I’m really looking forward to making friends with some lads.
:'''Michelle''': Lads aren’t going to make friends with you, James. Lads make friends with other lads.
:'''James''': I am a lad.
:'''Erin''': Aye, so you are, James.
:'''Clare''': Okay, how much money do we have?
:'''Michelle''': Look, the riding of the Protestants is one thing, but I really don’t see why we have to buy them a present. I mean they already have all the land, all the jobs and all the fucking rights.
:'''Erin''': Aye, Michelle, that’s definitely the attitude we should have entering into this weekend.
----
:'''Dennis''': A present for Protestants. Ah, now my next Protestant gift delivery isn’t due to arrive until Wednesday. And as it stands, I’m completely out of stock, what with there being such a high fucking demand for that sort of thing around these parts.
:'''Orla''': That’s a shame.
:'''Clare''': How much for the Subbuteo, Dennis? 
:'''Dennis''': We’ll call it 16 quid.
:'''James''': Could we call it £1.76? 
:'''Dennis''': No, we fucking couldn’t.
:'''Erin''': How about we give you the £1.76 and we pay the rest off in installments? 
:'''Clare''': Yeah. Which would be what? £3.56 over four weeks? 
:'''Dennis''': Jesus, check out Rain Wean.
:'''Erin''': Or, you could give us the Subbuteo, and then we could work off the debt.
:'''Clare''': Yeah, we could do chores and stuff.
:'''Dennis''': Chores? What do you think this is? Little House on the fucking Prairie? 
:'''Orla''': Do you watch Little House on the Prairie, Dennis? 
:'''Dennis''': GET OUT! 
----
:'''Michelle''': ''(accepting a teddy bear from a Protestant boy)'' I’m going to keep mine on my bed, where I sleep. In me knickers.
----
:'''Father Peter''': As some of you may know, I took a bit of a sabbatical last year.
:'''Michelle''': Do you mean when you shacked up with a slutty hairdresser but then she dumped you? 
:'''Sister Michael''': Miss Mallon, please! Raise your hand if you want to ask a question.
:'''Father Peter''': Okay, I think we should just move on.
:'''Sister Michael''': The hairdresser certainly did.
----
:'''Protestant Boy''': She’s coming! 
:'''Michelle''': Who? 
:'''Protestant Boy''': The woman. The small angry penguin woman.
:'''Michelle''': Sister Michael! Shit! 
''(Sister Michael arrives)''
:'''Erin''': Oh, good evening, Sister. We just popped round because we had a few questions about the British Empire, which the boys have cleared up for us now, so… 
:'''Jenny Joyce''': They weren’t talking about the British Empire, Sister. They were having a party. I could hear the music.
:'''Sister Michael''': You will go far in life, Jenny. But you will not be well liked.

=== Ms De Brún and the Child of Prague [2.02] ===
:'''Sister Michael''': Sadly, Sister Patrick has decided to leave us. She’s returning to her missionary work, educating the heathen inhabitants of a primitive and savage place.
:'''Teacher''': She’s taken a teaching post in Belfast, Sister.
:'''Sister Michael''': Precisely.
----
:'''Uncle Colm''': And that’s not to say, now, that in my younger years, I didn’t enjoy a boiled sweet. But then I heard tell of a fella from Ballynahinch-- what was it his name was, now? I had it there a minute ago. Ach, it’ll come to me. Anyway, this Ballynahinch lad, and as I say, his name escapes me, but he was mad keen on the boiled sweets. Sure he couldn’t get enough of them. But in the end, well, didn’t he choke to death on one? A pear drop, I think it was. Or a clove rock, maybe. But either way, it’s not how I’d want to go.
----
:'''Erin''': Ms. De Brún is amazing. I’ve just never met anyone like her.
:'''James''': She’s an inspiration.
:'''Clare''': Absolutely.
:'''Michelle''': She really knows how to grab things by the balls.
:'''Clare''': Oh, yeah!
:'''Erin''': She’s changed my life, she really has.
:'''James''': She likes my accent.
:'''Orla''': I’d die for her.
:'''Erin''': I think I would too, you know.
:'''James''': Me too.
:'''Michelle''': Aye, fuck it, why not?
:'''Clare''': Yeah. I mean, obviously I totally agree. I’d die for her as well, but I’m also conscious of the fact we’ve only know her, like, two days.
:'''Erin''': And?
:'''Clare''': Well, is it a bit weird she’s invited us to her house at night?
:'''Erin''': What do you mean?
:'''Clare''': Well, she’s a teacher.
:'''Erin''': She’s much more than a teacher.
:'''Clare''': Yeah. No, obviously I get that. She’s great, but it’s just that I have a feeling it might be sort of frowned upon.
:'''Erin''': God, Clare, you’re so conditioned.
:'''Clare''': What’s that supposed to mean?
:'''Michelle''': It means you need to loosen the fuck up.
:'''Clare''': I am loose, thank you very much.
:'''Michelle''': Face it, Clare, you’re a craic killer.
:'''Clare''': I’m not a craic killer. I AM NOT A CRAIC KILLER!
----
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Well, well, well. What are you guys up to? 
:'''Erin''': Nothing much. 
:'''Clare''': We were just hanging out at Ms. De Brún’s house.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': You were at her house? At night? Well, that’s a bit inappropriate.
:'''Clare''': Your ma is a bit inappropriate.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': That doesn’t even make sense.
:'''Clare''': Your ma doesn’t even make sense.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Is she drunk? 
:'''Clare''': Your ma’s drunk.

=== The Concert [2.03] ===
:'''Aunt Sarah''': John’s really dying for peace, like, isn’t he? It’s all he ever goes on about. I hope it works out for him.
----
:'''Granda Joe''': Belfast! Sure, why don’t you just sell the wains into white slavery and be done with it? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': Gerry’ll be with them, Da.
:'''Granda Joe''': That’s worse! Sure, they hate his kind there.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': My kind? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Pricks.
----
:'''Erin''': Wise up, Mammy! As if a polar bear’s going to rock up at a Take That concert! 
:'''Orla''': He wouldn’t get a ticket, for a start. They sold out months ago.
----
''(They all go up stairs to the room)''
:'''Michelle''': Well, I’m not letting that fat furry fuck ruin the biggest day of my life.
:'''Erin''': What can we do?
''(Four of them listen to Michelle)''
:'''Michelle''': Right. Listen, girls. I’ve never told anyone this before, but sometimes, when Robbie’s being interviewed, it’s like he’s sending me messages through the TV, you know, like, telepathically or whatever. It’s like he’s saying we’re meant to be together.
:'''Erin''': Aye, maybe don’t tell that to anyone again, Michelle. Ever.
:'''Michelle''': Look, this is too important. I’m going to that concert. I’m not afraid of a fucking polar bear.
:'''Erin''': Me neither!
:'''James''': Nor me.
:'''Michelle''': Bastard!
:'''Orla''': I’ll kill it with my own two hands if I have to.
:'''Erin''': Bring it on!
:'''Michelle''': Yes!
:'''Clare''': Okay. We seem to have gone down a weird road here, people. I think we just got a bit confused. We don’t actually have to fight a polar bear. And if we did, I wouldn’t really fancy our chances because, well, they’re massive.
:'''Orla''': But there’s five of us so…
:'''Clare''': The point is the polar bear’s not the one stopping us going to the concert. It’s our mothers, and we’ll never get them to change their minds.
:'''Michelle''': We’re not gonna try and change their minds. We’re gonna do something else.
:'''James''': What?
:'''Michelle''': Lie our holes off.
----
:'''Rita''': Pop music isn’t really my thing, truth be told. It’s all so fucking soulless. Nah. I’m a classical head, all the way, but I’ve been banned from trading at Glyndebourne ever since I absolutely battered that Pavarotti fan. And when I say I battered, I mean intellectually, like. I did kick the shit out of him as well.

=== The Curse [2.04] ===
----
:'''Michelle''': You’re such a wreck-the-buzz, Clare.
:'''Clare''': Look, Michelle, drugs are illegal, drugs are addictive, but perhaps most importantly, in this country, you can lose your kneecaps if you’re caught doing them, and I like my kneecaps, Michelle. They suit my knees.
:'''Orla''': You do have cracking kneecaps, Clare.
:'''James''': Is that true?
:'''Erin''': Sort of.
----
:'''Sister Michael''': Father Thomas usually deals with the wakes, but he’s very sick at the moment. Bedridden, in fact.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': God! What caused it?
:'''Sister Michael''': Jack Daniels, mostly.
----
:'''Uncle Colm''': And now, I don’t mind a bit of a breeze – if anything, I prefer it – but thon was aggressive. So I says to myself, says I, “Colm, this is no day for a do.” 
:'''Sister Michael''': What’s happening?
:'''Uncle Colm''': For when the bride arrived – and as I say, by this stage the wind was fierce –
:'''Sister Michael''': Am I dead?
:'''Uncle Colm''': I’ve never heard wind like it. 
:'''Sister Michael''': Is this my wake?
:'''Uncle Colm''': Howling like a banshee, it was. 
:'''Sister Michael''': Am I in hell?
:'''Uncle Colm''': So the poor girl, the bride now, this is, she arrives anyway, and isn’t she no sooner out of the car than she’s lifted up in the air like a paper doll, and blown into a flowerbed.
:'''Sister Michael''': That’s actually quite funny.
----
:'''Clare''' What are we gonna do? What in under God are we gonna do?
:'''Michelle''': It’s fine.
:'''Clare''': It’s definitely not fine. There’s drug scones down there. If people eat the drug scones, then we’ve drugged those people, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': So? Drugging people isn’t a crime.
:'''James''': You’ve a very loose grasp of the law, Michelle.
:'''Erin''': What kind of person brings hash scones to a wake?
:'''Michelle''': Typical. I try and do a nice thing, and this is the thanks I get.
:'''Clare''': It’s terrible. There’s old people down there. What if an old person takes one?
:'''Michelle''': Why does everybody get so sentimental about old people? Old people are arseholes.
:'''Erin''': We have to get them back.
:'''Michelle''': Look, I’m not disagreeing with you. I bought that stuff so I could get high, not your great uncle Colm.
:'''Erin''': Christ, can you imagine?
:'''Orla''': Hold on a minute. Where did the scones go?
:'''Erin''': Okay, I’ll head for the kitchen and grab whatever’s still there. The rest of you look out for any ones that have gone rogue, and remember, be subtle.
----
:'''Michelle''': I can’t believe we’re doing this. It’s fucking heartbreaking.
:'''Erin''': Look, Granda’s had one, and now he’s acting really, really weird.
:'''Michelle''': You’re being paranoid, Erin.
:'''Erin''': He was nice to Daddy.
:'''Michelle''': Jesus!
:'''Erin''': Exactly! And if my ma starts asking questions…
:'''Michelle''': Your ma won’t trace it back to us.
:'''Erin''': Are you for real? She traces everything back to us. She traces things we haven’t even done, back to us.
:'''Clare''': Are you sure this will work?
:'''James''': This is how you get rid of drugs, Clare. I’ve seen GoodFellas, like, 20 times.
:'''Orla''': That’s not the only way. I watched this film once about this girl who was trying to hide drugs, and what she did was, she shoved them right up her--
:'''Michelle''': I’m not sticking a scone up my hole, Orla, I’ll tell you that for nothing.
:'''Clare''': Okay, I’m going to flush.
:'''Erin''': Go for it.
''(flushing multiple hash scones down the toilet; water gurgles in pipes)''
:'''Erin''': Is it working?
:'''James''': Of course it’s working.
''(Water seems to be rising)''
:'''Clare''': Is the water rising?
:'''Erin''': Jesus Christ! Why is the water rising, James?
:'''James''': I don’t know. The water didn’t rise in GoodFellas.
:'''Michelle''': Fuck! We’ve clogged it.
:'''Orla''': Who has a plunger?
:'''Erin''': I’m afraid I left the house without my plunger tonight, Orla.
:'''Orla''': Aye, me too. Nightmare, so it is.
:'''All''': Oh, whoa!

=== The Prom [2.05] ===
:'''Sister Michael''': Miss Cheung’s family have recently moved here to Derry so I hope you’ll all make her feel very welcome. It’s bound to be a bit of a culture shock, Mae. Things are done differently in this part of the world. But I’m sure you’ll soon feel as at home here as you did back in your beloved Donegal.
----
:'''Clare''': There she is. Okay, so I say we just over there and be ourselves, girls. Well, not totally ourselves. We should definitely be a bit ourselves. We could also pretend we’re sort of better than we actually are, so, I suppose what I’m saying is we could present a version of ourselves as less --
:'''Erin''': Crap.
:'''Clare''': Precisely.
:'''Michelle''': Why do we even have to talk to her?
:'''Clare''': Because she’s new, Michelle!
:'''Michelle''': Urgh! I hate people I don’t know.
:'''Clare''': And, in case you hadn’t noticed, she also happens to be Chinese. I mean, how class would it be to have a Chinese friend?!
:'''Orla''': We could keep her in my toy box.
:'''Erin''': No, we couldn’t, Orla.
:'''Orla''': Oh, she’d definitely fit.
:'''Erin''': That is not the point.
:'''Michelle''': Fine. But can we agree it’s on a strict one-in, one-out basis? If she joins the group, James has to leave.
:'''Clare''': Course!
:'''Erin''': Absolutely.
:'''James''': Excuse me?
:'''Clare''': ''(greets Mae in Chinese)''
:'''Mae Cheung''': Is she all right? 
:'''Michelle''': Burning for you, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I-It’s Cantonese.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Right. Well, I’m from Donegal and we speak English there.
:'''Michelle''': If you say so, Mae, but I spent the summer in Killybegs, and seriously? Not a fucking word.
:'''Clare''': We just wanted to introduce ourselves and --
:'''Mae Cheung''': Okay, I think I see where this is going. I get this a lot. Dull white girls wanting me to join their gang because, well…
:'''Erin''': We’re not dull.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Sure.
:'''James''': And I’m actually a boy.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Whoa. She has a really fucked-up accent.
:'''Michelle''': We know.
:'''Mae Cheung''': ''(sighs)'' What’s in this for me? What are you bringing to the table?
:'''Orla''': Cream crackers?
:'''Mae Cheung''': I’m good for cream crackers, thank you. I’ll see you around, girls. ''(She is about to leave)''
:'''Orla''': Maybe we don’t need a Chinese person. We’ve already got a lesbian.
:'''Mae Cheung''': What? Who?
:'''Clare''': Me.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Really? You don’t look like a lesbian.
:'''Clare''': What do you mean?
:'''Mae Cheung''': Just that you’re a bit…short.
:'''Clare''': Well, there’s no height restrictions… as far as I’m aware.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Interesting. I’ve always wanted a gay friend. I mean, ideally a fella.
''(Jenny and Aisling come to see them)''
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Howdy, folks!
:'''Michelle''': Christ.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': I’m Jenny. This is Aisling. We just thought we’d introduce ourselves and see if…
:'''Clare''': Too late, Jenny. She’s ours.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': I see. Look, these girls are great, but I do have a pen pal from the Caribbean, so, perhaps my circle is a little bit more diverse.
:'''Clare''': Back. Off.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Think it over. Give me a call. Oh, and FYI, the prom queen vote closes today.
:'''Michelle''': FY nobody gives a shit.
:'''Aisling''': Here’s the wee ballot.
:'''Erin''': I see you’ve thrown your hat into the ring, Jenny.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': I had my arm twisted, but feel free to tick my box.
''(They leave)''
:'''Michelle''': Dirty bitch.
----
:'''Michelle''': Well, this prom is going to be a full-blown dick-fest. You know, there isn’t even gonna be a DJ. Apparently, Jenny’s hired this fucking pensioner band.
:'''Erin''': Christ, really?
:'''Michelle''': I heard the drummer is at least 30.
:'''James''': I don’t feel so bad about missing it now. It clashes with my thing.
:'''Michelle''': The creep convention? Seriously?
:'''James''': It’s not a creep convention.
:'''Michelle''': Well, I think a load of perverts getting together to wank over some fella who fights with Hoovers and rides aliens in a telephone box, is the very fucking definition of a creep convention.
:'''James''': It's a Doctor Who night. Me and my stepdad used to watch it when I was little.
:'''Michelle''': Well, someone should have called social services then, James.
:'''Clare''': You’re not going to the prom then, James. Well, I was gonna ask you to be my date.
:'''James''': I’m sorry, Clare.
:'''Michelle''': You were gonna ask James to be your date? What the fuck’s wrong with you?
:'''Clare''': Well, it’s a bit more complicated for me.
:'''Michelle''': You’re a lesbian, Clare, not desperate.
----
:'''Erin''': Right. I say we hit Primark first.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Classy.
:'''Erin''': Yeah, well, we have about £17.50 between us, Mae, so, needs must.
:'''Michelle''': It’s grand. I swiped my ma’s credit card. ''(She shows them her ma’s credit card)''
:'''James''': Is that grand, or is that actually a criminal offense?
:'''Michelle''': Look, we’ll just whack a couple of dresses on it, don’t take the labels off, wear them to prom, then return them the next day. The money will be back in her account as quick as it went out.
:'''Clare''': No way, Jose.
:'''Michelle''': It’s totally grand, Clare. I do it all the time. You just have to make sure that you don’t, like, spill anything on it, or, like, sweat.

=== The President [2.06] ===
:'''Mary Quinn''': When JFK came to Dublin, Uncle Colm met him, and Daddy didn’t.
:'''Granda Joe''': Things are gonna be different this time, I tell you.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': JFK spoke to Colm? Christ, that man didn’t have much luck, did he? 
----
:'''Clare''': Any word from Chelsea? 
:'''Erin''': Not yet. And we sent that letter over a week ago.
:'''Clare''': Are you sure you got the address right? 
:'''Orla''': Chelsea Clinton, the White House, America.
:'''Clare''': It just doesn’t make any sense.
:'''Michelle''': Did you send it first class? 
:'''Erin''': We’re not made of money, Michelle.
----
:'''James''': Look, Bill doesn’t even get here till four o’clock tomorrow.
:'''Michelle''': “Bill?” Who are you? His Ma? 
:'''James''': We’ve got plenty of time, is all I’m saying.
:'''Clare''': Do you know how packed that Guildhall Square is gonna be, James? You’d have to camp overnight just to get a glimpse of him.
:'''Erin''': Chelsea will sort us out.
:'''Clare''': Ach, I’m not even sure I trust Chelsea anymore.
:'''Michelle''': Aye, Chelsea might be flaky.
:'''Orla''': She does have crafty eyes.
:'''Erin''': Okay, I’m not comfortable with the Chelsea-bashing, girls.
----
:'''Dennis''': That’ll be £1.99.
:'''Clare''': Right.
:'''Dennis''': Is there some sort of a problem here, girls?
:'''Clare''': Not a problem, as such. More of a-a-a question, really.
:'''Dennis''': You think I’m here to answer questions, do you? Who am I, Magnus fucking Magnusson?
:'''James''': He doesn’t answer questions, he asks them.
:'''Dennis''': Pipe the fuck down.
:'''Erin''': It’s just, it’s pink, white and purple, Dennis.
:'''Dennis''': So? 
:'''Erin''': Well, it should be red, white and blue.
:'''Dennis''': Says who? 
:'''Michelle''': The rest of the world.
:'''Clare''': There’s also quite a few stars missing.
:'''Dennis''': No, there’s not.
:'''Clare''': There’s only 30 stars here. I mean, there should be 50, just because the stars represent states, so… 
:'''Dennis''': Some of them left.
:'''Erin''': Some states left? 
:'''Dennis''': That’s right.
:'''Erin''': Some states left America? 
:'''Dennis''': Yep.
:'''Michelle''': When did this happen? 
:'''Dennis''': The other day.
:'''Orla''': God, that’s desperate.
:'''Erin''': I don’t know, I just feel like if 20 states left the USA, we might have heard about it.
:'''Dennis''': Ah, they didn’t want to make it into a big thing. So these are the new, modern, up-to-date flags. They’ve just brought them out.
:'''Erin''': Okay. It’s just, well, I’m not convinced that’s actually true.
:'''Dennis''': Well, why would I lie? 
:'''Michelle''': Because you bought a fuckload of dud flags, and you’re trying to get rid of them.
:'''Dennis''': GET OUT!
:'''Erin''': ''(exiting the shop)'' What first attracted him to a career in retail, do you think?
----
:'''Clare''': You can’t leave, James. 
:'''James''': This was always gonna happen. This was never my real life. It was just something that got in the way of it.
:'''Erin''': What are you talking about? You love it here.
:'''James''': I’m not sure I do. I think I just developed Stockholm syndrome.
:'''Michelle''': Catch yourself on. You’ve never even been to Switzerland!
----
:'''James''': Anyway, it’s not like I belong here. I never did.
:'''Michelle''': That’s not true. You’re a Derry girl now, James.
:'''James''': Piss off.
:'''Michelle''': I’m serious. It doesn’t matter that you’ve got that stupid accent, or that your bits are different to my bits, well, because being a Derry girl, well, it’s a fucking state of mind. And you’re one of us.

== Series 3 ==
=== The Night Before [3.01] ===
''(Uilleann pipes play)''
:'''Erin''': They told us we were young, yet we understood the enormity of it. We understood what was at stake. Our fear was replaced with something altogether more terrifying… hope. Hope is so much worse. With hope you something to lose…
''(Tape rewinds; voice distorts)''
:'''Michelle''': Oh, for fuck’s sake! What’s happened now?
:'''James''': Your TV is such a piece of crap.
:'''Erin''': No, it’s not. Your camera’s the problem.
:'''James''': My camera’s top of the range!
:'''Michelle''': It’s true. His ma only sends him really expensive shit, you know, to make up for the fact that she doesn’t love him.
:'''James''': Michelle!
:'''Michelle''': Oh, sorry, that came out wrong. I meant… Nope, can’t think of any other way to put that.
:'''Orla''': That actor there looks so familiar.
:'''Erin''': That’s you, Orla.
:'''James''': We’re gonna have to reshoot this footage.
:'''Michelle''': No chance!
:'''James''': Oh, come on, Michelle! These kids from Germany made a short film about the Berlin Wall, and it won as Oscar!
:'''Michelle''': Aye, but they probably had, you know, talent. Look, we need to face the fact that we’ve spent the summer making something that’s really quite shite.
:'''James''': It’s not shit, Michelle! Well, the script might need a bit of work.
:'''Erin''': Do not start on the script again! The script is a masterpiece!
:'''Michelle''': The script is boring, Erin. It doesn’t make any sense. What’s it even about?
:'''Erin''': Peace!
:'''Michelle''': Urgh, I am so fucking sick of peace! It’s all anyone ever bangs on about. Okay, I think we should just cut our losses, and make a couple of fake videos for “You’ve Been Framed.”
:'''Orla''': Oh, I can fall down three flights of stairs without even hurting myself!
:'''Michelle''': It’s £250 a pop, people!
:'''James''': No!
:'''Clare''': Can I ask something?!
:'''Erin''': Yeah.
:'''Clare''': How much longer are we gonna ignore the elephant in the room?
:'''Orla''': Where?
:'''Clare''': It’s tomorrow, girls. Tomorrow! Christ, I feel sick.
:'''James''': Why? You’re gonna walk it, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I know that! I’m not worried about me, I’m worried about you four. If you fail your GCSEs the school won’t take you back. I don’t wanna have to make new friends from scratch, I’ll have enough on my plate with the A-levels! I’m just praying you lot will scrape by!
:'''Erin''': Now, that is very considerate of you, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I know!
----
:'''Erin''': “Try to enjoy what time we have left.” It doesn’t even make any sense.
:'''Clare''': It means we’ve failed, Erin. It means no GCSEs, ergo no A-levels, ergo no university, ergo the end!
:'''Michelle''': “Ergo” wise up, Clare.
:'''Erin''': You’re overreacting.
:'''Clare''': I knew I should have cut ties with you lot a long time ago.
:'''Erin''': It’s not our fault!
:'''Clare''': Of course it’s your fault! You’ve dragged me down to your level, your stupidity has finally rubbed off of me. I was a scholar when I met you, Erin, a scholar!
:'''Erin''': You were three!
:'''Clare''': Our lives are over.
:'''Erin''': I wouldn’t say our lives are over.
:'''Clare''': Passing those exams was our only chance. We’re girls, we’re poor, we’re from Northern Ireland and we’re Catholic, for Christ’s sake!
:'''Erin''': Oh, my God, she’s right! What type of future will we have?
:'''Michelle''': We don’t need to worry about the future, Erin. If we fail, well, our mas are gonna fucking wipe us out, and dead people don’t need jobs.
:'''Clare''': Oh, thank you, Michelle. that’s very reassuring!
:'''Erin''': How bad do you think is it? Do you think it’s, like, grounded bad, or…?
:'''Michelle''': Run-away-from-home bad.
:'''Erin''': Exactly.
:'''Orla''': And if it is run-away-from-home-bad, I’m afraid I will need my snorkel back, James.
:'''James''': Okay, let’s not panic…
:'''Clare''': Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
:'''James''': Let’s just wait until tomorrow, and see what we’re dealing with.
:'''Michelle''': Or…we can see what we’re dealing with tonight.
:'''Clare''': ''(hyperventilating)'' How?!

=== The Affair [3.02] ===
:'''Erin''': You said this was dicky, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': That was before the BBC Northern Ireland thing. This could be life-changing. You know, Pamela Anderson was just an ordinary girl at a football match when a roving camera stuck her on the big screen and then, boom.
:'''James''': Yeah, but she looks like Pamela Anderson.
:'''Michelle''': Okay, James, it’s hard for you to see it because we’re related, but I’m a ride. I am a massive fucking ride.
''(Aisling and Jenny come to see them)''
:'''Jenny''': Hey, guys. Not thinking of entering, are you?
:'''Michelle''': We might be.
:'''Jenny''': That’s cute.
:'''Aisling''': So cute.
:'''Erin''': Oh, bring it on, bitches.
''(Rock music is playing in the background)''
----
:'''Michelle''': I think the best thing we could do is just to get the routine on its feet.
:'''Erin''': I agree.
:'''Michelle''': I know we’re gonna smash this, girls. We are gonna lift that trophy. We are gonna perform live on the motherfucking BBC and we’re gonna wipe that smile off Jenny Joyce’s stupid face.
:'''Erin''': Yeah.
:'''James''': Let’s do it.
:'''Michelle''': Hit it!
''(James switches the portable player on but music dies)'' ''(Later in this scene)''
:'''Michelle''': How many times do I have to fucking explain it? It is two steps forward, two steps back. It couldn’t be any fucking simpler. What the fuck is wrong with you all?!
:'''James''': You’re the one that’s out of time!
:'''Michelle''': Say that again, James, and I will floor you. I will lay you out.
:'''Erin''': T think the first bit is pretty good.
:'''Michelle''': The first bit’s shite, Erin. You look like you’re being electrocuted, and what the fuck do you think you’re doing, Clare, the Haka? ''(groans)''
''(Clare storms out of the bedroom)''
:'''Michelle''': Fuck!
----
:'''Gabriel''': ''(Off-screen)'' Come on, Mary.
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(Off-screen)'' I can’t, Gabriel.
:'''Gabriel''': ''(Off-screen)'' No one needs to find out.
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(Off-screen)'' No, look, look, it’s not like I’m not flattered.
''(Clare is sneaking up slowly and stops and stares at them)''
:'''Gabriel''': You call me when you change your mind.
:'''Mary Quinn''': When? You’re sure of yourself.
:'''Gabriel''': I know how to get what I want. ''(closing the door behind Mary Quinn)''
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Mary, I’ve got a bit of a vegetable situation going on here.
:'''Mary Quinn''': I’m coming!
----
''(Clare heads back to the bedroom to see them)''
:'''Erin''': It’s not my fault your choreography is pedestrian, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': Kiss my actual hole, Erin.
:'''James''': Look, I think we all just need to calm down.
:'''Erin and Michelle''': Piss off, James!
''(Clare knocks at the door; music stops)''
:'''Orla''': Okay, that, is it? I’m going solo.
''(Clare knocks again)''
:'''Michelle''': Oh, Christ, here we go.
:'''Erin''': Screwdriver.
:'''James''': Um, bell. Apron.
:'''Michelle''': Fanny. Big fanny? Fanny pain.
:'''Clare''': The plumber was trying to get off with Erin’s ma! The plumber was trying to get off with Erin’s ma, and now I need to give all of my sponsorship money back.
:'''James''': We’re gonna need more details, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I saw them together in the hall. He was whispering things to her, you know, suggestive things.
:'''Erin''': My ma? He was coming onto my ma? What is he, some sort of reverse pedophile?
:'''Michelle''': I bet Mary told him where to go.
:'''Clare''': Not exactly.
----
''(Horn honks)''
:'''Erin''': Couldn’t you speed up a wee bit?
:'''James''': No, I couldn’t!
:'''Clare''': Are we even moving?
:'''James''': I simply will not negotiate when it comes to road safety.
----
:'''Peter''': Please welcome to the stage, Erin, Orla, Clare, Michelle and James.
''(Applause)''
:'''Peter''': The act you’re going to perform for us tonight, well, they’re absolutely huge.
:'''Michelle''': That’s right, Peter.
:'''Peter''': Matthew.
:'''Michelle''': Matthew! Shit! I got it right in rehearsals, I just…
:'''Peter''': It doesn’t matter.
:'''Michelle''': No, I fucked it.
:'''Peter''': Okay. Give us some clues, girls.
:'''Orla''': Well, Peter… They are English, but we still like them.
:'''Clare''': They’re also probably better known by their nicknames.
:'''Peter''': Which are? And I think this just might give it away now.
:'''Erin''': Ginger! Baby! Sporty! Scary and Posh!
:'''All''': Tonight, Matthew, we’re gonna be The Spice Girls!
:'''Peter''': Girl power!
''(Applause)''

=== Stranger on a Train [3.03] ===
''(Clare and Sister Michael are waiting for the time)''
:'''Clare''': ''(clears her throat)''
:'''Sister Michael''': Here we go.
:'''Clare''': Ah! Sister Michael. Hi.
:'''Sister Michael''': Clare.
:'''Clare''': I wasn’t sure you saw me.
:'''Sister Michael''': No, no, I did.
:'''Clare''': Right. ''(thinking for a moment)'' Heading to Portrush?
:'''Sister Michael''': Yep.
:'''Clare''': Anything nice planned?
:'''Sister Michael''': No.
:'''Clare''': Okay.
:'''Ticket Seller''': ''(talking to Conor on her phone)'' I just don’t see the point. Can we just move on? All right, Conor. The truth is, you never satisfied me sexually.
:'''Clare''': Oh, please no.

=== The Haunting [3.04] ===
:'''Clare''': We had plans tonight.
:'''Michelle''': We can turn our jeans into hot pants any day of the week. We’re talking about a free house here, Clare, a free house. We’re gonna be drinking, dancing and riding.
:'''Erin''': Quick question on the old riding front there.
:'''Michelle''': Go on?
:'''Erin''': Who exactly will we be doing that with?
:'''Michelle''': Young hot farmers. Donegal is coming down with them. Big strapping lads ripped to fuck from all the turf collecting.
:'''Clare''': Oh, don’t worry about me.
:'''Michelle''': There’s actually quite a few lesbians as well, Clare.
:'''Clare''': Lesbian farmers? Really?
:'''Michelle''': Lesbian farming is actually huge in the Republic. We’ll get you sorted, don’t worry.
:'''James''': What about me? Could we pick me up a girl?
:'''Michelle''': Can we pick you up a girl?
:'''Erin''': Like she’s a thing?
:'''Orla''': ''(in the van)'' Yeah, that is so out of order, James.
:'''James''': I didn’t mean… I-I just thought…
:'''Michelle''': Well, you thought wrong, James.
:'''James''': Sorry.
:'''Michelle''': Get in the van. ''(exasperate sigh)'' Dirtbag.
----
:'''Michelle''': Arh! Where the hell are we?
:'''James''': I’ll ask this woman. ''(to Sheila)'' Excuse me? Sorry to bother you.
:'''Sheila''': ''(speaking in Irish)''
:'''James''': Jesus, is she having a stroke?
:'''Erin''': She is an Irish speaker, James.
:'''James''': Oh, why can’t everyone just speak English?
:'''Michelle''': Well, your crowd had a good stab at forcing the entire world to, but we didn’t really enjoy it much, James. Imperialist prick!
:'''James''': Can anyone ask her where this place is?
:'''Clare''': Hmm, my Irish isn’t the best. I decided to keep on French and German, because I though it would give me more options if I wanted to, like, study abroad or whatever.
:'''Michelle''': We’re not filling in your fucking UCAS from here, Clare.
:'''Sheila''': ''(speaking in Irish)''
:'''Michelle''': What’s she saying?
:'''Sheila''': ''(speaking panicky in Irish)'' ''(speaking warningly in Irish)''
:'''Michelle''': Just drive, James. Slan!
:'''Erin''': Slan!

=== The Reunion [3.05] ===
:'''Erin as Mary''': I suppose he’s right to be nervous. About the boys’ school being here, I mean.
:'''Orla as Sarah''': Why, Mary?
:'''Erin as Mary''': Tonight’s gonna be wild, Sarah!
''(“Ladies Night” by Kool &amp; The Gang is playing)''

=== Halloween [3.06] ===
''(“Gangster Trippin” by Fatboy Slim is playing)''
''(So Erin, Orla, Clare, Michelle and James are getting ready and being dressed up as Angels)''
''(Music distorts and stops)''
:'''Mary Quinn''': What are you supposed to be? Swans?
:'''Erin''': We’re not swans?
:'''Orla''': Are we not?
:'''Clare''': We’re angels.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Angels don’t use crutches.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': And swans do?
:'''Granda Joe''': You’re a swan expert now, are you?
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Yeah, that’s precisely what I said.
:'''Mary Quinn''': God love you, son. Imagine beating you up just cause you like Slimboy Fat.
:'''James''': Yeah, I still can’t quite believe it myself, actually.
''(Car horn beeps)''
:'''Clare''': That’ll be Daddy!
''(They all look out to see Daddy in the car)''
:'''Orla''': Ah, I love his wee toy car.

=== The Agreement [3.07] ===
:'''Little Boy''': 10p mix please.
:'''Michelle''': That’ll be twelve pence.
:'''Little Boy''': Twelve pence for a 10p mix?
''(Dennis appears from below the counter)''
:'''Dennis''': It’s called inflation dickhead.
:'''Michelle''': Now, GET OUT!
----
:'''Michelle''': What was the face all about?
:'''Erin''': What face?
:'''Michelle''': Earlier, when Dennis was talking about Niall you did a face.
:'''Erin''': I didn’t do a face.
:'''Michelle''': You did a face Erin. You did a face like this.
:'''Erin''': I…would never do that face. I couldn’t do that face. That face isn’t even in my repertoire.
:'''Michelle''': Oh, it’s in your repertoire alright, I’ve seen you whip it out over a dozen times, usually when you find something hard to believe. What was hard to believe Erin?
:'''Erin''': It was just when you said that you didn’t want to get your hopes up.
:'''Michelle''': Yeah! 
:'''Erin''': You don’t actually think he should get out do you? 
:'''Michelle''': He’s me brother.
:'''Erin''': He killed someone.
:'''Michelle''': I know that Erin.
:'''James''': I’m not sure we should be talking about this.
:'''Erin''': Isn’t this exactly what we should be talking about? I mean we have to vote on it.
:'''Michelle''': It wasn’t supposed to happen the way it did. 
:'''Erin''': I’m sure that poor man’s family takes great comfort in that.
:'''Michelle''': These things, they’re not black and white Erin.
:'''Erin''': Aren’t they?
:'''Michelle''': Nothing about this place is! 
:'''Erin''': Well I think the fact that you shouldn’t kill people is pretty black and white!
:'''Clare''': Awkward, awkward, awkward, oh God it’s so awkward.
:'''Michelle''': Fuck off Erin. And what would you know anyway, you’re nothing but a spoiled, selfish, sheltered wee brat.
''(Michelle storms out)''
----
:'''Michelle''': You know I’ve never even visited Niall. Me Mam wouldn’t let me, she wouldn’t let any of us. She won’t even say his name any more. He had a son, the man, he had a teenaged son. We found that out later.
:'''Erin''': I'm sorry Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': You weren’t wrong. I mean you weren’t right either. There’s no answer to any of this is there? 
:'''Erin''': No, I don’t think there is you know. 
:'''James''': Do you want to get out of here?
:'''Orla''': Can we take that wee tiny horse? No.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:UK sitcoms]]
[[Category:Channel 4 (UK) shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Teen sitcoms]]
[[Category:Single-camera sitcoms]]
[[Category:TV shows set in Northern Ireland]]</text>
      <sha1>rb8t253912nkylz0fm5s2a0ouu1hchx</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944141</id>
      <parentid>3944138</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T08:31:54Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-22475-30</username>
        <id>3310494</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Holiday [1.05] */</comment>
      <origin>3944141</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="74660" sha1="qjo3i1zhgq6i3w8b5sevdbekq3tjd3c" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Derry Girls|Derry Girls]]''''' is a British teen sitcom created and written by [[w:Lisa McGee|Lisa McGee]]. Produced by [[w:Hat Trick Productions|Hat Trick Productions]], it is set in [[w:Derry|Derry]], [[w:Northern Ireland|Northern Ireland]] in the 1990s. The first series was broadcast in January and February 2018 on [[w:Channel 4|Channel 4]]. The second series was shown in March and April 2019.

== Series 1 ==
=== Children of the Crossfire [1.01] ===
:'''Erin''': I won’t put up with it anymore. Teenagers have rights now, you know.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Don’t be ridiculous.
:'''Erin''': They do, Ma. It’s true. Sure, Macaulay Culkin might be divorcing his parents.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Do you hear this? This’ll be someone she met at that stupid summer scheme you insisted we send her on. Her bloody “Friends Across the Barricades” thing. I have nothing against Protestants, I’m all for integration, I am, but if they’re letting their weans divorce them…
:'''Erin''': Macaulay Culkin isn’t a Protestant, Ma.
:'''Mary Quinn''': It’s only gonna give our weans ideas.
:'''Erin''': Well, he might be. I didn’t meet him at Friends Across the Barricades.
:'''Mary Quinn''': I don’t care where you met him. You’re not to see him again. Understood?
----
:'''Granda Joe''': Them weans shouldn’t have to take the bus to school. You should be driving them, you useless shite.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I have to work, Joe.
:'''Granda Joe''': Work? ''(chuckles)'' Is that what you call it?
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Yes.
:'''Granda Joe''': Why don’t you just leave my Mary alone?
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Because we’ve been married for 17 years, Joe. We have two children. And because we’re in love with each other.
:'''Erin''': Oh, boke.
:'''Granda Joe''': I’ll find some dirt on you yet, boy. I’ve got people working on it.
----
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Well, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m not enjoying this bomb.
:'''Joe Quinn''': Shocking.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Desperate.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Disgusting and disgraceful. I have an appointment in Tropicana at 12:00. Fifteen minutes in the stand up. But sure I’ll not get over the bridge at this rate. It’s going to play havoc with my build-up. This is what they want. They want ordinary people to suffer. This is what it’s all about.
:'''Erin''': I’m pretty sure interfering with your sunbed sessions isn’t very high up on anyone’s political agenda, Aunt Sarah.
----
''(The girls are not wearing their denim jackets over their blazers as agreed)''
:'''Clare''': What’s all this? I thought we were going to be individuals this year.
:'''Erin''': Look, I wanted to, Clare, but my Ma wouldn’t let me.
:'''Clare''': Well, I’m not being individual on my own!
''(Takes off jacket)''
----
:'''Erin''': Who owns the fella?
:'''Michelle''': Me. Well, come on, then, ball-ache. Are you introducing yourself, or what?
:'''James''': Hi. I’m Michelle’s cousin, James.
:'''Orla''': Why’s he making that funny noise?
:'''Michelle''': He’s English, Orla. That’s the way they talk. He’s my Auntie Kathy’s wean. I told you about my Auntie Kathy. She went to England years ago to have an abortion. Never came back. Never got the abortion, either. Lucky for you, James, eh? Ha!
:'''James''': I didn’t actually know that.
----
''(British soldiers board the school bus)''
:'''James''': What’s going on?
:'''Michelle''': I don’t know. But do you think if I told him I had an incendiary device down my knickers, he’d have a look?
:'''Erin''': Michelle, he’s a soldier.
:'''Michelle''': Ach, some of them are rides. I’m willing to admit it, even if nobody else will, because I’m a beacon of truth, Erin.
:'''Erin''': You’re a mouth, that’s what you are.
----
:'''Erin''': Please, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': No. I have no interest in David Donnelly’s spazzmo band. ''(eating Quavers)''
:'''Clare''': They look nice.
:'''Erin''': I can’t go on my own.
:'''Clare''': Are they nice?
:'''Michelle''': Bring Bobby Sands.
:'''Clare''': Sure, how could I go? I’m so weak I can barely walk.
:'''Michelle''': What about Orla?
:'''Erin''': Orla’s…
:'''Orla''': I love my wee fingers.
:'''Erin''': Orla’s mental. Come on, Michelle. I’m begging you. It’s my big chance with David. I’d do it for you.
:'''Michelle''': Fine! But we both know you’re gonna just sit in the corner like a frigid fuck.
:'''Erin''': I’m not frigid.
:'''Orla''': You’ve never even kissed a boy before. You practice on your pillow sometimes, but you don’t think that’s the same.
:'''Erin''': The reading of the diary was bad enough. I could do without the quoting it from memory.
:'''James''': Michelle, would you mind showing me where the toilet is?
:'''Michelle''': You are really starting to do my head in, do you know that?
''(PA chimes)''
:'''Woman''': Will the following pupils please report to Sister Michael’s office immediately? Erin Quinn, Orla McCool, Clare Devlin, Michelle Mallon, and the wee English fella. Thank you.
:'''Michelle''': I wonder what that could be about.
----
:'''Mary Quinn''': Erin, what in God’s name? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Did you kill that wee nun, girls? 
:'''Erin''': Of course we didn’t!
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Then why were you pissing on her dead body and making sandwiches? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Say nothing, girls. Say nothing till we’ve seen a lawyer.
----
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': Sorry I’m late, Sister. Couldn’t get over the bridge. This bloody bomb. I begged the Brits to let me take my chances, but the awkward bastards made me go the long way.
----
:'''Mr. Devlin''': Sorry to keep you waiting, Sister. How long does it take to defuse a fecking bomb? Sure the wee robots do all the work. Oh, killing nuns now, is it? 
:'''Clare''': I didn’t, Daddy!
:'''Mr. Devlin''': You wait until your mother hears about this.
----
:'''Sister Michael''': Obviously, Sister Declan’s death was extremely shocking and unexpected. We’re still struggling to understand exactly what happened.
:'''Erin''': Yeah? Can I just ask, what age was Sister Declan? 
:'''Sister Michael''': She’d have been 98 on Friday.
:'''Erin''': Right. Might that shed some light on the situation? 
:'''Sister Michael''': How so? 
:'''Erin''': Does anybody else have any thoughts on the whole “her being almost 98 years of age” thing?
:'''Granda Joe''': Struck down in her prime.

=== Part-Time Job [1.02] ===
:'''Sister Michael''': On Monday morning, several of our Year 13s will face their GCSE maths resit. Now, I know how daunting resit examinations can be, so if anyone is feeling anxious or worried, or even if you just want to chat, please, please, do not come crying to me.
----
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Okay, that is one portion of redfish, one portion of whitefish, two bags of chips – 
:'''Granda Joe''': No, no, no! Two bags won’t be enough.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Two’s plenty, Joe.
:'''Granda Joe''': Four! Four should cover it.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Three, then. We’ll compromise.
:'''Granda Joe''': I’ll compromise you through that window.
:'''Mary Quinn''': That’s enough, Da.
:'''Granda Joe''': The tight bastard’s trying to starve us all, Mary!
----
:'''Erin''': Any luck with the trust fund?
:'''Clare''': No. According to my mam, we’re actually quite poor.
:'''Erin''': Aye, I think we might be as well.
----
:'''Uncle Colm''': There was a knock at the door, this must have been, ach, we’re talking eight, half eight, for I was halfway through me dinner. And up I got to open it, and there they both were, large as life. And the taller fella, though, to be fair, there was no more than an inch in it.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Jesus wept.
:'''Uncle Colm''': The slightly taller fella, he says to me, says he, “Do you know who we are?” 
:'''Granda Joe''': How’s a body supposed to enjoy his dinner? 
:'''Uncle Colm''': And I says to him, says I, “Well, I can’t be sure now, but maybe if you took off the balaclavas.” And then he says to me, the slightly taller fella does, he says, “Step aside. We are armed.”
:'''Orla''': Class.
:'''Uncle Colm''': And that’s when the smaller fella, although, as I say, we are talking an inch…
:'''Erin''': Mammy, make it stop.
:'''Uncle Colm''': …an inch and a half at most.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': I need a drink.
:'''Uncle Colm''': He has the bright idea of tying me to the radiator, you see. And I remember saying to myself, says I, “Colm, it’s a good job you have the Economy 7 on the old timer, or you’d be roasted here.”
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Did you go for the Economy 7 in the end, Colm? I thought you said the hot water settings were a minefield? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': For the love of God, Sarah, no diversions, please.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Aye, come on, let’s pick it up. They tied you to the heater.
:'''Uncle Colm''': They did indeed. And there I am, shackled to the thermostatic valve with me new shoelaces, when one of them, the smaller fella, or, hang on, maybe it was the--
:'''Gerry Quinn''': It doesn’t matter, Colm.
:'''Uncle Colm''': Well, it was one of the two. He’s looking for the keys to the van, all ranting and raving and getting himself all worked up, threatening to set fire to my good chaise lounge and all sorts. By Jesus, they were absolutely desperate to borrow thon van.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Colm, they didn’t borrow your van. They stole your van, used it to move arms across the border, and then they blew it up.
:'''Uncle Colm''': Aye. Nightmare altogether.
----
:'''Clare''': You will never guess what she’s done this time, Erin.
:'''Erin''': Did she nick the noticeboard from the chip shop, Clare?
----
:'''Erin''': So, firstly we have the tutoring. And out of everyone, I thought you might be best suited to that, Clare, because--
:'''Clare''': I’m the brightest.
:'''Erin''': Well, in that conventional sort of way, I suppose. There’s also some babysitting. The child will be in bed, so you should just about be able to manage that, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': Oh, thanks. And you should just about be able to manage this.
:'''Erin''': Always the lady. There’s also some gardening, mowing a lawn, et cetera. This will require a bit of muscle, so… you should take that one, Orla.
:'''James''': No, I should do that one. It’s a man’s job, Erin. I’m a man.
:'''Michelle''': That’s debatable.
:'''James''': Well, I’m more of a man than Orla.
:'''Orla''': I do not accept that.
:'''James''': Come on, Erin.
:'''Erin''': Fine. So that leaves dog-walking and washing a car.
:'''Orla''': Is it a Renault Clio?
:'''Erin''': No.
:'''Orla''': I’ll take the dogs.
:'''Erin''': Okay.
''(“Little Green Bag” by George Baker Selection is playing)''
:'''Erin''': Let’s go to work.
----
:'''Clare''': It’s slave labor, Erin!
:'''Orla''': It’s worse than slave labor. We’re not even getting paid!
----
''(They all walk upstairs to see what is going on; Michelle is doing the yoga)'' ''(“No Limit” by 2 Unlimited is playing)''
:'''Michelle''': All right?
''(But Erin stops the music)''
:'''Michelle''': Boo!
:'''Clare''': Where’d you get all this?
:'''Michelle''': Fionnula’s cupboard. I think she might have a bit of a problem.
:'''Erin''': You think Fionnula might have a bit of a problem? Put it away and get back downstairs, now.
:'''Michelle''': Sit yourselves down. Have a wee drink.
:'''Clare''': No, Michelle. It’s wrong.
:'''Michelle''': So are those ski pants, Clare, but that didn’t stop you pulling them over your hole this morning. Wait for it. ''(She starts lighting the scented candles of the alcohol)''
:'''Clare''': Michelle!
:'''Michelle''': Don’t be a shower of bore bags. ''(She carries the scented candles)'' Sláinte, motherfuckers.
:'''Erin''': No, no, no, no!
:'''Michelle''': Fuck, fuck, fuck! ''(She accidentally drops the scented candles on the floor which makes the fire spreads on the floor to the curtains)''
----
''(After tying Orla, Clare and Michelle to the radiators, Aunt Sarah and Mary Quinn tie James and Erin at the radiators)''
:'''Erin''': Why would two gunmen break into a chippy?
:'''James''': Ah! That really hurt.
:'''Michelle''': You’re such a pussy.
:'''Erin''': What were they looking for?
:'''Orla''': Chips, obviously.
:'''Mary Quinn''': They were looking for the keys to the van. Keep up, Erin.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Do you think we should knock them about a bit?
:'''Mary Quinn''': No.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Nothing drastic. Just a few slaps.
:'''Mary Quinn''': I said no, Sarah.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': What, not even the wee gay fella?
:'''James''': I’m not gay.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Okay, that should do it. Ready?
:'''Clare''': I hate to be a health and safety stickler, but surely you’re not actually planning on leaving us like this, are you?
''(They hear the door slamming)''
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(whispering)'' Back door. Back door. Back door. Hurry up.
''(Mary Quinn and Aunt Sarah leave)'' ''(“La Mer” by Charles Trenet is playing)'' ''(Fionnula returns back realizing what happened to these curtains)''
:'''Clare''': ''(gasps)''
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(whispering)'' Push it, push it.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': I’m pushing! I’m pushing it!
:'''Mary Quinn''': Hurry up!
:'''Aunt Sarah''': It’s locked!
''(They all come back to see Fionnula)''
:'''Fionnula''': What the fuck’s going on here, exactly?!
:'''Mary Quinn''': Okay… Um, all right. Well, what happened was… ''(pointing to Michelle)'' Michelle was carrying this scented candle…
''(“Never Gonna Get It” by En Vogue is playing)''
:'''Granda Joe''': It’s just not as nice.

=== The Miracle [1.03] ===
:'''Clare''': Sweet suffering Jesus. It’s the morning already?! What are we gonna do?
:'''Michelle''': Well maybe we could start with calming the fuck down.
:'''Clare''': Calm down? We’re still on William of Orange, Michelle! We haven’t so much looked at the famine! 
:'''Michelle''': We’ve got the gist. They ran out of spuds. Everyone was raging.
:'''James''': Well, I can’t tell my rebellions from my risings.
:'''Michelle''': And whose fault’s that? If your lot had stopped invading us for five fucking minutes, there’d be a lot less to wade through! You English prick.
----
:'''Erin''': It’s abuse. That’s what it is. It’s abusive. Does anybody have 10p? I’m ringing Childline.
:'''Michelle''': You can’t ring Childline every time your ma threatens to kill you, Erin.
:'''Clare''': Yeah, you can’t waste Esther’s time like that.
:'''Michelle''': And anyway, you’re not alone We’re all gonna fail. We’re all gonna get our holes kicked, and we’re all in the same boat.
:'''Clare''': I don’t wanna be in that boat! I wanna be in a different boat, sailing down a totally different river!
:'''James''': Guys, all we can do is try our best.
:'''Michelle''': Ach, don’t be such a fruit, James!
:'''Erin''': Oh, my God! Look!
''(They all stare at the dog stroked by the army)''
:'''Erin''': Doesn’t that dog look like Toto?
:'''James''': Oh, I suppose it does a bit, yeah.
:'''Erin''': Looks exactly like him. Here, boy! ''(running over to him)'' Come here, boy! Here, boy! Come here, boy! Here, boy! Come here! Here, boy! Here, boy!
----
:'''Sister Michael''': ''(on the phone)'' Could you put me through to Sister Thomas, please? Tommy! How are you? Yeah, not too bad. A retreat? ''(tuts)'' I dunno. I have judo on Friday. Don’t like to miss it. Now, I’ll tell you why I’m ringing you. So we’ve had an alleged apparition here this morning. Well, it’s in the weeping statue category. Sure, I know. Yeah, apparently there was a smirk as well. ''(chuckles)'' I mean, I’m not sure what Our Lady of the Sorrows has to be smirking about, but that’s by the by.
----
:'''Father Peter''': Directly before the weeping, can you remember what you were doing, what you were talking about?
:'''Michelle''': I remember that James was being a dick.
:'''Sister Michael''': Miss Mallon.
:'''Michelle''': I don’t like to use that word, Sister, but it’s so hard to describe James any other way, ‘cause he’s just such a dick.
:'''Father Peter''': I don’t think you’re a dick, James.
:'''James''': Really? 
:'''Father Peter''': Really. And you know who else doesn’t think you’re a dick? Our Lord.
:'''Sister Michael''': For feck’s sake.
:'''Michelle''': How do you know Our Lord doesn’t think he’s a dick? 
:'''Father Peter''': Our Lord doesn’t think anyone’s a dick.
:'''Michelle''': I very much doubt that.
----
:'''Mary Quinn''': I also have a question, pretty boy. Why are you encouraging all this? 
:'''Father Peter''': I wouldn’t say I’m encouraging it, I’m just open to the possibility.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Well, I’m not. Not unless I see some cold, hard evidence.
:'''Father Peter''': And maybe it’s there. Proof at last, Peter, proof at last.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Is he all right? 
:'''Sister Michael''': I wouldn’t say so, no. He’s a priest, like.

=== The Ukrainian [1.04] ===
:'''Granda Joe''': You don’t know a Jack McGinley, do you? Moved to Moscow, ‘88, ‘89, it would have been.
:'''Erin''': Seriously?
:'''Katya''': No.
:'''Granda Joe''': Stocky fella.
:'''Katya''': No.
:'''Granda Joe''': Curly hair, bit of a lisp.
:'''Katya''': I do not know this person.
:'''Granda Joe''': Ah, maybe just as well, love. He’s an awful prick.
----
:'''Erin''': So, Katya, I’ve done a bit of an itinerary for your stay. You should have received a copy in my last letter.
:'''Katya''': I don’t read your letters, Erin.
:'''Erin''': I’m sorry? I don’t follow.
:'''Katya''': Your letters, they bore.
:'''Erin''': They’re boring.
:'''Katya''': Exactly.
:'''Erin''': That’s not what I--
:'''Katya''': I can smoke here, yes?
:'''Erin''': No. No, you can’t. Mammy’s like a bloodhound.
''(Michelle, Clare and James peep in)''
:'''Michelle''': Your ma said we could come up and have a look at the Russian.
:'''Erin''': Ukrainian. 
:'''Michelle''': Is this her? 
:'''Orla''': Isn’t she cracker? She’s half mine.
:'''Erin''': No, she’s not, Orla.
:'''Orla''': Aye, she is. Mammy said so.
:'''Michelle''': You’re so lucky, Erin. I begged my ma to let me have one, but she said we’ve no room now that my dickhead, ball-bag, English prick of a cousin’s moved in. Talking about you, James, in case you’re wondering.
:'''James''': Yeah, that much was clear. Thank you, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': Have you seen the one Jenny Joyce got, the fella? Massive, massive ride. I’ve been thinking. Maybe time for me to lose the rest of my virginity. And he’s definitely a contender. You help me. You put in good word with your Cossack friend. So we can… ''(makes squishing sounds)''
:'''Erin''': Would you stop that?
:'''Clare''': I’m very sorry for all your trouble, you know, the whole hoo-ha at the power plant.
:'''Katya''': Okay.
:'''Clare''': When you think about it, we’ve actually got a lot in common ‘cause we understand what it’s like to be a young person from a troubled place.
:'''Katya''': Hm, it is not the same. Chernobyl was terrible nuclear accident. You people like to fight each other, and, to be honest, no person really understands why.
:'''Erin''': Well, there’s actually a political element to it, Katya, and there’s a religious element.
:'''Katya''': But you’re not two different religions here. You’re different flavours of same religion, no?
:'''Erin''': Well, yes, but… It’s a little bit more complicated than that, Katya.
:'''Katya''': To me, is stupid.
:'''Clare''': Oh, my God. It is stupid. It is so, so stupid.
:'''Katya''': Who is this?
:'''Erin''': Oh, that’s just James.
:'''Katya''': You are handsome.
:'''James''': ''(gasps)''
:'''Katya''': And also sexy.
:'''Michelle''': Is her English not great?
''(Katya stands up and kisses James)''
:'''Clare''': What’s happening?
:'''Erin''': Why would she do that? Why?
:'''Michelle''': Fuck knows. He’s minging.
:'''Orla''': She seems to be really enjoying it.
:'''Erin''': Is he enjoying it?
:'''Michelle''': It’s hard to tell.
:'''Clare''': Well, if he’s not enjoying it, isn’t that sort of sexual harassment?
:'''Erin''': Yeah, we should put a stop to it.
:'''Clare''': Aye.
:'''Orla''': Does anyone want a Fruit Pastille?
----
:'''Mary Quinn''': Have you any news, Da? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Not really, no.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Right. Shay Harkham was telling me you were in Duggan’s Bakery yesterday lunchtime.
:'''Granda Joe''': Well, that’s hardly news.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Two buns, he said you ordered.
:'''Granda Joe''': Well, I often do.
:'''Mary Quinn''': An apple turnover… and a cream horn.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': A cream horn? 
:'''Erin''': That’s not like you, Granda.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Sure, you couldn’t pay you to eat a cream horn.
:'''Granda Joe''': Cream finger, it was. Apple turnover and a cream finger.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Cream horn, Shay said. He swore on it, said he saw it being bagged up. 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': And Big Shay has eyes like a hawk, so he does. 
:'''Mary Quinn''': Shay said when you left Duggan’s, you turned up Pump Street.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Pump Street? Who do you know on Pump Street, Da?
:'''Mary Quinn''': What were you doing heading up Pump Street with a cream horn, Da? 
:'''Granda Joe''': I was visiting a friend of mine.
:'''Mary Quinn''': What friend? 
:'''Granda Joe''': A new friend.
:'''Mary Quinn''': A male friend, was it? Aye, I thought as much. Buying cream horns for his fancy woman, Sarah, what do you think of that?
----
:'''Granda Joe''': Maeve and me, we’re - We just get on well, that’s all.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Maeve? That’s her name, is it? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Yes, that’s right.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Maeve? That’s what she’s called, is she? 
:'''Granda Joe''': She is, aye.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Maeve? Maeve? Really? Maeve? I cannot believe this.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I think it’s a good thing, love.
:'''Granda Joe''': Just keep out of it, you! 
:'''Mary Quinn''': And that’s who you were winking at in Mass? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Winking? At your age? Christ, I feel sick.
:'''Granda Joe''': It was only a friendly wink.
:'''Mary Quinn''': There is no such thing as a friendly wink! 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Is there not? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': Our poor mother is barely cold and you’re straight back out there, winking away.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Your mother’s been dead ten years, Mary.
:'''Granda Joe''': Look, I’ll not tell you again!
----
:'''Mary Quinn''': Can you believe him? Flaunting it in our faces like this.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': I don’t even know the man anymore.
:'''Granda Joe''': Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.
:'''Both''': Amen.
:'''Maeve''': Unbelievable.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Jammie Dodger?
:'''Maeve''': Blessed art thou, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
----
:'''Michelle''': Shh! You’ll scare Clive.
:'''Erin''': Who’s Clive? 
:'''Michelle''': Clive. Clive is a wee Prod from East Belfast. Clive came back from Ibiza, got on the wrong bus at Aldergrove Airport, then fell asleep. Clive woke up in Derry, surrounded by Russians and Fenians. Clive is absolutely shitting himself.
:'''Erin''': So where's the real Artem? 
:'''Michelle''': Giant’s Causeway, probably. Foreigners fucking love the Giant’s Causeway.

=== Holiday [1.05] ===
:'''Mary Quinn''': Already? They’ve started already? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I think it’s just a rehearsal, love.
:'''Mary Quinn''': They’ve been playing the same three songs since 1795. What do they need to rehearse for?
:'''Orla''': Well, practice makes perfect, Aunt Mary. You know, that is why they are so cracker.
:'''Erin''': I’m sorry? Did you just call the Orange Order “cracker?”
:'''Orla''': I’m considering joining.
:'''Erin''': I don’t think they accept Catholics, Orla, or, you know, acknowledge our right to exist.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Give us a hand here, Gerry. This’ll not close. We need to shift ourselves. We’re the last Fenians standing.
:'''Granda Joe''': Relax, love. We’ve a good two or three hours before the rioting starts.
:'''Mary Quinn''': I’ll not settle myself until we’re over that border, Da.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': You’re absolutely sure we need the big clock, love? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': We’ve been through this, Gerry.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Definitely don’t want to bring the wee clock? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': I can’t be doing with the wee clock.
:'''Granda Joe''': What exactly is your problem with the big clock? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I wouldn’t say I have a problem, as such. It’s just much heavier and takes up a lot of room.
:'''Granda Joe''': I’m telling you, Mary. That’s how it starts. Now he’s dictating what size of clock you can pack. Next, he’ll be telling you what to wear, what to say. Before you know it, you’ll be faking your own death and assuming a new identity.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Erin, I told you not to let him watch that Sleeping With The Enemy.
:'''Erin''': Couldn’t stop him, Mammy.
:'''Granda Joe''': Great show.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Stick that in the boot.
:'''Gerry''': ''(grunts)''
:'''Granda Joe''': You’ll be as well getting one of the wains to do it. Out of the way. ''(He carries a heavy bag with the big clock in it)''
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Right.
:'''Clare''': Listen to it. I mean, just listen to it. They can’t… I mean, they don’t… Why do they have to be so loud?
:'''Mary Quinn''': Breathe, love.
:'''Erin''': It’s far worse for me, Clare. I mean, my hearing’s impeccable.
:'''Clare''': I’ve read the same paragraphs 47 times because I can’t concentrate because… Oh, my God, the noise! This whale, he’s a bad brute, Mrs. Quinn. I have to know if they catch him. Can I come away with you, please?
:'''Mary Quinn''': Okay. Well, if you mother has no objections, I don’t see why not.
:'''Clare''': ''(sighs)'' Thank you. Thank you. I’ll never forget this. Thank you!
:'''Erin''': She’s taking you to a caravan in Portnoo. She’s not giving you a kidney, Clare.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Listen, Mary. I just did a reading. The cards say if we go on this wee holiday, we’re placing ourselves in grave danger, which I’m not buzzing about, to be honest.
:'''Erin''': You’re not psychic, Aunt Sarah.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': I am psychic, Erin. I did a course. I got a certificate. Aye, this does not look good.
:'''Granda Joe''': Still no sign of the lottery numbers, then? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': No, Daddy. This psychic carry-on, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, you know. Last night, I woke up to this wailing sound. I thought to myself, “Jesus, it’s Granny Pat. She’s trying to cross over.” Now, it turned out it was only Aggie next door. She’d put the electric blanket on full whack and scalded the legs of herself. But still, it could just as easily have been-- 
:'''Erin''': The disembodied spirit of a dead relative? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Exactly. My nerves are wrecked. I’m living on a knife’s edge here. Is there any Rice Krispies?
:'''Orla''': Shh! Shh! This is the best bit. ''(She accidentally drops the cup on the floor.)''
:'''Mary Quinn''': Okay, everyone. Remain calm. I need you all to listen very carefully.
----
:'''Mary Quinn''': Okay, I’m going in. ''(Deirdre Mallon knocks at the door)'' For the love of God, don’t come in here!
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': Everything all right, Mary?
:'''Mary Quinn''': Stay back, Deirdre. This is the death trap.
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': Listen, Mary, I hate to do this to you, but me and Martin are both working nights, and I’m nervous about leaving these two on their own, what with the day that’s in it. I don’t suppose there’s any chance you could take them with you? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': Ach, away, Deirdre, it’s just--
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': The English thing? Listen, Mary, I understand. I mean, he’s my nephew, and even I find it hard to get past. If I’m totally honest, there’s times when I look at him and I feel… Well… it’s pure hatred. I’ll not dress it up.
:'''Mary Quinn''': No, no, it’s not the English thing.
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': I hope to God it’s not the gay thing you’re offended by.
:'''James''': There is no gay thing.
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': Because I’d be disappointed in you, Mary. I’ll not lie.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Of course not. I mean, if anything, the gay thing sort of cancels out the English thing.
:'''James''': Again, no gay thing.
:'''Michelle''': You wouldn’t move over there, James? I can’t see past your massive closet.
:'''Mary Quinn''': I’m just not sure we’ll have room in the caravan.
:'''Granda Joe''': It’ll be grand. Us men can camp outside.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Oh, God.
:'''James''': Oh, God.
:'''Granda Joe''': Run and ask Jim across the road for the lend of his tent.
:'''Deirdre Mallon''': Well, thanks a million, Mary. I owe you one. You know, if you want our Ryan to sort that gable wall of yours out, you’ve only to ask.
:'''Mary Quinn''': What’s wrong with our gable wall?
----
:'''Jim''': Now, once your tent is erect, you’ll want to think about where to safely store your food, because believe me, girls, you do not want to attract predatory animals into your sleeping area. Bears are particularly vicious.
:'''Erin''': Yeah, I’m not sure how many bears there are in Portnoo, though, Jim.
:'''Orla''': But there was a cheetah on the beach one time.
:'''Erin''': That was a greyhound, Orla.
:'''Orla''': I know what I saw.
----
:'''Erin''': You can’t marry an Orangeman, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': That’s a pity, ‘cause I think there’s something really sexy about the fact that they hate us so much.
----
''(“Holiday” by Madonna is playing)'' ''(They all set off in the countryside)''
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I hope your father appreciates the fact that I was the one who got us out of that mess.
:'''Mary Quinn''': He won’t. Nobody back there actually believed you were a Japanese tourist, Gerry. They all thought you were a nutcase. They took pity on you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Dear God, no.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': What’s wrong?
:'''Mary Quinn''': I can’t find my purse.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I can see your purse right there.
:'''Mary Quinn''': No, no, that’s my sterling purse. I’m talking about my punt purse. I can’t find my punt purse, Gerry. Blessed Saint Anthony, the grace of God has made you the patron saint of all things lost and stolen. I turn to you this day with childlike love and deep confidence--
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Look, Mary, calm down--
:'''Mary Quinn''': Calm down, Gerry? We have no punts! We can’t go to the Free State without punts. We’re puntless. We haven’t a punt between us. Oh, God, I think… I think I’m having a panic attack. Oh, stupid punts.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Over this? So what happened back there was totally fine, but ''this'' is worth having a panic attack about?
:'''Mary Quinn''': You have to turn around.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': There is more chance of me eloping with your father to a flip-flop shop in Hawaii--
:'''Mary Quinn''': Look, okay, fine! But that means we won’t be able to buy anything, which means we’ll have no food, which means we’ll all starve to death. So, you know, on your head be it, Gerry. Oh, actually, do you know what? I think I put it in the suitcase.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': False alarm there, Saint Anthony. Sorry for troubling you.

=== The Wee Lesbian [1.06] ===
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Orla has got really into step aerobics. Her instructor says she’s a natural. Says she’s got what it takes to go all the way.
:'''Mary Quinn''': All the way in step aerobics? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': But it’s out of control now, Mary. She’s stepping morning, noon and night. Apart from anything else, it’s dangerous. She nearly came through the ceiling yesterday. Okay, she might be gifted, but I just want her to have a normal childhood.
----
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Er, look, I’m sorry. Do you absolutely need it? 
:'''Ciaran''': I’m afraid I do, sir, yes. Proof of ID.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': But you have my surname written on it there.
:'''Ciaran''': How do I know that’s your surname? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Because I just told you it was my surname.
:'''Ciaran''': You could be lying.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Why would I lie? 
:'''Ciaran''': To get your hands on someone else’s photos.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Why would I want somebody else’s photos? Like, who would pay for somebody else’s photos? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Stalker, maybe.
:'''Ciaran''': Yeah, exactly. Very good, sir. A stalker.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I’m not a stalker.
:'''Ciaran''': Look, why don’t you just go home and have a wee look for your wee docket? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': No. This is ridiculous. Just open that up and take out one of the photos. You see? That’s me wife there.
:'''Ciaran''': How do I know you’re not just telling me that? 
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Cos that’s me standing beside her.
:'''Ciaran''': I suppose you do look a bit like this man.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': I am this man.
:'''Ciaran''': It could be you.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': It’s definitely me. My name is Gerry Quinn. This is my father-in-law, Joe. He can vouch for me.
:'''Granda Joe''': I’ve never seen this man before in my life.
----
:'''Sister Michael''': I’ve just received a phone call from Louise Kerr’s mother, and it’s not looking great.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Oh, God, I just can’t believe it.
:'''Sister Michael''': It’s unlikely she’ll be returning to school before the end of the year, so I think the only thing we can do now is --
:'''Aisling''': Pray for her? 
:'''Sister Michael''': No. What use would that do? No, I think the best thing we can do is decide who will fulfil the role of editor now.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Sister Michael, some of us have actually already discussed this eventuality, and the thing is, well, nobody is comfortable stepping into Louise’s shoes.
:'''Aisling''': It feels a bit, sort of, disrespectful.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': We think this issue should be cancelled.
:'''Sister Michael''': Well, fair enough, if nobody is willing to take her place.
:'''Erin''': I’ll do it.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Excuse me? 
:'''Erin''': I’ll take her place. I’ll step into her shoes. I’ll do it.
:'''Sister Michael''': Really? 
:'''Erin''': Absolutely.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': No, you can’t. We are making a statement. You’re ruining our statement!
:'''Erin''': Look, girls, I know Louise meant a lot to you all.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': She’s not dead, Erin!
:'''Erin''': Well, not yet. Hopefully she won’t, you know, die, but if she does, the show must go on! Isn’t that right, Sister Michael? 
:'''Sister Michael''': You terrify me.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': You can’t be the editor! 
:'''Aisling''': You’ve never even written an article, Erin.
:'''Erin''': That’s because I can’t get anything past Rupert Murdoch over there!
:'''Jenny Joyce''': This isn’t fair. You can’t let it happen, Sister!
:'''Sister Michael''': I know. But I’m bored now, so it looks like I probably will. Good luck, all.
----
:'''Erin''': This was written by a girl. A real life lesbian walks among us.
:'''Orla''': I don’t really believe in lesbians.
----
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Do you not think there’s an awful lot of lesbians about nowadays? You can’t move for lesbians. It’s wall to wall lesbians out there.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Really? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Oh, it’s true. Bridget Gallagher, she’s a lesbian.
:'''Mary Quinn''': Bridget Gallagher, who works in the post office? 
:'''Granda Joe''': I believe so.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Is she not a vegetarian, Da? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Sorry, you’re right. Vegetarian, Bridget is.
----
''(“Let’s Talk About Sex” by Salt-N-Pepa is playing)''
:'''Michelle''': Read all about the wee dyke.
:'''Erin''': We will not be censored!
:'''Orla''': Lesbians really do exist!
:'''James''': I support gays, even though I, myself, am not actually gay!
:'''Erin''': Come on, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I don’t wanna get involved. I’m sorry.
:'''Erin''': Coward!
----
:'''Sister Michael''': ''(after a choral performance)'' Lovely, altogether. You know, every year I sit backstage listening to the singers and it really makes me realize just how talented the professionals who originally recorded these tracks were.

== Series 2 ==
=== Across the Barricade [2.01] ===
:'''Erin''': That summer was a remarkable one. It was the summer we dared to dream. For generations, we’d known nothing but violence. Nothing but hatred. But finally we were saying, “Enough is enough.” Finally, we were saying, “Let’s give peace a chance.”
''(Orla opens the bathroom door)''
:'''Orla''': She’s up here!
:'''Erin''': Jesus Christ!
:'''Orla''': She’s pretending she’s on Parkinson again.
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(Off-screen)'' Parkinson? Does she know what time it is? I’ll Parkinson her. I’ve enough on my plate without Parkinson.
:'''Erin''': Close the door! ''(But Orla comes in and closes the door)'' No, Orla. Leave, then close the door.
''(Orla leaves and then closes the door)''
:'''Erin''': And it was Wogan, for your information!
----
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Will any of your crowd be going, love? 
:'''Clare''': My crowd? 
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Or can you not get Protestant lesbians?
:'''Clare''': No, I think you can get them all right, it’s just…
:'''Granda Joe''': I heard that k.d. lang on the radio yesterday. Christ, but she’s some set of pipes on her. You’re a very talented people.
:'''Clare''': Thank you?
----
:'''Michelle''': We’re doing it for peace, all right, Mary. A piece of that fine Protestant ass!
''(Erin and Michelle give a hi-five)''
:'''Clare''': God, you are such a hypocrite, Erin.
:'''Erin''': No, I’m not. I just don’t think there’s anything wrong with some cross-community… Fiddling…relations.
:'''Orla''': So, we need to head south-east for 0.5 Miles and you’ll receive further instructions shortly.
:'''Michelle''': We haven’t even left the estate yet, Orla. These Prods have some serious moves up their sleeves, you know. They’re not as fucked up about sex as we are. They’ve put the work in, they know what they’re doing.
:'''Clare''': They’re people, Michelle! They’re not sex toys!
:'''Michelle''': I beg to differ.
:'''James''': I’m really looking forward to making friends with some lads.
:'''Michelle''': Lads aren’t going to make friends with you, James. Lads make friends with other lads.
:'''James''': I am a lad.
:'''Erin''': Aye, so you are, James.
:'''Clare''': Okay, how much money do we have?
:'''Michelle''': Look, the riding of the Protestants is one thing, but I really don’t see why we have to buy them a present. I mean they already have all the land, all the jobs and all the fucking rights.
:'''Erin''': Aye, Michelle, that’s definitely the attitude we should have entering into this weekend.
----
:'''Dennis''': A present for Protestants. Ah, now my next Protestant gift delivery isn’t due to arrive until Wednesday. And as it stands, I’m completely out of stock, what with there being such a high fucking demand for that sort of thing around these parts.
:'''Orla''': That’s a shame.
:'''Clare''': How much for the Subbuteo, Dennis? 
:'''Dennis''': We’ll call it 16 quid.
:'''James''': Could we call it £1.76? 
:'''Dennis''': No, we fucking couldn’t.
:'''Erin''': How about we give you the £1.76 and we pay the rest off in installments? 
:'''Clare''': Yeah. Which would be what? £3.56 over four weeks? 
:'''Dennis''': Jesus, check out Rain Wean.
:'''Erin''': Or, you could give us the Subbuteo, and then we could work off the debt.
:'''Clare''': Yeah, we could do chores and stuff.
:'''Dennis''': Chores? What do you think this is? Little House on the fucking Prairie? 
:'''Orla''': Do you watch Little House on the Prairie, Dennis? 
:'''Dennis''': GET OUT! 
----
:'''Michelle''': ''(accepting a teddy bear from a Protestant boy)'' I’m going to keep mine on my bed, where I sleep. In me knickers.
----
:'''Father Peter''': As some of you may know, I took a bit of a sabbatical last year.
:'''Michelle''': Do you mean when you shacked up with a slutty hairdresser but then she dumped you? 
:'''Sister Michael''': Miss Mallon, please! Raise your hand if you want to ask a question.
:'''Father Peter''': Okay, I think we should just move on.
:'''Sister Michael''': The hairdresser certainly did.
----
:'''Protestant Boy''': She’s coming! 
:'''Michelle''': Who? 
:'''Protestant Boy''': The woman. The small angry penguin woman.
:'''Michelle''': Sister Michael! Shit! 
''(Sister Michael arrives)''
:'''Erin''': Oh, good evening, Sister. We just popped round because we had a few questions about the British Empire, which the boys have cleared up for us now, so… 
:'''Jenny Joyce''': They weren’t talking about the British Empire, Sister. They were having a party. I could hear the music.
:'''Sister Michael''': You will go far in life, Jenny. But you will not be well liked.

=== Ms De Brún and the Child of Prague [2.02] ===
:'''Sister Michael''': Sadly, Sister Patrick has decided to leave us. She’s returning to her missionary work, educating the heathen inhabitants of a primitive and savage place.
:'''Teacher''': She’s taken a teaching post in Belfast, Sister.
:'''Sister Michael''': Precisely.
----
:'''Uncle Colm''': And that’s not to say, now, that in my younger years, I didn’t enjoy a boiled sweet. But then I heard tell of a fella from Ballynahinch-- what was it his name was, now? I had it there a minute ago. Ach, it’ll come to me. Anyway, this Ballynahinch lad, and as I say, his name escapes me, but he was mad keen on the boiled sweets. Sure he couldn’t get enough of them. But in the end, well, didn’t he choke to death on one? A pear drop, I think it was. Or a clove rock, maybe. But either way, it’s not how I’d want to go.
----
:'''Erin''': Ms. De Brún is amazing. I’ve just never met anyone like her.
:'''James''': She’s an inspiration.
:'''Clare''': Absolutely.
:'''Michelle''': She really knows how to grab things by the balls.
:'''Clare''': Oh, yeah!
:'''Erin''': She’s changed my life, she really has.
:'''James''': She likes my accent.
:'''Orla''': I’d die for her.
:'''Erin''': I think I would too, you know.
:'''James''': Me too.
:'''Michelle''': Aye, fuck it, why not?
:'''Clare''': Yeah. I mean, obviously I totally agree. I’d die for her as well, but I’m also conscious of the fact we’ve only know her, like, two days.
:'''Erin''': And?
:'''Clare''': Well, is it a bit weird she’s invited us to her house at night?
:'''Erin''': What do you mean?
:'''Clare''': Well, she’s a teacher.
:'''Erin''': She’s much more than a teacher.
:'''Clare''': Yeah. No, obviously I get that. She’s great, but it’s just that I have a feeling it might be sort of frowned upon.
:'''Erin''': God, Clare, you’re so conditioned.
:'''Clare''': What’s that supposed to mean?
:'''Michelle''': It means you need to loosen the fuck up.
:'''Clare''': I am loose, thank you very much.
:'''Michelle''': Face it, Clare, you’re a craic killer.
:'''Clare''': I’m not a craic killer. I AM NOT A CRAIC KILLER!
----
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Well, well, well. What are you guys up to? 
:'''Erin''': Nothing much. 
:'''Clare''': We were just hanging out at Ms. De Brún’s house.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': You were at her house? At night? Well, that’s a bit inappropriate.
:'''Clare''': Your ma is a bit inappropriate.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': That doesn’t even make sense.
:'''Clare''': Your ma doesn’t even make sense.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Is she drunk? 
:'''Clare''': Your ma’s drunk.

=== The Concert [2.03] ===
:'''Aunt Sarah''': John’s really dying for peace, like, isn’t he? It’s all he ever goes on about. I hope it works out for him.
----
:'''Granda Joe''': Belfast! Sure, why don’t you just sell the wains into white slavery and be done with it? 
:'''Mary Quinn''': Gerry’ll be with them, Da.
:'''Granda Joe''': That’s worse! Sure, they hate his kind there.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': My kind? 
:'''Granda Joe''': Pricks.
----
:'''Erin''': Wise up, Mammy! As if a polar bear’s going to rock up at a Take That concert! 
:'''Orla''': He wouldn’t get a ticket, for a start. They sold out months ago.
----
''(They all go up stairs to the room)''
:'''Michelle''': Well, I’m not letting that fat furry fuck ruin the biggest day of my life.
:'''Erin''': What can we do?
''(Four of them listen to Michelle)''
:'''Michelle''': Right. Listen, girls. I’ve never told anyone this before, but sometimes, when Robbie’s being interviewed, it’s like he’s sending me messages through the TV, you know, like, telepathically or whatever. It’s like he’s saying we’re meant to be together.
:'''Erin''': Aye, maybe don’t tell that to anyone again, Michelle. Ever.
:'''Michelle''': Look, this is too important. I’m going to that concert. I’m not afraid of a fucking polar bear.
:'''Erin''': Me neither!
:'''James''': Nor me.
:'''Michelle''': Bastard!
:'''Orla''': I’ll kill it with my own two hands if I have to.
:'''Erin''': Bring it on!
:'''Michelle''': Yes!
:'''Clare''': Okay. We seem to have gone down a weird road here, people. I think we just got a bit confused. We don’t actually have to fight a polar bear. And if we did, I wouldn’t really fancy our chances because, well, they’re massive.
:'''Orla''': But there’s five of us so…
:'''Clare''': The point is the polar bear’s not the one stopping us going to the concert. It’s our mothers, and we’ll never get them to change their minds.
:'''Michelle''': We’re not gonna try and change their minds. We’re gonna do something else.
:'''James''': What?
:'''Michelle''': Lie our holes off.
----
:'''Rita''': Pop music isn’t really my thing, truth be told. It’s all so fucking soulless. Nah. I’m a classical head, all the way, but I’ve been banned from trading at Glyndebourne ever since I absolutely battered that Pavarotti fan. And when I say I battered, I mean intellectually, like. I did kick the shit out of him as well.

=== The Curse [2.04] ===
----
:'''Michelle''': You’re such a wreck-the-buzz, Clare.
:'''Clare''': Look, Michelle, drugs are illegal, drugs are addictive, but perhaps most importantly, in this country, you can lose your kneecaps if you’re caught doing them, and I like my kneecaps, Michelle. They suit my knees.
:'''Orla''': You do have cracking kneecaps, Clare.
:'''James''': Is that true?
:'''Erin''': Sort of.
----
:'''Sister Michael''': Father Thomas usually deals with the wakes, but he’s very sick at the moment. Bedridden, in fact.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': God! What caused it?
:'''Sister Michael''': Jack Daniels, mostly.
----
:'''Uncle Colm''': And now, I don’t mind a bit of a breeze – if anything, I prefer it – but thon was aggressive. So I says to myself, says I, “Colm, this is no day for a do.” 
:'''Sister Michael''': What’s happening?
:'''Uncle Colm''': For when the bride arrived – and as I say, by this stage the wind was fierce –
:'''Sister Michael''': Am I dead?
:'''Uncle Colm''': I’ve never heard wind like it. 
:'''Sister Michael''': Is this my wake?
:'''Uncle Colm''': Howling like a banshee, it was. 
:'''Sister Michael''': Am I in hell?
:'''Uncle Colm''': So the poor girl, the bride now, this is, she arrives anyway, and isn’t she no sooner out of the car than she’s lifted up in the air like a paper doll, and blown into a flowerbed.
:'''Sister Michael''': That’s actually quite funny.
----
:'''Clare''' What are we gonna do? What in under God are we gonna do?
:'''Michelle''': It’s fine.
:'''Clare''': It’s definitely not fine. There’s drug scones down there. If people eat the drug scones, then we’ve drugged those people, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': So? Drugging people isn’t a crime.
:'''James''': You’ve a very loose grasp of the law, Michelle.
:'''Erin''': What kind of person brings hash scones to a wake?
:'''Michelle''': Typical. I try and do a nice thing, and this is the thanks I get.
:'''Clare''': It’s terrible. There’s old people down there. What if an old person takes one?
:'''Michelle''': Why does everybody get so sentimental about old people? Old people are arseholes.
:'''Erin''': We have to get them back.
:'''Michelle''': Look, I’m not disagreeing with you. I bought that stuff so I could get high, not your great uncle Colm.
:'''Erin''': Christ, can you imagine?
:'''Orla''': Hold on a minute. Where did the scones go?
:'''Erin''': Okay, I’ll head for the kitchen and grab whatever’s still there. The rest of you look out for any ones that have gone rogue, and remember, be subtle.
----
:'''Michelle''': I can’t believe we’re doing this. It’s fucking heartbreaking.
:'''Erin''': Look, Granda’s had one, and now he’s acting really, really weird.
:'''Michelle''': You’re being paranoid, Erin.
:'''Erin''': He was nice to Daddy.
:'''Michelle''': Jesus!
:'''Erin''': Exactly! And if my ma starts asking questions…
:'''Michelle''': Your ma won’t trace it back to us.
:'''Erin''': Are you for real? She traces everything back to us. She traces things we haven’t even done, back to us.
:'''Clare''': Are you sure this will work?
:'''James''': This is how you get rid of drugs, Clare. I’ve seen GoodFellas, like, 20 times.
:'''Orla''': That’s not the only way. I watched this film once about this girl who was trying to hide drugs, and what she did was, she shoved them right up her--
:'''Michelle''': I’m not sticking a scone up my hole, Orla, I’ll tell you that for nothing.
:'''Clare''': Okay, I’m going to flush.
:'''Erin''': Go for it.
''(flushing multiple hash scones down the toilet; water gurgles in pipes)''
:'''Erin''': Is it working?
:'''James''': Of course it’s working.
''(Water seems to be rising)''
:'''Clare''': Is the water rising?
:'''Erin''': Jesus Christ! Why is the water rising, James?
:'''James''': I don’t know. The water didn’t rise in GoodFellas.
:'''Michelle''': Fuck! We’ve clogged it.
:'''Orla''': Who has a plunger?
:'''Erin''': I’m afraid I left the house without my plunger tonight, Orla.
:'''Orla''': Aye, me too. Nightmare, so it is.
:'''All''': Oh, whoa!

=== The Prom [2.05] ===
:'''Sister Michael''': Miss Cheung’s family have recently moved here to Derry so I hope you’ll all make her feel very welcome. It’s bound to be a bit of a culture shock, Mae. Things are done differently in this part of the world. But I’m sure you’ll soon feel as at home here as you did back in your beloved Donegal.
----
:'''Clare''': There she is. Okay, so I say we just over there and be ourselves, girls. Well, not totally ourselves. We should definitely be a bit ourselves. We could also pretend we’re sort of better than we actually are, so, I suppose what I’m saying is we could present a version of ourselves as less --
:'''Erin''': Crap.
:'''Clare''': Precisely.
:'''Michelle''': Why do we even have to talk to her?
:'''Clare''': Because she’s new, Michelle!
:'''Michelle''': Urgh! I hate people I don’t know.
:'''Clare''': And, in case you hadn’t noticed, she also happens to be Chinese. I mean, how class would it be to have a Chinese friend?!
:'''Orla''': We could keep her in my toy box.
:'''Erin''': No, we couldn’t, Orla.
:'''Orla''': Oh, she’d definitely fit.
:'''Erin''': That is not the point.
:'''Michelle''': Fine. But can we agree it’s on a strict one-in, one-out basis? If she joins the group, James has to leave.
:'''Clare''': Course!
:'''Erin''': Absolutely.
:'''James''': Excuse me?
:'''Clare''': ''(greets Mae in Chinese)''
:'''Mae Cheung''': Is she all right? 
:'''Michelle''': Burning for you, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I-It’s Cantonese.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Right. Well, I’m from Donegal and we speak English there.
:'''Michelle''': If you say so, Mae, but I spent the summer in Killybegs, and seriously? Not a fucking word.
:'''Clare''': We just wanted to introduce ourselves and --
:'''Mae Cheung''': Okay, I think I see where this is going. I get this a lot. Dull white girls wanting me to join their gang because, well…
:'''Erin''': We’re not dull.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Sure.
:'''James''': And I’m actually a boy.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Whoa. She has a really fucked-up accent.
:'''Michelle''': We know.
:'''Mae Cheung''': ''(sighs)'' What’s in this for me? What are you bringing to the table?
:'''Orla''': Cream crackers?
:'''Mae Cheung''': I’m good for cream crackers, thank you. I’ll see you around, girls. ''(She is about to leave)''
:'''Orla''': Maybe we don’t need a Chinese person. We’ve already got a lesbian.
:'''Mae Cheung''': What? Who?
:'''Clare''': Me.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Really? You don’t look like a lesbian.
:'''Clare''': What do you mean?
:'''Mae Cheung''': Just that you’re a bit…short.
:'''Clare''': Well, there’s no height restrictions… as far as I’m aware.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Interesting. I’ve always wanted a gay friend. I mean, ideally a fella.
''(Jenny and Aisling come to see them)''
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Howdy, folks!
:'''Michelle''': Christ.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': I’m Jenny. This is Aisling. We just thought we’d introduce ourselves and see if…
:'''Clare''': Too late, Jenny. She’s ours.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': I see. Look, these girls are great, but I do have a pen pal from the Caribbean, so, perhaps my circle is a little bit more diverse.
:'''Clare''': Back. Off.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': Think it over. Give me a call. Oh, and FYI, the prom queen vote closes today.
:'''Michelle''': FY nobody gives a shit.
:'''Aisling''': Here’s the wee ballot.
:'''Erin''': I see you’ve thrown your hat into the ring, Jenny.
:'''Jenny Joyce''': I had my arm twisted, but feel free to tick my box.
''(They leave)''
:'''Michelle''': Dirty bitch.
----
:'''Michelle''': Well, this prom is going to be a full-blown dick-fest. You know, there isn’t even gonna be a DJ. Apparently, Jenny’s hired this fucking pensioner band.
:'''Erin''': Christ, really?
:'''Michelle''': I heard the drummer is at least 30.
:'''James''': I don’t feel so bad about missing it now. It clashes with my thing.
:'''Michelle''': The creep convention? Seriously?
:'''James''': It’s not a creep convention.
:'''Michelle''': Well, I think a load of perverts getting together to wank over some fella who fights with Hoovers and rides aliens in a telephone box, is the very fucking definition of a creep convention.
:'''James''': It's a Doctor Who night. Me and my stepdad used to watch it when I was little.
:'''Michelle''': Well, someone should have called social services then, James.
:'''Clare''': You’re not going to the prom then, James. Well, I was gonna ask you to be my date.
:'''James''': I’m sorry, Clare.
:'''Michelle''': You were gonna ask James to be your date? What the fuck’s wrong with you?
:'''Clare''': Well, it’s a bit more complicated for me.
:'''Michelle''': You’re a lesbian, Clare, not desperate.
----
:'''Erin''': Right. I say we hit Primark first.
:'''Mae Cheung''': Classy.
:'''Erin''': Yeah, well, we have about £17.50 between us, Mae, so, needs must.
:'''Michelle''': It’s grand. I swiped my ma’s credit card. ''(She shows them her ma’s credit card)''
:'''James''': Is that grand, or is that actually a criminal offense?
:'''Michelle''': Look, we’ll just whack a couple of dresses on it, don’t take the labels off, wear them to prom, then return them the next day. The money will be back in her account as quick as it went out.
:'''Clare''': No way, Jose.
:'''Michelle''': It’s totally grand, Clare. I do it all the time. You just have to make sure that you don’t, like, spill anything on it, or, like, sweat.

=== The President [2.06] ===
:'''Mary Quinn''': When JFK came to Dublin, Uncle Colm met him, and Daddy didn’t.
:'''Granda Joe''': Things are gonna be different this time, I tell you.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': JFK spoke to Colm? Christ, that man didn’t have much luck, did he? 
----
:'''Clare''': Any word from Chelsea? 
:'''Erin''': Not yet. And we sent that letter over a week ago.
:'''Clare''': Are you sure you got the address right? 
:'''Orla''': Chelsea Clinton, the White House, America.
:'''Clare''': It just doesn’t make any sense.
:'''Michelle''': Did you send it first class? 
:'''Erin''': We’re not made of money, Michelle.
----
:'''James''': Look, Bill doesn’t even get here till four o’clock tomorrow.
:'''Michelle''': “Bill?” Who are you? His Ma? 
:'''James''': We’ve got plenty of time, is all I’m saying.
:'''Clare''': Do you know how packed that Guildhall Square is gonna be, James? You’d have to camp overnight just to get a glimpse of him.
:'''Erin''': Chelsea will sort us out.
:'''Clare''': Ach, I’m not even sure I trust Chelsea anymore.
:'''Michelle''': Aye, Chelsea might be flaky.
:'''Orla''': She does have crafty eyes.
:'''Erin''': Okay, I’m not comfortable with the Chelsea-bashing, girls.
----
:'''Dennis''': That’ll be £1.99.
:'''Clare''': Right.
:'''Dennis''': Is there some sort of a problem here, girls?
:'''Clare''': Not a problem, as such. More of a-a-a question, really.
:'''Dennis''': You think I’m here to answer questions, do you? Who am I, Magnus fucking Magnusson?
:'''James''': He doesn’t answer questions, he asks them.
:'''Dennis''': Pipe the fuck down.
:'''Erin''': It’s just, it’s pink, white and purple, Dennis.
:'''Dennis''': So? 
:'''Erin''': Well, it should be red, white and blue.
:'''Dennis''': Says who? 
:'''Michelle''': The rest of the world.
:'''Clare''': There’s also quite a few stars missing.
:'''Dennis''': No, there’s not.
:'''Clare''': There’s only 30 stars here. I mean, there should be 50, just because the stars represent states, so… 
:'''Dennis''': Some of them left.
:'''Erin''': Some states left? 
:'''Dennis''': That’s right.
:'''Erin''': Some states left America? 
:'''Dennis''': Yep.
:'''Michelle''': When did this happen? 
:'''Dennis''': The other day.
:'''Orla''': God, that’s desperate.
:'''Erin''': I don’t know, I just feel like if 20 states left the USA, we might have heard about it.
:'''Dennis''': Ah, they didn’t want to make it into a big thing. So these are the new, modern, up-to-date flags. They’ve just brought them out.
:'''Erin''': Okay. It’s just, well, I’m not convinced that’s actually true.
:'''Dennis''': Well, why would I lie? 
:'''Michelle''': Because you bought a fuckload of dud flags, and you’re trying to get rid of them.
:'''Dennis''': GET OUT!
:'''Erin''': ''(exiting the shop)'' What first attracted him to a career in retail, do you think?
----
:'''Clare''': You can’t leave, James. 
:'''James''': This was always gonna happen. This was never my real life. It was just something that got in the way of it.
:'''Erin''': What are you talking about? You love it here.
:'''James''': I’m not sure I do. I think I just developed Stockholm syndrome.
:'''Michelle''': Catch yourself on. You’ve never even been to Switzerland!
----
:'''James''': Anyway, it’s not like I belong here. I never did.
:'''Michelle''': That’s not true. You’re a Derry girl now, James.
:'''James''': Piss off.
:'''Michelle''': I’m serious. It doesn’t matter that you’ve got that stupid accent, or that your bits are different to my bits, well, because being a Derry girl, well, it’s a fucking state of mind. And you’re one of us.

== Series 3 ==
=== The Night Before [3.01] ===
''(Uilleann pipes play)''
:'''Erin''': They told us we were young, yet we understood the enormity of it. We understood what was at stake. Our fear was replaced with something altogether more terrifying… hope. Hope is so much worse. With hope you something to lose…
''(Tape rewinds; voice distorts)''
:'''Michelle''': Oh, for fuck’s sake! What’s happened now?
:'''James''': Your TV is such a piece of crap.
:'''Erin''': No, it’s not. Your camera’s the problem.
:'''James''': My camera’s top of the range!
:'''Michelle''': It’s true. His ma only sends him really expensive shit, you know, to make up for the fact that she doesn’t love him.
:'''James''': Michelle!
:'''Michelle''': Oh, sorry, that came out wrong. I meant… Nope, can’t think of any other way to put that.
:'''Orla''': That actor there looks so familiar.
:'''Erin''': That’s you, Orla.
:'''James''': We’re gonna have to reshoot this footage.
:'''Michelle''': No chance!
:'''James''': Oh, come on, Michelle! These kids from Germany made a short film about the Berlin Wall, and it won as Oscar!
:'''Michelle''': Aye, but they probably had, you know, talent. Look, we need to face the fact that we’ve spent the summer making something that’s really quite shite.
:'''James''': It’s not shit, Michelle! Well, the script might need a bit of work.
:'''Erin''': Do not start on the script again! The script is a masterpiece!
:'''Michelle''': The script is boring, Erin. It doesn’t make any sense. What’s it even about?
:'''Erin''': Peace!
:'''Michelle''': Urgh, I am so fucking sick of peace! It’s all anyone ever bangs on about. Okay, I think we should just cut our losses, and make a couple of fake videos for “You’ve Been Framed.”
:'''Orla''': Oh, I can fall down three flights of stairs without even hurting myself!
:'''Michelle''': It’s £250 a pop, people!
:'''James''': No!
:'''Clare''': Can I ask something?!
:'''Erin''': Yeah.
:'''Clare''': How much longer are we gonna ignore the elephant in the room?
:'''Orla''': Where?
:'''Clare''': It’s tomorrow, girls. Tomorrow! Christ, I feel sick.
:'''James''': Why? You’re gonna walk it, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I know that! I’m not worried about me, I’m worried about you four. If you fail your GCSEs the school won’t take you back. I don’t wanna have to make new friends from scratch, I’ll have enough on my plate with the A-levels! I’m just praying you lot will scrape by!
:'''Erin''': Now, that is very considerate of you, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I know!
----
:'''Erin''': “Try to enjoy what time we have left.” It doesn’t even make any sense.
:'''Clare''': It means we’ve failed, Erin. It means no GCSEs, ergo no A-levels, ergo no university, ergo the end!
:'''Michelle''': “Ergo” wise up, Clare.
:'''Erin''': You’re overreacting.
:'''Clare''': I knew I should have cut ties with you lot a long time ago.
:'''Erin''': It’s not our fault!
:'''Clare''': Of course it’s your fault! You’ve dragged me down to your level, your stupidity has finally rubbed off of me. I was a scholar when I met you, Erin, a scholar!
:'''Erin''': You were three!
:'''Clare''': Our lives are over.
:'''Erin''': I wouldn’t say our lives are over.
:'''Clare''': Passing those exams was our only chance. We’re girls, we’re poor, we’re from Northern Ireland and we’re Catholic, for Christ’s sake!
:'''Erin''': Oh, my God, she’s right! What type of future will we have?
:'''Michelle''': We don’t need to worry about the future, Erin. If we fail, well, our mas are gonna fucking wipe us out, and dead people don’t need jobs.
:'''Clare''': Oh, thank you, Michelle. that’s very reassuring!
:'''Erin''': How bad do you think is it? Do you think it’s, like, grounded bad, or…?
:'''Michelle''': Run-away-from-home bad.
:'''Erin''': Exactly.
:'''Orla''': And if it is run-away-from-home-bad, I’m afraid I will need my snorkel back, James.
:'''James''': Okay, let’s not panic…
:'''Clare''': Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
:'''James''': Let’s just wait until tomorrow, and see what we’re dealing with.
:'''Michelle''': Or…we can see what we’re dealing with tonight.
:'''Clare''': ''(hyperventilating)'' How?!

=== The Affair [3.02] ===
:'''Erin''': You said this was dicky, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': That was before the BBC Northern Ireland thing. This could be life-changing. You know, Pamela Anderson was just an ordinary girl at a football match when a roving camera stuck her on the big screen and then, boom.
:'''James''': Yeah, but she looks like Pamela Anderson.
:'''Michelle''': Okay, James, it’s hard for you to see it because we’re related, but I’m a ride. I am a massive fucking ride.
''(Aisling and Jenny come to see them)''
:'''Jenny''': Hey, guys. Not thinking of entering, are you?
:'''Michelle''': We might be.
:'''Jenny''': That’s cute.
:'''Aisling''': So cute.
:'''Erin''': Oh, bring it on, bitches.
''(Rock music is playing in the background)''
----
:'''Michelle''': I think the best thing we could do is just to get the routine on its feet.
:'''Erin''': I agree.
:'''Michelle''': I know we’re gonna smash this, girls. We are gonna lift that trophy. We are gonna perform live on the motherfucking BBC and we’re gonna wipe that smile off Jenny Joyce’s stupid face.
:'''Erin''': Yeah.
:'''James''': Let’s do it.
:'''Michelle''': Hit it!
''(James switches the portable player on but music dies)'' ''(Later in this scene)''
:'''Michelle''': How many times do I have to fucking explain it? It is two steps forward, two steps back. It couldn’t be any fucking simpler. What the fuck is wrong with you all?!
:'''James''': You’re the one that’s out of time!
:'''Michelle''': Say that again, James, and I will floor you. I will lay you out.
:'''Erin''': T think the first bit is pretty good.
:'''Michelle''': The first bit’s shite, Erin. You look like you’re being electrocuted, and what the fuck do you think you’re doing, Clare, the Haka? ''(groans)''
''(Clare storms out of the bedroom)''
:'''Michelle''': Fuck!
----
:'''Gabriel''': ''(Off-screen)'' Come on, Mary.
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(Off-screen)'' I can’t, Gabriel.
:'''Gabriel''': ''(Off-screen)'' No one needs to find out.
:'''Mary Quinn''': ''(Off-screen)'' No, look, look, it’s not like I’m not flattered.
''(Clare is sneaking up slowly and stops and stares at them)''
:'''Gabriel''': You call me when you change your mind.
:'''Mary Quinn''': When? You’re sure of yourself.
:'''Gabriel''': I know how to get what I want. ''(closing the door behind Mary Quinn)''
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Mary, I’ve got a bit of a vegetable situation going on here.
:'''Mary Quinn''': I’m coming!
----
''(Clare heads back to the bedroom to see them)''
:'''Erin''': It’s not my fault your choreography is pedestrian, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': Kiss my actual hole, Erin.
:'''James''': Look, I think we all just need to calm down.
:'''Erin and Michelle''': Piss off, James!
''(Clare knocks at the door; music stops)''
:'''Orla''': Okay, that, is it? I’m going solo.
''(Clare knocks again)''
:'''Michelle''': Oh, Christ, here we go.
:'''Erin''': Screwdriver.
:'''James''': Um, bell. Apron.
:'''Michelle''': Fanny. Big fanny? Fanny pain.
:'''Clare''': The plumber was trying to get off with Erin’s ma! The plumber was trying to get off with Erin’s ma, and now I need to give all of my sponsorship money back.
:'''James''': We’re gonna need more details, Clare.
:'''Clare''': I saw them together in the hall. He was whispering things to her, you know, suggestive things.
:'''Erin''': My ma? He was coming onto my ma? What is he, some sort of reverse pedophile?
:'''Michelle''': I bet Mary told him where to go.
:'''Clare''': Not exactly.
----
''(Horn honks)''
:'''Erin''': Couldn’t you speed up a wee bit?
:'''James''': No, I couldn’t!
:'''Clare''': Are we even moving?
:'''James''': I simply will not negotiate when it comes to road safety.
----
:'''Peter''': Please welcome to the stage, Erin, Orla, Clare, Michelle and James.
''(Applause)''
:'''Peter''': The act you’re going to perform for us tonight, well, they’re absolutely huge.
:'''Michelle''': That’s right, Peter.
:'''Peter''': Matthew.
:'''Michelle''': Matthew! Shit! I got it right in rehearsals, I just…
:'''Peter''': It doesn’t matter.
:'''Michelle''': No, I fucked it.
:'''Peter''': Okay. Give us some clues, girls.
:'''Orla''': Well, Peter… They are English, but we still like them.
:'''Clare''': They’re also probably better known by their nicknames.
:'''Peter''': Which are? And I think this just might give it away now.
:'''Erin''': Ginger! Baby! Sporty! Scary and Posh!
:'''All''': Tonight, Matthew, we’re gonna be The Spice Girls!
:'''Peter''': Girl power!
''(Applause)''

=== Stranger on a Train [3.03] ===
''(Clare and Sister Michael are waiting for the time)''
:'''Clare''': ''(clears her throat)''
:'''Sister Michael''': Here we go.
:'''Clare''': Ah! Sister Michael. Hi.
:'''Sister Michael''': Clare.
:'''Clare''': I wasn’t sure you saw me.
:'''Sister Michael''': No, no, I did.
:'''Clare''': Right. ''(thinking for a moment)'' Heading to Portrush?
:'''Sister Michael''': Yep.
:'''Clare''': Anything nice planned?
:'''Sister Michael''': No.
:'''Clare''': Okay.
:'''Ticket Seller''': ''(talking to Conor on her phone)'' I just don’t see the point. Can we just move on? All right, Conor. The truth is, you never satisfied me sexually.
:'''Clare''': Oh, please no.

=== The Haunting [3.04] ===
:'''Clare''': We had plans tonight.
:'''Michelle''': We can turn our jeans into hot pants any day of the week. We’re talking about a free house here, Clare, a free house. We’re gonna be drinking, dancing and riding.
:'''Erin''': Quick question on the old riding front there.
:'''Michelle''': Go on?
:'''Erin''': Who exactly will we be doing that with?
:'''Michelle''': Young hot farmers. Donegal is coming down with them. Big strapping lads ripped to fuck from all the turf collecting.
:'''Clare''': Oh, don’t worry about me.
:'''Michelle''': There’s actually quite a few lesbians as well, Clare.
:'''Clare''': Lesbian farmers? Really?
:'''Michelle''': Lesbian farming is actually huge in the Republic. We’ll get you sorted, don’t worry.
:'''James''': What about me? Could we pick me up a girl?
:'''Michelle''': Can we pick you up a girl?
:'''Erin''': Like she’s a thing?
:'''Orla''': ''(in the van)'' Yeah, that is so out of order, James.
:'''James''': I didn’t mean… I-I just thought…
:'''Michelle''': Well, you thought wrong, James.
:'''James''': Sorry.
:'''Michelle''': Get in the van. ''(exasperate sigh)'' Dirtbag.
----
:'''Michelle''': Arh! Where the hell are we?
:'''James''': I’ll ask this woman. ''(to Sheila)'' Excuse me? Sorry to bother you.
:'''Sheila''': ''(speaking in Irish)''
:'''James''': Jesus, is she having a stroke?
:'''Erin''': She is an Irish speaker, James.
:'''James''': Oh, why can’t everyone just speak English?
:'''Michelle''': Well, your crowd had a good stab at forcing the entire world to, but we didn’t really enjoy it much, James. Imperialist prick!
:'''James''': Can anyone ask her where this place is?
:'''Clare''': Hmm, my Irish isn’t the best. I decided to keep on French and German, because I though it would give me more options if I wanted to, like, study abroad or whatever.
:'''Michelle''': We’re not filling in your fucking UCAS from here, Clare.
:'''Sheila''': ''(speaking in Irish)''
:'''Michelle''': What’s she saying?
:'''Sheila''': ''(speaking panicky in Irish)'' ''(speaking warningly in Irish)''
:'''Michelle''': Just drive, James. Slan!
:'''Erin''': Slan!

=== The Reunion [3.05] ===
:'''Erin as Mary''': I suppose he’s right to be nervous. About the boys’ school being here, I mean.
:'''Orla as Sarah''': Why, Mary?
:'''Erin as Mary''': Tonight’s gonna be wild, Sarah!
''(“Ladies Night” by Kool &amp; The Gang is playing)''

=== Halloween [3.06] ===
''(“Gangster Trippin” by Fatboy Slim is playing)''
''(So Erin, Orla, Clare, Michelle and James are getting ready and being dressed up as Angels)''
''(Music distorts and stops)''
:'''Mary Quinn''': What are you supposed to be? Swans?
:'''Erin''': We’re not swans?
:'''Orla''': Are we not?
:'''Clare''': We’re angels.
:'''Aunt Sarah''': Angels don’t use crutches.
:'''Gerry Quinn''': And swans do?
:'''Granda Joe''': You’re a swan expert now, are you?
:'''Gerry Quinn''': Yeah, that’s precisely what I said.
:'''Mary Quinn''': God love you, son. Imagine beating you up just cause you like Slimboy Fat.
:'''James''': Yeah, I still can’t quite believe it myself, actually.
''(Car horn beeps)''
:'''Clare''': That’ll be Daddy!
''(They all look out to see Daddy in the car)''
:'''Orla''': Ah, I love his wee toy car.

=== The Agreement [3.07] ===
:'''Little Boy''': 10p mix please.
:'''Michelle''': That’ll be twelve pence.
:'''Little Boy''': Twelve pence for a 10p mix?
''(Dennis appears from below the counter)''
:'''Dennis''': It’s called inflation dickhead.
:'''Michelle''': Now, GET OUT!
----
:'''Michelle''': What was the face all about?
:'''Erin''': What face?
:'''Michelle''': Earlier, when Dennis was talking about Niall you did a face.
:'''Erin''': I didn’t do a face.
:'''Michelle''': You did a face Erin. You did a face like this.
:'''Erin''': I…would never do that face. I couldn’t do that face. That face isn’t even in my repertoire.
:'''Michelle''': Oh, it’s in your repertoire alright, I’ve seen you whip it out over a dozen times, usually when you find something hard to believe. What was hard to believe Erin?
:'''Erin''': It was just when you said that you didn’t want to get your hopes up.
:'''Michelle''': Yeah! 
:'''Erin''': You don’t actually think he should get out do you? 
:'''Michelle''': He’s me brother.
:'''Erin''': He killed someone.
:'''Michelle''': I know that Erin.
:'''James''': I’m not sure we should be talking about this.
:'''Erin''': Isn’t this exactly what we should be talking about? I mean we have to vote on it.
:'''Michelle''': It wasn’t supposed to happen the way it did. 
:'''Erin''': I’m sure that poor man’s family takes great comfort in that.
:'''Michelle''': These things, they’re not black and white Erin.
:'''Erin''': Aren’t they?
:'''Michelle''': Nothing about this place is! 
:'''Erin''': Well I think the fact that you shouldn’t kill people is pretty black and white!
:'''Clare''': Awkward, awkward, awkward, oh God it’s so awkward.
:'''Michelle''': Fuck off Erin. And what would you know anyway, you’re nothing but a spoiled, selfish, sheltered wee brat.
''(Michelle storms out)''
----
:'''Michelle''': You know I’ve never even visited Niall. Me Mam wouldn’t let me, she wouldn’t let any of us. She won’t even say his name any more. He had a son, the man, he had a teenaged son. We found that out later.
:'''Erin''': I'm sorry Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': You weren’t wrong. I mean you weren’t right either. There’s no answer to any of this is there? 
:'''Erin''': No, I don’t think there is you know. 
:'''James''': Do you want to get out of here?
:'''Orla''': Can we take that wee tiny horse? No.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:UK sitcoms]]
[[Category:Channel 4 (UK) shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Teen sitcoms]]
[[Category:Single-camera sitcoms]]
[[Category:TV shows set in Northern Ireland]]</text>
      <sha1>qjo3i1zhgq6i3w8b5sevdbekq3tjd3c</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>The World of Peter Rabbit and Friends</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>221783</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944020</id>
      <parentid>3689676</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T19:35:25Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944020</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="2937" sha1="8kk5prw5wrjv7yhgvl1ofn8iwuiukiz" xml:space="preserve">'''''[[w:The World of Peter Rabbit and Friends|The World of Peter Rabbit and Friends]]''''' is a British animated [[w:anthology|anthology]] children's [[w:television series|television series]] based on the works of [[Beatrix Potter]], featuring [[w:Peter Rabbit|Peter Rabbit]], and other [[w:Anthropomorphism|anthropomorphic]] animal characters created by Potter. 14 of Potter's stories were adapted into 9 films, and the series was originally shown in the U.K. on the [[w:BBC|BBC]] between 20 December 1992 and 25 December 1998. It was subsequently broadcast in the U.S. on [[w:Family Channel|Family Channel]] between 23 October 1992 and 23 October 1995. 

==Cast==
* [[w:Niamh Cusack|Niamah Cusack]] - [[w:Beatrix Potter|Beatrix Potter]] (live action)
* Mark Lockyer - [[w:Peter Rabbit|Peter Rabbit]]
* June Whitefield - Mrs. Rabbit
* Richard Wilson 
* June Watson

==Quotes==
:'''Benjamin Bunny''': Well, what luck. The McGregors are going out. I've better find Peter, though I don't really want to see Aunt Josephine. Anyway, I'd probably only spill things or break something.
:''[Benjamin goes to Peter's tree home and looks at Peter's mother and his 3 sisters; Flopsy, Mopsy and Cottontail. Then he climbs the tree trunk, jumps down and sees Peter in a pocket handkerchief]''
:'''Benjamin Bunny''': Goodness, Peter. What's you think, who's got your clothes?
:'''Peter Rabbit''': The scarecrow in Mr. McGregor's garden. And if you're going to laugh... 
:''[Benjamin holds back a laugh]''
:'''Peter Rabbit''': Mr. McGregor nearly caught me, but I was only looking around. Maybe I tasted a few things. But you should've seen him.
:'''Benjamin Bunny''': ''[giggles]'' No, no. That's what I came to tell you. Mr. McGregor has gone out in a gig and Mrs. McGregor and for the whole day. And I'm sure she was wearing her best hat.
:''[Peter and Benjamin both go on a walk in the forest]''
:'''Peter Rabbit''': Well, I hope it rains.

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:World Of Peter Rabbit And Friends}}
[[Category:1990s UK animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated drama TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated anthology TV shows]]
[[Category:UK TV shows with live action and animation]]
[[Category:UK TV shows based on children's books]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Treehouse TV shows]]
[[Category:YTV shows]]
[[Category:Freeform shows]]
[[Category:BBC shows]]
[[Category:Australian Broadcasting Corporation shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about Leporidae]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about mice and rats]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about cats]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about hedgehogs]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about ducks]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about frogs and toads]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about foxes]]</text>
      <sha1>8kk5prw5wrjv7yhgvl1ofn8iwuiukiz</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Petina Gappah</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>222435</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943903</id>
      <parentid>3547821</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:42:00Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>removed [[Category:Women authors]]; added [[Category:Women authors from Zimbabwe]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <origin>3943903</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="2836" sha1="i16un6w0naahn8vy1ilf5x7joqtimtn" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Petina Gappah Buchmesse.jpg|thumb|Petina Gappah in 2016]]
'''[[wikipedia: Petina Gappah|Petina Gappah]]''' (born 1971) is a Zimbabwean lawyer and writer. 

== Quotes ==

* A lot of my writing is triggered by something true, either something I read in the papers, something I overheard—I am an inveterate eavesdropper—or something that happened in my very large, and very extended, family. And yet it is precisely those things that no one believes are real.
** On what she typically writes about in [https://johannesburgreviewofbooks.com/2017/09/04/exclusive-interview-petina-gappah-speaks-about-the-highs-and-lows-of-her-writing-career-and-reveals-details-of-her-next-book/ “Exclusive interview: Petina Gappah speaks about the highs and lows of her writing career, and reveals details of her next book”] in the Johannesburg Review of Books (2017 Sep 4)

* I think I am a better writer for being a lawyer. My mind is pretty chaotic because I am interested in so much, but it has been disciplined through my legal studies. I want to believe I am more measured in my responses to events, and that I am more analytical of my own motivations and self-justification. I am strongly opinionated but I have learned the gift of dispassion…
** On how being a lawyer shaped her writing in [https://johannesburgreviewofbooks.com/2017/09/04/exclusive-interview-petina-gappah-speaks-about-the-highs-and-lows-of-her-writing-career-and-reveals-details-of-her-next-book/ “Exclusive interview: Petina Gappah speaks about the highs and lows of her writing career, and reveals details of her next book”] in the Johannesburg Review of Books (2017 Sep 4)

* Authentic is one of my least favourite words because in such a diverse country, whose authenticity are you talking about?
** On being considered an authentic Zimbabwean writer in [https://www.theguardian.com/books/2015/sep/05/petina-gappah-interview-ive-written-very-zimbabwean-story “Petina Gappah interview: ‘I’ve written a very Zimbabwean story – we keep a lot of family secrets’”] in The Guardian (2015 Sep 5)

* I think it’s become clear to people what my motivation is. I am not simply anti-government, and I’m not in opposition to any one person; I want to write about all the things that I think are making us into an unkind society…
** On her motivations as a writer in [https://www.theguardian.com/books/2016/nov/13/petina-gappah-zimbabwe-writer-interview “Petina Gappah: ‘I want to write about what makes us into an unkind society’”] in The Guardian (2016 Nov 13)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Gappah, Petina}}
[[Category:Novelists from Zimbabwe]]
[[Category:Short story writers from Zimbabwe]]
[[Category:Lawyers from Zimbabwe]]
[[Category:1971 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Women authors from Zimbabwe]]</text>
      <sha1>i16un6w0naahn8vy1ilf5x7joqtimtn</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>The Berenstain Bears (1985 TV series)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>222657</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943959</id>
      <parentid>3938860</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T14:31:38Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943959</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="46267" sha1="9un4pze3h4tdzt58s8p4pmj47dc603n" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Berenstain Bears (1985 TV series)|The Berenstain Bears Show]]''''' is a English-language Australian 2D animated (traditional, hand-drawn 2D animation (traditional, hand-inked, hand-painted, and hand-colored cel animation)) comedy television series, aimed at toddlers, and preschoolers, based on [[w:Stan and Jan Berenstain|Stan and Jan Berenstain]]'s ''[[w:Berenstain Bears|Berenstain Bears]]'' [[w:children's literature|children's book series]], produced by The Joseph Cates Company, [[w:Endemol Australia|Southern Star/Hanna-Barbera Australia]] and [[w:Hanna-Barbera|Hanna-Barbera]].

It aired in the United States from September 14, 1985 until December 6, 1986 on [[w:CBS|CBS]].

==Season 1 (1985)==
===Go Fly a Kite===

===The Trojan Pumpkin===

===The Spooky Old Mansion===

===The Fly Away Pizza===

===The Giant Bat Cave===

===The Wild Wild Honey===

===The Neighborly Skunk===

===The Missing Pumpkin===

===Too Much Birthday===
:'''Mama Bear''': ''[sighing; as she piles that season's pumpkins in a wheelbarrow]'' I do hope Papa is being careful. He's taking down that big tree today, and...
:'''Papa Bear''': ''[off-screen]'' '''''TIM-BERRRRRRRRRRR!!!'''''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Sister Bear''': Do we have them, Papa?
:'''Papa Bear''': Do we have what?
:'''Sister Bear''': Annual rings.
:'''Papa Bear''': ''[laughing]'' No, my dear. We have something better: ''birthdays'' and birthday ''parties''. And it seems to me that you're going to be having a birthday pretty soon.
:'''Sister Bear''': A party? Am I going to have a birthday party? ''[dancing excitedly]'' A real birthday party with all the trimmings?
:'''Papa Bear''': I don't see why not.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Papa Bear''': Oh, good. The [[w:pony|ponies]] and the [[w:merry-go-round|merry-go-round]] are here.
:'''Mama Bear''': The what?
:'''Papa Bear''': Oh, didn't I tell you? I rented ponies and a merry-go-round for the party. It just wouldn't be a party without ponies and a merry-go-round.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Brother Bear''': ''[as Sister pins the tail on the donkey just right]'' Terrific! Way to go! Yay, Sister!
:'''Sister Bear''': ''[removing the blindfold]'' Oh goody, I won, I won!
:'''Papa Bear''': ''[presenting one of Sister's friends with a prize]'' Good work, sonny. Here's your prize!
:'''Sister Bear''': But Mama, I won fair and square!
:'''Mama Bear''': Of course you won, sweetie, but you can't get the prize because it's your birthday. It wouldn't be polite.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Papa Bear''': ''[as Sister is presented with her birthday cake]'' Okay gang, when I give the signal, Sister's gonna blow out the candles and we're all gonna sing &quot;Happy Birthday, Sister Bear&quot;. ''[to Sister]'' Okay sweetie, get set... blow!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Papa Bear, Mama Bear, Brother Bear, and Sister's friends sing &quot;Happy Birthday Sister Bear&quot;. It is sung to the tune of [[w:London Bridge (nursery rhyme)|London Bridge]].]'' 
:'''Papa Bear, Brother Bear and Sister's friends''': ''[singing]'' ''♪ Happy birthday, Sister Bear, ♪''
:''♪ Sister Bear, Sister Bear. ♪''
:''♪ Happy birthday, Sister Bear. ♪''
:''♪ We all love you! ♪''
:''[But after Papa, Brother and Sister's friends sing &quot;Happy Birthday, Sister Bear&quot;, Sister begins crying.]''
:'''Mama Bear''': Sweetie, what's the matter? It's your birthday! Why are you so upset?
:'''Sister Bear''': ''[in between tears]'' '''It isn't fair! I was the first one out in [[w:musical chairs|musical chairs]], I didn't get my [[w:pin the tail on the donkey|donkey game]] prize, I got bounced on the ponies, and sick in the merry-go-round. And I don't want to have six cubs, I only want to have three!'''
:''[Sister resumes crying.]'' 
:'''Brother Bear''': Gee, Sis. How about your presents? You haven't opened them yet.
:'''Papa Bear''': And cake and ice cream. You haven't had them yet, either.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Sister Bear''': I want to thank you for my birthday party, Papa. You and Mama.
:'''Papa Bear''': Parties ''are'' exciting, sweetie, and presents ''are'' lovely! But your Mama is right. Getting to be six years old is pretty important. And you're going to be six for a whole year, and it's up to you to make the most of it. To learn, to have fun, to grow in every way.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Papa Bear''': ''[eating the last of Sister's birthday cake]'' You're absolutely right, Mama. ''[gulps]'' There is such a thing as too much birthday... and, too much birthday cake. ''[chuckles nervously]''
:''[Then the cubs chuckle along with him]''

'''NOTE''': This is one of the two episodes in the 1985 TV series where Lizzy Bruin appears in. The other is Season 2's &quot;The Trouble with Friends&quot;.

===To the Rescue===

===The Soccer Star===

===Shoot the Rapids===

===Knight to Remember===

===The Super Duper Bowl===

===The Not So Buried Treasure===

===The Condemned Backscratcher===

===Kong For a Day===
:'''Weasel McGreed''': ''[on the phone with Raffish Ralph]'' What sort of act? Uh-huh. But it better be good. In fact, it better be better than that last deal of yours. That fly away pizza was an L-E-M-O-N, LEMON!

===No Girls Allowed===
:'''Sister Bear''': Hey, terrific! A secret clubhouse! Hot diggety! A new clubhouse! A new clubhouse! 
:''[Sister tries to do her victory dance, but she stops when she hears a drawbridge noise. Brother and the other boys reveal a sign --attached to the underside of the clubhouse door-- which says, &quot;NO GIRLS ALLOWED!&quot;.) 
:'''Sister Bear''': No girls allowed?!
:'''Brother and the Other Boy Cubs''': ''[to Sister]'' '''THAT'S RIGHT! NO GIRLS ALLOWED!'''
:'''Sister Bear''': '''IT IS NOT FAIR! IT IS NOT FAIR! IT JUST ISN'T FAIR!''' 
:''[Sister runs off crying. The scene cuts back to the treehouse. In the next scene, Sister is seen with Mama and Papa. She has presumably reported to them about the boys/big cubs not letting her into their boy's clubhouse.]''
:'''Papa Bear''': '''YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! IT ISN'T FAIR! IN FACT, IT IS FAIR TO HAVE A COMPLETE AND TOTAL OUTRAGE!'''
:''[True to what Papa says, the boys not letting girls allowed is not fair for Sister and he --Papa-- agrees with that. That is, and it is fair that he --Papa-- should have a complete and total outrage. After Papa says, this he says...!]''
:'''Papa Bear''': ''[calmly, but sternly]'' '''NOW COME! WE ARE GOING TO GO BACK THERE AND MAKE THEM --THE BOYS/BIG CUBS-- TAKE YOU INTO THEIR SILLY CLUB! AND IF THEY DON'T, I AM GOING TO DESTROY THAT CLUBHOUSE LIMB FROM LIMB!'''
:'''Sister Bear''': Right!
:'''Mama Bear''': I don't think that's the answer. Those boys are being unfair. Sometimes boys act that way, so do girls, but whoever does it, it's wrong. The important thing is not whether you're a boy or girl, but the sort of person you are. Be that as it may, you can't make cubs play with you.
:'''Sister Bear''': No, but you can tear them limb from limb! ''[to Papa]'' Come on, Papa!
:'''Mama Bear''': Wouldn't it be a better idea for you to form your own club and build a secret clubhouse of your own?
:'''Sister Bear''': Could I?
:'''Papa Bear''': Why not? I'd be glad to help. Why, we can build it in the old climbing tree!
:'''Sister Bear''': Terrific! The first thing we'll need is a big sign that says: &quot;No Boys Allowed&quot;.
:'''Mama Bear''': No, the first thing you'll need is members.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sister Bear''': Those boys were just being mean because I outhit them and won all their marbles! They're bad losers!
:'''Mama Bear''': I suppose that's true, but you know, there's such a thing as a bad winner, too.
:'''Sister Bear''': Bad winner? What's that?
:'''Mama Bear''': A bad winner is somebody who makes a big braggy show every time she wins.
:''[Sister Bear briefly imagines herself doing her victory dance whilst happily shouting &quot;I won!&quot; repeatedly, which is shown through a thought bubble.]'' 
:'''Sister Bear''': I see what you mean.
:'''Mama Bear''': But I think we can work something out.

===The Missing Dinosaur Bone===

===The Spookiest Pumpkin===

===The Dancing Bees===

===Learn About Strangers===
:'''Stranger''': I'm going to set up my [[w:orange|orange]]-and-[[w:green|green]] radio-controlled job and follow it in the [[w:car|car]]. Do you want to come along?
:'''Brother Bear''': Wow! Can I?
:'''Sister Bear''': ''[Stops him]'' '''DON'T YOU DARE!'''
:''[The stranger drives away.]'' 
:'''Sister Bear''': ''[sing-songy]'' ♪'''BROTHER TALKED TO A STRANGER! BROTHER TALKED TO A STRANGER!'''♪  
:''[Sister runs back to the house and tells Mama and Papa that Brother talked to a stranger. The scene cuts to Brother who is having a talking-to with Papa.]''
:'''Brother Bear''': But it was a big, orange-and-green radio-controlled job!
:'''Papa Bear''': That doesn't matter! We have rules about strangers, and they're important!
:'''Brother Bear''': We have rules about tattletales, too!
:'''Mama Bear''': Sister wasn't tattling. Tattling is telling just to be mean. And Sister was telling because she loves you and she was worried.
:'''Brother Bear''': Do you think that guy was a bad apple?
:'''Mama Bear''': Probably not.
:'''Sister Bear''': That's right, but you have to be careful, just in case.

===The Disappearing Honey===

===In the Dark===
:'''Sister Bear''': What are you going to take out at the [[w:library|library]] today?
:'''Brother Bear''': Same thing I took out last time.
&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Brother Bear''': Help! Screamed the three friends. Help! 
:'''Sister Bear''': '''STOP! STOP! STOP READING! STOP! STOP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE!
:'''Brother Bear''': Sister is a scaredy bear! Sister is a scaredy...! 
:'''Papa Bear''': Now, now! That will be enough of that! ''[To Sister]'' Now sweetie, you mustn't let your imagination run away with you like that. It's only a [[w:book|book.]] 
:'''Brother Bear''': ''[Agrees with Papa]'' Yeah. It's only a book.
:'''Sister Bear''': '''A STUPID DOPEY SCARY BOOK!
:'''Sister Bear''': I heard it! It went... ''[cowardly moaning like a ghost]'' ...ooooohhh, oooooohhhh, oooohhh!
:'''Mama Bear''': Do you know anything about this, young fella?
:'''Brother Bear''': It's like Papa said. She just let her imagination run away with her.
:'''Papa Bear''': Uh-huh. ''[puts Sister Bear back in the top bed]'' Well, let's just put it this way. ''[angrily looking down at Brother]'' If there's anymore &quot;ooh ooh ooh&quot;, it's going to be followed by a little &quot;ow, ow, ow!&quot;
:'''Mama Bear''': Alright. Let's settle down and get some sleep. Papa and I are going to bed now so we'll be right by and we'll leave the lights on for the time being
:'''Sister Bear''': Thank you Mama.
:'''Brother Bear''': ''[Angry]'' Leave the lights on?! What about me? I can't sleep with the lights on! They keep me awake!
:'''Sister Bear''': Well that's just too bad. ''[Brother angrily gets out of bed and turns the lights off.]'' '''HELP!!! CAVE MONSTERS!!! MAMA!!! PAPA!!! COME QUICK!!!
&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[During the night, Sister's fear of the dark causes disruption as the cubs' bedroom light keeps getting switched on and off...]''
:'''Sister Bear''': Help!
:''[The lights go on]''
:'''Brother Bear''': Can't sleep.
:''[The lights go off]''
:'''Sister Bear''': Help!
:''[The lights go on again]''
:'''Brother Bear''': Can't sleep.
:''[The lights go off again]''
:'''Sister Bear''': Help!
:''[The lights go on yet again]''
:'''Brother Bear''': Can't sleep!
:''[The lights go off yet again]''
:'''Sister Bear''': Help!
:''[The lights go on]''
:'''Brother Bear''': Can't sleep...

===Ring the Bell===

==Season 2 (1986)==
===The Messy Room===

:'''Echoing the book the episode was based with''': ''When small cubs forget to store and stash,''
:''Some of their favorite things,''
:''They go in the trash.''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Mr. Mailbear''': Good morning, Mrs. Bear. There's some mail for you.
:'''Mama Bear''': Thank you, Mr. Mailbear. Oh, good. My &quot;Treehouse Keeping&quot; magazine.
:'''Sister Bear''': Hi, Mama, excuse us. Hey, how about a game of tiddlywinks?
:'''Brother Bear''': Okay. I'll race you up to our room.
:'''Sister Bear''': You're on!
:'''Mama Bear''': Those cubs! With that kind of energy, you'd think they could take better care of their room. Ahh... speaking of rooms, aren't these lovely?

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Mama Bear''': Dear, just look at these lovely rooms.
:'''Papa Bear''': Wh-what? Rooms? What rooms? Help! Where am I?
:'''Mama Bear''': These model tree house rooms in &quot;Treehouse Keeping&quot; magazine. Aren't they lovely?
:'''Papa Bear''': Oh, they're nice enough, I suppose. But certainly, no lovelier than the rooms in our very own tree house. This lovely, gracious neat-as-a-pin living room, cozy, warm, comfortable in the extreme.
:'''Mama Bear''': Oh, it's alright, I suppose.
:'''Papa Bear''': And our delightful dining room, a room to be proud of. Floor clean enough to eat off. Not to mention the table.
:'''Mama Bear''': Yes, but...
:'''Papa Bear''': And, of course, your wonderful spick-and-span, perfectly delicious kitchen, a model room if ever there was one.
:'''Mama Bear''': Yes, but...
:'''Papa Bear''': Yes, but what?
:'''Mama Bear''': Yes, but there's one place in this treehouse I'm not proud of. Brother and Sister's room is a mess, a perfectly dreadful knock-down drag-out wall-to-wall mess. And I'm not going to stand for it any longer! I've put up with that messy room long enough!
:'''Papa Bear''': Well, dear. I've got some urgent work to do in my shop.
:''[Meanwhile in Brother and Sister's bedroom]''
:'''Brother Bear''': For Pete's sake, Sister, will you take your shot? We're playing tiddlywinks, not chess.
:'''Sister Bear''': Just hold your horses. I didn't get to be tiddlywinks champ of Bear Country School by rushing my shot...
:''[The cubs hear Mama's footsteps banging in the hallway floor, approaching the cubs' bedroom.]'' 
:'''Sister Bear''': What's that? An [[w:earthquake|earthquake?]]
:'''Brother Bear''': Worse, it's Mama on the war path. Climbing the stairs.
:'''Sister Bear''': Stomping along the hall.
:'''Brother Bear''': Pounding on the door.
:''[Mama Bear pounds on the door]''
:'''Brother Bear and Sister Bear''': ''[in sing-songy voice]'' '''♪Come in!♪'''
:''[Mama pushes the door, which pushes the toys in the way. And instead of answering, she just scowls at the messy room.]''
:'''Brother Bear and Sister Bear''': ''[in sing-songy voice]'' Hi, Mama.
:'''Mama Bear''': ''[scowls]'' '''GRRR!''' 
:''[Mama notices the messy bedroom and notices many spiders and cobwebs.]'' 
:'''Mama Bear''': Pretty nice collection of [[w:spider|spiders]] you got up here.
:'''Sister Bear''': Yes, they're very useful. They eat the [[w:ant|ants]] that come in for food crumbs.
:'''Mama Bear''': Very clever. Isn't it hard to get around? I mean, in all this mess? 
:'''Brother Bear''': Not really. Watch.
:''[Brother playing pogo stick.]''
:'''Mama Bear''': Very impressive.
:''[Mama tries to get Brother and Sister's closet door to open.]''
:'''Mama Bear''': How do you get this closet door open to hang up your clothes, I mean. 
:'''Sister Bear''': Well, we don't bother. We just sort of hang our clothes in different places around the room.
:''[Mama briefly pauses her outrage and smiles. That is, as she says...]''
:'''Mama Bear''': ''[smiles]'' Most impressive. In fact...
:''[She stops smiling and goes back to being angry. And then, she next says...]''
:'''Mama Bear''': ...this is the most impressive mess I personally have even seen! '''The filthiest, dirtiest, most disgusting mess known to bears! UNQUESTIONABLY THE NUMBER ONE MESSY ROOM IN ALL BEAR COUNTRY, DESTINED TO GO DOWN IN THE FILTHY, DIRTY HALL OF FAME! And I am just not going to take it any longer! I'VE HAD IT! NO MORE MRS. NICE GUY! THE TIME HAS DEFINITELY COME FOR ME TO PUT...MY...FOOT...DOWN!''' 
:''[When Mama says, &quot;No more Mrs. Nice Guy!&quot;, that means she is through --about the mess-- being Mr. Nice Little Bear. And she is not going to be nice about it again ever. When Mama &quot;puts her foot down&quot;, she accidentally stomps on Brother's airplane cement.]'' 
:'''Sister Bear''': Yecch!
:'''Brother Bear''': Yeah, Mama. You have a perfect right to put your foot down. But when you did it, you put it down right on my airplane cement.
:'''Mama Bear''': ''[from o.c]'' '''That does it! THAT DOES IT!''' ''[Back to her]'' '''Now hear this! I WANT THIS ENTIRE ROOM CLEANED! And for starters, I want this entire floor picked up, picked up clean and I want it done in exaclty...'''
:''[She points to the bear clock --that is, as the scene cuts to the clock.]'' 
:'''Mama Bear''': '''...FIFTEEN MINUTES!''' 
:''[Cut to the cubs.]''
:'''Brother and Sister Bear''': ''[told they are supposed to tidy up their messy bedroom in 15 minutes]'' Fifteen minutes?!
:''[Cut back to Mama.]''
:'''Mama Bear''': ''[frustratingly leaves the bedroom and gives the cubs a chance to clean their bedroom]'' You've heard me! Fifteen minutes!
:''[She leaves the bedroom. The cubs have three to fifteen minutes to clean up their room.]''
:'''Brother Bear''': Anyway, that stuff she picked up with her foot is a start.
:'''Sister Bear''': Look, we don't have time for smart remarks. You've got some heavy picking up to do.
:'''Brother Bear''': I've got some heavy picking up to do? How do you figure that? Most of this mess is yours.
:'''Sister Bear''': Oh, yeah? What about these? Your baseball cards? Your ball, bat, and glove?
:'''Brother Bear''': Oh, yeah? What about these? Your farm animals? Your stuffed bunny?
:''[Brother kicks Sister's stuffed bunny.]''
:'''Sister Bear''': Well, if you're so smart, how am I supposed to sweep up with your dumb dinosaur toys all over the floor?!
:''[Sister sweeps up Brother's dinosaur collection with the broom.]''
:'''Brother Bear''': They're not toys! They're models and you leave them alone! I'm working on a setup of the [[w:Mesozoic Era|Pleistocene Age!]]!
:'''Sister Bear''': Pleistocene, schmeistocene! That's what you get for kicking my stuffed bunny!
:''[The cubs pause the argument and notice the time.]''
:'''Sister Bear''': ''[looks at the bear clock]'' You know something? 
:'''Brother Bear''': What?
:'''Sister Bear''': This isn't getting the job done and the minutes are ticking by.
:'''Brother Bear''': We better get to work.
:''[They are cleaned up. That is, except for one thing. It is the pile of toys.]''
:'''Brother Bear''': Well, what do you think?
:'''Sister Bear''': What do I think? I think we're in big trouble.
:'''Brother Bear''': And the 15 minutes are almost up.
:'''Sister Bear''': What are we going to do!?
:'''Brother Bear''': I'm thinking, I'm thinking. I'm... thinking I have a creative idea.
:'''Sister Bear''': We sure could use one. Mama's gonna have a fit if we don't get this whole mess off the floor and out of sight.
:'''Brother Bear''': Precisely!
:''[Brother and Sister quickly pick up their toys. And they hide the mess in their closet. Then the scene dissolves to Mama rocking on her rocking chair and reading a book, she is keeping track of the time. Before standing back up, she --seriously-- looks at her watch.]''
:'''Mama Bear''': 15 minutes? 15 minutes! Time is up!   
:''[Mama zips out of her rocking chair. She opens Brother and Sister's bedroom door, then Brother and Sister reveal the room &quot;cleaned&quot;.]''
:'''Brother Bear and Sister Bear''': ''[cheering and in a sing-songy tone]'' '''♪TA-DA!♪'''
:''[Mama --briefly-- looks around the cub's bedroom. But she is unaware that the cubs have hidden the mess in their closet.]''
:'''Mama Bear''': ''[smiles]'' This is wonderful! ''[from o.c]'' I can actually see the floor!
:'''Brother Bear''': Yeah, you can get around the room without a [[w:Pogo stick|pogo stick.]]
:'''Mama Bear''': ''[proudly]'' And look! The floor is clean! And in any language, you can actually open the...!
:''[Mama is still unaware that the mess is hidden in the cubs's closet. That is, until she gets to the closet. And --with her impression about the floor being clean-- she is about to open the closet door.]''
:'''Brother and Sister''': ''[together shouting --alarmed and pleadingly tell Mama to not open the closet door]'' No, Mama! Don't open the...!
:''[But Mama opens the closet door anyway. Then all of the cub's toys fell out and the room reveals to become a mess again. That is, after the cubs tried hiding the mess in their closet.]'' 
:'''Cubs''': '''...CLOSET!'''
:''[Mama grits her teeth since she is covered up by the cubs' toys. Then she gets up and furiously marches out of the room. She goes down to the basement, retrieves a giant box, and writes down the word &quot;TRASH&quot; on it. Then she goes upstairs with it and sets it down onto the floor.]''
:'''Brother Bear''': What are you going to do, Mama?
:'''Sister Bear''': What's the box for?
:''[Mama Bear picks up one toy after another and starts to throw away some of the cubs's favorite things.]'' 
:'''Mama Bear''': '''It's for all of this trash!'''
:''[The cubs then watch in horror as Mama throws away some of their favorite things into the trash box.]''
:'''Sister Bear''': ''[picks up a book trying to get it back]'' '''No, Mama! No!'''
:'''Brother Bear''': ''[trying to get back his sport cards]'' '''My baseball cards aren't trash!'''
:''[Cut back to Mama who is throwing some of the cubs's favorite things into the trash box.]''  
:'''Mama Bear''': '''All of this good for nothing but throw away trash!''' 
:''[Cut back to the cubs.]'' 
:'''Sister Bear''': ''[takes out her doll, crayons, and dinosaur coloring book trying to get it back out of the box]'' '''That's not trash! That's my best [[w:Doll|doll!]] Not my [[w:Coloring book|coloring book]] and [[w:Crayon|crayons]]! Help! HELP! PLEASE!'''
:''[Cut to the workshop where Papa is sawing wood when he hears Brother and Sister's cry for help as Mama throws away some of their favorite things.]''
:'''Brother Bear''': ''[offscreen]'' '''Please Mama! Not my [[w:Dinosaur|dinosaur]] collection! Stop! That's my first [[w:Baseball glove|baseman's mitt!''']] HELP!'''
:'''Brother Bear and Sister Bear''': '''OH NO! HELP!'''
:'''Papa Bear''': Cries for help! ''[runs into the house and enters the bedroom]'' '''QUIEEEEEEEET!'''
:''[Papa sees the mess in the cubs' bedroom that Mama made.]'' 
:'''Papa Bear''': ''[calmy, but firmly]'' Well, the mess certainly has built up in this room. In fact, it's the worst case of messy build-up I've ever seen. Now, let's sit down and talk this over calmly. 
:''[The scene cuts to him and the cubs.]'' 
:'''Papa Bear''': So you see, this messy room isn't fair. It isn't fair to your Mama and me. We have a lot of other things to take care of. ''[Close up of Brother]'' But it isn't fair to you cubs... ''[Cut to Sister]'' ...because you really can't have fun or relax in a room... ''[Cut to Mama, crossing her arms]''...that's such a terrible mess. ''[Back to him and the cubs]''. What you need is a little organization and maybe a box.
:'''Brother Bear''': Not a trash box? 
:'''Papa Bear''': No, a toy box. I'll make you one and maybe a lot of other little boxes for your games and collections.
:'''Sister Bear''': And how about one of those boards with all the holes in it? Like you have in your shop.
:'''Papa Bear''': A pegboard! Good idea.
:'''Mama Bear''': ''[calmly, but sternly]'' A little organization and a few rules! Rules about more sweeping, less arguing, and not leaving things to gather dust and cobwebs! 
:''[As echoed from the book --regarding with the trash box-- some of the cubs's favorite things did end up in Mama's throw away box. That is, but of course not Sister's teddy and Brother's dinosaur collection, sport cards, and baseball glove. But some of Brother's bird nests --from his bird nest collection-- especially the crumbling and fallen apart ones. On said page of that --regarding with the trash box-- it says, &quot;Some of the cubs's favorite things ended up in Mama's throw away box. That is, but not including Sister's teddy bear and Brother's dinosaur collection, of course. But really, some things like Brother's bird nest collection, especially the crumbling and fallen apart bird nests&quot;.]''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Regarding with the new changes to the closet.]''
:'''Mama Bear''': I do not think I dare.
:'''Brother Bear''': Go ahead! Open it! 
:''[When Mama opens the closet, she sees all the boxes with the cubs's favorite things. And they are marked down with a specific category they belong to. For example, Brother's dinosaur collection belongs in the box of dinosaur models. That is, which is the box that has the word &quot;DINOSAURS&quot; marked on it.]''
:'''Mama Bear''': Oh! Yes, indeed! A room and a closet to be proud of!
:'''Sister Bear''': What about us?
:'''Brother Bear''': Yeah, aren't you proud of us, too?
:'''Mama Bear''': Abso-tively pos-olutley!
:'''Papa Bear''': Hey, what about yours truly, '''[[w:List of Berenstain Bears characters|Papa Q. Bear]]'''?
:'''Mama Bear''': What do you think, cubs? Should we keep ol' Papa Q.?
:'''Cubs''': ''[Laughing]'': Yeah, let's keep him!

===The Terrible Termite===
:'''Raffish Ralph''': Who and what in the name of all that's where are you?
:'''Terrible Termite''': My friends call me the Terrible [[w:termite|Termite...]] that is, They would if I had any friends...

===Forget their Manners===
:''[Brother and Sister Bear started with name-calling]''
:'''Sister Bear''': '''HEY! COME ON, SILLYHEAD! DIDN'T YOU HEAR MAMA!?'''
:'''Brother Bear''': '''I HEARD HER! STOP BEING SUCH A FUZZ BRAIN!'''
:'''Sister Bear''': '''YOU NOODLEPUSS!'''
:'''Brother Bear''': '''LAY OFF, YOU LITTLE MINI!'''
:'''Papa Bear''': Now, see here!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[In the dining room, Brother and Sister are tugging over one honey jar]''
:'''Brother Bear''': Gimme that!
:'''Sister Bear''': I had it...first!
:'''Brother Bear''': Stop grabbing!
:'''Mama Bear''': ''[enters the dining room and sees Brother and Sister fighting over a honey jar]'' For goodness sake! Where are your manners?! There's plenty of [[w:honey|honey]] for everyone.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Mama Bear''': I'm calling it &quot;The Bear Family Politeness Plan&quot;. It seems to me that the best way to fight bad habits is with good habits. For example, if any of us forgets to say &quot;please and thank you&quot;, he or she has to sweep the front steps. And pushing or shoving means you have to beat two [[w:rug|rugs.]]
:''[Echoing from the book, if you forgot a &quot;please&quot; or &quot;thank you&quot; you had to sweep the front steps, if you pushed or shoved you had to beat two rugs, and if you got caught name calling you had to clean the entire cellar. In the book, it says, &quot;If you forgot a 'please' or 'thank you' you had to sweep the front steps, if you pushed or shoved you had to beat two rugs, if you were caught interrupting you had to dust the downstairs, and if you were caught name calling you had to clean the entire cellar&quot;.]'' 
:'''Brother Bear''': But Mama, all those chores?
:'''Sister Bear''': '''YOU'RE NOT BEING FAIR!'''
:'''Mama Bear''': It seems to me that you're the ones that aren't being fair. Manners help us to get along with each other. Why, without manners...
:'''Papa Bear''': ''[interrupts]'' Your mama's absolutely right!
:'''Mama Bear''': Thanks for your comment, Papa, but interrupting is number 3 on the rude list. And the penalty is dusting the room.
:'''Papa Bear''': But...
:'''Mama Bear''': You didn't say, &quot;thank you&quot; for the [[w:duster|duster]]. I'm afraid that means after you're finished dusting, you have to sweep the front steps (and that's number 1). ''[leaves the living room]''
:''[Papa starts dusting the table with a feather duster]''
:'''Sister Bear''': ''[reading the chart]'' Rude noises, what does that mean?
:'''Papa Bear''': Oh you know, ''[blows raspberry]''
:'''Mama Bear''': Penalty number 7!
:'''Papa Bear''': ''[names the penalty for the 7th rule; as shown on the &quot;Bear Family Politeness Plan&quot; rule list]'' Weed the garden!?
:''[Later, Papa dusts the downstairs, sweeps the front steps, pull the weeds from the garden. This was penalties 3, 1, and 7. He was caught interrupting, forgot a &quot;Please&quot; and a &quot;Thank You&quot;, and made rude noises. And indeed, when starting the &quot;Bear Family Politeness Plan&quot;, forgetting a &quot;Please&quot; or a &quot;Thank You&quot; meant you had to sweep the front steps, pushing or shoving was beat two rugs, interrupting was sweep the front steps, and name calling was cleaning the entire cellar.]'' 
:'''Brother Bear''': This is serious. If we're not careful, we may end up doing all those chores.

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Papa Bear''': ''[after accidentally crashing the car]'' '''WHY THAT PIN HEADED FIDDLEBRAIN!'''
:'''Sister Bear''': Papa, that's name calling!
:'''Mama Bear''': (Penalty number 4!) You know what the penalty for that is!
:'''Papa Bear''': The worst penalty of all! Cleaning our entire cellar!
:''[Echoing from the book, the penalty for name calling, it was &quot;clean the entire cellar&quot;. So Papa gritted his teeth and remembered his manners.]'' 
:'''Driver''': ''[angrily; to Papa after he accidentally bumped his car]'' You No-good nincompoop! Why I ought too...!

===The Wicked Weasel Spell===

===The Truth===
:''[After Brother and Sister accidentally break Mama's best lamp]''
:'''Sister Bear''': Mama's favorite [[w:lamp|lamp!]]
:'''Brother Bear''': Smashed all to bits!
:'''Sister Bear''': What are we gonna do?!
:'''[[w:mockingbird|Mockingbird]]''': ''[to Brother and Sister]'' Well,  I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna get the heck out of here. 
:''[The mockingbird, she flies away. As echoed from the book version, the bear family had some house rules just as any family has. The first rule --out of the three-- it was, &quot;No eating honey in bed!&quot;. The second rule was, &quot;No tracking mud on the clean floors!&quot;. And the third and final one was, &quot;No playing ball in the house!&quot;.]''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Brother Bear''': Oh, my gosh! Here comes Mama!
:'''Sister Bear''': Oh, no! What'll we do?
:'''Brother Bear''': We could hide the lamp!
:'''Sister Bear''': There's no time!
:'''Brother Bear''': Well, we can at least hide the [[w:soccer ball|soccer ball.]]
:'''Sister Bear''': Hurry, here she comes! Hide it quick!
:'''Mama Bear''': Well, I'm back from my shopping. Did you have your milk and cook...? ''[She sees that her best lamp is broken]'' My lamp! My very best lamp! What happened to it?
:'''Brother Bear''': Well, um...
:'''Sister Bear''': You see...
:'''Brother Bear''': It got broken.
:'''Mama Bear''': I know it got broken! How did it get broken?
:'''Brother Bear''': Well, it was a bird!
:'''Sister Bear''': A bird? Yes. A bird!
:'''Brother Bear''': That's right! A big purple bird with yellow feet!
:'''Sister Bear''': Yes! And a red head and green wingtips.
:'''Brother Bear''': And funny little red feathers sticking out of its head.
:'''Mama Bear''': This bird, did it make any kind of sound?
:'''Brother Bear''': It squawked.
:'''Sister Bear''': It whistled.
:'''Brother Bear''': That's right. It squawked and whistled.
:''[red-headed purple bird squawking and whistling]''
:'''Brother Bear''': Then it flew in the window, zoomed around the room, and broke the lamp.
:'''Mama Bear''': Well, that was quite an experience.
:'''Brother Bear and Sister Bear''': Yeah.
:'''Papa Bear''': Well, hello, group! How's every little... ''[He sees that Mama's best lamp is fully broken]'' HOLY [[w:catfish|CATFISH!!]] What happened to Mama's best lamp?
:'''Mama Bear''': It's quite an interesting story. Why don't you tell it to your Papa?
:'''Brother Bear''': Well, there was this big green-headed yellow bird with purple feet...
:'''Sister Bear''': No! A red-headed purple bird with yellow feet.
:'''Brother Bear''': Yeah, yeah. A purple-headed green bird with red feet and yellow wingtips and green feathers growing out of it's...
:'''Sister Bear''': No, no, no! A yellow-headed green bird with red feet and purple wingtips and...
:'''Papa Bear''': Just a minute, please! You've got me confused. Now, what was it, a yellow bird with green wingtips and purple feet, or a purple bird with green wingtips and yellow feet, or a white bird with black spots, like that soccer ball behind my easy chair? Well, do you two say for yourselves?
:'''Mama Bear''': Now, Papa, don't be too hard on them. You see? I'm not worried about the lamp. We can always get a new lamp or we can [[w:super glue|glue]] this one back together. What I'm sad about is the thought that maybe, just maybe, my cubs whom I've always trusted, aren't telling me the truth. And trust is not something you can put back together again once it's broken.
:''[From Mama's saying, buying another lamp is always possible. That is, or gluing the old lamp back together.]'' 
:'''Sister Bear''': It wasn't a bird, it was a soccer ball!
:'''Brother Bear''': And it was all my fault.
:'''Sister Bear''': It was just as much as my fault.

===Save the Bees===
:'''Sister Bear''': A [[w:penny|penny]] for your thoughts, Papa.
:'''Papa Bear''': Where's the penny?
:'''Sister Bear''': Right here.
:'''Papa Bear''': Well, what your old Papa was thinking about...
:'''Mama Bear, Sister Bear and Brother Bear''': ...was honey! ''[chuckle]''
:'''Sister Bear''': That's all you ever think about, Papa.
:'''Papa Bear''': It's all very well to scoff. But the fact is that honey is very important to Bear Country. Not only is it nature's most perfect food, it's the foundation of Bear Country's entire economy. Why, without bees and honey, Bear Country would be in very serious trouble!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Weasel McGreed''': Just picture it, hundreds of thousands of these little darlings gulping down those bees, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp!
:'''Raffish Ralph''': I'm picturing, I'm picturing!
:'''Weasel McGreed''': Hour after hour! Day after day! And after a while, no more bees!
:'''Raffish Ralph''': Ah, and no more bees means no more honey!
:'''Weasel McGreed''': And no more honey means the end of Bear Country as we know it!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Weasel McGreed''': &quot;Mission accomplished!&quot; ''[laughs maniacally]'' Release another bee! ''[laughs maniacally]''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Professor Actual Factual''': They've done it! By Jove, they've done it! Brother and Sister have saved the bees!
:'''Brother Bear and Sister Bear''': With a little help from our friends.

===Get in a Fight===
:'''Brother Bear''': '''SISTER, GET YOUR DOPEY FEET OUT OF MY FACE!'''
:''[Sister puts her face into Brother's face.]''
:'''Sister Bear''': '''MY FEET AREN'T DOPEY, GROUCHPUSS AND THEY'RE NOT IN YOUR FACE!'''
:'''Brother Bear''': '''NOW HEAR THIS! GET YOUR DOPEY FACE OUT OF MY FACE!'''
:'''Sister Bear''': ''[still has her face in Brother's face]'' Oh yeah!? Well, you're the one that's dopey, Brother Bear!
:''[With a smirk, Sister zips out of her bunk fast and runs in front of Brother.]'' 
:'''Sister Bear''': And in any language, while you sit there like a claud, I'm getting into the bathroom ahead of you and locking the door! (You can have some time, if I leave any!) 
:''[Sister --after she says this-- runs off to the bathroom, gets into it before Brother, and locks the door. That is, after saying she is going to go to the bathroom ahead of him. And she next says...]'' 
:'''Brother Bear''': '''HEY! YOU CAN'T DO THAT...''' ''[running to the door.]'' '''...YOU LITTLE TWERP! YOU UNLOCK THIS DOOR, YOU LITTLE NERD!''' ''[pounding on the door]'' '''IF YOU DON'T UNLOCK THIS DOOR...!'''
:''[Sister vows that Brother can have some time in the bathroom if she leaves any time for him. But --forgetting that she is taking a long time in the bathroom and isn't sure whether she should let Brother have some time in the bathroom-- brushes her teeth.  While she washes her face, combs her fur, and brushes her teeth, she sings a classic children's song called [[w:Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush|The Mulberry Bush]]. Then the scene cuts to Sister Bear who is singing [[w:Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush|The Mulberry Bush]] while brushing her teeth.]''
:'''Sister Bear''': [sings] ''♪ This is the way we brush our teeth,''
:''Brush our teeth,'' 
:''Brush our teeth,''
:''[Brother pauses banging and listens to Sister singing.]'' 
:'''Brother Bear''': ''[in between outbursts]'' She's singing! 
:'''Sister Bear''': [singing] ''♪This is the way we brush our teeth,'' 
:''On a cold and frosty morning.♪''  
:''[She sings the song again. And this time, while brushing her teeth.]''
:'''Sister Bear''': ''[muffled singing because she is brushing her teeth]'' ''♪This is the way we brush our teeth,'' 
:''Brush our teeth,'' 
:''Brush our teeth.'' 
:''This is the way we brush our teeth,'' 
:''On a cold and frosty morning.♪''
:''[The scene cuts back to Brother.]'' 
:'''Brother Bear''': ''[resumes outbursts]'' '''IF YOU DON'T LET ME IN THERE, YOU LITTLE TWIT, I'M GOING TO FLATEN YOU OUT AND ROLL YOU UP LIKE A...''' ''[stops pounding]'' '''[[w:carpet|CARPET]]!'''
:'''Papa Bear''': ''[angrily comes out of the bedroom]'' Brother Bear!
:'''Brother Bear''': ''[realizes]'' Hi, Papa.
:'''Papa Bear''': What in the name of Bear Country is going on here?! 
:'''Brother Bear''': Well, you see, Papa...
:'''Papa Bear''': What possible excuse could you have for banging on doors and calling your sister names?
:'''Brother Bear''': Well, see, she put her feet in my face, then when I asked her not to, she called me &quot;Grouchpuss&quot;. She got into the bathroom before me and locked the door. Then when I ask her to come out, she started to sing and…
:'''Papa Bear''': ''[cuts him off]'' None of which is any kind of excuse for pounding on doors and calling names!
:'''Sister Bear''': ''[comes out of the bathroom]'' Good morning, Papa. It certainly is a lovely day.
:'''Papa Bear''': Good morning, Sweetie. ''[to Brother]'' Now why can't you be sweet and cooperate like your sister?
:'''Brother Bear''': ''[turns red with anger, growls furiously and angrily slams the door]'' '''GRRR! I'M NOT GONNA SPEAK TO HER AGAIN FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE!!!'''
:'''Sister Bear''': You got a deal, Buster. ''[Brother Bear slams the door furiously]'' Papa, dear, would you ask that person beside you for the honey?
:'''Mama Bear''': Hmm...
:'''Papa Bear''': Not speaking.
:'''Brother Bear''': Mama, dear, would you ask that person beside you for the butter?
:'''Mama Bear''': Ohh! Ohh!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Sister Bear''': Well, I like that. Some unauthorized person has been using my modeling clay. 
:''[Sister steals back her clay and furiously squishes the clay dinosaurs, turns them into a lump, and angrily rolls it into a ball.]''
:'''Brother Bear''': It took me a week to make those! ''[angrily goes to the jigsaw puzzle]'' Well, what about my jigsaw puzzle that some little twerp has been putting together?! 
:''[As echoed from the book, Sister stole back her clay --which Brother made into clay dinosaurs-- and rolled them up into one big lump. Brother --on the other hand-- stole back his toy trucks and planes and hid them in a high closet shelf. And Sister could not reach them. Upon continuation, Brother angrily knocks down the puzzle pieces, everything tumbling down the floor.]''
:'''Sister Bear''': You no-good rat! I've been working on that puzzle for two weeks!
:'''Brother Bear''': What about my clay dinosaurs?! I was working on them for a school project!
:'''Sister Bear''': ''[walking to him]'' Oh, yeah?! Well, my clay is my clay and you have absolutely no right!
:'''Brother Bear''': I have every right! You're always using my stuff: my skateboard, my hockey stick, my...
:'''Sister Bear''': Never mind about your stuff, you no-good sword head!
:'''Brother Bear''': You're the sword head, you little silly nit-wit! Why I oughta!
:'''Sister Bear''': '''You just shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!'''
:'''Brother Bear''': '''WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?!'''
:'''Papa Bear''': '''What in the world is going on up there?! I want that shouting stopped this instant! UNDERSTAND?!'''
:'''Sister Bear''': It's all his fault! He called me names!
:'''Brother Bear''': All ''my'' fault?! It's all ''her'' fault!
:'''Papa Bear''': ''[in frustration]'' '''I don't care whose fault it is!''' ''[Brother and Sister go down the stairs]'' '''I want this fighting and bickering stopped! Stop...''' ''[leaning to them]'' '''...you hear?!''' ''[Papa, Brother, and Sister Bear then argue at each other]'' '''WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS?! FAMILY FEUD?! I WANT THE NOISE STOPPED! STOP, YOU HEAR?!''' 
:''[Mama whistles to stop them.]''
:'''Sister Bear''': I didn't know you whistle that loud, Mama.
:'''Mama Bear''': Well, I can. And I can also tell you that I've had quite enough of this foolish fighting. Why, I don't think you two even remember what you're fighting about. 
:''[Mama picks up the cubs, sits down on her armchair, and hugs Brother and Sister on her lap.]''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Regarding to Brother's clay dinosaurs...!]''
:'''Sister Bear''': ''[from the flashback]'' '''YOUR DINOSAURS, THEY LOOK STUPID ANYWAY!'''
:''[Cut to reality.]''
:'''Sister Bear''': ''[apologizes to Brother for wrecking his clay dinosaurs]'' I am sorry that I ruined your dinosaurs. I can help you make new ones if you like.
:'''Brother Bear''': ''[smiles]'' Well? Okay. 
:''[Sister apologizes to Brother for wrecking his clay dinosaurs. Even though she still wrecked them and they are still broken, Brother forgives her anyway. That is, even though it was on purpose and even though she still did it. But when Sister says she will help him build new clay dinosaurs, Brother forgives her and accepts her apology.]''

===The Bigpaw Problem===

===Get Stage Fright===

===Go Bonkers over Honkers===

===The Great Honey Pipeline===

===The Great Grizzly Comet===

===The Sure-Fire Bait===

===The Cat's Meow===

===The Trouble with Friends===
:''[Sister and Lizzy pretend that they are playing pretend school. That is, pretend first grade. As Lizzy --who pretends to be the first grade teacher-- teaches the alphabet to the pretend preschool class, the pretend school pointer Lizzy has is revealed to be a stick or twig. Echoed from the book, Lizzy she had a pointer stick in one hand and a piece of chalk in the other.]''
:'''Lizzy''': Please be seated Sister. It's time for your lessons. First, I'm going to teach you the [[w:alphabet|alphabet]]. The first letter of the [[w:alphabet|alphabet]] is &quot;A&quot;. 
:''[Lizzy --with the piece of chalk in the right hand-- writes a capital &quot;A&quot; on the pretend chalk board. That is, as she --in the left hand-- holds the pointer stick. Before she can ask the class if any of them know what the second letter of the alphabet is, Sister --pretending to be one of her &quot;pretend students&quot;-- interrupts Lizzy --who is the &quot;pretend teacher&quot;-- wants to have the pointer and be the teacher.]'' 
:'''Sister Bear''': Now just a minute! Who said you were going to be the teacher?! When I play school, I'm the teacher! And not only that! I already know the alphabet!
:'''Lizzy''': ''[to Sister]'' Sister Bear, if you don't sit down this minute, I'm going to keep you after school!
:'''Sister Bear''': Is that so? ''[poking with her finger on Lizzy's belly]'' Well, if you don't give me that pointer, I'm going to keep you after school!
:'''Lizzy''': '''OH NO YOU'RE NOT!'''
:'''Sister Bear''': '''OH YES, I AM!''' 
:''[Sister grabs the pointer from Lizzy. They both wrestle for the pointer stick. All of a sudden, the stick snaps in half. Then the scene turns to Sister and Lizzy. And they each have a half of the stick --as Sister had broken it.]''
:'''Lizzy''': '''NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID! YOU BROKE MY POINTER! (AND IT IS TOTALED!)'''
:''[That is what Lizzy says to Sister after Sister broke and totaled her pointer. In fact, Sister broke --and totaled-- it beyond repair.]''
:'''Sister Bear''': '''HERE! KEEP YOUR OLD POINTER!
:''[Sister throws the pointer stick down in front of Lizzy's feet.]'' 
:'''Sister Bear''': '''I'M NEVER GOING TO PLAY WITH YOU AGAIN!'''
:'''Lizzy''': '''NEVER IS TOO SHORT FOR ME!'''
:'''Sister Bear''': '''GOOD! THEN I AM GOING TO TAKE MY DOLLS AND GO HOME!'''
:'''Lizzy''': Sister's mad, and I'm glad!
:'''Sister Bear''': Lizzy-Lizzy in a tizzy!
:'''Lizzy''': Sister's mad, and I'm glad!
:'''Sister Bear''': Lizzy-Lizzy in a tizzy!
:'''Mama Bear''': Back so soon?
:'''Sister Bear''': I'm never going to play with that Lizzy Bruin again! She's much too braggy and bossy!

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:''[Sister and Lizzy make up for the fight yesterday.]''
:'''Lizzy''': ''[to Sister]'' Here's your doll back. You can be the teacher as many times as you want.
:'''Sister''': ''[to Lizzy for a better idea]'' Or we can take turns.
:''[But even though Sister still broke and totaled Lizzy's pointer stick, she and Lizzy bury the hatchet. Sister's idea does sound great though. Her idea is taking turns being the kindergarten/first grade teacher.]''

===The Coughing Catfish===

===The Substitute Teacher===

===The Mansion Mystery===

===Bust a Ghost===

===The Ice Monster===

===The Crystal Ball Caper===

===The Raid on Fort Grizzly===

===The Forbidden Cave===

===The Hot Air Election===

===Life with Papa===

===Save the Farm===

==Voice cast==
* [[w:Lisa Vischer|Lisa Vischer]] as Mama Bear, Gran, Teacher Jane, Officer Marguerite, Queen Nectar and additional voices
* [[w:Willie Rushton|William Rushton]] as Papa Q. Bear, Mayor Honeypot, Too-Tall, Bigpaw, Jake, Henchweasels and additional voices
* [[w:Mark Rendall|Mark Rendall]] as Brother Bear
*[[w:Nancy Cartwright|Nancy Cartwright]] as Sister Bear
*Mike Myers as Cousin Freddy
* [[w:Mike Mulloy|Mike Mulloy]] as Raffish Ralph, Professor Actual Factual, Weasel McGreed, Gramps, Farmer Ben, Henchweasels, Snuff the Dog and additional voices
* [[w:Mike Yarmush|Michael Yarmush]], [[w:Aimee Castle|Aimee Castle]],Sonja Ball, [[w:Tress MacNeille|Tress MacNeille]] and [[w:Paul Angelis|Paul Angelis]] as additional voices

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Berenstain Bears (1985 TV series), The}}
[[Category:Australian animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Australian children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:Australian children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:Australian preschool education TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:CBS animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about bears]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about families]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about siblings]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about children]]
[[Category:Television series by Hanna-Barbera]]</text>
      <sha1>9un4pze3h4tdzt58s8p4pmj47dc603n</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Angelina Ballerina (TV series)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>223385</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944019</id>
      <parentid>3924928</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T19:34:43Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944019</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="29123" sha1="qvyanxsgi96p312y8kesctc1zc6k4jq" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Angelina Ballerina (TV series)|Angelina Ballerina]]''''', also referred to as '''''Angelina''''' for short, is a British animated children's television series, based on the ''[[w:Angelina Ballerina|Angelina Ballerina]]'' series of children's books by author [[w:Katharine Holabird|Katharine Holabird]] and illustrator [[w:Helen Craig|Helen Craig]]. The series is about Angelina Mouseling, a young mouse who loves to dance ballet, and her family and classmates. [[w:Finty Williams|Finty Williams]] performed the voice of Angelina, and her real-life mother [[w:Judi Dench|Judi Dench]] performed the voice of Miss Lilly, her old ballet teacher on the old Henson International Television Entertainment.

==Series 1 (2001-2002)==
===Angelina in the Wings / Arthur the Butterfly [1.1]===
:'''

===Angelina at the Fair / The Ballet Tickets [1.3]===
:'''Angelina''': Just think, Alice, in exactly one hour, ''[takes her ballet shoes off]'' you and I will be riding on the fastest, scariest roller coaster ride in all of Mouseland!
:'''Alice''': ''[eagerly; while trying to take her ballet shoes off]'' &lt;big&gt;'''I BET IT'S GOT A HUNDRED LOOPS!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Angelina''': ''[anticipated]'' &lt;big&gt;'''I BET IT'S GOT A THOUSAND LOOPS!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Alice''': ''[laughs]'' &lt;big&gt;'''I BET IT'S GOT A MILLION LOOPS!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[They both laugh until Angelina notices Alice's ballet shoes are all tangled up]''
:'''Angelina''': Alice, I think you've got a bit loopy yourself.
:'''Alice''': Oops!
:'''Angelina''': ''[to William, as she gives him her bag]'' Here, William, hold this, will you?
:'''Alice''': ''[to William, as she also giving him her bag]'' And this?
:'''Angelina''': Here, let me. ''[unties Alice's ballet shoes]''
:''[Alice places her ballet shoes in her bag as she follows Angelina]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[to William]'' Hurry up, William! Or we'll be late for the fair!
:''[William grunts as he straightens the bags on his shoulders and follows along]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Angelina, Alice, William and Henry are waiting in line to go on the Ferris wheel]''
:'''Henry''': ''[gasps; then to Angelina about the Ferris wheel]'' But I told you, I don't like big wheels.
:'''Angelina''': Oh, don't worry, Henry. They're not at all scary.
:'''William''': Of course they're not.
:'''Alice''': ''[while eating a candy apple]'' In fact, it's just like riding a bicycle.
:'''Henry''': But I can't ride a bicycle.
:'''Angelina''': Trust me, Henry, you're going to love it!
:''[Later, the scene cuts to where Angelina, Alice, William and Henry are riding on the Ferris wheel]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[eagerly]'' &lt;big&gt;'''OH HENRY, ISN'T THIS FUN?!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Henry''': ''[crying]'' &lt;big&gt;'''I WANT TO GET OFF!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Angelina groans in frustration]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[The scene cuts to where Angelina, Alice and William are riding on the Loop the Loop roller coaster as it goes up the hill and then zooms down the track as they both laugh and scream at the same time until it comes to a stop and the attendant walks over to them]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[to the attendant]'' Can we go again?
:'''Alice and Angelina''': &lt;big&gt;'''PLEASE?!'''&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Priscilla and Penelope --who bought the last tickets for &quot;The Ballet&quot;-- are seen getting on the bus, humming, as they walk by Angelina and Alice]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[devastated; and about the Pinkpaws twins Priscilla and Penelope]'' I can't believe those horrible twins got the very last tickets!
:'''Priscilla''': ''[mockingly]'' Oh, poor Angelina.
:'''Penelope''': ''[teasingly]'' Somebody should buy her an alarm clock.
:''[Priscilla and Penelope both start laughing]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[devastated]'' Those tickets should be ours, Alice. We have to find some way to get them!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Penelope''': ''[smirking]'' Forget it, Angelina! We are not going to trade our tickets for anything! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[When Angelina and Alice arrived at the Theatre Royal, they're both walking up the steps while Angelina carries her suitcase. They both also try a first attempt to see the ballet]''
:'''Alice''': I still don't see why Mimi and Mikel Whiskersev would give us tickets.
:'''Angelina''': Because we're Miss Lilly's star pupils, of course.
:'''Alice''': ''[gasps; sadly]'' I'm not a star pupil.
:''[Angelina enters the Theatre Royal and looks around with Alice following her behind, they quietly walk over to the door. Angelina and Alice try to sneak into the theater, but the ticket vendor catches them. He sees them and wants to know where they're going]''
:'''Ticket Vendor''': ''[off-screen; to Angelina and Alice]'' And where do you think you're going?
:''[Angelina and Alice nervously chuckle and walk away]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Angelina and Alice try a second attempt to see the ballet. They both try by dressing up as Ms. Lilly. The ticket vendor sees this, clears his throat, and again wants to know where Angelina and Alice are going]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[to the ticket vendor; in a heavy accent]'' I am Ms. Lilly. I have come to see my friends, Mimi and Mikel Whiskersev.
:'''Ticket Vendor''': ''[knows that Angelina and Alice are trying to trick him]'' I see.
:''[Angelina and Alice continue giggling until they trip over and her velvet cloak rips. But in another attempt to see the ballet, they both try to trick the ticket vendor that they are Mimi and Mikel Whiskersev by dressing up in a costume as them from the ballet]''
:'''Angelina and Alice''': ''[groaning in disappointment]'' Oh!
:'''Ticket Vendor''': ''[off-screen]'' Well...! ''[chuckles]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Oh, come here. ''[hugs Angelina]'' You tried your best. 
:'''Angelina''': ''[crying]'' Next time (if any other show has no tickets left), I'm going to camp outside the theater all night!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Yes, darling. Of course you are.
:'''Angelina''': ''[crying]'' Maybe all week if I have to!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': I know. ''[hugs Angelina again]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': ''[cheerfully]'' Hello!
:'''Angelina''': ''[depressed; in between sobs]'' Hello, Dad...!
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': ''[sits down at the table next to Angelina]'' What's the sad face for?
:'''Angelina''': ''[crying]'' The ballet's on tonight and I'm not going. There are no tickets left.
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': ''[pulls out the tickets from his coat pocket]'' Are you sure? Not even one?
:''[Although Angelina --at first-- thought her &quot;plan&quot; had been cancelled, it turns out that Mr. Mouseling had bought the tickets earlier and forgot to give them to Angelina and her friend Alice before the Pinkpaws twins bought the last tickets.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[gasps, as she sees the tickets]'' But, but, but...! ''[enthusiastically, as she hugs her father]'' Oh!
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': ''[chuckles, as he hugs her back]'' Best close tonight, I think. I've got a job for you to do later.
:'''Angelina''': ''[sadly]'' Oh, but my velvet cloak's torn.
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[off-screen]'' Not anymore.
:''[Angelina gasps as she sees her velvet cloak all fixed and sewed]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[happily]'' Oh, thanks, Mom!
:''[Mrs. Mouseling puts the velvet cloak on Angelina and twirls around]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': I'll phone Alice's mother and tell them you're on your way.

===Midnight Muddle / Miss Lilly is Leaving [1.4]===
:''[That night, Angelina and Alice are seen inside their tent]''
:'''Angelina''': And then, just as Old Red Whiskers thought he was safe, a great big tabby-cat leapt out and whipped off his tail!
:''[Alice gets scared and covers herself up with a sleeping bag]''
:'''Angelina''': And ever since that terrible night, Old Red Whiskers stalks these gardens in search of fresh cheese and his missing tail...
:''[Alice whimpers too much and hides inside a sleeping bag]''
:'''Angelina''': Oh, Alice. It's just a story, there's no such thing as ghosts. ''[suddenly hears ghostly sounds outside]''
:'''Alice''': ''[gasps; fearfully]'' &lt;big&gt;'''THEN WHAT'S MAKING THAT NOISE?!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Angelina''': ''[suspiciously]'' I don't know. ''[grabs the lantern, as she still continues to hear ghostly sounds]'' But I'm going to find out.
:'''Alice''': &lt;big&gt;'''OH!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''[gets out of her sleeping bag and runs after Angelina]'' &lt;big&gt;'''WAIT FOR ME!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Angelina and Alice come out from their tent as Alice shudders. Angelina walks over and peeks over the garden shed]''
:'''Angelina''': There's nothing there.
:''[Alice squeals fearfully and gets Angelina's attention]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[jumps up; to Alice]'' What now, Alice?
:''[Alice points to the shadow on the ground as Angelina notices and walks over to the garden fork with a hat on top that's making the shadow]''
:'''Angelina''': It's only a garden fork. You're such a scaredy-mouse! ''[hears a ghostly wail in the distance]'' He's next door.
:'''Alice''': You can't go in there. Remember what Mrs. Hodgepodge said.
:'''Angelina''': &lt;big&gt;'''OH, ALICE! JUST STAY HERE!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Alice whimpers as Angelina walks off to Mrs. Hodgepodge's garden while hearing the ghostly wails in the distance until she walks backwards into a white sheet]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[gasping]'' &lt;big&gt;'''HELP! GET OFF!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''[gasping]'' &lt;big&gt;'''LEAVE ME ALONE!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Angelina gets the white sheet off and falls on the ground, next to Mrs. Hodgepodge's cauliflower and she steps on it by accident while running. Alice sees Angelina running towards her and they both scream and crash into each other and grunt, they both run off, screaming, as the camera zooms into the lantern that Angelina left, turning off by itself]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Sammy''': Whoopee! This is fun! Ha ha ha! Oh! Oh! Aah! Ow! Ow! Uhh.
:'''Mrs. Hodgepodge''': Aah! Oh, my prize-winning cauliflower! It's ruined.
:'''Sammy''': Ow! Oh.
:'''Mrs. Hodgepodge''': You nasty little monster. That's taken me four months to grow!
:'''Sammy''': But it wasn't me.
:'''Mrs. Hodgepodge''': I'll be speaking to your parents, Sammy Watts. You won't be riding your bike for weeks!

===Miss Lilly Comes to Dinner / Lucky Penny [1.5]===
:''[At Miss Lilly's dance studio, the mouselings are dancing at the barre]''
:'''Angelina''': And Mom's made a cheese pie!
:'''Alice''': What are you going to wear tonight?
:'''Miss Lilly''': ''[off-screen]'' Good morning, sorry I'm a little late, ''[opens the doors]'' my darlings. I had such a wonderful evening at the Theatre Royal! ''[walks over to Flora]'' Hey, come along, Flora. Pay attention to your position, dear. ''[walks by the mouselings]'' It is a charity gala to raise money for Dacovia, my beautiful homeland. ''[to William]'' Oh, good. Tighten the leg, William. ''[to the mouselings]'' It brought back so many, many memories. ''[turns to Priscilla]'' Excellent, Priscilla. Keep the knee out.
:''[The phone rings in the background]''
:'''Miss Lilly''': ''[walks away from the mouselings]'' Keep going, darlings! Keep going!

===Two Mice In A Boat / The Costume Ball [1.7]===
:'''Angelina''': Please, Mom? I know everyone going! Miss Lilly, Mr. and Mrs. Nimbletoes and you know I love dancing! I can dance as well as anybody!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Oh, Angelina, honestly...
:'''Angelina''': Oh! That's it! If you're going as a queen, and Dad's going as a king, it makes sense that I go as a princess!
:''[Mrs. Mouseling sighs]''
:'''Angelina''': After all, what's a king and queen without their princess? I promise to be good, I won't spill anything. You won't even know I'm there. ''[begging]'' Please?
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[sighs]'' I'm sorry, Angelina. The costume ball is for grownups only, not little mouselings.
:'''Angelina''': ''[gasps, agitated]'' But, Mom, I grew heaps last year!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[firmly]'' Angelina, I said no.
:'''Angelina''': ''[stammers angrily, as she drops the basket]'' Oh, it's, it's not fair! ''[runs into the house]'' It's just not fair!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Oh, Angelina, ''[calling]'' why don't you call Alice? She could come over and stay the night!
:''[The sound of the door is heard shut off-screen. Mrs. Mouseling then shakes her head]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': Oh, Mom! Not Mrs. Hodgepodge! Last time she stayed, she kept me awake all night with her horrible snoring!
:'''Alice''': I hope she doesn't bring her cabbage jelly.
:''[Mrs. Mouseling sighs as Mr. Mouseling grunts and he is seen dressed up as a bumblebee]''
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': ''[to Mrs. Mouseling]'' Um, could you give me a hand with my antenna, dear? I-It won't stand up straight. Uh, mmm, ''[turns to Angelina and Alice and then to Mrs. Mouseling]'' a bit of a mix up at the costume shop.
:''[Angelina and Alice both giggle as Mrs. Mouseling laughs and approaches over to him]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Never mind. I can be your queen bee.
:''[Angelina and Alice both laugh again]''
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': Queen bee, yes, very good.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': Come on, Alice.
:'''Alice''': Come on, where?
:'''Angelina''': To the costume ball, of course.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Mr. Mouseling and Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[shocked, in unison]'' &lt;big&gt;'''ANGELINA...?!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Mr. Nimbletoes and Mrs. Nimbletoes''': ''[shocked, in unison]'' &lt;big&gt;'''ALICE...?!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Mrs. Hodgepodge''': ''[furiously]'' There they are, those, those naughty little runaways!
:''[Angelina starts to cry as she and Alice stare at each other, knowing they've been busted. The next morning, Angelina is seen scrubbing the floor while Alice mops the floor as a punishment]''
:'''Alice''': My back is aching! ''[sighs]'' Oh, this is such hard work!
:'''Angelina''': ''[sighs]'' I'm so tired! Perhaps going to the ball wasn't such a good idea.

===Angelina's Surprise / The Rose Fairy Princess [1.10]===
:'''Miss Lilly''': One, two, three, two, two, Angelina, two, three. Two, two, three...
:''[The mouselings continue dancing until Priscilla and Penelope leap past Angelina and she spins around as she exclaims while trying to keep her balance. Alice twirls her way around]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[agitated; and about the Pinkpaws twins Priscilla and Penelope]'' Those twins are too much.
:'''Alice''': ''[straightens Angelina's pink tutu]'' Don't worry, Angelina. You'll be the best rose fairy princess in all of Mouseland.
:'''Angelina''': ''[smiling; to Alice]'' Thanks.
:''[Angelina and Alice hug, the camera zooms into Angelina's untied ballet shoe]''
:'''Priscilla''': ''[noticing Angelina's ballet shoe is untied]'' Oh, your...!
:'''Penelope''': ''[covering Priscilla's mouth]'' &lt;big&gt;'''SHHHH!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Miss Lilly''': ''[off-screen]'' And again!
:''[Angelina twirls around until she suddenly trips on her untied ballet shoe, topples down to the floor and groans in pain just as Priscilla and Penelope walk over to her]''
:'''Priscilla''': Never mind, Angelina.
:'''Penelope''': After all, you can always join the chorus of dancing flowers.

===Alice's Present / No Match for Angelina [1.11]===
:''[Angelina and Alice are seen sitting next to each other on the bench when Angelina opens up a present, revealing a bag]''
:'''Angelina''': Oh, Alice! It's beautiful!
:'''Alice''': I-I made it myself. You can put all your gym things in it.
:'''Angelina''': Thank you! ''[hugs her]'' Thank you!
:'''Priscilla''': Oh, I didn't know it was your birthday, Angelina.
:'''Penelope''': ''[teasingly]'' Oh-no, and we forgot to buy you a present.
:'''Angelina''': It's not my birthday.
:'''Alice''': Best friends can give each other presents anytime.
:'''Angelina''': ''[puts her bag down on the bench]'' Come on, Alice, it's time for gym!
:'''Mouselings''': ''[chattering, as they follow Angelina and Alice]'' It's time for gym!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': ''[sees that Henry is playing with the hose]'' What are you doing, Henry?! ''[walks angrily to Henry]'' Henry! ''[taking the hose from Henry]''
:'''Henry''': Sorry.
:'''Angelina''': ''[angrily; to William]'' You see William, I don't need friends like... ''[aiming the hose at Alice which water was hitting her again]'' ...Alice!

===Angelina's Valentine's / The Royal Banquet [1.12]===
( ''slurping'' )

:'''Angelina''': I've made Valentine cards for my favorite people. Alice, Henry, Mom, Dad... and this one is for Miss Lilly. &quot;Roses are red, volets are blue. To you, Miss Lilly, my heart will be true.&quot;

===The Gymnastics Championship / Angelina's Baby Sister [1.13]===

:''[All of the chocolate ice cream is sold out.]''
:'''Mrs. Thimble''': ''[to Angelina]'' I am sorry. I just sold the last three scoops of chocolate ice cream.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Angelina comes back home and enters her mother's room]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[sees Polly for the first time]'' Let me see her! ''[sees Polly wrapped up in a blanket]'' Oh, she's so beautiful! Oh, look at her tiny toes! I can't wait to bring her to ballet lessons and I can take her to school and she can even share my bedroom.
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': Well, maybe not quite yet.
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[chuckles]'' We're calling her Polly.
:'''Angelina''': Polly? Oh, that's just perfect for her!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Alice and her mother, Mrs. Nimbletoes arrives at Angelina's house]''
:'''Alice''': Oh, hello! How's the baby?
:'''Angelina''': She's crying.
:'''Mrs. Nimbletoes''': Come on, girls, we're going to be late.
:'''Angelina''': But Mom and Dad are taking me. ''[to Mr. Mouseling and Mrs. Mouseling]'' Aren't you?
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': Ah, yes, um, Angelina, I was meaning to tell you your mother is very tired. I need to look after her.
:'''Angelina''': But it's the end of year's show. You always come!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': I'm sorry, darling, but... ''[gently pats Polly's back]''
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': I'll try to get there later for the prize-giving.
:'''Angelina''': ''[scoffs in frustration]'' Bother!
:'''Alice''': Aren't you happy?
:'''Angelina''': ''[unhappily]'' Yes, but ''why'' did the baby have to come today?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Alice''': How's Polly?
:'''William''': Is she walking yet? Can she say her name?
:'''Angelina''': ''[scoffs]'' She can't do anything except cry. She kept me awake all night. ''[falls off the bench]''
:'''Alice''': Isn't that what babies always do? ''[giggles]''
:'''Angelina''': Oh, I'm starving. Dad burnt everything this morning, except the plate.
:''[Angelina opens her lunch box and gasps when she sees Polly's baby bottle in it, then she scoffs]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[angrily]'' That's it, I've had enough! ''[storms off]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Polly rolls over as the prize starts rolling over on the bed when it suddenly falls off and lands on the floor with a crash]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[gasps]'' What was that?
:''[Polly cries as Angelina walks over to the other side of the bed and Polly starts rolling over again]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[horrified]'' Oh, Polly! How could you?!
:''[Mrs. Mouseling opens the door and sees Polly is about to fall and successfully catches her on time before she hit the floor]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[scolding Angelina]'' '''I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO KEEP AN EYE ON HER!''' She nearly fell off the bed!
:'''Angelina''': ''[tearfully, holds her broken prize]'' She broke my prize!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[while trying to calm Polly down]'' There, there, it's alright, Polly.
:'''Angelina''': ''[starts crying]'' You just don't care about me anymore, do you? It's all Polly, Polly, Polly!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[In the living room, Mrs. Mouseling is seen rocking Polly to sleep, humming silently while Mr. Mouseling reads the newspaper]''
:'''Grandma and Grandpa''': ''[off-screen, in unison]'' We're here! ''[they enter the living room]''
:'''Angelina''': And Miss Lilly gave it to me for being the most promising dancer of the year.
:'''Grandpa''': Where is she?
:'''Angelina''': In the suitcase. I'll get her out where you can glue her back together.
:'''Grandpa''': ''[laughs]'' No, I meant where's Polly.
:'''Angelina''': ''[furiously]'' '''OH! POLLY, POLLY, POLLY!! I'M SICK OF POLLY!!!''' ''[runs upstairs]''
:'''Mr. and Mrs. Mouseling''': Shhhhh!
:''[Angelina storms up to her room and closes the door, sobbing in frustration]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[lamenting]'' I've changed my mind! I don't want a sister! If there was a baby shop, I'd ask for my money back! ''[continues weeping]''
:''[As everyone continues to adore Polly, the sound of crashing is heard upstairs]''
:'''Grandma''': Whatever is going on?
:''[Polly awakens and starts crying. At the same time, Angelina throws a book and picks up a small green bear and then throws it]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[shrieking]'' Rrrrrrraaaaaaaaahhh!!!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Oh, dear...
:''[Mrs. Mouseling comes into Angelina's room and finds Angelina weeping so hard on her bed]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Angelina! What's the matter?
:'''Angelina''': ''[sobbing, face buried in her pillow]'' You don't care about me anymore.
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[gently]'' Aww, of course I do! ''[Sits on her bed]'' I love you just as much as ever.
:'''Angelina''': ''[yet weeping, face buried in her pillow]'' No, you don't. All you care about is Polly.
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[gently]'' Oh, but that's not true. I love both of you.
:''[Mrs. Mouseling consoles Angelina from her meltdown]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[soothingly and petting Angelina's fur]'' Oh, there, there. ''[pets Angelina on the back]'' I know it's been hard. You'll always be special to me, Angelina. You were my very first baby.

==Series 2 (2003)==
===The Old Oak Tree / Lights, Camera, Action! [2.2]===
:''[Mr. Maurice Mouseling, Ms. Lilly, Mrs. Hodgepodge, Mrs. Pinkpaws, and Dr. Tuttle are having a meeting about the oak tree in the mouselings's playground.]''
:'''Mrs. Pinkpaws''': &lt;big&gt;'''I SAY, &quot;IT MUST BE CUT DOWN IMMEDIATELY!&quot; AFTER ALL, MY DARLING (PRISCILLA) LITERALLY BROKE HER ARM! WE DO NOT WANT ANYONE ELSE GETTING HURT! DO WE!?'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Mrs. Hodgepodge''': ''[to Mrs. Pinkpaws]'' But that tree is over 1,000 years old! 
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': Yes, it is a symbol of village life. Generations of village mouselings have played in it. And they have carved their initials on it. 
:'''Mrs. Pinkpaws''': ''[to Mr. Mouseling]'' Well, I am surprised at you, Maurice! As proprietor of the Mouseling Gazette, you must be more responsible about public safety!
:'''Ms. Lilly''': Can I make a suggestion? Why don't we build a fence around that old oak tree. Then the tree is kept safe. And the little mouselings are kept out of harm's way.
:''[Mrs. Pinkpaws turns to Ms. Lilly.]''
:'''Mrs. Pinkpaws''': ''[to Ms. Lilly]'' Ms. Lilly? You know perfectly well that they just climb over it! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': ''[dreamily]'' Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful to be in a movie? Angelina Mouseling: Famous star and prima ballerina! Oh, I can see my name in lights!
:'''Alice''': ''[sees a sign]'' Hey, look at this, Angelina!
:'''William''': ''[reading the sign]'' &quot;Calling all young movie makers! Enter our competition and your movie could be shown at this year's Film Festival!&quot;!
:'''Alice''': Oh, I'd love to be in a movie!
:'''Angelina''': You will be, Alice! We'll enter the competition! I'll play this beautiful, young ballerina who, who breaks her tail and is told she'll never dance again. But, she overcomes her injury.
:'''Angelina, Alice and William''': And becomes the greatest dancer ever!
:'''Angelina''': ''[ecstatically]'' Yes!
:''[Henry giggles]''
:'''Alice''': But, Angelina-
:'''Angelina''': I, oh, I mean, we could make the best movie that Mouseland's ever seen! We're bound to win!
:'''Alice''': There's just one problem, we haven't got a camera.
:'''Henry''': Dr. Tuttle's got one.
:'''Angelina''': ''[gasps]'' You're right, Henry! He has! Come on! We're going to make a movie! ''[dances out of the theater]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[The scene cuts to the cedar tree where Angelina is seen trying to put on her ballet costume]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[struggles]'' Henry? Where's Henry?
:'''Alice''': Angelina, Thomasina Tuttle was a poor farmer's daughter and I'm sure she didn't do the dirty farm work, wearing a tutu.
:'''Angelina''': ''[optimistically]'' Oh, don't worry, Alice! I've no intention of getting dirty. How are you doing with the props?
:'''Alice''': Well, I've got the rope and the broom. Now all we need is a tree stump.
:'''Henry''': ''[pointing, while carrying the camera]'' There's one! There's one!
:'''Alice''': And something to be the big hole.
:'''Angelina''': ''[putting her ballet shoes on]'' What big hole?
:'''Alice''': The one Thomasina fell down! ''[reading]'' &quot;She laid there for ages until she-&quot;
:'''Angelina''': ''[interrupting]'' Alice, I'm not spending the whole movie stuck in a dirty, old hole. ''[takes her crown out from her bag]''
:'''Alice''': But that's what happens in the true-
:'''Angelina''': ''[interrupting]'' We'll do my story about the young ballerina who breaks her tail. Sad stories are always the best. Trust me, Alice. ''[puts her royal cape on]'' Do it my way and we'll have the audience in tears!
:'''Alice''': ''[off-screen]'' You bet.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[after William saves Angelina who was trapped in a big hole]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[to William]'' I had no idea you were so brave, William!
:'''William''': Nor did I!
:'''Henry''': Oh!
:'''Dr. Tuttle''': ''[arrives at the scene]'' Is this my scene?
:'''Alice''': ''[calling]'' Over here, doctor! Quick!
:''[Dr. Tuttle runs over to Angelina]''
:'''Dr. Tuttle''': ''[dramatically]'' Oh, my dear, Thomasina! Your poor arm! You must be in such pain!
:'''Angelina''': ''[painfully]'' It's Angelina, Dr. Tuttle, and it's my leg. ''[sobs]'' Ow!

===The Silver Locket / Mouse of the Year [2.4]===
:''[Angelina got on her dress, looking at her reflection in the mirror with Alice in her dress on was shown holding a necklace]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[unhappily]'' Oh. Polly's always a nuisance. ''[sees Alice with her necklace in the mirror then turns around in surprise]'' Oh, Alice. You've got a new necklace.
:'''Alice''': ''[giggles]'' Mom and Dad gave it to me.
:'''Angelina''': ''[in surprise]'' Oh! ''[gasps]'' My mom's got some sparkly necklaces. I'll see if I can borrow one! ''[runs out of her bedroom]''
:''[Alice tests her new necklace out]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[enters her parents' bedroom]'' Um, Mom, can I borrow a necklace for the party?
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': ''[off-screen]'' Matilda! I'm going to be late for work!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[gasps; calling]'' Coming! ''[to Angelina]'' Don't forget to give Polly her bottle. ''[leaves the bedroom]'' Now have a lovely time!
:''[Angelina sighs then goes to her mom's necklace box and takes out her mom's locket]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[At Miss Lilly's party, Ms. Quaver is playing the piano, while everyone is seen chatting away, having a fun time]''
:'''Priscilla''': ''[sees the silver locket around Angelina's neck]'' Our mother has a much prettier locket than that.
:'''Penelope''': Her's is bigger and it has a diamond in the middle.
:'''Angelina''': Well, this one is very old and very precious. ''[to Alice]'' Come on, Alice. Let's dance.
:''[They both start dancing as Priscilla and Penelope look on in jealously]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[As the party ends, Miss Lilly is seen waving and saying goodbye to everyone as they leave, Angelina is seen strolling Polly in her stroller while Alice grabs one more treat from the snack table]''
:'''Alice''': Oh, oh, wait for me, Angelina!
:'''Miss Lilly''': Goodbye, darling. ''[gives Polly a kiss]''
:'''Angelina''': Thank you for a lovely party, Miss Lilly.
:'''Miss Lilly''': A pleasure, Angelina. So nice to have little Polly here too.
:''[Polly giggles happily]''
:'''Alice''': Thank you, Miss Lilly. ''[to Angelina]'' Oh, Angelina?
:'''Angelina''': Hmm?
:'''Alice''': Where's your silver locket?
:'''Angelina''': ''[gasps loudly, as she puts her hands on her neck]'' It's gone! Oh-no!

==Voice cast==
* [[w:Finty Williams|Finty Williams]] as Angelina Mouseling, Aunt Lavender and Mrs. Hodgepodge
* [[w:Jo Wyatt|Jo Wyatt]] as Alice Nimbletoes, Penelope Pinkpaws, Sammy Watts and Henry Mouseling
* [[w:Judi Dench|Judi Dench]] as Miss Lilly
* [[w:Keith Wickham|Keith Wickham]] as William Longtail, Mr. Longtail, Mr. Mouseling, Grandpa Jeffrey and Dr. Tuttle
* Jonell Elliott as Priscilla Pinkpaws and Mrs. Mouseling
* [[w:Adrienne Posta|Adrienne Posta]] as Grandma Sophia
* [[w:Rob Rackstraw|Rob Rackstraw]] as Uncle Louis
* [[Derek Jacobi]] as Mr. Operatski

==See also==
* ''[[Angelina Ballerina: The Next Steps]]''
* ''[[Clifford the Big Red Dog (2019 TV series)]]''

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:2000s UK animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated drama TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:UK TV shows based on children's books]]
[[Category:UK TV shows with live action and animation]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:PBS Kids shows]]
[[Category:Treehouse TV shows]]
[[Category:TVOntario shows]]
[[Category:ITV shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about mice and rats]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about children]]</text>
      <sha1>qvyanxsgi96p312y8kesctc1zc6k4jq</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944023</id>
      <parentid>3944019</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T19:36:47Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* External links */</comment>
      <origin>3944023</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="29178" sha1="2chzvmu3uroqwwztwxlipxog6180bln" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Angelina Ballerina (TV series)|Angelina Ballerina]]''''', also referred to as '''''Angelina''''' for short, is a British animated children's television series, based on the ''[[w:Angelina Ballerina|Angelina Ballerina]]'' series of children's books by author [[w:Katharine Holabird|Katharine Holabird]] and illustrator [[w:Helen Craig|Helen Craig]]. The series is about Angelina Mouseling, a young mouse who loves to dance ballet, and her family and classmates. [[w:Finty Williams|Finty Williams]] performed the voice of Angelina, and her real-life mother [[w:Judi Dench|Judi Dench]] performed the voice of Miss Lilly, her old ballet teacher on the old Henson International Television Entertainment.

==Series 1 (2001-2002)==
===Angelina in the Wings / Arthur the Butterfly [1.1]===
:'''

===Angelina at the Fair / The Ballet Tickets [1.3]===
:'''Angelina''': Just think, Alice, in exactly one hour, ''[takes her ballet shoes off]'' you and I will be riding on the fastest, scariest roller coaster ride in all of Mouseland!
:'''Alice''': ''[eagerly; while trying to take her ballet shoes off]'' &lt;big&gt;'''I BET IT'S GOT A HUNDRED LOOPS!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Angelina''': ''[anticipated]'' &lt;big&gt;'''I BET IT'S GOT A THOUSAND LOOPS!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Alice''': ''[laughs]'' &lt;big&gt;'''I BET IT'S GOT A MILLION LOOPS!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[They both laugh until Angelina notices Alice's ballet shoes are all tangled up]''
:'''Angelina''': Alice, I think you've got a bit loopy yourself.
:'''Alice''': Oops!
:'''Angelina''': ''[to William, as she gives him her bag]'' Here, William, hold this, will you?
:'''Alice''': ''[to William, as she also giving him her bag]'' And this?
:'''Angelina''': Here, let me. ''[unties Alice's ballet shoes]''
:''[Alice places her ballet shoes in her bag as she follows Angelina]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[to William]'' Hurry up, William! Or we'll be late for the fair!
:''[William grunts as he straightens the bags on his shoulders and follows along]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Angelina, Alice, William and Henry are waiting in line to go on the Ferris wheel]''
:'''Henry''': ''[gasps; then to Angelina about the Ferris wheel]'' But I told you, I don't like big wheels.
:'''Angelina''': Oh, don't worry, Henry. They're not at all scary.
:'''William''': Of course they're not.
:'''Alice''': ''[while eating a candy apple]'' In fact, it's just like riding a bicycle.
:'''Henry''': But I can't ride a bicycle.
:'''Angelina''': Trust me, Henry, you're going to love it!
:''[Later, the scene cuts to where Angelina, Alice, William and Henry are riding on the Ferris wheel]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[eagerly]'' &lt;big&gt;'''OH HENRY, ISN'T THIS FUN?!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Henry''': ''[crying]'' &lt;big&gt;'''I WANT TO GET OFF!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Angelina groans in frustration]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[The scene cuts to where Angelina, Alice and William are riding on the Loop the Loop roller coaster as it goes up the hill and then zooms down the track as they both laugh and scream at the same time until it comes to a stop and the attendant walks over to them]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[to the attendant]'' Can we go again?
:'''Alice and Angelina''': &lt;big&gt;'''PLEASE?!'''&lt;/big&gt;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Priscilla and Penelope --who bought the last tickets for &quot;The Ballet&quot;-- are seen getting on the bus, humming, as they walk by Angelina and Alice]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[devastated; and about the Pinkpaws twins Priscilla and Penelope]'' I can't believe those horrible twins got the very last tickets!
:'''Priscilla''': ''[mockingly]'' Oh, poor Angelina.
:'''Penelope''': ''[teasingly]'' Somebody should buy her an alarm clock.
:''[Priscilla and Penelope both start laughing]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[devastated]'' Those tickets should be ours, Alice. We have to find some way to get them!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Penelope''': ''[smirking]'' Forget it, Angelina! We are not going to trade our tickets for anything! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[When Angelina and Alice arrived at the Theatre Royal, they're both walking up the steps while Angelina carries her suitcase. They both also try a first attempt to see the ballet]''
:'''Alice''': I still don't see why Mimi and Mikel Whiskersev would give us tickets.
:'''Angelina''': Because we're Miss Lilly's star pupils, of course.
:'''Alice''': ''[gasps; sadly]'' I'm not a star pupil.
:''[Angelina enters the Theatre Royal and looks around with Alice following her behind, they quietly walk over to the door. Angelina and Alice try to sneak into the theater, but the ticket vendor catches them. He sees them and wants to know where they're going]''
:'''Ticket Vendor''': ''[off-screen; to Angelina and Alice]'' And where do you think you're going?
:''[Angelina and Alice nervously chuckle and walk away]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Angelina and Alice try a second attempt to see the ballet. They both try by dressing up as Ms. Lilly. The ticket vendor sees this, clears his throat, and again wants to know where Angelina and Alice are going]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[to the ticket vendor; in a heavy accent]'' I am Ms. Lilly. I have come to see my friends, Mimi and Mikel Whiskersev.
:'''Ticket Vendor''': ''[knows that Angelina and Alice are trying to trick him]'' I see.
:''[Angelina and Alice continue giggling until they trip over and her velvet cloak rips. But in another attempt to see the ballet, they both try to trick the ticket vendor that they are Mimi and Mikel Whiskersev by dressing up in a costume as them from the ballet]''
:'''Angelina and Alice''': ''[groaning in disappointment]'' Oh!
:'''Ticket Vendor''': ''[off-screen]'' Well...! ''[chuckles]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Oh, come here. ''[hugs Angelina]'' You tried your best. 
:'''Angelina''': ''[crying]'' Next time (if any other show has no tickets left), I'm going to camp outside the theater all night!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Yes, darling. Of course you are.
:'''Angelina''': ''[crying]'' Maybe all week if I have to!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': I know. ''[hugs Angelina again]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': ''[cheerfully]'' Hello!
:'''Angelina''': ''[depressed; in between sobs]'' Hello, Dad...!
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': ''[sits down at the table next to Angelina]'' What's the sad face for?
:'''Angelina''': ''[crying]'' The ballet's on tonight and I'm not going. There are no tickets left.
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': ''[pulls out the tickets from his coat pocket]'' Are you sure? Not even one?
:''[Although Angelina --at first-- thought her &quot;plan&quot; had been cancelled, it turns out that Mr. Mouseling had bought the tickets earlier and forgot to give them to Angelina and her friend Alice before the Pinkpaws twins bought the last tickets.]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[gasps, as she sees the tickets]'' But, but, but...! ''[enthusiastically, as she hugs her father]'' Oh!
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': ''[chuckles, as he hugs her back]'' Best close tonight, I think. I've got a job for you to do later.
:'''Angelina''': ''[sadly]'' Oh, but my velvet cloak's torn.
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[off-screen]'' Not anymore.
:''[Angelina gasps as she sees her velvet cloak all fixed and sewed]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[happily]'' Oh, thanks, Mom!
:''[Mrs. Mouseling puts the velvet cloak on Angelina and twirls around]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': I'll phone Alice's mother and tell them you're on your way.

===Midnight Muddle / Miss Lilly is Leaving [1.4]===
:''[That night, Angelina and Alice are seen inside their tent]''
:'''Angelina''': And then, just as Old Red Whiskers thought he was safe, a great big tabby-cat leapt out and whipped off his tail!
:''[Alice gets scared and covers herself up with a sleeping bag]''
:'''Angelina''': And ever since that terrible night, Old Red Whiskers stalks these gardens in search of fresh cheese and his missing tail...
:''[Alice whimpers too much and hides inside a sleeping bag]''
:'''Angelina''': Oh, Alice. It's just a story, there's no such thing as ghosts. ''[suddenly hears ghostly sounds outside]''
:'''Alice''': ''[gasps; fearfully]'' &lt;big&gt;'''THEN WHAT'S MAKING THAT NOISE?!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Angelina''': ''[suspiciously]'' I don't know. ''[grabs the lantern, as she still continues to hear ghostly sounds]'' But I'm going to find out.
:'''Alice''': &lt;big&gt;'''OH!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''[gets out of her sleeping bag and runs after Angelina]'' &lt;big&gt;'''WAIT FOR ME!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Angelina and Alice come out from their tent as Alice shudders. Angelina walks over and peeks over the garden shed]''
:'''Angelina''': There's nothing there.
:''[Alice squeals fearfully and gets Angelina's attention]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[jumps up; to Alice]'' What now, Alice?
:''[Alice points to the shadow on the ground as Angelina notices and walks over to the garden fork with a hat on top that's making the shadow]''
:'''Angelina''': It's only a garden fork. You're such a scaredy-mouse! ''[hears a ghostly wail in the distance]'' He's next door.
:'''Alice''': You can't go in there. Remember what Mrs. Hodgepodge said.
:'''Angelina''': &lt;big&gt;'''OH, ALICE! JUST STAY HERE!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Alice whimpers as Angelina walks off to Mrs. Hodgepodge's garden while hearing the ghostly wails in the distance until she walks backwards into a white sheet]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[gasping]'' &lt;big&gt;'''HELP! GET OFF!'''&lt;/big&gt; ''[gasping]'' &lt;big&gt;'''LEAVE ME ALONE!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Angelina gets the white sheet off and falls on the ground, next to Mrs. Hodgepodge's cauliflower and she steps on it by accident while running. Alice sees Angelina running towards her and they both scream and crash into each other and grunt, they both run off, screaming, as the camera zooms into the lantern that Angelina left, turning off by itself]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Sammy''': Whoopee! This is fun! Ha ha ha! Oh! Oh! Aah! Ow! Ow! Uhh.
:'''Mrs. Hodgepodge''': Aah! Oh, my prize-winning cauliflower! It's ruined.
:'''Sammy''': Ow! Oh.
:'''Mrs. Hodgepodge''': You nasty little monster. That's taken me four months to grow!
:'''Sammy''': But it wasn't me.
:'''Mrs. Hodgepodge''': I'll be speaking to your parents, Sammy Watts. You won't be riding your bike for weeks!

===Miss Lilly Comes to Dinner / Lucky Penny [1.5]===
:''[At Miss Lilly's dance studio, the mouselings are dancing at the barre]''
:'''Angelina''': And Mom's made a cheese pie!
:'''Alice''': What are you going to wear tonight?
:'''Miss Lilly''': ''[off-screen]'' Good morning, sorry I'm a little late, ''[opens the doors]'' my darlings. I had such a wonderful evening at the Theatre Royal! ''[walks over to Flora]'' Hey, come along, Flora. Pay attention to your position, dear. ''[walks by the mouselings]'' It is a charity gala to raise money for Dacovia, my beautiful homeland. ''[to William]'' Oh, good. Tighten the leg, William. ''[to the mouselings]'' It brought back so many, many memories. ''[turns to Priscilla]'' Excellent, Priscilla. Keep the knee out.
:''[The phone rings in the background]''
:'''Miss Lilly''': ''[walks away from the mouselings]'' Keep going, darlings! Keep going!

===Two Mice In A Boat / The Costume Ball [1.7]===
:'''Angelina''': Please, Mom? I know everyone going! Miss Lilly, Mr. and Mrs. Nimbletoes and you know I love dancing! I can dance as well as anybody!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Oh, Angelina, honestly...
:'''Angelina''': Oh! That's it! If you're going as a queen, and Dad's going as a king, it makes sense that I go as a princess!
:''[Mrs. Mouseling sighs]''
:'''Angelina''': After all, what's a king and queen without their princess? I promise to be good, I won't spill anything. You won't even know I'm there. ''[begging]'' Please?
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[sighs]'' I'm sorry, Angelina. The costume ball is for grownups only, not little mouselings.
:'''Angelina''': ''[gasps, agitated]'' But, Mom, I grew heaps last year!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[firmly]'' Angelina, I said no.
:'''Angelina''': ''[stammers angrily, as she drops the basket]'' Oh, it's, it's not fair! ''[runs into the house]'' It's just not fair!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Oh, Angelina, ''[calling]'' why don't you call Alice? She could come over and stay the night!
:''[The sound of the door is heard shut off-screen. Mrs. Mouseling then shakes her head]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': Oh, Mom! Not Mrs. Hodgepodge! Last time she stayed, she kept me awake all night with her horrible snoring!
:'''Alice''': I hope she doesn't bring her cabbage jelly.
:''[Mrs. Mouseling sighs as Mr. Mouseling grunts and he is seen dressed up as a bumblebee]''
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': ''[to Mrs. Mouseling]'' Um, could you give me a hand with my antenna, dear? I-It won't stand up straight. Uh, mmm, ''[turns to Angelina and Alice and then to Mrs. Mouseling]'' a bit of a mix up at the costume shop.
:''[Angelina and Alice both giggle as Mrs. Mouseling laughs and approaches over to him]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Never mind. I can be your queen bee.
:''[Angelina and Alice both laugh again]''
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': Queen bee, yes, very good.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': Come on, Alice.
:'''Alice''': Come on, where?
:'''Angelina''': To the costume ball, of course.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Mr. Mouseling and Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[shocked, in unison]'' &lt;big&gt;'''ANGELINA...?!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Mr. Nimbletoes and Mrs. Nimbletoes''': ''[shocked, in unison]'' &lt;big&gt;'''ALICE...?!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Mrs. Hodgepodge''': ''[furiously]'' There they are, those, those naughty little runaways!
:''[Angelina starts to cry as she and Alice stare at each other, knowing they've been busted. The next morning, Angelina is seen scrubbing the floor while Alice mops the floor as a punishment]''
:'''Alice''': My back is aching! ''[sighs]'' Oh, this is such hard work!
:'''Angelina''': ''[sighs]'' I'm so tired! Perhaps going to the ball wasn't such a good idea.

===Angelina's Surprise / The Rose Fairy Princess [1.10]===
:'''Miss Lilly''': One, two, three, two, two, Angelina, two, three. Two, two, three...
:''[The mouselings continue dancing until Priscilla and Penelope leap past Angelina and she spins around as she exclaims while trying to keep her balance. Alice twirls her way around]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[agitated; and about the Pinkpaws twins Priscilla and Penelope]'' Those twins are too much.
:'''Alice''': ''[straightens Angelina's pink tutu]'' Don't worry, Angelina. You'll be the best rose fairy princess in all of Mouseland.
:'''Angelina''': ''[smiling; to Alice]'' Thanks.
:''[Angelina and Alice hug, the camera zooms into Angelina's untied ballet shoe]''
:'''Priscilla''': ''[noticing Angelina's ballet shoe is untied]'' Oh, your...!
:'''Penelope''': ''[covering Priscilla's mouth]'' &lt;big&gt;'''SHHHH!'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Miss Lilly''': ''[off-screen]'' And again!
:''[Angelina twirls around until she suddenly trips on her untied ballet shoe, topples down to the floor and groans in pain just as Priscilla and Penelope walk over to her]''
:'''Priscilla''': Never mind, Angelina.
:'''Penelope''': After all, you can always join the chorus of dancing flowers.

===Alice's Present / No Match for Angelina [1.11]===
:''[Angelina and Alice are seen sitting next to each other on the bench when Angelina opens up a present, revealing a bag]''
:'''Angelina''': Oh, Alice! It's beautiful!
:'''Alice''': I-I made it myself. You can put all your gym things in it.
:'''Angelina''': Thank you! ''[hugs her]'' Thank you!
:'''Priscilla''': Oh, I didn't know it was your birthday, Angelina.
:'''Penelope''': ''[teasingly]'' Oh-no, and we forgot to buy you a present.
:'''Angelina''': It's not my birthday.
:'''Alice''': Best friends can give each other presents anytime.
:'''Angelina''': ''[puts her bag down on the bench]'' Come on, Alice, it's time for gym!
:'''Mouselings''': ''[chattering, as they follow Angelina and Alice]'' It's time for gym!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': ''[sees that Henry is playing with the hose]'' What are you doing, Henry?! ''[walks angrily to Henry]'' Henry! ''[taking the hose from Henry]''
:'''Henry''': Sorry.
:'''Angelina''': ''[angrily; to William]'' You see William, I don't need friends like... ''[aiming the hose at Alice which water was hitting her again]'' ...Alice!

===Angelina's Valentine's / The Royal Banquet [1.12]===
( ''slurping'' )

:'''Angelina''': I've made Valentine cards for my favorite people. Alice, Henry, Mom, Dad... and this one is for Miss Lilly. &quot;Roses are red, volets are blue. To you, Miss Lilly, my heart will be true.&quot;

===The Gymnastics Championship / Angelina's Baby Sister [1.13]===

:''[All of the chocolate ice cream is sold out.]''
:'''Mrs. Thimble''': ''[to Angelina]'' I am sorry. I just sold the last three scoops of chocolate ice cream.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Angelina comes back home and enters her mother's room]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[sees Polly for the first time]'' Let me see her! ''[sees Polly wrapped up in a blanket]'' Oh, she's so beautiful! Oh, look at her tiny toes! I can't wait to bring her to ballet lessons and I can take her to school and she can even share my bedroom.
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': Well, maybe not quite yet.
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[chuckles]'' We're calling her Polly.
:'''Angelina''': Polly? Oh, that's just perfect for her!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Alice and her mother, Mrs. Nimbletoes arrives at Angelina's house]''
:'''Alice''': Oh, hello! How's the baby?
:'''Angelina''': She's crying.
:'''Mrs. Nimbletoes''': Come on, girls, we're going to be late.
:'''Angelina''': But Mom and Dad are taking me. ''[to Mr. Mouseling and Mrs. Mouseling]'' Aren't you?
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': Ah, yes, um, Angelina, I was meaning to tell you your mother is very tired. I need to look after her.
:'''Angelina''': But it's the end of year's show. You always come!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': I'm sorry, darling, but... ''[gently pats Polly's back]''
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': I'll try to get there later for the prize-giving.
:'''Angelina''': ''[scoffs in frustration]'' Bother!
:'''Alice''': Aren't you happy?
:'''Angelina''': ''[unhappily]'' Yes, but ''why'' did the baby have to come today?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Alice''': How's Polly?
:'''William''': Is she walking yet? Can she say her name?
:'''Angelina''': ''[scoffs]'' She can't do anything except cry. She kept me awake all night. ''[falls off the bench]''
:'''Alice''': Isn't that what babies always do? ''[giggles]''
:'''Angelina''': Oh, I'm starving. Dad burnt everything this morning, except the plate.
:''[Angelina opens her lunch box and gasps when she sees Polly's baby bottle in it, then she scoffs]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[angrily]'' That's it, I've had enough! ''[storms off]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[Polly rolls over as the prize starts rolling over on the bed when it suddenly falls off and lands on the floor with a crash]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[gasps]'' What was that?
:''[Polly cries as Angelina walks over to the other side of the bed and Polly starts rolling over again]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[horrified]'' Oh, Polly! How could you?!
:''[Mrs. Mouseling opens the door and sees Polly is about to fall and successfully catches her on time before she hit the floor]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[scolding Angelina]'' '''I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO KEEP AN EYE ON HER!''' She nearly fell off the bed!
:'''Angelina''': ''[tearfully, holds her broken prize]'' She broke my prize!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[while trying to calm Polly down]'' There, there, it's alright, Polly.
:'''Angelina''': ''[starts crying]'' You just don't care about me anymore, do you? It's all Polly, Polly, Polly!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[In the living room, Mrs. Mouseling is seen rocking Polly to sleep, humming silently while Mr. Mouseling reads the newspaper]''
:'''Grandma and Grandpa''': ''[off-screen, in unison]'' We're here! ''[they enter the living room]''
:'''Angelina''': And Miss Lilly gave it to me for being the most promising dancer of the year.
:'''Grandpa''': Where is she?
:'''Angelina''': In the suitcase. I'll get her out where you can glue her back together.
:'''Grandpa''': ''[laughs]'' No, I meant where's Polly.
:'''Angelina''': ''[furiously]'' '''OH! POLLY, POLLY, POLLY!! I'M SICK OF POLLY!!!''' ''[runs upstairs]''
:'''Mr. and Mrs. Mouseling''': Shhhhh!
:''[Angelina storms up to her room and closes the door, sobbing in frustration]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[lamenting]'' I've changed my mind! I don't want a sister! If there was a baby shop, I'd ask for my money back! ''[continues weeping]''
:''[As everyone continues to adore Polly, the sound of crashing is heard upstairs]''
:'''Grandma''': Whatever is going on?
:''[Polly awakens and starts crying. At the same time, Angelina throws a book and picks up a small green bear and then throws it]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[shrieking]'' Rrrrrrraaaaaaaaahhh!!!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Oh, dear...
:''[Mrs. Mouseling comes into Angelina's room and finds Angelina weeping so hard on her bed]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': Angelina! What's the matter?
:'''Angelina''': ''[sobbing, face buried in her pillow]'' You don't care about me anymore.
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[gently]'' Aww, of course I do! ''[Sits on her bed]'' I love you just as much as ever.
:'''Angelina''': ''[yet weeping, face buried in her pillow]'' No, you don't. All you care about is Polly.
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[gently]'' Oh, but that's not true. I love both of you.
:''[Mrs. Mouseling consoles Angelina from her meltdown]''
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[soothingly and petting Angelina's fur]'' Oh, there, there. ''[pets Angelina on the back]'' I know it's been hard. You'll always be special to me, Angelina. You were my very first baby.

==Series 2 (2003)==
===The Old Oak Tree / Lights, Camera, Action! [2.2]===
:''[Mr. Maurice Mouseling, Ms. Lilly, Mrs. Hodgepodge, Mrs. Pinkpaws, and Dr. Tuttle are having a meeting about the oak tree in the mouselings's playground.]''
:'''Mrs. Pinkpaws''': &lt;big&gt;'''I SAY, &quot;IT MUST BE CUT DOWN IMMEDIATELY!&quot; AFTER ALL, MY DARLING (PRISCILLA) LITERALLY BROKE HER ARM! WE DO NOT WANT ANYONE ELSE GETTING HURT! DO WE!?'''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Mrs. Hodgepodge''': ''[to Mrs. Pinkpaws]'' But that tree is over 1,000 years old! 
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': Yes, it is a symbol of village life. Generations of village mouselings have played in it. And they have carved their initials on it. 
:'''Mrs. Pinkpaws''': ''[to Mr. Mouseling]'' Well, I am surprised at you, Maurice! As proprietor of the Mouseling Gazette, you must be more responsible about public safety!
:'''Ms. Lilly''': Can I make a suggestion? Why don't we build a fence around that old oak tree. Then the tree is kept safe. And the little mouselings are kept out of harm's way.
:''[Mrs. Pinkpaws turns to Ms. Lilly.]''
:'''Mrs. Pinkpaws''': ''[to Ms. Lilly]'' Ms. Lilly? You know perfectly well that they just climb over it! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:'''Angelina''': ''[dreamily]'' Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful to be in a movie? Angelina Mouseling: Famous star and prima ballerina! Oh, I can see my name in lights!
:'''Alice''': ''[sees a sign]'' Hey, look at this, Angelina!
:'''William''': ''[reading the sign]'' &quot;Calling all young movie makers! Enter our competition and your movie could be shown at this year's Film Festival!&quot;!
:'''Alice''': Oh, I'd love to be in a movie!
:'''Angelina''': You will be, Alice! We'll enter the competition! I'll play this beautiful, young ballerina who, who breaks her tail and is told she'll never dance again. But, she overcomes her injury.
:'''Angelina, Alice and William''': And becomes the greatest dancer ever!
:'''Angelina''': ''[ecstatically]'' Yes!
:''[Henry giggles]''
:'''Alice''': But, Angelina-
:'''Angelina''': I, oh, I mean, we could make the best movie that Mouseland's ever seen! We're bound to win!
:'''Alice''': There's just one problem, we haven't got a camera.
:'''Henry''': Dr. Tuttle's got one.
:'''Angelina''': ''[gasps]'' You're right, Henry! He has! Come on! We're going to make a movie! ''[dances out of the theater]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[The scene cuts to the cedar tree where Angelina is seen trying to put on her ballet costume]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[struggles]'' Henry? Where's Henry?
:'''Alice''': Angelina, Thomasina Tuttle was a poor farmer's daughter and I'm sure she didn't do the dirty farm work, wearing a tutu.
:'''Angelina''': ''[optimistically]'' Oh, don't worry, Alice! I've no intention of getting dirty. How are you doing with the props?
:'''Alice''': Well, I've got the rope and the broom. Now all we need is a tree stump.
:'''Henry''': ''[pointing, while carrying the camera]'' There's one! There's one!
:'''Alice''': And something to be the big hole.
:'''Angelina''': ''[putting her ballet shoes on]'' What big hole?
:'''Alice''': The one Thomasina fell down! ''[reading]'' &quot;She laid there for ages until she-&quot;
:'''Angelina''': ''[interrupting]'' Alice, I'm not spending the whole movie stuck in a dirty, old hole. ''[takes her crown out from her bag]''
:'''Alice''': But that's what happens in the true-
:'''Angelina''': ''[interrupting]'' We'll do my story about the young ballerina who breaks her tail. Sad stories are always the best. Trust me, Alice. ''[puts her royal cape on]'' Do it my way and we'll have the audience in tears!
:'''Alice''': ''[off-screen]'' You bet.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[after William saves Angelina who was trapped in a big hole]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[to William]'' I had no idea you were so brave, William!
:'''William''': Nor did I!
:'''Henry''': Oh!
:'''Dr. Tuttle''': ''[arrives at the scene]'' Is this my scene?
:'''Alice''': ''[calling]'' Over here, doctor! Quick!
:''[Dr. Tuttle runs over to Angelina]''
:'''Dr. Tuttle''': ''[dramatically]'' Oh, my dear, Thomasina! Your poor arm! You must be in such pain!
:'''Angelina''': ''[painfully]'' It's Angelina, Dr. Tuttle, and it's my leg. ''[sobs]'' Ow!

===The Silver Locket / Mouse of the Year [2.4]===
:''[Angelina got on her dress, looking at her reflection in the mirror with Alice in her dress on was shown holding a necklace]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[unhappily]'' Oh. Polly's always a nuisance. ''[sees Alice with her necklace in the mirror then turns around in surprise]'' Oh, Alice. You've got a new necklace.
:'''Alice''': ''[giggles]'' Mom and Dad gave it to me.
:'''Angelina''': ''[in surprise]'' Oh! ''[gasps]'' My mom's got some sparkly necklaces. I'll see if I can borrow one! ''[runs out of her bedroom]''
:''[Alice tests her new necklace out]''
:'''Angelina''': ''[enters her parents' bedroom]'' Um, Mom, can I borrow a necklace for the party?
:'''Mr. Mouseling''': ''[off-screen]'' Matilda! I'm going to be late for work!
:'''Mrs. Mouseling''': ''[gasps; calling]'' Coming! ''[to Angelina]'' Don't forget to give Polly her bottle. ''[leaves the bedroom]'' Now have a lovely time!
:''[Angelina sighs then goes to her mom's necklace box and takes out her mom's locket]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[At Miss Lilly's party, Ms. Quaver is playing the piano, while everyone is seen chatting away, having a fun time]''
:'''Priscilla''': ''[sees the silver locket around Angelina's neck]'' Our mother has a much prettier locket than that.
:'''Penelope''': Her's is bigger and it has a diamond in the middle.
:'''Angelina''': Well, this one is very old and very precious. ''[to Alice]'' Come on, Alice. Let's dance.
:''[They both start dancing as Priscilla and Penelope look on in jealously]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot; /&gt;
:''[As the party ends, Miss Lilly is seen waving and saying goodbye to everyone as they leave, Angelina is seen strolling Polly in her stroller while Alice grabs one more treat from the snack table]''
:'''Alice''': Oh, oh, wait for me, Angelina!
:'''Miss Lilly''': Goodbye, darling. ''[gives Polly a kiss]''
:'''Angelina''': Thank you for a lovely party, Miss Lilly.
:'''Miss Lilly''': A pleasure, Angelina. So nice to have little Polly here too.
:''[Polly giggles happily]''
:'''Alice''': Thank you, Miss Lilly. ''[to Angelina]'' Oh, Angelina?
:'''Angelina''': Hmm?
:'''Alice''': Where's your silver locket?
:'''Angelina''': ''[gasps loudly, as she puts her hands on her neck]'' It's gone! Oh-no!

==Voice cast==
* [[w:Finty Williams|Finty Williams]] as Angelina Mouseling, Aunt Lavender and Mrs. Hodgepodge
* [[w:Jo Wyatt|Jo Wyatt]] as Alice Nimbletoes, Penelope Pinkpaws, Sammy Watts and Henry Mouseling
* [[w:Judi Dench|Judi Dench]] as Miss Lilly
* [[w:Keith Wickham|Keith Wickham]] as William Longtail, Mr. Longtail, Mr. Mouseling, Grandpa Jeffrey and Dr. Tuttle
* Jonell Elliott as Priscilla Pinkpaws and Mrs. Mouseling
* [[w:Adrienne Posta|Adrienne Posta]] as Grandma Sophia
* [[w:Rob Rackstraw|Rob Rackstraw]] as Uncle Louis
* [[Derek Jacobi]] as Mr. Operatski

==See also==
* ''[[Angelina Ballerina: The Next Steps]]''
* ''[[Clifford the Big Red Dog (2019 TV series)]]''

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:2000s UK animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated drama TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated education TV shows]]
[[Category:UK TV shows based on children's books]]
[[Category:UK TV shows with live action and animation]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:PBS Kids shows]]
[[Category:Treehouse TV shows]]
[[Category:TVOntario shows]]
[[Category:ITV shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about mice and rats]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about children]]</text>
      <sha1>2chzvmu3uroqwwztwxlipxog6180bln</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Scoob!</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>227022</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944116</id>
      <parentid>3934096</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T04:17:34Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30616-86</username>
        <id>3326962</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Brian / Blue Falcon */</comment>
      <origin>3944116</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="71473" sha1="99s7cdw5flamsb1x78ptgkp7qpr8nq0" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
[[File:Scoob Logo.png|thumb|Mystery Loves Company.]]
'''''[[w:Scoob!|Scoob!]]''''' is a 2020 American computer-animated adventure comedy film produced by the [[w:Warner Animation Group|Warner Animation Group]] and based on the ''[[Scooby-Doo]]'' franchise. It is a reboot of the [[w:Scooby-Doo in film|''Scooby-Doo'' film series]]. The plot follows as Scooby and the gang face their most challenging mystery ever: a plot to unleash the ghost dog Cerberus upon the world. As they race to stop this dogpocalypse, the gang discovers that Scooby has an epic destiny greater than anyone imagined. The films stars the voices of {{w|Zac Efron}}, {{w|Amanda Seyfried}}, {{w|Gina Rodriguez}}, {{w|Will Forte}}, and [[Frank Welker]] as Scooby.

''Scoob!'' released to video on demand and theaters on May 15, 2020 by [[w:Warner Bros. Pictures|Warner Bros. Pictures]]. It was initially set to play in theaters on the same date, but the theatrical release was canceled in response to the COVID-19 pandemic.

:''Directed by [[w:Spike Brandt and Tony Cervone|Tony Cervone]]. Written by [[w:Adam Sztykiel|Adam Sztykiel]], Jack Donaldson, Derek Elliott and Matt Lieberman, Based on the {{w|Scooby-Doo}} characters by the [[w:Hanna-Barbera|Hanna-Barbera]] Productions.''

{{center|'''Mystery Loves Company.'''&amp;nbsp; {{small|([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}}}

== Mystery Inc. ==
=== Scooby-Doo ===
[[File:Reindeer Parade (10948678246).jpg|200px|right|thumb|Let's Scooby-Dooby-Do It!]]
*''[to Simon Cowell]'' No fries for you.
*FYI, you are officially out of... everything.
*Sand.
* We'll walked home.
*No thanks, Dastardly.
*Rokay Rick
*Rick with a D.
*Ra-Ra-Ra Rick
*Let's Scooby-Dooby Doo it!
*That's what i said Raggy.
*I want my Raggy!
*Raggy, you promised to never leave. Come home.

=== Norville &quot;Shaggy&quot; Rogers ===
[[File:Cosplay at Polymanga 2016, Switzerland; February 2016 (43).jpg|200px|right|thumb|Zoinks! Like, slow down dude.]]
*Zoinks!
*Uh, guys, I think we've just found the world's smallest Walmart.
*''[after Scooby chooses to be with the Falcon Force]'' I never thought I'd say this, but Simon Cowell was right! You ''can't'' count on friendship!
*''[pleading to Brian Crown, Dynomutt and Dee Dee Skyes]'' I don't know, Why don't you ask Fred because right now, I need to tell Scoob— ''[been kicked by Dick Dastardly and captured Scooby-Doo who tricking him to disguise as Fred Jones]'' Dick Dastardly?!
* Stop, STOP IT ALL OF YOU! It's my fault. ''I'm'' to blame. I let my own jealousy break me and Scooby up. I was afraid that with his new suit and his new team, things were gonna change. And they did change. But, like, that's okay. People can grow. But it doesn't mean that we're growing apart. Because the one thing that will never change is that Scooby-Doo is my best friend. Ten years ago, a little boy made a promise to a stray puppy that he'd never leave him no matter what. And I'm gonna keep that promise. Now, it's time we stop this mustachioed menace for opening the gates to the underpass... ('''Dee Dee:''' Underworld.) ...and letting loose the fearsome sippy-cup. ('''Dynomutt:''' Cerberus.) So what do you say we get out of Middle-earth... ('''Brian:''' Copyright infringement.) ...and go get my always-snacking, never-lacking, often-napping dog back! Who's with me? ('''Fred, Daphne, Velma, Brian, Dynomutt, and Dee Dee:''' We are!) Let's do this!

=== Fred Jones ===
[[File:SDCC 2014 - Fred and Daphne (7737411444).jpg|200px|right|thumb|Scooby-Doo has a first-class ticket to the ''dogpocalypse!'']]
* All right, everybody. I would like to pose to you all the question of questions. What's next for Mystery Inc.?
* Guys, guys, guys. The Mystery Machine needs a whole new... Needs a whole new everything, and I'm never gonna get that smell out.
* Shaggy and Scooby ''were'' taken?
* What would a creep like that want with Scooby and Shaggy?
* Congratulations, you two. You just saved the world.
* I have so many mixed feelings.
* ''[runs in front of Brian / Blue Falcon]'' Leave Shaggy Alone!
* Wait Chris? or Liam?
* ''[argues to Brian / Blue Falcon]'' Because of ''you'', Scooby-Doo has a first-class ticket to the ''dogpocalypse!''
* You shall be avenged. For the Mystery Machine!
* Sorry, gang. Never mess with another man's vehicle.

=== Daphne Blake ===
[[File:Anime Expo 2011 - Daphne from Scooby Doo (5917928634).jpg|200px|right|thumb|I think it means that Scoob and Shaggy's friendship will live on... whether they're together or not.]]
*Is the bad guy my dad?
*Funny story, Officer. We were rushing to capture this evil villain who we thought was trying to kill our friends.
*Dastardly's going to use Scooby to unlock the Gates to the Underworld.
*Who's Muttley?
* Hey, get off of him!
* Oh, thank goodness. The gang is finally back together.
*I think it means that Scoob and Shaggy's friendship will live on... whether they're together or not.
*Hey, Dusty! Watch the shop, please.

=== Velma Dinkley ===
[[File:Long Beach Comic &amp; Horror Con 2011 - Velma from Scooby Doo (6301174573).jpg|200px|right|thumb|Jinkles!]]
*Jinkles!
* It's time to turn Mystery Inc. into a real business.
* This will not stand. Let’s go get that Dastardly dude.
* Alexander the Great built these gates to be locked only by him...and his dog Peritas. As the last descendant of Peritas... Scooby has to do it.
* How did you find us?
* Yeah, what kind of hero blames other people for his problems?
* Are we missing something? &quot;A pair whose friendship forever grows.&quot; [wipes her eyes] Does it mean something else?
* This makes no sense. How could ''he'' have time to judge the world's greatest talent shows and build a giant airship?

== Dick Dastardly ==
* ''[his first words]'' Nobody gets away from Dick Dastardly! Right, Rottens? I need what’s on that ship or I’ll never get my treasure. Do, Not, Fail, Me!
*Scooby-Dooby-Doo! Where are you?
*Give me that dog!
*Drat, drat, and double drat!
*You're mine, Scooby-Doo!
*''[to Fred, Daphne and Velma]'' You have the right to remain silent. And everything you said about my face will be used against you in a court of claw! ''[laughing]''
*That's right, and your &quot;foolish&quot; friend led me straight to you!
* No, you are the key. Join me, Scooby-Doo, and I will show you how to harness your destiny and become the most important dog in the world.
*Poor man's Hemsworth stays with me.
*Oh i have a grand plans for Freddie Boy.
* ''[failing his Simon Cowell's disguise]'' Drat! No one ''ever'' goes for the ''double'' unmasking.
* ''[in anger; last words before taken away alongside Muttley to custody by Brian / Blue Falcon, Dynomutt and Dee Dee Skyes his defeat]'' I would've gotten away with it if it weren't for ''you'' '''mismatched meddling miscreants!'''

=== [[Simon Cowell]] ===
* Oh, whoopee, a diner. I'll have a napkin and some hand sanitizer.
* Uh, congratulations, gentlemen. You are terrible.
* Every successful group requires hard work and determination. Identifying potential is what I do, and you have got it. Fred, you're the tank. The muscle.
* Daphne is the people person. The empath.
* And Velma's got the smarts and technical savvy.
* But you two aren't even listening. You're eating a clownishly oversized sandwich.
* Look, a group can only be as strong as its weakest links. Bottom line, I can't invest with these two involved.
* Literally, anything. You ''can't'' count on friendship. People change. And when you get into real trouble, friendship ''won't'' save the day.
* ''[last words]'' Thank you. I also played Rum Tum Tugger in my secondary school's production of &quot;[[Cats (musical)|Cats]]&quot;.

=== Officer Jaffe ===
* Pull over.
* Do you kids have any idea how fast you were going?
* Uh-huh. Step out of the vehicle. All of you.
* Ooh, dangerous. Sounds like he's a... handsome guy.
* Yeah, but in a cool way, like Gérard Depardieu.
* How dare you! ''[rippled herself off revealing Dastardly in disguise]''

=== Fake Fred Jones ===
* Shaggy, Scooby-Doo is in grave danger, and Dastardly is on his way here right now, and he won't stop until he gets him. ('''Shaggy''': Dastardly? Then we can't let that happen.) Exactly! Now, take me to Scooby-Doo.

== Brian Crown / Blue Falcon ==
*Welcome to the Falcon Fury. Hang on, hang on. Turn on the lights. Where are my balloons, Dee Dee? When I say &quot;Falcon Fury&quot;, that's supposed to cue the balloons. Kieth, what is the deal up there, man?
* Who's Fred?
* There's something about the way ''he'' said, &quot;''do you?''&quot; and then laughed that makes me think ''he'' did something to ''our'' ship.
* Time for you to pay for ''your'' crimes, Dick Dastardly.

== Dynomutt ==
*I think you mean this ain't your daddy's Blue Falcon. Allow me to introduce you to Blue Falcon's large adult son, Brian.
* Where did that anachronistic van come from?

== Dee Dee Skyes ==
* Gentlemen, welcome aboard. I'm Dee Dee Skyes, pilot of the Falcon Fury.
* How'd he get the van to a prehistoric world hidden miles beneath the North Pole?

== Captain Caveman ==
* ''[meeting Scooby-Doo and Brian / Blue Falcon]'' Hello! Your tiny little brains probably can't understand me, so I will speak slowly, so that you may process the welcoming tones of my voice.
* ''[spots at the Mystery Machine]'' Dang, those are some dope wheels! ''[Dynomutt fires at him sending a wall inside]'' Whatever wheels are!

== Muttley ==
* Stupid robots.

== Dialogue ==
[[File:Scooby-Doo at Coldingham Beach - geograph.org.uk - 6398700.jpg|thumb|Dispatch! I've got a stray dog on a tube of compressed meat.]]
:'''Officer Gary''': Dispatch! I've got a stray dog on a tube of compressed meat. I repeat, we’ve a grand theft gyro in progress!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Fred Jones''': All right, everybody. I would like to pose to you all the question of questions. What's next for Mystery Inc.? 
:'''Shaggy Rogers''': Ooh, I totally have the answer. Lunch.
:'''Daphne Blake''': No, Shaggy, I think what Fred means is that...
:'''Scooby-Doo''': I was also gonna say lunch.
:'''Fred''': Guys, guys, guys. The Mystery Machine needs a whole new... Needs a whole new everything, and I'm never gonna get that smell out. 
:'''Scooby''': I told you I needed a walk. 
:'''Velma Dinkley''': It's time to turn Mystery Inc. into a real business. 
:'''Shaggy''': What do you mean? Like, carry a briefcase, and wear a tie, and pay taxes? 
:'''Daphne''': Wait, have you not been paying your taxes?
:'''Scooby''': I handle our accounting. 
:'''Velma''': Look, we're ready to take on bigger cases, scarier villains, and creepier mysteries, but that takes money. Fortunately, we found a possible investor. 
:'''[[Simon Cowell]]''': ''[comes in the diner and sits down with them]'' Oh, whoopee, a diner. I'll have a napkin and some hand sanitizer. 
:'''Shaggy''': Whoa, man! It's Simon Cowell. ''[pulls out his phone and plays ''Shallow'' by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper]''
:'''Shaggy and Scooby''': ''[singing]'' In the shallow In the shallow
:'''Shaggy''': ''[continues singing]'' I'm off the deep end watch as I dive in...
:'''Simon Cowell''': Uh, congratulations, gentlemen. You are terrible.
:'''Fred''': How does he do that? See, he's mean, but he makes it fun. 
:'''Velma''': We appreciate your interest in Mystery Inc., Mr. Cowell. 
:'''Simon Cowell''': Every successful group requires hard work and determination. Identifying potential is what I do, and you have got it. Fred, you're the tank. The muscle.
:'''Fred''': Cool.
:'''Simon Cowell''': Daphne is the people person. The empath. 
:'''Daphne''': Aw. 
:'''Simon Cowell''': And Velma's got the smarts and technical savvy. 
:'''Velma''': Thanks. 
:'''Simon Cowell''': But you two aren't even listening. You're eating a clownishly oversized sandwich.
:'''Shaggy''': Like, sorry, man. You lost us at, &quot;Hard work and determination.&quot;
:'''Scooby''': But you got us back at &quot;sandwich.&quot; 
:'''Simon Cowell''': Look, a group can only be as strong as its weakest links. Bottom line, I can't invest with these two involved. 
:'''Daphne''': But, Mr. Cowell, Shaggy and Scooby are our best friends.
:'''Shaggy''': Yeah, and like, what's more valuable than friendship? 
:'''Simon Cowell''': Literally, anything. You ''can't'' count on friendship. People change. And when you get into real trouble, friendship ''won't'' save the day. 
:'''Shaggy''': Like, we don't need this, Scoob. Let's bounce. 
:'''Scooby''': Yeah, we know when we're not wanted. ''[he and Shaggy leave the diner]''
:'''Daphne''': No. Ugh. Wait.
:'''Fred''': Come on, guys. 
:'''Velma''': He didn't mean it. 
:'''Scooby''': ''[comes back for the fries]'' No fries for ''you''. Hmm! ''[leaves]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Shaggy''': Dude, hang on. Do you realize where we are?
:'''Scooby''': No.
:'''Shaggy''': Look around, man. The clean modern aesthetic. The cool blue color palette. We're in…
:'''Scooby''': [[w:IKEA|IKEA]]!
:'''Shaggy''': The Falcon Fury! Did you say &quot;IKEA&quot;?
:'''Scooby''': Nope. I said &quot;Falcon Fury&quot;. Just like you.
:''[The doors open and Dee Dee Skyes comes to them]''
:'''Dee Dee Skyes''': Gentlemen, welcome aboard. I'm Dee Dee Skyes, pilot of the Falcon Fury.
:'''Shaggy''': Well, we're Scoob—
:'''Dee Dee''': Scooby and Shaggy. We know. Follow me.
:'''Scooby''': Who sent those robots?
:'''Dee Dee''': It's this guy named Dick Dastardly. Shocker! He's a psychotic supervillain. He's trying to ''[mimics cut-throat]'' you.
:'''Shaggy''': Scoob, somebody thinks we're important enough to ''[mimics cut-throat]''.
:'''Scooby''': It's nice to be wanted.
:'''Dee Dee''': Mm, I hear that.
:''[They enter the control room as Shaggy and Scooby are amazed at it]''
:'''Dee Dee''': Yes, I know it's super cool in here, and I would totally let you guys touch random buttons, but they told me we need to move. ''[The lights turn off]'' Seriously? We're doing this now?
:'''Shaggy''': Ooh, is it him? Is it him?
:'''Dee Dee''' Yep. He likes to make an entrance.
:'''Keith''': ''[voice]'' Ladies and gentlemen, since the dawn of time, the falcon has been worshiped as a symbol of freedom and victory.  Now, a new kind of falcon rules the sky. And he is one bad mamma jamma.
:'''Shaggy and Scooby''': Blue Falcon!
:''[''All I Do is Win'' by DJ Khaled ft. Ludacris, Rick Ross, T-Pain and Snoop Dogg plays as Blue Falcon makes an awesome entrance.]''
:'''Blue Falcon''': Welcome to the Falcon Fury. ''[poses; Shaggy and Scooby shudder excitedly]'' Hang on, hang on. Turn on the lights. ''[The lights turn back on]'' Where are my balloons, Dee Dee? When I say &quot;Falcon Fury&quot;, that's supposed to cue the balloons. Keith, what is the deal up there, man?
:'''Keith''': ''[voice]'' I missed the cue.
:'''Blue Falcon''': Duh. You've got one job, pal. Anyway, welcome aboard, I'm Blue Falcon.
:'''Scooby''': No, you're not.
:'''Blue Falcon''' Yes, I am.
:'''Dee Dee''': I told you I wasn't going to be the only one who noticed.
:'''Shaggy''': No, Blue Falcon's suit has a bigger red &quot;F&quot; on the chest, and it's way less, uh, scaly.
:'''Blue Falcon''': They're feathers, all right? And it's called an upgrade. This ain't your daddy's Blue Falcon.
:'''Dynomutt''': I think you mean this ain't ''your'' daddy's Blue Falcon. Allow me to introduce you to Blue Falcon's large adult son, Brian.
:'''Shaggy and Scooby''': Dynomutt!
:'''Blue Falcon ''[whose real name is Brian Crown]''''': Oh, him you recognize?
:'''Shaggy''': Well, sure, man. Dynomutt is the dog wonder. Blue Falcon doesn't go ''anywhere'' without him.
:'''Dynomutt''': And yet, here I am... without him.
:''[Scooby pinches Shaggy]''
:'''Shaggy''': Ow! What was that for?!
:'''Scooby''': Making sure this isn't a dream.
:'''Shaggy''': You're supposed to pinch ''yourself.''
:''[They start to pinch each other until Dee Dee clears her throat as they stop]''
:'''Dee Dee''': Finished?
:'''Scooby''': ''[pinches Shaggy one last time]'' Yes.
:'''Shaggy''': Wait, Brian...
:'''Brian''': Blue Falcon.
:'''Shaggy''': If you're Blue Falcon now...
:'''Brian''': I am.
:'''Shaggy''': Does that mean...?
:'''Brian''': Yes. Regretfully, my father has moved on to a better place. ''[kisses the air]''
:'''Shaggy''': Oh, no!
:'''Brian''': What?! Oh, no, he's not dead, he retired to [[w:Palm Beach, Florida|Palm Beach]].
:'''Dynomutt''': We still miss him very, very, very, very, very...
:'''Brian''': Oh, no, he's glitching.
:'''Dynomutt''': No, I'm not. Let me finish. ...very, very, very much.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dick Dastardly''': Nobody gets away from Dick Dastardly! Right, Rottens? ''[His robotic henchmen salute him.]'' I need what’s on that ship or I’ll never get my treasure. Do. Not. Fail. Me!

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Meanwhile, Fred, Velma, and Daphne talk to Judy Takamoto in the Takamoto Bowl.]''
:'''Judy''': Well, uh, the robots attacked these weird kids, a talking dog and a gangly dude that had this habit of using the word &quot;like&quot; at the start of every sentence. Almost as if he was some middle-aged man's idea of how a teenage hippie talks.  
:'''Daphne''': Oh, that's Scoob and Shaggy all right.  
:'''Fred''': So, what happened?
:'''Judy''': I don’t know. They seemed pretty bummed out. I guess their friends dumped them in a cold-hearted way or something. And then this blue light came down from the sky and beamed them up.
:'''Fred''': Whoa, whoa, whoa, Shaggy and Scooby ''were'' taken?
:'''Judy''': Yeah… I have to assume that if they were with their friends, they wouldn’t have been kidnapped.
:'''Daphne''': ''[hyperventilating]'' I can't...  I can't breathe.
:'''Judy''': Whoever those friends are must be carrying a ton of guilt on their shoulders right about now.
:'''Velma''': Okay, can you skip the emotional punishment and describe the robots, please?
:'''Judy''': Yeah, sure. They look like what’s in this box. ''[gets out a box with the broken robot inside.]''
:'''Fred, Daphne, and Velma''': ''[in unison]'' Whoa!
:''[Outside, the trio were in the Mystery Machine, examining the robot.]''
:'''Velma''': ''[offscreen]'' Guys, this thing is increíble. ''[inside; while examining the robot]'' It’s fully autonomous and capable of modifying its external appearance. I’d like to shake the hand of whoever created this. ''[Fred and Daphne stare at her in shock.]'' And then, you know, throw that hand in prison for trying to kill our friends. Right? Am I right?
:'''Daphne''': ''[notices something]'' Ew.. Is that a hair?
:''[Velma notices a strand of hair on the robot’s claw. She uses some tweezers to pluck it out like a guitar string.]''
:'''Velma''': Maybe this can lead us to our culprit.
:'''Fred''': ''[disgusted]'' What are you doing? You're touching it with bare fingers.  
:'''Velma''': Grow up, Fred. ''[as she puts it in a machine]'' Do you know how many stray hairs the average human eats every day without knowing it?
:'''Fred''': If it's more than zero, I don't wanna know. ''[shudders]''
:'''Velma''': It's more. Much, much more. ''[As she puts the hair in the machine, it scans the hair strand until binary code in a receipt comes out.]'' Huh. Trace amounts of mustache oil, twelve-year-old scotch...
:'''Daphne''': Ugh… is the bad guy my dad?
:'''Velma''': There are also some microscopic soil particles. Composition is a mix of arsenic, selenium, and… Coppertone SPF 50.
:'''Fred''': Anything over 30 is a waste.
:'''Velma''': I’ll see if the combination of these elements matches the geographical location. ''[types in the computer]'' And… bingo! ''[She finds the location in a junkyard called Dastardly Demolition.]'' Dastardly Demolition. County records. Last known owner is… ''[Dastardly’s pic and info appear]'' Dick Dastardly.
:'''Fred''': What would a creep like that want with Scooby and Shaggy?
:'''Velma''': Hmm… let’s see what the police department database has to say. ''[finds the info]'' Ooh! Quite a rep sheet. It looks like he’s wanted for the theft of archeological artifacts from a dig in Peru. ''[She clicks on a video of Dastardly stealing a big dog skull.]''
:'''Dastardly [on footage]''': Tatty bye! ''[evilly laughs]''
:'''Velma''': That looks like a giant dog skull.
:'''Daphne''': Weird.
:'''Velma''': It gets weirder. He also stole the genealogical records of a dozen dogs from the Global Kennel Club. And apparently, he’s been stealing Netflix by using his mother’s account.
:'''Daphne''': ''[gasps]'' That is not fair for the rest of us to have to pay for Netflix!
:'''Fred''': You have to pay for Netflix?!
:'''Velma''': This will not stand. Let’s go get that Dastardly dude.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dee Dee''': To find the second skull, I'm searching every possible location with high fossil density.
:'''Dynomutt''': Brian, quit putting filters on your selfies and get in the game.
:'''Brian''': Woah, woah, what do you think I'm doing? I'm putting my social media feelers out there, Dynobutt.
:'''Shaggy''': ''[offscreen]'' Found it!
:'''Brian''': The second skull?
:'''Shaggy''': No, even better. ''[carrying a lot of food with Scooby]''
:'''Shaggy and Scooby''': The Falcon Fridge!
:'''Scooby''': FYI, you are officially out of... everything. ''[they giggle]''
:'''Brian''': Yes, I love these guys!
:'''Dynomutt''': I'm busting my tail to save the world for him, and he loves the guys who brought treats.
:'''Shaggy''': Prepare your taste buds for a Scoob-Shag specialty.
:''[They both put a lot of ice cream with a jalapeño pepper on top]''
:'''Brian''': Woah, woah! You put jalapeño peppers on your ice cream?
:'''Scooby''': Heat and sweet.
:'''Shaggy''' It's our signature dessert.
:'''Dynomutt and Dee Dee''': Heat signature!
:'''Dee Dee''': That's it! You guys are geniuses!
:'''Scooby''': ''[chuckles]'' We're geniuses.
:'''Shaggy''': Take that, Simon Cowell! ''[they fist bump]''
:'''Dynomutt''': The supernatural energy in that skull would give about a specific heat signature.
:'''Dee Dee''': All we gotta do is locate that spot. ''[locates the location of the second Cerberus skull, which reveals to them]'' Boom! The skull is in [[w:Gobi Desert|the Gobi Desert]].
:'''Brian''': ''[imitates buzzer]'' Incorrect. I just found out where the skull is, and it's ''not'' in the Gobi Desert. It's in {{w|Romania}}.
:'''Shaggy''': Like, how do you know?
:'''Brian''': A hero never reveals his secrets.
:'''Dynomutt''': I believe you're thinking of magicians.
:'''Brian''': I'm always thinking of magicians. But as you must know, I just got a DM from one of my fans who gave me the locayshe.
:'''Dynomutt''': Brian, those are a lot of words no one your age should be using.
:'''Dee Dee''': Sir, this could be a trap set by Dastardly.
:'''Brian''': If it was a trap, why would Anonymous use his own name?
:'''Dee Dee''': Wait, do you think &quot;Anonymous&quot; is the name of a person?
:'''Brian''': Well, based on your tone of voice, I don't anymore.
:'''Dee Dee''': Sir, we should ''really'' go to the Gobi Desert.
:'''Brian''': I hear you. You make a valid point, but we're gonna do my thing, okay? To the Falcon Nest!
:'''Dynomutt''': Brian, last time you listened to someone on the Internet, you thought [[w:Tinder (app)|Tinder]] was an app that delivers firewood.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Elsewhere, on the Mystery Machine...]''
:'''Fred''': Velma, what do you get?
:'''Velma''': I built a sequencing program to cross-match the biographical data that Dastardly stole from the canine registry against Scooby-Doo.
:'''Fred''': Good thing I’m the tank because I could not do any of that.
:'''Daphne''': Any leads?
:'''Velma''': All the dogs, and Scooby, seem to be related.  
:'''Daphne''': Jeepers.
:'''Velma''': If I take Dastardly's work and follow the trail... ''[She scrolls from a pic of Scooby through a long line of descendants until she finds an ancient drawing of...]'' Whoa! Scooby-Doo is the last descendant of Peritas?!
:'''Daphne''': Who’s Peritas?
:'''Velma''': He was Alexander the Great's dog.
:''[On the robot, unaware of it spying on them while broken...]''
:'''Daphne''': Okay, so, Scooby is related to some ancient dog.
:'''Fred''': So, what does that mean?
:'''Velma''': I have no idea.
:'''Daphne''': Guys! This is the most important mystery ever.
:'''Fred''': Yeah. This isn’t about some guy in a rubber mask.
:'''Daphne''': It’s about one of us.
:'''Velma''': Fred, how much longer to Dastardly Demolition?
:'''Fred''': I know a shortcut. ''[drives down a road on the right.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[They arrive in the abandoned amusement park, Funland, in Romania as Brian and Dynomutt step out of the Falcon Fury]''
:'''Brian''': Hustle, you two, we haven't got all day!
:'''Scooby''': ''[whimpers]'' Second thoughts?
:'''Shaggy''': Honestly, buddy, I'm on my 4th or 5th thoughts.
:''[They follow Brian and Dynomutt and went into the amusement park to investigate and find the second skull of Cerberus]''
:'''Shaggy''': Oh, man. This amusement park isn't very amusing. ''[Scooby whimpers]''
:'''Brian''': According to Anonymous, the second skull should be right here.
:''[They look up and see Dastardly's Mean Machine arriving]''
:'''Brian''': Hey, did Dastardly get the anonymous tip, too?
:''[Scooby, Shaggy and Dynomutt glare at him]''
:'''Dastardly''': ''[laughing as he comes out of the Mean Machine with the Rottens while holding a flying Rotten]'' You dim-witted do-gooders, I've already retrieved the second skull from the Gobi Desert!
:'''Dee Dee''': Gobi Desert. Hmm. Where have I heard that before? Oh, right, me! ''[Flies into the amusement park]''
:'''Dynomutt''': ''[activating his missiles]'' Okay, Brian, we've had our differences, but this is the moment where we stand together, and—
:'''Brian''': RUN!
:'''Dynomutt''': ''[sees Scooby, Shaggy and Brian running away; annoyingly]'' Classic Brian. ''[running from the Rottens]'' Dee Dee, you cover Shaggy and Scooby, and I'll run interference.
:''[As Scooby and Shaggy continue running away, Dee Dee flies and fires some of the Rottens and parts of the Mean Machine as Dastardly lowers down and lands to the ground]''
:'''Dastardly''': Stop right there, you filthy animal, and your dog, too!
:'''Shaggy''': This way!
:''[They run into an arcade and barricade the door with old video games, but as one Rotten's head pops out of a whack-a-mole game, they grab mallets and start hitting the Rotten's heads every time they show up, and thus winning points and tickets, then one Rotten shows in it's cute form. They are awed by it at first, but Shaggy hits it with his mallet.]''
:'''Shaggy''': Ha ha! Weak link, my butt.
:''[Dastardly kicks the door open and aims his laser at them]''
:'''Shaggy''': Woah, dude! What do ''you'' want with us?
:'''Dastardly''': ''[chuckles]'' I don't care about ''you.'' You're not ''remotely'' important. It's the ''dog'' I need. ''[fires his laser at Shaggy, which sends him flying]''
:'''Shaggy''': Aaaaaaaaaah!
:'''Scooby''': RAGGY!
:'''Dastardly''': ''[charging to try to grab Scooby]'' Stay! Sit! Heel! ''[Scooby escapes]'' Did nobody train this thing?!
:''[Shaggy continues flying until he lands on the Ferris wheel where Brian is hiding.]''
:'''Brian''': Oh, hey. Look, I know it looks like I'm hiding, but this is actually a superior vantage point.
:''[Scooby runs away from the Rottens, but they corner him, and Scooby runs inside a house of mirrors, which Dastardly is inside and appears in many mirrors.]''
:'''Dastardly''': Scooby-Dooby-Doo! Where are you? ''[Scooby gasps]'' Come on now. Don't be scared. I love dogs. I had a dog myself once. He was an ill-tempered brute with a ghastly underbite, who stunk and caused me endless headaches. He's lost now.
:'''Scooby''': Is he chipped?
:'''Dastardly''': Forget about him. It's all about ''you.'' You, my friend, are special. You see, within you lies a key.
:'''Scooby''': But, I don't have ''your'' key. No pockets.
:'''Dastardly''': No, you ''are'' the key. ''[chuckles]'' Join me, Scooby-Doo, and I will show ''you'' how to harness ''your'' destiny, and become the most important dog in the world.
:'''Scooby''': No thanks, Dastardly.
:'''Dastardly''': Oh, please. My friends call me... ''[reveals himself]'' Dick.
:'''Scooby''': R'OK, Rick.
:'''Dastardly''': No, I'm not Rick. I'm Dick with a D.
:'''Scooby''': Rick with a D.
:'''Dastardly''': ''[grumbles]'' Da-Da-Da-Dick.
:'''Scooby''': Ra-ra-ra-Rick.
:'''Dastardly''': '''Dick, Dick, *DIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!*''' ''[Hears the sounds of a door closing and realizes that Scooby escaped using the exit door]'' Drat.
:''[The Rottens fire at the Ferris wheel]''
:'''Shaggy''': Brian, do something!
:'''Brian''': Like what?!
:'''Shaggy''': Like drop some F-bombs!
:'''Brian''': Hey man, whoa, let's keep it PG!
:'''Shaggy''': No! Falcon bombs!
:'''Brian''': You know, my utility belt has so many pouches.
:'''Shaggy''': There right there!
:'''Brian''': Oh! ''[pulls out his falcon bomb]'' 12,000,000,000,000 volts, brother. You wanna throw it?
:'''Shaggy''': Do I ever! ''[grabs the falcon bomb and lights it]'' Bombs away!
:''[He throws the falcon bomb, but it hits an edge and lands back in, then they frantically play Hot Potato with the falcon bomb until Shaggy throws it down the controls, which explodes and lights up the Ferris wheel and it's bolt detaches, making the Ferris wheel roll with them still on it screaming]''
:'''Dastardly''': ''[searching for Scooby-Doo]'' Here boy! Where are you?
:''[Scooby slowly pops out of a bumper car where he's hiding and sighs in relief, thinking he lost him, but he turns, sees Dastardly right in front of him and screams.]''
:'''Scooby''': Ahhh!
:'''Dastardly''': You're mine, Scooby-Doo!
:''[Dynomutt kicks Dastardly]''
:'''Dynomutt''': Sit! ''[Dastardly lands behind another bumper car]'' Good boy. You can start screaming... ''[activates his boosters]'' ...now.
:''[They escape on Scooby's bumper car as the Rottens get under Dastardly's bumper car]''
:'''Dastardly''': Follow that dog!
:''[They follow Scooby and Dynomutt in hot pursuit as the Ferris wheel continues to roll until it hits a roller coaster, sending Shaggy and Brian to a roller coaster car, which it rolls on the roller coaster]''
:'''Dynomutt''': Brian!
:'''Scooby''': ''[gasps]'' Raggy!
:''[They follow them on the roller coaster car as Dastardly follows them on the roller coaster]''
:'''Shaggy''': I hate the loops! ''[they went over the loop, which sends them falling off the roller coaster car and into Scooby's bumper car]''
:'''Dastardly''': Give ''me'' that dog!
:'''Scooby''': Raggy!
:'''Shaggy''': Scooby!
:'''Brian''': Everybody say, &quot;#FoxyFalcon!&quot;
:'''Scooby, Shaggy and Dynomutt''': #FoxyFalcon!
:''[They ride off the track, sending them flying, but the tractor beam pulls them up into the Falcon Fury, leaving Dastardly falling with his bumper car]''
:'''Dastardly''': DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!! ''[lands on the ground, leaving his impact silhouette on it]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[In the Falcon Fury, the car floats in the air while Scooby and Shaggy float up.]''
:'''Shaggy''': ''[unamused]'' Not again.
:''[They then fall to the floor.]''
:'''Dee Dee''': Dastardly will be back. Please tell me you got some leads?
:'''Scooby''': Dastardly said I ''was'' the key.
:'''Dee Dee''': The key to what?
:'''Brian''': Ah-ha! I knew this guy was special!
:'''Dynomutt''': Why? Because the bad guy said so?
:'''Brian''': Exactly. ''[to Shaggy]'' What did Dastardly say about ''you''?
:'''Shaggy''': Well, I believe his exact words were, &quot;I don't care about ''you''. You're not ''remotely'' important.&quot; And, &quot;It's the ''dog'' I need.&quot;
:'''Brian''': Harsh.
:'''Shaggy''': Then shot me through the wall.
:'''Brian''': Really harsh. But, on the bright side, your friend here is super important. Now let's get that dog a hero suit!  
:'''Shaggy''': Huh?
:'''Dynomutt''': Shouldn’t we be focusing on finding that third skull before Dastardly?
:'''Dee Dee''': Or why Scooby is so important? It could be a clue to...
:'''Brian''': Details. Alright, first things first. Come on, Scooby-Doo!
:'''Scooby''': Cool! ''[walks off with Brian]''
:'''Shaggy''': ''[confused]'' Uh...  Right behind you, Scoob. ''[He, Dee Dee and Dynomutt followed]''
:''[Meanwhile, on the Dick Dastardly-like crater, the villain gets himself up.]''
:'''Dastardly''': Drat, drat, and double drat! ''[Dick’s watch rings. He answers.]'' What is it?
:''[The red damaged bot was on his watch, telling them about...]''
:'''Dastardly''': ''[gasps; gets an idea]'' Scooby-Doo’s friends. How perfect! Send ''me'' their location immediately!
:''[The red bot was transferring Mystery Inc’s location.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Meanwhile, the Mystery Machine was still on the road.]''
:'''Daphne''': Hurry, Fred! Shaggy and Scooby are in trouble and your shortcut to Dastardly Demolition is taking forever!
:'''Velma''': Technically, this route is 73 meters longer than the highway.
:'''Fred''': Meters, Velma? I don’t even know what that means. What are we, in Europe? ''[He steers the van around some passing cars.]''
:'''Velma''': You know, for the record, it’s a quantitatively superior measurement system. Get with the program, Fred.
:'''Fred''': Oh, you mean like your program? ''[imitates Velma]'' I’m Velma! Beep boop bop. The world is ones and zeroes.
:'''Velma''': Maybe if you spend more time reading books, then…
:'''Daphne''': Guys! Stop. Why are we fighting?
:'''Fred, Daphne, and Velma''': ''[realized]'' We didn’t eat lunch!
:'''Fred''': Oh, we’re just hangry.
:'''Velma''': Ever since Shag and Scoob disappeared, there’s been no one to feed us ridiculous sandwiches for breakfast.
:'''Daphne''': ''[sighs]'' I miss them.
:'''Fred''': Oh, me too. Those little butter spreads on top of the best.
:'''Daphne''': No, the guys. Not the sandwiches.
:'''Velma''': I miss them, too.
:''[Velma pulls out her phone to show some photos of Scooby and Shaggy before coming to a recorded video. It shows Mystery Inc getting ready to take a group selfie.]''
:'''Shaggy [on video]''': Ready?
:'''Scooby [on video]''': Ready!
:''[Everyone made big smiles, unaware that it was on video.]''
:'''Daphne [on video]''': Okay, Shaggy, take the picture.  
:'''Fred [on video]''': Hurry up and take it. This hurts my face.  
:'''Velma [on video]''': Shaggy, you have it on video.
:'''Shaggy [on video]''': Oops! Sorry.
:''[He turns off the recording. Then, a text appears showing the two with Blue Falcon and Dynomutt.]''
:'''Velma''': Jinkies! Scooby and Shaggy are with Blue Falcon?
:'''Fred''': Of course! Blue light, beamed up. That’s the Falcon Fury!
:'''Velma''': How do you know so much about superheroes and so little about the metric system?
:'''Fred''': Because I am an American man.
:'''Daphne''': Oh, I’m so happy they’re okay!
:''[Just then, they hear a police siren behind them.]''
:'''Velma''': Oh, no.
:'''Jaffe''': ''[offscreen]'' Pull over.
:'''Fred''': Oh, boy.
:''[They pull over at the side of the road.]''
:'''Fred''': Okay, guys, let me do the talking. I've seen cops like six times. So I know exactly what to say. Good evening, Officer... ''[As he looked at the officer, it was actually a female officer.]''
:'''Daphne''': Fred, say something!
:'''Fred''': Hi.
:'''Jaffe''': Do you kids have any idea how fast you were going? ''[The racing car speeds passes]''
:'''Fred''': Was it, uh, too fast? 
:'''Daphne''': ''[groans]'' Funny story, Officer. We were rushing to capture this evil villain who we thought was trying to kill our friends.
:'''Jaffe''': Uh-huh. Step out of the vehicle. All of you.
:''[Fred, Daphne and Velma gets out of the Mystery Machine]''
:'''Velma''': You've gotta believe us, Officer. This guy is really dangerous.
:'''Jaffe''': Ooh, dangerous. Sounds like he's a... handsome guy.
:'''Daphne''': Oh, no, no. Bulbous nose. Huge chin.  
:'''Jaffe''': Yeah, but in a cool way, like [[Gérard Depardieu]].
:'''Daphne''': No, in a super gross way.  
:'''Velma''': Like a rat and a mound of hair had a baby. 
:'''Jaffe''': ''[in Dastardly's voice]'' ''How dare you!'' ''[rips herself off, revealing Dastardly]''
:'''Daphne and Velma''': ''[In unison, shocked]'' Dick Dastardly?!
:'''Fred''': ''[shocked]'' I’ve so many… mixed feelings.
:'''Velma''': How did ''you'' find us?
:'''Dastardly''': Oh, let’s just say I had… ''[opens the front door of the Mystery Machine]'' ...inside information.
:''[The red bot climbs out of the Mystery Machine and turns to the scorpion bot. Two more come out of the back of the police cruiser. Wasp bots flew out of the police car as well.]''
:'''Dastardly''': ''You'' have the right to remain silent. ''[The robots chased after Fred, Daphne and Velma.]'' And everything ''you'' said about ''my'' face! ''[They pin Fred, Daphne and Velma down on the ground.]'' Will be used ''against you'' in a court of claw! ''[The giant claw from the Mean Machine above comes down and grabs the Mystery Machine going up and the robots takes Fred, Daphne and Velma up to the airship.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Fred''': Velma?
:''[Velma comes to Fred and they see a study board of the history of Cerberus. The gang were in awe.]''
:'''Fred''': ''[grabs a pic of an ancient lock]'' Check it. That's a lock. But to where?
:'''Daphne''': ''[sees another pic and gasps]'' The Gates to the Underworld.
:'''Velma''': ''[serious face]'' It all makes sense now…
:'''Fred''': Oh, boy. That's the serious face.  We always get in trouble after that face.
:'''Velma''': Alexander the Great and Peritas conquered the world  and built the gates to protect their enormous treasure. That's where the lock comes in. Only Alexander or Peritas can unlock it.  Or one of their descendants.
:'''Daphne''': ''[gasps]'' Dastardly's going to use Scooby to unlock the Gates to the Underworld.
:'''Fred''': So what? What happens then?
:'''Velma''': Then all hell breaks loose. Literally. There's more than treasure behind those gates.
:'''Fred''': Aw, jinkies. ''[Velma looks at him funny]'' What? I’m sorry! Someone had to say it.
:'''Velma''': Look over there.
:''[They find a memorial shrine with memorabilia like an old flight helmet, a stuffed pigeon, and a portrait of a dog named Muttley. Next to it shows Dick and Muttley on a magazine.]''
:'''Daphne and Velma''': Whoa.
:''[Daphne sees a dog bowl on the desk and picks it up. she reads the name on the bowl]''
:'''Daphne''': &quot;Muttley.&quot;
:''[Suddenly the door opens they see Dastardly and the Rottens burst into the room.]''
:'''Dastardly''': Put that down! ''[Fred puts the pic in his shirt while he snatches the bowl.]'' ''You'' have no right to be in here, Mystery Morons!
:'''Fred''': It’s Mystery Inc!
:'''Velma''': Yeah, Fred, he knows.
:'''Daphne''': Who is Muttley?
:'''Dastardly''': ''[puts the bowl on the table and looks at portrait of Muttley]'' Muttley was my partner, my criminal co-conspirator, until... until...
:''[Flashback begins with a portal to the underworld opening]''
:'''Dastardly [voice-over]''': I opened a portal, a back door to the underworld, and through it, a glowing gold vision. ''[He and Muttley laugh and celebrate, then he throws Muttley to fetch gold for him]'' As I was about to enter, Muttley insisted on taking the risk himself.
:'''Muttley''': ''[grumbling]'' Rasm-Frasm. Ingrate. ''[He feels a forcefield in the portal]''
:'''Dastardly [voice-over]''': I pleaded to him, &quot;Muttley, please don't do this.&quot; But no, the flatulent fleabag wouldn't listen to reason.
:'''Muttley''': ''[grumbles as he enters the underworld through the portal and takes the treasure]'' Ta-da!
:'''Dastardly''': Good boy, Muttley. Bring it. Yes, yes, come on.
:''[Muttley is about to return to the ship with the treasure, but the forcefield blocks him from returning]''
:'''Dastardly [voice-over]''': But that ticket was a one-way trip.
:'''Dastardly''': Muttley?
:'''Dastardly [voice-over]''': Even if I'd opened a billion portals, he could never come back.
:'''Muttley''': ''[continues to struggle through the portal with the treasure, then he turns around and sees Cerberus, who is offscreen, coming towards him]'' Uh-oh.
:'''Dastardly''': Muttley! Oh, no. No! Get out of there! ''[As the portal is getting destroyed, Muttley continues struggling through the portal, but Cerberus grabs Muttley, thus trapping him in the underworld forever.]'' Muttley! ''[echoes]'' '''''MUTTLEY!!!!!!'''''
:''[The portal is now destroyed as the flashback ends]''
:'''Dastardly''': Because Muttley isn't the key. ''[curtain shuts]'' Return them to their cell!
:'''Velma''': Please, Dastardly, lf ''you'' unlock those gates you’re…
:''[The Rottens takes Fred, Velma and Daphne back to the cells]''
:'''Dastardly''': ''[grabs Fred]'' Poor man’s Hemsworth stays with ''me''.
:'''Fred''': How dare you. Wait, [[Chris Hemsworth|Chris]] or [[Liam Hemsworth|Liam?]] ''[Dastardly pulls him grunts]''
:'''Daphne''': What are ''you'' doing with him?!
:'''Dastardly''': Oh I have grand plans for Freddie boy. ''[door closes]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[The Falcon Force arrive on Mystery Island and they step out the Falcon Fury to find the third skull of Cerberus]''
:'''Shaggy''': OK, Falcon Force, good luck! Bring back that skull! Scooby and I will stay on the ship. You know, where it's safe and secure.
:'''Brian''': Dude, I'm pretty sure Scooby is gonna be safest with us. We're ''literally'' superheroes.
:'''Shaggy''': ''[chuckles]'' No, ''you'' don't get it. We're chickens and we always stick together, so we're staying here. ''[sees Scooby about to leave the ship]'' Scoob?
:'''Brian''': Scoob's clearly important to whatever Dastardly's got planned. ''We'' need him.
:'''Scooby''': Yeah. ''I'm'' the key.
:'''Shaggy''': The key? ''You're'' not the key. You're my best friend. At least I ''thought'' you were until ''you'' whipped off ''your'' collar.
:'''Scooby''': ''[cross]'' ''My collar?'' ''You'' gave ''me'' the nod!
:'''Shaggy''': But I didn't think you'd really ''do'' it!
:'''Scooby''': Just ''come'' with ''us''.
:'''Shaggy''': &quot;Us&quot;?! ''You're'' an &quot;us&quot; now?! Well, what happened to us-us?!
:'''Scooby''': Raggy.
:'''Shaggy''': ''You'' need to choose. Now, ''I'm'' staying on the ship. Are ''you'' staying with ''me'', or going with ''them?''
:'''Scooby''': ''That's not fair!''
:'''Shaggy''': ''[angrily]'' ''Choose!'' ''[Scooby scowls at him and leaves off with the Falcon Force to find the skull]'' I never thought I'd say this, but Simon Cowell was right! &quot;You ''can't'' count on friendship!&quot; ''[Scooby is upset]''
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
[[File:Captain Caveman cosplay.jpg|thumb|Hello! Your tiny little brains probably can't understand me, so I will speak slowly, so that you may process the welcoming tones of my voice.]]
:''[As Scooby and Brian continue to find the third Cerberus skull, they encounter Captain Caveman]''
:'''Captain Caveman''': Hello! Your tiny little brains probably can't understand me, so I will speak slowly, so that you may process the welcoming tones of my voice.
:'''Scooby''': Uh, we understand you perfectly.
:'''Captain Caveman''': Oh, word? No disrespect. So, what brings you guys to Mystery Island?
:'''Scooby''': We're looking for a skull.
:'''Brian''': Yeah, it's about a yea high and full of sharp, pointy teeth.
:'''Captain Caveman''': You mean the slaghoople?
:'''Both''': Um, sure.
:'''Captain Caveman''': Why didn't you say so? Follow me. And mind the pterodactyl droppings.
:''[A pterodactyl poops as it flies by and the poop lands in front of them, much to Scooby and Brian's disgust]''
:'''Captain Caveman''': But if you get some on you, rub it in. It's just like lotion.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[On the Falcon Fury, Shaggy walks through the atrium]''
:'''Shaggy''': Huh?
:''[A holographic person pushes a tray labeled, &quot;For Incineration&quot;, with two canisters and Scooby's collar. Shaggy grabs the collar and gazes at it with a sad whistful expression. A flashback shows his young self putting the collar on puppy Scooby, then hugging him]''
:'''Young Shaggy''': I'll never leave you. No matter what.
:''[In the present, Shaggy continues to stare sadly at Scooby's collar in his hands. He hears a horn honking and puts the collar in his pocket. Outside, Fred waves from the Mystery Machine]''
:'''Fred''': Hey!
:'''Shaggy''': ''[happily]'' Fred?
:'''Fred''': Shaggy?
:'''Shaggy''': Fred!
:'''Fred''': Shaggy! ''[hugs him]''
:'''Shaggy''': How'd you get here? And where are Daphne and Velma?
:'''Fred''': Dastardly kidnapped us, and was holding us captive on his super awesome airship. Jeez, that thing is cool! Never mind. Where's Scooby-Doo? Has he been taken?
:'''Shaggy''': No, he's with his new &quot;hero&quot; friends. We're on a break, and you've missed a lot.
:'''Fred''': Shaggy, Scooby-Doo is in grave danger, and Dastardly is on his way here right now, and he won't stop until he gets him.
:'''Shaggy''': Dastardly? Then we can't let that happen.
:'''Fred''': Exactly! Now, take ''me'' to Scooby-Doo. ''[motions to the Mystery Machine]''
:''[Scooby and Brian followed Captain Caveman to the arena]''
:'''Captain Caveman''': As it turns out, I wasn't even a velociraptor's father. Any who, there it is, the slaghoople. ''[reveals the last Cerberus skull to them in the arena]''
:'''Scooby''': Brian, we found the last skull!
:'''Brian''': Mission accomplished! Now, if you would give us a hand carrying out, we'll take it back to our jet.
:'''Captain Caveman''': Uh-uh-uh. The only way to take the slaghoople is to defeat the protector in battle, and that's me.
:'''Scooby''': You?
:'''Brian''': Scooby, this is it. It's my hero moment. I could totally pound the crap out of this little guy.
:'''Scooby''': Doesn't ''sound'' heroic.
:'''Brian''': ''[to Captain Caveman]'' Hey, you're on. But I think you're gonna need a few friends.
:'''Captain Caveman''': Oh, I've got friends, and they do like a good show.
:''[He claps his hands twice, which closes the wooden gate, then a group of cavemen and cavewomen appear to watch the battle]''
:'''Captain Caveman''': All right now, let's get our fight on!
:''[A caveman blows a turtle horn as the battle starts]''
:'''Brian''': Come at me, ''little man!''
:''[The caveman group gasp in shock]''
:'''Captain Caveman''': Little?! Did you just call me little?!
:'''Scooby''': No, he said big.
:'''Brian''': I ''did'' call you little, pipsqueak.
:'''Scooby''': He said big squeak.
:'''Captain Caveman''': You can call me... ''[Activates his club, which opens to reveal a sledgehammered dinosaur, then jumps into the air]'' '''''Captain CAAAAAVEMAAAAAAANNNN!!!!!'''''
:''[He flies down and struck Brian with his club, leaving half of his body in the ground]''
:'''Captain Caveman''': I know I'm small. It's a pituitary thing. ''[hits Brian, sending him flying to a wall]'' Are you not entertained?!
:'''Dynomutt''': ''[as he and Dee Dee witness the battle]'' Brian! Come on.
:'''Brian''': Dynomutt is right. ''[Falls off the wall, which a piece of it falls on him]'' I'm not my dad.
:'''Cavewomen Cheerleaders''': Ra ra, ra ra ra!
:'''Brian''': ''[gets up from underneath the piece of the wall]'' Scooby, help!
:'''Scooby''': What do I do?!
:'''Brian''': Use the suit thingies!
:'''Captain Caveman''': ''[lands on the piece of the wall]'' Who's your captain?
:'''Cavewomen Cheerleaders''': Captain Caveman!
:''[Captain Caveman is about to face Scooby, when Scooby himself presses a button, which activates hover boards under his paws, which he moves foolishly, much to the cavemen's amusement, then Scooby moves the hover boards to face Captain Caveman as the crowd cheers]''
:'''Captain Caveman''': Wow, you're doing great. ''[Scooby launches a claw at him, but he grabs the string]'' I almost hate to do this to you. ''[He pulls the string and spins him]'' Spin it to win it!
:'''Scooby''': I want my Raggy!
:''[Captain Caveman spins him like a top until his super suit breaks, much to his embarrassment]''
:'''Dee Dee''': You make a break for the skull, I'll pick up Brian and Scooby.
:'''Dynomutt''': On it.
:'''Dee Dee''': ''[as Captain Caveman is about to finish Scooby off]'' Leave him alone! ''[activates her stick and fights Captain Caveman]''
:'''Captain Caveman''': I love a challenge like I love dinosaur eggs, over-easy!
:''[The Mystery Machine, ridden by Fred and Shaggy rides into the stadium]''
:'''Dynomutt''': Uh...
:'''Shaggy''': Look out!
:''[Fred moves the van around where the skull is and stops]''
:'''Captain Caveman''': Dang, those are some dope wheels! ''[Dynomutt fires his missiles at him, sending him to a wall, leaving his impact silhouette on it]'' Whatever wheels are!
[[File:The Mystery Machine at Yanks Air Museum.jpg|thumb|&quot;Where did that anachronistic van come from?&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Fred brought it, but that's not important.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;How'd he get the van to a prehistoric world hidden miles beneath the North Pole?&quot;]]
:'''Shaggy''': ''[gets out of the Mystery Machine]'' Scooby!
:'''Scooby''': Raggy? How'd you get here?
:'''Shaggy''': No, let me go first. Scoob-
:'''Dynomutt''': ''[interrupting]'' Where did that anachronistic van come from?
:'''Shaggy''': Fred brought it, but that's not important.
:'''Dee Dee''': ''[puzzled]'' How'd ''he'' get the van to a prehistoric world hidden miles beneath the North Pole?
:''[Fred gets out of the Mystery Machine]''
:'''Shaggy''': I don't know. Why don't you ask Fred because…
:'''Brian''': ''[confused]'' Who's Fred?
:'''Shaggy''': ''[continued]'' …right now, I need to tell Scoob—
:'''Fred''': ''[in Dastardly's voice; laughs]'' Not ''me!'' ''[kicks Shaggy to the ground with his foot, snares Scooby with a catch pole, and rips himself off, revealing Dastardly]''
:'''Shaggy, Brian, Dynomutt and Dee Dee''': ''[In unison, shocked]'' Dick Dastardly?!
:'''Dastardly''': That's right, and your &quot;foolish&quot; friend led ''me'' straight to ''you!'' ''[The Mean Machine arrives above the arena]''
:'''Shaggy''': ''[looks up]'' Oh, no!
:''[The flying Rottens come out of the Mean Machine and attack all of the cavemen as they retreat]''
:'''Dastardly''': If you will excuse me, ''I'' have a treasure to collect.
:''[The Mean Machine's grabbing claw grabs the last Cerberus skull as Dastardly get on the skull with Scooby]''
:'''Scooby''': RAGGY!!!!
:'''Shaggy''': SCOOBY!!!!
:'''Dastardly''': Oh, and I almost forgot to take out the rubbish.
:''[The Rottens throw out Daphne, Velma and the real Fred out of the airship, but Dee Dee and Dynomutt catch Daphne and Velma]''
:'''Brian''': Whoa, nice catch! ''[Fred lands in his arms]'' 'Sup?
:'''Dastardly''': Ta-ta! See you all in {{w|Athens}}. Oh, no you won't! Because the only way out is with a jet.
:'''Brian''': Well, good thing we have one!
:'''Dastardly''': Oh, ''do you'' now? ''[evilly laughs as he gets on the Mean Machine with the skull and Scooby and the airship flies away]''
:'''Brian''': There's something about the way ''he'' said, &quot;''do you''?&quot; ''[Shaggy, Fred, Daphne, Dynomutt, Dee Dee and Velma looks at him]'' and then laughed that makes me think ''he'' did something to ''our'' ship.
:''[Scene switches to the Falcon Force and Mystery Inc. on the beach with the Falcon Fury now destroyed]''
:'''Brian''': ''[groans and drops Fred]'' I hate it when I'm right.
:'''Dynomutt''': We're lucky it doesn't happen often.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Mystery Inc. look through the ruins of the Falcon Fury as Shaggy picks up a sock, which gets disgusted at it, and Falcon Force looks at the destroyed engine.]''
:'''Dee Dee''': ''[sighs]'' The primary engine is destroyed. The thrusters are intact, but ''they're'' way too small to launch the ship.
:'''Brian''': So, ''we're'' stuck here? ''[Dee Dee nods as he glares at Shaggy and walks towards him with his finger pointing at him]'' Well, maybe if ''your'' little buddy ''didn't'' lead the bad guy right to ''us''...
:'''Fred''': ''[angrily runs in front of Brian]'' ''Leave Shaggy alone!'' ''[shoves Brian away from Shaggy, with Dee Dee, Dynomutt and Daphne shocked]''
:'''Velma''': ''[annoyed]'' Yeah, what kind of hero ''blames'' other people for ''his'' problems?
:'''Dynomutt''': Meet Brian.
:'''Brian''': ''[angrily]'' Hey, ''you'' shut ''your'' dog face!
:'''Dynomutt''': ''[angrily]'' ''You'' shut ''your'' face-face!
:'''Fred''': ''[angrily]'' Because of ''you'', Scooby-Doo ''has'' a first-class ticket to the ''[points his finger towards Brian]'' '''''dogpocalypse!'''''
:'''Brian''': ''[angrily towards Fred with a double-point finger]'' Don't ''you'' point ''your'' finger at ''me!''
:'''Fred''':  ''[angrily towards Brian]'' Well, don't double-point ''your'' finger at ''me!''
:'''Brian''': Maybe, I'll triple-finger point at ''you!''
:'''Fred''': Then, obviously I'm gonna quadruple-finger point at ''you!''
:'''Brian''': Ha! That's just a wave, dipstick! ''[He and Fred start to fight]''
:'''Daphne''': Hey, get off of ''him!''
:'''Dee Dee''': ''He's'' the one that started it!
:''[Daphne, Velma, Dee Dee and Dynomutt run towards Fred and Brian to try to break up their fight, Shaggy shocked.]''
:'''Velma''': Toxic masculinity!
:'''Shaggy''': ''[run towards them to try to break up their fight]'' Stop! ''[pushing Brian and Fred]'' STOP IT, ''ALL OF YOU!'' ''[Everyone stops the fight]'' It's ''my'' fault. ''I'm'' to blame.  I let my own jealousy break me and Scooby up. ''[Dynomutt, Brian, Dee Dee, Fred, Velma and Daphne looks worried]'' ''I'' was afraid that with ''his'' new suit and ''his'' new team, things were gonna change. ''[Dynomutt, Brian, Dee Dee, Fred, Velma and Daphne hangs their heads, he sighs, then cheers up]'' And ''they'' did change. ''[Dynomutt, Brian, Dee Dee, Fred, Velma and Daphne knows what does Shaggy meaning they did change]'' But, like, that's… that's OK. People can grow. But it doesn't mean that ''we're'' growing apart. ''[stands on a rock]'' Because the one thing that will never change is that Scooby-Doo is my best friend. 10 years ago, a little boy made a promise to a stray puppy that he'd never leave him. No matter what. And ''I'm'' gonna keep that promise. Now, it's time we stop ''this'' mustachioed menace from opening the gates to the underpass…
:'''Dee Dee''': Underworld.
:'''Shaggy''': …and letting loose the fearsome sippy-cup.
:'''Dynomutt''': Cerberus.
:'''Shaggy''': So what do you say we get out of Middle-earth…
:'''Brian''': Copyright infringement.
:'''Shaggy''': …and go get my always-snacking, never-lacking, often-napping dog back? Who's with ''me''?
:'''Daphne, Velma, Fred, Dee Dee, Brian and Dynomutt''': ''[In unison]'' ''We are!''
:'''Shaggy''': Let's do this!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
[[File:Attica 06-13 Athens 50 View from Philopappos - Acropolis Hill.jpg|thumb|]]
:''[After Fred, Daphne Velma and Shaggy and the Falcon Force crash the Mystery Machine in Athens]''
:'''Scooby''': No! NO!
:'''Dick Dastardly''': I told you, you were the most important dog in the world. Now, let me show you why! ''[begins moving Scooby, forcing him to place his paw on the gate to the underworld, in which he does]'' And the slipper fits! ''[The gate to the underworld activates]'' It's happening! It's finally happening!
:''[As the gate to the underworld opens, a gigantic monstrous three-headed dog, Cerberus, comes out. Dastardly gasps while Scooby is shocked before Cerberus howls fearsomely, snarling threateningly]''
:'''Dastardly''': Uh, oh! Little more than I bargained for! ''[Cerberus growls again; intimidated, to Scooby]'' If I were you, I'd '''''RUUUUUUUUUUN!'''''
:''[Everyone starts to panic, scream and run away from the giant Cerberus, while Scooby runs with the other civilians away from Cerberus, Dastardly runs to hide by the gate to the underworld]''
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Scooby frees the gang from the crashed Mystery Machine]''
:'''Scooby''': You guys are alive!
:'''Shaggy''': Scooby-Doo!
:''[Shaggy hugs him]''
:'''Daphne''': Scooby!
:'''Fred''': Ya-hoo!
:''[The rest of the gang comes in for a group hug]''
:'''Daphne''': Oh, thank goodness. The gang is finally back together.
:'''Shaggy''': ''[to Scooby]'' Buddy, I never meant to…
:'''Scooby''': I know. Me neither.
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[In the Underworld, Dastardly walks in a huge hole in the ground. His eyes widen as he spots a valley of gold treasure]''
:'''Dastardly''': At long last! My treasure! ''[laughs excitedly as he pushes a gold statue and a chest out of his way, then looks heartbroken when he sadly spots Muttley's body lying down]'' Oh, no! I'm too late. ''[crouches down]'' I've been searching for years, my friend, and I didn't make it in time. ''[hugs his motionless dog, who smacks his lips and wakes up]'' I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. There are so many things we never got to do together. ''[sobs as Muttley snickers; confused]'' Huh? ''[looks at him while holding him by his armpits]'' You're alive?
:''[Muttley snickers again]''
:'''Dastardly''': ''[angrily]'' You're alive! You cantankerous canine! How could you do that to me?! ''[pounds Muttley's head]''
:'''Muttley''': ''[growls angrily as he rubs his head]'' Rasm-Frasm. ''[bites Dastardly's leg]''
:'''Dastardly''': Stop! I'm not joking! Stop! ''[shakes Muttley off of his leg. As they growl at each other while attempting to attack, he cringes]'' Oh! I… ''[happily]'' …can't stay mad! You're alive! ''[lifts Muttley while laughing and swings him around in circles]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dynomutt''': Brian, what are you doing back here?
:'''Brian''': ''[pulls out his phone]'' Calling my dad. ''[Dynomutt, not amused, turns off the call.]'' Hey!
:'''Dynomutt''': You don’t need your dad.
:'''Brian''': Yes, I do. Alright? ''He’s'' the hero. ''I’m'' not. I ''can’t'' win this.
:'''Dynomutt''': So what? Look at Scooby and Shaggy! They're terrified, and they're taking on Cerberus!
:''[They see Scooby and Shaggy running in a chariot from Cerberus]''
:'''Shaggy''': I'm terrified!
:'''Scooby''': Why are we taking on Cerberus?!
:'''Dynomutt''': Well, in their own unique way.  
:'''Brian''': So you're saying it's heroic to be scared, and even to lose sometimes? ''[Dynomutt nods.]'' Dude, this is it! This is my hero moment. My real hero moment!
:'''Dynomutt''': And it’s my moment, too. My job is to have your back. So what do you say, Blue Falcon?
:''[Brian smiles softly at Dynomutt and the two grab hands.]''
:'''Brian''': ''[sniffs]'' Okay, now I’m crying.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Dastardly and Muttley run out of the Underworld while carrying a handful of gold bars, diamonds and the chest]''
:'''Dastardly''': Farewell, fools!
:'''Muttley''': ''Sayanora'', suckers!
:'''Fred''': Dastardly?!
:'''Dastardly''': We're rich!
:'''Muttley''': Rasm-Frasm. Money bath! Heh-heh-heh-heh!
&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[when Scooby, Shaggy, Mystery Inc. and Falcon Force defeat Cerberus by using the Rottens as bowling balls to make it slip and fall back into the realm of the Underworld]''
:'''Shaggy''': Man, looks like we just ''spared'' the world!
:'''Scooby''': ''[chuckles]'' Bowling puns!
:'''Shaggy''': ''[he and Scooby fistbump]'' This is so us!
:''[Everyone shuts the gate to the Underworld, trapping Cerberus]''
:'''Shaggy''': OK, so how do we lock that puppy up? ''[Velma, Daphne and Fred look at each other, then at Scooby and Shaggy, worriedly]'' What?
:'''Velma''': One of you has to hold the gates shut here…
:'''Daphne''': …while one of you locks them from… inside the Underworld.
:'''Shaggy''': ''[distraught]'' What? No! There has to be another way. Right, Velma?
:'''Velma''': Alexander the Great built these gates to be locked only by him… and his dog, Peritas. As the last descendant of Peritas, Scooby has to do it.
:'''Daphne''': But the prophecy says he needs his best friend to help him.
:'''Fred''': That's you, Shaggy.
:''[Shaggy and Scooby look at each other, before the latter looks towards the gate with the rotating lock with a handprint and pawprint on two different sides. Scooby then looks on in determination and courage]''
:'''Scooby''': There's no other way. ''I'm'' the key. I'll go.
:'''Shaggy''': No.
:''[Scooby then makes his way to the gate, with everyone looking at him gloomily; he then stops by the lock, as he prepares to place his paw on it, but all of a sudden, Shaggy slaps the two-sided lock, flipping it to the handprint side]''
:'''Shaggy''': It says one of us had to be on the inside, but it doesn't say which one.
:'''Scooby''': ''[worried]'' No!
:''[Scooby flips the lock back to the pawprint side, making Shaggy gasp; both Shaggy and Scooby then flip the lock to either the handprint or pawprint sides of the lock, before Shaggy stood in front of it when it was turned to the handprint side, which Scooby accidentally slaps him multiple times to prevent him from touching the lock]''
:'''Shaggy''': ''[grabbing Scooby's paw and calming him down]'' Buddy, back when we were kids, you saved me. Now it's ''my'' turn. ''[then places his hand on the lock's handprint side, activating the gate in which Shaggy then disappears]''
:'''Scooby''': ''[horrified]'' No! ''Don't!'' Raggy, wait! '''''No!'''''
:''[Scooby gasps, after the gate to the Underworld then locks, before Shaggy appears on the lock from the other side of the gate, then saddened]''
:'''Scooby''': Raggy.
:'''Shaggy''': Scoob, you're the best friend I could ever ask for. ''[sighs]'' And you always will be.
:''[As the gate completely locks, Scooby whimpers as he watches the lock's reflection of Shaggy dissipate, turning into a glowing green lock of the pawprint; Scooby then saddenly places his paw on the pawprint, which makes the entire gate as well as the entire ancient temple to vanish back into the temple's present state; Scooby then whimpers and then starts sobbing, howling and mourning the loss of his friend. The gang comes over to him and gives him a comforting hug as themselves and the Falcon Force grieved about Shaggy as well.]''
:'''Scooby''': ''[sobs]'' Raggy... ''[Daphne, Velma and Scooby sobbing]''
:'''Velma''': Are we missing something? &quot;A pair whose friendship forever grows.&quot; ''[wipes her eyes]'' Does it mean something else?
:'''Daphne''': ''[looks Scooby in the eyes]'' I think it means that Scoob and Shaggy's friendship will live on... whether ''they're'' together or not. ''[hugs Scooby]''
:'''Velma''': But...why would Alexander make a gate that would separate him from his best friend forever?
:'''Fred''': He must have built a way out.
:'''Daphne''': ''[looking behind Velma]'' Uh, guys?
:''[A statue of Alexander the Great and Peritas magically appear in front of the gang]''
:'''Velma''': It's Alexander the Great. Look at this inscription. It's a message from him. &quot;Our bond will never break or bend...&quot;
:'''Dynomutt''': &quot;...so, my friend, it's time to return home.&quot;
:'''Velma''': Maybe Scooby should give it a try.
:''[Scooby walks up to the statue and sadly looks at it]''
:'''Scooby''': Raggy, you promised you'd never leave. Come home.
:''[A door magically unlocks and opens to reveal Shaggy, who is unharmed]''
:'''Scooby''': Raggy?
:''[Cerberus's paw kicks him out and closes the door as the statue disappears]''
:'''Shaggy''': Zoinks! I guess friendship really ''did'' save the day.
:'''Scooby''': ''[relieved]'' Raggy! ''[laughs in joy]''
:'''Shaggy''': Scooby-Doo!
:''[Scooby runs up to Shaggy and hugs him as do the gang]''
:'''Daphne''': I love you guys!
:''[Dee Dee laughs]''
:'''Daphne''': You gave us quite a scare, Shaggy.
:''[Shaggy takes Scooby's collar out of his pocket and puts it back on Scooby's neck as Scooby himself smiles]''
:'''Shaggy''': Well, it takes more than a 3-headed monster to keep me away from my best bud.
:'''Velma''': Tank, empath, brain. I finally figured out what you guys are. You're the heart of Mystery, Inc.
:''[Scooby licks Shaggy as the Falcon Force look happily at them and Dynomutt licks Brian, which he exclaims in pain]''
:'''Dynomutt''': Sorry. Metal tongue. Shoulda thought that through.
:'''Dastardly''': ''[angrily]'' Put me down, ''you traitorous '''tin cans!'''''
:''[Two flying Rottens, who had captured Dastardly and Muttley, lower them in front of the gang on knees]''
:'''Muttley''': ''[grumbles]'' Rasm-Frasm. Stupid robots!
:'''Brian''': Time to pay for ''your'' crimes, Dick Dastardly. ''[towards him]''
:'''Shaggy''': Or is it? ''[pulls off a mask revealing…]''
:'''All''': ''[In unison, shocked]'' Simon Cowell?! ''[Muttley growls angrily at him]''
:'''Daphne''': Wow, that is a solid impersonation. ''[Fred looks at her]''
:'''Simon Cowell''': Thank you. I also played [[w:Rum Tum Tugger|Rum Tum Tugger]] in my secondary school's production of ''&quot;[[w:Cats (musical)|Cats]]&quot;''. ''[Muttley sniffs]''
:'''Velma''': This makes no sense. ''[Scooby, Shaggy, Dusty, Daphne, Fred, Brian, Dee Dee and Dynomutt looks at her she walks towards him beside Muttley]'' How could ''he'' have time to judge the world's greatest talent shows and build a giant airship? ''[she pulls off another mask to reveal he is really… the real Dick Dastardly!]''
:'''All''': ''[In unison, shocked]'' Dick Dastardly?! ''[Velma nod and walked back]''
:'''Dastardly''': Drat! No one ''ever'' goes for the ''double'' unmasking. ''[Muttley snickers as Dastardly frowns at him]''
:'''Brian''': ''[to Dastardly]'' ''You'' are coming with us.
:''[The Falcon Force carry Dastardly and Muttley away to custody]''
:'''Dastardly''': ''[last words, enraged] I'' would've gotten away with it, if it weren't for ''you'' '''&quot;MISMATCHED&quot; MEDDLING MISCREANTS!'''
:'''Fred''': ''[to Scooby and Shaggy]'' Congratulations, you two. You just saved the world.
:'''Daphne''': How do you feel?
:'''Scooby and Shaggy''': Hungry.
:''[The gang laugh]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Velma''': Looks like we're on the case.
:'''Fred''': Let’s hit it.
:'''Daphne''': ''[to Dusty]'' Hey, Dusty! Watch the shop, please.
:'''Shaggy''': What do you say, buddy?
:'''Scooby''': Lets Scooby-Dooby-Do It!

== About ''Scoob!'' ==
* I think when we first started, this was much more like &quot;Hanna-Barbera Avengers&quot;. And then, somehow along the way, the more time we spent with Scooby and Shaggy, we were just like, &quot;This is all we care about&quot;. Scooby and Shaggy had their own gravity that took up space.
** [[w:Tony Cervone|Tony Cervone]], in an interview to Cinema Blend
* Everyone pushed their roles a little bit. It’s important the characters remain who they are, but it’s interesting to let the actors do their work. Gina’s Velma is not the same as everyone else’s Velma, and Zac Efron’s Fred is not the same as Frank Welker’s Fred, but it’s still Fred. A lot of people have played Hamlet, over the years.
** Tony Cervone, in an interview to Stack

== Taglines ==
* His Epic Tail Begins.
* Mystery Loves Company.
* Their Friendship Works In Mysterious Ways.
* Old Dog. New Tricks.
* From the imagination of Hanna-Barbera and the creators of ''[[The Lego Movie]]'', ''[[Storks (film)|Storks]]'' and ''[[Smallfoot (film)|Smallfoot]]''.
* Let's Go Gang! (Fred Jones)
* Jeepers! (Daphne Blake)
* Jinkles! (Velma Dinkley)
* Zoinks! (Shaggy Rogers)
* Ruh-roh! (Scooby-Doo)
* Drat! (Dick Dastardly)
* Rasm-Frasm! (Muttley)
* Captain Cavveeman! (Captain Caveman)
* Foxy Falcon (Dee Dee Skyes, Blue Falcon and Dynomutt)
* Zac Efron is Fred
* Will Forte is Shaggy
* Gina Rodriguez is Velma
* Amanda Seyfried is Daphne
* Frank Welker is Scooby

=== Trailers ===
* [from trailer] From Warner Bros. Pictures.
* [from trailer] From the moment they met.
* [from trailer] It was meant to be. 
* [from trailer] This summer.
* [from trailer] Their greatest mystery begins.
* [from trailer] Summer 2020.
* [from trailer] To solve this mystery.
* [from trailer] Go back to their beginning.
* [from trailer] On May 15
* [from trailer] An unbelievable mystery.
* [from trailer] Is coming home.
* [from trailer] Discover the origin story of Scooby-Doo.

=== Closing ===
* Special Thanks [[Joe Ruby]] &amp; [[Ken Spears]]

== Cast ==
*'''[[Frank Welker]]''' — [[W:Scooby-Doo (character)|Scooby-Doo]], Pterodactyl
*'''[[w:Will Forte|Will Forte]]''' — [[w:Shaggy Rogers|Shaggy Rogers]]
**'''[[w:Iain Armitage|Iain Armitage]]''' {{small|(young)}}
*'''[[w:Zac Efron|Zac Efron]]''' — [[w:Fred Jones (Scooby-Doo)|Fred Jones]], Fake Fred Jones (disguise)
**'''[[w:Pierce Gagnon|Pierce Gagnon]]''' {{small|(young)}}
*'''[[Amanda Seyfried]]''' — [[w:Daphne Blake|Daphne Blake]]
**'''[[Mckenna Grace]]''' {{small|(young)}}
*'''[[w:Gina Rodriguez|Gina Rodriguez]]''' — [[w:Velma Dinkley|Velma Dinkley]]
**'''[[w:Ariana Greenblatt|Ariana Greenblatt]]''' {{small|(young)}}
*'''[[Mark Wahlberg]]''' — [[w:Scoob!|Brian Crown / Blue Falcon]]
*'''[[w:Jason Isaacs|Jason Isaacs]]''' — [[w:Dick Dastardly|Dick Dastardly]]
**'''[[Simon Cowell|Simon Cowell — Himself]]''' (disguise)
***'''[[w:Christina Hendricks|Christina Hendricks]]''' — Officer Jaffe (disguise)
*'''[[w:Kiersey Clemons|Kiersey Clemons]]''' — [[w:Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels#Dee Dee Skyes|Dee Dee Skyes]]
*'''[[w:Ken Jeong|Ken Jeong]]''' — [[w:Dynomutt|Dynomutt]]
*'''[[w:Tracy Morgan|Tracy Morgan]]''' — [[w:Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels#Captain Caveman|Captain Caveman]]
*'''[[w:Henry Winkler|Henry Winkler]]''' — Keith
*'''[[w:Harry Perry (musician)|Harry Perry — Himself]]'''
*'''[[John DiMaggio]]''' — Restaurant Owner
*'''[[w:Kevin Heffernan (actor)|Kevin Heffernan]]''' — Bike Cop Gary
*'''[[Ira Glass|Ira Glass — Himself]]'''
*'''Henry Kaufman''' — Chad and Chet
*'''[[w:Maya Erskine|Maya Erskine]]''' — Judy Takamoto
*'''[[w:Billy West|Billy West]]&lt;br&gt;[[w:Don Messick|Don Messick]]''' — [[w:Muttley|Muttley]]
*'''[[w:Fred Tatasciore|Fred Tatasciore]]''' — [[w:Cerberus|Cerberus]]
*'''[[w:Justina Machado|Justina Machado]]''' — Jamie Rivera
*'''Kennedy Peil''' — Indira Knight
*'''John McDaniel''' — Hal Murphy
*'''Ryan Folsey''' — Beach Guy
*'''Pam Coats''' — Mrs. Rogers
*'''{{w|Tony Cervone}}''' — Ghost / Mr. Rigby, Alice
*'''{{w|Adam Sztykiel}}''' — Officer Casey
*'''Alex Kauffman''' — Officer North
*'''Vanara Taing''' — Baby Rotten
*'''Sarah Lancia''' — Dispatcher Stevens
*'''Maven Morgan''' — Kari
*'''{{w|Eric Cowell}}''' — Ben
*'''Michael Kurinsky''' — Samuel Colton

== See also ==
* ''[[Scooby-Doo (film)|Scooby-Doo]]'', a 2002 film also directed by Raja Gosnell
* ''[[Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed]]'', a 2004 sequel film also directed by Raja Gosnell

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
*{{Commonscat-inline}}
*{{IMDb title|id=3152592|title=Scoob!}}

{{Scooby-Doo}}
{{Warner Animation Group}}
{{Authority control}}

[[Category:2020 computer-animated films]]
[[Category:2020 American animated films]]
[[Category:Scoob!]]
[[Category:American 3D animated films]]
[[Category:American animated feature films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American fantasy adventure films]]
[[Category:American science fiction films]]
[[Category:American crossover animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]
[[Category:American children's animated horror films]]
[[Category:American children's animated mystery films]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy films]]
[[Category:Films based on animated television series]]
[[Category:Reboot animated films]]
[[Category:Warner Bros. Discovery]]
[[Category:Films directed by Tony Cervone]]
[[Category:Animated films set in Los Angeles]]
[[Category:Animated films set in Romania]]
[[Category:Animated films set in Greece]]
[[Category:Animated films about dogs]]
[[Category:American animated films about revenge]]
[[Category:Animated films about friendship]]
[[Category:Animated films about abduction]]
[[Category:Animated films about shapeshifting]]
[[Category:Animated films based on classical mythology]]
[[Category:Animated films about Halloween]]
[[Category:Films with archival recordings]]
[[Category:American robot films]]
[[Category:Animated films impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic]]</text>
      <sha1>99s7cdw5flamsb1x78ptgkp7qpr8nq0</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Dragon Tales</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>227982</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943957</id>
      <parentid>3943747</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T14:27:16Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943957</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="143769" sha1="60bd87vza97kzgwxd7o28ihxbmbba2n" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Dragon Tales|Dragon Tales]]''''' (1999–2005) is a English-French language American-Canadian-Quebecois 2D animated (traditional, hand-drawn 2D animation (traditional, hand-inked, hand-painted, and hand-colored cel animation (Pilot) (1999 (un-produced/un-aired))/(Season 1) (1999-2000)/digital inking-and-painting, and coloring animation (Seasons 2-3) (2001-2005))) educational fantasy children's television series in which two human siblings named Emmy, who was a 7-year old girl, and her younger brother named Max, who was a 5-year old boy, and later their new next-door neighbor named Enrique, who was a 8-year old boy, who was first appeared in Season 3, go on adventures in a magical land of dragons of three types, which are earth, winged and horned. The show was produced by the Children's Television Workshop (Season 1) (1999-2000)/Sesame Workshop (Seasons 2-3) (2001-2005), and Columbia TriStar Television (Seasons 1-2) (1999-2002)/Sony Pictures Television (Season 3) (2005), and distributed by Columbia TriStar Television Distribution (Season 1) (1999-2000)/Columbia TriStar Domestic Television (Season 2) (2001-2002)/Sony Pictures Television (Season 3) (2005), and was un-aired on broadcast syndication (regional syndication (first-run syndication)/public broadcasting syndication) (Pilot) (1999), and PBS (PTV/PTV Park) (Pilot) (1999) in English, in the United States, and CBC Television (CBC Playground) (Pilot) (1999) in English, in Canada, and Radio-Canada Television (Pilot) (1999) in French, in Canada, and Quebec, for the un-aired 24-minute pilot episode (un-aired two 12-minute pilot segments), called ''One Small Step for Cassie'', which was the first pilot segment, and ''Circle of Friends'', which was the second pilot segment, until the show was later aired on PBS (PBS Kids) (Seasons 1-3) (1999-2005) in English, in the United States, and CBC Television (Seasons 1-3) (1999-2005) (CBC Playground (Season 1) (1999-2000)/Get Set for Life (Season 2) (2001-2002)/Kids' CBC (Season 3) (2005)) in English, in Canada, and Radio-Canada Television (Seasons 1-3) (1999-2005) in French, in Canada, and Quebec, and was un-produced in mid-1999, for the un-aired 26-minute pilot episode (un-aired two 12-minute pilot segments), called ''One Small Step for Cassie'', which was the first pilot segment, and ''Circle of Friends'', which was the second pilot segment, until the show was later debuted on September 6, 1999, and ended on April 11, 2005. The show was aimed at younger children in school ages, and from ages 5 to 8.

==Season 1 (1999-2000)==
===''To Fly with Dragons'' [1.1a]===
===''The Forest of Darkness'' [1.1b]===
:'''Mom''': Emmy, Max, everything all right up here?''
:'''Emmy''': Yeah, Mom. We were just coloring. There. Look what I did.
:'''Max''': Whoa. This looks just like Cassie.
:'''Emmy''': Maybe it's because it was Cassie. And I'm gonna give it to her as a gift.
:'''Max''': Were you going to Dragon Land? Yeah. Me too. Because I got a great surprise for Ord. And he's gonna like it.
:'''Emmy''': What is that?
:'''Max''': It's bubble gum. And I've only been chewing it one time. Hey. Maybe we should get something for Zak, and Wheezie.
:'''Emmy''': I know. Maybe we should let them borrow our harmonicas. So, come on. Max, Let's just go to Dragon Land.

===''To Kingdom Come'' [1.2a]===
:'''Emmy''': If you'd shared the Wish Shell in the first place, Ord, we definitely wouldn't be in this mess!
&lt;hr width=&quot;55%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ord breaks off a tiny piece of his cupcake and offers it to Monsieur Marmadune, however is not enough.]''
:'''Monsieur Marmadune''': This was sharing?
:'''Ord''': ''[breaks off a larger piece of his cupcake]'' This much?
:'''Max''': More...
:'''Ord''': ''[breaks another piece again]'' This much?
:'''Max''': More...
:'''Ord''': ''[depressed]'' Oh... this was so hard! ''[until ultimately divide his cupcake in half and offers it to Monsieur Marmadune]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;55%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ord''': Hey look, my dragon badge is shining! I did it, I shared!

===''Good-bye, Little Caterpoozle!'' [1.2b]===

*''[When Emmy, Max, Ord, Cassie, Zak, and Wheezie saw Poozie, the caterpoozle, inside a silk sack --called a [[w:chrysalis|chrysalis]]-- and is sleeping inside it.]''
*'''Cassie''': ''[gasps]'' Oh, she is dead! ''[cries]'' Oh, Poozie!

===''Knot a Problem'' [1.3a]===

===''Ord's Unhappy Birthday'' [1.3b]===
:''[The episode starts out in the playroom where Max and Emmy are wrapping presents. Emmy’s is all wrapped up quick and angrily-ish while Max’s is rather wrinkled and uneven.]''
:'''Max''': Look Emmy! I'm done wrapping my birthday present for Ord. Neat, huh?
:''[Max holds up his present, but the ribbon unravels and falls off.]''
:'''Emmy''': [unsure] I'm late, I'm late, I'm late, Max!
:''[Max struggles to tie the ribbon back on. Emmy refuse to help.]''
:'''Emmy''':   No time, no time, no time! For a very important date. No time to make a bow for you. I'm late, I'm late, I'm late.
:'''Max''': Now, this is curious. It must be awfully important, like a party or something. 
:''[Max puts his left index finger on the knot while Emmy ties the bow. But it ends up being so tight, Max's finger gets stuck in the ribbon.]''
:'''Max''': Hey! My finger’s stuck!
:'''Emmy''': [with voice raised and sounding genuinely annoyed] Come on, Max, there is no time to help Cassie! This no time to get ready for Ord's surprise birthday party!
:''[Max and Emmy hold the scale and start saying their lately wish.]''
:'''Max and Emmy''': I'm late, I'm late, I'm late with all my very important heart. No time to fly with dragons in a land apart.
:''[The dragons on the wall come to life and circle around the kids flying faster and faster until they disappear in a bright light and soon they arrive in DragonLand.]''
:'''Emmy''': We're late!  This is the perfect rush to Cassie!!
:'''Max''': I'm late!!! 
:''[Max grabs her wrist and they're running to the dragon tail waving behind a tree but is blue, not pink.]''
:'''Max''': Cassie! I'm late, I'm late....
:''[The figure that comes out from behind the tree is, in fact, a door banging and pounding]''
:'''Emmy''': ''[angrily whispering, hissing irritated, quietly]''  '''SHHH!!'''  Quiet, Max! Don't say such things to King Ord! Hide your present!
:''[Emmy swipes her gift behind her back and Max tries to hide his but his finger is still stuck on the bow. Ord approaches the kids and he bows down.]''
:'''Ord''': Max, Emmy, I'm ruler of my birthday! Look what mom and dad got me! ''[shows them a pencil with a feathery end and he draws a little tic-tac-toe grid in midair]''
:'''Ord''': It draws on anything, how much greater I'd be! What a king! I'd be ruler of all that I see! Oh, you wanna bark orders?
:'''Max''': Leave me alone!
:'''Emmy''': We are not friends!
:''[Suddenly, Ord Gets Growling In Frustration At The Angry Snaps And He Launches Into An Rage Outburst]'' '''YOU KNOW WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!''' 
:'''Emmy''': [thunders angrily] '''OH REALLY, ORD, ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?! IT ISN'T FAIR! IT IS, IN FACT, A COMPLETE AND TOTAL OUTRAGE!!!''' We're angry with you, Your Majesty. I'm serious! Today's your birthday! So you '''LEAVE ME ALONE!!!'''
:'''Ord''':  No! You're just not looking hard enough! I don't wanna play!
:''[Max is angry without say yes, he remembered...]''
:'''Max''': You can't. No time to meet Cassie, I will NEVER seen you again and leave me alone forever.
:'''Emmy''': ''[interrupting]'' I'm upset!  
:'''Ord''': Louder!
:'''Emmy''': [loud] I'm upset! 
:'''Ord''': '''LOUDER!'''
:'''Emmy''': [louder] '''I'M UPSET!'''
:'''Ord''': [shouting to enraged] '''SILENCE!! For the final TIME, SAY IT LOUDER!!!'''
:'''Emmy''': [turns red in anger, furiously growls]  '''I'M UPSET!!! I SAID &quot;STOP IT&quot;!!! I'M REALLY TIRED OF YOU!!!''' I’m never let you again! Never, Never, NEVER letting mention that being such a bully, and you didn't do anything that’s mine ever having a picnic without Cassie! 
:'''Ord''': (growls angry as well) Well, Today's my very favorite day of the year, than you would be better off without me, I've ruined their lives, and I wish I'd never been born!
:'''Emmy''': (angrily) I'm late!! I'm very late!!! Now I won't want my help tomorrow anymore to get out of here and you're going our separate ways forever is much too braggy as bossy king! So, this is no fun to be boss around your dumb the whole day with you doing all kinds of ridiculous straight with you, King Ord! Now get out, or you're '''FIRED!! I! GIVE!! UP!!!'''
:'''Ord''': (enraged with angriest) '''I'M KING!!! I WILL NEVER SPEAKING TO EITHER ONE OF YOU EVER AGAIN!!!''' 
:'''Max''': '''YOU ARE FIRED!! I want you to get out, NOOW! and that's an order!!!'''
:'''Ord''': [angrily shouts] '''I'M KING TO COMMAND YOU, SILENCE!!!!!'''
:'''Emmy and Max''': '''STOP IT!!!'''
:'''Ord''': (Turns red) '''YOU'RE FIRED!!!''' 
:'''Emmy''':  [wailing angrily] '''YOU YELLED AT ME!!!''' [Turns Red With Anger, Growls Furiously And Angrily Fed Up] '''GRRRARRGH!''' I’m done with you without your birthday! '''I'LL SMASH YOUR BIRTHDAY AWAY!!! THAT BOSSY KING IS STUPID ANYWAY!!!''' 
:'''Ord''': '''YOUR HEIRS!!!'''
:'''Max''': '''LEAVE!!!'''
:'''Ord''': [angry, raising an eyebrow] '''I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!!!'''
:'''Emmy and Max''': [furiously pointing] '''OUT!''' 
:'''Ord''': [snaps] '''I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BORN!!!!!'''
:'''Emmy and Max''': ''[they're angrily pushing Ord and furiously slams the door, leaving Ord all alone, pointing once more]'' '''OUT!'''
:'''Ord''': [starts growls madly] That's it, I am the ruler of all that I'm leaving!!! [storms off furiously at a huff]
:''[The kids later arrived angrily &amp; lately at the treehouse.]''
:'''Max''': ''[firmly whispering]'' I'll never join the secret knock!
:''[Angry, Emmy shakes her fist in rages out a series of gasps, which get more tense by  shoves into his mouth, hearing banging &amp; pounding on the door many times and makes them growling. The door opens, furiously revealing Cassie.]''
:'''Cassie''': Shh, Calm down, Max! calm down, Emmy! Shush, shush! You must be upset. Are you upset?! I thought you were Ord.
:'''Max''':  [sadly] No, this was Ord's fault with a mix up with psychical violence blame. Look, King Ord’s too angry about being bossy birthday in the meadow.
:''[Max and Emmy head inside while Cassie gets a little worried that Ord might have followed them.]''
:'''Cassie''':  What's wrong with you, Emmy? Come on.
:'''Emmy''': [growls] I don't want to hear about ord. We had too frustrated when he's way too bossy.
:'''Max''': [glares] Of course you're so late! I don't understand make him bossy traitor!? If you do, you're fired at military school!
:'''Cassie''': Just chill out, chill out. I bet he couldn’t play with the bossiness of King Ord, who's willing to barked orders until we surprise him. So don't say a word 'til you two can help me blow up the balloons.
:''[Cassie hands Max and Emmy grabs a balloon angrily. Max tries inflate one up but release and comes out flying. Max then wobbles around holding his head.]''
:'''Max''': Wow! I’m dizzy.
:'''Cassie''': Don’t worry, Max. I’ll blow them up.
:''[Cassie blows up a balloon herself.]''
:'''Max''': Hey, That's insane!
:''[Emmy swipes Max the balloons.]''
:'''Emmy''': You have done that to me too many times, Max. I will not stand for what you did! You're fired! So you '''LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!'''
:'''Max''': [angry] Go Away, Em!
:''[She furiously storms off without helping Max as he holding three balloons, a green and pointy one with yellow spots, and lavender one shaped like a star and a pink one with a smiley face on it, to whom Max sticks his tongue out and laugh.]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;90%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zak''': Ord! What's the matter with you, Your Majesty?
:'''Wheezie''': Why are you angry, Your Majesty? 
:'''Ord''': (ragingly) You hush up your mouth, Go away and no right to talk to leave me alone, and I wish I'd never been born!!!
:'''Zak''': Do you hear that?
:'''Wheezie''': Really? ''[Looks to the ones on top of their heads.]'' Oh, those hats. Those aren’t party hats. They're uh... umm...
:'''Zak''': Rain-hats. Only it's not raining. Guess we don’t need them, Wheezie.
&lt;hr width=&quot;90%&quot;/&gt;:''[Just then his royal banging and a pounding is heard on the door.]''
:'''Zak''': ''[whispering]'' Is he coming this way?!
:'''Sid Sycamore''': ''[whispering]'' That wasn’t the secret knock. It’s King Ord! He rudes everything!
:''[Everyone gasps &amp; scrambles to hide everything very quickly. Zak and Wheezie take the pizza, Max puts away the party hats, and Emmy swipes the balloons and hands them to Sid Sycamore without taking.]''
:'''Sid Sycamore''': [warns her] Emmy, no swiping! Emmy, no swiping! Emmy, no swiping!
:'''Emmy''': [madder] Sid, You're fired! I'm too angry! '''YOU ARE FIRED!!'''
:'''Sid Sycamore''': [angrily scolding] It's too late, you're a crook... [furiously] You're a '''CHEAT''' and a '''SWINDLER...!''' '''THAT'S''' it! I will never seen you again or you're fired!! [lividly] '''YOU'RE AN INHUMAN MONSTER!!!'''
:'''Emmy''': [screamed furiously] '''I SAID &quot;YOU ARE FIRED&quot;!! THAT'S IT, SID!!'''
:''[Meanwhile they hand the rest of the stuff to Zak and Wheezie.]''
:'''Zak''': Where are you gonna put that?
:''[Wheezie ultimately decides to put the stuff in their pouch.]''
:'''Zak''': Ew! That feels gross!
:''[All that was left was the tablecloth which they remove as Ord slams the door open.]''
:'''Ord''': [snaps] I’m very annoyed with you, Emmy! I'm king, and I wish I'd never been born!!
:''[Inside the gang snarl on the floor with a puzzle.]''
:'''Emmy''': [angrily scolds very pissed] You're bossy, King Ord! I'm very angry with you! This is your last warning! It's a complete disaster when enough is enough!! You did not just say that, '''You did not just say that!!!!'''
:'''Ord''':  [getting angry] '''I did just say it! I said, I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!!!'''  I'm bossy and annoyed without doing anything and I'm king, and you look annoyed all the time without some help, I've ruined their lives, and I wish I'd never been born! ''[dragon glares in the room.]'' You don't think I'm too bossy, do you?
:'''Zak''': '''LIAR!''' We decided not to have the picnic.
:'''Wheezie''': I'm afraid you are. Putting together a puzzle isn't fun anymore.
:'''Ord''': [mad] I don't want to play puzzles! I'm the bossy king! I'm the king of a moss-covered, three-handled family gredunza! Nobody's gonna leave this treehouse until I wish I'd never been born!!
:'''Emmy''':  [losing control of her outrage] Go away, King Ord! You lost a moss-covered, three-handled family gredunza if I'm saying bossy to you! If you're way too bossy what word I'm not supposed to say, It's too bossy, I'm disappointed. I am very disappointed....
:'''Ord''': [growling ragingly yells] '''I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEEEEEN BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN!!!!!'''
:'''Max''':  [angrily screams] '''NAH-UH! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE! I WILL YOU LEAVE ME ALONE AND QUIT IT!!!!!'''
:''[Emmy Slaps His Forehead. Zak Slaps His As Well, Wheezie Hits In His Face. This Challenge Erupted Into A Violence Argument Of Fury Angry Fight With Powers]'' K.D. Lang: [Overlapping while singing] Join Timon and Pumbaa cow! 
:'''Max''': I'm feeling very angry right now without help, King Ord!!!
:'''Ord''': '''SILENCE!!! YOU'D BETTER GET ALL OF THAT HURTFUL THING'S THROUGH YOUR RUDE HEAD!!!!!''' Forget it!! I said, &quot;I wish I'd never been born!!!&quot; I am the boss of the ruler to leave me alone!!!
:'''Max''': [sternly] That's it! See if I'll leave you alone!!
:''[Bossy King Ord storms to the school and incredibly pissed off at him for all of the hurtful birthday and inside he finds Quetzal wrapping a gift neatly.]''
:'''Ord''': You're just a show-off, Mr. Quetzal! Never, ever mention '''THAT''' name in my presence! '''I AM THE BOSSY *KING*!!!'''
:'''Quetzal''': Oh, Yes, Sire, you look bossy, King Ord. I was extraordinarily busy... You’re so cranky. You actually went and did it to illustrate the differences in your royal managerial approaches.
:'''Ord''': [coldly] Not the others seem to think they're waste time. ''[without notices the gift.]'' [angrily] I'm the boss. I scolded at her, Because she broke the rules! I'm king of the birthday parties!
:'''Quetzal''': Temper! Temper! Your Majesty, please... I don't like to complain, But A very good friend of mine, We didn't see any rules.
:''[Ord goes back to being angrily glare.]''
:'''Quetzal''': What’s the matter?  I know you're angry about your birthday without friends and you're refuse to be gone. What’s wrong? 
:'''Ord''': [raging furiously blows up, screams in frustration, angrily yells with sobbing] This is the stupidest time to me a favor and the &quot;worstest&quot; rule, I'm the king of the panic! I'm the frustrated king! I'm the bossy king because I'm the king of my birthday, and I'm the king of special day, but my friends must not like me anymore because they don't want to play with 37B of the contract signed by him, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void IF - and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy! And Cassie didn't invite me to her picnic, and then everyone's beginning to believe I'll never see my &quot;et cetera, et cetera... &quot;Fax mentis, incendium gloria cultum,&quot; et cetera, et cetera... &quot;Memo bis punitor delicatum!!&quot; It's out of the control without decided to make a puzzle instead of a picnic! I am the king! I can do whatever I  could even push one piece together, they '''STOMPED''' on the floor, which now has to be pushed me away, because I'm the king of my birthday! And I'm the king of a grouchy girl sometimes... I'm the bossy king, and think I'm king! they're gonna mess it up for my birthday and it's all your fault, and then before I will be able to our army,  would still be alive, it's your fault she's mad!! And now I don't have a happy birthday without looking hard enough to see some stupid royal birthday, and I wish I'd never been born!!! [walks off in a huff]
:'''Quetzal''': Oh..., Outrageous! I know you've already just feeling very angry, Ord, yelled by a grouchy girl, It's not your fault and we say something very special to each other.
:'''Ord''': [he ragefully stomps, firmly fuming] Why bother? I'm king of stupid to understand anyway! I hadn't shown up even dragons celebrate my birthday in the first place, maybe I don't have to worry everything that was important to me! There's nothing, no, NOTHING, that's grouchy than me, and I wish I'd never been born!! I said it again! I wish I'd never been B-O-R-N, born!
:'''Quetzal''': ''[checks his pocket watch]'' Chill out, Ord! Every year, I know what to do to make you feel better.
:'''Ord''': [sarcastically] Aw, forget it! I said it again! I wish I'd never been B-O-R-N, born! I wish I'd never been born! I said, &quot;I wish I'd never been born!!&quot; There, I said it again! '''I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!!'''
:'''Quetzal''': [calmly] I know you aren't. So, come with me.
:''[Ord and Quetzal go over to the treehouse where the others are watching by the window and all arguing, shouting, and they started kicking and laugh.]''
:'''Ord''': I'm the mad king, I'm the mad king! I'm the really, really, really mad king, Quetzal, I cannot let you put our family if they don't want to play with me! For I am the ruler of all that I see!!
:'''Quetzal''': Oh, I see if you are mad. Courage, Ord. Go up there and tell them what you told me.
:'''Ord''': Are you sure if I'm not mad?. 
:'''Quetzal''': Si.
:'''Ord''': Okay. I love too.
:''[Ord goes up the stairs and he takes one last look toward Quetzal who gives him a nod, before knocking on the door.]''
:'''Cassie''': I’m too busy right now, but we're almost done.
:'''Ord''': It's me, King Ord! And I'm too bossy and frustrated 'cause I'm ruler of my birthday but no one wants me around. And I don't want to be your friend anymore! I don't want to be your friend anymore at all!
:'''Cassie''': Hey, You're so bossy.
:'''Ord''': Yes, you did! You did!!! We're doomed who’s being such a bully!! It's your fault because you were going our separate ways forever. So, this is… This is your dumb the whole day with you doing all kinds of ridiculous straight to stomp to you when I'm bossy!!
:'''Cassie''': Okay, Don't be mad. Guess what? You can come in now. 
:'''Ord''': [anger turns to thrilled to apologizes about being difficult being frivolous things at the wrong time.] Really? I just wanted to apologize because sometimes I was me too bossy.
:'''Emmy''': Aww, that's okay, You can knock gently on the door but don't banging and pounding hard. Go ahead, Ord.
:'''Ord''': Oh, Sure.
:''[Ord throws the royal crown and the royal cape away, Knocking gently, opens the door and is surprised with excitement.]''
:'''All:''' '''SSUURRPPRIIISSSEE!!!''' ''[everyone claps and cheers, celebrates happily and laughing]'' '''HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ORD!'''
:'''Ord''': You like me! You really like me!
:''[Max runs up to Ord and hugs him]''
:'''Max''': Of course we do, Ord. You're our biggest, bestest friend of all.
:'''Emmy''': I’m so glad it’s you. I'm sorry I was just felt so mad when i yelled at you. It's just that... because I just didn't want you to find out and I'll try to not be bossy about the surprise party.
:'''Ord''': Wow. Well,  I was really surprised!
:''[Wheezie lights the candle with her fire breath]''
:'''Wheezie''': Come on, Ord. Make a wish and blow out the candle.
:'''Ord''': Okay, here we go! 
:''[Ord uses wind power to blow it out and everyone applauds]''
:'''Max''': All right, Hooray for you, Ord.
:''[All clapping and cheering]''
:'''Emmy''': Good one.
:''[Quetzal walks around with a knife in his hand and starts cutting the cake]''
:'''Ord''': ''[with his mouth full]'' Boy! This is the really best birthday I've ever marvelous me! For I am the good ruler of all that I see! [the dragons cheered and dance happily to the music.]
:'''Everyone''': '''ALL RIGHT, ZAK AND WHEEZIE! YEAH! ALL RIGHT, ORD!''' [laugh]
:'''Max''': That sounded really cool!
:'''Cassie''': I love played the maracas...
:'''Everyone''': '''YES!'''
:'''Emmy''': [laugh and celebrating] '''YEAH! WOO-HOO!'''
:'''Max and Emmy''': I Love A Surprise to use this rhyme to go back home until next time. ''[Both then disappear and appear back in the playroom]''
:'''Max''': Oooh! My tummy hurts from eating all that cake.
:'''Emmy''': Me too. But it sure is a yummy tummyache.
:'''Max''': ''[laughs]'' Yeah.
:'''Emmy''': Guess What, Max? We're Not able to Rush for Ord's Surprise Party. We're Good.
:'''Max''': Yeah, I will tell my mom. I want a surprise birthday party this year.
:'''Emmy''': I Love a Surprise! But if you know it’s a surprise party, it won’t be a surprise.
:''[Max thought about that and realized she’s right, cheering.]''
:'''Max''': Hooray for you, Emmy. Mummy! Emmy has something to ask you!
:''[Max heads out the door while Emmy just smiles her head, reliefing.]''

===''Tails You Lose'' [1.4a]===
:'''Wheezie''': OH! They're dragons Zak, not snails!
:'''Zak''': Slow music is better for the game!
:''[Zak and Wheezie argue over whether the dance must be fast or slow.]'' 
:'''Wheezie''': '''IS NOT!'''
:'''Zak''': '''IS TOO!'''
:'''Wheezie''': '''IS NOT!'''
:'''Zak''': '''IS TOO!'''
:'''Wheezie''': '''IS NOT!'''
:'''Zak''': [Growls Loudly And Then He Violently Begins To Shout At Her] '''I DON'T CARE!!!!! DAMN IT, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME IN PEACE????!!!!!!!!!!!''' 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:'''Emmy''': I'm not engaged! And as a matter of fact, the way this particular conversation is going right now, well... I'm fine with out! You don't play fair! I will not stand for what you did, and things are out of control! As of this moment, cause you're all '''GROUNDED!! So you LEAVE ME ALONE!!!'''
:'''Cassie''': [angrily screams in frustration] You're bossy, you jerk! You couldn't wait to come back here and brag, you don't want to be part of the game around while you do dumb things like that!!
:'''Emmy''': '''I'D HATE YOU, RULES STINK, LOSING STINKS &amp; EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!'''
:'''Wheezie''': ''[turns red in anger, furiously growls and angrily comfronts Emmy]''  No! Are you crazy, Emmy?  [growls lividly] '''THAT MAKES ME VERY ANGRY,''' since we've finished everything on the list, you’re the one who’s being such a bully! I am the temper drama king! I already filled up this ate it... I have no time for childish bickering with ideas!! Now, I've ruined their lives, and '''I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!!!!!'''
:'''Emmy''': '''SHUT UP!!! I AM  NEVER, EVER  PLAYING FREEZE DANCE AGAIN!!! I AM COMMAND YOU TO CUT IT OUT!!! AND IF YOU KEEP BEING SUCH A JERK I SWEAR THE GOD....I'LL SMASH TO FIRE YOU!!!''' ''[echoes]''
:'''Cassie''': [Fed Up] '''DON'T YOU DARE!!! I'M NEVER GOING TO PLAY WITH YOU AGAIN! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME IN EXPLODE!!!!!?????!!!!!!!!!!!!'''
:'''Emmy''': ''[getting very angry; turns red angrily to cutting dragons off]'' '''CAN, YOU, CUT, A, BIG, FAT, STUPID, UGLY, CLUMSY, LUMP, IT, OUT, ALREADY!?!  I'D HATE YOU, MAX!!!''' 
:'''Max''': [Suddenly Snaps And He Launches Into An Rage Outburst] '''YOU KNOW WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!''' [With A lot Of Rage, Max's Behavior Got Worse] '''I'm losing a temper, so you become a loser!! We're doomed who’s being such a bully!! I'D HATE YOU &amp; EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!''' 
:'''Emmy''': ''[snaps]'' '''I’M VERY ANGRY!!'''
:'''Max''': '''YOU'D BETTER GET ALL OF THAT HURTFUL THING'S THROUGH YOUR RUDE HEAD!!!!'''
:'''Emmy''': '''I AM GOING TO FIRE YOU, MAX!!!'''
:'''Max''':  [angrily scolding] '''I’M NOT SPEAKING TO ME EVER AGAIN! AND I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!!!'''
:'''Emmy''': [growls angrily and screams lividly] '''I SAID, &quot;I AM GOING TO FIRE YOU, MAX!!!&quot;'''
:'''Max''': '''QUIET!!'''
:'''Emmy''': '''You just shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, and I'm fed up of telling dragons to go away!!'''
:'''Max''': '''OH NO YOU'RE NOT!'''
:'''Emmy''': '''IF YOU KEEP BEING SUCH A JERK I SWEAR THE GOD....I'LL SMASH YOUR...-''' 
:'''Ord''': [turns red with angriest and screams at Emmy] '''OH REALLY, EMMY, ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!'''
:'''Emmy''':  '''THAT FREEZE GAME IS STUPID ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!''' 
:'''Ord''': ''What in the world is going on if you yelled at him?! I've shouting at you and it’s your dumb the whole day with you doing all kinds of ridiculous things because you were supposed to stopped this instant!!! YOU ARE FIRED!!!''
:'''Wheezie''': [scowls] '''GRRRAAAARRGHHHHHH!!!!!! SSSSSTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPP IIIIIIITTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'''   
:'''Zak''': [angered as throws tantrum] '''STOP YELLING!!!!!'''  You, just a show-off, You did not finish this game!!! I’ve had quite enough is enough of your excuses whatever I warning about the new game, bossy girl!!! (And you might already did! In fact, I’m done with you without the next round!! I told you I'm '''NOT''' spending it with you and you're not listening, because, '''I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!!!!!''') 
:'''Emmy''': [lividly shouting of his rage and scolds at dragons] '''STOP IT!!! YOU'RE GONNA HURT YOURSELF!!! FREEZE DANCE IS COMPLETE AND TOTAL OUTRAGE ALWAYS FIGHT TO COMMAND IS, YOU, ARE, FIRED!!!!!!'''
:'''Max''': ''[Suddenly Snaps And He Launches Into An Rage Outburst In Anger, Furiously Growls And Angrily Strikes Out At Emmy, Gets Snapping And Loudly Ticked Off]'' ''' I'M ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!! I'D HATE YOU &amp; EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!! YOU MAKES ME VERY VERY ANGRY, YOU ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! '''
:'''Emmy''': [angry] '''SHUT THE FUCK UP!'''
:'''Max''': '''I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!!!!!''' 
:'''Emmy''': [lividly bellowing] '''STOP IT!!!!'''
:'''Max''': '''I'M ANGRY!! '''
:'''Emmy''': '''YOU ARE FIRED!!!'''
:'''Max''': '''I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!!!'''
:'''Emmy''': [thunders angrily] '''DON'T YOU DARE!!!'''
:'''Max''': [becoming louder angrily] '''I'M A BULLY TO COMMAND TO FIRE YOU!!!'''
:'''Emmy''': [gets angrier] '''YOU, ARE, FIRED AND THAT’S FINAL, I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BORN!!!!!!!!'''
:'''Max''': [enraged with high pitched, savagely yells loudly] '''I'M NOT GONNA SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN FOR AS LONG AS I FIRE YOU!!!!!!!''' ''[echoes]'' 
:'''Emmy''': [angry roars] '''STOP!!!''' 
:'''Max''': [gets angrier and furious bellow] '''ZIP IT!!!''' 
:'''Emmy''': [bellows angrily] '''SHUT UP!!!''' 
:'''Max''': [screaming very loudly; echoing] '''I'M REALLY ANGRY, I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BORN!!!!''' 
:'''Emmy''': '''I'LL SMASH YOUR A, BIG, FAT, STUPID, UGLY, CLUMSY, ANGRY!!!!!'''
:'''Max''': [yelling] '''I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!!! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME IN FIRED!?!?!?!?!''' 
:'''Emmy''': '''THAT'S IT!!! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE!!!''' 
:'''Max''': [throws a tantrum, warning yells] '''I SAID &quot;GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME IN FIRED&quot;!!!'''
:'''Emmy''': '''I AM ANGRY AND DISAPPOINTED, I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BORN!!!'''
:'''Max''': [Yells Back At Emmy] '''YOU'RE GROUNDED, EMMY!!!''' 
:'''Emmy''': [whines, turns red with angriest and enraged with high pitched, savagely screams] '''LIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRR!!! I AM NOT GONNA SPEAK ANY MORE!!! I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN!!!!!'''
:'''Max''': [furiously scolds] '''YOU ARE GROUNDED, YOUNG EMMY! GET OUUUUUUUUTTT!'''
:'''Emmy''':   [Becoming Very Angry] '''I’M ANGRY WHEN YOU YELLED AT ME!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! YOU'D BETTER GET ALL OF THAT HURTFUL THING'S THROUGH YOUR RUDE HEAD, I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BORN!!!''' 
:'''Max''': [gets angrier screams loudly then scowls] '''GRRR...I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'''
:'''Emmy''': [enraged with angriest screams, freaking out]  '''GRRR!!! I'LL SMASHING THE WHALE PUPPET WHEN I'M GOING HOME!!! IF YOU LEAVE DRAGONS ALONE, I WISH I HAD SUCH A JERK I SWEAR THE GOD....I'LL SMASH YOUR SERIOUS RIGHT NOW!!!''' ''[She throws a furious fist and incredibly pissed off at him for all of the hurtful things she frustratingly stomping the ground repeatedly with storms angrily get blown away; sees in a blind heated outbursts, raging argument, temper tantrum.]'' 
:'''Emmy''': ''[angrily satisfied, then sputters her head in irritating &quot;wrapping up&quot; threateningly makes Max and the dragons argue at each other leads them into a full blown fight in anger]''  I hate,  I hate, to fed up this rhyme just go home to bed, becuase it's mine! (echoes)
:''[Emmy storms off violently and exits Dragon Land without Max, very pissed]''
:'''Max''': [growls angrily] I'm Really Hate You, Em! I'm very angry with you, dragons!! This is your last warning! You're grounded for complete disaster when enough is enough, I've ruined their lives, and I wish I'd never been born! '''I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE AS LONG AS I LIVE, I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BORN!!!!!''' [the dragons scowls into silence as he storms off to the school and inside he finds Quetzal who felt shocked to Max]
:'''Quetzal''': Hoh-woah, That's the worst case about the unpleasant game. Huh, Max? 
:'''Max''': [Being serious by grunts in frustration with a huff] '''PHOOEY ON FIGHTING!!!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Back in the playroom, Emmy’s angrier starts her anger sulking in sadness and bursts into tears, sobbing like giving up and shakes her fist in rages out of series ideas, which get more tense by flinches lividly her whale puppet, violently stomps on the &quot;Mr. Whale&quot;.]'' 
:'''Emmy''': [angrily yells sobbing louder] I am braggy and bossy, Mr. Whale! You're mad at me! I'm disappointed to you!! ''[then as her whale puppet]'' &quot;'''NOT FAIR!! I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!!! IN FACT, A WORST, HORRIBLE AND TOTAL OUTRAGE GAMES, I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BORN!!!''' I'm all out of '''MONEY FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE, I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BORN, WHY DIDN'T YOU LISTEN, I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BORN!!!''' I'm ruined! I'm done! I'm lost everything of their lives, and I wish I'd never been born!! It will be ripped up, I said it again! I wish I'd never been B-O-R-N, born, Emmy!! You losing something and I wish I'd never been born again!!!&quot; ''[then as she shoves her whale puppet, she makes despair voice, firmly inhales]'' You did not just say that, you did not just say that, I don't like you! You're grounded for have upset on purpose…it was only an such clumsiness accident! [she hands a tissue to blowing her nose to calming down as normal voice] Really? I've had quite enough of this foolish fighting about lose at that. I’m really sorry. Why, It's not your fault. I'm very sorry for stomping on it, Mr. Whale. What a horrid dragon friends playing Freeze Dance. ''[then as her whale puppet, sniffs]'' &quot;I'm sorry I yelled at you. I know you, ord and zak are upset about what happened, and I know Ord and Zak was upset about Emmy's temper, but I think we can get a diffrent game. Listen. I'm sorry I ignored you when you've angry at the house. Take a deep breath and put it back together again in time.&quot; ''[then back to her normal voice]'' You really think so? ''[Mr. Whale agrees. she took a deep breath and sighs with tearfully to forgiveness smiled]'' I'm sorry I couldn't look like they're have fun. It's gonna be okay... you're gonna see more fun than me anyway… I'm very sorry to disturb you too much but I should go back, just to make sure Max is alright. (Emmy hands Mr. Whale a tissue and the puppet blows nose) Thank you for listening... because I just didn't want you to find out and I'll try to not be bossy, Mr. Whale. ''[Emmy finally calms down by comforting her puppet hug and takes out the dragon scale, smiley]'' OK, here we go. &quot;I wish, I wish, with all my heart ''to fly with dragons'' in a land apart.&quot; [This time, the dragons on the wall come to life and circle around her flying faster and faster until she arrive back to the DragonLand and start searching for Angry Max.]

===''Calling Dr. Zak'' [1.4b]===
:'''Emmy''': It's in here somewhere. Got it!
:'''Max''': And I got my guitar. ''[imitates guitar]''
:'''Emmy''': Stop fooling around, Max. We have to get to Dragon Land.
:'''Kids''': I wish, I wish with all my heart to fly with dragons in a land apart.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dr. Booboogone''': Now, Zak, squeeze!
:''[Zak shuts his eyes and squeezes Wheezie's hand as the thorn is removed]''
:'''Zak''': I'm squeezing as hard as I can! I'm still squeezing! When are you going to take the thorn out?
:'''Dr. Booboogone''': I already have, Zak.
:'''Zak''': ''[shocked]'' Huh?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kids''': I wish, I wish to use this rhyme to go back home until next time.
:'''Emmy''': I knew Zak and Wheezie were gonna win the dance contest.
:'''Max''': They were great.
:'''Mom''': ''Max! Emmy!''
:'''Emmy''': What is it, Mom?
:'''Mom''': ''I made a doctor's appointment for you both tomorrow. It's time for your checkups.''
:''[Despite a &quot;doctor's appointment&quot; announcement --made by their mother-- Max and Emmy do not mind.]'' 
:'''Max''': Let's play doctor, Emmy.
:'''Emmy''': Okay.

===''Pigment of Your Imagination'' [1.5a]===
:'''Max''': Dandelions.
:'''Emmy''': Max, no! ''[Emmy shook his head]''
:'''Ord''': Anything!
:[''couching, music playing'' and ''painting cans chatting'']
:''[Before going back to the playroom.]'' 
:'''Kids''': I wish, I wish, to use this rhyme, to go back home until next time.

===''Zak's Song'' [1.5b]===
:'''Wheezie''': But Do-Re-Mi's are wild birds, they like wild music, i'll show ya...!
:'''Zak''': ''[putting it in its place]'' No, Wheezie! This time i'm gonna try it my way. ''[he removes the beak of bird and keep going playing the melody in front of the Do-Re-Mi's]''
:'''Wheezie''': It's not working see, I knew...
:'''Max''': Look!

===''Snow Dragons'' [1.6a]===
:'''

===''The Fury is Out on This One'' [1.6b]===
:'''

===''The Giant of Nod'' [1.7a]===
:'''Wheezie''': I don't believe it, he didn't even yawn.

===''The Big Sleepover'' [1.7b]===
:''[Emmy goes over to Cassie's house and knocks on the door; Cassie comes out to bedroom window.]''
:'''Cassie''': Emmy! What are you doing here?
:'''Emmy''': What are you doing here? Aren't you coming to Zak and Wheezie's sleepover?
:'''Cassie''': Oh, I don't know. ''[Emmy climbs up to her window through the ivy of the facade and Cassie gasps]''
:'''Emmy''': Come on, Cassie. You'll have fun! Big time!
:'''Cassie''': I know. But I've never slept away from my mummy and daddy before! Ever! Not even one whole time!
:'''Emmy''': Well, what if you brought something to remind you of home?
:'''Cassie''': Like what?
:'''Emmy''': On my first sleepover, I brought Lupita. She's my favorite doll.
:'''Cassie''': Oh! Maybe I could bring... ''[leaves and comes back with a pile of books]'' Some of my favorite books! ''[catches the top book as it falls off]''
:'''Emmy''': How about just one?
:'''Cassie''': Oh, I could never pick just one. Wait, I've got another idea! ''[puts the books away and returns with a pile of pillows]'' How about my favorite pillows? ''[Emmy shakes her head]'' Still too much?
:'''Emmy''': Definitely!
:'''Cassie''': Oh. I know! ''[puts the pillows away and takes out a photo of her with her parents and two of her siblings]'' I'll take this picture of my mummy and daddy and all my brothers and sisters! ''[unfolds it to reveal more pictures that tile out the window down the wall]''
:'''Emmy''': All seventy-four of them? That'll work. Come on, you can do it!
:'''Cassie''': Okay, I'll try.
:'''Emmy''': Yes!
:''[Changes to the knuckerhole later that night; the sleepover is on! Laughter and cheering rings out from Zak and Wheezie's bedroom as Emmy, Max, Ord, and Cassie jump in the bed while Zak looks at his alarm clock and Wheezie play his drum.]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;90%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zak''': Now, can we '''PLEASE''' get ready for bed?!  ''[&quot;PLEASE&quot; is mistakenly heard as &quot;police&quot;]''
:'''Zak and Wheezie's dad''': Everything really funtastic and wild in there for you kiddos?
:'''Wheezie''': '''FUNTASTIC, DADDY! GOOF-BALL-O-RAMA!'''
:'''Zak and Wheezie's mom''': ''[as Cassie hesitates and takes out a photo of her family]'' Now if you need anything, dear, remember, we're right down the hall. Just a holler away. A few small steps.
:'''Zak''': Thanks, mummy.
:'''Emmy''': What's the matter, Cassie?
:'''Cassie''': I miss my daddy and mummy.
:'''Wheezie''': Why don't you call them?
:'''Cassie''': Can I?
:'''Wheezie''': Sure!
:''[Changes to a ceiling phone horn; Wheezie gets it down for Cassie to use.]''
:'''Wheezie''': Talk away!
:'''Cassie''': Hi, this is Cassie. Can you connect me to my mummy and daddy?
:'''Cassie's dad''': Hello? Cassie? Is that you?
:'''Cassie''': Hi, Father.
:'''Cassie's dad''': Are you having fun?
:'''Max''': ''[comes past still spinning]'' Wheeeeeeeee!!!
:'''Cassie''': Sort of. I just wondered if you and Mummy miss me. I mean, I could come home if you want.
:'''Cassie's dad''': Of course we miss you, honey, but why don't you try and stay a little longer and have fun with your friends?
:'''Cassie''': Okay, I'll try.
:'''Cassie's dad''': Bye, sweetie.
:'''Cassie''':: Bye, Father.
:''[The call ends and the phone retracts.]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;90%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ord makes shadow puppets]''
:'''Max''': Wow! That's cool! Let me try! ''[makes a simplistic shadow puppet]''
:'''Zak''': What is that?
:'''Max''': A rock.
:'''Zak and Wheezie's dad''': Okay, kiddos! Five minutes until beddy-bye time!
:'''Zak''': ''[excitedly]'' '''BEDDY-BYE TIME?! BEDDY-BYE TIME?! YES!'''
:'''Wheezie''': [dismayed] Oh, Zaky...

===''A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words'' [1.8a]===
:''[The Doodle Fairy has drawn a picture to communicate with them]''
:'''Max''': It's a hairy bug!
:''[The Doodle Fairy shakes her head]''
:'''Zak''': This is too hard! I'll quit.
:'''Ord''': We can't give up! Please!
:'''Zak''': OK, if you insist...

===''The Talent Pool'' [1.8b]===
:'''Cassie''': I know. I can't help it. 
:'''Emmy''': I have an idea, Cassie.
:'''Cassie''': Can I try? ''[giggles]'' I'm doing it.
:'''Emmy''': That's it.
:'''Max''': Way to go, Cassie!
:'''Ord''': ''Yay, Cassie!''
:'''Cassie''': ''[notices sound]'' Sorry, Zak. Here. I'll fix your boo-boo.
:'''Zak''': ''[sighs]'' Thanks for helping me fell better, Cassie.
:'''Cassie''': Yeah, but, I can't do anything special for the talent show.
:'''Ord''': Don't give up, Cassie.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Cassie''': I don't know what to do, Quetzal. I tried and tried, but, I ''can't'' think of anything special I can do.
:'''Quetzal''': Why don't we look in the Big Story Book?

===''Emmy's Dreamhouse'' [1.9a]===
:'''Zak''': Emmy, how do you like the steps Wheezie and I made?
:'''Wheezie''': We've even thought of a secret musical password. ''[plays &quot;Shave and a Haircut&quot; on the steps, with Zak's triangle making up the final two notes.]'' Love it!
:'''Emmy''': It's great. But red steps would go better with the rest of the treehouse, don't you think? ''[pours a can of red paint all over the stairs and some of it gets on Wheezie's foot]''
:'''Wheezie''': ''[angrylid]'' No! You said we could have...
:'''Zak''': Whatever we want and...
:'''Wheezie''': We want black and white!
:'''Emmy''': Oops. Sorry. I guess I forgot to ask again, didn't I?
:''[Zak and Wheezie are angry as Emmy enters the treehouse where everyone is setting up their things. Cassie is setting up her bookshelf.]''
:'''Cassie''': Let's see. Where should I put my picture book on flying? Right there. ''[the book flies into place]'' How do you like my new bookshelf, Emmy?
:'''Emmy''': It looks nice, Cassie. It would look better with these flowers on it. [takes out a flowerpot with flowers in it]
:'''Cassie''': But those are your flowers!
:'''Emmy''': Yeah.
:'''Cassie''': And they're too tall!
:'''Emmy''': I know. ''[takes all of Cassie's books off the shelf and lowers the middle shelf to the bottom. She then puts the books cover side down with two stacked up in the middle and puts the flowerpot on top of them.]''
:'''Emmy''': Perfect!
:'''Cassie''': But... my books! ''[starts laughing and grows]''
:'''Emmy''': Oh, Cassie, I'm sorry I made you feel mad! ''[Cassie runs off]'' I can't believe I forgot to ask what she wanted.
:'''Max''': Emmy, take a look through my telescope!
:''[Ord is getting his toy chest set up and Max has put his telescope near the window]''
:'''Max''': You can see the Stickleback Mountains.
:'''Ord''': And check out my... my... ''[grunts trying to close it but can't]'' ...toy drawer. Neat, huh?
:'''Emmy''': Yeah! And this is a great spot for our play rug.
:''[She unfolds the rug doing fall Max's telescope and covers the toy chest a bit at the corner]''
:'''Emmy''': We'll only have to move your stuff a little bit, okay?
:'''Ord''': I guess.
:''[Emmy pushes the toy chest off the rug into the wall and moves the telescope to the opposite side.]''
:'''Emmy''': That's better.
:'''Max''': No, it isn't! You didn’t leave room for my telescope!
:'''Ord''': And I can’t play with my toy drawer in the corner because there’s not enough room!
:'''Cassie''': ''[aggravated]'' And you made my bookshelf the way you wanted it!
:'''Wheezie''': And Zaky and I didn’t like how you repainted our steps!
:'''Zak''': Or our toenails! ''[Wheezie shows the paint on her foot]''
:'''Wheezie''': ''[wryly]'' Actually, I thought the toenails were kinda pretty.
:'''Max''': ''[carrying his telescope]'' You’re not being nice, Emmy!
:'''Wheezie''': Come on, everyone! Let’s go build our own treehouse!
:'''Zak''': The way we want it!
:''[Everyone less Emmy leaves very annoying]''
:'''Emmy''': ''[also angry]'' I was just trying to make the treehouse better, that's all!
:''[They all leave indignant with their stuff and Zak and Wheezie takes the staircase leaving Emmy in the treehouse]''
:'''Emmy''': Have it your way! I'll just build my own treehouse! ''[so she tries to build a ladder herself but it breaks]'' Oh, this is no fun. Isn't it?
:'''Sid Sycamore''': Hey, maybe a tree joke will cheer you up! Why did the tree cross the road? Give up? He had to &quot;leaf!&quot; Get it? Tree? Leaf? Ha ha! Wocka Wocka! [He laughs, and leaves fall out; Emmy does not answer.] So, friend troubles, huh?
:'''Emmy''': Yeah. They're mad. I didn't let them do what they wanted.
:'''Sid Sycamore''': Well, if you choose all the colors and decide where everything should go, what's left for your friends to do?
:'''Emmy''': They can, uh... Not much, I guess. Maybe I'd better help them put things back the way they wanted?
:'''Sid Sycamore''': Hey, now you're barkin' up the right tree! Wocka Wocka!
:''[Rumbling is heard and the purple goo clouds are coming closer]''
:'''Sid Sycamore''': Hey, you better hurry. The purple goo clouds are almost here!
:''[Emmy runs off and the others are at the other side of the forest carrying their things when she them catches up]''
:'''Emmy''': Wait up! ''[they stop, she sighs and asks for forgiveness, with the purpose of amendment]'' I guess I wasn't very good at listening and letting you do what you wanted. It's just that I get really excited about my own ideas. But it's no fun building a treehouse without my friends. Can we finish it together? Please?
:'''Ord''': Sure!
:'''Wheezie''': Of course!
:'''Max''': Let's do it!
:'''Emmy''': Come on, Cassie. We can fix your bookshelf just the way you wanted. And, Max, where do you want that telescope?
:''[Much later, the treehouse is being finished the way everyone wants it. Max and Ord roll out the rug and Emmy builds the roof. More rumbling as the purple goo clouds come closer and everyone notices.]''

===''Dragon Sails'' [1.9b]===

===''Eggs Over Easy'' [1.10a]===

===''A Liking to Biking'' [1.10b]===
:'''Emmy''': ''[singing]'' Rain, Rain, Go Away.
:'''Max''': Heh, and don't come back!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ord''': OH, NO! I'M GONNA FALL! '''AAH!'''
:'''Cassie''': Ord, you're a dragon; use your wings.
:'''Ord''': Oh, yeah! ''[flies safely back up the cliff]'' I forgot.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[last lines]''
:'''Emmy''': Look, Max, the rain stopped. We can go outside now.
:'''Max''': Yeah!
:'''Emmy''': Watch the door!
:'''Max''': ''[crashes and falls]'' I know, I know. Watch where I'm going.
:''[both giggle]''

===''Sky Pirates'' [1.11a]===

===''Four Little Pigs'' [1.11b]===
:'''Max''': I'm the pig in the straw house! [Max's puppet has a mustache.] ''[imitates pigs oinks]''
:'''Ord''': I'm the pig in the house of sticks. ''[imitates pigs oinks]''
:'''Cassie''': And I'm the smart pig! In the brick house! Oink, oink, oink!
:'''Emmy''': And now it's time for the most important puppet of all!
:'''Zak''': Yeah! The really big....
:'''Wheezie''': Really bad...
:'''Zak, Wheezie and Emmy''': Wolf! ''[imitates wolf's howls until they stop. Zak and Wheezie stare at Emmy. Zak is glaring and Wheezie is confused.]''
:'''Zak''': Huh?
:'''Wheezie''': Why'd you make a wolf?
:'''Emmy''': 'Cause I'm playing the wolf.
:''[Zak and Wheezie growl at Emmy's sock puppet and look at each other and back at Emmy]''
:'''Emmy''': What a cool wolf puppet! Oh, I'm sorry! I wouldn't have made my puppet... ''[takes her wolf puppet off her left hand and tosses it aside and grabs Zak and Wheezie's wolf puppets and puts them on both her hands]'' ...if I knew you were gonna make one for me. Thank you so much!
:''[Zak and Wheezie look at each other sad]''
:'''Zak''': Uh, you're welcome.
:''[Wheezie gets mad]''
:'''Wheezie''': No, she's not! We made it for us! ''[Wheezie takes back her and Zak's wolf puppets from Emmy and places them on both their hands]'' We want to play the wolf!
:'''Emmy''': But I thought you wanted to play the music.
:'''Zak''': We always have to play the music!
:'''Wheezie''': And this time we want to do something else!
:'''Max''': But you play music the best!
:'''Zak''': Well, we wanna be the wolf!
:'''Wheezie''': Yeah! No wolf...
:'''Both''': No, Zak and Wheezie.
:'''Cassie''': But if you play the wolf, who will play the music?
:''[Emmy hangs her head down]''
:'''Emmy''': I can't play the music by myself.
:'''Cassie''': Well, I don't think I can. ''[to Ord with her puppet]'' What about you?
:'''Ord''': Oh, no! ''[with his puppet]'' I'm a pig!
:'''Emmy''': ''[to Zak and Wheezie]'' You've got to play the music!
:'''Max''': You're the best!
:'''Ord''': Please!
:'''Cassie''': Will you?
:''[Zak gets mad]''
:'''Zak''': No! If we can't be the wolf....
:'''Wheezie''': We don't wanna play with you anymore. ''[both Zak and Wheezie nod their heads no, and walk out of the theater. Emmy tries to say something, but the words don't come out. Zak and Wheezie run away angrily. Cassie peeks out calling to them. Next, Emmy, Max and Ord peek out.]''
:'''Cassie''': Zak!
:'''Emmy''': Wheezie!
:'''Ord''': Wait!
:''[Zak and Wheezie jump into their hole. Cassie runs up to the hole. Emmy, Max and Ord follow suit. They peek down the hole. They are now all sad.]''
:'''Cassie''': [sighs] I guess we'll have to do the show without them.
:'''Ord''': But we need music, don't we?
:'''Emmy''': ''[smiling]'' I have an idea! Come on!
:''[The gang goes back to the stage. Zak and Wheezie poke their heads out of their hole and sees the gang walking away. Zak and Wheezie look at each other sadly.]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wolf''': I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Max''': I miss Zak and Wheezie...

===''Zak and the Beanstalk'' [1.12a]===

===''A Feat on Her Feet'' [1.12b]===
:'''Zak''': Slow down!
:''[screams]'' 
:'''Max''': It's Cassie.
:'''Ord''': Look out!
:''[all screaming]''
:'''Cassie''': Oh, no! ''[crashes]''
:'''Emmy''': Sorry, Cassie.
:'''Ord''': Are you okay?
:'''Cassie''': I'm fine. But, look, my poor flowers. Oh, you poor things. How I will ever get you to Singing Springs now?
:'''Emmy''': Why do you need to take the flowers to Singing Springs, Cassie?
:'''Cassie''': Because they're Jingle Flowers. I grow them from seeds. But, now, that they're grow up, I need to plant them at Singing Springs. Cause without the  foundation music water they'll lose the Jingle Flowers.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ord''': Nice skating, Cassie!
:'''Cassie''': Come on, let's get the jingle flowers plant now!

===''Not Separated at Birth'' [1.13a]===
:''[Zak and Wheezie are in an argument. And they convince themselves that they want to be separated from each other forever.]''
:'''Zak''': ''[to Wheezie]'' '''I WISH I WASN'T STUCK TOGETHER WITH YOU, WHEEZIE!'''
:'''Wheezie''': ''[shouts back --and to Zak]'' '''REALLY?! WELL, I DOUBLE WISH IT!'''
:'''Zak''': '''THEN I DOUBLE, DOUBLE WISH IT!''' 
:'''Quetzal''': My, my, niños. You two really wish to be separated from each other?
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': ''[in chorus]'' '''YES!'''
:'''Quetzal''': Then, so be it if you can. ''[he takes out a pair of pink crystals]'' Here. Take these crystals. ''[they take them]'' Now fly into the air and say: &quot;Alakazoo, split in two.&quot; Rub the crystals together and your wish will come true.
:'''Wheezie''': Come on, Zak! Let's get flapping!
:'''Zak''': ''[annoyed]'' Well, I'm not holding us up...
:''[They fly into the air, each holding a crystal]''
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': Alakazoo, split in two!
:''[They rub the crystals together and appears a blinding flash of light as Emmy and Max gasp. The flight floats down to them and it clears to reveal Zak and Wheezie now with their own separate bodies.]''
:'''Wheezie''': Loooooove it!
:'''Zak''': Two feet, two claws, and two wings? Too good to be true! Ha-ha-ha!
:'''Max''': Wow!
:'''Emmy''': I don't believe it!
:'''Ord''': Did it hurt?
:'''Zak''': No, it didn't.
:'''Cassie''': How does it feel?
:'''Wheezie''': Great! Now I can do anything I want! ''[does some somersaults]'' Whoo! See? Just me.
:'''Zak''': Well, look at this... ''[does a handstand]'' A handstand, all by myself!
:'''Wheezie''': ''[lands behind him]'' Watch me! ''[does some loops in the air and divebombs down]''
:'''Zak''': Careful, Wheezie!
:''[Wheezie does some more tricks in the sky but suddenly she crashes into a tree and everyone gasps. She falls out as Zak and Emmy run over.]''
:'''Emmy''': Are you okay?
:'''Wheezie''': Okay?! I'm better than okay!
:'''Zak''': Thank goodness. I'll never have to fly too fast again. ''[flies at his own slow pace]''
:'''Wheezie''': ''[yawns]'' Ho hum.
:''[Later Wheezie empties out the playground equipment]''
:'''Max''': How are we gonna make all that stuff into a slide?
:'''Wheezie''': It's easy. You got Wheezie. Let's go!
:'''Max''': Oh, no! I forgot my other tools!
:'''Ord''': Here, Max. ''[hands him tools from his pouch]'' You can use my wrench and my screwdriver, my pliers and my saw and...
:'''Max''': ''[falls down and laughs]'' Ord, enough!
:'''Wheezie''': ''[holding a plank and post]'' Now, which one goes where? ''[bumps the post against the plank]''
:'''Ord''': I don't think they fit, Wheezie.
:'''Wheezie''': [hammers the post into the plank, denting it] Ha! They do now.
:''[The slide is later fully constructed but poorly]''
:'''Wheezie''': Ta-da! Don't you just looooooooove it?!
:'''Ord''': Is it supposed to look like that?
:'''Wheezie''': Yeah! Wild and fun!
:'''Max''': What's that stuff for? ''[he points to the parts that were never used]''
:'''Wheezie''': Uh... they're just extras. Oh, don't worry. This is gonna be super-duper! ''[she leans against the slide and suddenly it falls apart]''
:'''Wheezie''': Uh-oh. Hm, maybe those weren't extras. Zak would've known how to put it together. Oh, Zaky?!
:''[Elsewhere, Zak is helping Emmy and Cassie with the drum trampoline. Wheezie walks up.]''
:'''Wheezie''': We had a teensy little problem. Could you please help us? ''[shows him the broken slide parts]''
:'''Zak''': Hmm... Huh? ''[takes out a blueprint of the slide]'' Wheezie, did you follow the directions?
:'''Wheezie''': Ah, who needs those boring things?
:'''Ord and Max''': We do!
:'''Wheezie''': Okay, okay! Following the directions is Zak's job, but I can do it too! Thanks for the help, Zak. ''[takes it from him]'' Let's see. Where's the thingamajig?
:''[Zak is working on the trampolines as Emmy and Cassie pull on the elastic bed]''
:'''Zak''': A little more... Not too tight... Not too loose...
:'''Cassie and Emmy''': '''ZAK!!!!'''
:'''Zak''': Sorry. Usually Wheezie tells me when we're done. ''[finishes tightening the bolts]'' There. Three perfect drum trampolines.
:'''Emmy''': Yes! Now I can show you my famous bottoms-up bounce! ''[she tries to bounce but falls on her back as it dents in]'' Whoa!!
:'''Cassie''': That's your big bounce?
:'''Emmy''': No way! Zak, the trampoline is saggy!
:'''Zak''': I know. This way we can jump nice and slow.
:'''Emmy''': Slow?! But we need bouncy! You can't do good flips and knee drops unless it's bouncy!
:'''Cassie''': Let me try. ''[she jumps and falls too]'' Whoa!! It's... it's...
:'''Both''': Boring...
:'''Zak''': I guess Wheezie would've known how to make it fun. Wheezie, can you come here?
:''[The others are working on the slide and Wheezie comes over]''
:'''Zak''': What's wrong with our trampolines?
:'''Wheezie''': ''[pulls on the still loose ropes]'' You just need to tighten the ropes an extra squeeze, so they'll be extra bouncy.
:''[Zak does just that; he tests the trampoline]''
:'''Zak''': Thanks, Wheezie. I knew you'd know what to do. That's bouncy, all right.
:'''Cassie''': Okay, Emmy, show us your big bounce!
:''[Emmy bounces and flips flawlessly]''
:'''Cassie''': Wow!
:'''Emmy''': Come on, you try!
:'''Cassie''': ''[bounces on it]'' Whee! He-he-he-he! ''[gets off]'' Hey, Emmy, is there anything else we can do on here besides jump?
:'''Emmy''': Well...
:'''Ord''': Hey, everybody! Step right up!
:'''Max''': The xylophone slide is now ready to go!
:''[It is perfectly constructed]''
:'''Wheezie''': Whoo-hoo! See you later, alligators! ''[she slides down cheering and lands hard on the ground]''
:'''Zak''': Wheezie, are you okay? Did you get a boo-boo? Are you bleeding?
:'''Wheezie''': It was fun! ...Except for the landing.
:'''Ord''': So now we have a great slide.
:'''Max''': With an icky landing. What are we going to do?
:''[Ord pulls out a sandwich]''
:'''Ord''': Have a snack?
:'''Zak''': ''[gets an idea]'' Why don't we put the slide and the trampoline...
:'''Wheezie''': Together?
:'''Zak''': Exactly!
:''[All they move the trampolines in front of the slide]''
:'''Wheezie''': Is this the right spot, Zaky?
:'''Zak''': A little over... Just right!
:'''Wheezie''': Let's try it.
:'''Zak''': You first, Wheezie.
:'''Wheezie''': ''[takes her place]'' Look out below!!!!!!! ''[she slides down and bounces across the trampolines coming in for a perfect landing]'' Looooooove it! Zaky, you're up!
:'''Zak''': All by myself? Only me? Nobody else? Will you come with me, Wheezie?
:'''Wheezie''': Sure.
:''[They sit at the top of the slide together]''
:'''Zak''': Ready, Freddy?
:'''Wheezie''': Okey-dokey, artichoke-y!
:''[They slide and bounce laughing and shouting happily]''
:'''Zak''': That was fun!
:''[The others cheer them happy]''
:'''Others''': Let's go!/I wanna try!/Me next!/Don't forget me!
:''[Quetzal comes back]''
:'''Quetzal''': Fantástico! You did a great job putting everything together. Is it fun?
:'''Wheezie''': It's fun-tastic! But I have an idea that will make it even better. ''[whispers into Zak's ear]''
:'''Zak''': Great idea, Wheezie.
:''[They both whisper to Quetzal]''
:'''Max''': What idea? I don't get it.
:'''Wheezie''': Quetzal, can we?
:'''Zak''': Pretty please, with a fireball on top?
:'''Emmy''': Tell me. I wanna know!
:'''Quetzal''': ''[gets out the crystals from before]'' I think it's a wonderful idea.
:'''Cassie''': What is?
:'''Quetzal''': ''[as Zak and Wheezie take the crystals]'' Fly into the air and say: &quot;Alakazoo, stick like glue.&quot; Then rub the crystals together.
:'''Zak''': Come on, Wheezie!
:''[Both they hold hands and fly up]''
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': Alakazoo, stick like glue!
:''[They rub the crystals; a blinding flash of light as it comes down and it clears revealing Zak and Wheezie have returned to their original two-headed self.]''
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': Ha-ha, yeah!/We did it!
:''[They high five and fly around happily]''
:'''Max''': Now I get it!
:'''Cassie''': They're our Zak and Wheezie again!
:'''Emmy''': Definitely!

===''A Kite for Quetzal'' [1.13b]===
:'''Max''': I guess we'll just have to go home now. Huh, Emmy?
:'''Emmy''': Guess so, Max.

===''Dragon Drop'' [1.14a]===

===''Cassie Loves a Parade'' [1.14b]===
:'''Cassie''': I really, really wanted to ride on that float. It's not fair. It's just not fair. Whoa! ''[Cassie hits the tree, spider web and the flower!]'' It's just hate today.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ord''': Uh, how are we gonna stop this thing?
:'''Emmy''': Easy. You can fly us out of here.
:'''Ord''': Oh, yeah.
:'''Zak''' and '''Wheezie''': Oh, yeah.
:'''Cassie''': Oh, yeah.
:'''Cassie''': Yeah. I was sad because I didn't get picked for the book float. ''[giggles]'' And I ended up having fun anyway.
:'''Emmy''': Let's go.
:'''Quetzal''': Have fun, niños.
:'''Kids''': I wish, I wish to use this rhyme to go back home until next time.
:'''Emmy''': Hey I never did get my chocolate milkshake.
:'''Mom''': ''Emmy? Max? Anyone for ice cream?''
:'''Emmy''': Coming, Mom.
:'''Max''': Hey, wait for me.

===''A Cool School'' [1.15a]===
:'''Ord''': Slam dunk... 
:'''Max''': For Air Ord-an!

===''Max's Comic Adventure'' [1.15b]===

===''It Happened One Nightmare'' [1.16a]===

===''Staying Within the Lines'' [1.16b]===
:''[The next scene shows Dragon Land not in color and it's all white and monochrome.]''
:'''Ord''': Max! Emmy! I'm so glad you got here.
:'''Max''': Hey, where's our hug, Ord?
:'''Ord''': Not now, Max. We got work to do.
:'''Quetzal''': Hola, niños!
:'''Emmy''': Hola, Quetzal!
:'''Max''': Hi!
:'''Quetzal''': We all have something very important to do. Look over there.
:'''Emmy''': What happen to all the color?
:'''Cassie''': It got washed away by a big rain storm.
:'''Ord''': Even our school.
:'''Quetzal''': Si, that's why I brought these. You all go to the Stickleback Mountains. I'll color in the School in the Sky, you can help color in the rest.
:'''Emmy''': But you can't color in a real mountain.
:'''Quetzal''': In Dragon Land, you can!
:'''Max''': I love to color. This is gonna be fun!
:'''Ord''': Come on, everyone! Let's go!
:'''Quetzal''': But be careful, niños! There's a giant sleeping in the Stickleback Mountains and if he's awaken, he can be quite grumpy!
:'''Max''': Wow! It looks like a giant coloring book!
:'''Emmy''': Yeah! Before it's been colored!
:''[Ord and Cassie landed, Max and Emmy got off of their backs. They see the Knuckerhole, hear Zak and Wheezie's voice and see them pop out of the Knuckerhole in the air.]''
:'''Emmy''': Zak! Wheezie!
:''[Zak and Wheezie land on the ground]''
:'''Wheezie''': We came as soon as we got Quetzal's message!
:'''Zak''': Wh-what's wrong?
:'''Max''': There's no color.
:'''Wheezie''': No color? Haaatte it! it looks so...
:'''Zak''': Neat and clean? '''LOOOOVE IT!''' ''[laugh]'' Why messing it up by coloring it?
:'''The Gang''': ''[annoying]'' '''ZAK!!!'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;85%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zak''': That leaves a knucker hole for you and me, Wheezie...
:'''Wheezie''': ''[filling the brush with paint of various colors]'' Oooooooh, I just love coloring, it's so... so... colorful! 
:''[They go to the knucker hole with a paintbrush and Wheezie paints it with all the colors of the rainbow]''
:'''Zak''': ''[scolding her]'' Wheezie... Knucker holes are supposed to be brown.
:'''Wheezie''': Uh-uh... They're prettier in rainbow... 
:''[Zak won't let him paint the knucker hole that color and Wheezie throws the paintbrush with paint in his snout, much to his disgust.]''
:'''Wheezie''': ''[laugh]'' You look prettier in rainbow too, Zaky.

===''Follow the Dots'' [1.17a] ===

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Emmy''': Like Mexican chili pepper. I know. I'll count them in Spanish. ''Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, seis.'' That's 6.

:'''Max''': Look, Ord. Dandelions!
:'''Ord''': One, two... three, four, five, six... ( ''groaning '' ) seven. ( ''sneezes'' )
:'''Max''': Bless you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Max''': I found another dot!
:'''Ord''': I don't see anything we can count.
:'''Max''': I do. ''Stinky-dink bugs!'' ( ''muffled'' ) You write the number this time, because I gotta hold my nose.
:'''Ord''': ( ''muffled'' ) Okay, Max.
:'''Max''': One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. Phew!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kids''': I wish, I wish with all my heart to go back home until next time.
:'''Emmy''': Let's do some more connect the dots, Max.
:'''Max''': Here's one.
:'''Emmy''': I wonder what it's a picture of.
:'''Max''': Maybe, a race car, or a dinosaur. Or a...
:'''Max and Emmy''': ''Norm The Number Gnome!''
( ''music song ends'' )

===''A Smashing Success'' [1.17b]===

:''[After Wheezie blamed Cassie and said it was Cassie who broke her trumpet and after Emmy's lie got her --Cassie-- and Zak in trouble.]''
:'''Cassie''': ''[crying --and to Emmy]'' '''THANKS A LOT, EMMY!''' 
:''[Cassie cries. That is, after Emmy's lie got her --Cassie-- in trouble when Wheezie pinned the blame on her. Then, Cassie says...!]'' 
:'''Cassie''': ''[in between tears]'' '''NOW WHEEZIE IS NOT SPEAKING TO ME EVER AGAIN, AND I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING!'''
:''[Cassie says that thanks to Emmy, Wheezie is not going to speak to her again. And she didn't do anything. After Cassie accuses Emmy --for making Wheezie blame her-- she resumes crying. When Emmy --so she would not get in trouble with Wheezie for breaking her trumpet-- did not tell Wheezie, who had blamed both Zak and Cassie. So Emmy knew her lie had gotten both Zak and Cassie in such trouble.]''
:'''Max''': We have to tell Quetzal.
:'''Emmy''': Max? Wait!
''[Meanwhile, Quetzal was hanging some of the lights up on the shack, when Emmy and Max came up to tell him the situation.]''
:'''Max''': ''[panting]'' Emmy's in BIG trouble, because she wouldn't tell.
:'''Quetzal''': Wouldn't tell what, Em?
:'''Emmy''': Uh, a story. I mean, I needed to ask you a question, Quetzal, and I, uh... I have to tell you a story to do it.
:'''Quetzal''': I see. I think.
:'''Emmy''': Well! Uh... There's this little mouse with ribbon in her hair.
:'''Quetzal''': ''Sí.''
:'''Emmy''': And she accidentally broke something that belonged to a two-headed turtle.
:'''Quetzal''': ''Sí,'' go on.
:'''Emmy''': And, well, the Little Mouse didn't know how to tell the Two-Headed Turtle what she did. What should she have done, Quetzal?
:'''Quetzal''': Well! If ''I'' were that Little Mouse with a red ribbon on my hair, I would have stood up straight, taken a deep breath, and told ''Wheezie'' that I broke her trumpet.
:'''Emmy''': Huh? How did you know?!
:'''Max''': I didn't tell him.
:'''Quetzal''': It's not important how I knew. What is important is what you are going to do about it.
:'''Emmy''': I guess if a friend broke something of mine, I'd want them to tell me.
:'''Ord''': Tell you what? ''[He and the others come by.]''
:'''Max''': That she broke it.
:'''Cassie''': Who broke it?
:'''Max''': The Little Mouse.
:'''Zak''': Broke what?
:'''Emmy''': Your trumpet.
:'''Wheezie''': A little mouse broke my trumpet?
:'''Max''': ''[chuckles]''
:'''Emmy''': OK, I'm just going to do it. ''[draws deep breath]'' I broke your trumpet, Wheezie! I thought you'd be mad at me so I hid it. Then, I tried to fix it, but that only made it worse, so I asked Cassie to tell you, and, well, that didn't help either.
:'''Wheezie''': You should've just told me, Emmy, and then I wouldn't have made Zak or Cassie feel bad. ''[to Zak and Cassie]'' Sorry.
:'''Zak and Cassie''': That's OK, Wheezie.
:'''Emmy''': I know I should say I'm sorry. I bet no one wants to be ''my'' friend any more...
:'''Cassie''': Of course we do.
:'''Emmy''': You do?! ''[Cassie nodded]'' ''[to Wheezie]'' How about you, Wheezie?
:'''Wheezie''': I'm pretty glad you told me, Emmy. Of course we're still friends. ''[She and Emmy hug each other.]''
:'''Ord''': We'll just have to play our song another time.
:'''Quetzal''': Maybe not, Ord. ''[He sprinkled some of his magic on the trumpet, which gets fixed.]''
:'''Wheezie''': My trumpet! You've fixed it, for real!
:'''Emmy''': Thank you, Quetzal.
:'''Cassie''': You're the greatest!
:'''Zak''': It's almost show time.
:'''Ord''': Come on!
-----
:'''Max''': Uh, Emmy, I have something to tell you.
:'''Emmy''': What's wrong now?
:'''Max''': I think I broke your dolly.
:'''Emmy''': Oh, that old thing? It's always falling apart.
:'''Max''': You mean, it's already broken, and you're not mad at me?
:'''Emmy''': Definitely not.
:'''Max''': Good, because... Remember your tea set?
:'''Emmy''': Max?! ''[giggles]''

===''Quibbling Siblings'' [1.18a]===

*'''Zak''': '''NO SLEEP, NO BREAKFAST, NO NOTHING! AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF, I CANNOT FIND MY MAGNIFYING GLASS!'''
*''[By that saying of Zak, Zak is not going to speak to Wheezie ever again once he gets back his sleep, breakfast, and magnifying glass.]'' 
&lt;hr width=&quot;70%&quot;/&gt;
*'''Wheezie''': I wonder why Zakie is so mad at me.
*'''Emmy''': Well, you made him angry.
*'''Wheezie''': ''[in disbelief]'' '''ARE YOU KIDDING?!''' Name one thing that I could possibly do to make him mad.
*'''Max''': ''[for first reason]'' You kept him up all night with your banging. 
*'''Wheezie''': All right! Name two things that I could have done. 
*'''Emmy''': ''[for second reason]'' You ruined his breakfast.
*'''Max''': ''[also for second reason]'' And you took his magnifying glass. 
*'''Wheezie''': You think that is why Zak is so made at me? 
*''[Zak takes off his alone cone.]''
*'''Zak''': ''[in a sing-songy voice]'' '''♪ I CAN'T HEAR YOU!♪ '''
*''[He gets angry.]'' 
*'''Zak''': '''BUT YES!'''
*''[He puts the cone back on his head and resumes hiding in it.]''

===''Wheezie's Hairball'' [1.18b]===

===''A Tall Tale'' [1.19a]===

===''Stormy Weather'' [1.19b]===
:'''Max''': Super Max Isn't Afraid Of You Know What?
:'''Emmy''': Definitley!

===''Blowin' in the Wind'' [1.20a]===

===''No Hitter'' [1.20b]===
:&quot;'Max&quot;': I Didn't Mean to make Emmy Sick.

===''Do Not Pass Gnome'' [1.21a]===

===''Treasure Hunt'' [1.21b]===

===''The Jumping Bean Express'' [1.22a]===

===''Get Offa My Cloud'' [1.22b]===

===''Backwards to Forwards'' [1.23a]===

===''Sounds Like Trouble'' [1.23b]===

===''The Greatest Show in Dragon Land'' [1.24a]===

===''Prepare According to Instructions'' [1.24b]===

===''Wheezie's Last Laugh'' [1.25a]===
:'''Zak''': ''[to Mr. Pop]'' Mr. Pop? I have a great sound for you! 
:''[Zak takes away Mr. Pop's laugh.]''
:'''Mr. Pop''': Really? A very funny one? 
:''[After Zak and Wheezie stole Mr. Pop's laugh, they replace it with a donkey sound. The donkey sound --which Mr. Pop had stole-- must have came from a donkey. And he --Mr. Pop-- had replaced the donkey bray on the donkey with a different animal sound.]''
:'''Mr. Pop''': ''[Insert donkey brays here]''! '''MY LAUGH!''' ''[Insert donkey brays here]''!
:'''Wheezie''': Now you know how it feels to lose your favorite ''[imitates laugh]''!
:''[The incident makes Mr. Pop feel how Wheezie felt when he took away her laugh. First, he switched the sounds of all the farm animals. He made the cow sound like a frog, the rooster sound like a cow, and the frog sound like a rooster. And now, he took away Wheezie's laugh too. In the meantime, Mr. Pop says...!]'' 
:'''Mr. Pop''': ''[in between donkey brays]'' I sure do! And it feels awful!
:''[After Mr. Pop says this, he resumes donkey brays.]''
:'''Zak''': ''[to Mr. Pop]'' I will give you your laugh back, if you give my sister her laugh back. 
:'''Mr. Pop''': ''[in between donkey brays]'' Okay. You win.

===''Frog Prints'' [1.25b]===

===''Crash Landings'' [1.26a]===

===''The Big Cake Mix-up'' [1.26b]===
:'''Zak''': Wait! Something’s not right. ''[looks over the stuff on the table]'' Hmmm, I know. The bowl is going to be too small, and everything’s gonna spill and make a big mess!
:'''Cassie''': Maybe there’s a bigger bowl in the cupboard.
:'''Zak''': Good idea.
&lt;hr width=&quot;82%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wheezie''': Perfect! It's time to bake it!
:'''Zak''': Oh, no! We can't!
:'''Max''': Why not?
:'''Zak''': 'Cause we're not allowed to use the oven without Mom... ''[&quot;Mom&quot; is mistakenly heard as &quot;Bob&quot;]''
:'''Wheezie''': I can fix that... '''Mom???''
&lt;hr width=&quot;82%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mom''': ''Max, Emmy!''
:'''Emmy''': Uh-oh.
:'''Max''': What?
:'''Emmy''': I think. There's something we didn't plan too well.
:'''Max''': What?
:'''Mom''': ''Dinnertime!''
:'''Both''': Aw...

===''Quetzal's Magic Pop-Up Book'' [1.27a]===

===''My Way or Snow Way'' [1.27b]===

===''Sand Castle Hassle'' [1.28a]===
:'''Zak''': They're coming!
:'''Ord''': The turtle dragons?
:'''Zak''': No, the waves!

===''True Blue Friend'' [1.28b]===
:'''Max''': Then, follow me to Dragon Land.

===''Zak Takes a Dive'' [1.29a]===
:'''Quetzal''': Ord Por favor leave some water for the lake for the others 
:''[Ord Smiles]'' 
:'''Max''' Come on let's make a big splash like Ord!
:'''Quetzal:''': Don't forget to put on your dragon wings
:'''Max:''': Dragon wings Cool

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[They try to swim but use the wrong arm strokes]''
:'''Wheezie''': Was that better?
:'''Zak''': No! We didn't go anywhere.

===''Under the Weather'' [1.29b]===

===''My Emmy or Bust'' [1.30a]===
:''[Max hears Emmy close the door.]'' 
:'''Max''': Oh, no! Huh? 
:''[Emmy goes into the car --to go shopping at the grocery store with their dad-- unaware of the dragons calling.]''
:'''Max''': '''EMMY...!? YOU GOT TO COME BACK!''' ''[echoes]'' Where did you go?
:''[The car drives away. Mom --Emmy and Max's mother-- comes out of her bedroom. And she asks Max...!]'' 
:'''Mom''': ''[from in the hall --and offscreen]'' Max? Did you call me?
:''[But their mom is unaware that Emmy was going grocery shopping with their dad. And Max was left behind --that is, to go to Dragon Land without Emmy. What is more, Emmy --on the other hand-- is going shopping with their dad. That is, even though she was supposed to go to Dragon Land with Max.]'' 
:'''Max''': ''[calls back]'' No, Mom! 
:''[Mom --Max and Emmy's mother-- leaves, blissfully unaware. Max turns back to himself. And he says...!]'' 
:'''Max''':  The dragons are calling! I just don't want to go without Emmy.  But you have no idea... '''WHAT IF THEY NEED ME!?''' 
:''[Max takes out the dragon scale. And he says the rhyme.]''
:'''Max''': ''[with the dragon scale]'' ''I wish, I wish,'' 
:''with all my heart,'' 
:''To fly with dragons in a land apart.''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[At the end.]''
:'''Emmy''': ''[as she gets back home from the supermarket with their dad]'' You should have come, Max! Dad gave me a quarter so I could ride on the big blue dinosaur which was in front of the store. 
:'''Max''': That is nothing. Because I went to Dragon Land by myself. ''[he tells Emmy about his adventure without her]'' I was captain of a submarine. And I was searching for a missing sea dragon. 
:'''Emmy''': Oh, Max! Am I glad to see you!
:''[Emmy talks to Max about the dinosaur at the supermarket. Their dad had given Emmy a quarter and Emmy she got to ride the dinosaur in front of the supermarket.]'' 
:'''Emmy''': Just because I got to ride the dinosaur (at the supermarket), you do not need to make up a story.

===''Light My Firebreath'' [1.30b]===
:'''Emmy''': Ready.
:'''Max''': Here goes.
:''[bubbling]'' 
:'''Emmy''': Let me try. ''[blows]'' 
:'''Max''': Blow harder.
:'''Emmy''': Ew. ''[laughs]'' Okay, enough volcanoes. Let's go to Dragon Land.
:'''Max''': Good idea.
:'''Kids''': I wish, I wish, with all my heart, to fly with dragons in a land apart.

===''Follow the Leader'' [1.31a]===

===''Max and the Magic Carpet'' [1.31b]===

===''Rope Trick'' [1.32a]===

===''Baby Troubles'' [1.32b]===

===''Small Time'' [1.33a]===
:'''Ord''': That's weird. You wouldn't think they'd only send her backpack. ''[holds up Emmy's backpack]''
:'''Zak''': Huh? How come Emmy's backpack is here?
:'''Wheezie''': And Emmy isn't?
:'''Cassie''': Where'd you find that, Ord?
:'''Ord''': Right beside these flowers.
:'''Cassie''': Careful, Ord, those are shrinking violets. When they bloom, they shrink anything they touch!
:'''Ord''': ''[pulling his finger away]'' Oh!
:'''Wheezie''': Hey, what's this? ''[picks up the shrunken kickball]'' I found a marble that looks like a dragon ball.
:'''Cassie''': Say, that looks just like Emmy's kickball. It must've shrunk. ''[gasps]'' What if Max and Emmy touched the Shrinking Violets?
:'''Zak''': Well, then they'd shrink down to teeny, tiny... Oh, No! They shrunk!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Max''': Monster caterpoozle! 
:'''Emmy''': It's just a regular caterpoozle.
:'''Max''': We're tiny!

===''Roller Coaster Dragon'' [1.33b]===
:'''Wheezie''': I want to ride the roller coaster dragon so bad I can taste it!
:'''Ord''': Really? What does it taste like?
:'''Cassie''': Ha ha ha! It's just an expression, Ord!
:'''Ord''': Oh. What's an expression taste like?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wheezie''': Hurry up! We have to get our snacks and get back in line before the roller coaster comes back! 
:'''Server Dragon''': Do I look an octopus, kid? I only have six arms!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mom''': ''Max! Emmy! I'm going to the store to get dinner and ice cream. Be back in 15 minutes!''
:'''Kids''': Ice cream!?!
:'''Max''': Only 15 minutes? I can wait that long, easy!
:'''Emmy''': Me, too. Let's draw.
:''[They sit down and draw pictures]''
:'''Max''': I drew a circle. Your turn.
:'''Emmy''': ''There's a triangle.''
:''[Suddenly they realize what they drew]''
:'''Max''': Oh, no! It looks like an ice cream cone!
:'''Kids''': MOM!
:''[They realize they have to wait as the view goes black]''

===''Up, Up and Away'' [1.34a]===
:'''All''': Good. Whoa! ''[all screaming]'' 

===''Wild Time'' [1.34b]===

===''Bad Share Day'' [1.35a]===
:''[Emmy finds a keyboard in the playroom and starts playing a song on it. She sings [[w:Three Blind Mice|Three Blind Mice]]. That is, as she sings...!]'' 
:'''Emmy''': ''[singing while playing her toy keyboard]'' ''Three blind mice, three blind mice,'' 
:''See how they run, see how they run.''
:'''Max''': ''[giggles]'' That's funny! 
:''[Next Emmy tries another song. It is called [[w:Baa Baa Black Sheep|Baa Baa Black Sheep]]. That is, as she sings...!]'' 
:'''Emmy''': ''[singing while playing her toy keyboard again]'' ''Baa, baa, black sheep,'' 
:''Have you any wool?''
:''[Max wants to play the keyboard too. So he says...!]''
:'''Max''': Let me try.
:''[Emmy refuses to let Max have a turn. And she says...!]'' 
:'''Emmy''': ''[angrily]'' '''NAH-UH! I AM PLAYING WITH IT! (I HAD IT FIRST!)'''
:''[Max tries to tell their mom. That is, about Emmy not sharing the keyboard. So he says...!]''
:'''Max''': ''[to Mom]'' '''MOM?! EMMY IS NOT SHARING THE KEYBOARD (AGAIN)!'''
:'''Mom''': ''[from outside the playroom --and to Max]'' ''Try to find something else until it's your turn, Max.''
:''[Max --who quickly buries the hatchet-- completely forgets about the keyboard and then, regards to Dragon Land.]''
:'''Max''': Maybe Ord has something cool to share with me. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Cassie''': If I don't take my crayon back now, it'll be too late! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Emmy''': You can use it.
:'''Max''': I didn't want to use, Emmy. I only wait it to share it. Can't we play it together?

===''Whole Lotta Maracas Goin' On'' [1.35b]===
:'''Emmy''': ''Wake up, sleepyhead.''
:'''Max''': ''[yawns]'' I'm tired.

===''Ord Sees the Light'' [1.36a]===

===''The Ugly Dragling'' [1.36b]===

===''Out with the Garbage'' [1.37a]===

===''Lights, Camera, Dragons'' [1.37b]===
:'''Wheezie''': '''LOOOOOOOVE IT!''' What's that?
:'''Emmy''': It's my dad's video camera. I'm taping you right now!
:'''Wheezie''': Ooh! I just love being in videos, they're so... ''[makes faces at the camera and laughs]''
:'''Zak''': ''[scolding hers]'' Wheezie! We you're making us look silly! ''[approaching the camera]'' '''HI, MOM! HI DAD! IT'S ME, ZAK!'''  ''[&quot;Mom&quot; is mistakenly heard as &quot;Bob&quot;]''
:''[When suddenly Ord appears worried covering Zak and Wheezie and looking for Cheddar, his mouse]''
:'''Ord''': Hey! Did you two see Cheddar?
:'''Zak''': ''[pushing it]'' Who cares about cheese, Ord? You're interrumpting my scene! ''[he and Wheezie make funny faces at the camera]''
:'''Ord''': I'm not talking about cheese... I'm looking from my dragon mouse, Cheddar. He ran into that knucker hole.
:'''Wheezie''': So that's who scared Zak.
:'''Zak''': He zipped right under out feet! Nearly tripped me.
&lt;hr width=&quot;70%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ord''': Cheddar!
:'''Quetzal''': ''No...'' It's tuna fish.
:'''Wheezie''': ''[laugh]'' No, no, no, Cheddar's the name of the mouse!
:'''Zak''': He's Ord pet, but he run away.
:''[Cheddar runs away with Quetzal's sandwich and Emmy records the scene]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;70%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Quetzal''': ''Jamón''.
:'''Max''': Ham!
:'''Quetzal''': ''Tomate''.
:'''Max''': Tomato!
:'''Quetzal''': ''Mostaza''.
:'''Max''': Mustard! ''[laughs]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;70%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Max''': More cheese!
:'''Ord''': I like olives!
:'''Zak''': No ''jalapeños'', please.
&lt;hr width=&quot;70%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Max''': ''[while Emmy is recording]'' I'm captain submarine of the sandwich patrol, and you're toast! ''[showing Cheddar]''
:''[Quetzal, Ord, Cassie, Zak and Wheezie gasp surprised and then Emmy and Max laugh.]''

===''Bully for You'' [1.38a]===

===''The Great White Cloud Whale'' [1.38b]===
:'''Captain Scallywag: Arrgh! Ooh, we've lost him. Ohh, I'll never see me ship again...
:'''Emmy''': Don't give up, Captain Scallywag.
:'''Cassie''': Yeah! Maybe we can help you think of another way to catch the Cloud Whale.
:'''Wheezie''': Oh!... oh!... oh!... I bet he'd come if he heard a nice whale song...
:'''Zak''': We don't know any whale songs. Do we?
:'''Wheezie''': Sure we do! ♪ Oh, where, oh, where has my big cloud whale gone?... ♪
:'''Zak''': ''[scolding hers]'' That's a dog song!
:'''Wheezie''': Not anymore... ♪ Oh, where, oh, where can he be? With his ears cut short... ♪
:'''Zak''': ''[scolding hers]''  Whales don't have any ears!
:'''Wheezie''': ♪ And his tail cut long, oh, please, come back to Wheezie. ♪ ''[she laughs while Zak gets angry]''
:'''Max''': Nice song! Too bad it didn't work...

===''To Do or Not to Do'' [1.39a]===
:'''Zak''': Please don't tell me we're really in the stomach of a giant Dragonocerous! 
:'''Glimmer''': Honey, you're really in the stomach of a giant Dragonocerous.
:'''Zak''': I told you not to tell me that!

===''Much Ado About Nodlings'' [1.39b]===

:''[In the grass, the little Nodlings are all arguing, shouting, fighting and yelling furiously in fury and they started kicking and punching over the broken wagon.]''
:'''Max''': Have you ever had a fight what are they saying?
:'''Wheezie''': They are have all argued!
:''[It is true --true to what Wheezie says. The nodlings are really furious fist, This Challenge Erupted Into A Violence Argument Of Fury, Angry, Mad.]'' 
:'''Zak''': Because you’ve never seen a fight this broken wagon! 
:'''Cassie''': And now they don’t have anything to carry their mush trees in!
:'''Max''': What’s a mush tree?
:'''Ord''': It’s like a war mushroom! Only it’s a war tree. Well, THAT'S a war dragons like us, but to the little Nodlings, these are really huge. And they cut them down, eat their fruit, and chop them up into firewood to keep themselves warm in the winter. But without their wagon, the Nodlings start arguing very angry without anything to carry their mush trees home. And then they would be cold and even worse, heartbreaking! 
:'''The Giant of Nod''': [Offscreen, Growls Loudly And Then He Violently Fires A Gun To stop an argument, outraged evilly] '''SILENCE!!!!!!!!'''
:'''Ord''': ''[frightened]'' It’s the Giant of Nod! 
:''[The Giant of Nod --furiously-- makes his way through the grass right up to the dragons. He eventually makes it to the pathway. And --almost that quickly-- he furiously storms to the entrance to the nodlings's house where he and the little nodlings stop from fighting.]''
:'''Wheezie''': Huh, I still can’t believe that giant was being so mean, nasty, rude and bossy!
:''[Wheezie growls angrily, realizing too late he's been exposed.]'' 
:'''Zak''': [sternly] You don't scare me. You deliberately disobeyed!
:''[The Giant of Nod -- Suddenly Snaps And He Launches Out A Megaphone Very Angry.]'' 
:'''The Giant of Nod''': ''[Thunders Angrily From Echoes In His Speaker Into An Rage Outburst To the Little Nodling Military] '''YOU WILL GONNA BE THE NODLING SOLDIERS, I AM THE GIGANTIC BOSSY KING SERGEANT, YOUR HEIRS!!!!!'''
:''[The little nodlings salutes their leader --the Giant of Nod-- the wagon that Max broke. The Giant of Nod turns to the little nodlings. And when they --the little nodlings-- snarl and snap at the Giant of Nod what about happened to their wagon --and about a child boy breaking it-- they are very angry. That is, and so is the Giant of Nod. After the nodlings --angrily-- tell their leader the Giant of Nod, the Giant of Nod commands, with orders to march towards this. He --the Giant of Nod-- gets marching orders the little nodlings said to him. And he shakes his fist in rages out of series bossiness to Max, Emmy, and the dragon group, then he angrily screams into his megaphone which get more tense by flinches lividly the old wagon.]''
:'''The Giant of Nod''': ''[losing control of his rage and yelling from echoes in his speaker, violently stomps on the broken wagon]'' '''YOU WILL JUST GO AWAY AND LEAVE ALL OF THAT HURTFUL THING'S THROUGH YOUR RUDE HEIRS IN FIRED!!!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!?!'''
:'''All''': [in unison, furious loudly] '''SIR, YES, SIR, KING SERGEANT!!!!''' ''[The Giant of Nod --when he angrily screams &quot;'''DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!?!'''&quot;-- he commands an barking order. After commanding an barking order, everyone --Emmy, Ord, Cassie, and Zak and Wheezie-- in response to him --the Giant of Nod-- look at Max. And they angrily arguing, shouting, fighting and yelling furiously and they started kicking and punching each other.]'' 
:'''Max''': ''[While Emmy, Ord, Cassie, and Zak and Wheezie arguing, shouting, fighting and yelling furiously and they started kicking and punching each other, then he irritating turns to the Giant of Nod threateningly enraged]'' '''NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID!''' You are out of order, you jerk!!! You just a show-off and boast, I did because sometimes I'm too bossy!! 
:''[The Giant of Nod angrily turns to Max.]'' 
:'''The Giant of Nod''': ''[from echoes in his speaker --and to Max]'' '''I'M THE BOSSY KING SERGEANT!!! I WILL BOTH YOU AND THEN DWEEB IS STUPID ONE DAY, YOUR GOING TO COMMAND YOU TO GUILTY, I SAY, GUILTY!!! GUILTY, GUILTY!!!! I'LL SMASH YOUR WAGON!!! HEAR ME!?!?'''
:''[By the saying of the Giant of Nod, he --even though Max is difficult being angry king when the giant of nod boss everyone into doing frivolous things at the wrong time he was-- says Max from fighting it deliberately. And he demands that Max losing control of his outrage without his little nodlings's wagon immediately.]'' 
:'''Max''': [mad] '''THAT'S IT!!''' Do this, do that! You're just too bossy to break it. It was way too bossy would never do what you did! Never! So you '''LEAVE ME ALONE!!!'''
:'''The Giant of Nod''': ''[becoming enraged from echoes in his speaker --and to Max]'' '''QUIET!!! I WILL DESTROY YOU GUYS!!! I’m never let you again! Never, Never, NEVER letting mention that name in my presence, You are one with the order of the Sith Lords. Henceforth, you shall be known as Young Sergeant without hear of you going to FIGHT WITH NO NODLINGS TO CARRY OUR MUSH TREES!!!!!!!!!'''
:'''Max''': [yelling loudly ticked off] '''I'M GOING TO BE THE KILLER! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!?! YOU, ARE, FIRED!!!'''
:'''The Giant of Nod''': [angry] '''I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BORN!!''' 
:'''Max''': [thunders angrily] '''YOU ARE FIRED!!!'''
:'''The Giant Of Nod''': [angrily frustration] '''I'D HATE YOU!!!!!'''
:'''Max''': [losing control of his outrage, angrily yells] '''I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN!!!!!!!!'''
:'''The Giant of Nod''': [loud frustration] '''SHUT UP, JERK!!!'''
:'''Max''': [angry roars] '''I WISH I WILL NEVER BEEN BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!''' 
:'''The Giant of Nod''': [frustration lividly] '''THAT'S IT!! GET THE SARGENT OUT IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!! I'LL SMASH YOUR BROKEN WAGON!!!!!!!
:''[So the Giant of Nod is very angry without it; Because he angrily growls, furiously commands the little nodlings having no place to carry their mush trees. That is, as he storms off in anger and says --in unison, enraged echoes on the megaphone-- &quot;'''HE ADMITS MY NODLINGS WITH NO PLACE TO EXPLODE OUR MUSH TREES!!! I'D HATE YOU!!!!!'''&quot;. So he barked orders Max to go away without fix his little nodlings's wagon.]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;100%&quot;/&gt;
:''[At dragon's military school, Sergeant Max commands the nodlings the &quot;wagon section&quot; of his bulldozer so they can carry their mush trees. That is, to replace the broken wagon.]'' 
:'''The Giant of Nod''': [It sure is becoming angry] Recruits, you've lost your temper, so you become a loser!! We're doomed who’s being such a bully!! It's your fault because you were going our separate ways forever. So, this is… This is your dumb the whole day with you doing all kinds of ridiculous straight to stomp your guts out! Do you deny it, Max!?!
:'''Max''': [salutes] '''Sir, WRONG, sir!! WRONG, sir!!!'''
:'''The Giant of Nod''': [sighs then smiles to apologizes about being difficult being still wrecked them and the king, even though it was on purpose and boss everyone into doing frivolous things at the wrong time.] Oh, Good. Well Done, Max. Thank You. Now You're Not A Sergeant. You're good, kid. Outstanding! As long as I'm around you're second best. I'm sorry I was barking order at you. It's just take some time cut down more masteries than ever, but together, we will build my nodlings will be able to our army. I'll show them.
:'''Max''': I'm sorry I was so cross. 
:'''The Giant of Nod''': I know you don't like argument because sometimes I'm too bossy.
:'''Max''': I'm sorry I yelled at you, Mr. Nod.
:'''The Giant of Nod''': [forgives him and accepts his apology, comforting] Me too.

===''Don't Bug Me!'' [1.40a]===
:'''Emmy''': ''[finding Max in the playroom]'' Max? ''[Notices a rubber spider and shrieks]''
:'''Max''': Scared ya!

===''Over and Over'' [1.40b]===

==Season 2 (2001-2002)==
===''Lucky Stone'' [2.01a]===
:'''Max''': Pilot to co-pilot. Ready for take off.
:'''Emmy''': Ready, Captain Max. 

( ''grunting'' )

( ''laughing'' )

:'''Emmy''': Good flying. Now, it's my turn.
:'''Max''': I know where we could fly next.
:'''Emmy''': Definitely.
:'''Kids''': I wish, I wish with all my heart to fly with dragons in a land apart.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Max''': Hello! Anybody there?
:'''Emmy''': Zak? Wheezie? Cassie?
:'''Max''': Ord? Where is everybody? Wait. Watch me skip this rock. 2 times!
:'''Emmy''': Cool. Let me try. Oh, well.
:'''Max''': Whoa! Look at this.
:'''Emmy''': It's shaped like a heart.
:'''Max''': Watch it jump. Ta-da!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zak''': Aw, it was ''nothing''. ( ''no audio'' )

( ''whistle blows'' )

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kids''': I wish, I wish to use this rhyme to go back home until next time.
:'''Max''': Watch me fly!
:'''Emmy''': Max, what are you doing?
:'''Max''': 3 loop-de-loops, 4 aerial zig-zags, and a round-spring-back-hand-off!

===''The Mefirst Wizard'' [2.01b]===

===''Cassie Catches Up'' [2.02a]===
:'''Cassie''': ''[sighs]'' I feel so bad I let Emmy down.

:''[first lines]''
:'''Emmy''': [making shadow puppets] See? This one's a dog and this one's a rabbit. Can you guess what this one is?
:'''Max''': Um, a bat?
:'''Emmy''': Right! And he's coming to get you...

:''[last lines]''
:'''Max''': We could have a jumping contest and a spinning with your eyes shut contest.
:'''Mom''': Max! Emmy! Time for lunch!
:'''Emmy''': How about a contest to see who can eat the most spaghetti?
:'''Max''': I'd win that!
:'''Emmy''': Not if I get the spaghetti first!
:'''Max''': Heh heh, wait up!

===''Very Berry'' [2.02b]===
:''[first lines]''
:'''Max''': Hey, look, Emmy. I have a banana nose.
:'''Emmy''': Hold on. I've almost finished my book. Are you done with your puzzle yet?

:''[last lines]''
:'''Max and Emmy''': I wish, I wish to use this rhyme to go back home until next time.
:'''Emmy''': Hey, look out the window! It's started to rain. And you know what that means.
:'''Max''': Lots and lots of mud puddles!
:'''Emmy''': Wait for me!

:'''Ord''': Ohh... ''[his stomach starts making very loud noises]'' I've ate so many berries before... Should I... or shouldn't I? Well, maybe just a little bite.

:'''Max''': My Daddy once read me a story where a bear who got stuck in a hole. 'Cause he too much honey.
:'''Zak''': Really? How did he get out?
:'''Max''': He stayed there until he got thin again, then he popped out!

===''Finders Keepers'' [2.03a]===

===''Remember the Pillow Fort'' [2.03b]===
:'''Wheezie''': ♪ The wind blows a breezy through Wheezie's treezies... ♪
:'''Zak''': ''[annoying]'' Ohhhhhh... If I hear another song about the wind blowing through something like... Ohhhhhh...
:'''Wheezie''': ''[repentant]'' Oh... You right, you right.
:'''Max''': Hi, Zak and Wheezie, what's wrong?
:'''Wheezie''': Oh, hi, Max. We're supposed to bring a new song to our music lesson tomorrow and it's supposed to be about feelings, but we can't think of anything good.
:'''Zak''': And we've been trying for days!
:'''Wheezie''': Oh!... oh!... oh!... How about...? ♪ Ord is tall and Max is short, they both built a pillow fort... ♪
:'''Zak''': ''[scolding hers]'' Wheezie, feelings, like happy and sad!
:'''Wheezie''': I know, I know...
:'''Ord''': '''MAX, I CAN'T FIND ANYMORE PURPLE PILLOWS, I THINK YOU USED THEM ALL UP!'''
:'''Max''': That's because I'm making a purple fort and you're making a red fort, Ord.
:'''Ord''': But I wanted to make a tunnel just like yours!
:'''Max''': '''BUT YOU CAN'T, PURPLE'S MY COLOR AND RED IS YOURS!'''
:'''Ord''': '''FINE!''' I've never like purple anyway.
:'''Max''': '''WHAT'S WRONG WITH PURPLE?! PURPLE'S BETTER THAN RED!'''
:'''Ord''': '''NUH-UH! RED IS BETTER THAN PURPLE!'''
:'''Max''': '''IS NOT!'''
:'''Ord''': '''IS TOO!'''
:''[is repeated]''
:'''Zak''': Oh! Now this is good!
:'''Wheezie''': '''LOOOOOOOVE IT!'''
:'''Zak''': ♪ Is not! ♪
:'''Wheezie''': ♪ Is too... ♪
:'''Zak''': ♪ Is not! ♪
:'''Wheezie''': ♪ Is too... ♪
:'''Zak''': ♪ I'm mad! ♪
:'''Wheezie''': ♪ Mad at you. ♪
:'''Max''': '''PURPLE'S GOOD!'''
:'''Ord''': '''RED IS BETTER!'''
:'''Emmy''': What are you yelling about?
:'''Ord''': '''MAX AND I ARE HAVING A FIGHT!'''
:'''Cassie''': What about?
:'''Max''': '''ORD THINKS IS RED FORT IS BETTER THAN MY PURPLE FORT!'''
:'''Ord''': '''MAX THINKS IS PURPLE FORT IS BETTER THAN MY RED FORT!'''
:'''Emmy''': Why fight? Both of your forts are nice.
:'''Cassie''': Yeah! They look great!
:'''Max''': But don't you think purple's great, Cassie?
:'''Ord''': But red is nice is too, Emmy, just like apples! I know you like apples!
:'''Emmy''': Well, red is pretty nice. Just look at it, Cassie...
:'''Cassie''': But that purple is the same color as grapes. I love grapes.
:'''Emmy''': '''YOU'RE WRONG! PURPLE ISN'T BETTER THAN RED!'''
:'''Cassie''': '''I'M NOT WRONG!'''
:''[They both regret their fight]''
:'''Cassie''': Wait! Why are we fighting?
:'''Emmy''': Ah... Let's go back and play hospital. ''[both withdraw]''
:'''Zak''': Oooooh! Let's put that in!
:'''Wheezie''': Okie-dokie!
:'''Max''': Come back!
:'''Ord''': '''YEAH! YOU NEVER TOLD US WHICH ONE YOU LIKED BEST!''' Ooooohhhhh... Max... This isn't any fun... I don't want to fight with you.
:'''Max''': Me either.
:'''Ord''': Really? Then you think red is better too?
:'''Max''': '''NO WAY!''' Purple's better...
:'''Both''': ''[sad]'' Awwwwwwwww...
:'''Ord''': How are we gonna stop fighting, Max?
:'''Max''': I don't know.
:''[Zak and Wheezie they return happy with an good new]''
:'''Zak''': We finally have our song! And it's full of feelings thanks to you two, listen!
:'''Wheezie''': We used to have fun all day!
:'''Zak''': We were happy and we played!
:'''Wheezie''': ''[as both they get angry]'' Now we're sad and we fight...
:'''Zak''': From the morning till the night...!
:''[They repeat all the above]''
:'''Wheezie''': '''THANKS, ORD! THANKS, MAX!'''
:''[Both withdraw very happy]''
:'''Max''': Zak and Wheezie are right, Ord, we used to have fun all day! We used to slide down the biggest mountains.
:'''Ord''': It was cold that day!
:'''Max''': And make music that everyone could dance to.
:'''Ord''': And we cooked yummy things in the kitchen. And played hide and snow seek till it was practically dark!
:'''Max''': Didn't we have a great time? And we'd fly everywhere on our magic carpet.
:'''Ord''': That was fun!
:'''Max''': And grab on the clouds that pull us way up into the sky!
:'''Ord''': And we made sandcastles and sandbombs... and sandwiches...
:'''Max''': ''[laughs]'' And you taught me how to swing on the jungle gym.
:'''Ord''': And you helped me learn to ride a bike. '''AND I WAS SO SURPRISED ON MY BIRTHDAY...!'''
:'''Max''': Ord, I want to be friends again, but I still like purple.
:'''Ord''': And I still like red...
:'''Max''': Come on, I know a way we can both get what we want.
:''[They both build a new fort with the red and purple pillows together and Cassie and Emmy peek out from behind a bush.]''
:'''Emmy''': What?
:''[Max and Ord finish setting up the fort and Emmy waves to them]''
:'''Max''': Come on down, you guys, come play in our new fort!
:'''Ord''': It's got lots of tunnels...
:'''Emmy''': But how did you two stop fighting so fast?
:'''Ord''': We used both our favorite colors and we made a really great fort. '''HURRY UP!'''
:'''Emmy and Cassie''': '''WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!''' ''[laughs]''

===''Big Funky Cloud'' [2.04a]===
:'''Emmy''': Yippee! We did it!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ord''': Look out!
:'''All''': Watch out!
:'''Ord''': Whoa!

===''Copy Cat'' [2.04b]===
:'''Kids''':  ( ''in unison'' ) I wish, I wish, to use this rhyme to go home, until next time.
:'''Mom''': ( ''shouts in the house at once'' ) ''Max! Emmy! I just got back time the market. Does anyone want the juice pop?''
:'''Kids''': ( ''in unison'' ) I do! 

( ''both laughing'' )

===''One Big Wish'' [2.05a]===
:'''Emmy''': '''MAX, YOU JUST GREW AGAIN!'''
:'''Ord''': '''YOU'RE AS BIG AS MUNGUS THE GIANT, AND THAT'S REALLY, REALLY, REALLY BIG!'''
:'''Max''': Better put these away, Wheezie, I don’t want to accidentally...
:''[Max grabs the bats but ends up crushing them to pieces]''
:'''Max''': ...break them.
:'''Wheezie''': ''[very annoyed]'' '''HEY! BIG GUY!'''
:'''Zak''': ''[also annoyed]'' '''NICE GOING, MAX...!'''

===''Breaking Up is Hard to Do'' [2.05b]===
:'''Wheezie''': '''STOOOOOOOOOP IIIIIIIIIIIT...!''' I just hate when you guys, especially over this... ''what do you call it.''
:'''Zak''': Yeah! Plus all this noise is giving me a headache!
:'''Emmy''': I think I how to settle this.
:'''Max''': Okay...
:'''Ord''': How, Emmy?
:'''Emmy''': We'll play ''&quot;eeny, meeny, miny, moe&quot;''.
:'''Ord''': What's that? It sounds scary!
:'''Emmy''': ''[laugh]'' Don't worry, Ord, it won't be scary, I'll see a rhyme and with each word i'll point to one of you and then the other. Whoever I'm pointing to when the rhyme ends, gets to take the piece home first.
:'''Max''': Well, okay...
:'''Ord''': I guess so...
:'''Emmy''': Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, catch a dragon by the toe, if he hollers let him go, eeny, meeny, miny, moe.
:''[Max tries to put himself in Ord's place]''
:'''Emmy''': ''[angry]'' '''MAX!'''
:'''Ord''': '''HOORAY, I'M WIN!'''
:'''Max''': Fine...
:'''Ord''': I'm going to show my mummy right away.

===''A New Friend'' [2.06a]===

===''Have No Fear'' [2.06b]===
:'''Max''': Too broken, too bouncy, too big.

===''Cassie the Green-Eyed Dragon'' [2.07a]===

===''Something's Missing'' [2.07b]===

===''A Crown for Princess Kidoodle'' [2.08a]===
:'''Emmy''': I'm so full. I don't think I'll be able to eat again for three days.
:'''Mom''': Emmy! Max! Dinner!
:''[kids giggle]''

===''Three's a Crowd'' [2.08b]===

===''Knuck Knuck, Who's Where?'' [2.09a]===
:'''Cassie''': ''Uh-oh. Which way?''
:'''Max''': ''[distant]'' ''Emmy. Where are you, Emmy?''
:'''Zak''': ''Where are you?''
:'''Max''': ''Cassie.''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Cassie''': There we're so many different ways to go. So, we mark the paths and we ask for directions, too.

===''Just Desserts'' [2.09b]===
:''[Mungus is sobbing]'' 
:'''Zak''': Look, it's Mungus.

===''Dragonberry Drought'' [2.10a]===

===''A Snowman for All Seasons'' [2.10b]===
:'''Mom''': ''Emmy, Max, I think you have spent enough time inside today. Why don't you go outside and some fresh air? You can play in the snow.''

===''I Believe in Me'' [2.11a]===
:'''Cassie''': ''[gasps]'' Emmy, Max.

===''Bye Bye Baby Birdie'' [2.11b]===

===''Back to the Storybook'' [2.12a]===
:'''Emmy''': Come on, Max. Today's the day Cassie bringing Kiki and Finn to the School in the Sky.
:'''Max''': I'm ready. I was waiting for you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Cassie''': Kiki, Finn, you must be quiet! I'm sorry, Quetzal. Stop!
:'''Bryce''': No! Cassie! Let's get out of here!
:'''Cassie''': I think, they're tired of play with the toys.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Emmy wants to know what the sad face --on Goldilocks-- is for. That is, as she --Emmy--  asks Goldilocks...!]''
:'''Emmy''': ''[to Goldilocks]'' What is the matter, Goldilocks? 
:'''Goldilocks''': ''[before crying]'' I bumped into the dining room table. And I spilled all the porridge! 
:''[Goldilocks cries --after the accident she just made with the porridge.]''
:'''Goldilocks''': ''[crying]'' '''BOO HOO!'''
:''[Max, he says to Goldilocks...!]'' 
:'''Max''': All three bowls? 
:''[And Goldilocks says...!]'' 
:'''Goldilocks''': ''[in between tears]'' Yes. I cleaned up the mess. 
:''[After she --Goldilocks-- says this, she shows the group one of the porridge bowls. Then she says to Max and the rest of the gang...!]''
:'''Goldilocks''': ''[in between tears]'' But now there is no porridge left to eat! 
:''[Goldilocks resumes crying.]''

===''Dragon Scouts'' [2.12b]===

===''The Serpent's Trail'' [2.13a]===
:'''Norm''': That’s for me to know and for you to figure out. ''[laughs]'' By solving this puzzle. So far today, I’ve seen six different faces, including yours. So have I seen Cyrus or not?
:'''Wheezie''': Can you say it again?
:'''Norm''': Sure. So far today, I’ve seen six different faces, including yours. ''[laugh]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;85%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Max''': So that's why Cyrus took your detective kit, Emmy...
:'''Ord''': To help him find the girls eggs!
:'''Emmy''': Of course! My magnifying glass would help them spot the tiny little holes where the eggs are hidden.
:'''Max''': We have to find Cyrus.
:'''Ord''': We have to stop him!
:'''Wheezie''': We have to save of itty-bitty eggs!
:'''Max''': ''[listen to Cyrus]'' There he is...!
:''[The gang runs to catch it]''
:'''Cyrus''': Come on, my dear little eggies... I know you're around here somewhere... Ah-ha! ''[dig in the sand]'' My treasure... Eggs, eggs and more eggs...!
:''[The gang finally catches him]''
:'''Cyrus''': Oh, oh...
:'''Emmy''': That's '''MY''' detective kit, Cyrus...
:'''Cyrus''': You're right, sorry, I never should have taken it without asking you... Here. ''[he gives her back the detective kit and starts taking the eggs]''
:'''Cassie''': Those aren't your eggs either, Cyrus!
:'''Cyrus''': But... but-but-but...!
:'''Everyone''': ''[in chorus]'' '''CYRUS!'''
:'''Cyrus''': Oh, alright. ''[puts the eggs down]'' Can't I have just one itty-bitty egg...?
:'''Everyone''': ''[in chorus]'' '''NO!'''
:'''Cyrus''': '''JUM!''' Fool... ''[leaves feeling angry and muttering to himself under his breath]''

===''Head Over Heels'' [2.13b]===
:'''Max''': Emmy, remember, it's &quot;ready, hand-hand, foot-foot.&quot; Not, &quot;hand-hand, foot-bottom.&quot;

===''Sticky Situation'' [2.14a]===

===''Green Thumbs'' [2.14b]===

===''Teasing is Not Pleasing'' [2.15a]===

===''Team Work'' [2.15b]===
:'''Ord''': Max! Emmy! Know any jokes? ''[hugging them]''
:'''Max''': Why? 
:''[Ord tickles Emmy and Max and they both laugh]''
:'''Ord''': Because the giggle flowers are in bloom!
:'''Wheezie''': I looooove giggle flowers, they're so... giggly! ''[laugh]''
:'''Cassie''': They'll laugh at anybody's jokes, even mine.
:'''Zak''': Wanna pick some?
:'''Emmy''': Definitely.
&lt;hr width=&quot;45%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Max''': If I had giggle flowers seeds, I'd plant them all over the place.
:'''Ord''': That wouldn't work, giggle flowers only grow in hard to find places, because they're shy.
:'''Wheezie''': I know how to find them...
:'''Emmy''': How?
:'''Wheezie''': I'll show you. Who has a knock-knock joke?
:'''Max''': Hum... Knock, knock...
:'''Wheezie''': Who's there?
:'''Max''': Cargo.
:'''Wheezie''': Cargo who?
:'''Max''': Cargo beat, beat!
:''[Wheezie laugh, listening the laughing flowers and Zak covers her snout]''
:'''Wheezie''': I think are you one! ''[laugh]''
:'''Zak''': How could you be sure what you're talking all the time? Shhhhhhhhhh!
:''[They both go over to look inside the bush, they open it and find a stinkydink.]''
:'''Both''': ''[in chorus]'' '''A STINKYDINK!'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;45%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zak''': '''GROSS! STICKY YUCKY SPIDER THREADS!'''
:'''Wheezie''': '''YOU MADE ME RUN INTO A SPIDER WEB!'''
:'''Zak''': '''ME?! YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN LOOKING WHERE WE WERE GOING!'''
:''[They both see their badges moving away]''
:'''Wheezie''': '''OUR BADGES!''' ''[worried]'' They're gone. Oh, Zak... If we don't stop arguing our badges just won't shine and we'll never get them back.
:'''Zak''': You're right.
:'''Wheezie''': On a count of three, both of us will grab the top of the spider web and pull it! Ready? One, two...
:'''Zak''': Wait! Wait. Is it ''&quot;one, two, hold on three&quot;'' or ''&quot;one, two, three&quot;'', pull!
:'''Wheezie''': No, Zak... It's ''&quot;one, two, three, then pull.&quot;'' Okay? Here we go. 
:''[They both hold the spider web]'' 
:'''Wheezie''': One, two, three, pull!
&lt;hr width=&quot;45%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ord''': ''[hugging to Zak and Wheezie]'' Oh, thank goodness we found you...!
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': '''OH, ORD! YOU'RE SQUISHING! LITTLE LESS GLAD WOULD BE GOOD! OH, NOW! OOH! OW!'''

===''On Thin Ice'' [2.16a]===
:'''Emmy''': Hurry, Max. I'm ready.
:'''Max''': Found them. I wonder why Quetzal asked us to bring our ice skates today.
:'''Emmy''': There's only one way to find out.
:'''Kids''': I wish,  I wish with all my heart to fly to dragons in a land apart.

:'''Kids''':

===''The Shape of Things to Come'' [2.16b]===
:''[For the circle key to Crystal the Door, Max sees a green lizard round orange spots. The lizard, he appears smiling. And the lizard, his spots are indeed shaped like a circle. The lizard smiles in a friendly smile. Then Max talks to the lizard.]''
:'''Max''': ''[to the lizard]'' Excuse me, Mr. Lizard? Can we maybe borrow one of your spots? We promise to bring it right back.
:'''Mr. Lizard''': ''[laughs mockingly]'' '''HA!''' 
:''[Then he gets into a bullying tone. And --after Max asks him if he can borrow one of his spots because they are a circle-- he says to Max...!]''
:'''Mr. Lizard''': ''[continues --and in between laughs]'' '''OH SURE! AFTER YOU LET ME BORROW YOUR NOSE!''' 
:''[The lizard laughs mockingly, resumes laughing, and walks away. That is, after he says to Max that he --Max-- can borrow one of his spots as soon as he --Max-- lets him borrow his nose. Max --in response to the lizard-- pinches his nose and tries to keep the lizard from borrowing it. That is, since he does not want to fall for the lizard's joke.]''

===''Hide and Can't Seek'' [2.17a]===

===''The Art of Patience'' [2.17b]===

===''So Long Solo'' [2.18a]===

===''Hands Together'' [2.18b]===
:'''Dragons''': Happy Dragontines Day! ''[hug them]''
:'''Emmy''': And look what we brought! Dragontines for everybody!
:'''Cassie''': We have cards for you too!
:''[They all cheer and hand out the Dragontines as Quetzal comes over]''
:'''Quetzal''': Hola, Max and Emmy. Will you be joining us for the Happy Hearts recital this morning?
:'''Ord''': It's a show that we put on for everyone we love every Dragontines Day. We sing songs and do dances. It'’s really fun, and...
:'''Wheezie''': And we'd loooove it if you two would boogie down with us!
:'''Emmy''': Definitely!
:'''Quetzal''': I'll see you onstage, then. Adiós, niños. ''[leaves]''
:'''Wheezie''': Listen up, everybody, Zaky and I have a terrific idea! We want to sing a song that Quetzal taught us!
:'''Zak''': There's a dance that goes with the song. And we can teach you how to do it.
:'''Ord''': My mommy's gonna love that.
:''[Changes to the playground where they gather to rehearse.]''
:'''Wheezie''': Okey-dokey, artichokies! The song is called ''&quot;Los Pollitos&quot;''.
:'''Emmy''': I know that song! My Tía Carmen taught it to me when I was little. ''&quot;Los Pollitos&quot;'' means &quot;little chicks.&quot;
:'''Wheezie''': Right you are! And the little chicks are all cold and hungry. Brr!
:'''Emmy''': But their mom finds some food and a warm blanket for them.
:'''Wheezie''': Did your Tía teach you the dance too?
:'''Emmy''': She sure did.
:'''Zak''': Perfect! So why don't we show everyone how it goes?
:'''Wheezie''': A-one... A-two and a-one, two, three!
:''[Emmy, Zak and Wheezie perform the &quot;Los Pollitos&quot; dance]''
:'''Wheezie''': ♪ Los pollitos dicen &quot;Pio, pio, pio. Cuando tienen hambre, cuando tienen frio.&quot; Bajo sus dos alas, acurrucaditos. Hasta el otro dia, duerman los pollitos. ♪
:''[Moves: &quot;Los pollitos dicen &quot;Pio, pio, pio&quot;: Stand on one foot, then flap arms like a chick while stamping feet. &quot;Cuando tienen hambre, cuando tienen frio&quot;: Stand still and rub belly, cross arms and shiver in place. &quot;Bajo sus dos alas, acurrucaditos&quot;: Flap arms and stamp feet again while spinning. &quot;Hasta el otro dia, duerman los pollitos&quot;: Pretend to sleep with head against arms, then rock arms back and forth.]''
:'''Cassie''': That looks fun!
:'''Ord''': Yeah, let's all try it now!
:'''Zak''': In English this time.
:''[They all dance and Ord stumbles]''
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': ♪ All the little chicks say &quot;Cheep, cheep, cheep. We are very hungry and too cold to sleep. Their mother spreads her wings and feeds them lots of grain. So until tomorrow, they're warm and safe again. ♪
:''[Ord knocks Max and Cassie to the ground and they laugh.]''
:'''Zak''': Pretty good for the first time. Want to try it again?
:'''Cassie''': Yeah!
:'''Emmy''': Sure!
:'''Ord''': You bet we do!
:''[The song restarts, all but Ord dances and he stumbles again.]''
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': ♪ Los pollitos dicen &quot;Pio, pio, pio. Cuando tienen hambre, cuando tienen frio.&quot; Bajo sus dos alas, acurrucaditos. Hasta el otro dia, duerman los pollitos. ♪
:'''Emmy''': ♪ All the little chicks say &quot;Cheep, cheep, cheep. We are very hungry and too cold to sleep. Their mother spreads her wings and feeds them lots of grain. So until tomorrow, they're warm and safe again. ♪ ''[hugs Cassie and laughs]''
:'''Ord''': Hey, that dance is hard!
:'''Emmy''': Why don't we try it again? You'’ll catch on.
:'''Ord''': I hope so.
:'''Cassie''': I have an idea! What if we try the dance again a little slower, one line at a time?
:'''Ord''': Okay.
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': Here we go! ♪ Los pollitos dicen... ♪
:'''Emmy and Cassie''': ♪ All the little chicks say... ♪
:'''Max''': Get ready to flap.
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': ♪ &quot;Pio, pio, pio.&quot; ♪
:'''Emmy and Cassie''': ♪ &quot;Cheep, cheep, cheep.&quot; ♪
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': ♪ &quot;Cuando tienen hambre...&quot; ♪
:'''Emmy and Cassie''': ♪ &quot;We are very hungry&quot;... ♪
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': ♪ &quot;Cuando tienen frio.&quot; ♪
:'''Emmy and Cassie''': ♪ And too cold to sleep.&quot; ♪
:'''Ord''': Hey, I did it! I did the dance!
:'''Emmy''': Ready to try it all together now?
:'''Ord''': You betcha!
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': ♪ Los pollitos dicen &quot;Pio, pio, pio.&quot; ♪
:'''Emmy and Cassie''': ♪ All the little chicks say &quot;Cheep, cheep, cheep.&quot; ♪
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': ♪ Cuando tienen hambre, cuando tienen frio.&quot; ♪
:'''Emmy and Cassie''': ♪ &quot;We are very hungry, and too cold to sleep&quot; ♪
:'''Ord''': Wait. I'm stuck! I can do the parts of the dance, but it's hard to do them all together! Maybe if I watch you guys do it all the way through again, that'll help...
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': ♪ Los pollitos dicen &quot;Pio, pio, pio. Cuando tienen hambre, cuando tienen frio.&quot; Bajo sus dos alas, acurrucaditos. Hasta el otro dia, duerman los pollitos. ♪
:'''Emmy and Cassie''': ♪ All the little chicks say &quot;Cheep, cheep, cheep. We are very hungry and too cold to sleep. Their mother spreads her wings and feeds them lots of grain. So until tomorrow, they're warm and safe again. ♪
:'''Ord''': Okay, I think I got it. Let's try it!
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': ♪ Los pollitos dicen &quot;Pio, pio, pio.&quot; ♪
:'''Emmy and Cassie''': ♪ All the little chicks say &quot;Cheep, cheep, cheep.&quot; ♪
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': ♪ &quot;Cuando tienen hambre...&quot; ♪
:'''Emmy and Cassie''': ♪ &quot;We are very hungry&quot;... ♪
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': ♪ &quot;Cuando tienen frio.&quot; ♪
:'''Emmy and Cassie''': ♪ And too cold to sleep.&quot; ♪
:'''Ord''': Whoa! ''[he stumbles]''
:'''Emmy''': Are you okay, Ord?
:'''Ord''': Yes, but it's almost time for the Happy Hearts recital and I'm never gonna learn this dance never, ever, ever...
:'''Max''': ''[while Zak, Wheezie, Cassie and Emmy gasps]'' Ord, wait!
:'''Emmy''': Come back!
&lt;hr width=&quot;100%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ord''': I really want to join my friends in the show, but I just ''can't'' do the dance right. ( ''song hums'' ) Clap, stomp. Oh! It's ''no'' use!
:'''Quetzal''': Hola, Ord. You dropped. &quot;To my mommy, love you lots. From, Ord.'' Your mother will be so happy that you made this for her.
:'''Ord''': Thank you.
:'''Quetzal''': Are you going to give it to your mother after the recital?
:'''Ord''': No. I'm ''not'' going to the recital, because I tried and I tried, but, the dance is too hard.

===''Sneezy Does It'' [2.19a]===

===''Try It, You'll Like It'' [2.19b]===

===''Just for Laughs'' [2.20a]===

:''[About the tickle monsters. Kiki and Finn agreed with the group that the remaining custard eggs were in the Giant of Nod's magic box. So they accidentally let the tickle monsters out.]''
:'''Emmy''': ''[to the Giant of Nod]'' Did you say &quot;Tickle Monsters&quot;?
:'''Giant of Nod''': ''[to Emmy]'' '''YES! THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I SAID! AND THOSE TICKLE MONSTERS, THEY ATE UP ALL OUR FOOD!'''

===''Give Zak a Hand'' [2.20b]===
:'''Zak''': Sure!

===''Make No Mistake'' [2.21a]===

===''The Balancing Act'' [2.21b]===
:'''Emmy''': I love my new skateboard, but, I'll ''never'' be able to ride it if this rain doesn't stop.
:'''Max''': I know a place where you can ride it, Emmy.
:'''Kids''': Dragon Land! I wish, I wish, with all my heart, to fly with dragons in a land apart.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kids''': I wish, I wish, to use this rhyme, to go back home, until next time.
:'''Emmy''': Whew. No more skateboarding today.
:'''Max''': You can help me build my log tower, if you want. Whoa! It's gonna fall and make a mess!
:'''Emmy''': You just need to add a log here, so, each side has the same number of logs ( ''British accent'' ) for the perfect balance.

===''Room for Change'' [2.22a]===

===''The Sorrow and the Party'' [2.22b]===

===''The Grudge Won't Budge'' [2.23a]===

===''Putting the Fun in Fun Houses'' [2.23b]===

===''Puzzlewood'' [2.24a]===
:'''Max''': Come on, Emmy, let's finish our jigsaw puzzle. The piece that fits here is big at the top and small at the bottom. Look, Emmy, I found it.
:'''Emmy''': Me, oh, my, it's my favorite.

===''Let's Dance'' [2.24b]===
:'''Wheezie''': '''IT'S A MUSIC BOX! LOOOOOOOVE IT!'''
:'''Zak''': Well, I don't love it that music's making me dance, and I can't stop!
:'''Wheezie''': But dancing's fun, Zaky, and look at you go you're dancing up a storm. '''LOOOOOOOVE IT!'''
:'''Zak''': Uh... It maybe fun for you, Wheezie, but I don't want to dance. Where are we going?
:'''Wheezie''': It's me...
:'''Zak''': Arrrghhhh... But we're supposed to guard the other boxes!
:'''Wheezie''': Oh, all right, I'll close the box now... Zak, it won't close!
:'''Zak''': Uh... Let my try. ''[try to close the box]'' I can't close it either and if we don't we'll keep dancing.
:'''Wheezie''': Come on, little boxy, please, close...
:'''Zak''': Oh, great, now what?
:''[They both leave with the music box dancing ballet along the way]''
:'''Zak''': Maybe Quetzal could help us.
:'''Wheezie''': '''QUETZAL, HEEEEEEEEEELP!'''
:''[Quetzal sees them dancing from the school window and greets them]''
:'''Wheezie''': '''BUT WE'RE TOO FAR AWAY HE CAN'T HEAR US!'''
:'''Zak''': '''WAVE HARDER, THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!'''
:''[Quetzal looks at them through the window again and withdraws]''
:'''Wheezie''': Oh, no! What do we do?
:'''Zak''': '''PANIC! CAUSE WE'RE DOOMED TO DANCE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFES!!!!!!!! WHEEZIE, I'M REALLY TIRED OF THE SONG!'''
:'''Wheezie''': Did tell the truth... ''[sighing]'' I'm tired of dancing too...
:''[The pace of the song slows down]''
:'''Zak''': Do you hear what I hear?
:'''Wheezie''': The music seems to be stopping, let's try to close the box again... '''WE DID IT!'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;85%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zak''': Now leave those boxes alone, Wheezie, every time you open one, we get in big trouble!
:'''Wheezie''': No more peaking, Zak, i promise...
&lt;hr width=&quot;85%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Greta''': Hello, everyone, my hat and I are back it last!
:'''Wheezie''': '''I DID IT! THE WHOLE TIME WE WHERE PLAYING I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THE STRIPY BOX ONCE!'''
:'''Zak''': Here you go, Greta, your boxes.
:'''Greta''': Thank you for watching them...
:'''Wheezie''': Hmmmmmmm... Well... Actually... I couldn't wait and I opened two of them.
:'''Greta''': '''YOU DID?!''' But you shouldn't have opened them without my permission.
:'''Wheezie''': I know, and I'm sorry. I'm trying to learn how to wait.
:'''Greta''': Well... I know how hard it is to wait. But sometimes, waiting for a surprise makes it even more fun when you finally see what it is.
:'''Wheezie''': May I open the box now, please?
:'''Greta''': Yes, you may.
:'''Wheezie''': Any special rules?
:'''Greta''': Nope, go right ahead...
:''[Wheezie opens the box and to everyone's surprise colorful streamers come out]''
:'''Greta''': But there's another secret to this little box, pull your streamer when I say these special words: ''&quot;Gravity Green!&quot;''
&lt;hr width=&quot;85%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Cassie''': It was so much fun!
:'''Ord, Emmy and Max''': Thanks, Greta.
:'''Zak''': See, if you went ahead and opened the box, we wouldn't have known the special words, and we would have missed the merry-go ride.
:'''Wheezie''': I'm so glad I was finally able to wait.
:'''Cassie''': Wheezie, your badge!
:'''Wheezie''': Oh, boy! Look, Zaky, look!
:'''Zak''': That good going, Wheezie!
:''[They both hug each other]''

==Season 3 (2005)==
===''To Fly with a New Friend, Part 1'' [3.01a]===
:''[first lines]''
:'''Max''': ''[imitates galloping hooves as he plays with his horse]'' Giddy-up! Yee-haw! I thought Enrique was coming over to play, Emmy.
:'''Emmy''': He is, Max. Isn't it great having a new friend living next door?
:'''Max''': Yeah.
:''[knocking on the door is heard.]''
:'''Emmy and Max''': Come in!
:''[the door opens and Enrique comes in the playroom.]''
:'''Emmy''': Hi!
:'''Max''': Hi, Enrique!
:'''Enrique''': ''Hola!'' ''Que tal?''
:'''Emmy''': Great!
:'''Max''': How's it going?
:'''Enrique''': ''Bien.'' Okay... I guess.
:'''Max''': ''[offers another horse toy]'' Wanna play cowboy?
:'''Enrique''': ''[grabs the horse toy]'' I have an uncle who is a real-life cowboy. A ''vaquero''. I used to ride horses with him back home.
:'''Max''': Was that in [[Mexico]]? That's where our ''abuelita (Spanish for: grandma)'' is from.
:'''Enrique''': No, in [[Columbia]]. But then we moved to [[Puerto Rico]], and I didn't get to ride so much. ''[pause; Emmy and Max look at him confused and skeptical]'' You guys would ''love'' Puerto Rico! You could play on the beach and swim, and... ''[sighs sadly]''
:'''Emmy''': You really miss it, huh?
:'''Enrique''': ''A veces.'' Uh, sometimes. It's so different [[United States|here]], and it's just hard.
:'''Max''': But you speak English really good.
:'''Emmy''': &quot;Really ''well''&quot;.
:''[Max glares at her.]''
:'''Enrique''': It's not that, it's just... I don't know. I've tried to make friends at school but all the kids all know each other already. And they all talk about stuff I don't know anything about.
:'''Max''': Anything you want to know about, I'm an expert!
:'''Emmy''': ''[giggles]'' Oh, brother!
:'''Enrique''': ''Gracias'', Max. I just wish there was a place where everyone was as friendly as you and Emmy.
:'''Max''': We know a place like that!
:'''Emmy''': ''[whispers]'' Max! ''[glares at him]''
:'''Max''': ''[whispers]'' Why can't we take Enrique there?
:'''Emmy''': Because we... we just can't. ''[Max smiles at her]'' Well, maybe. I guess. ''[smiles]'' Definitely!
:'''Max''': ''[giggles]''
:''[Emmy runs to the drawer and Max follows her. She opens the drawer, picks up the case and opens it, revealing the magic dragon scale.]''
:'''Enrique''': Wow, that is so beautiful! ''Que es eso? (Spanish for: What's that?]''
:'''Max''': It's a dragon scale!
:'''Enrique''': ''[chuckles]'' Sure, right. Seriously, what makes it glow like that?
:'''Max''': It's magical. It takes us to a place called Dragon Land.
:'''Enrique''': Come on! ''[Emmy and Max smile at him]'' Okay, so how does it work?
:'''Emmy''': Well, Max and I hold the scale and say: ''I wish, I wish, with all my heart, to fly with dragons in a land apart.'' And whoosh, we're there!
:'''Max''': ''[picks out the scale]'' You want to try?
:''[Enrique is hesitant as first but shrugs and decides to give it a try as he, Emmy and Max hold the scale together.]''
:'''Emmy and Max''': I wish, I wish, with all my heart...
:'''Enrique''': I wish, I wish, with all I've got...
:'''Emmy''': No, it's ''&quot;with all my heart&quot;''!
:'''Enrique''': Ah, ''corazon''! Heart! Sorry!
:''[Emmy, Max and Enrique hold the scale together.]''
:'''Emmy, Max and Enrique''': I wish, I wish, with all my heart, to fly with dragons in a land apart.
:''[The scale shines bright.]''
:'''Enrique''': ''[gasps]''
:''[The dragon tapestries come to life and leap off the wallpaper, and spin around Emmy, Max and Enrique as the three are surrounded in a colorful sparkling light.]''
:'''Enrique''': What? Whoa! No way!
:''[Emmy, Max and Enrique transport to Dragon Land.]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;85%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Zak and Wheezie fly in.]''
:'''Wheezie''': Ooooooh, I just loooove making a new friend... Hello! I'm Wheezie, and this is my brother, Zak!
:'''Enrique''': Ah... Ohhhhh... Hello, I'm... '''YOU HAVE TWO HEADS!'''
:'''Zak''': Yeah. Hers does most to the talking, mine does most to the thinking! ''[laugh]''
:'''Wheezie''': Oh, Zaky... Ooh, I almost forgot! Quetzal sent us to find you, he need us for something veeeery important...
:'''Enrique''': Quetzal?
:'''Cassie''': He's our teacher at the school in the sky, Enrique...
:'''Max''': Come on! You'll really like him...
:''[Max rides Ord and Emmy rides Cassie.]''
:'''Zak''': You can ride in us, Enrique...
:'''Enrique''': Ride on a dragon's back?
:'''Max''': Of course.
:'''Enrique''': Okay, I've read in horses this can't be that much more difficult. ''[rides Zak and Wheezie]''
:'''Zak''': Hang on tight, Enrique!
:'''Enrique''': Okay... You're not gonna run too fast are you?
:'''Zak''': Who said anything about running?
:'''Wheezie''': You're gonna fly!

===''To Fly with a New Friend, Part 2'' [3.01b]===
:'''Enrique''': Where are we now?
:'''Ord''': Don't know, Enrique... Some kind of garden...
:'''Cassie''': And it's full of knucker holes.
:'''Zak''': Mystery solved. The knuckle holes disappear, some kind of magic brought him here.
:'''Emmy''': But who did the magic?
:'''Quanita''': That would be me... ''[comes down from the tree using his magic wand]'' Hi. I'm Quanita, junior wizard, uh... in training.
:'''Wheezie''': '''AM I MAD!'''
:'''Max''': Yeah, cause you shouldn't take what doesn't belong you! That's not right.
:'''Quanita''': Oh, I am so sorry, let me explain.
:'''Zak''': Oh... To this oughta be good...
:'''Quanita''': Easy... The head wizard asked me to plant all these speckled trees, but it would take me forever to dig holes for all of them...
:'''Ord''': There sure are a lot of them...
:'''Quanita''': So I waved my wand and made a wish for holes to plant them in, and well, these are what appeared. Huh... I am afraid I am not a good wizard.
:''[Everyone looks worried]''
:'''Zak''': Ahhhhh... Anybody can make a mistake, with she makes them constantly.
:'''Wheezie''': '''SURE DO...!'''
:'''Cassie''': Maybe you just need practice, Quanita.
:'''Quanita''': You think?
:'''Emmy''': Definitely.
:'''Quanita''': I'll reverse the wish and send all the knuckle holes back.
:'''Zak''': Get ready to jump everybody, we're going home with the knuckle holes!
:'''Enrique''': Wait! Before we go, we can help Quanita plant her trees.
:'''Emmy''': That's the great idea, Enrique, it's a big job for one little wizard.
:'''Enrique''': Can you make a wish for shovels?
:'''Quanita''': I can try...
:'''Max''': You did it!
:'''Wheezie''': '''LET'S GET TICKING!'''

===''Rise and Bloom'' [3.02a]===
:'''Max''': Come on, little guys. Rise and bloom. Hmm. I think then need a little moe help waking up. 
:''[all join in, singing in Spanish]'' 

===''Super Snow Day'' [3.02b]===

===''Musical Scales'' [3.03a]===
:'''Zak''': You heard, Wheezie! We aren't here! Oops! I mean, Wheezie and I aren't...! Oh! Oh, I give up.
:'''Wheezie''': Awwwwwwww... I had them fooled until you put our foot in your mouth...
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zak''': Our song is called ''&quot;El Coqui&quot;'', the frog!
:'''Enrique''': I taught them that song ''en español'' and english.
:''[Music playing]''
:'''Wheezie''': ♪ My Coqui, little frog, how I love you... ♪
:'''Zak''': ♪ For your song is be comfort and peace... ♪
:'''Wheezie''': ♪ Every night I can go to sleep happy... ♪
:'''Zak''': ♪ When I hear lullabies from Coqui. ♪
:'''Both''': ♪ Coqui, Coqui... ♪
:'''Zak''': '''OH! OW! OH!'''
:'''Wheezie''': ♪ Coqui, Coqui, Coqui... ♪
:'''Enrique''': I didn't teach you this part.
:'''Zak''': ''[jumping]'' '''OOH! AHH!''' 
:'''Wheezie''': ''[jumping]'' '''AAH! OOOH!'''
:'''Zak''': Can you feel that? Uhh. Itchy! Ah!
:'''Cassie''': I think we'd better try something else. Hmmmmm... Maybe we could cover up the bald spots.
:'''Max''': With what?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wheezie''': Why didn't I ever think of wearing all my fancy clothes at the same time before?
:'''Zak''': Because we look like someone dumped a laundry basketover our heads... This almost looks worse than shedding.
:''[Ord, Cassie and Emmy laugh]''
:'''Max''': No! You look like rock stars really. Play!
:''[Music playing]''
:'''Zak''': ♪ My Coqui, little frog, how I love you... ♪
:'''Wheezie''': ♪ For your song is be comfort and peace... ♪
:'''Zak''': ''[concerned]'' ♪ A belt has come loose and it's slipping... ♪
:'''Wheezie''': ♪ Well, grab it before it falls off. ♪
:'''Zak''': ♪ Coqui, Coqui... ♪ Oh! ♪ Coqui, qui, qui... ♪ '''YOW!'''
:'''Wheezie''': ♪ Coqui, Coqui... ♪
:'''Zak''': '''WOW!'''
:''[They both fall to the floor]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zak''': '''WHOA!'''
:'''Wheezie''': ''[laugh]'' Oh, sorry. I can't help it!
:'''Zak''': That is a b-a-d haircut.

===''Hand in Hand'' [3.03b]===
:'''Enrique''': Wow!
:'''Emmy''': Hey!
:'''Max''': Ow!
:''[Enrique gasps]'' 
:'''Zak''' and '''Wheezie''': 1, 2, 3, pull! Pull!
:'''Enrique''': Pare! Stop! What are you doing?

===''Sky Soccer'' [3.04a]===
:'''Ord''': Wow! That looks like so much fun! I can't wait to be on the team...
:'''Emmy''': Have you ever played sky soccer before, Ord?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wheezie''': ''[annoyed]'' '''WELL, DON'T TAKE ALL DAY!'''
:'''Zak''': Okay, okay, here goes nothing...!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ord''': I'm not sure I can remember all that.

===''Itching for a Cure'' [3.05a]===
:'''Emmy''': ''Careful.'' 
:'''Max''': ''I am.''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Enrique''': Sorry, I'm late. 
:'''Emmy''' and '''Max''': Huh?
:'''Enrique''': ''[speaks in Spanish]'' ''Sorry.'' I didn't mean to knock down your card house.
:'''Emmy''': That's okay, Enrique.
:'''Max''': Yeah, we we're just practicing for the big house of cards we're gonna build in Dragon Land.

===''The Big Race'' [3.05b]===

===''Max Loves a Train'' [3.06b]===
:'''Max''': All aboooooard!!! Choooooooo, Choooooooo!!! Chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga!
:'''Enrique''': Wow, Max. What a cool model train set from hobby lobby!
:'''Emmy''': [imitating engine's wheels &amp; whistles as a steam train]  Choo, choo, choo, choo, Woo-woo! Max loves steam engine trains going down by the station, Enrique.
:'''Max''': Yeah, and today, we get to ride the Dragon Land Express. Chug, chug, Whoo, whoo, Off we go!
:'''Enrique''': I know. I can't wait about pufferbellies. A Pufferbelly is a big old train with a steam engine. Choo-choo-choo-choo. 
:'''Emmy''': [giggles then she have a great idea to wear bandannas, engineer caps, and gloves, to Enrique and Max for help in pretend play] Should we sing &quot;Down by the Station&quot;? 
:'''Max and Enrique''': [nods their heads in agreement, smiley] Yes! We agreed! We agreed! Choo-choo!! 
:'''Emmy''': [giggles] OK. [making train sounds] Chug, chug, toot, toot  Go To The DragonLand! [They puts both hands on her shoulders] All aboard! Puff, puff, woo, woo, Let's go for Ride! [she imitating train noise from the down by the station song] Puff, puff, Toot, toot! Off we go! Puff, puff, Toot, toot! Off we go!
:'''Emmy, Max and Enrique''':  [chugging with the dragon scale as a train, puffing out smoke with the tune of the song makes the dragons on the wall come to life and made the magic tunnel and the very railroad whistle sounds on the magic buffers] Down by the station, Early in the morning, See the little pufferbellies, All in a row. See the stationmaster, Turn the little handle. Puff, puff, Toot, toot! Off we go! Puff, puff, Toot, toot! Off we go! Puff, puff, Toot, toot! Off we go! Puff, puff, Toot, toot! Off we go!

===''Prince for a Day'' [3.10a]===
:'''Enrique''': How are you two going to decide whose turn it is to clean up?
:'''Emmy and Max''': I know! Rock. Paper. Scissors! ''[they both do scissors]'' Rock. Paper. Scissors! ''[they both do rock]''

===''So Long Solo'' [3.10b]===
:''[After Wheezie's sheet music has sunken into a pond]''
:'''Zak''': Oh, Wheezie, it's all my fault! I guess I wasn't holding the music tight enough.
:'''Wheezie''': It was an accident, Zak. It's okay. I know that there'll be other shows next year.
:'''Zak''': Can't you play a different song? You know hundreds.
:'''Wheezie''': I didn't bring any other music.
:'''Zak''': Well, if you're not gonna perform, then I'm not gonna perform.
:'''Wheezie''': Don't say that! You worked hard on your juggle gym, and I want you to show it off.
:'''Zak''': ''[smiling]'' Really?
:'''Wheezie''': ''[also smiling]'' Yeah!
:''[At that moment, their badges start glowing.]''
:'''Wheezie''': Zak, look, our dragon badge!
:'''Zak''': Ha, it's glowing!
:'''Wheezie''': We must have really learned to...
:'''Zak''': ...work together!
:'''Wheezie''': Aw, Zaky!

===''Feliz Cumpleanos, Enrique'' [3.12a]===
:'''Dragons''': '''SURPRISE!'''
:'''Enrique''': This is all for me?
:'''Wheezie''': Absolutely... Happy birthday!
:''[Everyone it celebrates happily and laughing]''
:'''Quetzal''': ''Feliz cumpleaños, Enrique.''
:'''Enrique''': ''Gracias,'' Quetzal. ''Gracias,'' everybody!
:'''Quetzal''': I must go back to preparing tomorrow's lesson. Enjoy your party, niños!
:'''Everybody''': See you! Bye-bye!
:'''Cassie''': Will you help me pass these out, Emmy?
:'''Emmy''': Definitely.
:'''Wheezie''': Ooooooh, noisemakers, my favorite!
:'''Zak''': ''[annoyed]'' No surprise there.
:''[They all play the noisemakers and march with them, however stop when Enrique gets sad.]''
:'''Ord''': What's the matter, Enrique? Did your blower stop working?
:'''Enrique''': No... These remind me of the tiny whistles we used to hide in the frosting of birthday cakes back in Colombia.
:'''Emmy''': Why did you do that?
:'''Enrique''': ''[laughting]'' Because it was so much fun to pull them out and lick the gooey frosting off the whistles.
:''[Everyone laughs less Zak]''
:'''Wheezie''': '''LOOOOOOOVE IT!'''
:'''Zak''': Sounds messy to me!
:'''Enrique''': Hey! Is that a ''piñata''?
:'''Cassie''': Well, it does kind of look like one.
:'''Ord''': But we use it to play another really fun birthday game. 
:'''Max and Ord''': Pin the badge on the dragon.
:'''Cassie''': Each of us gets one of these!
:'''Max''': And you have to try to put it on the dragon's neck.
:'''Ord''': Like a dragon badge!
:'''Zak''': But the trick is you have to do it all... ''[takes out of his pouch a bandage]''
:'''Wheezie''': Blindfolded...!
:'''Emmy''': Whoever gets the closest is the winner.
:'''Max''': Wanna play?
:'''Enrique''': Sure!
:'''Ord''': Ooh, ooh, ooh, can I go first, uh?
:'''Cassie''': It's a Enrique's birthday award, maybe he should be the first.
:'''Enrique''': That's okay, Cassie, you can go first, Ord...
:'''Ord''': Oh, goody... Thanks, Enrique.
:'''Wheezie''': Ready-freddy?
:''[Zak and Wheezie blindfold Ord and spin him around]''
:'''Emmy''': '''COME ON, ORD...!'''
:''[Everyone is encourage for Ord]''
:'''Zak''': '''ALL RIGHT, ORD! KEEP GOING! KEEP GOING!'''
:''[Ord places the badge on the dragon's foot]''
:'''Ord''': How I do? How I do?
:'''Max''': ''[laugh]'' Now the dragon badge is a dragon shoe...
:''[Ord laugh]''
:'''Emmy''': Now it's your turn, Enrique...
:''[Ord blindfold Enrique and takes him away from the dragon, everyone is encourage for Enrique, he place the badge in the belly of the dragon and the blindfold is lifted.]''
:'''Ord''': ''[laughing]'' Wow!
:'''Max''': ''[laugh]'' Now it's a belly badge...
:''[Enrique laughs]''
:''[Next scene shows the group in the party wearing party hats and drinking juice from boxes. Cassie observes Enrique feeling sad again.]''
:'''Cassie''': ''[worried]'' Don't you like your party, Enrique?
:'''Enrique''': ''Claro que sí'', Cassie... It's really nice of everyone to do all this for me. It's just that... I'm actually feeling kind of sad!
:'''Ord''': Sad? On your birthday?
:'''Wheezie''': See? I told you we should have blown up more balloons...
:'''Zak''': It's not my fault I don't have as much hot air as you...!
:'''Enrique''': Zak, Wheezie, the balloons are ''fantásticas''. I guess it's just... I miss the parties we used to have back in Colombia. ''[he sits sadly on a rock and his friends approach him]''
:'''Cassie''': Hmmmmmm... What do you miss about those parties, Enrique?
:'''Emmy''': Because maybe talking about what you miss will help you not feel so sad.
:'''Enrique''': Well... My friends and family would get together and we'd celebrate, with music and games and all kinds of food.
:'''Wheezie''': Ooooooh, like a ''fiesta''! ''Fiestas'' are so festive!
:'''Enrique''': Sometimes we play the stereo and the grown-ups would hand out instruments, like ''güiros'' and ''maracas'', and we dance along with the music.
:''[His friends look at him listening with interest]''
:'''Enrique''': ''[sad again]'' Ah... I sure missed those parties.
:'''Zak''': Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Wheezie?
:'''Wheezie''': If you're thinking what I'm thinking, Zaky...
:'''Cassie''': I'm thinking it too?
:'''Emmy''': Definitely.
:'''Ord''': What's everyone thinking, Max?
:'''Emmy''': That we can make music the way they did it Enrique's parties.
:'''Wheezie''': Something like this? ''[play music like a xylophone on their scales with Zak]''
:'''Enrique''': That's great, Wheezie!
:''[Everyone starts dancing]''
:'''Enrique''': All we need now are some ''maracas'' and it'll be just like back home.
:'''Zak''': Got any ''maracas'' and that messy pouch of yours, Wheezie?
:'''Wheezie''': Let's see! Hmmmmm... No... Oh! Been looking for that... ''[reaches into his pouch and pulls out a umbrella without fabric, a boot, an accordion and throws them into the air]'' Ah... Oh... No maracas.
:'''Emmy''': Maybe we can make some.
:'''Cassie''': That's a great idea, Emmy...
:'''Max''': Yeah! ''[he scratches the head]'' Huh... How are we gonna do that?
:'''Ord''': I know... ''[goes to some trees and collects five seed pods, returns and pours the seeds into his hand]''
:'''?''':What's that?
:'''Ord''': Dragon pods seeds make a really shaky sound when they're inside my pouch just like ''maracas''. ''[put the seeds in his pouch and makes it sound]''
:'''Max''': ''[laugh]'' We can't all shake your pouch, Ord...
:'''Ord''': Oh, right. ''[laugh]''
:''[Everyone laughs and Wheezie drink his juice from box]''
:'''Enrique''': How about if we put the seeds inside the empty juice boxes and shake them?
:'''Everyone''': '''YEAH! GREAT!'''
:''[Everyone finishes drinking their juice boxes, Ord takes the seeds out of his pouch and places them in the juice boxes]''
:'''Max''': It works! Listen to this! ''[shaking his juice box]''
:'''Ord''': That's great, Max, sounds is good as my pouch!
:'''Wheezie''': All right, everybody, let's ''ma-rraca'' and roll!
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': And the ''uno'' and the ''dos''!
:''[They both play the tune on their scales again while the others rattle their juice box maracas and dance happily to the music.]''
:'''Everyone''': '''ALL RIGHT, ZAK AND WHEEZIE! YEAH! ALL RIGHT!''' ''[laugh]''
:'''Max''': That sounded really cool!
:'''Cassie''': I love played the ''maracas''...
:'''Everyone''': '''YES!'''
:''[Emmy laugh]''
:'''Enrique''': Me too! It reminds me of my family and friends in Colombia. Hmmm... ''[becomes sad again]''
:'''Ord''': Are you starting to feel sad again, Enrique?
:'''Enrique''': A little...
:''[His friends looks worried]''
:'''Wheezie''': Well then, how's about we whip up some more ''fiesta'' fun? We can do the Dragonland Conga!
:'''Zak''': What do you say, Enrique?
:'''Enrique''': It sounds great but... Maybe later. ''[walks away sadly under the worried gaze of his friends and Cassie runs to him]''
:'''Cassie''': Enrique, sometimes when I feel sad, I go talk with Quetzal. He helps me figure out my feelings.
:'''Enrique''': Maybe I should.
:''[Changes at the school in the sky]''
:'''Enrique''': A-ah... And everybody's trying so hard to make me a nice party, a-ah... And I really appreciate it... And I really want to have fun... a-ah... And make the sad feeling go away, but it keeps coming back.
:'''Quetzal''': I understand, Enrique. I too sometimes feel sad.
:'''Enrique''': You do?
:'''Quetzal''': Sí, Enrique, and sometimes when I'm feeling especially sad. It seems as if there is only one thing that I want to do.
:'''Enrique''': What's that?
:'''Quetzal''': Cry... Perhaps that is the way you feel right now.
:'''Enrique''': I always heard that boys... They don't... They're not supposed to...
:'''Quetzal''': Ahhhhhhh... They are not supposed to cry because it is not ''macho''.
:'''Enrique''': ''Sí''.
:'''Quetzal''': There is no shame in crying, Enrique. Trust me, in can be a find way to let the sadness out.
:''[Enrique and Quetzal hug each other and he starts crying, after a while then Enrique leaves school more calm down]''
:'''Everyone''': '''HI, ENRIQUE!'''
:'''Enrique''': ''Hola'', everyone.
:'''Ord''': Are you okay, Enrique? You look like you've been crying.
:'''Enrique''': ''Sí'', but it's okay. Quetzal told me crying helps let the sadness out, and he was right.
:''[His friends nod their heads]''
:'''Emmy''': You do seem happier now, Enrique...
:'''Enrique''': ''Sí'', Emmy. I still feel a little sad, but mostly I feel like it's my birthday and I want to have fun!
:'''Everyone''': ''[celebrating]'' '''GOOD!'''
:'''Enrique''': So if you still want to, maybe we could do the Dragonland Conga?
:'''Everyone''': ''[celebrating]'' '''YEAH! WOO-HOO!'''
:'''Wheezie''': '''LOOOOOOOVE IT!'''
:'''Everyone''': ''[dancing]'' ♪ Feliz cumpleaños... ♪ ''[3 times]''
:'''Enrique''': I don't feel sad anymore, Quetzal!
:'''Quetzal''': ''¡Que bueno, Enrique!''
:''[Everyone laughs celebrating and dancing]''
:'''Max, Emmy and Enrique''': I wish, I wish to use this rhyme to go back home until next time. ''[Then disappear and appear back in the playroom]''
:'''Enrique''': ''Muchas gracias por todo'', Max and Emmy.
:'''Emmy''': You're welcome, Enrique...
:'''Max''': ''De nada...''
:'''Enrique''': You know, my ''papá'' said derby birthday cake when he got home from work... You want to come over?
:'''Emmy''': Cake?
:'''Max''': '''YEAH!'''
:'''Emmy''': Are there gonna be tiny whistles in the frosty?
:'''Enrique''': You bet!
:'''Max''': I want to lick the frosting off!
:'''Enrique''': Me too!
:'''Emmy''': Me three!

===''Moving On'' [3.16a]===
:'''Emmy''': Hey, the dragon scale is glowing.
:'''Max''': They need us in Dragon Land.

===''Something's Missing'' [3.24b]===
:'''Max''': I wish, I wish, with all my heart, to fly with dragons in a land apart.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Max''': I can't wait to see if there's a letter from Emmy, then Mom can read it to me. And I really can't wait till Emmy gets my letter.

===''Hello, Ms. Tipps'' [3.26b]===

===''Just the Two of Us'' [3.29a]===
:'''Zak and Wheezie's mom''': All right, Zak and Wheezie...
:'''Zak and Wheezie's dad''': You can open your eyes now...
:'''Wheezie''': Ooh! I love surprises, they're so... '''SURPRISING...!'''
:'''Zak''': What is it?
:'''Zak and Wheezie's mom''': It's my dragon links building kit. I played with it when I was a little dragon.
:'''Zak and Wheezie's dad''': We know how hard it is to play outside when Polly is tuning her weather machine. So we thought they would have fun playing with it now.
:'''Wheezie''': Looooove it! Let's make a sculpture, a work of art!
&lt;hr width=&quot;80%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wheezie''': Who wants to go swimming?
:'''Max''': Swimming? But... I've never seen a dragon links building kit before.
:'''Wheezie''': Ohhhhh... ''[stroking his head]'' Who wants to be cooped up on a beautiful day like today, right, Zak?
:'''Zak''': Huh?... Oh... All right! Let's play while the sun... i-i-is out!
&lt;hr width=&quot;80%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Emmy''': So... Wheezie, what's your mom and dad's dragon links building kit look like?
:'''Wheezie''': Well, it got lots of pieces you put together to make... ''[Zak covers his snout]''
:'''Zak''': Nothing.
:'''Wheezie''': ''[while Zak gets angry]'' What? Oh! Yeah, nothing. Hey! '''LOOK, IT'S... A SNOWSTORM...!'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;80%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wheezie''': '''HOLD IT STEADY, ZAK...!'''
:'''Zak''': '''I'M TRYING!''' But it's too heavy to hold up all by myself. ''[the pieces fall to the floor]'' We could use Ord's muscles.
:'''Wheezie''': ''[smile]'' What if we asked Ord to help us?
:'''Zak''': Okay, but only Ord. Everybody else can only see it when we're done.

===''Cowboy Max'' [3.29b]===
'''YEE-HAW!'''

===''Flip Flop'' [3.30a]===
:'''Max''': Hey! Zak is acting like Wheezie!
:'''Ord''': And Wheezie is acting like Zak.
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': We are? '''WE ARE!'''
:'''Wheezie''': '''OOOOOH!'''
:'''Zak''': '''AHHHHHHHHH!'''
:'''Cassie''': Maybe Quetzal will know why this is hapenning.
&lt;hr width=&quot;40%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wheezie''': Let's get's over with.
:'''Zak''': Oh, oh, oh!... Wait!... I want to hold it.
:'''Wheezie''': It doesn't matter who holds it.
:'''Zak''': ''[annoyed]'' You held it last time!
&lt;hr width=&quot;40%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zak''': Now we can make a wish to flip-flop back. '''HOOOOORAY...!''' ''[he flies away with Wheezie, they do two somersaults and fall to the ground]''
:'''Wheezie''': Ohhhhhhhhhhhh...
:'''Emmy''': Wheezie, are you okay?
:'''Max''': You're that funny color that Zak turns when you do somersaults.
:'''Wheezie''': Oh, gee, Zak, is this how you feel when I make us do somersaults?
:'''Zak''': If you mean all dizzy-wizzy in your head and icky-sicky in our stomach, yes...
:'''Wheezie''': Oh, I'm sorry, Zaky, I didn't know it made you feel so bad.
&lt;hr width=&quot;40%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wheezie''': There's no one else here! This is hopeless. Zaaak... We already looked in the dailing flowers...
:'''Zak''': See what I made?
:'''Wheezie''': Why are you acting so silly when we have something important to do?
:'''Zak''': Ooh... Can't we have fun at the same time...?
:'''Ord''': Usually Zak is the one who gets upset because Wheezie acting silly...
:'''Zak''': Wheezie, when you act silly sometimes, aren't you just trying to make the job fun?
:'''Wheezie''': Huh, just like you're doing now.
:'''Zak''': '''OHHHHHHH!''' ''[laugh]'' 
&lt;hr width=&quot;40%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zak''': '''FOLLOW THAT STATUE!'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;40%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wheezie''': Woo-hoo! I feel the tickle-lickle, that beautiful statue must have granted our wish...
:'''Quetzal''': So, Zak, how do you feel being back to your old self?
:'''Zak''': '''LOOOOOOOVE IT!'''
:''[Everyone gasps]''
:'''Zak''': Hey, I can be silly too...
:''[Everyone laugh]''

==Cast==
* [[w:Andrea Libman|Andrea Libman]] as Emmy
* Danny McKinnon as Max 
* Aida Ortega as Enrique 
* [[w:Chantal Strand|Chantal Strand]] as Cassie 
* [[w:Ty Olsson|Ty Olsson]] as Ord 
* Jason Michas as Zak
* [[w:Kathleen Barr|Kathleen Barr]] as Wheezie

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Dragon Tales}} 

[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:Canadian children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:Canadian children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated education TV shows]]
[[Category:Canadian children's animated education TV shows]]
[[Category:PBS Kids shows]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about children]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about dragons]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about siblings]]</text>
      <sha1>60bd87vza97kzgwxd7o28ihxbmbba2n</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943961</id>
      <parentid>3943957</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T14:35:58Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943961</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="143780" sha1="eqb1i28r3s2y63hvts3l729nzc5jcdv" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Dragon Tales|Dragon Tales]]''''' (1999–2005) is a English-French language American-Canadian-Quebecois 2D animated (traditional, hand-drawn 2D animation (traditional, hand-inked, hand-painted, and hand-colored cel animation (Pilot) (1999 (un-produced/un-aired))/(Season 1) (1999-2000)/digital inking-and-painting, and coloring animation (Seasons 2-3) (2001-2005))) educational fantasy children's television series in which two human siblings named Emmy, who was a 7-year old girl, and her younger brother named Max, who was a 5-year old boy, and later their new next-door neighbor named Enrique, who was a 8-year old boy, who was first appeared in Season 3, go on adventures in a magical land of dragons of three types, which are earth, winged and horned. The show was produced by the Children's Television Workshop (Season 1) (1999-2000)/Sesame Workshop (Seasons 2-3) (2001-2005), and Columbia TriStar Television (Seasons 1-2) (1999-2002)/Sony Pictures Television (Season 3) (2005), and distributed by Columbia TriStar Television Distribution (Season 1) (1999-2000)/Columbia TriStar Domestic Television (Season 2) (2001-2002)/Sony Pictures Television (Season 3) (2005), and was un-aired on broadcast syndication (regional syndication (first-run syndication)/public broadcasting syndication) (Pilot) (1999), and PBS (PTV/PTV Park) (Pilot) (1999) in English, in the United States, and CBC Television (CBC Playground) (Pilot) (1999) in English, in Canada, and Radio-Canada Television (Pilot) (1999) in French, in Canada, and Quebec, for the un-aired 24-minute pilot episode (un-aired two 12-minute pilot segments), called ''One Small Step for Cassie'', which was the first pilot segment, and ''Circle of Friends'', which was the second pilot segment, until the show was later aired on PBS (PBS Kids) (Seasons 1-3) (1999-2005) in English, in the United States, and CBC Television (Seasons 1-3) (1999-2005) (CBC Playground (Season 1) (1999-2000)/Get Set for Life (Season 2) (2001-2002)/Kids' CBC (Season 3) (2005)) in English, in Canada, and Radio-Canada Television (Seasons 1-3) (1999-2005) in French, in Canada, and Quebec, and was un-produced in mid-1999, for the un-aired 26-minute pilot episode (un-aired two 12-minute pilot segments), called ''One Small Step for Cassie'', which was the first pilot segment, and ''Circle of Friends'', which was the second pilot segment, until the show was later debuted on September 6, 1999, and ended on April 11, 2005. The show was aimed at younger children in elementary school ages, and from ages 5 to 8.

==Season 1 (1999-2000)==
===''To Fly with Dragons'' [1.1a]===
===''The Forest of Darkness'' [1.1b]===
:'''Mom''': Emmy, Max, everything all right up here?''
:'''Emmy''': Yeah, Mom. We were just coloring. There. Look what I did.
:'''Max''': Whoa. This looks just like Cassie.
:'''Emmy''': Maybe it's because it was Cassie. And I'm gonna give it to her as a gift.
:'''Max''': Were you going to Dragon Land? Yeah. Me too. Because I got a great surprise for Ord. And he's gonna like it.
:'''Emmy''': What is that?
:'''Max''': It's bubble gum. And I've only been chewing it one time. Hey. Maybe we should get something for Zak, and Wheezie.
:'''Emmy''': I know. Maybe we should let them borrow our harmonicas. So, come on. Max, Let's just go to Dragon Land.

===''To Kingdom Come'' [1.2a]===
:'''Emmy''': If you'd shared the Wish Shell in the first place, Ord, we definitely wouldn't be in this mess!
&lt;hr width=&quot;55%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ord breaks off a tiny piece of his cupcake and offers it to Monsieur Marmadune, however is not enough.]''
:'''Monsieur Marmadune''': This was sharing?
:'''Ord''': ''[breaks off a larger piece of his cupcake]'' This much?
:'''Max''': More...
:'''Ord''': ''[breaks another piece again]'' This much?
:'''Max''': More...
:'''Ord''': ''[depressed]'' Oh... this was so hard! ''[until ultimately divide his cupcake in half and offers it to Monsieur Marmadune]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;55%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ord''': Hey look, my dragon badge is shining! I did it, I shared!

===''Good-bye, Little Caterpoozle!'' [1.2b]===

*''[When Emmy, Max, Ord, Cassie, Zak, and Wheezie saw Poozie, the caterpoozle, inside a silk sack --called a [[w:chrysalis|chrysalis]]-- and is sleeping inside it.]''
*'''Cassie''': ''[gasps]'' Oh, she is dead! ''[cries]'' Oh, Poozie!

===''Knot a Problem'' [1.3a]===

===''Ord's Unhappy Birthday'' [1.3b]===
:''[The episode starts out in the playroom where Max and Emmy are wrapping presents. Emmy’s is all wrapped up quick and angrily-ish while Max’s is rather wrinkled and uneven.]''
:'''Max''': Look Emmy! I'm done wrapping my birthday present for Ord. Neat, huh?
:''[Max holds up his present, but the ribbon unravels and falls off.]''
:'''Emmy''': [unsure] I'm late, I'm late, I'm late, Max!
:''[Max struggles to tie the ribbon back on. Emmy refuse to help.]''
:'''Emmy''':   No time, no time, no time! For a very important date. No time to make a bow for you. I'm late, I'm late, I'm late.
:'''Max''': Now, this is curious. It must be awfully important, like a party or something. 
:''[Max puts his left index finger on the knot while Emmy ties the bow. But it ends up being so tight, Max's finger gets stuck in the ribbon.]''
:'''Max''': Hey! My finger’s stuck!
:'''Emmy''': [with voice raised and sounding genuinely annoyed] Come on, Max, there is no time to help Cassie! This no time to get ready for Ord's surprise birthday party!
:''[Max and Emmy hold the scale and start saying their lately wish.]''
:'''Max and Emmy''': I'm late, I'm late, I'm late with all my very important heart. No time to fly with dragons in a land apart.
:''[The dragons on the wall come to life and circle around the kids flying faster and faster until they disappear in a bright light and soon they arrive in DragonLand.]''
:'''Emmy''': We're late!  This is the perfect rush to Cassie!!
:'''Max''': I'm late!!! 
:''[Max grabs her wrist and they're running to the dragon tail waving behind a tree but is blue, not pink.]''
:'''Max''': Cassie! I'm late, I'm late....
:''[The figure that comes out from behind the tree is, in fact, a door banging and pounding]''
:'''Emmy''': ''[angrily whispering, hissing irritated, quietly]''  '''SHHH!!'''  Quiet, Max! Don't say such things to King Ord! Hide your present!
:''[Emmy swipes her gift behind her back and Max tries to hide his but his finger is still stuck on the bow. Ord approaches the kids and he bows down.]''
:'''Ord''': Max, Emmy, I'm ruler of my birthday! Look what mom and dad got me! ''[shows them a pencil with a feathery end and he draws a little tic-tac-toe grid in midair]''
:'''Ord''': It draws on anything, how much greater I'd be! What a king! I'd be ruler of all that I see! Oh, you wanna bark orders?
:'''Max''': Leave me alone!
:'''Emmy''': We are not friends!
:''[Suddenly, Ord Gets Growling In Frustration At The Angry Snaps And He Launches Into An Rage Outburst]'' '''YOU KNOW WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!''' 
:'''Emmy''': [thunders angrily] '''OH REALLY, ORD, ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?! IT ISN'T FAIR! IT IS, IN FACT, A COMPLETE AND TOTAL OUTRAGE!!!''' We're angry with you, Your Majesty. I'm serious! Today's your birthday! So you '''LEAVE ME ALONE!!!'''
:'''Ord''':  No! You're just not looking hard enough! I don't wanna play!
:''[Max is angry without say yes, he remembered...]''
:'''Max''': You can't. No time to meet Cassie, I will NEVER seen you again and leave me alone forever.
:'''Emmy''': ''[interrupting]'' I'm upset!  
:'''Ord''': Louder!
:'''Emmy''': [loud] I'm upset! 
:'''Ord''': '''LOUDER!'''
:'''Emmy''': [louder] '''I'M UPSET!'''
:'''Ord''': [shouting to enraged] '''SILENCE!! For the final TIME, SAY IT LOUDER!!!'''
:'''Emmy''': [turns red in anger, furiously growls]  '''I'M UPSET!!! I SAID &quot;STOP IT&quot;!!! I'M REALLY TIRED OF YOU!!!''' I’m never let you again! Never, Never, NEVER letting mention that being such a bully, and you didn't do anything that’s mine ever having a picnic without Cassie! 
:'''Ord''': (growls angry as well) Well, Today's my very favorite day of the year, than you would be better off without me, I've ruined their lives, and I wish I'd never been born!
:'''Emmy''': (angrily) I'm late!! I'm very late!!! Now I won't want my help tomorrow anymore to get out of here and you're going our separate ways forever is much too braggy as bossy king! So, this is no fun to be boss around your dumb the whole day with you doing all kinds of ridiculous straight with you, King Ord! Now get out, or you're '''FIRED!! I! GIVE!! UP!!!'''
:'''Ord''': (enraged with angriest) '''I'M KING!!! I WILL NEVER SPEAKING TO EITHER ONE OF YOU EVER AGAIN!!!''' 
:'''Max''': '''YOU ARE FIRED!! I want you to get out, NOOW! and that's an order!!!'''
:'''Ord''': [angrily shouts] '''I'M KING TO COMMAND YOU, SILENCE!!!!!'''
:'''Emmy and Max''': '''STOP IT!!!'''
:'''Ord''': (Turns red) '''YOU'RE FIRED!!!''' 
:'''Emmy''':  [wailing angrily] '''YOU YELLED AT ME!!!''' [Turns Red With Anger, Growls Furiously And Angrily Fed Up] '''GRRRARRGH!''' I’m done with you without your birthday! '''I'LL SMASH YOUR BIRTHDAY AWAY!!! THAT BOSSY KING IS STUPID ANYWAY!!!''' 
:'''Ord''': '''YOUR HEIRS!!!'''
:'''Max''': '''LEAVE!!!'''
:'''Ord''': [angry, raising an eyebrow] '''I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!!!'''
:'''Emmy and Max''': [furiously pointing] '''OUT!''' 
:'''Ord''': [snaps] '''I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BORN!!!!!'''
:'''Emmy and Max''': ''[they're angrily pushing Ord and furiously slams the door, leaving Ord all alone, pointing once more]'' '''OUT!'''
:'''Ord''': [starts growls madly] That's it, I am the ruler of all that I'm leaving!!! [storms off furiously at a huff]
:''[The kids later arrived angrily &amp; lately at the treehouse.]''
:'''Max''': ''[firmly whispering]'' I'll never join the secret knock!
:''[Angry, Emmy shakes her fist in rages out a series of gasps, which get more tense by  shoves into his mouth, hearing banging &amp; pounding on the door many times and makes them growling. The door opens, furiously revealing Cassie.]''
:'''Cassie''': Shh, Calm down, Max! calm down, Emmy! Shush, shush! You must be upset. Are you upset?! I thought you were Ord.
:'''Max''':  [sadly] No, this was Ord's fault with a mix up with psychical violence blame. Look, King Ord’s too angry about being bossy birthday in the meadow.
:''[Max and Emmy head inside while Cassie gets a little worried that Ord might have followed them.]''
:'''Cassie''':  What's wrong with you, Emmy? Come on.
:'''Emmy''': [growls] I don't want to hear about ord. We had too frustrated when he's way too bossy.
:'''Max''': [glares] Of course you're so late! I don't understand make him bossy traitor!? If you do, you're fired at military school!
:'''Cassie''': Just chill out, chill out. I bet he couldn’t play with the bossiness of King Ord, who's willing to barked orders until we surprise him. So don't say a word 'til you two can help me blow up the balloons.
:''[Cassie hands Max and Emmy grabs a balloon angrily. Max tries inflate one up but release and comes out flying. Max then wobbles around holding his head.]''
:'''Max''': Wow! I’m dizzy.
:'''Cassie''': Don’t worry, Max. I’ll blow them up.
:''[Cassie blows up a balloon herself.]''
:'''Max''': Hey, That's insane!
:''[Emmy swipes Max the balloons.]''
:'''Emmy''': You have done that to me too many times, Max. I will not stand for what you did! You're fired! So you '''LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!'''
:'''Max''': [angry] Go Away, Em!
:''[She furiously storms off without helping Max as he holding three balloons, a green and pointy one with yellow spots, and lavender one shaped like a star and a pink one with a smiley face on it, to whom Max sticks his tongue out and laugh.]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;90%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zak''': Ord! What's the matter with you, Your Majesty?
:'''Wheezie''': Why are you angry, Your Majesty? 
:'''Ord''': (ragingly) You hush up your mouth, Go away and no right to talk to leave me alone, and I wish I'd never been born!!!
:'''Zak''': Do you hear that?
:'''Wheezie''': Really? ''[Looks to the ones on top of their heads.]'' Oh, those hats. Those aren’t party hats. They're uh... umm...
:'''Zak''': Rain-hats. Only it's not raining. Guess we don’t need them, Wheezie.
&lt;hr width=&quot;90%&quot;/&gt;:''[Just then his royal banging and a pounding is heard on the door.]''
:'''Zak''': ''[whispering]'' Is he coming this way?!
:'''Sid Sycamore''': ''[whispering]'' That wasn’t the secret knock. It’s King Ord! He rudes everything!
:''[Everyone gasps &amp; scrambles to hide everything very quickly. Zak and Wheezie take the pizza, Max puts away the party hats, and Emmy swipes the balloons and hands them to Sid Sycamore without taking.]''
:'''Sid Sycamore''': [warns her] Emmy, no swiping! Emmy, no swiping! Emmy, no swiping!
:'''Emmy''': [madder] Sid, You're fired! I'm too angry! '''YOU ARE FIRED!!'''
:'''Sid Sycamore''': [angrily scolding] It's too late, you're a crook... [furiously] You're a '''CHEAT''' and a '''SWINDLER...!''' '''THAT'S''' it! I will never seen you again or you're fired!! [lividly] '''YOU'RE AN INHUMAN MONSTER!!!'''
:'''Emmy''': [screamed furiously] '''I SAID &quot;YOU ARE FIRED&quot;!! THAT'S IT, SID!!'''
:''[Meanwhile they hand the rest of the stuff to Zak and Wheezie.]''
:'''Zak''': Where are you gonna put that?
:''[Wheezie ultimately decides to put the stuff in their pouch.]''
:'''Zak''': Ew! That feels gross!
:''[All that was left was the tablecloth which they remove as Ord slams the door open.]''
:'''Ord''': [snaps] I’m very annoyed with you, Emmy! I'm king, and I wish I'd never been born!!
:''[Inside the gang snarl on the floor with a puzzle.]''
:'''Emmy''': [angrily scolds very pissed] You're bossy, King Ord! I'm very angry with you! This is your last warning! It's a complete disaster when enough is enough!! You did not just say that, '''You did not just say that!!!!'''
:'''Ord''':  [getting angry] '''I did just say it! I said, I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!!!'''  I'm bossy and annoyed without doing anything and I'm king, and you look annoyed all the time without some help, I've ruined their lives, and I wish I'd never been born! ''[dragon glares in the room.]'' You don't think I'm too bossy, do you?
:'''Zak''': '''LIAR!''' We decided not to have the picnic.
:'''Wheezie''': I'm afraid you are. Putting together a puzzle isn't fun anymore.
:'''Ord''': [mad] I don't want to play puzzles! I'm the bossy king! I'm the king of a moss-covered, three-handled family gredunza! Nobody's gonna leave this treehouse until I wish I'd never been born!!
:'''Emmy''':  [losing control of her outrage] Go away, King Ord! You lost a moss-covered, three-handled family gredunza if I'm saying bossy to you! If you're way too bossy what word I'm not supposed to say, It's too bossy, I'm disappointed. I am very disappointed....
:'''Ord''': [growling ragingly yells] '''I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEEEEEN BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN!!!!!'''
:'''Max''':  [angrily screams] '''NAH-UH! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE! I WILL YOU LEAVE ME ALONE AND QUIT IT!!!!!'''
:''[Emmy Slaps His Forehead. Zak Slaps His As Well, Wheezie Hits In His Face. This Challenge Erupted Into A Violence Argument Of Fury Angry Fight With Powers]'' K.D. Lang: [Overlapping while singing] Join Timon and Pumbaa cow! 
:'''Max''': I'm feeling very angry right now without help, King Ord!!!
:'''Ord''': '''SILENCE!!! YOU'D BETTER GET ALL OF THAT HURTFUL THING'S THROUGH YOUR RUDE HEAD!!!!!''' Forget it!! I said, &quot;I wish I'd never been born!!!&quot; I am the boss of the ruler to leave me alone!!!
:'''Max''': [sternly] That's it! See if I'll leave you alone!!
:''[Bossy King Ord storms to the school and incredibly pissed off at him for all of the hurtful birthday and inside he finds Quetzal wrapping a gift neatly.]''
:'''Ord''': You're just a show-off, Mr. Quetzal! Never, ever mention '''THAT''' name in my presence! '''I AM THE BOSSY *KING*!!!'''
:'''Quetzal''': Oh, Yes, Sire, you look bossy, King Ord. I was extraordinarily busy... You’re so cranky. You actually went and did it to illustrate the differences in your royal managerial approaches.
:'''Ord''': [coldly] Not the others seem to think they're waste time. ''[without notices the gift.]'' [angrily] I'm the boss. I scolded at her, Because she broke the rules! I'm king of the birthday parties!
:'''Quetzal''': Temper! Temper! Your Majesty, please... I don't like to complain, But A very good friend of mine, We didn't see any rules.
:''[Ord goes back to being angrily glare.]''
:'''Quetzal''': What’s the matter?  I know you're angry about your birthday without friends and you're refuse to be gone. What’s wrong? 
:'''Ord''': [raging furiously blows up, screams in frustration, angrily yells with sobbing] This is the stupidest time to me a favor and the &quot;worstest&quot; rule, I'm the king of the panic! I'm the frustrated king! I'm the bossy king because I'm the king of my birthday, and I'm the king of special day, but my friends must not like me anymore because they don't want to play with 37B of the contract signed by him, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void IF - and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy! And Cassie didn't invite me to her picnic, and then everyone's beginning to believe I'll never see my &quot;et cetera, et cetera... &quot;Fax mentis, incendium gloria cultum,&quot; et cetera, et cetera... &quot;Memo bis punitor delicatum!!&quot; It's out of the control without decided to make a puzzle instead of a picnic! I am the king! I can do whatever I  could even push one piece together, they '''STOMPED''' on the floor, which now has to be pushed me away, because I'm the king of my birthday! And I'm the king of a grouchy girl sometimes... I'm the bossy king, and think I'm king! they're gonna mess it up for my birthday and it's all your fault, and then before I will be able to our army,  would still be alive, it's your fault she's mad!! And now I don't have a happy birthday without looking hard enough to see some stupid royal birthday, and I wish I'd never been born!!! [walks off in a huff]
:'''Quetzal''': Oh..., Outrageous! I know you've already just feeling very angry, Ord, yelled by a grouchy girl, It's not your fault and we say something very special to each other.
:'''Ord''': [he ragefully stomps, firmly fuming] Why bother? I'm king of stupid to understand anyway! I hadn't shown up even dragons celebrate my birthday in the first place, maybe I don't have to worry everything that was important to me! There's nothing, no, NOTHING, that's grouchy than me, and I wish I'd never been born!! I said it again! I wish I'd never been B-O-R-N, born!
:'''Quetzal''': ''[checks his pocket watch]'' Chill out, Ord! Every year, I know what to do to make you feel better.
:'''Ord''': [sarcastically] Aw, forget it! I said it again! I wish I'd never been B-O-R-N, born! I wish I'd never been born! I said, &quot;I wish I'd never been born!!&quot; There, I said it again! '''I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!!'''
:'''Quetzal''': [calmly] I know you aren't. So, come with me.
:''[Ord and Quetzal go over to the treehouse where the others are watching by the window and all arguing, shouting, and they started kicking and laugh.]''
:'''Ord''': I'm the mad king, I'm the mad king! I'm the really, really, really mad king, Quetzal, I cannot let you put our family if they don't want to play with me! For I am the ruler of all that I see!!
:'''Quetzal''': Oh, I see if you are mad. Courage, Ord. Go up there and tell them what you told me.
:'''Ord''': Are you sure if I'm not mad?. 
:'''Quetzal''': Si.
:'''Ord''': Okay. I love too.
:''[Ord goes up the stairs and he takes one last look toward Quetzal who gives him a nod, before knocking on the door.]''
:'''Cassie''': I’m too busy right now, but we're almost done.
:'''Ord''': It's me, King Ord! And I'm too bossy and frustrated 'cause I'm ruler of my birthday but no one wants me around. And I don't want to be your friend anymore! I don't want to be your friend anymore at all!
:'''Cassie''': Hey, You're so bossy.
:'''Ord''': Yes, you did! You did!!! We're doomed who’s being such a bully!! It's your fault because you were going our separate ways forever. So, this is… This is your dumb the whole day with you doing all kinds of ridiculous straight to stomp to you when I'm bossy!!
:'''Cassie''': Okay, Don't be mad. Guess what? You can come in now. 
:'''Ord''': [anger turns to thrilled to apologizes about being difficult being frivolous things at the wrong time.] Really? I just wanted to apologize because sometimes I was me too bossy.
:'''Emmy''': Aww, that's okay, You can knock gently on the door but don't banging and pounding hard. Go ahead, Ord.
:'''Ord''': Oh, Sure.
:''[Ord throws the royal crown and the royal cape away, Knocking gently, opens the door and is surprised with excitement.]''
:'''All:''' '''SSUURRPPRIIISSSEE!!!''' ''[everyone claps and cheers, celebrates happily and laughing]'' '''HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ORD!'''
:'''Ord''': You like me! You really like me!
:''[Max runs up to Ord and hugs him]''
:'''Max''': Of course we do, Ord. You're our biggest, bestest friend of all.
:'''Emmy''': I’m so glad it’s you. I'm sorry I was just felt so mad when i yelled at you. It's just that... because I just didn't want you to find out and I'll try to not be bossy about the surprise party.
:'''Ord''': Wow. Well,  I was really surprised!
:''[Wheezie lights the candle with her fire breath]''
:'''Wheezie''': Come on, Ord. Make a wish and blow out the candle.
:'''Ord''': Okay, here we go! 
:''[Ord uses wind power to blow it out and everyone applauds]''
:'''Max''': All right, Hooray for you, Ord.
:''[All clapping and cheering]''
:'''Emmy''': Good one.
:''[Quetzal walks around with a knife in his hand and starts cutting the cake]''
:'''Ord''': ''[with his mouth full]'' Boy! This is the really best birthday I've ever marvelous me! For I am the good ruler of all that I see! [the dragons cheered and dance happily to the music.]
:'''Everyone''': '''ALL RIGHT, ZAK AND WHEEZIE! YEAH! ALL RIGHT, ORD!''' [laugh]
:'''Max''': That sounded really cool!
:'''Cassie''': I love played the maracas...
:'''Everyone''': '''YES!'''
:'''Emmy''': [laugh and celebrating] '''YEAH! WOO-HOO!'''
:'''Max and Emmy''': I Love A Surprise to use this rhyme to go back home until next time. ''[Both then disappear and appear back in the playroom]''
:'''Max''': Oooh! My tummy hurts from eating all that cake.
:'''Emmy''': Me too. But it sure is a yummy tummyache.
:'''Max''': ''[laughs]'' Yeah.
:'''Emmy''': Guess What, Max? We're Not able to Rush for Ord's Surprise Party. We're Good.
:'''Max''': Yeah, I will tell my mom. I want a surprise birthday party this year.
:'''Emmy''': I Love a Surprise! But if you know it’s a surprise party, it won’t be a surprise.
:''[Max thought about that and realized she’s right, cheering.]''
:'''Max''': Hooray for you, Emmy. Mummy! Emmy has something to ask you!
:''[Max heads out the door while Emmy just smiles her head, reliefing.]''

===''Tails You Lose'' [1.4a]===
:'''Wheezie''': OH! They're dragons Zak, not snails!
:'''Zak''': Slow music is better for the game!
:''[Zak and Wheezie argue over whether the dance must be fast or slow.]'' 
:'''Wheezie''': '''IS NOT!'''
:'''Zak''': '''IS TOO!'''
:'''Wheezie''': '''IS NOT!'''
:'''Zak''': '''IS TOO!'''
:'''Wheezie''': '''IS NOT!'''
:'''Zak''': [Growls Loudly And Then He Violently Begins To Shout At Her] '''I DON'T CARE!!!!! DAMN IT, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME IN PEACE????!!!!!!!!!!!''' 
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt; 
:'''Emmy''': I'm not engaged! And as a matter of fact, the way this particular conversation is going right now, well... I'm fine with out! You don't play fair! I will not stand for what you did, and things are out of control! As of this moment, cause you're all '''GROUNDED!! So you LEAVE ME ALONE!!!'''
:'''Cassie''': [angrily screams in frustration] You're bossy, you jerk! You couldn't wait to come back here and brag, you don't want to be part of the game around while you do dumb things like that!!
:'''Emmy''': '''I'D HATE YOU, RULES STINK, LOSING STINKS &amp; EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!'''
:'''Wheezie''': ''[turns red in anger, furiously growls and angrily comfronts Emmy]''  No! Are you crazy, Emmy?  [growls lividly] '''THAT MAKES ME VERY ANGRY,''' since we've finished everything on the list, you’re the one who’s being such a bully! I am the temper drama king! I already filled up this ate it... I have no time for childish bickering with ideas!! Now, I've ruined their lives, and '''I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!!!!!'''
:'''Emmy''': '''SHUT UP!!! I AM  NEVER, EVER  PLAYING FREEZE DANCE AGAIN!!! I AM COMMAND YOU TO CUT IT OUT!!! AND IF YOU KEEP BEING SUCH A JERK I SWEAR THE GOD....I'LL SMASH TO FIRE YOU!!!''' ''[echoes]''
:'''Cassie''': [Fed Up] '''DON'T YOU DARE!!! I'M NEVER GOING TO PLAY WITH YOU AGAIN! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME IN EXPLODE!!!!!?????!!!!!!!!!!!!'''
:'''Emmy''': ''[getting very angry; turns red angrily to cutting dragons off]'' '''CAN, YOU, CUT, A, BIG, FAT, STUPID, UGLY, CLUMSY, LUMP, IT, OUT, ALREADY!?!  I'D HATE YOU, MAX!!!''' 
:'''Max''': [Suddenly Snaps And He Launches Into An Rage Outburst] '''YOU KNOW WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!''' [With A lot Of Rage, Max's Behavior Got Worse] '''I'm losing a temper, so you become a loser!! We're doomed who’s being such a bully!! I'D HATE YOU &amp; EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!''' 
:'''Emmy''': ''[snaps]'' '''I’M VERY ANGRY!!'''
:'''Max''': '''YOU'D BETTER GET ALL OF THAT HURTFUL THING'S THROUGH YOUR RUDE HEAD!!!!'''
:'''Emmy''': '''I AM GOING TO FIRE YOU, MAX!!!'''
:'''Max''':  [angrily scolding] '''I’M NOT SPEAKING TO ME EVER AGAIN! AND I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!!!'''
:'''Emmy''': [growls angrily and screams lividly] '''I SAID, &quot;I AM GOING TO FIRE YOU, MAX!!!&quot;'''
:'''Max''': '''QUIET!!'''
:'''Emmy''': '''You just shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, and I'm fed up of telling dragons to go away!!'''
:'''Max''': '''OH NO YOU'RE NOT!'''
:'''Emmy''': '''IF YOU KEEP BEING SUCH A JERK I SWEAR THE GOD....I'LL SMASH YOUR...-''' 
:'''Ord''': [turns red with angriest and screams at Emmy] '''OH REALLY, EMMY, ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!'''
:'''Emmy''':  '''THAT FREEZE GAME IS STUPID ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!''' 
:'''Ord''': ''What in the world is going on if you yelled at him?! I've shouting at you and it’s your dumb the whole day with you doing all kinds of ridiculous things because you were supposed to stopped this instant!!! YOU ARE FIRED!!!''
:'''Wheezie''': [scowls] '''GRRRAAAARRGHHHHHH!!!!!! SSSSSTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPP IIIIIIITTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'''   
:'''Zak''': [angered as throws tantrum] '''STOP YELLING!!!!!'''  You, just a show-off, You did not finish this game!!! I’ve had quite enough is enough of your excuses whatever I warning about the new game, bossy girl!!! (And you might already did! In fact, I’m done with you without the next round!! I told you I'm '''NOT''' spending it with you and you're not listening, because, '''I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!!!!!''') 
:'''Emmy''': [lividly shouting of his rage and scolds at dragons] '''STOP IT!!! YOU'RE GONNA HURT YOURSELF!!! FREEZE DANCE IS COMPLETE AND TOTAL OUTRAGE ALWAYS FIGHT TO COMMAND IS, YOU, ARE, FIRED!!!!!!'''
:'''Max''': ''[Suddenly Snaps And He Launches Into An Rage Outburst In Anger, Furiously Growls And Angrily Strikes Out At Emmy, Gets Snapping And Loudly Ticked Off]'' ''' I'M ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!! I'D HATE YOU &amp; EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!! YOU MAKES ME VERY VERY ANGRY, YOU ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! '''
:'''Emmy''': [angry] '''SHUT THE FUCK UP!'''
:'''Max''': '''I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!!!!!''' 
:'''Emmy''': [lividly bellowing] '''STOP IT!!!!'''
:'''Max''': '''I'M ANGRY!! '''
:'''Emmy''': '''YOU ARE FIRED!!!'''
:'''Max''': '''I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!!!'''
:'''Emmy''': [thunders angrily] '''DON'T YOU DARE!!!'''
:'''Max''': [becoming louder angrily] '''I'M A BULLY TO COMMAND TO FIRE YOU!!!'''
:'''Emmy''': [gets angrier] '''YOU, ARE, FIRED AND THAT’S FINAL, I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BORN!!!!!!!!'''
:'''Max''': [enraged with high pitched, savagely yells loudly] '''I'M NOT GONNA SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN FOR AS LONG AS I FIRE YOU!!!!!!!''' ''[echoes]'' 
:'''Emmy''': [angry roars] '''STOP!!!''' 
:'''Max''': [gets angrier and furious bellow] '''ZIP IT!!!''' 
:'''Emmy''': [bellows angrily] '''SHUT UP!!!''' 
:'''Max''': [screaming very loudly; echoing] '''I'M REALLY ANGRY, I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BORN!!!!''' 
:'''Emmy''': '''I'LL SMASH YOUR A, BIG, FAT, STUPID, UGLY, CLUMSY, ANGRY!!!!!'''
:'''Max''': [yelling] '''I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!!! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME IN FIRED!?!?!?!?!''' 
:'''Emmy''': '''THAT'S IT!!! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE!!!''' 
:'''Max''': [throws a tantrum, warning yells] '''I SAID &quot;GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME IN FIRED&quot;!!!'''
:'''Emmy''': '''I AM ANGRY AND DISAPPOINTED, I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BORN!!!'''
:'''Max''': [Yells Back At Emmy] '''YOU'RE GROUNDED, EMMY!!!''' 
:'''Emmy''': [whines, turns red with angriest and enraged with high pitched, savagely screams] '''LIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRR!!! I AM NOT GONNA SPEAK ANY MORE!!! I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN!!!!!'''
:'''Max''': [furiously scolds] '''YOU ARE GROUNDED, YOUNG EMMY! GET OUUUUUUUUTTT!'''
:'''Emmy''':   [Becoming Very Angry] '''I’M ANGRY WHEN YOU YELLED AT ME!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! YOU'D BETTER GET ALL OF THAT HURTFUL THING'S THROUGH YOUR RUDE HEAD, I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BORN!!!''' 
:'''Max''': [gets angrier screams loudly then scowls] '''GRRR...I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'''
:'''Emmy''': [enraged with angriest screams, freaking out]  '''GRRR!!! I'LL SMASHING THE WHALE PUPPET WHEN I'M GOING HOME!!! IF YOU LEAVE DRAGONS ALONE, I WISH I HAD SUCH A JERK I SWEAR THE GOD....I'LL SMASH YOUR SERIOUS RIGHT NOW!!!''' ''[She throws a furious fist and incredibly pissed off at him for all of the hurtful things she frustratingly stomping the ground repeatedly with storms angrily get blown away; sees in a blind heated outbursts, raging argument, temper tantrum.]'' 
:'''Emmy''': ''[angrily satisfied, then sputters her head in irritating &quot;wrapping up&quot; threateningly makes Max and the dragons argue at each other leads them into a full blown fight in anger]''  I hate,  I hate, to fed up this rhyme just go home to bed, becuase it's mine! (echoes)
:''[Emmy storms off violently and exits Dragon Land without Max, very pissed]''
:'''Max''': [growls angrily] I'm Really Hate You, Em! I'm very angry with you, dragons!! This is your last warning! You're grounded for complete disaster when enough is enough, I've ruined their lives, and I wish I'd never been born! '''I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE AS LONG AS I LIVE, I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BORN!!!!!''' [the dragons scowls into silence as he storms off to the school and inside he finds Quetzal who felt shocked to Max]
:'''Quetzal''': Hoh-woah, That's the worst case about the unpleasant game. Huh, Max? 
:'''Max''': [Being serious by grunts in frustration with a huff] '''PHOOEY ON FIGHTING!!!'''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Back in the playroom, Emmy’s angrier starts her anger sulking in sadness and bursts into tears, sobbing like giving up and shakes her fist in rages out of series ideas, which get more tense by flinches lividly her whale puppet, violently stomps on the &quot;Mr. Whale&quot;.]'' 
:'''Emmy''': [angrily yells sobbing louder] I am braggy and bossy, Mr. Whale! You're mad at me! I'm disappointed to you!! ''[then as her whale puppet]'' &quot;'''NOT FAIR!! I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!!! IN FACT, A WORST, HORRIBLE AND TOTAL OUTRAGE GAMES, I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BORN!!!''' I'm all out of '''MONEY FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE, I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BORN, WHY DIDN'T YOU LISTEN, I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BORN!!!''' I'm ruined! I'm done! I'm lost everything of their lives, and I wish I'd never been born!! It will be ripped up, I said it again! I wish I'd never been B-O-R-N, born, Emmy!! You losing something and I wish I'd never been born again!!!&quot; ''[then as she shoves her whale puppet, she makes despair voice, firmly inhales]'' You did not just say that, you did not just say that, I don't like you! You're grounded for have upset on purpose…it was only an such clumsiness accident! [she hands a tissue to blowing her nose to calming down as normal voice] Really? I've had quite enough of this foolish fighting about lose at that. I’m really sorry. Why, It's not your fault. I'm very sorry for stomping on it, Mr. Whale. What a horrid dragon friends playing Freeze Dance. ''[then as her whale puppet, sniffs]'' &quot;I'm sorry I yelled at you. I know you, ord and zak are upset about what happened, and I know Ord and Zak was upset about Emmy's temper, but I think we can get a diffrent game. Listen. I'm sorry I ignored you when you've angry at the house. Take a deep breath and put it back together again in time.&quot; ''[then back to her normal voice]'' You really think so? ''[Mr. Whale agrees. she took a deep breath and sighs with tearfully to forgiveness smiled]'' I'm sorry I couldn't look like they're have fun. It's gonna be okay... you're gonna see more fun than me anyway… I'm very sorry to disturb you too much but I should go back, just to make sure Max is alright. (Emmy hands Mr. Whale a tissue and the puppet blows nose) Thank you for listening... because I just didn't want you to find out and I'll try to not be bossy, Mr. Whale. ''[Emmy finally calms down by comforting her puppet hug and takes out the dragon scale, smiley]'' OK, here we go. &quot;I wish, I wish, with all my heart ''to fly with dragons'' in a land apart.&quot; [This time, the dragons on the wall come to life and circle around her flying faster and faster until she arrive back to the DragonLand and start searching for Angry Max.]

===''Calling Dr. Zak'' [1.4b]===
:'''Emmy''': It's in here somewhere. Got it!
:'''Max''': And I got my guitar. ''[imitates guitar]''
:'''Emmy''': Stop fooling around, Max. We have to get to Dragon Land.
:'''Kids''': I wish, I wish with all my heart to fly with dragons in a land apart.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dr. Booboogone''': Now, Zak, squeeze!
:''[Zak shuts his eyes and squeezes Wheezie's hand as the thorn is removed]''
:'''Zak''': I'm squeezing as hard as I can! I'm still squeezing! When are you going to take the thorn out?
:'''Dr. Booboogone''': I already have, Zak.
:'''Zak''': ''[shocked]'' Huh?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kids''': I wish, I wish to use this rhyme to go back home until next time.
:'''Emmy''': I knew Zak and Wheezie were gonna win the dance contest.
:'''Max''': They were great.
:'''Mom''': ''Max! Emmy!''
:'''Emmy''': What is it, Mom?
:'''Mom''': ''I made a doctor's appointment for you both tomorrow. It's time for your checkups.''
:''[Despite a &quot;doctor's appointment&quot; announcement --made by their mother-- Max and Emmy do not mind.]'' 
:'''Max''': Let's play doctor, Emmy.
:'''Emmy''': Okay.

===''Pigment of Your Imagination'' [1.5a]===
:'''Max''': Dandelions.
:'''Emmy''': Max, no! ''[Emmy shook his head]''
:'''Ord''': Anything!
:[''couching, music playing'' and ''painting cans chatting'']
:''[Before going back to the playroom.]'' 
:'''Kids''': I wish, I wish, to use this rhyme, to go back home until next time.

===''Zak's Song'' [1.5b]===
:'''Wheezie''': But Do-Re-Mi's are wild birds, they like wild music, i'll show ya...!
:'''Zak''': ''[putting it in its place]'' No, Wheezie! This time i'm gonna try it my way. ''[he removes the beak of bird and keep going playing the melody in front of the Do-Re-Mi's]''
:'''Wheezie''': It's not working see, I knew...
:'''Max''': Look!

===''Snow Dragons'' [1.6a]===
:'''

===''The Fury is Out on This One'' [1.6b]===
:'''

===''The Giant of Nod'' [1.7a]===
:'''Wheezie''': I don't believe it, he didn't even yawn.

===''The Big Sleepover'' [1.7b]===
:''[Emmy goes over to Cassie's house and knocks on the door; Cassie comes out to bedroom window.]''
:'''Cassie''': Emmy! What are you doing here?
:'''Emmy''': What are you doing here? Aren't you coming to Zak and Wheezie's sleepover?
:'''Cassie''': Oh, I don't know. ''[Emmy climbs up to her window through the ivy of the facade and Cassie gasps]''
:'''Emmy''': Come on, Cassie. You'll have fun! Big time!
:'''Cassie''': I know. But I've never slept away from my mummy and daddy before! Ever! Not even one whole time!
:'''Emmy''': Well, what if you brought something to remind you of home?
:'''Cassie''': Like what?
:'''Emmy''': On my first sleepover, I brought Lupita. She's my favorite doll.
:'''Cassie''': Oh! Maybe I could bring... ''[leaves and comes back with a pile of books]'' Some of my favorite books! ''[catches the top book as it falls off]''
:'''Emmy''': How about just one?
:'''Cassie''': Oh, I could never pick just one. Wait, I've got another idea! ''[puts the books away and returns with a pile of pillows]'' How about my favorite pillows? ''[Emmy shakes her head]'' Still too much?
:'''Emmy''': Definitely!
:'''Cassie''': Oh. I know! ''[puts the pillows away and takes out a photo of her with her parents and two of her siblings]'' I'll take this picture of my mummy and daddy and all my brothers and sisters! ''[unfolds it to reveal more pictures that tile out the window down the wall]''
:'''Emmy''': All seventy-four of them? That'll work. Come on, you can do it!
:'''Cassie''': Okay, I'll try.
:'''Emmy''': Yes!
:''[Changes to the knuckerhole later that night; the sleepover is on! Laughter and cheering rings out from Zak and Wheezie's bedroom as Emmy, Max, Ord, and Cassie jump in the bed while Zak looks at his alarm clock and Wheezie play his drum.]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;90%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zak''': Now, can we '''PLEASE''' get ready for bed?!  ''[&quot;PLEASE&quot; is mistakenly heard as &quot;police&quot;]''
:'''Zak and Wheezie's dad''': Everything really funtastic and wild in there for you kiddos?
:'''Wheezie''': '''FUNTASTIC, DADDY! GOOF-BALL-O-RAMA!'''
:'''Zak and Wheezie's mom''': ''[as Cassie hesitates and takes out a photo of her family]'' Now if you need anything, dear, remember, we're right down the hall. Just a holler away. A few small steps.
:'''Zak''': Thanks, mummy.
:'''Emmy''': What's the matter, Cassie?
:'''Cassie''': I miss my daddy and mummy.
:'''Wheezie''': Why don't you call them?
:'''Cassie''': Can I?
:'''Wheezie''': Sure!
:''[Changes to a ceiling phone horn; Wheezie gets it down for Cassie to use.]''
:'''Wheezie''': Talk away!
:'''Cassie''': Hi, this is Cassie. Can you connect me to my mummy and daddy?
:'''Cassie's dad''': Hello? Cassie? Is that you?
:'''Cassie''': Hi, Father.
:'''Cassie's dad''': Are you having fun?
:'''Max''': ''[comes past still spinning]'' Wheeeeeeeee!!!
:'''Cassie''': Sort of. I just wondered if you and Mummy miss me. I mean, I could come home if you want.
:'''Cassie's dad''': Of course we miss you, honey, but why don't you try and stay a little longer and have fun with your friends?
:'''Cassie''': Okay, I'll try.
:'''Cassie's dad''': Bye, sweetie.
:'''Cassie''':: Bye, Father.
:''[The call ends and the phone retracts.]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;90%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ord makes shadow puppets]''
:'''Max''': Wow! That's cool! Let me try! ''[makes a simplistic shadow puppet]''
:'''Zak''': What is that?
:'''Max''': A rock.
:'''Zak and Wheezie's dad''': Okay, kiddos! Five minutes until beddy-bye time!
:'''Zak''': ''[excitedly]'' '''BEDDY-BYE TIME?! BEDDY-BYE TIME?! YES!'''
:'''Wheezie''': [dismayed] Oh, Zaky...

===''A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words'' [1.8a]===
:''[The Doodle Fairy has drawn a picture to communicate with them]''
:'''Max''': It's a hairy bug!
:''[The Doodle Fairy shakes her head]''
:'''Zak''': This is too hard! I'll quit.
:'''Ord''': We can't give up! Please!
:'''Zak''': OK, if you insist...

===''The Talent Pool'' [1.8b]===
:'''Cassie''': I know. I can't help it. 
:'''Emmy''': I have an idea, Cassie.
:'''Cassie''': Can I try? ''[giggles]'' I'm doing it.
:'''Emmy''': That's it.
:'''Max''': Way to go, Cassie!
:'''Ord''': ''Yay, Cassie!''
:'''Cassie''': ''[notices sound]'' Sorry, Zak. Here. I'll fix your boo-boo.
:'''Zak''': ''[sighs]'' Thanks for helping me fell better, Cassie.
:'''Cassie''': Yeah, but, I can't do anything special for the talent show.
:'''Ord''': Don't give up, Cassie.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Cassie''': I don't know what to do, Quetzal. I tried and tried, but, I ''can't'' think of anything special I can do.
:'''Quetzal''': Why don't we look in the Big Story Book?

===''Emmy's Dreamhouse'' [1.9a]===
:'''Zak''': Emmy, how do you like the steps Wheezie and I made?
:'''Wheezie''': We've even thought of a secret musical password. ''[plays &quot;Shave and a Haircut&quot; on the steps, with Zak's triangle making up the final two notes.]'' Love it!
:'''Emmy''': It's great. But red steps would go better with the rest of the treehouse, don't you think? ''[pours a can of red paint all over the stairs and some of it gets on Wheezie's foot]''
:'''Wheezie''': ''[angrylid]'' No! You said we could have...
:'''Zak''': Whatever we want and...
:'''Wheezie''': We want black and white!
:'''Emmy''': Oops. Sorry. I guess I forgot to ask again, didn't I?
:''[Zak and Wheezie are angry as Emmy enters the treehouse where everyone is setting up their things. Cassie is setting up her bookshelf.]''
:'''Cassie''': Let's see. Where should I put my picture book on flying? Right there. ''[the book flies into place]'' How do you like my new bookshelf, Emmy?
:'''Emmy''': It looks nice, Cassie. It would look better with these flowers on it. [takes out a flowerpot with flowers in it]
:'''Cassie''': But those are your flowers!
:'''Emmy''': Yeah.
:'''Cassie''': And they're too tall!
:'''Emmy''': I know. ''[takes all of Cassie's books off the shelf and lowers the middle shelf to the bottom. She then puts the books cover side down with two stacked up in the middle and puts the flowerpot on top of them.]''
:'''Emmy''': Perfect!
:'''Cassie''': But... my books! ''[starts laughing and grows]''
:'''Emmy''': Oh, Cassie, I'm sorry I made you feel mad! ''[Cassie runs off]'' I can't believe I forgot to ask what she wanted.
:'''Max''': Emmy, take a look through my telescope!
:''[Ord is getting his toy chest set up and Max has put his telescope near the window]''
:'''Max''': You can see the Stickleback Mountains.
:'''Ord''': And check out my... my... ''[grunts trying to close it but can't]'' ...toy drawer. Neat, huh?
:'''Emmy''': Yeah! And this is a great spot for our play rug.
:''[She unfolds the rug doing fall Max's telescope and covers the toy chest a bit at the corner]''
:'''Emmy''': We'll only have to move your stuff a little bit, okay?
:'''Ord''': I guess.
:''[Emmy pushes the toy chest off the rug into the wall and moves the telescope to the opposite side.]''
:'''Emmy''': That's better.
:'''Max''': No, it isn't! You didn’t leave room for my telescope!
:'''Ord''': And I can’t play with my toy drawer in the corner because there’s not enough room!
:'''Cassie''': ''[aggravated]'' And you made my bookshelf the way you wanted it!
:'''Wheezie''': And Zaky and I didn’t like how you repainted our steps!
:'''Zak''': Or our toenails! ''[Wheezie shows the paint on her foot]''
:'''Wheezie''': ''[wryly]'' Actually, I thought the toenails were kinda pretty.
:'''Max''': ''[carrying his telescope]'' You’re not being nice, Emmy!
:'''Wheezie''': Come on, everyone! Let’s go build our own treehouse!
:'''Zak''': The way we want it!
:''[Everyone less Emmy leaves very annoying]''
:'''Emmy''': ''[also angry]'' I was just trying to make the treehouse better, that's all!
:''[They all leave indignant with their stuff and Zak and Wheezie takes the staircase leaving Emmy in the treehouse]''
:'''Emmy''': Have it your way! I'll just build my own treehouse! ''[so she tries to build a ladder herself but it breaks]'' Oh, this is no fun. Isn't it?
:'''Sid Sycamore''': Hey, maybe a tree joke will cheer you up! Why did the tree cross the road? Give up? He had to &quot;leaf!&quot; Get it? Tree? Leaf? Ha ha! Wocka Wocka! [He laughs, and leaves fall out; Emmy does not answer.] So, friend troubles, huh?
:'''Emmy''': Yeah. They're mad. I didn't let them do what they wanted.
:'''Sid Sycamore''': Well, if you choose all the colors and decide where everything should go, what's left for your friends to do?
:'''Emmy''': They can, uh... Not much, I guess. Maybe I'd better help them put things back the way they wanted?
:'''Sid Sycamore''': Hey, now you're barkin' up the right tree! Wocka Wocka!
:''[Rumbling is heard and the purple goo clouds are coming closer]''
:'''Sid Sycamore''': Hey, you better hurry. The purple goo clouds are almost here!
:''[Emmy runs off and the others are at the other side of the forest carrying their things when she them catches up]''
:'''Emmy''': Wait up! ''[they stop, she sighs and asks for forgiveness, with the purpose of amendment]'' I guess I wasn't very good at listening and letting you do what you wanted. It's just that I get really excited about my own ideas. But it's no fun building a treehouse without my friends. Can we finish it together? Please?
:'''Ord''': Sure!
:'''Wheezie''': Of course!
:'''Max''': Let's do it!
:'''Emmy''': Come on, Cassie. We can fix your bookshelf just the way you wanted. And, Max, where do you want that telescope?
:''[Much later, the treehouse is being finished the way everyone wants it. Max and Ord roll out the rug and Emmy builds the roof. More rumbling as the purple goo clouds come closer and everyone notices.]''

===''Dragon Sails'' [1.9b]===

===''Eggs Over Easy'' [1.10a]===

===''A Liking to Biking'' [1.10b]===
:'''Emmy''': ''[singing]'' Rain, Rain, Go Away.
:'''Max''': Heh, and don't come back!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ord''': OH, NO! I'M GONNA FALL! '''AAH!'''
:'''Cassie''': Ord, you're a dragon; use your wings.
:'''Ord''': Oh, yeah! ''[flies safely back up the cliff]'' I forgot.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[last lines]''
:'''Emmy''': Look, Max, the rain stopped. We can go outside now.
:'''Max''': Yeah!
:'''Emmy''': Watch the door!
:'''Max''': ''[crashes and falls]'' I know, I know. Watch where I'm going.
:''[both giggle]''

===''Sky Pirates'' [1.11a]===

===''Four Little Pigs'' [1.11b]===
:'''Max''': I'm the pig in the straw house! [Max's puppet has a mustache.] ''[imitates pigs oinks]''
:'''Ord''': I'm the pig in the house of sticks. ''[imitates pigs oinks]''
:'''Cassie''': And I'm the smart pig! In the brick house! Oink, oink, oink!
:'''Emmy''': And now it's time for the most important puppet of all!
:'''Zak''': Yeah! The really big....
:'''Wheezie''': Really bad...
:'''Zak, Wheezie and Emmy''': Wolf! ''[imitates wolf's howls until they stop. Zak and Wheezie stare at Emmy. Zak is glaring and Wheezie is confused.]''
:'''Zak''': Huh?
:'''Wheezie''': Why'd you make a wolf?
:'''Emmy''': 'Cause I'm playing the wolf.
:''[Zak and Wheezie growl at Emmy's sock puppet and look at each other and back at Emmy]''
:'''Emmy''': What a cool wolf puppet! Oh, I'm sorry! I wouldn't have made my puppet... ''[takes her wolf puppet off her left hand and tosses it aside and grabs Zak and Wheezie's wolf puppets and puts them on both her hands]'' ...if I knew you were gonna make one for me. Thank you so much!
:''[Zak and Wheezie look at each other sad]''
:'''Zak''': Uh, you're welcome.
:''[Wheezie gets mad]''
:'''Wheezie''': No, she's not! We made it for us! ''[Wheezie takes back her and Zak's wolf puppets from Emmy and places them on both their hands]'' We want to play the wolf!
:'''Emmy''': But I thought you wanted to play the music.
:'''Zak''': We always have to play the music!
:'''Wheezie''': And this time we want to do something else!
:'''Max''': But you play music the best!
:'''Zak''': Well, we wanna be the wolf!
:'''Wheezie''': Yeah! No wolf...
:'''Both''': No, Zak and Wheezie.
:'''Cassie''': But if you play the wolf, who will play the music?
:''[Emmy hangs her head down]''
:'''Emmy''': I can't play the music by myself.
:'''Cassie''': Well, I don't think I can. ''[to Ord with her puppet]'' What about you?
:'''Ord''': Oh, no! ''[with his puppet]'' I'm a pig!
:'''Emmy''': ''[to Zak and Wheezie]'' You've got to play the music!
:'''Max''': You're the best!
:'''Ord''': Please!
:'''Cassie''': Will you?
:''[Zak gets mad]''
:'''Zak''': No! If we can't be the wolf....
:'''Wheezie''': We don't wanna play with you anymore. ''[both Zak and Wheezie nod their heads no, and walk out of the theater. Emmy tries to say something, but the words don't come out. Zak and Wheezie run away angrily. Cassie peeks out calling to them. Next, Emmy, Max and Ord peek out.]''
:'''Cassie''': Zak!
:'''Emmy''': Wheezie!
:'''Ord''': Wait!
:''[Zak and Wheezie jump into their hole. Cassie runs up to the hole. Emmy, Max and Ord follow suit. They peek down the hole. They are now all sad.]''
:'''Cassie''': [sighs] I guess we'll have to do the show without them.
:'''Ord''': But we need music, don't we?
:'''Emmy''': ''[smiling]'' I have an idea! Come on!
:''[The gang goes back to the stage. Zak and Wheezie poke their heads out of their hole and sees the gang walking away. Zak and Wheezie look at each other sadly.]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wolf''': I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Max''': I miss Zak and Wheezie...

===''Zak and the Beanstalk'' [1.12a]===

===''A Feat on Her Feet'' [1.12b]===
:'''Zak''': Slow down!
:''[screams]'' 
:'''Max''': It's Cassie.
:'''Ord''': Look out!
:''[all screaming]''
:'''Cassie''': Oh, no! ''[crashes]''
:'''Emmy''': Sorry, Cassie.
:'''Ord''': Are you okay?
:'''Cassie''': I'm fine. But, look, my poor flowers. Oh, you poor things. How I will ever get you to Singing Springs now?
:'''Emmy''': Why do you need to take the flowers to Singing Springs, Cassie?
:'''Cassie''': Because they're Jingle Flowers. I grow them from seeds. But, now, that they're grow up, I need to plant them at Singing Springs. Cause without the  foundation music water they'll lose the Jingle Flowers.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ord''': Nice skating, Cassie!
:'''Cassie''': Come on, let's get the jingle flowers plant now!

===''Not Separated at Birth'' [1.13a]===
:''[Zak and Wheezie are in an argument. And they convince themselves that they want to be separated from each other forever.]''
:'''Zak''': ''[to Wheezie]'' '''I WISH I WASN'T STUCK TOGETHER WITH YOU, WHEEZIE!'''
:'''Wheezie''': ''[shouts back --and to Zak]'' '''REALLY?! WELL, I DOUBLE WISH IT!'''
:'''Zak''': '''THEN I DOUBLE, DOUBLE WISH IT!''' 
:'''Quetzal''': My, my, niños. You two really wish to be separated from each other?
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': ''[in chorus]'' '''YES!'''
:'''Quetzal''': Then, so be it if you can. ''[he takes out a pair of pink crystals]'' Here. Take these crystals. ''[they take them]'' Now fly into the air and say: &quot;Alakazoo, split in two.&quot; Rub the crystals together and your wish will come true.
:'''Wheezie''': Come on, Zak! Let's get flapping!
:'''Zak''': ''[annoyed]'' Well, I'm not holding us up...
:''[They fly into the air, each holding a crystal]''
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': Alakazoo, split in two!
:''[They rub the crystals together and appears a blinding flash of light as Emmy and Max gasp. The flight floats down to them and it clears to reveal Zak and Wheezie now with their own separate bodies.]''
:'''Wheezie''': Loooooove it!
:'''Zak''': Two feet, two claws, and two wings? Too good to be true! Ha-ha-ha!
:'''Max''': Wow!
:'''Emmy''': I don't believe it!
:'''Ord''': Did it hurt?
:'''Zak''': No, it didn't.
:'''Cassie''': How does it feel?
:'''Wheezie''': Great! Now I can do anything I want! ''[does some somersaults]'' Whoo! See? Just me.
:'''Zak''': Well, look at this... ''[does a handstand]'' A handstand, all by myself!
:'''Wheezie''': ''[lands behind him]'' Watch me! ''[does some loops in the air and divebombs down]''
:'''Zak''': Careful, Wheezie!
:''[Wheezie does some more tricks in the sky but suddenly she crashes into a tree and everyone gasps. She falls out as Zak and Emmy run over.]''
:'''Emmy''': Are you okay?
:'''Wheezie''': Okay?! I'm better than okay!
:'''Zak''': Thank goodness. I'll never have to fly too fast again. ''[flies at his own slow pace]''
:'''Wheezie''': ''[yawns]'' Ho hum.
:''[Later Wheezie empties out the playground equipment]''
:'''Max''': How are we gonna make all that stuff into a slide?
:'''Wheezie''': It's easy. You got Wheezie. Let's go!
:'''Max''': Oh, no! I forgot my other tools!
:'''Ord''': Here, Max. ''[hands him tools from his pouch]'' You can use my wrench and my screwdriver, my pliers and my saw and...
:'''Max''': ''[falls down and laughs]'' Ord, enough!
:'''Wheezie''': ''[holding a plank and post]'' Now, which one goes where? ''[bumps the post against the plank]''
:'''Ord''': I don't think they fit, Wheezie.
:'''Wheezie''': [hammers the post into the plank, denting it] Ha! They do now.
:''[The slide is later fully constructed but poorly]''
:'''Wheezie''': Ta-da! Don't you just looooooooove it?!
:'''Ord''': Is it supposed to look like that?
:'''Wheezie''': Yeah! Wild and fun!
:'''Max''': What's that stuff for? ''[he points to the parts that were never used]''
:'''Wheezie''': Uh... they're just extras. Oh, don't worry. This is gonna be super-duper! ''[she leans against the slide and suddenly it falls apart]''
:'''Wheezie''': Uh-oh. Hm, maybe those weren't extras. Zak would've known how to put it together. Oh, Zaky?!
:''[Elsewhere, Zak is helping Emmy and Cassie with the drum trampoline. Wheezie walks up.]''
:'''Wheezie''': We had a teensy little problem. Could you please help us? ''[shows him the broken slide parts]''
:'''Zak''': Hmm... Huh? ''[takes out a blueprint of the slide]'' Wheezie, did you follow the directions?
:'''Wheezie''': Ah, who needs those boring things?
:'''Ord and Max''': We do!
:'''Wheezie''': Okay, okay! Following the directions is Zak's job, but I can do it too! Thanks for the help, Zak. ''[takes it from him]'' Let's see. Where's the thingamajig?
:''[Zak is working on the trampolines as Emmy and Cassie pull on the elastic bed]''
:'''Zak''': A little more... Not too tight... Not too loose...
:'''Cassie and Emmy''': '''ZAK!!!!'''
:'''Zak''': Sorry. Usually Wheezie tells me when we're done. ''[finishes tightening the bolts]'' There. Three perfect drum trampolines.
:'''Emmy''': Yes! Now I can show you my famous bottoms-up bounce! ''[she tries to bounce but falls on her back as it dents in]'' Whoa!!
:'''Cassie''': That's your big bounce?
:'''Emmy''': No way! Zak, the trampoline is saggy!
:'''Zak''': I know. This way we can jump nice and slow.
:'''Emmy''': Slow?! But we need bouncy! You can't do good flips and knee drops unless it's bouncy!
:'''Cassie''': Let me try. ''[she jumps and falls too]'' Whoa!! It's... it's...
:'''Both''': Boring...
:'''Zak''': I guess Wheezie would've known how to make it fun. Wheezie, can you come here?
:''[The others are working on the slide and Wheezie comes over]''
:'''Zak''': What's wrong with our trampolines?
:'''Wheezie''': ''[pulls on the still loose ropes]'' You just need to tighten the ropes an extra squeeze, so they'll be extra bouncy.
:''[Zak does just that; he tests the trampoline]''
:'''Zak''': Thanks, Wheezie. I knew you'd know what to do. That's bouncy, all right.
:'''Cassie''': Okay, Emmy, show us your big bounce!
:''[Emmy bounces and flips flawlessly]''
:'''Cassie''': Wow!
:'''Emmy''': Come on, you try!
:'''Cassie''': ''[bounces on it]'' Whee! He-he-he-he! ''[gets off]'' Hey, Emmy, is there anything else we can do on here besides jump?
:'''Emmy''': Well...
:'''Ord''': Hey, everybody! Step right up!
:'''Max''': The xylophone slide is now ready to go!
:''[It is perfectly constructed]''
:'''Wheezie''': Whoo-hoo! See you later, alligators! ''[she slides down cheering and lands hard on the ground]''
:'''Zak''': Wheezie, are you okay? Did you get a boo-boo? Are you bleeding?
:'''Wheezie''': It was fun! ...Except for the landing.
:'''Ord''': So now we have a great slide.
:'''Max''': With an icky landing. What are we going to do?
:''[Ord pulls out a sandwich]''
:'''Ord''': Have a snack?
:'''Zak''': ''[gets an idea]'' Why don't we put the slide and the trampoline...
:'''Wheezie''': Together?
:'''Zak''': Exactly!
:''[All they move the trampolines in front of the slide]''
:'''Wheezie''': Is this the right spot, Zaky?
:'''Zak''': A little over... Just right!
:'''Wheezie''': Let's try it.
:'''Zak''': You first, Wheezie.
:'''Wheezie''': ''[takes her place]'' Look out below!!!!!!! ''[she slides down and bounces across the trampolines coming in for a perfect landing]'' Looooooove it! Zaky, you're up!
:'''Zak''': All by myself? Only me? Nobody else? Will you come with me, Wheezie?
:'''Wheezie''': Sure.
:''[They sit at the top of the slide together]''
:'''Zak''': Ready, Freddy?
:'''Wheezie''': Okey-dokey, artichoke-y!
:''[They slide and bounce laughing and shouting happily]''
:'''Zak''': That was fun!
:''[The others cheer them happy]''
:'''Others''': Let's go!/I wanna try!/Me next!/Don't forget me!
:''[Quetzal comes back]''
:'''Quetzal''': Fantástico! You did a great job putting everything together. Is it fun?
:'''Wheezie''': It's fun-tastic! But I have an idea that will make it even better. ''[whispers into Zak's ear]''
:'''Zak''': Great idea, Wheezie.
:''[They both whisper to Quetzal]''
:'''Max''': What idea? I don't get it.
:'''Wheezie''': Quetzal, can we?
:'''Zak''': Pretty please, with a fireball on top?
:'''Emmy''': Tell me. I wanna know!
:'''Quetzal''': ''[gets out the crystals from before]'' I think it's a wonderful idea.
:'''Cassie''': What is?
:'''Quetzal''': ''[as Zak and Wheezie take the crystals]'' Fly into the air and say: &quot;Alakazoo, stick like glue.&quot; Then rub the crystals together.
:'''Zak''': Come on, Wheezie!
:''[Both they hold hands and fly up]''
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': Alakazoo, stick like glue!
:''[They rub the crystals; a blinding flash of light as it comes down and it clears revealing Zak and Wheezie have returned to their original two-headed self.]''
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': Ha-ha, yeah!/We did it!
:''[They high five and fly around happily]''
:'''Max''': Now I get it!
:'''Cassie''': They're our Zak and Wheezie again!
:'''Emmy''': Definitely!

===''A Kite for Quetzal'' [1.13b]===
:'''Max''': I guess we'll just have to go home now. Huh, Emmy?
:'''Emmy''': Guess so, Max.

===''Dragon Drop'' [1.14a]===

===''Cassie Loves a Parade'' [1.14b]===
:'''Cassie''': I really, really wanted to ride on that float. It's not fair. It's just not fair. Whoa! ''[Cassie hits the tree, spider web and the flower!]'' It's just hate today.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ord''': Uh, how are we gonna stop this thing?
:'''Emmy''': Easy. You can fly us out of here.
:'''Ord''': Oh, yeah.
:'''Zak''' and '''Wheezie''': Oh, yeah.
:'''Cassie''': Oh, yeah.
:'''Cassie''': Yeah. I was sad because I didn't get picked for the book float. ''[giggles]'' And I ended up having fun anyway.
:'''Emmy''': Let's go.
:'''Quetzal''': Have fun, niños.
:'''Kids''': I wish, I wish to use this rhyme to go back home until next time.
:'''Emmy''': Hey I never did get my chocolate milkshake.
:'''Mom''': ''Emmy? Max? Anyone for ice cream?''
:'''Emmy''': Coming, Mom.
:'''Max''': Hey, wait for me.

===''A Cool School'' [1.15a]===
:'''Ord''': Slam dunk... 
:'''Max''': For Air Ord-an!

===''Max's Comic Adventure'' [1.15b]===

===''It Happened One Nightmare'' [1.16a]===

===''Staying Within the Lines'' [1.16b]===
:''[The next scene shows Dragon Land not in color and it's all white and monochrome.]''
:'''Ord''': Max! Emmy! I'm so glad you got here.
:'''Max''': Hey, where's our hug, Ord?
:'''Ord''': Not now, Max. We got work to do.
:'''Quetzal''': Hola, niños!
:'''Emmy''': Hola, Quetzal!
:'''Max''': Hi!
:'''Quetzal''': We all have something very important to do. Look over there.
:'''Emmy''': What happen to all the color?
:'''Cassie''': It got washed away by a big rain storm.
:'''Ord''': Even our school.
:'''Quetzal''': Si, that's why I brought these. You all go to the Stickleback Mountains. I'll color in the School in the Sky, you can help color in the rest.
:'''Emmy''': But you can't color in a real mountain.
:'''Quetzal''': In Dragon Land, you can!
:'''Max''': I love to color. This is gonna be fun!
:'''Ord''': Come on, everyone! Let's go!
:'''Quetzal''': But be careful, niños! There's a giant sleeping in the Stickleback Mountains and if he's awaken, he can be quite grumpy!
:'''Max''': Wow! It looks like a giant coloring book!
:'''Emmy''': Yeah! Before it's been colored!
:''[Ord and Cassie landed, Max and Emmy got off of their backs. They see the Knuckerhole, hear Zak and Wheezie's voice and see them pop out of the Knuckerhole in the air.]''
:'''Emmy''': Zak! Wheezie!
:''[Zak and Wheezie land on the ground]''
:'''Wheezie''': We came as soon as we got Quetzal's message!
:'''Zak''': Wh-what's wrong?
:'''Max''': There's no color.
:'''Wheezie''': No color? Haaatte it! it looks so...
:'''Zak''': Neat and clean? '''LOOOOVE IT!''' ''[laugh]'' Why messing it up by coloring it?
:'''The Gang''': ''[annoying]'' '''ZAK!!!'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;85%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zak''': That leaves a knucker hole for you and me, Wheezie...
:'''Wheezie''': ''[filling the brush with paint of various colors]'' Oooooooh, I just love coloring, it's so... so... colorful! 
:''[They go to the knucker hole with a paintbrush and Wheezie paints it with all the colors of the rainbow]''
:'''Zak''': ''[scolding her]'' Wheezie... Knucker holes are supposed to be brown.
:'''Wheezie''': Uh-uh... They're prettier in rainbow... 
:''[Zak won't let him paint the knucker hole that color and Wheezie throws the paintbrush with paint in his snout, much to his disgust.]''
:'''Wheezie''': ''[laugh]'' You look prettier in rainbow too, Zaky.

===''Follow the Dots'' [1.17a] ===

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Emmy''': Like Mexican chili pepper. I know. I'll count them in Spanish. ''Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, seis.'' That's 6.

:'''Max''': Look, Ord. Dandelions!
:'''Ord''': One, two... three, four, five, six... ( ''groaning '' ) seven. ( ''sneezes'' )
:'''Max''': Bless you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Max''': I found another dot!
:'''Ord''': I don't see anything we can count.
:'''Max''': I do. ''Stinky-dink bugs!'' ( ''muffled'' ) You write the number this time, because I gotta hold my nose.
:'''Ord''': ( ''muffled'' ) Okay, Max.
:'''Max''': One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. Phew!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kids''': I wish, I wish with all my heart to go back home until next time.
:'''Emmy''': Let's do some more connect the dots, Max.
:'''Max''': Here's one.
:'''Emmy''': I wonder what it's a picture of.
:'''Max''': Maybe, a race car, or a dinosaur. Or a...
:'''Max and Emmy''': ''Norm The Number Gnome!''
( ''music song ends'' )

===''A Smashing Success'' [1.17b]===

:''[After Wheezie blamed Cassie and said it was Cassie who broke her trumpet and after Emmy's lie got her --Cassie-- and Zak in trouble.]''
:'''Cassie''': ''[crying --and to Emmy]'' '''THANKS A LOT, EMMY!''' 
:''[Cassie cries. That is, after Emmy's lie got her --Cassie-- in trouble when Wheezie pinned the blame on her. Then, Cassie says...!]'' 
:'''Cassie''': ''[in between tears]'' '''NOW WHEEZIE IS NOT SPEAKING TO ME EVER AGAIN, AND I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING!'''
:''[Cassie says that thanks to Emmy, Wheezie is not going to speak to her again. And she didn't do anything. After Cassie accuses Emmy --for making Wheezie blame her-- she resumes crying. When Emmy --so she would not get in trouble with Wheezie for breaking her trumpet-- did not tell Wheezie, who had blamed both Zak and Cassie. So Emmy knew her lie had gotten both Zak and Cassie in such trouble.]''
:'''Max''': We have to tell Quetzal.
:'''Emmy''': Max? Wait!
''[Meanwhile, Quetzal was hanging some of the lights up on the shack, when Emmy and Max came up to tell him the situation.]''
:'''Max''': ''[panting]'' Emmy's in BIG trouble, because she wouldn't tell.
:'''Quetzal''': Wouldn't tell what, Em?
:'''Emmy''': Uh, a story. I mean, I needed to ask you a question, Quetzal, and I, uh... I have to tell you a story to do it.
:'''Quetzal''': I see. I think.
:'''Emmy''': Well! Uh... There's this little mouse with ribbon in her hair.
:'''Quetzal''': ''Sí.''
:'''Emmy''': And she accidentally broke something that belonged to a two-headed turtle.
:'''Quetzal''': ''Sí,'' go on.
:'''Emmy''': And, well, the Little Mouse didn't know how to tell the Two-Headed Turtle what she did. What should she have done, Quetzal?
:'''Quetzal''': Well! If ''I'' were that Little Mouse with a red ribbon on my hair, I would have stood up straight, taken a deep breath, and told ''Wheezie'' that I broke her trumpet.
:'''Emmy''': Huh? How did you know?!
:'''Max''': I didn't tell him.
:'''Quetzal''': It's not important how I knew. What is important is what you are going to do about it.
:'''Emmy''': I guess if a friend broke something of mine, I'd want them to tell me.
:'''Ord''': Tell you what? ''[He and the others come by.]''
:'''Max''': That she broke it.
:'''Cassie''': Who broke it?
:'''Max''': The Little Mouse.
:'''Zak''': Broke what?
:'''Emmy''': Your trumpet.
:'''Wheezie''': A little mouse broke my trumpet?
:'''Max''': ''[chuckles]''
:'''Emmy''': OK, I'm just going to do it. ''[draws deep breath]'' I broke your trumpet, Wheezie! I thought you'd be mad at me so I hid it. Then, I tried to fix it, but that only made it worse, so I asked Cassie to tell you, and, well, that didn't help either.
:'''Wheezie''': You should've just told me, Emmy, and then I wouldn't have made Zak or Cassie feel bad. ''[to Zak and Cassie]'' Sorry.
:'''Zak and Cassie''': That's OK, Wheezie.
:'''Emmy''': I know I should say I'm sorry. I bet no one wants to be ''my'' friend any more...
:'''Cassie''': Of course we do.
:'''Emmy''': You do?! ''[Cassie nodded]'' ''[to Wheezie]'' How about you, Wheezie?
:'''Wheezie''': I'm pretty glad you told me, Emmy. Of course we're still friends. ''[She and Emmy hug each other.]''
:'''Ord''': We'll just have to play our song another time.
:'''Quetzal''': Maybe not, Ord. ''[He sprinkled some of his magic on the trumpet, which gets fixed.]''
:'''Wheezie''': My trumpet! You've fixed it, for real!
:'''Emmy''': Thank you, Quetzal.
:'''Cassie''': You're the greatest!
:'''Zak''': It's almost show time.
:'''Ord''': Come on!
-----
:'''Max''': Uh, Emmy, I have something to tell you.
:'''Emmy''': What's wrong now?
:'''Max''': I think I broke your dolly.
:'''Emmy''': Oh, that old thing? It's always falling apart.
:'''Max''': You mean, it's already broken, and you're not mad at me?
:'''Emmy''': Definitely not.
:'''Max''': Good, because... Remember your tea set?
:'''Emmy''': Max?! ''[giggles]''

===''Quibbling Siblings'' [1.18a]===

*'''Zak''': '''NO SLEEP, NO BREAKFAST, NO NOTHING! AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF, I CANNOT FIND MY MAGNIFYING GLASS!'''
*''[By that saying of Zak, Zak is not going to speak to Wheezie ever again once he gets back his sleep, breakfast, and magnifying glass.]'' 
&lt;hr width=&quot;70%&quot;/&gt;
*'''Wheezie''': I wonder why Zakie is so mad at me.
*'''Emmy''': Well, you made him angry.
*'''Wheezie''': ''[in disbelief]'' '''ARE YOU KIDDING?!''' Name one thing that I could possibly do to make him mad.
*'''Max''': ''[for first reason]'' You kept him up all night with your banging. 
*'''Wheezie''': All right! Name two things that I could have done. 
*'''Emmy''': ''[for second reason]'' You ruined his breakfast.
*'''Max''': ''[also for second reason]'' And you took his magnifying glass. 
*'''Wheezie''': You think that is why Zak is so made at me? 
*''[Zak takes off his alone cone.]''
*'''Zak''': ''[in a sing-songy voice]'' '''♪ I CAN'T HEAR YOU!♪ '''
*''[He gets angry.]'' 
*'''Zak''': '''BUT YES!'''
*''[He puts the cone back on his head and resumes hiding in it.]''

===''Wheezie's Hairball'' [1.18b]===

===''A Tall Tale'' [1.19a]===

===''Stormy Weather'' [1.19b]===
:'''Max''': Super Max Isn't Afraid Of You Know What?
:'''Emmy''': Definitley!

===''Blowin' in the Wind'' [1.20a]===

===''No Hitter'' [1.20b]===
:&quot;'Max&quot;': I Didn't Mean to make Emmy Sick.

===''Do Not Pass Gnome'' [1.21a]===

===''Treasure Hunt'' [1.21b]===

===''The Jumping Bean Express'' [1.22a]===

===''Get Offa My Cloud'' [1.22b]===

===''Backwards to Forwards'' [1.23a]===

===''Sounds Like Trouble'' [1.23b]===

===''The Greatest Show in Dragon Land'' [1.24a]===

===''Prepare According to Instructions'' [1.24b]===

===''Wheezie's Last Laugh'' [1.25a]===
:'''Zak''': ''[to Mr. Pop]'' Mr. Pop? I have a great sound for you! 
:''[Zak takes away Mr. Pop's laugh.]''
:'''Mr. Pop''': Really? A very funny one? 
:''[After Zak and Wheezie stole Mr. Pop's laugh, they replace it with a donkey sound. The donkey sound --which Mr. Pop had stole-- must have came from a donkey. And he --Mr. Pop-- had replaced the donkey bray on the donkey with a different animal sound.]''
:'''Mr. Pop''': ''[Insert donkey brays here]''! '''MY LAUGH!''' ''[Insert donkey brays here]''!
:'''Wheezie''': Now you know how it feels to lose your favorite ''[imitates laugh]''!
:''[The incident makes Mr. Pop feel how Wheezie felt when he took away her laugh. First, he switched the sounds of all the farm animals. He made the cow sound like a frog, the rooster sound like a cow, and the frog sound like a rooster. And now, he took away Wheezie's laugh too. In the meantime, Mr. Pop says...!]'' 
:'''Mr. Pop''': ''[in between donkey brays]'' I sure do! And it feels awful!
:''[After Mr. Pop says this, he resumes donkey brays.]''
:'''Zak''': ''[to Mr. Pop]'' I will give you your laugh back, if you give my sister her laugh back. 
:'''Mr. Pop''': ''[in between donkey brays]'' Okay. You win.

===''Frog Prints'' [1.25b]===

===''Crash Landings'' [1.26a]===

===''The Big Cake Mix-up'' [1.26b]===
:'''Zak''': Wait! Something’s not right. ''[looks over the stuff on the table]'' Hmmm, I know. The bowl is going to be too small, and everything’s gonna spill and make a big mess!
:'''Cassie''': Maybe there’s a bigger bowl in the cupboard.
:'''Zak''': Good idea.
&lt;hr width=&quot;82%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wheezie''': Perfect! It's time to bake it!
:'''Zak''': Oh, no! We can't!
:'''Max''': Why not?
:'''Zak''': 'Cause we're not allowed to use the oven without Mom... ''[&quot;Mom&quot; is mistakenly heard as &quot;Bob&quot;]''
:'''Wheezie''': I can fix that... '''Mom???''
&lt;hr width=&quot;82%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mom''': ''Max, Emmy!''
:'''Emmy''': Uh-oh.
:'''Max''': What?
:'''Emmy''': I think. There's something we didn't plan too well.
:'''Max''': What?
:'''Mom''': ''Dinnertime!''
:'''Both''': Aw...

===''Quetzal's Magic Pop-Up Book'' [1.27a]===

===''My Way or Snow Way'' [1.27b]===

===''Sand Castle Hassle'' [1.28a]===
:'''Zak''': They're coming!
:'''Ord''': The turtle dragons?
:'''Zak''': No, the waves!

===''True Blue Friend'' [1.28b]===
:'''Max''': Then, follow me to Dragon Land.

===''Zak Takes a Dive'' [1.29a]===
:'''Quetzal''': Ord Por favor leave some water for the lake for the others 
:''[Ord Smiles]'' 
:'''Max''' Come on let's make a big splash like Ord!
:'''Quetzal:''': Don't forget to put on your dragon wings
:'''Max:''': Dragon wings Cool

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[They try to swim but use the wrong arm strokes]''
:'''Wheezie''': Was that better?
:'''Zak''': No! We didn't go anywhere.

===''Under the Weather'' [1.29b]===

===''My Emmy or Bust'' [1.30a]===
:''[Max hears Emmy close the door.]'' 
:'''Max''': Oh, no! Huh? 
:''[Emmy goes into the car --to go shopping at the grocery store with their dad-- unaware of the dragons calling.]''
:'''Max''': '''EMMY...!? YOU GOT TO COME BACK!''' ''[echoes]'' Where did you go?
:''[The car drives away. Mom --Emmy and Max's mother-- comes out of her bedroom. And she asks Max...!]'' 
:'''Mom''': ''[from in the hall --and offscreen]'' Max? Did you call me?
:''[But their mom is unaware that Emmy was going grocery shopping with their dad. And Max was left behind --that is, to go to Dragon Land without Emmy. What is more, Emmy --on the other hand-- is going shopping with their dad. That is, even though she was supposed to go to Dragon Land with Max.]'' 
:'''Max''': ''[calls back]'' No, Mom! 
:''[Mom --Max and Emmy's mother-- leaves, blissfully unaware. Max turns back to himself. And he says...!]'' 
:'''Max''':  The dragons are calling! I just don't want to go without Emmy.  But you have no idea... '''WHAT IF THEY NEED ME!?''' 
:''[Max takes out the dragon scale. And he says the rhyme.]''
:'''Max''': ''[with the dragon scale]'' ''I wish, I wish,'' 
:''with all my heart,'' 
:''To fly with dragons in a land apart.''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[At the end.]''
:'''Emmy''': ''[as she gets back home from the supermarket with their dad]'' You should have come, Max! Dad gave me a quarter so I could ride on the big blue dinosaur which was in front of the store. 
:'''Max''': That is nothing. Because I went to Dragon Land by myself. ''[he tells Emmy about his adventure without her]'' I was captain of a submarine. And I was searching for a missing sea dragon. 
:'''Emmy''': Oh, Max! Am I glad to see you!
:''[Emmy talks to Max about the dinosaur at the supermarket. Their dad had given Emmy a quarter and Emmy she got to ride the dinosaur in front of the supermarket.]'' 
:'''Emmy''': Just because I got to ride the dinosaur (at the supermarket), you do not need to make up a story.

===''Light My Firebreath'' [1.30b]===
:'''Emmy''': Ready.
:'''Max''': Here goes.
:''[bubbling]'' 
:'''Emmy''': Let me try. ''[blows]'' 
:'''Max''': Blow harder.
:'''Emmy''': Ew. ''[laughs]'' Okay, enough volcanoes. Let's go to Dragon Land.
:'''Max''': Good idea.
:'''Kids''': I wish, I wish, with all my heart, to fly with dragons in a land apart.

===''Follow the Leader'' [1.31a]===

===''Max and the Magic Carpet'' [1.31b]===

===''Rope Trick'' [1.32a]===

===''Baby Troubles'' [1.32b]===

===''Small Time'' [1.33a]===
:'''Ord''': That's weird. You wouldn't think they'd only send her backpack. ''[holds up Emmy's backpack]''
:'''Zak''': Huh? How come Emmy's backpack is here?
:'''Wheezie''': And Emmy isn't?
:'''Cassie''': Where'd you find that, Ord?
:'''Ord''': Right beside these flowers.
:'''Cassie''': Careful, Ord, those are shrinking violets. When they bloom, they shrink anything they touch!
:'''Ord''': ''[pulling his finger away]'' Oh!
:'''Wheezie''': Hey, what's this? ''[picks up the shrunken kickball]'' I found a marble that looks like a dragon ball.
:'''Cassie''': Say, that looks just like Emmy's kickball. It must've shrunk. ''[gasps]'' What if Max and Emmy touched the Shrinking Violets?
:'''Zak''': Well, then they'd shrink down to teeny, tiny... Oh, No! They shrunk!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Max''': Monster caterpoozle! 
:'''Emmy''': It's just a regular caterpoozle.
:'''Max''': We're tiny!

===''Roller Coaster Dragon'' [1.33b]===
:'''Wheezie''': I want to ride the roller coaster dragon so bad I can taste it!
:'''Ord''': Really? What does it taste like?
:'''Cassie''': Ha ha ha! It's just an expression, Ord!
:'''Ord''': Oh. What's an expression taste like?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wheezie''': Hurry up! We have to get our snacks and get back in line before the roller coaster comes back! 
:'''Server Dragon''': Do I look an octopus, kid? I only have six arms!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mom''': ''Max! Emmy! I'm going to the store to get dinner and ice cream. Be back in 15 minutes!''
:'''Kids''': Ice cream!?!
:'''Max''': Only 15 minutes? I can wait that long, easy!
:'''Emmy''': Me, too. Let's draw.
:''[They sit down and draw pictures]''
:'''Max''': I drew a circle. Your turn.
:'''Emmy''': ''There's a triangle.''
:''[Suddenly they realize what they drew]''
:'''Max''': Oh, no! It looks like an ice cream cone!
:'''Kids''': MOM!
:''[They realize they have to wait as the view goes black]''

===''Up, Up and Away'' [1.34a]===
:'''All''': Good. Whoa! ''[all screaming]'' 

===''Wild Time'' [1.34b]===

===''Bad Share Day'' [1.35a]===
:''[Emmy finds a keyboard in the playroom and starts playing a song on it. She sings [[w:Three Blind Mice|Three Blind Mice]]. That is, as she sings...!]'' 
:'''Emmy''': ''[singing while playing her toy keyboard]'' ''Three blind mice, three blind mice,'' 
:''See how they run, see how they run.''
:'''Max''': ''[giggles]'' That's funny! 
:''[Next Emmy tries another song. It is called [[w:Baa Baa Black Sheep|Baa Baa Black Sheep]]. That is, as she sings...!]'' 
:'''Emmy''': ''[singing while playing her toy keyboard again]'' ''Baa, baa, black sheep,'' 
:''Have you any wool?''
:''[Max wants to play the keyboard too. So he says...!]''
:'''Max''': Let me try.
:''[Emmy refuses to let Max have a turn. And she says...!]'' 
:'''Emmy''': ''[angrily]'' '''NAH-UH! I AM PLAYING WITH IT! (I HAD IT FIRST!)'''
:''[Max tries to tell their mom. That is, about Emmy not sharing the keyboard. So he says...!]''
:'''Max''': ''[to Mom]'' '''MOM?! EMMY IS NOT SHARING THE KEYBOARD (AGAIN)!'''
:'''Mom''': ''[from outside the playroom --and to Max]'' ''Try to find something else until it's your turn, Max.''
:''[Max --who quickly buries the hatchet-- completely forgets about the keyboard and then, regards to Dragon Land.]''
:'''Max''': Maybe Ord has something cool to share with me. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Cassie''': If I don't take my crayon back now, it'll be too late! 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Emmy''': You can use it.
:'''Max''': I didn't want to use, Emmy. I only wait it to share it. Can't we play it together?

===''Whole Lotta Maracas Goin' On'' [1.35b]===
:'''Emmy''': ''Wake up, sleepyhead.''
:'''Max''': ''[yawns]'' I'm tired.

===''Ord Sees the Light'' [1.36a]===

===''The Ugly Dragling'' [1.36b]===

===''Out with the Garbage'' [1.37a]===

===''Lights, Camera, Dragons'' [1.37b]===
:'''Wheezie''': '''LOOOOOOOVE IT!''' What's that?
:'''Emmy''': It's my dad's video camera. I'm taping you right now!
:'''Wheezie''': Ooh! I just love being in videos, they're so... ''[makes faces at the camera and laughs]''
:'''Zak''': ''[scolding hers]'' Wheezie! We you're making us look silly! ''[approaching the camera]'' '''HI, MOM! HI DAD! IT'S ME, ZAK!'''  ''[&quot;Mom&quot; is mistakenly heard as &quot;Bob&quot;]''
:''[When suddenly Ord appears worried covering Zak and Wheezie and looking for Cheddar, his mouse]''
:'''Ord''': Hey! Did you two see Cheddar?
:'''Zak''': ''[pushing it]'' Who cares about cheese, Ord? You're interrumpting my scene! ''[he and Wheezie make funny faces at the camera]''
:'''Ord''': I'm not talking about cheese... I'm looking from my dragon mouse, Cheddar. He ran into that knucker hole.
:'''Wheezie''': So that's who scared Zak.
:'''Zak''': He zipped right under out feet! Nearly tripped me.
&lt;hr width=&quot;70%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ord''': Cheddar!
:'''Quetzal''': ''No...'' It's tuna fish.
:'''Wheezie''': ''[laugh]'' No, no, no, Cheddar's the name of the mouse!
:'''Zak''': He's Ord pet, but he run away.
:''[Cheddar runs away with Quetzal's sandwich and Emmy records the scene]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;70%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Quetzal''': ''Jamón''.
:'''Max''': Ham!
:'''Quetzal''': ''Tomate''.
:'''Max''': Tomato!
:'''Quetzal''': ''Mostaza''.
:'''Max''': Mustard! ''[laughs]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;70%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Max''': More cheese!
:'''Ord''': I like olives!
:'''Zak''': No ''jalapeños'', please.
&lt;hr width=&quot;70%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Max''': ''[while Emmy is recording]'' I'm captain submarine of the sandwich patrol, and you're toast! ''[showing Cheddar]''
:''[Quetzal, Ord, Cassie, Zak and Wheezie gasp surprised and then Emmy and Max laugh.]''

===''Bully for You'' [1.38a]===

===''The Great White Cloud Whale'' [1.38b]===
:'''Captain Scallywag: Arrgh! Ooh, we've lost him. Ohh, I'll never see me ship again...
:'''Emmy''': Don't give up, Captain Scallywag.
:'''Cassie''': Yeah! Maybe we can help you think of another way to catch the Cloud Whale.
:'''Wheezie''': Oh!... oh!... oh!... I bet he'd come if he heard a nice whale song...
:'''Zak''': We don't know any whale songs. Do we?
:'''Wheezie''': Sure we do! ♪ Oh, where, oh, where has my big cloud whale gone?... ♪
:'''Zak''': ''[scolding hers]'' That's a dog song!
:'''Wheezie''': Not anymore... ♪ Oh, where, oh, where can he be? With his ears cut short... ♪
:'''Zak''': ''[scolding hers]''  Whales don't have any ears!
:'''Wheezie''': ♪ And his tail cut long, oh, please, come back to Wheezie. ♪ ''[she laughs while Zak gets angry]''
:'''Max''': Nice song! Too bad it didn't work...

===''To Do or Not to Do'' [1.39a]===
:'''Zak''': Please don't tell me we're really in the stomach of a giant Dragonocerous! 
:'''Glimmer''': Honey, you're really in the stomach of a giant Dragonocerous.
:'''Zak''': I told you not to tell me that!

===''Much Ado About Nodlings'' [1.39b]===

:''[In the grass, the little Nodlings are all arguing, shouting, fighting and yelling furiously in fury and they started kicking and punching over the broken wagon.]''
:'''Max''': Have you ever had a fight what are they saying?
:'''Wheezie''': They are have all argued!
:''[It is true --true to what Wheezie says. The nodlings are really furious fist, This Challenge Erupted Into A Violence Argument Of Fury, Angry, Mad.]'' 
:'''Zak''': Because you’ve never seen a fight this broken wagon! 
:'''Cassie''': And now they don’t have anything to carry their mush trees in!
:'''Max''': What’s a mush tree?
:'''Ord''': It’s like a war mushroom! Only it’s a war tree. Well, THAT'S a war dragons like us, but to the little Nodlings, these are really huge. And they cut them down, eat their fruit, and chop them up into firewood to keep themselves warm in the winter. But without their wagon, the Nodlings start arguing very angry without anything to carry their mush trees home. And then they would be cold and even worse, heartbreaking! 
:'''The Giant of Nod''': [Offscreen, Growls Loudly And Then He Violently Fires A Gun To stop an argument, outraged evilly] '''SILENCE!!!!!!!!'''
:'''Ord''': ''[frightened]'' It’s the Giant of Nod! 
:''[The Giant of Nod --furiously-- makes his way through the grass right up to the dragons. He eventually makes it to the pathway. And --almost that quickly-- he furiously storms to the entrance to the nodlings's house where he and the little nodlings stop from fighting.]''
:'''Wheezie''': Huh, I still can’t believe that giant was being so mean, nasty, rude and bossy!
:''[Wheezie growls angrily, realizing too late he's been exposed.]'' 
:'''Zak''': [sternly] You don't scare me. You deliberately disobeyed!
:''[The Giant of Nod -- Suddenly Snaps And He Launches Out A Megaphone Very Angry.]'' 
:'''The Giant of Nod''': ''[Thunders Angrily From Echoes In His Speaker Into An Rage Outburst To the Little Nodling Military] '''YOU WILL GONNA BE THE NODLING SOLDIERS, I AM THE GIGANTIC BOSSY KING SERGEANT, YOUR HEIRS!!!!!'''
:''[The little nodlings salutes their leader --the Giant of Nod-- the wagon that Max broke. The Giant of Nod turns to the little nodlings. And when they --the little nodlings-- snarl and snap at the Giant of Nod what about happened to their wagon --and about a child boy breaking it-- they are very angry. That is, and so is the Giant of Nod. After the nodlings --angrily-- tell their leader the Giant of Nod, the Giant of Nod commands, with orders to march towards this. He --the Giant of Nod-- gets marching orders the little nodlings said to him. And he shakes his fist in rages out of series bossiness to Max, Emmy, and the dragon group, then he angrily screams into his megaphone which get more tense by flinches lividly the old wagon.]''
:'''The Giant of Nod''': ''[losing control of his rage and yelling from echoes in his speaker, violently stomps on the broken wagon]'' '''YOU WILL JUST GO AWAY AND LEAVE ALL OF THAT HURTFUL THING'S THROUGH YOUR RUDE HEIRS IN FIRED!!!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!?!'''
:'''All''': [in unison, furious loudly] '''SIR, YES, SIR, KING SERGEANT!!!!''' ''[The Giant of Nod --when he angrily screams &quot;'''DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!?!'''&quot;-- he commands an barking order. After commanding an barking order, everyone --Emmy, Ord, Cassie, and Zak and Wheezie-- in response to him --the Giant of Nod-- look at Max. And they angrily arguing, shouting, fighting and yelling furiously and they started kicking and punching each other.]'' 
:'''Max''': ''[While Emmy, Ord, Cassie, and Zak and Wheezie arguing, shouting, fighting and yelling furiously and they started kicking and punching each other, then he irritating turns to the Giant of Nod threateningly enraged]'' '''NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID!''' You are out of order, you jerk!!! You just a show-off and boast, I did because sometimes I'm too bossy!! 
:''[The Giant of Nod angrily turns to Max.]'' 
:'''The Giant of Nod''': ''[from echoes in his speaker --and to Max]'' '''I'M THE BOSSY KING SERGEANT!!! I WILL BOTH YOU AND THEN DWEEB IS STUPID ONE DAY, YOUR GOING TO COMMAND YOU TO GUILTY, I SAY, GUILTY!!! GUILTY, GUILTY!!!! I'LL SMASH YOUR WAGON!!! HEAR ME!?!?'''
:''[By the saying of the Giant of Nod, he --even though Max is difficult being angry king when the giant of nod boss everyone into doing frivolous things at the wrong time he was-- says Max from fighting it deliberately. And he demands that Max losing control of his outrage without his little nodlings's wagon immediately.]'' 
:'''Max''': [mad] '''THAT'S IT!!''' Do this, do that! You're just too bossy to break it. It was way too bossy would never do what you did! Never! So you '''LEAVE ME ALONE!!!'''
:'''The Giant of Nod''': ''[becoming enraged from echoes in his speaker --and to Max]'' '''QUIET!!! I WILL DESTROY YOU GUYS!!! I’m never let you again! Never, Never, NEVER letting mention that name in my presence, You are one with the order of the Sith Lords. Henceforth, you shall be known as Young Sergeant without hear of you going to FIGHT WITH NO NODLINGS TO CARRY OUR MUSH TREES!!!!!!!!!'''
:'''Max''': [yelling loudly ticked off] '''I'M GOING TO BE THE KILLER! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!?! YOU, ARE, FIRED!!!'''
:'''The Giant of Nod''': [angry] '''I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BORN!!''' 
:'''Max''': [thunders angrily] '''YOU ARE FIRED!!!'''
:'''The Giant Of Nod''': [angrily frustration] '''I'D HATE YOU!!!!!'''
:'''Max''': [losing control of his outrage, angrily yells] '''I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN!!!!!!!!'''
:'''The Giant of Nod''': [loud frustration] '''SHUT UP, JERK!!!'''
:'''Max''': [angry roars] '''I WISH I WILL NEVER BEEN BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!''' 
:'''The Giant of Nod''': [frustration lividly] '''THAT'S IT!! GET THE SARGENT OUT IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!! I'LL SMASH YOUR BROKEN WAGON!!!!!!!
:''[So the Giant of Nod is very angry without it; Because he angrily growls, furiously commands the little nodlings having no place to carry their mush trees. That is, as he storms off in anger and says --in unison, enraged echoes on the megaphone-- &quot;'''HE ADMITS MY NODLINGS WITH NO PLACE TO EXPLODE OUR MUSH TREES!!! I'D HATE YOU!!!!!'''&quot;. So he barked orders Max to go away without fix his little nodlings's wagon.]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;100%&quot;/&gt;
:''[At dragon's military school, Sergeant Max commands the nodlings the &quot;wagon section&quot; of his bulldozer so they can carry their mush trees. That is, to replace the broken wagon.]'' 
:'''The Giant of Nod''': [It sure is becoming angry] Recruits, you've lost your temper, so you become a loser!! We're doomed who’s being such a bully!! It's your fault because you were going our separate ways forever. So, this is… This is your dumb the whole day with you doing all kinds of ridiculous straight to stomp your guts out! Do you deny it, Max!?!
:'''Max''': [salutes] '''Sir, WRONG, sir!! WRONG, sir!!!'''
:'''The Giant of Nod''': [sighs then smiles to apologizes about being difficult being still wrecked them and the king, even though it was on purpose and boss everyone into doing frivolous things at the wrong time.] Oh, Good. Well Done, Max. Thank You. Now You're Not A Sergeant. You're good, kid. Outstanding! As long as I'm around you're second best. I'm sorry I was barking order at you. It's just take some time cut down more masteries than ever, but together, we will build my nodlings will be able to our army. I'll show them.
:'''Max''': I'm sorry I was so cross. 
:'''The Giant of Nod''': I know you don't like argument because sometimes I'm too bossy.
:'''Max''': I'm sorry I yelled at you, Mr. Nod.
:'''The Giant of Nod''': [forgives him and accepts his apology, comforting] Me too.

===''Don't Bug Me!'' [1.40a]===
:'''Emmy''': ''[finding Max in the playroom]'' Max? ''[Notices a rubber spider and shrieks]''
:'''Max''': Scared ya!

===''Over and Over'' [1.40b]===

==Season 2 (2001-2002)==
===''Lucky Stone'' [2.01a]===
:'''Max''': Pilot to co-pilot. Ready for take off.
:'''Emmy''': Ready, Captain Max. 

( ''grunting'' )

( ''laughing'' )

:'''Emmy''': Good flying. Now, it's my turn.
:'''Max''': I know where we could fly next.
:'''Emmy''': Definitely.
:'''Kids''': I wish, I wish with all my heart to fly with dragons in a land apart.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Max''': Hello! Anybody there?
:'''Emmy''': Zak? Wheezie? Cassie?
:'''Max''': Ord? Where is everybody? Wait. Watch me skip this rock. 2 times!
:'''Emmy''': Cool. Let me try. Oh, well.
:'''Max''': Whoa! Look at this.
:'''Emmy''': It's shaped like a heart.
:'''Max''': Watch it jump. Ta-da!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zak''': Aw, it was ''nothing''. ( ''no audio'' )

( ''whistle blows'' )

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kids''': I wish, I wish to use this rhyme to go back home until next time.
:'''Max''': Watch me fly!
:'''Emmy''': Max, what are you doing?
:'''Max''': 3 loop-de-loops, 4 aerial zig-zags, and a round-spring-back-hand-off!

===''The Mefirst Wizard'' [2.01b]===

===''Cassie Catches Up'' [2.02a]===
:'''Cassie''': ''[sighs]'' I feel so bad I let Emmy down.

:''[first lines]''
:'''Emmy''': [making shadow puppets] See? This one's a dog and this one's a rabbit. Can you guess what this one is?
:'''Max''': Um, a bat?
:'''Emmy''': Right! And he's coming to get you...

:''[last lines]''
:'''Max''': We could have a jumping contest and a spinning with your eyes shut contest.
:'''Mom''': Max! Emmy! Time for lunch!
:'''Emmy''': How about a contest to see who can eat the most spaghetti?
:'''Max''': I'd win that!
:'''Emmy''': Not if I get the spaghetti first!
:'''Max''': Heh heh, wait up!

===''Very Berry'' [2.02b]===
:''[first lines]''
:'''Max''': Hey, look, Emmy. I have a banana nose.
:'''Emmy''': Hold on. I've almost finished my book. Are you done with your puzzle yet?

:''[last lines]''
:'''Max and Emmy''': I wish, I wish to use this rhyme to go back home until next time.
:'''Emmy''': Hey, look out the window! It's started to rain. And you know what that means.
:'''Max''': Lots and lots of mud puddles!
:'''Emmy''': Wait for me!

:'''Ord''': Ohh... ''[his stomach starts making very loud noises]'' I've ate so many berries before... Should I... or shouldn't I? Well, maybe just a little bite.

:'''Max''': My Daddy once read me a story where a bear who got stuck in a hole. 'Cause he too much honey.
:'''Zak''': Really? How did he get out?
:'''Max''': He stayed there until he got thin again, then he popped out!

===''Finders Keepers'' [2.03a]===

===''Remember the Pillow Fort'' [2.03b]===
:'''Wheezie''': ♪ The wind blows a breezy through Wheezie's treezies... ♪
:'''Zak''': ''[annoying]'' Ohhhhhh... If I hear another song about the wind blowing through something like... Ohhhhhh...
:'''Wheezie''': ''[repentant]'' Oh... You right, you right.
:'''Max''': Hi, Zak and Wheezie, what's wrong?
:'''Wheezie''': Oh, hi, Max. We're supposed to bring a new song to our music lesson tomorrow and it's supposed to be about feelings, but we can't think of anything good.
:'''Zak''': And we've been trying for days!
:'''Wheezie''': Oh!... oh!... oh!... How about...? ♪ Ord is tall and Max is short, they both built a pillow fort... ♪
:'''Zak''': ''[scolding hers]'' Wheezie, feelings, like happy and sad!
:'''Wheezie''': I know, I know...
:'''Ord''': '''MAX, I CAN'T FIND ANYMORE PURPLE PILLOWS, I THINK YOU USED THEM ALL UP!'''
:'''Max''': That's because I'm making a purple fort and you're making a red fort, Ord.
:'''Ord''': But I wanted to make a tunnel just like yours!
:'''Max''': '''BUT YOU CAN'T, PURPLE'S MY COLOR AND RED IS YOURS!'''
:'''Ord''': '''FINE!''' I've never like purple anyway.
:'''Max''': '''WHAT'S WRONG WITH PURPLE?! PURPLE'S BETTER THAN RED!'''
:'''Ord''': '''NUH-UH! RED IS BETTER THAN PURPLE!'''
:'''Max''': '''IS NOT!'''
:'''Ord''': '''IS TOO!'''
:''[is repeated]''
:'''Zak''': Oh! Now this is good!
:'''Wheezie''': '''LOOOOOOOVE IT!'''
:'''Zak''': ♪ Is not! ♪
:'''Wheezie''': ♪ Is too... ♪
:'''Zak''': ♪ Is not! ♪
:'''Wheezie''': ♪ Is too... ♪
:'''Zak''': ♪ I'm mad! ♪
:'''Wheezie''': ♪ Mad at you. ♪
:'''Max''': '''PURPLE'S GOOD!'''
:'''Ord''': '''RED IS BETTER!'''
:'''Emmy''': What are you yelling about?
:'''Ord''': '''MAX AND I ARE HAVING A FIGHT!'''
:'''Cassie''': What about?
:'''Max''': '''ORD THINKS IS RED FORT IS BETTER THAN MY PURPLE FORT!'''
:'''Ord''': '''MAX THINKS IS PURPLE FORT IS BETTER THAN MY RED FORT!'''
:'''Emmy''': Why fight? Both of your forts are nice.
:'''Cassie''': Yeah! They look great!
:'''Max''': But don't you think purple's great, Cassie?
:'''Ord''': But red is nice is too, Emmy, just like apples! I know you like apples!
:'''Emmy''': Well, red is pretty nice. Just look at it, Cassie...
:'''Cassie''': But that purple is the same color as grapes. I love grapes.
:'''Emmy''': '''YOU'RE WRONG! PURPLE ISN'T BETTER THAN RED!'''
:'''Cassie''': '''I'M NOT WRONG!'''
:''[They both regret their fight]''
:'''Cassie''': Wait! Why are we fighting?
:'''Emmy''': Ah... Let's go back and play hospital. ''[both withdraw]''
:'''Zak''': Oooooh! Let's put that in!
:'''Wheezie''': Okie-dokie!
:'''Max''': Come back!
:'''Ord''': '''YEAH! YOU NEVER TOLD US WHICH ONE YOU LIKED BEST!''' Ooooohhhhh... Max... This isn't any fun... I don't want to fight with you.
:'''Max''': Me either.
:'''Ord''': Really? Then you think red is better too?
:'''Max''': '''NO WAY!''' Purple's better...
:'''Both''': ''[sad]'' Awwwwwwwww...
:'''Ord''': How are we gonna stop fighting, Max?
:'''Max''': I don't know.
:''[Zak and Wheezie they return happy with an good new]''
:'''Zak''': We finally have our song! And it's full of feelings thanks to you two, listen!
:'''Wheezie''': We used to have fun all day!
:'''Zak''': We were happy and we played!
:'''Wheezie''': ''[as both they get angry]'' Now we're sad and we fight...
:'''Zak''': From the morning till the night...!
:''[They repeat all the above]''
:'''Wheezie''': '''THANKS, ORD! THANKS, MAX!'''
:''[Both withdraw very happy]''
:'''Max''': Zak and Wheezie are right, Ord, we used to have fun all day! We used to slide down the biggest mountains.
:'''Ord''': It was cold that day!
:'''Max''': And make music that everyone could dance to.
:'''Ord''': And we cooked yummy things in the kitchen. And played hide and snow seek till it was practically dark!
:'''Max''': Didn't we have a great time? And we'd fly everywhere on our magic carpet.
:'''Ord''': That was fun!
:'''Max''': And grab on the clouds that pull us way up into the sky!
:'''Ord''': And we made sandcastles and sandbombs... and sandwiches...
:'''Max''': ''[laughs]'' And you taught me how to swing on the jungle gym.
:'''Ord''': And you helped me learn to ride a bike. '''AND I WAS SO SURPRISED ON MY BIRTHDAY...!'''
:'''Max''': Ord, I want to be friends again, but I still like purple.
:'''Ord''': And I still like red...
:'''Max''': Come on, I know a way we can both get what we want.
:''[They both build a new fort with the red and purple pillows together and Cassie and Emmy peek out from behind a bush.]''
:'''Emmy''': What?
:''[Max and Ord finish setting up the fort and Emmy waves to them]''
:'''Max''': Come on down, you guys, come play in our new fort!
:'''Ord''': It's got lots of tunnels...
:'''Emmy''': But how did you two stop fighting so fast?
:'''Ord''': We used both our favorite colors and we made a really great fort. '''HURRY UP!'''
:'''Emmy and Cassie''': '''WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!''' ''[laughs]''

===''Big Funky Cloud'' [2.04a]===
:'''Emmy''': Yippee! We did it!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ord''': Look out!
:'''All''': Watch out!
:'''Ord''': Whoa!

===''Copy Cat'' [2.04b]===
:'''Kids''':  ( ''in unison'' ) I wish, I wish, to use this rhyme to go home, until next time.
:'''Mom''': ( ''shouts in the house at once'' ) ''Max! Emmy! I just got back time the market. Does anyone want the juice pop?''
:'''Kids''': ( ''in unison'' ) I do! 

( ''both laughing'' )

===''One Big Wish'' [2.05a]===
:'''Emmy''': '''MAX, YOU JUST GREW AGAIN!'''
:'''Ord''': '''YOU'RE AS BIG AS MUNGUS THE GIANT, AND THAT'S REALLY, REALLY, REALLY BIG!'''
:'''Max''': Better put these away, Wheezie, I don’t want to accidentally...
:''[Max grabs the bats but ends up crushing them to pieces]''
:'''Max''': ...break them.
:'''Wheezie''': ''[very annoyed]'' '''HEY! BIG GUY!'''
:'''Zak''': ''[also annoyed]'' '''NICE GOING, MAX...!'''

===''Breaking Up is Hard to Do'' [2.05b]===
:'''Wheezie''': '''STOOOOOOOOOP IIIIIIIIIIIT...!''' I just hate when you guys, especially over this... ''what do you call it.''
:'''Zak''': Yeah! Plus all this noise is giving me a headache!
:'''Emmy''': I think I how to settle this.
:'''Max''': Okay...
:'''Ord''': How, Emmy?
:'''Emmy''': We'll play ''&quot;eeny, meeny, miny, moe&quot;''.
:'''Ord''': What's that? It sounds scary!
:'''Emmy''': ''[laugh]'' Don't worry, Ord, it won't be scary, I'll see a rhyme and with each word i'll point to one of you and then the other. Whoever I'm pointing to when the rhyme ends, gets to take the piece home first.
:'''Max''': Well, okay...
:'''Ord''': I guess so...
:'''Emmy''': Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, catch a dragon by the toe, if he hollers let him go, eeny, meeny, miny, moe.
:''[Max tries to put himself in Ord's place]''
:'''Emmy''': ''[angry]'' '''MAX!'''
:'''Ord''': '''HOORAY, I'M WIN!'''
:'''Max''': Fine...
:'''Ord''': I'm going to show my mummy right away.

===''A New Friend'' [2.06a]===

===''Have No Fear'' [2.06b]===
:'''Max''': Too broken, too bouncy, too big.

===''Cassie the Green-Eyed Dragon'' [2.07a]===

===''Something's Missing'' [2.07b]===

===''A Crown for Princess Kidoodle'' [2.08a]===
:'''Emmy''': I'm so full. I don't think I'll be able to eat again for three days.
:'''Mom''': Emmy! Max! Dinner!
:''[kids giggle]''

===''Three's a Crowd'' [2.08b]===

===''Knuck Knuck, Who's Where?'' [2.09a]===
:'''Cassie''': ''Uh-oh. Which way?''
:'''Max''': ''[distant]'' ''Emmy. Where are you, Emmy?''
:'''Zak''': ''Where are you?''
:'''Max''': ''Cassie.''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Cassie''': There we're so many different ways to go. So, we mark the paths and we ask for directions, too.

===''Just Desserts'' [2.09b]===
:''[Mungus is sobbing]'' 
:'''Zak''': Look, it's Mungus.

===''Dragonberry Drought'' [2.10a]===

===''A Snowman for All Seasons'' [2.10b]===
:'''Mom''': ''Emmy, Max, I think you have spent enough time inside today. Why don't you go outside and some fresh air? You can play in the snow.''

===''I Believe in Me'' [2.11a]===
:'''Cassie''': ''[gasps]'' Emmy, Max.

===''Bye Bye Baby Birdie'' [2.11b]===

===''Back to the Storybook'' [2.12a]===
:'''Emmy''': Come on, Max. Today's the day Cassie bringing Kiki and Finn to the School in the Sky.
:'''Max''': I'm ready. I was waiting for you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Cassie''': Kiki, Finn, you must be quiet! I'm sorry, Quetzal. Stop!
:'''Bryce''': No! Cassie! Let's get out of here!
:'''Cassie''': I think, they're tired of play with the toys.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Emmy wants to know what the sad face --on Goldilocks-- is for. That is, as she --Emmy--  asks Goldilocks...!]''
:'''Emmy''': ''[to Goldilocks]'' What is the matter, Goldilocks? 
:'''Goldilocks''': ''[before crying]'' I bumped into the dining room table. And I spilled all the porridge! 
:''[Goldilocks cries --after the accident she just made with the porridge.]''
:'''Goldilocks''': ''[crying]'' '''BOO HOO!'''
:''[Max, he says to Goldilocks...!]'' 
:'''Max''': All three bowls? 
:''[And Goldilocks says...!]'' 
:'''Goldilocks''': ''[in between tears]'' Yes. I cleaned up the mess. 
:''[After she --Goldilocks-- says this, she shows the group one of the porridge bowls. Then she says to Max and the rest of the gang...!]''
:'''Goldilocks''': ''[in between tears]'' But now there is no porridge left to eat! 
:''[Goldilocks resumes crying.]''

===''Dragon Scouts'' [2.12b]===

===''The Serpent's Trail'' [2.13a]===
:'''Norm''': That’s for me to know and for you to figure out. ''[laughs]'' By solving this puzzle. So far today, I’ve seen six different faces, including yours. So have I seen Cyrus or not?
:'''Wheezie''': Can you say it again?
:'''Norm''': Sure. So far today, I’ve seen six different faces, including yours. ''[laugh]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;85%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Max''': So that's why Cyrus took your detective kit, Emmy...
:'''Ord''': To help him find the girls eggs!
:'''Emmy''': Of course! My magnifying glass would help them spot the tiny little holes where the eggs are hidden.
:'''Max''': We have to find Cyrus.
:'''Ord''': We have to stop him!
:'''Wheezie''': We have to save of itty-bitty eggs!
:'''Max''': ''[listen to Cyrus]'' There he is...!
:''[The gang runs to catch it]''
:'''Cyrus''': Come on, my dear little eggies... I know you're around here somewhere... Ah-ha! ''[dig in the sand]'' My treasure... Eggs, eggs and more eggs...!
:''[The gang finally catches him]''
:'''Cyrus''': Oh, oh...
:'''Emmy''': That's '''MY''' detective kit, Cyrus...
:'''Cyrus''': You're right, sorry, I never should have taken it without asking you... Here. ''[he gives her back the detective kit and starts taking the eggs]''
:'''Cassie''': Those aren't your eggs either, Cyrus!
:'''Cyrus''': But... but-but-but...!
:'''Everyone''': ''[in chorus]'' '''CYRUS!'''
:'''Cyrus''': Oh, alright. ''[puts the eggs down]'' Can't I have just one itty-bitty egg...?
:'''Everyone''': ''[in chorus]'' '''NO!'''
:'''Cyrus''': '''JUM!''' Fool... ''[leaves feeling angry and muttering to himself under his breath]''

===''Head Over Heels'' [2.13b]===
:'''Max''': Emmy, remember, it's &quot;ready, hand-hand, foot-foot.&quot; Not, &quot;hand-hand, foot-bottom.&quot;

===''Sticky Situation'' [2.14a]===

===''Green Thumbs'' [2.14b]===

===''Teasing is Not Pleasing'' [2.15a]===

===''Team Work'' [2.15b]===
:'''Ord''': Max! Emmy! Know any jokes? ''[hugging them]''
:'''Max''': Why? 
:''[Ord tickles Emmy and Max and they both laugh]''
:'''Ord''': Because the giggle flowers are in bloom!
:'''Wheezie''': I looooove giggle flowers, they're so... giggly! ''[laugh]''
:'''Cassie''': They'll laugh at anybody's jokes, even mine.
:'''Zak''': Wanna pick some?
:'''Emmy''': Definitely.
&lt;hr width=&quot;45%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Max''': If I had giggle flowers seeds, I'd plant them all over the place.
:'''Ord''': That wouldn't work, giggle flowers only grow in hard to find places, because they're shy.
:'''Wheezie''': I know how to find them...
:'''Emmy''': How?
:'''Wheezie''': I'll show you. Who has a knock-knock joke?
:'''Max''': Hum... Knock, knock...
:'''Wheezie''': Who's there?
:'''Max''': Cargo.
:'''Wheezie''': Cargo who?
:'''Max''': Cargo beat, beat!
:''[Wheezie laugh, listening the laughing flowers and Zak covers her snout]''
:'''Wheezie''': I think are you one! ''[laugh]''
:'''Zak''': How could you be sure what you're talking all the time? Shhhhhhhhhh!
:''[They both go over to look inside the bush, they open it and find a stinkydink.]''
:'''Both''': ''[in chorus]'' '''A STINKYDINK!'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;45%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zak''': '''GROSS! STICKY YUCKY SPIDER THREADS!'''
:'''Wheezie''': '''YOU MADE ME RUN INTO A SPIDER WEB!'''
:'''Zak''': '''ME?! YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN LOOKING WHERE WE WERE GOING!'''
:''[They both see their badges moving away]''
:'''Wheezie''': '''OUR BADGES!''' ''[worried]'' They're gone. Oh, Zak... If we don't stop arguing our badges just won't shine and we'll never get them back.
:'''Zak''': You're right.
:'''Wheezie''': On a count of three, both of us will grab the top of the spider web and pull it! Ready? One, two...
:'''Zak''': Wait! Wait. Is it ''&quot;one, two, hold on three&quot;'' or ''&quot;one, two, three&quot;'', pull!
:'''Wheezie''': No, Zak... It's ''&quot;one, two, three, then pull.&quot;'' Okay? Here we go. 
:''[They both hold the spider web]'' 
:'''Wheezie''': One, two, three, pull!
&lt;hr width=&quot;45%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ord''': ''[hugging to Zak and Wheezie]'' Oh, thank goodness we found you...!
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': '''OH, ORD! YOU'RE SQUISHING! LITTLE LESS GLAD WOULD BE GOOD! OH, NOW! OOH! OW!'''

===''On Thin Ice'' [2.16a]===
:'''Emmy''': Hurry, Max. I'm ready.
:'''Max''': Found them. I wonder why Quetzal asked us to bring our ice skates today.
:'''Emmy''': There's only one way to find out.
:'''Kids''': I wish,  I wish with all my heart to fly to dragons in a land apart.

:'''Kids''':

===''The Shape of Things to Come'' [2.16b]===
:''[For the circle key to Crystal the Door, Max sees a green lizard round orange spots. The lizard, he appears smiling. And the lizard, his spots are indeed shaped like a circle. The lizard smiles in a friendly smile. Then Max talks to the lizard.]''
:'''Max''': ''[to the lizard]'' Excuse me, Mr. Lizard? Can we maybe borrow one of your spots? We promise to bring it right back.
:'''Mr. Lizard''': ''[laughs mockingly]'' '''HA!''' 
:''[Then he gets into a bullying tone. And --after Max asks him if he can borrow one of his spots because they are a circle-- he says to Max...!]''
:'''Mr. Lizard''': ''[continues --and in between laughs]'' '''OH SURE! AFTER YOU LET ME BORROW YOUR NOSE!''' 
:''[The lizard laughs mockingly, resumes laughing, and walks away. That is, after he says to Max that he --Max-- can borrow one of his spots as soon as he --Max-- lets him borrow his nose. Max --in response to the lizard-- pinches his nose and tries to keep the lizard from borrowing it. That is, since he does not want to fall for the lizard's joke.]''

===''Hide and Can't Seek'' [2.17a]===

===''The Art of Patience'' [2.17b]===

===''So Long Solo'' [2.18a]===

===''Hands Together'' [2.18b]===
:'''Dragons''': Happy Dragontines Day! ''[hug them]''
:'''Emmy''': And look what we brought! Dragontines for everybody!
:'''Cassie''': We have cards for you too!
:''[They all cheer and hand out the Dragontines as Quetzal comes over]''
:'''Quetzal''': Hola, Max and Emmy. Will you be joining us for the Happy Hearts recital this morning?
:'''Ord''': It's a show that we put on for everyone we love every Dragontines Day. We sing songs and do dances. It'’s really fun, and...
:'''Wheezie''': And we'd loooove it if you two would boogie down with us!
:'''Emmy''': Definitely!
:'''Quetzal''': I'll see you onstage, then. Adiós, niños. ''[leaves]''
:'''Wheezie''': Listen up, everybody, Zaky and I have a terrific idea! We want to sing a song that Quetzal taught us!
:'''Zak''': There's a dance that goes with the song. And we can teach you how to do it.
:'''Ord''': My mommy's gonna love that.
:''[Changes to the playground where they gather to rehearse.]''
:'''Wheezie''': Okey-dokey, artichokies! The song is called ''&quot;Los Pollitos&quot;''.
:'''Emmy''': I know that song! My Tía Carmen taught it to me when I was little. ''&quot;Los Pollitos&quot;'' means &quot;little chicks.&quot;
:'''Wheezie''': Right you are! And the little chicks are all cold and hungry. Brr!
:'''Emmy''': But their mom finds some food and a warm blanket for them.
:'''Wheezie''': Did your Tía teach you the dance too?
:'''Emmy''': She sure did.
:'''Zak''': Perfect! So why don't we show everyone how it goes?
:'''Wheezie''': A-one... A-two and a-one, two, three!
:''[Emmy, Zak and Wheezie perform the &quot;Los Pollitos&quot; dance]''
:'''Wheezie''': ♪ Los pollitos dicen &quot;Pio, pio, pio. Cuando tienen hambre, cuando tienen frio.&quot; Bajo sus dos alas, acurrucaditos. Hasta el otro dia, duerman los pollitos. ♪
:''[Moves: &quot;Los pollitos dicen &quot;Pio, pio, pio&quot;: Stand on one foot, then flap arms like a chick while stamping feet. &quot;Cuando tienen hambre, cuando tienen frio&quot;: Stand still and rub belly, cross arms and shiver in place. &quot;Bajo sus dos alas, acurrucaditos&quot;: Flap arms and stamp feet again while spinning. &quot;Hasta el otro dia, duerman los pollitos&quot;: Pretend to sleep with head against arms, then rock arms back and forth.]''
:'''Cassie''': That looks fun!
:'''Ord''': Yeah, let's all try it now!
:'''Zak''': In English this time.
:''[They all dance and Ord stumbles]''
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': ♪ All the little chicks say &quot;Cheep, cheep, cheep. We are very hungry and too cold to sleep. Their mother spreads her wings and feeds them lots of grain. So until tomorrow, they're warm and safe again. ♪
:''[Ord knocks Max and Cassie to the ground and they laugh.]''
:'''Zak''': Pretty good for the first time. Want to try it again?
:'''Cassie''': Yeah!
:'''Emmy''': Sure!
:'''Ord''': You bet we do!
:''[The song restarts, all but Ord dances and he stumbles again.]''
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': ♪ Los pollitos dicen &quot;Pio, pio, pio. Cuando tienen hambre, cuando tienen frio.&quot; Bajo sus dos alas, acurrucaditos. Hasta el otro dia, duerman los pollitos. ♪
:'''Emmy''': ♪ All the little chicks say &quot;Cheep, cheep, cheep. We are very hungry and too cold to sleep. Their mother spreads her wings and feeds them lots of grain. So until tomorrow, they're warm and safe again. ♪ ''[hugs Cassie and laughs]''
:'''Ord''': Hey, that dance is hard!
:'''Emmy''': Why don't we try it again? You'’ll catch on.
:'''Ord''': I hope so.
:'''Cassie''': I have an idea! What if we try the dance again a little slower, one line at a time?
:'''Ord''': Okay.
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': Here we go! ♪ Los pollitos dicen... ♪
:'''Emmy and Cassie''': ♪ All the little chicks say... ♪
:'''Max''': Get ready to flap.
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': ♪ &quot;Pio, pio, pio.&quot; ♪
:'''Emmy and Cassie''': ♪ &quot;Cheep, cheep, cheep.&quot; ♪
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': ♪ &quot;Cuando tienen hambre...&quot; ♪
:'''Emmy and Cassie''': ♪ &quot;We are very hungry&quot;... ♪
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': ♪ &quot;Cuando tienen frio.&quot; ♪
:'''Emmy and Cassie''': ♪ And too cold to sleep.&quot; ♪
:'''Ord''': Hey, I did it! I did the dance!
:'''Emmy''': Ready to try it all together now?
:'''Ord''': You betcha!
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': ♪ Los pollitos dicen &quot;Pio, pio, pio.&quot; ♪
:'''Emmy and Cassie''': ♪ All the little chicks say &quot;Cheep, cheep, cheep.&quot; ♪
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': ♪ Cuando tienen hambre, cuando tienen frio.&quot; ♪
:'''Emmy and Cassie''': ♪ &quot;We are very hungry, and too cold to sleep&quot; ♪
:'''Ord''': Wait. I'm stuck! I can do the parts of the dance, but it's hard to do them all together! Maybe if I watch you guys do it all the way through again, that'll help...
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': ♪ Los pollitos dicen &quot;Pio, pio, pio. Cuando tienen hambre, cuando tienen frio.&quot; Bajo sus dos alas, acurrucaditos. Hasta el otro dia, duerman los pollitos. ♪
:'''Emmy and Cassie''': ♪ All the little chicks say &quot;Cheep, cheep, cheep. We are very hungry and too cold to sleep. Their mother spreads her wings and feeds them lots of grain. So until tomorrow, they're warm and safe again. ♪
:'''Ord''': Okay, I think I got it. Let's try it!
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': ♪ Los pollitos dicen &quot;Pio, pio, pio.&quot; ♪
:'''Emmy and Cassie''': ♪ All the little chicks say &quot;Cheep, cheep, cheep.&quot; ♪
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': ♪ &quot;Cuando tienen hambre...&quot; ♪
:'''Emmy and Cassie''': ♪ &quot;We are very hungry&quot;... ♪
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': ♪ &quot;Cuando tienen frio.&quot; ♪
:'''Emmy and Cassie''': ♪ And too cold to sleep.&quot; ♪
:'''Ord''': Whoa! ''[he stumbles]''
:'''Emmy''': Are you okay, Ord?
:'''Ord''': Yes, but it's almost time for the Happy Hearts recital and I'm never gonna learn this dance never, ever, ever...
:'''Max''': ''[while Zak, Wheezie, Cassie and Emmy gasps]'' Ord, wait!
:'''Emmy''': Come back!
&lt;hr width=&quot;100%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ord''': I really want to join my friends in the show, but I just ''can't'' do the dance right. ( ''song hums'' ) Clap, stomp. Oh! It's ''no'' use!
:'''Quetzal''': Hola, Ord. You dropped. &quot;To my mommy, love you lots. From, Ord.'' Your mother will be so happy that you made this for her.
:'''Ord''': Thank you.
:'''Quetzal''': Are you going to give it to your mother after the recital?
:'''Ord''': No. I'm ''not'' going to the recital, because I tried and I tried, but, the dance is too hard.

===''Sneezy Does It'' [2.19a]===

===''Try It, You'll Like It'' [2.19b]===

===''Just for Laughs'' [2.20a]===

:''[About the tickle monsters. Kiki and Finn agreed with the group that the remaining custard eggs were in the Giant of Nod's magic box. So they accidentally let the tickle monsters out.]''
:'''Emmy''': ''[to the Giant of Nod]'' Did you say &quot;Tickle Monsters&quot;?
:'''Giant of Nod''': ''[to Emmy]'' '''YES! THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I SAID! AND THOSE TICKLE MONSTERS, THEY ATE UP ALL OUR FOOD!'''

===''Give Zak a Hand'' [2.20b]===
:'''Zak''': Sure!

===''Make No Mistake'' [2.21a]===

===''The Balancing Act'' [2.21b]===
:'''Emmy''': I love my new skateboard, but, I'll ''never'' be able to ride it if this rain doesn't stop.
:'''Max''': I know a place where you can ride it, Emmy.
:'''Kids''': Dragon Land! I wish, I wish, with all my heart, to fly with dragons in a land apart.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kids''': I wish, I wish, to use this rhyme, to go back home, until next time.
:'''Emmy''': Whew. No more skateboarding today.
:'''Max''': You can help me build my log tower, if you want. Whoa! It's gonna fall and make a mess!
:'''Emmy''': You just need to add a log here, so, each side has the same number of logs ( ''British accent'' ) for the perfect balance.

===''Room for Change'' [2.22a]===

===''The Sorrow and the Party'' [2.22b]===

===''The Grudge Won't Budge'' [2.23a]===

===''Putting the Fun in Fun Houses'' [2.23b]===

===''Puzzlewood'' [2.24a]===
:'''Max''': Come on, Emmy, let's finish our jigsaw puzzle. The piece that fits here is big at the top and small at the bottom. Look, Emmy, I found it.
:'''Emmy''': Me, oh, my, it's my favorite.

===''Let's Dance'' [2.24b]===
:'''Wheezie''': '''IT'S A MUSIC BOX! LOOOOOOOVE IT!'''
:'''Zak''': Well, I don't love it that music's making me dance, and I can't stop!
:'''Wheezie''': But dancing's fun, Zaky, and look at you go you're dancing up a storm. '''LOOOOOOOVE IT!'''
:'''Zak''': Uh... It maybe fun for you, Wheezie, but I don't want to dance. Where are we going?
:'''Wheezie''': It's me...
:'''Zak''': Arrrghhhh... But we're supposed to guard the other boxes!
:'''Wheezie''': Oh, all right, I'll close the box now... Zak, it won't close!
:'''Zak''': Uh... Let my try. ''[try to close the box]'' I can't close it either and if we don't we'll keep dancing.
:'''Wheezie''': Come on, little boxy, please, close...
:'''Zak''': Oh, great, now what?
:''[They both leave with the music box dancing ballet along the way]''
:'''Zak''': Maybe Quetzal could help us.
:'''Wheezie''': '''QUETZAL, HEEEEEEEEEELP!'''
:''[Quetzal sees them dancing from the school window and greets them]''
:'''Wheezie''': '''BUT WE'RE TOO FAR AWAY HE CAN'T HEAR US!'''
:'''Zak''': '''WAVE HARDER, THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!'''
:''[Quetzal looks at them through the window again and withdraws]''
:'''Wheezie''': Oh, no! What do we do?
:'''Zak''': '''PANIC! CAUSE WE'RE DOOMED TO DANCE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFES!!!!!!!! WHEEZIE, I'M REALLY TIRED OF THE SONG!'''
:'''Wheezie''': Did tell the truth... ''[sighing]'' I'm tired of dancing too...
:''[The pace of the song slows down]''
:'''Zak''': Do you hear what I hear?
:'''Wheezie''': The music seems to be stopping, let's try to close the box again... '''WE DID IT!'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;85%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zak''': Now leave those boxes alone, Wheezie, every time you open one, we get in big trouble!
:'''Wheezie''': No more peaking, Zak, i promise...
&lt;hr width=&quot;85%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Greta''': Hello, everyone, my hat and I are back it last!
:'''Wheezie''': '''I DID IT! THE WHOLE TIME WE WHERE PLAYING I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THE STRIPY BOX ONCE!'''
:'''Zak''': Here you go, Greta, your boxes.
:'''Greta''': Thank you for watching them...
:'''Wheezie''': Hmmmmmmm... Well... Actually... I couldn't wait and I opened two of them.
:'''Greta''': '''YOU DID?!''' But you shouldn't have opened them without my permission.
:'''Wheezie''': I know, and I'm sorry. I'm trying to learn how to wait.
:'''Greta''': Well... I know how hard it is to wait. But sometimes, waiting for a surprise makes it even more fun when you finally see what it is.
:'''Wheezie''': May I open the box now, please?
:'''Greta''': Yes, you may.
:'''Wheezie''': Any special rules?
:'''Greta''': Nope, go right ahead...
:''[Wheezie opens the box and to everyone's surprise colorful streamers come out]''
:'''Greta''': But there's another secret to this little box, pull your streamer when I say these special words: ''&quot;Gravity Green!&quot;''
&lt;hr width=&quot;85%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Cassie''': It was so much fun!
:'''Ord, Emmy and Max''': Thanks, Greta.
:'''Zak''': See, if you went ahead and opened the box, we wouldn't have known the special words, and we would have missed the merry-go ride.
:'''Wheezie''': I'm so glad I was finally able to wait.
:'''Cassie''': Wheezie, your badge!
:'''Wheezie''': Oh, boy! Look, Zaky, look!
:'''Zak''': That good going, Wheezie!
:''[They both hug each other]''

==Season 3 (2005)==
===''To Fly with a New Friend, Part 1'' [3.01a]===
:''[first lines]''
:'''Max''': ''[imitates galloping hooves as he plays with his horse]'' Giddy-up! Yee-haw! I thought Enrique was coming over to play, Emmy.
:'''Emmy''': He is, Max. Isn't it great having a new friend living next door?
:'''Max''': Yeah.
:''[knocking on the door is heard.]''
:'''Emmy and Max''': Come in!
:''[the door opens and Enrique comes in the playroom.]''
:'''Emmy''': Hi!
:'''Max''': Hi, Enrique!
:'''Enrique''': ''Hola!'' ''Que tal?''
:'''Emmy''': Great!
:'''Max''': How's it going?
:'''Enrique''': ''Bien.'' Okay... I guess.
:'''Max''': ''[offers another horse toy]'' Wanna play cowboy?
:'''Enrique''': ''[grabs the horse toy]'' I have an uncle who is a real-life cowboy. A ''vaquero''. I used to ride horses with him back home.
:'''Max''': Was that in [[Mexico]]? That's where our ''abuelita (Spanish for: grandma)'' is from.
:'''Enrique''': No, in [[Columbia]]. But then we moved to [[Puerto Rico]], and I didn't get to ride so much. ''[pause; Emmy and Max look at him confused and skeptical]'' You guys would ''love'' Puerto Rico! You could play on the beach and swim, and... ''[sighs sadly]''
:'''Emmy''': You really miss it, huh?
:'''Enrique''': ''A veces.'' Uh, sometimes. It's so different [[United States|here]], and it's just hard.
:'''Max''': But you speak English really good.
:'''Emmy''': &quot;Really ''well''&quot;.
:''[Max glares at her.]''
:'''Enrique''': It's not that, it's just... I don't know. I've tried to make friends at school but all the kids all know each other already. And they all talk about stuff I don't know anything about.
:'''Max''': Anything you want to know about, I'm an expert!
:'''Emmy''': ''[giggles]'' Oh, brother!
:'''Enrique''': ''Gracias'', Max. I just wish there was a place where everyone was as friendly as you and Emmy.
:'''Max''': We know a place like that!
:'''Emmy''': ''[whispers]'' Max! ''[glares at him]''
:'''Max''': ''[whispers]'' Why can't we take Enrique there?
:'''Emmy''': Because we... we just can't. ''[Max smiles at her]'' Well, maybe. I guess. ''[smiles]'' Definitely!
:'''Max''': ''[giggles]''
:''[Emmy runs to the drawer and Max follows her. She opens the drawer, picks up the case and opens it, revealing the magic dragon scale.]''
:'''Enrique''': Wow, that is so beautiful! ''Que es eso? (Spanish for: What's that?]''
:'''Max''': It's a dragon scale!
:'''Enrique''': ''[chuckles]'' Sure, right. Seriously, what makes it glow like that?
:'''Max''': It's magical. It takes us to a place called Dragon Land.
:'''Enrique''': Come on! ''[Emmy and Max smile at him]'' Okay, so how does it work?
:'''Emmy''': Well, Max and I hold the scale and say: ''I wish, I wish, with all my heart, to fly with dragons in a land apart.'' And whoosh, we're there!
:'''Max''': ''[picks out the scale]'' You want to try?
:''[Enrique is hesitant as first but shrugs and decides to give it a try as he, Emmy and Max hold the scale together.]''
:'''Emmy and Max''': I wish, I wish, with all my heart...
:'''Enrique''': I wish, I wish, with all I've got...
:'''Emmy''': No, it's ''&quot;with all my heart&quot;''!
:'''Enrique''': Ah, ''corazon''! Heart! Sorry!
:''[Emmy, Max and Enrique hold the scale together.]''
:'''Emmy, Max and Enrique''': I wish, I wish, with all my heart, to fly with dragons in a land apart.
:''[The scale shines bright.]''
:'''Enrique''': ''[gasps]''
:''[The dragon tapestries come to life and leap off the wallpaper, and spin around Emmy, Max and Enrique as the three are surrounded in a colorful sparkling light.]''
:'''Enrique''': What? Whoa! No way!
:''[Emmy, Max and Enrique transport to Dragon Land.]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;85%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Zak and Wheezie fly in.]''
:'''Wheezie''': Ooooooh, I just loooove making a new friend... Hello! I'm Wheezie, and this is my brother, Zak!
:'''Enrique''': Ah... Ohhhhh... Hello, I'm... '''YOU HAVE TWO HEADS!'''
:'''Zak''': Yeah. Hers does most to the talking, mine does most to the thinking! ''[laugh]''
:'''Wheezie''': Oh, Zaky... Ooh, I almost forgot! Quetzal sent us to find you, he need us for something veeeery important...
:'''Enrique''': Quetzal?
:'''Cassie''': He's our teacher at the school in the sky, Enrique...
:'''Max''': Come on! You'll really like him...
:''[Max rides Ord and Emmy rides Cassie.]''
:'''Zak''': You can ride in us, Enrique...
:'''Enrique''': Ride on a dragon's back?
:'''Max''': Of course.
:'''Enrique''': Okay, I've read in horses this can't be that much more difficult. ''[rides Zak and Wheezie]''
:'''Zak''': Hang on tight, Enrique!
:'''Enrique''': Okay... You're not gonna run too fast are you?
:'''Zak''': Who said anything about running?
:'''Wheezie''': You're gonna fly!

===''To Fly with a New Friend, Part 2'' [3.01b]===
:'''Enrique''': Where are we now?
:'''Ord''': Don't know, Enrique... Some kind of garden...
:'''Cassie''': And it's full of knucker holes.
:'''Zak''': Mystery solved. The knuckle holes disappear, some kind of magic brought him here.
:'''Emmy''': But who did the magic?
:'''Quanita''': That would be me... ''[comes down from the tree using his magic wand]'' Hi. I'm Quanita, junior wizard, uh... in training.
:'''Wheezie''': '''AM I MAD!'''
:'''Max''': Yeah, cause you shouldn't take what doesn't belong you! That's not right.
:'''Quanita''': Oh, I am so sorry, let me explain.
:'''Zak''': Oh... To this oughta be good...
:'''Quanita''': Easy... The head wizard asked me to plant all these speckled trees, but it would take me forever to dig holes for all of them...
:'''Ord''': There sure are a lot of them...
:'''Quanita''': So I waved my wand and made a wish for holes to plant them in, and well, these are what appeared. Huh... I am afraid I am not a good wizard.
:''[Everyone looks worried]''
:'''Zak''': Ahhhhh... Anybody can make a mistake, with she makes them constantly.
:'''Wheezie''': '''SURE DO...!'''
:'''Cassie''': Maybe you just need practice, Quanita.
:'''Quanita''': You think?
:'''Emmy''': Definitely.
:'''Quanita''': I'll reverse the wish and send all the knuckle holes back.
:'''Zak''': Get ready to jump everybody, we're going home with the knuckle holes!
:'''Enrique''': Wait! Before we go, we can help Quanita plant her trees.
:'''Emmy''': That's the great idea, Enrique, it's a big job for one little wizard.
:'''Enrique''': Can you make a wish for shovels?
:'''Quanita''': I can try...
:'''Max''': You did it!
:'''Wheezie''': '''LET'S GET TICKING!'''

===''Rise and Bloom'' [3.02a]===
:'''Max''': Come on, little guys. Rise and bloom. Hmm. I think then need a little moe help waking up. 
:''[all join in, singing in Spanish]'' 

===''Super Snow Day'' [3.02b]===

===''Musical Scales'' [3.03a]===
:'''Zak''': You heard, Wheezie! We aren't here! Oops! I mean, Wheezie and I aren't...! Oh! Oh, I give up.
:'''Wheezie''': Awwwwwwww... I had them fooled until you put our foot in your mouth...
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zak''': Our song is called ''&quot;El Coqui&quot;'', the frog!
:'''Enrique''': I taught them that song ''en español'' and english.
:''[Music playing]''
:'''Wheezie''': ♪ My Coqui, little frog, how I love you... ♪
:'''Zak''': ♪ For your song is be comfort and peace... ♪
:'''Wheezie''': ♪ Every night I can go to sleep happy... ♪
:'''Zak''': ♪ When I hear lullabies from Coqui. ♪
:'''Both''': ♪ Coqui, Coqui... ♪
:'''Zak''': '''OH! OW! OH!'''
:'''Wheezie''': ♪ Coqui, Coqui, Coqui... ♪
:'''Enrique''': I didn't teach you this part.
:'''Zak''': ''[jumping]'' '''OOH! AHH!''' 
:'''Wheezie''': ''[jumping]'' '''AAH! OOOH!'''
:'''Zak''': Can you feel that? Uhh. Itchy! Ah!
:'''Cassie''': I think we'd better try something else. Hmmmmm... Maybe we could cover up the bald spots.
:'''Max''': With what?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wheezie''': Why didn't I ever think of wearing all my fancy clothes at the same time before?
:'''Zak''': Because we look like someone dumped a laundry basketover our heads... This almost looks worse than shedding.
:''[Ord, Cassie and Emmy laugh]''
:'''Max''': No! You look like rock stars really. Play!
:''[Music playing]''
:'''Zak''': ♪ My Coqui, little frog, how I love you... ♪
:'''Wheezie''': ♪ For your song is be comfort and peace... ♪
:'''Zak''': ''[concerned]'' ♪ A belt has come loose and it's slipping... ♪
:'''Wheezie''': ♪ Well, grab it before it falls off. ♪
:'''Zak''': ♪ Coqui, Coqui... ♪ Oh! ♪ Coqui, qui, qui... ♪ '''YOW!'''
:'''Wheezie''': ♪ Coqui, Coqui... ♪
:'''Zak''': '''WOW!'''
:''[They both fall to the floor]''
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zak''': '''WHOA!'''
:'''Wheezie''': ''[laugh]'' Oh, sorry. I can't help it!
:'''Zak''': That is a b-a-d haircut.

===''Hand in Hand'' [3.03b]===
:'''Enrique''': Wow!
:'''Emmy''': Hey!
:'''Max''': Ow!
:''[Enrique gasps]'' 
:'''Zak''' and '''Wheezie''': 1, 2, 3, pull! Pull!
:'''Enrique''': Pare! Stop! What are you doing?

===''Sky Soccer'' [3.04a]===
:'''Ord''': Wow! That looks like so much fun! I can't wait to be on the team...
:'''Emmy''': Have you ever played sky soccer before, Ord?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wheezie''': ''[annoyed]'' '''WELL, DON'T TAKE ALL DAY!'''
:'''Zak''': Okay, okay, here goes nothing...!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ord''': I'm not sure I can remember all that.

===''Itching for a Cure'' [3.05a]===
:'''Emmy''': ''Careful.'' 
:'''Max''': ''I am.''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Enrique''': Sorry, I'm late. 
:'''Emmy''' and '''Max''': Huh?
:'''Enrique''': ''[speaks in Spanish]'' ''Sorry.'' I didn't mean to knock down your card house.
:'''Emmy''': That's okay, Enrique.
:'''Max''': Yeah, we we're just practicing for the big house of cards we're gonna build in Dragon Land.

===''The Big Race'' [3.05b]===

===''Max Loves a Train'' [3.06b]===
:'''Max''': All aboooooard!!! Choooooooo, Choooooooo!!! Chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga!
:'''Enrique''': Wow, Max. What a cool model train set from hobby lobby!
:'''Emmy''': [imitating engine's wheels &amp; whistles as a steam train]  Choo, choo, choo, choo, Woo-woo! Max loves steam engine trains going down by the station, Enrique.
:'''Max''': Yeah, and today, we get to ride the Dragon Land Express. Chug, chug, Whoo, whoo, Off we go!
:'''Enrique''': I know. I can't wait about pufferbellies. A Pufferbelly is a big old train with a steam engine. Choo-choo-choo-choo. 
:'''Emmy''': [giggles then she have a great idea to wear bandannas, engineer caps, and gloves, to Enrique and Max for help in pretend play] Should we sing &quot;Down by the Station&quot;? 
:'''Max and Enrique''': [nods their heads in agreement, smiley] Yes! We agreed! We agreed! Choo-choo!! 
:'''Emmy''': [giggles] OK. [making train sounds] Chug, chug, toot, toot  Go To The DragonLand! [They puts both hands on her shoulders] All aboard! Puff, puff, woo, woo, Let's go for Ride! [she imitating train noise from the down by the station song] Puff, puff, Toot, toot! Off we go! Puff, puff, Toot, toot! Off we go!
:'''Emmy, Max and Enrique''':  [chugging with the dragon scale as a train, puffing out smoke with the tune of the song makes the dragons on the wall come to life and made the magic tunnel and the very railroad whistle sounds on the magic buffers] Down by the station, Early in the morning, See the little pufferbellies, All in a row. See the stationmaster, Turn the little handle. Puff, puff, Toot, toot! Off we go! Puff, puff, Toot, toot! Off we go! Puff, puff, Toot, toot! Off we go! Puff, puff, Toot, toot! Off we go!

===''Prince for a Day'' [3.10a]===
:'''Enrique''': How are you two going to decide whose turn it is to clean up?
:'''Emmy and Max''': I know! Rock. Paper. Scissors! ''[they both do scissors]'' Rock. Paper. Scissors! ''[they both do rock]''

===''So Long Solo'' [3.10b]===
:''[After Wheezie's sheet music has sunken into a pond]''
:'''Zak''': Oh, Wheezie, it's all my fault! I guess I wasn't holding the music tight enough.
:'''Wheezie''': It was an accident, Zak. It's okay. I know that there'll be other shows next year.
:'''Zak''': Can't you play a different song? You know hundreds.
:'''Wheezie''': I didn't bring any other music.
:'''Zak''': Well, if you're not gonna perform, then I'm not gonna perform.
:'''Wheezie''': Don't say that! You worked hard on your juggle gym, and I want you to show it off.
:'''Zak''': ''[smiling]'' Really?
:'''Wheezie''': ''[also smiling]'' Yeah!
:''[At that moment, their badges start glowing.]''
:'''Wheezie''': Zak, look, our dragon badge!
:'''Zak''': Ha, it's glowing!
:'''Wheezie''': We must have really learned to...
:'''Zak''': ...work together!
:'''Wheezie''': Aw, Zaky!

===''Feliz Cumpleanos, Enrique'' [3.12a]===
:'''Dragons''': '''SURPRISE!'''
:'''Enrique''': This is all for me?
:'''Wheezie''': Absolutely... Happy birthday!
:''[Everyone it celebrates happily and laughing]''
:'''Quetzal''': ''Feliz cumpleaños, Enrique.''
:'''Enrique''': ''Gracias,'' Quetzal. ''Gracias,'' everybody!
:'''Quetzal''': I must go back to preparing tomorrow's lesson. Enjoy your party, niños!
:'''Everybody''': See you! Bye-bye!
:'''Cassie''': Will you help me pass these out, Emmy?
:'''Emmy''': Definitely.
:'''Wheezie''': Ooooooh, noisemakers, my favorite!
:'''Zak''': ''[annoyed]'' No surprise there.
:''[They all play the noisemakers and march with them, however stop when Enrique gets sad.]''
:'''Ord''': What's the matter, Enrique? Did your blower stop working?
:'''Enrique''': No... These remind me of the tiny whistles we used to hide in the frosting of birthday cakes back in Colombia.
:'''Emmy''': Why did you do that?
:'''Enrique''': ''[laughting]'' Because it was so much fun to pull them out and lick the gooey frosting off the whistles.
:''[Everyone laughs less Zak]''
:'''Wheezie''': '''LOOOOOOOVE IT!'''
:'''Zak''': Sounds messy to me!
:'''Enrique''': Hey! Is that a ''piñata''?
:'''Cassie''': Well, it does kind of look like one.
:'''Ord''': But we use it to play another really fun birthday game. 
:'''Max and Ord''': Pin the badge on the dragon.
:'''Cassie''': Each of us gets one of these!
:'''Max''': And you have to try to put it on the dragon's neck.
:'''Ord''': Like a dragon badge!
:'''Zak''': But the trick is you have to do it all... ''[takes out of his pouch a bandage]''
:'''Wheezie''': Blindfolded...!
:'''Emmy''': Whoever gets the closest is the winner.
:'''Max''': Wanna play?
:'''Enrique''': Sure!
:'''Ord''': Ooh, ooh, ooh, can I go first, uh?
:'''Cassie''': It's a Enrique's birthday award, maybe he should be the first.
:'''Enrique''': That's okay, Cassie, you can go first, Ord...
:'''Ord''': Oh, goody... Thanks, Enrique.
:'''Wheezie''': Ready-freddy?
:''[Zak and Wheezie blindfold Ord and spin him around]''
:'''Emmy''': '''COME ON, ORD...!'''
:''[Everyone is encourage for Ord]''
:'''Zak''': '''ALL RIGHT, ORD! KEEP GOING! KEEP GOING!'''
:''[Ord places the badge on the dragon's foot]''
:'''Ord''': How I do? How I do?
:'''Max''': ''[laugh]'' Now the dragon badge is a dragon shoe...
:''[Ord laugh]''
:'''Emmy''': Now it's your turn, Enrique...
:''[Ord blindfold Enrique and takes him away from the dragon, everyone is encourage for Enrique, he place the badge in the belly of the dragon and the blindfold is lifted.]''
:'''Ord''': ''[laughing]'' Wow!
:'''Max''': ''[laugh]'' Now it's a belly badge...
:''[Enrique laughs]''
:''[Next scene shows the group in the party wearing party hats and drinking juice from boxes. Cassie observes Enrique feeling sad again.]''
:'''Cassie''': ''[worried]'' Don't you like your party, Enrique?
:'''Enrique''': ''Claro que sí'', Cassie... It's really nice of everyone to do all this for me. It's just that... I'm actually feeling kind of sad!
:'''Ord''': Sad? On your birthday?
:'''Wheezie''': See? I told you we should have blown up more balloons...
:'''Zak''': It's not my fault I don't have as much hot air as you...!
:'''Enrique''': Zak, Wheezie, the balloons are ''fantásticas''. I guess it's just... I miss the parties we used to have back in Colombia. ''[he sits sadly on a rock and his friends approach him]''
:'''Cassie''': Hmmmmmm... What do you miss about those parties, Enrique?
:'''Emmy''': Because maybe talking about what you miss will help you not feel so sad.
:'''Enrique''': Well... My friends and family would get together and we'd celebrate, with music and games and all kinds of food.
:'''Wheezie''': Ooooooh, like a ''fiesta''! ''Fiestas'' are so festive!
:'''Enrique''': Sometimes we play the stereo and the grown-ups would hand out instruments, like ''güiros'' and ''maracas'', and we dance along with the music.
:''[His friends look at him listening with interest]''
:'''Enrique''': ''[sad again]'' Ah... I sure missed those parties.
:'''Zak''': Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Wheezie?
:'''Wheezie''': If you're thinking what I'm thinking, Zaky...
:'''Cassie''': I'm thinking it too?
:'''Emmy''': Definitely.
:'''Ord''': What's everyone thinking, Max?
:'''Emmy''': That we can make music the way they did it Enrique's parties.
:'''Wheezie''': Something like this? ''[play music like a xylophone on their scales with Zak]''
:'''Enrique''': That's great, Wheezie!
:''[Everyone starts dancing]''
:'''Enrique''': All we need now are some ''maracas'' and it'll be just like back home.
:'''Zak''': Got any ''maracas'' and that messy pouch of yours, Wheezie?
:'''Wheezie''': Let's see! Hmmmmm... No... Oh! Been looking for that... ''[reaches into his pouch and pulls out a umbrella without fabric, a boot, an accordion and throws them into the air]'' Ah... Oh... No maracas.
:'''Emmy''': Maybe we can make some.
:'''Cassie''': That's a great idea, Emmy...
:'''Max''': Yeah! ''[he scratches the head]'' Huh... How are we gonna do that?
:'''Ord''': I know... ''[goes to some trees and collects five seed pods, returns and pours the seeds into his hand]''
:'''?''':What's that?
:'''Ord''': Dragon pods seeds make a really shaky sound when they're inside my pouch just like ''maracas''. ''[put the seeds in his pouch and makes it sound]''
:'''Max''': ''[laugh]'' We can't all shake your pouch, Ord...
:'''Ord''': Oh, right. ''[laugh]''
:''[Everyone laughs and Wheezie drink his juice from box]''
:'''Enrique''': How about if we put the seeds inside the empty juice boxes and shake them?
:'''Everyone''': '''YEAH! GREAT!'''
:''[Everyone finishes drinking their juice boxes, Ord takes the seeds out of his pouch and places them in the juice boxes]''
:'''Max''': It works! Listen to this! ''[shaking his juice box]''
:'''Ord''': That's great, Max, sounds is good as my pouch!
:'''Wheezie''': All right, everybody, let's ''ma-rraca'' and roll!
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': And the ''uno'' and the ''dos''!
:''[They both play the tune on their scales again while the others rattle their juice box maracas and dance happily to the music.]''
:'''Everyone''': '''ALL RIGHT, ZAK AND WHEEZIE! YEAH! ALL RIGHT!''' ''[laugh]''
:'''Max''': That sounded really cool!
:'''Cassie''': I love played the ''maracas''...
:'''Everyone''': '''YES!'''
:''[Emmy laugh]''
:'''Enrique''': Me too! It reminds me of my family and friends in Colombia. Hmmm... ''[becomes sad again]''
:'''Ord''': Are you starting to feel sad again, Enrique?
:'''Enrique''': A little...
:''[His friends looks worried]''
:'''Wheezie''': Well then, how's about we whip up some more ''fiesta'' fun? We can do the Dragonland Conga!
:'''Zak''': What do you say, Enrique?
:'''Enrique''': It sounds great but... Maybe later. ''[walks away sadly under the worried gaze of his friends and Cassie runs to him]''
:'''Cassie''': Enrique, sometimes when I feel sad, I go talk with Quetzal. He helps me figure out my feelings.
:'''Enrique''': Maybe I should.
:''[Changes at the school in the sky]''
:'''Enrique''': A-ah... And everybody's trying so hard to make me a nice party, a-ah... And I really appreciate it... And I really want to have fun... a-ah... And make the sad feeling go away, but it keeps coming back.
:'''Quetzal''': I understand, Enrique. I too sometimes feel sad.
:'''Enrique''': You do?
:'''Quetzal''': Sí, Enrique, and sometimes when I'm feeling especially sad. It seems as if there is only one thing that I want to do.
:'''Enrique''': What's that?
:'''Quetzal''': Cry... Perhaps that is the way you feel right now.
:'''Enrique''': I always heard that boys... They don't... They're not supposed to...
:'''Quetzal''': Ahhhhhhh... They are not supposed to cry because it is not ''macho''.
:'''Enrique''': ''Sí''.
:'''Quetzal''': There is no shame in crying, Enrique. Trust me, in can be a find way to let the sadness out.
:''[Enrique and Quetzal hug each other and he starts crying, after a while then Enrique leaves school more calm down]''
:'''Everyone''': '''HI, ENRIQUE!'''
:'''Enrique''': ''Hola'', everyone.
:'''Ord''': Are you okay, Enrique? You look like you've been crying.
:'''Enrique''': ''Sí'', but it's okay. Quetzal told me crying helps let the sadness out, and he was right.
:''[His friends nod their heads]''
:'''Emmy''': You do seem happier now, Enrique...
:'''Enrique''': ''Sí'', Emmy. I still feel a little sad, but mostly I feel like it's my birthday and I want to have fun!
:'''Everyone''': ''[celebrating]'' '''GOOD!'''
:'''Enrique''': So if you still want to, maybe we could do the Dragonland Conga?
:'''Everyone''': ''[celebrating]'' '''YEAH! WOO-HOO!'''
:'''Wheezie''': '''LOOOOOOOVE IT!'''
:'''Everyone''': ''[dancing]'' ♪ Feliz cumpleaños... ♪ ''[3 times]''
:'''Enrique''': I don't feel sad anymore, Quetzal!
:'''Quetzal''': ''¡Que bueno, Enrique!''
:''[Everyone laughs celebrating and dancing]''
:'''Max, Emmy and Enrique''': I wish, I wish to use this rhyme to go back home until next time. ''[Then disappear and appear back in the playroom]''
:'''Enrique''': ''Muchas gracias por todo'', Max and Emmy.
:'''Emmy''': You're welcome, Enrique...
:'''Max''': ''De nada...''
:'''Enrique''': You know, my ''papá'' said derby birthday cake when he got home from work... You want to come over?
:'''Emmy''': Cake?
:'''Max''': '''YEAH!'''
:'''Emmy''': Are there gonna be tiny whistles in the frosty?
:'''Enrique''': You bet!
:'''Max''': I want to lick the frosting off!
:'''Enrique''': Me too!
:'''Emmy''': Me three!

===''Moving On'' [3.16a]===
:'''Emmy''': Hey, the dragon scale is glowing.
:'''Max''': They need us in Dragon Land.

===''Something's Missing'' [3.24b]===
:'''Max''': I wish, I wish, with all my heart, to fly with dragons in a land apart.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Max''': I can't wait to see if there's a letter from Emmy, then Mom can read it to me. And I really can't wait till Emmy gets my letter.

===''Hello, Ms. Tipps'' [3.26b]===

===''Just the Two of Us'' [3.29a]===
:'''Zak and Wheezie's mom''': All right, Zak and Wheezie...
:'''Zak and Wheezie's dad''': You can open your eyes now...
:'''Wheezie''': Ooh! I love surprises, they're so... '''SURPRISING...!'''
:'''Zak''': What is it?
:'''Zak and Wheezie's mom''': It's my dragon links building kit. I played with it when I was a little dragon.
:'''Zak and Wheezie's dad''': We know how hard it is to play outside when Polly is tuning her weather machine. So we thought they would have fun playing with it now.
:'''Wheezie''': Looooove it! Let's make a sculpture, a work of art!
&lt;hr width=&quot;80%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wheezie''': Who wants to go swimming?
:'''Max''': Swimming? But... I've never seen a dragon links building kit before.
:'''Wheezie''': Ohhhhh... ''[stroking his head]'' Who wants to be cooped up on a beautiful day like today, right, Zak?
:'''Zak''': Huh?... Oh... All right! Let's play while the sun... i-i-is out!
&lt;hr width=&quot;80%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Emmy''': So... Wheezie, what's your mom and dad's dragon links building kit look like?
:'''Wheezie''': Well, it got lots of pieces you put together to make... ''[Zak covers his snout]''
:'''Zak''': Nothing.
:'''Wheezie''': ''[while Zak gets angry]'' What? Oh! Yeah, nothing. Hey! '''LOOK, IT'S... A SNOWSTORM...!'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;80%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wheezie''': '''HOLD IT STEADY, ZAK...!'''
:'''Zak''': '''I'M TRYING!''' But it's too heavy to hold up all by myself. ''[the pieces fall to the floor]'' We could use Ord's muscles.
:'''Wheezie''': ''[smile]'' What if we asked Ord to help us?
:'''Zak''': Okay, but only Ord. Everybody else can only see it when we're done.

===''Cowboy Max'' [3.29b]===
'''YEE-HAW!'''

===''Flip Flop'' [3.30a]===
:'''Max''': Hey! Zak is acting like Wheezie!
:'''Ord''': And Wheezie is acting like Zak.
:'''Zak and Wheezie''': We are? '''WE ARE!'''
:'''Wheezie''': '''OOOOOH!'''
:'''Zak''': '''AHHHHHHHHH!'''
:'''Cassie''': Maybe Quetzal will know why this is hapenning.
&lt;hr width=&quot;40%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wheezie''': Let's get's over with.
:'''Zak''': Oh, oh, oh!... Wait!... I want to hold it.
:'''Wheezie''': It doesn't matter who holds it.
:'''Zak''': ''[annoyed]'' You held it last time!
&lt;hr width=&quot;40%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zak''': Now we can make a wish to flip-flop back. '''HOOOOORAY...!''' ''[he flies away with Wheezie, they do two somersaults and fall to the ground]''
:'''Wheezie''': Ohhhhhhhhhhhh...
:'''Emmy''': Wheezie, are you okay?
:'''Max''': You're that funny color that Zak turns when you do somersaults.
:'''Wheezie''': Oh, gee, Zak, is this how you feel when I make us do somersaults?
:'''Zak''': If you mean all dizzy-wizzy in your head and icky-sicky in our stomach, yes...
:'''Wheezie''': Oh, I'm sorry, Zaky, I didn't know it made you feel so bad.
&lt;hr width=&quot;40%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wheezie''': There's no one else here! This is hopeless. Zaaak... We already looked in the dailing flowers...
:'''Zak''': See what I made?
:'''Wheezie''': Why are you acting so silly when we have something important to do?
:'''Zak''': Ooh... Can't we have fun at the same time...?
:'''Ord''': Usually Zak is the one who gets upset because Wheezie acting silly...
:'''Zak''': Wheezie, when you act silly sometimes, aren't you just trying to make the job fun?
:'''Wheezie''': Huh, just like you're doing now.
:'''Zak''': '''OHHHHHHH!''' ''[laugh]'' 
&lt;hr width=&quot;40%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Zak''': '''FOLLOW THAT STATUE!'''
&lt;hr width=&quot;40%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wheezie''': Woo-hoo! I feel the tickle-lickle, that beautiful statue must have granted our wish...
:'''Quetzal''': So, Zak, how do you feel being back to your old self?
:'''Zak''': '''LOOOOOOOVE IT!'''
:''[Everyone gasps]''
:'''Zak''': Hey, I can be silly too...
:''[Everyone laugh]''

==Cast==
* [[w:Andrea Libman|Andrea Libman]] as Emmy
* Danny McKinnon as Max 
* Aida Ortega as Enrique 
* [[w:Chantal Strand|Chantal Strand]] as Cassie 
* [[w:Ty Olsson|Ty Olsson]] as Ord 
* Jason Michas as Zak
* [[w:Kathleen Barr|Kathleen Barr]] as Wheezie

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Dragon Tales}} 

[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:Canadian children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:Canadian children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated education TV shows]]
[[Category:Canadian children's animated education TV shows]]
[[Category:PBS Kids shows]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about children]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about dragons]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about siblings]]</text>
      <sha1>eqb1i28r3s2y63hvts3l729nzc5jcdv</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Peppa Pig</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>229390</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944017</id>
      <parentid>3940750</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T19:31:47Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944017</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="9131" sha1="hih8ng5fcdu7sfyhnj2pohzuex51qtj" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Peppa Pig (season 1)|1]] [[Peppa Pig (season 2)|2]] [[Peppa Pig (season 3)|3-4]] [[Peppa Pig (season 4)|4-6]] [[Peppa Pig (season 5)|5-7]] [[Peppa Pig (season 6)|6-8]] [[Peppa Pig (season 7)|7-9]] [[Peppa Pig (season 8)|8-10]] [[Peppa Pig (season 9)|9-11]] | [[Peppa Pig|Main]]
----
'''''[[w:Peppa Pig|Peppa Pig]]''''' (2003-present (produced); 2004-present (aired)) is a English (Series 1-present) (Series 1-present) (2003-present)-French (Series 3-8) (Series 3-10) (2009-2025) language British (Series 1-present) (Series 1-present) (2003-present)-Canadian (Series 3-8) (Series 3-10) (2009-2025)-Quebecois (Series 3-8) (Series 3-10)-American (Series 3-present) (Series 3-present) (2009-present)-Australian (Series 7-present) (Series 9-present) (2021-present) preschool 2D animated (CelAction2D (2D Flash animation/Rigged puppet animation/digital 2D animation/cutout animation/puppet animation)) children's educational fantasy comedy television series. The show was produced by Astley Baker Davies (Series 1-8) (Seasons 1-10) (2003-2025), Contender, Ltd./Contender Entertainment Group (Series 1-2) (Seasons 1-2) (2003-2007), Rubber Duck Entertainment (Series 2) (Season 2) (2005-2007), E1 Entertainment (Series 3) (Seasons 3-4) (2009-2010)/Entertainment One/eOne (Series 4-8) (Seasons 5-10) (2011-2024), E1 Entertainment (UK) (Series 3) (Seasons 3-4) (2009-2010)/Entertainment One (UK) (Series 4-8) (Seasons 5-10) (2011-2024), E1 Kids (Series 3) (Seasons 3-4) (2009-2010)/Entertainment One Family/eOne Family (Series 4-7) (Seasons 5-9) (2011-2023), E1 Entertainment Television (Series 3) (Seasons 3-4) (2009-2010)/Entertainment One Television (Series 4-8) (Seasons 5-10) (2011-2024), Lionsgate Entertainment (Series 3-8) (Seasons 3-10) (2009-2024), Lionsgate (UK) (Series 3-8) (Seasons 3-10) (2009-2025), Lionsgate Television (Series 3-8) (Seasons 3-10) (2009-2025), The Elf Factory (Series 5) (Season 7) (2016-2018), Gaston's Cave (Series 6-8) (Seasons 8-10) (2019-2025), Starz (Series 5-8) (Seasons 7-10) (2016-2025), Allspark (Series 6) (Season 8) (2019-2020), Allspark Animation (Series 6) (Season 8) (2019-2020), Karrot Entertainment (Series 7-present) (Season 9-present) (2021-present), Karrot Animation (Series 7-present) (Season 9-present) (2021-present), Hasbro Entertainment (Series 8-present) (Season 10-present) (2023-present), Starz Entertainment (Series 8) (Season 10) (2024-2025), and Lionsgate Canada (Series 8) (Season 10) (2024-2025), and distributed by Contender, Ltd./Contender Entertainment Group (Series 1-2) (Seasons 1-2) (2003-2007), Rubber Duck Entertainment (Series 2) (Season 2) (2005-2007), E1 Entertainment (Series 3) (Seasons 3-4) (2009-2010)/Entertainment One/eOne (Series 4-8) (Seasons 5-10) (2011-2024), E1 Entertainment (UK) (Series 3) (Seasons 3-4) (2009-2010)/Entertainment One (UK) (Series 4-8) (Seasons 5-10) (2011-2024), E1 Kids (Series 3) (Seasons 3-4) (2009-2010)/Entertainment One Family/eOne Family (Series 4-7) (Seasons 5-9) (2011-2023), E1 Entertainment Television (Series 3) (Seasons 3-4) (2009-2010)/Entertainment One Television (Series 4-8) (Seasons 5-10) (2011-2024), Lionsgate (UK) (Series 3-8) (Seasons 3-10) (2009-2025), Lionsgate Television (Series 3-8) (Seasons 3-10) (2009-2025), Allspark (Series 6) (Season 8) (2019-2020), Hasbro Entertainment (Series 8-present) (Season 10-present) (2023-present), and Lionsgate Canada (Series 8) (Season 10) (2024-2025), in association with [[w:Nickelodeon|Nickelodeon]] ([[w:Nick Jr.|Nick Jr.]]) (UK) (Series 1-present) (Season 1-present) (2003-present), and Five (Series 1-3) (Seasons 1-4) (2003-2010)/Channel 5 (Series 4-8) (Seasons 5-10) (2011-2025)/5 (Series 9-present) (Season 11-present) (2025-present), and was aired on Nickelodeon (Nick Jr.) in English, in the United Kingdom, and in Irish, in Ireland, and Five (Series 1-3) (Seasons 1-4) (2003-2010)/Channel 5 (Series 4-8) (Seasons 5-10) (2011-2025)/5 (Series 9-present) (Season 11-present) (2025-present) in English, in the United Kingdom, and was aired on Nickelodeon (Nick Jr.) (Series 1-present) (Season 1-present) (2003-present), and Paramount+ (Series 7-present) (Season 9-present) (2021-present) in the United Kingdom, and Ireland, Five (Series 1-3) (Seasons 1-4) (2003-2010)/Channel 5 (Series 4-8) (Seasons 5-10) (2011-2025)/5 (Series 9-present) (Season 11-present) (2025-present) in the United Kingdom, Cartoon Network (2005-2008) (Tickle-U (2005-2006)), and Boomerang (2005-2010) (Tickle-U (2005)), Noggin (shorts: 2007-2009) (TV channel)/Nick Jr. Channel (shorts: 2009-2011; full series: 2011-present), Nickelodeon (2012-present) (Weekday Mornings on Nick: The Smart Place to Play (2012-2014)/Nick Jr. (2014-2023)/Nickelodeon Preschool Block (2023-present)), Disney Channel (2015-2025) (Disney Junior on Disney Channel (2015-2017)/Disney Junior (2015-2024)/Disney Jr. (2024-2025)), Starz (Starz Kids and Family) (2016-2025), Starz Encore (Starz Encore Family) (2016-2025), Discovery Family (2016-present), Noggin (2017-2024) (streaming service), Disney+ (2019-2025), Universal Kids (Universal Kids Preschool) (2019-2023), Amazon Prime Video (2019-present), Peacock (Peacock Kids) (2020-2024), Paramount+ (2021-present), and Disney Junior Channel (2015-2024)/Disney Jr. (2024-2025) in English, in the United States, and Knowledge Network (2004-2012) (Knowledge Kids (2008-2012)), TVOntario/TVO (TVOKids) (2004-2014), Teletoon (2005-2023)/Cartoon Network (2023-present), Treehouse TV (2011-present), Nickelodeon (2012-2025), Cartoon Network (2012-2023)/Boomerang (2023-present), Disney Junior (2015-2024)/Disney Jr. (2024-2025), Disney Channel (2015-2025), The Movie Network Encore/Starz (2019-2025), The Movie Network (2018-2019)/Crave (2019-present), Disney+ (2019-2025), Amazon Prime Video Channels (2019-present), Paramount+ (2021-present), and Teletoon+ (2022-present) in English, in Canada, and TFO (2004-2014) (Mega TFO (2004-2013)/Flip TFO (2013-2014), and Mini TFO (2012-2014)), Teletoon (2005-present), Yoopa (2010-2024), La Chaine Disney (2015-2025), Super Ecran (2016-present), Disney+ (2019-2025), and Club Illico (2020-2024)/illico+ (2024-present) in French, in Canada, and Quebec, and was debuted on May 31, 2004, in English, in the United Kingdom. The show was aimed at toddlers, and preschoolers, and from ages 2 to 5.

For the spin-off series that aired on [[w:5 (British TV channel)|5]], see ''[[Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom]]''.

== Opening ==

=== Series 1-8 (Seasons 1-10) (2003-2025) ===
:'''Peppa''': I'm [[w:Peppa Pig|Peppa Pig]]. ''[George Pig arrives.]'' That's my little brother, George. ''[Mama, and Papa Pig arrived.]'' And that's Mama, and Papa Pig. ''[All of the pigs start laughing.]''
:'''Narrator''': Peppa Pig.
=== Series 9-present (Season 11-present) (2025-present) ===
:'''Peppa''': I'm [[w:Peppa Pig|Peppa Pig]]. ''[George Pig arrives.]'' That's my little brother, George. ''[Evie Pig arrives.]'' That's my little baby sister, Evie. ''[Mama Pig arrives.]'' That's Mama Pig. ''[Papa Pig arrives.]'' And that's Papa Pig. ''[All of the pigs start laughing.]''
:'''Narrator''': Peppa Pig.

== Seasons ==
::[[Peppa Pig (season 1)|Season 1]] (2003-2004)
::[[Peppa Pig (season 2)|Season 2]] (2005-2007)
::[[Peppa Pig (season 3)|Seasons 3-4]] (2009-2010)
::[[Peppa Pig (season 4)|Seasons 4-6]] (2011-2013)
::[[Peppa Pig (season 5)|Seasons 5-7]] (2016-2018)
::[[Peppa Pig (season 6)|Seasons 6-8]] (2019-2020)
::[[Peppa Pig (season 7)|Seasons 7-9]] (2021-2023)
::[[Peppa Pig (season 8)|Seasons 8-10]] (2023-2025)
::[[Peppa Pig (season 9)|Seasons 9-11]] (2025-present)

== Special episodes ==
::[[Peppa's Christmas]] (2007)
::[[Peppa Pig: The Golden Boots]] (2015)
::[[Pumpkin Party (Peppa Pig)|Pumpkin Party]] (2015)
::[[Around the World with Peppa]] (2016)

== Cast ==
* Harriette Cox - Peppa Pig
* Zionn Beresford - George Pig
* Holly Park - Evie Pig
* Morwenna Banks - Mama Pig
* Richard Ridings - Papa Pig
* Frances White - Granny Pig
* George Weightman - Grampy Pig
* John Sparkes - Narrator

== Quotes about ''Peppa Pig'' ==
* Since Peppa Pig is already so well-loved, we’ve seen a lot of excitement among [[Tibet]]an children – unlike other cartoon characters I’ve dubbed in the past.
** Tenzin Choekyi, a Tibetan voice actor, as quoted in [https://www.rfa.org/english/tibet/2025/04/23/peppa-pig-tibetan-language-launch/ &quot;Peppa Pig, children’s animated series, now in Tibetan language&quot;], ''Radio Free Asia'' (April 23, 2025)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|0426769|Peppa Pig}}
* {{Official website|http://www.peppapig.com/}}

[[Category:Peppa Pig]]
[[Category:2000s UK animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s UK animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s UK animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Flash animated TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:UK preschool education TV shows]]
[[Category:Cartoon Network shows]]
[[Category:Boomerang shows]]
[[Category:Treehouse TV shows]]
[[Category:Nick Jr. shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about pigs]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about children]]</text>
      <sha1>hih8ng5fcdu7sfyhnj2pohzuex51qtj</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944104</id>
      <parentid>3944017</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T01:09:46Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944104</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="9344" sha1="3p0j6j9bornncowohbe8e2ulztyd3v2" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Peppa Pig (season 1)|1]] [[Peppa Pig (season 2)|2]] [[Peppa Pig (season 3)|3-4]] [[Peppa Pig (season 4)|4-6]] [[Peppa Pig (season 5)|5-7]] [[Peppa Pig (season 6)|6-8]] [[Peppa Pig (season 7)|7-9]] [[Peppa Pig (season 8)|8-10]] [[Peppa Pig (season 9)|9-11]] | [[Peppa Pig|Main]]
----
'''''[[w:Peppa Pig|Peppa Pig]]''''' (2003-present (produced); 2004-present (aired)) is a English (Series 1-present) (Series 1-present) (2003-present)-French (Series 3-8) (Series 3-10) (2009-2025) language British (Series 1-present) (Series 1-present) (2003-present)-Canadian (Series 3-8) (Series 3-10) (2009-2025)-Quebecois (Series 3-8) (Series 3-10)-American (Series 3-present) (Series 3-present) (2009-present)-Australian (Series 7-present) (Series 9-present) (2021-present) preschool 2D animated (CelAction2D (2D Flash animation/Rigged puppet animation/digital 2D animation/cutout animation/puppet animation)) educational fantasy comedy television series. The show was produced by Astley Baker Davies (Series 1-8) (Seasons 1-10) (2003-2025), Contender, Ltd./Contender Entertainment Group (Series 1-2) (Seasons 1-2) (2003-2007), Rubber Duck Entertainment (Series 2) (Season 2) (2005-2007), E1 Entertainment (Series 3) (Seasons 3-4) (2009-2010)/Entertainment One/eOne (Series 4-8) (Seasons 5-10) (2011-2024), E1 Entertainment (UK) (Series 3) (Seasons 3-4) (2009-2010)/Entertainment One (UK) (Series 4-8) (Seasons 5-10) (2011-2024), E1 Kids (Series 3) (Seasons 3-4) (2009-2010)/Entertainment One Family/eOne Family (Series 4-7) (Seasons 5-9) (2011-2023), E1 Entertainment Television (Series 3) (Seasons 3-4) (2009-2010)/Entertainment One Television (Series 4-8) (Seasons 5-10) (2011-2024), Lionsgate Entertainment (Series 3-8) (Seasons 3-10) (2009-2024), Lionsgate (UK) (Series 3-8) (Seasons 3-10) (2009-2025), Lionsgate Television (Series 3-8) (Seasons 3-10) (2009-2025), The Elf Factory (Series 5) (Season 7) (2016-2018), Gaston's Cave (Series 6-8) (Seasons 8-10) (2019-2025), Starz (Series 5-8) (Seasons 7-10) (2016-2025), Allspark (Series 6) (Season 8) (2019-2020), Allspark Animation (Series 6) (Season 8) (2019-2020), Karrot Entertainment (Series 7-present) (Season 9-present) (2021-present), Karrot Animation (Series 7-present) (Season 9-present) (2021-present), Hasbro Entertainment (Series 8-present) (Season 10-present) (2023-present), Starz Entertainment (Series 8) (Season 10) (2024-2025), and Lionsgate Canada (Series 8) (Season 10) (2024-2025), and distributed by Contender, Ltd./Contender Entertainment Group (Series 1-3) (Seasons 1-4) (2003-2010), Rubber Duck Entertainment (Series 2-3) (Season 2-4) (2005-2010), E1 Entertainment (Series 3) (Seasons 3-4) (2009-2010)/Entertainment One/eOne (Series 4-8) (Seasons 5-10) (2011-2024), E1 Entertainment (UK) (Series 3) (Seasons 3-4) (2009-2010)/Entertainment One (UK) (Series 4-8) (Seasons 5-10) (2011-2024), E1 Kids (Series 3) (Seasons 3-4) (2009-2010)/Entertainment One Family/eOne Family (Series 4-7) (Seasons 5-9) (2011-2023), E1 Entertainment Television (Series 3) (Seasons 3-4) (2009-2010)/Entertainment One Television (Series 4-8) (Seasons 5-10) (2011-2024), Lionsgate (UK) (Series 3-8) (Seasons 3-10) (2009-2025), Lionsgate Television (Series 3-8) (Seasons 3-10) (2009-2025), Allspark (Series 6) (Season 8) (2019-2020), Hasbro Entertainment (Series 8-present) (Season 10-present) (2023-present), and Lionsgate Canada (Series 8) (Season 10) (2024-2025), in association with [[w:Nickelodeon|Nickelodeon]] (Nickelodeon Productions) (UK) (Series 1-present) (Series 1-present) (2003-present), [[w:Nick Jr.|Nick Jr.]] (Nick Jr. Productions) (UK) (Series 1-present) (Season 1-present) (2003-present), Nickelodeon Animation Studio (UK) (Series 1-present) (Series 1-present) (2003-present), and Five (Series 1-3) (Seasons 1-4) (2003-2010)/Channel 5 (Series 4-8) (Seasons 5-10) (2011-2025)/5 (Series 9-present) (Season 11-present) (2025-present), and was aired on Nickelodeon (Nick Jr.) in English, in the United Kingdom, and in Irish, in Ireland, and Five (Series 1-3) (Seasons 1-4) (2003-2010)/Channel 5 (Series 4-8) (Seasons 5-10) (2011-2025)/5 (Series 9-present) (Season 11-present) (2025-present) in English, in the United Kingdom, and was aired on Nickelodeon (Nick Jr.) (Series 1-present) (Season 1-present) (2003-present), and Paramount+ (Series 7-present) (Season 9-present) (2021-present) in the United Kingdom, and Ireland, Five (Series 1-3) (Seasons 1-4) (2003-2010)/Channel 5 (Series 4-8) (Seasons 5-10) (2011-2025)/5 (Series 9-present) (Season 11-present) (2025-present) in the United Kingdom, Cartoon Network (2005-2008) (Tickle-U (2005-2006)), and Boomerang (2005-2010) (Tickle-U (2005)), Noggin (shorts: 2007-2009) (TV channel)/Nick Jr. Channel (shorts: 2009-2011; full series: 2011-present), Nickelodeon (2012-present) (Weekday Mornings on Nick: The Smart Place to Play (2012-2014)/Nick Jr. (2014-2023)/Nickelodeon Preschool Block (2023-present)), Disney Channel (2015-2025) (Disney Junior on Disney Channel (2015-2017)/Disney Junior (2015-2024)/Disney Jr. (2024-2025)), Starz (Starz Kids and Family) (2016-2025), Starz Encore (Starz Encore Family) (2016-2025), Discovery Family (2016-present), Noggin (2017-2024) (streaming service), Disney+ (2019-2025), Universal Kids (Universal Kids Preschool) (2019-2023), Amazon Prime Video (2019-present), Peacock (Peacock Kids) (2020-2024), Paramount+ (2021-present), and Disney Junior Channel (2015-2024)/Disney Jr. (2024-2025) in English, in the United States, and Knowledge Network (2004-2012) (Knowledge Kids (2008-2012)), TVOntario/TVO (TVOKids) (2004-2014), Teletoon (2005-2023)/Cartoon Network (2023-present), Treehouse TV (2011-present), Nickelodeon (2012-2025), Cartoon Network (2012-2023)/Boomerang (2023-present), Disney Junior (2015-2024)/Disney Jr. (2024-2025), Disney Channel (2015-2025), The Movie Network Encore/Starz (2019-2025), The Movie Network (2018-2019)/Crave (2019-present), Disney+ (2019-2025), Amazon Prime Video Channels (2019-present), Paramount+ (2021-present), and Teletoon+ (2022-present) in English, in Canada, and TFO (2004-2014) (Mega TFO (2004-2013)/Flip TFO (2013-2014), and Mini TFO (2012-2014)), Teletoon (2005-present), Yoopa (2010-2024), La Chaine Disney (2015-2025), Super Ecran (2016-present), Disney+ (2019-2025), and Club Illico (2020-2024)/illico+ (2024-present) in French, in Canada, and Quebec, and was debuted on May 31, 2004, in English, in the United Kingdom. The show was aimed at toddlers, and preschoolers, and from ages 2 to 5.

For the spin-off series that aired on [[w:5 (British TV channel)|5]], see ''[[Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom]]''.

== Opening ==

=== Series 1-8 (Seasons 1-10) (2003-2025) ===
:'''Peppa''': I'm [[w:Peppa Pig|Peppa Pig]]. ''[George Pig arrives.]'' That's my little brother, George. ''[Mama, and Papa Pig arrived.]'' And that's Mama, and Papa Pig. ''[All of the pigs start laughing.]''
:'''Narrator''': Peppa Pig.
=== Series 9-present (Season 11-present) (2025-present) ===
:'''Peppa''': I'm [[w:Peppa Pig|Peppa Pig]]. ''[George Pig arrives.]'' That's my little brother, George. ''[Evie Pig arrives.]'' That's my little baby sister, Evie. ''[Mama Pig arrives.]'' That's Mama Pig. ''[Papa Pig arrives.]'' And that's Papa Pig. ''[All of the pigs start laughing.]''
:'''Narrator''': Peppa Pig.

== Seasons ==
::[[Peppa Pig (season 1)|Season 1]] (2003-2004)
::[[Peppa Pig (season 2)|Season 2]] (2005-2007)
::[[Peppa Pig (season 3)|Seasons 3-4]] (2009-2010)
::[[Peppa Pig (season 4)|Seasons 4-6]] (2011-2013)
::[[Peppa Pig (season 5)|Seasons 5-7]] (2016-2018)
::[[Peppa Pig (season 6)|Seasons 6-8]] (2019-2020)
::[[Peppa Pig (season 7)|Seasons 7-9]] (2021-2023)
::[[Peppa Pig (season 8)|Seasons 8-10]] (2023-2025)
::[[Peppa Pig (season 9)|Seasons 9-11]] (2025-present)

== Special episodes ==
::[[Peppa's Christmas]] (2007)
::[[Peppa Pig: The Golden Boots]] (2015)
::[[Pumpkin Party (Peppa Pig)|Pumpkin Party]] (2015)
::[[Around the World with Peppa]] (2016)

== Cast ==
* Harriette Cox - Peppa Pig
* Zionn Beresford - George Pig
* Holly Park - Evie Pig
* Morwenna Banks - Mama Pig
* Richard Ridings - Papa Pig
* Frances White - Granny Pig
* George Weightman - Grampy Pig
* John Sparkes - Narrator

== Quotes about ''Peppa Pig'' ==
* Since Peppa Pig is already so well-loved, we’ve seen a lot of excitement among [[Tibet]]an children – unlike other cartoon characters I’ve dubbed in the past.
** Tenzin Choekyi, a Tibetan voice actor, as quoted in [https://www.rfa.org/english/tibet/2025/04/23/peppa-pig-tibetan-language-launch/ &quot;Peppa Pig, children’s animated series, now in Tibetan language&quot;], ''Radio Free Asia'' (April 23, 2025)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* {{imdb title|0426769|Peppa Pig}}
* {{Official website|http://www.peppapig.com/}}

[[Category:Peppa Pig]]
[[Category:2000s UK animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s UK animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s UK animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Flash animated TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:UK preschool education TV shows]]
[[Category:Cartoon Network shows]]
[[Category:Boomerang shows]]
[[Category:Treehouse TV shows]]
[[Category:Nick Jr. shows]]
[[Category:Noggin shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about pigs]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about children]]</text>
      <sha1>3p0j6j9bornncowohbe8e2ulztyd3v2</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>229398</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944051</id>
      <parentid>3942606</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T22:15:06Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944051</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="8980" sha1="ewna3jiu89xnj6jcnqs3npkxxkewbek" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom|Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom]]'''''(2009–2013) is a British animated children's television series aimed at children originally broadcast on Nickelodeon UK.
For the current series that aired on [[w:5 (British TV channel)|5]], see ''[[Peppa Pig]]''.

==Opening==
:'''Holly''': ''[voiceover]'' Somewhere, hidden amongst thorny brambles is a Little Kingdom of elves and fairies. Everyone who lives here is very, very small.
:'''Ben''': I'm Ben Elf.
:'''Holly''': And I'm Princess Holly. Come on, let's play!
:'''Ben''': Wait for us!
:'''Holly''': ''[voiceover]'' [[w:Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom|Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom]].

==Season 1 (2008-2011)==
===''Holly's Magic Wand''===
:'''Holly''': I'm sure I left my wand here. It's gone! ''[Holly is crying.]''
:'''Ben''': Hi, Holly.
:'''Holly''': Hi, Ben.
:'''Ben''': What's wrong?
:'''Holly''': I've lost my wand. I can't do magic anymore.
:'''Ben''': Maybe that's a good thing.
:'''Holly''': It's not funny! I'm never going to find my wand and I'll be sad forever. ''[She cries again.]''
:'''Ben''': Cheer up, Holly. I will find your wand.
:'''Holly''': How?
:'''Ben''': Elves are very good at finding things, and I'm an elf. ''[blows trumpet]''
:'''Holly''': Thanks, Ben.

===''Elf Joke Day''=== 
:'''Holly''': Hi, Ben.
:'''Ben''': Hi, Holly. I've got a new toy.
:'''Holly''': What is it?
:'''Ben''': It's a telescope. You can see things that are really far away.
:'''Holly''': Wow! Can I have a go?
:'''Ben''': ''[hands the telescope to Holly]'' Okay.
:'''Holly''': ''[holds the telescope to her eye]'' I can't see anything.
:'''Ben''': Try twisting it a bit.
:'''Holly''': ''[twists the telescope a bit]'' It still doesn't work. ''[she puts the telescope off her eye, revealing a black ring around it]''
:''[Ben starts laughing.]''
:'''Holly''': Why are you laughing, Ben?
:'''Ben''': It's a joke telescope! It gives you a black ring around your eye that makes you look really silly! Look! ''[grabs a spyglass to make Holly look at it]''
:'''Holly''': Ah! Why did you do that?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wise Old Elf''': ''[opening the door]'' Let's go and join in the fun! 
:'''Nanny Plum''': ''[screaming while breaking the toy mouse]'' Help! 
:'''Wise Old Elf''': ''[entering with Ben and Holly]'' Ho-ho-ho. Happy Elf Joke Day! 
:'''Nanny Plum''': That was not funny, Wise Old Elf.

===''Morning, Noon, and Night''===
:''[rooster crows]''
:'''Nanny Plum''': That's the cockerel crow, Princess Holly! Time for fairies to get up!

===''Betty Caterpillar''===
:'''Holly''': Look, Betty Caterpillar is sad.
:''[Betty starts crying.]''
:'''Ben''': I think she feels a bit left out. ''[Gaston the Ladybird and Bobby the Bee are having fun flying. Betty is crying again.]'' I know how to cheer her up.
:'''Holly''': Oh, good. Go on then, Ben.
:'''Ben''': Don't be sad, Betty. Flying isn't everything. Elve's can't fly, and I'm an elf. ''[blows trumpet]''
:''[Betty cries again.]''
:'''Holly''': That didn't cheer her up much. ''[Betty cries once again.]'' Maybe I can make her fly by magic.
:'''Ben''': Can you do that?
:'''Holly''': Um, I think so.

===''Picnic on the Moon''===
:'''Narrator''': (''o.s.'') Today's adventure starts... In Outer Space!
:''[The scene pans up to the moon, the title Picnic on the Moon appears.]''
:'''Ben and Holly''': (''o.s.'') Picnic on the Moon!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Nanny Plum''': That's the last straw. No water in the sea. And we can't eat food. What kind of picnic is this?
:'''Mr. Elf''': ''[shouting]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''IT'S NOT A PICNIC!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Nanny Plum''': Ok, let's go home.

==Season 2 (2011-2014)==
===''Gaston to the Rescue''===
:'''King Thistle:''' Ewww, who let this smelly ladybird in the house?!

:'''Queen Thistle:''' ''[screaming loudly]''
:'''King Thistle''': HOLLY!!!!
:'''Holly''': Yes, Daddy?
:'''King Thistle''': Please keep Gaston under control.
:'''Holly''': Sorry, Daddy.
:'''King Thistle''': We live in the castle, Gaston lives outside.
:''[Gaston is whining.]''
:'''Ben''': Never mind, Gaston. Let's all go to the great elf tree instead.
:'''Mr. Elf''': Mrs. Elf, that blueberry pie smells delicious.
:'''Mrs. Elf''': Yes, Mr. Elf. The secret is to cook it very slowly over 3 days.
:'''Ben''': Hello Mum!
:'''Holly''': Hello!
:'''Mrs. Elf''': Hello Ben, Hello Holly!
:'''Mr. Elf''': Ah, Can't he shake himself outside?
:'''Mrs. Elf''': That pie is not for you, Gaston! Now Ben, Gaston should live outside, we live inside.
:'''Ben''': Okay, Mum.
:'''Mr. Elf''': AGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!! Where's the pie gone?!
:'''Mrs. Elf''': Gaston's eating it!
:'''Holly''': We don't know it was Gaston.
:'''Ben''': It could have been someone else.
:'''Mrs. Elf''': He's the only one with pie on his face!
:'''Mr. Elf''': &lt;big&gt; ''[crossly]'' Out Gaston, I never want to see you again.&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Gaston is whining.]''
:'''Ben''': Sorry, Gaston.
:'''Holly''': You'd better go home.
:'''Mrs. Elf''': Go on, Gaston! Off you go!
:'''Queen Thistle''': Bedtime, Holly! ''[Holly sighs]'' Are you all right, darling?
:'''Holly''': I'm a bit sad. Gaston isn't allowed in our houses anymore. ''[Gaston is howling.]'' Gaston! Oh, Gaston is all wet and cold.
:'''King Thistle''': Gaston, go and make that rucket somewhere else!
:'''Holly''': Poor Gaston. ''[rooster crowing]'' Gaston!

===''Nanny's Magic Test''===
:'''Wise Old Elf''': I'm taking away your wand!
:'''Nanny Plum''': You can't do that!
:'''Wise Old Elf''': I just did.
:'''Nanny Plum''': It's an outrage! The king will be very angry!
:''[cut to the Little Castle]''
:'''King Thistle''': ''[laughing out loud]''
:'''Nanny Plum''': It's not funny!
:'''King Thistle''': You're right, it's not funny. ''[keeps laughing]''
:'''Wise Old Elf''': Nanny does not have a license, she must not do magic!
:'''King Thistle''': Yes, yes, Wise Old Elf. But maybe we can overlook it just this once as it's Nanny?

===''Dolly Plum''===
:'''Nanny Plum''': That's better.
:''[Daisy and Poppy are crying again.]''
:'''Holly''': Now the twins are crying again.

===''Daisy and Poppy Go Bananas''===
:'''Queen and King Thistle''': ''[screaming]''
:'''King Thistle''': What on Earth is going on?!
:'''Queen Thistle''': It's an indoor thunderstorm!
:'''King Thistle''': I wonder if they had something to do with Granny.
:''[rooster crows]''

===''Gaston's Birthday''===
:'''King Thistle''': ''[sighing happily]'' I do like a nice relaxing bath. It's good to get away from all that talk about birthdays. 
:''[King Thistle hears splashing sounds.]''
:'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': Happy Birthday, your majesty! ''[he blows a party horn]''
:'''King Thistle''': ''[screaming loudly]'' Get out of my bath, and it's not my birthday!
:'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': I know, this is a dry run.
:'''King Thistle''': Now see here, I don't want any birthday stuff.
:'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': ''[sighs]'' That's what you say every year. 
:'''King Thistle''': Look, I don't want a cake, I don't want a song, and I don't want a pirate in my bath!
:'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': So, you really don't want a party? 
:'''King Thistle''': No, I don't want a party, not this year, not next year, and not at any year. Never, no more parties!

===''The Mermaid''===
:''[Holly, Ben, Nanny Plum, Gaston and Mr. Elf heard a distant crying noise.]''
:'''Holly''': Listen, somebody's crying!
:''[It was Oceana, the mermaid, who lost her mirror, and is crying.]''
:'''Holly''': It's a girl! Hello, what are you doing in The Lake?
:'''Oceana''': I live here.
:'''Holly''': You live in The Lake?
:'''Oceana''': Yes. I'm a mermaid. ''[dives to the sea and floats back up]'' My name is Oceana.
:'''Holly''': Why were you crying?
:'''Oceana''': l've lost my mirror.
:'''Holly''': That must be the mirror Lucy found.
:'''Oceana''': And where is this Lucy?
:'''Holly''': She's a big girl, so she'll be on her way to school.

===''Ben &amp; Holly's Christmas''===
====Episode 1====
:'''Wise Old Elf''': Hello. We've come to see the Christmas trees.
:'''Father Christmas''': Ho ho ho!
:'''Man''': Hello, Father Christmas. I like the outfit. What fashion is it exactly?
:'''Father Christmas''': Uh, It's meant to be a disguise.
:'''Holly''': So many lovely Christmas trees.
:'''Woman''': Yes, pine elves are very good at growing Christmas trees.
:'''All''': And we're pine elves!
====Episode 2====
:'''King Thistle''': ''[gasps indignantly]'' ''[crossly]'' Oof, let me out….!

==Cast==
*Preston Nyman - Ben
*Sian Taylor - Holly
*Taig McNab - Gaston

==External links==
*{{imdb title|1436544|Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom}}
{{wikipedia}}
[[Category:2000s UK animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s UK animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about children]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Nick Jr. shows]]
[[Category:Flash animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Treehouse TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:UK preschool education TV shows]]</text>
      <sha1>ewna3jiu89xnj6jcnqs3npkxxkewbek</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944052</id>
      <parentid>3944051</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T22:15:37Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944052</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="8981" sha1="4q7eznva9qfql826fnebn9q8nv1wfq7" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom|Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom]]''''' (2009–2013) is a British animated children's television series aimed at children originally broadcast on Nickelodeon UK.
For the current series that aired on [[w:5 (British TV channel)|5]], see ''[[Peppa Pig]]''.

==Opening==
:'''Holly''': ''[voiceover]'' Somewhere, hidden amongst thorny brambles is a Little Kingdom of elves and fairies. Everyone who lives here is very, very small.
:'''Ben''': I'm Ben Elf.
:'''Holly''': And I'm Princess Holly. Come on, let's play!
:'''Ben''': Wait for us!
:'''Holly''': ''[voiceover]'' [[w:Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom|Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom]].

==Season 1 (2008-2011)==
===''Holly's Magic Wand''===
:'''Holly''': I'm sure I left my wand here. It's gone! ''[Holly is crying.]''
:'''Ben''': Hi, Holly.
:'''Holly''': Hi, Ben.
:'''Ben''': What's wrong?
:'''Holly''': I've lost my wand. I can't do magic anymore.
:'''Ben''': Maybe that's a good thing.
:'''Holly''': It's not funny! I'm never going to find my wand and I'll be sad forever. ''[She cries again.]''
:'''Ben''': Cheer up, Holly. I will find your wand.
:'''Holly''': How?
:'''Ben''': Elves are very good at finding things, and I'm an elf. ''[blows trumpet]''
:'''Holly''': Thanks, Ben.

===''Elf Joke Day''=== 
:'''Holly''': Hi, Ben.
:'''Ben''': Hi, Holly. I've got a new toy.
:'''Holly''': What is it?
:'''Ben''': It's a telescope. You can see things that are really far away.
:'''Holly''': Wow! Can I have a go?
:'''Ben''': ''[hands the telescope to Holly]'' Okay.
:'''Holly''': ''[holds the telescope to her eye]'' I can't see anything.
:'''Ben''': Try twisting it a bit.
:'''Holly''': ''[twists the telescope a bit]'' It still doesn't work. ''[she puts the telescope off her eye, revealing a black ring around it]''
:''[Ben starts laughing.]''
:'''Holly''': Why are you laughing, Ben?
:'''Ben''': It's a joke telescope! It gives you a black ring around your eye that makes you look really silly! Look! ''[grabs a spyglass to make Holly look at it]''
:'''Holly''': Ah! Why did you do that?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wise Old Elf''': ''[opening the door]'' Let's go and join in the fun! 
:'''Nanny Plum''': ''[screaming while breaking the toy mouse]'' Help! 
:'''Wise Old Elf''': ''[entering with Ben and Holly]'' Ho-ho-ho. Happy Elf Joke Day! 
:'''Nanny Plum''': That was not funny, Wise Old Elf.

===''Morning, Noon, and Night''===
:''[rooster crows]''
:'''Nanny Plum''': That's the cockerel crow, Princess Holly! Time for fairies to get up!

===''Betty Caterpillar''===
:'''Holly''': Look, Betty Caterpillar is sad.
:''[Betty starts crying.]''
:'''Ben''': I think she feels a bit left out. ''[Gaston the Ladybird and Bobby the Bee are having fun flying. Betty is crying again.]'' I know how to cheer her up.
:'''Holly''': Oh, good. Go on then, Ben.
:'''Ben''': Don't be sad, Betty. Flying isn't everything. Elve's can't fly, and I'm an elf. ''[blows trumpet]''
:''[Betty cries again.]''
:'''Holly''': That didn't cheer her up much. ''[Betty cries once again.]'' Maybe I can make her fly by magic.
:'''Ben''': Can you do that?
:'''Holly''': Um, I think so.

===''Picnic on the Moon''===
:'''Narrator''': (''o.s.'') Today's adventure starts... In Outer Space!
:''[The scene pans up to the moon, the title Picnic on the Moon appears.]''
:'''Ben and Holly''': (''o.s.'') Picnic on the Moon!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Nanny Plum''': That's the last straw. No water in the sea. And we can't eat food. What kind of picnic is this?
:'''Mr. Elf''': ''[shouting]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''IT'S NOT A PICNIC!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Nanny Plum''': Ok, let's go home.

==Season 2 (2011-2014)==
===''Gaston to the Rescue''===
:'''King Thistle:''' Ewww, who let this smelly ladybird in the house?!

:'''Queen Thistle:''' ''[screaming loudly]''
:'''King Thistle''': HOLLY!!!!
:'''Holly''': Yes, Daddy?
:'''King Thistle''': Please keep Gaston under control.
:'''Holly''': Sorry, Daddy.
:'''King Thistle''': We live in the castle, Gaston lives outside.
:''[Gaston is whining.]''
:'''Ben''': Never mind, Gaston. Let's all go to the great elf tree instead.
:'''Mr. Elf''': Mrs. Elf, that blueberry pie smells delicious.
:'''Mrs. Elf''': Yes, Mr. Elf. The secret is to cook it very slowly over 3 days.
:'''Ben''': Hello Mum!
:'''Holly''': Hello!
:'''Mrs. Elf''': Hello Ben, Hello Holly!
:'''Mr. Elf''': Ah, Can't he shake himself outside?
:'''Mrs. Elf''': That pie is not for you, Gaston! Now Ben, Gaston should live outside, we live inside.
:'''Ben''': Okay, Mum.
:'''Mr. Elf''': AGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!! Where's the pie gone?!
:'''Mrs. Elf''': Gaston's eating it!
:'''Holly''': We don't know it was Gaston.
:'''Ben''': It could have been someone else.
:'''Mrs. Elf''': He's the only one with pie on his face!
:'''Mr. Elf''': &lt;big&gt; ''[crossly]'' Out Gaston, I never want to see you again.&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Gaston is whining.]''
:'''Ben''': Sorry, Gaston.
:'''Holly''': You'd better go home.
:'''Mrs. Elf''': Go on, Gaston! Off you go!
:'''Queen Thistle''': Bedtime, Holly! ''[Holly sighs]'' Are you all right, darling?
:'''Holly''': I'm a bit sad. Gaston isn't allowed in our houses anymore. ''[Gaston is howling.]'' Gaston! Oh, Gaston is all wet and cold.
:'''King Thistle''': Gaston, go and make that rucket somewhere else!
:'''Holly''': Poor Gaston. ''[rooster crowing]'' Gaston!

===''Nanny's Magic Test''===
:'''Wise Old Elf''': I'm taking away your wand!
:'''Nanny Plum''': You can't do that!
:'''Wise Old Elf''': I just did.
:'''Nanny Plum''': It's an outrage! The king will be very angry!
:''[cut to the Little Castle]''
:'''King Thistle''': ''[laughing out loud]''
:'''Nanny Plum''': It's not funny!
:'''King Thistle''': You're right, it's not funny. ''[keeps laughing]''
:'''Wise Old Elf''': Nanny does not have a license, she must not do magic!
:'''King Thistle''': Yes, yes, Wise Old Elf. But maybe we can overlook it just this once as it's Nanny?

===''Dolly Plum''===
:'''Nanny Plum''': That's better.
:''[Daisy and Poppy are crying again.]''
:'''Holly''': Now the twins are crying again.

===''Daisy and Poppy Go Bananas''===
:'''Queen and King Thistle''': ''[screaming]''
:'''King Thistle''': What on Earth is going on?!
:'''Queen Thistle''': It's an indoor thunderstorm!
:'''King Thistle''': I wonder if they had something to do with Granny.
:''[rooster crows]''

===''Gaston's Birthday''===
:'''King Thistle''': ''[sighing happily]'' I do like a nice relaxing bath. It's good to get away from all that talk about birthdays. 
:''[King Thistle hears splashing sounds.]''
:'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': Happy Birthday, your majesty! ''[he blows a party horn]''
:'''King Thistle''': ''[screaming loudly]'' Get out of my bath, and it's not my birthday!
:'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': I know, this is a dry run.
:'''King Thistle''': Now see here, I don't want any birthday stuff.
:'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': ''[sighs]'' That's what you say every year. 
:'''King Thistle''': Look, I don't want a cake, I don't want a song, and I don't want a pirate in my bath!
:'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': So, you really don't want a party? 
:'''King Thistle''': No, I don't want a party, not this year, not next year, and not at any year. Never, no more parties!

===''The Mermaid''===
:''[Holly, Ben, Nanny Plum, Gaston and Mr. Elf heard a distant crying noise.]''
:'''Holly''': Listen, somebody's crying!
:''[It was Oceana, the mermaid, who lost her mirror, and is crying.]''
:'''Holly''': It's a girl! Hello, what are you doing in The Lake?
:'''Oceana''': I live here.
:'''Holly''': You live in The Lake?
:'''Oceana''': Yes. I'm a mermaid. ''[dives to the sea and floats back up]'' My name is Oceana.
:'''Holly''': Why were you crying?
:'''Oceana''': l've lost my mirror.
:'''Holly''': That must be the mirror Lucy found.
:'''Oceana''': And where is this Lucy?
:'''Holly''': She's a big girl, so she'll be on her way to school.

===''Ben &amp; Holly's Christmas''===
====Episode 1====
:'''Wise Old Elf''': Hello. We've come to see the Christmas trees.
:'''Father Christmas''': Ho ho ho!
:'''Man''': Hello, Father Christmas. I like the outfit. What fashion is it exactly?
:'''Father Christmas''': Uh, It's meant to be a disguise.
:'''Holly''': So many lovely Christmas trees.
:'''Woman''': Yes, pine elves are very good at growing Christmas trees.
:'''All''': And we're pine elves!
====Episode 2====
:'''King Thistle''': ''[gasps indignantly]'' ''[crossly]'' Oof, let me out….!

==Cast==
*Preston Nyman - Ben
*Sian Taylor - Holly
*Taig McNab - Gaston

==External links==
*{{imdb title|1436544|Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom}}
{{wikipedia}}
[[Category:2000s UK animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s UK animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about children]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Nick Jr. shows]]
[[Category:Flash animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Treehouse TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:UK preschool education TV shows]]</text>
      <sha1>4q7eznva9qfql826fnebn9q8nv1wfq7</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944053</id>
      <parentid>3944052</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T22:15:59Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Opening */</comment>
      <origin>3944053</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="8977" sha1="3ltjpxjbz0l2aj237is6incagywcljt" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom|Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom]]''''' (2009–2013) is a British animated children's television series aimed at children originally broadcast on Nickelodeon UK.
For the current series that aired on [[w:5 (British TV channel)|5]], see ''[[Peppa Pig]]''.

==Opening==
:'''Holly''': ''[voiceover]'' Somewhere, hidden amongst thorny brambles is a Little Kingdom of elves and fairies. Everyone who lives here is very, very small.
:'''Ben''': I'm Ben Elf.
:'''Holly''': I'm Princess Holly. Come on, let's play!
:'''Ben''': Wait for us!
:'''Holly''': ''[voiceover]'' [[w:Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom|Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom]].

==Season 1 (2008-2011)==
===''Holly's Magic Wand''===
:'''Holly''': I'm sure I left my wand here. It's gone! ''[Holly is crying.]''
:'''Ben''': Hi, Holly.
:'''Holly''': Hi, Ben.
:'''Ben''': What's wrong?
:'''Holly''': I've lost my wand. I can't do magic anymore.
:'''Ben''': Maybe that's a good thing.
:'''Holly''': It's not funny! I'm never going to find my wand and I'll be sad forever. ''[She cries again.]''
:'''Ben''': Cheer up, Holly. I will find your wand.
:'''Holly''': How?
:'''Ben''': Elves are very good at finding things, and I'm an elf. ''[blows trumpet]''
:'''Holly''': Thanks, Ben.

===''Elf Joke Day''=== 
:'''Holly''': Hi, Ben.
:'''Ben''': Hi, Holly. I've got a new toy.
:'''Holly''': What is it?
:'''Ben''': It's a telescope. You can see things that are really far away.
:'''Holly''': Wow! Can I have a go?
:'''Ben''': ''[hands the telescope to Holly]'' Okay.
:'''Holly''': ''[holds the telescope to her eye]'' I can't see anything.
:'''Ben''': Try twisting it a bit.
:'''Holly''': ''[twists the telescope a bit]'' It still doesn't work. ''[she puts the telescope off her eye, revealing a black ring around it]''
:''[Ben starts laughing.]''
:'''Holly''': Why are you laughing, Ben?
:'''Ben''': It's a joke telescope! It gives you a black ring around your eye that makes you look really silly! Look! ''[grabs a spyglass to make Holly look at it]''
:'''Holly''': Ah! Why did you do that?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wise Old Elf''': ''[opening the door]'' Let's go and join in the fun! 
:'''Nanny Plum''': ''[screaming while breaking the toy mouse]'' Help! 
:'''Wise Old Elf''': ''[entering with Ben and Holly]'' Ho-ho-ho. Happy Elf Joke Day! 
:'''Nanny Plum''': That was not funny, Wise Old Elf.

===''Morning, Noon, and Night''===
:''[rooster crows]''
:'''Nanny Plum''': That's the cockerel crow, Princess Holly! Time for fairies to get up!

===''Betty Caterpillar''===
:'''Holly''': Look, Betty Caterpillar is sad.
:''[Betty starts crying.]''
:'''Ben''': I think she feels a bit left out. ''[Gaston the Ladybird and Bobby the Bee are having fun flying. Betty is crying again.]'' I know how to cheer her up.
:'''Holly''': Oh, good. Go on then, Ben.
:'''Ben''': Don't be sad, Betty. Flying isn't everything. Elve's can't fly, and I'm an elf. ''[blows trumpet]''
:''[Betty cries again.]''
:'''Holly''': That didn't cheer her up much. ''[Betty cries once again.]'' Maybe I can make her fly by magic.
:'''Ben''': Can you do that?
:'''Holly''': Um, I think so.

===''Picnic on the Moon''===
:'''Narrator''': (''o.s.'') Today's adventure starts... In Outer Space!
:''[The scene pans up to the moon, the title Picnic on the Moon appears.]''
:'''Ben and Holly''': (''o.s.'') Picnic on the Moon!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Nanny Plum''': That's the last straw. No water in the sea. And we can't eat food. What kind of picnic is this?
:'''Mr. Elf''': ''[shouting]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''IT'S NOT A PICNIC!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Nanny Plum''': Ok, let's go home.

==Season 2 (2011-2014)==
===''Gaston to the Rescue''===
:'''King Thistle:''' Ewww, who let this smelly ladybird in the house?!

:'''Queen Thistle:''' ''[screaming loudly]''
:'''King Thistle''': HOLLY!!!!
:'''Holly''': Yes, Daddy?
:'''King Thistle''': Please keep Gaston under control.
:'''Holly''': Sorry, Daddy.
:'''King Thistle''': We live in the castle, Gaston lives outside.
:''[Gaston is whining.]''
:'''Ben''': Never mind, Gaston. Let's all go to the great elf tree instead.
:'''Mr. Elf''': Mrs. Elf, that blueberry pie smells delicious.
:'''Mrs. Elf''': Yes, Mr. Elf. The secret is to cook it very slowly over 3 days.
:'''Ben''': Hello Mum!
:'''Holly''': Hello!
:'''Mrs. Elf''': Hello Ben, Hello Holly!
:'''Mr. Elf''': Ah, Can't he shake himself outside?
:'''Mrs. Elf''': That pie is not for you, Gaston! Now Ben, Gaston should live outside, we live inside.
:'''Ben''': Okay, Mum.
:'''Mr. Elf''': AGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!! Where's the pie gone?!
:'''Mrs. Elf''': Gaston's eating it!
:'''Holly''': We don't know it was Gaston.
:'''Ben''': It could have been someone else.
:'''Mrs. Elf''': He's the only one with pie on his face!
:'''Mr. Elf''': &lt;big&gt; ''[crossly]'' Out Gaston, I never want to see you again.&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Gaston is whining.]''
:'''Ben''': Sorry, Gaston.
:'''Holly''': You'd better go home.
:'''Mrs. Elf''': Go on, Gaston! Off you go!
:'''Queen Thistle''': Bedtime, Holly! ''[Holly sighs]'' Are you all right, darling?
:'''Holly''': I'm a bit sad. Gaston isn't allowed in our houses anymore. ''[Gaston is howling.]'' Gaston! Oh, Gaston is all wet and cold.
:'''King Thistle''': Gaston, go and make that rucket somewhere else!
:'''Holly''': Poor Gaston. ''[rooster crowing]'' Gaston!

===''Nanny's Magic Test''===
:'''Wise Old Elf''': I'm taking away your wand!
:'''Nanny Plum''': You can't do that!
:'''Wise Old Elf''': I just did.
:'''Nanny Plum''': It's an outrage! The king will be very angry!
:''[cut to the Little Castle]''
:'''King Thistle''': ''[laughing out loud]''
:'''Nanny Plum''': It's not funny!
:'''King Thistle''': You're right, it's not funny. ''[keeps laughing]''
:'''Wise Old Elf''': Nanny does not have a license, she must not do magic!
:'''King Thistle''': Yes, yes, Wise Old Elf. But maybe we can overlook it just this once as it's Nanny?

===''Dolly Plum''===
:'''Nanny Plum''': That's better.
:''[Daisy and Poppy are crying again.]''
:'''Holly''': Now the twins are crying again.

===''Daisy and Poppy Go Bananas''===
:'''Queen and King Thistle''': ''[screaming]''
:'''King Thistle''': What on Earth is going on?!
:'''Queen Thistle''': It's an indoor thunderstorm!
:'''King Thistle''': I wonder if they had something to do with Granny.
:''[rooster crows]''

===''Gaston's Birthday''===
:'''King Thistle''': ''[sighing happily]'' I do like a nice relaxing bath. It's good to get away from all that talk about birthdays. 
:''[King Thistle hears splashing sounds.]''
:'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': Happy Birthday, your majesty! ''[he blows a party horn]''
:'''King Thistle''': ''[screaming loudly]'' Get out of my bath, and it's not my birthday!
:'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': I know, this is a dry run.
:'''King Thistle''': Now see here, I don't want any birthday stuff.
:'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': ''[sighs]'' That's what you say every year. 
:'''King Thistle''': Look, I don't want a cake, I don't want a song, and I don't want a pirate in my bath!
:'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': So, you really don't want a party? 
:'''King Thistle''': No, I don't want a party, not this year, not next year, and not at any year. Never, no more parties!

===''The Mermaid''===
:''[Holly, Ben, Nanny Plum, Gaston and Mr. Elf heard a distant crying noise.]''
:'''Holly''': Listen, somebody's crying!
:''[It was Oceana, the mermaid, who lost her mirror, and is crying.]''
:'''Holly''': It's a girl! Hello, what are you doing in The Lake?
:'''Oceana''': I live here.
:'''Holly''': You live in The Lake?
:'''Oceana''': Yes. I'm a mermaid. ''[dives to the sea and floats back up]'' My name is Oceana.
:'''Holly''': Why were you crying?
:'''Oceana''': l've lost my mirror.
:'''Holly''': That must be the mirror Lucy found.
:'''Oceana''': And where is this Lucy?
:'''Holly''': She's a big girl, so she'll be on her way to school.

===''Ben &amp; Holly's Christmas''===
====Episode 1====
:'''Wise Old Elf''': Hello. We've come to see the Christmas trees.
:'''Father Christmas''': Ho ho ho!
:'''Man''': Hello, Father Christmas. I like the outfit. What fashion is it exactly?
:'''Father Christmas''': Uh, It's meant to be a disguise.
:'''Holly''': So many lovely Christmas trees.
:'''Woman''': Yes, pine elves are very good at growing Christmas trees.
:'''All''': And we're pine elves!
====Episode 2====
:'''King Thistle''': ''[gasps indignantly]'' ''[crossly]'' Oof, let me out….!

==Cast==
*Preston Nyman - Ben
*Sian Taylor - Holly
*Taig McNab - Gaston

==External links==
*{{imdb title|1436544|Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom}}
{{wikipedia}}
[[Category:2000s UK animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s UK animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about children]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Nick Jr. shows]]
[[Category:Flash animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Treehouse TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:UK preschool education TV shows]]</text>
      <sha1>3ltjpxjbz0l2aj237is6incagywcljt</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944054</id>
      <parentid>3944053</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T22:19:11Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944054</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="8973" sha1="5kbesjgy790ckmou9ug09aj0zrwvoen" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom|Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom]]''''' (2008–2014) is a British animated children's television series aimed at children, originally broadcast on Nickelodeon UK.
For the current series that aired on [[w:5 (British TV channel)|5]], see ''[[Peppa Pig]]''.

==Opening==
:'''Holly''': ''[voiceover]'' Somewhere, hidden amongst thorny brambles is a Little Kingdom of elves and fairies. Everyone who lives here is very, very small.
:'''Ben''': I'm Ben Elf.
:'''Holly''': I'm Princess Holly. Come on, let's play!
:'''Ben''': Wait for us!
:'''Holly''': ''[voiceover]'' [[w:Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom|Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom]].

==Season 1 (2008-2011)==
===''Holly's Magic Wand''===
:'''Holly''': I'm sure I left my wand here. It's gone! ''[Holly is crying.]''
:'''Ben''': Hi, Holly.
:'''Holly''': Hi, Ben.
:'''Ben''': What's wrong?
:'''Holly''': I've lost my wand. I can't do magic anymore.
:'''Ben''': Maybe that's a good thing.
:'''Holly''': It's not funny! I'm never going to find my wand and I'll be sad forever. ''[She cries again.]''
:'''Ben''': Cheer up, Holly. I will find your wand.
:'''Holly''': How?
:'''Ben''': Elves are very good at finding things, and I'm an elf. ''[blows trumpet]''
:'''Holly''': Thanks, Ben.

===''Elf Joke Day''=== 
:'''Holly''': Hi, Ben.
:'''Ben''': Hi, Holly. I've got a new toy.
:'''Holly''': What is it?
:'''Ben''': It's a telescope. You can see things that are really far away.
:'''Holly''': Wow! Can I have a go?
:'''Ben''': ''[hands the telescope to Holly]'' Okay.
:'''Holly''': ''[holds the telescope to her eye]'' I can't see anything.
:'''Ben''': Try twisting it a bit.
:'''Holly''': ''[twists the telescope a bit]'' It still doesn't work. ''[she puts the telescope off her eye, revealing a black ring around it]''
:''[Ben starts laughing.]''
:'''Holly''': Why are you laughing, Ben?
:'''Ben''': It's a joke telescope! It gives you a black ring around your eye that makes you look really silly! Look! ''[grabs a spyglass to make Holly look at it]''
:'''Holly''': Ah! Why did you do that?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wise Old Elf''': ''[opening the door]'' Let's go and join in the fun! 
:'''Nanny Plum''': ''[screaming while breaking the toy mouse]'' Help! 
:'''Wise Old Elf''': ''[entering with Ben and Holly]'' Ho-ho-ho. Happy Elf Joke Day! 
:'''Nanny Plum''': That was not funny, Wise Old Elf.

===''Morning, Noon, and Night''===
:''[rooster crows]''
:'''Nanny Plum''': That's the cockerel crow, Princess Holly! Time for fairies to get up!

===''Betty Caterpillar''===
:'''Holly''': Look, Betty Caterpillar is sad.
:''[Betty starts crying.]''
:'''Ben''': I think she feels a bit left out. ''[Gaston the Ladybird and Bobby the Bee are having fun flying. Betty is crying again.]'' I know how to cheer her up.
:'''Holly''': Oh, good. Go on then, Ben.
:'''Ben''': Don't be sad, Betty. Flying isn't everything. Elve's can't fly, and I'm an elf. ''[blows trumpet]''
:''[Betty cries again.]''
:'''Holly''': That didn't cheer her up much. ''[Betty cries once again.]'' Maybe I can make her fly by magic.
:'''Ben''': Can you do that?
:'''Holly''': Um, I think so.

===''Picnic on the Moon''===
:'''Ben''': (''o.s.'') Today's adventure starts... In Outer Space!
:''[The scene pans up to the moon, the title Picnic on the Moon appears.]''
:'''Ben and Holly''': (''o.s.'') Picnic on the Moon!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Nanny Plum''': That's the last straw. No water in the sea. And we can't eat food. What kind of picnic is this?
:'''Mr. Elf''': ''[shouting]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''IT'S NOT A PICNIC!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Nanny Plum''': Ok, let's go home.

==Season 2 (2011-2014)==
===''Gaston to the Rescue''===
:'''King Thistle:''' Ewww, who let this smelly ladybird in the house?!

:'''Queen Thistle:''' ''[screaming loudly]''
:'''King Thistle''': HOLLY!!!!
:'''Holly''': Yes, Daddy?
:'''King Thistle''': Please keep Gaston under control.
:'''Holly''': Sorry, Daddy.
:'''King Thistle''': We live in the castle, Gaston lives outside.
:''[Gaston is whining.]''
:'''Ben''': Never mind, Gaston. Let's all go to the great elf tree instead.
:'''Mr. Elf''': Mrs. Elf, that blueberry pie smells delicious.
:'''Mrs. Elf''': Yes, Mr. Elf. The secret is to cook it very slowly over 3 days.
:'''Ben''': Hello Mum!
:'''Holly''': Hello!
:'''Mrs. Elf''': Hello Ben, Hello Holly!
:'''Mr. Elf''': Ah, Can't he shake himself outside?
:'''Mrs. Elf''': That pie is not for you, Gaston! Now Ben, Gaston should live outside, we live inside.
:'''Ben''': Okay, Mum.
:'''Mr. Elf''': AGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!! Where's the pie gone?!
:'''Mrs. Elf''': Gaston's eating it!
:'''Holly''': We don't know it was Gaston.
:'''Ben''': It could have been someone else.
:'''Mrs. Elf''': He's the only one with pie on his face!
:'''Mr. Elf''': &lt;big&gt; ''[crossly]'' Out Gaston, I never want to see you again.&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Gaston is whining.]''
:'''Ben''': Sorry, Gaston.
:'''Holly''': You'd better go home.
:'''Mrs. Elf''': Go on, Gaston! Off you go!
:'''Queen Thistle''': Bedtime, Holly! ''[Holly sighs]'' Are you all right, darling?
:'''Holly''': I'm a bit sad. Gaston isn't allowed in our houses anymore. ''[Gaston is howling.]'' Gaston! Oh, Gaston is all wet and cold.
:'''King Thistle''': Gaston, go and make that rucket somewhere else!
:'''Holly''': Poor Gaston. ''[rooster crowing]'' Gaston!

===''Nanny's Magic Test''===
:'''Wise Old Elf''': I'm taking away your wand!
:'''Nanny Plum''': You can't do that!
:'''Wise Old Elf''': I just did.
:'''Nanny Plum''': It's an outrage! The king will be very angry!
:''[cut to the Little Castle]''
:'''King Thistle''': ''[laughing out loud]''
:'''Nanny Plum''': It's not funny!
:'''King Thistle''': You're right, it's not funny. ''[keeps laughing]''
:'''Wise Old Elf''': Nanny does not have a license, she must not do magic!
:'''King Thistle''': Yes, yes, Wise Old Elf. But maybe we can overlook it just this once as it's Nanny?

===''Dolly Plum''===
:'''Nanny Plum''': That's better.
:''[Daisy and Poppy are crying again.]''
:'''Holly''': Now the twins are crying again.

===''Daisy and Poppy Go Bananas''===
:'''Queen and King Thistle''': ''[screaming]''
:'''King Thistle''': What on Earth is going on?!
:'''Queen Thistle''': It's an indoor thunderstorm!
:'''King Thistle''': I wonder if they had something to do with Granny.
:''[rooster crows]''

===''Gaston's Birthday''===
:'''King Thistle''': ''[sighing happily]'' I do like a nice relaxing bath. It's good to get away from all that talk about birthdays. 
:''[King Thistle hears splashing sounds.]''
:'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': Happy Birthday, your majesty! ''[he blows a party horn]''
:'''King Thistle''': ''[screaming loudly]'' Get out of my bath, and it's not my birthday!
:'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': I know, this is a dry run.
:'''King Thistle''': Now see here, I don't want any birthday stuff.
:'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': ''[sighs]'' That's what you say every year. 
:'''King Thistle''': Look, I don't want a cake, I don't want a song, and I don't want a pirate in my bath!
:'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': So, you really don't want a party? 
:'''King Thistle''': No, I don't want a party, not this year, not next year, and not at any year. Never, no more parties!

===''The Mermaid''===
:''[Holly, Ben, Nanny Plum, Gaston and Mr. Elf heard a distant crying noise.]''
:'''Holly''': Listen, somebody's crying!
:''[It was Oceana, the mermaid, who lost her mirror, and is crying.]''
:'''Holly''': It's a girl! Hello, what are you doing in The Lake?
:'''Oceana''': I live here.
:'''Holly''': You live in The Lake?
:'''Oceana''': Yes. I'm a mermaid. ''[dives to the sea and floats back up]'' My name is Oceana.
:'''Holly''': Why were you crying?
:'''Oceana''': l've lost my mirror.
:'''Holly''': That must be the mirror Lucy found.
:'''Oceana''': And where is this Lucy?
:'''Holly''': She's a big girl, so she'll be on her way to school.

===''Ben &amp; Holly's Christmas''===
====Episode 1====
:'''Wise Old Elf''': Hello. We've come to see the Christmas trees.
:'''Father Christmas''': Ho ho ho!
:'''Man''': Hello, Father Christmas. I like the outfit. What fashion is it exactly?
:'''Father Christmas''': Uh, It's meant to be a disguise.
:'''Holly''': So many lovely Christmas trees.
:'''Woman''': Yes, pine elves are very good at growing Christmas trees.
:'''All''': And we're pine elves!
====Episode 2====
:'''King Thistle''': ''[gasps indignantly]'' ''[crossly]'' Oof, let me out….!

==Cast==
*Preston Nyman - Ben
*Sian Taylor - Holly
*Taig McNab - Gaston

==External links==
*{{imdb title|1436544|Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom}}
{{wikipedia}}
[[Category:2000s UK animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s UK animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about children]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Nick Jr. shows]]
[[Category:Flash animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Treehouse TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:UK preschool education TV shows]]</text>
      <sha1>5kbesjgy790ckmou9ug09aj0zrwvoen</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944055</id>
      <parentid>3944054</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T22:19:56Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944055</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="8988" sha1="8v2rsldcsvbeh3eiq5yydoeuxm2fxha" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom|Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom]]''''' (2008–2014) is a British animated preschool educational television series aimed at preschoolers, originally broadcast on Nickelodeon UK.
For the current series that aired on [[w:5 (British TV channel)|5]], see ''[[Peppa Pig]]''.

==Opening==
:'''Holly''': ''[voiceover]'' Somewhere, hidden amongst thorny brambles is a Little Kingdom of elves and fairies. Everyone who lives here is very, very small.
:'''Ben''': I'm Ben Elf.
:'''Holly''': I'm Princess Holly. Come on, let's play!
:'''Ben''': Wait for us!
:'''Holly''': ''[voiceover]'' [[w:Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom|Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom]].

==Season 1 (2008-2011)==
===''Holly's Magic Wand''===
:'''Holly''': I'm sure I left my wand here. It's gone! ''[Holly is crying.]''
:'''Ben''': Hi, Holly.
:'''Holly''': Hi, Ben.
:'''Ben''': What's wrong?
:'''Holly''': I've lost my wand. I can't do magic anymore.
:'''Ben''': Maybe that's a good thing.
:'''Holly''': It's not funny! I'm never going to find my wand and I'll be sad forever. ''[She cries again.]''
:'''Ben''': Cheer up, Holly. I will find your wand.
:'''Holly''': How?
:'''Ben''': Elves are very good at finding things, and I'm an elf. ''[blows trumpet]''
:'''Holly''': Thanks, Ben.

===''Elf Joke Day''=== 
:'''Holly''': Hi, Ben.
:'''Ben''': Hi, Holly. I've got a new toy.
:'''Holly''': What is it?
:'''Ben''': It's a telescope. You can see things that are really far away.
:'''Holly''': Wow! Can I have a go?
:'''Ben''': ''[hands the telescope to Holly]'' Okay.
:'''Holly''': ''[holds the telescope to her eye]'' I can't see anything.
:'''Ben''': Try twisting it a bit.
:'''Holly''': ''[twists the telescope a bit]'' It still doesn't work. ''[she puts the telescope off her eye, revealing a black ring around it]''
:''[Ben starts laughing.]''
:'''Holly''': Why are you laughing, Ben?
:'''Ben''': It's a joke telescope! It gives you a black ring around your eye that makes you look really silly! Look! ''[grabs a spyglass to make Holly look at it]''
:'''Holly''': Ah! Why did you do that?
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wise Old Elf''': ''[opening the door]'' Let's go and join in the fun! 
:'''Nanny Plum''': ''[screaming while breaking the toy mouse]'' Help! 
:'''Wise Old Elf''': ''[entering with Ben and Holly]'' Ho-ho-ho. Happy Elf Joke Day! 
:'''Nanny Plum''': That was not funny, Wise Old Elf.

===''Morning, Noon, and Night''===
:''[rooster crows]''
:'''Nanny Plum''': That's the cockerel crow, Princess Holly! Time for fairies to get up!

===''Betty Caterpillar''===
:'''Holly''': Look, Betty Caterpillar is sad.
:''[Betty starts crying.]''
:'''Ben''': I think she feels a bit left out. ''[Gaston the Ladybird and Bobby the Bee are having fun flying. Betty is crying again.]'' I know how to cheer her up.
:'''Holly''': Oh, good. Go on then, Ben.
:'''Ben''': Don't be sad, Betty. Flying isn't everything. Elve's can't fly, and I'm an elf. ''[blows trumpet]''
:''[Betty cries again.]''
:'''Holly''': That didn't cheer her up much. ''[Betty cries once again.]'' Maybe I can make her fly by magic.
:'''Ben''': Can you do that?
:'''Holly''': Um, I think so.

===''Picnic on the Moon''===
:'''Ben''': (''o.s.'') Today's adventure starts... In Outer Space!
:''[The scene pans up to the moon, the title Picnic on the Moon appears.]''
:'''Ben and Holly''': (''o.s.'') Picnic on the Moon!
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Nanny Plum''': That's the last straw. No water in the sea. And we can't eat food. What kind of picnic is this?
:'''Mr. Elf''': ''[shouting]'' &lt;big&gt;'''''IT'S NOT A PICNIC!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Nanny Plum''': Ok, let's go home.

==Season 2 (2011-2014)==
===''Gaston to the Rescue''===
:'''King Thistle:''' Ewww, who let this smelly ladybird in the house?!

:'''Queen Thistle:''' ''[screaming loudly]''
:'''King Thistle''': HOLLY!!!!
:'''Holly''': Yes, Daddy?
:'''King Thistle''': Please keep Gaston under control.
:'''Holly''': Sorry, Daddy.
:'''King Thistle''': We live in the castle, Gaston lives outside.
:''[Gaston is whining.]''
:'''Ben''': Never mind, Gaston. Let's all go to the great elf tree instead.
:'''Mr. Elf''': Mrs. Elf, that blueberry pie smells delicious.
:'''Mrs. Elf''': Yes, Mr. Elf. The secret is to cook it very slowly over 3 days.
:'''Ben''': Hello Mum!
:'''Holly''': Hello!
:'''Mrs. Elf''': Hello Ben, Hello Holly!
:'''Mr. Elf''': Ah, Can't he shake himself outside?
:'''Mrs. Elf''': That pie is not for you, Gaston! Now Ben, Gaston should live outside, we live inside.
:'''Ben''': Okay, Mum.
:'''Mr. Elf''': AGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!! Where's the pie gone?!
:'''Mrs. Elf''': Gaston's eating it!
:'''Holly''': We don't know it was Gaston.
:'''Ben''': It could have been someone else.
:'''Mrs. Elf''': He's the only one with pie on his face!
:'''Mr. Elf''': &lt;big&gt; ''[crossly]'' Out Gaston, I never want to see you again.&lt;/big&gt;
:''[Gaston is whining.]''
:'''Ben''': Sorry, Gaston.
:'''Holly''': You'd better go home.
:'''Mrs. Elf''': Go on, Gaston! Off you go!
:'''Queen Thistle''': Bedtime, Holly! ''[Holly sighs]'' Are you all right, darling?
:'''Holly''': I'm a bit sad. Gaston isn't allowed in our houses anymore. ''[Gaston is howling.]'' Gaston! Oh, Gaston is all wet and cold.
:'''King Thistle''': Gaston, go and make that rucket somewhere else!
:'''Holly''': Poor Gaston. ''[rooster crowing]'' Gaston!

===''Nanny's Magic Test''===
:'''Wise Old Elf''': I'm taking away your wand!
:'''Nanny Plum''': You can't do that!
:'''Wise Old Elf''': I just did.
:'''Nanny Plum''': It's an outrage! The king will be very angry!
:''[cut to the Little Castle]''
:'''King Thistle''': ''[laughing out loud]''
:'''Nanny Plum''': It's not funny!
:'''King Thistle''': You're right, it's not funny. ''[keeps laughing]''
:'''Wise Old Elf''': Nanny does not have a license, she must not do magic!
:'''King Thistle''': Yes, yes, Wise Old Elf. But maybe we can overlook it just this once as it's Nanny?

===''Dolly Plum''===
:'''Nanny Plum''': That's better.
:''[Daisy and Poppy are crying again.]''
:'''Holly''': Now the twins are crying again.

===''Daisy and Poppy Go Bananas''===
:'''Queen and King Thistle''': ''[screaming]''
:'''King Thistle''': What on Earth is going on?!
:'''Queen Thistle''': It's an indoor thunderstorm!
:'''King Thistle''': I wonder if they had something to do with Granny.
:''[rooster crows]''

===''Gaston's Birthday''===
:'''King Thistle''': ''[sighing happily]'' I do like a nice relaxing bath. It's good to get away from all that talk about birthdays. 
:''[King Thistle hears splashing sounds.]''
:'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': Happy Birthday, your majesty! ''[he blows a party horn]''
:'''King Thistle''': ''[screaming loudly]'' Get out of my bath, and it's not my birthday!
:'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': I know, this is a dry run.
:'''King Thistle''': Now see here, I don't want any birthday stuff.
:'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': ''[sighs]'' That's what you say every year. 
:'''King Thistle''': Look, I don't want a cake, I don't want a song, and I don't want a pirate in my bath!
:'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': So, you really don't want a party? 
:'''King Thistle''': No, I don't want a party, not this year, not next year, and not at any year. Never, no more parties!

===''The Mermaid''===
:''[Holly, Ben, Nanny Plum, Gaston and Mr. Elf heard a distant crying noise.]''
:'''Holly''': Listen, somebody's crying!
:''[It was Oceana, the mermaid, who lost her mirror, and is crying.]''
:'''Holly''': It's a girl! Hello, what are you doing in The Lake?
:'''Oceana''': I live here.
:'''Holly''': You live in The Lake?
:'''Oceana''': Yes. I'm a mermaid. ''[dives to the sea and floats back up]'' My name is Oceana.
:'''Holly''': Why were you crying?
:'''Oceana''': l've lost my mirror.
:'''Holly''': That must be the mirror Lucy found.
:'''Oceana''': And where is this Lucy?
:'''Holly''': She's a big girl, so she'll be on her way to school.

===''Ben &amp; Holly's Christmas''===
====Episode 1====
:'''Wise Old Elf''': Hello. We've come to see the Christmas trees.
:'''Father Christmas''': Ho ho ho!
:'''Man''': Hello, Father Christmas. I like the outfit. What fashion is it exactly?
:'''Father Christmas''': Uh, It's meant to be a disguise.
:'''Holly''': So many lovely Christmas trees.
:'''Woman''': Yes, pine elves are very good at growing Christmas trees.
:'''All''': And we're pine elves!
====Episode 2====
:'''King Thistle''': ''[gasps indignantly]'' ''[crossly]'' Oof, let me out….!

==Cast==
*Preston Nyman - Ben
*Sian Taylor - Holly
*Taig McNab - Gaston

==External links==
*{{imdb title|1436544|Ben &amp; Holly's Little Kingdom}}
{{wikipedia}}
[[Category:2000s UK animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2010s UK animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about children]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Nick Jr. shows]]
[[Category:Flash animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Treehouse TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:UK children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:UK preschool education TV shows]]</text>
      <sha1>8v2rsldcsvbeh3eiq5yydoeuxm2fxha</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Sagwa, the Chinese Siamese Cat</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>231718</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943996</id>
      <parentid>3937039</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T17:30:30Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943996</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="21177" sha1="5occc9e6myz11uamvl4m6ltkdo6fn33" xml:space="preserve">{{cleanup}}
{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|Sagwa, the Chinese Siamese Cat}}''''' is an [[United States|American]]/[[Canada|Canadian]]/[[Quebec|Quebecois]]/[[China|Chinese]] [[PBS]], [[w:Sesame Workshop|Sesame Workshop]], and [[w:CinéGroupe|CinéGroupe]] animated television series based on the children's book of the same name, centering on a cat residing in a Chinese palace. The show was aimed at older children in middle school ages, and from ages 4 to 11.

==Episodes==

===''How Sagwa Got Her Colors'' [1.01]===

===''The New Year's Clean-Up / Firefly Nights'' [1.02]===

===''Royal Cats / Acrobat Cats'' [1.03]===

===''Tung, the Singing Cricket / Sagwa's Lucky Bat'' [1.04]===

===''Cat Burglar / Sagwa's Good Deed'' [1.05]===

:''[Sagwa was late for dinner even though she had promised to be on time. The scene cuts to Sagwa in the kitchen. Mama Miao and Baba Miao are angry and disappointed because Sagwa broke her promise. And Mama Miao --angrily-- says...!]''
:'''Mama Miao''': (Well, young lady?!) There you are!
:'''Sagwa''': Where are the others?
:'''Mama Miao''': They (Dongwa and Sheegwa) were on time for dinner! So they had finished eating! 
:'''Mama Miao''': As I recall, you promised to be on time for dinner! But since you broke your promise, you eat what is left! Plain rice!
:'''Sagwa''': ''[flustered]'' '''PLAIN RICE!? THAT IS IT!?'''
:'''Mama Miao''': Well!? If you were on time, you could have had steamed fish and bok choy! Now eat your dinner!

===''Harvest Festival Race / The Foolish Magistrate's New Robes'' [1.06]===

:''[Dongwa is not pleased that he gave up his snack for their grandparents' anniversary special]''
:'''Sagwa''': What a disaster...
:'''Dongwa''': Yeah, all that wasted shrimp.

===''Fur Cut / Magistrate Loses His Post'' [1.07]===

:'''Baba''': Oh, no need dear. I've-I've already attended to my grooming. 
:''[Pan on Baba's messy back, with Sheegwa laughing.]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Sagwa''': ''[about her fur cut]'' '''I HAVE ESCAPED GREAT DANGER! I AM LUCKY TO HAVE ANY FUR LEFT AFTER WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH!'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Dongwa''': What? Rain spirit dragons don't spit fire.
:'''Sagwa''': Well this one did!

===''Tribal Cats / Sagwa's Swan Song'' [1.08]===

===''Cat and Mouse / Stinky Tofu'' [1.09]===

===''The Foolish Magistrate's Aching Tooth / Sheegwa and the Blizzard'' [1.10]===

:'''Fu-Fu''': Me?! You go after him!
:'''Dongwa''': Oh no, you go. I'll wait here so I can pounce on him when he comes out. ''[headbutts Fu-Fu towards the room and laughing slyly]'' Works every time.

===''By the Light of the Moon / Treasure Hunters'' [1.11]===

===''Fraidy Cats / The Tortoise and the Cat'' [1.12]===

===''Alley Night Opera / Cats of a Different Class'' [1.13]===

===''Sagwa, Fu-Fu and the Whistling Pigeon / Princess Sheegwa'' [1.14]===

===''Sagwa Rules / Ciao, Meow!'' [1.15]===

:'''Sheegwa''': ''[to Jet-Jet]'' '''HUNTING?!''' But...! ''[Insert gibberish words here]''...!
:''[Dongwa sneaks behind Sheegwa. Then he --as if also picking on Sheegwa-- puts his paws/hands over his sister's nose and mouth/lips to get her to be quiet. Sheegwa --in reaction-- sulks sadly because her brother Dongwa has his paws/hands over her nose and mouth/lips.]''
:'''Jet-Jet''': ''[turns to Dongwa]'' '''SHOULDN'T YOU ALL BE BACK IN THE PALACE...?! ...AND RAIDING CHERRY BLOSSOMS IN YOUR HAIR!?'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[Dongwa, Sagwa, and Sheegwa are all soaked because Sheegwa had disobeyed the rules. Dongwa and Sagwa glare at Sheegwa for disobeying the rule about the alley walls. The scene first cuts to Sagwa. Dongwa and Sagwa are glaring at Sheegwa. Then Sagwa, she says to Sheegwa...!]''
:'''Sagwa''': '''SHEEGWA? WHAT (ON EARTH) WERE YOU THINKING!? YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED ON THE ALLEY WALLS!'''
:''[The scene cuts to Sheegwa --who is soaked.]'' 
:'''Sheegwa''': I am sorry. 
:''[Sheegwa --after saying this-- is too stuffy to talk. That is, as she sneezes instead.]''
:'''Sheegwa''': ''[sneezes]'' Ah-choo!
:''[Sheegwa --from the cold water in the pond-- her nose and sinuses hurt too. The scene cuts to Sagwa. Sagwa holds back anger and becomes concerned about Sheegwa's cold. Sheegwa, she has a cold. In fact, all the kittens --Dongwa, Sagwa, and Sheegwa-- are soaked and have colds.]''
:'''Sagwa''': ''[she --Sagwa-- also has a cold]'' We have to get her inside. She is catching a cold. 
:''[The scene cuts back to the palace. And the kittens --Dongwa, Sagwa, and Sheegwa-- enter the palace with colds and all three of them sneezing. And it was from the pond when Sheegwa fell into the pond from the alley wall and her two older siblings --Dongwa and Sagwa-- tried to rescue them but got themselves cold and wet in the pond too.]''
:'''Sheegwa''': ''[sneezes a big sneeze]'' '''AH-CHOO!'''
:'''Sagwa''': ''[in between sneezes]'' Shh! Sheegwa? Mama cannot see us like this.
:''[Mama Miao sees the kittens having colds --which was from getting cold and wet in the pond-- and becomes concerned about this.]''
:'''Mama Miao''': ''[to the kittens]'' Oh my poor dears! What happened?
:'''Sheegwa''': ''[in between sneezes]'' It is all my fault I should not have climbed on the alley wa...wa...! ''[sneezes an even bigger sneeze]''...walls.
:'''Mama Miao''': Let's get you (three) all dried up and to bed.

===''Explorer's Club / Time for Everything'' [1.16]===

:'''Baba''': ''[to Mama]'' '''DONGWA KNOWS HOW IMPORTANT THIS DAY IS! HE HAS BEEN TRAINING FOR WEEKS!'''
:''[Before the scribing week.]''
:'''The Foolish Magistrate''': ''[to Mama Miao and Baba Miao]'' '''I HOPE YOU CATS ARE READY TO WRITE! BECAUSE I HAVE A LOT OF RULES! RULE NUMBER 1: THERE IS GOING TO BE NO FISHING ON FRIDAYS!''' 
:''[Mama Miao and Baba Miao look at each other. The Foolish Magistrate continues his rules.]''
:'''The Foolish Magistrate''': '''AS I WAS SAYING...! RULE NUMBER 2: THERE IS GOING TO BE NO BASKET WEAVING ON TUESDAYS! (AND RULE NUMBER 3: ON TUESDAYS AND FRIDAYS, EVERYONE IN THIS PALACE IS GOING TO BE SCRIBES!)'''
:''[Baba Miao angrily glares at the &quot;no anything&quot; rules from the Foolish Magistrate. Since it scribe season, the entire cat family is going to be scribes. So --for the whole scribe season-- there is no fishing on Fridays nor basket weaving on Tuesdays. All activities --including fishing on Fridays and basket weaving on Tuesdays-- are going to be in recess until scribe season is over. Scribe season is going to be on Tuesdays and Fridays. In the meantime, the scene goes back to Baba Miao. Baba Miao turns to Mama Miao and says...!]''
:'''Baba''': ''[to Mama Miao]'' '''CAN YOU STALL?! I AM GOING THERE! AND I AM GOING TO SEE WHAT WAS SO SPECIAL THAT DONGWA WOULD MISS AN IMPORTANT RITUAL!'''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Baba''': ''[to Dongwa]'' '''YOU ARE LETTING YOUR SISTER DO YOUR WORK!?'''
:'''Dongwa''': I ya...! I err...!
:'''Baba''': ''[turning to Sagwa]'' '''AND YOU! YOU ARE HELPING YOUR BROTHER TO DECEIVE ME! THAT IS NOT LIKE YOU! 
:''[Baba turns back to both Dongwa and Sagwa and chews them out for Sagwa helping her brother to deceive him and Dongwa making his sister Sagwa do his work.]''
:'''Baba''': ''[then to both the kittens --Dongwa and Sagwa]'' '''WHAT DO YOU TWO HAVE TO SAY TO YOURSELVES?'''
:''[Dongwa and Sagwa are shocked into silence. And they do not have an answer at the moment. Baba is not pleased.]''
:'''Baba''': ''[to Dongwa]'' '''WELL DONGWA? UNLESS YOU CAN COME UP WITH AN EXPLANATION ABOUT THIS, YOU ARE BOTH CONFINED TO YOUR QUARTERS (FOR A WEEK)!'''
:''[Baba Miao asks Dongwa and Sagwa what they both say for themselves. And when they --Dongwa and Sagwa-- do not have an answer, he --Baba Miao-- tells both of them that they are confined to their quarters for a week until one of them comes up with an explanation for this.  Dongwa tries to argue back.]''
:'''Dongwa''': But Baba...! Tomorrow is the...!
:'''Baba''': '''AND THAT IS FINAL! (NOW BACK TO YOUR SCROLLS AND NO MORE MAKING SAGWA DO IT!)'''
:''[By the saying of Baba, Dongwa is confined to his quarters for a week. And when Baba says, &quot;AND THAT IS FINAL!&quot;, he threatens to take away the outside privileges on both his and Sagwa's and confine them both to their quarters for a year, a decade, a century, or a millennium. In the spite of that, Dongwa complies and resumes back to his Chinese writing on his scrolls.]''

===''Comic Opera / Not-So-Purrfect Patient'' [1.17]===

:'''Sheegwa''': Are you all right, Dongwa?
:'''Dongwa''': I don't know.
:'''Sagwa''': Don't move. Sheegwa, go, get Mama. Quick!
:'''Sheegwa''': I like the way cook wrapped your paw. Does it hurt?
:'''Dongwa''': A little.
:'''Mama''': It's just a little.
:'''Dongwa''': All right. Thanks, Mama.
:'''Sagwa''': I'm sorry. It's all my fault.
:'''Dongwa''': What?
:'''Sagwa''': If I hadn't moved out of the way. You wouldn't have crashed into the barrel.
:'''Dongwa''': That's true.
:'''Sagwa''': Can I do anything to make you feel better?
:'''Dongwa''': Well, I am little hungry. I think I saw cook putting away some leftover shrimp last night.

===''Panda-monium / Festival of Lanterns'' [1.18]===

===''Snagged by a Thread / Master of Mistakes'' [1.19]===

:''[When Sheegwa becomes a scribe, her stubby tail makes the Chinese character --on the Chinese scroll-- sloppy.]''
:'''Sheegwa''': ''[to her stubby tail]'' '''WHY CAN YOU NOT BE MORE LIKE SAGWA'S TAIL!?'''

:'''NOTE''': On [[w:KCTS-TV|KCTS 9]], &quot;Master of Mistakes&quot; was the first segment and &quot;Snagged by a Thread&quot; was the second. But in reality, &quot;Snagged by a Thread&quot; was the first segment and &quot;Master of Mistakes&quot; the second. They never fixed it.

===''Collar of Time / The Birds, the Bees, and the Silkworms'' [1.20]===

===''Dongwa the Sailor / Invention by Mistake'' [1.21]===

===''Cool Fu-Fu / A New Cook in the Kitchen'' [1.22]===

===''Tough Guy Dongwa / The Competition'' [1.23]===

===''Precious Gift / Lord of the Fleas'' [1.24]===

:''[Sheegwa --in the spite of the fact that the jade on Tai-Tai's jade necklace got broken-- is forced to return the jade necklace to Tai-Tai. That is, as the scene cuts to the Magistrate and Tai-Tai's room. Tai-Tai --on the other hand-- unnoticed at first, she is seen at her dressing mirror.]''
:'''Sheegwa''': But...! But...!
:'''Sagwa''': There really are no &quot;buts&quot;! It is hers (Tai-Tai's). I know it is hard, Sheegwa. You can do it. 
:'''Sheegwa''': ''[thinking]'' Maybe I should leave it here. Then Tai-Tai would not notice that I broke it. 
:''[After a few seconds.]''
:'''Sheegwa''': ''[thinking]'' No. It is my job to make sure that she gets it back. Broken or not, it is hers.
:''[Sheegwa lets out a &quot;meow&quot; to get Tai-Tai's attention. Despite the fact that the jade on Tai-Tai's jade necklace is broken, Sheegwa's thought is she should still give back Tai-Tai her jade necklace. Not only that, but she must also tell Tai-Tai the truth. That is, even if the necklace broken makes her --Tai-Tai-- upset. Because no one likes being fooled.]''
:'''Tai-Tai''': My necklace! 
:''[Tai-Tai she leans down and sees her necklace. Then she feels touched when Sheegwa brings back her jade necklace.]'' 
:'''Tai-Tai''': My necklace! My necklace is found! 
:''[She looks at her jade necklace. And she notices that it is now broken in half beyond repair. That is, the jade --green gemstone/jewel-- on her necklace. Sheegwa also tells Tai-Tai the truth and apologizes to her.]'' 
:'''Tai-Tai''':  ''[continues looking at the necklace]'' (That is okay, Sheegwa.) It might no longer be whole. But even a piece of it brings back many of the memories it whispers to me.
:''[Finally, she reveals her now-half necklace --the now-half jade on her necklace-- and it shows a flashback of Tai-Tai as a young child with her father. It is true. Even though her jade necklace might not be in one piece, even only part of it brings her back the memories it whispers to her. That is, according to her saying.]''
:'''Tai-Tai''': Thank you, Sheegwa.
:''[She happily nods. Then Tai-Tai puts the jade necklace back in the treasure chest.]''

===''My Fair Kitty / The Favorite'' [1.25]===

===''Luck be a Bat / Tea for Two Monkeys'' [1.26]===
:'''Sagwa''': Can't you fit through the bars?
:'''Fu-Fu''': ''[opens robe, reveals Balloon Belly]'' Nah, too many dumplings.

===''Sagwa the Stray / And Action'' [1.27]===

===''Ba-Do and the Lantern Festival / Fu-Fu's Full Moon Flight'' [1.28]===

===''Wedding Day Mess / A Catfish Tale'' [1.29]===

===''Up, Up and Away / Spreading Rumors'' [1.30]===

===''The Jade Rabbit / Dongwa's Best Friend'' [1.31]===

===''The Zodiac Zoo / The Four Dragons'' [1.32]===

===''Lost and Found / Three Graces'' [1.33]===

===''All Grown Up/The Cat and the Wind'' [1.34]===

:''[The scene takes place in the attic. Sagwa and Dongwa are setting up an old kite. The kite --which the viewers see-- is depicted as a dragonfly.]''
:'''Sheegwa''': I really wish that Baba would take us to that treasure hunt. Should we ask again?
:'''Dongwa''': Not now. We are fixing this old kite. You want to watch us fly it? 
:''[Sheegwa gets jealous because she never gets to spend time with her siblings --Dongwa and Sagwa-- or any of the big Siamese cat children. And she --Sheegwa-- says...!]'' 
:'''Sheegwa''': ''[to Dongwa and Sheegwa]'' I always have to watch! Why can I not hold the string?
:'''Sagwa''': ''[tauntingly]'' You are too little, silly! 
:''[Sagwa pats Sheegwa on the head. Then she and Dongwa both laugh and run away with the kite. This was obviously not what Sheegwa wanted to hear. But Dongwa and Sagwa prove to Sheegwa that the kite is not a game. And if Sheegwa holds the string and messes up the kite, they --Dongwa and Sagwa-- might have to start all over again. That is why they --Sagwa and Dongwa-- do not want Sheegwa to use the string. Sheegwa sulks sadly and says...!]''
:'''Sheegwa''': That is not true! I am not a baby anymore!
:''[Sagwa and Dongwa --Sheegwa's older siblings-- try their best to ignore her. And they refuse to find a place for Sheegwa in their game. That is, regarding with the kite. Mama Miao --not knowing that Dongwa and Sagwa are refusing to let Sheegwa join their &quot;games&quot;-- calls Sheegwa down from the attic. And she says...!]''
:'''Mama Miao''': ''[from offscreen]'' Sheegwa? Time for your nap!
:''[Mama Miao is unaware that Dongwa and Sagwa are not letting Sheegwa --their little sister-- tag along with their activities and finding a place for her in their games. That is, after she --Mama Miao-- calls Sheegwa down from the attic for her nap. And she --Mama Miao-- does no further investigation about Dongwa and Sagwa always excluding Sheegwa. Sheegwa --still upset and jealous because her older siblings never include her-- obeys this from Mama Miao. But she --jealously-- says to herself...!]'' 
:'''Sheegwa''': I can't wait to grow up! 
:''[Sheegwa lets out a sigh after saying this.]'' 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Baba''': ''[takes a piece of grass]'' It's a duck call. ''[quacks]''
:'''Dongwa''': Oh, sure Baba. Like a duck is ever going to think that's real.
:''[A real duck shows up, with Dongwa getting startled and hanging onto Sagwa]''

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[In the middle of Mama Miao's story, the scene cuts back to Sagwa, Dongwa, Sheegwa, and Mama Miao. And Sagwa is seen hugging Mama Miao and snuggling on her --Mama Miao's-- back.]''
:'''Sagwa''': ''[snuggling on her mother's back]'' What happened to Ming Miao?
:'''Mama Miao''': That is a very interesting question. I suppose that he could have remained at the emperor's palace where he could have ruled China. Couldn't he?
:'''Dongwa and Sheegwa''': Mm-hmm. 
:'''Mama Miao''': And he would've used his art to control the people.
:'''Sheegwa''': Mm-mmm. 
:'''Dongwa''': No way! Ming Miao never would've used his art for evil! He never would have done that!
:'''Mama Miao''': My goodness, Dongwa. You have been paying attention. And yes, you are right. Ming Miao would have never used his art for evil.

===''Sister Act / Too Close for Comfort'' [1.35]===

===''Sick Day / The Name Game'' [1.36]===

:'''Dongwa''': Come on! Help me out. There must be something we all have to do. 
:''[Sheegwa jumps on to Dongwa and lands on his belly and gets in his face and she laughs. Dongwa laughs because Sheegwa --on his belly-- tickles him.]''
:'''Sheegwa''': ''[thinks]'' Hmmm? 
:''[Then she gets into Dongwa's face.]'' 
:'''Sheegwa''': A story. 
:'''Dongwa''': Oh no. 
:''[Sheegwa laughs and jumps up and down on Dongwa's belly like a trampoline. Then she moves in closer and closer to Dongwa's nose level --begging him to tell her a story-- making him --Dongwa-- smell her --Sheegwa's-- nose. That is, as she --Sheegwa-- scents the smell --from her nostrils-- into his --Dongwa's-- nose.]''
:'''Sheegwa''': A story, a story! That is what Mama always does when I am...! ''[sneezes]'' ...sick. Please?
:''[Sheegwa kisses her brother on the belly.]''

===''Shei-Hu's Secret / Homesick Jun'' [1.37]===

===''The Return of the Rat/Great Balls of Fire'' [1.38]===

:'''Sheegwa''': Find them all? But there is a rabbit, and a pig, and an ox, and a dog...! That's a lot! 
:'''Nai-Nai''': That is the fun part. 
:''[Nai-Nai assigns the teams.]''
:'''Nai-Nai''': ''[to Sagwa and Fu-Fu]'' Sagwa and Fufu? You two are one team. ''[turns to Dongwa]'' And Dongwa? You and Sheegwa are the other. 
:''[It is a 2 vs. 2 game. The first team is Sagwa and Fufu. The second one is Dongwa and Sheegwa. So, it becomes Sagwa and Fufu vs. Dongwa and Sheegwa.]''
:'''Dongwa''': Oh great!
:''[Sheegwa sticks out her tongue at Dongwa because she is his partner. She taunts him --by sticking her tongue out and blowing a raspberry-- because he --Dongwa-- is stuck with her.]''
:'''Nai-Nai''': Now, here is a hint. You find the wooden animals like how real animals in nature would be. Well, at least some of them. ''[chuckles]'' 

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:''[The Rat tries to take a bite out of the clay &quot;cookie&quot; thinking it was a real almond cookie. He bites into the clay cookie and yelps in pain.]''
:'''Rat''': ''[in pain]'' '''OW!'''
:''[The Rat becomes disgusted because he tasted the clay from the clay cookie.]''
:'''Rat''': ''[in disgust]'' '''WHAT IS THIS!?'''
:''[That is, his reaction after biting into the clay cookie which Ba-Do made from clay. From offscreen, he spits out the bits of clay. The scene turns to Sheegwa. And Sheegwa says to the Rat...!]'' 
:'''Sheegwa''': ''[in a teasing smile]'' I have tried to tell you! It's not a real cookie! Ba-Do made it out of clay!
:'''Rat''': '''CLAY?! IS THAT ONE OF THE FOOD GROUPS?!'''
:''[Sagwa pawns off the game looking for Sheegwa. She finds Sheegwa and catches the Rat.]''
:'''Sagwa''': '''YOU...?!'''
:''[The Rat sees Sagwa.]'' 
:'''Rat''': ''[turns to Sagwa]'' Oh, hi there. Great to see you again. It has been so long.
:''[Sagwa glares at him. The Rat shakes her paw.]''
:'''Rat''': ''[laughs]'' Well, so long! 
:''[He tries to run away, but Sagwa steps on his tail with her paw.]''
:'''Sagwa''': '''I KNOW YOUR TRICKS, RAT! YOU STOLE THIS COOKIE!'''

===''Catsitter/On the Run'' [1.39]===

===''Cha-Siu Bow Wow / Mutt That Would Be King'' [1.40]===

:'''Dongwa''': Oh boy! Cha Siu! It is great having another boy around here! For once, I am never again being outnumbered by girls!
:''[As Dongwa says this, he wishes that Sagwa and Sheegwa would disappear. That is, if he any has boy cats --or dogs-- part of his family at any capacity. When Dongwa says this, Sagwa and Sheegwa look at Dongwa angrily.]''
:'''Sagwa and Sheegwa''': ''[together]'' '''WHAT!?'''
:'''Baba Miao''': '''DONGWA...!? (THAT IS NO WAY TO TALK TO SAGWA AND SHEEGWA!)'''

==Cast==

* Sagwa Miao (voiced by [[w:Holly Gauthier-Frankel|Holly Gauthier-Frankel]])
* Sheegwa Miao (voiced by Jesse Vinet)
* Dongwa Miao (voiced by [[w:Oliver Grainger|Oliver Grainger]])
* Baba Miao (voiced by Arthur Holden)
* Mama Miao (voiced by Ellen David)
* The Foolish Magistrate (voiced by Hiro Kanagawa)
* Tai-Tai (voiced by Khaira Ledeyo)
* Ba-Do (voiced by Kathy Tsoi)
* Luk-Do (voiced by Leanne Adachi)
* Huang-Do (voiced by Rosa YeeRosa Yee)
* The Cook (voiced by Raugi YuRaugi Yu)
* The Reader (voiced by Russell Yuen)
* Fu-Fu (voiced by Rick Jones)

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

[[Category:2000s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2000s Canadian animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated education TV shows]]
[[Category:American TV shows based on children's books]]
[[Category:American TV shows with live action and animation]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about cats]]
[[Category:Canadian children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:Canadian children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:Canadian children's animated education TV shows]]
[[Category:Canadian TV shows based on children's books]]
[[Category:Canadian TV shows with live action and animation]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Chinese animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Chinese children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:Chinese children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:PBS Kids shows]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:TVOntario shows]]</text>
      <sha1>5occc9e6myz11uamvl4m6ltkdo6fn33</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Space Jam: A New Legacy</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>239540</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944016</id>
      <parentid>3928559</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T19:26:36Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-21623-72</username>
        <id>3308949</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <origin>3944016</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="49820" sha1="tea8rzkoygvyjz2q3r9p5xkefw31cue" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
{{Film-cleanup}}
[[File:Space Jam; A New Legacy (Print).svg|right|thumb|220x220px|They're all Tuned up for a rematch.]]
'''''[[w:Space Jam: A New Legacy|Space Jam: A New Legacy]]''''' is an American live-action/animated sports comedy film produced by the [[w:Warner Animation Group|Warner Animation Group]] and featuring [[w:Looney Tunes|Looney Tunes]] characters. It is a standalone sequel to 1996's ''[[Space Jam]]''. The film stars [[LeBron James|LeBron James as himself]], [[Don Cheadle]], {{w|Khris Davis (actor)|Khris Davis}}, {{w|Sonequa Martin-Green}}, with the ''Looney Tunes'' voices of {{w|Jeff Bergman}}, {{w|Eric Bauza}}, and [[Zendaya]] as Lola. This was the first theatrically released Looney Tunes film since ''[[Looney Tunes: Back in Action]]''.

:''Directed by [[w:Malcolm D. Lee|Malcolm D. Lee]]. Written by Juel Taylor, Tony Rettenmaier, Keenan Coogler, [[w:Terence Nance|Terence Nance]], Jesse Gordon and Celeste Ballard.''

{{center|'''They're all Tuned up for a rematch.'''[[#Taglines|Taglines]]}}

{{film-stub}}

== James family ==
=== [[LeBron James]] ===
[[File:LeBron James and Kevin Love (cropped).jpg|thumb|I like to remind myself who I am playing for. My family. And right now, it is all about Dom.]]
* I am a cartoon.
* What in ''[[w:The Matrix (franchise)|The Matrix]]'' hell?
* ''[as [[w:Michael B. Jordan|&quot;Michael Jordan&quot;]] enters the locker room]'' Come on, man, that is Michael B. Jordan. The actor.
* Aahhh! I am shorter than [[Kevin Hart]]!
* Well, Bugs Bunny, I need to assemble an elite team to help crush this Al-G guy. And I need to do it before that game clock runs down.
* I am [[w:Robin (character)|Robin]]?!
* Is that Harry Potter world?
* I have been coaching you all this whole time. Sylvester over here getting the wrong MJ, Granny is out here having a martini on halftime, and Taz might as well be playing for the other team.
* ''[Sees The Brow from Goon Squad]'' Dang, what did they do to my boy, [[w:Anthony Davis|AD]]?
* I like to remind myself who I am playing for. My family. And right now, it's all about Dom.
* ''[remembering what Dom said to him]'' &quot;You never let me just… do me.&quot;
* Bugs… time to do what you guys do best.
* Dom, your game is amazing, son. But I guess I would have known that if I would have listened more. Sorry I did not. For me, when I was a kid, the things that I went through to get where I am now, I had to be a certain way. ''[sighs]'' Yeah, it helped me win games, but not so much being a dad. I am still learning how. You are teaching me. I want you to be yourself. Do you understand how much I love you? Do you understand how important you are to me? How very special you are? I mean, I do not even know if I am saying this right.
* ''[hugs Dom]'' I love you too, son.
* ''[facing the enemy]'' I do not think so.
* ''[happily; to Bugs, who ended up in the real world]'' It is good to see you, buddy.
* Tune Squad on three. One, two, three… ''[all]'' Tune Squad!
* ''[last line]'' What do you mean, “the whole gang”?

=== Kamiyah James ===
[[File:Sonequa Martin-Green 2019 (cropped).jpg|thumb|You got to win this game and get our son back.]]
* Like how Dom built a video game. He’s 12 and he built his own game. 
* He does not need a coach. He needs his dad.
* ''[along with Darius and Xosha in the car arrives at the Gate two near the [[w:Warner Bros. Studios, Burbank|Warner Bros. Studios, Burbank]].]'' Malik, you have zero seconds to tell me where my husband and my son are.
* ''[as she, Darius, and Xosha are transported into the Serververse]'' Whoa, what in the world?!
* ''[to LeBron]'' You got to win this game and get our son back.

=== Darius James ===
* ''[to Dom]'' I told you not to bring that out here.
* ''[about LeBron]'' How does he do that?

=== Dominic &quot;Dom&quot; James ===
* You make me hate basketball.
* You never let me do what I want to do. You never let me just… do me.
* ''[sadly]'' My entire character is gone. It is going to take me at least a week to rebuild.
*
* It was great. They really helped me out. Stored all the scans right on my phone.
* Come on, Dad. Why you gotta make everything so serious?
* He’s not bad. He’s just sad because he works so hard and no one pays attention to him. He’s like me, Dad.
* I’m playing basketball. I thought you’d be happy.
*
*
* ''[laughs]'' What’s wrong, Al? That was awesome.
* Dad, what are you doing? We are in the middle of the game.
* Dad…
* Sounds right to me.
* ''[hugs LeBron]'' I love you, Dad.
* Mom! Hey, Xosha!
* I got this, Dad.
* ''[confronts Al-G Rhythm and quits the job to not be member of the Goon Squad]'' I think you want people to fear you more than anything. And I am not about that, Al-G. I am playing with my dad.
* Yeah. I’m actually pretty excited.
* I think I’mma just take a break from video games for now. You know, after we…
* Yeah.
* What are you talking about?
* Thank you, Dad.
* I think I’mma hold onto it.

=== Xosha James ===
* Daddy.

== Tune Squad ==
=== [[w:Bugs Bunny|Bugs Bunny]] ===
[[File:Swarovski Bugs Bunny.jpg|thumb|What is up, doc?]]
* ''[repeated line; to LeBron]'' What is up, doc?
* ''[sighs]'' Tune World is my home. It is the only place where I can be me, where I belong.
* What brings you to Tune World, doc?
* So, you want me, a talking cartoon bunny, to play with you, an NBA superstar, in a high-stakes basketball game? ''[to the camera]'' [[Space Jam|Sounds awfully familiar.]]
* ''[after Al-G changes the Tunes from 2D to 3D]'' Al-G... THIS MEANS WAR.
* How big are these butts?
* ''[to Daffy, annoyed, after Al-G says all the Tune will be deleted if they lose]'' You just could not keep your big beak shut.
* We're getting murderized!
* You know something? If we are going out, we are going out looney. Let it go, team! All tooney, big Mooney, full looney!
* ''[greetings to Dom]'' What is up, Dom?
* Oh, it is on.
* In and out, crossover, step back, ''[Lola: Bugs, no!]'' SHOOT! ''[starts glitching]''
* ''[before he dies and rejuvenates]'' That's all folks.
* Aw, that is so sweet.
* ''[last lines]'' You can’t get rid of us now, Doc. We’re family!

=== [[w:Daffy Duck|Daffy Duck]] ===
* An orphanage. Of course.
* Sam, shoot the ball. ''[Yosemite Sam literally shoots the ball with his two guns, making the other Looney Tune characters run away. When the smoke clears, Daffy is bill, bullet-riddled, is on the other side of his head]'' Let is try that again, shall we?
* ''[sees his new 3D self in a suit]'' I look expensive.
* Well, that happened.
* I am not a betting duck, but my money is on the other team.
* We need a boost, a pick-me-up. ''[turns his beak back on his face]'' A secret weapon.
* ''[referring to Granny]'' She knows time is literally on ''their'' side, right?
* That no-good despicable son of a glitch! 
* We couldn't get Michael ''A.'' Jordan, so we got Michael '''''B.''''' Jordan??

=== [[w:Lola Bunny|Lola Bunny]] ===
* We will get your son back. I promise.
* ''[after being changed into her 3D style]'' What in the world?
* The Tune Squad does not give up at halftime. The Tune Squad does not give up ever.
* I got you, Bron!
* I got hops! Whoo! ''[slides across the court]''
* ''[to Dom]'' Oh, it is so nice to meet you.

=== [[w:Granny (Looney Tunes)|Granny]] ===
* Can't a lady check her Twitter?
* Oh, do not worry. Time is on our side.
* ''[referring to Chronos]'' I am going old-school on his butt.
* Tick-tock. ''[ages Chronos forward 132 years]''
* ''[holds a Tune Squad jersey number seven]'' I made this for your son, just in case.

=== [[w:Elmer Fudd|Elmer Fudd]] ===
* ''[referring to Al-G Rhythm]'' He is a bad guy.

=== [[w:Speedy Gonzales|Speedy Gonzales]] ===
* ''[slow-motion]'' Arriba!!! Arri-- Mi sombrero! Epa, epa, epa! Neo am not got nothing on me, bro! (Note: &quot;mi sombrero&quot; means &quot;my hat&quot; in Spanish)

=== [[w:Yosemite Sam|Yosemite Sam]] ===
* Ooh, you got baggage, lady. I can relate.

=== [[w:Porky Pig|Porky Pig]] ===
* Th-Th-Th-That's all, folks!

=== [[w:Foghorn Leghorn|Foghorn Leghorn]] ===
* ''[as Al-G changes him into his 3D style]'' I say, I say, cock-a-doodle-doo… not do that.

=== [[w:Sylvester the Cat|Sylvester]] ===
* I do not know if this counts as a miracle, but I found [[Michael Jordan]]! He was in the audience. I know he can help.

=== [[w:Tweety|Tweety]] ===
* I got her! I got her! ''[gets squished by Arachnneka]'' Ohh. She got me.

=== [[w:Wile E Coyote|Wile E Coyote]] ===
* ''[sits on an open cooler]'' Do not ask.

=== [[w:The Road Runner|The Road Runner]] ===
* Beep-beep!

== Al-G Rhythm ==
[[File:Don Cheadle UNEP 2011 (cropped).jpg|thumb|Yo, King! Your about to lose your family, your friends, those Tunes, and everything you love.]]
* ''[first words]'' I've searched far and wide for the perfect partner for this launch, and I've finally found him, LeBron James. 
* ''[sighs]'' Pete, he’s a family man, an entrepreneur, a social media superstar with millions of fans worldwide. Algorithmically speaking, he’s more than an athlete. He’s a king.
* I know I’m just an algorithm, Pete. That’s precisely why I need King James.
* I’m stuck inside the Serververse. No one knows who I am or what I do. But that all changes today. Because today, Warner Bros. launches the revolutionary technology that I masterminded. Today, it’s my time to shine.
* Welcome, King James. I am the king of this domain.
* Hello. I'm Al-G Rhythm. And as you might have guessed, I'm an algorithm here at Warner Bros. The studio behind all the classics. But now, it's time for our greatest creation yet, Warner 3000. This will revolutionize the entire entertainment industry, and we want you to be on our team, King James. Now, we know you're busy, but we can make it very easy for you. Because our brand new Warner 3000 technology will scan you right into the movies. Oh, it's like looking into a mirror, huh, LeBron? Think about it, ''[[Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice|Batman vs. LeBron]]''. ''[[Game of Thrones|LeBron of Thrones]]''. ''[[Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (film)|LeBron and the Chamber of Secrets]]''. The possibilities are endless. You'll be the king of Warner Bros. That's the power of Warner 3000. Say yes, LeBron, and together, we'll make mind-blowing entertainment forever.
* ''[furiously]'' '''AAH!!! WHO DOES THIS GUY THINK HE IS, HUH? REJECTING ME?! HUMILIATING ME?!''' ''[calms down]'' Okay. Alright. I tried bein' a team player, but those days are over. I'm done playin' by everybody else's rules. It is MY game now!
* This is the Warner Bros. Serververse.
* The only way you're getting your son back is if you and I play a little game called basketball.
* Pete, send this clown to the rejects.
* No, Dom. No buts. ''[in distorted voice]'' You want your dad to respect you, you beat him in a game of your own creation. Dads don't understand reason, Dom. They understand power. You take the power. You gotta make him respect you. You make him see that you are special.
* Well, if it isn't the old-news Looney Tunes. Looking just as washed up as ever. You know what? I think it's time for an upgrade. ''[upgrades LeBron and the Looney Tunes into their 3D styles]'' Oh, they're alive! Alive! Oh, yeah. You're looking sharp, Looney Tunes.
* Let's get some butts in these seats!
* It's game time!
* Introducing the Goon Squad!
* Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to the first and final Serververse Classic! Oh! Let me tell you what. I know that you are all LeBron's biggest fans. And the King has had a great run, hasn't he? But that's over. That's done now. And it is time for a ''new'' king to take the throne! So let's lay down some basic rules. If King James wins, you all get to back to your regular, boring lives. But if ''my'' team wins, you all get to stay with me in the Serververse forever! How 'bout that, huh? Oh, yeah. Didn't see that coming, did you? Oh, boy. Oh, and I almost forgot, all of the Tunes will be deleted, so, pfft!
* Oh, no! Are you kidding me? Road Runner Smoke Screen! It's the oldest trick in the book!
* How did I lose control? I didn’t lose control. You lost… You… This one lost… I haven’t lost any…
* Are you serious? Make a call, Pete! Oh, you wanna swallow your whistle? ''[grabs a chair throws to Pete swallow the whistle]'' Yeah! How'd that taste? Now call the game!
* What do you mean, “What’s wrong?” They’re catching up. Run Dame Time.
* ''[as Granny beats Chronos]'' What in the AARP is going out here?
* Hey, Dom! Are you a Tune or are you a Goon? Tune or Goon? Tune or Goon? Make up your mind. Make up your mind. Let's go. Sit down.
* Everyone happy, huh? Everybody - Everybody having a good time? Yeah? You having a lot of fun out there? 'Cause that's all what matters, right? Is that you're having fun? ''[yelling]'' THAT DOES NOT MATTER AT ALL! WHAT MATTERS THAT I WIN THIS ''[long bleep]'' GAME!! Oh, and you, Dom! HOW are you losing at your OWN game? ''[in distorted voice]'' FOR SERVER'S SAKE, I DIDN'T EVEN THINK THAT WAS POSSIBLE! I expected a LOT more out of you, son! [[High School Musical|Get your head in the game!]] I need to WIN!!! 
* ''[in normal voice]'' Yeah. Maybe your dad was right about you. Letting you be you was a mistake.
* Okay. If everybody would move down, then we could all sit on the bench. Let’s all sit on the bench!
* Are you serious? ''[holding the ball]'' ''[in distorted voice]'' '''ZIP IT!''' ''[looks at LeBron and Dom]'' You two are a joke, you know that?
* Oh, what? You got something to say?
* First of all, it's Mr. Rhythm to you, you little traitor. Second of all, you're not. You're playing against your dad. See what this says? “Goon Squad.” You already made your choice, Dom. Right, Pete? He can't… ''[see Pete whimpering]'' Pete, are you crying? ''[Pete wipe the tear in his eye]'' There's no crying in the Serververse, Pete! ''[scoffs, Dom walk backs away and joining the Tune Squad]'' All right. Yeah, all right. I see how it is, Dom. ''[in distorted voice]'' I see how it is. '''I ''GAVE'' YOU EVERYTHING!!'''
* Fine! ''[standing on the center court seeking revenge on Dom who scolded him join the Tune Squad]'' You want to join these losers? You go ahead, Dom. 'Cause it's not your game anymore, ''[in distorted voice]'' I am the game! '''[[Kong: Skull Island|KING KONG]] AIN'T GOT NOTHING ON ME!!'''
* Yo, King! You're about to lose your family, your friends, those Tunes, and everything you love.
* That's cute. But I thought I told you. ''[snaps his fingers, forcing the ball out the net to take points away from the Tune Squad]'' It's my game now.
* Sic 'em, Goons.
* Incoming! Whoo! I'm a monster! We about to break the internet, baby! It's over!
* Whoa! Where my Goons at? ''[White Mamba: Right here, Coach.]''
* No mercy!
* Yeah, this is fun, huh? We should just do it again and again and again. Just over and over and over for all eternity. How's that sound?
* That's cheating!
* Great. Posterized.
* ''[last words]'' Oh, this is not how I wanted to go out!

== Others ==
* '''White Mamba''': What's up?
* '''Wet Fire''': Gimme that ball, rabbit!
* '''Arachnneka''': Eat that, eat that, eat that, eat that.
* '''The Brow''': ''[confronts Tweety]'' Yeah. Bird versus baby bird.
* '''Chronos''': ''[when Dame Time comes around]'' It's the King Stomper!
* '''{{w|Ernie Johnson Jr.}}''': Looks like Wile E's gotten himself mixed up in the machine.
* '''{{w|Lil Rel Howery}}''': Yes, I never doubted you for a second, LeBron! We are goin' home! ''[he and Ernie get teleported]'' Thank you so much! You are the Akron Hammer, the Chosen One! King James, man! ''[LeBron's followers get teleported too]'' I love you! ''[he cries joyfully]'' We going home!
* '''[[w:Marvin the Martian|Marvin the Martian]]''': I claim this planet in the name of {{w|Mars}}!
* '''[[w:Fred Flintstone|Fred Flintstone]]''': Yabba Dabba Doo!
* '''[[w:Yogi Bear|Yogi Bear]]''': Hey, Boo-Boo!
*'''{{w|Michael B. Jordan}}''': I was just gettin' some popcorn and then this cat grabbed me.

== Dialogue ==
:''[Later that night, Kamiyah talks with LeBron about Dom.]''
:'''Kamiyah James''': We talked about you affirming Dom more. Spending some unstructured time with him.
:'''LeBron James''': We was just outside. I mean, how much more spontaneous do you want me to be?
:'''Kamiyah James''': Babe, I am worried that you are pushing him too hard.
:'''LeBron James''': I mean, the kid keep telling me he want the best coaching so he can be the best player on the court.
:'''Kamiyah James''': Have you thought about talking to your son about something other than basketball?
:'''LeBron James''': Like what?
:'''Kamiyah James''': ''[sighs]'' Like how Dom built a video game. He’s 12 and he built his own game.
:'''LeBron James''': Yeah, I know. I mean, that’s great. I mean, but if I don’t push him, if I don’t stay on him, all the distractions…
:'''Kamiyah James''': He doesn’t need a coach. He needs his dad.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': I’ve searched far and wide for the perfect partner for this launch, and I’ve finally found him, LeBron James.
:'''Pete''': ''[cooing]''
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': ''[sighs]'' Pete, he’s a family man, an entrepreneur, a social media superstar with millions of fans worldwide. Algorithmically speaking, he’s more than an athlete. He’s a king.
:'''Pete''': Hmm? ''[babbles]''
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': I know I’m just an algorithm, Pete. That’s precisely why I need King James. ''[Pete nods and he looks towards the view of the Serververse]'' I’m stuck inside the Serververse. No one knows who I am or what I do. But that all changes today. Because today, Warner Bros. launches the revolutionary technology that I masterminded. Today, it’s my time to shine. Just look at this guy, Pete. ''[chuckles]'' Oh, he is the key element to this entire operation.
:'''Pete''': ''[babbles]''
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': Once I partner with King James and combine his fame with my incredible tech… I will finally get the recognition and respect that I so richly deserve. LeBron James, get ready.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;

:'''Al-G Rhythm''': ''[on speakers]'' Hello, I'm Al-G Rhythm. And as you might have guessed, I'm an algorithm here at Warner Bros. The studio behind all the classics. But now, it's time for our greatest creation yet, Warner 3000. This will revolutionize the entire entertainment industry, and we want you to be on our team, King James. Now, we know you're busy, but we can make it very easy for you. Because our brand new Warner 3000 technology will scan you right into the movies. Oh, it's like looking into a mirror, huh, LeBron? Think about it, ''[[Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice|Batman vs. LeBron]]''. ''[[Game of Thrones|LeBron of Thrones]]''. ''[[Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (film)|LeBron and the Chamber of Secrets]]''. The possibilities are endless. You'll be the king of Warner Bros. That's the power of Warner 3000. Say yes, LeBron, and together, we'll make mind-blowing entertainment forever.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': ''[in distorted voice, furiously]'' AAH!!! WHO DOES THIS GUY THINK HE IS, HUH? REJECTING ME?! HUMILIATING ME?! ''[calms down]'' Okay. Alright. I tried bein' a team player, but those days are over. I'm done playin' by everybody else's rules. It is MY game now!
:'''LeBron James''': Dom! I’m your father. When I say stop, you stop.
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': Right this way, King James.
:'''LeBron James''': Dom, do not get in that elevator! Come on, Dom. ''[enters the elevator and closes the door and the elevator goes down]'' You know I can't let you back outta camp like that. You made a commitment.
:'''Dom James''': You make me hate basketball.
:'''LeBron James''': You don't mean that.
:'''Dom James''': I do. Everything's always what ''you'' want. You never lemme do what I wanna do. You never lemme just...do me! ''[walks out the elevator]''
:'''LeBron James''': ''[confused]'' &quot;Do me&quot;? You think I got to &quot;do me&quot; when I was 12? ''[elevator shows Al-G's logo]'' Ho-hold up. Wrong floor. ''[walks out the elevator]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''LeBron James''': Dom! What’s going on? Are you okay?
:'''Dom James''': Yeah, I’m fine. Wow. This must be some kind of immersive tech like holography with haptic technology, or something like VR…
:'''LeBron James''': Dude, dude, dude. Just tell me what’s going on.
:'''Dom James''': Dad, I think we’re digitized. We’re in the computer!
:'''LeBron James''': We’re in the computer?
:'''Dom James''': Dad.
:'''LeBron James''': You know I’m claustrophobic.
:'''Dom James''': Dad, chill out.
:'''LeBron James''': How do we get out of here?
:'''Dom James''': Dad. Dad.
:'''LeBron James''': Where’s the elevators? Hey, Siri, can you let us out of here, please?
:'''Dom James''': Siri?
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': ''[in villainous voice]'' Who goes there? ''[LeBron and Dom screams]'' Who dares disturb the great and powerful Al G.? ''[chuckles]'' ''[in normal voice]'' Look at your faces. You were terrified! ''[mimics gasp then laughs]'' Priceless. See? Nothing to be afraid of.
:'''LeBron James''': The computer’s Black.
:'''Dom James''': I can see that.
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': Hello. Hi. Wow. King James. I am a big fan. ''[chuckles]'' I just… I don’t know, I thought you’d be taller somehow. Hmm.
:'''Dom James''': These graphics are unreal.
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': Right?
:'''LeBron James''': Dom, don’t touch the silver computer man. What’s going on? And who are you, man?
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': Uh… ''[clears throat]'' You’re right. Forgive me. Where are my manners? I am King Al G. Rhythm.
:'''LeBron James''': Oh, you’re that guy from the video.
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': Yes, I am. ''[chuckles]'' And this… Ha-ha. Oh, gentlemen, this… this is the Warner Bros. Serververse. Just make you feel all insignificant, don’t it?
:'''LeBron James''': ''[scoffs]'' Are all computers like this? Dom? Dom?
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': Uh-oh.
:'''LeBron James''': What’d you do to my son? Where’s Dom?
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': Who’s Dom? ''[chuckles]'' Dude, chill out. You’re gonna get your son back.
:'''LeBron James''': There better not be a “but” at the end of…
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': But there’s something you’re gonna do for me first.
:'''LeBron James''': Like what?
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': You know, you, uh… ''[scoffs]'' You really shouldn’t have rejected my ideas back there. That was a mistake. Now, I’m afraid you’re gonna have to help me fulfill my destiny.
:'''LeBron James''': Listen, man, if you don’t produce my son in five seconds…
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': Eh-eh! Uh-uh. No, no, no. All that pointing and aggression. No, no, no. You’re not running things in here. I am the king of this domain. I’m not your coach. Now, the only way you’re getting your son back is if you and I play a little game called basketball.
:'''LeBron James''': ''[scoffs]'' You wanna play me in basketball?
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': Well, you didn’t wanna be in the movies. You wanted to “focus on your game.” Well, guess what? Now you can focus on this game. You and me, we’re gonna put on a show, baby. We are gonna play a game of basketball in front of the largest captive audience ever. All your followers, they’re all gonna be watching. And when they see the two of us together, I will finally step out of the shadows and into the light. And the entire world is gonna know the name of King Al G. Rhythm. ''[chuckles then sighs]'' But you know what, I’m a good sport. Tell you what, if you win, you and your son can skedaddle on out of here.
:'''LeBron James''': And what if I lose?
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': Yeah. Wrinkle. If you lose… Well, when you lose, you’re just gonna have to stay here in the Serververse with me… ''[echoing]'' forever and ever and ever and ever.
:'''Pete''': Oh!
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': ''[chuckles]'' So, you better play like you mean it.
:'''LeBron James''':  You know, you think this is a game. I’m calling the authorities on you. ‘Cause what you got going on here…
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': On this phone?
:'''LeBron James''': How’d you do that?
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': LeBron, why are you worried about the authorities when you should be out there looking for a team? Pete, send this clown to the rejects.
:'''LeBron James''': Wait… ''[screaming]''
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': ''[chuckles]'' I guess he fell for it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bugs Bunny''': ''[referring to Al-G Rhythm]'' That nefarious nimrod nixed my nearest and dearest from Tune World.
:'''LeBron James''': He kicked them out?
:'''Bugs Bunny''': Well, not exactly. ''[fills a mug with carrot juice, flashback begins]'' He buttered them up, sayin' they were wasting their time, that there was much more to see in the Serververse than old Tune World. ''[the Looney Tunes except Bugs Bunny, who tries to stop them, get on board a rocket]'' Made them turn their backs on who they really were. ''[the rocket launches]'' They all left! ''All'' o' them! ''[flashback ends, drinks a mug of carrot juice and is also drunk]'' And I wish them all the best in their new endeavors. ''[faceplants on a counter]''
:'''LeBron James''': Ah, man! Sorry, Bugs. That's terrible. Family's everything.
:'''Bugs Bunny''': ''[looks up at the portrait of the Looney Tunes]'' Yep. ''[blinks sadly]'' Family.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bugs Bunny''': I declare this land for planet Earth. ''[plants an Earth flag]''
:''[a spacecraft lands, multiple doors open up to reveal Marvin the Martian and his pet green dog K9]''
:'''Marvin the Martian''': Not so fast, furry creature! ''[they walk down from the spacecraft, he carries a flag past LeBron's legs]'' Excuse me.
:'''LeBron James''': [[w:Marvin the Martian|Marvin the Martian]]? For real?!
:'''Marvin the Martian''': ''[plants a Mars flag]'' I claim this planet in the Mars!
:'''Bugs Bunny''': ''[gasps]'' My goodness. My mistake, partner. I thought this land was in the clear. ''[winks]'' Well, we'll just get back in our ship and outta your way.
:'''Marvin the Martian''': Oh it's quite alright. ''[Bugs turns him around]'' Everyone makes mistakes.
:'''Bugs Bunny''': ''[pushing LeBron]'' C'mon, let's boogie.
:'''LeBron James''': What? We're stealing the ship? I didn't agree to this.
:'''Marvin the Martian''': My ship! ''[angrily]'' Ohh, blasted rabbit! ''[sets his gun to &quot;anti-gravity&quot; mode and shoots at LeBron]''
:'''LeBron James''': ''[floating]'' Whoa, whoa! Bugs, help! ''[Bugs grabs his shoelace]'' Help! Whoa!
:'''Marvin the Martian''': Take this, rabbit! ''[shoots at Bugs Bunny]''
:'''Bugs Bunny''': ''[holding a mirror]'' Back at ya! ''[laser reflects, hitting Marvin, causing him to float, turns to LeBron]'' Ya comin', Doc, or would ya rather hang back with a cranky Martian and his space mutt?
:'''LeBron James''': ''[constantly hit in the head by a roof]'' Just watch out for the... Just watch out for the...OW! I just said watch out for...OW ! Bugs!
:''[the spacecraft gets off the ground and flies away]''
:'''Marvin the Martian''': Humph! You have made me ''very'' angry. ''Very'' angry indeed!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Rick''': ''[referring to Taz]'' We're done running tests on your badger thing. It turns out, his condition is irreversible.
:'''Morty''': I'll never erase what I saw from my brain.
:'''Rick''': He's your problem now, dum-dums! ''[they speed away]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Daffy Duck''': You know what we're missing?
:'''LeBron James''': Everything. We're missing EVERYTHING.
:'''Bugs Bunny''': Some veteran leadership?
:'''Daffy Duck''': You read my mind.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''LeBron James''': Ball. ''[basketball dispenser shoots a basketball, he catches it in his hands]'' I need us to focus so we can beat this Al-G guy and I can get my son back.
:'''Daffy Duck''': ''[steps up] I'm'' coach. ''I'll'' take it from here. The dictionary defines basketball ''[Bugs Bunny shrinks him]'' as a game played between 2 teams of 5.
:'''Bugs Bunny''': Eh, look here, {{w|Cleveland}}, we got a certain way of doing things around here.
:'''LeBron James''': Let's start with the basics. Lola, show 'em how we do it.
:'''Daffy Duck''': ''[walks away]'' You're despicable.
:'''Lola Bunny''': ''[dribbles and hoops the ball]'' Simplest shot in the game. ''[the Tune Squad are amazed]''
:'''Sylvester''': Suffering succotash.
:'''Porky Pig''': Oh, wow!
:'''LeBron James''': Nice layup. That's fundamental basketball.
:'''Daffy Duck''': ''[normal size]'' Fundamental basketball. That's what I've been saying. Sam, shoot the ball. ''[Yosemite Sam literally shoots the ball with his guns and Daffy's beak while the other Tunes run away]'' Let's try that again, shall we?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''LeBron James''': This isn't real basketball.
:'''Bugs Bunny''': You're right, but it's fun! You remember fun, don't ya, doc?
:'''Granny''': Game, blouses! ''[drops hoop]'' What? ''[LeBron rolls his eyes]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lola Bunny''': ''[notices LeBron James signing his shoes]'' Pre-game ritual?
:'''LeBron James''': I like to remind myself who I'm playin' for,  my family. And right now, it's all about Dom.
:'''Lola Bunny''': We'll get your son back. I promise.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fred Flintstone''': Yabba Dabba Doo!
:'''Yogi Bear''': Hey, Boo-Boo!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Malik''': Zap me into you.
:'''Siri''': Sorry, I didn't understand that.
:'''Malik''': I said &quot;Zap me into you.&quot;! Zap me, human, into you, phone! Zap me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Al–G Rhythm''': Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to the first and final Serververse Classic! Oh! Let me tell you what. I know that you are all LeBron's biggest fans. And the King has had a great run, hasn't he? But that's over. That's done now. And it is time for a ''new'' king to take the throne!
:'''LeBron James''': This dude is a hater.
:'''Granny''': Haters gonna hate.
:'''Elmer Fudd''': He's a bad guy.
:'''LeBron James''': Big time.
:'''Al–G Rhythm''': So let's lay down some basic rules. If King James wins, you all get to back to your regular, boring lives. But if ''my'' team wins, you all get to stay with me in the Serververse forever! ''[the crowd complain in shock]'' How 'bout that, huh?
:'''LeBron James''': What?! That wasn't the deal!
:'''Al–G Rhythm''': Oh, yeah. Didn't see that coming, did you? 
:'''Daffy Duck''': Well, at least we're good.
:'''Al–G Rhythm''': Oh, and I almost forgot, all of the Tunes will be deleted, so, pfft!
:'''Elmder Fudd''': Oh, no!
:'''Sylvester''': Deleted?!
:'''Tweety''': That is messed up!
:'''Foghorn Leghorn''': That dude is bad.
:'''Granny''': Why?
:'''Bugs Bunny''': ''[to Daffy, annoyingly]'' You just couldn't keep your big beak shut.
:'''Granny''': ''[angrily smacks Daffy in the back of his head]'' Blabbermouth!
:'''Daffy Duck''': I deserve that.
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': And now, from the beautiful mind of Dominic James… Introducing… the Goon Squad! ''[the logo for the Goon Squad pops up]'' White Mamba!
:'''White Mamba''': ''[slithers]'' Wassup? ''[passes the ball to Wet Fire]''
:'''Wet Fire''': ''[catches the ball]'' Wet ball, baby. ''[jumps and explodes]''
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': Wet Fire! ''[Wet Fire passes the ball to Arachnneka]'' Arachnneka!
:'''Arachnneka''': ''[spins a cobweb surrounding the ball]'' Queen of the web. ''[kisses the ball and throws it in the air]''
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': ''[the Brow soars and catches the ball and lands]'' And The Brow!
:'''The Brow''': ''[smacks the ball to the ground]'' Flyest guy on the Squad.
:'''LeBron James''': Dang, what'd they do to my boy, AD?
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': And this next young man I'm bringing up… Oh, my goodness. Y'all gonna love him. He puts the &quot;G&quot; in &quot;genius.&quot; He's my hero on the ones and zeroes. Mr. Dominic James! ''[holds note]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''The Brow''': You goin' down, King James.
:'''Arachnneka''': What's good, baby? ''[kisses]''
:'''LeBron James''': Hey yo, Brow, I think it's time for your eyebrows to break up with each other.
:'''The Brow''': ''[looks up]'' Oh?
:'''LeBron James''': They ugly. Let it go.
:'''The Brow''': What'd he mean? What's wrong with 'em?
:'''White Mamba''': ''[referring to LeBron James]'' We'll show him who's boss.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Chronos''': Sheesh. Dude could use a makeover.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[during halftime, the Tune Squad are recovering from their injuries]''
:'''Elmer Fudd''': Pwease don't wet us get deweted. Pwease don't wet us get deweted.
:'''Lola Bunny''': Come on, guys. Don't give up. There's a whole other half to play.
:'''Speedy Gonzales''': Oh, mi cabeza!
:'''Lola Bunny''': I'm telling you, we can still win this.
:'''Porky Pig''': How? We're g-g-g-g-g-getting deceimated!
:'''Daffy Duck''': ''[with his bill on backwards]'' We need a boost. A pick-me-up. ''[fixes his bill]'' A secret weapon!
:'''Granny''': ''[having a martini]'' We need a miracle!
:''[Daffy grabs the martini and splashes it on his face]''
:'''Sylvester''': I don't know if this counts as a miracle, but I found {{w|Michael Jordan}}! He was in the audience. I know he can help. ''[salutes as the theme song plays]''
:'''Bugs Bunny''': ''[stands up]'' His Airness?!
:'''Daffy Duck''': You found him?
:'''Yosemite Sam''': Oh, I can feel his power already!
:'''Tweety''': ''[flies by]'' Ooh! I can hear his shoes!
:''[a silhouette was walking down and Bugs Bunny's smile grows bigger]''
:'''Daffy Duck''': At guard, 6'6&quot; from {{w|North Carolina}}, ''[the Tune Squad cheer]'' #23, Michael Jorda-eh-uh?
:''[the silhouette reveals to be {{w|Michael B Jordan}}. The Tune Squad are confused, as Daffy's jaw drops, and he drops the microphone]''
:'''LeBron James''': C'mon, man. That's Michael ''B'' Jordan. The actor.
:'''Michael B Jordan''': ''[waves his hand, Sylvester shakes his head]'' I was just gettin' some popcorn and then this cat grabbed me.
:'''Daffy Duck''': We couldn't get Michael '''A''' Jordan, so we got ''Michael '''B''' Jordan?!''
:'''Elmer Fudd''': How could you think he was His Airness? ''[stretches Sylvester's neck]'' They wook nothing awike!
:'''Sylvester''': [[Space Jam|It's been 25 years.]] I thought he aged gracefully.
:'''Michael B Jordan''': This is awkward, um, but I believe in you guys, okay? Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose! Ya hear me?! CLEAR EYES, FULL HEARTS, CAN'T LOSE! SAY IT WITH ME...
:'''LeBron James''': Mike. ''[makes a gesture with his hand as if to say &quot;cut it out&quot;]''
:'''Michael B Jordan''': Yeah, you got this. ''[Daffy writes down &quot;Wrong Jordan!! Trade Sylvester&quot; on his clipboard]'' I'm-I'm too much. You're right. I'm sorry. ''[walks out of the room]'' I'm-I'mma go back to my seat. You came back 3-1.
:'''Sylvester''': Well...
:'''Michael B Jordan''': You killed it. You can do it again! ''[Wile E Coyote shrugs]''
:'''LeBron James''': Right.
:'''Daffy Duck''': Ugh, well, that was a bust. ''[throws away the clipboard]'' Anyone else got any bright ideas?
:'''Lola Bunny''': Come on! Get it together, guys! The Tune Squad doesn't give up at halftime! The Tune Squad doesn't give up ''ever''!
:'''LeBron James''': We're down a thousand points. No time is comin' back from this.
:'''Yosemite Sam''': Well, why don't you try coachin' us better, bucko?!
:'''LeBron James''': I've been coachin' y'all this whole time. Sylvester over here gettin' the wrong MJ, Granny's out here havin' a martini at halftime, and Taz might as well be playin' for the other team! 
:'''Daffy Duck''': Your son plays for the other team!
:'''Tweety Bird''': Yeah! You're a bad dad!
:'''LeBron James''': I'm a bad dad? I've been tryin' to save my son ''and'' coach y'all at the same time. What y'all doin'?
:'''Lola Bunny''': We've been trying!
:'''LeBron James''': Tryin' to do what?! 
:'''Lola Bunny''': Trying to be like you.
:''[LeBron's eye widen in realization]''
:'''Bugs Bunny''': And it's not workin'.
:''[LeBron realizes how he was acting]''
:'''LeBron James''': 'Cuz you're ''not'' me. ''[looks down at his shows signed by his children]'' &quot;You never let me just... do me.&quot; Okay, I got it. New game plan. ''[pulls down a whiteboard]'' Bugs? ''[hands Bugs the marker]'' Time to do what you guys do best.
:''[Bugs looks at the marker and glances at LeBron, who smiles at him; he then looks at the other Tune Squad members]''
:'''Bugs Bunny''': Ya know somethin'? If we're goin' out, we're goin' out Looney! Let's go, team! All Tuney, big moony, full Looney!
:''[the Tune Squad all cheer]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dom James''': Dad, what are you doing? We're in the middle of a game.
:'''Bugs Bunny''': Hey, what's going on?
:'''Lola Bunny''': I don't know.
:'''Dom James''': Dad...
:'''LeBron James''': Dom, your game is amazing, son. But I guess I would’ve known that if I would’ve listened more. I'm sorry I didn’t. For me, when I was a kid, the things that I went through to get where I am now, I had to be a certain way. ''[sighs]'' Yeah, it helped me win games, but not so much being a dad. I’m still learning how. You’re teaching me. I want you to be yourself. Do you understand how much I love you? Do you understand how important you are to me? How very special you are? I mean, I don’t even know if I’m saying this right. ''[throw the ball bounces off]''
:'''Dom James''': Sounds right to me. ''[Kamiyah loving look then he hugs his dad]'' I love you, Dad.
:'''LeBron James''': I love you too, son.
:''[crowd applauding]''
:'''Yosemite Sam''': Oh, now, that's beautiful.
:'''Granny''': Let's go!
:'''Yosemite Sam''': Whoo!
:'''Lola Bunny''': I think I'm gonna cry.
:'''Bugs Bunny''': Not me. ''[wailing]''
:'''Lola Bunny''': Bugs, pull it together.
:'''Kamiyah James''': Dom! Dom!
:''[Both LeBron and Dom turn to their family in the audience]''
:'''Dom James''': Mom! ''[Xosha waves]'' Hey, Xosha! 
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': ''[offscreen]'' Are you serious? ''[Dom looks at him walks up holding the ball and turns rounds to the crowd cheering audience]'' ''[in distorted voice]'' '''ZIP IT!''' ''[crowd quiets and looks at LeBron and Dom]'' You two are a ''joke'', you know that?
:''[LeBron started to storm over to Al-G but Dom stopped him]''
:'''Dom James''': I got this, Dad. ''[walks over towards to confronts Al-G]''
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': ''[in normal voice]'' Oh, what? ''You'' got something to say?
:'''Dom James''': ''[being serious]'' Yeah. ''I'' think ''you'' want people to fear ''you'' more than ''anything''. And ''I’m'' not about that, Al-G. ''I’m'' playing with my dad.
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': ''[anger]'' First of all, it’s Mr. Rhythm to you, you little traitor. Second of all, you’re ''not''. You’re playing ''against'' your dad. ''[point to Dom's jersey]'' See what this says? “Goon Squad.” You already made ''your'' choice, Dom. Right, Pete? ''He'' can’t… ''[see Pete whimpering]'' Pete, are you crying? ''[Pete wipe the tear in his eye and flew away]'' There’s no crying in the Serververse, Pete! ''[scoffs]'' Ohhhh, ''[Dom walk backs away and joined the Tune Squad]'' All right. Yeah, all right. ''I'' see how it is, Dom. ''[in distorted voice]'' ''I'' see how it is. '''I ''GAVE'' YOU EVERYTHING!'''
:''[Dom turns around walks away join Tunes]''
:'''Foghorn Leghorn''': I say, I say, good to have you, son.
:'''Daffy Duck''': Great spot for you right here, kid.
:'''Yosemite Sam''': We got ’em now!
:'''Speedy Gonzales''': Bienvenido, señorito! Somebody get him a new jersey.
:'''Elmer Fudd''': Welcome to the hunt.
:'''Sylvester''': Suffering succotash!
:'''Granny''': ''[holds a Tune Squad jersey no. 7]'' I made this for your son, just in case.
:'''LeBron James''': Thanks, Granny.
:'''Bugs Bunny''': Eh. What’s up, Dom?
:'''Lola Bunny''': Oh, it’s so nice to meet you. 
:''[LeBron gives Dom the Tune Squad no. 7 jersey]''
:'''LeBron James''': Here you go, Dom.
:'''Tweety''': Really glad to have you on the team!
:'''Dom James''': ''[holds a Tune Squad jersey no. 7]'' Thanks, Dad. ''[LeBron smiles]''
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': ''[angrily, offscreen]'' Fine! ''[LeBron, Dom and the Tune Squad turned looks at him standing on the center court]'' You want to join these ''losers?'' You go ahead, Dom. 'Cause it's not ''your'' game anymore, ''[in distorted voice]'' ''I am the game''! '''[[Kong: Skull Island|KING KONG]] ''AIN'T'' GOT NOTHIN' ON ME!'''
:''[King Kong gasps, and grunts and Al-G transformed himself into a giant basketball player.]''
:'''Lil Rel Howery''': Did you see that?
:'''Ernie Johnson Jr.''': Uh-huh.
:'''Lil Rel Howery''': The man just grew, like, 5 feet.
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': ''[distorted laugh and transformed into basketball player and wears ''Goon Squad'' jersey and the Goons behind him.]'' ''[in distorted voice]'' Yo, King! You're about to lose your family, your friends, those Tunes, and everything ''you'' love.
:'''LeBron James''': I don't think so.
:'''Bugs Bunny''': Oh, It's on. ''[fist-bumps LeBron with his ear]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': That's cute. But I thought I told you...
:'''LeBron James''': ''[to Al-G]'' What?!
:'''Lola Bunny''': Ugh!
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': ...it's my game now.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': Great. Posterized.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Lil Rel Howery''': The Tunes win! The Tunes win! ''[laughing]''
:'''Ernie Johnson Jr.''': Unbelievable! Al-G just got turned into a literal poster.
:'''Al-G Rhythm''': Oh, this is not how I wanted to go out!
:''[Pete shredded him, he is no more]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bugs Bunny''': We did it. ''[the Tune Squad looks sadly at him]'' We're all back together again.
:'''Lola Bunny''': ''[tearfully]'' Bugs?
:'''Bugs Bunny''': That’s all folks. ''[dies and rejuvenates]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Meanwhile, LeBron and his family return to the real world in the server room.]''
:'''LeBron James''': ''[offscreen]'' Son?
:'''Dom James''': Dad.
:''[LeBron and Dom hug each other]''
:'''LeBron James''': You’re all right, right?
:'''Dom James''': I’m good.
:'''LeBron James''': You’re sure?
:'''Dom James''': I’m good.
:'''LeBron James''': All right, let’s go home. Come here, boy.
:'''Xosha James''': Daddy!
:'''LeBron James''': Baby, hi. Xosha, hey!
:'''Xosha James''': Daddy!
:'''LeBron James''': Baby!
:'''Dom James''': Mom!
:'''LeBron James''': Missed y’all so much.
:'''Darius James''': Bro, that was amazing.
:'''Kamiyah James''': I’m so proud of you!
:'''LeBron James''': All my family. My goodness. I love you, guys.
:'''Kamiyah James''': We love you, too.
:'''LeBron James''': Come on, Malik. Come on in, man.
:'''Malik''': ''[tearfully]'' You the Bron, man!
:'''LeBron James''': It’s a family affair, man. Come on in.
:'''Malik''': ''[sobbing]'' LeBron! LeBron.
:'''LeBron James''': Hey, Malik, you good?
:'''Malik''': No. No, man.
:'''LeBron James''': You cryin’?
:'''Malik''': What?
:'''LeBron James''': All right.
:'''Malik''': I ain’t crying, bruh.
:'''LeBron James''': Okay.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[One week later]''
:'''LeBron James''': So, Dom, you ready for basketball camp?
:'''Dom James''': Yeah. I’m actually pretty excited.
:'''LeBron James''': Yeah? Because I know how much you really wanted…
:'''Dom James''': I think I’mma just take a break from video games for now. You know, after we…
:'''LeBron James''': Got sucked into one?
:'''Dom James''': Yeah.
:'''LeBron James''': Really? Because, like… I mean, I feel like I’ve made a mistake. I mean, we can turn around right now if you want to.
:'''Dom James''': What are you talking about?
:'''LeBron James''': Look. ''[Dom looks amazed at the sight of the computer coding camp]'' I mean, I figured it’s about time for you to do you.
:'''Dom James''': Thank you, Dad.
:'''LeBron James''': You’re welcome. Hey, man, have fun. Yo, Dom. Ball?
:'''Dom James''': I think I’mma hold onto it.
:''[LeBron James watches his son walk off to the camp, when suddenly...]''
:'''Bugs Bunny''': ''[offscreen]'' Aw, ''[LeBron looks at Bugs appears]'' that’s so sweet. What’s up, Doc?
:'''LeBron James''': ''[surprised]'' Bugs! How did you…?
:'''Bugs Bunny''': Come on. You didn’t think you’d get rid of me that easily, did you? I told ya, I’m a Tune, Doc! I can survive anything!
:'''LeBron James''': It’s good to see you, buddy.
:'''Bugs Bunny''': Oh, by the way, you think I could crash at your pad for a few days?
:'''LeBron James''': Of course. There’s more than enough room for you.
:'''Bugs Bunny''': Great! I’ve never been to Tinseltown. I wanna go on a star tour. I hear they love drinking juice here. Oh, do they make carrot juice?
:'''LeBron James''': They juice anything for you here.
:'''Bugs Bunny''': Oh, hey, can I stay for Taco Tuesday?
:'''LeBron James''': Taco Tuesday! No doubt.
:'''Bugs Bunny''': Hope you and Mrs. LeBron got bunk beds ’cause I got some friends who wanna visit.
:'''LeBron James''': Hold up, hold up. Bunk beds?
:'''Bugs Bunny''': That’s right. I brought the whole gang with me!
:'''LeBron James''': What do you mean, “the whole gang”?
:'''Bugs Bunny''': You can’t get rid of us now, Doc. We’re family!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Porky Pig''': Th-Th-Th-That's all, folks!

==Taglines==
* They're all Tuned up for a rematch.
* Get ready for the slam dunk of the summer.

== Cast ==
=== Live-Action Characters ===
* '''[[LeBron James|LeBron James — Himself]]'''
* '''[[Don Cheadle]]''' — Al-G Rhythm
* '''[[w:Cedric Joe|Cedric Joe]]''' — Dom James
* '''[[w:Khris Davis (actor)|Khris Davis]]''' — Malik
* '''[[w:Sonequa Martin-Green|Sonequa Martin-Green]]''' — Kamiyah James
* '''{{w|Ceyair Wright|Ceyair J. Wright}}''' — Darius James
* '''Harper Leigh Alexander''' — Xosha James
* '''[[w:Xosha Roquemore|Xosha Roquemore]]''' — Shanice James
* '''[[w:Ernie Johnson Jr.|Ernie Johnson Jr.]]'''&lt;br&gt;'''[[w:Lil Rel Howery|Lil Rel Howery]]''' — Game Announcers
* '''[[Michael B. Jordan|Michael B. Jordan — Himself]]'''

=== Character Voices ===
* '''[[w:Jeff Bergman|Jeff Bergman]]''' — [[w:Bugs Bunny|Bugs Bunny]], [[w:Sylvester the Cat|Sylvester]], [[w:Yosemite Sam|Yosemite Sam]]
* '''{{w|Seth Rogen}}''' – [[w:Yogi Bear|Yogi Bear]]
* '''[[Zendaya]]''' — [[w:Lola Bunny|Lola Bunny]]
* '''[[Gabriel Iglesias|Gabriel &quot;Gaby&quot; Iglesias]]''' — [[w:Speedy Gonzales|Speedy Gonzales]]
* '''[[w:Eric Bauza|Eric Bauza]]''' — [[w:Daffy Duck|Daffy Duck]], [[w:Porky Pig|Porky Pig]], [[w:Foghorn Leghorn|Foghorn Leghorn]], [[w:Elmer Fudd|Elmer Fudd]], [[w:Marvin the Martian|Marvin the Martian]]
* '''[[w:Candi Milo|Candy Milo]]''' — [[w:Granny (Looney Tunes)|Granny]]
* '''[[w:Bob Bergen|Bob Bergen]]''' — [[w:Tweety|Tweety Bird]]
* '''[[w:Jim Cummings|Jim Cummings]]''' (credited) and '''[[w:Fred Tatasciore|Fred Tatasciore]]''' — [[w:Tasmanian Devil (Looney Tunes)|Tasmanian Devil]]
* '''[[w:Rosario Dawson|Rosario Dawson]]''' — [[w:Wonder Woman|Wonder Woman]]
* '''[[w:Justin Roiland|Justin Roiland]]''' — Rick and Morty
* '''[[w:Anthony Davis|Anthony Davis]]''' — The Brow
* '''[[Damian Lillard]]''' — Chronos
* '''[[w:Klay Thompson|Klay Thompson]]''' — Wet-Fire
* '''[[Nneka Ogwumike]]''' — Arachnneka
* '''[[w:Diana Taurasi|Diana Taurasi]]''' — White Mamba

==== Additional Voices ====
* '''[[w:Kimberly Brooks|Kimberly D. Brooks]]'''
* '''[[Tom Hanks]]''' — Polar Express Conductor
* '''[[Frank Welker]]''' — [[W:Scooby-Doo (character)|Scooby-Doo]], [[w:Astro (The Jetsons)|Astro]]
* '''[[w:Will Forte|Will Forte]]''' — [[w:Shaggy Rogers|Shaggy Rogers]]
* '''[[w:Gina Rodriguez|Gina Rodriguez]]''' — [[w:Velma Dinkley|Velma Dinkley]]
* '''[[w:Zac Efron|Zac Efron]]''' — [[w:Fred Jones (Scooby-Doo)|Fred Jones]]
* '''[[Amanda Seyfried]]''' — [[w:Daphne Blake|Daphne Blake]]
* '''[[Mark Wahlberg]]''' — [[Scoob!|Brian Crown / Blue Falcon]]
* '''[[w:Ken Jeong|Ken Jeong]]''' — [[w:Dynomutt|Dynomutt]]
* '''[[w:Jason Isaacs|Jason Isaacs]]''' — [[w:Dick Dastardly|Dick Dastardly]]
* '''[[w:Billy West|Billy West]] — [[w:Muttley|Muttley]]
* '''[[w:Channing Tatum|Channing Tatum]]''' — Migo

== See also ==
* [[LeBron James]]
* ''[[Looney Tunes: Back in Action]]''
* ''[[Space Jam]]''

== External Links ==
{{Sister project links|w=Space Jam: A New Legacy|wikt=no|b=no|s=no|commons=Category:Space Jam: A New Legacy|n=no|v=no|species=no|d=Q56850065|voy=no|m=no|mw=no}}
*{{wikipedia-inline}}
*{{Commonscat-inline}}
*{{IMDb title|id=3554046|title=Space Jam: A New Legacy}}

{{Space Jam}}
{{Looney Tunes}}
{{Scooby-Doo}}
{{Yogi Bear}}
{{The Jetsons}}
{{The Flintstones}}
{{Wacky Races}}
{{DC Comics}}
{{Austin Powers}}
{{Warner Animation Group}}
{{Authority control}}

[[Category:2021 American films]]
[[Category:2021 American animated films]]
[[Category:2021 computer-animated films]]
[[Category:Space Jam]]
[[Category:Looney Tunes films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated films]]
[[Category:American 3D animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction films]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy films]]
[[Category:American films with live action and animation]]
[[Category:American crossover animated films]]
[[Category:African-American sports comedy films]]
[[Category:African-American animated films]]
[[Category:American sequel films]]
[[Category:Animated films about rabbits and hares]]
[[Category:Films about LeBron James]]
[[Category:American basketball films]]
[[Category:American sports comedy films]]
[[Category:Animated films about father–son relationships]]
[[Category:Animated films about artificial intelligence]]
[[Category:Films about artificial intelligence]]
[[Category:Films about video games]]
[[Category:Animated films about ducks]]
[[Category:Animated films about parallel universes]]
[[Category:Films directed by Malcolm D. Lee]]
[[Category:Screenplays by Terence Nance]]
[[Category:Animated films set in Los Angeles]]
[[Category:Films set in the 1990s]]
[[Category:Films set in the 2010s]]
[[Category:Censored films]]
[[Category:Films impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic]]
[[Category:Warner Bros. Discovery]]
[[Category:Censored films]]</text>
      <sha1>tea8rzkoygvyjz2q3r9p5xkefw31cue</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Teen Titans Go! (season 1)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>240753</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943854</id>
      <parentid>3905582</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T12:29:15Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30525-02</username>
        <id>3326381</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943854</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="5129" sha1="3f630opeydunzhr1wuqo6dd406tgpwr" xml:space="preserve">Teen Titans Go sucks

:'''Beast Boy''': (in pig form)What Raven?
:'''Raven''': well you get a pass,but you guys are disgusting
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
[Aww in Amazement]
:'''Beast Boy''': Delicious
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin''': we have no idea were to look
:'''Raven''': make no mistake (Summons her legend book) 
the Bacon hidden away in one of volcanoes
:'''Cyborg''': I got heat resistance baby I'm on it
:'''Raven''': Next is the lettuce hidden underground
:'''Beast Boy''': I can dig it (transforms into a mole and digs underground)
:'''Raven''': then there's the stella-Tomato hidden among the stars

===[2|2]Pie Bros===
:'''Cyborg''': I'd like to thank you all for coming,you Know taking time off from your jobs (glares at beast boy angrily and drops the glass)oh oh I guess someone is gonna have clean that up (throws a pie on the ground)man I am so clumsy today,(throws another pie)oh cleaning crew I guess beast Boy has to come over and (Beast boy throws the pie on Cyborg's face)
:'''Beast Boy''': How dumb can you be, I'm only making some few extra bucks so I can buy an expensive present
:'''cyborg''': I didn't tell get a job
:'''Beast Boy''': But an Hallucination of you did and the real you made fun of my pie suit.
[Cyborg loads his Arm cannon with Pies and starts shooting at Beast Boy and Beast Boy Grabs the pies and their pie war continues]

===[3]Driver's Ed===
:'''Robin''': beast boy there is an emergency get the car we got to go (as they leave,the boss on the video game destroys beast boy's avatar ending the game with '''''GAME OVER''''')
:'''Beast boy''': what's the emergency
:'''Robin''':we gotta monster to deal with,a monster case of the munchies
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin''': guys get the car we gotta go (the other Titans ignore him) guys it's an emergency Go!Go!Go!(the other Titans still ignore him) guys emergency
:'''Raven''':oh yeah what's the big emergency?
:'''Robin''': everything is half off at the dollar store
:'''Cyborg''':man you have been bugging us with these rides all week,you know you know mest up my daily back up right your glad I didn't lose any important data

===[4]Dog Hand===
:'''Beast Boy''': hey rae rae what's going on you know more than usual,uh!(Raven zaps Beast Boy literary into dust)
:'''Raven''':I don't want to talk about it
:'''Cyborg''':Come on sing little birdy (Raven transforms into her demon form and traps Cyborg to the fridge with her tentacles)
:'''Raven''':I said I don't want to talk about it
:'''Cyborg''':And I totally respect that
:'''Robin''':Raven
:'''Raven''':fine(revives beast boy and let's cyborg go)my father...is coming
Robin:oh no
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Raven''':You don't know how annoying my dad can be
:'''Starfire''':(Earth teen voice)Dude you got it twisted your father is the bom
:'''Raven''':Why are you talking like that?,how are you talking like that?
:'''Beast Boy''':(in shape of a green cup that Raven is drinking from)your dad gave her the power to speak like an earth teen
:'''Raven''':(spits out the water) uh
:'''Beast Boy''':and he gave me the power to transform into anything I want(transforms into a bean bag)
:'''Raven''':and you chose to be a bean bag
:'''Beast Boy''':now I can veg out on my self
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin''':notice anything different Raven
:'''Raven''':your twitching
:'''Robin''':yep(flexes some parts of his body and rips the TV from the cables and throws towards Raven and Cyborg but they quickly dodge it)
:'''Raven''':what you didn't want anything from my dad
:'''Cyborg''': cause not,he gave me a dog for a hand(while the dog Lick's him)quite it quite it,(the dog hand continues licking him)I love you so much dog hand, I just I just,I love you so much

===[5]Double Trouble===
(Cyborg runs through the forest,a dinosaur chasing him roars of screen the dinosaur gets closer and grabs hin with it's teeth and seemingly eats him)
:'''Cyborg''': (screams)let me out it stinks in here (The dinosaur, actually beast boy spits cyborg out and de-transform)
:'''Beast Boy''': (laughs)you lose again chrome dome
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Cyborg''': Easy for to say (terrified) I don't wanna get eaten
:'''Beast Boy''': then you better start running because (yells)you got thirty seconds (closes his eyes and begins to count while cyborg runs away)1 messzoe 2 messzoe

===[25]Colors of Raven===
:'''Red Raven''': I told you not to mess around with that thing! ''[slaps Cyborg in the face]''
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin''': It seems the prism has divided Raven into the five core parts of her personality. Purple is her passion.
:'''Cyborg''': Red is her rage.
:'''Starfire''': Pink, her happiness.
:'''Beast Boy''': Orange, her laziness.
:'''Robin''': And gray is her timidity.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Red Raven''': Can't a person get a decent non-dancing breakfast around here?!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Red Raven''': You're not gonna use that on us. I don't want to be combined with these losers.
:'''Gray Raven''': That looks too scary to me.
:'''Purple Raven''': ''[hugging Beast Boy]'' I'll go if you come with.
:'''Orange Raven''': I'm good with whatever.
:'''Red Raven''': Let's get out of here!

[[Category:Teen Titans]]</text>
      <sha1>3f630opeydunzhr1wuqo6dd406tgpwr</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943855</id>
      <parentid>3943854</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T12:29:45Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>NDG</username>
        <id>3229930</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>Reverted edit by [[Special:Contributions/~2026-30525-02|~2026-30525-02]] ([[User talk:~2026-30525-02|talk]]) to last version by Saroj</comment>
      <origin>3859837</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="5581" sha1="p1bmh7pib1twad03k0dxoaewzspeiff" xml:space="preserve">''[[Teen Titans Go! (TV series)|Teen Titans Go!]]'' is an American animated television series based on the DC Comics fictional superhero team, the Teen Titans. The series is a more comedic take on the DC Comics franchise, dealing with situations that happen every day.

==Season 1==
===[1|1]Legendary Sandwich===
:'''Cyborg''': It's like a metaphor (High fives Robin) '''booyah!'''
[Chewing]

[Mmm noises]
:'''Raven''': (disgusted)arg you guys eat like animals
[Pig noises]
:'''Beast Boy''': (in pig form)What Raven?
:'''Raven''': well you get a pass,but you guys are disgusting
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
[Aww in Amazement]
:'''Beast Boy''': Delicious
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin''': we have no idea were to look
:'''Raven''': make no mistake (Summons her legend book) 
the Bacon hidden away in one of volcanoes
:'''Cyborg''': I got heat resistance baby I'm on it
:'''Raven''': Next is the lettuce hidden underground
:'''Beast Boy''': I can dig it (transforms into a mole and digs underground)
:'''Raven''': then there's the stella-Tomato hidden among the stars

===[2|2]Pie Bros===
:'''Cyborg''': I'd like to thank you all for coming,you Know taking time off from your jobs (glares at beast boy angrily and drops the glass)oh oh I guess someone is gonna have clean that up (throws a pie on the ground)man I am so clumsy today,(throws another pie)oh cleaning crew I guess beast Boy has to come over and (Beast boy throws the pie on Cyborg's face)
:'''Beast Boy''': How dumb can you be, I'm only making some few extra bucks so I can buy an expensive present
:'''cyborg''': I didn't tell get a job
:'''Beast Boy''': But an Hallucination of you did and the real you made fun of my pie suit.
[Cyborg loads his Arm cannon with Pies and starts shooting at Beast Boy and Beast Boy Grabs the pies and their pie war continues]

===[3]Driver's Ed===
:'''Robin''': beast boy there is an emergency get the car we got to go (as they leave,the boss on the video game destroys beast boy's avatar ending the game with '''''GAME OVER''''')
:'''Beast boy''': what's the emergency
:'''Robin''':we gotta monster to deal with,a monster case of the munchies
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin''': guys get the car we gotta go (the other Titans ignore him) guys it's an emergency Go!Go!Go!(the other Titans still ignore him) guys emergency
:'''Raven''':oh yeah what's the big emergency?
:'''Robin''': everything is half off at the dollar store
:'''Cyborg''':man you have been bugging us with these rides all week,you know you know mest up my daily back up right your glad I didn't lose any important data

===[4]Dog Hand===
:'''Beast Boy''': hey rae rae what's going on you know more than usual,uh!(Raven zaps Beast Boy literary into dust)
:'''Raven''':I don't want to talk about it
:'''Cyborg''':Come on sing little birdy (Raven transforms into her demon form and traps Cyborg to the fridge with her tentacles)
:'''Raven''':I said I don't want to talk about it
:'''Cyborg''':And I totally respect that
:'''Robin''':Raven
:'''Raven''':fine(revives beast boy and let's cyborg go)my father...is coming
Robin:oh no
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Raven''':You don't know how annoying my dad can be
:'''Starfire''':(Earth teen voice)Dude you got it twisted your father is the bom
:'''Raven''':Why are you talking like that?,how are you talking like that?
:'''Beast Boy''':(in shape of a green cup that Raven is drinking from)your dad gave her the power to speak like an earth teen
:'''Raven''':(spits out the water) uh
:'''Beast Boy''':and he gave me the power to transform into anything I want(transforms into a bean bag)
:'''Raven''':and you chose to be a bean bag
:'''Beast Boy''':now I can veg out on my self
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin''':notice anything different Raven
:'''Raven''':your twitching
:'''Robin''':yep(flexes some parts of his body and rips the TV from the cables and throws towards Raven and Cyborg but they quickly dodge it)
:'''Raven''':what you didn't want anything from my dad
:'''Cyborg''': cause not,he gave me a dog for a hand(while the dog Lick's him)quite it quite it,(the dog hand continues licking him)I love you so much dog hand, I just I just,I love you so much

===[5]Double Trouble===
(Cyborg runs through the forest,a dinosaur chasing him roars of screen the dinosaur gets closer and grabs hin with it's teeth and seemingly eats him)
:'''Cyborg''': (screams)let me out it stinks in here (The dinosaur, actually beast boy spits cyborg out and de-transform)
:'''Beast Boy''': (laughs)you lose again chrome dome
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Cyborg''': Easy for to say (terrified) I don't wanna get eaten
:'''Beast Boy''': then you better start running because (yells)you got thirty seconds (closes his eyes and begins to count while cyborg runs away)1 messzoe 2 messzoe

===[25]Colors of Raven===
:'''Red Raven''': I told you not to mess around with that thing! ''[slaps Cyborg in the face]''
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin''': It seems the prism has divided Raven into the five core parts of her personality. Purple is her passion.
:'''Cyborg''': Red is her rage.
:'''Starfire''': Pink, her happiness.
:'''Beast Boy''': Orange, her laziness.
:'''Robin''': And gray is her timidity.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Red Raven''': Can't a person get a decent non-dancing breakfast around here?!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Red Raven''': You're not gonna use that on us. I don't want to be combined with these losers.
:'''Gray Raven''': That looks too scary to me.
:'''Purple Raven''': ''[hugging Beast Boy]'' I'll go if you come with.
:'''Orange Raven''': I'm good with whatever.
:'''Red Raven''': Let's get out of here!

[[Category:Teen Titans]]</text>
      <sha1>p1bmh7pib1twad03k0dxoaewzspeiff</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943856</id>
      <parentid>3943855</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T12:32:33Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30525-02</username>
        <id>3326381</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943856</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3186" sha1="sgofwr49qzjopsle7v8s3sxu29f5ags" xml:space="preserve">teen titans go is trash

==Season 1==
===[1|1]Legendary Sandwich===
:'''Cyborg''': It's like a metaphor (High fives Robin) '''booyah!'''
[Chewing]

[Mmm noises]
:'''Raven''': (disgusted)arg you guys eat like animals
[Pig noises]
:'''Beast Boy''': (in pig form)What Raven?
:'''Raven''': well you get a pass,but you guys are disgusting
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
[Aww in Amazement]
:'''Beast Boy''': Delicious
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin''': we have no idea were to look
:'''Raven''': make no mistake (Summons her legend book) 
the Bacon hidden away in one of volcanoes
:'''Cyborg''': I got heat resistance baby I'm on it
:'''Raven''': Next is the lettuce hidden underground
:'''Beast Boy''': I can dig it (transforms into a mole and digs underground)
:'''Raven''': then there's the stella-Tomato hidden among the stars

===[2|2]Pie Bros===
:'''Cyborg''': I'd like to thank you all for coming,you Know taking time off from your jobs (glares at beast boy angrily and drops the glass)oh oh I guess someone is gonna have clean that up (throws a pie on the ground)man I am so clumsy today,(throws another pie)oh cleaning crew I guess beast Boy has to come over and (Beast boy throws the pie on Cyborg's face)
:'''Beast Boy''': How dumb can you be, I'm only making some few extra bucks so I can buy an expensive present
:'''cyborg''': I didn't tell get a job
:'''Beast Boy''': But an Hallucination of you did and the real you made fun of my pie suit.
[Cyborg loads his Arm cannon with Pies and starts shooting at Beast Boy and Beast Boy Grabs the pies and their pie war continues]

===[3]Driver's Ed===
:'''Robin''': beast boy there is an emergency get the car we got to go (as they leave,the boss on the video game destroys beast boy's avatar ending the game with '''''GAME OVER''''')
:'''Beast boy''': what's the emergency
:'''Robin''':we gotta monster to deal with,a monster case of the munchies
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin''': guys get the car we gotta go (the other Titans ignore him) guys it's an emergency Go!Go!Go!(the other Titans still ignore him) guys emergency
:'''Raven''':oh yeah what's the big emergency?
:'''Robin''': everything is half off at the dollar store
:'''Cyborg''':man you have been bugging us with these rides all week,you know you know mest up my daily back up right your glad I didn't lose any important data

===[4]Dog Hand==
:'''Beast Boy''': i love porn
:'''Red Raven''': I told you not to mess around with that thing! ''[slaps Cyborg in the face]''
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin''': It seems the prism has divided Raven into the five core parts of her personality. Purple is her passion.
:'''Cyborg''': Red is her rage.
:'''Starfire''': Pink, her happiness.
:'''Beast Boy''': Orange, her laziness.
:'''Robin''': And gray is her timidity.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Red Raven''': Can't a person get a decent non-dancing breakfast around here?!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Red Raven''': You're not gonna use that on us. I don't want to be combined with these losers.
:'''Gray Raven''': That looks too scary to me.
:'''Purple Raven''': ''[hugging Beast Boy]'' I'll go if you come with.
:'''Orange Raven''': I'm good with whatever.
:'''Red Raven''': Let's get out of here!

[[Category:Teen Titans]]</text>
      <sha1>sgofwr49qzjopsle7v8s3sxu29f5ags</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943857</id>
      <parentid>3943856</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T12:33:48Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>NDG</username>
        <id>3229930</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>Reverted edits by [[Special:Contribs/~2026-30525-02|~2026-30525-02]] ([[User talk:~2026-30525-02|talk]]) to last version by NDG: reverting vandalism</comment>
      <origin>3859837</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="5581" sha1="p1bmh7pib1twad03k0dxoaewzspeiff" xml:space="preserve">''[[Teen Titans Go! (TV series)|Teen Titans Go!]]'' is an American animated television series based on the DC Comics fictional superhero team, the Teen Titans. The series is a more comedic take on the DC Comics franchise, dealing with situations that happen every day.

==Season 1==
===[1|1]Legendary Sandwich===
:'''Cyborg''': It's like a metaphor (High fives Robin) '''booyah!'''
[Chewing]

[Mmm noises]
:'''Raven''': (disgusted)arg you guys eat like animals
[Pig noises]
:'''Beast Boy''': (in pig form)What Raven?
:'''Raven''': well you get a pass,but you guys are disgusting
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
[Aww in Amazement]
:'''Beast Boy''': Delicious
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin''': we have no idea were to look
:'''Raven''': make no mistake (Summons her legend book) 
the Bacon hidden away in one of volcanoes
:'''Cyborg''': I got heat resistance baby I'm on it
:'''Raven''': Next is the lettuce hidden underground
:'''Beast Boy''': I can dig it (transforms into a mole and digs underground)
:'''Raven''': then there's the stella-Tomato hidden among the stars

===[2|2]Pie Bros===
:'''Cyborg''': I'd like to thank you all for coming,you Know taking time off from your jobs (glares at beast boy angrily and drops the glass)oh oh I guess someone is gonna have clean that up (throws a pie on the ground)man I am so clumsy today,(throws another pie)oh cleaning crew I guess beast Boy has to come over and (Beast boy throws the pie on Cyborg's face)
:'''Beast Boy''': How dumb can you be, I'm only making some few extra bucks so I can buy an expensive present
:'''cyborg''': I didn't tell get a job
:'''Beast Boy''': But an Hallucination of you did and the real you made fun of my pie suit.
[Cyborg loads his Arm cannon with Pies and starts shooting at Beast Boy and Beast Boy Grabs the pies and their pie war continues]

===[3]Driver's Ed===
:'''Robin''': beast boy there is an emergency get the car we got to go (as they leave,the boss on the video game destroys beast boy's avatar ending the game with '''''GAME OVER''''')
:'''Beast boy''': what's the emergency
:'''Robin''':we gotta monster to deal with,a monster case of the munchies
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin''': guys get the car we gotta go (the other Titans ignore him) guys it's an emergency Go!Go!Go!(the other Titans still ignore him) guys emergency
:'''Raven''':oh yeah what's the big emergency?
:'''Robin''': everything is half off at the dollar store
:'''Cyborg''':man you have been bugging us with these rides all week,you know you know mest up my daily back up right your glad I didn't lose any important data

===[4]Dog Hand===
:'''Beast Boy''': hey rae rae what's going on you know more than usual,uh!(Raven zaps Beast Boy literary into dust)
:'''Raven''':I don't want to talk about it
:'''Cyborg''':Come on sing little birdy (Raven transforms into her demon form and traps Cyborg to the fridge with her tentacles)
:'''Raven''':I said I don't want to talk about it
:'''Cyborg''':And I totally respect that
:'''Robin''':Raven
:'''Raven''':fine(revives beast boy and let's cyborg go)my father...is coming
Robin:oh no
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Raven''':You don't know how annoying my dad can be
:'''Starfire''':(Earth teen voice)Dude you got it twisted your father is the bom
:'''Raven''':Why are you talking like that?,how are you talking like that?
:'''Beast Boy''':(in shape of a green cup that Raven is drinking from)your dad gave her the power to speak like an earth teen
:'''Raven''':(spits out the water) uh
:'''Beast Boy''':and he gave me the power to transform into anything I want(transforms into a bean bag)
:'''Raven''':and you chose to be a bean bag
:'''Beast Boy''':now I can veg out on my self
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin''':notice anything different Raven
:'''Raven''':your twitching
:'''Robin''':yep(flexes some parts of his body and rips the TV from the cables and throws towards Raven and Cyborg but they quickly dodge it)
:'''Raven''':what you didn't want anything from my dad
:'''Cyborg''': cause not,he gave me a dog for a hand(while the dog Lick's him)quite it quite it,(the dog hand continues licking him)I love you so much dog hand, I just I just,I love you so much

===[5]Double Trouble===
(Cyborg runs through the forest,a dinosaur chasing him roars of screen the dinosaur gets closer and grabs hin with it's teeth and seemingly eats him)
:'''Cyborg''': (screams)let me out it stinks in here (The dinosaur, actually beast boy spits cyborg out and de-transform)
:'''Beast Boy''': (laughs)you lose again chrome dome
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Cyborg''': Easy for to say (terrified) I don't wanna get eaten
:'''Beast Boy''': then you better start running because (yells)you got thirty seconds (closes his eyes and begins to count while cyborg runs away)1 messzoe 2 messzoe

===[25]Colors of Raven===
:'''Red Raven''': I told you not to mess around with that thing! ''[slaps Cyborg in the face]''
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin''': It seems the prism has divided Raven into the five core parts of her personality. Purple is her passion.
:'''Cyborg''': Red is her rage.
:'''Starfire''': Pink, her happiness.
:'''Beast Boy''': Orange, her laziness.
:'''Robin''': And gray is her timidity.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Red Raven''': Can't a person get a decent non-dancing breakfast around here?!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Red Raven''': You're not gonna use that on us. I don't want to be combined with these losers.
:'''Gray Raven''': That looks too scary to me.
:'''Purple Raven''': ''[hugging Beast Boy]'' I'll go if you come with.
:'''Orange Raven''': I'm good with whatever.
:'''Red Raven''': Let's get out of here!

[[Category:Teen Titans]]</text>
      <sha1>p1bmh7pib1twad03k0dxoaewzspeiff</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943860</id>
      <parentid>3943857</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:02:45Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>03isrflo62410</username>
        <id>1485946</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>This page needs cleanup.</comment>
      <origin>3943860</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="5593" sha1="i6xcj7jz1rjjzsqzznomxhnf63sfvue" xml:space="preserve">{{cleanup}}
''[[Teen Titans Go! (TV series)|Teen Titans Go!]]'' is an American animated television series based on the DC Comics fictional superhero team, the Teen Titans. The series is a more comedic take on the DC Comics franchise, dealing with situations that happen every day.

==Season 1==
===[1|1]Legendary Sandwich===
:'''Cyborg''': It's like a metaphor (High fives Robin) '''booyah!'''
[Chewing]

[Mmm noises]
:'''Raven''': (disgusted)arg you guys eat like animals
[Pig noises]
:'''Beast Boy''': (in pig form)What Raven?
:'''Raven''': well you get a pass,but you guys are disgusting
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
[Aww in Amazement]
:'''Beast Boy''': Delicious
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin''': we have no idea were to look
:'''Raven''': make no mistake (Summons her legend book) 
the Bacon hidden away in one of volcanoes
:'''Cyborg''': I got heat resistance baby I'm on it
:'''Raven''': Next is the lettuce hidden underground
:'''Beast Boy''': I can dig it (transforms into a mole and digs underground)
:'''Raven''': then there's the stella-Tomato hidden among the stars

===[2|2]Pie Bros===
:'''Cyborg''': I'd like to thank you all for coming,you Know taking time off from your jobs (glares at beast boy angrily and drops the glass)oh oh I guess someone is gonna have clean that up (throws a pie on the ground)man I am so clumsy today,(throws another pie)oh cleaning crew I guess beast Boy has to come over and (Beast boy throws the pie on Cyborg's face)
:'''Beast Boy''': How dumb can you be, I'm only making some few extra bucks so I can buy an expensive present
:'''cyborg''': I didn't tell get a job
:'''Beast Boy''': But an Hallucination of you did and the real you made fun of my pie suit.
[Cyborg loads his Arm cannon with Pies and starts shooting at Beast Boy and Beast Boy Grabs the pies and their pie war continues]

===[3]Driver's Ed===
:'''Robin''': beast boy there is an emergency get the car we got to go (as they leave,the boss on the video game destroys beast boy's avatar ending the game with '''''GAME OVER''''')
:'''Beast boy''': what's the emergency
:'''Robin''':we gotta monster to deal with,a monster case of the munchies
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin''': guys get the car we gotta go (the other Titans ignore him) guys it's an emergency Go!Go!Go!(the other Titans still ignore him) guys emergency
:'''Raven''':oh yeah what's the big emergency?
:'''Robin''': everything is half off at the dollar store
:'''Cyborg''':man you have been bugging us with these rides all week,you know you know mest up my daily back up right your glad I didn't lose any important data

===[4]Dog Hand===
:'''Beast Boy''': hey rae rae what's going on you know more than usual,uh!(Raven zaps Beast Boy literary into dust)
:'''Raven''':I don't want to talk about it
:'''Cyborg''':Come on sing little birdy (Raven transforms into her demon form and traps Cyborg to the fridge with her tentacles)
:'''Raven''':I said I don't want to talk about it
:'''Cyborg''':And I totally respect that
:'''Robin''':Raven
:'''Raven''':fine(revives beast boy and let's cyborg go)my father...is coming
Robin:oh no
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Raven''':You don't know how annoying my dad can be
:'''Starfire''':(Earth teen voice)Dude you got it twisted your father is the bom
:'''Raven''':Why are you talking like that?,how are you talking like that?
:'''Beast Boy''':(in shape of a green cup that Raven is drinking from)your dad gave her the power to speak like an earth teen
:'''Raven''':(spits out the water) uh
:'''Beast Boy''':and he gave me the power to transform into anything I want(transforms into a bean bag)
:'''Raven''':and you chose to be a bean bag
:'''Beast Boy''':now I can veg out on my self
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin''':notice anything different Raven
:'''Raven''':your twitching
:'''Robin''':yep(flexes some parts of his body and rips the TV from the cables and throws towards Raven and Cyborg but they quickly dodge it)
:'''Raven''':what you didn't want anything from my dad
:'''Cyborg''': cause not,he gave me a dog for a hand(while the dog Lick's him)quite it quite it,(the dog hand continues licking him)I love you so much dog hand, I just I just,I love you so much

===[5]Double Trouble===
(Cyborg runs through the forest,a dinosaur chasing him roars of screen the dinosaur gets closer and grabs hin with it's teeth and seemingly eats him)
:'''Cyborg''': (screams)let me out it stinks in here (The dinosaur, actually beast boy spits cyborg out and de-transform)
:'''Beast Boy''': (laughs)you lose again chrome dome
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Cyborg''': Easy for to say (terrified) I don't wanna get eaten
:'''Beast Boy''': then you better start running because (yells)you got thirty seconds (closes his eyes and begins to count while cyborg runs away)1 messzoe 2 messzoe

===[25]Colors of Raven===
:'''Red Raven''': I told you not to mess around with that thing! ''[slaps Cyborg in the face]''
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin''': It seems the prism has divided Raven into the five core parts of her personality. Purple is her passion.
:'''Cyborg''': Red is her rage.
:'''Starfire''': Pink, her happiness.
:'''Beast Boy''': Orange, her laziness.
:'''Robin''': And gray is her timidity.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Red Raven''': Can't a person get a decent non-dancing breakfast around here?!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Red Raven''': You're not gonna use that on us. I don't want to be combined with these losers.
:'''Gray Raven''': That looks too scary to me.
:'''Purple Raven''': ''[hugging Beast Boy]'' I'll go if you come with.
:'''Orange Raven''': I'm good with whatever.
:'''Red Raven''': Let's get out of here!

[[Category:Teen Titans]]</text>
      <sha1>i6xcj7jz1rjjzsqzznomxhnf63sfvue</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943940</id>
      <parentid>3943860</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:57:40Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30525-02</username>
        <id>3326381</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943940</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3186" sha1="sgofwr49qzjopsle7v8s3sxu29f5ags" xml:space="preserve">teen titans go is trash

==Season 1==
===[1|1]Legendary Sandwich===
:'''Cyborg''': It's like a metaphor (High fives Robin) '''booyah!'''
[Chewing]

[Mmm noises]
:'''Raven''': (disgusted)arg you guys eat like animals
[Pig noises]
:'''Beast Boy''': (in pig form)What Raven?
:'''Raven''': well you get a pass,but you guys are disgusting
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
[Aww in Amazement]
:'''Beast Boy''': Delicious
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin''': we have no idea were to look
:'''Raven''': make no mistake (Summons her legend book) 
the Bacon hidden away in one of volcanoes
:'''Cyborg''': I got heat resistance baby I'm on it
:'''Raven''': Next is the lettuce hidden underground
:'''Beast Boy''': I can dig it (transforms into a mole and digs underground)
:'''Raven''': then there's the stella-Tomato hidden among the stars

===[2|2]Pie Bros===
:'''Cyborg''': I'd like to thank you all for coming,you Know taking time off from your jobs (glares at beast boy angrily and drops the glass)oh oh I guess someone is gonna have clean that up (throws a pie on the ground)man I am so clumsy today,(throws another pie)oh cleaning crew I guess beast Boy has to come over and (Beast boy throws the pie on Cyborg's face)
:'''Beast Boy''': How dumb can you be, I'm only making some few extra bucks so I can buy an expensive present
:'''cyborg''': I didn't tell get a job
:'''Beast Boy''': But an Hallucination of you did and the real you made fun of my pie suit.
[Cyborg loads his Arm cannon with Pies and starts shooting at Beast Boy and Beast Boy Grabs the pies and their pie war continues]

===[3]Driver's Ed===
:'''Robin''': beast boy there is an emergency get the car we got to go (as they leave,the boss on the video game destroys beast boy's avatar ending the game with '''''GAME OVER''''')
:'''Beast boy''': what's the emergency
:'''Robin''':we gotta monster to deal with,a monster case of the munchies
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin''': guys get the car we gotta go (the other Titans ignore him) guys it's an emergency Go!Go!Go!(the other Titans still ignore him) guys emergency
:'''Raven''':oh yeah what's the big emergency?
:'''Robin''': everything is half off at the dollar store
:'''Cyborg''':man you have been bugging us with these rides all week,you know you know mest up my daily back up right your glad I didn't lose any important data

===[4]Dog Hand==
:'''Beast Boy''': i love porn
:'''Red Raven''': I told you not to mess around with that thing! ''[slaps Cyborg in the face]''
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin''': It seems the prism has divided Raven into the five core parts of her personality. Purple is her passion.
:'''Cyborg''': Red is her rage.
:'''Starfire''': Pink, her happiness.
:'''Beast Boy''': Orange, her laziness.
:'''Robin''': And gray is her timidity.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Red Raven''': Can't a person get a decent non-dancing breakfast around here?!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Red Raven''': You're not gonna use that on us. I don't want to be combined with these losers.
:'''Gray Raven''': That looks too scary to me.
:'''Purple Raven''': ''[hugging Beast Boy]'' I'll go if you come with.
:'''Orange Raven''': I'm good with whatever.
:'''Red Raven''': Let's get out of here!

[[Category:Teen Titans]]</text>
      <sha1>sgofwr49qzjopsle7v8s3sxu29f5ags</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943942</id>
      <parentid>3943940</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:59:36Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>03isrflo62410</username>
        <id>1485946</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943942</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="5593" sha1="i6xcj7jz1rjjzsqzznomxhnf63sfvue" xml:space="preserve">{{cleanup}}
''[[Teen Titans Go! (TV series)|Teen Titans Go!]]'' is an American animated television series based on the DC Comics fictional superhero team, the Teen Titans. The series is a more comedic take on the DC Comics franchise, dealing with situations that happen every day.

==Season 1==
===[1|1]Legendary Sandwich===
:'''Cyborg''': It's like a metaphor (High fives Robin) '''booyah!'''
[Chewing]

[Mmm noises]
:'''Raven''': (disgusted)arg you guys eat like animals
[Pig noises]
:'''Beast Boy''': (in pig form)What Raven?
:'''Raven''': well you get a pass,but you guys are disgusting
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
[Aww in Amazement]
:'''Beast Boy''': Delicious
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin''': we have no idea were to look
:'''Raven''': make no mistake (Summons her legend book) 
the Bacon hidden away in one of volcanoes
:'''Cyborg''': I got heat resistance baby I'm on it
:'''Raven''': Next is the lettuce hidden underground
:'''Beast Boy''': I can dig it (transforms into a mole and digs underground)
:'''Raven''': then there's the stella-Tomato hidden among the stars

===[2|2]Pie Bros===
:'''Cyborg''': I'd like to thank you all for coming,you Know taking time off from your jobs (glares at beast boy angrily and drops the glass)oh oh I guess someone is gonna have clean that up (throws a pie on the ground)man I am so clumsy today,(throws another pie)oh cleaning crew I guess beast Boy has to come over and (Beast boy throws the pie on Cyborg's face)
:'''Beast Boy''': How dumb can you be, I'm only making some few extra bucks so I can buy an expensive present
:'''cyborg''': I didn't tell get a job
:'''Beast Boy''': But an Hallucination of you did and the real you made fun of my pie suit.
[Cyborg loads his Arm cannon with Pies and starts shooting at Beast Boy and Beast Boy Grabs the pies and their pie war continues]

===[3]Driver's Ed===
:'''Robin''': beast boy there is an emergency get the car we got to go (as they leave,the boss on the video game destroys beast boy's avatar ending the game with '''''GAME OVER''''')
:'''Beast boy''': what's the emergency
:'''Robin''':we gotta monster to deal with,a monster case of the munchies
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin''': guys get the car we gotta go (the other Titans ignore him) guys it's an emergency Go!Go!Go!(the other Titans still ignore him) guys emergency
:'''Raven''':oh yeah what's the big emergency?
:'''Robin''': everything is half off at the dollar store
:'''Cyborg''':man you have been bugging us with these rides all week,you know you know mest up my daily back up right your glad I didn't lose any important data

===[4]Dog Hand===
:'''Beast Boy''': hey rae rae what's going on you know more than usual,uh!(Raven zaps Beast Boy literary into dust)
:'''Raven''':I don't want to talk about it
:'''Cyborg''':Come on sing little birdy (Raven transforms into her demon form and traps Cyborg to the fridge with her tentacles)
:'''Raven''':I said I don't want to talk about it
:'''Cyborg''':And I totally respect that
:'''Robin''':Raven
:'''Raven''':fine(revives beast boy and let's cyborg go)my father...is coming
Robin:oh no
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Raven''':You don't know how annoying my dad can be
:'''Starfire''':(Earth teen voice)Dude you got it twisted your father is the bom
:'''Raven''':Why are you talking like that?,how are you talking like that?
:'''Beast Boy''':(in shape of a green cup that Raven is drinking from)your dad gave her the power to speak like an earth teen
:'''Raven''':(spits out the water) uh
:'''Beast Boy''':and he gave me the power to transform into anything I want(transforms into a bean bag)
:'''Raven''':and you chose to be a bean bag
:'''Beast Boy''':now I can veg out on my self
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin''':notice anything different Raven
:'''Raven''':your twitching
:'''Robin''':yep(flexes some parts of his body and rips the TV from the cables and throws towards Raven and Cyborg but they quickly dodge it)
:'''Raven''':what you didn't want anything from my dad
:'''Cyborg''': cause not,he gave me a dog for a hand(while the dog Lick's him)quite it quite it,(the dog hand continues licking him)I love you so much dog hand, I just I just,I love you so much

===[5]Double Trouble===
(Cyborg runs through the forest,a dinosaur chasing him roars of screen the dinosaur gets closer and grabs hin with it's teeth and seemingly eats him)
:'''Cyborg''': (screams)let me out it stinks in here (The dinosaur, actually beast boy spits cyborg out and de-transform)
:'''Beast Boy''': (laughs)you lose again chrome dome
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Cyborg''': Easy for to say (terrified) I don't wanna get eaten
:'''Beast Boy''': then you better start running because (yells)you got thirty seconds (closes his eyes and begins to count while cyborg runs away)1 messzoe 2 messzoe

===[25]Colors of Raven===
:'''Red Raven''': I told you not to mess around with that thing! ''[slaps Cyborg in the face]''
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Robin''': It seems the prism has divided Raven into the five core parts of her personality. Purple is her passion.
:'''Cyborg''': Red is her rage.
:'''Starfire''': Pink, her happiness.
:'''Beast Boy''': Orange, her laziness.
:'''Robin''': And gray is her timidity.
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Red Raven''': Can't a person get a decent non-dancing breakfast around here?!
&lt;hr width=50%/&gt;
:'''Red Raven''': You're not gonna use that on us. I don't want to be combined with these losers.
:'''Gray Raven''': That looks too scary to me.
:'''Purple Raven''': ''[hugging Beast Boy]'' I'll go if you come with.
:'''Orange Raven''': I'm good with whatever.
:'''Red Raven''': Let's get out of here!

[[Category:Teen Titans]]</text>
      <sha1>i6xcj7jz1rjjzsqzznomxhnf63sfvue</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Adventure Time: Distant Lands</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>245175</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943893</id>
      <parentid>3817363</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:28:08Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30410-75</username>
        <id>3325553</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943893</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="4270" sha1="hynjnk3tr5s7m2tmb99tvi47ej0uvru" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Adventure Time (season 1)|1]] [[Adventure Time (season 2)|2]] [[Adventure Time (season 3)|3]] [[Adventure Time (season 4)|4]] [[Adventure Time (season 5)|5]] [[Adventure Time (season 6)|6]] [[Adventure Time (season 7)|7]] [[Adventure Time (season 8)|8]] [[Adventure Time (season 9)|9]] [[Adventure Time (season 10)|10]] | [[Adventure Time: Distant Lands|Distant Lands]] | [[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake|Fionna and Cake]] | [[Adventure Time: Side Quests|Side Quests]] | [[Adventure Time|Main]]
----
{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|Adventure Time: Distant Lands}}''''' (2020–2021) is an animated streaming limited series produced by [[w:Cartoon Network Studios|Cartoon Network Studios]] and [[w:Frederator Studios|Frederator Studios]] based on the Cartoon Network television series ''[[Adventure Time]]''.

{{tv-stub}}

==Episodes==
===''BMO''===
:'''BMO''': Ricky, you beast! Now go! Be free!
:'''Ricky''': My name is Twinkletoes.
:'''BMO''': Oh, okay.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''BMO''': Good babies.

===''Obsidian''===
:'''Marceline''': Oh, come on, you liked it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Marceline''': ''[cries, sniffles and wipes her face]'' Ugh. Mom... ''[the door creaks open and footsteps approach; gasps]'' Mom?
:'''Glassboy''': ''[dramatically stepping into the room]'' It’s me, Glassboy! ''[laughs and does a small jump towards Marceline]'' Haha! I heard something weird so I came in.
:'''Marceline''': I wanna be ''[stands up and takes a slightly demonic form; yelling]'' '''&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;ALONE RIGHT NOW!!!!!&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;''' ''[breathes heavily]''
:'''Glassboy''': Please don’t send me away. I-I’m just like you!
:'''Marceline''': ''[collapses face-down on the floor; annoyed]'' You don’t say.
:'''Glassboy''': I thought I was sad that See-Thru Princess turned on me, ''[sheds tear]'' but now I know it was just ''[crosses arms and shakes shoulders]'' punk-rock anger.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''(Princess Bubblegum and Marceline are slow-dancing together)''
:'''Bubblegum''': I must look a real mess.
:'''Marceline''': Nuh-uh, you always look great after fighting a monster.
:'''Bubblegum''': ''(blushing)'' You think so? ''(she giggles and takes her hair out of its ponytail)'' This is nice, we never get to dance. You're always the one performing. 
:'''Marceline''': I have a lot more songs I want to sing. Real sappy ones.
:'''Bubblegum''': Good. I've always loved your songs.

===''Together Again''===
: '''Finn''': Uh, Mr. Death?
:'''New Death''': ''[turns to Finn]'' Huh? How'd you get in here?!
:'''Mr. Fox''': Quick brown fox! ''[jumps off of Tiffany as he retreats]''
:'''New Death''': Way to guard the castle, Mullet! ''[throws his soda can at Tiffany]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
: '''Finn''': Anybody here? What deadworld this?
: '''Choose Goose''': You've reached deadworld the first, number one at being worst.
: '''Finn''': Choose Goose! You're here?
: '''Choose Goose''': I know, it's weird! Rhymes aren't crimes!

===''Wizard City''===
:'''Cadebra''': Do not try this at home!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Bufo''': Yes, I used to be a dark wizard. Many say the greatest dark wizard. Did I swim deep in the loomy gloom? Yes. Did I transcend the eight schools of magic? Yep. Did I throw Laser Wizard and Forest Wizard under the bus to buy my own freedom? Ehh. That's all in the past. And I'm not gonna talk about it. ''[beat]'' Okay, you know what? Let's talk about it.
:'''Larry''': Hey, we're here to learn some real wizardry, not hear your sad backstory!
:''[Bufo turns Larry into a rock]''
:'''Bufo''': How do you like me now, Larry?

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Authority control}}
[[Category:HBO Max shows]]
[[Category:2020s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American animated TV spin-offs]]
[[Category:LGBT-related animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:Television series by Cartoon Network Studios]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about brothers]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about dogs]]
[[Category:Adventure Time]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]</text>
      <sha1>hynjnk3tr5s7m2tmb99tvi47ej0uvru</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>3-2-1 Penguins!</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>245605</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944012</id>
      <parentid>3940880</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T19:06:38Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944012</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="35143" sha1="nnlhp8vkzof52jatwtm7bxximszl9gy" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:3-2-1 Penguins!|3-2-1 Penguins!]]''''' (2000-2003, 2006-2008) is an American [[sci-fi]]/fantasy/adventure/comedy/musical/space opera 3D animated Christian preschool educational series that follows the two 7-year old twin siblings, Jason Conrad and his little twin sister, Michelle, who are spending the summer with their grandmother at their grandparent's cottage in the The Poconos region of Pennsylvania. They're also pulled into a rocket ship of a troop of four penguins as they're taken on a galactic adventure. The show was aimed at toddlers, and preschoolers, and from ages 2 to 5.

==Season 1 (2000-2003)==

===''Trouble on Planet Wait-Your-Turn''===
:''[First lines; The Conrad family are driving in the Poconos region of Pennsylvania to drop off their kids, Jason and Michelle, at Grandmum's cottage for the summer]''
:'''Jason''': ''[as Michelle's doll's shoe hits him on the side of his head on purpose; getting very angry]'' Mommy!!! she did that again!!!
:'''Mrs. Conrad''': Michelle, come on, we're almost there. Apologize to your big brother.
:'''Michelle''': I'm sorry, Jason.
:'''Mrs. Conrad''': I hope you two don't act this way while you're at Grandmum's.
:'''Michelle''': ''[excited]'' Yay, Grandmum's cottage!
:'''Jason''': Yay, Grandmum's cottage. You know, Trevor's at Space Camp right now.
:'''Mrs. Conrad''': Jason, you'll get to go to Space Camp ''after'' Grandmum's cottage. You're just going to need to be patient.
:'''Michelle''': I just love Grandmum's cottage! Are we almost there?
:'''Mr. Conrad''': You should know where we are, cupcake, unless you aren't wearing your glasses again. ''[the car pulls up in front of the cottage]'' Hey, hey, hey! We're here!
:'''Grandmum''': ''[walks out of the door and to the car; excitedly]'' Hello, sweeties! How's my two favorite twin pumpkins?
:'''Michelle''': ''[in unison]'' Hi, Grandma.
:'''Jason''': ''[in unison]'' Hi, Grandma.
:'''Grandmum''': Oh, that's ''Grandmum'' to you, you little bugs!
:'''Mr. Conrad''': Oh, you kids are gonna like it here. Your grandpa finished this place when I was about your age.
:'''Grandmum''': That's right. Built the whole place himself, he did. Quite a man, your grandpop. ''[gets a hug from Michelle]'' Oh! Goodness, now, which one are you, then?
:'''Michelle''': We're not identical twins, Grandmum.
:'''Jason''': Thank goodness.
:'''Michelle''': Just remember, I'm the sweetest one.
:'''Jason''': And I'm the one who's supposed to be at Space Camp. ''[gets out of the car]''
:'''Mrs. Conrad''': Okay, that's everything. I'm afraid we have to run or we'll miss our flight.
:'''Mr. Conrad''': Thanks for watching the kids, Mom. Jason and Michelle, we'll call you when we get there.
:'''Grandmum''': Have a good trip. And don't you worry about these two, they'll be just fine here. No better place for kids, you know.
:'''Mr. Conrad''': That's right.
:'''Mrs. Conrad''': Bye-bye, sweethearts, we love you! Be good for your grandmum.
:'''Mr. Conrad''': And have fun!
:'''Grandmum''': Come on, pumpkins! You can give me a hand with supper.
:'''Michelle''': Goodbye!
:'''Mr. &amp; Mrs. Conrad''': Bye.
:'''Jason''': Bye.
:''[The car starts pulling away but comes back after a few seconds]''
:'''Mr. Conrad''': Jason, your mom and I know you'd rather be at Space Camp right now, so we got you and Michelle something that might make the time go faster. Now, be sure you take turns with your sister. We'll call you for tonight, bud.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[While Jason plays with the Rockhopper and Michelle looks through a telescope in the attic, the ship magically comes to life and Jason meets the penguin troops for the first time]''
:'''Zidgel''': Jason T. Conrad. We need your help!
:'''Jason''': You're, you're alive!
:'''Midgel''': Of course we are, kid. It's much easier to do our jobs that way.
:'''Zidgel''': Get in here, Jason. The galaxy waits for no man!
:'''Jason''': What? I can't. I'm too big.
:'''Zidgel''': Ah, too big, too big. When I was your size, I was ''twice'' your size. ''[to Fidgel]'' Dr. Fidgel, galeezle him.
:'''Fidgel''': Yes, right away. ''[fires the galeezle and a big claw comes out of the ship, grabbing Jason]''
:'''Jason''': Hey! ''[gets reeled into the ship]'' I… I… I can't believe you guys are alive.
:'''Zidgel''': Of course we are.
:'''Midgel''': Either that or you're daydreaming.
:'''Fidgel''': That's true. Sensors indicate that he ''could'' be daydreaming.
:'''Midgel''': But no time for small talk now, we've got work to do.
:'''Jason''': What about my sister? Is she coming?
:'''Zidgel''': Don't worry, she'll get her chance. But right now, ''you're'' the one that we need.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Zigel''': Okay, boys, I think it's time we briefed our new cadet. Now, listen up. I am Captain Zidgel. This is my ship. Over here, we have Dr. Fidgel.
:'''Fidgel''': How do you do?
:'''Zidgel''': This is the ship's pilot and engineer, First Officer Midgel. And, um, ''[clears throat]'' that's, uh, Kevin.
:'''Kevin''': ''[vacuuming]'' Pleasure.
:'''Jason''': What does he do?
:''[Kevin gets his head sucked into the hose]''
:'''Zidgel''': Mostly, he just does that.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jason''': Penguins, we have to get out of here! The cutting-in-line bug is infecting us too!
:'''Midgel''': Nonsense! But if it is, it infected me first.
:'''Fidgel''': No, I was first.
:'''Kevin''': Me! Me!
:'''Zidgel''': You're all being ridiculous! I wanted to cut in front of you hours ago.
:'''Jason''': People! Don't you understand what happens when you get too close to the sun?! You'll '''''burn up!'''''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jason''': We're all gonna die if we keep this up!
:'''Midgel''': He could be right!
:'''Zidgel''': Or it could be a clever scam so that he could go first!
:'''Jason''': Wait! Listen to me! We need to learn to wait our turns. To let someone else go first now and then. It's called patience. It's a virtue.
:'''Zidgel''': I couldn't agree more! That's why you should wait your turn!
:'''Jason''': No, no. Oh, what was that verse? Um, &quot;A patient man has great understanding, but a quick tempered man displays folly.&quot;
:'''Vacuum Cleaner''': ''[confused]'' What's folly?
:'''Jason''': Foolishness. Trouble. Having to go first all the time only leads to trouble, like getting burned up by the sun! Now, the consequences are not always so extreme, but good things come to those who wait.
:'''Zidgel''': So, what do we do?
:'''Jason''': ''[gets an idea; politely]'' After you.

===''The Cheating Scales of Bullamanka''===
:'''Grandmum''': ''[teaching Michelle the importance of cheating]'' You know what the Good Book says about cheating, don't you? &quot;The Lord hates cheating scales, but accurate weights are his delight.&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Michelle meets the penguin troops for the first time as the Rockhopper comes to life]''
:'''Zidgel''': Michelle Francis Conrad.
:'''Michelle''': ''[calling for Jason, thinking it's for him]'' Uh, Jason? It's for you.
:'''Zidgel''': Not so fast! ''You're'' the one we need, this time.
:'''Michelle''': Jason's right. You guys ''are'' alive.
:'''Midgel''': Either that or you're daydreaming.
:'''Kevin''': Whoa, déjà vu.
:'''Zidgel''': Dr. Fidgel, galeezle her.
:'''Fidgel''': Right away, captain.
:'''Midgel''': Hang on.
:''[Fidgel fires the galeezle and the claw pops out of the ship, grabbing Michelle]''
:'''Michelle''': Wait!
:'''Fidgel''': ''[reels her in aboard the ship]'' Amazing, an exact duplicate of your brother, only with pigtails!
:'''Michelle''': We're, we're not identical twins, we're just the same age.

===''The Amazing Carnival of Complaining''===
:'''Michelle''': What's the matter, Jason? Are you bored? ''[Jason growls in annoyance]'' Too bad the video game's busted, huh?
:'''Jason''': As a matter of fact, it is too bad, because I'm bored out of my brain! There's absolutely ''nothing'' to do up here! Why can't I be having fun at Space Camp like Trevor instead of eating weird grapes and thumb wrestling myself because the only other possible thing to do is plant pumpkins or stare at the wall?! Oh, that gives me an idea, I think I'll ''stare'' at the wall!
:'''Michelle''': Touché.
:'''Grandmum''': Heavens above! That's no way to look at things, is it? You do know what it says about complaining in the Bible, don't you? &quot;Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure. Children of God without fault in this crooked world in which you shine like stars in the universe.&quot; You know, Jason, if you can't control your complaining, it'll spread to everyone around you, and you'll be a seed of discontent. So, which will it be, a grumpy seed, or a shining star? We will be outside if you change your mind. Come along, Michelle. ''[she and her granddaughter head outside the garden]''
:'''Jason''': Why would anyone want grapes with seeds?

===''Runaway Pride at Lightstation Kilowatt''===

===''The Doom Funnel Rescue!''===
:''[A mail truck drops off some mail at Grandmum's cottage and drives away]''
:'''Jason &amp; Michelle''': ''[run out the front door]'' Mail!
:'''Jason''': Race ya.
:'''Michelle''': Well… okay! ''[runs to the mailbox]''
:'''Jason''': Hey, no fair! Michelle, come on!
:'''Michelle''': ''[opens the mailbox]'' What's the matter? It's just the mail.
:'''Jason''': Come on, I'm desperate! If I don't hear something from the outside world soon, I'm gonna crack!
:'''Michelle''': Well…let's just see what the postman's brought. Could this be for you? Oh, no, I guess not. But ooh! Here's an exciting opportunity to refund your home at today's low rate.
:'''Jason''': Michelle…
:'''Michelle''': You know, it's never too early to start planning for your retirement.
:'''Jason''': That does it. Prepare to--rarrr! ''[starts chasing her around]''
:'''Michelle''': Hey, Jason!
:'''Jason''': Come on, hand it over!
:'''Michelle''': Cut it out!
:'''Jason''': It's no use resisting.
:'''Grandmum''': Goodness, muffins, what's all this?
:'''Jason''': Michelle won't let me see the mail.
:'''Grandmum''': Now, now, Michelle, what is it the Good Book says? Oh, yes! &quot;Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act.&quot; I suppose that goes for the mail as well.
:'''Michelle''': I was gonna give it to him eventually.
:'''Grandmum''': Let's see, bills, bills, some lovely coupons, a card for Michelle, oh! And here's a nice letter for Jason.
:'''Jason''': For me? Hey, it's from Trevor! ''[takes out a photo of Trevor on the anti-gravity simulator]'' Look, here's a picture of him on the anti-gravity simulator.
:'''Michelle''': Personally, I never understood why a bunch of kids would wait in line just to get nauseous.
:'''Grandmum''': Well, come along, bugs. We'll all read our mail over some delicious prune trifle.
:'''Jason''': Yeah, here we can get nauseous without the weight.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Jason lays on the couch reading Trevor's letter to him]''
:'''Trevor''': ''[voice-over] And being weightless is so cool. Friday, we learned all about space storms. Rocket science is a real blast. Get it? Ha, ha. Hey, remember that day we went to Astroland and rode on the Twister 28 times in a row? Nobody can take centrifugal force like you and me, right? I really wish you were here. Stuff's always more fun when you're around. Well, I gotta go meet John Glenn. Write soon, and tell me all the exciting things you've been doing. Your pal, Trevor.''
:'''Michelle''': Grandmum, the sink's leaking again!
:'''Grandmum''': Well, we'll fix it up in a jiffy. Just need to find my supply of duct tape. ''[enters the living room, holding a roll of duct tape]'' Nice of Trevor to write you, wasn't it? I'm sure he misses you a lot.
:'''Jason''': Yeah, I can tell.
:'''Grandmum''': You should write him back right away. I'll bet he'd love hearing from you. You can tell him all about what you've been doing.
:'''Michelle''': ''[coming down the stairs]'' Good idea! There was that one paperclip chain you made, and helping Grandmum put on her hair net, and that awful morning we, uh, ran out of toast.
:'''Grandmum''': Woah, don't like to think about that too much.
:'''Jason''': ''[sits up and gets off the couch]'' Well, I'm sure Trevor is having too much fun to bother reading any letter from me.
:'''Grandmum''': You know, love, he might be a little homesick. Hearing from you could be just what the doctor ordered.
:'''Jason''': Yeah, I think I'll just go upstairs.
:'''Grandmum''': I'm sure you'll do the right thing, dear.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jason''': ''[holding up the Rockhopper with Preston in it]'' All systems are go for Captain Preston of the Space Mouse Patrol! As the mighty ship prepares to launch! Three, two… ''[Preston jumps out of the ship]'' Preston! ''[tries to catch him, but trips and falls on the floor]''
:''[Preston lands on top of the ship as it soars to life]''
:'''Zidgel''': 40 foot rodent! ''[Midgel presses a button, opening the dome and catapulting Preston off the ship; calling out to Jason while he tries to look for Preston]'' Cadet Jason T. Conrad, report for duty immediately!
:'''Jason''': Huh? Oh, sure. Just give me a minute. I gotta find Preston.
:'''Zidgel''': No time (for that), cadet! We have an urgent mission in the Zembroid counstol? C-c-cancel? Calcul? Cornsep... whatever, it's that way.
:'''Jason''': Okay, but could you wait?
:'''Zidgel''': Dr. Fidgel, galeezle him.
:''[Fidgel fires the galeezle and pulls Jason into the ship]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Zigel''': ''[showing a presentation of his baby pictures on the big screen]'' As you can see from these photos, I was strikingly handsome even as an infant. Now here's one with me on my mommy's lap. Oh, here I am looking adorable! And, ooh, there's my old high chair!
:'''Jason''': Uh, captain, the mission?
:'''Fidgel''': We are headed for Space Colony Doublewide. It's interstellar cyclonic doom funnel season there. And our cargo is their supply of emergency duct tape.
:'''Jason''': Emergency duct tape?
:'''Fidgel''': Yes, it's for lashing space colony modules together. Otherwise, they slip their moorings, and those fragile trailers bash each other in the high winds, until they're splintered into smithereens. If we don't get it there in time, the entire population is done for!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Midgel''': ''[checks the fuel gauge, noticing the ship's fuel is nearly empty]'' Empty. We're running on fumes. You told me you prepared everything for the mission!
:'''Zidgel''': Of course! And here it is! Styling gel, mousse, conditioner.
:'''Midgel''': But what about gas? You said you got gas.
:'''Zidgel''': And I did! But I'm feeling much better now, thank you.
:'''Midgel''': ''[snapping irately]'' I meant rocket fuel!
:'''Zidgel''': Oh.
:'''Jason''': Uh, guys, wouldn't it be a good idea to get some more fuel quick before we ''totally'' run out?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Midgel''': ''[after the Rockhopper arrives at the gas station that is two cents cheaper as it completely runs out of fuel]'' Whew. Down to the last drop. ''[looks back at the crew, all frightened]'' What? I told you we were gonna run out of gas.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Kevin''': Uh, they were out of Chewy Chunky Glob of Fudge, so I got you an Icky Gooey Slab of Slop (instead).
:'''Zidgel''': ''[disappointed]'' It's not the same.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jason''': ''[when Kevin pulls out a spherical robot from the paper bag]'' What's that?
:'''Kevin''': Not sure, really, I got it free with my Prune Trifle burrito.
:'''Jason''': ''[reading the name]'' &quot;B-I-N-G, Beneficial Imprinting Neuralnet Gizmo.&quot;
:'''Kevin''': B.I.N.G.
:'''Jason''': Look, here's the button to start it. ''[presses a button on the back and a flashbulb pops out, flashing Kevin as he covers his eyes]'' Hey, you guys, check this out.
:'''Fidgel''': Most interesting. I believe that B.I.N.G. has somehow imprinted on Kevin's behavior, like a newborn duckling does with the first creature it sees.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Zidgel''': Looks like Kevin's got himself a new best friend.
:'''Midgel''': Nothing like a best friend, I always say. I got three back home. How about you, Jason?
:'''Jason''': ''[as B.I.N.G. sets him down]'' Uh, yeah, at least, I think I still do.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[The Rockhopper pulls up beside Professor Wordsworth's trailer and he boards before the doom funnel nearly sucks it up]''
:'''Midgel''': I can't control the ship much longer!
:'''Professor Wordsworth''': But we can't just leave! This is my home! What about my research? The colony? Our future survival depends on learning how to defend against the doom funnel!
:'''Midgel''': Sorry, Professor, but that thing's nearly got a hold of us. We'll need to fight our way out!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[After saving the Space Colony Doublewide trailer park from the doom funnel, Kevin has no choice but to give B.I.N.G. to Professor Wordsworth]''
:'''Fidgel''': ''[amazed after B.I.N.G. imprints the professor's behavior]'' Fascinating! Now B.I.N.G. is imprinted on the professor.
:'''Professor Wordsworth''': This is most kind of you, Kevin. We shall forever remember your act of goodness. Now then, B.I.N.G., shall we see what we can do to spruce things up a bit before everyone returns?
:'''Kevin''': Goodbye, B.I.N.G. I won't forget you.
:'''Zidgel''': Did I miss something? Seems to me we're down one robot in the deal.
:'''Jason''': Kevin just realized that it was wrong to keep B.I.N.G. to himself when he had a chance to do good for the professor and the whole colony. &quot;Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act.&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jason''': ''[writing a letter to Trevor in return; voice-over] And just today, I found this really excellent mouse named Preston. Well, guess that's about it. Glad you're having a great summer, too. As someone I know once said, &quot;Ain't nothing like a best friend.&quot; Oh, (and) in case you're a little homesick, here's something to help cheer you up. Maybe next year, we can try to break our record on that coaster. Signed, your best bud, Jason.''
:''[Later that night… Jason and Michelle are saying their prayers before going to bed]''
:'''Grandmum''': Nighty-night, cupcakes. Time to say your prayers.
:'''Jason &amp; Michelle''': Dear God…
:'''Michelle''': Please bless Grandmum and keep my Mommy and Daddy safe on their trip.
:'''Jason''': And thank you for teaching me the importance of doing good things for people whenever I have the chance. And please watch over Preston. He's a really great mouse.
:'''Michelle''': Even if he did eat the bridal bouquet.
:'''Jason &amp; Michelle''': Amen.

===''Moon Menace on Planet Tell-a-Lie!''===
:'''Grandmum''': Like the Good Book says, &quot;Lies will get any man into trouble, but honesty is its own defense.&quot;

==Season 2 (2007-2008)==

===''I Scream, You Scream!''===
:'''Sol''': Like the Good Book says, &quot;Those who have knowledge use words with restraint, and those who are understanding are even tempered.&quot; Now that means the more you know, the less you get angry. And that's good. Anger just makes you lose control and he end up accusing others wrongly.
:'''Jason''': He talks like Grandmum.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Admiral Strap''': ''[on speaker] Penguins! Come in, penguins!''
:'''Zidgel''': Admiral Strap, sir! ''[salutes]''
:'''Michelle''': Uh, who's that?
:'''Fidgel''': That's Admiral Strap. Our commander at Federation HQ.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[The Rockhopper arrives at Grandmum's cottage in the attic, preparing to send Jason and Michelle back]''
:'''Zigel''': Well, until next time, cadets!
:'''Midgel''': G'bye, mates!
:'''Jason &amp; Michelle''': Goodbye!
:''[As Fidgel fires the galeezle, the claw pops out and falls on the floor, covered in gum]''
:'''Michelle''': Oh, no, what happened?
:'''Jason''': What happened?! Can't you see? The thing's broken!
:'''Michelle''': How?
:'''Fidgel''': ''[examines the gum]'' Hmm… Corn syrup, soy lecithin, and titanium dioxide, if I'm not very much mistaken. A construct otherwise known as…
:'''Jason''': Hubby chubby bubble gum! Oh, no! ''[angrily points to Michelle]'' It was ''you!'' You must have spit it out when the galeezle pulled us in!
:'''Michelle''': I wasn't the only one with hubby chubby! You were chewing it too!
:'''Jason''': I swallowed mine!
:'''Michelle''': Well, I didn't do it! You must have done it!
:'''Jason''': I didn't do it! ''You'' did!
:'''Michelle''': No, ''you'' did!
:'''Zidgel''': Ah, ah! Temper, temper. Here we go, accusing each other again! Remember what old Sol told us: not smart without all the facts.
:'''Jason''': Well, the fact ''is'' we aren't going to be able to get back to Grandmum's and it's all Michelle's fault!
:'''Michelle''': Can you fix it, Fidgel?
:'''Fidgel''': Well, um…it's not…Well, I can try.
:'''Jason''': &quot;Try?!&quot; Oh, no! We're going to stay this size? I'm only as big as my little finger!
:'''Michelle''': Can you make it work again?
:'''Fidgel''': ''[pulls out a small, burned out device covered in gum]'' This is what makes it work. The metric magnetic matter disperser. The only one in existence as far as I know! Without this, the galeezle is useless! I fear the bubble gum has burnt it out.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Fidgel''': Jason, Michelle, would you like a sandwich?
:'''Jason''': ''[disappointed about not getting back to Grandmum's cottage]'' No. I just want Grandmum's cocoa.
:'''Michelle''': I thought you weren't talking to me.
:'''Jason''': I ''wasn't'' talking to you, you galeezle breaker!
:'''Michelle''': I didn't break it. ''You'' did! Your gum must've come out when you were screaming like a baby.
:'''Jason''': ''[infuriated]'' Screaming like a baby?!
:'''Michelle''': Yes, you always scream like a baby when galeezled into the ship!
:'''Zidgel''': ''[enters the main room after taking a shower with his hair all droopy; angrily accusing Kevin]'' KEVIN! YOU'VE BEEN INTO MY SHAMPOO AGAIN!
:'''Midgel''': Calm down, captain.
:'''Zidgel''': Calm down? Calm down?! ''[to Kevin]'' Listen to me! &quot;Ridiculous proportions shampoo&quot; is shampoo! Do you hear me? ''Shampoo!'' But you always use it as a body wash! A ''body wash!'' Do you know how much ''body'' you have to wash?!
:''[Kevin reacts with confusion]''
:'''Midgel''': Now, wait just a minute, captain. Didn't you say earlier that we shouldn't be too quick to accuse each other? ''[gasps in shock when he sees his Boomerangutan poster on the table; accusing Fidgel in outrage]'' Doc! Doc! What have you done to my poster?!
:'''Fidgel''': I-I just needed something to protect the table.
:'''Midgel''': ''[frustrated]'' Do you know how much this is worth?! It was from the last tour of the Boomerangutans!
:'''Fidgel''': ''[retorting]'' Well, if you wouldn't leave your quarters in such a mess, how am I to know what's rare and what's rubbish?
:''[Jason and Michelle cover their ears, trying to block out the arguing]''
:'''Jason''': Nice going, Michelle!
:'''Michelle''': What?! Now you're blaming ''me'' for this?!
:'''Jason''': We wouldn't even be here if you hadn't broken the galeezle!

===''The Green-eyed Monster''===

===''Lazy Daze''===
:''[The Rockhopper pulls up at the Comet Lounge]''
:'''Zidgel''': Captain's blog, we're going on a picnic.
:'''Michelle''': So, what are we doing here?
:'''Midgel''': Had to stop off for some supplies, first. Soda pop, sandwiches, you know.
:'''Fidgel''': ''[as they enter]'' Don't forget the chocolate bars and marshmallows!
:'''Jason''': Oh, great! I love eating s'mores!
:'''Fidgel''': Eating? Oh, no, I need them for a new fuel experiment.
:'''Midgel''': Now don't take all day with your science project stuff, Doctor. We're here to get in, get supplies, and get out. No nonsense.
:'''Fidgel''': I assure you, my experiments are not nonsense.
:'''Midgel''': What about the time you tried to make glass invisible so you can see through it?
:'''Fidgel''': Well, it worked, didn't it?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jason''': What's wrong with being lazy?
:'''Sol''': Well, just think, if I didn't work around here, nobody would get served, dirty dishes would pile up. Pretty soon the whole place would stink!
:'''Michelle''': Like Jason's room!
:'''Sol''': ''[chuckles]'' Old Sol says, &quot;The lazy person wants many things, but has nothing. But the person who is diligent and hardworking, truly has it all.&quot; You want to be diligent, right, kids?
:'''Jason''': Actually, the picnic sounds more fun.
:'''Sol''': ''[laughs]'' I'm sure it does. You just keep an eye on those ants, you hear?
:'''Jason''': We will. Is it just me, or is he weird?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Fidgel''': ''[opens the storage bay, but it's all piled up with junk]'' Oh, dear me.
:'''Midgel''': What's got your knickers in a knot, doc?
:'''Fidgel''': Well, I'm scheduled to run a diagnostic test on the Harryhausen ray, but it's in the back of this storage bay, and I can't get to it.
:'''Midgel''': Harryhausen ray? What's that?
:'''Fidgel''': Oh, it's simply a device that halts movement on a molecular level.
:'''Midgel''': ''[not understanding]'' In the Queen's English, Fidge.
:'''Fidgel''': Yes. It stops action, freezes things in time and space.
:'''Midgel''': Classic. But it looks like you could use some help.
:'''Fidgel''': Oh, why thank you.
:'''Midgel''': If I see anyone available, I'll send 'em round.
:'''Fidgel''': ''[enters Jason's room, finding him laying lazily on his bed]'' Hello, Jason. I hear you're looking to earn some extra money for sea chimps?
:'''Jason''': Yeah!
:'''Fidgel''': Well, the storage bay is in a bit of a mess. What say I hire you to clean it?
:'''Jason''': Hire? You mean like a job? I'm kinda busy. Maybe later. Uh, doc? Turn the page for me. I can't reach.

===''More Is More''===

===''Give and Let Give''===
:'''Jason''': ''[enters Michelle's room while following the smelling scent and spots a cupcake on the table, tries to eat it, but Michelle swipes it from him]'' Let me have a cupcake. I'll tell Grandmum you've learned your lesson when we get back.
:'''Michelle''': No. ''I'' made them, I say who gets one.
:'''Jason''': (Oh, I get it.) You won't give me one because you're still mad about play-ser tag.
:'''Michelle''': Yeah, it was no fair. I was sick of being it.
:'''Jason''': At least I shared with you.
:'''Michelle''': You gave me the broken one.
:'''Jason''': This one? It's a new invention. Fidgel even said it didn't work right. ''[turns on the device and a straight and spiral beam fires and goes around the room until it reaches him]''
:'''Michelle''': No thanks, that thing is a play-ser tag magnet. Wherever I hid in the room, that beam would find me. I was it the whole time!
:'''Jason''': Fine, but it's not ''my'' fault it doesn't work. Keep your stale old cupcakes. ''[leaves the room in a huff]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Midgel''': ''[as Kevin sticks his head in the sand]'' What do you think you're doing?
:'''Kevin''': Looking for water.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Midgel''': Fidge, give me your spectrometer.
:'''Fidgel''': What for?
:'''Midgel''': I wanna try something.
:'''Fidget''': No, you'll break it.
:'''Midgel''': What?
:'''Michelle''': Can't he borrow it for a moment? He might be able to get us free.
:'''Fidgel''': No, he's ''never'' careful with my things. It's a delicate device.
:'''Michelle''': But, doctor, what about Sol's cookie? What about sharing?
:'''Fidgel''': Well, what do you want it for, anyway?
:'''Midgel''': I need to get back to the ship to get a fix on the pump, so you can find it, override the signal, and turn it back on.
:'''Michelle''': Please? This is no time to be stingy.
:'''Fidgel''': ''[reluctantly]'' Don't get any sand in it.
:'''Midgel''': Thank you. I'll head to the ship. You look around here, keep your communicator on.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Midgel''': Fidgel, come in! Do you read me?
:'''Fidgel''': Well, it's about time. They've got the captain trussed up like a Christmas package.
:'''Midgel''': That's not good, I mean, unless it actually was Christmas.

===''Practical Hoax''===
:'''Zidgel''': You're getting the seat wet, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': You can thank Jason (for that).
:'''Zidgel''': Oh, thank you, Jason.

===''Comedy of Errors''===

===''Compassion Crashin'''===

===''Wiki Tiki''===
:'''Grandmum''': Michelle, is this the way I've taught you to rinse the dishes?
:'''Michelle''': ''[sees the sink overflowing; alarmed]'' Oh, no! ''[quickly turns it off and places a towel on the wet floor]''
:'''Grandmum''': And, Jason, you didn't replace the plastic liner in this trash can.
:'''Jason''': Sorry, Grandmum, I'll go get it right now.
:'''Michelle''': I guess I was in too big a hurry. I'm sorry.
:'''Grandmum''': Remember what the Good Book says, &quot;Enthusiasm without knowledge is ''no'' good. Haste makes mistakes.&quot;
:'''Jason''': Is that a real proverb?
:'''Grandmum''': It jolly well is. Take the time to listen and do it right the first time.
:'''Jason''': Like the trash liner. I'm on it.
:'''Grandmum''': You'll just make a mess if you rush.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jason''': Now where's that spaceship? It was right here!
:'''Michelle''': Jason, you heard Grandmum. We got to put the clean sheets on our beds.
:'''Jason''': I did.
:'''Michelle''': ''[sternly]'' Jason.
:'''Jason''': It's fine. I'll make the bed later. ''[Midgel galeezles both him and Michelle into the Rockhopper]'' Whoa, definitely later.
:'''Michelle''': Hey, thanks, Midgel. Where is everybody?
:'''Midgel''': Sorry, Michelle, no time for chit chat, we got to get going. ''[The kids are strapped to their seats and buckle up]'' The others are at the Comet Lounge making sure Sol doesn't run out of the afternoon special.
:'''Jason and Michelle''': Sol's Aurora Borealis fruit punch!
:'''Jason''': What are we waiting for?!
:'''Jason, Michelle, and Midgel''': BONSAI!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[The Rockhopper arrives at the Comet Lounge and Jason, Michelle, and Midgel enter where the rest of the crew are already there]''
:'''Midgel''': Where's the Aurora Borealis punch?
:'''Fidgel''': Sol hasn't lit the sign, yet.
:'''Midgel''': Whew. I'd hate to miss the Aurora Borealis. Best fruit punch in the galaxy.
:'''Fidgel''': Hey, I was in line first.
:'''Zidgel''': Captains first, then everyone else.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jason''': You were right, Michelle. We didn't take our time and we made mistakes.
:'''Michelle''': Captain Zidgel? Jason and I have realized something.
:'''Zidgel''': Can't stop it. Tried everything.
:'''Jason''': Captain, we ''have'' tried everything, except listening.
:'''Zidgel''': Listening? What do you mean?
:'''Michelle''': Grandmum told us, enthusiasm without knowledge is no good.
:'''Jason''': And haste makes mistakes.
:'''Zidgel''': Translated, means…is this a tongue twister?
:'''Fidgel''': Wait, I think I know. Rushing to do things in your own enthusiasm instead of taking time to understand and think causes problems.
:'''Midgel''': Cuz you'll just make a mess if you hurry.
:'''Kevin''': Yeah, big mess.
:'''Jason''': Right, we've been in such a hurry to get back to the Comet Lounge for Sol's aurora borealis fruit punch--
:'''Michelle''': That we've been running with the first ideas that popped into our heads. Nobody listened to the tiki king.

===''Invasion of the Body Swappers!''===
:'''Midgel''': Hey, Mish, everything all right?
:'''Michelle''': Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Midgel, do you, do you think I'm pretty?
:'''Midgel''': What? ''[nervously laughs]'' Well, to tell you the truth, Michelle, I really don't know much about that sort of thing. To me, the prettiest thing in the world is the Rockhopper. She's a beaut, she is.
:'''Fidgel''': ''[tweaking the galeezle as Michelle enters the main room]'' Oh, hello, dear. I've been tweaking the galeezle device. Would you like to help me?
:'''Michelle''': Fidgel, do you think I'm pretty?
:'''Fidgel''': Pretty? Uh, well, pretty is as pretty does, as my mom always used to say. ''[pulls out a photo of his mother]'' Ah, Mum was the prettiest woman in the world.

===''Git Along Little Doggies!''===

===''Wise Guys''===
:'''Grandmum''': The Good Book says, &quot;Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end, you will be wise.&quot;
:'''Michelle''': You? Wise? Not likely.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jason''': ''[as his sister, Midgel, Fidgel, and Kevin all glare annoyingly at him]'' No, that was not my fault. It was the lousy time machine. It didn't even work!
:'''Michelle''': Or maybe you didn't listen to any advice!
:''[They hear the sounds of laughing and coughing and see two elderly penguins sitting in rocking chairs, but it turns out, they're the future versions of Midgel and Fidgel]''
:'''Future Midgel''': Looks like they didn't get the transmission.
:'''Future Fidgel''': And I dare say Jason ignored our warnings about the time machine.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jason''': This is fantastic!
:'''Midgel''': Exactly how is this fantastic, Jason?
:'''Jason''': ''[to Fidgel]'' Your time machine worked! We're in the future! This is the coolest thing ever!
:'''Fidgel''': Not to dampen your enthusiasm, young man, but our situation is, in fact, quite dire.
:'''Jason''': What do you mean?
:'''Midgel''': Our ship's destroyed, who knows how much the time machine's been damaged? Jason, face the facts.
:'''Future Midgel''': The odds are, you and your sister are stuck here with us, '''''forever.'''''
:'''Jason''': ''[horrified] '''NO!!!!'''''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Michelle''': Kevin's getting '''''younger!'''''

===''Hogs and Kisses''===
:''[The Lizard King finds Jason in the back of his truck when he tries to run away]''
:'''Lizard King''': Great Bullamanka! A human ice pop! What are you doin' in there?
:'''Jason''': ''[shivering from the cold]'' R-r-running away?
:'''Lizard King''': Not on board my ship, you don't. No stowaways. I got a firm rule against such things. ''[pulls him out of the cargo hold; recognizing him]'' Wait a minute, I know you! You're the mate aboard the Rockhopper, under Captain Zidgel.
:'''Jason''': P-p-please. You gotta let me stay. I-I can't go back there.
:'''Lizard King''': Why not?
:'''Jason''': They say things that hurt my feelings... supposed to be helpful.
:'''Lizard King''': Oh, it's like that, is it? Always telling you what to do, eh? Giving you orders, do this, do that. Making you feel bad by saying things you don't wanna hear, eh mate?
:'''Jason''': Yeah!
:'''Lizard King''': Ha! Get over it! You're a shipmate. Taking orders is what you do. Whatever they're telling you is probably for your own good.

==Season 3 (2008)==

===''12 Angry Hens''===

===''Kennel Club Blues''===

===''Oh, Mercy!''===

===''Promises, Promises, Promises''===

===''Do Unto Brothers''===

===''Between an Asteroid and a Hard Place''===

===''In the Big House''===

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
[[Category:American children's animated space adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American preschool education TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fiction TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical TV shows]]
[[Category:TV shows about penguins]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about children]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Qubo shows]]</text>
      <sha1>nnlhp8vkzof52jatwtm7bxximszl9gy</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944015</id>
      <parentid>3944012</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T19:13:46Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944015</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="35076" sha1="iiomc7mtv03dqc68xevdj9fnbff2ngy" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:3-2-1 Penguins!|3-2-1 Penguins!]]''''' (2000-2003, 2006-2008) is an American [[sci-fi]]/fantasy/adventure/comedy/space opera 3D animated Christian preschool educational series that follows the two 7-year old twin siblings, Jason Conrad and his little twin sister, Michelle, who are spending the summer with their grandmother at their grandparent's cottage in the The Poconos region of Pennsylvania. They're also pulled into a rocket ship of a troop of four penguins as they're taken on a galactic adventure. The show was aimed at toddlers, and preschoolers, and from ages 2 to 5.

==Season 1 (2000-2003)==

===''Trouble on Planet Wait-Your-Turn''===
:''[First lines; The Conrad family are driving in the Poconos region of Pennsylvania to drop off their kids, Jason and Michelle, at Grandmum's cottage for the summer]''
:'''Jason''': ''[as Michelle's doll's shoe hits him on the side of his head on purpose; getting very angry]'' Mommy!!! she did that again!!!
:'''Mrs. Conrad''': Michelle, come on, we're almost there. Apologize to your big brother.
:'''Michelle''': I'm sorry, Jason.
:'''Mrs. Conrad''': I hope you two don't act this way while you're at Grandmum's.
:'''Michelle''': ''[excited]'' Yay, Grandmum's cottage!
:'''Jason''': Yay, Grandmum's cottage. You know, Trevor's at Space Camp right now.
:'''Mrs. Conrad''': Jason, you'll get to go to Space Camp ''after'' Grandmum's cottage. You're just going to need to be patient.
:'''Michelle''': I just love Grandmum's cottage! Are we almost there?
:'''Mr. Conrad''': You should know where we are, cupcake, unless you aren't wearing your glasses again. ''[the car pulls up in front of the cottage]'' Hey, hey, hey! We're here!
:'''Grandmum''': ''[walks out of the door and to the car; excitedly]'' Hello, sweeties! How's my two favorite twin pumpkins?
:'''Michelle''': ''[in unison]'' Hi, Grandma.
:'''Jason''': ''[in unison]'' Hi, Grandma.
:'''Grandmum''': Oh, that's ''Grandmum'' to you, you little bugs!
:'''Mr. Conrad''': Oh, you kids are gonna like it here. Your grandpa finished this place when I was about your age.
:'''Grandmum''': That's right. Built the whole place himself, he did. Quite a man, your grandpop. ''[gets a hug from Michelle]'' Oh! Goodness, now, which one are you, then?
:'''Michelle''': We're not identical twins, Grandmum.
:'''Jason''': Thank goodness.
:'''Michelle''': Just remember, I'm the sweetest one.
:'''Jason''': And I'm the one who's supposed to be at Space Camp. ''[gets out of the car]''
:'''Mrs. Conrad''': Okay, that's everything. I'm afraid we have to run or we'll miss our flight.
:'''Mr. Conrad''': Thanks for watching the kids, Mom. Jason and Michelle, we'll call you when we get there.
:'''Grandmum''': Have a good trip. And don't you worry about these two, they'll be just fine here. No better place for kids, you know.
:'''Mr. Conrad''': That's right.
:'''Mrs. Conrad''': Bye-bye, sweethearts, we love you! Be good for your grandmum.
:'''Mr. Conrad''': And have fun!
:'''Grandmum''': Come on, pumpkins! You can give me a hand with supper.
:'''Michelle''': Goodbye!
:'''Mr. &amp; Mrs. Conrad''': Bye.
:'''Jason''': Bye.
:''[The car starts pulling away but comes back after a few seconds]''
:'''Mr. Conrad''': Jason, your mom and I know you'd rather be at Space Camp right now, so we got you and Michelle something that might make the time go faster. Now, be sure you take turns with your sister. We'll call you for tonight, bud.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[While Jason plays with the Rockhopper and Michelle looks through a telescope in the attic, the ship magically comes to life and Jason meets the penguin troops for the first time]''
:'''Zidgel''': Jason T. Conrad. We need your help!
:'''Jason''': You're, you're alive!
:'''Midgel''': Of course we are, kid. It's much easier to do our jobs that way.
:'''Zidgel''': Get in here, Jason. The galaxy waits for no man!
:'''Jason''': What? I can't. I'm too big.
:'''Zidgel''': Ah, too big, too big. When I was your size, I was ''twice'' your size. ''[to Fidgel]'' Dr. Fidgel, galeezle him.
:'''Fidgel''': Yes, right away. ''[fires the galeezle and a big claw comes out of the ship, grabbing Jason]''
:'''Jason''': Hey! ''[gets reeled into the ship]'' I… I… I can't believe you guys are alive.
:'''Zidgel''': Of course we are.
:'''Midgel''': Either that or you're daydreaming.
:'''Fidgel''': That's true. Sensors indicate that he ''could'' be daydreaming.
:'''Midgel''': But no time for small talk now, we've got work to do.
:'''Jason''': What about my sister? Is she coming?
:'''Zidgel''': Don't worry, she'll get her chance. But right now, ''you're'' the one that we need.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Zigel''': Okay, boys, I think it's time we briefed our new cadet. Now, listen up. I am Captain Zidgel. This is my ship. Over here, we have Dr. Fidgel.
:'''Fidgel''': How do you do?
:'''Zidgel''': This is the ship's pilot and engineer, First Officer Midgel. And, um, ''[clears throat]'' that's, uh, Kevin.
:'''Kevin''': ''[vacuuming]'' Pleasure.
:'''Jason''': What does he do?
:''[Kevin gets his head sucked into the hose]''
:'''Zidgel''': Mostly, he just does that.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jason''': Penguins, we have to get out of here! The cutting-in-line bug is infecting us too!
:'''Midgel''': Nonsense! But if it is, it infected me first.
:'''Fidgel''': No, I was first.
:'''Kevin''': Me! Me!
:'''Zidgel''': You're all being ridiculous! I wanted to cut in front of you hours ago.
:'''Jason''': People! Don't you understand what happens when you get too close to the sun?! You'll '''''burn up!'''''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jason''': We're all gonna die if we keep this up!
:'''Midgel''': He could be right!
:'''Zidgel''': Or it could be a clever scam so that he could go first!
:'''Jason''': Wait! Listen to me! We need to learn to wait our turns. To let someone else go first now and then. It's called patience. It's a virtue.
:'''Zidgel''': I couldn't agree more! That's why you should wait your turn!
:'''Jason''': No, no. Oh, what was that verse? Um, &quot;A patient man has great understanding, but a quick tempered man displays folly.&quot;
:'''Vacuum Cleaner''': ''[confused]'' What's folly?
:'''Jason''': Foolishness. Trouble. Having to go first all the time only leads to trouble, like getting burned up by the sun! Now, the consequences are not always so extreme, but good things come to those who wait.
:'''Zidgel''': So, what do we do?
:'''Jason''': ''[gets an idea; politely]'' After you.

===''The Cheating Scales of Bullamanka''===
:'''Grandmum''': ''[teaching Michelle the importance of cheating]'' You know what the Good Book says about cheating, don't you? &quot;The Lord hates cheating scales, but accurate weights are his delight.&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Michelle meets the penguin troops for the first time as the Rockhopper comes to life]''
:'''Zidgel''': Michelle Francis Conrad.
:'''Michelle''': ''[calling for Jason, thinking it's for him]'' Uh, Jason? It's for you.
:'''Zidgel''': Not so fast! ''You're'' the one we need, this time.
:'''Michelle''': Jason's right. You guys ''are'' alive.
:'''Midgel''': Either that or you're daydreaming.
:'''Kevin''': Whoa, déjà vu.
:'''Zidgel''': Dr. Fidgel, galeezle her.
:'''Fidgel''': Right away, captain.
:'''Midgel''': Hang on.
:''[Fidgel fires the galeezle and the claw pops out of the ship, grabbing Michelle]''
:'''Michelle''': Wait!
:'''Fidgel''': ''[reels her in aboard the ship]'' Amazing, an exact duplicate of your brother, only with pigtails!
:'''Michelle''': We're, we're not identical twins, we're just the same age.

===''The Amazing Carnival of Complaining''===
:'''Michelle''': What's the matter, Jason? Are you bored? ''[Jason growls in annoyance]'' Too bad the video game's busted, huh?
:'''Jason''': As a matter of fact, it is too bad, because I'm bored out of my brain! There's absolutely ''nothing'' to do up here! Why can't I be having fun at Space Camp like Trevor instead of eating weird grapes and thumb wrestling myself because the only other possible thing to do is plant pumpkins or stare at the wall?! Oh, that gives me an idea, I think I'll ''stare'' at the wall!
:'''Michelle''': Touché.
:'''Grandmum''': Heavens above! That's no way to look at things, is it? You do know what it says about complaining in the Bible, don't you? &quot;Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure. Children of God without fault in this crooked world in which you shine like stars in the universe.&quot; You know, Jason, if you can't control your complaining, it'll spread to everyone around you, and you'll be a seed of discontent. So, which will it be, a grumpy seed, or a shining star? We will be outside if you change your mind. Come along, Michelle. ''[she and her granddaughter head outside the garden]''
:'''Jason''': Why would anyone want grapes with seeds?

===''Runaway Pride at Lightstation Kilowatt''===

===''The Doom Funnel Rescue!''===
:''[A mail truck drops off some mail at Grandmum's cottage and drives away]''
:'''Jason &amp; Michelle''': ''[run out the front door]'' Mail!
:'''Jason''': Race ya.
:'''Michelle''': Well… okay! ''[runs to the mailbox]''
:'''Jason''': Hey, no fair! Michelle, come on!
:'''Michelle''': ''[opens the mailbox]'' What's the matter? It's just the mail.
:'''Jason''': Come on, I'm desperate! If I don't hear something from the outside world soon, I'm gonna crack!
:'''Michelle''': Well…let's just see what the postman's brought. Could this be for you? Oh, no, I guess not. But ooh! Here's an exciting opportunity to refund your home at today's low rate.
:'''Jason''': Michelle…
:'''Michelle''': You know, it's never too early to start planning for your retirement.
:'''Jason''': That does it. Prepare to--rarrr! ''[starts chasing her around]''
:'''Michelle''': Hey, Jason!
:'''Jason''': Come on, hand it over!
:'''Michelle''': Cut it out!
:'''Jason''': It's no use resisting.
:'''Grandmum''': Goodness, muffins, what's all this?
:'''Jason''': Michelle won't let me see the mail.
:'''Grandmum''': Now, now, Michelle, what is it the Good Book says? Oh, yes! &quot;Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act.&quot; I suppose that goes for the mail as well.
:'''Michelle''': I was gonna give it to him eventually.
:'''Grandmum''': Let's see, bills, bills, some lovely coupons, a card for Michelle, oh! And here's a nice letter for Jason.
:'''Jason''': For me? Hey, it's from Trevor! ''[takes out a photo of Trevor on the anti-gravity simulator]'' Look, here's a picture of him on the anti-gravity simulator.
:'''Michelle''': Personally, I never understood why a bunch of kids would wait in line just to get nauseous.
:'''Grandmum''': Well, come along, bugs. We'll all read our mail over some delicious prune trifle.
:'''Jason''': Yeah, here we can get nauseous without the weight.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[Jason lays on the couch reading Trevor's letter to him]''
:'''Trevor''': ''[voice-over] And being weightless is so cool. Friday, we learned all about space storms. Rocket science is a real blast. Get it? Ha, ha. Hey, remember that day we went to Astroland and rode on the Twister 28 times in a row? Nobody can take centrifugal force like you and me, right? I really wish you were here. Stuff's always more fun when you're around. Well, I gotta go meet John Glenn. Write soon, and tell me all the exciting things you've been doing. Your pal, Trevor.''
:'''Michelle''': Grandmum, the sink's leaking again!
:'''Grandmum''': Well, we'll fix it up in a jiffy. Just need to find my supply of duct tape. ''[enters the living room, holding a roll of duct tape]'' Nice of Trevor to write you, wasn't it? I'm sure he misses you a lot.
:'''Jason''': Yeah, I can tell.
:'''Grandmum''': You should write him back right away. I'll bet he'd love hearing from you. You can tell him all about what you've been doing.
:'''Michelle''': ''[coming down the stairs]'' Good idea! There was that one paperclip chain you made, and helping Grandmum put on her hair net, and that awful morning we, uh, ran out of toast.
:'''Grandmum''': Woah, don't like to think about that too much.
:'''Jason''': ''[sits up and gets off the couch]'' Well, I'm sure Trevor is having too much fun to bother reading any letter from me.
:'''Grandmum''': You know, love, he might be a little homesick. Hearing from you could be just what the doctor ordered.
:'''Jason''': Yeah, I think I'll just go upstairs.
:'''Grandmum''': I'm sure you'll do the right thing, dear.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jason''': ''[holding up the Rockhopper with Preston in it]'' All systems are go for Captain Preston of the Space Mouse Patrol! As the mighty ship prepares to launch! Three, two… ''[Preston jumps out of the ship]'' Preston! ''[tries to catch him, but trips and falls on the floor]''
:''[Preston lands on top of the ship as it soars to life]''
:'''Zidgel''': 40 foot rodent! ''[Midgel presses a button, opening the dome and catapulting Preston off the ship; calling out to Jason while he tries to look for Preston]'' Cadet Jason T. Conrad, report for duty immediately!
:'''Jason''': Huh? Oh, sure. Just give me a minute. I gotta find Preston.
:'''Zidgel''': No time (for that), cadet! We have an urgent mission in the Zembroid counstol? C-c-cancel? Calcul? Cornsep... whatever, it's that way.
:'''Jason''': Okay, but could you wait?
:'''Zidgel''': Dr. Fidgel, galeezle him.
:''[Fidgel fires the galeezle and pulls Jason into the ship]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Zigel''': ''[showing a presentation of his baby pictures on the big screen]'' As you can see from these photos, I was strikingly handsome even as an infant. Now here's one with me on my mommy's lap. Oh, here I am looking adorable! And, ooh, there's my old high chair!
:'''Jason''': Uh, captain, the mission?
:'''Fidgel''': We are headed for Space Colony Doublewide. It's interstellar cyclonic doom funnel season there. And our cargo is their supply of emergency duct tape.
:'''Jason''': Emergency duct tape?
:'''Fidgel''': Yes, it's for lashing space colony modules together. Otherwise, they slip their moorings, and those fragile trailers bash each other in the high winds, until they're splintered into smithereens. If we don't get it there in time, the entire population is done for!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Midgel''': ''[checks the fuel gauge, noticing the ship's fuel is nearly empty]'' Empty. We're running on fumes. You told me you prepared everything for the mission!
:'''Zidgel''': Of course! And here it is! Styling gel, mousse, conditioner.
:'''Midgel''': But what about gas? You said you got gas.
:'''Zidgel''': And I did! But I'm feeling much better now, thank you.
:'''Midgel''': ''[snapping irately]'' I meant rocket fuel!
:'''Zidgel''': Oh.
:'''Jason''': Uh, guys, wouldn't it be a good idea to get some more fuel quick before we ''totally'' run out?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Midgel''': ''[after the Rockhopper arrives at the gas station that is two cents cheaper as it completely runs out of fuel]'' Whew. Down to the last drop. ''[looks back at the crew, all frightened]'' What? I told you we were gonna run out of gas.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Kevin''': Uh, they were out of Chewy Chunky Glob of Fudge, so I got you an Icky Gooey Slab of Slop (instead).
:'''Zidgel''': ''[disappointed]'' It's not the same.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jason''': ''[when Kevin pulls out a spherical robot from the paper bag]'' What's that?
:'''Kevin''': Not sure, really, I got it free with my Prune Trifle burrito.
:'''Jason''': ''[reading the name]'' &quot;B-I-N-G, Beneficial Imprinting Neuralnet Gizmo.&quot;
:'''Kevin''': B.I.N.G.
:'''Jason''': Look, here's the button to start it. ''[presses a button on the back and a flashbulb pops out, flashing Kevin as he covers his eyes]'' Hey, you guys, check this out.
:'''Fidgel''': Most interesting. I believe that B.I.N.G. has somehow imprinted on Kevin's behavior, like a newborn duckling does with the first creature it sees.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Zidgel''': Looks like Kevin's got himself a new best friend.
:'''Midgel''': Nothing like a best friend, I always say. I got three back home. How about you, Jason?
:'''Jason''': ''[as B.I.N.G. sets him down]'' Uh, yeah, at least, I think I still do.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[The Rockhopper pulls up beside Professor Wordsworth's trailer and he boards before the doom funnel nearly sucks it up]''
:'''Midgel''': I can't control the ship much longer!
:'''Professor Wordsworth''': But we can't just leave! This is my home! What about my research? The colony? Our future survival depends on learning how to defend against the doom funnel!
:'''Midgel''': Sorry, Professor, but that thing's nearly got a hold of us. We'll need to fight our way out!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[After saving the Space Colony Doublewide trailer park from the doom funnel, Kevin has no choice but to give B.I.N.G. to Professor Wordsworth]''
:'''Fidgel''': ''[amazed after B.I.N.G. imprints the professor's behavior]'' Fascinating! Now B.I.N.G. is imprinted on the professor.
:'''Professor Wordsworth''': This is most kind of you, Kevin. We shall forever remember your act of goodness. Now then, B.I.N.G., shall we see what we can do to spruce things up a bit before everyone returns?
:'''Kevin''': Goodbye, B.I.N.G. I won't forget you.
:'''Zidgel''': Did I miss something? Seems to me we're down one robot in the deal.
:'''Jason''': Kevin just realized that it was wrong to keep B.I.N.G. to himself when he had a chance to do good for the professor and the whole colony. &quot;Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act.&quot;

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jason''': ''[writing a letter to Trevor in return; voice-over] And just today, I found this really excellent mouse named Preston. Well, guess that's about it. Glad you're having a great summer, too. As someone I know once said, &quot;Ain't nothing like a best friend.&quot; Oh, (and) in case you're a little homesick, here's something to help cheer you up. Maybe next year, we can try to break our record on that coaster. Signed, your best bud, Jason.''
:''[Later that night… Jason and Michelle are saying their prayers before going to bed]''
:'''Grandmum''': Nighty-night, cupcakes. Time to say your prayers.
:'''Jason &amp; Michelle''': Dear God…
:'''Michelle''': Please bless Grandmum and keep my Mommy and Daddy safe on their trip.
:'''Jason''': And thank you for teaching me the importance of doing good things for people whenever I have the chance. And please watch over Preston. He's a really great mouse.
:'''Michelle''': Even if he did eat the bridal bouquet.
:'''Jason &amp; Michelle''': Amen.

===''Moon Menace on Planet Tell-a-Lie!''===
:'''Grandmum''': Like the Good Book says, &quot;Lies will get any man into trouble, but honesty is its own defense.&quot;

==Season 2 (2007-2008)==

===''I Scream, You Scream!''===
:'''Sol''': Like the Good Book says, &quot;Those who have knowledge use words with restraint, and those who are understanding are even tempered.&quot; Now that means the more you know, the less you get angry. And that's good. Anger just makes you lose control and he end up accusing others wrongly.
:'''Jason''': He talks like Grandmum.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Admiral Strap''': ''[on speaker] Penguins! Come in, penguins!''
:'''Zidgel''': Admiral Strap, sir! ''[salutes]''
:'''Michelle''': Uh, who's that?
:'''Fidgel''': That's Admiral Strap. Our commander at Federation HQ.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[The Rockhopper arrives at Grandmum's cottage in the attic, preparing to send Jason and Michelle back]''
:'''Zigel''': Well, until next time, cadets!
:'''Midgel''': G'bye, mates!
:'''Jason &amp; Michelle''': Goodbye!
:''[As Fidgel fires the galeezle, the claw pops out and falls on the floor, covered in gum]''
:'''Michelle''': Oh, no, what happened?
:'''Jason''': What happened?! Can't you see? The thing's broken!
:'''Michelle''': How?
:'''Fidgel''': ''[examines the gum]'' Hmm… Corn syrup, soy lecithin, and titanium dioxide, if I'm not very much mistaken. A construct otherwise known as…
:'''Jason''': Hubby chubby bubble gum! Oh, no! ''[angrily points to Michelle]'' It was ''you!'' You must have spit it out when the galeezle pulled us in!
:'''Michelle''': I wasn't the only one with hubby chubby! You were chewing it too!
:'''Jason''': I swallowed mine!
:'''Michelle''': Well, I didn't do it! You must have done it!
:'''Jason''': I didn't do it! ''You'' did!
:'''Michelle''': No, ''you'' did!
:'''Zidgel''': Ah, ah! Temper, temper. Here we go, accusing each other again! Remember what old Sol told us: not smart without all the facts.
:'''Jason''': Well, the fact ''is'' we aren't going to be able to get back to Grandmum's and it's all Michelle's fault!
:'''Michelle''': Can you fix it, Fidgel?
:'''Fidgel''': Well, um…it's not…Well, I can try.
:'''Jason''': &quot;Try?!&quot; Oh, no! We're going to stay this size? I'm only as big as my little finger!
:'''Michelle''': Can you make it work again?
:'''Fidgel''': ''[pulls out a small, burned out device covered in gum]'' This is what makes it work. The metric magnetic matter disperser. The only one in existence as far as I know! Without this, the galeezle is useless! I fear the bubble gum has burnt it out.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Fidgel''': Jason, Michelle, would you like a sandwich?
:'''Jason''': ''[disappointed about not getting back to Grandmum's cottage]'' No. I just want Grandmum's cocoa.
:'''Michelle''': I thought you weren't talking to me.
:'''Jason''': I ''wasn't'' talking to you, you galeezle breaker!
:'''Michelle''': I didn't break it. ''You'' did! Your gum must've come out when you were screaming like a baby.
:'''Jason''': ''[infuriated]'' Screaming like a baby?!
:'''Michelle''': Yes, you always scream like a baby when galeezled into the ship!
:'''Zidgel''': ''[enters the main room after taking a shower with his hair all droopy; angrily accusing Kevin]'' KEVIN! YOU'VE BEEN INTO MY SHAMPOO AGAIN!
:'''Midgel''': Calm down, captain.
:'''Zidgel''': Calm down? Calm down?! ''[to Kevin]'' Listen to me! &quot;Ridiculous proportions shampoo&quot; is shampoo! Do you hear me? ''Shampoo!'' But you always use it as a body wash! A ''body wash!'' Do you know how much ''body'' you have to wash?!
:''[Kevin reacts with confusion]''
:'''Midgel''': Now, wait just a minute, captain. Didn't you say earlier that we shouldn't be too quick to accuse each other? ''[gasps in shock when he sees his Boomerangutan poster on the table; accusing Fidgel in outrage]'' Doc! Doc! What have you done to my poster?!
:'''Fidgel''': I-I just needed something to protect the table.
:'''Midgel''': ''[frustrated]'' Do you know how much this is worth?! It was from the last tour of the Boomerangutans!
:'''Fidgel''': ''[retorting]'' Well, if you wouldn't leave your quarters in such a mess, how am I to know what's rare and what's rubbish?
:''[Jason and Michelle cover their ears, trying to block out the arguing]''
:'''Jason''': Nice going, Michelle!
:'''Michelle''': What?! Now you're blaming ''me'' for this?!
:'''Jason''': We wouldn't even be here if you hadn't broken the galeezle!

===''The Green-eyed Monster''===

===''Lazy Daze''===
:''[The Rockhopper pulls up at the Comet Lounge]''
:'''Zidgel''': Captain's blog, we're going on a picnic.
:'''Michelle''': So, what are we doing here?
:'''Midgel''': Had to stop off for some supplies, first. Soda pop, sandwiches, you know.
:'''Fidgel''': ''[as they enter]'' Don't forget the chocolate bars and marshmallows!
:'''Jason''': Oh, great! I love eating s'mores!
:'''Fidgel''': Eating? Oh, no, I need them for a new fuel experiment.
:'''Midgel''': Now don't take all day with your science project stuff, Doctor. We're here to get in, get supplies, and get out. No nonsense.
:'''Fidgel''': I assure you, my experiments are not nonsense.
:'''Midgel''': What about the time you tried to make glass invisible so you can see through it?
:'''Fidgel''': Well, it worked, didn't it?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jason''': What's wrong with being lazy?
:'''Sol''': Well, just think, if I didn't work around here, nobody would get served, dirty dishes would pile up. Pretty soon the whole place would stink!
:'''Michelle''': Like Jason's room!
:'''Sol''': ''[chuckles]'' Old Sol says, &quot;The lazy person wants many things, but has nothing. But the person who is diligent and hardworking, truly has it all.&quot; You want to be diligent, right, kids?
:'''Jason''': Actually, the picnic sounds more fun.
:'''Sol''': ''[laughs]'' I'm sure it does. You just keep an eye on those ants, you hear?
:'''Jason''': We will. Is it just me, or is he weird?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Fidgel''': ''[opens the storage bay, but it's all piled up with junk]'' Oh, dear me.
:'''Midgel''': What's got your knickers in a knot, doc?
:'''Fidgel''': Well, I'm scheduled to run a diagnostic test on the Harryhausen ray, but it's in the back of this storage bay, and I can't get to it.
:'''Midgel''': Harryhausen ray? What's that?
:'''Fidgel''': Oh, it's simply a device that halts movement on a molecular level.
:'''Midgel''': ''[not understanding]'' In the Queen's English, Fidge.
:'''Fidgel''': Yes. It stops action, freezes things in time and space.
:'''Midgel''': Classic. But it looks like you could use some help.
:'''Fidgel''': Oh, why thank you.
:'''Midgel''': If I see anyone available, I'll send 'em round.
:'''Fidgel''': ''[enters Jason's room, finding him laying lazily on his bed]'' Hello, Jason. I hear you're looking to earn some extra money for sea chimps?
:'''Jason''': Yeah!
:'''Fidgel''': Well, the storage bay is in a bit of a mess. What say I hire you to clean it?
:'''Jason''': Hire? You mean like a job? I'm kinda busy. Maybe later. Uh, doc? Turn the page for me. I can't reach.

===''More Is More''===

===''Give and Let Give''===
:'''Jason''': ''[enters Michelle's room while following the smelling scent and spots a cupcake on the table, tries to eat it, but Michelle swipes it from him]'' Let me have a cupcake. I'll tell Grandmum you've learned your lesson when we get back.
:'''Michelle''': No. ''I'' made them, I say who gets one.
:'''Jason''': (Oh, I get it.) You won't give me one because you're still mad about play-ser tag.
:'''Michelle''': Yeah, it was no fair. I was sick of being it.
:'''Jason''': At least I shared with you.
:'''Michelle''': You gave me the broken one.
:'''Jason''': This one? It's a new invention. Fidgel even said it didn't work right. ''[turns on the device and a straight and spiral beam fires and goes around the room until it reaches him]''
:'''Michelle''': No thanks, that thing is a play-ser tag magnet. Wherever I hid in the room, that beam would find me. I was it the whole time!
:'''Jason''': Fine, but it's not ''my'' fault it doesn't work. Keep your stale old cupcakes. ''[leaves the room in a huff]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Midgel''': ''[as Kevin sticks his head in the sand]'' What do you think you're doing?
:'''Kevin''': Looking for water.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Midgel''': Fidge, give me your spectrometer.
:'''Fidgel''': What for?
:'''Midgel''': I wanna try something.
:'''Fidget''': No, you'll break it.
:'''Midgel''': What?
:'''Michelle''': Can't he borrow it for a moment? He might be able to get us free.
:'''Fidgel''': No, he's ''never'' careful with my things. It's a delicate device.
:'''Michelle''': But, doctor, what about Sol's cookie? What about sharing?
:'''Fidgel''': Well, what do you want it for, anyway?
:'''Midgel''': I need to get back to the ship to get a fix on the pump, so you can find it, override the signal, and turn it back on.
:'''Michelle''': Please? This is no time to be stingy.
:'''Fidgel''': ''[reluctantly]'' Don't get any sand in it.
:'''Midgel''': Thank you. I'll head to the ship. You look around here, keep your communicator on.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Midgel''': Fidgel, come in! Do you read me?
:'''Fidgel''': Well, it's about time. They've got the captain trussed up like a Christmas package.
:'''Midgel''': That's not good, I mean, unless it actually was Christmas.

===''Practical Hoax''===
:'''Zidgel''': You're getting the seat wet, Michelle.
:'''Michelle''': You can thank Jason (for that).
:'''Zidgel''': Oh, thank you, Jason.

===''Comedy of Errors''===

===''Compassion Crashin'''===

===''Wiki Tiki''===
:'''Grandmum''': Michelle, is this the way I've taught you to rinse the dishes?
:'''Michelle''': ''[sees the sink overflowing; alarmed]'' Oh, no! ''[quickly turns it off and places a towel on the wet floor]''
:'''Grandmum''': And, Jason, you didn't replace the plastic liner in this trash can.
:'''Jason''': Sorry, Grandmum, I'll go get it right now.
:'''Michelle''': I guess I was in too big a hurry. I'm sorry.
:'''Grandmum''': Remember what the Good Book says, &quot;Enthusiasm without knowledge is ''no'' good. Haste makes mistakes.&quot;
:'''Jason''': Is that a real proverb?
:'''Grandmum''': It jolly well is. Take the time to listen and do it right the first time.
:'''Jason''': Like the trash liner. I'm on it.
:'''Grandmum''': You'll just make a mess if you rush.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jason''': Now where's that spaceship? It was right here!
:'''Michelle''': Jason, you heard Grandmum. We got to put the clean sheets on our beds.
:'''Jason''': I did.
:'''Michelle''': ''[sternly]'' Jason.
:'''Jason''': It's fine. I'll make the bed later. ''[Midgel galeezles both him and Michelle into the Rockhopper]'' Whoa, definitely later.
:'''Michelle''': Hey, thanks, Midgel. Where is everybody?
:'''Midgel''': Sorry, Michelle, no time for chit chat, we got to get going. ''[The kids are strapped to their seats and buckle up]'' The others are at the Comet Lounge making sure Sol doesn't run out of the afternoon special.
:'''Jason and Michelle''': Sol's Aurora Borealis fruit punch!
:'''Jason''': What are we waiting for?!
:'''Jason, Michelle, and Midgel''': BONSAI!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:''[The Rockhopper arrives at the Comet Lounge and Jason, Michelle, and Midgel enter where the rest of the crew are already there]''
:'''Midgel''': Where's the Aurora Borealis punch?
:'''Fidgel''': Sol hasn't lit the sign, yet.
:'''Midgel''': Whew. I'd hate to miss the Aurora Borealis. Best fruit punch in the galaxy.
:'''Fidgel''': Hey, I was in line first.
:'''Zidgel''': Captains first, then everyone else.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jason''': You were right, Michelle. We didn't take our time and we made mistakes.
:'''Michelle''': Captain Zidgel? Jason and I have realized something.
:'''Zidgel''': Can't stop it. Tried everything.
:'''Jason''': Captain, we ''have'' tried everything, except listening.
:'''Zidgel''': Listening? What do you mean?
:'''Michelle''': Grandmum told us, enthusiasm without knowledge is no good.
:'''Jason''': And haste makes mistakes.
:'''Zidgel''': Translated, means…is this a tongue twister?
:'''Fidgel''': Wait, I think I know. Rushing to do things in your own enthusiasm instead of taking time to understand and think causes problems.
:'''Midgel''': Cuz you'll just make a mess if you hurry.
:'''Kevin''': Yeah, big mess.
:'''Jason''': Right, we've been in such a hurry to get back to the Comet Lounge for Sol's aurora borealis fruit punch--
:'''Michelle''': That we've been running with the first ideas that popped into our heads. Nobody listened to the tiki king.

===''Invasion of the Body Swappers!''===
:'''Midgel''': Hey, Mish, everything all right?
:'''Michelle''': Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Midgel, do you, do you think I'm pretty?
:'''Midgel''': What? ''[nervously laughs]'' Well, to tell you the truth, Michelle, I really don't know much about that sort of thing. To me, the prettiest thing in the world is the Rockhopper. She's a beaut, she is.
:'''Fidgel''': ''[tweaking the galeezle as Michelle enters the main room]'' Oh, hello, dear. I've been tweaking the galeezle device. Would you like to help me?
:'''Michelle''': Fidgel, do you think I'm pretty?
:'''Fidgel''': Pretty? Uh, well, pretty is as pretty does, as my mom always used to say. ''[pulls out a photo of his mother]'' Ah, Mum was the prettiest woman in the world.

===''Git Along Little Doggies!''===

===''Wise Guys''===
:'''Grandmum''': The Good Book says, &quot;Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end, you will be wise.&quot;
:'''Michelle''': You? Wise? Not likely.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jason''': ''[as his sister, Midgel, Fidgel, and Kevin all glare annoyingly at him]'' No, that was not my fault. It was the lousy time machine. It didn't even work!
:'''Michelle''': Or maybe you didn't listen to any advice!
:''[They hear the sounds of laughing and coughing and see two elderly penguins sitting in rocking chairs, but it turns out, they're the future versions of Midgel and Fidgel]''
:'''Future Midgel''': Looks like they didn't get the transmission.
:'''Future Fidgel''': And I dare say Jason ignored our warnings about the time machine.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Jason''': This is fantastic!
:'''Midgel''': Exactly how is this fantastic, Jason?
:'''Jason''': ''[to Fidgel]'' Your time machine worked! We're in the future! This is the coolest thing ever!
:'''Fidgel''': Not to dampen your enthusiasm, young man, but our situation is, in fact, quite dire.
:'''Jason''': What do you mean?
:'''Midgel''': Our ship's destroyed, who knows how much the time machine's been damaged? Jason, face the facts.
:'''Future Midgel''': The odds are, you and your sister are stuck here with us, '''''forever.'''''
:'''Jason''': ''[horrified] '''NO!!!!'''''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;&gt;
:'''Michelle''': Kevin's getting '''''younger!'''''

===''Hogs and Kisses''===
:''[The Lizard King finds Jason in the back of his truck when he tries to run away]''
:'''Lizard King''': Great Bullamanka! A human ice pop! What are you doin' in there?
:'''Jason''': ''[shivering from the cold]'' R-r-running away?
:'''Lizard King''': Not on board my ship, you don't. No stowaways. I got a firm rule against such things. ''[pulls him out of the cargo hold; recognizing him]'' Wait a minute, I know you! You're the mate aboard the Rockhopper, under Captain Zidgel.
:'''Jason''': P-p-please. You gotta let me stay. I-I can't go back there.
:'''Lizard King''': Why not?
:'''Jason''': They say things that hurt my feelings... supposed to be helpful.
:'''Lizard King''': Oh, it's like that, is it? Always telling you what to do, eh? Giving you orders, do this, do that. Making you feel bad by saying things you don't wanna hear, eh mate?
:'''Jason''': Yeah!
:'''Lizard King''': Ha! Get over it! You're a shipmate. Taking orders is what you do. Whatever they're telling you is probably for your own good.

==Season 3 (2008)==

===''12 Angry Hens''===

===''Kennel Club Blues''===

===''Oh, Mercy!''===

===''Promises, Promises, Promises''===

===''Do Unto Brothers''===

===''Between an Asteroid and a Hard Place''===

===''In the Big House''===

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
[[Category:American children's animated space adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American preschool education TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fiction TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:TV shows about penguins]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about children]]
[[Category:Television series on DVD]]
[[Category:Qubo shows]]</text>
      <sha1>iiomc7mtv03dqc68xevdj9fnbff2ngy</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>The Boys (TV series)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>250435</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943862</id>
      <parentid>3943387</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:08:52Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* External links */</comment>
      <origin>3943862</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1460" sha1="qcvepuqg79swlq3odktngg97pric9jj" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Comiccon Brussels 2023 - Cosplay of Homelander.jpg|thumb|It was perfect.]]
{{italic title}}
----
:'''Season''' [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 1|1]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 2|2]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 3|3]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 4|4]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 5|5]]  [[The Boys (TV series)|Main]]
----
'''''[[w:The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]''''' is an American superhero television series developed by Eric Kripke for [[w:Amazon Prime Video|Amazon Prime Video]]. Based on [[w:The Boys (comics)|the comic book of the same name]] by [[w:Garth Ennis|Garth Ennis]] and [[w:Darick Robertson|Darick Robertson]], it follows the eponymous team of vigilantes as they combat superpowered individuals who abuse their abilities.

== Season 1 ==
{{Main|The Boys (TV series)/Season 1}}

== Season 2 ==
{{Main|The Boys (TV series)/Season 2}}

== Season 3 ==
{{Main|The Boys (TV series)/Season 3}}

== Season 4 ==
{{Main|The Boys (TV series)/Season 4}}

== Season 5 ==
{{Main|The Boys (TV series)/Season 5}}

== See also ==
* ''[[Gen V]]''
* ''[[The Boys Presents: Diabolical]]''

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
*{{IMDb title|id=1190634}}
{{The Boys}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Boys (TV series), The}}
[[Category:The Boys]]
[[Category:The Boys (TV series)]]
[[Category:2010s American satirical TV shows]]
[[Category:2020s American satirical TV shows]]
[[Category:Superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Amazon Prime Video shows]]</text>
      <sha1>qcvepuqg79swlq3odktngg97pric9jj</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>User talk:Lemonaka</title>
    <ns>3</ns>
    <id>251541</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943979</id>
      <parentid>3943570</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T15:11:04Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>MABot</username>
        <id>3002050</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>Bot: Archiving 1 thread (older than 15 days) to [[User talk:Lemonaka/Archive/1]]</comment>
      <origin>3943979</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="2199" sha1="mt5e302u7i6o40c463l6khuwiuu6kpx" xml:space="preserve">{{User:MABot/config
|archive = User talk:Lemonaka/Archive/%(counter)d
|algo = old(15d)
|counter = 1
|maxarchivesize = 300K
|minthreadsleft = 2
|archiveheader = archives
|minthreadstoarchive = 1
}}

== If you're still around, can you update this? ==

[[User:Lemonaka/LTAs/Nate_Speed|Your documentation on SoulEaterFan]] mentions that he's Nate Speed, but after looking at a lot of the older edits, this appears to not be Nate Speed, but a different person named Evilasio da Paz. [[User:03isrflo62410|03isrflo62410]] ([[User talk:03isrflo62410|talk]]) 20:58, 8 April 2026 (UTC)

:You don't seem to be active as much anymore (your last contribution was March 27th at the time of this post) so I renamed the page for you. [[User:03isrflo62410|03isrflo62410]] ([[User talk:03isrflo62410|talk]]) 19:15, 23 April 2026 (UTC)
:: Sure, thank you. -[[user:Lemonaka|‎&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue; text-shadow:jet 0 0.2em 0.2em; font-family:Segoe Print; font-size: 13px&quot;&gt;'''Lemonaka'''‎&lt;/span&gt;]] 14:03, 7 May 2026 (UTC)

== You may be eligible to vote in the U4C election ==

&lt;section begin=&quot;announcement-content&quot; /&gt;
I am contacting you because you previously voted in elections related to the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Universal_Code_of_Conduct/Coordinating_Committee|Universal Code of Conduct Coordinating Committee (U4C)]]. You may be eligible to vote in the current U4C election, which is open now and closes on 2 June 2026. You can find out more about the candidates and the election on [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Universal_Code_of_Conduct/Coordinating_Committee/Election/2026|the election page on Meta]], and from there you can access the vote itself. Your participation in these elections is important to the governance of Wikimedia communities, and your time spent learning about the candidates and voting is appreciated.

-- In cooperation with the U4C, [[m:User:Keegan (WMF)|Keegan (WMF)]] ([[m:User talk:Keegan (WMF)|talk]])&lt;section end=&quot;announcement-content&quot; /&gt;

[[m:Keegan (WMF)|Keegan (WMF)]] ([[m:User_talk:Keegan (WMF)|talk]]) 16:35, 20 May 2026 (UTC)
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:Keegan (WMF)@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Keegan_(WMF)/test&amp;oldid=30569740 --&gt;</text>
      <sha1>mt5e302u7i6o40c463l6khuwiuu6kpx</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>User talk:Lemonaka/Archive/1</title>
    <ns>3</ns>
    <id>256439</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943978</id>
      <parentid>3934658</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T15:10:54Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>MABot</username>
        <id>3002050</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>Bot: Archiving 1 thread from [[User talk:Lemonaka]]</comment>
      <origin>3943978</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="38973" sha1="0qr2oz2ekk7uxltduwdso3aprr144zz" xml:space="preserve">archives

== Your comment on the Village pump ==

Hi {{PAGENAME}},

RE:&lt;blockquote&gt;If you believe there is something wrong, please appeal to stewards directly, we cannot revert stewards action.&lt;/blockquote&gt;

I just wanted to let you know that I do not believe Individual users, especially blocked users such as myself, can appeal blocks on behalf of others. I am raising [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikiquote:Village_pump#Global_ban_for_for_risto_hot_sir? this issue] as a matter of concern for the whole ENWQ community [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 22:51, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
: Hi, @[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]], you are blocked on meta but if this is a community consensus for unlocking risto, I'm happy to help you appeal it on meta. However, I haven't see any of such consensus. [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]] ([[User talk:Lemonaka|talk]]) 22:54, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
::I agree there has been no consensus on  ENWQ to appeal on behalf of risto. What's more I believe  that you should not take it upon yourself to start an appeal, unless you yourself get consensus by the community do this. [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 14:58, 23 February 2023 (UTC)
== This is a test topic for archiving ==

This is a test topic for archiving, Please do not reply on this topic. Thanks. [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]] ([[User talk:Lemonaka|talk]]) 07:33, 27 February 2023 (UTC)
== Cadenabbia ==

A page that you have been involved in editing, [[:Cadenabbia]], has been listed for [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion|deletion]].  All contributions are appreciated, but it may not satisfy Wikiquote's criteria for inclusion, for the reasons given in the nomination for deletion (see also [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote|what Wikiquote is]] and [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not|is not]]). If you are interested in the discussion, please participate by adding your comments at [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Cadenabbia]]. Also, please consider improving the article to address the issues raised. Thank you.  [[User:DeirgeDel|DeirgeDel]]&lt;sup&gt;[[User talk:DeirgeDel| t]]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sub&gt;[[:m:User:DeirgeDel/A|a]]&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;sup&gt;[[Special:Contributions/DeirgeDel|c]]&lt;/sup&gt; 10:33, 27 February 2023 (UTC)

:I know you speedie'd this but I did not feel it was speedy; though certainly a VFD was reasonable.  As an aside note the creator also created [[Holy Nail]], [[Torno]]. [[Giuseppe d'Arimatea]]: [[Isola Comacina]], [[Val Codera]], [[Colico]] &amp; {{noredirect|Piona}} (now a redirect) this morning which have a common themes of legends following the crucifixion of Jesus Christ and related to Lake Como; almost to the extent of pushing a theme though its not quite that simple. -- [[User:DeirgeDel|DeirgeDel]]&lt;sup&gt;[[User talk:DeirgeDel| t]]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sub&gt;[[:m:User:DeirgeDel/A|a]]&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;sup&gt;[[Special:Contributions/DeirgeDel|c]]&lt;/sup&gt; 10:33, 27 February 2023 (UTC)
:: @[[User:DeirgeDel|DeirgeDel]]Thanks for the head up, I thought it was not a quote so I tag for speedy, but if this can be considered as quotes, surely a VFD is better. [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]] ([[User talk:Lemonaka|talk]]) 07:15, 28 February 2023 (UTC)
== Susan Wojcicki ==

A page that you have been involved in editing, [[:Susan Wojcicki]], has been listed for [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion|deletion]].  All contributions are appreciated, but it may not satisfy Wikiquote's criteria for inclusion, for the reasons given in the nomination for deletion (see also [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote|what Wikiquote is]] and [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not|is not]]). If you are interested in the discussion, please participate by adding your comments at [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Susan Wojcicki]]. Also, please consider improving the article to address the issues raised. Thank you.  [[User:DeirgeDel|DeirgeDel]]&lt;sup&gt;[[User talk:DeirgeDel| t]]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sub&gt;[[:m:User:DeirgeDel/A|a]]&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;sup&gt;[[Special:Contributions/DeirgeDel|c]]&lt;/sup&gt; 00:21, 6 March 2023 (UTC)
== You are now an administrator on English Wikiquote ==

Congratulations on your successful application for adminiship. Cheers! [[User:BD2412|&lt;span style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122);&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/span&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 13:03, 10 March 2023 (UTC)
: Thank you, thank you so much!@[[User:BD2412|BD2412]] [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]] ([[User talk:Lemonaka|talk]]) 13:20, 10 March 2023 (UTC)

Congratulations and welcome aboard! ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 13:51, 10 March 2023 (UTC)
: @[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] Thank you, thank you so much! I'm glad that I can help. [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]] ([[User talk:Lemonaka|talk]]) 13:52, 10 March 2023 (UTC)

Congratulations and well deserved! -- [[User:DeirgeDel|DeirgeDel]]&lt;sup&gt;[[User talk:DeirgeDel| t]]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sub&gt;[[:m:User:DeirgeDel/A|a]]&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;sup&gt;[[Special:Contributions/DeirgeDel|c]]&lt;/sup&gt; 16:20, 10 March 2023 (UTC)
: Thank you, thank you so much! I'm glad that I can help. [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]] ([[User talk:Lemonaka|talk]]) 06:28, 12 March 2023 (UTC)

Congratulations!! --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 23:19, 10 March 2023 (UTC)
: Thank you, thank you so much! I'm glad that I can help. [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]] ([[User talk:Lemonaka|talk]]) 06:28, 12 March 2023 (UTC)
== Proding for no-quotes ==

I'd generally suggest waiting a while longer before PRODing for no-quotes as at [[Special:Diff/3263372]].  And if the PROD is removed without explanation to then raise a VFD. Last time you ended up [[Special:Diff/3262618|making this recusal]] which i think you should think long and hard about and the implications and see if you can think of any learning points. Thankyou. -- [[User:DeirgeDel|DeirgeDel]]&lt;sup&gt;[[User talk:DeirgeDel| t]]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sub&gt;[[:m:User:DeirgeDel/A|a]]&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;sup&gt;[[Special:Contributions/DeirgeDel|c]]&lt;/sup&gt; 10:49, 13 March 2023 (UTC)
: Another point of view is just speedy delete them rather than {{tl|prod}}. If someone starts a Wiki''quote'' article without having a ''quote'' in mind then they are on the wrong website. If appropriate, the {{tl|WQisnot1}} template or similar message may be used after the fact. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] ([[User talk:Ningauble|talk]]) 20:18, 13 March 2023 (UTC)
::@{{u|Ningauble}}: The short answer is I find it simplest to agree with you as it is line with [[WQ:CSD#Articles]] (No. content) and there is a possibility but not certainty in my opinion one or more anon IP's are using this disruptively. -- [[User:DeirgeDel|DeirgeDel]]&lt;sup&gt;[[User talk:DeirgeDel| t]]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sub&gt;[[:m:User:DeirgeDel/A|a]]&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;sup&gt;[[Special:Contributions/DeirgeDel|c]]&lt;/sup&gt; 00:10, 14 March 2023 (UTC)
: @[[User:DeirgeDel|DeirgeDel]] Hello, thanks for your advice. Once upon a time, if some article came up with no quotes, they were tagged with CSD and got speedily deleted. Prod is a wait and hold up for the whole project, I believe if we tag them as PROD then inform creators of the articles, is there job to fix and add the templates, not our jobs. If they added up with quotes, then they can remove PROD with reasons instead of without explanations. [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]] ([[User talk:Lemonaka|talk]]) 00:25, 14 March 2023 (UTC)
: Nowadays, PROD and SD both applied to articles without any quotes, it needs some judgements for why choose one instead of another. Anyway, I'm inclined to take @[[User:DeirgeDel|DeirgeDel]]'s advice, give all the users more time and using PROD if no one came up with a CSD template. [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]] ([[User talk:Lemonaka|talk]]) 00:27, 14 March 2023 (UTC)
:: I'd tend to make a distinction between registered users who have some accountability if they are around for some time and anon-IP users who have no such accountability and may be gaming weakness to cause disruption.  If there was a template that could be applied to articles without quotes and putting them is a category that might be more helpful, and it would also apply to articles where the only quote has been removed or disputed.  This may now be developing into a discussion that should be occurring on the Administrator's notice board or possibly the village pump.  I'm currently max'd out and have a RL serious stuff to deal with so I can't help much. -- [[User:DeirgeDel|DeirgeDel]]&lt;sup&gt;[[User talk:DeirgeDel| t]]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sub&gt;[[:m:User:DeirgeDel/A|a]]&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;sup&gt;[[Special:Contributions/DeirgeDel|c]]&lt;/sup&gt; 00:35, 14 March 2023 (UTC)
::: FYI – There are CSD templates at {{tl|delete}} and {{tl|db}}. (The odd name stood for &quot;'''D'''elete '''B'''ecause&quot;.) ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] ([[User talk:Ningauble|talk]]) 00:51, 14 March 2023 (UTC)
:::: Yes, eh, maybe @[[User:DeirgeDel|DeirgeDel]] is asking for a specific template for no quote? [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]] ([[User talk:Lemonaka|talk]]) 00:55, 14 March 2023 (UTC)
::::: Yep. I'm in a rush, can't sleep, so I'm kluged up {{tl|Noquotes}} as a starter for ten.  I might have to hand this baton to someone else but it may be useful in some cases. -- [[User:DeirgeDel|DeirgeDel]]&lt;sup&gt;[[User talk:DeirgeDel| t]]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sub&gt;[[:m:User:DeirgeDel/A|a]]&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;sup&gt;[[Special:Contributions/DeirgeDel|c]]&lt;/sup&gt; 01:54, 14 March 2023 (UTC)
== Editing while claiming short Wikibreak ==

I'd like to be able to respect your short Wikibreak but you seem to be carrying on actions in that Wikibreak. Your choice of edit summary on that announcement on 3264703 was poor, as it did not refer to myself as ''DeirgeDel''. I've even been to the trouble of requesting oversight on that summary which has been declined so I'll manage that a different way. Per [[:Special:Diff/3265884]] you seem to imply by the phrase &quot;even if I sympathized with you&quot; that you distinctly do not sympathize with me ... whether that was a result of [[:w:en:Special:Diff/1144564149]], me initially opposing you and subsequently recusing at your RFA, my indirect referral to [[:Special:Diff/3265639|here]] where your removal of CSDs was totally correct but I was critical of your comment which I felt implied full ratification all 6 should be sent to VFD. Or perhaps to other minor disagreements post RFA I do not know.  Perhaps you simply ought to kick me towards a 7-1 or 7-2 against Matt?  Anyway the particular reason for my visit today was [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Log?type=delete&amp;user=&amp;page=Template%3AUkraine&amp;wpdate=2023-03-17&amp;tagfilter=&amp;subtype=&amp;wpFormIdentifier=logeventslist this action today].  You indicate awareness of [[:Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Template:Ukraine]] but have not closed that VFD (which is meant to run for another three days)! I'd recommend that template is restored and the VFD left to run. -- [[User:DeirgeDel|DeirgeDel]]&lt;sup&gt;[[User talk:DeirgeDel| t]]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sub&gt;[[:m:User:DeirgeDel/A|a]]&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;sup&gt;[[Special:Contributions/DeirgeDel|c]]&lt;/sup&gt; 10:17, 17 March 2023 (UTC)
: @[[User:DeirgeDel|DeirgeDel]] Sorry for this disruption. The template was restored by UDScott and I was sorry for poorly dealing with VFD issues. Referring to &quot;even if I sympathized with you&quot;, I'd like to say I sympathized with you, but I cannot do anything on English Wikipedia, AFAIK, I'm not a sysop there and cannot get the information from UTRS. Maybe you can ask the one who blocked you there for help.&lt;br&gt;Oh, sorry if there's any misunderstanding, I'd want to make a clarification. Though I'd like to take a break, thinking of what I can do for you, I'd never wanted to kick you. Normally, a template totally unused and incomplete can be SD as housekeeping work, but since a VFD was taken place, it needs to wait for a little more time to discuss. [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]] ([[User talk:Lemonaka|talk]]) 17:25, 17 March 2023 (UTC)
:: no problems. Thanks for explanation and draw a line under and move on.  I was reluctant to call an SD on it case I'd made a mistake (wasn't sure that I could raise an SD).  You make less mistakes than I do so you'll move on from it and won't do it again - unlike me you can immediately made the same mistake again. I'm more interested in the rescue of GL &amp; BLR currently quite frankly. -- [[User:DeirgeDel|DeirgeDel]]&lt;sup&gt;[[User talk:DeirgeDel| t]]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sub&gt;[[:m:User:DeirgeDel/A|a]]&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;sup&gt;[[Special:Contributions/DeirgeDel|c]]&lt;/sup&gt; 20:20, 17 March 2023 (UTC)
== you've got mail ==

I responded to your email. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 19:16, 23 March 2023 (UTC)
== Just a minor question. ==

I did an edit to [[The PJs]], and you thanked me for it. I just want to know why you thanked me, considering that the article was made by me and I'm the only editor. [[User:03isrflo62410|03isrflo62410]] ([[User talk:03isrflo62410|talk]]) 23:22, 24 March 2023 (UTC)
: Oh, sorry, I'd like to thank you for all the checks and reviews, and I found this is your latest edits, so I thanked you there. [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]] ([[User talk:Lemonaka|talk]]) 23:24, 24 March 2023 (UTC)
== Thread on the VP (consensus for WD) needs closing ==

Hi {{PAGENAME}}:

The thread at [[Wikiquote:Village_pump#Need_consensus_from_members_of_this_community_for_connecting_pages_to_wikidata]] needs closing. There is currently a consensus of 4 in Supporrt. Since at VFD discussions are routinely closed with a consensus much smaller than 4, isn’t it time to close this request as successful? Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 15:10, 20 March 2023 (UTC)
: @[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] Hi, thanks for your notice. It seemed Djm-leighpark has made a conclusion for the discussion, and I'd like it to be endorsed by other more established sysops. [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]] ([[User talk:Lemonaka|talk]]) 15:23, 25 March 2023 (UTC)
== Contributions to discussions ==

Please be very careful about which changes in discussions, especially important discussion, you mark as minor. Also be very careful about changing/extending content after you've written it. I note [[:special:Diff/3273024]] as a particular problem. I know no-one has replied to it but in my view you really don't know who has read that in the preceding half hour. Many would argue against me but I personally strongly believe you broken the log.  The minor is really for an obvious minor spelling/grammar error.  I'd also note in my view there is a problem with your VFD cleanup at [[:special:Diff/3272673]] but I don't want to say any more about that until the VFD is closed. If I elaborated any further it would need to be on that VFD. Having raised these points let me say I think your doing a really good and effect job overall as a rookie sysop here and a tremendous asset to the sysop team! Please remember I am hyper critical of others while being totally sloppy myself. -- [[User:DeirgeDel|DeirgeDel]]&lt;sup&gt;[[User talk:DeirgeDel| t]]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sub&gt;[[:m:User:DeirgeDel/A|a]]&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;sup&gt;[[Special:Contributions/DeirgeDel|c]]&lt;/sup&gt; 10:25, 27 March 2023 (UTC)
: @[[User:DeirgeDel|DeirgeDel]] Thanks for your comments and your advice, I will be careful with '''m''', however, I'm sorry that I don't understand what's wrong with [[Special:Diff/3272673]]. Normally, the end dates are just below the original request, I tried to change it into the correct format and I don't know what's wrong with that... Sorry if this is something related to my competence. [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]] ([[User talk:Lemonaka|talk]]) 00:14, 28 March 2023 (UTC)
:: I'm sorry I can't say more about the VFD related to 3272673 until it closes.  That was raised under my old active account Djm-leighpark and I wouldn't want to get involved as DeirgeDel on that.  I'll explain after the VFD closes. -- [[User:DeirgeDel|DeirgeDel]]&lt;sup&gt;[[User talk:DeirgeDel| t]]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sub&gt;[[:m:User:DeirgeDel/A|a]]&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;sup&gt;[[Special:Contributions/DeirgeDel|c]]&lt;/sup&gt; 00:39, 28 March 2023 (UTC) (It's a pretty minot point anyway so don't bother too much about it) -- [[User:DeirgeDel|DeirgeDel]]&lt;sup&gt;[[User talk:DeirgeDel| t]]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sub&gt;[[:m:User:DeirgeDel/A|a]]&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;sup&gt;[[Special:Contributions/DeirgeDel|c]]&lt;/sup&gt; 00:40, 28 March 2023 (UTC)
== Thank you! ==

What are your plans for the break? [[User:ShapirDoron|ShapirDoron]] ([[User talk:ShapirDoron|talk]]) 12:05, 1 April 2023 (UTC)
: I will be not so active as previous for a while since my laptop sent to repair. [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]] ([[User talk:Lemonaka|talk]]) 15:17, 1 April 2023 (UTC)
== Fake episodes ==

There's completely made-up fake fanfiction on the Season 14 page for SpongeBob. None of it is real. Idk why you undid my edits. {{Unsigned|24.239.74.171|00:45, 30 March 2023‎}}
: @[[Special:Contributions/24.239.74.171|24.239.74.171]] Page speedy per hoaxes, thanks for your report. [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]] ([[User talk:Lemonaka|talk]]) 07:23, 11 April 2023 (UTC)
== SoulEaterFan is at it again! ==

He's attacking the article for ''[[The Amazing World of Gumball]]'' and '''re-added''' all that SoulEaterFan nonsense. The edit in question where he restored all that junk had him insult you in the edit summary. Could you please revert the page back to how it originally was ''before'' that spam? [[User:03isrflo62410|03isrflo62410]] ([[User talk:03isrflo62410|talk]]) 18:57, 5 April 2023 (UTC)
:I've taken the liberty of reverting the changes, hiding the offensive edit summaries, and protecting the page. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 19:12, 5 April 2023 (UTC)
: @[[User:03isrflo62410|03isrflo62410]] I've range blocked them for 1 month, if they come back again in the future, please make another report. [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]] ([[User talk:Lemonaka|talk]]) 00:08, 6 April 2023 (UTC)
== Recusing from discussions ==

My understanding is, and I stand to be corrected, that from once you recuse from a discussion your going to stand back from it from that point.  To a degree clerking such as pointing out that double vote at [[:Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Kung Fu Panda: Secrets of the Scroll]] is reasonable. However by recusing from that discussion which means your not going to get involved again.  Your ''wait and see'' should in my opinion have been best accompanied by a neutral !vote which could be changed later. Possibly a lesson to be learned for the future. Overall I'm pleased you are learning the admin trade progressively and I'd also note Mr. Smith has been giving you a less on the English Wikipedia.  Best wishes. -- [[User:DeirgeDel|DeirgeDel]]&lt;sup&gt;[[User talk:DeirgeDel| t]]&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;sub&gt;[[:m:User:DeirgeDel/A|a]]&lt;/sub&gt;&lt;sup&gt;[[Special:Contributions/DeirgeDel|c]]&lt;/sup&gt; 08:51, 22 May 2023 (UTC)

{{Clear}}
== Ihor_Smeshko ==

I start https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Ihor_Smeshko in order to fill it with quotes of Ihor Smeshko, but before I start doing this it(page)  was deleted by you (page exist only few hors). Please advice me what I am doing wrongly, in other words what was the reason to delete the page? [[User:Kyrychenko Dmytro|Kyrychenko Dmytro]] ([[User talk:Kyrychenko Dmytro|talk]]) 10:43, 23 June 2023 (UTC)

:about Ihor Smeshko https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ihor_Smeshko [[User:Kyrychenko Dmytro|Kyrychenko Dmytro]] ([[User talk:Kyrychenko Dmytro|talk]]) 10:53, 23 June 2023 (UTC)
::his quotes in Ukrainian https://uk.wikiquote.org/wiki/%D0%A1%D0%BC%D0%B5%D1%88%D0%BA%D0%BE_%D0%86%D0%B3%D0%BE%D1%80_%D0%9F%D0%B5%D1%82%D1%80%D0%BE%D0%B2%D0%B8%D1%87?uselang=uk need to create English version [[User:Kyrychenko Dmytro|Kyrychenko Dmytro]] ([[User talk:Kyrychenko Dmytro|talk]]) 10:54, 23 June 2023 (UTC)
: @[[User:Kyrychenko Dmytro|Kyrychenko Dmytro]] I've restored this page, please add some quotes next time when you create pages. Nowadays, lots of user created article without quotes and didn't have any intention to fix them. I've been busy cleaning these mess and sorry a lot for this false positive. [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]] ([[User talk:Lemonaka|talk]]) 16:32, 23 June 2023 (UTC)
::Thank you so much! It is evening here in Kyiv now. You can check this page tomorrow evening - I will add some quotes. [[User:Kyrychenko Dmytro|Kyrychenko Dmytro]] ([[User talk:Kyrychenko Dmytro|talk]]) 17:01, 23 June 2023 (UTC)

{{Clear}}
== Please adjust blocking parameters ==

The blocked user User:Wheatfromchaff sent me the following mail:


 Why you want to waste time on Wikiquote?
 It's a thankless place, I can tell you.
 
 -- 
 This email was sent by Wheatfromchaff to TenWhile6 by the &quot;Email this user&quot; function at Wikiquote. If you reply to this email, your email will be sent directly to the original sender, revealing your email address to them.


Please also block e-mail for the account.

Greetings, [[User:TenWhile6|TenWhile6]] ([[User talk:TenWhile6|talk]]) 15:57, 11 August 2023 (UTC)

:Can confirm - [[User:XXBlackburnXx|XXBlackburnXx]] ([[User talk:XXBlackburnXx|talk]]) 16:18, 11 August 2023 (UTC)
::Second mail. [[User:TenWhile6|TenWhile6]] ([[User talk:TenWhile6|talk]]) 16:30, 11 August 2023 (UTC)
: @[[User:TenWhile6|TenWhile6]]@[[User:XXBlackburnXx|XXBlackburnXx]]{{Done}} Sorry for such an unpleasant experience. [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]] ([[User talk:Lemonaka|talk]]) 18:51, 11 August 2023 (UTC)

{{Clear}}
== I would like an explanation, please. ==

The IP address that added a boatload of SoulEaterFan nonsense on various articles was blocked for being someone named &quot;Nate&quot;. Who is this &quot;Nate&quot;, and do any of the other various IP address share similar behavior to this &quot;Nate&quot; you blocked? I do recall that one of MANY IPs that vandalized the Gumball article ''did'' make an insulting edit summary when you reverted his edits. [[User:03isrflo62410|03isrflo62410]] ([[User talk:03isrflo62410|talk]]) 18:57, 29 June 2023 (UTC)
: @[[User:03isrflo62410|03isrflo62410]] Please have a read on [[:w:wp:LTA/NATE|LTA/NATE]], this is an LTA called Nate Speed. [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]] ([[User talk:Lemonaka|talk]]) 18:59, 29 June 2023 (UTC)
::Okay, I've read that, and I can safely say that this &quot;SoulEaterFan&quot; person I keep mentioning is 100% this Nate guy. His constant insults to us aside, I vividly recall that over on the [[Fictional last words in animated television series]] article, after I removed his fake Gumball quote, [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Fictional_last_words_in_animated_television_series&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3323052 he responded with a long, insulting sentence before restoring the &quot;quote&quot;], and also said &quot; I WILL NEVER BE LIKE SOULEATERFAN FOR GODNESS [sic] SAKE&quot;, which, as I was doing research on him, led me to discovering [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:74.91.2.16&amp;diff=796947846&amp;oldid=796947755 this] edit where he tries to cover up the truth. Essentially, thanks to your help, I solved the case: This &quot;Nate&quot; has been SoulEaterFan all along! [[User:03isrflo62410|03isrflo62410]] ([[User talk:03isrflo62410|talk]]) 19:11, 29 June 2023 (UTC)
::: @[[User:03isrflo62410|03isrflo62410]] Checking previous contributions from {{user|67.182.43.60}}, lots of false quotes or information have been added to articles. I really don't know how to deal with them. [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]] ([[User talk:Lemonaka|talk]]) 19:18, 29 June 2023 (UTC)
::::The easiest thing is to revert the edits, and, if the quotes become too excessive, protect the article for a while. [[User:03isrflo62410|03isrflo62410]] ([[User talk:03isrflo62410|talk]]) 19:19, 29 June 2023 (UTC)
::::: Sorry, but it's really not the easy thing. Take a look on [[My Little Pony: Equestria Girls (film)]], their edits are mixed with good-faith edits from other users. [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]] ([[User talk:Lemonaka|talk]]) 19:22, 29 June 2023 (UTC)
::::::Sometimes its easy to identify the (clearly Nate/SoulEaterFan) quotes. For example, on the aforementioned article, his quote clearly uses characters that weren't in the film (such as Catra). [[User:03isrflo62410|03isrflo62410]] ([[User talk:03isrflo62410|talk]]) 19:25, 29 June 2023 (UTC)
::::::: Thanks, thank you so much. It's such a great thing that you are familiar with these topics. [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]] ([[User talk:Lemonaka|talk]]) 19:28, 29 June 2023 (UTC)

{{Clear}}
== Questions ==

::question how to I split the section like I did before I did it yesterday but now I can't remember how I did lol sorry about this [[User:Sandi74645|Sandi74645]] ([[User talk:Sandi74645|talk]]) 15:55, 30 September 2023 (UTC)
:Mr. MythXpose. Do you have administrators ship in this Wiki too? By the way, I am huge fan of your speedy delegation and speedy blocking works. So I asked it. How lucky my quotes would be after getting deleted by you and blocking of you that's owsome experience!! Getting blocked by you has always a thrilling experience. What a moment it would feel when got to know you the MythXpose rewarded the Block!! So happy to listen Like getting a free Europe tour package pass hearing the announcement. Great job. Your are not a human rather a God, a Saint or Something big like this!. [[Special:Contributions/2409:4081:AE15:28D7:0:0:CC0A:CE09|2409:4081:AE15:28D7:0:0:CC0A:CE09]] 23:07, 1 November 2023 (UTC)
::I have no idea what your talking my page is the sandbox because I refuse to use links because I don't like the way it looked lol [[User:Sandi74645|Sandi74645]] ([[User talk:Sandi74645|talk]]) 15:41, 2 November 2023 (UTC)

{{Clear}}
== To begin with, I'm not Lemonade. ==

Hi {{Pagename}},

I apologize for my autocomplete overactivity. I wrote your name properly in the edit summary but I guess it objected. Do you have any suggestions on how to fix this? I would appreciate a short non-techie response that will not send me off to read TLDRs.

Thanks in advance, [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 15:44, 22 November 2023 (UTC)
: https://beebom.com/how-turn-off-autocorrect-iphone-android/ [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]] ([[User talk:Lemonaka|talk]]) 15:53, 22 November 2023 (UTC)
== Suggestions about WD.js ==

Hello, I'm currently using WD.js at English Wikiquote, and I was suggested to use section headings like &quot;Month Year&quot; as same as the enwiki Twinkle when sending warnings ([[special:diff/3343808]]). Currently the section headings used at WD.js is based on the type of warnings (Editing tests, Vandalism, etc.). Can this style be changed to &quot;Subject (Month Year)&quot;? For example, I mean using &quot;Vandalism (August 2023)&quot; rather than just &quot;Vandalism&quot;. What do you think about this? [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 05:04, 13 August 2023 (UTC)
: @[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] Thanks for your suggestions, I didn't quite know how to do this, but I definitely agree about this change.  I will take a look on twinkle's scripts for inspirations. [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]] ([[User talk:Lemonaka|talk]]) 22:22, 13 August 2023 (UTC)

{{Clear}}
== Vasil Kacarov ==

Can you delete the vote-deletion?, it's really useless doing it, while we have good notability articles and is approved by the administrators. [[User:Админ.МК|Админ.МК]] ([[User talk:Админ.МК|talk]]) 06:13, 12 December 2023 (UTC)

:The administrators seem confused about who approved this. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 21:38, 13 December 2023 (UTC)

{{Clear}}
== Comment ==

I don't want to discourage SheSaid contributors...but yeah...a lot of what I've been doing recently has just been cleanup. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 14:31, 6 December 2023 (UTC)
: I'm trying to clean up, using search and replace for bad citation, using hotcat for terribly categorize. [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]] ([[User talk:Lemonaka|talk]]) 14:33, 6 December 2023 (UTC)
== Hokus-pokus VFD ==

Hi {{PAGENAME}},
 
On February 2, 2024 you deleted [[2023 Israel–Hamas war hostage crisis]] while a VFD in which this article was nominated for deletion by another [[User:HouseOfChange|ENWQ-admin]] was in progress. A couple of weeks later I discovered to my surprise that the page the community was discussing was no longer there, and commented about it on the VFD.

On February 24 you closed the VFD with this comment:
&quot;The result was: Ended this discussion per consensus on Special:Diff/3457748, conditional drafty, unless POV issue is solved.-‎Lemonaka‎ 06:07, 24 February 2024 (UTC).&quot;

Do '''secret''' Admin-deletions take precedence over community VFD discussions from now on? [[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]] ([[User talk:Ottawahitech|talk]]) 21:11, 25 February 2024 (UTC)
: There was a [[Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard#Can_admins_take_a_look_at_issues_here_around_Israel-Hamas_War? |public discussion]] at AN, to which you yourself contributed many comments. Based on consensus there, Lemonaka draftified the article, which is why its original name is now a redlink. You can still see the page and work to improve it at [[Draft:2023_Israel–Hamas_war_hostage_crisis]], but it is no longer available to search engines until it is in better shape. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 23:03, 25 February 2024 (UTC)
: Hello @[[User:Ottawahitech|Ottawahitech]]. It's not the first time you asking something without reading others' comment. I've left an obvious link (specialdiff) for that public discussion, and you are accusing me for something conspiracy, such as deep-state like secret actions. Such kinds of behaviour got you a block on English Wikipedia, e.g. lack of competence to read.&lt;br&gt;I took some time to read your contribution here, especially on sysop related case, and have to get a consensus (together with some sysops) that in terms of admistrative action, you are not so constructive. Please be careful about that -[[user:Lemonaka|‎&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue; text-shadow:jet 0 0.2em 0.2em; font-family:Segoe Print; font-size: 13px&quot;&gt;'''Lemonaka'''‎&lt;/span&gt;]] 02:45, 26 February 2024 (UTC)
== I think its safe to say that Nate Speed and SoulEaterFan are the same person. ==

SoulEaterFan has gained a reputation for [[Special:Diff/3495183|his random crossover edits]] on various articles. However, I've noticed similar patterns between both SEF and &quot;Nate Speed&quot;. For one, both seem to have major fixations on throwing in [[Special:Diff/3493896|random anime characters]], but the most prominent example are them constantly throwing in both Gumball and Catra, especially considering [[Special:Contributions/Me Gumball, You Catra|one of his most recent socks features BOTH of them]]. At this point, I feel that both are one singular person constantly trying to throw us off with his &quot;Evilasio da Paz&quot; persona. [[User:03isrflo62410|03isrflo62410]] ([[User talk:03isrflo62410|talk]]) 14:06, 7 April 2024 (UTC)
: Good, Page linked. -[[user:Lemonaka|‎&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue; text-shadow:jet 0 0.2em 0.2em; font-family:Segoe Print; font-size: 13px&quot;&gt;'''Lemonaka'''‎&lt;/span&gt;]] 17:02, 7 April 2024 (UTC)
== Error fixed ==

I fixed the error on my report. [[User:FilmandTVFan28|FilmandTVFan28]] ([[User talk:FilmandTVFan28|talk]]) 04:13, 14 August 2024 (UTC)
== The Father and News of the World ==

That IP user is at it again over at [[The Father (2020 film)]] and [[News of the World]]. - [[User:FilmandTVFan28|FilmandTVFan28]] ([[User talk:FilmandTVFan28|talk]]) 03:07, 20 October 2024 (UTC)

I'm afraid the IP user has done it again on those two pages. - [[User:FilmandTVFan28|FilmandTVFan28]] ([[User talk:FilmandTVFan28|talk]]) 05:56, 30 October 2024 (UTC)
: @[[User:FilmandTVFan28|FilmandTVFan28]] Blocked. -[[user:Lemonaka|‎&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue; text-shadow:jet 0 0.2em 0.2em; font-family:Segoe Print; font-size: 13px&quot;&gt;'''Lemonaka'''‎&lt;/span&gt;]] 13:13, 30 October 2024 (UTC)
::He recently commented on the respective talk pages about JH Movie Collection Wiki being a reliable source when it's not at all. I already politely declined his forced request. It's always upsetting when people poorly chose to be in denial. - [[User:FilmandTVFan28|FilmandTVFan28]] ([[User talk:FilmandTVFan28|talk]]) 19:07, 8 November 2024 (UTC)
== User:KiitosOttawa ==

What made you think this user was a problem? I looked through several of their edits (that you reverted) that added categories to people pages, and most seemed like legitimate categories to add. Just wondering. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 01:14, 29 November 2024 (UTC)
: This one is a block evasion, they've been here for a while with numerious of sockpuppets trying for evade their block. I didn't know whether revert all their edits may stop them and made them feel useless to create more account. That's not based on content, just abour reverting banned users' edit. If these edits are made by others, they will be welcomed -[[user:Lemonaka|‎&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue; text-shadow:jet 0 0.2em 0.2em; font-family:Segoe Print; font-size: 13px&quot;&gt;'''Lemonaka'''‎&lt;/span&gt;]] 13:18, 29 November 2024 (UTC)
: Not useful at all. -[[user:Lemonaka|‎&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue; text-shadow:jet 0 0.2em 0.2em; font-family:Segoe Print; font-size: 13px&quot;&gt;'''Lemonaka'''‎&lt;/span&gt;]] 08:53, 30 November 2024 (UTC)
== User:AghurmiFC ==

Hello. I do not know what Wikiquote considers to be spam, but User:AghurmiFC has been just disseminating the name of their football club all over Wikimedia projects without any other attempt to contribute. You may have also noticed that they were globally locked for that (so now they cannot contribute anyway, not even to Wikiquote) and that all other WMF projects deleted their spam user page. However, as I said, if your local rules enable it and you consider it useful to preserve this locked account's spam, it is up to you. -- [[User:Jan.Kamenicek|Jan.Kamenicek]] ([[User talk:Jan.Kamenicek|talk]]) 16:00, 25 January 2025 (UTC)
: I don't know why a name without any link can be considered as a spam, however, if you persist, I will delete for you. -[[user:Lemonaka|‎&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue; text-shadow:jet 0 0.2em 0.2em; font-family:Segoe Print; font-size: 13px&quot;&gt;'''Lemonaka'''‎&lt;/span&gt;]] 18:58, 25 January 2025 (UTC)
== Vandalism in process ==

[[Special:Contributions/195.155.9.168|User:195.155.9.168]] needs to be indefinitely blocked globally for adding false information in [[My Little Pony: Equestria Girls (film)]] and [[My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Rainbow Rocks]]. 10:53, 08 February 2025 (UTC)
: IP shall not be indefinitely blocked, thank you.  @[[User:Rainbow Rocks|Rainbow Rocks]] -[[user:Lemonaka|‎&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue; text-shadow:jet 0 0.2em 0.2em; font-family:Segoe Print; font-size: 13px&quot;&gt;'''Lemonaka'''‎&lt;/span&gt;]] 12:31, 8 February 2025 (UTC)
: @[[Special:Contributions/114.142.208.0|114.142.208.0]] -[[user:Lemonaka|‎&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue; text-shadow:jet 0 0.2em 0.2em; font-family:Segoe Print; font-size: 13px&quot;&gt;'''Lemonaka'''‎&lt;/span&gt;]] 12:32, 8 February 2025 (UTC)
== re ==

Hi can you protect [[The Thick of It]]? Thanks. [[User:Aqurs1|Aqurs1]] ([[User talk:Aqurs1|talk]]) 14:55, 28 February 2025 (UTC)
: done -[[user:Lemonaka|‎&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue; text-shadow:jet 0 0.2em 0.2em; font-family:Segoe Print; font-size: 13px&quot;&gt;'''Lemonaka'''‎&lt;/span&gt;]] 17:02, 28 February 2025 (UTC)
== Umm ==

[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=A.C._Cuza&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3624800&amp;unhide=1 I think you made a small mistake.] [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 15:22, 13 March 2025 (UTC)
: Sorry. -[[user:Lemonaka|‎&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue; text-shadow:jet 0 0.2em 0.2em; font-family:Segoe Print; font-size: 13px&quot;&gt;'''Lemonaka'''‎&lt;/span&gt;]] 15:28, 13 March 2025 (UTC)
== Belated Wiki Anniversary Wishes 🎉 ==

&lt;div style=&quot;border: 3px solid #f75920; background: #f8f9fa; padding: 15px; margin: 10px 0; font-size: 95%; line-height: 1.6em;&quot;&gt;
[[File:Rose and Carnation Flower Bouquet 02.png|150px|right|Happy Wiki Anniversary]]

Dear [[User:Lemonaka|Lemonaka]],

Your wiki anniversary was '''13 days''' ago, marking '''3 years''' (as per SUL) of dedicated service! I wanted to extend a heartfelt thanks for your amazing contributions. With over '''40,733''' edits, your dedication is an inspiration to the community. Wishing you all the best for the year ahead!

''Use this [https://suyashdwivedi.github.io/Wiki_Tools/Wiki_Anniversary.html '''Tool'''] to send wiki anniversary wishes to other amazing Wikimedians.''

-- [[User:Suyash.dwivedi|Suyash.dwivedi]] ([[User talk:Suyash.dwivedi|talk]]) 20:56, 27 October 2025 (UTC)
&lt;/div&gt;
== You may be an eligible candidate for the U4C election ==

&lt;div lang=&quot;en&quot; dir=&quot;ltr&quot; class=&quot;mw-content-ltr&quot;&gt;
Greetings,

The [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Universal_Code_of_Conduct/Coordinating_Committee|Universal Code of Conduct Coordinating Committee (U4C)]] seeks candidates for the 2026 election. The U4C is the global committee responsible for overseeing enforcement of the [[foundation:Special:MyLanguage/Policy:Universal Code of Conduct|Universal Code of Conduct]]. Elections are held annually, if elected a committee member serves for two years.

This year the U4C requires candidates to hold administrator rights on at least one wiki, which is why you are being contacted as you appear to hold this right. There are other requirements, such as candidates must be at least 18 years old and may not be employed by the Wikimedia Foundation or other related chapters and affiliates. You can find more information in the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Universal_Code_of_Conduct/Coordinating_Committee/Election/2026#Call_for_Candidates|call for candidates on Meta-wiki]]. Additionally, the committee's working language is English; some ability to communicate in English is required.

The election opens on 18 May, if you are eligible and interested you have until 10 May to submit your candidacy. There will week between for candidates to answer questions from the community. Voting takes place privately in [[m:Special:MyLanguage/SecurePoll|SecurePoll]], successful candidates must receive at least 60% support. More information is available on [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Universal_Code_of_Conduct/Coordinating_Committee/Election/2026|the 2026 Elections page]], including timelines and other candidacy information. If you read over the material and consider yourself qualified, please consider submitting your name to run for the committee. If you think someone else in your community might be interested and qualified, please encourage them to run.

In partnership with the U4C -- [[m:User:Keegan (WMF)|Keegan (WMF)]] ([[m:User_talk:Keegan (WMF)|talk]]) 18:32, 28 April 2026 (UTC) &lt;/div&gt;
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:Keegan (WMF)@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Keegan_(WMF)/test&amp;oldid=30471751 --&gt;</text>
      <sha1>0qr2oz2ekk7uxltduwdso3aprr144zz</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Kipper (TV Series)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>258254</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944018</id>
      <parentid>3859725</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T19:34:40Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944018</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="14868" sha1="7vkvwrmkc0baee3on53pt941lvh0l8m" xml:space="preserve">'''''[[w:Kipper (TV series)|Kipper the Dog &amp; Friends]]''''', otherwise known as simply '''''Kipper the Dog''''', '''''Kipper &amp; Friends''''' or '''''Kipper''''', is a British preschool animated children's television series based on the characters from [[w:Mick Inkpen|Mick Inkpen]]'s ''[[w:Kipper the Dog|Kipper the Dog]]'' picture book series on [[w:Fisher-Price|Fisher-Price]]. Seventy-eight episodes were produced. Out of these thirteen episodes - twelve of the first season, and the last of the third season, were written by Mick Inkpen himself and Grand Slamm Children's Films Production for on the [[w:HIT Entertainment|HIT Entertainment]] PLC.

==Summary==
The series follows Kipper the Dog as he goes on many fun and exciting adventures in a variety of places throughtout the English countryside with his friends, Tiger, Pig, Arnold, Jake and Mouse. 

==Cast==
Television Animation Cast

* Kipper the Dog - [[w:Martin Clunes|Martin Clunes]]
* Tiger the Dog, Little Pig, Arnold the Pig, Jake the Dog - [[w:Chris Lang|Chris Lang]]
* Little Mouse - [[w:Julia Sawalha|Julia Sawalha]]

==Seasons==
:[[Kipper#Season 1|Season 1]]
:[[Kipper#Season 2|Season 2]]
:[[Kipper#Season 3|Season 3]]
:[[Kipper#Season 4|Season 4]]
:[[Kipper#Season 5|Season 5]]
:[[Kipper#Season 6|Season 6]]


==Season 1==
===''The Visitor''===
:'''Kipper''': Oh, Good Morning! Look at Your Mess!
'''End Credits'''

* '''Directed by''' Mike Stuart
* '''Featuring''' Martin Clunes
* '''Edited and Mixed by''' Nigel Heath, Matthew Knight

===''The Umbrella''===
( ''phone clicks'' )

:'''Kipper''': ( ''clatter'' ) Something long. Ah, this'll do.

( ''cheerful music plays, wind blowing, instense music plays and playful music plays'' ) 

:'''Kipper''': Huh?

( ''birds fluttering'' )

:'''Kipper''': Whoa.

( ''Kipper panting'' )

:'''Kipper''': Ooh... Oof.

( ''thunder rumbling, rain spattering, Kipper mumbles angrily, water splahes, clangs and skateboard whirring'' )

:'''Kipper:''' Whoa! 

( ''Kipper moans, water running, crows cawing and airplane whirring'' )

:'''Kipper''': Huh?

( ''Kipper yelling'' )

:'''Tiger''': Ahoy! Kipper!
:'''Kipper''':

===''The Seaside''===
( ''waves lapping'' )

:'''Kipper''': Oh, no! The tide's coming in! That looks like our beach ball! ''And that looks like our duck!''  Oh, no!
:'''Tiger''': Hurray, Kipper!
:'''Kipper''': Hang on, Tiger! I'm coming to get you!

===''Nothing Ever Happens''===

===''Kipper and the Snowy Day''===
( ''soft music playing'' and ''bird chriping'' )

( ''clock ticking'' )

( ''window cracking'' )

( ''panting, snow sraping'' and ''splat'' )

( ''thud'' )

:'''Tiger''': You go first!
:'''Kipper''': Okay, then. Here goes! It's not working. The snow won't stick to me.
:'''Tiger''': Here. Try these. The snow sticks like glue.

( ''happily cheering'' )

:'''Tiger''': Yes!

( ''both laughing'' )

:'''Kipper''': ''Let's try it together, come on!'' Here, you have this. I'll wrap the scarf around my head,&lt;br&gt;and we'll have one glove each. Here, wrap that end around you. You ready? After three.
:'''Dogs''': One! Two! Three! ( ''both cheering'' and ''laughing'' )
( ''snowball slattering'' )
:'''Tiger''': Let's build a snowman.
:'''Kipper''': What about a snow dog?
:'''Tiger''': Yeah! A snow dog!

( ''playful music playing'' )

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Tiger''': It'll all be gone tomorrow. There's a warm wind coming.
:'''Kipper''': ( ''sighs'' ) I hope you're wrong. And for once, Tiger was wrong. That night, another snowstorm wiped out all of our footprints,&lt;br&gt;and the snow dog stood at the bottom of Big Hill for almost three...whole...weeks. 

( ''bird chirping'' )

'''End Credits'''

* '''Directed by:''' Mike Stuart
* '''Edited and Mixed by:''' Nigel Heath

===''The Paddling Pool''===
( ''whimsical music plays'' )

:'''Kipper''': Oh. Phew, it's hot today!

( ''yawns'' ) 

:'''Kipper''': Hmm. ( ''laughs'' )

:'''Kipper''': It's really hot! 

( ''slurping drink'' ) :'''Kipper''': Ah! 

:'''Kipper''': It's too hot, really. It's a padding pool kind of day. Yes! That's it. I'll get out my padding pool. 

( ''upbeat music continues'' ) :'''Kipper''': Ah, yes, there it is. 

( ''crashing'' )

( ''Kipper groans'' )

:'''Kipper''': Ow!

( ''air blowing'' )

( ''panting'' )

:'''Kipper''': Ah.

( ''grunts'' )

:'''Kipper''': Whoa! Phew!

( ''tap squeaks'' )

( ''water spraying'' )

:'''Kipper''': Ahhh! Got you! 

( ''ice cream truck music playing'' )

:'''Kipper''': Ice cream! 

'''Kipper''': Mmm... Doh!

( ''cruching'' ) :'''Kipper''': Hm!

( ''footprints splash'' )

( ''squishing'' )

:'''Kipper''': Oh, no! It must have a puncture. Yes, it's leaking! Oh, how am I gonna mend that? Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Aha! Perfect!

( ''slurps'' )

( ''water bubbing'' )

( ''slurping'' ) :'''Kipper''': Oh, no! The sun's gone in.

( ''tinkling on glass'' )

:'''Kipper''': Hailstones?

( ''glass clinking'' )

( ''air hissing'' )

( ''closing theme music begins playing'' )

===''Tiger's Torch''===
:'''Kipper''': Nothing. I think it came from somewhere near here.
:'''Tiger''': Ooh...

( ''owl screeching'' )

:'''Both''': Ahh!!!

:'''Both''': Ooh!!!

:'''Tiger''': What is it? What is it?

:'''Kipper''': Aw... Ooh!
:'''Tiger''': ( ''whimpering'' )

:'''Tiger''': Are we ready, then?
:'''Kipper''': Yep.

:'''Tiger''': Deep in the middle of the dark, dark wood there lived a horrible, horrendous, terrible, tremendous--

( ''music plays'' )

===''The Butterfly''===
:'''Kipper''': Can't stop, see you later! ( ''toy squeaks'' )

( ''no audio'' )

Colours

&lt;span style=color:red&gt;Red&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span style=color:yellow&gt;Yellow&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span style=color:orange&gt;Orange&lt;/span&gt;

&lt;span style=color:blue&gt;Blue&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span style=color:yellow&gt;Yellow&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span style=color:green&gt;Green&lt;/span&gt;

&lt;span style=color:red&gt;Red&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span style=color:blue&gt;Blue&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span style=color:purple&gt;Purple&lt;/span&gt;

( ''closing theme music playing'' )

==Season 2==
===''The Magic Lamp''===
:'''Tiger''': ''I dunno.''

( ''wind howling'' )

:'''Kipper''': Oh, yes, so, I did!

( ''closing theme music playing'' )

===''The Goldfish''===
( ''stick tapping'' )

( ''sighs'' )

:'''Kipper''': Oh, no. ( ''panting'' ) Whoo, whoo, whoo. Stop jumping! Tiger! Let me in!

( ''water splashing'' and ''water swooshing'' )

( ''closing theme music playing'' )

===''Sleepless Night''===
'''Written by''': Matthew Westwood&lt;br&gt;Based on the books by Mick Inkpen

:'''Kipper''': Stop it! (4x)

( ''yawns'' )

:'''Kipper''': I'm ''so'' [[tired]].

( ''yawns'' and ''snores'' )

( ''closing theme music playing'' )

===''Hiccups''===
( ''hiccups and evil [[glass]] water cup [[whirlpool]] crashing'' )
:'''Kipper''': Oh, no, please, hic, go away! I've tried hic everything!

:'''Kipper''': I hold my breath and count to 100. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten,

( ''doorbell rings'' ) 

:'''Kipper''': Hic! Hic!
:'''Tiger''': One, two, three.

( ''drums, horns, noisemarkes all at once'' ) 

( ''balloon popping'' )

:'''Tiger''': ''Quiet, everyone!''
:'''Kipper''': Well, I don't think it's very funny.
:'''Tiger''': ( ''laughs'' )

===''Kipper Is Unwell''===
:'''Kipper''': I want to paint something red. A rocket.

===''Kipper's Circus''===
:'''Kipper''': Watch this, Tiger. Yes! I can walk the tightrope.

===''The Gismo''===
:'''Kipper''': Ready, Tiger.

'''End Credits'''

* :'''Director''': Mike Stuart
* :'''Edited and Mixed by''': Nigel Heath

===''The Camping Trip''===
:'''Kipper''': Hello, Rabbit. Want one.
:'''Tiger''': Uh, did you bring a tin opener?
:'''Kipper''': No, I'm sorry!
:''(Tiger smells something burning and notices the hot dogs are burning.)
:'''Tiger''': Oh! Oh, no! No, no! ( ''unison in the voice tower hill'' )

:''(Kipper is NOT eat right now! It is now nighttime, and one of the rabbit is bounce, slide and roll his arms the tent all the way home.)

:'''Kipper''': Just look at that. Thousands of stars.
:'''Tiger''': ''Hmm...millions!''
:'''Kipper''': ''Billions!''
:'''Tiger''': ''Trillions!''
:'''Kipper''': ''Zillions!''
:'''Tiger''': ''Quillions!''
:'''Kipper''': ''There's no such thing a quillons.''

:'''Kipper''': I don't think so. ''I think, it's a cloud. A big, black, cloud.''
:'''Tiger''': Oh, hey!
:'''Kipper''': I think, we better go inside. Bye, Rabbit.
:''(Kipper and Tiger look outside from the tent door.)
:'''Tiger''': This is fun!

( ''Tiger and Kipper grunting'' )

:''(Lighting and thunder strikes which scares the two dogs, the two.

( ''wind blows'' )

:'''Kipper''': Oof! We are get out of the rain!
:'''Tiger''': Where?
:'''Kipper''': You go that way.

:'''Tiger''': Oof! Be careful!
:'''Kipper''': I wonder if it's still raining outside?
:'''Tiger''': I don't know. ( ''yawns'' )

:''(The group goes to sleep and the episode is ends.)

===''The Nest''===
:'''Tiger''': Pull!
:'''Kipper''': Oh! I can't!
:'''Tiger''': Ow!

( ''loud crash sound'' )

:'''Tiger''': I can see my house.
:'''Kipper''': Oh, look. It's brought us a worm!
:'''Tiger''': ''What for?''
:'''Both''': Oh, yuck!

( ''closing instrumental theme music begins playing'' )

===''The Magnifying Glass''===

( ''grass rusting'' )

:'''Kipper''': Hmm, this is cozy. Hm. Come on, don't be shy.

===''The Gismo''===
:'''Kipper''': Shall I go to the park? Maybe.

( ''gasps'' )

( ''sighs'' )

( ''sputters and giggles'' )

:'''Kipper''': Shall I ride my bike? Maybe.

( ''bubbles popping'' )

( ''mumbles'' )

( ''horn toots'' )

( ''handle creaking and blower whirring'' )

( ''bouncy jazz music playing'' )

( ''blower sputters'' )

( ''lively music playing'' )

( ''doorbell ringing'' )

:'''Kipper''': Ready, Tiger?

( ''frog croaks and closing theme music begins playing'' )

===''Kipper's Circus''===
( ''dramatic voclizing'' )

:''Tiger''': Kipper, the daring world famous trapeze artist!
:'''Kipper''': Catch my paws, Tiger. Hook your feet up over your arms.

:'''Kipper''': Watch this, Tiger! Yes! I can walk the tightrope.

( ''laughing'' )

( ''final closing theme music begins playing in Season 2, Episode 13 on Nick Jr. Home Entertainment Group'' )

'''End Credits'''
* Director by: ''Mike Stuart''
* Edited and Mixed by: '''Nigel Heath'''

==Season 3==
===''The Lost Mug''===

'''End Credits'''

* :'''Director by''': Mike Stuart
* :'''Background by''': Penelope Wilson
* :'''Layton by''': Sue Butterworth
* :'''Edited and Mixed by''': Nigel Heath

===''The Rescue''===
:'''Kipper''': I've '''got'''...

( ''gasps'' )

:'''Tiger''': The tide's coming in.

( ''bird squawking'' )

:'''Kipper''': No! We're ''not'', Tiger.

( ''seagulls cawing'' )

===''The Treasure Hunt''===
HIT Video

( ''coins clinking lightly'' )

:'''Kipper''': Eight, ( ''coin clinks'' ) nine, 10.

( ''ratting coins'' )

( ''beeping'' )

:'''Pig''': Thanks, Tiger. Come on, Arnold, we'd better be going. 

( ''music playing'' )

:'''Pig''': ''Keep up, Arnold!''

( ''closing theme music begins playing'' )

===''The Picnic''===
:'''Kipper''': Ouch!

( '' apple thuds'' )

===''Tiger's Sled''===
( ''snores'' ) 

( ''sighs'' ) 

( ''yawning'' )

:'''Kipper''': Oh, no! It's hasn't snowed it was supposed to snow. Come on, clouds, snow. Please, snow!

( ''instrumental music playing'' )

( ''toy squeaks'' )

:'''Kipper''': Hooray, it's snowing!

( ''door bell ringing'' )

( ''yelling'' )

( ''slide squeaks'' )
:'''Kipper''': Tiger, Are You Okay?
:'''Tiger''': Yes! Yes! I'm Fine! Oh No! it's Ruined!

( ''cheering'' )

===''Christmas Eve''===
( ''grunts'' )

( ''snoring and gentle music playing'' )

( ''closing theme music begins playing'' )

===End===

===''The Magic Act''===
( ''applud'' )

===''The Long Walk''===
( ''wind blowing'' )

( ''Tiger speaks indistinclty'' )

( ''wind howling'' )

( ''bull snorts'' )

( ''bull roars'' )

( ''high energy music playing'' )

( ''Kipper panting'' )

( ''Kipper and Tiger yelling'' )

( ''bouncy music playing'' )

( '' final closing theme music begins playing in Season 3 in the windmill at once'' )

==Season 4==

===''The Mouse''===
:'''Kipper''': (Snores) Ooh! (Yawns) What a Mess! 
(Squeaks)
:'''Kipper''': Morning, Hippo!
:'''Kipper''': (Yawns) Sleepy Time! Good Night, Mouse!
:'''Mouse''': ( sighs ) ''Good Night Kipper!

( ''music playing'' )

===''The Big Freeze''===
:'''Kipper''': You Have To Wait Till Tomorrow! Will Bring Some More Then Bye! (Yawning) What's Going on? (yawns again) That Sounds Like Ducks!

===''Big Owl's Bath''===
( ''water rushing'' )

( ''doorbell rings'' )

:'''Kipper''': Coming!

( ''snaps'' )

:'''Kipper''': Oh, no! Sock Thing!
:'''Tiger''': And Mr. Snake.
:'''Kipper''': Do you see slipper, Tiger?
:'''Tiger''': Quick! He's going to fall in the mud!

:'''Kipper''': Oh, yuck! Tiger, the blanket is gone!
:'''Tiger''': Wow! Look it Goes! Oh, no!
:'''Both''': The pond!

( ''blanket flipping'' )

==Season 5==
===''Hide and Seek (2000)''===
:'''Kipper''': Where are you? Whoa! Ouch!

( ''vase shakes'' )

:'''Kipper''': Oh, no! Help!

===''Hedgehog Watch (2000)''===
:'''Tiger''': Hegehog watch, very successful. no
:'''Kipper''': Tiger, have you been eating my donut?!?!

===End Credits===

===''Tiger's Joke Box (2000)''===
:'''Kipper''': Whaa!

( ''chair crashing'' )

:'''Tiger''': ''Hello, Arnold!''

( ''gasps and joke box closes'' )

:'''Tiger''': Oh, no! Help!

( ''white water hose fasting and no audio'' )

===''Cousins''===
:'''Kipper''': (Gasps) Oh, It's Too Early, Mouse! Go Back To Bed! What? What? Mouse! (Yawns) Mmm! Mmm!
:'''Mouse Cousins''': (Giggles)
:'''Mouse''': Morning, Kipper! You're Up Early!
:'''Kipper''': Oh, no! Mouse, Mouse! ''Look at this mess!''
:'''Mouse''': Look at me!
:'''Kipper''': Now, stop it! Do you think you could play on the floor? (Snores) Ahh! What? What? Which One Are You?

==Season 6==
===''The Magic Carpet''===
:'''Kipper''': (Yawns) Night Night, Toys! See You in the Morning! (Yawns again) Ooh! Bye Bye Then! Goodbye!

===''The Farm''===
( ''music playing and birds tweeting'' )

:'''Tiger''': Cock-a-doodle-doo!

( ''clucking'' )
:'''Tiger''': Cock-a-Doodle-doo! Cock-a-Doodle-doo!
(Kipper yawns)
:'''Tiger''': Cock-a-Doodle-doo! Cock-a-Doodle-Doo! Kipper!

:'''Arnold''': Duck!

===''Kipper the Hero''===
:'''Tiger''': I got one! I finally got one!
:'''Kipper''': ''Don't worry, Tiger! I'm on my way!''
:'''Tiger''': My first fish. It was my first fish.
:'''Kipper''': I'm sorry, Tiger.

===''The River Trip''===
:'''Jake''': I won't be a minute.

==See Also==
[[Oswald (TV Series)]]

[[Category:TV cleanup]]
[[Category:UK children's animated TV shows]]
[[Category:1990s UK animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2000s UK animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Nick Jr. shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about dogs]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about pigs]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about mice and rats]]
[[Category:UK TV shows based on children's books]]
[[Category:UK children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:UK preschool education TV shows]]</text>
      <sha1>7vkvwrmkc0baee3on53pt941lvh0l8m</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Hiratsuka Raichō</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>260634</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943927</id>
      <parentid>3907348</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:51:58Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>−[[Category:Women from Japan]]; ±[[Category:Women authors]]→[[Category:Women authors from Japan]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <origin>3943927</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="2325" sha1="0pqmdiwnq9228w65vyst6oouv1r549u" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Raicho Hiratsuka.jpg|thumb|{{w|Hiratsuka Raichō}}]]
'''{{w|Hiratsuka Raichō}}''' (平塚 らいちょう, transliterated らいてう according to the {{w|historical kana orthography}}; born '''Hiratsuka Haru''', 平塚 明; February 10, 1886 – May 24, 1971) was a Japanese [[writer]], [[journalist]], {{w|political activist}}, [[anarchist]], and pioneering [[w:Feminism in Japan|feminist in Japan]].

{{Activist-stub}}
{{Author-stub}}
==Quotes==

* [[Passion]]! Passion! We live by this and nothing else. Passion is the [[power]] of [[prayer]]. The power of [[Will (philosophy)|will]]. The power of {{w|Zen}} [[w:Dhyana in Buddhism|meditation]]. The power of the way of the [[w:Buddhist deities|gods]]. Passion, in other words, is the power of spiritual concentration. And spiritual concentration is the one and only gateway to the realm of [[mystery]] and [[wonder]].
** ''In The Beginning Woman Was The Sun'' (『元始、女性は太陽であった』, ''Genshi, josei wa taiyō de atta''), first published 1971-1973; translated by Teruko Craig in {{cite book |title=In the Beginning, Woman was the Sun: The Autobiography of a Japanese Feminist |date=2010 |publisher=Columbia University Press |isbn=978-0-231-13813-0 |page=157 |url=https://www.google.com/books/edition/In_the_Beginning_Woman_was_the_Sun/h4O-AwAAQBAJ?hl=en-419&amp;gbpv=1&amp;pg=PA157}}

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
* [http://www.distinguishedwomen.com/biographies/hiratsuka.html Raicho Hiratsuka]
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20070309142929/http://www.shinfujin.gr.jp/eng/1_what/index.html New Japan Women's Association]
* [https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&amp;as_sdt=0%2C5&amp;q=Hiratsuka+Raichō&amp;btnG= Hiratsuka Raichō] at {{w|Google Scholar}}
* [https://www.researchgate.net/search?q=Hiratsuka+Raich%C5%8D Hiratsuka Raichō] at {{w|ResearchGate}}
* [https://www.jstor.org/action/doBasicSearch?Query=%22Hiratsuka+Raich%C5%8D%22 Hiratsuka Raichō] at {{w|JSTOR}}

{{Authority control}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Hiratsuka, Raichō}}
[[Category:1886 births]]
[[Category:1971 deaths]]
[[Category:Translators from Japan]]
[[Category:Anarcha-feminists]]
[[Category:Anarcho-pacifists]]
[[Category:Anarchists from Japan]]
[[Category:Women authors from Japan]]
[[Category:Authors from Japan]]
[[Category:People from Tokyo]]
[[Category:Women born in the 1880s]]</text>
      <sha1>0pqmdiwnq9228w65vyst6oouv1r549u</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>261113</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943895</id>
      <parentid>3928413</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:28:25Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30410-75</username>
        <id>3325553</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943895</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="6286" sha1="2xrnnckzf25sm4ep9vzzdshxhy2hu4b" xml:space="preserve">----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Adventure Time (season 1)|1]] [[Adventure Time (season 2)|2]] [[Adventure Time (season 3)|3]] [[Adventure Time (season 4)|4]] [[Adventure Time (season 5)|5]] [[Adventure Time (season 6)|6]] [[Adventure Time (season 7)|7]] [[Adventure Time (season 8)|8]] [[Adventure Time (season 9)|9]] [[Adventure Time (season 10)|10]] | [[Adventure Time: Distant Lands|Distant Lands]] | [[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake|Fionna and Cake]] | [[Adventure Time: Side Quests|Side Quests]] | [[Adventure Time|Main]]
----
{{italic title}}
'''''{{w|Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake}}''''' (2023-present) is an adult animated streaming series produced by [[w:Cartoon Network Studios|Cartoon Network Studios]] and [[w:Frederator Studios|Frederator Studios]] and a spin-off of the Cartoon Network television series ''[[Adventure Time]]''.

{{tv-stub}}

==Season 1==
===''Fionna Campbell''===
:'''Marshall Lee''': Hey, so what. That's your prison uniform.
:'''Fionna''': No way I get that deposit back now.
:'''Marshall Lee''': Wait, did you quit your job? That's a power move. ''[eats one of Gary's prototype biscuits]'' Whoa. These are, like, really good. Where are these from?
:'''Fionna''': I didn't quit. I got fired. 
:'''Marshall Lee''': Wah, wah.
:'''Fionna''': Oh! Marshall, could you let your mom know my rent is gonna be late this month?
:'''Marshall Lee''': Uhhh, me and her aren't really... talking right now.
:'''Fionna''': What?! But I can barely afford the vet! 
:'''Marshall Lee''': Nope! Not gonna do it.
:'''Fionna''': Marshall!
:''[Cake meows]''
:'''Marshall Lee''': But you know what though? Vets are like a total scam. My buddy Ellis can fix her up and he'd only charge you like ''[holds the bag]'' a couple of these.
:'''Fionna''': Sounds kinda shady.
:'''Marshall Lee''': Nooo. He's... he's... He's super legit.
:''[Cake meows again]''
:'''Fionna''': Okay. What's his address?

===''Simon Petrikov''===
:'''Simon''': Sometimes, I used to dress up like Ice King, after I became me again. I guess I... missed being him, in a way. Things felt simpler, in a way, I... I was too out-of-it to understand how screwed up my life was. Eh, but even that stopped working after a while.
:'''Finn''': Have you talked to Marcy about any of this?
:'''Simon''': Nah, I... I didn't wanna freak her out.
:'''Finn''': Well, hey! There's always tomorrow, right?
:'''Simon''': You don't understand; it's all the same for me! Every day is just an unending slog towards... towards... what?

===''Cake the Cat''===
{{Section-stub}}

===''Prismo the Wishmaster''===
{{Section-stub}}

===''Destiny''===
{{Section-stub}}

===''The Winter King''===
{{Section-stub}}

===''The Star''===
{{Section-stub}}

===''Jerry''===
:'''Simon''': BMO chose to make the ultimate sacrifice for people he barely knew. It didn't work, but that made it no less noble. Farewell, you little miracle.

===''Casper and Nova''===
:'''Jerry''': Great Embodiment of Chaos... Hear me! For ages untold, I studied your ways, devoting my existence to you. I strove to be your vassal on the physical plane! To build mountains of bodies in your honor! To extinguish all life! And in my universe, this I achieved! But it gave me no satisfaction. In succeeding, I lost all purpose.
:'''Simon''': I know what you me--
:'''Jerry''': Why?! Why must this be?! Hear me, Golb!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Simon''': Betty? Are you in there, even a little? I finally get to you when I'm not even trying... I... I've wanted to see you again for so long...
:'''Jerry''': No, no, no! ''Answer me!'' What more could I have done?! What do you want from me now?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Simon''': But wait. This... isn't how it happened.
:'''Betty''': No. We made our choices. We could've made better ones, but... I don't have any regrets. You were a wonderful experience!
:'''Simon''': You were... everything.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Scarab''': I'm a professional. And professionals don't hold grudges.

===''Cheers''===
:'''Marshall Lee''': I'll stop him! With music.
:'''Gary''': Your song about tumbleweeds?
:'''Marshall Lee''': No! A new, heartfelt song inspired by our love!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fionna''': If we die, we'll die together. As ourselves.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fionna''': Cake!
:'''Cake''': What?
:'''Fionna''': This is my top fantasy!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Scarab''': You think you've ''won'' something? Ha! You were living in this fake bubble where nothing happens, but now you get all the bad stuff, too! Your worlds to screw up!
:'''Cake''': That just sounds like we're real to me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Prismo''': Maybe you can even grant a wish in a couple hundred years! But you gotta pay your dues first.
:'''Scarab''': Only people who never pay their dues say that...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Simon''': I'm feeling like this whole experience with Fionna and Cake helped me realize that my life is worthwhile. I'm worried I'll forget that.
:'''Minerva''': This will be a cycle of learning and forgetting and relearning and forgetting again...

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Fionna''': Huh. Just a normal world...

==Season 2==
===''The Hare and the Sprout''===
{{Section-stub}}

===''The Crocodile Who Bit a Log''===
{{Section-stub}}

===''The Lion of Embers''===
{{Section-stub}}

===''The Cat Who Tipped the Box''===
{{Section-stub}}

===''The Butterfly and the River''===
{{Section-stub}}

===''The Bird in the Clock''===
{{Section-stub}}

===''The Wolves Who Wandered''===
{{Section-stub}}

===''The Insect That Sang''===
{{Section-stub}}

===''The Worm and His Orchard''===
{{Section-stub}}

===''The Bear and the Rose''===
{{Section-stub}}

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Authority control}}
[[Category:Max shows]]
[[Category:HBO Max shows]]
[[Category:2020s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Traditionally adult animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American adult animated TV spin-offs]]
[[Category:American adult animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American adult animated action TV shows]]
[[Category:American adult animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American adult animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Television series by Cartoon Network Studios]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows about cats]]
[[Category:Adventure Time]]
[[Category:Current shows]]</text>
      <sha1>2xrnnckzf25sm4ep9vzzdshxhy2hu4b</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Anarchist communism</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>261353</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944105</id>
      <parentid>3364355</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T01:22:33Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30769-75</username>
        <id>3326883</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Fixed typo</comment>
      <origin>3944105</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="6154" sha1="edjdubfhxywxm94jkj713df5zvxgsls" xml:space="preserve">'''{{w|Anarchist communism}}''', also known as '''anarcho-communism''', '''communist anarchism''', or '''libertarian communism''', is a [[political philosophy]] and {{w|anarchist school of thought}} that advocates [[communism]]. It calls for the abolition of [[private property]] but retention of [[personal property]] and [[w:Collective ownership|collectively-owned]] items, goods, and services. It supports [[w:common ownership|social ownership]] of property and the distribution of resources &quot;{{w|From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs}}&quot;.

==Quotes==

* Though there are several different “schools” of [[Anarchist]] thought, revolutionary Anarchist or Anarchist-Communism is based upon the [[class struggle]], but it does not take a mechanist view of the class struggle taken by the [[Marxist-Leninists]]. For instance, it does not take the view that only the industrial [[proletariat]] can achieve [[Socialism]], and that the victory of this class, led by a “communist working class party” represent the final victory over [[Capitalism]]. Nor do we accept the idea of a &quot;[[w:Socialist state|worker’s state]].&quot; Anarchists believe that only the peasants, workers and farmers can liberate themselves and that they should manage industrial and economic production through {{w|workers' council}}, {{w|factory committees}}, and [[w:Agricultural cooperative|farm cooperatives]], rather than with the interference of a patty or government.
** [[Lorenzo Kom'boa Ervin]], ''[https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/lorenzo-kom-boa-ervin-anarchism-and-the-black-revolution Anarchism and the Black Revolution]'' (1993)

* Since the 1870s the principles of Anarchist-Communism have been accepted by most Anarchist organizations favoring revolution. This Anarchist or Libertarian Communism must, of course, not be confused with much better known communism of the Marxist-Leninists, the communism which is based on state ownership of the economy and control of the both production and distribution, and also on party [[dictatorship]]. That form of [[authoritarian]] communist society is based on oppression and slavery to the state, while we favor a free, voluntary communism of shared resources. Libertarian Communism is not [[Bolshevism]] and has no connection with or support for [[Lenin]], Stalin, [[Trotsky]] or [[Mao Tse Tung]]. It is not state or private control over the essentials of life we seek, and we oppose all forms of dictatorship. Anarchist communists seek to foster the growth of a new society in which freedom to develop as one see t is integrated to the fullest extent with social responsibility to others.
** [[Lorenzo Kom'boa Ervin]], ''[https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/lorenzo-kom-boa-ervin-anarchism-and-the-black-revolution Anarchism and the Black Revolution]'' (1993)

* Anarchist-Communism is based on a conception of society that harmoniously unites individual self-interest and social well-being. Although Anarchist-Communists agree with [[Marx]] and many Marxist-Leninists that Capitalism must be abolished because of its crisis-ridden nature (here we reject the false term “{{w|anarchy of production}}”) and its exploitation of the [[working class]], they do not believe Capitalism is an indispensable, progressive precondition for the transition to a socially beneficial economy. Nor do they believe that the centralized [[Planned economy|economic planning]] of State Socialism can provide for the wide diversity of needs or desires. They reject the very idea of the need for a State or that it will just “wither away” of its own accord; or a party to “boss over” the workers or “stage manage” the revolution. In short, while accepting tenets of his economic [[w:Criticism of capitalism|critique of Capitalism]], they do not worship Karl Marx as an infallible leader whose ideas can never be critiqued or revised, as the Marxist-Leninists do; and Anarchist-Communism is not based on {{w|Marxist theory}}.
** [[Lorenzo Kom'boa Ervin]], ''[https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/lorenzo-kom-boa-ervin-anarchism-and-the-black-revolution Anarchism and the Black Revolution]'' (1993)

* Anarchist-Communists recognize that people are capable of determining their own needs and of making the necessary arrangements to satisfy those needs, provided that they have free access to social resources. It is always a political decision whether those resources are to be freely provided to all, so Anarchist-Communists believe in the credo of “from each according to (their) means, to each according to their needs.” This assures that all will be fed, clothed, and housed as normal social practice, not as demeaning welfare or that certain classes will be better provided for than others.
** [[Lorenzo Kom'boa Ervin]], ''[https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/lorenzo-kom-boa-ervin-anarchism-and-the-black-revolution Anarchism and the Black Revolution]'' (1993)

* The existence of the [[State]] and a [[ruling classes]], based on the exploitation and oppression of the working class am inseparable. [[Domination]] and exploitation go hand-in-hand and in fact this oppression is not possible without force and violent [[authority]]. This is why Anarchist-Communists argue that any attempt to use State power as a means of establishing a free, [[egalitarian]] society can only be self-defeating, because the habits of commanding and exploiting become ends in themselves.
** [[Lorenzo Kom'boa Ervin]], ''[https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/lorenzo-kom-boa-ervin-anarchism-and-the-black-revolution Anarchism and the Black Revolution]'' (1993)

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
* [http://www.anarkismo.net/ Anarkismo.net] – anarchist communist news maintained by platformist organizations with discussion and theory from across the globe
* [https://theanarchistlibrary.org/category/topic/anarcho-communism Anarchocommunism texts at The Anarchist Library]
* [http://vimeo.com/30571222 Kropotkin: The Coming Revolution] – short documentary to introduce the idea of anarcho-communism in Peter Kropotkin's own words


{{authority control}}

[[Category:Anarcho-communism| ]]</text>
      <sha1>edjdubfhxywxm94jkj713df5zvxgsls</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Syrian civil war</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>263225</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943865</id>
      <parentid>3478641</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:11:11Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30311-56</username>
        <id>3326411</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Reworded the description and added the last bit of information where the SCW has already ended</comment>
      <origin>3943865</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="41855" sha1="5jwuvk33hkdjl9zze9ej90sji9pf1x8" xml:space="preserve">The '''{{w|Syrian civil war}}''' (Arabic: ٱلْحَرْبُ ٱلْأَهْلِيَّةُ ٱلسُّورِيَّةُ, ''al-ḥarb al-ʾahlīyah al-sūrīyah'') was an ongoing multi-sided conflict in [[Syria]] involving various state-sponsored and non-state actors. In March 2011, popular discontent with the rule of [[Bashar al-Assad]] triggered large-scale protests and pro-democracy rallies across Syria, as part of the wider [[Arab Spring]] protests in the region. After months of crackdown by governments security apparatus, various armed rebel groups such as the Free Syrian Army began forming across the country, marking the beginning of the Syrian insurgency. By mid-2012, the crisis had escalated into a full-blown civil war.

By 2013, rebels had captured large parts of the country, including the provincial capitals of Raqqa and Idlib. The rebels were indirectly supported by the [[United States]], [[Turkey]], [[NATO]], [[Qatar]], [[Egypt]], [[Israel]], and [[Saudi Arabia]]. The Syrian government was supported by [[Iran]], [[Hezbollah]], and [[Russia]]. In 2014, the [[Islamic State]] captured large parts of eastern Syria and western [[Iraq]], leading to a United States-led international intervention against the Islamic State. The coalition also provided ground support to the [[w:Kurds|Kurdish]]-majority [[w:Syrian_Democratic_Forces|Syrian Democratic Forces]]. Russia directly intervened in 2015, and Turkey intervened in 2016. The Islamic State lost most of its territory by 2017, and the Syrian government recaptured most rebel strongholds by the end of 2018 with the support of Hezbollah, the [[Russian Armed Forces]], and the [[Armed Forces of the Islamic Republic of Iran]]. A 2020 ceasefire ended major large-scale combat, but small-scale skirmishes still continue. 

After a [[w:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2024_Syrian_opposition_offensives|quick offensive]] by rebel forces led by [[w:Hay'at Tahrir al-Sham|Hay'at Tahrir al-Sham]] on late November 2024 and the [[w:Fall of Damascus (2024)|fall of Damascus]] to the [[w:Southern Operations Room|Southern Operations Room]] on early December of the same year, the civil war in Syria has ended.

== Quotes ==
{{TOCalpha}}
===A===
*I moved many times in Syria starting from March 2011 until December 2012 when I left. The last six months were very difficult to live under the [[bombs]] all the time. At that time, we would hear three sounds. The first was the sound of the shell when it was launched. The second was the sound of the shell above us in the sky. The third sound was the sound the of the explosion on the ground, or in a building. I was drawing all the time, but when I heard that first sound, I would lift my pencil and wait, thinking: ‘maybe this is my last drawing’. If I heard the third sound, that meant I was still alive. I’m lucky because I always heard all three sounds, but many thousands of Syrian people around me never heard the third sound.
**[[Hani Abbas]] [https://www.unhcr.org/en-us/news/stories/2021/11/6183b7be4/meet-syrian-cartoonist-behind-unhcrs-first-ever-nft-fundraiser.html Interview] with UNHCR (2021)

*I am dreaming every day about going back to Syria … but I will never return before that criminal regime is toppled.
**[[Hani Abbas]]  [https://www.al-monitor.com/originals/2022/01/syrian-activists-tell-stories-displacement-over-lost-decade Interview] (2022)

* Syria is a melting pot. It existed like this, like it is today because it is a melting pot with multifarious cultures for centuries, before [[Christianity]] and after Christianity, before [[Islam]] and after Islam. If you have any change, dramatic change, in the demographic and social fabric of the Syrian society, you're going to have a big problem in the future regarding the future of Syria.
** President [[Bashar al-Assad]], ''The Syria Times'', [http://syriatimes.sy/index.php/interviews/8482-president-al-assad-to-rai-news-24-i-will-take-my-country-to-the-shore-not-to-abandon-the-ship-and-the-syrian-people &quot;President Al-Assad to Rai News 24: I will take my country to the shore –not to abandon the ship and the Syrian people&quot;] (29 September 2013).

* We are not against cooperation of any country, we will never be, we didn't started this conflict for the others. (but) they started, they supported the [[Terrorism|terrorists]], they give them the umbrella. '''It's not about isolating Syria now, it's about embargo on the Syrian population, on the Syrian citizens. It's different from isolation''', it's completely different...
** [[Bashar al-Assad]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiC4w7Erz8I Interview with Jeremy Bowen] (9 February 2015) on &quot;Syria conflict: BBC exclusive interview with President Bashar al-Assad&quot;

*The most important thing: if you take these [[Photography|photos]] to any court in your country, could they convict any criminal regarding this? Could they tell you what this [[crime]] is, who committed it? If you don’t have this full picture, you cannot make judgement, it’s just [[propaganda]], it’s just fake news, they want to demonize the Syrian government. In every war, you can have any individual crime, it happened here, all over the world, anywhere, but it’s not a policy[.....]That’s an important example about the armament, it’s not about what bomb do you use, whether you call it barrel or any other name; it’s not about that. It’s about the way you use and your intentions. That’s why the state of the art drones with their missiles, the American ones, killed much more civilians than [[Terrorism|terrorists]]. So, it’s not about the drone, it’s not about the armaments; it’s about your intentions. In our case in Syria, of course we have to avoid the civilians, not only because they are our people and this is a moral issue; it’s actually because it’s going to play into the hands of the terrorists. If we kill the civilians intentionally, it means we are helping the terrorists. So, why would we do it, why we are defending the civilians and killing the civilians? It doesn’t work; this is contradiction. If we are killing the civilians, who are we defending in Syria? Against who and for who?
**[[Bashar al-Assad]], ''Interview with Yahoo News'', (2017)

*The [[Economic sanctions|sanctions]] on the Syrian people that made the situation much worse and this is another reason for the [[European migrant crisis|refugees that you have in Europe]] now. '''How do you don't want [[Refugee|refugees]] at the same time you created all the situation or the atmosphere that will tell them: 'Go outside Syria, somewhere else' ''' ? and of course they'll go to [[Europe]]...
**[[Bashar al-Assad]], ''Interview with RAI News'', (December 2019)

*The [[Government|governments]] of certain countries have denied us our right, under [[international law]], and our national duty to combat [[terrorism]] and protect our people on our land and within our own borders. At the same time, these governments formed an illegitimate international coalition, led by the [[United States]], on the pretext of combating terrorism in Syria. The so-called international coalition has done everything but fight terrorism. It has even become clear that the coalition's goals were in perfect alignment with those of terrorist groups; sowing chaos, death and destruction in their path. The coalition destroyed the Syrian city of [[w:Raqqa|Raqqa]] completely; it destroyed infrastructure and public services in the areas it targeted; it committed massacres against civilians, including children and women, which amount to war crimes under international law. The coalition has also provided direct military support to terrorists, on multiple occasions, as they fought against the [[w:Syrian army|Syrian army]]. It should have been more aptly named 'The Coalition to Support Terrorists and War Crimes'.

*The situation in Syria cannot be divorced from the battle raging between two camps on the world stage: one of the camps promotes [[peace]], stability, and [[prosperity]] across the world, advocates dialogue and mutual understanding, respects [[international law]], and upholds the principle of non-interference in the internal affairs of other states. The other camp tries to create chaos in [[international relations]] and employs [[Colonialism|colonization]] and [[hegemony]] as tools to further its narrow interests, even if that meant resorting to [[Corruption|corrupt]] methods, such as supporting terrorism and imposing an [[w:Economic_blockade|economic blockade]], to subjugate people and [[Government|governments]] that reject external dictates and insist on making their own decisions.
**Walid Al-Moualem [https://gadebate.un.org/sites/default/files/gastatements/73/sy_en.pdf  Excerpt of ''Syria's Deputy Prime Minister of Foreign Affairs, Speech to the United Nations General Assembly''] (29 September 2018)

*What happened in Syria should have been a lesson to some countries but those countries refuse to learn. Instead, they choose to bury their head in the sand. This is why ladies and gentlemen we, the members of this organization, must make a clear and unequivocal choice: are we going to defend [[international law]] and the [[Charter of the United Nations|UN charter]] and be on the side of [[justice]]? Or are we going to submit to hegemonic tendencies and the law of the jungle that some are trying to impose on this organization and the world?
**Walid Al-Moualem [https://gadebate.un.org/sites/default/files/gastatements/73/sy_en.pdf  Excerpt of ''Syria's Deputy Prime Minister of Foreign Affairs, Speech to the United Nations General Assembly''] (29 September 2018)

*Today, the situation on the ground is more stable and secure thanks...to the help of [[Russia]]...
**Walid Al-Moualem [https://gadebate.un.org/sites/default/files/gastatements/73/sy_en.pdf  Excerpt of ''Syria's Deputy Prime Minister of Foreign Affairs, Speech to the United Nations General Assembly''] (29 September 2018)

===B===

* Allow me to break down the facts of [[hunger]] as they stand right now. 811 million people are chronically hungry. 283 million are in hunger crises — they are marching toward [[starvation]]. And within that, 45 million in 43 countries across the globe are in hunger emergencies — in other words, [[famine]] is knocking on their door. Places like [[Afghanistan]]. [[Madagascar (country)|Madagascar]]. [[Myanmar]]. [[Guatemala]]. [[Ethiopia]]. [[Sudan]]. [[wikipedia:South_Sudan|South Sudan]]. [[wikipedia:Mozambique|Mozambique]]. [[wikipedia:Niger|Niger]]. [[Syria]], [[Mali]], [[wikipedia:Burkina_Faso|Burkina Faso]], [[Somalia]], [[Haiti]] and on and on and on. The world has often experienced famine. But when has it ever been so widespread, in so many places, at the same time? Why? Three reasons. First, man-made conflict. Dozens of civil wars and regional conflicts are raging, and hunger has been weaponized to achieve military and political objectives. Second, [[Global warming|climate shocks /climate change]]. [[wikipedia:Floods|Floods]], [[wikipedia:Droughts|droughts]], [[wikipedia:Locusts|locusts]] and rapidly changing [[weather]] patterns have created severe [[wikipedia:Crop_failures|crop failures]] around the world. Third, [[Coronavirus disease 2019|COVID-19]]. The [[COVID-19 pandemic|viral pandemic]] has created a secondary hunger pandemic, which is far worse than the first. [[wikipedia:COVID-19_shutdowns|Shutdowns]] destroyed livelihoods. Shutdowns [[wikipedia:2021–2023_global_supply_chain_crisis|stopped the movement of food]]. Shutdowns [[Inflation|inflated]] [[Price|prices]]. The net result is the poor of the world are priced out of survival. The ripple effect of COVID has been devastating on the [[World economy|global economy]]. During the pandemic, $3.7 trillion in [[Income|incomes]] — mostly among the [[Poverty|poor]] — have been wiped out, while [[wikipedia:Food_prices|food prices]] are spiking. The cost of shipping food, for example, has increased 3 – 400%. But in places of conflict and [[Developing country|low-income countries]], it is even worse. For example, in [[wikipedia:Aleppo|Aleppo, Syria]] — a war zone, where I just returned from — food is now seven times more expensive than it was 2 years ago. The combined effect of these three — conflict, climate and COVID — has created an unprecedented perfect storm.
** [[David Beasley]], [https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/peace/2020/wfp/lecture/ Nobel Peace Prize lecture of World Food Programme], 10 December 2021

* The regime’s [[Cruelty|brutality]] and repression of the Syrian people, who have called for [[freedom]] and a [[Representation|representative government]], not only endangers the Syrian people themselves, but also generates instability throughout the region.
** [[Joe Biden]], [https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2022/05/09/letter-to-the-speaker-of-the-house-of-representatives-and-the-president-of-the-senate-on-the-continuation-of-the-national-emergency-with-respect-to-the-actions-of-the-government-of-syria-2/ Letter to the Speaker of the House of Representatives and the President of the Senate, on the Continuation of the National Emergency with Respect to the Actions of the Government of Syria]

*It’s sickening to hear these clowns repeatedly claim that [[w:Bashar al-Assad|“Assad]] murdered 500,000 of his people,” as though the U.S.-backed [[w:terrorists|terrorists]] have played no role in the killings.  I’ve viewed hundreds of beheadings and crucifixions online but none committed by [[w:Syria|Syria]] troops – all were proudly posted by the hellish filth that we’ve recruited, armed and trained for the past eight years.  Major [[war crimes]], like beheading 250 Syrian soldiers after running them across the desert in their underpants, were scarcely mentioned by the [[Mainstream media|MSM]].
**[[w:Dick Black (politician)|Virginia State Senator Dick Black]] in [https://consortiumnews.com/2019/01/03/has-trump-been-outmaneuvered-on-syria-troop-withdrawal/  ''Has Trump Been Outmaneuvered on Syria Troop Withdrawal? Consortium News,'']   (3 January 2019)

===G===

* That was how his country was branded by the [[Dictatorship|dictator]]: ''Souriyya al-Assad'', the Syria of Assad, as though it were [[private property]]. Drilled into [[children]]’s heads at [[Education|school]], written on the walls and on banners hanging from [[Bridge|bridges]], the phrase made clear there was no escaping the Assads, father and son. Then came 2011 and the [[Arab Spring|Arab uprisings]]. Timid yearnings for [[freedom]] became a flood of people on the streets of Syria demanding the fall of the dictator. Millions took to the street. Yassin glimpsed the contours of a more hopeful future. So how could it be that when he returned to his hometown of Raqqa, in the summer of 2013, he found himself at the epicenter of a conflict not his own, looking over the ruins of his life, having been robbed of his soul, his love, his family. Yassin and millions of Syrians were rebelling against tyranny, but their country found itself caught between the [[Wahhabism|spiritual heirs of Ibn Abdelwahhab]] and the upholders of [[Ruhollah Khomeini|Khomeini]]’s legacy; between the [[Islamic State|Islamic State in Iraq and Syria (ISIS)]] and the [[Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps|Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps]] (IRGC).
** [[w:Kim Ghattas|Kim Ghattas]], ''Black Wave: Saudi Arabia, Iran, and the Forty-Year Rivalry That Unraveled Culture, Religion, and Collective Memory in the Middle East'' (2020) 

* Throughout 2011 and 2012, Assad steadily lost his grip on large parts of the country. In [[Washington, D.C.|Washington]] and [[Europe|European]] capitals, [[President|presidents]] and [[Prime Minister|prime ministers]] believed his days were numbered. But they had underestimated the dictator with no conscience. He was the true heir of [[Hafez al-Assad|his father]]. He would make no concessions; his approach was “Assad, or we burn the country.” And he would do just that. The Syrian uprising and the subsequent brutal war have been characterized from many perspectives. Most cite big geopolitical events for saving Assad, like [[Barack Obama|President Obama]]’s reluctance to intervene as he had done in [[2011 Libyan civil war|Libya]], or his backing down from a promise to punish Assad for using [[w:Chemical_weapons|chemical weapons]] against his people in 2013. But the longer the outside world allowed Assad to kill, torture, and imprison with impunity, the more the revolution fractured. The Syrian battle for freedom was in a race against the inexorable radicalization and militarization of any [[revolution]] that drags on too long. As rage and despair built up, the revolutionaries picked up arms, rebel factions formed and splintered. The revolution was also in a race against those who saw an opportunity in the chaos—two very different groups of men in black, bearing different flags, enemies in fact, had been scouting the terrain. They weren’t even Syrians.
** Kim Ghattas, ''Black Wave: Saudi Arabia, Iran, and the Forty-Year Rivalry That Unraveled Culture, Religion, and Collective Memory in the Middle East'' (2020) 

* Within a year of the uprising, [[Saudi Arabia]] had begun exploring how to arm the opposition: the Saudis wanted Assad gone so they could contain [[Iran]]’s ambitions in Syria. In private, Saudi officials began to describe Assad as an [[Military occupation|occupier]], a man with no legitimacy who was oppressing the majority with help from outside forces. Few who watched the Syrian revolution rise and unfold thought back to 1979, but the echoes would be obvious in hindsight—except everything was worse, as though all the players picked up where they had left off after the jihad in [[Afghanistan]], or the [[Iran-Iraq War]], or the [[Iraq War|2003 Iraq War]]. The son of Sa’id Hawwa, the Syrian [[Muslim Brotherhood]] ideologue, was involved; Surur, author of the ''Magi'' book, was playing a key role rallying the [[Islamism|Islamists]]; even the son of Arif Hussaini, the [[Assassination|assassinated]] [[Pakistan|Pakistani]] allama, would show up in [[Damascus]] to meet Shia fighters. 
** Kim Ghattas, ''Black Wave: Saudi Arabia, Iran, and the Forty-Year Rivalry That Unraveled Culture, Religion, and Collective Memory in the Middle East'' (2020) 
* With appetites sharpened, everyone returned to the battle with renewed vengeance. There would be rivers of blood, millions displaced, millions of [[Refugee|refugees]]. The war in Syria would break the [[Middle East]]. It would break the world. But first, it would destroy the lives of men like Yassin. In the fluid chaos of the revolution, he couldn’t know all the details about the forces lurking in the background. He focused on the possibilities, on the Syrianness of the revolution and the [[goodness]] in Syrians’ hearts; on the belief in the righteousness of their cause and their call for basic [[Freedom|freedoms]]. He had always believed that the country’s Islamists had to be included in a future, democratic country. Their exclusion for decades under Assad had solved nothing—in fact, the exclusion of Islamists was a blanket exclusion of all diverse forces, from [[Left-wing politics|left]] to [[Right-wing politics|right]]. He knew it wouldn’t be easy to forge a common vision with Islamist parties, but he believed it possible. For two years, he had lived in hiding in Damascus, moving from neighborhood to neighborhood to escape capture. Hundreds of activists were being rounded up and thrown in jails, only to disappear. Evidence of [[torture]] and [[Mass murder|mass exterminations]] would emerge.
** Kim Ghattas, ''Black Wave: Saudi Arabia, Iran, and the Forty-Year Rivalry That Unraveled Culture, Religion, and Collective Memory in the Middle East'' (2020) 

===K===

*Our demand for restraint in [[foreign policy]] must be stronger than defense contractor [[lobbyists]]. Our demand for [[criminal justice]] reform must be stronger than the prison-industrial complex.
**[[Ro Khanna]] in a [https://twitter.com/RoKhanna/status/1078674237311860736 ''Twitter post''] (28 December 2018)

*When [[progressives]] remain silent and don’t talk about why the war in Syria is illegal, then into the void step in [[neocons]] like [[Lindsey Graham]]. Any wonder that our nation remains mired in endless war. Let’s have the guts to stand for responsible withdrawal.
**[[Ro Khanna]] in a [https://twitter.com/RoKhanna/status/1079472690271059968 ''Twitter post''] (30 December 2018)

*Here’s something that the [[mainstream media]] has left out when talking about [[Donald Trump|Trump]]’s plan to withdraw troops from [[Syria]]: '''[[United States Congress|Congress]] never authorized sending troops to Syria. In fact, the [[United Nations|UN]] also never approved. Our troops in Syria are in violation of domestic and international law.'''
**[[Ro Khanna]] in a [https://twitter.com/RoKhanna/status/1079759835841916929  ''Twitter post''] (31 December 2018)

===M===

*It's enough killing our children, killing civilians. They pretend to fight terrorism. In fact they don't fight terrorism because they bring terrorism there and Isis is spreading in many areas in Syria more than before because of these [[Russian Armed Forces|Russian]] strikes
**Opposition Spokesman, Salem al-Mislet, ''BT'' (January 31, 2016), [http://home.bt.com/news/world-news/45-killed-in-damascus-area-blast-says-syrian-government-11364037294587 &quot;Damascus blasts kill at least 45 as Syria peace talks continue&quot;]

===J===

* I think that the only way that we deal with Syria is to join hands with [[Russia]] to diplomatically bring that at an end. But when we’ve aligned ourselves with — when we’ve supported the opposition of the {{w|Free Syrian Army}} — the Free Syrian Army is also coupled with the {{w|Islamists}}. And then the fact that we’re also supporting the [[w:Kurds in Syria|Kurds]] and this is — it’s just — it’s just a mess. And that this is the result of regime change that we end up supporting. And, inevitably, these regime changes have led a less-safe world. ... That has to be the solution, is joining hands with [[Russia]] to bring — to bring this civil war to an end.
** [[Gary Johnson]], interview on ''{{w|Morning Joe}}''. [http://time.com/4483779/gary-johnson-aleppo-transcript/] (September 8, 2016)

===K===

*Syria is an unfolding humanitarian catastrophe unmatched since [[World War II]]. I appeal to both sides to make the most of this moment — seize the opportunity for serious negotiations
**[[John Kerry]] on fights going on in Syria, ''USAToday'' (January 31, 2016), [http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2016/01/31/syria-bombing/79601578/ &quot;ISIL bombings kill at least 50 in Syria amid shaky peace talks&quot;]

===L===

*Nearly three years ago, as US-led coalition forces trapped a remnant of the [[Islamic State]] (IS) in a small enclave near the Syrian town of Baghuz, the [[United States Armed Forces|US military]] committed a horrific atrocity. As [[United States Air Force|Air Force]] officers watched the scene via drone cameras in real time, US warplanes murdered at least 80 unarmed women and children with 500- and 2,000-pound bombs. The officers who saw the attack urged that a war crimes investigation begin immediately.... The revelations of the act of mass murder in Syria come from Air Force officers at Al-Udeid airbase in [[w:Qatar|Qatar]], who were monitoring a high-resolution surveillance drone flying over Baghuz.  That day, the [https://www.nytimes.com/2021/11/13/us/us-airstrikes-civilian-deaths.html (''New York) Times''] writes, the “US military drone circled high overhead, hunting for military targets. But it saw only a large crowd of women and children huddled against a river bank... “We just dropped on 50 women and children,” said one officer monitoring the drone, though the US Central Command told the Times that 80 were killed, and the Times wrote that Air Force officers later saw a “shockingly high” death toll in another classified report.  
**[https://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2021/11/15/pers-n15.html Alex Lantier,  Whistleblowers expose US mass murder of women, children in Syria, ''WSWS''] (15 November 2021)

*A military lawyer, Lt. Colonel Dean Korsak, ordered drone operators and fighter aircrews to conserve footage of the atrocity for investigations. He then “reported the strike to his chain of command, saying it was a possible violation of the law of armed conflict—a [[War crimes|war crime]]—and regulations required a thorough, independent investigation,” t[https://www.nytimes.com/2021/11/13/us/us-airstrikes-civilian-deaths.html he Times reports.] Korsak’s concerns were bolstered by reports from [[Central Intelligence Agency|CIA]] officials “alarmed” about Task Force 9’s operations in Syria. What they encountered, however, was a cover-up orchestrated at top levels of the state, under both the [[Republican Party (United States)|Republican]] [[Presidency of Donald Trump|Trump]] and the [[Democratic Party (United States)|Democratic]] [[Presidency of Joe Biden|Biden administrations]].  Coalition forces in Baghuz oversaw the hiding of the bodies. “Satellite images from four days later show the sheltered bank and area around it, which were in the control of the coalition, appeared to have been bulldozed,” [https://www.nytimes.com/2021/11/13/us/us-airstrikes-civilian-deaths.html the Times writes.] It cites a former US Army Special Forces soldier, David Eubank, who arrived a week after the attack: “The place had been pulverized by airstrikes … There was a lot of freshly bulldozed earth and the stink of bodies underneath, a lot of bodies.”
**[https://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2021/11/15/pers-n15.html Alex Lantier,  Whistleblowers expose US mass murder of women, children in Syria, ''WSWS''] (15 November 2021)

===M===

* I don’t really think there is any kind of a reasonable argument against intervention in Syria. Quite the opposite: There is a moral and a human imperative to act that is larger than any nation’s interests and larger than any strategic calculation. That is so obvious it is an embarrassment to have to say it. This is how I thought about intervention in Iraq 20 years ago and it is how I think about what needs to be done in Syria today.
**[[Kanan Makiya]], &quot;Intervention In Syria is a Moral and Human Imperative&quot;, ''New Republican'' (February 24, 2012)

===O===

* As we meet here today, men and women and children are being tortured, detained and murdered by the Syrian regime. Thousands have been killed, many during the holy time of [[Ramadan]]. Thousands more have poured across Syria’s borders. The Syrian people have shown dignity and courage in their pursuit of justice -- protesting peacefully, standing silently in the streets, dying for the same values that this institution is supposed to stand for. And the question for us is clear: Will we stand with the Syrian people, or with their oppressors?
** [[Barack Obama]], [https://obamawhitehouse.archives.gov/the-press-office/2011/05/25/remarks-president-parliament-london-united-kingdom Remarks by the President to Parliament in London, United Kingdom (May 2011)]

* Already, the United States has imposed strong [[United States sanctions|sanctions]] on Syria’s leaders. We supported a transfer of power that is responsive to the Syrian people. And many of our allies have joined in this effort. But for the sake of Syria -- and the peace and security of the world -- we must speak with one voice. There's no excuse for inaction. Now is the time for the [[United Nations Security Council]] to [[sanction]] the Syrian regime, and to stand with the Syrian people.
** [[Barack Obama]], [https://obamawhitehouse.archives.gov/the-press-office/2011/05/25/remarks-president-parliament-london-united-kingdom Remarks by the President to Parliament in London, United Kingdom (May 2011)]

===P===
*The [[Iraq War|attack on Iraq]], the [[2011 Libyan civil war|attack on Libya]], the attack on Syria happened because the leader in each of these countries was not a puppet of the West. The human rights record of a [[Saddam Hussein|Saddam]] or a [[Muammar Gaddafi|Gaddafi]] was irrelevant. They did not obey orders and surrender control of their country.... As [[WikiLeaks|WikLeaks]] has revealed, it was only when the Syrian leader Bashar al-Assad in 2009 rejected an oil pipeline, running through his country from [[Qatar]] to [[Europe]], that he was attacked.... From that moment, the [[Central Intelligence Agency|CIA]] planned to destroy the government of Syria with [[jihadist]] fanatics – the same fanatics currently holding the people of [[Mosul]] and eastern Aleppo hostage. Why is this not news? The former [[w:British_Foreign_Office|British Foreign Office]] official [[w:Carne Ross|Carne Ross]], who was responsible for operating sanctions against Iraq, told me: “We would feed journalists factoids of sanitised [[Espionage|intelligence]], or we would freeze them out. That is how it worked.”   
**[[John Pilger]],  [http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article45752.htm Inside the Invisible Government: War, Propaganda, Clinton &amp; Trump], ''Information Clearing House'', October 28, 2016

*In the last days of the battle against the Islamic State in Syria, when members of the once-fierce caliphate were cornered in a dirt field next to a town called Baghuz, a U.S. military drone circled high overhead, hunting for military targets. But it saw only a large crowd of women and children huddled against a river bank. Without warning, an American F-15E attack jet streaked across the drone’s high-definition field of vision and dropped a 500-pound bomb on the crowd, swallowing it in a shuddering blast. As the smoke cleared, a few people stumbled away in search of cover. Then a jet tracking them dropped one 2,000-pound bomb, then another, killing most of the survivors....  a legal officer flagged the strike as a possible [[War crimes|war crime]] that required an investigation. But at nearly every step, the military made moves that concealed the catastrophic strike. The death toll was downplayed...Reports were delayed, sanitized and classified. The [[w:United_States_Department_of_Defense|Defense Department]]’s independent inspector general began an inquiry, but the report containing its findings was stalled and stripped of any mention of the strike. United States-led coalition forces bulldozed the blast site... American-led coalition forces bulldozed the blast site. Civilian observers who came to the area of the strike the next day described finding piles of dead women and children.
**[https://www.nytimes.com/2021/11/13/us/us-airstrikes-civilian-deaths.html How the U.S. Hid an Airstrike That Killed Dozens of Civilians in Syria,  By Dave Philipps and Eric Schmitt ''New York Times'',] (13 November 2021)

===R===

*'''The inhabitants are gradually coming back to Syrian cities and peaceful life is returning ... in this context, the implementation of humanitarian operations will be a new line of work for the [[Russian Armed Forces|Russian armed forces]] in Syria''',
**General [[w:Sergei Rudskoi|Sergei Rudskoi]], a senior Russian General Staff official, referring to how peaceful life is returning to Syria after Moscow's military operation with the Syria Government against militants, ''PressTV'' (September 23, 2014), [http://www.presstv.ir/Detail/2016/02/01/448316/US-Russia-Syria-Daesh &quot;US asks Russia for more 'access' in Syria for humanitarian purposes&quot;]

===S===

*The [[Foreign policy of the United States|US foreign policy]] [[establishment]] had rhetorically justified America’s presence in [[Syria]] as part of the war on the Islamic State ([[ISIS]]). With ISIS essentially defeated and dispersed, Trump called the establishment’s bluff. Yet suddenly, the establishment declared the actual reasons for the extended US presence. Trump’s move, it was charged, would hand geopolitical advantages to Syria’s [[Bashar al-Assad]], [[Russia]]’s [[Vladimir Putin]], and [[Iran]]’s [[Ali Khamenei]], while imperiling [[Israel]], betraying the Kurds, and causing other ills that are essentially unrelated to ISIS.
*This shift had the benefit of unmasking America’s real purposes in the Middle East, which are not so obscure, after all, except for the fact that mainstream pundits, US establishment strategists, and members of [[Congress]] tend not to mention them in polite company. The United States has not been in Syria (or [[Iraq]], [[Afghanistan]], [[Yemen]], the [[w:Horn of Africa|Horn of Africa]], [[Libya]], and elsewhere in the region) because of ISIS. In fact, ISIS was more a consequence than a cause of the US presence. The real purposes have been US regional [[hegemony]]; and the real consequences have been disastrous.
**[[Jeffrey Sachs]] in [https://www.project-syndicate.org/commentary/trump-syria-withdrawal-chance-for-peace-by-jeffrey-d-sachs-2019-01 ''Trump’s Syria Withdrawal is a Chance for Peace, Project Syndicate''] (2 January 2019)

*The truth about the US presence in Syria has rarely been told. But one can be sure that the US has had no scruples about [[democracy]] in Syria or elsewhere in the region, as its warm embrace of [[Saudi Arabia]] amply demonstrates. The US decided to promote an insurgency to overthrow Bashar al-Assad in 2011 not because the US and allies like Saudi Arabia longed for Syrian democracy, but because they decided that Assad was a hindrance to US regional interests. Assad’s sins were clear: he allied with [[Russia]], and he received support from [[Iran]].
**[[Jeffrey Sachs]] in [https://www.project-syndicate.org/commentary/trump-syria-withdrawal-chance-for-peace-by-jeffrey-d-sachs-2019-01 ''Trump’s Syria Withdrawal is a Chance for Peace, Project Syndicate''] (2 January 2019)

*The [[Foreign policy of the United States|foreign policy]] establishment opposes the US exit from Syria on the grounds that it would empower Iran and Russia, Syria’s allies... The [U.S.] security state typically tries to maintain military bases in those places where the United States has once intervened... This naive approach to foreign policy — overthrow the governments we don’t like and replace them with ones we do like — is the crux of the US foreign policy problem. As a result of this approach, the United States has been enmeshed in nonstop wars of regime change in the Middle East and North Africa, including Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, and Libya...
**[[Jeffrey Sachs]] in [http://jeffsachs.org/2018/04/trump-is-right-about-syria-its-time-to-leave/ ''Trump is right about Syria: It’s time to leave, The Boston Globe'']  (5 April 2018)

*Since a direct US-led war on Syria would have been a violation of [[international law]], Obama unleashed the CIA to operate covertly with Saudi Arabia and other countries. The CIA and Saudi Arabia teamed up...to back anti-Assad Syrian forces and jihadists from outside Syria. There was, of course, no vote by [[United States Congress|Congress]], no honest leveling with the American people, and no [[United Nations|UN]] vote. After six years of war, destruction, and failure in Syria, it’s time for... ending US support for anti-Assad forces. Yet the security state remains fixated on the presence of Iran and Russia in Syria.  End the war, and let diplomacy under a UN framework sort out the aftermath of a US-led war that never should have occurred.
**[[Jeffrey Sachs]] in [http://jeffsachs.org/2018/04/trump-is-right-about-syria-its-time-to-leave/ ''Trump is right about Syria: It’s time to leave, The Boston Globe'']  (5 April 2018)

*[[Donald Trump|President Trump]] recently suggested that the United States should come out of Syria “very soon.” Leading voices of the foreign policy establishment — in [[the Pentagon]], [[United States Department of State|State Department]], Congress, and the [[Mass media|media]] — pushed back, calling for the United States to stay in Syria... Trump was right..while the security state was wrong yet again. It’s long past time for the United States to end its destructive military engagement in Syria and across the Middle East, though the security state seems unlikely to let this happen.
**[[Jeffrey Sachs]] in [http://jeffsachs.org/2018/04/trump-is-right-about-syria-its-time-to-leave/ ''Trump is right about Syria: It’s time to leave, The Boston Globe'']  (5 April 2018)

* The invasion of Iraq has resulted in the almost complete annihilation of that country’s Christian community, and the attempt to remove Bashar Assad from power in Syria has seen that country’s Christians mercilessly attacked by the agents of US power, [[Radical Islam|radical]] [[Islamism|Islamists]]. To be a Christian in the Middle East is to be in constant fear that the USA will set its sights on your country because wherever it arrives, Mujahideen are never that far away.
** Niccolo Soldo, [https://niccolo.substack.com/p/saturday-commentary-and-review-63 Saturday Commentary and Review #63], ''Substack'', 29 November 2021

*Syria isn’t so much a country as it is an exhibit for Dictatorship Inc., the main purpose of which is to show that resistance really is futile. That’s why [[Russia]] doesn’t shrink from bombing civilian hospitals, or [[Hezbollah]] from starving entire cities into submission, or Assad from using [[w:Chemical_weapons|chemical weapons]]. They are showing their respective publics the lengths to which they are prepared to go to maintain their own grip on power.
**[[w:Bret Stephens|Bret Stephens]], [http://archive.is/qe8Xi#selection-2389.21-2393.380 &quot;The Rise of Dictatorship Incorporated&quot;] (2 March 2018), ''The New York Times''

===T===

* The decision to overthrow the [[Muammar Gaddafi|regime in Libya]], then pushing for the overthrow of the regime in Syria, among other things, without plans for the day after, have created space for [[ISIS]] to expand and grow like nobody has ever seen before. These actions, along with our disastrous [[w:Joint_Comprehensive_Plan_of_Action|Iran deal]], have also reduced our ability to work in partnership with our Muslim allies in the region. That is why our new goal must be to defeat [[Islamic terrorism]] not nation building. No more nation building. It's never going to work.
** [[Donald Trump]], Speech after the [[wikipedia:2016 Orlando nightclub shooting|2016 Orlando nightclub shooting]] ([http://time.com/4367120/orlando-shooting-donald-trump-transcript/ transcript])

* Today's chemical attack in Syria against [[Civilian casualties|innocent people]], including [[women]] and [[children]], is reprehensible and cannot be ignored by the [[Civilization|civilized world]]. These heinous actions by the [[Bashar al-Assad]] regime are a consequence of the past administration's weakness and irresolution. President Obama said in 2012 that he would establish a &quot;red line&quot; against the use of [[w:Chemical_weapons|chemical weapons]] and then did nothing. The United States stands with our allies across the globe to condemn this intolerable attack.
** [[Donald Trump]], [https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/statement-the-chemical-weapons-attack-khan-sheikhoun-syria Statement on the Chemical Weapons Attack in Khan Sheikhoun, Syria], ''American Presidency Project'', (6 September 2017)

===V===
*[[Veterans for Peace]] is pleased to hear that President Trump has ordered a total withdrawal of U.S. troops from [[Syria]], where they had no legal right to be in the first place. Whatever the reasoning, withdrawing U.S. troops is the right thing to do. It is incorrect to characterize the U.S. military intervention in [[Syria]] as “fighting terrorism,” as much of the media is doing... Veterans For Peace knows that the U.S. is a nation addicted to war. At this time of uncertainty, it is critically important that we, as veterans, continue to be clear and concise that our nation must turn from war to diplomacy and peace. It is high time to unwind all these tragic, failed and unnecessary wars of aggression, domination and plunder.  It is time to turn a page in history and to build a new world based on human rights, equality and mutual respect for all.  We must build momentum toward real and lasting peace. Nothing less than the survival of human civilization is at stake.
**[https://www.veteransforpeace.org/our-work/position-statements/veterans-peace-statement-us-troops-withdrawal-syria?  Excerpt of ''Veterans For Peace Statement on Withdrawal of U.S. Troops from Syria,'' Full text online] (19 December 2018)

=== W ===

* Since [[w:1961 Syrian coup d'etat|1961]], Syria has been ruled by the [[w:Syrian Ba'ath Party|Ba'ath Party]], the same party that ruled Iraq until the fall of [[Saddam Hussein]]. Bashar al-Assad inherited the leadership of Syria from his father [[Hafez al-Assad|Hafiz al-Assad]], in 2000. Bashar is the balancing point among the various Syrian power forces, including the [[w:Syrian Armed Forces|military]], the [[w:General Intelligence Directorate (Syria)|intelligence service]], the nation's ruling party, and the government [[bureaucracy]]. Meanwhile, the people of Syria are not free to express their political opinions, much less choose their leaders. 
** [[w:David Wallechinsky|David Wallechinsky]], ''Tyrants: The World's 20 Worst Living Dictators'' (2006), p. 2

* We still hear cries for help from those trapped under the rubble
** [[w:White Helmets (Syrian civil war)|White Helmets]], as cited in Jared Malsin, Rory Jones and Thomas Grove [https://www.wsj.com/articles/rescue-teams-race-against-time-to-find-survivors-11675840896 &quot;Rescue Teams Race to Find Earthquake Survivors in Turkey, Syria&quot;], ''The Wall Street Journal'' (February 8, 2023)

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:21st century in Syria]]
[[Category:Civil wars]]</text>
      <sha1>5jwuvk33hkdjl9zze9ej90sji9pf1x8</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Halyna Kruk</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>263506</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943924</id>
      <parentid>3543442</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:50:55Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>−[[Category:Women from Ukraine]]; ±[[Category:Women authors]]→[[Category:Women authors from Ukraine]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <origin>3943924</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1955" sha1="m9pgsmaa2us9mgc3czrjtzuqkx1k23c" xml:space="preserve">[[File:KrukForum2015.jpg|thumb|right|Halyna Kruk,  2015]]
'''[[w:Halyna Kruk|Halyna Kruk]]''' (Ukrainian: Гали́на Григо́рівна Крук; born 30 November 1974) is a Ukrainian writer, translator, educator and literary critic. 

== Quotes ==   
* ''War shortens the distance from person to person, from birth to death.''
** [https://lithub.com/war-shortens-the-distance-from-person-to-person-from-birth-to-death-new-work-by-ukrainian-poet-halyna-kruk/  Literary Hub, 2022]
* ''The death of these people will leave a gaping wound in our souls, in our culture, science, economy, industry and society. This is not a metaphor; I don’t know of any poetry that can heal this wound''
** [https://euromaidanpress.com/2022/06/27/war-is-not-a-metaphor/ War is not a metaphor, 2022]

*'' We stopped digging deep long ago &lt;br&gt;in this uncertain field of ours-yours &lt;br&gt;because all kinds of junk can turn up:&lt;br&gt; human bones, horses’ heads, unexploded mines''
** [https://lithub.com/war-shortens-the-distance-from-person-to-person-from-birth-to-death-new-work-by-ukrainian-poet-halyna-kruk/ We stopped digging deep long ago, 2022]

== Quotes about person/work ==
* Halyna Kruk has found a language to ingest violence and horror — blunt and eloquent, witty and aphoristic, her language is layered and electric as it takes on the daily dislocations of Russia’s barbaric war on Ukraine. Idiosyncratic and universal, these poems bring us necessary news as only poetry can.
** [https://nanovic.nd.edu/events/2023/04/19/the-three-languages-of-mother-a-ukrainian-war-poem-in-translation/ Peter Balakian, Pulitzer Prize winner]

== External links== 
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Kruk, Halyna}}
[[Category:Women authors from Ukraine]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Poets from Ukraine]]
[[Category:Children's authors]]
[[Category:People from Lviv]]
[[Category:Translators from Ukraine]]
[[Category:1974 births]]
[[Category:Women born in the 1970s]]</text>
      <sha1>m9pgsmaa2us9mgc3czrjtzuqkx1k23c</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Iryna Starovoyt</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>263985</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943938</id>
      <parentid>3543456</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:54:41Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>−[[Category:Women from Ukraine]]; ±[[Category:Women authors]]→[[Category:Women authors from Ukraine]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <origin>3943938</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1223" sha1="9dcszc95w3gxz2k8sz1pzqj7vxq9jx4" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Iryna Starovoyt|Iryna Starovoyt]]''' (Ukrainian: Ірина Миколаївна Старовойт; born 30 July 1975) is a Ukrainian poet, essayist, translator and literary critic 

== Quotes ==  
* ''Сінокосна трава у корінні іще жива,&lt;br&gt; але стеблами мертва не-боли-голова.&lt;br&gt; Тратить кров зеленаву, не знає мовчати ні мовити.&lt;br&gt; Позбуваючись мови, прибувають на силі слова..''
** Translated from Ukrainian by Grace Mahoney: &lt;br&gt;The grass under the scythe is still alive at the roots,&lt;br&gt; but the stems are left senseless and dead.&lt;br&gt; The grass bleeds green, and can neither speak nor keep silent.&lt;br&gt; Losing their language, words grow in power.
** [https://losthorsepress.org/catalog/a-field-of-foundlings-selected-poems-of-iryna-starovoyt/ A FIELD OF FOUNDLINGS, 2017] 


== External links== 
{{wikipedia}} 

{{DEFAULTSORT:Iryna, Starovoyt}}
[[Category:Women authors from Ukraine]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Poets from Ukraine]]
[[Category:People from Lviv]]
[[Category:Translators from Ukraine]]
[[Category:1975 births]]
[[Category:Women born in the 1970s]]</text>
      <sha1>9dcszc95w3gxz2k8sz1pzqj7vxq9jx4</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Natalia Ginzburg</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>264383</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943910</id>
      <parentid>3896085</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:44:43Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>removed [[Category:Women authors]]; added [[Category:Women authors from Italy]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <origin>3943910</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="10242" sha1="ess3djqb73k3humpjnwcfz79e746964" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Natalia Ginzburg 1956.jpg|thumb|200px|Natalia Ginzburg (1956)]]

'''[[w:Natalia Ginzburg|Natalia Ginzburg]]''' (née Levi; 14 July 1916 – 7 October 1991) was an author who lived in [[Italy]]. She wrote novels, short stories and essays, which often explored family relationships, politics during and after the [[Fascism|Fascist]] years and [[World War II]], and philosophy. For a time in the 1930s she belonged to the [[Italian Communist Party]] and in 1983 she was elected to Parliament from Rome as an independent politician.

== Quotes ==  
*they laughed a little and were very friendly together, the three of them, Anna, Emanuele and Giustino; and they were pleased to be together, the three of them, thinking of all those who were dead, and of the long war and the sorrow and noise and confusion, and of the long, difficult life which they saw in front of them now, full of all the things they did not know how to do.”
**Tutti i nostri ieri (1952). All Our Yesterdays, transl. Angus Davidson (1985)

*Fanfares of trumpets usually announced only small, futile things, it was a way fate had of teasing people. You felt a great exaltation and heard a loud fanfare of trumpets in the sky. But the serious things of life, on the contrary, took you by surprise, they spurted up all of a sudden like water.
**Tutti i nostri ieri (1952). All Our Yesterdays, transl. Angus Davidson (1985)

*But it was incredible how fear and danger never produced ignoble words but always true ones, words that were torn from your very heart.
**Tutti i nostri ieri (1952). All Our Yesterdays, transl. Angus Davidson (1985)

===[https://salmagundi.skidmore.edu/articles/29-an-interview-with-natalia-ginzburg Interview] (1992)===
*Groups? Movements? I don’t really think these groups exist. I don’t think in Italy there even are such things as currents or trends. The whole scene is really much too chaotic for such groups to form and stay together as separate entities.

*(Are there other English language writers who mean a lot to you?) NG: Well, of course, [[Shakespeare]]. And I love [[George Eliot]] as well. I’ve read the major authors, but in Italian, not English. Perhaps my favorite English novelist is [[Jane Austen]]. I hardly know contemporary American literature. The two American authors I love most, who are by now dead, alas, are [[Carson McCullers]] and [[Flannery O’Connor]]. And then I love [[Fitzgerald]] and [[Hemingway]]—especially the Hemingway of the stories...When [[Edgar Lee Masters]]’s Spoon River Anthology came out in Italian, suddenly there was widespread interest in North American writing. But even before that [[Pavese]] was busy introducing us all to the great American writers. 

*dialect is really impossible to translate adequately.

*I’m not really a poet. It’s only once in a while that what I have to say seems to find its best expression in a poem. But I do read a number of poets—Montale, [[Sandro Penna]], Sabba. 

*(there must have been other writers whom you regarded as models.) NG: In my adolescence, the Russians were tremendously important to me. More than anyone, [[Chekhov]]. Of the Italians, [[Svevo]], the [[Moravia]] of ''Gli Indifferenti''. When I started writing these were the writers I kept before me. 

*Style is not something that can be improvised: one has to construct it, to make it. 

*in my own work...there’s an important sense of the visual, of the visualized. I see it all so vividly. It’s not that I don’t see what I imagine. If I don’t see it then I can’t write anything. 

*My [[Jewish]] identity became extremely important to me from the moment the Jews began to be persecuted. At that point I became aware of myself as a Jew. But I came from a mixed marriage—my father was Jewish, my mother Catholic. My parents were atheists and therefore chose not to give us, the children, any religious instruction. They were totally non-observant. You might say that a Hebrew spirit dominated the household in the sense that my father had a very strong, very authoritarian character. And I suppose it’s true that many of the family friends were Jews, but many were not. So, while I did not have any sort of formal Jewish upbringing, I nevertheless felt my Jewishness very acutely during the war years (my first husband, Leone Ginzburg, was a Jew) and after the war, when it became known what had been done to the Jews in the camps by the Nazis. Suddenly my Jewishness became very important to me. 

*for a mistake, my God, you don’t make a child suffer!

*unfortunately, a great number of judges and social workers are rigidly unable to judge cases in a human way.

*I believe the family to be terribly important, even when it is obsessive or repressive or full of insidious germs which can pollute life. But it’s a necessary institution, a way in which children become adults, for which there’s no substitute. 

*Every time I sit down to write a book I feel that I have to start from zero, that I have to re-learn how to write.

*(PB: You wrote your essay “The Little Virtues” a long time ago, really in another age. A number of American readers are very much taken with the piece while finding it a direct challenge to their familiar assumptions. Would you still offer parents the same advice with regard to the upbringing of their children or have your thoughts changed?) NG: I’m sure that I would write exactly the same thing; even in these difficult times one should only teach the big virtues, generosity more than anything else. The rest can be learned later on. 

*A journalist recently said in the newspapers that writers should keep their mouths shut as much as possible and I think he was probably right. Better to write than to speak. 

*what a job of ants and horses [[translation]] is. (PB: Ants and horses?) NG: One has to be as exact and industrious as an ant and have the impetus, the strength, of a horse to pull ahead.

===''Le piccole virtù'' (1962)===
Translated into English by Dick Davis as ''The Little Virtues'' (1985)

*When I write something I usually think it is very important and that I am a very fine writer. I think this happens to everyone. But there is one corner of my mind in which I know very well what I am, which is a small, a very small writer. I swear I know it. But that doesn't matter much to me. Only, I don't want to think about names: I can see that if I am asked 'a small writer like who?' it would sadden me to think of the names of other small writers. I prefer to think that no one has ever been like me, however small, however much a mosquito or a flea of a writer I may be. The important thing is to be convinced that this really is your vocation, your profession, something you will do all your life.

*What we must remember above all in the education of our children is that their love of life should never weaken.

*Human relationships have to be rediscovered every day. We have to remember constantly that every kind of meeting with our neighbor is a human action and so it is always evil or good, true or deceitful, a kindness or a sin.

*He knew how to find time to study and to write, to earn his living and to wander idly through the streets he loved; whereas we, who staggered from laziness to frantic activity and back again, wasted our time trying to decide whether we were lazy or industrious

*Our dreams are never realized and as soon as we see them betrayed we realize that the intensest joys of our life have nothing to do with reality. No sooner do we see them betrayed than we are consumed with regret for the time when they glowed within us. And in this succession of hopes and regrets our life slips by.

*if we ourselves have a vocation, if we have not betrayed it, if over the years we have continued to love it, to serve it passionately, we are able to keep all sense of ownership out of our love for our children. But if on the other hand we do not have a vocation, or if we have abandoned it or betrayed it out of cynicism or a fear of life, or because of mistaken parental love, or because of some little virtue that exists within us, then we cling to our children as a shipwrecked mariner clings to a tree trunk.

==Quotes about==
*(prompt: &quot;The book that changed my life&quot;) I was well into my 30s when I read ''The Little Virtues'' by Natalia Ginzburg and as soon as I began I felt myself deeply connected. It isn’t that it’s the greatest book in the world, but for me it was vital. I felt she was showing me the type of writer I had it in me to be. One of the essays – “My Vocation” – really hit the nail on the head. I identified profoundly with the way in which Ginzburg traced her own development as a nonfiction writer. It made me realise that it was only through this kind of writing I could employ my own storytelling gifts. I reread it irregularly but quite a lot, and I’m always amazed by what she is able to accomplish with the small personal essay.
**[[Vivian Gornick]] [https://www.theguardian.com/books/2021/mar/26/vivian-gornick-i-couldnt-finish-michelle-obamas-becoming &quot;Books That Made Me&quot;] (2021)

*The novels and essays of Natalia Ginzburg (among them, The Manzoni Family and The Little Virtues) address both her Sephardic ancestry and her leftist political philosophy.
**[[Ilan Stavans]] Introduction to ''The Schocken Book of Modern Sephardic Literature'' (2005)

== External links== 
{{wikipedia}} &lt;!-- OPTIONAL --&gt;
* [http://occasionalreview.blogspot.com/2009/01/little-virtues-by-natalia-ginzburg.html Akshay Ahuja, Review of ''The Little Virtues''], ''The Occasional Review'' blog
* [http://jwa.org/encyclopedia/article/ginzburg-natalia Acobas, Patrizia, &quot;Natalia  Ginzburg.&quot; ''Jewish Women: A Comprehensive Historical Encyclopedia'']. 1 March 2009. Jewish Women's Archive. (Viewed on July 27, 2016)


{{DEFAULTSORT:Ginzburg, Natalia}}
[[Category:1916 births]]
[[Category:1991 deaths]]
[[Category:Essayists from Italy]]
[[Category:Novelists from Italy]]
[[Category:Playwrights from Italy]]
[[Category:Short story writers from Italy]]
[[Category:Women authors from Italy]]
[[Category:Women politicians in Italy]]
[[Category:Jewish atheists]]
[[Category:Jewish socialists]]
[[Category:Anti-fascists]]
[[Category:People from Sicily]]</text>
      <sha1>ess3djqb73k3humpjnwcfz79e746964</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Itō Noe</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>269820</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943939</id>
      <parentid>3463749</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:54:56Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>removed [[Category:Women authors]]; added [[Category:Women authors from Japan]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <origin>3943939</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="2485" sha1="9em0jk9l5rcprpmtnj6od5p3hwa4bsn" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Ito Noe 2.jpg|thumb|{{w|Itō Noe}}]]
'''{{w|Itō Noe}}''' (伊藤 野枝, January 21, 1895 – September 16, 1923) was a [[w:Japanese people|Japanese]] [[anarchism|anarchist]], [[w:social criticism|social critic]], author, and [[feminism|feminist]].  She was the editor-in-chief of the feminist magazine ''[[w:Bluestocking (magazine)|Seitō (Bluestocking)]]''.

{{Author-stub}}
== Quotes ==

* We have often heard the abuse that the ideal of [[anarchist communism]] is an unrealizable fancy. Everyone clings to the superstitious belief that [[autonomy]] cannot be achieved without the support of a {{w|central government}}. In particular, some [[socialists]] ... sneer at the “[[dream]]” of anarchism. Yet I have found that it is not a dream, but something aspects of which have been realized in the autonomy of the villages inherited from our ancestors. In some remote districts where there is no so-called “culture,” I have discovered a simple [[mutual aid]] ... and a social life based on mutual agreement. It is completely different from “administration” under central government, being a mutual aid organization generated by necessity and continued in parallel with the official administration since before the time when there was an “administrative organ.” 
** ''[https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/ito-noe-the-facts-of-anarchy The Facts of Anarchy]'' (1921). From Robert Graham (Ed.), Anarchism: A Documentary History of Libertarian Ideas; Volume One: From Anarchy to Anarchism (300 CE to 1939)

* Egoistic urban life is intolerable to those accustomed to village life. Where there is no hope of success besides poverty, it is far more comfortable and warm to support each other under the protection of the association.
** ''[https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/ito-noe-the-facts-of-anarchy The Facts of Anarchy]'' (1921). From Robert Graham (Ed.), Anarchism: A Documentary History of Libertarian Ideas; Volume One: From Anarchy to Anarchism (300 CE to 1939)

== See also ==
* [[Ōsugi Sakae]]

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Commons category|Noe Ito|Noe Itō}}

{{Authority control}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Ito, Noe}}
[[Category:1895 births]]
[[Category:1923 deaths]]
[[Category:Anarcha-feminists]]
[[Category:Women authors from Japan]]
[[Category:Free love advocates]]
[[Category:Political authors from Japan]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from Japan]]
[[Category:Social critics]]
[[Category:Murdered people]]
[[Category:Anarchists from Japan]]</text>
      <sha1>9em0jk9l5rcprpmtnj6od5p3hwa4bsn</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>John Huston Ricard</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>270725</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944028</id>
      <parentid>3474208</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T20:46:16Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Normantas Bataitis</username>
        <id>3082321</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944028</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1479" sha1="lsdf9plcc0as1hgid71uv0jb2lpyypr" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:John Huston Ricard|John Huston Ricard]]''' ([[February 29]], [[1940]] – [[May 20]], [[2026]]) was an American prelate of the Catholic Church who served as an auxiliary bishop of the [[w:Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Baltimore|Archdiocese of Baltimore]] and as the bishop of the [[w:Roman Catholic Diocese of Pensacola–Tallahassee|Diocese of Pensacola–Tallahassee]].

== Quotes ==
* The task of providing moral direction to the highly complex socio-economic forces of our time must be addressed from within nations and across natural boundaries simultaneously. In its work of relief and development CRS wants to be an effective equal partner with local Churches in Central and South America and the Caribbean Region. Partnership here means attending scrupulously to the pastoral vision, practices and goals of the local church.
** [https://www.vatican.va/content/dam/wss/news_services/press/sinodo/documents/bollettino_17_speciale-america-1997/02_inglese/b20_02.html#H.%20Exc.%20Rev.%20Msgr.%20John%20Huston%20RICARD,%20S.S.J.,%20Bishop%20of%20Pensacola-Tallahassee H. Exc. Rev. Msgr. John Huston RICARD , S.S.J., Bishop of Pensacola-Tallahassee (27 November 1997) ''Press Office of the Holy See'']

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Ricard, John Huston}}
[[Category:1940 births]]
[[Category:2026 deaths]]
[[Category:Catholics from the United States]]
[[Category:Roman Catholic bishops]]
[[Category:African Americans]]
[[Category:People from Florida]]</text>
      <sha1>lsdf9plcc0as1hgid71uv0jb2lpyypr</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Leah Goldberg</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>273648</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943911</id>
      <parentid>3896601</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:45:37Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>−[[Category:Women from Israel]]; ±[[Category:Women authors]]→[[Category:Women authors from Israel]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <origin>3943911</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="7769" sha1="nlu570fl289yvsh0h9kv4odz8jsnyzm" xml:space="preserve">[[File:A portrait of national poetess Lea Goldberg. D507-061.jpg|thumb|Leah Goldberg]]
'''[[w:Leah Goldberg|Leah Goldberg or Lea Goldberg]]''' (Hebrew: לאה גולדברג; May 29, 1911, Königsberg – January 15, 1970, Jerusalem) was a prolific [[Hebrew]]-language [[poet]], author, playwright, literary translator, illustrater and painter, and comparative literary researcher. 

== Quotes ==  
*My days are engraved in my poems&lt;br /&gt;like years in the rings of a tree&lt;br /&gt;like the years of my life in the furrows of my brow
**first lines of &quot;About Myself&quot;, translated from Hebrew by Rachel Tzvia Back. Included in ''Lea Goldberg: Selected Poetry and Drama'' (2005)

*[[death]]. Its weight is not great.&lt;br /&gt;How lightly and with what casual grace&lt;br /&gt;we carry it with us everywhere we go.
**fragment from &quot;The Eighth Part (At Least) of Everything&quot;, collected in ''The Remains of Life'' (1978). Translation from the Hebrew by Robert Friend in ''Burning Air and a Clear Mind: Contemporary Israeli Women Poets'' edited by Myra Glazer (1981)

*A young poet suddenly falls silent&lt;br /&gt;for fear of telling the [[truth]].&lt;br /&gt;An old poet falls silent for fear&lt;br /&gt;the best in a poem&lt;br /&gt;is its lie.
**poem collected in ''The Remains of Life'' (1978). Translated from Hebrew by Rachel Tzvia Back and included in ''Lea Goldberg: Selected Poetry and Drama'' (2005)

*The years have made up my face&lt;br /&gt;with memories of loves&lt;br /&gt;and have adorned my hair with light silver threads&lt;br /&gt;making me most beautiful.&lt;br /&gt;In my eyes are reflected&lt;br /&gt;the landscapes.&lt;br /&gt;And paths I have trod&lt;br /&gt;have straightened my stride –&lt;br /&gt;tired and lovely steps.&lt;br /&gt;If you should see me now&lt;br /&gt;you would not recognize your yesterdays –&lt;br /&gt;I am walking toward myself&lt;br /&gt;with a face you searched for in vain&lt;br /&gt;when I was walking toward you.&lt;br /&gt;
**&quot;Toward Myself&quot; collected in ''With the Night'' (1964). Translated from Hebrew by Rachel Tzvia Back and included in ''Lea Goldberg: Selected Poetry and Drama'' (2005)

*How the passing of Time tries me,&lt;br /&gt;its double reckoning my duty and my right:&lt;br /&gt;Every day it constructs and ruins me&lt;br /&gt;completing thus my life and my death.
**&quot;Time&quot; collected in ''Lightning in the Morning'' (1955). Translated from Hebrew by Rachel Tzvia Back and included in ''Lea Goldberg: Selected Poetry and Drama'' (2005)

*The world is heavy on our eyelids
**translated from Hebrew by Rachel Tzvia Back. First line of poem and included in ''Lea Goldberg: Selected Poetry and Drama'' (2005) in the section &quot;Early Poems&quot;

== Quotes about ==
*preeminent, versatile, and prolific writer of modern Hebrew letters
**Rachel Tzvia Back, [https://www.worldliteraturetoday.org/blog/translation/last-poems-lea-goldberg-rachel-tzvia-back &quot;The Last Poems of Lea Goldberg&quot;] (May 30, 2017) 

*Leah Goldberg, as well as [[Anda Pinkerfeld-Amir]], wrote verse for children, but she is best known for her modernist poetry. In line with contemporary European modernist poetry, she often expressed the poet's inner struggle during the act of writing, and the difficulties in overcoming this inherently artificial medium. Leah Goldberg was active in the field of literary criticism and translation, especially from Russian, and was in search of revolutionary techniques. She experimented with prose as well as drama. Her play &quot;Ba'alat Ha'armon' ('The Castle Owner') introduced the difficult theme of the [[Holocaust]] to women's writing.
**Risa Domb, Introduction in ''New Women's Writing from Israel'' (1996)

*one of the most important women in contemporary Hebrew literature...At her peak, Goldberg wrote beautifully and sadly about thwarted love
**Vivian Eden, [https://www.worldliteraturetoday.org/blog/book-reviews/life-remains-surface-silence-lea-goldbergs-last-poems-vivian-eden &quot;Life Remains on the Surface of Silence: Lea Goldberg’s Last Poems&quot;] (March 28, 2018)

===Eilat Negev, ''Close Encounters with Twenty Israeli Writers'' (2003)===
*Goldberg lived the bohemian life, debating for days on end with her poet friends in the [[Tel Aviv]] cafés.

*The poet, [[Tuvia Ribner]], a close friend for dozens of years, and the executor of her literary estate said: &quot;The memory of the father and her fear accompanied Leah to adulthood. This is the reason, I believe, that she chose the stricter poetic forms, such as a sonnet, which has 14 lines, meticulous rhyming scheme and fixed rhythm, and avoided loose rhythms. Her poetics emerge from a strong need for self-control, every single one of her poems having a rational basis, meant to guard the poem and herself.

*biographer Professor Leiblich: &quot;...from an early stage, she felt herself old, heavy, too serious. She had a sense of guilt about all her loves, she perceived love as a nuisance, something to beware of.&quot;

*She was always guarding her secrets behind walls, and her love poems were covered under seven veils of mystery; among her most beautiful is the sonnet sequence, 'The Love of Theresa De-Mon'

*Professor Amiya Leiblich: &quot; 'She suffered from emotional deficiency...She had a permanent guilt towards all the men she was in love with, as well as an inferiority complex. Even in poetry, where her value and superiority were unmistakable, she always thought she was lacking, and not as good as Ben-Yitzhak. As a feminist, I am indignant that a poet as great as Goldberg, erased herself, not just as a woman, but as an artist.'

*'At times of lack of inspiration in writing, she turned to painting. She often made sketches of the literary protagonists who furnished her life, as she visualized them in her imagination', remembers her friend, the poet T. Carmi.

*'Leah Goldberg felt herself kin with [[Dante]], [[Kafka]], [[Beethoven]], who also had imaginary loves, which were the muses that ignited their great works', concludes Professor Amiya Leiblich: &quot;First and foremost, she was a poet, willing to let go of life for art's sake. The woman who experienced a miserable love life, succeeded in producing gentle love poems, and remains Israel's High Priestess of Love, who couples quote in moments of the most intense emotional harmony.&quot;

*[[Jerusalem]], adorned with the memories of the past, appealed to her more than the 'white cardboard boxes', which she associated with [[Tel Aviv]].

*She was a fascinating university lecturer, who loved to stand on the pedestal, her eternal cigarette in her hand, and read poetry in her deep, rough, unpleasant voice, that nevertheless drew crowds into over-stuffed auditoriums.

*Although she became the Head of Comparative Literature Studies, she remained alien in the academic establishment. 'Being both an artist and a woman, the male colleagues belittled her academic achievements, and she had a hard struggle to be nominated as a professor', recalls Esther Tishbi, a friend.

*Leah Goldberg expanded the spectrum of lyricism, her poems speaking of a search for love, contact and attention, and she inspired hordes of young poets, mostly women. But she became an easy target for the new rebellious generation of poets and critics, who feared to attack the male figureheads like Shlonsky and Alterman. She complained to Tuvia Ribner, 'What do they want from me, I was never at the centre of the stage. Why do they pick on me?'

== External links== 
{{wikipedia}} &lt;!-- OPTIONAL --&gt;
*[https://jwa.org/encyclopedia/article/goldberg-lea Jewish Women's Archive page]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Goldberg, Leah}}
[[Category:1911 births]]
[[Category:1970 deaths]]
[[Category:Jews from Lithuania]]
[[Category:Poets from Israel]]
[[Category:Playwrights from Israel]]
[[Category:Translators from Israel]]
[[Category:Illustrators]]
[[Category:Painters]]
[[Category:Children's authors]]
[[Category:Women authors from Israel]]
[[Category:Deaths from disease]]</text>
      <sha1>nlu570fl289yvsh0h9kv4odz8jsnyzm</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Template:Protected page text/styles.css</title>
    <ns>10</ns>
    <id>277992</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944058</id>
      <parentid>3568329</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T22:27:11Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Codename Noreste</username>
        <id>3154048</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>Protected &quot;[[Template:Protected page text/styles.css]]&quot;: Highly visible template: Matching [[Template:Protected page text]]. ([Edit=Allow only administrators] (indefinite) [Move=Allow only administrators] (indefinite))</comment>
      <origin>3568329</origin>
      <model>sanitized-css</model>
      <format>text/css</format>
      <text bytes="311" sha1="gfre6n6ab5ez0pjot3c89frk0ld74qb" xml:space="preserve">.pptext-whywhat h2 {
	margin-top: 1em;
	border-bottom: 0;
	font-size: 130%;
	font-weight: bold;
	padding: 0.15em;
}

.pptext-submit {
	list-style: none;
	display: inline;
	text-align: center;
}

.pptext-whywhat {
	display: flex;
	flex-wrap: wrap;
	column-gap: 2em;
}

.pptext-whywhat &gt; div {
	flex: 1 1 400px;
}</text>
      <sha1>gfre6n6ab5ez0pjot3c89frk0ld74qb</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Gail Hareven</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>278407</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943925</id>
      <parentid>3573325</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:51:15Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>−[[Category:Women from Israel]]; ±[[Category:Women authors]]→[[Category:Women authors from Israel]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <origin>3943925</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="4821" sha1="80l60j5h4vvyfpkv0ii1pirxnk9hdjs" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Gail Hareven|Gail Hareven]]''' (Hebrew: גַּיִל הַרְאֶבֶן); born 1959 Jerusalem) is an author from [[Israel]]. 

== Quotes ==  
===''Lies, First Person'' (2008)===
translated from the Hebrew to English by Dalya Bilu

*First of all we have to plant the Garden of Eden, because without the Garden of Eden there is no serpent; without the boughs of the apple tree to hide in, the serpent is nothing but an eater of dirt, of no greater significance than a snail or a worm.&lt;br&gt;Therefore, let there be a Garden of Eden!&lt;br&gt;And in fact, why &quot;let there be&quot;? There was a Garden of Eden. The Garden of Eden existed. Because why shouldn't I call what I had a &quot;Garden of Eden&quot;?&lt;br&gt;Let's begin with a Sabbath day of unutterable sweetness.
**first lines

*Anyone who grew up like I did will always see the room from the point of view of the maid who comes to clean it. (p198)

*&quot;...Just because a person realizes how lucky he was doesn't mean that he's prepared to stop being lucky.&quot; (p 265)

*you can never know what will calm the troubled soul: a poem, a philosophical saying, or a silly slogan on the roof of the Jewish Agency. (p272)

*you can't put a lid on the past so easily (p355)

===''The Confessions of Noa Weber'' (2001)===
translated from the Hebrew to English by Dalya Bilu

*Sometimes you have to stick your finger down your throat and vomit up the disgusting insides of the self... sometimes you have to increase the nausea in order to get rid of the disgust... (p12)

*[[Love]] can be described as compulsive thinking. The thought buzzes and buzzes like an insect stuck to a wet picture...Compulsive thinking latches on to details and dwells on them as if they hold enormous significance which cannot be grasped in a moment. It keeps returning to them again and again as if there is still something left to understand. The more I think about the meaning of these gestures the sicker I get of my thoughts and of myself for thinking them. (p34-5)

*what does it help me to know that the heart is a muscle, just a blood-pumping muscle, if my heart still goes out to him, and the bloody muscle still yearns and swells? (p38)

*&quot;Only someone with an individual voice of his own can describe what is impossible to describe&quot; (p51)

*Love had mobilized my entire being, love ruled me like a tyrant, and love would allow for no other master. (p67)

===Interviews===
====[https://forward.com/culture/103319/gail-hareven-s-confessional/ with ''Forverts''] (2009)====
*Personally, I think it’s very important for a writer to know what kinds of things are beyond his or her knowledge. Even though I spent a lot of time with people who came from Russia, and visited Russia eight times before writing “Confessions,” I knew it wasn’t possible for me to write what’s going on in Alek’s mind.

*Being a mother — especially of twins — taught me how to work efficiently. Family life saves one from the dangers of solipsism, which I think many writers encounter. One has to learn how to live with two parallel worlds, and, in a way, use the actual life as a good and safe base from which one can send expeditions to that parallel world. I think that dealing only with words all the time doesn’t do one any good. It’s good to remember that there are other human beings around you.

*For me there’s no dichotomy between thought on one hand, and feelings or passion on the other. They aren’t different spheres. In a way, I believe that our passions appear to us in the form of thoughts. And that thought can be extremely passionate. Every person, when he experiences some kind of feeling, also relates to that feeling — judges it, evaluates it. I think that what makes people different is not so much what they feel as the different ways they respond to their feelings.

==Quotes about==
*Hareven, one of Israel's finest writers, has a keen insight into how a toxic relationship can consume a woman.
**Jessa Crispin from [https://www.npr.org/2009/04/03/102515201/confessions-of-a-woman-obsessed book review] (2009)

*The simple thirst for vengeance that drives so many crime thrillers becomes, in Hareven’s hands, the subject of a moral investigation that yields no clear answers. This is what gives Lies, First Person its haunting power and reveals Hareven as a novelist that American readers should embrace.
**Adam Kirsch in [https://www.tabletmag.com/sections/arts-letters/articles/gail-hareven book review] (2015)

== External links== 
{{wikipedia}} &lt;!-- OPTIONAL --&gt;
*[https://www.ithl.org.il/writer/gail-hareven/ The Israeli Institute for Hebrew Literature page]


{{DEFAULTSORT:Hareven, Gail}}
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Jews from Israel]]
[[Category:1959 births]]
[[Category:Novelists from Israel]]
[[Category:Women authors from Israel]]
[[Category:Women born in the 1950s]]</text>
      <sha1>80l60j5h4vvyfpkv0ii1pirxnk9hdjs</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Laura Loomer</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>278747</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944152</id>
      <parentid>3928208</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T10:36:43Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>EarthDude</username>
        <id>3228931</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>The article has a reliable source which details her self-identification as an islamophobe</comment>
      <origin>3944152</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="10488" sha1="im2ev4qucd0rgtv1wfk97cwb7w82rx1" xml:space="preserve">[[File: Laura Loomer by Gage Skidmore.jpg | thumb | right | Laura Loomer, 2024]]
'''[[w:Laura Loomer|Laura Elizabeth Loomer]]''' (born May 21, 1993) is an American [[w:Radical right (United States)|far-right]] political activist and [[w:internet personality|internet personality]]. She was the [[Republican Party (United States)|Republican]] nominee to represent [[w:Florida's 21st congressional district|Florida's 21st congressional district]] in the [[w:2020 United States House of Representatives elections in Florida#District 21|2020 United States House of Representatives elections]], losing to Democrat [[w:Lois Frankel|Lois Frankel]]. She also ran in the Republican primary for [[w:Florida's 11th congressional district|Florida's 11th congressional district]] in [[w:2022 United States House of Representatives elections in Florida#District 11|2022]], losing to incumbent [[w:Daniel Webster (Florida politician)|Daniel Webster]]. She has been described as espousing [[w:anti-Muslim|anti-Muslim]], [[white nationalist]] and [[w:conspiracy theorist|conspiracy theorist]] views.

== Quotes ==
* Someone needs to create a non Islamic form of [[Uber]] or Lyft because I never want to support another Islamic immigrant driver.
** Tweeted before her Twitter account was shut down, quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-election/laura-loomer-islamophobe-republican-primary-florida-a9677066.html &quot;Laura Loomer: Far-right ‘proud Islamophobe’ wins Republican primary in Florida&quot;], ''The Independent'' (London, August 19, 2020)

* I consider myself to be a white advocate and I openly campaigned for the United States Congress as a white advocate.
**[https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/sep/14/trump-ally-laura-loomer-audio Trump ally Laura Loomer called herself ‘white advocate’, audio reveals], ''The Guardian'' (November 2022)

* Is the Deep State activating HAARP to disrupt the Iowa Caucus? We all know [[Nikki Haley]] has a lot of friends in the defense industry and Military industrial complex. She’s losing in Iowa, and now Iowa is set to get hit with a ONCE IN A DECADE blizzard as [[Donald Trump]] is set to dominate the Iowa Caucus. Is the [[Deep state|Deep State]] using HAARP to rig the Iowa Caucus? Looks like weather manipulation to me.
** Claimed about the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-frequency_Active_Auroral_Research_Program HAARP measuring instrument], operated by University of Alaska Fairbanks, used for doing research about the ionosphere above Alaska, quoted in [https://www.salon.com/2024/01/12/loomer-questions-if-haley-is-using-weather-manipulation-to-steal-caucus-from/ &quot;Loomer questions if Haley is using “weather manipulation” to steal caucus from Trump&quot;], ''Salon'' (January 12, 2024)
 
* They should get the [[Capital punishment|death penalty]]. You know, we actually used to have, the punishment for treason in this country.
** Said about Democrats, quoted in [https://www.villages-news.com/2024/06/02/loomer-calls-for-death-penalty-for-democrats-who-committed-treason/ &quot;Loomer calls for death penalty for Democrats who committed ‘treason’&quot;], ''Villages-News'' (June 2, 2024)

* The way they talk in their little DEI Shaniqua voices, and it's just very piercing, very irritating sound. They all have, they all have the same voice.  I'm talking about [[Kamala Harris]], Letitia James, and Fani Willis. Like, all of the, like, meritless DEI Shaniquas talk the same way. It's very obnoxious the way that they talk. They're very boisterous in the way that they, you know, talk in a very racist manner about white people, about getting Donald Trump. 
** [https://www.mediamatters.org/laura-loomer/trump-ally-laura-loomer-calls-kamala-harris-fani-willis-and-letitia-james-meritless &quot;Trump ally Laura Loomer calls Kamala Harris, Fani Willis, and Letitia James “meritless DEI Shaniquas”&quot;], ''Media matters'' (September 5, 2024)

* If @KamalaHarris wins, the White House will smell like curry &amp; White House speeches will be facilitated via a call center and the American people will only be able to convey their feedback through a customer satisfaction survey at the end of the call that nobody will understand.
** [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/marjorie-taylor-greene-laura-loomer-harris-india-b2611353.html &quot;Marjorie Taylor Greene slams Trump pal Laura Loomer for ‘extremely racist’ post about Kamala Harris&quot;], ''The Independent'' (London, September 12, 2024).

* Disturbing reports came out this weekend about Haitian immigrants eating people’s pets in Ohio where Democrats like @SenSherrodBrown and the Biden-Harris regime imported over &lt;b&gt;20,000 cannibalistic Haitians who are now killing people’s pets and hunting domestic animals on the streets of Ohio.&lt;/b&gt; 
** Claimed without providing evidence, quoted in [https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/who-is-laura-loomer-conspiracy-theorist-blamed-for-trumps-eating-pets-remark/ar-AA1qxC3I &quot;Who is Laura Loomer? Conspiracy theorist blamed for Trump's eating pets remark&quot;] ''MSN'' (September 14, 2024)

* [About Republican US Senator [[Lindsey Graham]]:]  When is Lindsay (sic) coming out of the closet? We all know you’re Gay, Lindsey.  There’s nothing wrong with Gay people.
** [https://www.metroweekly.com/2024/09/laura-loomer-to-lindsay-graham-we-all-know-youre-gay/ &quot;Laura Loomer to Lindsay Graham: “We All Know You’re Gay”&quot;], ''Metro Weekly'' (September 16, 2024)

*We must shut these lunatic leftists down. Once and for all. The left is a national security threat.
**[https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/sep/12/laura-loomer-charlie-kirk Trump ally Laura Loomer ridiculed for swinging from Charlie Kirk attacks to leading backlash against detractors], ''The Guardian'' (September 12, 2025)

== Quotes about Laura Loomer ==

* Laura Loomer is mentally unstable and a documented liar. She can not be trusted.
** [[Marjorie Taylor Greene]], U.S. representative for Georgia, quoted in [https://www.politico.com/minutes/congress/04-7-2023/mtgs-message-to-trump/ &quot;Marjorie Taylor Greene is publicly discouraging Donald Trump from hiring Laura Loomer for a campaign role — calling her &quot;mentally unstable and a documented liar.&quot;] ''Politico'' (April 7, 2023)

* The history of this person is just really toxic.  I mean, she actually called for Kellyanne Conway’s daughter to hang herself. 
** Republican Senator [[Lindsey Graham]], quoted in [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/laura-loomer-trump-graham_n_66e32519e4b0056e82917b22 &quot;'Disturbing': Lindsey Graham Says Trump Shouldn't Pal Around With 9/11 Conspiracy Theorist&quot;], ''HuffPost'' (September 12, 2024)

* I endorsed her first run for congress, donated to her, and fundraised for her and then she lost.
* Laura has lied so much about me and others like Matt Gaetz, even though we are Pres Trump’s most loyal and fierce elected Members of Congress.
* when it comes to post that are flat out racist, hateful, and make President Trump look bad, she needs to be responsible and delete them.
** [[Marjorie Taylor Greene]], quoted in [https://www.newsweek.com/maga-turning-laura-loomer-1953346 &quot;MAGA Is Turning against Laura Loomer&quot;], ''Newsweek'' (September 13, 2024).

* Laura Loomer — stand up, please, Laura. Great job you do. Great job. You want to try and have her on your side, right? The great Laura Loomer. Some of you know Laura. She's a fantastic person, a great woman. A friend of all of ours and a — this woman is amazing, Laura Loomer.
** [[Donald Trump]] (27 July  2024), as transcribed in [https://transcripts.cnn.com/show/cnc/date/2024-09-13/segment/02 &quot;CNN News Central&quot;], ''CNN'' (September 13, 2024)
** The &quot;cryptocurrency conference&quot;, mentioned in the CNN transcript, was in [https://www.nytimes.com/2024/07/27/us/politics/trump-bitcoin-crypto.html Nashville]. ''The Washington Post'' [https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2024/09/12/trump-presidential-campaign-laura-loomer/ partly quotes] the comments as &quot;Trump said during a July speech in Nashville&quot;. 

* I don’t control Laura. She’s a free spirit.&lt;br /&gt;She’s a supporter. She’s a person with strong opinions. [...] Lots of people ride on my plane. It's a big plane.
** [[Donald Trump]] at a press conference at his California golf club (13 September 2024), as cited in [https://www.ft.com/content/4da6a546-6d4b-472f-87d8-0ba9c353f68e &quot;Donald Trump re-election bid being derailed by far-right influencers, allies fear&quot;], ''Financial Times'' (13 September 2024)
** Loomer was seen leaving Trump's plane in Pennsylvania on 10 September before [[w:2024 United States presidential debates|the debate]] with [[Kamala Harris]], the Democrat's presidential candidate.

* Laura Loomer is a crazy conspiracy theorist who regularly utters disgusting garbage intended to divide Republicans. A DNC plant couldn’t do a better job than she is doing to hurt President Trump’s chances of winning re-election. Enough.
** Republican Senator [[w:Thom Tillis|Thom Tillis]], quoted in [https://www.thedailybeast.com/top-maga-republican-thom-tillis-calls-laura-loomer-disgusting-garbage &quot;Top MAGA Republican Calls Laura Loomer ‘Disgusting Garbage’&quot;], ''The Daily Beast'' (September 14, 2024)

* While the Republican Party represents a broad diversity of thought and opinions, it is critical that we do not allow the Democrats and mainstream media to have anyone’s comments — which are, at their core, bigoted and racist — speak on behalf of President Trump and other Republicans on the ballot.  We are glad to see President Trump make it clear that he disavows Laura Loomer’s offensive comments.
** Joint statement from U.S. Sen. Lindsey Graham, U.S. Sen. Thom Tillis and U.S. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, quoted in [https://www.metroweekly.com/2024/09/laura-loomer-to-lindsay-graham-we-all-know-youre-gay/ &quot;Laura Loomer to Lindsay Graham: “We All Know You’re Gay”&quot;], ''Metro Weekly'' (September 16, 2024)

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Loomer, Laura Elizabeth}}
[[Category:1993 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Conspiracy theorists]]
[[Category:Republican Party (United States) politicians]]
[[Category:Conservatives from the United States]]
[[Category:Women politicians in the United States]]
[[Category:Women activists from the United States]]
[[Category:Women journalists from the United States]]
[[Category:Islamophobes]]
[[Category:Nationalists]]
[[Category:Jews from the United States]]
[[Category:People from Tucson]]</text>
      <sha1>im2ev4qucd0rgtv1wfk97cwb7w82rx1</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>The Inbetweeners Movie</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>279312</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944124</id>
      <parentid>3943649</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T06:51:26Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-22475-30</username>
        <id>3310494</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <origin>3944124</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="14742" sha1="k965nmg6e0mmgrynpao3a5293unu2hr" xml:space="preserve">'''''[[w:The Inbetweeners Movie (2011)|The Inbetweeners Movie]]''''' is a is a 2011 British coming-of-age teen adventure comedy film based on the [[w:E4 (TV channel)|E4]] sitcom ''[[The Inbetweeners]]''. It was written by series creators [[w:Damon Beesley|Damon Beesley]] and [[w:Iain Morris|Iain Morris]] and directed by [[w:Ben Palmer|Ben Palmer]]

== Dialogue ==
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' I’m case you were wondering, that was me with my father. And this is where I live - not with him, but with my mother. It’s a long story. Well, not that long. He snagged the work experience girl and then left us. So, just clichéd, really. Plus, it only happened two years ago, which means I don’t even get the luxury of blaming my various personality defects on their divorce. Anyway, that’s how I ended up here - the very definition of suburbia. Safe, comforting, stifling, boring - and I couldn’t wait to fucking leave. Maybe that’s unfair, as they do say that you never know what goes on behind the net curtains of suburbia. Although, in my friend Jay Cartwright’s case, you can have a pretty good guess.
----
''(Neil is working behind the fish counter at a supermarket.)''
:'''Neil''': All right, Jay’s mum! Where’s Jay?
:'''Jay’s Mum''': Oh, hello, Neil. He’s at home, updating his CV. ''(Her phone rings)'' Hello? Ohh…
:'''Neil''': It’s a bit over, is that okay?
:'''Customer''': Not really.
''(Neil takes a few prawns away when he sees a clock on the wall behind him click over 6pm. He drops the prawns which scatter everywhere.)''
:'''Customer''': Excuse me! My prawns?
:'''Neil''': Sorry, mate, I finish at six.
''(He grabs the girl named Nicole and in full view of the customers they start snogging long and hard.)''
:'''Neil''': Cheers for that.
:'''Nicole''': You don’t have to thank me every time.
:'''Neil''': Oh, right. Cool. You’re so fit.
''(They start snogging hard again. The waiting customers look on disgusted. Eventually they break for air.)''
----
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' It was our last ever day of school, something my new stepmum had experienced only four years ago herself. So the head of Sixth was going to say a few inspirational words. And if ever there was a man for the job, it wasn’t lunatic giant Mr Gilbert.
----
:'''Will''': Slightly more upbeat than I was expecting.
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' They say your school days are the best days of your life. But the only way that would be true for me would be if I went straight from school to prison and stayed there forever until I died.
----
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' So, that was it. We were no longer schoolboys. And to prove our independence, we were off on the holiday of a lifetime without our parents… after we’d made them pay for it.
----
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' Dads are like arseholes. Everyone’s got one, yes, but also, they’re arseholes. Which is why they make excellent cab drivers.
----
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' I was learning a lot about holidays. And not just what they did to Mrs Cooper’s front bottom. I was also learning that on a lads’ holiday, it’s compulsory to wear “hilarious” matching T-shirts.
----
:'''Check in Woman''': Malia flight?
:'''Will''': Yep.
:'''Check in Woman''': Delay, seven hours. And please remove those T-shirts, or we won’t allow you to board the plane.
----
''(The boys walk down the coach. It’s not that busy, and in the middle are sat a group of nice looking girls.)''
:'''Neil''': Oi, Jay, Jay… Tidy minge, ten o’clock. Jay? Jay! Didn’t you see them girls? Why don’t you chirps ‘em?
:'''Jay''': Yeah, I can’t handle that many at once, Neil.
:'''Neil''': Really? What about that netball team?
:'''Jay''': Yeah, that was all right, cos that was a luxury caravan. But this coach is way too small for my moves.
:'''Neil''': Ah, course.
:'''Will''': Right, so, the plan is get to the apartment, unpack, get some sleep then head out fresh tomorrow. First up, the Minoan Palace at Knossos.
:'''Jay''': Have you come on a lads’ holiday by mistake?! We haven’t come halfway round the world to look at some boring fucking Greek ruins.
:'''Neil''': Yeah, you can see that shit anywhere.
:'''Jay''': Look, we get there, drop the bags off, then go straight out and get spasticated. Simples.
:'''Will''': But I’ve not slept for 37 hours.
:'''Simon''': So shut up and try and get some sleep on here, then.
:'''Will''': Fine, good idea.
----
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' When people now ask me if I like football, I say yes. I do like football. But not Burnley. Burnley can fuck off.
----
:'''Burnley Lads''': ''(singing)'' Oh, Burn-a-ley is wonderful!
''(The coach is stopped outside a shitty looking, half-finished five-storey concrete box, with no landscaping, just some brush. In the front, there’s a Greek Man smoking, pulling a wet dead dog out of a well. The boys look on, repulsed.)
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' It was a tense moment. Someone was obviously staying here.
:'''Holiday Rep''': Right then, McKenzie party. This is you.
''(Burnley Lads cheer uproariously)''
:'''Burnley Lad''': Good one, fellas! Don’t worry, it’ll look nice when it’s finished.
''(Will and the three boys slowly trudge off the coach)''
----
''(The boys enter their holiday apartment and wander around. It’s disgusting and has the kind of decor that it’s hard to break and cheap to replace.)''
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' As we entered our new home, wondering if our human rights had been breached, I couldn’t help thinking a shit on the floor might have cheered the place up a bit.
''(Will opens the door which is empty apart from half a can of dog food. Will and Simon then walk into the living area, which has a sofabed in it. They pull out the sofa bed, and it has huge light brown stain on a white sheet in the middle of it.)''
:'''Jay and Neil''': Shotgun this room!
:'''Simon''': Shotgun the sofa bed!
:'''Will''': Well, where am I gonna sleep, then?!
:'''Simon''': Not really my problem.
''(In the bathroom)''
:'''Neil''': What’s that? Is that the bath?
:'''Jay''': Course it’s not the bath, you fucking idiot. There’s the bath there! That’s the…kids’ toilet.
:'''Neil''': Is it?
:'''Jay''': Yes!
:'''Neil''': Why’s it got a plughole and a tap, then?
:'''Jay''': Cos it’s for checking your kid’s shit before you flush it.
:'''Neil''': Ugh, that’s grim!
:'''Jay''': Yeah, I know. That’s the Continentals, innit? They’re dirty.
''(Simon and Will walk in)''
:'''Simon''': See? ''(pointing at the bathtub)'' That looks nice!
:'''Will''': I’m not sleeping in a fucking bathtub for two weeks, Simon! We’ll have to share the sofa bed.
:'''Jay''': ''(High-pitched)'' Ooh, ‘ello! ''(Normal voice)'' Right, well, while you two decide who gets first go on each other’s cocks, I’m getting ready and getting out there. The gash isn’t gonna fuck itself, you know.
:'''Will''': Charming(!)
----
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' Finally, smelling like an industrial accident at the Lynx factory, and looking like the world’s shittest boy band, we hit the town.
----
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' While Simon was seeing Carli everywhere, Jay was seeing some very lucky ladies.
:'''Jay''': She’d get it.
:'''Neil''': Most definitely!
:'''Jay''': Oh, and that one. She’d get it! And that one! And that one.
:'''Neil''': And that one. She’d get it.
:'''Jay''': Right in the bumholey.
:'''Neil''': I can’t believe I’ve already got a bird. Gutted.
:'''Jay''': So fucking what?! All birds know - what goes on tour stays on tour.
:'''Neil''': No, I couldn’t do that to Nicole. I think I love her. And I never loved anything before apart from a car or a sandwich.
----
''(It is a massive and totally empty bar/club, with the exception of a lone barman wiping down glasses.)''
:'''Will''': Ah, interesting.
''(Jay peels off to the bar)''
:'''Neil''': Well, it must get going a bit later. She did say it was amazing.
:'''Will''': And why would she lie?!
''(They head over to the bar, Jay’s already ordering.)''
:'''Jay''': All right, mate. Four pints, four Jägermeisters and a fishbowl, please.
:'''Neil''': ''(To the Barman very slowly in shouted English)'' Hello. When it good here?
:'''Barman''': Sorry?
:'''Neil''': Er, when here party good?
:'''Barman''': ''(in English)'' In normally about an hour or two.
:'''Simon''': Oh. Well, as we’ve paid, maybe we should hang on, then?
:'''Barman''': But this year…never.
:'''Neil''': ''(Shouted still)'' Thanking you, very much.
:'''Simon''': Okay, let’s go.
:'''Jay''': Fuck off! My bird’ll be down in a minute.
:'''Will''': Do you mean the woman who’s clearly on commission to trick people into this empty bar?
:'''Jay''': No, I mean the little hottie outside I was flirting with.
:'''Will''': I’ll take that as a yes, then.
:'''Jay''': I’m going nowhere till she’s sucked me off!
:'''Simon''': So you’re going nowhere.
:'''Will''': Jay, we’re on holiday! I meant to be out there, trying to hit girls I think are beneath me but who, for their part, won’t give me the time of day! So, let’s go!
''(They go to leave, but stop dead when they see the four girls who were on the coach coming down the stairs.)''
:'''Neil''': Ooh! Hello, hello! It’s those little lovelies from the coach!
:'''Jay''': ''(indicating the larger girl)'' That one’s not so little.
:'''Simon''': I think they’re looking at us.
:'''Will''': And not in a weird, terrified, “leave us alone” way. Amazing!
:'''Simon''': Jay, you’re drunkest. Go over and talk to them.
:'''Jay''': Nah. Not me, mate. None of them are as fit as my one outside. Why go for hamburgers when you’ve got steak at home?
:'''Will''': If, like you, you have neither anywhere. It’s up to you, then, Si.
:'''Simon''': Oh, shit, really? I don’t know if I’m over Carli.
''(Jay slaps Simon in the nuts)''
:'''Simon''': Ow! Fuck! Can you stop that?!
:'''Jay''': Yes, I can. When you stop being such a pussy about your ex. It’s time to get back on the horse now, Si. And those little ponies need feeding. Feed the pony.
:'''Simon''': Yeah, okay, I’ll introduce us, but we’ve all got to go over there.
:'''Will''': Great.
:'''Jay''': You fucking sad cases. You don’t just walk up to a girl in a club and introduce yourself! That’s creepy. Clubs have different rules, you dick. Look, you dance over near them, make the eyes, then get ‘em to dance with you.
:'''Simon''': Really?!
:'''Will''': Annoyingly, that does sound right.
:'''Jay''': Thank you! And then, after a bit, you stand up to them, pretend to slap ‘em and fuck ‘em up the arse.
:'''Will''': That might be a bit much.
:'''Simon''': Yeah, I dunno.
:'''Neil''': Oh, fucking hell, I’ll do it.
:'''Will''': What about Nicole?
:'''Neil''': It’s only dancing, she likes my dancing. Stick with me, you’ll be fine.
:'''Will''': Right, then, Si. Looks like the holiday starts here.
----
:'''Will''': Am I doing it right? Am I in time?
:'''Simon''': Maybe a bit out, but not so you’d notice. Copy Neil.
----
:'''Neil’s Northern Bird''': ''(whooping)''
''(Will and Simon are asleep on the sofabed, Will under a horrible looking blanket. It’s early but the sun is up and daylight fills the room through the transparent curtains.)''
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' The next morning, I was woken up by what sounded like Bigfoot having an asthma attack.
''(He wakes up and notices the door to the bedroom is closed, but on the handle, he can see Neil’s white trilby hat.)''
:'''Will''': Simon… Simon!
:'''Simon''': Christ, it’s like a sauna in here. Have you got any water?
:'''Neil’s Northern Bird''': ''(still whooping)''
:'''Simon''': What the fuck is that noise?
:'''Will''': I think it’s Neil.
:'''Simon''': Oh, no, not the dinner lady from last night!
:'''Neil’s Northern Bird''': ''(Off-screen)'' Smooth me lover.
:'''Neil''': ''(Off-screen)'' I cannot understand a thing you say.
:'''Neil’s Northern Bird''': ''(Off-screen)'' Spunk all over me bastard tits.
:'''Neil''': ''(Off-screen)'' Oh, right.
:'''Will''': Well, it’s her or Johnny Vegas.
:'''Neil''': ''(Off-screen)'' Ooowww!
:'''Neil’s Northern Bird''': ''(Off-screen)'' Fucking smack it! Smack it, you little prick! ''(slaps)'' Is that all you’ve got?
:'''Neil''': ''(Off-screen)'' Shall I bite it?
:'''Will''': Interesting question.
:'''Simon''': This is beyond creepy.
:'''Neil’s Northern Bird''': ''(Off-screen)'' Bite it. Spit on it! Twist it right fucking off!
:'''Will''': Okay, I’m getting out of here!
:'''Neil’s Northern Bird''': ''(Off-screen)'' Harder!
''(As the noises continue, Will and Simon head onto the balcony)''
----
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' Unsurprisingly, the girls’ hotel was nicer than our hotel. There are North Korean prison camps which are nicer than our hotel. But, like a North Korean prison camp, it was overcrowded, so we had nowhere to sit.
:'''Neil''': What about there?
:'''Will''': They’ve got towels on them, Neil.
:'''Neil''': So?
:'''Will''': That means people have bagsied them. We can’t take those.
:'''Neil''': Fuck that!
''(Jay goes to move the towels off the beds.)''
:'''Will''': No, Jay, we can’t!
:'''Jay''': Watch me! It’s probably just a load of Kratus that got down early in the morning to reserve ‘em.
:'''Simon''': That towel’s got Finding Nemo on it.
:'''Jay''': Oh. What, so Nazis can’t like Disney too?
''(And with that, Jay grabs the towels and chucks them into the middle of the pool.)''
:'''Will''': Jay!
:'''Jay''': Besides, I really need a lie down. My head’s more fucked than Neil's dad’s arsehole.
:'''Will''': Jay, please!
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' Jay and Neil were off to, as they put it, “check out the chicas”. But I had a serious problem. In the absence of my mother, or a teacher, I needed help with my sunblock.
----
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' It was the day of the boat party, and it looked like literally everyone in Malia had a ticket. Well, everyone except me and Simon, whose mood was now bluer than his balls.

== Cast ==
* [[Wikipedia:Simon Bird|Simon Bird]] as Will McKenzie
* [[Wikipedia:James Buckley|James Buckley]] as Jay Cartwright
* [[Wikipedia:Blake Harrison|Blake Harrison]] as Neil Sutherland
* [[Wikipedia:Joe Thomas|Joe Thomas]] as Simon Cooper
* [[Wikipedia:Emily Head|Emily Head]] as Carli D’Amato
* [[Wikipedia:Laura Haddock|Laura Haddock]] as Alison
* [[Wikipedia:Tamla Kari|Tamla Kari]] as Lucy
* [[Wikipedia:Jessica Knappett|Jessica Knappett]] as Lisa
* [[Wikipedia:Lydia Rose Bewley|Lydia Rose Bewley]] as Jane

== External Links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:2011 films]]
[[Category:2010s British films]]
[[Category:2010s English-language films]]
[[Category:Films based on television series]]</text>
      <sha1>k965nmg6e0mmgrynpao3a5293unu2hr</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944145</id>
      <parentid>3944124</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T08:50:02Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-22475-30</username>
        <id>3310494</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Dialogue */</comment>
      <origin>3944145</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="15436" sha1="qrkxmv6r33463gn05pj4a6djqqi9797" xml:space="preserve">'''''[[w:The Inbetweeners Movie (2011)|The Inbetweeners Movie]]''''' is a is a 2011 British coming-of-age teen adventure comedy film based on the [[w:E4 (TV channel)|E4]] sitcom ''[[The Inbetweeners]]''. It was written by series creators [[w:Damon Beesley|Damon Beesley]] and [[w:Iain Morris|Iain Morris]] and directed by [[w:Ben Palmer|Ben Palmer]]

== Dialogue ==
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' I’m case you were wondering, that was me with my father. And this is where I live - not with him, but with my mother. It’s a long story. Well, not that long. He snagged the work experience girl and then left us. So, just clichéd, really. Plus, it only happened two years ago, which means I don’t even get the luxury of blaming my various personality defects on their divorce. Anyway, that’s how I ended up here - the very definition of suburbia. Safe, comforting, stifling, boring - and I couldn’t wait to fucking leave. Maybe that’s unfair, as they do say that you never know what goes on behind the net curtains of suburbia. Although, in my friend Jay Cartwright’s case, you can have a pretty good guess.
----
''(Neil is working behind the fish counter at a supermarket.)''
:'''Neil''': All right, Jay’s mum! Where’s Jay?
:'''Jay’s Mum''': Oh, hello, Neil. He’s at home, updating his CV. ''(Her phone rings)'' Hello? Ohh…
:'''Neil''': It’s a bit over, is that okay?
:'''Customer''': Not really.
''(Neil takes a few prawns away when he sees a clock on the wall behind him click over 6pm. He drops the prawns which scatter everywhere.)''
:'''Customer''': Excuse me! My prawns?
:'''Neil''': Sorry, mate, I finish at six.
''(He grabs the girl named Nicole and in full view of the customers they start snogging long and hard.)''
:'''Neil''': Cheers for that.
:'''Nicole''': You don’t have to thank me every time.
:'''Neil''': Oh, right. Cool. You’re so fit.
''(They start snogging hard again. The waiting customers look on disgusted. Eventually they break for air.)''
----
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' It was our last ever day of school, something my new stepmum had experienced only four years ago herself. So the head of Sixth was going to say a few inspirational words. And if ever there was a man for the job, it wasn’t lunatic giant Mr Gilbert.
----
:'''Will''': Slightly more upbeat than I was expecting.
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' They say your school days are the best days of your life. But the only way that would be true for me would be if I went straight from school to prison and stayed there forever until I died.
----
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' So, that was it. We were no longer schoolboys. And to prove our independence, we were off on the holiday of a lifetime without our parents… after we’d made them pay for it.
----
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' Dads are like arseholes. Everyone’s got one, yes, but also, they’re arseholes. Which is why they make excellent cab drivers.
----
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' I was learning a lot about holidays. And not just what they did to Mrs Cooper’s front bottom. I was also learning that on a lads’ holiday, it’s compulsory to wear “hilarious” matching T-shirts.
----
:'''Check in Woman''': Malia flight?
:'''Will''': Yep.
:'''Check in Woman''': Delay, seven hours. And please remove those T-shirts, or we won’t allow you to board the plane.
----
''(The boys walk down the coach. It’s not that busy, and in the middle are sat a group of nice looking girls.)''
:'''Neil''': Oi, Jay, Jay… Tidy minge, ten o’clock. Jay? Jay! Didn’t you see them girls? Why don’t you chirps ‘em?
:'''Jay''': Yeah, I can’t handle that many at once, Neil.
:'''Neil''': Really? What about that netball team?
:'''Jay''': Yeah, that was all right, cos that was a luxury caravan. But this coach is way too small for my moves.
:'''Neil''': Ah, course.
:'''Will''': Right, so, the plan is get to the apartment, unpack, get some sleep then head out fresh tomorrow. First up, the Minoan Palace at Knossos.
:'''Jay''': Have you come on a lads’ holiday by mistake?! We haven’t come halfway round the world to look at some boring fucking Greek ruins.
:'''Neil''': Yeah, you can see that shit anywhere.
:'''Jay''': Look, we get there, drop the bags off, then go straight out and get spasticated. Simples.
:'''Will''': But I’ve not slept for 37 hours.
:'''Simon''': So shut up and try and get some sleep on here, then.
:'''Will''': Fine, good idea.
----
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' When people now ask me if I like football, I say yes. I do like football. But not Burnley. Burnley can fuck off.
----
:'''Burnley Lads''': ''(singing)'' Oh, Burn-a-ley is wonderful!
''(The coach is stopped outside a shitty looking, half-finished five-storey concrete box, with no landscaping, just some brush. In the front, there’s a Greek Man smoking, pulling a wet dead dog out of a well. The boys look on, repulsed.)
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' It was a tense moment. Someone was obviously staying here.
:'''Holiday Rep''': Right then, McKenzie party. This is you.
''(Burnley Lads cheer uproariously)''
:'''Burnley Lad''': Good one, fellas! Don’t worry, it’ll look nice when it’s finished.
''(Will and the three boys slowly trudge off the coach)''
----
''(The boys enter their holiday apartment and wander around. It’s disgusting and has the kind of decor that it’s hard to break and cheap to replace.)''
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' As we entered our new home, wondering if our human rights had been breached, I couldn’t help thinking a shit on the floor might have cheered the place up a bit.
''(Will opens the door which is empty apart from half a can of dog food. Will and Simon then walk into the living area, which has a sofabed in it. They pull out the sofa bed, and it has huge light brown stain on a white sheet in the middle of it.)''
:'''Jay and Neil''': Shotgun this room!
:'''Simon''': Shotgun the sofa bed!
:'''Will''': Well, where am I gonna sleep, then?!
:'''Simon''': Not really my problem.
''(In the bathroom)''
:'''Neil''': What’s that? Is that the bath?
:'''Jay''': Course it’s not the bath, you fucking idiot. There’s the bath there! That’s the…kids’ toilet.
:'''Neil''': Is it?
:'''Jay''': Yes!
:'''Neil''': Why’s it got a plughole and a tap, then?
:'''Jay''': Cos it’s for checking your kid’s shit before you flush it.
:'''Neil''': Ugh, that’s grim!
:'''Jay''': Yeah, I know. That’s the Continentals, innit? They’re dirty.
''(Simon and Will walk in)''
:'''Simon''': See? ''(pointing at the bathtub)'' That looks nice!
:'''Will''': I’m not sleeping in a fucking bathtub for two weeks, Simon! We’ll have to share the sofa bed.
:'''Jay''': ''(High-pitched)'' Ooh, ‘ello! ''(Normal voice)'' Right, well, while you two decide who gets first go on each other’s cocks, I’m getting ready and getting out there. The gash isn’t gonna fuck itself, you know.
:'''Will''': Charming(!)
----
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' Finally, smelling like an industrial accident at the Lynx factory, and looking like the world’s shittest boy band, we hit the town.
----
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' While Simon was seeing Carli everywhere, Jay was seeing some very lucky ladies.
:'''Jay''': She’d get it.
:'''Neil''': Most definitely!
:'''Jay''': Oh, and that one. She’d get it! And that one! And that one.
:'''Neil''': And that one. She’d get it.
:'''Jay''': Right in the bumholey.
:'''Neil''': I can’t believe I’ve already got a bird. Gutted.
:'''Jay''': So fucking what?! All birds know - what goes on tour stays on tour.
:'''Neil''': No, I couldn’t do that to Nicole. I think I love her. And I never loved anything before apart from a car or a sandwich.
----
''(It is a massive and totally empty bar/club, with the exception of a lone barman wiping down glasses.)''
:'''Will''': Ah, interesting.
''(Jay peels off to the bar)''
:'''Neil''': Well, it must get going a bit later. She did say it was amazing.
:'''Will''': And why would she lie?!
''(They head over to the bar, Jay’s already ordering.)''
:'''Jay''': All right, mate. Four pints, four Jägermeisters and a fishbowl, please.
:'''Neil''': ''(To the Barman very slowly in shouted English)'' Hello. When it good here?
:'''Barman''': Sorry?
:'''Neil''': Er, when here party good?
:'''Barman''': ''(in English)'' In normally about an hour or two.
:'''Simon''': Oh. Well, as we’ve paid, maybe we should hang on, then?
:'''Barman''': But this year…never.
:'''Neil''': ''(Shouted still)'' Thanking you, very much.
:'''Simon''': Okay, let’s go.
:'''Jay''': Fuck off! My bird’ll be down in a minute.
:'''Will''': Do you mean the woman who’s clearly on commission to trick people into this empty bar?
:'''Jay''': No, I mean the little hottie outside I was flirting with.
:'''Will''': I’ll take that as a yes, then.
:'''Jay''': I’m going nowhere till she’s sucked me off!
:'''Simon''': So you’re going nowhere.
:'''Will''': Jay, we’re on holiday! I meant to be out there, trying to hit girls I think are beneath me but who, for their part, won’t give me the time of day! So, let’s go!
''(They go to leave, but stop dead when they see the four girls who were on the coach coming down the stairs.)''
:'''Neil''': Ooh! Hello, hello! It’s those little lovelies from the coach!
:'''Jay''': ''(indicating the larger girl)'' That one’s not so little.
:'''Simon''': I think they’re looking at us.
:'''Will''': And not in a weird, terrified, “leave us alone” way. Amazing!
:'''Simon''': Jay, you’re drunkest. Go over and talk to them.
:'''Jay''': Nah. Not me, mate. None of them are as fit as my one outside. Why go for hamburgers when you’ve got steak at home?
:'''Will''': If, like you, you have neither anywhere. It’s up to you, then, Si.
:'''Simon''': Oh, shit, really? I don’t know if I’m over Carli.
''(Jay slaps Simon in the nuts)''
:'''Simon''': Ow! Fuck! Can you stop that?!
:'''Jay''': Yes, I can. When you stop being such a pussy about your ex. It’s time to get back on the horse now, Si. And those little ponies need feeding. Feed the pony.
:'''Simon''': Yeah, okay, I’ll introduce us, but we’ve all got to go over there.
:'''Will''': Great.
:'''Jay''': You fucking sad cases. You don’t just walk up to a girl in a club and introduce yourself! That’s creepy. Clubs have different rules, you dick. Look, you dance over near them, make the eyes, then get ‘em to dance with you.
:'''Simon''': Really?!
:'''Will''': Annoyingly, that does sound right.
:'''Jay''': Thank you! And then, after a bit, you stand up to them, pretend to slap ‘em and fuck ‘em up the arse.
:'''Will''': That might be a bit much.
:'''Simon''': Yeah, I dunno.
:'''Neil''': Oh, fucking hell, I’ll do it.
:'''Will''': What about Nicole?
:'''Neil''': It’s only dancing, she likes my dancing. Stick with me, you’ll be fine.
:'''Will''': Right, then, Si. Looks like the holiday starts here.
----
:'''Will''': Am I doing it right? Am I in time?
:'''Simon''': Maybe a bit out, but not so you’d notice. Copy Neil.
----
:'''Alison''': So, do this place hire you out as some sort of avant-garde dance troupe to scare the customers off?
:'''Will''': No. I lost my mind and agreed to come here on holiday. What’s your excuse?
:'''Alison''': Sort of similar. I came out here earlier this summer and fell crazy in love with a gorgeous local, so now I’m back.
:'''Will''': Hilarious. Course you did. What was he, a barman or a waiter?
:'''Alison''': Waiter.
:'''Will''': Brilliant. Was he called Stavros?
:'''Alison''': Nicos.
:'''Will''': Too good. I bet he’s different to all the boys back home!
:'''Alison''': Yeah. He understands women, for one.
:'''Will''': I’m sure he does. Must get enough practice.
----
:'''Neil’s Northern Bird''': ''(whooping)''
''(Will and Simon are asleep on the sofabed, Will under a horrible looking blanket. It’s early but the sun is up and daylight fills the room through the transparent curtains.)''
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' The next morning, I was woken up by what sounded like Bigfoot having an asthma attack.
''(He wakes up and notices the door to the bedroom is closed, but on the handle, he can see Neil’s white trilby hat.)''
:'''Will''': Simon… Simon!
:'''Simon''': Christ, it’s like a sauna in here. Have you got any water?
:'''Neil’s Northern Bird''': ''(still whooping)''
:'''Simon''': What the fuck is that noise?
:'''Will''': I think it’s Neil.
:'''Simon''': Oh, no, not the dinner lady from last night!
:'''Neil’s Northern Bird''': ''(Off-screen)'' Smooth me lover.
:'''Neil''': ''(Off-screen)'' I cannot understand a thing you say.
:'''Neil’s Northern Bird''': ''(Off-screen)'' Spunk all over me bastard tits.
:'''Neil''': ''(Off-screen)'' Oh, right.
:'''Will''': Well, it’s her or Johnny Vegas.
:'''Neil''': ''(Off-screen)'' Ooowww!
:'''Neil’s Northern Bird''': ''(Off-screen)'' Fucking smack it! Smack it, you little prick! ''(slaps)'' Is that all you’ve got?
:'''Neil''': ''(Off-screen)'' Shall I bite it?
:'''Will''': Interesting question.
:'''Simon''': This is beyond creepy.
:'''Neil’s Northern Bird''': ''(Off-screen)'' Bite it. Spit on it! Twist it right fucking off!
:'''Will''': Okay, I’m getting out of here!
:'''Neil’s Northern Bird''': ''(Off-screen)'' Harder!
''(As the noises continue, Will and Simon head onto the balcony)''
----
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' Unsurprisingly, the girls’ hotel was nicer than our hotel. There are North Korean prison camps which are nicer than our hotel. But, like a North Korean prison camp, it was overcrowded, so we had nowhere to sit.
:'''Neil''': What about there?
:'''Will''': They’ve got towels on them, Neil.
:'''Neil''': So?
:'''Will''': That means people have bagsied them. We can’t take those.
:'''Neil''': Fuck that!
''(Jay goes to move the towels off the beds.)''
:'''Will''': No, Jay, we can’t!
:'''Jay''': Watch me! It’s probably just a load of Kratus that got down early in the morning to reserve ‘em.
:'''Simon''': That towel’s got Finding Nemo on it.
:'''Jay''': Oh. What, so Nazis can’t like Disney too?
''(And with that, Jay grabs the towels and chucks them into the middle of the pool.)''
:'''Will''': Jay!
:'''Jay''': Besides, I really need a lie down. My head’s more fucked than Neil's dad’s arsehole.
:'''Will''': Jay, please!
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' Jay and Neil were off to, as they put it, “check out the chicas”. But I had a serious problem. In the absence of my mother, or a teacher, I needed help with my sunblock.
----
:'''Will''': ''(voiceover)'' It was the day of the boat party, and it looked like literally everyone in Malia had a ticket. Well, everyone except me and Simon, whose mood was now bluer than his balls.

== Cast ==
* [[Wikipedia:Simon Bird|Simon Bird]] as Will McKenzie
* [[Wikipedia:James Buckley|James Buckley]] as Jay Cartwright
* [[Wikipedia:Blake Harrison|Blake Harrison]] as Neil Sutherland
* [[Wikipedia:Joe Thomas|Joe Thomas]] as Simon Cooper
* [[Wikipedia:Emily Head|Emily Head]] as Carli D’Amato
* [[Wikipedia:Laura Haddock|Laura Haddock]] as Alison
* [[Wikipedia:Tamla Kari|Tamla Kari]] as Lucy
* [[Wikipedia:Jessica Knappett|Jessica Knappett]] as Lisa
* [[Wikipedia:Lydia Rose Bewley|Lydia Rose Bewley]] as Jane

== External Links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:2011 films]]
[[Category:2010s British films]]
[[Category:2010s English-language films]]
[[Category:Films based on television series]]</text>
      <sha1>qrkxmv6r33463gn05pj4a6djqqi9797</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Runaway Brain</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>279512</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944166</id>
      <parentid>3922070</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T11:57:44Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-29741-45</username>
        <id>3323469</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944166</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3191" sha1="l3cyj9wurz6t5p95hctgfebbufk0bu9" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Runaway Brain|Runaway Brain]]''''' is a 1995 American animated [[w:comedy horror|comedy horror]] [[w:short film|short film]] produced by [[w:Walt Disney Feature Animation|Walt Disney Feature Animation]]. Featuring [[Mickey Mouse]], [[w:Minnie Mouse|Minnie Mouse]] and [[w:Daisy Duck|Daisy Duck]], the short centers on Mickey attempting to earn money to pay for an anniversary gifts for Minnie and Daisy. He responds to an advertisement to work for Doctor Frankenollie, only to find out that he is looking for a donor to switch brains with the monster he created. Featuring animation by animator [[w:Andreas Deja|Andreas Deja]], it was first released in 1995 attached to North American theatrical showings of ''[[w:A Kid in King Arthur's Court|A Kid in King Arthur's Court]]'' and in 1996 attached to international theatrical showings of ''[[A Goofy Movie]]''. It would be the final original ''Mickey Mouse'' theatrical animated short until ''[[w:Get a Horse!|Get a Horse!]]'' in 2013.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Dr. Frankenollie''': Dr. Frankenollie, at your service. You’re here for the job?
:'''Mickey Mouse''': Yeah. I mean, no. No.
:'''Dr. Frankenollie''': Don't be shy. It's not just a job. It's an adventure.
:'''Mickey Mouse''': I hate adventure!
:'''Dr. Frankenollie''': Perfect! You're hired. Let me introduce your coworker. I made him myself.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mickey Mouse''': ''[in Julius' body]'' I don't feel like myself. I... My gosh! I'm not myself. That crazy gizmo really worked. Doc, Doc, Doc, look, look, I changed my mind: I don't want the money, I want my old body back. Wait, stop! You, monster. Me, Mickey. Mickey Mouse. You know, Mickey Mouse. Just look in my wallet. You'll see. That's old. There’s me next to girlfriend Minnie.
:'''Julius''': ''[in Mickey's body]'' Minnie.
:'''Mickey Mouse''': ''[in Julius' body]'' Yeah. And they likes my body and my mind. In the same place, that is.
:'''Julius''': ''[in Mickey's body]'' Minnie. Minnie. Minnie!
:'''Mickey Mouse''': ''[in Julius' body]'' Stop, thief! Where are you going with my body? We gotta switch back our brains!
:'''Julius''': ''[in Mickey's body]'' Minnie.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mickey Mouse''': Hey, Julius. Let her go.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mickey Mouse''': Happy anniversary, Minnie.
:'''Minnie Mouse''': ''[giggles]'' You're so romantic.
:''[They kiss]''
:'''Julius''': ''[swimming]'' Minnie, Minnie!

==Voice cast==
* [[w:Wayne Allwine|Wayne Allwine]] - [[Mickey Mouse]]
* [[w:Russi Taylor|Russi Taylor]] - [[w:Minnie Mouse|Minnie Mouse]]
* [[Kelsey Grammer]] - Dr. Frankenollie
* [[w:Jim Cummings|Jim Cummings]] - Julius
* [[w:Bill Farmer|Bill Farmer]] - [[w:Pluto (Disney)|Pluto]]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Mickey Mouse &amp; Friends}}
{{Authority control}}
[[Category:1995 animated films]]
[[Category:1995 American animated films]]
[[Category:American animated short films]]
[[Category:American fantasy films]]
[[Category:science fiction films]]
[[Category:Films about mad scientists]]
[[Category:Mickey Mouse films]]
[[Category:Minnie Mouse films]]
[[Category:Daisy Duck films]]
[[Category:1990s English-language films]]
[[Category:Films about brain transplantation]]</text>
      <sha1>l3cyj9wurz6t5p95hctgfebbufk0bu9</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944167</id>
      <parentid>3944166</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T11:58:30Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-29741-45</username>
        <id>3323469</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* */</comment>
      <origin>3944167</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3162" sha1="4q8t56hlislihxz16gqsg8bwmmx42d4" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Runaway Brain|Runaway Brain]]''''' is a 1995 American animated [[w:comedy horror|comedy horror]] [[w:short film|short film]] produced by [[w:Walt Disney Feature Animation|Walt Disney Feature Animation]]. Featuring [[Mickey Mouse]] and [[w:Minnie Mouse|Minnie Mouse]], the short centers on Mickey attempting to earn money to pay for an anniversary gifts for Minnie and Daisy. He responds to an advertisement to work for Doctor Frankenollie, only to find out that he is looking for a donor to switch brains with the monster he created. Featuring animation by animator [[w:Andreas Deja|Andreas Deja]], it was first released in 1995 attached to North American theatrical showings of ''[[w:A Kid in King Arthur's Court|A Kid in King Arthur's Court]]'' and in 1996 attached to international theatrical showings of ''[[A Goofy Movie]]''. It would be the final original ''Mickey Mouse'' theatrical animated short until ''[[w:Get a Horse!|Get a Horse!]]'' in 2013.

== Dialogue ==
:'''Dr. Frankenollie''': Dr. Frankenollie, at your service. You’re here for the job?
:'''Mickey Mouse''': Yeah. I mean, no. No.
:'''Dr. Frankenollie''': Don't be shy. It's not just a job. It's an adventure.
:'''Mickey Mouse''': I hate adventure!
:'''Dr. Frankenollie''': Perfect! You're hired. Let me introduce your coworker. I made him myself.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mickey Mouse''': ''[in Julius' body]'' I don't feel like myself. I... My gosh! I'm not myself. That crazy gizmo really worked. Doc, Doc, Doc, look, look, I changed my mind: I don't want the money, I want my old body back. Wait, stop! You, monster. Me, Mickey. Mickey Mouse. You know, Mickey Mouse. Just look in my wallet. You'll see. That's old. There’s me next to girlfriend Minnie.
:'''Julius''': ''[in Mickey's body]'' Minnie.
:'''Mickey Mouse''': ''[in Julius' body]'' Yeah. And they likes my body and my mind. In the same place, that is.
:'''Julius''': ''[in Mickey's body]'' Minnie. Minnie. Minnie!
:'''Mickey Mouse''': ''[in Julius' body]'' Stop, thief! Where are you going with my body? We gotta switch back our brains!
:'''Julius''': ''[in Mickey's body]'' Minnie.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mickey Mouse''': Hey, Julius. Let her go.

&lt;hr width=50%&gt;
:'''Mickey Mouse''': Happy anniversary, Minnie.
:'''Minnie Mouse''': ''[giggles]'' You're so romantic.
:''[They kiss]''
:'''Julius''': ''[swimming]'' Minnie, Minnie!

==Voice cast==
* [[w:Wayne Allwine|Wayne Allwine]] - [[Mickey Mouse]]
* [[w:Russi Taylor|Russi Taylor]] - [[w:Minnie Mouse|Minnie Mouse]]
* [[Kelsey Grammer]] - Dr. Frankenollie
* [[w:Jim Cummings|Jim Cummings]] - Julius
* [[w:Bill Farmer|Bill Farmer]] - [[w:Pluto (Disney)|Pluto]]

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Mickey Mouse &amp; Friends}}
{{Authority control}}
[[Category:1995 animated films]]
[[Category:1995 American animated films]]
[[Category:American animated short films]]
[[Category:American fantasy films]]
[[Category:science fiction films]]
[[Category:Films about mad scientists]]
[[Category:Mickey Mouse films]]
[[Category:Minnie Mouse films]]
[[Category:Daisy Duck films]]
[[Category:1990s English-language films]]
[[Category:Films about brain transplantation]]</text>
      <sha1>4q8t56hlislihxz16gqsg8bwmmx42d4</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>The Boys (TV series)/Season 1</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>279711</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943863</id>
      <parentid>3938426</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:09:55Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* &quot;You Found Me&quot; [1.08] */</comment>
      <origin>3943863</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="90490" sha1="n5t13nd2mcnwl09pppvjtzaeg21duc9" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Season''' [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 1|1]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 2|2]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 3|3]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 4|4]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 5|5]]  [[The Boys (TV series)|Main]]
----
'''''[[w:The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]''''' is an American superhero television series developed by Eric Kripke for [[w:Amazon Prime Video|Amazon Prime Video]]. Based on the comic book of the same name by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson, it follows the eponymous team of vigilantes as they combat superpowered individuals who abuse their abilities.

===''&quot;The Name of the Game&quot;'' [1.1]===
:'''Robin Ward''': This is like when we started dating.
:'''Hughie Campbell''': I don’t think that’s–I don’t think that’s true.
:'''Robin''': Dude, I had to ask ''you'' out.
:'''Hughie''': Well, excuse me for waiting. Ever hear of chivalry?
:'''Robin''': Listen, this is about getting what you deserve. I’m killing myself at school because I think it’s gonna be worth it for both of us… You know, if we move in together.
:'''Hughie''': Wait, what? Wait… ''[stutters]'' Hey, what was that? What’d you just say?
:'''Robin''': Well, I mean, we can’t keep laying pipe at your dad’s place, trying to be all quiet, staring up at that dumb Billy Joel… ''[Hughie kisses her]'' poster.
:'''Hughie''': Hey, don’t you ever besmirch Billy Jo–
:''[Robin suddenly disappears. Wind blows and blood splashes on Hughie’s face in slow motion. Hughie then looks to his right and sees A-Train panicking and covered in blood.]''
:'''A-Train''': ''[quickly]'' I can’t stop. I can’t stop, I can’t stop, I can’t stop, I can’t stop! I can't stop! ''[runs off]''
:'''Hughie''': ''[pause]'' Robin?
:''[Hughie looks down and realizes he’s still holding Robin’s hands, but only her forearms remain]''
:'''Hughie''': Robin… Robin?! ROBIN!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Lawyer''': Look, I know you're upset. But we're just trying to help.
:'''Hughie''': Then say you're sorry.
:'''Lawyer''': Excuse me?
:'''Hughie''': I mean, you people say &quot;Our condolences&quot; and &quot;My sympathies&quot; and &quot;Our regrets&quot;, but nobody can look me in the fucking eye and say ''&quot;I'm sorry!&quot;''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Starlight, the new member of The Seven, is given a tour of Vought Tower by The Deep. They enter the main conference room.]
:'''Annie January/Starlight''': ''[looks at a chair at the head of the table]'' That’s his, isn’t it?
:'''The Deep''': Homelander’s? Yeah… but you’ll have your own soon. ''[pulls chair out]'' Here, come on. Give it a test drive. Come on. ''[pause; Annie stares at the chair and doesn’t move]'' Oh, you–you okay?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': It’s just… I used to stand in the mirror, pretending to be where I am right now.
:'''The Deep''': You know something? On my first day, I, uh… Well, I–I felt like a fraud. ''[Annie looks surprised]'' Yeah. But the good news is, everybody feels that way.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Thank you.
:'''The Deep''': And hey, we’re a team now. We’ll help each other out. I bet growing up, you had a poster of Homelander on your wall, huh?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': No, actually I… I don’t know. Homelander’s so… He’s like Jesus or something. If you wanna know the truth, I actually had a poster of you.
:'''The Deep''': What? Really?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Yeah, yeah.
:'''The Deep''': Oh.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I kinda… I kinda had a schoolgirl crush on you.
:'''The Deep''': Oh, my God.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Oh, God. I hope that’s not inappropriate to say.
:'''The Deep''': No, no, no. It’s not inappropriate at all. It’s just–It’s kinda wild.
:''[Annie looks out the window for a moment, then turns around and sees The Deep has pulled his pants down and begun masturbating]''
:'''The Deep''': What? I mean, you said you had a crush on me. I figured that, you know…
:''[Annie hurriedly walks away in shock and disgust]''
:'''The Deep''': Whoa, whoa, wh-wh-whoa. Hey, look. You're gorgeous. I'm not–I'm not talking about sex, just a little bit of pole-smoking. ''[Annie continues making her way out]'' Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. It's just a question of how bad you wanna be in The Seven.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[beat; turns around to face the Deep]'' Excuse me?
:''[Annie’s powers flare up, shattering some nearby screen monitors and flickering the lights]''
:'''The Deep''': Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey. Hey… Take it easy. Settle down. We’re just–We’re just talking. And look, I know that you’re powerful. I get it. Your powers are no joke. The thing is… I am number two around here. So, like, if I say so, you’d be out of here. Especially since you attacked me.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I what?
:'''The Deep''': Yeah, look. ''[gestures towards the broken screens and starts walking up to Annie]'' I mean, Iowa’s sweetheart–the Defender of Des Moines–just went psycho on The Deep. I mean, that… that could put you out of the business. Yeah, I mean, home to Mommy, tail tucked between your legs. Just think of all those kids. I mean, the kids… Those kids who look up to you, they’d just be shattered. That’s not what you really want, right? ''[brief pause]'' Or, we come together as a team. You and me, we just roll with the punches for, like, three minutes maybe. It’s not a big deal. And then you know what happens? All your dreams come true.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie is working at the video store late at night and sees a man holding a nanny cam teddy bear]
:'''Hughie''': You interested in a nanny cam? 'Cause we're actually running a special on that. Um, it's a pretty popular bear. There's cameras in the eyes.
:'''Billy Butcher''': Tell me, how many nannies shake their babies?
:'''Hughie''': Uh, I'm sorry?
:'''Butcher''': Y'know, a good hard shake. ''[shakes the bear]'' Like… Like tryin' to get ketchup out of a bottle. One percent? Less?
:'''Hughie''': I–I don't really know.
:'''Butcher''': ''[puts the bear down]'' Funny, that. They sell a billion dollars worth of that shit worldwide. Goes to show you, doesn't it? The bollocks people will believe if you get 'em scared enough.
:'''Hughie''': Cool. Cool, cool. Um, is there anything I can help you with today, or...?
:'''Butcher''': I'm not gonna piss you about, Hughie. I heard what happened to Robin.
:'''Hughie''': I'm–I'm sorry, who are you?
:'''Butcher''': She wasn't in the street. She was one step off the fuckin' curb, and you didn't take the payoff.
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. I said, who the hell are you? How do you know that?
:'''Butcher''': Name's Butcher. Billy Butcher. ''[takes out an FBI badge]'' Listen, I was thinkin' that, uh, you and me should have a little bit of a chat.
:''[Cut to Hughie and Butcher walking down a street in downtown Manhattan]''
:'''Hughie''': You’re a Fed? You don’t sound like a Fed.
:'''Butcher''': What, I can’t immigrate? There’s a giant green slapper with her arse in the harbour that says different.
:'''Hughie''': You don’t really look like one either.
:'''Butcher''': No? What do I look like?
:'''Hughie''': Like you’re starring in a porn version of The Matrix.
:'''Butcher''': Well, it’s all right there in black and white.
:'''Hughie''': Okay, uh, what exactly can I do for you?
:'''Butcher''': No, you got it all wrong, Hughie. It's what ''I'' can do for ''you.'' You see, you ain't alone, son. Happens a lot more than you think. Supes lose hundreds of people each year to collateral damage.
:'''Hughie''': No. C'mon, that would be all over the news. People would be screaming bloody murder.
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, look, there might be the odd mention of it every now and again, like with Robin, but there's a shit sight more that happens that just gets swept right under the rug.
:'''Hughie''': ...Why?
:'''Butcher''': Ain't it obvious? Movie tickets, merchandising, theme parks, video games. A multi-billion dollar global industry supported by corporate lobbyists and politicians on both sides. But the main reason that you won't hear about it... is because the public don't wanna know about it. See, people love that cozy feeling that Supes give 'em. Some golden cunt swoop outta the sky and save the day, so you don't gotta do it yourself. But if you knew half the shit they get up to... Ooh. Fuckin' diabolical. But that... is where I come in.
:'''Hughie''': Come in to... to do what?
:'''Butcher''': Spank the bastards when they get out of line.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Annie is sitting on a park bench and on the verge of tears after a phone call with her mother. Hughie is sitting a few feet away when he notices her.]''
:'''Hughie''': Um, excuse me. I’m sorry, are–are you okay? ''[Annie looks at him]'' Just seemed like a tough call. ''[pause; Annie doesn’t say anything]'' Sorry. I don’t mean to bother you.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': No. No, it’s okay. Uh… I’m fine. I’m just… I’m just having a bad day.
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, me too. Is it like a work thing or a life thing?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': It’s a work thing. You?
:'''Hughie''': Uh, life thing.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': You know how you have this image of yourself? Like, I thought I was strong, you know? Like, made of steel. A fighter. And then, I was faced with this horrible situation with this asshole, and… I just heard my mom’s voice in my head: “Keep smiling. The show must go on.” And I didn’t fight. And now, I just feel sick. Partly because I did it, but mostly because… it turns out I’m not who I thought I was. ''[beat]'' Oh! Oh, I’m… sorry. I–I didn’t mean to just dump all of that onto you.
:'''Hughie''': No, no, it’s totally fine that you dumped. Um, listen, do–do you like your job?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Oh, it’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted.
:'''Hughie''': And it’s a good job? Like, you’re not selling kids smack?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': No, it’s a great job. I could help a lot of people.
:'''Hughie''': Thing is, I... used to know this girl, and we used to go skating at Rockefeller, and I'd be on the side with this death grip on the rails. She would just charge headfirst into the middle of the rink. And she wasn't… good. Like, she fell… a lot, but she was never scared. And she always used to say, “Just 'cause you fall on your ass doesn't mean you have to stay there.” So you fell on your ass, you know? That's not who you are. So who are you?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[pause; smiles and shrugs]'' I’m a fighter. I’m gonna fight. Yeah, I’m gonna take that son of a bitch’s head clean off his body.
:'''Hughie''': Okay. Wow, that was… Okay. Cool. Little scary, but–but cool. ''[brief pause]'' I’m–I’m Hughie, by the way.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Annie. ''[shakes Hughie’s hand]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Butcher and Hughie are parked outside Vought Tower to carry out their plan]''
:'''Butcher''': There's fuck-all security to worry about. In fact, they're a bunch of Muppets. ''[holds up bug]'' And the metal detector won't pick this up. Right? And what they'll probably do is take you through the security, and then up into the boardroom. Sit down. Be nice, congenial. Then, real polite-like, tell 'em you're gonna take a fake shit. Go into the bog, take the bug out. Peel back the plastic bit to reveal the sticky side. Put the plastic bit in the bog. Flush it. Then, go back into the boardroom, sit down–big smiles–plant the bug underneath the table. Easy-peasy Japanesey. Bob's your uncle. That's that.
:'''Hughie''': That's that? That was–That was a lot! That–Hold on, can you just–Can you repeat it again? Just a little bit slower? Because I–
:'''Butcher''': Shh, listen.
:'''Hughie''': ''[deeply exhales]'' Fuck.
:'''Butcher''': Hughie, calm down, alright? This is like that scene in [[w:The Matrix|The Matrix]]. Now, you could take the fuckin' red pill, right? Spend the rest of your life jackin' off, cryin' into your chai tea green latte, what the fuck. Or you could take the blue pill. Or is it the red pill? Anyway, take the other pill and quit bein' a cunt.
:'''Hughie''': Which pill do you want me to take?
:'''Butcher''': Just quit bein' a cunt. That's what I'm sayin'.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Translucent''': So who are you? Fucking spy? For who, huh? You’re gonna fucking tell me, or I’m gonna smash your fucking scalp off! Who the fuck are you?!
:''[Translucent picks up a crowbar and holds it over Butcher. Hughie sneaks up behind him and grabs a live wire from the wall]''
:'''Butcher''': I’ll tell you who you are: A fuckin’ moron. “Translucent” doesn’t even mean “invisible.” It means “semi-transparent.”

===''&quot;Cherry&quot;'' [1.02]===
:''[Butcher brings his associate, Frenchie, along with Hughie to an abandoned restaurant, where they imprison Translucent]''
:'''Butcher''': What d'you think, Frenchie?
:'''Frenchie''': You just dropped the Moby fucking Dick of problems on my plate. That's what I think, okay? He can re-order the carbon on his skin into metamaterial. It's hard as diamonds. It's nearly impossible to penetrate.
:'''Butcher''': Alright, how 'bout we suffocate him?
:'''Frenchie''': Some Dominicans already tried this, way back in '07.
:'''Butcher''': And what happened?
:'''Frenchie''': They're all fucking dead. That's what happened.
:'''Butcher''': Alright, then, fuck it. Electrocution. We'll just increase the amps.
:'''Frenchie''': You already hit him with enough to drop a water buffalo, and look. Might knock him out. Doesn't seem to kill him, huh? No. We need to pierce the skin somehow.
:'''Butcher''': Well, how the hell are we gonna do that?
:'''Frenchie''': I don't know.
:'''Hughie''': You're gonna kill him?
:'''Butcher''': ''[pause; turns and stares at Hughie]'' We didn't bring him here for a fuckin' Happy Meal.
:'''Hughie''': I don't–I thought we'd question him or something. I don't know, you get a–you get a hold of someone this big–
:'''Butcher''': At Gitmo, we had to waterboard [[w:Khalid Sheikh Mohammed|Khalid Sheikh Mohammed]] 183 times over six months to get him to talk just once. Now, we ain't got six months. I doubt we've even got six hours.
:'''Hughie''': There are so many crazy things about what you just said. But right now, you're talking about randomly killing one of the most famous men on the planet. A goddamn national treasure. I mean… people tend to notice that kinda thing.
:'''Butcher''': And if we let him go, what do you think The Seven will do to us? Hmm? You can't get A-Train if you're a greasy smear on the pavement.
:'''Hughie''': I'm not a murderer.
:'''Butcher''': That's alright. I am.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Madelyn Stillwell''': Did you hear about the mayor of Baltimore?
:'''Homelander''': …Yeah. Yeah, heard his plane went down. Some sort of engine trouble.
:'''Stillwell''': Yeah, it's awful. I saw him on Tuesday. I had a meeting with him right here.
:'''Homelander''': Wow. Well, hug your kids, right? 'Cause you never know what might happen.
:'''Stillwell''': So true. You know what's interesting? The Deep told me–and only me–that there were scorch marks on the mayor's engine. Almost as if from two small, high-intensity beams roughly the width of human eyes.
:'''Homelander''': Say what you mean to say.
:'''Stillwell''': Your brand is hope, baseball, America, sunshine. You don't do vengeance.
:'''Homelander''': Madelyn, I heard him through the wall. He was blackmailing you.
:'''Stillwell''': I am the last person you need to save.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, but I did it for you!
:'''Stillwell''': I know, but did the timing occur to you? I have half the Senate Appropriations Committee coming tonight.
:''[Homelander scoffs and chuckles in disbelief for a moment, then sits down]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat]'' How did he even know about Compound V?
:'''Stillwell''': We are not going to talk about that.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, come on, Madelyn. You do not need to hide things from me. I love Vought as much as you do, and I can do more.
:'''Stillwell''': You can do more? You've already grossed $12.3 billion for us.
:'''Homelander''': Right. So the pricks on 82 can take all the fucking credit? Empty fucking suits with Cornell degrees? Come on! I'm the one who's out there, not them! I'm the one who–who knows the audience. Who knows what's ''good'' for this company!
:'''Stillwell''': I know. I hear you, I do. But what I need right now is I need you to charm the shit out of those congressmen.
:'''Homelander''': ''[glares at Stillwell]'' Right. 'Cause that's all I'm good for, huh? Smile, look pretty, say my lines. Whoop, whoop, whoop.
:'''Stillwell''': No, no. You just need to let me protect you.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, you're gonna protect me?
:'''Stillwell''': Mmm-hmm. ''[pause; touches Homelander's cheek]'' Gods are pure… and they're perfect. And they're above it all. And they need to stay that way.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Annie and The Deep are standing atop a dockside warehouse while they wait for robbers to arrive]''
:'''The Deep''': Oh, wow. What a surprise. A water crime. Fuck me running. I swear to God, they only call me when there's trouble at a dock. Or a river, or a lake, canal… a jetty. ''[chuckles]'' Fucking idiots. I could be doing so much more. But no, Vought just wants me to make my big pretty dives in the water and flash my fucking biceps for Instagram. I mean, sure, four million hits a day, but still. It's fucking demeaning. ''[pause; Annie is silent]'' What's your problem? You've had that pissy look on your face all night.
:''[The lights start flickering and buzzing around them]''
:'''The Deep''': Ooh, what? Is this about the other night again? ''[scoffs]'' Jesus Christ. ''[laughs]'' Cry me a fucking river, alright? I took my share of shit when I first got here, okay? Besides, you had a crush on me, remember?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': That gives you no right–''zero right''–to do what you did, you pathetic asshole!
:'''The Deep''': Hey, you shut your fucking mouth.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Or what? You'll sic a grouper on me?
:'''The Deep''': I'll tell everyone you're a psycho. I'll go to Homelander.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': No, you won't. See, I asked around. You're not number two around here. You're just the fish guy. Everyone thinks you're a joke. Me most of all. I cannot believe I fell for your crap.
:'''The Deep''': You stuck-up little–
:'''Annie/Starlight''': You ever touch me again… ''[her eyes light up]'' I will burn your eyes out. Understand me?

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie brings a glass of water to the room where an invisible Translucent is caged]''
:'''Hughie''': Hi. I thought you might be thirsty, so…
:''[He sets the glass down on the floor and opens a grate on the cage. Translucent doesn't react.]''
:'''Hughie''': Well, if you don't want it, I can always–
:'''Translucent''': No, I want it. Cheers.
:''[Translucent picks up the glass and drinks from it]''
:'''Hughie''': o listen, I need to ask you some questions about A-Train. When he burst through that woman the other day–Robin Ward. I–I need to know why. Where was he going? What was he doing?
:'''Translucent''': Why? What was she to you? Sister? Girlfriend? ''[pause; Hughie says nothing]'' Girlfriend. ''[sighs]'' That's what all this is about? Christ. What makes you think I know anything about it?
:'''Hughie''': I know you and A-Train were tight. You guys came up together.
:'''Translucent''': What are you, a fucking fan?!
:'''Hughie''': Listen… Those two guys in there, they wanna kill you, okay? So you give me something, maybe I can–
:'''Translucent''': What? Hold them off? 'Cause they hang on your every word. You're the big man around here.
:'''Hughie''': Okay, you don't wanna talk, don't talk. I tried. Good luck.
:''[As Hughie is about to leave the room, Translucent stops him]''
:'''Translucent''': Buddy, my superpower ain't invisibility. ''[pause; makes himself visible]'' You know that, right? It's reading people. Watching them when they think they're alone. I see people for who they really are. I see you too, pal.
:'''Hughie''': Right. ''[kneels down to eye level with Translucent]''  'Cause you know me so well, right?
:'''Translucent''': Yeah. I know you're trying your damnedest to be tough. It's a little adorable, but the truth is… you're terrified. Shitting in your tightie-whities 'cause you're in over your head, fucked. And you know it. Hughie, I even kinda feel for you. Your girl died, and we do crazy shit when we got broken hearts. But now every instinct is screaming at you to head for the hills, and you should listen to that instinct.
:'''Hughie''': Unless we kill you first.
:'''Translucent''': How? I got invulnerable skin. I'm a fucking superhero, guy. We fight gangs and terrorists. We save the world daily. I've stood in front of thousands of screaming fans, all of them creaming their jeans. …Who are you? A water balloon filled with blood and meat. Homelander's gonna find me, and when he does, he's gonna burst you wide open. I'm gonna make it home in time for cocktails. 'Cause that's who you are, and that's who I am. You're not the hero of this story, and I'm not the one who's trapped.
:'''Hughie''': ''[beat]'' Well, good luck. I tried.
:'''Translucent''': Great chat. Run for the hills, Hughie.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Anika''': Homelander. Um… Welcome to Crime Analytics. Would you like a Red Bull?
:'''Homelander''': Have you found Translucent yet?
:'''Anika''': Uh, no. But security's on it.
:'''Homelander''': He's been missing over 24 hours. Is he in danger?
:'''Anika''': Um…
:'''Homelander''': Do you even know? ''[pause; Anika says nothing]'' Forget it. I'll find him myself. What's his last known position, please?
:'''Anika''': Why don't I just call Ms. Stillwell.
:'''Homelander''': No. No, no, no, no, no. You're talking to me.
:'''Anika''': Well, I'm not sure I'm supposed to be talking to you.
:'''Homelander''': What's your name?
:'''Anika''': Anika, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Anika. That's a beautiful name. Listen, Anika. I'm the Homelander, and I can do whatever the fuck I want, okay? ''[pushes Anika's chair in]'' Now, ''[sternly]'' Translucent's last known position. ''Please.''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Translucent''': What the...? Something doesn't feel right.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, I'll bet.
:'''Frenchie''': I'm not ashamed to admit I have outdone myself. ''[to Translucent]'' Now, the problem is the skin, no? It's hard like diamonds. But then I realized, it is just your shell that is hard, huh? Like a turtle. But your insides, they're like the rest of ours: Soft. So, how do you get to the squishy insides? Through the mouth? ''Non.'' The stomach acid, the gag reflex… if I stick something down your throat, you may vomit it up. There's truly only one way.
:'''Translucent''': The fuck did you do to me?
:'''Butcher''': He stuck a lump of plastique up your bum, son.
:'''Frenchie''': Ass bomb.

===''&quot;Get Some&quot;'' [1.03]===
:''[Annie meets with some marketing people, along with Stillwell and Ashley]''
:'''Ashley''': This is Seth and Evan from marketing.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Hi.
:'''Ashley''': They have some brilliant ideas on how to capitalize on all the buzz. Gentlemen?
:'''Seth''': Okay. Now, small-town Iowa girl–unexpected child prodigy–is chosen for The Seven.
:'''Evan''': Destiny knocks on the girl next door's door, and she answers, to fight for truth and justice side by side with her heroes.
:'''Seth''': The Big Apple is rough, tumble. It's got worms. Muggers and rapists and thieves, oh, my! Dorothy is not in Kansas anymore!
:'''Evan''': Or Iowa. Poor girl gets knocked around by something fierce. Kicked while she's down.
:'''Seth''': So what does she do? Does she cry in her milk? Does she quit?
:'''Evan''': No way!
:'''Seth''': She adapts! She transforms!
:'''Evan''': Embraces her feminine strengths!
:'''Seth''': Good-bye, Yellow Brick Road!
:'''Evan''': And hello, Starlight!
:''[A fashion designer, Isadora, pulls back the fabric to show a new Starlight outfit, which is a skimpier version of her old one]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I can't wear that.
:'''Isadora''': What?
:'''Ashley''': Why not? It's beautiful.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Seriously? It's just… It's not me.
:'''Isadora''': I designed Homelander's suit. This isn't my first rodeo.
:'''Seth''': You're wrong. It's totally you. It's bold, it's brave, it's feminist.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': How is that feminist?
:'''Evan''': It's empowering. It says you're confident in your own skin, and you're not afraid to show it.
:'''Seth''': Most importantly, it tells the story. Of your transformation. Of what you're going through.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': How exactly do you know what I'm going through, exactly? I'm sorry. I–I appreciate the effort. I really do, but I'm fine with my old outfit.
:'''Stillwell''': We're not.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Excuse me?
:'''Stillwell''': Starlight, like I said before, this is a partnership. In a partnership, there is give and there is take.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': It's my body. I have the right to choose how much of it I show.
:'''Stillwell''': That is true. You do. You just won't be doing it in The Seven, unless it is wrapped in that.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Butcher recruits his old partner, Mother's Milk, to the team. M.M. and Frenchie immediately tense up when they see each other]''
:'''Frenchie''': Oh, no…
:'''Mother's Milk''': Motherfucker!
:''[They both approach each other with knives. Butcher gets in between them.]''
:'''Hughie''': Butcher, who is this guy?!
:'''Butcher''': You'll give the game away!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Not until this frog gets what's coming.
:'''Frenchie''': The only thing that is coming is me on your mother's titties!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Let me throw it at him, bitch!
:'''Butcher''': Hey!
:'''Mother's Milk''': We had an agreement about him.
:'''Butcher''': We agreed to put a pin in it, alright?
:'''Frenchie''': What agreement?!
:'''Mother's Milk''': There was no pin! I don't trust this French whore!
:'''Frenchie''': I am more American than you, you racist piece of shit!
:'''Hughie''': Why are they fighting?!
:'''Butcher''': Nothing! It is water under the bridge!
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[to Frenchie]'' You tell that to Mallory's grandkids. Tell ''them'' it's water under the bridge.
:'''Frenchie''': That wasn't my fault.
:'''Hughie''': Who is Mallory?
:'''Butcher''': Alright, the both of you, knock it on the head, now!
:''[The standoff is interrupted by a cell phone ringing]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': …Shit! ''[answers phone]'' Hey, Monique. How you doin', baby? Ooh, I forgot to marinade the tilapia. I am so sorry, sweetheart. ''[pause]'' Okay, how 'bout this? How about on my way home from work, I stop by DeLuca's, pick up two fat tenderloins, some portobello mushrooms, that pinot that you love so much. Yeah, baby. Okay, I–I gotta go. Alright, sweetheart. Yeah. Me, too. …Baby, I just–Uh, you're right. You're right. I love you, too. Okay. Bye.
:''[Mother's Milk makes kissing noises and hangs up. Frenchie and Butcher burst out laughing]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Fuck all of ya'll, okay?
:'''Butcher''': Alright, alright. ''[to M.M. and Frenchie]'' Listen, you two knobbers kiss and make up, yeah? We got a fuckin' job to do.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mother's Milk''': Who's this guy?
:'''Butcher''': The new lad, Hughie. Hughie, Mother's Milk.
:'''Hughie''': That's a... nickname?
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[sarcastically]'' No, my mother actually named me &quot;Mother's Milk&quot;.
:'''Hughie''': Did–Did she?
:'''Mother's Milk''': So we got a French whore and a Stephen fucking Hawking. Great job, Butcher.
:'''Butcher''': Well, it was Stephen fuckin' Hawking who dusted the Supe.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mother's Milk''': So Translucent, huh? How the fuck did you pull that off?
:'''Hughie''': I don't know. Just lucky, I guess.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Still… Must've been scary.
:'''Hughie''': You wanna know what's really messed up? It's, uh, in some ways just right in that moment, it felt kinda good.
:'''Mother's Milk''': It's written all over your face, Hughie.
:'''Hughie''': What? How can you tell?
:'''Mother's Milk''': 'Cause I know how this job makes me feel.
:'''Hughie''': When I had that detonator in my hand, I felt like a–I felt like a rush.
:'''Mother's Milk''': I get it.
:'''Hughie''': Like, I felt alive.
:'''Mother's Milk''': But that rush, Hughie, is no different than the shit A-Train shoots up. Everything comes with a price.
:'''Hughie''': ''[beat]'' The last thing I ever said to Robin… was, &quot;Don't you ever besmirch Billy Joel.&quot; That was the last thing that she heard before she burst into pieces. And I gotta live with that shit for the rest of my life. ''[pause]'' The price… Whatever it is, I'll pay it.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Let's hear it for my buddy A-Train! Am I right?
:''[Homelander waves at the cheering crowd]'' 
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs; under his breath]'' Alright... You fucking cocksuckers.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie and Annie sit down together after he finds out that she's Starlight]''
:'''Hughie''': This is just so weird. I mean, the other day–Was it three days ago?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Hughie''': You just seemed like… You seemed so normal, you know? And now, it's just–
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Now I'm a freak.
:'''Hughie''': No. No, not–No, that's not what I meant at all. I just meant–I just wasn't getting [[w:Beyoncé|Beyoncé]] vibes, but… ''[Annie laughs]'' Not that you don't have that–
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I'm messing with you.
:'''Hughie''': Okay.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': You know… it was really nice to talk to someone who didn't know who I was. Once you're behind the scenes, it's… it's different.
:'''Hughie''': Like how?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I don't know if they really want you to be a hero. I think they just want you to look like one.
:''[Hughie turns off his radio so Butcher doesn't eavesdrop on their conversation]''
:'''Hughie''': The other day on the bench when you were talking about how much you hated your job, you meant… you meant this job? ''[Annie nods]'' Then, um… Just quit. Just walk away. I mean, you got nothing to prove.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[beat]'' I should probably get back, you know, before they send a search party for me.
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, totally. Um, listen, Annie… Starlight? What do you, uh–
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Annie.
:'''Hughie''': This is insane, but uh–I know you're you and everything, but if you ever just wanted to, you know, get–
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Would you like my number?
:'''Hughie''': ''[pause]'' Yeah. Yeah, that's–that's, uh… That's what I was asking.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Okay.
:'''Hughie''': Do I call you, or do I just commit a crime?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Probably committing a crime would get me to you quicker.

===''&quot;The Female of the Species&quot;'' [1.04]===
:'''Butcher''': Remind me, what was our deal?
:'''Popclaw''': What?
:'''Butcher''': What was our fuckin' deal?
:'''Popclaw''': Go to hell. I already told you, A-Train runs the Compound...
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, runs the Compound V to the noodle shop up on Division. We've been up on it all week and we ain't seen fuck all.
:'''Popclaw''': Well, wherever he's going, it's around there. Because every time he leaves with the V, he comes back with the sesame noodles! That's all I know!
:'''Butcher''': Well, you'd better be right, love, or you and your dearly departed landlord are gonna find yourselves on Pornhub in the fatal cunnilingus section.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Butcher meets up with the rest of the Boys after Frenchie frees the Female from her armed captors. He inspects a Compound V needle that M.M. found]''
:'''Butcher''': So A-Train's runnin' it here, and these blokes are dosin' the Asian bird with it.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Yeah, back when they had eyeballs.
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, but why? Is it a Vought thing or, like, a side hustle?
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shows Butcher a paper bag]'' Came gift-wrapped in this.
:'''Butcher''': Find out where it came from.
:'''Mother's Milk''': I'll shake a few trees.
:'''Butcher''': Why the hell were they dosin' her?
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[points at Frenchie]'' Why don't we ask Foie Gras over here? He's the one that let her out.
:'''Frenchie''': She looked innocent.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Innocent? She's locked up in a cage underground with two armed guards?
:'''Frenchie''': I had a feeling about her.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Nah, Frenchie. You just didn't follow the plan. You never follow the plan, man.
:'''Frenchie''': You need to unclench your asshole.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You need to ''eat'' my clenched asshole.
:'''Butcher''': Why are you two carryin' on like a bunch of fuckin' twats? We're sniffin' down a shit sandwich the size of [[w:Watergate scandal|Watergate]]. Vought and the Supes are both gonna be lookin' for her. All we gotta do is find the Female first.
:''[Butcher notices Hughie looking at his phone]''
:'''Butcher''': Keep lookin'. ''[to Hughie]'' Who's that, then, eh?
:'''Hughie''': It's nobody.
:''[Butcher gestures for Hughie to hand him his phone. He scrolls through Hughie's text messages.]''
:'''Butcher''': &quot;Annie?&quot; Starlight?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, it's nothing. I mean, we were supposed to go on a date. Not a date. Just, she asked me if I wanted to ask her for her number, and then we just kinda platonically exchanged information, but the… the word &quot;date&quot; was never mentioned.
:'''Butcher''': Call her back right now. You're fuckin' goin'.
:'''Hughie''': As a rule, I don't usually go out after a gory massacre.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, here's the job. You're gonna hot mic her phone. From now on, we hear everything she says. I mean, this is a golden opportunity. And after all you done, piece of cake.
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, she's not a… She's not a bad person.
:'''Butcher''': She's a Supe, Hughie. Just like the fuckin' rest of them.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Trans-Oceanic Flight 37 has lost both pilots after Homelander and Queen Maeve kill the last of the hijackers]''
:'''Queen Maeve''': Can you fly a plane?
:'''Homelander''': ''[shakes his head]'' Wouldn’t matter if I did. ''[points at the destroyed control board]''
:'''Queen Maeve''': What do we do?!
:''[Homelander just aimlessly looks around and walks out of the cockpit]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[to the passengers]'' Alright, everyone, remain calm. Stay in your seats. Everything’s under control. ''[gives thumbs-up]''
:'''Queen Maeve''': You’ve gotta go out there. Lift the plane up.
:'''Homelander''': Lift the plane? How? Th–There’s nothing to stand on; it’s fucking air. 
:'''Queen Maeve''': I don’t know, fly at it! Ram it straight!
:'''Homelander''': You know, at that kind of speed, either the plane goes ass over tit, or I’ll punch straight through the hull or–
:''[The plane dips into a nosedive. Oxygen masks to deploy, which sends everyone into a panic]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[to the passengers]'' Whoa! That was a big one! Everything’s fine, don’t worry about it! 
:'''Queen Maeve''': ''[pause; Homelander glares at her]'' Okay. Okay, you take everyone one by one. You fly them to the ground.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs]'' And what, come back 123 times? Maeve, think.
:''[Maeve realizes to her horror that Homelander has no intention of saving the passengers]''
:'''Homelander''': We’re done here. 
:'''Queen Maeve''': Please!
:'''Homelander''': ''[to the passengers]'' Everything’s fine, guys. Everything’s fine. You’re okay.
:'''Female Passenger #1''': Wait, you’re leaving us?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no, no. I’m just seeing something down the back. 
:'''Female Passenger #2''': Oh, my God. You’re leaving! He’s leaving us! 
:'''Homelander''': I said I’m not. 
:''[The plane turns on its side. Everyone panics even harder.]''
:'''Little Girl''': Homelander, are you gonna save us?
:'''Homelander''': Oh, sweetheart, of course I’m gonna save you! You betcha! I’m gonna save everyone here. Don’t worry about it. 
:''[Maeve looks around in dismay as the passengers continue freaking out]''
:'''Homelander''': Maeve! 
:''[Homelander heads to the back of the plane and breaks the emergency door open. Maeve sees a mother with her daughter and tries to save them.]''
:'''Queen Maeve''': Okay, you two. Take off your masks. Come on! Now! ''[to Homelander]'' Take these two!
:'''Homelander''': No, no!
:'''Queen Maeve''': Just these two, please! 
:'''Homelander''': No! What, so they can tell the world we left the rest of them to fucking die?! 
:'''Queen Maeve''': Come on!
:'''Homelander''': No, Maeve! ''[to several passengers trying to escape]'' No, you stay back! ALL OF YOU, STAY BACK! ''[activates laser eyes]'' '''YOU STAY THE FUCK BACK OR I’LL LASER YOU, GODDAMMIT!! ''I’LL LASER EVERY FUCKING ONE OF YOU!'''''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mother's Milk''': So where's the girl, Frenchie? Since you're the psycho chick whisperer all of a sudden.
:'''Frenchie''': Maybe subway. Maybe she wants to find a train, no?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Oh, yeah? How deep up your ass did you pull that out?
:'''Frenchie''': Well, it depends. How deep does your tongue go?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Listen, you lost her, man. We had orders, we're supposed to follow them. We're professionals and we count on each other, but you're on some fucking Bohemian flaky drug shit. Even Hughie–who's a fucking white [[w:Steve Urkel|Urkel]]–is more professional than you.
:'''Frenchie''': I understand it's hard for someone who's anally OCD to understand.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Okay, then help me understand, Frenchie. What happened the night that Mallory had you tail Lamplighter?
:'''Frenchie''': Oh, that's enough!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Mallory was our boss, man. We had orders. And you were supposed to follow him. You were supposed to follow Lamplighter, tail him, but you let him go!
:'''Frenchie''': I didn't know.
:'''Mother's Milk''': And Lamplighter goes and ''torches'' Mallory's grandkids!
:'''Frenchie''': I didn't know!
:'''Mother's Milk''': It doesn't matter! You didn't follow orders and it cost some lives!
:''[Frenchie punches M.M. in the face, causing a brief scuffle. Butcher quickly intervenes.]''
:'''Butcher''': Hey! Hey, knock it off! Knock if off!
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know what? Fuck this, Butcher. And fuck you! I'm done!
:'''Butcher''': M.M., wait!
:'''Mother's Milk''': You said this time would be different. ''[gestures to Frenchie]'' But this motherfucker's still here doing the same old shit! And we're all gonna fucking end up like Mallory!
:'''Frenchie''': Yeah, fuck off. ''[throws his fist in the air as M.M. walks off]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Fuck this. 
:'''Butcher''': Oi, both of you! M.M! 
:'''Mother's Milk''': What?
:'''Butcher''': What's [[w:Melanie C|Sporty Spice]] up to?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Who?!
:'''Butcher''': Sporty fuckin' Spice. What is she up to?
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[pause; walks back up to Butcher]'' I don't know.
:'''Butcher''': Exactly. ''[to Frenchie]'' How 'bout [[w:Victoria Beckham|Posh]]? You know what she's doin'?
:'''Frenchie''': I don't understand.
:'''Butcher''': Makin' clothes for anorexics, alright? Not exactly a growth market. And [[w:Emma Bunton|Baby]]? You know what she's doin'? Fuck all. Not even page six of the ''Daily Mail''. And [[w:Mel B|Scary Spice]]? Up to her eyeballs in lawsuits and sex tapes. [[w:Geri Halliwell|Ginger]], on the other hand, has released three albums: ''Passion'', ''Schizophrenic'', and ''Scream If You Want To Go Faster''. They'll all make your ears bleed. You see, when they're apart, they're absolute fuckin' rubbish. But you put 'em together… They're the goddamn fuckin' [[w:Spice Girls|Spice Girls]].
:'''Mother's Milk''': How do you know so much about the Spice Girls?
:'''Butcher''': Look, the point… is that we're all shite by ourselves. We need each other. We need each other, or we're fuckin' dead in the water. Now, you guys can beat the livin' fuckin' shit out of each other. I really don't care. It ain't gonna change the past. ''[takes gas canister from Frenchie]'' What d'you say we go find that dirty little bitch, gas her arse, and get the fuck outta here?
:''[Frenchie and M.M. exchange confused looks with each other as Butcher walks away]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Jesus, he gives the worst pep talks.
:'''Frenchie''': He really, really does.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander and Queen Maeve solemnly watch the floating plane wreckage wash up on the beach]''
:'''Reporter #1''': Once again, the horrific wreckage of Trans-Oceanic Flight 37 just beginning to wash up on shore. Every passenger onboard presumed dead.
:'''Homelander''': …They didn't have to die.
:''[The reporter motions for the camera crew to follow him and he approaches Queen Maeve and Homelander]''
:'''Reporter #1''': We have Homelander and Queen Maeve on the scene. ''[to Homelander]'' Do you have a comment?
:'''Homelander''': I said they didn't have to die. We arrived three minutes after the plane went down. And why? Because we're not in the chain of command. If NORAD called us before they scrambled jets, then we could've saved them. One hundred and twenty-three men, women and children. ''[tearfully]'' Excuse me.
:''[Homelander starts crying and takes a deep breath]'' 
:'''Homelander''': But if they let us into the military, then this will never happen again. That is my solemn promise to you. Right, Maeve? ''[pause; Maeve just nods]'' Talk to your congressmen. Talk to them. They'll listen to the people. And together… Together, we will make sure that this never happens to our great nation ever again! God bless you! God bless America!
:''[All the reporters start applauding and cheering for Homelander]''
:'''Reporter #2''': We hear you, Homelander! 
:'''Homelander''': And I hear you, brother! I hear ''you!'' And the world hears you! And very, ''very'' soon, my friend, whoever did this to us WILL HEAR FROM ALL OF US!
:''[Maeve shakes her head while Homelander salutes the reporters chanting his name]''

===''&quot;Good for the Soul&quot;'' [1.05]===
:'''Hughie''': $15,000 for an exclusive VIP experience with Ezekiel. Seriously? There's not an easier, cheaper way for us to get to him?
:'''Butcher''': We ain't gettin' to Ezekiel. You are.
:'''Hughie''': I am? 
:'''Mother's Milk''': Whoa, wait. What?
:'''Butcher''': Well, Starlight's one of the headliners, right? She'll get you in.
:'''Hughie''': Whoa. Look, we've only been on, like, a date and a half, okay? I can't just ask her for a diamond club pass.
:'''Butcher''': ''[takes off sunglasses]'' What's the matter? You worried your fake Supe girlfriend's gonna think you're usin' her?
:'''Hughie''': Okay, then what? I just go up to Ezekiel, &quot;Hey, man. What's up with you smuggling blue dope into Chinatown basements?&quot;
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, pretty much. Once you show him this.
:''[Butcher shows Hughie a video of Ezekiel making out with two men at the Supe nightclub]''
:'''Hughie''': Jesus. ''[pause]'' This is from that club you took me to?
:'''Butcher''': You remembered our first night together. I'm touched.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Okay, why is this the first time I'm hearing about this plan? This kid needs to be trained up, Butcher.
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. Yeah, what he said. I–I don't know how to blackmail anybody.
:'''Butcher''': Hughie, you've done a murder. Comparatively speakin', this'll be a piece of cake.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Pastor''': I'm–I'm not really sure what you're saying, son.
:'''Butcher''': I'm sayin' that if there is some geezer up there with a big white beard, he's a world heavyweight cunt.
:'''Mother's Milk''': What? 
:'''Pastor''': I–I'm sorry, did you just call God a c-word?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah. He's got a hard-on for mass murder and givin' kids cancer, and his big 'ol answer to the existential clusterfuck that is humanity is to nail his own bleedin' son to a plank. That is a cunt move. Come on, even you gotta agree with me here.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hey, hey, hey. Please…
:'''Butcher''': We should lob a fuckin' nuke at him, get it over and done with. Y'know what I'm saying?
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[to the pastor]'' We're sorry, sir. We apologize. ''[to Butcher]'' My man…
:'''Butcher''': Alright. Good talk. Think about it. I'm here all day, alright?
:''[Butcher and Mother's Milk walk away to a less populated area]'' 
:'''Mother's Milk''': You mind pipin' it down just a little bit, huh?
:'''Butcher''': Oh, I'm sorry. Didn't mean to offend your inner black Baptist mum shoutin', &quot;Praise the Lord.&quot;
:'''Mother's Milk''': Fuck you. I'm Episcopalian. And there's nothing wrong with havin' a little church up in you, you know?
:'''Butcher''': Said the bishop to the nun. What about you, Hughie? D'you believe in God?
:'''Hughie''': I mean, I don't know. 
:'''Butcher''': What? Come off it.
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, I don't know. I don't think it's Morgan Freeman up there or anything, but it can't all be random chaos.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander confronts Stillwell about the speech he's about to give at the Believe Expo]''
:'''Stillwell''': What are you doing here?
:'''Homelander''': Skipping work now?
:'''Stillwell''': I am taking Teddy to the pediatrician.
:'''Homelander''': Maybe reschedule it.
:'''Stillwell''': I've already rescheduled three times. What is the emergency?
:'''Homelander''': My speech.
:'''Stillwell''': Your speech?
:'''Homelander''': Yes, my speech. It reads like corporate fucking mayonnaise. We're talking Believe here. These are my people.
:'''Stillwell''': But you're not just talking to them. Every dove and Democrat in Congress is gonna be watching you on CNN. You need to appear moderate…
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Stillwell''': Humble.
:'''Homelander''': No, you… There is an opportunity here. People are scared. They don't trust Washington or the coastal elite, and they hate foreigners. What they want is a little John Wayne frontier justice. And that is what I do. ''[pause]'' Don't forget… it was ''me'' that saved that Flight 37 thing. I turned that into a win. For us.
:'''Stillwell''': You're really gonna talk to me about &quot;saving&quot; Flight 37? ''[snickers]''
:'''Homelander''': Well, why wouldn't I? 
:'''Stillwell''': Look, can I please just talk to you later? The speech is perfect! Trust me!
:'''Homelander''': &quot;Trust you.&quot; Okay. That's what you always say. 
:'''Stillwell''': ''[to Teddy]'' Come here.
:''[Stillwell ignores Homelander and picks up Teddy from his car seat]''
:'''Homelander''': You're not even fucking listening to me! You're so full of shit! You say you want my input, but you don't.
:'''Stillwell''': Yes, I do.
:'''Homelander''': No, you don't. And you never will.
:'''Stillwell''': I do! Can we ''please'' just talk later?!
:'''Homelander''': Why? You gonna run off and play &quot;strong single mom&quot;? Please… That baby is an accessory.
:'''Stillwell''': We need boundaries.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': Excuse me, sir. May I speak with you just for a moment?
:'''Ezekiel''': Sorry, son. I got a packed schedule.
:'''Hughie''': Alright. I understand, sir, but it's just–I need your guidance. I need Christ's guidance.
:'''Ezekiel''': What is it?
:'''Hughie''': Just hold on… one second. Let me just show you something.
:''[Hughie realizes his cell phone, which has the incriminating video of Ezekiel, stopped working after being water-damaged]''
:'''Ezekiel''': ''[chuckles]'' What's wrong?
:'''Hughie''': Uh… You fucked me.
:'''Ezekiel''': What?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, in a private Supe club. You know, the one on East 29th? Secret Lair, I think it's called?
:'''Ezekiel''': Don't know it. Nope.
:'''Hughie''': There were three of us oiled up, and you just wrapped your stretchy arms around me and it was–it was so fucking hot. And your dick was so perfect and long and… stretchy. And you–you played my butt like jazz. With poise and skill and… willingness to improvise.
:''[Later, Hughie calls M.M. on another phone after successfully blackmailing Ezekiel]''
:'''Hughie''': Hey, so that wasn't a piece of cake.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hughie, that you? You alright?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. Yeah, it's me. Sorry. I had to–had to borrow a phone. ''[to someone offscreen]'' Thanks again. ''[to M.M.]'' I got baptized. Yeah, it's a long story. Blackmailing somebody is not cake, okay? It is weird, it's scary, you wind up just saying shit.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Okay, but did you get him to talk? What'd he say?
:'''Hughie''': Uh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, you–you know that charity of his? Samaritan's Embrace?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Right.
:'''Hughie''': Alright. So what they do is they take boxes full of that stuff and they ship it to hospitals all across the country. And apparently, the latest one is going to the NICU at Mercer Hospital. It's, uh–It's Midtown, I think.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You are a natural, kid. You're like the fuckin' [[w:Rain Man|''Rain Man'']] of fucking people over.
:'''Hughie''': ''[laughs sarcastically]'' Not a compliment.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Every single word that I say up here, I'm reading from a script. I didn't write any of these words. I don't even know if I believe in them. I mean, I believe in God. I love God so much, but… honestly, it's… it's just how goddamn certain everyone is around here. ''[pause; the audience gasps]'' I mean, tickets start at, what, 170 bucks so that these people can tell you how to get into Heaven? How do they know? How does anybody know? When the Bible was written, life expectancy was 30 years old. I mean, I'm not so sure you're supposed to take it literally. It also says that it's a sin to eat shrimp. What, if–if you're gay or if you're… Gandhi, you're going to Hell? I mean… ''[scoffs]'' And if you have sex before marriage, that's–that's not immoral. That's human. What's immoral is the guy who shoved his dick in my face. 
:''[The audience gasps again. Cut to The Deep and Madelyn Stillwell at Vought Tower.]''
:'''The Deep''': ''[watching from the Seven's meeting room]'' Shit.
:'''Stillwell''': ''[watching from her office]'' Shit.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[looks at Hughie and her mom before continuing her speech]'' Here's the truth. Anyone who tells you they know the answers is lying. And I know, I know, I'm supposed to be this hero-idol-symbol-whatever, but... I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I'm just as scared and confused as the rest of you. I'm done pretending, and I'm done taking any more shit. ''[pause]'' Thank you.
:''[Hughie is the only one in the audience who claps for Annie after she walks offstage]''

===''&quot;The Innocents&quot;'' [1.06]===
:'''Annie/Starlight''': You fired Ashley?
:'''Stillwell''': It was actually a mutual decision. She wanted to explore different career paths, and um, we wished her well. So, I would like you to take this in the constructive spirit that it is intended.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Okay.
:'''Stillwell''': You are a selfish, arrogant child.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Wow.
:'''Stillwell''': Back in Iowa, I bet you watched a lot of Queen Maeve's movies, right?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I did.
:'''Stillwell''': She was a rebel. Didn't take anyone's shit, didn't play by the rules. That's what you wanted to be. That's what American heroes are, but it's a myth; I should know because I wrote it. The truth is dozens of people in this company spent hundreds of hours to create the thing that is you.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I never asked for that.
:'''Stillwell''': Then, why don't you burn the sparkly outfit and become a cop? You wanna be a superhero. You wanna be famous… but nobody's famous alone. So why don't you cut the petulant diva shit, show a little fucking gratitude, and let us do our job?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[beat]'' No.
:'''Stillwell''': I'm sorry?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I mean, I don't mean to be ungrateful, but… No red carpets, no reality TV, and no Noxzema commercials. And I want my old uniform back. I'm gonna save people.
:'''Stillwell''': Then, I think we may need to reconsider your position in The Seven.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': And I think that firing an employee after she reported sexual assault on live TV might tank your stock price.
:'''Stillwell''': ''[taken aback]'' Well, I hope we can count on your discretion.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Sorry, I don't do discretion anymore. If anyone asks me who did it, I'm gonna answer honestly.
:'''Stillwell''': Well, it's great that you wanna tell the truth. I just don't know to whom you're referring.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Oh, I think you know. I think you've known for a long time.
:'''Stillwell''': ''[pause]'' Thank you so much for coming, Starlight. I have a lot to think about.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Queen Maeve''': Boy, you're really milking this thing for all it's worth.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Excuse me?
:'''Queen Maeve''': This empowerment act. I mean, every time I'm on a red carpet now, they're asking me how I'm supporting Starlight. But hey, as long as you're trending, right?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I know that you might not get this, but it's not an act. I'm just trying to be honest.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Okay, yeah.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': When I was younger, I read your autobiography so many times that I wore it out. I had to buy a second one. I wanted to live my life exactly like yours. Because you didn't just break all the bones in your right arm stopping that school bus from falling off of a bridge… but you also went to every kid's physical therapy afterwards just to show the world that they were heroes, too. You really stood for something. But now… I'm pretty sure that was just written by the marketing guys.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Frenchie is watching a nature documentary on sharks and The Asian Female/Kimiko sits next to him]''
:'''Frenchie''': ''Mon coeur.'' Would you like me to change it?
:''[The Female shakes her head]''
:'''Frenchie''': You talked to me. She talked to me!
:'''Mother's Milk''': That's talking?
:'''Frenchie''': Well, she communicated anyway. 
:'''Mother's Milk''': She likes [[w:Shark Week|Shark Week]], huh? I'll call BuzzFeed.
:'''Frenchie''': I wonder if she lived by the water. ''[gets off couch and walks to M.M.]'' You know, you can't fool me. ''[sits near M.M.]'' Who is she? What does she want? Why is she here? She could be the key to it all. That's what you think, huh?
:'''Mother's Milk''': No, that's not what I think.
:'''Frenchie''': Yes, you do. It torments you. It's okay. Listen, I got one word for you. It's a surefire way to solve this puzzle. Once and for all.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Tell me.
:'''Frenchie''': Mesmer.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Mesmer? You want help from a Supe? He despises Vought. Hates them, hates the other Supes. And the enemy of your enemy... Frenchie, what part of &quot;you're burned&quot; do you not understand?
:'''Frenchie''': Oh, come on. It's a quick trip. She and I will hide in the van. Let's go. In, out, boom, bing. 
:'''Mother's Milk''': Boom, bing? Look, I'll tell you what I can do. I can... possibly tattoo &quot;fuck no&quot; on your ass.
:'''Frenchie''': ''[gets up and flicks a hand]'' Ah, come on.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Best I can do.
:'''Frenchie''': You know... I've seen you eat ice cream.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Oh, my God.
:'''Frenchie''': Chunky Monkey, I believe.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Where is this going?
:'''Frenchie''': Well, you know, you take a spoonful... a chunk of fudge, perhaps. But then I see you with the surface is uneven. So what do you do? You take another scoop, you try to even it out, which tragically creates a corresponding divot. Ultimately, there is only but one choice for you, no? To consume the entire pint. No, you don't want to. You don't want to, but you must. And I tell you why, my friend: Because you cannot bear things out of order. And she... she's out of order.
:''[Mother's Milk stares disapprovingly at the Female]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Suspecting that Hughie may be falling in love with Annie, Butcher takes him to a superhuman survivors' support group to listen to people and their personal experiences with Supes]''
:'''Seth''': So I'm kind of a writer. I work in marketing. There's this one hero, who shall remain nameless, but has ice powers.
:'''Butcher''': ''[snaps his fingers]'' Ice Princess.
:'''Seth''': I'm… not allowed to say. Anyway, she took a liking to me. It was heady, man. Intoxicating. No one wants to fuck the writer. Needless to say, I fell for her big time.
:'''Butcher''': ''[whispering to Hughie]'' What kind of knobber falls for a Supe?
:'''Seth''': Anyway, we were being intimate when she climaxed and accidentally turned into ice. Just for a second, but I was, uh… still in there, at negative 346 degrees. Same temperature as liquid nitrogen. As you can imagine, um… ''[beat; looks down in shame]'' It snapped off.
:''[Everyone, except Butcher and Hughie, quietly gasps]''
:'''Seth''': The crazy thing is, I still miss her. It's like… that's the cost of a mortal like me for being with a god like her.
:'''Butcher''': ''[whispering to Hughie]'' If a Supe done that when she was happy, imagine what one would do if she found out you'd been lyin' to her from the get-go?
:'''Lydia''': Excuse me. Do you have something you'd like to share?
:'''Butcher''': No, no. Apologies. ''[to Seth]'' Please, do continue the ice capades.
:'''Lydia''': We don't make jokes or judgments here. Why don't you take the talking stick and tell us your story?
:'''Butcher''': Nah, I'm good.
:'''Lydia''': You know, I've seen guys like you before. 
:'''Butcher''': Oh, I seriously doubt that. 
:'''Lydia''': The smirk, the jokes–It's all a defense mechanism. But you don't have to do that here. This is a safe space. 
:'''Butcher''': I said I'm good. Time to move on.
:'''Lydia''': Go ahead, Seth. Give him the stick.
:''[Seth attempts to give Butcher the talking stick, but Butcher yanks it from him and threatens him with it]''
:'''Butcher''': You back off, or I'll shove this stick where your dick used to be. ''[to the rest of the support group]'' You're a bunch of pathetic Supe-worshipin' cunts. I bet you'd thank a Supe if they shat on your mum's best china! Did it ever occur to you that they split your spine… or broke your dick just for a laugh? Where's your fuckin' rage?! Your self-respect?! Sittin' here in your little share circle. Havin' a little whinge and a moan. Fuck lettin' go! You should be out there with a fuckin' chainsaw, goin' after them! Just a bunch of scared fuckin' rabbits.
:''[Butcher drops the talking stick and sees himself out]''
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Hughie as he walks out]'' Supes are the same. Every fuckin' one of 'em.
:'''Hughie''': Oh, he's, um... sorry. ''[follows Butcher out]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Butcher and Hughie are sitting on a park bench]''
:'''Hughie''': What are we doing here?
:'''Butcher''': My wife, Becca, used to hum the Spice Girls. She drove me round the fuckin' bend, y'know? All day long, walkin' around the house hummin'. She was happy. Now, I don't know why she was happy with me, but… she was happy. ''[beat]'' Homelander raped her.
:'''Hughie''': …Jesus. ''[pause]'' I–I'm sorry.
:'''Butcher''': Not long after that, she came and sat right here. I know this 'cause she got tagged in that security camera right there. ''[points at said camera on a lamp post]'' She sat here for three hours. Didn't move a muscle. Then, she just got up and walked away. That was eight years ago… and nobody's seen her since. Either Homelander killed her or she killed herself. Same difference. ''[pause]'' You see, I know what it's like to lose someone. You and me, we're in this together. For Robin… and Becca. That is why you can't allow yourself to be distracted by another bird. Especially not a Supe. Just remember… who your friends and who your enemies are.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''The Deep''': Oh. Ms. Stillwell. Hey, you wanted to see me, right?
:'''Stillwell''': Yeah, I'm running late. Can you walk with me?
:'''The Deep''': Yeah, sure. ''[holds up infant sleeper suit]'' Hey, look, I brought a little present for your little guy.
:'''Stillwell''': Ah.
:'''The Deep''': Never, uh, too young to start saving the world, right?
:'''Stillwell''': I'm gonna need you to make a public apology. And you're going to be taking a sabbatical from The Seven.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[The Boys recruit Mesmer to learn more about the Female by reading her mind. As Mesmer holds her hand, he sees a series of visions of her in a jungle with armed soldiers]''
:'''Mesmer''': There's a camp in a jungle. She's a soldier. There's a flag with a two-headed snake on it.
:'''Butcher''': Two-headed snake? Like… ''[makes an &quot;X&quot; with his arms and fists]'' 
:'''Mesmer''': ''[nods]'' Yeah.
:'''Butcher''': With red rays behind it?
:'''Hughie''': What does that mean?
:'''Mother's Milk''': It's the flag of the Shining Light Liberation Army. Frenchie… you're dating a terrorist.
:''[...]''
:'''Frenchie''': There must be more to all of this. She can't be a terrorist. 
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, well, you just fuckin' keep her under control.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Okay, so they smuggle in a top-shelf extremist recruit and pump her up with Compound V. 
:'''Butcher''': And then, when she's good and ready, they cut her loose to wreak havoc.
:'''Frenchie''': She wouldn't.
:'''Hughie''': Wait, why would Vought give Compound V to terrorists?
:'''Mother's Milk''': 'Cause the only thing more dangerous than a terrorist is a Supe terrorist. And the only way to fight it…
:'''Butcher''': Is with Sergeant fuckin' Homelander. Gotta let the cunts in the army now. Those fuckers are creatin' supervillains. And maybe there's more of 'em. God knows how many.
:'''Hughie''': Holy shit.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Okay, this is a clusterfuck. Even for us.
:'''Frenchie''': No, listen to me, okay? Maybe that's what they want her to be. But that's not who she is. That's not what she wants!
:'''Butcher''': And you know this 'cause she bends your fuckin' ear off?
:'''Frenchie''': She saved my life! She's not bad! She just wanna go home!
:'''Butcher''': She's a fuckin' Supe, just like the rest! How many times do I have to fuckin' say it, eh?!
:''[Frenchie notices the Female making more drawings]''
:'''Frenchie''': ''[to the Female]'' ''Mon coeur'', I know you understand me. Tell them who you are. Tell them what I see.
:''[The Female gets up, takes Mesmer's hand and kneels down with him. Mesmer closes his eyes and sees another series of visions of the Female as a child.]''
:'''Mesmer''': The drawings are palm trees in front of the moon. It's where she grew up. They killed her parents. They kidnapped her and her brother… forced them to be soldiers. She just wants to go back and get her brother out of there. Her name's Kimiko.
:'''Frenchie''': Kimiko… ''Bonjour'', Kimiko.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I don't remember, but my mom said that when I was born, I almost blinded the doctor. So I had powers from the start. Why?
:'''Hughie''': No. No, I'm just curious.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Mmm. Do you mind if we just… not talk about hero stuff tonight?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, yeah. Bad day at work?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Yeah, it's an understatement. You know, there's this beach in the Bahamas where the sand is pink. Like, cotton candy pink.
:'''Hughie''': What's it called?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Pink Sands. ''[Hughie laughs]'' It's not the most creative name, but… Let's just go. 
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. No, I can, uh… learn how to play the steel drum. You can get cornrows.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[chuckles]'' How about tonight?
:'''Hughie''': ''[snaps fingers]'' Book that ticket. ''[pause]'' Are… Are we talking about this?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I don't know. I… I just know that, for me, New York has been such an endless shit show... 
:''[Hughie has vision of Robin staring at him from the back of the bar]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': …Except for you. Somehow, in the middle of it all… you found me.
:''[Hughie kisses Annie. When they break away, he looks off to the distance and no longer sees Robin. Annie giggles and passionately kisses him back.]''
:'''Butcher''': Hughie? I thought that was you. ''[chuckles]'' Oh. Oh, I apologize. I didn't mean to interrupt. 
:'''Annie/Starlight''': No. Hi, I'm Annie.
:'''Butcher''': Billy. ''[shakes Annie's hand]'' Old mate of Hughie's.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[to Hughie]'' Boy, you really–you have a lot of friends showing up here.
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. Seems like it.
:''[...]''
:'''Butcher''': Well, well, well. 
:'''Hughie''': Butcher…
:'''Butcher''': She's quite tasty up close and personal. I get what you see in her.
:'''Hughie''': That wasn't what–
:'''Butcher''': I thought we had an understanding.
:'''Hughie''': We do. We do. It… It's not what–
:'''Butcher''': Not what it looks like? 'Cause from where I'm sittin', it looks like you've got your tongue halfway down the opposition's throat.
:'''Hughie''': She is ''not'' the opposition. She's a good person, okay? I mean, she could help us.
:'''Butcher''': Help us?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah.
:'''Butcher''': And what d'you think she's gonna do when she finds out you murdered Translucent?

===''&quot;The Self-Preservation Society&quot;'' [1.07]===
:''[A-Train finds The Seven huddled together in the main conference room]''
:'''A-Train''': What’s going on?
:'''Homelander''': I missed you guys. Just wanted to see your smiling faces. Take a seat, buddy. ''[pause; A-Train sits down next to Annie]'' And truth be known, I felt like we were overdue a little heart-to-heart. A rap session, maybe a little tough love.
:'''Queen Maeve''': ''[snickers]'' What’s that supposed to mean?
:'''Homelander''': It means that lately some of you have been… ''[starts walking around the room]'' a little out of sorts. Erratic. Unreliable. Downright sloppy. ''[points at Black Noir]'' Not you, Noir. You’ve been great. But the rest of you… it is fair to say that I am disappointed. Gotta keep your eye on the ball, guys. The enemies are storming the gates. I mean, ''[puts his hands on two empty chairs]'' we’re not even The Seven anymore. We’re down to five. We’re dropping like fucking flies, but at least now I know why.
:''[Homelander presses a button on a remote to show security cam footage of Hughie on one of the monitor screens]'' 
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[looks shocked]'' Why…? Is this a joke? Why is Hughie up there?
:'''Queen Maeve''': I don’t understand. Who is this guy?
:'''Homelander''': This guy is Hugh Campbell. He and Starlight are going steady. 
:''[The rest of The Seven all stare at Annie]'' 
:'''Homelander''': He’s also one of the guys who killed Translucent.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Wait, ''what?!''
:'''Homelander''': As well as blackmailing Mesmer, Ezekiel, Popclaw, and God knows who else.
:'''A-Train''': Popclaw?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': No. No, no, no. That–That is insane! 
:'''Homelander''': Starlight… Sticks and stones won’t break my bones, but words…
:'''Annie/Starlight''': No, sir. I’m sorry. I wasn’t… It’s just, he’s not–I mean, why would he do that?
:'''Homelander''': Good question. A-Train, over to you.
:'''A-Train''': …What?
:'''Homelander''': Oh, boy. That little leg of yours is still scrambled, huh? 
:''[Homelander presses another button to zoom out on the image to show Hughie talking to A-Train]''
:'''Homelander''': How about now?
:'''A-Train''': Oh, ''shit''. I know this guy. 
:'''Homelander''': You did smash through his girlfriend, so I should hope so. Robin… Something-or-other.
:'''A-Train''': I–I remember now. I’ve seen him outside of Popclaw’s place. He was all in my face. ''[to Annie]'' You’re fucking this guy?! 
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Okay, slow down. I don’t know what’s going on, but Hughie is not capable of anything close to this.
:'''Homelander''': Well, that is true, actually. That’s very true. He is just a man, and… ''[chuckles]'' by the looks of it, not much of one, but–but hear me out. What if he was helped? Hmm? Say someone… I dunno, who got him in to see Ezekiel. And got rid of The Deep?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': No. Whoa, whoa… ''[gets up]'' No–
:'''Homelander''': ''[activates laser eyes]'' Keep those hands down by your sides, missy. ''[pause]'' Sit down. 
:''[A-Train and Black Noir continue staring at Annie as she slowly sits back down. Homelander’s eyes return to normal.]''
:'''Homelander''': Now… I know that you wanna make this whole Deep thing an [[w:Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)|“all the single ladies”]] moment. Power, ''[sarcastically jabs Annie with his fist]'' right? But really what you’ve done is pulled off every criminal's wet dream. I mean, The Seven is down by two. I just can’t help noticing that it all started when you came along. Which makes me wonder, which one of us is next? Hmm?
:'''A-Train''': You bitch.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I didn’t do anything.
:'''Homelander''': Enough! We’re a different fucking breed! We shine with the golden light of providence, but you?! You’ve been helping these ''fucking mud people'' to go against us!
:'''Annie/Starlight''': No! 
:'''Homelander''': ''Shut your '''fucking mouth''', young lady.'' If you were in my position… what would you do to you?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[mouthing]'' Please.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Homelander, that’s enough.
:'''Homelander''': You got something to add, Maeve?
:'''Queen Maeve''': She didn’t know.
:'''Homelander''': Well, she stinks of adrenaline and her heart’s beating like a little rabbit.
:'''Queen Maeve''': The only thing she’s guilty of is being fucking stupid. She obviously fell for this Hugh Campbell guy, he’s pumping her for information, so back off. Leave her alone.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; turns and looks at Maeve]'' Wow. Starlight, you must be something special. I can’t remember the last time Maeve gave a shit… Well, gave a shit about anyone, really. ''[exhales deeply; to Maeve]'' And if I say no?
:'''Queen Maeve''': Come on. I got this. It’s you and me, remember? 
:'''Homelander''': ''[whispering]'' Don’t say I never do anything for you. ''[winks]'' Alright. You want her, you got her. She’s your responsibility now. I just hope you’re right about her. For both your sakes. Class dismissed! ''[claps]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': Hey, can we talk? 
:'''Butcher''': That's what we're doin', innit?
:'''Hughie''': No, I mean–
:'''Butcher''': There ain't no secrets here, son. Spit it out.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Stop being an asshole. Just talk to the guy.
:'''Butcher''': Hughie doesn't mind. Do you, Hughie?
:'''Hughie''': ''[pause]'' Okay, fine. I don't think I can do this anymore.
:'''Butcher''': Do what?
:'''Hughie''': This. I mean, Vought–whatever with Kimiko–it's awful, and you gotta stop it, but I can't.
:'''Butcher''': Right. You just wanna kick back, drink a few [[w:Mai Tai|Mai Tais]], and let us do all the work. Is that it?
:'''Hughie''': I managed to go my whole life without seeing someone die horribly, and now I'm up to about a half dozen, so I think I'm good.
:'''Butcher''': Please. You're a fuckin' killer, Hughie. Just like the rest of us. Now, why don't you stop pissin' around and tell everybody what this is really all about? Yeah?
:'''Hughie''': Fine. Annie, okay?
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[sighs and facepalms]'' Fuck.
:'''Hughie''': It's about Annie.
:'''Butcher''': ''[claps]'' Fuckin' finally! He's been sneakin' off to give her one at Lincoln Grand!
:'''Hughie''': You've been following me?
:'''Butcher''': Like you gave me a choice.
:'''Hughie''': She doesn't know anything, okay?! I'm not gonna tell her anything! We'll just–
:'''Butcher''': Just what? Fuck off to Epcot? The Hamptons? Maybe pump out a few flyin' babies?!
:'''Hughie''': No. I... I don't know!
:'''Butcher''': No, you don't know! 'Cause you ain't thinkin', except with your dick. 
:'''Hughie''': You're wrong about her. 
:'''Butcher''': That bitch is fuckin' playin' you, and you're too fuckin' blind to see it!
:'''Hughie''': So better to be loyal to a dead woman who doesn't know and doesn't care? How's that working out for you?!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': You know, this shit must be pretty good… if it's worth running through a human being for.
:'''A-Train''': Oh, my God, man! That was an ''accident!'' Where the fuck is the V?!
:'''Hughie''': That &quot;accident&quot; had a name.
:'''A-Train''': And what about Popclaw?! She had a name, too! Charlotte! The only good thing left in my life is ''gone'' now! What is this, man? I kill your girlfriend and you kill mine?!
:'''Hughie''': I didn't kill your girlfriend.
:'''A-Train''': You ''used'' her. You put her in danger, and then you threw her out like she was fucking garbage! How does this not all ''start'' with ''you'', Hughie?! The only difference between you and me is that I made a mistake! The shit you did was ''on purpose!'' So who's worse?!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[In a flashback, Butcher is visited by a woman from the CIA]''
:'''Butcher''': Don't want none, fuck off.
:'''Grace Mallory''': I'm here about your wife.
:''[Cut to Butcher watching surveillance camera footage of Becca with Homelander on a laptop]''
:'''Mallory''': I believe this was a few days after you met Homelander at that Christmas party?
:''[Homelander is seen laughing and leading Becca into an empty room]''
:'''Mallory''': She was alone with him for three hours.
:''[Mallory fast-forwards the footage until a disheveled and distressed Becca is shown running out of the room. Butcher covers his mouth as he realizes what Homelander did to her.]''
:'''Mallory''': Not long after that, Rebecca went missing and has remained so ever since. One way or another, Mr. Butcher, I believe Homelander was involved.
:'''Butcher''': Homelander… But he's a fuckin' superhero.
:'''Mallory''': You wouldn't believe what they get up to.
:'''Butcher''': ''[pause]'' Who the fuck are you?
:'''Mallory''': My name is Mallory. ''[shows Butcher her CIA badge]'' I'm the person who can get you payback.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Queen Maeve''': You know, I had someone once. We were gonna get away, start a family.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': So what happened?
:'''Queen Maeve''': Well... Everyone always asks, what's our special weakness? Gamma rays? Iron daggers? Some ridiculous, stupid thing? The truth is, our weakness is the same as anyone's. It's people. The people we care about. So I say, cut them loose. For your good and for theirs. That way you're ''really'' bulletproof.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Jonah Vogelbaum''': Eight years ago, Stillwell called me with quite an interesting challenge. Rebecca Butcher had come to her with a completely unprecedented medical condition.
:'''Homelander''': What condition?
:''[In a flashback, Becca pulls up her hospital gown and her belly starts glowing. Stillwell and Vogelbaum look at her in shock.]''
:'''Vogelbaum''': She was pregnant… with your child.
:'''Homelander''': Pregnant? ''[pause; mutters in shock]'' But I–I thought I couldn't.
:'''Vogelbaum''': So did I. Apparently, nature is tenacious. The fetus was developing unnaturally fast. We told her we'd deliver the baby safely at a secure location, but she had to sign an NDA. Couldn't tell anyone; not even her husband. You can imagine the size of the potential scandal. 
:''[In another flashback, Becca is wheeled into an operating room and goes into labor. She screams in pain as her baby rips her out from the inside, causing tremendous blood loss.]''
:'''Vogelbaum''': The birth was difficult. The baby clawed its way out of her. The blood loss, no one could have survived. She died on the table.
:'''Homelander''': And–And the baby?
:'''Vogelbaum''': Lived all of ten seconds. Drowned in its mother's blood.
:'''Homelander''': Was it a boy?
:'''Vogelbaum''': Does it matter?
:'''Homelander''': Why didn't you tell me?
:'''Vogelbaum''': To protect you. That's always job one at Vought, isn't it? Protect our most profitable asset?
:'''Homelander''': So why are you telling me now?
:'''Vogelbaum''': You don't understand. The thing about cross-breeding dogs… you get the right genes, you can get a perfect creation. But it doesn't matter how perfect they are; it's not enough. When I raise subjects without their mothers, they become violent. Aggressive. Downright hateful. You should've been raised in a home with a family who loved you. Not in a cold lab with doctors.
:'''Homelander''': And yet I turned out great.
:'''Vogelbaum''': When I think what it's done to you, and what you can now do to everyone else… ''[beat; sighs]'' I'm sorry.
:'''Homelander''': I don't want your fucking apology.
:'''Vogelbaum''': All this is my fault.
:'''Homelander''': ''[in a shaky tone]'' What do you want? What? What do you want, forgiveness? Now? After you raised me like a fucking lab rat? ''[shakes his head]'' No. Too little, too late.
:'''Vogelbaum''': I don't want anything from you, John. I'm just an old man thinking about his mistakes.
:'''Homelander''': I'm the world's greatest superhero.
:'''Vogelbaum''': You're my greatest failure.

===''&quot;You Found Me&quot;'' [1.08]===
:'''Annie/Starlight''': What's Compound V?
:'''Donna January''': Compound V? I don't know, sweetheart. Should I?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': How old was I? How old was I when you let Vought pump me full of drugs?
:'''Donna''': Annie, honestly, I don't know what you're talk–
:'''Annie/Starlight''': How old, when you let them turn me into a freak?
:'''Donna''': You're not a freak! Never say that!
:'''Annie/Starlight''': So it's true.
:'''Donna''': Annie... 
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[beat; looks on the verge of tears]'' Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
:'''Donna''': Did–Did Vought tell you all this? 
:'''Annie/Starlight''': No. No, a friend told me. How much did they pay you?
:'''Donna''': It wasn't about money.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''How much?''
:'''Donna''': There was no money. They–They just paid for the medical bills, that's it. I did it because they–they promised that you'd have a chance at an extraordinary life. To be strong and successful and special. I mean, who wouldn't want that for their–
:'''Annie/Starlight''': You made me think that I was chosen by God!
:'''Donna''': You were! God brought Vought into our lives. He made this possible.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': BULLSHIT! '''YOU''' DID! And then you controlled ''every single minute'' of it! You woke me up at 5:00 a.m. to train for those stupid pageants, and the [[w:tap dance|tap dancing]] and the [[w:tae kwon do|tae kwon do]]! I gave up every moment of my life!
:'''Donna''': I gave up every moment of ''my'' life. And I was happy to do it! This was our dream!
:'''Annie/Starlight''': This was ''your'' dream! I never got a chance to choose my own dreams. No wonder I don't know who the ''fuck'' I'm supposed to be!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mallory''': William.
:'''Butcher''': What are you lookin' at out there?
:'''Mallory''': Eastern meadowlarks. It was either bird-watching or alcoholism, so... birds. ''[lifts binoculars from her eyes]'' I thought we agreed that you were never gonna come out here.
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, well, you taught me a thing or two about broken promises, didn't ya? This is Hugh Campbell. We're working with M.M. and Frenchie. I got the Boys back together.
:'''Mallory''': ''[to Hughie]'' Grace Mallory. I'm the founder of your little club. ''[to Butcher]'' So, let me hear it.
:'''Butcher''': I need your help.
:'''Mallory''': Sorry, I can't. I'm hoping to photograph a snowy owl in the dunes.
:'''Butcher''': Look... I didn't wanna come here, but I need your help. And you're gonna fuckin' help. 
:'''Mallory''': Why's that?
:'''Butcher''': ''[gets in front of Mallory]'' Because you owe me. You fuckin' owe me, goddammit.
:''[...]''
:'''Mallory''': There's simply nothing else to say. I can't help you.
:'''Butcher''': Well, you're gonna have to do better than that.
:'''Mallory''': Do I? Why? 
:'''Butcher''': 'Cause you made me a promise!
:'''Mallory''': But then my grandchildren got incinerated. Tends to change one's perspective. There weren't even teeth left; Lamplighter had burnt them alive so thoroughly. Well, I think I've had enough sun for one day. Pleasure meeting you, Hugh… Butcher.
:'''Butcher''': Well, what about what you've done?
:'''Mallory''': What ''I've'' done? To who?
:'''Butcher''': To me, goddammit. To me. You trained me up, manipulated me, aimed me at Homelander like a fuckin' howitzer! And then when it didn't suit you anymore, you just threw me away!
:'''Mallory''': And not a day goes by that I don't regret it.
:'''Butcher''': Day late, dollar short, love. Now, I'm gonna finish what you started… and I need your help. Please.
:'''Mallory''': You can leave with something if you never come back, and you keep your goddamn promise this time. ''[pause; Butcher nods]'' Madelyn Stillwell.
:'''Butcher''': Vought's VP?
:'''Mallory''': Homelander's her main account.
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, that ain't news.
:'''Mallory''': No, but this is: They have a... what shall we say, a very special relationship. Complicated, intimate, hard to quantify.
:'''Butcher''': And you know this how?
:'''Mallory''': Still have a few fingers in a few pies. I don't know if Homelander has a weakness, but if he does… she'll know it.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' Goodbye, Grace.
:''[Butcher begins walking away with Hughie following behind]''
:'''Mallory''': You wanna kill yourself, that's your right. I won't stop you! But, Billy… not the others! ''[to Hughie]'' Vengeance isn't a path to glory, Hugh. It's a one-way ticket to a dead end, looking at fucking birds.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': How are we gonna get the guys back?
:'''Butcher''': We're on our own. We've gotta get to Stillwell before the walls close in.
:'''Hughie''': Who gives a fuck about Stillwell?! We have to go back for them!
:'''Butcher''': You don't get it, Hughie. We got about a couple hours before they find us, and that's if we're lucky. We gotta hit back and hit back now.
:'''Hughie''': You're abandoning them. I mean, they all... They risked their... Mother's Milk has a daughter.
:'''Butcher''': They'd want us to finish the job.
:'''Hughie''': Your job! ''Your'' job, not theirs! It's all about Homelander, isn't it?
:'''Butcher''': And A-Train. This is your fuckin' shit, too, Hughie. I promised you payback, didn't I?
:'''Hughie''': Mallory give you the same speech back in the day?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah. Yeah, she did, but she broke her promise. I'm keepin' mine.
:'''Hughie''': ''[laughs in disbelief]'' I'm so fucking stupid. You never cared about me… or Robin, did you? I was just useful to you.
:'''Butcher''': Fuck, Hughie. Of course you're useful. I mean, that's why you're here, innit? Now, we just gotta take one more step… Yeah? Come on.
:'''Hughie''': No. We have to save them.
:'''Butcher''': For fuck's sakes, Hughie. We don't have time for this shit right now, okay? We get Stillwell. Now, get in the fuckin' car!
:'''Hughie''': Then what? Becca comes back from the dead? Robin, too? This is never gonna stop! It's just gonna be more blood and... awfulness!
:'''Butcher''': ''[gets in Hughie's face]'' That's the fuckin' game. If you don't like to play, why did you join the fuckin' team?
:'''Hughie''': Mallory's right. You're just gonna drag us all down with you. Not me. Not anymore.
:'''Butcher''': You're a fuckin' pathetic cunt and an insult to Robin's memory.
:'''Hughie''': I think I'm doing this for her.
:'''Butcher''': …Goodbye, Hughie.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Queen Maeve overhears Annie vomiting in a Vought bathroom stall]''
:'''Queen Maeve''': You want me to hold your hair back? 
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[groans]'' Don't touch… ''[grunts; flushes the toilet]'' Leave me alone, I'm not in the mood. 
:'''Queen Maeve''': Not in the mood for what?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Your bottomless casual cruelty. So just make whatever shitty comment you're gonna make and then go.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Look. ''[turns her wrist over]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': What am I supposed to be looking at? 
:'''Queen Maeve''': No... my radius never healed straight. I really did break every bone in my right arm.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': What?
:'''Queen Maeve''': Stopping the bus from falling. You said the marketing guys made it up. It was me. 23-year-old, bright-eyed, &quot;ass you could bounce a quarter off of&quot;... me. I really did wanna make a difference. I really did care. I was just like you. And then, I started giving pieces of myself away and... I guess I gave away everything. ''[beat]'' So you know what? Be... Just be original. For fuck's sake. My position is already taken. Be the annoying goody two-shoes asshоlе that you are. ''[chuckles]'' One of us has to be.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie gets himself captured and is placed in the same cell where Mother's Milk and Frenchie are imprisoned]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Did they get Butcher too?
:'''Hughie''': No.
:'''Frenchie''': They had you separated? When? When?
:'''Hughie''': Well, um... he went after Homelander. But I-I came to save you. Yay.
:'''Mother's Milk''': So, you came here. You meant to come here. Without Butcher.
:'''Hughie''': Yeah.
:'''Frenchie''': ''[genuinely impressed]'' ''C'est incroyable.'' ''[grabs Hughie and kisses him on both cheeks]'' Never has a man thrown his life away so... completely like you've thrown yours away today. No. No, I mean, ''you'' rescuing ''us'' is the most useless, futile gesture I can think of!
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, I-I got it.
:'''Frenchie''': Unbelievable!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Butcher holds Stillwell hostage at her home when Homelander arrives to save her. He comes downstairs holding Teddy.]''
:'''Homelander''': Billy Butcher. You don't mind if I call you Billy, right? You are pretty darn impressive. I mean, especially for, you know… one of you. See, even now, most people standing where you are would be pissing their pants terrified. But you... Sure, your heart's pounding, but you're not afraid. It's anger. That's a new one for me.
:'''Stillwell''': Homelander, will you please take the baby upstairs? 
:'''Homelander''': All because of your lovely wife, Becca. Right? Okay, let's cut the bullshit, huh? You know that we, uh... ''[makes humping gesture]'' Bro, not my fault, okay? ''She'' came on to ''me''. It happens…
:'''Stillwell''': Will you stop?
:'''Homelander''': …you know, it's–it's the fame. They get crushes. There's nothing I can do about it. But what I ''will'' tell you is, she was a hell of a lay. ''[laughs]'' She came three times, eh? Three times. ''[places Teddy in his crib]'' Alright, little man, have a little lie-down. Good boy.
:'''Stillwell''': I want you to take him out of here. 
:'''Homelander''': ''[to Stillwell]'' Yeah, I hear you. ''[sighs; to Butcher]'' But that's not really it. No, no, no, no, no. No, it's more than just that. ''[pause]'' You think I'm responsible for her death, don't you? So now you have a hostage that–that I care about, right? Someone I love. So, what's your plan... from here? What do you want? Do you want a confession, or... What's your endgame?
:'''Butcher''': I'm just gonna hurt you. I mean, ''really'' fuckin' hurt you… and that'll be good enough for me.
:'''Homelander''': So, you–you don't really want anything, per se? You just–You wanna blow her up in front of me, right? ''[laughing]'' Wow, fuck! Uh... ''[stammers]'' You are dark, and I kinda like it.
:'''Stillwell''': ''[to Homelander]'' Will you ''please'' take Teddy upstairs? 
:'''Homelander''': ''[to Stillwell]'' It's okay. ''[to Butcher]'' Just answer one question for me. Just one: How do you know? How do you know? I mean, you must have some rock-solid proof, right? That it was actually me who killed your wife. You must have that, right? So what is it? Share. We're all very interested. ''[pause; Butcher says nothing]'' Now's not the time to be strong and silent. Go for it. ''[beat; Butcher remains silent]'' Are you telling me that this whole thing is–is based on fucking feelings? On a hunch?
:'''Stillwell''': Will you please take him upstairs?!
:'''Homelander''': A little bit–Madelyn, hold on!
:'''Stillwell''': TAKE HIM UPSTAIRS!
:'''Homelander''': SHUT THE FUCK UP!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Homelander''': You promised me, no more lies. ''You fucking promised me.'' You and Vogelbaum should've got your stories straight. They were ''so'' close–''so '''fucking''' close''–but there were a few little details that were different. So I went back to Vogelbaum, and I managed to squeeze the truth out of him. The real truth. ''[Stillwell starts crying]'' Yes, that's it.
:'''Stillwell''': I'm so sorry. I never should have lied to you. I know now that you don't need to be protected. I'm so sorry. Will you please take Teddy back upstairs?
:'''Homelander''': Did you ever really care about me?
:'''Madelyn Stillwell''': You mean everything to me.
:'''Homelander''': No. No, no. I mean everything to your job. You care more about that fucking baby than you do about me. 
:'''Stillwell''': No. I love you. I love you, I love you. I swear I love you.
:'''Homelander''': But...? ''[Stillwell hesitates]'' Tell me the truth, or I walk out right now.
:'''Stillwell''': ''[quietly]'' I'm scared. I'm scared of you.
:'''Homelander''': What?
:'''Stillwell''': I said I'm scared.
:'''Homelander''': Of?
:'''Stillwell''': ''Of you. I'm scared of '''you.'''''
:'''Homelander''': ''[tenderly]'' Thank you. Thank you for finally being honest.
:''[Homelander kisses her, then kills her by shooting lasers through her eyes]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Butcher wakes up in front of a house in an unknown suburb and sees Homelander standing over him]''
:'''Homelander''': Wakey-wakey. Hey, buddy. You were out for quite a while. You can thank me for saving you sometime later. But for now, time to get up. Come on, you're gonna love this. Come on.
:''[Someone opens the front door and a boy comes running out]''
:'''Ryan''': Mom!
:'''Homelander''': Wow, look at this handsome devil. Hey, pal. You know who I am?
:'''Ryan''': Homelander.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs]'' Yeah, that's right, but… you know who else?
:'''Ryan''': No. 
:''[The other person is revealed to be Becca, which means the boy is her child with Homelander. She and Butcher look absolutely shocked to see each other.]''
:'''Butcher''': Becca?
:'''Homelander''': Huh. Mommy didn't tell you. Well... I'm your father. And we are a family.
:''[The boy's eyes widen in surprise and start glowing just like Homelander's]''

==External links==
{{The Boys}}
[[Category:The Boys (TV series) seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>n5t13nd2mcnwl09pppvjtzaeg21duc9</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>The Boys (TV series)/Season 2</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>279714</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943864</id>
      <parentid>3934843</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:10:31Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* &quot;What I Know&quot; [2.08] */</comment>
      <origin>3943864</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="85917" sha1="tssqysorun3zgo8trvzrvf35hvvrtln" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Season''' [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 1|1]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 2|2]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 3|3]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 4|4]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 5|5]]  [[The Boys (TV series)|Main]]
----
'''''[[w:The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]''''' is an American superhero television series developed by Eric Kripke for [[w:Amazon Prime Video|Amazon Prime Video]]. Based on the comic book of the same name by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson, it follows the eponymous team of vigilantes as they combat superpowered individuals who abuse their abilities.

=== ''&quot;The Big Ride&quot;'' [2.01] ===
:'''Homelander''': ''[giving a speech at Translucent's funeral]'' Today, I can report to the American people that Black Noir has conducted an operation killing the super-terrorist known as Naqib. ''[pause]'' But that doesn't mean sacrifices won't still be made. The proof of that sadly lies before us. For today, we mourn a fallen member of The Seven: Translucent. Murdered in cold blood by the cartel super-terrorist, El Diablo. Before he left, Translucent said to me... ''[scoffs]'' almost as if he knew something was gonna happen, he said, &quot;Hey, Homelander. Tell my son, Maverick, that I love him.&quot; He also said, &quot;You find those super-terrorists.&quot; Well, &quot;supervillains&quot; is really the only term, but he said, &quot;You find them, Homelander. And you stop them.&quot; So I say to you, Maverick, and to all the sons and daughters of this great nation, I will stop them. I will save you. I'll do it for you. For America. ''[places his hand on Translucent's glass coffin]'' For a dear... dear old friend. Goodbye, brother. Thank you.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Annie and Hughie meet each other incognito on the New York subway]''
:'''Hughie''': The burner phone, did you snap the SIM card?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Jesus. When was the last time you slept?
:'''Hughie''': Head down, head down. Sorry. I just... I'm wanted, and you're kinda super famous, so... Did you snap the card?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Okay, yes. Yes, I snapped the card, okay? And no one followed me down here. They can't trace my chip down here. We're okay. 
:'''Hughie''': ''[beat]'' You look good.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Yeah, you... you look good, too. You look very, you know... Yeah, I'm lying. I'm sorry. You look like shit.
:'''Hughie''': I know, I know.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Where are you guys living?
:'''Hughie''': Club Med in Ibiza. ''[Annie laughs and smiles at him]'' It's been awesome. Foam parties will change your life.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[chuckles]'' Idiot.
:'''Hughie''': ''[pause]'' Oh. Um... Here it is.
:''[Hughie hands Annie an employee record for a Supe named Gecko]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Oh, shit. I know him.
:'''Hughie''': You do?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Yeah. I mean, not for a while, but yes. From my Capes for Christ days.
:'''Hughie''': Are you sure you can do this?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I have a choice?
:'''Hughie''': Hey, I... I saw a really great picture of you at the Teen Choice Awards with, um... What's his name, Ansel Adams?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': [[w:Alden Ehrenreich|Alden Ehrenreich]]. Are you stalking me on Instagram?
:'''Hughie''': No. No, of course not. Get over yourself. So did the PR people put you together or what's...?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': No, he's a nice guy.
:'''Hughie''': He's an actor.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': He's an actor who didn't lie to my face every day.
:'''Hughie''': Okay, yeah, I got it. Ouch.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I... Hughie, I just…
:''[Hughie gets up as the train approaches his stop]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Hey… Get some sleep.
:'''Hughie''': I'll sleep when I know you're safe.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mother's Milk''': We gotta get outta here. Now.
:'''Frenchie''': ''[shakes his head]'' Good passports do not come cheap, huh? I sell the RPGs, smuggle in Kalashnikovs, we have enough money. That's it. ''[to Hughie]'' Where will you go, Petit Hughie?
:'''Mother's Milk''': You could just stay here… with Frenchie's gangbanger friends. ''[sarcastically]'' The cots, they got 31 flavors of semen on them. You'll love 'em.
:'''Frenchie''': Oh, and you have a better idea? No? Maybe we can stay–all of us–in your mother's asshole!
:'''Hughie''': Or… maybe we could not run.
:'''Frenchie''': You are like a record that is broken.
:'''Hughie''': Well, we shouldn't just give up. Guys, we get some Compound V, we–we bring it to the New York Times, we burn Vought to the ground.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You got some V, Hughie? 'Cause I don't.
:'''Hughie''': We could… get some. Someone could help us get it.
:'''Mother's Milk''': And who might that be?
:'''Frenchie''': You did not hear the television? We are famous now. Butcher even more so!
:'''Hughie''': Fuck Butcher! We don't need him!
:'''Frenchie''': A-Team had Hannibal. Dirty Dozen, Lee Marvin. Beatles, Brian Epstein. 
:'''Hughie''': We don't need Butcher!
:'''Frenchie''': Okay, who's gonna be our captain? You?
:'''Hughie''': I mean, guys, just–just hear me out.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Shut the fuck UP! ''[gets up; whispering to Hughie]'' This is over.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Blindspot''': Homelander. Wow, you're… It's–It's an honor, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Wait, hold on. You can tell it's me?
:'''Ashley''': Mm-hmm!
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs]'' Wow! That's–That's impressive!
:'''Blindspot''': You don't need super eyes when you have super ears.
:'''Homelander''': Can I just say, that is amazing. And you, my friend, are a true hero. Not because of what you do for a job, but… ''[sighs]'' well, because of what you've overcome.
:'''Blindspot''': Thank you. That means everything coming from you.
:'''Homelander''': Aw, stop it. Come on. Hey, guys, I just have one question if that's okay.
:'''Ashley''': Yeah.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah?
:'''Ashley''': Yeah.
:'''Homelander''': Alright, so… What happens if, I don't know, I do this?
:''[Homelander claps his hands over Blindspot's ears, piercing his inner ear canal. He drops to the floor, screaming and bleeding from his ears.]''
:'''Homelander''': And now you're just another useless fuckin' blind guy. ''[shakes his head]'' This must be some kind of a joke. ''[turns to Ashley]'' Ashley, what made you think I would ''ever'' allow a cripple into The Seven?! ''[sees Ashley staring at Blindspot in utter horror]'' For fuck's sakes, Ashley! Don't look at him! Look at me! ASHLEY! '''LOOK AT ME!'''
:'''Ashley''': Sorry.
:'''Homelander''': Let's get one thing straight. The only reason you're here and not doing corporate PR for fucking DivaCups is that I brought you here. You are dispensable, which means you answer to me.
:'''Ashley''': Okay, okay.
:'''Homelander''': From now on, I will set my own agenda. I'll approve my own marketing and write my own talking points. You will tell me everything that goes on on the 99th floor. And I mean ''everything''. Every call, email, group chat. If a fucking light bulb goes out, you will tell me. And Ashley… in no fucking way do ''you'' decide who goes in The Seven. '''''I decide.'''''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[The Boys are back in their basement hideout after learning about Frenchie's associates' plan to smuggle Supe terrorists into the country]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so?
:'''Frenchie''': They were wired the money from a blind account to smuggle the bastard in. Cold trail.
:'''Hughie''': Amazing fucking friends of yours.
:'''Frenchie''': I never said they were my friends, huh? I only said we will be… safe here.
:'''Hughie''': Okay, okay. Alright, what do we do?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Oh, you just call 911.
:'''Hughie''': What, an anonymous tip? Yeah, I'm sure that'll go straight to the mayor. You saw that video. What if he does that to an airplane? Or the fucking Brooklyn Bridge?
:'''Mother's Milk''': So, what's your big plan, Hughie?
:'''Hughie''': Okay, the CIA lady, right? Rayner?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Right. The same CIA that wants to clamp our nuts into some jumper cables.
:'''Frenchie''': We could call Butcher.
:'''Hughie''': For the last time, we don't need Butcher.
:'''Frenchie''': Then what?
:'''Hughie''': We should... call Annie.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[chuckles sarcastically]'' &quot;Call Annie.&quot; ''[beat; turns to Hughie]'' Annie?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah?
:'''Mother's Milk''': You mean Starlight? 'Cause that's who she is. Vought has her phone so bugged, they're praying that you do that. ''[pause; Hughie looks scared]'' Oh, no. You fucking called her?
:'''Hughie''': No. No, I'm not–I'm not stupid, okay? I texted her…
:'''Mother's Milk''': Oh, fuck.
:'''Hughie''': …and then we met up, but we're getting some Compound V.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shoves Hughie against the wall]'' Fuck you! Are you fuckin' crazy?!
:'''Frenchie''': M.M., easy!
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[to Hughie]'' You fucking crazy?! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!
:'''Hughie''': We were careful! We used burner phones!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Kid, you don't get it. They could've been following you! They could be watching us right fucking now! ''[pause]'' If you're the fucking reason why I can't finish that Vermont country dollhouse, I will fucking end you.
:'''Hughie''': You've been walking around for days like you wanna kick my ass, so do it already.
:''[M.M. stares menacingly at Hughie. Frenchie lays a hand on M.M., who pulls his fist back from Hughie]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[sighs]'' Goddammit! ''[pause; Frenchie motions for Hughie to back off]'' Shit! I don't wanna kick your ass, Hughie. I just don't wanna get dragged back into this shit, alright? I wanna get home to my wife and my kid. That's it. If I still can.
:'''Hughie''': This guy could kill a lot of people.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hughie, let somebody else handle it.
:'''Hughie''': There's no one else! No one's coming to save us!
:'''Mother's Milk''': You don't get it. You are not a soldier. You're not a spy. You're just a kid that sells stereo equipment.
:'''Hughie''': No, I don't! I don't have a job. Or Robin… or my dad, or Annie. One way or another, they all... Now, all I have is this. ''This''. Which is really fucking depressing, but it's true. So maybe I can't be Lee Marvin… but I can be [[w:Harry Potter (character)|Harry Potter]]. Or, you know, [[w:John Connor|John Connor]] or–or whats-her-name from [[w:The Hunger Games|The Hunger Games]].
:'''Frenchie''': [[w:Katniss Everdeen|Katniss]].
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. The point is, I could be that person that nobody thinks is awesome, but it turns out they're kinda fucking awesome!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Gecko''': Yeah, at the, uh, Capes for Christ Bible Camp, yes, totally. Mm-hmm, that Passion play we put on? 
:'''Annie/Starlight''': You were the best Jesus. 
:'''Gecko''': I mean, no one's gonna take a nail through the hand like I can. 
:'''Annie/Starlight''': And Big Game was Pontius Pilate. Oh my God, those freckles. You know he wanted to make out with me?
:'''Gecko''': Pontius Pilate and Mary hooking up?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Mm-hmm. 
:'''Gecko''': Ooh, &quot;sacri-licious.&quot;
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Yeah, we never did.
:'''Gecko''': Why not? He was so cute. 
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Yeah, it just, it was what Ezekiel always said. And my mom, too. That God is watching over you, every second. You know, I thought that He was watching us, and I thought that He'd be upset. 
:'''Gecko''': Yeah, it's a, it's a messed up thing to tell a kid. 
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Yeah. But looking back? I should've made out with Big Game. I should've done a lot more stuff. Because... there is nothing up there. There's nobody in the sky watching over us. Not God, not Homelander. Not anybody. It's all just... lies.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[The newest member of The Seven, Stormfront, livestreams to her fans on Instagram while Homelander and Queen Maeve are filming a military promo.]''
:'''Stormfront''': Here I go, guys! Wish me luck! Oh, FYI, not a real base. ''[pans phone camera around the film set]'' As if Homelander and Maeve are gonna eat MREs and piss in a ditch with the rest of the grunts. 
:'''Ashley''': Uh, hey. Yeah, hi. We're filming right now. Excuse me.
:'''Stormfront''': Also, you might recognize &quot;Army Boy&quot; as Hotel Clerk #2…
:'''Ashley''': Hello, excu–! Okay…
:'''Stormfront''': …from &quot;The Devil's Breath&quot; episode of ''Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders''.
:'''Homelander''': Well, hello.
:'''Stormfront''': Oh, my God, hi! My nana's your biggest fan. I'm Stormfront.
:'''Homelander''': Great.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Oh, right, yeah. From Seattle, right?
:'''Stormfront''': Uh... ''[giggles]'' Portland, actually, Your… Highness. ''[pause; stares at Homelander]'' Holy shit! Your eyes are really fuckin' blue up close!
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs]'' You are fun. It's been a hoot, but we got work to do, ''[to Maeve]'' so let's get back to it.
:'''Stormfront''': Oh, totally. They just wanted me to meet you.
:'''Homelander''': Who?
:'''Stormfront''': Oh, the boys on 82. I'm the new girl.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Wait. What are you talking about?
:'''Stormfront''': Oh, hi. I'm in The Seven, replacing Translucent. God bless his soul. Ink's barely dry, but uh… Yeah, reporting for duty. Fuck, yeah.
:'''Ashley''': No, I don't think that this is–It's not true. ''[to Homelander]'' I don't know anything about this.
:'''Homelander''': Wow. Well, uh… Stormfront, who delivered the good news?
:'''Stormfront''': Oh, uh... Mr. Edgar? The big guy?
:''[Homelander is seething underneath his frozen smile. He stammers as he tries to hold back his anger.]''
:'''Homelander''': Wonderful. Great. ''[claps]'' Alright, great!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Stan Edgar''': To what do I owe the pleasure?
:'''Homelander''': Well, you never come up to 99, so figured I'd pay you a visit.
:'''Edgar''': What a lovely idea.
:'''Homelander''': Right? After all, you run a superhero company and you never check in with your superheroes, do you? Like–oh, I don't know–about the hiring of that girl, for example.
:'''Edgar''': You wished to be consulted on Stormfront.
:'''Homelander''': Well, why not? I signed off on all the rest. I'm the leader of The Seven.
:'''Edgar''': For which you have my undying respect.
:'''Homelander''': See, I don't think I do. No. Not even Madelyn would've dared to try and pull this kind of shit.
:'''Edgar''': Well, of course, you know how important you are to everyone at Vought.
:'''Homelander''': No. No, Stan. I am Vought. You show my photo to some illiterate fuckin' camel jockey in the middle of the Sahara, he's gonna turn around and say, &quot;Homelander,&quot; in perfect American. ''[sits down in a chair]'' You know what? My contract's up at the end of this year. ''[props his feet on the coffee table]'' Maybe it's time I move on. How do you think your shareholders would feel about that?
:''[Edgar stares down Homelander for several moments. The smug look on Homelander's face quickly disappears as it occurs to him that Edgar is not falling for his threats.]''
:'''Edgar''': What do you know about Frederick Vought?
:'''Homelander''': Excuse me?
:'''Edgar''': Frederick. Vought. ''[gestures to a portrait of Vought]'' Our esteemed founder.
:'''Homelander''': Well, I don't know. Um… not a lot, probably. I only read his autobiography… five times?
:'''Edgar''': Not the self-serving bullshit that we peddle to the shareholders. The real story.
:'''Homelander''': Enlighten me.
:'''Edgar''': Got his doctorate from [[w:Munich|Munich]]. Ahead of his time in genetics. Such the rising young star that in '39, [[w:Adolf Hitler|Hitler]] appointed him chief physician at [[w:Dachau|Dachau]], where he enjoyed a ready supply of human subjects on which to test his earliest iterations of Compound V. For which we condemn in the strongest of possible terms. Early in '44, he felt the winds change, got spirited away to [[w:Allies of World War II|the Allies]]. When [[w:J. Robert Oppenheimer|Oppenheimer]] was flailing with the bomb, Dr. Vought already had practical applications of Compound V tested in the field. Heroes like Soldier Boy, killing Germans by the dozen. So Roosevelt pardoned him, and he became as Wonder Bread American as Disney and Edison.
:'''Homelander''': Well, this is a truly fascinating–if not slightly condescending–lecture, but um... I don't think I see the point, Stan.
:'''Edgar''': The point... is that you are under a misconception that we are a superhero company. We are not. What we are, really, is a pharmaceutical company. And you are not our most valuable asset. That would be our confidential formula for Compound V. Which you, manchild that you are, released into the wild.
:'''Homelander''': ''[slight scoff]'' I don't know what you're talking about.
:'''Edgar''': Well, let me remind you. You slipped Compound V to terrorists all over the globe to get you and your cronies into national defense. But maybe at the cost of destroying the whole company.
:'''Homelander''': ''[slams table and approaches, venom in his tone]'' I don't think I appreciate your tone, ''sir. '''Not much at all.'''''
:'''Edgar''': And I don't appreciate that the [[w:Food and Drug Administration|FDA]] now knows about Compound V, or that it's only a matter of time before the public finds out. While you're preening at the Golden Globes, we're busy running around like maniacs trying to clean up the mess you made. I don't have to consult you about Stormfront or anything else. Now... I believe you have a premiere of ''Tek-Knight Lives'' to go to?

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[The Boys see an unknown assailant kick one of their guards down the stairs. Frenchie's associates aim their guns as the assailant walks down the steps. The assailant is revealed to be Butcher in casual clothes.]''
:'''Butcher''': Alright. Easy does it, lads. Easy does it. ''[points at the guard]'' Like, I tried to tell this cunt... I'm with that lot, yeah?
:''[Frenchie salutes Butcher and motions for his associates to lower their weapons]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': What the fuck are you wearin'?
:'''Butcher''': That is a good question.
:'''Hughie''': ''[to Frenchie]'' You called him?
:'''Frenchie''': I'm sorry, Petit Hughie. It's not a game now. We need a real captain.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Hughie]'' Frenchie's right. This is a fuckin' mess, son. We got a Supe terrorist, Rayner's blown her canister, and we're the most wanted cunts in the country. But don't you worry… Daddy's home.

=== ''&quot;Proper Preparation and Planning&quot;'' [2.02] ===
:'''Hughie''': Where are you going?
:'''Butcher''': Goin' to meet a contact.
:'''Hughie''': Who?
:'''Butcher''': Someone who can help us find this Supe terrorist cunt.
:'''Hughie''': Who is the contact? What is their actual name?
:'''Butcher''': You'll love it.
:'''Hughie''': No, I won't. I won't love it, I never love it. I never fucking love it!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Female Reporter #1''': Tell us how fun it is to have all this girl power.
:'''Male Reporter #1''': Can you repeat that, but say, &quot;strong is the new pretty&quot; right at the end?
:'''Male Reporter #2''': Do girls make better heroes?
:'''Female Reporter #2''': Do girls make better heroes than boys?
:'''Male Reporter #3''': Do girls make better heroes?
:'''Stormfront''': Look, uh, no offense. I–I get you have your talking points, but why does it matter whether heroes have a dick or a vag? I mean, shouldn't we all just, you know, be competent at our jobs? I don't think girls do anything better. I think chicks and dicks are in it together. ''[hears her phone vibrating]'' Oh, that's me! 
:'''Ashley''': ''[mouthing]'' Are you fucking kidding me?
:'''Stormfront''': Sorry, Ashy! Vought won't let me have pockets in this thing. You can see every crease in my ass. You can practically see up Starlight's uterus. You wanna talk about girl power? Let's talk about getting some pockets.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Homelander''': When I was your age, I didn't have many friends either.
:'''Ryan Butcher''': Mom says being lonely makes you know yourself better.
:'''Homelander''': Well... that's not wrong, I suppose. Can I tell you a secret? Man-to-man, you know? ''[chuckles]'' My dad and I... we never played catch in the yard with a World Series ball. The truth is… I never had a dad. Or a mom.
:'''Ryan''': Wait, you... You didn't?
:'''Homelander''': See, sometimes it's hard, Ryan, being... ''[sighs]'' superior to every single other person on the planet. It's–It's... isolating. And gods... should not have to feel that kind of pain. Because that is what we are, Ryan. You and me… we're gods. Son, we can do anything we want. And no one can stop us. Now, that... that's a good feeling. A really good feeling. And now, you... and me... can share it together.
:'''Ryan''': I… I–I should probably go to bed now, you know?
:'''Homelander''': Sure. ''[pats Ryan]''
:''[Homelander gets up from Ryans' bed and turns off the lights. He turns around before leaving.]''
:'''Homelander''': I love you, son. ''[pause; Ryan just stares at him]'' You know, you can say it back.
:'''Ryan''': Um, I… love you, too.
:'''Homelander''': This is nice. 
:''[Homelander leaves Ryan's bedroom and closes the door. He sees Becca standing close by.]''
:'''Homelander''': Your turn, Mom.
:'''Becca Butcher''': You need to leave.
:'''Homelander''': Excuse me?
:'''Becca''': You need to get the fuck out of my house.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat]'' What happens one day when Ryan asks to go to a baseball game, swim in the ocean, or eat at a Burger King? How do you think he's gonna feel when he finds out that you've lied to him his whole life? You think he's gonna be happy that you kept him in this pretty prison? Or... do you think he'll fucking despise you? Hmm? Let's go ask him.
:'''Becca''': Don't.
:'''Homelander''': You were right. I'm not gonna get bored and move on. I'm not going anywhere. So feel free to tell Dr. Park to go fuck himself.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Hey, you don't know me. I'm not a sellout.
:'''Stormfront''': Oh. Okay, cool. ''[playfully throws her fists up]'' Congratulations. ''[chuckles; notices Annie staring at her]'' Oh, come on. Why do you care what I think?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Maybe… I wanna say everything that you're saying about Vought. Maybe I think Vought's…
:'''Stormfront''': ''[beat; looks up and around]'' What? What's Vought? ''[pause; Annie says nothing]'' Oh, my God. Everyone is so fucking stage-managed. Life isn't actually a PR strategy! You can say what you think!
:'''Annie/Starlight''': What if it's not safe?
:'''Stormfront''': You are literally bulletproof. What the fuck is gonna happen? ''[brief pause]'' Okay, who's the greatest superhero of all time?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Homelander.
:'''Stormfront''': No, [[w:Pippi Longstocking|Pippi Longstocking]]. ''[pause]'' Pippi Longstocking. She's a nine-year-old girl. Lived in a house all by herself. Pet monkey. Could lift a horse with one hand. You–You haven't read Pippi Longstocking?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I guess not.
:'''Stormfront''': Hmm… Okay. Well, uh, I used to dress as her every Halloween, and all the girls dressed like Disney sluts would make fun of me. And you know what I thought? I thought, &quot;Who fucking cares?&quot; Pippi didn't care. She never cared about being polite or cute. Look, fuck this world for confusing nice with good. Be a bitch if you want. Be whatever. Just drop the mask once in a while. Feels good. You can finally breathe. 
:''[As Stormfront turns around, Annie quickly steals the wallet with the Compound V sample from Stormfront's backpack]''
:'''Stormfront''': Oh, and if someone sticks a dick in your mouth, bite it off. Pippi Longstocking would bite a &quot;D&quot;, that's for damn sure.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[The Boys crawl out of warehouse debris after being attacked by Kimiko's brother, Kenji. Butcher walks threateningly towards Hughie, who tried to stop him from shooting them.]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': No! No, Butcher! No! Easy! Easy, Butcher! 
:'''Hughie''': The CIA would've locked him up in some black box forever, and she never would've seen her brother again! 
:'''Mother's Milk''': Easy! Both of you, please. Not now.
:'''Butcher''': Right. ''[pause; points at Hughie]'' You… ''fuck off''. The rest of you, with me.
:''[Frenchie and M.M. stay behind with Hughie while Butcher walks back to retrieve his rifle]''
:'''Butcher''': Well, come on, don't piss about. We ain't got all night. ''[pause]'' The fuck you waitin' for? ''[beat; to M.M.]'' Are you tellin' me that her family is worth more to you than you seein' your own?
:'''Mother's Milk''': No, I'm not. But Kimiko is one of us. I'll find another way.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' I suppose you agree, don't ya?! Since your tongue is halfway down her arse! Jesus, it's like Hughie's infected you both with a raging case of vagina. ''[pause]'' Becca's alive.
:'''Hughie''': What?
:'''Butcher''': She's alive, and Vought's holdin' her captive somewhere. 
:'''Mother's Milk''': Butcher, if you–
:'''Butcher''': No, I'm not stark ravin', alright? I fuckin' saw her. She had a little boy with her, eh… The spittin' image of Homelander. I thought he just wanted to humiliate me, show me what he'd done to my girl before he gave me the good news. Then, I woke up three hours later in a Tony fuckin' Cicero's. God knows why. I gotta find her, and I gotta get her the fuck out of there… and I need your help to do it.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Are you fucking with us?
:'''Butcher''': I find the terrorist for Mallory, she finds Becca for me. That's the deal I made. I know what I've done to you, alright? And by rights, you should tell me to fuck off. But still… I'm askin'.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''A-Train''': Who, uh–Who we sexting?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': What–What are you doing here? Get out!
:''[A-Train uses his super speed to steal the wallet from Annie. He begins unzipping it.]'' 
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[stutters]'' Look, you got me. I'm having a heavy flow day. It's, uh…
:'''A-Train''': ''[takes out the Compound V sample and holds it up]'' What are you doing with this?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': This is not how it looks, okay? It's just a misunderstanding.
:'''A-Train''': Homelander should've charred your ass as soon as he found out that you were fucking Hughie.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Hughie saved your life! We both did!
:'''A-Train''': Your mistake.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Okay, if you just give me a minute, I can explain!
:'''A-Train''': You know, I just want you to think about me when you're gettin' the skin peeled off your face, bitch.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[pause]'' You're not gonna tell anyone anything.
:'''A-Train''': Who says that I haven't already?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': 'Cause then I'd already be dead. You're not gonna do shit.
:'''A-Train''': Why's that?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': 'Cause you killed your fucking girlfriend. That's what you told Hughie, right? That you killed Popclaw?
:'''A-Train''': You can't prove anything.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Did she suffer? Did you look into her big, sad eyes while you did it?
:'''A-Train''': Fuck you.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Yeah, see, I looked at the Vought forensics report, and… ''[exhales deeply]'' Wow. All those needles jammed into her arm at the same time? I mean, one of them actually shattered the bone. Did you know that? Would someone really do that to themselves? I mean, doesn't look like an accident to me. I mean, Vought's happy to bury it, but say if… Sports Illustrated found out.
:'''A-Train''': If you do that, I'm gonna take you down right with me. And then, we'll both be dead.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[scoffs]'' Go ahead. Fucking try it. I don't give a shit.
:''[A-Train lets Annie take the Compound V sample from his hand and walks out of the Seven's common room]''

=== ''&quot;Over the Hill with the Swords of a Thousand Men&quot;'' [2.03] ===
:'''Frenchie''': ''[after he discovers their boat is stolen]'' I thought you said this boat belongs to a friend.
:'''Butcher''': Well, a stranger is just a friend you ain't met yet.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''A-Train''': What… did you do?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I don't know what you're talking about.
:'''A-Train''': Oh, come on. I saw you with the V in your hand.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Yeah, and you let me walk away with it, so… this is kind of on you, too. If I go down, you come with me. Pretty sure they'd kill us both.
:'''A-Train''': ''[sighs]'' You don't get it. You don't fuck with the money. You never fuck with the money. We're gonna lose everything. I mean, cars, houses, bonuses–
:'''Annie/Starlight''': There are more important things.
:'''A-Train''': You know, the only people that say that… are the people who grew up with money.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie is watching a breaking news report about the discovery of Compound V as he leaves a voice message for Annie]''
:'''Hughie''': Uh, hey. Is this you? You did it. We did it! Um, call me. Call me back when you get a chance.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Did what? ''[beat; watches the news for a moment]'' You did this?
:'''Hughie''': Uh, yeah. Starlight did mostly, I'm pretty sure. But I just gave her an old alley-oop.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hughie… HUGHIE, YES! ''[hugs Hughie and lifts him up]'' HUGHIE! Dude, look what you fuckin' did! Oh, my God!
:'''Butcher''': You lads touchin' your tips?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Look at what the kid just did.
:'''Hughie''': Me and Starlight, but yeah.
:'''Frenchie''': Petit Hughie?!
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuckin' kid!
:''[Frenchie kisses Hughie full on the mouth]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughing]'' Oh, shit!
:'''Frenchie''': Yes!
:'''Butcher''': Nice one.
:'''Mother's Milk''': hat's all you got? We've been trying to do this shit for years, Vought's finally fuckin' going down, the kid did it, and &quot;Nice one&quot;?!
:'''Butcher''': Alright, ''real'' nice one.
:'''Hughie''': You can't even give me this, can you? Not one goddamn win. 
:'''Butcher''': I'll tell ya what. When we're all done here, I'll buy you a nice, big family-size bottle of top-shelf lube, and I'll tickle your balls till you beg me to stop. And even then, I won't. I just won't do it. But right now, we got a Supe terrorist below deck and shit could go sideways just like… ''[snaps his fingers]'' So all of ya, keep your fuckin' eyes on the ball, yeah?
:''[Butcher walks out of the living room. Frenchie reassuringly pats Hughie's arm.]''
:'''Frenchie''': Don't worry about him.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Yeah, fuck him. You did great.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': ''[leaving a message for Annie]'' Hey, Annie, it's me again. I was just wondering, have you ever seen the music video for that Billy Joel song &quot;You're Only Human&quot;? There's this kid and he's climbing up a bridge and he's gonna kill himself, but then Billy Joel steps out with his harmonica and tells him, &quot;Stop, you just have to wait for your second wind&quot;. And now, I feel like I'm–I'm that kid… and I'm gonna drown, and... and thank God I found my second wind because it's–it's you. ''[tearfully]'' You're my second wind. Um... Look, I know it's exciting taking down Vought and being like James Bond and everything… but you've gotta be careful, because that stuff can go to shit really quick. And you wind up hurting the people that... you love. Like the way that I hurt you. Um... Anyhoo, that's all I wanted to say. Second wind. Um… Okay, thanks. Bye.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[The Seven are attending an emergency meeting with Stan Edgar]'' 
:'''Edgar''': I know I don't come up to 99 enough, and I apologize for that. But times like this ''[points at his iPad, which shows footage of Kenji]'' tend to give us clarity, don't they? You and me are partners after all. A symbiotic part of a larger thing. A living thing named Vought. And that's how we'll get through this: Together, as Vought.
:'''A-Train''': But, sir… I gotta say… ''[pause; looks at Annie and shakes his head]'' We didn't know about this Compound V shit. None of us.
:'''Edgar''': Is that so? Well, we're all victims here, A-Train. But we'll get to the bottom of it. I promise. Right now, catching this superterrorist is–
:'''Homelander''': Villain. Super''villain''.
:'''Edgar''': Sure, whatever. It must be our priority, and it changes the conversation.
:'''A-Train''': So you want us to go out there? Now? I mean, we still need to be prepped by legal and PR. ''[scoffs]'' We'll be eaten alive out there. 
:'''Edgar''': There's no time for that.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Well, I'm sorry, but I don't think we have to damage-control your fuck-up.
:'''Homelander''': Hey, guys… Enough. We gotta pull together here.
:'''Edgar''': Thank you, Homelander.
:'''Homelander''': Shhh. Not you. Us. The Seven. See, ''[gets up from chair]'' it doesn't matter who made us or how we got here. The point is… We are here. Together. Family. You guys… you are my real family. ''[points at Edgar]'' This guy… he doesn't care about us. We're not his partners; we're his product. So who gives a shit if Vought burns to the fuckin' ground? 
:'''Edgar''': You should think before you say something you don't mean.
:'''Homelander''': Really? Should I? We are ''not'' Vought! You see, companies, they come and go. But talent… Talent is forever. The world still needs superheroes, and ''that'', family–that's what we are. So let's get out there and do what it is we do. Let's take this cocksucker down.
:''[Cut to The Seven all walking out of the main conference room]'' 
:'''Stormfront''': Fuck Vought, huh? I did not see that coming from you.
:'''Homelander''': Maybe you don't know me that well.
:'''Stormfront''': Maybe I don't.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[The Boys are all covered in blood and guts after impaling The Deep's whale with their speedboat.]''
:'''Butcher''': ''[spits out whale blood]'' Fuckin' diabolical! Where's Hughie?!
:''[Butcher sees Hughie lying down inside the whale carcass in utter shellshock]''
:'''Butcher''': Hughie! Oh, geez. You alright? Come on, son. We gotta leg it. Deep's here, and The Seven won't be too far behind.
:'''Hughie''': Um, you know what? You know, you guys go ahead. You guys go ahead. I'm good.
:'''Butcher''': Eh? What?
:'''Hughie''': Just gonna sit here and wait, if you don't mind.
:'''Butcher''': What the fuck are you waitin' for?!
:'''Hughie''': ''[sighs]'' My second wind.
:'''Butcher''': Alright, son. Come on. ''[tries to get Hughie up]'' Come on.
:'''Hughie''': GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF ME!
:'''Butcher''': Geez! Alright, fine. Suit yourself. ''[pause; to M.M. and Frenchie as he gets out]'' C'mon, let's go!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Whoa, we can't leave the kid, man.
:'''Butcher''': Pinocchio is stayin' put. Have at it.
:''[Later, M.M. is able to convince Hughie to join them, but Hughie is still in a daze as they try to escape through the sewers.]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hey, the kid's fallin' apart. You know that, right?
:'''Butcher''': Well, what'd you expect? He's a fuckin' civilian.
:'''Mother's Milk''': No, no, no. It's not just him. It's all of us.
:'''Frenchie''': ''[to Hughie]'' Move the feet. Just move the feet, come on. Move.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We're at our breaking point–at each other's throats–and you keep pushin' us and pushin'. It's like–
:'''Butcher''': Right over the fuckin' finish line. We just need to keep our shit together a little bit longer, okay? We hand that cunt over, and I get Becca, and you get your girls.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Butcher–
:'''Butcher''': We're right fuckin'–
:'''Mother's Milk''': Butcher! Butcher, we're right there. Hughie's not gonna make it. And you need that kid more than any one of us. He's your canary.
:'''Butcher''': My canary?
:'''Mother's Milk''': You let your canary die, how you gonna know when you've gone too far?
:'''Butcher''': Oh… I mean, what a load of bollocks. ''[pause; looks briefly at Hughie]'' Hell, I tried, alright? The kid doesn't want a part of me, so fuck him.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Uh, who invited you… exactly?
:'''The Deep''': Starlight. Listen, what I did was unforgivable. I'm gonna do whatever in my power to renew my light. Not just for you, but for all the female people that I've offended.
:'''Stormfront''': Renew your light? Did you just fucking join The Church of the Collective?
:'''The Deep''': Maybe.
:'''Stormfront''': You're an idiot.
:'''The Deep''': Hey, easy on the religious persecution. Okay, new girl? ''[to Annie]'' Starlight, maybe one day you can welcome me back into The Seven. I know my road is long and hard.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Are you serious? There is no ''fucking way'' you're coming back!
:'''The Deep''': There's no need for language.
:'''Homelander''': Alright, enough! We do not have time for this. 
:'''Stormfront''': ''[holds hand up to stop Homelander; to Annie]'' Look, I am with you, sister, but first we have to go get the terrorist, okay?
:'''Homelander''': Alright, everyone in the tunnels.
:'''The Deep''': Yeah, everyone in the tunnels.
:'''Homelander''': Not you. Anyone gets eyeballs on the target, he's mine. Understood?
:'''The Deep''': ''[to Black Noir]'' Go get 'em, Noir.
:'''Homelander''': Alright, you… need to hang back a bit, okay?
:'''The Deep''': Okay.
:'''Homelander''': Still got some work to do with the ladies, but it's gonna be okay. They'll be back in no time.
:'''The Deep''': Really?
:'''Homelander''': Sure. One other thing: You ripped your vest.
:'''The Deep''': What?
:'''Homelander''': Your gill is showing. Cover it up. It's disgusting.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie runs into Annie while The Seven search for the rest of the Boys]''
:'''Hughie''': You got my message. Annie, I–
:''[Annie uses her light powers to blind Hughie and throw him back. Homelander comes walking out of the opposite tunnel and sees Hughie.]''
:'''Homelander''': Oh, come on! You gotta be fucking kidding me! This guy? Again?!
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I did not know…
:'''Homelander''': Shut it. What, do you got rocks in your fucking head? Come here. Alright, I'd like you to do something for me, okay? Kill him.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': N–No, wait. ''[stuttering]'' He… He–He's wanted. Shouldn't we... take him to the police?
:''[Unbeknownst to them, Butcher is watching Annie and Homelander standing over Hughie]''
:'''Homelander''': Yes, he is. Yes, we should. Kill him. Right now. ''[to Hughie]'' Chicks, right, Hughie? ''[pause; to Annie]'' Oh, for God's sakes. Come on, it's easy. Hands in the air, like you just don't care. ''[pulls Annie's fists up; chuckles]'' Kill. Do it. ''[beat; Annie is still silent]'' More incentive? Okay. You kill him or I'll fucking kill you both. '''Do it.'''
:''[Hughie nods to Annie and closes his eyes, appearing ready to accept his fate. Just as Annie is about to attack Hughie again, Butcher sneaks up behind Homelander.]''
:'''Butcher''': Oi, cunt!
:'''Homelander''': William. ''[laughs]'' What a surprise! Hey… You know, I had a great breakfast with your wife this morning. Pancakes. Mmmm, de-''licious.''
:'''Butcher''': Yeah? Eat this, motherfucker.

=== ''&quot;Nothing Like It in the World&quot;'' [2.04] ===
:'''Mallory''': I ever tell you about my recurring dream? I'm on stage alone at Carnegie Hall. The audience is made up of every poor bastard who got killed by the superheroes.
:'''Butcher''': What are they doin'?
:'''Mallory''': Nothing. They're all just watching me. Waiting for me to do something.
:'''Butcher''': We hit a dead end on Rayner. I'm sorry.
:'''Mallory''': Christ, I don't wanna hear sorry. Sorry's not an option. We can't have anonymous skull-exploding assassins walking around. What if they hit the Speaker next? Or the President?
:''[Mallory gives Butcher a file envelope. Butcher takes out an old poster with Liberty on it.]''
:'''Butcher''': Liberty?
:'''Mallory''': You mentioned her before. Second-tier Supe, active in the '70s. She was all over Susan's private server. Get Marvin to talk to this Liberty. Address on the back, North Carolina.
:'''Butcher''': Alright. We'll see what we can find.
:'''Mallory''': Wait. ''[Butcher turns around]'' I found Becca. Or at least, our best guess where she is. Vought facility, armed to the teeth. Won't be easy.
:'''Butcher''': We had a deal. I didn't come through.
:'''Mallory''': Jesus, Butcher. I'm just giving it to you. It's my fault you stopped searching for her. I put a target on Homelander's back and pointed you right at him. I didn't know Becca was still… It'd be good to have one less person in that audience staring at me.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Annie gets into an elevator at Vought HQ. Homelander walks in just as the elevator door is about to close]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Hey, Homelander.
:''[When the elevator starts going up, Homelander presses the emergency button to stop it. He takes off his right glove.]''
:'''Homelander''': Maeve begged me to spare your life. So I gave you a second chance, and... you failed me.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': What are you talking about?
:'''Homelander''': No more lies.
:''[Homelander shoves Annie up against the wall and grabs her by the throat]''
:'''Homelander''': You go ahead and scream as much as you want. ''[jabs his other hand hard against her side]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': What–What did I do?
:'''Homelander''': I told you to kill Hugh Campbell, and you ''hesitated.''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I–I said that we should go to the police!
:'''Homelander''': You disobeyed my orders because ''you're '''with him.''''' ''[presses his hand harder into Annie]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Fuck you! Hughie Campbell broke my fucking heart. Worse than anyone ever has. And part of me wants to blast his fucking face off, so no, I'm not &quot;with him.&quot; But if you wanna kill me because I'm not a murderer and I won't straight-up execute someone, then go ahead. So, tell me… Am I lying?
:''[Annie and Homelander continue angrily staring at each other. Cut to the elevator working again, with Homelander walking out and letting Annie go.]''
:'''Homelander''': You're not lying.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[A-Train is upset over seeing Shockwave at Vought. He confronts Ashley, fearing that Shockwave might replace him in The Seven.]''
:'''A-Train''': Don't bullshit me, Ashley!
:'''Ashley''': Shockwave is just here to talk about Vought for Tots. I swear to God!
:'''A-Train''': What the fuck is Vought for Tots?
:'''Ashley''': It's a new fitness outreach for toddlers. Apparently, they're getting obese.
:'''A-Train''': Well, shit! I fucking love fat kids! Use me!
:'''Homelander''': ''[enters Ashley's office]'' Oh, good, you're here. ''[to Ashley]'' You tell him yet?
:'''A-Train''': Tell me what?
:'''Ashley''': I thought we were gonna have a strategy meeting.
:'''Homelander''': A-Train, you're out.
:'''A-Train''': Out of what?
:'''Homelander''': Out of The Seven. You did great, but we're going in a different direction, so... You're out.
:'''A-Train''': What the fuck? ''[to Ashley]'' You just said everything was fine!
:'''Ashley''': You're gonna have a whole year of parades, tribute concerts. You're gonna hit the talk show circuit. You're–You're gonna have your own reality show on Vought+. The outpouring of love and gratitude is gonna be off the charts.
:'''A-Train''': Oh, this is bullshit! You used to get my fuckin' coffee! ''[pause; looks at Ashley and Homelander knowingly]'' Oh, fuck this! I'm not going!
:'''Homelander''': A-Train, you can't run.
:'''A-Train''': Yes, I can run. I just... I–I just...
:'''Homelander''': Buddy… You think I don't know what's been going on? It's your heart. I doubt you're even cracking the Top 20 anymore, and that makes The Seven–me–look pretty ridiculous. ''[pats A-Train on the shoulder]'' I do want you to know, this was really hard for me, okay? It's nothing personal. We'll always be friends and, uh... etcetera. Attaboy.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[eating [[w:doughnut|doughnut]] in diner]'' Hmm.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You two want a room? ''[Annie stares cluelessly]'' You and the doughnut.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Oh. I'm sorry. It's just, um, my mom never let me have this stuff.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hmm.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': It's just... Weight gain in our household was a capital crime. But my dad, um, he'd take me to Dunkin' on the sly. And he would get me a chocolate cream-filled doughnut, and he'd ask me to tell him about my day. And he'd... he'd listen.
:'''Mother's Milk''': [[w:Baskin-Robbins|Baskin-Robbins]]. Every Sunday after church. My pops, he'd always ask for samples. Now, this place had 31 flavors, and that man would taste each and every flavor every time we'd go up in there. There'd be a line all the way out the door. People would be mad as hell. Yelling, cussing, &quot;Yo, my man, get your fucking ice cream and bounce!&quot; You think that stopped him? Hell nah, he would stand right there and order another sample. &quot;Can I please try the Jamoca Almond Fudge, please?&quot; My ass was so embarrassed. I'd be sitting there, wishing the floor would just open up and just swallow me whole. Man. 'Course, now I'd give a year off my life just to be able to see that man going through spoon after spoon just one last time. 
:'''Annie/Starlight''': When did he...?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Sixteen years ago. ''[toasting]'' To fathers and sugar.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': To fathers and sugar.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[M.M, Hughie and Annie visit a woman named Valerie Hunter, whose family had an incident involving Liberty]''
:'''Valerie''': I mean... It's been 48 years. What good is dredging all this stuff up now gonna do?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Honestly, we don't know. But we still need to hear it.
:'''Valerie''': I tried to get people to listen. ''[laughs]'' Lord knows, so many times I tried. But a little black girl accusing a white superhero of murder in these parts?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Yeah.
:'''Valerie''': It was during one of those summer rains that you just knew was coming by the smell in the air. I was eleven years old, asleep in the back seat of my folks' Ford. My brother Myron, he was driving.
:''[In a flashback, Myron sees a woman standing in the middle of the road while driving with a young Valerie. He slams on the brakes, causing the tires to screech.]'' 
:'''Myron''': What's the trouble, ma'am?
:'''Liberty''': Get out. ''[tries to grab Myron]''
:'''Myron''': Hey!
:'''Liberty''': Your car was involved in a robbery tonight.
:'''Myron''': No, it wasn't. I–I had it. I don't know nothing about any robbery.
:'''Liberty''': Just confess! ''[punches Myron]''
:'''Myron''': Why are you doing this to me, lady? Ain't you supposed to be a hero?
:'''Liberty''': I ''am'' a hero… for killing a black piece of shit like you. 
:''[Valerie watches Liberty punch Myron so hard, blood sprays onto the windshield. She walks outside and sees that Myron's face is severely disfigured. Cut back to Valerie in the present day.]''
:'''Valerie''': I wanted to go to the police. But my folks, they thought it was pointless. So when that man from Vought–When he showed up and he offered us that money, we just took it. Two thousand dollars. That is what my brother's life was worth. Just ''two thousand dollars''. But y'all have gotta promise me that you won't tell anybody that I sat here and I talked to you. Because if that woman finds out that I opened my mouth, she's gonna kill me.
:'''Hughie''': Ms. Hunter. That woman, Liberty… Nobody's seen her since 1979. I mean, she's probably dead by now.
:'''Valerie''': ''[chuckles]'' Oh, no, no. ''[pause; grabs a newspaper from a table]'' Right here. That's her… right there. ''That's'' Liberty.
:''[Valerie shows Stormfront on the front page, leaving Hughie, Annie and M.M. speechless]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Who the fuck do you think you are? What, you think I don't see it? Trying to undermine me, steal my team.
:'''Stormfront''': Hold on a minute.
:'''Homelander''': Let me tell you right now, it won't work. I'm the face of The Seven! Not you! Me! I still score higher in every demo that counts: 18 to 34, 18 to 49, 25 to 54! They all love '''me!'''
:'''Stormfront''': ''[sarcastically]'' Well, congratulations. I mean, this constant need to be loved by everyone is kinda pathetic, but um… Yay! ''[beat; Homelander activates his laser eyes]'' Okay. Okay, calm down. ''[pause; Homelander's eyes return to normal]'' I clearly pushed you a little far. I'm sorry. Look, I'm… I'm just trying to help.
:'''Homelander''': Really? How? By taking what's mine? Let me tell you something right now: I built this team from the ground up, and there is no fucking way that ''anyone'' is gonna take it away from me.
:'''Stormfront''': You spent $273 million on that &quot;Saving America&quot; bullshit, and I am running circles around you with five guys on laptops churning out memes. I practically pay them with Arby's gift cards. You… You can't win the whole country anymore. No one can. So why are you even trying? You don't need fifty million people to love you. You need five million people fucking pissed. Emotion sells, anger sells. You have fans, I have soldiers. ''[pause]'' Look, I know that you probably won't believe this. I think that you are the best of us. I think that you are everything we should be. You just need a little help connecting with your audience. You know, change with the times. God knows I did.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat]'' I don't need help connecting with my audience. Thank you.
:'''Stormfront''': Okay. Well, just know I'm always here. Door is always open for anything.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Butcher''': You're late. Where's the kid? Babe, we gotta get in the truck or we'll miss our chance.
:'''Becca''': I'm–I'm not leaving.
:'''Butcher''': What are you talkin' about? Of course you are. Grab the kid and let's go.
:'''Becca''': You don't really want Ryan to come with us.
:'''Butcher''': Of course I do. I said I'd take him, didn't I?
:'''Becca''': And I wanted to believe you.
:'''Butcher''': Then, believe me. Now, come on. We've gotta get a shift on.
:'''Becca''': Listen, if the three of us leave, you're gonna find a way to get rid of him. I know it. It–It won't be in an obvious way. And it won't be right away, but you will.
:'''Butcher''': No, Becca. No.
:'''Becca''': Billy, I know you. I know you better than anybody, and I saw it in your face last night. I see it now.
:'''Butcher''': He's a billion-dollar piece of Vought property. They are not gonna let him go. You and me, Becca. You and me, we've got a chance. Babe, it's Ryan they care about, not us.
:'''Becca''': Yeah, and then what? And then Vought raises him without a mother, right? Then, we have Homelander all over again. Then, there's two fucking assholes in this world.
:'''Butcher''': We could disappear, alright? Just start again, start a new family.
:'''Becca''': I have a son!
:'''Butcher''': He's a fuckin' Supe freak! ''[pause; sighs]'' Fuck. I'm… Listen, I… I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. Becca… Becca, please come with me.
:'''Becca''': You were wrong about me. Do you know that? You put me on this pedestal, and the truth is, I never knew how to save you. You were always one bad day away from pounding someone to death in a parking lot.
:'''Butcher''': That's not true.
:'''Becca''': Billy… He raped me, and when I found out I was pregnant, I went to Vought. I didn't come to you. I didn't come to you because I was scared. 'Cause I knew that you'd chase after him and you would seek revenge and it wouldn't be good for anybody!
:'''Butcher''': I love you.
:'''Becca''': ''[starts crying]'' I love you. But the hate that you carry and the warpath that you're on, it started so long before me. I can't.
:''[Becca hugs and kisses Butcher, then walks back to her car]''
:'''Butcher''': Becs, I'm not leavin' without you!
:'''Becca''': You have to go, please. ''[holds up a tracker]'' Every guard in this goddamn place is gonna be here in sixty seconds. You have to go. Please. I'm sorry. ''[sobbing]'' I'm so sorry.

=== ''&quot;We Gotta Go Now&quot;'' [2.05] ===
:''[Ashley shows Homelander a viral video of him killing an innocent civilian boy after confronting a Supe in an African village]''
:'''Homelander''': Oh… ''[scoffs]'' So, what? They're all starving, but one of them's got a fuckin' cell phone?
:'''Ashley''': You know, I really wish you had cleared this with me before you went over there.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, Jesus Christ. I don't have to clear shit with you, Ashley. I saw a chance for an easy win, and I took it. How many views?
:'''Ashley''': Well, they posted last night. We scrubbed it seventeen minutes later, but that's forever, and there's been some blowback.
:'''Homelander''': Blowback? Alright, fine, fine, fine. So, what? I–I'm down a point? Point and a half? Two?
:'''Ashley''': ''[clears throat]'' No, nine and a half.
:'''Homelander''': Nine and a half? Nine... Nine and a half? 
:''[Ashley switches to another video of a huge crowd protesting against Homelander]''
:'''Homelander''': What, th–they're fucking protesting… me? Oh, my God. Th–They're pro... They're protesting me.
:'''Ashley''': They've been at the Tower all afternoon.
:'''Homelander''': Why didn't you fucking say something?! Goddammit. Don't these fucking ingrates realize I killed that asshole for them? What do they think &quot;Saving America&quot; fucking means, anyway?
:'''Ashley''': Well, PR is drafting a response as we speak. Acknowledgment, apology, action.
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no. Apology? No. You schedule a press conference, and–and I'll clean it up myself.
:'''Ashley''': Uh, well, Mr. Edgar... and legal would like your official position to be &quot;no comment at this time.&quot; Please, no press until the crisis team has an actionable strategy, okay?
:''[Homelander runs into Stormfront as he walks back to his trailer]''
:'''Stormfront''': Bad day? Hey, I'm with you! Fuck these maxi pad-wearing ingrate hicks. But you know, there's a way to handle it.
:'''Homelander''': I do not need your fucking help.
:'''Stormfront''': Sure. You seem to be doing so well on your own. Well, I'm here when you want me.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Butcher''': Hello?
:'''Hughie''': Oh. Sorry, I thought I was getting your voicemail.
:'''Butcher''': That why you called five times?
:'''Hughie''': No, I just thought you should know Liberty–that Supe that Rayner was looking into… turns out it's Stormfront. Vought changed her name, they've been moving her around like a fucking Catholic priest.
:'''Butcher''': Right.
:'''Hughie''': Um… She probably murdered Rayner. Annie's trying to figure out why, but... you know, who the fuck knows.
:'''Butcher''': Well, as long as Starlight's on the job, we're sorted then, yeah? 
:'''Hughie''': I'm not... I'm not mad, you know?
:'''Butcher''': What d'you mean?
:'''Hughie''': I–I just want you to know that, um... Yes, you are leaving us holding the bag on this shitshow, but I want you to know that I–I get it. It's Becca. I'd do the same thing. I'm not mad.
:'''Butcher''': Well... wouldn't matter if you were.
:'''Hughie''': How is she?
:'''Butcher''': Lovelier than the day I met her.
:'''Hughie''': ''[pause; hears Butcher squeezing a dog toy]'' Where are you?
:'''Butcher''': Headin' off grid. Argentina, maybe. Early retirement.
:'''Hughie''': Butcher?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, what?
:'''Hughie''': You could've said goodbye.
:'''Butcher''': I know we've been through some shit together. ''[beat]'' You were... You were always like my canary, I suppose. Thank you. Goodbye, Hughie. ''[hangs up phone]''
:'''Hughie''': Your canary? Hello?
:''[Hughie goes into the living room of their basement hideout, where M.M. is watching [[w:Outlander (TV series)|Outlander]] on his laptop]''
:'''Hughie''': What are you watching?
:'''Mother's Milk''': A show called ''Eat My Dick''.
:'''Hughie''': ''[defensively]'' Okay.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Have you seen Frenchie or Kimiko?
:'''Hughie''': No. No, not... for a while. Why?
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[quietly]'' Fuck.
:'''Hughie''': Uh, listen. I just got off the phone with Butcher and I think something might be wrong. Like really, really wrong.
:'''Mother's Milk''': What would make you think that?
:'''Hughie''': He was nice and… called me his canary?
:'''Mother's Milk''': ...Tell me everything he said.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[The Boys are hiding from Black Noir, who tracked Butcher down to his aunt's house]''
:'''Butcher''': That ninja cunt's here for me, isn't he?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, but you can't go out there. He'll kill you. So… So that's it?
:'''Butcher''': Expectin' a happy ending, were we? Well, I'm sorry, Hughie. It ain't that kind of massage parlour. 

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[A-Train is watching a Church of the Collective ad featuring The Deep]''
:'''A-Train''': That's a bunch of bullshit.
:'''Stormfront''': Didn't used to be. Church used to mean something.
:'''A-Train''': Oh. What, are you a member?
:'''Stormfront''': I was, a long time ago. That place used to be pure. And then, they just started letting all kinds of people in, you know?
:'''A-Train''': I don't know. So why don't you tell me?
:'''Stormfront''': Well, I think you do know. Some people are quality and others are… garbage. ''[pause]'' Oh, by the way, I heard they're retiring you? So unfair.
:'''A-Train''': …Do you have a problem?
:'''Stormfront''': Of course not. Why would I say that?

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Victoria Neuman is holding a rally where many Homelander protestors are in attendance]''
:'''Victoria Neuman''': Yes, it's true. Vought has all the money and the power. And we have… no offense, jack shit. ''[laughs]'' But after Homelander's war crime, how can I stay quiet and still look my daughter in the eyes? I can't. I know you can't, and guess what? The House Judiciary can't either! Finally, we are going to hold hearings on Vought and Compound V! Yes!
:''[Neuman and the crowd are interrupted by Homelander, who makes a dramatic entrance by landing next to her]''
:'''Homelander''': Hey, everyone. ''[to Neuman]'' May I? ''[Neuman gives him the mike]'' Thank you. ''[to the crowd]'' Congresswoman Neuman, everybody. Isn't she great? Didn't you love that little &quot;Walk Like an Egyptian&quot; dance she did online? So fun. I loved it. But fun is not what we're here for, is it? Let me just start by saying how pleased I am to see you all here. That we live in a country where all your voices can be heard. 
:''[Cut to Ashley watching the rally live on her iPad with members of the film crew]''
:'''Ashley''': Everyone get the fuck out! Get the fuck out! Fuck you, get out!
:''[Cut back to Homelander at the rally]''
:'''Homelander''': I know that some of you are a little upset by that video online of me stopping the terrorist, and I just want you to know that I understand. I'm upset, too. I mean, come on, guys. Nobody wants innocent people to get hurt. Of course not. But sadly, well… The bad guys, they don't think like us. And so, sometimes… Well, these things just happen.
:'''Man #1''': Wait, this has happened before? 
:'''Man #2''': How many times?
:'''Homelander''': Well, no. Hold on, guys. My point is, we all have the same goals, don't we? To keep our country safe. 
:'''Woman #1''': So American lives are the only ones worth protecting?
:'''Homelander''': Of course not. But if you've served with our amazing soldiers like I have, you would know that freedom comes with a price.
:'''Woman #2''': You don't speak for us!
:'''Man #3''': Yeah, you don't speak for us!
:''[The protestors all start chanting, &quot;You don't speak for us&quot;]''
:'''Homelander''': Alright, alright. Everyone just calm down. Calm down! Let's not let your hearts get in the way of your heads! ''[pause; the chanting continues]'' Everyone just relax! Calm down!
:''[As the chanting gets louder, another man in the crowd flips off Homelander, who starts killing the protestors row by row with his laser eyes until they are all dead. When his eyes return to normal, it's revealed that the massacre was just a fantasy in his head.]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; stares at the chanting protestors]'' Alright! You guys are the real heroes! God bless you! Love you guys! ''[flies off]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Stormfront''': What are you doing in my trailer?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': You know, you had no right to talk to my mother about personal shit. What were you trying to prove?
:'''Stormfront''': Okay, sorry. Just trying to help.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': She didn't just lie to me about Compound V, okay? She lied to me about everything. So don't try and broker some kind of peace between us, because I don't want it!
:'''Stormfront''': Wow, that–that… I mean, that… is a performance. ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, my God, look. I'm, like, tearing up. You don't suck, Starlight! You're Tilda fucking Swinton! I know you leaked it.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I have no idea what you're talking about.
:'''Stormfront''': Not as good. Magic's gone. I guess lightning really doesn't strike twice, huh?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Okay, whatever. You know what? I need to get to set, so–
:'''Stormfront''': That hack-a-limb, Gecko–Yeah, he stole the V, and then you… you leaked it to MSNBC. Now, what do you think Vought's gonna feel when I tell them?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[pause]'' Well, how do you think the world will feel when I tell them that you used to be Liberty?
:'''Stormfront''': Wow. You are a special kind of poison flower, huh? Going against your own people?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[scoffs]'' You mean fucking white people?
:'''Stormfront''': Starlight, superheroes. Don't be racist.
:''[Annie makes all the lights in the trailer flicker with her powers]''
:'''Stormfront''': Oh, my. Oh, yes. That is adorable. I do like you. You… you got spunk. You're gonna be a big help to me.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': What the hell does that mean?

=== ''&quot;The Bloody Doors Off&quot;'' [2.06] ===
:''[Butcher sees Annie after Frenchie removed her Vought chip]''
:'''Butcher''': Well, well, well. What have we here?
:'''Hughie''': I know what you're gonna say, but we just took out her chip. Everything's fine.
:'''Butcher''': Starlight, don't you just light up a room, eh? You're lookin' well.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Yeah, no thanks to the .50-caliber round that you pumped into my chest.
:'''Butcher''': Well, what don't kill you makes you stronger. ''[to Hughie]'' What's she doin' here?
:'''Hughie''': She has a lead on Stormfront.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I broke into her laptop, and I got a look at the inbox. Dozens of e-mails from Stan Edgar.
:'''Butcher''': Stan Edgar? And what does Vought's big slapper have to say?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': How they're close to a breakthrough at the Sage Grove Center. It's a psychiatric hospital in Pennsylvania.
:'''Hughie''': Wait, what kind of breakthrough?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': She came in before I could see any more.
:'''Butcher''': Well, we better have us a little dekko at this loony bin, eh, lads? Starlight, would you be amenable to joinin' us on this little caper?
:'''Hughie''': You want her to come?
:'''Butcher''': Oh, most definitely. If shit goes sideways, who do you think Vought's gonna go after? Us or their billion-dollar baby turned traitor who just ripped out her own fuckin' chip? Never go into shark-infested waters without chum.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[to Butcher]'' Seriously, what is your problem with me?
:'''Butcher''': I ain't got no problem with you, love.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Really? That's why you won't even touch my hand?
:'''Hughie''': Okay, guys, come on. Not the time.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': You know what? No. I think it's exactly the right time. I think the time is long overdue. ''[to Butcher]'' You ''know'' that I hate Vought as much as you do. You know that, but it doesn't even matter to you because what you can't stand is in my blood. I'm subhuman to you. Only good Supe is a dead Supe, right?
:'''Butcher''': Your words, not mine.
:'''Hughie''': That's enough.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': You know what? Underneath all that swagger, you're just a bigot and a bully. I know another guy just like that. He's got a flag for a cape.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[after nearly getting choked by Love Sausage]'' That's his fuckin' dick.
:'''Frenchie''': Oh... Don't be so closed-minded.
:''[...]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[to Butcher on the phone]'' Yo. Close stitch, but Hughie's okay.
:'''Frenchie''': Hey, tell Butcher about that thick penis around your neck.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[whispering]'' Fuck you. ''[to Butcher on the phone]'' Nah, nah, nah. It's just Frenchie being Frenchie.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hey, what the hell is going on here, huh? You all are juicing people with motherfuckin' Compound V, only to burn 'em alive. Why?
:'''Lamplighter''': Maybe I just like watching people burn. ''[to Frenchie]'' I remember you, you know? You were tailing me the night that I torched those kids. So why didn't you stop me? Maybe you like watching people burn, too.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Frenchie''': Why are we still alive?
:'''Lamplighter''': Dumb luck?
:'''Frenchie''': No. I mean that night. We went underground for months… but you never came for us. Not you, not Homelander. Why?
:'''Lamplighter''': You're disappointed we didn't kill you?
:'''Frenchie''': I thought The Seven always retaliates, no?
:'''Lamplighter''': You're nobody. Not worth it.
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; looks at M.M.]'' You didn't tell them, did you? Why wouldn't you tell them?
:'''Lamplighter''': Who says I didn't?
:'''Frenchie''': I figured you'd boast about it to Homelander. Must've been thrilling for you.
:'''Lamplighter''': I'm not a fucking animal.
:'''Frenchie''': Only a fucking animal would do what you did.
:'''Lamplighter''': Drop it.
:'''Frenchie''': You murdered innocent children.
:'''Lamplighter''': Shut the fuck up.
:'''Frenchie''': You watched them burn alive, crying for their mama! If that's not an animal, then what is, huh?!
:'''Lamplighter''': I didn't know! I didn't know they were gonna be in that bed. It was supposed to be your boss. ''[pause]'' Then, they started screaming… but it was too late.
:'''Mother's Milk''': So what? Are we supposed to feel bad for you now? Fuck you. 
:'''Lamplighter''': I don't want anything from you. ''[to Frenchie]'' But you… I saw you following me that night… and then you disappeared. I keep asking myself why. Why didn't you stop me? ''[beat]'' Why didn't you?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Good question.
:''[...]''
:'''Frenchie''': ''[to Lamplighter]'' My best friend OD'd and I left to save him that night. Why I didn't stop you. You were at a party, I was away for thirty minutes. Came back, you were gone.
:'''Lamplighter''': Did he live? Your friend?
:'''Frenchie''': ''Oui''. But I never saw him again, and… then he died a few months later. Another overdose.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Are you serious? Frenchie, why…? Why didn't you ever tell us?
:'''Frenchie''': What difference would it make?
:'''Mother's Milk''': After all these years, man? We would've left you off the hook.
:'''Frenchie''': What makes you think I want to be let off the hook, huh?

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Stormfront''': Hey, I'm so glad you're here. I wanna apologize. Please, just let me explain.
:'''Homelander''': Flap, flap, flap goes that little mouth of yours. You remember you told me that you don't break easily? Well, I've been thinking about that. A lot.
:'''Stormfront''': I will never lie to you again. I will tell you everything. ''[pause]'' Starting with this.
:''[Stormfront takes out a photograph of herself with an elderly woman]''
:'''Homelander''': Your grandmother?
:'''Stormfront''': My daughter, Chloe. She died of Alzheimer's a few years ago.
:'''Homelander''': …How old are you?
:'''Stormfront''': I was born in 1919… in Berlin.
:''[She flips through another photograph taken during the 1940s. She is at a Nazi gathering standing with another man.]''
:'''Homelander''': Is that you with… ?
:'''Stormfront''': Heinrich Himmler. He was a lovely dancer. And that's Goebbels, and… the most important man in the room.
:''[She flips to a third photograph of her and the man from the second photo on their wedding day]''
:'''Homelander''': Frederick Vought.
:'''Stormfront''': He gave me the first successful V injection. He taught me everything. And then we fell in love, and he gave me a daughter. He made me, and his genius made you. ''[pause; Homelander starts pacing around the room]'' Frederick didn't care about all the fans or stardom or any of that shallow bullshit. We are in a war for the culture! The other races are grinding us down and taking what is rightfully ours, but we can fight back… with an army of supermen, millions strong! Because that is Vought's true destiny! And you will be the man who will lead us. You are everything that we dreamed of. So I love you with all of my heart. How could I not? Everyone I have ever loved is in the ground. And then, I found you. We found each other. And now, neither of us has to be alone ever again. And that... is the truth.
:''[Homelander stares at Stormfront like he's about to hurt her, then pulls her in for a passionate kiss]''

=== ''&quot;Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker&quot;'' [2.07] ===
:''[Butcher and Mallory watch Victoria Neuman negotiate with Lamplighter to have him as a key witness for the upcoming Supe hearing]''
:'''Mallory''': Put away that petulant look before you hurt someone with it.
:'''Butcher''': I should be chuffed we're pissin' away the best asset we ever got our mitts on.
:'''Mallory''': And your plan would be?
:'''Butcher''': Same as always: Squeeze the cunt until he gives up the next cunt, then kill the fuck when we're done.
:'''Mallory''': I have no doubt you'd be happy with that unending cycle of brutality.
:'''Butcher''': How can you not want blood for what he done?
:'''Mallory''': He's willing to speak against Vought at the hearing. We've never had Congress on our side before.
:'''Butcher''': Congress? Please. What a bunch of corrupt fuckin' cunts they are.
:'''Neuman''': Oh, come on. You're not the first person to call me a cunt, Mr. Butcher. I'm starting to think it's like a... badge of honor.
:'''Butcher''': Term of endearment where I come from, love. 
:'''Mallory''': ''[to Neuman]'' Well?
:'''Neuman''': Opposition's gonna have a field day with him. Disgruntled ex-Supe… I am fairly sure he's fucked half the Sacred Heart cheerleading squad. But yeah, he'll be a good witness. It's not enough, though.
:'''Butcher''': Not enough? If torturin' and burnin' a bunch of mentals on Vought's say-so ain't enough for you Muppets, then what the fuck are you good for, huh? A strongly-worded tweet?

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie and Lamplighter watch porn while they stay behind. Hughie is clearly uncomfortable as Lamplighter looks through several DVDs.]''
:'''Lamplighter''': What do you wanna watch next? Uh, &quot;Translucent: The Invisible Cock&quot;. &quot;Queen Maeve: Pleasure Slave&quot;. Yeah, &quot;Big Black Noir&quot;. Oh, &quot;Starlight Pulls an A-Train&quot;.
:'''Hughie''': I'm good. I'm good, thank you.
:'''Lamplighter''': Okay. Different strokes, man.
:'''Hughie''': Please don't say that in this context. ''[pause]'' You know, this isn't healthy, man. You can't watch porn while the… sun's out.
:'''Lamplighter''': Look, if I get up at that hearing, I'm dead anyway. What difference does it make?
:'''Hughie''': Okay.
:''[Hughie picks up the TV remote to try and turn off the porn]''
:'''Lamplighter''': Drop the remote, or I'll burn your fucking face off. 
:''[Hughie drops the remote and continues reluctantly watching the porno for a few moments]''
:'''Lamplighter''': Did you know I was a prodigy? A fucking prodigy. I lit my first fire at four, burned my whole house down. My dad… he was so proud. &quot;My son's a Supe&quot;. ''[pause]'' I was gonna do great things. I almost did. Now, look at me. I'm like the cuck in the porn, sitting on the sidelines while the real heroes are out there doing the fucking.
:'''Hughie''': You wanna know why they left me to babysit you?
:'''Lamplighter''': Because you're useless?
:'''Hughie''': My mom… she, uh… ''[sighs]'' Never mind. After she was gone, I watched my dad do… nothing his whole life. But me, I thought I'd finally found… something. I thought I found what I was meant to do. But it turns out… I'm shit at that as well. You're not the cuck. I'm… the cuck.
:'''Lamplighter''': Actually, you're worse. You're the cuck fluffer.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie sees a press conference on the news, where Homelander reveals that Starlight is being held captive for working as a &quot;mole&quot; against The Seven]''
:'''Hughie''': Oh, my God. Fuck.
:'''Lamplighter''': I bet you she's in 42D. 
:'''Hughie''': ''[tries calling Butcher on his phone]'' Come on, Butcher. Where are you?
:'''Lamplighter''': If she's still alive.
:'''Hughie''': Wait, what's 42D?
:'''Lamplighter''': At the Tower. Supe-proof, mostly. Steel walls, six feet thick.
:'''Hughie''': How do I get in?
:'''Lamplighter''': Into the Tower? You don't. Sorry, man, but she's probably dead.
:'''Hughie''': There's gotta be something… A secret entrance?
:'''Lamplighter''': Maybe one or two, but forget it, man. It's crazy.
:'''Hughie''': Okay, show me. Come with me.
:'''Lamplighter''': You're still fucked up.
:'''Hughie''': Exactly why I need your help.
:'''Lamplighter''': Get your friends.
:'''Hughie''': Butcher isn't picking up. The others are halfway across the state. We gotta go! Now! Listen, Vought screwed you over, right? They're trying to do the same thing to her.
:'''Lamplighter''': This shit is over for me. My whole life is over, okay?
:'''Hughie''': This is your last chance to be the hero again. Come on. Do you wanna be the cuck or do you wanna be the guy who… fucks the wife?
:'''Lamplighter''': ''[pause]'' Okay, yeah.
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, let's go fuck the wife. Consensually.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Elena is still tense around Maeve after watching the Flight 37 video]''
:'''Elena''': '''Hi.'''
:'''Queen Maeve''': That was a fraught &quot;hi&quot;.
:'''Elena''': I'm going to my sister's for a while.
:'''Queen Maeve''': I have a plan. You don't need to be scared of Homelander.
:'''Elena''': That little girl… on the plane. What she must've gone through in those last few moments… I lie awake every night thinking about that.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Me, too.
:'''Elena''': But then, I start snowballing and wondering… How many other people have you killed, and what else have you done?
:'''Queen Maeve''': I didn't have a choice.
:'''Elena''': I'm not blaming you. I'm not. It is not your fault.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Will you just… Will you–Will you sit down?
:'''Elena''': And it's not fair.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Will you sit down?
:'''Elena''': I wish I were as strong as you… but I'm not. I just need time.
:''[Maeve flips the dining table over in a fit of rage]''
:'''Queen Maeve''': Over and over, you… ''[sniffles]'' You said you wanted to see the real me. This is the real me.
:'''Elena''': I know. I'm sorry.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Stormfront''': So, are you into anything that kids are into?
:'''Homelander''': Yeah.
:'''Stormfront''': Like, uh, NBA 2K? PewDiePie?
:'''Ryan''': What's that?
:'''Stormfront''': Uh, what about one of your dad's movies?
:'''Ryan''': ''[to Homelander]'' You're in a movie?
:'''Homelander''': ''[chuckles]'' I'm in a bunch of movies, man. Let's see, there's ''Homelander: Origins'', ''Homelander: Rise of a Hero'', ''Homelander: Darkest Day'', ''Homelander: Brightest Night''…
:'''Stormfront''': Oh, your dad is so good in ''Homelander: Brightest Night''.
:'''Homelander''': Thank you.
:'''Ryan''': Mom, can I see them?
:'''Becca''': When you're old enough, we can talk about it, okay?
:'''Homelander''': Ah, they're PG. He can see them now. You're old enough.
:'''Stormfront''': You're absolutely old enough.
:'''Homelander''': For sleepovers and baseball games and visits to Vought Land.
:'''Stormfront''': Yeah. Did you know that your dad has his own rollercoaster?
:'''Ryan''': Can I, Mom?
:'''Becca''': We can talk about it.
:'''Homelander''': Whenever you want.
:'''Becca''': ''[to Homelander]'' I need to speak with you.
:'''Homelander''': We're having a good time here, right?
:'''Becca''': Outside. Now.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' That's a great idea. ''[to Ryan and Stormfront]'' You two… stay here. Get to know each other better.
:''[Homelander walks outside with Becca]''
:'''Becca''': I know what you're doing.
:'''Homelander''': Nope, you don't.
:'''Becca''': Yes, I do. I–I can see…
:'''Homelander''': No, you do not. You could not possibly understand. ''[pause]'' I was raised the same way as him. That kid doesn't know anything about anything. When he sees the outside world, he's going to panic. Now, that's gonna fuck him up. I do not want my son to have to go through what I went through. His life… is different.
:'''Becca''': ''[sighs]'' He has a mother. And I know that that means something to you–I do–and if you take him away from me, this… this whole world will feel so confusing and frightening.
:'''Homelander''': Yes. But Rebecca, you… are lying to him.
:'''Becca''': Because I love him. And I know a part of you loves him, too, and that you want what's best for him. But what's best for him is to be here with me–his mother. Look, we have this opportunity to give him a childhood you never had. We can do that if he's here with me. Please. I'm begging you, please.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Butcher''': What was he like?
:'''Vogelbaum''': Who?
:'''Butcher''': Homelander, growin' up as a lad, what was he like?
:'''Vogelbaum''': I'm sure you don't wanna talk about this–
:'''Butcher''': Oh, there is nothing I wanna talk about more. And who knows better than you?
:'''Vogelbaum''': When he was a little boy, five or six, he was quite sweet. He'd cuddle up to me. He loved stories about [[w:Davey Crockett|Davey Crockett]], [[w:Teddy Roosevelt|Teddy Roosevelt]], loved the idea of the woods, the forest. [[w:Manifest destiny|Manifest destiny]]. But, you know, I needed him to be the strongest man in the world. So I went to work on him. He didn't even want it. It was for me.
:'''Butcher''': Hmm. And that wasn't your only sin, was it? It weren't Homelander who hid my wife away all them years. It ever occur to you, the pain you cause sorry bastards like me?
:'''Vogelbaum''': At the time, it was barely a blip on my radar.
:'''Butcher''': Tell me, Doctor... ''What's your radar tellin' you now?''
:'''Vogelbaum''': Do what you want to me, but I can't help you. My family would be in−
:'''Butcher''': Your family's already in trouble. 'Cause I'm about to go into that room next door, to your daughter, and I'm gonna bash her brains out. And then, I'm gonna find your two sons, and their wives, and their little kiddies. Your whole fuckin' family dies today. Or... you help me. What's it gonna be, Doc?

=== ''&quot;What I Know&quot;'' [2.08] ===
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I need to ask you something. It's a lot. I need you to testify.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Testify?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': On the record. Against Vought, against Homelander, Stormfront, everything.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Why would I do that?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Because things are really bad, and… you're our last chance.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Pass.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Look, I get that it's dangerous.
:'''Queen Maeve''': It's suicide, but that's not the reason.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Well, then, what is it?
:'''Queen Maeve''': ''[shrugs]'' I'm tired.
:'''Hughie''': We're all tired… but they're hurting people. And sooner or later, they're gonna hurt someone you love.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Am I talking to you?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Look… I get that it's easier to just disappear inside of yourself. Trust me. It's all I wanna do, but we can't, Maeve. We can't. This is a war now, and we–
:'''Queen Maeve''': Shut the fuck up. Christ, you… Haven't I done enough for you? ''[pause]'' Didn't I save your fucking life?! It doesn't matter what we do; nothing changes. Nothing ever changes or gets better… and I'm tired. Just leave. GO! TAKE YOUR FUCKING TWINK AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Stan Edgar''': Homelander's a friend. Why would I betray him?
:'''Butcher''': Because you're a ruthless bastard.
:'''Edgar''': That's hurtful.
:'''Butcher''': You turned a racist piece of shite into America's sweetheart. Now, what word would you use?
:'''Edgar''': ''[pause; sips water]'' Stormfront's good at making people angry. Angry people want Compound V. Compound V raises our stock price. Look, I'd have preferred V remained a secret, but we play with the cards we're dealt. It's not ruthless; it's prices per share. That's all.
:'''Butcher''': Maybe you should take a look in the mirror, mate. 'Cause that bitch should bother you.
:'''Edgar''': Of course she does. But it's not about me. I can't lash out like some raging, entitled maniac. That's a white man's luxury.
:'''Butcher''': So it's just business, then, eh?
:'''Edgar''': When, Mr. Butcher, in history, has it ever been about anything different?

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Becca''': You remember the range at [[w:Fort Bragg|Fort Bragg]]? I was a better shot than you.
:'''Butcher''': Well, you had a bloody good teacher, didn't ya?
:'''Becca''': I like your friends. Especially Hughie. He's, uh… ''[chuckles]'' He's good for you.
:'''Butcher''': Look, Becca... you ain't comin' with us.
:'''Becca''': Bullshit. Ryan doesn't know you, he'll never come to you.
:'''Butcher''': It's too dangerous, and I ain't gonna lose you again.
:'''Becca''': He's my son, and I'm coming. ''[beat]'' I need you to promise me something. I need you to promise me that you will save him no matter what and you will get him back to me.
:'''Butcher''': Yeah. Of course.
:'''Becca''': You realize this isn't just about me, right? Like, he can't grow up like Homelander. You have to think of all of the people out there that he would… Swear to me, then. You swear to me on your brother's soul.
:'''Butcher''': I swear to you. I swear to you on Lenny's soul.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander tries to get Ryan to destroy a Deep action figure with his laser eyes. Ryan continues straining himself in an attempt to activate his powers.]''
:'''Homelander''': Keep going. You got it. That's it, don't give up. That's it, that's it. Keep going. Little more. Little more, you got it. ''[pause; Ryan exhales in defeat]'' Oh... hey, that's okay. You'll get it, you'll get it. Um… I know what. Imagine, um…  Well, sometimes it helps to imagine someone you hate, okay? So, try that.
:'''Ryan''': But at home, when I say &quot;hate&quot;, I have to put a quarter in the swear jar.
:'''Homelander''': Well, there's no swear jar here. So, you can hate away. ''[chuckles]''
:'''Ryan''': But I don't really hate anyone.
:'''Stormfront''': Aw. Well, that is very sweet, Ryan. But it's not something we can afford. We're under attack.
:'''Ryan''': We are?
:'''Stormfront''': Bad guys wanna hurt us just 'cause of what we look like. They wanna wipe us from this Earth, just because of the color of our skin.
:'''Ryan''': Really?
:'''Stormfront''': It's called white genocide. And we're gonna need people like you to protect our kind.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Stormfront''': There you are, you slippery little bitch! I'm assuming it's you who sent all those lies to the press.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': They're not lies!
:'''Stormfront''': The pictures are clearly deepfakes, and you're a lying slut! People love what I have to say. They believe in it. They just don't like the word &quot;Nazi&quot;, that's all.
:''[...]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': What about the truth?
:'''Stormfront''': What truth? What is the truth? ''[beat; sees Kimiko laughing at her]'' And what are you laughing at?
:''[Kimiko signs to Frenchie with a smirk]''
:'''Frenchie''': She says the truth is… she's gonna stick her boot up your Nazi kitty.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Queen Maeve''': Hey, Kraut.
:''[Maeve punches Stormfront. As they fight, Kimiko resurrects and relocates her neck. Annie gets back up along with her and they both join Maeve in beating Stormfront to the ground.]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Eat my shit, you Nazi bitch! Die, you bitch!
:'''Frenchie''': Girls ''do'' get it done.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander finds Ryan frightened and guilty over accidentally killing Becca and brutally maiming Stormfront with his powers.]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan? Did you do this?
:'''Ryan''': I didn't mean to.
:'''Homelander''': Let's go. Come here. Come. Ryan... Ryan, come here.
:''[Ryan walks over to Butcher instead of to Homelander]''
:'''Butcher''': No.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; laughs maniacally]'' He's mine. What, are you gonna blow yourself up to save the little shit that fucking murdered your wife?
:'''Butcher''': I promised.
:'''Homelander''': Have it your way.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Stop.
:'''Homelander''': What are you doing here?
:'''Queen Maeve''': You're gonna let them go.
:'''Homelander''': And if I don't?
:''[Maeve plays the Flight 37 video on her phone and tauntingly shows it to Homelander]''
:'''Queen Maeve''': Let them go. You're gonna stop hunting Starlight, you're gonna leave me and Elena alone… or I release this.
:'''Homelander''': If you do that… I'll destroy everything and everyone.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Great. As long as everyone sees what a fucking monster you are. As long as no one ever loves you again.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Victoria Neuman''': Hugh Campbell. ''[shakes Hughie's hand]'' I don't know how to repay you for what you did.
:'''Hughie''': You know, I can think of a way.
:'''Neuman''': Oh?
:'''Hughie''': You can... give me a job.
:'''Neuman''': You serious? What about your team?
:'''Hughie''': Don't get me wrong, I–I still wanna fight Vought. I just... I wanna do it the right way. Not covered in quite as many guts. Look, the truth is, I never totally fit in with the guys. And... I think it's time I stand on my own two feet.
:'''Neuman''': They know you're here?
:'''Hughie''': I haven't told them yet.
:'''Neuman''': When can you start?
==External links==
{{The Boys}}
[[Category:The Boys (TV series) seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>tssqysorun3zgo8trvzrvf35hvvrtln</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>The Boys (TV series)/Season 3</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>279878</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943866</id>
      <parentid>3943849</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:11:14Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* &quot;The Instant White-Hot Wild&quot; [3.08] */</comment>
      <origin>3943866</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="101797" sha1="85v9y0a4s7ob4a5if6kcmwrskmmpas5" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Season''' [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 1|1]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 2|2]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 3|3]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 4|4]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 5|5]]  [[The Boys (TV series)|Main]]
----
'''''[[w:The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]''''' is an American superhero television series developed by Eric Kripke for [[w:Amazon Prime Video|Amazon Prime Video]]. Based on the comic book of the same name by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson, it follows the eponymous team of vigilantes as they combat superpowered individuals who abuse their abilities.

===''&quot;Payback&quot;'' [3.01]===
:'''Frenchie''': ''[over the openly gay Termite crawling in his pants''] [[w:gerbilling|He's trying to get in my ass!]]

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Neuman''': Give me a bite.
:'''Hughie''': Whoa, whoa, whoa. You want the Valtrex before or after?
:'''Neuman''': You love that bagel so much you're gonna fake [[w:Herpes|herpes]]?
:'''Hughie''': I could have herpes. You don't think I could have herpes?
:'''Neuman''': ''[smirks]'' How'd surveillance go with Termite last night?
:'''Hughie''': You know, I haven't checked in with Butcher yet, but… I'm sure it went fine. ''[pause; Neuman gives him a look of uncertainty]'' Don't–No, don't give me that face.
:'''Neuman''': I'll bet you a crisp $100 bill something got fucked up.
:'''Hughie''': You don't know that.
:'''Neuman''': ''[holds her hand out]'' Okay, take the bet.
:'''Hughie''': …I'm–I'm not gonna take the bet, but uh… ''[Neuman takes the bagel from him]'' Wow, really?
:'''Neuman''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Hughie''': Okay, still, Butcher delivers every time.
:'''Neuman''': And I have to apologize for him every time. Look, Butcher's the guy you want in a shooting war. No question. But we're in peacetime. ''[eats the bagel]'' Oh, my God. So worth the herpes.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. So, uh, you gonna stay over again tonight?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Don't know. It depends. Um, you gonna bring [[w:List of toothpaste brands|Aquafresh]]?
:'''Hughie''': I would brush with [[w:Miconazole|Monistat]] if it meant I could have sex with you. Yes.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Robert Singer holds up a vial of green liquid that looks similar to the blue Compound V]''
:'''Robert Singer''': V24, huh?
:'''Stan Edgar''': Marketing is still testing the name, but it's the future, Bob. One dose of this temporary V gives a soldier 24 hours of powers. Give or take. And then, they return right back to normal.
:'''Singer''': How stable is it?
:'''Edgar''': Still ironing out the kinks.
:'''Singer''': And if it's temporary, that means the DoD has to keep buying doses. At how much a hit?
:'''Edgar''': Two million, roughly.
:'''Singer''': So over the course of a month-long operation, that's sixty million per soldier. Six hundred million per squad.
:'''Edgar''': Campaign going well, is it?
:'''Singer''': I appreciate your contribution to my super PAC.
:'''Edgar''': People do love a cowboy in the White House. I hear they're even calling you Dakota Bob. So how would it look if you pass up the opportunity to give our brave soldiers superpowers?
:'''Singer''': Supes in the Army are an unmitigated shitshow. What Black Noir did to that Hard Rock Café in Lagos should be brought up on war crimes.
:'''Edgar''': ''[closes the conference room doors]'' You're right.
:'''Singer''': I'm sorry?
:'''Edgar''': You are absolutely right. The problem, of course, was making the Super into heroes.
:'''Singer''': I don't follow.
:'''Edgar''': Making them figures to be worshiped. The fame, the movies, the depraved sex? It ruined them. Cone of silence–in five years, I hope to be out of the superhero business entirely.
:'''Singer''': Bullshit.
:'''Edgar''': This should be a serious company. A defense and pharmaceutical company. Not a daycare dealing with spoiled children and dead prostitutes. But the point is, you won't have to worry about any of that, because your soldiers will only be super temporarily. The product, finally perfected.
:'''Singer''': Stan, when you say Compound V...
:'''Stan Edgar''': V-''24''.
:'''Singer''': Do you know what the public hears? [[w:Gestapo|Gestapo]]. [[w:Swastika|Swastika]]. And that's your fault; you used a Nazi to sell it! Compound V is [[w:radioactive decay|radio-fucking-active]]. It's not gonna fly in Congress.
:'''Edgar''': I still have a few strings that I can pull in Congress...

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Supersonic''': ''[sitting at desk with Annie]'' Oh, my God. Come on.
:'''Hughie''': Hi. Hey, hi.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Hi!
:'''Supersonic''': Hughie, what's up, my man?
:'''Hughie''': How's it going, guys? What are you guys doing?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': We're running lines, actually.
:'''Hughie''': [[w:reality television|For a reality show]]?
:'''Supersonic''': Right? The reality behind the reality.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, um... oh, man, I was in the, uh, control room, and they had this, like, bio thing on you.
:'''Supersonic''': Oh, God, I'm sorry. Yeah, that boy band shit is so embarrassing.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': You know what, I really like &quot;Rock My Kiss.&quot;
:'''Supersonic''': Really?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I do.
:'''Supersonic''': Did you? I... I actually... Wait, I thought it made you puke. ''[both their faces turn into mutual recollection]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Shut up... Shut up!
:'''Supersonic''': It's true.
:'''Hughie''': What are you guys, what are you, what are you talking about?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Okay, be careful. I can still kick you off the show.
:'''Supersonic''': He has a right to know. Come on, we were, what, 19?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Eighteen.
:'''Supersonic''': Okay, so 18, the band was performing at the opening of Voughtland St. Louis. But before the show, Annie and I snuck into a cantina. And they had those... I mean, those yards of [[w:margarita|margarita]]...
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I must have drank a quarter mile.
:'''Supersonic''': So, middle of the show, we bring out Starlight to do a number. And Little Orphan Alky steps onto the stage, and she just pukes in front of a festival crowd. I mean, the tweens, they lost their shit. Humiliating.
:'''Hughie''': Wow, that's... I- I had no idea you drank back then.
:'''Supersonic''': Oh, yeah, Miss Goody Two-Shoes, she had a fun side, big time.
:'''Hughie''': ''[walking outside]'' And–And really great you guys are still... so close, just really, really great. You have nothing to worry about.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': No. No, no, no, totally. He's gross.
:'''Hughie''': And you've known him your whole life. And he, you know, took your virginity, so why would I worry?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Okay, it was a mutual taking of virginities. And you know what, it happened so long ago, and only a couple of times.
:'''Hughie''': Wait, really?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': [[w:monogamy|We were really religious and we weren't married, so it felt weird having sex]]. I mean sex sex. [''Walks into trailer''] [[w:Anal sex|We did a ton of butt stuff]]. [''Hugh stands shocked then she pokes her head in door''] I'm fucking with you.
:'''Hughie''': ''[laughs]'' Okay. 
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Come on. 
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, never do that again. [''Sitting in trailer''] Wow, uh... Co-captain, huh? Wow, that's, uh... 
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Is it crazy? I mean, Vought's the worst thing that's ever happened to us, and now you want to be their [[w:Ronald McDonald|Ronald McDonald]]? So, yeah, a little crazy. Yeah, but first female co-captain of any super team. Ever. I mean... think about what that would mean to millions of girls. 
:'''Hughie''': I'm sorry, I- I'm just... surprised, I guess. I mean, is this your mom talking or you?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[sighs]'' I'm the one whose feet bled at all of those pageants. Okay? I've paid a lot. And, finally, finally, I could have some real power that I could use, and I could make trouble at Vought. Do some real good. 
:'''Hughie''': Or Homelander can murder you. 
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Someone needs to stand up to this guy.
:'''Hughie''': And that has to be you?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Not just me. I mean, I could bring good people into The Seven who could help me.
:'''Hughie''': What, you mean like your boyfriend?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[pause; stands up]'' It's not a good look, Hughie. No one even bats an eye when a man climbs the ladder.
:'''Hughie''': ''[stands up with a raised hand palm out and walks to her]'' Okay, you're right, you're right, you're right. Look, I'm-I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So I'll... see you later tonight? 
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Don't bother with [[w:Aquafresh|the Aquafresh]]. ''[walks away]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Excuse me, Starlight. I need the room. I got a meeting with Stan.
:'''Edgar''': Actually, I invited you both. Have a seat.
:'''Homelander''': Great.
:''[Homelander gets upset when Edgar takes his seat at the head of the table. He begrudgingly sits down in the chair next to him.]''
:'''Edgar''': I remember when you first arrived, Starlight. A farm girl from Kansas. Bright-eyed like Dorothy in Oz.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Iowa. And not a farm.
:'''Edgar''': Oh, well, look how far you've come. Polling at 96, a new Vought record. I don't have to tell you that our brand has been a bit tarnished since that ''[looks at Homelander]'' nasty business last year. But you have restored a wholesome, trustworthy image to the company when we needed it the most. Which is why the board wants to make you co-captain of The Seven.
:'''Homelander''': What?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Co… Co-captain? ''[stammers]'' But–But... ''[chuckles]'' Homelander is captain. ''[to Homelander]'' I mean, you're–you're captain.
:'''Edgar''': This will be beneficial to you both. ''[to Homelander]'' Your numbers are down… What, double digits? The public still associates you with Stormfront. This would be a real bump. A rising tide lifts all boats.
:'''Homelander''': That's very thoughtful of you, Stan. Um… When does the board vote?
:'''Edgar''': They already did this morning. All that's left is for Starlight to say yes.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': No. I mean–I mean, I'm flattered. Thank you, but no thank you. If anybody, it should be Maeve.
:'''Edgar''': Maeve doesn't have a 96.
:'''Homelander''': Nobody does. Except you, apparently.
:'''Edgar''': Homelander, could you give us a moment?
:'''Homelander''': Look, I'd really like to keep discussing this.
:'''Edgar''': Absolutely. Set a time with Samantha, and we'll get you in.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause; laughs angrily]'' Great. No problem.
:'''Edgar''': Excellent.
:'''Homelander''': My schedule is pretty full, but I'll try and find you a window.
:''[Homelander walks out of the conference room. He turns around and stares coldly at Annie and Edgar as the doors shut on him]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Okay, sir, there is no way. I mean, you saw him.
:'''Edgar''': He can get as pissy as he wants. As long as I'm CEO of Vought, he's under control. And we both know why.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': You know that he can–he can probably hear you.
:'''Edgar''': Good. I hope he does. Starlight, real power… ''[mimics Annie shooting light with her hands]'' isn't this. It's the ability to bend the world to your will. You would decide what The Seven do, what causes they support. Full authority to fill the team's empty slots. ''[gets up and pushes the chair Homelander was sitting on next to his]'' I'm offering you ''real'' power. You should think about it.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''A-Train''': Hey, Homelander.
:'''Homelander''': What are you drinking?
:'''A-Train''': [[w:Shake Shack|Shake Shack]].
:'''Homelander''': Ooh.
:'''A-Train''': You want one? I’ll go grab a PA–
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. No. Thank you, though. ''[walks up to A-Train]'' I see you got the extra whipped cream in there, huh?
:'''A-Train''': Yeah.
:'''Homelander''': ''Yummers''. Guess you wanted to cram in as much fat ''fuck'' as possible, huh?
:'''A-Train''': ''[confused]'' Did I do something wrong?
:'''Homelander''': You think I haven’t seen you ''[pokes A-Train's stomach]'' shoving back two dozen cupcakes in the break room? Nine servings on [[w:risotto|Miro's truffle risotto]] night ''[pokes A-Train again]'' Hmm?
:'''A-Train''': Hey, man… You know I need 30,000 calories a day.
:'''Homelander''': Maybe when you actually ran you did. But now, you’re just eating your feelings, making us look ridiculous. ''[pause]'' “The Fastest Man Alive”, what a fuckin’ joke. ''[walks away]'' 
:'''A-Train''': ''[whispering under his breath]'' Fuck you, man.
:'''Homelander''': ''[stops walking]'' What did you say?
:'''A-Train''': Nothing. Nothing...? 
:''[Homelander quickly walks back to A-Train and grabs him by the back of his neck]''
:'''Homelander''': '''WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?!'''
:'''A-Train''': I’m sorry! Shit! I’m so sorry, I–I didn’t mean it! 
:'''Homelander''': Say it. ''[activates laser eyes; A-Train drops his shake]'' SAY IT!
:'''A-Train''': I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
:''[Homelander lets go of A-Train and walks away]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Queen Maeve is secretly working with Butcher to investigate a secret weapon that could kill Homelander]'' 
:'''Queen Maeve''': I heard Termite walked. My lead was good. What happened?
:'''Butcher''': Don't ask.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Well, we gotta talk. I think I have something.
:''[Maeve hands Butcher an archived memorandum file on Soldier Boy]'' 
:'''Butcher''': Soldier Boy. So what?
:'''Queen Maeve''': Remember how he died?
:'''Butcher''': Stoppin' a nuclear meltdown in Ohio. '83, '84 I think. Got buried beneath a reactor. Always thought it was bollocks.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Yeah, you thought right. Read.
:'''Butcher''': ''[looks at the file again]'' What's B.C.L. Red?
:'''Queen Maeve''': If you believe the rumors, it's the thing that killed Soldier Boy. Some kind of gun or weapon or something.
:'''Butcher''': Had to have been a fuckin' H-bomb. He was nearly as strong as… ''[pause; sees Maeve smiling]'' Ah.
:'''Queen Maeve''': If we can find this weapon–or whatever it is–maybe we can use it to blow Homelander's fucking brains out.
:'''Butcher''': If it is real, and not some fuckin' fable.
:''[Butcher flips through the files and finds a photograph of Soldier Boy standing in the center of a group of other Supes]''
:'''Butcher''': Payback. ''[scoffs]'' What a bunch of fuckin' wankers.
:'''Queen Maeve''': I'll say. When The Seven passed them as the number one super team, Crimson Countess sent me a box of cat shit. She was fucking Soldier Boy, and Gunpowder was his sidekick. If anyone knows what happened to him, they do.
:'''Butcher''': ''[looks at the photo again and sees Black Noir]'' Your mate Noir was in Payback. Why don't you ask him?
:'''Queen Maeve''': ''[chuckles]'' Even if that walking tumor could talk, it wouldn't be to me. Here.
:''[Butcher receives three vials of V24 from Maeve]''
:'''Butcher''': What's this?
:'''Queen Maeve''': It's Temp V. One shot makes you a Supe for 24 hours. I mean, they think. It's still in R&amp;D.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, great. So powers, maybe. Maybe my bollocks swell up like footballs, yeah?
:'''Queen Maeve''': Payback may be a bunch of fuckholes, but they're strong. And they're dangerous. If you're going against them, you're gonna need it.
:'''Butcher''': And what makes you think that me, of all people, would wanna turn into one of you?
:'''Queen Maeve''': This is our best chance to kill Homelander. Don't fuck it up.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Butcher hears somebody near his apartment just as he's about to pour out the V24. He hides the V24 vials in a bulldog-shaped cookie jar before going out to investigate. Butcher enters the living room and sees Homelander outside staring at him from his balcony]''
:'''Butcher''': ''[opens balcony door]'' If you wanna watch me have a wank, it'll cost you a tenner.
:'''Homelander''': May I come in?
:''[Cut to Butcher in his kitchen making tea with Homelander inside]''
:'''Homelander''': Where's Ryan?
:'''Butcher''': He's at 673 [[w:Teabagging|Nosh My Bollocks]] Ave. You want a pen and paper?
:'''Homelander''': You know, I could just... pull you apart, limb by limb. Make you tell me.
:'''Butcher''': Nah, that'd be worthless. Victim always goes into shock. You gotta start small. Fingers, toenails, ears...
:'''Homelander''': He's my son, William. My family. I'm gonna find him sooner or later.
:'''Butcher''': ''[pause]'' Look, uh... I don't mean to be rude, but can we just skip to the part where you laser my fuckin' brains out?
:'''Homelander''': Oh, for Christ's sakes. Where's the sport in that? I mean, look at you. It'd be like putting down a wounded dog.
:'''Butcher''': You're the one with your tail between your legs on all them fuckin' talk shows. And then, they go and make Starlight co-captain? That's gotta sting.
:'''Homelander''': ''[smiles]'' Touché, William. Touché.
:'''Butcher''': What're you doin' here?
:'''Homelander''': ''[disgusted]'' Vought. And the fucking Bureau. The wheeling and dealing, and–and giving and taking, just to keep everything... exactly the same. And you and me? Well, they treat us like old playthings and put us up on the fucking shelf. Treat us like we're obsolete. Doesn't that make you angry?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah. It does.
:'''Homelander''': What if... What if it doesn't have to be that way? What if you and I... Well, what if we share a different destiny? Something a little more... [[w:scorched earth|scorched earth]]. Shock and awe. Blood and bone. And in the end, only one of us left standing. ''[beat]'' Isn't that what you want?
:'''Butcher''': Too fuckin' right. More than anything.
:'''Homelander''': I look forward to it.
:''[Butcher glances at the cookie jar then at Homelander's seat, which is now vacant]''

===''&quot;The Only Man in the Sky&quot;'' [3.02]===
:''[Butcher tries to convince M.M. to rejoin the Boys. M.M.'s daughter, Janine, is also present.]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Okay, one, you don't just pop up here. You call first. And, two, eff Soldier Boy. I don't give a mothereffin' doo-doo how he checked out.
:'''Butcher''': Ah, bollocks. He didn't die like no hero. I'll wager he went out on his knees, beggin' like a right cunt.
:'''Mother's Milk''': What the f…?
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Janine]'' Sorry, love. ''[to M.M.]'' Look, if there's a weapon out there that killed Soldier Boy, then it can kill Homelander. And that's gotta be worth something. Now, we're workin' our way through his old team. Frenchie and Kimiko are startin' with the Crimson Countess, and I'm gonna hit up Gunpowder.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Sounds like you got everything covered.
:'''Butcher''': This ain't just anyone; it's Soldier Boy. You could close the book on him once and for all. For your dad. Your family.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Fuck off with that shit. ''[pause]'' My father died hunched over a desk, obsessing over a dead man while he was ignoring his two living children. And I almost did the same thing to her. ''[points at the door]'' Thanks for coming by.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat; looks at Janine]'' You're doin' a bang-up job with her, mate.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Annie refuses to sing a sexy rendition of &quot;Happy Birthday&quot; to Homelander for his televised birthday celebration]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': For the record, I know you don't care whether I sing or not. This is a juvenile attempt to get me to look like a sex doll instead of a co-captain. ''[Homelander chuckles]'' I'm not doing it.
:'''Homelander''': I have an idea: Why don't you lighten the fuck up? Come on, you're gonna sing the shit out of this song. Ready? Let's hit it.
:'''Edgar''': ''[chimes in over the PA]'' If Starlight doesn't want to sing, she doesn't sing.
:'''Homelander''': Stan, what a surprise!
:'''Edgar''': Our testing shows that 76 percent of likely viewers will make every effort to watch it tonight for Starlight. As for you, 53 percent might DVR. I think that that means that she can call her own shots, don't you?
:'''Homelander''': So how about I just walk, Stan? How would that rate?
:'''Edgar''': After the PR hole you dug for yourself this past year, I'd say you're lucky we're even putting on this farce at all. But hey, it's your party. You can cry if you want to.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Butcher''': ''[standing besides Gunpowder at the washroom urinal]'' 'Scuse me, Mr. Powder. I'm your number one fan. I've bought all your rifles. Every one of 'em. That Vought VR-15? Ooh…
:'''Gunpowder''': That is a hell of a gun. Smooth trigger pull.
:'''Butcher''': Smooth. I'd shake your hand, but uh… Well, you know.
:'''Gunpowder''': Well, I appreciate that.
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, I followed you since your Payback days. I mean, fourteen years old, picked to be Soldier Boy's sidekick. 
:'''Gunpowder''': He was a great man. Well, it's nice meeting you, buddy.
:'''Butcher''': You must've been chuffed, eh? Helpin' him on those missions, lettin' him watch you on the bog, stick his finger up your bum a bit, give him a sloppy little nosh. All in a day's work for a young ward, innit?
:'''Gunpowder''': Like I haven't heard that sidekick pedo shit a thousand times before. Why don't you do me a big favor, buddy, and fuck off!
:'''Butcher''': You're right. I'm sorry. That's a filthy unsubstantiated rumour.
:'''Gunpowder''': Goddamn right it is.
:'''Butcher''': ''[holds up paper]'' Till now. This is a complaint you filed to Vought, beggin' to be taken off Payback on account of, and I quote, &quot;Soldier Boy's habitual abuse&quot;. Of course, they buried it–Vought bein' the cunts they are.
:'''Gunpowder''': That right there is a fake.
:'''Butcher''': Course it is.
:'''Gunpowder''': I'm sorry, who are you?
:'''Butcher''': I told you. Biggest fan. And I wanna help ya. Keep shtum. It'd be a cryin' shame if your red-meat faithful out there found out you were Soldier Boy's underage nob-gobbler. Now, all I wanna know is what happened to him, and you're gonna tell me.
:'''Gunpowder''': Or maybe I put a bullet in your head.
:'''Butcher''': You do that, and it'll be all over the interweb within an hour. 
:'''Gunpowder''': See, buddy, I don't give a shit. 'Cause that never happened. Soldier Boy never touched me like that!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander arrives to save a woman named Chelsea from jumping off the edge of a building]''
:'''Homelander''': Hi, Chelsea. It's your lucky day. Well, considering you're my annual birthday save.
:'''Chelsea''': Don't come any closer.
:'''Homelander''': Life is a precious gift. To throw yours away would be a real slap in the Lord's face, don't you think? You don't wanna go to Hell for all eternity, do you?
:'''Chelsea''': I'm Jewish.
:'''Homelander''': Alright. Well, regardless, just step back from the ledge, please.
:''[Ashley is giving direction to the camera crew on the street below them]''
:'''Ashley''': Okay, that's good. Just don't be afraid of the zoom. You're not Roger Deakins. Mike, frame up. He could be flying down any second.
:'''Mike''': Yep. You got it.
:'''Ashley''': ''[checks an alert on her phone and looks up]'' Oh, fuck!
:'''Homelander''': Come on, look. I'm here now. If you jump, I'm just gonna fly down and save you anyway. It's all futile and...
:''[Homelander notices a breaking news story about Stormfront's suicide on a billboard]''
:'''Homelander''': She–She wouldn't… It's my... It's my birthday. She... ''[beat; to Chelsea]'' You probably don't know this–because, you know, Jew–but Jesus wasn't born on the 25th of December. [[w:Yule|That was piggybacked off a pagan festival]], and guess what? Today is not my birthday either. Nope. Don't know when it is, but sure as hell ain't today. This was just chosen for me by a marketing department. I mean, I can't even have a birthday at all. I wasn't born. I was just poured out of a fucking test tube. Immaculate conception. I know exactly how he must have felt. Jesus. You give and you give… ''[stutters]'' You give your whole ''fucking'' life, and what happens? People just tear you down. Why do people destroy their gods? How is it fair that you get saved while a beautiful, perfect god gets killed? ''[beat]'' You know what, Chelsea? ''[pause]'' I think you ''should'' jump.
:'''Chelsea''': I–I don't think I want to.
:'''Homelander''': You don't want to? Why don't you show a little follow-through, Chelsea? Jump.
:'''Chelsea''': Please, I... I just wanna get down.
:'''Homelander''': I'm not suggesting anymore. '''Jump.'''
:'''Chelsea''': No. No, please. Oh, God… Oh, God!
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no. No God. The only man in the sky ''is '''me'''''. ''[his eyes light up]''
:'''Ashley''': How the fuck did she bite off her own tongue? Stormfront [[w:Million Dollar Baby|Million Dollar Babied]] herself. It was horrible.
:''[Chelsea leaps from the building and lands on the ground in a sickening splat. Homelander looks down disheartened.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Neuman''': Who's Nadia?
:'''Hughie''': Nadia?
:'''Neuman''': Yeah, Scotty said some guy came in yesterday, asking for Nadia.
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. Yeah, no, there was–there was a guy, and he... he was looking at your picture, he said your name was Nadia. Said he knew you… from, like, way back when.
:'''Neuman''': You weren't gonna tell me?
:'''Hughie''': Uh, no. I mean, it was just some guy off his meds, seemed like. Yeah.
:'''Neuman''': I'm sorry. I–I mean, you're missing work, your hand. A lot going on. Is there something I should know?
:''[Annie suddenly shows up to cover for Hughie]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': He was with me. I'm sorry for stealing him away from you, but… we had some things that we needed to discuss. Very loudly, actually. We made quite the scene at Panera.
:'''Hughie''': Oh.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I mean, it's a miracle nobody recognized me.
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, sorry. I was–I was trying to preserve just a tiny, little shred of my dignity, but uh… we had a fight.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': We didn't leave things in the greatest place, so I thought I would come by and…
:'''Hughie''': Check up on me?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Well, I was worried about you.
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, well, you know I can handle some things by myself, right?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Okay, I'm just trying to help.
:'''Hughie''': I don't always need your help. I mean, you don't have to treat me like I'm a kid.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Here I was thinking that I was treating you like my boyfriend.
:'''Hughie''': Well, you–
:'''Neuman''': You know, this is actually none of my business, so I'm just–I'm gonna go. Good luck with all of that. Oh, and Hughie?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah?
:'''Neuman''': Cut her some slack. You shouldn't be afraid of a powerful woman.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': Butcher?
:'''Butcher''': You alright, mate?
:'''Hughie''': Hey, um… Frenchie told me about Crimson Countess. What the hell happened?
:'''Butcher''': We was chasin' down something, but… I–I'm gonna knock it on the head. You was right the other day. Things are good. Ryan's good. I should leave it well enough alone before I go and fuck it all up. [pause; Hughie is silent] You there?
:'''Hughie''': Neuman's a Supe.
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, what?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, she's pretty much Stan Edgar's daughter, too. Past year of my life has been a waste. I thought we could fight Vought the right way, but we can't. It's all rigged. If we're gonna take them down, we have to do whatever it takes. We have to do it your way.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[A-Train walks out on stage to present the next segment of Homelander's televised birthday special. He is wearing a completely new supersuit]''
:'''Ashley''': What the fuck is he wearing?!
:'''Announcer''': Yeah, alright. Let's hear it for Supersonic, everybody.
:'''Ashley''': Get me fucking wardrobe! Get me fucking wardrobe so I can fucking choke them out!
:'''A-Train''': Alright, so now, I would like to bring out our co-captains. So let's give it up for Starlight and the man of the hour himself, Homelander! Happy birthday, Homelander.
:'''Homelander''': Hey, thank you.
:'''A-Train''': Yeah.
:'''Homelander''': ''[muffled by the cheers while feigning his smile]'' I can see your girdle, you disgusting fat fuck! Get off the fucking stage!
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Wow, I'm so honored to be with you guys tonight to celebrate my dear friend and mentor, Homelander. I'm here to do more than wish you a happy birthday, though. I'm thrilled to be announcing a project that is near and dear to my heart. The Starlight House is a nonprofit foundation dedicated to helping homeless and at-risk youth.
:'''Audience Heckler''': Hey, Homelander! Your Nazi died!
:'''Ashley''': Did he just say his Nazi died?
:'''Security''': ''[to audience heckler, grabbing him by shoulders]'' Let's go.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Homelander… He's just–He's a human. He's just like the rest of us. And we all make mistakes, right? But we all deserve second chances. In that spirit, Homelander has agreed to donate $10 million to the Starlight House, which is–I mean…
:'''Homelander''': No!
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Give–Come on. Give it up!
:'''Homelander''': No!
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Give it up for this guy!
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no! Starlight lied to you just now. She did. I don't make mistakes! I'm not &quot;just like the rest of you&quot;! I'm stronger, I'm smarter, I… I'm better! I '''AM''' BETTER! I'm not some ''weak-kneed'' fucking crybaby that goes around fucking ''apologizing'' all the time! And why the ''fuck'' would you want me to be?!
:'''Ashley''': Quick, Roger! Stop rolling, go to fucking commercial! Go to fucking commercial!
:'''Homelander''': ''[pointing to an offscreen camera operator]'' Don't you DARE stop rolling, Roger! All my life, people have tried to control me my whole life. Rich people–powerful people–tried to muzzle me, cancel me, keep me impotent and obedient like I'm a fucking puppet! And you know what, it worked. Because I ''allowed'' it to work, and guess what? If they can control me, then you can ''bet your ass'' they can control you! They already do. You just don't realize it. ''[pause]'' I'm done. I am done apologizing, I am done being persecuted for my strength. You people should be ''thanking Christ'' that I am who and what I am, BECAUSE YOU NEED ME! '''YOU NEED ME TO SAVE YOU!''' You do. I am the ''only'' one who ''possibly'' can. You're not the real heroes. ''I'm the real hero.'' ''[beat]'' '''''I am the real hero.'''''

===''&quot;Barbary Coast&quot;'' [3.03]===
:''[Hughie is surprised to see M.M. setting up his desk in the Boys' Flatiron Building office]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The prodigal son returns.
:'''Hughie''': What the fuck? Hey, man. ''[laughs as M.M. hugs him]'' Yeah… Wait. Wait, are you… Are you back?
:'''Mother's Milk''': We'll see.
:'''Hughie''': Don't get me wrong. I'm happy, but are–are you sure?
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[sees the bloody bandage on Hughie's hand]'' What the fuck happened here, kid? You jacking off with razors again?
:'''Hughie''': You know, you should see the other guy. The other guy's my penis.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' I missed you, kid.
:'''Hughie''': I missed you, too, man. ''[pause; notices Butcher staring at him and sighs]'' Look, I know what you're gonna say, and I just–
:'''Butcher''': No. No, mate. I'm just chuffed to have all the Boys back under the same roof, alright?
:'''Hughie''': Really?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah. ''[to Frenchie and M.M.]'' I mean, there he was, right? In his fancy pants, lordin' it over us like the viceroy of Vought Square, eh? And that whole time, he weren't nothin' but a Supe's bootlick.
:'''Hughie''': Yeah.
:'''Butcher''': That, my son, is a Lifetime Achievement at the Cunt of the Year Awards, innit?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, it is. It is a Lifetime Achievement. ''[Butcher laughs]'' Are you done?
:'''Butcher''': No, mate. I am just gettin' started, believe you me.
:'''Hughie''': Great. Listen, we need to get Ryan somewhere safe. Vicky knows where she is because we fucking told her, which means Stan Edgar knows, too.
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, one step ahead. Colonel's already done a runner with the boy. They're well outta sight. In fact, we were gonna pay 'em a little visit.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We are?
:'''Frenchie''': Monsieur Charcutier, I cannot go. I have a matter of great importance.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, I'm sorry. I must've forgot to run it by your bleedin' secretary!
:'''Frenchie''': It's an emergency!
:'''Hughie''': I–I'll go instead.
:'''Butcher''': Nah, you skive off today, and that congresswoman might split your pretty little buns.
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, thought of that. Uh, Kimiko. ''[pause; Kimiko removes her headphones]'' Kimiko, hi. Can you please… break my arm? Vicky will smell it if I fake being sick, so it's gotta be real, and it's gotta last for days.
:'''Butcher''': ''[laughing]'' Fuckin' hell, Hughie!
:'''Frenchie''': At least take something for the pain. I got opium. ''[tosses prescription bottle to Hughie]''
:'''Hughie''': Government employees can't fail a piss test. ''[tosses prescription bottle back to Frenchie; to Kimiko]'' Let's just get this over with, okay? Just do it pretty fast.
:''[Kimiko takes Hughie's left arm and prepares to twist it]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hold on. Hold up, hold up. Have a seat, please. Only been here three minutes, and it's already The Bold and the Batshit. ''[puts garbage bag on Hughie's lap]'' Alright, go ahead.
:''[Kimiko places one hand on Hughie's shoulder and the other near his wrist]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Nah, nah, nah! ''[points at Hughie's forearm]'' Right here. Clean break, no permanent damage.
:'''Hughie''': ''[takes a deep breath]'' Yeah? ''[pause; Kimiko nods]'' One, two–
:''[Kimiko snaps Hughie's arm, making him scream in pain. Butcher calmly watches while drinking his tea.]''
:'''Hughie''': WHAT THE SHIT?!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mallory''': Neuman's head of the Bureau because I said so. I tried to save her from the attack on Congress that she fucking caused!
:'''Hughie''': Well, at least you didn't spend the last year getting her oatmilk lattes and every piece of intel she asked for.
:'''Mallory''': ''[to Butcher]'' I would very much like to know the plan to eliminate her.
:'''Butcher''': Well, that depends on what you can tell us about your little holiday down in Nicaragua.
:'''Mallory''': ''[pause]'' I've never been to Nicaragua.
:'''Butcher''': Really? 'Cause a little birdie told me you were Payback's case officer down there, on a classified job that Soldier Boy never come back from.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[pause; Mallory scoffs]'' Colonel?
:'''Mallory''': Whatever it is William thinks he may have heard… he's mistaken.
:'''Butcher''': Is he? You know that safe you got in your home office? The one behind the picture of [[w:George H. W. Bush|Bush number one]]? Well, I borrowed a ledger from it–the one with all your assets around the world. How long do you think them and their families will last when I put every one of their fuckin' names on Facebook?
:'''Mallory''': You'd sign the death warrants of dozens of innocent people who had nothing to do with this?
:'''Butcher''': I'm embarrassed for the both of us that you're askin'.
:'''Mallory''': ''[pause]'' Nicaragua's ancient history. Not to mention, I could be killed just for telling you.
:'''Butcher''': And all your agents will get killed if you don't. ''[pulls out chair and sits down]'' Blimey. What a pickle. 
:'''Mallory''': ''[beat]'' It was part of Operation Charly.
:'''Hughie''': Operation… Charly?
:'''Mallory''': Reagan's pet project, off the books. Helped the Contra rebels fight the Russian-backed [[w:Sandinista National Liberation Front|Sandinistas]], but we needed a way to pay for it. Some of the cash came from selling arms to Iran. Oliver North's epic fuck-up. But the rest? If there's one thing that the Contras had plenty of, it was cocaine. I was in charge of trafficking the coke into the U.S. and then using the profits to buy more weapons in the fight against the Reds. Whatever it took.
:'''Mother's Milk''': That's some self-justifying bullshit. Were you part of that other thing, too?
:'''Hughie''': What other thing?
:'''Mother's Milk''': She knows. ''[to Mallory]'' Tell him.
:'''Mallory''': The unwritten policy was to sell the cocaine strictly to minority neighborhoods–destabilize, demoralize–while staying out of white ones. Late in '84, we were gearing up for a major offensive. So the higher-ups, in their infinite wisdom, decided it was the perfect time to throw a wrench in the works: Fucking Payback. Each more ridiculous than the next: Crimson Countess, Mindstorm, Swatto, the TNT Twins, Noir, Gunpowder, and the most idiotic of them all…

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Butcher''': You came to me after Becca disappeared and promised me Homelander's head. And all this time, you knew there was something that could do the job, and you never said a fuckin' word!
:'''Mallory''': Whatever this weapon is, it probably won't work on Homelander.
:'''Butcher''': And what if it does?!
:'''Mallory''': Even worse. Because it wouldn't end with him. You'd go after another Supe, then another, then all of them.
:'''Butcher''': If you'd have told me about this sooner, Homelander might already be dead! Ryan wouldn't be runnin' from one safe house to the next, wonderin' when his nutter dad's gonna drop outta the sky! And Becca… Becca might still be alive. And for that… I'll never fuckin' forgive ya.
:'''Mallory''': This was never about Ryan or Becca. It was always selfish. Always and only for you. For the hate inside that you want to let loose on the world. I thought maybe you changed, but I was wrong. You ''are'' your father. Always have been.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Homelander''': ''[to Annie]'' Ashley tells me that you chose Silver Kinca… Kincaid.
:'''Ashley''': ''[nods]'' Mm-hmm.
:'''Homelander''': I have notes. I mean, I'm a co-captain. It's only fair I have a say in the new recruits, right?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': No. Actually, I choose the new members.
:'''Homelander''': But I am pitching the craziest twist. The audience will never see it coming, right?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Well, I've made my decision.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, come on! You haven't even heard it yet! Seriously, you're–you're gonna love it. Ready?
:''[Ashley opens the doors and reveals…]''
:'''Homelander''': Return of the Deep!
:'''The Deep''': Hey. What's up, guys? How are you?
:''[Annie is visibly upset at seeing the Deep and his wife, Cassandra at the door]''
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no, no. Starlight, before you say anything, doesn't Christ tell us to turn the other cheek?
:'''Cassandra''': ''[hugs Annie]'' I really want us to be sisters.
:'''The Deep''': I had something made for you, Starlight. It's a peace offering. ''[opens a jeweler box with a gold dolphin necklace inside]'' It's 24-karat gold with certified conflict-free diamonds. I've put in the work. And I realize that when you've made an unforgivable mistake, the first person you have to forgive… is yourself.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': What makes you think that I want a daily reminder of the guy who fucking mouth-raped me?! ''[to Homelander]'' I need a word.
:'''Ashley''': Let's let these two chat, shall we?
:''[Ashley leads The Deep and Cassandra out of the room, leaving the door slightly ajar]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[to Homelander]'' Absolutely not.
:'''Homelander''': Do you really think I'm gonna let a fucking Muslim in The Seven? Captain Al-Qaeda? We're ''Americans.''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I'm taking this to Mr. Edgar.
:'''Homelander''': My speech last night? Thirty-eight-point-six rating and a 59 share. Oh, and they're saying that the live-plus-threes are gonna be even bigger. Edgar said it himself: Popularity is power. He won't die on this hill.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[pause]'' Do I need to remind you of the Flight video?
:''[Homelander scoffs, gets up and closes the door shut]''
:'''Homelander''': Go ahead. Release it. Let's light this candle, huh? I mean, sure, I'll lose everything, but then… I'll have nothing to lose. First, I'll take out the nerve centers: White House, Pentagon. Then, any domestic defense capabilities, and then critical infrastructure like cellular, Internet–that kind of thing. And then… Well, I think then I'll just wipe New York off the fucking map. For fun. I'll even throw in Des Moines and that little cousin-fucker hick town that Maeve's from, 'cause why not? See, Starlight, I'd prefer to be loved. I would. But if you take that away from me… Well, being feared is A-one okey-doke by me. So… go ahead, partner. Do it. ''[pause; Annie doesn't say anything]'' No? You don't wanna to do it? Well, then I would have to say that you have absolutely no fucking leverage ''because I am '''the Homelander'''''… and I really can do whatever the fuck I want.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': Hey, Annie.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Homelander's had a breakdown. He's lost his fucking mind.
:'''Hughie''': Hey, hey, hey. Hey, slow down. Slow down. What?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': He's bringing the Deep back into The Seven, so I brought up the video, and he said to go ahead and release it. You were right. Co-captain was a bad idea. I have to leave.
:'''Hughie''': Look, I–I know I should tell you to run out of there like a house on fire, and I want to… ''[sighs]'' but you gotta stick it out.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I'm sorry?
:'''Hughie''': Listen, I'm–I'm back with Butcher.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Why?
:'''Hughie''': We're onto something that could kill Homelander.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': What? What is it?
:'''Hughie''': Some kind of weapon. Uh… I'm not sure, but you gotta buy us some time. Keep your eyes on him.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': How much time?
:'''Hughie''': Uh…
:'''Annie/Starlight''': You don't know. So for God knows how long, I have to paste on a smile with Homelander growing more unstable by the hour, hoping that he doesn't kill me or worse.
:'''Hughie''': If that's what it takes, then yeah. ''[pause; sighs]'' I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Just… Homelander and Vicky, they–they're running laps around us because… because we keep trying to do it the right way. The high road just doesn't work. We–We have to be as mean and fucked-up as they are.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Now you sound like…
:'''Hughie''': Like Butcher, I know. But Annie, he's... he's right. He's been right all along. I'm just so… tired of losing.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[sighs]'' Okay. You better pull this off, Hughie, but… okay.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander and Annie are filming the finale of their Vought reality show]''
:'''Homelander''': Well, this has been quite a long road for all of you. You've shown us the best of what heroes can be.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': The first of the two selections, and the newest member of The Seven is… Supersonic.
:''[Supersonic walks up to the centerstage and hugs Annie]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[shakes Supersonic's hand]'' Welcome.
:'''Supersonic''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Homelander''': ''[in Spanish]'' My friend, the honor is all mine, brother. ''[chuckles; Supersonic is weirded out]'' Well... this is it. The final new member of The Seven is… ''[beat]'' Lord of the Seven Seas, The Deep!
:''[A spotlight shines on The Deep, who is standing behind them, far away from the stage. The other two female Supe finalists, Silver Kincaid and Moonshadow look disgusted and distraught.]''
:'''Homelander''': Get up here, you!
:'''The Deep''': Alright!
:'''Homelander''': Welcome back.
:'''The Deep''': Good to see you.
:'''Homelander''': You, too.
:'''The Deep''': ''[to Supersonic]'' Congratulations, bro.
:'''Supersonic''': You, too.
:'''Homelander''': Alright. ''[to Silver Kincaid and Moonshadow]'' Well, unfortunately, it won't be either of you two. I'm sure you understand, you just can't put a price on experience.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Please hang up your capes and go.
:'''Homelander''': Now Deep, I gotta say, I am… Well, frankly, I'm moved and inspired that Starlight here has chosen to forgive you.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I accept your apology, Deep. You deserve a second chance.
:'''The Deep''': Thank you, Starlight. Looks like we've all grown.
:'''Homelander''': Just to be clear, it wasn't my idea to bring you back, buster. Not at all. Starlight here insisted on it. But you keep your distance, pal, because… Well… ''[laughs]'' she's my girl now.
:''[Annie laughs uncomfortably as Homelander wraps his arm around her]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[chuckles softly]'' Sorry, I–I can't keep it a secret anymore. It's time we let the world know. Starlight and I are in love. #HomeLight.

===''&quot;Glorious Five Year Plan&quot;'' [3.04]===
:''[Hughie closes his laptop after seeing the Homelight clip]''
:'''Hughie''': When's it air?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Tonight.
:'''Hughie''': #Homelight. You agreed to this?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': It's like what you said, Hughie. Whatever it takes. This is… This is what it takes.
:'''Hughie''': ''[pause]'' Hey… ''[takes Annie's hand]'' it's gonna be okay. Really. Let me save you for once.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[sighs]'' Hughie… This has to work.
:'''Hughie''': It'll work.
:'''Homelander''': ''[enters common room]'' What'll work?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Uh, my VoughtSonic speaker setup. I'm sorry, how did you get in?
:'''Homelander''': I have a key. ''[pause]'' Yeah, I gotta keep an eye on my best girl, right? By the way, you're a sound sleeper, Starlight. ''[pause; Annie and Hughie look shocked]'' Oh, look at you two. I'm kidding. Come on, lighten up. I'm joking! But we gotta go. Running late. ''[to Hughie]'' Rolling Stone cover shoot, hot issue. We got &quot;Hottest Ship.&quot;
:''[Homelander takes out a Sharpie pen and signs an autograph with it on Hughie's cast]''
:'''Homelander''': Don't you worry, Hughie. This little love affair is strictly for the cameras. Although, that's how me and Maeve started out, and that… ''[inhales sharply]'' got quite spicy. ''[laughs]'' Yeah, I'm not kidding, man. Let's just say that Maeve [[w:Fellatio|can bend a steel pipe without using her hands]]. ''[pause; chuckles]'' What's she like? She a good fuck?
:''[Annie's eyes start glowing and Hughie gradually inches up towards Homelander]''
:'''Homelander''': Whoa.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Touch him or anyone he cares about, and I'll walk. And I'll take my approval points with me.
:'''Homelander''': ''[whispers to Hughie]'' Women. ''[to Annie]'' I'm kidding. You really need to lighten up, guys.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Ashley''': Victoria Neuman is doing a press conference tonight.
:'''Homelander''': So?
:'''Ashley''': It's about you.
:'''Homelander''': …And you're just finding out about it now?
:'''Ashley''': I'm sure it's a nothing burger. ''[chuckles]''
:'''Homelander''': Hey, come here for a sec. ''[Ashley approaches him]'' Is your idiot brain getting fucked by stupid? It's not rhetorical. Answer me.
:'''Ashley''': No. My idiot brain is not getting fucked by stupid, sir.
:'''Homelander''': ''[scoffs]'' Well, then go and do your only job and find out what the ''fuck'' is going on, Ashley!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''A-Train''': Who asked you? Back there. Who the fuck asked you for your opinion?
:'''The Deep''': ''[offended]'' I am a member of this team.
:'''A-Train''': Please. ''[pause; looks around]'' Homelander's a great man, ''[lowers his voice]'' but the way that you kiss his ass is fuckin' gross.
:'''The Deep''': Hey, man. Look, I get it, okay? This is tough. You know, me handpicked by Homelander to come back, and you on your way out again. And a rebrand? This late in the game? Ouch. The new A-Train... How'd that work out for Eagle the Archer when he became Eagle the Rapper? Oh, that's right; it fucking didn't. It's just sad, man.
:'''A-Train''': You're like Ashton Kutcher fucked a clownfish. You're a joke. And you're so dumb, you don't even know it.
:'''The Deep''': ''[gets in A-Train's face and whispers angrily in his ear]'' Oh, yeah? Well, how about I tell Homelander who really leaked all that Nazi shit on Stormfront?
:'''A-Train''': How about I tell him you fished the Flight 37 video out of the Atlantic and gave it to Maeve?
:'''The Deep''': ''[shoves A-Train]'' What, come on! Run at me, bro! I forgot your legs don't fuckin' work!
:''[A-Train punches him hard in the chest]''
:'''The Deep''': ''[doubled over in pain]'' You gill-punched me!
:'''A-Train''': Yeah!
:'''The Deep''': Motherfucker!
:''[The Deep tackles A-Train into the wall, but both collapse to the ground, groaning in pain. Homelander walks up to them]''
:'''Homelander''': Boys, boys, boys…
:''[Homelander helps The Deep stand back up and pats him on the back, then looks down at A-Train still hunched on the ground]''
:'''Homelander''': [[w:racism|A-Train... just stay there and rest those useless fuckin' legs]].

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mother's Milk''': Butcher, what the fuck is wrong with you, man?
:'''Butcher''': I'm sure you're gonna tell me.
:'''Mother's Milk''': That shit you pulled with Ryan and now this cold-hearted shit you said to Kimiko? How could anybody be such a ''complete'' asshole?
:'''Butcher''': Practice.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You knocked on ''my'' doorstep, motherfucker. Now, I respect the chain of command, but this? I'm not gonna tolerate your bullshit anymore, man.
:'''Butcher''': Do you remember when we met?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hard to forget.
:'''Butcher''': Me and the colonel, we had our pick of officers. Some, uh... ''[chuckles softly]'' Some real haircuts. D'you ever wonder why we picked some grunt Marine stuck in the brig?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Let's see. I knocked out my racist C.O. Sent him to the ICU with one punch, so you knew I was strong. And you read my file, so you knew I hated Vought.
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, it weren't none of them. I mean, they didn't hurt, mind ya, but no. We spoke to the blokes that you went through basic with. And to the man, they said that you were the one that held that platoon together. A natural-born leader.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You never told me that.
:'''Butcher''': Mate, I'm under no illusions about who I am. And that's why we brought you in. 'Cause no matter how hard I gotta be… you're here to look after the Boys. Now, if I thought to do that, I can't be a complete arsehole, can I? Just mostly one.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie enters the bathroom just as Butcher is about to inject himself with V24]''
:'''Hughie''': Butcher, can I uh... ''[Butcher breathes heavily]'' What are you doing?
:'''Butcher''': Contingency. In case things go arse over tit at the lab.
:'''Hughie''': ''[pause; closes the door]'' I wanna try some.
:'''Butcher''': Don't be daft. This shit is poison, Hughie. A lad like you don't want no part of it.
:'''Hughie''': What, you mean like a loser? A fuck-up?
:'''Butcher''': Sooner or later, Homelander will find Ryan, okay? It's just a matter of time. I have to do this, alright? You don't.
:'''Hughie''': Annie's in just as much danger. Homelander almost lasered me in half in front of her, and it was like... it was like I was back with every bully that I ever had, just taking it. And then she had to save me ''again!'' Butcher, please. Please. Please… because right now, I am so angry that I can't even ''breathe.''
:'''Butcher''': ''[sighs]'' Oh, Hughie… It's shittier. It's not power; it's punishment. You don't deserve none of it.
:'''Hughie''': What, and you do?
:'''Butcher''': Get ready to go. ''[closes the door on Hughie]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Edgar''': You do have a hell of a view from up here. I'll give you that.
:'''Homelander''': You should see it from space. ''[pause; stares at Edgar]'' Unbelievable. 80 over 60. Your entire life is imploding and it's as if you're reading fuckin' John Grisham. I heard about your, uh, temporary leaves of absence by the way. Those things do have a ''nasty'' habit of becoming permanent, though, don't they? Don't blame Vicky, either–
:'''Edgar''': I don't. If there's one thing I taught her, it was to play all sides. She's more like me than I ever imagined. But I am curious. What did you give her?
:'''Homelander''': A little respect, Stan. Something you should've given me.
:'''Edgar''': What good would that do? Where would it even go but to the bottomless, gaping pit of insecurity you call a soul?
:'''Homelander''': ''[shudders playfully; laughs]'' Oh, God. You wanna know something? I used to be intimidated by you. I did. And now I look at you, I'm just… I–I have no idea why. Truly, you're not even pathetic. You're–You're just... nothing.
:'''Edgar''': Then why are you still here, looking for my approval like I'm your daddy? And even if I were, what would there be to approve of? The company is yours. No one left to stand up to you. But I think you'll come to sorely regret that.
:'''Homelander''': And why is that?
:'''Edgar''': Because there's no one left to cover for you either. Eventually–probably soon–the world will recognize you for the pitiful disappointment you are. You are not worthy of my respect. You are not a god. You are simply bad product.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'm fucking with you. Get over yourself. You really think my grandmother's gonna let me marry the whitest girl in all of white?

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Homelander''': I have a view I really wanna show you. It's gonna blow your mind. Hold on tight.
:''[Homelander carries Annie and they fly up to the rooftop of the building they walked out of]''
:'''Homelander''': This really is a beautiful city.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': You know, you don't need to do this. The cameras are gone.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs]'' Yeah. But, see, that's the thing about me, Starlight. If I promise something, I deliver. ''[turns Annie around and points at something offscreen]'' Now, ''that'' is the view of a lifetime.
:''[Annie is horrified to see the brutally beaten corpse of Supersonic]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Alex… Alex! Oh, my God! You fucking psycho! ''[her eyes start glowing]''
:'''Homelander''': Stop it! You know how that ends. ''[brief pause; Annie's eyes return to normal]'' And besides, this is your fault as much as it is mine.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': What?
:'''Homelander''': A-Train told me about you two mutineers and your little plot. You just don't get it, do you? I mean, you have no fucking grasp of the situation you're in at all, right? I'm gonna break it down one more time, and I'm gonna make it crystal clear so that even you can understand it, okay? There will be no more plotting, planning, playing around. That is over, okay? From here on out, there is only my dutiful, loving main squeeze Starlight, worshipping me and me alone. Because if you step one inch out of line–I mean, if you so much as fucking blink the wrong way–then ''[points at Supersonic's corpse]'' that, my love, will be Hughie. Do you understand this time? ''[pause; Annie just nods and cries]'' Good. Then, say it. So I know. &quot;That'll be Hughie.&quot;
:'''Annie/Starlight''': That'll be Hughie.
:'''Homelander''': There it is. ''[sighs]'' Find your own way home.

===''&quot;The Last Time to Look on This World of Lies&quot;'' [3.05]===
:''[The Boys take shelter after Kimiko is incapacitated from losing her powers to Soldier Boy]''
:'''Butcher''': ''[to M.M.]'' Listen, mate, we can't hang about here lookin' for him, right? He's Ivan's problem now. We gotta get Kimiko home to a proper doctor.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You don't give a shit about Kimiko. Or anyone else.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, come off it, mate. Look, I took a fuckin' drug. And in case you forgot, I just saved your life.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[pause]'' You killed Gunpowder, didn't you? Did you use your little laser eyes?
:'''Butcher''': You're too fuckin' right, I did. And it felt good. For once, I leveled the fuckin' playing field.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Butcher, the whole point of what we do–''the whole goddamn point''–is that no one should have that kind of power.
:'''Butcher''': Well, ain't that just fuckin' fairies and dancin' dildos, eh? I happen to live right down here, mate. On planet Earth.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Annie, who is grieving for Supersonic, arrives at her and Hughie's apartment]''
:'''Hughie''': Hey, come here. Come here. ''[hugs Annie]'' I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. 
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I shouldn't be here. It's not safe for you.
:'''Hughie''': I don't care. It's okay.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Hughie, Homelander killed Alex. He fucking murdered him, and it's all my fault.
:'''Hughie''': Hey… It is not your fault. Come here, come here. Come here. ''[takes Annie to the kitchen]'' We got Charleston Chew. We got Almond Joy, Bit-O-Honey. There's White Claws in the fridge. Some of that gross lavender bath bomb shit in the tub. Look, I know this doesn't make this any better, but I just… Let me take care of you for a second.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Tell me you found it.
:'''Hughie''': ''[sighs]'' Moscow was a dead end. I'm sorry.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': No weapon or gun or anything? ''[pause]'' Fuck. Then what killed Soldier Boy?
:'''Hughie''': You know what? I'm gonna get you a White Claw.
:''[Annie notices that Hughie is no longer wearing his arm cast]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Uh, Hughie? Your arm is broken. Where the hell is your cast?
:'''Hughie''': You're ''really'' gonna want a White Claw.
:''[Cut to Annie sitting in their kitchen opening a third White Claw right after finishing two]''
:'''Hughie''': Wow. Alright. Gonna have another one. Um... I'm just trying to get a bead on what part you're most upset about. Is it the part where Soldier Boy's loose in Russia, or the part where I took some temporary Compound V?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Um… it could be both parts. Uh, all the parts.
:'''Hughie''': I told you right away, though, right? That's–That's... No secrets. That's gotta be worth some points.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': You want points for not lying to me?
:'''Hughie''': I... would like to retract that statement. Um–
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Hughie, you shot up an untested drug from Vought. You could've gotten yourself killed!
:'''Hughie''': We don't have any more. And even if we did, I–I wouldn't take it. It was awful. Like, ''[groans]'' the hangover–all of it–just… absolutely hated it. ''[sighs]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': …You loved it.
:'''Hughie''': I really fucking loved it! It was awesome! I mean, you know me. If a guy in the car next to me gives me a dirty look, I'm like fucking Dom Torreto taking off, trying to get away from him. 'Cause I'm quick and I'm all about family. But in Russia… ''[chuckles]'' I wasn't scared. I–I... I saved M.M. Me! I could, like, teleport.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Teleport?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, I... I just–I knew how to do it. I just clenched my butt, and–and I jumped, and–
:'''Annie/Starlight''': No. Hughie, that was stupid and dangerous. I can't lose you, too.
:'''Hughie''': Oh, God, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're right. ''[sighs again]'' It's over.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': So… what do we do now?
:'''Hughie''': I don't know. But whatever it is, we'll figure it out together. You and me against the world, right? I love you.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I love you, too.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Butcher and Queen Maeve get drunk during their meet-up]''
:'''Butcher''': I done 'em all: Coke, E, meth, smack. ''[holds up V24 sample]'' Ain't nothing like this. Used to be months of leg work to take down a Supe. Gunpowder… not even a New York minute.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Must've felt good.
:'''Butcher''': I hated every second. ''[shakes his head]'' No. The V just made me more… me. With great power comes the absolute certainty that you'll turn into a right cunt. ''[sips from the bottle]'' I mean, that's the thing, right? You're all just people. All the V does is just amp up all that shit that's already inside. Your lot? Just a bunch of walkin' nuclear erections, y'know? And it's not just Homelander. I mean, you–you fuckin' all gotta go. Every fuckin' last… one of ya.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Yeah.
:''[Maeve drunkenly kisses Butcher. They simultaneously get up from the couch and stare at each other.]''
:'''Queen Maeve''': What? You still think you're too good for me?

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''The Legend''': I swear on my kids' lives.
:'''Butcher''': You hate your fucking kids.
:'''The Legend''': So would you, if you met them.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Homelander''': You think it really was Edgar and the mayor, maybe Jake Tapper? Just trying to fuck with me? Make me look ridiculous?
:'''Queen Maeve''': Or maybe, you're just a paranoid malignant narcissist who thinks everything is about you.
:'''Homelander''': ''[smiles slyly]'' Mmm, it's not paranoia if they're really out to get you, though. And you, Maeve... You're out to get me, aren't you?
:'''Queen Maeve''': What are you talking about?
:'''Homelander''': William Butcher. I can smell him all over you. You really will do anything to hurt me, won't you? So, what are you and William cooking up, hmm? Maybe you two brought that supervillain to town.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Oh, John. John, come on! You're talking crazy. I'm not cooking anything up with Butcher. Let's talk about this.
:'''Homelander''': Don't you dare fucking &quot;John&quot; me. You're not gonna weasel your way out of this. You know, the real tragic thing in all of this is that more than anyone, I knew what it was like for you. Swarmed everywhere we went. Every little mistake, front-page news. It is lonely at the top, yes. But at least we had each other. We were lonely together. And I loved you in my own... way. But you... what happened? Was anything about us ever real? Hmm?
:'''Queen Maeve''': ''[beat; leans forward and whispers in his ear]'' From the start... I hated you. But what's more... I fucking pitied you.
:'''Homelander''': You're completely and utterly alone. You're getting old and bitter. You pity me? ''[chuckles]'' That's actually kinda funny, don't you think? ''[leans into Maeve's face with a sinister smile]'' Hey… You wanna know something else that's funny?
:''[Homelander looks over Maeve's shoulder and raises his eyebrows. When Maeve turns to look, Black Noir suddenly attacks her.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Ashley''': ''[reads off card of gift flower basket]'' Congrats from Lindsey Graham. ''[to A-Train]'' [[w:perineum|He's such a gooch-licker]]. Anyway, I hope you know how much Homelander appreciates your loyalty. Now more than ever, he needs people he can trust. So, to thank you for being a team player, Homelander has agreed to a meeting with you and Blue Hawk. 
:'''A-Train''': Okay, great. Thanks.
:'''Ashley''': Yeah. I'll just pop outside and get him. ''[walks over to door]''
:'''A-Train''': What? Like, right now?
:'''Ashley''': ''[opens door]'' Hi.
:'''Blue Hawk''': Hey. ''[walks in]'' 
:'''Ashley''': Thanks for coming on such short notice, Blue Hawk.
:'''Blue Hawk''': Oh. ''[points and laughs heartily]'' A-Train, hey. Big fan.
:'''A-Train''': Cool. Yeah. [''Blue Hawk sits''] Blue Hawk... Yeah. I wanted to talk to you about your patrols in [[w:Trenton, New Jersey|Trenton]]. Little excessive.
:'''Blue Hawk''': Hmm? Says who?
:'''A-Train''': Well, a lot of black folks.
:'''Blue Hawk''': No. No. This has nothing to do with... [[w:African American|African Americans]]. You and me both trained with Coach Brink at school. We were taught to dominate totally.
:'''A-Train''': Yeah, but you're mostly just doing it in–in black neighborhoods. And you don't want people to say that you're being racist, right?
:'''Blue Hawk''': You know, it's actually racist to call somebody racist. What is this? Is this, like, a &quot;cancel&quot; thing? Am I being canceled? What can I do to make this right?
:'''A-Train''': Wouldn't take much. ''[chuckles]'' I don't know. Make an apology or some shit.
:'''Ashley''': What a great idea. Thank you for saying that. I'm sure Homelander would really, really appreciate that, Blue Hawk.
:'''Blue Hawk''': Hey, name the time and place. 
:'''Ashley''': It is so important to do the work, to have the difficult conversations. This is so great, you guys.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're that asshole from the lab.
:'''Butcher''': That's right. I'm the arsehole that let you out. Russian Porta-Loos, eh? You want the Countess' head on a spike, don't ya? Well, she's in there. Yours for the takin'. Consider it a gesture of good faith.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Good faith for what?
:'''Butcher''': ''[pause]'' I was thinkin' that you and I could come to a little arrangement. What you lot call… a team-up.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy enters the trailer of Crimson Countess, who is surprised to see him]''
:'''Crimson Countess''': Ben? Is that really you? You look so young.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't.
:'''Crimson Countess''': I'm so, so sorry. It wasn't my idea. God, you gotta believe me. I–I...
:'''Soldier Boy''': How much did the the Russians pay you? Hmm?
:'''Crimson Countess''': They didn't.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What? They didn't pay you anything? ''[pause]'' I loved you. All those years... that they burned me… and that they pumped me full of poison, I held onto the hope that you would come. That you would save me. Because I still loved you.
:'''Crimson Countess''': I didn't love you. I hated you. We all did.  

===''&quot;Herogasm&quot;'' [3.06]===
:'''Soldier Boy''': Where's the Chop Socky Oriental sauce?
:'''Hughie''': They don't… have that anymore?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Why the fuck not?
:'''Hughie''': Many… many good reasons.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Did you get the other shit?
:'''Butcher''': Here you go, guv.
:''[Butcher hands Soldier Boy a bottle of whiskey and some pills]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh… Man, I missed [[w:Amphetamine|bennies]]. It's how we won D-Day, you know? We were wired to the fucking gills.
:'''Butcher''': ''[as Soldier Boy crushes the pills with a jack knife]'' Listen, let's have a little chat about this team-up, yeah?
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the hell do I need a team for? The last one handed me to the Reds.
:'''Butcher''': And we got you outta that pickle. We wrapped up Crimson Countess and delivered her like a fuckin' Christmas turkey, and I even sorted Gunpowder for ya.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What, am I supposed to be impressed with that? That's like killing [[w:Emmanuel Lewis|Emmanuel Lewis]]. ''[laughs; snorts the crushed-up pills]''
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, well, he grew up a bit since you last saw him.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[to Hughie, who is staring at his shield]'' Hands off the fucking shield.
:'''Butcher''': Anyway, you want payback on Payback, don't ya? Well, it just so happens that we are experts at exterminatin' shitbag Supes. You see, it's a whole different world out there now, son. We're here to help you find your way.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, I can find them on my own.
:'''Hughie''': Are you sure? I mean, do you know what a GPS is? Or Bluetooth, or… ''[chuckles]'' the internet?
:'''Soldier Boy''': … ''[smirks]'' You made those words up.
:'''Hughie''': Nope. No, those are real words. And–And you need those to find them, alright? You need us.
:'''Butcher''': Kid's right. All we ask in return is that you add one more name to the list.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Who?
:'''Butcher''': A right cunt named Homelander. 
:'''Soldier Boy''': I've seen pictures. Who is he?
:'''Butcher''': He's the new you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No one's the new me, pal. ''[pause]'' But why him?
:'''Butcher''': Let's just say, you're not the only one who wants payback.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Alright. You help me find the rest of my team, and I'll help you with this Homelander.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mirror Homelander''': Why the long face, tiger?
:'''Homelander''': What if I can't handle him? I mean... If Noir ran--
:'''Mirror Homelander''': Oh, you can handle him. You're the top of the food chain! Hey, hey... when we were kids, alone in the Bad Room, I got us through it, right? Don't I always?
:'''Homelander''': ''[nods]'' Always.
:'''Mirror Homelander''': No matter what.
:'''Homelander''': No matter what.
: '''Mirror Homelander:''' And now, I'll get us through this, just as long as you and me stick together.
:'''Homelander''': What if Edgar's right? What if it was a-- a mistake to take over Vought? And then... I am just talent, and they all know I'm a fraud?
:'''Mirror Homelander''': Now, what do you care what a bunch of mud people think? C'mon. Tell me the real reason, I wanna hear you say it. ''[pause; Homelander hesitates]'' '''SAY IT!'''
:'''Homelander''': I want them to... love me.
:'''Mirror Homelander''': Yahtzee! Only it never seems to work out, does it? Madelyn, Maeve, Stormfront, even your own son. So why do you keep running headfirst into the same brick wall?
:'''Homelander''': ''[looks down and shakes his head]'' I don't know.
:'''Mirror Homelander''': Mmm, pants on fire, you know? It's because, deep down, there's a part of you that is still... ''human.''
:'''Homelander''': ''[on the verge of tears]'' No...
:'''Mirror Homelander''': Mmm-hmm, part of you is. A ''dirty, shrivelled, anemic'' little part of you that still ''mewls'' for approval and love, and a ''mommy'' and a ''daddy'' and ''oh, '''boo-hoo-hoo!'''''
:''[As mirror Homelander says this, the real Homelander cries in shame]''
:'''Mirror Homelander''': Look at me, tiger. Look at me. We gotta cut that part of you out like a ''cancer''. And then? Well then, my boy, you can finally be who you were always ''meant'' to be: Pure. Clean. Like marble.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy and Hughie are watching TV when a commercial for baby carriers comes on]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Do men really walk around like that?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. I mean, dads do.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay, well... Bill Cosby is America's dad, and I'll tell you one thing: He wouldn't be caught dead in that pussy gear.
:'''Hughie''': Lot to unpack there. Uh...
:'''Soldier Boy''': The Cos... That's a real man. Holy shit, did he make some strong drinks.
:'''Hughie''': ''[whispering quickly]'' Holy fucking shit.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But seriously, what passes as a man today? Christ on a cross. I read that we were ass-up in Afghanistan. The fuck is up with that? Those were the good guys. I mean, when I left, it was… 
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, you know–
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean, goddammit. We–We were ten and one, you know? I lead the 116th onto [[w:Omaha Beach|Omaha Beach]]. I was in the fuckin' [[w:Kehlsteinhaus|Eagle's Nest]]! I fought for this country! I fought for this country, and what did I get for it? Forgotten. Left to rot by my own team. ''[beat; chuckles]'' You know, I wanted some rugrats of my own with Countess. Yeah, ain't that a bitch. You know, a couple little boys. Raise them up to be men. Now… Now I got nothing.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Neuman''': Hey, so… where's Hughie?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Oh, he's just camping with his dad for a couple days.
:'''Neuman''': ''[laughs]'' Okay. Okay, good. Great. I thought he was avoiding me or something, you know… 'cause he was scared I was gonna pop his head.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[beat; swallows hard]'' Hmm?
:'''Neuman''': Come on, Annie. ''[sees Annie's eyes glowing]'' Put them away. I'm not gonna hurt you or Hughie or your families. ''[Annie blinks and her eyes return to normal]'' Besides, you'd lose.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Then, why are you here?
:'''Neuman''': Because I wanna help you.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Huh. &quot;Help&quot;. From the psycho who blew up Congress.
:'''Neuman''': Look, most of those guys passed around deepfakes of me on the House floor blowing bin Laden, so I'm not exactly overwhelmed with sympathy. Annie, you need me. You're all alone. I mean, come on. That &quot;#Homelight&quot; shit? That looks like you're in a hostage video. Blink twice if I'm wrong. And what, you gotta play nice with the guy that throat-fucked you on your first day of work? And Maeve? They say Maeve is in rehab, but you and I both know she's probably dead. I'm all you got. Come on, Annie. You and I were friends. None of that has changed for me.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Are you ever gonna get to the point?
:'''Neuman''': You have 193 million Instagram followers. Lend me your influence, and I'll lend you mine. I can protect you from Homelander. You'll finally be team captain for real. And in return, you help me goose my numbers. I can finally get my education reform bill passed. We can make things better, Annie. For my daughter. For a lot of daughters. Come on, what do you say?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[pause]'' You're right. This whole place… I'm so fucking tired… of listening to people tell me I need to be shitty in order to win. Fuck you. And fuck Homelander, and fuck Vought and this &quot;whatever it takes&quot; crap. You're just gonna end up sitting on top of the steaming pile of shit that you built. I'm done. I'm fucking done. I'm not doing it anymore.
:'''Neuman''': You're not gonna be doing anything if Homelander kills you.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Yeah, maybe. But then I'll know I'm not working with a fucking nutjob. So, either pop my head or get the hell out.
:'''Neuman''': ''[beat; gets up]'' Hey, keep this between us. It'd be really tough to take out America's sweetheart, but not impossible.
:''[Annie realizes her nose is bleeding once Neuman leaves]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': Oh, okay. So, this–this is an actual orgy. That's what this is.
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' Herogasm. Still a thing, eh?
:'''Soldier Boy''': It's my thing. I founded it in '52. Me and this other Supe, Liberty. Man, was she a firecracker.
:'''Butcher''': Frenchie's gonna be real heartbroken he missed this.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie and A-Train bump into each other at Herogasm]''
:'''A-Train''': Sorry… ''[sees Hughie]'' Oh. Hey, I know you like fucking Supes, but I'm off the table.
:'''Hughie''': That's not why I'm here, okay? You're here too, you know.
:'''A-Train''': Whatever, Pornhub. I don't have time for you right now. ''[turns to walk away]''
:'''Hughie''': ''[pause]'' Hey. You never said you were sorry.
:'''A-Train''': What?
:'''Hughie''': For Robin. You never apologized for Robin.
:'''A-Train''': Jesus. You wanna do this right now?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, I do. ''[pause; A-Train says nothing]'' You just get away with everything, don't you? Just running past all the people you leave behind.
:'''A-Train''': Alright, you know what?
:'''Hughie''': What?
:'''A-Train''': ''[beat]'' I'm sorry. Is that what you wanna hear? 'Cause I am, okay? It's fucked up seeing somebody that you love get hurt like that. ''[pause]'' I'm sorry. I'm fucking sorry, Hughie.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Homelander''': William Butcher and Soldier Boy. Of course. You ''are'' behind this. This whole thing… it really is all about me. William, we made a deal to fight to the death. You and me. This is cheating. Deal's off.
:''[Homelander knocks Butcher out with his laser eyes]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[to Soldier Boy]'' You were my hero growing up. I watched all your movies hundreds of times. You were the only one that was nearly as strong as me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Buddy, you think you look strong? You're wearing a cape. You're just a cheap fuckin' knockoff.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no, no, no... '''''I'm the upgrade.''''' 

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Annie and M.M. take in the aftermath of the massacre at Herogasm. She turns on the camera on her cell phone and offers it to M.M.]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': This is a bad idea.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Homelander helped make me America's sweetheart. He's gonna regret that.
:''[M.M. takes Annie's cell phone while she takes a few steps back]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': You ready?
:''[Annie nods. M.M. presses a button on Annie's phone to start recording an Instagram livestream]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I'm in [[w:Montpelier, Vermont|Montpelier, Vermont]]. Twelve heroes and civilians are dead. A lot more are wounded. Now, Homelander and Vought are going to tell you that it was the supervillain, and that they have it handled. They don't. It was Soldier Boy. I know I sound insane, but Soldier Boy doesn't care about protecting Americans and he probably never has. Most heroes don't care about you. They only care about their image. And Homelander is the worst of them. He's hurt people. He's done something to Maeve. ''[beat]'' I don't know what they're gonna do to me for telling the truth… but I'm going to keep doing it, and I should have done it sooner, and I'm sorry. And one more thing: I'm not Starlight anymore. My name is Annie January… and I fucking quit.

===''&quot;Here Comes a Candle to Light You to Bed&quot;'' [3.07]===
:''[Homelander visits a prisoner, revealed to be Queen Maeve, inside a Vought holding cell]''
:'''Homelander''': Hey, how you doing? Look, I–I'm sorry about all this. I wish I could say you get used to it, but you never do. So… where are they hiding? ''[beat; Maeve doesn't say anything]'' Butcher and Soldier Boy. Where are they?
:'''Queen Maeve''': Wait, is… ''[gets up and walks up to Homelander]'' is that concealer? Do you have a bruise?
:'''Homelander''': Yeah. Do you have any idea what you've set loose? Butcher has powers. I assume thanks to you. They've killed Crimson Countess and seven other heroes, Maeve. Seven. The ones that–that survived are done; they're powerless. Soldier Boy fried the V right out of their blood somehow. Maeve, do you understand that could happen to any one of us?
:'''Queen Maeve''': Yeah. That's the difference between you and me. You need to be a Supe. I can't wait till that's over.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Maeve–
:'''Queen Maeve''': Why are you letting me live?
:'''Homelander''': Maeve… You know, back when things were better between us… ''[sighs]'' I used to dream of having kids with you. ''[chuckles]'' No, I did. A family. Nesting, you know? I–I mean, can you imagine how perfect our kids would be? Sublime. Twice as strong as Ryan. No kid of mine would ever know a room like this, I'll tell you that.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Just so you know, I'll fucking shatter whatever you try to stick up there.
:'''Homelander''': Maeve, don't be so crass! We're not savages. I respect what you are, even if you don't. I would never force myself on you. ''[pause]'' But I am gonna harvest your eggs. That way, if... God forbid, you do die–whether by accident or choice–you'll die knowing that the very best of you carries on. With me. See, Maeve, I'm not letting you live. I'm keeping you alive.
:'''Queen Maeve''': ''[smiles and snickers]'' This is still a top-three day in my life. Because today is the day I saw you scared.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Butcher has been put into deep sleep by Mindstorm and Hughie tries to rouse him. Soldier Boy, who is very stoned, looks for Mindstorm.]''
:'''Hughie''': Butcher, wake up! Wake up!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Fucking freak slipped away. He's gonna pick us off…
:'''Hughie''': Butcher, wake up.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ... one by one.
:'''Hughie''': Come on, wake up, Butcher. Butcher! Wake up!
:'''Soldier Boy''': No, you're wasting your time. He's gone.
:'''Hughie''': What did Mindstorm do?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, if it's his usual MO, trapped him in an endless nightmare until he dies of terminal dehydration.
:'''Hughie''': No, there's gotta be a way we can wake him up.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Mindstorm put him into this. He can snap him out.
:'''Hughie''': Okay, great. Great.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But he's about to be dead.
:'''Hughie''': Wait. Wait, just hang on. If we–If we grab Mindstorm, we make him help Butcher…
:'''Soldier Boy''': No way.
:'''Hughie''': …and then–and then you can kill him. Then, you can go to town on him, man! I don't give a fuck!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hey! If you're gonna act hysterical, I'm gonna slap you like I'm [[w:Sean Connery|Connery]]. Now, unless you wanna end up like your friend there, it ain't worth the risk. Look, chin up, okay? Deal's a deal. You help me finish this, I'll kill Homelander. Butcher would've given up his life for that in a heartbeat. ''[pause; Hughie looks down at Butcher]'' So, we doing this or not?
:''[Hughie walks back to pick up his backpack]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Leave it. We gotta move fast. ''[pause]'' Ah… Do you hear that?
:'''Hughie''': Uh... You might wanna lay off the weed, huh?
:'''Soldier Boy''': And you might wanna gargle [[w:scrotum|my ballsack]].
:''[...]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Still can't believe this shit is legal. I locked up so many assholes for it back in the day. ''[beat]'' What the fuck did you say?
:'''Hughie''': Literally nothing.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Jesus. How hard?
:'''Hughie''': What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': How hard did Butcher suck your dick that you miss him that much? His mouth must feel like a Hoover Deluxe.
:'''Hughie''': God, every single thing you say is so gross. He saved me, okay? More than once. So I owe him.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, bullshit. You're on a mission. You get the job done, okay? I stormed Normandy. I fought the Nazis. You wanna know what I do when I'm sad or scared? Fucking nothing. 'Cause I'm not a fucking pussy.
:'''Hughie''': ''[pause; chuckles]'' You didn't storm shit. Your whole [[w:Marlboro Man|Marlboro Man]] act? It's fucking crap, and I–
:''[Soldier Boy punches Hughie hard in the jaw]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': I warned you.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie and Soldier Boy come across a priest and a nun stranded on the road when they make it out of the woods]''
:'''Priest''': Son, are–are you a superhero?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yes, Father. You folks need some help?
:'''Nun''': Yes. Yes, please.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay, well, it's not safe. There's a fugitive in the area. You should get out of here before you get hurt.
:'''Priest''': Uh, well, we can't. I don't suppose either of you know engines?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'll have a look.
:'''Priest''': Oh, I'd appreciate that very much.
:'''Hughie''': Uh, so, where you guys headed?
:'''Priest''': We're just on our way to a Samaritan's Embrace retreat over there in Danville.
:''[Soldier Boy shoots the priest in the head, killing him instantly. The nun screams in horror.]''
:'''Hughie''': Oh! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! What the fuck?!
:'''Soldier Boy''': This is Mindstorm's MO; he brainwashed them. That priest was gonna shank us, and she will, too.
:''[Hughie gets in front of Soldier Boy when he aims his gun at the nun]''
:'''Hughie''': Whoa, whoa, whoa!
:'''Nun''': ''[kneels down over the priest's dead body]'' Father Wallace, no!
:'''Hughie''': Hey! Hey, she doesn't look brainwashed to me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Take my word for it. Everyone's coming for us. Everyone, every day.
:'''Hughie''': Whoa! No, no, no! You have PTSD! You have PTSD, and you are super fucking stoned, alright?! Maybe this isn't what you think it is!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Move! Move!
:'''Hughie''': She's a human being! A nun! And if there's one thing I know–
:'''Nun''': ''[tackles Hughie from behind and bites him]'' DIE, YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKERS!
:'''Hughie''': Oh, my God! Do something!
:'''Soldier Boy''': If you stay still, I…
:'''Hughie''': Fuck you! Get her off me!
:''[Soldier Boy shoots the nun in the head. Hughie pants as she falls to the ground.]''
:'''Hughie''': OH! FUCK! ME! '''NO!''' Hard pass on this [[w:The Exorcist|''Exorcist'']] shit!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks down at the dead nun and priest]'' What's black and white and red all over? ''[pause]'' Okay, first off, I don't have shellshock. Fuck you. Second, this is what I'm talking about. ''This'' is being a soldier!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Annie is waiting for an elevator at Vought Tower after stealing several Compound V samples. Homelander sees her standing by the elevators.]''
:'''Homelander''': Here she is. Did you think I wouldn't know the second you walked through the door?
:'''Annie''': Well, we broke up. It was time to pack my shit and go.
:'''Homelander''': ''[chuckles and smiles]'' Okay. So, here's what happens now. You're gonna march into VNN Studios, and you're gonna recant everything you said. It was a tragic cocktail of heartbreak, Zoloft and despair. You regret any harm that your lies have caused Vought or me, but… me in particular.
:'''Annie''': Mmm.
:'''Homelander''': Good.
:'''Annie''': Okay, but you wanna hear my counter? I stop Soldier Boy before he murders more people, and I find Maeve. If she's still alive.
:'''Homelander''': Maeve's just learning her manners. And you should do the same. Seriously, before you throw away everything you've worked so hard for.
:'''Annie''': You know what? I could give a shit.
:'''Homelander''': Really? You sure about that? Your fame is the only thing protecting you.
:'''Annie''': Here's the thing: I'm not scared of you anymore. I'm not. I see who you are. I see how small you are. I saw it. ''[pause]'' I saw it the night that you killed Supersonic.
:'''Homelander''': You know what I remember from that night? I remember I told you what would happen to Hughie. You walk, that's next.
:'''Annie''': …Good luck with that.
:''[Annie pulls out her cell phone, which is recording a livestream for her Instagram followers]''
:'''Annie''': Now that you've told my 190 million followers. I'm still pretty famous. 
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughing]'' Hey, everybody!
:'''Annie''': ''[hears elevator doors open]'' Oh, that's me. I gotta go.
:''[Annie walks backwards into the elevator while still recording Homelander]''
:'''Homelander''': Starlight, wait. You're not supposed to record us when we're running lines! 
:''[Homelander's cheery demeanor quickly changes to one of sheer anger and he glares at Annie as the elevator doors close]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Annie''': I need to talk to Hughie. Where is he?
:'''Butcher''': Oh, Starlight. How delightful. He's just popped out for a bit.
:'''Annie''': Okay, well, he's not answering his phone.
:'''Butcher''': Bit hard to keep a phone when you're teleportin' all day, innit, love? How can I help?
:'''Annie''': Temp V is gonna kill you both.
:'''Butcher''': Well, it's gonna have to join the queue.
:'''Annie''': I was just in the lab. It causes lesions, okay? It turns your brain into fucking Swiss cheese! So ''please'' be honest with me, and tell me how many doses have you taken?
:'''Butcher''': Just a couple.
:'''Annie''': Jesus Christ. Butcher, three to five doses ''kills you''. You need to tell Hughie.
:'''Butcher''': Yeah. Yeah, I will. I will. I promise.
:'''Annie''': Okay, but I'm calling back every five minutes until… ''[Butcher hangs up on her]'' Butcher? Goddammit.
:''[Hughie comes back with food for himself and Butcher]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, hi. Only thing open was Long John Silver's, so... I guess that's kind of fish and chips, right?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah. Nice one.
:'''Hughie''': Everything alright?
:'''Butcher''': It's, uh… It's the Temp V.
:'''Hughie''': What about it?
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' We gotta swing by the office and get some more. ''[pause]'' And then you, me, and Granny Fucker are gonna finish this fuckin' job. 
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. ''[chuckles]'' Fuck, yeah.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Homelander''': ''[to Ashley on the phone]'' Obviously, I didn't realize the little bitch was recording me, did I? ''[pause]'' No, no! Ashley, I don't fucking care! You're the spin doctor, go fucking spin it! ''[hears phone line beeping; to operator]'' What?!
:'''Operator''': Sir, I apologize for disturbing you… but you have a call. He says he's... Well, he's claiming to be Soldier Boy.
:'''Homelander''': ''[stammers]'' Put him through.
:''[Homelander presses a button to accept the other call]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[to Soldier Boy]'' This really you?
:'''Soldier Boy''': The situation's changed. I thought we should have a conversation.
:'''Homelander''': I don't know who the fuck you think you are, but you got lucky once because you fucking ambushed me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Fall 1980, I get called into Vogelbaum's lab for an experiment. Some shit about genetics. I still remember the Penthouse I used: June. Danielle Deneux, bush like a Pomeranian.
:'''Homelander''': What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I beat my meat into a cup. Turns out… Vogelbaum made a kid. Born in spring 1981: A boy. You know what the bitch of it is? If they'd have just kept me around, I'd have let you take the spotlight. What father wouldn't want that for his son?

===''&quot;The Instant White-Hot Wild&quot;'' [3.08]===
:'''Homelander''': Listen, Ryan. Your mom, she wanted what's best for you. And so do I. You have a real family.
:'''Ryan''': But aren't you mad at me? For what I did?
:'''Homelander''': You know it wasn't your fault, right? Son, when you're as strong as we are, accidents happen, things break... and sometimes they are the things that you love the most. But- but that's all it is: An accident. And nobody on this earth knows that better than me. Nobody. That's why I'm always gonna love you. No matter what happens, no matter... what you do. I'm not going anywhere. I will always be here.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie has Annie pick him up at the gas station where Butcher abandoned him]''
:'''Hughie''': Thanks for picking me up. I'm sure you wanna tell me to go fuck myself.
:'''Annie''': I'm not saying anything.
:'''Hughie''': 'Cause if you did wanna say that, I mean, you could. ''[sighs]''
:'''Annie''': What happened?
:'''Hughie''': Uh... Butcher. Just out of nowhere, knocked me out.
:'''Annie''': Did he tell you?
:'''Hughie''': Tell me what?
:'''Annie''': That Temp V is fatal. If you shot up any more, you'd probably be dead right now. ''[Hughie stares at her]'' Oh, my fucking God, he didn't tell you! That asshole!
:'''Hughie''': Saved my life.
:'''Annie''': Saved your life? It looks like he gave you a concussion.
:'''Hughie''': He stopped me from taking more V. ''[pause]'' Have you ever had [[w:Pizza rolls|pizza rolls]]?
:'''Annie''': Like... middle school sleepover pizza rolls?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. Dad bought them in bulk after Mom left. Every night, we'd have pizza rolls, watch ''Remington Steele'', try not to touch her spot on the couch. And he never fought back for her or anything. Just sat there eating pizza rolls. I spent so much time thinking he was… sad and–and weak. Just a loser. But you know what? Dad… was there. Taking care of me during the worst days of his life, just trying to keep the lights on and a... and a roof above our heads. He wasn't weak. I just, I–I didn't know what strength was. Annie, I'm–I'm so sorry. I've been an asshole. I never should have… I–I never should've put any of this onto you.
:'''Annie''': Thank you for saying that.
:'''Hughie''': Literally every neuron in your brain is screaming &quot;I told you so&quot;, so why don't you just say it before your head explodes?
:'''Annie''': Oh, my God! I fucking told you so!
:'''Hughie''': Feel good to get that out?
:'''Annie''': So satisfying.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sniffs whiskey]'' Whoa. That brings me back. Used to sneak my dad's Manhattans when I was a kid.
:'''Butcher''': I didn't have to nick nothin' from my old man. He used to get me and me little brother lagered just for the hell of it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, I gotta admit, that does sound funny. The old man still around?
:'''Butcher''': Arse cancer. ''[pause; sees Mallory calling him and shuts his phone off]'' Shittin' his guts out as we speak, one hopes.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You ever see ''The Soldier Boy Story?''
:'''Butcher''': Must've missed it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': It's a classic. We lost [[w:Academy Award for Best Picture|Best Picture]] to [[w:An American in Paris|''An American in Paris'']] that year. At least I got to assfuck Jane Wyman in the coat check. It's about a poor kid from the streets of South Philly, discovers he's got incredible powers to match his heart of gold. It was all bullshit.
:'''Butcher''': ''[sarcastically]'' Blimey, you don't say.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Actually, my father owned half the steel mills in the state. I went to boarding school. Got kicked out of boarding school because I was a fuck-up… but he made sure I knew it.
:'''Butcher''': Used the belt, did he?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Never laid a hand on me. He couldn't be bothered. He said I was a disappointment. Not good enough to carry his name. So I went to his golf buddies in the War Department, and they got me into Dr. Vought's Compound V trials. I became a superhero. Strongest man alive, fuckin' ticker-tape parades when I came home.
:'''Butcher''': And what did the old man say then?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Ah… he said I took a shortcut. ''[pause]'' That a real man wouldn't have cheated. ''[beat; clears throat]'' How 'bout you? You got kids?
:'''Butcher''': It's complicated.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I always assumed I had a few out there… somewhere. I always wanted 'em, 'cause I thought I could do it better than my father did.
:'''Butcher''': Homelander ain't yours. Not really.
:'''Soldier Boy''': He's the only blood I've got left.
:'''Butcher''': It don't matter. You didn't name him, didn't raise him. Vought grew him in a fuckin' test tube to take your place. He's the fuckin' reason they left you to rot with the Ivans. Look, mate... we had a deal.
:''[Soldier Boy finishes his glass of whiskey, stands up, and walks out]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'm gonna get some air.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[The Deep plays a voice recording of Annie calling Vought security for Ashley, A-Train and Homelander]''
:'''Annie''': ''[over the recording]'' I'm Starlight, and I'm telling you that you need to evacuate the Tower ''now''.
:'''Vought Guard''': ''[over the recording]'' Why?
:'''Annie''': ''[over the recording]'' Because Soldier Boy is alive, and he–
:'''The Deep''': We ran it through the voice thingamabob. It's really her, so… you know, I think we should probably evacuate.
:'''Homelander''': Nobody's evacuating anything. We have to project strength.
:'''The Deep''': Right. No, that's smart. Strength. Okay, so my Angel Fish–that's what I call Analytics–we think Soldier Boy's coming for Noir. Last member of Payback, right? So we should use Noir as bait. And that way it draws Soldier Boy directly to the…
:''[Homelander lays Black Noir's face mask on the table]''
:'''The Deep''': ...Hey, is everything–Is everything okay with Noir?
:'''Homelander''': He was keeping secrets from me. You know, when the company first rolled me out in front of the cameras, they told me I was gonna get my very own team. I wanted so badly for that team to be the family that I never got. And then, I got ''you''.
:'''The Deep''': I've–I've always tried to help, sir.
:'''Homelander''': What, like when you ran away from Herogasm? Or maybe when you fucked an octopus? ''[pause; A-Train looks at The Deep with disgust]'' You really wanna help?
:''[Homelander motions for The Deep to come closer to him. He whispers something in The Deep's ear.]''
:'''The Deep''': Sir… ''[chuckles]'' That's sort of treason.
:'''Homelander''': Big word.
:'''The Deep''': Anything you need, Homelander. Sir.
:'''Homelander''': Ashley, take off that wig.
:'''Ashley''': What wig?
:''[Homelander just glares at her. Ashley reluctantly reaches above her head, and takes off her red-headed wig, revealing that she is mostly bald from pulling her hair out. A-Train and The Deep look shocked.]''
:'''Homelander''': Hmmm. ''[to A-Train]'' And then, there's you. How could you kill one of your own kind in cold blood? You are gonna tell the world that we are the one and only true justice. Noir was worth more than ''all of you'' put together. You're not my family. I don't need any of you. Remember that. 

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander is inside a Vought lab watching an archival video of Soldier Boy when Butcher appears behind him]''
:'''Homelander''': Scorched earth, eh, William?
:'''Butcher''': Scorched earth.
:''[Butcher walks into the Vought lab. Soldier Boy and Queen Maeve follow him inside.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Where's Noir?
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' He's dead. I killed him.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Why?
:'''Homelander''': Because he didn't tell me about you. I'm alone. I just wanna talk. I know what it's like to have your team betray you. But with you and I together… they wouldn't stand a chance. Nobody would.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Unless we kill each other first.
:'''Homelander''': That's true, but why? What, because he says so? ''[chuckling]'' He's nothing. He's a human.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Soldier Boy]'' Don't you listen to this fuckin' twat. He ain't your kid.
:'''Homelander''': YES, I AM! I '''AM''' YOUR SON! I am your blood. That's all that matters.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe.
:''[Homelander opens a door and brings Ryan out]''
:'''Butcher''': Ryan…
:'''Homelander''': ''[to Soldier Boy]'' This is my son, Ryan. Your grandson.
:'''Ryan''': Hi, Grandpa.
:'''Homelander''': You see? You have a family. You have him… ''[tearfully]'' and you have me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' It's a shame that I've missed… so much. I wish I could've raised you and taught you, father to son.
:'''Homelander''': Me, too. That's okay. We're not alone anymore. We have each other.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe if I'd raised you, I could've made you better… and not some weak, sniveling pussy starved for attention. But there's no fixing that now.
:'''Homelander''': Weak? I'm you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I know. ''You're a fucking disappointment.''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck are you doing?
:'''Butcher''': Not the kid.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, I thought you said blood didn't matter. I thought that was the whole fuckin' point!
:'''Butcher''': He's my wife's son.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Wait, Homelander fucked your wife? And you wanna save the brat? The hell's wrong with you?
:'''Butcher''': I made a promise.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So this is it. Everything you wanted–He's right fuckin' there, and now you blink?
:'''Butcher''': Stand down.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Fuck you! You're weaker than he is.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Annie''': Hello? It's me. Are you there?
:''[Queen Maeve walks out Annie's bedroom with an arm cast, wearing gauze over her right eye while her other eye is black and blue]''
:'''Annie''': Oh, God. Well, you, uh… You look like shit.
:'''Queen Maeve''': ''[grins]'' Fuck off, [[w:The Smurfs|Smurfette]].
:'''Annie''': ''[chuckles]'' You gonna be okay?
:'''Queen Maeve''': Yeah, slowly. Painfully, like every other powerless schmuck in America, thanks to Soldier Boy. Question: Should I get a pirate patch or the Sammy Davis glass eye?
:'''Annie''': Oh, the pirate patch. No question.
:''[Maeve's girlfriend, Elena, comes out to join her]''
:'''Elena''': ''[to Maeve]'' You ready? ''[to Annie]'' Hey.
:'''Annie''': Hey, Elena. Where will you guys go?
:'''Queen Maeve''': I don't know, somewhere Homelander won't find me.
:'''Elena''': A farm, ideally. She's from [[w:Modesto, California|Modesto]]. She was a Future Farmer of America.
:'''Queen Maeve''': ''[smirks]'' Great.
:'''Annie''': ''[to Maeve]'' Thank you. For everything.
:'''Queen Maeve''': First time your prissy ass showed up at the Tower, crying in that bathroom… You saved me. Truth is, you... you don't need me anymore. I could jump… but you can fucking fly. ''[beat; chuckles when Annie hugs her]'' You're like [[w:Hallmark Cards|a walking Hallmark card]]. Enough.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie sees Annie holding her old Starlight uniform]''
:'''Hughie''': You sure you wanna do this?
:''[Annie thinks for a moment, then shoves the uniform into a trash chute]''
:'''Annie''': I don't need it. ''[shakes her head]'' I don't. The suit never gave me any power. And Vought sure as shit didn't. ''[Hughie gives Annie her old boots to throw away]'' It's always just been me.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[pause; clears his throat]'' Uh, Annie?
:'''Annie''': Mm-hmm?
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, we're in a historic building. You need to double-knot...
:'''Annie''': Okay.
:'''Mother's Milk''': … and bag your trash if you're gonna be working here.
:'''Annie''': Butcher isn't gonna like it.
:'''Frenchie''': Butcher can suck my shit. From now on, this is a democracy, huh? I say you're one of The Boys.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Me, too.
:''[Kimiko and Hughie raise their hands in approval. Butcher suddenly appears and interrupts by sipping from a Vought cup. Hughie watches TV and notices something on the news while everyone stares coldly at Butcher.]''
:'''Hughie''': Oh, fuck. 
:'''Female Reporter''': ''[on TV]'' After the tragic drowning of presumptive VP candidate Lamar Bishop, we go live to the Singer campaign in Sioux Falls, where Dakota Bob just announced his new running mate.
:''[The news cuts to Victoria Neuman walking behind Singer]''
:'''Male Reporter''': ''[on TV]'' What would you like to say to the American people?
:'''Neuman''': ''[on TV]'' As the next Vice President, I will work hard to provide a safe and secure future for all citizens on both sides of the political divide.
:'''Singer''': ''[on TV]'' And that's why I am so proud to have her on my team.
:''[All of the Boys, except for Butcher, watch the cheering crowd in shock]''
:'''Butcher''': Well… That bitch has definitely gotta go.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Homelander''': ''[to a crowd of his fans]'' Hey, good to see ya! I love you guys. You ARE America. True patriots. Hey - do you wanna meet someone, someone very special to me? Yeah? All right, come on down here, buddy. ''[Ryan floats down]'' Alright, everyone. This little guy here... is my son, Ryan.
:''[The crowd cheers and claps, except for a Starlighter with a water bottle]''
:'''Water Bottle Guy''': FUCK YOU, FASCIST!
:''[He throws the bottle at Ryan, much to the crowd's shock and disgust. Homelander blows his head apart on the spot, leaving everyone in stunned silence for a moment.]''
:'''Todd''': Yeah... YEAH! YEAH!! ''[laughs]'' 
:''[The rest of the crowd joins him in cheering. Homelander looks genuinely surprised, but then grins and laughs.]''
:'''Homelander''': Alright!
==External links==
{{The Boys}}
[[Category:The Boys (TV series) seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>85v9y0a4s7ob4a5if6kcmwrskmmpas5</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943971</id>
      <parentid>3943866</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T15:02:52Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-16389-61</username>
        <id>3302453</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* &quot;The Instant White-Hot Wild&quot; [3.08] */</comment>
      <origin>3943971</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="101800" sha1="s2bi1e2vm2l45v72qx99puls4k7n5zd" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Season''' [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 1|1]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 2|2]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 3|3]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 4|4]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 5|5]]  [[The Boys (TV series)|Main]]
----
'''''[[w:The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]''''' is an American superhero television series developed by Eric Kripke for [[w:Amazon Prime Video|Amazon Prime Video]]. Based on the comic book of the same name by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson, it follows the eponymous team of vigilantes as they combat superpowered individuals who abuse their abilities.

===''&quot;Payback&quot;'' [3.01]===
:'''Frenchie''': ''[over the openly gay Termite crawling in his pants''] [[w:gerbilling|He's trying to get in my ass!]]

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Neuman''': Give me a bite.
:'''Hughie''': Whoa, whoa, whoa. You want the Valtrex before or after?
:'''Neuman''': You love that bagel so much you're gonna fake [[w:Herpes|herpes]]?
:'''Hughie''': I could have herpes. You don't think I could have herpes?
:'''Neuman''': ''[smirks]'' How'd surveillance go with Termite last night?
:'''Hughie''': You know, I haven't checked in with Butcher yet, but… I'm sure it went fine. ''[pause; Neuman gives him a look of uncertainty]'' Don't–No, don't give me that face.
:'''Neuman''': I'll bet you a crisp $100 bill something got fucked up.
:'''Hughie''': You don't know that.
:'''Neuman''': ''[holds her hand out]'' Okay, take the bet.
:'''Hughie''': …I'm–I'm not gonna take the bet, but uh… ''[Neuman takes the bagel from him]'' Wow, really?
:'''Neuman''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Hughie''': Okay, still, Butcher delivers every time.
:'''Neuman''': And I have to apologize for him every time. Look, Butcher's the guy you want in a shooting war. No question. But we're in peacetime. ''[eats the bagel]'' Oh, my God. So worth the herpes.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. So, uh, you gonna stay over again tonight?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Don't know. It depends. Um, you gonna bring [[w:List of toothpaste brands|Aquafresh]]?
:'''Hughie''': I would brush with [[w:Miconazole|Monistat]] if it meant I could have sex with you. Yes.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Robert Singer holds up a vial of green liquid that looks similar to the blue Compound V]''
:'''Robert Singer''': V24, huh?
:'''Stan Edgar''': Marketing is still testing the name, but it's the future, Bob. One dose of this temporary V gives a soldier 24 hours of powers. Give or take. And then, they return right back to normal.
:'''Singer''': How stable is it?
:'''Edgar''': Still ironing out the kinks.
:'''Singer''': And if it's temporary, that means the DoD has to keep buying doses. At how much a hit?
:'''Edgar''': Two million, roughly.
:'''Singer''': So over the course of a month-long operation, that's sixty million per soldier. Six hundred million per squad.
:'''Edgar''': Campaign going well, is it?
:'''Singer''': I appreciate your contribution to my super PAC.
:'''Edgar''': People do love a cowboy in the White House. I hear they're even calling you Dakota Bob. So how would it look if you pass up the opportunity to give our brave soldiers superpowers?
:'''Singer''': Supes in the Army are an unmitigated shitshow. What Black Noir did to that Hard Rock Café in Lagos should be brought up on war crimes.
:'''Edgar''': ''[closes the conference room doors]'' You're right.
:'''Singer''': I'm sorry?
:'''Edgar''': You are absolutely right. The problem, of course, was making the Super into heroes.
:'''Singer''': I don't follow.
:'''Edgar''': Making them figures to be worshiped. The fame, the movies, the depraved sex? It ruined them. Cone of silence–in five years, I hope to be out of the superhero business entirely.
:'''Singer''': Bullshit.
:'''Edgar''': This should be a serious company. A defense and pharmaceutical company. Not a daycare dealing with spoiled children and dead prostitutes. But the point is, you won't have to worry about any of that, because your soldiers will only be super temporarily. The product, finally perfected.
:'''Singer''': Stan, when you say Compound V...
:'''Stan Edgar''': V-''24''.
:'''Singer''': Do you know what the public hears? [[w:Gestapo|Gestapo]]. [[w:Swastika|Swastika]]. And that's your fault; you used a Nazi to sell it! Compound V is [[w:radioactive decay|radio-fucking-active]]. It's not gonna fly in Congress.
:'''Edgar''': I still have a few strings that I can pull in Congress...

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Supersonic''': ''[sitting at desk with Annie]'' Oh, my God. Come on.
:'''Hughie''': Hi. Hey, hi.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Hi!
:'''Supersonic''': Hughie, what's up, my man?
:'''Hughie''': How's it going, guys? What are you guys doing?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': We're running lines, actually.
:'''Hughie''': [[w:reality television|For a reality show]]?
:'''Supersonic''': Right? The reality behind the reality.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, um... oh, man, I was in the, uh, control room, and they had this, like, bio thing on you.
:'''Supersonic''': Oh, God, I'm sorry. Yeah, that boy band shit is so embarrassing.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': You know what, I really like &quot;Rock My Kiss.&quot;
:'''Supersonic''': Really?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I do.
:'''Supersonic''': Did you? I... I actually... Wait, I thought it made you puke. ''[both their faces turn into mutual recollection]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Shut up... Shut up!
:'''Supersonic''': It's true.
:'''Hughie''': What are you guys, what are you, what are you talking about?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Okay, be careful. I can still kick you off the show.
:'''Supersonic''': He has a right to know. Come on, we were, what, 19?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Eighteen.
:'''Supersonic''': Okay, so 18, the band was performing at the opening of Voughtland St. Louis. But before the show, Annie and I snuck into a cantina. And they had those... I mean, those yards of [[w:margarita|margarita]]...
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I must have drank a quarter mile.
:'''Supersonic''': So, middle of the show, we bring out Starlight to do a number. And Little Orphan Alky steps onto the stage, and she just pukes in front of a festival crowd. I mean, the tweens, they lost their shit. Humiliating.
:'''Hughie''': Wow, that's... I- I had no idea you drank back then.
:'''Supersonic''': Oh, yeah, Miss Goody Two-Shoes, she had a fun side, big time.
:'''Hughie''': ''[walking outside]'' And–And really great you guys are still... so close, just really, really great. You have nothing to worry about.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': No. No, no, no, totally. He's gross.
:'''Hughie''': And you've known him your whole life. And he, you know, took your virginity, so why would I worry?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Okay, it was a mutual taking of virginities. And you know what, it happened so long ago, and only a couple of times.
:'''Hughie''': Wait, really?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': [[w:monogamy|We were really religious and we weren't married, so it felt weird having sex]]. I mean sex sex. [''Walks into trailer''] [[w:Anal sex|We did a ton of butt stuff]]. [''Hugh stands shocked then she pokes her head in door''] I'm fucking with you.
:'''Hughie''': ''[laughs]'' Okay. 
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Come on. 
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, never do that again. [''Sitting in trailer''] Wow, uh... Co-captain, huh? Wow, that's, uh... 
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Is it crazy? I mean, Vought's the worst thing that's ever happened to us, and now you want to be their [[w:Ronald McDonald|Ronald McDonald]]? So, yeah, a little crazy. Yeah, but first female co-captain of any super team. Ever. I mean... think about what that would mean to millions of girls. 
:'''Hughie''': I'm sorry, I- I'm just... surprised, I guess. I mean, is this your mom talking or you?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[sighs]'' I'm the one whose feet bled at all of those pageants. Okay? I've paid a lot. And, finally, finally, I could have some real power that I could use, and I could make trouble at Vought. Do some real good. 
:'''Hughie''': Or Homelander can murder you. 
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Someone needs to stand up to this guy.
:'''Hughie''': And that has to be you?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Not just me. I mean, I could bring good people into The Seven who could help me.
:'''Hughie''': What, you mean like your boyfriend?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[pause; stands up]'' It's not a good look, Hughie. No one even bats an eye when a man climbs the ladder.
:'''Hughie''': ''[stands up with a raised hand palm out and walks to her]'' Okay, you're right, you're right, you're right. Look, I'm-I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So I'll... see you later tonight? 
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Don't bother with [[w:Aquafresh|the Aquafresh]]. ''[walks away]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Excuse me, Starlight. I need the room. I got a meeting with Stan.
:'''Edgar''': Actually, I invited you both. Have a seat.
:'''Homelander''': Great.
:''[Homelander gets upset when Edgar takes his seat at the head of the table. He begrudgingly sits down in the chair next to him.]''
:'''Edgar''': I remember when you first arrived, Starlight. A farm girl from Kansas. Bright-eyed like Dorothy in Oz.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Iowa. And not a farm.
:'''Edgar''': Oh, well, look how far you've come. Polling at 96, a new Vought record. I don't have to tell you that our brand has been a bit tarnished since that ''[looks at Homelander]'' nasty business last year. But you have restored a wholesome, trustworthy image to the company when we needed it the most. Which is why the board wants to make you co-captain of The Seven.
:'''Homelander''': What?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Co… Co-captain? ''[stammers]'' But–But... ''[chuckles]'' Homelander is captain. ''[to Homelander]'' I mean, you're–you're captain.
:'''Edgar''': This will be beneficial to you both. ''[to Homelander]'' Your numbers are down… What, double digits? The public still associates you with Stormfront. This would be a real bump. A rising tide lifts all boats.
:'''Homelander''': That's very thoughtful of you, Stan. Um… When does the board vote?
:'''Edgar''': They already did this morning. All that's left is for Starlight to say yes.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': No. I mean–I mean, I'm flattered. Thank you, but no thank you. If anybody, it should be Maeve.
:'''Edgar''': Maeve doesn't have a 96.
:'''Homelander''': Nobody does. Except you, apparently.
:'''Edgar''': Homelander, could you give us a moment?
:'''Homelander''': Look, I'd really like to keep discussing this.
:'''Edgar''': Absolutely. Set a time with Samantha, and we'll get you in.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause; laughs angrily]'' Great. No problem.
:'''Edgar''': Excellent.
:'''Homelander''': My schedule is pretty full, but I'll try and find you a window.
:''[Homelander walks out of the conference room. He turns around and stares coldly at Annie and Edgar as the doors shut on him]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Okay, sir, there is no way. I mean, you saw him.
:'''Edgar''': He can get as pissy as he wants. As long as I'm CEO of Vought, he's under control. And we both know why.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': You know that he can–he can probably hear you.
:'''Edgar''': Good. I hope he does. Starlight, real power… ''[mimics Annie shooting light with her hands]'' isn't this. It's the ability to bend the world to your will. You would decide what The Seven do, what causes they support. Full authority to fill the team's empty slots. ''[gets up and pushes the chair Homelander was sitting on next to his]'' I'm offering you ''real'' power. You should think about it.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''A-Train''': Hey, Homelander.
:'''Homelander''': What are you drinking?
:'''A-Train''': [[w:Shake Shack|Shake Shack]].
:'''Homelander''': Ooh.
:'''A-Train''': You want one? I’ll go grab a PA–
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. No. Thank you, though. ''[walks up to A-Train]'' I see you got the extra whipped cream in there, huh?
:'''A-Train''': Yeah.
:'''Homelander''': ''Yummers''. Guess you wanted to cram in as much fat ''fuck'' as possible, huh?
:'''A-Train''': ''[confused]'' Did I do something wrong?
:'''Homelander''': You think I haven’t seen you ''[pokes A-Train's stomach]'' shoving back two dozen cupcakes in the break room? Nine servings on [[w:risotto|Miro's truffle risotto]] night ''[pokes A-Train again]'' Hmm?
:'''A-Train''': Hey, man… You know I need 30,000 calories a day.
:'''Homelander''': Maybe when you actually ran you did. But now, you’re just eating your feelings, making us look ridiculous. ''[pause]'' “The Fastest Man Alive”, what a fuckin’ joke. ''[walks away]'' 
:'''A-Train''': ''[whispering under his breath]'' Fuck you, man.
:'''Homelander''': ''[stops walking]'' What did you say?
:'''A-Train''': Nothing. Nothing...? 
:''[Homelander quickly walks back to A-Train and grabs him by the back of his neck]''
:'''Homelander''': '''WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?!'''
:'''A-Train''': I’m sorry! Shit! I’m so sorry, I–I didn’t mean it! 
:'''Homelander''': Say it. ''[activates laser eyes; A-Train drops his shake]'' SAY IT!
:'''A-Train''': I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
:''[Homelander lets go of A-Train and walks away]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Queen Maeve is secretly working with Butcher to investigate a secret weapon that could kill Homelander]'' 
:'''Queen Maeve''': I heard Termite walked. My lead was good. What happened?
:'''Butcher''': Don't ask.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Well, we gotta talk. I think I have something.
:''[Maeve hands Butcher an archived memorandum file on Soldier Boy]'' 
:'''Butcher''': Soldier Boy. So what?
:'''Queen Maeve''': Remember how he died?
:'''Butcher''': Stoppin' a nuclear meltdown in Ohio. '83, '84 I think. Got buried beneath a reactor. Always thought it was bollocks.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Yeah, you thought right. Read.
:'''Butcher''': ''[looks at the file again]'' What's B.C.L. Red?
:'''Queen Maeve''': If you believe the rumors, it's the thing that killed Soldier Boy. Some kind of gun or weapon or something.
:'''Butcher''': Had to have been a fuckin' H-bomb. He was nearly as strong as… ''[pause; sees Maeve smiling]'' Ah.
:'''Queen Maeve''': If we can find this weapon–or whatever it is–maybe we can use it to blow Homelander's fucking brains out.
:'''Butcher''': If it is real, and not some fuckin' fable.
:''[Butcher flips through the files and finds a photograph of Soldier Boy standing in the center of a group of other Supes]''
:'''Butcher''': Payback. ''[scoffs]'' What a bunch of fuckin' wankers.
:'''Queen Maeve''': I'll say. When The Seven passed them as the number one super team, Crimson Countess sent me a box of cat shit. She was fucking Soldier Boy, and Gunpowder was his sidekick. If anyone knows what happened to him, they do.
:'''Butcher''': ''[looks at the photo again and sees Black Noir]'' Your mate Noir was in Payback. Why don't you ask him?
:'''Queen Maeve''': ''[chuckles]'' Even if that walking tumor could talk, it wouldn't be to me. Here.
:''[Butcher receives three vials of V24 from Maeve]''
:'''Butcher''': What's this?
:'''Queen Maeve''': It's Temp V. One shot makes you a Supe for 24 hours. I mean, they think. It's still in R&amp;D.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, great. So powers, maybe. Maybe my bollocks swell up like footballs, yeah?
:'''Queen Maeve''': Payback may be a bunch of fuckholes, but they're strong. And they're dangerous. If you're going against them, you're gonna need it.
:'''Butcher''': And what makes you think that me, of all people, would wanna turn into one of you?
:'''Queen Maeve''': This is our best chance to kill Homelander. Don't fuck it up.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Butcher hears somebody near his apartment just as he's about to pour out the V24. He hides the V24 vials in a bulldog-shaped cookie jar before going out to investigate. Butcher enters the living room and sees Homelander outside staring at him from his balcony]''
:'''Butcher''': ''[opens balcony door]'' If you wanna watch me have a wank, it'll cost you a tenner.
:'''Homelander''': May I come in?
:''[Cut to Butcher in his kitchen making tea with Homelander inside]''
:'''Homelander''': Where's Ryan?
:'''Butcher''': He's at 673 [[w:Teabagging|Nosh My Bollocks]] Ave. You want a pen and paper?
:'''Homelander''': You know, I could just... pull you apart, limb by limb. Make you tell me.
:'''Butcher''': Nah, that'd be worthless. Victim always goes into shock. You gotta start small. Fingers, toenails, ears...
:'''Homelander''': He's my son, William. My family. I'm gonna find him sooner or later.
:'''Butcher''': ''[pause]'' Look, uh... I don't mean to be rude, but can we just skip to the part where you laser my fuckin' brains out?
:'''Homelander''': Oh, for Christ's sakes. Where's the sport in that? I mean, look at you. It'd be like putting down a wounded dog.
:'''Butcher''': You're the one with your tail between your legs on all them fuckin' talk shows. And then, they go and make Starlight co-captain? That's gotta sting.
:'''Homelander''': ''[smiles]'' Touché, William. Touché.
:'''Butcher''': What're you doin' here?
:'''Homelander''': ''[disgusted]'' Vought. And the fucking Bureau. The wheeling and dealing, and–and giving and taking, just to keep everything... exactly the same. And you and me? Well, they treat us like old playthings and put us up on the fucking shelf. Treat us like we're obsolete. Doesn't that make you angry?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah. It does.
:'''Homelander''': What if... What if it doesn't have to be that way? What if you and I... Well, what if we share a different destiny? Something a little more... [[w:scorched earth|scorched earth]]. Shock and awe. Blood and bone. And in the end, only one of us left standing. ''[beat]'' Isn't that what you want?
:'''Butcher''': Too fuckin' right. More than anything.
:'''Homelander''': I look forward to it.
:''[Butcher glances at the cookie jar then at Homelander's seat, which is now vacant]''

===''&quot;The Only Man in the Sky&quot;'' [3.02]===
:''[Butcher tries to convince M.M. to rejoin the Boys. M.M.'s daughter, Janine, is also present.]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Okay, one, you don't just pop up here. You call first. And, two, eff Soldier Boy. I don't give a mothereffin' doo-doo how he checked out.
:'''Butcher''': Ah, bollocks. He didn't die like no hero. I'll wager he went out on his knees, beggin' like a right cunt.
:'''Mother's Milk''': What the f…?
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Janine]'' Sorry, love. ''[to M.M.]'' Look, if there's a weapon out there that killed Soldier Boy, then it can kill Homelander. And that's gotta be worth something. Now, we're workin' our way through his old team. Frenchie and Kimiko are startin' with the Crimson Countess, and I'm gonna hit up Gunpowder.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Sounds like you got everything covered.
:'''Butcher''': This ain't just anyone; it's Soldier Boy. You could close the book on him once and for all. For your dad. Your family.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Fuck off with that shit. ''[pause]'' My father died hunched over a desk, obsessing over a dead man while he was ignoring his two living children. And I almost did the same thing to her. ''[points at the door]'' Thanks for coming by.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat; looks at Janine]'' You're doin' a bang-up job with her, mate.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Annie refuses to sing a sexy rendition of &quot;Happy Birthday&quot; to Homelander for his televised birthday celebration]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': For the record, I know you don't care whether I sing or not. This is a juvenile attempt to get me to look like a sex doll instead of a co-captain. ''[Homelander chuckles]'' I'm not doing it.
:'''Homelander''': I have an idea: Why don't you lighten the fuck up? Come on, you're gonna sing the shit out of this song. Ready? Let's hit it.
:'''Edgar''': ''[chimes in over the PA]'' If Starlight doesn't want to sing, she doesn't sing.
:'''Homelander''': Stan, what a surprise!
:'''Edgar''': Our testing shows that 76 percent of likely viewers will make every effort to watch it tonight for Starlight. As for you, 53 percent might DVR. I think that that means that she can call her own shots, don't you?
:'''Homelander''': So how about I just walk, Stan? How would that rate?
:'''Edgar''': After the PR hole you dug for yourself this past year, I'd say you're lucky we're even putting on this farce at all. But hey, it's your party. You can cry if you want to.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Butcher''': ''[standing besides Gunpowder at the washroom urinal]'' 'Scuse me, Mr. Powder. I'm your number one fan. I've bought all your rifles. Every one of 'em. That Vought VR-15? Ooh…
:'''Gunpowder''': That is a hell of a gun. Smooth trigger pull.
:'''Butcher''': Smooth. I'd shake your hand, but uh… Well, you know.
:'''Gunpowder''': Well, I appreciate that.
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, I followed you since your Payback days. I mean, fourteen years old, picked to be Soldier Boy's sidekick. 
:'''Gunpowder''': He was a great man. Well, it's nice meeting you, buddy.
:'''Butcher''': You must've been chuffed, eh? Helpin' him on those missions, lettin' him watch you on the bog, stick his finger up your bum a bit, give him a sloppy little nosh. All in a day's work for a young ward, innit?
:'''Gunpowder''': Like I haven't heard that sidekick pedo shit a thousand times before. Why don't you do me a big favor, buddy, and fuck off!
:'''Butcher''': You're right. I'm sorry. That's a filthy unsubstantiated rumour.
:'''Gunpowder''': Goddamn right it is.
:'''Butcher''': ''[holds up paper]'' Till now. This is a complaint you filed to Vought, beggin' to be taken off Payback on account of, and I quote, &quot;Soldier Boy's habitual abuse&quot;. Of course, they buried it–Vought bein' the cunts they are.
:'''Gunpowder''': That right there is a fake.
:'''Butcher''': Course it is.
:'''Gunpowder''': I'm sorry, who are you?
:'''Butcher''': I told you. Biggest fan. And I wanna help ya. Keep shtum. It'd be a cryin' shame if your red-meat faithful out there found out you were Soldier Boy's underage nob-gobbler. Now, all I wanna know is what happened to him, and you're gonna tell me.
:'''Gunpowder''': Or maybe I put a bullet in your head.
:'''Butcher''': You do that, and it'll be all over the interweb within an hour. 
:'''Gunpowder''': See, buddy, I don't give a shit. 'Cause that never happened. Soldier Boy never touched me like that!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander arrives to save a woman named Chelsea from jumping off the edge of a building]''
:'''Homelander''': Hi, Chelsea. It's your lucky day. Well, considering you're my annual birthday save.
:'''Chelsea''': Don't come any closer.
:'''Homelander''': Life is a precious gift. To throw yours away would be a real slap in the Lord's face, don't you think? You don't wanna go to Hell for all eternity, do you?
:'''Chelsea''': I'm Jewish.
:'''Homelander''': Alright. Well, regardless, just step back from the ledge, please.
:''[Ashley is giving direction to the camera crew on the street below them]''
:'''Ashley''': Okay, that's good. Just don't be afraid of the zoom. You're not Roger Deakins. Mike, frame up. He could be flying down any second.
:'''Mike''': Yep. You got it.
:'''Ashley''': ''[checks an alert on her phone and looks up]'' Oh, fuck!
:'''Homelander''': Come on, look. I'm here now. If you jump, I'm just gonna fly down and save you anyway. It's all futile and...
:''[Homelander notices a breaking news story about Stormfront's suicide on a billboard]''
:'''Homelander''': She–She wouldn't… It's my... It's my birthday. She... ''[beat; to Chelsea]'' You probably don't know this–because, you know, Jew–but Jesus wasn't born on the 25th of December. [[w:Yule|That was piggybacked off a pagan festival]], and guess what? Today is not my birthday either. Nope. Don't know when it is, but sure as hell ain't today. This was just chosen for me by a marketing department. I mean, I can't even have a birthday at all. I wasn't born. I was just poured out of a fucking test tube. Immaculate conception. I know exactly how he must have felt. Jesus. You give and you give… ''[stutters]'' You give your whole ''fucking'' life, and what happens? People just tear you down. Why do people destroy their gods? How is it fair that you get saved while a beautiful, perfect god gets killed? ''[beat]'' You know what, Chelsea? ''[pause]'' I think you ''should'' jump.
:'''Chelsea''': I–I don't think I want to.
:'''Homelander''': You don't want to? Why don't you show a little follow-through, Chelsea? Jump.
:'''Chelsea''': Please, I... I just wanna get down.
:'''Homelander''': I'm not suggesting anymore. '''Jump.'''
:'''Chelsea''': No. No, please. Oh, God… Oh, God!
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no. No God. The only man in the sky ''is '''me'''''. ''[his eyes light up]''
:'''Ashley''': How the fuck did she bite off her own tongue? Stormfront [[w:Million Dollar Baby|Million Dollar Babied]] herself. It was horrible.
:''[Chelsea leaps from the building and lands on the ground in a sickening splat. Homelander looks down disheartened.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Neuman''': Who's Nadia?
:'''Hughie''': Nadia?
:'''Neuman''': Yeah, Scotty said some guy came in yesterday, asking for Nadia.
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. Yeah, no, there was–there was a guy, and he... he was looking at your picture, he said your name was Nadia. Said he knew you… from, like, way back when.
:'''Neuman''': You weren't gonna tell me?
:'''Hughie''': Uh, no. I mean, it was just some guy off his meds, seemed like. Yeah.
:'''Neuman''': I'm sorry. I–I mean, you're missing work, your hand. A lot going on. Is there something I should know?
:''[Annie suddenly shows up to cover for Hughie]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': He was with me. I'm sorry for stealing him away from you, but… we had some things that we needed to discuss. Very loudly, actually. We made quite the scene at Panera.
:'''Hughie''': Oh.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I mean, it's a miracle nobody recognized me.
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, sorry. I was–I was trying to preserve just a tiny, little shred of my dignity, but uh… we had a fight.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': We didn't leave things in the greatest place, so I thought I would come by and…
:'''Hughie''': Check up on me?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Well, I was worried about you.
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, well, you know I can handle some things by myself, right?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Okay, I'm just trying to help.
:'''Hughie''': I don't always need your help. I mean, you don't have to treat me like I'm a kid.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Here I was thinking that I was treating you like my boyfriend.
:'''Hughie''': Well, you–
:'''Neuman''': You know, this is actually none of my business, so I'm just–I'm gonna go. Good luck with all of that. Oh, and Hughie?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah?
:'''Neuman''': Cut her some slack. You shouldn't be afraid of a powerful woman.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': Butcher?
:'''Butcher''': You alright, mate?
:'''Hughie''': Hey, um… Frenchie told me about Crimson Countess. What the hell happened?
:'''Butcher''': We was chasin' down something, but… I–I'm gonna knock it on the head. You was right the other day. Things are good. Ryan's good. I should leave it well enough alone before I go and fuck it all up. [pause; Hughie is silent] You there?
:'''Hughie''': Neuman's a Supe.
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, what?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, she's pretty much Stan Edgar's daughter, too. Past year of my life has been a waste. I thought we could fight Vought the right way, but we can't. It's all rigged. If we're gonna take them down, we have to do whatever it takes. We have to do it your way.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[A-Train walks out on stage to present the next segment of Homelander's televised birthday special. He is wearing a completely new supersuit]''
:'''Ashley''': What the fuck is he wearing?!
:'''Announcer''': Yeah, alright. Let's hear it for Supersonic, everybody.
:'''Ashley''': Get me fucking wardrobe! Get me fucking wardrobe so I can fucking choke them out!
:'''A-Train''': Alright, so now, I would like to bring out our co-captains. So let's give it up for Starlight and the man of the hour himself, Homelander! Happy birthday, Homelander.
:'''Homelander''': Hey, thank you.
:'''A-Train''': Yeah.
:'''Homelander''': ''[muffled by the cheers while feigning his smile]'' I can see your girdle, you disgusting fat fuck! Get off the fucking stage!
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Wow, I'm so honored to be with you guys tonight to celebrate my dear friend and mentor, Homelander. I'm here to do more than wish you a happy birthday, though. I'm thrilled to be announcing a project that is near and dear to my heart. The Starlight House is a nonprofit foundation dedicated to helping homeless and at-risk youth.
:'''Audience Heckler''': Hey, Homelander! Your Nazi died!
:'''Ashley''': Did he just say his Nazi died?
:'''Security''': ''[to audience heckler, grabbing him by shoulders]'' Let's go.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Homelander… He's just–He's a human. He's just like the rest of us. And we all make mistakes, right? But we all deserve second chances. In that spirit, Homelander has agreed to donate $10 million to the Starlight House, which is–I mean…
:'''Homelander''': No!
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Give–Come on. Give it up!
:'''Homelander''': No!
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Give it up for this guy!
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no! Starlight lied to you just now. She did. I don't make mistakes! I'm not &quot;just like the rest of you&quot;! I'm stronger, I'm smarter, I… I'm better! I '''AM''' BETTER! I'm not some ''weak-kneed'' fucking crybaby that goes around fucking ''apologizing'' all the time! And why the ''fuck'' would you want me to be?!
:'''Ashley''': Quick, Roger! Stop rolling, go to fucking commercial! Go to fucking commercial!
:'''Homelander''': ''[pointing to an offscreen camera operator]'' Don't you DARE stop rolling, Roger! All my life, people have tried to control me my whole life. Rich people–powerful people–tried to muzzle me, cancel me, keep me impotent and obedient like I'm a fucking puppet! And you know what, it worked. Because I ''allowed'' it to work, and guess what? If they can control me, then you can ''bet your ass'' they can control you! They already do. You just don't realize it. ''[pause]'' I'm done. I am done apologizing, I am done being persecuted for my strength. You people should be ''thanking Christ'' that I am who and what I am, BECAUSE YOU NEED ME! '''YOU NEED ME TO SAVE YOU!''' You do. I am the ''only'' one who ''possibly'' can. You're not the real heroes. ''I'm the real hero.'' ''[beat]'' '''''I am the real hero.'''''

===''&quot;Barbary Coast&quot;'' [3.03]===
:''[Hughie is surprised to see M.M. setting up his desk in the Boys' Flatiron Building office]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The prodigal son returns.
:'''Hughie''': What the fuck? Hey, man. ''[laughs as M.M. hugs him]'' Yeah… Wait. Wait, are you… Are you back?
:'''Mother's Milk''': We'll see.
:'''Hughie''': Don't get me wrong. I'm happy, but are–are you sure?
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[sees the bloody bandage on Hughie's hand]'' What the fuck happened here, kid? You jacking off with razors again?
:'''Hughie''': You know, you should see the other guy. The other guy's my penis.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' I missed you, kid.
:'''Hughie''': I missed you, too, man. ''[pause; notices Butcher staring at him and sighs]'' Look, I know what you're gonna say, and I just–
:'''Butcher''': No. No, mate. I'm just chuffed to have all the Boys back under the same roof, alright?
:'''Hughie''': Really?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah. ''[to Frenchie and M.M.]'' I mean, there he was, right? In his fancy pants, lordin' it over us like the viceroy of Vought Square, eh? And that whole time, he weren't nothin' but a Supe's bootlick.
:'''Hughie''': Yeah.
:'''Butcher''': That, my son, is a Lifetime Achievement at the Cunt of the Year Awards, innit?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, it is. It is a Lifetime Achievement. ''[Butcher laughs]'' Are you done?
:'''Butcher''': No, mate. I am just gettin' started, believe you me.
:'''Hughie''': Great. Listen, we need to get Ryan somewhere safe. Vicky knows where she is because we fucking told her, which means Stan Edgar knows, too.
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, one step ahead. Colonel's already done a runner with the boy. They're well outta sight. In fact, we were gonna pay 'em a little visit.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We are?
:'''Frenchie''': Monsieur Charcutier, I cannot go. I have a matter of great importance.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, I'm sorry. I must've forgot to run it by your bleedin' secretary!
:'''Frenchie''': It's an emergency!
:'''Hughie''': I–I'll go instead.
:'''Butcher''': Nah, you skive off today, and that congresswoman might split your pretty little buns.
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, thought of that. Uh, Kimiko. ''[pause; Kimiko removes her headphones]'' Kimiko, hi. Can you please… break my arm? Vicky will smell it if I fake being sick, so it's gotta be real, and it's gotta last for days.
:'''Butcher''': ''[laughing]'' Fuckin' hell, Hughie!
:'''Frenchie''': At least take something for the pain. I got opium. ''[tosses prescription bottle to Hughie]''
:'''Hughie''': Government employees can't fail a piss test. ''[tosses prescription bottle back to Frenchie; to Kimiko]'' Let's just get this over with, okay? Just do it pretty fast.
:''[Kimiko takes Hughie's left arm and prepares to twist it]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hold on. Hold up, hold up. Have a seat, please. Only been here three minutes, and it's already The Bold and the Batshit. ''[puts garbage bag on Hughie's lap]'' Alright, go ahead.
:''[Kimiko places one hand on Hughie's shoulder and the other near his wrist]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Nah, nah, nah! ''[points at Hughie's forearm]'' Right here. Clean break, no permanent damage.
:'''Hughie''': ''[takes a deep breath]'' Yeah? ''[pause; Kimiko nods]'' One, two–
:''[Kimiko snaps Hughie's arm, making him scream in pain. Butcher calmly watches while drinking his tea.]''
:'''Hughie''': WHAT THE SHIT?!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mallory''': Neuman's head of the Bureau because I said so. I tried to save her from the attack on Congress that she fucking caused!
:'''Hughie''': Well, at least you didn't spend the last year getting her oatmilk lattes and every piece of intel she asked for.
:'''Mallory''': ''[to Butcher]'' I would very much like to know the plan to eliminate her.
:'''Butcher''': Well, that depends on what you can tell us about your little holiday down in Nicaragua.
:'''Mallory''': ''[pause]'' I've never been to Nicaragua.
:'''Butcher''': Really? 'Cause a little birdie told me you were Payback's case officer down there, on a classified job that Soldier Boy never come back from.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[pause; Mallory scoffs]'' Colonel?
:'''Mallory''': Whatever it is William thinks he may have heard… he's mistaken.
:'''Butcher''': Is he? You know that safe you got in your home office? The one behind the picture of [[w:George H. W. Bush|Bush number one]]? Well, I borrowed a ledger from it–the one with all your assets around the world. How long do you think them and their families will last when I put every one of their fuckin' names on Facebook?
:'''Mallory''': You'd sign the death warrants of dozens of innocent people who had nothing to do with this?
:'''Butcher''': I'm embarrassed for the both of us that you're askin'.
:'''Mallory''': ''[pause]'' Nicaragua's ancient history. Not to mention, I could be killed just for telling you.
:'''Butcher''': And all your agents will get killed if you don't. ''[pulls out chair and sits down]'' Blimey. What a pickle. 
:'''Mallory''': ''[beat]'' It was part of Operation Charly.
:'''Hughie''': Operation… Charly?
:'''Mallory''': Reagan's pet project, off the books. Helped the Contra rebels fight the Russian-backed [[w:Sandinista National Liberation Front|Sandinistas]], but we needed a way to pay for it. Some of the cash came from selling arms to Iran. Oliver North's epic fuck-up. But the rest? If there's one thing that the Contras had plenty of, it was cocaine. I was in charge of trafficking the coke into the U.S. and then using the profits to buy more weapons in the fight against the Reds. Whatever it took.
:'''Mother's Milk''': That's some self-justifying bullshit. Were you part of that other thing, too?
:'''Hughie''': What other thing?
:'''Mother's Milk''': She knows. ''[to Mallory]'' Tell him.
:'''Mallory''': The unwritten policy was to sell the cocaine strictly to minority neighborhoods–destabilize, demoralize–while staying out of white ones. Late in '84, we were gearing up for a major offensive. So the higher-ups, in their infinite wisdom, decided it was the perfect time to throw a wrench in the works: Fucking Payback. Each more ridiculous than the next: Crimson Countess, Mindstorm, Swatto, the TNT Twins, Noir, Gunpowder, and the most idiotic of them all…

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Butcher''': You came to me after Becca disappeared and promised me Homelander's head. And all this time, you knew there was something that could do the job, and you never said a fuckin' word!
:'''Mallory''': Whatever this weapon is, it probably won't work on Homelander.
:'''Butcher''': And what if it does?!
:'''Mallory''': Even worse. Because it wouldn't end with him. You'd go after another Supe, then another, then all of them.
:'''Butcher''': If you'd have told me about this sooner, Homelander might already be dead! Ryan wouldn't be runnin' from one safe house to the next, wonderin' when his nutter dad's gonna drop outta the sky! And Becca… Becca might still be alive. And for that… I'll never fuckin' forgive ya.
:'''Mallory''': This was never about Ryan or Becca. It was always selfish. Always and only for you. For the hate inside that you want to let loose on the world. I thought maybe you changed, but I was wrong. You ''are'' your father. Always have been.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Homelander''': ''[to Annie]'' Ashley tells me that you chose Silver Kinca… Kincaid.
:'''Ashley''': ''[nods]'' Mm-hmm.
:'''Homelander''': I have notes. I mean, I'm a co-captain. It's only fair I have a say in the new recruits, right?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': No. Actually, I choose the new members.
:'''Homelander''': But I am pitching the craziest twist. The audience will never see it coming, right?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Well, I've made my decision.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, come on! You haven't even heard it yet! Seriously, you're–you're gonna love it. Ready?
:''[Ashley opens the doors and reveals…]''
:'''Homelander''': Return of the Deep!
:'''The Deep''': Hey. What's up, guys? How are you?
:''[Annie is visibly upset at seeing the Deep and his wife, Cassandra at the door]''
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no, no. Starlight, before you say anything, doesn't Christ tell us to turn the other cheek?
:'''Cassandra''': ''[hugs Annie]'' I really want us to be sisters.
:'''The Deep''': I had something made for you, Starlight. It's a peace offering. ''[opens a jeweler box with a gold dolphin necklace inside]'' It's 24-karat gold with certified conflict-free diamonds. I've put in the work. And I realize that when you've made an unforgivable mistake, the first person you have to forgive… is yourself.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': What makes you think that I want a daily reminder of the guy who fucking mouth-raped me?! ''[to Homelander]'' I need a word.
:'''Ashley''': Let's let these two chat, shall we?
:''[Ashley leads The Deep and Cassandra out of the room, leaving the door slightly ajar]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[to Homelander]'' Absolutely not.
:'''Homelander''': Do you really think I'm gonna let a fucking Muslim in The Seven? Captain Al-Qaeda? We're ''Americans.''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I'm taking this to Mr. Edgar.
:'''Homelander''': My speech last night? Thirty-eight-point-six rating and a 59 share. Oh, and they're saying that the live-plus-threes are gonna be even bigger. Edgar said it himself: Popularity is power. He won't die on this hill.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[pause]'' Do I need to remind you of the Flight video?
:''[Homelander scoffs, gets up and closes the door shut]''
:'''Homelander''': Go ahead. Release it. Let's light this candle, huh? I mean, sure, I'll lose everything, but then… I'll have nothing to lose. First, I'll take out the nerve centers: White House, Pentagon. Then, any domestic defense capabilities, and then critical infrastructure like cellular, Internet–that kind of thing. And then… Well, I think then I'll just wipe New York off the fucking map. For fun. I'll even throw in Des Moines and that little cousin-fucker hick town that Maeve's from, 'cause why not? See, Starlight, I'd prefer to be loved. I would. But if you take that away from me… Well, being feared is A-one okey-doke by me. So… go ahead, partner. Do it. ''[pause; Annie doesn't say anything]'' No? You don't wanna to do it? Well, then I would have to say that you have absolutely no fucking leverage ''because I am '''the Homelander'''''… and I really can do whatever the fuck I want.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': Hey, Annie.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Homelander's had a breakdown. He's lost his fucking mind.
:'''Hughie''': Hey, hey, hey. Hey, slow down. Slow down. What?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': He's bringing the Deep back into The Seven, so I brought up the video, and he said to go ahead and release it. You were right. Co-captain was a bad idea. I have to leave.
:'''Hughie''': Look, I–I know I should tell you to run out of there like a house on fire, and I want to… ''[sighs]'' but you gotta stick it out.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I'm sorry?
:'''Hughie''': Listen, I'm–I'm back with Butcher.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Why?
:'''Hughie''': We're onto something that could kill Homelander.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': What? What is it?
:'''Hughie''': Some kind of weapon. Uh… I'm not sure, but you gotta buy us some time. Keep your eyes on him.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': How much time?
:'''Hughie''': Uh…
:'''Annie/Starlight''': You don't know. So for God knows how long, I have to paste on a smile with Homelander growing more unstable by the hour, hoping that he doesn't kill me or worse.
:'''Hughie''': If that's what it takes, then yeah. ''[pause; sighs]'' I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Just… Homelander and Vicky, they–they're running laps around us because… because we keep trying to do it the right way. The high road just doesn't work. We–We have to be as mean and fucked-up as they are.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Now you sound like…
:'''Hughie''': Like Butcher, I know. But Annie, he's... he's right. He's been right all along. I'm just so… tired of losing.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[sighs]'' Okay. You better pull this off, Hughie, but… okay.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander and Annie are filming the finale of their Vought reality show]''
:'''Homelander''': Well, this has been quite a long road for all of you. You've shown us the best of what heroes can be.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': The first of the two selections, and the newest member of The Seven is… Supersonic.
:''[Supersonic walks up to the centerstage and hugs Annie]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[shakes Supersonic's hand]'' Welcome.
:'''Supersonic''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Homelander''': ''[in Spanish]'' My friend, the honor is all mine, brother. ''[chuckles; Supersonic is weirded out]'' Well... this is it. The final new member of The Seven is… ''[beat]'' Lord of the Seven Seas, The Deep!
:''[A spotlight shines on The Deep, who is standing behind them, far away from the stage. The other two female Supe finalists, Silver Kincaid and Moonshadow look disgusted and distraught.]''
:'''Homelander''': Get up here, you!
:'''The Deep''': Alright!
:'''Homelander''': Welcome back.
:'''The Deep''': Good to see you.
:'''Homelander''': You, too.
:'''The Deep''': ''[to Supersonic]'' Congratulations, bro.
:'''Supersonic''': You, too.
:'''Homelander''': Alright. ''[to Silver Kincaid and Moonshadow]'' Well, unfortunately, it won't be either of you two. I'm sure you understand, you just can't put a price on experience.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Please hang up your capes and go.
:'''Homelander''': Now Deep, I gotta say, I am… Well, frankly, I'm moved and inspired that Starlight here has chosen to forgive you.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I accept your apology, Deep. You deserve a second chance.
:'''The Deep''': Thank you, Starlight. Looks like we've all grown.
:'''Homelander''': Just to be clear, it wasn't my idea to bring you back, buster. Not at all. Starlight here insisted on it. But you keep your distance, pal, because… Well… ''[laughs]'' she's my girl now.
:''[Annie laughs uncomfortably as Homelander wraps his arm around her]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[chuckles softly]'' Sorry, I–I can't keep it a secret anymore. It's time we let the world know. Starlight and I are in love. #HomeLight.

===''&quot;Glorious Five Year Plan&quot;'' [3.04]===
:''[Hughie closes his laptop after seeing the Homelight clip]''
:'''Hughie''': When's it air?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Tonight.
:'''Hughie''': #Homelight. You agreed to this?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': It's like what you said, Hughie. Whatever it takes. This is… This is what it takes.
:'''Hughie''': ''[pause]'' Hey… ''[takes Annie's hand]'' it's gonna be okay. Really. Let me save you for once.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[sighs]'' Hughie… This has to work.
:'''Hughie''': It'll work.
:'''Homelander''': ''[enters common room]'' What'll work?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Uh, my VoughtSonic speaker setup. I'm sorry, how did you get in?
:'''Homelander''': I have a key. ''[pause]'' Yeah, I gotta keep an eye on my best girl, right? By the way, you're a sound sleeper, Starlight. ''[pause; Annie and Hughie look shocked]'' Oh, look at you two. I'm kidding. Come on, lighten up. I'm joking! But we gotta go. Running late. ''[to Hughie]'' Rolling Stone cover shoot, hot issue. We got &quot;Hottest Ship.&quot;
:''[Homelander takes out a Sharpie pen and signs an autograph with it on Hughie's cast]''
:'''Homelander''': Don't you worry, Hughie. This little love affair is strictly for the cameras. Although, that's how me and Maeve started out, and that… ''[inhales sharply]'' got quite spicy. ''[laughs]'' Yeah, I'm not kidding, man. Let's just say that Maeve [[w:Fellatio|can bend a steel pipe without using her hands]]. ''[pause; chuckles]'' What's she like? She a good fuck?
:''[Annie's eyes start glowing and Hughie gradually inches up towards Homelander]''
:'''Homelander''': Whoa.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Touch him or anyone he cares about, and I'll walk. And I'll take my approval points with me.
:'''Homelander''': ''[whispers to Hughie]'' Women. ''[to Annie]'' I'm kidding. You really need to lighten up, guys.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Ashley''': Victoria Neuman is doing a press conference tonight.
:'''Homelander''': So?
:'''Ashley''': It's about you.
:'''Homelander''': …And you're just finding out about it now?
:'''Ashley''': I'm sure it's a nothing burger. ''[chuckles]''
:'''Homelander''': Hey, come here for a sec. ''[Ashley approaches him]'' Is your idiot brain getting fucked by stupid? It's not rhetorical. Answer me.
:'''Ashley''': No. My idiot brain is not getting fucked by stupid, sir.
:'''Homelander''': ''[scoffs]'' Well, then go and do your only job and find out what the ''fuck'' is going on, Ashley!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''A-Train''': Who asked you? Back there. Who the fuck asked you for your opinion?
:'''The Deep''': ''[offended]'' I am a member of this team.
:'''A-Train''': Please. ''[pause; looks around]'' Homelander's a great man, ''[lowers his voice]'' but the way that you kiss his ass is fuckin' gross.
:'''The Deep''': Hey, man. Look, I get it, okay? This is tough. You know, me handpicked by Homelander to come back, and you on your way out again. And a rebrand? This late in the game? Ouch. The new A-Train... How'd that work out for Eagle the Archer when he became Eagle the Rapper? Oh, that's right; it fucking didn't. It's just sad, man.
:'''A-Train''': You're like Ashton Kutcher fucked a clownfish. You're a joke. And you're so dumb, you don't even know it.
:'''The Deep''': ''[gets in A-Train's face and whispers angrily in his ear]'' Oh, yeah? Well, how about I tell Homelander who really leaked all that Nazi shit on Stormfront?
:'''A-Train''': How about I tell him you fished the Flight 37 video out of the Atlantic and gave it to Maeve?
:'''The Deep''': ''[shoves A-Train]'' What, come on! Run at me, bro! I forgot your legs don't fuckin' work!
:''[A-Train punches him hard in the chest]''
:'''The Deep''': ''[doubled over in pain]'' You gill-punched me!
:'''A-Train''': Yeah!
:'''The Deep''': Motherfucker!
:''[The Deep tackles A-Train into the wall, but both collapse to the ground, groaning in pain. Homelander walks up to them]''
:'''Homelander''': Boys, boys, boys…
:''[Homelander helps The Deep stand back up and pats him on the back, then looks down at A-Train still hunched on the ground]''
:'''Homelander''': [[w:racism|A-Train... just stay there and rest those useless fuckin' legs]].

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mother's Milk''': Butcher, what the fuck is wrong with you, man?
:'''Butcher''': I'm sure you're gonna tell me.
:'''Mother's Milk''': That shit you pulled with Ryan and now this cold-hearted shit you said to Kimiko? How could anybody be such a ''complete'' asshole?
:'''Butcher''': Practice.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You knocked on ''my'' doorstep, motherfucker. Now, I respect the chain of command, but this? I'm not gonna tolerate your bullshit anymore, man.
:'''Butcher''': Do you remember when we met?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hard to forget.
:'''Butcher''': Me and the colonel, we had our pick of officers. Some, uh... ''[chuckles softly]'' Some real haircuts. D'you ever wonder why we picked some grunt Marine stuck in the brig?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Let's see. I knocked out my racist C.O. Sent him to the ICU with one punch, so you knew I was strong. And you read my file, so you knew I hated Vought.
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, it weren't none of them. I mean, they didn't hurt, mind ya, but no. We spoke to the blokes that you went through basic with. And to the man, they said that you were the one that held that platoon together. A natural-born leader.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You never told me that.
:'''Butcher''': Mate, I'm under no illusions about who I am. And that's why we brought you in. 'Cause no matter how hard I gotta be… you're here to look after the Boys. Now, if I thought to do that, I can't be a complete arsehole, can I? Just mostly one.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie enters the bathroom just as Butcher is about to inject himself with V24]''
:'''Hughie''': Butcher, can I uh... ''[Butcher breathes heavily]'' What are you doing?
:'''Butcher''': Contingency. In case things go arse over tit at the lab.
:'''Hughie''': ''[pause; closes the door]'' I wanna try some.
:'''Butcher''': Don't be daft. This shit is poison, Hughie. A lad like you don't want no part of it.
:'''Hughie''': What, you mean like a loser? A fuck-up?
:'''Butcher''': Sooner or later, Homelander will find Ryan, okay? It's just a matter of time. I have to do this, alright? You don't.
:'''Hughie''': Annie's in just as much danger. Homelander almost lasered me in half in front of her, and it was like... it was like I was back with every bully that I ever had, just taking it. And then she had to save me ''again!'' Butcher, please. Please. Please… because right now, I am so angry that I can't even ''breathe.''
:'''Butcher''': ''[sighs]'' Oh, Hughie… It's shittier. It's not power; it's punishment. You don't deserve none of it.
:'''Hughie''': What, and you do?
:'''Butcher''': Get ready to go. ''[closes the door on Hughie]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Edgar''': You do have a hell of a view from up here. I'll give you that.
:'''Homelander''': You should see it from space. ''[pause; stares at Edgar]'' Unbelievable. 80 over 60. Your entire life is imploding and it's as if you're reading fuckin' John Grisham. I heard about your, uh, temporary leaves of absence by the way. Those things do have a ''nasty'' habit of becoming permanent, though, don't they? Don't blame Vicky, either–
:'''Edgar''': I don't. If there's one thing I taught her, it was to play all sides. She's more like me than I ever imagined. But I am curious. What did you give her?
:'''Homelander''': A little respect, Stan. Something you should've given me.
:'''Edgar''': What good would that do? Where would it even go but to the bottomless, gaping pit of insecurity you call a soul?
:'''Homelander''': ''[shudders playfully; laughs]'' Oh, God. You wanna know something? I used to be intimidated by you. I did. And now I look at you, I'm just… I–I have no idea why. Truly, you're not even pathetic. You're–You're just... nothing.
:'''Edgar''': Then why are you still here, looking for my approval like I'm your daddy? And even if I were, what would there be to approve of? The company is yours. No one left to stand up to you. But I think you'll come to sorely regret that.
:'''Homelander''': And why is that?
:'''Edgar''': Because there's no one left to cover for you either. Eventually–probably soon–the world will recognize you for the pitiful disappointment you are. You are not worthy of my respect. You are not a god. You are simply bad product.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'm fucking with you. Get over yourself. You really think my grandmother's gonna let me marry the whitest girl in all of white?

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Homelander''': I have a view I really wanna show you. It's gonna blow your mind. Hold on tight.
:''[Homelander carries Annie and they fly up to the rooftop of the building they walked out of]''
:'''Homelander''': This really is a beautiful city.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': You know, you don't need to do this. The cameras are gone.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs]'' Yeah. But, see, that's the thing about me, Starlight. If I promise something, I deliver. ''[turns Annie around and points at something offscreen]'' Now, ''that'' is the view of a lifetime.
:''[Annie is horrified to see the brutally beaten corpse of Supersonic]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Alex… Alex! Oh, my God! You fucking psycho! ''[her eyes start glowing]''
:'''Homelander''': Stop it! You know how that ends. ''[brief pause; Annie's eyes return to normal]'' And besides, this is your fault as much as it is mine.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': What?
:'''Homelander''': A-Train told me about you two mutineers and your little plot. You just don't get it, do you? I mean, you have no fucking grasp of the situation you're in at all, right? I'm gonna break it down one more time, and I'm gonna make it crystal clear so that even you can understand it, okay? There will be no more plotting, planning, playing around. That is over, okay? From here on out, there is only my dutiful, loving main squeeze Starlight, worshipping me and me alone. Because if you step one inch out of line–I mean, if you so much as fucking blink the wrong way–then ''[points at Supersonic's corpse]'' that, my love, will be Hughie. Do you understand this time? ''[pause; Annie just nods and cries]'' Good. Then, say it. So I know. &quot;That'll be Hughie.&quot;
:'''Annie/Starlight''': That'll be Hughie.
:'''Homelander''': There it is. ''[sighs]'' Find your own way home.

===''&quot;The Last Time to Look on This World of Lies&quot;'' [3.05]===
:''[The Boys take shelter after Kimiko is incapacitated from losing her powers to Soldier Boy]''
:'''Butcher''': ''[to M.M.]'' Listen, mate, we can't hang about here lookin' for him, right? He's Ivan's problem now. We gotta get Kimiko home to a proper doctor.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You don't give a shit about Kimiko. Or anyone else.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, come off it, mate. Look, I took a fuckin' drug. And in case you forgot, I just saved your life.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[pause]'' You killed Gunpowder, didn't you? Did you use your little laser eyes?
:'''Butcher''': You're too fuckin' right, I did. And it felt good. For once, I leveled the fuckin' playing field.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Butcher, the whole point of what we do–''the whole goddamn point''–is that no one should have that kind of power.
:'''Butcher''': Well, ain't that just fuckin' fairies and dancin' dildos, eh? I happen to live right down here, mate. On planet Earth.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Annie, who is grieving for Supersonic, arrives at her and Hughie's apartment]''
:'''Hughie''': Hey, come here. Come here. ''[hugs Annie]'' I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. 
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I shouldn't be here. It's not safe for you.
:'''Hughie''': I don't care. It's okay.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Hughie, Homelander killed Alex. He fucking murdered him, and it's all my fault.
:'''Hughie''': Hey… It is not your fault. Come here, come here. Come here. ''[takes Annie to the kitchen]'' We got Charleston Chew. We got Almond Joy, Bit-O-Honey. There's White Claws in the fridge. Some of that gross lavender bath bomb shit in the tub. Look, I know this doesn't make this any better, but I just… Let me take care of you for a second.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Tell me you found it.
:'''Hughie''': ''[sighs]'' Moscow was a dead end. I'm sorry.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': No weapon or gun or anything? ''[pause]'' Fuck. Then what killed Soldier Boy?
:'''Hughie''': You know what? I'm gonna get you a White Claw.
:''[Annie notices that Hughie is no longer wearing his arm cast]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Uh, Hughie? Your arm is broken. Where the hell is your cast?
:'''Hughie''': You're ''really'' gonna want a White Claw.
:''[Cut to Annie sitting in their kitchen opening a third White Claw right after finishing two]''
:'''Hughie''': Wow. Alright. Gonna have another one. Um... I'm just trying to get a bead on what part you're most upset about. Is it the part where Soldier Boy's loose in Russia, or the part where I took some temporary Compound V?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Um… it could be both parts. Uh, all the parts.
:'''Hughie''': I told you right away, though, right? That's–That's... No secrets. That's gotta be worth some points.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': You want points for not lying to me?
:'''Hughie''': I... would like to retract that statement. Um–
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Hughie, you shot up an untested drug from Vought. You could've gotten yourself killed!
:'''Hughie''': We don't have any more. And even if we did, I–I wouldn't take it. It was awful. Like, ''[groans]'' the hangover–all of it–just… absolutely hated it. ''[sighs]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': …You loved it.
:'''Hughie''': I really fucking loved it! It was awesome! I mean, you know me. If a guy in the car next to me gives me a dirty look, I'm like fucking Dom Torreto taking off, trying to get away from him. 'Cause I'm quick and I'm all about family. But in Russia… ''[chuckles]'' I wasn't scared. I–I... I saved M.M. Me! I could, like, teleport.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Teleport?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, I... I just–I knew how to do it. I just clenched my butt, and–and I jumped, and–
:'''Annie/Starlight''': No. Hughie, that was stupid and dangerous. I can't lose you, too.
:'''Hughie''': Oh, God, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're right. ''[sighs again]'' It's over.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': So… what do we do now?
:'''Hughie''': I don't know. But whatever it is, we'll figure it out together. You and me against the world, right? I love you.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I love you, too.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Butcher and Queen Maeve get drunk during their meet-up]''
:'''Butcher''': I done 'em all: Coke, E, meth, smack. ''[holds up V24 sample]'' Ain't nothing like this. Used to be months of leg work to take down a Supe. Gunpowder… not even a New York minute.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Must've felt good.
:'''Butcher''': I hated every second. ''[shakes his head]'' No. The V just made me more… me. With great power comes the absolute certainty that you'll turn into a right cunt. ''[sips from the bottle]'' I mean, that's the thing, right? You're all just people. All the V does is just amp up all that shit that's already inside. Your lot? Just a bunch of walkin' nuclear erections, y'know? And it's not just Homelander. I mean, you–you fuckin' all gotta go. Every fuckin' last… one of ya.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Yeah.
:''[Maeve drunkenly kisses Butcher. They simultaneously get up from the couch and stare at each other.]''
:'''Queen Maeve''': What? You still think you're too good for me?

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''The Legend''': I swear on my kids' lives.
:'''Butcher''': You hate your fucking kids.
:'''The Legend''': So would you, if you met them.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Homelander''': You think it really was Edgar and the mayor, maybe Jake Tapper? Just trying to fuck with me? Make me look ridiculous?
:'''Queen Maeve''': Or maybe, you're just a paranoid malignant narcissist who thinks everything is about you.
:'''Homelander''': ''[smiles slyly]'' Mmm, it's not paranoia if they're really out to get you, though. And you, Maeve... You're out to get me, aren't you?
:'''Queen Maeve''': What are you talking about?
:'''Homelander''': William Butcher. I can smell him all over you. You really will do anything to hurt me, won't you? So, what are you and William cooking up, hmm? Maybe you two brought that supervillain to town.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Oh, John. John, come on! You're talking crazy. I'm not cooking anything up with Butcher. Let's talk about this.
:'''Homelander''': Don't you dare fucking &quot;John&quot; me. You're not gonna weasel your way out of this. You know, the real tragic thing in all of this is that more than anyone, I knew what it was like for you. Swarmed everywhere we went. Every little mistake, front-page news. It is lonely at the top, yes. But at least we had each other. We were lonely together. And I loved you in my own... way. But you... what happened? Was anything about us ever real? Hmm?
:'''Queen Maeve''': ''[beat; leans forward and whispers in his ear]'' From the start... I hated you. But what's more... I fucking pitied you.
:'''Homelander''': You're completely and utterly alone. You're getting old and bitter. You pity me? ''[chuckles]'' That's actually kinda funny, don't you think? ''[leans into Maeve's face with a sinister smile]'' Hey… You wanna know something else that's funny?
:''[Homelander looks over Maeve's shoulder and raises his eyebrows. When Maeve turns to look, Black Noir suddenly attacks her.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Ashley''': ''[reads off card of gift flower basket]'' Congrats from Lindsey Graham. ''[to A-Train]'' [[w:perineum|He's such a gooch-licker]]. Anyway, I hope you know how much Homelander appreciates your loyalty. Now more than ever, he needs people he can trust. So, to thank you for being a team player, Homelander has agreed to a meeting with you and Blue Hawk. 
:'''A-Train''': Okay, great. Thanks.
:'''Ashley''': Yeah. I'll just pop outside and get him. ''[walks over to door]''
:'''A-Train''': What? Like, right now?
:'''Ashley''': ''[opens door]'' Hi.
:'''Blue Hawk''': Hey. ''[walks in]'' 
:'''Ashley''': Thanks for coming on such short notice, Blue Hawk.
:'''Blue Hawk''': Oh. ''[points and laughs heartily]'' A-Train, hey. Big fan.
:'''A-Train''': Cool. Yeah. [''Blue Hawk sits''] Blue Hawk... Yeah. I wanted to talk to you about your patrols in [[w:Trenton, New Jersey|Trenton]]. Little excessive.
:'''Blue Hawk''': Hmm? Says who?
:'''A-Train''': Well, a lot of black folks.
:'''Blue Hawk''': No. No. This has nothing to do with... [[w:African American|African Americans]]. You and me both trained with Coach Brink at school. We were taught to dominate totally.
:'''A-Train''': Yeah, but you're mostly just doing it in–in black neighborhoods. And you don't want people to say that you're being racist, right?
:'''Blue Hawk''': You know, it's actually racist to call somebody racist. What is this? Is this, like, a &quot;cancel&quot; thing? Am I being canceled? What can I do to make this right?
:'''A-Train''': Wouldn't take much. ''[chuckles]'' I don't know. Make an apology or some shit.
:'''Ashley''': What a great idea. Thank you for saying that. I'm sure Homelander would really, really appreciate that, Blue Hawk.
:'''Blue Hawk''': Hey, name the time and place. 
:'''Ashley''': It is so important to do the work, to have the difficult conversations. This is so great, you guys.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're that asshole from the lab.
:'''Butcher''': That's right. I'm the arsehole that let you out. Russian Porta-Loos, eh? You want the Countess' head on a spike, don't ya? Well, she's in there. Yours for the takin'. Consider it a gesture of good faith.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Good faith for what?
:'''Butcher''': ''[pause]'' I was thinkin' that you and I could come to a little arrangement. What you lot call… a team-up.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy enters the trailer of Crimson Countess, who is surprised to see him]''
:'''Crimson Countess''': Ben? Is that really you? You look so young.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't.
:'''Crimson Countess''': I'm so, so sorry. It wasn't my idea. God, you gotta believe me. I–I...
:'''Soldier Boy''': How much did the the Russians pay you? Hmm?
:'''Crimson Countess''': They didn't.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What? They didn't pay you anything? ''[pause]'' I loved you. All those years... that they burned me… and that they pumped me full of poison, I held onto the hope that you would come. That you would save me. Because I still loved you.
:'''Crimson Countess''': I didn't love you. I hated you. We all did.  

===''&quot;Herogasm&quot;'' [3.06]===
:'''Soldier Boy''': Where's the Chop Socky Oriental sauce?
:'''Hughie''': They don't… have that anymore?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Why the fuck not?
:'''Hughie''': Many… many good reasons.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Did you get the other shit?
:'''Butcher''': Here you go, guv.
:''[Butcher hands Soldier Boy a bottle of whiskey and some pills]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh… Man, I missed [[w:Amphetamine|bennies]]. It's how we won D-Day, you know? We were wired to the fucking gills.
:'''Butcher''': ''[as Soldier Boy crushes the pills with a jack knife]'' Listen, let's have a little chat about this team-up, yeah?
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the hell do I need a team for? The last one handed me to the Reds.
:'''Butcher''': And we got you outta that pickle. We wrapped up Crimson Countess and delivered her like a fuckin' Christmas turkey, and I even sorted Gunpowder for ya.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What, am I supposed to be impressed with that? That's like killing [[w:Emmanuel Lewis|Emmanuel Lewis]]. ''[laughs; snorts the crushed-up pills]''
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, well, he grew up a bit since you last saw him.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[to Hughie, who is staring at his shield]'' Hands off the fucking shield.
:'''Butcher''': Anyway, you want payback on Payback, don't ya? Well, it just so happens that we are experts at exterminatin' shitbag Supes. You see, it's a whole different world out there now, son. We're here to help you find your way.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, I can find them on my own.
:'''Hughie''': Are you sure? I mean, do you know what a GPS is? Or Bluetooth, or… ''[chuckles]'' the internet?
:'''Soldier Boy''': … ''[smirks]'' You made those words up.
:'''Hughie''': Nope. No, those are real words. And–And you need those to find them, alright? You need us.
:'''Butcher''': Kid's right. All we ask in return is that you add one more name to the list.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Who?
:'''Butcher''': A right cunt named Homelander. 
:'''Soldier Boy''': I've seen pictures. Who is he?
:'''Butcher''': He's the new you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No one's the new me, pal. ''[pause]'' But why him?
:'''Butcher''': Let's just say, you're not the only one who wants payback.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Alright. You help me find the rest of my team, and I'll help you with this Homelander.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mirror Homelander''': Why the long face, tiger?
:'''Homelander''': What if I can't handle him? I mean... If Noir ran--
:'''Mirror Homelander''': Oh, you can handle him. You're the top of the food chain! Hey, hey... when we were kids, alone in the Bad Room, I got us through it, right? Don't I always?
:'''Homelander''': ''[nods]'' Always.
:'''Mirror Homelander''': No matter what.
:'''Homelander''': No matter what.
: '''Mirror Homelander:''' And now, I'll get us through this, just as long as you and me stick together.
:'''Homelander''': What if Edgar's right? What if it was a-- a mistake to take over Vought? And then... I am just talent, and they all know I'm a fraud?
:'''Mirror Homelander''': Now, what do you care what a bunch of mud people think? C'mon. Tell me the real reason, I wanna hear you say it. ''[pause; Homelander hesitates]'' '''SAY IT!'''
:'''Homelander''': I want them to... love me.
:'''Mirror Homelander''': Yahtzee! Only it never seems to work out, does it? Madelyn, Maeve, Stormfront, even your own son. So why do you keep running headfirst into the same brick wall?
:'''Homelander''': ''[looks down and shakes his head]'' I don't know.
:'''Mirror Homelander''': Mmm, pants on fire, you know? It's because, deep down, there's a part of you that is still... ''human.''
:'''Homelander''': ''[on the verge of tears]'' No...
:'''Mirror Homelander''': Mmm-hmm, part of you is. A ''dirty, shrivelled, anemic'' little part of you that still ''mewls'' for approval and love, and a ''mommy'' and a ''daddy'' and ''oh, '''boo-hoo-hoo!'''''
:''[As mirror Homelander says this, the real Homelander cries in shame]''
:'''Mirror Homelander''': Look at me, tiger. Look at me. We gotta cut that part of you out like a ''cancer''. And then? Well then, my boy, you can finally be who you were always ''meant'' to be: Pure. Clean. Like marble.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy and Hughie are watching TV when a commercial for baby carriers comes on]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Do men really walk around like that?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. I mean, dads do.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay, well... Bill Cosby is America's dad, and I'll tell you one thing: He wouldn't be caught dead in that pussy gear.
:'''Hughie''': Lot to unpack there. Uh...
:'''Soldier Boy''': The Cos... That's a real man. Holy shit, did he make some strong drinks.
:'''Hughie''': ''[whispering quickly]'' Holy fucking shit.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But seriously, what passes as a man today? Christ on a cross. I read that we were ass-up in Afghanistan. The fuck is up with that? Those were the good guys. I mean, when I left, it was… 
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, you know–
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean, goddammit. We–We were ten and one, you know? I lead the 116th onto [[w:Omaha Beach|Omaha Beach]]. I was in the fuckin' [[w:Kehlsteinhaus|Eagle's Nest]]! I fought for this country! I fought for this country, and what did I get for it? Forgotten. Left to rot by my own team. ''[beat; chuckles]'' You know, I wanted some rugrats of my own with Countess. Yeah, ain't that a bitch. You know, a couple little boys. Raise them up to be men. Now… Now I got nothing.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Neuman''': Hey, so… where's Hughie?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Oh, he's just camping with his dad for a couple days.
:'''Neuman''': ''[laughs]'' Okay. Okay, good. Great. I thought he was avoiding me or something, you know… 'cause he was scared I was gonna pop his head.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[beat; swallows hard]'' Hmm?
:'''Neuman''': Come on, Annie. ''[sees Annie's eyes glowing]'' Put them away. I'm not gonna hurt you or Hughie or your families. ''[Annie blinks and her eyes return to normal]'' Besides, you'd lose.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Then, why are you here?
:'''Neuman''': Because I wanna help you.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Huh. &quot;Help&quot;. From the psycho who blew up Congress.
:'''Neuman''': Look, most of those guys passed around deepfakes of me on the House floor blowing bin Laden, so I'm not exactly overwhelmed with sympathy. Annie, you need me. You're all alone. I mean, come on. That &quot;#Homelight&quot; shit? That looks like you're in a hostage video. Blink twice if I'm wrong. And what, you gotta play nice with the guy that throat-fucked you on your first day of work? And Maeve? They say Maeve is in rehab, but you and I both know she's probably dead. I'm all you got. Come on, Annie. You and I were friends. None of that has changed for me.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Are you ever gonna get to the point?
:'''Neuman''': You have 193 million Instagram followers. Lend me your influence, and I'll lend you mine. I can protect you from Homelander. You'll finally be team captain for real. And in return, you help me goose my numbers. I can finally get my education reform bill passed. We can make things better, Annie. For my daughter. For a lot of daughters. Come on, what do you say?
:'''Annie/Starlight''': ''[pause]'' You're right. This whole place… I'm so fucking tired… of listening to people tell me I need to be shitty in order to win. Fuck you. And fuck Homelander, and fuck Vought and this &quot;whatever it takes&quot; crap. You're just gonna end up sitting on top of the steaming pile of shit that you built. I'm done. I'm fucking done. I'm not doing it anymore.
:'''Neuman''': You're not gonna be doing anything if Homelander kills you.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Yeah, maybe. But then I'll know I'm not working with a fucking nutjob. So, either pop my head or get the hell out.
:'''Neuman''': ''[beat; gets up]'' Hey, keep this between us. It'd be really tough to take out America's sweetheart, but not impossible.
:''[Annie realizes her nose is bleeding once Neuman leaves]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': Oh, okay. So, this–this is an actual orgy. That's what this is.
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' Herogasm. Still a thing, eh?
:'''Soldier Boy''': It's my thing. I founded it in '52. Me and this other Supe, Liberty. Man, was she a firecracker.
:'''Butcher''': Frenchie's gonna be real heartbroken he missed this.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie and A-Train bump into each other at Herogasm]''
:'''A-Train''': Sorry… ''[sees Hughie]'' Oh. Hey, I know you like fucking Supes, but I'm off the table.
:'''Hughie''': That's not why I'm here, okay? You're here too, you know.
:'''A-Train''': Whatever, Pornhub. I don't have time for you right now. ''[turns to walk away]''
:'''Hughie''': ''[pause]'' Hey. You never said you were sorry.
:'''A-Train''': What?
:'''Hughie''': For Robin. You never apologized for Robin.
:'''A-Train''': Jesus. You wanna do this right now?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, I do. ''[pause; A-Train says nothing]'' You just get away with everything, don't you? Just running past all the people you leave behind.
:'''A-Train''': Alright, you know what?
:'''Hughie''': What?
:'''A-Train''': ''[beat]'' I'm sorry. Is that what you wanna hear? 'Cause I am, okay? It's fucked up seeing somebody that you love get hurt like that. ''[pause]'' I'm sorry. I'm fucking sorry, Hughie.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Homelander''': William Butcher and Soldier Boy. Of course. You ''are'' behind this. This whole thing… it really is all about me. William, we made a deal to fight to the death. You and me. This is cheating. Deal's off.
:''[Homelander knocks Butcher out with his laser eyes]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[to Soldier Boy]'' You were my hero growing up. I watched all your movies hundreds of times. You were the only one that was nearly as strong as me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Buddy, you think you look strong? You're wearing a cape. You're just a cheap fuckin' knockoff.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no, no, no... '''''I'm the upgrade.''''' 

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Annie and M.M. take in the aftermath of the massacre at Herogasm. She turns on the camera on her cell phone and offers it to M.M.]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': This is a bad idea.
:'''Annie/Starlight''': Homelander helped make me America's sweetheart. He's gonna regret that.
:''[M.M. takes Annie's cell phone while she takes a few steps back]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': You ready?
:''[Annie nods. M.M. presses a button on Annie's phone to start recording an Instagram livestream]''
:'''Annie/Starlight''': I'm in [[w:Montpelier, Vermont|Montpelier, Vermont]]. Twelve heroes and civilians are dead. A lot more are wounded. Now, Homelander and Vought are going to tell you that it was the supervillain, and that they have it handled. They don't. It was Soldier Boy. I know I sound insane, but Soldier Boy doesn't care about protecting Americans and he probably never has. Most heroes don't care about you. They only care about their image. And Homelander is the worst of them. He's hurt people. He's done something to Maeve. ''[beat]'' I don't know what they're gonna do to me for telling the truth… but I'm going to keep doing it, and I should have done it sooner, and I'm sorry. And one more thing: I'm not Starlight anymore. My name is Annie January… and I fucking quit.

===''&quot;Here Comes a Candle to Light You to Bed&quot;'' [3.07]===
:''[Homelander visits a prisoner, revealed to be Queen Maeve, inside a Vought holding cell]''
:'''Homelander''': Hey, how you doing? Look, I–I'm sorry about all this. I wish I could say you get used to it, but you never do. So… where are they hiding? ''[beat; Maeve doesn't say anything]'' Butcher and Soldier Boy. Where are they?
:'''Queen Maeve''': Wait, is… ''[gets up and walks up to Homelander]'' is that concealer? Do you have a bruise?
:'''Homelander''': Yeah. Do you have any idea what you've set loose? Butcher has powers. I assume thanks to you. They've killed Crimson Countess and seven other heroes, Maeve. Seven. The ones that–that survived are done; they're powerless. Soldier Boy fried the V right out of their blood somehow. Maeve, do you understand that could happen to any one of us?
:'''Queen Maeve''': Yeah. That's the difference between you and me. You need to be a Supe. I can't wait till that's over.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Maeve–
:'''Queen Maeve''': Why are you letting me live?
:'''Homelander''': Maeve… You know, back when things were better between us… ''[sighs]'' I used to dream of having kids with you. ''[chuckles]'' No, I did. A family. Nesting, you know? I–I mean, can you imagine how perfect our kids would be? Sublime. Twice as strong as Ryan. No kid of mine would ever know a room like this, I'll tell you that.
:'''Queen Maeve''': Just so you know, I'll fucking shatter whatever you try to stick up there.
:'''Homelander''': Maeve, don't be so crass! We're not savages. I respect what you are, even if you don't. I would never force myself on you. ''[pause]'' But I am gonna harvest your eggs. That way, if... God forbid, you do die–whether by accident or choice–you'll die knowing that the very best of you carries on. With me. See, Maeve, I'm not letting you live. I'm keeping you alive.
:'''Queen Maeve''': ''[smiles and snickers]'' This is still a top-three day in my life. Because today is the day I saw you scared.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Butcher has been put into deep sleep by Mindstorm and Hughie tries to rouse him. Soldier Boy, who is very stoned, looks for Mindstorm.]''
:'''Hughie''': Butcher, wake up! Wake up!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Fucking freak slipped away. He's gonna pick us off…
:'''Hughie''': Butcher, wake up.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ... one by one.
:'''Hughie''': Come on, wake up, Butcher. Butcher! Wake up!
:'''Soldier Boy''': No, you're wasting your time. He's gone.
:'''Hughie''': What did Mindstorm do?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, if it's his usual MO, trapped him in an endless nightmare until he dies of terminal dehydration.
:'''Hughie''': No, there's gotta be a way we can wake him up.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Mindstorm put him into this. He can snap him out.
:'''Hughie''': Okay, great. Great.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But he's about to be dead.
:'''Hughie''': Wait. Wait, just hang on. If we–If we grab Mindstorm, we make him help Butcher…
:'''Soldier Boy''': No way.
:'''Hughie''': …and then–and then you can kill him. Then, you can go to town on him, man! I don't give a fuck!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hey! If you're gonna act hysterical, I'm gonna slap you like I'm [[w:Sean Connery|Connery]]. Now, unless you wanna end up like your friend there, it ain't worth the risk. Look, chin up, okay? Deal's a deal. You help me finish this, I'll kill Homelander. Butcher would've given up his life for that in a heartbeat. ''[pause; Hughie looks down at Butcher]'' So, we doing this or not?
:''[Hughie walks back to pick up his backpack]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Leave it. We gotta move fast. ''[pause]'' Ah… Do you hear that?
:'''Hughie''': Uh... You might wanna lay off the weed, huh?
:'''Soldier Boy''': And you might wanna gargle [[w:scrotum|my ballsack]].
:''[...]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Still can't believe this shit is legal. I locked up so many assholes for it back in the day. ''[beat]'' What the fuck did you say?
:'''Hughie''': Literally nothing.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Jesus. How hard?
:'''Hughie''': What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': How hard did Butcher suck your dick that you miss him that much? His mouth must feel like a Hoover Deluxe.
:'''Hughie''': God, every single thing you say is so gross. He saved me, okay? More than once. So I owe him.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, bullshit. You're on a mission. You get the job done, okay? I stormed Normandy. I fought the Nazis. You wanna know what I do when I'm sad or scared? Fucking nothing. 'Cause I'm not a fucking pussy.
:'''Hughie''': ''[pause; chuckles]'' You didn't storm shit. Your whole [[w:Marlboro Man|Marlboro Man]] act? It's fucking crap, and I–
:''[Soldier Boy punches Hughie hard in the jaw]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': I warned you.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie and Soldier Boy come across a priest and a nun stranded on the road when they make it out of the woods]''
:'''Priest''': Son, are–are you a superhero?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yes, Father. You folks need some help?
:'''Nun''': Yes. Yes, please.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay, well, it's not safe. There's a fugitive in the area. You should get out of here before you get hurt.
:'''Priest''': Uh, well, we can't. I don't suppose either of you know engines?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'll have a look.
:'''Priest''': Oh, I'd appreciate that very much.
:'''Hughie''': Uh, so, where you guys headed?
:'''Priest''': We're just on our way to a Samaritan's Embrace retreat over there in Danville.
:''[Soldier Boy shoots the priest in the head, killing him instantly. The nun screams in horror.]''
:'''Hughie''': Oh! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! What the fuck?!
:'''Soldier Boy''': This is Mindstorm's MO; he brainwashed them. That priest was gonna shank us, and she will, too.
:''[Hughie gets in front of Soldier Boy when he aims his gun at the nun]''
:'''Hughie''': Whoa, whoa, whoa!
:'''Nun''': ''[kneels down over the priest's dead body]'' Father Wallace, no!
:'''Hughie''': Hey! Hey, she doesn't look brainwashed to me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Take my word for it. Everyone's coming for us. Everyone, every day.
:'''Hughie''': Whoa! No, no, no! You have PTSD! You have PTSD, and you are super fucking stoned, alright?! Maybe this isn't what you think it is!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Move! Move!
:'''Hughie''': She's a human being! A nun! And if there's one thing I know–
:'''Nun''': ''[tackles Hughie from behind and bites him]'' DIE, YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKERS!
:'''Hughie''': Oh, my God! Do something!
:'''Soldier Boy''': If you stay still, I…
:'''Hughie''': Fuck you! Get her off me!
:''[Soldier Boy shoots the nun in the head. Hughie pants as she falls to the ground.]''
:'''Hughie''': OH! FUCK! ME! '''NO!''' Hard pass on this [[w:The Exorcist|''Exorcist'']] shit!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks down at the dead nun and priest]'' What's black and white and red all over? ''[pause]'' Okay, first off, I don't have shellshock. Fuck you. Second, this is what I'm talking about. ''This'' is being a soldier!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Annie is waiting for an elevator at Vought Tower after stealing several Compound V samples. Homelander sees her standing by the elevators.]''
:'''Homelander''': Here she is. Did you think I wouldn't know the second you walked through the door?
:'''Annie''': Well, we broke up. It was time to pack my shit and go.
:'''Homelander''': ''[chuckles and smiles]'' Okay. So, here's what happens now. You're gonna march into VNN Studios, and you're gonna recant everything you said. It was a tragic cocktail of heartbreak, Zoloft and despair. You regret any harm that your lies have caused Vought or me, but… me in particular.
:'''Annie''': Mmm.
:'''Homelander''': Good.
:'''Annie''': Okay, but you wanna hear my counter? I stop Soldier Boy before he murders more people, and I find Maeve. If she's still alive.
:'''Homelander''': Maeve's just learning her manners. And you should do the same. Seriously, before you throw away everything you've worked so hard for.
:'''Annie''': You know what? I could give a shit.
:'''Homelander''': Really? You sure about that? Your fame is the only thing protecting you.
:'''Annie''': Here's the thing: I'm not scared of you anymore. I'm not. I see who you are. I see how small you are. I saw it. ''[pause]'' I saw it the night that you killed Supersonic.
:'''Homelander''': You know what I remember from that night? I remember I told you what would happen to Hughie. You walk, that's next.
:'''Annie''': …Good luck with that.
:''[Annie pulls out her cell phone, which is recording a livestream for her Instagram followers]''
:'''Annie''': Now that you've told my 190 million followers. I'm still pretty famous. 
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughing]'' Hey, everybody!
:'''Annie''': ''[hears elevator doors open]'' Oh, that's me. I gotta go.
:''[Annie walks backwards into the elevator while still recording Homelander]''
:'''Homelander''': Starlight, wait. You're not supposed to record us when we're running lines! 
:''[Homelander's cheery demeanor quickly changes to one of sheer anger and he glares at Annie as the elevator doors close]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Annie''': I need to talk to Hughie. Where is he?
:'''Butcher''': Oh, Starlight. How delightful. He's just popped out for a bit.
:'''Annie''': Okay, well, he's not answering his phone.
:'''Butcher''': Bit hard to keep a phone when you're teleportin' all day, innit, love? How can I help?
:'''Annie''': Temp V is gonna kill you both.
:'''Butcher''': Well, it's gonna have to join the queue.
:'''Annie''': I was just in the lab. It causes lesions, okay? It turns your brain into fucking Swiss cheese! So ''please'' be honest with me, and tell me how many doses have you taken?
:'''Butcher''': Just a couple.
:'''Annie''': Jesus Christ. Butcher, three to five doses ''kills you''. You need to tell Hughie.
:'''Butcher''': Yeah. Yeah, I will. I will. I promise.
:'''Annie''': Okay, but I'm calling back every five minutes until… ''[Butcher hangs up on her]'' Butcher? Goddammit.
:''[Hughie comes back with food for himself and Butcher]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, hi. Only thing open was Long John Silver's, so... I guess that's kind of fish and chips, right?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah. Nice one.
:'''Hughie''': Everything alright?
:'''Butcher''': It's, uh… It's the Temp V.
:'''Hughie''': What about it?
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' We gotta swing by the office and get some more. ''[pause]'' And then you, me, and Granny Fucker are gonna finish this fuckin' job. 
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. ''[chuckles]'' Fuck, yeah.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Homelander''': ''[to Ashley on the phone]'' Obviously, I didn't realize the little bitch was recording me, did I? ''[pause]'' No, no! Ashley, I don't fucking care! You're the spin doctor, go fucking spin it! ''[hears phone line beeping; to operator]'' What?!
:'''Operator''': Sir, I apologize for disturbing you… but you have a call. He says he's... Well, he's claiming to be Soldier Boy.
:'''Homelander''': ''[stammers]'' Put him through.
:''[Homelander presses a button to accept the other call]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[to Soldier Boy]'' This really you?
:'''Soldier Boy''': The situation's changed. I thought we should have a conversation.
:'''Homelander''': I don't know who the fuck you think you are, but you got lucky once because you fucking ambushed me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Fall 1980, I get called into Vogelbaum's lab for an experiment. Some shit about genetics. I still remember the Penthouse I used: June. Danielle Deneux, bush like a Pomeranian.
:'''Homelander''': What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I beat my meat into a cup. Turns out… Vogelbaum made a kid. Born in spring 1981: A boy. You know what the bitch of it is? If they'd have just kept me around, I'd have let you take the spotlight. What father wouldn't want that for his son?

===''&quot;The Instant White-Hot Wild&quot;'' [3.08]===
:'''Homelander''': Listen, Ryan. Your mom, she wanted what's best for you. And so do I. You have a real family.
:'''Ryan''': But aren't you mad at me? For what I did?
:'''Homelander''': You know it wasn't your fault, right? Son, when you're as strong as we are, accidents happen, things break... and sometimes they are the things that you love the most. But- but that's all it is: An accident. And nobody on this earth knows that better than me. Nobody. That's why I'm always gonna love you. No matter what happens, no matter... what you do. I'm not going anywhere. I will always be here.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie has Annie pick him up at the gas station where Butcher abandoned him]''
:'''Hughie''': Thanks for picking me up. I'm sure you wanna tell me to go fuck myself.
:'''Annie''': I'm not saying anything.
:'''Hughie''': 'Cause if you did wanna say that, I mean, you could. ''[sighs]''
:'''Annie''': What happened?
:'''Hughie''': Uh... Butcher. Just out of nowhere, knocked me out.
:'''Annie''': Did he tell you?
:'''Hughie''': Tell me what?
:'''Annie''': That Temp V is fatal. If you shot up any more, you'd probably be dead right now. ''[Hughie stares at her]'' Oh, my fucking God, he didn't tell you! That asshole!
:'''Hughie''': Saved my life.
:'''Annie''': Saved your life? It looks like he gave you a concussion.
:'''Hughie''': He stopped me from taking more V. ''[pause]'' Have you ever had [[w:Pizza rolls|pizza rolls]]?
:'''Annie''': Like... middle school sleepover pizza rolls?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. Dad bought them in bulk after Mom left. Every night, we'd have pizza rolls, watch ''Remington Steele'', try not to touch her spot on the couch. And he never fought back for her or anything. Just sat there eating pizza rolls. I spent so much time thinking he was… sad and–and weak. Just a loser. But you know what? Dad… was there. Taking care of me during the worst days of his life, just trying to keep the lights on and a... and a roof above our heads. He wasn't weak. I just, I–I didn't know what strength was. Annie, I'm–I'm so sorry. I've been an asshole. I never should have… I–I never should've put any of this onto you.
:'''Annie''': Thank you for saying that.
:'''Hughie''': Literally every neuron in your brain is screaming &quot;I told you so&quot;, so why don't you just say it before your head explodes?
:'''Annie''': Oh, my God! I fucking told you so!
:'''Hughie''': Feel good to get that out?
:'''Annie''': So satisfying.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sniffs whiskey]'' Whoa. That brings me back. Used to sneak my dad's Manhattans when I was a kid.
:'''Butcher''': I didn't have to nick nothin' from my old man. He used to get me and me little brother lagered just for the hell of it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, I gotta admit, that does sound funny. The old man still around?
:'''Butcher''': Arse cancer. ''[pause; sees Mallory calling him and shuts his phone off]'' Shittin' his guts out as we speak, one hopes.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You ever see ''The Soldier Boy Story?''
:'''Butcher''': Must've missed it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': It's a classic. We lost [[w:Academy Award for Best Picture|Best Picture]] to [[w:An American in Paris|''An American in Paris'']] that year. At least I got to assfuck Jane Wyman in the coat check. It's about a poor kid from the streets of South Philly, discovers he's got incredible powers to match his heart of gold. It was all bullshit.
:'''Butcher''': ''[sarcastically]'' Blimey, you don't say.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Actually, my father owned half the steel mills in the state. I went to boarding school. Got kicked out of boarding school because I was a fuck-up… but he made sure I knew it.
:'''Butcher''': Used the belt, did he?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Never laid a hand on me. He couldn't be bothered. He said I was a disappointment. Not good enough to carry his name. So I went to his golf buddies in the War Department, and they got me into Dr. Vought's Compound V trials. I became a superhero. Strongest man alive, fuckin' ticker-tape parades when I came home.
:'''Butcher''': And what did the old man say then?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Ah… he said I took a shortcut. ''[pause]'' That a real man wouldn't have cheated. ''[beat; clears throat]'' How 'bout you? You got kids?
:'''Butcher''': It's complicated.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I always assumed I had a few out there… somewhere. I always wanted 'em, 'cause I thought I could do it better than my father did.
:'''Butcher''': Homelander ain't yours. Not really.
:'''Soldier Boy''': He's the only blood I've got left.
:'''Butcher''': It don't matter. You didn't name him, didn't raise him. Vought grew him in a fuckin' test tube to take your place. He's the fuckin' reason they left you to rot with the Ivans. Look, mate... we had a deal.
:''[Soldier Boy finishes his glass of whiskey, stands up, and walks out]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'm gonna get some air.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[The Deep plays a voice recording of Annie calling Vought security for Ashley, A-Train and Homelander]''
:'''Annie''': ''[over the recording]'' I'm Starlight, and I'm telling you that you need to evacuate the Tower ''now''.
:'''Vought Guard''': ''[over the recording]'' Why?
:'''Annie''': ''[over the recording]'' Because Soldier Boy is alive, and he–
:'''The Deep''': We ran it through the voice thingamabob. It's really her, so… you know, I think we should probably evacuate.
:'''Homelander''': Nobody's evacuating anything. We have to project strength.
:'''The Deep''': Right. No, that's smart. Strength. Okay, so my Angel Fish–that's what I call Analytics–we think Soldier Boy's coming for Noir. Last member of Payback, right? So we should use Noir as bait. And that way it draws Soldier Boy directly to the…
:''[Homelander lays Black Noir's face mask on the table]''
:'''The Deep''': ...Hey, is everything–Is everything okay with Noir?
:'''Homelander''': He was keeping secrets from me. You know, when the company first rolled me out in front of the cameras, they told me I was gonna get my very own team. I wanted so badly for that team to be the family that I never got. And then, I got ''you''.
:'''The Deep''': I've–I've always tried to help, sir.
:'''Homelander''': What, like when you ran away from Herogasm? Or maybe when you fucked an octopus? ''[pause; A-Train looks at The Deep with disgust]'' You really wanna help?
:''[Homelander motions for The Deep to come closer to him. He whispers something in The Deep's ear.]''
:'''The Deep''': Sir… ''[chuckles]'' That's sort of treason.
:'''Homelander''': Big word.
:'''The Deep''': Anything you need, Homelander. Sir.
:'''Homelander''': Ashley, take off that wig.
:'''Ashley''': What wig?
:''[Homelander just glares at her. Ashley reluctantly reaches above her head, and takes off her red-headed wig, revealing that she is mostly bald from pulling her hair out. A-Train and The Deep look shocked.]''
:'''Homelander''': Hmmm. ''[to A-Train]'' And then, there's you. How could you kill one of your own kind in cold blood? You are gonna tell the world that we are the one and only true justice. Noir was worth more than ''all of you'' put together. You're not my family. I don't need any of you. Remember that. 

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander is inside a Vought lab watching an archival video of Soldier Boy when Butcher appears behind him]''
:'''Homelander''': Scorched earth, eh, William?
:'''Butcher''': Scorched earth.
:''[Butcher walks into the Vought lab. Soldier Boy and Queen Maeve follow him inside.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Where's Noir?
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' He's dead. I killed him.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Why?
:'''Homelander''': Because he didn't tell me about you. I'm alone. I just wanna talk. I know what it's like to have your team betray you. But with you and I together… they wouldn't stand a chance. Nobody would.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Unless we kill each other first.
:'''Homelander''': That's true, but why? What, because he says so? ''[chuckling]'' He's nothing. He's a human.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Soldier Boy]'' Don't you listen to this fuckin' twat. He ain't your kid.
:'''Homelander''': YES, I AM! I '''AM''' YOUR SON! I am your blood. That's all that matters.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe.
:''[Homelander opens a door and brings Ryan out]''
:'''Butcher''': Ryan…
:'''Homelander''': ''[to Soldier Boy]'' This is my son, Ryan. Your grandson.
:'''Ryan''': Hi, Grandpa.
:'''Homelander''': You see? You have a family. You have him… ''[tearfully]'' and you have me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' It's a shame that I've missed… so much. I wish I could've raised you and taught you, father to son.
:'''Homelander''': Me, too. That's okay. We're not alone anymore. We have each other.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe if I'd raised you, I could've made you better… and not some weak, sniveling pussy starved for attention. But there's no fixing that now.
:'''Homelander''': Weak? I'm you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I know. ''You're a fucking disappointment.''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck are you doing?
:'''Butcher''': Not the kid.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, I thought you said blood didn't matter. I thought that was the whole fuckin' point!
:'''Butcher''': He's my wife's son.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Wait, Homelander fucked your wife? And you wanna save the brat? The hell's wrong with you?
:'''Butcher''': I made a promise.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So this is it. Everything you wanted–He's right fuckin' there, and now you blink?
:'''Butcher''': Stand down.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Fuck you! You're weaker than he is.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Annie''': Hello? It's me. Are you there?
:''[Queen Maeve walks out Annie's bedroom with an arm cast, wearing gauze over her right eye while her other eye is black and blue]''
:'''Annie''': Oh, God. Well, you, uh… You look like shit.
:'''Queen Maeve''': ''[grins]'' Fuck off, [[w:The Smurfs|Smurfette]].
:'''Annie''': ''[chuckles]'' You gonna be okay?
:'''Queen Maeve''': Yeah, slowly. Painfully, like every other powerless schmuck in America, thanks to Soldier Boy. Question: Should I get a pirate patch or the Sammy Davis glass eye?
:'''Annie''': Oh, the pirate patch. No question.
:''[Maeve's girlfriend, Elena, comes out to join her]''
:'''Elena''': ''[to Maeve]'' You ready? ''[to Annie]'' Hey.
:'''Annie''': Hey, Elena. Where will you guys go?
:'''Queen Maeve''': I don't know, somewhere Homelander won't find me.
:'''Elena''': A farm, ideally. She's from [[w:Modesto, California|Modesto]]. She was a Future Farmer of America.
:'''Queen Maeve''': ''[smirks]'' Great.
:'''Annie''': ''[to Maeve]'' Thank you. For everything.
:'''Queen Maeve''': First time your prissy ass showed up at the Tower, crying in that bathroom… You saved me. Truth is, you... you don't need me anymore. I could jump… but you can fucking fly. ''[beat; chuckles when Annie hugs her]'' You're like [[w:Hallmark Cards|a walking Hallmark card]]. Enough.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie sees Annie holding her old Starlight uniform]''
:'''Hughie''': You sure you wanna do this?
:''[Annie thinks for a moment, then shoves the uniform into a trash chute]''
:'''Annie''': I don't need it. ''[shakes her head]'' I don't. The suit never gave me any power. And Vought sure as shit didn't. ''[Hughie gives Annie her old boots to throw away]'' It's always just been me.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[pause; clears his throat]'' Uh, Annie?
:'''Annie''': Mm-hmm?
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, we're in a historic building. You need to double-knot...
:'''Annie''': Okay.
:'''Mother's Milk''': … and bag your trash if you're gonna be working here.
:'''Annie''': Butcher isn't gonna like it.
:'''Frenchie''': Butcher can suck my shit. From now on, this is a democracy, huh? I say you're one of The Boys.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Me, too.
:''[Kimiko and Hughie raise their hands in approval. Butcher suddenly appears and interrupts by sipping from a Vought cup. Hughie watches TV and notices something on the news while everyone stares coldly at Butcher.]''
:'''Hughie''': Oh, fuck. 
:'''Female Reporter''': ''[on TV]'' After the tragic drowning of presumptive VP candidate Lamar Bishop, we go live to the Singer campaign in Sioux Falls, where Dakota Bob just announced his new running mate.
:''[The news cuts to Victoria Neuman walking behind Singer]''
:'''Male Reporter''': ''[on TV]'' What would you like to say to the American people?
:'''Neuman''': ''[on TV]'' As the next Vice President, I will work hard to provide a safe and secure future for all citizens on both sides of the political divide.
:'''Singer''': ''[on TV]'' And that's why I am so proud to have her on my team.
:''[All of the Boys, except for Butcher, watch the cheering crowd in shock]''
:'''Butcher''': Well… That bitch has definitely gotta go.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Homelander''': ''[to a crowd of his fans]'' Hey, good to see ya! I love you guys. You ARE America. True patriots. Hey - do you wanna meet someone, someone very special to me? Yeah? All right, come on down here, buddy. ''[Ryan floats down]'' Alright, everyone. This little guy here... is my son, Ryan.
:''[The crowd cheers and claps, except for a Starlighter with a water bottle]''
:'''Water Bottle Guy''': FUCK YOU, FASCIST!
:''[He throws the bottle at Ryan, much to the crowd's shock and disgust. Homelander blows his head apart on the spot, leaving everyone in stunned silence for a moment.]''
:'''Todd''': Yeah... YEAH! YEAH!! ''[laughs]'' 
:''[The rest of the crowd joins him in cheering. Homelander looks genuinely surprised, but then grins and laughs.]''
:'''Homelander''': All right!

==External links==
{{The Boys}}
[[Category:The Boys (TV series) seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>s2bi1e2vm2l45v72qx99puls4k7n5zd</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>The Boys (TV series)/Season 4</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>279974</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943867</id>
      <parentid>3942258</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:11:51Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* &quot;Season Four Finale / Assassination Run&quot; [4.08] */</comment>
      <origin>3943867</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="117364" sha1="atviqjg8xu9erxn68wh7pd8cbgu2xue" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Season''' [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 1|1]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 2|2]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 3|3]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 4|4]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 5|5]]  [[The Boys (TV series)|Main]]
----
'''''[[w:The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]''''' is an American superhero television series developed by Eric Kripke for [[w:Amazon Prime Video|Amazon Prime Video]]. Based on the comic book of the same name by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson, it follows the eponymous team of vigilantes as they combat superpowered individuals who abuse their abilities.

===''&quot;Department of Dirty Tricks&quot;'' [4.01]===
:'''Butcher''': Listen, Ryan, I got a lot to say and fuck-all time to say it. I got a lorry out back. I can get you out of here.
:'''Ryan''': What are you talking about?
:'''Butcher''': I know you're angry with me, and you got every right to be. But you know how dangerous Homelander is.
:'''Ryan''': He's my dad.
:'''Butcher''': Ryan, he–he murdered some poor sod right in front of your eyes!
:'''Ryan''': But that guy was a pedophile.
:'''Butcher''': Ryan, it ain't true. He's lyin' to ya. Let me take ya to Grace, alright? And then you don't gotta see me no more... Please, son. I'm beggin' ya. It's what your Mum would want.
:'''Homelander''': ''[walking into the room]'' &quot;No&quot; means &quot;no&quot;, William. This isn't the [[w:Neverland Ranch|Neverland Ranch]]. Don't worry. Nothing bad's gonna happen, right? ''[pause]'' Oh... Seems it already has. Look at that big, black mass curdling around your brain. What do you got, six months? Less? It's too bad, we're not gonna have that last dance together. I'll miss us.
:'''Butcher''': Bloody hell, you wank to your own voice, don't ya?
:'''Homelander''': That's the spirit, champ.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie is left behind as the Boys rescue Frenchie and Kimiko from being killed by Neuman's daughter, Zoe, who is revealed to be a Supe]''
:'''Hughie''': Thank Christ. Can we go now? ''[recoils in shock when he sees Neuman]'' Jesus!
:'''Neuman''': Hey, Hughie.
:'''Hughie''': Hey.
:'''Neuman''': You gotta teach Butcher the meaning of the word &quot;covert&quot;. He just got made by a 12-year-old.
:'''Hughie''': You mean Zoe, who just murdered two guys? Vic, you–you shot your own daughter up with V? How could you do that to her?
:'''Neuman''': I needed to keep her safe.
:'''Hughie''': Safe? You turned her into a fucking monster. Like you.
:'''Neuman''': I'm sorry. That sounds like the pot calling the kettle a teleporting dude with his dick out.
:'''Hughie''': Worst mistake I ever made. ''[pause]'' Vic, you and me, we were… We were like family. I mean… Was everything just... bullshit?
:'''Neuman''': I almost told you once. That night of the blackout, you remember? You brought every bodega snack you could carry for Zoe. We played Uno with her for hours until the lights came back on. And I thought… you were one of my closest friends. I mean, hell, you're dating a Supe. If anyone would understand, it'd be you, right?
:'''Hughie''': Why didn't you tell me?
:'''Neuman''': I was scared.
:'''Hughie''': Scared you'd have to pop my head.
:'''Neuman''': I was scared to lose you. ''[Hughie sighs]'' I always cared about you, Hughie. That part was real.
:'''Hughie''': Hey, Vicky… Fuck you!
:''[Hughie splashes acid onto Neuman, which only manages to burn a hole in her business suit]''
:'''Neuman''': Seriously? ''[scoffs]'' I have to be on TV in, like, ten minutes, you fuckin' asshole!
:'''Hughie''': We're gonna out you! We're gonna go to the press, tell them you blew up Congress! I still–I still got the Red River files!
:'''Neuman''': Okay, okay, okay. Have you ever seen ''[[w:WarGames|WarGames]]?'' What am I saying, look at you. Of course you've seen fucking ''WarGames.''
:'''Hughie''': We're making jokes?
:'''Neuman''': Mutually assured destruction. I hurt you, you out me. You out me, I kill everyone you've ever loved. The only thing that makes sense is a truce.
:''[Butcher sneaks up to Neuman's right with a gun aimed at her]''
:'''Butcher''': Or Plan B.
:''[He shoots Neuman in the head. Hughie ducks for cover as the bullet bounces off Neuman and ricochets off the walls inside the van.]''
:'''Hughie''': Jesus, fuck!
:'''Neuman''': ''[groans]'' How is it you guys are actually getting worse at your jobs? ''[hears her phone chime and checks it]'' Mmm. They just called Arizona. Guess I better go change.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Joe Kessler''': Billy Butcher.
:'''Butcher''': Joe Kessler. Fuck me, how long's it been?
:'''Kessler''': I'd say eleven years, but officially speaking, none of that shit show ever happened.
:'''Butcher''': Then how come I remember you high on opium, rimmin' out the General's wife?
:'''Kessler''': Well, fuck you. ''[laughs along with Butcher and hugs him]'' Hey, let me buy you a bad cup of coffee.
:''[Cut to Butcher and Kessler sitting in a break room]''
:'''Kessler''': Demoted from your own fucking team. What's your shitty code name again?
:'''Butcher''': The Boys.
:'''Kessler''': Oof. Who came up with that shit? Why you putting up with it? Walk away.
:'''Butcher''': No, my son, I've got plans and schemes. I'll be back at the head of the table in no time.
:'''Kessler''': Well, you better. You know, a lot of the guys are thinking you got benched at the worst possible time. You know, Mallory's so focused on killing the VP-elect 'cause that's what Singer wants, and half of goddamn Langley's on it.
:'''Butcher''': Well, you know Grace. She's always been a bit of a political animal.
:'''Kessler''': And what are you focused on?
:'''Butcher''': Homelander. He killed that poor cunt in broad daylight, and they fuckin' cheered. I mean, what d'you think that taught him, eh? No. We're whistlin' away towards a fuckin' apocalypse, and Grace's eye ain't on the ball.
:'''Kessler''': You had a clean shot at him, right? With Soldier Boy? You didn't take it. Was your eye on the ball?
:'''Butcher''': Why do I get the feeling we ain't just bumped into each other?
:'''Kessler''': You remember the Panjshir Valley?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah. Pretty hard to forget.
:'''Kessler''': You dragged me out of there and dropped how many bodies to do it, without giving it a second fucking thought.
:'''Butcher''': And yet you still didn't name your son after me, eh?
:'''Kessler''': We need someone like you, Billy. Right fucking now. Before the Supes start rounding us up and dumping us off in camps.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ashley''': ''[to Homelander]'' Sir, after [[w:Gen V season 1|that debacle at Godolkin]]–thank you again for saving my life–the board felt we should find new candidates for The Seven, ASAP. The selection committee has narrowed it down to 25 choices.
:''[Ashley switches to a Supe leaderboard on the monitor. Homelander has his back turned towards her.]''
:'''Ashley''': Um… Okay, great. If we're going purely on socials, I might suggest Talon out of Redlands.
:'''The Deep''': Pass. She's a butterface. Her body's on point, but her face...
:'''Ashley''': Yeah, I get it. Thank you so much for explaining. ''[under her breath]'' Chauvinist prick. ''[looks at Hyperion's profile]'' Ugh, not that slutty cum rag.
:''[She clicks on the profile of a male Supe named Dogknott]''
:'''A-Train''': Hold up, I thought he ate a dog.
:'''The Deep''': He ate out a dog. ''[A-Train and Ashley give concerned looks]'' It's a big difference.
:''[Ashley clicks on the next profile, which shows…]''
:'''A-Train''': Sister Sage? Hell no. She was with me in Teenage Kix for, like, barely a year before they canned her ass.
:'''The Deep''': What's her power?
:'''A-Train''': She's the world's smartest person. She's not smart enough to know when to shut her mouth. ''[looks at the profile of a white male Supe named…]'' Wrangler. Isn't he a–
:'''Ashley''': Texas nutjob. The San Antonio office had to cover up those migrant murders.
:'''Homelander''': I kinda like him.
:'''Ashley''': Of course, he bumps us with suburban women and white men over 50. Amazing choice, sir.
:'''The Deep''': Yeah, I totally agree. He's a mensch. Did I use that word right? Mensch?
:'''Homelander''': ''[to Ashley]'' You just said he was crazy.
:'''Ashley''': What I meant was we would be crazy to, you know, not bring him in.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; groans]'' I am surrounded by sycophants and fucking imbeciles!
:'''The Deep''': It's just that you make a lot of really great points, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Deep, just… ''[beat; turns chair around to face The Deep]'' Blow A-Train.
:'''The Deep''': What?
:'''Homelander''': I'm not kidding. Go over there, pull out A-Train's cock and blow him.
:''[The Deep just scoffs before reluctantly getting up from his chair to stand next to A-Train]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[to A-Train]'' Get up.
:''[A-Train stands up and faces The Deep, who kneels down to eye level with A-Train's crotch. Ashley is surprisingly turned on and grins.]''
:'''The Deep''': ''[chuckles; to A-Train]'' Sex is just a spectrum, right, bro?
:'''Homelander''': Get off your fucking knees!
:''[The Deep quickly gets up and returns to his seat]''
:'''Homelander''': This is exactly what I'm talking about. Not one of you has the stomach to challenge anything I say. ''[gets up and starts walking out of the conference room]'' Oh, my God. I have gotta carry this entire fucking company on my shoulders.
:'''Ashley''': You're... right?
:''[Homelander stops for a moment, then sighs and leaves]''
:'''The Deep''': ''[notices A-Train staring at him]'' I wasn't gonna do it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander arrives at the apartment of Sister Sage, one of the top Supes Ashley is hoping to recruit into The Seven. Sage opens the door and sees him in casual attire.]''
:'''Sister Sage''': I am almost never surprised.
:'''Homelander''': May I come in?
:''[Sage lets Homelander inside. He stares at the books piled and scattered all around her living room.]''
:'''Homelander''': Sister Sage…
:'''Sister Sage''': Just Sage.
:'''Homelander''': Right.
:'''Sister Sage''': Vought added the &quot;Sister&quot; part. Can't have one of us without a racial qualifier. ''[Homelander chuckles]'' Never seen you without the suit. Why incognito?
:'''Homelander''': You know, I would've thought the smartest woman on Earth would have a nicer place.
:'''Sister Sage''': Smartest person. And that person's too smart to give a fuck about Pottery Barn.
:'''Homelander''': Okay. Preach, sister. Well, um… You're so smart, show me. ''[pause; Sage looks at him, perplexed]'' Show me.
:'''Sister Sage''': Based on your public appearances, your stylist is dying your hair more often. Used to be every month, now it's every 2.4 weeks. Did she tell you you're going gray, or is she hiding it? ''[Homelander just scoffs]'' So between that and your enlarged prostate–
:'''Homelander''': My fucking ''what?''
:'''Sister Sage''': Look at your hands. You've been washing them more often, so likely you've been peeing more often, which makes sense. You got a lot of power, but you do age. Plus, there's that small matter your own father almost killed you.
:'''Homelander''': ''[smiles and chuckles]'' Wow.
:'''Sister Sage''': Any mouth breather could see you're going through some existential midlife… whatever.
:'''Homelander''': That's pretty ballsy for someone whose power is a party trick.
:'''Sister Sage''': You are welcome to laser me, but I'm guessing you need me and my party trick for something.
:'''Homelander''': Hmm… I need advice. From someone on my level. Of course, if you breathe a word of this, I'll pull you apart bit by bit.
:'''Sister Sage''': Naturally.
:'''Homelander''': God, I've spent my life scaling to the peak of Vought. It's all I ever wanted. And now that I have it–
:'''Sister Sage''': You're still not happy?
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' I save people, they cheer. I fucking kill people, they cheer. It's–It's meaningless. Humans are nothing; they're–they're less than nothing. They're just toys for my amusement. And yet they control everything. It's unnatural. What kind of legacy am I gonna leave to my son? A shithole country in a shithole world, or something better? Something... pure and cleansed. Like marble.
:'''Sister Sage''': You do realize that probably won't make you happy either.
:'''Homelander''': Still. Tell me how you'd go about it. Hypothetically.
:'''Sister Sage''': Rome, Greece–all democracies–they fail because people are fucking stupid. You don't need an army of supermen like Nazi Bae wanted. So German. If you crush the masses, who builds your monuments? Who tongues your taint? No. The people will tear it apart themselves; just gotta nudge 'em a little. Then, you get to swoop in, be the one saving it.
:'''Homelander''': Like Caesar.
:'''Sister Sage''': Like Caesar. Statistically, it's inevitable.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; walks to Sage's front door]'' I'd like you to join The Seven.
:'''Sister Sage''': No fucking way.
:'''Homelander''': Why not?
:'''Sister Sage''': Because I'm not wearing some vaguely racist supersuit in front of a bunch of clapping seals. Plus, I'm a black woman who is a thousand times smarter than you. Your ego can't handle it.
:'''Homelander''': I'm pretty smart myself.
:'''Sister Sage''': See what I mean?
:'''Homelander''': Smart enough to listen. I mean, ''really'' listen to you. ''[Sage sighs]'' You can stay here, reeking of Taco Bell and loneliness, or we can put some of your theories into practice on a global scale. When's the last time you got a chance like that?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Seven, accompanied by Sister Sage, are with three HomeTeamer supporters waiting to meet Homelander. One of the supporters is Monique's ex-boyfriend, Todd.]''
:'''A-Train''': Sage, it's good to see you again. ''[quietly]'' What the fuck are you doing here?
:'''Sister Sage''': Homelander's tired of being surrounded by morons.
:'''Homelander''': ''[walking into the room]'' Hello, everyone.
:'''Todd''': Homelander! I just wanna say, it's a huge honor to be here with you…
:'''Homelander''': Right. Now, I can't stay long, but I heard that you are some of my biggest fans, supporting me when others turned their backs. I just wanted to personally say… Thank you for your devotion. And your sacrifice.
:'''Todd''': W... Well, really, it's you who gives so much to…
:'''Homelander''': ''[holds up finger to silence Todd]'' You people are more than just fans. You're martyrs to the greatest cause on Earth. ''[to The Deep]'' Open it.
:'''The Deep''': You got it. ''[reaches into a duffle bag and pulls out three baseball bats]'' Whoa. Bats.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah. I want you to take these bats and beat these gentlemen to death.
:''[The Seven all glance nervously at the HomeTeamers, who look at each other fearfully]''
:'''Todd''': ''[beat; laughing]'' You're funny.
:'''The Deep''': Oh, it's like one of your tests. You want us to say no.
:'''Homelander''': No, Deep. This is not a test. ''[hands a bat each to A-Train and Black Noir II]'' I want you to beat these gentlemen to death... ''now.''
:'''Todd''': I think maybe we should go.
:''[Black Noir II bashes the head of a HomeTeamer who attempts to leave]''
:'''Todd''': Oh, Jesus!
:'''Homelander''': ''[to Black Noir II, who holds up his bloody bat]'' Mm-hmm.
:''[Todd watches The Deep beat the other HomeTeamer to death with a bat. Black Noir II repeatedly swings at the body of the HomeTeamer he just killed. A-Train looks on with disapproval while Homelander leaves.]''
:'''Todd''': Jesus!
:''[A-Train runs towards the door and stands in Todd's way, allowing Black Noir II to sneak up from behind and fatally bash Todd in the back of the head with his bat.]''
:'''Sister Sage''': Stay here. Wait for further instructions. ''[exits the room]''
:'''Black Noir II''': ''[beat]'' Yo, what the fuck?! That was ''so'' fucked up, you guys! 

===''&quot;Life Among the Septics&quot;'' [4.02]===
:''[Butcher has just informed the Boys he has six months to live]''
:'''Hughie''': Jesus. You're just telling us now? Have you seen any specialists? Have you…
:''[Kimiko walks into the Boys' office]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': How long you got?
:'''Butcher''': It's none of your fuckin' business. I'm not sure why I'm tellin' you at all.
:'''Kimiko''': ''[signing to Frenchie]'' What's going on?
:''[Frenchie makes a throat-slitting gesture]''
:'''Butcher''': Let's just say I got an angel on my shoulder. And she's a right bloody nag.
:'''Annie''': Butcher, I tried to warn you that that shit was poison!
:'''Butcher''': You ain't one of us.
:'''Hughie''': Hey!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Alright! ''[to Butcher]'' A word.
:''[M.M. opens the door and leads Butcher out of the Boys' office into a hallway]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': You're done.
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, what?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Fired. Grab your shit and get the fuck out.
:'''Butcher''': I level with you lot and this is the thanks I get. Fuck me. See what bein' honest gets ya?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Honest? Motherfucker, you've been lying to us for the last six months!
:'''Butcher''': Not tellin' ain't lyin'. Look, you need all the help you can get, mate.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Not from you. You're a liability, Butcher.
:'''Butcher''': I ain't gonna let this stand, then. The Boys is mine.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Says a dying man with one last bluff. Now grab your shit and get the fuck out. Or I'll throw you out.
:''[M.M. hears the floor creaking, turns his head and sees Hughie standing by the door]''
:'''Hughie''': Just–
:'''Mother's Milk''': I don't wanna hear it. He's out. You can join him if you don't like it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Vought marketing team pitches Ryan's new Supe identity]''
:'''Evan''': Small-town kid grows up on a Montana ranch with his mom. On the surface, he's an everyday all-American boy.
:'''Seth''': But deep in his heart, he knows he's different, special. He's always asking himself, &quot;Who am I?&quot; Then one day, that question is answered when Homelander flies down from the sky and says, with tears in his eyes…
:'''Homelander''': No tears.
:'''Seth''': …and says proudly, ''[Homelander mouths along with Seth and grins]'' &quot;Son, it's time for you to take your place by my side&quot;.
:'''Evan''': And for Ryan it feels surprising, yet inevitable. He always knew he was destined for greatness.
:'''Seth''': Because he came from greatness!
:''[Seth unveils a poster of Ryan wearing a supersuit that looks identical to Homelander's with the Supe name, Homeboy]''
:'''Homelander''': Oooh! ''[chuckles and claps]'' Wow. ''[to Ryan]'' Oh, buddy, can you believe that? Wh–What do you think?
:'''Ryan''': It's cool… I guess.
:'''Homelander''': You guess? ''[chuckles]'' Uh… I think it looks amazing.
:'''Ashley''': Oh, so amazing. Really marketable.
:'''Also Ashley''': So marketable.
:'''Sister Sage''': The whole pitch blows.
:'''Ashley''': It... does not blow.
:'''Sister Sage''': It blows, harder than [[w:Nancy Reagan|Nancy Reagan]] on [[w:MGM Grand Las Vegas|the MGM backlot]].
:'''Ashley''': I'm sorry, why are you here?
:'''Sister Sage''': Vought got rid of most of the sidekicks after Gunpowder. The settlements exceeded profitability.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, but I don't think Ryan is gonna file an HR complaint against me. ''[laughs with the rest of the marketing team]''
:'''Ryan''': What?
:'''Sister Sage''': Ryan is the first natural-born superhero, and his brand needs to reflect that. He's not one of Vought's lab rat freaks. He was chosen by fate, God, whatever… to be the one who saves the world.
:'''Homelander''': Yes. But let's not forget why he is special, shall we? He's my son. Chosen by God, sure, but uh… made by me.
:'''Sister Sage''': The chosen one narrative only works if he stands alone. [[w:Harry Potter|Harry Potter]], [[w:Neo (The Matrix)|Neo]], [[w:Luke Skywalker|Luke Skywalker]]. Hollywood's trained people to fall in love with [[w:lone cowboy|white boy lone saviors]]. So, America will want to fall in love with Ryan.
:''[Sage hands Ryan her iPad, which shows a crime itinerary document]''
:'''Ryan''': What is this?
:'''Homelander''': It's a crime itinerary. Your first save. Congratulations, son. ''[whispering to Sage]'' I'm not on the call sheet.
:'''Sister Sage''': You wanted a kingdom for your son. I'm helping you get it.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat]'' Excellent. Just as we discussed. Feel free to move forward.
:'''Sister Sage''': Thanks. ''[pulls out cell phone; to Homelander]'' Ah, if you don't mind? ''[takes a quick selfie with Homelander; to Ashley]'' I'm here because Homelander wants me here. Because he trusts me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ashley''': ''[enters elevator with Sage]'' Listen. I know you're the smartest woman on Earth–
:'''Sister Sage''': Smartest person.
:'''Ashley''': Let me give you some advice. You know, girls supporting girls. You cannot talk to Homelander like that.
:'''Sister Sage''': I'm telling him the truth. You're so afraid of him, you've plucked yourself bald. If I were you, I'd make myself useful. You know, get some lactation going, let him suck on those titties before you end up like Madelyn Stillwell.
:''[The Deep gets in the elevator when the doors open]''
:'''The Deep''': Oh, Ashley, hey. What's up? Just the girl boss I wanted to see. I've been looking everywhere for you. Hey, so I heard that Ryan's doing his first solo save. I wanna talk to you about something. I have this idea. ''[clears throat]'' Okay, so what if–and just hear me out on this–what if I was there? That's it. That's the pitch.
:'''Ashley''': Hmm. You wanna join a family-friendly PG save? While [[w:PETA|PETA]] still has you on their bestiality watchlist? ''[smiling]'' I swear to God. Stupid people who think they're smart make me want to eat my own shit!
:''[Ashley walks out the elevator, leaving Sage alone with The Deep]''
:'''Sister Sage''': Why do you let her talk to you like that?
:'''The Deep''': She's just a bitch. It's probably that time of the month. It's like a full moon thing, isn't it?
:'''Sister Sage''': You're a genetically superior being, and she's the evolutionary equivalent of a capybara.
:'''The Deep''': Cappuccino... ?
:'''Sister Sage''': It's a giant rodent from South America.
:'''The Deep''': Oh.
:'''Sister Sage''': You're better than her. Act like it. ''[pause; elevator doors open]'' And you should be at the save. It's a good idea. ''[walks out of elevator]'' 
:'''The Deep''': Thank you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Sister Sage meets a conspiracy theorist Supe named Firecracker at a TruthCon convention]''
:'''Sister Sage''': Do you actually believe all of this? Or is it just bullshit smeared on top of a personal vendetta?
:'''Firecracker''': Ain't you a little mouthy one.
:'''Sister Sage''': Appreciate the subtextual racism there, but I'm a Supe. Sister Sage. I work with Homelander.
:'''Firecracker''': Bullshit. ''[Sage shows her the selfie she took with Homelander]'' Goddamn! Is he here?!
:'''Sister Sage''': Of course not. He wouldn't be caught dead with these [[w:Appalachian stereotypes|ringworm-infested cousin fuckers]]. Though there's a chance you could meet him. First, I wanna see your powers though. 
:''[Firecracker snaps her fingers, causing small sparks to fly from her fingertips]''
:'''Sister Sage''': Wow, that is... lackluster.
:'''Firecracker''': I'm… strong too, though.
:'''Sister Sage''': Look, what's important is… what are you selling?
:''[Butcher and M.M. are revealed to be eavesdropping on them from a distance]''
:'''Firecracker''': I'm here to share the truth and nothing but.
:'''Sister Sage''': ''What are you selling?''
:'''Firecracker''': Did I stutter? ''[pause; scoffs when Sage is about to leave]'' Purpose. I sell purpose. These people got nothing. Maybe they lost a job or a house or a kid to Oxy. Politicians don't give a shit. Mainstream media tells them to be ashamed of their skin color, so I bring them together, tell them a story, give them a purpose. Which would you rather believe? That you belong to a community of warriors battling a secret evil, or that you're a lonely, inconsequential nobody that no one will ever remember?
:'''Sister Sage''': ''[chuckles]'' Deep's Blue Sea Room. 9:00 p.m.
:''[Butcher and M.M. remove their earpieces and walk off once Sage is out of sight]''
:'''Butcher''': Sage has got no powers, right?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Besides her brains? Nope.
:'''Butcher''': So, why all the sneakin' around shite? Let's just grab her, work her over and rumble what we need.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hey. This is surveillance only, okay?
:'''Butcher''': Alright, you sit tight and watch me do your job.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Alright, enough.
:''[M.M. grabs Butcher by the neck and drags him outside]''
:'''Butcher''': Get your fuckin' hands off me!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Just go home, alright?
:'''Butcher''': Or what? We have a Barney?! Well, come on, then! Have a go!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Butcher, for fuck's sake.
:'''Butcher''': You've been gaggin' for it. Ever since Soldier Boy. Ten pounds of C4 with an inch fuse pokin' out your arse, you are! Well, c'mon, then! Have at it, son!
:'''Mother's Milk''': 'Cause that's the only way you feel any regret, is to get it beaten into you.
:'''Butcher''': You're a shit skipper, you are. Hughie's fucked off, Kimiko's hammered. We've been here for hours and still know fuck all! You're gonna get this bloody lot killed. You can't eat, you can't sleep, and you ain't willin' to do what it takes to run this mob 'cause you ain't got the bollocks, son.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Nice try, Butcher. But it ain't gonna work.
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, ain't that what your wife said?
:''[M.M. punches Butcher in the face. Butcher just smiles and allows M.M. to continue punching him until he falls to the ground.]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': All that bullshit you pulled, and the mess you always leave behind for me to clean up. You know why I kept coming back? 'Cause I thought maybe this time, it'll be a little different. All the fucking shit we've been through together, man. I thought maybe this time, maybe you and I could just… just be fucking brothers again! ''[pause]'' Just go home, man.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander finds Ryan crying into a pillow after his first save results in the accidental death of a Vought stuntman]''
:'''Homelander''': Who wants a creamy, delicious milkshake? Hmm? ''[pause; Ryan continues crying]'' Oh, Ryan… Okay, come on. Come on. It's okay. Don't worry, okay? Don't worry. You'll get plenty of solo saves, I promise. But I really do think that my being there is good for your numbers.
:'''Ryan''': What?
:'''Homelander''': Yeah.
:'''Ryan''': No.
:'''Homelander''': Yes.
:'''Ryan''': No, no…
:'''Homelander''': Yes.
:'''Ryan''': I killed Koy.
:'''Homelander''': That's what you're upset about? Koy? ''[sighs]'' Okay. Accidents happen all the time, okay? Humans are fragile. You can't save them all.
:'''Ryan''': But isn't that our job?
:'''Homelander''': Look, Koy died doing what he loved, okay? It'll be better next time.
:'''Ryan''': No.
:'''Homelander''': Yes.
:'''Ryan''': No, I'm never doing that again.
:'''Homelander''': Jesus Christ. How many times do I have to tell you?! They're only human, Ryan! Toys! ''[sighs]'' You can't go around feeling bad about what you are 'cause a few things break. Who cares? You are destined for so much more, you understand? You're chosen, young man. Sooner or later, you gotta accept it.

===''&quot;We'll Keep the Red Flag Flying Here&quot;'' [4.03]===
:''[Butcher and Kessler discuss their plan to rescue Ryan while the television shows Homelander holding a rally outside Vought Tower]''
:'''Butcher''': There’s enough here to take down a bull elephant.
:'''Kessler''': Ten bull elephants. I’m not takin' any chances. How you gonna get close enough to use it?
:'''Butcher''': If I can get Ryan here, I can dose him. You just be ready.
:'''Kessler''': He’s not gonna be real happy with us when he wakes up.
:'''Butcher''': Grace built the Hazlet Safe House with the specific intention of hot-boxing' Supes. It’ll hold Ryan.
:'''Kessler''': Not for long.
:'''Butcher''': Then we better work fast. Like when we deprogrammed them two ISIL lads, eh?
:'''Kessler''': And if he doesn’t listen to us?
:''[Butcher gets momentarily distracted when he sees Homelander on TV bring Ryan up on stage]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[on TV]'' My son, Ryan.
:'''Butcher''': …Then we keep him high on halothane till he does. Now listen here, Joe. We get Ryan’s head clear, and that’s it, alright? Nothing about trainin' him up to top Homelander.
:'''Kessler''': So you’ve said.
:'''Butcher''': I mean it, Joe. Would you train your boy up to be a killer?
:'''Kessler''': Listen, brother. You don’t trust me, go back to your team. Oh, wait.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Sister Sage watch Firecracker filming a Vought promo from a distance]''
:'''Firecracker''': Did you know that these “vaccines” that they’re giving out at the Starlight House actually cause autism? And–And not that cool ''[[w:Rain Man|Rain Man]]'' autism that makes you good at countin' cards and shit.
:'''Homelander''': That's her?
:'''Sister Sage''': Yeah.
:'''Homelander''': Really?
:'''Sister Sage''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Homelander''': Seems like she fell off her jet ski one too many times.
:'''Sister Sage''': Now that Starlight’s back leading the Starlighters, we need her.
:'''Homelander''': ''That'' is gonna shut them up?
:'''Sister Sage''': No, she’s gonna make them louder. Are you gonna trust me or not?
:'''Homelander''': Is there a problem? ‘Cause this is a huge day for you, but you seem to have something firmly lodged up your asshole.
:'''Sister Sage''': This spandex is. Up my ass and in a camel toe. The whole point was for me to stay behind the scenes.
:''[Homelander and Sage quickly get their photo taken together by the camera crew. Homelander motions for them to leave.]''
:'''Sister Sage''': You are clearly punishing me for openly disagreeing with you, which you said you could handle, but clearly you can’t.
:'''Homelander''': Do you really think I’d be that petty?
:'''Sister Sage''': Yes, I do. I mean, did it occur to you that it is harder to stage a fucking coup with a million eyes on me?
:'''Homelander''': Popularity is power, Sister.
:'''Sister Sage''': It’s a prison.
:'''Homelander''': Listen, it’s gonna be great, okay? You’re a member of The Seven now. You’re a superhero. Act like it. ''[to the male members of The Seven]'' Hey, how about a photo with the new girl, guys?
:'''The Deep''': Yeah, get in here. Front and center.
:''[Sage tenses up uncomfortably as The Deep pulls her in between him and Black Noir II]''
:'''Homelander''': Get in there. Make a sandwich out of her.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[M.M. hacks the phone of A-Train's brother, Nathan, to get himself a meeting with A-Train]''
:'''A-Train''': Hughie’s guy? You jacked my brother’s phone?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Cloned it. Had to get your attention somehow.
:'''A-Train''': You know I could smear your motherfuckin' face across this astroturf in three seconds, right?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Like you did Blue Hawk? I just wanna talk.
:'''A-Train''': Why the fuck would I ever talk to you?
:'''Mother's Milk''': ‘Cause you gave Starlight that footage. I got you on the office camera doing it. Matter of fact, I got so much dirt on you, A-Train, I could bury you six dozen feet under. But… I don’t think I’m gonna need to do that.
:'''A-Train''': And why is that?
:'''Mother's Milk''': ‘Cause of those dark circles under your eyes. You ain’t getting no sleep. It makes me wonder, what the fuck is keepin' A-Train up at night? Is it that bullshit white savior movie they got you in? Or that they put your brother in a wheelchair? Or guilt for beatin' three men to death over at Planet Vought? I knew one of those guys. Wasn’t my favorite person, but… he was innocent. You know what I think? I think you’ve spent so much time wearing that stupid-ass Black Power suit, pretending to give a shit, that something stuck. You may have that racist white boy’s heart up in you, but you got a second goddamn chance to actually give a shit. ''[pause]'' So what you gonna do with it, man?
:'''A-Train''': Fuck you. Sage is already hunting for whoever leaked that footage. ‘Cause giving a shit just gets you killed.
:'''Mother's Milk''': True. But you’re still standing here.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Butcher''': I saw your save on the telly. So you’re a big hero now, eh?
:'''Ryan''': Not really.
:'''Butcher''': Come on, you’re a star. Nailed your lines and all.
:'''Ryan''': I actually… I accidentally hurt someone.
:'''Butcher''': What do you mean, “hurt ’em”?
:'''Ryan''': I was supposed to throw them… but I did it too hard.
:'''Butcher''': They gonna be alright?
:'''Ryan''': ''[shakes his head]'' My dad says I shouldn’t even care. ''[pause; tearfully]'' I get why you don’t want me. I wouldn’t want me, either.
:'''Butcher''': Hey… Now you listen to me. Them horrible things I said… I didn’t mean ’em. I have this, uh… I have this habit, see, of pushin' people away.
:'''Ryan''': Why?
:'''Butcher''': ‘Cause, uh… ‘Cause I’m a bad man. I ain’t got no business lookin' after a kid.
:'''Ryan''': That's not true.
:'''Butcher''': Before, you asked if I was scared. And the truth of the matter… is I’m bloody terrified, mate. I’m leavin' this world with nothing to show for it. I lost me bruv… your mum. And I could be leavin' without makin' things right with the one part of her that ''is'' still alive. And that… that scares me more than anything.
:''[Butcher takes the cookie jar and dumps the halothane cookies in the trash]''
:'''Ryan''': Why’d you do that?
:'''Butcher''': I fucked ’em up. Put way too much sugar in ’em.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sister Sage''': So, tell me about your relationship with Starlight. I understand you two were friends.
:'''Anika''': Friends? Um, no, I wouldn’t say that we were friends. I mean, we shared an Almond Joy from time to time.
:'''Sister Sage''': Our records show you made a phone call to the Starlight House within the past month, so…
:'''Homelander''': Are you working with her?
:'''Anika''': Uh, no, I–I was just donating some clothes.
:'''Homelander''': So why is your heart pounding like a little bass drum?
:'''Anika''': I didn’t do anything, okay? I swear.
:'''Sister Sage''': Okay. Let’s–Let’s just all calm down, okay? You’re not in trouble here, Anika. ''[laughs]'' Starlight’s the bad guy here. So, look. We’re gonna find out anyway, so you just tell us the truth. We swear you’ll be fine. ''[to Homelander]'' Right?
:'''Homelander''': Yes. Yes, I… I swear. I… I swear on the life of my son.
:'''Anika''': ''[pause; looks at Ashley, who nods]'' Okay. Yes, Starlight did call me a few days ago. She just wanted some help tracking–
:''[Homelander suddenly kills Anika by lasering her head. Ashley freaks out in horror.]''
:'''Homelander''': What? She confessed. Leak plugged.
:'''Sister Sage''': You don’t think the next word out of her mouth might have been useful?
:'''Homelander''': ''[shrugs]'' Guess I am that petty.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker walks into her bedroom and sees Annie holding up her &quot;Jesus, Guns, Babies&quot; board]'' 
:'''Annie''': This is fucking insane. You can’t actually mean this.
:'''Firecracker''': I’m sorry, who let you in?
:'''Annie''': Bedroom window. This used to be my place. ''[sighs]'' Yeah, I gotta say, I really hate what you’ve done with it.
:'''Firecracker''': You know, when I said, “Debate me,” this wasn’t what I had in mind.
:'''Annie''': Why me? What have I done to make you hate me so much?
:'''Firecracker''': ...You really don’t remember me, do you? Of course. I mean, why would you? We were only on the same pageant circuit together for three fuckin’ years. Course I was going by “Sparkler” back in those days.
:'''Annie''': Sparkler. Yeah, right. You sang that “God Bless America” medley.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[scoffs]'' I practiced that routine so fuckin’ hard. Never mind we were too poor to have a backyard to practice in, but… I’d dream that one day, I’d get good enough to win. ''[pause]'' [[w:Miami-Dade County, Florida|Miami-Dade]]. Down to you and me, the finals. And my mom starts doing my makeup, and I notice that everyone is… snickering at me. You remember why? Turns out you told everyone that I had an ass-fuck gangbang with the judges, which was the only way trash like me could ever make it to the final. I was thirteen years old. And when I went to you to ask you why… you remember what you said?
:'''Annie''': Look, I was immature and stupid, and my mom taught me to be ruthless.
:'''Firecracker''': Do you remember what you said?
:'''Annie''': I said that… ''[sighs]'' &quot;I don’t talk to fat sluts.&quot;
:'''Firecracker''': And then, not long after that, I had to quit the pageant circuit, ’cause… Well, a rumor like that, it really follows you around. And the more you deny it, the more they believe it.
:'''Annie''': I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It was so fucked up, and it was so wrong. I was jealous, but I’m not that person anymore.
:'''Firecracker''': People don’t change. And everybody thinks that you’re so decent. So pretty and perfect. Hell, you fuckin' think you’re better than everybody else.
:'''Annie''': That’s not true.
:'''Firecracker''': You’re damn fuckin' right it’s not. All that dove, pure angel bullshit? No, I see the connivin' little mean girl bitch in there. And when I’m done, the rest of the world’s gonna see it, too.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Daphne Campbell''':I was, uh... 22 when I had you. Mm-hmm. ''[chuckles]'' Oh, those dimples. But I was depressed. Postpartum. Uh... You know, people think depression, they think, “Oh, so you’re sleepy, so what?” But it’s... not like that. It... it’s painful. It hurts. My friends all said, “Give it a month, six months, a year,” but it- it never went away. But you were always so fun. We’d have dance parties. I never wanted you to see it. But... getting dressed was like... [[w:Mount Everest|climbing Everest]]. And so, one night, I just took 40 [[w:Ambien|Ambien]] and [[w:suicide|tried to kill myself]]. Thank God I threw them up in the toilet. So the next day, I... took you to school, and I left. I didn’t want to, but... it was life or death for me.
:'''Hughie''': I didn’t know that.
:'''Daphne''': Why would you?
:'''Hughie''': You, um... you never called.
:'''Daphne''': I tried. But your dad was so hurt, and- and... he didn’t want me to confuse you. So, eventually, I just stopped. I thought, you know, maybe I wasn’t cut out to be a parent. And I know you’ve spent a lot of your life hating me and thinking I’m the villain, and I would never ask for your forgiveness. But I’m really sorry, Hughie, that I hurt you. I was just fucked up, you know?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Where have you been?
:'''Ryan''': Sorry. I flew to Coney Island to get those hot dogs.
:'''Homelander''': You’re lying.
:'''Ryan''': No, I’m not.
:'''Homelander''': You’ve been at William Butcher’s. I can smell him on you.
:'''Ryan''': I wanted to see him. ''[Homelander scoffs at him]'' He’s going through a tough time.
:'''Homelander''': Why do you care when you have everything here?! You have a home, you have a father! I’ve given you everything that I ever wanted, and it’s still not good enough for you! WHY?! You’re ungrateful. You go behind my back, you lie to me. Why? ''[softly]'' Fuck. Why am I not good enough for you?
:'''Ryan''': ''[stammers]'' No, I… It’s just Butcher–
:'''Homelander''': Butcher. You know what? If you love him so much, why don’t you get ''him'' to be your dad?
:'''Ryan''': No, I don’t want him to be my dad. You’re my–
:'''Homelander''': Enough! ENOUGH!
:''[Homelander throws a statue at a mirror in a fit of rage. Ryan runs away from him.]''
:'''Homelander''': Aw, fuck. Fuck.
:'''Mirror Homelander #1''': John? John… Come here.
:''[Homelander gets up and walks over to the shattered mirror, where he sees three reflections of himself]''
:'''Mirror Homelander #1''': John, come here. You really made a mess this time, tiger.
:'''Mirror Homelander #2''': Come on, champ. Pull yourself together. Deep breath.
:'''Mirror Homelander #1''': For God’s sakes, look at you. A few Starlighters hate you, Ryan spends some time with Butcher, and ''oh boo-hoo'', you’re a fucking mess!
:'''Mirror Homelander #2''': You have to be stronger, John. For Ryan.
:'''Mirror Homelander #1''': You still need love!
:'''Mirror Homelander #2''': You’re pushing him away.
:'''Mirror Homelander #1''': So much love! You still crave it!
:'''Homelander''': No, that’s not true.
:'''Mirror Homelander #1''': You’re gonna make him weak and needy, like you.
:'''Mirror Homelander #2''': You can still fix things. He’s your son.
:'''Mirror Homelander #1''': He hates you. He’s gonna turn on you.
:'''Mirror Homelander #2''': Your blood.
:'''Mirror Homelander #1''': Everyone hates you.
:''[The third Homelander reflection shushes the other two]''
:'''Mirror Homelander #3''': It’s time to overcome this need for love–this sickness–once and for all. You’re never gonna be your true self until you transcend your humanity.
:'''Homelander''': What do I do?
:'''Mirror Homelanders''': You need to go back to the start.
:''[Homelander remembers the laboratory where he was raised as a child]''
:'''Mirror Homelander #3''': John, you need to go home.

===''&quot;Wisdom of the Ages&quot;'' [4.04]===
:''[Homelander decides to torture the scientists who experimented on him during childhood, starting with Frank]''
:'''Homelander''': Hey, Frank, come on over. How about a game of wastepaper basketball?
:'''Frank''': I’m sorry?
:'''Homelander''': Uh, first of three, and tell you what? To make it interesting: You win, I’ll let you knock off early, go see the fam.
:'''Frank''': Um, okay.
:'''Homelander''': Excellent. I’ll start. 
:''[Homelander crumples up some paper into a ball and successfully throws it into the wastebasket. He watches as Frank also manages to throw a paper ball into the wastebasket.]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause; crumples up more paper]'' You know, I learned this game from you, Frank.
:'''Frank''': I don’t understand.
:'''Homelander''': I once saw you take a shot at a wastebasket, and you nailed it, and… And you don’t remember.
:'''Frank''': No.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah? ''[throws a second paper ball into the basket]'' Well, I sure do. Yeah, you–you were sitting there, and… Well, I was in this oven here. And you made the shot. You did a little fist pump to celebrate, and–and then you turned up the temperature to see if you could burn my skin. You remember that, right? ''[chuckles]'' Your turn. 
:''[Frank tosses his second paper ball into the wastebasket, scoring another point]''
:'''Homelander''': Fun fact: Even though my skin didn’t char, it still really hurt. ''[laughs]'' I mean, a lot. Yeah, I was in there, screaming in agony, and my tears just sizzled away. 
:''[Homelander's smile breaks as he remembers his younger self crying out in pain inside the oven]''
:'''Homelander''': Yeah… I remember there were people standing here taking notes, but behind them I saw you make that shot. ''[crumples up a third piece of paper]'' It really was a great shot, Frank.
:'''Frank''': I was just doing my job.
:''[Just as Homelander is about to throw his third paper ball, he wavers as his mind flashes back again to himself burning in the oven]''
:'''Homelander''': Hmm. You know, I had nightmares about that exact moment, and you can’t even remember it. It’s funny, isn’t it? How people can have such a different memory of the exact same thing. It’s all a matter of perspective, I guess. ''[pause]'' Hey, Frank. This is my last shot. ''[points at the oven]'' Why don’t you go watch from in there?
:'''Frank''': John, why don’t we–
:'''Homelander''': Homelander. Get in the oven, Frank.
:'''Frank''': ''[chuckling]'' Please.
:'''Homelander''': ''[opens the oven door]'' Get in the oven or your family goes in with you.
:'''Marty''': Please, Homelander, you don’t have to do this!
:'''Homelander''': Marty… 
:''[Some of the scientists gasp and fearfully watch Frank reluctantly walk inside the oven]''
:'''Homelander''': Thank you.
:'''Frank''': I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.
:'''Homelander''': You’re sorry? Now? But why? You were just doing your job, right?
:''[Homelander shuts the oven door and cranks up the oven heater]''
:'''Frank''': Homelander… Don’t do this! No!
:''[Marty and the other scientists look away as Frank's body slowly chars and gets engulfed in flames. Frank touches the glass panel on the door, which immediately sets his hand on fire. Homelander tosses his paper ball, but misses the waste basket.]''
:'''Homelander''': And I bet you would’ve won.
:''[Frank collapses dead, his incinerated skeleton still smoldering inside the oven]''
:'''Female Scientist''': Oh, my God… Oh, my God!
:'''Homelander''': I forgive you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie is accompanied by Kimiko when he meets up with A-Train]''
:'''A-Train''': What the shit is this? Where’s the talking goatee with the gold chains?
:'''Hughie''': ''[to Kimiko, who he holds back]'' It’s okay. ''[to A-Train]'' I’m the one that called you.
:'''A-Train''': Are you crazy? Sage is on my ass, stares at me like I’m fucking dinner, but you thought this was a good time to be seen together?
:'''Hughie''': I need a dose of Compound V, and I need it today.
:'''A-Train''': Oh, is that all?! For what?
:'''Hughie''': What do you care?
:'''A-Train''': Homelander has every vial of V locked up in his apartment. Hundreds of them. Nobody gets it.
:'''Hughie''': Okay. Well, he’s not gonna miss one vial, then. You gotta find a way.
:'''A-Train''': No. It’s too dangerous. ''[starts walking away]'' 
:'''Hughie''': No! Hey, fuck that! You owe me!
:'''A-Train''': I owe you? I just saved your fucking life.
:'''Hughie''': Every single fucked-up, horrible thing that’s ever happened to me–to all of us–it all started with you, ’cause you took away someone I loved! And now you’re gonna give someone I love back.
:'''A-Train''': What?
:'''Hughie''': ''[pause]'' My dad’s about to die. V is the only thing that can save him. This is your chance… to finally make things right.
:'''A-Train''': What makes you think I give a shit?
:'''Hughie''': You tell me.
:'''A-Train''': If I do this… we’re good? Forever?
:'''Hughie''': Yes.
:''[A-Train turns back around and super-runs out of the dock. Kimiko punches Hughie's arm.]''
:'''Hughie''': Ow! What?!
:'''Kimiko''': ''[texting to Hughie]'' You didn't say we were meeting A-Train. And you want V? Haven't you learned anything?
:'''Hughie''': Kimiko, I’m sorry, but it’s my dad. What else was I supposed to do?
:'''Kimiko''': ''[texting to Hughie]'' I'm sorry, but I think you are supposed to let him die. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Butcher''': M, I got a favour to ask.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You think you’re in a position to ask for a favor?
:'''Butcher''': If I can’t get the job done before I, uh…
:''[Butcher has a vision of Becca standing next to M.M.]''
:'''Butcher''': I need you to get Ryan away from Homelander.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Oh, Butcher.
:'''Butcher''': I gotta be realistic. Some days I can barely even fuckin' stand. Get him outta there. Raise him.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Raise him?
:'''Butcher''': You’re the best dad I know, M. The best fuckin' anyone.
:'''Mother's Milk''': That might be one of the nicest things you’ve ever said to me... but what if Ryan doesn’t wanna go?
:'''Butcher''': Then you’ve gotta make him.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Butcher''': ''[claps; to Firecracker]'' Top-notch show, love. Just weren’t sure whether you wanted us to kneel before your cross or burn it.
:'''Firecracker''': …Oh, you’re those motherfuckers that killed my friend.
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, crying shame, that. But if it’s any consolation, he’s up there with God, noshin' on his holiest of holies as we speak.
:'''Firecracker''': I’m gonna shut your fuckin' face–
:'''Butcher''': Alright, alright. Keep your hair on, love. We just want a little chin wag’s all.
:'''Firecracker''': Talk American.
:'''Butcher''': Right. You remember that magical summer when you was 28, workin' as a counselor at the Capes for Christ Bible Camp in Davie, Florida, and you met that lovely fifteen-year-old boy who tickled your fancy, and… Well then, tickled more than that, didn’t he? Hmm? Ring any bells? ''[shows a tweet about Firecracker's arrest on his cell phone]'' Here’s a little keepsake snapped by the Broward County Sheriff’s Department that you can stash in your wank bank. You and your little [[w:Justin Bieber|Bieber]] edgin' in the back of your RAV4 in the car park of Buca di Beppo.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Whatever voodoo Vought’s lawyers pulled to get your statutory charges dropped, I don’t think they’re gonna matter too much to your evangelical audience back there.
:'''Butcher''': You’re gonna tell us everything you know about Sage and her grand plan, ''[points at his cell phone]'' or I hit this little tweet button here. ''[smirks]''
:'''Firecracker''': ''[beat]'' How about I just send it myself? ''[presses the phone's &quot;Send&quot; icon, to Butcher and Milk's shock]'' Fuck around and find out.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Annie and Frenchie watch Firecracker walk onstage during Ezekiel's speech, holding back fake tears]''
:'''Ezekiel''': &quot;Starlight&quot;, that's 9 letters! Or is that 6 upside down?! &quot;Annie January&quot;, 12 letters! That's two more sixes! [[w:number of the beast|666!]] What more proof could you possibly need?!
:'''Firecracker''': I’m sorry, I gotta interrupt. I’m so sorry. I need–I need to make a confession.
:'''Ezekiel''': A confession?
:'''Firecracker''': I need to confess my sins. ''[Ezekiel nods and hands her the mike]'' Ain’t no way to sugarcoat this. I had… inappropriate relations with a sweet young man. ''[exhales]'' Damn, that smile. But that young man, he was fifteen years old…
:'''Annie''': Oh…
:'''Firecracker''': …but the moment of my greatest weakness was also the moment that pushed me to my eternal salvation. I was born again, and my sins were washed away by the tears of His love!
:'''Ezekiel''': Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!
:'''Firecracker''': Now, I–I believe that our Lord Jesus Christ put that young man in my life to lead me to the path of righteousness.
:'''Annie''': ''[rolls her eyes]'' Oh, my God.
:'''Firecracker''': You gotta choose to turn into the light of His love. And that’s what Starlight, she just didn’t do. Y’all ever hear that story about her very first save? She was only thirteen years old, and well, a gunman came into Walmart and took hostages. Well, Starlight, she came in a’blastin'. But what they don’t tell you is that she blinded one of those hostages that day. A mother of three, just trying to buy [[w:Crunch Cap'n Crunch#Variations|Crunch Berries]] for her kids. But Starlight, she just went on, smilin' for those cameras like none of it ever happened. Starlight’s no hero. She never was.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Annie tearfully watches Firecracker continue publicly discrediting her during her television special]''
:'''Firecracker''': ''[on TV]'' Now, y’all heard a lot tonight about who Starlight really is. But you still haven’t seen the true monster behind the mask. And the truth… Oh, it is so much worse than you could ever imagine. Six months ago, Starlight visited a clinic. She wasn’t going for a checkup.
:'''Annie''': What the fuck?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[on TV]'' She found out that she was pregnant, and she had an abortion.
:'''Annie''': Are those my ''fucking medical records?''
:'''Firecracker''': ''[on TV]'' She was raised a Christian. She knew the difference between right and wrong. She knew exactly what she was doin'! So you won’t tell me that those teens over there, that they’re safe with her! With that baby killer?!
:''[Annie storms out of the Starlight House]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Annie, wait!
:''[...]''
:'''Firecracker''': She could have given it up for adoption! But no, she murdered it!
:''[Firecracker sees Annie fly towards her, eyes glowing. Annie lands on stage and menacingly walks up to Firecracker.]''
:'''Firecracker''': So you finally came to deb–
:''[Annie brutally beats Firecracker to the ground and punches her repeatedly in the face. Unbeknownst to Annie, the cameras are still rolling. Sister Sage watches the beating from the Vought conference room.]''
:'''Sister Sage''': How’s that for “uppity,” cracker?
:''[Cut to Annie getting held back by M.M.]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Stop. Look.
:''[Annie is horrified to see all the cameras on her and that many viewers saw the whole beating live and start posting about it on social media. Cut back to Sister Sage at Vought Tower.]''
:'''Sister Sage''': First pebble down the mountain.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''The Deep''': I don’t get you, dude. Like, at all. You start off, you’re a total bitch. And then you tell me I’m, like, a superior being–which of course I like–and that you’re down to pound, which obviously I will...
:'''Sister Sage''': I know. Most people, their brains grow till they’re about 25, then stop forever. Mine doesn’t. It regenerates, constantly. Stab me in the heart, I die. But stab me in the brain and the little fucking bitch grows back. ''[holds out scalpel]'' I want you to put this inside me.
:'''The Deep''': ''[chuckles]'' That’s the worst dildo I’ve ever seen, but–
:'''Sister Sage''': No, in my eye. Here.
:'''The Deep''': I am down for, like, a lot, but...
:'''Sister Sage''': It’s temporary. 
:'''The Deep''': Hmm? 
:'''Sister Sage''': You [[w:lobotomy|give me a frontal lobotomy]] and I don’t have to fucking be me for a couple hours.
:'''The Deep''': Uh, that’s just... fucking gross.
:'''Sister Sage''': I’ll let you ass-fuck me while we watch the Kim and Ray J video. 
:'''The Deep''': ''[takes scalpel from Sage]'' Okay, so where do you want me to put it? ''[points at her eye]'' Just right there? 
:'''Sister Sage''': Sit down. Now, avoid the eye itself. I don’t want to go blind.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': It’s funny. I–I remember it being so much bigger. You know why I used to call this the Bad Room?
:'''Barbara''': It was just a room, John. It’s neither good nor bad.
:'''Homelander''': That’s easy to say from the other side of the door. Now–
:'''Barbara''': Did you come back here just to torment those people? Doesn’t that feel a little… a little small? They were just following orders. Dr. Vogelbaum’s, Stan Edgar’s and mine.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, but they followed them. Not one of them had the backbone to stand up and say, “This is wrong.”
:'''Barbara''': ‘Cause they were scared.
:'''Homelander''': I was a child.
:'''Barbara''': They were scared! You know, I was there the day that you were born. They paid some poor runaway two grand to carry the embryo to term. But you lasered her guts open from the inside. You rose in the air with your umbilical cord still attached, like some creature out of myth… or nightmare. You killed three doctors and a nurse while you were at it. And then–just trust me–it was downhill from there. So, yeah. Yeah, everybody was terrified of you, from your first breath.
:'''Homelander''': But you weren’t? ''[chuckles]''
:'''Barbara''': We have no physical power over you. We never did. You could’ve broken out of here anytime you wanted. We couldn’t have stopped you. But you didn’t. ''[pause]'' Because you couldn’t stand the idea that we would be disappointed in you. Your need for approval and for love. Vought brought in the best psychologists in the world. They developed the protocol to carefully engineer that need so that you would be obedient. In many ways, that was our greatest success.
:'''Homelander''': I don’t need any of it anymore.
:'''Barbara''': Doesn’t matter what you do to me or the rest of the staff here. Your need for love is so deep. It's so human, you’ll never be able to overcome that.
:'''Homelander''': That’s where you’re wrong. I’m not human, and neither is my son. And I’m going to raise him so that he knows it. You know, I really do wanna share with you why I called this the Bad Room.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie meets with A-Train in a deserted alley to obtain the Compound V sample from him]''
:'''A-Train''': It’s bullshit, right? You’re not gonna forgive me. ''[pause; Hughie just stares at him]'' Yeah, thought so.
:'''Hughie''': Wait. You’re right. I–I was gonna tell you to go fuck yourself, but I changed my mind. We’re good.
:''[A-Train shakes Hughie's hand before running off]''
:'''Butcher''': You fuckin' dog wanker.
:''[Hughie is shocked when Butcher reveals himself]''
:'''Hughie''': Jesus. How long have you been standing there?
:'''Butcher''': Long enough. How could ya?
:'''Hughie''': I didn’t–I didn’t do it for him. I don’t wanna spend the rest of my life hating anybody.
:'''Butcher''': ''[looks at the Compound V]'' Whatcha gonna do with that, then?
:'''Hughie''': I mean–Look, you're probably the only guy that would understand, but I was gonna give it to my dad.
:'''Butcher''': ''[shakes his head]'' Oh, Hughie.
:'''Hughie''': Look, I know. I know it’s insane and terrible, but what other choice do I have?
:'''Butcher''': Any other fuckin' choice, you twat.
:'''Hughie''': You’re ''really'' telling me that you wouldn’t take some if you were in his shoes? ‘Cause you kind of are. There’s enough here. It’d save you, too. It’s gotta beat dying of brain cancer, right?
:'''Butcher''': I already took some. Nicked it outta Frenchie’s desk four months ago. Thought it might cure me.
:'''Hughie''': Jesus. Do you have powers?
:'''Butcher''': No. All it did was bring up the big day. I’m tellin' ya, quit while you’re behind. You’ll only make matters worse.

===''&quot;Beware the Jabberwock, My Son&quot;'' [4.05]===
:'''Butcher''': Fuck all this cloak and dagger shite. It’s bloody freezin' out here.
:'''Kessler''': Well, I mean, I was thinking we could meet in your mom’s pussy, but you know, I wanted someplace more private.
:'''Butcher''': ''[chuckles softly]'' So, what you thinkin'?
:'''Kessler''': Butcher, listen. How about we do this job, just you and me?
:'''Butcher''': I don’t know, Joe. It’s a bit all of a sudden, innit?
:'''Kessler''': Billy… your team is a joke. You think I haven’t noticed? M.M.’s on the verge of a breakdown, Frenchie’s a fucking junkie, Hughie is a gaping wet pussy. And the two Supes on your side? Man, for whatever reason, you have a blind spot for them.
:'''Butcher''': Alright, I’ll give you Starlight. But Kimiko’s a bloody good weapon, and the rest of them are still up to scratch.
:'''Kessler''': Well, I don’t get you. I don’t. Half your brain is a fucking tumor. This is your last shot at Homelander, and now you decide to go soft? Yeah, they are decent people. But you and me, we don’t belong with decent.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell, it’s like a morgue in here. What’s with all the long faces?
:'''Annie''': I don’t know, maybe because I’m getting blamed for the murder you did.
:'''Butcher''': I’d call you a cunt, but you ain’t got the depth or the warmth.
:'''Mother's Milk''': I’ve been meaning to ask you something. How was it that you took out Ezekiel?
:'''Butcher''': I have no idea.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Bullshit.
:'''Butcher''': God’s honest. I, uh… blacked out, came to, and there he was. All over the shop. But never mind that bollocks because, my son, I have found it… The answer to all our prayers.
:'''Mother's Milk''': And what might that be?
:'''Butcher''': Ah, it’s nothing much. Just a… a virus that kills Supes.
:'''Frenchie''': Such a thing does not exist.
:'''Butcher''': ''Did'' not exist. Does now. Y'see, some clever cunts over at Godolkin University cooked up a bug that latches onto the V in their bloodstream. Now, it’s completely harmless to humans, but to Supes? Fuckin' diabolical.
:'''Annie''': So, you shove this shit into me and Kimiko and we just… drop dead?
:'''Butcher''': Yep. That’s the idea. Now, it ain’t juiced enough to kill Homelander, but I reckon we get our hands on some and try it out on our lovely VP-elect.
:'''Mother's Milk''': And why the hell are we just finding out about this shit, Butcher?
:'''Butcher''': There’s only one small snag. When I went to God U to nick it, Neuman had pipped me to the post, so we’re gonna have to nick it from her.
:'''Annie''': This is insane and desperate. Even for you.
:'''Butcher''': Well, insanely desperate’s where we are, don’t you think, love?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Okay. Alright, alright. Time out. ''[to Annie]'' Look, if this virus is as dangerous as Butcher says it is, do you really want it in Neuman’s hands?
:'''Annie''': ''[pause; sighs]'' No, you’re right.
:'''Butcher''': Alright, then. Then, we’re sorted. Oh, uh… One other tiny little thing. I need you to get us one presidential pardon.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys investigate the lab in Stan Edgar's country mansion, where the Supe virus is being produced and tested on animals. Frenchie opens a fridge and notices an empty sample tray.]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': What’d you find?
:'''Frenchie''': It’s what I did not. See, the labels mark each iteration of this virus. Somebody’s been running tests, but now… it’s all gone.
:''[Frenchie is shocked to see M.M.'s nose bleeding profusely]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': What? ''[Frenchie, whose nose is also bleeding, points at M.M.'s nose]'' Holy shit.
:''[Butcher and Annie also feel their noses bleeding. Victoria Neuman and her bodyguard walk inside the lab.]''
:'''Annie''': Fucking bitch.
:''[Butcher, M.M. and Frenchie aim their guns at Neuman]''
:'''Neuman''': Easy.
:'''Edgar''': Victoria. You’re looking well.
:'''Neuman''': You think I wouldn’t know the minute you and your ankle monitor stepped out of that prison?
:'''Edgar''': I don’t recall giving you permission to turn my rec room into a virology lab.
:'''Neuman''': You brought these assholes here? They want to kill me.
:'''Edgar''': I’m sorry. Are you upset that I betrayed you?
:'''Butcher''': Oi, knock it off, you two. This ain’t ''Family Pies''.
:'''Neuman''': ''[to Butcher]'' You have five seconds to tell me what you did to Sameer, or I paint this fucking room red.
:'''Butcher''': Who the fuck’s Sameer?
:'''Edgar''': ''[to Annie as she makes the lights flicker]'' Enough. ''[to Neuman]'' So, you brought in Sameer. Smart. That’s what I’d have done. But whatever happened to him, it wasn’t us. We should find him together.
:'''Neuman''': You’re fucking kidding me.
:'''Edgar''': If I’m not mistaken, you hurt these people, they expose you as a super-abled killer, yes? Then I’m afraid that we are at a stalemate. You might as well use their expertise. At the very least, they’re effective [[w:cannon fodder|cannon fodder]].
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[sarcastically]'' Thanks. That's really nice of you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ryan''': So, you’re… you’re really not mad at me?
:'''Homelander''': No. I’m proud of you for speaking your mind. Ryan… ''[sighs]'' I’ve been manipulated by people my whole life. Being told what to say, where to stand. It–It’s like being a slave, only worse. I did some reflecting, and I realized that I’ve been doing the same thing to you. But no more. From now on, no more rules. For either of us. We are both emancipated from slavery. We’re free. Sound good?
:'''Ryan''': Yeah. ''[chuckles]''
:'''Homelander''': Yeah? Oh, buddy, I–I don’t care what anyone else thinks but you. Far as I’m concerned, this whole planet is empty. Except for you and me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''A-Train''': ''[approaches Ashley backstage during the V52 Expo; Ashley turns to look at him]'' No, keep your eyes forward. Don't let them see us talking.
:'''Ashley''': Who?
:'''A-Train''': Sage, Homelander, all of them.
:'''Ashley''': Oh, God, are you on meth?
:'''A-Train''': Remember when we said we'd help each other? The leak wasn't Anika; it was me.
:'''Ashley''': ''[in a panicked whisper]'' What the fuck? What the fuck, are you fucking suicidal?!
:'''A-Train''': ''[whispering to her]'' Shh... Just.. Just chill out, Ashley.
:'''Ashley''': Chill out? You just made me a fucking accomplice, you piece of shit. I took one shit in Homelander's toilet, I'm not joining the fucking [[w:Star Wars|Rebel Alliance.]] I need to tell him.
:'''A-Train''': Hey. You've done a lot more than just take a shit, and we both know that. We made a deal. So you either help me get Sage off my jock, or you go down with me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Neuman, Edgar and the Boys find Sameer hiding in a barn after they are attacked by mutated sheep. They also find the dead body of Sameer's lab assistant, Henry.]''
:'''Sameer Shah''': Zoe’s not here, is she? Because… ''[Neuman shakes her head]'' No?
:'''Neuman''': No, no. She’s okay. She’s okay.
:'''Sameer''': Okay, good.
:'''Annie''': Wait... Oh, my God, is that Zoe’s dad?
:'''Edgar''': Dr. Shah was my top man at Vought R&amp;D before he went behind my back and deflowered my daughter.
:'''Neuman''': Okay, I was twenty–''thoroughly'' deflowered–and this isn’t the time or the place. ''[to Sameer]'' What happened?
:'''Sameer''': We gave V to a hamster, so we could test the virus on it.
:'''Frenchie''': Oh, a V’d-up hamster was your first mistake, ''mon ami.''
:'''Sameer''': It got loose. Trashed the lab. We ran, but the V had already leaked into the groundwater.
:'''Neuman''': Is the virus gone?
:'''Sameer''': …Yes.
:'''Neuman''': Fuck.
:'''Sameer''': Except for, uh… ''[holds up a syringe filled with the virus]'' Except for one dose.
:'''Neuman''': Okay.
:''[Butcher anxiously stares at the syringe]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hey, how transmissible is that?
:'''Sameer''': Not very. Only through [[w:Body fluid|bodily fluid]]. [[w:blood|Blood]], [[w:saliva|saliva]]... [[w:semen|semen]].
:'''Mother's Milk''': Okay, so we inject it into ''[motions at Henry's body]'' your dead buddy over here as bait, and then we put him outside to infect the crazy fucking flying sheep!
:'''Frenchie''': This man is in no condition to fuck a sheep.
:'''Edgar''': They would ''eat'' him.
:'''Frenchie''': Oh...
:'''Butcher''': Bollocks. That’s the only dose. I say we fuckin' leg it!
:'''Neuman''': Butcher’s right, it’s too valuable.
:'''Annie''': Okay, we run, we don’t all make it.
:'''Butcher''': Darwinism, love. Don’t gotta be the fastest, just not the slowest.
:'''Annie''': No fucking way!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Enough. Not now.
:'''Edgar''': ''[to Neuman]'' I won’t be able to outrun them.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, don’t you cry for that cunt! He’s just tryin' to nick Zoe from you. That’s his whole fuckin' plan, innit?
:'''Edgar''': He’s lying.
:'''Butcher''': Sorry, Stanny. Just business.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Guys, stop.
:'''Edgar''': Son of a bitch.
:'''Neuman''': I should’ve fucking known.
:'''Annie''': M.M. could die, okay?! Or Frenchie! I mean, you really don’t care who you just throw to the wolves?
:'''Butcher''': No, not really.
:'''Annie''': You’re a monster, and I’m not letting you do this.
:'''Butcher''': Or what? You gonna go stark ravin' like you did with Firecracker? I got the head popper and you can’t even get it up!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Enough! Enough! Look, look! ''[rolls up jacket sleeve]'' Y’all see this? Hives. And I got 'em because y’all motherfuckers are driving me ''the fuck'' crazy! Now, Annie, you can’t just go around fuckin' everybody up. And Neuman, do you really wanna risk Zoe growing up in a group home the way you did? ''[to Butcher]'' And you… Look. My little baby girl needs me, and I intend on seeing her. You’re not a monster, Butcher. You are a motherfucker, but you a motherfucker with a heart.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie and Daphne find his dad, Hugh Sr, after he becomes amnesiac from being injected with Compound V and accidentally kills several hospital patients]''
:'''Hugh''': You… you left me. You left our little boy.
:'''Hughie''': Dad–
:'''Hugh''': ''[tearfully]'' You broke our hearts.
:'''Hughie''': Dad, stop.
:'''Daphne''': Hugh, please. Hugh… Hugh, please. Please, Hugh!
:'''Hughie''': I'm Hughie, Dad. I'm the one you took to the Vought Store to buy the Tek Knight doll. Remember, I was–I was short eight bucks, even though I saved for weeks. And you said, &quot;Anything for your number one hero.&quot; But that's the thing, Dad. He–He never was. You are. You're my hero. And that's why I–I needed you to wake up, so that I could say it, and I–and I know that you heard it. You're my hero, Dad.
:'''Hugh''': ''[beat]'' Hughie?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. Yeah, Dad, it’s me. It’s me. It’s Hughie.
:'''Hugh''': Wh–Where are we?
:''[Hugh is shocked when he looks down at his blood-soaked hospital gown]''
:'''Hugh''': Oh–Oh, God, wha… ''[tearfully]'' Oh, God. Wh–Why am I… I–I don’t know what’s going on.
:'''Hughie''': It’s–It’s a long story, but…
:'''Hugh''': No! No!
:'''Hughie''': Dad? Dad, it’s Hughie. It’s Hughie, remember?
:'''Hugh''': I know. I–I know. I just, I–I don’t… There’s–There’s something wrong with me. I–I can’t stop it. ''[crying]'' I don’t know what to do.
:'''Hughie''': That’s okay. I think I do.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher and Kessler drive out to a deserted farm shed, where they have imprisoned Sameer while the rest of the Boys were escaping the Supe sheep. Sameer is chained up and missing his right leg.]''
:'''Kessler''': ''[chuckles]'' Now, see? That is classic Butcher.
:'''Sameer''': You get away from me! Get away from me!
:'''Butcher''': Alright, take it easy. I ain’t gonna hurt ya. Well, not no more. It was just enough to convince people.
:'''Sameer''': You chopped off my ''fucking leg!''
:'''Butcher''': Yes, I did. I ain’t gonna sugarcoat it. Your football days are over, but don’t you worry. We’ll patch you up right as rain, and you’ll be back to work in no time.
:'''Sameer''': Work? What work?
:'''Butcher''': Well, what the fuck do you think? You’re gonna make us some more of that virus.

===''&quot;Dirty Business&quot;'' [4.06]===
:''[A-Train calls M.M. to inform him about The Seven's murder of Cameron Coleman]''
:'''A-Train''': Hey, this is so fucked!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. Where are you?
:'''A-Train''': Toronto, so we could talk. They killed Cameron Coleman because they thought that he was the fucking leak!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Oh, shit.
:'''A-Train''': Listen, I can’t do this shit anymore, man. I’m done!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Alright, no one ever said this would be easy. Think about your brother, your nephews. They’d be so proud of you, man.
:'''A-Train''': Who cares what my family thinks if I’m already fuckin' dead?!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Calm down. Now walk me through everything, and let’s process this shit together, alright?
:''[Cut to M.M. talking to Hughie and Annie]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': This is ''so'' fucked! So before Cameron got beaten to death, Homelander was seen putting Supes together like a…
:'''Annie''': An army?
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[nods]'' Mm-hmm. And then A-Train saw Tek Knight talking to Sage. Looked like they were planning something.
:'''Hughie''': You–You wanna talk to Tek Knight?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Now, he’s having a Federalist Society party tonight at his estate.
:'''Annie''': I cannot believe that this is about to come out of my mouth, but… we could use Butcher.
:'''Hughie''': Have you heard from him?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Motherfucker’s MIA.
:'''Annie''': ''[to Hughie]'' Hey… Maybe you should sit this out, you know? You’ve just been through so much with your dad–
:'''Hughie''': I’m fine. Focusing on work is exactly what I need to do right now, okay? Just trust me.
:'''Annie''': Okay.
:'''Hughie''': Okay. So, how are we supposed to sneak into an alt-right cocktail party?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Thought you’d never ask. ''[holds up a Vought record file on…]'' 
:'''Annie''': Webweaver?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mother's Milk''': Come on out, kid.
:'''Hughie''': You guys are gonna laugh.
:'''Annie''': No one is gonna laugh.
:''[Hughie sighs heavily and walks out wearing Webweaver's supersuit. M.M, Annie, and Kimiko are unable to contain their laughter.]''
:'''Hughie''': Guys, come on. You–You promised!
:'''Kimiko''': ''[texting to Hughie]'' You're like a Times Square Elmo.
:'''Annie''': ''[laughing]'' Oh, my God.
:'''Hughie''': Okay, you know what? ''[removes mask]'' Fuck you guys.
:'''Annie''': ''[coughs]'' How did a junkie like Webweaver score an invite to this anyway?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Don’t know, but A-Train said he’s on the list.
:'''Hughie''': God, why does he wear it so tight? ''[sniffs]'' Smells like ass sweat and broken dreams in here.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Good. It’ll hide your scent from Tek Knight. You don’t wanna give him any tells.
:'''Annie''': Wait, Tek Knight has super smell?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Yeah. Smell, vision, taste, touch. He’s like Sherlock Holmes on meth.
:'''Annie''': I don’t like this. He’s gonna make Hughie–
:'''Mother's Milk''': How else are we gonna find out what Sage is cooking? ''[to Hughie]'' Just gotta work fast, kid. Take these bugs, put ’em all over the party, and lure Tek Knight back here as soon as you can.
:'''Hughie''': Okay.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We’ll take care of the rest.
:'''Annie''': Oh, God. Okay, comm check-ins every two minutes. Just say something, okay? Anything.
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. Copy.
:'''Mother's Milk''': In Webweaver’s voice, motherfucker.
:'''Hughie''': Uh… Copy, dawg.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Sister Sage''': ''[to Neuman]'' What happened to you? You look like you got ass-fucked by the business end of a hammer.
:'''Neuman''': Well, maybe I don’t wanna be at this CPAC nightmare any more than they want me here.
:'''Homelander''': There’s gonna be a little sidebar later on. One percent of the one percent. Sage here is gonna lube them up with cognac and Montecristos, and then convince them to commit a little high treason.
:'''Neuman''': I’m sorry, what the fuck? Why would I expose myself like that?
:'''Sister Sage''': Because in this room is 38% of the U.S. GDP. And if we have a shot in hell of pulling off the 25th Amendment, we need them.
:'''Homelander''': Do you want to be ''el jefe'' or not?
:'''Sister Sage''': Good. Now, you’re the virgin at prom. Go get finger-popped.
:''[...]''
:'''Neuman''': ''[to Sage]'' I just had abortion mansplained to me by a guy who refuses to be alone with any woman who isn’t his wife… or mistress. I don’t know. I mean, cozying up to these people, you’re fucking asking me to do the impossible here.
:'''Sister Sage''': ''[beat]'' When I was eleven, my grandma was diagnosed with Stage 3 chronic lymphocytic leukemia. God… She had the biggest laugh, but she got so small so fast. She was bed-ridden. The doctors didn’t care about saving some old ex-Black Panther, and they told my parents there was nothing to be done. I stayed up the next three nights and discovered a cure. I presented my research to those satisfied fat crackers, they patted me on the head, said I was adorable and laughed at me. Grandma died screaming in pain. ''[pause; takes two tequila shots from a server]'' I could cure cancer, reverse global warming, but what’s the point? Humans are animals. And the lines at Voughtland are too long as it is. ''[downs tequila shot]''
:'''Neuman''': Why are you telling me this?
:'''Sister Sage''': Because you remember what it’s like being a little girl who no one fucking listens to. And because ''fuck them all.'' The only way women like us have ever gotten what we deserved… one hand in their pockets while the other slits their fucking throats. Now… You in or out?
:''[Neuman thinks for a moment, then downs the tequila shot Sage gave her]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Tek Knight has taken Hughie to his underground sex dungeon]''
:'''Hughie''': Hey, so, did I get the gig? ''[winces as Tek Knight caresses him]'' Dammit.
:'''Tek Knight''': Just one last thing. What’s your safe word?
:'''Hughie''': ''[groans]'' You know… I’m actually–I’m probably gonna save that for something I–I really can’t handle, but yeah, I’m good.
:'''Tek Knight''': ''[pause; sees Hughie's fist shaking]'' You’re trembling.
:'''Hughie''': Mm-mm.
:'''Tek Knight''': Your body’s riddled by horripilation. Come on. It’s the thing that you love the most. ''[pause]'' Say it.
:'''Hughie''': …Lube?
:''[Tek Knight removes Webweaver's mask from Hughie' face]''
:'''Tek Knight''': I know you. You’re Hughie Campbell.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck!
:'''Tek Knight''': This is actually great news. Not only am I gonna get points for catching you, but before I let the big guy know that you’re down here…
:''[Tek Knight opens a safe and takes out a tray with several sharp instruments]''
:'''Hughie''': Wait, wait! Wait a minute! ''[stutters]'' Wait a minute, um… You were–Hey, you were my favorite hero as a kid, okay? You don’t wanna do this.
:'''Tek Knight''': Everybody always has the same holes. Over and over again, it gets so fucking boring.
:'''Hughie''': Please! I looked up to you!
:'''Tek Knight''': Sometimes, you just gotta make your own... ''[picks up a knife]'' And then fuck them.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Deep walks into the Vought boardroom and sees Black Noir II drinking [[w:sake|sake]] with his feet up on table]''
:'''The Deep''': Are you fucking nuts?! Put your mask back on! G–Get out of his chair! What are you doing?!
:'''Black Noir II''': You know what’s funny? I hate sake. But I’m supposed to follow some stupid black ninja bullshit, which makes no goddamn sense, by the way. You ever meet a black ninja?
:'''The Deep''': Lower your voice. 
:'''Black Noir II''': There’s nobody here. They left us like babies so they could go do important stuff. We don’t matter.
:'''The Deep''': Hey, speak for yourself. I’m doing a ton of important shit.
:'''Black Noir II''': Yeah? Like what?
:'''The Deep''': Need-to-know, bro. Need-to-fucking-know.
:'''Black Noir II''': ''[gets up and walks]'' Fuck it. I’m done with all this shit.
:'''The Deep''': You’re quitting?! What are you gonna do?! Seven’s the biggest gig there is!
:'''Black Noir II''':  Look, I don’t understand Noir, okay? You know there was nothing in his closet but literally like seven file boxes of shitty Buster Beaver drawings? Why’d he have that?
:'''The Deep''': Who the fuck knows or cares?
:'''Black Noir II''': ''[sighs]'' I’m going to [[w:Missouri|Missouri]] tomorrow. I booked Cirque de Vought’s new show, VIVANT! Music of [[w:Bee Gees|the Bee Gees]]. Three nights a week in [[w:Branson, Missouri|Branson]]. They’re gonna let me fly. I can fly, did you know that?
:'''The Deep''': Yeah, dude, we all know that. ''[walks up]'' Look, why didn’t you just come to me?
:'''Black Noir II''': About what?
:'''The Deep''': Seriously, dude? ''[sighs]'' Man, me and the old Noir? We were like great bros, like real bros. ''[sighs; takes sake bottle]'' Give me this. ''[Black Noir II sits back down]'' Few years ago, Noir cleared out an entire [[w:Indonesia|Indonesian fishing village]]. Vought Fresh Farms was expanding their [[w:palm oil|palm oil plantation]], but the locals were bitching ’cause they needed the river to survive or whatever the fuck. Noir “cancelled” two dozen of ’em. Came back with a raging hard-on for a week. ''[Black Noir II chuckles]'' No, dude, see, what you’re not getting is how horny killing made the old Noir. That was his whole thing.
:'''Black Noir II''': But I don’t really like violence.
:'''The Deep''': ''[sighs]'' Look, I know this is hard to imagine, but... some people laugh at me. ''[chuckles]'' It’s crazy, right?
:'''Black Noir II''': Yeah.
:'''The Deep''': But you know what I realized? When I crush someone’s nose into the back of their skull or beat ’em so bad that they’ll never walk again? ''[chuckles]'' They’re not laughing anymore. They show respect. Violence is power. 
:'''Black Noir II''': I’m starting to get why it gave Noir [[w:erection|so much chub]].

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Sister Sage regains consciousness after getting shot by M.M. and has a napkin pressed against her bullet wound. Homelander confronts her over her absence from the party.]''
:'''Homelander''': What is going on? Hmm? Tek Knight, A-Train, Firecracker, they’re all M.I.A., and where the fuck have you been?
:'''Sister Sage''': I once ate a whole bag of [[w:candy corn|candy corns]].
:'''Homelander''': …What?
:'''Sister Sage''': In my mouth! ''[giggling]'' I ate them!
:'''Homelander''': Sage, what the fuck… ''[notices the bullet hole in her temple]'' What happened to you?
:'''Sister Sage''': Brain damage. But now, I could really go for a [[w:Crunchwrap Supreme|Crunchwrap Supreme]] and a [[w:Sybian|Sybian]].
:'''Homelander''': Hey. Hey, look at me. Get a grip on yourself right now. Get a fucking grip. Right now.
:''[Sage pouts childishly at Homelander and sits down]''
:'''Neuman''': ''[mouthing to Homelander]'' What the fuck?
:''[Homelander looks at Sage, who whimpers in pain as she presses the napkin to her temple again. He decides to give the speech that she was supposed to give to Tek Knight's party guests.]''
:'''Homelander''': Fuck it. Fuck it, I'll do it myself. ''[to the party guests]'' Folks, thank you for coming. I’m sure you’re wondering why we pulled you aside, so let’s get right to it. ''[sighs]'' I think we can all agree that Robert Singer is the greatest threat this nation has ever faced. He is going to destroy this whole country. You all met Ryan, my son. For his sake, I cannot and I will not let that stand.
:'''Calhoun''': ''[gestures to Neuman]'' Does she agree?
:'''Homelander''': Of course. Especially her. She’s not just eye candy. ''[walks over to her and places hand on her shoulder]'' No, no. Victoria here, she’s an integral part of the plan. She sees up close what a doddering slave to the woke mob Singer really is. How great the threat really is. So once he’s in office, we need to act. We need to invoke the 25th Amendment.
:'''Calhoun''': You’re–You’re talking about a coup.
:'''Homelander''': No, I’m not. I’m talking about saving this country before Singer replaces us with a bunch of transgender illegals that will do everything…
:'''Legal Conservation Woman''': Save the boogeyman shit for the idiots watching VNN. How do you propose to handle the Justice Department?
:'''Homelander''': Well, they will all… be our appointees. Obviously.
:'''Calhoun''': And the military’s reaction?
:'''Oil &amp; Gas Billionaire''': Or [[w:OPEC|OPEC]]. How are you gonna guarantee our oil reserves?
:'''Homelander''': Of course there’s gonna be some birth pangs…
:'''Male Senator #1''': The shock to the markets would be total.
:'''Male Senator #2''': And what happens if civil servants resign en masse?
:'''Calhoun''': With all due respect, sir, I think you got a little hitch in your giddy-up. Who’s handling all this?
:'''Homelander''': ''[stammers]'' Great question. This is great. Great questions. Truly. And um… Sage. Sage… ''[pause; deflates when he sees Sage shoving cake in her face]'' has the details.
:'''Sister Sage''': Mmm.
:'''Neuman''': ''[beat; gets up from chair]'' Who’s handling all this? Me. I fucking am. Look, I’m sure you’re all wondering why I’m here tonight, instead of rimming out [[w:Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez|AOC]], while shouting, [[w:George Floyd protests|&quot;defund the police&quot;]], up her asshole. ''[chuckles]'' But I’m here tonight to tell you the truth. The truth is America is not a democracy. The word “democracy” makes people feel safe. But the founders never trusted the masses because the truth is, the masses are fucking stupid. Anyone who owns a “Live, Laugh, Love” mug shouldn’t have a say in how a country is run. People are a labor force that need a kind, but firm hand. There are no nations. There’s [[w:Apple, Inc.|Apple]], [[w:Exxon|Exxon]] and [[w:Berkshire Hathaway|Berkshire Hathaway]]. Corporations are the real superpowers here. You should be able to operate without any regulation or restriction whatsoever. After all, you’re billionaires. You are smart enough to know what’s best. Bottom line? You support me, and that is what you’ll fucking get.
:'''Oil &amp; Gas Billionaire''': ''[pause; raises glass in toast]'' Hear, hear.
:'''Party Guests''': Hear, hear.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Where were you last night?
:'''Firecracker''': Starlight was at the mansion.
:'''Homelander''': What?
:'''Firecracker''': I chased her outside, but the bitch got away.
:'''Homelander''': She did?
:'''Firecracker''': Tek Knight’s dead. Probably Starlight and her friends did it. ''[Homelander scoffs]'' How do you think they knew about the party?
:'''Homelander''': Cameron Coleman wasn’t the leak.
:'''Firecracker''': So either Sage was lyin’ to you, or she’s as useless as tits on a mouse. I mean, fuck. I heard about her performance last night, sir. I just want you to know that I would–
:'''Homelander''': So… You’re the one who let Starlight get away. So how do I know that you’re not the leak?
:'''Firecracker''': When you found me… my podcast had… I dunno, a couple hundred fans. ''[chuckles]'' You know, folks laughed. Now, I’m the fucking anchor at VNN with millions of followers. And they ain’t laughin’ no more.
:'''Homelander''': I really don’t care–
:'''Firecracker''': Please, just let me finish! Now, I have spent… my whole life on the outside, lookin' in. It was you… who threw that door open for me, sir. You brought me in. God, you have given me… everything. You… are ''everything'' to me.
:''[Firecracker unzips her top, exposing her breasts to Homelander]''
:'''Homelander''': Uh… What are you doing? I am not sexually attracted to you.
:'''Firecracker''': No, this ain’t about sex. No, this? This is about loyalty.
:''[Homelander recoils when Firecracker squirts breast milk on his face]''
:'''Homelander''': But you’re not pregnant.
:'''Firecracker''': There’s a… long regimen of drugs a person can take to make it happen. It enlarges the heart just a tiny little bit.
:'''Homelander''': You did this for me?
:'''Firecracker''': I’d do anything for you. Anything.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher wheels in a cart full of chemistry equipment into the warehouse lab where Sameer is tied to a pole]''
:'''Kessler''': Well, looky here. Christmas came early, Sameer.
:'''Butcher''': Nicked it off a French bloke. Should be enough to get you started.
:'''Sameer''': ''[coughs]'' I won’t do it.
:'''Kessler''': The fuck you won’t.
:'''Sameer''': Do what you want to me, but I can't–I can’t do this for you.
:'''Butcher''': Listen. One dose strong enough to top Homelander. And then, you can go back to what’s-her-name, and you don’t gotta see me no more. But this first.
:'''Sameer''': You don’t understand. I can’t. It’s what we realized in the lab. To make the virus strong enough to kill Homelander would evolve it into something unstable.
:'''Butcher''': What d'you mean, unstable?
:'''Sameer''': Airborne, highly contagious, super lethal. No one with Compound V in their bloodstream would be safe.
:'''Kessler''': A global fucking pandemic.
:'''Sameer''': We’re not just talking about killing Homelander. We’re talking about killing every Supe on Earth.
:'''Becca''': ''[appearing behind Butcher]'' That’s Annie, Kimiko…
:'''Butcher''': Ryan.
:'''Sameer''': Vicky, Zoe. ''[shakes his head]'' I’m sorry. But when they say shit’s fallen into the wrong hands… they mean your hands.
:'''Kessler''': This is beyond our wildest dreams, man. Dude just gave us the silver bullet. We can wipe them all out.
:'''Becca''': Billy, you cannot go along with this.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, mate. No one ever said nothing about genocide.
:'''Kessler''': Is that a fucking joke?
:'''Becca''': He’s insane.
:'''Kessler''': Who was it that said, “They all gotta go? Every fucking last one of ’em?”
:'''Becca''': He’s talking about murder, Billy. Of ''thousands.''
:'''Kessler''': Think how much better the world would be.
:'''Becca''': And a lot of them are innocent, okay? I know you–
:'''Kessler''': ''Shut your fucking cake hole, bitch!''
:'''Butcher''': ''[pause]'' Wait a minute… ''[stammers]'' You can see her?
:''[Kessler is revealed to be a figment of Butcher's imagination, just like Becca. Sameer watches Butcher talking to himself.]''
:'''Butcher''': …What the fuck’s that supposed to mean? You’re me?
:'''Kessler''': I mean, out of all the fucking people that your festering fucked-up brain could’ve conjured up, you picked me. The real Joe Kessler? He’s dead in the [[w:Panjshir Valley|Panjshir Valley]], motherfucker. You never dragged me out. You left me to die.
:''[Butcher thinks back to his earlier encounters with Kessler. He slowly puts it together in his head that Kessler was never there and he was talking to nobody the entire time. He also realizes that he actually murdered Ezekiel.]''
:'''Butcher''': No. No, I’d remember that. I’d fuckin' remember that.
:'''Kessler''': Unless of course you’ve got a big old, fat, V’d-up brain tumor, you cunt. Which is why you're seeing me in the first place. ''[pause; Butcher looks at Becca]'' I killed Ezekiel for you. I am inside of you. I am you… which is why when I tell you you wanna do this, ''I am literally telling you that '''you fucking wanna do this'''''. So don’t you worry, Billy, my boy. ''[smiles]'' Daddy’s home.

===''&quot;The Insider&quot;'' [4.07]===
:'''Homelander''': Sage… who’s the leak?
:'''Sister Sage''': We’re making inquiries. It’s a process, we’re eliminating–
:'''Homelander''': ''[smashes listening device with his fist]'' I assume you know what that is.
:'''Sister Sage''': It’s a bug. 
:'''Homelander''': Specifically William Butcher’s bug. They probably heard every single word we said at Tek Knight’s. And likely killed him.
:'''Sister Sage''': They won’t go public with the information.
:'''Homelander''': And why not?
:'''Sister Sage''': Because it would short-circuit everything they really want, which is to quietly take out Neuman once and for all.
:'''Homelander''': ''[groans]'' We should slaughter Butcher and his whole fucking team.
:'''Firecracker''': Now that is a great idea, sir.
:'''Sister Sage''': Butcher will be dead in a few months anyway. And this close to go-time, I wouldn’t stir up shit with the CIA.
:'''Homelander''': Yes, yes, yes. Your illustrious fucking plan. We killed Cameron Coleman for no reason.
:'''Sister Sage''': A speed bump, but ultimately harmless.
:'''Firecracker''': Cameron golfed with Mike Lindell, who just pulled fifty million bucks worth of pillow commercials. You call that harmless?
:'''Sister Sage''': Oh, look at Daisy Duck Dynasty doing math.
:'''Homelander''': You know, Firecracker and I have been talking.
:'''Sister Sage''': Stimulating, I’m sure. ''[pause; Homelander glares at her]'' Sorry.
:'''Homelander''': You have brains, Sage, but I have wisdom. And what happens if those brains of yours get blown out again, leaving you talking like a gibbering idiot? ''[pause]'' Firecracker and I will find the leak.
:'''Sister Sage''': With respect, the last time–
:'''Firecracker''': Respect? I don’t hear no fuckin' respect. In fact, I am personally offended by the way you are talking to this great man!
:'''Homelander''': You just focus on the shooter, make sure he’s good to go on the 6th.
:'''Sister Sage''': He’ll be ready.
:'''Homelander''': Good. You may leave.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys are discussing A-Train's latest information on Sage when Butcher walks into the office]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Where the fuck you been?
:'''Butcher''': ''[coughs]'' Shittin’ a kidney. Alright, listen up. Now, don’t get your knickers in a twist, but… 
:''[Kessler appears at Butcher's side]''
:'''Butcher''': You remember Neuman’s dearly departed virus bloke, Dr. Sameer Shah?
:'''Kessler''': I’m serious, Butcher. Don’t.
:'''Butcher''': Well, funny story. Turns out he ain’t that dead. He’s been workin' for me, makin' some more of that virus.
:'''Mother's Milk''': What the fuck?
:'''Hughie''': Wait, all they found was…
:'''Kessler''': Goddamn it, you asshole.
:'''Hughie''': Did you cut off his leg?!
:'''Butcher''': Alright, alright. Keep your hair on.
:'''Mother's Milk''': So, basically, you’ve been amputatin’ motherfuckers while working on a secret bioweapon, and ''we’re'' the ones that are supposed to chill?
:'''Kessler''': You are pissing away our best shot.
:'''Butcher''': Now, the trouble is, we’ve hit a slight snag. He can’t make it deadly enough to top Homelander without causin' a global pandemic.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Jesus.
:'''Annie''': Wait… Genocide. You’re talking about Supe genocide. That’s…
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, Butcher, even for you this is…
:'''Butcher''': Which is why I’m fuckin' tellin' you, innit? You think I want that much blood on me hands?
:'''Kessler''': Yeah, you do. You wanna fuckin' swim in it.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Kessler]'' No, I don’t! ''[pause; to the Boys]'' No, I do not. So to keep the bug from burnin' through you lot like wildfire, I thought ol’ Sameer could do with a bit of a hand.
:'''Hughie''': From who?
:'''Butcher''': A question both insightful and germane, my son. ''[pause; turns around]'' Ah, here he is. Speak of the devil.
:''[The Boys are in shock when they see Frenchie, who Butcher bailed out of jail, walk inside]''
:'''Frenchie''': ''Bonjour.''
:'''Mother's Milk''': How the fuck did you get out?
:'''Butcher''': I had Mallory pull a few strings.
:'''Frenchie''': Just to be clear, this was against my will. I’d rather fuck a jar of fishing lures than to be free.
:'''Hughie''': Oh, cool. Cool.
:'''Butcher''': Alright, then. Happy reunions. So, Frenchie will help sort the virus. We’ll use it on Homelander and the VP, and that’s it. No one else.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mother's Milk''': Listen… You should go on ahead.
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, what?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Without me. I gotta talk to Monique. It’s–
:'''Butcher''': Oh, come off it. Don’t leave me alone with this lot.
:'''Annie''': Wait, what?
:'''Butcher''': He ain’t goin'.
:'''Hughie''': ''[to M.M.]'' You’re not going? Why?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Alright, so we gonna make this official? ''[to Butcher]'' Take a knee, I’ll knight you with my dick. You’re back in charge of The Boys again, alright? I’m better off doing research anyway.
:'''Annie''': No, you can’t do this.
:'''Butcher''': You don’t gotta do this.
:'''Kessler''': Yeah, he does. This is good for us.
:'''Annie''': You can’t. Things are bad already without this fucking asshole back.
:'''Butcher''': Look what I gotta deal with.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Listen, it ain’t a debate, you guys. I passed out ''during a mission.'' I ain’t cut out to be a skipper… but he is. So, it’s him. ''[to Butcher]'' It’s you. End of story.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[M.M. is packing a suitcase at his apartment when A-Train suddenly shows up and takes his boarding pass]''
:'''A-Train''': Printed-out boarding pass? Damn. What are you, 87?
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck are you doing here?
:'''A-Train''': You took the words right outta my mouth. See, I ran by that shithole earlier. I saw Butcher, Hughie and Starlight going in. But one motherfucker was conspicuously absent. ''[pause; M.M. takes the boarding pass from A-Train]'' So… this is it? You think I don’t wanna just peace out to Belize, sip a daiquiri, smash the local talent?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Get on Priceline then, motherfucker.
:'''A-Train''': Hey. This shit ain’t over.
:'''Mother's Milk''': It’s over for me. I’ve given enough. Maybe I deserve to be fucking happy.
:'''A-Train''': You know, when I carried your ass to the ER, there was a kid there. His eyes were like… “Holy shit.” Looking at me… like I was a hero. There were no screaming fans, no cameras. Nobody even knew… except for this one kid. That felt better than anything that I’d ''ever'' done at Vought. Because for ''once''… I didn’t hate myself. ''[pause]'' That’s on you.
:'''Mother's Milk''': A-Train, you don’t get it, do you, man? This fight that we’re in? This ''never fucking ends''. It killed my father. It killed his father, and look at what it’s doing to me. It’s tearing me the fuck apart. Just like it did them. You know, I look in the mirror… and I don’t even see myself no more. I got nothing left except my family.
:'''A-Train''': You think Homelander and Vought… and all of this shit ain’t coming to Belize? This whole fucking world? Where’s your family gonna go then?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Neuman''': Fuck, I’m gonna miss New York bodegas.
:'''Hughie''': Listen, we need to talk. You can still stop all this, alright? Just stop.
:'''Neuman''': You must be pretty desperate if you’re throwing a Hail Mary like this. Jesus.
:'''Hughie''': Five minutes, alright? Just five minutes where we cut the bullshit and we talk–just you and me–about how fucked all this is!
:'''Neuman''': What it is, is politics. You know how it goes, strange bedfellows.
:'''Hughie''': Yeah, but it’s not like you’re palling around with Mitt Romney! You’re working with Homelander! He’s gonna kill the President. That sounds ''fucking insane'' coming out of my mouth! ''[pause; Neuman just shrugs]'' Wow. When Homelander chucks all the Starlighters into internment camps, you’re just–You’re cool with that, too? ''[pause]'' You didn’t know about the camps. Why do you think that you were at Tek Knight’s? That’s what his prisons are for.
:'''Neuman''': I gotta get back to it.
:'''Hughie''': I still have all the dirt on you. What you said at Tek Knight’s. Everything.
:'''Neuman''': Is that a threat?
:'''Hughie''': No. Because when we drop it, then you’ll kill us all. Like you said, mutually assured destruction. But it doesn’t have to be that way. And if you’re even, like, one percent of the person that I knew, then I don’t think you really wanna do this. You can still step back. Vic, it’s not too late.
:'''Neuman''': ''[beat]'' Thanks for coming by. ''[pause; Hughie starts walking out]'' I’m sorry… to hear about your dad.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Firecracker''': Homelander… Are you alright?
:'''Homelander''': ''[tearfully]'' A-Train?
:'''Firecracker''': I’m so…
:'''Homelander''': How could he do this to me?
:'''Firecracker''': I’m so sorry. You know, some folks are just… Well, they’re born uppity.
:'''Homelander''': Where is he?
:'''Firecracker''': He cut out his tracking chip. And his family’s gone, too.
:'''Homelander''': …Of course.
:''[Sister Sage enters the conference room]''
:'''Sister Sage''': You sent Deep and Noir after Butcher? We talked about this.
:'''Homelander''': Smartest person in the world, and you didn’t know A-Train was the leak?
:'''Sister Sage''': …I knew.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You knew.
:'''Firecracker''': And you let us kill Webweaver for nothing.
:'''Sister Sage''': Oh, shit. You killed Webweaver? Did you think he was the leak? He was a junkie who’d confess to nailing Christ on the cross if it got him home for his next fix.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' I was very clear. No more secrets.
:'''Sister Sage''': But A-Train only leaked exactly the information I wanted Butcher and his team to know. He was the perfect misinformation delivery system. Until now. This was all part of the plan.
:'''Homelander''': Mm-hmm. Okay. Get the fuck out of here. You’re done. Go back to your little litter box in Detroit and die alone.
:'''Sister Sage''': ''[stammers]'' You promised. You promised me you would listen to me.
:'''Homelander''': You’re lucky I’m not sending you home in a bucket. ''[beat]'' '''Go.'''
:'''Sister Sage''': Fine. ''[looks at Firecracker]'' Surround yourself with people like her. Then, you can systematically eliminate anyone who gets in your way. But there’s one person you will never, ever defeat. Good luck without me.
:''[Sage leaves a Queen Maeve notebook on the conference room table on her way out]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''The Deep''': Bro?
:'''Black Noir II''': Bro! Bro?
:'''The Deep''': Bro... Bro!
:'''Black Noir II''': Bro.
:''[The Deep runs into Sister Sage while in the hallway with Black Noir II]''
:'''The Deep''': Hey, you. Hey, so we’ve had a day. ''[Sage ignores hims and keeps walking]'' Wait, what’s the rush?
:'''Sister Sage''': Homelander. He fired me.
:'''Black Noir II''': Wait, but you can’t leave. I love you. We have something special, don’t we?
:'''The Deep''': Wait, is she lobotomizing herself to fuck you, too?
:'''Black Noir II''': What do you mean, “lobotomizing herself”?
:''[Sage angrily walks off]''
:'''The Deep''': …Bro.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ryan''': Stop, stop, stop! This song isn't cool. Well, honestly, none of this is cool.
:'''Ashley''': Go to fucking commercial!
:'''Ryan''': No, don't go to commercial. Keep rolling, please. Your family isn’t your enemy. Your family is all you’ve got. ''[pause]'' I’ve been thinking about my mom a lot lately. She died. But she loved Christmas… and s’mores with Reese’s. And ''Terms of Endearment''… and she loved her husband, Billy, but she wouldn’t love this. She wouldn’t want me doing it. My mom always told me to tell the truth, which is why… I’m sorry.
:''[Cut to Butcher watching Ryan on TV at a bar]''
:'''Butcher''': And that… is why I got faith in the kid, ''[points at Ryan on the TV]'' you little fuckin' beauty. ''[downs bourbon shot]''

===''&quot;Season Four Finale / Assassination Run&quot;'' [4.08]===
:''[Butcher is recovering in the hospital and sees Kessler standing by his bedside]''
:'''Kessler''': You know, if you need any help…
:'''Butcher''': I don’t need your help.
:'''Kessler''': Really? Seems to me you're shitting in a bedpan and days away from being planted. And what do you have to show for it? I mean, Singer–He’s as good as dead. Homelander, he won. And you… you gave away the virus–the one fuckin' weapon that could’ve stopped him! But we are gonna turn that frown upside down, my friend. You know why? ‘Cause you still have me.
:'''Butcher''': You ain’t even fuckin' real.
:'''Kessler''': Well, now, that’s an interesting philosophical question. See, what is real are the fucking V’d up tumors that are mushrooming inside your guts and noggin. Super cancer! What ''is'' real is that piece of you that wants to burn every fucking Supe on Earth. How is it you think you ripped Ezekiel into fun-sized little chunks? I’m the one that gave you the juice that you needed, and I can do it again. All you have to do… is hold up your end of the bargain.
:'''Butcher''': Bargain? What fuckin' bargain?
:'''Kessler''': We go all the way. I mean, come on, champ. What’s a little genocide between friends?
:'''Butcher''': Just fuck off and let me die in peace, would you?
:'''Mallory''': Wish I could.
:''[Kessler disappears when Mallory walks into Butcher's hospital room]''
:'''Butcher''': Since you’re here… ''[takes out a cigarette]'' be a doll and fetch us a pint, would ya? ''[Mallory rolls her eyes at him]'' Come on, don’t be a cunt. I’m fuckin' dyin' here.
:'''Mallory''': Your dying’s been pretty high on my wish list lately.
:'''Butcher''': I appreciate what you’re doin' here for me.
:'''Mallory''': Not one bit of this is for you.
:'''Butcher''': Alright, then. Give us me phone. We got work to do.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Neuman are on Firecracker's talk show]''
:'''Firecracker''': Welcome to the show, folks. We got a real happy surprise for y’all today. Homelander and Vice President-elect, Victoria Neuman. Bless both your hearts for bein' here.
:'''Neuman''': I’m more than happy to find time for my friend, Homelander.
:'''Firecracker''': Yeah, let’s cut the BS. Dakota Bob says he’s gonna pass nutbag anti-Supe laws in his first hundred days.
:'''Neuman''': As his VP…
:''[Homelander stares menacingly at Neuman for a few moments]''
:'''Neuman''': …staunch ally of the super-abled community, I really think that it’s important to…
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs]'' Ally, Victoria? Really? We’re here to tell the truth. So just… tell the truth.
:'''Neuman''': The truth is that the real issue here is lack of representation. And I wanna make sure that you–
:'''Homelander''': Fine, you don’t wanna do it? I’ll do it. Victoria here is a superhero.
:'''Neuman''': ''[chuckles]'' Thanks for the compliment. But, like, I think the truth is we all wanna be heroes. But I’m not literally a su–
:''[Homelander lasers Neuman in the face. Ashley and her Vought assistants are utterly shocked to see Neuman completely unharmed.]''
:'''Ashley''': ''[gasps]'' Oh, fuck!
:'''Firecracker''': It’s all true. Ms. Neuman here has been operating as a secret dagger in the heart of the deep state, standing up to the forces of darkness that wanna sodomize our democracy and our toddlers. But it is time for the great awakening. Where we go one, we go Vought, y’all. We’re gonna take a quick break…
:''[Cut to Butcher and Mallory watching the interview from the hospital]''
:'''Butcher''': Cunt’s out of the bag, innit? Now it gets interesting.
:''[...]''
:'''Neuman''': ''[to Homelander]'' Hey! Hey, I worked my whole life to keep that secret!
:'''Homelander''': Well, secrets rot your soul. You’re unburdened. You should thank me.
:'''Neuman''': Sage said–
:'''Homelander''': Fuck Sage. She’s long gone. Listen to me. Listen to me. We are gonna change the world, Vicky. For our kids and their kids. The first super-abled President. And you’re a gal.
:'''Neuman''': I’ll be impeached.
:'''Homelander''': Why would we care?
:'''Neuman''': Because I have to get re-elected in four years.
:'''Homelander''': Says who?
:'''Neuman''': Article Two of the Constitution.
:'''Homelander''': New world, new rules. Now, shut the fuck up and listen! Our fates are connected now. Singer’s as good as dead, and I am the only fucking friend you’ve got left! The train has left the station, gorgeous. And you’re on it.
:'''Neuman''': You’ll have to arrest half your company! Half the country!
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' What, you think I didn’t think of that? Of course I thought of that!
:'''Neuman''': Fuck!
:'''Homelander''': Ashley, on me now.
:'''Ashley''': Um, the response on socials has been mixed.
:'''Homelander''': I need you to make a list of anyone within the company that has damaging information on me or The Seven… but mostly me. Anyone with any fucking leverage whatsoever.
:'''Ashley''': Yes.
:'''Homelander''': I need this fucking list ''yesterday.''
:'''Ashley''': Yes, sir.
:'''Homelander''': You're a good girl.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie gets a call on his cell phone. He hesitates when he sees that the caller is Neuman before answering.]''
:'''Hughie''': Vicky?
:'''Neuman''': I want out.
:'''Hughie''': Sorry, is–is this a joke?
:'''Neuman''': No. It’s gone too far.
:'''Hughie''': No. No, you’re just saying that ’cause the assassination failed.
:'''Neuman''': No, I’m saying it ’cause it’ll never fucking end. Homelander’s unhinged, he’s not even listening to Sage anymore. If I become President, I’m just gonna be a puppet, and if I fight back, he’ll… I’ll resign without a fight. You just need to get the CIA off my ass and get me and Zoe out, okay?
:'''Hughie''': Fuck all the way off. You’re like the asshole who cried wolf. I mean, the shit that you have done–
:'''Neuman''': Oh, what? Like how you got Sameer to cook up some more of the virus to kill me? Oh, and yeah, cut off his fucking leg?!
:'''Hughie''': Ah… Glad you two connected. Okay, so the leg thing wasn’t me, and you didn’t exactly leave us with a ton of options.
:'''Neuman''': Look, the point is, you hit me, I hit you back and it never fucking ends. ''WarGames'', Hughie. The only way to win is not to play. I thought I wanted this. Not for Zoe or… Edgar, but for me. You know, I just… I wanted to feel safe, and not like that scared fucking kid at Red River. ''[tearfully]'' But I don’t feel safe, and I’m really fucking scared. And I’m not getting Zoe killed over this. This is the only way.
:'''Hughie''': Vicky, I don’t know how to trust you.
:'''Neuman''': I’ll tell you where Zoe is.
:'''Hughie''': Is she okay?
:'''Neuman''': Yeah, but if I get her, it’ll draw too much attention. And that’s how you know you can trust me–because I am trusting my daughter with you. Please, Hughie. You’re literally the only person on Earth I can turn to right now.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ryan''': ''[sees Mallory whispering to Butcher]'' You know I can hear you. Marvin said there was an attempt on Singer’s life. He survived.
:'''Butcher''': We know. There’s just some things you don’t gotta worry about. That’s all.
:'''Mallory''': They’re gonna try again, and that virus is a Hail Mary at best. We are out of time and out of better options. Ryan needs to know the truth.
:'''Butcher''': And we’ll get there.
:'''Ryan''': What truth?
:'''Mallory''': The assassination attempt, it was on your father’s orders.
:'''Ryan''': What?
:'''Mallory''': And Flight 37… Homelander killed every soul on board.
:'''Butcher''': Grace…
:'''Ryan''': You’re lying.
:'''Mallory''': We have it on video, and he’s murdered countless more. Your father isn’t who you think he is…
:'''Ryan''': Just stop.
:'''Mallory''': …and he wasn’t having an affair with your mother.
:'''Butcher''': Grace!
:'''Mallory''': He raped her!
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat; sighs]'' I’m sorry, son.
:'''Ryan''': And? Your heart’s pounding. There’s something you’re not telling me.
:'''Butcher''': And you’re the only one who can stop him.
:'''Ryan''': S–Stop him? Like, kill him? No. No, I can’t. Don’t ask me to!
:'''Butcher''': Ryan, you’re strong.
:'''Ryan''': He’s stronger!
:'''Mallory''': We’ll train you. Get you ready.
:'''Ryan''': So this is why you want me to go with you? So you can teach me how to kill my dad?! ''[brief pause]'' I have to go.
:'''Mallory''': No, just stay. We’ll talk it out together.
:'''Ryan''': I don’t wanna talk. I’ll be back. I–I just need to think.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, Ryan. There ain’t gonna be another time for you and me, alright? Let’s just take a breather, yeah?
:'''Mallory''': You can’t leave.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause]'' Wait… These walls are six feet thick.
:'''Mallory''': This is the CIA’s Hazlet safe house. Designed to hold people like you. I could seal us in here, flood the room with halothane. And we all take a nice, long nap. But I don’t want to do that, kiddo.
:'''Ryan''': You planned this. All along, you–you brought me here to trap me!
:'''Butcher''': No, no. We brought you here to help you.
:'''Ryan''': You’re locking me in a cage unless I agree to be your weapon! Just like they did to my dad.
:'''Butcher''': That ain’t the way it is. Honest.
:'''Ryan''': Let me go.
:'''Mallory''': Ryan… When I lost my grandkids, it left this big empty black hole inside me. And then the greatest miracle came along: You. ''[pause]'' I love you, kiddo. Please.
:'''Ryan''': Aunt Grace… I wanna leave.
:'''Mallory''': I'm sorry. ''[reaches for a red button behind her]''
:'''Ryan''': Get out of my way.
:'''Butcher''': Grace…
:'''Mallory''': I’m sorry.
:''[Ryan throws Mallory hard against the wall, killing her. Butcher approaches her body and grieves over her when Ryan leaves. Butcher looks up and sees Kessler standing over him. They stare at each other knowingly and Butcher winks at him.]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher uses his tentacle powers to rip Victoria Neuman apart. Frenchie aims at him, and Kimiko prepares to rush at him.]''
:'''Hughie''': Stop, stop. It's suicide.
:'''Butcher''': I’ll be taking that virus now. Thanks, Frenchie.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Ain’t no fuckin' way.
:'''Frenchie''': You took V? It will work on you, too. 
:''[Butcher grabs the rifle. Frenchie reluctantly lets go of the rifle and hands it, along with the virus sample, to Butcher.]''
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' If I were you lot, I wouldn’t hang about. ''[pause; turns around on his way out]'' Oh, by the way... You’re all fuckin' welcome.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander is watching the news on the shattered TV in the Seven common room]''
:'''Reporter''': ''[on TV]'' We are interrupting our regular reporting with a breaking news story, that at… I’m sorry, I’m just looking to my producers here. Is this confirmed? ''[stutters]'' They’re telling me it has been. The Vice President-elect, Victoria Neuman, is dead. ''[Homelander starts tearing up]'' Assassinated today only hours after revealing to the world that she is super-abled…
:'''Sister Sage''': Where’s Ryan? 
:''[Homelander opens his eyes in shock at the sound of Sister Sage's voice. She walks into the common room holding a balloon.]''
:'''Sister Sage''': This was all for him after all, right?
:'''Homelander''': What are you doing here?
:'''Sister Sage''': Celebrating. We won. Here.
:''[Sage offers the balloon to Homelander, but he refuses and lets the balloon float up to the ceiling]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Everything’s turned to shit. Plan’s dead.
:'''Sister Sage''': This ''is'' the plan. I mean, sure, a few curveballs, but we got here. Just had to keep a few bits to myself. You know, the bits you’d fuck up by… you know, being you. Neuman would have been a shit patsy–stubborn, too many ideas–so I went another way.
:''[The news feed cuts to an out-of-context clip of Singer speaking to the Boys about Neuman followed by another clip of Singer being arrested by authorities.]''
:'''Reporter''': ''[on TV]'' …Bob Singer himself ordering the assassination.
:'''Singer''': ''[on TV]'' If you’d killed Neuman like I ordered, we wouldn’t be stuck four stories underground playing pocket pool.
:'''Reporter''': ''[on TV]'' And now we go live. Okay, that’s President-elect Robert Singer taken into custody by federal agents…
:'''Singer''': ''[on TV]'' She tried to kill me first!
:'''Reporter''': ''[on TV]'' …in an unprecedented turn of events that is certain to go down as one of the darkest days–
:''[Sage turns the TV off. She feels her cell phone vibrating]''
:'''Sister Sage''': Oh, it's… ''[offers her phone to Homelander]'' for you.
:'''Homelander''': Who is it?
:'''Sister Sage''': Oh, Speaker of the House Calhoun. Once they invoke the 25th, he’s next in line to be President. He’d like to pledge his allegiance to you.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; gets up]'' To me?
:'''Sister Sage''': Just like I promised. We had a deal.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, well, I broke the deal.
:'''Sister Sage''': I didn’t. I told you, you could trust me, boo. I got your back.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause; takes phone]'' I–I threw you out like… like garbage. Why would you do this?
:'''Sister Sage''': To see if I could. ''[pause; chuckling]'' Thank you! This was so much fun. Just, you know–Next time, listen to me.
:'''Homelander''': Next time?
:'''Sister Sage''': Oh, hells yeah, Blonde Ambition! Buckle up for Phase Two.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Calhoun''': And that is why, as my first official act, under Article One, Section Nine of the Constitution, I’m declaring martial law and deputizing hundreds of superheroes nationwide, who will report directly to Homelander himself. To keep–
:'''Homelander''': Thank you, Mr. President. ''[clears throat]'' Victoria Neuman. She was a great American, and a dear, dear friend. Murdered, in cold blood, by deep state Starlighters embedded in our own government. Now that we have full legal authority, a veritable army of superheroes will be called upon to rout these traitors from our government and from our streets. America ''will'' be safe again. And to the Starlighters: whatever rock you're hiding under, ''we're coming for you. '''I'm''' coming for you.'' Because today, a new age of superheroes begins.
:''[...]''
:'''Firecracker''': We wake up to a new world. Where hope, purity and Jesus' love shine down upon us all. Where children can sleep peacefully in their mothers' arms, knowing Starlight's pedo agenda has been thwarted! Where America finally sees the woke mob for what it is: Monsters who want to destroy our heritage, traffic our children, and feminize our men! Where, with Homelander's guidance... ''[wipes away tears]'' we will all come together in unity. We will make America strong again. Proud again. And most of all, we will make America ''super'' again.
==External links==
{{The Boys}}
[[Category:The Boys (TV series) seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>atviqjg8xu9erxn68wh7pd8cbgu2xue</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Gen V</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>280110</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943869</id>
      <parentid>3934419</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:12:41Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* External links */</comment>
      <origin>3943869</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="23850" sha1="dvstgx384l3n4f3ekbj5z81hznsawsn" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
'''''[[w:Gen V|Gen V]]''''' is an American superhero television series developed by [[w:Craig Rosenberg|Craig Rosenberg]], [[w:Evan Goldberg|Evan Goldberg]], and [[w:Eric Kripke|Eric Kripke]] for [[w:Amazon Prime Video|Amazon Prime Video]], and a spin-off for ''[[The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]''. Based on [[w:The Boys (comics)|the comic book of the same name]] by [[w:Garth Ennis|Garth Ennis]] and [[w:Darick Robertson|Darick Robertson]], it follows Vought Industries Godolkin University students that are vigilante superheroes honing their superpower abilities.

==Season 1==
===''&quot;God U.&quot;'' [1.01]===
:'''Emma Meyer''': You want a White Claw?
:'''Marie Moreau''': It's 9:00 in the morning.
:'''Emma Meyer''': It's 10:01 somewhere

----
:'''Golden Boy''': Uh, dude, I am not sweating The Incredible Steve. Or anyone that has &quot;the&quot; in their name.

----
:'''Marie Moreau''': So what were you doing?
:'''Emma Meyer''': Uh, my YouTube show. Fun Sized with Little Cricket? You haven't seen it? Oh. Well, I'm kind of like PewDiePie without the Nazi stuff.

===''&quot;First Day&quot;''' [1.02]===
:[''While torturing Andre with a high-frequency sound emitter'']
:'''Bob''': Did you know supes have a wider range of hearing than us? Like dogs. [''He turns up the sound as Andre groans in pain; a female guard appears behind him'']
:'''Intruder #5''': Hey, Bob. Turn it off.
:'''Bob''': Or what?
:'''Intruder #5''': I said, turn it off, Bob. Right fucking now. [''She switches it off and holds up her flashlight'']
:'''Bob''': What are you doing?
:'''Intruder #5''': I'll tell you what I'm doing, Bob. First, you're gonna get this flashlight nice and wet with your slutty fucking mouth.
:'''Bob''': What the fuck is wrong with you?
:'''Intruder #5''': Then I'm gonna stuff it right up your tight little chocolate starfish until you see God. [''Cate suddenly appears behind Bob and touches him, pushing him with her mind'']
:'''Cate Dunlap''': Do it. You know you want to.
:'''Andre Anderson''': [''Bewildered''] The fuck...?
:'''Bob''': Gimme that fucking flashlight! [''Gets down on his knees and starts sucking enthusiastically'']

----
:'''Indira Shetty''': Vought hired me because I'm a problem solver. When 400 kids learnt they weren't gifts from God but their parents drugged them with Compound V as infants, I barely had any suicides, did I?
:'''Ashley Barrett''': Well, you had one tonight.

===''&quot;#ThinkBrink&quot;''' [1.03]===
:'''Sam''': What's the name... of my all-time favorite movie?
:'''Emma Meyer''': Well, you're a white guy, so... Uh, [[w:The Godfather (film series)|Godfather]], [[w:Star Wars|Star Wars]] or [[w:The Shawshank Redemption|Shawshank]].

----
:'''Tiffany''': What do I always say?
:'''Emma Meyer''': Oh. &quot;Pee after sex&quot;?

----
:'''Cate Dunlap''': [''To Golden Boy''] Should we talk about our intercourse situation?

----
:'''Kayla''': Are you surprised?
:'''Jordan Li''': &quot;Surprised&quot; is a word that I'd use, yeah.

----
:'''Tiffany''': I think, in the real world, everybody uses everyone.

----
:'''Sam''': I have [[w:Bean bag|a... beanbag (chair)]].
:'''Emma Meyer''': Okay, a beanbag is not a compelling reason to stay captive, Sam.

===''&quot;The Whole Truth&quot;''' [1.04]===
:'''Indira Shetty''': What the hell happened?
:'''Dr. Edison Cardosa''': I mean, maybe Sam penetrated the ear canal with, um... his member?
:'''Indira Shetty''': That's the sum total of your searing insight, that Sam skull-fucked Bob here?

----
:'''Indira Shetty''': I want the whole security team on this.
:'''Dr. Edison Cardosa''': Well, half of them are dead.
:'''Indira Shetty''': Then use the other half.

----
:'''Sam''': You have a... a...... piece of eardrum on your shoulder.

----
:'''Emma Meyer''': I killed that guy.
:'''Sam''': Well, uh, he--he was a sadistic asshole. Does that make you feel any better?

----
:'''Emma Meyer''': You are sick.
:'''Sam''': I know. Multiple mental hospitals.

----
:'''Cate Dunlap''': What did I do?
:'''Andre Anderson''': Nothing. That's all I want right now. Just nothing.
:'''Cate Dunlap''': Well... in that case, you're welcome.

===''&quot;Welcome to the Monster Club&quot;''' [1.05]===
:'''Sam''': Emma? Are you alone?
:'''Emma Meyer''': I mean, technically, I'm with you, so...

----
:'''Emma Meyer''': Do you like Jordan? Do you want to hang out with them? Do you want to talk to them? Do you want to put your mouth on their mouth and other fucking body parts? I mean, come on. This isn't quantum physics.

===''&quot;Jumanji&quot;''' [1.06]===
:'''Soldier Boy''': What are you greasy sack of fuck nuts doing in here?
:'''Andre Anderson''': What in the fuck?
:'''Marie Moreau''': Soldier Boy? What are you doing in here?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I’m Cate’s imaginary friend from when she was a kid. Boyfriend, really. I taught her how to jerk off. Diddle that Skittle. Flick the bean. How to find that man in the canoe. She came like a faucet. She’d crank up the Jonas Brothers and she’d hump a Soldier Boy pillow. She’d raw-dog that pillow till she saw God.
:'''Marie Moreau''': Gross.
:'''Soldier Boy''': It was pretty romantic.
:'''Jordan Li''': [''Extends a fist-bump''] Hell yeah, brother.
:'''Soldier Boy''': [''Ignores fist-bump extension''] Shut the fuck up.
:'''Andre Anderson''': Fuck you. She... she just didn’t like, she didn’t like Jonas Brothers, was all. 
:'''Soldier Boy''': I know you. Yeah, you’re Cate’s new fuckboy. She really loves you. But whatever. Boys, they come and go. But she always comes back to a little... pillow talk. [''Clicks tongue'']
:'''Andre Anderson''': Fuck you. You’re a Russian agent is what you are.
:'''Marie Moreau''': Andre. Bigger shit going on right now.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the hell you talking about?
:'''Jordan Li''': Turns out you were radicalized by the Russians.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Fuck you. I’m no godless, dickless commie. I’m red-blooded. But not commie red. Red-white-and-blue red. I fart “The Star-Spangled Banner.”
:'''Andre Anderson''': You’re pretty fucking weird, dude.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah? Knock knock. Who’s there? Go fuck your face.
:'''Marie Moreau''': Okay. Fine. Whatever.

----
:'''Prof. Rich Brinkerhoff''': Jordan. What do I always say, huh? Being a hero, it’s not about the glory. It’s about... 
:'''Female Jordan Li''': It’s about sacrifice. I know, sir, but what the hell kind of sacrifice was that?
:'''Prof. Rich Brinkerhoff''': Well, Luke... Luke needs cutting-edge treatments, put him over the edge. That boy could be Homelander strong. But sometimes... sometimes he has a bad reaction.
:'''Female Jordan Li''': If Luke’s getting cutting-edge treatments, I want ’em, too.
:'''Andre Anderson''': Always looking out for yourself, huh? 
:'''Prof. Rich Brinkerhoff''': [''Chuckles''] Kid, you got a strong head. You don’t need ’em. Tell me, do you remember sitting in that chair, a scared-shitless freshman who never wanted to switch? And I promised that I would always take good care of you. Remember? Now... [''puts hand on her shoulder''] Jordan, people just don’t understand the lows it takes to reach great heights. And so now I want you to promise me, as my new T.A., that you will always protect me. Not a word of this to anyone.
:'''Female Jordan Li''': You’re making me your T.A.? 
:'''Marie Moreau''': That’s how you became Brink’s gatekeeper?
:'''Prof. Rich Brinkerhoff''': Of course. Because you’ve earned it. Can I trust you?
:'''Female Jordan Li''': Yes, sir. I’m honored. [''They hug'']
:'''Marie Moreau''': So you knew! You knew Golden Boy attacked Brink before!
:'''Male Jordan Li''': I don’t know what I knew!
:'''Andre Anderson''': Looks like you knew a lot!
:'''Male Jordan Li''': He said he was juicing Golden Boy! What would any of you done?
:'''Andre Anderson''': Something, Jordan!

----
:'''Luke Riordan''': Hey. I’m Luke.
:'''Cate Dunlap''': Cate.
:'''Luke Riordan''': You, uh... you seem pretty smart. [''Chuckles''] Could I cheat off of you?
:'''Cate Dunlap''': You’re gonna ride my coattails?
:'''Luke Riordan''': All the way to the top.

----
:'''Indira Shetty''': Okay. So she’s the answer. We do this... and there’s no going back.
:'''Dr. Edison Cardosa''': I- I don’t know what to do. I didn’t mean to, I was just following orders. We killed a Supe. My God. I- I mean, I thought she’d get the flu. Some vomiting. Maybe diarrhea.
:'''Indira Shetty''': So the virus worked?
:'''Dr. Edison Cardosa''': Only five millimeters more, that was all.
:'''Indira Shetty''': All right. Now can you make it contagious?

===''&quot;Sick&quot;''' [1.07]===
:'''Sam Riordan''': I did rip an entire person in half.
:'''Emma Meyer''': Yeah.
:'''Sam Riordan''': I mean, in my defense, he was a puppet at the time,

----
:'''Emma Meyer''': But you're so sweet. I mean, when you're not slaughtering a bunch of dudes.

----
:'''Dr. Edison Cardosa''': Compassionate control.
:'''Victoria Neuman''': That is such a great phrase. Do you mind if I steal that?

----
:'''Bald Supe''': Try not to breathe.

----
:'''Emma Meyer''': So... so all this because he lasered that Starlighter dude?

----
:'''Indira Shetty''': Oh, Cate. [''Enters house''] Why are you in here with all the lights off?
:'''Cate Dunlap''': I’ve been trying to call you for hours.
:'''Indira Shetty''': I’m sorry, my meeting went long. [''Chuckles''] You look so tired, darling. Why don’t we... get you some rest. We can talk later.
:'''Cate Dunlap''': This can’t wait.
:'''Indira Shetty''': You’ve not been taking your medication, Cate. You know what happens when you don’t. I’ve got your prescription here.
:'''Cate Dunlap''': No. All those pills ever did was make me numb. They weren’t helping me. They were clouding me. You talk, manipulate, control. That’s all you’ve ever done to me.
:'''Indira Shetty''': That isn’t true.
:'''Cate Dunlap''': And I’m fucking sick of it. You say I’m doing the right thing. It doesn’t feel right. What if I said you didn’t have to do it anymore? Lies.
:'''Indira Shetty''': Am I? [''Softly chuckles''] It’s almost time to leave this place.
:'''Cate Dunlap''': You’re leaving me?
:'''Indira Shetty''': [''Walks to her''] No. We are leaving. Together. After I’ve tied up a few loose ends, then all of the sacrifices, all of the hard work will finally pay off.
:'''Cate Dunlap''': You want to make us sick!
:'''Indira Shetty''': Not you. No, I’m gonna keep you safe. We need each other. When I lost my husband and my daughter, I lost my entire world. Every day I asked myself, [''sits on sofa arm''] “Why am I still here?” But in finding you, and with all our time together, I... I’ve found something truly special again. 
:'''Cate Dunlap''': My powers. 
:'''Indira Shetty''': No, Cate, you. [''sits on sofa cushion''] A girl who was just as lost and lonely as I felt. [''Takes her hands''] Somehow, I feel like you are truly mine, and I love you.
:'''Cate Dunlap''': [''Hears overlapping voices''] You’re telling the truth.
:'''Indira Shetty''': [''Chuckles and Cate kneels down''] Yes. [''Strokes her cheek''] I know you feel alone, but we have each other. One last push from you, and then we can leave all of this behind. You will never be alone again. [''Kisses her forehead'']

----
:'''Victoria Neuman''': [''Chuckles pouring coffee''] My daughter’s gonna be so jealous that I met the Guardian of Godolkin today. We’re huge fans.
:'''Marie Moreau''': Thanks.
:'''Victoria Neuman''': I was hoping you’d come to my town hall today, maybe ask a question. Your, uh, dean didn’t show up either. I think a personal emergency.
:'''Marie Moreau''': Yeah. I don’t know. It’s okay. It was a shit show anyway.
:'''Victoria Neuman''': You know what? [''Glances at wrist watch''] We’ll hide out in the green room until it all blows over out there. Otherwise, I think they might... [''clicks tongue''] take off my head. Look, there’s something I wanted... your powers are badass. Coolest I’ve ever seen.
:'''Marie Moreau''': Thanks.
:'''Victoria Neuman''': Those lassos and blood swords must be fucking exhausting, though. What else can you do?
:'''Marie Moreau''': Oh, that’s about it.
:'''Victoria Neuman''': Oh, come on. Tell me something about myself.
:'''Marie Moreau''': I... I don’t understand.
:'''Victoria Neuman''': You can sense things in blood. Use that and tell me about me. [''Marie hears Victoria's steady heartbeat and gasps'']
:'''Marie Moreau''': Oh, my God, you’re... your blood, there’s Compound V in it. You’re a Supe.
:'''Victoria Neuman''': I knew you could do it. Good job. [''Sits in sofa seat'']
:'''Marie Moreau''': How? Why? [''Stammers'']
:'''Victoria Neuman''': [''Gestures''] Here. Give me your knife. [''Marie sits down and Victoria cuts her hand and levitates her blood and draws it back in'']
:'''Marie Moreau''': Holy shit! 
:'''Victoria Neuman''': Thought I was the only one till you popped up at Red River. I couldn’t let them ship you off to their adult facilities, so I got you into Godolkin. I mean, don’t get me wrong, you’re awesome and everything, and- and you got in on your own merits. I just, uh, gave you a little boost.
:'''Marie Moreau''': Hold on, hold on, hold on. Why- why are you telling me this?!
:'''Victoria Neuman''': Because we understand each other.
:'''Marie Moreau''': [''Scoffs''] You don’t know anything about me!
:'''Victoria Neuman''': Oh, yes, I do. I know that you’ve fought for every fucking thing you’ve ever got in your life. I know that you’re constantly lonely, and you’re afraid that you’re gonna hurt people, like you did with your parents. And you feel like everybody is afraid of you because you grew up hearing that your powers are too dangerous, too disgusting for anyone to ever want to adopt you. I also know that every Friday for the past eight years, you’ve had fish sticks with pink sauce “as a treat.” ‘Cause I did, too.
:'''Marie Moreau''': You grew up at Red River?
:'''Victoria Neuman''': Yeah, till I was 12. I still can’t have fish. It’s residual trauma. Just, like, the smell alone is- is... [''Marie chuckles''] horrifying. [''Both laughs''] They were wrong about you and your powers, Marie. You are a very rare and exceptional girl.
:'''Marie Moreau''': Thank you.
:'''Victoria Neuman''': Okay, enough nostalgia for one day. You had something important you wanted to tell me, right?
:'''Marie Moreau''': There’s a secret lab under this school called The Woods where they experiment on kids They’re infecting them with a virus that can kill Supes.
:'''Victoria Neuman''': A virus? Are you sure?
:'''Marie Moreau''': There’s a Dr. Cardosa. He- he works in The Woods. He knows all about it. Look, you have to tell everyone what Vought is doing.
:'''Victoria Neuman''': I’ll handle it.
:'''Marie Moreau''': Handle it?
:'''Victoria Neuman''': Yeah.
:'''Marie Moreau''': What... what does that mean?
:'''Victoria Neuman''': That means I got it from here, Marie, okay? You can go back to being a student. [''Gets purse and stands up'']
:'''Marie Moreau''': [''Stands up''] What? No, no. I can’t just go back to being a student when this whole fucking school is a lie.
:'''Victoria Neuman''': Listen to me. God U is your shot at finally having some control over your life. Once Vought stashes people like you and me inside Red River, it’s fucking impossible to break out of that orphanage-to-institution pipeline without help. 
:'''Marie Moreau''': Trust me. Look, I have a platform now where I can help people. I mean, isn’t that the entire point of being a superhero? You don’t have shit! 
:'''Victoria Neuman''': Marie Moreau, Guardian of Godolkin, is marketing, okay? And you better believe that Vought will ship her off to the adult facility if she keeps fucking up her situation. But the first Black woman in The Seven, she has real power. She’s friends with the vice president. That woman, she could make a real difference politically, culturally. Maybe she can even find Annabeth. Two paths, Marie. You have to choose. You can’t have both. Let’s keep in touch. [''Walks away'']

----
:'''Marie Moreau''': [''Enters house with Emma, Male Jordan and Sam''] Cate? Are you okay? Your eye... 
:'''Male Jordan Li''': What happened?
:'''Cate Dunlap''': I’m okay, and now she’ll do whatever we want.
:'''Marie Moreau''': Maybe you should rest.
:'''Cate Dunlap''': I feel fine. It wasn’t my powers that were fucking me up. It was the pills she was giving me. I’ve never felt better.
:'''Indira Shetty''': Cate. Listen to your friends. They care about you.
:'''Cate Dunlap''': Shut up! You had your chance to talk, and now it’s my turn.
:'''Indira Shetty''': Please, Cate, you don’t have to do this! I love you!
:'''Cate Dunlap''': I know you love me! It doesn’t change the fact that you’re a fucking bitch!
:'''Male Jordan Li''': Cate, what the fuck is going on?!
:'''Cate Dunlap''': Don’t worry, we’re on the same side.
:'''Emma Meyer''': Okay, sorry, can I get a quick SparkNotes version? ‘Cause I have no idea what the fuck you guys are talking about.
:'''Cate Dunlap''': Tell them what you told me.
:'''Indira Shetty''': This school is a front. Thomas Godolkin was a behavioral scientist. He built this place to figure out what makes Supes tick, their weaknesses, how to control them. You’re not here to study. The school is here to study you. You’re subjects. Not human.
:'''Sam Riordan''': We’re better than humans.
:'''Marie Moreau''': We found out she has some kind of virus to kill the kids in The Woods. She wants to make it more contagious. She wants more than that. Don’t you?
:'''Indira Shetty''': I want it to spread across the globe and kill all of you.
:'''Emma Meyer''': Holy fuck!
:'''Marie Moreau''': Why? We don’t want to hurt you or anyone! You know that!
:'''Cate Dunlap''': Don’t lie. Tell her.
:'''Indira Shetty''': Homelander.
:'''Cate Dunlap''': So... so all this because he lasered that Starlighter dude? No, sorry, it’s fucked-up, don’t get me wrong, but, like, killing all of us seems... seems a little melodramatic.
:'''Marie Moreau''': Homelander? He took down that plane? He killed your family?
:'''Indira Shetty''': It’s not just him. You all leave a path of destruction behind you. You have ruined countless lives. Just look at what you did to your parents. You can’t help it. It’s your species.
:'''Cate Dunlap''': Tell them what your last assignment was for me.
:'''Indira Shetty''': Kill everybody in The Woods.
:'''Jordan Li''': Jesus Christ. Did you?
:'''Cate Dunlap''': Of course not, Jordan. I’m trying to show you what kind of a monster she is. She wants to wipe us off the face of the Earth. They all do, so we have to strike first. Starting with her.
:'''Indira Shetty''': Cate, make me forget. We can start over. I’m gonna take care of you.
:'''Cate Dunlap''': [''Repeatedly x4] Shut up...! Shut the fuck up! 
:'''Indira Shetty''': Cate!
:'''Cate Dunlap''': Indira! It’s time! [''Indira holds up a kitchen'']
:'''Jordan Li''': Fuck! Cate! [''Indira slits throat'']
:'''Emma Myers''': Holy shit!
:'''Jordan Li''': Cate! 
:'''Emma Myers''': Oh, my fucking God! Holy fuck!
:'''Marie Moreau''': No! [''Rushes forward and Cate grabs Marie's hand''] Don’t help!
:'''Jordan Li''': [''Rushes down to Indira''] Fuck...! Marie, do something!
:'''Marie Moreau''': Cate! Cate, you don’t need to do this! We have Neuman! She’s gonna stop her!
:'''Cate Dunlap''': We can’t trust anybody! They’ll only hurt us! This is the only way!
:'''Marie Moreau''': [''Has flashback to parents''] Cate, please! Please, you have to let me save her!
:'''Cate Dunlap''': I’m so sorry you have to relive this.
:'''Marie Moreau''': Cate.. do you know what you’ve done?
:'''Cate Dunlap''': Justice. For all of us.

----
:'''Dr. Edison Cardosa''': [''Meeting Victoria in a parking garage with briefcase''] The virus isn’t very contagious, thank God. It can survive for a few days at ambient temperature, but, you’ll want to get these test tubes into cold storage sooner than later. NIH will know what to do.
:'''Victoria Neuman''': Speaking out against Vought takes a lot of courage, Dr. Cardosa.
:'''Dr. Edison Cardosa''': I was so relieved when you contacted me about my research. I could not stand by any longer while Dean Shetty twisted my work. You and I have the same goals, right?
:'''Victoria Neuman''': Compassionate control.
:'''Dr. Edison Cardosa''': That is such a great phrase.
:'''Victoria Neuman''': Do you mind if I steal that?
:'''Dr. Edison Cardosa''': Sure. It’s all yours. And you’ll get me and my family out before things take a turn. Witness protection, right?
:'''Victoria Neuman''': Yeah. Already taken care of. [''Hands him business card and he hands her briefcase''] Is this all of it?
:'''Dr. Edison Cardosa''': Yeah. And... you’re the only one who knows how to replicate it, right?
:'''Victoria Neuman''': We’ll make sure this stays out of the wrong hands. [''Walks to vehicle, opens door and turns to him''] Hey. You’re a 21st-century American hero, Dr. Cardosa.
:'''Dr. Edison Cardosa''': [''Notices blood dripping from nose onto blank business card and chuckles''] Oh. The air must be a little dry. [''Victoria implodes Edison's head and gets in her vehicle'']

===''&quot;Guardians of Godolkin&quot;'' [1.08]===
:[''In a corporate meeting'']
:'''Marketing rep''': Focus tests show him in the lead with the 12 to 18 demo. They think he seems like, quote, “a real one.”
:'''Corporate executive''': His on-screen skin color tests read a bit dark.
:'''Ashley Barrett''': Then we’ll get [[w:Annie Leibovitz|Annie fucking Leibovitz]] to shoot him, you racist shit.

----
:'''Assistant''': [''Attempting to inform Ashley in a meeting''] Uh, um...
:'''Ashley Barrett''': What is it?
:'''Assistant''': Uh, there’s an issue on campus.
:'''Ashley Barrett''': What?

----
:'''Ashley Barrett''': [''Witness Cate imploding a student's head from a window''] Oh, my God! Where the fuck is Shetty?!

----
:'''Student''': [''On stage in drama class''] This country was founded on a single truth: All men and women were created equal. If this is going to be the dawn of The Seven, we have to first... get through dusk. [''Goes to take seat and class begins clapping after Adam'']
:'''Adam Bourke''': No, no, just me! [''Does slow solo hand clapping''] Now, that right there is how you fucking audition! [''Student attempts to bro fist Adam''] Don’t touch my knuckles! That’s how you choose a monologue to compliment your director without explicitly saying, “Hey, I love you! I’m a needy little shit. Please give me the job!” No, you do it through the work! You play it on the fucking line! [''Sam enters''] I’m sorry, can I help you? Kid, we’re having a breakthrough here! [''Sam is silent''] Look, if you’re here to audit the class, just have a seat! Okay, remember when I talked about stage presence, everybody? That is not it! [[w:Josh Hartnett|Josh Hartnett]] has more stage presence than this man here! And I can say that because we are close personal... [''Sam grabs Adam by throat''] I was kidding!

----
:'''Marie Moreau''': Sir, hi, um... [''Homelander shakes his finger and walks closer and closer to Marie''] 
:'''Homelander''': What kind of animal are you? 
:'''Marie Moreau''': What?
:'''Homelander''': Do you like attacking your own kind?
:'''Marie Moreau: No, I...
:'''Homelander''': Stay back!

==Season 2==
===''&quot;Cooking Lessons&quot;'' [2x06]===
:'''Stan Edgar''': Homelander is a gaping abyss of deep need and sociopathy. I wouldn't invite you into my home if you were like him.

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
*{{IMDb title|id=13159924}}
{{The Boys}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Gen V}}
[[Category:The Boys (TV series)]]
[[Category:2020s American satirical TV shows]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]
[[Category:Amazon Prime Video shows]]</text>
      <sha1>dvstgx384l3n4f3ekbj5z81hznsawsn</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Arthur (Season 4)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>280309</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944030</id>
      <parentid>3943692</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T20:55:12Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Arthur's Big Hit [4.1b] */</comment>
      <origin>3944030</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="20999" sha1="9kluy6vhoutvqckh4zmhxy2dhkd1bld" xml:space="preserve">===''D.W.'s Library Card'' [4.1a]===
Random

===''Arthur's Big Hit'' [4.1b]===
:''Francine steps into a boxing ring inside a large stadium, with many of the recurring people, and even Bionic Bunny in the audience. A microphone comes down.''
:'''Francine''': Presenting the main event! The champion, Arthur Timothy Read!
:'''Arthur''': ''[walks to the ring while people cheer and throw flowers and climbs into the ring]'' I've been waiting for this fight for years. And there's no way that I could lose.
:'''Francine''': And the challenger, Dora Winifred Read!
:''[D.W. rides down a ramp on her bicycle and does a somersault into the ring. She is wearing a bicycle helmet and has a unicorn on the back of her robe. Buster takes off Arthur’s robe. D.W. takes off hers and reveals a shirt with a picture of Arthur’s head with Xs for eyes. Buster puts Arthur’s gloves on. Nadine waves her wand and gloves appear on D.W.’s hands. Both Arthur and D.W. get mouthguards. Francine waves both to the center of the ring.]''
:'''Arthur''': ''[mumbling through his mouthguard, and incoherent]'' Prepare to lose!
:''[Subtitle: Prepare to lose!]''
:'''Girl and D.W. #1''': What?
:'''Arthur''': ''[still mumbling through his mouthguard, and incoherent]'' PREPARE TO LOSE!
:''[Subtitle: PREPARE TO LOSE!]''
:'''Girl and D.W. #1''': ''[pointing to the subtitles]'' This doesn't help. I can't breathe.
:'''Francine''': Get ready to fight!
:''[The two boxers circle each other]''
:'''D.W. #2''': Arthur!
:'''Arthur''': ''[sees D.W. #2 sitting in the audience eating snacks, and still mumbling through his mouthguard, and incoherent again]'' Two D.W.’s?!
:''[Subtitle: Two D.W.'s?!]''
:'''D.W. #2''': Nope, not just two D.W.s. But there was only one of me.
:''In the ring, the other boxer takes off a D.W. mask, revealing himself to be Binky. Arthur’s mouthguard drops out of his mouth.''
:'''Binky''': ''[stepping out of his D.W. body suit]'' We figured you'd rather fight someone on your own size.
:'''Arthur''': Well, you know what? Maybe you might be right. And I would like to fight someone on my own size. Now you just stay right here. I'll just go find somebody to fight. ''[runs off, pursued by Binky, screams]''
:'''Binky''': ''[enraged]'' Come back here and fight!
:'''D.W. #1''': ''[laughs]'' Binky?!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50&quot;/&gt;
:''Arthur sits at his desk with a model kit''
:'''D.W.''': ''[walks into his room]'' What kind of a game was this?
:'''Arthur''': This is not a game. This is a scale model of a Bell X-1 Rocket Plane. The plane that broke the sound barrier.
:'''D.W.''': The sound barrier must be pretty hard. ''[takes out some pieces]'' Because this plane is all smashed up.
:'''Arthur''': Nope, it's not smashed. And I'm gonna build it. ''[yells to D.W. while snatching the pieces from her]'' Hey, stop touching everything! You'll mix up all the pieces!
:'''D.W.''': I’ve never heard of toys that come already broken.
:'''Arthur''': ''[while lividly, and relentlessly staring to D.W.]'' No, it's not!
:'''D.W.''': ''[backs up from her brother]'' I'm going. Never say that I didn't go when you need me to go, because I'm going. Like this. ''[snaps her fingers]'' And the minute that you need me to go, I'm on my way out of there. No waiting.
:'''Arthur''': ''[turns red, and yells]'' Just go already!
:'''D.W.''': And if you say please, I go even faster. Because when...
:'''Arthur''': ''[growls to D.W.]'' Grrr! ''[scornfully sends D.W. out of his room]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50&quot;/&gt;
:''The next day, Arthur paints the model in the dining room. D.W. suddenly appears beside him''
:'''Arthur''': Ugh.
:'''D.W.''': Was this the same broken plane you were fixing yesterday?
:'''Arthur''': ''[yells to D.W.]'' Don't do that! I need to concentrate!
:'''D.W.''': This is a pretty color. ''[accidentally spills a paint bottle of orange paint over the building instructions which annoys Arthur]''
:'''Arthur''': ''[yells]'' Aargh!
:'''D.W.''': ''[getting a little nervous, and laughs]'' Bye. ''[quickly runs off]''
:'''Arthur''': Hmph.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50&quot;/&gt;
:''Later, Arthur and Buster walk upstairs''
:'''Arthur''': I've been working on the plane all week. And it was so hard, but I'm almost done. ''[They enter Arthur’s room and find D.W. holding the plane’s fuselage, and Arthur gets grumpy, and yells to her]'' D.W., don't touch it! This paint isn't dry yet! ''[snatches the plane away and sees fingerprints all over it. D.W.’s fingers are colored orange]''
:'''D.W.''': Ew! ''[runs off to tell her mom]'' Mom, Arthur's plane made my hands orange! 
:'''Buster''': I never thought about it before, but being an only child was so nice.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50&quot;/&gt;
:''Later, Arthur puts the finished model on a stool in his room''
:'''Arthur''': This is the best thing I have ever made.
:''In his imagination, Arthur sits on a table on a stage. Beside him sits an astronaut.''
:'''Astronaut''': Arthur Read. You've won a blue ribbon. ''[puts the ribbon on the model]''
:''Arthur flies the Bell X-1.''
:''The fantasy ends''
:'''Arthur''': Well, this calls for a celebration snack! ''[walks downstairs with Pal]''
:'''D.W.''': ''[comes out of her room]'' Didn't I hear you say cookies? ''[sees the plane in Arthur’s bedroom, and unwisely walks, and enters inside, and consciously defies]''
:'''Arthur''': ''[gives a dog treat to Pal]'' Good boy.
:'''D.W.''': ''[runs around holding the plane]'' D.W. Read to headquarters! Sound barrier broken! What's my next mission, General? ''[sees the open window]''
:'''Arthur''': ''[pretends to be an airplane, makes airplane noises]'' Arthur Read, winner of 5000 blue ribbons, requesting landing coordinates! ''[makes airplane noises]''
:''Outside the window, the model plane falls to the ground, and accidentally got a little broken''
:'''D.W.''': ''[comes down]'' Arthur, maybe you made the plane all wrong. It doesn't fly at all.
:'''Arthur''': No, D.W. I just made it exactly... ''[realizes what D.W. had said, in shocked]'' What?!
:''The screen shattered like glass''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50&quot;/&gt;
:''Outside the house, the sky has become gray''
:'''Arthur''': ''[looks up at the open window, gasps, then down at his plane on the ground, and picks up the fuselage, when some of it got accidentally loose, and looks shocked, and trembled]'' Huh?
:''In his imagination, he flies the plane, but it suddenly falls to pieces. He hovers in midair for one second, then he falls, followed by his helmet and, finally, his glasses.''
:'''Arthur''': ''[screaming]''
:''The fantasy ends''
:'''D.W.''': If it could broke the sound barrier, falling out of the window shouldn't be able to shatter like this.
:'''Arthur''':  ''[getting annoyed, wasted, and stern, losing his mind, and chides, and withstands D.W.]'' I told you not to touch it.
:'''D.W.''': You've built it all wrong! Don't you ever read the instructions, and the directions?! ''[Having enough of D.W., Arthur grinds his teeth, and firmly makes a fist]'' It just didn't fly for a second! It wasn't my fault when you've made the plane that couldn't fly!
:'''Arthur''': ''[getting infuriated, and furious, and yells to D.W.]'' I'M TELLING YOU... NOT TO TOUCH IT! ''[elevated his fist, and punches D.W.]'' ''[off-screen]''
:'''D.W.''': ''[falls down to the ground, and looks blank for a minute, then gets up, and quickly walks off, and goes inside the house, crying]''
:''Arthur bends to pick up the plane when he hears his mom''
:'''Mrs. Read''': ''[sternly calling to Arthur to come inside the house]'' ''[off-screen]'' Arthur Read, come in here.
:'''Arthur''': ''[getting a little screwed, tense, and apprehensive]'' Uh-oh! Middle name. ''[gets up]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50&quot;/&gt;
:''In the kitchen, D.W. sits beside the kitchen sink''
:'''D.W.''': ''[quietly whimpers, and cries on the kitchen counter]''
:''Her dad gets an ice pack from the refrigerator''
:'''D.W.''': ''[whimpers]'' Weren't they gonna have to ''amputake'' my arm?
:'''Mr. Read''': No, hon. It's ''amputate'', but not ''amputake''.
:'''D.W.''': ''[shouts]'' They were gonna amputate?!
:'''Mr. Read''': Nope. I am in charge, and I'm putting ice on it.
:'''D.W.''': ''[loudly roaring, shrieking, and crying in pain]'' OW!!!
:'''Mr. Read''': What's the matter?
:'''D.W.''': ''[restlessly crying in pain]'' That was cold!
:''Arthur and his mother stand in the hallway''
:'''Mrs. Read''': ''[telling Arthur to apologize to D.W. for being hostile]'' Apologize to your sister.
:'''Arthur''': ''[withholding to apologize to D.W.]'' No! But she can apologize to me! Because I've been working all week on this! And I tell her a million times not to touch it!
:''Mr. Read carries D.W. while passing them''
:'''D.W.''': ''[bitterly dispirited]'' You were bad!
:''A while later, Arthur sits on a chair in the living room facing his parents''
:'''Mr. Read''': ''[gently, and mildly rebukes, and chides Arthur for mistreating D.W., and his deeds]'' Oh, Arthur. This means no TV for a week.
:'''Arthur''': ''[dismayed]'' What?! But that was so unfair! ''[turns away]'' You didn't even care about what she did to me!
:'''Mrs. Read''': We will deal with what she did. But what you did was wrong too.
:'''Arthur''': ''[misunderstood when overreacted by being harsh to D.W., and gets irritated, and huffs]'' Humph.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50&quot;/&gt;
:''The next morning, Arthur and Buster arrive at school''
:'''Arthur''': ''[gently provoking about his discipline]'' So I've just missed Bionic Bunny from last night, and now I can't watch TV for a whole week. Can you believe that?
:'''Buster''': ''[withholds to listen to Arthur's story]'' Well, nope. I didn't believe it. But you hit your sister? That was horrible.
:''They pass Binky, with Rattles, and the Tough Customers''
:'''Arthur''': Come on. It's like you never did hit anyone.
:'''Buster''': Nah.
:'''Binky''': ''[overhears Arthur, and Buster's conversation, and gasps, then thinking that Arthus hitted his sister]'' Didn't you hear that? Arthur hit his sister! And I, for one, am shocked!
:'''Dog Boy''': ''[asks how Binky had been shocked, giving his difficult report]'' But how come you'd be shocked about somebody hitting somebody?
:'''Binky''': Why?
:'''Molly''': You were Binky Barnes, and you've always... ''[realizing]'' You know what, I just couldn't remember the last time that you did hit anyone
:'''Binky''': Uh... w-what do you mean? ''[The Tough Customers, and Rattles disappointedly stare to him in annoyance, before they heard the school bell ring]'' Hmm? Oh! There's the bell! Ha! We don't wanna be late! ''[The Tough Customers, and Rattles quickly walked inside with him]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50&quot;/&gt;
:''The Tough Customers cornered Binky at his locker''
:'''Molly''': So, when was it, Bink?
:'''Dog Boy''': Binky doesn't have to remind us for his past glorious fights.
:'''Binky''': Yeah, that's right.
:'''Dog Boy''': And this is why that he's not afraid of no one is a well-established factoid.
:'''Binky''': Yeah, that's right.
:'''Dog Boy''': And he can prove it easily by socking the very next kid who turns around this corner!
:'''Binky''': Yeah, that's right. ''[shocked]'' Wait, what?!
:''Arthur comes around the corner''
:'''Molly''': Go ahead, Binky. Just sock him.
:''Arthur passes by''
:'''Binky''': ''[tirelessly]'' Well, maybe I didn't feel like it.
:'''Molly''': ''[severely]'' WELL, YOU BETTER FEEL LIKE IT OR YOU'LL MOVE OUT OF THE CLUB IN NO TIME!
:''[So Binky says he does &quot;not feel like it&quot; on hitting Arthur. But true to what Molly says to Binky, she --about him hitting Arthur-- says that he --Binky-- ''better feel like it'' or he moves out of the club as soon as possible.]'' 
:'''Binky''': ''[fuming, and protests]'' But I can't be out of the club! That was my club! And I founded it!
:'''Molly''': Well, if you needed anything on your own way, you shouldn't have let anyone else join! But the next time when you see that kid, you'll sock him!
:''The other Tough Customers left Binky behind''
:'''Binky''': ''[getting concerned]'' The next time when I see Arthur, I'll just have to hit him. Oh. But what should I do now? ''[gets an idea]'' Wait. What if I never see him?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50&quot;/&gt;
:''Arthur sits in the classroom with Buster, Francine and Muffy.''
:'''Francine''': Arthur, why didn't you just apologize?
:'''Arthur''': ''[still annoyed, and objects]'' Come on. She just collapsed my plane. But why couldn't anyone see my side of this?
:'''Muffy''': ''[replies]'' Um... because you're wrong.
:''Binky walks into room while keeping his back turned to Arthur,s and avoids looking in his direction''
:'''Francine''': ''[turns to Binky at the next table]'' Oh. Hey, Binky. Didn't you hear that Arthur hit his young sister?
:'''Binky''': Well, I haven't seen Arthur yet. But as far as I know, Arthur isn't even here.
:'''Francine''': Binky was a little upset about what Arthur did that he won't even look at him.
:''Class has started''
:'''Mr. Ratburn''': When the day and night are of equal length, it was called the equinox.
:''The school bell rings and Binky quickly walks out of class immediately, and then met the Tough Customers again''
:'''Molly''': Did you sock that kid yet?
:'''Binky''': I haven't seen him yet. ''[snickers]'' I'm so smart. ''[walks away]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50&quot;/&gt;
:'''Binky''': ''[waits outside the school cafeteria]'' Psst. Hey, is Arthur in here?
:'''Francine''': Well, yes.
:'''Binky''': Well, maybe I'll just eat outside then. ''[walks outside]''
:'''Francine''': Binky won't even get to eat near Arthur.
:'''Buster''': Well, that was awful. Maybe, we should bring them together. Then Arthur will thank us.
:''Shortly afterwards, Binky is having lunch on the lawn behind the school''
:'''Buster''': ''[drags Arthur out of the door]'' Binky was out here somewhere.
:'''Binky''': Er.. oof! ''[jumps into a bush, when a soccer ball flies into the bush]''
:'''Sue Ellen''': I'll get it! ''[Binky hands it out]'' Thanks. ''[stops and comes back]'' Binky, what are you doing?
:'''Binky''': Avoiding Arthur. And if I didn't see him, I didn't have to hit him.
:'''Sue Ellen''': Oh. Well, why would you need to hit Arthur?
:'''Binky''': I didn't. And this is why I didn't need to see him.
:'''Sue Ellen''': Hmm... Boys. ''[walks away]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50&quot;/&gt;
:'''Binky''': ''[paces outside the boys’ room, Brain comes out]'' Was Arthur in here?
:'''Brain''': ''[shakes his head]'' Well, nope.
:'''Binky''': ''[walks in, very relieved]'' Oh... Uh, thanks, thanks, thanks so much!
:''After recess, the kids come inside''
:'''Arthur''': ''[talks to Fern]'' She just shattered my plane!
:'''Fern''': But she was just a little girl.
:'''Arthur''': Saying that D.W. was just a little girl was like saying a tornado, just like a little wind.
:''Binky is hiding behind an ornamental plant''
:'''Buster''': ''[stands beside him]'' Hey, Arthur! Over here!
:'''Binky''': Shh! ''[grabs Buster and pulls him behind the plant. Buster stands beside him]''
:'''Arthur''': I thought somebody had called my name.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50&quot;/&gt;
:''The school bell rings and the kids leave the building''
:'''Binky''': ''[holds an open book around his head]'' I made it through one whole day. Now only... the rest of my life to go.
:''Binky, Molly, Rattles and the Dog Boy walk past the Sugar Bowl''
:'''Binky''': So I never saw that glasses kid again. I probably never will.
:'''Arthur''': ''[runs after them. Binky looked very surprised to Arthur running towards him, Rattles, and the Tough Customers, implying that Binky's scheme of avoiding Arthur backfired]'' Hey, Binky! You dropped your pen when you walk out of school, kind of sideways, at the end of the day.
:'''Molly''': ''[whispering]'' Now, here's the chance you have been waiting for.
:'''Dog Boy''': ''[whispering]'' Show her, Binky. Just tap, and pop him one.
:''[Binky looks around at the Tough Customers who grin expectantly, and gulps, then sinisterly looks at Arthur, who holds the pen, and &quot;pops him one&quot; by hits him on his arm]''
:'''Arthur''': ''[falls down]'' Ouch!
:'''Molly''': All right, you're right. He will hit anyone.
:'''Dog Boy''': OK, Binky. You're still in your club. Binky? Where are you going?! Wait! Binky!
:''Binky rushes, and runs off in discomfort, when the Tough Customers rushed after him''
:'''Arthur''': ''[holds his arm in pain]'' Ouch!
:'''Molly''': All right, maybe you're right. He's gonna hit anyone.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50&quot;/&gt;
:''After Arthur gets a taste of his own medicine, the scene pans to the kitchen. That is, where Arthur is getting his injury treated.''
:''Later that evening, Arthur sits beside the kitchen sink, and his father hands him and ice pack.
:'''Arthur''': ''[holds the ice pack on his arm]'' And the next thing I knew, I was on the ground. It hurt, and it was so embarrassing, and...
:''D.W. and her mother come in.''
:'''Mr. Read''': Well, maybe this is how D.W. felt when you punched her.
:''As a result, the incident makes Arthur understand how D.W must have felt.'' 
:'''Arthur''': Well, yeah, maybe. But what's it got to do with this? Binky Barnes was very huge!
:''Mrs. Read carries D.W. to the kitchen, and his parents just stared, and looked to them''
:'''Arthur''': ''[calmly]'' Yeah, I guess I kind of get it now.
:'''D.W.''': ''[smiles]''
:'''Arthur''': ''[walks into the dining room where D.W. is waiting]'' I'm sorry for hitting you.
:'''D.W.''': And I'm sorry for shattering your plane. But what kind of a weak plane doesn't fly?
:'''Arthur''': A model plane?
:'''D.W.''': Well, I didn't even know yet. But I'm just a little child. Just give me a break.
:''The next day, at the park, Binky sits on a swing looking worried. Arthur rides by on his bike''
:'''Binky''': Hey, Arthur. I feel really rotten earlier. I just wanted to apologize.
:'''Arthur''': I just wanna say thank you.
:'''Binky''': ''[gets up]'' Huh... what?
:'''Arthur''': Well, everyone had told me that I was wrong and I didn't get it. ''[feels his balls]'' But... you made me understand how bad I made D.W. feel.
:'''Binky''': Well, you're very welcome. But I didn't try to help you learn some boring lessons. But it was just an accident though.
:''The other Tough Customers come''
:'''Dog Boy''': ''[points to Arthur]'' Hey, it's the kid who got hit by Binky, and now lived with him.
:'''Molly''': Now you've deserved to be in his club, kid.
:'''Binky''': ''[walks to Tough Customers]'' Actually, there was no club. But I founded it earlier, and now I'm de-founding it. Because any club that makes you wanna do something you don't wanna do was so dumb. So, anyone else wanna make something of it?
:'''Dog Boy''': Um... nope.
:'''Binky''': Come on, Arthur. Let's just go get a soda.
:'''Molly''': Oh, man. Now he's got no club at all. Hmm.
:'''Binky''': ''[walks up to them]'' Do you guys wanna come with us? How about if we just form a new club with no dumb hitting, and all this stuff? And because if anyone does break the rules, I will clobber them.

===''Hide and Snake'' [4.2a]===

===''Muffy's New Best Friend'' [4.2b]===

===''Buster's Breathless'' [4.3a]===

===''The Fright Stuff'' [4.3b]===

===''The Contest'' [4.4a]===
:'''Muffy''': We could write about things that really happened to us.
:'''Francine''': There's only one problem. Nothing's ever happened to us. They start walking home.
:'''Arthur''': Are you kidding? What about when we first had Mr. Ratburn? We thought he was a monster.
:'''Buster''': Right. Or when I moved away.
:'''Francine''': I guess you could do something about when I taught Arthur to play baseball.

===''Prove It'' [4.4b]===

===''The Blizzard'' [4.5a]===
:'''Mr. Ratburn''': ''[enters the classroom]'' Sorry, I'm late. Let's jump right into work.
:''[Just then, the lights in the classroom go out]''
:'''Mr. Haney''': Bad news! The storm is getting worse, the buildings lost electricity, so the school is closed.
:''[Mr. Ratburn gasps while the class cheer]''

&lt;hr width=50% /&gt;
:'''Oliver''': I tried all night, but the plower's stuck. None of the roads can get plowed now.
:'''Francine''': Dad, look! It's too cold to write. I have to stop doing my report.

===''The Rat Who Came to Dinner'' [4.5b]===
:'''Arthur''': Good night, Mom! Good night, Dad!
:'''Mr. and Mrs. Read''': Good night, Arthur!
:'''Arthur''': Good night, Mr. Ratburn!
:'''Mr. Ratburn''': Good night, Arthur! Good night, D.W.!
:'''D.W.''': Good night, Mr. Ragberp!
:'''Arthur''': Good night, Pal!
:''[Pal barks &quot;good night&quot;]''
:'''Mr. Ratburn''': Good night, Pal! Will there be more cake tomorrow?

===''D.W. Tale Spins'' [4.6a]===

===''Prunella Gets It Twice'' [4.6b]===

===''Binky Barnes, Wingman'' [4.7a]===

===''To Beat or Not to Beat'' [4.7b]===
:'''Muffy''': ''[shocked and plugged the ears]'' What in the world is that?! Turn it off!

===''1001 Dads'' [4.8a]===

===''Prunella's Prediction'' [4.8b]===

===''What is that Thing?'' [4.9a]===

===''Buster's Best Behavior'' [4.9b]===

===''My Music Rules'' [4.10a]===

===''That's A Baby Show'' [4.10b]===
:'''Arthur''': Mom says I'm watching the Dark Bunny after your baby show ends!
:'''D.W.''': Mary Moo Cow is not a baby show!

[[Category:Television show seasons]]--&gt;</text>
      <sha1>9kluy6vhoutvqckh4zmhxy2dhkd1bld</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Mufasa: The Lion King</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>283811</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944112</id>
      <parentid>3934442</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T03:24:55Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-25979-33</username>
        <id>3314668</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Taglines */</comment>
      <origin>3944112</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="19797" sha1="9c4xw12cinozcax4hh4mcq5cshggvf6" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title|2024 American photorealistic film by Barry Jenkins}}
'''''[[w:Mufasa: The Lion King|Mufasa: The Lion King]]''''' is a [[w:2024 in film|2024]] American [[w:Computer-generated imagery|CGI animated]] [[w:Musical film|musical]] [[w:Drama (film and television)|drama film]] produced by [[w:Walt Disney Pictures|Walt Disney Pictures]] and distributed by [[w:Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures|Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures]]. It is the sequel/prequel to [[The Lion King (2019 film)|the 2019 remake]] of [[The Lion King|the 1994 animated movie of the same title]]. This film is about [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Rafiki|Rafiki]], who tells the origin story of two lions, [[w:Mufasa|Mufasa]] and [[w:Scar (The Lion King)|Taka]], to [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Kiara|Kiara]], with the story following the orphan Mufasa, who is befriended by the young prince Taka and adopted by Taka's family with the pair becoming as close as brothers.
:''Directed by [[w:Barry Jenkins|Barry Jenkins]]. Written by [[w:Jeff Nathanson|Jeff Nathanson]].''
{{center|'''The story of an orphan who would be king.'''[[#Taglines|taglines]]}}

== [[w:Mufasa|Mufasa]] ==
'''Cub'''
* ''[wet.]'' I'm not a stray, I'm just…''lost.''
'''Young adult'''
* Sometimes, I get a scent. It's barely a trace on the wind. It smells like [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Masego's Pride|home]]. Then it's gone.
* ''[from the second trailer]'' I'm here to protect you, [[w:Scar (The Lion King)|my brother]].
* ''[from the third and final trailer]'' He's going to start a new kingdom.
* ''[remembers what [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Obasi's Pride|Eshe]] says to him, says it to [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Sarabi|Sarabi]].]'' Close your eyes. Tell me what you hear. What you ''feel.''
* ''[from the third trailer]'' I will ''not'' bend to evil. We must fight together.
* I'm not king, not royal blood.
* As long as I'm king, my brother will have a place here. ''['''Taka:''' Mufasa, I'm so…]'' But I won't ever say your name again. I can't...I ''won't!''
* ''['''Taka:''' Then call me Scar - so I’ll never forget what I have done.]'' &quot;Scar.&quot;
* '''Operatic roaring while standing on Pride Rock like adult [[w:Simba|Simba]] at the end of the movie with his last line'''

== [[w:Scar (The Lion King)|Taka / Scar]] ==
'''Cub'''
* ''[to [[w:Mufasa|Mufasa]], when they just first met.]'' Hello, I’m Taka; son of Obasi! What’s ''your'' name? ''['''Mufasa replies:''' Mufasa.]''
* ''[from the second trailer]'' I have a secret, Mufasa. [[w:Mufasa: The Lion King (soundtrack)#Track listing|I always wanted a brother]].
'''Yound Adult'''
* ''[jumps of the waterfall with Mufasa.]'' This was a bad idea!
* ''['''Mufasa:''' Taka, do'' not ''eat [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Rafiki|him]].]'' ''[from the third and final trailer]'' Wonderful. Another we're ''not'' supposed to eat.
* You stole my destiny. Now this is yours.
* Then call me ''Scar'' - so that I can't forget what I have done. ''['''Mufasa:''' &quot;Scar.&quot;]'' Your majesty. ''[then walks away.]''

== [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Rafiki|Rafiki]] ==
'''Adult'''
* It’s time I tell [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Kiara|you]] a story. A story of [[w:Mufasa|a cub]] not much bigger than you.
* ''[from the first trailer]'' This story begins far beyond the mountains and the shadows on the other side of the light. A lion was born without a drop of nobility in his blood, a lion who would change our lives forever.
* ''[from the second trailer]'' Long before they became legends, Mufasa and [[w:Scar (The Lion King)|the prince]], [[The Lion King (2019 film)|who would come to be known as &quot;Scar]],&quot; became brothers.
'''Young Adult'''
* ''[from the third and final trailer]'' If you take my life, you will never find where you are going.
* I am not a [[w:Baboon|baboon]], I am a ''[[w:Mandrill|mandrill]].''
* We are nearing ''destiny,'' Mufasa. And so [[w:Earthquake|the earth must ''shake]].''
* ''[from the first trailer]'' Destiny awaits you.
* It's not about what you ''were,'' it's what you will ''become.''
* It is ''your'' time, Mufasa.

== [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Kiros' Pride|Kiros]] ==
* ''[from the second trailer and his most famous quote]'' [[w:Circle of Life|The Circle]] is ''broken.'' [[w:Mufasa: The Lion King (soundtrack)#Track listing|There will be ''one Lion King]].''
* ''[from the third and final trailer]'' We have come to rule without mercy.
* Everything the light touches belongs to ''me.''
* Blood for blood!
* ''[last words]'' I didn’t kill him… ''you'' did.

== [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Kiara|Kiara]] ==
* So ''[[w:Timon and Pumbaa|you two]]'' defeated [[w:Scar (The Lion King)|Scar]] (instead of Simba)? And then you ''ate him'' (instead of [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Shenzi, Banzai and Ed|the hyenas]])? ''['''Timon:''' Honestly, one of the best meals I ever had.]'' [[w:Simba|My dad]] told me ''he'' defeated Scar.
* [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Rafiki|Rafiki]], keep going!
* ''[yelling]'' '''QUIET!!!'''
* I will take care of you...''forever.'' [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Lion Guard|Little one]], let me tell you a story. [[The Lion Guard|A story of a great king]].

== [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Obasi's Pride|Eshe]] ==
* '''[[w:Mufasa|MUFASA]], RUN!!!'''
* [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Kiros' Pride|They]] were huge, white as ghosts, like nothing I've seen before.
* Mufasa, you and Taka together. ''[[w:Mufasa: The Lion King (soundtrack)#Track listing|That]]'' is home.
* [[w:Scar (The Lion King)|Taka]], your moment of courage will come.
* I told you to wait for me! ''['''Taka:''' But we can't just leave him here.]'' Rules are rules, Taka. The king will never accept a stray.

== Dialogue ==
{{center|'''In remembrance of James Earl Jones'''}}
:'''[[w:Mufasa|Mufasa]]''': ''[from offscreen; archive audio]'' [[w:He Lives in You|Look at the stars, whenever you feel alone, the great kings of the past will always be prepared to guide you. And so will I]].
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Timon''': ''[he and Pumbaa enter the scene.]'' Security detail reporting for duty. Your Grace, Your Higness...
:'''Pumbaa''': Ruler of all four-legged creatures. ''[bows.]''
:'''Timon''': And that one three-legged zebra.
:'''Pumbaa''': Oh, right. Ron. That was tragic.
:'''Timon''': It was an eat-an-Ron.
:'''Pumbaa''': Yeah.
:'''Timon''': Ron has three legs. That's still one more than me.
:'''Pumbaa''': ''[looking at Timon's arms]'' Well, are those arms are legs?
:'''Timon''': I don't know. I think they're paws.
:'''Pumbaa''': I consider all those legs.
:'''Simba''': Guys, this is serious. I need you to stay with Kiara until I get back.
:'''Pumbaa''': Are you saying that your security detail has been called on to do ''babysitting.''
:'''Timon''': Pumbaa, we should really discuss this, because ''[whispers in Pumbaa's ear.] I don't really love chil—''
:'''Simba''': Guys, I promised her everything will be okay.
:'''Timon''': ''[sarcastically]'' Well, that's one way to parent.
:'''Pumbaa''': ''[sarcastically]'' She's gotta grow up sometime.
:'''Timon''': What else did you tell her? That she can be whatever she wants to be?
:'''Pumbaa''': That life is fair?
:'''Simba''': I need you two to try and act like adults, okay? Don't scare Kiara. And most of all, no stories.
:'''Pumbaa''': No stories?
:'''Timon''': Wait a sec.
:'''Simba''': I know where your head goes. I grew up with you two. Promise me.
:'''Pumbaa''': You know what, you know what, you know what? Fine. ''No'' stories.
:'''Timon''': Speak for yourself, Pumbaa.
:'''Pumbaa''': No. Pssh. ''[whispers to Timon] We'll tell a story anyway.''
:'''Timon''': ''[whispers back] Okay. We're gonna tell him that we're not gonna tell a story, and then we're gonna tell a story and then...''
:'''Simba''': Are you guys serious? I'm clearly with an earshot. ''[Kiara enters the scene.]'' Kiara. Hey, little one.
:'''Kiara''': *whimpers* [Simba circles around Kiara, then lies down.] Dad? The storm's coming, and I'm scared. I wanna go with you and Mom. [Kiara nuzzles Simba.] *whimpers* *purrs*
:'''Simba''': Well, Don't be scared, my love. Timon and Pumbaa will watch you while I'm gone. Be brave now, Kiara. Be brave. ''[Then leaves the scene.]''
:'''Pumbaa''': ''[in normal voice]'' Okay, we prepared a story! ''[cut to the final battle from [[The Lion King (2019 film)|the remake]], in which he and Timon defeat Scar instead of Simba].
:'''Timon''': ''[in normal voice, voiceover]'' Scar looked at us! He knew it was the end of the line! '''I COULD ''SMELL'' THE FEAR!'''
:'''Pumbaa''': ''[voiceover.]'' That was actually me, but yes. ''[Scar attacks, but Timon punches him. Then Pumbaa headbutts him off the cliff.]''
:'''Kiara''': So you two defeated Scar,  and then you ate him?
:'''Timon''': Honestly, one of the best meals I ever had.
:'''Kiara''': My dad told me he defeated Scar.
:'''Timon''': Well, okay, [Timon climbs onto Pumbaa's head. Pumbaa begins to trot deeper into the cave. Kiara follows.] but your dad, as we all know, is a pathological liar.
:'''Bats''': [from offscreen] *click*
:'''Pumbaa''':	He's always lyin'. [Lightning flickers.] Get it?
[Suddenly, thunder rumbles. Kiara, Timon, and Pumbaa scramble for cover. Mysterious animal-like creature roaring noise are heard from offscreen with [[Godzilla]] roar sound effects. Kiara and Timon cower in-between two rocks.]
:'''Kiara''': [horrified.] I'm scared. I want Mom and Dad.
[Pumbaa darts up to Kiara and Timon's hiding place and with sticks his head through the crack after the comic text - '''BOOM!''' sound.]
:'''Pumbaa''':	Now, look, look, look, look, look. Don't be scared, Kiara. How about... [with increasing joviality] we sing you a song? And a one...
[Timon walks toward Pumbaa.]
:'''Timon''': Pumbaa, no! It is way too early for the song!
:'''Pumbaa''': It worked on Simba! He thought he had murdered his own father. He was singin' and dancin' around in seconds!
:'''Timon''': [interrupting] I can't just turn it on like that. I have to be [Timon turns his head away dramatically.] in the moment.
:'''Pumbaa''': He sang that song for ''six years straight!''
:'''Timon''': Well, who didn't?! What the...? ''[thunder rumbles again,Kiara gasps and cower against the ground while she, Timon and Pumbaa watch in horror.]'' 
'''AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! IT'S RON THE THREE-LEGGED ZEBRA! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!'''
:'''Pumbaa''':  He heard what we've been sayin' about him! [Cut to a blurry view of the cave entrance, with Kiara smiling and  walking toward it in the foreground.] We're sorry, Ron! They were just jokes! ''[Rafiki enters the scene]''
:'''Kiara''': It's Rafiki. ''[runs to Rafiki.]'' Rafiki! Rafiki!
:'''Rafiki''': Little one, there's no reason to cry.
:'''Kiara''': My parents. They're gone.
:'''Rafiki''': Hey. [Rafiki walks toward the cave entrance. Kiara follows. In the background, Timon and Pumbaa follow as well.] Look out there, mdogo. You see those baobab trees blowing in the wind? [Cut to Rafiki's tree blowing in the wind, with Kiara and Rafiki approaching it in the foreground.] The roots of those trees are very strong, like your family. And just as they did for you, your parents have gone to the ceremonial birthing grounds, and when they return, [Cut to Kiara and Rafiki standing side by side in the cave entrance, while Timon and Pumbaa look on in the background.] the Circle of Life will bring a blessing to you, Kiara...
[Rafiki pats Kiara on the head.]
:'''Kiara''': *gasps*
:'''Rafiki''': ...that you will never forget.
[The camera zooms in on Timon and Pumbaa.]
:'''Pumbaa''': [whispering] Man, he's good. He's such a visual storyteller.
:'''Timon''': [whispering] Yet it makes sense that he lives alone.
''[Thunder rumbles. Cut to Kiara and Rafiki walking deeper into the cave.]''
:'''Kiara''':	I just want the storm to pass, and then, I promise to be brave! Just a little bit...
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&gt;
:'''Kiara''': ''[sees Simba come back then runs to him.] '''DAD!!!'''
:'''Pumbaa''': Rafiki, that was unbelievable! You could not improve it!
:'''Timon''': That said, I do not have notes.
:'''Pumbaa''': A bunch of suggestions. Take 'em or leave 'em, but take 'em.
:'''Kiara''': Dad!
:'''Simba''': Kiara! ''[Kiara and Simba hug.]'' Kiara...
:'''Kiara''': ''[reunites with Simba.]'' Dad? Where's Mom?
:'''Simba''': Well love, there's something you need to know.
:'''Kiara''': What, did something happen to Mom?
:'''Nala''': ''[enters the scene with [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Lion Guard|Kion]].] Baby, I'm right here. And I'm fine.
:'''Kiara''': Where were you?! 
:'''Nala''': Kiara... [A cub walks out from behind her.] ...this is your new brother.
:'''Kiara''': [confused] Brother? I have a brother? [more excited] [Kiara circles the cub.] Hey there. I'm Kiara. And I will take care of you...forever. ''[says the same thing Rafiki said to her.]'' Little one, let me tell you a story. [[The Lion Guard|A story of a great king]].

== Taglines ==
* The story of an orphan who would be king.
* Two Brothers. One Destiny.
* Orphan. Outsider. King. (Mufasa poster)
* Prince. Brother. Villain. (Taka/Scar poster)
'''Scrapped clips of the movie'''
* Mufasa png pack (February 18, 2024 - for my Pegasus Device), Simba running in the desert at nighttime manip (February 18, 2024 - this is actually Nuka running in the desert because I'm making a Pegasus Device where Taka is the oldest and Mufasa is the leader of the Lion Guard with the bravest being his mate Sarabi the fastest being Sarafina the strongest being Hamadi (which is actually the strongest of Scar's guard from The Lion Guard) and the keenest of sight being Zazu and when Scar becomes king and Zira becomes queen they have two cubs Nuka and Vitani meanwhile Sarafina and his mate Busara (which is actually the keenest of sight in Scar's guard in The Lion Guard) have Nala and Mheetu and Mufasa and Sarabi have one cub Simba but after Zira betrays Scar and kills him in a stampede Nuka runs away and stays with Timon and Pumbaa years later Vitani finds help for Nuka take his place as king and after talking to his father as a ghost spirit who encourages him to return Nuka does so when he returns he fights his mother at the top of Pride Rock and when Zira attacks his sister Vitani he makes final attack throwing his mom off the cliff and into the fire and in return he becomes king of Pride Rock), Mufasa running mask (February 18, 2024 - for my Pegasus Device), Simba pushing Scar off the cliff mask (February 18, 2024 - I'm maniping it to Nuka pushing Zira off the cliff in my upcoming Pegasus Device), Teen Mufasa manip pack (June 13, 2024 - I'm using one of the manips for the animated teaser trailer for the upcoming MTLK movie with the rest being for an offical trailer if they'll make one), Mufasa, Kiros, and white lionesses manip (September 3, 2024 - this is for the animated official trailer for the upcoming MTLK movie and in the trailer if that really was Mufasa or Taka with Kiros and the white lions then...whatever I'll figure out when the movie comes out), Kiros chasing Mufasa manip (September 3, 2024 - for the animated official trailer for the upcoming MTLK movie), 4 Teen Mufasa and Teen Taka/Scar manips (September 3, 2024 - for the animated official trailer for the upcoming MTLK movie), 3 Teen Mufasa and Teen Taka/Scar (September 3, 2024 - for the animated official trailer for the upcoming MTLK movie), Mufasa and Zazu png (September 3, 2024 - for the animated official trailer for the upcoming MTLK movie), 3 Teen Mufasa running manips (November 26, 2024 - for the animated final trailer for the upcoming MTLK movie), Teen Mufasa attacking manip (November 26, 2024 - for the animated final trailer for the upcoming MTLK movie), Teen Mufasa x Teen Sarabi manip (+ og Simba x Nala png) (January 19, 2025 - for the animated &quot;Brother Betrayed&quot; scene from the MTLK movie), (Teen?) Mufasa frank (January 19, 2025 -

== Voice cast ==
* [[w:Aaron Pierre (actor)|Aaron Stone Pierre]] as [[w:Mufasa|Mufasa]]
** Braelyn Rankins as Young Mufasa
* [[w:Kelvin Harrison Jr.|Kelvin Harrison Jr.]] as [[w:Scar (The Lion King)|Taka]]
** Theo Somolu as Young Taka
* [[w:Tiffany Boone|Tiffany Boone]] as [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise)  characters#Sarabi|Sarabi]]
* [[w:Kagiso Lediga|Kagiso Lediga]] as Young [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Rafiki|Rafiki]]
* Preston Nyman as [[w:List of The Lion King characters#Zazu|Zazu]]
* [[w:Blue Ivy Carter|Blue Ivy Carter]] as Princess [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Kiara|Kiara]]
* [[w:John Kani|Bonisile John Kani]] - Rafiki
* [[w:Mads Mikkelsen|Mads Mikkelsen]] as [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Kiros' Pride|Kiros]]
* [[w:Seth Rogen|Seth Aaron Rogen]] as [[w:Timon and Pumbaa|Pumbaa]]
* [[w:Billy Eichner|Billy Eichner]] as [[w:Timon and Pumbaa|Timon]]
* [[w:Thandiwe Newton|Melanie Thandiwe Newton]] as [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Obasi's Pride|Eshe]]
* [[w:Lennie James|Lennie Michael James]] as [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Obasi's Pride|Obasi]]
* [[w:Anika Noni Rose|Anika Noni Rose]] as [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Masego's Pride|Afia]]
* [[w:Keith David|Keith David]] as [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Masego's Pride|Masego]]
* [[w:Donald Glover|Donald McKinley Glover Jr.]] as [[w:Simba|Simba]]
* [[w:Beyoncé|Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter]] as [[w:Nala (The Lion King)|Nala]]
* [[w:Folake Olowofoyeku|Folake Olowofoyeku]] as [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Kiros' Pride|Amara]]
* Joanna Jones as [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Kiros' Pride|Akua]]
* [[w:Thuso Mbedu|Thuso Nokwanda Mbedu]] as [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Junia's Troop|Junia]]
* [[w:Sheila Atim|Sheila Atim]] as [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Milele animals|Ajarry]]
* [[w:Abdul Salis|Abdul Wahab Mumuni]] as [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Obasi's Pride|Chigaru]]
* David S. Lee as [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Milele animals|Mobo]]
* [[w:Maestro Harrell|Maestro Harrell]] as [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Junia's Troop|Inaki]]
* Ahkeem Jamal Beckles as [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Kiros' Pride|Azibo]]
* Derrick L. McMillon as [[w:List of The Lion King (franchise) characters#Junia's Troop|Mosi]]
* [[w:Dominique Jennings|Dominique Jennings]] as [[w:List of The Lion King characters#Sarafina|Sarafina]]

== External links ==
*{{wikipedia-inline}}
*{{Commonscat-inline}}
* {{IMDb title|id=13186482| title=Mufasa: The Lion King}}

{{The Lion King}}
{{Authority control}}

[[Category:2024 films]]
[[Category:2020s American animated films]]
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]
[[Category:American children's animated musical films]]
[[Category:American films with live action and animation]]
[[Category:Sequel films]]
[[Category:Prequel films]]
[[Category:The Lion King]]
[[Category:Films about revenge]]
[[Category:Films about death]]
[[Category:Films set in Africa]]
[[Category:Films set in Tanzania]]
[[Category:Films set in jungles]]
[[Category:Films about brothers]]
[[Category:Animated films about elephants]]
[[Category:Animated films about death]]
[[Category:Animated films about lions]]
[[Category:Animated films about brothers]]
[[Category:Animated films about orphans]]
[[Category:Animated films about revenge]]
[[Category:Animated films set in Tanzania]]
[[Category:Screenplays by Jeff Nathanson]]</text>
      <sha1>9c4xw12cinozcax4hh4mcq5cshggvf6</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Caillou</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>284578</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943965</id>
      <parentid>3934869</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T14:46:10Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943965</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="9416" sha1="pyym9dgcauwc32y9qww28okoq72zkew" xml:space="preserve">'''''[[w:Caillou|Caillou (1997)]]''''' (pre-produced 1993-2003, produced: 1996-2003, aired: 1997-2003 (original); pre-produced: 2002-2006; produced: 2005-2006, aired: 2006 (first revival); pre-produced: 2006-2011; produced: 2009-2011, aired: 2010-2011 (second revival) (classic) (original); copyrighted: 1995; pre-produced: 1998, produced: 1999 (pilot); pre-produced: 1996-2003, produced: 1999-2003, aired: 2000-2003 (original); pre-produced: 2002-2007; produced: 2005-2007; 2006-2007 (first revival); pre-produced: 2009-2013; produced: 2012-2013; aired: 2013 (second revival) (official) (PBS)) is a French (Seasons 1-5) (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)-English (Seasons 1-5) (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)-Chinese (Season 3) (2002-2003)-Afrikaans (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Zulu (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Xhosa (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Tswana (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Tsonga (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Swati (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Venda (Season 5) (2010-2011) language Canadian (Seasons 1-5) (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)-Quebecois (Seasons 1-5) (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)-American (Seasons 2-4) (2000-2003, 2006)-Mandarin Chinese (Season 3) (2002-2003)-Chinese (Season 3) (2002-2003)-Hong Kong Cantonese (Season 3) (2002-2003)-South African (Season 5) (2010-2011) preschool 2D animated (traditional, hand-drawn 2D animation (Seasons 1-3) (1997-2003) (traditional, hand-inked, hand-painted, and hand-colored cel animation (Season 1) (1997-1998)/digital inking-and-painting, and coloring animation (Seasons 1-3) (1997-2003))/2D Flash animation (Seasons 4-5) (2006, 2010-2011) (Adobe Flash (Season 4) (2006)/Adobe Flash Professional (Season 4) (2006)/Adobe Flash Player (Season 4) (2006))/Toon Boom Animation (Season 5) (2010-2011) (Toon Boom Harmony (Season 5) (2010-2011))/Cutout animation (Season 5) (2010-2011)/Puppet animation (Season 5) (2010-2011))-live-action (Seasons 2-3) (2000-2003) educational television series where an imaginative 4-year old boy learns lessons and searches around him. The show was produced by Caillou Productions (Season 1) (1997)/Four Me Productions (Seasons 2-3) (2000-2003), a subsidiary of CINAR (Seasons 1-3) (1997-2003) (CINAR Films (Season 1) (1997)/CINAR Corporation (Seasons 2-3) (2000-2003)) in Canada, and Quebec, and later 9 Story Entertainment (Season 4) (2006) (after CINAR was rebranded as Cookie Jar between 2004 and 2006), and Nelvana (Season 4) (2006) in Canada, and Quebec, and 9161-0345 Quebec (Season 5) (2010-2011), a subsidiary corporation of Sardine Productions (Season 5) (2010-2011) in Canada, and Quebec, and was co-produced by Shanghai Animation Film Studio (Season 3) (2002-2003) in China, and Mainland China, and Animation Services (Hong Kong), Ltd. (Season 3) (2002-2003) in China, and Hong Kong, and later Clockwork Zoo (Season 5) (2010-2011) in South Africa, and was distributed by CINAR (Seasons 1-3) (1997-2003) (CINAR Films (Season 1) (1997-1998)/CINAR Corporation (Seasons 2-3) (2000-2003)) in Canada, and Quebec, and later 9 Story Entertainment (Season 4) (2006) (after CINAR was rebranded as Cookie Jar between 2004 and 2006), and Nelvana (Season 4) (2006) in Canada, and Quebec, and was aired on Teletoon (Seasons 1-4) (1997-2003, 2006) in French, and English, in Canada, and in French, in Quebec, Tele-Quebec (Seasons 1-4) (1997-2003, 2006) in French, in Canada, and Quebec, and Citytv (Seasons 1-4) (1997-2003, 2006), and CTV Television Network (Seasons 1-4) (1997-2003, 2006) in English, in Canada, and later on TFO (Mega TFO) (Season 5) (2010-2011), and TV5 Quebec Canada (Season 5) (2010-2011) in French, in Canada, and Quebec, and Global Television Network (Season 5) (2010-2011), TVOntario/TVO (TVOKids) (Season 5) (2010-2011), and Treehouse TV (Season 5) (2010-2011) in English, in Canada, and was later un-aired on broadcast syndication (regional syndication (first-run syndication)/public broadcasting syndication) (Pilot) (1999), and PBS (PTV/PTV Park) (Pilot) (1999), for the un-aired 5-minute pilot episode, called ''Big Brother Caillou'', in English, in the United States, until the show was later aired on PBS (PBS Kids) (Seasons 1-6) (2000-2003, 2006-2013) (PBS Kids Go! (Seasons 3-6) (2006-2007, 2013), and PBS Kids Preschool Block (Seasons 4-6) (2006-2007, 2013)) in English, in the United States, and was debuted on September 15, 1997, and ended on January 18, 2002, for the original series, for the classic series, for the original series, and was later debuted on January 13, 2006, and ended on January 22, 2006, for the first revival series, for the classic series, for the original series, and then was debuted on September 11, 2010, and ended on September 23, 2010, for the second revival series, for the classic series, for the original series, and was later produced on March 22, 1999, for the un-banned, un-censored, and un-aired 5-minute pilot episode, called ''Big Brother Caillou'', for the PBS series, until the show was later debuted on September 4, 2000, and ended on January 5, 2003, for the original series, for the official series, for the PBS series, and was later debuted on April 1, 2006, and ended on September 28, 2006, for the first revival series, for the official series, for the PBS series, and then was debuted March 11, 2013, and ended on March 17, 2013, for the second revival series, for the official series, for the PBS series. The show was aimed at toddlers, and preschoolers, but adults (for banned/censored episodes), and from ages 2 to 5, but from ages 18 to 21 (for banned/censored episodes).&lt;br&gt;'''''[[w:Caillou|Caillou's New Adventures]]''''' (2016-2023) is a French-English language Canadian-Quebecois preschool 2D animated (2D Flash animation) educational web series. The show was produced by DHX Media (DHX Studios, and WildBrain) (Seasons 1-2) (2016-2019) in Canada, and Quebec, 9 Story Media Group (Seasons 3-5) (2019-2023) in Canada, and Quebec, and Nelvana (Seasons 3-5) (2019-2023) in Canada, and Quebec, and was distributed by DHX Media (DHX Studios, and WildBrain) (Seasons 1-2) (2016-2019) in Canada, and Quebec, Story Media Group (Seasons 3-5) (2019-2023) in Canada, and Quebec, and Nelvana (Seasons 3-5) (2019-2023) in Canada, and Quebec, and was streamed on YouTube (YouTube Kids (Seasons 1-5) (2016-2023), and WildBrain (Seasons 1-2) (2016-2019)), and was debuted on November 24, 2016, and ended on August 18, 2023, for the third revival series. The show was aimed at toddlers, and preschoolers, and from ages 2 to 5.&lt;br&gt;'''''[[w:Caillou|Caillou (2024)]]''''' (2022 (specials), 2024 (series)) is a French-English language Canadian-Quebecois-British-American-French preschool 3D animated (3D CGI animation) educational television series reboot. The show was produced by Mainframe Studios in Canada, and Quebec, and Splash Entertainment in the United States, and the United Kingdom, Cyber Group Studios in France, Cyber Group Studios USA in the United States, and CyberSplash Entertainment in France, the United States, the United Kingdom, Italy, and Singapore, was aired on Peacock (Peacock Kids) in English, in the United States, and Family Jr. in English, in Canada, and Telemagino in French, and in Canada, and Quebec, and was debuted on February 15, 2024, and ended on December 5, 2024, for the reboot, and fourth revival series. The show was aimed at toddlers, and preschoolers, and from ages 2 to 5.

==Seasons==
===Original series (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)===
====Classic series (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)====
=====Original series (1997-2003)=====
* [[Caillou (Season 1)|Season 1]] (1997-1998)
* [[Caillou (Season 2)|Season 2]] (2000-2001)
* [[Caillou (Season 3)|Season 3]] (2002-2003)
* [[Caillou's Holiday Movie]] (2003)
=====Revival series (2006, 2010-2011)=====
======First revival series (2006)======
* [[Caillou (Season 4)|Season 4]] (2006)
======Second revival series (2010-2011)======
* [[Caillou (Season 5)|Season 5]] (2010-2011)
===PBS series (1999 (Pilot (Unaired)); 2000-2003 (Original), 2006-2007, 2013 (Revival) (Official))===
====Pilot (1999) (Unaired)====
* [[Caillou (Pilot) (PBS)|Pilot]] (1999) (Unaired)
====Official series (2000-2003, 2006-2007, 2013)====
=====Original series (2000-2003)=====
* [[Caillou (Season 1) (PBS)|Season 1]] (2000-2001)
* [[Caillou (Season 2) (PBS)|Season 2]] (2000-2001)
* [[Caillou (Season 3) (PBS)|Season 3]] (2003)
* [[Caillou's Holiday Movie]] (2003)

=====Revival series (2006-2013)=====
======First revival series (2006-2007)======
* [[Caillou (Season 4) (PBS)|Season 4]] (2006-2007)
* [[Caillou (Season 5) (PBS)|Season 5]] (2006-2007)
======Second revival series (2013)======
* [[Caillou (Season 6) (PBS)|Season 6]] (2013)

===Third revival series (2016-2023)===
====Caillou's New Adventures (2016-2023)====
* [[Caillou's New Adventures (Season 1)|Season 1]] (2016-2018)
* [[Caillou's New Adventures (Season 2)|Season 2]] (2018-2019)
* [[Caillou's New Adventures (Season 3)|Season 3]] (2019-2020)
* [[Caillou's New Adventures (Season 4)|Season 4]] (2020-2021)
* [[Caillou's New Adventures (Season 5)|Season 5]] (2022-2023)
===Reboot series (2022, 2024)===
====Fourth revival series (2022, 2024)====
* [[Caillou: Rosie the Giant]] (2022)
* [[Caillou: Adventures with Grandma and Grandpa]] (2022)
* [[Caillou: The Bravest Wolf Boy]] (2022)
* [[Caillou: The Silver Knight]] (2022)
* [[Caillou's Perfect Christmas]] (2022)
* [[Caillou (2024) (Season 1)|Season 1]] (2024)

==External links==
* {{IMDb title|id=0262153|title=Caillou}}</text>
      <sha1>pyym9dgcauwc32y9qww28okoq72zkew</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943966</id>
      <parentid>3943965</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T14:48:48Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Original series (1997-2003) */</comment>
      <origin>3943966</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="9412" sha1="enfug1b14h61oxwzjf7vlyjga3saxne" xml:space="preserve">'''''[[w:Caillou|Caillou (1997)]]''''' (pre-produced 1993-2003, produced: 1996-2003, aired: 1997-2003 (original); pre-produced: 2002-2006; produced: 2005-2006, aired: 2006 (first revival); pre-produced: 2006-2011; produced: 2009-2011, aired: 2010-2011 (second revival) (classic) (original); copyrighted: 1995; pre-produced: 1998, produced: 1999 (pilot); pre-produced: 1996-2003, produced: 1999-2003, aired: 2000-2003 (original); pre-produced: 2002-2007; produced: 2005-2007; 2006-2007 (first revival); pre-produced: 2009-2013; produced: 2012-2013; aired: 2013 (second revival) (official) (PBS)) is a French (Seasons 1-5) (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)-English (Seasons 1-5) (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)-Chinese (Season 3) (2002-2003)-Afrikaans (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Zulu (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Xhosa (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Tswana (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Tsonga (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Swati (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Venda (Season 5) (2010-2011) language Canadian (Seasons 1-5) (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)-Quebecois (Seasons 1-5) (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)-American (Seasons 2-4) (2000-2003, 2006)-Mandarin Chinese (Season 3) (2002-2003)-Chinese (Season 3) (2002-2003)-Hong Kong Cantonese (Season 3) (2002-2003)-South African (Season 5) (2010-2011) preschool 2D animated (traditional, hand-drawn 2D animation (Seasons 1-3) (1997-2003) (traditional, hand-inked, hand-painted, and hand-colored cel animation (Season 1) (1997-1998)/digital inking-and-painting, and coloring animation (Seasons 1-3) (1997-2003))/2D Flash animation (Seasons 4-5) (2006, 2010-2011) (Adobe Flash (Season 4) (2006)/Adobe Flash Professional (Season 4) (2006)/Adobe Flash Player (Season 4) (2006))/Toon Boom Animation (Season 5) (2010-2011) (Toon Boom Harmony (Season 5) (2010-2011))/Cutout animation (Season 5) (2010-2011)/Puppet animation (Season 5) (2010-2011))-live-action (Seasons 2-3) (2000-2003) educational television series where an imaginative 4-year old boy learns lessons and searches around him. The show was produced by Caillou Productions (Season 1) (1997)/Four Me Productions (Seasons 2-3) (2000-2003), a subsidiary of CINAR (Seasons 1-3) (1997-2003) (CINAR Films (Season 1) (1997)/CINAR Corporation (Seasons 2-3) (2000-2003)) in Canada, and Quebec, and later 9 Story Entertainment (Season 4) (2006) (after CINAR was rebranded as Cookie Jar between 2004 and 2006), and Nelvana (Season 4) (2006) in Canada, and Quebec, and 9161-0345 Quebec (Season 5) (2010-2011), a subsidiary corporation of Sardine Productions (Season 5) (2010-2011) in Canada, and Quebec, and was co-produced by Shanghai Animation Film Studio (Season 3) (2002-2003) in China, and Mainland China, and Animation Services (Hong Kong), Ltd. (Season 3) (2002-2003) in China, and Hong Kong, and later Clockwork Zoo (Season 5) (2010-2011) in South Africa, and was distributed by CINAR (Seasons 1-3) (1997-2003) (CINAR Films (Season 1) (1997-1998)/CINAR Corporation (Seasons 2-3) (2000-2003)) in Canada, and Quebec, and later 9 Story Entertainment (Season 4) (2006) (after CINAR was rebranded as Cookie Jar between 2004 and 2006), and Nelvana (Season 4) (2006) in Canada, and Quebec, and was aired on Teletoon (Seasons 1-4) (1997-2003, 2006) in French, and English, in Canada, and in French, in Quebec, Tele-Quebec (Seasons 1-4) (1997-2003, 2006) in French, in Canada, and Quebec, and Citytv (Seasons 1-4) (1997-2003, 2006), and CTV Television Network (Seasons 1-4) (1997-2003, 2006) in English, in Canada, and later on TFO (Mega TFO) (Season 5) (2010-2011), and TV5 Quebec Canada (Season 5) (2010-2011) in French, in Canada, and Quebec, and Global Television Network (Season 5) (2010-2011), TVOntario/TVO (TVOKids) (Season 5) (2010-2011), and Treehouse TV (Season 5) (2010-2011) in English, in Canada, and was later un-aired on broadcast syndication (regional syndication (first-run syndication)/public broadcasting syndication) (Pilot) (1999), and PBS (PTV/PTV Park) (Pilot) (1999), for the un-aired 5-minute pilot episode, called ''Big Brother Caillou'', in English, in the United States, until the show was later aired on PBS (PBS Kids) (Seasons 1-6) (2000-2003, 2006-2013) (PBS Kids Go! (Seasons 3-6) (2006-2007, 2013), and PBS Kids Preschool Block (Seasons 4-6) (2006-2007, 2013)) in English, in the United States, and was debuted on September 15, 1997, and ended on January 18, 2002, for the original series, for the classic series, for the original series, and was later debuted on January 13, 2006, and ended on January 22, 2006, for the first revival series, for the classic series, for the original series, and then was debuted on September 11, 2010, and ended on September 23, 2010, for the second revival series, for the classic series, for the original series, and was later produced on March 22, 1999, for the un-banned, un-censored, and un-aired 5-minute pilot episode, called ''Big Brother Caillou'', for the PBS series, until the show was later debuted on September 4, 2000, and ended on January 5, 2003, for the original series, for the official series, for the PBS series, and was later debuted on April 1, 2006, and ended on September 28, 2006, for the first revival series, for the official series, for the PBS series, and then was debuted March 11, 2013, and ended on March 17, 2013, for the second revival series, for the official series, for the PBS series. The show was aimed at toddlers, and preschoolers, but adults (for banned/censored episodes), and from ages 2 to 5, but from ages 18 to 21 (for banned/censored episodes).&lt;br&gt;'''''[[w:Caillou|Caillou's New Adventures]]''''' (2016-2023) is a French-English language Canadian-Quebecois preschool 2D animated (2D Flash animation) educational web series. The show was produced by DHX Media (DHX Studios, and WildBrain) (Seasons 1-2) (2016-2019) in Canada, and Quebec, 9 Story Media Group (Seasons 3-5) (2019-2023) in Canada, and Quebec, and Nelvana (Seasons 3-5) (2019-2023) in Canada, and Quebec, and was distributed by DHX Media (DHX Studios, and WildBrain) (Seasons 1-2) (2016-2019) in Canada, and Quebec, Story Media Group (Seasons 3-5) (2019-2023) in Canada, and Quebec, and Nelvana (Seasons 3-5) (2019-2023) in Canada, and Quebec, and was streamed on YouTube (YouTube Kids (Seasons 1-5) (2016-2023), and WildBrain (Seasons 1-2) (2016-2019)), and was debuted on November 24, 2016, and ended on August 18, 2023, for the third revival series. The show was aimed at toddlers, and preschoolers, and from ages 2 to 5.&lt;br&gt;'''''[[w:Caillou|Caillou (2024)]]''''' (2022 (specials), 2024 (series)) is a French-English language Canadian-Quebecois-British-American-French preschool 3D animated (3D CGI animation) educational television series reboot. The show was produced by Mainframe Studios in Canada, and Quebec, and Splash Entertainment in the United States, and the United Kingdom, Cyber Group Studios in France, Cyber Group Studios USA in the United States, and CyberSplash Entertainment in France, the United States, the United Kingdom, Italy, and Singapore, was aired on Peacock (Peacock Kids) in English, in the United States, and Family Jr. in English, in Canada, and Telemagino in French, and in Canada, and Quebec, and was debuted on February 15, 2024, and ended on December 5, 2024, for the reboot, and fourth revival series. The show was aimed at toddlers, and preschoolers, and from ages 2 to 5.

==Seasons==
===Original series (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)===
====Classic series (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)====
=====Original series (1997-2003)=====
* [[Caillou (Season 1)|Season 1]] (1997-1998)
* [[Caillou (Season 2)|Season 2]] (2000)
* [[Caillou (Season 3)|Season 3]] (2002-2003)
* [[Caillou's Holiday Movie]] (2003)

=====Revival series (2006, 2010-2011)=====
======First revival series (2006)======
* [[Caillou (Season 4)|Season 4]] (2006)
======Second revival series (2010-2011)======
* [[Caillou (Season 5)|Season 5]] (2010-2011)
===PBS series (1999 (Pilot (Unaired)); 2000-2003 (Original), 2006-2007, 2013 (Revival) (Official))===
====Pilot (1999) (Unaired)====
* [[Caillou (Pilot) (PBS)|Pilot]] (1999) (Unaired)
====Official series (2000-2003, 2006-2007, 2013)====
=====Original series (2000-2003)=====
* [[Caillou (Season 1) (PBS)|Season 1]] (2000-2001)
* [[Caillou (Season 2) (PBS)|Season 2]] (2000-2001)
* [[Caillou (Season 3) (PBS)|Season 3]] (2003)
* [[Caillou's Holiday Movie]] (2003)

=====Revival series (2006-2013)=====
======First revival series (2006-2007)======
* [[Caillou (Season 4) (PBS)|Season 4]] (2006-2007)
* [[Caillou (Season 5) (PBS)|Season 5]] (2006-2007)
======Second revival series (2013)======
* [[Caillou (Season 6) (PBS)|Season 6]] (2013)

===Third revival series (2016-2023)===
====Caillou's New Adventures (2016-2023)====
* [[Caillou's New Adventures (Season 1)|Season 1]] (2016-2018)
* [[Caillou's New Adventures (Season 2)|Season 2]] (2018-2019)
* [[Caillou's New Adventures (Season 3)|Season 3]] (2019-2020)
* [[Caillou's New Adventures (Season 4)|Season 4]] (2020-2021)
* [[Caillou's New Adventures (Season 5)|Season 5]] (2022-2023)
===Reboot series (2022, 2024)===
====Fourth revival series (2022, 2024)====
* [[Caillou: Rosie the Giant]] (2022)
* [[Caillou: Adventures with Grandma and Grandpa]] (2022)
* [[Caillou: The Bravest Wolf Boy]] (2022)
* [[Caillou: The Silver Knight]] (2022)
* [[Caillou's Perfect Christmas]] (2022)
* [[Caillou (2024) (Season 1)|Season 1]] (2024)

==External links==
* {{IMDb title|id=0262153|title=Caillou}}</text>
      <sha1>enfug1b14h61oxwzjf7vlyjga3saxne</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943967</id>
      <parentid>3943966</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T14:49:47Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943967</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="9417" sha1="3g7aeh358zbdnlo4u7bo4hkg013myhq" xml:space="preserve">'''''[[w:Caillou|Caillou (1997)]]''''' (pre-produced 1993-2003, produced: 1996-2003, aired: 1997-2003 (original); pre-produced: 2002-2006; produced: 2005-2006, aired: 2006 (first revival); pre-produced: 2006-2011; produced: 2009-2011, aired: 2010-2011 (second revival) (classic) (original); copyrighted: 1995; pre-produced: 1998, produced: 1999 (pilot); pre-produced: 1996-2003, produced: 1999-2003, aired: 2000-2003 (original); pre-produced: 2002-2007; produced: 2005-2007; 2006-2007 (first revival); pre-produced: 2009-2013; produced: 2012-2013; aired: 2013 (second revival) (official) (PBS)) is a French (Seasons 1-5) (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)-English (Seasons 1-5) (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)-Chinese (Season 3) (2002-2003)-Afrikaans (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Zulu (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Xhosa (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Tswana (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Tsonga (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Swati (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Venda (Season 5) (2010-2011) language Canadian (Seasons 1-5) (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)-Quebecois (Seasons 1-5) (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)-American (Seasons 2-4) (2000-2003, 2006)-Mandarin Chinese (Season 3) (2002-2003)-Chinese (Season 3) (2002-2003)-Hong Kong Cantonese (Season 3) (2002-2003)-South African (Season 5) (2010-2011) preschool 2D animated (traditional, hand-drawn 2D animation (Seasons 1-3) (1997-2003) (traditional, hand-inked, hand-painted, and hand-colored cel animation (Season 1) (1997-1998)/digital inking-and-painting, and coloring animation (Seasons 1-3) (1997-2003))/2D Flash animation (Seasons 4-5) (2006, 2010-2011) (Adobe Flash (Season 4) (2006)/Adobe Flash Professional (Season 4) (2006)/Adobe Flash Player (Season 4) (2006))/Toon Boom Animation (Season 5) (2010-2011) (Toon Boom Harmony (Season 5) (2010-2011))/Cutout animation (Season 5) (2010-2011)/Puppet animation (Season 5) (2010-2011))-live-action (Seasons 2-3) (2000-2003) educational television series where an imaginative 4-year old boy learns lessons and searches around him. The show was produced by Caillou Productions (Season 1) (1997)/Four Me Productions (Seasons 2-3) (2000-2003), a subsidiary of CINAR (Seasons 1-3) (1997-2003) (CINAR Films (Season 1) (1997-1998)/CINAR Corporation (Seasons 2-3) (2000-2003)) in Canada, and Quebec, and later 9 Story Entertainment (Season 4) (2006) (after CINAR was rebranded as Cookie Jar between 2004 and 2006), and Nelvana (Season 4) (2006) in Canada, and Quebec, and 9161-0345 Quebec (Season 5) (2010-2011), a subsidiary corporation of Sardine Productions (Season 5) (2010-2011) in Canada, and Quebec, and was co-produced by Shanghai Animation Film Studio (Season 3) (2002-2003) in China, and Mainland China, and Animation Services (Hong Kong), Ltd. (Season 3) (2002-2003) in China, and Hong Kong, and later Clockwork Zoo (Season 5) (2010-2011) in South Africa, and was distributed by CINAR (Seasons 1-3) (1997-2003) (CINAR Films (Season 1) (1997-1998)/CINAR Corporation (Seasons 2-3) (2000-2003)) in Canada, and Quebec, and later 9 Story Entertainment (Season 4) (2006) (after CINAR was rebranded as Cookie Jar between 2004 and 2006), and Nelvana (Season 4) (2006) in Canada, and Quebec, and was aired on Teletoon (Seasons 1-4) (1997-2003, 2006) in French, and English, in Canada, and in French, in Quebec, Tele-Quebec (Seasons 1-4) (1997-2003, 2006) in French, in Canada, and Quebec, and Citytv (Seasons 1-4) (1997-2003, 2006), and CTV Television Network (Seasons 1-4) (1997-2003, 2006) in English, in Canada, and later on TFO (Mega TFO) (Season 5) (2010-2011), and TV5 Quebec Canada (Season 5) (2010-2011) in French, in Canada, and Quebec, and Global Television Network (Season 5) (2010-2011), TVOntario/TVO (TVOKids) (Season 5) (2010-2011), and Treehouse TV (Season 5) (2010-2011) in English, in Canada, and was later un-aired on broadcast syndication (regional syndication (first-run syndication)/public broadcasting syndication) (Pilot) (1999), and PBS (PTV/PTV Park) (Pilot) (1999), for the un-aired 5-minute pilot episode, called ''Big Brother Caillou'', in English, in the United States, until the show was later aired on PBS (PBS Kids) (Seasons 1-6) (2000-2003, 2006-2013) (PBS Kids Go! (Seasons 3-6) (2006-2007, 2013), and PBS Kids Preschool Block (Seasons 4-6) (2006-2007, 2013)) in English, in the United States, and was debuted on September 15, 1997, and ended on January 18, 2002, for the original series, for the classic series, for the original series, and was later debuted on January 13, 2006, and ended on January 22, 2006, for the first revival series, for the classic series, for the original series, and then was debuted on September 11, 2010, and ended on September 23, 2010, for the second revival series, for the classic series, for the original series, and was later produced on March 22, 1999, for the un-banned, un-censored, and un-aired 5-minute pilot episode, called ''Big Brother Caillou'', for the PBS series, until the show was later debuted on September 4, 2000, and ended on January 5, 2003, for the original series, for the official series, for the PBS series, and was later debuted on April 1, 2006, and ended on September 28, 2006, for the first revival series, for the official series, for the PBS series, and then was debuted March 11, 2013, and ended on March 17, 2013, for the second revival series, for the official series, for the PBS series. The show was aimed at toddlers, and preschoolers, but adults (for banned/censored episodes), and from ages 2 to 5, but from ages 18 to 21 (for banned/censored episodes).&lt;br&gt;'''''[[w:Caillou|Caillou's New Adventures]]''''' (2016-2023) is a French-English language Canadian-Quebecois preschool 2D animated (2D Flash animation) educational web series. The show was produced by DHX Media (DHX Studios, and WildBrain) (Seasons 1-2) (2016-2019) in Canada, and Quebec, 9 Story Media Group (Seasons 3-5) (2019-2023) in Canada, and Quebec, and Nelvana (Seasons 3-5) (2019-2023) in Canada, and Quebec, and was distributed by DHX Media (DHX Studios, and WildBrain) (Seasons 1-2) (2016-2019) in Canada, and Quebec, Story Media Group (Seasons 3-5) (2019-2023) in Canada, and Quebec, and Nelvana (Seasons 3-5) (2019-2023) in Canada, and Quebec, and was streamed on YouTube (YouTube Kids (Seasons 1-5) (2016-2023), and WildBrain (Seasons 1-2) (2016-2019)), and was debuted on November 24, 2016, and ended on August 18, 2023, for the third revival series. The show was aimed at toddlers, and preschoolers, and from ages 2 to 5.&lt;br&gt;'''''[[w:Caillou|Caillou (2024)]]''''' (2022 (specials), 2024 (series)) is a French-English language Canadian-Quebecois-British-American-French preschool 3D animated (3D CGI animation) educational television series reboot. The show was produced by Mainframe Studios in Canada, and Quebec, and Splash Entertainment in the United States, and the United Kingdom, Cyber Group Studios in France, Cyber Group Studios USA in the United States, and CyberSplash Entertainment in France, the United States, the United Kingdom, Italy, and Singapore, was aired on Peacock (Peacock Kids) in English, in the United States, and Family Jr. in English, in Canada, and Telemagino in French, and in Canada, and Quebec, and was debuted on February 15, 2024, and ended on December 5, 2024, for the reboot, and fourth revival series. The show was aimed at toddlers, and preschoolers, and from ages 2 to 5.

==Seasons==
===Original series (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)===
====Classic series (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)====
=====Original series (1997-2003)=====
* [[Caillou (Season 1)|Season 1]] (1997-1998)
* [[Caillou (Season 2)|Season 2]] (2000)
* [[Caillou (Season 3)|Season 3]] (2002-2003)
* [[Caillou's Holiday Movie]] (2003)

=====Revival series (2006, 2010-2011)=====
======First revival series (2006)======
* [[Caillou (Season 4)|Season 4]] (2006)
======Second revival series (2010-2011)======
* [[Caillou (Season 5)|Season 5]] (2010-2011)
===PBS series (1999 (Pilot (Unaired)); 2000-2003 (Original), 2006-2007, 2013 (Revival) (Official))===
====Pilot (1999) (Unaired)====
* [[Caillou (Pilot) (PBS)|Pilot]] (1999) (Unaired)
====Official series (2000-2003, 2006-2007, 2013)====
=====Original series (2000-2003)=====
* [[Caillou (Season 1) (PBS)|Season 1]] (2000-2001)
* [[Caillou (Season 2) (PBS)|Season 2]] (2000-2001)
* [[Caillou (Season 3) (PBS)|Season 3]] (2003)
* [[Caillou's Holiday Movie]] (2003)

=====Revival series (2006-2013)=====
======First revival series (2006-2007)======
* [[Caillou (Season 4) (PBS)|Season 4]] (2006-2007)
* [[Caillou (Season 5) (PBS)|Season 5]] (2006-2007)
======Second revival series (2013)======
* [[Caillou (Season 6) (PBS)|Season 6]] (2013)

===Third revival series (2016-2023)===
====Caillou's New Adventures (2016-2023)====
* [[Caillou's New Adventures (Season 1)|Season 1]] (2016-2018)
* [[Caillou's New Adventures (Season 2)|Season 2]] (2018-2019)
* [[Caillou's New Adventures (Season 3)|Season 3]] (2019-2020)
* [[Caillou's New Adventures (Season 4)|Season 4]] (2020-2021)
* [[Caillou's New Adventures (Season 5)|Season 5]] (2022-2023)
===Reboot series (2022, 2024)===
====Fourth revival series (2022, 2024)====
* [[Caillou: Rosie the Giant]] (2022)
* [[Caillou: Adventures with Grandma and Grandpa]] (2022)
* [[Caillou: The Bravest Wolf Boy]] (2022)
* [[Caillou: The Silver Knight]] (2022)
* [[Caillou's Perfect Christmas]] (2022)
* [[Caillou (2024) (Season 1)|Season 1]] (2024)

==External links==
* {{IMDb title|id=0262153|title=Caillou}}</text>
      <sha1>3g7aeh358zbdnlo4u7bo4hkg013myhq</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943992</id>
      <parentid>3943967</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T17:24:21Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943992</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="9417" sha1="0mtt9abq3m7avfwo1elddjeak0caavg" xml:space="preserve">'''''[[w:Caillou|Caillou (1997)]]''''' (pre-produced 1993-2003, produced: 1996-2003, aired: 1997-2003 (original); pre-produced: 2002-2006; produced: 2005-2006, aired: 2006 (first revival); pre-produced: 2006-2011; produced: 2009-2011, aired: 2010-2011 (second revival) (classic) (original); copyrighted: 1995; pre-produced: 1998, produced: 1999 (pilot); pre-produced: 1996-2003, produced: 1999-2003, aired: 2000-2003 (original); pre-produced: 2002-2007; produced: 2005-2007; 2006-2007 (first revival); pre-produced: 2009-2013; produced: 2012-2013; aired: 2013 (second revival) (official) (PBS)) is a French (Seasons 1-5) (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)-English (Seasons 1-5) (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)-Chinese (Season 3) (2002-2003)-Afrikaans (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Zulu (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Xhosa (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Tswana (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Tsonga (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Swati (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Venda (Season 5) (2010-2011) language Canadian (Seasons 1-5) (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)-Quebecois (Seasons 1-5) (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)-American (Seasons 2-4) (2000-2003, 2006)-Mandarin Chinese (Season 3) (2002-2003)-Chinese (Season 3) (2002-2003)-Hong Kong Cantonese (Season 3) (2002-2003)-South African (Season 5) (2010-2011) preschool 2D animated (traditional, hand-drawn 2D animation (Seasons 1-3) (1997-2003) (traditional, hand-inked, hand-painted, and hand-colored cel animation (Season 1) (1997-1998)/digital inking-and-painting, and coloring animation (Seasons 1-3) (1997-2003))/2D Flash animation (Seasons 4-5) (2006, 2010-2011) (Adobe Flash (Season 4) (2006)/Adobe Flash Professional (Season 4) (2006)/Adobe Flash Player (Season 4) (2006))/Toon Boom Animation (Season 5) (2010-2011) (Toon Boom Harmony (Season 5) (2010-2011))/Cutout animation (Season 5) (2010-2011)/Puppet animation (Season 5) (2010-2011))-live-action (Seasons 1-3) (1997-2003) educational television series where an imaginative 4-year old boy learns lessons and searches around him. The show was produced by Caillou Productions (Season 1) (1997)/Four Me Productions (Seasons 2-3) (2000-2003), a subsidiary of CINAR (Seasons 1-3) (1997-2003) (CINAR Films (Season 1) (1997-1998)/CINAR Corporation (Seasons 2-3) (2000-2003)) in Canada, and Quebec, and later 9 Story Entertainment (Season 4) (2006) (after CINAR was rebranded as Cookie Jar between 2004 and 2006), and Nelvana (Season 4) (2006) in Canada, and Quebec, and 9161-0345 Quebec (Season 5) (2010-2011), a subsidiary corporation of Sardine Productions (Season 5) (2010-2011) in Canada, and Quebec, and was co-produced by Shanghai Animation Film Studio (Season 3) (2002-2003) in China, and Mainland China, and Animation Services (Hong Kong), Ltd. (Season 3) (2002-2003) in China, and Hong Kong, and later Clockwork Zoo (Season 5) (2010-2011) in South Africa, and was distributed by CINAR (Seasons 1-3) (1997-2003) (CINAR Films (Season 1) (1997-1998)/CINAR Corporation (Seasons 2-3) (2000-2003)) in Canada, and Quebec, and later 9 Story Entertainment (Season 4) (2006) (after CINAR was rebranded as Cookie Jar between 2004 and 2006), and Nelvana (Season 4) (2006) in Canada, and Quebec, and was aired on Teletoon (Seasons 1-4) (1997-2003, 2006) in French, and English, in Canada, and in French, in Quebec, Tele-Quebec (Seasons 1-4) (1997-2003, 2006) in French, in Canada, and Quebec, and Citytv (Seasons 1-4) (1997-2003, 2006), and CTV Television Network (Seasons 1-4) (1997-2003, 2006) in English, in Canada, and later on TFO (Mega TFO) (Season 5) (2010-2011), and TV5 Quebec Canada (Season 5) (2010-2011) in French, in Canada, and Quebec, and Global Television Network (Season 5) (2010-2011), TVOntario/TVO (TVOKids) (Season 5) (2010-2011), and Treehouse TV (Season 5) (2010-2011) in English, in Canada, and was later un-aired on broadcast syndication (regional syndication (first-run syndication)/public broadcasting syndication) (Pilot) (1999), and PBS (PTV/PTV Park) (Pilot) (1999), for the un-aired 5-minute pilot episode, called ''Big Brother Caillou'', in English, in the United States, until the show was later aired on PBS (PBS Kids) (Seasons 1-6) (2000-2003, 2006-2013) (PBS Kids Go! (Seasons 3-6) (2006-2007, 2013), and PBS Kids Preschool Block (Seasons 4-6) (2006-2007, 2013)) in English, in the United States, and was debuted on September 15, 1997, and ended on January 18, 2002, for the original series, for the classic series, for the original series, and was later debuted on January 13, 2006, and ended on January 22, 2006, for the first revival series, for the classic series, for the original series, and then was debuted on September 11, 2010, and ended on September 23, 2010, for the second revival series, for the classic series, for the original series, and was later produced on March 22, 1999, for the un-banned, un-censored, and un-aired 5-minute pilot episode, called ''Big Brother Caillou'', for the PBS series, until the show was later debuted on September 4, 2000, and ended on January 5, 2003, for the original series, for the official series, for the PBS series, and was later debuted on April 1, 2006, and ended on September 28, 2006, for the first revival series, for the official series, for the PBS series, and then was debuted March 11, 2013, and ended on March 17, 2013, for the second revival series, for the official series, for the PBS series. The show was aimed at toddlers, and preschoolers, but adults (for banned/censored episodes), and from ages 2 to 5, but from ages 18 to 21 (for banned/censored episodes).&lt;br&gt;'''''[[w:Caillou|Caillou's New Adventures]]''''' (2016-2023) is a French-English language Canadian-Quebecois preschool 2D animated (2D Flash animation) educational web series. The show was produced by DHX Media (DHX Studios, and WildBrain) (Seasons 1-2) (2016-2019) in Canada, and Quebec, 9 Story Media Group (Seasons 3-5) (2019-2023) in Canada, and Quebec, and Nelvana (Seasons 3-5) (2019-2023) in Canada, and Quebec, and was distributed by DHX Media (DHX Studios, and WildBrain) (Seasons 1-2) (2016-2019) in Canada, and Quebec, Story Media Group (Seasons 3-5) (2019-2023) in Canada, and Quebec, and Nelvana (Seasons 3-5) (2019-2023) in Canada, and Quebec, and was streamed on YouTube (YouTube Kids (Seasons 1-5) (2016-2023), and WildBrain (Seasons 1-2) (2016-2019)), and was debuted on November 24, 2016, and ended on August 18, 2023, for the third revival series. The show was aimed at toddlers, and preschoolers, and from ages 2 to 5.&lt;br&gt;'''''[[w:Caillou|Caillou (2024)]]''''' (2022 (specials), 2024 (series)) is a French-English language Canadian-Quebecois-British-American-French preschool 3D animated (3D CGI animation) educational television series reboot. The show was produced by Mainframe Studios in Canada, and Quebec, and Splash Entertainment in the United States, and the United Kingdom, Cyber Group Studios in France, Cyber Group Studios USA in the United States, and CyberSplash Entertainment in France, the United States, the United Kingdom, Italy, and Singapore, was aired on Peacock (Peacock Kids) in English, in the United States, and Family Jr. in English, in Canada, and Telemagino in French, and in Canada, and Quebec, and was debuted on February 15, 2024, and ended on December 5, 2024, for the reboot, and fourth revival series. The show was aimed at toddlers, and preschoolers, and from ages 2 to 5.

==Seasons==
===Original series (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)===
====Classic series (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)====
=====Original series (1997-2003)=====
* [[Caillou (Season 1)|Season 1]] (1997-1998)
* [[Caillou (Season 2)|Season 2]] (2000)
* [[Caillou (Season 3)|Season 3]] (2002-2003)
* [[Caillou's Holiday Movie]] (2003)

=====Revival series (2006, 2010-2011)=====
======First revival series (2006)======
* [[Caillou (Season 4)|Season 4]] (2006)
======Second revival series (2010-2011)======
* [[Caillou (Season 5)|Season 5]] (2010-2011)
===PBS series (1999 (Pilot (Unaired)); 2000-2003 (Original), 2006-2007, 2013 (Revival) (Official))===
====Pilot (1999) (Unaired)====
* [[Caillou (Pilot) (PBS)|Pilot]] (1999) (Unaired)
====Official series (2000-2003, 2006-2007, 2013)====
=====Original series (2000-2003)=====
* [[Caillou (Season 1) (PBS)|Season 1]] (2000-2001)
* [[Caillou (Season 2) (PBS)|Season 2]] (2000-2001)
* [[Caillou (Season 3) (PBS)|Season 3]] (2003)
* [[Caillou's Holiday Movie]] (2003)

=====Revival series (2006-2013)=====
======First revival series (2006-2007)======
* [[Caillou (Season 4) (PBS)|Season 4]] (2006-2007)
* [[Caillou (Season 5) (PBS)|Season 5]] (2006-2007)
======Second revival series (2013)======
* [[Caillou (Season 6) (PBS)|Season 6]] (2013)

===Third revival series (2016-2023)===
====Caillou's New Adventures (2016-2023)====
* [[Caillou's New Adventures (Season 1)|Season 1]] (2016-2018)
* [[Caillou's New Adventures (Season 2)|Season 2]] (2018-2019)
* [[Caillou's New Adventures (Season 3)|Season 3]] (2019-2020)
* [[Caillou's New Adventures (Season 4)|Season 4]] (2020-2021)
* [[Caillou's New Adventures (Season 5)|Season 5]] (2022-2023)
===Reboot series (2022, 2024)===
====Fourth revival series (2022, 2024)====
* [[Caillou: Rosie the Giant]] (2022)
* [[Caillou: Adventures with Grandma and Grandpa]] (2022)
* [[Caillou: The Bravest Wolf Boy]] (2022)
* [[Caillou: The Silver Knight]] (2022)
* [[Caillou's Perfect Christmas]] (2022)
* [[Caillou (2024) (Season 1)|Season 1]] (2024)

==External links==
* {{IMDb title|id=0262153|title=Caillou}}</text>
      <sha1>0mtt9abq3m7avfwo1elddjeak0caavg</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944107</id>
      <parentid>3943992</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T01:47:11Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944107</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="8766" sha1="by21jp9ycuk2v4406xb2qv2t8batjqu" xml:space="preserve">'''''[[w:Caillou|Caillou (1997)]]''''' (pre-produced 1993-2003, produced: 1996-2003, aired: 1997-2003 (original); pre-produced: 2002-2006; produced: 2005-2006, aired: 2006 (first revival); pre-produced: 2006-2011; produced: 2009-2011, aired: 2010-2011 (second revival) (classic) (original); pre-produced: 1996-2003, produced: 1999-2003, aired: 2000-2003 (original); pre-produced: 2002-2007; produced: 2005-2007; 2006-2007 (first revival); pre-produced: 2009-2013; produced: 2012-2013; aired: 2013 (second revival) (official) (PBS)) is a French (Seasons 1-5) (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)-English (Seasons 1-5) (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)-Chinese (Season 3) (2002-2003)-Afrikaans (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Zulu (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Xhosa (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Tswana (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Tsonga (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Swati (Season 5) (2010-2011)-Venda (Season 5) (2010-2011) language Canadian (Seasons 1-5) (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)-Quebecois (Seasons 1-5) (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)-American (Seasons 2-4) (2000-2003, 2006)-Mandarin Chinese (Season 3) (2002-2003)-Chinese (Season 3) (2002-2003)-Hong Kong Cantonese (Season 3) (2002-2003)-South African (Season 5) (2010-2011) preschool 2D animated (traditional, hand-drawn 2D animation (Seasons 1-3) (1997-2003) (traditional, hand-inked, hand-painted, and hand-colored cel animation (Season 1) (1997-1998)/digital inking-and-painting, and coloring animation (Seasons 1-3) (1997-2003))/2D Flash animation (Seasons 4-5) (2006, 2010-2011) (Adobe Flash (Season 4) (2006)/Adobe Flash Professional (Season 4) (2006)/Adobe Flash Player (Season 4) (2006))/Toon Boom Animation (Season 5) (2010-2011) (Toon Boom Harmony (Season 5) (2010-2011))/Cutout animation (Season 5) (2010-2011)/Puppet animation (Season 5) (2010-2011))-live-action (Seasons 1-3) (1997-2003) educational television series where an imaginative 4-year old boy learns lessons and searches around him. The show was produced by Caillou Productions (Season 1) (1997)/Four Me Productions (Seasons 2-3) (2000-2003), a subsidiary of CINAR (Seasons 1-3) (1997-2003) (CINAR Films (Season 1) (1997-1998)/CINAR Corporation (Seasons 2-3) (2000-2003)) in Canada, and Quebec, and later 9 Story Entertainment (Season 4) (2006) (after CINAR was rebranded as Cookie Jar between 2004 and 2006), and Nelvana (Season 4) (2006) in Canada, and Quebec, and 9161-0345 Quebec (Season 5) (2010-2011), a subsidiary corporation of Sardine Productions (Season 5) (2010-2011) in Canada, and Quebec, and was co-produced by Shanghai Animation Film Studio (Season 3) (2002-2003) in China, and Mainland China, and Animation Services (Hong Kong), Ltd. (Season 3) (2002-2003) in China, and Hong Kong, and later Clockwork Zoo (Season 5) (2010-2011) in South Africa, and was distributed by CINAR (Seasons 1-3) (1997-2003) (CINAR Films (Season 1) (1997-1998)/CINAR Corporation (Seasons 2-3) (2000-2003)) in Canada, and Quebec, and later 9 Story Entertainment (Season 4) (2006) (after CINAR was rebranded as Cookie Jar between 2004 and 2006), and Nelvana (Season 4) (2006) in Canada, and Quebec, and was aired on Teletoon (Seasons 1-4) (1997-2003, 2006) in French, and English, in Canada, and in French, in Quebec, Tele-Quebec (Seasons 1-4) (1997-2003, 2006) in French, in Canada, and Quebec, and Citytv (Seasons 1-4) (1997-2003, 2006), and CTV Television Network (Seasons 1-4) (1997-2003, 2006) in English, in Canada, and later on TFO (Mega TFO) (Season 5) (2010-2011), and TV5 Quebec Canada (Season 5) (2010-2011) in French, in Canada, and Quebec, and Global Television Network (Season 5) (2010-2011), TVOntario/TVO (TVOKids) (Season 5) (2010-2011), and Treehouse TV (Season 5) (2010-2011) in English, in Canada, and later aired on PBS (PBS Kids) (Seasons 1-6) (2000-2003, 2006-2013) (PBS Kids Go! (Seasons 3-6) (2006-2007, 2013), and PBS Kids Preschool Block (Seasons 4-6) (2006-2007, 2013)) in English, in the United States, and was debuted on September 15, 1997, and ended on January 18, 2002, for the original series, for the classic series, for the original series, and was later debuted on January 13, 2006, and ended on January 22, 2006, for the first revival series, for the classic series, for the original series, and then was debuted on September 11, 2010, and ended on September 23, 2010, for the second revival series, for the classic series, for the original series, and later debuted on September 4, 2000, and ended on January 5, 2003, for the original series, for the official series, for the PBS series, and was later debuted on April 1, 2006, and ended on September 28, 2006, for the first revival series, for the official series, for the PBS series, and then was debuted March 11, 2013, and ended on March 17, 2013, for the second revival series, for the official series, for the PBS series. The show was aimed at toddlers, and preschoolers, but adults (for banned/censored episodes), and from ages 2 to 5, but from ages 18 to 21 (for banned/censored episodes).&lt;br&gt;'''''[[w:Caillou|Caillou's New Adventures]]''''' (2016-2023) is a French-English language Canadian-Quebecois preschool 2D animated (2D Flash animation) educational web series. The show was produced by DHX Media (DHX Studios, and WildBrain) (Seasons 1-2) (2016-2019) in Canada, and Quebec, 9 Story Media Group (Seasons 3-5) (2019-2023) in Canada, and Quebec, and Nelvana (Seasons 3-5) (2019-2023) in Canada, and Quebec, and was distributed by DHX Media (DHX Studios, and WildBrain) (Seasons 1-2) (2016-2019) in Canada, and Quebec, Story Media Group (Seasons 3-5) (2019-2023) in Canada, and Quebec, and Nelvana (Seasons 3-5) (2019-2023) in Canada, and Quebec, and was streamed on YouTube (YouTube Kids (Seasons 1-5) (2016-2023), and WildBrain (Seasons 1-2) (2016-2019)), and was debuted on November 24, 2016, and ended on August 18, 2023, for the third revival series. The show was aimed at toddlers, and preschoolers, and from ages 2 to 5.&lt;br&gt;'''''[[w:Caillou|Caillou (2024)]]''''' (2022 (specials), 2024 (series)) is a French-English language Canadian-Quebecois-British-American-French preschool 3D animated (3D CGI animation) educational television series reboot. The show was produced by Mainframe Studios in Canada, and Quebec, and Splash Entertainment in the United States, and the United Kingdom, Cyber Group Studios in France, Cyber Group Studios USA in the United States, and CyberSplash Entertainment in France, the United States, the United Kingdom, Italy, and Singapore, was aired on Peacock (Peacock Kids) in English, in the United States, and Family Jr. in English, in Canada, and Telemagino in French, and in Canada, and Quebec, and was debuted on February 15, 2024, and ended on December 5, 2024, for the reboot, and fourth revival series. The show was aimed at toddlers, and preschoolers, and from ages 2 to 5.

==Seasons==
===Original series (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)===
====Classic series (1997-2003, 2006, 2010-2011)====
=====Original series (1997-2003)=====
* [[Caillou (Season 1)|Season 1]] (1997-1998)
* [[Caillou (Season 2)|Season 2]] (2000)
* [[Caillou (Season 3)|Season 3]] (2002-2003)
* [[Caillou's Holiday Movie]] (2003)

=====Revival series (2006, 2010-2011)=====
======First revival series (2006)======
* [[Caillou (Season 4)|Season 4]] (2006)
======Second revival series (2010-2011)======
* [[Caillou (Season 5)|Season 5]] (2010-2011)
===PBS series (2000-2003 (Original), 2006-2007, 2013 (Revival) (Official))===
====Official series (2000-2003, 2006-2007, 2013)====
=====Original series (2000-2003)=====
* [[Caillou (Season 1) (PBS)|Season 1]] (2000-2001)
* [[Caillou (Season 2) (PBS)|Season 2]] (2000-2001)
* [[Caillou (Season 3) (PBS)|Season 3]] (2003)
* [[Caillou's Holiday Movie]] (2003)

=====Revival series (2006-2013)=====
======First revival series (2006-2007)======
* [[Caillou (Season 4) (PBS)|Season 4]] (2006-2007)
* [[Caillou (Season 5) (PBS)|Season 5]] (2006-2007)
======Second revival series (2013)======
* [[Caillou (Season 6) (PBS)|Season 6]] (2013)

===Third revival series (2016-2023)===
====Caillou's New Adventures (2016-2023)====
* [[Caillou's New Adventures (Season 1)|Season 1]] (2016-2018)
* [[Caillou's New Adventures (Season 2)|Season 2]] (2018-2019)
* [[Caillou's New Adventures (Season 3)|Season 3]] (2019-2020)
* [[Caillou's New Adventures (Season 4)|Season 4]] (2020-2021)
* [[Caillou's New Adventures (Season 5)|Season 5]] (2022-2023)
===Reboot series (2022, 2024)===
====Fourth revival series (2022, 2024)====
* [[Caillou: Rosie the Giant]] (2022)
* [[Caillou: Adventures with Grandma and Grandpa]] (2022)
* [[Caillou: The Bravest Wolf Boy]] (2022)
* [[Caillou: The Silver Knight]] (2022)
* [[Caillou's Perfect Christmas]] (2022)
* [[Caillou (2024) (Season 1)|Season 1]] (2024)

==External links==
* {{IMDb title|id=0262153|title=Caillou}}</text>
      <sha1>by21jp9ycuk2v4406xb2qv2t8batjqu</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>287154</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944078</id>
      <parentid>3920913</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T23:06:54Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* &quot;Launch&quot; */</comment>
      <origin>3944078</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="26624" sha1="tliukikuvua1687x0a63a566tapxx7a" xml:space="preserve">{{Italic title}}'''''[[w:She-Ra and the Princesses of Power|She-Ra and the Princesses of Power]]''''' is an American animated television series developed for [[w:Netflix|Netflix]] by [[w:ND Stevenson|ND Stevenson]] and produced by [[w:DreamWorks Animation Television|DreamWorks Animation Television]]. Like the 1985 [[w:Filmation|Filmation]] series ''[[w:She-Ra: Princess of Power|She-Ra: Princess of Power]]'', of which it is a [[w:Reboot (fiction)|reboot]], ''She-Ra and the Princesses of Power'' tells the tale of [[w:Adora|Adora]], an adolescent girl who can transform into the heroine She-Ra and leads a group of other magical [[princess]]es in a rebellion against the evil Lord Hordak and his Horde.

The series ran on Netflix from November 13, 2018, to May 15, 2020, having released 52 episodes over 5 seasons. On linear TV, the show previously aired on CBBC in the United Kingdom, before it moved to Pop on January 30, 2023. It also aired on Disney Channel and DreamWorks Channel across the globe.
{{Stub}}

==Season 1==
===&quot;The Sword, Part 1&quot;===
:'''Catra''': Hey, Adora. How's it hanging?
:'''Adora''': Catra. Did you really show up late and let us do all the hard parts? That is low, even for you.
:'''Catra''': Aw. You know nothing's too low for me. Come on, you look stupid hanging down there.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Catra''': ''[Laughing]'' You should've seen your face. You were like, &quot;Aah, no! Betrayal.&quot;
:'''Adora''': ''[Scoffs]'' Come on, Catra. We're senior cadets now. I can't believe you're still pulling such childish, immature-- ''(abruptly)'' Is that a mouse?!
:'''Catra''': What!? Where!?
:'''Adora''': ''[Laughing]'' Are you ever going to not fall for that?
:'''Catra''': I don't know. Are you ever going to let it go? That was one time.
:'''Adora''': I know, but for some reason it's always funny. 
:'''Shadow Weaver''': ''[from off-screen]'' Adora. ''[Adora stands at her attention, between Catra. Weaver comes in]''
:'''Adora''': ''[saluting her]'' Shadow Weaver.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Angella''': That's enough! You're grounded.
:'''Glimmer''': ''[Scoffs]'' Mom!
:'''Angella''': You heard me!
:'''Glimmer''': You never let me do anything!

===&quot;The Sword, Part 2&quot;===
''(Adora transforms into She-Ra for the first time)''
:'''Bow''': Glimmer?
:'''Glimmer''': Yeah, I see her, Bow.
:'''Bow''': Okay. I wanted to make sure it wasn't just me.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
''[A Horde robot appears. Adora takes the sword as the robot races forward.]''
:'''Adora''': For the honor of Grayskull!
''[she transforms into She-Ra, and slices the robot in half. She-Ra glances back at Glimmer. Meanwhile, Bow and Catra fight. Bow flings Catra off and runs to the horse. Horde robots and tanks surround him.]''
:'''Bow''': It's been an honor serving beside you, Horsey.
''[Catra smiles as they close in, but She-Ra intervenes, and defeats the robots and tanks. Catra observes wearing a grim expression]''
:'''Glimmer:''' Bow! Are you okay?
:'''Bow:''' Is that Adora? 
:'''Glimmer''': It's She-Ra.
:'''Horde soldier''': Retreat! 
''[all screaming; The Horde retreats. The light flickers as She-Ra morphs back into Adora. She collapses on her knees, the sword in her right hand. As the smoke clears, Catra faces Adora.]''
:'''Adora''': Catra...
''[Catra backs away and disappears. Bow leaps on Adora.]''
:'''Bow''': You did it!
:'''Adora''': I did?
:'''Glimmer''': You saved us. You saved everyone!
:'''Adora''': ''[chuckles]'' I did it. I turned against the Horde. I turned against the Horde! Why did I do that? I can't go back now. Where am I supposed to go?
:'''Glimmer''': Hey, hey. It's okay. You're with us now. C’mon, let's go home. ''[Adora smiles and takes Glimmer's hand. They walk off with their arms around each other. Bow grins.]'' Best-friends squad!
''[The horse follows them.]''
:'''Bow''': Wait, whose horse was this?

===&quot;Razz&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': Eh... Bow, maybe you should take Adora in the back way?
:'''Bow''': Oh, yeah. Good call.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Adora''': ''[kneels and offers Angella the sword]'' I know you have no reason to trust me, Your Majesty. But I’ve seen for myself the atrocities the Horde has committed against the people of Etheria, and I’m ready to fight to stop them. If you give me the chance, I know I can help the Rebellion turn the tide of the war.
:'''Angella''': ''[takes the sword]'' I know the legend of the warrior the First Ones called She-Ra. They said she would return to us in the hour of our greatest need to bring balance to Etheria. I never thought she was anything more than a myth. And yet, you’re here now. And in the uniform of a Horde soldier, no less. You would pledge to stand with us against those you once served?
:'''Adora''': ''[sighs]'' Yes.
:'''Angella''': Glimmer, you would vouch for her and take responsibility for her?
:'''Glimmer''': Yes.
:'''Angella''': Then rise. The Rebellion accepts your allegiance, She-Ra, Princess of Power.
''[Angella returns the sword to Adora.]''
:'''Crowd''': ''[all chanting]'' She-Ra! She-Ra! She-Ra!
:'''Glimmer''': ''[shouts and hugs Adora]'' Welcome to Bright Moon!
:'''Bow''': ''[hugs]'' But for real this time.

===&quot;Flowers for She-Ra&quot;===
:'''Bow''': ''[Perfuma has conjured up a bead of flowers around Bow's forehead]'' Ooooh, I get a hat!

===&quot;The Sea Gate&quot;===
:'''Angella''': Council, we're looking for plans to strengthen our defenses against the Horde. Who would like to go first?
''[Glimmer's hand shoots up.]''
:'''Glimmer''': Me, me, me. Me. Me, me.
''[Angella sighs.]''
:'''Angella''': Who besides Glimmer would like to go first?

===&quot;System Failure&quot;===
:'''Entrapta''': You're lucky I found you. I designed the castle as a labyrinth. I'm the only one who can navigate it.
:'''Glimmer''': Which means you can help us find our friend?
:'''Entrapta''': Absolutely.
:'''She-Ra''': Is she sure about that?
:'''Glimmer''': Hi, um, I think we passed this picture already.
:'''Entrapta''': Oh, isn't it cute? You might be right. I usually have my electronic map to get around. But, well, like my bots it's sort of evil right now.
:'''Glimmer''': Yeah, about that-
:'''She-Ra''': Why did you invent killer robots?
:'''Entrapta''': You're abnormally tall. Hello! I like your sword. It's First Ones tech, right? Can I touch it?
:'''She-Ra''': Uh, thank you, yes, and no, not right now.
:'''Glimmer''': About the killer robots?
:'''Entrapta''': They didn't start out that way. Usually they're super useful. They do almost everything for me. Cleaning, filing, basic hygiene. Oh, and they're sound activated. Here, I'll show you!

===&quot;In the Shadows of Mystacor&quot;===
:'''Castaspella''': Adora. How nice, Glimmer has finally started making some new friends. We were all so pleased when she started bringing Bow around, I was sure she had made him up at first. ''[laughs]''

===&quot;Princess Prom&quot;===
:'''Adora''': Uh, hey, guys, I got an invite to the All Princess Ball, Winter Wonderland. Do you know what this is?
:'''Bow''' and '''Glimmer''': Princess Prom! Princess Prom! Princess Prom! We are going to Princess Prom!

===&quot;No Princess Left Behind&quot;===
:'''Kyle''': Eh... I'd better be leaving no.
:'''Bow''': No! Wait!
:'''Kyle''': I like your shirt.
:'''Bow''': Kyle!

===&quot;The Beacon&quot;===
:'''Adora''': ''[sadly]'' How could I let this happen? 
:'''Bow''': Adora, it’s not your fault. 
:'''Adora''': It IS my fault. Entrapta’s gone because of my plan.
:'''Mermista''': This only happened because we were all together. 
:'''Perfuma''': ''[with tears in her eyes]'' Mermista’s right, being together makes us vulnerable.

===&quot;Promise&quot;===
:'''Young Catra''': ''[sniffles and grunts]'' Does it look broken to you?! ''[sniffs a few times]''
:'''Young Adora''': ''[incredulous, almost laughingly]'' It's not broken, you're fine!
:'''Young Catra''': ''[looks at her hand where she touched her nose and shrieks]'' I'm bleeding!
:'''Young Adora''': You're not bleeding! And why would you try and pick a fight with Octavia anyway?
:'''Young Catra''': I didn't do anything, all I did was exist near her. ...And scratch her on the eyeball. And call her a dumbface.
:'''Young Adora''': ''[scoffs]'' Catra--
:'''Young Catra''': What?! She has a dumb face!
:'''Young Adora''': ''[lowers voice in a disarming, complying way; offers her hand]'' Where is she?
''[Young Catra takes Young Adora's hand and leads them to a different room, pointing down at Octavia]''
:'''Young Adora''': Hey, Octavia! ''[Octavia looks up and grunts an acknowledgement]'' You're a dumbface!
''[Octavia roars angrily, stomping up the ramp to chase the kids]''
:'''Young Catra''': ''[laughing]'' She's coming!
:'''Young Adora''': Run!
''[The kids run away holding hands and laughing]''

===&quot;Light Hope&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': But shouldn't she be ''[glitches and grunts]'' back by now? She said she was gonna ''[glitches and grunts]'' get training to ''[glitches and grunts]'' fix me! How long is that going to take--''[runs into chair, chair squeaks across floor]'' OW! ''[sharp intake of breath]'' And what kind of monster puts a chair here?!
:'''Bow''': Okay, I'm worried, too, Glimmer, but taking it out on the furniture isn't going to help.
:'''Glimmer''': We can't sit here and hope that she comes back eventually. We have to do something.
:'''Bow''': Like what?
''[knocking on door]''
:'''Guard''': Princess? There's, uh, something here to see you.
:'''Glimmer''': Don't you mean someone?
:'''Guard''': No. I mean something.
''[Swift Wind clops and whinnies down the hallway]''
:'''Bow''': Our horse!
:'''Swift Wind''': I am my own horse. Call me ''[in a deeper, more regal voice]'' Swift Wind!
''[Glimmer and Bow scream]''
:'''Bow''': Our horse can talk! ''[gasps]''
:'''Swift Wind''': Yeah, yeah, I can speak my mind now, pretty crazy--SO, I was thinking--
:'''Bow''': He's a talking hoOoOoOrse!
:'''Swift Wind''': As we've established. Now--
:'''Glimmer''': He has wings!
:'''Swift Wind''': Okay, I'll give you a moment to freak out, and then we need to talk.
''[Glimmer and Bow both gasping]''
:'''Swift Wind''': ''[blusters]'' --Great! I think Adora needs our help. Since Adora transformed me, I've been able to feel where she is at all times. It's like instinct. But now I feel a pull, as if I'm being summoned to her side. ''[Bow touches Swift Wind's wing and gasps ecstatically]'' As part of Adora's herd, I need your help. Will you come?
''[Glimmer glitches, then hums resolutely]''
:'''Glimmer''': Of course. Lead the way.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Light Hope''': ''[Distorted, pitch shifting randomly]'' The Horde is hurting us. Balance Etheria.
:'''Adora''': ''[desperately, panicking]'' Light Hope? Light Hope, come back! I don't--I don't know what to do.
:'''Swift Wind''': ''[disembodied, hauntingly]'' Adoraa...''[normally]'' Adora!
:'''Adora''': Our horse?
:'''Swift Wind''': Once again, I'm no one's horse. I'm Swift Wind.
:'''Adora''': ''[shocked]'' You can talk?
:'''Swift Wind''': Yes, I can talk.
:'''Adora''': ''[still shocked]'' You can ''talk''?
:'''Swift Wind''': I can see now why you're friends with Bow and Glimmer. They need your help, which is why I'm here. So.... which way's the exit?
:'''Adora''': I don't know. Light Hope disappeared and I-I don't know if I should go back.
:'''Swift Wind''': What do you mean?
:'''Adora''': Light Hope said if I leave here, I'll make things worse. She's right. Everyone will be better off if I just stay far away from them. It's-It's for the greater good.
:'''Swift Wind''': ''[deadpans]'' Well, that's just stupid.
:'''Adora''': ''[incredulous]'' What? No, it's not.
:'''Swift Wind''': Adora, I've had the ability to form complex thought for like...a week, and even I know you can't help anyone by hiding. Where would all the horses I freed from their barns be if I just sat in a pasture and moped?
:'''Adora''': ''[scoffing]'' I am not moping... ''[Swift Wind blusters]'' I'm not! I hurt people, I ruined my friends' lives!
:'''Swift Wind''': If that's true, then why are Bow and Glimmer here trying to rescue you? ''[Hologram of Bow and Glimmer fighting off the spiders and holding Adora in reality]'' Bow and Glimmer are risking their lives. Not because you're She-Ra, but because you're their friend. What good is all your power if you don't use it to help the people that you love?
:'''Adora''': ...I'm not Mara. I'm not the She-Ras of the past. I didn't do this to fulfill some destiny. I became She-Ra to help others. My attachments, my friends, are a part of who I am.
:'''Swift Wind''': So. Are you staying? Or going?
:'''Adora''': Let's go.

===&quot;The Battle of Bright Moon&quot;===
:'''Angella''': Go on. Go get them.
''[Glimmer then teleports away, whilst Queen Angella cultivates the Stone.]''
:'''Glimmer''': YES!
:'''Bow''': Ha Ha, Glimmer! You're sparkling again!
:'''Glimmer''': Yeah! What I miss?
:'''Adora''': The Princesses are united! This is how it's supposed to be.
:'''Mermista''': What do you say? Ready to finish this?
:'''Perfuma''': ''[laughs]'' Thought you'd never ask.
:'''Netossa''': We're in.
:'''Frosta''': Let's do this already!

==Season 2==
===&quot;The Frozen Forest&quot;===
''(after Adora / She-Ra undergoes a VR training where she fights a virtual Catra)''
:'''Adora''': Did you have to make her so mean?
:'''Light Hope''': The simulation is designed for total accuracy. Is the one you call Catra not mean?
:'''Adora''': No. She is.
:'''Light Hope''': There. There. ''(Attempts to pat Adora on the head but her hand just goes through)''

===&quot;Ties That Bind&quot;===
:'''Adora''': Hey guys. You'll never guess what Swift Wind and I did today. We restored a First Ones' Watchtower so Light Hope can balance the planet, and we brought a whole field back to life and... What happened to you?
:'''Glimmer''': Oh Adora, we've got a lot to catch you up on.

===&quot;Signals&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': We'll handle this the way we always do.
:'''Adora''': Brute strength?
:'''Swift Wind''': Almost dying?
:'''Glimmer''': No. And no. By sticking together and never giving up.
:'''Bow''': Yeah! Best Friend Quad to the rescue!

===&quot;Roll With It&quot;===
:'''Scorpia''': Move those big weapony things! Flap those banners! Uh, keep doing whatever you're doing, guy I'm pointing at! Now do a different thing! And look sharp!

===&quot;White Out&quot;===
:'''Adora''': Wow, you sure are a big bug.

===&quot;Light Spinner&quot;===
''[Episode opens on Light Spinner and multiple teenagers practicing magic.]''
:'''Micah''': Woah...
:'''Light Spinner''': Impressive casting, Micah. But you allow yourself to become distracted.
:'''Kids''': Oooooooh
:'''Micah''': You can't expect me to out-cast Light Spinner; the greatest sorceress to ever walk the halls of Mystacor.
:'''Light Spinner''': I have no time for your flattery. If you're going to interrupt my lessons, you might at least apply yourself. I want focus as you cast your illusions.

===&quot;Reunion&quot;===
:'''Bow''': On one of our missions, we received a message from an unknown source. If we knew what Serenia meant, I think we could figure out the rest.
:'''Lance''': “Serenia, portal, Mara” Okay. But what are these other words?
:'''Adora''': I don't know. It's too degraded to read.
:'''George''': Wait a second. Lance, what does this pattern look like?
:'''Lance''': ''(gasps)'' Oh, I think you're right.
:'''Bow''': What is it?
:'''George''': Look at it, Bow. Really look at it. What do you see?
:'''Bow''': These aren't words at all, are they?
:'''Lance''': Oh, now you've got it. George, get the projector.
:'''George''': The world of the First Ones was different from ours. Climate, language, even the sky was different, filled with cosmic formations they called...
:'''Adora''': Stars!

==Season 3==
===&quot;The Price of Power&quot;===
:'''Castaspella''': Now for the last time, tell us what you know. ''(truth spell hums)''
:'''Shadow Weaver''': I know that when you cast a truth spell, you should make sure you've drawn it correctly. Sloppy work. Are you sure you're Micah's sister?
:'''Castaspella''': ''(growls)''
:'''Angella''': She's trying to get under our skin.
:'''Shadow Weaver''': You could spare yourself the trouble if you would just let me talk to Adora.
:'''Angella''': No, you've put that girl through enough. Now tell us the truth. Why did the Horde send you here? What are you planning?
:'''Shadow Weaver''': ''(laughs)'' You think Hordak sent me? I ''escaped'' from Hordak and paid the price for it.

===&quot;Huntara&quot;===
:'''Entrapta''': Imperfection is beautiful! At least, to me.

===&quot;Once Upon a Time in the Waste&quot;===
:'''Catra''': Shadow Weaver left me for you, all of this happened because of you.

===&quot;Moment of Truth&quot;===
:'''Adora''': You! You took me away from my family when I was a baby! You lied to me my whole life, about the Princesses, about Etheria, about who I am!
:'''Hordak''': I could not have lied to you about who you are. Because I have never known nor cared about someone as inconsequential as you.
:'''Adora''': ''(shouts)'' You should care, because I'm the one who's gonna make sure you fail!
:'''Hordak''': I will not fail. You have no power to stop me. I am opening that portal. And I am going to use your own sword to wipe out the rest of you pathetic Rebellion once and for –
''[Hordak's suit glitches, as he grunts]''
:'''Entrapta''': Oh.
:'''Hordak''': Get it to work.

===&quot;Remember&quot;===
: '''Adora''': It’s all my fault. I’ve been so afraid of becoming another Mara. Destroying the world the way she did…and now…it’s happening.
''[Adora grunts as Razz hits her with Broom]''
: '''Razz''': Destroy the world? ''[Chuckles]'' No. Mara saved the world, and so will you. But you can’t waste any more time. You need to go back to the beginning. You need to find the sword. That is the only way this will stop!
: '''Adora''': I did that, didn’t I? I went back to the Fright Zone. The portal wasn’t there!
: '''Razz''': No, that wasn’t the beginning. You need to go back to the very beginning.
: '''Adora''': I-I-I don’t understand.
: '''Razz''': That’s all right, dearie. You don’t need to understand. You just need to remember.
''[Trees crash as the portal glitching comes closer]''
: Adora: I have to remember…
: ''[Flashbacks of the Best Friend Squad]''
: '''Adora''': ''[Gasps]'' Bow and Glimmer. I need to find them!
: '''Razz''': Go on, dearie! Quickly!
''[The portal tears up the forest and Razz walks into it. Meanwhile, Catra groans as she climbs out of the abyss and walks on.]''

===&quot;The Portal&quot;===
:'''Queen Angella''': ''(last words)'' Take care of each other.
----
:'''Horde Prime''': ''(receiving Hordak's signal)'' So that's where you've been, little brother.

==Season 4==
===&quot;The Coronation&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': It's time for us to take back our home. Together we will push out the Horde, once and for all!

===&quot;The Valley of the Lost&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': ''[looks around as seaweed falls off her]'' Hey, you didn't save any bad guys for me! I made it here as soon as I could, I only got a little lost… in the ocean. ''[picks a piece of seaweed off herself]'' Aw. You should've waited for me.
:'''Adora''': ''[apologetically]'' Sorry… but we did get the ship! Your first mission as queen is a success!
:'''Glimmer''': ''[smiles]'' Hm.

===&quot;Flutterina&quot;===
''(episode opens having a dream)''
:'''Catra''': This time I am going to win! I don't care what it takes, We are opening that portal. Now!
:'''Entrapta''' (Dream): No! I won't, I need to tell Hordak; he'll understand! ''[shouting]''
:'''Catra''': Get her out of here!
:'''Entrapta''' (Dream): What did you do to me?
:'''Adora''' (Dream): Why did you do it?
''[Catra awakens from her dream gasping, shouting, then panting; Emily starts beeping]''
:'''Catra''': ''[shouts]'' Stay away from me!

===&quot;Pulse&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': You've been growing magic plants this whole time?! What do these do?
:'''Shadow Weaver''': Those are daises, I find them cheerful.

===&quot;Protocol&quot;===
''(Light Hope is reviewing a memory of herself with Mara)''
:'''Past Light Hope''': Pretty. Yes. They are aesthetically pleasing. Thank you for bringing them.
:'''Mara''': I thought they might liven the place up. It must be hard being stuck in here all the time.
:'''Past Light Hope''': I do not mind. Not when you come to visit me.
:'''Mara''': ''[laughing]''
:'''Light Hope''': This memory should have been purged per directive of the Heart of Etheria Project. Permantly delete.

===&quot;Princess Scorpia&quot;===
:'''Scorpia''': This guy...this is my granddad, the King. He was the greatest. I mean, that's what the Horde told me, anyway. I don't remember him, I was too young.

===&quot;Mer-Mysteries&quot;===
''[Inside the castle; fire crackles in the hearth as all the princesses, Bow, and Flutterina sit around a table; Glimmer stands in front of the fire]''
:'''Glimmer''': I called you all here to discuss what happened today. The mission to retake Dryl was a complete disaster. We barely made it out. ''[angrily]'' I wanna know why.
:'''Bow''': The Horde knew we were coming, they were ready for us. How do they keep doing this? We thought they were tracking Adora, but she wasn't even there today!
:'''Mermista''': Isn't it obvious? ''[slams hands down on table]'' There's a Horde spy somewhere in Bright Moon. ''[lightning crashes]'' ...And no one is going anywhere until we figure out who it is. ''[lightning crashes]''

===&quot;Boys' Night Out&quot;===
:'''Mermista''': ''(deadpan)'' Oh, look. More ice cream. 'Cause I'm the princess of ice cream now.

===&quot;Hero&quot;===
:'''Razz''': Oh, Mara ''[rubbing a gash presumably made by the sword in a tree]'' ...You were never supposed to succeed. ''[with tears in her eyes]'' They made a plan for you... ''[almost sobbing, tears falling]'' Razz could not do anything to help. ...I am sorry.

===&quot;Fractures&quot;===
:'''Catra''': Oh, I'm sorry, are you tired? We're all tired, but we're not going to rest until we have all of Etheria under our control. Everything is finally coming together. We're winning. So, get back out there. Problem?

===&quot;Beast Island&quot;===
:'''Micah''': Nothing will stop me from getting off this island and reuniting with my family!

===&quot;Destiny, Part 1&quot;===
:'''Catra:''' ''(to Hordak)'' Big Brother is going to be so impressed.

===&quot;Destiny, Part 2&quot;===
:'''Catra''': ''(belittling Hordak)'' Why would Horde Prime care about you? You're a defect, a mistake! Haven't you noticed I'm running things around here?
----
:'''Double Trouble''': ''(taunting Catra)'' People have hurt you. ''[Double Trouble takes Shadow Weaver’s form]'' They didn’t believe in you, ''[takes Hordak’s form]'' didn’t trust you, ''[takes Adora’s form]'' didn’t need you, left you. ''[Catra falls down and Double Trouble reverts to their true form]'' But did you ever stop to think that they're not the problem? ''[takes Scorpia’s form]'' It’s you; you drive them away, Wild Cat.

==Season 5==
===&quot;Horde Prime&quot;===
:'''Adora''': ''[quickly running and leaping, spinning and crashing her staff down on a drone as they scatter; shouting]'' For Etheria! ''[the drone begins to fly away, but Adora spins her staff again and impales it, making it buzz with electricity]''
''[The two Etherian civilians sigh in relief, then cry out in fear as another drone flies toward them; an arrow pierces and knocks down the drone]''
:'''Bow''': ''[leaping in and landing next to Adora; confidently]'' Two down.
''[A third drone flies upward and away before Swift Wind kicks it with a grunt, knocking it down]''
:'''Swift Wind''': And a whole Galactic Horde to go!

===&quot;Launch&quot;===
:'''Horde Prime''': Rejoice Etheria, for Prime has come to you. Do not fear for you have given the opportunity to share in a world soon to be remade in my image. But first, you must prove yourself worthy. Your leader, your She-Ra, she would see you suffering for her sake. Cast aside this false hero and deliver her to me. Prime sees all. Prime knows all. They will not escape my judgement.

===&quot;Corridors&quot;===

===&quot;Stranded&quot;===

===&quot;Save the Cat&quot;===

===&quot;Taking Control&quot;===

===&quot;The Perils of Peekablue&quot;===

===&quot;Shot in the Dark&quot;===

===&quot;An Ill Wind&quot;===

===&quot;Return to the Fright Zone&quot;===

===&quot;Failsafe&quot;===

===&quot;Heart, Part 1&quot;===

===&quot;Heart, Part 2&quot;===

==Shorts==
===''Swift Wind Adventures'' (2019)===
====&quot;Unicorn Warrior Training!&quot;====
''(after Swift Wind trains Plumerian warriors)''
:'''Adora''': Who's in trouble?
:'''Swift Wind''': No one! I saved the day.

====&quot;Arm Wrestling Revenge!&quot;====
:'''Purple bar patron''': ''(speaks in native language)''
:'''Mermista''': She says the boat goes to the winner, so...
''(scene shifts to the group sailing in the boat)''
:'''Swift Wind''': Another day is saved by Swift Wind. Good job crew. Let's fly!
:'''Mermista''': Woo! Go captain Swift Wind. ''(to Sea Hawk)'' You heard him, fly that boat.
:'''Sea Hawk''': Oh, so now you cheer.
:'''Swift Wind''': For the honor of Grayskull!

====&quot;A Princess Birthday Party!&quot;====
:'''Frosta''': ''(upon seeing Swift Wind, she squeals happily)'' You're letting me ride Swift Wind for my birthday? Awesome! Can we go right now?
:'''Adora''': ''(chuckles nervously; high-pitched voice)'' Sure.
''(next, She-Ra and Frosta are riding Swift Wind)''
:'''Frosta''': EeeeeEEEEEEEEEE! HA! HA! HA! OH! Woooo! ''(laughing)'' Yea! This is the best birthday, EVER!

====&quot;Grounded Glimmer Jailbreak!&quot;====
:'''Adora''': Glimmer was supposed to join our recon mission to Plumeria. She was intercepted in the throne room. It's time for operation &quot;Free Glimmer&quot;.
:'''Bow''': Where did they take her? The Fright Zone?
:'''Swift Wind''': It's worse than that. We're going to... Glimmer's bedroom.
:'''Bow''': Wait a minute, what?
:'''Adora''': Queen Angella grounded Glimmer.

====&quot;Horse Hero Transformation!&quot;====
:'''Adora''': You said, no regrets!
:'''Swift Wind''': I didn't have any then! I do now.
:'''Adora''': Well, we can't go back in time, so what's next?

===''Princess Rebel Recruitment'' (2019)===

====&quot;Bow Begins the Fight&quot;====

====&quot;Glimmer Wants YOU to Join&quot;====

====&quot;Meditation with Perfuma&quot;====

====&quot;Mermista is the Coolest&quot;====

====&quot;Entrapta Stole Bow's Tracker Pad&quot;====

====&quot;The Evil Horde is EVIL&quot;====

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
* [http://www.dreamworkstv.com/she-ra/ Official website] at DreamWorksTV
* [https://www.netflix.com/title/80179762 Official website] at [[Netflix]]
* {{IMDb title|id=7745956|title=She-Ra and the Princesses of Power}}
[[Category:American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American LGBT-related TV shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]]
[[Category:LGBT-related animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Netflix shows]]
[[Category:Television series reboots]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2018 television series debuts]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]</text>
      <sha1>tliukikuvua1687x0a63a566tapxx7a</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944081</id>
      <parentid>3944078</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T23:16:12Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* &quot;Corridors&quot; */</comment>
      <origin>3944081</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="28368" sha1="nsl21sm5gp121uvtc5h55yl0bp2n9kn" xml:space="preserve">{{Italic title}}'''''[[w:She-Ra and the Princesses of Power|She-Ra and the Princesses of Power]]''''' is an American animated television series developed for [[w:Netflix|Netflix]] by [[w:ND Stevenson|ND Stevenson]] and produced by [[w:DreamWorks Animation Television|DreamWorks Animation Television]]. Like the 1985 [[w:Filmation|Filmation]] series ''[[w:She-Ra: Princess of Power|She-Ra: Princess of Power]]'', of which it is a [[w:Reboot (fiction)|reboot]], ''She-Ra and the Princesses of Power'' tells the tale of [[w:Adora|Adora]], an adolescent girl who can transform into the heroine She-Ra and leads a group of other magical [[princess]]es in a rebellion against the evil Lord Hordak and his Horde.

The series ran on Netflix from November 13, 2018, to May 15, 2020, having released 52 episodes over 5 seasons. On linear TV, the show previously aired on CBBC in the United Kingdom, before it moved to Pop on January 30, 2023. It also aired on Disney Channel and DreamWorks Channel across the globe.
{{Stub}}

==Season 1==
===&quot;The Sword, Part 1&quot;===
:'''Catra''': Hey, Adora. How's it hanging?
:'''Adora''': Catra. Did you really show up late and let us do all the hard parts? That is low, even for you.
:'''Catra''': Aw. You know nothing's too low for me. Come on, you look stupid hanging down there.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Catra''': ''[Laughing]'' You should've seen your face. You were like, &quot;Aah, no! Betrayal.&quot;
:'''Adora''': ''[Scoffs]'' Come on, Catra. We're senior cadets now. I can't believe you're still pulling such childish, immature-- ''(abruptly)'' Is that a mouse?!
:'''Catra''': What!? Where!?
:'''Adora''': ''[Laughing]'' Are you ever going to not fall for that?
:'''Catra''': I don't know. Are you ever going to let it go? That was one time.
:'''Adora''': I know, but for some reason it's always funny. 
:'''Shadow Weaver''': ''[from off-screen]'' Adora. ''[Adora stands at her attention, between Catra. Weaver comes in]''
:'''Adora''': ''[saluting her]'' Shadow Weaver.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Angella''': That's enough! You're grounded.
:'''Glimmer''': ''[Scoffs]'' Mom!
:'''Angella''': You heard me!
:'''Glimmer''': You never let me do anything!

===&quot;The Sword, Part 2&quot;===
''(Adora transforms into She-Ra for the first time)''
:'''Bow''': Glimmer?
:'''Glimmer''': Yeah, I see her, Bow.
:'''Bow''': Okay. I wanted to make sure it wasn't just me.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
''[A Horde robot appears. Adora takes the sword as the robot races forward.]''
:'''Adora''': For the honor of Grayskull!
''[she transforms into She-Ra, and slices the robot in half. She-Ra glances back at Glimmer. Meanwhile, Bow and Catra fight. Bow flings Catra off and runs to the horse. Horde robots and tanks surround him.]''
:'''Bow''': It's been an honor serving beside you, Horsey.
''[Catra smiles as they close in, but She-Ra intervenes, and defeats the robots and tanks. Catra observes wearing a grim expression]''
:'''Glimmer:''' Bow! Are you okay?
:'''Bow:''' Is that Adora? 
:'''Glimmer''': It's She-Ra.
:'''Horde soldier''': Retreat! 
''[all screaming; The Horde retreats. The light flickers as She-Ra morphs back into Adora. She collapses on her knees, the sword in her right hand. As the smoke clears, Catra faces Adora.]''
:'''Adora''': Catra...
''[Catra backs away and disappears. Bow leaps on Adora.]''
:'''Bow''': You did it!
:'''Adora''': I did?
:'''Glimmer''': You saved us. You saved everyone!
:'''Adora''': ''[chuckles]'' I did it. I turned against the Horde. I turned against the Horde! Why did I do that? I can't go back now. Where am I supposed to go?
:'''Glimmer''': Hey, hey. It's okay. You're with us now. C’mon, let's go home. ''[Adora smiles and takes Glimmer's hand. They walk off with their arms around each other. Bow grins.]'' Best-friends squad!
''[The horse follows them.]''
:'''Bow''': Wait, whose horse was this?

===&quot;Razz&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': Eh... Bow, maybe you should take Adora in the back way?
:'''Bow''': Oh, yeah. Good call.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Adora''': ''[kneels and offers Angella the sword]'' I know you have no reason to trust me, Your Majesty. But I’ve seen for myself the atrocities the Horde has committed against the people of Etheria, and I’m ready to fight to stop them. If you give me the chance, I know I can help the Rebellion turn the tide of the war.
:'''Angella''': ''[takes the sword]'' I know the legend of the warrior the First Ones called She-Ra. They said she would return to us in the hour of our greatest need to bring balance to Etheria. I never thought she was anything more than a myth. And yet, you’re here now. And in the uniform of a Horde soldier, no less. You would pledge to stand with us against those you once served?
:'''Adora''': ''[sighs]'' Yes.
:'''Angella''': Glimmer, you would vouch for her and take responsibility for her?
:'''Glimmer''': Yes.
:'''Angella''': Then rise. The Rebellion accepts your allegiance, She-Ra, Princess of Power.
''[Angella returns the sword to Adora.]''
:'''Crowd''': ''[all chanting]'' She-Ra! She-Ra! She-Ra!
:'''Glimmer''': ''[shouts and hugs Adora]'' Welcome to Bright Moon!
:'''Bow''': ''[hugs]'' But for real this time.

===&quot;Flowers for She-Ra&quot;===
:'''Bow''': ''[Perfuma has conjured up a bead of flowers around Bow's forehead]'' Ooooh, I get a hat!

===&quot;The Sea Gate&quot;===
:'''Angella''': Council, we're looking for plans to strengthen our defenses against the Horde. Who would like to go first?
''[Glimmer's hand shoots up.]''
:'''Glimmer''': Me, me, me. Me. Me, me.
''[Angella sighs.]''
:'''Angella''': Who besides Glimmer would like to go first?

===&quot;System Failure&quot;===
:'''Entrapta''': You're lucky I found you. I designed the castle as a labyrinth. I'm the only one who can navigate it.
:'''Glimmer''': Which means you can help us find our friend?
:'''Entrapta''': Absolutely.
:'''She-Ra''': Is she sure about that?
:'''Glimmer''': Hi, um, I think we passed this picture already.
:'''Entrapta''': Oh, isn't it cute? You might be right. I usually have my electronic map to get around. But, well, like my bots it's sort of evil right now.
:'''Glimmer''': Yeah, about that-
:'''She-Ra''': Why did you invent killer robots?
:'''Entrapta''': You're abnormally tall. Hello! I like your sword. It's First Ones tech, right? Can I touch it?
:'''She-Ra''': Uh, thank you, yes, and no, not right now.
:'''Glimmer''': About the killer robots?
:'''Entrapta''': They didn't start out that way. Usually they're super useful. They do almost everything for me. Cleaning, filing, basic hygiene. Oh, and they're sound activated. Here, I'll show you!

===&quot;In the Shadows of Mystacor&quot;===
:'''Castaspella''': Adora. How nice, Glimmer has finally started making some new friends. We were all so pleased when she started bringing Bow around, I was sure she had made him up at first. ''[laughs]''

===&quot;Princess Prom&quot;===
:'''Adora''': Uh, hey, guys, I got an invite to the All Princess Ball, Winter Wonderland. Do you know what this is?
:'''Bow''' and '''Glimmer''': Princess Prom! Princess Prom! Princess Prom! We are going to Princess Prom!

===&quot;No Princess Left Behind&quot;===
:'''Kyle''': Eh... I'd better be leaving no.
:'''Bow''': No! Wait!
:'''Kyle''': I like your shirt.
:'''Bow''': Kyle!

===&quot;The Beacon&quot;===
:'''Adora''': ''[sadly]'' How could I let this happen? 
:'''Bow''': Adora, it’s not your fault. 
:'''Adora''': It IS my fault. Entrapta’s gone because of my plan.
:'''Mermista''': This only happened because we were all together. 
:'''Perfuma''': ''[with tears in her eyes]'' Mermista’s right, being together makes us vulnerable.

===&quot;Promise&quot;===
:'''Young Catra''': ''[sniffles and grunts]'' Does it look broken to you?! ''[sniffs a few times]''
:'''Young Adora''': ''[incredulous, almost laughingly]'' It's not broken, you're fine!
:'''Young Catra''': ''[looks at her hand where she touched her nose and shrieks]'' I'm bleeding!
:'''Young Adora''': You're not bleeding! And why would you try and pick a fight with Octavia anyway?
:'''Young Catra''': I didn't do anything, all I did was exist near her. ...And scratch her on the eyeball. And call her a dumbface.
:'''Young Adora''': ''[scoffs]'' Catra--
:'''Young Catra''': What?! She has a dumb face!
:'''Young Adora''': ''[lowers voice in a disarming, complying way; offers her hand]'' Where is she?
''[Young Catra takes Young Adora's hand and leads them to a different room, pointing down at Octavia]''
:'''Young Adora''': Hey, Octavia! ''[Octavia looks up and grunts an acknowledgement]'' You're a dumbface!
''[Octavia roars angrily, stomping up the ramp to chase the kids]''
:'''Young Catra''': ''[laughing]'' She's coming!
:'''Young Adora''': Run!
''[The kids run away holding hands and laughing]''

===&quot;Light Hope&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': But shouldn't she be ''[glitches and grunts]'' back by now? She said she was gonna ''[glitches and grunts]'' get training to ''[glitches and grunts]'' fix me! How long is that going to take--''[runs into chair, chair squeaks across floor]'' OW! ''[sharp intake of breath]'' And what kind of monster puts a chair here?!
:'''Bow''': Okay, I'm worried, too, Glimmer, but taking it out on the furniture isn't going to help.
:'''Glimmer''': We can't sit here and hope that she comes back eventually. We have to do something.
:'''Bow''': Like what?
''[knocking on door]''
:'''Guard''': Princess? There's, uh, something here to see you.
:'''Glimmer''': Don't you mean someone?
:'''Guard''': No. I mean something.
''[Swift Wind clops and whinnies down the hallway]''
:'''Bow''': Our horse!
:'''Swift Wind''': I am my own horse. Call me ''[in a deeper, more regal voice]'' Swift Wind!
''[Glimmer and Bow scream]''
:'''Bow''': Our horse can talk! ''[gasps]''
:'''Swift Wind''': Yeah, yeah, I can speak my mind now, pretty crazy--SO, I was thinking--
:'''Bow''': He's a talking hoOoOoOrse!
:'''Swift Wind''': As we've established. Now--
:'''Glimmer''': He has wings!
:'''Swift Wind''': Okay, I'll give you a moment to freak out, and then we need to talk.
''[Glimmer and Bow both gasping]''
:'''Swift Wind''': ''[blusters]'' --Great! I think Adora needs our help. Since Adora transformed me, I've been able to feel where she is at all times. It's like instinct. But now I feel a pull, as if I'm being summoned to her side. ''[Bow touches Swift Wind's wing and gasps ecstatically]'' As part of Adora's herd, I need your help. Will you come?
''[Glimmer glitches, then hums resolutely]''
:'''Glimmer''': Of course. Lead the way.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Light Hope''': ''[Distorted, pitch shifting randomly]'' The Horde is hurting us. Balance Etheria.
:'''Adora''': ''[desperately, panicking]'' Light Hope? Light Hope, come back! I don't--I don't know what to do.
:'''Swift Wind''': ''[disembodied, hauntingly]'' Adoraa...''[normally]'' Adora!
:'''Adora''': Our horse?
:'''Swift Wind''': Once again, I'm no one's horse. I'm Swift Wind.
:'''Adora''': ''[shocked]'' You can talk?
:'''Swift Wind''': Yes, I can talk.
:'''Adora''': ''[still shocked]'' You can ''talk''?
:'''Swift Wind''': I can see now why you're friends with Bow and Glimmer. They need your help, which is why I'm here. So.... which way's the exit?
:'''Adora''': I don't know. Light Hope disappeared and I-I don't know if I should go back.
:'''Swift Wind''': What do you mean?
:'''Adora''': Light Hope said if I leave here, I'll make things worse. She's right. Everyone will be better off if I just stay far away from them. It's-It's for the greater good.
:'''Swift Wind''': ''[deadpans]'' Well, that's just stupid.
:'''Adora''': ''[incredulous]'' What? No, it's not.
:'''Swift Wind''': Adora, I've had the ability to form complex thought for like...a week, and even I know you can't help anyone by hiding. Where would all the horses I freed from their barns be if I just sat in a pasture and moped?
:'''Adora''': ''[scoffing]'' I am not moping... ''[Swift Wind blusters]'' I'm not! I hurt people, I ruined my friends' lives!
:'''Swift Wind''': If that's true, then why are Bow and Glimmer here trying to rescue you? ''[Hologram of Bow and Glimmer fighting off the spiders and holding Adora in reality]'' Bow and Glimmer are risking their lives. Not because you're She-Ra, but because you're their friend. What good is all your power if you don't use it to help the people that you love?
:'''Adora''': ...I'm not Mara. I'm not the She-Ras of the past. I didn't do this to fulfill some destiny. I became She-Ra to help others. My attachments, my friends, are a part of who I am.
:'''Swift Wind''': So. Are you staying? Or going?
:'''Adora''': Let's go.

===&quot;The Battle of Bright Moon&quot;===
:'''Angella''': Go on. Go get them.
''[Glimmer then teleports away, whilst Queen Angella cultivates the Stone.]''
:'''Glimmer''': YES!
:'''Bow''': Ha Ha, Glimmer! You're sparkling again!
:'''Glimmer''': Yeah! What I miss?
:'''Adora''': The Princesses are united! This is how it's supposed to be.
:'''Mermista''': What do you say? Ready to finish this?
:'''Perfuma''': ''[laughs]'' Thought you'd never ask.
:'''Netossa''': We're in.
:'''Frosta''': Let's do this already!

==Season 2==
===&quot;The Frozen Forest&quot;===
''(after Adora / She-Ra undergoes a VR training where she fights a virtual Catra)''
:'''Adora''': Did you have to make her so mean?
:'''Light Hope''': The simulation is designed for total accuracy. Is the one you call Catra not mean?
:'''Adora''': No. She is.
:'''Light Hope''': There. There. ''(Attempts to pat Adora on the head but her hand just goes through)''

===&quot;Ties That Bind&quot;===
:'''Adora''': Hey guys. You'll never guess what Swift Wind and I did today. We restored a First Ones' Watchtower so Light Hope can balance the planet, and we brought a whole field back to life and... What happened to you?
:'''Glimmer''': Oh Adora, we've got a lot to catch you up on.

===&quot;Signals&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': We'll handle this the way we always do.
:'''Adora''': Brute strength?
:'''Swift Wind''': Almost dying?
:'''Glimmer''': No. And no. By sticking together and never giving up.
:'''Bow''': Yeah! Best Friend Quad to the rescue!

===&quot;Roll With It&quot;===
:'''Scorpia''': Move those big weapony things! Flap those banners! Uh, keep doing whatever you're doing, guy I'm pointing at! Now do a different thing! And look sharp!

===&quot;White Out&quot;===
:'''Adora''': Wow, you sure are a big bug.

===&quot;Light Spinner&quot;===
''[Episode opens on Light Spinner and multiple teenagers practicing magic.]''
:'''Micah''': Woah...
:'''Light Spinner''': Impressive casting, Micah. But you allow yourself to become distracted.
:'''Kids''': Oooooooh
:'''Micah''': You can't expect me to out-cast Light Spinner; the greatest sorceress to ever walk the halls of Mystacor.
:'''Light Spinner''': I have no time for your flattery. If you're going to interrupt my lessons, you might at least apply yourself. I want focus as you cast your illusions.

===&quot;Reunion&quot;===
:'''Bow''': On one of our missions, we received a message from an unknown source. If we knew what Serenia meant, I think we could figure out the rest.
:'''Lance''': “Serenia, portal, Mara” Okay. But what are these other words?
:'''Adora''': I don't know. It's too degraded to read.
:'''George''': Wait a second. Lance, what does this pattern look like?
:'''Lance''': ''(gasps)'' Oh, I think you're right.
:'''Bow''': What is it?
:'''George''': Look at it, Bow. Really look at it. What do you see?
:'''Bow''': These aren't words at all, are they?
:'''Lance''': Oh, now you've got it. George, get the projector.
:'''George''': The world of the First Ones was different from ours. Climate, language, even the sky was different, filled with cosmic formations they called...
:'''Adora''': Stars!

==Season 3==
===&quot;The Price of Power&quot;===
:'''Castaspella''': Now for the last time, tell us what you know. ''(truth spell hums)''
:'''Shadow Weaver''': I know that when you cast a truth spell, you should make sure you've drawn it correctly. Sloppy work. Are you sure you're Micah's sister?
:'''Castaspella''': ''(growls)''
:'''Angella''': She's trying to get under our skin.
:'''Shadow Weaver''': You could spare yourself the trouble if you would just let me talk to Adora.
:'''Angella''': No, you've put that girl through enough. Now tell us the truth. Why did the Horde send you here? What are you planning?
:'''Shadow Weaver''': ''(laughs)'' You think Hordak sent me? I ''escaped'' from Hordak and paid the price for it.

===&quot;Huntara&quot;===
:'''Entrapta''': Imperfection is beautiful! At least, to me.

===&quot;Once Upon a Time in the Waste&quot;===
:'''Catra''': Shadow Weaver left me for you, all of this happened because of you.

===&quot;Moment of Truth&quot;===
:'''Adora''': You! You took me away from my family when I was a baby! You lied to me my whole life, about the Princesses, about Etheria, about who I am!
:'''Hordak''': I could not have lied to you about who you are. Because I have never known nor cared about someone as inconsequential as you.
:'''Adora''': ''(shouts)'' You should care, because I'm the one who's gonna make sure you fail!
:'''Hordak''': I will not fail. You have no power to stop me. I am opening that portal. And I am going to use your own sword to wipe out the rest of you pathetic Rebellion once and for –
''[Hordak's suit glitches, as he grunts]''
:'''Entrapta''': Oh.
:'''Hordak''': Get it to work.

===&quot;Remember&quot;===
: '''Adora''': It’s all my fault. I’ve been so afraid of becoming another Mara. Destroying the world the way she did…and now…it’s happening.
''[Adora grunts as Razz hits her with Broom]''
: '''Razz''': Destroy the world? ''[Chuckles]'' No. Mara saved the world, and so will you. But you can’t waste any more time. You need to go back to the beginning. You need to find the sword. That is the only way this will stop!
: '''Adora''': I did that, didn’t I? I went back to the Fright Zone. The portal wasn’t there!
: '''Razz''': No, that wasn’t the beginning. You need to go back to the very beginning.
: '''Adora''': I-I-I don’t understand.
: '''Razz''': That’s all right, dearie. You don’t need to understand. You just need to remember.
''[Trees crash as the portal glitching comes closer]''
: Adora: I have to remember…
: ''[Flashbacks of the Best Friend Squad]''
: '''Adora''': ''[Gasps]'' Bow and Glimmer. I need to find them!
: '''Razz''': Go on, dearie! Quickly!
''[The portal tears up the forest and Razz walks into it. Meanwhile, Catra groans as she climbs out of the abyss and walks on.]''

===&quot;The Portal&quot;===
:'''Queen Angella''': ''(last words)'' Take care of each other.
----
:'''Horde Prime''': ''(receiving Hordak's signal)'' So that's where you've been, little brother.

==Season 4==
===&quot;The Coronation&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': It's time for us to take back our home. Together we will push out the Horde, once and for all!

===&quot;The Valley of the Lost&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': ''[looks around as seaweed falls off her]'' Hey, you didn't save any bad guys for me! I made it here as soon as I could, I only got a little lost… in the ocean. ''[picks a piece of seaweed off herself]'' Aw. You should've waited for me.
:'''Adora''': ''[apologetically]'' Sorry… but we did get the ship! Your first mission as queen is a success!
:'''Glimmer''': ''[smiles]'' Hm.

===&quot;Flutterina&quot;===
''(episode opens having a dream)''
:'''Catra''': This time I am going to win! I don't care what it takes, We are opening that portal. Now!
:'''Entrapta''' (Dream): No! I won't, I need to tell Hordak; he'll understand! ''[shouting]''
:'''Catra''': Get her out of here!
:'''Entrapta''' (Dream): What did you do to me?
:'''Adora''' (Dream): Why did you do it?
''[Catra awakens from her dream gasping, shouting, then panting; Emily starts beeping]''
:'''Catra''': ''[shouts]'' Stay away from me!

===&quot;Pulse&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': You've been growing magic plants this whole time?! What do these do?
:'''Shadow Weaver''': Those are daises, I find them cheerful.

===&quot;Protocol&quot;===
''(Light Hope is reviewing a memory of herself with Mara)''
:'''Past Light Hope''': Pretty. Yes. They are aesthetically pleasing. Thank you for bringing them.
:'''Mara''': I thought they might liven the place up. It must be hard being stuck in here all the time.
:'''Past Light Hope''': I do not mind. Not when you come to visit me.
:'''Mara''': ''[laughing]''
:'''Light Hope''': This memory should have been purged per directive of the Heart of Etheria Project. Permantly delete.

===&quot;Princess Scorpia&quot;===
:'''Scorpia''': This guy...this is my granddad, the King. He was the greatest. I mean, that's what the Horde told me, anyway. I don't remember him, I was too young.

===&quot;Mer-Mysteries&quot;===
''[Inside the castle; fire crackles in the hearth as all the princesses, Bow, and Flutterina sit around a table; Glimmer stands in front of the fire]''
:'''Glimmer''': I called you all here to discuss what happened today. The mission to retake Dryl was a complete disaster. We barely made it out. ''[angrily]'' I wanna know why.
:'''Bow''': The Horde knew we were coming, they were ready for us. How do they keep doing this? We thought they were tracking Adora, but she wasn't even there today!
:'''Mermista''': Isn't it obvious? ''[slams hands down on table]'' There's a Horde spy somewhere in Bright Moon. ''[lightning crashes]'' ...And no one is going anywhere until we figure out who it is. ''[lightning crashes]''

===&quot;Boys' Night Out&quot;===
:'''Mermista''': ''(deadpan)'' Oh, look. More ice cream. 'Cause I'm the princess of ice cream now.

===&quot;Hero&quot;===
:'''Razz''': Oh, Mara ''[rubbing a gash presumably made by the sword in a tree]'' ...You were never supposed to succeed. ''[with tears in her eyes]'' They made a plan for you... ''[almost sobbing, tears falling]'' Razz could not do anything to help. ...I am sorry.

===&quot;Fractures&quot;===
:'''Catra''': Oh, I'm sorry, are you tired? We're all tired, but we're not going to rest until we have all of Etheria under our control. Everything is finally coming together. We're winning. So, get back out there. Problem?

===&quot;Beast Island&quot;===
:'''Micah''': Nothing will stop me from getting off this island and reuniting with my family!

===&quot;Destiny, Part 1&quot;===
:'''Catra:''' ''(to Hordak)'' Big Brother is going to be so impressed.

===&quot;Destiny, Part 2&quot;===
:'''Catra''': ''(belittling Hordak)'' Why would Horde Prime care about you? You're a defect, a mistake! Haven't you noticed I'm running things around here?
----
:'''Double Trouble''': ''(taunting Catra)'' People have hurt you. ''[Double Trouble takes Shadow Weaver’s form]'' They didn’t believe in you, ''[takes Hordak’s form]'' didn’t trust you, ''[takes Adora’s form]'' didn’t need you, left you. ''[Catra falls down and Double Trouble reverts to their true form]'' But did you ever stop to think that they're not the problem? ''[takes Scorpia’s form]'' It’s you; you drive them away, Wild Cat.

==Season 5==
===&quot;Horde Prime&quot;===
:'''Adora''': ''[quickly running and leaping, spinning and crashing her staff down on a drone as they scatter; shouting]'' For Etheria! ''[the drone begins to fly away, but Adora spins her staff again and impales it, making it buzz with electricity]''
''[The two Etherian civilians sigh in relief, then cry out in fear as another drone flies toward them; an arrow pierces and knocks down the drone]''
:'''Bow''': ''[leaping in and landing next to Adora; confidently]'' Two down.
''[A third drone flies upward and away before Swift Wind kicks it with a grunt, knocking it down]''
:'''Swift Wind''': And a whole Galactic Horde to go!

===&quot;Launch&quot;===
:'''Horde Prime''': Rejoice Etheria, for Prime has come to you. Do not fear for you have given the opportunity to share in a world soon to be remade in my image. But first, you must prove yourself worthy. Your leader, your She-Ra, she would see you suffering for her sake. Cast aside this false hero and deliver her to me. Prime sees all. Prime knows all. They will not escape my judgement.

===&quot;Corridors&quot;===
:'''Catra''': So...what would you be doing if you were back on Etheria right now and not, you know, a prisoner on an alien ship?
:'''Glimmer''': I guess maybe... ''[glances down at her hands]'' Maybe I'd go teleporting all around Etheria, visiting all the other princesses in their kingdoms. If it were a really perfect day, Bow, Adora, and I would be having a sleepover. ''[chuckles lightly; reminiscent, happily]'' We'd raid Bright Moon's kitchen for cake and then we'd eat it with our hands right off the platter.
:'''Catra''': ''[quietly]'' ...We used to have those.
:'''Glimmer''': What?
:'''Catra''': ''[reminiscent, both happily and sadly]'' Sleepovers, me and Adora, when we were cadets in the Horde. ''[breathes a slight chuckle]'' We'd play tricks on Kyle, stay up all night whispering about--''[pauses and blushes]''--you know, whatever.
:'''Glimmer''': ''[turning to look at Catra, happily]'' Did Adora still thrash around all night and, like, sleep-fight? What was that about? ''[laughs]''
:'''Catra''': ''[laughs; in good humor]'' She ''always'' did that. Adora can't even relax when she's asleep.
''[Both laugh for a moment]''
:'''Glimmer''': ''[longingly]'' I miss them. ''[ruefully]'' I was so awful to them the last time we saw each other... ''[quietly, resolutely]'' I'd do ''anything'' to go back and make it right. ''[pause as Catra looks increasingly rueful herself; Glimmer's tone brightens a bit]'' ...What about you? What would you be doing if we were back on Etheria?
:'''Catra''': I'd--''[pause as Catra looks ahead with realization in her eyes]'' Uh, nothing. ''[quietly, sadly]'' There's...nothing for me on Etheria.
''[Catra gets up and walks away as Glimmer turns and looks on; Catra breathes out a small sigh]''

===&quot;Stranded&quot;===

===&quot;Save the Cat&quot;===

===&quot;Taking Control&quot;===

===&quot;The Perils of Peekablue&quot;===

===&quot;Shot in the Dark&quot;===

===&quot;An Ill Wind&quot;===

===&quot;Return to the Fright Zone&quot;===

===&quot;Failsafe&quot;===

===&quot;Heart, Part 1&quot;===

===&quot;Heart, Part 2&quot;===

==Shorts==
===''Swift Wind Adventures'' (2019)===
====&quot;Unicorn Warrior Training!&quot;====
''(after Swift Wind trains Plumerian warriors)''
:'''Adora''': Who's in trouble?
:'''Swift Wind''': No one! I saved the day.

====&quot;Arm Wrestling Revenge!&quot;====
:'''Purple bar patron''': ''(speaks in native language)''
:'''Mermista''': She says the boat goes to the winner, so...
''(scene shifts to the group sailing in the boat)''
:'''Swift Wind''': Another day is saved by Swift Wind. Good job crew. Let's fly!
:'''Mermista''': Woo! Go captain Swift Wind. ''(to Sea Hawk)'' You heard him, fly that boat.
:'''Sea Hawk''': Oh, so now you cheer.
:'''Swift Wind''': For the honor of Grayskull!

====&quot;A Princess Birthday Party!&quot;====
:'''Frosta''': ''(upon seeing Swift Wind, she squeals happily)'' You're letting me ride Swift Wind for my birthday? Awesome! Can we go right now?
:'''Adora''': ''(chuckles nervously; high-pitched voice)'' Sure.
''(next, She-Ra and Frosta are riding Swift Wind)''
:'''Frosta''': EeeeeEEEEEEEEEE! HA! HA! HA! OH! Woooo! ''(laughing)'' Yea! This is the best birthday, EVER!

====&quot;Grounded Glimmer Jailbreak!&quot;====
:'''Adora''': Glimmer was supposed to join our recon mission to Plumeria. She was intercepted in the throne room. It's time for operation &quot;Free Glimmer&quot;.
:'''Bow''': Where did they take her? The Fright Zone?
:'''Swift Wind''': It's worse than that. We're going to... Glimmer's bedroom.
:'''Bow''': Wait a minute, what?
:'''Adora''': Queen Angella grounded Glimmer.

====&quot;Horse Hero Transformation!&quot;====
:'''Adora''': You said, no regrets!
:'''Swift Wind''': I didn't have any then! I do now.
:'''Adora''': Well, we can't go back in time, so what's next?

===''Princess Rebel Recruitment'' (2019)===

====&quot;Bow Begins the Fight&quot;====

====&quot;Glimmer Wants YOU to Join&quot;====

====&quot;Meditation with Perfuma&quot;====

====&quot;Mermista is the Coolest&quot;====

====&quot;Entrapta Stole Bow's Tracker Pad&quot;====

====&quot;The Evil Horde is EVIL&quot;====

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
* [http://www.dreamworkstv.com/she-ra/ Official website] at DreamWorksTV
* [https://www.netflix.com/title/80179762 Official website] at [[Netflix]]
* {{IMDb title|id=7745956|title=She-Ra and the Princesses of Power}}
[[Category:American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American LGBT-related TV shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]]
[[Category:LGBT-related animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Netflix shows]]
[[Category:Television series reboots]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2018 television series debuts]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]</text>
      <sha1>nsl21sm5gp121uvtc5h55yl0bp2n9kn</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944082</id>
      <parentid>3944081</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T23:17:35Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* &quot;Stranded&quot; */</comment>
      <origin>3944082</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="28630" sha1="dhon4sxeydz7xxwp4ctktd7bks407bp" xml:space="preserve">{{Italic title}}'''''[[w:She-Ra and the Princesses of Power|She-Ra and the Princesses of Power]]''''' is an American animated television series developed for [[w:Netflix|Netflix]] by [[w:ND Stevenson|ND Stevenson]] and produced by [[w:DreamWorks Animation Television|DreamWorks Animation Television]]. Like the 1985 [[w:Filmation|Filmation]] series ''[[w:She-Ra: Princess of Power|She-Ra: Princess of Power]]'', of which it is a [[w:Reboot (fiction)|reboot]], ''She-Ra and the Princesses of Power'' tells the tale of [[w:Adora|Adora]], an adolescent girl who can transform into the heroine She-Ra and leads a group of other magical [[princess]]es in a rebellion against the evil Lord Hordak and his Horde.

The series ran on Netflix from November 13, 2018, to May 15, 2020, having released 52 episodes over 5 seasons. On linear TV, the show previously aired on CBBC in the United Kingdom, before it moved to Pop on January 30, 2023. It also aired on Disney Channel and DreamWorks Channel across the globe.
{{Stub}}

==Season 1==
===&quot;The Sword, Part 1&quot;===
:'''Catra''': Hey, Adora. How's it hanging?
:'''Adora''': Catra. Did you really show up late and let us do all the hard parts? That is low, even for you.
:'''Catra''': Aw. You know nothing's too low for me. Come on, you look stupid hanging down there.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Catra''': ''[Laughing]'' You should've seen your face. You were like, &quot;Aah, no! Betrayal.&quot;
:'''Adora''': ''[Scoffs]'' Come on, Catra. We're senior cadets now. I can't believe you're still pulling such childish, immature-- ''(abruptly)'' Is that a mouse?!
:'''Catra''': What!? Where!?
:'''Adora''': ''[Laughing]'' Are you ever going to not fall for that?
:'''Catra''': I don't know. Are you ever going to let it go? That was one time.
:'''Adora''': I know, but for some reason it's always funny. 
:'''Shadow Weaver''': ''[from off-screen]'' Adora. ''[Adora stands at her attention, between Catra. Weaver comes in]''
:'''Adora''': ''[saluting her]'' Shadow Weaver.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Angella''': That's enough! You're grounded.
:'''Glimmer''': ''[Scoffs]'' Mom!
:'''Angella''': You heard me!
:'''Glimmer''': You never let me do anything!

===&quot;The Sword, Part 2&quot;===
''(Adora transforms into She-Ra for the first time)''
:'''Bow''': Glimmer?
:'''Glimmer''': Yeah, I see her, Bow.
:'''Bow''': Okay. I wanted to make sure it wasn't just me.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
''[A Horde robot appears. Adora takes the sword as the robot races forward.]''
:'''Adora''': For the honor of Grayskull!
''[she transforms into She-Ra, and slices the robot in half. She-Ra glances back at Glimmer. Meanwhile, Bow and Catra fight. Bow flings Catra off and runs to the horse. Horde robots and tanks surround him.]''
:'''Bow''': It's been an honor serving beside you, Horsey.
''[Catra smiles as they close in, but She-Ra intervenes, and defeats the robots and tanks. Catra observes wearing a grim expression]''
:'''Glimmer:''' Bow! Are you okay?
:'''Bow:''' Is that Adora? 
:'''Glimmer''': It's She-Ra.
:'''Horde soldier''': Retreat! 
''[all screaming; The Horde retreats. The light flickers as She-Ra morphs back into Adora. She collapses on her knees, the sword in her right hand. As the smoke clears, Catra faces Adora.]''
:'''Adora''': Catra...
''[Catra backs away and disappears. Bow leaps on Adora.]''
:'''Bow''': You did it!
:'''Adora''': I did?
:'''Glimmer''': You saved us. You saved everyone!
:'''Adora''': ''[chuckles]'' I did it. I turned against the Horde. I turned against the Horde! Why did I do that? I can't go back now. Where am I supposed to go?
:'''Glimmer''': Hey, hey. It's okay. You're with us now. C’mon, let's go home. ''[Adora smiles and takes Glimmer's hand. They walk off with their arms around each other. Bow grins.]'' Best-friends squad!
''[The horse follows them.]''
:'''Bow''': Wait, whose horse was this?

===&quot;Razz&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': Eh... Bow, maybe you should take Adora in the back way?
:'''Bow''': Oh, yeah. Good call.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Adora''': ''[kneels and offers Angella the sword]'' I know you have no reason to trust me, Your Majesty. But I’ve seen for myself the atrocities the Horde has committed against the people of Etheria, and I’m ready to fight to stop them. If you give me the chance, I know I can help the Rebellion turn the tide of the war.
:'''Angella''': ''[takes the sword]'' I know the legend of the warrior the First Ones called She-Ra. They said she would return to us in the hour of our greatest need to bring balance to Etheria. I never thought she was anything more than a myth. And yet, you’re here now. And in the uniform of a Horde soldier, no less. You would pledge to stand with us against those you once served?
:'''Adora''': ''[sighs]'' Yes.
:'''Angella''': Glimmer, you would vouch for her and take responsibility for her?
:'''Glimmer''': Yes.
:'''Angella''': Then rise. The Rebellion accepts your allegiance, She-Ra, Princess of Power.
''[Angella returns the sword to Adora.]''
:'''Crowd''': ''[all chanting]'' She-Ra! She-Ra! She-Ra!
:'''Glimmer''': ''[shouts and hugs Adora]'' Welcome to Bright Moon!
:'''Bow''': ''[hugs]'' But for real this time.

===&quot;Flowers for She-Ra&quot;===
:'''Bow''': ''[Perfuma has conjured up a bead of flowers around Bow's forehead]'' Ooooh, I get a hat!

===&quot;The Sea Gate&quot;===
:'''Angella''': Council, we're looking for plans to strengthen our defenses against the Horde. Who would like to go first?
''[Glimmer's hand shoots up.]''
:'''Glimmer''': Me, me, me. Me. Me, me.
''[Angella sighs.]''
:'''Angella''': Who besides Glimmer would like to go first?

===&quot;System Failure&quot;===
:'''Entrapta''': You're lucky I found you. I designed the castle as a labyrinth. I'm the only one who can navigate it.
:'''Glimmer''': Which means you can help us find our friend?
:'''Entrapta''': Absolutely.
:'''She-Ra''': Is she sure about that?
:'''Glimmer''': Hi, um, I think we passed this picture already.
:'''Entrapta''': Oh, isn't it cute? You might be right. I usually have my electronic map to get around. But, well, like my bots it's sort of evil right now.
:'''Glimmer''': Yeah, about that-
:'''She-Ra''': Why did you invent killer robots?
:'''Entrapta''': You're abnormally tall. Hello! I like your sword. It's First Ones tech, right? Can I touch it?
:'''She-Ra''': Uh, thank you, yes, and no, not right now.
:'''Glimmer''': About the killer robots?
:'''Entrapta''': They didn't start out that way. Usually they're super useful. They do almost everything for me. Cleaning, filing, basic hygiene. Oh, and they're sound activated. Here, I'll show you!

===&quot;In the Shadows of Mystacor&quot;===
:'''Castaspella''': Adora. How nice, Glimmer has finally started making some new friends. We were all so pleased when she started bringing Bow around, I was sure she had made him up at first. ''[laughs]''

===&quot;Princess Prom&quot;===
:'''Adora''': Uh, hey, guys, I got an invite to the All Princess Ball, Winter Wonderland. Do you know what this is?
:'''Bow''' and '''Glimmer''': Princess Prom! Princess Prom! Princess Prom! We are going to Princess Prom!

===&quot;No Princess Left Behind&quot;===
:'''Kyle''': Eh... I'd better be leaving no.
:'''Bow''': No! Wait!
:'''Kyle''': I like your shirt.
:'''Bow''': Kyle!

===&quot;The Beacon&quot;===
:'''Adora''': ''[sadly]'' How could I let this happen? 
:'''Bow''': Adora, it’s not your fault. 
:'''Adora''': It IS my fault. Entrapta’s gone because of my plan.
:'''Mermista''': This only happened because we were all together. 
:'''Perfuma''': ''[with tears in her eyes]'' Mermista’s right, being together makes us vulnerable.

===&quot;Promise&quot;===
:'''Young Catra''': ''[sniffles and grunts]'' Does it look broken to you?! ''[sniffs a few times]''
:'''Young Adora''': ''[incredulous, almost laughingly]'' It's not broken, you're fine!
:'''Young Catra''': ''[looks at her hand where she touched her nose and shrieks]'' I'm bleeding!
:'''Young Adora''': You're not bleeding! And why would you try and pick a fight with Octavia anyway?
:'''Young Catra''': I didn't do anything, all I did was exist near her. ...And scratch her on the eyeball. And call her a dumbface.
:'''Young Adora''': ''[scoffs]'' Catra--
:'''Young Catra''': What?! She has a dumb face!
:'''Young Adora''': ''[lowers voice in a disarming, complying way; offers her hand]'' Where is she?
''[Young Catra takes Young Adora's hand and leads them to a different room, pointing down at Octavia]''
:'''Young Adora''': Hey, Octavia! ''[Octavia looks up and grunts an acknowledgement]'' You're a dumbface!
''[Octavia roars angrily, stomping up the ramp to chase the kids]''
:'''Young Catra''': ''[laughing]'' She's coming!
:'''Young Adora''': Run!
''[The kids run away holding hands and laughing]''

===&quot;Light Hope&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': But shouldn't she be ''[glitches and grunts]'' back by now? She said she was gonna ''[glitches and grunts]'' get training to ''[glitches and grunts]'' fix me! How long is that going to take--''[runs into chair, chair squeaks across floor]'' OW! ''[sharp intake of breath]'' And what kind of monster puts a chair here?!
:'''Bow''': Okay, I'm worried, too, Glimmer, but taking it out on the furniture isn't going to help.
:'''Glimmer''': We can't sit here and hope that she comes back eventually. We have to do something.
:'''Bow''': Like what?
''[knocking on door]''
:'''Guard''': Princess? There's, uh, something here to see you.
:'''Glimmer''': Don't you mean someone?
:'''Guard''': No. I mean something.
''[Swift Wind clops and whinnies down the hallway]''
:'''Bow''': Our horse!
:'''Swift Wind''': I am my own horse. Call me ''[in a deeper, more regal voice]'' Swift Wind!
''[Glimmer and Bow scream]''
:'''Bow''': Our horse can talk! ''[gasps]''
:'''Swift Wind''': Yeah, yeah, I can speak my mind now, pretty crazy--SO, I was thinking--
:'''Bow''': He's a talking hoOoOoOrse!
:'''Swift Wind''': As we've established. Now--
:'''Glimmer''': He has wings!
:'''Swift Wind''': Okay, I'll give you a moment to freak out, and then we need to talk.
''[Glimmer and Bow both gasping]''
:'''Swift Wind''': ''[blusters]'' --Great! I think Adora needs our help. Since Adora transformed me, I've been able to feel where she is at all times. It's like instinct. But now I feel a pull, as if I'm being summoned to her side. ''[Bow touches Swift Wind's wing and gasps ecstatically]'' As part of Adora's herd, I need your help. Will you come?
''[Glimmer glitches, then hums resolutely]''
:'''Glimmer''': Of course. Lead the way.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Light Hope''': ''[Distorted, pitch shifting randomly]'' The Horde is hurting us. Balance Etheria.
:'''Adora''': ''[desperately, panicking]'' Light Hope? Light Hope, come back! I don't--I don't know what to do.
:'''Swift Wind''': ''[disembodied, hauntingly]'' Adoraa...''[normally]'' Adora!
:'''Adora''': Our horse?
:'''Swift Wind''': Once again, I'm no one's horse. I'm Swift Wind.
:'''Adora''': ''[shocked]'' You can talk?
:'''Swift Wind''': Yes, I can talk.
:'''Adora''': ''[still shocked]'' You can ''talk''?
:'''Swift Wind''': I can see now why you're friends with Bow and Glimmer. They need your help, which is why I'm here. So.... which way's the exit?
:'''Adora''': I don't know. Light Hope disappeared and I-I don't know if I should go back.
:'''Swift Wind''': What do you mean?
:'''Adora''': Light Hope said if I leave here, I'll make things worse. She's right. Everyone will be better off if I just stay far away from them. It's-It's for the greater good.
:'''Swift Wind''': ''[deadpans]'' Well, that's just stupid.
:'''Adora''': ''[incredulous]'' What? No, it's not.
:'''Swift Wind''': Adora, I've had the ability to form complex thought for like...a week, and even I know you can't help anyone by hiding. Where would all the horses I freed from their barns be if I just sat in a pasture and moped?
:'''Adora''': ''[scoffing]'' I am not moping... ''[Swift Wind blusters]'' I'm not! I hurt people, I ruined my friends' lives!
:'''Swift Wind''': If that's true, then why are Bow and Glimmer here trying to rescue you? ''[Hologram of Bow and Glimmer fighting off the spiders and holding Adora in reality]'' Bow and Glimmer are risking their lives. Not because you're She-Ra, but because you're their friend. What good is all your power if you don't use it to help the people that you love?
:'''Adora''': ...I'm not Mara. I'm not the She-Ras of the past. I didn't do this to fulfill some destiny. I became She-Ra to help others. My attachments, my friends, are a part of who I am.
:'''Swift Wind''': So. Are you staying? Or going?
:'''Adora''': Let's go.

===&quot;The Battle of Bright Moon&quot;===
:'''Angella''': Go on. Go get them.
''[Glimmer then teleports away, whilst Queen Angella cultivates the Stone.]''
:'''Glimmer''': YES!
:'''Bow''': Ha Ha, Glimmer! You're sparkling again!
:'''Glimmer''': Yeah! What I miss?
:'''Adora''': The Princesses are united! This is how it's supposed to be.
:'''Mermista''': What do you say? Ready to finish this?
:'''Perfuma''': ''[laughs]'' Thought you'd never ask.
:'''Netossa''': We're in.
:'''Frosta''': Let's do this already!

==Season 2==
===&quot;The Frozen Forest&quot;===
''(after Adora / She-Ra undergoes a VR training where she fights a virtual Catra)''
:'''Adora''': Did you have to make her so mean?
:'''Light Hope''': The simulation is designed for total accuracy. Is the one you call Catra not mean?
:'''Adora''': No. She is.
:'''Light Hope''': There. There. ''(Attempts to pat Adora on the head but her hand just goes through)''

===&quot;Ties That Bind&quot;===
:'''Adora''': Hey guys. You'll never guess what Swift Wind and I did today. We restored a First Ones' Watchtower so Light Hope can balance the planet, and we brought a whole field back to life and... What happened to you?
:'''Glimmer''': Oh Adora, we've got a lot to catch you up on.

===&quot;Signals&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': We'll handle this the way we always do.
:'''Adora''': Brute strength?
:'''Swift Wind''': Almost dying?
:'''Glimmer''': No. And no. By sticking together and never giving up.
:'''Bow''': Yeah! Best Friend Quad to the rescue!

===&quot;Roll With It&quot;===
:'''Scorpia''': Move those big weapony things! Flap those banners! Uh, keep doing whatever you're doing, guy I'm pointing at! Now do a different thing! And look sharp!

===&quot;White Out&quot;===
:'''Adora''': Wow, you sure are a big bug.

===&quot;Light Spinner&quot;===
''[Episode opens on Light Spinner and multiple teenagers practicing magic.]''
:'''Micah''': Woah...
:'''Light Spinner''': Impressive casting, Micah. But you allow yourself to become distracted.
:'''Kids''': Oooooooh
:'''Micah''': You can't expect me to out-cast Light Spinner; the greatest sorceress to ever walk the halls of Mystacor.
:'''Light Spinner''': I have no time for your flattery. If you're going to interrupt my lessons, you might at least apply yourself. I want focus as you cast your illusions.

===&quot;Reunion&quot;===
:'''Bow''': On one of our missions, we received a message from an unknown source. If we knew what Serenia meant, I think we could figure out the rest.
:'''Lance''': “Serenia, portal, Mara” Okay. But what are these other words?
:'''Adora''': I don't know. It's too degraded to read.
:'''George''': Wait a second. Lance, what does this pattern look like?
:'''Lance''': ''(gasps)'' Oh, I think you're right.
:'''Bow''': What is it?
:'''George''': Look at it, Bow. Really look at it. What do you see?
:'''Bow''': These aren't words at all, are they?
:'''Lance''': Oh, now you've got it. George, get the projector.
:'''George''': The world of the First Ones was different from ours. Climate, language, even the sky was different, filled with cosmic formations they called...
:'''Adora''': Stars!

==Season 3==
===&quot;The Price of Power&quot;===
:'''Castaspella''': Now for the last time, tell us what you know. ''(truth spell hums)''
:'''Shadow Weaver''': I know that when you cast a truth spell, you should make sure you've drawn it correctly. Sloppy work. Are you sure you're Micah's sister?
:'''Castaspella''': ''(growls)''
:'''Angella''': She's trying to get under our skin.
:'''Shadow Weaver''': You could spare yourself the trouble if you would just let me talk to Adora.
:'''Angella''': No, you've put that girl through enough. Now tell us the truth. Why did the Horde send you here? What are you planning?
:'''Shadow Weaver''': ''(laughs)'' You think Hordak sent me? I ''escaped'' from Hordak and paid the price for it.

===&quot;Huntara&quot;===
:'''Entrapta''': Imperfection is beautiful! At least, to me.

===&quot;Once Upon a Time in the Waste&quot;===
:'''Catra''': Shadow Weaver left me for you, all of this happened because of you.

===&quot;Moment of Truth&quot;===
:'''Adora''': You! You took me away from my family when I was a baby! You lied to me my whole life, about the Princesses, about Etheria, about who I am!
:'''Hordak''': I could not have lied to you about who you are. Because I have never known nor cared about someone as inconsequential as you.
:'''Adora''': ''(shouts)'' You should care, because I'm the one who's gonna make sure you fail!
:'''Hordak''': I will not fail. You have no power to stop me. I am opening that portal. And I am going to use your own sword to wipe out the rest of you pathetic Rebellion once and for –
''[Hordak's suit glitches, as he grunts]''
:'''Entrapta''': Oh.
:'''Hordak''': Get it to work.

===&quot;Remember&quot;===
: '''Adora''': It’s all my fault. I’ve been so afraid of becoming another Mara. Destroying the world the way she did…and now…it’s happening.
''[Adora grunts as Razz hits her with Broom]''
: '''Razz''': Destroy the world? ''[Chuckles]'' No. Mara saved the world, and so will you. But you can’t waste any more time. You need to go back to the beginning. You need to find the sword. That is the only way this will stop!
: '''Adora''': I did that, didn’t I? I went back to the Fright Zone. The portal wasn’t there!
: '''Razz''': No, that wasn’t the beginning. You need to go back to the very beginning.
: '''Adora''': I-I-I don’t understand.
: '''Razz''': That’s all right, dearie. You don’t need to understand. You just need to remember.
''[Trees crash as the portal glitching comes closer]''
: Adora: I have to remember…
: ''[Flashbacks of the Best Friend Squad]''
: '''Adora''': ''[Gasps]'' Bow and Glimmer. I need to find them!
: '''Razz''': Go on, dearie! Quickly!
''[The portal tears up the forest and Razz walks into it. Meanwhile, Catra groans as she climbs out of the abyss and walks on.]''

===&quot;The Portal&quot;===
:'''Queen Angella''': ''(last words)'' Take care of each other.
----
:'''Horde Prime''': ''(receiving Hordak's signal)'' So that's where you've been, little brother.

==Season 4==
===&quot;The Coronation&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': It's time for us to take back our home. Together we will push out the Horde, once and for all!

===&quot;The Valley of the Lost&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': ''[looks around as seaweed falls off her]'' Hey, you didn't save any bad guys for me! I made it here as soon as I could, I only got a little lost… in the ocean. ''[picks a piece of seaweed off herself]'' Aw. You should've waited for me.
:'''Adora''': ''[apologetically]'' Sorry… but we did get the ship! Your first mission as queen is a success!
:'''Glimmer''': ''[smiles]'' Hm.

===&quot;Flutterina&quot;===
''(episode opens having a dream)''
:'''Catra''': This time I am going to win! I don't care what it takes, We are opening that portal. Now!
:'''Entrapta''' (Dream): No! I won't, I need to tell Hordak; he'll understand! ''[shouting]''
:'''Catra''': Get her out of here!
:'''Entrapta''' (Dream): What did you do to me?
:'''Adora''' (Dream): Why did you do it?
''[Catra awakens from her dream gasping, shouting, then panting; Emily starts beeping]''
:'''Catra''': ''[shouts]'' Stay away from me!

===&quot;Pulse&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': You've been growing magic plants this whole time?! What do these do?
:'''Shadow Weaver''': Those are daises, I find them cheerful.

===&quot;Protocol&quot;===
''(Light Hope is reviewing a memory of herself with Mara)''
:'''Past Light Hope''': Pretty. Yes. They are aesthetically pleasing. Thank you for bringing them.
:'''Mara''': I thought they might liven the place up. It must be hard being stuck in here all the time.
:'''Past Light Hope''': I do not mind. Not when you come to visit me.
:'''Mara''': ''[laughing]''
:'''Light Hope''': This memory should have been purged per directive of the Heart of Etheria Project. Permantly delete.

===&quot;Princess Scorpia&quot;===
:'''Scorpia''': This guy...this is my granddad, the King. He was the greatest. I mean, that's what the Horde told me, anyway. I don't remember him, I was too young.

===&quot;Mer-Mysteries&quot;===
''[Inside the castle; fire crackles in the hearth as all the princesses, Bow, and Flutterina sit around a table; Glimmer stands in front of the fire]''
:'''Glimmer''': I called you all here to discuss what happened today. The mission to retake Dryl was a complete disaster. We barely made it out. ''[angrily]'' I wanna know why.
:'''Bow''': The Horde knew we were coming, they were ready for us. How do they keep doing this? We thought they were tracking Adora, but she wasn't even there today!
:'''Mermista''': Isn't it obvious? ''[slams hands down on table]'' There's a Horde spy somewhere in Bright Moon. ''[lightning crashes]'' ...And no one is going anywhere until we figure out who it is. ''[lightning crashes]''

===&quot;Boys' Night Out&quot;===
:'''Mermista''': ''(deadpan)'' Oh, look. More ice cream. 'Cause I'm the princess of ice cream now.

===&quot;Hero&quot;===
:'''Razz''': Oh, Mara ''[rubbing a gash presumably made by the sword in a tree]'' ...You were never supposed to succeed. ''[with tears in her eyes]'' They made a plan for you... ''[almost sobbing, tears falling]'' Razz could not do anything to help. ...I am sorry.

===&quot;Fractures&quot;===
:'''Catra''': Oh, I'm sorry, are you tired? We're all tired, but we're not going to rest until we have all of Etheria under our control. Everything is finally coming together. We're winning. So, get back out there. Problem?

===&quot;Beast Island&quot;===
:'''Micah''': Nothing will stop me from getting off this island and reuniting with my family!

===&quot;Destiny, Part 1&quot;===
:'''Catra:''' ''(to Hordak)'' Big Brother is going to be so impressed.

===&quot;Destiny, Part 2&quot;===
:'''Catra''': ''(belittling Hordak)'' Why would Horde Prime care about you? You're a defect, a mistake! Haven't you noticed I'm running things around here?
----
:'''Double Trouble''': ''(taunting Catra)'' People have hurt you. ''[Double Trouble takes Shadow Weaver’s form]'' They didn’t believe in you, ''[takes Hordak’s form]'' didn’t trust you, ''[takes Adora’s form]'' didn’t need you, left you. ''[Catra falls down and Double Trouble reverts to their true form]'' But did you ever stop to think that they're not the problem? ''[takes Scorpia’s form]'' It’s you; you drive them away, Wild Cat.

==Season 5==
===&quot;Horde Prime&quot;===
:'''Adora''': ''[quickly running and leaping, spinning and crashing her staff down on a drone as they scatter; shouting]'' For Etheria! ''[the drone begins to fly away, but Adora spins her staff again and impales it, making it buzz with electricity]''
''[The two Etherian civilians sigh in relief, then cry out in fear as another drone flies toward them; an arrow pierces and knocks down the drone]''
:'''Bow''': ''[leaping in and landing next to Adora; confidently]'' Two down.
''[A third drone flies upward and away before Swift Wind kicks it with a grunt, knocking it down]''
:'''Swift Wind''': And a whole Galactic Horde to go!

===&quot;Launch&quot;===
:'''Horde Prime''': Rejoice Etheria, for Prime has come to you. Do not fear for you have given the opportunity to share in a world soon to be remade in my image. But first, you must prove yourself worthy. Your leader, your She-Ra, she would see you suffering for her sake. Cast aside this false hero and deliver her to me. Prime sees all. Prime knows all. They will not escape my judgement.

===&quot;Corridors&quot;===
:'''Catra''': So...what would you be doing if you were back on Etheria right now and not, you know, a prisoner on an alien ship?
:'''Glimmer''': I guess maybe... ''[glances down at her hands]'' Maybe I'd go teleporting all around Etheria, visiting all the other princesses in their kingdoms. If it were a really perfect day, Bow, Adora, and I would be having a sleepover. ''[chuckles lightly; reminiscent, happily]'' We'd raid Bright Moon's kitchen for cake and then we'd eat it with our hands right off the platter.
:'''Catra''': ''[quietly]'' ...We used to have those.
:'''Glimmer''': What?
:'''Catra''': ''[reminiscent, both happily and sadly]'' Sleepovers, me and Adora, when we were cadets in the Horde. ''[breathes a slight chuckle]'' We'd play tricks on Kyle, stay up all night whispering about--''[pauses and blushes]''--you know, whatever.
:'''Glimmer''': ''[turning to look at Catra, happily]'' Did Adora still thrash around all night and, like, sleep-fight? What was that about? ''[laughs]''
:'''Catra''': ''[laughs; in good humor]'' She ''always'' did that. Adora can't even relax when she's asleep.
''[Both laugh for a moment]''
:'''Glimmer''': ''[longingly]'' I miss them. ''[ruefully]'' I was so awful to them the last time we saw each other... ''[quietly, resolutely]'' I'd do ''anything'' to go back and make it right. ''[pause as Catra looks increasingly rueful herself; Glimmer's tone brightens a bit]'' ...What about you? What would you be doing if we were back on Etheria?
:'''Catra''': I'd--''[pause as Catra looks ahead with realization in her eyes]'' Uh, nothing. ''[quietly, sadly]'' There's...nothing for me on Etheria.
''[Catra gets up and walks away as Glimmer turns and looks on; Catra breathes out a small sigh]''

===&quot;Stranded&quot;===
:'''Adora''': So, let me make sure I get this right. Catra saved you from Horde Prime. Like &quot;Catra&quot; Catra? Why would she do that? It doesn't make any sense.
:'''Glimmer''': She said she wanted to do one good thing in her life. She said she was doing it for you.

===&quot;Save the Cat&quot;===

===&quot;Taking Control&quot;===

===&quot;The Perils of Peekablue&quot;===

===&quot;Shot in the Dark&quot;===

===&quot;An Ill Wind&quot;===

===&quot;Return to the Fright Zone&quot;===

===&quot;Failsafe&quot;===

===&quot;Heart, Part 1&quot;===

===&quot;Heart, Part 2&quot;===

==Shorts==
===''Swift Wind Adventures'' (2019)===
====&quot;Unicorn Warrior Training!&quot;====
''(after Swift Wind trains Plumerian warriors)''
:'''Adora''': Who's in trouble?
:'''Swift Wind''': No one! I saved the day.

====&quot;Arm Wrestling Revenge!&quot;====
:'''Purple bar patron''': ''(speaks in native language)''
:'''Mermista''': She says the boat goes to the winner, so...
''(scene shifts to the group sailing in the boat)''
:'''Swift Wind''': Another day is saved by Swift Wind. Good job crew. Let's fly!
:'''Mermista''': Woo! Go captain Swift Wind. ''(to Sea Hawk)'' You heard him, fly that boat.
:'''Sea Hawk''': Oh, so now you cheer.
:'''Swift Wind''': For the honor of Grayskull!

====&quot;A Princess Birthday Party!&quot;====
:'''Frosta''': ''(upon seeing Swift Wind, she squeals happily)'' You're letting me ride Swift Wind for my birthday? Awesome! Can we go right now?
:'''Adora''': ''(chuckles nervously; high-pitched voice)'' Sure.
''(next, She-Ra and Frosta are riding Swift Wind)''
:'''Frosta''': EeeeeEEEEEEEEEE! HA! HA! HA! OH! Woooo! ''(laughing)'' Yea! This is the best birthday, EVER!

====&quot;Grounded Glimmer Jailbreak!&quot;====
:'''Adora''': Glimmer was supposed to join our recon mission to Plumeria. She was intercepted in the throne room. It's time for operation &quot;Free Glimmer&quot;.
:'''Bow''': Where did they take her? The Fright Zone?
:'''Swift Wind''': It's worse than that. We're going to... Glimmer's bedroom.
:'''Bow''': Wait a minute, what?
:'''Adora''': Queen Angella grounded Glimmer.

====&quot;Horse Hero Transformation!&quot;====
:'''Adora''': You said, no regrets!
:'''Swift Wind''': I didn't have any then! I do now.
:'''Adora''': Well, we can't go back in time, so what's next?

===''Princess Rebel Recruitment'' (2019)===

====&quot;Bow Begins the Fight&quot;====

====&quot;Glimmer Wants YOU to Join&quot;====

====&quot;Meditation with Perfuma&quot;====

====&quot;Mermista is the Coolest&quot;====

====&quot;Entrapta Stole Bow's Tracker Pad&quot;====

====&quot;The Evil Horde is EVIL&quot;====

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
* [http://www.dreamworkstv.com/she-ra/ Official website] at DreamWorksTV
* [https://www.netflix.com/title/80179762 Official website] at [[Netflix]]
* {{IMDb title|id=7745956|title=She-Ra and the Princesses of Power}}
[[Category:American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American LGBT-related TV shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]]
[[Category:LGBT-related animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Netflix shows]]
[[Category:Television series reboots]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2018 television series debuts]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]</text>
      <sha1>dhon4sxeydz7xxwp4ctktd7bks407bp</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944083</id>
      <parentid>3944082</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T23:20:47Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* &quot;Stranded&quot; */</comment>
      <origin>3944083</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="28719" sha1="mufm3il6m3qqdj0zfn51730gfp6h51t" xml:space="preserve">{{Italic title}}'''''[[w:She-Ra and the Princesses of Power|She-Ra and the Princesses of Power]]''''' is an American animated television series developed for [[w:Netflix|Netflix]] by [[w:ND Stevenson|ND Stevenson]] and produced by [[w:DreamWorks Animation Television|DreamWorks Animation Television]]. Like the 1985 [[w:Filmation|Filmation]] series ''[[w:She-Ra: Princess of Power|She-Ra: Princess of Power]]'', of which it is a [[w:Reboot (fiction)|reboot]], ''She-Ra and the Princesses of Power'' tells the tale of [[w:Adora|Adora]], an adolescent girl who can transform into the heroine She-Ra and leads a group of other magical [[princess]]es in a rebellion against the evil Lord Hordak and his Horde.

The series ran on Netflix from November 13, 2018, to May 15, 2020, having released 52 episodes over 5 seasons. On linear TV, the show previously aired on CBBC in the United Kingdom, before it moved to Pop on January 30, 2023. It also aired on Disney Channel and DreamWorks Channel across the globe.
{{Stub}}

==Season 1==
===&quot;The Sword, Part 1&quot;===
:'''Catra''': Hey, Adora. How's it hanging?
:'''Adora''': Catra. Did you really show up late and let us do all the hard parts? That is low, even for you.
:'''Catra''': Aw. You know nothing's too low for me. Come on, you look stupid hanging down there.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Catra''': ''[Laughing]'' You should've seen your face. You were like, &quot;Aah, no! Betrayal.&quot;
:'''Adora''': ''[Scoffs]'' Come on, Catra. We're senior cadets now. I can't believe you're still pulling such childish, immature-- ''(abruptly)'' Is that a mouse?!
:'''Catra''': What!? Where!?
:'''Adora''': ''[Laughing]'' Are you ever going to not fall for that?
:'''Catra''': I don't know. Are you ever going to let it go? That was one time.
:'''Adora''': I know, but for some reason it's always funny. 
:'''Shadow Weaver''': ''[from off-screen]'' Adora. ''[Adora stands at her attention, between Catra. Weaver comes in]''
:'''Adora''': ''[saluting her]'' Shadow Weaver.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Angella''': That's enough! You're grounded.
:'''Glimmer''': ''[Scoffs]'' Mom!
:'''Angella''': You heard me!
:'''Glimmer''': You never let me do anything!

===&quot;The Sword, Part 2&quot;===
''(Adora transforms into She-Ra for the first time)''
:'''Bow''': Glimmer?
:'''Glimmer''': Yeah, I see her, Bow.
:'''Bow''': Okay. I wanted to make sure it wasn't just me.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
''[A Horde robot appears. Adora takes the sword as the robot races forward.]''
:'''Adora''': For the honor of Grayskull!
''[she transforms into She-Ra, and slices the robot in half. She-Ra glances back at Glimmer. Meanwhile, Bow and Catra fight. Bow flings Catra off and runs to the horse. Horde robots and tanks surround him.]''
:'''Bow''': It's been an honor serving beside you, Horsey.
''[Catra smiles as they close in, but She-Ra intervenes, and defeats the robots and tanks. Catra observes wearing a grim expression]''
:'''Glimmer:''' Bow! Are you okay?
:'''Bow:''' Is that Adora? 
:'''Glimmer''': It's She-Ra.
:'''Horde soldier''': Retreat! 
''[all screaming; The Horde retreats. The light flickers as She-Ra morphs back into Adora. She collapses on her knees, the sword in her right hand. As the smoke clears, Catra faces Adora.]''
:'''Adora''': Catra...
''[Catra backs away and disappears. Bow leaps on Adora.]''
:'''Bow''': You did it!
:'''Adora''': I did?
:'''Glimmer''': You saved us. You saved everyone!
:'''Adora''': ''[chuckles]'' I did it. I turned against the Horde. I turned against the Horde! Why did I do that? I can't go back now. Where am I supposed to go?
:'''Glimmer''': Hey, hey. It's okay. You're with us now. C’mon, let's go home. ''[Adora smiles and takes Glimmer's hand. They walk off with their arms around each other. Bow grins.]'' Best-friends squad!
''[The horse follows them.]''
:'''Bow''': Wait, whose horse was this?

===&quot;Razz&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': Eh... Bow, maybe you should take Adora in the back way?
:'''Bow''': Oh, yeah. Good call.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Adora''': ''[kneels and offers Angella the sword]'' I know you have no reason to trust me, Your Majesty. But I’ve seen for myself the atrocities the Horde has committed against the people of Etheria, and I’m ready to fight to stop them. If you give me the chance, I know I can help the Rebellion turn the tide of the war.
:'''Angella''': ''[takes the sword]'' I know the legend of the warrior the First Ones called She-Ra. They said she would return to us in the hour of our greatest need to bring balance to Etheria. I never thought she was anything more than a myth. And yet, you’re here now. And in the uniform of a Horde soldier, no less. You would pledge to stand with us against those you once served?
:'''Adora''': ''[sighs]'' Yes.
:'''Angella''': Glimmer, you would vouch for her and take responsibility for her?
:'''Glimmer''': Yes.
:'''Angella''': Then rise. The Rebellion accepts your allegiance, She-Ra, Princess of Power.
''[Angella returns the sword to Adora.]''
:'''Crowd''': ''[all chanting]'' She-Ra! She-Ra! She-Ra!
:'''Glimmer''': ''[shouts and hugs Adora]'' Welcome to Bright Moon!
:'''Bow''': ''[hugs]'' But for real this time.

===&quot;Flowers for She-Ra&quot;===
:'''Bow''': ''[Perfuma has conjured up a bead of flowers around Bow's forehead]'' Ooooh, I get a hat!

===&quot;The Sea Gate&quot;===
:'''Angella''': Council, we're looking for plans to strengthen our defenses against the Horde. Who would like to go first?
''[Glimmer's hand shoots up.]''
:'''Glimmer''': Me, me, me. Me. Me, me.
''[Angella sighs.]''
:'''Angella''': Who besides Glimmer would like to go first?

===&quot;System Failure&quot;===
:'''Entrapta''': You're lucky I found you. I designed the castle as a labyrinth. I'm the only one who can navigate it.
:'''Glimmer''': Which means you can help us find our friend?
:'''Entrapta''': Absolutely.
:'''She-Ra''': Is she sure about that?
:'''Glimmer''': Hi, um, I think we passed this picture already.
:'''Entrapta''': Oh, isn't it cute? You might be right. I usually have my electronic map to get around. But, well, like my bots it's sort of evil right now.
:'''Glimmer''': Yeah, about that-
:'''She-Ra''': Why did you invent killer robots?
:'''Entrapta''': You're abnormally tall. Hello! I like your sword. It's First Ones tech, right? Can I touch it?
:'''She-Ra''': Uh, thank you, yes, and no, not right now.
:'''Glimmer''': About the killer robots?
:'''Entrapta''': They didn't start out that way. Usually they're super useful. They do almost everything for me. Cleaning, filing, basic hygiene. Oh, and they're sound activated. Here, I'll show you!

===&quot;In the Shadows of Mystacor&quot;===
:'''Castaspella''': Adora. How nice, Glimmer has finally started making some new friends. We were all so pleased when she started bringing Bow around, I was sure she had made him up at first. ''[laughs]''

===&quot;Princess Prom&quot;===
:'''Adora''': Uh, hey, guys, I got an invite to the All Princess Ball, Winter Wonderland. Do you know what this is?
:'''Bow''' and '''Glimmer''': Princess Prom! Princess Prom! Princess Prom! We are going to Princess Prom!

===&quot;No Princess Left Behind&quot;===
:'''Kyle''': Eh... I'd better be leaving no.
:'''Bow''': No! Wait!
:'''Kyle''': I like your shirt.
:'''Bow''': Kyle!

===&quot;The Beacon&quot;===
:'''Adora''': ''[sadly]'' How could I let this happen? 
:'''Bow''': Adora, it’s not your fault. 
:'''Adora''': It IS my fault. Entrapta’s gone because of my plan.
:'''Mermista''': This only happened because we were all together. 
:'''Perfuma''': ''[with tears in her eyes]'' Mermista’s right, being together makes us vulnerable.

===&quot;Promise&quot;===
:'''Young Catra''': ''[sniffles and grunts]'' Does it look broken to you?! ''[sniffs a few times]''
:'''Young Adora''': ''[incredulous, almost laughingly]'' It's not broken, you're fine!
:'''Young Catra''': ''[looks at her hand where she touched her nose and shrieks]'' I'm bleeding!
:'''Young Adora''': You're not bleeding! And why would you try and pick a fight with Octavia anyway?
:'''Young Catra''': I didn't do anything, all I did was exist near her. ...And scratch her on the eyeball. And call her a dumbface.
:'''Young Adora''': ''[scoffs]'' Catra--
:'''Young Catra''': What?! She has a dumb face!
:'''Young Adora''': ''[lowers voice in a disarming, complying way; offers her hand]'' Where is she?
''[Young Catra takes Young Adora's hand and leads them to a different room, pointing down at Octavia]''
:'''Young Adora''': Hey, Octavia! ''[Octavia looks up and grunts an acknowledgement]'' You're a dumbface!
''[Octavia roars angrily, stomping up the ramp to chase the kids]''
:'''Young Catra''': ''[laughing]'' She's coming!
:'''Young Adora''': Run!
''[The kids run away holding hands and laughing]''

===&quot;Light Hope&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': But shouldn't she be ''[glitches and grunts]'' back by now? She said she was gonna ''[glitches and grunts]'' get training to ''[glitches and grunts]'' fix me! How long is that going to take--''[runs into chair, chair squeaks across floor]'' OW! ''[sharp intake of breath]'' And what kind of monster puts a chair here?!
:'''Bow''': Okay, I'm worried, too, Glimmer, but taking it out on the furniture isn't going to help.
:'''Glimmer''': We can't sit here and hope that she comes back eventually. We have to do something.
:'''Bow''': Like what?
''[knocking on door]''
:'''Guard''': Princess? There's, uh, something here to see you.
:'''Glimmer''': Don't you mean someone?
:'''Guard''': No. I mean something.
''[Swift Wind clops and whinnies down the hallway]''
:'''Bow''': Our horse!
:'''Swift Wind''': I am my own horse. Call me ''[in a deeper, more regal voice]'' Swift Wind!
''[Glimmer and Bow scream]''
:'''Bow''': Our horse can talk! ''[gasps]''
:'''Swift Wind''': Yeah, yeah, I can speak my mind now, pretty crazy--SO, I was thinking--
:'''Bow''': He's a talking hoOoOoOrse!
:'''Swift Wind''': As we've established. Now--
:'''Glimmer''': He has wings!
:'''Swift Wind''': Okay, I'll give you a moment to freak out, and then we need to talk.
''[Glimmer and Bow both gasping]''
:'''Swift Wind''': ''[blusters]'' --Great! I think Adora needs our help. Since Adora transformed me, I've been able to feel where she is at all times. It's like instinct. But now I feel a pull, as if I'm being summoned to her side. ''[Bow touches Swift Wind's wing and gasps ecstatically]'' As part of Adora's herd, I need your help. Will you come?
''[Glimmer glitches, then hums resolutely]''
:'''Glimmer''': Of course. Lead the way.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Light Hope''': ''[Distorted, pitch shifting randomly]'' The Horde is hurting us. Balance Etheria.
:'''Adora''': ''[desperately, panicking]'' Light Hope? Light Hope, come back! I don't--I don't know what to do.
:'''Swift Wind''': ''[disembodied, hauntingly]'' Adoraa...''[normally]'' Adora!
:'''Adora''': Our horse?
:'''Swift Wind''': Once again, I'm no one's horse. I'm Swift Wind.
:'''Adora''': ''[shocked]'' You can talk?
:'''Swift Wind''': Yes, I can talk.
:'''Adora''': ''[still shocked]'' You can ''talk''?
:'''Swift Wind''': I can see now why you're friends with Bow and Glimmer. They need your help, which is why I'm here. So.... which way's the exit?
:'''Adora''': I don't know. Light Hope disappeared and I-I don't know if I should go back.
:'''Swift Wind''': What do you mean?
:'''Adora''': Light Hope said if I leave here, I'll make things worse. She's right. Everyone will be better off if I just stay far away from them. It's-It's for the greater good.
:'''Swift Wind''': ''[deadpans]'' Well, that's just stupid.
:'''Adora''': ''[incredulous]'' What? No, it's not.
:'''Swift Wind''': Adora, I've had the ability to form complex thought for like...a week, and even I know you can't help anyone by hiding. Where would all the horses I freed from their barns be if I just sat in a pasture and moped?
:'''Adora''': ''[scoffing]'' I am not moping... ''[Swift Wind blusters]'' I'm not! I hurt people, I ruined my friends' lives!
:'''Swift Wind''': If that's true, then why are Bow and Glimmer here trying to rescue you? ''[Hologram of Bow and Glimmer fighting off the spiders and holding Adora in reality]'' Bow and Glimmer are risking their lives. Not because you're She-Ra, but because you're their friend. What good is all your power if you don't use it to help the people that you love?
:'''Adora''': ...I'm not Mara. I'm not the She-Ras of the past. I didn't do this to fulfill some destiny. I became She-Ra to help others. My attachments, my friends, are a part of who I am.
:'''Swift Wind''': So. Are you staying? Or going?
:'''Adora''': Let's go.

===&quot;The Battle of Bright Moon&quot;===
:'''Angella''': Go on. Go get them.
''[Glimmer then teleports away, whilst Queen Angella cultivates the Stone.]''
:'''Glimmer''': YES!
:'''Bow''': Ha Ha, Glimmer! You're sparkling again!
:'''Glimmer''': Yeah! What I miss?
:'''Adora''': The Princesses are united! This is how it's supposed to be.
:'''Mermista''': What do you say? Ready to finish this?
:'''Perfuma''': ''[laughs]'' Thought you'd never ask.
:'''Netossa''': We're in.
:'''Frosta''': Let's do this already!

==Season 2==
===&quot;The Frozen Forest&quot;===
''(after Adora / She-Ra undergoes a VR training where she fights a virtual Catra)''
:'''Adora''': Did you have to make her so mean?
:'''Light Hope''': The simulation is designed for total accuracy. Is the one you call Catra not mean?
:'''Adora''': No. She is.
:'''Light Hope''': There. There. ''(Attempts to pat Adora on the head but her hand just goes through)''

===&quot;Ties That Bind&quot;===
:'''Adora''': Hey guys. You'll never guess what Swift Wind and I did today. We restored a First Ones' Watchtower so Light Hope can balance the planet, and we brought a whole field back to life and... What happened to you?
:'''Glimmer''': Oh Adora, we've got a lot to catch you up on.

===&quot;Signals&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': We'll handle this the way we always do.
:'''Adora''': Brute strength?
:'''Swift Wind''': Almost dying?
:'''Glimmer''': No. And no. By sticking together and never giving up.
:'''Bow''': Yeah! Best Friend Quad to the rescue!

===&quot;Roll With It&quot;===
:'''Scorpia''': Move those big weapony things! Flap those banners! Uh, keep doing whatever you're doing, guy I'm pointing at! Now do a different thing! And look sharp!

===&quot;White Out&quot;===
:'''Adora''': Wow, you sure are a big bug.

===&quot;Light Spinner&quot;===
''[Episode opens on Light Spinner and multiple teenagers practicing magic.]''
:'''Micah''': Woah...
:'''Light Spinner''': Impressive casting, Micah. But you allow yourself to become distracted.
:'''Kids''': Oooooooh
:'''Micah''': You can't expect me to out-cast Light Spinner; the greatest sorceress to ever walk the halls of Mystacor.
:'''Light Spinner''': I have no time for your flattery. If you're going to interrupt my lessons, you might at least apply yourself. I want focus as you cast your illusions.

===&quot;Reunion&quot;===
:'''Bow''': On one of our missions, we received a message from an unknown source. If we knew what Serenia meant, I think we could figure out the rest.
:'''Lance''': “Serenia, portal, Mara” Okay. But what are these other words?
:'''Adora''': I don't know. It's too degraded to read.
:'''George''': Wait a second. Lance, what does this pattern look like?
:'''Lance''': ''(gasps)'' Oh, I think you're right.
:'''Bow''': What is it?
:'''George''': Look at it, Bow. Really look at it. What do you see?
:'''Bow''': These aren't words at all, are they?
:'''Lance''': Oh, now you've got it. George, get the projector.
:'''George''': The world of the First Ones was different from ours. Climate, language, even the sky was different, filled with cosmic formations they called...
:'''Adora''': Stars!

==Season 3==
===&quot;The Price of Power&quot;===
:'''Castaspella''': Now for the last time, tell us what you know. ''(truth spell hums)''
:'''Shadow Weaver''': I know that when you cast a truth spell, you should make sure you've drawn it correctly. Sloppy work. Are you sure you're Micah's sister?
:'''Castaspella''': ''(growls)''
:'''Angella''': She's trying to get under our skin.
:'''Shadow Weaver''': You could spare yourself the trouble if you would just let me talk to Adora.
:'''Angella''': No, you've put that girl through enough. Now tell us the truth. Why did the Horde send you here? What are you planning?
:'''Shadow Weaver''': ''(laughs)'' You think Hordak sent me? I ''escaped'' from Hordak and paid the price for it.

===&quot;Huntara&quot;===
:'''Entrapta''': Imperfection is beautiful! At least, to me.

===&quot;Once Upon a Time in the Waste&quot;===
:'''Catra''': Shadow Weaver left me for you, all of this happened because of you.

===&quot;Moment of Truth&quot;===
:'''Adora''': You! You took me away from my family when I was a baby! You lied to me my whole life, about the Princesses, about Etheria, about who I am!
:'''Hordak''': I could not have lied to you about who you are. Because I have never known nor cared about someone as inconsequential as you.
:'''Adora''': ''(shouts)'' You should care, because I'm the one who's gonna make sure you fail!
:'''Hordak''': I will not fail. You have no power to stop me. I am opening that portal. And I am going to use your own sword to wipe out the rest of you pathetic Rebellion once and for –
''[Hordak's suit glitches, as he grunts]''
:'''Entrapta''': Oh.
:'''Hordak''': Get it to work.

===&quot;Remember&quot;===
: '''Adora''': It’s all my fault. I’ve been so afraid of becoming another Mara. Destroying the world the way she did…and now…it’s happening.
''[Adora grunts as Razz hits her with Broom]''
: '''Razz''': Destroy the world? ''[Chuckles]'' No. Mara saved the world, and so will you. But you can’t waste any more time. You need to go back to the beginning. You need to find the sword. That is the only way this will stop!
: '''Adora''': I did that, didn’t I? I went back to the Fright Zone. The portal wasn’t there!
: '''Razz''': No, that wasn’t the beginning. You need to go back to the very beginning.
: '''Adora''': I-I-I don’t understand.
: '''Razz''': That’s all right, dearie. You don’t need to understand. You just need to remember.
''[Trees crash as the portal glitching comes closer]''
: Adora: I have to remember…
: ''[Flashbacks of the Best Friend Squad]''
: '''Adora''': ''[Gasps]'' Bow and Glimmer. I need to find them!
: '''Razz''': Go on, dearie! Quickly!
''[The portal tears up the forest and Razz walks into it. Meanwhile, Catra groans as she climbs out of the abyss and walks on.]''

===&quot;The Portal&quot;===
:'''Queen Angella''': ''(last words)'' Take care of each other.
----
:'''Horde Prime''': ''(receiving Hordak's signal)'' So that's where you've been, little brother.

==Season 4==
===&quot;The Coronation&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': It's time for us to take back our home. Together we will push out the Horde, once and for all!

===&quot;The Valley of the Lost&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': ''[looks around as seaweed falls off her]'' Hey, you didn't save any bad guys for me! I made it here as soon as I could, I only got a little lost… in the ocean. ''[picks a piece of seaweed off herself]'' Aw. You should've waited for me.
:'''Adora''': ''[apologetically]'' Sorry… but we did get the ship! Your first mission as queen is a success!
:'''Glimmer''': ''[smiles]'' Hm.

===&quot;Flutterina&quot;===
''(episode opens having a dream)''
:'''Catra''': This time I am going to win! I don't care what it takes, We are opening that portal. Now!
:'''Entrapta''' (Dream): No! I won't, I need to tell Hordak; he'll understand! ''[shouting]''
:'''Catra''': Get her out of here!
:'''Entrapta''' (Dream): What did you do to me?
:'''Adora''' (Dream): Why did you do it?
''[Catra awakens from her dream gasping, shouting, then panting; Emily starts beeping]''
:'''Catra''': ''[shouts]'' Stay away from me!

===&quot;Pulse&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': You've been growing magic plants this whole time?! What do these do?
:'''Shadow Weaver''': Those are daises, I find them cheerful.

===&quot;Protocol&quot;===
''(Light Hope is reviewing a memory of herself with Mara)''
:'''Past Light Hope''': Pretty. Yes. They are aesthetically pleasing. Thank you for bringing them.
:'''Mara''': I thought they might liven the place up. It must be hard being stuck in here all the time.
:'''Past Light Hope''': I do not mind. Not when you come to visit me.
:'''Mara''': ''[laughing]''
:'''Light Hope''': This memory should have been purged per directive of the Heart of Etheria Project. Permantly delete.

===&quot;Princess Scorpia&quot;===
:'''Scorpia''': This guy...this is my granddad, the King. He was the greatest. I mean, that's what the Horde told me, anyway. I don't remember him, I was too young.

===&quot;Mer-Mysteries&quot;===
''[Inside the castle; fire crackles in the hearth as all the princesses, Bow, and Flutterina sit around a table; Glimmer stands in front of the fire]''
:'''Glimmer''': I called you all here to discuss what happened today. The mission to retake Dryl was a complete disaster. We barely made it out. ''[angrily]'' I wanna know why.
:'''Bow''': The Horde knew we were coming, they were ready for us. How do they keep doing this? We thought they were tracking Adora, but she wasn't even there today!
:'''Mermista''': Isn't it obvious? ''[slams hands down on table]'' There's a Horde spy somewhere in Bright Moon. ''[lightning crashes]'' ...And no one is going anywhere until we figure out who it is. ''[lightning crashes]''

===&quot;Boys' Night Out&quot;===
:'''Mermista''': ''(deadpan)'' Oh, look. More ice cream. 'Cause I'm the princess of ice cream now.

===&quot;Hero&quot;===
:'''Razz''': Oh, Mara ''[rubbing a gash presumably made by the sword in a tree]'' ...You were never supposed to succeed. ''[with tears in her eyes]'' They made a plan for you... ''[almost sobbing, tears falling]'' Razz could not do anything to help. ...I am sorry.

===&quot;Fractures&quot;===
:'''Catra''': Oh, I'm sorry, are you tired? We're all tired, but we're not going to rest until we have all of Etheria under our control. Everything is finally coming together. We're winning. So, get back out there. Problem?

===&quot;Beast Island&quot;===
:'''Micah''': Nothing will stop me from getting off this island and reuniting with my family!

===&quot;Destiny, Part 1&quot;===
:'''Catra:''' ''(to Hordak)'' Big Brother is going to be so impressed.

===&quot;Destiny, Part 2&quot;===
:'''Catra''': ''(belittling Hordak)'' Why would Horde Prime care about you? You're a defect, a mistake! Haven't you noticed I'm running things around here?
----
:'''Double Trouble''': ''(taunting Catra)'' People have hurt you. ''[Double Trouble takes Shadow Weaver’s form]'' They didn’t believe in you, ''[takes Hordak’s form]'' didn’t trust you, ''[takes Adora’s form]'' didn’t need you, left you. ''[Catra falls down and Double Trouble reverts to their true form]'' But did you ever stop to think that they're not the problem? ''[takes Scorpia’s form]'' It’s you; you drive them away, Wild Cat.

==Season 5==
===&quot;Horde Prime&quot;===
:'''Adora''': ''[quickly running and leaping, spinning and crashing her staff down on a drone as they scatter; shouting]'' For Etheria! ''[the drone begins to fly away, but Adora spins her staff again and impales it, making it buzz with electricity]''
''[The two Etherian civilians sigh in relief, then cry out in fear as another drone flies toward them; an arrow pierces and knocks down the drone]''
:'''Bow''': ''[leaping in and landing next to Adora; confidently]'' Two down.
''[A third drone flies upward and away before Swift Wind kicks it with a grunt, knocking it down]''
:'''Swift Wind''': And a whole Galactic Horde to go!

===&quot;Launch&quot;===
:'''Horde Prime''': Rejoice Etheria, for Prime has come to you. Do not fear for you have given the opportunity to share in a world soon to be remade in my image. But first, you must prove yourself worthy. Your leader, your She-Ra, she would see you suffering for her sake. Cast aside this false hero and deliver her to me. Prime sees all. Prime knows all. They will not escape my judgement.

===&quot;Corridors&quot;===
:'''Catra''': So...what would you be doing if you were back on Etheria right now and not, you know, a prisoner on an alien ship?
:'''Glimmer''': I guess maybe... ''[glances down at her hands]'' Maybe I'd go teleporting all around Etheria, visiting all the other princesses in their kingdoms. If it were a really perfect day, Bow, Adora, and I would be having a sleepover. ''[chuckles lightly; reminiscent, happily]'' We'd raid Bright Moon's kitchen for cake and then we'd eat it with our hands right off the platter.
:'''Catra''': ''[quietly]'' ...We used to have those.
:'''Glimmer''': What?
:'''Catra''': ''[reminiscent, both happily and sadly]'' Sleepovers, me and Adora, when we were cadets in the Horde. ''[breathes a slight chuckle]'' We'd play tricks on Kyle, stay up all night whispering about--''[pauses and blushes]''--you know, whatever.
:'''Glimmer''': ''[turning to look at Catra, happily]'' Did Adora still thrash around all night and, like, sleep-fight? What was that about? ''[laughs]''
:'''Catra''': ''[laughs; in good humor]'' She ''always'' did that. Adora can't even relax when she's asleep.
''[Both laugh for a moment]''
:'''Glimmer''': ''[longingly]'' I miss them. ''[ruefully]'' I was so awful to them the last time we saw each other... ''[quietly, resolutely]'' I'd do ''anything'' to go back and make it right. ''[pause as Catra looks increasingly rueful herself; Glimmer's tone brightens a bit]'' ...What about you? What would you be doing if we were back on Etheria?
:'''Catra''': I'd--''[pause as Catra looks ahead with realization in her eyes]'' Uh, nothing. ''[quietly, sadly]'' There's...nothing for me on Etheria.
''[Catra gets up and walks away as Glimmer turns and looks on; Catra breathes out a small sigh]''

===&quot;Stranded&quot;===
:'''Adora''': So, let me make sure I get this right. Catra saved you from Horde Prime. Like &quot;Catra&quot; Catra? Why would she do that? It doesn't make any sense.
:'''Glimmer''': She said she wanted to do one good thing in her life. She said she was doing it for you.
----
:'''Bow''': Ready to do something that probably won't work?
:'''Glimmer''': Always.

===&quot;Save the Cat&quot;===

===&quot;Taking Control&quot;===

===&quot;The Perils of Peekablue&quot;===

===&quot;Shot in the Dark&quot;===

===&quot;An Ill Wind&quot;===

===&quot;Return to the Fright Zone&quot;===

===&quot;Failsafe&quot;===

===&quot;Heart, Part 1&quot;===

===&quot;Heart, Part 2&quot;===

==Shorts==
===''Swift Wind Adventures'' (2019)===
====&quot;Unicorn Warrior Training!&quot;====
''(after Swift Wind trains Plumerian warriors)''
:'''Adora''': Who's in trouble?
:'''Swift Wind''': No one! I saved the day.

====&quot;Arm Wrestling Revenge!&quot;====
:'''Purple bar patron''': ''(speaks in native language)''
:'''Mermista''': She says the boat goes to the winner, so...
''(scene shifts to the group sailing in the boat)''
:'''Swift Wind''': Another day is saved by Swift Wind. Good job crew. Let's fly!
:'''Mermista''': Woo! Go captain Swift Wind. ''(to Sea Hawk)'' You heard him, fly that boat.
:'''Sea Hawk''': Oh, so now you cheer.
:'''Swift Wind''': For the honor of Grayskull!

====&quot;A Princess Birthday Party!&quot;====
:'''Frosta''': ''(upon seeing Swift Wind, she squeals happily)'' You're letting me ride Swift Wind for my birthday? Awesome! Can we go right now?
:'''Adora''': ''(chuckles nervously; high-pitched voice)'' Sure.
''(next, She-Ra and Frosta are riding Swift Wind)''
:'''Frosta''': EeeeeEEEEEEEEEE! HA! HA! HA! OH! Woooo! ''(laughing)'' Yea! This is the best birthday, EVER!

====&quot;Grounded Glimmer Jailbreak!&quot;====
:'''Adora''': Glimmer was supposed to join our recon mission to Plumeria. She was intercepted in the throne room. It's time for operation &quot;Free Glimmer&quot;.
:'''Bow''': Where did they take her? The Fright Zone?
:'''Swift Wind''': It's worse than that. We're going to... Glimmer's bedroom.
:'''Bow''': Wait a minute, what?
:'''Adora''': Queen Angella grounded Glimmer.

====&quot;Horse Hero Transformation!&quot;====
:'''Adora''': You said, no regrets!
:'''Swift Wind''': I didn't have any then! I do now.
:'''Adora''': Well, we can't go back in time, so what's next?

===''Princess Rebel Recruitment'' (2019)===

====&quot;Bow Begins the Fight&quot;====

====&quot;Glimmer Wants YOU to Join&quot;====

====&quot;Meditation with Perfuma&quot;====

====&quot;Mermista is the Coolest&quot;====

====&quot;Entrapta Stole Bow's Tracker Pad&quot;====

====&quot;The Evil Horde is EVIL&quot;====

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
* [http://www.dreamworkstv.com/she-ra/ Official website] at DreamWorksTV
* [https://www.netflix.com/title/80179762 Official website] at [[Netflix]]
* {{IMDb title|id=7745956|title=She-Ra and the Princesses of Power}}
[[Category:American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American LGBT-related TV shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]]
[[Category:LGBT-related animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Netflix shows]]
[[Category:Television series reboots]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2018 television series debuts]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]</text>
      <sha1>mufm3il6m3qqdj0zfn51730gfp6h51t</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944084</id>
      <parentid>3944083</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T23:22:19Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944084</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="28899" sha1="08e8zv8ihck6sjd7zu6xtqhf3hk4p2m" xml:space="preserve">{{Italic title}}'''''[[w:She-Ra and the Princesses of Power|She-Ra and the Princesses of Power]]''''' is an American animated television series developed for [[w:Netflix|Netflix]] by [[w:ND Stevenson|ND Stevenson]] and produced by [[w:DreamWorks Animation Television|DreamWorks Animation Television]]. Like the 1985 [[w:Filmation|Filmation]] series ''[[w:She-Ra: Princess of Power|She-Ra: Princess of Power]]'', of which it is a [[w:Reboot (fiction)|reboot]], ''She-Ra and the Princesses of Power'' tells the tale of [[w:Adora|Adora]], an adolescent girl who can transform into the heroine She-Ra and leads a group of other magical [[princess]]es in a rebellion against the evil Lord Hordak and his Horde.

The series ran on Netflix from November 13, 2018, to May 15, 2020, having released 52 episodes over 5 seasons. On linear TV, the show previously aired on CBBC in the United Kingdom, before it moved to Pop on January 30, 2023. It also aired on Disney Channel and DreamWorks Channel across the globe.
{{Stub}}

==Season 1==
===&quot;The Sword, Part 1&quot;===
:'''Catra''': Hey, Adora. How's it hanging?
:'''Adora''': Catra. Did you really show up late and let us do all the hard parts? That is low, even for you.
:'''Catra''': Aw. You know nothing's too low for me. Come on, you look stupid hanging down there.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Catra''': ''[Laughing]'' You should've seen your face. You were like, &quot;Aah, no! Betrayal.&quot;
:'''Adora''': ''[Scoffs]'' Come on, Catra. We're senior cadets now. I can't believe you're still pulling such childish, immature-- ''(abruptly)'' Is that a mouse?!
:'''Catra''': What!? Where!?
:'''Adora''': ''[Laughing]'' Are you ever going to not fall for that?
:'''Catra''': I don't know. Are you ever going to let it go? That was one time.
:'''Adora''': I know, but for some reason it's always funny. 
:'''Shadow Weaver''': ''[from off-screen]'' Adora. ''[Adora stands at her attention, between Catra. Weaver comes in]''
:'''Adora''': ''[saluting her]'' Shadow Weaver.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Angella''': That's enough! You're grounded.
:'''Glimmer''': ''[Scoffs]'' Mom!
:'''Angella''': You heard me!
:'''Glimmer''': You never let me do anything!

===&quot;The Sword, Part 2&quot;===
''(Adora transforms into She-Ra for the first time)''
:'''Bow''': Glimmer?
:'''Glimmer''': Yeah, I see her, Bow.
:'''Bow''': Okay. I wanted to make sure it wasn't just me.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
''[A Horde robot appears. Adora takes the sword as the robot races forward.]''
:'''Adora''': For the honor of Grayskull!
''[she transforms into She-Ra, and slices the robot in half. She-Ra glances back at Glimmer. Meanwhile, Bow and Catra fight. Bow flings Catra off and runs to the horse. Horde robots and tanks surround him.]''
:'''Bow''': It's been an honor serving beside you, Horsey.
''[Catra smiles as they close in, but She-Ra intervenes, and defeats the robots and tanks. Catra observes wearing a grim expression]''
:'''Glimmer:''' Bow! Are you okay?
:'''Bow:''' Is that Adora? 
:'''Glimmer''': It's She-Ra.
:'''Horde soldier''': Retreat! 
''[all screaming; The Horde retreats. The light flickers as She-Ra morphs back into Adora. She collapses on her knees, the sword in her right hand. As the smoke clears, Catra faces Adora.]''
:'''Adora''': Catra...
''[Catra backs away and disappears. Bow leaps on Adora.]''
:'''Bow''': You did it!
:'''Adora''': I did?
:'''Glimmer''': You saved us. You saved everyone!
:'''Adora''': ''[chuckles]'' I did it. I turned against the Horde. I turned against the Horde! Why did I do that? I can't go back now. Where am I supposed to go?
:'''Glimmer''': Hey, hey. It's okay. You're with us now. C’mon, let's go home. ''[Adora smiles and takes Glimmer's hand. They walk off with their arms around each other. Bow grins.]'' Best-friends squad!
''[The horse follows them.]''
:'''Bow''': Wait, whose horse was this?

===&quot;Razz&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': Eh... Bow, maybe you should take Adora in the back way?
:'''Bow''': Oh, yeah. Good call.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Adora''': ''[kneels and offers Angella the sword]'' I know you have no reason to trust me, Your Majesty. But I’ve seen for myself the atrocities the Horde has committed against the people of Etheria, and I’m ready to fight to stop them. If you give me the chance, I know I can help the Rebellion turn the tide of the war.
:'''Angella''': ''[takes the sword]'' I know the legend of the warrior the First Ones called She-Ra. They said she would return to us in the hour of our greatest need to bring balance to Etheria. I never thought she was anything more than a myth. And yet, you’re here now. And in the uniform of a Horde soldier, no less. You would pledge to stand with us against those you once served?
:'''Adora''': ''[sighs]'' Yes.
:'''Angella''': Glimmer, you would vouch for her and take responsibility for her?
:'''Glimmer''': Yes.
:'''Angella''': Then rise. The Rebellion accepts your allegiance, She-Ra, Princess of Power.
''[Angella returns the sword to Adora.]''
:'''Crowd''': ''[all chanting]'' She-Ra! She-Ra! She-Ra!
:'''Glimmer''': ''[shouts and hugs Adora]'' Welcome to Bright Moon!
:'''Bow''': ''[hugs]'' But for real this time.

===&quot;Flowers for She-Ra&quot;===
:'''Bow''': ''[Perfuma has conjured up a bead of flowers around Bow's forehead]'' Ooooh, I get a hat!

===&quot;The Sea Gate&quot;===
:'''Angella''': Council, we're looking for plans to strengthen our defenses against the Horde. Who would like to go first?
''[Glimmer's hand shoots up.]''
:'''Glimmer''': Me, me, me. Me. Me, me.
''[Angella sighs.]''
:'''Angella''': Who besides Glimmer would like to go first?

===&quot;System Failure&quot;===
:'''Entrapta''': You're lucky I found you. I designed the castle as a labyrinth. I'm the only one who can navigate it.
:'''Glimmer''': Which means you can help us find our friend?
:'''Entrapta''': Absolutely.
:'''She-Ra''': Is she sure about that?
:'''Glimmer''': Hi, um, I think we passed this picture already.
:'''Entrapta''': Oh, isn't it cute? You might be right. I usually have my electronic map to get around. But, well, like my bots it's sort of evil right now.
:'''Glimmer''': Yeah, about that-
:'''She-Ra''': Why did you invent killer robots?
:'''Entrapta''': You're abnormally tall. Hello! I like your sword. It's First Ones tech, right? Can I touch it?
:'''She-Ra''': Uh, thank you, yes, and no, not right now.
:'''Glimmer''': About the killer robots?
:'''Entrapta''': They didn't start out that way. Usually they're super useful. They do almost everything for me. Cleaning, filing, basic hygiene. Oh, and they're sound activated. Here, I'll show you!

===&quot;In the Shadows of Mystacor&quot;===
:'''Castaspella''': Adora. How nice, Glimmer has finally started making some new friends. We were all so pleased when she started bringing Bow around, I was sure she had made him up at first. ''[laughs]''

===&quot;Princess Prom&quot;===
:'''Adora''': Uh, hey, guys, I got an invite to the All Princess Ball, Winter Wonderland. Do you know what this is?
:'''Bow''' and '''Glimmer''': Princess Prom! Princess Prom! Princess Prom! We are going to Princess Prom!

===&quot;No Princess Left Behind&quot;===
:'''Kyle''': Eh... I'd better be leaving no.
:'''Bow''': No! Wait!
:'''Kyle''': I like your shirt.
:'''Bow''': Kyle!

===&quot;The Beacon&quot;===
:'''Adora''': ''[sadly]'' How could I let this happen? 
:'''Bow''': Adora, it’s not your fault. 
:'''Adora''': It IS my fault. Entrapta’s gone because of my plan.
:'''Mermista''': This only happened because we were all together. 
:'''Perfuma''': ''[with tears in her eyes]'' Mermista’s right, being together makes us vulnerable.

===&quot;Promise&quot;===
:'''Young Catra''': ''[sniffles and grunts]'' Does it look broken to you?! ''[sniffs a few times]''
:'''Young Adora''': ''[incredulous, almost laughingly]'' It's not broken, you're fine!
:'''Young Catra''': ''[looks at her hand where she touched her nose and shrieks]'' I'm bleeding!
:'''Young Adora''': You're not bleeding! And why would you try and pick a fight with Octavia anyway?
:'''Young Catra''': I didn't do anything, all I did was exist near her. ...And scratch her on the eyeball. And call her a dumbface.
:'''Young Adora''': ''[scoffs]'' Catra--
:'''Young Catra''': What?! She has a dumb face!
:'''Young Adora''': ''[lowers voice in a disarming, complying way; offers her hand]'' Where is she?
''[Young Catra takes Young Adora's hand and leads them to a different room, pointing down at Octavia]''
:'''Young Adora''': Hey, Octavia! ''[Octavia looks up and grunts an acknowledgement]'' You're a dumbface!
''[Octavia roars angrily, stomping up the ramp to chase the kids]''
:'''Young Catra''': ''[laughing]'' She's coming!
:'''Young Adora''': Run!
''[The kids run away holding hands and laughing]''

===&quot;Light Hope&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': But shouldn't she be ''[glitches and grunts]'' back by now? She said she was gonna ''[glitches and grunts]'' get training to ''[glitches and grunts]'' fix me! How long is that going to take--''[runs into chair, chair squeaks across floor]'' OW! ''[sharp intake of breath]'' And what kind of monster puts a chair here?!
:'''Bow''': Okay, I'm worried, too, Glimmer, but taking it out on the furniture isn't going to help.
:'''Glimmer''': We can't sit here and hope that she comes back eventually. We have to do something.
:'''Bow''': Like what?
''[knocking on door]''
:'''Guard''': Princess? There's, uh, something here to see you.
:'''Glimmer''': Don't you mean someone?
:'''Guard''': No. I mean something.
''[Swift Wind clops and whinnies down the hallway]''
:'''Bow''': Our horse!
:'''Swift Wind''': I am my own horse. Call me ''[in a deeper, more regal voice]'' Swift Wind!
''[Glimmer and Bow scream]''
:'''Bow''': Our horse can talk! ''[gasps]''
:'''Swift Wind''': Yeah, yeah, I can speak my mind now, pretty crazy--SO, I was thinking--
:'''Bow''': He's a talking hoOoOoOrse!
:'''Swift Wind''': As we've established. Now--
:'''Glimmer''': He has wings!
:'''Swift Wind''': Okay, I'll give you a moment to freak out, and then we need to talk.
''[Glimmer and Bow both gasping]''
:'''Swift Wind''': ''[blusters]'' --Great! I think Adora needs our help. Since Adora transformed me, I've been able to feel where she is at all times. It's like instinct. But now I feel a pull, as if I'm being summoned to her side. ''[Bow touches Swift Wind's wing and gasps ecstatically]'' As part of Adora's herd, I need your help. Will you come?
''[Glimmer glitches, then hums resolutely]''
:'''Glimmer''': Of course. Lead the way.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Light Hope''': ''[Distorted, pitch shifting randomly]'' The Horde is hurting us. Balance Etheria.
:'''Adora''': ''[desperately, panicking]'' Light Hope? Light Hope, come back! I don't--I don't know what to do.
:'''Swift Wind''': ''[disembodied, hauntingly]'' Adoraa...''[normally]'' Adora!
:'''Adora''': Our horse?
:'''Swift Wind''': Once again, I'm no one's horse. I'm Swift Wind.
:'''Adora''': ''[shocked]'' You can talk?
:'''Swift Wind''': Yes, I can talk.
:'''Adora''': ''[still shocked]'' You can ''talk''?
:'''Swift Wind''': I can see now why you're friends with Bow and Glimmer. They need your help, which is why I'm here. So.... which way's the exit?
:'''Adora''': I don't know. Light Hope disappeared and I-I don't know if I should go back.
:'''Swift Wind''': What do you mean?
:'''Adora''': Light Hope said if I leave here, I'll make things worse. She's right. Everyone will be better off if I just stay far away from them. It's-It's for the greater good.
:'''Swift Wind''': ''[deadpans]'' Well, that's just stupid.
:'''Adora''': ''[incredulous]'' What? No, it's not.
:'''Swift Wind''': Adora, I've had the ability to form complex thought for like...a week, and even I know you can't help anyone by hiding. Where would all the horses I freed from their barns be if I just sat in a pasture and moped?
:'''Adora''': ''[scoffing]'' I am not moping... ''[Swift Wind blusters]'' I'm not! I hurt people, I ruined my friends' lives!
:'''Swift Wind''': If that's true, then why are Bow and Glimmer here trying to rescue you? ''[Hologram of Bow and Glimmer fighting off the spiders and holding Adora in reality]'' Bow and Glimmer are risking their lives. Not because you're She-Ra, but because you're their friend. What good is all your power if you don't use it to help the people that you love?
:'''Adora''': ...I'm not Mara. I'm not the She-Ras of the past. I didn't do this to fulfill some destiny. I became She-Ra to help others. My attachments, my friends, are a part of who I am.
:'''Swift Wind''': So. Are you staying? Or going?
:'''Adora''': Let's go.

===&quot;The Battle of Bright Moon&quot;===
:'''Angella''': Go on. Go get them.
''[Glimmer then teleports away, whilst Queen Angella cultivates the Stone.]''
:'''Glimmer''': YES!
:'''Bow''': Ha Ha, Glimmer! You're sparkling again!
:'''Glimmer''': Yeah! What I miss?
:'''Adora''': The Princesses are united! This is how it's supposed to be.
:'''Mermista''': What do you say? Ready to finish this?
:'''Perfuma''': ''[laughs]'' Thought you'd never ask.
:'''Netossa''': We're in.
:'''Frosta''': Let's do this already!

==Season 2==
===&quot;The Frozen Forest&quot;===
''(after Adora / She-Ra undergoes a VR training where she fights a virtual Catra)''
:'''Adora''': Did you have to make her so mean?
:'''Light Hope''': The simulation is designed for total accuracy. Is the one you call Catra not mean?
:'''Adora''': No. She is.
:'''Light Hope''': There. There. ''(Attempts to pat Adora on the head but her hand just goes through)''

===&quot;Ties That Bind&quot;===
:'''Adora''': Hey guys. You'll never guess what Swift Wind and I did today. We restored a First Ones' Watchtower so Light Hope can balance the planet, and we brought a whole field back to life and... What happened to you?
:'''Glimmer''': Oh Adora, we've got a lot to catch you up on.

===&quot;Signals&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': We'll handle this the way we always do.
:'''Adora''': Brute strength?
:'''Swift Wind''': Almost dying?
:'''Glimmer''': No. And no. By sticking together and never giving up.
:'''Bow''': Yeah! Best Friend Quad to the rescue!

===&quot;Roll With It&quot;===
:'''Scorpia''': Move those big weapony things! Flap those banners! Uh, keep doing whatever you're doing, guy I'm pointing at! Now do a different thing! And look sharp!

===&quot;White Out&quot;===
:'''Adora''': Wow, you sure are a big bug.

===&quot;Light Spinner&quot;===
''[Episode opens on Light Spinner and multiple teenagers practicing magic.]''
:'''Micah''': Woah...
:'''Light Spinner''': Impressive casting, Micah. But you allow yourself to become distracted.
:'''Kids''': Oooooooh
:'''Micah''': You can't expect me to out-cast Light Spinner; the greatest sorceress to ever walk the halls of Mystacor.
:'''Light Spinner''': I have no time for your flattery. If you're going to interrupt my lessons, you might at least apply yourself. I want focus as you cast your illusions.

===&quot;Reunion&quot;===
:'''Bow''': On one of our missions, we received a message from an unknown source. If we knew what Serenia meant, I think we could figure out the rest.
:'''Lance''': “Serenia, portal, Mara” Okay. But what are these other words?
:'''Adora''': I don't know. It's too degraded to read.
:'''George''': Wait a second. Lance, what does this pattern look like?
:'''Lance''': ''(gasps)'' Oh, I think you're right.
:'''Bow''': What is it?
:'''George''': Look at it, Bow. Really look at it. What do you see?
:'''Bow''': These aren't words at all, are they?
:'''Lance''': Oh, now you've got it. George, get the projector.
:'''George''': The world of the First Ones was different from ours. Climate, language, even the sky was different, filled with cosmic formations they called...
:'''Adora''': Stars!

==Season 3==
===&quot;The Price of Power&quot;===
:'''Castaspella''': Now for the last time, tell us what you know. ''(truth spell hums)''
:'''Shadow Weaver''': I know that when you cast a truth spell, you should make sure you've drawn it correctly. Sloppy work. Are you sure you're Micah's sister?
:'''Castaspella''': ''(growls)''
:'''Angella''': She's trying to get under our skin.
:'''Shadow Weaver''': You could spare yourself the trouble if you would just let me talk to Adora.
:'''Angella''': No, you've put that girl through enough. Now tell us the truth. Why did the Horde send you here? What are you planning?
:'''Shadow Weaver''': ''(laughs)'' You think Hordak sent me? I ''escaped'' from Hordak and paid the price for it.

===&quot;Huntara&quot;===
:'''Entrapta''': Imperfection is beautiful! At least, to me.

===&quot;Once Upon a Time in the Waste&quot;===
:'''Catra''': Shadow Weaver left me for you, all of this happened because of you.

===&quot;Moment of Truth&quot;===
:'''Adora''': You! You took me away from my family when I was a baby! You lied to me my whole life, about the Princesses, about Etheria, about who I am!
:'''Hordak''': I could not have lied to you about who you are. Because I have never known nor cared about someone as inconsequential as you.
:'''Adora''': ''(shouts)'' You should care, because I'm the one who's gonna make sure you fail!
:'''Hordak''': I will not fail. You have no power to stop me. I am opening that portal. And I am going to use your own sword to wipe out the rest of you pathetic Rebellion once and for –
''[Hordak's suit glitches, as he grunts]''
:'''Entrapta''': Oh.
:'''Hordak''': Get it to work.

===&quot;Remember&quot;===
: '''Adora''': It’s all my fault. I’ve been so afraid of becoming another Mara. Destroying the world the way she did…and now…it’s happening.
''[Adora grunts as Razz hits her with Broom]''
: '''Razz''': Destroy the world? ''[Chuckles]'' No. Mara saved the world, and so will you. But you can’t waste any more time. You need to go back to the beginning. You need to find the sword. That is the only way this will stop!
: '''Adora''': I did that, didn’t I? I went back to the Fright Zone. The portal wasn’t there!
: '''Razz''': No, that wasn’t the beginning. You need to go back to the very beginning.
: '''Adora''': I-I-I don’t understand.
: '''Razz''': That’s all right, dearie. You don’t need to understand. You just need to remember.
''[Trees crash as the portal glitching comes closer]''
: Adora: I have to remember…
: ''[Flashbacks of the Best Friend Squad]''
: '''Adora''': ''[Gasps]'' Bow and Glimmer. I need to find them!
: '''Razz''': Go on, dearie! Quickly!
''[The portal tears up the forest and Razz walks into it. Meanwhile, Catra groans as she climbs out of the abyss and walks on.]''

===&quot;The Portal&quot;===
:'''Queen Angella''': ''(last words)'' Take care of each other.
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Horde Prime''': ''(receiving Hordak's signal)'' So that's where you've been, little brother.

==Season 4==
===&quot;The Coronation&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': It's time for us to take back our home. Together we will push out the Horde, once and for all!

===&quot;The Valley of the Lost&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': ''[looks around as seaweed falls off her]'' Hey, you didn't save any bad guys for me! I made it here as soon as I could, I only got a little lost… in the ocean. ''[picks a piece of seaweed off herself]'' Aw. You should've waited for me.
:'''Adora''': ''[apologetically]'' Sorry… but we did get the ship! Your first mission as queen is a success!
:'''Glimmer''': ''[smiles]'' Hm.

===&quot;Flutterina&quot;===
''(episode opens having a dream)''
:'''Catra''': This time I am going to win! I don't care what it takes, We are opening that portal. Now!
:'''Entrapta''' (Dream): No! I won't, I need to tell Hordak; he'll understand! ''[shouting]''
:'''Catra''': Get her out of here!
:'''Entrapta''' (Dream): What did you do to me?
:'''Adora''' (Dream): Why did you do it?
''[Catra awakens from her dream gasping, shouting, then panting; Emily starts beeping]''
:'''Catra''': ''[shouts]'' Stay away from me!

===&quot;Pulse&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': You've been growing magic plants this whole time?! What do these do?
:'''Shadow Weaver''': Those are daises, I find them cheerful.

===&quot;Protocol&quot;===
''(Light Hope is reviewing a memory of herself with Mara)''
:'''Past Light Hope''': Pretty. Yes. They are aesthetically pleasing. Thank you for bringing them.
:'''Mara''': I thought they might liven the place up. It must be hard being stuck in here all the time.
:'''Past Light Hope''': I do not mind. Not when you come to visit me.
:'''Mara''': ''[laughing]''
:'''Light Hope''': This memory should have been purged per directive of the Heart of Etheria Project. Permantly delete.

===&quot;Princess Scorpia&quot;===
:'''Scorpia''': This guy...this is my granddad, the King. He was the greatest. I mean, that's what the Horde told me, anyway. I don't remember him, I was too young.

===&quot;Mer-Mysteries&quot;===
''[Inside the castle; fire crackles in the hearth as all the princesses, Bow, and Flutterina sit around a table; Glimmer stands in front of the fire]''
:'''Glimmer''': I called you all here to discuss what happened today. The mission to retake Dryl was a complete disaster. We barely made it out. ''[angrily]'' I wanna know why.
:'''Bow''': The Horde knew we were coming, they were ready for us. How do they keep doing this? We thought they were tracking Adora, but she wasn't even there today!
:'''Mermista''': Isn't it obvious? ''[slams hands down on table]'' There's a Horde spy somewhere in Bright Moon. ''[lightning crashes]'' ...And no one is going anywhere until we figure out who it is. ''[lightning crashes]''

===&quot;Boys' Night Out&quot;===
:'''Mermista''': ''(deadpan)'' Oh, look. More ice cream. 'Cause I'm the princess of ice cream now.

===&quot;Hero&quot;===
:'''Razz''': Oh, Mara ''[rubbing a gash presumably made by the sword in a tree]'' ...You were never supposed to succeed. ''[with tears in her eyes]'' They made a plan for you... ''[almost sobbing, tears falling]'' Razz could not do anything to help. ...I am sorry.

===&quot;Fractures&quot;===
:'''Catra''': Oh, I'm sorry, are you tired? We're all tired, but we're not going to rest until we have all of Etheria under our control. Everything is finally coming together. We're winning. So, get back out there. Problem?

===&quot;Beast Island&quot;===
:'''Micah''': Nothing will stop me from getting off this island and reuniting with my family!

===&quot;Destiny, Part 1&quot;===
:'''Catra:''' ''(to Hordak)'' Big Brother is going to be so impressed.

===&quot;Destiny, Part 2&quot;===
:'''Catra''': ''(belittling Hordak)'' Why would Horde Prime care about you? You're a defect, a mistake! Haven't you noticed I'm running things around here?
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Double Trouble''': ''(taunting Catra)'' People have hurt you. ''[Double Trouble takes Shadow Weaver’s form]'' They didn’t believe in you, ''[takes Hordak’s form]'' didn’t trust you, ''[takes Adora’s form]'' didn’t need you, left you. ''[Catra falls down and Double Trouble reverts to their true form]'' But did you ever stop to think that they're not the problem? ''[takes Scorpia’s form]'' It’s you; you drive them away, Wild Cat.

==Season 5==
===&quot;Horde Prime&quot;===
:'''Adora''': ''[quickly running and leaping, spinning and crashing her staff down on a drone as they scatter; shouting]'' For Etheria! ''[the drone begins to fly away, but Adora spins her staff again and impales it, making it buzz with electricity]''
''[The two Etherian civilians sigh in relief, then cry out in fear as another drone flies toward them; an arrow pierces and knocks down the drone]''
:'''Bow''': ''[leaping in and landing next to Adora; confidently]'' Two down.
''[A third drone flies upward and away before Swift Wind kicks it with a grunt, knocking it down]''
:'''Swift Wind''': And a whole Galactic Horde to go!

===&quot;Launch&quot;===
:'''Horde Prime''': Rejoice Etheria, for Prime has come to you. Do not fear for you have given the opportunity to share in a world soon to be remade in my image. But first, you must prove yourself worthy. Your leader, your She-Ra, she would see you suffering for her sake. Cast aside this false hero and deliver her to me. Prime sees all. Prime knows all. They will not escape my judgement.

===&quot;Corridors&quot;===
:'''Catra''': So...what would you be doing if you were back on Etheria right now and not, you know, a prisoner on an alien ship?
:'''Glimmer''': I guess maybe... ''[glances down at her hands]'' Maybe I'd go teleporting all around Etheria, visiting all the other princesses in their kingdoms. If it were a really perfect day, Bow, Adora, and I would be having a sleepover. ''[chuckles lightly; reminiscent, happily]'' We'd raid Bright Moon's kitchen for cake and then we'd eat it with our hands right off the platter.
:'''Catra''': ''[quietly]'' ...We used to have those.
:'''Glimmer''': What?
:'''Catra''': ''[reminiscent, both happily and sadly]'' Sleepovers, me and Adora, when we were cadets in the Horde. ''[breathes a slight chuckle]'' We'd play tricks on Kyle, stay up all night whispering about--''[pauses and blushes]''--you know, whatever.
:'''Glimmer''': ''[turning to look at Catra, happily]'' Did Adora still thrash around all night and, like, sleep-fight? What was that about? ''[laughs]''
:'''Catra''': ''[laughs; in good humor]'' She ''always'' did that. Adora can't even relax when she's asleep.
''[Both laugh for a moment]''
:'''Glimmer''': ''[longingly]'' I miss them. ''[ruefully]'' I was so awful to them the last time we saw each other... ''[quietly, resolutely]'' I'd do ''anything'' to go back and make it right. ''[pause as Catra looks increasingly rueful herself; Glimmer's tone brightens a bit]'' ...What about you? What would you be doing if we were back on Etheria?
:'''Catra''': I'd--''[pause as Catra looks ahead with realization in her eyes]'' Uh, nothing. ''[quietly, sadly]'' There's...nothing for me on Etheria.
''[Catra gets up and walks away as Glimmer turns and looks on; Catra breathes out a small sigh]''

===&quot;Stranded&quot;===
:'''Adora''': So, let me make sure I get this right. Catra saved you from Horde Prime. Like &quot;Catra&quot; Catra? Why would she do that? It doesn't make any sense.
:'''Glimmer''': She said she wanted to do one good thing in her life. She said she was doing it for you.
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Bow''': Ready to do something that probably won't work?
:'''Glimmer''': Always.

===&quot;Save the Cat&quot;===
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
===&quot;Taking Control&quot;===
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
===&quot;The Perils of Peekablue&quot;===
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
===&quot;Shot in the Dark&quot;===
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
===&quot;An Ill Wind&quot;===
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
===&quot;Return to the Fright Zone&quot;===
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
===&quot;Failsafe&quot;===
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
===&quot;Heart, Part 1&quot;===
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
===&quot;Heart, Part 2&quot;===
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
==Shorts==
===''Swift Wind Adventures'' (2019)===
====&quot;Unicorn Warrior Training!&quot;====
''(after Swift Wind trains Plumerian warriors)''
:'''Adora''': Who's in trouble?
:'''Swift Wind''': No one! I saved the day.

====&quot;Arm Wrestling Revenge!&quot;====
:'''Purple bar patron''': ''(speaks in native language)''
:'''Mermista''': She says the boat goes to the winner, so...
''(scene shifts to the group sailing in the boat)''
:'''Swift Wind''': Another day is saved by Swift Wind. Good job crew. Let's fly!
:'''Mermista''': Woo! Go captain Swift Wind. ''(to Sea Hawk)'' You heard him, fly that boat.
:'''Sea Hawk''': Oh, so now you cheer.
:'''Swift Wind''': For the honor of Grayskull!

====&quot;A Princess Birthday Party!&quot;====
:'''Frosta''': ''(upon seeing Swift Wind, she squeals happily)'' You're letting me ride Swift Wind for my birthday? Awesome! Can we go right now?
:'''Adora''': ''(chuckles nervously; high-pitched voice)'' Sure.
''(next, She-Ra and Frosta are riding Swift Wind)''
:'''Frosta''': EeeeeEEEEEEEEEE! HA! HA! HA! OH! Woooo! ''(laughing)'' Yea! This is the best birthday, EVER!

====&quot;Grounded Glimmer Jailbreak!&quot;====
:'''Adora''': Glimmer was supposed to join our recon mission to Plumeria. She was intercepted in the throne room. It's time for operation &quot;Free Glimmer&quot;.
:'''Bow''': Where did they take her? The Fright Zone?
:'''Swift Wind''': It's worse than that. We're going to... Glimmer's bedroom.
:'''Bow''': Wait a minute, what?
:'''Adora''': Queen Angella grounded Glimmer.

====&quot;Horse Hero Transformation!&quot;====
:'''Adora''': You said, no regrets!
:'''Swift Wind''': I didn't have any then! I do now.
:'''Adora''': Well, we can't go back in time, so what's next?

===''Princess Rebel Recruitment'' (2019)===

====&quot;Bow Begins the Fight&quot;====

====&quot;Glimmer Wants YOU to Join&quot;====

====&quot;Meditation with Perfuma&quot;====

====&quot;Mermista is the Coolest&quot;====

====&quot;Entrapta Stole Bow's Tracker Pad&quot;====

====&quot;The Evil Horde is EVIL&quot;====

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
* [http://www.dreamworkstv.com/she-ra/ Official website] at DreamWorksTV
* [https://www.netflix.com/title/80179762 Official website] at [[Netflix]]
* {{IMDb title|id=7745956|title=She-Ra and the Princesses of Power}}
[[Category:American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American LGBT-related TV shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]]
[[Category:LGBT-related animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Netflix shows]]
[[Category:Television series reboots]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2018 television series debuts]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]</text>
      <sha1>08e8zv8ihck6sjd7zu6xtqhf3hk4p2m</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944159</id>
      <parentid>3944084</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T11:21:41Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* External links */</comment>
      <origin>3944159</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="31165" sha1="hwadlemm3zr8bajr2mqxlmbl3biajci" xml:space="preserve">{{Italic title}}'''''[[w:She-Ra and the Princesses of Power|She-Ra and the Princesses of Power]]''''' is an American animated television series developed for [[w:Netflix|Netflix]] by [[w:ND Stevenson|ND Stevenson]] and produced by [[w:DreamWorks Animation Television|DreamWorks Animation Television]]. Like the 1985 [[w:Filmation|Filmation]] series ''[[w:She-Ra: Princess of Power|She-Ra: Princess of Power]]'', of which it is a [[w:Reboot (fiction)|reboot]], ''She-Ra and the Princesses of Power'' tells the tale of [[w:Adora|Adora]], an adolescent girl who can transform into the heroine She-Ra and leads a group of other magical [[princess]]es in a rebellion against the evil Lord Hordak and his Horde.

The series ran on Netflix from November 13, 2018, to May 15, 2020, having released 52 episodes over 5 seasons. On linear TV, the show previously aired on CBBC in the United Kingdom, before it moved to Pop on January 30, 2023. It also aired on Disney Channel and DreamWorks Channel across the globe.
{{Stub}}

==Season 1==
===&quot;The Sword, Part 1&quot;===
:'''Catra''': Hey, Adora. How's it hanging?
:'''Adora''': Catra. Did you really show up late and let us do all the hard parts? That is low, even for you.
:'''Catra''': Aw. You know nothing's too low for me. Come on, you look stupid hanging down there.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Catra''': ''[Laughing]'' You should've seen your face. You were like, &quot;Aah, no! Betrayal.&quot;
:'''Adora''': ''[Scoffs]'' Come on, Catra. We're senior cadets now. I can't believe you're still pulling such childish, immature-- ''(abruptly)'' Is that a mouse?!
:'''Catra''': What!? Where!?
:'''Adora''': ''[Laughing]'' Are you ever going to not fall for that?
:'''Catra''': I don't know. Are you ever going to let it go? That was one time.
:'''Adora''': I know, but for some reason it's always funny. 
:'''Shadow Weaver''': ''[from off-screen]'' Adora. ''[Adora stands at her attention, between Catra. Weaver comes in]''
:'''Adora''': ''[saluting her]'' Shadow Weaver.
&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Angella''': That's enough! You're grounded.
:'''Glimmer''': ''[Scoffs]'' Mom!
:'''Angella''': You heard me!
:'''Glimmer''': You never let me do anything!

===&quot;The Sword, Part 2&quot;===
''(Adora transforms into She-Ra for the first time)''
:'''Bow''': Glimmer?
:'''Glimmer''': Yeah, I see her, Bow.
:'''Bow''': Okay. I wanted to make sure it wasn't just me.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
''[A Horde robot appears. Adora takes the sword as the robot races forward.]''
:'''Adora''': For the honor of Grayskull!
''[she transforms into She-Ra, and slices the robot in half. She-Ra glances back at Glimmer. Meanwhile, Bow and Catra fight. Bow flings Catra off and runs to the horse. Horde robots and tanks surround him.]''
:'''Bow''': It's been an honor serving beside you, Horsey.
''[Catra smiles as they close in, but She-Ra intervenes, and defeats the robots and tanks. Catra observes wearing a grim expression]''
:'''Glimmer:''' Bow! Are you okay?
:'''Bow:''' Is that Adora? 
:'''Glimmer''': It's She-Ra.
:'''Horde soldier''': Retreat! 
''[all screaming; The Horde retreats. The light flickers as She-Ra morphs back into Adora. She collapses on her knees, the sword in her right hand. As the smoke clears, Catra faces Adora.]''
:'''Adora''': Catra...
''[Catra backs away and disappears. Bow leaps on Adora.]''
:'''Bow''': You did it!
:'''Adora''': I did?
:'''Glimmer''': You saved us. You saved everyone!
:'''Adora''': ''[chuckles]'' I did it. I turned against the Horde. I turned against the Horde! Why did I do that? I can't go back now. Where am I supposed to go?
:'''Glimmer''': Hey, hey. It's okay. You're with us now. C’mon, let's go home. ''[Adora smiles and takes Glimmer's hand. They walk off with their arms around each other. Bow grins.]'' Best-friends squad!
''[The horse follows them.]''
:'''Bow''': Wait, whose horse was this?

===&quot;Razz&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': Eh... Bow, maybe you should take Adora in the back way?
:'''Bow''': Oh, yeah. Good call.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Adora''': ''[kneels and offers Angella the sword]'' I know you have no reason to trust me, Your Majesty. But I’ve seen for myself the atrocities the Horde has committed against the people of Etheria, and I’m ready to fight to stop them. If you give me the chance, I know I can help the Rebellion turn the tide of the war.
:'''Angella''': ''[takes the sword]'' I know the legend of the warrior the First Ones called She-Ra. They said she would return to us in the hour of our greatest need to bring balance to Etheria. I never thought she was anything more than a myth. And yet, you’re here now. And in the uniform of a Horde soldier, no less. You would pledge to stand with us against those you once served?
:'''Adora''': ''[sighs]'' Yes.
:'''Angella''': Glimmer, you would vouch for her and take responsibility for her?
:'''Glimmer''': Yes.
:'''Angella''': Then rise. The Rebellion accepts your allegiance, She-Ra, Princess of Power.
''[Angella returns the sword to Adora.]''
:'''Crowd''': ''[all chanting]'' She-Ra! She-Ra! She-Ra!
:'''Glimmer''': ''[shouts and hugs Adora]'' Welcome to Bright Moon!
:'''Bow''': ''[hugs]'' But for real this time.

===&quot;Flowers for She-Ra&quot;===
:'''Bow''': ''[Perfuma has conjured up a bead of flowers around Bow's forehead]'' Ooooh, I get a hat!

===&quot;The Sea Gate&quot;===
:'''Angella''': Council, we're looking for plans to strengthen our defenses against the Horde. Who would like to go first?
''[Glimmer's hand shoots up.]''
:'''Glimmer''': Me, me, me. Me. Me, me.
''[Angella sighs.]''
:'''Angella''': Who besides Glimmer would like to go first?

===&quot;System Failure&quot;===
:'''Entrapta''': You're lucky I found you. I designed the castle as a labyrinth. I'm the only one who can navigate it.
:'''Glimmer''': Which means you can help us find our friend?
:'''Entrapta''': Absolutely.
:'''She-Ra''': Is she sure about that?
:'''Glimmer''': Hi, um, I think we passed this picture already.
:'''Entrapta''': Oh, isn't it cute? You might be right. I usually have my electronic map to get around. But, well, like my bots it's sort of evil right now.
:'''Glimmer''': Yeah, about that-
:'''She-Ra''': Why did you invent killer robots?
:'''Entrapta''': You're abnormally tall. Hello! I like your sword. It's First Ones tech, right? Can I touch it?
:'''She-Ra''': Uh, thank you, yes, and no, not right now.
:'''Glimmer''': About the killer robots?
:'''Entrapta''': They didn't start out that way. Usually they're super useful. They do almost everything for me. Cleaning, filing, basic hygiene. Oh, and they're sound activated. Here, I'll show you!

===&quot;In the Shadows of Mystacor&quot;===
:'''Castaspella''': Adora. How nice, Glimmer has finally started making some new friends. We were all so pleased when she started bringing Bow around, I was sure she had made him up at first. ''[laughs]''

===&quot;Princess Prom&quot;===
:'''Adora''': Uh, hey, guys, I got an invite to the All Princess Ball, Winter Wonderland. Do you know what this is?
:'''Bow''' and '''Glimmer''': Princess Prom! Princess Prom! Princess Prom! We are going to Princess Prom!

===&quot;No Princess Left Behind&quot;===
:'''Kyle''': Eh... I'd better be leaving no.
:'''Bow''': No! Wait!
:'''Kyle''': I like your shirt.
:'''Bow''': Kyle!

===&quot;The Beacon&quot;===
:'''Adora''': ''[sadly]'' How could I let this happen? 
:'''Bow''': Adora, it’s not your fault. 
:'''Adora''': It IS my fault. Entrapta’s gone because of my plan.
:'''Mermista''': This only happened because we were all together. 
:'''Perfuma''': ''[with tears in her eyes]'' Mermista’s right, being together makes us vulnerable.

===&quot;Promise&quot;===
:'''Young Catra''': ''[sniffles and grunts]'' Does it look broken to you?! ''[sniffs a few times]''
:'''Young Adora''': ''[incredulous, almost laughingly]'' It's not broken, you're fine!
:'''Young Catra''': ''[looks at her hand where she touched her nose and shrieks]'' I'm bleeding!
:'''Young Adora''': You're not bleeding! And why would you try and pick a fight with Octavia anyway?
:'''Young Catra''': I didn't do anything, all I did was exist near her. ...And scratch her on the eyeball. And call her a dumbface.
:'''Young Adora''': ''[scoffs]'' Catra--
:'''Young Catra''': What?! She has a dumb face!
:'''Young Adora''': ''[lowers voice in a disarming, complying way; offers her hand]'' Where is she?
''[Young Catra takes Young Adora's hand and leads them to a different room, pointing down at Octavia]''
:'''Young Adora''': Hey, Octavia! ''[Octavia looks up and grunts an acknowledgement]'' You're a dumbface!
''[Octavia roars angrily, stomping up the ramp to chase the kids]''
:'''Young Catra''': ''[laughing]'' She's coming!
:'''Young Adora''': Run!
''[The kids run away holding hands and laughing]''

===&quot;Light Hope&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': But shouldn't she be ''[glitches and grunts]'' back by now? She said she was gonna ''[glitches and grunts]'' get training to ''[glitches and grunts]'' fix me! How long is that going to take--''[runs into chair, chair squeaks across floor]'' OW! ''[sharp intake of breath]'' And what kind of monster puts a chair here?!
:'''Bow''': Okay, I'm worried, too, Glimmer, but taking it out on the furniture isn't going to help.
:'''Glimmer''': We can't sit here and hope that she comes back eventually. We have to do something.
:'''Bow''': Like what?
''[knocking on door]''
:'''Guard''': Princess? There's, uh, something here to see you.
:'''Glimmer''': Don't you mean someone?
:'''Guard''': No. I mean something.
''[Swift Wind clops and whinnies down the hallway]''
:'''Bow''': Our horse!
:'''Swift Wind''': I am my own horse. Call me ''[in a deeper, more regal voice]'' Swift Wind!
''[Glimmer and Bow scream]''
:'''Bow''': Our horse can talk! ''[gasps]''
:'''Swift Wind''': Yeah, yeah, I can speak my mind now, pretty crazy--SO, I was thinking--
:'''Bow''': He's a talking hoOoOoOrse!
:'''Swift Wind''': As we've established. Now--
:'''Glimmer''': He has wings!
:'''Swift Wind''': Okay, I'll give you a moment to freak out, and then we need to talk.
''[Glimmer and Bow both gasping]''
:'''Swift Wind''': ''[blusters]'' --Great! I think Adora needs our help. Since Adora transformed me, I've been able to feel where she is at all times. It's like instinct. But now I feel a pull, as if I'm being summoned to her side. ''[Bow touches Swift Wind's wing and gasps ecstatically]'' As part of Adora's herd, I need your help. Will you come?
''[Glimmer glitches, then hums resolutely]''
:'''Glimmer''': Of course. Lead the way.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Light Hope''': ''[Distorted, pitch shifting randomly]'' The Horde is hurting us. Balance Etheria.
:'''Adora''': ''[desperately, panicking]'' Light Hope? Light Hope, come back! I don't--I don't know what to do.
:'''Swift Wind''': ''[disembodied, hauntingly]'' Adoraa...''[normally]'' Adora!
:'''Adora''': Our horse?
:'''Swift Wind''': Once again, I'm no one's horse. I'm Swift Wind.
:'''Adora''': ''[shocked]'' You can talk?
:'''Swift Wind''': Yes, I can talk.
:'''Adora''': ''[still shocked]'' You can ''talk''?
:'''Swift Wind''': I can see now why you're friends with Bow and Glimmer. They need your help, which is why I'm here. So.... which way's the exit?
:'''Adora''': I don't know. Light Hope disappeared and I-I don't know if I should go back.
:'''Swift Wind''': What do you mean?
:'''Adora''': Light Hope said if I leave here, I'll make things worse. She's right. Everyone will be better off if I just stay far away from them. It's-It's for the greater good.
:'''Swift Wind''': ''[deadpans]'' Well, that's just stupid.
:'''Adora''': ''[incredulous]'' What? No, it's not.
:'''Swift Wind''': Adora, I've had the ability to form complex thought for like...a week, and even I know you can't help anyone by hiding. Where would all the horses I freed from their barns be if I just sat in a pasture and moped?
:'''Adora''': ''[scoffing]'' I am not moping... ''[Swift Wind blusters]'' I'm not! I hurt people, I ruined my friends' lives!
:'''Swift Wind''': If that's true, then why are Bow and Glimmer here trying to rescue you? ''[Hologram of Bow and Glimmer fighting off the spiders and holding Adora in reality]'' Bow and Glimmer are risking their lives. Not because you're She-Ra, but because you're their friend. What good is all your power if you don't use it to help the people that you love?
:'''Adora''': ...I'm not Mara. I'm not the She-Ras of the past. I didn't do this to fulfill some destiny. I became She-Ra to help others. My attachments, my friends, are a part of who I am.
:'''Swift Wind''': So. Are you staying? Or going?
:'''Adora''': Let's go.

===&quot;The Battle of Bright Moon&quot;===
:'''Angella''': Go on. Go get them.
''[Glimmer then teleports away, whilst Queen Angella cultivates the Stone.]''
:'''Glimmer''': YES!
:'''Bow''': Ha Ha, Glimmer! You're sparkling again!
:'''Glimmer''': Yeah! What I miss?
:'''Adora''': The Princesses are united! This is how it's supposed to be.
:'''Mermista''': What do you say? Ready to finish this?
:'''Perfuma''': ''[laughs]'' Thought you'd never ask.
:'''Netossa''': We're in.
:'''Frosta''': Let's do this already!

==Season 2==
===&quot;The Frozen Forest&quot;===
''(after Adora / She-Ra undergoes a VR training where she fights a virtual Catra)''
:'''Adora''': Did you have to make her so mean?
:'''Light Hope''': The simulation is designed for total accuracy. Is the one you call Catra not mean?
:'''Adora''': No. She is.
:'''Light Hope''': There. There. ''(Attempts to pat Adora on the head but her hand just goes through)''

===&quot;Ties That Bind&quot;===
:'''Adora''': Hey guys. You'll never guess what Swift Wind and I did today. We restored a First Ones' Watchtower so Light Hope can balance the planet, and we brought a whole field back to life and... What happened to you?
:'''Glimmer''': Oh Adora, we've got a lot to catch you up on.

===&quot;Signals&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': We'll handle this the way we always do.
:'''Adora''': Brute strength?
:'''Swift Wind''': Almost dying?
:'''Glimmer''': No. And no. By sticking together and never giving up.
:'''Bow''': Yeah! Best Friend Quad to the rescue!

===&quot;Roll With It&quot;===
:'''Scorpia''': Move those big weapony things! Flap those banners! Uh, keep doing whatever you're doing, guy I'm pointing at! Now do a different thing! And look sharp!

===&quot;White Out&quot;===
:'''Adora''': Wow, you sure are a big bug.

===&quot;Light Spinner&quot;===
''[Episode opens on Light Spinner and multiple teenagers practicing magic.]''
:'''Micah''': Woah...
:'''Light Spinner''': Impressive casting, Micah. But you allow yourself to become distracted.
:'''Kids''': Oooooooh
:'''Micah''': You can't expect me to out-cast Light Spinner; the greatest sorceress to ever walk the halls of Mystacor.
:'''Light Spinner''': I have no time for your flattery. If you're going to interrupt my lessons, you might at least apply yourself. I want focus as you cast your illusions.

===&quot;Reunion&quot;===
:'''Bow''': On one of our missions, we received a message from an unknown source. If we knew what Serenia meant, I think we could figure out the rest.
:'''Lance''': “Serenia, portal, Mara” Okay. But what are these other words?
:'''Adora''': I don't know. It's too degraded to read.
:'''George''': Wait a second. Lance, what does this pattern look like?
:'''Lance''': ''(gasps)'' Oh, I think you're right.
:'''Bow''': What is it?
:'''George''': Look at it, Bow. Really look at it. What do you see?
:'''Bow''': These aren't words at all, are they?
:'''Lance''': Oh, now you've got it. George, get the projector.
:'''George''': The world of the First Ones was different from ours. Climate, language, even the sky was different, filled with cosmic formations they called...
:'''Adora''': Stars!

==Season 3==
===&quot;The Price of Power&quot;===
:'''Castaspella''': Now for the last time, tell us what you know. ''(truth spell hums)''
:'''Shadow Weaver''': I know that when you cast a truth spell, you should make sure you've drawn it correctly. Sloppy work. Are you sure you're Micah's sister?
:'''Castaspella''': ''(growls)''
:'''Angella''': She's trying to get under our skin.
:'''Shadow Weaver''': You could spare yourself the trouble if you would just let me talk to Adora.
:'''Angella''': No, you've put that girl through enough. Now tell us the truth. Why did the Horde send you here? What are you planning?
:'''Shadow Weaver''': ''(laughs)'' You think Hordak sent me? I ''escaped'' from Hordak and paid the price for it.

===&quot;Huntara&quot;===
:'''Entrapta''': Imperfection is beautiful! At least, to me.

===&quot;Once Upon a Time in the Waste&quot;===
:'''Catra''': Shadow Weaver left me for you, all of this happened because of you.

===&quot;Moment of Truth&quot;===
:'''Adora''': You! You took me away from my family when I was a baby! You lied to me my whole life, about the Princesses, about Etheria, about who I am!
:'''Hordak''': I could not have lied to you about who you are. Because I have never known nor cared about someone as inconsequential as you.
:'''Adora''': ''(shouts)'' You should care, because I'm the one who's gonna make sure you fail!
:'''Hordak''': I will not fail. You have no power to stop me. I am opening that portal. And I am going to use your own sword to wipe out the rest of you pathetic Rebellion once and for –
''[Hordak's suit glitches, as he grunts]''
:'''Entrapta''': Oh.
:'''Hordak''': Get it to work.

===&quot;Remember&quot;===
: '''Adora''': It’s all my fault. I’ve been so afraid of becoming another Mara. Destroying the world the way she did…and now…it’s happening.
''[Adora grunts as Razz hits her with Broom]''
: '''Razz''': Destroy the world? ''[Chuckles]'' No. Mara saved the world, and so will you. But you can’t waste any more time. You need to go back to the beginning. You need to find the sword. That is the only way this will stop!
: '''Adora''': I did that, didn’t I? I went back to the Fright Zone. The portal wasn’t there!
: '''Razz''': No, that wasn’t the beginning. You need to go back to the very beginning.
: '''Adora''': I-I-I don’t understand.
: '''Razz''': That’s all right, dearie. You don’t need to understand. You just need to remember.
''[Trees crash as the portal glitching comes closer]''
: Adora: I have to remember…
: ''[Flashbacks of the Best Friend Squad]''
: '''Adora''': ''[Gasps]'' Bow and Glimmer. I need to find them!
: '''Razz''': Go on, dearie! Quickly!
''[The portal tears up the forest and Razz walks into it. Meanwhile, Catra groans as she climbs out of the abyss and walks on.]''

===&quot;The Portal&quot;===
:'''Queen Angella''': ''(last words)'' Take care of each other.
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Horde Prime''': ''(receiving Hordak's signal)'' So that's where you've been, little brother.

==Season 4==
===&quot;The Coronation&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': It's time for us to take back our home. Together we will push out the Horde, once and for all!

===&quot;The Valley of the Lost&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': ''[looks around as seaweed falls off her]'' Hey, you didn't save any bad guys for me! I made it here as soon as I could, I only got a little lost… in the ocean. ''[picks a piece of seaweed off herself]'' Aw. You should've waited for me.
:'''Adora''': ''[apologetically]'' Sorry… but we did get the ship! Your first mission as queen is a success!
:'''Glimmer''': ''[smiles]'' Hm.

===&quot;Flutterina&quot;===
''(episode opens having a dream)''
:'''Catra''': This time I am going to win! I don't care what it takes, We are opening that portal. Now!
:'''Entrapta''' (Dream): No! I won't, I need to tell Hordak; he'll understand! ''[shouting]''
:'''Catra''': Get her out of here!
:'''Entrapta''' (Dream): What did you do to me?
:'''Adora''' (Dream): Why did you do it?
''[Catra awakens from her dream gasping, shouting, then panting; Emily starts beeping]''
:'''Catra''': ''[shouts]'' Stay away from me!

===&quot;Pulse&quot;===
:'''Glimmer''': You've been growing magic plants this whole time?! What do these do?
:'''Shadow Weaver''': Those are daises, I find them cheerful.

===&quot;Protocol&quot;===
''(Light Hope is reviewing a memory of herself with Mara)''
:'''Past Light Hope''': Pretty. Yes. They are aesthetically pleasing. Thank you for bringing them.
:'''Mara''': I thought they might liven the place up. It must be hard being stuck in here all the time.
:'''Past Light Hope''': I do not mind. Not when you come to visit me.
:'''Mara''': ''[laughing]''
:'''Light Hope''': This memory should have been purged per directive of the Heart of Etheria Project. Permantly delete.

===&quot;Princess Scorpia&quot;===
:'''Scorpia''': This guy...this is my granddad, the King. He was the greatest. I mean, that's what the Horde told me, anyway. I don't remember him, I was too young.

===&quot;Mer-Mysteries&quot;===
''[Inside the castle; fire crackles in the hearth as all the princesses, Bow, and Flutterina sit around a table; Glimmer stands in front of the fire]''
:'''Glimmer''': I called you all here to discuss what happened today. The mission to retake Dryl was a complete disaster. We barely made it out. ''[angrily]'' I wanna know why.
:'''Bow''': The Horde knew we were coming, they were ready for us. How do they keep doing this? We thought they were tracking Adora, but she wasn't even there today!
:'''Mermista''': Isn't it obvious? ''[slams hands down on table]'' There's a Horde spy somewhere in Bright Moon. ''[lightning crashes]'' ...And no one is going anywhere until we figure out who it is. ''[lightning crashes]''

===&quot;Boys' Night Out&quot;===
:'''Mermista''': ''(deadpan)'' Oh, look. More ice cream. 'Cause I'm the princess of ice cream now.

===&quot;Hero&quot;===
:'''Razz''': Oh, Mara ''[rubbing a gash presumably made by the sword in a tree]'' ...You were never supposed to succeed. ''[with tears in her eyes]'' They made a plan for you... ''[almost sobbing, tears falling]'' Razz could not do anything to help. ...I am sorry.

===&quot;Fractures&quot;===
:'''Catra''': Oh, I'm sorry, are you tired? We're all tired, but we're not going to rest until we have all of Etheria under our control. Everything is finally coming together. We're winning. So, get back out there. Problem?

===&quot;Beast Island&quot;===
:'''Micah''': Nothing will stop me from getting off this island and reuniting with my family!

===&quot;Destiny, Part 1&quot;===
:'''Catra:''' ''(to Hordak)'' Big Brother is going to be so impressed.

===&quot;Destiny, Part 2&quot;===
:'''Catra''': ''(belittling Hordak)'' Why would Horde Prime care about you? You're a defect, a mistake! Haven't you noticed I'm running things around here?
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Double Trouble''': ''(taunting Catra)'' People have hurt you. ''[Double Trouble takes Shadow Weaver’s form]'' They didn’t believe in you, ''[takes Hordak’s form]'' didn’t trust you, ''[takes Adora’s form]'' didn’t need you, left you. ''[Catra falls down and Double Trouble reverts to their true form]'' But did you ever stop to think that they're not the problem? ''[takes Scorpia’s form]'' It’s you; you drive them away, Wild Cat.

==Season 5==
===&quot;Horde Prime&quot;===
:'''Adora''': ''[quickly running and leaping, spinning and crashing her staff down on a drone as they scatter; shouting]'' For Etheria! ''[the drone begins to fly away, but Adora spins her staff again and impales it, making it buzz with electricity]''
''[The two Etherian civilians sigh in relief, then cry out in fear as another drone flies toward them; an arrow pierces and knocks down the drone]''
:'''Bow''': ''[leaping in and landing next to Adora; confidently]'' Two down.
''[A third drone flies upward and away before Swift Wind kicks it with a grunt, knocking it down]''
:'''Swift Wind''': And a whole Galactic Horde to go!

===&quot;Launch&quot;===
:'''Horde Prime''': Rejoice Etheria, for Prime has come to you. Do not fear for you have given the opportunity to share in a world soon to be remade in my image. But first, you must prove yourself worthy. Your leader, your She-Ra, she would see you suffering for her sake. Cast aside this false hero and deliver her to me. Prime sees all. Prime knows all. They will not escape my judgement.

===&quot;Corridors&quot;===
:'''Catra''': So...what would you be doing if you were back on Etheria right now and not, you know, a prisoner on an alien ship?
:'''Glimmer''': I guess maybe... ''[glances down at her hands]'' Maybe I'd go teleporting all around Etheria, visiting all the other princesses in their kingdoms. If it were a really perfect day, Bow, Adora, and I would be having a sleepover. ''[chuckles lightly; reminiscent, happily]'' We'd raid Bright Moon's kitchen for cake and then we'd eat it with our hands right off the platter.
:'''Catra''': ''[quietly]'' ...We used to have those.
:'''Glimmer''': What?
:'''Catra''': ''[reminiscent, both happily and sadly]'' Sleepovers, me and Adora, when we were cadets in the Horde. ''[breathes a slight chuckle]'' We'd play tricks on Kyle, stay up all night whispering about--''[pauses and blushes]''--you know, whatever.
:'''Glimmer''': ''[turning to look at Catra, happily]'' Did Adora still thrash around all night and, like, sleep-fight? What was that about? ''[laughs]''
:'''Catra''': ''[laughs; in good humor]'' She ''always'' did that. Adora can't even relax when she's asleep.
''[Both laugh for a moment]''
:'''Glimmer''': ''[longingly]'' I miss them. ''[ruefully]'' I was so awful to them the last time we saw each other... ''[quietly, resolutely]'' I'd do ''anything'' to go back and make it right. ''[pause as Catra looks increasingly rueful herself; Glimmer's tone brightens a bit]'' ...What about you? What would you be doing if we were back on Etheria?
:'''Catra''': I'd--''[pause as Catra looks ahead with realization in her eyes]'' Uh, nothing. ''[quietly, sadly]'' There's...nothing for me on Etheria.
''[Catra gets up and walks away as Glimmer turns and looks on; Catra breathes out a small sigh]''

===&quot;Stranded&quot;===
:'''Adora''': So, let me make sure I get this right. Catra saved you from Horde Prime. Like &quot;Catra&quot; Catra? Why would she do that? It doesn't make any sense.
:'''Glimmer''': She said she wanted to do one good thing in her life. She said she was doing it for you.
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Bow''': Ready to do something that probably won't work?
:'''Glimmer''': Always.

===&quot;Save the Cat&quot;===
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
===&quot;Taking Control&quot;===
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
===&quot;The Perils of Peekablue&quot;===
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
===&quot;Shot in the Dark&quot;===
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
===&quot;An Ill Wind&quot;===
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
===&quot;Return to the Fright Zone&quot;===
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
===&quot;Failsafe&quot;===
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
===&quot;Heart, Part 1&quot;===
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
===&quot;Heart, Part 2&quot;===
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
==Shorts==
===''Swift Wind Adventures'' (2019)===
====&quot;Unicorn Warrior Training!&quot;====
''(after Swift Wind trains Plumerian warriors)''
:'''Adora''': Who's in trouble?
:'''Swift Wind''': No one! I saved the day.

====&quot;Arm Wrestling Revenge!&quot;====
:'''Purple bar patron''': ''(speaks in native language)''
:'''Mermista''': She says the boat goes to the winner, so...
''(scene shifts to the group sailing in the boat)''
:'''Swift Wind''': Another day is saved by Swift Wind. Good job crew. Let's fly!
:'''Mermista''': Woo! Go captain Swift Wind. ''(to Sea Hawk)'' You heard him, fly that boat.
:'''Sea Hawk''': Oh, so now you cheer.
:'''Swift Wind''': For the honor of Grayskull!

====&quot;A Princess Birthday Party!&quot;====
:'''Frosta''': ''(upon seeing Swift Wind, she squeals happily)'' You're letting me ride Swift Wind for my birthday? Awesome! Can we go right now?
:'''Adora''': ''(chuckles nervously; high-pitched voice)'' Sure.
''(next, She-Ra and Frosta are riding Swift Wind)''
:'''Frosta''': EeeeeEEEEEEEEEE! HA! HA! HA! OH! Woooo! ''(laughing)'' Yea! This is the best birthday, EVER!

====&quot;Grounded Glimmer Jailbreak!&quot;====
:'''Adora''': Glimmer was supposed to join our recon mission to Plumeria. She was intercepted in the throne room. It's time for operation &quot;Free Glimmer&quot;.
:'''Bow''': Where did they take her? The Fright Zone?
:'''Swift Wind''': It's worse than that. We're going to... Glimmer's bedroom.
:'''Bow''': Wait a minute, what?
:'''Adora''': Queen Angella grounded Glimmer.

====&quot;Horse Hero Transformation!&quot;====
:'''Adora''': You said, no regrets!
:'''Swift Wind''': I didn't have any then! I do now.
:'''Adora''': Well, we can't go back in time, so what's next?

===''Princess Rebel Recruitment'' (2019)===

====&quot;Bow Begins the Fight&quot;====

====&quot;Glimmer Wants YOU to Join&quot;====

====&quot;Meditation with Perfuma&quot;====

====&quot;Mermista is the Coolest&quot;====

====&quot;Entrapta Stole Bow's Tracker Pad&quot;====

====&quot;The Evil Horde is EVIL&quot;====

== Voice csst ==
*[[w:Aimee Carrero|Aimee Carrero]] as [[w:She-Ra|Adora / She-Ra]]
**LaLa Nestor as young Princess Adora
* [[w:AJ Michalka|AJ Michalka]] as [[w:Catra|Catra]]
** [[w:Juliet Donenfeld|Juliet Donenfeld]] as young Catra
* [[Karen Fukuhara]] as [[w:Glimmer (She-Ra)|Glimmer]], Princess of Bright Moon
* [[w:Marcus Scribner|Marcus Scribner]] as Bow
* [[w:Reshma Shetty|Reshma Shetty]] as Angella, Queen of Bright Moon
* [[Lorraine Toussaint]] as [[w:List of She-Ra: Princess of Power and She-Ra and the Princesses of Power characters#Shadow Weaver|Shadow Weaver]]
* Keston John as [[w:Hordak|Hordak]], Horde Prime, [[w:Grizzlor|Grizzlor]], Admiral Scurvy, Wrong Hordak, Horde Sergeant, Horde clones
* [[w:Lauren Ash|Lauren Ash]] as [[w:Scorpia (Princesses of Power)|Scorpia]], Princess of the Fright Zone
* [[w:Christine Woods|Christine Woods]] as [[w:Entrapta|Entrapta]], Princess of Dryl
* [[w:Genesis Rodriguez|Genesis Rodriguez]] as Perfuma, Princess of Plumeria
* [[w:Jordan Fisher|Jordan Fisher]] as Sea Hawk, Seneschal, and Soda Pop
* [[w:Vella Lovell|Vella Lovell]] as Mermista, Princess of Salineas
* [[w:Merit Leighton|Merit Leighton]] as Frosta, Princess of the Kingdom of Snows
* [[Sandra Oh]] as Castaspella, sorcerer of Mystacor
* [[w:Krystal Joy Brown|Krystal Joy Brown]] as Netossa, rebel princess
* [[w:ND Stevenson|ND Stevenson]] as Spinnerella, rebel princess, and Serenia
* Morla Gorrondona as Light Hope
* [[w:Grey DeLisle|Grey Griffin]] as Razz
* [[w:Adam Ray (comedian)|Adam Ray]] as [[W:Swift Wind|Swift Wind]]
* [[Geena Davis]] as Huntara
* [[w:Zehra Fazal|Zehra Fazal]] as Mara
* [[w:Chris Jai Alex|Chris Jai Alex]] as George, one of Bow's fathers
* Regi Davis as Lance, one of Bow's fathers
* [[w:Dana Davis|Dana Davis]] as Lonnie
* Antony Del Rio as Kyle
* [[Daniel Dae Kim]] as Micah, King of Bright Moon
** [[w:Taylor Gray (actor)|Taylor Gray]] as young Micah
* Jake Eberle as Norwyn and Tung Lashor
* [[Jacob Tobia]] as Double Trouble
* [[w:Amanda C. Miller|Amanda C. Miller]] as Flutterina
* [[w:Amy Landecker|Amy Landecker]] as Octavia
* Alex Blue Davis as Jewelstar
* [[w:Ashley Eckstein|Ashley Eckstein]] as Tallstar
* [[w:Melissa Fumero|Melissa Fumero]] as Starla
* [[w:John Lavelle (actor)|John Lavelle]] as Peekablue

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
* [http://www.dreamworkstv.com/she-ra/ Official website] at DreamWorksTV
* [https://www.netflix.com/title/80179762 Official website] at [[Netflix]]
* {{IMDb title|id=7745956|title=She-Ra and the Princesses of Power}}
[[Category:American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:American LGBT-related TV shows]]
[[Category:Animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]]
[[Category:LGBT-related animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Netflix shows]]
[[Category:Television series reboots]]
[[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]]
[[Category:2018 television series debuts]]
[[Category:Cancelled shows]]</text>
      <sha1>hwadlemm3zr8bajr2mqxlmbl3biajci</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Wikiquote:Vandalism in progress/Archive/16</title>
    <ns>4</ns>
    <id>287851</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943976</id>
      <parentid>3942404</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T15:10:34Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>MABot</username>
        <id>3002050</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>Bot: Archiving 1 thread from [[Wikiquote:Vandalism in progress]]</comment>
      <origin>3943976</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="194382" sha1="t1vdj8ei08hvllizouxfbkbk0yfdhqm" xml:space="preserve">

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/137.28.231.244|137.28.231.244]] ==

* {{vandal|137.28.231.244}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:Trinitrotolueno|Trinitrotolueno]] ([[User talk:Trinitrotolueno|talk]]) 21:42, 13 March 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:20, 17 March 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/66.216.210.4|66.216.210.4]] ==

* {{vandal|66.216.210.4}}
Vandalism. Repeating cross-wiki abuse and quote-less page creation after the last block. &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 02:46, 14 March 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} 2 week rangeblock —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:21, 17 March 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Smile-to-talk|Smile-to-talk]] ==

* {{vandal|Smile-to-talk}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 08:30, 14 March 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} warned. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:22, 17 March 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Signfix|Signfix]] ==

* {{vandal|Signfix}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:41, 14 March 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:22, 17 March 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Sharda24|Sharda24]] ==

* {{vandal|Sharda24}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 06:06, 17 March 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}}, reported at [[:m:]] —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:23, 17 March 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/CheaperByTheDozen|CheaperByTheDozen]] ==

* {{vandal|CheaperByTheDozen}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 08:20, 17 March 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} - blocked and offending pages deleted. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 13:20, 17 March 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/97.136.146.116|97.136.146.116]] ==

* {{vandal|97.136.146.116}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 08:53, 17 March 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} (by another user). ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 13:21, 17 March 2025 (UTC)

== New concerning 2001:8003:DCA9:E700:0:0:0:0 ==

* {{IPvandal|2001:8003:DCA9:E700:0:0:0:0/64}}
* {{IPvandal|2001:8003:DC14:0:0:0:0:0/64}}

https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Log/block&amp;page=User%3A2001%3A8003%3ADCA9%3AE700%3A0%3A0%3A0%3A0%2F64

https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Log/block&amp;page=User%3A2001%3A8003%3A3C4B%3AB600%3A0%3A0%3A0%3A0%2F64

Please semi protect the article [[Chess]] against IP editing.

There is repeated vandalism from IPs since the year 2021, see the article history. {{ping|Antandrus}} --[[User:ᘙ|ᘙ]] ([[User talk:ᘙ|talk]]) 15:01, 17 March 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:28, 18 March 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Lifecircle08|Lifecircle08]] ==

* {{vandal|Lifecircle08}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:47, 18 March 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}}, deleted and blocked. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:27, 18 March 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Mydailytechnew2|Mydailytechnew2]] ==

* {{vandal|Mydailytechnew2}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:33, 18 March 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:28, 18 March 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Shivam Seat Cover|Shivam Seat Cover]] ==

* {{vandal|Shivam Seat Cover}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 04:18, 20 March 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} - deleted and blocked. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:12, 20 March 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Shinhasarder2343|Shinhasarder2343]] ==

* {{vandal|Shinhasarder2343}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 08:33, 20 March 2025 (UTC)
: The user removed SD tag from [[MD. Shinha Sarder]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 10:01, 20 March 2025 (UTC)
::While I have deleted the page (since it had no quotes), I don't know that I would say that there was vandalism here - more a lack of understanding of the project. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:14, 20 March 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Beun1223|Beun1223]] ==

* {{vandal|Beun1223}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 21:29, 20 March 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} by {{User|Lemonaka}}. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 14:43, 21 March 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Debitstatting|Debitstatting]] ==

* {{vandal|Debitstatting}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:17, 21 March 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:14, 23 March 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/76.35.98.14|76.35.98.14]] ==

* {{vandal|76.35.98.14}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:43, 21 March 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:14, 23 March 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/12any|12any]] ==

* {{vandal|12any}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 04:39, 23 March 2025 (UTC)
: The user is repeating SD tag removal at [[ProfCanny]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 06:48, 23 March 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}}, reporting at [[:m:]] —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:14, 23 March 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Servicesell1234|Servicesell1234]] ==

* {{vandal|Servicesell1234}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 09:42, 26 March 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} globally —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:07, 26 March 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Spherulengo|Spherulengo]] ==

* {{vandal|Spherulengo}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:39, 26 March 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done}} by someone else. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:08, 26 March 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/2603:6010:D8F0:E20:DD08:13FC:43DA:F14D|2603:6010:D8F0:E20:DD08:13FC:43DA:F14D]] ==

* {{vandal|2603:6010:D8F0:E20:DD08:13FC:43DA:F14D}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 22:59, 27 March 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} one week, did cleanup of test pages with no quotes. There seems to be some coordination with a different IP, also blocked {{vandal|76.35.98.14}} [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 00:23, 28 March 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/2603:9000:DE00:84A3:FCA9:D662:175F:D38D|2603:9000:DE00:84A3:FCA9:D662:175F:D38D]] ==

* {{vandal|2603:9000:DE00:84A3:FCA9:D662:175F:D38D}}
Vandalism. Check deleted contrib, created multiple pages that out of project scope. &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:Aqurs1|Aqurs1]] ([[User talk:Aqurs1|talk]]) 14:09, 28 March 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/2603:6010:D8F0:E20:B597:CD00:288C:5420|2603:6010:D8F0:E20:B597:CD00:288C:5420]] ==

* {{vandal|2603:6010:D8F0:E20:B597:CD00:288C:5420}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:07, 28 March 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done}} I blocked the /64 causing problems from a range of IP addresses. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 02:33, 29 March 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Historybell05|Historybell05]] ==

* {{vandal|Historybell05}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:48, 29 March 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} and yeeted the spam page as well. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 12:29, 29 March 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-03-31, 01:13 ==

* {{IPvandal|104.14.129.233}}

The same person who vandalized [[Beast Wars: Transformers]] is doing it again. - [[User:FilmandTVFan28|FilmandTVFan28]] ([[User talk:FilmandTVFan28|talk]]) 01:15, 31 March 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:34, 1 April 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/188.93.112.241|188.93.112.241]] ==

* {{vandal|188.93.112.241}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 22:34, 31 March 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:34, 1 April 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Asjakqiku|Asjakqiku]] ==

* {{vandal|Asjakqiku}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 22:34, 31 March 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:36, 1 April 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/202bh|202bh]] ==

* {{vandal|202bh}}
Block evasion of [[Special:Contributions/Biuc12]]. &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:34, 2 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} indef block. Same sock account making Alexander Lukison edits at en-wiki. I undid those edits but I am not an admin there. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 16:06, 2 April 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Rabbitoy|Rabbitoy]] ==

* {{vandal|Rabbitoy}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:14, 2 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 16:07, 2 April 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Ijmremodeling4|Ijmremodeling4]] ==

* {{vandal|Ijmremodeling4}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:38, 3 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} block and cleanup done by GMG. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 15:41, 6 April 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/2402:1980:8310:144:C8E:B57C:5C16:2EB8|2402:1980:8310:144:C8E:B57C:5C16:2EB8]] ==

* {{vandal|2402:1980:8310:144:C8E:B57C:5C16:2EB8}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:44, 6 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 15:42, 6 April 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Khusha digital|Khusha digital]] ==

* {{vandal|Khusha digital}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:36, 8 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} Globally locked tho not by me. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 17:18, 8 April 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/75.205.237.149|75.205.237.149]] ==

* {{vandal|75.205.237.149}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:48, 8 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} I also recently blocked a different IP from California for adding the same &quot;balls&quot; quote to my talk page. Mysterious how some people choose to find fun. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 17:17, 8 April 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/2600:1011:A03E:B73B:E519:E650:F78F:5FC0|2600:1011:A03E:B73B:E519:E650:F78F:5FC0]] ==

* {{vandal|2600:1011:A03E:B73B:E519:E650:F78F:5FC0}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:BlackShadoww|BlackShadoww]] ([[User talk:BlackShadoww|talk]]) 22:18, 8 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} blocked 1 week for vandalism. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 22:37, 8 April 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/2601:1C2:81:AB70:3C0B:4FE3:6164:EDE|2601:1C2:81:AB70:3C0B:4FE3:6164:EDE]] ==

* {{vandal|2601:1C2:81:AB70:3C0B:4FE3:6164:EDE}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 02:48, 9 April 2025 (UTC)

: {{done}} I blocked the IP and deleted the pages. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 12:49, 9 April 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Would build|Would build]] ==

* {{vandal|Would build}}
LTA, [[:m:User:علاء/case2#Mohamed_AlAgha]] &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:46, 10 April 2025 (UTC)

:Indeed I created the pages because they have citations on [[Google]] Please [[search]] for each [[Names|name]] that I created a page for You will find that what I said is correct and [[identical]] As for Alaa I have no background or [[knowledge]] of him This is the first time I have heard of him What are all the names mentioned? I only have one name. [[User:Would build|Would build]] ([[User talk:Would build|talk]]) 10:00, 11 April 2025 (UTC)
::Blocked, clearly the same evasive tactics used by previous LTA accounts promoting Mohamed AlAgha. And the rest of the articles created probably require cleanup as well. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 11:29, 11 April 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Shernukh Despicable|Shernukh Despicable]] ==

* {{vandal|Shernukh Despicable}}
LTA, [[:m:User:علاء/case2#Mohamed_AlAgha]] &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:46, 10 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} clearly same LTA [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 11:30, 11 April 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Engineer Zak|Engineer Zak]] ==

* {{vandal|Engineer Zak}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:43, 12 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} 18:18, 13 April 2025 (UTC) [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 18:18, 13 April 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! 2|SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! 2]] ==

* {{vandal|SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! 2}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:USSR-Slav|USSR-Slav]] ([[User talk:USSR-Slav|talk]]) 08:08, 13 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 18:15, 13 April 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Imagepro2|Imagepro2]] ==

* {{vandal|Imagepro2}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:09, 13 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 18:15, 13 April 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-04-18, 13:49 ==

* {{IPvandal|76.122.3.178}}

Repeated vandalism. [[User:Svartava|Svartava]] ([[User talk:Svartava|talk]]) 13:50, 18 April 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} - blocked. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 14:49, 18 April 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/2600:100E:A120:2B52:D5FD:AE03:90C9:A381|2600:100E:A120:2B52:D5FD:AE03:90C9:A381]] ==

* {{vandal|2600:100E:A120:2B52:D5FD:AE03:90C9:A381}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 02:27, 14 April 2025 (UTC)

:Globally blocked tho not by me [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 19:11, 19 April 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/TarzanBoyFan|TarzanBoyFan]] ==

* {{vandal|TarzanBoyFan}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 02:48, 14 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}}, also globally blocked. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 19:10, 19 April 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Jankhan1114|Jankhan1114]] ==

* {{vandal|Jankhan1114}}
Adding spam links &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:Ternera|Ternera]] ([[User talk:Ternera|talk]]) 02:35, 16 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 19:09, 19 April 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Corteiz0102|Corteiz0102]] ==

* {{vandal|Corteiz0102}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:36, 17 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 19:08, 19 April 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Crystalwebster|Crystalwebster]] ==

* {{vandal|Crystalwebster}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:02, 18 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} tho not by me. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 19:12, 19 April 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Intellectualpropertyorg|Intellectualpropertyorg]] ==

* {{vandal|Intellectualpropertyorg}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 09:06, 19 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 19:06, 19 April 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Reversi the great|Reversi the great]] ==

* {{vandal|Reversi the great}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:Ternera|Ternera]] ([[User talk:Ternera|talk]]) 22:09, 19 April 2025 (UTC)
: Handled globally. &lt;span style=&quot;display:inline-block;text-align:center;vertical-align:bottom;line-height:0.5em;&quot;&gt;~~&lt;nowiki/&gt;~~&lt;br/&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size:0.7em;&quot;&gt;[[User:1234qwer1234qwer4]] ([[User talk:1234qwer1234qwer4|talk]])&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt; 22:14, 19 April 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Myriamphoto|Myriamphoto]] ==

* {{vandal|Myriamphoto}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:44, 20 April 2025 (UTC)

:???? [[User:Myriamphoto|Myriamphoto]] ([[User talk:Myriamphoto|talk]]) 12:04, 20 April 2025 (UTC)
::{{done}} warned. Please do not post spam here. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:17, 20 April 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/222.127.93.32|222.127.93.32]] ==

* {{vandal|222.127.93.32}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:27, 20 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:17, 20 April 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/192.36.155.238|192.36.155.238]] ==

* {{vandal|192.36.155.238}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 14:23, 21 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else deleting the contribs. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:47, 21 April 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Arbitrary Reversi Star|Arbitrary Reversi Star]] ==

* {{vandal|Arbitrary Reversi Star}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 03:02, 22 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:06, 22 April 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Lucku89202|Lucku89202]] ==

* {{vandal|Lucku89202}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 07:49, 22 April 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} - blocked. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:12, 22 April 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Farshidn28|Farshidn28]] ==

* {{vandal|Farshidn28}}
Spamming &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:Hide on Rosé|Hide on Rosé]] ([[User talk:Hide on Rosé|talk]]) 09:14, 22 April 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} - blocked. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:14, 22 April 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/2600:100C:B023:EBE3:11D8:289D:78C1:B8A2|2600:100C:B023:EBE3:11D8:289D:78C1:B8A2]] ==

* {{vandal|2600:100C:B023:EBE3:11D8:289D:78C1:B8A2}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:Sakura emad|Sakura emad]] ([[User talk:Sakura emad|talk]]) 15:07, 22 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} blocked [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 15:49, 22 April 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Supportsofttech|Supportsofttech]] ==

* {{vandal|Supportsofttech}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:19, 23 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} - blocked. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:20, 23 April 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/41.114.96.59|41.114.96.59]] ==

* {{vandal|41.114.96.59}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 22:59, 23 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 13:08, 25 April 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/ElseworthJohn|ElseworthJohn]] ==

* {{vandal|ElseworthJohn}}
Possible link spam, please see [https://spamcheck.toolforge.org/by-domain?q=uklaw.co.uk] &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:47, 25 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} blocked for making clearly inappropriate external link, inserted as first and only edit. NOTHERE. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 13:08, 25 April 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/2601:1C2:81:AB70:902:5DA0:6EAF:984C|2601:1C2:81:AB70:902:5DA0:6EAF:984C]] ==

* {{vandal|2601:1C2:81:AB70:902:5DA0:6EAF:984C}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 22:58, 23 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}}, all deleted. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:08, 29 April 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/R3F6O7|R3F6O7]] ==

* {{vandal|R3F6O7}}
Vandalism. Lazy to tag every page for speedy deletion, please nuke them thanks. &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:Aqurs1|Aqurs1]] ([[User talk:Aqurs1|talk]]) 09:25, 28 April 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} pages deleted and user blocked. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:34, 28 April 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/2600:1700:FF00:46A0:0:0:0:0/64|2600:1700:FF00:46A0:0:0:0:0/64]] ==

* {{vandal|2600:1700:FF00:46A0:0:0:0:0/64}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:FlyingAce|FlyingAce]] ([[User talk:FlyingAce|talk]]) 10:24, 28 April 2025 (UTC)
: {{done}} reverted and blocked. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:35, 28 April 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/2600:1700:FF00:46A0:3092:9C27:C936:36F8|2600:1700:FF00:46A0:3092:9C27:C936:36F8]] ==

* {{vandal|2600:1700:FF00:46A0:3092:9C27:C936:36F8}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:Langusto|Langusto]] ([[User talk:Langusto|talk]]) 10:43, 28 April 2025 (UTC)
: {{done}} - repeat of above notice. Reverted and blocked. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:36, 28 April 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/2603:8001:8701:8E03:D039:8DCF:2DFB:52AD|2603:8001:8701:8E03:D039:8DCF:2DFB:52AD]] ==

* {{vandal|2603:8001:8701:8E03:D039:8DCF:2DFB:52AD}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 02:00, 29 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:07, 29 April 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/2601:1C2:81:AB70:3CCE:ED47:113C:CCBD|2601:1C2:81:AB70:3CCE:ED47:113C:CCBD]] ==

* {{vandal|2601:1C2:81:AB70:3CCE:ED47:113C:CCBD}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 03:07, 29 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:48, 29 April 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Cblmhospitalfh|Cblmhospitalfh]] ==

* {{vandal|Cblmhospitalfh}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 07:17, 29 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} blocked tho not by me. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 18:40, 5 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/TheDigitalFlix|TheDigitalFlix]] ==

* {{vandal|TheDigitalFlix}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 09:10, 29 April 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} blocked tho not by me. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 18:40, 5 May 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-05-5, 21:54 ==

* {{IPvandal|2600:1700:FF00:2770:1934:788B:F4F2:3515}}
* {{IPvandal|2600:1700:FF00:2770:3093:B811:1F8:7D7B}}

Vandalism. [[User:ᘙ|ᘙ]] ([[User talk:ᘙ|talk]]) 21:56, 5 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} I blocked the 64, since this seems to be the same vandal using a variable IP. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 00:26, 6 May 2025 (UTC)

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/2600:1700:FF00:2770:1934:788B:F4F2:3515

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/2600:1700:FF00:2770:3093:B811:1F8:7D7B
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Adebayo Olamilekanl|Adebayo Olamilekanl]] ==

* {{vandal|Adebayo Olamilekanl}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:50, 5 May 2025 (UTC)

:The only spam (userpage) was already deleted. I left message on talk page explaining the problem and no further edits have been made. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 21:46, 6 May 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/CommonsBuilder|CommonsBuilder]] ==

* {{vandal|CommonsBuilder}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:41, 6 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} tho not by me. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 13:28, 7 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Paintingdrive|Paintingdrive]] ==

* {{vandal|Paintingdrive}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 06:56, 7 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 13:27, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/OceanAteAlaska|OceanAteAlaska]] ==

* {{vandal|OceanAteAlaska}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 02:16, 9 May 2025 (UTC)

:Globally Blocked [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 05:35, 9 May 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Bhushan1999|Bhushan1999]] ==

* {{vandal|Bhushan1999}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 10:49, 9 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 10:50, 9 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Cashappzone|Cashappzone]] ==

* {{vandal|Cashappzone}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:17, 9 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}}, reported at [[:m:]] —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:19, 9 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Ramodstyree|Ramodstyree]] ==

* {{vandal|Ramodstyree}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:53, 9 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:04, 10 May 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/2401:4900:73F0:A3F3:89CB:E90A:6590:89D|2401:4900:73F0:A3F3:89CB:E90A:6590:89D]] ==

* {{vandal|2401:4900:73F0:A3F3:89CB:E90A:6590:89D}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:ᘙ|ᘙ]] ([[User talk:ᘙ|talk]]) 09:54, 10 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:35, 10 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/2600:387:1:803:0:0:0:5C|2600:387:1:803:0:0:0:5C]] ==

* {{vandal|2600:387:1:803:0:0:0:5C}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:Langusto|Langusto]] ([[User talk:Langusto|talk]]) 18:52, 10 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 21:23, 10 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/JohnJoan&amp;Johnny|JohnJoan&amp;Johnny]] ==

* {{vandal|JohnJoan&amp;Johnny}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:Sakura emad|Sakura emad]] ([[User talk:Sakura emad|talk]]) 20:42, 10 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 21:23, 10 May 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Sydneyuk|Sydneyuk]] ==

* {{vandal|2400:ADC5:169:0:0:0:0:0/48}}

also

* {{vandal|Sydneyuk}}
This looks like someone spamming Akhtar Aly Kureshy by several IPs and by the account Sydneyuk

This account is blocked

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/Sydneyuk

Akhtar Aly Kureshy was deleted here multiple times:

https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Akhtar_Aly_Kureshy&amp;action=edit&amp;redlink=1

Might need cleanup
&lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:ᘙ|ᘙ]] ([[User talk:ᘙ|talk]]) 22:01, 11 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Sellsinusa8|Sellsinusa8]] ==

* {{vandal|Sellsinusa8}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 22:04, 11 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:05, 11 May 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/66.216.210.4|66.216.210.4]] ==

* {{vandal|66.216.210.4}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:13, 11 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:16, 12 May 2025 (UTC)
::This is the fourth time I blocked this IP. Earlier blocks were for spam but this one is straight vandalism. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 16:47, 12 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Jhonsmith45|Jhonsmith45]] ==

* {{vandal|Jhonsmith45}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:15, 12 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 16:45, 12 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/75.146.215.29|75.146.215.29]] ==

* {{vandal|75.146.215.29}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 15:41, 12 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 16:44, 12 May 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Shelbertaim|Shelbertaim]] ==

* {{vandal|Shelbertaim}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 01:44, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} - blocked and content deleted. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:00, 13 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/2001:8003:DC14:0:0:0:0:0/48]] ==

* White supremacist, antisemite, long-term problem; probable ban evasion ([[User:TVEBOR]]) - adding swastikas, racist propaganda, replacing pictures of Black people with white, removing quotes by Jews, etc. etc. A lot of his vandalism and POV-pushing is sneaky and obfuscated (often you need to scroll down in a diff.) This /48 probably best captures his current IPv6 range. Will make a noticeboard post if necessary. Tonight's IP is [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/2001:8003:DC14:0:FDB3:2B29:9325:256]. Thank you - [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 02:23, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} - blocked. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:39, 13 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/James dayeeb|James dayeeb]] ==

* {{vandal|James dayeeb}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 06:19, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} - deleted and blocked. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:35, 13 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Xover's Son|Xover's Son]] ==

* {{vandal|Xover's Son}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 09:03, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} - blocked and deleted. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:38, 13 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Nicalismedicine|Nicalismedicine]] ==

* {{vandal|Nicalismedicine}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 09:28, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} - blocked and deleted. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:38, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Webpivots|Webpivots]] ==

* {{vandal|Webpivots}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:00, 14 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 12:12, 14 May 2025 (UTC)
::Reported at [[:m:]] —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 12:15, 14 May 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Wazih Perfume &amp; Fragness|Wazih Perfume &amp; Fragness]] ==

* {{vandal|Wazih Perfume &amp; Fragness}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:37, 15 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 11:44, 16 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/46.188.164.176|46.188.164.176]] ==

* {{vandal|46.188.164.176}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:Sakura emad|Sakura emad]] ([[User talk:Sakura emad|talk]]) 17:35, 15 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 11:45, 16 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Aidentaylors|Aidentaylors]] ==

* {{vandal|Aidentaylors}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:15, 16 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 13:23, 16 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Maraadamb3|Maraadamb3]] ==

* {{vandal|Maraadamb3}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:30, 16 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 13:37, 16 May 2025 (UTC)
::Reported at [[:m:]]. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 13:38, 16 May 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Loftyus|Loftyus]] ==

* {{vandal|Loftyus}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 02:24, 19 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done}} globally. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:52, 20 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Besturdu|Besturdu]] ==

* {{vandal|Besturdu}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 02:33, 19 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:53, 20 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/2603:8001:8701:8E03:761C:3F36:F21F:FAD0|2603:8001:8701:8E03:761C:3F36:F21F:FAD0]] ==

* {{vandal|2603:8001:8701:8E03:761C:3F36:F21F:FAD0}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 03:30, 19 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:53, 20 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/29912 Hello|29912 Hello]] ==

* {{vandal|29912 Hello}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:08, 19 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} globally. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:53, 20 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Gsfdswghhgf29912|Gsfdswghhgf29912]] ==

* {{vandal|Gsfdswghhgf29912}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:13, 19 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:54, 20 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/175.107.216.70|175.107.216.70]] ==

* {{vandal|175.107.216.70}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:34, 19 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:54, 20 May 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/321SPONGEBOLT, Josiahblaze0|321SPONGEBOLT, Josiahblaze0]] ==

* {{vandal|321SPONGEBOLT, Josiahblaze0}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:04, 20 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 01:26, 21 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Albertt711|Albertt711]] ==

* {{vandal|Albertt711}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:07, 20 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 01:22, 21 May 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-05-20, 17:17 ==

* {{Vandal|Rgato1536}}

Only creation of nonsense pages [[User:Samuele2002|Samuele2002]] ([[User talk:Samuele2002|talk]]) 17:18, 20 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 01:20, 21 May 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Tomburke612|Tomburke612]] ==

* {{vandal|Tomburke612}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:42, 22 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:35, 24 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning block-evading white supremacist/antisemite ==

* Multiple IPs, one static, and others highly dynamic:
:(The original, currently blocked, was https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/2001:8003:DC14:0:0:0:0:0/48)
:{{Vandal|2001:8004:52E0:44E5:5C70:DA73:B43C:117E}} (current as of this report)
:{{Vandal|203.54.155.190}} (static)
:{{Vandal|2001:8004:6BA0:F08F:C9B6:1A4:F8D9:F9E7}}
:{{Vandal|2001:8004:52E1:6E1F:78B5:F277:5954:3616}}
Comment - This person is persistent and returns with a differnet IPv6 every time. His POV-pushing is often sneaky and obfuscated; he adds swastikas, anti-vax propaganda, outright racist garbage on pages where it doesn't belong, etc. Often you have to scroll down in a diff, and go to the source of an image, to see what he is doing. I will make a noticeboard post if necessary. This has been going on at least since 2019. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 01:06, 23 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:01, 25 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/96.35.74.197|96.35.74.197]] ==

* {{vandal|96.35.74.197}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:02, 24 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:01, 25 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/TamHamGhor|TamHamGhor]] ==

* {{vandal|TamHamGhor}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:02, 24 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:01, 25 May 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-05-24, 21:37 ==

* {{IPvandal|75.127.152.34}}
* {{IPvandal|68.193.160.90}}

These Fourlaxers sockpuppets consistently remove content from [[Shining Time Station]] without explanation. They were given warnings, but they refuse to comply. They must be blocked indefinitely, and it is recommended the page be protected indefinitely. It is the only way they are going to stop. [[Special:Contributions/100.8.243.246|100.8.243.246]] 22:33, 24 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by protecting, no blocks. Anyone else can block if deemed fit. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:03, 25 May 2025 (UTC)
::That will do, but if the sockpuppet(s) persist after the protection expires, or if a sockpuppet account should happen to make those same edits, they must be indefinitely blocked on sight. [[Special:Contributions/100.8.243.246|100.8.243.246]] 02:00, 25 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/2600:100F:A021:8696:2CFF:3709:AFAD:772B|2600:100F:A021:8696:2CFF:3709:AFAD:772B]] ==

* {{vandal|2600:100F:A021:8696:2CFF:3709:AFAD:772B}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:21, 24 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:04, 25 May 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/ChunzwBot|ChunzwBot]] ==

* {{vandal|ChunzwBot}}
Vandalism. Also violates [[WQ:Username policy]] &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --&lt;span style=&quot;color:#dbf;font:bold 100% 'Brush Script MT',cursive;padding:0 .75em 0 .5em&quot;&gt;— [[User:NaomiAmethyst|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#c8f&quot;&gt;Naomi&lt;/span&gt;]] [[User talk:NaomiAmethyst|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#93f&quot;&gt;Amethyst&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/span&gt; 06:36, 25 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} globally —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 10:00, 25 May 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/97.211.78.197|97.211.78.197]] ==

* {{vandal|97.211.78.197}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 02:27, 26 May 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} — short term block in place. &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 09:05, 26 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/2600:100F:A021:8696:7C9A:2A2E:D571:68CC|2600:100F:A021:8696:7C9A:2A2E:D571:68CC]] ==

* {{vandal|2600:100F:A021:8696:7C9A:2A2E:D571:68CC}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:JJPMaster|JJP...MASTER!]]&lt;sub&gt;[[User:JJPMaster|[talk to] JJP... master?]]&lt;/sub&gt; 03:56, 26 May 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} — short term block in place. &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 09:05, 26 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/ChanzwBot|ChanzwBot]] ==

* {{vandal|ChanzwBot}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 05:30, 26 May 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} — blocked. &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 09:05, 26 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Spyranretail70|Spyranretail70]] ==

* {{vandal|Spyranretail70}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 07:32, 26 May 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} — blocked. &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 09:05, 26 May 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/124.217.188.201|124.217.188.201]] ==

* {{vandal|124.217.188.201}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:JJPMaster|JJP...MASTER!]]&lt;sub&gt;[[User:JJPMaster|[talk to] JJP... master?]]&lt;/sub&gt; 13:05, 28 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} blocked 1 week [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 08:04, 31 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/97.210.87.237|97.210.87.237]] ==

* {{vandal|97.210.87.237}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 03:32, 29 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} tho  not by me. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 08:05, 31 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Theindiamovesjpr|Theindiamovesjpr]] ==

* {{vandal|Theindiamovesjpr}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 09:50, 29 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} globally locked tho not by me. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 08:06, 31 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Gashi Gani1944|Gashi Gani1944]] ==

* {{vandal|Gashi Gani1944}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:18, 30 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 08:10, 31 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Donald Trump is the worst president|Donald Trump is the worst president]] ==

* {{vandal|Donald Trump is the worst president}}
LTA Zjholder &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:Leonidlednev|Leonidlednev]] ([[User talk:Leonidlednev|talk]]) 22:16, 30 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} globally locked tho not by me. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 08:11, 31 May 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Fùč̣k Donald Trump 2024|Fùč̣k Donald Trump 2024]] ==

* {{vandal|Fùč̣k Donald Trump 2024}}
LTA Zjholder &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:Leonidlednev|Leonidlednev]] ([[User talk:Leonidlednev|talk]]) 22:24, 30 May 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} blocked tho not by me. [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 08:12, 31 May 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/2605:59C0:21D7:2410:20FA:A529:93A5:25|2605:59C0:21D7:2410:20FA:A529:93A5:25]] ==

* {{vandal|2605:59C0:21D7:2410:20FA:A529:93A5:25}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --&lt;span style=&quot;color:#dbf;font:bold 100% 'Brush Script MT',cursive;padding:0 .75em 0 .5em&quot;&gt;— [[User:NaomiAmethyst|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#c8f&quot;&gt;Naomi&lt;/span&gt;]] [[User talk:NaomiAmethyst|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#93f&quot;&gt;Amethyst&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/span&gt; 04:17, 1 June 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} [[User:HouseOfChange|HouseOfChange]] ([[User talk:HouseOfChange|talk]]) 17:06, 1 June 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/64.31.104.150|64.31.104.150]] ==

* {{vandal|64.31.104.150}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:ᘙ|ᘙ]] ([[User talk:ᘙ|talk]]) 20:05, 1 June 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 02:43, 2 June 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Astrologersneha|Astrologersneha]] ==

* {{vandal|Astrologersneha}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:48, 2 June 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 13:50, 2 June 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/MIarch11|MIarch11]] ==

* {{Vandal|MIarch11}}

Clearly only here to vandalize and not to build. [[User:03isrflo62410|03isrflo62410]] ([[User talk:03isrflo62410|talk]]) 21:31, 2 June 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} globally —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:02, 3 June 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/SiddhnathPune|SiddhnathPune]] ==

* {{vandal|SiddhnathPune}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:28, 3 June 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:06, 3 June 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Luccy Wilson|Luccy Wilson]] ==

* {{vandal|Luccy Wilson}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:36, 3 June 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:07, 3 June 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/71.195.107.170|71.195.107.170]] ==

* {{vandal|71.195.107.170}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 22:35, 4 June 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:26, 10 June 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/2603:3006:1801:C800:C0D5:B48D:3B9B:C33F|2603:3006:1801:C800:C0D5:B48D:3B9B:C33F]] ==

* {{vandal|2603:3006:1801:C800:C0D5:B48D:3B9B:C33F}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:00, 4 June 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:26, 10 June 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Kojo seven|Kojo seven]] ==

* {{vandal|Kojo seven}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 01:48, 10 June 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}}, I hope a warning is enough. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:27, 10 June 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Samdiago1234|Samdiago1234]] ==

* {{vandal|Samdiago1234}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:30, 10 June 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:04, 10 June 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/ItzTheKnight16|ItzTheKnight16]] ==

* {{vandal|ItzTheKnight16}}
[[:w:WP:NOTWEBHOST]], removed CSD tag by IP. &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:02, 10 June 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:07, 10 June 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/2804:D51:447F:6600:496B:3ED2:F1C2:549A|2804:D51:447F:6600:496B:3ED2:F1C2:549A]] ==

* {{vandal|2804:D51:447F:6600:496B:3ED2:F1C2:549A}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:Leonidlednev|Leonidlednev]] ([[User talk:Leonidlednev|talk]]) 16:15, 11 June 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} - blocked. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 16:34, 11 June 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/गुंडा|गुंडा]] ==

* {{vandal|गुंडा}}
Recreated [[Abdelnaser Abdelfatah]], please see [[Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard/Archive/040#Return_of_Abdel_Nasser_Abdel_Fattah_Mohamed_(ANAFM)]]. &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:08, 11 June 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/66.216.210.4|66.216.210.4]] ==

* {{vandal|66.216.210.4}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:28, 11 June 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} - blocked and pages deleted. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 11:54, 12 June 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/GMK7|GMK7]] ==

* {{vandal|GMK7}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:03, 14 June 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/96.35.74.197|96.35.74.197]] ==

* {{vandal|96.35.74.197}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:41, 14 June 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/50.226.140.190|50.226.140.190]] ==

* {{vandal|50.226.140.190}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:20, 15 June 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/182.178.120.110|182.178.120.110]] ==

* {{vandal|182.178.120.110}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:22, 15 June 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-06-15, 20:41 ==

* {{IPvandal|50.226.140.190}}

Creating many bad pages. [[User:Zaxxon0|Zaxxon0]] ([[User talk:Zaxxon0|talk]]) 20:41, 15 June 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/208.40.86.22|208.40.86.22]] ==

* {{vandal|208.40.86.22}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 22:52, 16 June 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/GrowwMax InfoTech Pvt. Ltd India|GrowwMax InfoTech Pvt. Ltd India]] ==

* {{vandal|GrowwMax InfoTech Pvt. Ltd India}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 09:14, 16 June 2025 (UTC)
: already blocked. -[[user:Lemonaka|‎&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue; text-shadow:jet 0 0.2em 0.2em; font-family:Segoe Print; font-size: 13px&quot;&gt;'''Lemonaka'''‎&lt;/span&gt;]] 12:20, 17 June 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Aarti5678|Aarti5678]] ==

* {{vandal|Aarti5678}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:14, 17 June 2025 (UTC)
: Blocked. -[[user:Lemonaka|‎&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue; text-shadow:jet 0 0.2em 0.2em; font-family:Segoe Print; font-size: 13px&quot;&gt;'''Lemonaka'''‎&lt;/span&gt;]] 12:20, 17 June 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Anchaldigital|Anchaldigital]] ==

* {{vandal|Anchaldigital}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:09, 18 June 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else, reported to [[:m:]]. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:13, 18 June 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Opinnate|Opinnate]] ==

* {{vandal|Opinnate}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:29, 18 June 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 14:13, 18 June 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-06-19, 06:27 ==

* {{Vandal|Cuumora}}
Vandalism-only account. [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 06:28, 19 June 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done}} by someone else. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 06:35, 19 June 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/2409:4089:AB3D:32AC:0:0:5F4A:F313|2409:4089:AB3D:32AC:0:0:5F4A:F313]] ==

* {{vandal|2409:4089:AB3D:32AC:0:0:5F4A:F313}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 06:56, 19 June 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:28, 19 June 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/173.207.58.96|173.207.58.96]] ==

* {{vandal|173.207.58.96}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 06:56, 19 June 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:28, 19 June 2025 (UTC)

== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Dandeleon14|Dandeleon14]] ==

* {{vandal|Dandeleon14}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 08:25, 19 June 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 08:29, 19 June 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Nanhost049|Nanhost049]] ==

* {{vandal|Nanhost049}}
Spam &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 05:17, 22 June 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 05:48, 22 June 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/35.39.105.217|35.39.105.217]] ==

* {{vandal|35.39.105.217}}
Vandalism &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 05:19, 22 June 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 05:48, 22 June 2025 (UTC)
== Report concerning [[Special:Contributions/Super Mario Bros kart on Wekequote|Super Mario Bros kart on Wekequote]] ==

* {{vandal|Super Mario Bros kart on Wekequote}}
Vandalism. [[Special:Contributions/35.39.105.217]] &lt;small&gt;[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/User:TenWhile6/XReport|XReport]]&lt;/small&gt; --[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 05:19, 22 June 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 05:48, 22 June 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-06-24, 22:24 ==

* {{IPvandal|173.207.58.96}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:16, 24 June 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:31, 24 June 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-06-26, 02:06 ==

* {{IPvandal|103.95.39.28}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 02:56, 26 June 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 04:04, 26 June 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-06-26, 11:11 ==

* {{Vandal|SEObacklink963622}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:59, 26 June 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done}} globally —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:20, 30 June 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-06-28, 23:22 ==

* {{Vandal|Jewelrugs1}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:23, 28 June 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:22, 30 June 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-06-28, 23:23 ==

* {{IPvandal|2603:8001:8701:8E03:F583:37AF:5885:8129}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:24, 28 June 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:24, 30 June 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-06-30, 04:28 ==

* {{Vandal|GMK7}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 04:29, 30 June 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}}, reporting at [[:m:]] —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:26, 30 June 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-06-30, 05:38 ==

* {{Vandal|Cineyadsd}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 05:41, 30 June 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} reported at [[:m:]] —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:44, 30 June 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-06-30, 09:32 ==

* {{Vandal|Axcessrent}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 09:41, 30 June 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} — blocked locally by {{user|UDScott}}, and blocked globally also. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:14, 30 June 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-06-30, 22:39 ==

* {{Vandal|CloudRafanan}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 22:51, 30 June 2025 (UTC)
: Posted warning to talk page. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:14, 30 June 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-06-30, 22:52 ==

* {{IPvandal|2600:387:C:7210:0:0:0:2}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 22:54, 30 June 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} — blocked IP for 2 weeks. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:14, 30 June 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-07-1, 22:27 ==

* {{Vandal|Akande1234}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 22:51, 1 July 2025 (UTC)
: Globally blocked by vermont. -[[user:Lemonaka|‎&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue; text-shadow:jet 0 0.2em 0.2em; font-family:Segoe Print; font-size: 13px&quot;&gt;'''Lemonaka'''‎&lt;/span&gt;]] 03:59, 3 July 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-07-2, 12:06 ==

* {{Vandal|Jannelk247}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:21, 2 July 2025 (UTC)
: {{done}} indef blocked -[[user:Lemonaka|‎&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue; text-shadow:jet 0 0.2em 0.2em; font-family:Segoe Print; font-size: 13px&quot;&gt;'''Lemonaka'''‎&lt;/span&gt;]] 04:00, 3 July 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-07-3, 00:06 ==

* {{IPvandal|2600:1700:5AED:1000:92E:CD90:2DF5:D4C1}}

It's the same vandal who once again vandalized [[The Father (2020 film)]], [[News of the World]], and [[Loonatics Unleashed]]. I don't want to risk edit warring. - [[User:FilmandTVFan28|FilmandTVFan28]] ([[User talk:FilmandTVFan28|talk]]) 00:38, 3 July 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:42, 7 July 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-07-5, 04:17 ==

* {{Vandal|Traveliciousbites}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 04:18, 5 July 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:46, 7 July 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-07-5, 06:54 ==

* {{Vandal|Marian122298}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 07:25, 5 July 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} globally —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:47, 7 July 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-07-7, 12:08 ==

* {{Vandal|AAS Direct HQ}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:09, 7 July 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} reporting to [[:m:]] —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:47, 7 July 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-07-8, 11:31 ==

* {{Vandal|Provent-compliance}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:54, 8 July 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 12:11, 8 July 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-07-9, 12:27 ==

* {{Vandal|Walidfalcon}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:27, 9 July 2025 (UTC)
: Blocked. -[[user:Lemonaka|‎&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue; text-shadow:jet 0 0.2em 0.2em; font-family:Segoe Print; font-size: 13px&quot;&gt;'''Lemonaka'''‎&lt;/span&gt;]] 13:26, 9 July 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-07-12, 11:07 ==

* {{Vandal|Solamalaicollege}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:58, 12 July 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} — blocked and deleted. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:44, 12 July 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-07-13, 21:01 ==

* {{IPvandal|71.195.107.170}}
Vandalism [[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:01, 13 July 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} — IP blocked. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:24, 13 July 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-07-13, 21:10 ==

* {{Vandal|OdysseusBoy}}

Vandalism. [[User:Pólux|Pólux]] ([[User talk:Pólux|talk]]) 21:11, 13 July 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} — blocked. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:24, 13 July 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-07-14, 07:12 ==

* {{Vandal|Digitalnik}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 07:13, 14 July 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 09:38, 14 July 2025 (UTC)
::Reported: https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Steward_requests%2FGlobal&amp;diff=28981228&amp;oldid=28981056 —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 09:39, 14 July 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-07-20, 03:20 ==

* {{Vandal|Medicusofhouston}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 03:31, 20 July 2025 (UTC)
: {{done}} blocked. -[[user:Lemonaka|‎&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue; text-shadow:jet 0 0.2em 0.2em; font-family:Segoe Print; font-size: 13px&quot;&gt;'''Lemonaka'''‎&lt;/span&gt;]] 02:16, 21 July 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-07-26, 14:05 ==

* {{Vandal|NorthernWinds}}
A short explanation for why this username should be blocked: new account that seems to be focused exclusively on Israel and Palestine (a lot of activisty on [[Zionism]] and the [[Palestine]] page). Is deleting many quotes other editors added, contacting some editors but not waiting for responses. It's been disruptive, not sure if it qualifies as vandalism or political activism or just someone who hasn't learned the process yet. [[User:A23423413|A23423413]] ([[User talk:A23423413|talk]]) 15:10, 26 July 2025 (UTC)A23423413, July 26, 2025

:Hello @[[User:A23423413|A23423413]],
:I am sorry if that is how I came across, I did not mean any wrong. You said I &quot;did not wait for a response&quot;. You are likely referring to when I pinged you [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Talk:Zionism#c-NorthernWinds-20250726121900-Notability here]. &lt;s&gt;I, in fact, did wait for a response, and did not remove your quote.&lt;/s&gt; I have removed quotes which I cannot find secondary sources for, in compliance with [[WQ:FAME]]. If there are any issues with my editing, I believe it is best to contact me and [[WQ:AGF]] before reporting, &lt;s&gt;and misleading others (&quot;not waiting for responses&quot;).&lt;/s&gt; I do not have an agenda, and if there is a &quot;process&quot; I have yet to learn about, please raise it in my talk page and I'll be more than happy to learn and contribute more in line with guidelines going forward.

:Note: upon second review of the page's history, it appears I did remove your quote, and you are the one who reinstated. I do not remember doing so, and would like to apologize. Could you please respond where I contacted you about the secondary source required for [[WQ:FAME]]?

:Best, [[User:NorthernWinds|NorthernWinds]] ([[User talk:NorthernWinds|talk]]) 15:18, 26 July 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-08-1, 07:26 ==

* {{Vandal|Handmadefever}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 07:26, 1 August 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}}, blocked. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:42, 1 August 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-07-27, 13:26 ==

* {{IPvandal|177.98.100.114}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:26, 27 July 2025 (UTC)

:{{Ping|MathXplore}} E.g. ? I don't see any obvious vandalism. Are the quotations fake? (I've never seen this TV show). —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:09, 3 August 2025 (UTC)
:: [[Special:Log/177.98.100.114]] [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 01:29, 4 August 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-07-27, 13:28 ==

* {{Vandal|Mbretpix}}
* {{Vandal|RahulGandhi01}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:28, 27 July 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:10, 3 August 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-07-28, 22:19 ==

* {{Vandal|DJ Makosam Official 1}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 22:58, 28 July 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:10, 3 August 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-08-3, 13:24 ==

* {{Vandal|Cryptoemarketing}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:24, 3 August 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:03, 3 August 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-08-4, 01:17 ==

* {{Vandal|Jexebarb}}
* {{Vandal|Jesequote}}

Cross-wiki link spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 01:28, 4 August 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:36, 4 August 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-08-4, 01:30 ==

* {{Vandal|Ellie0804}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 01:31, 4 August 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:36, 4 August 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-08-4, 11:58 ==

* {{IPvandal|72.202.155.82}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:59, 4 August 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 18:46, 4 August 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-08-6, 12:01 ==

* {{Vandal|Bcuja}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:02, 6 August 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-08-7, 01:36 ==

* {{IPvandal|2601:243:D01:1F20:9049:4A73:338F:EE73}}

Cross-wiki spam, [[:w:WP:FORUMSHOP]], [[Special:CentralAuth/PawPatroler]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 02:13, 7 August 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-08-7, 07:36 ==

* {{Vandal|Provent-compliance1}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 07:36, 7 August 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}}, deleted and blocked. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:12, 7 August 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-08-8, 12:21 ==

* {{Vandal|Proventcompliance301}}
* {{Vandal|Abarch Architects}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:45, 8 August 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else, latter globally. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:38, 12 August 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-08-9, 23:18 ==

* {{Vandal|Joseph05678890}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:20, 9 August 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} deleted by someone else, welcomed/warned. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:39, 12 August 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-08-10, 12:46 ==

* {{Vandal|BinanceDatabase}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:48, 10 August 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:40, 12 August 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-08-10, 12:48 ==

* {{Vandal|Fluvos Captus}}
* [[Abdelnaser Abdelfatah]]

Spam ([[Special:CentralAuth/Абидров_Рафаэль_Беймович]], [[Special:CentralAuth/गुंडा]], [[Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard/Archive/040#Return_of_Abdel_Nasser_Abdel_Fattah_Mohamed_(ANAFM)]], [[:m:User:علاء/case2#Mohamed_AlAgha]]). [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:54, 10 August 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} globally, undoing now. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:40, 12 August 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-08-12, 02:11 ==

* {{IPvandal|187.89.104.62}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 02:47, 12 August 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} Empty pages deleted, user welcome/warned. I didn't see anything that was actually &quot;vandalism&quot;, so if I missed it, please give a diff. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:44, 12 August 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-08-12, 12:54 ==

* {{IPvandal|31.134.188.230}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:09, 12 August 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-08-14, 03:21 ==

* {{Vandal|Thegoofhere}}
Some one keeps removing pro Israel quotes only replacing them with quotes from Ali khamenei lol https://en.m.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Iran%E2%80%93Israel_war&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3793121
A short explanation for why this username should be blocked. [[User:Baratiiman|Baratiiman]] ([[User talk:Baratiiman|talk]]) 03:23, 14 August 2025 (UTC)

:I'm not? What are you even talking about, dude [[User:Thegoofhere|Thegoofhere]] ([[User talk:Thegoofhere|talk]]) 03:26, 14 August 2025 (UTC)
::I was merely removing quotes that weren't properly sourced to [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:Reliable sources|RS]], please see [[WQ:QUOTE]] [[User:Thegoofhere|Thegoofhere]] ([[User talk:Thegoofhere|talk]]) 04:10, 14 August 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-08-14, 11:40 ==

* {{Vandal|Justinmartin012}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:36, 14 August 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 10:07, 15 August 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-08-15, 17:55 ==

Moved to Administrators' noticeboard [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard#New_report_2025-08-15,_17:55] -[[User:IOHANNVSVERVS|IOHANNVSVERVS]] ([[User talk:IOHANNVSVERVS|talk]]) 05:00, 16 August 2025 (UTC)

* {{Vandal|NorthernWinds}}
posting here about the continued targeted subtractive vandalism by this new user on pages relating to palestine and israel. tagging {{Ping|koavf}} as promised, and also {{Ping|UDScott}}, {{Ping|Kalki}}, and {{Ping|Peter1c}} because they've been involved in talk page discussions with northernwinds. northernwinds, can you tag any editors that you think have shown support for the large cuts you've been trying to make under the notability guideline, so they can particapate in this conversation too? 

a timeline of my involvement in what's been happening is something like this:
on july 26 i noticed unusual, subtractive editing on the [[Zionism]] page from a newly created account and reverted it with a note why. northernwinds continued to cut quotes from that page anyway and started to on the [[Palestine]] page as well, so i reported it on the Vandalism in Progress page: &quot;new account that seems to be focused exclusively on Israel and Palestine (a lot of activisty on Zionism and the Palestine page). Is deleting many quotes other editors added, contacting some editors but not waiting for responses. It's been disruptive, not sure if it qualifies as vandalism or political activism or just someone who hasn't learned the process yet.&quot; northernwinds posted a defensive paragraph 8 minutes later but no admin responded and that report is now [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikiquote:Vandalism_in_progress/Archive/16 archived]. 

northernwinds continued trying to make large cuts of quotes other editors had added and some of the removals were reverted by admins. on august 5 i reverted their attempted mass quote removal on the [[Palestine]] page and asked them using the edit summary: &quot; which people on the page do you think should not be considered notable? and for the ones that you agree are notable but you think the quote isn't, what is a different quote by them you suggest?&quot; northernwinds posted an evasive response on the palestine talk page, which i responded to there and also said i was going to wait for some kind of feedback from an admin before deciding whether to communicate directly with them again. we both contacted {{Ping|Kalki}} on august 5 and northernwinds has a bolded explanation there that the notability guideline is not a mandate, and august 7 from {{Ping|Peter1c}} on the palestine talk page as well.

on august 12 and 13 i reverted northernwinds attempted mass removal of quotes from the [[Zionism]] and [[Israel]] pages and added the suggestion in the edit summary &quot;if you think we should make subtractive changes as a new editor, list on the talk page the names of the individuals that you think should not be considered notable, and over time we can see if other editors agree or not.&quot; and i asked on koavf's talk page: &quot;if you looked at the user's large subtractive edits and their comments on talk pages and didn't/don't interpret it as vandalism, could you write about how what they've been doing is different than cases that you do judge to be vandalism? and if you do spend some time reviewing this situation, do you have any feedback or advice for what i could try to do differently next time i notice a new editor trying to make large cuts to pages like this?&quot;
i have also reverted northernwinds july 31 attempt to remove half of the content other editors had added to the [[Israeli–Palestinian conflict]] page

i've been choosing to revert to the version of these pages right before northernwinds started trying to make cuts by misusing the notability guideline because those were most obviously political activism. but northernwinds also made a series of significant cuts to pages on july 3 with the endurance guideline as the explanation, including a third of the quotes that were on the [[Israel]] page. if anyone has already checked if some of those were made in bad faith too or not, can you let us know so we're all on the same page? [[User:A23423413|A23423413]] ([[User talk:A23423413|talk]]) 19:13, 15 August 2025 (UTC)

:This is more suitable for the administrator's noticeboard than here. You may want to move it [[User:NorthernWinds|NorthernWinds]] ([[User talk:NorthernWinds|talk]]) 19:40, 15 August 2025 (UTC)
:Hello @[[User:A23423413|A23423413]] and @[[User:NorthernWinds|NorthernWinds]]. I am willing to help resolve this disagreement. 
:1. I see NorthernWinds is making additions as well as deletions. To me this implies it is problematic to describe NorthenWinds as a vandal. I don't underestimate the value of expressing feelings along with editorial concerns, but precision of language can help avoid unnecessary escalation. See [[WQ:AGF]].
:2. If any disagreement about deletion of a quotation is documented or anticipated, Wikiquote best practice is to move the deleted quotations to the talk page, maintaining them alphabetically, and include detailed explanations for deletions and other editorial actions. 
:Thank you for your contributions to Wikiquote! ~ [[User:Peter1c|Peter1c]] ([[User talk:Peter1c|talk]]) 20:54, 15 August 2025 (UTC)
:I agree that this is better suited to the AN. Please move this there. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 21:05, 15 August 2025 (UTC)

Moved to Administrators' noticeboard [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard#New_report_2025-08-15,_17:55] -[[User:IOHANNVSVERVS|IOHANNVSVERVS]] ([[User talk:IOHANNVSVERVS|talk]]) 05:00, 16 August 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-08-15, 22:44 ==

* {{Vandal|Lesenokx}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:27, 15 August 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:32, 15 August 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-08-20, 12:24 ==

* {{Vandal|Virinchipvs}}

Cross-wiki link spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:59, 20 August 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 13:33, 20 August 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-08-24, 04:00 ==

* {{IPvandal|2804:D51:4427:6100:648E:2EEF:CA13:CC96}}

Recurring vandalism on [[The Powerpuff Girls]] and [[The Powerpuff Girls Movie]], see those pages' histories. You might want to consider blocking the whole /32 range. [[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]]) 04:01, 24 August 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-08-25, 23:37 ==

* {{IPvandal|2001:8003:B437:DE00:CC40:CB84:7BC5:EA52}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:39, 25 August 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:33, 26 August 2025 (UTC) — blocked this IP for a month — but right now, I don’t have enough info or time to attempt a wider range block.
== New report 2025-08-26, 12:31 ==

* {{Vandal|Bunnyleisureadultcenter}}

Cross-wiki spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:42, 26 August 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 01:14, 27 August 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-08-26, 22:48 ==

* {{Vandal|Thewesternoutfit0}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:15, 26 August 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 01:11, 27 August 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-08-27, 22:57 ==

* {{Vandal|Defrenzel9}}

He appears to be the same IP user who vandalized [[Beast Wars: Transformers]] and [[Beast Machines: Transformers]]. - [[User:FilmandTVFan28|FilmandTVFan28]] ([[User talk:FilmandTVFan28|talk]]) 23:22, 27 August 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:26, 27 August 2025 (UTC) — blocked.
::Why are you not accepting me all the time including for News Of The World and for The Father? [[Special:Contributions/2600:1700:5AED:1000:C18A:F463:188A:63A0|2600:1700:5AED:1000:C18A:F463:188A:63A0]] 01:45, 28 August 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-08-28, 07:10 ==

* {{Vandal|Bajajhomeandliving}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 07:42, 28 August 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:32, 28 August 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-09-2, 08:29 ==

* {{IPvandal|150.228.135.214}}

Spam.[[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 08:30, 2 September 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by rollback. I hope that's enough for now. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 12:06, 2 September 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-09-2, 22:36 ==

* {{Vandal|Cricwindow}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 22:53, 2 September 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:05, 2 September 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-09-3, 22:05 ==

* {{Vandal|OLAYINKA WALIYAT}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:00, 3 September 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 00:01, 4 September 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-09-4, 11:56 ==

* {{Vandal|Travis34567}}
* {{Vandal|Ademayowa12}}

Cross-wiki spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:31, 4 September 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else and me. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:36, 4 September 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-09-4, 12:40 ==

* {{Vandal|We are going to get a Democratic President soon}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:46, 4 September 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 16:36, 4 September 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-09-5, 11:55 ==

* {{Vandal|Jhonnycarmen}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:06, 5 September 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else, reported at [[:m:]]. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 12:21, 5 September 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-09-7, 02:38 ==

* {{Vandal|X UZBOT}}

[[Wikiquote:Username_policy#Inappropriate_usernames]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 03:29, 7 September 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:44, 7 September 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-09-7, 07:27 ==

* {{Vandal|Yellowstone Apparel}}
* {{Vandal|~2025-52117-2}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 07:33, 7 September 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} (IP not blocked as stale). —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:35, 9 September 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-09-7, 11:11 ==

* {{Vandal|Md Rafiul Islam Rafi (mrafiseo)}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:49, 7 September 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:35, 9 September 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-09-7, 22:13 ==

* {{Vandal|Armoredcarcomedies}}
* {{Vandal|Luka Madhieu Kuot Mou}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 22:38, 7 September 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:36, 9 September 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-09-8, 12:52 ==

* {{Vandal|Arowolo1123}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:54, 8 September 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else, reported to stewards. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:39, 9 September 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-09-8, 12:54 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-55658-1}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:55, 8 September 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:40, 9 September 2025 (UTC)
== Block evasion, POV-pushing white supremacist ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-51577-8}}

Block evasion; see [[Wikiquote:Administrators'_noticeboard/Archive/041#2001:8003:DC14::/48:_long-term_abuse_by_antisemitic_racist_extreme_right-wing_vandal_for_six_years|this recent noticeboard thread]] for context. [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] ([[User talk:Antandrus|talk]]) 15:08, 10 September 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:47, 15 September 2025 (UTC)
::{{replyto|Koavf}} Thanks, but it'd be better to block that temporary account for three months, which is how long they last ... that would literally only affect that user and would probably give both [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]] and I more piece of mind. (As you can see, the temporary account encompasses the same user on multiple IP addresses). Poking at the underlying /64's of the IPV6 addresses (the ones with colons rather than dots) would also be completely safe). If I were you, I would also block [[Special:Contributions/~2025-57996-1|~2025-57996-1]] for three months as well (see below), just to cover all bases (as you can see the /64 used by that one is also used by ~2025-51577-8). [[User:Graham87|Graham87]] ([[User talk:Graham87|talk]]) 05:45, 15 September 2025 (UTC)
:::{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 15:05, 15 September 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-09-11, 12:13 ==

* {{Vandal|VinnyDove}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:13, 11 September 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:45, 15 September 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-09-11, 12:23 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-56504-6}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:22, 11 September 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:46, 15 September 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-09-11, 20:18 ==

* {{Vandal|Patrick sigma}}

Likely a vandalism only account judging by the single edit. [[User:IanDBeacon|IanDBeacon]] ([[User talk:IanDBeacon|talk]]) 20:19, 11 September 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:48, 15 September 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-09-12, 13:28 ==

* {{Vandal|InvoiceTempleApp}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 14:16, 12 September 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} globally. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:49, 15 September 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-09-13, 03:54 ==

* {{Vandal|Natieyamylostrealacc}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 04:51, 13 September 2025 (UTC)

:What do you mean by Vandalism? Why am I being pinged? [[User:Natieyamylostrealacc|Natieyamylostrealacc]] ([[User talk:Natieyamylostrealacc|talk]]) 14:26, 13 September 2025 (UTC)
:: I have seen [[:w:WP:YELL]] in [[special:permalink/3806533]] so I thought this is the case. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:16, 13 September 2025 (UTC)
:::I'm sorry, sir. I just put AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA in my page. I didn't know that I was breaking the rules. [[User:Natieyamylostrealacc|Natieyamylostrealacc]] ([[User talk:Natieyamylostrealacc|talk]]) 18:06, 14 September 2025 (UTC)
::::{{done}} Rare false positive, but understandable. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:39, 15 September 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-09-13, 05:23 ==

* {{Vandal|OmranTokhi7}}

Cross-wiki spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 06:04, 13 September 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} globally —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:51, 15 September 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-09-13, 23:16 ==

* {{Vandal|Leonard Ali}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:17, 13 September 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:55, 15 September 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-09-16, 11:10 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-62212-4}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:38, 16 September 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-09-16, 23:35 ==

* {{Vandal|MakingTheWorldBetter1977}}
* {{Vandal|SheSaidCampaign}}

VFD vote stacking at [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Shadan Kapri]] &amp; [[Talk:Shadan Kapri]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:37, 16 September 2025 (UTC)
: [[:m:Steward_requests/Checkuser/2025-09#MakingTheWorldBetter1977@en.wikiquote]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:37, 16 September 2025 (UTC)
:Is this your attempt to hide your sexism and misogyny??  Failed attempt. [[User:SheSaidCampaign|SheSaidCampaign]] ([[User talk:SheSaidCampaign|talk]]) 00:05, 17 September 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-09-17, 23:36 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-52999-8}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:36, 17 September 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-09-18, 00:00 ==

* {{Vandal|Noeruchan is worst, Thcsphuninh2006 is good}}

Vandalism only, troll username, some sort of LTA I think [[User:&amp;#126;delta|&amp;#126;delta]] ([[User talk:&amp;#126;delta|talk]]) 00:02, 18 September 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-09-18, 07:19 ==

* {{Vandal|Noeruchan are worst, Thcsphuninh2006 are best}}

Vandalism, LTA. [[User:Như Gây Mê|Như Gây Mê]] ([[User talk:Như Gây Mê|talk]]) 07:21, 18 September 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-09-18, 12:03 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-63753-0}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:02, 18 September 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-09-19, 03:54 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-63481-6}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 04:26, 19 September 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-09-19, 22:16 ==

* {{Vandal|Ayane Fumihiro is worst, ChanComThemPho is good}}

The individual's contributions make the obvious reason why. [[User:Apisite|Apisite]] ([[User talk:Apisite|talk]]) 22:17, 19 September 2025 (UTC)
: Locked globally. &lt;span style=&quot;display:inline-block;text-align:center;vertical-align:bottom;line-height:0.5em;&quot;&gt;~~&lt;nowiki/&gt;~~&lt;br/&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size:0.7em;&quot;&gt;[[User:1234qwer1234qwer4]] ([[User talk:1234qwer1234qwer4|talk]])&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt; 22:46, 19 September 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-09-20, 10:55 ==

* {{Vandal|MehedisStoryland}}

[[:w:WP:NOTWEBHOST]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:43, 20 September 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-09-20, 14:38 ==

* {{Vandal|Happypengirl}}

looks like it could be vandalism. [[User:ᘙ|ᘙ]] ([[User talk:ᘙ|talk]]) 14:41, 20 September 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-09-12, 17:53 ==

* {{IPvandal|~2025-57996-1}}

https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Vandalism_in_progress&amp;oldid=3806302#Block_evasion,_POV-pushing_white_supremacist

{{ping|Antandrus}}
{{ping|Graham87}}

[[User:ᘙ|ᘙ]] ([[User talk:ᘙ|talk]]) 18:10, 12 September 2025 (UTC)
:Thanks. If an admin sees this, can someone give me at least Temporary account IP viewer rights, so I can still see the IP addresses of the user involved? [[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]], you should probably get yourself these rights, but you have to request them specifically, per the Wikimedia Foundation [[wmf:Policy:Wikimedia Access to Temporary Account IP Addresses Policy|Wikimedia Access to Temporary Account IP Addresses Policy]]. This goes for everyone here. [[User:Graham87|Graham87]] ([[User talk:Graham87|talk]]) 18:55, 12 September 2025 (UTC)
::{{done}} I gave you six months, let me know if you need more, Graham. Thanks for all you do and have done. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 04:50, 15 September 2025 (UTC)
:::{{replyto|Koavf}} Thanks very much for the rights grant and the kind words. Could you please give them to me indefinitely? This user's been hanging around Wikiquote for at least five years (see [[User:Antandrus/sandbox]]) so I think I'd just be back here in another six months otherwise. Unless timed rights grants are more regular here or something. [[User:Graham87|Graham87]] ([[User talk:Graham87|talk]]) 04:59, 15 September 2025 (UTC)
::::{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 05:04, 15 September 2025 (UTC)

:::{{ping|Antandrus}} {{ping|Graham87}} can you check if [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/~2025-64984-0 this ] is the same user ? --[[User:ᘙ|ᘙ]] ([[User talk:ᘙ|talk]]) 11:02, 21 September 2025 (UTC)
::::{{replyto|ᘙ}} Thanks for the note. Don't think so. The IP doesn't match at all and the MO is a bit different. [[User:Graham87|Graham87]] ([[User talk:Graham87|talk]]) 11:56, 21 September 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-09-20, 20:45 ==

* {{IPvandal|~2025-67389-4}}

Looks like a sock puppet of banned user Defrenzel9. - [[User:FilmandTVFan28|FilmandTVFan28]] ([[User talk:FilmandTVFan28|talk]]) 21:30, 20 September 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-09-20, 22:35 ==

* {{IPvandal|~2025-52999-8}}

Creating tons of test pages, please nuke and block. [[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]]) 23:01, 20 September 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-09-21, 11:56 ==

* {{Vandal|ShantaHowladar}}

Long-term abuse. [[Special:CentralAuth/Mahichowdhury20]], Recreated [[Atikur Rahman Mahi]] ([[:w:Atikur Rahman Mahi]], [[:w:simple:Atikur Rahman Mahi]]). [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:09, 21 September 2025 (UTC)

:Globally locked [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 13:27, 21 September 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-09-22, 13:26 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-68209-1}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:46, 22 September 2025 (UTC)

:* {{done}} [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 13:54, 22 September 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-09-22, 23:54 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-69132-7}}

Long-term abuse. [[Special:CentralAuth/Rayhanltd]], please see [[Riptech]] (founded by [[:w:simple:Sheikh Rayhan]]). [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:56, 22 September 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done}} by Lemonaka. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 04:15, 25 September 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-09-25, 01:59 ==

* {{Vandal|Jibikapexus}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 02:00, 25 September 2025 (UTC)
:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 04:20, 25 September 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-09-25, 02:00 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-26235-63}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 02:48, 25 September 2025 (UTC)
:{{Done|Blocked}} for one month. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 04:20, 25 September 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-09-25, 19:58 ==

* {{Vandal|Norbir2007}}

Already blocked, but has spam requiring deletion at [[User talk:Norbir2007]]. Edit filters prevent me from blanking the page. [[User:Rsjaffe|Rsjaffe]] ([[User talk:Rsjaffe|talk]]) 20:24, 25 September 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:07, 25 September 2025 (UTC) — page deleted.

== New report 2025-09-26, 11:14 ==

* {{Vandal|EsunFiber}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:09, 26 September 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-09-26, 23:42 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-63481-6}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:43, 26 September 2025 (UTC)
:{{Done|Blocked}} for one month. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 05:20, 27 September 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-09-29, 13:22 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-26549-07}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:27, 29 September 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 14:07, 29 September 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-09-29, 22:58 ==

* {{Vandal|Purnikushi}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 22:58, 29 September 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:38, 29 September 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-09-29, 22:58 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-27085-60}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:00, 29 September 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:38, 29 September 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-09-29, 23:17 ==

* {{Vandal|Sunrise vs Moonrise, I'm Not Sunrise, I'm Moonrise}}
Vandalism. --[[User:Leonidlednev|Leonidlednev]] ([[User talk:Leonidlednev|talk]]) 23:23, 29 September 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:28, 29 September 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-10-1, 04:25 ==

* {{Vandal|Nice Blessings}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 04:25, 1 October 2025 (UTC)
:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 07:57, 1 October 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-10-1, 04:25 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-26900-10}}

Cross-wiki issues. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 04:26, 1 October 2025 (UTC)
:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 07:57, 1 October 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-10-1, 07:45 ==

* {{Vandal|88ipgcom1}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 07:45, 1 October 2025 (UTC)
:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 07:57, 1 October 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-10-1, 07:45 ==

* {{Vandal|Napaextra376}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 07:47, 1 October 2025 (UTC)
:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 07:57, 1 October 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-09-27, 15:10 ==

* {{Vandal|Allthedays}}

Blatantly bypassing the block placed on [[Shining Time Station]] and [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Shining%20Time%20Station&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3781520 inexplicably removing content] (though I suspect that the user is yet another sockpuppet of repeat vandal Fourlaxers, [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User%20talk:DawgDeputy&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=2229277 as he considers Schemer calling his mother &quot;Mommy&quot; childish] (every quote he removed, has even the smallest hint of Schemer referencing his mother), despite the fact that that is how the show was made and he cannot do anything about it). I request that he be blocked indefinitely with account creation permanently disabled, and a stronger and longer block be placed on the article. [[User:DawgDeputy|DawgDeputy]] ([[User talk:DawgDeputy|talk]]) 15:19, 27 September 2025 (UTC)
: Declined, Vandalism already stooped. If they start edits again, feel free to re-report. -[[user:Lemonaka|‎&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue; text-shadow:jet 0 0.2em 0.2em; font-family:Segoe Print; font-size: 13px&quot;&gt;'''Lemonaka'''‎&lt;/span&gt;]] 03:12, 4 October 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-10-2, 00:02 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-27393-88}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 00:03, 2 October 2025 (UTC)
: Indeffed after talk page abuse. -[[user:Lemonaka|‎&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue; text-shadow:jet 0 0.2em 0.2em; font-family:Segoe Print; font-size: 13px&quot;&gt;'''Lemonaka'''‎&lt;/span&gt;]] 03:11, 4 October 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-10-3, 12:24 ==

* {{Vandal|Rehmanmahidu}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:24, 3 October 2025 (UTC)
: Blocked and delete -[[user:Lemonaka|‎&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue; text-shadow:jet 0 0.2em 0.2em; font-family:Segoe Print; font-size: 13px&quot;&gt;'''Lemonaka'''‎&lt;/span&gt;]] 03:09, 4 October 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-10-4, 12:39 ==

* {{Vandal|Aroon596}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:40, 4 October 2025 (UTC)
: Blocked and delete. -[[user:Lemonaka|‎&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue; text-shadow:jet 0 0.2em 0.2em; font-family:Segoe Print; font-size: 13px&quot;&gt;'''Lemonaka'''‎&lt;/span&gt;]] 15:05, 4 October 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-10-6 18:13 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-27890-11}}

Creating vandalism pages. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 18:14, 6 October 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-10-7, 03:28 ==

* {{Vandal|Nehal Khan Jit}}
* {{Vandal|Nehal Khan Jit Chemist}}

crosswiki spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 03:29, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 04:09, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-10-9, 16:57 ==

* {{Vandal|Huynhthiminhngoc99 are amazingsssss}}
Long-term abuse. [[User:Leonidlednev|Leonidlednev]] ([[User talk:Leonidlednev|talk]]) 16:57, 9 October 2025 (UTC)

:(non-admin comment) Now globally locked. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 17:07, 9 October 2025 (UTC)
::Blocked here as well now. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:34, 9 October 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-10-9, 23:20 ==

* {{Vandal|Misrut fridew}}

Long-term abuse. [[Special:CentralAuth/गुंडा]], [[:m:User:علاء/case2#Mohamed_AlAgha]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:22, 9 October 2025 (UTC)
: already locked. -[[user:Lemonaka|‎&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue; text-shadow:jet 0 0.2em 0.2em; font-family:Segoe Print; font-size: 13px&quot;&gt;'''Lemonaka'''‎&lt;/span&gt;]] 07:30, 10 October 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-10-10, 13:01 ==

* {{Vandal|2025-28348-18}}

Long-term abuse. [[Special:CentralAuth/SheSaidCampaign]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:02, 10 October 2025 (UTC)
:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 13:25, 10 October 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-10-10, 13:02 ==

* {{Vandal|Abidbanga}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:03, 10 October 2025 (UTC)
:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 13:27, 10 October 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-10-11, 12:35 ==

* {{Vandal|RalfP.Carreon78}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:35, 11 October 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} — globally blocked by someone else. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:32, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-10-12, 13:23 ==

* {{Vandal|Esimoio}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:23, 12 October 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} — blocked and pages deleted. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 13:33, 12 October 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-10-13, 12:36 ==

* {{Vandal|Palhsn}}

Long-term abuse. [[:w:Wikipedia:Sockpuppet investigations/Mate Sam99/Archive]], contribution on [[Mai Vu Minh]] ([[:w:Mai Vu Minh]], [[:w:simple:Mai Vu Minh]]). [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:37, 13 October 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 12:38, 13 October 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-10-13, 19:06 ==

* {{IPvandal|~2025-28703-67}}

Vandalism. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 19:07, 13 October 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 20:40, 13 October 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-10-14, 11:48 ==

* {{Vandal|Adeosun 007}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:19, 14 October 2025 (UTC)
:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 12:44, 14 October 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-10-14, 23:05 ==

* {{Vandal|Escort Girls In Uae}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:33, 14 October 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:36, 14 October 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-10-15, 14:16 ==

* {{Vandal|Sri isoftwarez}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 14:17, 15 October 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} by another admin. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 23:29, 15 October 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-10-18, 00:15 ==

* {{Vandal|Xewz}}

Long-term abuse. [[Special:CentralAuth/Would_build]], [[:m:User:علاء/case2#Mohamed_AlAgha]], [[Abdelnasser Abdelfattah]], [[Special:Diff/3823644]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 00:16, 18 October 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-10-18, 12:36 ==

* {{Vandal|Victoria1265}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:49, 18 October 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-10-18, 12:49 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-29255-18}}
Vandalism. [[User:Leonidlednev|Leonidlednev]] ([[User talk:Leonidlednev|talk]]) 19:00, 18 October 2025 (UTC)

:Note: [[Special:Contributions/~2025-29159-51|~2025-29159-51]] is the same person as this [[User:Thegoofhere|Thegoofhere]] ([[User talk:Thegoofhere|talk]]) 00:17, 19 October 2025 (UTC)
::{{Done}} [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 01:17, 19 October 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-10-19, 11:54 ==

* {{Vandal|Ahealthydivorce}}
* {{Vandal|Beyondarchitects7}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:55, 19 October 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done}} [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 18:59, 19 October 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-10-19, 11:55 ==

* {{Vandal|Alexdon10}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:58, 19 October 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done}} [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 19:00, 19 October 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-10-19, 11:58 ==

* {{Vandal|Goodhiredomestichelperinsingap}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:53, 19 October 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done}} [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 19:01, 19 October 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-10-19, 12:53 ==

* {{Vandal|Doublegcontractingpainting}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:56, 19 October 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done}} [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 19:01, 19 October 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-10-19, 12:56 ==

* {{Vandal|Goodhiredomestichelper}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:24, 19 October 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done}} [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 19:01, 19 October 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-10-20, 11:40 ==

* {{Vandal|Dacknight01}}

[[:w:WP:NOTWEBHOST]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:40, 20 October 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by someone else it seems. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 13:24, 20 October 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-10-20, 11:40 ==

* {{Vandal|KaiakSa}}

Long-term abuse. [[:w:Wikipedia:Sockpuppet investigations/Mate Sam99/Archive]] ([[Special:Contributions/Palhsn]], blocked by {{u|Koavf}}), contribution on [[Mai Vũ Minh]] ([[:w:Mai Vu Minh]], [[:w:simple:Mai Vu Minh]]). [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:44, 20 October 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done}} [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 12:32, 20 October 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-10-21, 11:52 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-29574-83}}

Long-term abuse. [[:w:Wikipedia:Sockpuppet investigations/Mate Sam99/Archive]] ([[Special:Contributions/Palhsn]], blocked by {{u|Koavf}}), contribution on [[Mai Vũ Minh]] ([[:w:Mai Vu Minh]], [[:w:simple:Mai Vu Minh]]). [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:28, 21 October 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done}} [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 16:59, 21 October 2025 (UTC)
::The page has been deleted. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 17:02, 21 October 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-10-23, 11:23 ==

* {{Vandal|Betjp88}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:08, 23 October 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 15:26, 24 October 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-10-24, 12:10 ==

* {{Vandal|AmeriSurgical}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:36, 24 October 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} blocked by another admin. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 15:26, 24 October 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-10-24, 12:36 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-29918-98}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:40, 24 October 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 15:26, 24 October 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-10-24, 12:40 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-29926-75}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:41, 24 October 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 15:26, 24 October 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-10-25, 11:17 ==

* {{Vandal|Bel BZGIGI}}

Basic spam on two newly created talk pages (and on [[:meta:Talk:Wikiquote/fr]]). [[User:Lucas Werkmeister|Lucas Werkmeister]] ([[User talk:Lucas Werkmeister|talk]]) 11:22, 25 October 2025 (UTC)

:Now vandalizing the subject namespace too at [[Destiné doukaga]]. [[User:Lucas Werkmeister|Lucas Werkmeister]] ([[User talk:Lucas Werkmeister|talk]]) 13:54, 25 October 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-10-26, 05:41 ==

* {{Vandal|VedankTamrakar}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 05:42, 26 October 2025 (UTC)

:globally locked [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 11:42, 27 October 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-10-26, 18:55 ==

* {{IPvandal|2601:5C7:4100:3600:ADDC:867A:249D:753B/64}}

Extensive vandalism since earlier this month. [[User:NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh|NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh]] ([[User talk:NguoiDungKhongDinhDanh|talk]]) 19:55, 26 October 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} for one month. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 11:48, 27 October 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-10-27, 22:31 ==

* {{Vandal|Freeshops}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:08, 27 October 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-10-30, 08:39 ==

* {{Vandal|NyamericanJacket1}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 08:40, 30 October 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done}} [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 11:55, 30 October 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-10-30, 22:56 ==

* {{Vandal|Muzammal Shahzad}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 22:56, 30 October 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-11-1, 08:35 ==

* {{IPvandal|~2025-30266-26}}

Vandalism. [[User:ᘙ|ᘙ]] ([[User talk:ᘙ|talk]]) 08:36, 1 November 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-11-5, 11:26 ==

* {{Vandal|Charlotte Millerr}}

Cross-wiki link spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:19, 5 November 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 13:21, 5 November 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-11-7, 07:36 ==

* {{Vandal|Kitoinfocoms}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 07:36, 7 November 2025 (UTC)
:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 11:02, 7 November 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-11-7, 12:14 ==

* {{Vandal|Yanok7}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:34, 7 November 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done}} by UDScott. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 03:32, 8 November 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-11-7, 22:34 ==

* {{Vandal|Hasan061}}

Cross-wiki spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:17, 7 November 2025 (UTC)
:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 03:31, 8 November 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-11-8, 06:57 ==

* {{IPvandal|~2025-31580-72}}
* {{IPvandal|~2025-31052-57}}
* {{IPvandal|~2025-31358-44}}

I believe the following unregistered editors are all tied to the same end user. Whatever the case may be, these three are shown to consistently disruptively edit the [[Looney Tunes: Back in Action]] page to a version generally accepted to contain misleading content. There is an ongoing edit war over this issue.[[User:729MT|729MT]] ([[User talk:729MT|talk]]) 07:27, 8 November 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done}} [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 08:15, 8 November 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-11-8, 12:17 ==

* {{Vandal|Nutribray}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:17, 8 November 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-11-11, 12:20 ==

* {{Vandal|Md Tahamid Badhon}}

Cross-wiki spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:25, 11 November 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 13:52, 11 November 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-11-12, 12:40 ==

* {{Vandal|Dwakm}}

Cross-wiki spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:16, 12 November 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-11-12, 13:16 ==

* {{Vandal|Braden nekton 9}}

Cross-wiki spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:31, 12 November 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-11-12, 13:31 ==

* {{Vandal|SweepyMaids}}

Cross-wiki spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:54, 12 November 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-11-12, 14:27 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-32990-85}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 14:52, 12 November 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-11-12, 18:35 ==

* {{Vandal|2600:1005:B152:F260:5428:B3D5:CD09:6252}}

Classic vandalism. [[User:Left page|Left page]] ([[User talk:Left page|talk]]) 18:35, 12 November 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-11-13, 05:00 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-32982-32}}

spam, [[Special:CentralAuth/Braden_nekton_9]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 05:01, 13 November 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 05:48, 13 November 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-11-13, 08:21 ==

* {{Vandal|Usacarwash}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 09:04, 13 November 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-11-14, 12:12 ==

* {{Vandal|Americanplumbing}}

Spam, [[Special:Contributions/Americanplumbingservice]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:13, 14 November 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-11-13, 09:04 ==

* {{Vandal|MortleyT1}}

[[:w:WP:NOTWEBHOST]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 09:10, 13 November 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 04:28, 15 November 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-11-14, 13:16 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-33528-17}}

Vandalism, removed CSD tag, [[Special:Contributions/GMK7]] (Recreated [[Temperance Fitzgerald]]). [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:18, 14 November 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 04:33, 15 November 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-11-15, 3:46 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-33593-32}}

Vandalism-only account. [[User:Left page|&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue&quot;&gt;⬅️ '''Left page'''&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Left page|'''discuss''']]) 03:47, 15 November 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 04:35, 15 November 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-11-15, 12:37 ==

* {{Vandal|Mmusolan11}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:38, 15 November 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 14:37, 15 November 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-11-15, 15:39 ==

* {{Vandal|LastHappyhippo}}

Vandalism. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 15:39, 17 November 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-11-19, 13:15 ==

* {{Vandal|Proowrx}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:16, 19 November 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 15:19, 19 November 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-11-19, 13:16 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-34951-18}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 14:11, 19 November 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 15:22, 19 November 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-11-19, 22:55 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-34935-01}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 23:21, 19 November 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:48, 20 November 2025 (UTC) — account blocked for one year, created pages deleted.
== New report 2025-11-21, 12:27 ==

* {{Vandal|Kingasterisk technologies}}

Spam-only account. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:09, 21 November 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-11-21, 13:09 ==

* {{Vandal|GaniGashi11}}

Long-term abuse. [[Special:CentralAuth/Gani_Gashi_piktori]], [[Special:CentralAuth/Gani_Gashi_piktor]], [[Special:CentralAuth/Gani_Gashi_13]], [[Special:CentralAuth/Gani_Gashi_1944]]. Please see: [[:w:en:Wikipedia:Sockpuppet investigations/Gani Gashi piktor]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:44, 21 November 2025 (UTC)

:Subject: Strong Objection to Deletion – Gani Gashi Wikiquote Page
:Dear editors,
:I am writing to formally object to the proposed deletion of the Wikiquote entry for Gani Gashi, as the page clearly meets the core inclusion standards and contains verifiable, encyclopedic, and culturally relevant material.
:1. Notability and Encyclopedic Value
:Gani Gashi is a recognized contemporary painter whose work has been exhibited, published, and cited in multiple independent sources. His artistic contributions, style, and public presence are documented through reliable coverage in media, exhibitions, catalogues, and scholarly discussions. This satisfies Wikiquote’s and Wikipedia’s general notability guidelines.
:2. Published, Verifiable Quotations
:The quotations included on the page are:
:Published
:Verifiable
:Directly attributed
:Relevant to his artistic philosophy and public contributions
:This aligns precisely with Wikiquote’s purpose: to archive significant quotations from notable individuals whose work impacts culture, art, and public discourse.
:3. Cultural and Artistic Significance
:It is important to recognize that not all volunteers are familiar with regional art history or Balkan contemporary art. However, lack of personal familiarity with an artist cannot serve as grounds for deletion when reliable sources, verifiable quotations, and clear notability exist. Cultural representation on Wikiquote must remain broad and inclusive, not limited only to globally mainstream figures.
:4. No Policy-Based Reason for Deletion
:After reviewing the deletion rationale, I find:
:No concrete policy violation
:No issue with verifiability
:No issue with sourcing
:No copyright concern
:No demonstration that the subject is non-notable
:A deletion without a policy-based justification would go against Wikiquote’s mission of preserving notable cultural contributions.
:5. Request for Fair Review
:I respectfully request:
:A policy-based explanation if deletion continues to be considered
:A fair and neutral review of the sources and quotations
:That the page remain available, as it demonstrably meets inclusion criteria
:Unless clear and specific violations are identified, there is no valid reason under Wikiquote policy for the page to be deleted.
:Thank you for your time, neutrality, and commitment to maintaining a diverse and representative project.
:Kind regards,
:Sadete [[User:GaniGashi11|GaniGashi11]] ([[User talk:GaniGashi11|talk]]) 14:00, 21 November 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-11-21, 14:42 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-35203-22}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 14:54, 21 November 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} - blocked temporarily, but will keep an eye out for further issues. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 15:46, 21 November 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-11-22, 12:00 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-35534-39}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:26, 22 November 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} — blocked and created pages deleted. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 19:40, 22 November 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-11-22, 21:33 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-35574-75}}

Vandalism. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 21:33, 22 November 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} — blocked. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 21:51, 22 November 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-11-23, 11:43 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-35324-70}}

Vandalism-only account. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:43, 23 November 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 13:04, 23 November 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-11-23, 12:54 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-35620-26}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:59, 23 November 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 13:04, 23 November 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-11-24, 05:10 ==

* {{Vandal|ScoreProTips2025}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 05:55, 24 November 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 10:16, 24 November 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-11-24, 12:17 ==

* {{Vandal|Tsconect}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:06, 24 November 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-11-27, 08:58 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-36599-65}}

Vandalism. [[User:MasashiInoue|MasashiInoue]] ([[User talk:MasashiInoue|talk]]) 09:01, 27 November 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-11-28, 13:15 ==

* {{Vandal|VaughnAWamsley}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:19, 28 November 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-11-28 14:00 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-36976-34}}

Vandalism. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 13:59, 28 November 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-11-28 23:34 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-37162-45}}

Vandalism. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 23:34, 28 November 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-11-29, 12:54 ==

* {{Vandal|Bravobuilt35}}
* {{Vandal|68658ghgg}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:55, 29 November 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-12-1, 12:52 ==

* {{Vandal|Thapegador}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:13, 1 December 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 14:08, 1 December 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-12-2, 14:15 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-38000-68}}

Vandalism. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 14:14, 2 December 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 15:07, 2 December 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-12-2, 23:46 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-35880-43}}

Vandalism. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 23:46, 2 December 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} for 2 weeks. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 05:23, 3 December 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-12-4, 12:38 ==

* {{Vandal|LinaHayes25}}
* {{Vandal|Junohayes}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:39, 4 December 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-12-5, 13:03 ==

* {{Vandal|Matildasmit}}

Cross-wiki link spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:04, 5 December 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 18:23, 6 December 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-12-5, 13:04 ==

* {{Vandal|Beautifulmindhealth}}

Spam/advertising-only account. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:05, 5 December 2025 (UTC)
: '''Non-admin comment''': blocked indefinitely by UDScott. [[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]]) 18:22, 6 December 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-12-6, 09:31 ==

* {{Vandal|Maiqueiizz}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 09:44, 6 December 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 18:25, 6 December 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-12-7, 03:11 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-36599-65}}

Vandalism. [[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]]) 03:12, 7 December 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 07:40, 7 December 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-12-7, 19:30 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-39184-02}}

Vandalism. [[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]]) 19:30, 7 December 2025 (UTC)

:Blocked indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 20:19, 7 December 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-12-8, 00:03 ==

* {{Vandal|M7 better, Hiyuune bad}}

LTA. [[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]]) 00:04, 8 December 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} — blocked. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 01:13, 8 December 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-12-8, 00:04 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-39065-25}}

Vandalism. [[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]]) 00:05, 8 December 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} — blocked. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 01:14, 8 December 2025 (UTC)
::{{replyto|Kalki}} Thanks very much for dealing with that vandalism. Could you (or any other admin who sees this) please block the underlying IP (which you can see as an admin and I can see as a temporary account IP viewer)? The underlying IP has several temporary accounts associated with it and has been blocked previously before the introduction of temporary accounts. Thanks! [[User:Graham87|Graham87]] ([[User talk:Graham87|talk]]) 04:35, 8 December 2025 (UTC)
:::{{Done|Blocked}} for 3 months. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 06:19, 8 December 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-12-14, 03:45 ==

* {{Vandal|Johnteyeministry}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 04:43, 14 December 2025 (UTC)
:{{done}} — blocked and spam pages deleted. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 06:06, 14 December 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-12-14, 16:54 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-40578-15}}

Repeatedly inserted nonsense at [[The Simpsons]]. [[User:lp0 on fire|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #c56030&quot;&gt;lp0&amp;nbsp;on&amp;nbsp;fire&lt;/span&gt;]]&amp;nbsp;[[User talk:lp0 on fire|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #64cea0&quot;&gt;()&lt;/span&gt;]] 16:55, 14 December 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} for 2 weeks. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 17:09, 14 December 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-12-15, 12:18 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-27022-09}}
vandalism, e.g. at [[Frozen (2013 film)]] or [[SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 4]] [[User:lp0 on fire|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #c56030&quot;&gt;lp0&amp;nbsp;on&amp;nbsp;fire&lt;/span&gt;]]&amp;nbsp;[[User talk:lp0 on fire|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #64cea0&quot;&gt;()&lt;/span&gt;]] 12:38, 15 December 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 13:07, 15 December 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-12-15, 20:09 ==

* {{Vandal|Higashizakura vs Ternera, Ternera Best}}

LTA 404. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 20:09, 15 December 2025 (UTC)
: Globally locked by Bsadowski1. [[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]]) 20:15, 15 December 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-12-16, 12:45 ==

* {{Vandal|Supertech123}}

Cross-wiki link spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:46, 16 December 2025 (UTC)

:Globally locked. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 03:35, 17 December 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-12-18, 11:16 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-41607-99}}

Vandalism. [[User:lp0 on fire|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #c56030&quot;&gt;lp0&amp;nbsp;on&amp;nbsp;fire&lt;/span&gt;]]&amp;nbsp;[[User talk:lp0 on fire|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #64cea0&quot;&gt;()&lt;/span&gt;]] 12:02, 18 December 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 12:54, 18 December 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-12-18, 12:02 ==

* {{Vandal|Trends87}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:54, 18 December 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 12:55, 18 December 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-12-18 17:32 ==

* {{Vandal|Mosdaliodf}}

Vandalism. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 17:31, 18 December 2025 (UTC)
: {{done}}. [[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]]) 16:15, 19 December 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-12-19, 13:06 ==

* {{Vandal|Pirazhppouyaa}}

Cross-wiki spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:06, 19 December 2025 (UTC)
: {{done}}. [[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]]) 16:16, 19 December 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-12-14, 16:54 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-40578-15}}

Vandalism. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 16:54, 14 December 2025 (UTC)
: {{done}} by Saroj. [[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]]) 23:13, 20 December 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-12-15, 20:04 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-40913-54}}

Vandalism. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 20:04, 15 December 2025 (UTC)
: This is stale, please re-report if they continue vandalizing. [[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]]) 23:13, 20 December 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-12-19, 13:06 ==

* {{Vandal|HitoryCloud}}

spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:11, 19 December 2025 (UTC)
: {{done|Page deleted}}. [[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]]) 23:12, 20 December 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-12-20, 23:10 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-41906-72}}

Talk page nonsense. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 23:10, 20 December 2025 (UTC)
: {{done}}. [[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]]) 23:12, 20 December 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-12-24, 12:57 ==

* {{Vandal|0prestogroup}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:57, 24 December 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 13:40, 24 December 2025 (UTC)

== New report 2025-12-24, 12:57 ==

* {{Vandal|0sipconinstrument}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:01, 24 December 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 13:40, 24 December 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-12-28, 10:48 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-43194-97}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:12, 28 December 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} by global sysop. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 11:19, 28 December 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2025-12-29, 22:47 ==

* {{Vandal|~2025-43806-18}}

Vandalism. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 22:47, 29 December 2025 (UTC)
: {{done}}. [[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]]) 23:34, 29 December 2025 (UTC)
== New report 2026-01-1, 12:47 ==

* {{Vandal|Jeff32144}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:09, 1 January 2026 (UTC)
: Blocked by UDScott. [[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]]) 21:28, 1 January 2026 (UTC)

== New report 2026-01-1, 13:09 ==

* {{Vandal|Jeck321}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:16, 1 January 2026 (UTC)
: Blocked by UDScott. [[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]]) 21:29, 1 January 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-01-3, 08:35 ==

* {{Vandal|Stephen Ho 7}}

Vandalism, [[Special:Log/Stephen_Ho_7]], [[Special:Contributions/~2026-17814]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 08:37, 3 January 2026 (UTC)

:Blocked by Kalki. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 05:04, 4 January 2026 (UTC)

== New report 2026-01-4, 04:46 ==

* {{Vandal|TidesAreRisin}}

Long-term abuse. [[Special:CentralAuth/The_Doors_Jim_Morrison_Jr]], [[Special:CentralAuth/Jim_Morrison_II]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 04:48, 4 January 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 05:07, 4 January 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-01-6, 22:31 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-12186-1}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 22:32, 6 January 2026 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:54, 6 January 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-01-7, 17:27 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-14142-0}}

Vandalism. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 17:26, 7 January 2026 (UTC)
:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 17:51, 7 January 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-01-9, 12:10 ==

* {{Vandal|Gylawetudenipl12}}

Long-term abuse. Cross-wiki Spam. [[Special:CentralAuth/AmitMeena0000]], [[Special:Contributions/Babaf95832]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:01, 9 January 2026 (UTC)

:Globally locked. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 05:49, 11 January 2026 (UTC)

== New report 2026-01-10, 21:54 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-14254-3}}

Every change they had made to WQ has been rolled back. They are all vandalism. [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 22:10, 10 January 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 05:48, 11 January 2026 (UTC)

== New report 2026-01-11, 02:38 ==

* {{Vandal|Bsndjfjsnskrty}}

Long-term abuse. [[Special:CentralAuth/Amitmeena7777]], Recreated [[Aman Meena]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 03:36, 11 January 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 05:48, 11 January 2026 (UTC)

== New report 2026-01-11, 05:49 ==

* {{Vandal|Sjjdiftjeuewwuwddd}}

Long-term abuse. [[Special:CentralAuth/Amitmeena7777]], created [[Technical 01]] used by [[Aman Meena]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 06:38, 11 January 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 08:03, 11 January 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-01-12, 01:02 ==

* {{Vandal|Tahbibmahmud}}

Long-term abuse. [[:w:Wikipedia:Sockpuppet investigations/Bet365aminul]], Recreated [[Ariyan Mehedi]], [[:w:en:Ariyan Mehedi]], [[:w:simple:Ariyan Mehedi]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 01:38, 12 January 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 04:41, 12 January 2026 (UTC)

== New report 2026-01-12, 07:31 ==

* {{Vandal|Hdapatna345}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 07:32, 12 January 2026 (UTC)

:{{done}}. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 08:05, 12 January 2026 (UTC)

== New report 2026-01-12, 07:54 ==

* {{Vandal|Katerichards1607}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 07:54, 12 January 2026 (UTC)

:{{done}}. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 08:04, 12 January 2026 (UTC)

== New report 2026-01-12, 08:05 ==

* {{Vandal|Ytgb5}}

Long-term abuse. [[Special:CentralAuth/Laxmi_Narayan_Maharana]]. Created [[Laxmi Narayan Maharana]], [[:w:en:Laxmi Narayan Maharana]], [[:w:simple:Laxmi Narayan Maharana]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 08:43, 12 January 2026 (UTC)

:{{done}}. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 12:08, 12 January 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-01-12, 21:47 ==

* {{Vandal|Moonschein07}}

Clearly only here to vandalize and not to build. [[User:03isrflo62410|03isrflo62410]] ([[User talk:03isrflo62410|talk]]) 21:48, 12 January 2026 (UTC)

:{{done}} by global sysop SHB2000. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 01:13, 13 January 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-01-13, 17:14 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-27365-4}}

Vandalism. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 17:14, 13 January 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} by Codename Noreste. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 17:36, 13 January 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-01-14, 20:47 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-30429-2}}
* {{Vandal|~2026-30143-3}}

LTA. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 20:47, 14 January 2026 (UTC)

:{{done}}. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 21:25, 14 January 2026 (UTC)

== New report 2026-01-15, 12:56 ==

* {{Vandal|Vinkion}}

Long-term abuse. [[Special:CentralAuth/Blirth]], [[Special:CentralAuth/AyanJohn]], [[Special:CentralAuth/SaifFullah]], Recreated [[Umar Jaum]], [[:w:en:Umar Jaum]], [[:w:simple:Umar Jaum]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:57, 15 January 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 13:05, 15 January 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-01-15, 13:05 ==

* {{Vandal|Zenithsttudyabroad}}

spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 14:03, 15 January 2026 (UTC)
:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 15:57, 15 January 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-01-17, 03:39 ==

* {{Vandal|Sccdggvdvkkrjjerfbvdcd}}

Long-term abuse. [[Special:CentralAuth/Sjjdiftjeuewwuwddd]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 03:52, 17 January 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 05:09, 17 January 2026 (UTC)

== New report 2026-01-17, 05:09 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-35659-4}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 05:59, 17 January 2026 (UTC)

:{{done}}. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 06:46, 17 January 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-01-18, 11:12 ==

* {{Vandal|Btbthhwvefjgtktjheeh}}

Spam, [[Special:Contributions/Sjjdiftjeuewwuwddd]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:13, 18 January 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 11:38, 18 January 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-01-18, 21:03 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-38539-8}}

Vandalism. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 21:03, 18 January 2026 (UTC)

:{{done|Blocked}} by Tanbiruzzaman. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 22:37, 18 January 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-01-23, 12:50 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-50327-5}}
* {{Vandal|~2026-50881-1}}
* {{Vandal|PbFwun}}

Long-term abuse, created page [[Realjjfrosh]] ([[:w:en:Realjjfrosh]], [[:w:simple:Realjjfrosh]], [[:w:en:Wikipedia:Sockpuppet investigations/Realjjfrosh]]) [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:30, 23 January 2026 (UTC)

:{{done|Page deleted}}. If any of these accounts attempt to create the page again, a block will be possible. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 01:23, 24 January 2026 (UTC)

== New report 2026-01-23, 23:45 ==

* {{Vandal|Deas-Fafa}}

Vandalism; see the page history for [[KPop Demon Hunters]] and [[Family Guy]]. [[User:03isrflo62410|03isrflo62410]] ([[User talk:03isrflo62410|talk]]) 23:45, 23 January 2026 (UTC)

:{{done}}. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 01:20, 24 January 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-01-27, 12:45 ==

* {{Vandal|Leatherchapo1}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:45, 27 January 2026 (UTC)

:{{done}} by Saroj. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 13:16, 27 January 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-01-27, 22:53 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-54571-5}}

Vandalism. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 22:53, 28 January 2026 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 23:59, 28 January 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-01-30, 13:56 ==

* [[Special:Redirect/logid/3644151]]
[[Wikiquote:Username_policy#Inappropriate_usernames]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:57, 30 January 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-01-30, 12:36 ==

* {{Vandal|Jontyx191}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:36, 30 January 2026 (UTC)

:Globally locked. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 15:57, 30 January 2026 (UTC)

== New report 2026-01-31, 11:45 ==

* {{Vandal|Constructxpert}}

Cross-wiki spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:45, 31 January 2026 (UTC)

:Globally locked. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 13:25, 31 January 2026 (UTC)

== New report 2026-01-31, 11:45 ==

* {{Vandal|Planit5}}

Cross-wiki spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:50, 31 January 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 13:27, 31 January 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-02-01, 21:46 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-71678-9}}

Vandalism. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 21:46, 1 February 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 05:34, 2 February 2026 (UTC)

== New report 2026-02-1, 22:38 ==

* {{IPvandal|2026-71678-9}}

Vandalism. [[User:03isrflo62410|03isrflo62410]] ([[User talk:03isrflo62410|talk]]) 23:02, 1 February 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 05:35, 2 February 2026 (UTC)

== New report 2026-02-01, 23:15 ==

* {{Vandal|ReggieRedPanda}}

Vandalism. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 23:15, 1 February 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} by Kalki. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 05:44, 2 February 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-02-10, 00:33 ==

* {{Vandal|Splendasofficial}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 01:15, 10 February 2026 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 01:53, 10 February 2026 (UTC) blocked, deleted spam.
== New report 2026-02-11, 19:03 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-93068-5}}

Vandalism by replacing words with emojis, continued after warning. [[User:lp0 on fire|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#c56030;background:inherit;&quot;&gt;lp0&amp;nbsp;on&amp;nbsp;fire&lt;/span&gt;]]&amp;nbsp;[[User talk:lp0 on fire|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#64cea0;background:inherit&quot;&gt;()&lt;/span&gt;]] 19:04, 11 February 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 19:08, 11 February 2026 (UTC)
::@[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] For inof: The \64 range block expired yesterday.I have blocked the range again. [[User:WikiBayer|WikiBayer]] ([[User talk:WikiBayer|talk]]) 19:11, 11 February 2026 (UTC)
:::Thanks, WikiBayer. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 19:14, 11 February 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-02-13, 13:21 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-97201-6}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:22, 13 February 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} for 1 week. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 13:54, 13 February 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-02-14, 07:39 ==

* {{Vandal|Govariabletechai}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 07:39, 14 February 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 08:01, 14 February 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-02-15, 08:06 ==

* {{IPvandal|~2026-10157-68}}

Vandalism, [[Special:Contributions/~2026-97201-6]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 08:36, 15 February 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely; /64 range also blocked. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 10:00, 15 February 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-02-16, 16:27 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-10523-70}}

Vandalism. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 16:27, 16 February 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 17:34, 16 February 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-02-17, 18:03 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-10693-96}}

Vandalism. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 18:03, 17 February 2026 (UTC)

:{{done}}. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 18:05, 17 February 2026 (UTC)
::Thanks for handling this. I've also blocked the IP for 3 months, as it was the same user reported above. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 18:12, 17 February 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-02-20, 14:19 ==

* {{Vandal|Tanishalux}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 14:21, 20 February 2026 (UTC)
:{{done}} - deleted and blocked. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 14:30, 20 February 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-02-20, 14:03 ==

* {{Vandal|Digitalitstore}}

[[Wikiquote:Username_policy#Inappropriate_usernames]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 14:03, 20 February 2026 (UTC)
:{{Done}} (by someone else) - deleted and blocked. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 15:27, 20 February 2026 (UTC)

== New report 2026-02-20, 14:03 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-11450-48}}

Vandalism, [[Special:Contributions/~2026-77860-7]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 14:19, 20 February 2026 (UTC)
:{{done}} - deleted and blocked. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 14:27, 20 February 2026 (UTC)
::I went ahead and blocked the underlying /24 range. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 16:05, 20 February 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-02-22, 09:23 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-11652-80}}

Please block the underlying /64 IP range of this user for several months (it's a /64 so only one device will be on it). It's long-term abuse from our resident extreme right-wing vandal (see [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard/Archive/041#2001:8003:DC14::/48: long-term abuse by antisemitic racist extreme right-wing vandal for six years]]). [[User:Graham87|Graham87]] ([[User talk:Graham87|talk]]) 10:26, 22 February 2026 (UTC)

:{{done}}. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 14:03, 22 February 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-02-22, 12:46 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-11769-06}}
* {{Vandal|HappyStephenUSA (Version 7)}}
Vandalism, Recreated [[Five Point Clientele]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:33, 22 February 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done}} [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 15:38, 22 February 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-02-23, 11:35 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-11989-11}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:35, 23 February 2026 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:20, 23 February 2026 (UTC)

== New report 2026-02-23, 12:14 ==

* {{Vandal|Apoorvkohli}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:52, 23 February 2026 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 17:20, 23 February 2026 (UTC)


== New report 2026-02-24, 03:21 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-12130-66}}

Vandalism. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 03:21, 24 February 2026 (UTC)

:{{done}} —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 03:28, 24 February 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-02-26, 13:46 ==

* {{Vandal|Kiel Bednar}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 14:42, 26 February 2026 (UTC)
:{{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 15:44, 26 February 2026 (UTC)

== New report 2026-02-27, 02:07 ==

* {{Vandal|Sommers The Holy Knight}}

Long-term abuse (Zjholder/Reversi). [[User:NX3710|NX3710]] ([[User talk:NX3710|talk]]) 02:15, 27 February 2026 (UTC)

:Nevermind, user is globally locked now. [[User:NX3710|NX3710]] ([[User talk:NX3710|talk]]) 03:37, 27 February 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-03-2, 12:50 ==

* {{Vandal|Eutechrecruit}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:20, 2 March 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 13:30, 2 March 2026 (UTC)

== New report 2026-03-2, 13:20 ==

* {{Vandal|Sicsallc}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:21, 2 March 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 13:30, 2 March 2026 (UTC)

== New report 2026-03-2, 13:21 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-13367-78}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:23, 2 March 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 13:30, 2 March 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-03-3, 16:21 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-13772-04}}

Vandalism. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 16:21, 3 March 2026 (UTC)

:{{done}}. User blocked and article protected for three months. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 16:38, 3 March 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-03-5, 13:16 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-14175-37}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:20, 5 March 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 13:43, 5 March 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-03-5, 18:28 ==

* {{Vandal|Rsfsdfd}}

Vandalism. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 18:28, 5 March 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 18:58, 5 March 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-03-7, 06:54 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-14650-58}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 07:22, 7 March 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 07:31, 7 March 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-03-9, 15:14 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-15017-41}}

LTA. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 15:14, 9 March 2026 (UTC)
: {{done}} ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 15:24, 9 March 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-03-8, 08:39 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-14739-24}}

Vandalism. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 09:01, 8 March 2026 (UTC)

:Blocked globally by a steward. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 21:38, 10 March 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-03-13, 20:51 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-16223-35}}

Vandalism. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 20:51, 13 March 2026 (UTC)

:{{done}}. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 01:32, 14 March 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-03-18, 12:07 ==

* {{Vandal|Michealikwi}}

Long-term abuse. [[Special:CentralAuth/Realjjfrosh]]. Recreated [[Realjjfrosh]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:47, 18 March 2026 (UTC)

:Already globally locked by Barras. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 13:54, 18 March 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-03-19, 11:28 ==

* {{Vandal|Akshaysharmaavs}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:28, 19 March 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 13:31, 19 March 2026 (UTC)

== New report 2026-03-19, 11:28 ==

* {{Vandal|IBlogFlare}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 11:30, 19 March 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} by UDScott. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 13:32, 19 March 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-03-20, 01:19 ==

* {{Vandal|Edwin Cole Lee ecll}}

Long-term abuse, [[Special:Contributions/Edwin_ColeLee987654]]. Recreated [[Edwin Cole Lee]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 02:14, 20 March 2026 (UTC)

:Account is globally locked. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 06:27, 20 March 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-03-21, 07:17 ==

* {{Vandal|AlMuqarramIndustry}}

[[Wikiquote:Username_policy#Inappropriate_usernames]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 07:18, 21 March 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 07:56, 21 March 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-03-23, 18:51 ==

* {{Vandal|韓英雄戴上蘋果手錶來攻打台灣}}

Vandalism. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 18:52, 23 March 2026 (UTC)

:{{done}} by GreenMeansGo. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 22:01, 23 March 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-03-26 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-18366-74}} 

Epstein abuse. [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 20:46, 26 March 2026 (UTC)

:{{done}}. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 00:24, 27 March 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-03-29, 12:33 ==

* {{Vandal|Hollandadvocaten01}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:33, 29 March 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 12:35, 29 March 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-03-31, 12:37 ==

* {{Vandal|Ali raza 41306}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:38, 31 March 2026 (UTC)

:{{done}} by UDScott. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 12:48, 31 March 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-03-31, 12:48 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-14588-11}}

Temp address who has done some pretty suspecious edits: take [[Special:Diff/3906458|this]] edit on My Little Pony: Equestria Girls for one, with a scene that doesn't exist in the original (evident because of the swearing which isn't in the film proper). There's also [[Special:Diff/3922034|this]] edit on the Total Drama page featuring two deleted scenes which don't exist at all (and feature characters who AREN'T from Total Drama). [[Special:Diff/3472605|A similar edit]] was done a couple years back on the Total Drama Action page, featuring the same selection of characters (and whoever &quot;1Smash18&quot; is), so it's obvious this person is SoulEaterFan (some edit summaries insist that &quot;SoulEaterFan doesn't exist&quot;, but evidence suggests otherwise.  [[User:03isrflo62410|03isrflo62410]] ([[User talk:03isrflo62410|talk]]) 13:24, 31 March 2026 (UTC)
: I blocked the underlying range. Thanks. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 04:02, 6 April 2026 (UTC)

== New report 2026-03-31, 13:24 ==

* {{Vandal|Petrowien}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:36, 31 March 2026 (UTC)
: Page deleted by GreenMeansGo. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 04:00, 6 April 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-04-6, 20:28 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-21266-04}}

A lot of vandalism especially on talk pages. --[[User:Ferien|Ferien]] &lt;small&gt;([[User talk:Ferien|talk]])&lt;/small&gt; 21:03, 6 April 2026 (UTC)
: I've blocked them from the article and talk namespaces for a month. If needed, it can be expanded to a site-wide block. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 23:41, 6 April 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-04-13, 00:14 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-21744-59}}

IP address showing similar behavior to Evilasio da Paz (SoulEaterFan). Targeted two separate My Little Pony pages; [[Special:Diff/3927068|one such edit]] restored a number of quotes commonly added by SEF; [[Special:Diff/3926975|the other edit]] also added quotes commonly added by SEF. It also [[User talk:MilkyZap|accused a completely unrelated user of being SoulEaterFan]] even though the user it accused was only reverting the edit done by SoulEaterFan. [[User:03isrflo62410|03isrflo62410]] ([[User talk:03isrflo62410|talk]]) 00:19, 13 April 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 01:41, 13 April 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-04-13, 02:32 ==

* {{Vandal|MilkyZap}}

Sockpuppet of Evilasio da Paz/SoulEaterFan; confirmed through [[Special:Diff/3927612|this edit]] on the page documenting various socks and [[Special:Diff/3927604|this edit]] where it removed my report on ANOTHER SEF sock. [[User:03isrflo62410|03isrflo62410]] ([[User talk:03isrflo62410|talk]]) 02:34, 13 April 2026 (UTC)

:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 02:38, 13 April 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-04-6, 03:30 ==

* {{Vandal|~2026-20174-32}}

Please block the underlying IP of this user for several months (there shouldn't be too much collateral damage from blocking that one IP, but there's a rangeblock on it on the English Wikipedia). It's long-term abuse from our resident extreme right-wing vandal (see [[Wikiquote:Administrators' noticeboard/Archive/041#2001:8003:DC14::/48: long-term abuse by antisemitic racist extreme right-wing vandal for six years]]). Thanks. [[User:Graham87|Graham87]] ([[User talk:Graham87|talk]]) 03:48, 6 April 2026 (UTC)
: I blocked the underlying range. If you need me to adjust the block or the range, email me. Thanks. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 03:59, 6 April 2026 (UTC)
:: CC @[[User:Graham87|Graham87]] to my response above. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 14:56, 16 April 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-04-24, 12:41 ==

* {{Vandal|Adetoro muiz4}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 12:42, 24 April 2026 (UTC)
: {{done}}. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 13:09, 24 April 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-04-24, 12:54 ==

* {{Vandal|Toni Tagiam}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:02, 24 April 2026 (UTC)
: {{done|Globally locked}} by MarcGarver until 2027-04-24. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 16:01, 24 April 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-04-24, 15:11 ==

* {{Vandal|Owolabi Habeeb ola}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 15:18, 24 April 2026 (UTC)
: {{done}}. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 16:44, 26 April 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-05-6, 12:31 ==

* {{Vandal|Sdfclothing}}

[[Wikiquote:Username_policy#Inappropriate_usernames]]. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 13:29, 6 May 2026 (UTC)
: {{done}}, and their only article creation was speedily deleted. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 15:32, 7 May 2026 (UTC)
== New report 2026-05-11, 10:39 ==

* {{Vandal|Taskraja}}
* {{Vandal|Marinas94}}
* {{Vandal|Travelaa}}

Spam. [[User:MathXplore|MathXplore]] ([[User talk:MathXplore|talk]]) 10:39, 11 May 2026 (UTC)
:{{Done|Blocked}} indefinitely. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 13:07, 11 May 2026 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>t1vdj8ei08hvllizouxfbkbk0yfdhqm</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Tyla</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>288076</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943952</id>
      <parentid>3942912</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T14:12:02Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30662-95</username>
        <id>3326464</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Typography</comment>
      <origin>3943952</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="5064" sha1="juq62xipytiffojr2rgtdudtdqu789r" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Tyla Seethal 2022 a.png|thumb|Tyla Laura Seethal in 2026Yesterday at 13:36At South Africa, Durban in146 Wyebank road]]
'''[[w:Tyla|Tyla Laura Seethal]]''', mononymously known as '''Tyla''', (29 January 2000) is a South African singer and songwriter. Her musical style is characterised by a fusion of [[w:Pop music|pop]] and [[w:amapiano|amapiano]], with many publications dubbing her &quot;[[w:Honorific nicknames in popular music|Queen of Popiano]]&quot;.Tyla Laura Seethal known in our hearts forever is an inspiration to young children and is committed and dedicated to be an inspirational and unique singer who shares her passion to the world. Tyla is friends with Olivia Dean, Kira Kosarin, Zara Larsson and Peyton list. She won 2 Grammy awards, 5 EGOT, 3 Tony, and 4 Oscar from her Netflix show or movie, A Nonsense Christmas with Sabrina Carpenter. She is a well trained martial arts and Taekwondo expert. Tyla is also friend's with Katseye girls and Stray kids boys. Her best friend is the one and only Billie Ellish.       

== Tyla's commitment ==
* I’ve just become someone who has a whole different level of pride for my home and where I come from. I'm proud to be a native South African person and citizen of a wonderful country. 
* I grew up with a love for all types of sounds and never wanted to be tied down to one. Music was my personal favorite and my commitment
* I want to become the new reference and the start of something new.
* When I was small, I was convinced that I was the best dancer. I never had dance classes but I would always try out all different forms of dance, from belly dancing to krumping, and now amapiano type dancing. I’m still learning but my love for dancing runs deep.
* I wanna eventually buy my parents their dream home and make sure they don’t need to work another day in their life.
** Dunn, Frankie (3 April 2021). [https://i-d.co/article/south-africa-popstar-tyla-getting-late-interview/ &quot;Tyla is on a mission to become South Africa's biggest popstar&quot;]. ''i-D''. Vice.
* I would tell everybody that I was going to be a pop star. My parents hoped I would grow out of it, but I never did. No matter who asked me what I wanted to be, I’d always say singer. My answer never changed.
* I’m very determined. Tyla adds of her desire for further international success. If I want something, I make sure I get it. There’s a point where things become hard and you wonder if it’s going to work. But I always knew that things were going to work out eventually.
* I always know what I want and I trust [myself]. I also love collaborating and sharing other people’s ideas because everybody has something different. You never know, because initially with ‘Been Thinking’ it was a bit further into pop than I was used to, but I warmed up to it and recorded everything and it was great. That’s happened a lot where I’ve been worried or questioning certain things, but once I’ve done it I’ve ended up liking it, so I’m open to learning.
* I love it — it’s what I wanted. I’m super-proud of myself. I know this is the time when I’m just starting, but I know that it’s also the time when I have to really work because I want to make my home proud. It’s a lot to put on your shoulders, but that’s what I want. I really want eyes on all African artists in general, because we need more attention.
** Campbell, Erica (8 March 2023). [https://www.nme.com/features/music-interviews/tyla-amapiano-south-africa-been-thinking-getting-late-radar-3408832 &quot;Tyla: &quot;I really want eyes on all African artists, because we need more attention&quot;&quot;]. NME.
* I have always been a big dreamer, but obviously my parents and family will tell me to be realistic. It’s very rare that we get these opportunities in SA. Growing up, I used to watch a lot of Michael Jackson and Rihanna concerts; I loved it and wanted to do that. We are very close as a family and they are so proud, they get excited and it’s a whole celebration.
** Tjiya, Emmanuel (9 June 2023). [https://www.sowetan.co.za/s-mag/fashion-beauty/2023-06-09-tyla-the-girl-next-door/ &quot;Tyla: The girl next door&quot;]. ''The Sowetan''.
* They didn’t want me to be disappointed if things didn’t go my way. But I was so adamant. I was going to make it happen no matter what.
** Fetto, Funmi (18 February 2025). [https://www.vogue.co.uk/article/tyla-british-vogue-interview &quot;“I Know I Can Do It All”: How South African Sensation Tyla Brought The World To Its Feet&quot;]. British ''Vogue''.
** Diamond 14# (19 May 2026) . &quot; Tyla is waiting to get attention and power to control the music industry and the world one day &quot;. South African girlie

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:2002 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Women from South Africa]]
[[Category:Pop singers]]
[[Category:Grammy Award winners]]
[[Category:Singer-songwriters from South Africa]]
[[Category:Women singers]]
[[Category:Women songwriters]]
[[Category:Women born in the 2000s]]
[[Category:MTV Europe Music Award winners]]
[[Category:MTV Video Music Award winners]]</text>
      <sha1>juq62xipytiffojr2rgtdudtdqu789r</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Jessica Horn</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>288180</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943935</id>
      <parentid>3916316</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:53:45Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>removed [[Category:Women authors]]; added [[Category:Women authors from Uganda]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <origin>3943935</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="5323" sha1="scpmc24rxjim9x3bbjhmbg44a63i984" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Jessica Horn 2.jpg|thumb|Jessica Horn]]
'''[[w:Jessica Horn|Jessica Horn]]''' (born 1979) is a feminist activist, writer, poet, and an advisor on [[women's rights]] with [[Uganda|Ugandan]] and Malian background. Her work focuses on women's rights, bodily autonomy and freedom from violence, and African [[Feminism|feminist]] movement building. She is also a leader in [[philanthropy]]. Jessica Horn was named as an African woman changemaker by ''ARISE'' Magazine and as one of Applause Africa's &quot;40 African Changemakers under 40&quot;. She joined the [https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/African_Women%27s_Development_Fund African Women's Development Fund] as director of programmes in October 2015. In 2021 she was appointed Regional Director of the Ford Foundation's East Africa office based in Nairobi, the first African woman to hold this position since the office opened in 1963.

== Quotes ==
* As a feminist I understand the necessity and beauty of women’s struggle for autonomy and choice, and the need to transform society for the benefit of all people. And I am re-born as a feminist every time I see a woman or girl resist social limitations and master the art of spreading her wings.
** [https://www.africanfeministforum.com/feminist-charter-introduction/ Jessica Horn Individual African feminists],2016 African Feminist Forum,by Lulu Kitololo Studio

=== &quot;The Power of Pan-African Feminism: A Conversation with Jessica Horn&quot; (2019) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[https://www.blackwomenradicals.com/blog-feed/the-power-of-pan-african-feminism-a-conversation-with-jessica-horn &quot;The Power of Pan-African Feminism: A Conversation with Jessica Horn&quot;], Copyright 2019,By Jaimee A. Swift&lt;/small&gt;

* It is because of this reality that for every Amílcar Cabral and Thomas Sankara, you also have a Freedom Nyamubaya. There have always been women who have really shaped ideology and who were also brave in shaping their praxis. It is really about patriarchal memory.
* I also think about how important it is for people who have children and are around children for us to expand on our radical politics with our children because that is what framed us. If we want that legacy of radical politics to continue, it is really vital that we keep working on it with the next generation. It is important if we are going to build this movement. We have to start with the babies
* It is interesting because African women are at the heart of radical movement building, particularly African feminists who have been core allies in all  the struggles that shaped the past couple of decades. African women were central to liberation movements but it is about who writes those histories and who is interested in those stories. Some African women were spectacularly erased because they were vocal and public. There is erasure because of neoliberalism and economic status because women are the most marginalized in these structures. African women are actually the majority food producers of the continent but it is in smallholder farming and it is not protected. The reason why African women are not centered is because of patriarchy and it is a preference for thinking or presuming that men are the shapers of history. When things are documented, they are not documented in the way that tells that story. I spent a lot of time in African feminist space trying to uncover those histories. I have been quite obsessed in regards to documentation and getting those names out there.
* There is also language. So much happens in English. I think we need to put more intention in language and support translation and engaging each other and reaching out across the language divide. I do understand that sometimes one’s local struggles are so big that it prevents one from being able to reach out beyond one’s local space. However, I also think it is inspiring to get a sense of how different people have done different things. Heritage-wise, we come from so many different places and we have migrated from so many different areas. It is important we learn from each other across the oceans of Black existence. We are linked
* Some of the things we see now that are a part of the methodology of feminist care, African women were already doing. They also imagined care in ways that were accessible because a lot of well-being discourse is really elite and it requires access to services that most people don’t have or cannot afford. It is important to look at those models of collective care, which are really about community and tapping into resources that are available to us
* We came to the realization that what traumatizes us is not an individual experience of exposure to one violent act: it is living in environments that deny you your basic dignity.
* A radical approach is a willingness to stay learning because you really have to be humble. You really have to commit to going to the root. You also have to stand up and be counted when it matters

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Horn, Jessica}}
[[Category:Feminists]]
[[Category:Poets from Uganda]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from Uganda]]
[[Category:Philanthropists]]
[[Category:Women's rights activists]]
[[Category:Women authors from Uganda]]
[[Category:Women activists from Uganda]]
[[Category:1979 births]]
[[Category:Women born in the 1970s]]
[[Category:Living people]]</text>
      <sha1>scpmc24rxjim9x3bbjhmbg44a63i984</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Senedu Gebru</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>288249</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943904</id>
      <parentid>3865117</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:42:36Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>−[[Category:Authors from Ethiopia]]; ± 2 categories using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <origin>3943904</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1704" sha1="qkuoiooocmvwq2f8atb5oa8vphnnpj6" xml:space="preserve">'''[[wikipedia:Senedu_Gebru|Senedu Gebru]]''' ([[wikipedia:Amharic|Amharic:]] ሰንዱ ገብሩ; 13 January 1916 – 20 April 2009) was an Ethiopian educator, writer and politician. In 1957, she became the first Ethiopian woman elected to Parliament.

== Quotes ==

* It may be that the issues I have raised today as the lone woman here, have been defeated.  But one day there shall be many of us standing here and you will listen to our voices then!
** [https://horizonethiopia.net/2012/03/07/your-star-shall-yet-shine-again/ Your Star Shall Yet Shine Again] Retrieved 2 April 2025

== Quotes about Senedu Gebru ==

* History may remember the late Honorable Dr. Senedu Gebru foremost as the first woman elected to Parliament, but her contributions to this nation were so many and varied, she could rightly be considered Ethiopia’s Renaissance Woman of the 20th century.
* Senedu Gebru was known as a strict disciplinarian and fierce advocate of women’s rights. 
* She may not have been Ethiopia’s first feminist in a sense but she certainly gave voice to the women of Ethiopia like they had never had before. 
* Throughout most of her life, Senedu had always been an avid reader.
* Senedu’s ascent to Parliament can rightly be considered one of her more extraordinary accomplishments. 
** [https://horizonethiopia.net/2012/03/07/your-star-shall-yet-shine-again/ Your Star Shall Yet Shine Again] Retrieved 2 April 2025

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Gebru, Senedu}}
[[Category:Women politicians in Ethiopia]]
[[Category:Educators from Ethiopia]]
[[Category:Women authors from Ethiopia]]
[[Category:1916 births]]
[[Category:2009 deaths]]
[[Category:Women born in the 1910s]]</text>
      <sha1>qkuoiooocmvwq2f8atb5oa8vphnnpj6</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Gisèle Hountondji</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>288649</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943937</id>
      <parentid>3699920</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:54:25Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>−[[Category:Women from Benin]]; −[[Category:Authors from Benin]]; ±[[Category:Women authors]]→[[Category:Women authors from Benin]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <origin>3943937</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="2292" sha1="g26rbby02bac5ia7nig67tvtajzaqin" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Gisèle Hountondji|Gisèle Hountondji]]''' (born 1954) is a writer, interpreter, and translator from Benin. She is considered the first Beninese woman writer. Her 1986 autobiographical novel Une citronnelle dans la neige (Lemongrass in the Snow) recounts her often painful years as a student in Europe, particularly in Paris.

== Quotes ==
* My book focuses on racism, a subject that concerns both women and men. It is aimed at a broader audience than just women. The injustices suffered by women may be partly the subject of my next work.But I think that rather than complaining, women would do better to learn how to defend themselves effectively, and for that, they need to study and better understand men, their weaknesses, their aspirations—in short, what goes on in men's heads.
* Racism is not inevitable. One only has to take the case of the United States of America, the history of this country, the Civil War, the abolition of slavery... The case of the United States is very significant for the history of racism and racial segregation. Martin Luther King fought and many other Black people still do...The Kuklux Klan existed and still exists, but over the years, it is losing ground although some Black Americans continue to be victims of racism. The struggle continues. We have known Black American ambassadors...For me, all this symbolizes in some way the decline of racism, a little more than just a glimmer of hope. Who knows how long it will take for South Africa to resemble New York where today, Whites and Blacks rub shoulders, mixing indifferently?.
* As a feminist, I am not gentle with women who rely on a man to make them happy. I am talking about those, illiterate or not, who take their body for a commodity to be sold and naturally do not stop powdering and dusting their body so that the commodity is presentable to the man who wants to attribute some value to it and buy it.
**[https://aflit.arts.uwa.edu.au/AMINAHountondji.html Interview with Gisèle Hountondji conducted by Philippe Hado and published in Amina in November 1986]

== External links==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Hountondji, Gisèle}}
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Women authors from Benin]]
[[Category:Translators]]
[[Category:1954 births]]
[[Category:Women born in the 1950s]]</text>
      <sha1>g26rbby02bac5ia7nig67tvtajzaqin</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Anna Maria Hall</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>289396</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943921</id>
      <parentid>3705802</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:49:00Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>−[[Category:Women from Ireland]]; ±[[Category:Women authors]]→[[Category:Women authors from Ireland]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <origin>3943921</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="2506" sha1="6rbs018vsux5nizm4d4qriq06awp8w3" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Anna-Maria-Hall.JPG|thumb|The love of ornament creeps slowly, but surely, into the female heart; the girl who twines the lily in her tresses, and looks at herself in the clear stream, will soon wish that the lily was fadeless, and the stream a mirror.]]
'''[[w:Anna Maria Hall|Anna Maria Hall]]''' (née '''Fielding'''; [[6 January]] 1800 – [[30 January]] 1881) was an Irish novelist who often published as '''&quot;Mrs. S. C. Hall&quot;'''. She married [[Samuel Carter Hall]], a writer on art, who described her in ''Retrospect of a Long Life, from 1815 to 1883''. She was in Dublin, but left Ireland for England at the age of 15.

== Quotes ==

* Alas! how truly did he tell her, that the love of ornament creeps slowly, but surely, into the [[woman|female]] heart;—that the girl who twines the [[lily]] in her tresses, and looks at herself in the clear stream, will soon wish that the lily was fadeless, and the stream a [[mirror]].
** &quot;The Rose of Fennock Dale&quot;, in S. C. Hall (ed.) [https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=iau.31858036681447&amp;seq=16 ''The Amulet, or Christian and Literary Remembrancer''] (London, 1829), p. 204

{{Misattributed begin}}

=== Misattributed ===

* Beauty depends more upon the movement of the face than upon the form of the features when at rest. Thus a countenance habitually under the influence of amiable feelings acquires a beauty of the highest order, from the frequency with which such feelings are the originating causes of the movement or expressions which stamp their character upon it. 
** Attributed to &quot;Mrs. S. C. Hall&quot; in [[w:Maturin Murray Ballou|M. M. Ballou]] (ed.) [https://archive.org/details/treasuryofthough00ball/page/164/mode/2up?q=%22expressions+which+stamp+their%22 ''Treasury of Thought''], 7th ed. (Boston, 1881), p. 164. Actually by [[Sarah Stickney Ellis]], [https://archive.org/details/daughtersofengla00elliuoft/page/174/mode/2up?q=%22expressions+which+stamp+their%22 ''The Daughters of England''] (London and Paris, [1842]), p. 174

{{Misattributed end}}

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
* M. M. Ballou (ed.) [https://archive.org/details/notablethoughts00ballgoog/page/n254/mode/2up?q=%22S.+C.+Hall%22 ''Notable Thoughts about Women: A Literary Mosaic''] (Boston, [1882]), pp. 241, 288

{{DEFAULTSORT:Hall, Anna Maria}}
[[Category:1800 births]]
[[Category:1881 deaths]]
[[Category:Novelists from Ireland]]
[[Category:Novelists from the United Kingdom]]
[[Category:Women authors from Ireland]]
[[Category:Women born in the 19th century]]</text>
      <sha1>6rbs018vsux5nizm4d4qriq06awp8w3</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943922</id>
      <parentid>3943921</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:49:45Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>−[[Category:Novelists from the United Kingdom]]; +[[Category:Children's authors]]; +[[Category:Victorian novelists]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <origin>3943922</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="2524" sha1="l6kdjdcuva451hjw2sd8jhukphme4i7" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Anna-Maria-Hall.JPG|thumb|The love of ornament creeps slowly, but surely, into the female heart; the girl who twines the lily in her tresses, and looks at herself in the clear stream, will soon wish that the lily was fadeless, and the stream a mirror.]]
'''[[w:Anna Maria Hall|Anna Maria Hall]]''' (née '''Fielding'''; [[6 January]] 1800 – [[30 January]] 1881) was an Irish novelist who often published as '''&quot;Mrs. S. C. Hall&quot;'''. She married [[Samuel Carter Hall]], a writer on art, who described her in ''Retrospect of a Long Life, from 1815 to 1883''. She was in Dublin, but left Ireland for England at the age of 15.

== Quotes ==

* Alas! how truly did he tell her, that the love of ornament creeps slowly, but surely, into the [[woman|female]] heart;—that the girl who twines the [[lily]] in her tresses, and looks at herself in the clear stream, will soon wish that the lily was fadeless, and the stream a [[mirror]].
** &quot;The Rose of Fennock Dale&quot;, in S. C. Hall (ed.) [https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=iau.31858036681447&amp;seq=16 ''The Amulet, or Christian and Literary Remembrancer''] (London, 1829), p. 204

{{Misattributed begin}}

=== Misattributed ===

* Beauty depends more upon the movement of the face than upon the form of the features when at rest. Thus a countenance habitually under the influence of amiable feelings acquires a beauty of the highest order, from the frequency with which such feelings are the originating causes of the movement or expressions which stamp their character upon it. 
** Attributed to &quot;Mrs. S. C. Hall&quot; in [[w:Maturin Murray Ballou|M. M. Ballou]] (ed.) [https://archive.org/details/treasuryofthough00ball/page/164/mode/2up?q=%22expressions+which+stamp+their%22 ''Treasury of Thought''], 7th ed. (Boston, 1881), p. 164. Actually by [[Sarah Stickney Ellis]], [https://archive.org/details/daughtersofengla00elliuoft/page/174/mode/2up?q=%22expressions+which+stamp+their%22 ''The Daughters of England''] (London and Paris, [1842]), p. 174

{{Misattributed end}}

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
* M. M. Ballou (ed.) [https://archive.org/details/notablethoughts00ballgoog/page/n254/mode/2up?q=%22S.+C.+Hall%22 ''Notable Thoughts about Women: A Literary Mosaic''] (Boston, [1882]), pp. 241, 288

{{DEFAULTSORT:Hall, Anna Maria}}
[[Category:1800 births]]
[[Category:1881 deaths]]
[[Category:Novelists from Ireland]]
[[Category:Women authors from Ireland]]
[[Category:Women born in the 19th century]]
[[Category:Children's authors]]
[[Category:Victorian novelists]]</text>
      <sha1>l6kdjdcuva451hjw2sd8jhukphme4i7</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943923</id>
      <parentid>3943922</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:50:22Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>+[[Category:Non-fiction authors from Ireland]]; +[[Category:People from Dublin]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <origin>3943923</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="2602" sha1="qc13ou9zkmefuls7jx65wnqkuf9t8zz" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Anna-Maria-Hall.JPG|thumb|The love of ornament creeps slowly, but surely, into the female heart; the girl who twines the lily in her tresses, and looks at herself in the clear stream, will soon wish that the lily was fadeless, and the stream a mirror.]]
'''[[w:Anna Maria Hall|Anna Maria Hall]]''' (née '''Fielding'''; [[6 January]] 1800 – [[30 January]] 1881) was an Irish novelist who often published as '''&quot;Mrs. S. C. Hall&quot;'''. She married [[Samuel Carter Hall]], a writer on art, who described her in ''Retrospect of a Long Life, from 1815 to 1883''. She was in Dublin, but left Ireland for England at the age of 15.

== Quotes ==

* Alas! how truly did he tell her, that the love of ornament creeps slowly, but surely, into the [[woman|female]] heart;—that the girl who twines the [[lily]] in her tresses, and looks at herself in the clear stream, will soon wish that the lily was fadeless, and the stream a [[mirror]].
** &quot;The Rose of Fennock Dale&quot;, in S. C. Hall (ed.) [https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=iau.31858036681447&amp;seq=16 ''The Amulet, or Christian and Literary Remembrancer''] (London, 1829), p. 204

{{Misattributed begin}}

=== Misattributed ===

* Beauty depends more upon the movement of the face than upon the form of the features when at rest. Thus a countenance habitually under the influence of amiable feelings acquires a beauty of the highest order, from the frequency with which such feelings are the originating causes of the movement or expressions which stamp their character upon it. 
** Attributed to &quot;Mrs. S. C. Hall&quot; in [[w:Maturin Murray Ballou|M. M. Ballou]] (ed.) [https://archive.org/details/treasuryofthough00ball/page/164/mode/2up?q=%22expressions+which+stamp+their%22 ''Treasury of Thought''], 7th ed. (Boston, 1881), p. 164. Actually by [[Sarah Stickney Ellis]], [https://archive.org/details/daughtersofengla00elliuoft/page/174/mode/2up?q=%22expressions+which+stamp+their%22 ''The Daughters of England''] (London and Paris, [1842]), p. 174

{{Misattributed end}}

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
* M. M. Ballou (ed.) [https://archive.org/details/notablethoughts00ballgoog/page/n254/mode/2up?q=%22S.+C.+Hall%22 ''Notable Thoughts about Women: A Literary Mosaic''] (Boston, [1882]), pp. 241, 288

{{DEFAULTSORT:Hall, Anna Maria}}
[[Category:1800 births]]
[[Category:1881 deaths]]
[[Category:Novelists from Ireland]]
[[Category:Women authors from Ireland]]
[[Category:Women born in the 19th century]]
[[Category:Children's authors]]
[[Category:Victorian novelists]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from Ireland]]
[[Category:People from Dublin]]</text>
      <sha1>qc13ou9zkmefuls7jx65wnqkuf9t8zz</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Mouna Hachim</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>289794</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943917</id>
      <parentid>3709059</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:47:37Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>−[[Category:Women from Morocco]]; ±[[Category:Women authors]]→[[Category:Women authors from Morocco]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <origin>3943917</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1997" sha1="lpxlxhlwqlnuu1l3ddo5177zebv8evk" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Hachimmouna.jpg|thumb|Mouna Hachim]]
'''[[w:Mouna Hachim|Mouna Hachim]]''' (born 24 October 1967) is a Moroccan [[writer]] and [[Journalism|journalist]]. She has published several novels and non-fiction books. She has also created documentaries.

== Quotes ==

* There are four main themes of discussion on this group: the management of rubbish and city cleanliness, public transportation, the use of public space, and security
* As this group has gained a wider following, it has resulted in some changes. Fairly often, someone will post something about a pile-up of rubbish in their neighbourhood. People start to comment on it and share it. Then, soon after, city workers come and deal with the issue
* Quite a few journalists follow our page so that brings some media attention to issues that affect a large number of Casablanca residents. Recently, for example, there were debates on the state of the beaches around Casablanca and the people who take over various sections and illegally force beachgoers to pay if they want to swim or sunbathe there
* We’ve also seen both municipal officials and those who work with the public transportation system release statements to respond to certain criticisms posted on the group. We think that is fairly brave of them. It is also a space to let people know what their friends and neighbours find inconsiderate behaviour, like parking a car on a pavement or blocking pedestrian crossings
* Aside from that, I really hope that this group can help people feel more tied to their city and to be more invested in caring for it
** [https://observers.france24.com/en/20180716-casablanca-residents-rubbish-pollution-cleanup Casablanca residents rally to save the city from rubbish],Issued on: 16/07/2018,Modified: 16/07/2018,By:Maëva Poulet

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Hachim, Mouna}}
[[Category:1967 births]]
[[Category:Women authors from Morocco]]
[[Category:Journalists from Morocco]]
[[Category:Women born in the 1960s]]</text>
      <sha1>lpxlxhlwqlnuu1l3ddo5177zebv8evk</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>The Ren &amp; Stimpy Show/Season 2</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>290313</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944101</id>
      <parentid>3935947</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T01:00:24Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Man's Best Friend */</comment>
      <origin>3944101</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="17927" sha1="bku3atcdpe84qdbm1ezcpdddq0j66sw" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
{{Ren &amp; Stimpy header}}
'''''[[w:The Ren &amp; Stimpy Show|The Ren &amp; Stimpy Show]]''''' is an American animated television series created by John Kricfalusi for '''''[[W:Nickelodeon|Nickelodeon]]'''''. The series follows the adventures of titular characters Ren, an emotionally unstable chihuahua, and Stimpy, a good-natured, dimwitted cat.

==Season 2==

===''Ren's Toothache'' [2.01a]===
:''[Ren's bad breath chases away flies from Stimpy's litter box]''
:'''Fly''': We're trying to eat here! And you stand here, airing out your stinky old gum holes! What are you trying to do, make us puke?

===''Rubber Nipple Salesmen'' [2.01b]===
:'''Ren''': You know Stimpy, with your invention and my savvy, we'll corner the rubber nipple market. We'll be millionaires! We'll rule the world!
:'''Stimpy''': Tsk Ren. I am not in this for financial gain. I have a dream. I believe one day that everyone everywhere... ''[cries as touching music plays]'' will know the wonders of my nipples!
:'''Ren''': ''[slams an iron onto Stimpy's face]'' Fine! You keep your dream and I'll keep the money! ''[pulls the iron out]'' Now shut up and drive!

===''Sven Höek'' [2.02]===
:'''Svën''': I'm looking for you now. I'm finding you.
:'''Stimpy''': I'm hiding in the closet like an idiot.

&lt;hr width=/50%&gt;
:'''Ren''': ''[returns home from work on a rainy day. He is shocked when he see's the house is a mess. He angrily growls]'' I knew it! Cat dirt everywhere! ''[starts to get more angry, but suddenly calms down]'' Well, at least I'm home. I can continue my intellectual pursuits! ''[He walks away, but then stops and is appalled at the sight of his opera records stuck to the wall]'' My opera records '''''COVERED IN BUBBLE GUM!!! AAAAAAH!!!''''' ''[sniffles a little, then turns around and notices several germs exiting open jars and squirming down the drain]'' MY COLLECTION OF RARE, INCURABLE ''DISEASES'' VIOLATED!!!  '''''NOOOOO!!!''''' ''[Sees his dinosaur droppings colored like Easter eggs]'' My dinosaur droppings painted like ''EASTER EGGS!'' ''[Stimpy and Svën cease playing when they hear Ren's outburst]'' '''''AAAAAH!!!''''' You '''''IDIOTS!''''' ''[Ren angrily stomps toward Stimpy and Svën, who back away several times until they hit a wall]'' YOU... ''BOTH OF YOU!'' ''[He starts shaking angrily, but then transitions to a kind of sadistic calmness]'' Oh, what I'm gonna do to you. ''[He starts shaking his fists, thinking of ways to hurt Stimpy and Svën, who are cowering together; slowly]'' I'm so angry! First, I'm gonna tear your lips out. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. And then, I'm gonna gouge your eyes out! Yeah, that's what ''I'm'' gonna do.
:'''Stimpy''': We don't like this, Ren!
:'''Svën''': Ja, you're scaring us!
:'''Ren''': Good. You're scared, huh? Next, I'm gonna '''TEAR''' your arms out of the sockets! ''[mimes ripping their arms out and the dislocated arm dangling. Stimpy and Svën whimper while rubbing their arms]'' And you wanna know what else? I'm gonna hit ya, and you're gonna fall... and I'm gonna look down... and ''I'm gonna laugh.'' ''[Stimpy and Sven both cry]'' But first... ''[Stimpy and Svën gasp]'' '''FIRST...''' ''[suddenly calm]'' I gotta take a whiz! Don't you go anywhere. ''[Points to the ground they're standing on]''  You stay right here... ''Right on this spot...'' I'll be back! ''[Ren stomps away, and over the Don't Whiz on the Electric Fence game before turning around and noticing it]'' What's this stupid thing?!
:'''Stimpy''': ''[cheerfully]'' It's a game, Ren!
:'''Svën''': Ja, it's really fun!
:'''Ren''': ''[takes a look at the game, then turns to Stimpy and Svën, then smiles evilly, coming up with an idea]'' Oh, you like this game?
:'''Stimpy''': Oh yeah, Ren!
:'''Svën''': We love it!
:'''Ren''': Oh, you like the game, huh? Do you ''really'' like it?
:'''Stimpy and Svën''': It's our favorite game in the whole world! 
:'''Ren''': Oh, you like the game, huh? Then how do you like ''this?!'' ''[produces a fly on his crotch and unzips it. Stimpy and Svën only look in horror as Ren whizzes all over the game. Ren looks at Stimpy and Svën giggling maniacally. Then the whole house explodes, sending the trio to Hell. The Devil appears]'' 
:'''The Devil''': So, you whizzed on the electric fence, did ya?
:'''Commercial Jingle''': Don't Whiz on the Electric Fence!

===''Haunted House'' [2.03a]===

===''Mad Dog Hoëk'' [2.03b]===

===''In the Army'' [2.04a]===
:'''Ren''': Hey Guido. It's all so clear to me now. I'm the keeper of the cheese, and you're the lemon merchant. You get it? And he knows it! That's why he's gonna kill us! So we gotta beat it. Yeah. Before he lets loose the marmosets on us! Don't worry little missy, I'll save you! 

===''Big House Blues'' [2.04b]===
:'''Stimpy''': What's the big sleep, Ren?
:'''Ren''': He's... ''[suddenly shouting]'' DEAD! DEAD, YOU IDIOT! YOU KNOW WHAT DEAD IS?! JUST LIKE WE'LL BE IF WE DON'T GET OUT OF HERE!

===''Big Baby Scam'' [2.05a]===

===''Dog Show'' [2.05b]===
:'''Mr. Horse''': Next!
:'''George Liquor''': HERE! Take a look at this!
:'''Mr. Horse''': ''[looks at Ren's eyes]'' Hmm... ''[the close-up of Ren's eyes is shown]'' Asthma Chihuahua, huh? Look at that. ''[Mr. Horse looks at Ren's ears, full of bugs]'' Well, this is representative of this sickness brain. Alright, he's in. ''[Mr. Horse puts Ren to the Final Contestants]''
:'''Ren''': Stimpy.
:'''Mr. Horse''': Hmm... ''[Mr. Horse looks at Stimpy's mouth]'' Never seen this breed before. ''[Mr. Horse looks at Stimpy's butt]'' Hmm... ''[Mr. Horse covers Stimpy]'' No sir, this butt's too smooth. Never heard of that. ''[Bulldog tries to open his mouth]''
:'''George Liquor''': TAKE A CLOSER LOOK, YOU MORON! DON'T YOU KNOW A CORNISH REX HOUND WHEN YOU SEE ONE?!
:'''Mr. Horse''': Maybe I won't!

===''Monkey See, Monkey Don't'' [2.06a]===

===''Powdered Toast Man'' [2.06b]===

===''Fake Dad'' [2.07a]===

===''Out West'' [2.07b]===
:'''Stimpy''': Hey Ren, he reminds me of your uncle Eddie.
:'''Ren''': Why's that?
:'''Stimpy''': 'Cause he's big and stinky!
:'''Ren''': ''[slaps him]'' Hey! You shouldn't say mean things like that. Did you ever consider that this horse might have feelings? Now let's steal that horse!
:''[Stimpy nods excitedly in agreement]''

===''Stimpy's Fan Club'' [2.08]===
:'''Stimpy''': You can be the President! Of my fan club!
:'''Ren''': President? Wow. President...
:''[Ren imagines himself being president]''
:'''Ren''': WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T AGREE WITH ME? DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH?! ''[presses on a button that destroys part of the globe and laughs maniacally]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Johnny''': Dear Stimpy, I have a... secret. I know I can tell you, because you are nice, and would not tell anybody. I'm afraid to tell my friends, because they'll laugh.
:'''Ren''': Aw.
:'''Johnny''': I know ''you'' would never laugh at me.
:'''Ren''': Mmm mmm.
:'''Johnny''': So... here's my secret. Every night... I wet the bed.
:''[Ren is aghast]''
:'''Johnny''': I can't help it! Please tell me what to do. Your friend, Johnny.
:''[Ren thinks for a while, then starts writing a response]''
:'''Ren''': Dear Johnny... You make me SICK! You probably wet the bed on purpose! I have written letters to everybody at your school warning them never to sleep over with you. Your friend...
:'''Stimpy''': ''[shocked]'' REN!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ren''': I... I was nice today. Nice to all those insipid little monkeys. Answering their stupid letters. ''[looks at his hands]'' My hands... DIRTY! ''[tries wiping his hands]'' The dirt won't come off! ''[screams]'' President... What a joke. President... President of WHAT?! ''[looks over to Stimpy sleeping]'' ''His'' fan club. How they love him. Look at him. Lying there asleep. ''[stands over Stimpy]'' The idol of millions. He's a fool. Blind, silly little fool... How easily I could end the farce. ''[holds up his hands]'' With ''these'' hands. These '''DIRTY''' hands... '''''And with these hands, I hold the fate of millions...''''' They think he's a god. But he's as mortal as we. I know. ''[visions a dotted line across Stimpy's neck]'' Just one quick... '''twist!''' ...and it's over. Just... one... ''[prepares to snap Stimpy's neck]'' Just... ''[a stinging pain strikes from inside his head; screams]'' It's happening AGAIN! My BRAIN! My hot... STINGING... '''BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIN!!!''' ''[screams]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mailman''': Mailman. Got some mail here! ''[Ren is revealed to be in a Robotic Stimpy]'' Ah, hello Mr. Cat. You're looking healthy this morning.
:'''Ren''': Shut up. duh, I don't want anymore of your filthy letters! Your services are not welcomed here, and, duh, tell those pesky kids to stop writing me, Stimpson J. Cat, duh.
:'''Mailman''': Um, Whatever you say. Actually, I only have one letter today and it's for Mr. Höek. I guess I'll just throw this one out.
:'''Ren''': GIVE ME THAT! ''[laughs evilly]'' Letter for me, letter for me! Nothing for Stimpy! No, no, no, Mr. Ren Höek! ''[laughs evilly]'' It says!
:'''Stimpy''': ''[wakes up]'' Aah, Good Morning Ren.
:'''Ren''': ''[screams]'' You, you and your fan mail! Mr. Fan Club! ''[He jumps out of robot]'' Everybody loves you, don't they?! Well guess what the Mailman bought you today...NOTHING! This letter's for me! See?! You they have forgotten?! Now it's me they love! It is I that is the most loved. I, who shall rule! OH YES! THIS IS THE PROOF! THIS IS THE PROOF THAT YOU...ARE...FINISHED! Listen! This one says: Dear Ren, it's me, it's me! You are my favorite TV star! Nobody, nobody but you is funny or smart as you. SEE? ARE YOU GETTING THIS?! I AM THE BEST! ''[echoing]'' I AM KING! Listen to this! You may learn something. I wish I could be just like you! How about THAT?! A man with some ambition. You are my favorite person in whole wide WORLD! HA! Love... it says love... Your pal... ''[surprised]'' Stimpy? Stimpy. I'm so ashamed.
:'''Stimpy''': I meant every word. ''[Ren begins to cry]'' There, there Ren. There, there!
:'''Ren''': Look at me. Big, mean Ren...crying like a baby. Pretty pathetic, huh?
:'''Stimpy''': Oh, pasha! No one will never know. You just cry your little eyes out.

===''The Great Outdoors'' [2.09a]===

===''The Cat That Laid the Golden Hairball'' [2.09b]===

===''A Visit to Anthony'' [2.10]===
:'''Anthony's dad''': ''[to Ren and Stimpy]'' Let's get something straight here. I don't like you. I don't like cartoons. You're here for one reason. My son, Anthony, likes you, and as long as you're good to my boy, you can stay. But if you do ''anything''... to destroy his beliefs, or harm him... in any way... ''[gets choked up]'' so help me... ''[crying]'' Excuse me. Don't you even put that picture in my head. Do we understand each other?
:'''Ren and Stimpy''': ''[in unison]'' We understand, very well.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Victor has knocked Anthony unconscious and Ren is trying to wake him up. Just then, Anthony's dad comes outside and sees what is happening; he mistakes Ren's attempts to save his son as an attack]''
:'''Anthony's dad''': ''[devastated]'' No... No...!
:'''Ren''': ''[desperate]'' Snap out of it, I tell you!
:'''Anthony's dad''': ''[approaches Ren]'' Get off. Get off my son.
:''[Ren complies]''
:'''Anthony's dad''': ''[crying]'' Oh... Oh, Anthony... My beloved child.
:''[Anthony's dad picks Anthony up and starts praying to God]''
:'''Anthony's dad''': I know I've strayed from Your path. And, maybe I don't go to church often enough. But, You know I'm a good man. I don't ask for much. But I'm asking... for this one thing. Please... don't take my boy from me. Give him a couple more good weeks.
:'''Ren''': ''[crying]'' We didn't do it, man!
:'''Anthony's dad''': ''[angrily]'' Alright, you two. You march into the house. Meet me in the DEN.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Anthony's dad is confronting Ren and Stimpy in the den]''
:'''Anthony's dad''': Oh... You guys are big shots. ''[chuckles]'' Big shots from Hollywood. Is that what makes you feel big? Huh?! Pushing little boys around? Ya feel like ''big'' men, playing with little boys' feelings, huh?! You Hollywood types make me SICK! You think because you come from HOLLYWOOD, you can push decent people around. People who ''work'' for a living! I work my fingers to the ''bone'', to feed my wife, and... ''[chokes up]'' my boy, Anthony. ''[crying]'' Oh, Anthony, you've got to pull through! ''[becomes angry again]'' I bet you wussies never worked a stinkin' day, in your stinkin' little lives! Show me your hands!
:''[Ren and Stimpy present their hands to Anthony's dad]''
:'''Anthony's dad''': Just as I thought. Soft as a baby's head. Well, look at these hands! ''[shows Ren and Stimpy his hands, which have rocks growing out of them]'' These are the hands of a working man! What'd you ever do for society anyway, just what do you do to earn your keep?
:'''Stimpy''': Eh... Well, we make people laugh.
:'''Anthony's dad''': Real hard work, making people laugh. Did you go to school to make people laugh? Listen. I make people laugh, too. But nobody gives ME money! You wanna hear a joke?
:'''Stimpy''': Well, I...
:'''Anthony's dad''': I'll tell ya a joke. And you're gonna laugh! Alright. Here's the joke. Ya ready? Why did they bury the fireman... behind the hill? Come on, funny guys, huh? Huh, huh? Why?
:'''Ren and Stimpy''': ''[trembling with fear; in unison]'' We don't know why they buried the fireman behind the hill...
:'''Anthony's dad''': I'll tell ya why. Because he was DEAD!
:'''Stimpy''': ''[laughs]'' That's pretty good, huh, Ren? Maybe we could use that.
:''[Ren smacks Stimpy]''
:'''Anthony's dad''': Alright, funny guys. I wanna know something. ''[increasing with anger]'' I just wanna know one thing... JUST ONE THING FROM YOU... ''[suddenly casual]'' So what makes you guys move, anyway?

===''The Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen'' [2.11]===
:'''Ren and Stimpy''': ''[Singing the Royal Anthem of the Kilted Yaksmen to the theme of &quot;God Save the Queen&quot;]''
:Our country reeks of trees
:Our Yaks are really large
:And they smell like rotting beef carcasses
:And we have to clean up after them
:And our saddle sores are the best
:We proudly wear women's clothing
:And searing sand blows up our skirts
:And the buzzards, they soar overhead
:And poisonous snakes will devour us whole
:Our bones will bleach in the sun
:And we will probably go to hell
:And that is our great reward
:For being the uh, Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen
:''[They all throw clothes, ribbons, and intestines in the air. Later in the desert, Ren and Stimpy are still singing as two yaks are in agony]''
:'''Brown Yak''': SHUT UP! I can't STAND IT ANYMORE! All the time, singing! SINGING! Why won't he STOP?! Listen! You hear that? ''[starts laughing maniacally]''

===''Son of Stimpy'' [2.12]===
:'''Stimpy''': ''[after farting for the first time]'' Something came out of my butt!
:'''Ren''': That's nice Stimpy. Something came out of your butt.
:'''Stimpy''': No no Ren, I'm serious! And not only that, it made a sound.
:'''Ren''': Let's see if I got this straight. Something came out of your butt and it made a sound.
:'''Stimpy''': And it smelt funny!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Ren''': What's on TV tonight?
:'''Stimpy''': I don't care.
:'''Ren''': Commander Hoek and Cadet Stimpy!
:'''Stimpy''': I don't care.
:'''Ren''': Hey look. It's time for Muddy Mudskipper!
:'''Stimpy''': I don't care.
:''[Ren looks concerned for a moment, then has an idea]''
:'''Ren''': Look what I got for you! A new catnip mouse! 
:'''Stimpy''': ''[turning it away]'' Ah...
:'''Ren''': Mr. Catnip Mouse! ''[Tries to get Stimpy to play with the mouse, but Stimpy doesn't respond, then he has another idea]'' It's Mr. Litter Box! Come on! Take a stinky one! ''[scratches steps]'' Nice and '''stinky'''!
:'''Stimpy''': Stinky... ''[loud, violent crying]''
:'''Ren''': ''[annoyed]'' So THAT's it! YOU'RE still crying about your imaginary BUTT stinkiness!
:'''Stimpy''': I'm not listening to this anymore! He's real. He's REAL! He's REAL!
:'''Ren''': Look, man! It's time to get over this fantasy of yours. Let the wound heal. Come on, man, I'll help you. Together, we'll get through this, okay, buddy?
:'''Stimpy''': I don't care.
:'''Ren''': ''[loses his patience at this point]'' FINE! Sit here and wallow! You FAT, You -you STUPID... WHO NEEDS YA?! ''[storms off]''

===''Man's Best Friend (Banned Episode)''===
:'''George Liquor''': Alright boys, this is it. A real dog's gotta learn how to protect its master. Now in order to protect, you must learn how to ATTACK! Come on, boys! ATTACK! Let's go, Rex! ATTACK ME!
:'''Stimpy''': But you are my kind and beloved master! ''[sobs]'' I CA-A-A-A-AN'T!
:''[Ren, now in a manic and psychotic state smiles intensely and taking great pleasure at the conflict unfolding. Now with the intent to attack George. He turns his head and sees and oar conveniently placed next to the fireplace. Realizing his twisted opportunity, Ren swiftly picks the oar up and with a look of malice prepares to attack]''
:'''Ren''': BUT I CAN! ''[Sarcastically]'' DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY!
:''[Ren hits the oar at George Liquor, laughs maniacally, then swings the oar at him again and lands a hit on George Liquor's head]''
:'''Stimpy''': NO!
:'''George Liquor''': ''[slow motion]'' Whoa.
:''[In slow motion, Ren slaps his oar at George Liquor's head, dentures come out, And in normal motion, Ren then slams his oar into George Liquor's head. George Liquor's eye pops out and droops down and blinks twice in one eye]''
:'''Ren''': ''[Sarcastically]'' IT'S THE DISCIPLINE THAT BEGETS LOVE! ''[Ren slaps his oar at George Liquor twice]''
:'''Stimpy''': NO! ''[tear his ears off and grabs onto the oar, trying to prevent Ren from delivering another swing]'' YOU MUSTN'T, he's our master!
:'''Ren''': Eh, SHUT UP! You're next, Mr. Doggie Treat! HI-YA! ''[Ren then sadistically beats George with the oar while he is on the ground]''</text>
      <sha1>bku3atcdpe84qdbm1ezcpdddq0j66sw</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Larryboy: The Cartoon Adventures</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>290488</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944013</id>
      <parentid>3940884</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T19:09:40Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944013</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1418" sha1="nr168w5p6bdrm9yc7hs4q80cmhemz9j" xml:space="preserve">'''''{{w|Larryboy: The Cartoon Adventures}}''''' (2002-2003) is a Christian children's 2D animated superhero/comedy/sci-fi/action/adventure/fantasy series. The show was aimed at older children, and preteens, and from ages 9 to 12.

==Larry-Boy and the Angry Eyebrows==
:'''Larry-Boy''': I’m Larry-Boy from Bumblyburg.
:'''Scarlet Tomato''': I’m the Scarlet Tomato. I’m from Pugslyville.
:'''Larry-Boy''': The Scarlet Tomato? Isn’t that redundant?
:'''Scarlet Tomato''': What do you mean?

==Leggo My Ego==
:'''Larry-Boy''': Whoever exhausts himself will be humbled and whoever humbles himself will be exhausted. Bok Choy was right. I am exhausted.
:'''Bok Choy''': No. It’s whoever humbles himself will be EXALTED! To reverse the damage, you must be mumbled.

==The Yodelnapper==
:'''Greta Von Gruesome''': Welcome to my castle. I am Greta Von Gruesome! Cruel ruler of Zucchinia, scourge of Bumblyburg, stealer of all yodelers und a snappy dresser.

==The Good, The Bad and the Eggly==

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
[[Category:American children's animated superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fiction TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:VeggieTales]]</text>
      <sha1>nr168w5p6bdrm9yc7hs4q80cmhemz9j</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944014</id>
      <parentid>3944013</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T19:10:56Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944014</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1428" sha1="au9v538k5hzo4rw0k3iyiccnfpt9rx3" xml:space="preserve">'''''{{w|Larryboy: The Cartoon Adventures}}''''' (2002-2003) is a Christian children's 2D animated religious/superhero/comedy/sci-fi/action/adventure/fantasy series. The show was aimed at older children, and preteens, and from ages 9 to 12.

==Larry-Boy and the Angry Eyebrows==
:'''Larry-Boy''': I’m Larry-Boy from Bumblyburg.
:'''Scarlet Tomato''': I’m the Scarlet Tomato. I’m from Pugslyville.
:'''Larry-Boy''': The Scarlet Tomato? Isn’t that redundant?
:'''Scarlet Tomato''': What do you mean?

==Leggo My Ego==
:'''Larry-Boy''': Whoever exhausts himself will be humbled and whoever humbles himself will be exhausted. Bok Choy was right. I am exhausted.
:'''Bok Choy''': No. It’s whoever humbles himself will be EXALTED! To reverse the damage, you must be mumbled.

==The Yodelnapper==
:'''Greta Von Gruesome''': Welcome to my castle. I am Greta Von Gruesome! Cruel ruler of Zucchinia, scourge of Bumblyburg, stealer of all yodelers und a snappy dresser.

==The Good, The Bad and the Eggly==

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}
[[Category:American children's animated superhero TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated science fiction TV shows]]
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]]
[[Category:VeggieTales]]</text>
      <sha1>au9v538k5hzo4rw0k3iyiccnfpt9rx3</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Lőrinc Orczy</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>290719</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943858</id>
      <parentid>3721780</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T12:36:05Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30482-47</username>
        <id>3326388</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>[[File:Orczy Lőrinc.png|thumb|Lőrinc Orczy]]</comment>
      <origin>3943858</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="962" sha1="5nvesnqtwet0vnwpeot4jzctkswgay9" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Orczy Lőrinc.png|thumb|Lőrinc Orczy]]
'''[[w:Lőrinc Orczy|Lőrinc Orczy]]''' (Hungarian: ''Orczy Lőrinc''; 9 August 1718 – 28 July 1789) was a Hungarian nobleman, general and poet.

{{author-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* ''Csikós 's gulyás nép clubbja rossz vityilló ...''
** Now, [[w:Csikós|''Csikos'']], [[wikt:gulyás|''Gulyas'']], now—come hither—hither, &lt;/br&gt; And make your way through fly-swarms numberless, &lt;/br&gt; And armies of loud croaking frogs, and legions &lt;/br&gt; Of insects which torment the herds—come hither, &lt;/br&gt; Forth from the robbers' nest, and tell me who &lt;/br&gt; Placed thee in that wild waste.
** &quot;The Bugaczian [[wikt:csárda|Csarda]]&quot; (tr. John Bowring, 1830)

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
* [[John Bowring]], [[commons:File:Poetry of the Magyars.djvu|''Poetry of the Magyars'']] (London, 1830), pp. 31–35

{{DEFAULTSORT:Orczy, Lőrinc}}
[[Category:Poets from Hungary]]
[[Category:1718 births]]
[[Category:1789 deaths]]</text>
      <sha1>5nvesnqtwet0vnwpeot4jzctkswgay9</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Category:Disney+ children's shows</title>
    <ns>14</ns>
    <id>291443</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944046</id>
      <parentid>3753158</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T21:44:21Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944046</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="107" sha1="lot9lbwvwjh575ghyrgfutp3rfdmws4" xml:space="preserve">These are the children's shows that aired on Disney+ &amp; Disney Jr.
[[Category:American TV shows by network]]</text>
      <sha1>lot9lbwvwjh575ghyrgfutp3rfdmws4</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Jens Peter Jacobsen</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>291855</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944125</id>
      <parentid>3760523</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T06:51:41Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Surya8090yi</username>
        <id>3327050</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Quotes */ Number</comment>
      <origin>3944125</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="2989" sha1="s1sn8xgc7j424mdovdr3mh8dlx1g9ih" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Jens Peter Jacobsen.jpg|thumb|Jens Peter Jacobsen]]
'''[[w:Jens Peter Jacobsen|Jens Peter Jacobsen]]''' (7 April 1847 – 30 April 1885) was a Danish [[novelist]], [[poet]], and scientist, in Denmark often just written as &quot;'''J.&amp;nbsp;P.&amp;nbsp;Jacobsen'''&quot;. He began the [[w:Naturalism (literature)|naturalist]] movement in [[w:Danish literature|Danish literature]] and was a part of the [[w:Modern Breakthrough|Modern Breakthrough]].

== Quotes ==
=== ''{{w|Niels Lyhne}}'' (1880) ===
* However high a mortal may set his throne, however firmly he may place upon his brow the tiara of exception that signifies [[genius]], he can never be perfectly sure that he may not some day, like {{w|King Nebuchadnezzar}}, be seized with the strange desire to go on all-fours and eat grass with the meanest beasts of the field.
** {{cite book|title=Siren Voices (Niels Lyhne)|volume=Volume 19 of Heinemann's international library|publisher=W. Heinemann|year=1896|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=WjRFAQAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA36|page=PA36}} (translated from the Danish by {{w|Henry Handel Richardson|Ethel F. L. Robertson}}; 268 pages)

* &quot;... Man's love is a course of drill. And we submit to it; even those whom no one loves submit—contemptible weaklings that we are!&quot;&lt;br&gt;She rose from her recumbent position and looked threateningly across at Niels.&lt;br&gt;&quot;If I were beautiful—oh, I mean bewitchingly beautiful, lovelier than any woman that ever lived, so that all who saw me were smitten, as if by [[magic]], with the anguish of unquenchable love—how I should compel them by the power of my beauty to adore, not their traditional, bloodless ideal, but me, myself, as I lived and moved, every single inch of me, every corner of my being and every spark of my nature!&quot;
** [https://books.google.com/books?id=WjRFAQAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA91|page=PA91 Fru Boye in conversation with Niels; quote from p. 91] 

* &quot;There is no [[God]], and man is His [[prophet]],&quot; said Niels bitterly, but with a touch of sadness.&lt;br&gt;&quot;Yes, exactly!&quot; jeered Hjerrild; a moment afterwards he said, &quot;Yet atheism is exceedingly modest in its claims, for its object is really nothing or less than to disillusion mankind. The belief in a God who guides and judges is man's last great illusion, and when this is gone—what then? He will be wiser; but richer, happier? I do not see it.&quot;
** [https://books.google.com/books?id=WjRFAQAAMAAJ&amp;pg=PA150 quote from p. 150] he was going through the unka tho and pilu the king 👑 E and finally to bhej do yaar da iPhone please 🥺 you tube video or audio driver and I will have to eat a photo me ek ere a eyes are ye enter your t a photo of my new song upload the end E et a big black monster truck and pilu you are interested and I'll see you ji abhi hui thi

==External links==
* {{wikipedia-inline}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Jacobsen, Jens Peter}}
[[Category:Novelists from Denmark]]
[[Category:Poets from Denmark]]
[[Category:Botanists from Denmark]]
[[Category:1847 births]]
[[Category:1885 deaths]]</text>
      <sha1>s1sn8xgc7j424mdovdr3mh8dlx1g9ih</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>The Boys Presents: Diabolical</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>293070</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943870</id>
      <parentid>3931520</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:13:07Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* External links */</comment>
      <origin>3943870</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="4248" sha1="ipmec2f2us9x07gs5sjhn3gfhw74us7" xml:space="preserve">{{Italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Boys Presents: Diabolical|The Boys Presents: Diabolical]]''''' is an American adult animated superhero miniseries that premiered on [[w:Amazon Prime Video|Amazon Prime Video]] on March 4, 2022. It serves as a spin-off of the live action television series ''[[The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]'', and is similarly based on the comic book series [[w:The Boys (comics)|of the same name]] by [[W:Garth Ennis|Garth Ennis]] and [[w:Darick Robertson|Darick Robertson]]. The series is created by [[W:Eric Kripke|Eric Kripke]], [[W:Seth Rogen|Seth Rogen]] and [[W:Evan Goldberg|Evan Goldberg]], all executive producers of ''The Boys'' television series, alongside Simon Racioppa.

Each episode serves as a standalone story. The tone of the stories vary from comedic to dramatic, and each episode has its own animation style. Writers include Ennis, Racioppa, Rogen, Goldberg, [[w:Justin Roiland|Justin Roiland]], [[w:Ilana Glazer|Ilana Glazer]], [[Awkwafina]], and [[w:Andy Samberg|Andy Samberg]]; featured voice actors include [[W:Antony Starr|Antony Starr]], [[w:Dominique McElligott|Dominique McElligott]], [[w:Colby Minifie|Colby Minifie]], [[w:Chace Crawford|Chace Crawford]], [[w:Elisabeth Shue|Elisabeth Shue]], and [[Giancarlo Esposito]], reprising their roles from the live-action series.
{{Stub}}

==Episodes==
===&quot;Laser Baby's Day Out&quot;===
:'''The Laser Baby''': ''(to Simon)'' Da-da.

===&quot;An Animated Short Where Pissed-Off Supes Kill Their Parents&quot;===
:'''Ghost''': Well, what goes around comes around, cocksuckers. It’s time for a family fucking reunion!

===&quot;I'm Your Pusher&quot;===
:'''Billy Butcher''': You'll believe a cunt can fly. Except, you won't.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': ''[about the Great Wide Wonder]'' What is it he does, anyway?
:'''Jack From Jupiter''': He flies really fast. You know, &quot;Ride around the world with the Great Wide Wonder,&quot; and all that.
:'''Homelander''': Yes, but there's fast, and then there's...
:'''Queen Maeve''': I'd say about Mach 1.5.
:''[the Great Wide Wonder flies by, and unleashes a sonic boom while speeding up, affecting the hearings of citizens]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[affected by the sound of The Great Wide Wonder's sonic boom]'' Ow!
:'''Jack From Jupiter''': ''[also affected]'' Ow! Fuck me.
:'''Queen Maeve''': ''[getting a little worried about The Great Wide Wonder]'' Mach 2.

=== &quot;Boyd in 3D&quot; ===
:'''Vik''': Picture the face you want to have...life you want to have.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Boyd''': Cherry...don't hide them.

=== &quot;BFFs&quot; ===
:'''Sky''': Rise up, my turd friends!

===&quot;Nubian vs Nubian&quot;===
:'''Nubian Prince''': You have any idea what a thunderclap to the balls feels like?

=== &quot;John and Sun-Hee&quot; ===
:'''John''': What matters is that you're better.
:'''Sun-Hee''': I'm not better.
:'''John''': You're alive.

=== &quot;One Plus One Equals Two&quot; ===
:''[Homelander disarms the CLF members, and blocks the guns]''
:'''Homelander''': Violence is never the answer. Now, if you come peacefully, I'll make sure your cause is discussed at the highest level.
:'''CLF Leader''': ''(holds a hostage a gunpoint, wielding a tied up machine gun)'' If you don't get the fuck out of here, I'll kill him!
:'''Homelander''': No, but... y-your gun's useless now. It's over.
:'''CLF Leader''': This thing will still fucking explode if I pull the trigger, so get the fuck back!
:'''Homelander''': You know, friend, it's hard to hold a gun when it's 500 degrees Fahrenheit.
:''[Homelander overheats the gun with his heat vision]''
:'''CLF Leader''': No, you idiot! It'll ex...
:''[the gun explodes, disfiguring half of the hostage's face, and killing him. It also blows up the leader's hand, as Sharon and a female hostage scream]''
:'''Homelander''': ''(shocked)'' You weren't... You weren't supposed to do that.
:'''Sharon''': That was you! What the fuck do you think happens when you heat up a fucking gun, you stupid fuck?!
:'''Homelander''': I... I didn't know.

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Boys Presents: Diabolical, The}}
{{The Boys}}
[[Category:The Boys]]
[[Category:2020s American satirical TV shows]]
[[Category:Adult animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Amazon Prime Video shows]]
[[Category:The Boys (TV series)]]
[[Category:Miniseries]]</text>
      <sha1>ipmec2f2us9x07gs5sjhn3gfhw74us7</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944158</id>
      <parentid>3943870</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T11:03:06Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* &quot;BFFs&quot; */</comment>
      <origin>3944158</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="4305" sha1="obzfj6h8oncnkkrixow44p1ztm1bvi6" xml:space="preserve">{{Italic title}}
'''''[[w:The Boys Presents: Diabolical|The Boys Presents: Diabolical]]''''' is an American adult animated superhero miniseries that premiered on [[w:Amazon Prime Video|Amazon Prime Video]] on March 4, 2022. It serves as a spin-off of the live action television series ''[[The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]'', and is similarly based on the comic book series [[w:The Boys (comics)|of the same name]] by [[W:Garth Ennis|Garth Ennis]] and [[w:Darick Robertson|Darick Robertson]]. The series is created by [[W:Eric Kripke|Eric Kripke]], [[W:Seth Rogen|Seth Rogen]] and [[W:Evan Goldberg|Evan Goldberg]], all executive producers of ''The Boys'' television series, alongside Simon Racioppa.

Each episode serves as a standalone story. The tone of the stories vary from comedic to dramatic, and each episode has its own animation style. Writers include Ennis, Racioppa, Rogen, Goldberg, [[w:Justin Roiland|Justin Roiland]], [[w:Ilana Glazer|Ilana Glazer]], [[Awkwafina]], and [[w:Andy Samberg|Andy Samberg]]; featured voice actors include [[W:Antony Starr|Antony Starr]], [[w:Dominique McElligott|Dominique McElligott]], [[w:Colby Minifie|Colby Minifie]], [[w:Chace Crawford|Chace Crawford]], [[w:Elisabeth Shue|Elisabeth Shue]], and [[Giancarlo Esposito]], reprising their roles from the live-action series.
{{Stub}}

==Episodes==
===&quot;Laser Baby's Day Out&quot;===
:'''The Laser Baby''': ''(to Simon)'' Da-da.

===&quot;An Animated Short Where Pissed-Off Supes Kill Their Parents&quot;===
:'''Ghost''': Well, what goes around comes around, cocksuckers. It’s time for a family fucking reunion!

===&quot;I'm Your Pusher&quot;===
:'''Billy Butcher''': You'll believe a cunt can fly. Except, you won't.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': ''[about the Great Wide Wonder]'' What is it he does, anyway?
:'''Jack From Jupiter''': He flies really fast. You know, &quot;Ride around the world with the Great Wide Wonder,&quot; and all that.
:'''Homelander''': Yes, but there's fast, and then there's...
:'''Queen Maeve''': I'd say about Mach 1.5.
:''[the Great Wide Wonder flies by, and unleashes a sonic boom while speeding up, affecting the hearings of citizens]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[affected by the sound of The Great Wide Wonder's sonic boom]'' Ow!
:'''Jack From Jupiter''': ''[also affected]'' Ow! Fuck me.
:'''Queen Maeve''': ''[getting a little worried about The Great Wide Wonder]'' Mach 2.

=== &quot;Boyd in 3D&quot; ===
:'''Vik''': Picture the face you want to have...life you want to have.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Boyd''': Cherry...don't hide them.

=== &quot;BFFs&quot; ===
:'''Sky''': Oh man, I really hope that wasn't meth.
----
:'''Sky''': Rise up, my turd friends!

===&quot;Nubian vs Nubian&quot;===
:'''Nubian Prince''': You have any idea what a thunderclap to the balls feels like?

=== &quot;John and Sun-Hee&quot; ===
:'''John''': What matters is that you're better.
:'''Sun-Hee''': I'm not better.
:'''John''': You're alive.

=== &quot;One Plus One Equals Two&quot; ===
:''[Homelander disarms the CLF members, and blocks the guns]''
:'''Homelander''': Violence is never the answer. Now, if you come peacefully, I'll make sure your cause is discussed at the highest level.
:'''CLF Leader''': ''(holds a hostage a gunpoint, wielding a tied up machine gun)'' If you don't get the fuck out of here, I'll kill him!
:'''Homelander''': No, but... y-your gun's useless now. It's over.
:'''CLF Leader''': This thing will still fucking explode if I pull the trigger, so get the fuck back!
:'''Homelander''': You know, friend, it's hard to hold a gun when it's 500 degrees Fahrenheit.
:''[Homelander overheats the gun with his heat vision]''
:'''CLF Leader''': No, you idiot! It'll ex...
:''[the gun explodes, disfiguring half of the hostage's face, and killing him. It also blows up the leader's hand, as Sharon and a female hostage scream]''
:'''Homelander''': ''(shocked)'' You weren't... You weren't supposed to do that.
:'''Sharon''': That was you! What the fuck do you think happens when you heat up a fucking gun, you stupid fuck?!
:'''Homelander''': I... I didn't know.

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Boys Presents: Diabolical, The}}
{{The Boys}}
[[Category:The Boys]]
[[Category:2020s American satirical TV shows]]
[[Category:Adult animated TV shows]]
[[Category:Amazon Prime Video shows]]
[[Category:The Boys (TV series)]]
[[Category:Miniseries]]</text>
      <sha1>obzfj6h8oncnkkrixow44p1ztm1bvi6</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Lorna Goodison</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>294590</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943912</id>
      <parentid>3797118</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:46:05Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>−[[Category:Women from Jamaica]]; ±[[Category:Women authors]]→[[Category:Women authors from Jamaica]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <origin>3943912</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="8632" sha1="9jr8i8rmqbxoi06kyfah7ivykxgk08d" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Lorna Goodison|Lorna Gaye Goodison]]''' (born 1 August 1947) is a poet, essayist and professor from Kingston. She was the Poet Laureate of [[Jamaica]] from 2017 until 2020.

== Quotes ==  
*The baby was plump and pretty as a ripe ox-heart tomato. Her mother, Margaret Wilson Harvey, gently squeezed the soft cheeks to open the tiny mouth and rubbed her little finger, which had been dipped in sugar, back and forth, over and under the small tongue to anoint the child with the gift of sweet speech. &quot;Her name is Doris,&quot; she said to her husband, David.
**''From Harvey River'', first lines of Part 1

===from interviews/conversations===
*my own memoir is a history of Jamaica; it’s my attempt to show that history happens to real people; how history affects ordinary people. ([https://mosaicmagazine.org/lorna-goodison-interview/ 2013])

*My particular role, as I see it, is to accurately represent my people. I have this real concern about how sometimes Jamaicans, and Caribbean people, are represented. And in my own writing, I want to tell their stories, but I want to do it in such a way that I think accurately portrays them. That’s the only ambition I really have. And if I do that, then I’ve fulfilled my job as a writer. ([https://mosaicmagazine.org/lorna-goodison-interview/ 2013])

*once I started reading, I was taken with the idea of what could happen to you once you read something. I don’t actually remember thinking that I wanted to be a writer, but I remember thinking I wanted to be a part of this world where people put down thoughts on paper, and when you read it back you could feel all of the emotions: you could be sad, you could be happy, you could be repulsed—all of those things. And I knew I wanted to be a part of that world. ([https://mosaicmagazine.org/lorna-goodison-interview/ 2013])

*Jamaicans are very comical people, and laughter is a way of coping with life’s displeasures. Also, when you make something of it [a hard situation], it says that you are in control. There are incidences when we have no control; all we can do is make some sort of a gesture. Sometimes, the world can throw things at you that are so cruel and so devastating that you are in no position to have any kind of real response but to make a gesture. And I think that sometimes laughter is a gesture saying that you have not completely annihilated me; you have not robbed me of my ability to respond as a human being. ([https://mosaicmagazine.org/lorna-goodison-interview/ 2013])

*I think a lot of my poems have been trying to make these gestures, you know, to say 'I'm a human being, and I have some control ... very limited, but some control over myself as a human being.' ([https://www.pnreview.co.uk/archive/lorna-goodison-in-conversation/3104 2007])

*When all of this is over, I want to have done something that I really think means something to people: something that feeds them in some way, and I'm trying to feed the work in the hope that it can nourish people. ([https://www.pnreview.co.uk/archive/lorna-goodison-in-conversation/3104 2007])

*You know, the [[Emily Dickinson]] litmus test: if I read a poem and I feel so cold as if no fire will ever warm me, or if I feel physically as if I'm losing the top of my head? Most poems can't pass that test, but you read something like 'Ode to a Nightingale', and you do lose the top of your head! Nowadays people seem to want this absolute control over poetry, a kind of domination. I'm not interested in that kind of poetry. I appreciate artistry and virtuosity, but I love it when you just back away from a poem, and think, 'Jesus! Where did that come from?' When you have to admit you have no idea how it got in there. ([https://www.pnreview.co.uk/archive/lorna-goodison-in-conversation/3104 2007])

*I see myself in a tradition of praise singers. (2004, in ''Writing across worlds'')

==== in ''Talk Yuh Talk: Interviews with Anglophone Caribbean Poets'' (2000)====
book by [[Kwame Dawes]]

*I love words, I really love the pleasure and consolation you get from words. Words can be nourishing or medicinal or at their worst, poisonous.

*It's terrific that there are these women writers, Caribbean writers, emerging. They're emerging the same way that the men emerged. It's just their time, nobody can stop it. They are the ones that have to tell the half that has never been told, and they will tell it.

*I believe I started to write because I wanted to read what I was writing. When I was growing up there were no images of me in the literature I read. I didn't see myself or people like me in any of the literature of my youth. 

*People should realize that there is not a finite amount of opportunities for writers or for artists, you know. I think if you're good, you're good. I myself have always had the attitude that I just do my work, and I do what I'm doing, and if I am recognized, good. But I'm perfectly willing to just go about my life and if some big things happen, that's wonderful, and if they don't, I am still going to be Lorna Goodison. I will continue to just be myself.

====with ''Wasafiri'' (1989)====
collected in ''Writing across worlds : contemporary writers talk'' edited by Susheila Nasta (2004)

*I just love what's happening now; it's like there's a big tapestry and everybody has a corner because everybody has a story to tell.

*...I never anywhere saw my own point of view. Although it wasn't a conscious effort, I think in the end I needed to read those poems; that's why I wrote them. So, ''Tamarind Season'' was just a need to cry out about a lot of things about myself, about other women, about Jamaica, about the world in my own small way. 

*...I didn't think you should approach what your vocation is in any faint-hearted way... or as [[Rasta]] would say 'with a weak heart'. So, I wanted to write strong poems as good as the men, but about women's business. 

*I think that's what real [[poetry]] is...there are all these levels...you can write about what you really feel...You get borrowed and it doesn't have very much to do with you. That's why I think real poetry or the inspiration to write real poetry is a divine thing; it is completely out of your hands. You just happen to be standing there and it passes through you.

== Quotes about ==
*She is solidly located in the trinity of Caribbean writing. It is now, officially, Walcott, Braithwaite and Goodison.
**[[Kwame Dawes]], part of quote used as blurb for ''Controlling the Silver: Poems''

*Lorna Goodison is an artist as well as a poet. The keeps of her observation, her certain demarcation of shapes, her canny sense of physical and sociological textures are undoubtedly related to that.... The sensibility in ''Tamarind Season'' is a woman's...this is the important other half, the perspicacity missing from the current record of the Caribbean.
**[[Pamela Mordecai]], used as blurb for the book

*Few writers are as attuned as Goodison to the heartache and triumphs of Jamaicans, especially Jamaican women. . . . Fewer writers still tell us so much about what it means to be human.
**[[Elizabeth Nunez]], quote used as blurb for ''Love Possessed''

*Lorna Goodison's new collection is a triumph of fusions: of the naive wide-eyed delight of her younger poems with their claiming pride of naming everything that is melodiously Jamaican, to a tougher nostalgia that now looks at those things with a benign, unboastful authority. This is what the young Goodison fought for - the confidence of claiming the familiar, of trans-figuring it by the fury of her humility. And what is the rare quality that has gone out of poetry that these marvelous poems restore? [[Joy]].
**[[Derek Walcott]], quote used as blurb for ''Controlling the Silver: Poems'' 

== External links== 
{{Wikipedia}} 
* [http://caribbeanreviewofbooks.com/subject/lorna-goodison/ ''Caribbean Review of Books''] index to material on Goodison.
* [http://www.poetryarchive.org/poet/lorna-goodison The Poetry Archive page]
*[https://www.blackwomenwritersproject.com/lorna-goodison Black Women Writers Project page]
*[https://japoetryarchive.nlj.gov.jm/poet-profile-lorna-goodison/ Poet Profile] at National Library of Jamaica
*[https://www.goodreads.com/author/list/68634.Lorna_Goodison Goodreads page]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Goodison, Lorna}}
[[Category:1947 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Poets laureate]]
[[Category:Poets from Jamaica]]
[[Category:Essayists from Jamaica]]
[[Category:Memoirists]]
[[Category:Short story writers from Jamaica]]
[[Category:Painters]]
[[Category:Women authors from Jamaica]]
[[Category:Women artists]]
[[Category:Women born in the 1940s]]</text>
      <sha1>9jr8i8rmqbxoi06kyfah7ivykxgk08d</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Rosemonde Gérard</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>294904</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943915</id>
      <parentid>3801845</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:46:57Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>−[[Category:Women from France]]; ±[[Category:Women authors]]→[[Category:Women authors from France]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <origin>3943915</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1137" sha1="rsjy0sgt92qon0pkz2qbu7edb79ipsk" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Rosemonde-Gerard.jpg|thumb|Rosemonde Gérard]]
'''[[w:Rosemonde Gérard|Louise-Rose-Étiennette Gérard]]''', known as '''Rosemonde Gérard''' (April 5, 1866 – July 8, 1953) was a French poet and playwright. She was the wife of [[Edmond Rostand]] (author of ''Cyrano de Bergerac''), and was a granddaughter of Étienne Maurice Gérard, who was a Marshal and a Prime Minister of France.

{{author-stub}}
== Quotes ==
* ''Car, vois-tu, chaque jour je t'aime davantage, &lt;br /&gt; Aujourd'hui plus qu'hier et bien moins que demain.''
** For, you see, each day I [[love]] you more, &lt;br /&gt; Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.
** &quot;''L'éternelle chanson''&quot;, IX, ''Les Pipeaux'' (1890) — P. Dupré, ''Encyclopédie des Citations'' (1959) p. 176. Reported in Suzy Platt (ed.) ''Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations'' (1989) p. 215, no. 1130

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Gérard, Rosemonde}}
[[Category:Poets from France]]
[[Category:Playwrights from France]]
[[Category:Women authors from France]]
[[Category:1866 births]]
[[Category:1953 deaths]]
[[Category:Women born in the 19th century]]</text>
      <sha1>rsjy0sgt92qon0pkz2qbu7edb79ipsk</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Soejima Taneomi</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>296051</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944024</id>
      <parentid>3812578</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T19:37:32Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Yenistardom</username>
        <id>3208597</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>/* Sōkaisō mondō 滄海窓問答 (1898) */</comment>
      <origin>3944024</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1566" sha1="a9e3hmavrgb5xngq3mbm3pwc7tmdt5l" xml:space="preserve">[[File:SoejimaTaneomi.jpg|thumb|right|Portrait of Soejima Taneomi (副島種臣, 1828–1905)]]
Count '''[[w:Soejima Taneomi|Soejima Taneomi]]''' (副島 種臣; 17 October 1828 – 31 January 1905) was a Japanese diplomat and politician active during the early Meiji period. He was also a disciple of [[Honda Chikaatsu]], a philosopher and Shinto priest.

==Quotes==
===''Sōkaisō mondō'' 滄海窓問答 (1898)===
:&lt;small&gt;''Questions and answers at Sōkai’s window'' (滄海窓問答, ''Sōkaisō mondō''), compiled by Sasaki Tetsutarō (佐佐木哲太朗) in 1898. It contains 98 questions and answers on Soejima Taneomi's explanations of Honda's spiritual studies and is also written in Literary Chinese. The text can be found at the end of [[commons:Category:幽冥秘録神仙霊典|幽冥秘録神仙霊典]], a book published by Tomokiyo Yoshisane in 1920.&lt;/small&gt;

*'''問''' 神、何衣、何食、何宅&lt;br&gt;'''曰''' 衣道、食道、宅道&lt;br&gt;如人、衣於道、食於道、宅於道，則亦猶神
**''Question'': What kind of clothing, food, and dwelling does God (''Kami'') have?&lt;br&gt;''Answer'': God wears the Way, eats the Way, and dwells in the Way.&lt;br&gt;If man dresses, eats, and dwells according to the Way, then he is also like God.&lt;br&gt;(Wikiquote translation)

==See also==
*[[Honda Chikaatsu]]

==External links==
{{Wikipedia}}

[[Category:1828 births]]
[[Category:1905 deaths]]
[[Category:Diplomats of Japan]]
[[Category:Philosophers from Japan]]
[[Category:19th-century philosophers]]
[[Category:Authors from Japan]]
[[Category:Shinto]]</text>
      <sha1>a9e3hmavrgb5xngq3mbm3pwc7tmdt5l</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Wikiquote:Village pump archive 64</title>
    <ns>4</ns>
    <id>297649</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943974</id>
      <parentid>3941702</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T15:10:14Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>MABot</username>
        <id>3002050</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>Bot: Archiving 2 threads from [[Wikiquote:Village pump]]</comment>
      <origin>3943974</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="124545" sha1="ccxguc3lt0zde1v8tkvcjxn5w9rhbhv" xml:space="preserve">{{Village pump archives}}

== Proposed change to [[Special:Watchlist]] ==

If you take a look at your watchlist on [[:species:]] at [[:species:Special:Watchlist]], you'll see that there's a line at the top that gives visibility to a handful of tracking categories that require attention and in the case that a certain category has more than &lt;var&gt;x&lt;/var&gt; pages in it, it gets a hi-lite. Would the community here be in favor of a similar change for categories such as [[:Category:Candidates for speedy deletion]], [[:Category:Pages with reference errors]], and [[:Category:Possible copyright violations]]? I imagine about a half-dozen of the more important maintenance categories. I think this would be helpful in providing visibility for admins and other users to fix more acute problems. Thoughts? —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 22:25, 4 September 2025 (UTC)
== interwiki error ==

Good evening, please let you have a look at [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Stefano_Lorenzetto&amp;diff=3805435&amp;oldid=3805434 this].

Thr wrong interwiki [[fr:Adrien Candiard]] (in the quotes) created automatically an interwiki link (at the right side of the top of the page) between [[q:en:Stefano Lorenzetto]] and [[q:fr:Adrien Candiard]], a WQ article which does not exist. [[Special:Contributions/&amp;#126;2025-57140-7|&amp;#126;2025-57140-7]] ([[User talk:&amp;#126;2025-57140-7|talk]]) 20:05, 10 September 2025 (UTC)

:It doesn't exist an entry on ''&quot;Wikiquote in French&quot;'' about ''&quot;Adrien Candiard&quot;''.
:It does exist an article about him on '''&quot;Wikipedia in French&quot;''' but not on '''&quot;Wikipedia in English&quot;'''.
:The mistake was corrected , now there are an interlink to the article in French language. [[User:Anatole-berthe|Anatole-berthe]] ([[User talk:Anatole-berthe|talk]]) 01:25, 11 September 2025 (UTC)
== Policy Change proposal ==

There is currently a discussion in [[WQ:WQ]] talk page on the change the notability policy. You may visit the talk page, join the discussion and vote. [[User:NorthernWinds|NorthernWinds]] ([[User talk:NorthernWinds|talk]]) 14:40, 12 September 2025 (UTC)
== Server switch - Your wiki will be read-only for a short time soon ==

&lt;section begin=&quot;server-switch&quot;/&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;

[[:m:Special:MyLanguage/Tech/Server switch|Read this message in another language]] • [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Translate&amp;group=page-Tech%2FServer+switch&amp;language=&amp;action=page&amp;filter= {{int:please-translate}}]

The [[foundation:|Wikimedia Foundation]] will switch the traffic between its data centers. This will make sure that Wikipedia and the other Wikimedia wikis can stay online even after a disaster.

All traffic will switch on '''{{#time:j xg|2025-09-24|en}}'''. The switch will start at '''[https://zonestamp.toolforge.org/{{#time:U|2025-09-24T15:00|en}} {{#time:H:i e|2025-09-24T15:00}}]'''.

Unfortunately, because of some limitations in [[mw:Special:MyLanguage/Manual:What is MediaWiki?|MediaWiki]], all editing must stop while the switch is made. We apologize for this disruption, and we are working to minimize it in the future. 

A banner will be displayed on all wikis 30 minutes before this operation happens. This banner will remain visible until the end of the operation. 
You can contribute to the [https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special%3ATranslate&amp;group=Centralnotice-tgroup-read_only_banner&amp;task=view&amp;language=&amp;filter=&amp;action=translate translation or proofreading] of this banner text.

'''You will be able to read, but not edit, all wikis for a short period of time.'''

*You will not be able to edit for up to an hour on {{#time:l j xg Y|2025-09-24|en}}.
*If you try to edit or save during these times, you will see an error message. We hope that no edits will be lost during these minutes, but we can't guarantee it. If you see the error message, then please wait until everything is back to normal. Then you should be able to save your edit. But, we recommend that you make a copy of your changes first, just in case.

''Other effects'':

*Background jobs will be slower and some may be dropped. Red links might not be updated as quickly as normal. If you create an article that is already linked somewhere else, the link will stay red longer than usual. Some long-running scripts will have to be stopped.
* We expect the code deployments to happen as any other week. However, some case-by-case code freezes could punctually happen if the operation require them afterwards.
* [[mw:Special:MyLanguage/GitLab|GitLab]] will be unavailable for about 90 minutes.

This project may be postponed if necessary. You can [[wikitech:Switch_Datacenter|read the schedule at wikitech.wikimedia.org]]. Any changes will be announced in the schedule. 

'''Please share this information with your community.'''&lt;/div&gt;&lt;section end=&quot;server-switch&quot;/&gt;

&lt;span dir=ltr&gt;[[m:User:Trizek (WMF)|Trizek (WMF)]] ([[m:User talk:Trizek (WMF)|{{int:talk}}]])&lt;/span&gt; 15:41, 18 September 2025 (UTC)
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:Trizek (WMF)@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Distribution_list/Non-Technical_Village_Pumps_distribution_list&amp;oldid=29170715 --&gt;
== How to add a song verses without double spacing in between those verses? ==

hi, I tried to correct the quotation of a song, but I can't figure out how to include the song's verses on different lines without Wikiquotes automatically double spacing all the lines? It either bunches together each stanza into a single block, or the verses are too far apart and double spaced. Please help, I would appreciate it [[User:Misa-Misa Yagami-Amane|Misa-Misa Yagami-Amane]] ([[User talk:Misa-Misa Yagami-Amane|talk]]) 16:52, 9 September 2025 (UTC)

:Use &lt;nowiki&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/nowiki&gt; between each line (while keeping them together in a single paragraph). For example:&lt;br&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;line1&lt;br&gt;line2&lt;br&gt;line3.&lt;/nowiki&gt; As an example, look at the [[The Beatles]] page, where you'll find examples like the following: 
:* Oh yeah, I´ll tell you something&lt;br&gt;I think you´ll understand&lt;br&gt;When I say that something&lt;br&gt;I wanna hold your hand.
:** ''[[w:I Want to Hold Your Hand|I Want to Hold Your Hand]]'' ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:12, 9 September 2025 (UTC)
::Thank you so much! [[User:Misa-Misa Yagami-Amane|Misa-Misa Yagami-Amane]] ([[User talk:Misa-Misa Yagami-Amane|talk]]) 10:48, 22 September 2025 (UTC)
== User conflict at [[The Godfather]] ==

On 15 Feb. 2024 I, from an IP address, edited [[The Godfather]] to trim narration from dialogue from the film's Moe Greene scene. The narrations included e.g. noting that someone puffs a cigarette, suggesting someone's mood, details that I think the dialogue stands just fine without. Wikiquote is for quotations; if someone wants to see the entire audiovisual context of those quotations, they are welcome to watch the film. A few days later [[User:Eaglestorm]] reverted the change without explanation. I restored the changes in May; Eaglestorm reverted again and called me &quot;obsessed&quot; and an &quot;single-purpose account&quot; (untrue; I edit plenty of other articles). This has continued sporadically since. I make changes, Eaglestorm notices similarity with prior changes and reverts them entirely and without explanation. Eaglestorm is not the boss of who can and can't edit a particular article and I ask that they be advised of this. [[Special:Contributions/&amp;#126;2025-50662-4|&amp;#126;2025-50662-4]] ([[User talk:&amp;#126;2025-50662-4|talk]]) 17:33, 5 September 2025 (UTC)

:First, you are correct - no user &quot;owns&quot; any page and should not act that way. I agree that [[User:Eaglestorm]] appears to be a bit aggressive and denigrating in reverting your edits. This should stop and not continue ( I will keep an eye out for this). Second, as to the content of the changes, I would propose a compromise: I believe your contextual cuts are good ones to make (as you say, the quotes stand on their own) - sometimes ''some'' contextual information is good to have, but these trims look appropriate to me. As for adding the full names of characters, I am more ambivalent - many pages use simple, one word names for characters and others use the full names. That being said, I don't really believe it is necessary to have full names, since the cast listing shows them already. I would recommend not making that change. That way, both of you get something from this: you get to trim the contextual notes and they get to trim the full names. Make sense? ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 18:02, 5 September 2025 (UTC)

::It makes sense to me, but apparently Eaglestorm is not on board with it. [[Special:Contributions/&amp;#126;2025-50662-4|&amp;#126;2025-50662-4]] ([[User talk:&amp;#126;2025-50662-4|talk]]) 01:49, 29 September 2025 (UTC)
== Upcoming Dark Mode user interface rollout for anonymous Wikimedia sites users ==

{{int:Hello}} Wikimedians,

Apologies if this message is not in your language. {{int:please-translate}}.

The [[mw:Special:MyLanguage/Reading/Web|Reader Experience team]] will launch the Dark mode feature for anonymous users on all Wikimedia sites, including yours, on October 29, 2025.

[[:en:Special:MyLanguage/Light-on-dark color scheme|Dark mode]] is an option that allows users to view pages in light-coloured text, and icons on a dark background. Once it is available for anonymous users, they can enable it when using various devices. More information on ways to enable it can be found on [[:en:Special:MyLanguage/Wikipedia:Dark mode#Options for anyone|this page]].
Given many pages are still not compatible with dark mode this will be an opt-in feature and not automatically apply to pages.

Dark mode requires modifications to content pages and templates, and since our initial launch [https://diff.wikimedia.org/2024/07/17/dark-modes-bright-future-how-dark-mode-will-transform-wikipedias-accessibility/ in July 2024], we have been working with communities and helping them prepare for dark mode. Before the rollout, it is essential that template authors and technical contributors test dark mode and read [[mw:Special:MyLanguage/Reading/Web/Accessibility for reading/Updates/2024-04|this page]] to learn how to make pages Dark mode-ready and address any compatibility issues found in templates.

We will fix most color compatibility issues only on the most-viewed pages on projects with over 5 million monthly page views. Technical contributors with an account should opt into dark mode currently using preferences or settings and test pages and seek help before the release to ensure everything complies before the enablement.

If you have any questions or need help, please [[mw:Special:MyLanguage/Talk:Reading/Web/Accessibility for reading#|contact the Reader Experience team]] for support.

Thank you!

&lt;bdi lang=&quot;en&quot; dir=&quot;ltr&quot;&gt;[[User:UOzurumba (WMF)|UOzurumba (WMF)]]&lt;/bdi&gt; 02:08, 30 September 2025 (UTC)
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:UOzurumba (WMF)@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:UOzurumba_(WMF)/sandbox_Dark_mode_deployment_mass_message_list_(October_2025)&amp;oldid=29358561 --&gt;
== Current adminship rights request. ==

A discussion is now open at [[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship#Requests for interface administrator]], where longtime admin [[User:Saroj]] is seeking interface administrator rights. Cheers! [[User:BD2412|&lt;span style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE;{{text default color}};&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/span&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 04:30, 2 October 2025 (UTC)
== User:Jni vote of confidence? ==

*{{vandal|Jni}}

This was [[Wikiquote:Village_pump_archive_61#Inactive_admins_for_vote_of_confidence_review|brought up in 2022]] at the Village Pump. It does not appear that they replied either at the VP discussion or on their talk page. At the time, they had no edits in about a year and no logged actions in more than two. Currently they have no logged actions [[Special:Log/Jni|since 5 December 2021]] and have made only four edits following that date.

While Jni does seem to contribute elsewhere, it's not clear that they have an interest in participating on WQ.

We do not have a local inactivity policy at this time and Jni does not qualify under the [[:m:AAR|the global policy]], having made three edits in the past two years. However, a !vote of confidence as permitted by [[WQ:ADMIN]] may be appropriate and requires the consent of three users. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 18:19, 3 October 2025 (UTC)

:'''Remove''' Thanks for all your work, Jni. No prejudice against re-applying in the future. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 19:34, 3 October 2025 (UTC)
::I'm not an administrator so I'm not sure if I'm allowed to vote in this but I think I would concur with removal. [[User:PARAKANYAA|PARAKANYAA]] ([[User talk:PARAKANYAA|talk]]) 20:04, 3 October 2025 (UTC)
:::'''Support''' - seems like Jni is no longer active. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 01:09, 4 October 2025 (UTC)
:'''Remove''' – Thanks for their service, but inactive and unresponsive. Support VoC. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 03:39, 4 October 2025 (UTC)
:'''Self-removal requested'''. I have indeed been absent for too long and don't need the admin permissions here anymore. I have requested stewards to remove my sysop access at [[:m:Steward_requests/Permissions#Removal_of_access]] page, to save others' time with this process. Thanks all! [[User:Jni|jni]] ([[User talk:Jni|talk]]) 09:46, 5 October 2025 (UTC)
::Thank you for the time you've invested in the project and I hope to see you back when you can. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 13:05, 5 October 2025 (UTC)

== [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion]] ==

Thanks to {{re|Saroj}} for helping clear the backlog. We're now down to only 10 open. 

Just noting that we don't just need administrators there. Things would greatly benefit from more interaction from everyone. It doesn't work very well when lots of discussions are just one or two !votes from a small group of users. And admins can only contribute to VfD so much really, because there still has to be someone around to close. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 14:52, 5 October 2025 (UTC)
== Have your say: vote for the 2025 Board of Trustees ==

&lt;section begin=&quot;announcement-content&quot; /&gt;
Hello all,

The voting period for the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2025|2025 Board of Trustees election]] is now open. Candidates are running for two (2) seats on the Board.

To check your voter eligibility, please visit the [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2025/Voter eligibility guidelines|voter eligibility page]].

Learn more about them by [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation elections/2025/Candidates|reading their application statements and watch their candidacy videos]].

When you are ready, go to the [[m:Special:SecurePoll/vote/405|SecurePoll voting page to vote]].

'''The vote is open from October 8 at 00:00 UTC to October 22 at 23:59 UTC.'''

Best regards,

Abhishek Suryawanshi&lt;br /&gt;Chair, Elections Committee&lt;section end=&quot;announcement-content&quot; /&gt;

[[User:MediaWiki message delivery|MediaWiki message delivery]] ([[User talk:MediaWiki message delivery|talk]]) 04:48, 9 October 2025 (UTC)
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:RamzyM (WMF)@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Distribution_list/Global_message_delivery&amp;oldid=29360896 --&gt;
== AI generated articles ==

&lt;small&gt;Courtesy ping for {{Re|Bembety}}&lt;/small&gt;

There's been a number of AI generated articles created recently, tagged with #WikiactivateAI, and there are some issues. The most widespread seems to be that it is pulling quotes without regard to whether they make a lot of sense on their own.

* [[Mary Dinah]]: &quot;That was how we decided to go into the school feeding programme.&quot; &quot;It’s been about three to four years since we started in that region and it’s been absolutely successful.&quot; &quot;It still is my greatest high point in life.&quot; &quot;We will be doing much more in the coming months and years.&quot;
* [[Seanice Kacungira]]: &quot;The picture is of some of our Uganda team doing what we love to best in our free time, raising money for charity!&quot; &quot;I don’t think that any country, not just Kenya, but any African country.&quot; &quot;I don’t have those numbers in my head.&quot; &quot;I know that we feel very strongly that the suffering and the losses that were experienced are deeply regrettable and deplorable.&quot;
* [[Njideka Harry]]: &quot;I think overall more broadly of those societal challenges are still inexistence.&quot; &quot;Why we run gender sensitive programmes for women, girls.&quot;
* [[Denis Yarats]]: &quot;We start talking and like collaborating together.&quot; &quot;I'm super excited about it, but it is very important.&quot; &quot;We have a very good people who can generate it as well.&quot;

You get the idea. In at least one instance that I nominated at [[Wikiquote:Votes for deletion/Camtel]], it also pulled prose from the source that wasn't a quote at all. This is in addition to pulling contextless quotes, and quotes that are both contextless and routine corporate speak. Finally, it doesn't seem to very well or at all discriminate based on type or quality of source. It seems to just be looking for ''some source'' that has a lot of quotation marks or are clearly identified as an interview. 

I don't know what the best and most agreeable solution is here, but given the ease and rapidity with which these can be made, the quality of the content seems important. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 14:45, 9 October 2025 (UTC)

:Thanks for the reminder. I’ll make sure to double check all quotes before publishing, and I will not use that sign(&quot;) again. I swear in the name of the Lord who created me, I am not using AI to generate quotes. If you review the sources of the quotes, you’ll notice that the quotation marks (&quot;) are present, just as I’ve used them. Thanks  [[User:Bembety|Bembety]] ([[User talk:Bembety|talk]]) 15:27, 9 October 2025 (UTC)
::[[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] I have reviewed and corrected all the listed articles. Kindly check them again. Thank you. [[User:Bembety|Bembety]] ([[User talk:Bembety|talk]]) 22:48, 9 October 2025 (UTC)
== WMF board reform ==

The [[m:2025 WMF Board reform petition]] affects people from across the movement, so I'm posting this here. Feel free to let me know if there is a better venue on this project and I wrote this in the wrong place. I care and am always open to learning more about my fellow wikimedians. [[User:Clovermoss|Clovermoss]] ([[User talk:Clovermoss|talk]]) 20:58, 10 October 2025 (UTC)
== Quote of the Day ==

[[user:Kalki]] yet again ignoring votes at Quote of the Day, and changing his own vote without explanation at the last second. [[October 10]], [[Wikiquote:Quote of the day/October 10, 2025]]. Do we have a process here, or does Kalki just get to insert his choice whenever he feels like it? [[User:Ficaia|Ficaia]] ([[User talk:Ficaia|talk]]) 00:03, 10 October 2025 (UTC)

: In regard to your complaints on today's QOTD, '''I will simply again note for the third time, on each of the three places you have currently placed such complaints, that I have nearly always taken account of ALL the available suggestions on a QOTD suggestion page for a date, and make final choices among what seem to be the best ones in the last hours available to me to do so, before posting them, so as to keep options for new suggestions and quotes open so long as possible, while you have several times now seemed to be intent on simply interfering with the processes of my final selections by casting extremely disruptive and personally spiteful rankings down-voting WHATEVER I select, without any actual regard to merit of the quotes, even AFTER what you quite facetiously and usually quite WRONGLY tend to label &quot;the last second.&quot; You seem to take my failure to abjectly and absolutely subordinate my careful considerations among all available choices to your acts of very deliberate and malicious disruption as something to complain about as an injustice on my part.''' I consider this ludicrous. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 08:29, 10 October 2025 (UTC) + tweaks
::In reviewing what occurred here, I would agree with Kalki that it appears you made an attempt to be disruptive by selecting an obviously intentionally low rating for an otherwise acceptable quote simply because it had been suggested by Kalki. And I also do not understand the problem with ''any'' user changing their vote in this process, whether &quot;last minute&quot; or not. As to the larger question regarding the process of selecting the quotes, I believe that Kalki has certainly taken ownership of it over the years - but that was because there really was no one else stepping forward to help manage it. I personally don't have the bandwidth to contribute to this process regularly (with so much elsewhere to work on, including the nearly continuous deluge of new pages needing attention), but when I have been able to participate, I have found that discussion has worked to arrive at a good selection for the QOTD. The problem is more that there is so little participation by others. If there are disputes (and of course there have been over the years - regarding both the quote and image selections), the community has stepped in to correct it. This is not without the occasional argument, but by and large, I believe the process has been handled smoothly by Kalki - and I commend them for doing so. It is not an easy job - and it must be handled within a confined timeline every day. You and anyone else is welcome to be a part of that process, but I suggest a more rational approach to the voting than entering a 0 in an attempt to offset the vote that Kalki had entered (or if you do enter an extreme vote such as this, at least offer some explanation as to why you find the quote so inappropriate). I fully support and endorse Kalki in this process (even with the occasional bumps in the road that are usually quickly addressed). ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:07, 10 October 2025 (UTC)
:::So just to be clear: Kalki gets to choose QOTD whenever and wherever he wants. 
:::QOTD will forever be a stain on this project as a result. 
:::&quot;'''Every murderer is probably somebody’s old friend.&quot;''' -- run ''three days'' after Charlie Kirk's murder. Selected by Kalki despite Zarbon having rated it a 1, making it ineligible even with Kalki rating it a 4 at the last second.
:::Disgraceful [[User:Ficaia|Ficaia]] ([[User talk:Ficaia|talk]]) 23:58, 12 October 2025 (UTC)
== Help us decide the name of the new Abstract Wikipedia project ==

&lt;section begin=&quot;function1&quot;/&gt;
{{int:Hello}}. Please help pick a name for the new Abstract Wikipedia wiki project. This project will be a wiki that will enable users to combine functions from [[:f:|Wikifunctions]] and data from Wikidata in order to generate natural language sentences in any supported languages. These sentences can then be used by any Wikipedia (or elsewhere).

There will be two rounds of voting, each followed by legal review of candidates, with votes beginning on 20 October and 17 November 2025. Our goal is to have a final project name selected on mid-December 2025. If you would like to participate, then '''[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Abstract Wikipedia/Abstract Wikipedia naming contest|please learn more and vote now]]''' at meta-wiki.
{{Int:Feedback-thanks-title}}
&lt;section end=&quot;function1&quot;/&gt;

-- [[User:Sannita (WMF)|User:Sannita (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Sannita (WMF)|talk]]) 11:43, 20 October 2025 (UTC)
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:Sannita (WMF)@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Distribution_list/Global_message_delivery&amp;oldid=29432175 --&gt;
== How Do I Correct Misspelling in the Title of an Article? ==

I created the Ann Swinburne Munroe article, but had misspelled her name.
Here is the article: [[Ann Swinbourne Munroe]] [[User:Starlighsky|Starlighsky]] ([[User talk:Starlighsky|talk]]) 15:34, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

:I moved the page to the correctly spelled name (and tidied up some formatting). ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 15:53, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

== Seeking volunteers to join several of the movement’s committees ==

&lt;section begin=&quot;announcement-content&quot; /&gt;
Each year, typically from October through December, several of the movement’s committees seek new volunteers. 

Read more about the committees on their Meta-wiki pages:
* [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Affiliations Committee|Affiliations Committee (AffCom)]]
* [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Ombuds commission|Ombuds commission (OC)]]
* [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation/Legal/Community Resilience and Sustainability/Trust and Safety/Case Review Committee|Case Review Committee (CRC)]]

Applications for the committees open on October 30, 2025. Applications for the Affiliations Committee, Ombuds commission and the Case Review Committee close on December 11, 2025. Learn how to apply by [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wikimedia Foundation/Legal/Committee appointments|visiting the appointment page on Meta-wiki]]. Post to the talk page or email cst[[File:At sign.svg|16x16px|link=|(_AT_)]]wikimedia.org with any questions you may have.

For the Committee Support team,
&lt;section end=&quot;announcement-content&quot; /&gt;

-[[m:User:MKaur (WMF)| MKaur (WMF)]] 14:13, 30 October 2025 (UTC)
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:MKaur (WMF)@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Distribution_list/Global_message_delivery&amp;oldid=29517125 --&gt;
== Request to create new author page: Kenny R. Placencio ==

Hello Wikiquote editors,

I recently verified my account and attempted to create a new author page titled &quot;Kenny R. Placencio,&quot; 
but the &quot;Create&quot; button remains inactive. I believe this may be due to the new-account restriction.

Could an administrator please assist or enable page creation for this entry?

Here is the content I am trying to publish:

== Kenny R. Placencio ==

'''Kenny R. Placencio''' (born 1991 in the Bronx, New York City) is an American philosopher, poet, and creative thinker. 
He is known for his original philosophical reflections exploring resilience, identity, and shared humanity.

=== Quotes ===
* &quot;Resemblance is more visible in struggle.&quot;
:: — First published by Kenny R. Placencio on verified social media (LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook), October 2025.

== References ==

* [https://www.linkedin.com/in/kenny-placencio-8b946136a LinkedIn post by Kenny R. Placencio (October 2025)]
* [https://www.instagram.com/tiguereplacencio/ Instagram publication (October 2025)]
* [https://www.brooklyn.cuny.edu Brooklyn College official website]

[[:Category:1991 births]]
[[:Category:People from the Bronx]]
[[:Category:American philosophers]]
[[:Category:American poets]]
[[:Category:American writers]]
[[:Category:Brooklyn College alumni]]
[[:Category:2025 works]]
[[:Category:Quotes about struggle]]

Thank you for your help!
— Kenny R. Placencio [[User:Placenciorimvil|Placenciorimvil]] ([[User talk:Placenciorimvil|talk]]) 17:16, 1 November 2025 (UTC)
== category help check? ==

Hello, I rarely contribute to wikipedia and wikiquotes. I get really nervous when I attempt to help out. That being said, may someone check my category/editing history to confirm I'm doing things correctly? [[User:Ilikememes128|Ilikememes128]] ([[User talk:Ilikememes128|talk]]) 13:55, 3 November 2025 (UTC)

:You performed the right steps, but in two of the three, you added general categories that were not really needed. For example, on [[Gina Bianchini]], you added [[:Category:Women from the United States]], but there already was the category [[:Category:Businesswomen from the United States]]/ In this case, [[:Category:Businesswomen from the United States]] is already a subcategory of [[:Category:Women from the United States]], so it is not necessary to add it as well. Make sense? I'll make the appropriate changes to those three pages you edited - just remember that sometimes the general categories are redundant. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 14:54, 3 November 2025 (UTC)
== family guy vandalism? ==

a lot of family guy pages seem to be plagued by non-account users that add nonsense edits.
examples:

https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Family_Guy/Season_21&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3671214

https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Family_Guy/Season_18&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3481664

https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Family_Guy/Season_19&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3451807

these edits make slight changes that are obviously inaccurate if you've seen the scenes in question. is there something that can be done about this [[User:Warpfrz|Warpfrz]] ([[User talk:Warpfrz|talk]]) 16:25, 4 November 2025 (UTC)

:I have a lack of experience concerning '''&quot;Wikiquote in English&quot;''' because I made less than 10 edits.
:I'm not familiarised with '''&quot;Family Guy&quot;''' to verify the content.
:&lt;br /&gt;
:If you think that edits make slight changes that are obviously innacurate. You can correct these yourself.
:&quot;[[Wikiquote:Vandalism in progress]]&quot; and &quot;[[Wikiquote:Administrators%27_noticeboard]]&quot; can be useful in the worsecase if you suspect vandalism but what I seen are edits made under different IP backed from some month. Therefore , these pages seems to me unsuseful for the moment. 
:&lt;br /&gt;
:I apply &quot;[[Wikiquote:Assume good faith]]&quot; because I'm unable to determinate if this is vandalism or not. [[User:Anatole-berthe|Anatole-berthe]] ([[User talk:Anatole-berthe|talk]]) 04:29, 5 November 2025 (UTC)
== Wikiquote doesn't update sometimes? ==

It looks like it is being updated now. I noticed before some times it is stuck on a day. I can go to the link for the month and day and find it there. But somehow it doesn't show up in wikiquote?
If it happens again I will link the affected page. [[Special:Contributions/&amp;#126;2025-30874-78|&amp;#126;2025-30874-78]] ([[User talk:&amp;#126;2025-30874-78|talk]]) 18:40, 1 November 2025 (UTC)

:It looks like the Wikiquote page is stuck on a day. Can you provide an explanation? [[User:Left page|&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue&quot;&gt;⬅️ '''Left page'''&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Left page|'''discuss''']]) 19:25, 12 November 2025 (UTC)

== Vandalism detected. ==

I found some weird vandalism by a temporary account ([[User: ~2025-69274-6|~2025-69274-6]]). Can you block this user from editing with an expiration time of indefinite?

Also, this user is vandalizing pages and making test edits. [[User:Left page|&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue&quot;&gt;⬅️ '''Left page'''&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Left page|'''discuss''']]) 19:39, 12 November 2025 (UTC)

:{{done}} Please report similar cases at [[Wikiquote:Vandalism in progress]] next time so they can be handled promptly. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 01:04, 13 November 2025 (UTC)
== The Wikiquote Page is not updating? ==

When I looked at the Wikiquote page today and yesterday its stuck on Monday November 10th? [[Special:Contributions/&amp;#126;2025-33043-65|&amp;#126;2025-33043-65]] ([[User talk:&amp;#126;2025-33043-65|talk]]) 17:49, 12 November 2025 (UTC)

:{{Done}} &amp;ndash; The issue now has been fixed in the [[main page]]. [[User:Left page|&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue&quot;&gt;⬅️ '''Left page'''&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Left page|'''discuss''']]) 19:18, 12 November 2025 (UTC)
::Its back to Monday today? [[Special:Contributions/&amp;#126;2025-33357-98|&amp;#126;2025-33357-98]] ([[User talk:&amp;#126;2025-33357-98|talk]]) 17:09, 13 November 2025 (UTC)
:::If you encountered an issue where it's back to Monday, November 10, 2025. [[User:Left page|&lt;span style=&quot;color:blue&quot;&gt;⬅️ '''Left page'''&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Left page|'''discuss''']]) 17:17, 13 November 2025 (UTC)
== A Wikipedia topic that had been constantly deleted, salted and repeatedly re-created due to notability now has its own page thanks to significant coverage ==

It's [[w:Battle for Dream Island|BFDI]] if you're curious, and since the Fandom pages have their own episode transcripts and character quotes, it's only logical for it to be on here, right? Please talk with staff and anyone associated with the corresponding page for any confirmation. [[User:Mod creator|Mod creator]] ([[User talk:Mod creator|talk]]) 01:24, 15 November 2025 (UTC)

:'''&quot;Wikipedia in English&quot;''' is not '''&quot;Wikiquote in English&quot;'''. There are different projects. Each project have its own rules.
:Concerning '''&quot;Wikipedia in English&quot;''' , do you know that fandom isn't considered as a reliable source ? [[User:Anatole-berthe|Anatole-berthe]] ([[User talk:Anatole-berthe|talk]]) 03:40, 16 November 2025 (UTC)
== Reminder: Help us decide the name of the new Abstract Wikipedia project ==

&lt;section begin=&quot;function2&quot;/&gt;
{{int:Hello}}. Reminder: Please help to choose name for the new Abstract Wikipedia wiki project. The finalist vote starts today. The finalists for the name are: &lt;span lang=&quot;en&quot; dir=&quot;ltr&quot; class=&quot;mw-content-ltr&quot;&gt;Abstract Wikipedia, Multilingual Wikipedia, Wikiabstracts, Wikigenerator, Proto-Wiki&lt;/span&gt;. If you would like to participate, then '''[[m:Special:MyLanguage/Abstract Wikipedia/Abstract Wikipedia naming contest|please learn more and vote now]]''' at meta-wiki.
{{Int:Feedback-thanks-title}}
&lt;section end=&quot;function2&quot;/&gt;

-- [[User:Sannita (WMF)|User:Sannita (WMF)]] ([[User talk:Sannita (WMF)|talk]]) 14:22, 20 November 2025 (UTC)
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:Sannita (WMF)@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Distribution_list/Global_message_delivery&amp;oldid=29583860 --&gt;
== Categories connected to Wikidata ==

Hello, I contribute to Wikiquote in French and I see most of the categories here aren't connected to Wikidata (in fact 4 892). Could you please help me by connecting them with there Wikidata items, I can't do this alone ? They exist but with other names so it's difficult to find them by searching on Wikidata. For instance, [[:Category:Women from Jamaica by occupation]]  here is called '''Category:Jamaican women by occupation''' on Wikidata. It's the same structure for all categories. &lt;br&gt;
Thank you [[User:An insect photographer|An insect photographer]] ([[User talk:An insect photographer|talk]]) 15:10, 19 November 2025 (UTC)

:Hi @[[User:An insect photographer|An insect photographer]],
:The category names are a bit different because enwikiquote follows the Commons-style categorization, which doesn’t always match Wikidata’s naming.
:I’d be happy to help you connect them to the correct Wikidata items—let’s work on mapping them together. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 15:33, 19 November 2025 (UTC)
::Thank you ! [[User:An insect photographer|An insect photographer]] ([[User talk:An insect photographer|talk]]) 15:53, 20 November 2025 (UTC)

== COI edit request for [[Nasser Khalili]] article ==

Hello, I want to suggest an edit in an area where I have a Conflict Of Interest. I can't find a COI edit request process on Wikiquote, so am making a suggestion here for review by an uninvolved contributor. The Nasser Khalili page has [[Nasser Khalili#Quotes_about_Khalili|a section for quotes about Khalili]]. On 7 November 2025, [https://www.jewishnews.co.uk/freedom-of-london-for-jewish-art-scholar-whos-amassed-worlds-largest-collection-of-islamic-art/ this ''Jewish News'' article was published] in which the Lord Mayor of London [[:w:Alastair John Naisbitt King|Alastair King]] is quoted describing Khalili as “one of [the] world’s foremost champions of cultural philanthropy. He’s shown how culture can be bridge and not a barrier between people and cultures”. I offer that for inclusion, but leave the decision up to the community. [[User:MartinPoulter|MartinPoulter]] ([[User talk:MartinPoulter|talk]]) 14:21, 21 November 2025 (UTC)
== Fair use on [[The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning]] ==

I'm not familiar with Wikiquote policies, but this seems to be the entire script of the film, which I'm certain is a copyright infringement if not also some other problem. Someone who knows how Wikiquote works should probably take a look and do some cleanup. It's also worth noting that the last editor on that page, {{u|Byron Comp 3}}, was blocked from Wikipedia for repeatedly adding copyright violations and failing to communicate with anyone (if someone blocks them, it's probably also worth blocking {{w|WP:SPI/Byron Comp 3|their 4 sockpuppets}}). [[User:lp0 on fire|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #c56030&quot;&gt;lp0&amp;nbsp;on&amp;nbsp;fire&lt;/span&gt;]]&amp;nbsp;[[User talk:lp0 on fire|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #64cea0&quot;&gt;()&lt;/span&gt;]] 14:10, 5 December 2025 (UTC)
== Current RfA ==

There’s an RfA for Codename Noreste currently up at [[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship]]. Anyone interested can check it out and share their thoughts. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 06:14, 10 December 2025 (UTC)
== efn on wikiquote? ==

wikipedia has the template [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Template:Efn Efn]. is there an equivalent template on wikiquote? efn doesn't seem to work. [[User:Warpfrz|Warpfrz]] ([[User talk:Warpfrz|talk]]) 08:39, 26 November 2025 (UTC)
* Wikiquote does not have an equivalent template because Wikiquote eschews footnotes. ~ [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] ([[User talk:Ningauble|talk]]) 18:50, 10 December 2025 (UTC)
== Abuse filter requests ==

I would like to introduce a new abuse filter and a modification idea for [[Special:AbuseFilter/36]]:
* Wikiquote has lately been experiencing vandalism from unregistered users, and I often see abuse log entries of unregistered users editing (attempting to or actually editing) others' user pages. Therefore, I would suggest importing [[:b:Special:AbuseFilter/40]] to here from English Wikibooks.
* Filter 36 should also disallow non-autoconfirmed users from creating others' user subpages, not just unregistered users. Here are the suggested conditions below:
&lt;syntaxhighlight lang=&quot;wikitext&quot;&gt;
page_id == 0 &amp;
page_namespace == 2 &amp;
page_title contains &quot;/&quot; &amp;
!(page_title contains user_name) &amp;
!(&quot;autoconfirmed&quot; in user_rights)
&lt;/syntaxhighlight&gt;
When these local filters are implemented, I'll modify a global filter to opt out this project. Thanks. [[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]]) 00:15, 7 December 2025 (UTC)
: {{done}} per lack of objection, filters created/modified accordingly. [[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]]) 00:34, 15 December 2025 (UTC)

== Enable the abuse filter block feature? ==

{{tracked|T413530|resolved}}
So, given the recurring amount of LTA vandalism (and especially &lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Meet_the_Fockers&amp;action=history this]&lt;/span&gt;), I would like to propose enabling the block option in this project's AbuseFilter extension; however, it should '''only''' be used to deal with clear cases of LTA abuse, such as the link I included. Thoughts? [[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]]) 20:20, 12 December 2025 (UTC)

:Thank you for bringing this up. Given the recurring LTA vandalism we’ve been encountering, particularly in situations like the one you mentioned, I would be supportive of enabling the AbuseFilter block option. As long as it is applied carefully and limited to clear, well-established cases of LTA abuse, it seems like a reasonable and practical step. Cautious use and oversight would be important to ensure it’s not applied too broadly. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 18:34, 14 December 2025 (UTC)
== New blocked text ==

administrator: change the [[MediaWiki:Blockedtext]] to like this:

&lt;div style=&quot;clear: both; border: 2px solid #ffe2e2; margin: 0em; background-color: #fff5f5; padding-bottom: 0.5em;;color:var(--color-base-fixed:#202122);&quot;&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;background: #ffe2e2; padding-top: 0.1em; padding-bottom: 0.1em; text-align: center; font-size: larger; width: 100%;color:var(--color-base-fixed:#202122);&quot;&gt;'''Your account or IP address has been blocked.'''&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;padding-top: 0.4em; padding-bottom: 0.3em;&quot;&gt;&lt;table border=0 align=&quot;center&quot; cellpadding=&quot;0&quot; cellspacing=&quot;0&quot;&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;
&lt;td valign=&quot;top&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;
&lt;!-- use template:qotd to edit --&gt;
$7, You have been blocked by $1 for this reason: ''$2''&lt;br&gt;
* Start of block: $8
* Expiration of block: $6
* Block ID: #$5
* Current IP address: $3
&lt;/td&gt;
&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;/table&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;noinclude&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #e2e2ff;{{text default color}}; border: 2px solid #e2e2ff; border-bottom: none; padding-top: 0.3em; padding-bottom: 0.3em; font-size: large;&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;
'''What can I do now?'''
&lt;/div&gt;

&lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #f8f8ff;{{text default color}}; border: 2px solid #e2e2ff; border-top: none; padding: 0.6em; padding-top: none;&quot;&gt;
*If instructions are given above in the block message, follow them.
*If you have never edited Wikiquote before and/or do not have an account, consider creating one.

If you wish to appeal the block, or you believe you have been blocked by mistake, please see the following section.

The current block will automatically expire $6. You have many routes to appeal the block or its duration. Firstly, if you are a registered user and have a valid e-mail address confirmed, you can contact $1 via e-mail. This feature can be removed if abused.

Alternatively, you may appeal the block by requesting that another administrator review the block. To do so, add &lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{unblock|your reason here}}&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt; to the bottom of your user talk page to request unblocking. You must state a reason for this, and the block can then be discussed. Our guide to appealing blocks might help you in composing a persuasive unblock request.

If $7 is not blocked, your IP address ($3) or range may have been blocked. Please check here. If this is the case, please copy and paste the following text to the bottom of your user talk page.

&lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;{{unblock-ip|1=$3|2=&lt;nowiki&gt;$2&lt;/nowiki&gt;|3=$1}}&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt;

'''Please note''': While this block may be upsetting or unexpected, abuse of appeal processes, repeatedly using the unblock template when denied, personal attacks, or impolite conduct may lead to the removal of your ability to edit your talk page.&lt;/div&gt;[[Special:Contributions/&amp;#126;2025-35059-43|&amp;#126;2025-35059-43]] ([[User talk:&amp;#126;2025-35059-43|talk]]) 05:16, 20 November 2025 (UTC)

:are they waiting for so long? [[Special:Contributions/&amp;#126;2025-34907-64|&amp;#126;2025-34907-64]] ([[User talk:&amp;#126;2025-34907-64|talk]]) 16:32, 20 November 2025 (UTC)
: {{declined}}, blocked for sockpuppetry. [[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]]) 19:51, 23 December 2025 (UTC)
== Request for New Author Page: Shon Mehta (Philosopher/Author) ==

I am requesting the creation of an author page for Shon Mehta. She is an author and philosopher whose work is included in the Oxford University Press (Headway 5th Ed) and Indian SCERT curriculum. Her quotes, such as 'Maybe I am a villain in your story...' (from the novel The Timingila, ISBN: 978-0692108031), are widely cited but often misattributed to 'Anonymous' online. I have provided source citations for her core works to assist an editor in building this page. [[User:TinaTami|TinaTami]] ([[User talk:TinaTami|talk]]) 06:52, 3 January 2026 (UTC)
== Quotes about, in stead of from the person in article. ==

Mostly I'm active on nl:wiki so new here on Wikiquote. 
I noticed that in [[Ramin Hosseinpour]], all quotes are about the artist, not from him and I presumed we collect sourced quotations ''from'' notable people here. We're having some issues with the Dutch-languaged Wikipedia article about the artist, and the article about his short film concerning verifiability (we're following up on that) and there seem to have been some issues with the information on Wikidata, that people have looked into, so perhaps this is a crosswiki issue, concerning the artist and his work as a subject.
One of our moderators suggested to bring this to the attention here on Wikiquote. Hope someone here can look into it as well. Thanks. [[User:Jaap-073|Jaap-073]] ([[User talk:Jaap-073|talk]]) 19:58, 4 January 2026 (UTC)

:@[[User:Jaap-073|Jaap-073]] Well, we should primarily have quotes from the person, but 'quotes about' are also fine and good, though I would maybe hold them to a higher standard when it comes to &quot;interestingness&quot;. If you can't find any quotes from the person worth keeping in most cases (historical people I would treat differently) I would not have a page. [[User:PARAKANYAA|PARAKANYAA]] ([[User talk:PARAKANYAA|talk]]) 20:59, 4 January 2026 (UTC)
::Thanks for the explanation @[[User:PARAKANYAA|PARAKANYAA]]. Just to be sure I understand: So in principle it's okay (allowed, not forbidden)  but for a page to exist here we do focus on the quotations from the person in question? [[User:Jaap-073|Jaap-073]] ([[User talk:Jaap-073|talk]]) 21:10, 4 January 2026 (UTC)
:::@[[User:Jaap-073|Jaap-073]] I'm not sure if it is an official rule, but that is what I read from the way Wikiquote's guidelines are set up. Also, he isn't enwiki notable and the enwiki page is very salted which suggests a promotional history. We do delete pages for only having mundane quotes, and that is very much the case for the page you mention, which only has aggressively flattering promotional statements with no quotability or depth.
:::I would vote to delete this, personally. [[User:PARAKANYAA|PARAKANYAA]] ([[User talk:PARAKANYAA|talk]]) 21:13, 4 January 2026 (UTC)
::::A Steward on nl:wiki has just put a global block in place on the account in question, and said something about socks (probably sock-puppetry) because problems arose in multiple languages.
::::My gut instinct was, this may have been a way to generate attention and promote the artist and his work. Perhaps the same goes for this Wikiquote page, and then I'd second the motion but as this was my first edit here in quote-land I would prefer to humbly submit to your collective wisdom as what is to be done here. Thanks again. [[User:Jaap-073|Jaap-073]] ([[User talk:Jaap-073|talk]]) 21:20, 4 January 2026 (UTC)
:::::@[[User:Jaap-073|Jaap-073]] I will nominate this for speedy deletion. If that doesn't work I will take it to VfD. [[User:PARAKANYAA|PARAKANYAA]] ([[User talk:PARAKANYAA|talk]]) 21:28, 4 January 2026 (UTC)
::::::Thank you @[[User:PARAKANYAA|PARAKANYAA]].
::::::If I get around to it, I'll try to fin a source for &quot;I don't argue, I explain&quot; by Violet Crawley, The Dowager Countess of Grantham, for the Downton Abbey entry here. Much more fun imho. [[User:Jaap-073|Jaap-073]] ([[User talk:Jaap-073|talk]]) 21:34, 4 January 2026 (UTC)
:{{Deleted}} [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 04:56, 5 January 2026 (UTC)
== Second proposal: add some protection levels? ==

I am proposing on adding any of the following protection levels to this project.

=== Proposal 1: Autopatroller protection ===
[[File:Padlock-blue.svg|80px|right]]
This involves adding a new user right for protection, &lt;code&gt;editautopatrolprotected&lt;/code&gt;, in which only autopatrollers, patrollers, administrators, and bots can edit pages with this protection.

It would be used when semi-protection has proven to be inefficient, or to prevent sockpuppetry or edit wars, but it might also be used on templates where semi-protection would not be enough to prevent vandalism. We might need to consider updating the [[Wikiquote:Protection policy|protection policy]] soon, given that autopatroller protection should ''not'' be indefinite in articles.

=== Proposal 2: Template editor protection ===
[[File:Padlock-pink.svg|80px|right]]
In the second proposal (or if the first proposal is unsuccessful), a new user group would be created, [[:d:Q15080994|Project:Template editors]] (with the &lt;code&gt;templateeditor&lt;/code&gt; user right).

This protection should be used only on high-risk templates/Lua modules where full protection would otherwise be too restrictive, unless such templates are used in the interface/system messages (in the latter, full protection would be useful).

=== In conclusion... ===
Thoughts? [[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]]) 20:35, 23 December 2025 (UTC)

:I support adding autopatroller protection as a practical middle ground when semi-protection fails, but I don't think a separate template editor protection is necessary at this stage, as full protection already covers high-risk templates and it’s better to try one change first and reassess later. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 16:50, 5 January 2026 (UTC)
== Proposal: Create a Patrollers User Group ==

{{tracked|T413848|resolved}}
Hi everyone,

I'd like to suggest creating a ''Patrollers'' user group on English Wikiquote. This would let trusted, active users help with routine patrolling by having their own edits automatically marked as patrolled and by marking other users’ edits as patrolled, easing some of the day-to-day workload for admins.

English Wikiquote currently doesn't have a non-admin group focused on patrolling, though similar groups exist on other Wikimedia projects. Adding one here could improve recent changes review and general maintenance.

The group could include the &lt;code&gt;autopatrol&lt;/code&gt; and &lt;code&gt;patrol&lt;/code&gt; rights, with membership granted by admins based on trust and activity. Feedback on usefulness and scope would be welcome.

Thanks. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 18:30, 14 December 2025 (UTC)
: That would be &lt;code&gt;patroller&lt;/code&gt; in the MediaWiki software, but would it also make sense to create an autopatroller (&lt;code&gt;autopatrolled&lt;/code&gt;) user group? Simply, autopatrollers solely have their own edits automatically marked as patrolled (in addition to patrollers and administrators). [[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]]) 19:16, 14 December 2025 (UTC)
::I think a separate autopatroller group could definitely be useful. It would help by automatically marking the edits of trusted users, without giving them broader patrolling responsibilities. That way, admins and patrollers can focus more on reviewing newer or higher-risk edits. Having both groups, with clear scopes, could keep things flexible and reduce routine workload if the community feels it’s a good fit. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 03:41, 17 December 2025 (UTC)
:::Sounds like a good idea to me. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 13:14, 17 December 2025 (UTC)
: &lt;s&gt;For (upcoming) patrollers and administrators, I would suggest that for these user groups, we can also add the &lt;code&gt;patrolmarks&lt;/code&gt; user right, which should add a red exclamation mark next to non-patrolled page creations in recent changes.&lt;/s&gt; &lt;small&gt;(turns out those with &lt;code&gt;patrol&lt;/code&gt; already have &lt;code&gt;patrolmarks&lt;/code&gt; already)&lt;/small&gt; [[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]]) 18:59, 17 December 2025 (UTC)
: [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] and [[User:UDScott|UDScott]], the user groups have been implemented hours ago. I will make their respective pages, but we need to decide a criteria for granting and revocation. [[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]]) 05:19, 9 January 2026 (UTC)
::I think granting and revoking these rights can mainly rely on admin discretion, guided by an editor's activity, trustworthiness, and understanding of Wikiquote norms. Keeping the criteria lightweight should help keep things flexible without adding unnecessary bureaucracy. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 07:06, 10 January 2026 (UTC)
:::Agreed. Let's keep the criterias simple and lightweight. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 08:09, 10 January 2026 (UTC)
== Thank You for Last Year – Join Wiki Loves Ramadan 2026 ==

Dear Wikimedia communities,

We hope you are doing well, and we wish you a happy New Year.

''Last year, we captured light. This year, we’ll capture legacy.''

In 2025, communities around the world shared the glow of Ramadan nights and the warmth of collective iftars. In 2026, ''Wiki Loves Ramadan'' is expanding, bringing more stories, more cultures, and deeper global connections across Wikimedia projects.

We invite you to explore the ''Wiki Loves Ramadan 2026'' [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wiki Loves Ramadan 2026|Meta page]] to learn how you can participate and [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wiki Loves Ramadan 2026/Participating communities|sign up]] your community.

📷 ''Photo campaign on '' [[c:Special:MyLanguage/Commons:Wiki Loves Ramadan 2026|Wikimedia Commons]]

If you have questions about the project, please refer to the FAQs:  
* [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Wiki Loves Ramadan/FAQ/|Meta-Wiki]]
* [[c:Special:MyLanguage/Commons:Wiki Loves Ramadan/FAQ|Wikimedia Commons]]

''Early registration for updates is now open via the '''[[m:Special:RegisterForEvent/2710|Event page]]'''''

''Stay connected and receive updates:''  
* [https://t.me/WikiLovesRamadan Telegram channel]  
* [https://lists.wikimedia.org/postorius/lists/wikilovesramadan.lists.wikimedia.org/ Mailing list]

We look forward to collaborating with you and your community.


'''The Wiki Loves Ramadan 2026 Organizing Team''' 19:45, 16 January 2026 (UTC)
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:ZI Jony@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Distribution_list/Non-Technical_Village_Pumps_distribution_list&amp;oldid=29879549 --&gt;
== Annual review of the Universal Code of Conduct and Enforcement Guidelines ==

&lt;section begin=&quot;announcement-content&quot; /&gt;
I am writing to you to let you know the annual review period for the Universal Code of Conduct and Enforcement Guidelines is open now. You can make suggestions for changes through 9 February 2026. This is the first step of several to be taken for the annual review. [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Universal Code of Conduct/Annual review/2026|Read more information and find a conversation to join on the UCoC page on Meta]].

The [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Universal Code of Conduct/Coordinating Committee|Universal Code of Conduct Coordinating Committee]] (U4C) is a global group dedicated to providing an equitable and consistent implementation of the UCoC. This annual review was planned and implemented by the U4C. For more information and the responsibilities of the U4C, [[m:Special:MyLanguage/Universal Code of Conduct/Coordinating Committee/Charter|you may review the U4C Charter]].

Please share this information with other members in your community wherever else might be appropriate.

-- In cooperation with the U4C, [[m:User:Keegan (WMF)|Keegan (WMF)]] ([[m:User talk:Keegan (WMF)|talk]])&lt;section end=&quot;announcement-content&quot; /&gt;

21:02, 19 January 2026 (UTC)
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:Keegan (WMF)@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Distribution_list/Global_message_delivery&amp;oldid=29905753 --&gt;
== Redesigning the main page and its templates ==

I created [[User:Codename Noreste/MP]], which heavily borrows elements from [[:species:Template:Boîte colorée]]. Therefore, I would like to propose that we implement this on the [[Main Page]], and to set [[MediaWiki:Mainpage-title]] and [[MediaWiki:Mainpage-title-loggedin]] to blank (no content) so that the Main Page has a portal-like design.

In addition, I would also like to propose that we rename the following templates, mainly for consistency purposes:
* [[Template:Main page header]] to [[Main Page/Header]]
* [[Template:Main Page Quote of the day]] to [[Main Page/Quote of the day]]
* [[Template:Main Page Selected pages]] to [[Main Page/Selected pages]]
* [[Template:Main categories]] to [[Main Page/Main categories]]
* [[Template:New pages]] to [[Main Page/New pages]]
* [[Template:Main Page Community]] to [[Main Page/Community]]

With the possible exception of the new pages template, all other templates mentioned above would remain fully protected. Thoughts? [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 00:10, 8 February 2026 (UTC)

:Definite improvement and great idea to give it a spring clean but would it be possible to get all the columns to collapse on a smaller device? Mobiles dominate now so ideally WQ home page should read well in portrait mode. The top section, Main categories, Sister projects are all in columns that don't fit well or size on smaller devices. Quote of the Day maybe too, the smaller icons are quite hard to see. The images wrapping around in that section should be possible rather than flanking the text? The wikipedia home page sizes well on small screens. Possible to borrow from that? Sister projects for example. [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 08:28, 8 February 2026 (UTC)
::Just had a quick look and I can see that would involve changing the templates used by the main page. Maybe produce a new version if needed rather than rename the legacy version as you suggest? [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 08:42, 8 February 2026 (UTC)
:::Hi, [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]]. I will answer the following:
:::* I don't think it's possible to collapse the columns for mobile, given that I am planning to use a TemplateStyles CSS page for them.
:::* My plan is that, after I implement the new code changes to the templates, and after moving them quickly, I will try to fix the Main Page quickly. Alternatively, I can create the new versions and try to merge with their existing counterparts, but I feel hesitant to do so since [[Special:MergeHistory]] might be complicated.
:::[[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 15:12, 8 February 2026 (UTC)
::::ok @[[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]], I can see my mobile first suggestion (similar to Wikipedia) is a bit of a deviation from your plans. I haven't worked with the templates so I am not sure of the all technicalities, and can't see the MergeHistory page as I don't have admin rights. Doing things in stages rather than big bang definitely makes sense though as its easier to test and less likely to have unintended consequences. [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 18:16, 8 February 2026 (UTC)
:::::I'll go ahead and implement the changes by 00:00 UTC or maybe tomorrow given that there are no recent objections here. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 19:45, 8 February 2026 (UTC)
: I am not familiar with many of the reasons which might exist for many of the formatting changes that have been going on, but have accepted them for the most part, and I will state that I have no objection to the above intentions — I had meant to state such earlier, but had distractions and other things to attend to earlier — as I do now. &lt;small&gt;''[[Dharma|So]] [[Necessity|it]] [[Kenosis|goes]]''[[Eternity|…]]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;big&gt; [[Monism|⨀]][[Awareness|∴]][[Life|☥]][[Peace|☮]][[Love|♥]][[Understanding|∵]][[Om|ॐ]] [[Karma|…]]&lt;/big&gt;''[[Blessings]]''. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 22:51, 8 February 2026 (UTC)
:Per the lack of objections raised, this is now {{done|implemented}}. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 15:54, 10 February 2026 (UTC)

== Ongoing request for bureaucratship ==

There is an ongoing request for bureaucratship at [[Wikiquote:Requests for bureaucratship/Saroj]]. Community members are invited to review and comment. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 06:41, 11 February 2026 (UTC)
== Adding Quote ==

i wanted to add a quote but dont know if i can/should. i dont know the guidlines for adding a quote and the citation needed for it [[User:Ducklan|Ducklan]] ([[User talk:Ducklan|talk]]) 18:37, 10 February 2026 (UTC)

:Could you give more information? What is the quote and who said it? [[User:Cagliost|Cagliost]] ([[User talk:Cagliost|talk]]) 22:27, 10 February 2026 (UTC)
::theodore roosevelt-&quot;By God! if you try anything like that, I’ll kick you, I’ll bite you, I’ll kick you in the balls, I’ll do anything to you—you’d better leave me alone.&quot; i dont know if it meets notable quote guidlines but its one of my alltime favorite quotes, also i dont know how to format it/the amount of citations needed [[User talk:Ducklan|Ducklan (Quack Back)]] 19:19, 11 February 2026 (UTC)
:::I have found some sources and added it to [[Theodore Roosevelt#1880s]]. [[User:Cagliost|Cagliost]] ([[User talk:Cagliost|talk]]) 22:45, 11 February 2026 (UTC)
::::Thank you so much [[User talk:Ducklan|Ducklan (Quack Back)]] 20:40, 12 February 2026 (UTC)
== Wikiquote not updating ==

Today, 2/14, I'm looking at wikiquote and it's still stuck on Wednesday 2/11. I wouldn't bring this up (again) but I used to be able to go the current date and find the quote for that day via some calendar link for all quotes. What happened to that? Looks like this page was revamped? It is clearer to read but looks like some older functionality was removed or moved? [[Special:Contributions/&amp;#126;2026-10052-36|&amp;#126;2026-10052-36]] ([[User talk:&amp;#126;2026-10052-36|talk]]) 19:37, 14 February 2026 (UTC)

:Which page are you referring to? [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 15:22, 15 February 2026 (UTC)
::I'm referring to the old version of wikiquote. There was a link on the wikiquote page itself that let you look up quotes for any month or day. Then you could scroll through the years to see a specific quote for that month and day. [[Special:Contributions/&amp;#126;2026-10302-19|&amp;#126;2026-10302-19]] ([[User talk:&amp;#126;2026-10302-19|talk]]) 17:38, 15 February 2026 (UTC)
:::This is due to recent updates on [[Main Page/Quote of the day]], as discussed [[#Redesigning the main page and its templates|above]]. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 18:48, 15 February 2026 (UTC)
::::I went ahead and restored the subtitle below the QOTD. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 00:11, 16 February 2026 (UTC)
== Thank You! ==

Thanks for the restoration! [[Special:Contributions/&amp;#126;2026-10497-51|&amp;#126;2026-10497-51]] ([[User talk:&amp;#126;2026-10497-51|talk]]) 17:30, 16 February 2026 (UTC)

:Per the section above, I restored the headline below the quote(s). You're welcome. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 19:08, 16 February 2026 (UTC)
== Create a local inactivity policy? ==

Even though we have an established [[Wikiquote:VOC|vote of confidence process]], by default we are covered by the global [[:m:admin activity review|admin activity review]] policy (2+ years of no edits and/or no logged actions) for administrators and bureaucrats. As the section says, I propose that we create a local inactivity policy, that administrator permissions may be removed after one year of no edits or logged actions. The procedure is that an inactive administrator can be listed [[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship#Requests for flag removal|under the removal section of WQ:RFA]], unless you prefer to discuss the procedure otherwise. Thoughts? [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 23:16, 11 February 2026 (UTC)
* That's quite a coincidence, I was actually thinking of proposing a local inactivity policy just yesterday as well. I agree that having a clear local policy would help with accountability and ensure admin rights reflect active involvement. A one-year threshold seems fair, and using the existing removal section sounds simple and transparent. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 05:47, 12 February 2026 (UTC)
*:About the policy, we could create a new section under [[Project:Administrators]] about it. Weirdly, it has a category saying it is a policy when it doesn't have {{tlx|official policy}} on it. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 13:00, 12 February 2026 (UTC)
*::CC to [[User:Saroj|Saroj]]. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 13:13, 13 February 2026 (UTC)
*:::Agreed, adding a dedicated section under [[Wikiquote:Administrators]] makes sense; it might not be an official policy yet (it currently uses [[:Category:Wikiquote policies]]), and using {{tlx|official policy}} automatically includes [[:Category:Wikiquote official policy]]. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 15:00, 13 February 2026 (UTC)
*::::@[[User:Saroj|Saroj]], given that there is minimal consensus, I have implemented the local inactivity policy per [[Special:Permalink/3896955|this permalink]]. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 15:51, 17 February 2026 (UTC)

== Which one? ==

I was going through tweaking and changing some categories when I came across [[:Category:People from Georgia (country) by occupation]], I was wondering if we use just Georgia or Georgia (country) here, so that I could everything uniform. [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 01:25, 18 February 2026 (UTC)

:We've been using Georgia (country) to distinguish it from Georgia (U.S. state). ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:37, 18 February 2026 (UTC)
::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] So can I move the ones without the (country) to distinguish the two? [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 12:38, 18 February 2026 (UTC)
:::Do you mean that you've found pages that just refer to 'Georgia', without referring to the country or the state? If so, then yes it would be good to specify which is meant. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:44, 18 February 2026 (UTC)
::::@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] I mean the ones in [[:Category:People from Georgia (country) by occupation]] as they are in the category of Georgia (country) [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 12:45, 18 February 2026 (UTC)
:::::Sorry I think I get it now - are you referring to the subcategories for Businesspeople and politicians that just say ...from Georgia? Yes, those should be moved into ...from Georgia (country). Good catch. Thanks. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:48, 18 February 2026 (UTC)
::::::Thanks for the reply! [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 12:48, 18 February 2026 (UTC)
::::::All should be done. [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 12:53, 18 February 2026 (UTC)
== [[:meta:Wikimedia Café|Wikimedia Café]] session regarding the [[:Commons:Commons:Mobile_app|Wikimedia Commons mobile app]] ==

{{tmbox
| image = [[File:Wikimedia Café logo in plain SVG format.svg|45px]]
| type=notice
| text  = Hello! There will be a '''[[:meta:Wikimedia Café|Wikimedia Café]]''' meetup on 7 March 2026 at 15:00 UTC, focusing on the '''[[:Commons:Commons:Mobile_app|Wikimedia Commons mobile app]]'''. Featured guests will be software developers [[User:Misaochan]] and [[User:RitikaPahwa4444]], and Wiki Project Med chair [[User:Doc James]]. Please see the Café page for more information, including how to attend. &lt;span style=&quot;white-space:nowrap;&quot;&gt;[[User:Pine|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#01796f;text-shadow:#00BFFF 0 0 1.0em&quot;&gt;↠Pine&lt;/span&gt;]] [[User talk:Pine|&lt;span style=&quot;color:DeepSkyBlue&quot;&gt;(&lt;span style=&quot;color:#FFDF00 ;text-shadow:#FFDF00 0 0 1.0em&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;✉&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;)&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/span&gt; 07:20, 22 February 2026 (UTC)
}}
== AI-generated images ==

In general, are AI-generated images acceptable? I can imagine that they could be used in certain circumstances with good reason (a notable AI image, or used to illustrate a quote about AI). However, in general, I don't think we should permit the use of AI-generated images which have been generated specially for the article or which are not otherwise notable. For example,  [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Donald_Trump&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3891648 I removed one here]. 

It seems to me that if an illustration is needed, it should use a real image to illustrate reality, not a fictional image. If a real image cannot be found, that's probably a sign no illustration should be used. [[User:Cagliost|Cagliost]] ([[User talk:Cagliost|talk]]) 11:58, 10 February 2026 (UTC)

:Wikipedia have a page on this topic: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:AI_image_use
:although there are a few edge cases it looks like in general their use is discouraged if not entirely banned on WP.
:maybe WQ could add something, not sure whether discouragement or a formal ban, it's not covered that I can see if this is the right place: https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikiquote:Policies_and_guidelines
:not been any recent updates so probably needs addressing. [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 21:02, 1 March 2026 (UTC)
== 2026 Iran War quotes ==

Lots of quotes have been added to [[2026_Iran_war]] by a single poster @[[User:Baratiiman|Baratiiman]]. Most of these are undated, despite my requests to add dates. They link to pages which either do not work for me or are in Persian. 

It's very hard to add quotes any more on this page as its such a mess. I'd happily sort by date if I could but it's being flooded with Iranian rhetoric which can't be checked exists or the translation verified.  I'm sure it probably violates WQ policies? [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 11:32, 12 March 2026 (UTC)

:much the same story here: [[Iran–Israel war]] [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 11:46, 12 March 2026 (UTC)
== family guy ==

why do family guy wikiquote pages have this?

&quot;Family Guy and all related characters, episodes and quotes are a copyright of 20th Century FOX. The users, editors, administrators, nor founders of the Wikimedia Foundation DO NOT claim ownership nor authorship of the contents on this page. The contents of this page are meant for reference purposes only. Neither Wikiquote nor its parent company, The Wikimedia Foundation, have any affiliation with 20th Century FOX, or its parent company, News Corp, in any way, shape, or form.&quot; [[User:Warpfrz|Warpfrz]] ([[User talk:Warpfrz|talk]]) 14:58, 8 March 2026 (UTC)

:example: [[Family Guy/Season 24]] [[User:Warpfrz|Warpfrz]] ([[User talk:Warpfrz|talk]]) 12:47, 9 March 2026 (UTC)
:I have no clue why but there's no reason for some special IP notice for one television show. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 13:34, 9 March 2026 (UTC)
:@[[User:Koavf|Koavf]]@[[User:Warpfrz|Warpfrz]] I have removed them all. [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 09:44, 17 March 2026 (UTC)
::Thanks. —[[User:Koavf|Justin (&lt;span style=&quot;color:grey&quot;&gt;ko'''a'''vf&lt;/span&gt;)]]&lt;span style=&quot;color:red&quot;&gt;❤[[User talk:Koavf|T]]☮[[Special:Contributions/Koavf|C]]☺[[Special:Emailuser/Koavf|M]]☯&lt;/span&gt; 09:45, 17 March 2026 (UTC)
== Wikimedia Global Watchlist ==

Not sure, how widely know about the [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Special:GlobalWatchlist GlobalWatchlist] is, but I find it very useful for monitoring multiple wiki projects, and I imagine even more so for people monitoring several languages.

I have my own colour coding which I find it helps to see the links quickly: https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:GrimRob/common.css

Example screenshot below with my custom colours:

[[File:Wikimedia global watchlist screenshot.png|alt=global watchlist screenshot|thumb]] [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 10:42, 19 March 2026 (UTC)
: Hi again. If you're back to this, it's a good place to tell that I'm rebuilding the global watchlist, in dozens of ways, to make it better and more useful. And if one specific change will be approved by Mediawiki, the address of the classes list will change, and I'm planning to tell you the new one, if and when. [[User:IKhitron|IKhitron]] ([[User talk:IKhitron|talk]]) 10:47, 19 March 2026 (UTC)
== Something nice ==

I made a script to make requesting vfds much easier, [[User:PieWriter/vfd.js]]. Free feel to tell me how I can improve it. Thanks. [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 09:20, 18 March 2026 (UTC)

:Cool. Used it for Speed Grapher nomination. Definitely a big time saver. [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 07:13, 19 March 2026 (UTC)
::One suggestion, if possible. Add &quot;Delete as nominator&quot; comment. Can't imagine there is ever a case where not wanted. [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 07:16, 19 March 2026 (UTC)
:::Sure, will work on it. [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 08:02, 19 March 2026 (UTC)
:::Should be done: [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=User%3APieWriter%2Fvfd.js&amp;diff=3914586&amp;oldid=3914578] [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 08:28, 19 March 2026 (UTC)
::::Worked great thanks. Minor thing but if Notability could be added to choices as seems to be most common reason. [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 09:00, 19 March 2026 (UTC)
:::::Sure! [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 09:17, 19 March 2026 (UTC)
:::::Should be done [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 09:19, 19 March 2026 (UTC)
::::::thanks, looks good. I have exhausted my list of VfD, but will try it when I have someone else. [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 10:35, 19 March 2026 (UTC)

Sorry, it is not clear how one would use your script to request a VFD - can you add some description and/or instructions on its use for users that may not be as technically savvy? Thanks. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 13:35, 19 March 2026 (UTC)

:You need to create a file called common.js in your own user space. Just copy the contents. 
:https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/User:GrimRob/common.js [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 14:45, 19 March 2026 (UTC)
::on the Tools menu you get an item called vfd which brings up a dialog. Tools menu does not appear on mobiles I believe. [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 15:00, 19 March 2026 (UTC)
:::Hmm, didn't see anything when I did that - not sure what I did wrong. No worries. But my point was more that when a new tool/script/gadget is created, if you want people to use it, it would be good to document some explanation (perhaps on the talk page) and direction on its use. Just good practice. Thanks. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 17:38, 19 March 2026 (UTC)
:@[[User:UDScott|UDScott]] Here’s the docs: [[User:PieWriter/vfd]] [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 00:18, 20 March 2026 (UTC)
::Great, thanks! ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 12:27, 20 March 2026 (UTC)
== Create a global rights policy? ==

I am initiating this proposal to create some rules for users in certain user groups (how they should use their rights), while we keep any bureaucracy at a minimum. Here is what I would propose:
* [[:m:Abuse filter maintainers|Abuse filter maintainers]] and [[:m:Global interface editors|global interface editors]] may use their rights per their respective policy rules at Meta-Wiki.
* [[:m:Global rollback|Global rollbackers]] may use some of their rights in the context of counter vandalism efforts (&lt;code&gt;markbotedits&lt;/code&gt;, &lt;code&gt;noratelimit&lt;/code&gt;, &lt;code&gt;rollback&lt;/code&gt;, and &lt;code&gt;suppressredirect&lt;/code&gt;). If they had the rollbacker user group removed locally (as a GR), they will have to request rollback locally.
* For [[:m:Global sysops|global sysops]], we move the ''Non-regular administrators'' section text to the GRP, but we might want to consider importing some text from [[:n:en:Wikinews:Global permissions#Global sysops|English Wikinews' global rights policy]], and include [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]].
* [[:m:Stewards|Stewards]] may use their global rollback and global sysop permissions, use [[Special:Undelete]] to view deleted revisions in the course of their duties, and use the CheckUser and oversight permissions (per their respective policies), even if local CUs and OSs are appointed locally in the future. They are also permitted to delete pages with more than 5000 revisions (&lt;code&gt;bigdelete&lt;/code&gt;) via a request at [[:m:steward requests/Miscellaneous|SRM]].
Thoughts? [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 20:27, 2 March 2026 (UTC)
* {{Support}}, it sets clear expectations and keeps things simple while improving transparency and consistency. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 08:50, 3 March 2026 (UTC)

:{{support}} This would be a huge help as most of the current admins are inactive.@[[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]], Just wanted to clarify on what you wanted to import from wikiquote, as stated in your 3rd point. [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 10:47, 3 March 2026 (UTC)
::There is a section on [[Wikiquote:Administrators]] about non-regular administrators (global sysops and stewards). I plan to move that to the global rights policy. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 15:19, 3 March 2026 (UTC)
:::I created [[Project:Global rights policy]] as a draft policy, so this proposal is now used to approve it as an official policy. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 02:03, 6 March 2026 (UTC)
::::@[[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] What do we plan to do about Global Bots? [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 09:58, 6 March 2026 (UTC)
:::::@[[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] Given that this project just now uses the standard bot policy, we can add information on what they can do here, but any tasks outside a global bot's scope can be requested locally. Also, I don't think we should copy some user group policies from other projects, such as Wikipedia or Wikibooks, and instead only focus on those global user groups that are truly global. I think we should limit the GRP only to global AFMs, global bots, GIEs, GRs, GSs, and stewards. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 17:53, 8 March 2026 (UTC)
::::::But shouldn’t the global right policy include all the rights as it is a global rights policy? We could remove some that aren’t relevant here. [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 00:44, 9 March 2026 (UTC)
:I'm not really active on Wikiquote. For this reason , my choice is to stay neutral. [[User:Anatole-berthe|Anatole-berthe]] ([[User talk:Anatole-berthe|talk]]) 12:11, 3 March 2026 (UTC)
:What about GRs using &lt;code&gt;checkuser-temporary-account&lt;/code&gt;? As I understand the wording of this proposal would prohibit GRs from checking temporary account IPs. [[User:Tenshi Hinanawi|Tenshi Hinanawi]] ([[User talk:Tenshi Hinanawi|talk]]) 23:06, 21 March 2026 (UTC)
::I don't think so. Some wikis' global rights policies do not say about the usage of checkuser-temporary-account. Th ey must agree and follow the WMF's policy on using it. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 00:48, 22 March 2026 (UTC)

== Global ban for Faster than Thunder ==

Hello, this is a message to notify that there is a global ban for {{user|Faster than Thunder}} at [[:m:Requests for comment/Global ban for Faster than Thunder]]. Per the [[:m:Global bans|global ban]] policy, you are receiving this notification because the user made at least 1 (deleted) edit. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 02:09, 22 March 2026 (UTC)
== QOTD sizing issue on main page ==

QOTD is really hard to read on the main page due to being crushed between two images. This is a screenshot from my tablet which is actually quite wide, and it's just as bad in landscape. It's almost impossible to read as it's so narrow.

[[File:WQ sizing issue.png|thumb]]

Do we really need two pictures? If we had one and let the text wrap around it, it would size ok in pretty much any resolution? The other Wikiquotes I have looked at just have one image in the equivalent slot, e.g.

https://de.wikiquote.org/wiki/Hauptseite [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 17:25, 23 February 2026 (UTC)

:Because of that, shouldn't we use just one image on the left or right, and add a {{tlx|cquote}} template? This might solve a potential issue on what you are describing. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 19:51, 2 March 2026 (UTC)
::I think just one image on the left would perhaps work, cquote would work as well for a different look with out image on left, e.g. [[User:GrimRob/QOTD]]. In either case having images on left and right crushes text on anything but a wide screen. [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 13:23, 4 March 2026 (UTC)
:::ok here's the other way. I have [[User:GrimRob/QOTDTemplate|my own template]] based on the existing one, and it just uses the left image. I've kept image2 in just to minimise changes. Here it is with the QOTD:[[User:GrimRob/QOTDExample|QOTDExample]]. [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 19:03, 4 March 2026 (UTC)

Similar concerns about image count/size on main page were raised years ago. I would agree to limiting the QOTD to one image (on the left side to balance out the image illustrating the new pages section). ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 04:04, 7 March 2026 (UTC)

:As I have probably said above, that's a good idea. I also have a suggestion: why don't we use random quotes or Quote of the Week instead of Kalki creating new QOTD pages every day? [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 15:55, 7 March 2026 (UTC)
::Thanks. I don't have permissions otherwise I would be happy to make the change but if I was going to change [[Wikiquote:Quote of the day/Template]] then I would make it like [[User:GrimRob/QOTDTemplate]] (apart from the name).
::Automating it also seems a good idea. We have thousands of quotes we could use so you might as well do it every day as every week once it's set up. Occasionally maybe if some signficant figure died you occasionally might want to tweak a pre-planned quote. Worse case scenario if it's not been pre-prepared then the quote from the same day as last year gets recycled? [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 16:23, 7 March 2026 (UTC)
:::We could adopt the same logic as what [[:q:fr:|French Wikiquote]]'s main page quote section does. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 16:37, 7 March 2026 (UTC)
::::Sounds a good idea, no need to reinvent the wheel. If I understand their system, e.g. [https://fr.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikiquote:Citations_du_jour/janvier_2026 Jan 2026], anyone can enter a quote for the day (most days they don't) otherwise it uses the [https://fr.wikiquote.org/wiki/Mod%C3%A8le:Citation_du_jour/Switch Switch template] to generate one.
::::What's to stop someone putting something inappropriate though? I seem just to be able to volunteer tomorrow's QOTD, or go back and change previous ones? [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 16:50, 7 March 2026 (UTC)
:::::Pinging @[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 16:58, 7 March 2026 (UTC)
::@[[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] how can I make the change to the template? It just needs my the content of my [[User:GrimRob/QOTD]] page to be copied over it. There seems to be broad agreement on this change (the much wider issue of workflow won't have any impact). I guess I need to ask someone to do it, or be given the permissions (at least temporarily). [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 21:34, 13 March 2026 (UTC)
:::@[[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] Before I implement such a change to the template, I decided to redo a revised version on [[User:GrimRob/QOTDTemplate]], using the image and {{tlx|Cquote}} together under the code table. [[User:GrimRob/QOTD]] and [[User:GrimRob/QOTDNewTemplate]] may not look good to use on QOTDs, and I hope implementing the revised version to the template would not break any previous QOTD quotes. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 23:41, 15 March 2026 (UTC)
::::I am happy with either approach, feel free to adopt whatever you feel is best. I have made the image narrower in the example as it didn't size well on a mobile screen. Obviously it's up to the QOTD creator to pick a suitable size. But definitely an improvement on what we have now. Thanks @[[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 10:52, 16 March 2026 (UTC)
::::@[[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] actually there is one further thing. I left the parameter called image1 instead of image so it wouldn't break all the existing pages (e.g. [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikiquote:Quote_of_the_day/March_14,_2026 Mar 14]). Not sure if you are going to create a new template or overwrite the existing one but that was my reasoning for leaving the name as is, to avoid a breaking change. [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 11:01, 16 March 2026 (UTC)
:::::@[[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] and @[[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]]: {{done}}. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 18:15, 24 March 2026 (UTC)
::::::Great, thanks for doing that. Home page looks much better now on smaller devices. @[[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 18:26, 24 March 2026 (UTC)
::::::: @[[User:Codename Noreste|Codename Noreste]] Thank you, this looks great. It's definitely a step in the right direction. One thing I should perhaps note is that this change seems to be affecting all historical QOTD pages. I don't think that's ideal unless there's no technical alternative.
::::::: In terms of possible enhancements: I noticed you had to manually reduce the image size [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Wikiquote:Quote_of_the_day/March_25,_2026&amp;diff=prev&amp;oldid=3919046 here]. Would it be possible to &quot;force&quot; the smaller size (which the community already agreed on) directly in the QOTD template itself? Finally, though out of scope here, I'd like to flag two other possible enhancements:
:::::::* There's currently no wikilink on the author's name. Could this be added (so readers can easily click through to see more quotes by that author)?
:::::::* I'd also favor including the source of the quote as part of the template, since that's one of the things that distinguishes Wikiquote from most other quote websites. (This has been suggested before by [[User:Ningauble]].)
::::::: Thanks again. ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 05:27, 25 March 2026 (UTC)
* I have just posted today's selection for QOTD, but must be leaving in the next few minutes for probably at least a few hours, and definitely do not have time to give any extensive response to any of the above suggestions. I will state that I believe the current system of posting and ranking of suggestions which have been in place for about twenty years now is a far superior system to any which have been suggested to replace it, especially some of these most recent proposals. I will attempt to explicate some of the many reasons why in a response I will try to post within the next day or so. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;{{text default color}};&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 00:11, 8 March 2026 (UTC)
*:Can we have a separate thread for the QOTD workflow, which is a much bigger topic, this thread is a relatively minor one about a change about removing an image which is ready to go? I'll create a new thread. [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 11:48, 8 March 2026 (UTC)

== Categorisation question ==

Do we use &lt;code&gt;Films about … &lt;/code&gt; or &lt;code&gt; … films&lt;/code&gt; (Example: [[:Category:Monster films]] vs. [[:Category:Films about reptiles and amphibians]])? [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 09:37, 17 March 2026 (UTC)

:I think it's better to use 'Films about...'. Recently, many categories have been created in this format, and I also use it personally. It keeps things more consistent with English Wikipedia's categorization style. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 11:25, 17 March 2026 (UTC)
::@[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] Thanks for the reply, I will work on moving the other categories then. [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 00:54, 18 March 2026 (UTC)
::@[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] Is it possible to have pseudobot? There are a few hundred pages to move. [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 09:26, 18 March 2026 (UTC)
:::Granted. Please remove the group from your account once finished. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 09:32, 18 March 2026 (UTC)
::::Thanks, will do. [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 09:34, 18 March 2026 (UTC)
:::::@[[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] Just a note: not every category needs to be in the “Films about …” format. Some categories work better as “… films,” depending on context and common usage. Please be careful when moving pages and check each case individually. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 09:57, 18 March 2026 (UTC)
::::::Yes, I leave the ones that work better as is and only moves the ones that are better in the other format. [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 09:58, 18 March 2026 (UTC)
::::I have done about half from [[:Category:Films by theme]], will do the rest tomorrow. [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 10:20, 18 March 2026 (UTC)
::::@[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] Can I have pseudobot again? I am back to working on the cats [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 10:44, 25 March 2026 (UTC)
:::::{{Done}} [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 11:52, 25 March 2026 (UTC)
== Proposal to change QOTD workflow ==

This is a new thread spun off from [[Village_pump#QOTD_sizing_issue_on_main_page]]. It was suggested that we adopt the French WQ system with countersuggestion by @[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]. [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 11:51, 8 March 2026 (UTC)

* {{Support}} changing the QOTD workflow to one where by default (as fallback) the QOTD is randomly selected from a pool of high-quality quotes. This would guarantee there's always a quote displayed, even if no one manually prepares one that day. We would still allow manual overrides for special occasions or particularly fitting selections. ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 00:20, 9 March 2026 (UTC)
* {{Support}} This seems like a reasonable way to ensure continuity. [[User:BD2412|&lt;span style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE;{{text default color}};&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/span&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 04:42, 28 March 2026 (UTC)
* '''Strongly OPPOSE'''.  Currently there has for roughly twenty years been a page for ''each'' day of the year for suggestions, which though relatively few people have usually actively contributed to or voted on the suggestions, has actually provided a broad range of selections to actively consider for most days, most of the time, and from the start of this system there has been considerate selection based primarily on the rankings provided, always with the option of adding new suggestions, especially in the cases of major recent events of note (most commonly the recent death of notable figures). &lt;br /&gt; This suggestion seems to me to be a proposal for extremely inept mechanistically randomized selections with little or no regard to the potential and actual complexities of relevant contexts or considerations on any day at all, totally randomly out of a pool of ''nominally'' &quot;high-quality quotes&quot;  with an extremely dubious and unspecified criterion of what actually ''constitutes'' &quot;high-quality&quot; and how this is to be either initially or ultimately decided. &lt;br /&gt; Even in the current pools of suggestions for each day there are many quotes which many people have ranked highly which have also been ranked very poorly by just one or two others, which significantly lowers their general availability, and some suggestions which generally seem of very dubious or clearly poor quality to most people that yet a few people are inclined to rank highly, including some promoting various forms of ethnically or politically based oppression, injustices, and denigration of human beings. I believe this proposal simply provides greater means and opportunities for the most obnoxious and noxious misanthropic or denigrative statements to be slipped into the &quot;pool&quot;, with a nearly guaranteed objections to any &quot;manual overrides for special occasions&quot; that might not suit the various specific or general misanthropic impulses of some. '''I perceive nothing else than usually a ''likelihood'' of far poorer selections, and ultimately a far greater and perhaps nearly constant state of contention over selections than have ever existed in the roughly two decades of the current systems of daily considerate selection from the pages of ranked suggestions of those who choose to participate in providing or ranking them, with the continuously available options of providing new suggestions until the selections are actually made.''' ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;{{text default color}};&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 05:55, 28 March 2026 (UTC)
*: On the &quot;high‑quality&quot; point: I would suggest the pool be drawn from well-established, curated public‑domain compendiums of quotations such as ''[[w:Bartlett's Familiar Quotations|Bartlett's Familiar Quotations]]'' (which has already been imported into Wikiquote by [[User:BD2412|BD2412]]). ''Bartlett's'' alone contains thousands of quotations—likely enough to support two decades' worth of QOTDs—and could serve as a non‑controversial fallback to ensure continuity. ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 11:39, 28 March 2026 (UTC)

== Kalki is accused of degrading Wikiquote ==

[[File:LuMaxArt_Golden_Family_With_World_Religions.jpg|thumb|[[Religions]] are different roads converging to the same point. What does it matter that we take different road, so long as we reach the same goal. Wherein is the cause for quarrelling? ~ [[Mahatma Gandhi]] ]]
&lt;!-- I altered the arrogantly asinine POV-pushing heading with which this section was hostilely begun. ~ Kalki 2026·03·25--&gt;
This is a great website. But for many years I've been frustrated by @[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] inserting his irrelevant, half-baked New Age ideas into every article he can get his hands on. &quot;Every religion is one, we are all one human family&quot; seems to be the message. He's entitled to his beliefs, but should he be allowed to slather them over the entire site? I don't think so. If he's serious about them, he can put them onto his own website rather than inserting them into the mouths of everyone he can do so on here, and at the expense of everyone who may not wish to be confronted with them constantly. He may think he's doing humanity a service, but this is not the way to do it. [[User:SpigottoCorenzo|SpigottoCorenzo]] ([[User talk:SpigottoCorenzo|talk]]) 16:39, 24 March 2026 (UTC)

:To start this on the right foot, go back to whatever your original account was and continue the conversation from there. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 10:48, 25 March 2026 (UTC)
:::I will confess that I do believe that the most mentally and morally well-developed and wise individuals of most cultural traditions can and do &quot;get along&quot; with sincere appreciations of the virtues and worth of many others within and beyond their particular traditions, and that has indeed been an attitude I have indicated as a primary creator of pages and content on the project, for over 22 years here, probably much to the consternation of some of those inclined to believe otherwise. I will also note that this assertion that with indications of such an attitude I am &quot;degrading&quot; Wikiquote is actually the very first edit made by the above account on this project.
::: I am very well aware that vary many forms of narrow bigoted religious or cultural [[w:Supremacism|supremacism]] are inclined to object to and oppose any forms of broad tolerances and appreciations of humanity with extremely ambiguous and broadly dismissive terms as &quot;wokeness&quot;, or even the rather old and quite dated label &quot;New Age&quot;, as if to accept or even acknowledge the existence or admirability of &quot;Diversity, Equity and Inclusion&quot; were intolerable &quot;oppression&quot; of their apparently &quot;full-baked&quot; ideologies of the supposed sacredness of their pretensions to superiority or even assumptions of supremacy over all others. To provide any indications of broader senses of appreciation than their own is often counted as intolerable &quot;suppression&quot; of their particular brands of nonsense.
::: I am all too acquainted with fact that mentally and morally warped notions that acceptance and assertion of the rights of human beings to exposure to broad appreciations of diverse ideas rather than ONLY some narrow cultural supremacist ideologies or other such nonsense is something &quot;degrading&quot; to anything but their own particular sense of absolute &quot;supremacy&quot;, but it is a relatively new twist on old nonsense to imply that providing accurate quotes of individuals is expressing their own ideas to be &quot;inserting them into the mouths&quot; of these individuals. '''I have added and used notable and accurate quotes of people of various religious and political faiths, as well as agnostics, atheists, anarchists, and absurdists perceiving many of the absurdities in many forms of human assumptions and assertions.'''
::: The edit of posting the above accusation against me on this page was followed by a typo correction on the page of [[Sri Aurobindo]] soon after another new account {{user|Iklak999}} had made trolling edits on it removing a quite relevant image from that page and two others with declarations &quot;Removing irrelevant art which Kalki seems to love inserting everywhere&quot;; on that page the image was used in conjunction with Aurobindo's assertion: &quot;[[Religions]], [[creeds]] and forms are only a characteristic outward [[sign]] of the [[spiritual]] impulsion and religion itself is the intensive [[action]] by which it tries to find its inward [[force]]. Its expansive movement comes in the [[thought]] which it throws out on [[life]], the [[ideals]] which open up new horizons and which the intellect accepts and life labours to assimilate.&quot;
::: On the page for [[G. I. Gurdjieff]] it was used with his quote indicating his rejection of shallow vacuous idolatries and assumptions in regard to various forms of faith: &quot;[[Conscious]] [[faith]] is [[freedom]]. [[Emotional]] faith is [[slavery]]. Mechanical faith is [[foolishness]].
::: On the page for [[Mahatma Gandhi]] it was used with the statement with which it is posted here, in which symbols for major world religions are posted around the circumference of one of the most-used modern &quot;Peace&quot; symbols, with an ideographic representation of a human family at the central region of the image. I am sure many extremists would prefer I defer to their intolerant attitudes and actions, or actually join them in their forms of aggressively narrow POV-pushing, and censorship of any or all other views other than their own, but I am quite glad to state that such is not likely to happen. 
::: I will probably soon attempt to address other issues I have observed going on here in recent weeks — but I know that I will be extraordinarily busy with many important things elsewhere for at least several more days, and probably longer. I will also note that I composed most of this response prior to the remarks posted below, by someone who has been hostilely trolling me for some years. As I am not inclined to agree with or defer to his strong anti-Islamic attitudes he has declared me to be a  &quot;friend&quot; of such [[Islamist]] extremists as [[ISIL]] and other appallingly [[murderous]] [[terrorists]]. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 11:44, 25 March 2026 (UTC) + tweaks
::::Brevity is the soul of wit. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 12:18, 25 March 2026 (UTC)
::::How do you justify the inclusion of this crap on the page of [[Joseph de Maistre]], an extremist Catholic? [[User:SpigottoCorenzo|SpigottoCorenzo]] ([[User talk:SpigottoCorenzo|talk]]) 21:09, 25 March 2026 (UTC)
::I made another account earlier in the day with what I believe was a stupid name which would influence the spirit of this conversation negatively, so I made this new account subsequently. If there's any other information I can offer you, let me know. [[User:SpigottoCorenzo|SpigottoCorenzo]] ([[User talk:SpigottoCorenzo|talk]]) 21:15, 25 March 2026 (UTC)
:::@[[User:SpigottoCorenzo|SpigottoCorenzo]] You know this is [[Wikiquote:Sock puppetry]] right? [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 09:42, 26 March 2026 (UTC)

[[File:JUL Iris Soul Palm.png|thumb|144px|Kalki's POV pushing on [[Dinah Craik]] (and countless other pages)]]
: I share the concern. Just to give an example for the community's consideration: while adding a couple of quotes from the 19th-century novel ''John Halifax, Gentleman'' to the [[Dinah Craik]] page recently, I noticed that it (like so many other author pages that Kalki has edited) is filled with stock images only tangentially connected to the quotes. In particular, the &quot;New Age&quot; image to the right (it wouldn't surprise me if Kalki created it) is very heavily used by Kalki on Wikiquote, but never used on Wikipedia... If a quote so much as mentions the word &quot;Hand&quot;, woe be to its author—Kalki will add that image with the Wheel of Dharma on it, even if the author is a Christian. I don't think this is appropriate.  ~ [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 09:48, 25 March 2026 (UTC)
::Yes I remember one of the first things that really alerted me to @[[User:Kalki|Kalki]]'s vandalism was the inclusion of these images on the page of [[Joseph de Maistre]] of all people. The images clutter pages and make them uglier, and the quotes attached, which are usually cherry-picked, all relate to his obsession. [[User:SpigottoCorenzo|SpigottoCorenzo]] ([[User talk:SpigottoCorenzo|talk]]) 21:00, 25 March 2026 (UTC)
::: '''There are many distortions of facts, and there are clearly some quite provably FALSE statements presented as if they were facts, in recent assertions by some.''' I remain far too busy to deal with any matters here extensively for at least a few days — I have just completed an extensive timetable of my attempt to attend to MUCH activity elsewhere in the next 48 hours — but I just took the time check in here very briefly, and actually looked at [https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Joseph_de_Maistre&amp;action=history the history of edits to the &quot;Joseph de Maistre&quot; page] which I am accused of having &quot;vandalized&quot;  — and will note the FACT that it has NEITHER of these mentioned images in it, and '''''I never added ANY images at all to that page''''', and the ''ONLY'' edits I made to it at all were a couple in 2010, on the day it was created by an anon IP, where I added a few links from Wikipedia, and added the caption of his famous statement:''' &quot;Every nation gets the government it deserves&quot; '''to the only image on the page at that time. That remains the caption to that image to this day. '''Someone else who did very extensive work on the page — adding ''most'' of the quotes on it — also added an available image of multiple religious symbols to use with the caption &quot;Either every imaginable institution is founded on a religious concept or it is only a passing phenomenon&quot; which I certainly find to be an appropriate use of such an image.'''  So much for that being &quot;remembered&quot; as &quot;one of the first things that really alerted me to @Kalki's vandalism.&quot;&lt;br /&gt; I expect to be engaged in nearly constant work elsewhere for most of the next couple of days, and will probably not even have time to even check in here much until next week, let alone address any issues extensively, but hope to do so sometime within the next week or so. &lt;small&gt;''[[Dharma|So]] [[Necessity|it]] [[Kenosis|goes]]''[[Eternity|…]]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;big&gt; [[Monism|⨀]][[Awareness|∴]][[Life|☥]][[Peace|☮]][[Love|♥]][[Understanding|∵]][[Om|ॐ]] [[Karma|…]]&lt;/big&gt;''[[Blessings]]''. ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 10:12, 27 March 2026 (UTC)
:: The symbol within the hand, like most representations of wheels, crosses, the sun and rainbows is an ambiguous one such as used by many diverse and even conflicting religious and social traditions which is described as a &quot;representation of Light shining in darkness, with a spectral ring circling it with colors of the rainbow, equatable with a Dharma wheel or Solar cross, amidst a radial matrix, web, or net of dark and light configurations&quot;.  ~ &lt;span style= &quot;border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver&quot;&gt;♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡&lt;/span&gt; 12:44, 25 March 2026 (UTC)
:[[Wikiquote:Image use policy]] says: &quot;An image that is not a literal representation of the subject of the page may be removed by any editor who believes it to be inappropriate. Thereafter, it should not be re-added without first obtaining consensus on the article talk page.&quot;
:So please do just remove these images when you come across them. [[User:Ficaia|Ficaia]] ([[User talk:Ficaia|talk]]) 16:13, 25 March 2026 (UTC)
::Thank you, I appreciate the reply. [[User:SpigottoCorenzo|SpigottoCorenzo]] ([[User talk:SpigottoCorenzo|talk]]) 20:52, 25 March 2026 (UTC)

: I don't know if &quot;degrading&quot; is an appropriate term, but certainly making it weird. [[User:BD2412|&lt;span style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE;{{text default color}};&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/span&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 04:42, 27 March 2026 (UTC)
* I've blocked OP as an obvious sock, and no, I don't mean of the I-made-an-account-earlier-today type. They're free to explain how they've had years of conflict with Kalki and yet this account has been used for nothing but to immediately come here and stir up some drama. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 12:16, 27 March 2026 (UTC)
*:I agree with GMG’s decision [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 12:17, 27 March 2026 (UTC)
*:: I agree with the block, but I also agree with the broader proposition that we should not be overusing one set of ambiguous images. [[User:BD2412|&lt;span style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE;{{text default color}};&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/span&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 04:43, 28 March 2026 (UTC)
== Can't reply to a message on the Village Pump ==

I can reply on other pages I have tried. If I try on the  VP I get this message.

&gt; The &quot;reply&quot; link cannot be used to reply to this comment. To reply, please use the full page editor by clicking &quot;Edit source&quot;.

Looked at this article and couldn't see anything it mentions.

https://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Help:DiscussionTools/Why_can%27t_I_reply_to_this_comment%3F#The_%22reply%22_link_cannot_be_used_to_reply_to_this_comment

It used to work until a day or so ago. Anyone else got this problem (assuming you can reply somehow!)? [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 10:37, 28 March 2026 (UTC)
: I have to reply to myself by editing the markup.[[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 10:40, 28 March 2026 (UTC)
::It happened to me as well, after I updated the headers. The problem was at {{tlx|Headers/end}}, and it was because it was missing an extra div tag. I just fixed it, and the reply tool works again. My apologies. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 15:40, 28 March 2026 (UTC)
:::Great, thanks👍 [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 16:36, 28 March 2026 (UTC)

== Upcoming Wikimedia Café meetup regarding the [[:meta:Wikimedia Foundation Annual Plan/2026-2027|the 2026-2027 Wikimedia Foundation Annual Plan]] ==

{{tmbox
| image = [[File:Wikimedia Café logo in plain SVG format.svg|45px]]
| type=notice
| text  = Hello! There will be a '''[[:meta:Wikimedia Café|Wikimedia Café]]''' meetup on '''Saturday, 11 April 2026 at 14:00 UTC''' ([https://zonestamp.toolforge.org/1775916000 timestamp conversion tool]), focusing on the [[:meta:Wikimedia Foundation Annual Plan/2026-2027|the 2026-2027 Wikimedia Foundation Annual Plan]]. The featured guests will be &lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:KStineRowe_(WMF) Kelsi Stine-Rowe]&lt;/span&gt; (senior manager, [[:meta:Movement Communications|Movement Communications]], Wikimedia Foundation), and &lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[//meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Samwalton9_(WMF) Sam Walton]&lt;/span&gt; (senior product manager, [[:mw:Moderator Tools|Moderator Tools]], Wikimedia Foundation). &lt;br /&gt;

In addition to this Café session, [[:meta:Wikimedia Foundation Annual Plan/2026-2027/Collaboration|several additional meetings regarding the Annual Plan are listed on the Collaboration page]], and you may participate on the [[:meta:Talk:Wikimedia Foundation Annual Plan/2026-2027|talk page]]. &lt;br /&gt;

This Café meetup will be approximately two hours long. Attendees may choose to attend only for a part. Please see the Café page for more information, including [[:meta:Wikimedia Café#Signups for the April 2026 session|how to register]]. &lt;br /&gt;
[[File:Buntstifte Eberhard Faber crop 64h.jpg|860px|alt=cropped image of colored pencils]]
}}
&lt;span style=&quot;white-space:nowrap;&quot;&gt;[[User:Pine|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#01796f;text-shadow:#00BFFF 0 0 1.0em&quot;&gt;↠Pine&lt;/span&gt;]] [[User talk:Pine|&lt;span color=&quot;DeepSkyBlue&quot;&gt;(&lt;span style=&quot;color:#FFDF00 ;text-shadow:#FFDF00 0 0 1.0em&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;✉&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;)&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/span&gt; 05:31, 29 March 2026 (UTC)
== Creating [[Wikiquote:Criteria for inclusion]] ==

Is it true that Wikiquote criteria for inclusion is covered in [[Wikiquote:Deletion policy]]? If so, what about creating [[Wikiquote:Criteria for inclusion]] as a redirect? Coming from Wiktionary background, I am familiar with the &quot;Criteria for inclusion&quot; headword and find it convenient to try to find something under it. --[[User:Dan Polansky|Dan Polansky]] ([[User talk:Dan Polansky|talk]]) 09:14, 18 March 2026 (UTC)
: {{re|Dan Polansky}} We do have [[Wikiquote:Quotability]]. [[User:BD2412|&lt;span style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE;{{text default color}};&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/span&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 04:40, 27 March 2026 (UTC)
:: {{re|BD2412}} Great, thank you. So what about redirecting [[Wikiquote:Criteria for inclusion]] to [[Wikiquote:Quotability]] to increase findability? --[[User:Dan Polansky|Dan Polansky]] ([[User talk:Dan Polansky|talk]]) 06:12, 30 March 2026 (UTC)
:::Redirects are cheap. [[User:GreenMeansGo|&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#07CB4B&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#449351&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#35683d&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;]][[User talk:GreenMeansGo#top|&lt;sup style=&quot;color:#000;font-family:Impact&quot;&gt;talk&lt;/sup&gt;]] 09:44, 30 March 2026 (UTC)
::::By what GMG said, feel free to create the redirect. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 15:18, 30 March 2026 (UTC)
::::: {{done}}. Cheers! [[User:BD2412|&lt;span style=&quot;background:#F2E6CE;{{text default color}};&quot;&gt;''BD2412''&lt;/span&gt;]] [[User talk:BD2412|'''T''']] 03:40, 31 March 2026 (UTC)
== Action Required: Update templates/modules for electoral maps (Migrating from P1846 to P14226) ==

Hello everyone,

This is a notice regarding an ongoing data migration on Wikidata that may affect your election-related templates and Lua modules (such as &lt;code&gt;Module:Itemgroup/list&lt;/code&gt;).

'''The Change:'''&lt;br /&gt;
Currently, many templates pull electoral maps from Wikidata using the property [[:d:Property:P1846|P1846]], combined with the qualifier [[:d:Property:P180|P180]]: [[:d:Q19571328|Q19571328]]. 

We are migrating this data (across roughly 4,000 items) to a newly created, dedicated property: '''[[:d:Property:P14226|P14226]]'''.

'''What You Need To Do:'''&lt;br /&gt;
To ensure your templates and infoboxes do not break or lose their maps, please update your local code to fetch data from [[:d:Property:P14226|P14226]] instead of the old [[:d:Property:P1846|P1846]] + [[:d:Property:P180|P180]] structure. A [[m:Wikidata/Property Migration: P1846 to P14226/List|list of pages]] was generated using Wikimedia Global Search.

'''Deadline:'''&lt;br /&gt;
We are temporarily retaining the old data on [[:d:Property:P1846|P1846]] to allow for a smooth transition. However, to complete the data cleanup on Wikidata, the old [[:d:Property:P1846|P1846]] statements will be removed after '''May 1, 2026'''. Please update your modules and templates before this date to prevent any disruption to your wiki's election articles.

Let us know if you have any questions or need assistance with the query logic. Thank you for your help! [[User:ZI Jony|ZI Jony]] using [[User:MediaWiki message delivery|MediaWiki message delivery]] ([[User talk:MediaWiki message delivery|talk]]) 17:11, 3 April 2026 (UTC)
&lt;!-- Message sent by User:ZI Jony@metawiki using the list at https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Distribution_list/Non-Technical_Village_Pumps_distribution_list&amp;oldid=29941252 --&gt;
: English Wikiquote is not included on the page change list, so there is nothing for us to do here. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 18:21, 4 April 2026 (UTC)
== Discontinue [[Wikiquote:Requested entries]] and its subpages? ==

Hello, everyone. I would like to propose that we discontinue [[Wikiquote:Requested entries]] and its subpages (themes for article creations).

The reason is that some people ask questions unrelated to requesting new articles, there is occasional vandalism here and there, and some of these subpages have never been edited in a few years. In addition to that, unregistered and new users can create articles directly in the mainspace, so what's the point of having the requested entries project page?

Therefore, when discontinuing them, they should be fully protected (from edits and moves) and marked with {{tlx|historical}}. Thoughts? [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 16:59, 27 March 2026 (UTC)
: It doesn't encourage people when the items at the top are years out of date. I agree. Not everyone realises that they can just start typing and create content themselves, so maybe keep the &quot;be bold&quot; text about making it yourself, with perhaps a link directly to a relevant page with some info on what to do? e.g. [[Help:Starting_a_new_page]] .[[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 10:49, 28 March 2026 (UTC)
::To clarify, does your comment above mean you support this proposal? [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 14:02, 29 March 2026 (UTC)
:::Yes. The rest falls into &quot;if it's easy&quot;... [[User:GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 15:45, 29 March 2026 (UTC)
:It is kinda useless at this point, it is rarely used and almost no one knows about it. [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 23:40, 9 April 2026 (UTC)
:It can sometime be used in the right way. If we go on &quot;[[Wikiquote:Requested_entries/People]]&quot; , &quot;[[Wikiquote:Requested_entries/Movies]]&quot; or &quot;[[Wikiquote:Requested_entries/Music]]&quot;.
:We can find some real requests. I gave only three examples.
:If we go on &quot;[[Wikiquote:Requested_entries/Radio]]&quot; , this is empty.
:&quot;[[Wikiquote:Requested entries]]&quot; and child pages like &quot;[[Wikiquote:Requested_entries/Music]]&quot; seems to be mainly inactive.
:If this function is rarely used. Should we protect the pages then archive these ? I don't know. 
:As I'm not an experienced user on Wikiquote. I haven't a strong opinion. [[User:Anatole-berthe|Anatole-berthe]] ([[User talk:Anatole-berthe|talk]]) 01:22, 10 April 2026 (UTC)
== Change the protection icons and use the protected page text templates? ==

Hi, I would like to propose that we utilize the {{tlx|protected page text}} templates on [[MediaWiki:Protectedpagetext]]. Currently, that interface message is vague, which doesn't mention what level of protection a page is under.

In addition, I would like to propose changing the protection icons to match the English Wikipedia/Wikibooks/Wikimedia Commons:
{{collapse top}}
[[File:Full-protection-shackle.svg|thumb|60px|link=|Full protection]]
[[File:Extended-protection-shackle-account-pro-plus.svg|thumb|60px|link=|Autopatroller protection]]
[[File:Semi-protection-shackle.svg|thumb|60px|link=|Semi-protection]]
[[File:Move-protection-shackle.svg|thumb|60px|link=|Move protection]]
[[File:Cascade-protection-shackle.svg|thumb|60px|link=|Cascade protection]]
[[File:Create-protection-shackle.svg|thumb|60px|link=|Creation protection]]
{{collapse bottom}}
Thoughts? [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 15:34, 6 April 2026 (UTC)

:Sounds fine to me. ~ [[User:UDScott|UDScott]] ([[User talk:UDScott|talk]]) 16:22, 6 April 2026 (UTC)
:: I will implement the changes by Friday (tomorrow) if there are no objections. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 16:23, 9 April 2026 (UTC)
:I agree with the suggestion. [[User:Anatole-berthe|Anatole-berthe]] ([[User talk:Anatole-berthe|talk]]) 17:12, 9 April 2026 (UTC)
: {{done|Done, mostly}}. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 16:13, 10 April 2026 (UTC)
== Proposal on the bots page ==

Feel free to take a look: [[Wikiquote talk:Bots#Split the bot request part to its own page?]]. [[User:Codename Noreste|&lt;span style=&quot;color:#0024FF&quot;&gt;Codename Noreste&lt;/span&gt;]] ([[User talk:Codename Noreste|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Codename Noreste|contribs]]) 16:06, 15 April 2026 (UTC)

== Ongoing RfA ==

An RfA is currently open at [[Wikiquote:Requests for adminship/PieWriter]]. Community members are invited to participate and leave comments. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 10:59, 16 April 2026 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>ccxguc3lt0zde1v8tkvcjxn5w9rhbhv</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Category:Women politicians in Japan</title>
    <ns>14</ns>
    <id>298393</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943931</id>
      <parentid>3832554</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:52:36Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Moving from [[Category:Women from Japan]] to [[Category:Women from Japan by occupation]] using [[c:Help:Cat-a-lot|Cat-a-lot]]</comment>
      <origin>3943931</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="127" sha1="sqizlpx39ytac8xuwc5x4d90an28o41" xml:space="preserve">[[Category:Women from Japan by occupation]]
[[Category:Politicians from Japan]]
[[Category:Women politicians by country|Japan]]</text>
      <sha1>sqizlpx39ytac8xuwc5x4d90an28o41</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Category:Women scientists from Ethiopia</title>
    <ns>14</ns>
    <id>298487</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943908</id>
      <parentid>3834313</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:43:42Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Moving from [[Category:Women from Ethiopia]] to [[Category:Women from Ethiopia by occupation]] using [[c:Help:Cat-a-lot|Cat-a-lot]]</comment>
      <origin>3943908</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="134" sha1="fr7d1rskjkh4db0x3a15f94jnrm1aw7" xml:space="preserve">[[Category:Women scientists by country|Ethiopia]]
[[Category:Women from Ethiopia by occupation]]
[[Category:Scientists from Ethiopia]]</text>
      <sha1>fr7d1rskjkh4db0x3a15f94jnrm1aw7</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Category:Women academics from Ethiopia</title>
    <ns>14</ns>
    <id>298977</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943907</id>
      <parentid>3840365</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:43:42Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Moving from [[Category:Women from Ethiopia]] to [[Category:Women from Ethiopia by occupation]] using [[c:Help:Cat-a-lot|Cat-a-lot]]</comment>
      <origin>3943907</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="133" sha1="acmbeszo7x78ly7zcbry50ip0v830xp" xml:space="preserve">[[Category:Women academics by country|Ethiopia]]
[[Category:Women from Ethiopia by occupation]]
[[Category:Scientists from Ethiopia]]</text>
      <sha1>acmbeszo7x78ly7zcbry50ip0v830xp</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Category:Women scientists from Japan</title>
    <ns>14</ns>
    <id>298980</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943932</id>
      <parentid>3840378</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:52:39Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Moving from [[Category:Women from Japan]] to [[Category:Women from Japan by occupation]] using [[c:Help:Cat-a-lot|Cat-a-lot]]</comment>
      <origin>3943932</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="125" sha1="hefguz1v3isntn59za7yqbqa2oh9y0r" xml:space="preserve">[[Category:Women scientists by country|Japan]]
[[Category:Women from Japan by occupation]]
[[Category:Scientists from Japan]]</text>
      <sha1>hefguz1v3isntn59za7yqbqa2oh9y0r</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Caillou (Season 1)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>301391</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943955</id>
      <parentid>3943574</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T14:23:19Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Caillou Joins the Circus (Eternally Suspended, Banned, and Censored Episode) [1.2c] */</comment>
      <origin>3943955</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="11759" sha1="f4ze7z1tn7m4l2qy3h2nsxw5vnimkz9" xml:space="preserve">===Caillou Makes Cookies [1.1a]===
:'''Doris''': Caillou, what are you making?
:'''Caillou''': ''[smiling softly]'' I'm making cookies.

===Caillou at Daycare [1.2b]===
:'''Leo''': ''[comes over to Caillou, but gets annoyed, and calls out to him]'' Hey! ''[snatches his one block from Caillou, causing the cup to spill over his shirt]'' These were my blocks!
:'''Caillou''': ''[fearfully looking at his shirt, gasps in terror, and gets terrified where a glass of apple juice was spilled over it out of the cup, which made himself loudly, badly, and sadly screaming, and crying, in tears in his eyes, for his mom]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''MMM-O-O-O-MMMMMMYYY!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[getting very upset in sadness]''
:'''Leo''': ''[rudely laughs to Caillou, and impolitely makes fun of him needing his mom]'' Your mommy was gone. ''[smirkly walks away]''

===Caillou Joins the Circus (Eternally Suspended, Banned, and Censored Episode) [1.2c]===
:'''Caillou''': ''[while happily brushing his teeth, and remarks]'' I didn't need to be late for the circus.
:'''Boris''': ''[confused]'' Hmm? The circus? ''[concerned, while trying to explain]'' Uh... nope. Caillou, this was not today. ''[bored, while proving to Caillou that he was very wrong]'' The circus wasn't until tomorrow.
:'''Caillou''': ''[suddenly stops happily brushing his teeth before he gasps in terror, after he was incorrect, and gets too much distressed, and became terrified]'' Oh, no!!!!!! ''[getting very upset, and badly sadly whining, with his declaration]'' But it is today!!!!!! And I am getting all dressed!!!!!! ''[badly, and sadly crying, whining and sobbing with tears breaking down in his eyes, now being harassed by the fact that this was happening, over his big mistake]'' And that's today!!!!!!
:'''Boris''': ''[grumpily neglecting Caillou's challenges]'' Aaaaaaaawwwwwwww! Come along, Caillou! ''[calmly tells Caillou to come downstairs to the kitchen]'' Just come downstairs and help me make breakfast. ''[walks out of the bathroom]''
:'''Caillou''': ''[now very promptly getting very pissed, out of rage, angry, tabooed, enraged, indignant, stubborn, and upset at Boris, and losing his temper, for pissing, enraging, and angering him, and denies, and won't come downstairs to the kitchen to help his dad make breakfast]'' No!!!!!! No, I can't do that!!!!!! ''[angrily, indignantly, and stubbornly sits down on the floor, and indignantly, stubbornly, and angrily growls with his mouth close, and his eyes open, then picks up his nearby toy car out of the toy bucket, to make himself feel a little better]'' Vroom, vroom, vroom! ''[mockingly vrooming, and playing his nearby toy car, with his very upset, pissed, stubborn, and angry face on, but until one of the wheels unintentionally got loose, and fell off on the floor, and then he gasps in terror, and became terrified again, and then picks up his nearby toy car, and then getting even more very pissed, hurtful, out of rage, sad, fierce, bad-tempered, enraged, stubborn, indignant, terrible, tabooed, disgusted, upset, angry, dangerous, rude, mean, and violent, and stubbornly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently outbursting into stubbornly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently screaming, crying, shouting, and calling his nearby toy car a very bad, stronger, profane, disgusting, indignant, mean, rude, and hurtful word, disregarding, and repeatedly using several times, for name calling, but ignoring that it could hurt feelings, with tears breaking down in his eyes, and his eyes close, very tightly, and violently, fiercely, badly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily shaking his nearby toy car]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''You stupid, ol' car!!!!!! You are stupid!!!!!!-Stupid!!!!!!-Stupid!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[violently, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily growling, with his eyes close, very tightly, and his mouth close, and badly, fiercely, stubbornly, angrily, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently throwing, and slamming his nearby toy car down on the floor away, when violently, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, angrily, stubbornly, terribly, and indignantly causing it to violently, fiercely, badly, completely, and terribly ruin, damage, wreck, break, destroy, and smash into thousands of pieces on purpose, and then indignantly, badly, loudly, sadly, fiercely, stubbornly, rudely, violently, and angrily screaming, shrieking, and crying, and bursting, and breaking down with tears coming out of his eyes, and violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly causing too much trouble, and while violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and badly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, stubbornly, violently, rudely, indignantly, and angrily feeling very cruel of what he had missed, and unfinished, while temperately heedles of how he had hurt feelings, and violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly causing too much trouble, and violently, fiercely, terribly, sadly, badly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily having his really bad, too inappropriate, hurtful, dangerous, and violent misbehavior, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, violently, and angrily hurting, pounding, and banging his arms, and  fists, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, angrily, and violently hurting, and kicking his legs, and feet against on the floor, over his completely ruined, damaged, wrecked, broken, destroyed, and smashed nearby toy car, and not coming to the circus today, and denies, and won't wait until tomorrow]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Storyteller''': ''[off-screen]'' Caillou was being a very bad boy now! But he was not coming to the circus today.
:'''Boris''': ''[angrily, terribly, and rudely stunned, when angrily, terribly, and rudely hears Caillou, and was now getting very enraged, angry, terrible, and rude at him, in the approach, because of him, badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, violently, stubbornly, angrily, rudely, and indignantly having his really bad, violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, rudely, violently, indignantly, stubbornly, and angrily outbursting having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, huge, gigantic, and temper tantrum, in inertia, and disgust, and terribly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, violently, rudely, indignantly, and angrily screaming, shrieking, shouting, and crying a very bad, disgusting, rude, indignant, stronger, profane, hurtful, and mean word, disregarding, in violence, fierce, terror, indignant, anger, danger, disgust, and sadness, for name calling, and that he hurts feelings, and was now coming back to the bathroom, and returning to the bathroom, and angrily, terribly, and rudely growling, and running over Caillou, by making him stop outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, and huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and having his really bad violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and causing too much trouble, and now arriving this time, while holding Rosie, who was very scared, upset, and was crying, breaking down with tears in her eyes, when Caillou was waking her up, by outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, amd huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and having his really bad, violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and causing too much trouble, and  was loudly, angrily, terribly, and rudely shouting at Caillou, and was angrily, terribly, and rudely blaming him for not coming downstairs to the kitchen, and was looking like he was angrily, terribly, and rudely getting ready to angrily, terribly, and rudely punish him, for one whole day, for the very first time, for outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, huge temper tantrum, in inertia, over not coming to the circus today, and having his really bad, hurtful, too inappropriate, dangerous, and violent misbehavior, and screaming, crying, and shouting a very bad, stronger, profane, disgusting, indignant, mean, rude, and hurtful word, disregarding, and repeatedly using several times, for name calling, and that he hurts feelings, and causing too much trouble]'' Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!! Get along, Caillou!!!!!! Stop all that racket!!!!!! You are waking up Rosie!!!!!! ''[still significantly, roughly, seriously, and sternly commands Caillou that he will still immediately come downstairs to the kitchen to help him make breakfast quickly]'' I need you to come right down the stairs, now.
:'''Storyteller''': ''[off-screen]'' Even though, Caillou's dad has started to get really angry at him. ''[Boris angrily, terribly, and rudely strikes, and glares at Caillou, while angrily, terribly, and rudely growling again at him, with his mouth close, and his eyes open, and before angrily, terribly, and rudely growling again, with his mouth open, his eyes open, and his teeth close, and turns around, while angrily, terribly, and rudely stomping away out from the bathroom, and angrily, terribly, and rudely stomping away downstairs to the kitchen, holding Rosie, who was very upset, scared, and crying, breaking down with tears in her eyes]''
:'''Caillou''': ''[gets terrified again, after he badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, indignantly, stubbornly, regretfully, and angrily misjudged, confronted, and disobeyed Boris, and his order, and got in big trouble, and was punished, for one whole day, for the very first time, and got very pissed, hurtful, frustrated, out of rage, tabooed, upset, bad-tempered, angry, indignant, fierce, stubborn, enraged, terrible, sad, panicky, scared, and regretful, then gets up, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, indignantly, and regretfully grunting, sobbing, whining, and crying with tears in his eyes]'' But why can't I go to the circus today?!!!?!!! ''[angrily, badly, indignantly, fiercely, stubbornly, and terribly growling again with his mouth close, when angrily, badly, indignantly, fiercely, stubbornly, and terribly kicking aside his completely ruined, damaged, wrecked, broken, destroyed, and smashed nearby toy car away on the floor, and started indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully running away from the bathroom, indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully storming off from the bathroom, and indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully running after Boris, feeling very indignant, scared, fierce, enraged, tabooed, bad-tempered, panicky, sad, stubborn, regretful, terrible, angry, out of rage, pissed, hurtful, frustrated, and upset, over not coming to the circus today, until tomorrow, but about him wanting to go to the circus today, badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, angrily, stubbornly, and indignantly confronting, whining, sobbing, sniffing, grunting, and crying, about his punishment, for the very first time, that he got, for one whole day, breaking down with tears in his eyes, before coming downstairs to the kitchen to help his dad make breakfast, but still denies, and won't help him make breakfast]'' I want to go to the circus today!!!!!!</text>
      <sha1>f4ze7z1tn7m4l2qy3h2nsxw5vnimkz9</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943991</id>
      <parentid>3943955</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T17:23:31Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Caillou Joins the Circus (Eternally Suspended, Banned, and Censored Episode) [1.2c] */</comment>
      <origin>3943991</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="11788" sha1="tqtyxov6kbuh4ruxeyc4zh8s6p57n93" xml:space="preserve">===Caillou Makes Cookies [1.1a]===
:'''Doris''': Caillou, what are you making?
:'''Caillou''': ''[smiling softly]'' I'm making cookies.

===Caillou at Daycare [1.2b]===
:'''Leo''': ''[comes over to Caillou, but gets annoyed, and calls out to him]'' Hey! ''[snatches his one block from Caillou, causing the cup to spill over his shirt]'' These were my blocks!
:'''Caillou''': ''[fearfully looking at his shirt, gasps in terror, and gets terrified where a glass of apple juice was spilled over it out of the cup, which made himself loudly, badly, and sadly screaming, and crying, in tears in his eyes, for his mom]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''MMM-O-O-O-MMMMMMYYY!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[getting very upset in sadness]''
:'''Leo''': ''[rudely laughs to Caillou, and impolitely makes fun of him needing his mom]'' Your mommy was gone. ''[smirkly walks away]''

===Caillou Joins the Circus (Eternally Suspended, Banned, and Censored Episode) [1.2c]===
:'''Caillou''': ''[while happily brushing his teeth, and remarks]'' I didn't need to be late for the circus.
:'''Boris''': ''[confused]'' Hmm? The circus? ''[concerned, while trying to explain]'' Uh... nope. Caillou, this was not today. ''[bored, while proving to Caillou that he was very wrong]'' The circus wasn't until tomorrow.
:'''Caillou''': ''[suddenly stops happily brushing his teeth before he gasps in terror, after he was incorrect, and gets too much distressed, and became terrified]'' Oh, no!!!!!! ''[getting very upset, and badly sadly whining, with his declaration]'' But it is today!!!!!! And I am getting all dressed!!!!!! ''[badly, and sadly crying, whining and sobbing with tears breaking down in his eyes, now being harassed by the fact that this was happening, over his big mistake]'' And that's today!!!!!!
:'''Boris''': ''[grumpily neglecting Caillou's challenges]'' Aaaaaaaawwwwwwww! Come along, Caillou! ''[calmly tells Caillou to come downstairs to the kitchen]'' Just come downstairs and help me make breakfast. ''[walks out of the bathroom]''
:'''Caillou''': ''[now very promptly getting very pissed, out of rage, angry, tabooed, enraged, indignant, stubborn, and upset at Boris, and losing his temper, for pissing, enraging, and angering him, and denies, and won't come downstairs to the kitchen to help his dad make breakfast]'' No!!!!!! No, I can't do that!!!!!! ''[angrily, indignantly, and stubbornly sits down on the floor, and indignantly, stubbornly, and angrily growls with his mouth close, and his eyes open, then picks up his nearby toy car out of the toy bucket, and decided to play with it, to make himself feel a little better]'' Vroom, vroom, vroom! ''[mockingly vrooming, and playing his nearby toy car, with his very upset, pissed, stubborn, and angry face on, but until one of the wheels unintentionally got loose, and fell off on the floor, and then he gasps in terror, and became terrified again, and then picks up his nearby toy car, and then getting even more very pissed, hurtful, out of rage, sad, fierce, bad-tempered, enraged, stubborn, indignant, terrible, tabooed, disgusted, upset, angry, dangerous, rude, mean, and violent, and stubbornly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently outbursting into stubbornly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently screaming, crying, shouting, and calling his nearby toy car a very bad, stronger, profane, disgusting, indignant, mean, rude, and hurtful word, disregarding, and repeatedly using several times, for name calling, but ignoring that it could hurt feelings, with tears breaking down in his eyes, and his eyes close, very tightly, and violently, fiercely, badly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily shaking his nearby toy car]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''You stupid, ol' car!!!!!! You are stupid!!!!!!-Stupid!!!!!!-Stupid!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[violently, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily growling, with his eyes close, very tightly, and his mouth close, and badly, fiercely, stubbornly, angrily, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently throwing, and slamming his nearby toy car down on the floor away, when violently, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, angrily, stubbornly, terribly, and indignantly causing it to violently, fiercely, badly, completely, and terribly ruin, damage, wreck, break, destroy, and smash into thousands of pieces on purpose, and then indignantly, badly, loudly, sadly, fiercely, stubbornly, rudely, violently, and angrily screaming, shrieking, and crying, and bursting, and breaking down with tears coming out of his eyes, and violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly causing too much trouble, and while violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and badly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, stubbornly, violently, rudely, indignantly, and angrily feeling very cruel of what he had missed, and unfinished, while temperately heedles of how he had hurt feelings, and violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly causing too much trouble, and violently, fiercely, terribly, sadly, badly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily having his really bad, too inappropriate, hurtful, dangerous, and violent misbehavior, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, violently, and angrily hurting, pounding, and banging his arms, and  fists, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, angrily, and violently hurting, and kicking his legs, and feet against on the floor, over his completely ruined, damaged, wrecked, broken, destroyed, and smashed nearby toy car, and not coming to the circus today, and denies, and won't wait until tomorrow]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Storyteller''': ''[off-screen]'' Caillou was being a very bad boy now! But he was not coming to the circus today.
:'''Boris''': ''[angrily, terribly, and rudely stunned, when angrily, terribly, and rudely hears Caillou, and was now getting very enraged, angry, terrible, and rude at him, in the approach, because of him, badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, violently, stubbornly, angrily, rudely, and indignantly having his really bad, violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, rudely, violently, indignantly, stubbornly, and angrily outbursting having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, huge, gigantic, and temper tantrum, in inertia, and disgust, and terribly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, violently, rudely, indignantly, and angrily screaming, shrieking, shouting, and crying a very bad, disgusting, rude, indignant, stronger, profane, hurtful, and mean word, disregarding, in violence, fierce, terror, indignant, anger, danger, disgust, and sadness, for name calling, and that he hurts feelings, and was now coming back to the bathroom, and returning to the bathroom, and angrily, terribly, and rudely growling, and running over Caillou, by making him stop outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, and huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and having his really bad violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and causing too much trouble, and now arriving this time, while holding Rosie, who was very scared, upset, and was crying, breaking down with tears in her eyes, when Caillou was waking her up, by outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, amd huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and having his really bad, violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and causing too much trouble, and  was loudly, angrily, terribly, and rudely shouting at Caillou, and was angrily, terribly, and rudely blaming him for not coming downstairs to the kitchen, and was looking like he was angrily, terribly, and rudely getting ready to angrily, terribly, and rudely punish him, for one whole day, for the very first time, for outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, huge temper tantrum, in inertia, over not coming to the circus today, and having his really bad, hurtful, too inappropriate, dangerous, and violent misbehavior, and screaming, crying, and shouting a very bad, stronger, profane, disgusting, indignant, mean, rude, and hurtful word, disregarding, and repeatedly using several times, for name calling, and that he hurts feelings, and causing too much trouble]'' Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!! Get along, Caillou!!!!!! Stop all that racket!!!!!! You are waking up Rosie!!!!!! ''[still significantly, roughly, seriously, and sternly commands Caillou that he will still immediately come downstairs to the kitchen to help him make breakfast quickly]'' I need you to come right down the stairs, now.
:'''Storyteller''': ''[off-screen]'' Even though, Caillou's dad has started to get really angry at him. ''[Boris angrily, terribly, and rudely strikes, and glares at Caillou, while angrily, terribly, and rudely growling again at him, with his mouth close, and his eyes open, and before angrily, terribly, and rudely growling again, with his mouth open, his eyes open, and his teeth close, and turns around, while angrily, terribly, and rudely stomping away out from the bathroom, and angrily, terribly, and rudely stomping away downstairs to the kitchen, holding Rosie, who was very upset, scared, and crying, breaking down with tears in her eyes]''
:'''Caillou''': ''[gets terrified again, after he badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, indignantly, stubbornly, regretfully, and angrily misjudged, confronted, and disobeyed Boris, and his order, and got in big trouble, and was punished, for one whole day, for the very first time, and got very pissed, hurtful, frustrated, out of rage, tabooed, upset, bad-tempered, angry, indignant, fierce, stubborn, enraged, terrible, sad, panicky, scared, and regretful, then gets up, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, indignantly, and regretfully grunting, sobbing, whining, and crying with tears in his eyes]'' But why can't I go to the circus today?!!!?!!! ''[angrily, badly, indignantly, fiercely, stubbornly, and terribly growling again with his mouth close, when angrily, badly, indignantly, fiercely, stubbornly, and terribly kicking aside his completely ruined, damaged, wrecked, broken, destroyed, and smashed nearby toy car away on the floor, and started indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully running away from the bathroom, indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully storming off from the bathroom, and indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully running after Boris, feeling very indignant, scared, fierce, enraged, tabooed, bad-tempered, panicky, sad, stubborn, regretful, terrible, angry, out of rage, pissed, hurtful, frustrated, and upset, over not coming to the circus today, until tomorrow, but about him wanting to go to the circus today, badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, angrily, stubbornly, and indignantly confronting, whining, sobbing, sniffing, grunting, and crying, about his punishment, for the very first time, that he got, for one whole day, breaking down with tears in his eyes, before coming downstairs to the kitchen to help his dad make breakfast, but still denies, and won't help him make breakfast]'' I want to go to the circus today!!!!!!</text>
      <sha1>tqtyxov6kbuh4ruxeyc4zh8s6p57n93</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944011</id>
      <parentid>3943991</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T18:58:54Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Caillou Joins the Circus (Eternally Suspended, Banned, and Censored Episode) [1.2c] */</comment>
      <origin>3944011</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="11788" sha1="i1dnde3m43b0ne6dr4j727yrwbkhvj7" xml:space="preserve">===Caillou Makes Cookies [1.1a]===
:'''Doris''': Caillou, what are you making?
:'''Caillou''': ''[smiling softly]'' I'm making cookies.

===Caillou at Daycare [1.2b]===
:'''Leo''': ''[comes over to Caillou, but gets annoyed, and calls out to him]'' Hey! ''[snatches his one block from Caillou, causing the cup to spill over his shirt]'' These were my blocks!
:'''Caillou''': ''[fearfully looking at his shirt, gasps in terror, and gets terrified where a glass of apple juice was spilled over it out of the cup, which made himself loudly, badly, and sadly screaming, and crying, in tears in his eyes, for his mom]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''MMM-O-O-O-MMMMMMYYY!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[getting very upset in sadness]''
:'''Leo''': ''[rudely laughs to Caillou, and impolitely makes fun of him needing his mom]'' Your mommy was gone. ''[smirkly walks away]''

===Caillou Joins the Circus (Eternally Suspended, Banned, and Censored Episode) [1.2c]===
:'''Caillou''': ''[while happily brushing his teeth, and remarks]'' I didn't need to be late for the circus.
:'''Boris''': ''[confused]'' Hmm? The circus? ''[concerned, while trying to explain]'' Uh... nope. Caillou, this was not today. ''[bored, while proving to Caillou that he was very wrong]'' The circus wasn't until tomorrow.
:'''Caillou''': ''[suddenly stops happily brushing his teeth before he gasps in terror, after he was incorrect, and gets too much distressed, and became terrified]'' Oh, no!!!!!! ''[getting very upset, and badly sadly whining, with his declaration]'' But it is today!!!!!! And I am getting all dressed!!!!!! ''[badly, and sadly crying, whining and sobbing with tears breaking down in his eyes, now being harassed by the fact that this was happening, over his big mistake]'' And that's today!!!!!!
:'''Boris''': ''[grumpily neglecting Caillou's challenges]'' Aaaaaaaawwwwwwww! Come along, Caillou! ''[calmly tells Caillou to come downstairs to the kitchen]'' Just come downstairs and help me make breakfast. ''[walks out of the bathroom]''
:'''Caillou''': ''[now very promptly getting very pissed, out of rage, angry, tabooed, enraged, indignant, stubborn, and upset at Boris, and losing his temper, for pissing, enraging, and angering him, and denies, and won't come downstairs to the kitchen to help his dad make breakfast]'' No!!!!!! No, I can't do that!!!!!! ''[angrily, indignantly, and stubbornly sits down on the floor, and indignantly, stubbornly, and angrily growls with his mouth close, and his eyes open, then picks up his nearby toy car out of the toy bucket, and decides to play with it, to make himself feel a little better]'' Vroom, vroom, vroom! ''[mockingly vrooming, and playing his nearby toy car, with his very upset, pissed, stubborn, and angry face on, but until one of the wheels unintentionally got loose, and fell off on the floor, and then he gasps in terror, and became terrified again, and then picks up his nearby toy car, and then getting even more very pissed, hurtful, out of rage, sad, fierce, bad-tempered, enraged, stubborn, indignant, terrible, tabooed, disgusted, upset, angry, dangerous, rude, mean, and violent, and stubbornly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently outbursting into stubbornly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently screaming, crying, shouting, and calling his nearby toy car a very bad, stronger, profane, disgusting, indignant, mean, rude, and hurtful word, disregarding, and repeatedly using several times, for name calling, but ignoring that it could hurt feelings, with tears breaking down in his eyes, and his eyes close, very tightly, and violently, fiercely, badly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily shaking his nearby toy car]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''You stupid, ol' car!!!!!! You are stupid!!!!!!-Stupid!!!!!!-Stupid!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[violently, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily growling, with his eyes close, very tightly, and his mouth close, and badly, fiercely, stubbornly, angrily, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently throwing, and slamming his nearby toy car down on the floor away, when violently, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, angrily, stubbornly, terribly, and indignantly causing it to violently, fiercely, badly, completely, and terribly ruin, damage, wreck, break, destroy, and smash into thousands of pieces on purpose, and then indignantly, badly, loudly, sadly, fiercely, stubbornly, rudely, violently, and angrily screaming, shrieking, and crying, and bursting, and breaking down with tears coming out of his eyes, and violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly causing too much trouble, and while violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and badly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, stubbornly, violently, rudely, indignantly, and angrily feeling very cruel of what he had missed, and unfinished, while temperately heedles of how he had hurt feelings, and violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly causing too much trouble, and violently, fiercely, terribly, sadly, badly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily having his really bad, too inappropriate, hurtful, dangerous, and violent misbehavior, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, violently, and angrily hurting, pounding, and banging his arms, and  fists, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, angrily, and violently hurting, and kicking his legs, and feet against on the floor, over his completely ruined, damaged, wrecked, broken, destroyed, and smashed nearby toy car, and not coming to the circus today, and denies, and won't wait until tomorrow]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Storyteller''': ''[off-screen]'' Caillou was being a very bad boy now! But he was not coming to the circus today.
:'''Boris''': ''[angrily, terribly, and rudely stunned, when angrily, terribly, and rudely hears Caillou, and was now getting very enraged, angry, terrible, and rude at him, in the approach, because of him, badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, violently, stubbornly, angrily, rudely, and indignantly having his really bad, violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, rudely, violently, indignantly, stubbornly, and angrily outbursting having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, huge, gigantic, and temper tantrum, in inertia, and disgust, and terribly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, violently, rudely, indignantly, and angrily screaming, shrieking, shouting, and crying a very bad, disgusting, rude, indignant, stronger, profane, hurtful, and mean word, disregarding, in violence, fierce, terror, indignant, anger, danger, disgust, and sadness, for name calling, and that he hurts feelings, and was now coming back to the bathroom, and returning to the bathroom, and angrily, terribly, and rudely growling, and running over Caillou, by making him stop outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, and huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and having his really bad violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and causing too much trouble, and now arriving this time, while holding Rosie, who was very scared, upset, and was crying, breaking down with tears in her eyes, when Caillou was waking her up, by outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, amd huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and having his really bad, violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and causing too much trouble, and  was loudly, angrily, terribly, and rudely shouting at Caillou, and was angrily, terribly, and rudely blaming him for not coming downstairs to the kitchen, and was looking like he was angrily, terribly, and rudely getting ready to angrily, terribly, and rudely punish him, for one whole day, for the very first time, for outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, huge temper tantrum, in inertia, over not coming to the circus today, and having his really bad, hurtful, too inappropriate, dangerous, and violent misbehavior, and screaming, crying, and shouting a very bad, stronger, profane, disgusting, indignant, mean, rude, and hurtful word, disregarding, and repeatedly using several times, for name calling, and that he hurts feelings, and causing too much trouble]'' Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!! Get along, Caillou!!!!!! Stop all that racket!!!!!! You are waking up Rosie!!!!!! ''[still significantly, roughly, seriously, and sternly commands Caillou that he will still immediately come downstairs to the kitchen to help him make breakfast quickly]'' I need you to come right down the stairs, now.
:'''Storyteller''': ''[off-screen]'' Even though, Caillou's dad has started to get really angry at him. ''[Boris angrily, terribly, and rudely strikes, and glares at Caillou, while angrily, terribly, and rudely growling again at him, with his mouth close, and his eyes open, and before angrily, terribly, and rudely growling again, with his mouth open, his eyes open, and his teeth close, and turns around, while angrily, terribly, and rudely stomping away out from the bathroom, and angrily, terribly, and rudely stomping away downstairs to the kitchen, holding Rosie, who was very upset, scared, and crying, breaking down with tears in her eyes]''
:'''Caillou''': ''[gets terrified again, after he badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, indignantly, stubbornly, regretfully, and angrily misjudged, confronted, and disobeyed Boris, and his order, and got in big trouble, and was punished, for one whole day, for the very first time, and got very pissed, hurtful, frustrated, out of rage, tabooed, upset, bad-tempered, angry, indignant, fierce, stubborn, enraged, terrible, sad, panicky, scared, and regretful, then gets up, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, indignantly, and regretfully grunting, sobbing, whining, and crying with tears in his eyes]'' But why can't I go to the circus today?!!!?!!! ''[angrily, badly, indignantly, fiercely, stubbornly, and terribly growling again with his mouth close, when angrily, badly, indignantly, fiercely, stubbornly, and terribly kicking aside his completely ruined, damaged, wrecked, broken, destroyed, and smashed nearby toy car away on the floor, and started indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully running away from the bathroom, indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully storming off from the bathroom, and indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully running after Boris, feeling very indignant, scared, fierce, enraged, tabooed, bad-tempered, panicky, sad, stubborn, regretful, terrible, angry, out of rage, pissed, hurtful, frustrated, and upset, over not coming to the circus today, until tomorrow, but about him wanting to go to the circus today, badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, angrily, stubbornly, and indignantly confronting, whining, sobbing, sniffing, grunting, and crying, about his punishment, for the very first time, that he got, for one whole day, breaking down with tears in his eyes, before coming downstairs to the kitchen to help his dad make breakfast, but still denies, and won't help him make breakfast]'' I want to go to the circus today!!!!!!</text>
      <sha1>i1dnde3m43b0ne6dr4j727yrwbkhvj7</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944034</id>
      <parentid>3944011</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T21:02:30Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Caillou Joins the Circus (Eternally Suspended, Banned, and Censored Episode) [1.2c] */</comment>
      <origin>3944034</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="11918" sha1="ifmhbhfhsap4lfu3gr5kongfgtclw42" xml:space="preserve">===Caillou Makes Cookies [1.1a]===
:'''Doris''': Caillou, what are you making?
:'''Caillou''': ''[smiling softly]'' I'm making cookies.

===Caillou at Daycare [1.2b]===
:'''Leo''': ''[comes over to Caillou, but gets annoyed, and calls out to him]'' Hey! ''[snatches his one block from Caillou, causing the cup to spill over his shirt]'' These were my blocks!
:'''Caillou''': ''[fearfully looking at his shirt, gasps in terror, and gets terrified where a glass of apple juice was spilled over it out of the cup, which made himself loudly, badly, and sadly screaming, and crying, in tears in his eyes, for his mom]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''MMM-O-O-O-MMMMMMYYY!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[getting very upset in sadness]''
:'''Leo''': ''[rudely laughs to Caillou, and impolitely makes fun of him needing his mom]'' Your mommy was gone. ''[smirkly walks away]''

===Caillou Joins the Circus (Eternally Suspended, Banned, and Censored Episode) [1.2c]===
:'''Caillou''': ''[while happily brushing his teeth, and remarks]'' I didn't need to be late for the circus.
:'''Boris''': ''[confused]'' Hmm? The circus? ''[concerned, while trying to explain]'' Uh... nope. Caillou, this was not today. ''[bored, while proving to Caillou that he was very wrong]'' The circus wasn't until tomorrow.
:'''Caillou''': ''[suddenly stops happily brushing his teeth before he gasps in terror, after he was incorrect, and gets too much distressed, and became terrified]'' Oh, no!!!!!! ''[getting very upset, and badly sadly whining, with his declaration]'' But it is today!!!!!! And I am getting all dressed!!!!!! ''[badly, and sadly crying, whining and sobbing with tears breaking down in his eyes, now being harassed by the fact that this was happening, over his big mistake]'' And that's today!!!!!!
:'''Boris''': ''[grumpily neglecting Caillou's challenges]'' Aaaaaaaawwwwwwww! Come along, Caillou! ''[calmly tells Caillou to come downstairs to the kitchen]'' Just come downstairs and help me make breakfast. ''[walks out of the bathroom]''
:'''Caillou''': ''[now very promptly getting very pissed, out of rage, angry, tabooed, enraged, indignant, stubborn, and upset at Boris, and losing his temper, for pissing, enraging, and angering him, and denies, and won't come downstairs to the kitchen to help his dad make breakfast]'' No!!!!!! No, I can't do that!!!!!! ''[angrily, indignantly, and stubbornly sits down on the floor, and indignantly, stubbornly, and angrily growls with his mouth close, and his eyes open, then picks up his nearby toy car out of the toy bucket, and decides to play with it, to make himself feel a little better]'' Vroom, vroom, vroom! ''[mockingly vrooming, and playing his nearby toy car, with his very upset, pissed, stubborn, and angry face on, but until one of the wheels unintentionally got loose, and fell off on the floor, and then he gasps in terror, and became terrified again, and then picks up his nearby toy car, and then getting even more very pissed, hurtful, out of rage, sad, fierce, bad-tempered, enraged, stubborn, indignant, terrible, tabooed, disgusted, upset, angry, dangerous, rude, mean, and violent, and stubbornly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently outbursting into stubbornly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently screaming, crying, shouting, and calling his nearby toy car a very bad, stronger, profane, disgusting, indignant, mean, rude, and hurtful word, disregarding, and repeatedly using several times, for name calling, but ignoring that it could hurt feelings, with tears breaking down in his eyes, and his eyes close, very tightly, and violently, fiercely, badly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily shaking his nearby toy car]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''You stupid, ol' car!!!!!! You are stupid!!!!!!-Stupid!!!!!!-Stupid!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[violently, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily growling, with his eyes close, very tightly, and his mouth close, and badly, fiercely, stubbornly, angrily, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently throwing, and slamming his nearby toy car down on the floor away, when violently, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, angrily, stubbornly, terribly, and indignantly causing it to violently, fiercely, badly, completely, and terribly ruin, damage, wreck, break, destroy, and smash into thousands of pieces on purpose, and then indignantly, badly, loudly, sadly, fiercely, stubbornly, rudely, violently, and angrily screaming, shrieking, and crying, and bursting, and breaking down with tears coming out of his eyes, and violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly causing too much trouble, and while violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and badly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, stubbornly, violently, rudely, indignantly, and angrily feeling very cruel of what he had missed, and unfinished, while temperately heedles of how he had hurt feelings, and violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly causing too much trouble, and violently, fiercely, terribly, sadly, badly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily having his really bad, too inappropriate, hurtful, dangerous, and violent misbehavior, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, violently, and angrily hurting, pounding, and banging his arms, and  fists, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, angrily, and violently hurting, and kicking his legs, and feet against on the floor, over his completely ruined, damaged, wrecked, broken, destroyed, and smashed nearby toy car, and not coming to the circus today, and denies, and won't wait until tomorrow]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Storyteller''': ''[off-screen]'' Caillou was being a very bad boy now! But he was not coming to the circus today.
:'''Boris''': ''[angrily, terribly, and rudely stunned, when angrily, terribly, and rudely hears Caillou, and was now getting very enraged, angry, terrible, and rude at him, in the approach, because of him, badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, violently, stubbornly, angrily, rudely, and indignantly having his really bad, violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, rudely, violently, indignantly, stubbornly, and angrily outbursting having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, huge, gigantic, and temper tantrum, in inertia, and disgust, and terribly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, violently, rudely, indignantly, and angrily screaming, shrieking, shouting, and crying a very bad, disgusting, rude, indignant, stronger, profane, hurtful, and mean word, disregarding, in violence, fierce, terror, indignant, anger, danger, disgust, and sadness, for name calling, and that he hurts feelings, and was now coming back to the bathroom, and returning to the bathroom, and angrily, terribly, and rudely growling, and angrily, terribly, and rudley running over Caillou, while angrily, terribly, and rudely knocking him down, with his foot, by angrily, terribly, and rudely making him stop outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, and huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and having his really bad violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and causing too much trouble, and now arriving this time, while holding Rosie, who was very scared, upset, and was crying, breaking down with tears in her eyes, when Caillou was waking her up, by outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, amd huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and having his really bad, violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and causing too much trouble, and  was loudly, angrily, terribly, and rudely shouting at Caillou, and was angrily, terribly, and rudely blaming him for not coming downstairs to the kitchen, and was looking like he was angrily, terribly, and rudely getting ready to angrily, terribly, and rudely punish him, for one whole day, for the very first time, for outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, huge temper tantrum, in inertia, over not coming to the circus today, and having his really bad, hurtful, too inappropriate, dangerous, and violent misbehavior, and screaming, crying, and shouting a very bad, stronger, profane, disgusting, indignant, mean, rude, and hurtful word, disregarding, and repeatedly using several times, for name calling, and that he hurts feelings, and causing too much trouble]'' Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!! Get along, Caillou!!!!!! Stop all that racket!!!!!! You are waking up Rosie!!!!!! ''[still significantly, roughly, seriously, and sternly commands Caillou that he will still immediately come downstairs to the kitchen to help him make breakfast quickly]'' I need you to come right down the stairs, now.
:'''Storyteller''': ''[off-screen]'' Even though, Caillou's dad has started to get really angry at him. ''[Boris angrily, terribly, and rudely strikes, and glares at Caillou, while angrily, terribly, and rudely growling again at him, with his mouth close, and his eyes open, and before angrily, terribly, and rudely growling again, with his mouth open, his eyes open, and his teeth close, and turns around, while angrily, terribly, and rudely stomping away out from the bathroom, and angrily, terribly, and rudely stomping away downstairs to the kitchen, holding Rosie, who was very upset, scared, and crying, breaking down with tears in her eyes]''
:'''Caillou''': ''[gets terrified again, after he badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, indignantly, stubbornly, regretfully, and angrily misjudged, confronted, and disobeyed Boris, and his order, and got in big trouble, and was punished, for one whole day, for the very first time, and got very pissed, hurtful, frustrated, out of rage, tabooed, upset, bad-tempered, angry, indignant, fierce, stubborn, enraged, terrible, sad, panicky, scared, and regretful, then gets up, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, indignantly, and regretfully grunting, sobbing, whining, and crying with tears in his eyes]'' But why can't I go to the circus today?!!!?!!! ''[angrily, badly, indignantly, fiercely, stubbornly, and terribly growling again with his mouth close, when angrily, badly, indignantly, fiercely, stubbornly, and terribly kicking aside his completely ruined, damaged, wrecked, broken, destroyed, and smashed nearby toy car away on the floor, and started indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully running away from the bathroom, indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully storming off from the bathroom, and indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully running after Boris, feeling very indignant, scared, fierce, enraged, tabooed, bad-tempered, panicky, sad, stubborn, regretful, terrible, angry, out of rage, pissed, hurtful, frustrated, and upset, over not coming to the circus today, until tomorrow, but about him wanting to go to the circus today, badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, angrily, stubbornly, and indignantly confronting, whining, sobbing, sniffing, grunting, and crying, about his punishment, for the very first time, that he got, for one whole day, breaking down with tears in his eyes, before coming downstairs to the kitchen to help his dad make breakfast, but still denies, and won't help him make breakfast]'' I want to go to the circus today!!!!!!</text>
      <sha1>ifmhbhfhsap4lfu3gr5kongfgtclw42</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944037</id>
      <parentid>3944034</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T21:11:22Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Caillou Joins the Circus (Eternally Suspended, Banned, and Censored Episode) [1.2c] */</comment>
      <origin>3944037</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="11908" sha1="9mnq7bwqb1xl0p3866ja2dbgxdy48h2" xml:space="preserve">===Caillou Makes Cookies [1.1a]===
:'''Doris''': Caillou, what are you making?
:'''Caillou''': ''[smiling softly]'' I'm making cookies.

===Caillou at Daycare [1.2b]===
:'''Leo''': ''[comes over to Caillou, but gets annoyed, and calls out to him]'' Hey! ''[snatches his one block from Caillou, causing the cup to spill over his shirt]'' These were my blocks!
:'''Caillou''': ''[fearfully looking at his shirt, gasps in terror, and gets terrified where a glass of apple juice was spilled over it out of the cup, which made himself loudly, badly, and sadly screaming, and crying, in tears in his eyes, for his mom]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''MMM-O-O-O-MMMMMMYYY!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[getting very upset in sadness]''
:'''Leo''': ''[rudely laughs to Caillou, and impolitely makes fun of him needing his mom]'' Your mommy was gone. ''[smirkly walks away]''

===Caillou Joins the Circus (Eternally Suspended, Banned, and Censored Episode) [1.2c]===
:'''Caillou''': ''[while happily brushing his teeth, and remarks]'' I didn't need to be late for the circus.
:'''Boris''': ''[confused]'' Hmm? The circus? ''[concerned, while trying to explain]'' Uh... nope. Caillou, this was not today. ''[bored, while proving to Caillou that he was very wrong]'' The circus wasn't until tomorrow.
:'''Caillou''': ''[suddenly stops happily brushing his teeth before he gasps in terror, after he was incorrect, and gets too much distressed, and became terrified]'' Oh, no!!!!!! ''[getting very upset, and badly sadly whining, with his declaration]'' But it is today!!!!!! And I am getting all dressed!!!!!! ''[badly, and sadly crying, whining and sobbing with tears breaking down in his eyes, now being harassed by the fact that this was happening, over his big mistake]'' And that's today!!!!!!
:'''Boris''': ''[grumpily neglecting Caillou's challenges]'' Aaaaaaaawwwwwwww! Come along, Caillou! ''[calmly tells Caillou to come downstairs to the kitchen]'' Just come downstairs and help me make breakfast. ''[walks out of the bathroom]''
:'''Caillou''': ''[now very promptly getting very pissed, out of rage, angry, tabooed, enraged, indignant, stubborn, and upset at Boris, and losing his temper, for pissing, enraging, and angering him, and denies, and won't come downstairs to the kitchen to help his dad make breakfast]'' No!!!!!! No, I can't do that!!!!!! ''[angrily, indignantly, and stubbornly sits down on the floor, and indignantly, stubbornly, and angrily growls with his mouth close, and his eyes open, then picks up his nearby toy car out of the toy bucket, and decides to play with it, to make himself feel a little better]'' Vroom, vroom, vroom! ''[mockingly vrooming, and playing his nearby toy car, with his very upset, pissed, stubborn, and angry face on, but until one of the wheels unintentionally got loose, and fell off on the floor, and then he gasps in terror, and became terrified again, and then picks up his nearby toy car, and then getting even more very pissed, hurtful, out of rage, sad, fierce, bad-tempered, enraged, stubborn, indignant, terrible, tabooed, disgusted, upset, angry, dangerous, rude, mean, and violent, and stubbornly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently outbursting into stubbornly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently screaming, crying, shouting, and calling his nearby toy car a very bad, stronger, profane, disgusting, indignant, mean, rude, and hurtful word, disregarding, and repeatedly using several times, for name calling, but ignoring that it could hurt feelings, with tears breaking down in his eyes, and his eyes close, very tightly, and violently, fiercely, badly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily shaking his nearby toy car]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''You stupid, ol' car!!!!!! You are stupid!!!!!!-Stupid!!!!!!-Stupid!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[violently, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily growling, with his eyes close, very tightly, and his mouth close, and badly, fiercely, stubbornly, angrily, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently throwing, and slamming his nearby toy car down on the floor away, when violently, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, angrily, stubbornly, terribly, and indignantly causing it to violently, fiercely, badly, completely, and terribly ruin, damage, wreck, break, destroy, and smash into thousands of pieces on purpose, and then indignantly, badly, loudly, sadly, fiercely, stubbornly, rudely, violently, and angrily screaming, shrieking, and crying, and bursting, and breaking down with tears coming out of his eyes, and violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly causing too much trouble, and while violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and badly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, stubbornly, violently, rudely, indignantly, and angrily feeling very cruel of what he had missed, and unfinished, while temperately heedles of how he had hurt feelings, and violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly causing too much trouble, and violently, fiercely, terribly, sadly, badly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily having his really bad, too inappropriate, hurtful, dangerous, and violent misbehavior, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, violently, and angrily hurting, pounding, and banging his arms, and  fists, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, angrily, and violently hurting, and kicking his legs, and feet against on the floor, over his completely ruined, damaged, wrecked, broken, destroyed, and smashed nearby toy car, and not coming to the circus today, and denies, and won't wait until tomorrow]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Storyteller''': ''[off-screen]'' Caillou was being a very bad boy now! But he was not coming to the circus today.
:'''Boris''': ''[angrily, terribly, and rudely stunned, when angrily, terribly, and rudely hears Caillou, and was now getting very enraged, angry, terrible, and rude at him, in the approach, because of him, badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, violently, stubbornly, angrily, rudely, and indignantly having his really bad, violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, rudely, violently, indignantly, stubbornly, and angrily outbursting having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, huge, gigantic, and temper tantrum, in inertia, and disgust, and terribly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, violently, rudely, indignantly, and angrily screaming, shouting, and crying a very bad, disgusting, rude, indignant, stronger, profane, hurtful, and mean word, disregarding, in violence, fierce, terror, indignant, anger, danger, disgust, and sadness, for name calling, and that he hurts feelings, and was now coming back to the bathroom, and returning to the bathroom, and angrily, terribly, and rudely growling, and angrily, terribly, and rudley running over Caillou, while angrily, terribly, and rudely knocking him down, with his foot, by angrily, terribly, and rudely making him stop outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, and huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and having his really bad violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and causing too much trouble, and now arriving this time, while holding Rosie, who was very scared, upset, and was crying, breaking down with tears in her eyes, when Caillou was waking her up, by outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, amd huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and having his really bad, violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and causing too much trouble, and  was loudly, angrily, terribly, and rudely screaming at Caillou, and was angrily, terribly, and rudely blaming him for not coming downstairs to the kitchen, and was looking like he was angrily, terribly, and rudely getting ready to angrily, terribly, and rudely punish him, for one whole day, for the very first time, for outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, huge temper tantrum, in inertia, over not coming to the circus today, and having his really bad, hurtful, too inappropriate, dangerous, and violent misbehavior, and screaming, crying, and shouting a very bad, stronger, profane, disgusting, indignant, mean, rude, and hurtful word, disregarding, and repeatedly using several times, for name calling, and that he hurts feelings, and causing too much trouble]'' Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!! Get along, Caillou!!!!!! Stop all that racket!!!!!! You are waking up Rosie!!!!!! ''[still significantly, roughly, seriously, and sternly commands Caillou that he will still immediately come downstairs to the kitchen to help him make breakfast quickly]'' I need you to come right down the stairs, now.
:'''Storyteller''': ''[off-screen]'' Even though, Caillou's dad has started to get really angry at him. ''[Boris angrily, terribly, and rudely strikes, and glares at Caillou, while angrily, terribly, and rudely growling again at him, with his mouth close, and his eyes open, and before angrily, terribly, and rudely growling again, with his mouth open, his eyes open, and his teeth close, and turns around, while angrily, terribly, and rudely stomping away out from the bathroom, and angrily, terribly, and rudely stomping away downstairs to the kitchen, holding Rosie, who was very upset, scared, and crying, breaking down with tears in her eyes]''
:'''Caillou''': ''[gets terrified again, after he badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, indignantly, stubbornly, regretfully, and angrily misjudged, confronted, and disobeyed Boris, and his order, and got in big trouble, and was punished, for one whole day, for the very first time, and got very pissed, hurtful, frustrated, out of rage, tabooed, upset, bad-tempered, angry, indignant, fierce, stubborn, enraged, terrible, sad, panicky, scared, and regretful, then gets up, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, indignantly, and regretfully grunting, sobbing, whining, and crying with tears in his eyes]'' But why can't I go to the circus today?!!!?!!! ''[angrily, badly, indignantly, fiercely, stubbornly, and terribly growling again with his mouth close, when angrily, badly, indignantly, fiercely, stubbornly, and terribly kicking aside his completely ruined, damaged, wrecked, broken, destroyed, and smashed nearby toy car away on the floor, and started indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully running away from the bathroom, indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully storming off from the bathroom, and indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully running after Boris, feeling very indignant, scared, fierce, enraged, tabooed, bad-tempered, panicky, sad, stubborn, regretful, terrible, angry, out of rage, pissed, hurtful, frustrated, and upset, over not coming to the circus today, until tomorrow, but about him wanting to go to the circus today, badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, angrily, stubbornly, and indignantly confronting, whining, sobbing, sniffing, grunting, and crying, about his punishment, for the very first time, that he got, for one whole day, breaking down with tears in his eyes, before coming downstairs to the kitchen to help his dad make breakfast, but still denies, and won't help him make breakfast]'' I want to go to the circus today!!!!!!</text>
      <sha1>9mnq7bwqb1xl0p3866ja2dbgxdy48h2</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944038</id>
      <parentid>3944037</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T21:12:31Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Caillou Joins the Circus (Eternally Suspended, Banned, and Censored Episode) [1.2c] */</comment>
      <origin>3944038</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="11909" sha1="c1iivczqvypst8gzjn3tn1d7k6jawxt" xml:space="preserve">===Caillou Makes Cookies [1.1a]===
:'''Doris''': Caillou, what are you making?
:'''Caillou''': ''[smiling softly]'' I'm making cookies.

===Caillou at Daycare [1.2b]===
:'''Leo''': ''[comes over to Caillou, but gets annoyed, and calls out to him]'' Hey! ''[snatches his one block from Caillou, causing the cup to spill over his shirt]'' These were my blocks!
:'''Caillou''': ''[fearfully looking at his shirt, gasps in terror, and gets terrified where a glass of apple juice was spilled over it out of the cup, which made himself loudly, badly, and sadly screaming, and crying, in tears in his eyes, for his mom]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''MMM-O-O-O-MMMMMMYYY!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[getting very upset in sadness]''
:'''Leo''': ''[rudely laughs to Caillou, and impolitely makes fun of him needing his mom]'' Your mommy was gone. ''[smirkly walks away]''

===Caillou Joins the Circus (Eternally Suspended, Banned, and Censored Episode) [1.2c]===
:'''Caillou''': ''[while happily brushing his teeth, and remarks]'' I didn't need to be late for the circus.
:'''Boris''': ''[confused]'' Hmm? The circus? ''[concerned, while trying to explain]'' Uh... nope. Caillou, this was not today. ''[bored, while proving to Caillou that he was very wrong]'' The circus wasn't until tomorrow.
:'''Caillou''': ''[suddenly stops happily brushing his teeth before he gasps in terror, after he was incorrect, and gets too much distressed, and became terrified]'' Oh, no!!!!!! ''[getting very upset, and badly sadly whining, with his declaration]'' But it is today!!!!!! And I am getting all dressed!!!!!! ''[badly, and sadly crying, whining and sobbing with tears breaking down in his eyes, now being harassed by the fact that this was happening, over his big mistake]'' And that's today!!!!!!
:'''Boris''': ''[grumpily neglecting Caillou's challenges]'' Aaaaaaaawwwwwwww! Come along, Caillou! ''[calmly tells Caillou to come downstairs to the kitchen]'' Just come downstairs and help me make breakfast. ''[walks out of the bathroom]''
:'''Caillou''': ''[now very promptly getting very pissed, out of rage, angry, tabooed, enraged, indignant, stubborn, and upset at Boris, and losing his temper, for pissing, enraging, and angering him, and denies, and won't come downstairs to the kitchen to help his dad make breakfast]'' No!!!!!! No, I can't do that!!!!!! ''[angrily, indignantly, and stubbornly sits down on the floor, and indignantly, stubbornly, and angrily growls with his mouth close, and his eyes open, then picks up his nearby toy car out of the toy bucket, and decides to play with it, to make himself feel a little better]'' Vroom, vroom, vroom! ''[mockingly vrooming, and playing his nearby toy car, with his very upset, pissed, stubborn, and angry face on, but until one of the wheels unintentionally got loose, and fell off on the floor, and then he gasps in terror, and became terrified again, and then picks up his nearby toy car, and then getting even more very pissed, hurtful, out of rage, sad, fierce, bad-tempered, enraged, stubborn, indignant, terrible, tabooed, disgusted, upset, angry, dangerous, rude, mean, and violent, and stubbornly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently outbursting into stubbornly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently screaming, crying, shouting, and calling his nearby toy car a very bad, stronger, profane, disgusting, indignant, mean, rude, and hurtful word, disregarding, and repeatedly using several times, for name calling, but ignoring that it could hurt feelings, with tears breaking down in his eyes, and his eyes close, very tightly, and violently, fiercely, badly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily shaking his nearby toy car]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''You stupid, ol' car!!!!!! You are stupid!!!!!!-Stupid!!!!!!-Stupid!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[violently, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily growling, with his eyes close, very tightly, and his mouth close, and badly, fiercely, stubbornly, angrily, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently throwing, and slamming his nearby toy car down on the floor away, when violently, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, angrily, stubbornly, terribly, and indignantly causing it to violently, fiercely, badly, completely, and terribly ruin, damage, wreck, break, destroy, and smash into thousands of pieces on purpose, and then indignantly, badly, loudly, sadly, fiercely, stubbornly, rudely, violently, and angrily screaming, shrieking, and crying, and bursting, and breaking down with tears coming out of his eyes, and violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly causing too much trouble, and while violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and badly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, stubbornly, violently, rudely, indignantly, and angrily feeling very cruel of what he had missed, and unfinished, while temperately heedles of how he had hurt feelings, and violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly causing too much trouble, and violently, fiercely, terribly, sadly, badly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily having his really bad, too inappropriate, hurtful, dangerous, and violent misbehavior, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, violently, and angrily hurting, pounding, and banging his arms, and  fists, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, angrily, and violently hurting, and kicking his legs, and feet against on the floor, over his completely ruined, damaged, wrecked, broken, destroyed, and smashed nearby toy car, and not coming to the circus today, and denies, and won't wait until tomorrow]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Storyteller''': ''[off-screen]'' Caillou was being a very bad boy now! But he was not coming to the circus today.
:'''Boris''': ''[angrily, terribly, and rudely stunned, when angrily, terribly, and rudely hears Caillou, and was now getting very enraged, angry, terrible, and rude at him, in the approach, because of him, badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, violently, stubbornly, angrily, rudely, and indignantly having his really bad, violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, rudely, violently, indignantly, stubbornly, and angrily outbursting having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, huge, gigantic, and temper tantrum, in inertia, and disgust, and terribly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, violently, rudely, indignantly, and angrily screaming, shouting, and crying a very bad, disgusting, rude, indignant, stronger, profane, hurtful, and mean word, disregarding, in violence, fierce, terror, indignant, anger, danger, disgust, and sadness, for name calling, and that he hurts feelings, and was now coming back to the bathroom, and returning to the bathroom, and angrily, terribly, and rudely growling, and angrily, terribly, and rudley running over Caillou, while angrily, terribly, and rudely knocking him down, with his foot, by angrily, terribly, and rudely making him stop outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, and huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and having his really bad violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and causing too much trouble, and now arriving this time, while holding Rosie, who was very scared, upset, and was crying, breaking down with tears in her eyes, when Caillou was waking her up, by outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, amd huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and having his really bad, violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and causing too much trouble, and  was loudly, angrily, terribly, and rudely thundering at Caillou, and was angrily, terribly, and rudely blaming him for not coming downstairs to the kitchen, and was looking like he was angrily, terribly, and rudely getting ready to angrily, terribly, and rudely punish him, for one whole day, for the very first time, for outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, huge temper tantrum, in inertia, over not coming to the circus today, and having his really bad, hurtful, too inappropriate, dangerous, and violent misbehavior, and screaming, crying, and shouting a very bad, stronger, profane, disgusting, indignant, mean, rude, and hurtful word, disregarding, and repeatedly using several times, for name calling, and that he hurts feelings, and causing too much trouble]'' Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!! Get along, Caillou!!!!!! Stop all that racket!!!!!! You are waking up Rosie!!!!!! ''[still significantly, roughly, seriously, and sternly commands Caillou that he will still immediately come downstairs to the kitchen to help him make breakfast quickly]'' I need you to come right down the stairs, now.
:'''Storyteller''': ''[off-screen]'' Even though, Caillou's dad has started to get really angry at him. ''[Boris angrily, terribly, and rudely strikes, and glares at Caillou, while angrily, terribly, and rudely growling again at him, with his mouth close, and his eyes open, and before angrily, terribly, and rudely growling again, with his mouth open, his eyes open, and his teeth close, and turns around, while angrily, terribly, and rudely stomping away out from the bathroom, and angrily, terribly, and rudely stomping away downstairs to the kitchen, holding Rosie, who was very upset, scared, and crying, breaking down with tears in her eyes]''
:'''Caillou''': ''[gets terrified again, after he badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, indignantly, stubbornly, regretfully, and angrily misjudged, confronted, and disobeyed Boris, and his order, and got in big trouble, and was punished, for one whole day, for the very first time, and got very pissed, hurtful, frustrated, out of rage, tabooed, upset, bad-tempered, angry, indignant, fierce, stubborn, enraged, terrible, sad, panicky, scared, and regretful, then gets up, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, indignantly, and regretfully grunting, sobbing, whining, and crying with tears in his eyes]'' But why can't I go to the circus today?!!!?!!! ''[angrily, badly, indignantly, fiercely, stubbornly, and terribly growling again with his mouth close, when angrily, badly, indignantly, fiercely, stubbornly, and terribly kicking aside his completely ruined, damaged, wrecked, broken, destroyed, and smashed nearby toy car away on the floor, and started indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully running away from the bathroom, indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully storming off from the bathroom, and indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully running after Boris, feeling very indignant, scared, fierce, enraged, tabooed, bad-tempered, panicky, sad, stubborn, regretful, terrible, angry, out of rage, pissed, hurtful, frustrated, and upset, over not coming to the circus today, until tomorrow, but about him wanting to go to the circus today, badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, angrily, stubbornly, and indignantly confronting, whining, sobbing, sniffing, grunting, and crying, about his punishment, for the very first time, that he got, for one whole day, breaking down with tears in his eyes, before coming downstairs to the kitchen to help his dad make breakfast, but still denies, and won't help him make breakfast]'' I want to go to the circus today!!!!!!</text>
      <sha1>c1iivczqvypst8gzjn3tn1d7k6jawxt</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944039</id>
      <parentid>3944038</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T21:15:08Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Caillou Joins the Circus (Eternally Suspended, Banned, and Censored Episode) [1.2c] */</comment>
      <origin>3944039</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="11889" sha1="thaekqi1zxfs3lqya4oc8583t6r6vxa" xml:space="preserve">===Caillou Makes Cookies [1.1a]===
:'''Doris''': Caillou, what are you making?
:'''Caillou''': ''[smiling softly]'' I'm making cookies.

===Caillou at Daycare [1.2b]===
:'''Leo''': ''[comes over to Caillou, but gets annoyed, and calls out to him]'' Hey! ''[snatches his one block from Caillou, causing the cup to spill over his shirt]'' These were my blocks!
:'''Caillou''': ''[fearfully looking at his shirt, gasps in terror, and gets terrified where a glass of apple juice was spilled over it out of the cup, which made himself loudly, badly, and sadly screaming, and crying, in tears in his eyes, for his mom]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''MMM-O-O-O-MMMMMMYYY!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[getting very upset in sadness]''
:'''Leo''': ''[rudely laughs to Caillou, and impolitely makes fun of him needing his mom]'' Your mommy was gone. ''[smirkly walks away]''

===Caillou Joins the Circus (Eternally Suspended, Banned, and Censored Episode) [1.2c]===
:'''Caillou''': ''[while happily brushing his teeth, and remarks]'' I didn't need to be late for the circus.
:'''Boris''': ''[confused]'' Hmm? The circus? ''[concerned, while trying to explain]'' Uh... nope. Caillou, this was not today. ''[bored, while proving to Caillou that he was very wrong]'' The circus wasn't until tomorrow.
:'''Caillou''': ''[suddenly stops happily brushing his teeth before he gasps in terror, after he was incorrect, and gets too much distressed, and became terrified]'' Oh, no!!!!!! ''[getting very upset, and badly sadly whining, with his declaration]'' But it is today!!!!!! And I am getting all dressed!!!!!! ''[badly, and sadly crying, whining and sobbing with tears breaking down in his eyes, now being harassed by the fact that this was happening, over his big mistake]'' And that's today!!!!!!
:'''Boris''': ''[grumpily neglecting Caillou's challenges]'' Aaaaaaaawwwwwwww! Come along, Caillou! ''[calmly tells Caillou to come downstairs to the kitchen]'' Just come downstairs and help me make breakfast. ''[walks out of the bathroom]''
:'''Caillou''': ''[now very promptly getting very pissed, out of rage, angry, tabooed, enraged, indignant, stubborn, and upset at Boris, and losing his temper, for pissing, enraging, and angering him, and denies, and won't come downstairs to the kitchen to help his dad make breakfast]'' No!!!!!! No, I can't do that!!!!!! ''[angrily, indignantly, and stubbornly sits down on the floor, and indignantly, stubbornly, and angrily growls with his mouth close, and his eyes open, then picks up his nearby toy car out of the toy bucket, and decides to play with it, to make himself feel a little better]'' Vroom, vroom, vroom! ''[mockingly vrooming, and playing his nearby toy car, with his very upset, pissed, stubborn, and angry face on, but until one of the wheels unintentionally got loose, and fell off on the floor, and then he gasps in terror, and became terrified again, and then picks up his nearby toy car, and then getting even more very pissed, hurtful, out of rage, sad, fierce, bad-tempered, enraged, stubborn, indignant, terrible, tabooed, disgusted, upset, angry, dangerous, rude, mean, and violent, and stubbornly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently outbursting into stubbornly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently screaming, crying, shouting, and calling his nearby toy car a very bad, stronger, profane, disgusting, indignant, mean, rude, and hurtful word, disregarding, and repeatedly using several times, for name calling, but ignoring that it could hurt feelings, with tears breaking down in his eyes, and his eyes close, very tightly, and violently, fiercely, badly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily shaking his nearby toy car]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''You stupid, ol' car!!!!!! You are stupid!!!!!!-Stupid!!!!!!-Stupid!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[violently, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily growling, with his eyes close, very tightly, and his mouth close, and badly, fiercely, stubbornly, angrily, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently throwing, and slamming his nearby toy car down on the floor away, when violently, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, angrily, stubbornly, terribly, and indignantly causing it to violently, fiercely, badly, completely, and terribly ruin, damage, wreck, break, destroy, and smash into thousands of pieces on purpose, and then indignantly, badly, loudly, sadly, fiercely, stubbornly, rudely, violently, and angrily screaming, shrieking, and crying, and bursting, and breaking down with tears coming out of his eyes, and violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly causing too much trouble, and while violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and badly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, stubbornly, violently, rudely, indignantly, and angrily feeling very cruel of what he had missed, and unfinished, while temperately heedles of how he had hurt feelings, and violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly causing too much trouble, and violently, fiercely, terribly, sadly, badly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily having his really bad, too inappropriate, hurtful, dangerous, and violent misbehavior, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, violently, and angrily hurting, pounding, and banging his arms, and  fists, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, angrily, and violently hurting, and kicking his legs, and feet against on the floor, over his completely ruined, damaged, wrecked, broken, destroyed, and smashed nearby toy car, and not coming to the circus today, and denies, and won't wait until tomorrow]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Storyteller''': ''[off-screen]'' Caillou was being a very bad boy now! But he was not coming to the circus today.
:'''Boris''': ''[angrily, terribly, and rudely stunned, when angrily, terribly, and rudely hears Caillou, and was now getting very enraged, angry, terrible, and rude at him, in the approach, because of him, badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, violently, stubbornly, angrily, rudely, and indignantly having his really bad, violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, rudely, violently, indignantly, stubbornly, and angrily outbursting having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, huge, gigantic, and temper tantrum, in inertia, and disgust, and terribly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, violently, rudely, indignantly, and angrily screaming, shouting, and crying a very bad, disgusting, rude, indignant, stronger, profane, hurtful, and mean word, disregarding, in violence, fierce, terror, indignant, anger, danger, disgust, and sadness, for name calling, and that he hurts feelings, and now coming back to the bathroom, and returning to the bathroom, and angrily, terribly, and rudely growling, and angrily, terribly, and rudley running over Caillou, while angrily, terribly, and rudely knocking him down, with his foot, by angrily, terribly, and rudely making him stop outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, and huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and having his really bad violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and causing too much trouble, and now arriving this time, while holding Rosie, who was very scared, upset, and crying, breaking down with tears in her eyes, when Caillou was waking her up, by outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, amd huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and having his really bad, violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and causing too much trouble, and  was loudly, angrily, terribly, and rudely thundering at Caillou, and angrily, terribly, and rudely blaming him for not coming downstairs to the kitchen, and looking like he was angrily, terribly, and rudely getting ready to angrily, terribly, and rudely punish him, for one whole day, for the very first time, for outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, huge temper tantrum, in inertia, over not coming to the circus today, and having his really bad, hurtful, too inappropriate, dangerous, and violent misbehavior, and screaming, crying, and shouting a very bad, stronger, profane, disgusting, indignant, mean, rude, and hurtful word, disregarding, and repeatedly using several times, for name calling, and that he hurts feelings, and causing too much trouble]'' Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!! Get along, Caillou!!!!!! Stop all that racket!!!!!! You are waking up Rosie!!!!!! ''[still significantly, roughly, seriously, and sternly commands Caillou that he will still immediately come downstairs to the kitchen to help him make breakfast quickly]'' I need you to come right down the stairs, now.
:'''Storyteller''': ''[off-screen]'' Even though, Caillou's dad has started to get really angry at him. ''[Boris angrily, terribly, and rudely strikes, and glares at Caillou, while angrily, terribly, and rudely growling again at him, with his mouth close, and his eyes open, and before angrily, terribly, and rudely growling again, with his mouth open, his eyes open, and his teeth close, and turns around, while angrily, terribly, and rudely stomping away out from the bathroom, and angrily, terribly, and rudely stomping away downstairs to the kitchen, holding Rosie, who was very upset, scared, and crying, breaking down with tears in her eyes]''
:'''Caillou''': ''[gets terrified again, after he badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, indignantly, stubbornly, regretfully, and angrily misjudged, confronted, and disobeyed Boris, and his order, and got in big trouble, and punished, for one whole day, for the very first time, and got very pissed, hurtful, frustrated, out of rage, tabooed, upset, bad-tempered, angry, indignant, fierce, stubborn, enraged, terrible, sad, panicky, scared, and regretful, then gets up, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, indignantly, and regretfully grunting, sobbing, whining, and crying with tears in his eyes]'' But why can't I go to the circus today?!!!?!!! ''[angrily, badly, indignantly, fiercely, stubbornly, and terribly growling again with his mouth close, when angrily, badly, indignantly, fiercely, stubbornly, and terribly kicking aside his completely ruined, damaged, wrecked, broken, destroyed, and smashed nearby toy car away on the floor, and started indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully running away from the bathroom, indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully storming off from the bathroom, and indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully running after Boris, feeling very indignant, scared, fierce, enraged, tabooed, bad-tempered, panicky, sad, stubborn, regretful, terrible, angry, out of rage, pissed, hurtful, frustrated, and upset, over not coming to the circus today, until tomorrow, but about him wanting to go to the circus today, badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, angrily, stubbornly, and indignantly confronting, whining, sobbing, sniffing, grunting, and crying, about his punishment, for the very first time, that he got, for one whole day, breaking down with tears in his eyes, before coming downstairs to the kitchen to help his dad make breakfast, but still denies, and won't help him make breakfast]'' I want to go to the circus today!!!!!!</text>
      <sha1>thaekqi1zxfs3lqya4oc8583t6r6vxa</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944040</id>
      <parentid>3944039</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T21:20:20Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Caillou Joins the Circus (Eternally Suspended, Banned, and Censored Episode) [1.2c] */</comment>
      <origin>3944040</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="11928" sha1="0e3du6c9dp5hdpprtqmzgvokfzcmhkw" xml:space="preserve">===Caillou Makes Cookies [1.1a]===
:'''Doris''': Caillou, what are you making?
:'''Caillou''': ''[smiling softly]'' I'm making cookies.

===Caillou at Daycare [1.2b]===
:'''Leo''': ''[comes over to Caillou, but gets annoyed, and calls out to him]'' Hey! ''[snatches his one block from Caillou, causing the cup to spill over his shirt]'' These were my blocks!
:'''Caillou''': ''[fearfully looking at his shirt, gasps in terror, and gets terrified where a glass of apple juice was spilled over it out of the cup, which made himself loudly, badly, and sadly screaming, and crying, in tears in his eyes, for his mom]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''MMM-O-O-O-MMMMMMYYY!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[getting very upset in sadness]''
:'''Leo''': ''[rudely laughs to Caillou, and impolitely makes fun of him needing his mom]'' Your mommy was gone. ''[smirkly walks away]''

===Caillou Joins the Circus (Eternally Suspended, Banned, and Censored Episode) [1.2c]===
:'''Caillou''': ''[while happily brushing his teeth, and remarks]'' I didn't need to be late for the circus.
:'''Boris''': ''[confused]'' Hmm? The circus? ''[concerned, while trying to explain]'' Uh... nope. Caillou, this was not today. ''[bored, while proving to Caillou that he was very wrong]'' The circus wasn't until tomorrow.
:'''Caillou''': ''[suddenly stops happily brushing his teeth before he gasps in terror, after he was incorrect, and gets too much distressed, and became terrified]'' Oh, no!!!!!! ''[getting very upset, and badly sadly whining, with his declaration]'' But it is today!!!!!! And I am getting all dressed!!!!!! ''[badly, and sadly crying, whining and sobbing with tears breaking down in his eyes, now being harassed by the fact that this was happening, over his big mistake]'' And that's today!!!!!!
:'''Boris''': ''[grumpily neglecting Caillou's challenges]'' Aaaaaaaawwwwwwww! Come along, Caillou! ''[calmly tells Caillou to come downstairs to the kitchen]'' Just come downstairs and help me make breakfast. ''[walks out of the bathroom]''
:'''Caillou''': ''[now very promptly getting very pissed, out of rage, angry, tabooed, enraged, indignant, stubborn, and upset at Boris, and losing his temper, for pissing, enraging, and angering him, and denies, and won't come downstairs to the kitchen to help his dad make breakfast]'' No!!!!!! No, I can't do that!!!!!! ''[angrily, indignantly, and stubbornly sits down on the floor, and indignantly, stubbornly, and angrily growls with his mouth close, and his eyes open, then picks up his nearby toy car out of the toy bucket, and decides to play with it, to make himself feel a little better]'' Vroom, vroom, vroom! ''[mockingly vrooming, and playing his nearby toy car, with his very upset, pissed, stubborn, and angry face on, but until one of the wheels unintentionally got loose, and fell off on the floor, and then he gasps in terror, and became terrified again, and then picks up his nearby toy car, and then getting even more very pissed, hurtful, out of rage, sad, fierce, bad-tempered, enraged, stubborn, indignant, terrible, tabooed, disgusted, upset, angry, dangerous, rude, mean, and violent, and stubbornly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently outbursting into stubbornly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently screaming, crying, shouting, and calling his nearby toy car a very bad, stronger, profane, disgusting, indignant, mean, rude, and hurtful word, disregarding, and repeatedly using several times, for name calling, but ignoring that it could hurt feelings, with tears breaking down in his eyes, and his eyes close, very tightly, and violently, fiercely, badly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily shaking his nearby toy car]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''You stupid, ol' car!!!!!! You are stupid!!!!!!-Stupid!!!!!!-Stupid!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[violently, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily growling, with his eyes close, very tightly, and his mouth close, and badly, fiercely, stubbornly, angrily, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently throwing, and slamming his nearby toy car down on the floor away, when violently, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, angrily, stubbornly, terribly, and indignantly causing it to violently, fiercely, badly, completely, and terribly ruin, damage, wreck, break, destroy, and smash into thousands of pieces on purpose, and then indignantly, badly, loudly, sadly, fiercely, stubbornly, rudely, violently, and angrily screaming, shrieking, and crying, and bursting, and breaking down with tears coming out of his eyes, and violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly causing too much trouble, and while violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and badly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, stubbornly, violently, rudely, indignantly, and angrily feeling very cruel of what he had missed, and unfinished, while temperately heedles of how he had hurt feelings, and violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly causing too much trouble, and violently, fiercely, terribly, sadly, badly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily having his really bad, too inappropriate, hurtful, dangerous, and violent misbehavior, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, violently, and angrily hurting, pounding, and banging his arms, and  fists, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, angrily, and violently hurting, and kicking his legs, and feet against on the floor, over his completely ruined, damaged, wrecked, broken, destroyed, and smashed nearby toy car, and not coming to the circus today, and denies, and won't wait until tomorrow]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Storyteller''': ''[off-screen]'' Caillou was being a very bad boy now! But he was not coming to the circus today.
:'''Boris''': ''[angrily, terribly, and rudely stunned, when angrily, terribly, and rudely hears Caillou, and was now getting very enraged, angry, terrible, and rude at him, in the approach, because of him, badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, violently, stubbornly, angrily, rudely, and indignantly having his really bad, violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, rudely, violently, indignantly, stubbornly, and angrily outbursting having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, huge, gigantic, and temper tantrum, in inertia, and disgust, and terribly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, violently, rudely, indignantly, and angrily screaming, shouting, and crying a very bad, disgusting, rude, indignant, stronger, profane, hurtful, and mean word, disregarding, in violence, fierce, terror, indignant, anger, danger, disgust, and sadness, for name calling, and that he hurts feelings, and now coming back to the bathroom, and returning to the bathroom, and angrily, terribly, and rudely growling, and angrily, terribly, and rudley running over Caillou, while angrily, terribly, and rudely knocking him down, with his foot, by angrily, terribly, and rudely making him stop outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, and huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and having his really bad violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and causing too much trouble, and now arriving this time, while holding Rosie, who was very scared, upset, and crying, breaking down with tears in her eyes, when Caillou was waking her up, by outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, amd huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and having his really bad, violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and causing too much trouble, and  was loudly, angrily, terribly, and rudely thundering at Caillou, and angrily, terribly, and rudely blaming him for not coming downstairs to the kitchen, and looking like he was angrily, terribly, and rudely getting ready to angrily, terribly, and rudely punish him, for one whole day, for the very first time, for outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, huge temper tantrum, in inertia, over not coming to the circus today, and having his really bad, hurtful, too inappropriate, dangerous, and violent misbehavior, and screaming, crying, and shouting a very bad, stronger, profane, disgusting, indignant, mean, rude, and hurtful word, disregarding, and repeatedly using several times, for name calling, and that he hurts feelings, and causing too much trouble]'' Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!! Get along, Caillou!!!!!! Stop all that racket!!!!!! You are waking up Rosie!!!!!! ''[still significantly, roughly, seriously, and sternly commands Caillou that he will still immediately come downstairs to the kitchen to help him make breakfast quickly]'' I need you to come right down the stairs, now.
:'''Storyteller''': ''[off-screen]'' Even though, Caillou's dad has started to get really angry at him. ''[Boris angrily, terribly, and rudely strikes, and glares at Caillou, while angrily, terribly, and rudely growling again at him, with his mouth close, and his eyes open, and before angrily, terribly, and rudely growling again, with his mouth open, his eyes open, and his teeth close, and turns around, while angrily, terribly, and rudely stomping away out from the bathroom, and angrily, terribly, and rudely stomping away downstairs to the kitchen, holding Rosie, who was very upset, scared, and crying, breaking down with tears in her eyes]''
:'''Caillou''': ''[gets very terrified, panicked, frightened, and fearful, after he badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, indignantly, stubbornly, regretfully, and angrily misjudged, confronted, and disobeyed Boris, and his order, and got in big deep trouble, and punished, for one whole day, for the very first time, and got very pissed, hurtful, frustrated, out of rage, tabooed, upset, bad-tempered, angry, indignant, fierce, stubborn, enraged, terrible, sad, panicky, scared, and regretful, then gets up, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, indignantly, and regretfully grunting, sobbing, whining, and crying with tears in his eyes]'' But why can't I go to the circus today?!!!?!!! ''[angrily, badly, indignantly, fiercely, stubbornly, and terribly growling again with his mouth close, when angrily, badly, indignantly, fiercely, stubbornly, and terribly kicking aside his completely ruined, damaged, wrecked, broken, destroyed, and smashed nearby toy car away on the floor, and started indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully running away from the bathroom, indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully storming off from the bathroom, and indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully running after Boris, feeling very indignant, scared, fierce, enraged, tabooed, bad-tempered, panicky, sad, stubborn, regretful, terrible, angry, out of rage, pissed, hurtful, frustrated, and upset, over not coming to the circus today, until tomorrow, but about him wanting to go to the circus today, badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, angrily, stubbornly, and indignantly confronting, whining, sobbing, sniffing, grunting, and crying, about his punishment, for the very first time, that he got, for one whole day, breaking down with tears in his eyes, before coming downstairs to the kitchen to help his dad make breakfast, but still denies, and won't help him make breakfast]'' I want to go to the circus today!!!!!!</text>
      <sha1>0e3du6c9dp5hdpprtqmzgvokfzcmhkw</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944102</id>
      <parentid>3944040</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T01:01:24Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944102</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="11941" sha1="h9x0lejom8ccqhcquccrui7qsrp0nd1" xml:space="preserve">==Season 1==
===Caillou Makes Cookies [1.1a]===
:'''Doris''': Caillou, what are you making?
:'''Caillou''': ''[smiling softly]'' I'm making cookies.

===Caillou at Daycare [1.2b]===
:'''Leo''': ''[comes over to Caillou, but gets annoyed, and calls out to him]'' Hey! ''[snatches his one block from Caillou, causing the cup to spill over his shirt]'' These were my blocks!
:'''Caillou''': ''[fearfully looking at his shirt, gasps in terror, and gets terrified where a glass of apple juice was spilled over it out of the cup, which made himself loudly, badly, and sadly screaming, and crying, in tears in his eyes, for his mom]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''MMM-O-O-O-MMMMMMYYY!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[getting very upset in sadness]''
:'''Leo''': ''[rudely laughs to Caillou, and impolitely makes fun of him needing his mom]'' Your mommy was gone. ''[smirkly walks away]''

===Caillou Joins the Circus (Eternally Suspended, Banned, and Censored Episode) [1.2c]===
:'''Caillou''': ''[while happily brushing his teeth, and remarks]'' I didn't need to be late for the circus.
:'''Boris''': ''[confused]'' Hmm? The circus? ''[concerned, while trying to explain]'' Uh... nope. Caillou, this was not today. ''[bored, while proving to Caillou that he was very wrong]'' The circus wasn't until tomorrow.
:'''Caillou''': ''[suddenly stops happily brushing his teeth before he gasps in terror, after he was incorrect, and gets too much distressed, and became terrified]'' Oh, no!!!!!! ''[getting very upset, and badly sadly whining, with his declaration]'' But it is today!!!!!! And I am getting all dressed!!!!!! ''[badly, and sadly crying, whining and sobbing with tears breaking down in his eyes, now being harassed by the fact that this was happening, over his big mistake]'' And that's today!!!!!!
:'''Boris''': ''[grumpily neglecting Caillou's challenges]'' Aaaaaaaawwwwwwww! Come along, Caillou! ''[calmly tells Caillou to come downstairs to the kitchen]'' Just come downstairs and help me make breakfast. ''[walks out of the bathroom]''
:'''Caillou''': ''[now very promptly getting very pissed, out of rage, angry, tabooed, enraged, indignant, stubborn, and upset at Boris, and losing his temper, for pissing, enraging, and angering him, and denies, and won't come downstairs to the kitchen to help his dad make breakfast]'' No!!!!!! No, I can't do that!!!!!! ''[angrily, indignantly, and stubbornly sits down on the floor, and indignantly, stubbornly, and angrily growls with his mouth close, and his eyes open, then picks up his nearby toy car out of the toy bucket, and decides to play with it, to make himself feel a little better]'' Vroom, vroom, vroom! ''[mockingly vrooming, and playing his nearby toy car, with his very upset, pissed, stubborn, and angry face on, but until one of the wheels unintentionally got loose, and fell off on the floor, and then he gasps in terror, and became terrified again, and then picks up his nearby toy car, and then getting even more very pissed, hurtful, out of rage, sad, fierce, bad-tempered, enraged, stubborn, indignant, terrible, tabooed, disgusted, upset, angry, dangerous, rude, mean, and violent, and stubbornly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently outbursting into stubbornly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently screaming, crying, shouting, and calling his nearby toy car a very bad, stronger, profane, disgusting, indignant, mean, rude, and hurtful word, disregarding, and repeatedly using several times, for name calling, but ignoring that it could hurt feelings, with tears breaking down in his eyes, and his eyes close, very tightly, and violently, fiercely, badly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily shaking his nearby toy car]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''You stupid, ol' car!!!!!! You are stupid!!!!!!-Stupid!!!!!!-Stupid!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[violently, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily growling, with his eyes close, very tightly, and his mouth close, and badly, fiercely, stubbornly, angrily, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently throwing, and slamming his nearby toy car down on the floor away, when violently, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, angrily, stubbornly, terribly, and indignantly causing it to violently, fiercely, badly, completely, and terribly ruin, damage, wreck, break, destroy, and smash into thousands of pieces on purpose, and then indignantly, badly, loudly, sadly, fiercely, stubbornly, rudely, violently, and angrily screaming, shrieking, and crying, and bursting, and breaking down with tears coming out of his eyes, and violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly causing too much trouble, and while violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and badly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, stubbornly, violently, rudely, indignantly, and angrily feeling very cruel of what he had missed, and unfinished, while temperately heedles of how he had hurt feelings, and violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly causing too much trouble, and violently, fiercely, terribly, sadly, badly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily having his really bad, too inappropriate, hurtful, dangerous, and violent misbehavior, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, violently, and angrily hurting, pounding, and banging his arms, and  fists, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, angrily, and violently hurting, and kicking his legs, and feet against on the floor, over his completely ruined, damaged, wrecked, broken, destroyed, and smashed nearby toy car, and not coming to the circus today, and denies, and won't wait until tomorrow]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Storyteller''': ''[off-screen]'' Caillou was being a very bad boy now! But he was not coming to the circus today.
:'''Boris''': ''[angrily, terribly, and rudely stunned, when angrily, terribly, and rudely hears Caillou, and was now getting very enraged, angry, terrible, and rude at him, in the approach, because of him, badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, violently, stubbornly, angrily, rudely, and indignantly having his really bad, violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, rudely, violently, indignantly, stubbornly, and angrily outbursting having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, huge, gigantic, and temper tantrum, in inertia, and disgust, and terribly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, violently, rudely, indignantly, and angrily screaming, shouting, and crying a very bad, disgusting, rude, indignant, stronger, profane, hurtful, and mean word, disregarding, in violence, fierce, terror, indignant, anger, danger, disgust, and sadness, for name calling, and that he hurts feelings, and now coming back to the bathroom, and returning to the bathroom, and angrily, terribly, and rudely growling, and angrily, terribly, and rudley running over Caillou, while angrily, terribly, and rudely knocking him down, with his foot, by angrily, terribly, and rudely making him stop outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, and huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and having his really bad violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and causing too much trouble, and now arriving this time, while holding Rosie, who was very scared, upset, and crying, breaking down with tears in her eyes, when Caillou was waking her up, by outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, amd huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and having his really bad, violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and causing too much trouble, and  was loudly, angrily, terribly, and rudely thundering at Caillou, and angrily, terribly, and rudely blaming him for not coming downstairs to the kitchen, and looking like he was angrily, terribly, and rudely getting ready to angrily, terribly, and rudely punish him, for one whole day, for the very first time, for outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, huge temper tantrum, in inertia, over not coming to the circus today, and having his really bad, hurtful, too inappropriate, dangerous, and violent misbehavior, and screaming, crying, and shouting a very bad, stronger, profane, disgusting, indignant, mean, rude, and hurtful word, disregarding, and repeatedly using several times, for name calling, and that he hurts feelings, and causing too much trouble]'' Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!! Get along, Caillou!!!!!! Stop all that racket!!!!!! You are waking up Rosie!!!!!! ''[still significantly, roughly, seriously, and sternly commands Caillou that he will still immediately come downstairs to the kitchen to help him make breakfast quickly]'' I need you to come right down the stairs, now.
:'''Storyteller''': ''[off-screen]'' Even though, Caillou's dad has started to get really angry at him. ''[Boris angrily, terribly, and rudely strikes, and glares at Caillou, while angrily, terribly, and rudely growling again at him, with his mouth close, and his eyes open, and before angrily, terribly, and rudely growling again, with his mouth open, his eyes open, and his teeth close, and turns around, while angrily, terribly, and rudely stomping away out from the bathroom, and angrily, terribly, and rudely stomping away downstairs to the kitchen, holding Rosie, who was very upset, scared, and crying, breaking down with tears in her eyes]''
:'''Caillou''': ''[gets very terrified, panicked, frightened, and fearful, after he badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, indignantly, stubbornly, regretfully, and angrily misjudged, confronted, and disobeyed Boris, and his order, and got in big deep trouble, and punished, for one whole day, for the very first time, and got very pissed, hurtful, frustrated, out of rage, tabooed, upset, bad-tempered, angry, indignant, fierce, stubborn, enraged, terrible, sad, panicky, scared, and regretful, then gets up, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, indignantly, and regretfully grunting, sobbing, whining, and crying with tears in his eyes]'' But why can't I go to the circus today?!!!?!!! ''[angrily, badly, indignantly, fiercely, stubbornly, and terribly growling again with his mouth close, when angrily, badly, indignantly, fiercely, stubbornly, and terribly kicking aside his completely ruined, damaged, wrecked, broken, destroyed, and smashed nearby toy car away on the floor, and started indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully running away from the bathroom, indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully storming off from the bathroom, and indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully running after Boris, feeling very indignant, scared, fierce, enraged, tabooed, bad-tempered, panicky, sad, stubborn, regretful, terrible, angry, out of rage, pissed, hurtful, frustrated, and upset, over not coming to the circus today, until tomorrow, but about him wanting to go to the circus today, badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, angrily, stubbornly, and indignantly confronting, whining, sobbing, sniffing, grunting, and crying, about his punishment, for the very first time, that he got, for one whole day, breaking down with tears in his eyes, before coming downstairs to the kitchen to help his dad make breakfast, but still denies, and won't help him make breakfast]'' I want to go to the circus today!!!!!!</text>
      <sha1>h9x0lejom8ccqhcquccrui7qsrp0nd1</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944103</id>
      <parentid>3944102</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T01:01:40Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-30333-90</username>
        <id>3326472</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Season 1 */</comment>
      <origin>3944103</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="11953" sha1="gq8jrbm4rf0mc3iab84oo2mkv5y51hh" xml:space="preserve">==Season 1 (1997-1998)==
===Caillou Makes Cookies [1.1a]===
:'''Doris''': Caillou, what are you making?
:'''Caillou''': ''[smiling softly]'' I'm making cookies.

===Caillou at Daycare [1.2b]===
:'''Leo''': ''[comes over to Caillou, but gets annoyed, and calls out to him]'' Hey! ''[snatches his one block from Caillou, causing the cup to spill over his shirt]'' These were my blocks!
:'''Caillou''': ''[fearfully looking at his shirt, gasps in terror, and gets terrified where a glass of apple juice was spilled over it out of the cup, which made himself loudly, badly, and sadly screaming, and crying, in tears in his eyes, for his mom]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''MMM-O-O-O-MMMMMMYYY!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[getting very upset in sadness]''
:'''Leo''': ''[rudely laughs to Caillou, and impolitely makes fun of him needing his mom]'' Your mommy was gone. ''[smirkly walks away]''

===Caillou Joins the Circus (Eternally Suspended, Banned, and Censored Episode) [1.2c]===
:'''Caillou''': ''[while happily brushing his teeth, and remarks]'' I didn't need to be late for the circus.
:'''Boris''': ''[confused]'' Hmm? The circus? ''[concerned, while trying to explain]'' Uh... nope. Caillou, this was not today. ''[bored, while proving to Caillou that he was very wrong]'' The circus wasn't until tomorrow.
:'''Caillou''': ''[suddenly stops happily brushing his teeth before he gasps in terror, after he was incorrect, and gets too much distressed, and became terrified]'' Oh, no!!!!!! ''[getting very upset, and badly sadly whining, with his declaration]'' But it is today!!!!!! And I am getting all dressed!!!!!! ''[badly, and sadly crying, whining and sobbing with tears breaking down in his eyes, now being harassed by the fact that this was happening, over his big mistake]'' And that's today!!!!!!
:'''Boris''': ''[grumpily neglecting Caillou's challenges]'' Aaaaaaaawwwwwwww! Come along, Caillou! ''[calmly tells Caillou to come downstairs to the kitchen]'' Just come downstairs and help me make breakfast. ''[walks out of the bathroom]''
:'''Caillou''': ''[now very promptly getting very pissed, out of rage, angry, tabooed, enraged, indignant, stubborn, and upset at Boris, and losing his temper, for pissing, enraging, and angering him, and denies, and won't come downstairs to the kitchen to help his dad make breakfast]'' No!!!!!! No, I can't do that!!!!!! ''[angrily, indignantly, and stubbornly sits down on the floor, and indignantly, stubbornly, and angrily growls with his mouth close, and his eyes open, then picks up his nearby toy car out of the toy bucket, and decides to play with it, to make himself feel a little better]'' Vroom, vroom, vroom! ''[mockingly vrooming, and playing his nearby toy car, with his very upset, pissed, stubborn, and angry face on, but until one of the wheels unintentionally got loose, and fell off on the floor, and then he gasps in terror, and became terrified again, and then picks up his nearby toy car, and then getting even more very pissed, hurtful, out of rage, sad, fierce, bad-tempered, enraged, stubborn, indignant, terrible, tabooed, disgusted, upset, angry, dangerous, rude, mean, and violent, and stubbornly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently outbursting into stubbornly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently screaming, crying, shouting, and calling his nearby toy car a very bad, stronger, profane, disgusting, indignant, mean, rude, and hurtful word, disregarding, and repeatedly using several times, for name calling, but ignoring that it could hurt feelings, with tears breaking down in his eyes, and his eyes close, very tightly, and violently, fiercely, badly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily shaking his nearby toy car]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''You stupid, ol' car!!!!!! You are stupid!!!!!!-Stupid!!!!!!-Stupid!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt; ''[violently, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily growling, with his eyes close, very tightly, and his mouth close, and badly, fiercely, stubbornly, angrily, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently throwing, and slamming his nearby toy car down on the floor away, when violently, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, angrily, stubbornly, terribly, and indignantly causing it to violently, fiercely, badly, completely, and terribly ruin, damage, wreck, break, destroy, and smash into thousands of pieces on purpose, and then indignantly, badly, loudly, sadly, fiercely, stubbornly, rudely, violently, and angrily screaming, shrieking, and crying, and bursting, and breaking down with tears coming out of his eyes, and violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly causing too much trouble, and while violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and badly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, stubbornly, violently, rudely, indignantly, and angrily feeling very cruel of what he had missed, and unfinished, while temperately heedles of how he had hurt feelings, and violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly causing too much trouble, and violently, fiercely, terribly, sadly, badly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily having his really bad, too inappropriate, hurtful, dangerous, and violent misbehavior, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, violently, and angrily hurting, pounding, and banging his arms, and  fists, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, angrily, and violently hurting, and kicking his legs, and feet against on the floor, over his completely ruined, damaged, wrecked, broken, destroyed, and smashed nearby toy car, and not coming to the circus today, and denies, and won't wait until tomorrow]'' &lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;&lt;big&gt;'''''WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!'''''&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/big&gt;
:'''Storyteller''': ''[off-screen]'' Caillou was being a very bad boy now! But he was not coming to the circus today.
:'''Boris''': ''[angrily, terribly, and rudely stunned, when angrily, terribly, and rudely hears Caillou, and was now getting very enraged, angry, terrible, and rude at him, in the approach, because of him, badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, violently, stubbornly, angrily, rudely, and indignantly having his really bad, violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, rudely, violently, indignantly, stubbornly, and angrily outbursting having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, huge, gigantic, and temper tantrum, in inertia, and disgust, and terribly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, violently, rudely, indignantly, and angrily screaming, shouting, and crying a very bad, disgusting, rude, indignant, stronger, profane, hurtful, and mean word, disregarding, in violence, fierce, terror, indignant, anger, danger, disgust, and sadness, for name calling, and that he hurts feelings, and now coming back to the bathroom, and returning to the bathroom, and angrily, terribly, and rudely growling, and angrily, terribly, and rudley running over Caillou, while angrily, terribly, and rudely knocking him down, with his foot, by angrily, terribly, and rudely making him stop outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, and huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and having his really bad violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and causing too much trouble, and now arriving this time, while holding Rosie, who was very scared, upset, and crying, breaking down with tears in her eyes, when Caillou was waking her up, by outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, amd huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and having his really bad, violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and causing too much trouble, and  was loudly, angrily, terribly, and rudely thundering at Caillou, and angrily, terribly, and rudely blaming him for not coming downstairs to the kitchen, and looking like he was angrily, terribly, and rudely getting ready to angrily, terribly, and rudely punish him, for one whole day, for the very first time, for outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, disgraceful, gigantic, huge temper tantrum, in inertia, over not coming to the circus today, and having his really bad, hurtful, too inappropriate, dangerous, and violent misbehavior, and screaming, crying, and shouting a very bad, stronger, profane, disgusting, indignant, mean, rude, and hurtful word, disregarding, and repeatedly using several times, for name calling, and that he hurts feelings, and causing too much trouble]'' Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!! Get along, Caillou!!!!!! Stop all that racket!!!!!! You are waking up Rosie!!!!!! ''[still significantly, roughly, seriously, and sternly commands Caillou that he will still immediately come downstairs to the kitchen to help him make breakfast quickly]'' I need you to come right down the stairs, now.
:'''Storyteller''': ''[off-screen]'' Even though, Caillou's dad has started to get really angry at him. ''[Boris angrily, terribly, and rudely strikes, and glares at Caillou, while angrily, terribly, and rudely growling again at him, with his mouth close, and his eyes open, and before angrily, terribly, and rudely growling again, with his mouth open, his eyes open, and his teeth close, and turns around, while angrily, terribly, and rudely stomping away out from the bathroom, and angrily, terribly, and rudely stomping away downstairs to the kitchen, holding Rosie, who was very upset, scared, and crying, breaking down with tears in her eyes]''
:'''Caillou''': ''[gets very terrified, panicked, frightened, and fearful, after he badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, indignantly, stubbornly, regretfully, and angrily misjudged, confronted, and disobeyed Boris, and his order, and got in big deep trouble, and punished, for one whole day, for the very first time, and got very pissed, hurtful, frustrated, out of rage, tabooed, upset, bad-tempered, angry, indignant, fierce, stubborn, enraged, terrible, sad, panicky, scared, and regretful, then gets up, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, indignantly, and regretfully grunting, sobbing, whining, and crying with tears in his eyes]'' But why can't I go to the circus today?!!!?!!! ''[angrily, badly, indignantly, fiercely, stubbornly, and terribly growling again with his mouth close, when angrily, badly, indignantly, fiercely, stubbornly, and terribly kicking aside his completely ruined, damaged, wrecked, broken, destroyed, and smashed nearby toy car away on the floor, and started indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully running away from the bathroom, indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully storming off from the bathroom, and indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully running after Boris, feeling very indignant, scared, fierce, enraged, tabooed, bad-tempered, panicky, sad, stubborn, regretful, terrible, angry, out of rage, pissed, hurtful, frustrated, and upset, over not coming to the circus today, until tomorrow, but about him wanting to go to the circus today, badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, angrily, stubbornly, and indignantly confronting, whining, sobbing, sniffing, grunting, and crying, about his punishment, for the very first time, that he got, for one whole day, breaking down with tears in his eyes, before coming downstairs to the kitchen to help his dad make breakfast, but still denies, and won't help him make breakfast]'' I want to go to the circus today!!!!!!</text>
      <sha1>gq8jrbm4rf0mc3iab84oo2mkv5y51hh</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>2026 Iran war</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>304631</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944130</id>
      <parentid>3942554</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T07:47:22Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Baratiiman</username>
        <id>842201</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944130</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="80718" sha1="5yugacl6f6nac4xt2jh0fp7hh9d3f58" xml:space="preserve">[
[[File:Strait of Hormuz.jpg|thumb|Blockade Plus : Sustain the blockade and accompanying economic warfare to destabilize the regime’s hold on the state; remake the world in America’s energy dominance image to mitigate long-term price impacts while undermining China’s global ambition to defeat the United States; and order the US military to forge a path through the Strait of Hormuz to restore freedom of navigation [https://nypost.com/2026/05/01/opinion/heres-how-to-crush-tehran-in-three-moves/ ]]]
[File:Pirate Flag of Jack Rackham.svg|thumb|We took over the ship; we took over the cargo, took over the oil. It’s a very profitable business . . . We’re like pirates. We’re sort of like pirates. - Trump[https://geopoliticaleconomy.com/2026/05/09/trump-pirates-iran-ships-china-us-sanctions/]]]

[[File:Flag of the United States Secretary of the Army.svg|thumb|God is good~Hegseth[https://www.cnn.com/2026/04/06/politics/hegseth-trump-iran-war-easter-christianity-analysis ]]][[File:TrinityDetonation1945GIF.gif|thumb|If there's no ceasefire, you're just going to have to look at one big glow coming out of Iran. President DJT[https://www.skynews.com.au/world-news/united-states/one-big-glow-coming-out-of-iran-trumps-wild-threat-as-he-hints-peace-deal-talks-might-collapse/video/8a668c00deaff3d27568bc78441e4a29 ]]]
[[File:Seal_of_the_Army_of_the_Guardians_of_the_Islamic_Revolution.svg|thumb|Having an atomic bomb is used to scare the enemy, and we should not use this bomb on the people in any way, unless it happens.[http://didbaniran.ir/fa/tiny/news-281553 Nataj]]][[File:Donald Trump OEF.jpg|thumb|Trump: &quot;I think the war is very complete, pretty much&quot; (Mar 9th)]]
On 28 February 2026, [[Israel]] and the [[United States]] launched a '''[[w:2026 Iran War|coordinated joint attack]]''' on multiple sites in [[Iran]], sparking a major conflict. The operation, codenamed '''Operation Roaring Lion''' and '''Operation Epic Fury''' by the [[w:United States Department of Defense|U.S. Department of Defense]], targeted senior Iranian officials, military command centers, and key strategic facilities, with the declared aim of [[w:regime change|regime change]]. The attack included the [[w:Assassination of Ali Khamenei|assassination]] of Iran’s second [[w:Supreme Leader of Iran|Supreme Leader]], [[Ali Khamenei]].

The strikes began in the cities of [[Tehran]], [[w:Isfahan|Isfahan]], [[w:Qom|Qom]], [[w:Karaj|Karaj]], and [[w:Kermanshah|Kermanshah]]. Several Iranian government figures were killed, including [[w:Ali Shamkhani|Ali Shamkhani]], the secretary of the [[w:Supreme National Security Council|Supreme National Security Council]]. Witnesses reported explosions across multiple regions. Israeli Defense Minister [[w:Israel Katz|Israel Katz]] confirmed that the [[w:Israel Defense Forces|Israel Defense Forces]] had conducted the strikes. [[w:Donald Trump|Donald Trump]], in a video posted on [[w:Truth Social|Truth Social]], announced that the United States had joined Israel in launching attacks against Iran.

In retaliation, Iranian forces launched dozens of [[w:Unmanned aerial vehicles in the Iranian military|drones]] and [[w:ballistic missiles|ballistic missiles]] across the [[w:Persian Gulf|Persian Gulf]], targeting Israel as well as U.S. military installations in [[Jordan]], [[Kuwait]], [[w:Bahrain|Bahrain]], [[Qatar]], [[Iraq]], [[Saudi Arabia]], and the [[United Arab Emirates]].
[[File:Khamenei last end year 5458884.jpg|thumb|The newly supreme appointed leader should deliver message of the peace to world and declare new era in Iran , a historic neccessity to free political prisoners and declare public general amnesty for those that haven't collaborated in killing Iranians and/or 2026 Iran massacres [https://www.khabarfoori.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-59/3198657-%D8%AC%D8%A8%D9%87%D9%87-%D8%A7%D8%B5%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%AD%D8%A7%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AA%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1%DB%8C-%D8%AC%D8%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AD%D8%A7%D9%88%DB%8C-%D9%BE%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%B5%D9%84%D8%AD-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AC%D9%87%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A2%D8%BA%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%AF%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%B2%D9%87-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B4%D8%AF-%D8%A7%D8%B9%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%B9%D9%81%D9%88-%D8%B9%D9%85%D9%88%D9%85%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D9%84%DB%8C%D9%87-%DA%A9%D8%B3%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D9%87-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%B4%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%A2%D9%84%D9%88%D8%AF%D9%87-%D9%86%D8%B4%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A2%D8%B2%D8%A7%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D9%87%D9%85%D9%87-%D8%B2%D9%86%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-%D9%81%D8%B9%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%D8%AF%D9%86%DB%8C-%DB%8C%DA%A9-%D8%B6%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%AA-%D9%85%D9%84%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AE%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA ]]][[File:Mojtaba Khamenei 2019.jpg|thumb|another Khamenei is coming.~[https://www.khabarfoori.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-59/3198781-%D8%AA%D8%A7%DB%8C%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%AA%D9%84%D9%88%DB%8C%D8%AD%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AA%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%A2%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%84%D9%87-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%AC%D8%AA%D8%A8%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%B9%D9%86%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D8%A8%D8%B9%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D9%88%D8%B3%D8%B7-%D8%B9%D8%B6%D9%88-%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1%DB%8C QomImam]]][[File:Flag of the Cooperation Council for the Arab States of the Gulf.svg|thumb|Trump is hysterical and struggling with last final breaths. Americans are at the end of their rope. Enemy is caught in desperate swamp...Netanyahu pumped up US to attack, we will exact vengeance...Trump you are a retarded person, ...we are funneling through pass of war,... Iranians have civilization, countries of region are acting like cuckold pimps... Trump says some people within of our military have defected give us 2 of these people names to us[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77421052/%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%BE-%D8%A2%D8%AF%D9%85-%D8%B9%D9%82%D8%A8-%D8%A7%D9%81%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%DA%AF%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF ~Larijani][https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77421726/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D9%86%D9%81%D8%B3-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D8%AE%D8%B1-%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%BE-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9-%D8%B4%D8%AF%D9%87-%D9%88 ][https://farsnews.ir/mohammadreza_dehghan/1772912586911483130/%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%A7-%DA%AF%D8%B1%D9%81%D8%AA%D9%86-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%B3%D8%B1-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D9%86%D9%85%DB%8C-%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%85 ]]][[File:State_flag_of_Iran_(1964%E2%80%931980).svg|thumb|Seventeen 17 cities of Caucasian Iran was separated from Iran by Tsar Russia. We are reborn from ashes of Mongol invasion and Timurid.[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77413081/%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%AF%DA%AF%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D9%88%D9%86-%D9%88-%D8%AE%D8%A7%DA%A9 ]]]

== Quotes ==
&lt;small&gt;Please add quotes in chronological order&lt;/small&gt;
===Feb 2026===
*Finally, to the great, proud people of Iran, I say tonight that the hour of your freedom is at hand… Stay sheltered. Don't leave your home. It's very dangerous outside. Bombs will be dropping everywhere . when we are finished, take over your  government. It will be yours to take. This will be probably your only chance for
**Trump [https://www.pbs.org/newshour/world/read-trumps-full-statement-on-iran-attack PRESIDENT TRUMP's message to the great people of Iran ..]
*firm of heart against the disbelievers, compassionate among themselves.
**Khamenei quoted Quran[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77473280/%D8%A3%D8%B4%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%A1-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D9%84%DA%A9%D9%81%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%B1%D8%AD%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%A1-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%D9%87%D9%85 ]
*There's a special place in hell reserved for pro-Trump Iranians.
**IRGC Mashre Dimitri Lascaris [https://www.shahrekhabar.com/news/177328434067132 ]
*400,000 armed people are ready to go to revolt against the United States government system
**Gen Araste[https://www.ettelaat.com/news/140255/%DB%B4%DB%B0%DB%B0-%D9%87%D8%B2%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D9%86%D9%81%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B3%D9%84%D8%AD-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%AF%D9%87-%D9%82%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C%D9%87-%D9%86%D8%B8%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86-%DA%A9%D8%B4%D9%88%D8%B1-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%86%D8%AF#ref=shahrekhabar ]
*Russia and China will win the war not just Iran
**IRGC Gen RahimSafavi[https://www.shahrekhabar.com/news/177326496039426 ]
*We have arm around Americans neck we will be slapping it when it moves
**IRGC Gen Mohsen rezai[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77471755/%D9%85%D8%AD%D8%B3%D9%86-%D8%B1%D8%B6%D8%A7%DB%8C%DB%8C-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%BE%D8%B4%D8%AA-%DA%AF%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%86-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AA%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%D8%AF-%D8%AA%DA%A9%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%AF-%DB%8C%DA%A9 ]
*If anyone comes to street they are seen as enemies and not as protestors.All our kids are putting their finger on triggers all alleys , streets , city squares belong to Police, special units and The IRGC Basij.
**FARAJA Cmdr Gen Ahmed Radan[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77462710/%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%DA%A9%D8%B3%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AF%D8%B4%D9%85%D9%86-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A7%D9%88-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%B9%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%B6 ]
* I can see that the peace deal is within our reach... if we... allow [[diplomacy]] the space it needs to get there... I don't think any alternative to diplomacy is going to solve this problem. ...The [[heart]] of this deal is very important and ...we have captured that heart. ...[I]f the ultimate objective is to ensure forever, that Iran cannot have a [[Nuclear weapons|nuclear bomb]] ...we have cracked that problem ...[W]e are talking about zero stockpiling ...[I]f you cannot stockpile material that is enriched ...there is no way you can ...create a bomb ...and ...equally important ...full and comprehensive verification by the [[w:International Atomic Energy Agency|IAEA]] ...The current stockpiles ...will be down-blended to the lowest level possible ...and converted into fuel that ...will be irreversible. ...I am ...confident ...that even the United States inspectors will have access at some point ...if we have a deal that is respected, and fair, and ...durable ...We have agreed, in general, to discuss economic and security cooperation between Iran and its neighbors, and set up a process of dialogue that will ...start the elements of building confidence, ...a rapport, a process that can ...lead ...to an understanding on all these ...areas of concern ...on the Iranian side, and ...on the [[w:Gulf Cooperation Council|GCC]] side. ...Broad terms, ...the politics, the ...main issues ...can be agreed [upon] tomorrow. The technicalities will take some time to work... out with... the IAEA. ...[T]hat can also be done ...relatively quickly, because a lot of this ...groundwork was done years ago, and it's ...in place. ...The substantial progress... is... far more than any time before. We just need that bit of extra time to close the deal.
** {{w|Badr bin Hamad Al Busaidi}}, &quot;Oman's foreign minister says U.S.-Iran nuclear 'deal is within our reach'&quot; (Feb 27, 2026) ''{{w|Face the Nation}}'' statements prior to the US-Israeli attacks. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pg5sXQDR8NY&amp;t=38s A Youtube video source.]

*Mahdi is with us and in charge of Umma, he has through Assembly of Experts introduced Ayatallah Mojtaba Khamenei
**[https://kayhan.ir/fa/news/328896/%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%B2%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%B9%D8%AC-%D9%88%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%81%D9%82%DB%8C%D9%87-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%D8%B9%D8%B1%D9%81%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF-%D9%86%DA%A9%D8%AA%D9%87 Hossein Shariatmadare]
*The revolution will not sit down until flag of Mahdi is raised on all corners of earth
**[https://kayhan.ir/fa/news/328901/%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%86%D9%87%E2%80%8C%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D8%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%AC%D8%AA%D8%A8%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA Hossein Shariatmadare]
*To save his soldiers Trump has gone to Volodymir Zelensky president-clown of Ukraine for aid
**[https://kayhan.ir/fa/news/328922/%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%86%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%AA-%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B2%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%B4-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86-%DB%8C%DA%A9-%D8%AF%D9%84%D9%82%DA%A9-%D8%B4%D8%AF Hossein Shariatmadare]
*War's balance changed and Islamic Republic of Iran has the upper hand, there won't be a negotiatons any country who helps America will be targeted as enemy
**[https://tasnimnews.ir/fa/news/1404/12/19/3537514/%D9%85%D9%88%D9%81%D9%82%DB%8C%D8%AA-90-%D8%AF%D8%B1%D8%B5%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%AD%D9%85%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%AA-%D9%85%D9%88%D8%B4%DA%A9%DB%8C-%D9%88-%D9%BE%D9%87%D9%BE%D8%A7%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%B2%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D9%86%D9%81%D8%B9-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA ICA]
*A vessel has passed through Hormuz strait , an United States (US) military navy escorted her. In Playstation
**ICA[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77461463/%D9%88%D8%A7%DA%A9%D9%86%D8%B4-%D8%B1%D8%A6%DB%8C%D8%B3-%D9%85%D8%AC%D9%84%D8%B3-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%A7%D8%AF%D8%B9%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%AF%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%BA%DB%8C%D9%86-%D9%88%D8%B2%DB%8C%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%B1%DA%98%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%AF%D8%B1%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B1%D9%87-%D8%AA%D9%86%DA%AF%D9%87 ]
*We have only just begun our missiles have left utter ruin and destruction ,Netanyahu won't let you see
**Abbas Iraqchi[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77462291/%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%82%DA%86%DB%8C-%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%B2%D9%87-%D8%B4%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%B9-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%85 ]
*Our enemy is the stupidest idiot. Our defense system is an ideology not just a defense system, while when we hit Haifa their people were begging for car gas
**FARAJA Cmdr Gen Achmed Radan [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77460868/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AF%D8%B4%D9%85%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A7%D8%AD%D9%85%D9%82-%D8%AA%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%86-%D9%87%D8%A7-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%86%D8%AF ]
*Your children shall read Quran while sitting by the missile launchers tonight.
**Gen Mousavi [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77461610/%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D9%85%D9%88%D8%B3%D9%88%DB%8C-%D9%81%D8%B1%D8%B2%D9%86%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B4%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%B4%D8%A8-%D9%BE%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%86%DA%86%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A7-%D9%82%D8%B1%D8%A2%D9%86-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%B3%D8%B1-%D9%85%DB%8C-%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AF ]

[[File:HIMARS Support Operation Epic Fury (9564974).jpg|thumb|Operation Epic Fury]]
===Mar 2026===
*All vessels shall not pass Hormuz Strait
**IRGCN Gen Ali Tangsiri[https://www.mehrnews.com/news/6771339/%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%AA%D9%86%DA%AF%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%B1%DB%8C-%D9%87%DB%8C%DA%86-%D8%B4%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%88%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AA%D8%A8%D8%B7-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%AA%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%88%D8%B2%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AD%D9%82-%D8%B9%D8%A8%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%AA%D9%86%DA%AF%D9%87-%D9%87%D8%B1%D9%85%D8%B2 ]
*How much of a cuckold is American president, Australian police has taken our girls out of the hotel and forced and made them to apply for asylum
**Mehdi Taj Chairman National Football Federation[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77458637/%D9%85%D9%87%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%AC-%D8%AF%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%88%D8%B2%DA%AF%DB%8C-%D8%B1%D8%A6%DB%8C%D8%B3-%D8%AC%D9%85%D9%87%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%AA%D8%A7-%DA%86%D9%87-%D8%AD%D8%AF-%D8%AF%D9%85-%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D8%AC%D9%84%D9%88%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%AC ]
*We are prepared to wage war against America for next at least another 10 year
**IRGC Gen Jabari[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77449662/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%B4%D8%A7%D9%88%D8%B1-%D9%81%D8%B1%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AF%D9%87-%DA%A9%D9%84-%D8%B3%D9%BE%D8%A7%D9%87-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%B9%D9%86%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A2%D8%AF%D9%85-%D9%85%D8%B7%D9%84%D8%B9-%D9%85%DB%8C-%DA%AF%D9%88%DB%8C%D9%85-%DA%A9%D9%87 ]
*Iran is the conscious of the humanity, its real dignity and glory. It is chosen people fighting for the Victory of the Light. It it Ormuzd, Ishraq. Mahdi people.
**Dugin Alexander[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77392273/%D8%AA%D9%88%DB%8C%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%84%DA%A9%D8%B3%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%AF%D9%88%DA%AF%DB%8C%D9%86-%D9%BE%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%AF%DA%AF%DB%8C-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86 ]
*The recent war is between good and evil
**ICA[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77432191/%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D8%A7%D8%AE%DB%8C%D8%B1-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D8%AD%D9%82-%D9%88-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B7%D9%84-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA ]
*Like thunder we will strike Haifa
**IRGC Gen Seid mousavi[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77449498/%D8%B3%D8%B1%D9%84%D8%B4%DA%A9%D8%B1-%D8%B9%D8%A8%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%84%D9%87%DB%8C-%D9%87%D9%85%DA%86%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%B5%D8%A7%D8%B9%D9%82%D9%87-%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D8%AD%DB%8C%D9%81%D8%A7-%D9%88-%D9%BE%D8%A7%DB%8C%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%87-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D9%85%D9%86%D8%B7%D9%82%D9%87 ]
* Iran’s leaders before the attack had been clear that they were willing to negotiate on the nuclear question. Talks were ongoing... There had appeared to be a good basis for agreement, given... an Iranian government that... was not in a position to enrich uranium... for the foreseeable future. ...Americans ...were deeply unhappy with the results of America’s last big wars of {{w|regime change}} ...[[War in Afghanistan (2001–2021)|in Afghanistan]] [[Iraq War|and Iraq]]. At the beginning of this joint [[w:2026 Iran war|US–Israel campaign against Iran]], only about a third of Americans supported the adventure...
** Dana Allin, &quot;US politics and the war against Iran&quot; (Mar 2, 2026) [https://www.iiss.org/online-analysis/online-analysis/2026/02/the-us-israel-campaign-in-iran/ &quot;The US-Israel campaign in Iran&quot;] @[[w:International Institute for Strategic Studies|IISS]].org

*This is a war that should end it once and for all.
::[https://www.mehrnews.com/news/6764020/%D9%86%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%B2%D8%A7%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AF%D9%86%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%84-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D9%85%D9%86%D8%B7%D9%82%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%AF ICA] (Mar 2 2026)

*Our Brave and Powerful Armed Forces will avenge each and every Iranian mother, , father, and child who has been targeted by hostile forces.
**foreign minister Abbas Iraqchi[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77405403/%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%82%DA%86%DB%8C-%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%B1%D9%88%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%85%D8%B3%D9%84%D8%AD-%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AA%DA%A9-%D8%AA%DA%A9-%D8%B4%D9%87%D8%AF%D8%A7-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%D9%86%D8%AF-%DA%AF%D8%B1%D9%81%D8%AA ]

*There is no shelter you can be safe 
**[https://www.shahrekhabar.com/news/177298212045678 IRGC text]

*We will fill Americans' coffins there is no end to war unless they fully surrender.
**IRGC operations mission statement[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77389339 ]

*Trump is more than 500 Americans killed dead America first or israel first. Inshallah Khamenei killing has heavy price
**Larijani[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77384703/%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%BE-%D8%AD%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%A8-%DA%A9%D9%86%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D9%87%D9%85-%D8%A7%D9%88%D9%84-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%DB%8C%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D9%88%D9%84-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%A6%DB%8C%D9%84 ]

* Irregardless of cost. Not unlike United States of America. Same as Iran has not in past 300 years started wars, Iran is ready for long war.
** [[w:Ali Larijani|Ali Larijani]], Secretary of the Supreme National Security Council of Iran. [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77359057 Source (in Persian)]

*Now that we have baited America do not make ceasefire and/or peace we must destroy them
::Ayatallah Panahian[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77388174/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%AD%D8%AC%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B3%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%85-%D9%BE%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%A7%D8%B6%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D8%AA%D8%B4-%D8%A8%D8%B3-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%86%D8%AF-%D9%86%D9%BE%D8%B0%DB%8C%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AF ]

*From us Iranian people only President son Aga Yusuf Pezeshkian and his buddies have internet connection.
::[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77388864/%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D9%85%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%85-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%81%D9%82%D8%B7-%D8%A2%D9%82%D8%A7-%DB%8C%D9%88%D8%B3%D9%81-%D9%88-%D8%B1%D9%81%DB%8C%D9%82%D8%A7%D8%B4-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86%D8%AA%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AA-%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AF Payamemam]

* These attacks from Israel and the United States... were unprovoked. There was no immanent threat. Many would interpret this war to be an illegal war.
** Evaleila Pesaran, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nJnVYpbKuM&amp;t=600s &quot;The war with Iran: An expert analysis&quot;] (Mar 2, 2026) Youtube video from [[University of Cambridge|Cambridge University]] channel.

* I see no indication that ...those institutions are weak or fraying or that you can destroy ...[them] from the air. ...[T]his administration is trying to justify the war the same way [[Jackson Pollock]] used to paint. You just throw a bucket of reasons up against the canvas and hope the result looks good. ...Iranian missiles ... [as] a threat to the United States... falls short of the truth by about 4,000 miles ...[I]f we're doing preventative wars now to prevent countries that might one day be a threat, is [[North Korea]]... [[China]]... [[Russia]] in line? I don't think so. ...I can't make head or tails out of the reason this administration has put forward for this war.
** [[w:Alan Eyre (diplomat)|Alan Eyre]], &quot;Expert panel breaks down U.S. objectives in Iran war&quot; (Mar 2, 2026) @''{{w|PBS News Hour}}''.

* Once again, America is going to war for Israel. Once again, many will die for the Zionist state, including American service members. Once again, we will stumble blindly into a military fiasco. Once again, we will do the bidding of a foreign power whose interests are not our interests, but whose lobbyists have bought up our political class, including Donald Trump. Once again, we will violate the U.N. charter by attacking a country that does not pose an imminent threat.
** [[Chris Hedges]], [https://scheerpost.com/2026/03/01/going-to-war-again-for-israel/ Going to War, Again, for Israel]. ScheerPost. (March 1, 2026)

* If the [[Precedents|precedent]] that is being set is, &quot;Any country with super
* [I]t is in many ways a final battle to decide what [[World War II]] was all about. Will [[international law]] crumble as a result of the unwillingness of enough countries to protect the rules of civilized [[law]] supporting the principles of [[Westphalian sovereignty|national sovereignty]], free from foreign interference and [[coercion]] from the 1648 {{w|Peace of Westphalia}} to the [[Charter of the United Nations|UN Charter]]?  And with regard to wars that inevitably are to be waged, will they spare {{w|civilian}}s and non-belligerents...
** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://www.counterpunch.org/2026/03/02/the-us-israeli-attack-was-to-prevent-peace-not-advance-it/ &quot;The US/Israeli Attack Was to Prevent Peace Not Advance It&quot;] (Mar 2, 2026) @''{{w|Counterpunch}}''

* Iran negotiators had agreed... not to have an [[Nuclear weapons|atom bomb]]... to reduce their refined uranium, to shift the refined uranium outside of the country, and to submit to an unprecedented degree of oversight... But none of this was about an atom bomb... The... reason that America has attacked Iran... was to control Near Eastern oil... and [[David Petraeus|General Petraeus]], years ago, had outlined this whole plan... &quot;...all of your profits and rents from the oil will be lent back to the United States, ...priced in dollars and invested in U.S. Treasury securities, U.S. bonds and U.S. stocks, so that the money, the vast dollar inflows from your oil exports, will all be part of the U.S. economy.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;I sat in on meetings in the {{w|White House}} in 1974 when this was discussed...
** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://www.democracynow.org/2026/3/3/michael_hudson_economist_trump_iran_attack A War for Oil:] Economist Michael Hudson on U.S. Quest to Control the World’s Oil Trade (Mar 3, 2026) @{{w|Democracy Now!}}

* [I]t is in many ways a final battle to decide what [[World War II]] was all about. Will [[international law]] crumble as a result of the unwillingness of enough countries to protect the rules of civilized [[law]] supporting the principles of [[Westphalian sovereignty|national sovereignty]], free from foreign interference and [[coercion]] from the 1648 {{w|Peace of Westphalia}} to the [[Charter of the United Nations|UN Charter]]?  And with regard to wars that inevitably are to be waged, will they spare {{w|civilian}}s and non-belligerents...
** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://www.counterpunch.org/2026/03/02/the-us-israeli-attack-was-to-prevent-peace-not-advance-it/ &quot;The US/Israeli Attack Was to Prevent Peace Not Advance It&quot;] (Mar 2, 2026) @''{{w|Counterpunch}}''

*The American philosophy is, number one, you bomb civilians, you break all the rules of international law which are against that. You bomb civilians to demoralize them. And if you concentrate, as Trump did, along with Israel, a few weeks ago, you {{w|2026 Minab school attack|bomb the schools}}, you bomb the hospitals. That’s American policy in foreign countries. It’s most visible in the case of Israeli policy, in Gaza, and now the West Bank as well. And it is the same policy that the United States has followed in Iran.
** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://geopoliticaleconomy.com/2026/03/29/war-iran-change-economy-michael-hudson/ &quot;The war on Iran is transforming the global economy: Economist Michael Hudson explains how&quot;] (Mar 29, 2026) @Geopolitical Economy Report

* Whenever a state chooses to go to [[war]]... you have to ask—where is the [[w:Intelligence assessment|intelligence]] on the threat? ...[T]he Trump administration ...in hurry mode ...chose to set [[diplomacy]] aside, despite the fact that the [mediating] [[w:Badr bin Hamad Al Busaidi#Diplomatic career|Omani foreign minister]] ...was convinced that remarkable progress had been made on the issue of [[Nuclear program of Iran|Iranian nuclear weapons]] ...[T]wo other arguments for the war: that the US faced an imminent threat from [[Iran]], and that Iran’s {{w|ballistic missile}} capability threatened the United States. Scratch this last claim—it’s simply not [[Truth|true]] ...Why would a much-weakened [[Islamic Republic of Iran|Islamic Republic]] pose an &quot;imminent threat&quot; ..? [[Marco Rubio]] has come forward with an absurd argument ...Does anyone truly believe that Israel would go it alone ...without US backing, that the operation was not jointly planned?  ...This is all desperate [[storytelling]], not intelligence.
** {{w|Wesley Wark}}, &quot;[https://thewalrus.ca/iran-foreign-policy-experts/ Eight Experts on What You’re Not Being Told about the War in Iran:] The questions that aren’t making it into the battlefield dispatches&quot; (Mar 3, 2026) @''{{w|The Walrus}}''

*  Ironically, the greatest beneficiaries of the United States’ grave [[wikt:violation#Noun|violation]]s of [[international law]] are the very actors whom, under normal circumstances, Washington would be seeking to restrain: [[Moscow]] will be emboldened to continue its barbaric [[w:Russo-Ukrainian war|assault on Ukraine]], while [[China]] will feel empowered to move on [[Taiwan]].
** [[w:Stephanie Turco Williams|Stephanie T. Williams]],  &quot;Flying blind&quot; (March 2, 2026) [https://www.brookings.edu/articles/after-the-strike-the-danger-of-war-in-iran/ &quot;After the strike: The danger of war in Iran&quot;] [[w:Brookings Institution|Brookings]].

* Iran negotiators had agreed... not to have an [[Nuclear weapons|atom bomb]]... to reduce their refined uranium, to shift the refined uranium outside of the country, and to submit to an unprecedented degree of oversight... But none of this was about an atom bomb... The... reason that America has attacked Iran... was to control Near Eastern oil... and [[David Petraeus|General Petraeus]], years ago, had outlined this whole plan... &quot;...all of your profits and rents from the oil will be lent back to the United States, ...priced in dollars and invested in U.S. Treasury securities, U.S. bonds and U.S. stocks, so that the money, the vast dollar inflows from your oil exports, will all be part of the U.S. economy.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;I sat in on meetings in the {{w|White House}} in 1974 when this was discussed...
** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://www.democracynow.org/2026/3/3/michael_hudson_economist_trump_iran_attack A War for Oil:] Economist Michael Hudson on U.S. Quest to Control the World’s Oil Trade (Mar 3, 2026) @{{w|Democracy Now!}}

*It's going to be... tempting for countries to think that in a world where there are no rules.., no [[w:Law of war|rules of war]], where that [[w:Liberal international order|post-war liberal order]], imperfect as it was, is now completely being disregarded.., that makes the world more dangerous for all of us. ...[T]here was an [[order]] of some kind ...a view that a degree of [[w:Consensus decision-making|international consensus]] was necessary ...before ...[[w:Interventionism (politics)|intervening in foreign countries]]. There were rules of war... [A]ll of us need to be... very thoughtful about supporting the creation of a world where anything goes, and [[might makes right]]. ...[[United States|America]] is still the preeminent [[power]], the {{w|superpower}}, the global [[Hegemony|hegemon]]. ...I hope this is a moment for Americans to reflect on the facts that the rules-based international order, which did act as a constraint on American power, also provided America with some meaningful [[protection]].
** [[Chrystia Freeland]], Chrystia Freeland on Iran, Ukraine, and Global Power Shifts | ''{{w|Amanpour and Company}}'' (Mar 3, 2026) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vlj_beVDuxg&amp;t=196s 3:16.]

* [I]f it's... possible that there are about to be acts of [[terrorism]] by [[Iran]] inside the United States, how can [[United States Congress|Congress]] continue to blockade funds for the [[w:United States Department of Homeland Security|Department of Homeland Security]] until it gets [[reform]]s... including an end to the [[lying]]..? You're going to see a real press by the [[Second presidency of Donald Trump|Trump administration]] to say, &quot;Release the funds and let the Department... resume... operations.., including falsely calling people terrorists if they operate a camera near an immigration agent.&quot; You're going to see attacks on the [[freedom of the press]]. This administration... regards it as illegal, criminal, for reporters simply to ask questions of [[The Pentagon|Pentagon employees]]... Only the designated leaders... get to speak... and if they're... saying things that look like they might not be [[Truth|true]], you can't second guess or question them. We have had many instances... of false indications of [[w:Powers of the president of the United States#Emergency powers|emergency powers]]. The whole [[w:Tariffs in the second Trump administration|tariff nonsense]]... rested on [[Falsehood|false claims]] of the president... about economic emergency. ...[N]ow there's a real [[war]].., a real risk of terrorist activity... That's a much more plausible emergency.., and... what [[Courts|court]] will say, &quot;We don't think you're telling the truth about this either&quot;? ...So there will be new assertions of emergency power... [P]eople who have the president's ear have been urging him to use emergency powers against the [[w:2026 United States elections|elections of 2026]]. The possibility of that... are much higher today... than... a week ago. ...We're moving into extraordinary danger to democratic institutions. The [[w:2026 Iran war|war in Iran]]... is an urgent [[w:Domestic policy of the second Trump administration|domestic policy]] question... a massive grant of power to a president and administration that have proven... that they will [[Abuse of power|abuse any powers]] that they are en[[trust]]ed with.
** [[David Frum]], &quot;[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8w7KOoD8sCs&amp;t=190s No Exit from Trump's War:] with Tom Nichols&quot; The David Frum Show. A Youtube video from ''{{w|The Atlantic}}'' channel. (Mar 4 2026)

*&quot;Senate votes down resolution to stop Trump from continuing war with Iran&quot; (Mar 4, 2026)
**&lt;small&gt;''{{w|The Independent}}''. [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/senate-iran-war-vote-trump-powers-resolution-b2932221.html Source.]&lt;/small&gt;
*Nobody gets to hide and give the president an easy pass or an end-run around the Constitution. Everybody's got to declare whether they're for this war or against it.
** Sen. [[Tim Kaine]]
*War is ugly, it always has been ugly, but we're taking out a regime that has been trying to attack us for quite some time.
** Sen. [[Markwayne Mullin]]
*I learned when I was fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan, that when elites in Washington bang the war drums, pound their chest, talk about the costs of war and act tough, they're not talking about them doing it, they're not talking about their kids. They're talking about working class kids like us.
** Rep. [[Jason Crow]]

* Why are we going into Iran? ...[I]t is the president's [[wikt:vainglory#Noun|vainglory]]. He thinks he's on a roll, that... this is easy to do; that you can [[w:2026 United States intervention in Venezuela|knock off dictatorships like Venezuela]], and then have a parade; that this solves a lot of his problems. It gets people not talking about the [[Epstein files]]. ...[A] huge chunk of [[Donald Trump]]'s [[Foreign policy of the United States|foreign policy]] is rooted in trying to get people to stop talking about the Epstein files. ...[H]e is that [[wikt:narrow-minded#Adjective|narrow]] and [[wikt:crass#Adjective|crass]]. ...Now he's going to say he's a [[w:Powers of the president of the United States#Emergency powers|war president]]. That means you can't criticize me... I can stomp on the press... I can declare a [[w:Powers of the president of the United States#Emergency powers|national emergency]]. ...As the [[Parliament of the United Kingdom|British Parliament]] said... in [~]1944... &quot;This is not a propitious time for an [[Elections|election]].&quot; ...[[wikt:mischief#Noun|[M]ischief]] comes with a war because... presidential war powers... become almost unchallengeable.
** [[w:Tom Nichols (academic)|Tom Nichols]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8w7KOoD8sCs&amp;t=797s Trump’s War With Iran and a New Danger at Home] | The [[David Frum]] Show (Mar 4, 2026) A Youtube video from ''{{w|The Atlantic}}'' channel.

*[[Donald Trump|The president]] was not going to be just another president on a very long list who sat back and stood by and passed the buck of this direct threat to the next administration. The president had a feeling, again, based on fact, that Iran was going to strike the United States, was going to strike our assets in the region, and he made a determination to launch Operation Epic Fury based on all of those reasons.
**[[Karoline Leavitt]] quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-iran-war-white-house-briefing-b2931933.html &quot;Karoline Leavitt insists Trump had a ‘feeling based on fact’ before Iran strikes but still won’t detail imminent threat to US&quot;]], ''The Independent'' (05 March 2026)

*[T]o take on the extraordinary risks... without having made the case with the American people.., citing immanent threats that aparently don't exist... that's problematic, and the chances of unintended consequences... are... very serious...  [W]e're... using.., in many cases very expensive weapons to take down $20,000 drones. That's not a good equation... over time. ...I'm worried about ...second and third order consequences ...we so deplete our arsenal, and it takes a long time to rebuild ...puts us in a disadvantageous position when it comes to ...a [[China]] or ...[[Russia]]. ...[M]uch as ...everyone should want to see a change... it may simply ...reinforce the [[Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps|IRGC]] ...[I]t's very hard to produce regime change from outside. You can't bomb your way to it. ...The [[wikt:red flag#Noun|red flag]] ...is that this could be [[Syrian civil war|Syria]] [[wikt:redux#Noun|redux]] or  ...[[Libyan Crisis (2011–present)|Libya]] redux ...the country fracturing, imploding or even exploding with [[refugee]]s and [[w:International migration|migration]].., [[Extremism|extremist]] groups taking hold... It's incredibly ...[[dangerous]]. ...[I]t's never too late for [[diplomacy]]. ...&lt;br /&gt;[W]hen [[Russia]] is ...reaching a weak point because of its dependence on oil to fuel its war economy ...they get a lifeline, ...the price of oil is going up. The [[Europe|Europeans]], in having moved away from Russian gas, are now more dependent on the [[Middle East]]. ...If the {{w|Strait of Hormuz}} gets tied up ...that's ...a lot of pressure ...So mapping out, gaming out, planning out and ...making sure you have something in place to deal with ...second and third order effects is ...important, and it's not ...clear ...that was done ...There's been a shifting rationale ...[or] explanation for why this, why now? ...That's why it's so important to have ...laid this out before the American people, and our partners and allies. We might have had less friction with them if there was a compelling case ...and had them on the take-off, not mid-flight or on the landing.
** [[Antony Blinken]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHgG-lkOi6w&amp;t=74s &quot;Former Secretary of State on the Two Keys to Ending Iran War&quot;] (Mar 4, 2026) A Youtube video from the [[w:Bloomberg News|Bloomberg]] Podcasts channel.

*Majority of Experts Assembly has come to pick next leader who is Seid.
**Dirbaz[https://www.etemadonline.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-9/764537-%D9%85%D8%AC%D9%84%D8%B3-%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1%DB%8C ] (Mar 8 2026)

* Unprovoked attacks by the [[United States|US]] and [[Israel]]... violate the fundamental prohibition on the use of [[force]], [[Sovereignty|sovereign]] [[equality]], {{w|territorial integrity}}, and the [[duty]] to [[Peace|peacefully]] settle disputes... They also violate the {{w|right to life}}... We cannot pick and choose when [[international law]] applies. Unlawful [[military]] [[w:Interventionism (politics)|intervention]] is not a solution... These attacks do not strike military abstractions – they strike people... {{w|Civilian}}s are bearing the brunt of this war... In a country that has already lost thousands to [[Violence|violent]] [[Political repression|repression]]... these attacks deepen... profound human [[tragedy]]... The targeting of civilians, educational facilities, and medical institutions constitutes a grave violation of [[international humanitarian law]] and [[w:International human rights law|human rights law]]... Any path forward must be grounded in the [[rule of law]], the will of the [[Iranians|Iranian people]], and full accountability for the [[wikt:violation#Noun|violation]] of international law, by all parties... 
** {{w|Mai Sato}}, [[w:Cecilia Bailliet|Cecilia M. Bailliet]], {{w|Astrid Puentes Riaño}}, {{w|Alexandra Xanthaki}}, {{w|Farida Shaheed}}, Surya Deva, {{w|Margaret Satterthwaite}}, {{w|Gina Romero}}, Nicolas Levrat, [[w:Richard Bennett (UN)|Richard Bennett]], Tomoya Obokata, [[w:Mary Lawlor (human rights advocate)|Mary Lawlor]], {{w|Ben Saul}}, {{w|Alice Jill Edwards}}, [[Francesca Albanese]], Morris Tidball-Binz, {{w|Siobhán Mullally}}, Gabriella Citroni, Grażyna Baranowska, Aua Baldé, Ana Lorena Delgadillo Pérez, {{w|Bina D'Costa}}, {{w|Claudia Flores}}, Ivana Krstić, {{w|Dorothy Estrada-Tanck}}, Haina Lu, [[Reem Alsalem]], {{w|Paula Gaviria Betancur}}, Elizabeth Salmón, Mariana Katzarova (Special Procedures of the Human Rights Council, volunteer Special Rapporteurs/Independent Experts/Working Groups) [https://www.ohchr.org/en/press-releases/2026/03/iran-un-experts-call-de-escalation-and-accountability &quot;Iran: UN experts call for de-escalation and accountability&quot;] (Mar 4, 2026) [[w:Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights|OHCHR]].

* [[Mohammed bin Salman|The Crown Prince]] and other [[w:Arab states of the Persian Gulf|Gulf]] leaders have been urging America not to undertake military action against Iran, because all of us believe... action will not remain confined to Iran; that Iran will retaliate against American in the area, which is present in all of the Gulf states, and as far away as [[Turkey]]... They've been warning the Americans not to undertake military action and suffer the consequences. ...I don't think the system in Iran will collapse any time soon. ...Iranian leadership has been preparing for an eventuality like this, because of what they have continued to hear from [[Benjamin Netanyahu|Mr. Netanyahu]] in the past 40 years. He has been calling for the destruction of Iran, and so the Iranians... have been preparing themselves for such an eventuality. ...The only way the system will go... is through the Iranian people.
** {{w|Turki bin Faisal Al Saud}}, &quot;Fmr. Saudi Intelligence Chief Discusses Gulf States' Reaction to Iran Attacks | ''{{w|Amanpour and Company}}''&quot; [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfGcX4XuZ5A&amp;t=62s 1:02,] 5:08.

* Iran just stated that they are going to hit very hard today, harder than they have ever been hit before.., THEY BETTER NOT DO THAT, HOWEVER, BECAUSE IF THEY DO, WE WILL HIT THEM WITH A FORCE THAT HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE! 
** [[Donald J. Trump]], post on Truth Social, &quot;Trump warns Iran of unprecedented force if it retaliates&quot; (Feb 28, 2026) {{w|Reuters}}.

*I think the war is very complete, pretty much. [Iran has] no navy, no communications, they've got no air force. Their missiles are down to a scatter. Their drones are being blown up all over the place, including their manufacturing of drones.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-iran-cbs-news-the-war-is-very-complete-strait-hormuz/ &quot;Trump says 'the war is very complete,' and he's considering taking over Strait of Hormuz&quot;], ''CBS News'' (Mar 9 2026)

*US officials are posting fake news to manipulate narkets. It won't protect them from inflationary tsunami they've imposed on Americans Markets are facing biggest shortfall in HISTORY bigger than Arab Oil Embargo, Kuwait 
**[https://www.etemadonline.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%85%D9%84%D9%84-17/764878-%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%82%DA%86%DB%8C-%D9%88%D8%B2%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%AC%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7 Mr Iraqchi] (Mar 10 2026)

*If Iran does anything that stops the flow of Oil within the Strait of Hormuz, they will be hit by the United States of America TWENTY TIMES HARDER than they have been hit thus far. Additionally, we will take out easily destroyable targets that will make it virtually impossible for Iran to ever be built back, as a Nation, again - Death, Fire, and Fury will reign upon them - But I hope, and pray, that it does not happen! This is a gift from the United States of America to China, and all of those Nations that heavily use the Hormuz Strait. Hopefully, it is a gesture that will be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your attention to this matter! President DONALD J. TRUMP
**[https://x.com/WhiteHouse/status/2031167037620236703 Trump on TruthSocial] (10 March 2026)

*Most definitely we are not seeking ceasefire we will break zionist life cycle of war-negotiations-ceasefire and then war again forever
**Moahamedbagher Ghabilaf[https://www.etemadonline.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-9/764797-%D8%A2%D8%AA%D8%B4-%D8%A8%D8%B3-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86- %D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%A6%DB%8C%D9%84 ] (Mar 10 2026)

*Take Bahrain back! Annex it
**MP Aytallah Resaei Hamid[https://www.khabarfoori.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-59/3200147-%DB%8C%DA%A9-%D9%86%D9%85%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86%D8%AF%D9%87-%D9%85%D8%AC%D9%84%D8%B3-%D8%A8%D8%AD%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D9%BE%D8%B3-%D8%A8%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%85 ], 12 March 2026

*I have seen his body after martyred, I heard he clenched his fist.You people have led the country. The will of the masses is to continue the effective and regrettable defense. Certainly, the leverage of blocking the Strait of Hormuz should still be used. Neighboring countries must make their position clear to the aggressors against our country... In any case, we will demand compensation from the enemy; if they refuse, we will seize as much of their property as we determine; if that is not possible, we will destroy as much of their property as we can.
**Mojtaba Khamenei (12 March 2026)[https://www.irna.ir/news/86100475/%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B9%D8%B8%D9%85-%D8%A7%D9%86%D9%82%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%AA%D8%A7%DA%A9%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D9%86%D9%82%D8%B4-%D9%88-%D8%AD%D8%B6%D9%88%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%85-%D8%AD%D8%B6%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%B5%D8%AD%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF ][https://www.khabarfoori.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-59/3200277-%D8%B4%D9%85%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%85-%DA%A9%D8%B4%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AE%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%B4%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B4%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%B5%D8%B1%D9%81-%D9%86%D8%B8%D8%B1-%D9%86%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%85-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF-%D9%87%D9%85%DA%86%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AA%D9%86%DA%AF%D9%87-%D9%87%D8%B1%D9%85%D8%B2-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%87-%D8%A8%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%B9%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AF%D9%88%D8%B3%D8%AA%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D9%87%D9%85%D8%B3%D8%A7%DB%8C%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%DB%8C%D9%85 ]

*Aggression against soil of Iranian islands will shatter all restraint. We will abandon all restraint and make the Persian Gulf run with the blood of invaders.
**[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77477478/%D9%82%D8%A7%D9%84%DB%8C%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%81-%D9%87%D8%B1%DA%AF%D9%88%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%AA%D8%B9%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%D8%A7%DA%A9-%D8%AC%D8%B2%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D9%88%DB%8C%D8%B4%D9%86%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%AA%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D9%85%DB%8C], ''Qalibaf'' (12 March 2026)

*The [[United States]] is the largest Oil Producer in the World, by far, so when oil prices go up, we make a lot of money. BUT, of far greater interest and importance to me, as President, is stoping an evil Empire, Iran, from having Nuclear Weapons, and destroying the [[Middle East]] and, indeed, the World. I won’t ever let that happen!
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/iran-us-war-live-updates-supreme-leader-trump-oil-b2937272.html &quot;Iran-US war latest: Supreme leader statement threatens fresh attacks after UK base in Iraq hit by drone swarm&quot;], ''The Independent'' (12 March 2026)

*As long as America and Zionist exist humankind will not see quiet. To establish peace they must be destroyed
**Aytallah Khatami Imam Tehran [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77485962/%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%AA%D9%85%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%B5%D9%84%D8%AD-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B1%DA%98%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%B5%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%88%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%AF ][https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77487036/%D8%AA%D8%A7-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D9%88-%D8%B1%DA%98%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%B5%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%88%D9%86%DB%8C-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%86%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%B4%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D8%B1%D9%88%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%B4-%D9%86%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%D8%AF-%D8%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF] (13 March 2026)
*Just run!
**IRGC hebrew text [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77499999/%D8%AE%D8%B7%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%B3%D8%A7%DA%A9%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%B2%D9%85%DB%8C%D9%86-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B4%D8%BA%D8%A7%D9%84%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D9%84%D8%A7-%D9%81%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%B1-%DA%A9%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF ] (14 March 2026)
*If Americans do heliborne operation on taking over Khark Island we will attack their bases and take prisoners
**FM Manouchehr Motaki Iran negotiators [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77500152/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%AA%DA%A9%DB%8C-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7%DB%8C%DB%8C-%D9%87%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%D9%86%D8%AF-%D8%AC%D8%B2%DB%8C%D8%B1%D9%87-%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%B1%DA%A9-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B4%D8%BA%D8%A7%D9%84-%DA%A9%D9%86%D9%86%D8%AF ] (14 March 2026)
*If the [[2026 FIFA World Cup|World Cup]] games are in [[Mexico]] maybe we will go
**Minister of youth &amp; sport [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77499588/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%88%D8%B2%DB%8C%D8%B1-%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%B2%D8%B4-%D9%81%DB%8C%D9%81%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%DB%8C%D8%B2%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%87%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7], (14 March 2026)
*Countries in region are supposed to pay reparations for killing Khamenei. 
**VP Mohammed Mokhber [https://www.mehrnews.com/news/6774791/%D9%85%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1-%DA%A9%D8%B4%D9%88%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%85%D9%86%D8%B7%D9%82%D9%87-%D9%85%DA%A9%D9%84%D9%81-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AC%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AE%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%AA-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%86%D8%AF] (14 March 2026)
*When I feel it. When I feel it in my bones.
**[[President Trump]] quoted when asked when the war will end: [https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/trump-says-iran-war-will-end-when-i-feel-it-in-my-bones_uk_69b57775e4b09d87d0277fa2 &quot;Trump Says Iran War Will End 'When I Feel It In My Bones'&quot;], ''Huffington Post'' (14 March 2026)
*It's a little unfair. You win a war, but they have no right to be doing what they're doing.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c70k29914q4o &quot;Surge in US petrol prices deepens political peril for Trump over Iran&quot;], ''BBC News'' (17 March 2026)
*Because of the fact that we have had such Military Success, we no longer “need,” or desire, the NATO Countries’ assistance — WE NEVER DID! Likewise, Japan, Australia, or South Korea. In fact, speaking as President of the United States of America, by far the Most Powerful Country Anywhere in the World, WE DO NOT NEED THE HELP OF ANYONE! 
**[https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116245182325726375 Donald Trump on Truth Social] (17 Mar 2026)

*[[Israel]], out of anger for what has taken place in the Middle East, has violently lashed out at a major facility known as South Pars Gas Field in Iran. A relatively small section of the whole has been hit. The United States knew nothing about this particular attack, and the country of [[Qatar]] was in no way, shape, or form, involved with it, nor did it have any idea that it was going to happen. Unfortunately, Iran did not know this, or any of the pertinent facts pertaining to the South Pars attack, and unjustifiably and unfairly attacked a portion of Qatar’s LNG Gas facility. NO MORE ATTACKS WILL BE MADE BY ISRAEL pertaining to this extremely important and valuable South Pars Field unless Iran unwisely decides to attack a very innocent, in this case, Qatar - In which instance the United States of America, with or without the help or consent of Israel, will massively blow up the entirety of the South Pars Gas Field at an amount of strength and power that Iran has never seen or witnessed before. I do not want to authorize this level of violence and destruction because of the long term implications that it will have on the future of Iran, but if Qatar’s LNG is again attacked, I will not hesitate to do so. 
**[[Donald Trump]] on [https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116253388303392718 Truth Social] (Mar 19, 2026)

* Iranian missiles do not differentiate between Muslim and Christian and Jew and whichever religion, they're out there to kill anybody because they feel everybody who doesn't accept their belief is an infidel.
**Israeli President [[Isaac Herzog]] following the 2026 Beit Awwa salon strike in the West Bank. (Mar 19, 2026)[https://www.jpost.com/middle-east/iran-news/article-890479]

*We are getting very close to meeting our objectives as we consider winding down our great Military efforts in the Middle East with respect to the Terrorist Regime of [[Iran]]: (1) Completely degrading Iranian Missile Capability, Launchers, and everything else pertaining to them. (2) Destroying Iran’s Defense Industrial Base. (3) Eliminating their Navy and Air Force, including Anti Aircraft Weaponry. (4) Never allowing Iran to get even close to Nuclear Capability, and always being in a position where the U.S.A. can quickly and powerfully react to such a situation, should it take place. (5) Protecting, at the highest level, our Middle Eastern Allies, including [[Israel]], [[Saudi Arabia]], [[Qatar]], the [[United Arab Emirates]], [[w:Bahrain|Bahrain]], [[Kuwait]], and others. The [[w:Hormuz Strait|Hormuz Strait]] will have to be guarded and policed, as necessary, by other Nations who use it — The United States does not! 
**[[Donald Trump]] on [https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116263563453969628 Truth Social] (Mar 20, 2026)

[[File:Strait of Hormuz.jpg|thumb|Strait of Hormuz]]
*If Iran doesn’t FULLY OPEN, WITHOUT THREAT, the [[w:Strait of Hormuz|Strait of Hormuz]], within 48 HOURS from this exact point in time, the United States of America will hit and obliterate their various POWER PLANTS, STARTING WITH THE BIGGEST ONE FIRST!
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/clyxv87zwwpo &quot;Trump at a crossroads as US weighs tough options in Iran&quot;], ''BBC News'' (21 March 2026)

*In difficult times like these, when events seem both confused and confusing, [[Mark Twain]]’s “broken fragments of antique legends” can remind us of historical analogies like the collapse of the power and influence of [[Great Britain]] or of the [[Soviet Union]] that can help us understand how the past often whispers to the present — as it indeed seems to be doing these days in the [[Strait of Hormuz]].
** [[Alfred W. McCoy]], [https://inkstickmedia.com/how-the-iran-war-gave-trump-his-very-own-suez-crisis/ &quot;How the Iran War Gave Trump His Very Own Suez Crisis&quot;] (21 March 2026)

*No countries that are [[North Atlantic Treaty Organization|NATO]] allies that have been bullied by Trump are going to be willing… to go on this suicide mission for someone who is an asshole to them.
**Adam Mockler from [[w:MeidasTouch|MeidasTouch]] quoted telling [[CNN]] in [https://inews.co.uk/news/world/trump-iran-gamble-failed-americas-allies-pay-it-4309972 &quot;Trump’s Iran gamble has failed – and America’s allies will pay for it&quot;], ''iNews'' (March 22, 2026)

*Maybe me. Me and the ayatollah, whoever the ayatollah is, whoever the next ayatollah is. There’s automatically a regime change, but we’re dealing with some people that I find to be very reasonable, very solid. The people within know who they are. They’re very respected, and maybe one of them will be exactly what we’re looking for.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted on who would control the [[w:Strait of Hormuz|Strait of Hormuz]] in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/trump-ayatollah-joint-leadership-hormuz-b2944024.html &quot;Trump proposes extraordinary ‘joint leadership’ of Iran alongside ayatollah&quot;], ''Independent'' (23 March 2026)

*No negotiations have been held with the US, and fake news is used to manipulate the financial and oil markets and escape the quagmire in which the US and Israel are trapped.
**[[w:Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf|Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf]] quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/trump-ayatollah-joint-leadership-hormuz-b2944024.html &quot;Trump proposes extraordinary ‘joint leadership’ of Iran alongside ayatollah&quot;], ''Independent'' (23 March 2026)

*Because they’re going to make a deal. They did something yesterday that was amazing, actually. They gave us a present. And the present arrived today. And it was a very big present worth a tremendous amount of money. And I’m not going to tell you what that present is, but it was a very significant prize.… That meant one thing to me—we’re dealing with the right people.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted on negotiations with [[Iran]] in [https://www.newsbreak.com/the-new-republic-1991457/4556482986909-trump-says-he-changed-his-mind-after-iran-gave-very-big-present &quot;Trump Says He Changed His Mind After Iran Gave 'Very Big Present'&quot;], ''Newsbreak'' (24 March 2026)

*Has the level of your inner ⁠struggle reached the stage ⁠of you negotiating with yourself?
**Iranian Ebrahim Zolfaqari's rhetorical question to Donald Trump quoted in [https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2026/3/25/us-talking-to-itself-says-iran-as-trump-claims-wheels-of-diplomacy-turning &quot;US talking to itself, says Iran as Trump claims wheels of diplomacy turning&quot;], ''Al Jazeera'' (25 March 2026)

* The enemy signals negotiation in public, while in secret it plots a ground attack. Our firing continues. Our missiles are in place. Our determination and faith have increased. [Iranian forces] are waiting for the arrival of American troops on the ground to set them on fire and punish their regional partners for ever.
** Iranian parliament speaker, [[w:Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf|Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf]], quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/mar/29/iran-accuses-us-plotting-ground-assault-publicly-seeking-talks &quot;Iran accuses US of plotting ground assault while publicly seeking talks&quot;], ''Guardian'' (29 March 2026)

*This is our God: Jesus, king of peace, who rejects war, whom no one can use to justify war. He does not listen to the prayers of those who wage war, but rejects them.
* ([[Isaiah]] 1:15) ‘Even though you make many prayers, I will not listen: your hands are full of blood.’
**[[Pope Leo XIV]] quoting ''Book of Isaiah'', reported in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cje4x38q8xqt?post=asset%3A58d1f907-b13b-443a-b413-d7741b63b566 &quot;'Hands full of blood': Pope Leo seemingly criticises those involved in war&quot;], ''BBC News'' (29 March 2026)

===Apr 2026===
[[File:Gas prices Sonoma, California April 7 2026.jpg|thumb|Trump: We will consider when Hormuz Strait is open, free, and clear. Until then, we are blasting Iran into oblivion or, as they say, back to the Stone Ages.]]
*We're finishing the job, and I think within maybe two weeks, maybe a couple of days longer, to do the job. But we want to knock out every single thing they have. Now, it's possible that we'll make a deal before that.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://newsroom.ap.org/editorial-photos-videos/detail?itemid=ad13f6002bde4e30befd5495f58499d9 &quot;Trump: US could leave Iran in 2 to 3 weeks, securing Strait of Hormuz is 'not for us'&quot;], ''AP News'' (Apr 1, 2026)

*We will consider [a ceasefire] when [[w:Hormuz Strait|Hormuz Strait]] is open, free, and clear. Until then, we are blasting [[Iran]] into oblivion or, as they say, back to the Stone Ages.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-iran-speech-stone-age-b2950116.html &quot;Trump threatens both Iran and NATO allies ahead of primetime address on war: ‘Back to the Stone Ages’&quot;], ''Independent'' (Apr 1, 2026)

*If hostility escalates, the entire region will turn into hell for you; the illusion of defeating the Islamic Republic of Iran will become a quagmire into which you will sink.
**[[w:Ebrahim Zolfaghari|Ebrahim Zolfaghari]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c5y90jl8veyo US and &quot;Iran trade threats to unleash 'hell' as search for missing US airman continues&quot;], ''BBC News'' (4 April 2026)

*In the attempt to try to prevent Iran from developing a weapon of mass destruction, the US handed Iran a weapon of mass disruption.
**Ali Vaez, quoted in [https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/us-intelligence-warns-iran-unlikely-ease-hormuz-strait-chokehold-soon-sources-2026-04-03/ Reuters]

*Tuesday will be Power Plant Day, and Bridge Day, all wrapped up in one, in Iran. There will be nothing like it!!! Open the Fuckin' Strait, you crazy bastards, or you'll be living in Hell - JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah. President DONALD J. TRUMP
**[https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvg0q6wdzp1o Trump issues expletive-laden threat to Iran over Hormuz Strait blockage], ''BBC News'' (5 April 2026)

* Subject to the Islamic Republic of Iran agreeing to the COMPLETE, IMMEDIATE, and SAFE OPENING of the Strait of Hormuz, I agree to suspend the bombing and attack of Iran for a period of two weeks
** [[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/apr/07/trump-iran-war-ceasefire US and Iran agree to provisional ceasefire as Tehran says it will reopen strait of Hormuz], ''The Guardian'' (8 April 2026 )

* If attacks against Iran are halted, our Powerful Armed Forces will cease their defensive operations. For a period of two weeks, safe passage through the Strait of Hormuz will be possible via coordination with Iran's Armed Forces and with due consideration of technical limitations.
** Iran’s foreign minister, [[w:Abbas Araghchi|Abbas Araghchi]] quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/apr/07/trump-iran-war-ceasefire &quot;US and Iran agree to provisional ceasefire as Tehran says it will reopen strait of Hormuz&quot;], ''The Guardian'' (8 April 2026 )

* The Iranians don’t seem to realize they have no cards, other than a short term extortion of the World by using International Waterways. The only reason they are alive today is to negotiate!
** [[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/apr/10/jd-vance-warns-iran-against-trying-to-play-the-us-in-peace-talks &quot;JD Vance warns Iran against trying to ‘play’ the US in peace talks&quot;], ''The Guardian'' (10 April 2026 )

*The simple question is, do we see a fundamental commitment of will for the Iranians not to develop a nuclear weapon, not just now, not just two years from now, but for the long term. We haven’t seen that yet.
**[[JD Vance]]  quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/iran-us-peace-talks-vance-trump-b2956013.html &quot;Why the US-Iran peace talks failed after just one day – and what happens next&quot;], ''The Independent'' (12 April 2026)

* We’re going to clean out the strait.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/5827840-trump-navy-strait-hormuz-blockade/ &quot;US military will ‘clean out’ Strait of Hormuz: Trump&quot;], ''The Hill'' (12 April 2026)

* We’re very disappointed with [[NATO]], we’re very, very disappointed that they didn’t come. Now, they want to come and they want to help with the strait.
**Trump quoted in [https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/5827840-trump-navy-strait-hormuz-blockade/ &quot;US military will ‘clean out’ Strait of Hormuz: Trump&quot;], ''The Hill'' (12 April 2026)

[[File:Straße von Hormuz.jpg|thumb|Trump - Iran has agreed to never close the Strait of Hormuz again]]

* In line with the ceasefire in Lebanon, the passage for all commercial vessels through [the] [[w:Strait of Hormuz|Strait of Hormuz]] is declared completely open for the remaining period of ceasefire, on the coordinated route as already announced by Ports and Maritime Organisation of the Islamic Rep. of Iran.
** Iran Foreign Minister [[w:Abbas Araghchi|Abbas Araghchi]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cqxdg17yr2wt Iran says Strait of Hormuz is 'open' as Trump says US blockade will continue until deal reached], ''BBC News'' (Apr 17, 2026)

* [[Iran]] has agreed to never close the Strait of Hormuz again. It will no longer be used as a weapon against the World!
** [https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116420562510387829 Donald Trump on Truth Social] (Apr 17, 2026)

* Based on the fact that the Government of [[Iran]] is seriously fractured, not unexpectedly so and, upon the request of Field Marshal Asim Munir, and Prime Minister [[w:Shehbaz Sharif|Shehbaz Sharif]], of [[Pakistan]], we have been asked to hold our Attack on the Country of Iran until such time as their leaders and representatives can come up with a unified proposal. I have therefore directed our Military to continue the Blockade and, in all other respects, remain ready and able, and will therefore extend the Ceasefire until such time as their proposal is submitted, and discussions are concluded, one way or the other.
** [[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cx297218m9vt &quot;Iran says reopening Strait of Hormuz 'impossible' if US blockade continues&quot;], ''BBC News'' (Apr 22, 2026)

* We are all 'Iranian' and 'revolutionary,' and with the iron unity of the nation and government, with complete obedience to the Supreme Leader. We will make the aggressor criminal regret his actions.
** Iran's President {{w|Masoud Pezeshkian}} quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c0mjev4kn9jt?page=2 &quot;Trump says Israel-Lebanon ceasefire extended by three weeks, but he won't 'rush' Iran deal&quot;], ''BBC News'' (Apr 24, 2026)

===May 2026===
*Iran has taken some shots at unrelated Nations with respect to the Ship Movement, PROJECT FREEDOM, including a South Korean Cargo Ship. Perhaps it’s time for South Korea to come and join the mission!{{Pbri}}We’ve shot down seven small Boats or, as they like to call them, “fast” Boats. It’s all they have left. Other than the South Korean Ship, there has been, at this moment, no damage going through the Strait. Secretary of War Pete Hegseth and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Dan Caine, will have a News Conference tomorrow morning.
** [https://truthsocial.com/@realdonaldtrump Trump Truth Social Truth], 4 May 2026 
*Countries from all over the World. almost all of which are not involved in the Middle Eastern dispute going on so visibly, and violently, for all to see, have asked the United States if we could help free up their Ships. which are locked up in the Strait of Hormuz, on something which they have absolutely nothing to do with - They are merely neutral and innocent bystanders! For the good of Iran, the Middle East, and the United States, we have told these Countries that we will guide their Ships safely out of these restricted Waterways, so that they can freely and ably get on with their business. Again, these are Ships from areas of the World that are not in any way involved with that which is currently taking place in the Middle East. I have told my Representatives to inform them that we will use best efforts to get their Ships and Crews safely out of the Strait. In all cases, they said they will not be returning until the area becomes safe for navigation, and everything else. This process, '''Project Freedom''', will begin Monday morning, Middle East time. I am fully aware that my Representatives are having very positive discussions with the Country of Iran, and that these discussions could lead to something very positive for all. The Ship movement is merely meant to free up people, companies, and Countries that have done absolutely nothing wrong - They are victims of circumstance. This is a Humanitarian gesture on behalf of the United States, Middle Eastern Countries but, in particular, the Country of Iran. Many of these Ships are running low on food, and everything else necessary for large scale crews to stay on board in a healthy and sanitary manner. I think it would go a long way in showing Goodwill on behalf of all of those who have been fighting so strenuously over the last number of months. If, in any way, this Humanitarian process is interfered with, that interference will, unfortunately, have to be dealt with forcefully. Thank you for your attention to this matter!
**[https://truthsocial.com/@realdonaldtrump Trump Truth Social Truth]
*Quranic verdict of Zarif and Rouhani is execution definitely indeed
**Qasemian[https://www.khabaronline.ir/news/2213690/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%82%D8%A7%D8%B3%D9%85%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AD%DA%A9%D9%85-%D9%82%D8%B1%D8%A2%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D8%B8%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%81-%D9%88-%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%AD%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D9%82%D8%B7%D8%B9%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B9%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%85 ]19:05, (3 May 2026)
* Do you take out your wife, sister and wife so that unmarried men can look? There is a law, the parliament has approved it. I advise these women who come out without hijab: gather yourself. If these people decide, they will destroy your life. Netanyahu kills people, you beat people's opinion. They come again and appear in the square and street. Will you bring your sister and this woman so that the eyes of non-mahram men will fall on her situation?
**[https://www.khabaronline.ir/news/2213662/%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%87-%D8%B1%D8%B4%D8%AA-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%85-%D8%AA%D8%B5%D9%85%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%A8%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AF-%D8%AF%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%B2%DA%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%A8%DB%8C-%D8%AD%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D9%87%D8%A7 Imam Juma Rasht] (3 May 2026)

* Operation Epic Fury is concluded. We achieved the objectives of that operation.
** [[Marco Rubio]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c1wz2ld4535t US &quot;Secretary of State Marco Rubio says offensive stage of Iran war is 'over'&quot;], ''BBC News'' (4 May 2026)

* Based on the request of [[Pakistan]] and other Countries, the tremendous Military Success that we have had during the Campaign against the Country of Iran and, additionally, the fact that Great Progress has been made toward a Complete and Final Agreement with Representatives of Iran, we have mutually agreed that, while the Blockade will remain in full force and effect, Project Freedom (The Movement of Ships through the Strait of Hormuz) will be paused for a short period of time to see whether or not the Agreement can be finalized and signed. 
** Trump quoted in  [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c152zyj0599t &quot;Trump says US will pause operation to guide ships through Strait of Hormuz&quot;], ''BBC News'' (6 May 2026)

* We have such a great military and great navy. And they were going straight through, and they said, “Turn your ship around!”. And there was no response. “Turn your ship around! Evacuate your engine room immediately!” And you see all these guys running out of there. Now, they’re five miles away — in one shot, into the engine room, blew up the engine room; the ship stopped, and they used tugboats. And then we landed on top of it — on top of everything else — we then land on top of it. And '''we took over the ship; we took over the cargo, took over the oil. It’s a very profitable business'''. Who would have thought we were doing that? '''We’re like pirates. We’re sort of like pirates'''. But we’re not playing games.
** Trump quoted in [https://geopoliticaleconomy.com/2026/05/09/trump-pirates-iran-ships-china-us-sanctions/ Trump boasts ‘we’re like pirates’, seizing Iran’s ships, as China challenges US sanctions]. Geopolitical Economy Report. (9 May 2026)

* We will never bow our heads before the enemy, and if talk of dialogue or negotiation arises, it does not mean surrender or retreat.
** Iranian President [[w:Masoud Pezeshkian|Masoud Pezeshkian]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/clypgz9e5pmo &quot;Trump calls Iran response to US proposal to end war 'totally unacceptable&quot;], ''BBC News'' (10 May 2026)

* 1. They martyred the great and devoted leader of the Islamic Revolution; 2. No Muslim country came to Iran aid. What sort of Islam is this .. what kind of Muslimhoodness is this; 3.Iran continues to resist the big and small Satan (America and Israel); 4. On one side of today's battle are America and Israel, and on the other side are Muslim Iran and the resistance forces. Which side are you; 5. Think about the future of the Islamic world. You know that America is not loyal to you and Israel is your enemy. Think for a minute about yourself and the future of the region;  6. Unity of the Islamic Ummah with all its power can provide and guarantee the security, excellence and independence of countries for everyone
**letter to 6 countries Larijani[https://fa.alalam.ir/news/7428293/%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%87-%DB%B6-%D8%A8%D9%86%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D8%B7%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D9%85%D8%B3%D9%84%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AC%D9%87%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%88-%D8%AF%D9%88%D9%84%D8%AA-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%85%DB%8C ]
*If you want Internet, pack and get up, leave your things, go to Afghanistan, live where there is Internet.
**IRIB anchor man [https://fararu.com/fa/news/970808/%D8%B4%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B2%DB%8C-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86%D8%AA%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AA-5g-%D8%A7%D9%81%D8%BA%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D9%88%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%87%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AC%D8%A7-%D8%B2%D9%86%D8%AF%DA%AF%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF ]p
*Like a rogue gang, the Iranian regime is pillaging resources that rightfully belong to the Iraqi people. Treasury will not stand idly by as Iran's military exploits Iraqi oil to fund terrorism against the United States and our partners.
**[https://twitter.com/SecScottBessent/status/2052447601304178863?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw Bessent]
*God's order to fight Fitne. Israel is to be wiped out. Division causes failure against enemies 
**Imam Karaj[https://www.imna.ir/news/971477/%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%87-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AC-%D8%A7%D8%AE%D8%AA%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%81-%D8%A7%D9%81%DA%A9%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%B2%D9%85%DB%8C%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%B4%DA%A9%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D8%AF%D8%B4%D9%85%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA ][https://www.didbaniran.ir/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-3/284228-%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%87-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AC-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%AE%D8%AF%D8%A7-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%DA%A9%D9%87-%D8%AA%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%B1%D9%81%D8%AA%D9%86-%D9%81%D8%AA%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%A8%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AF%D8%B4%D9%85%D9%86-%D8%A7%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%B2%D9%87-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B2%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%B2%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%AF%D8%B4-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D9%86%D8%AF%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%85 ]
*Report of high Damage of internet blackout from government is greatly exaggerated.
**[https://www.zoomit.ir/iran-news/459800-denies-exaggerated-internet-outage-claims/] MP of Tehran 18:28, 15 May 2026 (UTC)~

*Trump is hopeless and desperate he went to begging China for no result. He will not be satisfied until Iran is destroyed.
**[https://www.khabaronline.ir/news/2219513/%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%87-%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%84-%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%BE-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AA%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%B3-%D8%A8%D9%87-%DA%86%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%86%D8%AA%DB%8C%D8%AC%D9%87-%D9%86%DA%AF%D8%B1%D9%81%D8%AA Ayatollah Imam Ardebil] (15 May 2026)

*China encourages the US and Iran to continue resolving their differences and disputes, including the nuclear issue, through negotiations, and advocates the swift reopening of the Strait of Hormuz on the basis of maintaining a ceasefire
**Chinese FM Wang in [https://aa.com.tr/en/asia-pacific/chinese-top-diplomat-urges-diplomacy-on-iran-after-trump-xi-summit/3938851] (15 May 2026)

*The most important issue today is trust. We cannot trust the Americans in any way
**[https://en.mehrnews.com/news/244536/Araghchi-holds-presser-in-New-Delhi], Iraqchi (15 May 2026)

*We’ve taken out much of what we’d have to do, probably another two weeks, two weeks, maybe three weeks I’m very torn on it, because they lost 42,000 people in the first two weeks. I don’t really want to see that You can’t have an unarmed population against people with AK-47s The Iranian people have to have guns and I think they’re getting some guns.


As soon as they have guns, they’ll fight like as good as anybody there is.
**President Trump 07:47, 22 May 2026 (UTC)~~[https://www.iranintl.com/en/202605057012 ]
*They can either agree to a piece of paper that is satisfactory to the United States, or they can face a punishment from our military, the likes of which has not been seen in modern history. That’s the choice that they face
**Miller [https://unb.com.bd/category/World/trump-official-warns-iran-of-unprecedented-military-action-over-deal-holdout/186431 ] 07:47, 22 May 2026 (UTC)~

*Our American issue solves when they surely get the powerfulness we have , and they can't do anything against us
**Mohamed Mkokhber[https://www.khabaronline.ir/news/2222394/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%AA%D8%AD%D9%84%DB%8C%D9%84-%D9%85%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D8%AF%D8%B1%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B1%D9%87-%D8%B2%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AD%D9%84-%D8%B4%D8%AF%D9%86-%D9%85%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%A6%D9%84-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7 ] 07:47, 22 May 2026 (UTC)~~
* Matchmaking booths had been set up at rallies in Tehran, allowing young men and women to register for introductions under what organizers call “easy marriage.
**Fars[https://www.iranintl.com/en/202605215847 ]
*It's a possibility Iran we can go around ceasefire 
**[https://www.khabaronline.ir/news/2222363/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B9%D8%B6%D9%88-%DA%A9%D9%85%DB%8C%D8%B3%DB%8C%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D9%85%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%85%D8%AC%D9%84%D8%B3-%D8%A7%D8%AD%D8%AA%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%84-%D8%B9%D8%A8%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A2%D8%AA%D8%B4-%D8%A8%D8%B3-%D8%A7%D8%B2 ] National security Islamic Cunsultative Assembly MP 07:47, 22 May 2026 (UTC)~
*Trying to prohibit Iranians in LA from bringing the Lion and Sun flag into the stadium is like trying to prevent Americans from bringing the U.S. flag into an American stadium. It would cause mass unrest.

“World Cup matches best illustrate the passion Iranian-Americans feel for their homeland and the contempt they feel toward the Iranian government. Waving the Lion and Sun flag is simultaneously a show of support for the national team and a protest against the regime
**[https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/7288376/2026/05/19/world-cup-fifa-iran-flag/ NYTimes] 07:47, 22 May 2026 (UTC)~~

*This is not good timing for me, I have a thing called Iran and other things
**Trump 07:47, 22 May 2026 (UTC)~ [https://www.iranintl.com/en/202605214172#:~:text=US%20President%20Donald%20Trump%20said,called%20Iran%20and%20other%20things.%E2%80%9D ]
== See also ==
* [[Iran]]
* [[Israel]]
* [[Middle East]]
* [[Second presidency of Donald Trump]]
* [[Might makes right]]

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Commons category}}
* [https://www.bbc.com BBC coverage of 2026 Iran conflict]
* [https://www.aljazeera.com/news Al Jazeera: Iran crisis coverage]

[[Category:2026]]
[[Category:2020s in Iran]]
[[Category:Wars and battles]]
[[Category:Arab-Israeli conflict]]</text>
      <sha1>5yugacl6f6nac4xt2jh0fp7hh9d3f58</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944131</id>
      <parentid>3944130</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T07:48:31Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Baratiiman</username>
        <id>842201</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944131</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="80718" sha1="fjtddwzvggyi2r2qgk75n6kak59jznj" xml:space="preserve">[
[[File:Strait of Hormuz.jpg|thumb|Blockade Plus : Sustain the blockade and accompanying economic warfare to destabilize the regime’s hold on the state; remake the world in America’s energy dominance image to mitigate long-term price impacts while undermining China’s global ambition to defeat the United States; and order the US military to forge a path through the Strait of Hormuz to restore freedom of navigation [https://nypost.com/2026/05/01/opinion/heres-how-to-crush-tehran-in-three-moves/ ]]]
[File:Pirate Flag of Jack Rackham.svg|thumb|We took over the ship; we took over the cargo, took over the oil. It’s a very profitable business . . . We’re like pirates. We’re sort of like pirates. - Trump[https://geopoliticaleconomy.com/2026/05/09/trump-pirates-iran-ships-china-us-sanctions/]]]

[[File:Flag of the United States Secretary of the Army.svg|thumb|God is good~Hegseth[https://www.cnn.com/2026/04/06/politics/hegseth-trump-iran-war-easter-christianity-analysis ]]][[File:TrinityDetonation1945GIF.gif|thumb|If there's no ceasefire, you're just going to have to look at one big glow coming out of Iran. President DJT[https://www.skynews.com.au/world-news/united-states/one-big-glow-coming-out-of-iran-trumps-wild-threat-as-he-hints-peace-deal-talks-might-collapse/video/8a668c00deaff3d27568bc78441e4a29 ]]]
[[File:Seal_of_the_Army_of_the_Guardians_of_the_Islamic_Revolution.svg|thumb|Having an atomic bomb is used to scare the enemy, and we should not use this bomb on the people in any way, unless it happens.[http://didbaniran.ir/fa/tiny/news-281553 Nataj]]][[File:Donald Trump OEF.jpg|thumb|Trump: &quot;I think the war is very complete, pretty much&quot; (Mar 9th)]]
On 28 February 2026, [[Israel]] and the [[United States]] launched a '''[[w:2026 Iran War|coordinated joint attack]]''' on multiple sites in [[Iran]], sparking a major conflict. The operation, codenamed '''Operation Roaring Lion''' and '''Operation Epic Fury''' by the [[w:United States Department of Defense|U.S. Department of Defense]], targeted senior Iranian officials, military command centers, and key strategic facilities, with the declared aim of [[w:regime change|regime change]]. The attack included the [[w:Assassination of Ali Khamenei|assassination]] of Iran’s second [[w:Supreme Leader of Iran|Supreme Leader]], [[Ali Khamenei]].

The strikes began in the cities of [[Tehran]], [[w:Isfahan|Isfahan]], [[w:Qom|Qom]], [[w:Karaj|Karaj]], and [[w:Kermanshah|Kermanshah]]. Several Iranian government figures were killed, including [[w:Ali Shamkhani|Ali Shamkhani]], the secretary of the [[w:Supreme National Security Council|Supreme National Security Council]]. Witnesses reported explosions across multiple regions. Israeli Defense Minister [[w:Israel Katz|Israel Katz]] confirmed that the [[w:Israel Defense Forces|Israel Defense Forces]] had conducted the strikes. [[w:Donald Trump|Donald Trump]], in a video posted on [[w:Truth Social|Truth Social]], announced that the United States had joined Israel in launching attacks against Iran.

In retaliation, Iranian forces launched dozens of [[w:Unmanned aerial vehicles in the Iranian military|drones]] and [[w:ballistic missiles|ballistic missiles]] across the [[w:Persian Gulf|Persian Gulf]], targeting Israel as well as U.S. military installations in [[Jordan]], [[Kuwait]], [[w:Bahrain|Bahrain]], [[Qatar]], [[Iraq]], [[Saudi Arabia]], and the [[United Arab Emirates]].
[[File:Khamenei last end year 5458884.jpg|thumb|The newly supreme appointed leader should deliver message of the peace to world and declare new era in Iran , a historic neccessity to free political prisoners and declare public general amnesty for those that haven't collaborated in killing Iranians and/or 2026 Iran massacres [https://www.khabarfoori.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-59/3198657-%D8%AC%D8%A8%D9%87%D9%87-%D8%A7%D8%B5%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%AD%D8%A7%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AA%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1%DB%8C-%D8%AC%D8%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AD%D8%A7%D9%88%DB%8C-%D9%BE%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%B5%D9%84%D8%AD-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AC%D9%87%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A2%D8%BA%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%AF%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%B2%D9%87-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B4%D8%AF-%D8%A7%D8%B9%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%B9%D9%81%D9%88-%D8%B9%D9%85%D9%88%D9%85%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D9%84%DB%8C%D9%87-%DA%A9%D8%B3%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D9%87-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%B4%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%A2%D9%84%D9%88%D8%AF%D9%87-%D9%86%D8%B4%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A2%D8%B2%D8%A7%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D9%87%D9%85%D9%87-%D8%B2%D9%86%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-%D9%81%D8%B9%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%D8%AF%D9%86%DB%8C-%DB%8C%DA%A9-%D8%B6%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%AA-%D9%85%D9%84%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AE%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA ]]][[File:Mojtaba Khamenei 2019.jpg|thumb|another Khamenei is coming.~[https://www.khabarfoori.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-59/3198781-%D8%AA%D8%A7%DB%8C%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%AA%D9%84%D9%88%DB%8C%D8%AD%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AA%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%A2%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%84%D9%87-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%AC%D8%AA%D8%A8%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%B9%D9%86%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D8%A8%D8%B9%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D9%88%D8%B3%D8%B7-%D8%B9%D8%B6%D9%88-%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1%DB%8C QomImam]]][[File:Flag of the Cooperation Council for the Arab States of the Gulf.svg|thumb|Trump is hysterical and struggling with last final breaths. Americans are at the end of their rope. Enemy is caught in desperate swamp...Netanyahu pumped up US to attack, we will exact vengeance...Trump you are a retarded person, ...we are funneling through pass of war,... Iranians have civilization, countries of region are acting like cuckold pimps... Trump says some people within of our military have defected give us 2 of these people names to us[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77421052/%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%BE-%D8%A2%D8%AF%D9%85-%D8%B9%D9%82%D8%A8-%D8%A7%D9%81%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%DA%AF%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF ~Larijani][https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77421726/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D9%86%D9%81%D8%B3-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D8%AE%D8%B1-%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%BE-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9-%D8%B4%D8%AF%D9%87-%D9%88 ][https://farsnews.ir/mohammadreza_dehghan/1772912586911483130/%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%A7-%DA%AF%D8%B1%D9%81%D8%AA%D9%86-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%B3%D8%B1-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D9%86%D9%85%DB%8C-%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%85 ]]][[File:State_flag_of_Iran_(1964%E2%80%931980).svg|thumb|Seventeen 17 cities of Caucasian Iran was separated from Iran by Tsar Russia. We are reborn from ashes of Mongol invasion and Timurid.[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77413081/%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%AF%DA%AF%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D9%88%D9%86-%D9%88-%D8%AE%D8%A7%DA%A9 ]]]

== Quotes ==
&lt;small&gt;Please add quotes in chronological order&lt;/small&gt;
===Feb 2026===
*Finally, to the great, proud people of Iran, I say tonight that the hour of your freedom is at hand… Stay sheltered. Don't leave your home. It's very dangerous outside. Bombs will be dropping everywhere . when we are finished, take over your  government. It will be yours to take. This will be probably your only chance for
**Trump [https://www.pbs.org/newshour/world/read-trumps-full-statement-on-iran-attack PRESIDENT TRUMP's message to the great people of Iran ..]
*firm of heart against the disbelievers, compassionate among themselves.
**Khamenei quoted Quran[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77473280/%D8%A3%D8%B4%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%A1-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D9%84%DA%A9%D9%81%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%B1%D8%AD%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%A1-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%D9%87%D9%85 ]
*There's a special place in hell reserved for pro-Trump Iranians.
**IRGC Mashre Dimitri Lascaris [https://www.shahrekhabar.com/news/177328434067132 ]
*400,000 armed people are ready to go to revolt against the United States government system
**Gen Araste[https://www.ettelaat.com/news/140255/%DB%B4%DB%B0%DB%B0-%D9%87%D8%B2%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D9%86%D9%81%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B3%D9%84%D8%AD-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%AF%D9%87-%D9%82%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C%D9%87-%D9%86%D8%B8%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86-%DA%A9%D8%B4%D9%88%D8%B1-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%86%D8%AF#ref=shahrekhabar ]
*Russia and China will win the war not just Iran
**IRGC Gen RahimSafavi[https://www.shahrekhabar.com/news/177326496039426 ]
*We have arm around Americans neck we will be slapping it when it moves
**IRGC Gen Mohsen rezai[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77471755/%D9%85%D8%AD%D8%B3%D9%86-%D8%B1%D8%B6%D8%A7%DB%8C%DB%8C-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%BE%D8%B4%D8%AA-%DA%AF%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%86-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AA%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%D8%AF-%D8%AA%DA%A9%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%AF-%DB%8C%DA%A9 ]
*If anyone comes to street they are seen as enemies and not as protestors.All our kids are putting their finger on triggers all alleys , streets , city squares belong to Police, special units and The IRGC Basij.
**FARAJA Cmdr Gen Ahmed Radan[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77462710/%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%DA%A9%D8%B3%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AF%D8%B4%D9%85%D9%86-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A7%D9%88-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%B9%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%B6 ]
* I can see that the peace deal is within our reach... if we... allow [[diplomacy]] the space it needs to get there... I don't think any alternative to diplomacy is going to solve this problem. ...The [[heart]] of this deal is very important and ...we have captured that heart. ...[I]f the ultimate objective is to ensure forever, that Iran cannot have a [[Nuclear weapons|nuclear bomb]] ...we have cracked that problem ...[W]e are talking about zero stockpiling ...[I]f you cannot stockpile material that is enriched ...there is no way you can ...create a bomb ...and ...equally important ...full and comprehensive verification by the [[w:International Atomic Energy Agency|IAEA]] ...The current stockpiles ...will be down-blended to the lowest level possible ...and converted into fuel that ...will be irreversible. ...I am ...confident ...that even the United States inspectors will have access at some point ...if we have a deal that is respected, and fair, and ...durable ...We have agreed, in general, to discuss economic and security cooperation between Iran and its neighbors, and set up a process of dialogue that will ...start the elements of building confidence, ...a rapport, a process that can ...lead ...to an understanding on all these ...areas of concern ...on the Iranian side, and ...on the [[w:Gulf Cooperation Council|GCC]] side. ...Broad terms, ...the politics, the ...main issues ...can be agreed [upon] tomorrow. The technicalities will take some time to work... out with... the IAEA. ...[T]hat can also be done ...relatively quickly, because a lot of this ...groundwork was done years ago, and it's ...in place. ...The substantial progress... is... far more than any time before. We just need that bit of extra time to close the deal.
** {{w|Badr bin Hamad Al Busaidi}}, &quot;Oman's foreign minister says U.S.-Iran nuclear 'deal is within our reach'&quot; (Feb 27, 2026) ''{{w|Face the Nation}}'' statements prior to the US-Israeli attacks. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pg5sXQDR8NY&amp;t=38s A Youtube video source.]

*Mahdi is with us and in charge of Umma, he has through Assembly of Experts introduced Ayatallah Mojtaba Khamenei
**[https://kayhan.ir/fa/news/328896/%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%B2%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%B9%D8%AC-%D9%88%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%81%D9%82%DB%8C%D9%87-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%D8%B9%D8%B1%D9%81%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF-%D9%86%DA%A9%D8%AA%D9%87 Hossein Shariatmadare]
*The revolution will not sit down until flag of Mahdi is raised on all corners of earth
**[https://kayhan.ir/fa/news/328901/%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%86%D9%87%E2%80%8C%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D8%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%AC%D8%AA%D8%A8%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA Hossein Shariatmadare]
*To save his soldiers Trump has gone to Volodymir Zelensky president-clown of Ukraine for aid
**[https://kayhan.ir/fa/news/328922/%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%86%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%AA-%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B2%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%B4-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86-%DB%8C%DA%A9-%D8%AF%D9%84%D9%82%DA%A9-%D8%B4%D8%AF Hossein Shariatmadare]
*War's balance changed and Islamic Republic of Iran has the upper hand, there won't be a negotiatons any country who helps America will be targeted as enemy
**[https://tasnimnews.ir/fa/news/1404/12/19/3537514/%D9%85%D9%88%D9%81%D9%82%DB%8C%D8%AA-90-%D8%AF%D8%B1%D8%B5%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%AD%D9%85%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%AA-%D9%85%D9%88%D8%B4%DA%A9%DB%8C-%D9%88-%D9%BE%D9%87%D9%BE%D8%A7%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%B2%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D9%86%D9%81%D8%B9-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA ICA]
*A vessel has passed through Hormuz strait , an United States (US) military navy escorted her. In Playstation
**ICA[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77461463/%D9%88%D8%A7%DA%A9%D9%86%D8%B4-%D8%B1%D8%A6%DB%8C%D8%B3-%D9%85%D8%AC%D9%84%D8%B3-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%A7%D8%AF%D8%B9%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%AF%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%BA%DB%8C%D9%86-%D9%88%D8%B2%DB%8C%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%B1%DA%98%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%AF%D8%B1%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B1%D9%87-%D8%AA%D9%86%DA%AF%D9%87 ]
*We have only just begun our missiles have left utter ruin and destruction ,Netanyahu won't let you see
**Abbas Iraqchi[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77462291/%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%82%DA%86%DB%8C-%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%B2%D9%87-%D8%B4%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%B9-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%85 ]
*Our enemy is the stupidest idiot. Our defense system is an ideology not just a defense system, while when we hit Haifa their people were begging for car gas
**FARAJA Cmdr Gen Achmed Radan [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77460868/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AF%D8%B4%D9%85%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A7%D8%AD%D9%85%D9%82-%D8%AA%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%86-%D9%87%D8%A7-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%86%D8%AF ]
*Your children shall read Quran while sitting by the missile launchers tonight.
**Gen Mousavi [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77461610/%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D9%85%D9%88%D8%B3%D9%88%DB%8C-%D9%81%D8%B1%D8%B2%D9%86%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B4%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%B4%D8%A8-%D9%BE%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%86%DA%86%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A7-%D9%82%D8%B1%D8%A2%D9%86-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%B3%D8%B1-%D9%85%DB%8C-%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AF ]

[[File:HIMARS Support Operation Epic Fury (9564974).jpg|thumb|Operation Epic Fury]]
===Mar 2026===
*All vessels shall not pass Hormuz Strait
**IRGCN Gen Ali Tangsiri[https://www.mehrnews.com/news/6771339/%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%AA%D9%86%DA%AF%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%B1%DB%8C-%D9%87%DB%8C%DA%86-%D8%B4%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%88%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AA%D8%A8%D8%B7-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%AA%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%88%D8%B2%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AD%D9%82-%D8%B9%D8%A8%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%AA%D9%86%DA%AF%D9%87-%D9%87%D8%B1%D9%85%D8%B2 ]
*How much of a cuckold is American president, Australian police has taken our girls out of the hotel and forced and made them to apply for asylum
**Mehdi Taj Chairman National Football Federation[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77458637/%D9%85%D9%87%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%AC-%D8%AF%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%88%D8%B2%DA%AF%DB%8C-%D8%B1%D8%A6%DB%8C%D8%B3-%D8%AC%D9%85%D9%87%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%AA%D8%A7-%DA%86%D9%87-%D8%AD%D8%AF-%D8%AF%D9%85-%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D8%AC%D9%84%D9%88%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%AC ]
*We are prepared to wage war against America for next at least another 10 year
**IRGC Gen Jabari[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77449662/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%B4%D8%A7%D9%88%D8%B1-%D9%81%D8%B1%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AF%D9%87-%DA%A9%D9%84-%D8%B3%D9%BE%D8%A7%D9%87-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%B9%D9%86%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A2%D8%AF%D9%85-%D9%85%D8%B7%D9%84%D8%B9-%D9%85%DB%8C-%DA%AF%D9%88%DB%8C%D9%85-%DA%A9%D9%87 ]
*Iran is the conscious of the humanity, its real dignity and glory. It is chosen people fighting for the Victory of the Light. It it Ormuzd, Ishraq. Mahdi people.
**Dugin Alexander[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77392273/%D8%AA%D9%88%DB%8C%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%84%DA%A9%D8%B3%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%AF%D9%88%DA%AF%DB%8C%D9%86-%D9%BE%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%AF%DA%AF%DB%8C-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86 ]
*The recent war is between good and evil
**ICA[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77432191/%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D8%A7%D8%AE%DB%8C%D8%B1-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D8%AD%D9%82-%D9%88-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B7%D9%84-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA ]
*Like thunder we will strike Haifa
**IRGC Gen Seid mousavi[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77449498/%D8%B3%D8%B1%D9%84%D8%B4%DA%A9%D8%B1-%D8%B9%D8%A8%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%84%D9%87%DB%8C-%D9%87%D9%85%DA%86%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%B5%D8%A7%D8%B9%D9%82%D9%87-%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D8%AD%DB%8C%D9%81%D8%A7-%D9%88-%D9%BE%D8%A7%DB%8C%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%87-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D9%85%D9%86%D8%B7%D9%82%D9%87 ]
* Iran’s leaders before the attack had been clear that they were willing to negotiate on the nuclear question. Talks were ongoing... There had appeared to be a good basis for agreement, given... an Iranian government that... was not in a position to enrich uranium... for the foreseeable future. ...Americans ...were deeply unhappy with the results of America’s last big wars of {{w|regime change}} ...[[War in Afghanistan (2001–2021)|in Afghanistan]] [[Iraq War|and Iraq]]. At the beginning of this joint [[w:2026 Iran war|US–Israel campaign against Iran]], only about a third of Americans supported the adventure...
** Dana Allin, &quot;US politics and the war against Iran&quot; (Mar 2, 2026) [https://www.iiss.org/online-analysis/online-analysis/2026/02/the-us-israel-campaign-in-iran/ &quot;The US-Israel campaign in Iran&quot;] @[[w:International Institute for Strategic Studies|IISS]].org

*This is a war that should end it once and for all.
::[https://www.mehrnews.com/news/6764020/%D9%86%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%B2%D8%A7%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AF%D9%86%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%84-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D9%85%D9%86%D8%B7%D9%82%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%AF ICA] (Mar 2 2026)

*Our Brave and Powerful Armed Forces will avenge each and every Iranian mother, , father, and child who has been targeted by hostile forces.
**foreign minister Abbas Iraqchi[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77405403/%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%82%DA%86%DB%8C-%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%B1%D9%88%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%85%D8%B3%D9%84%D8%AD-%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AA%DA%A9-%D8%AA%DA%A9-%D8%B4%D9%87%D8%AF%D8%A7-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%D9%86%D8%AF-%DA%AF%D8%B1%D9%81%D8%AA ]

*There is no shelter you can be safe 
**[https://www.shahrekhabar.com/news/177298212045678 IRGC text]

*We will fill Americans' coffins there is no end to war unless they fully surrender.
**IRGC operations mission statement[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77389339 ]

*Trump is more than 500 Americans killed dead America first or israel first. Inshallah Khamenei killing has heavy price
**Larijani[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77384703/%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%BE-%D8%AD%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%A8-%DA%A9%D9%86%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D9%87%D9%85-%D8%A7%D9%88%D9%84-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%DB%8C%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D9%88%D9%84-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%A6%DB%8C%D9%84 ]

* Irregardless of cost. Not unlike United States of America. Same as Iran has not in past 300 years started wars, Iran is ready for long war.
** [[w:Ali Larijani|Ali Larijani]], Secretary of the Supreme National Security Council of Iran. [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77359057 Source (in Persian)]

*Now that we have baited America do not make ceasefire and/or peace we must destroy them
::Ayatallah Panahian[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77388174/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%AD%D8%AC%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B3%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%85-%D9%BE%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%A7%D8%B6%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D8%AA%D8%B4-%D8%A8%D8%B3-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%86%D8%AF-%D9%86%D9%BE%D8%B0%DB%8C%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AF ]

*From us Iranian people only President son Aga Yusuf Pezeshkian and his buddies have internet connection.
::[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77388864/%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D9%85%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%85-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%81%D9%82%D8%B7-%D8%A2%D9%82%D8%A7-%DB%8C%D9%88%D8%B3%D9%81-%D9%88-%D8%B1%D9%81%DB%8C%D9%82%D8%A7%D8%B4-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86%D8%AA%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AA-%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AF Payamemam]

* These attacks from Israel and the United States... were unprovoked. There was no immanent threat. Many would interpret this war to be an illegal war.
** Evaleila Pesaran, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nJnVYpbKuM&amp;t=600s &quot;The war with Iran: An expert analysis&quot;] (Mar 2, 2026) Youtube video from [[University of Cambridge|Cambridge University]] channel.

* I see no indication that ...those institutions are weak or fraying or that you can destroy ...[them] from the air. ...[T]his administration is trying to justify the war the same way [[Jackson Pollock]] used to paint. You just throw a bucket of reasons up against the canvas and hope the result looks good. ...Iranian missiles ... [as] a threat to the United States... falls short of the truth by about 4,000 miles ...[I]f we're doing preventative wars now to prevent countries that might one day be a threat, is [[North Korea]]... [[China]]... [[Russia]] in line? I don't think so. ...I can't make head or tails out of the reason this administration has put forward for this war.
** [[w:Alan Eyre (diplomat)|Alan Eyre]], &quot;Expert panel breaks down U.S. objectives in Iran war&quot; (Mar 2, 2026) @''{{w|PBS News Hour}}''.

* Once again, America is going to war for Israel. Once again, many will die for the Zionist state, including American service members. Once again, we will stumble blindly into a military fiasco. Once again, we will do the bidding of a foreign power whose interests are not our interests, but whose lobbyists have bought up our political class, including Donald Trump. Once again, we will violate the U.N. charter by attacking a country that does not pose an imminent threat.
** [[Chris Hedges]], [https://scheerpost.com/2026/03/01/going-to-war-again-for-israel/ Going to War, Again, for Israel]. ScheerPost. (March 1, 2026)

* If the [[Precedents|precedent]] that is being set is, &quot;Any country with super
* [I]t is in many ways a final battle to decide what [[World War II]] was all about. Will [[international law]] crumble as a result of the unwillingness of enough countries to protect the rules of civilized [[law]] supporting the principles of [[Westphalian sovereignty|national sovereignty]], free from foreign interference and [[coercion]] from the 1648 {{w|Peace of Westphalia}} to the [[Charter of the United Nations|UN Charter]]?  And with regard to wars that inevitably are to be waged, will they spare {{w|civilian}}s and non-belligerents...
** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://www.counterpunch.org/2026/03/02/the-us-israeli-attack-was-to-prevent-peace-not-advance-it/ &quot;The US/Israeli Attack Was to Prevent Peace Not Advance It&quot;] (Mar 2, 2026) @''{{w|Counterpunch}}''

* Iran negotiators had agreed... not to have an [[Nuclear weapons|atom bomb]]... to reduce their refined uranium, to shift the refined uranium outside of the country, and to submit to an unprecedented degree of oversight... But none of this was about an atom bomb... The... reason that America has attacked Iran... was to control Near Eastern oil... and [[David Petraeus|General Petraeus]], years ago, had outlined this whole plan... &quot;...all of your profits and rents from the oil will be lent back to the United States, ...priced in dollars and invested in U.S. Treasury securities, U.S. bonds and U.S. stocks, so that the money, the vast dollar inflows from your oil exports, will all be part of the U.S. economy.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;I sat in on meetings in the {{w|White House}} in 1974 when this was discussed...
** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://www.democracynow.org/2026/3/3/michael_hudson_economist_trump_iran_attack A War for Oil:] Economist Michael Hudson on U.S. Quest to Control the World’s Oil Trade (Mar 3, 2026) @{{w|Democracy Now!}}

* [I]t is in many ways a final battle to decide what [[World War II]] was all about. Will [[international law]] crumble as a result of the unwillingness of enough countries to protect the rules of civilized [[law]] supporting the principles of [[Westphalian sovereignty|national sovereignty]], free from foreign interference and [[coercion]] from the 1648 {{w|Peace of Westphalia}} to the [[Charter of the United Nations|UN Charter]]?  And with regard to wars that inevitably are to be waged, will they spare {{w|civilian}}s and non-belligerents...
** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://www.counterpunch.org/2026/03/02/the-us-israeli-attack-was-to-prevent-peace-not-advance-it/ &quot;The US/Israeli Attack Was to Prevent Peace Not Advance It&quot;] (Mar 2, 2026) @''{{w|Counterpunch}}''

*The American philosophy is, number one, you bomb civilians, you break all the rules of international law which are against that. You bomb civilians to demoralize them. And if you concentrate, as Trump did, along with Israel, a few weeks ago, you {{w|2026 Minab school attack|bomb the schools}}, you bomb the hospitals. That’s American policy in foreign countries. It’s most visible in the case of Israeli policy, in Gaza, and now the West Bank as well. And it is the same policy that the United States has followed in Iran.
** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://geopoliticaleconomy.com/2026/03/29/war-iran-change-economy-michael-hudson/ &quot;The war on Iran is transforming the global economy: Economist Michael Hudson explains how&quot;] (Mar 29, 2026) @Geopolitical Economy Report

* Whenever a state chooses to go to [[war]]... you have to ask—where is the [[w:Intelligence assessment|intelligence]] on the threat? ...[T]he Trump administration ...in hurry mode ...chose to set [[diplomacy]] aside, despite the fact that the [mediating] [[w:Badr bin Hamad Al Busaidi#Diplomatic career|Omani foreign minister]] ...was convinced that remarkable progress had been made on the issue of [[Nuclear program of Iran|Iranian nuclear weapons]] ...[T]wo other arguments for the war: that the US faced an imminent threat from [[Iran]], and that Iran’s {{w|ballistic missile}} capability threatened the United States. Scratch this last claim—it’s simply not [[Truth|true]] ...Why would a much-weakened [[Islamic Republic of Iran|Islamic Republic]] pose an &quot;imminent threat&quot; ..? [[Marco Rubio]] has come forward with an absurd argument ...Does anyone truly believe that Israel would go it alone ...without US backing, that the operation was not jointly planned?  ...This is all desperate [[storytelling]], not intelligence.
** {{w|Wesley Wark}}, &quot;[https://thewalrus.ca/iran-foreign-policy-experts/ Eight Experts on What You’re Not Being Told about the War in Iran:] The questions that aren’t making it into the battlefield dispatches&quot; (Mar 3, 2026) @''{{w|The Walrus}}''

*  Ironically, the greatest beneficiaries of the United States’ grave [[wikt:violation#Noun|violation]]s of [[international law]] are the very actors whom, under normal circumstances, Washington would be seeking to restrain: [[Moscow]] will be emboldened to continue its barbaric [[w:Russo-Ukrainian war|assault on Ukraine]], while [[China]] will feel empowered to move on [[Taiwan]].
** [[w:Stephanie Turco Williams|Stephanie T. Williams]],  &quot;Flying blind&quot; (March 2, 2026) [https://www.brookings.edu/articles/after-the-strike-the-danger-of-war-in-iran/ &quot;After the strike: The danger of war in Iran&quot;] [[w:Brookings Institution|Brookings]].

* Iran negotiators had agreed... not to have an [[Nuclear weapons|atom bomb]]... to reduce their refined uranium, to shift the refined uranium outside of the country, and to submit to an unprecedented degree of oversight... But none of this was about an atom bomb... The... reason that America has attacked Iran... was to control Near Eastern oil... and [[David Petraeus|General Petraeus]], years ago, had outlined this whole plan... &quot;...all of your profits and rents from the oil will be lent back to the United States, ...priced in dollars and invested in U.S. Treasury securities, U.S. bonds and U.S. stocks, so that the money, the vast dollar inflows from your oil exports, will all be part of the U.S. economy.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;I sat in on meetings in the {{w|White House}} in 1974 when this was discussed...
** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://www.democracynow.org/2026/3/3/michael_hudson_economist_trump_iran_attack A War for Oil:] Economist Michael Hudson on U.S. Quest to Control the World’s Oil Trade (Mar 3, 2026) @{{w|Democracy Now!}}

*It's going to be... tempting for countries to think that in a world where there are no rules.., no [[w:Law of war|rules of war]], where that [[w:Liberal international order|post-war liberal order]], imperfect as it was, is now completely being disregarded.., that makes the world more dangerous for all of us. ...[T]here was an [[order]] of some kind ...a view that a degree of [[w:Consensus decision-making|international consensus]] was necessary ...before ...[[w:Interventionism (politics)|intervening in foreign countries]]. There were rules of war... [A]ll of us need to be... very thoughtful about supporting the creation of a world where anything goes, and [[might makes right]]. ...[[United States|America]] is still the preeminent [[power]], the {{w|superpower}}, the global [[Hegemony|hegemon]]. ...I hope this is a moment for Americans to reflect on the facts that the rules-based international order, which did act as a constraint on American power, also provided America with some meaningful [[protection]].
** [[Chrystia Freeland]], Chrystia Freeland on Iran, Ukraine, and Global Power Shifts | ''{{w|Amanpour and Company}}'' (Mar 3, 2026) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vlj_beVDuxg&amp;t=196s 3:16.]

* [I]f it's... possible that there are about to be acts of [[terrorism]] by [[Iran]] inside the United States, how can [[United States Congress|Congress]] continue to blockade funds for the [[w:United States Department of Homeland Security|Department of Homeland Security]] until it gets [[reform]]s... including an end to the [[lying]]..? You're going to see a real press by the [[Second presidency of Donald Trump|Trump administration]] to say, &quot;Release the funds and let the Department... resume... operations.., including falsely calling people terrorists if they operate a camera near an immigration agent.&quot; You're going to see attacks on the [[freedom of the press]]. This administration... regards it as illegal, criminal, for reporters simply to ask questions of [[The Pentagon|Pentagon employees]]... Only the designated leaders... get to speak... and if they're... saying things that look like they might not be [[Truth|true]], you can't second guess or question them. We have had many instances... of false indications of [[w:Powers of the president of the United States#Emergency powers|emergency powers]]. The whole [[w:Tariffs in the second Trump administration|tariff nonsense]]... rested on [[Falsehood|false claims]] of the president... about economic emergency. ...[N]ow there's a real [[war]].., a real risk of terrorist activity... That's a much more plausible emergency.., and... what [[Courts|court]] will say, &quot;We don't think you're telling the truth about this either&quot;? ...So there will be new assertions of emergency power... [P]eople who have the president's ear have been urging him to use emergency powers against the [[w:2026 United States elections|elections of 2026]]. The possibility of that... are much higher today... than... a week ago. ...We're moving into extraordinary danger to democratic institutions. The [[w:2026 Iran war|war in Iran]]... is an urgent [[w:Domestic policy of the second Trump administration|domestic policy]] question... a massive grant of power to a president and administration that have proven... that they will [[Abuse of power|abuse any powers]] that they are en[[trust]]ed with.
** [[David Frum]], &quot;[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8w7KOoD8sCs&amp;t=190s No Exit from Trump's War:] with Tom Nichols&quot; The David Frum Show. A Youtube video from ''{{w|The Atlantic}}'' channel. (Mar 4 2026)

*&quot;Senate votes down resolution to stop Trump from continuing war with Iran&quot; (Mar 4, 2026)
**&lt;small&gt;''{{w|The Independent}}''. [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/senate-iran-war-vote-trump-powers-resolution-b2932221.html Source.]&lt;/small&gt;
*Nobody gets to hide and give the president an easy pass or an end-run around the Constitution. Everybody's got to declare whether they're for this war or against it.
** Sen. [[Tim Kaine]]
*War is ugly, it always has been ugly, but we're taking out a regime that has been trying to attack us for quite some time.
** Sen. [[Markwayne Mullin]]
*I learned when I was fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan, that when elites in Washington bang the war drums, pound their chest, talk about the costs of war and act tough, they're not talking about them doing it, they're not talking about their kids. They're talking about working class kids like us.
** Rep. [[Jason Crow]]

* Why are we going into Iran? ...[I]t is the president's [[wikt:vainglory#Noun|vainglory]]. He thinks he's on a roll, that... this is easy to do; that you can [[w:2026 United States intervention in Venezuela|knock off dictatorships like Venezuela]], and then have a parade; that this solves a lot of his problems. It gets people not talking about the [[Epstein files]]. ...[A] huge chunk of [[Donald Trump]]'s [[Foreign policy of the United States|foreign policy]] is rooted in trying to get people to stop talking about the Epstein files. ...[H]e is that [[wikt:narrow-minded#Adjective|narrow]] and [[wikt:crass#Adjective|crass]]. ...Now he's going to say he's a [[w:Powers of the president of the United States#Emergency powers|war president]]. That means you can't criticize me... I can stomp on the press... I can declare a [[w:Powers of the president of the United States#Emergency powers|national emergency]]. ...As the [[Parliament of the United Kingdom|British Parliament]] said... in [~]1944... &quot;This is not a propitious time for an [[Elections|election]].&quot; ...[[wikt:mischief#Noun|[M]ischief]] comes with a war because... presidential war powers... become almost unchallengeable.
** [[w:Tom Nichols (academic)|Tom Nichols]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8w7KOoD8sCs&amp;t=797s Trump’s War With Iran and a New Danger at Home] | The [[David Frum]] Show (Mar 4, 2026) A Youtube video from ''{{w|The Atlantic}}'' channel.

*[[Donald Trump|The president]] was not going to be just another president on a very long list who sat back and stood by and passed the buck of this direct threat to the next administration. The president had a feeling, again, based on fact, that Iran was going to strike the United States, was going to strike our assets in the region, and he made a determination to launch Operation Epic Fury based on all of those reasons.
**[[Karoline Leavitt]] quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-iran-war-white-house-briefing-b2931933.html &quot;Karoline Leavitt insists Trump had a ‘feeling based on fact’ before Iran strikes but still won’t detail imminent threat to US&quot;]], ''The Independent'' (05 March 2026)

*[T]o take on the extraordinary risks... without having made the case with the American people.., citing immanent threats that aparently don't exist... that's problematic, and the chances of unintended consequences... are... very serious...  [W]e're... using.., in many cases very expensive weapons to take down $20,000 drones. That's not a good equation... over time. ...I'm worried about ...second and third order consequences ...we so deplete our arsenal, and it takes a long time to rebuild ...puts us in a disadvantageous position when it comes to ...a [[China]] or ...[[Russia]]. ...[M]uch as ...everyone should want to see a change... it may simply ...reinforce the [[Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps|IRGC]] ...[I]t's very hard to produce regime change from outside. You can't bomb your way to it. ...The [[wikt:red flag#Noun|red flag]] ...is that this could be [[Syrian civil war|Syria]] [[wikt:redux#Noun|redux]] or  ...[[Libyan Crisis (2011–present)|Libya]] redux ...the country fracturing, imploding or even exploding with [[refugee]]s and [[w:International migration|migration]].., [[Extremism|extremist]] groups taking hold... It's incredibly ...[[dangerous]]. ...[I]t's never too late for [[diplomacy]]. ...&lt;br /&gt;[W]hen [[Russia]] is ...reaching a weak point because of its dependence on oil to fuel its war economy ...they get a lifeline, ...the price of oil is going up. The [[Europe|Europeans]], in having moved away from Russian gas, are now more dependent on the [[Middle East]]. ...If the {{w|Strait of Hormuz}} gets tied up ...that's ...a lot of pressure ...So mapping out, gaming out, planning out and ...making sure you have something in place to deal with ...second and third order effects is ...important, and it's not ...clear ...that was done ...There's been a shifting rationale ...[or] explanation for why this, why now? ...That's why it's so important to have ...laid this out before the American people, and our partners and allies. We might have had less friction with them if there was a compelling case ...and had them on the take-off, not mid-flight or on the landing.
** [[Antony Blinken]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHgG-lkOi6w&amp;t=74s &quot;Former Secretary of State on the Two Keys to Ending Iran War&quot;] (Mar 4, 2026) A Youtube video from the [[w:Bloomberg News|Bloomberg]] Podcasts channel.

*Majority of Experts Assembly has come to pick next leader who is Seid.
**Dirbaz[https://www.etemadonline.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-9/764537-%D9%85%D8%AC%D9%84%D8%B3-%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1%DB%8C ] (Mar 8 2026)

* Unprovoked attacks by the [[United States|US]] and [[Israel]]... violate the fundamental prohibition on the use of [[force]], [[Sovereignty|sovereign]] [[equality]], {{w|territorial integrity}}, and the [[duty]] to [[Peace|peacefully]] settle disputes... They also violate the {{w|right to life}}... We cannot pick and choose when [[international law]] applies. Unlawful [[military]] [[w:Interventionism (politics)|intervention]] is not a solution... These attacks do not strike military abstractions – they strike people... {{w|Civilian}}s are bearing the brunt of this war... In a country that has already lost thousands to [[Violence|violent]] [[Political repression|repression]]... these attacks deepen... profound human [[tragedy]]... The targeting of civilians, educational facilities, and medical institutions constitutes a grave violation of [[international humanitarian law]] and [[w:International human rights law|human rights law]]... Any path forward must be grounded in the [[rule of law]], the will of the [[Iranians|Iranian people]], and full accountability for the [[wikt:violation#Noun|violation]] of international law, by all parties... 
** {{w|Mai Sato}}, [[w:Cecilia Bailliet|Cecilia M. Bailliet]], {{w|Astrid Puentes Riaño}}, {{w|Alexandra Xanthaki}}, {{w|Farida Shaheed}}, Surya Deva, {{w|Margaret Satterthwaite}}, {{w|Gina Romero}}, Nicolas Levrat, [[w:Richard Bennett (UN)|Richard Bennett]], Tomoya Obokata, [[w:Mary Lawlor (human rights advocate)|Mary Lawlor]], {{w|Ben Saul}}, {{w|Alice Jill Edwards}}, [[Francesca Albanese]], Morris Tidball-Binz, {{w|Siobhán Mullally}}, Gabriella Citroni, Grażyna Baranowska, Aua Baldé, Ana Lorena Delgadillo Pérez, {{w|Bina D'Costa}}, {{w|Claudia Flores}}, Ivana Krstić, {{w|Dorothy Estrada-Tanck}}, Haina Lu, [[Reem Alsalem]], {{w|Paula Gaviria Betancur}}, Elizabeth Salmón, Mariana Katzarova (Special Procedures of the Human Rights Council, volunteer Special Rapporteurs/Independent Experts/Working Groups) [https://www.ohchr.org/en/press-releases/2026/03/iran-un-experts-call-de-escalation-and-accountability &quot;Iran: UN experts call for de-escalation and accountability&quot;] (Mar 4, 2026) [[w:Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights|OHCHR]].

* [[Mohammed bin Salman|The Crown Prince]] and other [[w:Arab states of the Persian Gulf|Gulf]] leaders have been urging America not to undertake military action against Iran, because all of us believe... action will not remain confined to Iran; that Iran will retaliate against American in the area, which is present in all of the Gulf states, and as far away as [[Turkey]]... They've been warning the Americans not to undertake military action and suffer the consequences. ...I don't think the system in Iran will collapse any time soon. ...Iranian leadership has been preparing for an eventuality like this, because of what they have continued to hear from [[Benjamin Netanyahu|Mr. Netanyahu]] in the past 40 years. He has been calling for the destruction of Iran, and so the Iranians... have been preparing themselves for such an eventuality. ...The only way the system will go... is through the Iranian people.
** {{w|Turki bin Faisal Al Saud}}, &quot;Fmr. Saudi Intelligence Chief Discusses Gulf States' Reaction to Iran Attacks | ''{{w|Amanpour and Company}}''&quot; [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfGcX4XuZ5A&amp;t=62s 1:02,] 5:08.

* Iran just stated that they are going to hit very hard today, harder than they have ever been hit before.., THEY BETTER NOT DO THAT, HOWEVER, BECAUSE IF THEY DO, WE WILL HIT THEM WITH A FORCE THAT HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE! 
** [[Donald J. Trump]], post on Truth Social, &quot;Trump warns Iran of unprecedented force if it retaliates&quot; (Feb 28, 2026) {{w|Reuters}}.

*I think the war is very complete, pretty much. [Iran has] no navy, no communications, they've got no air force. Their missiles are down to a scatter. Their drones are being blown up all over the place, including their manufacturing of drones.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-iran-cbs-news-the-war-is-very-complete-strait-hormuz/ &quot;Trump says 'the war is very complete,' and he's considering taking over Strait of Hormuz&quot;], ''CBS News'' (Mar 9 2026)

*US officials are posting fake news to manipulate narkets. It won't protect them from inflationary tsunami they've imposed on Americans Markets are facing biggest shortfall in HISTORY bigger than Arab Oil Embargo, Kuwait 
**[https://www.etemadonline.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%85%D9%84%D9%84-17/764878-%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%82%DA%86%DB%8C-%D9%88%D8%B2%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%AC%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7 Mr Iraqchi] (Mar 10 2026)

*If Iran does anything that stops the flow of Oil within the Strait of Hormuz, they will be hit by the United States of America TWENTY TIMES HARDER than they have been hit thus far. Additionally, we will take out easily destroyable targets that will make it virtually impossible for Iran to ever be built back, as a Nation, again - Death, Fire, and Fury will reign upon them - But I hope, and pray, that it does not happen! This is a gift from the United States of America to China, and all of those Nations that heavily use the Hormuz Strait. Hopefully, it is a gesture that will be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your attention to this matter! President DONALD J. TRUMP
**[https://x.com/WhiteHouse/status/2031167037620236703 Trump on TruthSocial] (10 March 2026)

*Most definitely we are not seeking ceasefire we will break zionist life cycle of war-negotiations-ceasefire and then war again forever
**Moahamedbagher Ghabilaf[https://www.etemadonline.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-9/764797-%D8%A2%D8%AA%D8%B4-%D8%A8%D8%B3-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86- %D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%A6%DB%8C%D9%84 ] (Mar 10 2026)

*Take Bahrain back! Annex it
**MP Aytallah Resaei Hamid[https://www.khabarfoori.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-59/3200147-%DB%8C%DA%A9-%D9%86%D9%85%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86%D8%AF%D9%87-%D9%85%D8%AC%D9%84%D8%B3-%D8%A8%D8%AD%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D9%BE%D8%B3-%D8%A8%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%85 ], 12 March 2026

*I have seen his body after martyred, I heard he clenched his fist.You people have led the country. The will of the masses is to continue the effective and regrettable defense. Certainly, the leverage of blocking the Strait of Hormuz should still be used. Neighboring countries must make their position clear to the aggressors against our country... In any case, we will demand compensation from the enemy; if they refuse, we will seize as much of their property as we determine; if that is not possible, we will destroy as much of their property as we can.
**Mojtaba Khamenei (12 March 2026)[https://www.irna.ir/news/86100475/%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B9%D8%B8%D9%85-%D8%A7%D9%86%D9%82%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%AA%D8%A7%DA%A9%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D9%86%D9%82%D8%B4-%D9%88-%D8%AD%D8%B6%D9%88%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%85-%D8%AD%D8%B6%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%B5%D8%AD%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF ][https://www.khabarfoori.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-59/3200277-%D8%B4%D9%85%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%85-%DA%A9%D8%B4%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AE%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%B4%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B4%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%B5%D8%B1%D9%81-%D9%86%D8%B8%D8%B1-%D9%86%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%85-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF-%D9%87%D9%85%DA%86%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AA%D9%86%DA%AF%D9%87-%D9%87%D8%B1%D9%85%D8%B2-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%87-%D8%A8%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%B9%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AF%D9%88%D8%B3%D8%AA%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D9%87%D9%85%D8%B3%D8%A7%DB%8C%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%DB%8C%D9%85 ]

*Aggression against soil of Iranian islands will shatter all restraint. We will abandon all restraint and make the Persian Gulf run with the blood of invaders.
**[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77477478/%D9%82%D8%A7%D9%84%DB%8C%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%81-%D9%87%D8%B1%DA%AF%D9%88%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%AA%D8%B9%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%D8%A7%DA%A9-%D8%AC%D8%B2%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D9%88%DB%8C%D8%B4%D9%86%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%AA%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D9%85%DB%8C], ''Qalibaf'' (12 March 2026)

*The [[United States]] is the largest Oil Producer in the World, by far, so when oil prices go up, we make a lot of money. BUT, of far greater interest and importance to me, as President, is stoping an evil Empire, Iran, from having Nuclear Weapons, and destroying the [[Middle East]] and, indeed, the World. I won’t ever let that happen!
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/iran-us-war-live-updates-supreme-leader-trump-oil-b2937272.html &quot;Iran-US war latest: Supreme leader statement threatens fresh attacks after UK base in Iraq hit by drone swarm&quot;], ''The Independent'' (12 March 2026)

*As long as America and Zionist exist humankind will not see quiet. To establish peace they must be destroyed
**Aytallah Khatami Imam Tehran [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77485962/%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%AA%D9%85%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%B5%D9%84%D8%AD-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B1%DA%98%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%B5%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%88%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%AF ][https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77487036/%D8%AA%D8%A7-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D9%88-%D8%B1%DA%98%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%B5%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%88%D9%86%DB%8C-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%86%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%B4%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D8%B1%D9%88%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%B4-%D9%86%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%D8%AF-%D8%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF] (13 March 2026)
*Just run!
**IRGC hebrew text [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77499999/%D8%AE%D8%B7%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%B3%D8%A7%DA%A9%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%B2%D9%85%DB%8C%D9%86-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B4%D8%BA%D8%A7%D9%84%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D9%84%D8%A7-%D9%81%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%B1-%DA%A9%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF ] (14 March 2026)
*If Americans do heliborne operation on taking over Khark Island we will attack their bases and take prisoners
**FM Manouchehr Motaki Iran negotiators [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77500152/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%AA%DA%A9%DB%8C-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7%DB%8C%DB%8C-%D9%87%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%D9%86%D8%AF-%D8%AC%D8%B2%DB%8C%D8%B1%D9%87-%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%B1%DA%A9-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B4%D8%BA%D8%A7%D9%84-%DA%A9%D9%86%D9%86%D8%AF ] (14 March 2026)
*If the [[2026 FIFA World Cup|World Cup]] games are in [[Mexico]] maybe we will go
**Minister of youth &amp; sport [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77499588/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%88%D8%B2%DB%8C%D8%B1-%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%B2%D8%B4-%D9%81%DB%8C%D9%81%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%DB%8C%D8%B2%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%87%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7], (14 March 2026)
*Countries in region are supposed to pay reparations for killing Khamenei. 
**VP Mohammed Mokhber [https://www.mehrnews.com/news/6774791/%D9%85%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1-%DA%A9%D8%B4%D9%88%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%85%D9%86%D8%B7%D9%82%D9%87-%D9%85%DA%A9%D9%84%D9%81-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AC%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AE%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%AA-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%86%D8%AF] (14 March 2026)
*When I feel it. When I feel it in my bones.
**[[President Trump]] quoted when asked when the war will end: [https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/trump-says-iran-war-will-end-when-i-feel-it-in-my-bones_uk_69b57775e4b09d87d0277fa2 &quot;Trump Says Iran War Will End 'When I Feel It In My Bones'&quot;], ''Huffington Post'' (14 March 2026)
*It's a little unfair. You win a war, but they have no right to be doing what they're doing.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c70k29914q4o &quot;Surge in US petrol prices deepens political peril for Trump over Iran&quot;], ''BBC News'' (17 March 2026)
*Because of the fact that we have had such Military Success, we no longer “need,” or desire, the NATO Countries’ assistance — WE NEVER DID! Likewise, Japan, Australia, or South Korea. In fact, speaking as President of the United States of America, by far the Most Powerful Country Anywhere in the World, WE DO NOT NEED THE HELP OF ANYONE! 
**[https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116245182325726375 Donald Trump on Truth Social] (17 Mar 2026)

*[[Israel]], out of anger for what has taken place in the Middle East, has violently lashed out at a major facility known as South Pars Gas Field in Iran. A relatively small section of the whole has been hit. The United States knew nothing about this particular attack, and the country of [[Qatar]] was in no way, shape, or form, involved with it, nor did it have any idea that it was going to happen. Unfortunately, Iran did not know this, or any of the pertinent facts pertaining to the South Pars attack, and unjustifiably and unfairly attacked a portion of Qatar’s LNG Gas facility. NO MORE ATTACKS WILL BE MADE BY ISRAEL pertaining to this extremely important and valuable South Pars Field unless Iran unwisely decides to attack a very innocent, in this case, Qatar - In which instance the United States of America, with or without the help or consent of Israel, will massively blow up the entirety of the South Pars Gas Field at an amount of strength and power that Iran has never seen or witnessed before. I do not want to authorize this level of violence and destruction because of the long term implications that it will have on the future of Iran, but if Qatar’s LNG is again attacked, I will not hesitate to do so. 
**[[Donald Trump]] on [https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116253388303392718 Truth Social] (Mar 19, 2026)

* Iranian missiles do not differentiate between Muslim and Christian and Jew and whichever religion, they're out there to kill anybody because they feel everybody who doesn't accept their belief is an infidel.
**Israeli President [[Isaac Herzog]] following the 2026 Beit Awwa salon strike in the West Bank. (Mar 19, 2026)[https://www.jpost.com/middle-east/iran-news/article-890479]

*We are getting very close to meeting our objectives as we consider winding down our great Military efforts in the Middle East with respect to the Terrorist Regime of [[Iran]]: (1) Completely degrading Iranian Missile Capability, Launchers, and everything else pertaining to them. (2) Destroying Iran’s Defense Industrial Base. (3) Eliminating their Navy and Air Force, including Anti Aircraft Weaponry. (4) Never allowing Iran to get even close to Nuclear Capability, and always being in a position where the U.S.A. can quickly and powerfully react to such a situation, should it take place. (5) Protecting, at the highest level, our Middle Eastern Allies, including [[Israel]], [[Saudi Arabia]], [[Qatar]], the [[United Arab Emirates]], [[w:Bahrain|Bahrain]], [[Kuwait]], and others. The [[w:Hormuz Strait|Hormuz Strait]] will have to be guarded and policed, as necessary, by other Nations who use it — The United States does not! 
**[[Donald Trump]] on [https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116263563453969628 Truth Social] (Mar 20, 2026)

[[File:Strait of Hormuz.jpg|thumb|Strait of Hormuz]]
*If Iran doesn’t FULLY OPEN, WITHOUT THREAT, the [[w:Strait of Hormuz|Strait of Hormuz]], within 48 HOURS from this exact point in time, the United States of America will hit and obliterate their various POWER PLANTS, STARTING WITH THE BIGGEST ONE FIRST!
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/clyxv87zwwpo &quot;Trump at a crossroads as US weighs tough options in Iran&quot;], ''BBC News'' (21 March 2026)

*In difficult times like these, when events seem both confused and confusing, [[Mark Twain]]’s “broken fragments of antique legends” can remind us of historical analogies like the collapse of the power and influence of [[Great Britain]] or of the [[Soviet Union]] that can help us understand how the past often whispers to the present — as it indeed seems to be doing these days in the [[Strait of Hormuz]].
** [[Alfred W. McCoy]], [https://inkstickmedia.com/how-the-iran-war-gave-trump-his-very-own-suez-crisis/ &quot;How the Iran War Gave Trump His Very Own Suez Crisis&quot;] (21 March 2026)

*No countries that are [[North Atlantic Treaty Organization|NATO]] allies that have been bullied by Trump are going to be willing… to go on this suicide mission for someone who is an asshole to them.
**Adam Mockler from [[w:MeidasTouch|MeidasTouch]] quoted telling [[CNN]] in [https://inews.co.uk/news/world/trump-iran-gamble-failed-americas-allies-pay-it-4309972 &quot;Trump’s Iran gamble has failed – and America’s allies will pay for it&quot;], ''iNews'' (March 22, 2026)

*Maybe me. Me and the ayatollah, whoever the ayatollah is, whoever the next ayatollah is. There’s automatically a regime change, but we’re dealing with some people that I find to be very reasonable, very solid. The people within know who they are. They’re very respected, and maybe one of them will be exactly what we’re looking for.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted on who would control the [[w:Strait of Hormuz|Strait of Hormuz]] in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/trump-ayatollah-joint-leadership-hormuz-b2944024.html &quot;Trump proposes extraordinary ‘joint leadership’ of Iran alongside ayatollah&quot;], ''Independent'' (23 March 2026)

*No negotiations have been held with the US, and fake news is used to manipulate the financial and oil markets and escape the quagmire in which the US and Israel are trapped.
**[[w:Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf|Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf]] quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/trump-ayatollah-joint-leadership-hormuz-b2944024.html &quot;Trump proposes extraordinary ‘joint leadership’ of Iran alongside ayatollah&quot;], ''Independent'' (23 March 2026)

*Because they’re going to make a deal. They did something yesterday that was amazing, actually. They gave us a present. And the present arrived today. And it was a very big present worth a tremendous amount of money. And I’m not going to tell you what that present is, but it was a very significant prize.… That meant one thing to me—we’re dealing with the right people.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted on negotiations with [[Iran]] in [https://www.newsbreak.com/the-new-republic-1991457/4556482986909-trump-says-he-changed-his-mind-after-iran-gave-very-big-present &quot;Trump Says He Changed His Mind After Iran Gave 'Very Big Present'&quot;], ''Newsbreak'' (24 March 2026)

*Has the level of your inner ⁠struggle reached the stage ⁠of you negotiating with yourself?
**Iranian Ebrahim Zolfaqari's rhetorical question to Donald Trump quoted in [https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2026/3/25/us-talking-to-itself-says-iran-as-trump-claims-wheels-of-diplomacy-turning &quot;US talking to itself, says Iran as Trump claims wheels of diplomacy turning&quot;], ''Al Jazeera'' (25 March 2026)

* The enemy signals negotiation in public, while in secret it plots a ground attack. Our firing continues. Our missiles are in place. Our determination and faith have increased. [Iranian forces] are waiting for the arrival of American troops on the ground to set them on fire and punish their regional partners for ever.
** Iranian parliament speaker, [[w:Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf|Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf]], quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/mar/29/iran-accuses-us-plotting-ground-assault-publicly-seeking-talks &quot;Iran accuses US of plotting ground assault while publicly seeking talks&quot;], ''Guardian'' (29 March 2026)

*This is our God: Jesus, king of peace, who rejects war, whom no one can use to justify war. He does not listen to the prayers of those who wage war, but rejects them.
* ([[Isaiah]] 1:15) ‘Even though you make many prayers, I will not listen: your hands are full of blood.’
**[[Pope Leo XIV]] quoting ''Book of Isaiah'', reported in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cje4x38q8xqt?post=asset%3A58d1f907-b13b-443a-b413-d7741b63b566 &quot;'Hands full of blood': Pope Leo seemingly criticises those involved in war&quot;], ''BBC News'' (29 March 2026)

===Apr 2026===
[[File:Gas prices Sonoma, California April 7 2026.jpg|thumb|Trump: We will consider when Hormuz Strait is open, free, and clear. Until then, we are blasting Iran into oblivion or, as they say, back to the Stone Ages.]]
*We're finishing the job, and I think within maybe two weeks, maybe a couple of days longer, to do the job. But we want to knock out every single thing they have. Now, it's possible that we'll make a deal before that.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://newsroom.ap.org/editorial-photos-videos/detail?itemid=ad13f6002bde4e30befd5495f58499d9 &quot;Trump: US could leave Iran in 2 to 3 weeks, securing Strait of Hormuz is 'not for us'&quot;], ''AP News'' (Apr 1, 2026)

*We will consider [a ceasefire] when [[w:Hormuz Strait|Hormuz Strait]] is open, free, and clear. Until then, we are blasting [[Iran]] into oblivion or, as they say, back to the Stone Ages.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-iran-speech-stone-age-b2950116.html &quot;Trump threatens both Iran and NATO allies ahead of primetime address on war: ‘Back to the Stone Ages’&quot;], ''Independent'' (Apr 1, 2026)

*If hostility escalates, the entire region will turn into hell for you; the illusion of defeating the Islamic Republic of Iran will become a quagmire into which you will sink.
**[[w:Ebrahim Zolfaghari|Ebrahim Zolfaghari]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c5y90jl8veyo US and &quot;Iran trade threats to unleash 'hell' as search for missing US airman continues&quot;], ''BBC News'' (4 April 2026)

*In the attempt to try to prevent Iran from developing a weapon of mass destruction, the US handed Iran a weapon of mass disruption.
**Ali Vaez, quoted in [https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/us-intelligence-warns-iran-unlikely-ease-hormuz-strait-chokehold-soon-sources-2026-04-03/ Reuters]

*Tuesday will be Power Plant Day, and Bridge Day, all wrapped up in one, in Iran. There will be nothing like it!!! Open the Fuckin' Strait, you crazy bastards, or you'll be living in Hell - JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah. President DONALD J. TRUMP
**[https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvg0q6wdzp1o Trump issues expletive-laden threat to Iran over Hormuz Strait blockage], ''BBC News'' (5 April 2026)

* Subject to the Islamic Republic of Iran agreeing to the COMPLETE, IMMEDIATE, and SAFE OPENING of the Strait of Hormuz, I agree to suspend the bombing and attack of Iran for a period of two weeks
** [[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/apr/07/trump-iran-war-ceasefire US and Iran agree to provisional ceasefire as Tehran says it will reopen strait of Hormuz], ''The Guardian'' (8 April 2026 )

* If attacks against Iran are halted, our Powerful Armed Forces will cease their defensive operations. For a period of two weeks, safe passage through the Strait of Hormuz will be possible via coordination with Iran's Armed Forces and with due consideration of technical limitations.
** Iran’s foreign minister, [[w:Abbas Araghchi|Abbas Araghchi]] quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/apr/07/trump-iran-war-ceasefire &quot;US and Iran agree to provisional ceasefire as Tehran says it will reopen strait of Hormuz&quot;], ''The Guardian'' (8 April 2026 )

* The Iranians don’t seem to realize they have no cards, other than a short term extortion of the World by using International Waterways. The only reason they are alive today is to negotiate!
** [[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/apr/10/jd-vance-warns-iran-against-trying-to-play-the-us-in-peace-talks &quot;JD Vance warns Iran against trying to ‘play’ the US in peace talks&quot;], ''The Guardian'' (10 April 2026 )

*The simple question is, do we see a fundamental commitment of will for the Iranians not to develop a nuclear weapon, not just now, not just two years from now, but for the long term. We haven’t seen that yet.
**[[JD Vance]]  quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/iran-us-peace-talks-vance-trump-b2956013.html &quot;Why the US-Iran peace talks failed after just one day – and what happens next&quot;], ''The Independent'' (12 April 2026)

* We’re going to clean out the strait.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/5827840-trump-navy-strait-hormuz-blockade/ &quot;US military will ‘clean out’ Strait of Hormuz: Trump&quot;], ''The Hill'' (12 April 2026)

* We’re very disappointed with [[NATO]], we’re very, very disappointed that they didn’t come. Now, they want to come and they want to help with the strait.
**Trump quoted in [https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/5827840-trump-navy-strait-hormuz-blockade/ &quot;US military will ‘clean out’ Strait of Hormuz: Trump&quot;], ''The Hill'' (12 April 2026)

[[File:Straße von Hormuz.jpg|thumb|Trump - Iran has agreed to never close the Strait of Hormuz again]]

* In line with the ceasefire in Lebanon, the passage for all commercial vessels through [the] [[w:Strait of Hormuz|Strait of Hormuz]] is declared completely open for the remaining period of ceasefire, on the coordinated route as already announced by Ports and Maritime Organisation of the Islamic Rep. of Iran.
** Iran Foreign Minister [[w:Abbas Araghchi|Abbas Araghchi]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cqxdg17yr2wt Iran says Strait of Hormuz is 'open' as Trump says US blockade will continue until deal reached], ''BBC News'' (Apr 17, 2026)

* [[Iran]] has agreed to never close the Strait of Hormuz again. It will no longer be used as a weapon against the World!
** [https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116420562510387829 Donald Trump on Truth Social] (Apr 17, 2026)

* Based on the fact that the Government of [[Iran]] is seriously fractured, not unexpectedly so and, upon the request of Field Marshal Asim Munir, and Prime Minister [[w:Shehbaz Sharif|Shehbaz Sharif]], of [[Pakistan]], we have been asked to hold our Attack on the Country of Iran until such time as their leaders and representatives can come up with a unified proposal. I have therefore directed our Military to continue the Blockade and, in all other respects, remain ready and able, and will therefore extend the Ceasefire until such time as their proposal is submitted, and discussions are concluded, one way or the other.
** [[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cx297218m9vt &quot;Iran says reopening Strait of Hormuz 'impossible' if US blockade continues&quot;], ''BBC News'' (Apr 22, 2026)

* We are all 'Iranian' and 'revolutionary,' and with the iron unity of the nation and government, with complete obedience to the Supreme Leader. We will make the aggressor criminal regret his actions.
** Iran's President {{w|Masoud Pezeshkian}} quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c0mjev4kn9jt?page=2 &quot;Trump says Israel-Lebanon ceasefire extended by three weeks, but he won't 'rush' Iran deal&quot;], ''BBC News'' (Apr 24, 2026)

===May 2026===
*Iran has taken some shots at unrelated Nations with respect to the Ship Movement, PROJECT FREEDOM, including a South Korean Cargo Ship. Perhaps it’s time for South Korea to come and join the mission!{{Pbri}}We’ve shot down seven small Boats or, as they like to call them, “fast” Boats. It’s all they have left. Other than the South Korean Ship, there has been, at this moment, no damage going through the Strait. Secretary of War Pete Hegseth and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Dan Caine, will have a News Conference tomorrow morning.
** [https://truthsocial.com/@realdonaldtrump Trump Truth Social Truth], 4 May 2026 
*Countries from all over the World. almost all of which are not involved in the Middle Eastern dispute going on so visibly, and violently, for all to see, have asked the United States if we could help free up their Ships. which are locked up in the Strait of Hormuz, on something which they have absolutely nothing to do with - They are merely neutral and innocent bystanders! For the good of Iran, the Middle East, and the United States, we have told these Countries that we will guide their Ships safely out of these restricted Waterways, so that they can freely and ably get on with their business. Again, these are Ships from areas of the World that are not in any way involved with that which is currently taking place in the Middle East. I have told my Representatives to inform them that we will use best efforts to get their Ships and Crews safely out of the Strait. In all cases, they said they will not be returning until the area becomes safe for navigation, and everything else. This process, '''Project Freedom''', will begin Monday morning, Middle East time. I am fully aware that my Representatives are having very positive discussions with the Country of Iran, and that these discussions could lead to something very positive for all. The Ship movement is merely meant to free up people, companies, and Countries that have done absolutely nothing wrong - They are victims of circumstance. This is a Humanitarian gesture on behalf of the United States, Middle Eastern Countries but, in particular, the Country of Iran. Many of these Ships are running low on food, and everything else necessary for large scale crews to stay on board in a healthy and sanitary manner. I think it would go a long way in showing Goodwill on behalf of all of those who have been fighting so strenuously over the last number of months. If, in any way, this Humanitarian process is interfered with, that interference will, unfortunately, have to be dealt with forcefully. Thank you for your attention to this matter!
**[https://truthsocial.com/@realdonaldtrump Trump Truth Social Truth]
*Quranic verdict of Zarif and Rouhani is execution definitely indeed
**Qasemian[https://www.khabaronline.ir/news/2213690/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%82%D8%A7%D8%B3%D9%85%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AD%DA%A9%D9%85-%D9%82%D8%B1%D8%A2%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D8%B8%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%81-%D9%88-%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%AD%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D9%82%D8%B7%D8%B9%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B9%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%85 ]19:05, (3 May 2026)
* Do you take out your wife, sister and wife so that unmarried men can look? There is a law, the parliament has approved it. I advise these women who come out without hijab: gather yourself. If these people decide, they will destroy your life. Netanyahu kills people, you beat people's opinion. They come again and appear in the square and street. Will you bring your sister and this woman so that the eyes of non-mahram men will fall on her situation?
**[https://www.khabaronline.ir/news/2213662/%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%87-%D8%B1%D8%B4%D8%AA-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%85-%D8%AA%D8%B5%D9%85%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%A8%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AF-%D8%AF%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%B2%DA%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%A8%DB%8C-%D8%AD%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D9%87%D8%A7 Imam Juma Rasht] (3 May 2026)

* Operation Epic Fury is concluded. We achieved the objectives of that operation.
** [[Marco Rubio]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c1wz2ld4535t US &quot;Secretary of State Marco Rubio says offensive stage of Iran war is 'over'&quot;], ''BBC News'' (4 May 2026)

* Based on the request of [[Pakistan]] and other Countries, the tremendous Military Success that we have had during the Campaign against the Country of Iran and, additionally, the fact that Great Progress has been made toward a Complete and Final Agreement with Representatives of Iran, we have mutually agreed that, while the Blockade will remain in full force and effect, Project Freedom (The Movement of Ships through the Strait of Hormuz) will be paused for a short period of time to see whether or not the Agreement can be finalized and signed. 
** Trump quoted in  [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c152zyj0599t &quot;Trump says US will pause operation to guide ships through Strait of Hormuz&quot;], ''BBC News'' (6 May 2026)

* We have such a great military and great navy. And they were going straight through, and they said, “Turn your ship around!”. And there was no response. “Turn your ship around! Evacuate your engine room immediately!” And you see all these guys running out of there. Now, they’re five miles away — in one shot, into the engine room, blew up the engine room; the ship stopped, and they used tugboats. And then we landed on top of it — on top of everything else — we then land on top of it. And '''we took over the ship; we took over the cargo, took over the oil. It’s a very profitable business'''. Who would have thought we were doing that? '''We’re like pirates. We’re sort of like pirates'''. But we’re not playing games.
** Trump quoted in [https://geopoliticaleconomy.com/2026/05/09/trump-pirates-iran-ships-china-us-sanctions/ Trump boasts ‘we’re like pirates’, seizing Iran’s ships, as China challenges US sanctions]. Geopolitical Economy Report. (9 May 2026)

* We will never bow our heads before the enemy, and if talk of dialogue or negotiation arises, it does not mean surrender or retreat.
** Iranian President [[w:Masoud Pezeshkian|Masoud Pezeshkian]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/clypgz9e5pmo &quot;Trump calls Iran response to US proposal to end war 'totally unacceptable&quot;], ''BBC News'' (10 May 2026)

* 1. They martyred the great and devoted leader of the Islamic Revolution; 2. No Muslim country came to Iran aid. What sort of Islam is this .. what kind of Muslimhoodness is this; 3.Iran continues to resist the big and small Satan (America and Israel); 4. On one side of today's battle are America and Israel, and on the other side are Muslim Iran and the resistance forces. Which side are you; 5. Think about the future of the Islamic world. You know that America is not loyal to you and Israel is your enemy. Think for a minute about yourself and the future of the region;  6. Unity of the Islamic Ummah with all its power can provide and guarantee the security, excellence and independence of countries for everyone
**letter to 6 countries Larijani[https://fa.alalam.ir/news/7428293/%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%87-%DB%B6-%D8%A8%D9%86%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D8%B7%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D9%85%D8%B3%D9%84%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AC%D9%87%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%88-%D8%AF%D9%88%D9%84%D8%AA-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%85%DB%8C ]
*If you want Internet, pack and get up, leave your things, go to Afghanistan, live where there is Internet.
**IRIB anchor man [https://fararu.com/fa/news/970808/%D8%B4%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B2%DB%8C-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86%D8%AA%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AA-5g-%D8%A7%D9%81%D8%BA%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D9%88%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%87%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AC%D8%A7-%D8%B2%D9%86%D8%AF%DA%AF%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF ]p
*Like a rogue gang, the Iranian regime is pillaging resources that rightfully belong to the Iraqi people. Treasury will not stand idly by as Iran's military exploits Iraqi oil to fund terrorism against the United States and our partners.
**[https://twitter.com/SecScottBessent/status/2052447601304178863?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw Bessent]
*God's order to fight Fitne. Israel is to be wiped out. Division causes failure against enemies 
**Imam Karaj[https://www.imna.ir/news/971477/%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%87-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AC-%D8%A7%D8%AE%D8%AA%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%81-%D8%A7%D9%81%DA%A9%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%B2%D9%85%DB%8C%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%B4%DA%A9%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D8%AF%D8%B4%D9%85%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA ][https://www.didbaniran.ir/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-3/284228-%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%87-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AC-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%AE%D8%AF%D8%A7-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%DA%A9%D9%87-%D8%AA%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%B1%D9%81%D8%AA%D9%86-%D9%81%D8%AA%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%A8%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AF%D8%B4%D9%85%D9%86-%D8%A7%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%B2%D9%87-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B2%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%B2%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%AF%D8%B4-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D9%86%D8%AF%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%85 ]
*Report of high Damage of internet blackout from government is greatly exaggerated.
**[https://www.zoomit.ir/iran-news/459800-denies-exaggerated-internet-outage-claims/] MP of Tehran 18:28, 15 May 2026 (UTC)~

*Trump is hopeless and desperate he went to begging China for no result. He will not be satisfied until Iran is destroyed.
**[https://www.khabaronline.ir/news/2219513/%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%87-%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%84-%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%BE-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AA%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%B3-%D8%A8%D9%87-%DA%86%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%86%D8%AA%DB%8C%D8%AC%D9%87-%D9%86%DA%AF%D8%B1%D9%81%D8%AA Ayatollah Imam Ardebil] (15 May 2026)

*China encourages the US and Iran to continue resolving their differences and disputes, including the nuclear issue, through negotiations, and advocates the swift reopening of the Strait of Hormuz on the basis of maintaining a ceasefire
**Chinese FM Wang in [https://aa.com.tr/en/asia-pacific/chinese-top-diplomat-urges-diplomacy-on-iran-after-trump-xi-summit/3938851] (15 May 2026)

*The most important issue today is trust. We cannot trust the Americans in any way
**[https://en.mehrnews.com/news/244536/Araghchi-holds-presser-in-New-Delhi], Iraqchi (15 May 2026)

*We’ve taken out much of what we’d have to do, probably another two weeks, two weeks, maybe three weeks I’m very torn on it, because they lost 42,000 people in the first two weeks. I don’t really want to see that You can’t have an unarmed population against people with AK-47s The Iranian people have to have guns and I think they’re getting some guns.


As soon as they have guns, they’ll fight like as good as anybody there is.
**President Trump 07:48, 22 May 2026 (UTC)~~[https://www.iranintl.com/en/202605057012 ]
*They can either agree to a piece of paper that is satisfactory to the United States, or they can face a punishment from our military, the likes of which has not been seen in modern history. That’s the choice that they face
**Miller [https://unb.com.bd/category/World/trump-official-warns-iran-of-unprecedented-military-action-over-deal-holdout/186431 ] 07:48, 22 May 2026 (UTC)~

*Our American issue solves when they surely get the powerfulness we have , and they can't do anything against us
**Mohamed Mkokhber[https://www.khabaronline.ir/news/2222394/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%AA%D8%AD%D9%84%DB%8C%D9%84-%D9%85%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D8%AF%D8%B1%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B1%D9%87-%D8%B2%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AD%D9%84-%D8%B4%D8%AF%D9%86-%D9%85%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%A6%D9%84-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7 ] 07:48, 22 May 2026 (UTC)~~
* Matchmaking booths had been set up at rallies in Tehran, allowing young men and women to register for introductions under what organizers call “easy marriage.
**Fars[https://www.iranintl.com/en/202605215847 ]
*It's a possibility Iran we can go around ceasefire 
**[https://www.khabaronline.ir/news/2222363/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B9%D8%B6%D9%88-%DA%A9%D9%85%DB%8C%D8%B3%DB%8C%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D9%85%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%85%D8%AC%D9%84%D8%B3-%D8%A7%D8%AD%D8%AA%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%84-%D8%B9%D8%A8%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A2%D8%AA%D8%B4-%D8%A8%D8%B3-%D8%A7%D8%B2 ] National security Islamic Cunsultative Assembly MP 07:48, 22 May 2026 (UTC)~
*Trying to prohibit Iranians in LA from bringing the Lion and Sun flag into the stadium is like trying to prevent Americans from bringing the U.S. flag into an American stadium. It would cause mass unrest.

“World Cup matches best illustrate the passion Iranian-Americans feel for their homeland and the contempt they feel toward the Iranian government. Waving the Lion and Sun flag is simultaneously a show of support for the national team and a protest against the regime
**[https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/7288376/2026/05/19/world-cup-fifa-iran-flag/ NYTimes] 07:48, 22 May 2026 (UTC)~~

*This is not good timing for me, I have a thing called Iran and other things
**Trump 07:48, 22 May 2026 (UTC)~ [https://www.iranintl.com/en/202605214172#:~:text=US%20President%20Donald%20Trump%20said,called%20Iran%20and%20other%20things.%E2%80%9D ]
== See also ==
* [[Iran]]
* [[Israel]]
* [[Middle East]]
* [[Second presidency of Donald Trump]]
* [[Might makes right]]

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Commons category}}
* [https://www.bbc.com BBC coverage of 2026 Iran conflict]
* [https://www.aljazeera.com/news Al Jazeera: Iran crisis coverage]

[[Category:2026]]
[[Category:2020s in Iran]]
[[Category:Wars and battles]]
[[Category:Arab-Israeli conflict]]</text>
      <sha1>fjtddwzvggyi2r2qgk75n6kak59jznj</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944144</id>
      <parentid>3944131</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T08:47:05Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>C.J. Griffin</username>
        <id>862699</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Restoring quote deleted without reason.</comment>
      <origin>3944144</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="81021" sha1="brk8s9fuf01ws2pa8p8fqssgdu13co5" xml:space="preserve">[
[[File:Strait of Hormuz.jpg|thumb|Blockade Plus : Sustain the blockade and accompanying economic warfare to destabilize the regime’s hold on the state; remake the world in America’s energy dominance image to mitigate long-term price impacts while undermining China’s global ambition to defeat the United States; and order the US military to forge a path through the Strait of Hormuz to restore freedom of navigation [https://nypost.com/2026/05/01/opinion/heres-how-to-crush-tehran-in-three-moves/ ]]]
[File:Pirate Flag of Jack Rackham.svg|thumb|We took over the ship; we took over the cargo, took over the oil. It’s a very profitable business . . . We’re like pirates. We’re sort of like pirates. - Trump[https://geopoliticaleconomy.com/2026/05/09/trump-pirates-iran-ships-china-us-sanctions/]]]

[[File:Pirate Flag of Jack Rackham.svg|thumb|We took over the ship; we took over the cargo, took over the oil. It’s a very profitable business . . . We’re like pirates. We’re sort of like pirates. - Trump[https://geopoliticaleconomy.com/2026/05/09/trump-pirates-iran-ships-china-us-sanctions/]]]

[[File:Flag of the United States Secretary of the Army.svg|thumb|God is good~Hegseth[https://www.cnn.com/2026/04/06/politics/hegseth-trump-iran-war-easter-christianity-analysis ]]][[File:TrinityDetonation1945GIF.gif|thumb|If there's no ceasefire, you're just going to have to look at one big glow coming out of Iran. President DJT[https://www.skynews.com.au/world-news/united-states/one-big-glow-coming-out-of-iran-trumps-wild-threat-as-he-hints-peace-deal-talks-might-collapse/video/8a668c00deaff3d27568bc78441e4a29 ]]]
[[File:Seal_of_the_Army_of_the_Guardians_of_the_Islamic_Revolution.svg|thumb|Having an atomic bomb is used to scare the enemy, and we should not use this bomb on the people in any way, unless it happens.[http://didbaniran.ir/fa/tiny/news-281553 Nataj]]][[File:Donald Trump OEF.jpg|thumb|Trump: &quot;I think the war is very complete, pretty much&quot; (Mar 9th)]]
On 28 February 2026, [[Israel]] and the [[United States]] launched a '''[[w:2026 Iran War|coordinated joint attack]]''' on multiple sites in [[Iran]], sparking a major conflict. The operation, codenamed '''Operation Roaring Lion''' and '''Operation Epic Fury''' by the [[w:United States Department of Defense|U.S. Department of Defense]], targeted senior Iranian officials, military command centers, and key strategic facilities, with the declared aim of [[w:regime change|regime change]]. The attack included the [[w:Assassination of Ali Khamenei|assassination]] of Iran’s second [[w:Supreme Leader of Iran|Supreme Leader]], [[Ali Khamenei]].

The strikes began in the cities of [[Tehran]], [[w:Isfahan|Isfahan]], [[w:Qom|Qom]], [[w:Karaj|Karaj]], and [[w:Kermanshah|Kermanshah]]. Several Iranian government figures were killed, including [[w:Ali Shamkhani|Ali Shamkhani]], the secretary of the [[w:Supreme National Security Council|Supreme National Security Council]]. Witnesses reported explosions across multiple regions. Israeli Defense Minister [[w:Israel Katz|Israel Katz]] confirmed that the [[w:Israel Defense Forces|Israel Defense Forces]] had conducted the strikes. [[w:Donald Trump|Donald Trump]], in a video posted on [[w:Truth Social|Truth Social]], announced that the United States had joined Israel in launching attacks against Iran.

In retaliation, Iranian forces launched dozens of [[w:Unmanned aerial vehicles in the Iranian military|drones]] and [[w:ballistic missiles|ballistic missiles]] across the [[w:Persian Gulf|Persian Gulf]], targeting Israel as well as U.S. military installations in [[Jordan]], [[Kuwait]], [[w:Bahrain|Bahrain]], [[Qatar]], [[Iraq]], [[Saudi Arabia]], and the [[United Arab Emirates]].
[[File:Khamenei last end year 5458884.jpg|thumb|The newly supreme appointed leader should deliver message of the peace to world and declare new era in Iran , a historic neccessity to free political prisoners and declare public general amnesty for those that haven't collaborated in killing Iranians and/or 2026 Iran massacres [https://www.khabarfoori.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-59/3198657-%D8%AC%D8%A8%D9%87%D9%87-%D8%A7%D8%B5%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%AD%D8%A7%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AA%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1%DB%8C-%D8%AC%D8%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AD%D8%A7%D9%88%DB%8C-%D9%BE%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%B5%D9%84%D8%AD-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AC%D9%87%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A2%D8%BA%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%AF%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%B2%D9%87-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B4%D8%AF-%D8%A7%D8%B9%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%B9%D9%81%D9%88-%D8%B9%D9%85%D9%88%D9%85%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D9%84%DB%8C%D9%87-%DA%A9%D8%B3%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D9%87-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%B4%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%A2%D9%84%D9%88%D8%AF%D9%87-%D9%86%D8%B4%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A2%D8%B2%D8%A7%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D9%87%D9%85%D9%87-%D8%B2%D9%86%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-%D9%81%D8%B9%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%D8%AF%D9%86%DB%8C-%DB%8C%DA%A9-%D8%B6%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%AA-%D9%85%D9%84%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AE%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA ]]][[File:Mojtaba Khamenei 2019.jpg|thumb|another Khamenei is coming.~[https://www.khabarfoori.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-59/3198781-%D8%AA%D8%A7%DB%8C%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%AA%D9%84%D9%88%DB%8C%D8%AD%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AA%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%A2%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%84%D9%87-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%AC%D8%AA%D8%A8%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%B9%D9%86%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D8%A8%D8%B9%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D9%88%D8%B3%D8%B7-%D8%B9%D8%B6%D9%88-%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1%DB%8C QomImam]]][[File:Flag of the Cooperation Council for the Arab States of the Gulf.svg|thumb|Trump is hysterical and struggling with last final breaths. Americans are at the end of their rope. Enemy is caught in desperate swamp...Netanyahu pumped up US to attack, we will exact vengeance...Trump you are a retarded person, ...we are funneling through pass of war,... Iranians have civilization, countries of region are acting like cuckold pimps... Trump says some people within of our military have defected give us 2 of these people names to us[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77421052/%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%BE-%D8%A2%D8%AF%D9%85-%D8%B9%D9%82%D8%A8-%D8%A7%D9%81%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%DA%AF%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF ~Larijani][https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77421726/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D9%86%D9%81%D8%B3-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D8%AE%D8%B1-%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%BE-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9-%D8%B4%D8%AF%D9%87-%D9%88 ][https://farsnews.ir/mohammadreza_dehghan/1772912586911483130/%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%A7-%DA%AF%D8%B1%D9%81%D8%AA%D9%86-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%B3%D8%B1-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D9%86%D9%85%DB%8C-%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%85 ]]][[File:State_flag_of_Iran_(1964%E2%80%931980).svg|thumb|Seventeen 17 cities of Caucasian Iran was separated from Iran by Tsar Russia. We are reborn from ashes of Mongol invasion and Timurid.[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77413081/%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%AF%DA%AF%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D9%88%D9%86-%D9%88-%D8%AE%D8%A7%DA%A9 ]]]

== Quotes ==
&lt;small&gt;Please add quotes in chronological order&lt;/small&gt;
===Feb 2026===
*Finally, to the great, proud people of Iran, I say tonight that the hour of your freedom is at hand… Stay sheltered. Don't leave your home. It's very dangerous outside. Bombs will be dropping everywhere . when we are finished, take over your  government. It will be yours to take. This will be probably your only chance for
**Trump [https://www.pbs.org/newshour/world/read-trumps-full-statement-on-iran-attack PRESIDENT TRUMP's message to the great people of Iran ..]
*firm of heart against the disbelievers, compassionate among themselves.
**Khamenei quoted Quran[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77473280/%D8%A3%D8%B4%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%A1-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D9%84%DA%A9%D9%81%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%B1%D8%AD%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%A1-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%D9%87%D9%85 ]
*There's a special place in hell reserved for pro-Trump Iranians.
**IRGC Mashre Dimitri Lascaris [https://www.shahrekhabar.com/news/177328434067132 ]
*400,000 armed people are ready to go to revolt against the United States government system
**Gen Araste[https://www.ettelaat.com/news/140255/%DB%B4%DB%B0%DB%B0-%D9%87%D8%B2%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D9%86%D9%81%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B3%D9%84%D8%AD-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%AF%D9%87-%D9%82%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C%D9%87-%D9%86%D8%B8%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86-%DA%A9%D8%B4%D9%88%D8%B1-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%86%D8%AF#ref=shahrekhabar ]
*Russia and China will win the war not just Iran
**IRGC Gen RahimSafavi[https://www.shahrekhabar.com/news/177326496039426 ]
*We have arm around Americans neck we will be slapping it when it moves
**IRGC Gen Mohsen rezai[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77471755/%D9%85%D8%AD%D8%B3%D9%86-%D8%B1%D8%B6%D8%A7%DB%8C%DB%8C-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%BE%D8%B4%D8%AA-%DA%AF%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%86-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AA%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%D8%AF-%D8%AA%DA%A9%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%AF-%DB%8C%DA%A9 ]
*If anyone comes to street they are seen as enemies and not as protestors.All our kids are putting their finger on triggers all alleys , streets , city squares belong to Police, special units and The IRGC Basij.
**FARAJA Cmdr Gen Ahmed Radan[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77462710/%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%DA%A9%D8%B3%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AF%D8%B4%D9%85%D9%86-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A7%D9%88-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%B9%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%B6 ]
* I can see that the peace deal is within our reach... if we... allow [[diplomacy]] the space it needs to get there... I don't think any alternative to diplomacy is going to solve this problem. ...The [[heart]] of this deal is very important and ...we have captured that heart. ...[I]f the ultimate objective is to ensure forever, that Iran cannot have a [[Nuclear weapons|nuclear bomb]] ...we have cracked that problem ...[W]e are talking about zero stockpiling ...[I]f you cannot stockpile material that is enriched ...there is no way you can ...create a bomb ...and ...equally important ...full and comprehensive verification by the [[w:International Atomic Energy Agency|IAEA]] ...The current stockpiles ...will be down-blended to the lowest level possible ...and converted into fuel that ...will be irreversible. ...I am ...confident ...that even the United States inspectors will have access at some point ...if we have a deal that is respected, and fair, and ...durable ...We have agreed, in general, to discuss economic and security cooperation between Iran and its neighbors, and set up a process of dialogue that will ...start the elements of building confidence, ...a rapport, a process that can ...lead ...to an understanding on all these ...areas of concern ...on the Iranian side, and ...on the [[w:Gulf Cooperation Council|GCC]] side. ...Broad terms, ...the politics, the ...main issues ...can be agreed [upon] tomorrow. The technicalities will take some time to work... out with... the IAEA. ...[T]hat can also be done ...relatively quickly, because a lot of this ...groundwork was done years ago, and it's ...in place. ...The substantial progress... is... far more than any time before. We just need that bit of extra time to close the deal.
** {{w|Badr bin Hamad Al Busaidi}}, &quot;Oman's foreign minister says U.S.-Iran nuclear 'deal is within our reach'&quot; (Feb 27, 2026) ''{{w|Face the Nation}}'' statements prior to the US-Israeli attacks. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pg5sXQDR8NY&amp;t=38s A Youtube video source.]

*Mahdi is with us and in charge of Umma, he has through Assembly of Experts introduced Ayatallah Mojtaba Khamenei
**[https://kayhan.ir/fa/news/328896/%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%B2%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%B9%D8%AC-%D9%88%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%81%D9%82%DB%8C%D9%87-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%D8%B9%D8%B1%D9%81%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF-%D9%86%DA%A9%D8%AA%D9%87 Hossein Shariatmadare]
*The revolution will not sit down until flag of Mahdi is raised on all corners of earth
**[https://kayhan.ir/fa/news/328901/%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%86%D9%87%E2%80%8C%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D8%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%AC%D8%AA%D8%A8%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA Hossein Shariatmadare]
*To save his soldiers Trump has gone to Volodymir Zelensky president-clown of Ukraine for aid
**[https://kayhan.ir/fa/news/328922/%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%86%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%AA-%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B2%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%B4-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86-%DB%8C%DA%A9-%D8%AF%D9%84%D9%82%DA%A9-%D8%B4%D8%AF Hossein Shariatmadare]
*War's balance changed and Islamic Republic of Iran has the upper hand, there won't be a negotiatons any country who helps America will be targeted as enemy
**[https://tasnimnews.ir/fa/news/1404/12/19/3537514/%D9%85%D9%88%D9%81%D9%82%DB%8C%D8%AA-90-%D8%AF%D8%B1%D8%B5%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%AD%D9%85%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%AA-%D9%85%D9%88%D8%B4%DA%A9%DB%8C-%D9%88-%D9%BE%D9%87%D9%BE%D8%A7%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%B2%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D9%86%D9%81%D8%B9-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA ICA]
*A vessel has passed through Hormuz strait , an United States (US) military navy escorted her. In Playstation
**ICA[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77461463/%D9%88%D8%A7%DA%A9%D9%86%D8%B4-%D8%B1%D8%A6%DB%8C%D8%B3-%D9%85%D8%AC%D9%84%D8%B3-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%A7%D8%AF%D8%B9%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%AF%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%BA%DB%8C%D9%86-%D9%88%D8%B2%DB%8C%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%B1%DA%98%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%AF%D8%B1%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B1%D9%87-%D8%AA%D9%86%DA%AF%D9%87 ]
*We have only just begun our missiles have left utter ruin and destruction ,Netanyahu won't let you see
**Abbas Iraqchi[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77462291/%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%82%DA%86%DB%8C-%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%B2%D9%87-%D8%B4%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%B9-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%85 ]
*Our enemy is the stupidest idiot. Our defense system is an ideology not just a defense system, while when we hit Haifa their people were begging for car gas
**FARAJA Cmdr Gen Achmed Radan [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77460868/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AF%D8%B4%D9%85%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A7%D8%AD%D9%85%D9%82-%D8%AA%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%86-%D9%87%D8%A7-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%86%D8%AF ]
*Your children shall read Quran while sitting by the missile launchers tonight.
**Gen Mousavi [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77461610/%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D9%85%D9%88%D8%B3%D9%88%DB%8C-%D9%81%D8%B1%D8%B2%D9%86%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B4%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%B4%D8%A8-%D9%BE%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%86%DA%86%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A7-%D9%82%D8%B1%D8%A2%D9%86-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%B3%D8%B1-%D9%85%DB%8C-%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AF ]

[[File:HIMARS Support Operation Epic Fury (9564974).jpg|thumb|Operation Epic Fury]]
===Mar 2026===
*All vessels shall not pass Hormuz Strait
**IRGCN Gen Ali Tangsiri[https://www.mehrnews.com/news/6771339/%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%AA%D9%86%DA%AF%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%B1%DB%8C-%D9%87%DB%8C%DA%86-%D8%B4%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%88%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AA%D8%A8%D8%B7-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%AA%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%88%D8%B2%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AD%D9%82-%D8%B9%D8%A8%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%AA%D9%86%DA%AF%D9%87-%D9%87%D8%B1%D9%85%D8%B2 ]
*How much of a cuckold is American president, Australian police has taken our girls out of the hotel and forced and made them to apply for asylum
**Mehdi Taj Chairman National Football Federation[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77458637/%D9%85%D9%87%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%AC-%D8%AF%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%88%D8%B2%DA%AF%DB%8C-%D8%B1%D8%A6%DB%8C%D8%B3-%D8%AC%D9%85%D9%87%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%AA%D8%A7-%DA%86%D9%87-%D8%AD%D8%AF-%D8%AF%D9%85-%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D8%AC%D9%84%D9%88%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%AC ]
*We are prepared to wage war against America for next at least another 10 year
**IRGC Gen Jabari[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77449662/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%B4%D8%A7%D9%88%D8%B1-%D9%81%D8%B1%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AF%D9%87-%DA%A9%D9%84-%D8%B3%D9%BE%D8%A7%D9%87-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%B9%D9%86%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A2%D8%AF%D9%85-%D9%85%D8%B7%D9%84%D8%B9-%D9%85%DB%8C-%DA%AF%D9%88%DB%8C%D9%85-%DA%A9%D9%87 ]
*Iran is the conscious of the humanity, its real dignity and glory. It is chosen people fighting for the Victory of the Light. It it Ormuzd, Ishraq. Mahdi people.
**Dugin Alexander[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77392273/%D8%AA%D9%88%DB%8C%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%84%DA%A9%D8%B3%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%AF%D9%88%DA%AF%DB%8C%D9%86-%D9%BE%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%AF%DA%AF%DB%8C-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86 ]
*The recent war is between good and evil
**ICA[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77432191/%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D8%A7%D8%AE%DB%8C%D8%B1-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D8%AD%D9%82-%D9%88-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B7%D9%84-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA ]
*Like thunder we will strike Haifa
**IRGC Gen Seid mousavi[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77449498/%D8%B3%D8%B1%D9%84%D8%B4%DA%A9%D8%B1-%D8%B9%D8%A8%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%84%D9%87%DB%8C-%D9%87%D9%85%DA%86%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%B5%D8%A7%D8%B9%D9%82%D9%87-%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D8%AD%DB%8C%D9%81%D8%A7-%D9%88-%D9%BE%D8%A7%DB%8C%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%87-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D9%85%D9%86%D8%B7%D9%82%D9%87 ]
* Iran’s leaders before the attack had been clear that they were willing to negotiate on the nuclear question. Talks were ongoing... There had appeared to be a good basis for agreement, given... an Iranian government that... was not in a position to enrich uranium... for the foreseeable future. ...Americans ...were deeply unhappy with the results of America’s last big wars of {{w|regime change}} ...[[War in Afghanistan (2001–2021)|in Afghanistan]] [[Iraq War|and Iraq]]. At the beginning of this joint [[w:2026 Iran war|US–Israel campaign against Iran]], only about a third of Americans supported the adventure...
** Dana Allin, &quot;US politics and the war against Iran&quot; (Mar 2, 2026) [https://www.iiss.org/online-analysis/online-analysis/2026/02/the-us-israel-campaign-in-iran/ &quot;The US-Israel campaign in Iran&quot;] @[[w:International Institute for Strategic Studies|IISS]].org

*This is a war that should end it once and for all.
::[https://www.mehrnews.com/news/6764020/%D9%86%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%B2%D8%A7%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AF%D9%86%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%84-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D9%85%D9%86%D8%B7%D9%82%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%AF ICA] (Mar 2 2026)

*Our Brave and Powerful Armed Forces will avenge each and every Iranian mother, , father, and child who has been targeted by hostile forces.
**foreign minister Abbas Iraqchi[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77405403/%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%82%DA%86%DB%8C-%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%B1%D9%88%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%85%D8%B3%D9%84%D8%AD-%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AA%DA%A9-%D8%AA%DA%A9-%D8%B4%D9%87%D8%AF%D8%A7-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%D9%86%D8%AF-%DA%AF%D8%B1%D9%81%D8%AA ]

*There is no shelter you can be safe 
**[https://www.shahrekhabar.com/news/177298212045678 IRGC text]

*We will fill Americans' coffins there is no end to war unless they fully surrender.
**IRGC operations mission statement[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77389339 ]

*Trump is more than 500 Americans killed dead America first or israel first. Inshallah Khamenei killing has heavy price
**Larijani[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77384703/%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%BE-%D8%AD%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%A8-%DA%A9%D9%86%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D9%87%D9%85-%D8%A7%D9%88%D9%84-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%DB%8C%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D9%88%D9%84-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%A6%DB%8C%D9%84 ]

* Irregardless of cost. Not unlike United States of America. Same as Iran has not in past 300 years started wars, Iran is ready for long war.
** [[w:Ali Larijani|Ali Larijani]], Secretary of the Supreme National Security Council of Iran. [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77359057 Source (in Persian)]

*Now that we have baited America do not make ceasefire and/or peace we must destroy them
::Ayatallah Panahian[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77388174/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%AD%D8%AC%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B3%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%85-%D9%BE%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%A7%D8%B6%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D8%AA%D8%B4-%D8%A8%D8%B3-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%86%D8%AF-%D9%86%D9%BE%D8%B0%DB%8C%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AF ]

*From us Iranian people only President son Aga Yusuf Pezeshkian and his buddies have internet connection.
::[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77388864/%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D9%85%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%85-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%81%D9%82%D8%B7-%D8%A2%D9%82%D8%A7-%DB%8C%D9%88%D8%B3%D9%81-%D9%88-%D8%B1%D9%81%DB%8C%D9%82%D8%A7%D8%B4-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86%D8%AA%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AA-%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AF Payamemam]

* These attacks from Israel and the United States... were unprovoked. There was no immanent threat. Many would interpret this war to be an illegal war.
** Evaleila Pesaran, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nJnVYpbKuM&amp;t=600s &quot;The war with Iran: An expert analysis&quot;] (Mar 2, 2026) Youtube video from [[University of Cambridge|Cambridge University]] channel.

* I see no indication that ...those institutions are weak or fraying or that you can destroy ...[them] from the air. ...[T]his administration is trying to justify the war the same way [[Jackson Pollock]] used to paint. You just throw a bucket of reasons up against the canvas and hope the result looks good. ...Iranian missiles ... [as] a threat to the United States... falls short of the truth by about 4,000 miles ...[I]f we're doing preventative wars now to prevent countries that might one day be a threat, is [[North Korea]]... [[China]]... [[Russia]] in line? I don't think so. ...I can't make head or tails out of the reason this administration has put forward for this war.
** [[w:Alan Eyre (diplomat)|Alan Eyre]], &quot;Expert panel breaks down U.S. objectives in Iran war&quot; (Mar 2, 2026) @''{{w|PBS News Hour}}''.

* Once again, America is going to war for Israel. Once again, many will die for the Zionist state, including American service members. Once again, we will stumble blindly into a military fiasco. Once again, we will do the bidding of a foreign power whose interests are not our interests, but whose lobbyists have bought up our political class, including Donald Trump. Once again, we will violate the U.N. charter by attacking a country that does not pose an imminent threat.
** [[Chris Hedges]], [https://scheerpost.com/2026/03/01/going-to-war-again-for-israel/ Going to War, Again, for Israel]. ScheerPost. (March 1, 2026)

* If the [[Precedents|precedent]] that is being set is, &quot;Any country with super
* [I]t is in many ways a final battle to decide what [[World War II]] was all about. Will [[international law]] crumble as a result of the unwillingness of enough countries to protect the rules of civilized [[law]] supporting the principles of [[Westphalian sovereignty|national sovereignty]], free from foreign interference and [[coercion]] from the 1648 {{w|Peace of Westphalia}} to the [[Charter of the United Nations|UN Charter]]?  And with regard to wars that inevitably are to be waged, will they spare {{w|civilian}}s and non-belligerents...
** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://www.counterpunch.org/2026/03/02/the-us-israeli-attack-was-to-prevent-peace-not-advance-it/ &quot;The US/Israeli Attack Was to Prevent Peace Not Advance It&quot;] (Mar 2, 2026) @''{{w|Counterpunch}}''

* Iran negotiators had agreed... not to have an [[Nuclear weapons|atom bomb]]... to reduce their refined uranium, to shift the refined uranium outside of the country, and to submit to an unprecedented degree of oversight... But none of this was about an atom bomb... The... reason that America has attacked Iran... was to control Near Eastern oil... and [[David Petraeus|General Petraeus]], years ago, had outlined this whole plan... &quot;...all of your profits and rents from the oil will be lent back to the United States, ...priced in dollars and invested in U.S. Treasury securities, U.S. bonds and U.S. stocks, so that the money, the vast dollar inflows from your oil exports, will all be part of the U.S. economy.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;I sat in on meetings in the {{w|White House}} in 1974 when this was discussed...
** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://www.democracynow.org/2026/3/3/michael_hudson_economist_trump_iran_attack A War for Oil:] Economist Michael Hudson on U.S. Quest to Control the World’s Oil Trade (Mar 3, 2026) @{{w|Democracy Now!}}

* [I]t is in many ways a final battle to decide what [[World War II]] was all about. Will [[international law]] crumble as a result of the unwillingness of enough countries to protect the rules of civilized [[law]] supporting the principles of [[Westphalian sovereignty|national sovereignty]], free from foreign interference and [[coercion]] from the 1648 {{w|Peace of Westphalia}} to the [[Charter of the United Nations|UN Charter]]?  And with regard to wars that inevitably are to be waged, will they spare {{w|civilian}}s and non-belligerents...
** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://www.counterpunch.org/2026/03/02/the-us-israeli-attack-was-to-prevent-peace-not-advance-it/ &quot;The US/Israeli Attack Was to Prevent Peace Not Advance It&quot;] (Mar 2, 2026) @''{{w|Counterpunch}}''

*The American philosophy is, number one, you bomb civilians, you break all the rules of international law which are against that. You bomb civilians to demoralize them. And if you concentrate, as Trump did, along with Israel, a few weeks ago, you {{w|2026 Minab school attack|bomb the schools}}, you bomb the hospitals. That’s American policy in foreign countries. It’s most visible in the case of Israeli policy, in Gaza, and now the West Bank as well. And it is the same policy that the United States has followed in Iran.
** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://geopoliticaleconomy.com/2026/03/29/war-iran-change-economy-michael-hudson/ &quot;The war on Iran is transforming the global economy: Economist Michael Hudson explains how&quot;] (Mar 29, 2026) @Geopolitical Economy Report

* Whenever a state chooses to go to [[war]]... you have to ask—where is the [[w:Intelligence assessment|intelligence]] on the threat? ...[T]he Trump administration ...in hurry mode ...chose to set [[diplomacy]] aside, despite the fact that the [mediating] [[w:Badr bin Hamad Al Busaidi#Diplomatic career|Omani foreign minister]] ...was convinced that remarkable progress had been made on the issue of [[Nuclear program of Iran|Iranian nuclear weapons]] ...[T]wo other arguments for the war: that the US faced an imminent threat from [[Iran]], and that Iran’s {{w|ballistic missile}} capability threatened the United States. Scratch this last claim—it’s simply not [[Truth|true]] ...Why would a much-weakened [[Islamic Republic of Iran|Islamic Republic]] pose an &quot;imminent threat&quot; ..? [[Marco Rubio]] has come forward with an absurd argument ...Does anyone truly believe that Israel would go it alone ...without US backing, that the operation was not jointly planned?  ...This is all desperate [[storytelling]], not intelligence.
** {{w|Wesley Wark}}, &quot;[https://thewalrus.ca/iran-foreign-policy-experts/ Eight Experts on What You’re Not Being Told about the War in Iran:] The questions that aren’t making it into the battlefield dispatches&quot; (Mar 3, 2026) @''{{w|The Walrus}}''

*  Ironically, the greatest beneficiaries of the United States’ grave [[wikt:violation#Noun|violation]]s of [[international law]] are the very actors whom, under normal circumstances, Washington would be seeking to restrain: [[Moscow]] will be emboldened to continue its barbaric [[w:Russo-Ukrainian war|assault on Ukraine]], while [[China]] will feel empowered to move on [[Taiwan]].
** [[w:Stephanie Turco Williams|Stephanie T. Williams]],  &quot;Flying blind&quot; (March 2, 2026) [https://www.brookings.edu/articles/after-the-strike-the-danger-of-war-in-iran/ &quot;After the strike: The danger of war in Iran&quot;] [[w:Brookings Institution|Brookings]].

* Iran negotiators had agreed... not to have an [[Nuclear weapons|atom bomb]]... to reduce their refined uranium, to shift the refined uranium outside of the country, and to submit to an unprecedented degree of oversight... But none of this was about an atom bomb... The... reason that America has attacked Iran... was to control Near Eastern oil... and [[David Petraeus|General Petraeus]], years ago, had outlined this whole plan... &quot;...all of your profits and rents from the oil will be lent back to the United States, ...priced in dollars and invested in U.S. Treasury securities, U.S. bonds and U.S. stocks, so that the money, the vast dollar inflows from your oil exports, will all be part of the U.S. economy.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;I sat in on meetings in the {{w|White House}} in 1974 when this was discussed...
** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://www.democracynow.org/2026/3/3/michael_hudson_economist_trump_iran_attack A War for Oil:] Economist Michael Hudson on U.S. Quest to Control the World’s Oil Trade (Mar 3, 2026) @{{w|Democracy Now!}}

*It's going to be... tempting for countries to think that in a world where there are no rules.., no [[w:Law of war|rules of war]], where that [[w:Liberal international order|post-war liberal order]], imperfect as it was, is now completely being disregarded.., that makes the world more dangerous for all of us. ...[T]here was an [[order]] of some kind ...a view that a degree of [[w:Consensus decision-making|international consensus]] was necessary ...before ...[[w:Interventionism (politics)|intervening in foreign countries]]. There were rules of war... [A]ll of us need to be... very thoughtful about supporting the creation of a world where anything goes, and [[might makes right]]. ...[[United States|America]] is still the preeminent [[power]], the {{w|superpower}}, the global [[Hegemony|hegemon]]. ...I hope this is a moment for Americans to reflect on the facts that the rules-based international order, which did act as a constraint on American power, also provided America with some meaningful [[protection]].
** [[Chrystia Freeland]], Chrystia Freeland on Iran, Ukraine, and Global Power Shifts | ''{{w|Amanpour and Company}}'' (Mar 3, 2026) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vlj_beVDuxg&amp;t=196s 3:16.]

* [I]f it's... possible that there are about to be acts of [[terrorism]] by [[Iran]] inside the United States, how can [[United States Congress|Congress]] continue to blockade funds for the [[w:United States Department of Homeland Security|Department of Homeland Security]] until it gets [[reform]]s... including an end to the [[lying]]..? You're going to see a real press by the [[Second presidency of Donald Trump|Trump administration]] to say, &quot;Release the funds and let the Department... resume... operations.., including falsely calling people terrorists if they operate a camera near an immigration agent.&quot; You're going to see attacks on the [[freedom of the press]]. This administration... regards it as illegal, criminal, for reporters simply to ask questions of [[The Pentagon|Pentagon employees]]... Only the designated leaders... get to speak... and if they're... saying things that look like they might not be [[Truth|true]], you can't second guess or question them. We have had many instances... of false indications of [[w:Powers of the president of the United States#Emergency powers|emergency powers]]. The whole [[w:Tariffs in the second Trump administration|tariff nonsense]]... rested on [[Falsehood|false claims]] of the president... about economic emergency. ...[N]ow there's a real [[war]].., a real risk of terrorist activity... That's a much more plausible emergency.., and... what [[Courts|court]] will say, &quot;We don't think you're telling the truth about this either&quot;? ...So there will be new assertions of emergency power... [P]eople who have the president's ear have been urging him to use emergency powers against the [[w:2026 United States elections|elections of 2026]]. The possibility of that... are much higher today... than... a week ago. ...We're moving into extraordinary danger to democratic institutions. The [[w:2026 Iran war|war in Iran]]... is an urgent [[w:Domestic policy of the second Trump administration|domestic policy]] question... a massive grant of power to a president and administration that have proven... that they will [[Abuse of power|abuse any powers]] that they are en[[trust]]ed with.
** [[David Frum]], &quot;[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8w7KOoD8sCs&amp;t=190s No Exit from Trump's War:] with Tom Nichols&quot; The David Frum Show. A Youtube video from ''{{w|The Atlantic}}'' channel. (Mar 4 2026)

*&quot;Senate votes down resolution to stop Trump from continuing war with Iran&quot; (Mar 4, 2026)
**&lt;small&gt;''{{w|The Independent}}''. [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/senate-iran-war-vote-trump-powers-resolution-b2932221.html Source.]&lt;/small&gt;
*Nobody gets to hide and give the president an easy pass or an end-run around the Constitution. Everybody's got to declare whether they're for this war or against it.
** Sen. [[Tim Kaine]]
*War is ugly, it always has been ugly, but we're taking out a regime that has been trying to attack us for quite some time.
** Sen. [[Markwayne Mullin]]
*I learned when I was fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan, that when elites in Washington bang the war drums, pound their chest, talk about the costs of war and act tough, they're not talking about them doing it, they're not talking about their kids. They're talking about working class kids like us.
** Rep. [[Jason Crow]]

* Why are we going into Iran? ...[I]t is the president's [[wikt:vainglory#Noun|vainglory]]. He thinks he's on a roll, that... this is easy to do; that you can [[w:2026 United States intervention in Venezuela|knock off dictatorships like Venezuela]], and then have a parade; that this solves a lot of his problems. It gets people not talking about the [[Epstein files]]. ...[A] huge chunk of [[Donald Trump]]'s [[Foreign policy of the United States|foreign policy]] is rooted in trying to get people to stop talking about the Epstein files. ...[H]e is that [[wikt:narrow-minded#Adjective|narrow]] and [[wikt:crass#Adjective|crass]]. ...Now he's going to say he's a [[w:Powers of the president of the United States#Emergency powers|war president]]. That means you can't criticize me... I can stomp on the press... I can declare a [[w:Powers of the president of the United States#Emergency powers|national emergency]]. ...As the [[Parliament of the United Kingdom|British Parliament]] said... in [~]1944... &quot;This is not a propitious time for an [[Elections|election]].&quot; ...[[wikt:mischief#Noun|[M]ischief]] comes with a war because... presidential war powers... become almost unchallengeable.
** [[w:Tom Nichols (academic)|Tom Nichols]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8w7KOoD8sCs&amp;t=797s Trump’s War With Iran and a New Danger at Home] | The [[David Frum]] Show (Mar 4, 2026) A Youtube video from ''{{w|The Atlantic}}'' channel.

*[[Donald Trump|The president]] was not going to be just another president on a very long list who sat back and stood by and passed the buck of this direct threat to the next administration. The president had a feeling, again, based on fact, that Iran was going to strike the United States, was going to strike our assets in the region, and he made a determination to launch Operation Epic Fury based on all of those reasons.
**[[Karoline Leavitt]] quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-iran-war-white-house-briefing-b2931933.html &quot;Karoline Leavitt insists Trump had a ‘feeling based on fact’ before Iran strikes but still won’t detail imminent threat to US&quot;]], ''The Independent'' (05 March 2026)

*[T]o take on the extraordinary risks... without having made the case with the American people.., citing immanent threats that aparently don't exist... that's problematic, and the chances of unintended consequences... are... very serious...  [W]e're... using.., in many cases very expensive weapons to take down $20,000 drones. That's not a good equation... over time. ...I'm worried about ...second and third order consequences ...we so deplete our arsenal, and it takes a long time to rebuild ...puts us in a disadvantageous position when it comes to ...a [[China]] or ...[[Russia]]. ...[M]uch as ...everyone should want to see a change... it may simply ...reinforce the [[Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps|IRGC]] ...[I]t's very hard to produce regime change from outside. You can't bomb your way to it. ...The [[wikt:red flag#Noun|red flag]] ...is that this could be [[Syrian civil war|Syria]] [[wikt:redux#Noun|redux]] or  ...[[Libyan Crisis (2011–present)|Libya]] redux ...the country fracturing, imploding or even exploding with [[refugee]]s and [[w:International migration|migration]].., [[Extremism|extremist]] groups taking hold... It's incredibly ...[[dangerous]]. ...[I]t's never too late for [[diplomacy]]. ...&lt;br /&gt;[W]hen [[Russia]] is ...reaching a weak point because of its dependence on oil to fuel its war economy ...they get a lifeline, ...the price of oil is going up. The [[Europe|Europeans]], in having moved away from Russian gas, are now more dependent on the [[Middle East]]. ...If the {{w|Strait of Hormuz}} gets tied up ...that's ...a lot of pressure ...So mapping out, gaming out, planning out and ...making sure you have something in place to deal with ...second and third order effects is ...important, and it's not ...clear ...that was done ...There's been a shifting rationale ...[or] explanation for why this, why now? ...That's why it's so important to have ...laid this out before the American people, and our partners and allies. We might have had less friction with them if there was a compelling case ...and had them on the take-off, not mid-flight or on the landing.
** [[Antony Blinken]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHgG-lkOi6w&amp;t=74s &quot;Former Secretary of State on the Two Keys to Ending Iran War&quot;] (Mar 4, 2026) A Youtube video from the [[w:Bloomberg News|Bloomberg]] Podcasts channel.

*Majority of Experts Assembly has come to pick next leader who is Seid.
**Dirbaz[https://www.etemadonline.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-9/764537-%D9%85%D8%AC%D9%84%D8%B3-%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1%DB%8C ] (Mar 8 2026)

* Unprovoked attacks by the [[United States|US]] and [[Israel]]... violate the fundamental prohibition on the use of [[force]], [[Sovereignty|sovereign]] [[equality]], {{w|territorial integrity}}, and the [[duty]] to [[Peace|peacefully]] settle disputes... They also violate the {{w|right to life}}... We cannot pick and choose when [[international law]] applies. Unlawful [[military]] [[w:Interventionism (politics)|intervention]] is not a solution... These attacks do not strike military abstractions – they strike people... {{w|Civilian}}s are bearing the brunt of this war... In a country that has already lost thousands to [[Violence|violent]] [[Political repression|repression]]... these attacks deepen... profound human [[tragedy]]... The targeting of civilians, educational facilities, and medical institutions constitutes a grave violation of [[international humanitarian law]] and [[w:International human rights law|human rights law]]... Any path forward must be grounded in the [[rule of law]], the will of the [[Iranians|Iranian people]], and full accountability for the [[wikt:violation#Noun|violation]] of international law, by all parties... 
** {{w|Mai Sato}}, [[w:Cecilia Bailliet|Cecilia M. Bailliet]], {{w|Astrid Puentes Riaño}}, {{w|Alexandra Xanthaki}}, {{w|Farida Shaheed}}, Surya Deva, {{w|Margaret Satterthwaite}}, {{w|Gina Romero}}, Nicolas Levrat, [[w:Richard Bennett (UN)|Richard Bennett]], Tomoya Obokata, [[w:Mary Lawlor (human rights advocate)|Mary Lawlor]], {{w|Ben Saul}}, {{w|Alice Jill Edwards}}, [[Francesca Albanese]], Morris Tidball-Binz, {{w|Siobhán Mullally}}, Gabriella Citroni, Grażyna Baranowska, Aua Baldé, Ana Lorena Delgadillo Pérez, {{w|Bina D'Costa}}, {{w|Claudia Flores}}, Ivana Krstić, {{w|Dorothy Estrada-Tanck}}, Haina Lu, [[Reem Alsalem]], {{w|Paula Gaviria Betancur}}, Elizabeth Salmón, Mariana Katzarova (Special Procedures of the Human Rights Council, volunteer Special Rapporteurs/Independent Experts/Working Groups) [https://www.ohchr.org/en/press-releases/2026/03/iran-un-experts-call-de-escalation-and-accountability &quot;Iran: UN experts call for de-escalation and accountability&quot;] (Mar 4, 2026) [[w:Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights|OHCHR]].

* [[Mohammed bin Salman|The Crown Prince]] and other [[w:Arab states of the Persian Gulf|Gulf]] leaders have been urging America not to undertake military action against Iran, because all of us believe... action will not remain confined to Iran; that Iran will retaliate against American in the area, which is present in all of the Gulf states, and as far away as [[Turkey]]... They've been warning the Americans not to undertake military action and suffer the consequences. ...I don't think the system in Iran will collapse any time soon. ...Iranian leadership has been preparing for an eventuality like this, because of what they have continued to hear from [[Benjamin Netanyahu|Mr. Netanyahu]] in the past 40 years. He has been calling for the destruction of Iran, and so the Iranians... have been preparing themselves for such an eventuality. ...The only way the system will go... is through the Iranian people.
** {{w|Turki bin Faisal Al Saud}}, &quot;Fmr. Saudi Intelligence Chief Discusses Gulf States' Reaction to Iran Attacks | ''{{w|Amanpour and Company}}''&quot; [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfGcX4XuZ5A&amp;t=62s 1:02,] 5:08.

* Iran just stated that they are going to hit very hard today, harder than they have ever been hit before.., THEY BETTER NOT DO THAT, HOWEVER, BECAUSE IF THEY DO, WE WILL HIT THEM WITH A FORCE THAT HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE! 
** [[Donald J. Trump]], post on Truth Social, &quot;Trump warns Iran of unprecedented force if it retaliates&quot; (Feb 28, 2026) {{w|Reuters}}.

*I think the war is very complete, pretty much. [Iran has] no navy, no communications, they've got no air force. Their missiles are down to a scatter. Their drones are being blown up all over the place, including their manufacturing of drones.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-iran-cbs-news-the-war-is-very-complete-strait-hormuz/ &quot;Trump says 'the war is very complete,' and he's considering taking over Strait of Hormuz&quot;], ''CBS News'' (Mar 9 2026)

*US officials are posting fake news to manipulate narkets. It won't protect them from inflationary tsunami they've imposed on Americans Markets are facing biggest shortfall in HISTORY bigger than Arab Oil Embargo, Kuwait 
**[https://www.etemadonline.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%85%D9%84%D9%84-17/764878-%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%82%DA%86%DB%8C-%D9%88%D8%B2%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%AC%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7 Mr Iraqchi] (Mar 10 2026)

*If Iran does anything that stops the flow of Oil within the Strait of Hormuz, they will be hit by the United States of America TWENTY TIMES HARDER than they have been hit thus far. Additionally, we will take out easily destroyable targets that will make it virtually impossible for Iran to ever be built back, as a Nation, again - Death, Fire, and Fury will reign upon them - But I hope, and pray, that it does not happen! This is a gift from the United States of America to China, and all of those Nations that heavily use the Hormuz Strait. Hopefully, it is a gesture that will be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your attention to this matter! President DONALD J. TRUMP
**[https://x.com/WhiteHouse/status/2031167037620236703 Trump on TruthSocial] (10 March 2026)

*Most definitely we are not seeking ceasefire we will break zionist life cycle of war-negotiations-ceasefire and then war again forever
**Moahamedbagher Ghabilaf[https://www.etemadonline.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-9/764797-%D8%A2%D8%AA%D8%B4-%D8%A8%D8%B3-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86- %D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%A6%DB%8C%D9%84 ] (Mar 10 2026)

*Take Bahrain back! Annex it
**MP Aytallah Resaei Hamid[https://www.khabarfoori.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-59/3200147-%DB%8C%DA%A9-%D9%86%D9%85%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86%D8%AF%D9%87-%D9%85%D8%AC%D9%84%D8%B3-%D8%A8%D8%AD%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D9%BE%D8%B3-%D8%A8%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%85 ], 12 March 2026

*I have seen his body after martyred, I heard he clenched his fist.You people have led the country. The will of the masses is to continue the effective and regrettable defense. Certainly, the leverage of blocking the Strait of Hormuz should still be used. Neighboring countries must make their position clear to the aggressors against our country... In any case, we will demand compensation from the enemy; if they refuse, we will seize as much of their property as we determine; if that is not possible, we will destroy as much of their property as we can.
**Mojtaba Khamenei (12 March 2026)[https://www.irna.ir/news/86100475/%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B9%D8%B8%D9%85-%D8%A7%D9%86%D9%82%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%AA%D8%A7%DA%A9%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D9%86%D9%82%D8%B4-%D9%88-%D8%AD%D8%B6%D9%88%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%85-%D8%AD%D8%B6%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%B5%D8%AD%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF ][https://www.khabarfoori.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-59/3200277-%D8%B4%D9%85%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%85-%DA%A9%D8%B4%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AE%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%B4%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B4%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%B5%D8%B1%D9%81-%D9%86%D8%B8%D8%B1-%D9%86%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%85-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF-%D9%87%D9%85%DA%86%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AA%D9%86%DA%AF%D9%87-%D9%87%D8%B1%D9%85%D8%B2-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%87-%D8%A8%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%B9%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AF%D9%88%D8%B3%D8%AA%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D9%87%D9%85%D8%B3%D8%A7%DB%8C%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%DB%8C%D9%85 ]

*Aggression against soil of Iranian islands will shatter all restraint. We will abandon all restraint and make the Persian Gulf run with the blood of invaders.
**[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77477478/%D9%82%D8%A7%D9%84%DB%8C%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%81-%D9%87%D8%B1%DA%AF%D9%88%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%AA%D8%B9%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%D8%A7%DA%A9-%D8%AC%D8%B2%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D9%88%DB%8C%D8%B4%D9%86%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%AA%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D9%85%DB%8C], ''Qalibaf'' (12 March 2026)

*The [[United States]] is the largest Oil Producer in the World, by far, so when oil prices go up, we make a lot of money. BUT, of far greater interest and importance to me, as President, is stoping an evil Empire, Iran, from having Nuclear Weapons, and destroying the [[Middle East]] and, indeed, the World. I won’t ever let that happen!
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/iran-us-war-live-updates-supreme-leader-trump-oil-b2937272.html &quot;Iran-US war latest: Supreme leader statement threatens fresh attacks after UK base in Iraq hit by drone swarm&quot;], ''The Independent'' (12 March 2026)

*As long as America and Zionist exist humankind will not see quiet. To establish peace they must be destroyed
**Aytallah Khatami Imam Tehran [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77485962/%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%AA%D9%85%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%B5%D9%84%D8%AD-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B1%DA%98%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%B5%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%88%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%AF ][https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77487036/%D8%AA%D8%A7-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D9%88-%D8%B1%DA%98%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%B5%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%88%D9%86%DB%8C-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%86%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%B4%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D8%B1%D9%88%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%B4-%D9%86%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%D8%AF-%D8%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF] (13 March 2026)
*Just run!
**IRGC hebrew text [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77499999/%D8%AE%D8%B7%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%B3%D8%A7%DA%A9%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%B2%D9%85%DB%8C%D9%86-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B4%D8%BA%D8%A7%D9%84%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D9%84%D8%A7-%D9%81%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%B1-%DA%A9%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF ] (14 March 2026)
*If Americans do heliborne operation on taking over Khark Island we will attack their bases and take prisoners
**FM Manouchehr Motaki Iran negotiators [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77500152/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%AA%DA%A9%DB%8C-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7%DB%8C%DB%8C-%D9%87%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%D9%86%D8%AF-%D8%AC%D8%B2%DB%8C%D8%B1%D9%87-%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%B1%DA%A9-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B4%D8%BA%D8%A7%D9%84-%DA%A9%D9%86%D9%86%D8%AF ] (14 March 2026)
*If the [[2026 FIFA World Cup|World Cup]] games are in [[Mexico]] maybe we will go
**Minister of youth &amp; sport [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77499588/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%88%D8%B2%DB%8C%D8%B1-%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%B2%D8%B4-%D9%81%DB%8C%D9%81%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%DB%8C%D8%B2%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%87%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7], (14 March 2026)
*Countries in region are supposed to pay reparations for killing Khamenei. 
**VP Mohammed Mokhber [https://www.mehrnews.com/news/6774791/%D9%85%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1-%DA%A9%D8%B4%D9%88%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%85%D9%86%D8%B7%D9%82%D9%87-%D9%85%DA%A9%D9%84%D9%81-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AC%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AE%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%AA-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%86%D8%AF] (14 March 2026)
*When I feel it. When I feel it in my bones.
**[[President Trump]] quoted when asked when the war will end: [https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/trump-says-iran-war-will-end-when-i-feel-it-in-my-bones_uk_69b57775e4b09d87d0277fa2 &quot;Trump Says Iran War Will End 'When I Feel It In My Bones'&quot;], ''Huffington Post'' (14 March 2026)
*It's a little unfair. You win a war, but they have no right to be doing what they're doing.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c70k29914q4o &quot;Surge in US petrol prices deepens political peril for Trump over Iran&quot;], ''BBC News'' (17 March 2026)
*Because of the fact that we have had such Military Success, we no longer “need,” or desire, the NATO Countries’ assistance — WE NEVER DID! Likewise, Japan, Australia, or South Korea. In fact, speaking as President of the United States of America, by far the Most Powerful Country Anywhere in the World, WE DO NOT NEED THE HELP OF ANYONE! 
**[https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116245182325726375 Donald Trump on Truth Social] (17 Mar 2026)

*[[Israel]], out of anger for what has taken place in the Middle East, has violently lashed out at a major facility known as South Pars Gas Field in Iran. A relatively small section of the whole has been hit. The United States knew nothing about this particular attack, and the country of [[Qatar]] was in no way, shape, or form, involved with it, nor did it have any idea that it was going to happen. Unfortunately, Iran did not know this, or any of the pertinent facts pertaining to the South Pars attack, and unjustifiably and unfairly attacked a portion of Qatar’s LNG Gas facility. NO MORE ATTACKS WILL BE MADE BY ISRAEL pertaining to this extremely important and valuable South Pars Field unless Iran unwisely decides to attack a very innocent, in this case, Qatar - In which instance the United States of America, with or without the help or consent of Israel, will massively blow up the entirety of the South Pars Gas Field at an amount of strength and power that Iran has never seen or witnessed before. I do not want to authorize this level of violence and destruction because of the long term implications that it will have on the future of Iran, but if Qatar’s LNG is again attacked, I will not hesitate to do so. 
**[[Donald Trump]] on [https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116253388303392718 Truth Social] (Mar 19, 2026)

* Iranian missiles do not differentiate between Muslim and Christian and Jew and whichever religion, they're out there to kill anybody because they feel everybody who doesn't accept their belief is an infidel.
**Israeli President [[Isaac Herzog]] following the 2026 Beit Awwa salon strike in the West Bank. (Mar 19, 2026)[https://www.jpost.com/middle-east/iran-news/article-890479]

*We are getting very close to meeting our objectives as we consider winding down our great Military efforts in the Middle East with respect to the Terrorist Regime of [[Iran]]: (1) Completely degrading Iranian Missile Capability, Launchers, and everything else pertaining to them. (2) Destroying Iran’s Defense Industrial Base. (3) Eliminating their Navy and Air Force, including Anti Aircraft Weaponry. (4) Never allowing Iran to get even close to Nuclear Capability, and always being in a position where the U.S.A. can quickly and powerfully react to such a situation, should it take place. (5) Protecting, at the highest level, our Middle Eastern Allies, including [[Israel]], [[Saudi Arabia]], [[Qatar]], the [[United Arab Emirates]], [[w:Bahrain|Bahrain]], [[Kuwait]], and others. The [[w:Hormuz Strait|Hormuz Strait]] will have to be guarded and policed, as necessary, by other Nations who use it — The United States does not! 
**[[Donald Trump]] on [https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116263563453969628 Truth Social] (Mar 20, 2026)

[[File:Strait of Hormuz.jpg|thumb|Strait of Hormuz]]
*If Iran doesn’t FULLY OPEN, WITHOUT THREAT, the [[w:Strait of Hormuz|Strait of Hormuz]], within 48 HOURS from this exact point in time, the United States of America will hit and obliterate their various POWER PLANTS, STARTING WITH THE BIGGEST ONE FIRST!
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/clyxv87zwwpo &quot;Trump at a crossroads as US weighs tough options in Iran&quot;], ''BBC News'' (21 March 2026)

*In difficult times like these, when events seem both confused and confusing, [[Mark Twain]]’s “broken fragments of antique legends” can remind us of historical analogies like the collapse of the power and influence of [[Great Britain]] or of the [[Soviet Union]] that can help us understand how the past often whispers to the present — as it indeed seems to be doing these days in the [[Strait of Hormuz]].
** [[Alfred W. McCoy]], [https://inkstickmedia.com/how-the-iran-war-gave-trump-his-very-own-suez-crisis/ &quot;How the Iran War Gave Trump His Very Own Suez Crisis&quot;] (21 March 2026)

*No countries that are [[North Atlantic Treaty Organization|NATO]] allies that have been bullied by Trump are going to be willing… to go on this suicide mission for someone who is an asshole to them.
**Adam Mockler from [[w:MeidasTouch|MeidasTouch]] quoted telling [[CNN]] in [https://inews.co.uk/news/world/trump-iran-gamble-failed-americas-allies-pay-it-4309972 &quot;Trump’s Iran gamble has failed – and America’s allies will pay for it&quot;], ''iNews'' (March 22, 2026)

*Maybe me. Me and the ayatollah, whoever the ayatollah is, whoever the next ayatollah is. There’s automatically a regime change, but we’re dealing with some people that I find to be very reasonable, very solid. The people within know who they are. They’re very respected, and maybe one of them will be exactly what we’re looking for.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted on who would control the [[w:Strait of Hormuz|Strait of Hormuz]] in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/trump-ayatollah-joint-leadership-hormuz-b2944024.html &quot;Trump proposes extraordinary ‘joint leadership’ of Iran alongside ayatollah&quot;], ''Independent'' (23 March 2026)

*No negotiations have been held with the US, and fake news is used to manipulate the financial and oil markets and escape the quagmire in which the US and Israel are trapped.
**[[w:Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf|Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf]] quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/trump-ayatollah-joint-leadership-hormuz-b2944024.html &quot;Trump proposes extraordinary ‘joint leadership’ of Iran alongside ayatollah&quot;], ''Independent'' (23 March 2026)

*Because they’re going to make a deal. They did something yesterday that was amazing, actually. They gave us a present. And the present arrived today. And it was a very big present worth a tremendous amount of money. And I’m not going to tell you what that present is, but it was a very significant prize.… That meant one thing to me—we’re dealing with the right people.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted on negotiations with [[Iran]] in [https://www.newsbreak.com/the-new-republic-1991457/4556482986909-trump-says-he-changed-his-mind-after-iran-gave-very-big-present &quot;Trump Says He Changed His Mind After Iran Gave 'Very Big Present'&quot;], ''Newsbreak'' (24 March 2026)

*Has the level of your inner ⁠struggle reached the stage ⁠of you negotiating with yourself?
**Iranian Ebrahim Zolfaqari's rhetorical question to Donald Trump quoted in [https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2026/3/25/us-talking-to-itself-says-iran-as-trump-claims-wheels-of-diplomacy-turning &quot;US talking to itself, says Iran as Trump claims wheels of diplomacy turning&quot;], ''Al Jazeera'' (25 March 2026)

* The enemy signals negotiation in public, while in secret it plots a ground attack. Our firing continues. Our missiles are in place. Our determination and faith have increased. [Iranian forces] are waiting for the arrival of American troops on the ground to set them on fire and punish their regional partners for ever.
** Iranian parliament speaker, [[w:Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf|Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf]], quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/mar/29/iran-accuses-us-plotting-ground-assault-publicly-seeking-talks &quot;Iran accuses US of plotting ground assault while publicly seeking talks&quot;], ''Guardian'' (29 March 2026)

*This is our God: Jesus, king of peace, who rejects war, whom no one can use to justify war. He does not listen to the prayers of those who wage war, but rejects them.
* ([[Isaiah]] 1:15) ‘Even though you make many prayers, I will not listen: your hands are full of blood.’
**[[Pope Leo XIV]] quoting ''Book of Isaiah'', reported in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cje4x38q8xqt?post=asset%3A58d1f907-b13b-443a-b413-d7741b63b566 &quot;'Hands full of blood': Pope Leo seemingly criticises those involved in war&quot;], ''BBC News'' (29 March 2026)

===Apr 2026===
[[File:Gas prices Sonoma, California April 7 2026.jpg|thumb|Trump: We will consider when Hormuz Strait is open, free, and clear. Until then, we are blasting Iran into oblivion or, as they say, back to the Stone Ages.]]
*We're finishing the job, and I think within maybe two weeks, maybe a couple of days longer, to do the job. But we want to knock out every single thing they have. Now, it's possible that we'll make a deal before that.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://newsroom.ap.org/editorial-photos-videos/detail?itemid=ad13f6002bde4e30befd5495f58499d9 &quot;Trump: US could leave Iran in 2 to 3 weeks, securing Strait of Hormuz is 'not for us'&quot;], ''AP News'' (Apr 1, 2026)

*We will consider [a ceasefire] when [[w:Hormuz Strait|Hormuz Strait]] is open, free, and clear. Until then, we are blasting [[Iran]] into oblivion or, as they say, back to the Stone Ages.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-iran-speech-stone-age-b2950116.html &quot;Trump threatens both Iran and NATO allies ahead of primetime address on war: ‘Back to the Stone Ages’&quot;], ''Independent'' (Apr 1, 2026)

*If hostility escalates, the entire region will turn into hell for you; the illusion of defeating the Islamic Republic of Iran will become a quagmire into which you will sink.
**[[w:Ebrahim Zolfaghari|Ebrahim Zolfaghari]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c5y90jl8veyo US and &quot;Iran trade threats to unleash 'hell' as search for missing US airman continues&quot;], ''BBC News'' (4 April 2026)

*In the attempt to try to prevent Iran from developing a weapon of mass destruction, the US handed Iran a weapon of mass disruption.
**Ali Vaez, quoted in [https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/us-intelligence-warns-iran-unlikely-ease-hormuz-strait-chokehold-soon-sources-2026-04-03/ Reuters]

*Tuesday will be Power Plant Day, and Bridge Day, all wrapped up in one, in Iran. There will be nothing like it!!! Open the Fuckin' Strait, you crazy bastards, or you'll be living in Hell - JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah. President DONALD J. TRUMP
**[https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvg0q6wdzp1o Trump issues expletive-laden threat to Iran over Hormuz Strait blockage], ''BBC News'' (5 April 2026)

* Subject to the Islamic Republic of Iran agreeing to the COMPLETE, IMMEDIATE, and SAFE OPENING of the Strait of Hormuz, I agree to suspend the bombing and attack of Iran for a period of two weeks
** [[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/apr/07/trump-iran-war-ceasefire US and Iran agree to provisional ceasefire as Tehran says it will reopen strait of Hormuz], ''The Guardian'' (8 April 2026 )

* If attacks against Iran are halted, our Powerful Armed Forces will cease their defensive operations. For a period of two weeks, safe passage through the Strait of Hormuz will be possible via coordination with Iran's Armed Forces and with due consideration of technical limitations.
** Iran’s foreign minister, [[w:Abbas Araghchi|Abbas Araghchi]] quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/apr/07/trump-iran-war-ceasefire &quot;US and Iran agree to provisional ceasefire as Tehran says it will reopen strait of Hormuz&quot;], ''The Guardian'' (8 April 2026 )

* The Iranians don’t seem to realize they have no cards, other than a short term extortion of the World by using International Waterways. The only reason they are alive today is to negotiate!
** [[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/apr/10/jd-vance-warns-iran-against-trying-to-play-the-us-in-peace-talks &quot;JD Vance warns Iran against trying to ‘play’ the US in peace talks&quot;], ''The Guardian'' (10 April 2026 )

*The simple question is, do we see a fundamental commitment of will for the Iranians not to develop a nuclear weapon, not just now, not just two years from now, but for the long term. We haven’t seen that yet.
**[[JD Vance]]  quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/iran-us-peace-talks-vance-trump-b2956013.html &quot;Why the US-Iran peace talks failed after just one day – and what happens next&quot;], ''The Independent'' (12 April 2026)

* We’re going to clean out the strait.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/5827840-trump-navy-strait-hormuz-blockade/ &quot;US military will ‘clean out’ Strait of Hormuz: Trump&quot;], ''The Hill'' (12 April 2026)

* We’re very disappointed with [[NATO]], we’re very, very disappointed that they didn’t come. Now, they want to come and they want to help with the strait.
**Trump quoted in [https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/5827840-trump-navy-strait-hormuz-blockade/ &quot;US military will ‘clean out’ Strait of Hormuz: Trump&quot;], ''The Hill'' (12 April 2026)

[[File:Straße von Hormuz.jpg|thumb|Trump - Iran has agreed to never close the Strait of Hormuz again]]

* In line with the ceasefire in Lebanon, the passage for all commercial vessels through [the] [[w:Strait of Hormuz|Strait of Hormuz]] is declared completely open for the remaining period of ceasefire, on the coordinated route as already announced by Ports and Maritime Organisation of the Islamic Rep. of Iran.
** Iran Foreign Minister [[w:Abbas Araghchi|Abbas Araghchi]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cqxdg17yr2wt Iran says Strait of Hormuz is 'open' as Trump says US blockade will continue until deal reached], ''BBC News'' (Apr 17, 2026)

* [[Iran]] has agreed to never close the Strait of Hormuz again. It will no longer be used as a weapon against the World!
** [https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116420562510387829 Donald Trump on Truth Social] (Apr 17, 2026)

* Based on the fact that the Government of [[Iran]] is seriously fractured, not unexpectedly so and, upon the request of Field Marshal Asim Munir, and Prime Minister [[w:Shehbaz Sharif|Shehbaz Sharif]], of [[Pakistan]], we have been asked to hold our Attack on the Country of Iran until such time as their leaders and representatives can come up with a unified proposal. I have therefore directed our Military to continue the Blockade and, in all other respects, remain ready and able, and will therefore extend the Ceasefire until such time as their proposal is submitted, and discussions are concluded, one way or the other.
** [[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cx297218m9vt &quot;Iran says reopening Strait of Hormuz 'impossible' if US blockade continues&quot;], ''BBC News'' (Apr 22, 2026)

* We are all 'Iranian' and 'revolutionary,' and with the iron unity of the nation and government, with complete obedience to the Supreme Leader. We will make the aggressor criminal regret his actions.
** Iran's President {{w|Masoud Pezeshkian}} quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c0mjev4kn9jt?page=2 &quot;Trump says Israel-Lebanon ceasefire extended by three weeks, but he won't 'rush' Iran deal&quot;], ''BBC News'' (Apr 24, 2026)

===May 2026===
*Iran has taken some shots at unrelated Nations with respect to the Ship Movement, PROJECT FREEDOM, including a South Korean Cargo Ship. Perhaps it’s time for South Korea to come and join the mission!{{Pbri}}We’ve shot down seven small Boats or, as they like to call them, “fast” Boats. It’s all they have left. Other than the South Korean Ship, there has been, at this moment, no damage going through the Strait. Secretary of War Pete Hegseth and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Dan Caine, will have a News Conference tomorrow morning.
** [https://truthsocial.com/@realdonaldtrump Trump Truth Social Truth], 4 May 2026 
*Countries from all over the World. almost all of which are not involved in the Middle Eastern dispute going on so visibly, and violently, for all to see, have asked the United States if we could help free up their Ships. which are locked up in the Strait of Hormuz, on something which they have absolutely nothing to do with - They are merely neutral and innocent bystanders! For the good of Iran, the Middle East, and the United States, we have told these Countries that we will guide their Ships safely out of these restricted Waterways, so that they can freely and ably get on with their business. Again, these are Ships from areas of the World that are not in any way involved with that which is currently taking place in the Middle East. I have told my Representatives to inform them that we will use best efforts to get their Ships and Crews safely out of the Strait. In all cases, they said they will not be returning until the area becomes safe for navigation, and everything else. This process, '''Project Freedom''', will begin Monday morning, Middle East time. I am fully aware that my Representatives are having very positive discussions with the Country of Iran, and that these discussions could lead to something very positive for all. The Ship movement is merely meant to free up people, companies, and Countries that have done absolutely nothing wrong - They are victims of circumstance. This is a Humanitarian gesture on behalf of the United States, Middle Eastern Countries but, in particular, the Country of Iran. Many of these Ships are running low on food, and everything else necessary for large scale crews to stay on board in a healthy and sanitary manner. I think it would go a long way in showing Goodwill on behalf of all of those who have been fighting so strenuously over the last number of months. If, in any way, this Humanitarian process is interfered with, that interference will, unfortunately, have to be dealt with forcefully. Thank you for your attention to this matter!
**[https://truthsocial.com/@realdonaldtrump Trump Truth Social Truth]
*Quranic verdict of Zarif and Rouhani is execution definitely indeed
**Qasemian[https://www.khabaronline.ir/news/2213690/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%82%D8%A7%D8%B3%D9%85%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AD%DA%A9%D9%85-%D9%82%D8%B1%D8%A2%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D8%B8%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%81-%D9%88-%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%AD%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D9%82%D8%B7%D8%B9%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B9%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%85 ]19:05, (3 May 2026)
* Do you take out your wife, sister and wife so that unmarried men can look? There is a law, the parliament has approved it. I advise these women who come out without hijab: gather yourself. If these people decide, they will destroy your life. Netanyahu kills people, you beat people's opinion. They come again and appear in the square and street. Will you bring your sister and this woman so that the eyes of non-mahram men will fall on her situation?
**[https://www.khabaronline.ir/news/2213662/%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%87-%D8%B1%D8%B4%D8%AA-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%85-%D8%AA%D8%B5%D9%85%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%A8%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AF-%D8%AF%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%B2%DA%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%A8%DB%8C-%D8%AD%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D9%87%D8%A7 Imam Juma Rasht] (3 May 2026)

* Operation Epic Fury is concluded. We achieved the objectives of that operation.
** [[Marco Rubio]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c1wz2ld4535t US &quot;Secretary of State Marco Rubio says offensive stage of Iran war is 'over'&quot;], ''BBC News'' (4 May 2026)

* Based on the request of [[Pakistan]] and other Countries, the tremendous Military Success that we have had during the Campaign against the Country of Iran and, additionally, the fact that Great Progress has been made toward a Complete and Final Agreement with Representatives of Iran, we have mutually agreed that, while the Blockade will remain in full force and effect, Project Freedom (The Movement of Ships through the Strait of Hormuz) will be paused for a short period of time to see whether or not the Agreement can be finalized and signed. 
** Trump quoted in  [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c152zyj0599t &quot;Trump says US will pause operation to guide ships through Strait of Hormuz&quot;], ''BBC News'' (6 May 2026)

* We have such a great military and great navy. And they were going straight through, and they said, “Turn your ship around!”. And there was no response. “Turn your ship around! Evacuate your engine room immediately!” And you see all these guys running out of there. Now, they’re five miles away — in one shot, into the engine room, blew up the engine room; the ship stopped, and they used tugboats. And then we landed on top of it — on top of everything else — we then land on top of it. And '''we took over the ship; we took over the cargo, took over the oil. It’s a very profitable business'''. Who would have thought we were doing that? '''We’re like pirates. We’re sort of like pirates'''. But we’re not playing games.
** Trump quoted in [https://geopoliticaleconomy.com/2026/05/09/trump-pirates-iran-ships-china-us-sanctions/ Trump boasts ‘we’re like pirates’, seizing Iran’s ships, as China challenges US sanctions]. Geopolitical Economy Report. (9 May 2026)

* We will never bow our heads before the enemy, and if talk of dialogue or negotiation arises, it does not mean surrender or retreat.
** Iranian President [[w:Masoud Pezeshkian|Masoud Pezeshkian]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/clypgz9e5pmo &quot;Trump calls Iran response to US proposal to end war 'totally unacceptable&quot;], ''BBC News'' (10 May 2026)

* 1. They martyred the great and devoted leader of the Islamic Revolution; 2. No Muslim country came to Iran aid. What sort of Islam is this .. what kind of Muslimhoodness is this; 3.Iran continues to resist the big and small Satan (America and Israel); 4. On one side of today's battle are America and Israel, and on the other side are Muslim Iran and the resistance forces. Which side are you; 5. Think about the future of the Islamic world. You know that America is not loyal to you and Israel is your enemy. Think for a minute about yourself and the future of the region;  6. Unity of the Islamic Ummah with all its power can provide and guarantee the security, excellence and independence of countries for everyone
**letter to 6 countries Larijani[https://fa.alalam.ir/news/7428293/%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%87-%DB%B6-%D8%A8%D9%86%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D8%B7%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D9%85%D8%B3%D9%84%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AC%D9%87%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%88-%D8%AF%D9%88%D9%84%D8%AA-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%85%DB%8C ]
*If you want Internet, pack and get up, leave your things, go to Afghanistan, live where there is Internet.
**IRIB anchor man [https://fararu.com/fa/news/970808/%D8%B4%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B2%DB%8C-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86%D8%AA%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AA-5g-%D8%A7%D9%81%D8%BA%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D9%88%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%87%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AC%D8%A7-%D8%B2%D9%86%D8%AF%DA%AF%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF ]p
*Like a rogue gang, the Iranian regime is pillaging resources that rightfully belong to the Iraqi people. Treasury will not stand idly by as Iran's military exploits Iraqi oil to fund terrorism against the United States and our partners.
**[https://twitter.com/SecScottBessent/status/2052447601304178863?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw Bessent]
*God's order to fight Fitne. Israel is to be wiped out. Division causes failure against enemies 
**Imam Karaj[https://www.imna.ir/news/971477/%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%87-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AC-%D8%A7%D8%AE%D8%AA%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%81-%D8%A7%D9%81%DA%A9%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%B2%D9%85%DB%8C%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%B4%DA%A9%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D8%AF%D8%B4%D9%85%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA ][https://www.didbaniran.ir/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-3/284228-%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%87-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AC-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%AE%D8%AF%D8%A7-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%DA%A9%D9%87-%D8%AA%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%B1%D9%81%D8%AA%D9%86-%D9%81%D8%AA%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%A8%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AF%D8%B4%D9%85%D9%86-%D8%A7%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%B2%D9%87-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B2%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%B2%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%AF%D8%B4-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D9%86%D8%AF%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%85 ]
*Report of high Damage of internet blackout from government is greatly exaggerated.
**[https://www.zoomit.ir/iran-news/459800-denies-exaggerated-internet-outage-claims/] MP of Tehran 18:28, 15 May 2026 (UTC)~

*Trump is hopeless and desperate he went to begging China for no result. He will not be satisfied until Iran is destroyed.
**[https://www.khabaronline.ir/news/2219513/%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%87-%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%84-%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%BE-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AA%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%B3-%D8%A8%D9%87-%DA%86%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%86%D8%AA%DB%8C%D8%AC%D9%87-%D9%86%DA%AF%D8%B1%D9%81%D8%AA Ayatollah Imam Ardebil] (15 May 2026)

*China encourages the US and Iran to continue resolving their differences and disputes, including the nuclear issue, through negotiations, and advocates the swift reopening of the Strait of Hormuz on the basis of maintaining a ceasefire
**Chinese FM Wang in [https://aa.com.tr/en/asia-pacific/chinese-top-diplomat-urges-diplomacy-on-iran-after-trump-xi-summit/3938851] (15 May 2026)

*The most important issue today is trust. We cannot trust the Americans in any way
**[https://en.mehrnews.com/news/244536/Araghchi-holds-presser-in-New-Delhi], Iraqchi (15 May 2026)

*We’ve taken out much of what we’d have to do, probably another two weeks, two weeks, maybe three weeks I’m very torn on it, because they lost 42,000 people in the first two weeks. I don’t really want to see that You can’t have an unarmed population against people with AK-47s The Iranian people have to have guns and I think they’re getting some guns.


As soon as they have guns, they’ll fight like as good as anybody there is.
**President Trump 07:48, 22 May 2026 (UTC)~~[https://www.iranintl.com/en/202605057012 ]
*They can either agree to a piece of paper that is satisfactory to the United States, or they can face a punishment from our military, the likes of which has not been seen in modern history. That’s the choice that they face
**Miller [https://unb.com.bd/category/World/trump-official-warns-iran-of-unprecedented-military-action-over-deal-holdout/186431 ] 07:48, 22 May 2026 (UTC)~

*Our American issue solves when they surely get the powerfulness we have , and they can't do anything against us
**Mohamed Mkokhber[https://www.khabaronline.ir/news/2222394/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%AA%D8%AD%D9%84%DB%8C%D9%84-%D9%85%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D8%AF%D8%B1%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B1%D9%87-%D8%B2%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AD%D9%84-%D8%B4%D8%AF%D9%86-%D9%85%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%A6%D9%84-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7 ] 07:48, 22 May 2026 (UTC)~~
* Matchmaking booths had been set up at rallies in Tehran, allowing young men and women to register for introductions under what organizers call “easy marriage.
**Fars[https://www.iranintl.com/en/202605215847 ]
*It's a possibility Iran we can go around ceasefire 
**[https://www.khabaronline.ir/news/2222363/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B9%D8%B6%D9%88-%DA%A9%D9%85%DB%8C%D8%B3%DB%8C%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D9%85%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%85%D8%AC%D9%84%D8%B3-%D8%A7%D8%AD%D8%AA%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%84-%D8%B9%D8%A8%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A2%D8%AA%D8%B4-%D8%A8%D8%B3-%D8%A7%D8%B2 ] National security Islamic Cunsultative Assembly MP 07:48, 22 May 2026 (UTC)~
*Trying to prohibit Iranians in LA from bringing the Lion and Sun flag into the stadium is like trying to prevent Americans from bringing the U.S. flag into an American stadium. It would cause mass unrest.

“World Cup matches best illustrate the passion Iranian-Americans feel for their homeland and the contempt they feel toward the Iranian government. Waving the Lion and Sun flag is simultaneously a show of support for the national team and a protest against the regime
**[https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/7288376/2026/05/19/world-cup-fifa-iran-flag/ NYTimes] 07:48, 22 May 2026 (UTC)~~

*This is not good timing for me, I have a thing called Iran and other things
**Trump 07:48, 22 May 2026 (UTC)~ [https://www.iranintl.com/en/202605214172#:~:text=US%20President%20Donald%20Trump%20said,called%20Iran%20and%20other%20things.%E2%80%9D ]
== See also ==
* [[Iran]]
* [[Israel]]
* [[Middle East]]
* [[Second presidency of Donald Trump]]
* [[Might makes right]]

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Commons category}}
* [https://www.bbc.com BBC coverage of 2026 Iran conflict]
* [https://www.aljazeera.com/news Al Jazeera: Iran crisis coverage]

[[Category:2026]]
[[Category:2020s in Iran]]
[[Category:Wars and battles]]
[[Category:Arab-Israeli conflict]]</text>
      <sha1>brk8s9fuf01ws2pa8p8fqssgdu13co5</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944150</id>
      <parentid>3944144</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T10:04:25Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>C.J. Griffin</username>
        <id>862699</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Ce</comment>
      <origin>3944150</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="80719" sha1="m1edtknip1pfre0ri3lqx1epclfkg5k" xml:space="preserve">
[[File:Strait of Hormuz.jpg|thumb|Blockade Plus : Sustain the blockade and accompanying economic warfare to destabilize the regime’s hold on the state; remake the world in America’s energy dominance image to mitigate long-term price impacts while undermining China’s global ambition to defeat the United States; and order the US military to forge a path through the Strait of Hormuz to restore freedom of navigation [https://nypost.com/2026/05/01/opinion/heres-how-to-crush-tehran-in-three-moves/ ]]]

[[File:Pirate Flag of Jack Rackham.svg|thumb|We took over the ship; we took over the cargo, took over the oil. It’s a very profitable business . . . We’re like pirates. We’re sort of like pirates. - Trump[https://geopoliticaleconomy.com/2026/05/09/trump-pirates-iran-ships-china-us-sanctions/]]]

[[File:Flag of the United States Secretary of the Army.svg|thumb|God is good~Hegseth[https://www.cnn.com/2026/04/06/politics/hegseth-trump-iran-war-easter-christianity-analysis ]]][[File:TrinityDetonation1945GIF.gif|thumb|If there's no ceasefire, you're just going to have to look at one big glow coming out of Iran. President DJT[https://www.skynews.com.au/world-news/united-states/one-big-glow-coming-out-of-iran-trumps-wild-threat-as-he-hints-peace-deal-talks-might-collapse/video/8a668c00deaff3d27568bc78441e4a29 ]]]
[[File:Seal_of_the_Army_of_the_Guardians_of_the_Islamic_Revolution.svg|thumb|Having an atomic bomb is used to scare the enemy, and we should not use this bomb on the people in any way, unless it happens.[http://didbaniran.ir/fa/tiny/news-281553 Nataj]]][[File:Donald Trump OEF.jpg|thumb|Trump: &quot;I think the war is very complete, pretty much&quot; (Mar 9th)]]
On 28 February 2026, [[Israel]] and the [[United States]] launched a '''[[w:2026 Iran War|coordinated joint attack]]''' on multiple sites in [[Iran]], sparking a major conflict. The operation, codenamed '''Operation Roaring Lion''' and '''Operation Epic Fury''' by the [[w:United States Department of Defense|U.S. Department of Defense]], targeted senior Iranian officials, military command centers, and key strategic facilities, with the declared aim of [[w:regime change|regime change]]. The attack included the [[w:Assassination of Ali Khamenei|assassination]] of Iran’s second [[w:Supreme Leader of Iran|Supreme Leader]], [[Ali Khamenei]].

The strikes began in the cities of [[Tehran]], [[w:Isfahan|Isfahan]], [[w:Qom|Qom]], [[w:Karaj|Karaj]], and [[w:Kermanshah|Kermanshah]]. Several Iranian government figures were killed, including [[w:Ali Shamkhani|Ali Shamkhani]], the secretary of the [[w:Supreme National Security Council|Supreme National Security Council]]. Witnesses reported explosions across multiple regions. Israeli Defense Minister [[w:Israel Katz|Israel Katz]] confirmed that the [[w:Israel Defense Forces|Israel Defense Forces]] had conducted the strikes. [[w:Donald Trump|Donald Trump]], in a video posted on [[w:Truth Social|Truth Social]], announced that the United States had joined Israel in launching attacks against Iran.

In retaliation, Iranian forces launched dozens of [[w:Unmanned aerial vehicles in the Iranian military|drones]] and [[w:ballistic missiles|ballistic missiles]] across the [[w:Persian Gulf|Persian Gulf]], targeting Israel as well as U.S. military installations in [[Jordan]], [[Kuwait]], [[w:Bahrain|Bahrain]], [[Qatar]], [[Iraq]], [[Saudi Arabia]], and the [[United Arab Emirates]].
[[File:Khamenei last end year 5458884.jpg|thumb|The newly supreme appointed leader should deliver message of the peace to world and declare new era in Iran , a historic neccessity to free political prisoners and declare public general amnesty for those that haven't collaborated in killing Iranians and/or 2026 Iran massacres [https://www.khabarfoori.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-59/3198657-%D8%AC%D8%A8%D9%87%D9%87-%D8%A7%D8%B5%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%AD%D8%A7%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AA%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1%DB%8C-%D8%AC%D8%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AD%D8%A7%D9%88%DB%8C-%D9%BE%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%B5%D9%84%D8%AD-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AC%D9%87%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A2%D8%BA%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%AF%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%B2%D9%87-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B4%D8%AF-%D8%A7%D8%B9%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%B9%D9%81%D9%88-%D8%B9%D9%85%D9%88%D9%85%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D9%84%DB%8C%D9%87-%DA%A9%D8%B3%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D9%87-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%B4%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%A2%D9%84%D9%88%D8%AF%D9%87-%D9%86%D8%B4%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A2%D8%B2%D8%A7%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D9%87%D9%85%D9%87-%D8%B2%D9%86%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-%D9%81%D8%B9%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%D8%AF%D9%86%DB%8C-%DB%8C%DA%A9-%D8%B6%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%AA-%D9%85%D9%84%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AE%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA ]]][[File:Mojtaba Khamenei 2019.jpg|thumb|another Khamenei is coming.~[https://www.khabarfoori.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-59/3198781-%D8%AA%D8%A7%DB%8C%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%AA%D9%84%D9%88%DB%8C%D8%AD%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AA%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%A2%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%84%D9%87-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%AC%D8%AA%D8%A8%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%B9%D9%86%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D8%A8%D8%B9%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D9%88%D8%B3%D8%B7-%D8%B9%D8%B6%D9%88-%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1%DB%8C QomImam]]][[File:Flag of the Cooperation Council for the Arab States of the Gulf.svg|thumb|Trump is hysterical and struggling with last final breaths. Americans are at the end of their rope. Enemy is caught in desperate swamp...Netanyahu pumped up US to attack, we will exact vengeance...Trump you are a retarded person, ...we are funneling through pass of war,... Iranians have civilization, countries of region are acting like cuckold pimps... Trump says some people within of our military have defected give us 2 of these people names to us[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77421052/%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%BE-%D8%A2%D8%AF%D9%85-%D8%B9%D9%82%D8%A8-%D8%A7%D9%81%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%DA%AF%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF ~Larijani][https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77421726/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D9%86%D9%81%D8%B3-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D8%AE%D8%B1-%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%BE-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9-%D8%B4%D8%AF%D9%87-%D9%88 ][https://farsnews.ir/mohammadreza_dehghan/1772912586911483130/%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%A7-%DA%AF%D8%B1%D9%81%D8%AA%D9%86-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%B3%D8%B1-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D9%86%D9%85%DB%8C-%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%85 ]]][[File:State_flag_of_Iran_(1964%E2%80%931980).svg|thumb|Seventeen 17 cities of Caucasian Iran was separated from Iran by Tsar Russia. We are reborn from ashes of Mongol invasion and Timurid.[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77413081/%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%AF%DA%AF%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D9%88%D9%86-%D9%88-%D8%AE%D8%A7%DA%A9 ]]]

== Quotes ==
&lt;small&gt;Please add quotes in chronological order&lt;/small&gt;
===Feb 2026===
*Finally, to the great, proud people of Iran, I say tonight that the hour of your freedom is at hand… Stay sheltered. Don't leave your home. It's very dangerous outside. Bombs will be dropping everywhere . when we are finished, take over your  government. It will be yours to take. This will be probably your only chance for
**Trump [https://www.pbs.org/newshour/world/read-trumps-full-statement-on-iran-attack PRESIDENT TRUMP's message to the great people of Iran ..]
*firm of heart against the disbelievers, compassionate among themselves.
**Khamenei quoted Quran[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77473280/%D8%A3%D8%B4%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%A1-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D9%84%DA%A9%D9%81%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%B1%D8%AD%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%A1-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%D9%87%D9%85 ]
*There's a special place in hell reserved for pro-Trump Iranians.
**IRGC Mashre Dimitri Lascaris [https://www.shahrekhabar.com/news/177328434067132 ]
*400,000 armed people are ready to go to revolt against the United States government system
**Gen Araste[https://www.ettelaat.com/news/140255/%DB%B4%DB%B0%DB%B0-%D9%87%D8%B2%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D9%86%D9%81%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B3%D9%84%D8%AD-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%AF%D9%87-%D9%82%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C%D9%87-%D9%86%D8%B8%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86-%DA%A9%D8%B4%D9%88%D8%B1-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%86%D8%AF#ref=shahrekhabar ]
*Russia and China will win the war not just Iran
**IRGC Gen RahimSafavi[https://www.shahrekhabar.com/news/177326496039426 ]
*We have arm around Americans neck we will be slapping it when it moves
**IRGC Gen Mohsen rezai[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77471755/%D9%85%D8%AD%D8%B3%D9%86-%D8%B1%D8%B6%D8%A7%DB%8C%DB%8C-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%BE%D8%B4%D8%AA-%DA%AF%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%86-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AA%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%D8%AF-%D8%AA%DA%A9%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%AF-%DB%8C%DA%A9 ]
*If anyone comes to street they are seen as enemies and not as protestors.All our kids are putting their finger on triggers all alleys , streets , city squares belong to Police, special units and The IRGC Basij.
**FARAJA Cmdr Gen Ahmed Radan[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77462710/%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%DA%A9%D8%B3%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AF%D8%B4%D9%85%D9%86-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A7%D9%88-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%B9%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%B6 ]
* I can see that the peace deal is within our reach... if we... allow [[diplomacy]] the space it needs to get there... I don't think any alternative to diplomacy is going to solve this problem. ...The [[heart]] of this deal is very important and ...we have captured that heart. ...[I]f the ultimate objective is to ensure forever, that Iran cannot have a [[Nuclear weapons|nuclear bomb]] ...we have cracked that problem ...[W]e are talking about zero stockpiling ...[I]f you cannot stockpile material that is enriched ...there is no way you can ...create a bomb ...and ...equally important ...full and comprehensive verification by the [[w:International Atomic Energy Agency|IAEA]] ...The current stockpiles ...will be down-blended to the lowest level possible ...and converted into fuel that ...will be irreversible. ...I am ...confident ...that even the United States inspectors will have access at some point ...if we have a deal that is respected, and fair, and ...durable ...We have agreed, in general, to discuss economic and security cooperation between Iran and its neighbors, and set up a process of dialogue that will ...start the elements of building confidence, ...a rapport, a process that can ...lead ...to an understanding on all these ...areas of concern ...on the Iranian side, and ...on the [[w:Gulf Cooperation Council|GCC]] side. ...Broad terms, ...the politics, the ...main issues ...can be agreed [upon] tomorrow. The technicalities will take some time to work... out with... the IAEA. ...[T]hat can also be done ...relatively quickly, because a lot of this ...groundwork was done years ago, and it's ...in place. ...The substantial progress... is... far more than any time before. We just need that bit of extra time to close the deal.
** {{w|Badr bin Hamad Al Busaidi}}, &quot;Oman's foreign minister says U.S.-Iran nuclear 'deal is within our reach'&quot; (Feb 27, 2026) ''{{w|Face the Nation}}'' statements prior to the US-Israeli attacks. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pg5sXQDR8NY&amp;t=38s A Youtube video source.]

*Mahdi is with us and in charge of Umma, he has through Assembly of Experts introduced Ayatallah Mojtaba Khamenei
**[https://kayhan.ir/fa/news/328896/%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%B2%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%B9%D8%AC-%D9%88%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%81%D9%82%DB%8C%D9%87-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%D8%B9%D8%B1%D9%81%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF-%D9%86%DA%A9%D8%AA%D9%87 Hossein Shariatmadare]
*The revolution will not sit down until flag of Mahdi is raised on all corners of earth
**[https://kayhan.ir/fa/news/328901/%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%86%D9%87%E2%80%8C%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D8%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%AC%D8%AA%D8%A8%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA Hossein Shariatmadare]
*To save his soldiers Trump has gone to Volodymir Zelensky president-clown of Ukraine for aid
**[https://kayhan.ir/fa/news/328922/%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%86%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%AA-%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B2%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%B4-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86-%DB%8C%DA%A9-%D8%AF%D9%84%D9%82%DA%A9-%D8%B4%D8%AF Hossein Shariatmadare]
*War's balance changed and Islamic Republic of Iran has the upper hand, there won't be a negotiatons any country who helps America will be targeted as enemy
**[https://tasnimnews.ir/fa/news/1404/12/19/3537514/%D9%85%D9%88%D9%81%D9%82%DB%8C%D8%AA-90-%D8%AF%D8%B1%D8%B5%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%AD%D9%85%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%AA-%D9%85%D9%88%D8%B4%DA%A9%DB%8C-%D9%88-%D9%BE%D9%87%D9%BE%D8%A7%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%B2%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D9%86%D9%81%D8%B9-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA ICA]
*A vessel has passed through Hormuz strait , an United States (US) military navy escorted her. In Playstation
**ICA[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77461463/%D9%88%D8%A7%DA%A9%D9%86%D8%B4-%D8%B1%D8%A6%DB%8C%D8%B3-%D9%85%D8%AC%D9%84%D8%B3-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%A7%D8%AF%D8%B9%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%AF%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%BA%DB%8C%D9%86-%D9%88%D8%B2%DB%8C%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%B1%DA%98%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%AF%D8%B1%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B1%D9%87-%D8%AA%D9%86%DA%AF%D9%87 ]
*We have only just begun our missiles have left utter ruin and destruction ,Netanyahu won't let you see
**Abbas Iraqchi[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77462291/%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%82%DA%86%DB%8C-%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%B2%D9%87-%D8%B4%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%B9-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%85 ]
*Our enemy is the stupidest idiot. Our defense system is an ideology not just a defense system, while when we hit Haifa their people were begging for car gas
**FARAJA Cmdr Gen Achmed Radan [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77460868/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AF%D8%B4%D9%85%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A7%D8%AD%D9%85%D9%82-%D8%AA%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%86-%D9%87%D8%A7-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%86%D8%AF ]
*Your children shall read Quran while sitting by the missile launchers tonight.
**Gen Mousavi [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77461610/%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D9%85%D9%88%D8%B3%D9%88%DB%8C-%D9%81%D8%B1%D8%B2%D9%86%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B4%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%B4%D8%A8-%D9%BE%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%86%DA%86%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A7-%D9%82%D8%B1%D8%A2%D9%86-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%B3%D8%B1-%D9%85%DB%8C-%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AF ]

[[File:HIMARS Support Operation Epic Fury (9564974).jpg|thumb|Operation Epic Fury]]
===Mar 2026===
*All vessels shall not pass Hormuz Strait
**IRGCN Gen Ali Tangsiri[https://www.mehrnews.com/news/6771339/%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%AA%D9%86%DA%AF%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%B1%DB%8C-%D9%87%DB%8C%DA%86-%D8%B4%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%88%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AA%D8%A8%D8%B7-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%AA%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%88%D8%B2%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AD%D9%82-%D8%B9%D8%A8%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%AA%D9%86%DA%AF%D9%87-%D9%87%D8%B1%D9%85%D8%B2 ]
*How much of a cuckold is American president, Australian police has taken our girls out of the hotel and forced and made them to apply for asylum
**Mehdi Taj Chairman National Football Federation[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77458637/%D9%85%D9%87%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%AC-%D8%AF%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%88%D8%B2%DA%AF%DB%8C-%D8%B1%D8%A6%DB%8C%D8%B3-%D8%AC%D9%85%D9%87%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%AA%D8%A7-%DA%86%D9%87-%D8%AD%D8%AF-%D8%AF%D9%85-%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D8%AC%D9%84%D9%88%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%AC ]
*We are prepared to wage war against America for next at least another 10 year
**IRGC Gen Jabari[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77449662/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%B4%D8%A7%D9%88%D8%B1-%D9%81%D8%B1%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AF%D9%87-%DA%A9%D9%84-%D8%B3%D9%BE%D8%A7%D9%87-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%B9%D9%86%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A2%D8%AF%D9%85-%D9%85%D8%B7%D9%84%D8%B9-%D9%85%DB%8C-%DA%AF%D9%88%DB%8C%D9%85-%DA%A9%D9%87 ]
*Iran is the conscious of the humanity, its real dignity and glory. It is chosen people fighting for the Victory of the Light. It it Ormuzd, Ishraq. Mahdi people.
**Dugin Alexander[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77392273/%D8%AA%D9%88%DB%8C%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%84%DA%A9%D8%B3%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%AF%D9%88%DA%AF%DB%8C%D9%86-%D9%BE%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%AF%DA%AF%DB%8C-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86 ]
*The recent war is between good and evil
**ICA[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77432191/%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D8%A7%D8%AE%DB%8C%D8%B1-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D8%AD%D9%82-%D9%88-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B7%D9%84-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA ]
*Like thunder we will strike Haifa
**IRGC Gen Seid mousavi[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77449498/%D8%B3%D8%B1%D9%84%D8%B4%DA%A9%D8%B1-%D8%B9%D8%A8%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%84%D9%87%DB%8C-%D9%87%D9%85%DA%86%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%B5%D8%A7%D8%B9%D9%82%D9%87-%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D8%AD%DB%8C%D9%81%D8%A7-%D9%88-%D9%BE%D8%A7%DB%8C%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%87-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D9%85%D9%86%D8%B7%D9%82%D9%87 ]
* Iran’s leaders before the attack had been clear that they were willing to negotiate on the nuclear question. Talks were ongoing... There had appeared to be a good basis for agreement, given... an Iranian government that... was not in a position to enrich uranium... for the foreseeable future. ...Americans ...were deeply unhappy with the results of America’s last big wars of {{w|regime change}} ...[[War in Afghanistan (2001–2021)|in Afghanistan]] [[Iraq War|and Iraq]]. At the beginning of this joint [[w:2026 Iran war|US–Israel campaign against Iran]], only about a third of Americans supported the adventure...
** Dana Allin, &quot;US politics and the war against Iran&quot; (Mar 2, 2026) [https://www.iiss.org/online-analysis/online-analysis/2026/02/the-us-israel-campaign-in-iran/ &quot;The US-Israel campaign in Iran&quot;] @[[w:International Institute for Strategic Studies|IISS]].org

*This is a war that should end it once and for all.
::[https://www.mehrnews.com/news/6764020/%D9%86%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%B2%D8%A7%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AF%D9%86%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%84-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D9%85%D9%86%D8%B7%D9%82%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%AF ICA] (Mar 2 2026)

*Our Brave and Powerful Armed Forces will avenge each and every Iranian mother, , father, and child who has been targeted by hostile forces.
**foreign minister Abbas Iraqchi[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77405403/%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%82%DA%86%DB%8C-%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%B1%D9%88%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%85%D8%B3%D9%84%D8%AD-%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AA%DA%A9-%D8%AA%DA%A9-%D8%B4%D9%87%D8%AF%D8%A7-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%D9%86%D8%AF-%DA%AF%D8%B1%D9%81%D8%AA ]

*There is no shelter you can be safe 
**[https://www.shahrekhabar.com/news/177298212045678 IRGC text]

*We will fill Americans' coffins there is no end to war unless they fully surrender.
**IRGC operations mission statement[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77389339 ]

*Trump is more than 500 Americans killed dead America first or israel first. Inshallah Khamenei killing has heavy price
**Larijani[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77384703/%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%BE-%D8%AD%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%A8-%DA%A9%D9%86%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D9%87%D9%85-%D8%A7%D9%88%D9%84-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%DB%8C%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D9%88%D9%84-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%A6%DB%8C%D9%84 ]

* Irregardless of cost. Not unlike United States of America. Same as Iran has not in past 300 years started wars, Iran is ready for long war.
** [[w:Ali Larijani|Ali Larijani]], Secretary of the Supreme National Security Council of Iran. [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77359057 Source (in Persian)]

*Now that we have baited America do not make ceasefire and/or peace we must destroy them
::Ayatallah Panahian[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77388174/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%AD%D8%AC%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B3%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%85-%D9%BE%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%A7%D8%B6%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D8%AA%D8%B4-%D8%A8%D8%B3-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%86%D8%AF-%D9%86%D9%BE%D8%B0%DB%8C%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AF ]

*From us Iranian people only President son Aga Yusuf Pezeshkian and his buddies have internet connection.
::[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77388864/%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D9%85%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%85-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%81%D9%82%D8%B7-%D8%A2%D9%82%D8%A7-%DB%8C%D9%88%D8%B3%D9%81-%D9%88-%D8%B1%D9%81%DB%8C%D9%82%D8%A7%D8%B4-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86%D8%AA%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AA-%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AF Payamemam]

* These attacks from Israel and the United States... were unprovoked. There was no immanent threat. Many would interpret this war to be an illegal war.
** Evaleila Pesaran, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nJnVYpbKuM&amp;t=600s &quot;The war with Iran: An expert analysis&quot;] (Mar 2, 2026) Youtube video from [[University of Cambridge|Cambridge University]] channel.

* I see no indication that ...those institutions are weak or fraying or that you can destroy ...[them] from the air. ...[T]his administration is trying to justify the war the same way [[Jackson Pollock]] used to paint. You just throw a bucket of reasons up against the canvas and hope the result looks good. ...Iranian missiles ... [as] a threat to the United States... falls short of the truth by about 4,000 miles ...[I]f we're doing preventative wars now to prevent countries that might one day be a threat, is [[North Korea]]... [[China]]... [[Russia]] in line? I don't think so. ...I can't make head or tails out of the reason this administration has put forward for this war.
** [[w:Alan Eyre (diplomat)|Alan Eyre]], &quot;Expert panel breaks down U.S. objectives in Iran war&quot; (Mar 2, 2026) @''{{w|PBS News Hour}}''.

* Once again, America is going to war for Israel. Once again, many will die for the Zionist state, including American service members. Once again, we will stumble blindly into a military fiasco. Once again, we will do the bidding of a foreign power whose interests are not our interests, but whose lobbyists have bought up our political class, including Donald Trump. Once again, we will violate the U.N. charter by attacking a country that does not pose an imminent threat.
** [[Chris Hedges]], [https://scheerpost.com/2026/03/01/going-to-war-again-for-israel/ Going to War, Again, for Israel]. ScheerPost. (March 1, 2026)

* If the [[Precedents|precedent]] that is being set is, &quot;Any country with super
* [I]t is in many ways a final battle to decide what [[World War II]] was all about. Will [[international law]] crumble as a result of the unwillingness of enough countries to protect the rules of civilized [[law]] supporting the principles of [[Westphalian sovereignty|national sovereignty]], free from foreign interference and [[coercion]] from the 1648 {{w|Peace of Westphalia}} to the [[Charter of the United Nations|UN Charter]]?  And with regard to wars that inevitably are to be waged, will they spare {{w|civilian}}s and non-belligerents...
** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://www.counterpunch.org/2026/03/02/the-us-israeli-attack-was-to-prevent-peace-not-advance-it/ &quot;The US/Israeli Attack Was to Prevent Peace Not Advance It&quot;] (Mar 2, 2026) @''{{w|Counterpunch}}''

* Iran negotiators had agreed... not to have an [[Nuclear weapons|atom bomb]]... to reduce their refined uranium, to shift the refined uranium outside of the country, and to submit to an unprecedented degree of oversight... But none of this was about an atom bomb... The... reason that America has attacked Iran... was to control Near Eastern oil... and [[David Petraeus|General Petraeus]], years ago, had outlined this whole plan... &quot;...all of your profits and rents from the oil will be lent back to the United States, ...priced in dollars and invested in U.S. Treasury securities, U.S. bonds and U.S. stocks, so that the money, the vast dollar inflows from your oil exports, will all be part of the U.S. economy.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;I sat in on meetings in the {{w|White House}} in 1974 when this was discussed...
** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://www.democracynow.org/2026/3/3/michael_hudson_economist_trump_iran_attack A War for Oil:] Economist Michael Hudson on U.S. Quest to Control the World’s Oil Trade (Mar 3, 2026) @{{w|Democracy Now!}}

* [I]t is in many ways a final battle to decide what [[World War II]] was all about. Will [[international law]] crumble as a result of the unwillingness of enough countries to protect the rules of civilized [[law]] supporting the principles of [[Westphalian sovereignty|national sovereignty]], free from foreign interference and [[coercion]] from the 1648 {{w|Peace of Westphalia}} to the [[Charter of the United Nations|UN Charter]]?  And with regard to wars that inevitably are to be waged, will they spare {{w|civilian}}s and non-belligerents...
** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://www.counterpunch.org/2026/03/02/the-us-israeli-attack-was-to-prevent-peace-not-advance-it/ &quot;The US/Israeli Attack Was to Prevent Peace Not Advance It&quot;] (Mar 2, 2026) @''{{w|Counterpunch}}''

*The American philosophy is, number one, you bomb civilians, you break all the rules of international law which are against that. You bomb civilians to demoralize them. And if you concentrate, as Trump did, along with Israel, a few weeks ago, you {{w|2026 Minab school attack|bomb the schools}}, you bomb the hospitals. That’s American policy in foreign countries. It’s most visible in the case of Israeli policy, in Gaza, and now the West Bank as well. And it is the same policy that the United States has followed in Iran.
** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://geopoliticaleconomy.com/2026/03/29/war-iran-change-economy-michael-hudson/ &quot;The war on Iran is transforming the global economy: Economist Michael Hudson explains how&quot;] (Mar 29, 2026) @Geopolitical Economy Report

* Whenever a state chooses to go to [[war]]... you have to ask—where is the [[w:Intelligence assessment|intelligence]] on the threat? ...[T]he Trump administration ...in hurry mode ...chose to set [[diplomacy]] aside, despite the fact that the [mediating] [[w:Badr bin Hamad Al Busaidi#Diplomatic career|Omani foreign minister]] ...was convinced that remarkable progress had been made on the issue of [[Nuclear program of Iran|Iranian nuclear weapons]] ...[T]wo other arguments for the war: that the US faced an imminent threat from [[Iran]], and that Iran’s {{w|ballistic missile}} capability threatened the United States. Scratch this last claim—it’s simply not [[Truth|true]] ...Why would a much-weakened [[Islamic Republic of Iran|Islamic Republic]] pose an &quot;imminent threat&quot; ..? [[Marco Rubio]] has come forward with an absurd argument ...Does anyone truly believe that Israel would go it alone ...without US backing, that the operation was not jointly planned?  ...This is all desperate [[storytelling]], not intelligence.
** {{w|Wesley Wark}}, &quot;[https://thewalrus.ca/iran-foreign-policy-experts/ Eight Experts on What You’re Not Being Told about the War in Iran:] The questions that aren’t making it into the battlefield dispatches&quot; (Mar 3, 2026) @''{{w|The Walrus}}''

*  Ironically, the greatest beneficiaries of the United States’ grave [[wikt:violation#Noun|violation]]s of [[international law]] are the very actors whom, under normal circumstances, Washington would be seeking to restrain: [[Moscow]] will be emboldened to continue its barbaric [[w:Russo-Ukrainian war|assault on Ukraine]], while [[China]] will feel empowered to move on [[Taiwan]].
** [[w:Stephanie Turco Williams|Stephanie T. Williams]],  &quot;Flying blind&quot; (March 2, 2026) [https://www.brookings.edu/articles/after-the-strike-the-danger-of-war-in-iran/ &quot;After the strike: The danger of war in Iran&quot;] [[w:Brookings Institution|Brookings]].

* Iran negotiators had agreed... not to have an [[Nuclear weapons|atom bomb]]... to reduce their refined uranium, to shift the refined uranium outside of the country, and to submit to an unprecedented degree of oversight... But none of this was about an atom bomb... The... reason that America has attacked Iran... was to control Near Eastern oil... and [[David Petraeus|General Petraeus]], years ago, had outlined this whole plan... &quot;...all of your profits and rents from the oil will be lent back to the United States, ...priced in dollars and invested in U.S. Treasury securities, U.S. bonds and U.S. stocks, so that the money, the vast dollar inflows from your oil exports, will all be part of the U.S. economy.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;I sat in on meetings in the {{w|White House}} in 1974 when this was discussed...
** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://www.democracynow.org/2026/3/3/michael_hudson_economist_trump_iran_attack A War for Oil:] Economist Michael Hudson on U.S. Quest to Control the World’s Oil Trade (Mar 3, 2026) @{{w|Democracy Now!}}

*It's going to be... tempting for countries to think that in a world where there are no rules.., no [[w:Law of war|rules of war]], where that [[w:Liberal international order|post-war liberal order]], imperfect as it was, is now completely being disregarded.., that makes the world more dangerous for all of us. ...[T]here was an [[order]] of some kind ...a view that a degree of [[w:Consensus decision-making|international consensus]] was necessary ...before ...[[w:Interventionism (politics)|intervening in foreign countries]]. There were rules of war... [A]ll of us need to be... very thoughtful about supporting the creation of a world where anything goes, and [[might makes right]]. ...[[United States|America]] is still the preeminent [[power]], the {{w|superpower}}, the global [[Hegemony|hegemon]]. ...I hope this is a moment for Americans to reflect on the facts that the rules-based international order, which did act as a constraint on American power, also provided America with some meaningful [[protection]].
** [[Chrystia Freeland]], Chrystia Freeland on Iran, Ukraine, and Global Power Shifts | ''{{w|Amanpour and Company}}'' (Mar 3, 2026) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vlj_beVDuxg&amp;t=196s 3:16.]

* [I]f it's... possible that there are about to be acts of [[terrorism]] by [[Iran]] inside the United States, how can [[United States Congress|Congress]] continue to blockade funds for the [[w:United States Department of Homeland Security|Department of Homeland Security]] until it gets [[reform]]s... including an end to the [[lying]]..? You're going to see a real press by the [[Second presidency of Donald Trump|Trump administration]] to say, &quot;Release the funds and let the Department... resume... operations.., including falsely calling people terrorists if they operate a camera near an immigration agent.&quot; You're going to see attacks on the [[freedom of the press]]. This administration... regards it as illegal, criminal, for reporters simply to ask questions of [[The Pentagon|Pentagon employees]]... Only the designated leaders... get to speak... and if they're... saying things that look like they might not be [[Truth|true]], you can't second guess or question them. We have had many instances... of false indications of [[w:Powers of the president of the United States#Emergency powers|emergency powers]]. The whole [[w:Tariffs in the second Trump administration|tariff nonsense]]... rested on [[Falsehood|false claims]] of the president... about economic emergency. ...[N]ow there's a real [[war]].., a real risk of terrorist activity... That's a much more plausible emergency.., and... what [[Courts|court]] will say, &quot;We don't think you're telling the truth about this either&quot;? ...So there will be new assertions of emergency power... [P]eople who have the president's ear have been urging him to use emergency powers against the [[w:2026 United States elections|elections of 2026]]. The possibility of that... are much higher today... than... a week ago. ...We're moving into extraordinary danger to democratic institutions. The [[w:2026 Iran war|war in Iran]]... is an urgent [[w:Domestic policy of the second Trump administration|domestic policy]] question... a massive grant of power to a president and administration that have proven... that they will [[Abuse of power|abuse any powers]] that they are en[[trust]]ed with.
** [[David Frum]], &quot;[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8w7KOoD8sCs&amp;t=190s No Exit from Trump's War:] with Tom Nichols&quot; The David Frum Show. A Youtube video from ''{{w|The Atlantic}}'' channel. (Mar 4 2026)

*&quot;Senate votes down resolution to stop Trump from continuing war with Iran&quot; (Mar 4, 2026)
**&lt;small&gt;''{{w|The Independent}}''. [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/senate-iran-war-vote-trump-powers-resolution-b2932221.html Source.]&lt;/small&gt;
*Nobody gets to hide and give the president an easy pass or an end-run around the Constitution. Everybody's got to declare whether they're for this war or against it.
** Sen. [[Tim Kaine]]
*War is ugly, it always has been ugly, but we're taking out a regime that has been trying to attack us for quite some time.
** Sen. [[Markwayne Mullin]]
*I learned when I was fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan, that when elites in Washington bang the war drums, pound their chest, talk about the costs of war and act tough, they're not talking about them doing it, they're not talking about their kids. They're talking about working class kids like us.
** Rep. [[Jason Crow]]

* Why are we going into Iran? ...[I]t is the president's [[wikt:vainglory#Noun|vainglory]]. He thinks he's on a roll, that... this is easy to do; that you can [[w:2026 United States intervention in Venezuela|knock off dictatorships like Venezuela]], and then have a parade; that this solves a lot of his problems. It gets people not talking about the [[Epstein files]]. ...[A] huge chunk of [[Donald Trump]]'s [[Foreign policy of the United States|foreign policy]] is rooted in trying to get people to stop talking about the Epstein files. ...[H]e is that [[wikt:narrow-minded#Adjective|narrow]] and [[wikt:crass#Adjective|crass]]. ...Now he's going to say he's a [[w:Powers of the president of the United States#Emergency powers|war president]]. That means you can't criticize me... I can stomp on the press... I can declare a [[w:Powers of the president of the United States#Emergency powers|national emergency]]. ...As the [[Parliament of the United Kingdom|British Parliament]] said... in [~]1944... &quot;This is not a propitious time for an [[Elections|election]].&quot; ...[[wikt:mischief#Noun|[M]ischief]] comes with a war because... presidential war powers... become almost unchallengeable.
** [[w:Tom Nichols (academic)|Tom Nichols]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8w7KOoD8sCs&amp;t=797s Trump’s War With Iran and a New Danger at Home] | The [[David Frum]] Show (Mar 4, 2026) A Youtube video from ''{{w|The Atlantic}}'' channel.

*[[Donald Trump|The president]] was not going to be just another president on a very long list who sat back and stood by and passed the buck of this direct threat to the next administration. The president had a feeling, again, based on fact, that Iran was going to strike the United States, was going to strike our assets in the region, and he made a determination to launch Operation Epic Fury based on all of those reasons.
**[[Karoline Leavitt]] quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-iran-war-white-house-briefing-b2931933.html &quot;Karoline Leavitt insists Trump had a ‘feeling based on fact’ before Iran strikes but still won’t detail imminent threat to US&quot;]], ''The Independent'' (05 March 2026)

*[T]o take on the extraordinary risks... without having made the case with the American people.., citing immanent threats that aparently don't exist... that's problematic, and the chances of unintended consequences... are... very serious...  [W]e're... using.., in many cases very expensive weapons to take down $20,000 drones. That's not a good equation... over time. ...I'm worried about ...second and third order consequences ...we so deplete our arsenal, and it takes a long time to rebuild ...puts us in a disadvantageous position when it comes to ...a [[China]] or ...[[Russia]]. ...[M]uch as ...everyone should want to see a change... it may simply ...reinforce the [[Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps|IRGC]] ...[I]t's very hard to produce regime change from outside. You can't bomb your way to it. ...The [[wikt:red flag#Noun|red flag]] ...is that this could be [[Syrian civil war|Syria]] [[wikt:redux#Noun|redux]] or  ...[[Libyan Crisis (2011–present)|Libya]] redux ...the country fracturing, imploding or even exploding with [[refugee]]s and [[w:International migration|migration]].., [[Extremism|extremist]] groups taking hold... It's incredibly ...[[dangerous]]. ...[I]t's never too late for [[diplomacy]]. ...&lt;br /&gt;[W]hen [[Russia]] is ...reaching a weak point because of its dependence on oil to fuel its war economy ...they get a lifeline, ...the price of oil is going up. The [[Europe|Europeans]], in having moved away from Russian gas, are now more dependent on the [[Middle East]]. ...If the {{w|Strait of Hormuz}} gets tied up ...that's ...a lot of pressure ...So mapping out, gaming out, planning out and ...making sure you have something in place to deal with ...second and third order effects is ...important, and it's not ...clear ...that was done ...There's been a shifting rationale ...[or] explanation for why this, why now? ...That's why it's so important to have ...laid this out before the American people, and our partners and allies. We might have had less friction with them if there was a compelling case ...and had them on the take-off, not mid-flight or on the landing.
** [[Antony Blinken]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHgG-lkOi6w&amp;t=74s &quot;Former Secretary of State on the Two Keys to Ending Iran War&quot;] (Mar 4, 2026) A Youtube video from the [[w:Bloomberg News|Bloomberg]] Podcasts channel.

*Majority of Experts Assembly has come to pick next leader who is Seid.
**Dirbaz[https://www.etemadonline.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-9/764537-%D9%85%D8%AC%D9%84%D8%B3-%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1%DB%8C ] (Mar 8 2026)

* Unprovoked attacks by the [[United States|US]] and [[Israel]]... violate the fundamental prohibition on the use of [[force]], [[Sovereignty|sovereign]] [[equality]], {{w|territorial integrity}}, and the [[duty]] to [[Peace|peacefully]] settle disputes... They also violate the {{w|right to life}}... We cannot pick and choose when [[international law]] applies. Unlawful [[military]] [[w:Interventionism (politics)|intervention]] is not a solution... These attacks do not strike military abstractions – they strike people... {{w|Civilian}}s are bearing the brunt of this war... In a country that has already lost thousands to [[Violence|violent]] [[Political repression|repression]]... these attacks deepen... profound human [[tragedy]]... The targeting of civilians, educational facilities, and medical institutions constitutes a grave violation of [[international humanitarian law]] and [[w:International human rights law|human rights law]]... Any path forward must be grounded in the [[rule of law]], the will of the [[Iranians|Iranian people]], and full accountability for the [[wikt:violation#Noun|violation]] of international law, by all parties... 
** {{w|Mai Sato}}, [[w:Cecilia Bailliet|Cecilia M. Bailliet]], {{w|Astrid Puentes Riaño}}, {{w|Alexandra Xanthaki}}, {{w|Farida Shaheed}}, Surya Deva, {{w|Margaret Satterthwaite}}, {{w|Gina Romero}}, Nicolas Levrat, [[w:Richard Bennett (UN)|Richard Bennett]], Tomoya Obokata, [[w:Mary Lawlor (human rights advocate)|Mary Lawlor]], {{w|Ben Saul}}, {{w|Alice Jill Edwards}}, [[Francesca Albanese]], Morris Tidball-Binz, {{w|Siobhán Mullally}}, Gabriella Citroni, Grażyna Baranowska, Aua Baldé, Ana Lorena Delgadillo Pérez, {{w|Bina D'Costa}}, {{w|Claudia Flores}}, Ivana Krstić, {{w|Dorothy Estrada-Tanck}}, Haina Lu, [[Reem Alsalem]], {{w|Paula Gaviria Betancur}}, Elizabeth Salmón, Mariana Katzarova (Special Procedures of the Human Rights Council, volunteer Special Rapporteurs/Independent Experts/Working Groups) [https://www.ohchr.org/en/press-releases/2026/03/iran-un-experts-call-de-escalation-and-accountability &quot;Iran: UN experts call for de-escalation and accountability&quot;] (Mar 4, 2026) [[w:Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights|OHCHR]].

* [[Mohammed bin Salman|The Crown Prince]] and other [[w:Arab states of the Persian Gulf|Gulf]] leaders have been urging America not to undertake military action against Iran, because all of us believe... action will not remain confined to Iran; that Iran will retaliate against American in the area, which is present in all of the Gulf states, and as far away as [[Turkey]]... They've been warning the Americans not to undertake military action and suffer the consequences. ...I don't think the system in Iran will collapse any time soon. ...Iranian leadership has been preparing for an eventuality like this, because of what they have continued to hear from [[Benjamin Netanyahu|Mr. Netanyahu]] in the past 40 years. He has been calling for the destruction of Iran, and so the Iranians... have been preparing themselves for such an eventuality. ...The only way the system will go... is through the Iranian people.
** {{w|Turki bin Faisal Al Saud}}, &quot;Fmr. Saudi Intelligence Chief Discusses Gulf States' Reaction to Iran Attacks | ''{{w|Amanpour and Company}}''&quot; [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfGcX4XuZ5A&amp;t=62s 1:02,] 5:08.

* Iran just stated that they are going to hit very hard today, harder than they have ever been hit before.., THEY BETTER NOT DO THAT, HOWEVER, BECAUSE IF THEY DO, WE WILL HIT THEM WITH A FORCE THAT HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE! 
** [[Donald J. Trump]], post on Truth Social, &quot;Trump warns Iran of unprecedented force if it retaliates&quot; (Feb 28, 2026) {{w|Reuters}}.

*I think the war is very complete, pretty much. [Iran has] no navy, no communications, they've got no air force. Their missiles are down to a scatter. Their drones are being blown up all over the place, including their manufacturing of drones.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-iran-cbs-news-the-war-is-very-complete-strait-hormuz/ &quot;Trump says 'the war is very complete,' and he's considering taking over Strait of Hormuz&quot;], ''CBS News'' (Mar 9 2026)

*US officials are posting fake news to manipulate narkets. It won't protect them from inflationary tsunami they've imposed on Americans Markets are facing biggest shortfall in HISTORY bigger than Arab Oil Embargo, Kuwait 
**[https://www.etemadonline.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%85%D9%84%D9%84-17/764878-%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%82%DA%86%DB%8C-%D9%88%D8%B2%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%AC%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7 Mr Iraqchi] (Mar 10 2026)

*If Iran does anything that stops the flow of Oil within the Strait of Hormuz, they will be hit by the United States of America TWENTY TIMES HARDER than they have been hit thus far. Additionally, we will take out easily destroyable targets that will make it virtually impossible for Iran to ever be built back, as a Nation, again - Death, Fire, and Fury will reign upon them - But I hope, and pray, that it does not happen! This is a gift from the United States of America to China, and all of those Nations that heavily use the Hormuz Strait. Hopefully, it is a gesture that will be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your attention to this matter! President DONALD J. TRUMP
**[https://x.com/WhiteHouse/status/2031167037620236703 Trump on TruthSocial] (10 March 2026)

*Most definitely we are not seeking ceasefire we will break zionist life cycle of war-negotiations-ceasefire and then war again forever
**Moahamedbagher Ghabilaf[https://www.etemadonline.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-9/764797-%D8%A2%D8%AA%D8%B4-%D8%A8%D8%B3-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86- %D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%A6%DB%8C%D9%84 ] (Mar 10 2026)

*Take Bahrain back! Annex it
**MP Aytallah Resaei Hamid[https://www.khabarfoori.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-59/3200147-%DB%8C%DA%A9-%D9%86%D9%85%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86%D8%AF%D9%87-%D9%85%D8%AC%D9%84%D8%B3-%D8%A8%D8%AD%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D9%BE%D8%B3-%D8%A8%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%85 ], 12 March 2026

*I have seen his body after martyred, I heard he clenched his fist.You people have led the country. The will of the masses is to continue the effective and regrettable defense. Certainly, the leverage of blocking the Strait of Hormuz should still be used. Neighboring countries must make their position clear to the aggressors against our country... In any case, we will demand compensation from the enemy; if they refuse, we will seize as much of their property as we determine; if that is not possible, we will destroy as much of their property as we can.
**Mojtaba Khamenei (12 March 2026)[https://www.irna.ir/news/86100475/%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B9%D8%B8%D9%85-%D8%A7%D9%86%D9%82%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%AA%D8%A7%DA%A9%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D9%86%D9%82%D8%B4-%D9%88-%D8%AD%D8%B6%D9%88%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%85-%D8%AD%D8%B6%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%B5%D8%AD%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF ][https://www.khabarfoori.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-59/3200277-%D8%B4%D9%85%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%85-%DA%A9%D8%B4%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AE%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%B4%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B4%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%B5%D8%B1%D9%81-%D9%86%D8%B8%D8%B1-%D9%86%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%85-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF-%D9%87%D9%85%DA%86%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AA%D9%86%DA%AF%D9%87-%D9%87%D8%B1%D9%85%D8%B2-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%87-%D8%A8%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%B9%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AF%D9%88%D8%B3%D8%AA%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D9%87%D9%85%D8%B3%D8%A7%DB%8C%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%DB%8C%D9%85 ]

*Aggression against soil of Iranian islands will shatter all restraint. We will abandon all restraint and make the Persian Gulf run with the blood of invaders.
**[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77477478/%D9%82%D8%A7%D9%84%DB%8C%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%81-%D9%87%D8%B1%DA%AF%D9%88%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%AA%D8%B9%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%D8%A7%DA%A9-%D8%AC%D8%B2%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D9%88%DB%8C%D8%B4%D9%86%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%AA%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D9%85%DB%8C], ''Qalibaf'' (12 March 2026)

*The [[United States]] is the largest Oil Producer in the World, by far, so when oil prices go up, we make a lot of money. BUT, of far greater interest and importance to me, as President, is stoping an evil Empire, Iran, from having Nuclear Weapons, and destroying the [[Middle East]] and, indeed, the World. I won’t ever let that happen!
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/iran-us-war-live-updates-supreme-leader-trump-oil-b2937272.html &quot;Iran-US war latest: Supreme leader statement threatens fresh attacks after UK base in Iraq hit by drone swarm&quot;], ''The Independent'' (12 March 2026)

*As long as America and Zionist exist humankind will not see quiet. To establish peace they must be destroyed
**Aytallah Khatami Imam Tehran [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77485962/%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%AA%D9%85%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%B5%D9%84%D8%AD-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B1%DA%98%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%B5%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%88%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%AF ][https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77487036/%D8%AA%D8%A7-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D9%88-%D8%B1%DA%98%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%B5%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%88%D9%86%DB%8C-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%86%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%B4%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D8%B1%D9%88%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%B4-%D9%86%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%D8%AF-%D8%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF] (13 March 2026)
*Just run!
**IRGC hebrew text [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77499999/%D8%AE%D8%B7%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%B3%D8%A7%DA%A9%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%B2%D9%85%DB%8C%D9%86-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B4%D8%BA%D8%A7%D9%84%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D9%84%D8%A7-%D9%81%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%B1-%DA%A9%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF ] (14 March 2026)
*If Americans do heliborne operation on taking over Khark Island we will attack their bases and take prisoners
**FM Manouchehr Motaki Iran negotiators [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77500152/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%AA%DA%A9%DB%8C-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7%DB%8C%DB%8C-%D9%87%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%D9%86%D8%AF-%D8%AC%D8%B2%DB%8C%D8%B1%D9%87-%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%B1%DA%A9-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B4%D8%BA%D8%A7%D9%84-%DA%A9%D9%86%D9%86%D8%AF ] (14 March 2026)
*If the [[2026 FIFA World Cup|World Cup]] games are in [[Mexico]] maybe we will go
**Minister of youth &amp; sport [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77499588/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%88%D8%B2%DB%8C%D8%B1-%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%B2%D8%B4-%D9%81%DB%8C%D9%81%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%DB%8C%D8%B2%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%87%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7], (14 March 2026)
*Countries in region are supposed to pay reparations for killing Khamenei. 
**VP Mohammed Mokhber [https://www.mehrnews.com/news/6774791/%D9%85%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1-%DA%A9%D8%B4%D9%88%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%85%D9%86%D8%B7%D9%82%D9%87-%D9%85%DA%A9%D9%84%D9%81-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AC%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AE%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%AA-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%86%D8%AF] (14 March 2026)
*When I feel it. When I feel it in my bones.
**[[President Trump]] quoted when asked when the war will end: [https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/trump-says-iran-war-will-end-when-i-feel-it-in-my-bones_uk_69b57775e4b09d87d0277fa2 &quot;Trump Says Iran War Will End 'When I Feel It In My Bones'&quot;], ''Huffington Post'' (14 March 2026)
*It's a little unfair. You win a war, but they have no right to be doing what they're doing.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c70k29914q4o &quot;Surge in US petrol prices deepens political peril for Trump over Iran&quot;], ''BBC News'' (17 March 2026)
*Because of the fact that we have had such Military Success, we no longer “need,” or desire, the NATO Countries’ assistance — WE NEVER DID! Likewise, Japan, Australia, or South Korea. In fact, speaking as President of the United States of America, by far the Most Powerful Country Anywhere in the World, WE DO NOT NEED THE HELP OF ANYONE! 
**[https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116245182325726375 Donald Trump on Truth Social] (17 Mar 2026)

*[[Israel]], out of anger for what has taken place in the Middle East, has violently lashed out at a major facility known as South Pars Gas Field in Iran. A relatively small section of the whole has been hit. The United States knew nothing about this particular attack, and the country of [[Qatar]] was in no way, shape, or form, involved with it, nor did it have any idea that it was going to happen. Unfortunately, Iran did not know this, or any of the pertinent facts pertaining to the South Pars attack, and unjustifiably and unfairly attacked a portion of Qatar’s LNG Gas facility. NO MORE ATTACKS WILL BE MADE BY ISRAEL pertaining to this extremely important and valuable South Pars Field unless Iran unwisely decides to attack a very innocent, in this case, Qatar - In which instance the United States of America, with or without the help or consent of Israel, will massively blow up the entirety of the South Pars Gas Field at an amount of strength and power that Iran has never seen or witnessed before. I do not want to authorize this level of violence and destruction because of the long term implications that it will have on the future of Iran, but if Qatar’s LNG is again attacked, I will not hesitate to do so. 
**[[Donald Trump]] on [https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116253388303392718 Truth Social] (Mar 19, 2026)

* Iranian missiles do not differentiate between Muslim and Christian and Jew and whichever religion, they're out there to kill anybody because they feel everybody who doesn't accept their belief is an infidel.
**Israeli President [[Isaac Herzog]] following the 2026 Beit Awwa salon strike in the West Bank. (Mar 19, 2026)[https://www.jpost.com/middle-east/iran-news/article-890479]

*We are getting very close to meeting our objectives as we consider winding down our great Military efforts in the Middle East with respect to the Terrorist Regime of [[Iran]]: (1) Completely degrading Iranian Missile Capability, Launchers, and everything else pertaining to them. (2) Destroying Iran’s Defense Industrial Base. (3) Eliminating their Navy and Air Force, including Anti Aircraft Weaponry. (4) Never allowing Iran to get even close to Nuclear Capability, and always being in a position where the U.S.A. can quickly and powerfully react to such a situation, should it take place. (5) Protecting, at the highest level, our Middle Eastern Allies, including [[Israel]], [[Saudi Arabia]], [[Qatar]], the [[United Arab Emirates]], [[w:Bahrain|Bahrain]], [[Kuwait]], and others. The [[w:Hormuz Strait|Hormuz Strait]] will have to be guarded and policed, as necessary, by other Nations who use it — The United States does not! 
**[[Donald Trump]] on [https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116263563453969628 Truth Social] (Mar 20, 2026)

[[File:Strait of Hormuz.jpg|thumb|Strait of Hormuz]]
*If Iran doesn’t FULLY OPEN, WITHOUT THREAT, the [[w:Strait of Hormuz|Strait of Hormuz]], within 48 HOURS from this exact point in time, the United States of America will hit and obliterate their various POWER PLANTS, STARTING WITH THE BIGGEST ONE FIRST!
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/clyxv87zwwpo &quot;Trump at a crossroads as US weighs tough options in Iran&quot;], ''BBC News'' (21 March 2026)

*In difficult times like these, when events seem both confused and confusing, [[Mark Twain]]’s “broken fragments of antique legends” can remind us of historical analogies like the collapse of the power and influence of [[Great Britain]] or of the [[Soviet Union]] that can help us understand how the past often whispers to the present — as it indeed seems to be doing these days in the [[Strait of Hormuz]].
** [[Alfred W. McCoy]], [https://inkstickmedia.com/how-the-iran-war-gave-trump-his-very-own-suez-crisis/ &quot;How the Iran War Gave Trump His Very Own Suez Crisis&quot;] (21 March 2026)

*No countries that are [[North Atlantic Treaty Organization|NATO]] allies that have been bullied by Trump are going to be willing… to go on this suicide mission for someone who is an asshole to them.
**Adam Mockler from [[w:MeidasTouch|MeidasTouch]] quoted telling [[CNN]] in [https://inews.co.uk/news/world/trump-iran-gamble-failed-americas-allies-pay-it-4309972 &quot;Trump’s Iran gamble has failed – and America’s allies will pay for it&quot;], ''iNews'' (March 22, 2026)

*Maybe me. Me and the ayatollah, whoever the ayatollah is, whoever the next ayatollah is. There’s automatically a regime change, but we’re dealing with some people that I find to be very reasonable, very solid. The people within know who they are. They’re very respected, and maybe one of them will be exactly what we’re looking for.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted on who would control the [[w:Strait of Hormuz|Strait of Hormuz]] in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/trump-ayatollah-joint-leadership-hormuz-b2944024.html &quot;Trump proposes extraordinary ‘joint leadership’ of Iran alongside ayatollah&quot;], ''Independent'' (23 March 2026)

*No negotiations have been held with the US, and fake news is used to manipulate the financial and oil markets and escape the quagmire in which the US and Israel are trapped.
**[[w:Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf|Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf]] quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/trump-ayatollah-joint-leadership-hormuz-b2944024.html &quot;Trump proposes extraordinary ‘joint leadership’ of Iran alongside ayatollah&quot;], ''Independent'' (23 March 2026)

*Because they’re going to make a deal. They did something yesterday that was amazing, actually. They gave us a present. And the present arrived today. And it was a very big present worth a tremendous amount of money. And I’m not going to tell you what that present is, but it was a very significant prize.… That meant one thing to me—we’re dealing with the right people.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted on negotiations with [[Iran]] in [https://www.newsbreak.com/the-new-republic-1991457/4556482986909-trump-says-he-changed-his-mind-after-iran-gave-very-big-present &quot;Trump Says He Changed His Mind After Iran Gave 'Very Big Present'&quot;], ''Newsbreak'' (24 March 2026)

*Has the level of your inner ⁠struggle reached the stage ⁠of you negotiating with yourself?
**Iranian Ebrahim Zolfaqari's rhetorical question to Donald Trump quoted in [https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2026/3/25/us-talking-to-itself-says-iran-as-trump-claims-wheels-of-diplomacy-turning &quot;US talking to itself, says Iran as Trump claims wheels of diplomacy turning&quot;], ''Al Jazeera'' (25 March 2026)

* The enemy signals negotiation in public, while in secret it plots a ground attack. Our firing continues. Our missiles are in place. Our determination and faith have increased. [Iranian forces] are waiting for the arrival of American troops on the ground to set them on fire and punish their regional partners for ever.
** Iranian parliament speaker, [[w:Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf|Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf]], quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/mar/29/iran-accuses-us-plotting-ground-assault-publicly-seeking-talks &quot;Iran accuses US of plotting ground assault while publicly seeking talks&quot;], ''Guardian'' (29 March 2026)

*This is our God: Jesus, king of peace, who rejects war, whom no one can use to justify war. He does not listen to the prayers of those who wage war, but rejects them.
* ([[Isaiah]] 1:15) ‘Even though you make many prayers, I will not listen: your hands are full of blood.’
**[[Pope Leo XIV]] quoting ''Book of Isaiah'', reported in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cje4x38q8xqt?post=asset%3A58d1f907-b13b-443a-b413-d7741b63b566 &quot;'Hands full of blood': Pope Leo seemingly criticises those involved in war&quot;], ''BBC News'' (29 March 2026)

===Apr 2026===
[[File:Gas prices Sonoma, California April 7 2026.jpg|thumb|Trump: We will consider when Hormuz Strait is open, free, and clear. Until then, we are blasting Iran into oblivion or, as they say, back to the Stone Ages.]]
*We're finishing the job, and I think within maybe two weeks, maybe a couple of days longer, to do the job. But we want to knock out every single thing they have. Now, it's possible that we'll make a deal before that.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://newsroom.ap.org/editorial-photos-videos/detail?itemid=ad13f6002bde4e30befd5495f58499d9 &quot;Trump: US could leave Iran in 2 to 3 weeks, securing Strait of Hormuz is 'not for us'&quot;], ''AP News'' (Apr 1, 2026)

*We will consider [a ceasefire] when [[w:Hormuz Strait|Hormuz Strait]] is open, free, and clear. Until then, we are blasting [[Iran]] into oblivion or, as they say, back to the Stone Ages.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-iran-speech-stone-age-b2950116.html &quot;Trump threatens both Iran and NATO allies ahead of primetime address on war: ‘Back to the Stone Ages’&quot;], ''Independent'' (Apr 1, 2026)

*If hostility escalates, the entire region will turn into hell for you; the illusion of defeating the Islamic Republic of Iran will become a quagmire into which you will sink.
**[[w:Ebrahim Zolfaghari|Ebrahim Zolfaghari]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c5y90jl8veyo US and &quot;Iran trade threats to unleash 'hell' as search for missing US airman continues&quot;], ''BBC News'' (4 April 2026)

*In the attempt to try to prevent Iran from developing a weapon of mass destruction, the US handed Iran a weapon of mass disruption.
**Ali Vaez, quoted in [https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/us-intelligence-warns-iran-unlikely-ease-hormuz-strait-chokehold-soon-sources-2026-04-03/ Reuters]

*Tuesday will be Power Plant Day, and Bridge Day, all wrapped up in one, in Iran. There will be nothing like it!!! Open the Fuckin' Strait, you crazy bastards, or you'll be living in Hell - JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah. President DONALD J. TRUMP
**[https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvg0q6wdzp1o Trump issues expletive-laden threat to Iran over Hormuz Strait blockage], ''BBC News'' (5 April 2026)

* Subject to the Islamic Republic of Iran agreeing to the COMPLETE, IMMEDIATE, and SAFE OPENING of the Strait of Hormuz, I agree to suspend the bombing and attack of Iran for a period of two weeks
** [[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/apr/07/trump-iran-war-ceasefire US and Iran agree to provisional ceasefire as Tehran says it will reopen strait of Hormuz], ''The Guardian'' (8 April 2026 )

* If attacks against Iran are halted, our Powerful Armed Forces will cease their defensive operations. For a period of two weeks, safe passage through the Strait of Hormuz will be possible via coordination with Iran's Armed Forces and with due consideration of technical limitations.
** Iran’s foreign minister, [[w:Abbas Araghchi|Abbas Araghchi]] quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/apr/07/trump-iran-war-ceasefire &quot;US and Iran agree to provisional ceasefire as Tehran says it will reopen strait of Hormuz&quot;], ''The Guardian'' (8 April 2026 )

* The Iranians don’t seem to realize they have no cards, other than a short term extortion of the World by using International Waterways. The only reason they are alive today is to negotiate!
** [[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/apr/10/jd-vance-warns-iran-against-trying-to-play-the-us-in-peace-talks &quot;JD Vance warns Iran against trying to ‘play’ the US in peace talks&quot;], ''The Guardian'' (10 April 2026 )

*The simple question is, do we see a fundamental commitment of will for the Iranians not to develop a nuclear weapon, not just now, not just two years from now, but for the long term. We haven’t seen that yet.
**[[JD Vance]]  quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/iran-us-peace-talks-vance-trump-b2956013.html &quot;Why the US-Iran peace talks failed after just one day – and what happens next&quot;], ''The Independent'' (12 April 2026)

* We’re going to clean out the strait.
**[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/5827840-trump-navy-strait-hormuz-blockade/ &quot;US military will ‘clean out’ Strait of Hormuz: Trump&quot;], ''The Hill'' (12 April 2026)

* We’re very disappointed with [[NATO]], we’re very, very disappointed that they didn’t come. Now, they want to come and they want to help with the strait.
**Trump quoted in [https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/5827840-trump-navy-strait-hormuz-blockade/ &quot;US military will ‘clean out’ Strait of Hormuz: Trump&quot;], ''The Hill'' (12 April 2026)

[[File:Straße von Hormuz.jpg|thumb|Trump - Iran has agreed to never close the Strait of Hormuz again]]

* In line with the ceasefire in Lebanon, the passage for all commercial vessels through [the] [[w:Strait of Hormuz|Strait of Hormuz]] is declared completely open for the remaining period of ceasefire, on the coordinated route as already announced by Ports and Maritime Organisation of the Islamic Rep. of Iran.
** Iran Foreign Minister [[w:Abbas Araghchi|Abbas Araghchi]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cqxdg17yr2wt Iran says Strait of Hormuz is 'open' as Trump says US blockade will continue until deal reached], ''BBC News'' (Apr 17, 2026)

* [[Iran]] has agreed to never close the Strait of Hormuz again. It will no longer be used as a weapon against the World!
** [https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116420562510387829 Donald Trump on Truth Social] (Apr 17, 2026)

* Based on the fact that the Government of [[Iran]] is seriously fractured, not unexpectedly so and, upon the request of Field Marshal Asim Munir, and Prime Minister [[w:Shehbaz Sharif|Shehbaz Sharif]], of [[Pakistan]], we have been asked to hold our Attack on the Country of Iran until such time as their leaders and representatives can come up with a unified proposal. I have therefore directed our Military to continue the Blockade and, in all other respects, remain ready and able, and will therefore extend the Ceasefire until such time as their proposal is submitted, and discussions are concluded, one way or the other.
** [[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cx297218m9vt &quot;Iran says reopening Strait of Hormuz 'impossible' if US blockade continues&quot;], ''BBC News'' (Apr 22, 2026)

* We are all 'Iranian' and 'revolutionary,' and with the iron unity of the nation and government, with complete obedience to the Supreme Leader. We will make the aggressor criminal regret his actions.
** Iran's President {{w|Masoud Pezeshkian}} quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c0mjev4kn9jt?page=2 &quot;Trump says Israel-Lebanon ceasefire extended by three weeks, but he won't 'rush' Iran deal&quot;], ''BBC News'' (Apr 24, 2026)

===May 2026===
*Iran has taken some shots at unrelated Nations with respect to the Ship Movement, PROJECT FREEDOM, including a South Korean Cargo Ship. Perhaps it’s time for South Korea to come and join the mission!{{Pbri}}We’ve shot down seven small Boats or, as they like to call them, “fast” Boats. It’s all they have left. Other than the South Korean Ship, there has been, at this moment, no damage going through the Strait. Secretary of War Pete Hegseth and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Dan Caine, will have a News Conference tomorrow morning.
** [https://truthsocial.com/@realdonaldtrump Trump Truth Social Truth], 4 May 2026 
*Countries from all over the World. almost all of which are not involved in the Middle Eastern dispute going on so visibly, and violently, for all to see, have asked the United States if we could help free up their Ships. which are locked up in the Strait of Hormuz, on something which they have absolutely nothing to do with - They are merely neutral and innocent bystanders! For the good of Iran, the Middle East, and the United States, we have told these Countries that we will guide their Ships safely out of these restricted Waterways, so that they can freely and ably get on with their business. Again, these are Ships from areas of the World that are not in any way involved with that which is currently taking place in the Middle East. I have told my Representatives to inform them that we will use best efforts to get their Ships and Crews safely out of the Strait. In all cases, they said they will not be returning until the area becomes safe for navigation, and everything else. This process, '''Project Freedom''', will begin Monday morning, Middle East time. I am fully aware that my Representatives are having very positive discussions with the Country of Iran, and that these discussions could lead to something very positive for all. The Ship movement is merely meant to free up people, companies, and Countries that have done absolutely nothing wrong - They are victims of circumstance. This is a Humanitarian gesture on behalf of the United States, Middle Eastern Countries but, in particular, the Country of Iran. Many of these Ships are running low on food, and everything else necessary for large scale crews to stay on board in a healthy and sanitary manner. I think it would go a long way in showing Goodwill on behalf of all of those who have been fighting so strenuously over the last number of months. If, in any way, this Humanitarian process is interfered with, that interference will, unfortunately, have to be dealt with forcefully. Thank you for your attention to this matter!
**[https://truthsocial.com/@realdonaldtrump Trump Truth Social Truth]
*Quranic verdict of Zarif and Rouhani is execution definitely indeed
**Qasemian[https://www.khabaronline.ir/news/2213690/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%82%D8%A7%D8%B3%D9%85%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AD%DA%A9%D9%85-%D9%82%D8%B1%D8%A2%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D8%B8%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%81-%D9%88-%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%AD%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D9%82%D8%B7%D8%B9%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B9%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%85 ]19:05, (3 May 2026)
* Do you take out your wife, sister and wife so that unmarried men can look? There is a law, the parliament has approved it. I advise these women who come out without hijab: gather yourself. If these people decide, they will destroy your life. Netanyahu kills people, you beat people's opinion. They come again and appear in the square and street. Will you bring your sister and this woman so that the eyes of non-mahram men will fall on her situation?
**[https://www.khabaronline.ir/news/2213662/%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%87-%D8%B1%D8%B4%D8%AA-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%85-%D8%AA%D8%B5%D9%85%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%A8%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AF-%D8%AF%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%B2%DA%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%A8%DB%8C-%D8%AD%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D9%87%D8%A7 Imam Juma Rasht] (3 May 2026)

* Operation Epic Fury is concluded. We achieved the objectives of that operation.
** [[Marco Rubio]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c1wz2ld4535t US &quot;Secretary of State Marco Rubio says offensive stage of Iran war is 'over'&quot;], ''BBC News'' (4 May 2026)

* Based on the request of [[Pakistan]] and other Countries, the tremendous Military Success that we have had during the Campaign against the Country of Iran and, additionally, the fact that Great Progress has been made toward a Complete and Final Agreement with Representatives of Iran, we have mutually agreed that, while the Blockade will remain in full force and effect, Project Freedom (The Movement of Ships through the Strait of Hormuz) will be paused for a short period of time to see whether or not the Agreement can be finalized and signed. 
** Trump quoted in  [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c152zyj0599t &quot;Trump says US will pause operation to guide ships through Strait of Hormuz&quot;], ''BBC News'' (6 May 2026)

* We have such a great military and great navy. And they were going straight through, and they said, “Turn your ship around!”. And there was no response. “Turn your ship around! Evacuate your engine room immediately!” And you see all these guys running out of there. Now, they’re five miles away — in one shot, into the engine room, blew up the engine room; the ship stopped, and they used tugboats. And then we landed on top of it — on top of everything else — we then land on top of it. And '''we took over the ship; we took over the cargo, took over the oil. It’s a very profitable business'''. Who would have thought we were doing that? '''We’re like pirates. We’re sort of like pirates'''. But we’re not playing games.
** Trump quoted in [https://geopoliticaleconomy.com/2026/05/09/trump-pirates-iran-ships-china-us-sanctions/ Trump boasts ‘we’re like pirates’, seizing Iran’s ships, as China challenges US sanctions]. Geopolitical Economy Report. (9 May 2026)

* We will never bow our heads before the enemy, and if talk of dialogue or negotiation arises, it does not mean surrender or retreat.
** Iranian President [[w:Masoud Pezeshkian|Masoud Pezeshkian]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/clypgz9e5pmo &quot;Trump calls Iran response to US proposal to end war 'totally unacceptable&quot;], ''BBC News'' (10 May 2026)

* 1. They martyred the great and devoted leader of the Islamic Revolution; 2. No Muslim country came to Iran aid. What sort of Islam is this .. what kind of Muslimhoodness is this; 3.Iran continues to resist the big and small Satan (America and Israel); 4. On one side of today's battle are America and Israel, and on the other side are Muslim Iran and the resistance forces. Which side are you; 5. Think about the future of the Islamic world. You know that America is not loyal to you and Israel is your enemy. Think for a minute about yourself and the future of the region;  6. Unity of the Islamic Ummah with all its power can provide and guarantee the security, excellence and independence of countries for everyone
**letter to 6 countries Larijani[https://fa.alalam.ir/news/7428293/%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%87-%DB%B6-%D8%A8%D9%86%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D8%B7%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D9%85%D8%B3%D9%84%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AC%D9%87%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%88-%D8%AF%D9%88%D9%84%D8%AA-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%85%DB%8C ]
*If you want Internet, pack and get up, leave your things, go to Afghanistan, live where there is Internet.
**IRIB anchor man [https://fararu.com/fa/news/970808/%D8%B4%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B2%DB%8C-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86%D8%AA%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AA-5g-%D8%A7%D9%81%D8%BA%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D9%88%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%87%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AC%D8%A7-%D8%B2%D9%86%D8%AF%DA%AF%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF ]p
*Like a rogue gang, the Iranian regime is pillaging resources that rightfully belong to the Iraqi people. Treasury will not stand idly by as Iran's military exploits Iraqi oil to fund terrorism against the United States and our partners.
**[https://twitter.com/SecScottBessent/status/2052447601304178863?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw Bessent]
*God's order to fight Fitne. Israel is to be wiped out. Division causes failure against enemies 
**Imam Karaj[https://www.imna.ir/news/971477/%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%87-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AC-%D8%A7%D8%AE%D8%AA%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%81-%D8%A7%D9%81%DA%A9%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%B2%D9%85%DB%8C%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%B4%DA%A9%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D8%AF%D8%B4%D9%85%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA ][https://www.didbaniran.ir/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-3/284228-%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%87-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AC-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%AE%D8%AF%D8%A7-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%DA%A9%D9%87-%D8%AA%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%B1%D9%81%D8%AA%D9%86-%D9%81%D8%AA%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%A8%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AF%D8%B4%D9%85%D9%86-%D8%A7%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%B2%D9%87-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B2%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%B2%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%AF%D8%B4-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D9%86%D8%AF%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%85 ]
*Report of high Damage of internet blackout from government is greatly exaggerated.
**[https://www.zoomit.ir/iran-news/459800-denies-exaggerated-internet-outage-claims/] MP of Tehran 18:28, 15 May 2026 (UTC)~

*Trump is hopeless and desperate he went to begging China for no result. He will not be satisfied until Iran is destroyed.
**[https://www.khabaronline.ir/news/2219513/%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%87-%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%84-%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%BE-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AA%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%B3-%D8%A8%D9%87-%DA%86%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%86%D8%AA%DB%8C%D8%AC%D9%87-%D9%86%DA%AF%D8%B1%D9%81%D8%AA Ayatollah Imam Ardebil] (15 May 2026)

*China encourages the US and Iran to continue resolving their differences and disputes, including the nuclear issue, through negotiations, and advocates the swift reopening of the Strait of Hormuz on the basis of maintaining a ceasefire
**Chinese FM Wang in [https://aa.com.tr/en/asia-pacific/chinese-top-diplomat-urges-diplomacy-on-iran-after-trump-xi-summit/3938851] (15 May 2026)

*The most important issue today is trust. We cannot trust the Americans in any way
**[https://en.mehrnews.com/news/244536/Araghchi-holds-presser-in-New-Delhi], Iraqchi (15 May 2026)

*We’ve taken out much of what we’d have to do, probably another two weeks, two weeks, maybe three weeks I’m very torn on it, because they lost 42,000 people in the first two weeks. I don’t really want to see that You can’t have an unarmed population against people with AK-47s The Iranian people have to have guns and I think they’re getting some guns.


As soon as they have guns, they’ll fight like as good as anybody there is.
**President Trump 07:48, 22 May 2026 (UTC)~~[https://www.iranintl.com/en/202605057012 ]
*They can either agree to a piece of paper that is satisfactory to the United States, or they can face a punishment from our military, the likes of which has not been seen in modern history. That’s the choice that they face
**Miller [https://unb.com.bd/category/World/trump-official-warns-iran-of-unprecedented-military-action-over-deal-holdout/186431 ] 07:48, 22 May 2026 (UTC)~

*Our American issue solves when they surely get the powerfulness we have , and they can't do anything against us
**Mohamed Mkokhber[https://www.khabaronline.ir/news/2222394/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%AA%D8%AD%D9%84%DB%8C%D9%84-%D9%85%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D8%AF%D8%B1%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B1%D9%87-%D8%B2%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AD%D9%84-%D8%B4%D8%AF%D9%86-%D9%85%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%A6%D9%84-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7 ] 07:48, 22 May 2026 (UTC)~~
* Matchmaking booths had been set up at rallies in Tehran, allowing young men and women to register for introductions under what organizers call “easy marriage.
**Fars[https://www.iranintl.com/en/202605215847 ]
*It's a possibility Iran we can go around ceasefire 
**[https://www.khabaronline.ir/news/2222363/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B9%D8%B6%D9%88-%DA%A9%D9%85%DB%8C%D8%B3%DB%8C%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D9%85%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%85%D8%AC%D9%84%D8%B3-%D8%A7%D8%AD%D8%AA%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%84-%D8%B9%D8%A8%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A2%D8%AA%D8%B4-%D8%A8%D8%B3-%D8%A7%D8%B2 ] National security Islamic Cunsultative Assembly MP 07:48, 22 May 2026 (UTC)~
*Trying to prohibit Iranians in LA from bringing the Lion and Sun flag into the stadium is like trying to prevent Americans from bringing the U.S. flag into an American stadium. It would cause mass unrest.

“World Cup matches best illustrate the passion Iranian-Americans feel for their homeland and the contempt they feel toward the Iranian government. Waving the Lion and Sun flag is simultaneously a show of support for the national team and a protest against the regime
**[https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/7288376/2026/05/19/world-cup-fifa-iran-flag/ NYTimes] 07:48, 22 May 2026 (UTC)~~

*This is not good timing for me, I have a thing called Iran and other things
**Trump 07:48, 22 May 2026 (UTC)~ [https://www.iranintl.com/en/202605214172#:~:text=US%20President%20Donald%20Trump%20said,called%20Iran%20and%20other%20things.%E2%80%9D ]
== See also ==
* [[Iran]]
* [[Israel]]
* [[Middle East]]
* [[Second presidency of Donald Trump]]
* [[Might makes right]]

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{Commons category}}
* [https://www.bbc.com BBC coverage of 2026 Iran conflict]
* [https://www.aljazeera.com/news Al Jazeera: Iran crisis coverage]

[[Category:2026]]
[[Category:2020s in Iran]]
[[Category:Wars and battles]]
[[Category:Arab-Israeli conflict]]</text>
      <sha1>m1edtknip1pfre0ri3lqx1epclfkg5k</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Mike Johnson</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>304742</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943852</id>
      <parentid>3904901</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T12:00:29Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Joreberg</username>
        <id>323041</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Quotes */ Let Congress members engage in stock tradition to take care of their family</comment>
      <origin>3943852</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3382" sha1="oluckmbqoie7i58b9j76yy1o0c0i43i" xml:space="preserve">[[ File: Speaker Mike Johnson Official Portrait (cropped)(b).jpg | thumb | right | Mike Johnson, official portrait, 2024]]
'''[[w:Mike Johnson|James Michael Johnson]]''' (born January 30, 1972) is an American lawyer and politician serving as the 56th [[w:speaker of the United States House of Representatives|speaker of the United States House of Representatives]] since 2023.  A member of the [[Republican Party (United States)|Republican Party]], as of 2026 he is in his fifth House term, having represented [[w:Louisiana's 4th congressional district|Louisiana's 4th congressional district]] since 2017.

== Quotes == 
* The climate is changing, but the question is, is it being caused by natural cycles over the span of the Earth’s history? Or is it changing because we drive SUVs? I don’t believe in the latter. I don’t think that’s the primary driver.
** [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/oct/25/who-is-mike-johnson-house-speaker-election-denier-climate-anti-abortion &quot;Election denier, climate skeptic, anti-abortion: seven beliefs of new US House speaker Mike Johnson&quot;] ''The Guardian'' (October 25, 2023)

* Homosexual relationships are inherently unnatural and, the studies clearly show, are ultimately harmful and costly for everyone.  Society cannot give its stamp of approval to such a dangerous lifestyle. If we change marriage for this tiny, modern minority, we will have to do it for every deviant group. Polygamists, polyamorists, pedophiles, and others will be next in line to claim equal protection. They already are. There will be no legal basis to deny a bisexual the right to marry a partner of each sex, or a person to marry his pet.
** [https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-politics-and-policy/mike-johnson-house-speaker-lgbtq-views-scrutiny-rcna122317 &quot;New House speaker's views on LGBTQ issues come under fresh scrutiny&quot;] ''NBC News'' (October 26, 2023)

* There is no right to abortion in the Constitution.
** [https://www.hrc.org/press-releases/roundup-speaker-mike-johnsons-extreme-record-dominates-coverage &quot;ROUNDUP: Speaker Mike Johnson’s Extreme Record Dominates Coverage&quot;] ''Human Rights Campaign'' (November 1, 2023)

* Pick up a Bible off your shelf and read it—that is my world view.
** [https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2024/03/25/mike-johnson-profile &quot;Mike Johnson, the First Proudly Trumpian Speaker&quot;] ''The New Yorker'' (March 25, 2026)

* The salary of Congress has been frozen since 2009. When you adjust for inflation, a member of Congress today is making 31% less than they made that year. 
* At least let them engage in some stock trading so they can continue to, you know, take care of their family. 
** Said about the base yearly salary of USD 174,000 for most US Senators, Representatives and Delegates, quoted in [https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/fact-check-videos-spreading-mike-100000019.html &quot;Fact Check: Videos spreading Mike Johnson quote about members of Congress engaging in 'some stock trading' omit key context&quot;] ''Snopes / Yahoo News (May 19, 2026)

==External links==
{{wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Johnson, Mike}}
[[Category:1972 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Republican Party (United States) politicians]]
[[Category:Nationalists]]
[[Category:Speakers of the United States House of Representatives]]
[[Category:Lawyers from the United States]]
[[Category:Politicians from Louisiana]]</text>
      <sha1>oluckmbqoie7i58b9j76yy1o0c0i43i</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>The Pitt</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>304847</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944071</id>
      <parentid>3942453</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T22:44:32Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Lanway</username>
        <id>2336193</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>/* 2:00 P.M. [1.08] */</comment>
      <origin>3944071</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="71932" sha1="flqgroomcwuqtq2pgyxdzjc9xub68as" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
[[File:The Pitt Max series logo.png|thumb]]
'''''[[w:The Pitt|The Pitt]]''''' (2025–) is an American [[w:medical drama|medical]] [[w:procedural drama|procedural drama]] television series created by [[w:R. Scott Gemmill|R. Scott Gemmill]], and executive produced by [[w:John Wells (filmmaker)|John Wells]] and [[w:Noah Wyle|Noah Wyle]]. It is about the daily lives of healthcare professionals in a Pittsburgh hospital as they juggle personal crises, workplace politics, and the emotional toll of treating critically ill patients, revealing the resilience required in their noble calling.

== Season 1 ==
=== ''7:00 A.M.'' [1.01] ===
:''[Robby introduces his newest group of medical students and interns to the key players of his emergency department day shift]''
:'''Dr. Michael &quot;Robby&quot; Robinavitch''': Actually, this is the most important person that you're gonna meet today. This is Dana. She's our charge nurse. She is the ringleader of our circus. Do what she says, when she says it. As you can see, our house is always packed, and our department is mostly clogged up with boarders. Those are admitted patients waiting for a room upstairs, sometimes for days. Beds are a very precious commodity around here, so please be quick and efficient with your workups. What else? We treat the sicker patients back here, but please keep your eye on that waiting room. Make sure nobody's gonna die out there. Your senior residents are Dr. Collins and Dr. Langdon. You report to them, and they report to me. Senior residents, you got your sign-outs?
:'''Dr. Heather Collins''': Yep.
:'''Dr. Frank Langdon''': Yep.
:'''Robby''': OK. Let's do this.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dr. Cassie McKay''': Patients, they check in for registration here. A nurse eyeballs them, makes sure they're not dying. If not, they're moved to one of two triage rooms for vitals and a quick chair exam where you can order your labs and your X-rays. And then they come back to Waiting room, until a bed opens up.
:'''MS3 Victoria Javadi''': For how long?
:'''McKay''': Eight hours, if they're lucky. A lot of times, 12.
:'''MS4 Dennis Whitaker''': Uh, is it always this busy?
:'''McKay''': Uh, no. It gets a lot busier.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gloria Underwood''': We need to talk about your numbers.
:'''Robby''': Of people we've saved?
:'''Gloria''': Metrics.
:'''Robby''': Our door-to-balloon times beat federal standards.
:'''Gloria''': I'm talking about Press Ganey scores. Patient satisfaction.
:'''Robby''': If they're still alive, they should be satisfied.
:'''Gloria''': Our goal is 36% very satisfied with their care. Your department is at 8%. Do you know how likely patients are to recommend this hospital?
:'''Robby''': This is an emergency department, not a Taco Bell.
:'''Gloria''': 11%.
:'''Robby''': Well, if you want people to be happier, don't make 'em wait for 12 hours.
:'''Gloria''': There's a nursing shortage across the country.
:'''Robby''': Most of our patients are boarders who are waiting for a bed upstairs.
:'''Gloria''': We don't have the beds.
:'''Robby''': That's bullshit. The beds are up there. You just don't want to hire the staff you need to care for them.
:'''Gloria''': Like I said, there's a nursing shortage.
:'''Robby''': Well, if you paid them a living wage, they'd be lining up to work here.
:'''Gloria''': Our budget can't support that.
:'''Robby''': ''[laughs]'' Here's a dirty little secret. The hospital saves money keeping patients down here in the Pitt. It's way cheaper than staffing upstairs.
:'''Gloria''': I have asked you repeatedly to stop referring to the emergency department as the Pitt. It is derogatory and incompatible to the institution's image.
:'''Robby''': You know what's incompatible with the institution's image? Me speaking to the media about people who code in our waiting rooms and people who get shitty care in our hallways waiting for an ICU bed for days.
:'''Gloria''': I've heard about doctors who have tried that and find themselves out of work.
:'''Robby''': Uh-huh.
:'''Gloria''': I know today is difficult for you.
:'''Robby''': Every day is difficult down here.
:'''Gloria''': Boarding is a nationwide problem. Your predecessor, Adamson, sure as hell knew that. Or wasn't that something he taught you?
:'''Robby''': Fuck. Wow. Really?
:'''Gloria''': Yes, really. Other hospitals are managing this crisis much more effectively. So, you can either step up your game, or you can step aside.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Otis Williams''': Am I gonna be OK?
:'''McKay''': Yeah. You just need to take it easy on yourself. Muscle breakdown and [[w:myoglobin|myoglobin]] damaged your kidneys.
:'''Otis Williams''': Why'd you shock my heart?
:'''McKay''': When your kidneys don't work, potassium builds up and messes with the electrical activity in your heart.
:'''Otis Williams''': Can it happen again?
:'''McKay''': We gave you medicine to lower your potassium, and you'll need dialysis to clear it all out.
:'''Otis Williams''': Then I'll be OK?
:'''McKay''': Yeah. You might need a week or two for your kidneys to recover, but yeah. You really need to hydrate like crazy before and after a triathlon.
:'''Otis Williams''': Trust me, I won't let this happen again.
:'''McKay''': Good. Be kind to yourself.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Robby''': One of the things we do here is to take a moment of silence when we lose a patient, to respect their humanity. And also to remember that this was somebody's child, or sibling, or parent, or friend.

=== ''8:00 A.M.'' [1.02] ===
:'''Gloria''': Is it true? ...
:'''Robinavitch''': You have to be more specific.
:'''Gloria''': Are there rats in the ED?
:'''Robinavitch''': Apparently, if somebody already snitched!
:'''Gloria''': Do you know how bad this looks? One more reason to shutter this place. Only the emergency department admits rats.
:'''Robinavitch''': Emergency department would never admit rats, unless they had the right insurance.
:'''Gloria''': Did you catch any of them?
:'''Robinavitch''': One, and I charged him for a full visit.
:'''Gloria''': I'm glad you think this is funny.
:'''Robinavitch''': I'm sorry that you don't.
:'''Gloria''': Did you call an exterminator?
:'''Robinavitch''': He's waiting on a second opinion.
:'''Gloria''': ''[chuckles]'' You're pushing your luck today.
:'''Robinavitch''': Don't worry. Last I heard, they were headed for the cafeteria, so they should be dead within the hour.
:'''Gloria''': OK.
:'''Robinavitch''': I'll be here all week.
:'''Gloria''': Or maybe not.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dana''': What's wrong with kids these days?
:'''Robinavitch''': Uh, you mean besides social media and the worldwide pandemic and the environmental crisis?
:'''Dana''': Yeah, yeah, yeah.
:'''Robinavitch''': And gun violence?
:'''Dana''': You're a fucking fountain of hope today, aren't you?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Robinavitch''': I got to go tell those parents their 18-year-old son is brain-dead.
:'''Collins''': Want me to come with you?
:'''Robinavitch''': No, It's OK.
:'''Collins''': What are you going to say?
:'''Robinavitch''': I'm going to say that it's likely, but we still need to do an [[w:apnea|apnea]] test and a [[w:Cerebral perfusion pressure|cerebral perfusion]] study.
:'''Collins''': There's no cranial nerve activity.
:'''Robinavitch''': Those people need some hope.
:'''Collins''': False hope.
:'''Robinavitch''': Hope is hope.
:'''Collins''': Is it? What, are we praying for miracles today?
:'''Robinavitch''': They need time to process before they can accept what's happening.
:'''Collins''': You ever consider taking that advice? Physician, heal thyself.
:'''Robinavitch''': Don't you have patients?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Robinavitch''': Why did you order the EKG?
:'''Whitaker''': The nurse suggested it to rule out any cardiac issues.
:'''Robinavitch''': Well, good call on both your parts. Nurses know what they're doing. Never hesitate to listen to them.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''King''': Because your son tested positive for [[w:Tetrahydrocannabinol|THC]], the psychoactive ingredient in cannabis, we're going to have to admit him for overnight observation and monitoring.
:'''Amanda Jones''': And what about his brain? Is there a chance that much pot is going to do some damage? He's only four.
:'''Langdon''': The honest answer is we don't know. There haven't been any long-term studies, but the fact that this is a one-time occurrence suggests that there should be no long-term effects.
:'''Amanda Jones''': But you don't know. So my son could end up with learning disabilities, psychiatric problems, or even autism because of this.
:'''King''': There's no evidence to suggest any of that.
:'''Kiara Alfaro''': Hello. I'm Kiara Alfaro. I'm the department social worker.
:'''Langdon''': Kiara will help you navigate the next steps.
:'''Amanda Jones''': What steps?
:'''King''': Well, a case like this requires mandatory reporting to child services and sometimes law enforcement.
:'''Amanda Jones''': No.
:'''Drew Jones''': Why why do you have to involve the police?
:'''King''': It's a controlled substance.
:'''Amanda Jones''': They're not taking my kid away.
:'''Drew Jones''': They were pot gummies.
:'''Kiara Alfaro''': No one's suggesting that.
:'''Amanda Jones''': Well, fuck your suggestions! No one is touching my child! In fact, we're leaving.
:'''Langdon''': Well no, you can't take your son. He could stop breathing. He could have a seizure.
:'''Amanda Jones''': I will observe him at home.
:'''Drew Jones''': Amanda, please.
:'''Amanda Jones''': Fuck off, Drew.
:'''Langdon''': Get security. If you can't cooperate, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
:'''Drew Jones''': Amanda, please. He needs to stay here.
:'''Amanda Jones''': And you need to get a fucking hotel.
:'''Langdon''': Your son can't leave the hospital, but I can have you removed.
:'''Amanda Jones''': Don't you dare touch me. Get out! All of you!
:'''Kiara Alfaro''': Mrs. Jones, I know this is scary and stressful.
:'''Amanda Jones''': Oh, fuck you! Fuck you! This is my son. My son! And nobody is touching him!
:'''Robinavitch''': ''[enters]'' Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's going on?
:'''Security Guard Olsen''': How can I help you?
:'''Amanda Jones''': By backing the fuck off!
:'''Kiara Alfaro''': Mom's worried a CYF investigation.
:'''Drew Jones''': Amanda, just calm down!
:'''Robinavitch''': OK, OK, OK, enough! This is a hospital. This isn't &quot;The Jerry Springer Show.&quot; Ma'am, nobody's trying to take your child, so why don't you stay here with him while your husband talks to our social worker outside and straightens all this out?
:'''Amanda Jones''': Well, I don't want him speaking for me and my son.
:'''Robinavitch''': Well, it is either you or him. Your son is not leaving, but you can be escorted out and even arrested if you refuse to cooperate. Nobody wants that. So you tell us. What do you want to do?
:'''Amanda Jones''': I'm staying with my son.
:'''Robinavitch''': OK, great. You do that. We all on the same page here? Thank you, Olsen. You know where to find me.You OK?
:'''Langdon''': Yeah, we got this.
:'''Robinavitch''': All good. It's all yours.

=== ''9:00 A.M.'' [1.03] ===
:'''Robinavitch''': Dr. Mohan, do you have a minute?
:'''Mohan''': Yep. Excuse me.
:'''Robinavitch''': Is there a problem over there?
:'''Mohan''': No, her pain is well controlled.
:'''Robinavitch''': You understand that's my polite way of asking why are you spending so much time with one patient? You're an R3. As an R3, you should be seeing at least two patients an hour.
:'''Mohan''': I have two, Joyce and Mr. Wallace, our Good Samaritan.
:'''Robinavitch''': Who's comatose and stable. You should have four by now.
:'''Mohan''': I have the highest patient satisfaction of anyone.
:'''Robinavitch''': I don't doubt it, but we just had this conversation a couple of hours ago.
:'''Mohan''': I know people call me Slow-Mo. You don't have to confirm or deny. It used to hurt my feelings a lot, but I can't help it. I work at the speed I'm comfortable at.
:'''Robinavitch''': Because you're afraid of making a mistake?
:'''Mohan''': I'm always afraid of making a mistake. Aren't you?
:'''Robinavitch''': Yeah, of course I am. But you know what I mean. You make a mistake once, and somebody dies, and you feel so badly about it, you'll never let it happen again
:'''Mohan''': How is that wrong?
:'''Robinavitch''': Because you waste time and money on unnecessary tests. You keep sick patients waiting too long. You miss out on cases you could be learning from. You shortchange your own education. I'm not saying this to be a hard-ass. I'm saying this because I know you could do this, but you need to do it at a level I also know you're capable of.
:'''Mohan''': And what if I'm not?
:'''Robinavitch''': Then you should look into a specialty that better suits you. Have you thought about psychiatry?
:'''Mohan''': I don't want to go into psychiatry. I want to be here.
:'''Robinavitch''': Being here means no matter how good you are or how hard you try, you're gonna make another mistake, and someone else might even die. That's called being an emergency medicine doctor. And if you can't accept that, then maybe this isn't the place for you.
:'''Mohan''': I can accept that.
:'''Robinavitch''': You sure?
:'''Mohan''': Yes.
:'''Robinavitch''': OK, good. Go save some lives. Clear some beds while you're at it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Robinavitch''': Mr. Gellin, you're having a very big heart attack right now. Major artery that carries oxygen to your heart is almost totally blocked.
:'''Mr. Gellin''': That doesn't sound too good.
:'''Robinavitch''': No, it's not very good. We're gonna send you up to the cath lab. A cardiologist is gonna unblock that with a balloon and leave it open with a stent.
:'''Mr. Gellin''': But I'm still having a heart attack?
:'''Robinavitch''': If everything goes as planned, it'll be like you never had a heart attack. We're gonna put a catheter in this artery right here. We're gonna shave the hair with a clipper.
:'''Mr. Gellin''': Long as you stop short of a Brazilian.
:'''Robinavitch''': It's an option we offer. Costs a little bit more. A lot of people's insurance won't cover it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Robinavitch''': How's she doing?
:'''Kiara Alfaro''': She's worried sick about her son. What are you going to do?
:'''Robinavitch''': I thought he would come back after mom called him. Hey, what are the ethics about me reaching out to him under the guise of a medical emergency with mom?
:'''Kiara Alfaro''': If he's a danger to himself or others, I'd argue you have a professional responsibility to do whatever is necessary.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Helen Spencer''': He keeps trying to pull away.
:'''Robinavitch''': We're giving him some more sedation.
:'''Jereme''': Why is he so agitated?
:'''Robinavitch''': He could have some awareness of the tube in his throat or that he's in a strange place, or it could be lack of oxygen to his brain.
:'''Helen Spencer''': Does he need more oxygen?
:'''Robinavitch''': He's on 100%. That's as high as it goes. ''[vitals monitor beeps loudly]'' That is his blood pressure dropping.
:'''Jereme''': Oh, is that even fixable?
:'''Robinavitch''': Normally, yes, with IV fluids, but we now know that that will just fill up his lungs, drop his oxygen even more.
:'''Helen Spencer''': Well, isn't there something else we can do?
:'''Robinavitch''': We can place a long, large IV catheter in his jugular vein down into his heart and administer [[w:Norepinephrine (medication)|Levophed]], which is a very powerful medicine to constrict his arteries, raise his blood pressure. But that could cause other organ damage, organ failure. I'm really sorry, but each new step is even more invasive, could cause more suffering with minimal benefit.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Collins''': Confidence and ambition are great attributes, especially when paired with respect and humility.

=== ''10:00 A.M.'' [1.04] ===
:'''Robinavitch''': I had a teacher, mentor, who told me about a Hawaiian ritual called ''[[w:Hoʻoponopono|Hoʻoponopono]]'', or &quot;the four things that matter most.&quot; It's basically just a few key things that we can say when we're saying goodbye to a loved one that can really help at the early stages of loss.
:'''Jereme''': What are they?
:'''Robinavitch''': They're gonna sound really simple, but I swear I've seen them work.
:'''Jereme''': Okay.
:'''Robinavitch''': I love you. Thank you. I forgive you. Please forgive me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mohan''': Distraction is a terrible strategy. When a patient says, &quot;I'm hurting,&quot; we don't respond, &quot;What's your major?&quot;
:'''Santos''': Oh, I wasn't trying to diminish
:'''Mohan''': Additionally, &quot;I&quot; statements work better than &quot;you&quot; statements. &quot;I can see how painful this is&quot; acknowledges the reality of the situation and invites further examination. &quot;You need to move on&quot; has the opposite effect.
:'''Santos''': Understood, but in my personal experience...
:'''Mohan''': Your personal experience isn't germane here. We bring our education to the job, not our baggage.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Robinavitch''': It's good that your families live close. This becomes a primary relationship now. You're the last witnesses to each other's lives. You hold the memories.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Robinavitch''': But I've got four days off next week. I think I'm gonna get out of Dodge and head for the hills.
:'''Dana''': I wish you would. What'd [[Shakespeare]] say &quot;Physician, heal thyself&quot;?
:'''Robinavitch''': What? Have you been talking to Collins? Not Shakespeare. Luke, the disciple, who probably heard it from Paul the Apostle. But what do I know? I'm Jewish. It's not my book. Shakespeare had nothing to do with it, though.
:'''Dana''': Yeah. Maybe a little time off would be good.

=== ''11:00 A.M.'' [1.05] ===
:'''Dana''': Don't mind Myrna. She's harmless.
:'''Whitaker''': She's handcuffed!
:'''Dana''': That's why she's harmless.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Langdon''': A little advice, man-to-man: always compliment her outfit, hold her hand in front of your friends, and always wrap it before you tap it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Doug Driscoll''': Excuse me. Excuse me. I've been here for over five hours, okay, way longer than that chick. Can you check the list? Driscoll? Doug Driscoll.
:'''Javadi''': E-everybody is seen as quickly as possible and in order of medical care needed.
:'''Doug Driscoll''': Unless they die waiting.
:'''McKay''': Would you look at that, Mr. Driscoll? It's actually time to bring you back.
:'''Doug Driscoll''': Thank God.
:'''McKay''': Would you take care of Mr. Driscoll?
:'''Javadi''': Yeah, absolutely.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Donnie Donahue''': What can I do you for?
:'''Santos''': Hypothetical question would you ever go over a resident's head to the attending?
:'''Donnie Donahue''': Hypothetically, I wouldn't recommend it unless it's a behavioral issue or harassment. And in that case, you can make a confidential report to HR.
:'''Santos''': What if it's more patient care related?
:'''Donnie Donahue''': Depends. If it's something minor, leave it alone. If it's something that endangers the patient, then definitely yes. Pick your battles. You don't want to be the intern who cried wolf.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Javadi''': Has Kiara been here yet?
:'''Sherry Davis''': No, who's Kiara?
:'''Javadi''': Oh, she's the hospital social worker. She can help you out with, like, housing and childcare - and food and security
:'''Sherry Davis''': ''[to Dr. McKay]'' You told her?
:'''McKay''': No, I-I...
:'''Javadi''': No, no, it's all free. The system works if you use it. You just have to...
:'''McKay''': Enough!
:'''Sherry Davis''': I don't need your help. Nice speech. Next time, mind your own business.
:''[McKay pulls Javadi to the hall]''
:'''McKay''': You ever heard of impact over intent?
:'''Javadi''': I would never intentionally embarrass anybody.
:'''McKay''': But you did. You didn't have a conversation with Sherry or ask her what she needed. Instead, you walked in here and told her what to do. You gotta slow down, take a beat, and listen instead of judging people. Look, maybe I have a better perspective because I've been on both sides, but we gotta try to at least put ourselves in their shoes. Listening and building trust will make us better doctors and better people.
:'''Javadi''': Um, I'm sorry.
:'''McKay''': I'm not telling you this to reprimand you. I'm trying to teach you to help you.

=== ''12:00 P.M.'' [1.06] ===
:'''Mohan''': Aren't board rounds at 2:00?
:'''Robinavitch''': These aren't board rounds. I just want to remind you all of a few things, OK? So we do a great job coming up with the right diagnosis and treatment plan for our patients, but there are still some opportunities for improvement.
:'''Langdon''': Not this bullshit again.
:'''Robinavitch''': First off, always sit down at the bedside of a stable patient. It will make you a better doctor. Second, if there's a discharge to be done, do it before you pick up a new patient. The patients are very aware of the time that they spend with us, so please don't keep them here any longer than they need to be.
:'''McKay''': They complain about the wait.
:'''Robinavitch''': I get it, but for the sake of efficiency and running smoothly on our end and opening up beds and opening up rooms, let's discharge before we start with somebody new, OK? Thank you. Lastly, in your medical records, make sure that your decision-making and your notes reflect not just the diagnosis but all the thought that you put into ruling out all the critical illnesses in the differential.
:'''Langdon''': More work? I do enough charting as it is.
:'''Collins''': The hospital won't admit this, but it's less about charting and more about profit.
:'''Robinavitch''': OK? Good. That's it. Goodbye. Go.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Robinavitch''': ''[about Dr. Mohan]'' Hi, how's she doing?
:'''Dana''': Better. Faster.
:'''Robinavitch''': Still need ten more of her.
:'''Dana''': Never thought I'd see the day where you'd wish for more Samiras.
:'''Robinavitch''': You can blame Gloria for that. If I don't get patient satisfaction scores up around here, they're bringing in an outside management company to run things.
:'''Dana''': Mother of God. Really?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Gloria''': Dr. Robinavitch.
:'''Robinavitch''': Gloria.
:'''Gloria''': This is Dr. Tracy Morris, regional manager of ECQ America.
:'''Robinavitch''': The contract management group.
:'''Morris''': It's a pleasure to meet you.
:'''Robinavitch''': Likewise. But if you'll excuse me, I'm a little slammed, as per usual.
:'''Gloria''': We were upstairs with the executive team going over a proposal.
:'''Robinavitch''': A proposal?
:'''Gloria''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Morris''': We're interested in having your emergency department join us.
:'''Robinavitch''': The 500 or so ERs you have aren't enough?
:'''Morris''': What can I say? Business is good.
:'''Robinavitch''': Yeah, for who?
:'''Morris''': Everyone benefits.
:'''Robinavitch''': Do they, though? Your contract management's corporate mandate is profits for shareholders above everything else, yes?
:'''Gloria''': Robby.
:'''Robinavitch''': Dah-dah-dah.
:'''Morris''': Your hospital's board was very impressed with ECQ's metrics on patient satisfaction, throughput time, and billing collections.
:'''Robinavitch''': Does your proposal include the part where you cut the pay for all my doctors?
:'''Morris''': Maybe I can find an incentive for you. How does regional medical director sound? Lighter workload, better benefits, stock options.
:'''Robinavitch''': Did you go to business school or medical school?
:'''Morris''': Both. We look forward to your decision.
:'''Gloria''': Of course.
:'''Morris''': Hopefully we'll get a chance to work together soon, Dr. Robinavitch.
:''[Dr. Morris leaves]''
:'''Robinavitch''': I can't believe you're seriously considering this.
:'''Gloria''': Bottom line is, our current numbers aren't good, and theirs are.
:'''Robinavitch''': Just because their dashboard is pretty doesn't mean it's good for patients.
:'''Gloria''': If you want to keep this ED, improve metrics. There's a lot of OFI. Opportunities for improvement.
:'''Robinavitch''': Well, you could have just said that.
:'''Gloria''': I need you to care about patient-satisfaction scores.
:'''Robinavitch''': I would love nothing more. But right now, the average wait time is six hours, and that's before you see a doctor. You need to hire more staff so we can open more inpatient beds. Are you prepared to do that?
:'''Gloria''': I need you to improve scores with the resources we have, or we will explore what ECQ has to offer.
:'''Robinavitch''': This is bullshit. You know this is bullshit. And if you don't, then we are all in trouble.
:'''Gloria''': Maybe you need some time off.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Collins''': OK, you're gonna pretend you're a pirate with your foot on a keg of rum.
:'''Javadi''': Are you serious?
:'''Collins''': Yep. This is the Captain Morgan technique for hip reduction.
:'''Javadi''': Who's Captain Morgan?
:''[Doctor Robby chuckles]''
:'''Langdon''': The guy on the rum bottle?
:'''Collins''': I'll stabilize the pelvis.
:'''Langdon''': OK, you're gonna step up here.
:'''Javadi''': Actually, let me just...sorry.
:'''Langdon''': Yeah, and you are gonna put your right leg behind his knee.
:'''Javadi''': Like this?
:'''Langdon''': Yeah. And you are gonna use your leg as a hinge to put anterior force on his femur.
:'''Robinavitch''': Physics.
:'''Collins''': Push down on the lower leg with your left hand.
:'''Langdon''': You got this. Put your back into it. The hip is a big joint with lots of muscle stabilizing it.
:'''Javadi''': Yeah! OK.
:'''Robinavitch''': Whoa!
:'''Javadi''': Oh, shit... I mean, shoot.
:'''Collins''': And that is what a hip reduction feels like.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Langdon''': [[w:Neurocysticercosis|Neurocysticercosis]], a parasite in your brain.
:'''Joseph Marino''': I thought I just had a migraine, but I have bugs in my head?
:'''Langdon''': Well, not exactly. You had larva from a pork tapeworm that made multiple cysts, but they're all dead now.
:'''Joseph Marino''': A worm? In my fucking head? Are you kidding me?
:'''Langdon''': No, no, you don't have a worm in your head.
:'''Joseph Marino''': You just said that I have...
:'''Langdon''': I said you ''had'' a worm in your head, but it's dead and long gone. What we're seeing on the CT is scarring around those dead cysts.
:'''Joseph Marino''': Like dead worm eggs?
:'''Langdon''': Larvae.
:'''Joseph Marino''': Is my brain like Swiss cheese? Am I dying?
:'''Langdon''': No, no, you're not dying. Joseph, you're gonna be OK. The cysts are tiny, and they're calcified over. There'll be no further damage.
:'''Joseph Marino''': Can you fix it?
:'''Langdon''': Unfortunately, no. The  little calcified spots will stay there.
:'''Joseph Marino''': So there's gonna be a worm graveyard in my brain forever?
:'''Langdon''': Yeah, but they're resting in peace.

=== ''1:00 P.M.'' [1.07] ===
:'''Robinavitch''': Patients come in already in distress, and waiting only makes it worse.
:'''Gloria''': Wait time has nothing to do with this.
:'''Robinavitch''': Which is why we're seeing hospital workers like Dr. Collins get assaulted.
:'''Gloria''': Assaulted?
:'''Collins''': It was a little push.
:'''Robinavitch''': Which we're gonna take seriously. We risk our lives coming to work here every day. What if that mother had brought a weapon?
:'''Gloria''': We have metal detectors.
:'''Robinavitch''': This is what happens when you keep all the hospital admissions stuck down here instead of properly staffing upstairs. I've got four patients waiting on ICU that have been here since before I got here, and it's already 1:00.
:'''Gloria''': I can see that you're... 
:'''Robinavitch''': We've got four more waiting on psych. One of them's been here for a fucking week. So please, for the love of God, hire more nurses.
:'''Gloria''': I'll come back later.
:'''Robinavitch''': That's not gonna help anything.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Terrance''': I [[w:Eversion|everted]] my ankle playing table tennis.
:'''Langdon''': Everted?
:'''Terrance''': Yes.
:'''Langdon''': You mind if I take a look?
:'''Terrance''': Are you an orthopedic surgeon?
:'''Langdon''': No. I am an emergency medicine specialist.
:'''Terrance''': Could I talk to an orthopedic surgeon? I'd prefer an expert in that area.
:'''Langdon''': Well, I'm pretty good at ankle sprains.
:'''Terrance''': How do you know it's a sprain?
:'''Langdon''': Well, I'd have to examine you first, but...
:'''Terrance''': Could it be a [[w:Jones fracture|Jones fracture]] or a [[w:Avulsion_fracture#Tuberosity_avulsion|dancer's fracture]]?
:'''Langdon''': Could be. Again, I'd have to look. Why don't I examine you, and that'll tell me.
:'''Terrance''': Shouldn't you take a complete history on the present illness first?
:'''Langdon''': It sounds like you're more interested in asking the questions, so...
:'''Terrance''': You didn't ask me if I felt a pop or a snap. You didn't ask about previous injuries. You didn't ask about weight bearing.
:'''Langdon''': Why don't I get you some fresh ice?

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kristi Wheeler''': Where is she?
:'''Collins''': She's OK. She just needs a minute.
:'''Kristi Wheeler''': I have given her enough time. She can process this on the car ride home.
:'''Collins''': Can we talk for a moment? Please.
:'''Kristi Wheeler''': I know you're trying to help, but this is really between me and my daughter. So if you could just bring her out, we will be on our way.
:'''Collins''': She's really upset.
:'''Kristi Wheeler''': She'll get over it.
:'''Collins''': Weren't you about the same age when you got pregnant with her?
:'''Kristi Wheeler''': Yes.
:'''Collins''': So, you know how hard it can be.
:'''Kristi Wheeler''': It was very hard at the time. But she turned out to be the best thing that has ever happened to me.
:'''Collins''': And I hope she feels the same way when she's ready. But right now, she's not. For her, the world is ending. If you push her away, she might never come back.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''King''': ''[turns off the lights and draws the curtain]'' The, uh, ER can be very noisy.
:'''Terrance''': I agree.
:'''King''': So, I heard that you might have sprained your ankle playing table tennis?
:'''Terrance''': I everted it.
:'''King''': Yeah? What is your biggest concern today, Terrence? What worries you the most about the pain in your ankle?
:'''Terrance''': What worries me? Do you mean right now in this moment?
:'''King''': Right now.
:'''Terrance''': I'm worried I won't be able to play table tennis if it's a bad injury. There's a tournament in six weeks, and I already registered. It's my first tournament.
:'''King''': Wow, that's a big deal.
:'''Terrance''': Yes. The championship is hosted by the South Park Table Tennis Club. Nine players have USATT ratings over 2,000. 1,400 is considered average. 2,000 is a master player. My goal is to get a rating over 2,000.
:'''King''': Well, let's get you to that tournament, then. So...
:''[Dr. Langdon enters]''
:'''King''': Terrence, would you walk around the room for me, please? I'll be able to tell a lot more about your injury.
:'''Terrance''': It hurts a little.
:'''Langdon''': How painful on a scale from 1 to 10? 10 is the worst.
:'''Terrance''': The worst? The worst I've ever felt or the worst that a human being can experience?
:'''King''': A little pain is a great answer, Terrence. Thank you. Well, based on your walking around, I don't think it's a serious injury.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''King''': Sometimes this tendon called peroneus brevis can pull off a piece of this bone, the fifth metatarsal.
:'''Terrance''': That's the dancer's fracture, right?
:'''King''': Exactly. You most likely have a second-degree ankle sprain. The X-ray will tell us everything. Tech will come get you, and then I'll come back and show you the images.
:'''Terrance''': Great.
:'''King''': OK... I'll put the orders in.
:''[Langdon and King leave]''
:'''Langdon''': How'd you do that?
:'''King''': Do what?
:'''Langdon''': Talk to him.
:'''King''': I listened?
:'''Langdon''': Funny. No, you unlocked something. I wasn't getting anywhere with him.
:'''King''': Oh, my sister is on the spectrum. And the ER can be a very, very overwhelming place for autistic people, so I... I don't know. It just takes a different approach.

=== ''2:00 P.M.'' [1.08] ===
:'''Willie Alexander''': That looks like [[w:ST elevation|ST elevation]]. That could be bad.
:'''Langdon''': Oh, no. That's just because we're pacing your right ventricle. Willie, I'm impressed. After all these years, you still remember your medical training.
:'''Eli Alexander''': He couldn't tell you what he had for breakfast.
:'''Willie Alexander''': ''[scoffs]'' It's all right. I remember what's important. Like the [[w:Freedom House Ambulance Service|Freedom House]].
:'''Princess''': What's that?
:'''Willie Alexander''': A damn shame. That's your history.
:'''Eli Alexander''': Dad, they're busy.
:'''Willie Alexander''': Back in the '60s, no 911, no ambulances. All we had was police paddy wagons that took you to the hospital, ''if'' you were lucky. Then this doc from Pitt, [[w:Peter Safar|Dr. Safar]], he got some money and trained us up.
:'''Langdon''': Well, you must've been a good student.
:'''Willie Alexander''': Hell no. I was a knucklehead. Smoked a lot of weed, dropped out of high school. But Freedom House trained me up. Saved my life.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Robby has pulled Mohan, Javadi, and a couple of paramedics to Willie Alexander's room for an impromptu history lesson.]''
:'''Willie Alexander''': Freedom House took us in and trained us for 300 hours.
:'''Robby''': They turned out the very first medics in the United States.
:'''Willie Alexander''': We started IVs, defibrillated, intubated in the field.
:'''Eli Alexander''': They were the heroes of [[w:Hill District|Hill District]]. Bunch of young Black dudes saving lives every day.
:'''Langdon''': Why'd you quit?
:'''Willie Alexander''': I didn't. The city saw how successful it was and took over the program. Trained new medics. All white.
:'''Robby''': Everything that Willie and his friends did set the EMS standard for the entire country. Their program created the 911 system.
:'''Willie Alexander''': It wasn't just us. We had the best teachers. Dr. Safar invented CPR. Dr. Adamson, med student when I arrived. But I'm telling you, boy, that guy could teach like there was no tomorrow. You ever hear him give a lecture?
:'''Robby''': Many times.
:'''Willie Alexander''': Every time I saved a patient, it was like he was standing right here, whispering in my ear, telling me what to do.
:'''Robby''': Me too.
:'''Willie Alexander''': Yeah. Where is he working now?
:'''Robby''': Dr. Adamson died a few years ago, during COVID.
:'''Willie Alexander''': ''[clearly saddened]'' Oh. Hard to believe. He was so young, so full of life. A force of nature.
:'''Robby''': Yes, he was.

=== ''3:00 P.M.'' [1.09] ===
:''[Dana breaks up a fight in the waiting room]''
:'''Dana''': Jesus almighty, I can't believe what I'm seein'! Where do you people think you are? '''''This ain't Philly!''''' This is a ''hospital'', for Christ's sakes, what's the matter with you? You call yourselves adults? There are children in here! You should be ashamed of yourselves.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Wendy Atwater''': An operation?
:'''Langdon''': Well, you were just shouting a minute ago about infection, and with good reason. While I am sure you are in the clear for rabies and HIV, human mouths are filthy, some more than others.
:'''Wendy Atwater''': How can you tell if it's bad?
:'''Langdon''': Good question. Dr. K?
:'''King''': I'm sorry?
:'''Langdon''': I am going to inject some sterile saline into your knuckle joint, which you won't feel 'cause of the anesthetic. If it comes spraying back out of the bite wound, we'll know.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Langdon''': Oh, did you want me to tell the surgeons to go no masks for surgery?
:'''Wendy Atwater''': What?
:'''Langdon''': Well, those of us who save lives for a living believe strongly that masks minimize risk when it comes to spreading disease and infection. But I want to respect your beliefs, so what do you think? With or without for surgery? Without?
:'''Wendy Atwater''': Um…I want with.
:'''Langdon''': Good call.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Doug Driscoll''': I know you hear me. You can pretend you don't, but I know you do. This glass might be bulletproof, but it ain't soundproof. Huh? Hello? Can you hear me now? Huh? Hello!
:'''Dana''': Whoa. Whoa. Whoa, sir. Sir, what is the issue?
:'''Doug Driscoll''': Oh, same issue. I've been here all day, and you people have done nothing to fucking help me.
:'''Javadi''': We're still waiting on your second [[w:troponin|troponin]]. We can't clear you medically until it comes back. For instance, if it comes back elevated, that could indicate a silent heart attack. And you'd need to be admitted for monitoring in a cardiology consult.
:'''Doug Driscoll''': That's all I'm asking for. I'm afraid I've had a silent heart attack. I just want someone who knows something about hearts to tell me what's happening to me. You know, unlike most of these losers, I have insurance, good insurance. And I pay my taxes, which pays for them to not have any insurance.
:'''Dana''': Sir, you've got about five seconds to change your whole attitude before security and the police get involved.
:'''Doug Driscoll''': Fuck it. I'm leaving.
:'''Langdon''': Hey. Hey! You are absolutely free to go. But if you do, you will be leaving AMA, against medical advice. This form states that I have advised you to stay and complete your evaluation, but you are choosing to leave, understanding and accepting all risks of heart attack, stroke, disability, and death.
:'''Doug Driscoll''': Sounds like a CYA form in case I drop dead on the curb.
:'''Langdon''': That's exactly what it is.
:'''Doug Driscoll''': I just want to be treated fairly.
:'''Langdon''': I assure you that is our intention. We are not back here playing Go Fish.
:'''Dana''': We're doing our best to help some very sick people. You will be seen, OK?
:'''Langdon''': Robby's gonna love that patient satisfaction score.
:'''Lupe Perez''': Crazy people.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Robinavitch''': I hear they're gonna start you working on the Middle East peace plan. Not since the Dalai Lama or Gandhi.
:'''Dana''': They'd be fucking-A right to. You should have seen me. I was inspiring, also terrifying, and a little bit shaming.
:'''Robinavitch''': Holy Trinity of crowd control.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Collins''': Yeah, purulent drainage from the cervix. Got the culture. Oof. Looks like we have our source. The positive urine this morning was contaminated.
:'''McKay''': Maybe.
:''' Collins''': Definitely. Not-so-clean catch specimen.
:'''Robinavitch''': This infection's been brewing for a while.
:'''McKay''': So the car crash was a coincidence.
:'''Robinavitch''': Not necessarily. She was probably already septic as the disease progressed, dropped her BP, and passed out while driving.
:'''McKay''': She wasn't [[w:Hypotension|hypotensive]] when she arrived.
:'''Robinavitch''': Adrenaline rush from the car crash and the sternal fracture raised her BP but not for long.
:'''McKay''': Oh. No history of fever.
:'''Collins''': Bet she was taking Tylenol for the pain.
:'''Robinavitch''': Let's call ICU for an admit. Also want gyn to see her.
:'''McKay''': She had mild lower abdominal pain and a positive urine dip. No fever, no back pain to indicate [[w:pyelonephritis|pyelonephritis]]. She was alert, walking, talking. It just seemed like a simple [[w:Urinary tract infection|UTI]]. I saw no reason to have her wait eight hours for a bed for a pelvic exam. 
:'''Collins''': McKay. Every postpartum patient needs a pelvic exam to rule out [[w:endometritis|endometritis]].
:'''McKay''': Wait, you're saying that with 20/20 hindsight.
:'''Collins''': Did you ask about Tylenol or ibuprofen use? Because that can mask a fever.
:'''McKay''': There was no fever.
:'''Collins''': Did you do a careful abdominal exam?
:'''McKay''': It was a quick chair exam, and there was only mild tenderness over the bladder.
:'''Collins''': Perhaps there was something about the patient that made you overlook proper treatment.
:'''McKay''': Like what, other than the obvious health risk factors?
:'''Collins''': Her size doesn't inherently make her unhealthy.
:'''McKay''': Are you saying I was biased against the patient because of her weight?
:'''Collins''': I raise it as a possibility, not as an accusation.
:'''McKay''': Wow. I mean, I really don't think that's the case here, but I will look out for it. Yeah.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dana''': Excuse me, sir. You're not allowed back there.
:'''Doug Driscoll''': Unless, what, I start a fight? Become homeless? Apparently, that's what it takes.
:'''Dana''': I understand your frustration. I promise you'll be seen as soon as a provider is available.
:'''Doug Driscoll''': But how can they become available if new people keep cutting the fucking line?
:'''Dana''': There's no line. We see patients by severity of need. As soon as we have your tests and labs, you will be seen.
:'''Doug Driscoll''': This place is fucking unbelievable. Runaround after runaround. Hey. What's up, [[w:Erik Estrada|Erik Estrada]]? Still keeping your eye on me?
:'''Mateo Diaz''': Always, my friend. Always. ''[to Dana]'' Who's Erik Estrada?
:'''Dana''': Shame on you. ''[[w:CHiPs|CHiPs]]''. Know your television history.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Javadi''': It's like…my parents took me skiing in Utah for Christmas, and from the moment I got off the plane, I could not catch my breath. No matter how hard I tried, the altitude made me feel, like, awkward and uncoordinated. I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't get my bearings. And I'm a very good skier, but I spent the entire vacation just, like, on my butt, dizzy and panting.
:''[Dana half-glares at her, nudging her to get to the point]''
:'''Javadi''': ''Mateo is like a human Utah.''
:'''Dana''': ''[laughs understandingly]'' Oh honey! I've worked with a few human Utahs. I wish you many, many Utahs in your life.

=== ''4:00 P.M.'' [1.10] ===
:'''Gloria''': ''[after Dana was attacked by a patient]'' Did you fill out an incident report?
:'''Robinavitch''': I don't know, I was more concerned with her having a skull fracture than with your liability.
:'''Gloria''': How'd a guy from the waiting room get back here without anyone noticing?
:'''Robinavitch''': Wow, Gloria! What a great question. Our hard-working nurses were just asking me what steps the hospital plans to take to ensure their safety in the future. Maybe you would like to explain to them why you've denied my request for additional security measures three times in the last four months? If nurses don't feel safe, they're not gonna come to work.
:'''Gloria''': First off, the safety of all our employees is paramount.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Princess''': ''[to Gloria]'' Glad to know the authorities are looking for this psycho, but what are you gonna do to protect the rest of us?
:'''Nurse Kim Tate''': Violence against health care workers is a national problem.
:'''Donnie Donahue''': And it's only getting worse. No surprise there's a nursing shortage everywhere.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Langdon''': An intern has a problem around here, they come to the senior resident, not the attending.
:'''Santos''': He is my attending, and I wanted his input on a patient. Is that not OK with you?
:'''Langdon''': Just, um come to me first next time. Got it?
:'''Santos''': Yep.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''McKay''': Look, do I think he needed to chill out a little bit? Yes. But he's a parent, and this might be his way of coping with the stress of a very frightening situation.
:'''Javadi''': I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me.
:'''McKay''': No, I do. You and that baseball kid are two pressure cooker prodigies in a pod. Just as physicians, we gotta learn to keep our emotions in check and not let our personal experiences interfere with our professional responsibilities.
:'''Javadi''': How long did it take you to learn that?
:'''McKay''': I'm still learning. And I also learned to never get on your bad side.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Robinavitch''': So, in this ER, we all need to work together as a single unified entity. And if two people on my team can't work together, it kind of throws the rhythm of the place off.
:'''Santos''': Understood.
:'''Robinavitch''': My duty, regardless of personal relationships, is to make sure everybody on my team is doing OK. So are you doing OK?
:'''Santos''': Uh, it's not a big deal. I can handle it.
:'''Robinavitch''': Handle what?
:'''Santos''': Nothing. It it's fine. I... I don't wanna get anyone in trouble.
:'''Robinavitch''': Hmm. OK, if there is anything that could affect my ER, I need to know about it, and you have a responsibility to tell me.

=== ''5:00 P.M.'' [1.11] ===
:'''Mohan''': Remember how I said you get good at spotting the fakers?
:'''Whitaker''': Yeah.
:'''Mohan''': He's exhibiting every sign of opiate withdrawal. Eyes dilated, tearing, skin has piloerection and goosebumps. [[w:Hypertension|Hypertension]], [[w:tachycardia|tachycardia]]. Agitation, restlessness, perspiration. He's checking every box.
:'''Whitaker''': Right, but he said he doesn't take drugs and seldom drinks alcohol, so...
:'''Mohan''': That's exactly what he would want you to believe if he was drug-seeking.
:'''Whitaker''': Wow. You're good.
:'''Mohan''': Thanks. I am.
:'''Whitaker''': So how do we treat him?
:'''Mohan''': By getting him to admit his opiate usage.
:'''Whitaker''': Right. How do we do that?
:'''Mohan''': By being smarter than the patient.
:'''Whitaker''': Got it. He said he isn't an addict, so why give him an opiate agonist to treat his withdrawal symptoms?
:'''Mohan''': Because I don't believe him. And I know this will work. Then once he feels better, we can get him to admit to his addiction and treat him long-term.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Theresa Saunders''': The psychologist spoke to me about becoming a petitioner to place David on an involuntary psychiatric hold.
:'''Robinavitch''': Yes.
:'''Theresa Saunders''': But can that be anonymous?
:'''Robinavitch''': No. To call a 302 in the state of Pennsylvania, the petitioner needs to admit to having witnessed the concerning behavior, and you need a physician and a social worker to sign off, which both Kiara and I can do.
:'''Theresa Saunders''': What if I'm wrong?
:'''Robinavitch''': Then you apologize. And we will help you explain that this came from concern for his safety. What if you're right?
:'''Theresa Saunders''': But if I become a petitioner, what am I doing to my son?
:'''Robinavitch''': You are trying to get him the help that it sounds like he needs. David lost his father. That would affect anyone. But we are failing young men, because we don't teach them how to express their emotions. We just tell them to man up, and then we let them get their lessons in manhood from toxic podcasts. And these young men then feel isolated from themselves and society, and they find community and comfort in all the wrong places. David needs help. We don't want to fail him, too.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Robinavitch''': ''[about drinking]'' You ever think about quitting?
:'''Louie Cloverfield''': ''[chuckles]'' I'm not a quitter.
:'''Robinavitch''': Oh, I know you're a happy drunk today. But one day, when your liver fails and believe me, it will fail you won't be so happy. It's not a nice way to go.
:'''Louie Cloverfield''': I'm digging my own grave. Let me.
:'''Robinavitch''': I don't have to give you the shovel.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dana''': I'm already in a bad mood.
:'''Security Guard Ahmad''': I'm just getting some air.
:'''Dana''': ''[scoffs]'' Yeah, right. You're a terrible liar. Hope you're better at security.
:'''Security Guard Ahmad''': Hey, now you're just being mean.
:'''Robinavitch''': You realize that this is the second person to accuse you of that today. - You starting to see a pattern?
:'''Dana''': No. But I am starting to see why Gloria's unhappy with your patient-satisfaction scores.
:''[Robby laughs]''
:'''Dana''': You need something? Or you just here to ruin one of the few things that still brings me a little joy in life?
:'''Robinavitch''': I sent Collins home.
:'''Dana''': You don't want to work with anybody today. You must be in a mood.
:'''Robinavitch''': She's had a rough day.
:'''Dana''': It's going around.
:'''Robinavitch''': You should leave, too.
:'''Dana''': ''[chuckles]'' Yeah. You're good. You're not that good.
:...
:'''Robinavitch''': You do help. You do make a difference. One asshole doesn't get to change that.
:'''Dana''': I think I'm done. ''[sighs]'' 
:'''Robinavitch''': Yeah. I know that one. And I don't blame you. I, uh...I-I-I-I don't know. I don't know. Maybe what I want and what the patients need isn't what's best for you anymore.
:'''Dana''': Yeah.
:'''Robinavitch''': I just honestly don't know what I'm going to do without you.
:'''Dana''': You'll figure it out. You always do. You're a good man, Robinavitch. Don't let this place take that from you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Robinavitch''': How you feeling, Mr. Pugliesi?
:'''Ivan Pugliesi''': Oh, so much better. Thank you. You guys think that I could have a little bit more of that medicine, just for the few days that I'm out here? I just want to be able to walk my daughter down the aisle without shitting myself.
:'''Robinavitch''': The medication we gave you wasn't morphine. It was something called [[w:buprenorphine|buprenorphine]], or BUPE.
:'''Ivan Pugliesi''': Yeah, no, she said that. I mean, whatever you call it, Doc, it worked great.
:'''Robinavitch''': It's a medicine specifically targeted to treat opioid withdrawal. That's why it worked.
:'''Ivan Pugliesi''': Wait, I-I don't I don't understand.
:'''Robinavitch''': All indicators are that you have been using opioids. That would include pain medication like [[w:hydrocodone|hydrocodone]], [[w:oxycodone|oxycodone]].
:'''Ivan Pugliesi''': I told them I don't do drugs. Wow. You lied to me.
:'''Mohan''': I didn't lie. I said I was giving you a morphine-like drug that got rid of your cravings.
:'''Ivan Pugliesi''': Well, you know what? This is bullshit. I mean, you know, I could sue all of you. You hear me? I'm not some junkie on the street. Look, look, I-I got a family. I got a job. I make good money. I, you know, I return my shopping carts. I pay my taxes. That sound like a drug addict to you?
:'''Robinavitch''': Yes, because anybody can be an addict. You are proof of that. These pills that you were taking, they're not helping you with your pain. They are keeping you stuck in it. A lot of really good people struggle with addiction. It is a brain disease. But social environment and personal choice are also factors.
:'''Ivan Pugliesi''': I don't have a problem.
:'''Robinavitch''': The good news is that the brain is highly dynamic, as is the environment. But you need to stop now before the damage is irreparable.
:'''Ivan Pugliesi''': No, screw this hospital, okay? And screw you.
:'''Robinavitch''': Hey. Doctor Mohan -- Doctor Mohan will advise you on our proposed action plan. You can either choose to follow it or not. That is entirely up to you. I wish you luck, Mr. Pugliesi.
:'''Mohan''': We're giving you a seven-day supply of a drug called Suboxone. We can set you up with a medic...
:'''Ivan Pugliesi''': Fuck off. I'm not interested.

=== ''6:00 P.M.'' [1.12] ===
:'''Robinavitch''': There is an active shooter at PittFest. As the nearest trauma center, we are going to be getting the majority of the victims. We don't know yet how many we are getting, but we are instituting hospital-wide emergency protocols. We need to move every patient out of here. They either go home, they go upstairs, or they go to Family Medicine. Call your loved ones now if you need to. I can guarantee you cell service will soon be overwhelmed. Eat something. Stay hydrated. Use the bathroom while there's time and meet back here for a full briefing in five minutes.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[&quot;Code Triage, Emergency Department now.&quot; over Public Address system]'' 
:'''Gloria''': We're locking down the hospital and setting up a command center in Administration. We'll coordinate logistics, supplies, communication.
:'''Dana''': How many casualties?
:'''Robinavitch''': Unclear, but initial reports are not good.
:'''Dana''': OK.
:'''Robinavitch''': The night shift is gonna be here soon, but we are gonna need more help, especially from Surgery and Anesthesiology.
:'''Gloria''': [[w:Mass casualty incident|MCI]] group text and email went out to everyone, including Transport and Environmental Services.
:'''Robinavitch''': OK, good. ''[to Dana]'' Hey, everyone's gonna want to come in to help. Keep enough in reserve. Tell them to come in eight hours later to give us a break. And can you try and reach Jake?
:'''Dana''': Of course.
:'''Robinavitch''': Surgery's got to call in the cavalry. We're gonna need all 25 ORs.
:'''Gloria''': Ahead of you. Four ORs are prepped and staffed, and we're working on getting the rest up and running.
:'''Robinavitch''': What about disaster supplies?
:'''Gloria''': On their way.
:'''Robinavitch''': Every patient in the ER needs to go up. Beds or no beds, they'll get better care in an upstairs hallway than ignored down here.
:'''Gloria''': Agreed.
:'''Whitaker''': There's a whole wing that's empty on the eighth floor. I don't know if that's...
:'''Gloria''': But no nurses to staff it.
:'''Robinavitch''': No comment on that one. Waiting room and Triage can go to Family Medicine Urgent Care. And we should turn off the TVs. We don't need to cause any extra panic.
:'''Gloria''': Will do.
:'''Robinavitch''': The cafeteria will handle the family members and survivors.
:'''Gloria''': What else do you need?
:'''Robinavitch''': Prayers wouldn't hurt.
:'''Gloria''': Amen to that.
:'''Robinavitch''': Keep the press out of here.
:'''Gloria''': Gladly. Call me directly if you need anything else.
:'''Robinavitch''': OK, will do. Thank you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Robinavitch''': This is how it's going to work. Our ambulance bay is now our Triage. EMS will be overwhelmed. Most will probably arrive by car, several victims per vehicle. For all you newbies that don't know, Dr. Shen is our night shift attending. John, I'm gonna put you on Point Triage.
:'''Dr. Shen''': Cool.
:'''Robinavitch''': Triage will decide who goes where depending on their injury.
:'''Abbot''': Every department will have a designated primary who will oversee their staff. If you need someone, look for the vest. We're all gonna have walkies. We can get you whatever you need.
:'''Robinavitch''': No patient goes into a room unless it's a trauma bay, and they will have four patients each. We need to keep everybody out in the open so we can keep an eye on everything, OK? Triage is gonna assess and assign every patient to a specific zone with a colored slap band. Patient who comes in with a red slap band goes to the Red Zone, which is the trauma rooms, with overflow out here. These are the most critical patients who will die without immediate attention. Samira, where are you? You are here with Dr. Abbot and me. Jack's gonna run traffic.
:'''Abbot''': We have five minutes to try and stabilize the reds. After that, it's OR, ICU, or morgue.
:'''Robinavitch''': The south and central common area over there will be the Pink Zone. That is for patients who will die in under an hour without treatment. McKay and Javadi, you are over there, with help from incoming night shift and surgical staff. Yellow Zone is the North Corridor. Those are gonna be mostly extremity wounds good vitals, talking. Mel, you're gonna run point there with Santos and Whitaker.
:'''King''': Uh, what if what if there's a-a pulseless extremity?
:'''Abbot''': Oh, if you if you can't feel a pulse, check for [[w:Doppler ultrasonography|Doppler flow]] with this. It's a mini-ultrasound. Follow the screen prompts.
:'''Robinavitch''': But a yellow can change to a red if they go south. You got to stay on top of them, even if they seem stable.
:'''King''': OK, yeah.
:'''Robinavitch''': You got this, Dr. King. Green minor lacs and sprains. They go to Family Medicine. Black and white bands are DOA, imminent death. Pedes is now our morgue. Let's hope we don't get too many of these.
:'''Abbot''': We're a [[w:Mobile Army Surgical Hospital|MASH unit]] now. There's no charting, no electronic medical records, no board.
:'''McKay''': How do we document treatment?
:'''Abbot''': Oh, you'll all get Sharpies, and every patient has a wrist chart to document treatment and procedures. You run out of room, write on the patient's forehead.
:'''McKay''': Really?
:'''Abbot''': Yeah, really.
:'''Robinavitch''': Each wrist chart has a unique mass-casualty-incident barcode and patient number. That's how the patients are gonna get identified.
:'''Abbot''': This is no-frills combat-zone medicine. No ultrasound, no X-rays, no CT, no labs. Assess based on mental status and pulse strength. Every critical patient gets an IO, intubation, a unit of blood and chest tube if needed. Everything you need blood, drugs, bandages everything will be in the Behavioral Health rooms. That's our supply depot. Um oh, keep a couple of 11 blades in your pocket. Goal is to resuscitate ASAP so they'll make it upstairs for definitive care.
:'''Robinavitch''': Trauma surgery and neurosurgery will decide who goes up to the OR immediately and who goes to the ICU for further treatment and evaluation. Communicate. Ask for help if you need it. Trust your attendings. We will get through this together.
:'''Abbot''': Damn right we will.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Dr. Shen''': That's a lot of wrist charts.
:'''Robinavitch''': Let's hope we don't need them all. Were you at the last mass-casualty faculty meeting?
:'''Dr. Shen''': Oh, no. I was still a resident three months ago.
:'''Robinavitch''': Right. Wow. Well, one patient at a time, right? The goal is to triage each patient in ten seconds.
:'''Dr. Shen''': Ten seconds, got it.
:'''Robinavitch''': Mental status is [w:AVPU|]]. Alert, response to verbal, response to pain, unresponsive.
:'''Dr. Shen''': Yep.
:'''Robinavitch''': Next, do they have a pulse? Radial, carotid, or femoral tells you where to send them. That's it.
:'''Dr. Shen''': OK. Cool. Oh, I heard it might rain today.
:'''Robinavitch''': John?
:'''Dr. Shen''': Yeah, man.
:'''Robinavitch''': Mental status and pulse gives you everything you need.
:'''Dr. Shen''': Cool.
:'''Robinavitch''': Unresponsive with no pulses, slap a black and white band on them, send them to the morgue. Responds to pain with a faint groan, weak femoral pulse, no radial?
:'''Dr. Shen''': Uh, red.
:'''Robinavitch''': Right. Slap a red band on them, send them back. Awake, alert with strong radial?
:'''Dr. Shen''': Trick question. Could be green, Family Medicine for scrapes or sprains, but stable, penetrating extremity wounds go to yellow.
:'''Robinavitch''': Perfect.
:'''Dr. Shen''': Dude, relax. I got the front door. You worry about the back.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''King''': Oh, um, and four of [[w:Cefazolin|Ancef]]. Sorry, I forgot the Ancef. Thank you... .
:'''Perlah Alawi''': Mel! Mel, I need you to reassess, please, now.
:'''King''': Sylvia? Oh, Sylvia. Her pulse is weak and thready. She's, uh, bleeding out from her liver lac. I need O-neg!
:'''Dana''': O-neg's gone, honey. Gloria's got more flying in. Incident Command, what's the ETA on our blood?
:''[Incident Command relays it would take eight to ten minutes]''
:'''Dana''': The patient's gonna have to get by with a liter of saline.
:'''King''': No, no, she needs blood, not crystalloid. Um, can she go to surgery?
:'''Dana''': All right, she's next to go, as soon as we get an open OR.
:'''King''': She's not gonna last that long -- Dr. Robby. Dr. Robby! Dr. Robby, we're out of O-neg, but I'm O-neg. Can I donate?
:'''Robinavitch''': Gloria's got more blood flying in.
:'''King''': But I need it now.
:'''Robinavitch''': What is our blood status?
:'''Dana''': Just used the last units of O-neg and O-pos. More flying in.
:'''Robinavitch''': ETA?
:'''Dana''': Less than 10.
:'''King''': Some patients are not gonna last that long. And I'm sure there are other O-neg donors that probably work here, so...
:'''Robinavitch''': It would take hours to screen for HIV and hepatitis.
:'''King''': Well, I have neither, and I donate all the time.
:''[Robby sighs]''
:'''King''': Please.
:'''Robinavitch''': Fuck it. If the patient's gonna die before they get to the OR, then the benefits outweigh the risks.
:'''Dana''': My man. All right, kid, roll up your sleeve I'll meet you in 7. Listen up. Central 7, 8, 9 is now the blood donor center. Anyone who's O-neg or O-pos, we need you to donate now. Hands where I can see them. OK, let's do this.

=== ''7:00 P.M.'' [1.13] ===
:'''Robinavitch''': ''[to his adopted son, about his girlfriend]'' Leah's injuries were really serious. She stopped breathing. We put a tube down her throat to deliver oxygen. We were able to drain the blood that was collapsing her lungs. We gave her as much blood as we could. We even transfused some of her own blood that was in her chest. But we were unable to get ahead of the massive blood loss. Her heart stopped. You saw me doing CPR. We did everything that we could.
:'''Jake Malloy''': She's dead?
:'''Robinavitch: Her heart was damaged beyond repair. There was nothing that we could do to save her. And I don't know how many people I've helped today, but I can tell you every other person who has died. There was a man named Mr. Spencer, who died in front of his children, and an 18-year-old who who was brain dead from a fentanyl overdose and a guy with a heart condition and a little girl who drowned trying to save her sister. ''[sobbing]'' And I'm gonna remember Leah long after you've forgotten her.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Mohan''': What are you doing?
:'''Langdon''': Giving this guy a chance. He needs a big central line for fast transfusion.
:'''Mohan'': You can't do an IJ without an ultrasound, especially on a guy this big.
:'''Mateo Diaz''': You'll kill him if you collapse a lung or hit the carotid.
:'''Langdon''': I'm not doing an IJ. Unhook that blood line. Bring it up here. This is a supraclavicular [[w:Subclavian artery|subclavian]]. If you have to go in blind, this is the only safe way to access a giant vein. And hold compressions. A centimeter from the lateral head of the [[w:Sternocleidomastoid muscle|sternocleidomastoid]], a centimeter off the clavicle, aiming at the contralateral nipple. I'm in. Okay, resume compressions. And squeeze blood.
:'''Mohan''': Where'd you learn that?
:'''Langdon''': &quot;EM: RAP&quot; podcast. We'll be ready for a second unit in under a minute. Boom.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Whitaker''': What are you doing?
:'''Santos''': Prepping for [[w:Resuscitative endovascular balloon occlusion of the aorta|REBOA]].
:'''Whitaker''': Are you crazy? Did Abbot approve this?
:'''Santos''': He said, do what you have to do. Attendings are all tied up. If I can blow up a balloon in the aorta, it'll stop the bleeding.
:'''Whitaker''': It'll cut off the blood supply to half her body.
:'''Santos''': I'll only go in a few inches, zone three, below the kidneys, until she gets up to the OR. Glove up, Huckleberry.
:'''Whitaker''': Okay, you're gonna need an ultrasound, X-ray.
:'''Santos''': Not today.
:'''Whitaker''': Have you done this before?
:'''Santos''': It's a central line. I just need to hit the femoral artery like that. Piece of cake. All right, guidewire, then introducer sheath.

=== ''8:00 P.M.'' [1.14] ===
:'''Robinavitch''': I just wanted to say thank you for earlier when I was, um
:'''Whitaker''': Oh, your brief moment of silent reflection?
:'''Robinavitch''': Yeah. You didn't mention that to anybody?
:'''Whitaker''': No, no. God, no. No.
:'''Robinavitch''': I don't know what that was. I was just felt like I was drowning.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Whitaker''': What was that you were reciting?
:'''Robinavitch''': It's called the ''[[w:Shema|Shema]]'' prayer. It's a declaration of faith in God. I lived with my grandmother when I was little, and she and I used to recite it every morning.
:'''Whitaker''': &quot;Even youths grow tired and weary, &quot;and young men stumble and fall. &quot;But those who hold hope in the Lord &quot;will renew their strength and soar on wings like eagles.&quot; It's [[Isaiah]] 40. I was an undergrad theology major.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Abbot''': Okay, nipples to navel is no man's land. If he got shot while exhaling, the bullet possibly passed below the diaphragm.

=== ''9:00 P.M.'' [1.15] ===
:'''Dr. Walsh''': Once I'm through the fascia, you're gonna sweep a finger around the bladder, open up the [[w:Retropubic space|space of Retzius]].
:'''Dr. Shen''': Named after [[w:Anders Retzius|Anders Retzius]], 19th-century Swedish professor of anatomy.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Abbot''': Deaver [[w:Retractor (medicine)|retractor]].
:'''Dr. Walsh''': Named for [[w:John Blair Deaver|John Blair Deaver]], Philadelphia surgeon who revolutionized abdominal surgery in the early 1900s.
:'''Abbot''': I'm surrounded by med nerds.
:'''Dr. Walsh''': I went to med school at Penn. I walked by his portrait every day. Dude did, like, 100,000 surgeries.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Santos''': I know [[w:Krav Maga|Krav Maga]].
:'''Whitaker''': Cool. I don't know who that is, but he sounds very protective of you.
:'''Santos''': The chances of this working are diminishing by the second. I'm just fucking with you, Whitaker. You're such a Huckleberry.

== Season 2 ==
=== ''7:00 A.M.'' [2.01] ===
:'''Whitaker''': One of the things we like to do here, when we have the time, is to take a moment of silence when we lose a patient to respect their humanity. He was someone's son, perhaps a father himself, a brother or friend. Oh, make sure your phones are on silent.

=== ''8:00 A.M.'' [2.02] ===
:'''Al-Hashimi''': This should be done in the O.R.
:'''Garcia''': I ''am'' the O.R.!

=== ''8:00 P.M.'' [2.14] ===
:'''Duke''':  I can see why you liked restoring this bike. You're a fixer. I fix bikes, but you fix people. That's pretty damn impressive, man.
:'''Robinavitch''': Some people can't be fixed.
:'''Duke''': Look, I'm-- I've done plenty of things I'm not proud of.
:'''Robinavitch''': Yeah, me too.
:'''Duke''': No, bad things-- hurt people on purpose, hurt myself. And I did my time, but that doesn't wash away the regret. I... wish I'd done things differently. I think about it every day.
:'''Robinavitch''': You know, they say that it's never too late to change.
:'''Duke''': Some things can't be changed, like death. Death can't be changed.
:'''Robinavitch''': Hey, I know the surgery is scary--
:'''Duke''': I'm not talking about me.
:'''Robinavitch''': Yeah, I don't know if I wanna be here anymore.
:'''Duke''': I don't know how you stand 12 minutes in there, let alone 12 hours, 20 years.
:'''Robinavitch''': No. That's the only place I can be. I have purpose in there. I can be distracted in there. I don't know that I wanna be... anywhere anymore.
:'''Duke''': So what's the plan?
:'''Robinavitch''': Ride.
:'''Duke''': Toward what?
:'''Robinavitch''': I don't know.
:'''Duke''': Away from what?
:'''Robinavitch''': Everything.
:'''Duke''': Well, that's not riding. That's running. Is that your final lesson for these kids?

=== ''9:00 P.M.'' [2.15] ===
:''[Abbot gives his night shift a pep talk]''
:'''Abbot''': We are the Night Crawlers! We deal with the weirdest and the wildest because…
:'''Night Shift''': We are the weirdest and the wildest of them all!
:'''Abbot''': That is right, and tonight they are ''really'' gonna be crawling. Now go get some!
:'''Night Shift''': HOOAH!
:''[Santos snaps out of half-sleep nearby]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Langdon''': You know who I saw in rehab? I saw a bunch of guys just like you. The only difference is, they've accepted that they need help. I think you're afraid to admit the mighty Dr. Robinavitch isn't perfect.
:'''Robinavitch''': I never claimed to be perfect.
:'''Langdon''': No, but you expect it of yourself and it's not realistic, man. How can any of us live up to your standards if you can't even do it? You need help, Robby. You need help.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Abbot''': You want to know why I never killed myself. After what I saw, lived through. Losing my leg, losing... my wife. Because ''it'' comes for all of us, man. You and I know it more than most. We see it every shift, but we can't let ourselves succumb to it. Yes, life can suck. It can be unbearable and-and-and brutal and ugly and heartbreaking; but it's also beautiful, and hilarious and that woman today, her baby, they both be in the morgue if you hadn't been here. That's us. That's you and me. That's what we're here for.  
:'''Robinavitch''': The most important things I've ever done in my life have been in this hospital. Nothing will ever matter more than what I've done in this hospital, but it is killing me. You know how they say that a part of you dies when you lose someone you love? I'm not convinced that a part of you doesn't die every time you see a fellow human pass. And I've seen so many people die that I feel like it's leaching something from my soul.
:'''Abbot''': Go on a cruise man. Knock off this helmet-less motorcycle shit. Yeah, people talk. That's death wish behavior. 
:'''Robinavitch''': I'm tired of being a role model. Tired of feeling like you can't get ahead. Tired of feeling like I'm drowning every day. Tired of all of it. 
:'''Abbot''': You need to get away for a while. You need to get some help. You need this place as much as it needs you.
:'''Robinavitch''': Am I fucked up?
:'''Abbot''': 100 percent. But nobody works here as long as you and me and doesn't get screwed up. You've gotta find somebody to help you dance through the darkness.
:'''Robinavitch''': ''[pause]'' Did you just make that up?
:'''Abbot''': Maybe it's a song lyric. I don't know. Maybe my therapist said it. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Robinavitch''': ''[to Baby Jane Doe]'' You got off to kind of a rough start, didn't you, little one? Well, that makes two of us. I got abandoned, too. When I was eight. but I got through all of that, and so will you. I got a good feeling that you're gonna be just fine. Everything's gonna be just fine. You got so many wonderful things to see, and so many people to love ahead of you. So many wonderful things to see, people to love ahead of you.

== Cast ==
* [[w:Noah Wyle|Noah Wyle]] - Dr. [[w:Michael &quot;Robby&quot; Robinavitch|Michael &quot;Robby&quot; Robinavitch]]
* [[w:Tracy Ifeachor|Tracy Ifeachor]] - Dr. Heather Collins (season 1)
* [[w:Patrick Ball (actor)|Patrick Ball]] - Dr. Frank Langdon 
* [[w:Katherine LaNasa|Katherine LaNasa]] - [[w:Dana Evans (The Pitt)|Dana Evans]]
* [[w:Supriya Ganesh|Supriya Ganesh]] - Dr. Samira Mohan
* [[Fiona Dourif]] - Dr. Cassie McKay
* [[w:Taylor Dearden|Taylor Dearden]] - Dr. Melissa &quot;Mel&quot; King
* [[w:Isa Briones|Isa Briones]] - Dr. Trinity Santos
* [[w:Gerran Howell|Gerran Howell]] - [[w:Dennis Whitaker|Dennis Whitaker]]
* [[w:Shabana Azeez|Shabana Azeez]] - Victoria Javadi
* [[w:Sepideh Moafi|Sepideh Moafi]] - Dr. Baran Al-Hashimi (season 2)
* [[w:Shawn Hatosy|Shawn Hatosy]] - Dr. Jack Abbot
* [[w:Kristin Villanueva|Kristin Villanueva]] - Princess Dela Cruz
* Amielynn Abellera - Perlah Alawi
* [[w:Alexandra Metz|Alexandra Metz]] - Dr. Yolanda Garcia

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}} 
* {{imdb title|31938062|The Pitt}}
* [https://www.max.com/shows/pitt-2024/e6e7bad9-d48d-4434-b334-7c651ffc4bdf ''The Pitt''] on [[w:HBO Max|HBO Max]]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Pitt, The}}
[[Category:Medical drama TV shows]]
[[Category:HBO Max shows]]
[[Category:Current shows]]
[[Category:TV shows set in Pittsburgh]]</text>
      <sha1>flqgroomcwuqtq2pgyxdzjc9xub68as</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>User:Saroj/100wikiquotedays</title>
    <ns>2</ns>
    <id>304879</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944154</id>
      <parentid>3943840</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T10:41:34Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Saroj</username>
        <id>2925457</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>+</comment>
      <origin>3944154</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="4664" sha1="5658o86o0v70wmpnt5e23g602dvfuzv" xml:space="preserve">I am taking on a personal challenge to create at least one article every day for 100 days. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 13:48, 7 March 2026 (UTC)

# [[Margaret Qualley]], American actress. 7 March 2026
# [[Sabrina Carpenter]], American singer, songwriter, and actress. 8 March 2026
# [[Materialists (film)|''Materialists'' (film)]], 2025 film by [[Celine Song]]. 9 March 2026
# ''[[We Live in Time]]'', 2024 film by John Crowley. 10 March 2026
# ''[[Cha Cha Real Smooth]]'', 2022 film by Cooper Raiff. 11 March 2026
# [[Balen Shah]], Nepalese rapper and politician. 12 March 2026
# [[Sydney Sweeney]], American actress. 13 March 2026
# [[Eternity (2025 film)|''Eternity'' (2025 film)]], 2025 film by David Freyne. 14 March 2026
# [[Alia Bhatt]], British actress. 15 March 2026
# ''[[Uncut Gems]]'', 2019 film by the Safdie brothers. 16 March 2026
# [[Ejae]], South Korean and American singer and songwriter. 17 March 2026
# [[Gracie Abrams]], American singer and songwriter. 18 March 2026
# [[Sara Arjun]], Indian actress.  19 March 2026
# [[Maya Hawke]], American actress and singer-songwriter. 20 March 2026
# [[Tate McRae]], Canadian singer, songwriter, and dancer. 21 March 2026
# [[Dakota Johnson]], American actress. 22 March 2026
# [[August Ames]], Canadian pornographic actress. 23 March 2026
# [[Amy Adams]], American actress. 24 March 2026
# [[Alexandra Botez]], American-Canadian chess player. 25 March 2026
# [[Andrea Botez]], American-Canadian chess player. 26 March 2026
# [[Rachel Zegler]], American actress and singer. 27 March 2026
# [[Amybeth McNulty]], Irish and Canadian actress. 28 March 2026
# [[Robert Pattinson]], English actor. 29 March 2026
# [[Emily Willis]], American pornographic actress. 30 March 2026
# [[Sofia Carson]], American actress and singer. 31 March 2026
# [[Lola Tung]], American actress. 1 April 2026
# [[Charli XCX]], British singer. 2 April 2026
# [[Yami Gautam]], Indian actress. 3 April 2026
# [[Lily James]], English actress. 4 April 2026
# [[Maude Apatow]], American actress. 5 April 2026
# [[Pokimane]], Moroccan and Canadian streamer and YouTuber. 6 April 2026
# [[MrBeast]], American YouTuber. 7 April 2026
# [[Sophia Lillis]], American actress. 8 April 2026
# [[Cailee Spaeny]], American actress. 9 April 2026
# [[Milly Alcock]], Australian actress. 10 April 2026
# [[Alexa Demie]], American actress. 11 April 2026
# [[Austin Butler]], American actor. 12 April 2026
# [[Rosé (singer)|Rosé]], New Zealand and South Korean singer. 13 April 2026
# [[Barry Keoghan]], Irish actor. 14 April 2026
# [[Jessie Buckley]], Irish actress and singer. 15 April 2026
# [[Úrsula Corberó]], Spanish actress. 16 April 2026
# [[Nischal Basnet]], Nepalese film director and actor. 17 April 2026
# [[Ram Charan]], Indian actor. 18 April 2026
# [[Farhan Akhtar]], Indian actor, filmmaker and singer. 19 April 2026
# [[Sajal Aly]], Pakistani actress. 20 April 2026
# [[Kajal Aggarwal]], Indian actress. 21 April 2026
# [[Zac Efron]], American actor. 22 April 2026
# [[Sara Ali Khan]], Indian actress. 23 April 2026
# [[Katrina Kaif]], British actress. 24 April 2026
# [[Vikram (actor)|Vikram]], Indian actor. 25 April 2026
# [[Nicole Wallace]], Spanish actress. 26 April 2026
# [[Aneet Padda]], Indian actress. 27 April 2026
# [[Michael (2026 film)|''Michael'' (2026 film)]], 2026 American film directed by Antoine Fuqua. 28 April 2026
# [[Ryan Gosling]], Canadian actor. 29 April 2026
# [[Diljit Dosanjh]], Indian singer and actor. 30 April 2026
# [[John Abraham]], Indian actor and film producer. 1 May 2026
# [[Suriya]], Indian actor and film producer. 2 May 2026
# [[Rashmika Mandanna]], Indian actress. 3 May 2026
# [[Trisha Krishnan]], Indian actress. 4 May 2026
# [[Henry Cavill]], British actor. 5 May 2026
# [[Bhavitha Mandava]], Indian model. 6 May 2026
# [[Vicky Kaushal]], Indian actor. 7 May 2026
# [[Allu Arjun]], Indian actor. 8 May 2026
# [[Iqra Aziz]], Pakistani actress. 9 May 2026
# [[Keerthy Suresh]], Indian actress. 10 May 2026
# [[Chloë Grace Moretz]], American actress. 11 May 2026
# [[Parineeti Chopra]], Indian actress. 12 May 2026
# [[Saoirse Ronan]], American-born Irish actress. 13 May 2026
# [[Olivia Cooke]], British actress. 14 May 2026
# [[Mrunal Thakur]], Indian actress. 15 May 2026
# [[Hunter Schafer]], American actress and model. 16 May 2026
# [[Nayanthara]], Indian actress and film producer. 17 May 2026
# [[Madison Beer]], American singer. 18 May 2026
# [[Doja Cat]], American rapper. 19 May 2026
# [[Camila Cabello]], American singer-songwriter. 20 May 2026
# [[SZA]], American singer-songwriter. 21 May 2026
# [[Bruno Mars]], American singer-songwriter. 22 May 2026</text>
      <sha1>5658o86o0v70wmpnt5e23g602dvfuzv</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>The Boys (TV series)/Season 5</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>306167</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943853</id>
      <parentid>3943737</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T12:15:10Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* &quot;Blood and Bone&quot; [5.08] */</comment>
      <origin>3943853</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="89865" sha1="ceajnt6qlw6zog6zy44iig312w0ijxw" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Season''' [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 1|1]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 2|2]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 3|3]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 4|4]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 5|5]]  [[The Boys (TV series)|Main]]
----
'''''[[w:The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]''''' is an American superhero television series developed by Eric Kripke for [[w:Amazon Prime Video|Amazon Prime Video]]. Based on the comic book of the same name by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson, it follows the eponymous team of vigilantes as they combat superpowered individuals who abuse their abilities.

===''&quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;'' [5.01]===
:''[Homelander meets with Sister Sage after the Flight 37 video gets leaked to the public by Annie]''
:'''Sister Sage''': We knew this would happen sooner or later. We've been ready. In the last 24 hours, we have flooded the zone with so much disinformation, people can't tell their clit from their collarbone. The share price is only down half a point. Besides that, damage is minimal.
:'''Homelander''': ''[points at open book]'' What's this?
:'''Sister Sage''': That is a Gutenberg Bible. Martin Shkreli sold it to me at discount.
:'''Homelander''': You're really on top of the world, huh? Peter Thiel, the Obamas calling you for advice. Everyone loves you. 
:'''Sister Sage''': You can't really think I care.
:'''Homelander''': Maybe you didn't used to.
:'''Sister Sage''': It's all for you. The higher the share price, the happier the billionaires. The more you get to do whatever the fuck you wanna do.
:'''Homelander''': Are you aware that NNC is calling me a murderer? Saying that maybe I even did something to my son?
:'''Sister Sage''': No. Everyone knows that Ryan is... ''[sighs]'' Sorry. That he is at boarding school. In Svalbard. ''[chuckling]'' That story's holding. We're good.
:'''Homelander''': And how–how about you, Sage? Are you… good?
:'''Sister Sage''': I'm fine.
:'''Homelander''': You're not distracted at all? After Thomas Godolkin dumped you? You're not numbing the heartache by stabbing your brain?
:'''Sister Sage''': No.
:'''Homelander''': Then, just tell me. How did Starlight get in the building? ''[beat; exhales]'' I WAS '''HUMILIATED!''' As if people don't hate me enough!
:'''Sister Sage''': Your numbers are north of 96.
:'''Homelander''': Anyone can smile for the pollsters, sure, but millions of them are still Starlighters in their hearts! Where it counts! Have you seen the memes? Have you seen the ''memes'' about me?! ''[brief pause]'' Posting them should be a crime.
:'''Sister Sage''': Yes, but we can't go... ''[notices Homelander glaring at her]'' Oh, you're serious. Uh, sir... ''[chuckles]'' Ongoing conflict is useful to us. It keeps people afraid…
:'''Homelander''': Shut up.
:'''Sister Sage''': …which is exactly what we–
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no, no! NO! You promised me Caesar.
:'''Sister Sage''': He was stabbed by his best friends.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, well, I can relate to that! But I need people to be ''devoted!'' To '''''me!'''''
:'''Sister Sage''': May I speak freely?
:'''Homelander''': Give it a shot.
:'''Sister Sage''': I told you, no matter how much power you amass, it will not make you happy.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You know what's gonna make me happy? I think I'll be happy when Starlight and William Butcher are corpses. I want it leaked that in three days, we are going to execute Hugh Campbell, Milk, and the... French one. That'll draw out Starlight and Butcher, and then I will take care of this once and for all.
:'''Sister Sage''': Consider it done, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, wow. Your skin is so oily, like hugging a McRib.
:'''Annie''': Wait, did you—Did you just... How?!
:'''Kimiko''': Speech therapy and fucking therapy therapy and so much fucking TikTok.
:'''Annie''': Well, you sure sound like you're on TikTok.
:'''Butcher''': Sixteen-hour flight and not a fucking peep.
:'''Kimiko''': 'Cause all you can say is &quot;Oi, oi, oi. Cunt, cunt, cunt&quot;.
:'''Butcher''': I liked her better with her mouth shut.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Annie''': Took you long enough. Slowing down in your old age?
:'''A-Train''': ''[laughs and hugs Annie]'' Fuck you, [[w:Killing of JonBenét Ramsey|JonBenét]].
:'''Kimiko''': You guys are friends?
:'''A-Train''': You talk?
:'''Kimiko''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Annie''': Reggie's been helping us out for a while.
:'''A-Train''': ''[takes drink from Annie]'' Thanks. Where is everybody? ''[pause]'' I heard about the Pittsburgh raid last month. Go Marie Moreau. How's her team doing?
:'''Annie''': Yeah, they're scoring a few wins, but not nearly enough.
:'''A-Train''': So, what's with the 911?
:'''Annie''': Hughie, M.M. and Frenchie are gonna be executed tomorrow, so we need your help to break them out.
:'''A-Train''': Of a Vought prison camp? You're fucking crazy.
:'''Annie''': Listen, you don't have to fight, okay? We just need you to run them to the extraction point. It's easy.
:'''A-Train''': Easy. Right. You know Homelander's gonna be waiting. I can't.
:'''Annie''': We know how to kill him, okay? But we need Frenchie to do it.
:'''A-Train''': Great. Well, good luck with that.
:'''Annie''': Hey, are you gonna keep running forever? I mean, if we're gonna really take him out, we need your help.
:'''A-Train''': So what, I'm just supposed to join this little fucking supergroup?
:'''Annie''': I mean, we are down one asshоlе, so… Yeah, maybe.
:'''A-Train''': ''[pause]'' No.
:'''Annie''': Why not?
:'''A-Train''': I said I can't.
:'''Annie''': I know you're scared…
:'''A-Train''': No, I'm not fucking scared! I got a family to protect. ''[Annie sighs]'' I can't.
:'''Annie''': I get it, I do. Me, too. ''[pause]'' Keep them safe.
:''[Annie and Kimiko watch A-Train run off]''
:'''Kimiko''': We shouldn't have let him go.
:'''Annie''': No. Homelander fuckеd him up. Fuckеd me up, too. We're gonna need an Exit Plan B.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk go over their escape plan]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so we hit the east gate.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Oui'', Petit Hughie, when the guards change shift.
:'''Hughie''': And we go at dawn.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We've been through this.
:'''Hughie''': I know. I just wanna go over it a few more times just so I can get it in my head.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hughie… ''[holds out moonshine jar]'' Take a fuckin' drink, will you?
:'''Hughie''': No, thanks.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shrugs; to Frenchie]'' ''Mon ami?''
:'''Frenchie''': You know I quit.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Leave it up to you to have your shit the tightest you've ever had it in a fuckin' internment camp.
:'''Frenchie''': Yeah, what about you? Have you been eating the fresh produce I smuggle in?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Moonshine's got corn in it. ''[takes a sip of moonshine]''
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Hughie]'' Hey… Don't worry. Annie will be fine. She's strong.
:'''Hughie''': ''[takes liquor bottle from Frenchie]'' Kimiko, too. 
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Y'all mοthеrfuckеrs are trippin'. Y'all don't know what the fuck's going on with them. ''[to Frenchie]'' Hey, you don't even know where Kimiko's at.
:'''Hughie''': What, so you don't think you're gonna see Janine and Monique again? Is that it?
:'''Mother's Milk''': What I know is that they're a shit ton safer without me making a mess out of their lives.
:'''Hughie''': M.M., you're the strongest guy I know. We've been in tougher spots than this.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, I did two tours in the 3/8 in Farah Province. The shit I saw would ''fuck you up''. And even that was ''Emily in Paris'' compared to the shit that we looking at here. And even if we make it outta here, we ain't surviving this fuckin' war. We are dead men walking. Chin-chin, mοthеrfuckеrs.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie is shocked to see all of his prison bunkmates brutally murdered in their bunker. He sees Homelander sitting on his bed reading from his journal.]''
:'''Homelander''': &quot;Well, Annie, today marks two months. It's a little insane how much I miss you. I've been having trouble eating. Every day, I see people giving up, but not me. Because I have you.&quot; It's very, very sweet.
:'''Hughie''': They were innocent.
:'''Homelander''': Oh… ''[looks briefly at one of the corpses]'' Well, I'd hardly call them innocent. They lied to me. Played dumb about your little stash in the wall there. We've known about that for quite some time, but I just wanted to give you a little hope.
:'''Hughie''': You're not the one who gave it to me, asshоlе.
:'''Homelander''': Ooh, I like Internment Camp Hughie. She's zesty.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck you. Do it.
:'''Homelander''': What?
:'''Hughie''': Kill me.
:'''Homelander''': Not until we flush out Butcher and Starlight.
:'''Hughie''': You think they're dumb enough to just walk right into your trap?
:'''Homelander''': Let's not insult each other. We both know they're coming. ''[throws the journal at Hughie's feet]'' Do you remember when we first met?
:'''Hughie''': How could I forget? 
:'''Homelander''': Believe Festival. I tried to cleanse your soul. I remember thinking... ''[sighs]'' &quot;Why him?&quot; What does Starlight see in this gangly simp that reeks of fear and Strawberry Smoothie kids' shampoo? You know, William and Victoria Neuman love you, too. I mean, I get it from your perspective. You're punching up. Good for you. But why are they so hopelessly devoted to such staggering mediocrity? Why would Starlight and Butcher piss away their lives to try and rescue you?
:'''Hughie''': Because I'd do it for them.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher and Kimiko find Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk tied up and gagged by Homelander when they break into the Vought internment camp]''
:'''Hughie''': Butcher?! Oh, fuck.
:'''Homelander''': ''[waves]'' Surprise. Welcome, William. ''[to Kimiko]'' And you. The gang is almost all here. Oh, and uh, ''[looks down at Mother's Milk]'' you never told me that this one's nickname is... Mother's Milk. ''[licks his lips; laughs]'' Okay. So, what's the big plan? What, are you gonna sandbag me with the Godolkin virus? ''[Butcher looks shocked]'' Yes. I know all about it.
:'''Kimiko''': Suck my fat dіck!
:''[Homelander lasers Kimiko in half. The top half of her body falls to the floor.]''
:'''Homelander''': Hey, where's Starlight? Just doesn't feel like a party without my little lightning bug here... ''[pause; stares at Butcher]'' Jesus Christ, William. You've got a viper's nest in there. I'd heard about it, of course. But seeing it for myself, it's uh… it–it's incredible. I mean, it's fucking disgusting of course, but it's–it's beautiful. What you've done to yourself, what you've become… and you did all that for me? ''[pause]'' Now that… ''that'' is devotion. You know, William, I know we're not exactly equals, but I'm compelled to say… you are the only one that's ever challenged me. And there's a part of me that will be sad to see you go.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A-Train gets badly injured while being chased by Homelander, who eventually catches up to him]''
:'''Homelander''': Looks like someone ''can'' catch the A-Train after all. End of the road, buddy boy.
:''[A-Train starts laughing at Homelander as he gets back up]''
:'''Homelander''': What's so funny?
:'''A-Train''': What was I so afraid of? You are… fucking nothing.
:'''Homelander''': Really?
:''[Homelander lifts A-Train and pins him against a tree]''
:'''A-Train''': ''[grunts]'' Really. You're just an empty fucking suit. Take away these powers… and what are you, huh? A pathetic… weak… sniveling fucking loser.
:''[Homelander wraps his hand around A-Train's neck and slowly chokes him. A-Train continues laughing until Homelander snaps his neck, killing him instantly.]''

===''&quot;Teenage Kix&quot;'' [5.02]===
:'''Oh Father''': We fight hellfire with holy fire! We fight with the ballot box! We fight with the ammo box! Matthew 10:34 — &quot;I do not come to bring the peace, but a sword&quot;! You are not here to be blessed, you are here to do war!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Goddammit, A-Train. It didn't need to come to this. I don't know, you left me no choice! I know that my leadership style can be stern, but it was for your own good! I like to think of myself as the big brother that you never had. You remember that girlfriend you had? Uh... Pop... Popfang. Betrayed us both, to William Butcher, no less. Huge mess, your fault. What did I do? ''What did I do?'' I gave you a chance to make things right, I reached out my hand... and you bit it! What did I ever do to deserve that? What, was I too nurturing? Too forgiving? Well, maybe. But dammit, you weren't like the others: Snakes, backstabbers. I could count on you, man. I ''did'' count on you. I loved you... but here we are. Why does this keep happening to me? I guess the strongest men are the most alone. You wouldn't understand. Nobody does.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander releases Soldier Boy from his cryogenic chamber at Vought Tower. Soldier Boy wakes up the next morning in Homelander's bedroom.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no. It's okay. It's okay, I don't wanna hurt you. You're safe, okay? You've been in deep freeze again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, Jesus Christ. For how long?
:'''Homelander''': Almost two years in a CIA black site. I just found out this morning.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You found out this morning?
:'''Homelander''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But that just happens to be in your room? ''[pause]'' Did you fuck me?
:'''Homelander''': ''[legitimately confused]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this some kind of incest thing?
:'''Homelander''': No!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Then, what the fuck is this?
:'''Homelander''': ''[stammers]'' Look, I... I want you to find William Butcher.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Find him yourself.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the people that work for me are limited. And you are the best tracker there is. I just–I need you to find him and report back. Very simple.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You want me… to work for you?
:'''Homelander''': Well, why don't we say &quot;work ''with'' me&quot;? And... I can help you. I can give you a proper comeback.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need you for that.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the whole world does think that you're a Russian spy, so…
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[takes a deep breath]'' Okay. Alright, listen to me. I'm no ass-felching Commie. You got that?!
:'''Homelander''': I know, I know. And listen, I am Vought now. Me. So, the public, they're gonna believe that you are whatever I tell them you are. I can resurrect you. I can give you back what you lost. I can even make you number two in The Seven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Number two? ''[Homelander nods]'' Or how about I finish the job, and blast you to Kingdom Fuck.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, you could try. Who knows, you might even fry the V right out of my blood. Or you might not. But I'm betting that you hate William Butcher more than you hate... me. After all, I'm–I'm not the one that betrayed you, am I?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I tried to kill you. The minute I turn my back, how do I know you won't return the favor?
:'''Homelander''': Look... 
:''[Homelander picks up Soldier Boy's shield and gives it to him]''
:'''Homelander''': You find William Butcher for me… all is forgiven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat; looks at the shield]'' Looks like a fuckin' kindergarten ashtray. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Soldier Boy, ''[points at Calhoun and Ashley]'' this is the President, Vice President of the United States of America. They work for me. Everyone, Soldier Boy is gonna be number two in The Seven once he has located William Butcher and Annie January.
:'''The Deep''': What? Wait–Wait, what, sir? No, sir. I... I can do this. I can bring them in.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, like you did with A-Train? We're going in a new direction, Deep. Competence. ''[to Calhoun]'' Oh, and Steve, Soldier Boy's gonna need a full pardon.
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, he–he was guilty of... you know, treason. ''[pause; Homelander just stares at him]'' Consider it done, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific. And you know what? I'm sure the man's dying for a drink. Uh, Steve, can you make him a…
:'''Soldier Boy''': Manhattan.
:'''Homelander''': Manhattan. Thanks, Steve.
:'''Calhoun''': Of course. Can I get you a glass of milk, sir?
:'''Homelander''': ''[sternly]'' No. Steven… I'll also have a Manhattan.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goddamn. Since when could Supes teabag the President?
:'''Homelander''': Since me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Hughie looking despondent on their way back to the Teenage Kix mansion]''
:'''Butcher''': Oi, fuckin' smile, Hughie. I mean, ain't you a little glad A-Train's dead?
:'''Hughie''': …No, I'm not glad he's dead. A-Train did a lot of horrible things, but he saved our lives, and he died a hero. A real hero. There are a lot of other Supes that don't deserve to die either.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, I know you just done a year in the gulag. You've earned your seat at the table, so... I'll give it to ya straight. You gotta knock this wet, gaping pussy shite on the head, mate. Ain't doin' no one no favours. Especially your girl. I mean, that's why she's givin' you the cold shoulder.
:'''Hughie''': Don't talk to me about Annie. You don't know what's going on with her.
:'''Butcher''': Well, I know that she finally knows the fuckin' score. And she knows that you poncin' about with this Jiminy Cricket, &quot;listen to your heart&quot; bollocks is just gonna get her killed.
:'''Hughie''': Is there any part of you left that's still human? ''[pause]'' You're gonna get Annie killed, not me… but I won't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Noted.
:''[A shield suddenly pierces the windshield of the Boys' truck. Hughie catches the virus vial right as they crash into another vehicle.]''
:'''Hughie''': Fuck!
:'''Kimiko''': Hughie, the vial!
:'''Hughie''': It's good. ''[stares at the shield]'' Wait, is that...?
:''[They see Soldier Boy walking up the street towards them]''
:'''Butcher''': Well, well, well.
:'''Kimiko''': He's dead, right? He's supposed to be dead?
:'''Butcher''': Supposed to be. Mallory put him in ice for a bit.
:'''Hughie''': ''[slowly turns to face Butcher]'' You're telling us this ''now?''
:'''Butcher''': Somebody up there likes us, mate.
:'''Hughie''': In what fucking way?!
:'''Butcher''': Well, we wanted a guinea pig. Who better than Homelander's old man? New plan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Butcher''': Oi. Ain't you supposed to be a giant ice dіldо?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Aren't you supposed to be smart? Renting a truck under the name &quot;Don T. Beakunt.&quot; Same alias when we headed to Herogasm.
:'''Butcher''': Well, oldie, but a goodie.
:''[Soldier Boy sees Hughie and Kimiko get out of the truck and run away]'' 
:'''Butcher''': No, mate. Just you and me.
:''[Soldier Boy shoots Butcher three times, but to no avail. Butcher, still standing, looks down at his chest then looks back up at Soldier Boy.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess it's true. You're one of us now.
:'''Butcher''': Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Then fuckin' beat 'em.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Being super is not gonna save you.
:'''Butcher''': That don't stop us helpin' each other. Homelander's double the cunt now, if that's even possible. He needs doin' more than ever. You still fancy his seat on The Seven, don't ya?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Fuck you! We had a deal! I held up my end of the bargain, and you sold me out. Put me back in a fucking box! And for what? 'Cause I was gonna kill some dumb kid?
:'''Butcher''': That kid is your grandson.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, was it worth it? You feeling good about that call right about now? Where is that fucking brat?
:'''Butcher''': Homelander's the one fuckin' you over, mate. Or did he mention that we've got an uber virus strong enough to kill every fuckin' Supe on the planet?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Bullshit.
:'''Butcher''': God's honest. The things this virus can do... ''Fuckin' diabolical.'' Why d'you think he sent you here instead of coming himself, hmm? You're the sacrificial cunt. Again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess we'll see.
:'''Butcher''': You don't get it, do ya? Me, Homelander, your old crew–Everyone fucks you over. Do you wanna know why? 'Cause you... are a dumb fuckin' twat.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hughie Campbell. How is a useless cock-gobbler like you still alive?
:'''Hughie''': All your jokes are about dudes blowing dudes. You're kind of obsessed!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this the virus he was going on about? The so-called &quot;Supe Killer&quot;? Well, not today, you semen-swilling butt pirate.
:'''Hughie''': What?

===''&quot;Every One of You Sons of Bitches&quot;'' [5.03]===
:''[Homelander has a psychotic breakdown and hallucinates Madelyn Stillwell appearing to him as an angel]''
:'''Homelander''': Madelyn...!
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, my boy! My sweet boy... What is wrong? Why are you unhappy?
:'''Homelander''': My father and my son! Everything, it's all falling apart!
:'''Madelyn''': No! No, it's exactly what needed to happen. Yes, it's been foretold! You're about to ascend. Become immortal. Divine. A true god with the love of the world.
:'''Homelander''': But–
:'''Madelyn''': I know, you think love is weak and human. But who is more loved than Jesus? And why should he have more love than you? You save more people than he does. The one, true god...
:'''Homelander''': Yes... But how? How? Millions of people just hate me...
:'''Madelyn''': Well, then you baptize the unfaithful in their own blood. Rip babies from their mothers' wombs.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': Skin parents in front of their children. Rid the world of the wicked.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': The nonbelievers...
:'''Homelander''': They'll call me a monster...
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, the only ones left will be your faithful. And they will love you in their hearts. They'll cry happy tears at the mere thought of you. You have one last task, my love.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Homelander?
:'''Homelander''': Up here.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What do you– ''[sees Homelander taking a bath]'' What in the fuck? Is that milk?
:'''Homelander''': Better. Breastmilk from the NICU at Mount Sinai.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So, what? You asked me up here so I could watch you swim in tit jizz?
:'''Homelander''': I wanna give you another chance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You wanna give ''me'' another chance?
:'''Homelander''': Yes. Help me find that V1.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd rather fist myself with a handful of razors. Besides, Cleopatra Jones said there's no V1 to find.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, there most certainly is. And I am going to find it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah? What makes you so sure?
:'''Homelander''': ''[smiling]'' An angel told me. It's my destiny.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Just when I thought there was a ceiling to how fuckin' weird you could get.
:'''Homelander''': Yes, yes. Make your jokes. You've been blessed with immortality, and what have you done with it? Drink and fuck yourself numb. You... You are a disappointment. You see... ''[stands up and gets out of the tub]'' I am not gonna waste my immortality. I am gonna take what's rightfully mine. I'm asking you if you want a seat at the table because you're my father. But with or without you... a reckoning is coming.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' You know, all I see is a freak. A freak with a bushel of gray pubes. Try some Just for Men.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher takes Ryan to a pub to discuss his plan to kill Homelander with the Supe virus]''
:'''Butcher''': All you do is get him on the blower and tell him you wanna see him. When he rocks up, you chuck the shit in his face... and that'll be it.
:'''Ryan''': Why me?
:'''Butcher''': 'Cause he won't leave the fortress of cuntitude for anyone else.
:'''Ryan''': So this is what you wanted to talk to me about. Killing my dad.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, mate–
:'''Ryan''': Is that all you think I'm good for?
:'''Butcher''': I ain't gonna treat you like a kid no more, alright? You're done with that. Homelander raped your mum. He's gonna burn everything down, and you are the only one who can stop him. Now... Normally, I don't put no stock in any of that bollocks about destiny, but if anyone's got one, it's you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause; sighs]'' I throw this virus at him... what'll happen to me?
:'''Butcher''': You'll die. I'll be close by and we'll go together. Now... I ain't gonna lie to you. This… this is not what your mum wanted… But it's the only way. And it will be justice.
:'''Ryan''': You're asking me to kill myself?
:'''Butcher''': You wouldn't be the first lad to throw his life away in a war... but you would be the first to save the world doin' it. ''[beat; sighs heavily]'' I'll fetch us a pint.
:''[Later, Butcher returns with a pint of beer]''
:'''Butcher''': Here. Told her you were 30. ''[Ryan chuckles]'' Fuck the leather, fuck the lace, here's to the bird who sits on yer face. ''[takes a long sip of beer]''
:'''Ryan''': Where'd you pick that up?
:'''Butcher''': Me old man.
:'''Ryan''': You two close?
:'''Butcher''': Nah, not really. He was a... a piss artist. Used to lose all his money on the gee-gees–horses–and then, he'd come home, beat the livin' daylights outta Len and me. And then later, laugh about it with his mates. Yeah, he was a right cunt.
:'''Ryan''': Where is he now?
:'''Butcher''': Bottom of the Thames. I put him there, just the other day. Only wish I'd done it sooner, before he caused more... more damage.
:'''Ryan''': Butcher... Do you think that I could ever... That I might turn into my dad?
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know.
:'''Ryan''': ''[sighs]'' My mom... Aunt Grace... the others... All I do is hurt people. I can't be around anyone.
:'''Butcher''': Without us–without Supes–the world is a better, safer place.
:'''Ryan''': ''[beat]'' I'll do it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Edgar ''': You're fighting an unbeatable foe. You know that, right?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Who? Vought?
:'''Edgar''': Please. It's more powerful than Vought. Or Homelander. More powerful than nature or life itself. It's profit and loss; supply and demand; the elegant flow of currency across the globe. We're just cogs in a great machine, and we all have our part to play. Say you kill Soldier Boy, or Homelander, or even release this virus. When superheroes go out of fashion, something else will just take their place. Because corporations must still grow. Money must still be made. The machine must still be fed. That is the way of the world.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Motherfucker. When this is all over... you're aiming to run Vought again, ain't you?
:'''Edgar''': Like I said. We all have our part to play.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[pause]'' If that day ever comes... I have a part to play, too. And that's to put a bullet in your fuckin' skull.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy and Firecracker are on her TruthBomb talkshow set preparing for their interview together]''
:'''Firecracker''': It's an honor to have a great American like yourself on the show. I guess it runs in the family, huh? Homelander's father… Dang.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks at the gun at Firecracker's hip]'' Glock, huh? Never saw the appeal in foreign-made guns.
:'''Firecracker''': Well, this ain't your granddaddy's Glock. This here's a 9mm Gen 5, seven-round capacity with a crisp fuckin' break.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, mine's a much longer barrel. ''[takes out his pistol]'' Battle-proven, all-American Colt 1911 chambered in .45 ACP. ''[cocks pistol]'' That'll blow your fuckin' panties off. Now, that little Glock–That's good for a late-night Harlem stroll, but uh, this here? That's a certified Kraut killer.
:'''Firecracker''': I think you mean an antique.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean a classic. You wanna give it a try? ''[Firecracker examines the pistol]'' Now, some can't handle the kick, but something tells me you'll do just fine.
:''[Cut to Soldier Boy and Firecracker in bed together after having sex]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Whew. Well, I gotta hand it to you. I haven't fuckеd that hard since... since I railed Shari Lewis on the balcony of Studio 54.
:'''Firecracker''': I ain't got no idea who that is.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well... Hey, why the hairless pussy?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[gives Soldier Boy a disgusted look]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean, what's the point of going down there if you're not gonna get a fat face full of fur? Is that how Homelander likes you? Like a baby?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' More like a mother.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But you two have fuckеd, right?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[shakes her head]'' Mm-mm.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Damn. I gotta admit, I was kinda just doing this as petty revenge against the freak.
:'''Firecracker''': That's terrible. Who would do such a thing? And you shouldn't say that about your son.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Ah, he thinks he's better than me.
:'''Firecracker''': He doesn't.
:'''Soldier Boy''': How do you know?
:'''Firecracker''': I don't know much, but I can read people. And the way he looks at you? Shoot. I ain't never seen him look at nobody like that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Uh, that's not exactly a compliment, doll. He is the strangest mοthеrfuckеr I've ever known, and I've had a threesome with Gary Busey.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ryan and Homelander meet up at the now-abandoned VoughtLand building]''
:'''Ryan''': Do you remember when you took me here? Pretended to care about me?
:'''Homelander''': I ''do'' care about you, son. I love you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause]'' I need to ask you–
:'''Homelander''': For my forgiveness? You already have it.
:'''Ryan''': What?
:'''Homelander''': Okay, let me finish. I put too much pressure on you to fill my boots. And–And I realize now that, uh... Well, that–that was impossible. But I do have some pretty exciting news. I am going to live forever now. I'll realize my own legacy. And you... ''[scoffs]'' you're off the hook. You can do whatever–
:'''Ryan''': Did you do it? Did you rapе my mom?
:'''Homelander''': What?! Of course not. Who told you–Did William Butcher tell you that? Your mother and I, we had an affair. A consensual affair between two adults.
:'''Ryan''': Your heart's racing.
:'''Homelander''': Well, yeah, because I'm shocked. And–And frankly, my heart's breaking a little bit that you could think I would do something like that.
:''[Ryan lasers Homelander, leaving a visible wound near his chest]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan... Ryan, stop!
:''[Ryan lunges at Homelander and shoves him against the wall. Homelander ducks below Ryan's fist to avoid getting punched by him.]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan! I don't know where this is coming from, because your mother… ''She'' came on to ''me.''
:''[Ryan punches Homelander twice and tries to laser him again. Homelander quickly dodges him again.]''
:'''Homelander''': ''Ryan!'' Son... ''[moves away to avoid another punch]'' Ryan! Ryan, buddy... Look what came out of it: My son! A blessing! ''[Ryan attacks him again]'' Hey, hey! Stop!
:''[Ryan readies another laser, which gets redirected when Homelander grabs his face. He punches Homelander in the face again, but Homelander gets the upper hand and slams Ryan several times into a box. Homelander wipes blood away from his nose as Ryan whimpers in pain.]''
:'''Homelander''': Oh, Ryan... Dammit. Look at what you made me do. ''[pause; kneels down to restrain Ryan]'' Shh... Shh, shh, shh. Hey... It's okay. My sweet, sweet boy.
:''[Homelander proceeds to punch Ryan repeatedly in the face until he is beaten nearly to death]''

===''&quot;King of Hell&quot;'' [5.04]===
:'''Homelander''': I need you for something.
:'''Firecracker''': You do?
:'''Homelander''': I have received the most wonderful message. I was visited... by an angel. And she foretold my destiny.
:'''Firecracker''': Wow. Well, praise be. And what is it?
:'''Homelander''': God.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, that is wonderful. There is no higher calling than servin' the Lord.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. Not serving the Lord. Being the Lord. I am the Messiah. I'm the savior of the world.
:'''Firecracker''': The... Messiah?
:'''Homelander''': Yes.
:''[Firecracker smiles despite her being clearly disturbed by Homelander's delusions]''
:'''Firecracker''': Um... Congrats.
:'''Homelander''': Thank you. ''[pause; Firecracker giggles nervously]'' I always knew I was special. I knew it. I suffered. I suffered so many hardships, and I... I couldn't understand why, but you... You... You always saw it, didn't you? You knew all along I was special. That is why I have chosen you to spread the word of my coming.
:'''Firecracker''': How?
:'''Homelander''': Well, we control the most powerful media apparatus on Earth. Jesus would kill for our marketing. What do you say?
:'''Firecracker''': ...Well, you know I would do anything for you, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys are hiking through the woods near Fort Harmony]''
:'''Kimiko''': It's weird. No birds or animals. It's like…
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. ''[to Mother's Milk]'' Had to park on the other side of the state, didn't ya?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Well, if the hike's too hard, why don't you try tying your boots, mοthеrfuckеr.
:''[Hughie is shocked to see a heavily decomposed corpse]''
:'''Hughie''': Oh, fuck that.
:'''Butcher''': Eh. Not really my type, son.
:'''Hughie''': Hey, how about showing a little respect?
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, Hughie's right, Butcher. You should take her out to dinner first. ''[chuckles; sighs]'' Let's see here. Based on the decomp, these bodies have been here for a while.
:'''Frenchie''': Something ripped them apart. Whatever killed those Boy Scouts might still stalk these woods.
:'''Butcher''': Let's get a move on, then. Didn't come out here to get bummed by Bigfoot.
:''[...]''
:'''Butcher''': Any sign of Super Cunt?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Could already be inside.
:'''Butcher''': Well, let's find out.
:'''Kimiko''': ''[to Hughie]'' What's wrong?
:'''Hughie''': Annie.
:'''Kimiko''': She'll come back.
:'''Hughie''': No. I almost died, but she made it all about her and she took off. I mean, last year, I got bad-touched by a shape-shifter, and she still found a way to make it about her. She can be such a fucking bitch. ''[pause; sees Kimiko looking at him in shock]'' Uh... Jesus. Sorry, I–I didn't mean for that to come out so harsh.
:''[The Boys see an entire field littered with animal carcasses]''
:'''Butcher''': ''Fuckin' hell.''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck happened here?
:'''Frenchie''': Our V'd-up beast enjoyed an amuse-bouche, perhaps?
:'''Butcher''': Well, explains why we didn't hear no animals.
:'''Kimiko''': I said that ten minutes ago.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys discover more decomposed corpses as they make their way downstairs to the lab inside Fort Harmony]''
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. They've been here a minute, haven't they?
:'''Frenchie''': Decades. Hunters... ''[pause; notices the knives embedded in the corpses]'' Look at their knives. These men, they killed each other. What if there is a monster here, but it's us?
:'''Butcher''': What the fuck are you on about, Frenchie?
:'''Frenchie''': [[w:Toxoplasma gondii|Toxoplasmosis]]. It's a parasite in cat shit. It can infect humans. Makes them react with explosive anger.
:'''Hughie''': You think we ate cat shit?
:'''Frenchie''': Ate? No... If the V1 spilled into the groundwater, it could mutate the plants. Their spores fill us with rage, we murder each other, and ''voilà''. We're plant food for these vines.
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so like [[w:The Last of Us (video game)|''The Last of Us'']]?
:'''Frenchie''': No, that is just [[w:The Walking Dead (comic book)|''The Walking Dead'']] with mushrooms. The dead campers, the animals, these hunters... Surely, you all see how strangely you've been acting.
:'''Kimiko''': Us? I've seen you blow cоcaіnе up your dіckhole.
:'''Frenchie''': Wait... You have a point. The copious amount of drug I've taken for decades has surely altered my brain chemistry. That's why I'm not affected. 
:'''Kimiko''': Guess being a junkie was good for something after all.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Romeo and fuckin' Juliet. You two survive this war, I give you six months tops.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy search the ground floor of Fort Harmony while the Boys are in the basement below looking for the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sniffs]'' Smells like deer piss. The last time I was here, I was fresh off the front lines, still picking Nazi brains out of my hair. And only the best of the best got selected for Dr. Vought's trials.
:'''Homelander''': Hmmph.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Not soft little hog-chompers.
:'''Homelander''': Of course. No, I forgot how tough you were.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hey, I'm not the weirdo who doesn't fuck. I mean, your cock's as useless as your cape. What's the point of being famous if you're not getting your dіck wet?
:'''Homelander''': Oh, my dіck was sopping wet when I pulled it out of Stormfront and wiped it on her fucking chin!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; looks down at the decomposed corpses]'' Ooh, look. More uggos. 
:'''Homelander''': Friends of yours?
:''[They unknowingly set off the motion detector that the Boys set up near the stairs]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Oh, shit. They're right above us.
:'''Butcher''': We best get the fuck outta here. Come on.
:'''Hughie''': Hey. Hey, what about the V1?
:'''Mother's Milk''': If Bombsight has the V1, then it saves us from having to torch it.
:'''Hughie''': What are you talking about? Who's &quot;us&quot;?
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' What? You think the world needs more immortal cunts, do ya?
:'''Hughie''': We need it to save Annie and Kimiko! You've been planning this this whole time, haven't you?!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh. Homelander will hear us.
:'''Hughie''': ''[to Mother's Milk]'' And you, you've just been going along with it again.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We can't take the risk, Hughie. And if she has to be collateral damage so that Homelander dies and my daughter lives, we ain't got no fucking choice!
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, easy for you to say. It won't fucking kill you!
:'''Butcher''': Well, at least he knows when to keep his gob shut and do as he's fuckin' told!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Excuse me?
:'''Frenchie''': No, no, no. We don't have time for this. We need to find a way out now.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Wanna know a little secret, Butcher? I ''cheered'' when I found out that you were dying, 'cause at least we'd finally be done with your miserable ass.
:'''Hughie''': You know, I used to say to these guys, &quot;Don't give up on Butcher. There's good in him fighting to get out.&quot; I was wrong. If there was ''anything'' human in there, it's dead. Underneath that chestful of octo-cocks, you are just a fucking monster.
:'''Butcher''': Well, maybe I like it better that way.
:'''Hughie''': That parasite's not just in you. It ''is'' you. ''You're'' the cancer!
:'''Frenchie''': ''Lower your voices.''
:'''Hughie''': You are just as bad as Homelander, maybe worse. And I'm not gonna let you drag us all down with you.
:'''Butcher''': And whatcha gonna do about it?
:'''Hughie''': I'll fucking kill you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': ''[chuckles]'' Tough guy, my ass.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What?
:'''Homelander''': You, your whole bit. This whole &quot;guts and glory&quot; thing. What a fucking joke. I read your classified file. Your brother won a Silver Star for bravery at [[w:Battle of Anzio|Anzio]], and that's what made you beg your father to buy you a spot in Dr. Vought's trials. Because it killed you to see your brother dripping in all that glory, making you look all the more feeble in comparison.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't know shit about me.
:'''Homelander''': Really? I know that when they tried to inject you with the V, you were so fucking petrified that they had to strap you to the table. And you pissed yourself, crying for your mommy like the whiny, spoiled little rich boy that you are. They gave you the world, and you? You deserve ''nothing.''
:''[Soldier Boy stands by as Homelander walks into a small chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Oh, Christ. What's this shithole now?
:''[Soldier Boy shuts the door while Homelander isn't looking and turns the wheel to lock him inside the chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': What are you doing?!
:''[Soldier Boy bends the wheel with his bare hands and tears it off the door]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, well done. I'll be out of here in 30 seconds!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. Maybe not.
:''[Soldier Boy pulls down a lever to open a radioactive valve. Homelander's face immediately starts blistering from the radiation.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': It's enriched uranium. They'd stick us Supes in there to see if we could survive an atomic bomb. Now, for a normal joe, they'd be dead in minutes. But for you, it's a stomach flu. Good luck, though, getting out of a Supe-proof cell while you're bleeding out of your ass.
:''[Homelander fails to kill Soldier Boy by lasering him. He punches the glass as Soldier Boy walks off.]''
:'''Homelander''': Where are you going?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'm gonna go destroy any V1 that I find, you Triple Crown cock jockey.
:'''Homelander''': Why?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't get it, do you? How much I can't fucking stand you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Homelander trapped inside the uranium chamber]''
:'''Butcher''': ''[laughs]'' Oh, if only the world could see you now. Not so fuckin' super, are ya? You, uh... ''[points at Homelander's face]'' You got a bit of... ''[pause; Homelander coughs]'' Did your dad put you in timeout? Ooh… That's gotta sting, knowin' he'd rather spend eternity all alone than with the likes of you. What's the matter? Cunt got your tongue? Will wonders ever cease? ''[chuckles; lights cigarette]'' Tell me something. If you do get the juice in you, you think that makes you a god, don't ya? Seems like I know you pretty well after all. Which is why I know that even if you had a billion twats garglin' your bollocks and singin' &quot;Hosanna&quot;, you still wouldn't be happy. 'Cause deep down, you're just a weak, thin-skinned, needy little boy. You beat the shit outta your own son. Don't get weaker than that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs weakly while groaning in pain]'' Ryan is alive… because he's strong. 'Cause he's my son. The son of God.
:'''Butcher''': You ain't no god. How's about I go fetch the virus, and then we'll watch you shit your fuckin' spine out?
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You don't have it, do you? The virus.
:'''Butcher''': …Don't I?
:'''Homelander''': No, you don't. You would have used it by now. ''[coughs; laughs hysterically]'' You have no way to stop me, do you? Oh, William. You have no idea what you're up against. You can't intervene. I ''will'' get the V1, and when I do, I'm gonna flay you alive. You, Starlight–All the nonbelievers. You're all gonna ''fuckin' drown'' in your own blood.
:'''Butcher''': I promise you, before I die... I'll fuckin' have you. ''[walks away]''
:'''Homelander''': YOU'RE ALL FUCKING PASTE! I can take what's mine, and that makes this WHOLE FUCKING SHITBALL ''MY BIRTHRIGHT! '''MY DESTINY!'''''

===''&quot;One-Shots&quot;'' [5.05]===
:'''Firecracker''': Next up is a $500 million ad blitz with OOH, e-blasts, print and digital. Ain’t nobody won’t know about the Democratic Church of America… and its chosen prophet.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Prophets are servants.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course, sir. Great point. We’re just trying to ease people into it.
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no. We need to prepare America for my ascension. We must be honest. We must be direct. I like “savior.” Or–Or…
:'''Oh Father''': Lord. Yes, I couldn’t agree more, sir. Religion is not about being meek. We should dominate the seven mountains of society, bring the Kingdom of Heaven to Earth! Amen!
:'''Homelander''': Amen.
:'''Firecracker''': Amen! I love all that!
:'''The Deep''': So fucking dope.
:'''Oh Father''': Easter is just around the corner. How perfect would it be for your second coming to come on the day of Jesus' resurrection?
:'''Homelander''': Mmm… Second coming? Let's be clear: I am not the son of God.
:'''Oh Father''': Well, of course. Many people believe that Jesus is both God incarnate and the son.
:'''Homelander''': Well, that's just confusing. I don't want my church getting involved in all... that.
:'''Firecracker''': Exactly. Besides, if we pull up our timeline, you won't have… ''[picks up a bag with a large book inside]'' this.
:''[Firecracker kneels in front of Homelander, who accepts the book. He takes it out of the bag and sees &quot;The Homelander Bible&quot; with himself embossed on the cover.]''
:'''Oh Father''': We're gonna drag our feet because of a book?
:'''Firecracker''': Not a book. ''The'' book. The Homelander Bible.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause; lifts the book with his hands]'' Heavy.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[quietly]'' What the fuck?
:'''Firecracker''': It's got the Old Testament, the New Testament, and the brand new American Testament, written by A.I. trained on the works of Pat Robertson. See, we need to pass the torch, sir. From Jesus to you. Sir, we don't get more than one chance at a first impression. Are we really gonna rush something this important? We ain't [w:Arby's|Arby's]], after all.
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Firecracker''': We're the [[w:The Cheesecake Factory|Cheesecake Factory]].
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs deeply]'' Okay. We'll do it your way.
:'''Firecracker''': Thank you.
:'''Sister Sage''': You do realize this kind of sudden religious upheaval is likely to generate widespread civil unrest?
:'''Firecracker''': Local law should be able to handle the suburbs, but we could use extra hands in major metros.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, let's recall all Supes stationed overseas. American heroes should be protecting America, not Who-Gives-A-Fuckistan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Firecracker''': We ain't doin' that again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[chuckles]'' That's what you said the last six times.
:'''Firecracker''': No, I really mean it this time.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You seem a little out of it. Did you nut? 'Cause usually, you nut.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' Were you baptized?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah, in front of half of Chestnut Hill. Governor Sproul did the honors. My family kept up appearances, of course. Then, we never set foot in church again.
:'''Firecracker''': I had lunch today with the reverend who baptized me. He's been gettin' heat to switch over to our church. You think Homelander might be open to going easy on him? Just... give him a little more time? I wouldn't ask if it was just anybody, but that man practically raised me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So you didn't nut. You know, this whole Homelander as God shit, it's... it's fucking ridiculous.
:'''Firecracker''': Really? You think so?
:'''Soldier Boy''': If he's the second coming, then what does that make me? Joseph? I mean, talk about the biggest cuck in history. Man trades his best cow to bag some hot-ass virgin, and then God comes and squirts his baby gravy up her meat wallet. Fuck that.
:'''Firecracker''': I guess I've been struggling with where to place Homelander in my heart in relation to Jesus and the Lord.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course I worship Homelander. I mean, he's always been a god to me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Look, I'll tell you this. If there is a God... sure as hell didn't come out of my balls. I gotta go.
:'''Firecracker''': Where you off to?
:'''Soldier Boy''': L.A… ''[snickers]'' I fucking hate L.A.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker is filming her new episode of TruthBomb and starts reading her opening monologue from a teleprompter]''
:'''Firecracker''': Welcome to ''Truthbomb''. Our top story tonight's a personal one. It's the story of my hometown church, Holy Baptist of Daytona. It was the church I grew up in. Sang my hymns from the pews there every Sunday. But that church... That church…
:''[The teleprompter stops scrolling]''
:'''Firecracker''': ''[beat]'' That church... has become a hotbed of Starlighter infestation. And my old pastor, Reverend Greg Dupree, has been infected by Starlight's seditious propaganda. Now... I never told a soul this, but when I was a little girl, the reverend regularly had me over for supper. Alone. ''[pause; chuckles]'' No. Nothing ever happened to me, but... ''[sighs]'' I heard stories about his &quot;Fish Fry Fridays.&quot; And if that ain't code for child groomin', I don't know what is. How much longer are we gonna let these institutional pedo churches diddle our babies? Americans deserve better. They deserve... Homelander. They deserve the Democratic Church of America. ''[starts crying]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Would you like some knee pads?
:'''The Deep''': Sorry, what?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're looking at me like you wanna suck my hog. So I'm asking you if you would like some knee pads.
:'''Homelander''': Go easy on the little guy. He brought me Stan Edgar.
:'''The Deep''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Homelander''': You may leave.
:''[Soldier Boy stays behind with Homelander in the conference room as the rest of The Seven leave]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What crawled up your shithole?
:'''Homelander''': No idea what you mean.
:'''Soldier Boy''': When you're pissy, you tend to make everybody else's lives pissy too. Stan Edgar still stonewalling you?
:'''Homelander''': I've talked to him three times now. Says he has no idea where the V1 is. Heart rate steady as a rock. I'm starting to believe him.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That slippery fuck used to fetch my cоcaіnе. ''[pause]'' You know what? I have an idea. Why don't I take a crack at him? ''[Homelander stares at him]'' What, you don't trust me?
:'''Homelander''': Well, you did lock me in a room with nuclear material and tried to stop me getting the V1, so I'm sure you can understand my hesitance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You could've killed me at Fort Harmony, but you didn't. Maybe I feel like I owe you.
:'''Homelander''': Or maybe you're lying.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. ''[inhales deeply]'' Give me an hour. I'll meet you at Edgar's cell.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hughie''': If you and M.M. still think–
:'''Butcher''': Oh, for fuck's sakes, Hughie. Knock it off with this V1 shite! You're doin' me fuckin' head in! ''[sees his dog Terror eating out of the trash]'' Oi, Terror. Cut it out. Come on. ''[to Hughie]'' Now, listen. If we do find that stuff, we're not makin' any fuckin' vaccines out of it, alright? We're not the department of fuckin' health. We burn that shit before Homelander gets his paws on it, and that's that.
:'''Hughie''': Well, if you wanna kill yourself, knock yourself out, but why do you have to decide for the rest of us?
:'''Butcher''': Oh, 'cause I'm fuckin' right! 'Cause I've always been right! I've been tellin' you lot from the fuckin' start the sky is fallin', and guess what? The sky fuckin' fell.
:'''Hughie''': Well, you kinda helped bring it down.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, don't give me that bollocks. Listen, Homelander thinks he's a fuckin' god. Once he becomes immortal, he's gonna start killin' like one, and we are talkin' millions of people. Now, are you tellin' me you're honestly happy to risk all of that for a life on the run with your girl, knowin' that you could've stopped it? You can live with that, can ya?
:'''Hughie''': What if it was Becca? You'd just let her die?
:'''Butcher''': …I ''did'' let her die.
:'''Hughie''': Look… I know that Homelander comes first. I really do. All I'm asking is that we try. Annie and Kimiko deserve that much.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mister Marathon and Malchemical try to convince Soldier Boy to kill Homelander while he is unconscious]''
:'''Mister Marathon''': Hey, man, we don't have a problem with you. Honest, ''[stutters]'' but–but fuck this fucking guy. You know, he fuckеd my life. Look, if you help us get rid of him, then we all win, and you–you can have The Seven. And I don't even, like, really care if you bring me back or whatever.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need to kill him to get The Seven.
:'''Mister Marathon''': No. Yeah, of course not, but what about all that creepy shit he's doing with that church? I mean, they're rounding up everybody cool. All the hοοkers, the drug dealers.
:'''Malchemical''': They wanna ban pοrn. I mean, they wanna ban fucking abortions!
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay, well, banning abortion would be a big problem for me personally.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Exactly, for all of us. So, if we kill him, we can stop worrying about being cops or gods or asexual weirdos. You know, we can go back to fucking and–and being fucking awesome!
:'''Malchemical''': Look, we know you've got that fucked-up chest blast thing. I mean, I was at Herogasm. I saw it.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Just finish him now. Take away his powers, so we can curb stomp him while we have the chance. 
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' He is a fucking asexual weirdo.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Malchemical''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But as much as it pains me to say this, he's ''my'' fucking asexual weirdo. Nobody fucks my son but me.
:'''Mister Marathon''': What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …That came out wrong.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker sees Homelander sitting on the couch in the Seven common room]''
:'''Firecracker''': Homelander… How was L.A.? Did you catch tonight's ''Truthbomb?''
:'''Homelander''': I did indeed. And it was a real barn-burner. Well done.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[smiles]'' Thank you, sir. That means the world.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' How's sеx with my father? ''[Firecracker's smile disappears]'' Is he good at it? Are you thinking about me when you're making love to him?
:'''Firecracker''': I never meant to cross a line or offend you in...
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Don't fret, little one. I don't care about the sеx, really. But I ''do'' care about your little chats after sеx.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, whatever Soldier Boy told you, I can assure you that I...
:'''Homelander''': You mean your inner turmoil when it comes to me and, uh, Jesus? Are you thinking of Jesus when you're praising me?
:'''Firecracker''': No, you are my one and only savior.
:'''Homelander''': You say that, but your jagged little heart is whirring like a hummingbird. ''[sighs; gets up from the couch]'' You're supposed to worship me, love me and me alone.
:'''Firecracker''': I do.
:'''Homelander''': I believed in you. Turns out, you don't believe in me. ''[pause]'' I need you to collect your things and leave.
:'''Firecracker''': But I ''do'' believe in you. I love you! I am the only one here who ever has! I gave you ''everything!'' I gave you my soul! Everybody else here, they're just... They're just scared of you. Or they want something from you, but I have always loved you for you. Just the strongest, smartest, best man on Earth.
:'''Homelander''': ''[scoffs]'' Man?
:'''Firecracker''': No, no, no, no, no. A god. No. No, ''the'' God. My Lord, that look you used to get when you'd suckle me? I felt like Mother Mary herself. I felt blessed to nourish someone as important as you. ''[pause; Homelander sighs]'' But nothing I ever did was good enough, was it? You cast me out into the cold, which was so much worse than never feeling your warmth in the first place. So all I have been tryin' to do is to get you to see me the way that you used to. Hell, only reason I was with Soldier Boy was that your reflected light is better than no light at all. Please, sir. I love you. We all need love, don't we? Even God.
:''[Homelander reaches his hand out to touch Firecracker's cheek, then kills her by impaling her head on the left wing of an eagle statue]''

===''&quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;'' [5.06]===
:''[Hughie and Annie are laying down on the hood of his car looking at clouds together]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so that one?
:'''Annie''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Hughie''': It’s like a rabbit, but it’s got way too many feet.
:'''Annie''': Really? I see a frog eating a dick. This is definitely in my top five.
:'''Hughie''': Top five what?
:'''Annie''': Things to do with you.
:'''Hughie''':  You’re saying that like… this is the last time we’re gonna get to do this. Hey, listen to me. The guys are gonna find Bombsight, they’ll get the V1. You’re not dying. We will have plenty of time to look for filthy shapes in the clouds.
:'''Annie''': God, I don’t know where it comes from. This… unshakeable hope.
:'''Hughie''': Whenever I’d get upset as a kid, which was a lot… my dad would always say, “You know, son, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react.” And that was infuriating. But then, I spent a year in an internment camp, and I had no control over anything. I’d just lay there at night, just… so fucking angry, hearing my dad’s voice in my head… but then I finally understood what he meant. ‘Cause the only thing I had left was… hope. And it is ''really'' fucking hard to hang on to, but I… I’m trying.
:'''Annie''': I think… you might be low-key the strongest person I know.
:'''Hughie''': I’d prefer high-key… ''[Annie chuckles]'' but thank you.
:'''Annie''': ''[beat; points at the sky]'' Look, it’s–it’s Big Bird eating a dick.
:'''Hughie''': You see an unsettling amount of dicks up there, I’m just saying.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy look around Bombsight's empty house to find the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': You sure this is the right address?
:'''Homelander''': I'm sure.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, there's no sign of Bombsight... or fucking anyone. Maybe Crime Analytics got a bad tip.
:''[Homelander sees a laptop on the table. When he opens it up, a video of him and Stormfront having sex starts playing. He notices Soldier Boy watching along with him and closes the laptop.]'' 
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck was that?
:'''Homelander''': I can explain.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That was Clara. You told me she killed herself.
:'''Homelander''': She did, after Ryan did ''that'' to her. It's his fault.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So then what? You locked her in your apartment like some kind of amputee fuck doll...
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ...and filmed her for kicks?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no! It wasn't like that! I did... I did everything I could to keep her alive, to–to make her happy. ''[pause; Soldier Boy punches him]'' Just listen to me, okay?! It wasn't all like... that. I couldn't let her go. I didn't know how... because I loved her. And so did you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're goddamn right I loved her.
:'''Homelander''': She wouldn't want us fighting over her.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Don't fucking tell me what she would want! You knew her for five minutes; I was with her for decades! 
:'''Homelander''': Hold–Hold on. This–This is a setup. Someone's trying to separate us. This has been plan... Fucking Sage. It's Sage. You see? She's trying to screw with us. ''[Soldier Boy turns around to leave]'' Oh, come on! I can't find the V1 without you!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; turns back around]'' Good. You don't deserve to live forever.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher tries to call Bombsight using one of his old phone numbers, but gets a fax machine instead]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': That a fuckin’ fax machine?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, it’s the last of the numbers she had for him. ''[to Golden Geisha]'' Oi. Twenty-three fuckin' numbers you had for Bombsight, and they’re all fuckin' shite?
:'''Golden Geisha''': Do you know how to delete them? I was telling you the truth. I have no idea where Bombsight is, or how to reach him. So just let me go.
:'''Butcher''': Kimiko, keep an eye on her.
:''[Frenchie joins Butcher and M.M. on their way back to their hideout]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck do we do now?
:'''Butcher''': Fetch us some pliers and put the screws to her. She knows more than she’s lettin’ on.
:'''Frenchie''': Or she doesn’t. I’m sorry, but she’s not that good of an actress.
:''[M.M. and Frenchie draw their weapons when they see Sister Sage inside]''
:'''Sister Sage''': He’s right. ''[sarcastically]'' Ooh, I know. The villain switching sides in the final hour. What a twist, a shock that never happens. But unclench those assholes, fellas. I’m here to help. I’m a free agent now. I came alone. You can shoot me in the heart whenever you like.
:'''Butcher''': That’s a good idea. ''[takes out and cocks his gun]''
:'''Sister Sage''': That would go against our mutual interest.
:'''Butcher''': Which is?
:'''Sister Sage''': Stopping a petulant, laser-eyed narcissist from also becoming immortal. I want him dead as much as you do.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You spent the last couple of years building Homelander up, and now you wanna tear him down? Why the fuck should we trust you?
:'''Sister Sage''': You can’t trust me. Honestly, you shouldn’t, but you will.
:'''Frenchie''': And why would we do that?
:'''Sister Sage''': I know Campbell and Starlight are headed to plant your little virus. You can trace anyone, if you know what to look for. And you baboons, you leave a trail of banana peels wherever you go. I could have stopped you, I could have killed you... but I didn’t.
:'''Butcher''': That virus is gonna wipe out the fuckin’ lot of ya. And you don’t strike me as the suicide type.
:'''Sister Sage''': I will be in my nice, quiet bunker, reading [[w:Ludwig Wittgenstein|Wittgenstein]] in peace. That is, unless that bleached blonde baby gets his hands on V1 and survives. You must have realized by now Granny out there has no clue how to contact Bombsight, but I do. And I can get him here. So... let me help.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': I wanted to say... I'm very sorry about this. I watched every episode of ''Undercover Geisha'' when I was a kid. I loved it, even the parts that were ridiculous racist stereotypes. It meant so much to see someone who looked like me on TV. ''[brief pause]'' We watched with Japanese subtitles. It's how I learned English.
:'''Golden Geisha''': If you're such a big fan, let me go.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Désolé'', but we cannot. Not until we get the V1 that Bombsight possesses.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Wait, that's what you're after? V1? ''[laughs]''
:'''Kimiko''': What–What's so funny?
:'''Golden Geisha''': I'll tell Bombsight to just give it to you. I sure as hell don't want it.
:'''Kimiko''': ...He stole the V1 for you, so you two could be together forever. ''[pause]'' But you didn't take it.
:'''Golden Geisha''': ''[shakes her head]'' I said no... which is why he left. I guess, for him, watching me get old was too painful.
:'''Frenchie''': I'm sorry, I do not understand. Why won't you take it?
:'''Golden Geisha''': To live forever? It'd be torture. ''[scoffs]'' You're both so young. You wouldn't understand.
:'''Kimiko''': Maybe I would.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Summer is only beautiful when you know winter is coming.
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Kimiko]'' Is this how you feel?
:'''Kimiko''': ''[nods]'' Annie and I talked about it. We'd have to... ''[signing]'' We'd have to watch you and Hughie waste away. Neither of us wants to die, but... we don't wanna be vampires either. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Legend leads Homelander inside the Boys' hideout, which is deserted]''
:'''The Legend''': Okay, um... 
:'''Homelander''': No one here.
:'''The Legend''': I grant you, it–it looks like that, yeah. But this–this is their hideout, so I'm sure there's plenty of clues all over here. ''[picks up a receipt]'' Here you go. ''[Homelander sighs]'' Oh, no. Well, this is nothing. But, you know, they have to have left something behind, you know?
:'''Homelander''': ''[looks at the receipt; chuckles]'' Hmmph. It's not nothing.
:'''The Legend''': It's a Taco Bell receipt. 
:'''Homelander''': No, ''this is Sage!'' Taunting me! 
:'''The Legend''': Okay.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs frustratingly; sits on bed]'' This makes no sense. This makes no sense. This makes no sense! ''[chuckles]'' You said I would get the V1. You said I'd be a god. Did I do something wrong? Did I fail you? I did everything you asked me to. I gave my boy up. Please, don't leave me here to just rot. Don't just let me become ''nothing'' like ''him.'' Please…
:'''The Legend''': I gotta assume… The only reason you're saying all this stuff is, you're... You're not gonna let me walk out of here alive, are you? Yeah? Okay. Yeah. ''[pause]'' Alright, look, kid. I've been around a long time and I… This is just how it goes. You know all those old Supes at the home? Every one of them had their moments in the sun and they all thought it was gonna go on forever. And every one of them got shoved out in the end. They all got shoved out. All of them. And I know what I'm talking about; I did the shoving. I mean, look at Goldie. One minute, she's on the set of ''Undercover Geisha'', getting finger-popped by Lorenzo Lamas. The next, she's shilling for VoughtAlert necklaces and Activia poop yogurt.
:'''Homelander''': Geisha sells VoughtAlert necklaces?
:'''The Legend''': Guess you don't watch your own news channel. The point is, look, there comes a day… I got shoved out, too. Never saw it coming. Did not see that coming, and I fought it like hell. But in the end... bupkis. There is a natural order to things. And the more you fight the inevitable, the more the inevitable just… cunt-punts you. ''[pats Homelander's shoulder]'' Yep.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; gets up]'' You're not scared of me.
:'''The Legend''': No, I'm not scared of you. I… I feel for you, kid. I do. I mean, you're a fucking whackjob. But, you know, there's talent. So… No surprise there. ''[pause]'' So, there you go. Do what you gotta do.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' ...You can go.
:'''The Legend''': I–I can go?
:'''Homelander''': Leave. No words. Just go. Now. Go. ''Now.''
:'''The Legend''': Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
:''[After The Legend leaves the Boys' hideout, Homelander makes a call on his cell phone]''
:'''Operator''': How can I help you, sir? 
:'''Homelander''': I need the tracking coordinates for a VoughtAlert necklace.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Tough skin or not, I can still break your fucking neck!
:'''Bombsight''': Ben, stop. Please.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; lets Bombsight go]'' Goddammit.
:'''Bombsight''': ''[beat]'' I can't give it to you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goldie doesn't even wanna take it.
:'''Bombsight''': Then maybe someday, I'll find someone who will!
:'''Soldier Boy''': You were always gonna fuck it up with Goldie anyway. You could never hold down a girl! It was either a smack needle up your dick or— 
:'''Bombsight''': Having to stand next to you? You were everyone's favorite from the start, especially Clara. Everything they wanted us to be, everything they were working towards, they saw it in you. I fucking hated you for it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No. No, I wasn't everything Clara wanted. I didn't know how to be.
:'''Bombsight''': But you loved her. What wouldn't you give to have her back... forever?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …I really fuckin' hate you.
:'''Bombsight''': No shit.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But we don't have to kill each other. I can take away your immortality... and your powers. You won't have to live forever alone. Then, you and Goldie can spend whatever time you have left like you want.
:'''Bombsight''': Why would you do that for me?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd do it for the V1.
:''[Bombsight hands a case to Soldier Boy, who opens it to find a V1 syringe inside. The Boys hear an explosion from far away and run towards it. Cut to Bombsight looking at the wound near his shoulder.]''
:'''Bombsight''': This is the first time I've seen my blood in... I can't remember.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander finds Soldier Boy with the V1 syringe he received from Bombsight. The Boys and Sister Sage watch them from the nearby woods.]''
:'''Homelander''': Don't. I don't wanna fight you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks down at the syringe]'' You know, Clara used to say the craziest shit. That I was the strongest Supe alive, the ultimate expression of what we could be... but she was wrong. ''[pause]'' She hadn't met you yet.
:''[Soldier Boy offers the syringe to Homelander, who accepts it]''
:'''Butcher''': No.
:'''Sister Sage''': I don't understand. He wasn't supposed to... It's impossible.
:'''Homelander''': But you hate me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I love her more... and this is what she would want.
:''[Homelander lasers his left arm and injects the V1 into his wound. His eyes immediately start flickering and he kneels to the ground in pain. The Boys watch in horror as Homelander screams and shoots powerful lasers into the sky.]''
:'''Butcher''': '''''Run.'''''

===''&quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;'' [5.07]===
:''[A V1-empowered Homelander sits in President Calhoun's chair in the Oval Office. He hears a knock at the door]''
:'''Homelander''': Come in! ''[in a cheerful tone, as Ashley and Calhoun enter]'' Hello, you two. Isn't it a beautiful day?
:'''Calhoun''': ''[nervously]'' You're welcome to use this office as long as you need. 
:'''Homelander''': I know. Let's get right to it! While Oh Father is hard at work on my divine unveiling, I have a few action items I need you to handle.
:'''Ashley''': Of course. Anything, sir.
:'''Homelander''': The Democratic Church of America is to be the ''official'' national religion, based around the one true god: Me. 
:'''Calhoun''': Great idea.
:'''Homelander''': I want every boundary between church and state dissolved. I want troops sent into every sanctuary city that took in Starlighters. Issue an executive order banning abortion. Also, breastfeeding is now mandatory. Babies need their mothers, not fake milk. Actually, outlaw that, too.
:'''Ashley''': Sir? 
:'''Homelander''': ''[intensely] Ban nut milk.'' The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was making you think nuts were milk. ''[snickers after a short silence]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': Those are all, uh, fantastic ideas, sir, um... I'll run them by Congress– 
:'''Homelander''': No, disband it.
:'''Calhoun''': Sorry? 
:'''Homelander''': Disband Congress. It's better for freedom. 
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, I don't really have that authority. 
:'''Homelander''': ''[frowns]'' Ashley, do me a favor. Read Steven's mind. I want to know if he's a true believer. 
:'''Calhoun''': But of... course I am, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific! Then you have nothing to worry about. ''[gets up and steps over to Ashley]'' Do it. 
:''[He rips off her wig, and she gasps and covers her face in shame as &quot;Back Ashley&quot; is revealed]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': ''[revolted]'' What the fuck is that? 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': Don't look!
:'''Homelander''': Don't make me ask again. 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': ''[stammering in fear]'' Sir, I–I... Sir, I...
:'''Ashley''': ''[sighs; steels herself and turns back to Homelander]'' He's terrified of you, sir. He thinks you're just a tiny bit psychotic.
:'''Homelander''': Steven! ''[steps towards Calhoun, glaring intensely]'' Here I am. A living god. ''[rests his hands on Calhoun's shoulders]'' Right before your eyes. And still, your faith wavers? ''[beat; Calhoun is clearly too terrified to answer]'' It's okay. No, I'm not angry. ''[clasps his head gently]'' But I ''am'' disappointed.
:''[He crushes Calhoun's head into a pulp, then wipes the blood off his hands on a sofa. An utterly terrified Ashley stares at Calhoun's body as Homelander sits back down at the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie sees Kimiko suffering from radiation exposure inside a homemade uranium chamber while Butcher and Frenchie watch]''
:'''Hughie''': What the fuck is going on in here?
:'''Kimiko''': I'm okay.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' The second she's ready, we go the next dose, alright?
:'''Hughie''': &quot;Next dose?&quot; Are you kidding?! Look at her! What are you doing?
:'''Butcher''': Plan fuckin' B, my son. If at first you don't succeed, find another hole to fuck. See, Soldier Boy's flashy tіt blast got me thinkin', he–he weren't born with that power. The Ivans gave it to him through a consistent application of scientific methodology.
:'''Frenchie''': They threw an atom bomb worth of radiation at him.
:'''Butcher''': Right. So, usin' the research we nicked from 'em a few donkeys back, me and Frenchie are doin' the same thing to Kimiko. She gets Soldier Boy's power, she tіt-blasts Homelander, bees and fuckin' honey.
:'''Hughie''': So when we kept asking what you two were up to, and you kept saying, &quot;Mind your fuckin' business, cunt,&quot; it was this?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah.
:'''Hughie''': Butcher, this is... the most insane-ass shit I ever heard. In a few weeks, you're gonna somehow do what it took the Russians over a decade?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, 'cause unlike the Ivans, we got us a livin', breathin' supercomputer bunked down in student services.
:'''Hughie''': Sage? All she does is self-medicate and binge [[w:Love Island (American TV series)|''Love Island'']]. This could fucking kill Kimiko. Frenchie…
:'''Frenchie''': No. It's not my wish.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck Butcher. Who cares what he wants?
:''[Kimiko coughs and stumbles out of the uranium chamber]'' 
:'''Kimiko''': Not Butcher. ''[panting heavily]'' Me. It's my call.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Annie''': Oh Father's up to something big at Vought Studios, but we don't know what. Could be a trap.
:'''Frenchie''': Could be.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' You stay here with Kimiko and Sage. We'll bust into the studio, nab the holy twat, stomp on his bollocks till he gives us Homelander's next move. And then I'll do the cunt and we'll call it an honest day's work, yeah?
:'''Hughie''': No. Quit acting like we're going on a milk run. It's over. ''[voice breaking]'' We lost.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' [[w:Victoria Beckham|Posh Spice]] was easily the most shit member of [[w:Spice Girls|the squad]]. Could barely sing or dance. No discernible talent whatsoever. Wasn't even featured on [[w:Wannabe|&quot;Wannabe&quot;]], but did that stop her? No. You look at her now... still married with [[w:David Beckham|Becks]]. Fifteen engagement rings, 32 ''Vogue'' covers, inducted by Prince William into the Order of the bloody British Empire. Even I doubted her move into women's apparel, but her line is a staple at Paris fuckin' Fashion Week. You see, despite her obvious disadvantages–includin' a tragic inability to smile–she never gave up, and we ain't givin' up either.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shakes his head]'' Your fuckin' pep talks.
:'''Frenchie''': Terrible.
:'''Annie''': The worst.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, bollocks. That was a fuckin' knockout.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Alone and depressed, The Deep tosses an aluminum can into the sea. A hammerhead shark appears and [[w:Samuel L. Jackson|speaks to him]]]''
:'''Xander''': Yo! You gonna get that, bro?
:'''The Deep''': Xander! ''[chuckles]'' Hey, what you doing here? So good to see you, man.
:'''Xander''': We wouldn't want a little guppy to get caught in that can, my man. Come on in, grab it. ''[swims in circles]''
:'''The Deep''': I've had such a fucked day, man. You wouldn't believe it, bro.
:'''Xander''': Yeah. Get in the water, man.
:'''The Deep''': No. You're not... You're not listening to me–
:'''Xander''': ''[angrily]'' Ah, shut the fuck up! We know you were responsible for the pipeline genocide. Remember March 15th, motherfucker!
:'''The Deep''': No... No, wait, that–That wasn't me, man!
:'''Xander''': If you step one foot, one fucking stupid-ass simian toe in the water ''ANYWHERE''—an ocean, a stream, a fucking puddle—on God, son, you're dead! We're gonna ''KILL YOU!'' You understand, you dumb motherfucker?! Water is fucking off limits to you! ''YOU ARE '''DEAD''' TO US! [swimming away]'' Bitch-ass!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy sees Homelander standing over a scale model of a Homelander-themed amusement park]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': The fuck is all this?
:'''Homelander''': Hey. HomeLand. Next phase of the reboot. Showing the faithful my boundless love for them. ''[points at a monument of himself]'' That there? The Homelander Mount. We're saying that this is where the angel visited me, and I ascended to godhood.
:'''Soldier Boy''': …Right.
:'''Homelander''': You're gonna love this. ''[waves his hand over a rollercoaster]'' This area here? We're calling it: &quot;Soldier Boy! Father of God!&quot; All the fastest rides are gonna be there, and every night, there's gonna be a ticker tape parade, honoring you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' I'm gonna head down to Bogotá. Figure I'll snort and fuck my way through the banana republics.
:'''Homelander''': Uh... When are you coming back?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Probably not for… ever.
:'''Homelander''': What? Look, if you don't like the park, I mean, forget it. I don't–I don't care about any of it. You want hοοker and blow? I'll get you all the drugs and all the wrinkly old whοres in America.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No, you're not hearing me.
:'''Homelander''': No, you're not hearing ''me.'' I am where I am because you chose me. To help me. So, I want you to have whatever you want.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What I want is to get away.
:'''Homelander''': From what? ''[scoffs]'' Or from who?
:'''Soldier Boy''': This just ain't my bag, kid.
:'''Homelander''': I welded your shield back together, you never use it. I hired you a three-star Michelin chef, all you ever order is meatloaf and chili. I even had L.J. mock up a new super suit for you. 
:''[Homelander pulls out a poster of Soldier Boy wearing an American flag-patterned suit]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, God. See, that's what I'm talking about.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, God? What?!
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't want that. And another thing: I gave you the V1 because of Clara. Because that's what she would've wanted. This was never gonna be a &quot;playing catch on the front lawn&quot;, &quot;fixing up the old Impala&quot; bullshit. You're too weird.
:'''Homelander''': Stop fucking saying that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': And you're no god. No angel came to you. You had a wet dream about some chick with big, juicy tіts. If that makes you a god, then I'm a fucking god every night.
:'''Homelander''': '''I ''AM'' GOD!'''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' Would it help if I said, &quot;It's not you, it's me&quot;?
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs softly]'' If you wanna go, go.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sighs; pats Homelander on the back]'' Good luck, son.
:''[Homelander suddenly grabs Soldier Boy from behind and puts him in a chokehold until he passes out]''
:'''Homelander''': I love you.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mother's Milk''': Help me out here. In the movie, was Homelander God, the [[w:Second Coming|Second Coming]], or Jesus' brother? 'Cause the world-building in there was fuckеd.
:'''Annie''': Does it even matter? I mean, they will believe whatever he tells them. What is the fucking point of saving people if they don't wanna be saved? This is what they want.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[beat]'' Alright. So, back when my Gramps got killed by Soldier Boy, shit got rough. Neighborhood kids laughed, called me soft, shit like that. And then one day, I find this pigeon on the sidewalk, wing busted. He was in bad shape. So, I run inside, grab a shoebox and a first aid kit, and come to start nursin' it. I figure, if I can save just this one life, maybe it might somehow make up for... Anyway, those same fuckin' kids, they found out. And so now, it don't take a genius to go from Marvin Milk to Mother's Milk. &quot;Yo, Mother's Milk, you letting that sky rat suck on your tіttіеs or that dіck?&quot; They were relentless. Right up until the day when that little bird flew outta my house and right over their heads, good as new. And you know what, Annie? Here's the crazy thing: I loved my new name. 'Cause I loved helpin' people. I loved being kind, makin' my family proud. That name was a badge of honor for me. Now, last year, locked up in that detention center, something changed. My heart, it just got scarred over. Like the world had just broken it one too many times. And yeah, it got easier, just being cynical. Checking out. But I also hated myself a lot more. I went from being a mοthеrfuckеr with a heart to just being a mοthеrfuckеr. But you know what? Givin' a shit in a world where nobody gives a shit? It ain't soft. It's hard as hell… and that's the real me. ''[pause]'' And that's the real you, too.

===''&quot;Blood and Bone&quot;'' [5.08]===
:'''Homelander''': It's alright. I'm not here to hurt you.
:'''Ryan''': You mean like last time?
:'''Homelander''': Look at you. No harm done.
:'''Ryan''': How'd you find me?
:'''Homelander''': Crime Analytics caught wind of a young man flying outside Kolvereid. Tends to draw attention.
:'''Ryan''': I don't want your help.
:'''Homelander''': I know. You've made that very clear. But you're also the son of God, and you should not be sleeping in a barn. You can have a whole floor of the Tower. Do what you want with it, come and go as you please.
:'''Ryan''': I don't wanna be anywhere near you.
:'''Homelander''': Everything is different now. I've ascended. I'm immortal.
:'''Ryan''': Then, why do you give a shit about what happens to me?
:'''Homelander''': Because we're family. ''[Ryan scoffs]'' We have the same blood pumping through our veins.
:'''Ryan''': Yeah, well, you've got your shitty racist dad. So you don't need me.
:'''Homelander''': No, Soldier Boy doesn't matter. You and I, that's all that matters. I know you, because I ''am'' you. And you're me.
:'''Ryan''': Dad… Get fuckеd. I am nothing like you. You were already the most powerful person on Earth. And you were a lonely, miserable piece of fucking shit, throwing tantrums when you didn't get what you want. Why the fuck would more power make you any better? It's just going to make you an even more lonely, miserable piece of shit. Scaring people into calling you God doesn't make you God. And deep down, you know that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; tearfully sighs]'' It's okay. You don't know what's going on. It's okay… but you will.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[After M.M. kills Oh Father by blocking his mouth with a metal mouth gag, causing his head to explode and spill blood all around]''
:'''Hughie''': I really need a new job.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''The Deep''': It was all a test. Yes! The universe is rewarding me for my loyalty, just like [[w:Sean Connery|Sean Connery]] rewarded [[w:Kevin Costner|Costner]] at the end of ''[[w:Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves|Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves]]''!
:'''Hughie''': Sweet ''Jesus'', you're a moron.
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander gives his Easter address from the Oval Office and begins reading from a teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': My fellow Americans... Happy Easter. A day commemorating Jesus, who, as we all know, was tortured, stripped of his dignity and killed. And that's all well and good. But you're Americans. You deserve a God who doesn't die. A God who fights back. A God you can believe in. Well, today, I bring you good news. Recently, I was visited by an exquisite angel bearing the gift of revelation. As I bathed in her light, her heavenly lips spilled sweet truth into my ear, and I was awakened to my true purpose. Not just to be the world's greatest hero but to save all humanity. To be... the Second Coming. But in a way, really, I'm the First Coming. America... I am the Lord. Your savior. I am your God. And as such, I'm going to usher this world into a new, golden dawn. An age in which your God moves among you, seen and heard. Your prayers are truly answered when you visit homelander.church. And all I ask for in return… I simply ask that you open your hearts and put your faith in me. Those who accept my truth will be welcomed into a land of milk and honey. For I am your Fa…
:''[Homelander stares blankly at the teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': I am… ''[beat]'' But no matter what I do, some of you people will never accept me into your hearts. Never love me. Never believe in me. And to such heretics, I offer oblivion. And those who seek to destroy me, you will die the most horrible of deaths, as befits your wickedness. My reign will last forever, and when this world is cold and dead, I shall remain... eternal. God of the ashes.
:''[Butcher and Kimiko suddenly break into the Oval Office]''
:'''Butcher''': Evening, cunts. Daddy's home. 
:'''Homelander''': William. ''[pause]'' I was starting to think you weren't going to hold up your end of our deal.
:'''Butcher''': Scorched earth?
:'''Homelander''': A shame about the French one. How's your little science experiment going without him?
:'''Butcher''': Let's find out.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander is now at Butcher's mercy after losing his powers]''
:'''Butcher''': Shock and awe, my son. Blood and fuckin' bone.
:''[Homelander charges toward Butcher, who grabs Homelander's fist with his left hand and punches him three times with the other. Butcher grabs Homelander again and prepares to land another punch.]''
:'''Butcher''': This... is for Frenchie.
:''[Butcher punches Homelander in the face repeatedly, knocking him down to the floor and leaving him cowering in fear]''
:'''Homelander''': Stop! You owe me. All the times I could've killed you and I didn't, I let you live. I'll–I'll give you Vought. ''[Butcher picks up his crowbar]'' I'll give you Vought, alright? You can do whatever you want with it, okay? I'll–I'll... Becca. You want your wife back? I'll have a shape-shifter be her. ''[whimpers]'' Just tell me! I'll fucking suck your dіck! Please! I'll do anything! You want me to eat shit? I'll eat your fucking shit! I'll eat your fucking shit on live TV! ''[pause; Butcher knocks him down against the desk]'' Madelyn, you promised me. It's not real. ''[to Butcher]'' You can't fucking do this. ''You can't fucking do this! '''I am the Homelander!'''''
:'''Butcher''': No. Nah, you ain't nothing. And this... This is for my Becca.
:'''Homelander''': No, no...
:''[Butcher stabs Homelander in the head with the straight end of the crowbar. He lifts it up, breaking Homelander's skull open and spilling his brains all over the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie confronts Butcher at Vought Tower to stop him from releasing the Supe virus. Butcher is looking out the window when Hughie enters the main conference room.]''
:'''Butcher''': Traffic?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. Accident on the bridge. Should have taken the tunnel.
:'''Butcher''': ''[turns around]'' I thought you might try to stop me. But you shouldn't have come alone. You should've brought a fuckin' army.
:'''Hughie''': No. If you were gonna release the virus, you would've done it already.
:'''Butcher''': Unless... I'm waitin' for all the Supe cunts to clock in for the day shift. Not much point shootin' spunk into an empty fuckin' building, now is there?
:'''Hughie''': Okay, well, now I kinda wish I brought an army. Where's the virus, Butcher?
:'''Butcher''': I dumped it in the sprinkler tank. Frenchie's idea, God rest the mad bastard. ''[picks up remote controller]'' All I gotta do is pull this trigger, and it rains kill juice on all 99 floors. Shit will be worldwide within a couple of days.
:'''Hughie''': Why? I mean, we already won.
:'''Butcher''': Won? No, we just gave 'em a black eye. As long as there's Vought, there'll be Supes. And sooner or later, some cunt that's already out there becomes the next Homelander, and you fuckin' know it. No. We need to end the whole bloody notion of Supes, and we need to make it permanent. I mean, you can see it, right? This is it. This is the moment.
:'''Hughie''': You dragged me through fucking hell... for this. For now. To be your... canary. Or your Kessler. Or Lenny. But here's the thing: You don't need me for that. You never did. It's already in you. I can see it. You might have a broken fucking heart, but you have one. You are not a monster, Butcher. It just hurts to be human.
:'''Butcher''': I'm sorry, mate. Superheroes... are done.
:'''Hughie''': ''[pulls out gun]'' I can't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Petit Hughie and his gun. Takes some big bollocks to pull the trigger on a mate.
:'''Hughie''': ''[aims the gun at Butcher]'' I will if I have to.
:'''Butcher''': ''[chuckles]'' Nah. You ain't got the…
:''[Butcher takes the gun from Hughie, punches him and throws him across the room]''
:'''Butcher''': Stay down.
:''[Butcher sees Hughie staring at the remote and rushes to take it before Hughie does. Hughie quickly gets up and trades more blows with Butcher, spitting blood onto the floor after getting punched hard in the gut. Eventually, Butcher gains the upper hand and picks up the remote while Hughie lies helpless on the floor. Before he can pull the remote trigger, he has a hallucination of Lenny lying in Hughie's place. He gets shot in the abdomen by Hughie as he moves his finger away from the trigger. Realizing what he did, Hughie rushes to Butcher's side.]''
:'''Hughie''': I'm sorry. Um... I didn't wanna–I didn't wanna do that. Um... I'm–I'm gonna call an ambulance, okay?
:'''Butcher''': I wouldn't bother. It's alright, Hughie. I gave you no choice. I... I wasn't gonna stop. All the blood... and shite I put you through... and none of it made a blind bit of difference. You–You stayed yourself... no matter what I done. ''[coughs]''
:'''Hughie''': Hey.
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know what to do.
:'''Hughie''': You don't need to do anything.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat; Hughie holds his hand]'' You really are... the spittin' of Lenny.
:''[Butcher slowly loses his grip on Hughie as he dies]'' 
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': ''[last lines; to his and Annie's unborn daughter]'' Take care of your mom, Robin.
==Externak links==
[[Category:The Boys (TV series) seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>ceajnt6qlw6zog6zy44iig312w0ijxw</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943868</id>
      <parentid>3943853</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:12:18Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Externak links */</comment>
      <origin>3943868</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="89878" sha1="mr9d9mjgugvvf6ze9mchnojvnwfwq3g" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Season''' [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 1|1]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 2|2]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 3|3]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 4|4]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 5|5]]  [[The Boys (TV series)|Main]]
----
'''''[[w:The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]''''' is an American superhero television series developed by Eric Kripke for [[w:Amazon Prime Video|Amazon Prime Video]]. Based on the comic book of the same name by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson, it follows the eponymous team of vigilantes as they combat superpowered individuals who abuse their abilities.

===''&quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;'' [5.01]===
:''[Homelander meets with Sister Sage after the Flight 37 video gets leaked to the public by Annie]''
:'''Sister Sage''': We knew this would happen sooner or later. We've been ready. In the last 24 hours, we have flooded the zone with so much disinformation, people can't tell their clit from their collarbone. The share price is only down half a point. Besides that, damage is minimal.
:'''Homelander''': ''[points at open book]'' What's this?
:'''Sister Sage''': That is a Gutenberg Bible. Martin Shkreli sold it to me at discount.
:'''Homelander''': You're really on top of the world, huh? Peter Thiel, the Obamas calling you for advice. Everyone loves you. 
:'''Sister Sage''': You can't really think I care.
:'''Homelander''': Maybe you didn't used to.
:'''Sister Sage''': It's all for you. The higher the share price, the happier the billionaires. The more you get to do whatever the fuck you wanna do.
:'''Homelander''': Are you aware that NNC is calling me a murderer? Saying that maybe I even did something to my son?
:'''Sister Sage''': No. Everyone knows that Ryan is... ''[sighs]'' Sorry. That he is at boarding school. In Svalbard. ''[chuckling]'' That story's holding. We're good.
:'''Homelander''': And how–how about you, Sage? Are you… good?
:'''Sister Sage''': I'm fine.
:'''Homelander''': You're not distracted at all? After Thomas Godolkin dumped you? You're not numbing the heartache by stabbing your brain?
:'''Sister Sage''': No.
:'''Homelander''': Then, just tell me. How did Starlight get in the building? ''[beat; exhales]'' I WAS '''HUMILIATED!''' As if people don't hate me enough!
:'''Sister Sage''': Your numbers are north of 96.
:'''Homelander''': Anyone can smile for the pollsters, sure, but millions of them are still Starlighters in their hearts! Where it counts! Have you seen the memes? Have you seen the ''memes'' about me?! ''[brief pause]'' Posting them should be a crime.
:'''Sister Sage''': Yes, but we can't go... ''[notices Homelander glaring at her]'' Oh, you're serious. Uh, sir... ''[chuckles]'' Ongoing conflict is useful to us. It keeps people afraid…
:'''Homelander''': Shut up.
:'''Sister Sage''': …which is exactly what we–
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no, no! NO! You promised me Caesar.
:'''Sister Sage''': He was stabbed by his best friends.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, well, I can relate to that! But I need people to be ''devoted!'' To '''''me!'''''
:'''Sister Sage''': May I speak freely?
:'''Homelander''': Give it a shot.
:'''Sister Sage''': I told you, no matter how much power you amass, it will not make you happy.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You know what's gonna make me happy? I think I'll be happy when Starlight and William Butcher are corpses. I want it leaked that in three days, we are going to execute Hugh Campbell, Milk, and the... French one. That'll draw out Starlight and Butcher, and then I will take care of this once and for all.
:'''Sister Sage''': Consider it done, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, wow. Your skin is so oily, like hugging a McRib.
:'''Annie''': Wait, did you—Did you just... How?!
:'''Kimiko''': Speech therapy and fucking therapy therapy and so much fucking TikTok.
:'''Annie''': Well, you sure sound like you're on TikTok.
:'''Butcher''': Sixteen-hour flight and not a fucking peep.
:'''Kimiko''': 'Cause all you can say is &quot;Oi, oi, oi. Cunt, cunt, cunt&quot;.
:'''Butcher''': I liked her better with her mouth shut.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Annie''': Took you long enough. Slowing down in your old age?
:'''A-Train''': ''[laughs and hugs Annie]'' Fuck you, [[w:Killing of JonBenét Ramsey|JonBenét]].
:'''Kimiko''': You guys are friends?
:'''A-Train''': You talk?
:'''Kimiko''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Annie''': Reggie's been helping us out for a while.
:'''A-Train''': ''[takes drink from Annie]'' Thanks. Where is everybody? ''[pause]'' I heard about the Pittsburgh raid last month. Go Marie Moreau. How's her team doing?
:'''Annie''': Yeah, they're scoring a few wins, but not nearly enough.
:'''A-Train''': So, what's with the 911?
:'''Annie''': Hughie, M.M. and Frenchie are gonna be executed tomorrow, so we need your help to break them out.
:'''A-Train''': Of a Vought prison camp? You're fucking crazy.
:'''Annie''': Listen, you don't have to fight, okay? We just need you to run them to the extraction point. It's easy.
:'''A-Train''': Easy. Right. You know Homelander's gonna be waiting. I can't.
:'''Annie''': We know how to kill him, okay? But we need Frenchie to do it.
:'''A-Train''': Great. Well, good luck with that.
:'''Annie''': Hey, are you gonna keep running forever? I mean, if we're gonna really take him out, we need your help.
:'''A-Train''': So what, I'm just supposed to join this little fucking supergroup?
:'''Annie''': I mean, we are down one asshоlе, so… Yeah, maybe.
:'''A-Train''': ''[pause]'' No.
:'''Annie''': Why not?
:'''A-Train''': I said I can't.
:'''Annie''': I know you're scared…
:'''A-Train''': No, I'm not fucking scared! I got a family to protect. ''[Annie sighs]'' I can't.
:'''Annie''': I get it, I do. Me, too. ''[pause]'' Keep them safe.
:''[Annie and Kimiko watch A-Train run off]''
:'''Kimiko''': We shouldn't have let him go.
:'''Annie''': No. Homelander fuckеd him up. Fuckеd me up, too. We're gonna need an Exit Plan B.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk go over their escape plan]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so we hit the east gate.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Oui'', Petit Hughie, when the guards change shift.
:'''Hughie''': And we go at dawn.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We've been through this.
:'''Hughie''': I know. I just wanna go over it a few more times just so I can get it in my head.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hughie… ''[holds out moonshine jar]'' Take a fuckin' drink, will you?
:'''Hughie''': No, thanks.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shrugs; to Frenchie]'' ''Mon ami?''
:'''Frenchie''': You know I quit.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Leave it up to you to have your shit the tightest you've ever had it in a fuckin' internment camp.
:'''Frenchie''': Yeah, what about you? Have you been eating the fresh produce I smuggle in?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Moonshine's got corn in it. ''[takes a sip of moonshine]''
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Hughie]'' Hey… Don't worry. Annie will be fine. She's strong.
:'''Hughie''': ''[takes liquor bottle from Frenchie]'' Kimiko, too. 
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Y'all mοthеrfuckеrs are trippin'. Y'all don't know what the fuck's going on with them. ''[to Frenchie]'' Hey, you don't even know where Kimiko's at.
:'''Hughie''': What, so you don't think you're gonna see Janine and Monique again? Is that it?
:'''Mother's Milk''': What I know is that they're a shit ton safer without me making a mess out of their lives.
:'''Hughie''': M.M., you're the strongest guy I know. We've been in tougher spots than this.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, I did two tours in the 3/8 in Farah Province. The shit I saw would ''fuck you up''. And even that was ''Emily in Paris'' compared to the shit that we looking at here. And even if we make it outta here, we ain't surviving this fuckin' war. We are dead men walking. Chin-chin, mοthеrfuckеrs.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie is shocked to see all of his prison bunkmates brutally murdered in their bunker. He sees Homelander sitting on his bed reading from his journal.]''
:'''Homelander''': &quot;Well, Annie, today marks two months. It's a little insane how much I miss you. I've been having trouble eating. Every day, I see people giving up, but not me. Because I have you.&quot; It's very, very sweet.
:'''Hughie''': They were innocent.
:'''Homelander''': Oh… ''[looks briefly at one of the corpses]'' Well, I'd hardly call them innocent. They lied to me. Played dumb about your little stash in the wall there. We've known about that for quite some time, but I just wanted to give you a little hope.
:'''Hughie''': You're not the one who gave it to me, asshоlе.
:'''Homelander''': Ooh, I like Internment Camp Hughie. She's zesty.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck you. Do it.
:'''Homelander''': What?
:'''Hughie''': Kill me.
:'''Homelander''': Not until we flush out Butcher and Starlight.
:'''Hughie''': You think they're dumb enough to just walk right into your trap?
:'''Homelander''': Let's not insult each other. We both know they're coming. ''[throws the journal at Hughie's feet]'' Do you remember when we first met?
:'''Hughie''': How could I forget? 
:'''Homelander''': Believe Festival. I tried to cleanse your soul. I remember thinking... ''[sighs]'' &quot;Why him?&quot; What does Starlight see in this gangly simp that reeks of fear and Strawberry Smoothie kids' shampoo? You know, William and Victoria Neuman love you, too. I mean, I get it from your perspective. You're punching up. Good for you. But why are they so hopelessly devoted to such staggering mediocrity? Why would Starlight and Butcher piss away their lives to try and rescue you?
:'''Hughie''': Because I'd do it for them.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher and Kimiko find Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk tied up and gagged by Homelander when they break into the Vought internment camp]''
:'''Hughie''': Butcher?! Oh, fuck.
:'''Homelander''': ''[waves]'' Surprise. Welcome, William. ''[to Kimiko]'' And you. The gang is almost all here. Oh, and uh, ''[looks down at Mother's Milk]'' you never told me that this one's nickname is... Mother's Milk. ''[licks his lips; laughs]'' Okay. So, what's the big plan? What, are you gonna sandbag me with the Godolkin virus? ''[Butcher looks shocked]'' Yes. I know all about it.
:'''Kimiko''': Suck my fat dіck!
:''[Homelander lasers Kimiko in half. The top half of her body falls to the floor.]''
:'''Homelander''': Hey, where's Starlight? Just doesn't feel like a party without my little lightning bug here... ''[pause; stares at Butcher]'' Jesus Christ, William. You've got a viper's nest in there. I'd heard about it, of course. But seeing it for myself, it's uh… it–it's incredible. I mean, it's fucking disgusting of course, but it's–it's beautiful. What you've done to yourself, what you've become… and you did all that for me? ''[pause]'' Now that… ''that'' is devotion. You know, William, I know we're not exactly equals, but I'm compelled to say… you are the only one that's ever challenged me. And there's a part of me that will be sad to see you go.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A-Train gets badly injured while being chased by Homelander, who eventually catches up to him]''
:'''Homelander''': Looks like someone ''can'' catch the A-Train after all. End of the road, buddy boy.
:''[A-Train starts laughing at Homelander as he gets back up]''
:'''Homelander''': What's so funny?
:'''A-Train''': What was I so afraid of? You are… fucking nothing.
:'''Homelander''': Really?
:''[Homelander lifts A-Train and pins him against a tree]''
:'''A-Train''': ''[grunts]'' Really. You're just an empty fucking suit. Take away these powers… and what are you, huh? A pathetic… weak… sniveling fucking loser.
:''[Homelander wraps his hand around A-Train's neck and slowly chokes him. A-Train continues laughing until Homelander snaps his neck, killing him instantly.]''

===''&quot;Teenage Kix&quot;'' [5.02]===
:'''Oh Father''': We fight hellfire with holy fire! We fight with the ballot box! We fight with the ammo box! Matthew 10:34 — &quot;I do not come to bring the peace, but a sword&quot;! You are not here to be blessed, you are here to do war!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Goddammit, A-Train. It didn't need to come to this. I don't know, you left me no choice! I know that my leadership style can be stern, but it was for your own good! I like to think of myself as the big brother that you never had. You remember that girlfriend you had? Uh... Pop... Popfang. Betrayed us both, to William Butcher, no less. Huge mess, your fault. What did I do? ''What did I do?'' I gave you a chance to make things right, I reached out my hand... and you bit it! What did I ever do to deserve that? What, was I too nurturing? Too forgiving? Well, maybe. But dammit, you weren't like the others: Snakes, backstabbers. I could count on you, man. I ''did'' count on you. I loved you... but here we are. Why does this keep happening to me? I guess the strongest men are the most alone. You wouldn't understand. Nobody does.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander releases Soldier Boy from his cryogenic chamber at Vought Tower. Soldier Boy wakes up the next morning in Homelander's bedroom.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no. It's okay. It's okay, I don't wanna hurt you. You're safe, okay? You've been in deep freeze again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, Jesus Christ. For how long?
:'''Homelander''': Almost two years in a CIA black site. I just found out this morning.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You found out this morning?
:'''Homelander''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But that just happens to be in your room? ''[pause]'' Did you fuck me?
:'''Homelander''': ''[legitimately confused]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this some kind of incest thing?
:'''Homelander''': No!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Then, what the fuck is this?
:'''Homelander''': ''[stammers]'' Look, I... I want you to find William Butcher.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Find him yourself.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the people that work for me are limited. And you are the best tracker there is. I just–I need you to find him and report back. Very simple.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You want me… to work for you?
:'''Homelander''': Well, why don't we say &quot;work ''with'' me&quot;? And... I can help you. I can give you a proper comeback.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need you for that.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the whole world does think that you're a Russian spy, so…
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[takes a deep breath]'' Okay. Alright, listen to me. I'm no ass-felching Commie. You got that?!
:'''Homelander''': I know, I know. And listen, I am Vought now. Me. So, the public, they're gonna believe that you are whatever I tell them you are. I can resurrect you. I can give you back what you lost. I can even make you number two in The Seven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Number two? ''[Homelander nods]'' Or how about I finish the job, and blast you to Kingdom Fuck.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, you could try. Who knows, you might even fry the V right out of my blood. Or you might not. But I'm betting that you hate William Butcher more than you hate... me. After all, I'm–I'm not the one that betrayed you, am I?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I tried to kill you. The minute I turn my back, how do I know you won't return the favor?
:'''Homelander''': Look... 
:''[Homelander picks up Soldier Boy's shield and gives it to him]''
:'''Homelander''': You find William Butcher for me… all is forgiven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat; looks at the shield]'' Looks like a fuckin' kindergarten ashtray. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Soldier Boy, ''[points at Calhoun and Ashley]'' this is the President, Vice President of the United States of America. They work for me. Everyone, Soldier Boy is gonna be number two in The Seven once he has located William Butcher and Annie January.
:'''The Deep''': What? Wait–Wait, what, sir? No, sir. I... I can do this. I can bring them in.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, like you did with A-Train? We're going in a new direction, Deep. Competence. ''[to Calhoun]'' Oh, and Steve, Soldier Boy's gonna need a full pardon.
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, he–he was guilty of... you know, treason. ''[pause; Homelander just stares at him]'' Consider it done, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific. And you know what? I'm sure the man's dying for a drink. Uh, Steve, can you make him a…
:'''Soldier Boy''': Manhattan.
:'''Homelander''': Manhattan. Thanks, Steve.
:'''Calhoun''': Of course. Can I get you a glass of milk, sir?
:'''Homelander''': ''[sternly]'' No. Steven… I'll also have a Manhattan.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goddamn. Since when could Supes teabag the President?
:'''Homelander''': Since me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Hughie looking despondent on their way back to the Teenage Kix mansion]''
:'''Butcher''': Oi, fuckin' smile, Hughie. I mean, ain't you a little glad A-Train's dead?
:'''Hughie''': …No, I'm not glad he's dead. A-Train did a lot of horrible things, but he saved our lives, and he died a hero. A real hero. There are a lot of other Supes that don't deserve to die either.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, I know you just done a year in the gulag. You've earned your seat at the table, so... I'll give it to ya straight. You gotta knock this wet, gaping pussy shite on the head, mate. Ain't doin' no one no favours. Especially your girl. I mean, that's why she's givin' you the cold shoulder.
:'''Hughie''': Don't talk to me about Annie. You don't know what's going on with her.
:'''Butcher''': Well, I know that she finally knows the fuckin' score. And she knows that you poncin' about with this Jiminy Cricket, &quot;listen to your heart&quot; bollocks is just gonna get her killed.
:'''Hughie''': Is there any part of you left that's still human? ''[pause]'' You're gonna get Annie killed, not me… but I won't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Noted.
:''[A shield suddenly pierces the windshield of the Boys' truck. Hughie catches the virus vial right as they crash into another vehicle.]''
:'''Hughie''': Fuck!
:'''Kimiko''': Hughie, the vial!
:'''Hughie''': It's good. ''[stares at the shield]'' Wait, is that...?
:''[They see Soldier Boy walking up the street towards them]''
:'''Butcher''': Well, well, well.
:'''Kimiko''': He's dead, right? He's supposed to be dead?
:'''Butcher''': Supposed to be. Mallory put him in ice for a bit.
:'''Hughie''': ''[slowly turns to face Butcher]'' You're telling us this ''now?''
:'''Butcher''': Somebody up there likes us, mate.
:'''Hughie''': In what fucking way?!
:'''Butcher''': Well, we wanted a guinea pig. Who better than Homelander's old man? New plan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Butcher''': Oi. Ain't you supposed to be a giant ice dіldо?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Aren't you supposed to be smart? Renting a truck under the name &quot;Don T. Beakunt.&quot; Same alias when we headed to Herogasm.
:'''Butcher''': Well, oldie, but a goodie.
:''[Soldier Boy sees Hughie and Kimiko get out of the truck and run away]'' 
:'''Butcher''': No, mate. Just you and me.
:''[Soldier Boy shoots Butcher three times, but to no avail. Butcher, still standing, looks down at his chest then looks back up at Soldier Boy.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess it's true. You're one of us now.
:'''Butcher''': Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Then fuckin' beat 'em.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Being super is not gonna save you.
:'''Butcher''': That don't stop us helpin' each other. Homelander's double the cunt now, if that's even possible. He needs doin' more than ever. You still fancy his seat on The Seven, don't ya?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Fuck you! We had a deal! I held up my end of the bargain, and you sold me out. Put me back in a fucking box! And for what? 'Cause I was gonna kill some dumb kid?
:'''Butcher''': That kid is your grandson.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, was it worth it? You feeling good about that call right about now? Where is that fucking brat?
:'''Butcher''': Homelander's the one fuckin' you over, mate. Or did he mention that we've got an uber virus strong enough to kill every fuckin' Supe on the planet?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Bullshit.
:'''Butcher''': God's honest. The things this virus can do... ''Fuckin' diabolical.'' Why d'you think he sent you here instead of coming himself, hmm? You're the sacrificial cunt. Again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess we'll see.
:'''Butcher''': You don't get it, do ya? Me, Homelander, your old crew–Everyone fucks you over. Do you wanna know why? 'Cause you... are a dumb fuckin' twat.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hughie Campbell. How is a useless cock-gobbler like you still alive?
:'''Hughie''': All your jokes are about dudes blowing dudes. You're kind of obsessed!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this the virus he was going on about? The so-called &quot;Supe Killer&quot;? Well, not today, you semen-swilling butt pirate.
:'''Hughie''': What?

===''&quot;Every One of You Sons of Bitches&quot;'' [5.03]===
:''[Homelander has a psychotic breakdown and hallucinates Madelyn Stillwell appearing to him as an angel]''
:'''Homelander''': Madelyn...!
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, my boy! My sweet boy... What is wrong? Why are you unhappy?
:'''Homelander''': My father and my son! Everything, it's all falling apart!
:'''Madelyn''': No! No, it's exactly what needed to happen. Yes, it's been foretold! You're about to ascend. Become immortal. Divine. A true god with the love of the world.
:'''Homelander''': But–
:'''Madelyn''': I know, you think love is weak and human. But who is more loved than Jesus? And why should he have more love than you? You save more people than he does. The one, true god...
:'''Homelander''': Yes... But how? How? Millions of people just hate me...
:'''Madelyn''': Well, then you baptize the unfaithful in their own blood. Rip babies from their mothers' wombs.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': Skin parents in front of their children. Rid the world of the wicked.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': The nonbelievers...
:'''Homelander''': They'll call me a monster...
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, the only ones left will be your faithful. And they will love you in their hearts. They'll cry happy tears at the mere thought of you. You have one last task, my love.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Homelander?
:'''Homelander''': Up here.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What do you– ''[sees Homelander taking a bath]'' What in the fuck? Is that milk?
:'''Homelander''': Better. Breastmilk from the NICU at Mount Sinai.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So, what? You asked me up here so I could watch you swim in tit jizz?
:'''Homelander''': I wanna give you another chance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You wanna give ''me'' another chance?
:'''Homelander''': Yes. Help me find that V1.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd rather fist myself with a handful of razors. Besides, Cleopatra Jones said there's no V1 to find.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, there most certainly is. And I am going to find it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah? What makes you so sure?
:'''Homelander''': ''[smiling]'' An angel told me. It's my destiny.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Just when I thought there was a ceiling to how fuckin' weird you could get.
:'''Homelander''': Yes, yes. Make your jokes. You've been blessed with immortality, and what have you done with it? Drink and fuck yourself numb. You... You are a disappointment. You see... ''[stands up and gets out of the tub]'' I am not gonna waste my immortality. I am gonna take what's rightfully mine. I'm asking you if you want a seat at the table because you're my father. But with or without you... a reckoning is coming.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' You know, all I see is a freak. A freak with a bushel of gray pubes. Try some Just for Men.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher takes Ryan to a pub to discuss his plan to kill Homelander with the Supe virus]''
:'''Butcher''': All you do is get him on the blower and tell him you wanna see him. When he rocks up, you chuck the shit in his face... and that'll be it.
:'''Ryan''': Why me?
:'''Butcher''': 'Cause he won't leave the fortress of cuntitude for anyone else.
:'''Ryan''': So this is what you wanted to talk to me about. Killing my dad.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, mate–
:'''Ryan''': Is that all you think I'm good for?
:'''Butcher''': I ain't gonna treat you like a kid no more, alright? You're done with that. Homelander raped your mum. He's gonna burn everything down, and you are the only one who can stop him. Now... Normally, I don't put no stock in any of that bollocks about destiny, but if anyone's got one, it's you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause; sighs]'' I throw this virus at him... what'll happen to me?
:'''Butcher''': You'll die. I'll be close by and we'll go together. Now... I ain't gonna lie to you. This… this is not what your mum wanted… But it's the only way. And it will be justice.
:'''Ryan''': You're asking me to kill myself?
:'''Butcher''': You wouldn't be the first lad to throw his life away in a war... but you would be the first to save the world doin' it. ''[beat; sighs heavily]'' I'll fetch us a pint.
:''[Later, Butcher returns with a pint of beer]''
:'''Butcher''': Here. Told her you were 30. ''[Ryan chuckles]'' Fuck the leather, fuck the lace, here's to the bird who sits on yer face. ''[takes a long sip of beer]''
:'''Ryan''': Where'd you pick that up?
:'''Butcher''': Me old man.
:'''Ryan''': You two close?
:'''Butcher''': Nah, not really. He was a... a piss artist. Used to lose all his money on the gee-gees–horses–and then, he'd come home, beat the livin' daylights outta Len and me. And then later, laugh about it with his mates. Yeah, he was a right cunt.
:'''Ryan''': Where is he now?
:'''Butcher''': Bottom of the Thames. I put him there, just the other day. Only wish I'd done it sooner, before he caused more... more damage.
:'''Ryan''': Butcher... Do you think that I could ever... That I might turn into my dad?
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know.
:'''Ryan''': ''[sighs]'' My mom... Aunt Grace... the others... All I do is hurt people. I can't be around anyone.
:'''Butcher''': Without us–without Supes–the world is a better, safer place.
:'''Ryan''': ''[beat]'' I'll do it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Edgar ''': You're fighting an unbeatable foe. You know that, right?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Who? Vought?
:'''Edgar''': Please. It's more powerful than Vought. Or Homelander. More powerful than nature or life itself. It's profit and loss; supply and demand; the elegant flow of currency across the globe. We're just cogs in a great machine, and we all have our part to play. Say you kill Soldier Boy, or Homelander, or even release this virus. When superheroes go out of fashion, something else will just take their place. Because corporations must still grow. Money must still be made. The machine must still be fed. That is the way of the world.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Motherfucker. When this is all over... you're aiming to run Vought again, ain't you?
:'''Edgar''': Like I said. We all have our part to play.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[pause]'' If that day ever comes... I have a part to play, too. And that's to put a bullet in your fuckin' skull.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy and Firecracker are on her TruthBomb talkshow set preparing for their interview together]''
:'''Firecracker''': It's an honor to have a great American like yourself on the show. I guess it runs in the family, huh? Homelander's father… Dang.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks at the gun at Firecracker's hip]'' Glock, huh? Never saw the appeal in foreign-made guns.
:'''Firecracker''': Well, this ain't your granddaddy's Glock. This here's a 9mm Gen 5, seven-round capacity with a crisp fuckin' break.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, mine's a much longer barrel. ''[takes out his pistol]'' Battle-proven, all-American Colt 1911 chambered in .45 ACP. ''[cocks pistol]'' That'll blow your fuckin' panties off. Now, that little Glock–That's good for a late-night Harlem stroll, but uh, this here? That's a certified Kraut killer.
:'''Firecracker''': I think you mean an antique.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean a classic. You wanna give it a try? ''[Firecracker examines the pistol]'' Now, some can't handle the kick, but something tells me you'll do just fine.
:''[Cut to Soldier Boy and Firecracker in bed together after having sex]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Whew. Well, I gotta hand it to you. I haven't fuckеd that hard since... since I railed Shari Lewis on the balcony of Studio 54.
:'''Firecracker''': I ain't got no idea who that is.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well... Hey, why the hairless pussy?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[gives Soldier Boy a disgusted look]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean, what's the point of going down there if you're not gonna get a fat face full of fur? Is that how Homelander likes you? Like a baby?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' More like a mother.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But you two have fuckеd, right?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[shakes her head]'' Mm-mm.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Damn. I gotta admit, I was kinda just doing this as petty revenge against the freak.
:'''Firecracker''': That's terrible. Who would do such a thing? And you shouldn't say that about your son.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Ah, he thinks he's better than me.
:'''Firecracker''': He doesn't.
:'''Soldier Boy''': How do you know?
:'''Firecracker''': I don't know much, but I can read people. And the way he looks at you? Shoot. I ain't never seen him look at nobody like that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Uh, that's not exactly a compliment, doll. He is the strangest mοthеrfuckеr I've ever known, and I've had a threesome with Gary Busey.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ryan and Homelander meet up at the now-abandoned VoughtLand building]''
:'''Ryan''': Do you remember when you took me here? Pretended to care about me?
:'''Homelander''': I ''do'' care about you, son. I love you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause]'' I need to ask you–
:'''Homelander''': For my forgiveness? You already have it.
:'''Ryan''': What?
:'''Homelander''': Okay, let me finish. I put too much pressure on you to fill my boots. And–And I realize now that, uh... Well, that–that was impossible. But I do have some pretty exciting news. I am going to live forever now. I'll realize my own legacy. And you... ''[scoffs]'' you're off the hook. You can do whatever–
:'''Ryan''': Did you do it? Did you rapе my mom?
:'''Homelander''': What?! Of course not. Who told you–Did William Butcher tell you that? Your mother and I, we had an affair. A consensual affair between two adults.
:'''Ryan''': Your heart's racing.
:'''Homelander''': Well, yeah, because I'm shocked. And–And frankly, my heart's breaking a little bit that you could think I would do something like that.
:''[Ryan lasers Homelander, leaving a visible wound near his chest]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan... Ryan, stop!
:''[Ryan lunges at Homelander and shoves him against the wall. Homelander ducks below Ryan's fist to avoid getting punched by him.]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan! I don't know where this is coming from, because your mother… ''She'' came on to ''me.''
:''[Ryan punches Homelander twice and tries to laser him again. Homelander quickly dodges him again.]''
:'''Homelander''': ''Ryan!'' Son... ''[moves away to avoid another punch]'' Ryan! Ryan, buddy... Look what came out of it: My son! A blessing! ''[Ryan attacks him again]'' Hey, hey! Stop!
:''[Ryan readies another laser, which gets redirected when Homelander grabs his face. He punches Homelander in the face again, but Homelander gets the upper hand and slams Ryan several times into a box. Homelander wipes blood away from his nose as Ryan whimpers in pain.]''
:'''Homelander''': Oh, Ryan... Dammit. Look at what you made me do. ''[pause; kneels down to restrain Ryan]'' Shh... Shh, shh, shh. Hey... It's okay. My sweet, sweet boy.
:''[Homelander proceeds to punch Ryan repeatedly in the face until he is beaten nearly to death]''

===''&quot;King of Hell&quot;'' [5.04]===
:'''Homelander''': I need you for something.
:'''Firecracker''': You do?
:'''Homelander''': I have received the most wonderful message. I was visited... by an angel. And she foretold my destiny.
:'''Firecracker''': Wow. Well, praise be. And what is it?
:'''Homelander''': God.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, that is wonderful. There is no higher calling than servin' the Lord.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. Not serving the Lord. Being the Lord. I am the Messiah. I'm the savior of the world.
:'''Firecracker''': The... Messiah?
:'''Homelander''': Yes.
:''[Firecracker smiles despite her being clearly disturbed by Homelander's delusions]''
:'''Firecracker''': Um... Congrats.
:'''Homelander''': Thank you. ''[pause; Firecracker giggles nervously]'' I always knew I was special. I knew it. I suffered. I suffered so many hardships, and I... I couldn't understand why, but you... You... You always saw it, didn't you? You knew all along I was special. That is why I have chosen you to spread the word of my coming.
:'''Firecracker''': How?
:'''Homelander''': Well, we control the most powerful media apparatus on Earth. Jesus would kill for our marketing. What do you say?
:'''Firecracker''': ...Well, you know I would do anything for you, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys are hiking through the woods near Fort Harmony]''
:'''Kimiko''': It's weird. No birds or animals. It's like…
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. ''[to Mother's Milk]'' Had to park on the other side of the state, didn't ya?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Well, if the hike's too hard, why don't you try tying your boots, mοthеrfuckеr.
:''[Hughie is shocked to see a heavily decomposed corpse]''
:'''Hughie''': Oh, fuck that.
:'''Butcher''': Eh. Not really my type, son.
:'''Hughie''': Hey, how about showing a little respect?
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, Hughie's right, Butcher. You should take her out to dinner first. ''[chuckles; sighs]'' Let's see here. Based on the decomp, these bodies have been here for a while.
:'''Frenchie''': Something ripped them apart. Whatever killed those Boy Scouts might still stalk these woods.
:'''Butcher''': Let's get a move on, then. Didn't come out here to get bummed by Bigfoot.
:''[...]''
:'''Butcher''': Any sign of Super Cunt?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Could already be inside.
:'''Butcher''': Well, let's find out.
:'''Kimiko''': ''[to Hughie]'' What's wrong?
:'''Hughie''': Annie.
:'''Kimiko''': She'll come back.
:'''Hughie''': No. I almost died, but she made it all about her and she took off. I mean, last year, I got bad-touched by a shape-shifter, and she still found a way to make it about her. She can be such a fucking bitch. ''[pause; sees Kimiko looking at him in shock]'' Uh... Jesus. Sorry, I–I didn't mean for that to come out so harsh.
:''[The Boys see an entire field littered with animal carcasses]''
:'''Butcher''': ''Fuckin' hell.''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck happened here?
:'''Frenchie''': Our V'd-up beast enjoyed an amuse-bouche, perhaps?
:'''Butcher''': Well, explains why we didn't hear no animals.
:'''Kimiko''': I said that ten minutes ago.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys discover more decomposed corpses as they make their way downstairs to the lab inside Fort Harmony]''
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. They've been here a minute, haven't they?
:'''Frenchie''': Decades. Hunters... ''[pause; notices the knives embedded in the corpses]'' Look at their knives. These men, they killed each other. What if there is a monster here, but it's us?
:'''Butcher''': What the fuck are you on about, Frenchie?
:'''Frenchie''': [[w:Toxoplasma gondii|Toxoplasmosis]]. It's a parasite in cat shit. It can infect humans. Makes them react with explosive anger.
:'''Hughie''': You think we ate cat shit?
:'''Frenchie''': Ate? No... If the V1 spilled into the groundwater, it could mutate the plants. Their spores fill us with rage, we murder each other, and ''voilà''. We're plant food for these vines.
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so like [[w:The Last of Us (video game)|''The Last of Us'']]?
:'''Frenchie''': No, that is just [[w:The Walking Dead (comic book)|''The Walking Dead'']] with mushrooms. The dead campers, the animals, these hunters... Surely, you all see how strangely you've been acting.
:'''Kimiko''': Us? I've seen you blow cоcaіnе up your dіckhole.
:'''Frenchie''': Wait... You have a point. The copious amount of drug I've taken for decades has surely altered my brain chemistry. That's why I'm not affected. 
:'''Kimiko''': Guess being a junkie was good for something after all.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Romeo and fuckin' Juliet. You two survive this war, I give you six months tops.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy search the ground floor of Fort Harmony while the Boys are in the basement below looking for the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sniffs]'' Smells like deer piss. The last time I was here, I was fresh off the front lines, still picking Nazi brains out of my hair. And only the best of the best got selected for Dr. Vought's trials.
:'''Homelander''': Hmmph.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Not soft little hog-chompers.
:'''Homelander''': Of course. No, I forgot how tough you were.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hey, I'm not the weirdo who doesn't fuck. I mean, your cock's as useless as your cape. What's the point of being famous if you're not getting your dіck wet?
:'''Homelander''': Oh, my dіck was sopping wet when I pulled it out of Stormfront and wiped it on her fucking chin!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; looks down at the decomposed corpses]'' Ooh, look. More uggos. 
:'''Homelander''': Friends of yours?
:''[They unknowingly set off the motion detector that the Boys set up near the stairs]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Oh, shit. They're right above us.
:'''Butcher''': We best get the fuck outta here. Come on.
:'''Hughie''': Hey. Hey, what about the V1?
:'''Mother's Milk''': If Bombsight has the V1, then it saves us from having to torch it.
:'''Hughie''': What are you talking about? Who's &quot;us&quot;?
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' What? You think the world needs more immortal cunts, do ya?
:'''Hughie''': We need it to save Annie and Kimiko! You've been planning this this whole time, haven't you?!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh. Homelander will hear us.
:'''Hughie''': ''[to Mother's Milk]'' And you, you've just been going along with it again.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We can't take the risk, Hughie. And if she has to be collateral damage so that Homelander dies and my daughter lives, we ain't got no fucking choice!
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, easy for you to say. It won't fucking kill you!
:'''Butcher''': Well, at least he knows when to keep his gob shut and do as he's fuckin' told!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Excuse me?
:'''Frenchie''': No, no, no. We don't have time for this. We need to find a way out now.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Wanna know a little secret, Butcher? I ''cheered'' when I found out that you were dying, 'cause at least we'd finally be done with your miserable ass.
:'''Hughie''': You know, I used to say to these guys, &quot;Don't give up on Butcher. There's good in him fighting to get out.&quot; I was wrong. If there was ''anything'' human in there, it's dead. Underneath that chestful of octo-cocks, you are just a fucking monster.
:'''Butcher''': Well, maybe I like it better that way.
:'''Hughie''': That parasite's not just in you. It ''is'' you. ''You're'' the cancer!
:'''Frenchie''': ''Lower your voices.''
:'''Hughie''': You are just as bad as Homelander, maybe worse. And I'm not gonna let you drag us all down with you.
:'''Butcher''': And whatcha gonna do about it?
:'''Hughie''': I'll fucking kill you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': ''[chuckles]'' Tough guy, my ass.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What?
:'''Homelander''': You, your whole bit. This whole &quot;guts and glory&quot; thing. What a fucking joke. I read your classified file. Your brother won a Silver Star for bravery at [[w:Battle of Anzio|Anzio]], and that's what made you beg your father to buy you a spot in Dr. Vought's trials. Because it killed you to see your brother dripping in all that glory, making you look all the more feeble in comparison.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't know shit about me.
:'''Homelander''': Really? I know that when they tried to inject you with the V, you were so fucking petrified that they had to strap you to the table. And you pissed yourself, crying for your mommy like the whiny, spoiled little rich boy that you are. They gave you the world, and you? You deserve ''nothing.''
:''[Soldier Boy stands by as Homelander walks into a small chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Oh, Christ. What's this shithole now?
:''[Soldier Boy shuts the door while Homelander isn't looking and turns the wheel to lock him inside the chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': What are you doing?!
:''[Soldier Boy bends the wheel with his bare hands and tears it off the door]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, well done. I'll be out of here in 30 seconds!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. Maybe not.
:''[Soldier Boy pulls down a lever to open a radioactive valve. Homelander's face immediately starts blistering from the radiation.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': It's enriched uranium. They'd stick us Supes in there to see if we could survive an atomic bomb. Now, for a normal joe, they'd be dead in minutes. But for you, it's a stomach flu. Good luck, though, getting out of a Supe-proof cell while you're bleeding out of your ass.
:''[Homelander fails to kill Soldier Boy by lasering him. He punches the glass as Soldier Boy walks off.]''
:'''Homelander''': Where are you going?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'm gonna go destroy any V1 that I find, you Triple Crown cock jockey.
:'''Homelander''': Why?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't get it, do you? How much I can't fucking stand you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Homelander trapped inside the uranium chamber]''
:'''Butcher''': ''[laughs]'' Oh, if only the world could see you now. Not so fuckin' super, are ya? You, uh... ''[points at Homelander's face]'' You got a bit of... ''[pause; Homelander coughs]'' Did your dad put you in timeout? Ooh… That's gotta sting, knowin' he'd rather spend eternity all alone than with the likes of you. What's the matter? Cunt got your tongue? Will wonders ever cease? ''[chuckles; lights cigarette]'' Tell me something. If you do get the juice in you, you think that makes you a god, don't ya? Seems like I know you pretty well after all. Which is why I know that even if you had a billion twats garglin' your bollocks and singin' &quot;Hosanna&quot;, you still wouldn't be happy. 'Cause deep down, you're just a weak, thin-skinned, needy little boy. You beat the shit outta your own son. Don't get weaker than that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs weakly while groaning in pain]'' Ryan is alive… because he's strong. 'Cause he's my son. The son of God.
:'''Butcher''': You ain't no god. How's about I go fetch the virus, and then we'll watch you shit your fuckin' spine out?
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You don't have it, do you? The virus.
:'''Butcher''': …Don't I?
:'''Homelander''': No, you don't. You would have used it by now. ''[coughs; laughs hysterically]'' You have no way to stop me, do you? Oh, William. You have no idea what you're up against. You can't intervene. I ''will'' get the V1, and when I do, I'm gonna flay you alive. You, Starlight–All the nonbelievers. You're all gonna ''fuckin' drown'' in your own blood.
:'''Butcher''': I promise you, before I die... I'll fuckin' have you. ''[walks away]''
:'''Homelander''': YOU'RE ALL FUCKING PASTE! I can take what's mine, and that makes this WHOLE FUCKING SHITBALL ''MY BIRTHRIGHT! '''MY DESTINY!'''''

===''&quot;One-Shots&quot;'' [5.05]===
:'''Firecracker''': Next up is a $500 million ad blitz with OOH, e-blasts, print and digital. Ain’t nobody won’t know about the Democratic Church of America… and its chosen prophet.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Prophets are servants.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course, sir. Great point. We’re just trying to ease people into it.
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no. We need to prepare America for my ascension. We must be honest. We must be direct. I like “savior.” Or–Or…
:'''Oh Father''': Lord. Yes, I couldn’t agree more, sir. Religion is not about being meek. We should dominate the seven mountains of society, bring the Kingdom of Heaven to Earth! Amen!
:'''Homelander''': Amen.
:'''Firecracker''': Amen! I love all that!
:'''The Deep''': So fucking dope.
:'''Oh Father''': Easter is just around the corner. How perfect would it be for your second coming to come on the day of Jesus' resurrection?
:'''Homelander''': Mmm… Second coming? Let's be clear: I am not the son of God.
:'''Oh Father''': Well, of course. Many people believe that Jesus is both God incarnate and the son.
:'''Homelander''': Well, that's just confusing. I don't want my church getting involved in all... that.
:'''Firecracker''': Exactly. Besides, if we pull up our timeline, you won't have… ''[picks up a bag with a large book inside]'' this.
:''[Firecracker kneels in front of Homelander, who accepts the book. He takes it out of the bag and sees &quot;The Homelander Bible&quot; with himself embossed on the cover.]''
:'''Oh Father''': We're gonna drag our feet because of a book?
:'''Firecracker''': Not a book. ''The'' book. The Homelander Bible.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause; lifts the book with his hands]'' Heavy.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[quietly]'' What the fuck?
:'''Firecracker''': It's got the Old Testament, the New Testament, and the brand new American Testament, written by A.I. trained on the works of Pat Robertson. See, we need to pass the torch, sir. From Jesus to you. Sir, we don't get more than one chance at a first impression. Are we really gonna rush something this important? We ain't [w:Arby's|Arby's]], after all.
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Firecracker''': We're the [[w:The Cheesecake Factory|Cheesecake Factory]].
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs deeply]'' Okay. We'll do it your way.
:'''Firecracker''': Thank you.
:'''Sister Sage''': You do realize this kind of sudden religious upheaval is likely to generate widespread civil unrest?
:'''Firecracker''': Local law should be able to handle the suburbs, but we could use extra hands in major metros.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, let's recall all Supes stationed overseas. American heroes should be protecting America, not Who-Gives-A-Fuckistan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Firecracker''': We ain't doin' that again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[chuckles]'' That's what you said the last six times.
:'''Firecracker''': No, I really mean it this time.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You seem a little out of it. Did you nut? 'Cause usually, you nut.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' Were you baptized?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah, in front of half of Chestnut Hill. Governor Sproul did the honors. My family kept up appearances, of course. Then, we never set foot in church again.
:'''Firecracker''': I had lunch today with the reverend who baptized me. He's been gettin' heat to switch over to our church. You think Homelander might be open to going easy on him? Just... give him a little more time? I wouldn't ask if it was just anybody, but that man practically raised me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So you didn't nut. You know, this whole Homelander as God shit, it's... it's fucking ridiculous.
:'''Firecracker''': Really? You think so?
:'''Soldier Boy''': If he's the second coming, then what does that make me? Joseph? I mean, talk about the biggest cuck in history. Man trades his best cow to bag some hot-ass virgin, and then God comes and squirts his baby gravy up her meat wallet. Fuck that.
:'''Firecracker''': I guess I've been struggling with where to place Homelander in my heart in relation to Jesus and the Lord.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course I worship Homelander. I mean, he's always been a god to me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Look, I'll tell you this. If there is a God... sure as hell didn't come out of my balls. I gotta go.
:'''Firecracker''': Where you off to?
:'''Soldier Boy''': L.A… ''[snickers]'' I fucking hate L.A.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker is filming her new episode of TruthBomb and starts reading her opening monologue from a teleprompter]''
:'''Firecracker''': Welcome to ''Truthbomb''. Our top story tonight's a personal one. It's the story of my hometown church, Holy Baptist of Daytona. It was the church I grew up in. Sang my hymns from the pews there every Sunday. But that church... That church…
:''[The teleprompter stops scrolling]''
:'''Firecracker''': ''[beat]'' That church... has become a hotbed of Starlighter infestation. And my old pastor, Reverend Greg Dupree, has been infected by Starlight's seditious propaganda. Now... I never told a soul this, but when I was a little girl, the reverend regularly had me over for supper. Alone. ''[pause; chuckles]'' No. Nothing ever happened to me, but... ''[sighs]'' I heard stories about his &quot;Fish Fry Fridays.&quot; And if that ain't code for child groomin', I don't know what is. How much longer are we gonna let these institutional pedo churches diddle our babies? Americans deserve better. They deserve... Homelander. They deserve the Democratic Church of America. ''[starts crying]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Would you like some knee pads?
:'''The Deep''': Sorry, what?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're looking at me like you wanna suck my hog. So I'm asking you if you would like some knee pads.
:'''Homelander''': Go easy on the little guy. He brought me Stan Edgar.
:'''The Deep''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Homelander''': You may leave.
:''[Soldier Boy stays behind with Homelander in the conference room as the rest of The Seven leave]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What crawled up your shithole?
:'''Homelander''': No idea what you mean.
:'''Soldier Boy''': When you're pissy, you tend to make everybody else's lives pissy too. Stan Edgar still stonewalling you?
:'''Homelander''': I've talked to him three times now. Says he has no idea where the V1 is. Heart rate steady as a rock. I'm starting to believe him.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That slippery fuck used to fetch my cоcaіnе. ''[pause]'' You know what? I have an idea. Why don't I take a crack at him? ''[Homelander stares at him]'' What, you don't trust me?
:'''Homelander''': Well, you did lock me in a room with nuclear material and tried to stop me getting the V1, so I'm sure you can understand my hesitance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You could've killed me at Fort Harmony, but you didn't. Maybe I feel like I owe you.
:'''Homelander''': Or maybe you're lying.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. ''[inhales deeply]'' Give me an hour. I'll meet you at Edgar's cell.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hughie''': If you and M.M. still think–
:'''Butcher''': Oh, for fuck's sakes, Hughie. Knock it off with this V1 shite! You're doin' me fuckin' head in! ''[sees his dog Terror eating out of the trash]'' Oi, Terror. Cut it out. Come on. ''[to Hughie]'' Now, listen. If we do find that stuff, we're not makin' any fuckin' vaccines out of it, alright? We're not the department of fuckin' health. We burn that shit before Homelander gets his paws on it, and that's that.
:'''Hughie''': Well, if you wanna kill yourself, knock yourself out, but why do you have to decide for the rest of us?
:'''Butcher''': Oh, 'cause I'm fuckin' right! 'Cause I've always been right! I've been tellin' you lot from the fuckin' start the sky is fallin', and guess what? The sky fuckin' fell.
:'''Hughie''': Well, you kinda helped bring it down.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, don't give me that bollocks. Listen, Homelander thinks he's a fuckin' god. Once he becomes immortal, he's gonna start killin' like one, and we are talkin' millions of people. Now, are you tellin' me you're honestly happy to risk all of that for a life on the run with your girl, knowin' that you could've stopped it? You can live with that, can ya?
:'''Hughie''': What if it was Becca? You'd just let her die?
:'''Butcher''': …I ''did'' let her die.
:'''Hughie''': Look… I know that Homelander comes first. I really do. All I'm asking is that we try. Annie and Kimiko deserve that much.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mister Marathon and Malchemical try to convince Soldier Boy to kill Homelander while he is unconscious]''
:'''Mister Marathon''': Hey, man, we don't have a problem with you. Honest, ''[stutters]'' but–but fuck this fucking guy. You know, he fuckеd my life. Look, if you help us get rid of him, then we all win, and you–you can have The Seven. And I don't even, like, really care if you bring me back or whatever.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need to kill him to get The Seven.
:'''Mister Marathon''': No. Yeah, of course not, but what about all that creepy shit he's doing with that church? I mean, they're rounding up everybody cool. All the hοοkers, the drug dealers.
:'''Malchemical''': They wanna ban pοrn. I mean, they wanna ban fucking abortions!
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay, well, banning abortion would be a big problem for me personally.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Exactly, for all of us. So, if we kill him, we can stop worrying about being cops or gods or asexual weirdos. You know, we can go back to fucking and–and being fucking awesome!
:'''Malchemical''': Look, we know you've got that fucked-up chest blast thing. I mean, I was at Herogasm. I saw it.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Just finish him now. Take away his powers, so we can curb stomp him while we have the chance. 
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' He is a fucking asexual weirdo.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Malchemical''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But as much as it pains me to say this, he's ''my'' fucking asexual weirdo. Nobody fucks my son but me.
:'''Mister Marathon''': What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …That came out wrong.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker sees Homelander sitting on the couch in the Seven common room]''
:'''Firecracker''': Homelander… How was L.A.? Did you catch tonight's ''Truthbomb?''
:'''Homelander''': I did indeed. And it was a real barn-burner. Well done.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[smiles]'' Thank you, sir. That means the world.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' How's sеx with my father? ''[Firecracker's smile disappears]'' Is he good at it? Are you thinking about me when you're making love to him?
:'''Firecracker''': I never meant to cross a line or offend you in...
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Don't fret, little one. I don't care about the sеx, really. But I ''do'' care about your little chats after sеx.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, whatever Soldier Boy told you, I can assure you that I...
:'''Homelander''': You mean your inner turmoil when it comes to me and, uh, Jesus? Are you thinking of Jesus when you're praising me?
:'''Firecracker''': No, you are my one and only savior.
:'''Homelander''': You say that, but your jagged little heart is whirring like a hummingbird. ''[sighs; gets up from the couch]'' You're supposed to worship me, love me and me alone.
:'''Firecracker''': I do.
:'''Homelander''': I believed in you. Turns out, you don't believe in me. ''[pause]'' I need you to collect your things and leave.
:'''Firecracker''': But I ''do'' believe in you. I love you! I am the only one here who ever has! I gave you ''everything!'' I gave you my soul! Everybody else here, they're just... They're just scared of you. Or they want something from you, but I have always loved you for you. Just the strongest, smartest, best man on Earth.
:'''Homelander''': ''[scoffs]'' Man?
:'''Firecracker''': No, no, no, no, no. A god. No. No, ''the'' God. My Lord, that look you used to get when you'd suckle me? I felt like Mother Mary herself. I felt blessed to nourish someone as important as you. ''[pause; Homelander sighs]'' But nothing I ever did was good enough, was it? You cast me out into the cold, which was so much worse than never feeling your warmth in the first place. So all I have been tryin' to do is to get you to see me the way that you used to. Hell, only reason I was with Soldier Boy was that your reflected light is better than no light at all. Please, sir. I love you. We all need love, don't we? Even God.
:''[Homelander reaches his hand out to touch Firecracker's cheek, then kills her by impaling her head on the left wing of an eagle statue]''

===''&quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;'' [5.06]===
:''[Hughie and Annie are laying down on the hood of his car looking at clouds together]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so that one?
:'''Annie''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Hughie''': It’s like a rabbit, but it’s got way too many feet.
:'''Annie''': Really? I see a frog eating a dick. This is definitely in my top five.
:'''Hughie''': Top five what?
:'''Annie''': Things to do with you.
:'''Hughie''':  You’re saying that like… this is the last time we’re gonna get to do this. Hey, listen to me. The guys are gonna find Bombsight, they’ll get the V1. You’re not dying. We will have plenty of time to look for filthy shapes in the clouds.
:'''Annie''': God, I don’t know where it comes from. This… unshakeable hope.
:'''Hughie''': Whenever I’d get upset as a kid, which was a lot… my dad would always say, “You know, son, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react.” And that was infuriating. But then, I spent a year in an internment camp, and I had no control over anything. I’d just lay there at night, just… so fucking angry, hearing my dad’s voice in my head… but then I finally understood what he meant. ‘Cause the only thing I had left was… hope. And it is ''really'' fucking hard to hang on to, but I… I’m trying.
:'''Annie''': I think… you might be low-key the strongest person I know.
:'''Hughie''': I’d prefer high-key… ''[Annie chuckles]'' but thank you.
:'''Annie''': ''[beat; points at the sky]'' Look, it’s–it’s Big Bird eating a dick.
:'''Hughie''': You see an unsettling amount of dicks up there, I’m just saying.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy look around Bombsight's empty house to find the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': You sure this is the right address?
:'''Homelander''': I'm sure.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, there's no sign of Bombsight... or fucking anyone. Maybe Crime Analytics got a bad tip.
:''[Homelander sees a laptop on the table. When he opens it up, a video of him and Stormfront having sex starts playing. He notices Soldier Boy watching along with him and closes the laptop.]'' 
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck was that?
:'''Homelander''': I can explain.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That was Clara. You told me she killed herself.
:'''Homelander''': She did, after Ryan did ''that'' to her. It's his fault.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So then what? You locked her in your apartment like some kind of amputee fuck doll...
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ...and filmed her for kicks?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no! It wasn't like that! I did... I did everything I could to keep her alive, to–to make her happy. ''[pause; Soldier Boy punches him]'' Just listen to me, okay?! It wasn't all like... that. I couldn't let her go. I didn't know how... because I loved her. And so did you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're goddamn right I loved her.
:'''Homelander''': She wouldn't want us fighting over her.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Don't fucking tell me what she would want! You knew her for five minutes; I was with her for decades! 
:'''Homelander''': Hold–Hold on. This–This is a setup. Someone's trying to separate us. This has been plan... Fucking Sage. It's Sage. You see? She's trying to screw with us. ''[Soldier Boy turns around to leave]'' Oh, come on! I can't find the V1 without you!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; turns back around]'' Good. You don't deserve to live forever.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher tries to call Bombsight using one of his old phone numbers, but gets a fax machine instead]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': That a fuckin’ fax machine?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, it’s the last of the numbers she had for him. ''[to Golden Geisha]'' Oi. Twenty-three fuckin' numbers you had for Bombsight, and they’re all fuckin' shite?
:'''Golden Geisha''': Do you know how to delete them? I was telling you the truth. I have no idea where Bombsight is, or how to reach him. So just let me go.
:'''Butcher''': Kimiko, keep an eye on her.
:''[Frenchie joins Butcher and M.M. on their way back to their hideout]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck do we do now?
:'''Butcher''': Fetch us some pliers and put the screws to her. She knows more than she’s lettin’ on.
:'''Frenchie''': Or she doesn’t. I’m sorry, but she’s not that good of an actress.
:''[M.M. and Frenchie draw their weapons when they see Sister Sage inside]''
:'''Sister Sage''': He’s right. ''[sarcastically]'' Ooh, I know. The villain switching sides in the final hour. What a twist, a shock that never happens. But unclench those assholes, fellas. I’m here to help. I’m a free agent now. I came alone. You can shoot me in the heart whenever you like.
:'''Butcher''': That’s a good idea. ''[takes out and cocks his gun]''
:'''Sister Sage''': That would go against our mutual interest.
:'''Butcher''': Which is?
:'''Sister Sage''': Stopping a petulant, laser-eyed narcissist from also becoming immortal. I want him dead as much as you do.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You spent the last couple of years building Homelander up, and now you wanna tear him down? Why the fuck should we trust you?
:'''Sister Sage''': You can’t trust me. Honestly, you shouldn’t, but you will.
:'''Frenchie''': And why would we do that?
:'''Sister Sage''': I know Campbell and Starlight are headed to plant your little virus. You can trace anyone, if you know what to look for. And you baboons, you leave a trail of banana peels wherever you go. I could have stopped you, I could have killed you... but I didn’t.
:'''Butcher''': That virus is gonna wipe out the fuckin’ lot of ya. And you don’t strike me as the suicide type.
:'''Sister Sage''': I will be in my nice, quiet bunker, reading [[w:Ludwig Wittgenstein|Wittgenstein]] in peace. That is, unless that bleached blonde baby gets his hands on V1 and survives. You must have realized by now Granny out there has no clue how to contact Bombsight, but I do. And I can get him here. So... let me help.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': I wanted to say... I'm very sorry about this. I watched every episode of ''Undercover Geisha'' when I was a kid. I loved it, even the parts that were ridiculous racist stereotypes. It meant so much to see someone who looked like me on TV. ''[brief pause]'' We watched with Japanese subtitles. It's how I learned English.
:'''Golden Geisha''': If you're such a big fan, let me go.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Désolé'', but we cannot. Not until we get the V1 that Bombsight possesses.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Wait, that's what you're after? V1? ''[laughs]''
:'''Kimiko''': What–What's so funny?
:'''Golden Geisha''': I'll tell Bombsight to just give it to you. I sure as hell don't want it.
:'''Kimiko''': ...He stole the V1 for you, so you two could be together forever. ''[pause]'' But you didn't take it.
:'''Golden Geisha''': ''[shakes her head]'' I said no... which is why he left. I guess, for him, watching me get old was too painful.
:'''Frenchie''': I'm sorry, I do not understand. Why won't you take it?
:'''Golden Geisha''': To live forever? It'd be torture. ''[scoffs]'' You're both so young. You wouldn't understand.
:'''Kimiko''': Maybe I would.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Summer is only beautiful when you know winter is coming.
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Kimiko]'' Is this how you feel?
:'''Kimiko''': ''[nods]'' Annie and I talked about it. We'd have to... ''[signing]'' We'd have to watch you and Hughie waste away. Neither of us wants to die, but... we don't wanna be vampires either. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Legend leads Homelander inside the Boys' hideout, which is deserted]''
:'''The Legend''': Okay, um... 
:'''Homelander''': No one here.
:'''The Legend''': I grant you, it–it looks like that, yeah. But this–this is their hideout, so I'm sure there's plenty of clues all over here. ''[picks up a receipt]'' Here you go. ''[Homelander sighs]'' Oh, no. Well, this is nothing. But, you know, they have to have left something behind, you know?
:'''Homelander''': ''[looks at the receipt; chuckles]'' Hmmph. It's not nothing.
:'''The Legend''': It's a Taco Bell receipt. 
:'''Homelander''': No, ''this is Sage!'' Taunting me! 
:'''The Legend''': Okay.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs frustratingly; sits on bed]'' This makes no sense. This makes no sense. This makes no sense! ''[chuckles]'' You said I would get the V1. You said I'd be a god. Did I do something wrong? Did I fail you? I did everything you asked me to. I gave my boy up. Please, don't leave me here to just rot. Don't just let me become ''nothing'' like ''him.'' Please…
:'''The Legend''': I gotta assume… The only reason you're saying all this stuff is, you're... You're not gonna let me walk out of here alive, are you? Yeah? Okay. Yeah. ''[pause]'' Alright, look, kid. I've been around a long time and I… This is just how it goes. You know all those old Supes at the home? Every one of them had their moments in the sun and they all thought it was gonna go on forever. And every one of them got shoved out in the end. They all got shoved out. All of them. And I know what I'm talking about; I did the shoving. I mean, look at Goldie. One minute, she's on the set of ''Undercover Geisha'', getting finger-popped by Lorenzo Lamas. The next, she's shilling for VoughtAlert necklaces and Activia poop yogurt.
:'''Homelander''': Geisha sells VoughtAlert necklaces?
:'''The Legend''': Guess you don't watch your own news channel. The point is, look, there comes a day… I got shoved out, too. Never saw it coming. Did not see that coming, and I fought it like hell. But in the end... bupkis. There is a natural order to things. And the more you fight the inevitable, the more the inevitable just… cunt-punts you. ''[pats Homelander's shoulder]'' Yep.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; gets up]'' You're not scared of me.
:'''The Legend''': No, I'm not scared of you. I… I feel for you, kid. I do. I mean, you're a fucking whackjob. But, you know, there's talent. So… No surprise there. ''[pause]'' So, there you go. Do what you gotta do.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' ...You can go.
:'''The Legend''': I–I can go?
:'''Homelander''': Leave. No words. Just go. Now. Go. ''Now.''
:'''The Legend''': Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
:''[After The Legend leaves the Boys' hideout, Homelander makes a call on his cell phone]''
:'''Operator''': How can I help you, sir? 
:'''Homelander''': I need the tracking coordinates for a VoughtAlert necklace.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Tough skin or not, I can still break your fucking neck!
:'''Bombsight''': Ben, stop. Please.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; lets Bombsight go]'' Goddammit.
:'''Bombsight''': ''[beat]'' I can't give it to you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goldie doesn't even wanna take it.
:'''Bombsight''': Then maybe someday, I'll find someone who will!
:'''Soldier Boy''': You were always gonna fuck it up with Goldie anyway. You could never hold down a girl! It was either a smack needle up your dick or— 
:'''Bombsight''': Having to stand next to you? You were everyone's favorite from the start, especially Clara. Everything they wanted us to be, everything they were working towards, they saw it in you. I fucking hated you for it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No. No, I wasn't everything Clara wanted. I didn't know how to be.
:'''Bombsight''': But you loved her. What wouldn't you give to have her back... forever?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …I really fuckin' hate you.
:'''Bombsight''': No shit.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But we don't have to kill each other. I can take away your immortality... and your powers. You won't have to live forever alone. Then, you and Goldie can spend whatever time you have left like you want.
:'''Bombsight''': Why would you do that for me?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd do it for the V1.
:''[Bombsight hands a case to Soldier Boy, who opens it to find a V1 syringe inside. The Boys hear an explosion from far away and run towards it. Cut to Bombsight looking at the wound near his shoulder.]''
:'''Bombsight''': This is the first time I've seen my blood in... I can't remember.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander finds Soldier Boy with the V1 syringe he received from Bombsight. The Boys and Sister Sage watch them from the nearby woods.]''
:'''Homelander''': Don't. I don't wanna fight you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks down at the syringe]'' You know, Clara used to say the craziest shit. That I was the strongest Supe alive, the ultimate expression of what we could be... but she was wrong. ''[pause]'' She hadn't met you yet.
:''[Soldier Boy offers the syringe to Homelander, who accepts it]''
:'''Butcher''': No.
:'''Sister Sage''': I don't understand. He wasn't supposed to... It's impossible.
:'''Homelander''': But you hate me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I love her more... and this is what she would want.
:''[Homelander lasers his left arm and injects the V1 into his wound. His eyes immediately start flickering and he kneels to the ground in pain. The Boys watch in horror as Homelander screams and shoots powerful lasers into the sky.]''
:'''Butcher''': '''''Run.'''''

===''&quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;'' [5.07]===
:''[A V1-empowered Homelander sits in President Calhoun's chair in the Oval Office. He hears a knock at the door]''
:'''Homelander''': Come in! ''[in a cheerful tone, as Ashley and Calhoun enter]'' Hello, you two. Isn't it a beautiful day?
:'''Calhoun''': ''[nervously]'' You're welcome to use this office as long as you need. 
:'''Homelander''': I know. Let's get right to it! While Oh Father is hard at work on my divine unveiling, I have a few action items I need you to handle.
:'''Ashley''': Of course. Anything, sir.
:'''Homelander''': The Democratic Church of America is to be the ''official'' national religion, based around the one true god: Me. 
:'''Calhoun''': Great idea.
:'''Homelander''': I want every boundary between church and state dissolved. I want troops sent into every sanctuary city that took in Starlighters. Issue an executive order banning abortion. Also, breastfeeding is now mandatory. Babies need their mothers, not fake milk. Actually, outlaw that, too.
:'''Ashley''': Sir? 
:'''Homelander''': ''[intensely] Ban nut milk.'' The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was making you think nuts were milk. ''[snickers after a short silence]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': Those are all, uh, fantastic ideas, sir, um... I'll run them by Congress– 
:'''Homelander''': No, disband it.
:'''Calhoun''': Sorry? 
:'''Homelander''': Disband Congress. It's better for freedom. 
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, I don't really have that authority. 
:'''Homelander''': ''[frowns]'' Ashley, do me a favor. Read Steven's mind. I want to know if he's a true believer. 
:'''Calhoun''': But of... course I am, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific! Then you have nothing to worry about. ''[gets up and steps over to Ashley]'' Do it. 
:''[He rips off her wig, and she gasps and covers her face in shame as &quot;Back Ashley&quot; is revealed]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': ''[revolted]'' What the fuck is that? 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': Don't look!
:'''Homelander''': Don't make me ask again. 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': ''[stammering in fear]'' Sir, I–I... Sir, I...
:'''Ashley''': ''[sighs; steels herself and turns back to Homelander]'' He's terrified of you, sir. He thinks you're just a tiny bit psychotic.
:'''Homelander''': Steven! ''[steps towards Calhoun, glaring intensely]'' Here I am. A living god. ''[rests his hands on Calhoun's shoulders]'' Right before your eyes. And still, your faith wavers? ''[beat; Calhoun is clearly too terrified to answer]'' It's okay. No, I'm not angry. ''[clasps his head gently]'' But I ''am'' disappointed.
:''[He crushes Calhoun's head into a pulp, then wipes the blood off his hands on a sofa. An utterly terrified Ashley stares at Calhoun's body as Homelander sits back down at the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie sees Kimiko suffering from radiation exposure inside a homemade uranium chamber while Butcher and Frenchie watch]''
:'''Hughie''': What the fuck is going on in here?
:'''Kimiko''': I'm okay.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' The second she's ready, we go the next dose, alright?
:'''Hughie''': &quot;Next dose?&quot; Are you kidding?! Look at her! What are you doing?
:'''Butcher''': Plan fuckin' B, my son. If at first you don't succeed, find another hole to fuck. See, Soldier Boy's flashy tіt blast got me thinkin', he–he weren't born with that power. The Ivans gave it to him through a consistent application of scientific methodology.
:'''Frenchie''': They threw an atom bomb worth of radiation at him.
:'''Butcher''': Right. So, usin' the research we nicked from 'em a few donkeys back, me and Frenchie are doin' the same thing to Kimiko. She gets Soldier Boy's power, she tіt-blasts Homelander, bees and fuckin' honey.
:'''Hughie''': So when we kept asking what you two were up to, and you kept saying, &quot;Mind your fuckin' business, cunt,&quot; it was this?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah.
:'''Hughie''': Butcher, this is... the most insane-ass shit I ever heard. In a few weeks, you're gonna somehow do what it took the Russians over a decade?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, 'cause unlike the Ivans, we got us a livin', breathin' supercomputer bunked down in student services.
:'''Hughie''': Sage? All she does is self-medicate and binge [[w:Love Island (American TV series)|''Love Island'']]. This could fucking kill Kimiko. Frenchie…
:'''Frenchie''': No. It's not my wish.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck Butcher. Who cares what he wants?
:''[Kimiko coughs and stumbles out of the uranium chamber]'' 
:'''Kimiko''': Not Butcher. ''[panting heavily]'' Me. It's my call.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Annie''': Oh Father's up to something big at Vought Studios, but we don't know what. Could be a trap.
:'''Frenchie''': Could be.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' You stay here with Kimiko and Sage. We'll bust into the studio, nab the holy twat, stomp on his bollocks till he gives us Homelander's next move. And then I'll do the cunt and we'll call it an honest day's work, yeah?
:'''Hughie''': No. Quit acting like we're going on a milk run. It's over. ''[voice breaking]'' We lost.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' [[w:Victoria Beckham|Posh Spice]] was easily the most shit member of [[w:Spice Girls|the squad]]. Could barely sing or dance. No discernible talent whatsoever. Wasn't even featured on [[w:Wannabe|&quot;Wannabe&quot;]], but did that stop her? No. You look at her now... still married with [[w:David Beckham|Becks]]. Fifteen engagement rings, 32 ''Vogue'' covers, inducted by Prince William into the Order of the bloody British Empire. Even I doubted her move into women's apparel, but her line is a staple at Paris fuckin' Fashion Week. You see, despite her obvious disadvantages–includin' a tragic inability to smile–she never gave up, and we ain't givin' up either.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shakes his head]'' Your fuckin' pep talks.
:'''Frenchie''': Terrible.
:'''Annie''': The worst.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, bollocks. That was a fuckin' knockout.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Alone and depressed, The Deep tosses an aluminum can into the sea. A hammerhead shark appears and [[w:Samuel L. Jackson|speaks to him]]]''
:'''Xander''': Yo! You gonna get that, bro?
:'''The Deep''': Xander! ''[chuckles]'' Hey, what you doing here? So good to see you, man.
:'''Xander''': We wouldn't want a little guppy to get caught in that can, my man. Come on in, grab it. ''[swims in circles]''
:'''The Deep''': I've had such a fucked day, man. You wouldn't believe it, bro.
:'''Xander''': Yeah. Get in the water, man.
:'''The Deep''': No. You're not... You're not listening to me–
:'''Xander''': ''[angrily]'' Ah, shut the fuck up! We know you were responsible for the pipeline genocide. Remember March 15th, motherfucker!
:'''The Deep''': No... No, wait, that–That wasn't me, man!
:'''Xander''': If you step one foot, one fucking stupid-ass simian toe in the water ''ANYWHERE''—an ocean, a stream, a fucking puddle—on God, son, you're dead! We're gonna ''KILL YOU!'' You understand, you dumb motherfucker?! Water is fucking off limits to you! ''YOU ARE '''DEAD''' TO US! [swimming away]'' Bitch-ass!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy sees Homelander standing over a scale model of a Homelander-themed amusement park]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': The fuck is all this?
:'''Homelander''': Hey. HomeLand. Next phase of the reboot. Showing the faithful my boundless love for them. ''[points at a monument of himself]'' That there? The Homelander Mount. We're saying that this is where the angel visited me, and I ascended to godhood.
:'''Soldier Boy''': …Right.
:'''Homelander''': You're gonna love this. ''[waves his hand over a rollercoaster]'' This area here? We're calling it: &quot;Soldier Boy! Father of God!&quot; All the fastest rides are gonna be there, and every night, there's gonna be a ticker tape parade, honoring you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' I'm gonna head down to Bogotá. Figure I'll snort and fuck my way through the banana republics.
:'''Homelander''': Uh... When are you coming back?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Probably not for… ever.
:'''Homelander''': What? Look, if you don't like the park, I mean, forget it. I don't–I don't care about any of it. You want hοοker and blow? I'll get you all the drugs and all the wrinkly old whοres in America.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No, you're not hearing me.
:'''Homelander''': No, you're not hearing ''me.'' I am where I am because you chose me. To help me. So, I want you to have whatever you want.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What I want is to get away.
:'''Homelander''': From what? ''[scoffs]'' Or from who?
:'''Soldier Boy''': This just ain't my bag, kid.
:'''Homelander''': I welded your shield back together, you never use it. I hired you a three-star Michelin chef, all you ever order is meatloaf and chili. I even had L.J. mock up a new super suit for you. 
:''[Homelander pulls out a poster of Soldier Boy wearing an American flag-patterned suit]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, God. See, that's what I'm talking about.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, God? What?!
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't want that. And another thing: I gave you the V1 because of Clara. Because that's what she would've wanted. This was never gonna be a &quot;playing catch on the front lawn&quot;, &quot;fixing up the old Impala&quot; bullshit. You're too weird.
:'''Homelander''': Stop fucking saying that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': And you're no god. No angel came to you. You had a wet dream about some chick with big, juicy tіts. If that makes you a god, then I'm a fucking god every night.
:'''Homelander''': '''I ''AM'' GOD!'''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' Would it help if I said, &quot;It's not you, it's me&quot;?
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs softly]'' If you wanna go, go.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sighs; pats Homelander on the back]'' Good luck, son.
:''[Homelander suddenly grabs Soldier Boy from behind and puts him in a chokehold until he passes out]''
:'''Homelander''': I love you.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mother's Milk''': Help me out here. In the movie, was Homelander God, the [[w:Second Coming|Second Coming]], or Jesus' brother? 'Cause the world-building in there was fuckеd.
:'''Annie''': Does it even matter? I mean, they will believe whatever he tells them. What is the fucking point of saving people if they don't wanna be saved? This is what they want.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[beat]'' Alright. So, back when my Gramps got killed by Soldier Boy, shit got rough. Neighborhood kids laughed, called me soft, shit like that. And then one day, I find this pigeon on the sidewalk, wing busted. He was in bad shape. So, I run inside, grab a shoebox and a first aid kit, and come to start nursin' it. I figure, if I can save just this one life, maybe it might somehow make up for... Anyway, those same fuckin' kids, they found out. And so now, it don't take a genius to go from Marvin Milk to Mother's Milk. &quot;Yo, Mother's Milk, you letting that sky rat suck on your tіttіеs or that dіck?&quot; They were relentless. Right up until the day when that little bird flew outta my house and right over their heads, good as new. And you know what, Annie? Here's the crazy thing: I loved my new name. 'Cause I loved helpin' people. I loved being kind, makin' my family proud. That name was a badge of honor for me. Now, last year, locked up in that detention center, something changed. My heart, it just got scarred over. Like the world had just broken it one too many times. And yeah, it got easier, just being cynical. Checking out. But I also hated myself a lot more. I went from being a mοthеrfuckеr with a heart to just being a mοthеrfuckеr. But you know what? Givin' a shit in a world where nobody gives a shit? It ain't soft. It's hard as hell… and that's the real me. ''[pause]'' And that's the real you, too.

===''&quot;Blood and Bone&quot;'' [5.08]===
:'''Homelander''': It's alright. I'm not here to hurt you.
:'''Ryan''': You mean like last time?
:'''Homelander''': Look at you. No harm done.
:'''Ryan''': How'd you find me?
:'''Homelander''': Crime Analytics caught wind of a young man flying outside Kolvereid. Tends to draw attention.
:'''Ryan''': I don't want your help.
:'''Homelander''': I know. You've made that very clear. But you're also the son of God, and you should not be sleeping in a barn. You can have a whole floor of the Tower. Do what you want with it, come and go as you please.
:'''Ryan''': I don't wanna be anywhere near you.
:'''Homelander''': Everything is different now. I've ascended. I'm immortal.
:'''Ryan''': Then, why do you give a shit about what happens to me?
:'''Homelander''': Because we're family. ''[Ryan scoffs]'' We have the same blood pumping through our veins.
:'''Ryan''': Yeah, well, you've got your shitty racist dad. So you don't need me.
:'''Homelander''': No, Soldier Boy doesn't matter. You and I, that's all that matters. I know you, because I ''am'' you. And you're me.
:'''Ryan''': Dad… Get fuckеd. I am nothing like you. You were already the most powerful person on Earth. And you were a lonely, miserable piece of fucking shit, throwing tantrums when you didn't get what you want. Why the fuck would more power make you any better? It's just going to make you an even more lonely, miserable piece of shit. Scaring people into calling you God doesn't make you God. And deep down, you know that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; tearfully sighs]'' It's okay. You don't know what's going on. It's okay… but you will.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[After M.M. kills Oh Father by blocking his mouth with a metal mouth gag, causing his head to explode and spill blood all around]''
:'''Hughie''': I really need a new job.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''The Deep''': It was all a test. Yes! The universe is rewarding me for my loyalty, just like [[w:Sean Connery|Sean Connery]] rewarded [[w:Kevin Costner|Costner]] at the end of ''[[w:Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves|Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves]]''!
:'''Hughie''': Sweet ''Jesus'', you're a moron.
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander gives his Easter address from the Oval Office and begins reading from a teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': My fellow Americans... Happy Easter. A day commemorating Jesus, who, as we all know, was tortured, stripped of his dignity and killed. And that's all well and good. But you're Americans. You deserve a God who doesn't die. A God who fights back. A God you can believe in. Well, today, I bring you good news. Recently, I was visited by an exquisite angel bearing the gift of revelation. As I bathed in her light, her heavenly lips spilled sweet truth into my ear, and I was awakened to my true purpose. Not just to be the world's greatest hero but to save all humanity. To be... the Second Coming. But in a way, really, I'm the First Coming. America... I am the Lord. Your savior. I am your God. And as such, I'm going to usher this world into a new, golden dawn. An age in which your God moves among you, seen and heard. Your prayers are truly answered when you visit homelander.church. And all I ask for in return… I simply ask that you open your hearts and put your faith in me. Those who accept my truth will be welcomed into a land of milk and honey. For I am your Fa…
:''[Homelander stares blankly at the teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': I am… ''[beat]'' But no matter what I do, some of you people will never accept me into your hearts. Never love me. Never believe in me. And to such heretics, I offer oblivion. And those who seek to destroy me, you will die the most horrible of deaths, as befits your wickedness. My reign will last forever, and when this world is cold and dead, I shall remain... eternal. God of the ashes.
:''[Butcher and Kimiko suddenly break into the Oval Office]''
:'''Butcher''': Evening, cunts. Daddy's home. 
:'''Homelander''': William. ''[pause]'' I was starting to think you weren't going to hold up your end of our deal.
:'''Butcher''': Scorched earth?
:'''Homelander''': A shame about the French one. How's your little science experiment going without him?
:'''Butcher''': Let's find out.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander is now at Butcher's mercy after losing his powers]''
:'''Butcher''': Shock and awe, my son. Blood and fuckin' bone.
:''[Homelander charges toward Butcher, who grabs Homelander's fist with his left hand and punches him three times with the other. Butcher grabs Homelander again and prepares to land another punch.]''
:'''Butcher''': This... is for Frenchie.
:''[Butcher punches Homelander in the face repeatedly, knocking him down to the floor and leaving him cowering in fear]''
:'''Homelander''': Stop! You owe me. All the times I could've killed you and I didn't, I let you live. I'll–I'll give you Vought. ''[Butcher picks up his crowbar]'' I'll give you Vought, alright? You can do whatever you want with it, okay? I'll–I'll... Becca. You want your wife back? I'll have a shape-shifter be her. ''[whimpers]'' Just tell me! I'll fucking suck your dіck! Please! I'll do anything! You want me to eat shit? I'll eat your fucking shit! I'll eat your fucking shit on live TV! ''[pause; Butcher knocks him down against the desk]'' Madelyn, you promised me. It's not real. ''[to Butcher]'' You can't fucking do this. ''You can't fucking do this! '''I am the Homelander!'''''
:'''Butcher''': No. Nah, you ain't nothing. And this... This is for my Becca.
:'''Homelander''': No, no...
:''[Butcher stabs Homelander in the head with the straight end of the crowbar. He lifts it up, breaking Homelander's skull open and spilling his brains all over the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie confronts Butcher at Vought Tower to stop him from releasing the Supe virus. Butcher is looking out the window when Hughie enters the main conference room.]''
:'''Butcher''': Traffic?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. Accident on the bridge. Should have taken the tunnel.
:'''Butcher''': ''[turns around]'' I thought you might try to stop me. But you shouldn't have come alone. You should've brought a fuckin' army.
:'''Hughie''': No. If you were gonna release the virus, you would've done it already.
:'''Butcher''': Unless... I'm waitin' for all the Supe cunts to clock in for the day shift. Not much point shootin' spunk into an empty fuckin' building, now is there?
:'''Hughie''': Okay, well, now I kinda wish I brought an army. Where's the virus, Butcher?
:'''Butcher''': I dumped it in the sprinkler tank. Frenchie's idea, God rest the mad bastard. ''[picks up remote controller]'' All I gotta do is pull this trigger, and it rains kill juice on all 99 floors. Shit will be worldwide within a couple of days.
:'''Hughie''': Why? I mean, we already won.
:'''Butcher''': Won? No, we just gave 'em a black eye. As long as there's Vought, there'll be Supes. And sooner or later, some cunt that's already out there becomes the next Homelander, and you fuckin' know it. No. We need to end the whole bloody notion of Supes, and we need to make it permanent. I mean, you can see it, right? This is it. This is the moment.
:'''Hughie''': You dragged me through fucking hell... for this. For now. To be your... canary. Or your Kessler. Or Lenny. But here's the thing: You don't need me for that. You never did. It's already in you. I can see it. You might have a broken fucking heart, but you have one. You are not a monster, Butcher. It just hurts to be human.
:'''Butcher''': I'm sorry, mate. Superheroes... are done.
:'''Hughie''': ''[pulls out gun]'' I can't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Petit Hughie and his gun. Takes some big bollocks to pull the trigger on a mate.
:'''Hughie''': ''[aims the gun at Butcher]'' I will if I have to.
:'''Butcher''': ''[chuckles]'' Nah. You ain't got the…
:''[Butcher takes the gun from Hughie, punches him and throws him across the room]''
:'''Butcher''': Stay down.
:''[Butcher sees Hughie staring at the remote and rushes to take it before Hughie does. Hughie quickly gets up and trades more blows with Butcher, spitting blood onto the floor after getting punched hard in the gut. Eventually, Butcher gains the upper hand and picks up the remote while Hughie lies helpless on the floor. Before he can pull the remote trigger, he has a hallucination of Lenny lying in Hughie's place. He gets shot in the abdomen by Hughie as he moves his finger away from the trigger. Realizing what he did, Hughie rushes to Butcher's side.]''
:'''Hughie''': I'm sorry. Um... I didn't wanna–I didn't wanna do that. Um... I'm–I'm gonna call an ambulance, okay?
:'''Butcher''': I wouldn't bother. It's alright, Hughie. I gave you no choice. I... I wasn't gonna stop. All the blood... and shite I put you through... and none of it made a blind bit of difference. You–You stayed yourself... no matter what I done. ''[coughs]''
:'''Hughie''': Hey.
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know what to do.
:'''Hughie''': You don't need to do anything.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat; Hughie holds his hand]'' You really are... the spittin' of Lenny.
:''[Butcher slowly loses his grip on Hughie as he dies]'' 
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': ''[last lines; to his and Annie's unborn daughter]'' Take care of your mom, Robin.
==External links==
{{The Boys}}
[[Category:The Boys (TV series) seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>mr9d9mjgugvvf6ze9mchnojvnwfwq3g</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943882</id>
      <parentid>3943868</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:26:30Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Constantin1995</username>
        <id>3215997</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* &quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot; [5.01] */</comment>
      <origin>3943882</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="89876" sha1="7tu767e5egqpk5qgek9rnr8xjgmninz" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Season''' [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 1|1]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 2|2]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 3|3]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 4|4]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 5|5]]  [[The Boys (TV series)|Main]]
----
'''''[[w:The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]''''' is an American superhero television series developed by Eric Kripke for [[w:Amazon Prime Video|Amazon Prime Video]]. Based on the comic book of the same name by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson, it follows the eponymous team of vigilantes as they combat superpowered individuals who abuse their abilities.

==''&quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;'' [5.01]==
:''[Homelander meets with Sister Sage after the Flight 37 video gets leaked to the public by Annie]''
:'''Sister Sage''': We knew this would happen sooner or later. We've been ready. In the last 24 hours, we have flooded the zone with so much disinformation, people can't tell their clit from their collarbone. The share price is only down half a point. Besides that, damage is minimal.
:'''Homelander''': ''[points at open book]'' What's this?
:'''Sister Sage''': That is a Gutenberg Bible. Martin Shkreli sold it to me at discount.
:'''Homelander''': You're really on top of the world, huh? Peter Thiel, the Obamas calling you for advice. Everyone loves you. 
:'''Sister Sage''': You can't really think I care.
:'''Homelander''': Maybe you didn't used to.
:'''Sister Sage''': It's all for you. The higher the share price, the happier the billionaires. The more you get to do whatever the fuck you wanna do.
:'''Homelander''': Are you aware that NNC is calling me a murderer? Saying that maybe I even did something to my son?
:'''Sister Sage''': No. Everyone knows that Ryan is... ''[sighs]'' Sorry. That he is at boarding school. In Svalbard. ''[chuckling]'' That story's holding. We're good.
:'''Homelander''': And how–how about you, Sage? Are you… good?
:'''Sister Sage''': I'm fine.
:'''Homelander''': You're not distracted at all? After Thomas Godolkin dumped you? You're not numbing the heartache by stabbing your brain?
:'''Sister Sage''': No.
:'''Homelander''': Then, just tell me. How did Starlight get in the building? ''[beat; exhales]'' I WAS '''HUMILIATED!''' As if people don't hate me enough!
:'''Sister Sage''': Your numbers are north of 96.
:'''Homelander''': Anyone can smile for the pollsters, sure, but millions of them are still Starlighters in their hearts! Where it counts! Have you seen the memes? Have you seen the ''memes'' about me?! ''[brief pause]'' Posting them should be a crime.
:'''Sister Sage''': Yes, but we can't go... ''[notices Homelander glaring at her]'' Oh, you're serious. Uh, sir... ''[chuckles]'' Ongoing conflict is useful to us. It keeps people afraid…
:'''Homelander''': Shut up.
:'''Sister Sage''': …which is exactly what we–
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no, no! NO! You promised me Caesar.
:'''Sister Sage''': He was stabbed by his best friends.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, well, I can relate to that! But I need people to be ''devoted!'' To '''''me!'''''
:'''Sister Sage''': May I speak freely?
:'''Homelander''': Give it a shot.
:'''Sister Sage''': I told you, no matter how much power you amass, it will not make you happy.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You know what's gonna make me happy? I think I'll be happy when Starlight and William Butcher are corpses. I want it leaked that in three days, we are going to execute Hugh Campbell, Milk, and the... French one. That'll draw out Starlight and Butcher, and then I will take care of this once and for all.
:'''Sister Sage''': Consider it done, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, wow. Your skin is so oily, like hugging a McRib.
:'''Annie''': Wait, did you—Did you just... How?!
:'''Kimiko''': Speech therapy and fucking therapy therapy and so much fucking TikTok.
:'''Annie''': Well, you sure sound like you're on TikTok.
:'''Butcher''': Sixteen-hour flight and not a fucking peep.
:'''Kimiko''': 'Cause all you can say is &quot;Oi, oi, oi. Cunt, cunt, cunt&quot;.
:'''Butcher''': I liked her better with her mouth shut.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Annie''': Took you long enough. Slowing down in your old age?
:'''A-Train''': ''[laughs and hugs Annie]'' Fuck you, [[w:Killing of JonBenét Ramsey|JonBenét]].
:'''Kimiko''': You guys are friends?
:'''A-Train''': You talk?
:'''Kimiko''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Annie''': Reggie's been helping us out for a while.
:'''A-Train''': ''[takes drink from Annie]'' Thanks. Where is everybody? ''[pause]'' I heard about the Pittsburgh raid last month. Go Marie Moreau. How's her team doing?
:'''Annie''': Yeah, they're scoring a few wins, but not nearly enough.
:'''A-Train''': So, what's with the 911?
:'''Annie''': Hughie, M.M. and Frenchie are gonna be executed tomorrow, so we need your help to break them out.
:'''A-Train''': Of a Vought prison camp? You're fucking crazy.
:'''Annie''': Listen, you don't have to fight, okay? We just need you to run them to the extraction point. It's easy.
:'''A-Train''': Easy. Right. You know Homelander's gonna be waiting. I can't.
:'''Annie''': We know how to kill him, okay? But we need Frenchie to do it.
:'''A-Train''': Great. Well, good luck with that.
:'''Annie''': Hey, are you gonna keep running forever? I mean, if we're gonna really take him out, we need your help.
:'''A-Train''': So what, I'm just supposed to join this little fucking supergroup?
:'''Annie''': I mean, we are down one asshоlе, so… Yeah, maybe.
:'''A-Train''': ''[pause]'' No.
:'''Annie''': Why not?
:'''A-Train''': I said I can't.
:'''Annie''': I know you're scared…
:'''A-Train''': No, I'm not fucking scared! I got a family to protect. ''[Annie sighs]'' I can't.
:'''Annie''': I get it, I do. Me, too. ''[pause]'' Keep them safe.
:''[Annie and Kimiko watch A-Train run off]''
:'''Kimiko''': We shouldn't have let him go.
:'''Annie''': No. Homelander fuckеd him up. Fuckеd me up, too. We're gonna need an Exit Plan B.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk go over their escape plan]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so we hit the east gate.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Oui'', Petit Hughie, when the guards change shift.
:'''Hughie''': And we go at dawn.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We've been through this.
:'''Hughie''': I know. I just wanna go over it a few more times just so I can get it in my head.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hughie… ''[holds out moonshine jar]'' Take a fuckin' drink, will you?
:'''Hughie''': No, thanks.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shrugs; to Frenchie]'' ''Mon ami?''
:'''Frenchie''': You know I quit.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Leave it up to you to have your shit the tightest you've ever had it in a fuckin' internment camp.
:'''Frenchie''': Yeah, what about you? Have you been eating the fresh produce I smuggle in?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Moonshine's got corn in it. ''[takes a sip of moonshine]''
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Hughie]'' Hey… Don't worry. Annie will be fine. She's strong.
:'''Hughie''': ''[takes liquor bottle from Frenchie]'' Kimiko, too. 
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Y'all mοthеrfuckеrs are trippin'. Y'all don't know what the fuck's going on with them. ''[to Frenchie]'' Hey, you don't even know where Kimiko's at.
:'''Hughie''': What, so you don't think you're gonna see Janine and Monique again? Is that it?
:'''Mother's Milk''': What I know is that they're a shit ton safer without me making a mess out of their lives.
:'''Hughie''': M.M., you're the strongest guy I know. We've been in tougher spots than this.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, I did two tours in the 3/8 in Farah Province. The shit I saw would ''fuck you up''. And even that was ''Emily in Paris'' compared to the shit that we looking at here. And even if we make it outta here, we ain't surviving this fuckin' war. We are dead men walking. Chin-chin, mοthеrfuckеrs.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie is shocked to see all of his prison bunkmates brutally murdered in their bunker. He sees Homelander sitting on his bed reading from his journal.]''
:'''Homelander''': &quot;Well, Annie, today marks two months. It's a little insane how much I miss you. I've been having trouble eating. Every day, I see people giving up, but not me. Because I have you.&quot; It's very, very sweet.
:'''Hughie''': They were innocent.
:'''Homelander''': Oh… ''[looks briefly at one of the corpses]'' Well, I'd hardly call them innocent. They lied to me. Played dumb about your little stash in the wall there. We've known about that for quite some time, but I just wanted to give you a little hope.
:'''Hughie''': You're not the one who gave it to me, asshоlе.
:'''Homelander''': Ooh, I like Internment Camp Hughie. She's zesty.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck you. Do it.
:'''Homelander''': What?
:'''Hughie''': Kill me.
:'''Homelander''': Not until we flush out Butcher and Starlight.
:'''Hughie''': You think they're dumb enough to just walk right into your trap?
:'''Homelander''': Let's not insult each other. We both know they're coming. ''[throws the journal at Hughie's feet]'' Do you remember when we first met?
:'''Hughie''': How could I forget? 
:'''Homelander''': Believe Festival. I tried to cleanse your soul. I remember thinking... ''[sighs]'' &quot;Why him?&quot; What does Starlight see in this gangly simp that reeks of fear and Strawberry Smoothie kids' shampoo? You know, William and Victoria Neuman love you, too. I mean, I get it from your perspective. You're punching up. Good for you. But why are they so hopelessly devoted to such staggering mediocrity? Why would Starlight and Butcher piss away their lives to try and rescue you?
:'''Hughie''': Because I'd do it for them.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher and Kimiko find Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk tied up and gagged by Homelander when they break into the Vought internment camp]''
:'''Hughie''': Butcher?! Oh, fuck.
:'''Homelander''': ''[waves]'' Surprise. Welcome, William. ''[to Kimiko]'' And you. The gang is almost all here. Oh, and uh, ''[looks down at Mother's Milk]'' you never told me that this one's nickname is... Mother's Milk. ''[licks his lips; laughs]'' Okay. So, what's the big plan? What, are you gonna sandbag me with the Godolkin virus? ''[Butcher looks shocked]'' Yes. I know all about it.
:'''Kimiko''': Suck my fat dіck!
:''[Homelander lasers Kimiko in half. The top half of her body falls to the floor.]''
:'''Homelander''': Hey, where's Starlight? Just doesn't feel like a party without my little lightning bug here... ''[pause; stares at Butcher]'' Jesus Christ, William. You've got a viper's nest in there. I'd heard about it, of course. But seeing it for myself, it's uh… it–it's incredible. I mean, it's fucking disgusting of course, but it's–it's beautiful. What you've done to yourself, what you've become… and you did all that for me? ''[pause]'' Now that… ''that'' is devotion. You know, William, I know we're not exactly equals, but I'm compelled to say… you are the only one that's ever challenged me. And there's a part of me that will be sad to see you go.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A-Train gets badly injured while being chased by Homelander, who eventually catches up to him]''
:'''Homelander''': Looks like someone ''can'' catch the A-Train after all. End of the road, buddy boy.
:''[A-Train starts laughing at Homelander as he gets back up]''
:'''Homelander''': What's so funny?
:'''A-Train''': What was I so afraid of? You are… fucking nothing.
:'''Homelander''': Really?
:''[Homelander lifts A-Train and pins him against a tree]''
:'''A-Train''': ''[grunts]'' Really. You're just an empty fucking suit. Take away these powers… and what are you, huh? A pathetic… weak… sniveling fucking loser.
:''[Homelander wraps his hand around A-Train's neck and slowly chokes him. A-Train continues laughing until Homelander snaps his neck, killing him instantly.]''

===''&quot;Teenage Kix&quot;'' [5.02]===
:'''Oh Father''': We fight hellfire with holy fire! We fight with the ballot box! We fight with the ammo box! Matthew 10:34 — &quot;I do not come to bring the peace, but a sword&quot;! You are not here to be blessed, you are here to do war!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Goddammit, A-Train. It didn't need to come to this. I don't know, you left me no choice! I know that my leadership style can be stern, but it was for your own good! I like to think of myself as the big brother that you never had. You remember that girlfriend you had? Uh... Pop... Popfang. Betrayed us both, to William Butcher, no less. Huge mess, your fault. What did I do? ''What did I do?'' I gave you a chance to make things right, I reached out my hand... and you bit it! What did I ever do to deserve that? What, was I too nurturing? Too forgiving? Well, maybe. But dammit, you weren't like the others: Snakes, backstabbers. I could count on you, man. I ''did'' count on you. I loved you... but here we are. Why does this keep happening to me? I guess the strongest men are the most alone. You wouldn't understand. Nobody does.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander releases Soldier Boy from his cryogenic chamber at Vought Tower. Soldier Boy wakes up the next morning in Homelander's bedroom.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no. It's okay. It's okay, I don't wanna hurt you. You're safe, okay? You've been in deep freeze again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, Jesus Christ. For how long?
:'''Homelander''': Almost two years in a CIA black site. I just found out this morning.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You found out this morning?
:'''Homelander''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But that just happens to be in your room? ''[pause]'' Did you fuck me?
:'''Homelander''': ''[legitimately confused]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this some kind of incest thing?
:'''Homelander''': No!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Then, what the fuck is this?
:'''Homelander''': ''[stammers]'' Look, I... I want you to find William Butcher.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Find him yourself.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the people that work for me are limited. And you are the best tracker there is. I just–I need you to find him and report back. Very simple.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You want me… to work for you?
:'''Homelander''': Well, why don't we say &quot;work ''with'' me&quot;? And... I can help you. I can give you a proper comeback.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need you for that.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the whole world does think that you're a Russian spy, so…
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[takes a deep breath]'' Okay. Alright, listen to me. I'm no ass-felching Commie. You got that?!
:'''Homelander''': I know, I know. And listen, I am Vought now. Me. So, the public, they're gonna believe that you are whatever I tell them you are. I can resurrect you. I can give you back what you lost. I can even make you number two in The Seven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Number two? ''[Homelander nods]'' Or how about I finish the job, and blast you to Kingdom Fuck.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, you could try. Who knows, you might even fry the V right out of my blood. Or you might not. But I'm betting that you hate William Butcher more than you hate... me. After all, I'm–I'm not the one that betrayed you, am I?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I tried to kill you. The minute I turn my back, how do I know you won't return the favor?
:'''Homelander''': Look... 
:''[Homelander picks up Soldier Boy's shield and gives it to him]''
:'''Homelander''': You find William Butcher for me… all is forgiven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat; looks at the shield]'' Looks like a fuckin' kindergarten ashtray. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Soldier Boy, ''[points at Calhoun and Ashley]'' this is the President, Vice President of the United States of America. They work for me. Everyone, Soldier Boy is gonna be number two in The Seven once he has located William Butcher and Annie January.
:'''The Deep''': What? Wait–Wait, what, sir? No, sir. I... I can do this. I can bring them in.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, like you did with A-Train? We're going in a new direction, Deep. Competence. ''[to Calhoun]'' Oh, and Steve, Soldier Boy's gonna need a full pardon.
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, he–he was guilty of... you know, treason. ''[pause; Homelander just stares at him]'' Consider it done, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific. And you know what? I'm sure the man's dying for a drink. Uh, Steve, can you make him a…
:'''Soldier Boy''': Manhattan.
:'''Homelander''': Manhattan. Thanks, Steve.
:'''Calhoun''': Of course. Can I get you a glass of milk, sir?
:'''Homelander''': ''[sternly]'' No. Steven… I'll also have a Manhattan.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goddamn. Since when could Supes teabag the President?
:'''Homelander''': Since me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Hughie looking despondent on their way back to the Teenage Kix mansion]''
:'''Butcher''': Oi, fuckin' smile, Hughie. I mean, ain't you a little glad A-Train's dead?
:'''Hughie''': …No, I'm not glad he's dead. A-Train did a lot of horrible things, but he saved our lives, and he died a hero. A real hero. There are a lot of other Supes that don't deserve to die either.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, I know you just done a year in the gulag. You've earned your seat at the table, so... I'll give it to ya straight. You gotta knock this wet, gaping pussy shite on the head, mate. Ain't doin' no one no favours. Especially your girl. I mean, that's why she's givin' you the cold shoulder.
:'''Hughie''': Don't talk to me about Annie. You don't know what's going on with her.
:'''Butcher''': Well, I know that she finally knows the fuckin' score. And she knows that you poncin' about with this Jiminy Cricket, &quot;listen to your heart&quot; bollocks is just gonna get her killed.
:'''Hughie''': Is there any part of you left that's still human? ''[pause]'' You're gonna get Annie killed, not me… but I won't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Noted.
:''[A shield suddenly pierces the windshield of the Boys' truck. Hughie catches the virus vial right as they crash into another vehicle.]''
:'''Hughie''': Fuck!
:'''Kimiko''': Hughie, the vial!
:'''Hughie''': It's good. ''[stares at the shield]'' Wait, is that...?
:''[They see Soldier Boy walking up the street towards them]''
:'''Butcher''': Well, well, well.
:'''Kimiko''': He's dead, right? He's supposed to be dead?
:'''Butcher''': Supposed to be. Mallory put him in ice for a bit.
:'''Hughie''': ''[slowly turns to face Butcher]'' You're telling us this ''now?''
:'''Butcher''': Somebody up there likes us, mate.
:'''Hughie''': In what fucking way?!
:'''Butcher''': Well, we wanted a guinea pig. Who better than Homelander's old man? New plan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Butcher''': Oi. Ain't you supposed to be a giant ice dіldо?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Aren't you supposed to be smart? Renting a truck under the name &quot;Don T. Beakunt.&quot; Same alias when we headed to Herogasm.
:'''Butcher''': Well, oldie, but a goodie.
:''[Soldier Boy sees Hughie and Kimiko get out of the truck and run away]'' 
:'''Butcher''': No, mate. Just you and me.
:''[Soldier Boy shoots Butcher three times, but to no avail. Butcher, still standing, looks down at his chest then looks back up at Soldier Boy.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess it's true. You're one of us now.
:'''Butcher''': Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Then fuckin' beat 'em.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Being super is not gonna save you.
:'''Butcher''': That don't stop us helpin' each other. Homelander's double the cunt now, if that's even possible. He needs doin' more than ever. You still fancy his seat on The Seven, don't ya?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Fuck you! We had a deal! I held up my end of the bargain, and you sold me out. Put me back in a fucking box! And for what? 'Cause I was gonna kill some dumb kid?
:'''Butcher''': That kid is your grandson.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, was it worth it? You feeling good about that call right about now? Where is that fucking brat?
:'''Butcher''': Homelander's the one fuckin' you over, mate. Or did he mention that we've got an uber virus strong enough to kill every fuckin' Supe on the planet?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Bullshit.
:'''Butcher''': God's honest. The things this virus can do... ''Fuckin' diabolical.'' Why d'you think he sent you here instead of coming himself, hmm? You're the sacrificial cunt. Again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess we'll see.
:'''Butcher''': You don't get it, do ya? Me, Homelander, your old crew–Everyone fucks you over. Do you wanna know why? 'Cause you... are a dumb fuckin' twat.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hughie Campbell. How is a useless cock-gobbler like you still alive?
:'''Hughie''': All your jokes are about dudes blowing dudes. You're kind of obsessed!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this the virus he was going on about? The so-called &quot;Supe Killer&quot;? Well, not today, you semen-swilling butt pirate.
:'''Hughie''': What?

===''&quot;Every One of You Sons of Bitches&quot;'' [5.03]===
:''[Homelander has a psychotic breakdown and hallucinates Madelyn Stillwell appearing to him as an angel]''
:'''Homelander''': Madelyn...!
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, my boy! My sweet boy... What is wrong? Why are you unhappy?
:'''Homelander''': My father and my son! Everything, it's all falling apart!
:'''Madelyn''': No! No, it's exactly what needed to happen. Yes, it's been foretold! You're about to ascend. Become immortal. Divine. A true god with the love of the world.
:'''Homelander''': But–
:'''Madelyn''': I know, you think love is weak and human. But who is more loved than Jesus? And why should he have more love than you? You save more people than he does. The one, true god...
:'''Homelander''': Yes... But how? How? Millions of people just hate me...
:'''Madelyn''': Well, then you baptize the unfaithful in their own blood. Rip babies from their mothers' wombs.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': Skin parents in front of their children. Rid the world of the wicked.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': The nonbelievers...
:'''Homelander''': They'll call me a monster...
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, the only ones left will be your faithful. And they will love you in their hearts. They'll cry happy tears at the mere thought of you. You have one last task, my love.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Homelander?
:'''Homelander''': Up here.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What do you– ''[sees Homelander taking a bath]'' What in the fuck? Is that milk?
:'''Homelander''': Better. Breastmilk from the NICU at Mount Sinai.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So, what? You asked me up here so I could watch you swim in tit jizz?
:'''Homelander''': I wanna give you another chance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You wanna give ''me'' another chance?
:'''Homelander''': Yes. Help me find that V1.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd rather fist myself with a handful of razors. Besides, Cleopatra Jones said there's no V1 to find.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, there most certainly is. And I am going to find it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah? What makes you so sure?
:'''Homelander''': ''[smiling]'' An angel told me. It's my destiny.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Just when I thought there was a ceiling to how fuckin' weird you could get.
:'''Homelander''': Yes, yes. Make your jokes. You've been blessed with immortality, and what have you done with it? Drink and fuck yourself numb. You... You are a disappointment. You see... ''[stands up and gets out of the tub]'' I am not gonna waste my immortality. I am gonna take what's rightfully mine. I'm asking you if you want a seat at the table because you're my father. But with or without you... a reckoning is coming.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' You know, all I see is a freak. A freak with a bushel of gray pubes. Try some Just for Men.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher takes Ryan to a pub to discuss his plan to kill Homelander with the Supe virus]''
:'''Butcher''': All you do is get him on the blower and tell him you wanna see him. When he rocks up, you chuck the shit in his face... and that'll be it.
:'''Ryan''': Why me?
:'''Butcher''': 'Cause he won't leave the fortress of cuntitude for anyone else.
:'''Ryan''': So this is what you wanted to talk to me about. Killing my dad.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, mate–
:'''Ryan''': Is that all you think I'm good for?
:'''Butcher''': I ain't gonna treat you like a kid no more, alright? You're done with that. Homelander raped your mum. He's gonna burn everything down, and you are the only one who can stop him. Now... Normally, I don't put no stock in any of that bollocks about destiny, but if anyone's got one, it's you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause; sighs]'' I throw this virus at him... what'll happen to me?
:'''Butcher''': You'll die. I'll be close by and we'll go together. Now... I ain't gonna lie to you. This… this is not what your mum wanted… But it's the only way. And it will be justice.
:'''Ryan''': You're asking me to kill myself?
:'''Butcher''': You wouldn't be the first lad to throw his life away in a war... but you would be the first to save the world doin' it. ''[beat; sighs heavily]'' I'll fetch us a pint.
:''[Later, Butcher returns with a pint of beer]''
:'''Butcher''': Here. Told her you were 30. ''[Ryan chuckles]'' Fuck the leather, fuck the lace, here's to the bird who sits on yer face. ''[takes a long sip of beer]''
:'''Ryan''': Where'd you pick that up?
:'''Butcher''': Me old man.
:'''Ryan''': You two close?
:'''Butcher''': Nah, not really. He was a... a piss artist. Used to lose all his money on the gee-gees–horses–and then, he'd come home, beat the livin' daylights outta Len and me. And then later, laugh about it with his mates. Yeah, he was a right cunt.
:'''Ryan''': Where is he now?
:'''Butcher''': Bottom of the Thames. I put him there, just the other day. Only wish I'd done it sooner, before he caused more... more damage.
:'''Ryan''': Butcher... Do you think that I could ever... That I might turn into my dad?
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know.
:'''Ryan''': ''[sighs]'' My mom... Aunt Grace... the others... All I do is hurt people. I can't be around anyone.
:'''Butcher''': Without us–without Supes–the world is a better, safer place.
:'''Ryan''': ''[beat]'' I'll do it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Edgar ''': You're fighting an unbeatable foe. You know that, right?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Who? Vought?
:'''Edgar''': Please. It's more powerful than Vought. Or Homelander. More powerful than nature or life itself. It's profit and loss; supply and demand; the elegant flow of currency across the globe. We're just cogs in a great machine, and we all have our part to play. Say you kill Soldier Boy, or Homelander, or even release this virus. When superheroes go out of fashion, something else will just take their place. Because corporations must still grow. Money must still be made. The machine must still be fed. That is the way of the world.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Motherfucker. When this is all over... you're aiming to run Vought again, ain't you?
:'''Edgar''': Like I said. We all have our part to play.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[pause]'' If that day ever comes... I have a part to play, too. And that's to put a bullet in your fuckin' skull.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy and Firecracker are on her TruthBomb talkshow set preparing for their interview together]''
:'''Firecracker''': It's an honor to have a great American like yourself on the show. I guess it runs in the family, huh? Homelander's father… Dang.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks at the gun at Firecracker's hip]'' Glock, huh? Never saw the appeal in foreign-made guns.
:'''Firecracker''': Well, this ain't your granddaddy's Glock. This here's a 9mm Gen 5, seven-round capacity with a crisp fuckin' break.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, mine's a much longer barrel. ''[takes out his pistol]'' Battle-proven, all-American Colt 1911 chambered in .45 ACP. ''[cocks pistol]'' That'll blow your fuckin' panties off. Now, that little Glock–That's good for a late-night Harlem stroll, but uh, this here? That's a certified Kraut killer.
:'''Firecracker''': I think you mean an antique.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean a classic. You wanna give it a try? ''[Firecracker examines the pistol]'' Now, some can't handle the kick, but something tells me you'll do just fine.
:''[Cut to Soldier Boy and Firecracker in bed together after having sex]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Whew. Well, I gotta hand it to you. I haven't fuckеd that hard since... since I railed Shari Lewis on the balcony of Studio 54.
:'''Firecracker''': I ain't got no idea who that is.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well... Hey, why the hairless pussy?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[gives Soldier Boy a disgusted look]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean, what's the point of going down there if you're not gonna get a fat face full of fur? Is that how Homelander likes you? Like a baby?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' More like a mother.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But you two have fuckеd, right?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[shakes her head]'' Mm-mm.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Damn. I gotta admit, I was kinda just doing this as petty revenge against the freak.
:'''Firecracker''': That's terrible. Who would do such a thing? And you shouldn't say that about your son.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Ah, he thinks he's better than me.
:'''Firecracker''': He doesn't.
:'''Soldier Boy''': How do you know?
:'''Firecracker''': I don't know much, but I can read people. And the way he looks at you? Shoot. I ain't never seen him look at nobody like that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Uh, that's not exactly a compliment, doll. He is the strangest mοthеrfuckеr I've ever known, and I've had a threesome with Gary Busey.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ryan and Homelander meet up at the now-abandoned VoughtLand building]''
:'''Ryan''': Do you remember when you took me here? Pretended to care about me?
:'''Homelander''': I ''do'' care about you, son. I love you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause]'' I need to ask you–
:'''Homelander''': For my forgiveness? You already have it.
:'''Ryan''': What?
:'''Homelander''': Okay, let me finish. I put too much pressure on you to fill my boots. And–And I realize now that, uh... Well, that–that was impossible. But I do have some pretty exciting news. I am going to live forever now. I'll realize my own legacy. And you... ''[scoffs]'' you're off the hook. You can do whatever–
:'''Ryan''': Did you do it? Did you rapе my mom?
:'''Homelander''': What?! Of course not. Who told you–Did William Butcher tell you that? Your mother and I, we had an affair. A consensual affair between two adults.
:'''Ryan''': Your heart's racing.
:'''Homelander''': Well, yeah, because I'm shocked. And–And frankly, my heart's breaking a little bit that you could think I would do something like that.
:''[Ryan lasers Homelander, leaving a visible wound near his chest]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan... Ryan, stop!
:''[Ryan lunges at Homelander and shoves him against the wall. Homelander ducks below Ryan's fist to avoid getting punched by him.]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan! I don't know where this is coming from, because your mother… ''She'' came on to ''me.''
:''[Ryan punches Homelander twice and tries to laser him again. Homelander quickly dodges him again.]''
:'''Homelander''': ''Ryan!'' Son... ''[moves away to avoid another punch]'' Ryan! Ryan, buddy... Look what came out of it: My son! A blessing! ''[Ryan attacks him again]'' Hey, hey! Stop!
:''[Ryan readies another laser, which gets redirected when Homelander grabs his face. He punches Homelander in the face again, but Homelander gets the upper hand and slams Ryan several times into a box. Homelander wipes blood away from his nose as Ryan whimpers in pain.]''
:'''Homelander''': Oh, Ryan... Dammit. Look at what you made me do. ''[pause; kneels down to restrain Ryan]'' Shh... Shh, shh, shh. Hey... It's okay. My sweet, sweet boy.
:''[Homelander proceeds to punch Ryan repeatedly in the face until he is beaten nearly to death]''

===''&quot;King of Hell&quot;'' [5.04]===
:'''Homelander''': I need you for something.
:'''Firecracker''': You do?
:'''Homelander''': I have received the most wonderful message. I was visited... by an angel. And she foretold my destiny.
:'''Firecracker''': Wow. Well, praise be. And what is it?
:'''Homelander''': God.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, that is wonderful. There is no higher calling than servin' the Lord.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. Not serving the Lord. Being the Lord. I am the Messiah. I'm the savior of the world.
:'''Firecracker''': The... Messiah?
:'''Homelander''': Yes.
:''[Firecracker smiles despite her being clearly disturbed by Homelander's delusions]''
:'''Firecracker''': Um... Congrats.
:'''Homelander''': Thank you. ''[pause; Firecracker giggles nervously]'' I always knew I was special. I knew it. I suffered. I suffered so many hardships, and I... I couldn't understand why, but you... You... You always saw it, didn't you? You knew all along I was special. That is why I have chosen you to spread the word of my coming.
:'''Firecracker''': How?
:'''Homelander''': Well, we control the most powerful media apparatus on Earth. Jesus would kill for our marketing. What do you say?
:'''Firecracker''': ...Well, you know I would do anything for you, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys are hiking through the woods near Fort Harmony]''
:'''Kimiko''': It's weird. No birds or animals. It's like…
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. ''[to Mother's Milk]'' Had to park on the other side of the state, didn't ya?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Well, if the hike's too hard, why don't you try tying your boots, mοthеrfuckеr.
:''[Hughie is shocked to see a heavily decomposed corpse]''
:'''Hughie''': Oh, fuck that.
:'''Butcher''': Eh. Not really my type, son.
:'''Hughie''': Hey, how about showing a little respect?
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, Hughie's right, Butcher. You should take her out to dinner first. ''[chuckles; sighs]'' Let's see here. Based on the decomp, these bodies have been here for a while.
:'''Frenchie''': Something ripped them apart. Whatever killed those Boy Scouts might still stalk these woods.
:'''Butcher''': Let's get a move on, then. Didn't come out here to get bummed by Bigfoot.
:''[...]''
:'''Butcher''': Any sign of Super Cunt?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Could already be inside.
:'''Butcher''': Well, let's find out.
:'''Kimiko''': ''[to Hughie]'' What's wrong?
:'''Hughie''': Annie.
:'''Kimiko''': She'll come back.
:'''Hughie''': No. I almost died, but she made it all about her and she took off. I mean, last year, I got bad-touched by a shape-shifter, and she still found a way to make it about her. She can be such a fucking bitch. ''[pause; sees Kimiko looking at him in shock]'' Uh... Jesus. Sorry, I–I didn't mean for that to come out so harsh.
:''[The Boys see an entire field littered with animal carcasses]''
:'''Butcher''': ''Fuckin' hell.''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck happened here?
:'''Frenchie''': Our V'd-up beast enjoyed an amuse-bouche, perhaps?
:'''Butcher''': Well, explains why we didn't hear no animals.
:'''Kimiko''': I said that ten minutes ago.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys discover more decomposed corpses as they make their way downstairs to the lab inside Fort Harmony]''
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. They've been here a minute, haven't they?
:'''Frenchie''': Decades. Hunters... ''[pause; notices the knives embedded in the corpses]'' Look at their knives. These men, they killed each other. What if there is a monster here, but it's us?
:'''Butcher''': What the fuck are you on about, Frenchie?
:'''Frenchie''': [[w:Toxoplasma gondii|Toxoplasmosis]]. It's a parasite in cat shit. It can infect humans. Makes them react with explosive anger.
:'''Hughie''': You think we ate cat shit?
:'''Frenchie''': Ate? No... If the V1 spilled into the groundwater, it could mutate the plants. Their spores fill us with rage, we murder each other, and ''voilà''. We're plant food for these vines.
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so like [[w:The Last of Us (video game)|''The Last of Us'']]?
:'''Frenchie''': No, that is just [[w:The Walking Dead (comic book)|''The Walking Dead'']] with mushrooms. The dead campers, the animals, these hunters... Surely, you all see how strangely you've been acting.
:'''Kimiko''': Us? I've seen you blow cоcaіnе up your dіckhole.
:'''Frenchie''': Wait... You have a point. The copious amount of drug I've taken for decades has surely altered my brain chemistry. That's why I'm not affected. 
:'''Kimiko''': Guess being a junkie was good for something after all.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Romeo and fuckin' Juliet. You two survive this war, I give you six months tops.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy search the ground floor of Fort Harmony while the Boys are in the basement below looking for the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sniffs]'' Smells like deer piss. The last time I was here, I was fresh off the front lines, still picking Nazi brains out of my hair. And only the best of the best got selected for Dr. Vought's trials.
:'''Homelander''': Hmmph.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Not soft little hog-chompers.
:'''Homelander''': Of course. No, I forgot how tough you were.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hey, I'm not the weirdo who doesn't fuck. I mean, your cock's as useless as your cape. What's the point of being famous if you're not getting your dіck wet?
:'''Homelander''': Oh, my dіck was sopping wet when I pulled it out of Stormfront and wiped it on her fucking chin!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; looks down at the decomposed corpses]'' Ooh, look. More uggos. 
:'''Homelander''': Friends of yours?
:''[They unknowingly set off the motion detector that the Boys set up near the stairs]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Oh, shit. They're right above us.
:'''Butcher''': We best get the fuck outta here. Come on.
:'''Hughie''': Hey. Hey, what about the V1?
:'''Mother's Milk''': If Bombsight has the V1, then it saves us from having to torch it.
:'''Hughie''': What are you talking about? Who's &quot;us&quot;?
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' What? You think the world needs more immortal cunts, do ya?
:'''Hughie''': We need it to save Annie and Kimiko! You've been planning this this whole time, haven't you?!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh. Homelander will hear us.
:'''Hughie''': ''[to Mother's Milk]'' And you, you've just been going along with it again.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We can't take the risk, Hughie. And if she has to be collateral damage so that Homelander dies and my daughter lives, we ain't got no fucking choice!
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, easy for you to say. It won't fucking kill you!
:'''Butcher''': Well, at least he knows when to keep his gob shut and do as he's fuckin' told!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Excuse me?
:'''Frenchie''': No, no, no. We don't have time for this. We need to find a way out now.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Wanna know a little secret, Butcher? I ''cheered'' when I found out that you were dying, 'cause at least we'd finally be done with your miserable ass.
:'''Hughie''': You know, I used to say to these guys, &quot;Don't give up on Butcher. There's good in him fighting to get out.&quot; I was wrong. If there was ''anything'' human in there, it's dead. Underneath that chestful of octo-cocks, you are just a fucking monster.
:'''Butcher''': Well, maybe I like it better that way.
:'''Hughie''': That parasite's not just in you. It ''is'' you. ''You're'' the cancer!
:'''Frenchie''': ''Lower your voices.''
:'''Hughie''': You are just as bad as Homelander, maybe worse. And I'm not gonna let you drag us all down with you.
:'''Butcher''': And whatcha gonna do about it?
:'''Hughie''': I'll fucking kill you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': ''[chuckles]'' Tough guy, my ass.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What?
:'''Homelander''': You, your whole bit. This whole &quot;guts and glory&quot; thing. What a fucking joke. I read your classified file. Your brother won a Silver Star for bravery at [[w:Battle of Anzio|Anzio]], and that's what made you beg your father to buy you a spot in Dr. Vought's trials. Because it killed you to see your brother dripping in all that glory, making you look all the more feeble in comparison.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't know shit about me.
:'''Homelander''': Really? I know that when they tried to inject you with the V, you were so fucking petrified that they had to strap you to the table. And you pissed yourself, crying for your mommy like the whiny, spoiled little rich boy that you are. They gave you the world, and you? You deserve ''nothing.''
:''[Soldier Boy stands by as Homelander walks into a small chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Oh, Christ. What's this shithole now?
:''[Soldier Boy shuts the door while Homelander isn't looking and turns the wheel to lock him inside the chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': What are you doing?!
:''[Soldier Boy bends the wheel with his bare hands and tears it off the door]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, well done. I'll be out of here in 30 seconds!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. Maybe not.
:''[Soldier Boy pulls down a lever to open a radioactive valve. Homelander's face immediately starts blistering from the radiation.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': It's enriched uranium. They'd stick us Supes in there to see if we could survive an atomic bomb. Now, for a normal joe, they'd be dead in minutes. But for you, it's a stomach flu. Good luck, though, getting out of a Supe-proof cell while you're bleeding out of your ass.
:''[Homelander fails to kill Soldier Boy by lasering him. He punches the glass as Soldier Boy walks off.]''
:'''Homelander''': Where are you going?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'm gonna go destroy any V1 that I find, you Triple Crown cock jockey.
:'''Homelander''': Why?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't get it, do you? How much I can't fucking stand you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Homelander trapped inside the uranium chamber]''
:'''Butcher''': ''[laughs]'' Oh, if only the world could see you now. Not so fuckin' super, are ya? You, uh... ''[points at Homelander's face]'' You got a bit of... ''[pause; Homelander coughs]'' Did your dad put you in timeout? Ooh… That's gotta sting, knowin' he'd rather spend eternity all alone than with the likes of you. What's the matter? Cunt got your tongue? Will wonders ever cease? ''[chuckles; lights cigarette]'' Tell me something. If you do get the juice in you, you think that makes you a god, don't ya? Seems like I know you pretty well after all. Which is why I know that even if you had a billion twats garglin' your bollocks and singin' &quot;Hosanna&quot;, you still wouldn't be happy. 'Cause deep down, you're just a weak, thin-skinned, needy little boy. You beat the shit outta your own son. Don't get weaker than that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs weakly while groaning in pain]'' Ryan is alive… because he's strong. 'Cause he's my son. The son of God.
:'''Butcher''': You ain't no god. How's about I go fetch the virus, and then we'll watch you shit your fuckin' spine out?
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You don't have it, do you? The virus.
:'''Butcher''': …Don't I?
:'''Homelander''': No, you don't. You would have used it by now. ''[coughs; laughs hysterically]'' You have no way to stop me, do you? Oh, William. You have no idea what you're up against. You can't intervene. I ''will'' get the V1, and when I do, I'm gonna flay you alive. You, Starlight–All the nonbelievers. You're all gonna ''fuckin' drown'' in your own blood.
:'''Butcher''': I promise you, before I die... I'll fuckin' have you. ''[walks away]''
:'''Homelander''': YOU'RE ALL FUCKING PASTE! I can take what's mine, and that makes this WHOLE FUCKING SHITBALL ''MY BIRTHRIGHT! '''MY DESTINY!'''''

===''&quot;One-Shots&quot;'' [5.05]===
:'''Firecracker''': Next up is a $500 million ad blitz with OOH, e-blasts, print and digital. Ain’t nobody won’t know about the Democratic Church of America… and its chosen prophet.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Prophets are servants.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course, sir. Great point. We’re just trying to ease people into it.
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no. We need to prepare America for my ascension. We must be honest. We must be direct. I like “savior.” Or–Or…
:'''Oh Father''': Lord. Yes, I couldn’t agree more, sir. Religion is not about being meek. We should dominate the seven mountains of society, bring the Kingdom of Heaven to Earth! Amen!
:'''Homelander''': Amen.
:'''Firecracker''': Amen! I love all that!
:'''The Deep''': So fucking dope.
:'''Oh Father''': Easter is just around the corner. How perfect would it be for your second coming to come on the day of Jesus' resurrection?
:'''Homelander''': Mmm… Second coming? Let's be clear: I am not the son of God.
:'''Oh Father''': Well, of course. Many people believe that Jesus is both God incarnate and the son.
:'''Homelander''': Well, that's just confusing. I don't want my church getting involved in all... that.
:'''Firecracker''': Exactly. Besides, if we pull up our timeline, you won't have… ''[picks up a bag with a large book inside]'' this.
:''[Firecracker kneels in front of Homelander, who accepts the book. He takes it out of the bag and sees &quot;The Homelander Bible&quot; with himself embossed on the cover.]''
:'''Oh Father''': We're gonna drag our feet because of a book?
:'''Firecracker''': Not a book. ''The'' book. The Homelander Bible.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause; lifts the book with his hands]'' Heavy.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[quietly]'' What the fuck?
:'''Firecracker''': It's got the Old Testament, the New Testament, and the brand new American Testament, written by A.I. trained on the works of Pat Robertson. See, we need to pass the torch, sir. From Jesus to you. Sir, we don't get more than one chance at a first impression. Are we really gonna rush something this important? We ain't [w:Arby's|Arby's]], after all.
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Firecracker''': We're the [[w:The Cheesecake Factory|Cheesecake Factory]].
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs deeply]'' Okay. We'll do it your way.
:'''Firecracker''': Thank you.
:'''Sister Sage''': You do realize this kind of sudden religious upheaval is likely to generate widespread civil unrest?
:'''Firecracker''': Local law should be able to handle the suburbs, but we could use extra hands in major metros.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, let's recall all Supes stationed overseas. American heroes should be protecting America, not Who-Gives-A-Fuckistan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Firecracker''': We ain't doin' that again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[chuckles]'' That's what you said the last six times.
:'''Firecracker''': No, I really mean it this time.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You seem a little out of it. Did you nut? 'Cause usually, you nut.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' Were you baptized?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah, in front of half of Chestnut Hill. Governor Sproul did the honors. My family kept up appearances, of course. Then, we never set foot in church again.
:'''Firecracker''': I had lunch today with the reverend who baptized me. He's been gettin' heat to switch over to our church. You think Homelander might be open to going easy on him? Just... give him a little more time? I wouldn't ask if it was just anybody, but that man practically raised me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So you didn't nut. You know, this whole Homelander as God shit, it's... it's fucking ridiculous.
:'''Firecracker''': Really? You think so?
:'''Soldier Boy''': If he's the second coming, then what does that make me? Joseph? I mean, talk about the biggest cuck in history. Man trades his best cow to bag some hot-ass virgin, and then God comes and squirts his baby gravy up her meat wallet. Fuck that.
:'''Firecracker''': I guess I've been struggling with where to place Homelander in my heart in relation to Jesus and the Lord.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course I worship Homelander. I mean, he's always been a god to me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Look, I'll tell you this. If there is a God... sure as hell didn't come out of my balls. I gotta go.
:'''Firecracker''': Where you off to?
:'''Soldier Boy''': L.A… ''[snickers]'' I fucking hate L.A.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker is filming her new episode of TruthBomb and starts reading her opening monologue from a teleprompter]''
:'''Firecracker''': Welcome to ''Truthbomb''. Our top story tonight's a personal one. It's the story of my hometown church, Holy Baptist of Daytona. It was the church I grew up in. Sang my hymns from the pews there every Sunday. But that church... That church…
:''[The teleprompter stops scrolling]''
:'''Firecracker''': ''[beat]'' That church... has become a hotbed of Starlighter infestation. And my old pastor, Reverend Greg Dupree, has been infected by Starlight's seditious propaganda. Now... I never told a soul this, but when I was a little girl, the reverend regularly had me over for supper. Alone. ''[pause; chuckles]'' No. Nothing ever happened to me, but... ''[sighs]'' I heard stories about his &quot;Fish Fry Fridays.&quot; And if that ain't code for child groomin', I don't know what is. How much longer are we gonna let these institutional pedo churches diddle our babies? Americans deserve better. They deserve... Homelander. They deserve the Democratic Church of America. ''[starts crying]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Would you like some knee pads?
:'''The Deep''': Sorry, what?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're looking at me like you wanna suck my hog. So I'm asking you if you would like some knee pads.
:'''Homelander''': Go easy on the little guy. He brought me Stan Edgar.
:'''The Deep''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Homelander''': You may leave.
:''[Soldier Boy stays behind with Homelander in the conference room as the rest of The Seven leave]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What crawled up your shithole?
:'''Homelander''': No idea what you mean.
:'''Soldier Boy''': When you're pissy, you tend to make everybody else's lives pissy too. Stan Edgar still stonewalling you?
:'''Homelander''': I've talked to him three times now. Says he has no idea where the V1 is. Heart rate steady as a rock. I'm starting to believe him.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That slippery fuck used to fetch my cоcaіnе. ''[pause]'' You know what? I have an idea. Why don't I take a crack at him? ''[Homelander stares at him]'' What, you don't trust me?
:'''Homelander''': Well, you did lock me in a room with nuclear material and tried to stop me getting the V1, so I'm sure you can understand my hesitance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You could've killed me at Fort Harmony, but you didn't. Maybe I feel like I owe you.
:'''Homelander''': Or maybe you're lying.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. ''[inhales deeply]'' Give me an hour. I'll meet you at Edgar's cell.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hughie''': If you and M.M. still think–
:'''Butcher''': Oh, for fuck's sakes, Hughie. Knock it off with this V1 shite! You're doin' me fuckin' head in! ''[sees his dog Terror eating out of the trash]'' Oi, Terror. Cut it out. Come on. ''[to Hughie]'' Now, listen. If we do find that stuff, we're not makin' any fuckin' vaccines out of it, alright? We're not the department of fuckin' health. We burn that shit before Homelander gets his paws on it, and that's that.
:'''Hughie''': Well, if you wanna kill yourself, knock yourself out, but why do you have to decide for the rest of us?
:'''Butcher''': Oh, 'cause I'm fuckin' right! 'Cause I've always been right! I've been tellin' you lot from the fuckin' start the sky is fallin', and guess what? The sky fuckin' fell.
:'''Hughie''': Well, you kinda helped bring it down.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, don't give me that bollocks. Listen, Homelander thinks he's a fuckin' god. Once he becomes immortal, he's gonna start killin' like one, and we are talkin' millions of people. Now, are you tellin' me you're honestly happy to risk all of that for a life on the run with your girl, knowin' that you could've stopped it? You can live with that, can ya?
:'''Hughie''': What if it was Becca? You'd just let her die?
:'''Butcher''': …I ''did'' let her die.
:'''Hughie''': Look… I know that Homelander comes first. I really do. All I'm asking is that we try. Annie and Kimiko deserve that much.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mister Marathon and Malchemical try to convince Soldier Boy to kill Homelander while he is unconscious]''
:'''Mister Marathon''': Hey, man, we don't have a problem with you. Honest, ''[stutters]'' but–but fuck this fucking guy. You know, he fuckеd my life. Look, if you help us get rid of him, then we all win, and you–you can have The Seven. And I don't even, like, really care if you bring me back or whatever.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need to kill him to get The Seven.
:'''Mister Marathon''': No. Yeah, of course not, but what about all that creepy shit he's doing with that church? I mean, they're rounding up everybody cool. All the hοοkers, the drug dealers.
:'''Malchemical''': They wanna ban pοrn. I mean, they wanna ban fucking abortions!
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay, well, banning abortion would be a big problem for me personally.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Exactly, for all of us. So, if we kill him, we can stop worrying about being cops or gods or asexual weirdos. You know, we can go back to fucking and–and being fucking awesome!
:'''Malchemical''': Look, we know you've got that fucked-up chest blast thing. I mean, I was at Herogasm. I saw it.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Just finish him now. Take away his powers, so we can curb stomp him while we have the chance. 
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' He is a fucking asexual weirdo.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Malchemical''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But as much as it pains me to say this, he's ''my'' fucking asexual weirdo. Nobody fucks my son but me.
:'''Mister Marathon''': What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …That came out wrong.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker sees Homelander sitting on the couch in the Seven common room]''
:'''Firecracker''': Homelander… How was L.A.? Did you catch tonight's ''Truthbomb?''
:'''Homelander''': I did indeed. And it was a real barn-burner. Well done.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[smiles]'' Thank you, sir. That means the world.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' How's sеx with my father? ''[Firecracker's smile disappears]'' Is he good at it? Are you thinking about me when you're making love to him?
:'''Firecracker''': I never meant to cross a line or offend you in...
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Don't fret, little one. I don't care about the sеx, really. But I ''do'' care about your little chats after sеx.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, whatever Soldier Boy told you, I can assure you that I...
:'''Homelander''': You mean your inner turmoil when it comes to me and, uh, Jesus? Are you thinking of Jesus when you're praising me?
:'''Firecracker''': No, you are my one and only savior.
:'''Homelander''': You say that, but your jagged little heart is whirring like a hummingbird. ''[sighs; gets up from the couch]'' You're supposed to worship me, love me and me alone.
:'''Firecracker''': I do.
:'''Homelander''': I believed in you. Turns out, you don't believe in me. ''[pause]'' I need you to collect your things and leave.
:'''Firecracker''': But I ''do'' believe in you. I love you! I am the only one here who ever has! I gave you ''everything!'' I gave you my soul! Everybody else here, they're just... They're just scared of you. Or they want something from you, but I have always loved you for you. Just the strongest, smartest, best man on Earth.
:'''Homelander''': ''[scoffs]'' Man?
:'''Firecracker''': No, no, no, no, no. A god. No. No, ''the'' God. My Lord, that look you used to get when you'd suckle me? I felt like Mother Mary herself. I felt blessed to nourish someone as important as you. ''[pause; Homelander sighs]'' But nothing I ever did was good enough, was it? You cast me out into the cold, which was so much worse than never feeling your warmth in the first place. So all I have been tryin' to do is to get you to see me the way that you used to. Hell, only reason I was with Soldier Boy was that your reflected light is better than no light at all. Please, sir. I love you. We all need love, don't we? Even God.
:''[Homelander reaches his hand out to touch Firecracker's cheek, then kills her by impaling her head on the left wing of an eagle statue]''

===''&quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;'' [5.06]===
:''[Hughie and Annie are laying down on the hood of his car looking at clouds together]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so that one?
:'''Annie''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Hughie''': It’s like a rabbit, but it’s got way too many feet.
:'''Annie''': Really? I see a frog eating a dick. This is definitely in my top five.
:'''Hughie''': Top five what?
:'''Annie''': Things to do with you.
:'''Hughie''':  You’re saying that like… this is the last time we’re gonna get to do this. Hey, listen to me. The guys are gonna find Bombsight, they’ll get the V1. You’re not dying. We will have plenty of time to look for filthy shapes in the clouds.
:'''Annie''': God, I don’t know where it comes from. This… unshakeable hope.
:'''Hughie''': Whenever I’d get upset as a kid, which was a lot… my dad would always say, “You know, son, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react.” And that was infuriating. But then, I spent a year in an internment camp, and I had no control over anything. I’d just lay there at night, just… so fucking angry, hearing my dad’s voice in my head… but then I finally understood what he meant. ‘Cause the only thing I had left was… hope. And it is ''really'' fucking hard to hang on to, but I… I’m trying.
:'''Annie''': I think… you might be low-key the strongest person I know.
:'''Hughie''': I’d prefer high-key… ''[Annie chuckles]'' but thank you.
:'''Annie''': ''[beat; points at the sky]'' Look, it’s–it’s Big Bird eating a dick.
:'''Hughie''': You see an unsettling amount of dicks up there, I’m just saying.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy look around Bombsight's empty house to find the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': You sure this is the right address?
:'''Homelander''': I'm sure.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, there's no sign of Bombsight... or fucking anyone. Maybe Crime Analytics got a bad tip.
:''[Homelander sees a laptop on the table. When he opens it up, a video of him and Stormfront having sex starts playing. He notices Soldier Boy watching along with him and closes the laptop.]'' 
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck was that?
:'''Homelander''': I can explain.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That was Clara. You told me she killed herself.
:'''Homelander''': She did, after Ryan did ''that'' to her. It's his fault.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So then what? You locked her in your apartment like some kind of amputee fuck doll...
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ...and filmed her for kicks?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no! It wasn't like that! I did... I did everything I could to keep her alive, to–to make her happy. ''[pause; Soldier Boy punches him]'' Just listen to me, okay?! It wasn't all like... that. I couldn't let her go. I didn't know how... because I loved her. And so did you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're goddamn right I loved her.
:'''Homelander''': She wouldn't want us fighting over her.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Don't fucking tell me what she would want! You knew her for five minutes; I was with her for decades! 
:'''Homelander''': Hold–Hold on. This–This is a setup. Someone's trying to separate us. This has been plan... Fucking Sage. It's Sage. You see? She's trying to screw with us. ''[Soldier Boy turns around to leave]'' Oh, come on! I can't find the V1 without you!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; turns back around]'' Good. You don't deserve to live forever.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher tries to call Bombsight using one of his old phone numbers, but gets a fax machine instead]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': That a fuckin’ fax machine?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, it’s the last of the numbers she had for him. ''[to Golden Geisha]'' Oi. Twenty-three fuckin' numbers you had for Bombsight, and they’re all fuckin' shite?
:'''Golden Geisha''': Do you know how to delete them? I was telling you the truth. I have no idea where Bombsight is, or how to reach him. So just let me go.
:'''Butcher''': Kimiko, keep an eye on her.
:''[Frenchie joins Butcher and M.M. on their way back to their hideout]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck do we do now?
:'''Butcher''': Fetch us some pliers and put the screws to her. She knows more than she’s lettin’ on.
:'''Frenchie''': Or she doesn’t. I’m sorry, but she’s not that good of an actress.
:''[M.M. and Frenchie draw their weapons when they see Sister Sage inside]''
:'''Sister Sage''': He’s right. ''[sarcastically]'' Ooh, I know. The villain switching sides in the final hour. What a twist, a shock that never happens. But unclench those assholes, fellas. I’m here to help. I’m a free agent now. I came alone. You can shoot me in the heart whenever you like.
:'''Butcher''': That’s a good idea. ''[takes out and cocks his gun]''
:'''Sister Sage''': That would go against our mutual interest.
:'''Butcher''': Which is?
:'''Sister Sage''': Stopping a petulant, laser-eyed narcissist from also becoming immortal. I want him dead as much as you do.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You spent the last couple of years building Homelander up, and now you wanna tear him down? Why the fuck should we trust you?
:'''Sister Sage''': You can’t trust me. Honestly, you shouldn’t, but you will.
:'''Frenchie''': And why would we do that?
:'''Sister Sage''': I know Campbell and Starlight are headed to plant your little virus. You can trace anyone, if you know what to look for. And you baboons, you leave a trail of banana peels wherever you go. I could have stopped you, I could have killed you... but I didn’t.
:'''Butcher''': That virus is gonna wipe out the fuckin’ lot of ya. And you don’t strike me as the suicide type.
:'''Sister Sage''': I will be in my nice, quiet bunker, reading [[w:Ludwig Wittgenstein|Wittgenstein]] in peace. That is, unless that bleached blonde baby gets his hands on V1 and survives. You must have realized by now Granny out there has no clue how to contact Bombsight, but I do. And I can get him here. So... let me help.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': I wanted to say... I'm very sorry about this. I watched every episode of ''Undercover Geisha'' when I was a kid. I loved it, even the parts that were ridiculous racist stereotypes. It meant so much to see someone who looked like me on TV. ''[brief pause]'' We watched with Japanese subtitles. It's how I learned English.
:'''Golden Geisha''': If you're such a big fan, let me go.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Désolé'', but we cannot. Not until we get the V1 that Bombsight possesses.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Wait, that's what you're after? V1? ''[laughs]''
:'''Kimiko''': What–What's so funny?
:'''Golden Geisha''': I'll tell Bombsight to just give it to you. I sure as hell don't want it.
:'''Kimiko''': ...He stole the V1 for you, so you two could be together forever. ''[pause]'' But you didn't take it.
:'''Golden Geisha''': ''[shakes her head]'' I said no... which is why he left. I guess, for him, watching me get old was too painful.
:'''Frenchie''': I'm sorry, I do not understand. Why won't you take it?
:'''Golden Geisha''': To live forever? It'd be torture. ''[scoffs]'' You're both so young. You wouldn't understand.
:'''Kimiko''': Maybe I would.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Summer is only beautiful when you know winter is coming.
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Kimiko]'' Is this how you feel?
:'''Kimiko''': ''[nods]'' Annie and I talked about it. We'd have to... ''[signing]'' We'd have to watch you and Hughie waste away. Neither of us wants to die, but... we don't wanna be vampires either. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Legend leads Homelander inside the Boys' hideout, which is deserted]''
:'''The Legend''': Okay, um... 
:'''Homelander''': No one here.
:'''The Legend''': I grant you, it–it looks like that, yeah. But this–this is their hideout, so I'm sure there's plenty of clues all over here. ''[picks up a receipt]'' Here you go. ''[Homelander sighs]'' Oh, no. Well, this is nothing. But, you know, they have to have left something behind, you know?
:'''Homelander''': ''[looks at the receipt; chuckles]'' Hmmph. It's not nothing.
:'''The Legend''': It's a Taco Bell receipt. 
:'''Homelander''': No, ''this is Sage!'' Taunting me! 
:'''The Legend''': Okay.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs frustratingly; sits on bed]'' This makes no sense. This makes no sense. This makes no sense! ''[chuckles]'' You said I would get the V1. You said I'd be a god. Did I do something wrong? Did I fail you? I did everything you asked me to. I gave my boy up. Please, don't leave me here to just rot. Don't just let me become ''nothing'' like ''him.'' Please…
:'''The Legend''': I gotta assume… The only reason you're saying all this stuff is, you're... You're not gonna let me walk out of here alive, are you? Yeah? Okay. Yeah. ''[pause]'' Alright, look, kid. I've been around a long time and I… This is just how it goes. You know all those old Supes at the home? Every one of them had their moments in the sun and they all thought it was gonna go on forever. And every one of them got shoved out in the end. They all got shoved out. All of them. And I know what I'm talking about; I did the shoving. I mean, look at Goldie. One minute, she's on the set of ''Undercover Geisha'', getting finger-popped by Lorenzo Lamas. The next, she's shilling for VoughtAlert necklaces and Activia poop yogurt.
:'''Homelander''': Geisha sells VoughtAlert necklaces?
:'''The Legend''': Guess you don't watch your own news channel. The point is, look, there comes a day… I got shoved out, too. Never saw it coming. Did not see that coming, and I fought it like hell. But in the end... bupkis. There is a natural order to things. And the more you fight the inevitable, the more the inevitable just… cunt-punts you. ''[pats Homelander's shoulder]'' Yep.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; gets up]'' You're not scared of me.
:'''The Legend''': No, I'm not scared of you. I… I feel for you, kid. I do. I mean, you're a fucking whackjob. But, you know, there's talent. So… No surprise there. ''[pause]'' So, there you go. Do what you gotta do.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' ...You can go.
:'''The Legend''': I–I can go?
:'''Homelander''': Leave. No words. Just go. Now. Go. ''Now.''
:'''The Legend''': Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
:''[After The Legend leaves the Boys' hideout, Homelander makes a call on his cell phone]''
:'''Operator''': How can I help you, sir? 
:'''Homelander''': I need the tracking coordinates for a VoughtAlert necklace.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Tough skin or not, I can still break your fucking neck!
:'''Bombsight''': Ben, stop. Please.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; lets Bombsight go]'' Goddammit.
:'''Bombsight''': ''[beat]'' I can't give it to you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goldie doesn't even wanna take it.
:'''Bombsight''': Then maybe someday, I'll find someone who will!
:'''Soldier Boy''': You were always gonna fuck it up with Goldie anyway. You could never hold down a girl! It was either a smack needle up your dick or— 
:'''Bombsight''': Having to stand next to you? You were everyone's favorite from the start, especially Clara. Everything they wanted us to be, everything they were working towards, they saw it in you. I fucking hated you for it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No. No, I wasn't everything Clara wanted. I didn't know how to be.
:'''Bombsight''': But you loved her. What wouldn't you give to have her back... forever?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …I really fuckin' hate you.
:'''Bombsight''': No shit.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But we don't have to kill each other. I can take away your immortality... and your powers. You won't have to live forever alone. Then, you and Goldie can spend whatever time you have left like you want.
:'''Bombsight''': Why would you do that for me?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd do it for the V1.
:''[Bombsight hands a case to Soldier Boy, who opens it to find a V1 syringe inside. The Boys hear an explosion from far away and run towards it. Cut to Bombsight looking at the wound near his shoulder.]''
:'''Bombsight''': This is the first time I've seen my blood in... I can't remember.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander finds Soldier Boy with the V1 syringe he received from Bombsight. The Boys and Sister Sage watch them from the nearby woods.]''
:'''Homelander''': Don't. I don't wanna fight you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks down at the syringe]'' You know, Clara used to say the craziest shit. That I was the strongest Supe alive, the ultimate expression of what we could be... but she was wrong. ''[pause]'' She hadn't met you yet.
:''[Soldier Boy offers the syringe to Homelander, who accepts it]''
:'''Butcher''': No.
:'''Sister Sage''': I don't understand. He wasn't supposed to... It's impossible.
:'''Homelander''': But you hate me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I love her more... and this is what she would want.
:''[Homelander lasers his left arm and injects the V1 into his wound. His eyes immediately start flickering and he kneels to the ground in pain. The Boys watch in horror as Homelander screams and shoots powerful lasers into the sky.]''
:'''Butcher''': '''''Run.'''''

===''&quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;'' [5.07]===
:''[A V1-empowered Homelander sits in President Calhoun's chair in the Oval Office. He hears a knock at the door]''
:'''Homelander''': Come in! ''[in a cheerful tone, as Ashley and Calhoun enter]'' Hello, you two. Isn't it a beautiful day?
:'''Calhoun''': ''[nervously]'' You're welcome to use this office as long as you need. 
:'''Homelander''': I know. Let's get right to it! While Oh Father is hard at work on my divine unveiling, I have a few action items I need you to handle.
:'''Ashley''': Of course. Anything, sir.
:'''Homelander''': The Democratic Church of America is to be the ''official'' national religion, based around the one true god: Me. 
:'''Calhoun''': Great idea.
:'''Homelander''': I want every boundary between church and state dissolved. I want troops sent into every sanctuary city that took in Starlighters. Issue an executive order banning abortion. Also, breastfeeding is now mandatory. Babies need their mothers, not fake milk. Actually, outlaw that, too.
:'''Ashley''': Sir? 
:'''Homelander''': ''[intensely] Ban nut milk.'' The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was making you think nuts were milk. ''[snickers after a short silence]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': Those are all, uh, fantastic ideas, sir, um... I'll run them by Congress– 
:'''Homelander''': No, disband it.
:'''Calhoun''': Sorry? 
:'''Homelander''': Disband Congress. It's better for freedom. 
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, I don't really have that authority. 
:'''Homelander''': ''[frowns]'' Ashley, do me a favor. Read Steven's mind. I want to know if he's a true believer. 
:'''Calhoun''': But of... course I am, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific! Then you have nothing to worry about. ''[gets up and steps over to Ashley]'' Do it. 
:''[He rips off her wig, and she gasps and covers her face in shame as &quot;Back Ashley&quot; is revealed]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': ''[revolted]'' What the fuck is that? 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': Don't look!
:'''Homelander''': Don't make me ask again. 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': ''[stammering in fear]'' Sir, I–I... Sir, I...
:'''Ashley''': ''[sighs; steels herself and turns back to Homelander]'' He's terrified of you, sir. He thinks you're just a tiny bit psychotic.
:'''Homelander''': Steven! ''[steps towards Calhoun, glaring intensely]'' Here I am. A living god. ''[rests his hands on Calhoun's shoulders]'' Right before your eyes. And still, your faith wavers? ''[beat; Calhoun is clearly too terrified to answer]'' It's okay. No, I'm not angry. ''[clasps his head gently]'' But I ''am'' disappointed.
:''[He crushes Calhoun's head into a pulp, then wipes the blood off his hands on a sofa. An utterly terrified Ashley stares at Calhoun's body as Homelander sits back down at the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie sees Kimiko suffering from radiation exposure inside a homemade uranium chamber while Butcher and Frenchie watch]''
:'''Hughie''': What the fuck is going on in here?
:'''Kimiko''': I'm okay.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' The second she's ready, we go the next dose, alright?
:'''Hughie''': &quot;Next dose?&quot; Are you kidding?! Look at her! What are you doing?
:'''Butcher''': Plan fuckin' B, my son. If at first you don't succeed, find another hole to fuck. See, Soldier Boy's flashy tіt blast got me thinkin', he–he weren't born with that power. The Ivans gave it to him through a consistent application of scientific methodology.
:'''Frenchie''': They threw an atom bomb worth of radiation at him.
:'''Butcher''': Right. So, usin' the research we nicked from 'em a few donkeys back, me and Frenchie are doin' the same thing to Kimiko. She gets Soldier Boy's power, she tіt-blasts Homelander, bees and fuckin' honey.
:'''Hughie''': So when we kept asking what you two were up to, and you kept saying, &quot;Mind your fuckin' business, cunt,&quot; it was this?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah.
:'''Hughie''': Butcher, this is... the most insane-ass shit I ever heard. In a few weeks, you're gonna somehow do what it took the Russians over a decade?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, 'cause unlike the Ivans, we got us a livin', breathin' supercomputer bunked down in student services.
:'''Hughie''': Sage? All she does is self-medicate and binge [[w:Love Island (American TV series)|''Love Island'']]. This could fucking kill Kimiko. Frenchie…
:'''Frenchie''': No. It's not my wish.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck Butcher. Who cares what he wants?
:''[Kimiko coughs and stumbles out of the uranium chamber]'' 
:'''Kimiko''': Not Butcher. ''[panting heavily]'' Me. It's my call.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Annie''': Oh Father's up to something big at Vought Studios, but we don't know what. Could be a trap.
:'''Frenchie''': Could be.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' You stay here with Kimiko and Sage. We'll bust into the studio, nab the holy twat, stomp on his bollocks till he gives us Homelander's next move. And then I'll do the cunt and we'll call it an honest day's work, yeah?
:'''Hughie''': No. Quit acting like we're going on a milk run. It's over. ''[voice breaking]'' We lost.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' [[w:Victoria Beckham|Posh Spice]] was easily the most shit member of [[w:Spice Girls|the squad]]. Could barely sing or dance. No discernible talent whatsoever. Wasn't even featured on [[w:Wannabe|&quot;Wannabe&quot;]], but did that stop her? No. You look at her now... still married with [[w:David Beckham|Becks]]. Fifteen engagement rings, 32 ''Vogue'' covers, inducted by Prince William into the Order of the bloody British Empire. Even I doubted her move into women's apparel, but her line is a staple at Paris fuckin' Fashion Week. You see, despite her obvious disadvantages–includin' a tragic inability to smile–she never gave up, and we ain't givin' up either.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shakes his head]'' Your fuckin' pep talks.
:'''Frenchie''': Terrible.
:'''Annie''': The worst.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, bollocks. That was a fuckin' knockout.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Alone and depressed, The Deep tosses an aluminum can into the sea. A hammerhead shark appears and [[w:Samuel L. Jackson|speaks to him]]]''
:'''Xander''': Yo! You gonna get that, bro?
:'''The Deep''': Xander! ''[chuckles]'' Hey, what you doing here? So good to see you, man.
:'''Xander''': We wouldn't want a little guppy to get caught in that can, my man. Come on in, grab it. ''[swims in circles]''
:'''The Deep''': I've had such a fucked day, man. You wouldn't believe it, bro.
:'''Xander''': Yeah. Get in the water, man.
:'''The Deep''': No. You're not... You're not listening to me–
:'''Xander''': ''[angrily]'' Ah, shut the fuck up! We know you were responsible for the pipeline genocide. Remember March 15th, motherfucker!
:'''The Deep''': No... No, wait, that–That wasn't me, man!
:'''Xander''': If you step one foot, one fucking stupid-ass simian toe in the water ''ANYWHERE''—an ocean, a stream, a fucking puddle—on God, son, you're dead! We're gonna ''KILL YOU!'' You understand, you dumb motherfucker?! Water is fucking off limits to you! ''YOU ARE '''DEAD''' TO US! [swimming away]'' Bitch-ass!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy sees Homelander standing over a scale model of a Homelander-themed amusement park]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': The fuck is all this?
:'''Homelander''': Hey. HomeLand. Next phase of the reboot. Showing the faithful my boundless love for them. ''[points at a monument of himself]'' That there? The Homelander Mount. We're saying that this is where the angel visited me, and I ascended to godhood.
:'''Soldier Boy''': …Right.
:'''Homelander''': You're gonna love this. ''[waves his hand over a rollercoaster]'' This area here? We're calling it: &quot;Soldier Boy! Father of God!&quot; All the fastest rides are gonna be there, and every night, there's gonna be a ticker tape parade, honoring you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' I'm gonna head down to Bogotá. Figure I'll snort and fuck my way through the banana republics.
:'''Homelander''': Uh... When are you coming back?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Probably not for… ever.
:'''Homelander''': What? Look, if you don't like the park, I mean, forget it. I don't–I don't care about any of it. You want hοοker and blow? I'll get you all the drugs and all the wrinkly old whοres in America.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No, you're not hearing me.
:'''Homelander''': No, you're not hearing ''me.'' I am where I am because you chose me. To help me. So, I want you to have whatever you want.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What I want is to get away.
:'''Homelander''': From what? ''[scoffs]'' Or from who?
:'''Soldier Boy''': This just ain't my bag, kid.
:'''Homelander''': I welded your shield back together, you never use it. I hired you a three-star Michelin chef, all you ever order is meatloaf and chili. I even had L.J. mock up a new super suit for you. 
:''[Homelander pulls out a poster of Soldier Boy wearing an American flag-patterned suit]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, God. See, that's what I'm talking about.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, God? What?!
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't want that. And another thing: I gave you the V1 because of Clara. Because that's what she would've wanted. This was never gonna be a &quot;playing catch on the front lawn&quot;, &quot;fixing up the old Impala&quot; bullshit. You're too weird.
:'''Homelander''': Stop fucking saying that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': And you're no god. No angel came to you. You had a wet dream about some chick with big, juicy tіts. If that makes you a god, then I'm a fucking god every night.
:'''Homelander''': '''I ''AM'' GOD!'''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' Would it help if I said, &quot;It's not you, it's me&quot;?
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs softly]'' If you wanna go, go.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sighs; pats Homelander on the back]'' Good luck, son.
:''[Homelander suddenly grabs Soldier Boy from behind and puts him in a chokehold until he passes out]''
:'''Homelander''': I love you.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mother's Milk''': Help me out here. In the movie, was Homelander God, the [[w:Second Coming|Second Coming]], or Jesus' brother? 'Cause the world-building in there was fuckеd.
:'''Annie''': Does it even matter? I mean, they will believe whatever he tells them. What is the fucking point of saving people if they don't wanna be saved? This is what they want.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[beat]'' Alright. So, back when my Gramps got killed by Soldier Boy, shit got rough. Neighborhood kids laughed, called me soft, shit like that. And then one day, I find this pigeon on the sidewalk, wing busted. He was in bad shape. So, I run inside, grab a shoebox and a first aid kit, and come to start nursin' it. I figure, if I can save just this one life, maybe it might somehow make up for... Anyway, those same fuckin' kids, they found out. And so now, it don't take a genius to go from Marvin Milk to Mother's Milk. &quot;Yo, Mother's Milk, you letting that sky rat suck on your tіttіеs or that dіck?&quot; They were relentless. Right up until the day when that little bird flew outta my house and right over their heads, good as new. And you know what, Annie? Here's the crazy thing: I loved my new name. 'Cause I loved helpin' people. I loved being kind, makin' my family proud. That name was a badge of honor for me. Now, last year, locked up in that detention center, something changed. My heart, it just got scarred over. Like the world had just broken it one too many times. And yeah, it got easier, just being cynical. Checking out. But I also hated myself a lot more. I went from being a mοthеrfuckеr with a heart to just being a mοthеrfuckеr. But you know what? Givin' a shit in a world where nobody gives a shit? It ain't soft. It's hard as hell… and that's the real me. ''[pause]'' And that's the real you, too.

===''&quot;Blood and Bone&quot;'' [5.08]===
:'''Homelander''': It's alright. I'm not here to hurt you.
:'''Ryan''': You mean like last time?
:'''Homelander''': Look at you. No harm done.
:'''Ryan''': How'd you find me?
:'''Homelander''': Crime Analytics caught wind of a young man flying outside Kolvereid. Tends to draw attention.
:'''Ryan''': I don't want your help.
:'''Homelander''': I know. You've made that very clear. But you're also the son of God, and you should not be sleeping in a barn. You can have a whole floor of the Tower. Do what you want with it, come and go as you please.
:'''Ryan''': I don't wanna be anywhere near you.
:'''Homelander''': Everything is different now. I've ascended. I'm immortal.
:'''Ryan''': Then, why do you give a shit about what happens to me?
:'''Homelander''': Because we're family. ''[Ryan scoffs]'' We have the same blood pumping through our veins.
:'''Ryan''': Yeah, well, you've got your shitty racist dad. So you don't need me.
:'''Homelander''': No, Soldier Boy doesn't matter. You and I, that's all that matters. I know you, because I ''am'' you. And you're me.
:'''Ryan''': Dad… Get fuckеd. I am nothing like you. You were already the most powerful person on Earth. And you were a lonely, miserable piece of fucking shit, throwing tantrums when you didn't get what you want. Why the fuck would more power make you any better? It's just going to make you an even more lonely, miserable piece of shit. Scaring people into calling you God doesn't make you God. And deep down, you know that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; tearfully sighs]'' It's okay. You don't know what's going on. It's okay… but you will.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[After M.M. kills Oh Father by blocking his mouth with a metal mouth gag, causing his head to explode and spill blood all around]''
:'''Hughie''': I really need a new job.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''The Deep''': It was all a test. Yes! The universe is rewarding me for my loyalty, just like [[w:Sean Connery|Sean Connery]] rewarded [[w:Kevin Costner|Costner]] at the end of ''[[w:Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves|Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves]]''!
:'''Hughie''': Sweet ''Jesus'', you're a moron.
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander gives his Easter address from the Oval Office and begins reading from a teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': My fellow Americans... Happy Easter. A day commemorating Jesus, who, as we all know, was tortured, stripped of his dignity and killed. And that's all well and good. But you're Americans. You deserve a God who doesn't die. A God who fights back. A God you can believe in. Well, today, I bring you good news. Recently, I was visited by an exquisite angel bearing the gift of revelation. As I bathed in her light, her heavenly lips spilled sweet truth into my ear, and I was awakened to my true purpose. Not just to be the world's greatest hero but to save all humanity. To be... the Second Coming. But in a way, really, I'm the First Coming. America... I am the Lord. Your savior. I am your God. And as such, I'm going to usher this world into a new, golden dawn. An age in which your God moves among you, seen and heard. Your prayers are truly answered when you visit homelander.church. And all I ask for in return… I simply ask that you open your hearts and put your faith in me. Those who accept my truth will be welcomed into a land of milk and honey. For I am your Fa…
:''[Homelander stares blankly at the teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': I am… ''[beat]'' But no matter what I do, some of you people will never accept me into your hearts. Never love me. Never believe in me. And to such heretics, I offer oblivion. And those who seek to destroy me, you will die the most horrible of deaths, as befits your wickedness. My reign will last forever, and when this world is cold and dead, I shall remain... eternal. God of the ashes.
:''[Butcher and Kimiko suddenly break into the Oval Office]''
:'''Butcher''': Evening, cunts. Daddy's home. 
:'''Homelander''': William. ''[pause]'' I was starting to think you weren't going to hold up your end of our deal.
:'''Butcher''': Scorched earth?
:'''Homelander''': A shame about the French one. How's your little science experiment going without him?
:'''Butcher''': Let's find out.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander is now at Butcher's mercy after losing his powers]''
:'''Butcher''': Shock and awe, my son. Blood and fuckin' bone.
:''[Homelander charges toward Butcher, who grabs Homelander's fist with his left hand and punches him three times with the other. Butcher grabs Homelander again and prepares to land another punch.]''
:'''Butcher''': This... is for Frenchie.
:''[Butcher punches Homelander in the face repeatedly, knocking him down to the floor and leaving him cowering in fear]''
:'''Homelander''': Stop! You owe me. All the times I could've killed you and I didn't, I let you live. I'll–I'll give you Vought. ''[Butcher picks up his crowbar]'' I'll give you Vought, alright? You can do whatever you want with it, okay? I'll–I'll... Becca. You want your wife back? I'll have a shape-shifter be her. ''[whimpers]'' Just tell me! I'll fucking suck your dіck! Please! I'll do anything! You want me to eat shit? I'll eat your fucking shit! I'll eat your fucking shit on live TV! ''[pause; Butcher knocks him down against the desk]'' Madelyn, you promised me. It's not real. ''[to Butcher]'' You can't fucking do this. ''You can't fucking do this! '''I am the Homelander!'''''
:'''Butcher''': No. Nah, you ain't nothing. And this... This is for my Becca.
:'''Homelander''': No, no...
:''[Butcher stabs Homelander in the head with the straight end of the crowbar. He lifts it up, breaking Homelander's skull open and spilling his brains all over the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie confronts Butcher at Vought Tower to stop him from releasing the Supe virus. Butcher is looking out the window when Hughie enters the main conference room.]''
:'''Butcher''': Traffic?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. Accident on the bridge. Should have taken the tunnel.
:'''Butcher''': ''[turns around]'' I thought you might try to stop me. But you shouldn't have come alone. You should've brought a fuckin' army.
:'''Hughie''': No. If you were gonna release the virus, you would've done it already.
:'''Butcher''': Unless... I'm waitin' for all the Supe cunts to clock in for the day shift. Not much point shootin' spunk into an empty fuckin' building, now is there?
:'''Hughie''': Okay, well, now I kinda wish I brought an army. Where's the virus, Butcher?
:'''Butcher''': I dumped it in the sprinkler tank. Frenchie's idea, God rest the mad bastard. ''[picks up remote controller]'' All I gotta do is pull this trigger, and it rains kill juice on all 99 floors. Shit will be worldwide within a couple of days.
:'''Hughie''': Why? I mean, we already won.
:'''Butcher''': Won? No, we just gave 'em a black eye. As long as there's Vought, there'll be Supes. And sooner or later, some cunt that's already out there becomes the next Homelander, and you fuckin' know it. No. We need to end the whole bloody notion of Supes, and we need to make it permanent. I mean, you can see it, right? This is it. This is the moment.
:'''Hughie''': You dragged me through fucking hell... for this. For now. To be your... canary. Or your Kessler. Or Lenny. But here's the thing: You don't need me for that. You never did. It's already in you. I can see it. You might have a broken fucking heart, but you have one. You are not a monster, Butcher. It just hurts to be human.
:'''Butcher''': I'm sorry, mate. Superheroes... are done.
:'''Hughie''': ''[pulls out gun]'' I can't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Petit Hughie and his gun. Takes some big bollocks to pull the trigger on a mate.
:'''Hughie''': ''[aims the gun at Butcher]'' I will if I have to.
:'''Butcher''': ''[chuckles]'' Nah. You ain't got the…
:''[Butcher takes the gun from Hughie, punches him and throws him across the room]''
:'''Butcher''': Stay down.
:''[Butcher sees Hughie staring at the remote and rushes to take it before Hughie does. Hughie quickly gets up and trades more blows with Butcher, spitting blood onto the floor after getting punched hard in the gut. Eventually, Butcher gains the upper hand and picks up the remote while Hughie lies helpless on the floor. Before he can pull the remote trigger, he has a hallucination of Lenny lying in Hughie's place. He gets shot in the abdomen by Hughie as he moves his finger away from the trigger. Realizing what he did, Hughie rushes to Butcher's side.]''
:'''Hughie''': I'm sorry. Um... I didn't wanna–I didn't wanna do that. Um... I'm–I'm gonna call an ambulance, okay?
:'''Butcher''': I wouldn't bother. It's alright, Hughie. I gave you no choice. I... I wasn't gonna stop. All the blood... and shite I put you through... and none of it made a blind bit of difference. You–You stayed yourself... no matter what I done. ''[coughs]''
:'''Hughie''': Hey.
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know what to do.
:'''Hughie''': You don't need to do anything.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat; Hughie holds his hand]'' You really are... the spittin' of Lenny.
:''[Butcher slowly loses his grip on Hughie as he dies]'' 
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': ''[last lines; to his and Annie's unborn daughter]'' Take care of your mom, Robin.
==External links==
{{The Boys}}
[[Category:The Boys (TV series) seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>7tu767e5egqpk5qgek9rnr8xjgmninz</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943883</id>
      <parentid>3943882</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:26:49Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Constantin1995</username>
        <id>3215997</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* &quot;Teenage Kix&quot; [5.02] */</comment>
      <origin>3943883</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="89874" sha1="3it3eo2t3htui1g9fomlibualo7nl9a" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Season''' [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 1|1]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 2|2]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 3|3]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 4|4]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 5|5]]  [[The Boys (TV series)|Main]]
----
'''''[[w:The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]''''' is an American superhero television series developed by Eric Kripke for [[w:Amazon Prime Video|Amazon Prime Video]]. Based on the comic book of the same name by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson, it follows the eponymous team of vigilantes as they combat superpowered individuals who abuse their abilities.

==''&quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;'' [5.01]==
:''[Homelander meets with Sister Sage after the Flight 37 video gets leaked to the public by Annie]''
:'''Sister Sage''': We knew this would happen sooner or later. We've been ready. In the last 24 hours, we have flooded the zone with so much disinformation, people can't tell their clit from their collarbone. The share price is only down half a point. Besides that, damage is minimal.
:'''Homelander''': ''[points at open book]'' What's this?
:'''Sister Sage''': That is a Gutenberg Bible. Martin Shkreli sold it to me at discount.
:'''Homelander''': You're really on top of the world, huh? Peter Thiel, the Obamas calling you for advice. Everyone loves you. 
:'''Sister Sage''': You can't really think I care.
:'''Homelander''': Maybe you didn't used to.
:'''Sister Sage''': It's all for you. The higher the share price, the happier the billionaires. The more you get to do whatever the fuck you wanna do.
:'''Homelander''': Are you aware that NNC is calling me a murderer? Saying that maybe I even did something to my son?
:'''Sister Sage''': No. Everyone knows that Ryan is... ''[sighs]'' Sorry. That he is at boarding school. In Svalbard. ''[chuckling]'' That story's holding. We're good.
:'''Homelander''': And how–how about you, Sage? Are you… good?
:'''Sister Sage''': I'm fine.
:'''Homelander''': You're not distracted at all? After Thomas Godolkin dumped you? You're not numbing the heartache by stabbing your brain?
:'''Sister Sage''': No.
:'''Homelander''': Then, just tell me. How did Starlight get in the building? ''[beat; exhales]'' I WAS '''HUMILIATED!''' As if people don't hate me enough!
:'''Sister Sage''': Your numbers are north of 96.
:'''Homelander''': Anyone can smile for the pollsters, sure, but millions of them are still Starlighters in their hearts! Where it counts! Have you seen the memes? Have you seen the ''memes'' about me?! ''[brief pause]'' Posting them should be a crime.
:'''Sister Sage''': Yes, but we can't go... ''[notices Homelander glaring at her]'' Oh, you're serious. Uh, sir... ''[chuckles]'' Ongoing conflict is useful to us. It keeps people afraid…
:'''Homelander''': Shut up.
:'''Sister Sage''': …which is exactly what we–
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no, no! NO! You promised me Caesar.
:'''Sister Sage''': He was stabbed by his best friends.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, well, I can relate to that! But I need people to be ''devoted!'' To '''''me!'''''
:'''Sister Sage''': May I speak freely?
:'''Homelander''': Give it a shot.
:'''Sister Sage''': I told you, no matter how much power you amass, it will not make you happy.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You know what's gonna make me happy? I think I'll be happy when Starlight and William Butcher are corpses. I want it leaked that in three days, we are going to execute Hugh Campbell, Milk, and the... French one. That'll draw out Starlight and Butcher, and then I will take care of this once and for all.
:'''Sister Sage''': Consider it done, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, wow. Your skin is so oily, like hugging a McRib.
:'''Annie''': Wait, did you—Did you just... How?!
:'''Kimiko''': Speech therapy and fucking therapy therapy and so much fucking TikTok.
:'''Annie''': Well, you sure sound like you're on TikTok.
:'''Butcher''': Sixteen-hour flight and not a fucking peep.
:'''Kimiko''': 'Cause all you can say is &quot;Oi, oi, oi. Cunt, cunt, cunt&quot;.
:'''Butcher''': I liked her better with her mouth shut.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Annie''': Took you long enough. Slowing down in your old age?
:'''A-Train''': ''[laughs and hugs Annie]'' Fuck you, [[w:Killing of JonBenét Ramsey|JonBenét]].
:'''Kimiko''': You guys are friends?
:'''A-Train''': You talk?
:'''Kimiko''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Annie''': Reggie's been helping us out for a while.
:'''A-Train''': ''[takes drink from Annie]'' Thanks. Where is everybody? ''[pause]'' I heard about the Pittsburgh raid last month. Go Marie Moreau. How's her team doing?
:'''Annie''': Yeah, they're scoring a few wins, but not nearly enough.
:'''A-Train''': So, what's with the 911?
:'''Annie''': Hughie, M.M. and Frenchie are gonna be executed tomorrow, so we need your help to break them out.
:'''A-Train''': Of a Vought prison camp? You're fucking crazy.
:'''Annie''': Listen, you don't have to fight, okay? We just need you to run them to the extraction point. It's easy.
:'''A-Train''': Easy. Right. You know Homelander's gonna be waiting. I can't.
:'''Annie''': We know how to kill him, okay? But we need Frenchie to do it.
:'''A-Train''': Great. Well, good luck with that.
:'''Annie''': Hey, are you gonna keep running forever? I mean, if we're gonna really take him out, we need your help.
:'''A-Train''': So what, I'm just supposed to join this little fucking supergroup?
:'''Annie''': I mean, we are down one asshоlе, so… Yeah, maybe.
:'''A-Train''': ''[pause]'' No.
:'''Annie''': Why not?
:'''A-Train''': I said I can't.
:'''Annie''': I know you're scared…
:'''A-Train''': No, I'm not fucking scared! I got a family to protect. ''[Annie sighs]'' I can't.
:'''Annie''': I get it, I do. Me, too. ''[pause]'' Keep them safe.
:''[Annie and Kimiko watch A-Train run off]''
:'''Kimiko''': We shouldn't have let him go.
:'''Annie''': No. Homelander fuckеd him up. Fuckеd me up, too. We're gonna need an Exit Plan B.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk go over their escape plan]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so we hit the east gate.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Oui'', Petit Hughie, when the guards change shift.
:'''Hughie''': And we go at dawn.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We've been through this.
:'''Hughie''': I know. I just wanna go over it a few more times just so I can get it in my head.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hughie… ''[holds out moonshine jar]'' Take a fuckin' drink, will you?
:'''Hughie''': No, thanks.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shrugs; to Frenchie]'' ''Mon ami?''
:'''Frenchie''': You know I quit.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Leave it up to you to have your shit the tightest you've ever had it in a fuckin' internment camp.
:'''Frenchie''': Yeah, what about you? Have you been eating the fresh produce I smuggle in?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Moonshine's got corn in it. ''[takes a sip of moonshine]''
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Hughie]'' Hey… Don't worry. Annie will be fine. She's strong.
:'''Hughie''': ''[takes liquor bottle from Frenchie]'' Kimiko, too. 
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Y'all mοthеrfuckеrs are trippin'. Y'all don't know what the fuck's going on with them. ''[to Frenchie]'' Hey, you don't even know where Kimiko's at.
:'''Hughie''': What, so you don't think you're gonna see Janine and Monique again? Is that it?
:'''Mother's Milk''': What I know is that they're a shit ton safer without me making a mess out of their lives.
:'''Hughie''': M.M., you're the strongest guy I know. We've been in tougher spots than this.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, I did two tours in the 3/8 in Farah Province. The shit I saw would ''fuck you up''. And even that was ''Emily in Paris'' compared to the shit that we looking at here. And even if we make it outta here, we ain't surviving this fuckin' war. We are dead men walking. Chin-chin, mοthеrfuckеrs.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie is shocked to see all of his prison bunkmates brutally murdered in their bunker. He sees Homelander sitting on his bed reading from his journal.]''
:'''Homelander''': &quot;Well, Annie, today marks two months. It's a little insane how much I miss you. I've been having trouble eating. Every day, I see people giving up, but not me. Because I have you.&quot; It's very, very sweet.
:'''Hughie''': They were innocent.
:'''Homelander''': Oh… ''[looks briefly at one of the corpses]'' Well, I'd hardly call them innocent. They lied to me. Played dumb about your little stash in the wall there. We've known about that for quite some time, but I just wanted to give you a little hope.
:'''Hughie''': You're not the one who gave it to me, asshоlе.
:'''Homelander''': Ooh, I like Internment Camp Hughie. She's zesty.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck you. Do it.
:'''Homelander''': What?
:'''Hughie''': Kill me.
:'''Homelander''': Not until we flush out Butcher and Starlight.
:'''Hughie''': You think they're dumb enough to just walk right into your trap?
:'''Homelander''': Let's not insult each other. We both know they're coming. ''[throws the journal at Hughie's feet]'' Do you remember when we first met?
:'''Hughie''': How could I forget? 
:'''Homelander''': Believe Festival. I tried to cleanse your soul. I remember thinking... ''[sighs]'' &quot;Why him?&quot; What does Starlight see in this gangly simp that reeks of fear and Strawberry Smoothie kids' shampoo? You know, William and Victoria Neuman love you, too. I mean, I get it from your perspective. You're punching up. Good for you. But why are they so hopelessly devoted to such staggering mediocrity? Why would Starlight and Butcher piss away their lives to try and rescue you?
:'''Hughie''': Because I'd do it for them.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher and Kimiko find Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk tied up and gagged by Homelander when they break into the Vought internment camp]''
:'''Hughie''': Butcher?! Oh, fuck.
:'''Homelander''': ''[waves]'' Surprise. Welcome, William. ''[to Kimiko]'' And you. The gang is almost all here. Oh, and uh, ''[looks down at Mother's Milk]'' you never told me that this one's nickname is... Mother's Milk. ''[licks his lips; laughs]'' Okay. So, what's the big plan? What, are you gonna sandbag me with the Godolkin virus? ''[Butcher looks shocked]'' Yes. I know all about it.
:'''Kimiko''': Suck my fat dіck!
:''[Homelander lasers Kimiko in half. The top half of her body falls to the floor.]''
:'''Homelander''': Hey, where's Starlight? Just doesn't feel like a party without my little lightning bug here... ''[pause; stares at Butcher]'' Jesus Christ, William. You've got a viper's nest in there. I'd heard about it, of course. But seeing it for myself, it's uh… it–it's incredible. I mean, it's fucking disgusting of course, but it's–it's beautiful. What you've done to yourself, what you've become… and you did all that for me? ''[pause]'' Now that… ''that'' is devotion. You know, William, I know we're not exactly equals, but I'm compelled to say… you are the only one that's ever challenged me. And there's a part of me that will be sad to see you go.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A-Train gets badly injured while being chased by Homelander, who eventually catches up to him]''
:'''Homelander''': Looks like someone ''can'' catch the A-Train after all. End of the road, buddy boy.
:''[A-Train starts laughing at Homelander as he gets back up]''
:'''Homelander''': What's so funny?
:'''A-Train''': What was I so afraid of? You are… fucking nothing.
:'''Homelander''': Really?
:''[Homelander lifts A-Train and pins him against a tree]''
:'''A-Train''': ''[grunts]'' Really. You're just an empty fucking suit. Take away these powers… and what are you, huh? A pathetic… weak… sniveling fucking loser.
:''[Homelander wraps his hand around A-Train's neck and slowly chokes him. A-Train continues laughing until Homelander snaps his neck, killing him instantly.]''

==''&quot;Teenage Kix&quot;'' [5.02]==
:'''Oh Father''': We fight hellfire with holy fire! We fight with the ballot box! We fight with the ammo box! Matthew 10:34 — &quot;I do not come to bring the peace, but a sword&quot;! You are not here to be blessed, you are here to do war!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Goddammit, A-Train. It didn't need to come to this. I don't know, you left me no choice! I know that my leadership style can be stern, but it was for your own good! I like to think of myself as the big brother that you never had. You remember that girlfriend you had? Uh... Pop... Popfang. Betrayed us both, to William Butcher, no less. Huge mess, your fault. What did I do? ''What did I do?'' I gave you a chance to make things right, I reached out my hand... and you bit it! What did I ever do to deserve that? What, was I too nurturing? Too forgiving? Well, maybe. But dammit, you weren't like the others: Snakes, backstabbers. I could count on you, man. I ''did'' count on you. I loved you... but here we are. Why does this keep happening to me? I guess the strongest men are the most alone. You wouldn't understand. Nobody does.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander releases Soldier Boy from his cryogenic chamber at Vought Tower. Soldier Boy wakes up the next morning in Homelander's bedroom.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no. It's okay. It's okay, I don't wanna hurt you. You're safe, okay? You've been in deep freeze again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, Jesus Christ. For how long?
:'''Homelander''': Almost two years in a CIA black site. I just found out this morning.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You found out this morning?
:'''Homelander''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But that just happens to be in your room? ''[pause]'' Did you fuck me?
:'''Homelander''': ''[legitimately confused]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this some kind of incest thing?
:'''Homelander''': No!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Then, what the fuck is this?
:'''Homelander''': ''[stammers]'' Look, I... I want you to find William Butcher.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Find him yourself.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the people that work for me are limited. And you are the best tracker there is. I just–I need you to find him and report back. Very simple.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You want me… to work for you?
:'''Homelander''': Well, why don't we say &quot;work ''with'' me&quot;? And... I can help you. I can give you a proper comeback.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need you for that.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the whole world does think that you're a Russian spy, so…
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[takes a deep breath]'' Okay. Alright, listen to me. I'm no ass-felching Commie. You got that?!
:'''Homelander''': I know, I know. And listen, I am Vought now. Me. So, the public, they're gonna believe that you are whatever I tell them you are. I can resurrect you. I can give you back what you lost. I can even make you number two in The Seven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Number two? ''[Homelander nods]'' Or how about I finish the job, and blast you to Kingdom Fuck.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, you could try. Who knows, you might even fry the V right out of my blood. Or you might not. But I'm betting that you hate William Butcher more than you hate... me. After all, I'm–I'm not the one that betrayed you, am I?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I tried to kill you. The minute I turn my back, how do I know you won't return the favor?
:'''Homelander''': Look... 
:''[Homelander picks up Soldier Boy's shield and gives it to him]''
:'''Homelander''': You find William Butcher for me… all is forgiven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat; looks at the shield]'' Looks like a fuckin' kindergarten ashtray. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Soldier Boy, ''[points at Calhoun and Ashley]'' this is the President, Vice President of the United States of America. They work for me. Everyone, Soldier Boy is gonna be number two in The Seven once he has located William Butcher and Annie January.
:'''The Deep''': What? Wait–Wait, what, sir? No, sir. I... I can do this. I can bring them in.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, like you did with A-Train? We're going in a new direction, Deep. Competence. ''[to Calhoun]'' Oh, and Steve, Soldier Boy's gonna need a full pardon.
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, he–he was guilty of... you know, treason. ''[pause; Homelander just stares at him]'' Consider it done, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific. And you know what? I'm sure the man's dying for a drink. Uh, Steve, can you make him a…
:'''Soldier Boy''': Manhattan.
:'''Homelander''': Manhattan. Thanks, Steve.
:'''Calhoun''': Of course. Can I get you a glass of milk, sir?
:'''Homelander''': ''[sternly]'' No. Steven… I'll also have a Manhattan.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goddamn. Since when could Supes teabag the President?
:'''Homelander''': Since me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Hughie looking despondent on their way back to the Teenage Kix mansion]''
:'''Butcher''': Oi, fuckin' smile, Hughie. I mean, ain't you a little glad A-Train's dead?
:'''Hughie''': …No, I'm not glad he's dead. A-Train did a lot of horrible things, but he saved our lives, and he died a hero. A real hero. There are a lot of other Supes that don't deserve to die either.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, I know you just done a year in the gulag. You've earned your seat at the table, so... I'll give it to ya straight. You gotta knock this wet, gaping pussy shite on the head, mate. Ain't doin' no one no favours. Especially your girl. I mean, that's why she's givin' you the cold shoulder.
:'''Hughie''': Don't talk to me about Annie. You don't know what's going on with her.
:'''Butcher''': Well, I know that she finally knows the fuckin' score. And she knows that you poncin' about with this Jiminy Cricket, &quot;listen to your heart&quot; bollocks is just gonna get her killed.
:'''Hughie''': Is there any part of you left that's still human? ''[pause]'' You're gonna get Annie killed, not me… but I won't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Noted.
:''[A shield suddenly pierces the windshield of the Boys' truck. Hughie catches the virus vial right as they crash into another vehicle.]''
:'''Hughie''': Fuck!
:'''Kimiko''': Hughie, the vial!
:'''Hughie''': It's good. ''[stares at the shield]'' Wait, is that...?
:''[They see Soldier Boy walking up the street towards them]''
:'''Butcher''': Well, well, well.
:'''Kimiko''': He's dead, right? He's supposed to be dead?
:'''Butcher''': Supposed to be. Mallory put him in ice for a bit.
:'''Hughie''': ''[slowly turns to face Butcher]'' You're telling us this ''now?''
:'''Butcher''': Somebody up there likes us, mate.
:'''Hughie''': In what fucking way?!
:'''Butcher''': Well, we wanted a guinea pig. Who better than Homelander's old man? New plan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Butcher''': Oi. Ain't you supposed to be a giant ice dіldо?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Aren't you supposed to be smart? Renting a truck under the name &quot;Don T. Beakunt.&quot; Same alias when we headed to Herogasm.
:'''Butcher''': Well, oldie, but a goodie.
:''[Soldier Boy sees Hughie and Kimiko get out of the truck and run away]'' 
:'''Butcher''': No, mate. Just you and me.
:''[Soldier Boy shoots Butcher three times, but to no avail. Butcher, still standing, looks down at his chest then looks back up at Soldier Boy.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess it's true. You're one of us now.
:'''Butcher''': Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Then fuckin' beat 'em.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Being super is not gonna save you.
:'''Butcher''': That don't stop us helpin' each other. Homelander's double the cunt now, if that's even possible. He needs doin' more than ever. You still fancy his seat on The Seven, don't ya?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Fuck you! We had a deal! I held up my end of the bargain, and you sold me out. Put me back in a fucking box! And for what? 'Cause I was gonna kill some dumb kid?
:'''Butcher''': That kid is your grandson.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, was it worth it? You feeling good about that call right about now? Where is that fucking brat?
:'''Butcher''': Homelander's the one fuckin' you over, mate. Or did he mention that we've got an uber virus strong enough to kill every fuckin' Supe on the planet?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Bullshit.
:'''Butcher''': God's honest. The things this virus can do... ''Fuckin' diabolical.'' Why d'you think he sent you here instead of coming himself, hmm? You're the sacrificial cunt. Again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess we'll see.
:'''Butcher''': You don't get it, do ya? Me, Homelander, your old crew–Everyone fucks you over. Do you wanna know why? 'Cause you... are a dumb fuckin' twat.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hughie Campbell. How is a useless cock-gobbler like you still alive?
:'''Hughie''': All your jokes are about dudes blowing dudes. You're kind of obsessed!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this the virus he was going on about? The so-called &quot;Supe Killer&quot;? Well, not today, you semen-swilling butt pirate.
:'''Hughie''': What?

===''&quot;Every One of You Sons of Bitches&quot;'' [5.03]===
:''[Homelander has a psychotic breakdown and hallucinates Madelyn Stillwell appearing to him as an angel]''
:'''Homelander''': Madelyn...!
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, my boy! My sweet boy... What is wrong? Why are you unhappy?
:'''Homelander''': My father and my son! Everything, it's all falling apart!
:'''Madelyn''': No! No, it's exactly what needed to happen. Yes, it's been foretold! You're about to ascend. Become immortal. Divine. A true god with the love of the world.
:'''Homelander''': But–
:'''Madelyn''': I know, you think love is weak and human. But who is more loved than Jesus? And why should he have more love than you? You save more people than he does. The one, true god...
:'''Homelander''': Yes... But how? How? Millions of people just hate me...
:'''Madelyn''': Well, then you baptize the unfaithful in their own blood. Rip babies from their mothers' wombs.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': Skin parents in front of their children. Rid the world of the wicked.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': The nonbelievers...
:'''Homelander''': They'll call me a monster...
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, the only ones left will be your faithful. And they will love you in their hearts. They'll cry happy tears at the mere thought of you. You have one last task, my love.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Homelander?
:'''Homelander''': Up here.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What do you– ''[sees Homelander taking a bath]'' What in the fuck? Is that milk?
:'''Homelander''': Better. Breastmilk from the NICU at Mount Sinai.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So, what? You asked me up here so I could watch you swim in tit jizz?
:'''Homelander''': I wanna give you another chance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You wanna give ''me'' another chance?
:'''Homelander''': Yes. Help me find that V1.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd rather fist myself with a handful of razors. Besides, Cleopatra Jones said there's no V1 to find.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, there most certainly is. And I am going to find it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah? What makes you so sure?
:'''Homelander''': ''[smiling]'' An angel told me. It's my destiny.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Just when I thought there was a ceiling to how fuckin' weird you could get.
:'''Homelander''': Yes, yes. Make your jokes. You've been blessed with immortality, and what have you done with it? Drink and fuck yourself numb. You... You are a disappointment. You see... ''[stands up and gets out of the tub]'' I am not gonna waste my immortality. I am gonna take what's rightfully mine. I'm asking you if you want a seat at the table because you're my father. But with or without you... a reckoning is coming.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' You know, all I see is a freak. A freak with a bushel of gray pubes. Try some Just for Men.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher takes Ryan to a pub to discuss his plan to kill Homelander with the Supe virus]''
:'''Butcher''': All you do is get him on the blower and tell him you wanna see him. When he rocks up, you chuck the shit in his face... and that'll be it.
:'''Ryan''': Why me?
:'''Butcher''': 'Cause he won't leave the fortress of cuntitude for anyone else.
:'''Ryan''': So this is what you wanted to talk to me about. Killing my dad.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, mate–
:'''Ryan''': Is that all you think I'm good for?
:'''Butcher''': I ain't gonna treat you like a kid no more, alright? You're done with that. Homelander raped your mum. He's gonna burn everything down, and you are the only one who can stop him. Now... Normally, I don't put no stock in any of that bollocks about destiny, but if anyone's got one, it's you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause; sighs]'' I throw this virus at him... what'll happen to me?
:'''Butcher''': You'll die. I'll be close by and we'll go together. Now... I ain't gonna lie to you. This… this is not what your mum wanted… But it's the only way. And it will be justice.
:'''Ryan''': You're asking me to kill myself?
:'''Butcher''': You wouldn't be the first lad to throw his life away in a war... but you would be the first to save the world doin' it. ''[beat; sighs heavily]'' I'll fetch us a pint.
:''[Later, Butcher returns with a pint of beer]''
:'''Butcher''': Here. Told her you were 30. ''[Ryan chuckles]'' Fuck the leather, fuck the lace, here's to the bird who sits on yer face. ''[takes a long sip of beer]''
:'''Ryan''': Where'd you pick that up?
:'''Butcher''': Me old man.
:'''Ryan''': You two close?
:'''Butcher''': Nah, not really. He was a... a piss artist. Used to lose all his money on the gee-gees–horses–and then, he'd come home, beat the livin' daylights outta Len and me. And then later, laugh about it with his mates. Yeah, he was a right cunt.
:'''Ryan''': Where is he now?
:'''Butcher''': Bottom of the Thames. I put him there, just the other day. Only wish I'd done it sooner, before he caused more... more damage.
:'''Ryan''': Butcher... Do you think that I could ever... That I might turn into my dad?
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know.
:'''Ryan''': ''[sighs]'' My mom... Aunt Grace... the others... All I do is hurt people. I can't be around anyone.
:'''Butcher''': Without us–without Supes–the world is a better, safer place.
:'''Ryan''': ''[beat]'' I'll do it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Edgar ''': You're fighting an unbeatable foe. You know that, right?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Who? Vought?
:'''Edgar''': Please. It's more powerful than Vought. Or Homelander. More powerful than nature or life itself. It's profit and loss; supply and demand; the elegant flow of currency across the globe. We're just cogs in a great machine, and we all have our part to play. Say you kill Soldier Boy, or Homelander, or even release this virus. When superheroes go out of fashion, something else will just take their place. Because corporations must still grow. Money must still be made. The machine must still be fed. That is the way of the world.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Motherfucker. When this is all over... you're aiming to run Vought again, ain't you?
:'''Edgar''': Like I said. We all have our part to play.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[pause]'' If that day ever comes... I have a part to play, too. And that's to put a bullet in your fuckin' skull.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy and Firecracker are on her TruthBomb talkshow set preparing for their interview together]''
:'''Firecracker''': It's an honor to have a great American like yourself on the show. I guess it runs in the family, huh? Homelander's father… Dang.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks at the gun at Firecracker's hip]'' Glock, huh? Never saw the appeal in foreign-made guns.
:'''Firecracker''': Well, this ain't your granddaddy's Glock. This here's a 9mm Gen 5, seven-round capacity with a crisp fuckin' break.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, mine's a much longer barrel. ''[takes out his pistol]'' Battle-proven, all-American Colt 1911 chambered in .45 ACP. ''[cocks pistol]'' That'll blow your fuckin' panties off. Now, that little Glock–That's good for a late-night Harlem stroll, but uh, this here? That's a certified Kraut killer.
:'''Firecracker''': I think you mean an antique.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean a classic. You wanna give it a try? ''[Firecracker examines the pistol]'' Now, some can't handle the kick, but something tells me you'll do just fine.
:''[Cut to Soldier Boy and Firecracker in bed together after having sex]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Whew. Well, I gotta hand it to you. I haven't fuckеd that hard since... since I railed Shari Lewis on the balcony of Studio 54.
:'''Firecracker''': I ain't got no idea who that is.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well... Hey, why the hairless pussy?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[gives Soldier Boy a disgusted look]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean, what's the point of going down there if you're not gonna get a fat face full of fur? Is that how Homelander likes you? Like a baby?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' More like a mother.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But you two have fuckеd, right?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[shakes her head]'' Mm-mm.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Damn. I gotta admit, I was kinda just doing this as petty revenge against the freak.
:'''Firecracker''': That's terrible. Who would do such a thing? And you shouldn't say that about your son.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Ah, he thinks he's better than me.
:'''Firecracker''': He doesn't.
:'''Soldier Boy''': How do you know?
:'''Firecracker''': I don't know much, but I can read people. And the way he looks at you? Shoot. I ain't never seen him look at nobody like that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Uh, that's not exactly a compliment, doll. He is the strangest mοthеrfuckеr I've ever known, and I've had a threesome with Gary Busey.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ryan and Homelander meet up at the now-abandoned VoughtLand building]''
:'''Ryan''': Do you remember when you took me here? Pretended to care about me?
:'''Homelander''': I ''do'' care about you, son. I love you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause]'' I need to ask you–
:'''Homelander''': For my forgiveness? You already have it.
:'''Ryan''': What?
:'''Homelander''': Okay, let me finish. I put too much pressure on you to fill my boots. And–And I realize now that, uh... Well, that–that was impossible. But I do have some pretty exciting news. I am going to live forever now. I'll realize my own legacy. And you... ''[scoffs]'' you're off the hook. You can do whatever–
:'''Ryan''': Did you do it? Did you rapе my mom?
:'''Homelander''': What?! Of course not. Who told you–Did William Butcher tell you that? Your mother and I, we had an affair. A consensual affair between two adults.
:'''Ryan''': Your heart's racing.
:'''Homelander''': Well, yeah, because I'm shocked. And–And frankly, my heart's breaking a little bit that you could think I would do something like that.
:''[Ryan lasers Homelander, leaving a visible wound near his chest]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan... Ryan, stop!
:''[Ryan lunges at Homelander and shoves him against the wall. Homelander ducks below Ryan's fist to avoid getting punched by him.]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan! I don't know where this is coming from, because your mother… ''She'' came on to ''me.''
:''[Ryan punches Homelander twice and tries to laser him again. Homelander quickly dodges him again.]''
:'''Homelander''': ''Ryan!'' Son... ''[moves away to avoid another punch]'' Ryan! Ryan, buddy... Look what came out of it: My son! A blessing! ''[Ryan attacks him again]'' Hey, hey! Stop!
:''[Ryan readies another laser, which gets redirected when Homelander grabs his face. He punches Homelander in the face again, but Homelander gets the upper hand and slams Ryan several times into a box. Homelander wipes blood away from his nose as Ryan whimpers in pain.]''
:'''Homelander''': Oh, Ryan... Dammit. Look at what you made me do. ''[pause; kneels down to restrain Ryan]'' Shh... Shh, shh, shh. Hey... It's okay. My sweet, sweet boy.
:''[Homelander proceeds to punch Ryan repeatedly in the face until he is beaten nearly to death]''

===''&quot;King of Hell&quot;'' [5.04]===
:'''Homelander''': I need you for something.
:'''Firecracker''': You do?
:'''Homelander''': I have received the most wonderful message. I was visited... by an angel. And she foretold my destiny.
:'''Firecracker''': Wow. Well, praise be. And what is it?
:'''Homelander''': God.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, that is wonderful. There is no higher calling than servin' the Lord.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. Not serving the Lord. Being the Lord. I am the Messiah. I'm the savior of the world.
:'''Firecracker''': The... Messiah?
:'''Homelander''': Yes.
:''[Firecracker smiles despite her being clearly disturbed by Homelander's delusions]''
:'''Firecracker''': Um... Congrats.
:'''Homelander''': Thank you. ''[pause; Firecracker giggles nervously]'' I always knew I was special. I knew it. I suffered. I suffered so many hardships, and I... I couldn't understand why, but you... You... You always saw it, didn't you? You knew all along I was special. That is why I have chosen you to spread the word of my coming.
:'''Firecracker''': How?
:'''Homelander''': Well, we control the most powerful media apparatus on Earth. Jesus would kill for our marketing. What do you say?
:'''Firecracker''': ...Well, you know I would do anything for you, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys are hiking through the woods near Fort Harmony]''
:'''Kimiko''': It's weird. No birds or animals. It's like…
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. ''[to Mother's Milk]'' Had to park on the other side of the state, didn't ya?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Well, if the hike's too hard, why don't you try tying your boots, mοthеrfuckеr.
:''[Hughie is shocked to see a heavily decomposed corpse]''
:'''Hughie''': Oh, fuck that.
:'''Butcher''': Eh. Not really my type, son.
:'''Hughie''': Hey, how about showing a little respect?
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, Hughie's right, Butcher. You should take her out to dinner first. ''[chuckles; sighs]'' Let's see here. Based on the decomp, these bodies have been here for a while.
:'''Frenchie''': Something ripped them apart. Whatever killed those Boy Scouts might still stalk these woods.
:'''Butcher''': Let's get a move on, then. Didn't come out here to get bummed by Bigfoot.
:''[...]''
:'''Butcher''': Any sign of Super Cunt?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Could already be inside.
:'''Butcher''': Well, let's find out.
:'''Kimiko''': ''[to Hughie]'' What's wrong?
:'''Hughie''': Annie.
:'''Kimiko''': She'll come back.
:'''Hughie''': No. I almost died, but she made it all about her and she took off. I mean, last year, I got bad-touched by a shape-shifter, and she still found a way to make it about her. She can be such a fucking bitch. ''[pause; sees Kimiko looking at him in shock]'' Uh... Jesus. Sorry, I–I didn't mean for that to come out so harsh.
:''[The Boys see an entire field littered with animal carcasses]''
:'''Butcher''': ''Fuckin' hell.''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck happened here?
:'''Frenchie''': Our V'd-up beast enjoyed an amuse-bouche, perhaps?
:'''Butcher''': Well, explains why we didn't hear no animals.
:'''Kimiko''': I said that ten minutes ago.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys discover more decomposed corpses as they make their way downstairs to the lab inside Fort Harmony]''
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. They've been here a minute, haven't they?
:'''Frenchie''': Decades. Hunters... ''[pause; notices the knives embedded in the corpses]'' Look at their knives. These men, they killed each other. What if there is a monster here, but it's us?
:'''Butcher''': What the fuck are you on about, Frenchie?
:'''Frenchie''': [[w:Toxoplasma gondii|Toxoplasmosis]]. It's a parasite in cat shit. It can infect humans. Makes them react with explosive anger.
:'''Hughie''': You think we ate cat shit?
:'''Frenchie''': Ate? No... If the V1 spilled into the groundwater, it could mutate the plants. Their spores fill us with rage, we murder each other, and ''voilà''. We're plant food for these vines.
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so like [[w:The Last of Us (video game)|''The Last of Us'']]?
:'''Frenchie''': No, that is just [[w:The Walking Dead (comic book)|''The Walking Dead'']] with mushrooms. The dead campers, the animals, these hunters... Surely, you all see how strangely you've been acting.
:'''Kimiko''': Us? I've seen you blow cоcaіnе up your dіckhole.
:'''Frenchie''': Wait... You have a point. The copious amount of drug I've taken for decades has surely altered my brain chemistry. That's why I'm not affected. 
:'''Kimiko''': Guess being a junkie was good for something after all.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Romeo and fuckin' Juliet. You two survive this war, I give you six months tops.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy search the ground floor of Fort Harmony while the Boys are in the basement below looking for the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sniffs]'' Smells like deer piss. The last time I was here, I was fresh off the front lines, still picking Nazi brains out of my hair. And only the best of the best got selected for Dr. Vought's trials.
:'''Homelander''': Hmmph.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Not soft little hog-chompers.
:'''Homelander''': Of course. No, I forgot how tough you were.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hey, I'm not the weirdo who doesn't fuck. I mean, your cock's as useless as your cape. What's the point of being famous if you're not getting your dіck wet?
:'''Homelander''': Oh, my dіck was sopping wet when I pulled it out of Stormfront and wiped it on her fucking chin!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; looks down at the decomposed corpses]'' Ooh, look. More uggos. 
:'''Homelander''': Friends of yours?
:''[They unknowingly set off the motion detector that the Boys set up near the stairs]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Oh, shit. They're right above us.
:'''Butcher''': We best get the fuck outta here. Come on.
:'''Hughie''': Hey. Hey, what about the V1?
:'''Mother's Milk''': If Bombsight has the V1, then it saves us from having to torch it.
:'''Hughie''': What are you talking about? Who's &quot;us&quot;?
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' What? You think the world needs more immortal cunts, do ya?
:'''Hughie''': We need it to save Annie and Kimiko! You've been planning this this whole time, haven't you?!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh. Homelander will hear us.
:'''Hughie''': ''[to Mother's Milk]'' And you, you've just been going along with it again.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We can't take the risk, Hughie. And if she has to be collateral damage so that Homelander dies and my daughter lives, we ain't got no fucking choice!
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, easy for you to say. It won't fucking kill you!
:'''Butcher''': Well, at least he knows when to keep his gob shut and do as he's fuckin' told!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Excuse me?
:'''Frenchie''': No, no, no. We don't have time for this. We need to find a way out now.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Wanna know a little secret, Butcher? I ''cheered'' when I found out that you were dying, 'cause at least we'd finally be done with your miserable ass.
:'''Hughie''': You know, I used to say to these guys, &quot;Don't give up on Butcher. There's good in him fighting to get out.&quot; I was wrong. If there was ''anything'' human in there, it's dead. Underneath that chestful of octo-cocks, you are just a fucking monster.
:'''Butcher''': Well, maybe I like it better that way.
:'''Hughie''': That parasite's not just in you. It ''is'' you. ''You're'' the cancer!
:'''Frenchie''': ''Lower your voices.''
:'''Hughie''': You are just as bad as Homelander, maybe worse. And I'm not gonna let you drag us all down with you.
:'''Butcher''': And whatcha gonna do about it?
:'''Hughie''': I'll fucking kill you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': ''[chuckles]'' Tough guy, my ass.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What?
:'''Homelander''': You, your whole bit. This whole &quot;guts and glory&quot; thing. What a fucking joke. I read your classified file. Your brother won a Silver Star for bravery at [[w:Battle of Anzio|Anzio]], and that's what made you beg your father to buy you a spot in Dr. Vought's trials. Because it killed you to see your brother dripping in all that glory, making you look all the more feeble in comparison.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't know shit about me.
:'''Homelander''': Really? I know that when they tried to inject you with the V, you were so fucking petrified that they had to strap you to the table. And you pissed yourself, crying for your mommy like the whiny, spoiled little rich boy that you are. They gave you the world, and you? You deserve ''nothing.''
:''[Soldier Boy stands by as Homelander walks into a small chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Oh, Christ. What's this shithole now?
:''[Soldier Boy shuts the door while Homelander isn't looking and turns the wheel to lock him inside the chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': What are you doing?!
:''[Soldier Boy bends the wheel with his bare hands and tears it off the door]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, well done. I'll be out of here in 30 seconds!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. Maybe not.
:''[Soldier Boy pulls down a lever to open a radioactive valve. Homelander's face immediately starts blistering from the radiation.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': It's enriched uranium. They'd stick us Supes in there to see if we could survive an atomic bomb. Now, for a normal joe, they'd be dead in minutes. But for you, it's a stomach flu. Good luck, though, getting out of a Supe-proof cell while you're bleeding out of your ass.
:''[Homelander fails to kill Soldier Boy by lasering him. He punches the glass as Soldier Boy walks off.]''
:'''Homelander''': Where are you going?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'm gonna go destroy any V1 that I find, you Triple Crown cock jockey.
:'''Homelander''': Why?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't get it, do you? How much I can't fucking stand you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Homelander trapped inside the uranium chamber]''
:'''Butcher''': ''[laughs]'' Oh, if only the world could see you now. Not so fuckin' super, are ya? You, uh... ''[points at Homelander's face]'' You got a bit of... ''[pause; Homelander coughs]'' Did your dad put you in timeout? Ooh… That's gotta sting, knowin' he'd rather spend eternity all alone than with the likes of you. What's the matter? Cunt got your tongue? Will wonders ever cease? ''[chuckles; lights cigarette]'' Tell me something. If you do get the juice in you, you think that makes you a god, don't ya? Seems like I know you pretty well after all. Which is why I know that even if you had a billion twats garglin' your bollocks and singin' &quot;Hosanna&quot;, you still wouldn't be happy. 'Cause deep down, you're just a weak, thin-skinned, needy little boy. You beat the shit outta your own son. Don't get weaker than that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs weakly while groaning in pain]'' Ryan is alive… because he's strong. 'Cause he's my son. The son of God.
:'''Butcher''': You ain't no god. How's about I go fetch the virus, and then we'll watch you shit your fuckin' spine out?
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You don't have it, do you? The virus.
:'''Butcher''': …Don't I?
:'''Homelander''': No, you don't. You would have used it by now. ''[coughs; laughs hysterically]'' You have no way to stop me, do you? Oh, William. You have no idea what you're up against. You can't intervene. I ''will'' get the V1, and when I do, I'm gonna flay you alive. You, Starlight–All the nonbelievers. You're all gonna ''fuckin' drown'' in your own blood.
:'''Butcher''': I promise you, before I die... I'll fuckin' have you. ''[walks away]''
:'''Homelander''': YOU'RE ALL FUCKING PASTE! I can take what's mine, and that makes this WHOLE FUCKING SHITBALL ''MY BIRTHRIGHT! '''MY DESTINY!'''''

===''&quot;One-Shots&quot;'' [5.05]===
:'''Firecracker''': Next up is a $500 million ad blitz with OOH, e-blasts, print and digital. Ain’t nobody won’t know about the Democratic Church of America… and its chosen prophet.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Prophets are servants.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course, sir. Great point. We’re just trying to ease people into it.
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no. We need to prepare America for my ascension. We must be honest. We must be direct. I like “savior.” Or–Or…
:'''Oh Father''': Lord. Yes, I couldn’t agree more, sir. Religion is not about being meek. We should dominate the seven mountains of society, bring the Kingdom of Heaven to Earth! Amen!
:'''Homelander''': Amen.
:'''Firecracker''': Amen! I love all that!
:'''The Deep''': So fucking dope.
:'''Oh Father''': Easter is just around the corner. How perfect would it be for your second coming to come on the day of Jesus' resurrection?
:'''Homelander''': Mmm… Second coming? Let's be clear: I am not the son of God.
:'''Oh Father''': Well, of course. Many people believe that Jesus is both God incarnate and the son.
:'''Homelander''': Well, that's just confusing. I don't want my church getting involved in all... that.
:'''Firecracker''': Exactly. Besides, if we pull up our timeline, you won't have… ''[picks up a bag with a large book inside]'' this.
:''[Firecracker kneels in front of Homelander, who accepts the book. He takes it out of the bag and sees &quot;The Homelander Bible&quot; with himself embossed on the cover.]''
:'''Oh Father''': We're gonna drag our feet because of a book?
:'''Firecracker''': Not a book. ''The'' book. The Homelander Bible.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause; lifts the book with his hands]'' Heavy.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[quietly]'' What the fuck?
:'''Firecracker''': It's got the Old Testament, the New Testament, and the brand new American Testament, written by A.I. trained on the works of Pat Robertson. See, we need to pass the torch, sir. From Jesus to you. Sir, we don't get more than one chance at a first impression. Are we really gonna rush something this important? We ain't [w:Arby's|Arby's]], after all.
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Firecracker''': We're the [[w:The Cheesecake Factory|Cheesecake Factory]].
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs deeply]'' Okay. We'll do it your way.
:'''Firecracker''': Thank you.
:'''Sister Sage''': You do realize this kind of sudden religious upheaval is likely to generate widespread civil unrest?
:'''Firecracker''': Local law should be able to handle the suburbs, but we could use extra hands in major metros.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, let's recall all Supes stationed overseas. American heroes should be protecting America, not Who-Gives-A-Fuckistan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Firecracker''': We ain't doin' that again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[chuckles]'' That's what you said the last six times.
:'''Firecracker''': No, I really mean it this time.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You seem a little out of it. Did you nut? 'Cause usually, you nut.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' Were you baptized?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah, in front of half of Chestnut Hill. Governor Sproul did the honors. My family kept up appearances, of course. Then, we never set foot in church again.
:'''Firecracker''': I had lunch today with the reverend who baptized me. He's been gettin' heat to switch over to our church. You think Homelander might be open to going easy on him? Just... give him a little more time? I wouldn't ask if it was just anybody, but that man practically raised me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So you didn't nut. You know, this whole Homelander as God shit, it's... it's fucking ridiculous.
:'''Firecracker''': Really? You think so?
:'''Soldier Boy''': If he's the second coming, then what does that make me? Joseph? I mean, talk about the biggest cuck in history. Man trades his best cow to bag some hot-ass virgin, and then God comes and squirts his baby gravy up her meat wallet. Fuck that.
:'''Firecracker''': I guess I've been struggling with where to place Homelander in my heart in relation to Jesus and the Lord.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course I worship Homelander. I mean, he's always been a god to me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Look, I'll tell you this. If there is a God... sure as hell didn't come out of my balls. I gotta go.
:'''Firecracker''': Where you off to?
:'''Soldier Boy''': L.A… ''[snickers]'' I fucking hate L.A.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker is filming her new episode of TruthBomb and starts reading her opening monologue from a teleprompter]''
:'''Firecracker''': Welcome to ''Truthbomb''. Our top story tonight's a personal one. It's the story of my hometown church, Holy Baptist of Daytona. It was the church I grew up in. Sang my hymns from the pews there every Sunday. But that church... That church…
:''[The teleprompter stops scrolling]''
:'''Firecracker''': ''[beat]'' That church... has become a hotbed of Starlighter infestation. And my old pastor, Reverend Greg Dupree, has been infected by Starlight's seditious propaganda. Now... I never told a soul this, but when I was a little girl, the reverend regularly had me over for supper. Alone. ''[pause; chuckles]'' No. Nothing ever happened to me, but... ''[sighs]'' I heard stories about his &quot;Fish Fry Fridays.&quot; And if that ain't code for child groomin', I don't know what is. How much longer are we gonna let these institutional pedo churches diddle our babies? Americans deserve better. They deserve... Homelander. They deserve the Democratic Church of America. ''[starts crying]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Would you like some knee pads?
:'''The Deep''': Sorry, what?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're looking at me like you wanna suck my hog. So I'm asking you if you would like some knee pads.
:'''Homelander''': Go easy on the little guy. He brought me Stan Edgar.
:'''The Deep''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Homelander''': You may leave.
:''[Soldier Boy stays behind with Homelander in the conference room as the rest of The Seven leave]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What crawled up your shithole?
:'''Homelander''': No idea what you mean.
:'''Soldier Boy''': When you're pissy, you tend to make everybody else's lives pissy too. Stan Edgar still stonewalling you?
:'''Homelander''': I've talked to him three times now. Says he has no idea where the V1 is. Heart rate steady as a rock. I'm starting to believe him.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That slippery fuck used to fetch my cоcaіnе. ''[pause]'' You know what? I have an idea. Why don't I take a crack at him? ''[Homelander stares at him]'' What, you don't trust me?
:'''Homelander''': Well, you did lock me in a room with nuclear material and tried to stop me getting the V1, so I'm sure you can understand my hesitance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You could've killed me at Fort Harmony, but you didn't. Maybe I feel like I owe you.
:'''Homelander''': Or maybe you're lying.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. ''[inhales deeply]'' Give me an hour. I'll meet you at Edgar's cell.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hughie''': If you and M.M. still think–
:'''Butcher''': Oh, for fuck's sakes, Hughie. Knock it off with this V1 shite! You're doin' me fuckin' head in! ''[sees his dog Terror eating out of the trash]'' Oi, Terror. Cut it out. Come on. ''[to Hughie]'' Now, listen. If we do find that stuff, we're not makin' any fuckin' vaccines out of it, alright? We're not the department of fuckin' health. We burn that shit before Homelander gets his paws on it, and that's that.
:'''Hughie''': Well, if you wanna kill yourself, knock yourself out, but why do you have to decide for the rest of us?
:'''Butcher''': Oh, 'cause I'm fuckin' right! 'Cause I've always been right! I've been tellin' you lot from the fuckin' start the sky is fallin', and guess what? The sky fuckin' fell.
:'''Hughie''': Well, you kinda helped bring it down.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, don't give me that bollocks. Listen, Homelander thinks he's a fuckin' god. Once he becomes immortal, he's gonna start killin' like one, and we are talkin' millions of people. Now, are you tellin' me you're honestly happy to risk all of that for a life on the run with your girl, knowin' that you could've stopped it? You can live with that, can ya?
:'''Hughie''': What if it was Becca? You'd just let her die?
:'''Butcher''': …I ''did'' let her die.
:'''Hughie''': Look… I know that Homelander comes first. I really do. All I'm asking is that we try. Annie and Kimiko deserve that much.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mister Marathon and Malchemical try to convince Soldier Boy to kill Homelander while he is unconscious]''
:'''Mister Marathon''': Hey, man, we don't have a problem with you. Honest, ''[stutters]'' but–but fuck this fucking guy. You know, he fuckеd my life. Look, if you help us get rid of him, then we all win, and you–you can have The Seven. And I don't even, like, really care if you bring me back or whatever.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need to kill him to get The Seven.
:'''Mister Marathon''': No. Yeah, of course not, but what about all that creepy shit he's doing with that church? I mean, they're rounding up everybody cool. All the hοοkers, the drug dealers.
:'''Malchemical''': They wanna ban pοrn. I mean, they wanna ban fucking abortions!
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay, well, banning abortion would be a big problem for me personally.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Exactly, for all of us. So, if we kill him, we can stop worrying about being cops or gods or asexual weirdos. You know, we can go back to fucking and–and being fucking awesome!
:'''Malchemical''': Look, we know you've got that fucked-up chest blast thing. I mean, I was at Herogasm. I saw it.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Just finish him now. Take away his powers, so we can curb stomp him while we have the chance. 
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' He is a fucking asexual weirdo.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Malchemical''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But as much as it pains me to say this, he's ''my'' fucking asexual weirdo. Nobody fucks my son but me.
:'''Mister Marathon''': What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …That came out wrong.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker sees Homelander sitting on the couch in the Seven common room]''
:'''Firecracker''': Homelander… How was L.A.? Did you catch tonight's ''Truthbomb?''
:'''Homelander''': I did indeed. And it was a real barn-burner. Well done.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[smiles]'' Thank you, sir. That means the world.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' How's sеx with my father? ''[Firecracker's smile disappears]'' Is he good at it? Are you thinking about me when you're making love to him?
:'''Firecracker''': I never meant to cross a line or offend you in...
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Don't fret, little one. I don't care about the sеx, really. But I ''do'' care about your little chats after sеx.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, whatever Soldier Boy told you, I can assure you that I...
:'''Homelander''': You mean your inner turmoil when it comes to me and, uh, Jesus? Are you thinking of Jesus when you're praising me?
:'''Firecracker''': No, you are my one and only savior.
:'''Homelander''': You say that, but your jagged little heart is whirring like a hummingbird. ''[sighs; gets up from the couch]'' You're supposed to worship me, love me and me alone.
:'''Firecracker''': I do.
:'''Homelander''': I believed in you. Turns out, you don't believe in me. ''[pause]'' I need you to collect your things and leave.
:'''Firecracker''': But I ''do'' believe in you. I love you! I am the only one here who ever has! I gave you ''everything!'' I gave you my soul! Everybody else here, they're just... They're just scared of you. Or they want something from you, but I have always loved you for you. Just the strongest, smartest, best man on Earth.
:'''Homelander''': ''[scoffs]'' Man?
:'''Firecracker''': No, no, no, no, no. A god. No. No, ''the'' God. My Lord, that look you used to get when you'd suckle me? I felt like Mother Mary herself. I felt blessed to nourish someone as important as you. ''[pause; Homelander sighs]'' But nothing I ever did was good enough, was it? You cast me out into the cold, which was so much worse than never feeling your warmth in the first place. So all I have been tryin' to do is to get you to see me the way that you used to. Hell, only reason I was with Soldier Boy was that your reflected light is better than no light at all. Please, sir. I love you. We all need love, don't we? Even God.
:''[Homelander reaches his hand out to touch Firecracker's cheek, then kills her by impaling her head on the left wing of an eagle statue]''

===''&quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;'' [5.06]===
:''[Hughie and Annie are laying down on the hood of his car looking at clouds together]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so that one?
:'''Annie''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Hughie''': It’s like a rabbit, but it’s got way too many feet.
:'''Annie''': Really? I see a frog eating a dick. This is definitely in my top five.
:'''Hughie''': Top five what?
:'''Annie''': Things to do with you.
:'''Hughie''':  You’re saying that like… this is the last time we’re gonna get to do this. Hey, listen to me. The guys are gonna find Bombsight, they’ll get the V1. You’re not dying. We will have plenty of time to look for filthy shapes in the clouds.
:'''Annie''': God, I don’t know where it comes from. This… unshakeable hope.
:'''Hughie''': Whenever I’d get upset as a kid, which was a lot… my dad would always say, “You know, son, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react.” And that was infuriating. But then, I spent a year in an internment camp, and I had no control over anything. I’d just lay there at night, just… so fucking angry, hearing my dad’s voice in my head… but then I finally understood what he meant. ‘Cause the only thing I had left was… hope. And it is ''really'' fucking hard to hang on to, but I… I’m trying.
:'''Annie''': I think… you might be low-key the strongest person I know.
:'''Hughie''': I’d prefer high-key… ''[Annie chuckles]'' but thank you.
:'''Annie''': ''[beat; points at the sky]'' Look, it’s–it’s Big Bird eating a dick.
:'''Hughie''': You see an unsettling amount of dicks up there, I’m just saying.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy look around Bombsight's empty house to find the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': You sure this is the right address?
:'''Homelander''': I'm sure.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, there's no sign of Bombsight... or fucking anyone. Maybe Crime Analytics got a bad tip.
:''[Homelander sees a laptop on the table. When he opens it up, a video of him and Stormfront having sex starts playing. He notices Soldier Boy watching along with him and closes the laptop.]'' 
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck was that?
:'''Homelander''': I can explain.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That was Clara. You told me she killed herself.
:'''Homelander''': She did, after Ryan did ''that'' to her. It's his fault.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So then what? You locked her in your apartment like some kind of amputee fuck doll...
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ...and filmed her for kicks?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no! It wasn't like that! I did... I did everything I could to keep her alive, to–to make her happy. ''[pause; Soldier Boy punches him]'' Just listen to me, okay?! It wasn't all like... that. I couldn't let her go. I didn't know how... because I loved her. And so did you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're goddamn right I loved her.
:'''Homelander''': She wouldn't want us fighting over her.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Don't fucking tell me what she would want! You knew her for five minutes; I was with her for decades! 
:'''Homelander''': Hold–Hold on. This–This is a setup. Someone's trying to separate us. This has been plan... Fucking Sage. It's Sage. You see? She's trying to screw with us. ''[Soldier Boy turns around to leave]'' Oh, come on! I can't find the V1 without you!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; turns back around]'' Good. You don't deserve to live forever.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher tries to call Bombsight using one of his old phone numbers, but gets a fax machine instead]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': That a fuckin’ fax machine?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, it’s the last of the numbers she had for him. ''[to Golden Geisha]'' Oi. Twenty-three fuckin' numbers you had for Bombsight, and they’re all fuckin' shite?
:'''Golden Geisha''': Do you know how to delete them? I was telling you the truth. I have no idea where Bombsight is, or how to reach him. So just let me go.
:'''Butcher''': Kimiko, keep an eye on her.
:''[Frenchie joins Butcher and M.M. on their way back to their hideout]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck do we do now?
:'''Butcher''': Fetch us some pliers and put the screws to her. She knows more than she’s lettin’ on.
:'''Frenchie''': Or she doesn’t. I’m sorry, but she’s not that good of an actress.
:''[M.M. and Frenchie draw their weapons when they see Sister Sage inside]''
:'''Sister Sage''': He’s right. ''[sarcastically]'' Ooh, I know. The villain switching sides in the final hour. What a twist, a shock that never happens. But unclench those assholes, fellas. I’m here to help. I’m a free agent now. I came alone. You can shoot me in the heart whenever you like.
:'''Butcher''': That’s a good idea. ''[takes out and cocks his gun]''
:'''Sister Sage''': That would go against our mutual interest.
:'''Butcher''': Which is?
:'''Sister Sage''': Stopping a petulant, laser-eyed narcissist from also becoming immortal. I want him dead as much as you do.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You spent the last couple of years building Homelander up, and now you wanna tear him down? Why the fuck should we trust you?
:'''Sister Sage''': You can’t trust me. Honestly, you shouldn’t, but you will.
:'''Frenchie''': And why would we do that?
:'''Sister Sage''': I know Campbell and Starlight are headed to plant your little virus. You can trace anyone, if you know what to look for. And you baboons, you leave a trail of banana peels wherever you go. I could have stopped you, I could have killed you... but I didn’t.
:'''Butcher''': That virus is gonna wipe out the fuckin’ lot of ya. And you don’t strike me as the suicide type.
:'''Sister Sage''': I will be in my nice, quiet bunker, reading [[w:Ludwig Wittgenstein|Wittgenstein]] in peace. That is, unless that bleached blonde baby gets his hands on V1 and survives. You must have realized by now Granny out there has no clue how to contact Bombsight, but I do. And I can get him here. So... let me help.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': I wanted to say... I'm very sorry about this. I watched every episode of ''Undercover Geisha'' when I was a kid. I loved it, even the parts that were ridiculous racist stereotypes. It meant so much to see someone who looked like me on TV. ''[brief pause]'' We watched with Japanese subtitles. It's how I learned English.
:'''Golden Geisha''': If you're such a big fan, let me go.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Désolé'', but we cannot. Not until we get the V1 that Bombsight possesses.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Wait, that's what you're after? V1? ''[laughs]''
:'''Kimiko''': What–What's so funny?
:'''Golden Geisha''': I'll tell Bombsight to just give it to you. I sure as hell don't want it.
:'''Kimiko''': ...He stole the V1 for you, so you two could be together forever. ''[pause]'' But you didn't take it.
:'''Golden Geisha''': ''[shakes her head]'' I said no... which is why he left. I guess, for him, watching me get old was too painful.
:'''Frenchie''': I'm sorry, I do not understand. Why won't you take it?
:'''Golden Geisha''': To live forever? It'd be torture. ''[scoffs]'' You're both so young. You wouldn't understand.
:'''Kimiko''': Maybe I would.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Summer is only beautiful when you know winter is coming.
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Kimiko]'' Is this how you feel?
:'''Kimiko''': ''[nods]'' Annie and I talked about it. We'd have to... ''[signing]'' We'd have to watch you and Hughie waste away. Neither of us wants to die, but... we don't wanna be vampires either. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Legend leads Homelander inside the Boys' hideout, which is deserted]''
:'''The Legend''': Okay, um... 
:'''Homelander''': No one here.
:'''The Legend''': I grant you, it–it looks like that, yeah. But this–this is their hideout, so I'm sure there's plenty of clues all over here. ''[picks up a receipt]'' Here you go. ''[Homelander sighs]'' Oh, no. Well, this is nothing. But, you know, they have to have left something behind, you know?
:'''Homelander''': ''[looks at the receipt; chuckles]'' Hmmph. It's not nothing.
:'''The Legend''': It's a Taco Bell receipt. 
:'''Homelander''': No, ''this is Sage!'' Taunting me! 
:'''The Legend''': Okay.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs frustratingly; sits on bed]'' This makes no sense. This makes no sense. This makes no sense! ''[chuckles]'' You said I would get the V1. You said I'd be a god. Did I do something wrong? Did I fail you? I did everything you asked me to. I gave my boy up. Please, don't leave me here to just rot. Don't just let me become ''nothing'' like ''him.'' Please…
:'''The Legend''': I gotta assume… The only reason you're saying all this stuff is, you're... You're not gonna let me walk out of here alive, are you? Yeah? Okay. Yeah. ''[pause]'' Alright, look, kid. I've been around a long time and I… This is just how it goes. You know all those old Supes at the home? Every one of them had their moments in the sun and they all thought it was gonna go on forever. And every one of them got shoved out in the end. They all got shoved out. All of them. And I know what I'm talking about; I did the shoving. I mean, look at Goldie. One minute, she's on the set of ''Undercover Geisha'', getting finger-popped by Lorenzo Lamas. The next, she's shilling for VoughtAlert necklaces and Activia poop yogurt.
:'''Homelander''': Geisha sells VoughtAlert necklaces?
:'''The Legend''': Guess you don't watch your own news channel. The point is, look, there comes a day… I got shoved out, too. Never saw it coming. Did not see that coming, and I fought it like hell. But in the end... bupkis. There is a natural order to things. And the more you fight the inevitable, the more the inevitable just… cunt-punts you. ''[pats Homelander's shoulder]'' Yep.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; gets up]'' You're not scared of me.
:'''The Legend''': No, I'm not scared of you. I… I feel for you, kid. I do. I mean, you're a fucking whackjob. But, you know, there's talent. So… No surprise there. ''[pause]'' So, there you go. Do what you gotta do.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' ...You can go.
:'''The Legend''': I–I can go?
:'''Homelander''': Leave. No words. Just go. Now. Go. ''Now.''
:'''The Legend''': Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
:''[After The Legend leaves the Boys' hideout, Homelander makes a call on his cell phone]''
:'''Operator''': How can I help you, sir? 
:'''Homelander''': I need the tracking coordinates for a VoughtAlert necklace.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Tough skin or not, I can still break your fucking neck!
:'''Bombsight''': Ben, stop. Please.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; lets Bombsight go]'' Goddammit.
:'''Bombsight''': ''[beat]'' I can't give it to you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goldie doesn't even wanna take it.
:'''Bombsight''': Then maybe someday, I'll find someone who will!
:'''Soldier Boy''': You were always gonna fuck it up with Goldie anyway. You could never hold down a girl! It was either a smack needle up your dick or— 
:'''Bombsight''': Having to stand next to you? You were everyone's favorite from the start, especially Clara. Everything they wanted us to be, everything they were working towards, they saw it in you. I fucking hated you for it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No. No, I wasn't everything Clara wanted. I didn't know how to be.
:'''Bombsight''': But you loved her. What wouldn't you give to have her back... forever?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …I really fuckin' hate you.
:'''Bombsight''': No shit.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But we don't have to kill each other. I can take away your immortality... and your powers. You won't have to live forever alone. Then, you and Goldie can spend whatever time you have left like you want.
:'''Bombsight''': Why would you do that for me?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd do it for the V1.
:''[Bombsight hands a case to Soldier Boy, who opens it to find a V1 syringe inside. The Boys hear an explosion from far away and run towards it. Cut to Bombsight looking at the wound near his shoulder.]''
:'''Bombsight''': This is the first time I've seen my blood in... I can't remember.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander finds Soldier Boy with the V1 syringe he received from Bombsight. The Boys and Sister Sage watch them from the nearby woods.]''
:'''Homelander''': Don't. I don't wanna fight you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks down at the syringe]'' You know, Clara used to say the craziest shit. That I was the strongest Supe alive, the ultimate expression of what we could be... but she was wrong. ''[pause]'' She hadn't met you yet.
:''[Soldier Boy offers the syringe to Homelander, who accepts it]''
:'''Butcher''': No.
:'''Sister Sage''': I don't understand. He wasn't supposed to... It's impossible.
:'''Homelander''': But you hate me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I love her more... and this is what she would want.
:''[Homelander lasers his left arm and injects the V1 into his wound. His eyes immediately start flickering and he kneels to the ground in pain. The Boys watch in horror as Homelander screams and shoots powerful lasers into the sky.]''
:'''Butcher''': '''''Run.'''''

===''&quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;'' [5.07]===
:''[A V1-empowered Homelander sits in President Calhoun's chair in the Oval Office. He hears a knock at the door]''
:'''Homelander''': Come in! ''[in a cheerful tone, as Ashley and Calhoun enter]'' Hello, you two. Isn't it a beautiful day?
:'''Calhoun''': ''[nervously]'' You're welcome to use this office as long as you need. 
:'''Homelander''': I know. Let's get right to it! While Oh Father is hard at work on my divine unveiling, I have a few action items I need you to handle.
:'''Ashley''': Of course. Anything, sir.
:'''Homelander''': The Democratic Church of America is to be the ''official'' national religion, based around the one true god: Me. 
:'''Calhoun''': Great idea.
:'''Homelander''': I want every boundary between church and state dissolved. I want troops sent into every sanctuary city that took in Starlighters. Issue an executive order banning abortion. Also, breastfeeding is now mandatory. Babies need their mothers, not fake milk. Actually, outlaw that, too.
:'''Ashley''': Sir? 
:'''Homelander''': ''[intensely] Ban nut milk.'' The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was making you think nuts were milk. ''[snickers after a short silence]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': Those are all, uh, fantastic ideas, sir, um... I'll run them by Congress– 
:'''Homelander''': No, disband it.
:'''Calhoun''': Sorry? 
:'''Homelander''': Disband Congress. It's better for freedom. 
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, I don't really have that authority. 
:'''Homelander''': ''[frowns]'' Ashley, do me a favor. Read Steven's mind. I want to know if he's a true believer. 
:'''Calhoun''': But of... course I am, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific! Then you have nothing to worry about. ''[gets up and steps over to Ashley]'' Do it. 
:''[He rips off her wig, and she gasps and covers her face in shame as &quot;Back Ashley&quot; is revealed]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': ''[revolted]'' What the fuck is that? 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': Don't look!
:'''Homelander''': Don't make me ask again. 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': ''[stammering in fear]'' Sir, I–I... Sir, I...
:'''Ashley''': ''[sighs; steels herself and turns back to Homelander]'' He's terrified of you, sir. He thinks you're just a tiny bit psychotic.
:'''Homelander''': Steven! ''[steps towards Calhoun, glaring intensely]'' Here I am. A living god. ''[rests his hands on Calhoun's shoulders]'' Right before your eyes. And still, your faith wavers? ''[beat; Calhoun is clearly too terrified to answer]'' It's okay. No, I'm not angry. ''[clasps his head gently]'' But I ''am'' disappointed.
:''[He crushes Calhoun's head into a pulp, then wipes the blood off his hands on a sofa. An utterly terrified Ashley stares at Calhoun's body as Homelander sits back down at the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie sees Kimiko suffering from radiation exposure inside a homemade uranium chamber while Butcher and Frenchie watch]''
:'''Hughie''': What the fuck is going on in here?
:'''Kimiko''': I'm okay.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' The second she's ready, we go the next dose, alright?
:'''Hughie''': &quot;Next dose?&quot; Are you kidding?! Look at her! What are you doing?
:'''Butcher''': Plan fuckin' B, my son. If at first you don't succeed, find another hole to fuck. See, Soldier Boy's flashy tіt blast got me thinkin', he–he weren't born with that power. The Ivans gave it to him through a consistent application of scientific methodology.
:'''Frenchie''': They threw an atom bomb worth of radiation at him.
:'''Butcher''': Right. So, usin' the research we nicked from 'em a few donkeys back, me and Frenchie are doin' the same thing to Kimiko. She gets Soldier Boy's power, she tіt-blasts Homelander, bees and fuckin' honey.
:'''Hughie''': So when we kept asking what you two were up to, and you kept saying, &quot;Mind your fuckin' business, cunt,&quot; it was this?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah.
:'''Hughie''': Butcher, this is... the most insane-ass shit I ever heard. In a few weeks, you're gonna somehow do what it took the Russians over a decade?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, 'cause unlike the Ivans, we got us a livin', breathin' supercomputer bunked down in student services.
:'''Hughie''': Sage? All she does is self-medicate and binge [[w:Love Island (American TV series)|''Love Island'']]. This could fucking kill Kimiko. Frenchie…
:'''Frenchie''': No. It's not my wish.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck Butcher. Who cares what he wants?
:''[Kimiko coughs and stumbles out of the uranium chamber]'' 
:'''Kimiko''': Not Butcher. ''[panting heavily]'' Me. It's my call.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Annie''': Oh Father's up to something big at Vought Studios, but we don't know what. Could be a trap.
:'''Frenchie''': Could be.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' You stay here with Kimiko and Sage. We'll bust into the studio, nab the holy twat, stomp on his bollocks till he gives us Homelander's next move. And then I'll do the cunt and we'll call it an honest day's work, yeah?
:'''Hughie''': No. Quit acting like we're going on a milk run. It's over. ''[voice breaking]'' We lost.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' [[w:Victoria Beckham|Posh Spice]] was easily the most shit member of [[w:Spice Girls|the squad]]. Could barely sing or dance. No discernible talent whatsoever. Wasn't even featured on [[w:Wannabe|&quot;Wannabe&quot;]], but did that stop her? No. You look at her now... still married with [[w:David Beckham|Becks]]. Fifteen engagement rings, 32 ''Vogue'' covers, inducted by Prince William into the Order of the bloody British Empire. Even I doubted her move into women's apparel, but her line is a staple at Paris fuckin' Fashion Week. You see, despite her obvious disadvantages–includin' a tragic inability to smile–she never gave up, and we ain't givin' up either.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shakes his head]'' Your fuckin' pep talks.
:'''Frenchie''': Terrible.
:'''Annie''': The worst.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, bollocks. That was a fuckin' knockout.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Alone and depressed, The Deep tosses an aluminum can into the sea. A hammerhead shark appears and [[w:Samuel L. Jackson|speaks to him]]]''
:'''Xander''': Yo! You gonna get that, bro?
:'''The Deep''': Xander! ''[chuckles]'' Hey, what you doing here? So good to see you, man.
:'''Xander''': We wouldn't want a little guppy to get caught in that can, my man. Come on in, grab it. ''[swims in circles]''
:'''The Deep''': I've had such a fucked day, man. You wouldn't believe it, bro.
:'''Xander''': Yeah. Get in the water, man.
:'''The Deep''': No. You're not... You're not listening to me–
:'''Xander''': ''[angrily]'' Ah, shut the fuck up! We know you were responsible for the pipeline genocide. Remember March 15th, motherfucker!
:'''The Deep''': No... No, wait, that–That wasn't me, man!
:'''Xander''': If you step one foot, one fucking stupid-ass simian toe in the water ''ANYWHERE''—an ocean, a stream, a fucking puddle—on God, son, you're dead! We're gonna ''KILL YOU!'' You understand, you dumb motherfucker?! Water is fucking off limits to you! ''YOU ARE '''DEAD''' TO US! [swimming away]'' Bitch-ass!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy sees Homelander standing over a scale model of a Homelander-themed amusement park]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': The fuck is all this?
:'''Homelander''': Hey. HomeLand. Next phase of the reboot. Showing the faithful my boundless love for them. ''[points at a monument of himself]'' That there? The Homelander Mount. We're saying that this is where the angel visited me, and I ascended to godhood.
:'''Soldier Boy''': …Right.
:'''Homelander''': You're gonna love this. ''[waves his hand over a rollercoaster]'' This area here? We're calling it: &quot;Soldier Boy! Father of God!&quot; All the fastest rides are gonna be there, and every night, there's gonna be a ticker tape parade, honoring you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' I'm gonna head down to Bogotá. Figure I'll snort and fuck my way through the banana republics.
:'''Homelander''': Uh... When are you coming back?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Probably not for… ever.
:'''Homelander''': What? Look, if you don't like the park, I mean, forget it. I don't–I don't care about any of it. You want hοοker and blow? I'll get you all the drugs and all the wrinkly old whοres in America.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No, you're not hearing me.
:'''Homelander''': No, you're not hearing ''me.'' I am where I am because you chose me. To help me. So, I want you to have whatever you want.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What I want is to get away.
:'''Homelander''': From what? ''[scoffs]'' Or from who?
:'''Soldier Boy''': This just ain't my bag, kid.
:'''Homelander''': I welded your shield back together, you never use it. I hired you a three-star Michelin chef, all you ever order is meatloaf and chili. I even had L.J. mock up a new super suit for you. 
:''[Homelander pulls out a poster of Soldier Boy wearing an American flag-patterned suit]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, God. See, that's what I'm talking about.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, God? What?!
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't want that. And another thing: I gave you the V1 because of Clara. Because that's what she would've wanted. This was never gonna be a &quot;playing catch on the front lawn&quot;, &quot;fixing up the old Impala&quot; bullshit. You're too weird.
:'''Homelander''': Stop fucking saying that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': And you're no god. No angel came to you. You had a wet dream about some chick with big, juicy tіts. If that makes you a god, then I'm a fucking god every night.
:'''Homelander''': '''I ''AM'' GOD!'''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' Would it help if I said, &quot;It's not you, it's me&quot;?
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs softly]'' If you wanna go, go.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sighs; pats Homelander on the back]'' Good luck, son.
:''[Homelander suddenly grabs Soldier Boy from behind and puts him in a chokehold until he passes out]''
:'''Homelander''': I love you.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mother's Milk''': Help me out here. In the movie, was Homelander God, the [[w:Second Coming|Second Coming]], or Jesus' brother? 'Cause the world-building in there was fuckеd.
:'''Annie''': Does it even matter? I mean, they will believe whatever he tells them. What is the fucking point of saving people if they don't wanna be saved? This is what they want.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[beat]'' Alright. So, back when my Gramps got killed by Soldier Boy, shit got rough. Neighborhood kids laughed, called me soft, shit like that. And then one day, I find this pigeon on the sidewalk, wing busted. He was in bad shape. So, I run inside, grab a shoebox and a first aid kit, and come to start nursin' it. I figure, if I can save just this one life, maybe it might somehow make up for... Anyway, those same fuckin' kids, they found out. And so now, it don't take a genius to go from Marvin Milk to Mother's Milk. &quot;Yo, Mother's Milk, you letting that sky rat suck on your tіttіеs or that dіck?&quot; They were relentless. Right up until the day when that little bird flew outta my house and right over their heads, good as new. And you know what, Annie? Here's the crazy thing: I loved my new name. 'Cause I loved helpin' people. I loved being kind, makin' my family proud. That name was a badge of honor for me. Now, last year, locked up in that detention center, something changed. My heart, it just got scarred over. Like the world had just broken it one too many times. And yeah, it got easier, just being cynical. Checking out. But I also hated myself a lot more. I went from being a mοthеrfuckеr with a heart to just being a mοthеrfuckеr. But you know what? Givin' a shit in a world where nobody gives a shit? It ain't soft. It's hard as hell… and that's the real me. ''[pause]'' And that's the real you, too.

===''&quot;Blood and Bone&quot;'' [5.08]===
:'''Homelander''': It's alright. I'm not here to hurt you.
:'''Ryan''': You mean like last time?
:'''Homelander''': Look at you. No harm done.
:'''Ryan''': How'd you find me?
:'''Homelander''': Crime Analytics caught wind of a young man flying outside Kolvereid. Tends to draw attention.
:'''Ryan''': I don't want your help.
:'''Homelander''': I know. You've made that very clear. But you're also the son of God, and you should not be sleeping in a barn. You can have a whole floor of the Tower. Do what you want with it, come and go as you please.
:'''Ryan''': I don't wanna be anywhere near you.
:'''Homelander''': Everything is different now. I've ascended. I'm immortal.
:'''Ryan''': Then, why do you give a shit about what happens to me?
:'''Homelander''': Because we're family. ''[Ryan scoffs]'' We have the same blood pumping through our veins.
:'''Ryan''': Yeah, well, you've got your shitty racist dad. So you don't need me.
:'''Homelander''': No, Soldier Boy doesn't matter. You and I, that's all that matters. I know you, because I ''am'' you. And you're me.
:'''Ryan''': Dad… Get fuckеd. I am nothing like you. You were already the most powerful person on Earth. And you were a lonely, miserable piece of fucking shit, throwing tantrums when you didn't get what you want. Why the fuck would more power make you any better? It's just going to make you an even more lonely, miserable piece of shit. Scaring people into calling you God doesn't make you God. And deep down, you know that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; tearfully sighs]'' It's okay. You don't know what's going on. It's okay… but you will.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[After M.M. kills Oh Father by blocking his mouth with a metal mouth gag, causing his head to explode and spill blood all around]''
:'''Hughie''': I really need a new job.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''The Deep''': It was all a test. Yes! The universe is rewarding me for my loyalty, just like [[w:Sean Connery|Sean Connery]] rewarded [[w:Kevin Costner|Costner]] at the end of ''[[w:Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves|Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves]]''!
:'''Hughie''': Sweet ''Jesus'', you're a moron.
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander gives his Easter address from the Oval Office and begins reading from a teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': My fellow Americans... Happy Easter. A day commemorating Jesus, who, as we all know, was tortured, stripped of his dignity and killed. And that's all well and good. But you're Americans. You deserve a God who doesn't die. A God who fights back. A God you can believe in. Well, today, I bring you good news. Recently, I was visited by an exquisite angel bearing the gift of revelation. As I bathed in her light, her heavenly lips spilled sweet truth into my ear, and I was awakened to my true purpose. Not just to be the world's greatest hero but to save all humanity. To be... the Second Coming. But in a way, really, I'm the First Coming. America... I am the Lord. Your savior. I am your God. And as such, I'm going to usher this world into a new, golden dawn. An age in which your God moves among you, seen and heard. Your prayers are truly answered when you visit homelander.church. And all I ask for in return… I simply ask that you open your hearts and put your faith in me. Those who accept my truth will be welcomed into a land of milk and honey. For I am your Fa…
:''[Homelander stares blankly at the teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': I am… ''[beat]'' But no matter what I do, some of you people will never accept me into your hearts. Never love me. Never believe in me. And to such heretics, I offer oblivion. And those who seek to destroy me, you will die the most horrible of deaths, as befits your wickedness. My reign will last forever, and when this world is cold and dead, I shall remain... eternal. God of the ashes.
:''[Butcher and Kimiko suddenly break into the Oval Office]''
:'''Butcher''': Evening, cunts. Daddy's home. 
:'''Homelander''': William. ''[pause]'' I was starting to think you weren't going to hold up your end of our deal.
:'''Butcher''': Scorched earth?
:'''Homelander''': A shame about the French one. How's your little science experiment going without him?
:'''Butcher''': Let's find out.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander is now at Butcher's mercy after losing his powers]''
:'''Butcher''': Shock and awe, my son. Blood and fuckin' bone.
:''[Homelander charges toward Butcher, who grabs Homelander's fist with his left hand and punches him three times with the other. Butcher grabs Homelander again and prepares to land another punch.]''
:'''Butcher''': This... is for Frenchie.
:''[Butcher punches Homelander in the face repeatedly, knocking him down to the floor and leaving him cowering in fear]''
:'''Homelander''': Stop! You owe me. All the times I could've killed you and I didn't, I let you live. I'll–I'll give you Vought. ''[Butcher picks up his crowbar]'' I'll give you Vought, alright? You can do whatever you want with it, okay? I'll–I'll... Becca. You want your wife back? I'll have a shape-shifter be her. ''[whimpers]'' Just tell me! I'll fucking suck your dіck! Please! I'll do anything! You want me to eat shit? I'll eat your fucking shit! I'll eat your fucking shit on live TV! ''[pause; Butcher knocks him down against the desk]'' Madelyn, you promised me. It's not real. ''[to Butcher]'' You can't fucking do this. ''You can't fucking do this! '''I am the Homelander!'''''
:'''Butcher''': No. Nah, you ain't nothing. And this... This is for my Becca.
:'''Homelander''': No, no...
:''[Butcher stabs Homelander in the head with the straight end of the crowbar. He lifts it up, breaking Homelander's skull open and spilling his brains all over the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie confronts Butcher at Vought Tower to stop him from releasing the Supe virus. Butcher is looking out the window when Hughie enters the main conference room.]''
:'''Butcher''': Traffic?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. Accident on the bridge. Should have taken the tunnel.
:'''Butcher''': ''[turns around]'' I thought you might try to stop me. But you shouldn't have come alone. You should've brought a fuckin' army.
:'''Hughie''': No. If you were gonna release the virus, you would've done it already.
:'''Butcher''': Unless... I'm waitin' for all the Supe cunts to clock in for the day shift. Not much point shootin' spunk into an empty fuckin' building, now is there?
:'''Hughie''': Okay, well, now I kinda wish I brought an army. Where's the virus, Butcher?
:'''Butcher''': I dumped it in the sprinkler tank. Frenchie's idea, God rest the mad bastard. ''[picks up remote controller]'' All I gotta do is pull this trigger, and it rains kill juice on all 99 floors. Shit will be worldwide within a couple of days.
:'''Hughie''': Why? I mean, we already won.
:'''Butcher''': Won? No, we just gave 'em a black eye. As long as there's Vought, there'll be Supes. And sooner or later, some cunt that's already out there becomes the next Homelander, and you fuckin' know it. No. We need to end the whole bloody notion of Supes, and we need to make it permanent. I mean, you can see it, right? This is it. This is the moment.
:'''Hughie''': You dragged me through fucking hell... for this. For now. To be your... canary. Or your Kessler. Or Lenny. But here's the thing: You don't need me for that. You never did. It's already in you. I can see it. You might have a broken fucking heart, but you have one. You are not a monster, Butcher. It just hurts to be human.
:'''Butcher''': I'm sorry, mate. Superheroes... are done.
:'''Hughie''': ''[pulls out gun]'' I can't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Petit Hughie and his gun. Takes some big bollocks to pull the trigger on a mate.
:'''Hughie''': ''[aims the gun at Butcher]'' I will if I have to.
:'''Butcher''': ''[chuckles]'' Nah. You ain't got the…
:''[Butcher takes the gun from Hughie, punches him and throws him across the room]''
:'''Butcher''': Stay down.
:''[Butcher sees Hughie staring at the remote and rushes to take it before Hughie does. Hughie quickly gets up and trades more blows with Butcher, spitting blood onto the floor after getting punched hard in the gut. Eventually, Butcher gains the upper hand and picks up the remote while Hughie lies helpless on the floor. Before he can pull the remote trigger, he has a hallucination of Lenny lying in Hughie's place. He gets shot in the abdomen by Hughie as he moves his finger away from the trigger. Realizing what he did, Hughie rushes to Butcher's side.]''
:'''Hughie''': I'm sorry. Um... I didn't wanna–I didn't wanna do that. Um... I'm–I'm gonna call an ambulance, okay?
:'''Butcher''': I wouldn't bother. It's alright, Hughie. I gave you no choice. I... I wasn't gonna stop. All the blood... and shite I put you through... and none of it made a blind bit of difference. You–You stayed yourself... no matter what I done. ''[coughs]''
:'''Hughie''': Hey.
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know what to do.
:'''Hughie''': You don't need to do anything.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat; Hughie holds his hand]'' You really are... the spittin' of Lenny.
:''[Butcher slowly loses his grip on Hughie as he dies]'' 
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': ''[last lines; to his and Annie's unborn daughter]'' Take care of your mom, Robin.
==External links==
{{The Boys}}
[[Category:The Boys (TV series) seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>3it3eo2t3htui1g9fomlibualo7nl9a</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943886</id>
      <parentid>3943883</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:27:15Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Constantin1995</username>
        <id>3215997</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943886</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="89872" sha1="haypjpev5dayk66a9kblawb2sx63sd1" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Season''' [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 1|1]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 2|2]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 3|3]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 4|4]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 5|5]]  [[The Boys (TV series)|Main]]
----
'''''[[w:The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]''''' is an American superhero television series developed by Eric Kripke for [[w:Amazon Prime Video|Amazon Prime Video]]. Based on the comic book of the same name by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson, it follows the eponymous team of vigilantes as they combat superpowered individuals who abuse their abilities.

==''&quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;'' [5.01]==
:''[Homelander meets with Sister Sage after the Flight 37 video gets leaked to the public by Annie]''
:'''Sister Sage''': We knew this would happen sooner or later. We've been ready. In the last 24 hours, we have flooded the zone with so much disinformation, people can't tell their clit from their collarbone. The share price is only down half a point. Besides that, damage is minimal.
:'''Homelander''': ''[points at open book]'' What's this?
:'''Sister Sage''': That is a Gutenberg Bible. Martin Shkreli sold it to me at discount.
:'''Homelander''': You're really on top of the world, huh? Peter Thiel, the Obamas calling you for advice. Everyone loves you. 
:'''Sister Sage''': You can't really think I care.
:'''Homelander''': Maybe you didn't used to.
:'''Sister Sage''': It's all for you. The higher the share price, the happier the billionaires. The more you get to do whatever the fuck you wanna do.
:'''Homelander''': Are you aware that NNC is calling me a murderer? Saying that maybe I even did something to my son?
:'''Sister Sage''': No. Everyone knows that Ryan is... ''[sighs]'' Sorry. That he is at boarding school. In Svalbard. ''[chuckling]'' That story's holding. We're good.
:'''Homelander''': And how–how about you, Sage? Are you… good?
:'''Sister Sage''': I'm fine.
:'''Homelander''': You're not distracted at all? After Thomas Godolkin dumped you? You're not numbing the heartache by stabbing your brain?
:'''Sister Sage''': No.
:'''Homelander''': Then, just tell me. How did Starlight get in the building? ''[beat; exhales]'' I WAS '''HUMILIATED!''' As if people don't hate me enough!
:'''Sister Sage''': Your numbers are north of 96.
:'''Homelander''': Anyone can smile for the pollsters, sure, but millions of them are still Starlighters in their hearts! Where it counts! Have you seen the memes? Have you seen the ''memes'' about me?! ''[brief pause]'' Posting them should be a crime.
:'''Sister Sage''': Yes, but we can't go... ''[notices Homelander glaring at her]'' Oh, you're serious. Uh, sir... ''[chuckles]'' Ongoing conflict is useful to us. It keeps people afraid…
:'''Homelander''': Shut up.
:'''Sister Sage''': …which is exactly what we–
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no, no! NO! You promised me Caesar.
:'''Sister Sage''': He was stabbed by his best friends.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, well, I can relate to that! But I need people to be ''devoted!'' To '''''me!'''''
:'''Sister Sage''': May I speak freely?
:'''Homelander''': Give it a shot.
:'''Sister Sage''': I told you, no matter how much power you amass, it will not make you happy.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You know what's gonna make me happy? I think I'll be happy when Starlight and William Butcher are corpses. I want it leaked that in three days, we are going to execute Hugh Campbell, Milk, and the... French one. That'll draw out Starlight and Butcher, and then I will take care of this once and for all.
:'''Sister Sage''': Consider it done, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, wow. Your skin is so oily, like hugging a McRib.
:'''Annie''': Wait, did you—Did you just... How?!
:'''Kimiko''': Speech therapy and fucking therapy therapy and so much fucking TikTok.
:'''Annie''': Well, you sure sound like you're on TikTok.
:'''Butcher''': Sixteen-hour flight and not a fucking peep.
:'''Kimiko''': 'Cause all you can say is &quot;Oi, oi, oi. Cunt, cunt, cunt&quot;.
:'''Butcher''': I liked her better with her mouth shut.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Annie''': Took you long enough. Slowing down in your old age?
:'''A-Train''': ''[laughs and hugs Annie]'' Fuck you, [[w:Killing of JonBenét Ramsey|JonBenét]].
:'''Kimiko''': You guys are friends?
:'''A-Train''': You talk?
:'''Kimiko''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Annie''': Reggie's been helping us out for a while.
:'''A-Train''': ''[takes drink from Annie]'' Thanks. Where is everybody? ''[pause]'' I heard about the Pittsburgh raid last month. Go Marie Moreau. How's her team doing?
:'''Annie''': Yeah, they're scoring a few wins, but not nearly enough.
:'''A-Train''': So, what's with the 911?
:'''Annie''': Hughie, M.M. and Frenchie are gonna be executed tomorrow, so we need your help to break them out.
:'''A-Train''': Of a Vought prison camp? You're fucking crazy.
:'''Annie''': Listen, you don't have to fight, okay? We just need you to run them to the extraction point. It's easy.
:'''A-Train''': Easy. Right. You know Homelander's gonna be waiting. I can't.
:'''Annie''': We know how to kill him, okay? But we need Frenchie to do it.
:'''A-Train''': Great. Well, good luck with that.
:'''Annie''': Hey, are you gonna keep running forever? I mean, if we're gonna really take him out, we need your help.
:'''A-Train''': So what, I'm just supposed to join this little fucking supergroup?
:'''Annie''': I mean, we are down one asshоlе, so… Yeah, maybe.
:'''A-Train''': ''[pause]'' No.
:'''Annie''': Why not?
:'''A-Train''': I said I can't.
:'''Annie''': I know you're scared…
:'''A-Train''': No, I'm not fucking scared! I got a family to protect. ''[Annie sighs]'' I can't.
:'''Annie''': I get it, I do. Me, too. ''[pause]'' Keep them safe.
:''[Annie and Kimiko watch A-Train run off]''
:'''Kimiko''': We shouldn't have let him go.
:'''Annie''': No. Homelander fuckеd him up. Fuckеd me up, too. We're gonna need an Exit Plan B.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk go over their escape plan]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so we hit the east gate.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Oui'', Petit Hughie, when the guards change shift.
:'''Hughie''': And we go at dawn.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We've been through this.
:'''Hughie''': I know. I just wanna go over it a few more times just so I can get it in my head.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hughie… ''[holds out moonshine jar]'' Take a fuckin' drink, will you?
:'''Hughie''': No, thanks.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shrugs; to Frenchie]'' ''Mon ami?''
:'''Frenchie''': You know I quit.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Leave it up to you to have your shit the tightest you've ever had it in a fuckin' internment camp.
:'''Frenchie''': Yeah, what about you? Have you been eating the fresh produce I smuggle in?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Moonshine's got corn in it. ''[takes a sip of moonshine]''
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Hughie]'' Hey… Don't worry. Annie will be fine. She's strong.
:'''Hughie''': ''[takes liquor bottle from Frenchie]'' Kimiko, too. 
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Y'all mοthеrfuckеrs are trippin'. Y'all don't know what the fuck's going on with them. ''[to Frenchie]'' Hey, you don't even know where Kimiko's at.
:'''Hughie''': What, so you don't think you're gonna see Janine and Monique again? Is that it?
:'''Mother's Milk''': What I know is that they're a shit ton safer without me making a mess out of their lives.
:'''Hughie''': M.M., you're the strongest guy I know. We've been in tougher spots than this.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, I did two tours in the 3/8 in Farah Province. The shit I saw would ''fuck you up''. And even that was ''Emily in Paris'' compared to the shit that we looking at here. And even if we make it outta here, we ain't surviving this fuckin' war. We are dead men walking. Chin-chin, mοthеrfuckеrs.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie is shocked to see all of his prison bunkmates brutally murdered in their bunker. He sees Homelander sitting on his bed reading from his journal.]''
:'''Homelander''': &quot;Well, Annie, today marks two months. It's a little insane how much I miss you. I've been having trouble eating. Every day, I see people giving up, but not me. Because I have you.&quot; It's very, very sweet.
:'''Hughie''': They were innocent.
:'''Homelander''': Oh… ''[looks briefly at one of the corpses]'' Well, I'd hardly call them innocent. They lied to me. Played dumb about your little stash in the wall there. We've known about that for quite some time, but I just wanted to give you a little hope.
:'''Hughie''': You're not the one who gave it to me, asshоlе.
:'''Homelander''': Ooh, I like Internment Camp Hughie. She's zesty.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck you. Do it.
:'''Homelander''': What?
:'''Hughie''': Kill me.
:'''Homelander''': Not until we flush out Butcher and Starlight.
:'''Hughie''': You think they're dumb enough to just walk right into your trap?
:'''Homelander''': Let's not insult each other. We both know they're coming. ''[throws the journal at Hughie's feet]'' Do you remember when we first met?
:'''Hughie''': How could I forget? 
:'''Homelander''': Believe Festival. I tried to cleanse your soul. I remember thinking... ''[sighs]'' &quot;Why him?&quot; What does Starlight see in this gangly simp that reeks of fear and Strawberry Smoothie kids' shampoo? You know, William and Victoria Neuman love you, too. I mean, I get it from your perspective. You're punching up. Good for you. But why are they so hopelessly devoted to such staggering mediocrity? Why would Starlight and Butcher piss away their lives to try and rescue you?
:'''Hughie''': Because I'd do it for them.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher and Kimiko find Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk tied up and gagged by Homelander when they break into the Vought internment camp]''
:'''Hughie''': Butcher?! Oh, fuck.
:'''Homelander''': ''[waves]'' Surprise. Welcome, William. ''[to Kimiko]'' And you. The gang is almost all here. Oh, and uh, ''[looks down at Mother's Milk]'' you never told me that this one's nickname is... Mother's Milk. ''[licks his lips; laughs]'' Okay. So, what's the big plan? What, are you gonna sandbag me with the Godolkin virus? ''[Butcher looks shocked]'' Yes. I know all about it.
:'''Kimiko''': Suck my fat dіck!
:''[Homelander lasers Kimiko in half. The top half of her body falls to the floor.]''
:'''Homelander''': Hey, where's Starlight? Just doesn't feel like a party without my little lightning bug here... ''[pause; stares at Butcher]'' Jesus Christ, William. You've got a viper's nest in there. I'd heard about it, of course. But seeing it for myself, it's uh… it–it's incredible. I mean, it's fucking disgusting of course, but it's–it's beautiful. What you've done to yourself, what you've become… and you did all that for me? ''[pause]'' Now that… ''that'' is devotion. You know, William, I know we're not exactly equals, but I'm compelled to say… you are the only one that's ever challenged me. And there's a part of me that will be sad to see you go.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A-Train gets badly injured while being chased by Homelander, who eventually catches up to him]''
:'''Homelander''': Looks like someone ''can'' catch the A-Train after all. End of the road, buddy boy.
:''[A-Train starts laughing at Homelander as he gets back up]''
:'''Homelander''': What's so funny?
:'''A-Train''': What was I so afraid of? You are… fucking nothing.
:'''Homelander''': Really?
:''[Homelander lifts A-Train and pins him against a tree]''
:'''A-Train''': ''[grunts]'' Really. You're just an empty fucking suit. Take away these powers… and what are you, huh? A pathetic… weak… sniveling fucking loser.
:''[Homelander wraps his hand around A-Train's neck and slowly chokes him. A-Train continues laughing until Homelander snaps his neck, killing him instantly.]''

==''&quot;Teenage Kix&quot;'' [5.02]==
:'''Oh Father''': We fight hellfire with holy fire! We fight with the ballot box! We fight with the ammo box! Matthew 10:34 — &quot;I do not come to bring the peace, but a sword&quot;! You are not here to be blessed, you are here to do war!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Goddammit, A-Train. It didn't need to come to this. I don't know, you left me no choice! I know that my leadership style can be stern, but it was for your own good! I like to think of myself as the big brother that you never had. You remember that girlfriend you had? Uh... Pop... Popfang. Betrayed us both, to William Butcher, no less. Huge mess, your fault. What did I do? ''What did I do?'' I gave you a chance to make things right, I reached out my hand... and you bit it! What did I ever do to deserve that? What, was I too nurturing? Too forgiving? Well, maybe. But dammit, you weren't like the others: Snakes, backstabbers. I could count on you, man. I ''did'' count on you. I loved you... but here we are. Why does this keep happening to me? I guess the strongest men are the most alone. You wouldn't understand. Nobody does.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander releases Soldier Boy from his cryogenic chamber at Vought Tower. Soldier Boy wakes up the next morning in Homelander's bedroom.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no. It's okay. It's okay, I don't wanna hurt you. You're safe, okay? You've been in deep freeze again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, Jesus Christ. For how long?
:'''Homelander''': Almost two years in a CIA black site. I just found out this morning.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You found out this morning?
:'''Homelander''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But that just happens to be in your room? ''[pause]'' Did you fuck me?
:'''Homelander''': ''[legitimately confused]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this some kind of incest thing?
:'''Homelander''': No!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Then, what the fuck is this?
:'''Homelander''': ''[stammers]'' Look, I... I want you to find William Butcher.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Find him yourself.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the people that work for me are limited. And you are the best tracker there is. I just–I need you to find him and report back. Very simple.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You want me… to work for you?
:'''Homelander''': Well, why don't we say &quot;work ''with'' me&quot;? And... I can help you. I can give you a proper comeback.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need you for that.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the whole world does think that you're a Russian spy, so…
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[takes a deep breath]'' Okay. Alright, listen to me. I'm no ass-felching Commie. You got that?!
:'''Homelander''': I know, I know. And listen, I am Vought now. Me. So, the public, they're gonna believe that you are whatever I tell them you are. I can resurrect you. I can give you back what you lost. I can even make you number two in The Seven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Number two? ''[Homelander nods]'' Or how about I finish the job, and blast you to Kingdom Fuck.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, you could try. Who knows, you might even fry the V right out of my blood. Or you might not. But I'm betting that you hate William Butcher more than you hate... me. After all, I'm–I'm not the one that betrayed you, am I?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I tried to kill you. The minute I turn my back, how do I know you won't return the favor?
:'''Homelander''': Look... 
:''[Homelander picks up Soldier Boy's shield and gives it to him]''
:'''Homelander''': You find William Butcher for me… all is forgiven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat; looks at the shield]'' Looks like a fuckin' kindergarten ashtray. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Soldier Boy, ''[points at Calhoun and Ashley]'' this is the President, Vice President of the United States of America. They work for me. Everyone, Soldier Boy is gonna be number two in The Seven once he has located William Butcher and Annie January.
:'''The Deep''': What? Wait–Wait, what, sir? No, sir. I... I can do this. I can bring them in.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, like you did with A-Train? We're going in a new direction, Deep. Competence. ''[to Calhoun]'' Oh, and Steve, Soldier Boy's gonna need a full pardon.
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, he–he was guilty of... you know, treason. ''[pause; Homelander just stares at him]'' Consider it done, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific. And you know what? I'm sure the man's dying for a drink. Uh, Steve, can you make him a…
:'''Soldier Boy''': Manhattan.
:'''Homelander''': Manhattan. Thanks, Steve.
:'''Calhoun''': Of course. Can I get you a glass of milk, sir?
:'''Homelander''': ''[sternly]'' No. Steven… I'll also have a Manhattan.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goddamn. Since when could Supes teabag the President?
:'''Homelander''': Since me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Hughie looking despondent on their way back to the Teenage Kix mansion]''
:'''Butcher''': Oi, fuckin' smile, Hughie. I mean, ain't you a little glad A-Train's dead?
:'''Hughie''': …No, I'm not glad he's dead. A-Train did a lot of horrible things, but he saved our lives, and he died a hero. A real hero. There are a lot of other Supes that don't deserve to die either.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, I know you just done a year in the gulag. You've earned your seat at the table, so... I'll give it to ya straight. You gotta knock this wet, gaping pussy shite on the head, mate. Ain't doin' no one no favours. Especially your girl. I mean, that's why she's givin' you the cold shoulder.
:'''Hughie''': Don't talk to me about Annie. You don't know what's going on with her.
:'''Butcher''': Well, I know that she finally knows the fuckin' score. And she knows that you poncin' about with this Jiminy Cricket, &quot;listen to your heart&quot; bollocks is just gonna get her killed.
:'''Hughie''': Is there any part of you left that's still human? ''[pause]'' You're gonna get Annie killed, not me… but I won't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Noted.
:''[A shield suddenly pierces the windshield of the Boys' truck. Hughie catches the virus vial right as they crash into another vehicle.]''
:'''Hughie''': Fuck!
:'''Kimiko''': Hughie, the vial!
:'''Hughie''': It's good. ''[stares at the shield]'' Wait, is that...?
:''[They see Soldier Boy walking up the street towards them]''
:'''Butcher''': Well, well, well.
:'''Kimiko''': He's dead, right? He's supposed to be dead?
:'''Butcher''': Supposed to be. Mallory put him in ice for a bit.
:'''Hughie''': ''[slowly turns to face Butcher]'' You're telling us this ''now?''
:'''Butcher''': Somebody up there likes us, mate.
:'''Hughie''': In what fucking way?!
:'''Butcher''': Well, we wanted a guinea pig. Who better than Homelander's old man? New plan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Butcher''': Oi. Ain't you supposed to be a giant ice dіldо?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Aren't you supposed to be smart? Renting a truck under the name &quot;Don T. Beakunt.&quot; Same alias when we headed to Herogasm.
:'''Butcher''': Well, oldie, but a goodie.
:''[Soldier Boy sees Hughie and Kimiko get out of the truck and run away]'' 
:'''Butcher''': No, mate. Just you and me.
:''[Soldier Boy shoots Butcher three times, but to no avail. Butcher, still standing, looks down at his chest then looks back up at Soldier Boy.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess it's true. You're one of us now.
:'''Butcher''': Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Then fuckin' beat 'em.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Being super is not gonna save you.
:'''Butcher''': That don't stop us helpin' each other. Homelander's double the cunt now, if that's even possible. He needs doin' more than ever. You still fancy his seat on The Seven, don't ya?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Fuck you! We had a deal! I held up my end of the bargain, and you sold me out. Put me back in a fucking box! And for what? 'Cause I was gonna kill some dumb kid?
:'''Butcher''': That kid is your grandson.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, was it worth it? You feeling good about that call right about now? Where is that fucking brat?
:'''Butcher''': Homelander's the one fuckin' you over, mate. Or did he mention that we've got an uber virus strong enough to kill every fuckin' Supe on the planet?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Bullshit.
:'''Butcher''': God's honest. The things this virus can do... ''Fuckin' diabolical.'' Why d'you think he sent you here instead of coming himself, hmm? You're the sacrificial cunt. Again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess we'll see.
:'''Butcher''': You don't get it, do ya? Me, Homelander, your old crew–Everyone fucks you over. Do you wanna know why? 'Cause you... are a dumb fuckin' twat.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hughie Campbell. How is a useless cock-gobbler like you still alive?
:'''Hughie''': All your jokes are about dudes blowing dudes. You're kind of obsessed!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this the virus he was going on about? The so-called &quot;Supe Killer&quot;? Well, not today, you semen-swilling butt pirate.
:'''Hughie''': What?

==''&quot;Every One of You Sons of Bitches&quot;'' [5.03]==
:''[Homelander has a psychotic breakdown and hallucinates Madelyn Stillwell appearing to him as an angel]''
:'''Homelander''': Madelyn...!
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, my boy! My sweet boy... What is wrong? Why are you unhappy?
:'''Homelander''': My father and my son! Everything, it's all falling apart!
:'''Madelyn''': No! No, it's exactly what needed to happen. Yes, it's been foretold! You're about to ascend. Become immortal. Divine. A true god with the love of the world.
:'''Homelander''': But–
:'''Madelyn''': I know, you think love is weak and human. But who is more loved than Jesus? And why should he have more love than you? You save more people than he does. The one, true god...
:'''Homelander''': Yes... But how? How? Millions of people just hate me...
:'''Madelyn''': Well, then you baptize the unfaithful in their own blood. Rip babies from their mothers' wombs.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': Skin parents in front of their children. Rid the world of the wicked.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': The nonbelievers...
:'''Homelander''': They'll call me a monster...
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, the only ones left will be your faithful. And they will love you in their hearts. They'll cry happy tears at the mere thought of you. You have one last task, my love.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Homelander?
:'''Homelander''': Up here.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What do you– ''[sees Homelander taking a bath]'' What in the fuck? Is that milk?
:'''Homelander''': Better. Breastmilk from the NICU at Mount Sinai.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So, what? You asked me up here so I could watch you swim in tit jizz?
:'''Homelander''': I wanna give you another chance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You wanna give ''me'' another chance?
:'''Homelander''': Yes. Help me find that V1.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd rather fist myself with a handful of razors. Besides, Cleopatra Jones said there's no V1 to find.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, there most certainly is. And I am going to find it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah? What makes you so sure?
:'''Homelander''': ''[smiling]'' An angel told me. It's my destiny.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Just when I thought there was a ceiling to how fuckin' weird you could get.
:'''Homelander''': Yes, yes. Make your jokes. You've been blessed with immortality, and what have you done with it? Drink and fuck yourself numb. You... You are a disappointment. You see... ''[stands up and gets out of the tub]'' I am not gonna waste my immortality. I am gonna take what's rightfully mine. I'm asking you if you want a seat at the table because you're my father. But with or without you... a reckoning is coming.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' You know, all I see is a freak. A freak with a bushel of gray pubes. Try some Just for Men.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher takes Ryan to a pub to discuss his plan to kill Homelander with the Supe virus]''
:'''Butcher''': All you do is get him on the blower and tell him you wanna see him. When he rocks up, you chuck the shit in his face... and that'll be it.
:'''Ryan''': Why me?
:'''Butcher''': 'Cause he won't leave the fortress of cuntitude for anyone else.
:'''Ryan''': So this is what you wanted to talk to me about. Killing my dad.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, mate–
:'''Ryan''': Is that all you think I'm good for?
:'''Butcher''': I ain't gonna treat you like a kid no more, alright? You're done with that. Homelander raped your mum. He's gonna burn everything down, and you are the only one who can stop him. Now... Normally, I don't put no stock in any of that bollocks about destiny, but if anyone's got one, it's you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause; sighs]'' I throw this virus at him... what'll happen to me?
:'''Butcher''': You'll die. I'll be close by and we'll go together. Now... I ain't gonna lie to you. This… this is not what your mum wanted… But it's the only way. And it will be justice.
:'''Ryan''': You're asking me to kill myself?
:'''Butcher''': You wouldn't be the first lad to throw his life away in a war... but you would be the first to save the world doin' it. ''[beat; sighs heavily]'' I'll fetch us a pint.
:''[Later, Butcher returns with a pint of beer]''
:'''Butcher''': Here. Told her you were 30. ''[Ryan chuckles]'' Fuck the leather, fuck the lace, here's to the bird who sits on yer face. ''[takes a long sip of beer]''
:'''Ryan''': Where'd you pick that up?
:'''Butcher''': Me old man.
:'''Ryan''': You two close?
:'''Butcher''': Nah, not really. He was a... a piss artist. Used to lose all his money on the gee-gees–horses–and then, he'd come home, beat the livin' daylights outta Len and me. And then later, laugh about it with his mates. Yeah, he was a right cunt.
:'''Ryan''': Where is he now?
:'''Butcher''': Bottom of the Thames. I put him there, just the other day. Only wish I'd done it sooner, before he caused more... more damage.
:'''Ryan''': Butcher... Do you think that I could ever... That I might turn into my dad?
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know.
:'''Ryan''': ''[sighs]'' My mom... Aunt Grace... the others... All I do is hurt people. I can't be around anyone.
:'''Butcher''': Without us–without Supes–the world is a better, safer place.
:'''Ryan''': ''[beat]'' I'll do it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Edgar ''': You're fighting an unbeatable foe. You know that, right?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Who? Vought?
:'''Edgar''': Please. It's more powerful than Vought. Or Homelander. More powerful than nature or life itself. It's profit and loss; supply and demand; the elegant flow of currency across the globe. We're just cogs in a great machine, and we all have our part to play. Say you kill Soldier Boy, or Homelander, or even release this virus. When superheroes go out of fashion, something else will just take their place. Because corporations must still grow. Money must still be made. The machine must still be fed. That is the way of the world.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Motherfucker. When this is all over... you're aiming to run Vought again, ain't you?
:'''Edgar''': Like I said. We all have our part to play.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[pause]'' If that day ever comes... I have a part to play, too. And that's to put a bullet in your fuckin' skull.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy and Firecracker are on her TruthBomb talkshow set preparing for their interview together]''
:'''Firecracker''': It's an honor to have a great American like yourself on the show. I guess it runs in the family, huh? Homelander's father… Dang.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks at the gun at Firecracker's hip]'' Glock, huh? Never saw the appeal in foreign-made guns.
:'''Firecracker''': Well, this ain't your granddaddy's Glock. This here's a 9mm Gen 5, seven-round capacity with a crisp fuckin' break.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, mine's a much longer barrel. ''[takes out his pistol]'' Battle-proven, all-American Colt 1911 chambered in .45 ACP. ''[cocks pistol]'' That'll blow your fuckin' panties off. Now, that little Glock–That's good for a late-night Harlem stroll, but uh, this here? That's a certified Kraut killer.
:'''Firecracker''': I think you mean an antique.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean a classic. You wanna give it a try? ''[Firecracker examines the pistol]'' Now, some can't handle the kick, but something tells me you'll do just fine.
:''[Cut to Soldier Boy and Firecracker in bed together after having sex]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Whew. Well, I gotta hand it to you. I haven't fuckеd that hard since... since I railed Shari Lewis on the balcony of Studio 54.
:'''Firecracker''': I ain't got no idea who that is.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well... Hey, why the hairless pussy?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[gives Soldier Boy a disgusted look]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean, what's the point of going down there if you're not gonna get a fat face full of fur? Is that how Homelander likes you? Like a baby?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' More like a mother.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But you two have fuckеd, right?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[shakes her head]'' Mm-mm.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Damn. I gotta admit, I was kinda just doing this as petty revenge against the freak.
:'''Firecracker''': That's terrible. Who would do such a thing? And you shouldn't say that about your son.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Ah, he thinks he's better than me.
:'''Firecracker''': He doesn't.
:'''Soldier Boy''': How do you know?
:'''Firecracker''': I don't know much, but I can read people. And the way he looks at you? Shoot. I ain't never seen him look at nobody like that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Uh, that's not exactly a compliment, doll. He is the strangest mοthеrfuckеr I've ever known, and I've had a threesome with Gary Busey.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ryan and Homelander meet up at the now-abandoned VoughtLand building]''
:'''Ryan''': Do you remember when you took me here? Pretended to care about me?
:'''Homelander''': I ''do'' care about you, son. I love you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause]'' I need to ask you–
:'''Homelander''': For my forgiveness? You already have it.
:'''Ryan''': What?
:'''Homelander''': Okay, let me finish. I put too much pressure on you to fill my boots. And–And I realize now that, uh... Well, that–that was impossible. But I do have some pretty exciting news. I am going to live forever now. I'll realize my own legacy. And you... ''[scoffs]'' you're off the hook. You can do whatever–
:'''Ryan''': Did you do it? Did you rapе my mom?
:'''Homelander''': What?! Of course not. Who told you–Did William Butcher tell you that? Your mother and I, we had an affair. A consensual affair between two adults.
:'''Ryan''': Your heart's racing.
:'''Homelander''': Well, yeah, because I'm shocked. And–And frankly, my heart's breaking a little bit that you could think I would do something like that.
:''[Ryan lasers Homelander, leaving a visible wound near his chest]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan... Ryan, stop!
:''[Ryan lunges at Homelander and shoves him against the wall. Homelander ducks below Ryan's fist to avoid getting punched by him.]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan! I don't know where this is coming from, because your mother… ''She'' came on to ''me.''
:''[Ryan punches Homelander twice and tries to laser him again. Homelander quickly dodges him again.]''
:'''Homelander''': ''Ryan!'' Son... ''[moves away to avoid another punch]'' Ryan! Ryan, buddy... Look what came out of it: My son! A blessing! ''[Ryan attacks him again]'' Hey, hey! Stop!
:''[Ryan readies another laser, which gets redirected when Homelander grabs his face. He punches Homelander in the face again, but Homelander gets the upper hand and slams Ryan several times into a box. Homelander wipes blood away from his nose as Ryan whimpers in pain.]''
:'''Homelander''': Oh, Ryan... Dammit. Look at what you made me do. ''[pause; kneels down to restrain Ryan]'' Shh... Shh, shh, shh. Hey... It's okay. My sweet, sweet boy.
:''[Homelander proceeds to punch Ryan repeatedly in the face until he is beaten nearly to death]''

===''&quot;King of Hell&quot;'' [5.04]===
:'''Homelander''': I need you for something.
:'''Firecracker''': You do?
:'''Homelander''': I have received the most wonderful message. I was visited... by an angel. And she foretold my destiny.
:'''Firecracker''': Wow. Well, praise be. And what is it?
:'''Homelander''': God.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, that is wonderful. There is no higher calling than servin' the Lord.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. Not serving the Lord. Being the Lord. I am the Messiah. I'm the savior of the world.
:'''Firecracker''': The... Messiah?
:'''Homelander''': Yes.
:''[Firecracker smiles despite her being clearly disturbed by Homelander's delusions]''
:'''Firecracker''': Um... Congrats.
:'''Homelander''': Thank you. ''[pause; Firecracker giggles nervously]'' I always knew I was special. I knew it. I suffered. I suffered so many hardships, and I... I couldn't understand why, but you... You... You always saw it, didn't you? You knew all along I was special. That is why I have chosen you to spread the word of my coming.
:'''Firecracker''': How?
:'''Homelander''': Well, we control the most powerful media apparatus on Earth. Jesus would kill for our marketing. What do you say?
:'''Firecracker''': ...Well, you know I would do anything for you, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys are hiking through the woods near Fort Harmony]''
:'''Kimiko''': It's weird. No birds or animals. It's like…
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. ''[to Mother's Milk]'' Had to park on the other side of the state, didn't ya?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Well, if the hike's too hard, why don't you try tying your boots, mοthеrfuckеr.
:''[Hughie is shocked to see a heavily decomposed corpse]''
:'''Hughie''': Oh, fuck that.
:'''Butcher''': Eh. Not really my type, son.
:'''Hughie''': Hey, how about showing a little respect?
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, Hughie's right, Butcher. You should take her out to dinner first. ''[chuckles; sighs]'' Let's see here. Based on the decomp, these bodies have been here for a while.
:'''Frenchie''': Something ripped them apart. Whatever killed those Boy Scouts might still stalk these woods.
:'''Butcher''': Let's get a move on, then. Didn't come out here to get bummed by Bigfoot.
:''[...]''
:'''Butcher''': Any sign of Super Cunt?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Could already be inside.
:'''Butcher''': Well, let's find out.
:'''Kimiko''': ''[to Hughie]'' What's wrong?
:'''Hughie''': Annie.
:'''Kimiko''': She'll come back.
:'''Hughie''': No. I almost died, but she made it all about her and she took off. I mean, last year, I got bad-touched by a shape-shifter, and she still found a way to make it about her. She can be such a fucking bitch. ''[pause; sees Kimiko looking at him in shock]'' Uh... Jesus. Sorry, I–I didn't mean for that to come out so harsh.
:''[The Boys see an entire field littered with animal carcasses]''
:'''Butcher''': ''Fuckin' hell.''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck happened here?
:'''Frenchie''': Our V'd-up beast enjoyed an amuse-bouche, perhaps?
:'''Butcher''': Well, explains why we didn't hear no animals.
:'''Kimiko''': I said that ten minutes ago.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys discover more decomposed corpses as they make their way downstairs to the lab inside Fort Harmony]''
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. They've been here a minute, haven't they?
:'''Frenchie''': Decades. Hunters... ''[pause; notices the knives embedded in the corpses]'' Look at their knives. These men, they killed each other. What if there is a monster here, but it's us?
:'''Butcher''': What the fuck are you on about, Frenchie?
:'''Frenchie''': [[w:Toxoplasma gondii|Toxoplasmosis]]. It's a parasite in cat shit. It can infect humans. Makes them react with explosive anger.
:'''Hughie''': You think we ate cat shit?
:'''Frenchie''': Ate? No... If the V1 spilled into the groundwater, it could mutate the plants. Their spores fill us with rage, we murder each other, and ''voilà''. We're plant food for these vines.
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so like [[w:The Last of Us (video game)|''The Last of Us'']]?
:'''Frenchie''': No, that is just [[w:The Walking Dead (comic book)|''The Walking Dead'']] with mushrooms. The dead campers, the animals, these hunters... Surely, you all see how strangely you've been acting.
:'''Kimiko''': Us? I've seen you blow cоcaіnе up your dіckhole.
:'''Frenchie''': Wait... You have a point. The copious amount of drug I've taken for decades has surely altered my brain chemistry. That's why I'm not affected. 
:'''Kimiko''': Guess being a junkie was good for something after all.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Romeo and fuckin' Juliet. You two survive this war, I give you six months tops.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy search the ground floor of Fort Harmony while the Boys are in the basement below looking for the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sniffs]'' Smells like deer piss. The last time I was here, I was fresh off the front lines, still picking Nazi brains out of my hair. And only the best of the best got selected for Dr. Vought's trials.
:'''Homelander''': Hmmph.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Not soft little hog-chompers.
:'''Homelander''': Of course. No, I forgot how tough you were.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hey, I'm not the weirdo who doesn't fuck. I mean, your cock's as useless as your cape. What's the point of being famous if you're not getting your dіck wet?
:'''Homelander''': Oh, my dіck was sopping wet when I pulled it out of Stormfront and wiped it on her fucking chin!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; looks down at the decomposed corpses]'' Ooh, look. More uggos. 
:'''Homelander''': Friends of yours?
:''[They unknowingly set off the motion detector that the Boys set up near the stairs]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Oh, shit. They're right above us.
:'''Butcher''': We best get the fuck outta here. Come on.
:'''Hughie''': Hey. Hey, what about the V1?
:'''Mother's Milk''': If Bombsight has the V1, then it saves us from having to torch it.
:'''Hughie''': What are you talking about? Who's &quot;us&quot;?
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' What? You think the world needs more immortal cunts, do ya?
:'''Hughie''': We need it to save Annie and Kimiko! You've been planning this this whole time, haven't you?!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh. Homelander will hear us.
:'''Hughie''': ''[to Mother's Milk]'' And you, you've just been going along with it again.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We can't take the risk, Hughie. And if she has to be collateral damage so that Homelander dies and my daughter lives, we ain't got no fucking choice!
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, easy for you to say. It won't fucking kill you!
:'''Butcher''': Well, at least he knows when to keep his gob shut and do as he's fuckin' told!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Excuse me?
:'''Frenchie''': No, no, no. We don't have time for this. We need to find a way out now.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Wanna know a little secret, Butcher? I ''cheered'' when I found out that you were dying, 'cause at least we'd finally be done with your miserable ass.
:'''Hughie''': You know, I used to say to these guys, &quot;Don't give up on Butcher. There's good in him fighting to get out.&quot; I was wrong. If there was ''anything'' human in there, it's dead. Underneath that chestful of octo-cocks, you are just a fucking monster.
:'''Butcher''': Well, maybe I like it better that way.
:'''Hughie''': That parasite's not just in you. It ''is'' you. ''You're'' the cancer!
:'''Frenchie''': ''Lower your voices.''
:'''Hughie''': You are just as bad as Homelander, maybe worse. And I'm not gonna let you drag us all down with you.
:'''Butcher''': And whatcha gonna do about it?
:'''Hughie''': I'll fucking kill you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': ''[chuckles]'' Tough guy, my ass.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What?
:'''Homelander''': You, your whole bit. This whole &quot;guts and glory&quot; thing. What a fucking joke. I read your classified file. Your brother won a Silver Star for bravery at [[w:Battle of Anzio|Anzio]], and that's what made you beg your father to buy you a spot in Dr. Vought's trials. Because it killed you to see your brother dripping in all that glory, making you look all the more feeble in comparison.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't know shit about me.
:'''Homelander''': Really? I know that when they tried to inject you with the V, you were so fucking petrified that they had to strap you to the table. And you pissed yourself, crying for your mommy like the whiny, spoiled little rich boy that you are. They gave you the world, and you? You deserve ''nothing.''
:''[Soldier Boy stands by as Homelander walks into a small chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Oh, Christ. What's this shithole now?
:''[Soldier Boy shuts the door while Homelander isn't looking and turns the wheel to lock him inside the chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': What are you doing?!
:''[Soldier Boy bends the wheel with his bare hands and tears it off the door]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, well done. I'll be out of here in 30 seconds!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. Maybe not.
:''[Soldier Boy pulls down a lever to open a radioactive valve. Homelander's face immediately starts blistering from the radiation.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': It's enriched uranium. They'd stick us Supes in there to see if we could survive an atomic bomb. Now, for a normal joe, they'd be dead in minutes. But for you, it's a stomach flu. Good luck, though, getting out of a Supe-proof cell while you're bleeding out of your ass.
:''[Homelander fails to kill Soldier Boy by lasering him. He punches the glass as Soldier Boy walks off.]''
:'''Homelander''': Where are you going?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'm gonna go destroy any V1 that I find, you Triple Crown cock jockey.
:'''Homelander''': Why?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't get it, do you? How much I can't fucking stand you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Homelander trapped inside the uranium chamber]''
:'''Butcher''': ''[laughs]'' Oh, if only the world could see you now. Not so fuckin' super, are ya? You, uh... ''[points at Homelander's face]'' You got a bit of... ''[pause; Homelander coughs]'' Did your dad put you in timeout? Ooh… That's gotta sting, knowin' he'd rather spend eternity all alone than with the likes of you. What's the matter? Cunt got your tongue? Will wonders ever cease? ''[chuckles; lights cigarette]'' Tell me something. If you do get the juice in you, you think that makes you a god, don't ya? Seems like I know you pretty well after all. Which is why I know that even if you had a billion twats garglin' your bollocks and singin' &quot;Hosanna&quot;, you still wouldn't be happy. 'Cause deep down, you're just a weak, thin-skinned, needy little boy. You beat the shit outta your own son. Don't get weaker than that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs weakly while groaning in pain]'' Ryan is alive… because he's strong. 'Cause he's my son. The son of God.
:'''Butcher''': You ain't no god. How's about I go fetch the virus, and then we'll watch you shit your fuckin' spine out?
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You don't have it, do you? The virus.
:'''Butcher''': …Don't I?
:'''Homelander''': No, you don't. You would have used it by now. ''[coughs; laughs hysterically]'' You have no way to stop me, do you? Oh, William. You have no idea what you're up against. You can't intervene. I ''will'' get the V1, and when I do, I'm gonna flay you alive. You, Starlight–All the nonbelievers. You're all gonna ''fuckin' drown'' in your own blood.
:'''Butcher''': I promise you, before I die... I'll fuckin' have you. ''[walks away]''
:'''Homelander''': YOU'RE ALL FUCKING PASTE! I can take what's mine, and that makes this WHOLE FUCKING SHITBALL ''MY BIRTHRIGHT! '''MY DESTINY!'''''

===''&quot;One-Shots&quot;'' [5.05]===
:'''Firecracker''': Next up is a $500 million ad blitz with OOH, e-blasts, print and digital. Ain’t nobody won’t know about the Democratic Church of America… and its chosen prophet.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Prophets are servants.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course, sir. Great point. We’re just trying to ease people into it.
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no. We need to prepare America for my ascension. We must be honest. We must be direct. I like “savior.” Or–Or…
:'''Oh Father''': Lord. Yes, I couldn’t agree more, sir. Religion is not about being meek. We should dominate the seven mountains of society, bring the Kingdom of Heaven to Earth! Amen!
:'''Homelander''': Amen.
:'''Firecracker''': Amen! I love all that!
:'''The Deep''': So fucking dope.
:'''Oh Father''': Easter is just around the corner. How perfect would it be for your second coming to come on the day of Jesus' resurrection?
:'''Homelander''': Mmm… Second coming? Let's be clear: I am not the son of God.
:'''Oh Father''': Well, of course. Many people believe that Jesus is both God incarnate and the son.
:'''Homelander''': Well, that's just confusing. I don't want my church getting involved in all... that.
:'''Firecracker''': Exactly. Besides, if we pull up our timeline, you won't have… ''[picks up a bag with a large book inside]'' this.
:''[Firecracker kneels in front of Homelander, who accepts the book. He takes it out of the bag and sees &quot;The Homelander Bible&quot; with himself embossed on the cover.]''
:'''Oh Father''': We're gonna drag our feet because of a book?
:'''Firecracker''': Not a book. ''The'' book. The Homelander Bible.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause; lifts the book with his hands]'' Heavy.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[quietly]'' What the fuck?
:'''Firecracker''': It's got the Old Testament, the New Testament, and the brand new American Testament, written by A.I. trained on the works of Pat Robertson. See, we need to pass the torch, sir. From Jesus to you. Sir, we don't get more than one chance at a first impression. Are we really gonna rush something this important? We ain't [w:Arby's|Arby's]], after all.
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Firecracker''': We're the [[w:The Cheesecake Factory|Cheesecake Factory]].
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs deeply]'' Okay. We'll do it your way.
:'''Firecracker''': Thank you.
:'''Sister Sage''': You do realize this kind of sudden religious upheaval is likely to generate widespread civil unrest?
:'''Firecracker''': Local law should be able to handle the suburbs, but we could use extra hands in major metros.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, let's recall all Supes stationed overseas. American heroes should be protecting America, not Who-Gives-A-Fuckistan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Firecracker''': We ain't doin' that again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[chuckles]'' That's what you said the last six times.
:'''Firecracker''': No, I really mean it this time.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You seem a little out of it. Did you nut? 'Cause usually, you nut.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' Were you baptized?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah, in front of half of Chestnut Hill. Governor Sproul did the honors. My family kept up appearances, of course. Then, we never set foot in church again.
:'''Firecracker''': I had lunch today with the reverend who baptized me. He's been gettin' heat to switch over to our church. You think Homelander might be open to going easy on him? Just... give him a little more time? I wouldn't ask if it was just anybody, but that man practically raised me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So you didn't nut. You know, this whole Homelander as God shit, it's... it's fucking ridiculous.
:'''Firecracker''': Really? You think so?
:'''Soldier Boy''': If he's the second coming, then what does that make me? Joseph? I mean, talk about the biggest cuck in history. Man trades his best cow to bag some hot-ass virgin, and then God comes and squirts his baby gravy up her meat wallet. Fuck that.
:'''Firecracker''': I guess I've been struggling with where to place Homelander in my heart in relation to Jesus and the Lord.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course I worship Homelander. I mean, he's always been a god to me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Look, I'll tell you this. If there is a God... sure as hell didn't come out of my balls. I gotta go.
:'''Firecracker''': Where you off to?
:'''Soldier Boy''': L.A… ''[snickers]'' I fucking hate L.A.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker is filming her new episode of TruthBomb and starts reading her opening monologue from a teleprompter]''
:'''Firecracker''': Welcome to ''Truthbomb''. Our top story tonight's a personal one. It's the story of my hometown church, Holy Baptist of Daytona. It was the church I grew up in. Sang my hymns from the pews there every Sunday. But that church... That church…
:''[The teleprompter stops scrolling]''
:'''Firecracker''': ''[beat]'' That church... has become a hotbed of Starlighter infestation. And my old pastor, Reverend Greg Dupree, has been infected by Starlight's seditious propaganda. Now... I never told a soul this, but when I was a little girl, the reverend regularly had me over for supper. Alone. ''[pause; chuckles]'' No. Nothing ever happened to me, but... ''[sighs]'' I heard stories about his &quot;Fish Fry Fridays.&quot; And if that ain't code for child groomin', I don't know what is. How much longer are we gonna let these institutional pedo churches diddle our babies? Americans deserve better. They deserve... Homelander. They deserve the Democratic Church of America. ''[starts crying]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Would you like some knee pads?
:'''The Deep''': Sorry, what?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're looking at me like you wanna suck my hog. So I'm asking you if you would like some knee pads.
:'''Homelander''': Go easy on the little guy. He brought me Stan Edgar.
:'''The Deep''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Homelander''': You may leave.
:''[Soldier Boy stays behind with Homelander in the conference room as the rest of The Seven leave]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What crawled up your shithole?
:'''Homelander''': No idea what you mean.
:'''Soldier Boy''': When you're pissy, you tend to make everybody else's lives pissy too. Stan Edgar still stonewalling you?
:'''Homelander''': I've talked to him three times now. Says he has no idea where the V1 is. Heart rate steady as a rock. I'm starting to believe him.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That slippery fuck used to fetch my cоcaіnе. ''[pause]'' You know what? I have an idea. Why don't I take a crack at him? ''[Homelander stares at him]'' What, you don't trust me?
:'''Homelander''': Well, you did lock me in a room with nuclear material and tried to stop me getting the V1, so I'm sure you can understand my hesitance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You could've killed me at Fort Harmony, but you didn't. Maybe I feel like I owe you.
:'''Homelander''': Or maybe you're lying.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. ''[inhales deeply]'' Give me an hour. I'll meet you at Edgar's cell.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hughie''': If you and M.M. still think–
:'''Butcher''': Oh, for fuck's sakes, Hughie. Knock it off with this V1 shite! You're doin' me fuckin' head in! ''[sees his dog Terror eating out of the trash]'' Oi, Terror. Cut it out. Come on. ''[to Hughie]'' Now, listen. If we do find that stuff, we're not makin' any fuckin' vaccines out of it, alright? We're not the department of fuckin' health. We burn that shit before Homelander gets his paws on it, and that's that.
:'''Hughie''': Well, if you wanna kill yourself, knock yourself out, but why do you have to decide for the rest of us?
:'''Butcher''': Oh, 'cause I'm fuckin' right! 'Cause I've always been right! I've been tellin' you lot from the fuckin' start the sky is fallin', and guess what? The sky fuckin' fell.
:'''Hughie''': Well, you kinda helped bring it down.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, don't give me that bollocks. Listen, Homelander thinks he's a fuckin' god. Once he becomes immortal, he's gonna start killin' like one, and we are talkin' millions of people. Now, are you tellin' me you're honestly happy to risk all of that for a life on the run with your girl, knowin' that you could've stopped it? You can live with that, can ya?
:'''Hughie''': What if it was Becca? You'd just let her die?
:'''Butcher''': …I ''did'' let her die.
:'''Hughie''': Look… I know that Homelander comes first. I really do. All I'm asking is that we try. Annie and Kimiko deserve that much.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mister Marathon and Malchemical try to convince Soldier Boy to kill Homelander while he is unconscious]''
:'''Mister Marathon''': Hey, man, we don't have a problem with you. Honest, ''[stutters]'' but–but fuck this fucking guy. You know, he fuckеd my life. Look, if you help us get rid of him, then we all win, and you–you can have The Seven. And I don't even, like, really care if you bring me back or whatever.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need to kill him to get The Seven.
:'''Mister Marathon''': No. Yeah, of course not, but what about all that creepy shit he's doing with that church? I mean, they're rounding up everybody cool. All the hοοkers, the drug dealers.
:'''Malchemical''': They wanna ban pοrn. I mean, they wanna ban fucking abortions!
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay, well, banning abortion would be a big problem for me personally.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Exactly, for all of us. So, if we kill him, we can stop worrying about being cops or gods or asexual weirdos. You know, we can go back to fucking and–and being fucking awesome!
:'''Malchemical''': Look, we know you've got that fucked-up chest blast thing. I mean, I was at Herogasm. I saw it.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Just finish him now. Take away his powers, so we can curb stomp him while we have the chance. 
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' He is a fucking asexual weirdo.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Malchemical''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But as much as it pains me to say this, he's ''my'' fucking asexual weirdo. Nobody fucks my son but me.
:'''Mister Marathon''': What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …That came out wrong.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker sees Homelander sitting on the couch in the Seven common room]''
:'''Firecracker''': Homelander… How was L.A.? Did you catch tonight's ''Truthbomb?''
:'''Homelander''': I did indeed. And it was a real barn-burner. Well done.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[smiles]'' Thank you, sir. That means the world.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' How's sеx with my father? ''[Firecracker's smile disappears]'' Is he good at it? Are you thinking about me when you're making love to him?
:'''Firecracker''': I never meant to cross a line or offend you in...
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Don't fret, little one. I don't care about the sеx, really. But I ''do'' care about your little chats after sеx.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, whatever Soldier Boy told you, I can assure you that I...
:'''Homelander''': You mean your inner turmoil when it comes to me and, uh, Jesus? Are you thinking of Jesus when you're praising me?
:'''Firecracker''': No, you are my one and only savior.
:'''Homelander''': You say that, but your jagged little heart is whirring like a hummingbird. ''[sighs; gets up from the couch]'' You're supposed to worship me, love me and me alone.
:'''Firecracker''': I do.
:'''Homelander''': I believed in you. Turns out, you don't believe in me. ''[pause]'' I need you to collect your things and leave.
:'''Firecracker''': But I ''do'' believe in you. I love you! I am the only one here who ever has! I gave you ''everything!'' I gave you my soul! Everybody else here, they're just... They're just scared of you. Or they want something from you, but I have always loved you for you. Just the strongest, smartest, best man on Earth.
:'''Homelander''': ''[scoffs]'' Man?
:'''Firecracker''': No, no, no, no, no. A god. No. No, ''the'' God. My Lord, that look you used to get when you'd suckle me? I felt like Mother Mary herself. I felt blessed to nourish someone as important as you. ''[pause; Homelander sighs]'' But nothing I ever did was good enough, was it? You cast me out into the cold, which was so much worse than never feeling your warmth in the first place. So all I have been tryin' to do is to get you to see me the way that you used to. Hell, only reason I was with Soldier Boy was that your reflected light is better than no light at all. Please, sir. I love you. We all need love, don't we? Even God.
:''[Homelander reaches his hand out to touch Firecracker's cheek, then kills her by impaling her head on the left wing of an eagle statue]''

===''&quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;'' [5.06]===
:''[Hughie and Annie are laying down on the hood of his car looking at clouds together]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so that one?
:'''Annie''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Hughie''': It’s like a rabbit, but it’s got way too many feet.
:'''Annie''': Really? I see a frog eating a dick. This is definitely in my top five.
:'''Hughie''': Top five what?
:'''Annie''': Things to do with you.
:'''Hughie''':  You’re saying that like… this is the last time we’re gonna get to do this. Hey, listen to me. The guys are gonna find Bombsight, they’ll get the V1. You’re not dying. We will have plenty of time to look for filthy shapes in the clouds.
:'''Annie''': God, I don’t know where it comes from. This… unshakeable hope.
:'''Hughie''': Whenever I’d get upset as a kid, which was a lot… my dad would always say, “You know, son, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react.” And that was infuriating. But then, I spent a year in an internment camp, and I had no control over anything. I’d just lay there at night, just… so fucking angry, hearing my dad’s voice in my head… but then I finally understood what he meant. ‘Cause the only thing I had left was… hope. And it is ''really'' fucking hard to hang on to, but I… I’m trying.
:'''Annie''': I think… you might be low-key the strongest person I know.
:'''Hughie''': I’d prefer high-key… ''[Annie chuckles]'' but thank you.
:'''Annie''': ''[beat; points at the sky]'' Look, it’s–it’s Big Bird eating a dick.
:'''Hughie''': You see an unsettling amount of dicks up there, I’m just saying.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy look around Bombsight's empty house to find the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': You sure this is the right address?
:'''Homelander''': I'm sure.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, there's no sign of Bombsight... or fucking anyone. Maybe Crime Analytics got a bad tip.
:''[Homelander sees a laptop on the table. When he opens it up, a video of him and Stormfront having sex starts playing. He notices Soldier Boy watching along with him and closes the laptop.]'' 
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck was that?
:'''Homelander''': I can explain.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That was Clara. You told me she killed herself.
:'''Homelander''': She did, after Ryan did ''that'' to her. It's his fault.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So then what? You locked her in your apartment like some kind of amputee fuck doll...
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ...and filmed her for kicks?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no! It wasn't like that! I did... I did everything I could to keep her alive, to–to make her happy. ''[pause; Soldier Boy punches him]'' Just listen to me, okay?! It wasn't all like... that. I couldn't let her go. I didn't know how... because I loved her. And so did you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're goddamn right I loved her.
:'''Homelander''': She wouldn't want us fighting over her.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Don't fucking tell me what she would want! You knew her for five minutes; I was with her for decades! 
:'''Homelander''': Hold–Hold on. This–This is a setup. Someone's trying to separate us. This has been plan... Fucking Sage. It's Sage. You see? She's trying to screw with us. ''[Soldier Boy turns around to leave]'' Oh, come on! I can't find the V1 without you!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; turns back around]'' Good. You don't deserve to live forever.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher tries to call Bombsight using one of his old phone numbers, but gets a fax machine instead]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': That a fuckin’ fax machine?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, it’s the last of the numbers she had for him. ''[to Golden Geisha]'' Oi. Twenty-three fuckin' numbers you had for Bombsight, and they’re all fuckin' shite?
:'''Golden Geisha''': Do you know how to delete them? I was telling you the truth. I have no idea where Bombsight is, or how to reach him. So just let me go.
:'''Butcher''': Kimiko, keep an eye on her.
:''[Frenchie joins Butcher and M.M. on their way back to their hideout]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck do we do now?
:'''Butcher''': Fetch us some pliers and put the screws to her. She knows more than she’s lettin’ on.
:'''Frenchie''': Or she doesn’t. I’m sorry, but she’s not that good of an actress.
:''[M.M. and Frenchie draw their weapons when they see Sister Sage inside]''
:'''Sister Sage''': He’s right. ''[sarcastically]'' Ooh, I know. The villain switching sides in the final hour. What a twist, a shock that never happens. But unclench those assholes, fellas. I’m here to help. I’m a free agent now. I came alone. You can shoot me in the heart whenever you like.
:'''Butcher''': That’s a good idea. ''[takes out and cocks his gun]''
:'''Sister Sage''': That would go against our mutual interest.
:'''Butcher''': Which is?
:'''Sister Sage''': Stopping a petulant, laser-eyed narcissist from also becoming immortal. I want him dead as much as you do.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You spent the last couple of years building Homelander up, and now you wanna tear him down? Why the fuck should we trust you?
:'''Sister Sage''': You can’t trust me. Honestly, you shouldn’t, but you will.
:'''Frenchie''': And why would we do that?
:'''Sister Sage''': I know Campbell and Starlight are headed to plant your little virus. You can trace anyone, if you know what to look for. And you baboons, you leave a trail of banana peels wherever you go. I could have stopped you, I could have killed you... but I didn’t.
:'''Butcher''': That virus is gonna wipe out the fuckin’ lot of ya. And you don’t strike me as the suicide type.
:'''Sister Sage''': I will be in my nice, quiet bunker, reading [[w:Ludwig Wittgenstein|Wittgenstein]] in peace. That is, unless that bleached blonde baby gets his hands on V1 and survives. You must have realized by now Granny out there has no clue how to contact Bombsight, but I do. And I can get him here. So... let me help.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': I wanted to say... I'm very sorry about this. I watched every episode of ''Undercover Geisha'' when I was a kid. I loved it, even the parts that were ridiculous racist stereotypes. It meant so much to see someone who looked like me on TV. ''[brief pause]'' We watched with Japanese subtitles. It's how I learned English.
:'''Golden Geisha''': If you're such a big fan, let me go.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Désolé'', but we cannot. Not until we get the V1 that Bombsight possesses.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Wait, that's what you're after? V1? ''[laughs]''
:'''Kimiko''': What–What's so funny?
:'''Golden Geisha''': I'll tell Bombsight to just give it to you. I sure as hell don't want it.
:'''Kimiko''': ...He stole the V1 for you, so you two could be together forever. ''[pause]'' But you didn't take it.
:'''Golden Geisha''': ''[shakes her head]'' I said no... which is why he left. I guess, for him, watching me get old was too painful.
:'''Frenchie''': I'm sorry, I do not understand. Why won't you take it?
:'''Golden Geisha''': To live forever? It'd be torture. ''[scoffs]'' You're both so young. You wouldn't understand.
:'''Kimiko''': Maybe I would.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Summer is only beautiful when you know winter is coming.
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Kimiko]'' Is this how you feel?
:'''Kimiko''': ''[nods]'' Annie and I talked about it. We'd have to... ''[signing]'' We'd have to watch you and Hughie waste away. Neither of us wants to die, but... we don't wanna be vampires either. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Legend leads Homelander inside the Boys' hideout, which is deserted]''
:'''The Legend''': Okay, um... 
:'''Homelander''': No one here.
:'''The Legend''': I grant you, it–it looks like that, yeah. But this–this is their hideout, so I'm sure there's plenty of clues all over here. ''[picks up a receipt]'' Here you go. ''[Homelander sighs]'' Oh, no. Well, this is nothing. But, you know, they have to have left something behind, you know?
:'''Homelander''': ''[looks at the receipt; chuckles]'' Hmmph. It's not nothing.
:'''The Legend''': It's a Taco Bell receipt. 
:'''Homelander''': No, ''this is Sage!'' Taunting me! 
:'''The Legend''': Okay.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs frustratingly; sits on bed]'' This makes no sense. This makes no sense. This makes no sense! ''[chuckles]'' You said I would get the V1. You said I'd be a god. Did I do something wrong? Did I fail you? I did everything you asked me to. I gave my boy up. Please, don't leave me here to just rot. Don't just let me become ''nothing'' like ''him.'' Please…
:'''The Legend''': I gotta assume… The only reason you're saying all this stuff is, you're... You're not gonna let me walk out of here alive, are you? Yeah? Okay. Yeah. ''[pause]'' Alright, look, kid. I've been around a long time and I… This is just how it goes. You know all those old Supes at the home? Every one of them had their moments in the sun and they all thought it was gonna go on forever. And every one of them got shoved out in the end. They all got shoved out. All of them. And I know what I'm talking about; I did the shoving. I mean, look at Goldie. One minute, she's on the set of ''Undercover Geisha'', getting finger-popped by Lorenzo Lamas. The next, she's shilling for VoughtAlert necklaces and Activia poop yogurt.
:'''Homelander''': Geisha sells VoughtAlert necklaces?
:'''The Legend''': Guess you don't watch your own news channel. The point is, look, there comes a day… I got shoved out, too. Never saw it coming. Did not see that coming, and I fought it like hell. But in the end... bupkis. There is a natural order to things. And the more you fight the inevitable, the more the inevitable just… cunt-punts you. ''[pats Homelander's shoulder]'' Yep.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; gets up]'' You're not scared of me.
:'''The Legend''': No, I'm not scared of you. I… I feel for you, kid. I do. I mean, you're a fucking whackjob. But, you know, there's talent. So… No surprise there. ''[pause]'' So, there you go. Do what you gotta do.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' ...You can go.
:'''The Legend''': I–I can go?
:'''Homelander''': Leave. No words. Just go. Now. Go. ''Now.''
:'''The Legend''': Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
:''[After The Legend leaves the Boys' hideout, Homelander makes a call on his cell phone]''
:'''Operator''': How can I help you, sir? 
:'''Homelander''': I need the tracking coordinates for a VoughtAlert necklace.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Tough skin or not, I can still break your fucking neck!
:'''Bombsight''': Ben, stop. Please.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; lets Bombsight go]'' Goddammit.
:'''Bombsight''': ''[beat]'' I can't give it to you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goldie doesn't even wanna take it.
:'''Bombsight''': Then maybe someday, I'll find someone who will!
:'''Soldier Boy''': You were always gonna fuck it up with Goldie anyway. You could never hold down a girl! It was either a smack needle up your dick or— 
:'''Bombsight''': Having to stand next to you? You were everyone's favorite from the start, especially Clara. Everything they wanted us to be, everything they were working towards, they saw it in you. I fucking hated you for it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No. No, I wasn't everything Clara wanted. I didn't know how to be.
:'''Bombsight''': But you loved her. What wouldn't you give to have her back... forever?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …I really fuckin' hate you.
:'''Bombsight''': No shit.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But we don't have to kill each other. I can take away your immortality... and your powers. You won't have to live forever alone. Then, you and Goldie can spend whatever time you have left like you want.
:'''Bombsight''': Why would you do that for me?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd do it for the V1.
:''[Bombsight hands a case to Soldier Boy, who opens it to find a V1 syringe inside. The Boys hear an explosion from far away and run towards it. Cut to Bombsight looking at the wound near his shoulder.]''
:'''Bombsight''': This is the first time I've seen my blood in... I can't remember.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander finds Soldier Boy with the V1 syringe he received from Bombsight. The Boys and Sister Sage watch them from the nearby woods.]''
:'''Homelander''': Don't. I don't wanna fight you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks down at the syringe]'' You know, Clara used to say the craziest shit. That I was the strongest Supe alive, the ultimate expression of what we could be... but she was wrong. ''[pause]'' She hadn't met you yet.
:''[Soldier Boy offers the syringe to Homelander, who accepts it]''
:'''Butcher''': No.
:'''Sister Sage''': I don't understand. He wasn't supposed to... It's impossible.
:'''Homelander''': But you hate me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I love her more... and this is what she would want.
:''[Homelander lasers his left arm and injects the V1 into his wound. His eyes immediately start flickering and he kneels to the ground in pain. The Boys watch in horror as Homelander screams and shoots powerful lasers into the sky.]''
:'''Butcher''': '''''Run.'''''

===''&quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;'' [5.07]===
:''[A V1-empowered Homelander sits in President Calhoun's chair in the Oval Office. He hears a knock at the door]''
:'''Homelander''': Come in! ''[in a cheerful tone, as Ashley and Calhoun enter]'' Hello, you two. Isn't it a beautiful day?
:'''Calhoun''': ''[nervously]'' You're welcome to use this office as long as you need. 
:'''Homelander''': I know. Let's get right to it! While Oh Father is hard at work on my divine unveiling, I have a few action items I need you to handle.
:'''Ashley''': Of course. Anything, sir.
:'''Homelander''': The Democratic Church of America is to be the ''official'' national religion, based around the one true god: Me. 
:'''Calhoun''': Great idea.
:'''Homelander''': I want every boundary between church and state dissolved. I want troops sent into every sanctuary city that took in Starlighters. Issue an executive order banning abortion. Also, breastfeeding is now mandatory. Babies need their mothers, not fake milk. Actually, outlaw that, too.
:'''Ashley''': Sir? 
:'''Homelander''': ''[intensely] Ban nut milk.'' The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was making you think nuts were milk. ''[snickers after a short silence]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': Those are all, uh, fantastic ideas, sir, um... I'll run them by Congress– 
:'''Homelander''': No, disband it.
:'''Calhoun''': Sorry? 
:'''Homelander''': Disband Congress. It's better for freedom. 
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, I don't really have that authority. 
:'''Homelander''': ''[frowns]'' Ashley, do me a favor. Read Steven's mind. I want to know if he's a true believer. 
:'''Calhoun''': But of... course I am, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific! Then you have nothing to worry about. ''[gets up and steps over to Ashley]'' Do it. 
:''[He rips off her wig, and she gasps and covers her face in shame as &quot;Back Ashley&quot; is revealed]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': ''[revolted]'' What the fuck is that? 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': Don't look!
:'''Homelander''': Don't make me ask again. 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': ''[stammering in fear]'' Sir, I–I... Sir, I...
:'''Ashley''': ''[sighs; steels herself and turns back to Homelander]'' He's terrified of you, sir. He thinks you're just a tiny bit psychotic.
:'''Homelander''': Steven! ''[steps towards Calhoun, glaring intensely]'' Here I am. A living god. ''[rests his hands on Calhoun's shoulders]'' Right before your eyes. And still, your faith wavers? ''[beat; Calhoun is clearly too terrified to answer]'' It's okay. No, I'm not angry. ''[clasps his head gently]'' But I ''am'' disappointed.
:''[He crushes Calhoun's head into a pulp, then wipes the blood off his hands on a sofa. An utterly terrified Ashley stares at Calhoun's body as Homelander sits back down at the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie sees Kimiko suffering from radiation exposure inside a homemade uranium chamber while Butcher and Frenchie watch]''
:'''Hughie''': What the fuck is going on in here?
:'''Kimiko''': I'm okay.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' The second she's ready, we go the next dose, alright?
:'''Hughie''': &quot;Next dose?&quot; Are you kidding?! Look at her! What are you doing?
:'''Butcher''': Plan fuckin' B, my son. If at first you don't succeed, find another hole to fuck. See, Soldier Boy's flashy tіt blast got me thinkin', he–he weren't born with that power. The Ivans gave it to him through a consistent application of scientific methodology.
:'''Frenchie''': They threw an atom bomb worth of radiation at him.
:'''Butcher''': Right. So, usin' the research we nicked from 'em a few donkeys back, me and Frenchie are doin' the same thing to Kimiko. She gets Soldier Boy's power, she tіt-blasts Homelander, bees and fuckin' honey.
:'''Hughie''': So when we kept asking what you two were up to, and you kept saying, &quot;Mind your fuckin' business, cunt,&quot; it was this?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah.
:'''Hughie''': Butcher, this is... the most insane-ass shit I ever heard. In a few weeks, you're gonna somehow do what it took the Russians over a decade?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, 'cause unlike the Ivans, we got us a livin', breathin' supercomputer bunked down in student services.
:'''Hughie''': Sage? All she does is self-medicate and binge [[w:Love Island (American TV series)|''Love Island'']]. This could fucking kill Kimiko. Frenchie…
:'''Frenchie''': No. It's not my wish.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck Butcher. Who cares what he wants?
:''[Kimiko coughs and stumbles out of the uranium chamber]'' 
:'''Kimiko''': Not Butcher. ''[panting heavily]'' Me. It's my call.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Annie''': Oh Father's up to something big at Vought Studios, but we don't know what. Could be a trap.
:'''Frenchie''': Could be.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' You stay here with Kimiko and Sage. We'll bust into the studio, nab the holy twat, stomp on his bollocks till he gives us Homelander's next move. And then I'll do the cunt and we'll call it an honest day's work, yeah?
:'''Hughie''': No. Quit acting like we're going on a milk run. It's over. ''[voice breaking]'' We lost.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' [[w:Victoria Beckham|Posh Spice]] was easily the most shit member of [[w:Spice Girls|the squad]]. Could barely sing or dance. No discernible talent whatsoever. Wasn't even featured on [[w:Wannabe|&quot;Wannabe&quot;]], but did that stop her? No. You look at her now... still married with [[w:David Beckham|Becks]]. Fifteen engagement rings, 32 ''Vogue'' covers, inducted by Prince William into the Order of the bloody British Empire. Even I doubted her move into women's apparel, but her line is a staple at Paris fuckin' Fashion Week. You see, despite her obvious disadvantages–includin' a tragic inability to smile–she never gave up, and we ain't givin' up either.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shakes his head]'' Your fuckin' pep talks.
:'''Frenchie''': Terrible.
:'''Annie''': The worst.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, bollocks. That was a fuckin' knockout.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Alone and depressed, The Deep tosses an aluminum can into the sea. A hammerhead shark appears and [[w:Samuel L. Jackson|speaks to him]]]''
:'''Xander''': Yo! You gonna get that, bro?
:'''The Deep''': Xander! ''[chuckles]'' Hey, what you doing here? So good to see you, man.
:'''Xander''': We wouldn't want a little guppy to get caught in that can, my man. Come on in, grab it. ''[swims in circles]''
:'''The Deep''': I've had such a fucked day, man. You wouldn't believe it, bro.
:'''Xander''': Yeah. Get in the water, man.
:'''The Deep''': No. You're not... You're not listening to me–
:'''Xander''': ''[angrily]'' Ah, shut the fuck up! We know you were responsible for the pipeline genocide. Remember March 15th, motherfucker!
:'''The Deep''': No... No, wait, that–That wasn't me, man!
:'''Xander''': If you step one foot, one fucking stupid-ass simian toe in the water ''ANYWHERE''—an ocean, a stream, a fucking puddle—on God, son, you're dead! We're gonna ''KILL YOU!'' You understand, you dumb motherfucker?! Water is fucking off limits to you! ''YOU ARE '''DEAD''' TO US! [swimming away]'' Bitch-ass!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy sees Homelander standing over a scale model of a Homelander-themed amusement park]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': The fuck is all this?
:'''Homelander''': Hey. HomeLand. Next phase of the reboot. Showing the faithful my boundless love for them. ''[points at a monument of himself]'' That there? The Homelander Mount. We're saying that this is where the angel visited me, and I ascended to godhood.
:'''Soldier Boy''': …Right.
:'''Homelander''': You're gonna love this. ''[waves his hand over a rollercoaster]'' This area here? We're calling it: &quot;Soldier Boy! Father of God!&quot; All the fastest rides are gonna be there, and every night, there's gonna be a ticker tape parade, honoring you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' I'm gonna head down to Bogotá. Figure I'll snort and fuck my way through the banana republics.
:'''Homelander''': Uh... When are you coming back?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Probably not for… ever.
:'''Homelander''': What? Look, if you don't like the park, I mean, forget it. I don't–I don't care about any of it. You want hοοker and blow? I'll get you all the drugs and all the wrinkly old whοres in America.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No, you're not hearing me.
:'''Homelander''': No, you're not hearing ''me.'' I am where I am because you chose me. To help me. So, I want you to have whatever you want.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What I want is to get away.
:'''Homelander''': From what? ''[scoffs]'' Or from who?
:'''Soldier Boy''': This just ain't my bag, kid.
:'''Homelander''': I welded your shield back together, you never use it. I hired you a three-star Michelin chef, all you ever order is meatloaf and chili. I even had L.J. mock up a new super suit for you. 
:''[Homelander pulls out a poster of Soldier Boy wearing an American flag-patterned suit]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, God. See, that's what I'm talking about.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, God? What?!
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't want that. And another thing: I gave you the V1 because of Clara. Because that's what she would've wanted. This was never gonna be a &quot;playing catch on the front lawn&quot;, &quot;fixing up the old Impala&quot; bullshit. You're too weird.
:'''Homelander''': Stop fucking saying that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': And you're no god. No angel came to you. You had a wet dream about some chick with big, juicy tіts. If that makes you a god, then I'm a fucking god every night.
:'''Homelander''': '''I ''AM'' GOD!'''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' Would it help if I said, &quot;It's not you, it's me&quot;?
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs softly]'' If you wanna go, go.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sighs; pats Homelander on the back]'' Good luck, son.
:''[Homelander suddenly grabs Soldier Boy from behind and puts him in a chokehold until he passes out]''
:'''Homelander''': I love you.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mother's Milk''': Help me out here. In the movie, was Homelander God, the [[w:Second Coming|Second Coming]], or Jesus' brother? 'Cause the world-building in there was fuckеd.
:'''Annie''': Does it even matter? I mean, they will believe whatever he tells them. What is the fucking point of saving people if they don't wanna be saved? This is what they want.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[beat]'' Alright. So, back when my Gramps got killed by Soldier Boy, shit got rough. Neighborhood kids laughed, called me soft, shit like that. And then one day, I find this pigeon on the sidewalk, wing busted. He was in bad shape. So, I run inside, grab a shoebox and a first aid kit, and come to start nursin' it. I figure, if I can save just this one life, maybe it might somehow make up for... Anyway, those same fuckin' kids, they found out. And so now, it don't take a genius to go from Marvin Milk to Mother's Milk. &quot;Yo, Mother's Milk, you letting that sky rat suck on your tіttіеs or that dіck?&quot; They were relentless. Right up until the day when that little bird flew outta my house and right over their heads, good as new. And you know what, Annie? Here's the crazy thing: I loved my new name. 'Cause I loved helpin' people. I loved being kind, makin' my family proud. That name was a badge of honor for me. Now, last year, locked up in that detention center, something changed. My heart, it just got scarred over. Like the world had just broken it one too many times. And yeah, it got easier, just being cynical. Checking out. But I also hated myself a lot more. I went from being a mοthеrfuckеr with a heart to just being a mοthеrfuckеr. But you know what? Givin' a shit in a world where nobody gives a shit? It ain't soft. It's hard as hell… and that's the real me. ''[pause]'' And that's the real you, too.

===''&quot;Blood and Bone&quot;'' [5.08]===
:'''Homelander''': It's alright. I'm not here to hurt you.
:'''Ryan''': You mean like last time?
:'''Homelander''': Look at you. No harm done.
:'''Ryan''': How'd you find me?
:'''Homelander''': Crime Analytics caught wind of a young man flying outside Kolvereid. Tends to draw attention.
:'''Ryan''': I don't want your help.
:'''Homelander''': I know. You've made that very clear. But you're also the son of God, and you should not be sleeping in a barn. You can have a whole floor of the Tower. Do what you want with it, come and go as you please.
:'''Ryan''': I don't wanna be anywhere near you.
:'''Homelander''': Everything is different now. I've ascended. I'm immortal.
:'''Ryan''': Then, why do you give a shit about what happens to me?
:'''Homelander''': Because we're family. ''[Ryan scoffs]'' We have the same blood pumping through our veins.
:'''Ryan''': Yeah, well, you've got your shitty racist dad. So you don't need me.
:'''Homelander''': No, Soldier Boy doesn't matter. You and I, that's all that matters. I know you, because I ''am'' you. And you're me.
:'''Ryan''': Dad… Get fuckеd. I am nothing like you. You were already the most powerful person on Earth. And you were a lonely, miserable piece of fucking shit, throwing tantrums when you didn't get what you want. Why the fuck would more power make you any better? It's just going to make you an even more lonely, miserable piece of shit. Scaring people into calling you God doesn't make you God. And deep down, you know that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; tearfully sighs]'' It's okay. You don't know what's going on. It's okay… but you will.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[After M.M. kills Oh Father by blocking his mouth with a metal mouth gag, causing his head to explode and spill blood all around]''
:'''Hughie''': I really need a new job.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''The Deep''': It was all a test. Yes! The universe is rewarding me for my loyalty, just like [[w:Sean Connery|Sean Connery]] rewarded [[w:Kevin Costner|Costner]] at the end of ''[[w:Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves|Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves]]''!
:'''Hughie''': Sweet ''Jesus'', you're a moron.
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander gives his Easter address from the Oval Office and begins reading from a teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': My fellow Americans... Happy Easter. A day commemorating Jesus, who, as we all know, was tortured, stripped of his dignity and killed. And that's all well and good. But you're Americans. You deserve a God who doesn't die. A God who fights back. A God you can believe in. Well, today, I bring you good news. Recently, I was visited by an exquisite angel bearing the gift of revelation. As I bathed in her light, her heavenly lips spilled sweet truth into my ear, and I was awakened to my true purpose. Not just to be the world's greatest hero but to save all humanity. To be... the Second Coming. But in a way, really, I'm the First Coming. America... I am the Lord. Your savior. I am your God. And as such, I'm going to usher this world into a new, golden dawn. An age in which your God moves among you, seen and heard. Your prayers are truly answered when you visit homelander.church. And all I ask for in return… I simply ask that you open your hearts and put your faith in me. Those who accept my truth will be welcomed into a land of milk and honey. For I am your Fa…
:''[Homelander stares blankly at the teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': I am… ''[beat]'' But no matter what I do, some of you people will never accept me into your hearts. Never love me. Never believe in me. And to such heretics, I offer oblivion. And those who seek to destroy me, you will die the most horrible of deaths, as befits your wickedness. My reign will last forever, and when this world is cold and dead, I shall remain... eternal. God of the ashes.
:''[Butcher and Kimiko suddenly break into the Oval Office]''
:'''Butcher''': Evening, cunts. Daddy's home. 
:'''Homelander''': William. ''[pause]'' I was starting to think you weren't going to hold up your end of our deal.
:'''Butcher''': Scorched earth?
:'''Homelander''': A shame about the French one. How's your little science experiment going without him?
:'''Butcher''': Let's find out.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander is now at Butcher's mercy after losing his powers]''
:'''Butcher''': Shock and awe, my son. Blood and fuckin' bone.
:''[Homelander charges toward Butcher, who grabs Homelander's fist with his left hand and punches him three times with the other. Butcher grabs Homelander again and prepares to land another punch.]''
:'''Butcher''': This... is for Frenchie.
:''[Butcher punches Homelander in the face repeatedly, knocking him down to the floor and leaving him cowering in fear]''
:'''Homelander''': Stop! You owe me. All the times I could've killed you and I didn't, I let you live. I'll–I'll give you Vought. ''[Butcher picks up his crowbar]'' I'll give you Vought, alright? You can do whatever you want with it, okay? I'll–I'll... Becca. You want your wife back? I'll have a shape-shifter be her. ''[whimpers]'' Just tell me! I'll fucking suck your dіck! Please! I'll do anything! You want me to eat shit? I'll eat your fucking shit! I'll eat your fucking shit on live TV! ''[pause; Butcher knocks him down against the desk]'' Madelyn, you promised me. It's not real. ''[to Butcher]'' You can't fucking do this. ''You can't fucking do this! '''I am the Homelander!'''''
:'''Butcher''': No. Nah, you ain't nothing. And this... This is for my Becca.
:'''Homelander''': No, no...
:''[Butcher stabs Homelander in the head with the straight end of the crowbar. He lifts it up, breaking Homelander's skull open and spilling his brains all over the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie confronts Butcher at Vought Tower to stop him from releasing the Supe virus. Butcher is looking out the window when Hughie enters the main conference room.]''
:'''Butcher''': Traffic?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. Accident on the bridge. Should have taken the tunnel.
:'''Butcher''': ''[turns around]'' I thought you might try to stop me. But you shouldn't have come alone. You should've brought a fuckin' army.
:'''Hughie''': No. If you were gonna release the virus, you would've done it already.
:'''Butcher''': Unless... I'm waitin' for all the Supe cunts to clock in for the day shift. Not much point shootin' spunk into an empty fuckin' building, now is there?
:'''Hughie''': Okay, well, now I kinda wish I brought an army. Where's the virus, Butcher?
:'''Butcher''': I dumped it in the sprinkler tank. Frenchie's idea, God rest the mad bastard. ''[picks up remote controller]'' All I gotta do is pull this trigger, and it rains kill juice on all 99 floors. Shit will be worldwide within a couple of days.
:'''Hughie''': Why? I mean, we already won.
:'''Butcher''': Won? No, we just gave 'em a black eye. As long as there's Vought, there'll be Supes. And sooner or later, some cunt that's already out there becomes the next Homelander, and you fuckin' know it. No. We need to end the whole bloody notion of Supes, and we need to make it permanent. I mean, you can see it, right? This is it. This is the moment.
:'''Hughie''': You dragged me through fucking hell... for this. For now. To be your... canary. Or your Kessler. Or Lenny. But here's the thing: You don't need me for that. You never did. It's already in you. I can see it. You might have a broken fucking heart, but you have one. You are not a monster, Butcher. It just hurts to be human.
:'''Butcher''': I'm sorry, mate. Superheroes... are done.
:'''Hughie''': ''[pulls out gun]'' I can't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Petit Hughie and his gun. Takes some big bollocks to pull the trigger on a mate.
:'''Hughie''': ''[aims the gun at Butcher]'' I will if I have to.
:'''Butcher''': ''[chuckles]'' Nah. You ain't got the…
:''[Butcher takes the gun from Hughie, punches him and throws him across the room]''
:'''Butcher''': Stay down.
:''[Butcher sees Hughie staring at the remote and rushes to take it before Hughie does. Hughie quickly gets up and trades more blows with Butcher, spitting blood onto the floor after getting punched hard in the gut. Eventually, Butcher gains the upper hand and picks up the remote while Hughie lies helpless on the floor. Before he can pull the remote trigger, he has a hallucination of Lenny lying in Hughie's place. He gets shot in the abdomen by Hughie as he moves his finger away from the trigger. Realizing what he did, Hughie rushes to Butcher's side.]''
:'''Hughie''': I'm sorry. Um... I didn't wanna–I didn't wanna do that. Um... I'm–I'm gonna call an ambulance, okay?
:'''Butcher''': I wouldn't bother. It's alright, Hughie. I gave you no choice. I... I wasn't gonna stop. All the blood... and shite I put you through... and none of it made a blind bit of difference. You–You stayed yourself... no matter what I done. ''[coughs]''
:'''Hughie''': Hey.
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know what to do.
:'''Hughie''': You don't need to do anything.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat; Hughie holds his hand]'' You really are... the spittin' of Lenny.
:''[Butcher slowly loses his grip on Hughie as he dies]'' 
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': ''[last lines; to his and Annie's unborn daughter]'' Take care of your mom, Robin.
==External links==
{{The Boys}}
[[Category:The Boys (TV series) seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>haypjpev5dayk66a9kblawb2sx63sd1</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943889</id>
      <parentid>3943886</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:27:32Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Constantin1995</username>
        <id>3215997</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943889</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="89870" sha1="ryxta3kypeh1k3o05uiy56egc2x9q5w" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Season''' [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 1|1]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 2|2]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 3|3]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 4|4]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 5|5]]  [[The Boys (TV series)|Main]]
----
'''''[[w:The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]''''' is an American superhero television series developed by Eric Kripke for [[w:Amazon Prime Video|Amazon Prime Video]]. Based on the comic book of the same name by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson, it follows the eponymous team of vigilantes as they combat superpowered individuals who abuse their abilities.

==''&quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;'' [5.01]==
:''[Homelander meets with Sister Sage after the Flight 37 video gets leaked to the public by Annie]''
:'''Sister Sage''': We knew this would happen sooner or later. We've been ready. In the last 24 hours, we have flooded the zone with so much disinformation, people can't tell their clit from their collarbone. The share price is only down half a point. Besides that, damage is minimal.
:'''Homelander''': ''[points at open book]'' What's this?
:'''Sister Sage''': That is a Gutenberg Bible. Martin Shkreli sold it to me at discount.
:'''Homelander''': You're really on top of the world, huh? Peter Thiel, the Obamas calling you for advice. Everyone loves you. 
:'''Sister Sage''': You can't really think I care.
:'''Homelander''': Maybe you didn't used to.
:'''Sister Sage''': It's all for you. The higher the share price, the happier the billionaires. The more you get to do whatever the fuck you wanna do.
:'''Homelander''': Are you aware that NNC is calling me a murderer? Saying that maybe I even did something to my son?
:'''Sister Sage''': No. Everyone knows that Ryan is... ''[sighs]'' Sorry. That he is at boarding school. In Svalbard. ''[chuckling]'' That story's holding. We're good.
:'''Homelander''': And how–how about you, Sage? Are you… good?
:'''Sister Sage''': I'm fine.
:'''Homelander''': You're not distracted at all? After Thomas Godolkin dumped you? You're not numbing the heartache by stabbing your brain?
:'''Sister Sage''': No.
:'''Homelander''': Then, just tell me. How did Starlight get in the building? ''[beat; exhales]'' I WAS '''HUMILIATED!''' As if people don't hate me enough!
:'''Sister Sage''': Your numbers are north of 96.
:'''Homelander''': Anyone can smile for the pollsters, sure, but millions of them are still Starlighters in their hearts! Where it counts! Have you seen the memes? Have you seen the ''memes'' about me?! ''[brief pause]'' Posting them should be a crime.
:'''Sister Sage''': Yes, but we can't go... ''[notices Homelander glaring at her]'' Oh, you're serious. Uh, sir... ''[chuckles]'' Ongoing conflict is useful to us. It keeps people afraid…
:'''Homelander''': Shut up.
:'''Sister Sage''': …which is exactly what we–
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no, no! NO! You promised me Caesar.
:'''Sister Sage''': He was stabbed by his best friends.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, well, I can relate to that! But I need people to be ''devoted!'' To '''''me!'''''
:'''Sister Sage''': May I speak freely?
:'''Homelander''': Give it a shot.
:'''Sister Sage''': I told you, no matter how much power you amass, it will not make you happy.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You know what's gonna make me happy? I think I'll be happy when Starlight and William Butcher are corpses. I want it leaked that in three days, we are going to execute Hugh Campbell, Milk, and the... French one. That'll draw out Starlight and Butcher, and then I will take care of this once and for all.
:'''Sister Sage''': Consider it done, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, wow. Your skin is so oily, like hugging a McRib.
:'''Annie''': Wait, did you—Did you just... How?!
:'''Kimiko''': Speech therapy and fucking therapy therapy and so much fucking TikTok.
:'''Annie''': Well, you sure sound like you're on TikTok.
:'''Butcher''': Sixteen-hour flight and not a fucking peep.
:'''Kimiko''': 'Cause all you can say is &quot;Oi, oi, oi. Cunt, cunt, cunt&quot;.
:'''Butcher''': I liked her better with her mouth shut.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Annie''': Took you long enough. Slowing down in your old age?
:'''A-Train''': ''[laughs and hugs Annie]'' Fuck you, [[w:Killing of JonBenét Ramsey|JonBenét]].
:'''Kimiko''': You guys are friends?
:'''A-Train''': You talk?
:'''Kimiko''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Annie''': Reggie's been helping us out for a while.
:'''A-Train''': ''[takes drink from Annie]'' Thanks. Where is everybody? ''[pause]'' I heard about the Pittsburgh raid last month. Go Marie Moreau. How's her team doing?
:'''Annie''': Yeah, they're scoring a few wins, but not nearly enough.
:'''A-Train''': So, what's with the 911?
:'''Annie''': Hughie, M.M. and Frenchie are gonna be executed tomorrow, so we need your help to break them out.
:'''A-Train''': Of a Vought prison camp? You're fucking crazy.
:'''Annie''': Listen, you don't have to fight, okay? We just need you to run them to the extraction point. It's easy.
:'''A-Train''': Easy. Right. You know Homelander's gonna be waiting. I can't.
:'''Annie''': We know how to kill him, okay? But we need Frenchie to do it.
:'''A-Train''': Great. Well, good luck with that.
:'''Annie''': Hey, are you gonna keep running forever? I mean, if we're gonna really take him out, we need your help.
:'''A-Train''': So what, I'm just supposed to join this little fucking supergroup?
:'''Annie''': I mean, we are down one asshоlе, so… Yeah, maybe.
:'''A-Train''': ''[pause]'' No.
:'''Annie''': Why not?
:'''A-Train''': I said I can't.
:'''Annie''': I know you're scared…
:'''A-Train''': No, I'm not fucking scared! I got a family to protect. ''[Annie sighs]'' I can't.
:'''Annie''': I get it, I do. Me, too. ''[pause]'' Keep them safe.
:''[Annie and Kimiko watch A-Train run off]''
:'''Kimiko''': We shouldn't have let him go.
:'''Annie''': No. Homelander fuckеd him up. Fuckеd me up, too. We're gonna need an Exit Plan B.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk go over their escape plan]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so we hit the east gate.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Oui'', Petit Hughie, when the guards change shift.
:'''Hughie''': And we go at dawn.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We've been through this.
:'''Hughie''': I know. I just wanna go over it a few more times just so I can get it in my head.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hughie… ''[holds out moonshine jar]'' Take a fuckin' drink, will you?
:'''Hughie''': No, thanks.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shrugs; to Frenchie]'' ''Mon ami?''
:'''Frenchie''': You know I quit.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Leave it up to you to have your shit the tightest you've ever had it in a fuckin' internment camp.
:'''Frenchie''': Yeah, what about you? Have you been eating the fresh produce I smuggle in?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Moonshine's got corn in it. ''[takes a sip of moonshine]''
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Hughie]'' Hey… Don't worry. Annie will be fine. She's strong.
:'''Hughie''': ''[takes liquor bottle from Frenchie]'' Kimiko, too. 
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Y'all mοthеrfuckеrs are trippin'. Y'all don't know what the fuck's going on with them. ''[to Frenchie]'' Hey, you don't even know where Kimiko's at.
:'''Hughie''': What, so you don't think you're gonna see Janine and Monique again? Is that it?
:'''Mother's Milk''': What I know is that they're a shit ton safer without me making a mess out of their lives.
:'''Hughie''': M.M., you're the strongest guy I know. We've been in tougher spots than this.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, I did two tours in the 3/8 in Farah Province. The shit I saw would ''fuck you up''. And even that was ''Emily in Paris'' compared to the shit that we looking at here. And even if we make it outta here, we ain't surviving this fuckin' war. We are dead men walking. Chin-chin, mοthеrfuckеrs.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie is shocked to see all of his prison bunkmates brutally murdered in their bunker. He sees Homelander sitting on his bed reading from his journal.]''
:'''Homelander''': &quot;Well, Annie, today marks two months. It's a little insane how much I miss you. I've been having trouble eating. Every day, I see people giving up, but not me. Because I have you.&quot; It's very, very sweet.
:'''Hughie''': They were innocent.
:'''Homelander''': Oh… ''[looks briefly at one of the corpses]'' Well, I'd hardly call them innocent. They lied to me. Played dumb about your little stash in the wall there. We've known about that for quite some time, but I just wanted to give you a little hope.
:'''Hughie''': You're not the one who gave it to me, asshоlе.
:'''Homelander''': Ooh, I like Internment Camp Hughie. She's zesty.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck you. Do it.
:'''Homelander''': What?
:'''Hughie''': Kill me.
:'''Homelander''': Not until we flush out Butcher and Starlight.
:'''Hughie''': You think they're dumb enough to just walk right into your trap?
:'''Homelander''': Let's not insult each other. We both know they're coming. ''[throws the journal at Hughie's feet]'' Do you remember when we first met?
:'''Hughie''': How could I forget? 
:'''Homelander''': Believe Festival. I tried to cleanse your soul. I remember thinking... ''[sighs]'' &quot;Why him?&quot; What does Starlight see in this gangly simp that reeks of fear and Strawberry Smoothie kids' shampoo? You know, William and Victoria Neuman love you, too. I mean, I get it from your perspective. You're punching up. Good for you. But why are they so hopelessly devoted to such staggering mediocrity? Why would Starlight and Butcher piss away their lives to try and rescue you?
:'''Hughie''': Because I'd do it for them.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher and Kimiko find Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk tied up and gagged by Homelander when they break into the Vought internment camp]''
:'''Hughie''': Butcher?! Oh, fuck.
:'''Homelander''': ''[waves]'' Surprise. Welcome, William. ''[to Kimiko]'' And you. The gang is almost all here. Oh, and uh, ''[looks down at Mother's Milk]'' you never told me that this one's nickname is... Mother's Milk. ''[licks his lips; laughs]'' Okay. So, what's the big plan? What, are you gonna sandbag me with the Godolkin virus? ''[Butcher looks shocked]'' Yes. I know all about it.
:'''Kimiko''': Suck my fat dіck!
:''[Homelander lasers Kimiko in half. The top half of her body falls to the floor.]''
:'''Homelander''': Hey, where's Starlight? Just doesn't feel like a party without my little lightning bug here... ''[pause; stares at Butcher]'' Jesus Christ, William. You've got a viper's nest in there. I'd heard about it, of course. But seeing it for myself, it's uh… it–it's incredible. I mean, it's fucking disgusting of course, but it's–it's beautiful. What you've done to yourself, what you've become… and you did all that for me? ''[pause]'' Now that… ''that'' is devotion. You know, William, I know we're not exactly equals, but I'm compelled to say… you are the only one that's ever challenged me. And there's a part of me that will be sad to see you go.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A-Train gets badly injured while being chased by Homelander, who eventually catches up to him]''
:'''Homelander''': Looks like someone ''can'' catch the A-Train after all. End of the road, buddy boy.
:''[A-Train starts laughing at Homelander as he gets back up]''
:'''Homelander''': What's so funny?
:'''A-Train''': What was I so afraid of? You are… fucking nothing.
:'''Homelander''': Really?
:''[Homelander lifts A-Train and pins him against a tree]''
:'''A-Train''': ''[grunts]'' Really. You're just an empty fucking suit. Take away these powers… and what are you, huh? A pathetic… weak… sniveling fucking loser.
:''[Homelander wraps his hand around A-Train's neck and slowly chokes him. A-Train continues laughing until Homelander snaps his neck, killing him instantly.]''

==''&quot;Teenage Kix&quot;'' [5.02]==
:'''Oh Father''': We fight hellfire with holy fire! We fight with the ballot box! We fight with the ammo box! Matthew 10:34 — &quot;I do not come to bring the peace, but a sword&quot;! You are not here to be blessed, you are here to do war!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Goddammit, A-Train. It didn't need to come to this. I don't know, you left me no choice! I know that my leadership style can be stern, but it was for your own good! I like to think of myself as the big brother that you never had. You remember that girlfriend you had? Uh... Pop... Popfang. Betrayed us both, to William Butcher, no less. Huge mess, your fault. What did I do? ''What did I do?'' I gave you a chance to make things right, I reached out my hand... and you bit it! What did I ever do to deserve that? What, was I too nurturing? Too forgiving? Well, maybe. But dammit, you weren't like the others: Snakes, backstabbers. I could count on you, man. I ''did'' count on you. I loved you... but here we are. Why does this keep happening to me? I guess the strongest men are the most alone. You wouldn't understand. Nobody does.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander releases Soldier Boy from his cryogenic chamber at Vought Tower. Soldier Boy wakes up the next morning in Homelander's bedroom.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no. It's okay. It's okay, I don't wanna hurt you. You're safe, okay? You've been in deep freeze again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, Jesus Christ. For how long?
:'''Homelander''': Almost two years in a CIA black site. I just found out this morning.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You found out this morning?
:'''Homelander''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But that just happens to be in your room? ''[pause]'' Did you fuck me?
:'''Homelander''': ''[legitimately confused]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this some kind of incest thing?
:'''Homelander''': No!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Then, what the fuck is this?
:'''Homelander''': ''[stammers]'' Look, I... I want you to find William Butcher.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Find him yourself.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the people that work for me are limited. And you are the best tracker there is. I just–I need you to find him and report back. Very simple.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You want me… to work for you?
:'''Homelander''': Well, why don't we say &quot;work ''with'' me&quot;? And... I can help you. I can give you a proper comeback.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need you for that.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the whole world does think that you're a Russian spy, so…
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[takes a deep breath]'' Okay. Alright, listen to me. I'm no ass-felching Commie. You got that?!
:'''Homelander''': I know, I know. And listen, I am Vought now. Me. So, the public, they're gonna believe that you are whatever I tell them you are. I can resurrect you. I can give you back what you lost. I can even make you number two in The Seven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Number two? ''[Homelander nods]'' Or how about I finish the job, and blast you to Kingdom Fuck.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, you could try. Who knows, you might even fry the V right out of my blood. Or you might not. But I'm betting that you hate William Butcher more than you hate... me. After all, I'm–I'm not the one that betrayed you, am I?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I tried to kill you. The minute I turn my back, how do I know you won't return the favor?
:'''Homelander''': Look... 
:''[Homelander picks up Soldier Boy's shield and gives it to him]''
:'''Homelander''': You find William Butcher for me… all is forgiven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat; looks at the shield]'' Looks like a fuckin' kindergarten ashtray. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Soldier Boy, ''[points at Calhoun and Ashley]'' this is the President, Vice President of the United States of America. They work for me. Everyone, Soldier Boy is gonna be number two in The Seven once he has located William Butcher and Annie January.
:'''The Deep''': What? Wait–Wait, what, sir? No, sir. I... I can do this. I can bring them in.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, like you did with A-Train? We're going in a new direction, Deep. Competence. ''[to Calhoun]'' Oh, and Steve, Soldier Boy's gonna need a full pardon.
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, he–he was guilty of... you know, treason. ''[pause; Homelander just stares at him]'' Consider it done, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific. And you know what? I'm sure the man's dying for a drink. Uh, Steve, can you make him a…
:'''Soldier Boy''': Manhattan.
:'''Homelander''': Manhattan. Thanks, Steve.
:'''Calhoun''': Of course. Can I get you a glass of milk, sir?
:'''Homelander''': ''[sternly]'' No. Steven… I'll also have a Manhattan.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goddamn. Since when could Supes teabag the President?
:'''Homelander''': Since me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Hughie looking despondent on their way back to the Teenage Kix mansion]''
:'''Butcher''': Oi, fuckin' smile, Hughie. I mean, ain't you a little glad A-Train's dead?
:'''Hughie''': …No, I'm not glad he's dead. A-Train did a lot of horrible things, but he saved our lives, and he died a hero. A real hero. There are a lot of other Supes that don't deserve to die either.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, I know you just done a year in the gulag. You've earned your seat at the table, so... I'll give it to ya straight. You gotta knock this wet, gaping pussy shite on the head, mate. Ain't doin' no one no favours. Especially your girl. I mean, that's why she's givin' you the cold shoulder.
:'''Hughie''': Don't talk to me about Annie. You don't know what's going on with her.
:'''Butcher''': Well, I know that she finally knows the fuckin' score. And she knows that you poncin' about with this Jiminy Cricket, &quot;listen to your heart&quot; bollocks is just gonna get her killed.
:'''Hughie''': Is there any part of you left that's still human? ''[pause]'' You're gonna get Annie killed, not me… but I won't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Noted.
:''[A shield suddenly pierces the windshield of the Boys' truck. Hughie catches the virus vial right as they crash into another vehicle.]''
:'''Hughie''': Fuck!
:'''Kimiko''': Hughie, the vial!
:'''Hughie''': It's good. ''[stares at the shield]'' Wait, is that...?
:''[They see Soldier Boy walking up the street towards them]''
:'''Butcher''': Well, well, well.
:'''Kimiko''': He's dead, right? He's supposed to be dead?
:'''Butcher''': Supposed to be. Mallory put him in ice for a bit.
:'''Hughie''': ''[slowly turns to face Butcher]'' You're telling us this ''now?''
:'''Butcher''': Somebody up there likes us, mate.
:'''Hughie''': In what fucking way?!
:'''Butcher''': Well, we wanted a guinea pig. Who better than Homelander's old man? New plan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Butcher''': Oi. Ain't you supposed to be a giant ice dіldо?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Aren't you supposed to be smart? Renting a truck under the name &quot;Don T. Beakunt.&quot; Same alias when we headed to Herogasm.
:'''Butcher''': Well, oldie, but a goodie.
:''[Soldier Boy sees Hughie and Kimiko get out of the truck and run away]'' 
:'''Butcher''': No, mate. Just you and me.
:''[Soldier Boy shoots Butcher three times, but to no avail. Butcher, still standing, looks down at his chest then looks back up at Soldier Boy.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess it's true. You're one of us now.
:'''Butcher''': Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Then fuckin' beat 'em.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Being super is not gonna save you.
:'''Butcher''': That don't stop us helpin' each other. Homelander's double the cunt now, if that's even possible. He needs doin' more than ever. You still fancy his seat on The Seven, don't ya?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Fuck you! We had a deal! I held up my end of the bargain, and you sold me out. Put me back in a fucking box! And for what? 'Cause I was gonna kill some dumb kid?
:'''Butcher''': That kid is your grandson.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, was it worth it? You feeling good about that call right about now? Where is that fucking brat?
:'''Butcher''': Homelander's the one fuckin' you over, mate. Or did he mention that we've got an uber virus strong enough to kill every fuckin' Supe on the planet?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Bullshit.
:'''Butcher''': God's honest. The things this virus can do... ''Fuckin' diabolical.'' Why d'you think he sent you here instead of coming himself, hmm? You're the sacrificial cunt. Again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess we'll see.
:'''Butcher''': You don't get it, do ya? Me, Homelander, your old crew–Everyone fucks you over. Do you wanna know why? 'Cause you... are a dumb fuckin' twat.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hughie Campbell. How is a useless cock-gobbler like you still alive?
:'''Hughie''': All your jokes are about dudes blowing dudes. You're kind of obsessed!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this the virus he was going on about? The so-called &quot;Supe Killer&quot;? Well, not today, you semen-swilling butt pirate.
:'''Hughie''': What?

==''&quot;Every One of You Sons of Bitches&quot;'' [5.03]==
:''[Homelander has a psychotic breakdown and hallucinates Madelyn Stillwell appearing to him as an angel]''
:'''Homelander''': Madelyn...!
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, my boy! My sweet boy... What is wrong? Why are you unhappy?
:'''Homelander''': My father and my son! Everything, it's all falling apart!
:'''Madelyn''': No! No, it's exactly what needed to happen. Yes, it's been foretold! You're about to ascend. Become immortal. Divine. A true god with the love of the world.
:'''Homelander''': But–
:'''Madelyn''': I know, you think love is weak and human. But who is more loved than Jesus? And why should he have more love than you? You save more people than he does. The one, true god...
:'''Homelander''': Yes... But how? How? Millions of people just hate me...
:'''Madelyn''': Well, then you baptize the unfaithful in their own blood. Rip babies from their mothers' wombs.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': Skin parents in front of their children. Rid the world of the wicked.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': The nonbelievers...
:'''Homelander''': They'll call me a monster...
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, the only ones left will be your faithful. And they will love you in their hearts. They'll cry happy tears at the mere thought of you. You have one last task, my love.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Homelander?
:'''Homelander''': Up here.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What do you– ''[sees Homelander taking a bath]'' What in the fuck? Is that milk?
:'''Homelander''': Better. Breastmilk from the NICU at Mount Sinai.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So, what? You asked me up here so I could watch you swim in tit jizz?
:'''Homelander''': I wanna give you another chance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You wanna give ''me'' another chance?
:'''Homelander''': Yes. Help me find that V1.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd rather fist myself with a handful of razors. Besides, Cleopatra Jones said there's no V1 to find.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, there most certainly is. And I am going to find it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah? What makes you so sure?
:'''Homelander''': ''[smiling]'' An angel told me. It's my destiny.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Just when I thought there was a ceiling to how fuckin' weird you could get.
:'''Homelander''': Yes, yes. Make your jokes. You've been blessed with immortality, and what have you done with it? Drink and fuck yourself numb. You... You are a disappointment. You see... ''[stands up and gets out of the tub]'' I am not gonna waste my immortality. I am gonna take what's rightfully mine. I'm asking you if you want a seat at the table because you're my father. But with or without you... a reckoning is coming.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' You know, all I see is a freak. A freak with a bushel of gray pubes. Try some Just for Men.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher takes Ryan to a pub to discuss his plan to kill Homelander with the Supe virus]''
:'''Butcher''': All you do is get him on the blower and tell him you wanna see him. When he rocks up, you chuck the shit in his face... and that'll be it.
:'''Ryan''': Why me?
:'''Butcher''': 'Cause he won't leave the fortress of cuntitude for anyone else.
:'''Ryan''': So this is what you wanted to talk to me about. Killing my dad.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, mate–
:'''Ryan''': Is that all you think I'm good for?
:'''Butcher''': I ain't gonna treat you like a kid no more, alright? You're done with that. Homelander raped your mum. He's gonna burn everything down, and you are the only one who can stop him. Now... Normally, I don't put no stock in any of that bollocks about destiny, but if anyone's got one, it's you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause; sighs]'' I throw this virus at him... what'll happen to me?
:'''Butcher''': You'll die. I'll be close by and we'll go together. Now... I ain't gonna lie to you. This… this is not what your mum wanted… But it's the only way. And it will be justice.
:'''Ryan''': You're asking me to kill myself?
:'''Butcher''': You wouldn't be the first lad to throw his life away in a war... but you would be the first to save the world doin' it. ''[beat; sighs heavily]'' I'll fetch us a pint.
:''[Later, Butcher returns with a pint of beer]''
:'''Butcher''': Here. Told her you were 30. ''[Ryan chuckles]'' Fuck the leather, fuck the lace, here's to the bird who sits on yer face. ''[takes a long sip of beer]''
:'''Ryan''': Where'd you pick that up?
:'''Butcher''': Me old man.
:'''Ryan''': You two close?
:'''Butcher''': Nah, not really. He was a... a piss artist. Used to lose all his money on the gee-gees–horses–and then, he'd come home, beat the livin' daylights outta Len and me. And then later, laugh about it with his mates. Yeah, he was a right cunt.
:'''Ryan''': Where is he now?
:'''Butcher''': Bottom of the Thames. I put him there, just the other day. Only wish I'd done it sooner, before he caused more... more damage.
:'''Ryan''': Butcher... Do you think that I could ever... That I might turn into my dad?
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know.
:'''Ryan''': ''[sighs]'' My mom... Aunt Grace... the others... All I do is hurt people. I can't be around anyone.
:'''Butcher''': Without us–without Supes–the world is a better, safer place.
:'''Ryan''': ''[beat]'' I'll do it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Edgar ''': You're fighting an unbeatable foe. You know that, right?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Who? Vought?
:'''Edgar''': Please. It's more powerful than Vought. Or Homelander. More powerful than nature or life itself. It's profit and loss; supply and demand; the elegant flow of currency across the globe. We're just cogs in a great machine, and we all have our part to play. Say you kill Soldier Boy, or Homelander, or even release this virus. When superheroes go out of fashion, something else will just take their place. Because corporations must still grow. Money must still be made. The machine must still be fed. That is the way of the world.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Motherfucker. When this is all over... you're aiming to run Vought again, ain't you?
:'''Edgar''': Like I said. We all have our part to play.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[pause]'' If that day ever comes... I have a part to play, too. And that's to put a bullet in your fuckin' skull.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy and Firecracker are on her TruthBomb talkshow set preparing for their interview together]''
:'''Firecracker''': It's an honor to have a great American like yourself on the show. I guess it runs in the family, huh? Homelander's father… Dang.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks at the gun at Firecracker's hip]'' Glock, huh? Never saw the appeal in foreign-made guns.
:'''Firecracker''': Well, this ain't your granddaddy's Glock. This here's a 9mm Gen 5, seven-round capacity with a crisp fuckin' break.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, mine's a much longer barrel. ''[takes out his pistol]'' Battle-proven, all-American Colt 1911 chambered in .45 ACP. ''[cocks pistol]'' That'll blow your fuckin' panties off. Now, that little Glock–That's good for a late-night Harlem stroll, but uh, this here? That's a certified Kraut killer.
:'''Firecracker''': I think you mean an antique.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean a classic. You wanna give it a try? ''[Firecracker examines the pistol]'' Now, some can't handle the kick, but something tells me you'll do just fine.
:''[Cut to Soldier Boy and Firecracker in bed together after having sex]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Whew. Well, I gotta hand it to you. I haven't fuckеd that hard since... since I railed Shari Lewis on the balcony of Studio 54.
:'''Firecracker''': I ain't got no idea who that is.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well... Hey, why the hairless pussy?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[gives Soldier Boy a disgusted look]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean, what's the point of going down there if you're not gonna get a fat face full of fur? Is that how Homelander likes you? Like a baby?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' More like a mother.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But you two have fuckеd, right?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[shakes her head]'' Mm-mm.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Damn. I gotta admit, I was kinda just doing this as petty revenge against the freak.
:'''Firecracker''': That's terrible. Who would do such a thing? And you shouldn't say that about your son.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Ah, he thinks he's better than me.
:'''Firecracker''': He doesn't.
:'''Soldier Boy''': How do you know?
:'''Firecracker''': I don't know much, but I can read people. And the way he looks at you? Shoot. I ain't never seen him look at nobody like that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Uh, that's not exactly a compliment, doll. He is the strangest mοthеrfuckеr I've ever known, and I've had a threesome with Gary Busey.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ryan and Homelander meet up at the now-abandoned VoughtLand building]''
:'''Ryan''': Do you remember when you took me here? Pretended to care about me?
:'''Homelander''': I ''do'' care about you, son. I love you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause]'' I need to ask you–
:'''Homelander''': For my forgiveness? You already have it.
:'''Ryan''': What?
:'''Homelander''': Okay, let me finish. I put too much pressure on you to fill my boots. And–And I realize now that, uh... Well, that–that was impossible. But I do have some pretty exciting news. I am going to live forever now. I'll realize my own legacy. And you... ''[scoffs]'' you're off the hook. You can do whatever–
:'''Ryan''': Did you do it? Did you rapе my mom?
:'''Homelander''': What?! Of course not. Who told you–Did William Butcher tell you that? Your mother and I, we had an affair. A consensual affair between two adults.
:'''Ryan''': Your heart's racing.
:'''Homelander''': Well, yeah, because I'm shocked. And–And frankly, my heart's breaking a little bit that you could think I would do something like that.
:''[Ryan lasers Homelander, leaving a visible wound near his chest]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan... Ryan, stop!
:''[Ryan lunges at Homelander and shoves him against the wall. Homelander ducks below Ryan's fist to avoid getting punched by him.]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan! I don't know where this is coming from, because your mother… ''She'' came on to ''me.''
:''[Ryan punches Homelander twice and tries to laser him again. Homelander quickly dodges him again.]''
:'''Homelander''': ''Ryan!'' Son... ''[moves away to avoid another punch]'' Ryan! Ryan, buddy... Look what came out of it: My son! A blessing! ''[Ryan attacks him again]'' Hey, hey! Stop!
:''[Ryan readies another laser, which gets redirected when Homelander grabs his face. He punches Homelander in the face again, but Homelander gets the upper hand and slams Ryan several times into a box. Homelander wipes blood away from his nose as Ryan whimpers in pain.]''
:'''Homelander''': Oh, Ryan... Dammit. Look at what you made me do. ''[pause; kneels down to restrain Ryan]'' Shh... Shh, shh, shh. Hey... It's okay. My sweet, sweet boy.
:''[Homelander proceeds to punch Ryan repeatedly in the face until he is beaten nearly to death]''

==''&quot;King of Hell&quot;'' [5.04]==
:'''Homelander''': I need you for something.
:'''Firecracker''': You do?
:'''Homelander''': I have received the most wonderful message. I was visited... by an angel. And she foretold my destiny.
:'''Firecracker''': Wow. Well, praise be. And what is it?
:'''Homelander''': God.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, that is wonderful. There is no higher calling than servin' the Lord.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. Not serving the Lord. Being the Lord. I am the Messiah. I'm the savior of the world.
:'''Firecracker''': The... Messiah?
:'''Homelander''': Yes.
:''[Firecracker smiles despite her being clearly disturbed by Homelander's delusions]''
:'''Firecracker''': Um... Congrats.
:'''Homelander''': Thank you. ''[pause; Firecracker giggles nervously]'' I always knew I was special. I knew it. I suffered. I suffered so many hardships, and I... I couldn't understand why, but you... You... You always saw it, didn't you? You knew all along I was special. That is why I have chosen you to spread the word of my coming.
:'''Firecracker''': How?
:'''Homelander''': Well, we control the most powerful media apparatus on Earth. Jesus would kill for our marketing. What do you say?
:'''Firecracker''': ...Well, you know I would do anything for you, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys are hiking through the woods near Fort Harmony]''
:'''Kimiko''': It's weird. No birds or animals. It's like…
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. ''[to Mother's Milk]'' Had to park on the other side of the state, didn't ya?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Well, if the hike's too hard, why don't you try tying your boots, mοthеrfuckеr.
:''[Hughie is shocked to see a heavily decomposed corpse]''
:'''Hughie''': Oh, fuck that.
:'''Butcher''': Eh. Not really my type, son.
:'''Hughie''': Hey, how about showing a little respect?
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, Hughie's right, Butcher. You should take her out to dinner first. ''[chuckles; sighs]'' Let's see here. Based on the decomp, these bodies have been here for a while.
:'''Frenchie''': Something ripped them apart. Whatever killed those Boy Scouts might still stalk these woods.
:'''Butcher''': Let's get a move on, then. Didn't come out here to get bummed by Bigfoot.
:''[...]''
:'''Butcher''': Any sign of Super Cunt?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Could already be inside.
:'''Butcher''': Well, let's find out.
:'''Kimiko''': ''[to Hughie]'' What's wrong?
:'''Hughie''': Annie.
:'''Kimiko''': She'll come back.
:'''Hughie''': No. I almost died, but she made it all about her and she took off. I mean, last year, I got bad-touched by a shape-shifter, and she still found a way to make it about her. She can be such a fucking bitch. ''[pause; sees Kimiko looking at him in shock]'' Uh... Jesus. Sorry, I–I didn't mean for that to come out so harsh.
:''[The Boys see an entire field littered with animal carcasses]''
:'''Butcher''': ''Fuckin' hell.''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck happened here?
:'''Frenchie''': Our V'd-up beast enjoyed an amuse-bouche, perhaps?
:'''Butcher''': Well, explains why we didn't hear no animals.
:'''Kimiko''': I said that ten minutes ago.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys discover more decomposed corpses as they make their way downstairs to the lab inside Fort Harmony]''
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. They've been here a minute, haven't they?
:'''Frenchie''': Decades. Hunters... ''[pause; notices the knives embedded in the corpses]'' Look at their knives. These men, they killed each other. What if there is a monster here, but it's us?
:'''Butcher''': What the fuck are you on about, Frenchie?
:'''Frenchie''': [[w:Toxoplasma gondii|Toxoplasmosis]]. It's a parasite in cat shit. It can infect humans. Makes them react with explosive anger.
:'''Hughie''': You think we ate cat shit?
:'''Frenchie''': Ate? No... If the V1 spilled into the groundwater, it could mutate the plants. Their spores fill us with rage, we murder each other, and ''voilà''. We're plant food for these vines.
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so like [[w:The Last of Us (video game)|''The Last of Us'']]?
:'''Frenchie''': No, that is just [[w:The Walking Dead (comic book)|''The Walking Dead'']] with mushrooms. The dead campers, the animals, these hunters... Surely, you all see how strangely you've been acting.
:'''Kimiko''': Us? I've seen you blow cоcaіnе up your dіckhole.
:'''Frenchie''': Wait... You have a point. The copious amount of drug I've taken for decades has surely altered my brain chemistry. That's why I'm not affected. 
:'''Kimiko''': Guess being a junkie was good for something after all.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Romeo and fuckin' Juliet. You two survive this war, I give you six months tops.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy search the ground floor of Fort Harmony while the Boys are in the basement below looking for the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sniffs]'' Smells like deer piss. The last time I was here, I was fresh off the front lines, still picking Nazi brains out of my hair. And only the best of the best got selected for Dr. Vought's trials.
:'''Homelander''': Hmmph.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Not soft little hog-chompers.
:'''Homelander''': Of course. No, I forgot how tough you were.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hey, I'm not the weirdo who doesn't fuck. I mean, your cock's as useless as your cape. What's the point of being famous if you're not getting your dіck wet?
:'''Homelander''': Oh, my dіck was sopping wet when I pulled it out of Stormfront and wiped it on her fucking chin!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; looks down at the decomposed corpses]'' Ooh, look. More uggos. 
:'''Homelander''': Friends of yours?
:''[They unknowingly set off the motion detector that the Boys set up near the stairs]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Oh, shit. They're right above us.
:'''Butcher''': We best get the fuck outta here. Come on.
:'''Hughie''': Hey. Hey, what about the V1?
:'''Mother's Milk''': If Bombsight has the V1, then it saves us from having to torch it.
:'''Hughie''': What are you talking about? Who's &quot;us&quot;?
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' What? You think the world needs more immortal cunts, do ya?
:'''Hughie''': We need it to save Annie and Kimiko! You've been planning this this whole time, haven't you?!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh. Homelander will hear us.
:'''Hughie''': ''[to Mother's Milk]'' And you, you've just been going along with it again.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We can't take the risk, Hughie. And if she has to be collateral damage so that Homelander dies and my daughter lives, we ain't got no fucking choice!
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, easy for you to say. It won't fucking kill you!
:'''Butcher''': Well, at least he knows when to keep his gob shut and do as he's fuckin' told!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Excuse me?
:'''Frenchie''': No, no, no. We don't have time for this. We need to find a way out now.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Wanna know a little secret, Butcher? I ''cheered'' when I found out that you were dying, 'cause at least we'd finally be done with your miserable ass.
:'''Hughie''': You know, I used to say to these guys, &quot;Don't give up on Butcher. There's good in him fighting to get out.&quot; I was wrong. If there was ''anything'' human in there, it's dead. Underneath that chestful of octo-cocks, you are just a fucking monster.
:'''Butcher''': Well, maybe I like it better that way.
:'''Hughie''': That parasite's not just in you. It ''is'' you. ''You're'' the cancer!
:'''Frenchie''': ''Lower your voices.''
:'''Hughie''': You are just as bad as Homelander, maybe worse. And I'm not gonna let you drag us all down with you.
:'''Butcher''': And whatcha gonna do about it?
:'''Hughie''': I'll fucking kill you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': ''[chuckles]'' Tough guy, my ass.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What?
:'''Homelander''': You, your whole bit. This whole &quot;guts and glory&quot; thing. What a fucking joke. I read your classified file. Your brother won a Silver Star for bravery at [[w:Battle of Anzio|Anzio]], and that's what made you beg your father to buy you a spot in Dr. Vought's trials. Because it killed you to see your brother dripping in all that glory, making you look all the more feeble in comparison.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't know shit about me.
:'''Homelander''': Really? I know that when they tried to inject you with the V, you were so fucking petrified that they had to strap you to the table. And you pissed yourself, crying for your mommy like the whiny, spoiled little rich boy that you are. They gave you the world, and you? You deserve ''nothing.''
:''[Soldier Boy stands by as Homelander walks into a small chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Oh, Christ. What's this shithole now?
:''[Soldier Boy shuts the door while Homelander isn't looking and turns the wheel to lock him inside the chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': What are you doing?!
:''[Soldier Boy bends the wheel with his bare hands and tears it off the door]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, well done. I'll be out of here in 30 seconds!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. Maybe not.
:''[Soldier Boy pulls down a lever to open a radioactive valve. Homelander's face immediately starts blistering from the radiation.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': It's enriched uranium. They'd stick us Supes in there to see if we could survive an atomic bomb. Now, for a normal joe, they'd be dead in minutes. But for you, it's a stomach flu. Good luck, though, getting out of a Supe-proof cell while you're bleeding out of your ass.
:''[Homelander fails to kill Soldier Boy by lasering him. He punches the glass as Soldier Boy walks off.]''
:'''Homelander''': Where are you going?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'm gonna go destroy any V1 that I find, you Triple Crown cock jockey.
:'''Homelander''': Why?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't get it, do you? How much I can't fucking stand you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Homelander trapped inside the uranium chamber]''
:'''Butcher''': ''[laughs]'' Oh, if only the world could see you now. Not so fuckin' super, are ya? You, uh... ''[points at Homelander's face]'' You got a bit of... ''[pause; Homelander coughs]'' Did your dad put you in timeout? Ooh… That's gotta sting, knowin' he'd rather spend eternity all alone than with the likes of you. What's the matter? Cunt got your tongue? Will wonders ever cease? ''[chuckles; lights cigarette]'' Tell me something. If you do get the juice in you, you think that makes you a god, don't ya? Seems like I know you pretty well after all. Which is why I know that even if you had a billion twats garglin' your bollocks and singin' &quot;Hosanna&quot;, you still wouldn't be happy. 'Cause deep down, you're just a weak, thin-skinned, needy little boy. You beat the shit outta your own son. Don't get weaker than that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs weakly while groaning in pain]'' Ryan is alive… because he's strong. 'Cause he's my son. The son of God.
:'''Butcher''': You ain't no god. How's about I go fetch the virus, and then we'll watch you shit your fuckin' spine out?
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You don't have it, do you? The virus.
:'''Butcher''': …Don't I?
:'''Homelander''': No, you don't. You would have used it by now. ''[coughs; laughs hysterically]'' You have no way to stop me, do you? Oh, William. You have no idea what you're up against. You can't intervene. I ''will'' get the V1, and when I do, I'm gonna flay you alive. You, Starlight–All the nonbelievers. You're all gonna ''fuckin' drown'' in your own blood.
:'''Butcher''': I promise you, before I die... I'll fuckin' have you. ''[walks away]''
:'''Homelander''': YOU'RE ALL FUCKING PASTE! I can take what's mine, and that makes this WHOLE FUCKING SHITBALL ''MY BIRTHRIGHT! '''MY DESTINY!'''''

===''&quot;One-Shots&quot;'' [5.05]===
:'''Firecracker''': Next up is a $500 million ad blitz with OOH, e-blasts, print and digital. Ain’t nobody won’t know about the Democratic Church of America… and its chosen prophet.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Prophets are servants.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course, sir. Great point. We’re just trying to ease people into it.
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no. We need to prepare America for my ascension. We must be honest. We must be direct. I like “savior.” Or–Or…
:'''Oh Father''': Lord. Yes, I couldn’t agree more, sir. Religion is not about being meek. We should dominate the seven mountains of society, bring the Kingdom of Heaven to Earth! Amen!
:'''Homelander''': Amen.
:'''Firecracker''': Amen! I love all that!
:'''The Deep''': So fucking dope.
:'''Oh Father''': Easter is just around the corner. How perfect would it be for your second coming to come on the day of Jesus' resurrection?
:'''Homelander''': Mmm… Second coming? Let's be clear: I am not the son of God.
:'''Oh Father''': Well, of course. Many people believe that Jesus is both God incarnate and the son.
:'''Homelander''': Well, that's just confusing. I don't want my church getting involved in all... that.
:'''Firecracker''': Exactly. Besides, if we pull up our timeline, you won't have… ''[picks up a bag with a large book inside]'' this.
:''[Firecracker kneels in front of Homelander, who accepts the book. He takes it out of the bag and sees &quot;The Homelander Bible&quot; with himself embossed on the cover.]''
:'''Oh Father''': We're gonna drag our feet because of a book?
:'''Firecracker''': Not a book. ''The'' book. The Homelander Bible.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause; lifts the book with his hands]'' Heavy.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[quietly]'' What the fuck?
:'''Firecracker''': It's got the Old Testament, the New Testament, and the brand new American Testament, written by A.I. trained on the works of Pat Robertson. See, we need to pass the torch, sir. From Jesus to you. Sir, we don't get more than one chance at a first impression. Are we really gonna rush something this important? We ain't [w:Arby's|Arby's]], after all.
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Firecracker''': We're the [[w:The Cheesecake Factory|Cheesecake Factory]].
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs deeply]'' Okay. We'll do it your way.
:'''Firecracker''': Thank you.
:'''Sister Sage''': You do realize this kind of sudden religious upheaval is likely to generate widespread civil unrest?
:'''Firecracker''': Local law should be able to handle the suburbs, but we could use extra hands in major metros.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, let's recall all Supes stationed overseas. American heroes should be protecting America, not Who-Gives-A-Fuckistan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Firecracker''': We ain't doin' that again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[chuckles]'' That's what you said the last six times.
:'''Firecracker''': No, I really mean it this time.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You seem a little out of it. Did you nut? 'Cause usually, you nut.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' Were you baptized?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah, in front of half of Chestnut Hill. Governor Sproul did the honors. My family kept up appearances, of course. Then, we never set foot in church again.
:'''Firecracker''': I had lunch today with the reverend who baptized me. He's been gettin' heat to switch over to our church. You think Homelander might be open to going easy on him? Just... give him a little more time? I wouldn't ask if it was just anybody, but that man practically raised me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So you didn't nut. You know, this whole Homelander as God shit, it's... it's fucking ridiculous.
:'''Firecracker''': Really? You think so?
:'''Soldier Boy''': If he's the second coming, then what does that make me? Joseph? I mean, talk about the biggest cuck in history. Man trades his best cow to bag some hot-ass virgin, and then God comes and squirts his baby gravy up her meat wallet. Fuck that.
:'''Firecracker''': I guess I've been struggling with where to place Homelander in my heart in relation to Jesus and the Lord.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course I worship Homelander. I mean, he's always been a god to me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Look, I'll tell you this. If there is a God... sure as hell didn't come out of my balls. I gotta go.
:'''Firecracker''': Where you off to?
:'''Soldier Boy''': L.A… ''[snickers]'' I fucking hate L.A.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker is filming her new episode of TruthBomb and starts reading her opening monologue from a teleprompter]''
:'''Firecracker''': Welcome to ''Truthbomb''. Our top story tonight's a personal one. It's the story of my hometown church, Holy Baptist of Daytona. It was the church I grew up in. Sang my hymns from the pews there every Sunday. But that church... That church…
:''[The teleprompter stops scrolling]''
:'''Firecracker''': ''[beat]'' That church... has become a hotbed of Starlighter infestation. And my old pastor, Reverend Greg Dupree, has been infected by Starlight's seditious propaganda. Now... I never told a soul this, but when I was a little girl, the reverend regularly had me over for supper. Alone. ''[pause; chuckles]'' No. Nothing ever happened to me, but... ''[sighs]'' I heard stories about his &quot;Fish Fry Fridays.&quot; And if that ain't code for child groomin', I don't know what is. How much longer are we gonna let these institutional pedo churches diddle our babies? Americans deserve better. They deserve... Homelander. They deserve the Democratic Church of America. ''[starts crying]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Would you like some knee pads?
:'''The Deep''': Sorry, what?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're looking at me like you wanna suck my hog. So I'm asking you if you would like some knee pads.
:'''Homelander''': Go easy on the little guy. He brought me Stan Edgar.
:'''The Deep''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Homelander''': You may leave.
:''[Soldier Boy stays behind with Homelander in the conference room as the rest of The Seven leave]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What crawled up your shithole?
:'''Homelander''': No idea what you mean.
:'''Soldier Boy''': When you're pissy, you tend to make everybody else's lives pissy too. Stan Edgar still stonewalling you?
:'''Homelander''': I've talked to him three times now. Says he has no idea where the V1 is. Heart rate steady as a rock. I'm starting to believe him.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That slippery fuck used to fetch my cоcaіnе. ''[pause]'' You know what? I have an idea. Why don't I take a crack at him? ''[Homelander stares at him]'' What, you don't trust me?
:'''Homelander''': Well, you did lock me in a room with nuclear material and tried to stop me getting the V1, so I'm sure you can understand my hesitance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You could've killed me at Fort Harmony, but you didn't. Maybe I feel like I owe you.
:'''Homelander''': Or maybe you're lying.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. ''[inhales deeply]'' Give me an hour. I'll meet you at Edgar's cell.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hughie''': If you and M.M. still think–
:'''Butcher''': Oh, for fuck's sakes, Hughie. Knock it off with this V1 shite! You're doin' me fuckin' head in! ''[sees his dog Terror eating out of the trash]'' Oi, Terror. Cut it out. Come on. ''[to Hughie]'' Now, listen. If we do find that stuff, we're not makin' any fuckin' vaccines out of it, alright? We're not the department of fuckin' health. We burn that shit before Homelander gets his paws on it, and that's that.
:'''Hughie''': Well, if you wanna kill yourself, knock yourself out, but why do you have to decide for the rest of us?
:'''Butcher''': Oh, 'cause I'm fuckin' right! 'Cause I've always been right! I've been tellin' you lot from the fuckin' start the sky is fallin', and guess what? The sky fuckin' fell.
:'''Hughie''': Well, you kinda helped bring it down.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, don't give me that bollocks. Listen, Homelander thinks he's a fuckin' god. Once he becomes immortal, he's gonna start killin' like one, and we are talkin' millions of people. Now, are you tellin' me you're honestly happy to risk all of that for a life on the run with your girl, knowin' that you could've stopped it? You can live with that, can ya?
:'''Hughie''': What if it was Becca? You'd just let her die?
:'''Butcher''': …I ''did'' let her die.
:'''Hughie''': Look… I know that Homelander comes first. I really do. All I'm asking is that we try. Annie and Kimiko deserve that much.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mister Marathon and Malchemical try to convince Soldier Boy to kill Homelander while he is unconscious]''
:'''Mister Marathon''': Hey, man, we don't have a problem with you. Honest, ''[stutters]'' but–but fuck this fucking guy. You know, he fuckеd my life. Look, if you help us get rid of him, then we all win, and you–you can have The Seven. And I don't even, like, really care if you bring me back or whatever.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need to kill him to get The Seven.
:'''Mister Marathon''': No. Yeah, of course not, but what about all that creepy shit he's doing with that church? I mean, they're rounding up everybody cool. All the hοοkers, the drug dealers.
:'''Malchemical''': They wanna ban pοrn. I mean, they wanna ban fucking abortions!
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay, well, banning abortion would be a big problem for me personally.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Exactly, for all of us. So, if we kill him, we can stop worrying about being cops or gods or asexual weirdos. You know, we can go back to fucking and–and being fucking awesome!
:'''Malchemical''': Look, we know you've got that fucked-up chest blast thing. I mean, I was at Herogasm. I saw it.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Just finish him now. Take away his powers, so we can curb stomp him while we have the chance. 
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' He is a fucking asexual weirdo.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Malchemical''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But as much as it pains me to say this, he's ''my'' fucking asexual weirdo. Nobody fucks my son but me.
:'''Mister Marathon''': What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …That came out wrong.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker sees Homelander sitting on the couch in the Seven common room]''
:'''Firecracker''': Homelander… How was L.A.? Did you catch tonight's ''Truthbomb?''
:'''Homelander''': I did indeed. And it was a real barn-burner. Well done.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[smiles]'' Thank you, sir. That means the world.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' How's sеx with my father? ''[Firecracker's smile disappears]'' Is he good at it? Are you thinking about me when you're making love to him?
:'''Firecracker''': I never meant to cross a line or offend you in...
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Don't fret, little one. I don't care about the sеx, really. But I ''do'' care about your little chats after sеx.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, whatever Soldier Boy told you, I can assure you that I...
:'''Homelander''': You mean your inner turmoil when it comes to me and, uh, Jesus? Are you thinking of Jesus when you're praising me?
:'''Firecracker''': No, you are my one and only savior.
:'''Homelander''': You say that, but your jagged little heart is whirring like a hummingbird. ''[sighs; gets up from the couch]'' You're supposed to worship me, love me and me alone.
:'''Firecracker''': I do.
:'''Homelander''': I believed in you. Turns out, you don't believe in me. ''[pause]'' I need you to collect your things and leave.
:'''Firecracker''': But I ''do'' believe in you. I love you! I am the only one here who ever has! I gave you ''everything!'' I gave you my soul! Everybody else here, they're just... They're just scared of you. Or they want something from you, but I have always loved you for you. Just the strongest, smartest, best man on Earth.
:'''Homelander''': ''[scoffs]'' Man?
:'''Firecracker''': No, no, no, no, no. A god. No. No, ''the'' God. My Lord, that look you used to get when you'd suckle me? I felt like Mother Mary herself. I felt blessed to nourish someone as important as you. ''[pause; Homelander sighs]'' But nothing I ever did was good enough, was it? You cast me out into the cold, which was so much worse than never feeling your warmth in the first place. So all I have been tryin' to do is to get you to see me the way that you used to. Hell, only reason I was with Soldier Boy was that your reflected light is better than no light at all. Please, sir. I love you. We all need love, don't we? Even God.
:''[Homelander reaches his hand out to touch Firecracker's cheek, then kills her by impaling her head on the left wing of an eagle statue]''

===''&quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;'' [5.06]===
:''[Hughie and Annie are laying down on the hood of his car looking at clouds together]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so that one?
:'''Annie''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Hughie''': It’s like a rabbit, but it’s got way too many feet.
:'''Annie''': Really? I see a frog eating a dick. This is definitely in my top five.
:'''Hughie''': Top five what?
:'''Annie''': Things to do with you.
:'''Hughie''':  You’re saying that like… this is the last time we’re gonna get to do this. Hey, listen to me. The guys are gonna find Bombsight, they’ll get the V1. You’re not dying. We will have plenty of time to look for filthy shapes in the clouds.
:'''Annie''': God, I don’t know where it comes from. This… unshakeable hope.
:'''Hughie''': Whenever I’d get upset as a kid, which was a lot… my dad would always say, “You know, son, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react.” And that was infuriating. But then, I spent a year in an internment camp, and I had no control over anything. I’d just lay there at night, just… so fucking angry, hearing my dad’s voice in my head… but then I finally understood what he meant. ‘Cause the only thing I had left was… hope. And it is ''really'' fucking hard to hang on to, but I… I’m trying.
:'''Annie''': I think… you might be low-key the strongest person I know.
:'''Hughie''': I’d prefer high-key… ''[Annie chuckles]'' but thank you.
:'''Annie''': ''[beat; points at the sky]'' Look, it’s–it’s Big Bird eating a dick.
:'''Hughie''': You see an unsettling amount of dicks up there, I’m just saying.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy look around Bombsight's empty house to find the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': You sure this is the right address?
:'''Homelander''': I'm sure.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, there's no sign of Bombsight... or fucking anyone. Maybe Crime Analytics got a bad tip.
:''[Homelander sees a laptop on the table. When he opens it up, a video of him and Stormfront having sex starts playing. He notices Soldier Boy watching along with him and closes the laptop.]'' 
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck was that?
:'''Homelander''': I can explain.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That was Clara. You told me she killed herself.
:'''Homelander''': She did, after Ryan did ''that'' to her. It's his fault.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So then what? You locked her in your apartment like some kind of amputee fuck doll...
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ...and filmed her for kicks?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no! It wasn't like that! I did... I did everything I could to keep her alive, to–to make her happy. ''[pause; Soldier Boy punches him]'' Just listen to me, okay?! It wasn't all like... that. I couldn't let her go. I didn't know how... because I loved her. And so did you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're goddamn right I loved her.
:'''Homelander''': She wouldn't want us fighting over her.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Don't fucking tell me what she would want! You knew her for five minutes; I was with her for decades! 
:'''Homelander''': Hold–Hold on. This–This is a setup. Someone's trying to separate us. This has been plan... Fucking Sage. It's Sage. You see? She's trying to screw with us. ''[Soldier Boy turns around to leave]'' Oh, come on! I can't find the V1 without you!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; turns back around]'' Good. You don't deserve to live forever.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher tries to call Bombsight using one of his old phone numbers, but gets a fax machine instead]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': That a fuckin’ fax machine?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, it’s the last of the numbers she had for him. ''[to Golden Geisha]'' Oi. Twenty-three fuckin' numbers you had for Bombsight, and they’re all fuckin' shite?
:'''Golden Geisha''': Do you know how to delete them? I was telling you the truth. I have no idea where Bombsight is, or how to reach him. So just let me go.
:'''Butcher''': Kimiko, keep an eye on her.
:''[Frenchie joins Butcher and M.M. on their way back to their hideout]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck do we do now?
:'''Butcher''': Fetch us some pliers and put the screws to her. She knows more than she’s lettin’ on.
:'''Frenchie''': Or she doesn’t. I’m sorry, but she’s not that good of an actress.
:''[M.M. and Frenchie draw their weapons when they see Sister Sage inside]''
:'''Sister Sage''': He’s right. ''[sarcastically]'' Ooh, I know. The villain switching sides in the final hour. What a twist, a shock that never happens. But unclench those assholes, fellas. I’m here to help. I’m a free agent now. I came alone. You can shoot me in the heart whenever you like.
:'''Butcher''': That’s a good idea. ''[takes out and cocks his gun]''
:'''Sister Sage''': That would go against our mutual interest.
:'''Butcher''': Which is?
:'''Sister Sage''': Stopping a petulant, laser-eyed narcissist from also becoming immortal. I want him dead as much as you do.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You spent the last couple of years building Homelander up, and now you wanna tear him down? Why the fuck should we trust you?
:'''Sister Sage''': You can’t trust me. Honestly, you shouldn’t, but you will.
:'''Frenchie''': And why would we do that?
:'''Sister Sage''': I know Campbell and Starlight are headed to plant your little virus. You can trace anyone, if you know what to look for. And you baboons, you leave a trail of banana peels wherever you go. I could have stopped you, I could have killed you... but I didn’t.
:'''Butcher''': That virus is gonna wipe out the fuckin’ lot of ya. And you don’t strike me as the suicide type.
:'''Sister Sage''': I will be in my nice, quiet bunker, reading [[w:Ludwig Wittgenstein|Wittgenstein]] in peace. That is, unless that bleached blonde baby gets his hands on V1 and survives. You must have realized by now Granny out there has no clue how to contact Bombsight, but I do. And I can get him here. So... let me help.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': I wanted to say... I'm very sorry about this. I watched every episode of ''Undercover Geisha'' when I was a kid. I loved it, even the parts that were ridiculous racist stereotypes. It meant so much to see someone who looked like me on TV. ''[brief pause]'' We watched with Japanese subtitles. It's how I learned English.
:'''Golden Geisha''': If you're such a big fan, let me go.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Désolé'', but we cannot. Not until we get the V1 that Bombsight possesses.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Wait, that's what you're after? V1? ''[laughs]''
:'''Kimiko''': What–What's so funny?
:'''Golden Geisha''': I'll tell Bombsight to just give it to you. I sure as hell don't want it.
:'''Kimiko''': ...He stole the V1 for you, so you two could be together forever. ''[pause]'' But you didn't take it.
:'''Golden Geisha''': ''[shakes her head]'' I said no... which is why he left. I guess, for him, watching me get old was too painful.
:'''Frenchie''': I'm sorry, I do not understand. Why won't you take it?
:'''Golden Geisha''': To live forever? It'd be torture. ''[scoffs]'' You're both so young. You wouldn't understand.
:'''Kimiko''': Maybe I would.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Summer is only beautiful when you know winter is coming.
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Kimiko]'' Is this how you feel?
:'''Kimiko''': ''[nods]'' Annie and I talked about it. We'd have to... ''[signing]'' We'd have to watch you and Hughie waste away. Neither of us wants to die, but... we don't wanna be vampires either. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Legend leads Homelander inside the Boys' hideout, which is deserted]''
:'''The Legend''': Okay, um... 
:'''Homelander''': No one here.
:'''The Legend''': I grant you, it–it looks like that, yeah. But this–this is their hideout, so I'm sure there's plenty of clues all over here. ''[picks up a receipt]'' Here you go. ''[Homelander sighs]'' Oh, no. Well, this is nothing. But, you know, they have to have left something behind, you know?
:'''Homelander''': ''[looks at the receipt; chuckles]'' Hmmph. It's not nothing.
:'''The Legend''': It's a Taco Bell receipt. 
:'''Homelander''': No, ''this is Sage!'' Taunting me! 
:'''The Legend''': Okay.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs frustratingly; sits on bed]'' This makes no sense. This makes no sense. This makes no sense! ''[chuckles]'' You said I would get the V1. You said I'd be a god. Did I do something wrong? Did I fail you? I did everything you asked me to. I gave my boy up. Please, don't leave me here to just rot. Don't just let me become ''nothing'' like ''him.'' Please…
:'''The Legend''': I gotta assume… The only reason you're saying all this stuff is, you're... You're not gonna let me walk out of here alive, are you? Yeah? Okay. Yeah. ''[pause]'' Alright, look, kid. I've been around a long time and I… This is just how it goes. You know all those old Supes at the home? Every one of them had their moments in the sun and they all thought it was gonna go on forever. And every one of them got shoved out in the end. They all got shoved out. All of them. And I know what I'm talking about; I did the shoving. I mean, look at Goldie. One minute, she's on the set of ''Undercover Geisha'', getting finger-popped by Lorenzo Lamas. The next, she's shilling for VoughtAlert necklaces and Activia poop yogurt.
:'''Homelander''': Geisha sells VoughtAlert necklaces?
:'''The Legend''': Guess you don't watch your own news channel. The point is, look, there comes a day… I got shoved out, too. Never saw it coming. Did not see that coming, and I fought it like hell. But in the end... bupkis. There is a natural order to things. And the more you fight the inevitable, the more the inevitable just… cunt-punts you. ''[pats Homelander's shoulder]'' Yep.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; gets up]'' You're not scared of me.
:'''The Legend''': No, I'm not scared of you. I… I feel for you, kid. I do. I mean, you're a fucking whackjob. But, you know, there's talent. So… No surprise there. ''[pause]'' So, there you go. Do what you gotta do.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' ...You can go.
:'''The Legend''': I–I can go?
:'''Homelander''': Leave. No words. Just go. Now. Go. ''Now.''
:'''The Legend''': Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
:''[After The Legend leaves the Boys' hideout, Homelander makes a call on his cell phone]''
:'''Operator''': How can I help you, sir? 
:'''Homelander''': I need the tracking coordinates for a VoughtAlert necklace.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Tough skin or not, I can still break your fucking neck!
:'''Bombsight''': Ben, stop. Please.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; lets Bombsight go]'' Goddammit.
:'''Bombsight''': ''[beat]'' I can't give it to you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goldie doesn't even wanna take it.
:'''Bombsight''': Then maybe someday, I'll find someone who will!
:'''Soldier Boy''': You were always gonna fuck it up with Goldie anyway. You could never hold down a girl! It was either a smack needle up your dick or— 
:'''Bombsight''': Having to stand next to you? You were everyone's favorite from the start, especially Clara. Everything they wanted us to be, everything they were working towards, they saw it in you. I fucking hated you for it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No. No, I wasn't everything Clara wanted. I didn't know how to be.
:'''Bombsight''': But you loved her. What wouldn't you give to have her back... forever?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …I really fuckin' hate you.
:'''Bombsight''': No shit.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But we don't have to kill each other. I can take away your immortality... and your powers. You won't have to live forever alone. Then, you and Goldie can spend whatever time you have left like you want.
:'''Bombsight''': Why would you do that for me?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd do it for the V1.
:''[Bombsight hands a case to Soldier Boy, who opens it to find a V1 syringe inside. The Boys hear an explosion from far away and run towards it. Cut to Bombsight looking at the wound near his shoulder.]''
:'''Bombsight''': This is the first time I've seen my blood in... I can't remember.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander finds Soldier Boy with the V1 syringe he received from Bombsight. The Boys and Sister Sage watch them from the nearby woods.]''
:'''Homelander''': Don't. I don't wanna fight you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks down at the syringe]'' You know, Clara used to say the craziest shit. That I was the strongest Supe alive, the ultimate expression of what we could be... but she was wrong. ''[pause]'' She hadn't met you yet.
:''[Soldier Boy offers the syringe to Homelander, who accepts it]''
:'''Butcher''': No.
:'''Sister Sage''': I don't understand. He wasn't supposed to... It's impossible.
:'''Homelander''': But you hate me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I love her more... and this is what she would want.
:''[Homelander lasers his left arm and injects the V1 into his wound. His eyes immediately start flickering and he kneels to the ground in pain. The Boys watch in horror as Homelander screams and shoots powerful lasers into the sky.]''
:'''Butcher''': '''''Run.'''''

===''&quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;'' [5.07]===
:''[A V1-empowered Homelander sits in President Calhoun's chair in the Oval Office. He hears a knock at the door]''
:'''Homelander''': Come in! ''[in a cheerful tone, as Ashley and Calhoun enter]'' Hello, you two. Isn't it a beautiful day?
:'''Calhoun''': ''[nervously]'' You're welcome to use this office as long as you need. 
:'''Homelander''': I know. Let's get right to it! While Oh Father is hard at work on my divine unveiling, I have a few action items I need you to handle.
:'''Ashley''': Of course. Anything, sir.
:'''Homelander''': The Democratic Church of America is to be the ''official'' national religion, based around the one true god: Me. 
:'''Calhoun''': Great idea.
:'''Homelander''': I want every boundary between church and state dissolved. I want troops sent into every sanctuary city that took in Starlighters. Issue an executive order banning abortion. Also, breastfeeding is now mandatory. Babies need their mothers, not fake milk. Actually, outlaw that, too.
:'''Ashley''': Sir? 
:'''Homelander''': ''[intensely] Ban nut milk.'' The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was making you think nuts were milk. ''[snickers after a short silence]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': Those are all, uh, fantastic ideas, sir, um... I'll run them by Congress– 
:'''Homelander''': No, disband it.
:'''Calhoun''': Sorry? 
:'''Homelander''': Disband Congress. It's better for freedom. 
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, I don't really have that authority. 
:'''Homelander''': ''[frowns]'' Ashley, do me a favor. Read Steven's mind. I want to know if he's a true believer. 
:'''Calhoun''': But of... course I am, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific! Then you have nothing to worry about. ''[gets up and steps over to Ashley]'' Do it. 
:''[He rips off her wig, and she gasps and covers her face in shame as &quot;Back Ashley&quot; is revealed]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': ''[revolted]'' What the fuck is that? 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': Don't look!
:'''Homelander''': Don't make me ask again. 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': ''[stammering in fear]'' Sir, I–I... Sir, I...
:'''Ashley''': ''[sighs; steels herself and turns back to Homelander]'' He's terrified of you, sir. He thinks you're just a tiny bit psychotic.
:'''Homelander''': Steven! ''[steps towards Calhoun, glaring intensely]'' Here I am. A living god. ''[rests his hands on Calhoun's shoulders]'' Right before your eyes. And still, your faith wavers? ''[beat; Calhoun is clearly too terrified to answer]'' It's okay. No, I'm not angry. ''[clasps his head gently]'' But I ''am'' disappointed.
:''[He crushes Calhoun's head into a pulp, then wipes the blood off his hands on a sofa. An utterly terrified Ashley stares at Calhoun's body as Homelander sits back down at the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie sees Kimiko suffering from radiation exposure inside a homemade uranium chamber while Butcher and Frenchie watch]''
:'''Hughie''': What the fuck is going on in here?
:'''Kimiko''': I'm okay.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' The second she's ready, we go the next dose, alright?
:'''Hughie''': &quot;Next dose?&quot; Are you kidding?! Look at her! What are you doing?
:'''Butcher''': Plan fuckin' B, my son. If at first you don't succeed, find another hole to fuck. See, Soldier Boy's flashy tіt blast got me thinkin', he–he weren't born with that power. The Ivans gave it to him through a consistent application of scientific methodology.
:'''Frenchie''': They threw an atom bomb worth of radiation at him.
:'''Butcher''': Right. So, usin' the research we nicked from 'em a few donkeys back, me and Frenchie are doin' the same thing to Kimiko. She gets Soldier Boy's power, she tіt-blasts Homelander, bees and fuckin' honey.
:'''Hughie''': So when we kept asking what you two were up to, and you kept saying, &quot;Mind your fuckin' business, cunt,&quot; it was this?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah.
:'''Hughie''': Butcher, this is... the most insane-ass shit I ever heard. In a few weeks, you're gonna somehow do what it took the Russians over a decade?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, 'cause unlike the Ivans, we got us a livin', breathin' supercomputer bunked down in student services.
:'''Hughie''': Sage? All she does is self-medicate and binge [[w:Love Island (American TV series)|''Love Island'']]. This could fucking kill Kimiko. Frenchie…
:'''Frenchie''': No. It's not my wish.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck Butcher. Who cares what he wants?
:''[Kimiko coughs and stumbles out of the uranium chamber]'' 
:'''Kimiko''': Not Butcher. ''[panting heavily]'' Me. It's my call.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Annie''': Oh Father's up to something big at Vought Studios, but we don't know what. Could be a trap.
:'''Frenchie''': Could be.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' You stay here with Kimiko and Sage. We'll bust into the studio, nab the holy twat, stomp on his bollocks till he gives us Homelander's next move. And then I'll do the cunt and we'll call it an honest day's work, yeah?
:'''Hughie''': No. Quit acting like we're going on a milk run. It's over. ''[voice breaking]'' We lost.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' [[w:Victoria Beckham|Posh Spice]] was easily the most shit member of [[w:Spice Girls|the squad]]. Could barely sing or dance. No discernible talent whatsoever. Wasn't even featured on [[w:Wannabe|&quot;Wannabe&quot;]], but did that stop her? No. You look at her now... still married with [[w:David Beckham|Becks]]. Fifteen engagement rings, 32 ''Vogue'' covers, inducted by Prince William into the Order of the bloody British Empire. Even I doubted her move into women's apparel, but her line is a staple at Paris fuckin' Fashion Week. You see, despite her obvious disadvantages–includin' a tragic inability to smile–she never gave up, and we ain't givin' up either.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shakes his head]'' Your fuckin' pep talks.
:'''Frenchie''': Terrible.
:'''Annie''': The worst.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, bollocks. That was a fuckin' knockout.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Alone and depressed, The Deep tosses an aluminum can into the sea. A hammerhead shark appears and [[w:Samuel L. Jackson|speaks to him]]]''
:'''Xander''': Yo! You gonna get that, bro?
:'''The Deep''': Xander! ''[chuckles]'' Hey, what you doing here? So good to see you, man.
:'''Xander''': We wouldn't want a little guppy to get caught in that can, my man. Come on in, grab it. ''[swims in circles]''
:'''The Deep''': I've had such a fucked day, man. You wouldn't believe it, bro.
:'''Xander''': Yeah. Get in the water, man.
:'''The Deep''': No. You're not... You're not listening to me–
:'''Xander''': ''[angrily]'' Ah, shut the fuck up! We know you were responsible for the pipeline genocide. Remember March 15th, motherfucker!
:'''The Deep''': No... No, wait, that–That wasn't me, man!
:'''Xander''': If you step one foot, one fucking stupid-ass simian toe in the water ''ANYWHERE''—an ocean, a stream, a fucking puddle—on God, son, you're dead! We're gonna ''KILL YOU!'' You understand, you dumb motherfucker?! Water is fucking off limits to you! ''YOU ARE '''DEAD''' TO US! [swimming away]'' Bitch-ass!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy sees Homelander standing over a scale model of a Homelander-themed amusement park]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': The fuck is all this?
:'''Homelander''': Hey. HomeLand. Next phase of the reboot. Showing the faithful my boundless love for them. ''[points at a monument of himself]'' That there? The Homelander Mount. We're saying that this is where the angel visited me, and I ascended to godhood.
:'''Soldier Boy''': …Right.
:'''Homelander''': You're gonna love this. ''[waves his hand over a rollercoaster]'' This area here? We're calling it: &quot;Soldier Boy! Father of God!&quot; All the fastest rides are gonna be there, and every night, there's gonna be a ticker tape parade, honoring you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' I'm gonna head down to Bogotá. Figure I'll snort and fuck my way through the banana republics.
:'''Homelander''': Uh... When are you coming back?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Probably not for… ever.
:'''Homelander''': What? Look, if you don't like the park, I mean, forget it. I don't–I don't care about any of it. You want hοοker and blow? I'll get you all the drugs and all the wrinkly old whοres in America.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No, you're not hearing me.
:'''Homelander''': No, you're not hearing ''me.'' I am where I am because you chose me. To help me. So, I want you to have whatever you want.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What I want is to get away.
:'''Homelander''': From what? ''[scoffs]'' Or from who?
:'''Soldier Boy''': This just ain't my bag, kid.
:'''Homelander''': I welded your shield back together, you never use it. I hired you a three-star Michelin chef, all you ever order is meatloaf and chili. I even had L.J. mock up a new super suit for you. 
:''[Homelander pulls out a poster of Soldier Boy wearing an American flag-patterned suit]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, God. See, that's what I'm talking about.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, God? What?!
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't want that. And another thing: I gave you the V1 because of Clara. Because that's what she would've wanted. This was never gonna be a &quot;playing catch on the front lawn&quot;, &quot;fixing up the old Impala&quot; bullshit. You're too weird.
:'''Homelander''': Stop fucking saying that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': And you're no god. No angel came to you. You had a wet dream about some chick with big, juicy tіts. If that makes you a god, then I'm a fucking god every night.
:'''Homelander''': '''I ''AM'' GOD!'''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' Would it help if I said, &quot;It's not you, it's me&quot;?
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs softly]'' If you wanna go, go.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sighs; pats Homelander on the back]'' Good luck, son.
:''[Homelander suddenly grabs Soldier Boy from behind and puts him in a chokehold until he passes out]''
:'''Homelander''': I love you.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mother's Milk''': Help me out here. In the movie, was Homelander God, the [[w:Second Coming|Second Coming]], or Jesus' brother? 'Cause the world-building in there was fuckеd.
:'''Annie''': Does it even matter? I mean, they will believe whatever he tells them. What is the fucking point of saving people if they don't wanna be saved? This is what they want.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[beat]'' Alright. So, back when my Gramps got killed by Soldier Boy, shit got rough. Neighborhood kids laughed, called me soft, shit like that. And then one day, I find this pigeon on the sidewalk, wing busted. He was in bad shape. So, I run inside, grab a shoebox and a first aid kit, and come to start nursin' it. I figure, if I can save just this one life, maybe it might somehow make up for... Anyway, those same fuckin' kids, they found out. And so now, it don't take a genius to go from Marvin Milk to Mother's Milk. &quot;Yo, Mother's Milk, you letting that sky rat suck on your tіttіеs or that dіck?&quot; They were relentless. Right up until the day when that little bird flew outta my house and right over their heads, good as new. And you know what, Annie? Here's the crazy thing: I loved my new name. 'Cause I loved helpin' people. I loved being kind, makin' my family proud. That name was a badge of honor for me. Now, last year, locked up in that detention center, something changed. My heart, it just got scarred over. Like the world had just broken it one too many times. And yeah, it got easier, just being cynical. Checking out. But I also hated myself a lot more. I went from being a mοthеrfuckеr with a heart to just being a mοthеrfuckеr. But you know what? Givin' a shit in a world where nobody gives a shit? It ain't soft. It's hard as hell… and that's the real me. ''[pause]'' And that's the real you, too.

===''&quot;Blood and Bone&quot;'' [5.08]===
:'''Homelander''': It's alright. I'm not here to hurt you.
:'''Ryan''': You mean like last time?
:'''Homelander''': Look at you. No harm done.
:'''Ryan''': How'd you find me?
:'''Homelander''': Crime Analytics caught wind of a young man flying outside Kolvereid. Tends to draw attention.
:'''Ryan''': I don't want your help.
:'''Homelander''': I know. You've made that very clear. But you're also the son of God, and you should not be sleeping in a barn. You can have a whole floor of the Tower. Do what you want with it, come and go as you please.
:'''Ryan''': I don't wanna be anywhere near you.
:'''Homelander''': Everything is different now. I've ascended. I'm immortal.
:'''Ryan''': Then, why do you give a shit about what happens to me?
:'''Homelander''': Because we're family. ''[Ryan scoffs]'' We have the same blood pumping through our veins.
:'''Ryan''': Yeah, well, you've got your shitty racist dad. So you don't need me.
:'''Homelander''': No, Soldier Boy doesn't matter. You and I, that's all that matters. I know you, because I ''am'' you. And you're me.
:'''Ryan''': Dad… Get fuckеd. I am nothing like you. You were already the most powerful person on Earth. And you were a lonely, miserable piece of fucking shit, throwing tantrums when you didn't get what you want. Why the fuck would more power make you any better? It's just going to make you an even more lonely, miserable piece of shit. Scaring people into calling you God doesn't make you God. And deep down, you know that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; tearfully sighs]'' It's okay. You don't know what's going on. It's okay… but you will.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[After M.M. kills Oh Father by blocking his mouth with a metal mouth gag, causing his head to explode and spill blood all around]''
:'''Hughie''': I really need a new job.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''The Deep''': It was all a test. Yes! The universe is rewarding me for my loyalty, just like [[w:Sean Connery|Sean Connery]] rewarded [[w:Kevin Costner|Costner]] at the end of ''[[w:Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves|Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves]]''!
:'''Hughie''': Sweet ''Jesus'', you're a moron.
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander gives his Easter address from the Oval Office and begins reading from a teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': My fellow Americans... Happy Easter. A day commemorating Jesus, who, as we all know, was tortured, stripped of his dignity and killed. And that's all well and good. But you're Americans. You deserve a God who doesn't die. A God who fights back. A God you can believe in. Well, today, I bring you good news. Recently, I was visited by an exquisite angel bearing the gift of revelation. As I bathed in her light, her heavenly lips spilled sweet truth into my ear, and I was awakened to my true purpose. Not just to be the world's greatest hero but to save all humanity. To be... the Second Coming. But in a way, really, I'm the First Coming. America... I am the Lord. Your savior. I am your God. And as such, I'm going to usher this world into a new, golden dawn. An age in which your God moves among you, seen and heard. Your prayers are truly answered when you visit homelander.church. And all I ask for in return… I simply ask that you open your hearts and put your faith in me. Those who accept my truth will be welcomed into a land of milk and honey. For I am your Fa…
:''[Homelander stares blankly at the teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': I am… ''[beat]'' But no matter what I do, some of you people will never accept me into your hearts. Never love me. Never believe in me. And to such heretics, I offer oblivion. And those who seek to destroy me, you will die the most horrible of deaths, as befits your wickedness. My reign will last forever, and when this world is cold and dead, I shall remain... eternal. God of the ashes.
:''[Butcher and Kimiko suddenly break into the Oval Office]''
:'''Butcher''': Evening, cunts. Daddy's home. 
:'''Homelander''': William. ''[pause]'' I was starting to think you weren't going to hold up your end of our deal.
:'''Butcher''': Scorched earth?
:'''Homelander''': A shame about the French one. How's your little science experiment going without him?
:'''Butcher''': Let's find out.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander is now at Butcher's mercy after losing his powers]''
:'''Butcher''': Shock and awe, my son. Blood and fuckin' bone.
:''[Homelander charges toward Butcher, who grabs Homelander's fist with his left hand and punches him three times with the other. Butcher grabs Homelander again and prepares to land another punch.]''
:'''Butcher''': This... is for Frenchie.
:''[Butcher punches Homelander in the face repeatedly, knocking him down to the floor and leaving him cowering in fear]''
:'''Homelander''': Stop! You owe me. All the times I could've killed you and I didn't, I let you live. I'll–I'll give you Vought. ''[Butcher picks up his crowbar]'' I'll give you Vought, alright? You can do whatever you want with it, okay? I'll–I'll... Becca. You want your wife back? I'll have a shape-shifter be her. ''[whimpers]'' Just tell me! I'll fucking suck your dіck! Please! I'll do anything! You want me to eat shit? I'll eat your fucking shit! I'll eat your fucking shit on live TV! ''[pause; Butcher knocks him down against the desk]'' Madelyn, you promised me. It's not real. ''[to Butcher]'' You can't fucking do this. ''You can't fucking do this! '''I am the Homelander!'''''
:'''Butcher''': No. Nah, you ain't nothing. And this... This is for my Becca.
:'''Homelander''': No, no...
:''[Butcher stabs Homelander in the head with the straight end of the crowbar. He lifts it up, breaking Homelander's skull open and spilling his brains all over the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie confronts Butcher at Vought Tower to stop him from releasing the Supe virus. Butcher is looking out the window when Hughie enters the main conference room.]''
:'''Butcher''': Traffic?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. Accident on the bridge. Should have taken the tunnel.
:'''Butcher''': ''[turns around]'' I thought you might try to stop me. But you shouldn't have come alone. You should've brought a fuckin' army.
:'''Hughie''': No. If you were gonna release the virus, you would've done it already.
:'''Butcher''': Unless... I'm waitin' for all the Supe cunts to clock in for the day shift. Not much point shootin' spunk into an empty fuckin' building, now is there?
:'''Hughie''': Okay, well, now I kinda wish I brought an army. Where's the virus, Butcher?
:'''Butcher''': I dumped it in the sprinkler tank. Frenchie's idea, God rest the mad bastard. ''[picks up remote controller]'' All I gotta do is pull this trigger, and it rains kill juice on all 99 floors. Shit will be worldwide within a couple of days.
:'''Hughie''': Why? I mean, we already won.
:'''Butcher''': Won? No, we just gave 'em a black eye. As long as there's Vought, there'll be Supes. And sooner or later, some cunt that's already out there becomes the next Homelander, and you fuckin' know it. No. We need to end the whole bloody notion of Supes, and we need to make it permanent. I mean, you can see it, right? This is it. This is the moment.
:'''Hughie''': You dragged me through fucking hell... for this. For now. To be your... canary. Or your Kessler. Or Lenny. But here's the thing: You don't need me for that. You never did. It's already in you. I can see it. You might have a broken fucking heart, but you have one. You are not a monster, Butcher. It just hurts to be human.
:'''Butcher''': I'm sorry, mate. Superheroes... are done.
:'''Hughie''': ''[pulls out gun]'' I can't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Petit Hughie and his gun. Takes some big bollocks to pull the trigger on a mate.
:'''Hughie''': ''[aims the gun at Butcher]'' I will if I have to.
:'''Butcher''': ''[chuckles]'' Nah. You ain't got the…
:''[Butcher takes the gun from Hughie, punches him and throws him across the room]''
:'''Butcher''': Stay down.
:''[Butcher sees Hughie staring at the remote and rushes to take it before Hughie does. Hughie quickly gets up and trades more blows with Butcher, spitting blood onto the floor after getting punched hard in the gut. Eventually, Butcher gains the upper hand and picks up the remote while Hughie lies helpless on the floor. Before he can pull the remote trigger, he has a hallucination of Lenny lying in Hughie's place. He gets shot in the abdomen by Hughie as he moves his finger away from the trigger. Realizing what he did, Hughie rushes to Butcher's side.]''
:'''Hughie''': I'm sorry. Um... I didn't wanna–I didn't wanna do that. Um... I'm–I'm gonna call an ambulance, okay?
:'''Butcher''': I wouldn't bother. It's alright, Hughie. I gave you no choice. I... I wasn't gonna stop. All the blood... and shite I put you through... and none of it made a blind bit of difference. You–You stayed yourself... no matter what I done. ''[coughs]''
:'''Hughie''': Hey.
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know what to do.
:'''Hughie''': You don't need to do anything.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat; Hughie holds his hand]'' You really are... the spittin' of Lenny.
:''[Butcher slowly loses his grip on Hughie as he dies]'' 
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': ''[last lines; to his and Annie's unborn daughter]'' Take care of your mom, Robin.
==External links==
{{The Boys}}
[[Category:The Boys (TV series) seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>ryxta3kypeh1k3o05uiy56egc2x9q5w</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943891</id>
      <parentid>3943889</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:27:52Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Constantin1995</username>
        <id>3215997</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943891</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="89868" sha1="dox3mll9uo3hj2td2h8xwphiuxqhero" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Season''' [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 1|1]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 2|2]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 3|3]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 4|4]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 5|5]]  [[The Boys (TV series)|Main]]
----
'''''[[w:The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]''''' is an American superhero television series developed by Eric Kripke for [[w:Amazon Prime Video|Amazon Prime Video]]. Based on the comic book of the same name by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson, it follows the eponymous team of vigilantes as they combat superpowered individuals who abuse their abilities.

==''&quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;'' [5.01]==
:''[Homelander meets with Sister Sage after the Flight 37 video gets leaked to the public by Annie]''
:'''Sister Sage''': We knew this would happen sooner or later. We've been ready. In the last 24 hours, we have flooded the zone with so much disinformation, people can't tell their clit from their collarbone. The share price is only down half a point. Besides that, damage is minimal.
:'''Homelander''': ''[points at open book]'' What's this?
:'''Sister Sage''': That is a Gutenberg Bible. Martin Shkreli sold it to me at discount.
:'''Homelander''': You're really on top of the world, huh? Peter Thiel, the Obamas calling you for advice. Everyone loves you. 
:'''Sister Sage''': You can't really think I care.
:'''Homelander''': Maybe you didn't used to.
:'''Sister Sage''': It's all for you. The higher the share price, the happier the billionaires. The more you get to do whatever the fuck you wanna do.
:'''Homelander''': Are you aware that NNC is calling me a murderer? Saying that maybe I even did something to my son?
:'''Sister Sage''': No. Everyone knows that Ryan is... ''[sighs]'' Sorry. That he is at boarding school. In Svalbard. ''[chuckling]'' That story's holding. We're good.
:'''Homelander''': And how–how about you, Sage? Are you… good?
:'''Sister Sage''': I'm fine.
:'''Homelander''': You're not distracted at all? After Thomas Godolkin dumped you? You're not numbing the heartache by stabbing your brain?
:'''Sister Sage''': No.
:'''Homelander''': Then, just tell me. How did Starlight get in the building? ''[beat; exhales]'' I WAS '''HUMILIATED!''' As if people don't hate me enough!
:'''Sister Sage''': Your numbers are north of 96.
:'''Homelander''': Anyone can smile for the pollsters, sure, but millions of them are still Starlighters in their hearts! Where it counts! Have you seen the memes? Have you seen the ''memes'' about me?! ''[brief pause]'' Posting them should be a crime.
:'''Sister Sage''': Yes, but we can't go... ''[notices Homelander glaring at her]'' Oh, you're serious. Uh, sir... ''[chuckles]'' Ongoing conflict is useful to us. It keeps people afraid…
:'''Homelander''': Shut up.
:'''Sister Sage''': …which is exactly what we–
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no, no! NO! You promised me Caesar.
:'''Sister Sage''': He was stabbed by his best friends.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, well, I can relate to that! But I need people to be ''devoted!'' To '''''me!'''''
:'''Sister Sage''': May I speak freely?
:'''Homelander''': Give it a shot.
:'''Sister Sage''': I told you, no matter how much power you amass, it will not make you happy.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You know what's gonna make me happy? I think I'll be happy when Starlight and William Butcher are corpses. I want it leaked that in three days, we are going to execute Hugh Campbell, Milk, and the... French one. That'll draw out Starlight and Butcher, and then I will take care of this once and for all.
:'''Sister Sage''': Consider it done, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, wow. Your skin is so oily, like hugging a McRib.
:'''Annie''': Wait, did you—Did you just... How?!
:'''Kimiko''': Speech therapy and fucking therapy therapy and so much fucking TikTok.
:'''Annie''': Well, you sure sound like you're on TikTok.
:'''Butcher''': Sixteen-hour flight and not a fucking peep.
:'''Kimiko''': 'Cause all you can say is &quot;Oi, oi, oi. Cunt, cunt, cunt&quot;.
:'''Butcher''': I liked her better with her mouth shut.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Annie''': Took you long enough. Slowing down in your old age?
:'''A-Train''': ''[laughs and hugs Annie]'' Fuck you, [[w:Killing of JonBenét Ramsey|JonBenét]].
:'''Kimiko''': You guys are friends?
:'''A-Train''': You talk?
:'''Kimiko''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Annie''': Reggie's been helping us out for a while.
:'''A-Train''': ''[takes drink from Annie]'' Thanks. Where is everybody? ''[pause]'' I heard about the Pittsburgh raid last month. Go Marie Moreau. How's her team doing?
:'''Annie''': Yeah, they're scoring a few wins, but not nearly enough.
:'''A-Train''': So, what's with the 911?
:'''Annie''': Hughie, M.M. and Frenchie are gonna be executed tomorrow, so we need your help to break them out.
:'''A-Train''': Of a Vought prison camp? You're fucking crazy.
:'''Annie''': Listen, you don't have to fight, okay? We just need you to run them to the extraction point. It's easy.
:'''A-Train''': Easy. Right. You know Homelander's gonna be waiting. I can't.
:'''Annie''': We know how to kill him, okay? But we need Frenchie to do it.
:'''A-Train''': Great. Well, good luck with that.
:'''Annie''': Hey, are you gonna keep running forever? I mean, if we're gonna really take him out, we need your help.
:'''A-Train''': So what, I'm just supposed to join this little fucking supergroup?
:'''Annie''': I mean, we are down one asshоlе, so… Yeah, maybe.
:'''A-Train''': ''[pause]'' No.
:'''Annie''': Why not?
:'''A-Train''': I said I can't.
:'''Annie''': I know you're scared…
:'''A-Train''': No, I'm not fucking scared! I got a family to protect. ''[Annie sighs]'' I can't.
:'''Annie''': I get it, I do. Me, too. ''[pause]'' Keep them safe.
:''[Annie and Kimiko watch A-Train run off]''
:'''Kimiko''': We shouldn't have let him go.
:'''Annie''': No. Homelander fuckеd him up. Fuckеd me up, too. We're gonna need an Exit Plan B.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk go over their escape plan]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so we hit the east gate.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Oui'', Petit Hughie, when the guards change shift.
:'''Hughie''': And we go at dawn.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We've been through this.
:'''Hughie''': I know. I just wanna go over it a few more times just so I can get it in my head.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hughie… ''[holds out moonshine jar]'' Take a fuckin' drink, will you?
:'''Hughie''': No, thanks.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shrugs; to Frenchie]'' ''Mon ami?''
:'''Frenchie''': You know I quit.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Leave it up to you to have your shit the tightest you've ever had it in a fuckin' internment camp.
:'''Frenchie''': Yeah, what about you? Have you been eating the fresh produce I smuggle in?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Moonshine's got corn in it. ''[takes a sip of moonshine]''
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Hughie]'' Hey… Don't worry. Annie will be fine. She's strong.
:'''Hughie''': ''[takes liquor bottle from Frenchie]'' Kimiko, too. 
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Y'all mοthеrfuckеrs are trippin'. Y'all don't know what the fuck's going on with them. ''[to Frenchie]'' Hey, you don't even know where Kimiko's at.
:'''Hughie''': What, so you don't think you're gonna see Janine and Monique again? Is that it?
:'''Mother's Milk''': What I know is that they're a shit ton safer without me making a mess out of their lives.
:'''Hughie''': M.M., you're the strongest guy I know. We've been in tougher spots than this.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, I did two tours in the 3/8 in Farah Province. The shit I saw would ''fuck you up''. And even that was ''Emily in Paris'' compared to the shit that we looking at here. And even if we make it outta here, we ain't surviving this fuckin' war. We are dead men walking. Chin-chin, mοthеrfuckеrs.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie is shocked to see all of his prison bunkmates brutally murdered in their bunker. He sees Homelander sitting on his bed reading from his journal.]''
:'''Homelander''': &quot;Well, Annie, today marks two months. It's a little insane how much I miss you. I've been having trouble eating. Every day, I see people giving up, but not me. Because I have you.&quot; It's very, very sweet.
:'''Hughie''': They were innocent.
:'''Homelander''': Oh… ''[looks briefly at one of the corpses]'' Well, I'd hardly call them innocent. They lied to me. Played dumb about your little stash in the wall there. We've known about that for quite some time, but I just wanted to give you a little hope.
:'''Hughie''': You're not the one who gave it to me, asshоlе.
:'''Homelander''': Ooh, I like Internment Camp Hughie. She's zesty.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck you. Do it.
:'''Homelander''': What?
:'''Hughie''': Kill me.
:'''Homelander''': Not until we flush out Butcher and Starlight.
:'''Hughie''': You think they're dumb enough to just walk right into your trap?
:'''Homelander''': Let's not insult each other. We both know they're coming. ''[throws the journal at Hughie's feet]'' Do you remember when we first met?
:'''Hughie''': How could I forget? 
:'''Homelander''': Believe Festival. I tried to cleanse your soul. I remember thinking... ''[sighs]'' &quot;Why him?&quot; What does Starlight see in this gangly simp that reeks of fear and Strawberry Smoothie kids' shampoo? You know, William and Victoria Neuman love you, too. I mean, I get it from your perspective. You're punching up. Good for you. But why are they so hopelessly devoted to such staggering mediocrity? Why would Starlight and Butcher piss away their lives to try and rescue you?
:'''Hughie''': Because I'd do it for them.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher and Kimiko find Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk tied up and gagged by Homelander when they break into the Vought internment camp]''
:'''Hughie''': Butcher?! Oh, fuck.
:'''Homelander''': ''[waves]'' Surprise. Welcome, William. ''[to Kimiko]'' And you. The gang is almost all here. Oh, and uh, ''[looks down at Mother's Milk]'' you never told me that this one's nickname is... Mother's Milk. ''[licks his lips; laughs]'' Okay. So, what's the big plan? What, are you gonna sandbag me with the Godolkin virus? ''[Butcher looks shocked]'' Yes. I know all about it.
:'''Kimiko''': Suck my fat dіck!
:''[Homelander lasers Kimiko in half. The top half of her body falls to the floor.]''
:'''Homelander''': Hey, where's Starlight? Just doesn't feel like a party without my little lightning bug here... ''[pause; stares at Butcher]'' Jesus Christ, William. You've got a viper's nest in there. I'd heard about it, of course. But seeing it for myself, it's uh… it–it's incredible. I mean, it's fucking disgusting of course, but it's–it's beautiful. What you've done to yourself, what you've become… and you did all that for me? ''[pause]'' Now that… ''that'' is devotion. You know, William, I know we're not exactly equals, but I'm compelled to say… you are the only one that's ever challenged me. And there's a part of me that will be sad to see you go.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A-Train gets badly injured while being chased by Homelander, who eventually catches up to him]''
:'''Homelander''': Looks like someone ''can'' catch the A-Train after all. End of the road, buddy boy.
:''[A-Train starts laughing at Homelander as he gets back up]''
:'''Homelander''': What's so funny?
:'''A-Train''': What was I so afraid of? You are… fucking nothing.
:'''Homelander''': Really?
:''[Homelander lifts A-Train and pins him against a tree]''
:'''A-Train''': ''[grunts]'' Really. You're just an empty fucking suit. Take away these powers… and what are you, huh? A pathetic… weak… sniveling fucking loser.
:''[Homelander wraps his hand around A-Train's neck and slowly chokes him. A-Train continues laughing until Homelander snaps his neck, killing him instantly.]''

==''&quot;Teenage Kix&quot;'' [5.02]==
:'''Oh Father''': We fight hellfire with holy fire! We fight with the ballot box! We fight with the ammo box! Matthew 10:34 — &quot;I do not come to bring the peace, but a sword&quot;! You are not here to be blessed, you are here to do war!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Goddammit, A-Train. It didn't need to come to this. I don't know, you left me no choice! I know that my leadership style can be stern, but it was for your own good! I like to think of myself as the big brother that you never had. You remember that girlfriend you had? Uh... Pop... Popfang. Betrayed us both, to William Butcher, no less. Huge mess, your fault. What did I do? ''What did I do?'' I gave you a chance to make things right, I reached out my hand... and you bit it! What did I ever do to deserve that? What, was I too nurturing? Too forgiving? Well, maybe. But dammit, you weren't like the others: Snakes, backstabbers. I could count on you, man. I ''did'' count on you. I loved you... but here we are. Why does this keep happening to me? I guess the strongest men are the most alone. You wouldn't understand. Nobody does.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander releases Soldier Boy from his cryogenic chamber at Vought Tower. Soldier Boy wakes up the next morning in Homelander's bedroom.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no. It's okay. It's okay, I don't wanna hurt you. You're safe, okay? You've been in deep freeze again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, Jesus Christ. For how long?
:'''Homelander''': Almost two years in a CIA black site. I just found out this morning.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You found out this morning?
:'''Homelander''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But that just happens to be in your room? ''[pause]'' Did you fuck me?
:'''Homelander''': ''[legitimately confused]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this some kind of incest thing?
:'''Homelander''': No!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Then, what the fuck is this?
:'''Homelander''': ''[stammers]'' Look, I... I want you to find William Butcher.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Find him yourself.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the people that work for me are limited. And you are the best tracker there is. I just–I need you to find him and report back. Very simple.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You want me… to work for you?
:'''Homelander''': Well, why don't we say &quot;work ''with'' me&quot;? And... I can help you. I can give you a proper comeback.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need you for that.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the whole world does think that you're a Russian spy, so…
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[takes a deep breath]'' Okay. Alright, listen to me. I'm no ass-felching Commie. You got that?!
:'''Homelander''': I know, I know. And listen, I am Vought now. Me. So, the public, they're gonna believe that you are whatever I tell them you are. I can resurrect you. I can give you back what you lost. I can even make you number two in The Seven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Number two? ''[Homelander nods]'' Or how about I finish the job, and blast you to Kingdom Fuck.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, you could try. Who knows, you might even fry the V right out of my blood. Or you might not. But I'm betting that you hate William Butcher more than you hate... me. After all, I'm–I'm not the one that betrayed you, am I?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I tried to kill you. The minute I turn my back, how do I know you won't return the favor?
:'''Homelander''': Look... 
:''[Homelander picks up Soldier Boy's shield and gives it to him]''
:'''Homelander''': You find William Butcher for me… all is forgiven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat; looks at the shield]'' Looks like a fuckin' kindergarten ashtray. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Soldier Boy, ''[points at Calhoun and Ashley]'' this is the President, Vice President of the United States of America. They work for me. Everyone, Soldier Boy is gonna be number two in The Seven once he has located William Butcher and Annie January.
:'''The Deep''': What? Wait–Wait, what, sir? No, sir. I... I can do this. I can bring them in.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, like you did with A-Train? We're going in a new direction, Deep. Competence. ''[to Calhoun]'' Oh, and Steve, Soldier Boy's gonna need a full pardon.
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, he–he was guilty of... you know, treason. ''[pause; Homelander just stares at him]'' Consider it done, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific. And you know what? I'm sure the man's dying for a drink. Uh, Steve, can you make him a…
:'''Soldier Boy''': Manhattan.
:'''Homelander''': Manhattan. Thanks, Steve.
:'''Calhoun''': Of course. Can I get you a glass of milk, sir?
:'''Homelander''': ''[sternly]'' No. Steven… I'll also have a Manhattan.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goddamn. Since when could Supes teabag the President?
:'''Homelander''': Since me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Hughie looking despondent on their way back to the Teenage Kix mansion]''
:'''Butcher''': Oi, fuckin' smile, Hughie. I mean, ain't you a little glad A-Train's dead?
:'''Hughie''': …No, I'm not glad he's dead. A-Train did a lot of horrible things, but he saved our lives, and he died a hero. A real hero. There are a lot of other Supes that don't deserve to die either.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, I know you just done a year in the gulag. You've earned your seat at the table, so... I'll give it to ya straight. You gotta knock this wet, gaping pussy shite on the head, mate. Ain't doin' no one no favours. Especially your girl. I mean, that's why she's givin' you the cold shoulder.
:'''Hughie''': Don't talk to me about Annie. You don't know what's going on with her.
:'''Butcher''': Well, I know that she finally knows the fuckin' score. And she knows that you poncin' about with this Jiminy Cricket, &quot;listen to your heart&quot; bollocks is just gonna get her killed.
:'''Hughie''': Is there any part of you left that's still human? ''[pause]'' You're gonna get Annie killed, not me… but I won't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Noted.
:''[A shield suddenly pierces the windshield of the Boys' truck. Hughie catches the virus vial right as they crash into another vehicle.]''
:'''Hughie''': Fuck!
:'''Kimiko''': Hughie, the vial!
:'''Hughie''': It's good. ''[stares at the shield]'' Wait, is that...?
:''[They see Soldier Boy walking up the street towards them]''
:'''Butcher''': Well, well, well.
:'''Kimiko''': He's dead, right? He's supposed to be dead?
:'''Butcher''': Supposed to be. Mallory put him in ice for a bit.
:'''Hughie''': ''[slowly turns to face Butcher]'' You're telling us this ''now?''
:'''Butcher''': Somebody up there likes us, mate.
:'''Hughie''': In what fucking way?!
:'''Butcher''': Well, we wanted a guinea pig. Who better than Homelander's old man? New plan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Butcher''': Oi. Ain't you supposed to be a giant ice dіldо?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Aren't you supposed to be smart? Renting a truck under the name &quot;Don T. Beakunt.&quot; Same alias when we headed to Herogasm.
:'''Butcher''': Well, oldie, but a goodie.
:''[Soldier Boy sees Hughie and Kimiko get out of the truck and run away]'' 
:'''Butcher''': No, mate. Just you and me.
:''[Soldier Boy shoots Butcher three times, but to no avail. Butcher, still standing, looks down at his chest then looks back up at Soldier Boy.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess it's true. You're one of us now.
:'''Butcher''': Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Then fuckin' beat 'em.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Being super is not gonna save you.
:'''Butcher''': That don't stop us helpin' each other. Homelander's double the cunt now, if that's even possible. He needs doin' more than ever. You still fancy his seat on The Seven, don't ya?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Fuck you! We had a deal! I held up my end of the bargain, and you sold me out. Put me back in a fucking box! And for what? 'Cause I was gonna kill some dumb kid?
:'''Butcher''': That kid is your grandson.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, was it worth it? You feeling good about that call right about now? Where is that fucking brat?
:'''Butcher''': Homelander's the one fuckin' you over, mate. Or did he mention that we've got an uber virus strong enough to kill every fuckin' Supe on the planet?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Bullshit.
:'''Butcher''': God's honest. The things this virus can do... ''Fuckin' diabolical.'' Why d'you think he sent you here instead of coming himself, hmm? You're the sacrificial cunt. Again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess we'll see.
:'''Butcher''': You don't get it, do ya? Me, Homelander, your old crew–Everyone fucks you over. Do you wanna know why? 'Cause you... are a dumb fuckin' twat.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hughie Campbell. How is a useless cock-gobbler like you still alive?
:'''Hughie''': All your jokes are about dudes blowing dudes. You're kind of obsessed!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this the virus he was going on about? The so-called &quot;Supe Killer&quot;? Well, not today, you semen-swilling butt pirate.
:'''Hughie''': What?

==''&quot;Every One of You Sons of Bitches&quot;'' [5.03]==
:''[Homelander has a psychotic breakdown and hallucinates Madelyn Stillwell appearing to him as an angel]''
:'''Homelander''': Madelyn...!
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, my boy! My sweet boy... What is wrong? Why are you unhappy?
:'''Homelander''': My father and my son! Everything, it's all falling apart!
:'''Madelyn''': No! No, it's exactly what needed to happen. Yes, it's been foretold! You're about to ascend. Become immortal. Divine. A true god with the love of the world.
:'''Homelander''': But–
:'''Madelyn''': I know, you think love is weak and human. But who is more loved than Jesus? And why should he have more love than you? You save more people than he does. The one, true god...
:'''Homelander''': Yes... But how? How? Millions of people just hate me...
:'''Madelyn''': Well, then you baptize the unfaithful in their own blood. Rip babies from their mothers' wombs.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': Skin parents in front of their children. Rid the world of the wicked.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': The nonbelievers...
:'''Homelander''': They'll call me a monster...
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, the only ones left will be your faithful. And they will love you in their hearts. They'll cry happy tears at the mere thought of you. You have one last task, my love.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Homelander?
:'''Homelander''': Up here.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What do you– ''[sees Homelander taking a bath]'' What in the fuck? Is that milk?
:'''Homelander''': Better. Breastmilk from the NICU at Mount Sinai.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So, what? You asked me up here so I could watch you swim in tit jizz?
:'''Homelander''': I wanna give you another chance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You wanna give ''me'' another chance?
:'''Homelander''': Yes. Help me find that V1.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd rather fist myself with a handful of razors. Besides, Cleopatra Jones said there's no V1 to find.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, there most certainly is. And I am going to find it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah? What makes you so sure?
:'''Homelander''': ''[smiling]'' An angel told me. It's my destiny.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Just when I thought there was a ceiling to how fuckin' weird you could get.
:'''Homelander''': Yes, yes. Make your jokes. You've been blessed with immortality, and what have you done with it? Drink and fuck yourself numb. You... You are a disappointment. You see... ''[stands up and gets out of the tub]'' I am not gonna waste my immortality. I am gonna take what's rightfully mine. I'm asking you if you want a seat at the table because you're my father. But with or without you... a reckoning is coming.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' You know, all I see is a freak. A freak with a bushel of gray pubes. Try some Just for Men.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher takes Ryan to a pub to discuss his plan to kill Homelander with the Supe virus]''
:'''Butcher''': All you do is get him on the blower and tell him you wanna see him. When he rocks up, you chuck the shit in his face... and that'll be it.
:'''Ryan''': Why me?
:'''Butcher''': 'Cause he won't leave the fortress of cuntitude for anyone else.
:'''Ryan''': So this is what you wanted to talk to me about. Killing my dad.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, mate–
:'''Ryan''': Is that all you think I'm good for?
:'''Butcher''': I ain't gonna treat you like a kid no more, alright? You're done with that. Homelander raped your mum. He's gonna burn everything down, and you are the only one who can stop him. Now... Normally, I don't put no stock in any of that bollocks about destiny, but if anyone's got one, it's you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause; sighs]'' I throw this virus at him... what'll happen to me?
:'''Butcher''': You'll die. I'll be close by and we'll go together. Now... I ain't gonna lie to you. This… this is not what your mum wanted… But it's the only way. And it will be justice.
:'''Ryan''': You're asking me to kill myself?
:'''Butcher''': You wouldn't be the first lad to throw his life away in a war... but you would be the first to save the world doin' it. ''[beat; sighs heavily]'' I'll fetch us a pint.
:''[Later, Butcher returns with a pint of beer]''
:'''Butcher''': Here. Told her you were 30. ''[Ryan chuckles]'' Fuck the leather, fuck the lace, here's to the bird who sits on yer face. ''[takes a long sip of beer]''
:'''Ryan''': Where'd you pick that up?
:'''Butcher''': Me old man.
:'''Ryan''': You two close?
:'''Butcher''': Nah, not really. He was a... a piss artist. Used to lose all his money on the gee-gees–horses–and then, he'd come home, beat the livin' daylights outta Len and me. And then later, laugh about it with his mates. Yeah, he was a right cunt.
:'''Ryan''': Where is he now?
:'''Butcher''': Bottom of the Thames. I put him there, just the other day. Only wish I'd done it sooner, before he caused more... more damage.
:'''Ryan''': Butcher... Do you think that I could ever... That I might turn into my dad?
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know.
:'''Ryan''': ''[sighs]'' My mom... Aunt Grace... the others... All I do is hurt people. I can't be around anyone.
:'''Butcher''': Without us–without Supes–the world is a better, safer place.
:'''Ryan''': ''[beat]'' I'll do it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Edgar ''': You're fighting an unbeatable foe. You know that, right?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Who? Vought?
:'''Edgar''': Please. It's more powerful than Vought. Or Homelander. More powerful than nature or life itself. It's profit and loss; supply and demand; the elegant flow of currency across the globe. We're just cogs in a great machine, and we all have our part to play. Say you kill Soldier Boy, or Homelander, or even release this virus. When superheroes go out of fashion, something else will just take their place. Because corporations must still grow. Money must still be made. The machine must still be fed. That is the way of the world.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Motherfucker. When this is all over... you're aiming to run Vought again, ain't you?
:'''Edgar''': Like I said. We all have our part to play.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[pause]'' If that day ever comes... I have a part to play, too. And that's to put a bullet in your fuckin' skull.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy and Firecracker are on her TruthBomb talkshow set preparing for their interview together]''
:'''Firecracker''': It's an honor to have a great American like yourself on the show. I guess it runs in the family, huh? Homelander's father… Dang.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks at the gun at Firecracker's hip]'' Glock, huh? Never saw the appeal in foreign-made guns.
:'''Firecracker''': Well, this ain't your granddaddy's Glock. This here's a 9mm Gen 5, seven-round capacity with a crisp fuckin' break.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, mine's a much longer barrel. ''[takes out his pistol]'' Battle-proven, all-American Colt 1911 chambered in .45 ACP. ''[cocks pistol]'' That'll blow your fuckin' panties off. Now, that little Glock–That's good for a late-night Harlem stroll, but uh, this here? That's a certified Kraut killer.
:'''Firecracker''': I think you mean an antique.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean a classic. You wanna give it a try? ''[Firecracker examines the pistol]'' Now, some can't handle the kick, but something tells me you'll do just fine.
:''[Cut to Soldier Boy and Firecracker in bed together after having sex]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Whew. Well, I gotta hand it to you. I haven't fuckеd that hard since... since I railed Shari Lewis on the balcony of Studio 54.
:'''Firecracker''': I ain't got no idea who that is.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well... Hey, why the hairless pussy?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[gives Soldier Boy a disgusted look]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean, what's the point of going down there if you're not gonna get a fat face full of fur? Is that how Homelander likes you? Like a baby?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' More like a mother.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But you two have fuckеd, right?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[shakes her head]'' Mm-mm.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Damn. I gotta admit, I was kinda just doing this as petty revenge against the freak.
:'''Firecracker''': That's terrible. Who would do such a thing? And you shouldn't say that about your son.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Ah, he thinks he's better than me.
:'''Firecracker''': He doesn't.
:'''Soldier Boy''': How do you know?
:'''Firecracker''': I don't know much, but I can read people. And the way he looks at you? Shoot. I ain't never seen him look at nobody like that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Uh, that's not exactly a compliment, doll. He is the strangest mοthеrfuckеr I've ever known, and I've had a threesome with Gary Busey.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ryan and Homelander meet up at the now-abandoned VoughtLand building]''
:'''Ryan''': Do you remember when you took me here? Pretended to care about me?
:'''Homelander''': I ''do'' care about you, son. I love you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause]'' I need to ask you–
:'''Homelander''': For my forgiveness? You already have it.
:'''Ryan''': What?
:'''Homelander''': Okay, let me finish. I put too much pressure on you to fill my boots. And–And I realize now that, uh... Well, that–that was impossible. But I do have some pretty exciting news. I am going to live forever now. I'll realize my own legacy. And you... ''[scoffs]'' you're off the hook. You can do whatever–
:'''Ryan''': Did you do it? Did you rapе my mom?
:'''Homelander''': What?! Of course not. Who told you–Did William Butcher tell you that? Your mother and I, we had an affair. A consensual affair between two adults.
:'''Ryan''': Your heart's racing.
:'''Homelander''': Well, yeah, because I'm shocked. And–And frankly, my heart's breaking a little bit that you could think I would do something like that.
:''[Ryan lasers Homelander, leaving a visible wound near his chest]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan... Ryan, stop!
:''[Ryan lunges at Homelander and shoves him against the wall. Homelander ducks below Ryan's fist to avoid getting punched by him.]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan! I don't know where this is coming from, because your mother… ''She'' came on to ''me.''
:''[Ryan punches Homelander twice and tries to laser him again. Homelander quickly dodges him again.]''
:'''Homelander''': ''Ryan!'' Son... ''[moves away to avoid another punch]'' Ryan! Ryan, buddy... Look what came out of it: My son! A blessing! ''[Ryan attacks him again]'' Hey, hey! Stop!
:''[Ryan readies another laser, which gets redirected when Homelander grabs his face. He punches Homelander in the face again, but Homelander gets the upper hand and slams Ryan several times into a box. Homelander wipes blood away from his nose as Ryan whimpers in pain.]''
:'''Homelander''': Oh, Ryan... Dammit. Look at what you made me do. ''[pause; kneels down to restrain Ryan]'' Shh... Shh, shh, shh. Hey... It's okay. My sweet, sweet boy.
:''[Homelander proceeds to punch Ryan repeatedly in the face until he is beaten nearly to death]''

==''&quot;King of Hell&quot;'' [5.04]==
:'''Homelander''': I need you for something.
:'''Firecracker''': You do?
:'''Homelander''': I have received the most wonderful message. I was visited... by an angel. And she foretold my destiny.
:'''Firecracker''': Wow. Well, praise be. And what is it?
:'''Homelander''': God.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, that is wonderful. There is no higher calling than servin' the Lord.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. Not serving the Lord. Being the Lord. I am the Messiah. I'm the savior of the world.
:'''Firecracker''': The... Messiah?
:'''Homelander''': Yes.
:''[Firecracker smiles despite her being clearly disturbed by Homelander's delusions]''
:'''Firecracker''': Um... Congrats.
:'''Homelander''': Thank you. ''[pause; Firecracker giggles nervously]'' I always knew I was special. I knew it. I suffered. I suffered so many hardships, and I... I couldn't understand why, but you... You... You always saw it, didn't you? You knew all along I was special. That is why I have chosen you to spread the word of my coming.
:'''Firecracker''': How?
:'''Homelander''': Well, we control the most powerful media apparatus on Earth. Jesus would kill for our marketing. What do you say?
:'''Firecracker''': ...Well, you know I would do anything for you, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys are hiking through the woods near Fort Harmony]''
:'''Kimiko''': It's weird. No birds or animals. It's like…
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. ''[to Mother's Milk]'' Had to park on the other side of the state, didn't ya?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Well, if the hike's too hard, why don't you try tying your boots, mοthеrfuckеr.
:''[Hughie is shocked to see a heavily decomposed corpse]''
:'''Hughie''': Oh, fuck that.
:'''Butcher''': Eh. Not really my type, son.
:'''Hughie''': Hey, how about showing a little respect?
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, Hughie's right, Butcher. You should take her out to dinner first. ''[chuckles; sighs]'' Let's see here. Based on the decomp, these bodies have been here for a while.
:'''Frenchie''': Something ripped them apart. Whatever killed those Boy Scouts might still stalk these woods.
:'''Butcher''': Let's get a move on, then. Didn't come out here to get bummed by Bigfoot.
:''[...]''
:'''Butcher''': Any sign of Super Cunt?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Could already be inside.
:'''Butcher''': Well, let's find out.
:'''Kimiko''': ''[to Hughie]'' What's wrong?
:'''Hughie''': Annie.
:'''Kimiko''': She'll come back.
:'''Hughie''': No. I almost died, but she made it all about her and she took off. I mean, last year, I got bad-touched by a shape-shifter, and she still found a way to make it about her. She can be such a fucking bitch. ''[pause; sees Kimiko looking at him in shock]'' Uh... Jesus. Sorry, I–I didn't mean for that to come out so harsh.
:''[The Boys see an entire field littered with animal carcasses]''
:'''Butcher''': ''Fuckin' hell.''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck happened here?
:'''Frenchie''': Our V'd-up beast enjoyed an amuse-bouche, perhaps?
:'''Butcher''': Well, explains why we didn't hear no animals.
:'''Kimiko''': I said that ten minutes ago.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys discover more decomposed corpses as they make their way downstairs to the lab inside Fort Harmony]''
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. They've been here a minute, haven't they?
:'''Frenchie''': Decades. Hunters... ''[pause; notices the knives embedded in the corpses]'' Look at their knives. These men, they killed each other. What if there is a monster here, but it's us?
:'''Butcher''': What the fuck are you on about, Frenchie?
:'''Frenchie''': [[w:Toxoplasma gondii|Toxoplasmosis]]. It's a parasite in cat shit. It can infect humans. Makes them react with explosive anger.
:'''Hughie''': You think we ate cat shit?
:'''Frenchie''': Ate? No... If the V1 spilled into the groundwater, it could mutate the plants. Their spores fill us with rage, we murder each other, and ''voilà''. We're plant food for these vines.
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so like [[w:The Last of Us (video game)|''The Last of Us'']]?
:'''Frenchie''': No, that is just [[w:The Walking Dead (comic book)|''The Walking Dead'']] with mushrooms. The dead campers, the animals, these hunters... Surely, you all see how strangely you've been acting.
:'''Kimiko''': Us? I've seen you blow cоcaіnе up your dіckhole.
:'''Frenchie''': Wait... You have a point. The copious amount of drug I've taken for decades has surely altered my brain chemistry. That's why I'm not affected. 
:'''Kimiko''': Guess being a junkie was good for something after all.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Romeo and fuckin' Juliet. You two survive this war, I give you six months tops.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy search the ground floor of Fort Harmony while the Boys are in the basement below looking for the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sniffs]'' Smells like deer piss. The last time I was here, I was fresh off the front lines, still picking Nazi brains out of my hair. And only the best of the best got selected for Dr. Vought's trials.
:'''Homelander''': Hmmph.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Not soft little hog-chompers.
:'''Homelander''': Of course. No, I forgot how tough you were.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hey, I'm not the weirdo who doesn't fuck. I mean, your cock's as useless as your cape. What's the point of being famous if you're not getting your dіck wet?
:'''Homelander''': Oh, my dіck was sopping wet when I pulled it out of Stormfront and wiped it on her fucking chin!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; looks down at the decomposed corpses]'' Ooh, look. More uggos. 
:'''Homelander''': Friends of yours?
:''[They unknowingly set off the motion detector that the Boys set up near the stairs]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Oh, shit. They're right above us.
:'''Butcher''': We best get the fuck outta here. Come on.
:'''Hughie''': Hey. Hey, what about the V1?
:'''Mother's Milk''': If Bombsight has the V1, then it saves us from having to torch it.
:'''Hughie''': What are you talking about? Who's &quot;us&quot;?
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' What? You think the world needs more immortal cunts, do ya?
:'''Hughie''': We need it to save Annie and Kimiko! You've been planning this this whole time, haven't you?!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh. Homelander will hear us.
:'''Hughie''': ''[to Mother's Milk]'' And you, you've just been going along with it again.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We can't take the risk, Hughie. And if she has to be collateral damage so that Homelander dies and my daughter lives, we ain't got no fucking choice!
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, easy for you to say. It won't fucking kill you!
:'''Butcher''': Well, at least he knows when to keep his gob shut and do as he's fuckin' told!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Excuse me?
:'''Frenchie''': No, no, no. We don't have time for this. We need to find a way out now.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Wanna know a little secret, Butcher? I ''cheered'' when I found out that you were dying, 'cause at least we'd finally be done with your miserable ass.
:'''Hughie''': You know, I used to say to these guys, &quot;Don't give up on Butcher. There's good in him fighting to get out.&quot; I was wrong. If there was ''anything'' human in there, it's dead. Underneath that chestful of octo-cocks, you are just a fucking monster.
:'''Butcher''': Well, maybe I like it better that way.
:'''Hughie''': That parasite's not just in you. It ''is'' you. ''You're'' the cancer!
:'''Frenchie''': ''Lower your voices.''
:'''Hughie''': You are just as bad as Homelander, maybe worse. And I'm not gonna let you drag us all down with you.
:'''Butcher''': And whatcha gonna do about it?
:'''Hughie''': I'll fucking kill you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': ''[chuckles]'' Tough guy, my ass.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What?
:'''Homelander''': You, your whole bit. This whole &quot;guts and glory&quot; thing. What a fucking joke. I read your classified file. Your brother won a Silver Star for bravery at [[w:Battle of Anzio|Anzio]], and that's what made you beg your father to buy you a spot in Dr. Vought's trials. Because it killed you to see your brother dripping in all that glory, making you look all the more feeble in comparison.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't know shit about me.
:'''Homelander''': Really? I know that when they tried to inject you with the V, you were so fucking petrified that they had to strap you to the table. And you pissed yourself, crying for your mommy like the whiny, spoiled little rich boy that you are. They gave you the world, and you? You deserve ''nothing.''
:''[Soldier Boy stands by as Homelander walks into a small chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Oh, Christ. What's this shithole now?
:''[Soldier Boy shuts the door while Homelander isn't looking and turns the wheel to lock him inside the chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': What are you doing?!
:''[Soldier Boy bends the wheel with his bare hands and tears it off the door]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, well done. I'll be out of here in 30 seconds!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. Maybe not.
:''[Soldier Boy pulls down a lever to open a radioactive valve. Homelander's face immediately starts blistering from the radiation.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': It's enriched uranium. They'd stick us Supes in there to see if we could survive an atomic bomb. Now, for a normal joe, they'd be dead in minutes. But for you, it's a stomach flu. Good luck, though, getting out of a Supe-proof cell while you're bleeding out of your ass.
:''[Homelander fails to kill Soldier Boy by lasering him. He punches the glass as Soldier Boy walks off.]''
:'''Homelander''': Where are you going?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'm gonna go destroy any V1 that I find, you Triple Crown cock jockey.
:'''Homelander''': Why?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't get it, do you? How much I can't fucking stand you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Homelander trapped inside the uranium chamber]''
:'''Butcher''': ''[laughs]'' Oh, if only the world could see you now. Not so fuckin' super, are ya? You, uh... ''[points at Homelander's face]'' You got a bit of... ''[pause; Homelander coughs]'' Did your dad put you in timeout? Ooh… That's gotta sting, knowin' he'd rather spend eternity all alone than with the likes of you. What's the matter? Cunt got your tongue? Will wonders ever cease? ''[chuckles; lights cigarette]'' Tell me something. If you do get the juice in you, you think that makes you a god, don't ya? Seems like I know you pretty well after all. Which is why I know that even if you had a billion twats garglin' your bollocks and singin' &quot;Hosanna&quot;, you still wouldn't be happy. 'Cause deep down, you're just a weak, thin-skinned, needy little boy. You beat the shit outta your own son. Don't get weaker than that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs weakly while groaning in pain]'' Ryan is alive… because he's strong. 'Cause he's my son. The son of God.
:'''Butcher''': You ain't no god. How's about I go fetch the virus, and then we'll watch you shit your fuckin' spine out?
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You don't have it, do you? The virus.
:'''Butcher''': …Don't I?
:'''Homelander''': No, you don't. You would have used it by now. ''[coughs; laughs hysterically]'' You have no way to stop me, do you? Oh, William. You have no idea what you're up against. You can't intervene. I ''will'' get the V1, and when I do, I'm gonna flay you alive. You, Starlight–All the nonbelievers. You're all gonna ''fuckin' drown'' in your own blood.
:'''Butcher''': I promise you, before I die... I'll fuckin' have you. ''[walks away]''
:'''Homelander''': YOU'RE ALL FUCKING PASTE! I can take what's mine, and that makes this WHOLE FUCKING SHITBALL ''MY BIRTHRIGHT! '''MY DESTINY!'''''

==''&quot;One-Shots&quot;'' [5.05]==
:'''Firecracker''': Next up is a $500 million ad blitz with OOH, e-blasts, print and digital. Ain’t nobody won’t know about the Democratic Church of America… and its chosen prophet.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Prophets are servants.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course, sir. Great point. We’re just trying to ease people into it.
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no. We need to prepare America for my ascension. We must be honest. We must be direct. I like “savior.” Or–Or…
:'''Oh Father''': Lord. Yes, I couldn’t agree more, sir. Religion is not about being meek. We should dominate the seven mountains of society, bring the Kingdom of Heaven to Earth! Amen!
:'''Homelander''': Amen.
:'''Firecracker''': Amen! I love all that!
:'''The Deep''': So fucking dope.
:'''Oh Father''': Easter is just around the corner. How perfect would it be for your second coming to come on the day of Jesus' resurrection?
:'''Homelander''': Mmm… Second coming? Let's be clear: I am not the son of God.
:'''Oh Father''': Well, of course. Many people believe that Jesus is both God incarnate and the son.
:'''Homelander''': Well, that's just confusing. I don't want my church getting involved in all... that.
:'''Firecracker''': Exactly. Besides, if we pull up our timeline, you won't have… ''[picks up a bag with a large book inside]'' this.
:''[Firecracker kneels in front of Homelander, who accepts the book. He takes it out of the bag and sees &quot;The Homelander Bible&quot; with himself embossed on the cover.]''
:'''Oh Father''': We're gonna drag our feet because of a book?
:'''Firecracker''': Not a book. ''The'' book. The Homelander Bible.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause; lifts the book with his hands]'' Heavy.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[quietly]'' What the fuck?
:'''Firecracker''': It's got the Old Testament, the New Testament, and the brand new American Testament, written by A.I. trained on the works of Pat Robertson. See, we need to pass the torch, sir. From Jesus to you. Sir, we don't get more than one chance at a first impression. Are we really gonna rush something this important? We ain't [w:Arby's|Arby's]], after all.
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Firecracker''': We're the [[w:The Cheesecake Factory|Cheesecake Factory]].
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs deeply]'' Okay. We'll do it your way.
:'''Firecracker''': Thank you.
:'''Sister Sage''': You do realize this kind of sudden religious upheaval is likely to generate widespread civil unrest?
:'''Firecracker''': Local law should be able to handle the suburbs, but we could use extra hands in major metros.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, let's recall all Supes stationed overseas. American heroes should be protecting America, not Who-Gives-A-Fuckistan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Firecracker''': We ain't doin' that again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[chuckles]'' That's what you said the last six times.
:'''Firecracker''': No, I really mean it this time.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You seem a little out of it. Did you nut? 'Cause usually, you nut.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' Were you baptized?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah, in front of half of Chestnut Hill. Governor Sproul did the honors. My family kept up appearances, of course. Then, we never set foot in church again.
:'''Firecracker''': I had lunch today with the reverend who baptized me. He's been gettin' heat to switch over to our church. You think Homelander might be open to going easy on him? Just... give him a little more time? I wouldn't ask if it was just anybody, but that man practically raised me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So you didn't nut. You know, this whole Homelander as God shit, it's... it's fucking ridiculous.
:'''Firecracker''': Really? You think so?
:'''Soldier Boy''': If he's the second coming, then what does that make me? Joseph? I mean, talk about the biggest cuck in history. Man trades his best cow to bag some hot-ass virgin, and then God comes and squirts his baby gravy up her meat wallet. Fuck that.
:'''Firecracker''': I guess I've been struggling with where to place Homelander in my heart in relation to Jesus and the Lord.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course I worship Homelander. I mean, he's always been a god to me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Look, I'll tell you this. If there is a God... sure as hell didn't come out of my balls. I gotta go.
:'''Firecracker''': Where you off to?
:'''Soldier Boy''': L.A… ''[snickers]'' I fucking hate L.A.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker is filming her new episode of TruthBomb and starts reading her opening monologue from a teleprompter]''
:'''Firecracker''': Welcome to ''Truthbomb''. Our top story tonight's a personal one. It's the story of my hometown church, Holy Baptist of Daytona. It was the church I grew up in. Sang my hymns from the pews there every Sunday. But that church... That church…
:''[The teleprompter stops scrolling]''
:'''Firecracker''': ''[beat]'' That church... has become a hotbed of Starlighter infestation. And my old pastor, Reverend Greg Dupree, has been infected by Starlight's seditious propaganda. Now... I never told a soul this, but when I was a little girl, the reverend regularly had me over for supper. Alone. ''[pause; chuckles]'' No. Nothing ever happened to me, but... ''[sighs]'' I heard stories about his &quot;Fish Fry Fridays.&quot; And if that ain't code for child groomin', I don't know what is. How much longer are we gonna let these institutional pedo churches diddle our babies? Americans deserve better. They deserve... Homelander. They deserve the Democratic Church of America. ''[starts crying]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Would you like some knee pads?
:'''The Deep''': Sorry, what?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're looking at me like you wanna suck my hog. So I'm asking you if you would like some knee pads.
:'''Homelander''': Go easy on the little guy. He brought me Stan Edgar.
:'''The Deep''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Homelander''': You may leave.
:''[Soldier Boy stays behind with Homelander in the conference room as the rest of The Seven leave]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What crawled up your shithole?
:'''Homelander''': No idea what you mean.
:'''Soldier Boy''': When you're pissy, you tend to make everybody else's lives pissy too. Stan Edgar still stonewalling you?
:'''Homelander''': I've talked to him three times now. Says he has no idea where the V1 is. Heart rate steady as a rock. I'm starting to believe him.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That slippery fuck used to fetch my cоcaіnе. ''[pause]'' You know what? I have an idea. Why don't I take a crack at him? ''[Homelander stares at him]'' What, you don't trust me?
:'''Homelander''': Well, you did lock me in a room with nuclear material and tried to stop me getting the V1, so I'm sure you can understand my hesitance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You could've killed me at Fort Harmony, but you didn't. Maybe I feel like I owe you.
:'''Homelander''': Or maybe you're lying.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. ''[inhales deeply]'' Give me an hour. I'll meet you at Edgar's cell.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hughie''': If you and M.M. still think–
:'''Butcher''': Oh, for fuck's sakes, Hughie. Knock it off with this V1 shite! You're doin' me fuckin' head in! ''[sees his dog Terror eating out of the trash]'' Oi, Terror. Cut it out. Come on. ''[to Hughie]'' Now, listen. If we do find that stuff, we're not makin' any fuckin' vaccines out of it, alright? We're not the department of fuckin' health. We burn that shit before Homelander gets his paws on it, and that's that.
:'''Hughie''': Well, if you wanna kill yourself, knock yourself out, but why do you have to decide for the rest of us?
:'''Butcher''': Oh, 'cause I'm fuckin' right! 'Cause I've always been right! I've been tellin' you lot from the fuckin' start the sky is fallin', and guess what? The sky fuckin' fell.
:'''Hughie''': Well, you kinda helped bring it down.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, don't give me that bollocks. Listen, Homelander thinks he's a fuckin' god. Once he becomes immortal, he's gonna start killin' like one, and we are talkin' millions of people. Now, are you tellin' me you're honestly happy to risk all of that for a life on the run with your girl, knowin' that you could've stopped it? You can live with that, can ya?
:'''Hughie''': What if it was Becca? You'd just let her die?
:'''Butcher''': …I ''did'' let her die.
:'''Hughie''': Look… I know that Homelander comes first. I really do. All I'm asking is that we try. Annie and Kimiko deserve that much.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mister Marathon and Malchemical try to convince Soldier Boy to kill Homelander while he is unconscious]''
:'''Mister Marathon''': Hey, man, we don't have a problem with you. Honest, ''[stutters]'' but–but fuck this fucking guy. You know, he fuckеd my life. Look, if you help us get rid of him, then we all win, and you–you can have The Seven. And I don't even, like, really care if you bring me back or whatever.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need to kill him to get The Seven.
:'''Mister Marathon''': No. Yeah, of course not, but what about all that creepy shit he's doing with that church? I mean, they're rounding up everybody cool. All the hοοkers, the drug dealers.
:'''Malchemical''': They wanna ban pοrn. I mean, they wanna ban fucking abortions!
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay, well, banning abortion would be a big problem for me personally.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Exactly, for all of us. So, if we kill him, we can stop worrying about being cops or gods or asexual weirdos. You know, we can go back to fucking and–and being fucking awesome!
:'''Malchemical''': Look, we know you've got that fucked-up chest blast thing. I mean, I was at Herogasm. I saw it.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Just finish him now. Take away his powers, so we can curb stomp him while we have the chance. 
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' He is a fucking asexual weirdo.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Malchemical''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But as much as it pains me to say this, he's ''my'' fucking asexual weirdo. Nobody fucks my son but me.
:'''Mister Marathon''': What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …That came out wrong.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker sees Homelander sitting on the couch in the Seven common room]''
:'''Firecracker''': Homelander… How was L.A.? Did you catch tonight's ''Truthbomb?''
:'''Homelander''': I did indeed. And it was a real barn-burner. Well done.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[smiles]'' Thank you, sir. That means the world.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' How's sеx with my father? ''[Firecracker's smile disappears]'' Is he good at it? Are you thinking about me when you're making love to him?
:'''Firecracker''': I never meant to cross a line or offend you in...
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Don't fret, little one. I don't care about the sеx, really. But I ''do'' care about your little chats after sеx.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, whatever Soldier Boy told you, I can assure you that I...
:'''Homelander''': You mean your inner turmoil when it comes to me and, uh, Jesus? Are you thinking of Jesus when you're praising me?
:'''Firecracker''': No, you are my one and only savior.
:'''Homelander''': You say that, but your jagged little heart is whirring like a hummingbird. ''[sighs; gets up from the couch]'' You're supposed to worship me, love me and me alone.
:'''Firecracker''': I do.
:'''Homelander''': I believed in you. Turns out, you don't believe in me. ''[pause]'' I need you to collect your things and leave.
:'''Firecracker''': But I ''do'' believe in you. I love you! I am the only one here who ever has! I gave you ''everything!'' I gave you my soul! Everybody else here, they're just... They're just scared of you. Or they want something from you, but I have always loved you for you. Just the strongest, smartest, best man on Earth.
:'''Homelander''': ''[scoffs]'' Man?
:'''Firecracker''': No, no, no, no, no. A god. No. No, ''the'' God. My Lord, that look you used to get when you'd suckle me? I felt like Mother Mary herself. I felt blessed to nourish someone as important as you. ''[pause; Homelander sighs]'' But nothing I ever did was good enough, was it? You cast me out into the cold, which was so much worse than never feeling your warmth in the first place. So all I have been tryin' to do is to get you to see me the way that you used to. Hell, only reason I was with Soldier Boy was that your reflected light is better than no light at all. Please, sir. I love you. We all need love, don't we? Even God.
:''[Homelander reaches his hand out to touch Firecracker's cheek, then kills her by impaling her head on the left wing of an eagle statue]''

===''&quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;'' [5.06]===
:''[Hughie and Annie are laying down on the hood of his car looking at clouds together]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so that one?
:'''Annie''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Hughie''': It’s like a rabbit, but it’s got way too many feet.
:'''Annie''': Really? I see a frog eating a dick. This is definitely in my top five.
:'''Hughie''': Top five what?
:'''Annie''': Things to do with you.
:'''Hughie''':  You’re saying that like… this is the last time we’re gonna get to do this. Hey, listen to me. The guys are gonna find Bombsight, they’ll get the V1. You’re not dying. We will have plenty of time to look for filthy shapes in the clouds.
:'''Annie''': God, I don’t know where it comes from. This… unshakeable hope.
:'''Hughie''': Whenever I’d get upset as a kid, which was a lot… my dad would always say, “You know, son, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react.” And that was infuriating. But then, I spent a year in an internment camp, and I had no control over anything. I’d just lay there at night, just… so fucking angry, hearing my dad’s voice in my head… but then I finally understood what he meant. ‘Cause the only thing I had left was… hope. And it is ''really'' fucking hard to hang on to, but I… I’m trying.
:'''Annie''': I think… you might be low-key the strongest person I know.
:'''Hughie''': I’d prefer high-key… ''[Annie chuckles]'' but thank you.
:'''Annie''': ''[beat; points at the sky]'' Look, it’s–it’s Big Bird eating a dick.
:'''Hughie''': You see an unsettling amount of dicks up there, I’m just saying.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy look around Bombsight's empty house to find the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': You sure this is the right address?
:'''Homelander''': I'm sure.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, there's no sign of Bombsight... or fucking anyone. Maybe Crime Analytics got a bad tip.
:''[Homelander sees a laptop on the table. When he opens it up, a video of him and Stormfront having sex starts playing. He notices Soldier Boy watching along with him and closes the laptop.]'' 
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck was that?
:'''Homelander''': I can explain.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That was Clara. You told me she killed herself.
:'''Homelander''': She did, after Ryan did ''that'' to her. It's his fault.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So then what? You locked her in your apartment like some kind of amputee fuck doll...
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ...and filmed her for kicks?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no! It wasn't like that! I did... I did everything I could to keep her alive, to–to make her happy. ''[pause; Soldier Boy punches him]'' Just listen to me, okay?! It wasn't all like... that. I couldn't let her go. I didn't know how... because I loved her. And so did you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're goddamn right I loved her.
:'''Homelander''': She wouldn't want us fighting over her.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Don't fucking tell me what she would want! You knew her for five minutes; I was with her for decades! 
:'''Homelander''': Hold–Hold on. This–This is a setup. Someone's trying to separate us. This has been plan... Fucking Sage. It's Sage. You see? She's trying to screw with us. ''[Soldier Boy turns around to leave]'' Oh, come on! I can't find the V1 without you!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; turns back around]'' Good. You don't deserve to live forever.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher tries to call Bombsight using one of his old phone numbers, but gets a fax machine instead]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': That a fuckin’ fax machine?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, it’s the last of the numbers she had for him. ''[to Golden Geisha]'' Oi. Twenty-three fuckin' numbers you had for Bombsight, and they’re all fuckin' shite?
:'''Golden Geisha''': Do you know how to delete them? I was telling you the truth. I have no idea where Bombsight is, or how to reach him. So just let me go.
:'''Butcher''': Kimiko, keep an eye on her.
:''[Frenchie joins Butcher and M.M. on their way back to their hideout]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck do we do now?
:'''Butcher''': Fetch us some pliers and put the screws to her. She knows more than she’s lettin’ on.
:'''Frenchie''': Or she doesn’t. I’m sorry, but she’s not that good of an actress.
:''[M.M. and Frenchie draw their weapons when they see Sister Sage inside]''
:'''Sister Sage''': He’s right. ''[sarcastically]'' Ooh, I know. The villain switching sides in the final hour. What a twist, a shock that never happens. But unclench those assholes, fellas. I’m here to help. I’m a free agent now. I came alone. You can shoot me in the heart whenever you like.
:'''Butcher''': That’s a good idea. ''[takes out and cocks his gun]''
:'''Sister Sage''': That would go against our mutual interest.
:'''Butcher''': Which is?
:'''Sister Sage''': Stopping a petulant, laser-eyed narcissist from also becoming immortal. I want him dead as much as you do.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You spent the last couple of years building Homelander up, and now you wanna tear him down? Why the fuck should we trust you?
:'''Sister Sage''': You can’t trust me. Honestly, you shouldn’t, but you will.
:'''Frenchie''': And why would we do that?
:'''Sister Sage''': I know Campbell and Starlight are headed to plant your little virus. You can trace anyone, if you know what to look for. And you baboons, you leave a trail of banana peels wherever you go. I could have stopped you, I could have killed you... but I didn’t.
:'''Butcher''': That virus is gonna wipe out the fuckin’ lot of ya. And you don’t strike me as the suicide type.
:'''Sister Sage''': I will be in my nice, quiet bunker, reading [[w:Ludwig Wittgenstein|Wittgenstein]] in peace. That is, unless that bleached blonde baby gets his hands on V1 and survives. You must have realized by now Granny out there has no clue how to contact Bombsight, but I do. And I can get him here. So... let me help.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': I wanted to say... I'm very sorry about this. I watched every episode of ''Undercover Geisha'' when I was a kid. I loved it, even the parts that were ridiculous racist stereotypes. It meant so much to see someone who looked like me on TV. ''[brief pause]'' We watched with Japanese subtitles. It's how I learned English.
:'''Golden Geisha''': If you're such a big fan, let me go.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Désolé'', but we cannot. Not until we get the V1 that Bombsight possesses.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Wait, that's what you're after? V1? ''[laughs]''
:'''Kimiko''': What–What's so funny?
:'''Golden Geisha''': I'll tell Bombsight to just give it to you. I sure as hell don't want it.
:'''Kimiko''': ...He stole the V1 for you, so you two could be together forever. ''[pause]'' But you didn't take it.
:'''Golden Geisha''': ''[shakes her head]'' I said no... which is why he left. I guess, for him, watching me get old was too painful.
:'''Frenchie''': I'm sorry, I do not understand. Why won't you take it?
:'''Golden Geisha''': To live forever? It'd be torture. ''[scoffs]'' You're both so young. You wouldn't understand.
:'''Kimiko''': Maybe I would.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Summer is only beautiful when you know winter is coming.
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Kimiko]'' Is this how you feel?
:'''Kimiko''': ''[nods]'' Annie and I talked about it. We'd have to... ''[signing]'' We'd have to watch you and Hughie waste away. Neither of us wants to die, but... we don't wanna be vampires either. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Legend leads Homelander inside the Boys' hideout, which is deserted]''
:'''The Legend''': Okay, um... 
:'''Homelander''': No one here.
:'''The Legend''': I grant you, it–it looks like that, yeah. But this–this is their hideout, so I'm sure there's plenty of clues all over here. ''[picks up a receipt]'' Here you go. ''[Homelander sighs]'' Oh, no. Well, this is nothing. But, you know, they have to have left something behind, you know?
:'''Homelander''': ''[looks at the receipt; chuckles]'' Hmmph. It's not nothing.
:'''The Legend''': It's a Taco Bell receipt. 
:'''Homelander''': No, ''this is Sage!'' Taunting me! 
:'''The Legend''': Okay.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs frustratingly; sits on bed]'' This makes no sense. This makes no sense. This makes no sense! ''[chuckles]'' You said I would get the V1. You said I'd be a god. Did I do something wrong? Did I fail you? I did everything you asked me to. I gave my boy up. Please, don't leave me here to just rot. Don't just let me become ''nothing'' like ''him.'' Please…
:'''The Legend''': I gotta assume… The only reason you're saying all this stuff is, you're... You're not gonna let me walk out of here alive, are you? Yeah? Okay. Yeah. ''[pause]'' Alright, look, kid. I've been around a long time and I… This is just how it goes. You know all those old Supes at the home? Every one of them had their moments in the sun and they all thought it was gonna go on forever. And every one of them got shoved out in the end. They all got shoved out. All of them. And I know what I'm talking about; I did the shoving. I mean, look at Goldie. One minute, she's on the set of ''Undercover Geisha'', getting finger-popped by Lorenzo Lamas. The next, she's shilling for VoughtAlert necklaces and Activia poop yogurt.
:'''Homelander''': Geisha sells VoughtAlert necklaces?
:'''The Legend''': Guess you don't watch your own news channel. The point is, look, there comes a day… I got shoved out, too. Never saw it coming. Did not see that coming, and I fought it like hell. But in the end... bupkis. There is a natural order to things. And the more you fight the inevitable, the more the inevitable just… cunt-punts you. ''[pats Homelander's shoulder]'' Yep.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; gets up]'' You're not scared of me.
:'''The Legend''': No, I'm not scared of you. I… I feel for you, kid. I do. I mean, you're a fucking whackjob. But, you know, there's talent. So… No surprise there. ''[pause]'' So, there you go. Do what you gotta do.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' ...You can go.
:'''The Legend''': I–I can go?
:'''Homelander''': Leave. No words. Just go. Now. Go. ''Now.''
:'''The Legend''': Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
:''[After The Legend leaves the Boys' hideout, Homelander makes a call on his cell phone]''
:'''Operator''': How can I help you, sir? 
:'''Homelander''': I need the tracking coordinates for a VoughtAlert necklace.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Tough skin or not, I can still break your fucking neck!
:'''Bombsight''': Ben, stop. Please.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; lets Bombsight go]'' Goddammit.
:'''Bombsight''': ''[beat]'' I can't give it to you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goldie doesn't even wanna take it.
:'''Bombsight''': Then maybe someday, I'll find someone who will!
:'''Soldier Boy''': You were always gonna fuck it up with Goldie anyway. You could never hold down a girl! It was either a smack needle up your dick or— 
:'''Bombsight''': Having to stand next to you? You were everyone's favorite from the start, especially Clara. Everything they wanted us to be, everything they were working towards, they saw it in you. I fucking hated you for it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No. No, I wasn't everything Clara wanted. I didn't know how to be.
:'''Bombsight''': But you loved her. What wouldn't you give to have her back... forever?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …I really fuckin' hate you.
:'''Bombsight''': No shit.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But we don't have to kill each other. I can take away your immortality... and your powers. You won't have to live forever alone. Then, you and Goldie can spend whatever time you have left like you want.
:'''Bombsight''': Why would you do that for me?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd do it for the V1.
:''[Bombsight hands a case to Soldier Boy, who opens it to find a V1 syringe inside. The Boys hear an explosion from far away and run towards it. Cut to Bombsight looking at the wound near his shoulder.]''
:'''Bombsight''': This is the first time I've seen my blood in... I can't remember.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander finds Soldier Boy with the V1 syringe he received from Bombsight. The Boys and Sister Sage watch them from the nearby woods.]''
:'''Homelander''': Don't. I don't wanna fight you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks down at the syringe]'' You know, Clara used to say the craziest shit. That I was the strongest Supe alive, the ultimate expression of what we could be... but she was wrong. ''[pause]'' She hadn't met you yet.
:''[Soldier Boy offers the syringe to Homelander, who accepts it]''
:'''Butcher''': No.
:'''Sister Sage''': I don't understand. He wasn't supposed to... It's impossible.
:'''Homelander''': But you hate me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I love her more... and this is what she would want.
:''[Homelander lasers his left arm and injects the V1 into his wound. His eyes immediately start flickering and he kneels to the ground in pain. The Boys watch in horror as Homelander screams and shoots powerful lasers into the sky.]''
:'''Butcher''': '''''Run.'''''

===''&quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;'' [5.07]===
:''[A V1-empowered Homelander sits in President Calhoun's chair in the Oval Office. He hears a knock at the door]''
:'''Homelander''': Come in! ''[in a cheerful tone, as Ashley and Calhoun enter]'' Hello, you two. Isn't it a beautiful day?
:'''Calhoun''': ''[nervously]'' You're welcome to use this office as long as you need. 
:'''Homelander''': I know. Let's get right to it! While Oh Father is hard at work on my divine unveiling, I have a few action items I need you to handle.
:'''Ashley''': Of course. Anything, sir.
:'''Homelander''': The Democratic Church of America is to be the ''official'' national religion, based around the one true god: Me. 
:'''Calhoun''': Great idea.
:'''Homelander''': I want every boundary between church and state dissolved. I want troops sent into every sanctuary city that took in Starlighters. Issue an executive order banning abortion. Also, breastfeeding is now mandatory. Babies need their mothers, not fake milk. Actually, outlaw that, too.
:'''Ashley''': Sir? 
:'''Homelander''': ''[intensely] Ban nut milk.'' The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was making you think nuts were milk. ''[snickers after a short silence]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': Those are all, uh, fantastic ideas, sir, um... I'll run them by Congress– 
:'''Homelander''': No, disband it.
:'''Calhoun''': Sorry? 
:'''Homelander''': Disband Congress. It's better for freedom. 
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, I don't really have that authority. 
:'''Homelander''': ''[frowns]'' Ashley, do me a favor. Read Steven's mind. I want to know if he's a true believer. 
:'''Calhoun''': But of... course I am, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific! Then you have nothing to worry about. ''[gets up and steps over to Ashley]'' Do it. 
:''[He rips off her wig, and she gasps and covers her face in shame as &quot;Back Ashley&quot; is revealed]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': ''[revolted]'' What the fuck is that? 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': Don't look!
:'''Homelander''': Don't make me ask again. 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': ''[stammering in fear]'' Sir, I–I... Sir, I...
:'''Ashley''': ''[sighs; steels herself and turns back to Homelander]'' He's terrified of you, sir. He thinks you're just a tiny bit psychotic.
:'''Homelander''': Steven! ''[steps towards Calhoun, glaring intensely]'' Here I am. A living god. ''[rests his hands on Calhoun's shoulders]'' Right before your eyes. And still, your faith wavers? ''[beat; Calhoun is clearly too terrified to answer]'' It's okay. No, I'm not angry. ''[clasps his head gently]'' But I ''am'' disappointed.
:''[He crushes Calhoun's head into a pulp, then wipes the blood off his hands on a sofa. An utterly terrified Ashley stares at Calhoun's body as Homelander sits back down at the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie sees Kimiko suffering from radiation exposure inside a homemade uranium chamber while Butcher and Frenchie watch]''
:'''Hughie''': What the fuck is going on in here?
:'''Kimiko''': I'm okay.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' The second she's ready, we go the next dose, alright?
:'''Hughie''': &quot;Next dose?&quot; Are you kidding?! Look at her! What are you doing?
:'''Butcher''': Plan fuckin' B, my son. If at first you don't succeed, find another hole to fuck. See, Soldier Boy's flashy tіt blast got me thinkin', he–he weren't born with that power. The Ivans gave it to him through a consistent application of scientific methodology.
:'''Frenchie''': They threw an atom bomb worth of radiation at him.
:'''Butcher''': Right. So, usin' the research we nicked from 'em a few donkeys back, me and Frenchie are doin' the same thing to Kimiko. She gets Soldier Boy's power, she tіt-blasts Homelander, bees and fuckin' honey.
:'''Hughie''': So when we kept asking what you two were up to, and you kept saying, &quot;Mind your fuckin' business, cunt,&quot; it was this?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah.
:'''Hughie''': Butcher, this is... the most insane-ass shit I ever heard. In a few weeks, you're gonna somehow do what it took the Russians over a decade?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, 'cause unlike the Ivans, we got us a livin', breathin' supercomputer bunked down in student services.
:'''Hughie''': Sage? All she does is self-medicate and binge [[w:Love Island (American TV series)|''Love Island'']]. This could fucking kill Kimiko. Frenchie…
:'''Frenchie''': No. It's not my wish.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck Butcher. Who cares what he wants?
:''[Kimiko coughs and stumbles out of the uranium chamber]'' 
:'''Kimiko''': Not Butcher. ''[panting heavily]'' Me. It's my call.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Annie''': Oh Father's up to something big at Vought Studios, but we don't know what. Could be a trap.
:'''Frenchie''': Could be.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' You stay here with Kimiko and Sage. We'll bust into the studio, nab the holy twat, stomp on his bollocks till he gives us Homelander's next move. And then I'll do the cunt and we'll call it an honest day's work, yeah?
:'''Hughie''': No. Quit acting like we're going on a milk run. It's over. ''[voice breaking]'' We lost.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' [[w:Victoria Beckham|Posh Spice]] was easily the most shit member of [[w:Spice Girls|the squad]]. Could barely sing or dance. No discernible talent whatsoever. Wasn't even featured on [[w:Wannabe|&quot;Wannabe&quot;]], but did that stop her? No. You look at her now... still married with [[w:David Beckham|Becks]]. Fifteen engagement rings, 32 ''Vogue'' covers, inducted by Prince William into the Order of the bloody British Empire. Even I doubted her move into women's apparel, but her line is a staple at Paris fuckin' Fashion Week. You see, despite her obvious disadvantages–includin' a tragic inability to smile–she never gave up, and we ain't givin' up either.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shakes his head]'' Your fuckin' pep talks.
:'''Frenchie''': Terrible.
:'''Annie''': The worst.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, bollocks. That was a fuckin' knockout.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Alone and depressed, The Deep tosses an aluminum can into the sea. A hammerhead shark appears and [[w:Samuel L. Jackson|speaks to him]]]''
:'''Xander''': Yo! You gonna get that, bro?
:'''The Deep''': Xander! ''[chuckles]'' Hey, what you doing here? So good to see you, man.
:'''Xander''': We wouldn't want a little guppy to get caught in that can, my man. Come on in, grab it. ''[swims in circles]''
:'''The Deep''': I've had such a fucked day, man. You wouldn't believe it, bro.
:'''Xander''': Yeah. Get in the water, man.
:'''The Deep''': No. You're not... You're not listening to me–
:'''Xander''': ''[angrily]'' Ah, shut the fuck up! We know you were responsible for the pipeline genocide. Remember March 15th, motherfucker!
:'''The Deep''': No... No, wait, that–That wasn't me, man!
:'''Xander''': If you step one foot, one fucking stupid-ass simian toe in the water ''ANYWHERE''—an ocean, a stream, a fucking puddle—on God, son, you're dead! We're gonna ''KILL YOU!'' You understand, you dumb motherfucker?! Water is fucking off limits to you! ''YOU ARE '''DEAD''' TO US! [swimming away]'' Bitch-ass!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy sees Homelander standing over a scale model of a Homelander-themed amusement park]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': The fuck is all this?
:'''Homelander''': Hey. HomeLand. Next phase of the reboot. Showing the faithful my boundless love for them. ''[points at a monument of himself]'' That there? The Homelander Mount. We're saying that this is where the angel visited me, and I ascended to godhood.
:'''Soldier Boy''': …Right.
:'''Homelander''': You're gonna love this. ''[waves his hand over a rollercoaster]'' This area here? We're calling it: &quot;Soldier Boy! Father of God!&quot; All the fastest rides are gonna be there, and every night, there's gonna be a ticker tape parade, honoring you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' I'm gonna head down to Bogotá. Figure I'll snort and fuck my way through the banana republics.
:'''Homelander''': Uh... When are you coming back?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Probably not for… ever.
:'''Homelander''': What? Look, if you don't like the park, I mean, forget it. I don't–I don't care about any of it. You want hοοker and blow? I'll get you all the drugs and all the wrinkly old whοres in America.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No, you're not hearing me.
:'''Homelander''': No, you're not hearing ''me.'' I am where I am because you chose me. To help me. So, I want you to have whatever you want.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What I want is to get away.
:'''Homelander''': From what? ''[scoffs]'' Or from who?
:'''Soldier Boy''': This just ain't my bag, kid.
:'''Homelander''': I welded your shield back together, you never use it. I hired you a three-star Michelin chef, all you ever order is meatloaf and chili. I even had L.J. mock up a new super suit for you. 
:''[Homelander pulls out a poster of Soldier Boy wearing an American flag-patterned suit]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, God. See, that's what I'm talking about.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, God? What?!
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't want that. And another thing: I gave you the V1 because of Clara. Because that's what she would've wanted. This was never gonna be a &quot;playing catch on the front lawn&quot;, &quot;fixing up the old Impala&quot; bullshit. You're too weird.
:'''Homelander''': Stop fucking saying that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': And you're no god. No angel came to you. You had a wet dream about some chick with big, juicy tіts. If that makes you a god, then I'm a fucking god every night.
:'''Homelander''': '''I ''AM'' GOD!'''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' Would it help if I said, &quot;It's not you, it's me&quot;?
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs softly]'' If you wanna go, go.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sighs; pats Homelander on the back]'' Good luck, son.
:''[Homelander suddenly grabs Soldier Boy from behind and puts him in a chokehold until he passes out]''
:'''Homelander''': I love you.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mother's Milk''': Help me out here. In the movie, was Homelander God, the [[w:Second Coming|Second Coming]], or Jesus' brother? 'Cause the world-building in there was fuckеd.
:'''Annie''': Does it even matter? I mean, they will believe whatever he tells them. What is the fucking point of saving people if they don't wanna be saved? This is what they want.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[beat]'' Alright. So, back when my Gramps got killed by Soldier Boy, shit got rough. Neighborhood kids laughed, called me soft, shit like that. And then one day, I find this pigeon on the sidewalk, wing busted. He was in bad shape. So, I run inside, grab a shoebox and a first aid kit, and come to start nursin' it. I figure, if I can save just this one life, maybe it might somehow make up for... Anyway, those same fuckin' kids, they found out. And so now, it don't take a genius to go from Marvin Milk to Mother's Milk. &quot;Yo, Mother's Milk, you letting that sky rat suck on your tіttіеs or that dіck?&quot; They were relentless. Right up until the day when that little bird flew outta my house and right over their heads, good as new. And you know what, Annie? Here's the crazy thing: I loved my new name. 'Cause I loved helpin' people. I loved being kind, makin' my family proud. That name was a badge of honor for me. Now, last year, locked up in that detention center, something changed. My heart, it just got scarred over. Like the world had just broken it one too many times. And yeah, it got easier, just being cynical. Checking out. But I also hated myself a lot more. I went from being a mοthеrfuckеr with a heart to just being a mοthеrfuckеr. But you know what? Givin' a shit in a world where nobody gives a shit? It ain't soft. It's hard as hell… and that's the real me. ''[pause]'' And that's the real you, too.

===''&quot;Blood and Bone&quot;'' [5.08]===
:'''Homelander''': It's alright. I'm not here to hurt you.
:'''Ryan''': You mean like last time?
:'''Homelander''': Look at you. No harm done.
:'''Ryan''': How'd you find me?
:'''Homelander''': Crime Analytics caught wind of a young man flying outside Kolvereid. Tends to draw attention.
:'''Ryan''': I don't want your help.
:'''Homelander''': I know. You've made that very clear. But you're also the son of God, and you should not be sleeping in a barn. You can have a whole floor of the Tower. Do what you want with it, come and go as you please.
:'''Ryan''': I don't wanna be anywhere near you.
:'''Homelander''': Everything is different now. I've ascended. I'm immortal.
:'''Ryan''': Then, why do you give a shit about what happens to me?
:'''Homelander''': Because we're family. ''[Ryan scoffs]'' We have the same blood pumping through our veins.
:'''Ryan''': Yeah, well, you've got your shitty racist dad. So you don't need me.
:'''Homelander''': No, Soldier Boy doesn't matter. You and I, that's all that matters. I know you, because I ''am'' you. And you're me.
:'''Ryan''': Dad… Get fuckеd. I am nothing like you. You were already the most powerful person on Earth. And you were a lonely, miserable piece of fucking shit, throwing tantrums when you didn't get what you want. Why the fuck would more power make you any better? It's just going to make you an even more lonely, miserable piece of shit. Scaring people into calling you God doesn't make you God. And deep down, you know that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; tearfully sighs]'' It's okay. You don't know what's going on. It's okay… but you will.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[After M.M. kills Oh Father by blocking his mouth with a metal mouth gag, causing his head to explode and spill blood all around]''
:'''Hughie''': I really need a new job.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''The Deep''': It was all a test. Yes! The universe is rewarding me for my loyalty, just like [[w:Sean Connery|Sean Connery]] rewarded [[w:Kevin Costner|Costner]] at the end of ''[[w:Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves|Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves]]''!
:'''Hughie''': Sweet ''Jesus'', you're a moron.
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander gives his Easter address from the Oval Office and begins reading from a teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': My fellow Americans... Happy Easter. A day commemorating Jesus, who, as we all know, was tortured, stripped of his dignity and killed. And that's all well and good. But you're Americans. You deserve a God who doesn't die. A God who fights back. A God you can believe in. Well, today, I bring you good news. Recently, I was visited by an exquisite angel bearing the gift of revelation. As I bathed in her light, her heavenly lips spilled sweet truth into my ear, and I was awakened to my true purpose. Not just to be the world's greatest hero but to save all humanity. To be... the Second Coming. But in a way, really, I'm the First Coming. America... I am the Lord. Your savior. I am your God. And as such, I'm going to usher this world into a new, golden dawn. An age in which your God moves among you, seen and heard. Your prayers are truly answered when you visit homelander.church. And all I ask for in return… I simply ask that you open your hearts and put your faith in me. Those who accept my truth will be welcomed into a land of milk and honey. For I am your Fa…
:''[Homelander stares blankly at the teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': I am… ''[beat]'' But no matter what I do, some of you people will never accept me into your hearts. Never love me. Never believe in me. And to such heretics, I offer oblivion. And those who seek to destroy me, you will die the most horrible of deaths, as befits your wickedness. My reign will last forever, and when this world is cold and dead, I shall remain... eternal. God of the ashes.
:''[Butcher and Kimiko suddenly break into the Oval Office]''
:'''Butcher''': Evening, cunts. Daddy's home. 
:'''Homelander''': William. ''[pause]'' I was starting to think you weren't going to hold up your end of our deal.
:'''Butcher''': Scorched earth?
:'''Homelander''': A shame about the French one. How's your little science experiment going without him?
:'''Butcher''': Let's find out.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander is now at Butcher's mercy after losing his powers]''
:'''Butcher''': Shock and awe, my son. Blood and fuckin' bone.
:''[Homelander charges toward Butcher, who grabs Homelander's fist with his left hand and punches him three times with the other. Butcher grabs Homelander again and prepares to land another punch.]''
:'''Butcher''': This... is for Frenchie.
:''[Butcher punches Homelander in the face repeatedly, knocking him down to the floor and leaving him cowering in fear]''
:'''Homelander''': Stop! You owe me. All the times I could've killed you and I didn't, I let you live. I'll–I'll give you Vought. ''[Butcher picks up his crowbar]'' I'll give you Vought, alright? You can do whatever you want with it, okay? I'll–I'll... Becca. You want your wife back? I'll have a shape-shifter be her. ''[whimpers]'' Just tell me! I'll fucking suck your dіck! Please! I'll do anything! You want me to eat shit? I'll eat your fucking shit! I'll eat your fucking shit on live TV! ''[pause; Butcher knocks him down against the desk]'' Madelyn, you promised me. It's not real. ''[to Butcher]'' You can't fucking do this. ''You can't fucking do this! '''I am the Homelander!'''''
:'''Butcher''': No. Nah, you ain't nothing. And this... This is for my Becca.
:'''Homelander''': No, no...
:''[Butcher stabs Homelander in the head with the straight end of the crowbar. He lifts it up, breaking Homelander's skull open and spilling his brains all over the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie confronts Butcher at Vought Tower to stop him from releasing the Supe virus. Butcher is looking out the window when Hughie enters the main conference room.]''
:'''Butcher''': Traffic?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. Accident on the bridge. Should have taken the tunnel.
:'''Butcher''': ''[turns around]'' I thought you might try to stop me. But you shouldn't have come alone. You should've brought a fuckin' army.
:'''Hughie''': No. If you were gonna release the virus, you would've done it already.
:'''Butcher''': Unless... I'm waitin' for all the Supe cunts to clock in for the day shift. Not much point shootin' spunk into an empty fuckin' building, now is there?
:'''Hughie''': Okay, well, now I kinda wish I brought an army. Where's the virus, Butcher?
:'''Butcher''': I dumped it in the sprinkler tank. Frenchie's idea, God rest the mad bastard. ''[picks up remote controller]'' All I gotta do is pull this trigger, and it rains kill juice on all 99 floors. Shit will be worldwide within a couple of days.
:'''Hughie''': Why? I mean, we already won.
:'''Butcher''': Won? No, we just gave 'em a black eye. As long as there's Vought, there'll be Supes. And sooner or later, some cunt that's already out there becomes the next Homelander, and you fuckin' know it. No. We need to end the whole bloody notion of Supes, and we need to make it permanent. I mean, you can see it, right? This is it. This is the moment.
:'''Hughie''': You dragged me through fucking hell... for this. For now. To be your... canary. Or your Kessler. Or Lenny. But here's the thing: You don't need me for that. You never did. It's already in you. I can see it. You might have a broken fucking heart, but you have one. You are not a monster, Butcher. It just hurts to be human.
:'''Butcher''': I'm sorry, mate. Superheroes... are done.
:'''Hughie''': ''[pulls out gun]'' I can't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Petit Hughie and his gun. Takes some big bollocks to pull the trigger on a mate.
:'''Hughie''': ''[aims the gun at Butcher]'' I will if I have to.
:'''Butcher''': ''[chuckles]'' Nah. You ain't got the…
:''[Butcher takes the gun from Hughie, punches him and throws him across the room]''
:'''Butcher''': Stay down.
:''[Butcher sees Hughie staring at the remote and rushes to take it before Hughie does. Hughie quickly gets up and trades more blows with Butcher, spitting blood onto the floor after getting punched hard in the gut. Eventually, Butcher gains the upper hand and picks up the remote while Hughie lies helpless on the floor. Before he can pull the remote trigger, he has a hallucination of Lenny lying in Hughie's place. He gets shot in the abdomen by Hughie as he moves his finger away from the trigger. Realizing what he did, Hughie rushes to Butcher's side.]''
:'''Hughie''': I'm sorry. Um... I didn't wanna–I didn't wanna do that. Um... I'm–I'm gonna call an ambulance, okay?
:'''Butcher''': I wouldn't bother. It's alright, Hughie. I gave you no choice. I... I wasn't gonna stop. All the blood... and shite I put you through... and none of it made a blind bit of difference. You–You stayed yourself... no matter what I done. ''[coughs]''
:'''Hughie''': Hey.
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know what to do.
:'''Hughie''': You don't need to do anything.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat; Hughie holds his hand]'' You really are... the spittin' of Lenny.
:''[Butcher slowly loses his grip on Hughie as he dies]'' 
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': ''[last lines; to his and Annie's unborn daughter]'' Take care of your mom, Robin.
==External links==
{{The Boys}}
[[Category:The Boys (TV series) seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>dox3mll9uo3hj2td2h8xwphiuxqhero</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943894</id>
      <parentid>3943891</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:28:17Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Constantin1995</username>
        <id>3215997</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943894</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="89866" sha1="pxpulfq5ws1w5et0gexvftt3u56sqlq" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Season''' [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 1|1]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 2|2]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 3|3]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 4|4]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 5|5]]  [[The Boys (TV series)|Main]]
----
'''''[[w:The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]''''' is an American superhero television series developed by Eric Kripke for [[w:Amazon Prime Video|Amazon Prime Video]]. Based on the comic book of the same name by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson, it follows the eponymous team of vigilantes as they combat superpowered individuals who abuse their abilities.

==''&quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;'' [5.01]==
:''[Homelander meets with Sister Sage after the Flight 37 video gets leaked to the public by Annie]''
:'''Sister Sage''': We knew this would happen sooner or later. We've been ready. In the last 24 hours, we have flooded the zone with so much disinformation, people can't tell their clit from their collarbone. The share price is only down half a point. Besides that, damage is minimal.
:'''Homelander''': ''[points at open book]'' What's this?
:'''Sister Sage''': That is a Gutenberg Bible. Martin Shkreli sold it to me at discount.
:'''Homelander''': You're really on top of the world, huh? Peter Thiel, the Obamas calling you for advice. Everyone loves you. 
:'''Sister Sage''': You can't really think I care.
:'''Homelander''': Maybe you didn't used to.
:'''Sister Sage''': It's all for you. The higher the share price, the happier the billionaires. The more you get to do whatever the fuck you wanna do.
:'''Homelander''': Are you aware that NNC is calling me a murderer? Saying that maybe I even did something to my son?
:'''Sister Sage''': No. Everyone knows that Ryan is... ''[sighs]'' Sorry. That he is at boarding school. In Svalbard. ''[chuckling]'' That story's holding. We're good.
:'''Homelander''': And how–how about you, Sage? Are you… good?
:'''Sister Sage''': I'm fine.
:'''Homelander''': You're not distracted at all? After Thomas Godolkin dumped you? You're not numbing the heartache by stabbing your brain?
:'''Sister Sage''': No.
:'''Homelander''': Then, just tell me. How did Starlight get in the building? ''[beat; exhales]'' I WAS '''HUMILIATED!''' As if people don't hate me enough!
:'''Sister Sage''': Your numbers are north of 96.
:'''Homelander''': Anyone can smile for the pollsters, sure, but millions of them are still Starlighters in their hearts! Where it counts! Have you seen the memes? Have you seen the ''memes'' about me?! ''[brief pause]'' Posting them should be a crime.
:'''Sister Sage''': Yes, but we can't go... ''[notices Homelander glaring at her]'' Oh, you're serious. Uh, sir... ''[chuckles]'' Ongoing conflict is useful to us. It keeps people afraid…
:'''Homelander''': Shut up.
:'''Sister Sage''': …which is exactly what we–
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no, no! NO! You promised me Caesar.
:'''Sister Sage''': He was stabbed by his best friends.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, well, I can relate to that! But I need people to be ''devoted!'' To '''''me!'''''
:'''Sister Sage''': May I speak freely?
:'''Homelander''': Give it a shot.
:'''Sister Sage''': I told you, no matter how much power you amass, it will not make you happy.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You know what's gonna make me happy? I think I'll be happy when Starlight and William Butcher are corpses. I want it leaked that in three days, we are going to execute Hugh Campbell, Milk, and the... French one. That'll draw out Starlight and Butcher, and then I will take care of this once and for all.
:'''Sister Sage''': Consider it done, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, wow. Your skin is so oily, like hugging a McRib.
:'''Annie''': Wait, did you—Did you just... How?!
:'''Kimiko''': Speech therapy and fucking therapy therapy and so much fucking TikTok.
:'''Annie''': Well, you sure sound like you're on TikTok.
:'''Butcher''': Sixteen-hour flight and not a fucking peep.
:'''Kimiko''': 'Cause all you can say is &quot;Oi, oi, oi. Cunt, cunt, cunt&quot;.
:'''Butcher''': I liked her better with her mouth shut.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Annie''': Took you long enough. Slowing down in your old age?
:'''A-Train''': ''[laughs and hugs Annie]'' Fuck you, [[w:Killing of JonBenét Ramsey|JonBenét]].
:'''Kimiko''': You guys are friends?
:'''A-Train''': You talk?
:'''Kimiko''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Annie''': Reggie's been helping us out for a while.
:'''A-Train''': ''[takes drink from Annie]'' Thanks. Where is everybody? ''[pause]'' I heard about the Pittsburgh raid last month. Go Marie Moreau. How's her team doing?
:'''Annie''': Yeah, they're scoring a few wins, but not nearly enough.
:'''A-Train''': So, what's with the 911?
:'''Annie''': Hughie, M.M. and Frenchie are gonna be executed tomorrow, so we need your help to break them out.
:'''A-Train''': Of a Vought prison camp? You're fucking crazy.
:'''Annie''': Listen, you don't have to fight, okay? We just need you to run them to the extraction point. It's easy.
:'''A-Train''': Easy. Right. You know Homelander's gonna be waiting. I can't.
:'''Annie''': We know how to kill him, okay? But we need Frenchie to do it.
:'''A-Train''': Great. Well, good luck with that.
:'''Annie''': Hey, are you gonna keep running forever? I mean, if we're gonna really take him out, we need your help.
:'''A-Train''': So what, I'm just supposed to join this little fucking supergroup?
:'''Annie''': I mean, we are down one asshоlе, so… Yeah, maybe.
:'''A-Train''': ''[pause]'' No.
:'''Annie''': Why not?
:'''A-Train''': I said I can't.
:'''Annie''': I know you're scared…
:'''A-Train''': No, I'm not fucking scared! I got a family to protect. ''[Annie sighs]'' I can't.
:'''Annie''': I get it, I do. Me, too. ''[pause]'' Keep them safe.
:''[Annie and Kimiko watch A-Train run off]''
:'''Kimiko''': We shouldn't have let him go.
:'''Annie''': No. Homelander fuckеd him up. Fuckеd me up, too. We're gonna need an Exit Plan B.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk go over their escape plan]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so we hit the east gate.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Oui'', Petit Hughie, when the guards change shift.
:'''Hughie''': And we go at dawn.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We've been through this.
:'''Hughie''': I know. I just wanna go over it a few more times just so I can get it in my head.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hughie… ''[holds out moonshine jar]'' Take a fuckin' drink, will you?
:'''Hughie''': No, thanks.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shrugs; to Frenchie]'' ''Mon ami?''
:'''Frenchie''': You know I quit.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Leave it up to you to have your shit the tightest you've ever had it in a fuckin' internment camp.
:'''Frenchie''': Yeah, what about you? Have you been eating the fresh produce I smuggle in?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Moonshine's got corn in it. ''[takes a sip of moonshine]''
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Hughie]'' Hey… Don't worry. Annie will be fine. She's strong.
:'''Hughie''': ''[takes liquor bottle from Frenchie]'' Kimiko, too. 
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Y'all mοthеrfuckеrs are trippin'. Y'all don't know what the fuck's going on with them. ''[to Frenchie]'' Hey, you don't even know where Kimiko's at.
:'''Hughie''': What, so you don't think you're gonna see Janine and Monique again? Is that it?
:'''Mother's Milk''': What I know is that they're a shit ton safer without me making a mess out of their lives.
:'''Hughie''': M.M., you're the strongest guy I know. We've been in tougher spots than this.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, I did two tours in the 3/8 in Farah Province. The shit I saw would ''fuck you up''. And even that was ''Emily in Paris'' compared to the shit that we looking at here. And even if we make it outta here, we ain't surviving this fuckin' war. We are dead men walking. Chin-chin, mοthеrfuckеrs.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie is shocked to see all of his prison bunkmates brutally murdered in their bunker. He sees Homelander sitting on his bed reading from his journal.]''
:'''Homelander''': &quot;Well, Annie, today marks two months. It's a little insane how much I miss you. I've been having trouble eating. Every day, I see people giving up, but not me. Because I have you.&quot; It's very, very sweet.
:'''Hughie''': They were innocent.
:'''Homelander''': Oh… ''[looks briefly at one of the corpses]'' Well, I'd hardly call them innocent. They lied to me. Played dumb about your little stash in the wall there. We've known about that for quite some time, but I just wanted to give you a little hope.
:'''Hughie''': You're not the one who gave it to me, asshоlе.
:'''Homelander''': Ooh, I like Internment Camp Hughie. She's zesty.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck you. Do it.
:'''Homelander''': What?
:'''Hughie''': Kill me.
:'''Homelander''': Not until we flush out Butcher and Starlight.
:'''Hughie''': You think they're dumb enough to just walk right into your trap?
:'''Homelander''': Let's not insult each other. We both know they're coming. ''[throws the journal at Hughie's feet]'' Do you remember when we first met?
:'''Hughie''': How could I forget? 
:'''Homelander''': Believe Festival. I tried to cleanse your soul. I remember thinking... ''[sighs]'' &quot;Why him?&quot; What does Starlight see in this gangly simp that reeks of fear and Strawberry Smoothie kids' shampoo? You know, William and Victoria Neuman love you, too. I mean, I get it from your perspective. You're punching up. Good for you. But why are they so hopelessly devoted to such staggering mediocrity? Why would Starlight and Butcher piss away their lives to try and rescue you?
:'''Hughie''': Because I'd do it for them.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher and Kimiko find Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk tied up and gagged by Homelander when they break into the Vought internment camp]''
:'''Hughie''': Butcher?! Oh, fuck.
:'''Homelander''': ''[waves]'' Surprise. Welcome, William. ''[to Kimiko]'' And you. The gang is almost all here. Oh, and uh, ''[looks down at Mother's Milk]'' you never told me that this one's nickname is... Mother's Milk. ''[licks his lips; laughs]'' Okay. So, what's the big plan? What, are you gonna sandbag me with the Godolkin virus? ''[Butcher looks shocked]'' Yes. I know all about it.
:'''Kimiko''': Suck my fat dіck!
:''[Homelander lasers Kimiko in half. The top half of her body falls to the floor.]''
:'''Homelander''': Hey, where's Starlight? Just doesn't feel like a party without my little lightning bug here... ''[pause; stares at Butcher]'' Jesus Christ, William. You've got a viper's nest in there. I'd heard about it, of course. But seeing it for myself, it's uh… it–it's incredible. I mean, it's fucking disgusting of course, but it's–it's beautiful. What you've done to yourself, what you've become… and you did all that for me? ''[pause]'' Now that… ''that'' is devotion. You know, William, I know we're not exactly equals, but I'm compelled to say… you are the only one that's ever challenged me. And there's a part of me that will be sad to see you go.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A-Train gets badly injured while being chased by Homelander, who eventually catches up to him]''
:'''Homelander''': Looks like someone ''can'' catch the A-Train after all. End of the road, buddy boy.
:''[A-Train starts laughing at Homelander as he gets back up]''
:'''Homelander''': What's so funny?
:'''A-Train''': What was I so afraid of? You are… fucking nothing.
:'''Homelander''': Really?
:''[Homelander lifts A-Train and pins him against a tree]''
:'''A-Train''': ''[grunts]'' Really. You're just an empty fucking suit. Take away these powers… and what are you, huh? A pathetic… weak… sniveling fucking loser.
:''[Homelander wraps his hand around A-Train's neck and slowly chokes him. A-Train continues laughing until Homelander snaps his neck, killing him instantly.]''

==''&quot;Teenage Kix&quot;'' [5.02]==
:'''Oh Father''': We fight hellfire with holy fire! We fight with the ballot box! We fight with the ammo box! Matthew 10:34 — &quot;I do not come to bring the peace, but a sword&quot;! You are not here to be blessed, you are here to do war!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Goddammit, A-Train. It didn't need to come to this. I don't know, you left me no choice! I know that my leadership style can be stern, but it was for your own good! I like to think of myself as the big brother that you never had. You remember that girlfriend you had? Uh... Pop... Popfang. Betrayed us both, to William Butcher, no less. Huge mess, your fault. What did I do? ''What did I do?'' I gave you a chance to make things right, I reached out my hand... and you bit it! What did I ever do to deserve that? What, was I too nurturing? Too forgiving? Well, maybe. But dammit, you weren't like the others: Snakes, backstabbers. I could count on you, man. I ''did'' count on you. I loved you... but here we are. Why does this keep happening to me? I guess the strongest men are the most alone. You wouldn't understand. Nobody does.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander releases Soldier Boy from his cryogenic chamber at Vought Tower. Soldier Boy wakes up the next morning in Homelander's bedroom.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no. It's okay. It's okay, I don't wanna hurt you. You're safe, okay? You've been in deep freeze again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, Jesus Christ. For how long?
:'''Homelander''': Almost two years in a CIA black site. I just found out this morning.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You found out this morning?
:'''Homelander''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But that just happens to be in your room? ''[pause]'' Did you fuck me?
:'''Homelander''': ''[legitimately confused]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this some kind of incest thing?
:'''Homelander''': No!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Then, what the fuck is this?
:'''Homelander''': ''[stammers]'' Look, I... I want you to find William Butcher.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Find him yourself.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the people that work for me are limited. And you are the best tracker there is. I just–I need you to find him and report back. Very simple.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You want me… to work for you?
:'''Homelander''': Well, why don't we say &quot;work ''with'' me&quot;? And... I can help you. I can give you a proper comeback.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need you for that.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the whole world does think that you're a Russian spy, so…
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[takes a deep breath]'' Okay. Alright, listen to me. I'm no ass-felching Commie. You got that?!
:'''Homelander''': I know, I know. And listen, I am Vought now. Me. So, the public, they're gonna believe that you are whatever I tell them you are. I can resurrect you. I can give you back what you lost. I can even make you number two in The Seven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Number two? ''[Homelander nods]'' Or how about I finish the job, and blast you to Kingdom Fuck.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, you could try. Who knows, you might even fry the V right out of my blood. Or you might not. But I'm betting that you hate William Butcher more than you hate... me. After all, I'm–I'm not the one that betrayed you, am I?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I tried to kill you. The minute I turn my back, how do I know you won't return the favor?
:'''Homelander''': Look... 
:''[Homelander picks up Soldier Boy's shield and gives it to him]''
:'''Homelander''': You find William Butcher for me… all is forgiven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat; looks at the shield]'' Looks like a fuckin' kindergarten ashtray. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Soldier Boy, ''[points at Calhoun and Ashley]'' this is the President, Vice President of the United States of America. They work for me. Everyone, Soldier Boy is gonna be number two in The Seven once he has located William Butcher and Annie January.
:'''The Deep''': What? Wait–Wait, what, sir? No, sir. I... I can do this. I can bring them in.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, like you did with A-Train? We're going in a new direction, Deep. Competence. ''[to Calhoun]'' Oh, and Steve, Soldier Boy's gonna need a full pardon.
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, he–he was guilty of... you know, treason. ''[pause; Homelander just stares at him]'' Consider it done, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific. And you know what? I'm sure the man's dying for a drink. Uh, Steve, can you make him a…
:'''Soldier Boy''': Manhattan.
:'''Homelander''': Manhattan. Thanks, Steve.
:'''Calhoun''': Of course. Can I get you a glass of milk, sir?
:'''Homelander''': ''[sternly]'' No. Steven… I'll also have a Manhattan.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goddamn. Since when could Supes teabag the President?
:'''Homelander''': Since me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Hughie looking despondent on their way back to the Teenage Kix mansion]''
:'''Butcher''': Oi, fuckin' smile, Hughie. I mean, ain't you a little glad A-Train's dead?
:'''Hughie''': …No, I'm not glad he's dead. A-Train did a lot of horrible things, but he saved our lives, and he died a hero. A real hero. There are a lot of other Supes that don't deserve to die either.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, I know you just done a year in the gulag. You've earned your seat at the table, so... I'll give it to ya straight. You gotta knock this wet, gaping pussy shite on the head, mate. Ain't doin' no one no favours. Especially your girl. I mean, that's why she's givin' you the cold shoulder.
:'''Hughie''': Don't talk to me about Annie. You don't know what's going on with her.
:'''Butcher''': Well, I know that she finally knows the fuckin' score. And she knows that you poncin' about with this Jiminy Cricket, &quot;listen to your heart&quot; bollocks is just gonna get her killed.
:'''Hughie''': Is there any part of you left that's still human? ''[pause]'' You're gonna get Annie killed, not me… but I won't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Noted.
:''[A shield suddenly pierces the windshield of the Boys' truck. Hughie catches the virus vial right as they crash into another vehicle.]''
:'''Hughie''': Fuck!
:'''Kimiko''': Hughie, the vial!
:'''Hughie''': It's good. ''[stares at the shield]'' Wait, is that...?
:''[They see Soldier Boy walking up the street towards them]''
:'''Butcher''': Well, well, well.
:'''Kimiko''': He's dead, right? He's supposed to be dead?
:'''Butcher''': Supposed to be. Mallory put him in ice for a bit.
:'''Hughie''': ''[slowly turns to face Butcher]'' You're telling us this ''now?''
:'''Butcher''': Somebody up there likes us, mate.
:'''Hughie''': In what fucking way?!
:'''Butcher''': Well, we wanted a guinea pig. Who better than Homelander's old man? New plan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Butcher''': Oi. Ain't you supposed to be a giant ice dіldо?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Aren't you supposed to be smart? Renting a truck under the name &quot;Don T. Beakunt.&quot; Same alias when we headed to Herogasm.
:'''Butcher''': Well, oldie, but a goodie.
:''[Soldier Boy sees Hughie and Kimiko get out of the truck and run away]'' 
:'''Butcher''': No, mate. Just you and me.
:''[Soldier Boy shoots Butcher three times, but to no avail. Butcher, still standing, looks down at his chest then looks back up at Soldier Boy.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess it's true. You're one of us now.
:'''Butcher''': Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Then fuckin' beat 'em.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Being super is not gonna save you.
:'''Butcher''': That don't stop us helpin' each other. Homelander's double the cunt now, if that's even possible. He needs doin' more than ever. You still fancy his seat on The Seven, don't ya?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Fuck you! We had a deal! I held up my end of the bargain, and you sold me out. Put me back in a fucking box! And for what? 'Cause I was gonna kill some dumb kid?
:'''Butcher''': That kid is your grandson.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, was it worth it? You feeling good about that call right about now? Where is that fucking brat?
:'''Butcher''': Homelander's the one fuckin' you over, mate. Or did he mention that we've got an uber virus strong enough to kill every fuckin' Supe on the planet?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Bullshit.
:'''Butcher''': God's honest. The things this virus can do... ''Fuckin' diabolical.'' Why d'you think he sent you here instead of coming himself, hmm? You're the sacrificial cunt. Again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess we'll see.
:'''Butcher''': You don't get it, do ya? Me, Homelander, your old crew–Everyone fucks you over. Do you wanna know why? 'Cause you... are a dumb fuckin' twat.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hughie Campbell. How is a useless cock-gobbler like you still alive?
:'''Hughie''': All your jokes are about dudes blowing dudes. You're kind of obsessed!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this the virus he was going on about? The so-called &quot;Supe Killer&quot;? Well, not today, you semen-swilling butt pirate.
:'''Hughie''': What?

==''&quot;Every One of You Sons of Bitches&quot;'' [5.03]==
:''[Homelander has a psychotic breakdown and hallucinates Madelyn Stillwell appearing to him as an angel]''
:'''Homelander''': Madelyn...!
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, my boy! My sweet boy... What is wrong? Why are you unhappy?
:'''Homelander''': My father and my son! Everything, it's all falling apart!
:'''Madelyn''': No! No, it's exactly what needed to happen. Yes, it's been foretold! You're about to ascend. Become immortal. Divine. A true god with the love of the world.
:'''Homelander''': But–
:'''Madelyn''': I know, you think love is weak and human. But who is more loved than Jesus? And why should he have more love than you? You save more people than he does. The one, true god...
:'''Homelander''': Yes... But how? How? Millions of people just hate me...
:'''Madelyn''': Well, then you baptize the unfaithful in their own blood. Rip babies from their mothers' wombs.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': Skin parents in front of their children. Rid the world of the wicked.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': The nonbelievers...
:'''Homelander''': They'll call me a monster...
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, the only ones left will be your faithful. And they will love you in their hearts. They'll cry happy tears at the mere thought of you. You have one last task, my love.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Homelander?
:'''Homelander''': Up here.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What do you– ''[sees Homelander taking a bath]'' What in the fuck? Is that milk?
:'''Homelander''': Better. Breastmilk from the NICU at Mount Sinai.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So, what? You asked me up here so I could watch you swim in tit jizz?
:'''Homelander''': I wanna give you another chance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You wanna give ''me'' another chance?
:'''Homelander''': Yes. Help me find that V1.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd rather fist myself with a handful of razors. Besides, Cleopatra Jones said there's no V1 to find.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, there most certainly is. And I am going to find it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah? What makes you so sure?
:'''Homelander''': ''[smiling]'' An angel told me. It's my destiny.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Just when I thought there was a ceiling to how fuckin' weird you could get.
:'''Homelander''': Yes, yes. Make your jokes. You've been blessed with immortality, and what have you done with it? Drink and fuck yourself numb. You... You are a disappointment. You see... ''[stands up and gets out of the tub]'' I am not gonna waste my immortality. I am gonna take what's rightfully mine. I'm asking you if you want a seat at the table because you're my father. But with or without you... a reckoning is coming.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' You know, all I see is a freak. A freak with a bushel of gray pubes. Try some Just for Men.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher takes Ryan to a pub to discuss his plan to kill Homelander with the Supe virus]''
:'''Butcher''': All you do is get him on the blower and tell him you wanna see him. When he rocks up, you chuck the shit in his face... and that'll be it.
:'''Ryan''': Why me?
:'''Butcher''': 'Cause he won't leave the fortress of cuntitude for anyone else.
:'''Ryan''': So this is what you wanted to talk to me about. Killing my dad.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, mate–
:'''Ryan''': Is that all you think I'm good for?
:'''Butcher''': I ain't gonna treat you like a kid no more, alright? You're done with that. Homelander raped your mum. He's gonna burn everything down, and you are the only one who can stop him. Now... Normally, I don't put no stock in any of that bollocks about destiny, but if anyone's got one, it's you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause; sighs]'' I throw this virus at him... what'll happen to me?
:'''Butcher''': You'll die. I'll be close by and we'll go together. Now... I ain't gonna lie to you. This… this is not what your mum wanted… But it's the only way. And it will be justice.
:'''Ryan''': You're asking me to kill myself?
:'''Butcher''': You wouldn't be the first lad to throw his life away in a war... but you would be the first to save the world doin' it. ''[beat; sighs heavily]'' I'll fetch us a pint.
:''[Later, Butcher returns with a pint of beer]''
:'''Butcher''': Here. Told her you were 30. ''[Ryan chuckles]'' Fuck the leather, fuck the lace, here's to the bird who sits on yer face. ''[takes a long sip of beer]''
:'''Ryan''': Where'd you pick that up?
:'''Butcher''': Me old man.
:'''Ryan''': You two close?
:'''Butcher''': Nah, not really. He was a... a piss artist. Used to lose all his money on the gee-gees–horses–and then, he'd come home, beat the livin' daylights outta Len and me. And then later, laugh about it with his mates. Yeah, he was a right cunt.
:'''Ryan''': Where is he now?
:'''Butcher''': Bottom of the Thames. I put him there, just the other day. Only wish I'd done it sooner, before he caused more... more damage.
:'''Ryan''': Butcher... Do you think that I could ever... That I might turn into my dad?
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know.
:'''Ryan''': ''[sighs]'' My mom... Aunt Grace... the others... All I do is hurt people. I can't be around anyone.
:'''Butcher''': Without us–without Supes–the world is a better, safer place.
:'''Ryan''': ''[beat]'' I'll do it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Edgar ''': You're fighting an unbeatable foe. You know that, right?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Who? Vought?
:'''Edgar''': Please. It's more powerful than Vought. Or Homelander. More powerful than nature or life itself. It's profit and loss; supply and demand; the elegant flow of currency across the globe. We're just cogs in a great machine, and we all have our part to play. Say you kill Soldier Boy, or Homelander, or even release this virus. When superheroes go out of fashion, something else will just take their place. Because corporations must still grow. Money must still be made. The machine must still be fed. That is the way of the world.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Motherfucker. When this is all over... you're aiming to run Vought again, ain't you?
:'''Edgar''': Like I said. We all have our part to play.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[pause]'' If that day ever comes... I have a part to play, too. And that's to put a bullet in your fuckin' skull.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy and Firecracker are on her TruthBomb talkshow set preparing for their interview together]''
:'''Firecracker''': It's an honor to have a great American like yourself on the show. I guess it runs in the family, huh? Homelander's father… Dang.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks at the gun at Firecracker's hip]'' Glock, huh? Never saw the appeal in foreign-made guns.
:'''Firecracker''': Well, this ain't your granddaddy's Glock. This here's a 9mm Gen 5, seven-round capacity with a crisp fuckin' break.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, mine's a much longer barrel. ''[takes out his pistol]'' Battle-proven, all-American Colt 1911 chambered in .45 ACP. ''[cocks pistol]'' That'll blow your fuckin' panties off. Now, that little Glock–That's good for a late-night Harlem stroll, but uh, this here? That's a certified Kraut killer.
:'''Firecracker''': I think you mean an antique.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean a classic. You wanna give it a try? ''[Firecracker examines the pistol]'' Now, some can't handle the kick, but something tells me you'll do just fine.
:''[Cut to Soldier Boy and Firecracker in bed together after having sex]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Whew. Well, I gotta hand it to you. I haven't fuckеd that hard since... since I railed Shari Lewis on the balcony of Studio 54.
:'''Firecracker''': I ain't got no idea who that is.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well... Hey, why the hairless pussy?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[gives Soldier Boy a disgusted look]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean, what's the point of going down there if you're not gonna get a fat face full of fur? Is that how Homelander likes you? Like a baby?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' More like a mother.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But you two have fuckеd, right?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[shakes her head]'' Mm-mm.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Damn. I gotta admit, I was kinda just doing this as petty revenge against the freak.
:'''Firecracker''': That's terrible. Who would do such a thing? And you shouldn't say that about your son.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Ah, he thinks he's better than me.
:'''Firecracker''': He doesn't.
:'''Soldier Boy''': How do you know?
:'''Firecracker''': I don't know much, but I can read people. And the way he looks at you? Shoot. I ain't never seen him look at nobody like that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Uh, that's not exactly a compliment, doll. He is the strangest mοthеrfuckеr I've ever known, and I've had a threesome with Gary Busey.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ryan and Homelander meet up at the now-abandoned VoughtLand building]''
:'''Ryan''': Do you remember when you took me here? Pretended to care about me?
:'''Homelander''': I ''do'' care about you, son. I love you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause]'' I need to ask you–
:'''Homelander''': For my forgiveness? You already have it.
:'''Ryan''': What?
:'''Homelander''': Okay, let me finish. I put too much pressure on you to fill my boots. And–And I realize now that, uh... Well, that–that was impossible. But I do have some pretty exciting news. I am going to live forever now. I'll realize my own legacy. And you... ''[scoffs]'' you're off the hook. You can do whatever–
:'''Ryan''': Did you do it? Did you rapе my mom?
:'''Homelander''': What?! Of course not. Who told you–Did William Butcher tell you that? Your mother and I, we had an affair. A consensual affair between two adults.
:'''Ryan''': Your heart's racing.
:'''Homelander''': Well, yeah, because I'm shocked. And–And frankly, my heart's breaking a little bit that you could think I would do something like that.
:''[Ryan lasers Homelander, leaving a visible wound near his chest]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan... Ryan, stop!
:''[Ryan lunges at Homelander and shoves him against the wall. Homelander ducks below Ryan's fist to avoid getting punched by him.]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan! I don't know where this is coming from, because your mother… ''She'' came on to ''me.''
:''[Ryan punches Homelander twice and tries to laser him again. Homelander quickly dodges him again.]''
:'''Homelander''': ''Ryan!'' Son... ''[moves away to avoid another punch]'' Ryan! Ryan, buddy... Look what came out of it: My son! A blessing! ''[Ryan attacks him again]'' Hey, hey! Stop!
:''[Ryan readies another laser, which gets redirected when Homelander grabs his face. He punches Homelander in the face again, but Homelander gets the upper hand and slams Ryan several times into a box. Homelander wipes blood away from his nose as Ryan whimpers in pain.]''
:'''Homelander''': Oh, Ryan... Dammit. Look at what you made me do. ''[pause; kneels down to restrain Ryan]'' Shh... Shh, shh, shh. Hey... It's okay. My sweet, sweet boy.
:''[Homelander proceeds to punch Ryan repeatedly in the face until he is beaten nearly to death]''

==''&quot;King of Hell&quot;'' [5.04]==
:'''Homelander''': I need you for something.
:'''Firecracker''': You do?
:'''Homelander''': I have received the most wonderful message. I was visited... by an angel. And she foretold my destiny.
:'''Firecracker''': Wow. Well, praise be. And what is it?
:'''Homelander''': God.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, that is wonderful. There is no higher calling than servin' the Lord.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. Not serving the Lord. Being the Lord. I am the Messiah. I'm the savior of the world.
:'''Firecracker''': The... Messiah?
:'''Homelander''': Yes.
:''[Firecracker smiles despite her being clearly disturbed by Homelander's delusions]''
:'''Firecracker''': Um... Congrats.
:'''Homelander''': Thank you. ''[pause; Firecracker giggles nervously]'' I always knew I was special. I knew it. I suffered. I suffered so many hardships, and I... I couldn't understand why, but you... You... You always saw it, didn't you? You knew all along I was special. That is why I have chosen you to spread the word of my coming.
:'''Firecracker''': How?
:'''Homelander''': Well, we control the most powerful media apparatus on Earth. Jesus would kill for our marketing. What do you say?
:'''Firecracker''': ...Well, you know I would do anything for you, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys are hiking through the woods near Fort Harmony]''
:'''Kimiko''': It's weird. No birds or animals. It's like…
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. ''[to Mother's Milk]'' Had to park on the other side of the state, didn't ya?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Well, if the hike's too hard, why don't you try tying your boots, mοthеrfuckеr.
:''[Hughie is shocked to see a heavily decomposed corpse]''
:'''Hughie''': Oh, fuck that.
:'''Butcher''': Eh. Not really my type, son.
:'''Hughie''': Hey, how about showing a little respect?
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, Hughie's right, Butcher. You should take her out to dinner first. ''[chuckles; sighs]'' Let's see here. Based on the decomp, these bodies have been here for a while.
:'''Frenchie''': Something ripped them apart. Whatever killed those Boy Scouts might still stalk these woods.
:'''Butcher''': Let's get a move on, then. Didn't come out here to get bummed by Bigfoot.
:''[...]''
:'''Butcher''': Any sign of Super Cunt?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Could already be inside.
:'''Butcher''': Well, let's find out.
:'''Kimiko''': ''[to Hughie]'' What's wrong?
:'''Hughie''': Annie.
:'''Kimiko''': She'll come back.
:'''Hughie''': No. I almost died, but she made it all about her and she took off. I mean, last year, I got bad-touched by a shape-shifter, and she still found a way to make it about her. She can be such a fucking bitch. ''[pause; sees Kimiko looking at him in shock]'' Uh... Jesus. Sorry, I–I didn't mean for that to come out so harsh.
:''[The Boys see an entire field littered with animal carcasses]''
:'''Butcher''': ''Fuckin' hell.''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck happened here?
:'''Frenchie''': Our V'd-up beast enjoyed an amuse-bouche, perhaps?
:'''Butcher''': Well, explains why we didn't hear no animals.
:'''Kimiko''': I said that ten minutes ago.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys discover more decomposed corpses as they make their way downstairs to the lab inside Fort Harmony]''
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. They've been here a minute, haven't they?
:'''Frenchie''': Decades. Hunters... ''[pause; notices the knives embedded in the corpses]'' Look at their knives. These men, they killed each other. What if there is a monster here, but it's us?
:'''Butcher''': What the fuck are you on about, Frenchie?
:'''Frenchie''': [[w:Toxoplasma gondii|Toxoplasmosis]]. It's a parasite in cat shit. It can infect humans. Makes them react with explosive anger.
:'''Hughie''': You think we ate cat shit?
:'''Frenchie''': Ate? No... If the V1 spilled into the groundwater, it could mutate the plants. Their spores fill us with rage, we murder each other, and ''voilà''. We're plant food for these vines.
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so like [[w:The Last of Us (video game)|''The Last of Us'']]?
:'''Frenchie''': No, that is just [[w:The Walking Dead (comic book)|''The Walking Dead'']] with mushrooms. The dead campers, the animals, these hunters... Surely, you all see how strangely you've been acting.
:'''Kimiko''': Us? I've seen you blow cоcaіnе up your dіckhole.
:'''Frenchie''': Wait... You have a point. The copious amount of drug I've taken for decades has surely altered my brain chemistry. That's why I'm not affected. 
:'''Kimiko''': Guess being a junkie was good for something after all.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Romeo and fuckin' Juliet. You two survive this war, I give you six months tops.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy search the ground floor of Fort Harmony while the Boys are in the basement below looking for the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sniffs]'' Smells like deer piss. The last time I was here, I was fresh off the front lines, still picking Nazi brains out of my hair. And only the best of the best got selected for Dr. Vought's trials.
:'''Homelander''': Hmmph.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Not soft little hog-chompers.
:'''Homelander''': Of course. No, I forgot how tough you were.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hey, I'm not the weirdo who doesn't fuck. I mean, your cock's as useless as your cape. What's the point of being famous if you're not getting your dіck wet?
:'''Homelander''': Oh, my dіck was sopping wet when I pulled it out of Stormfront and wiped it on her fucking chin!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; looks down at the decomposed corpses]'' Ooh, look. More uggos. 
:'''Homelander''': Friends of yours?
:''[They unknowingly set off the motion detector that the Boys set up near the stairs]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Oh, shit. They're right above us.
:'''Butcher''': We best get the fuck outta here. Come on.
:'''Hughie''': Hey. Hey, what about the V1?
:'''Mother's Milk''': If Bombsight has the V1, then it saves us from having to torch it.
:'''Hughie''': What are you talking about? Who's &quot;us&quot;?
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' What? You think the world needs more immortal cunts, do ya?
:'''Hughie''': We need it to save Annie and Kimiko! You've been planning this this whole time, haven't you?!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh. Homelander will hear us.
:'''Hughie''': ''[to Mother's Milk]'' And you, you've just been going along with it again.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We can't take the risk, Hughie. And if she has to be collateral damage so that Homelander dies and my daughter lives, we ain't got no fucking choice!
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, easy for you to say. It won't fucking kill you!
:'''Butcher''': Well, at least he knows when to keep his gob shut and do as he's fuckin' told!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Excuse me?
:'''Frenchie''': No, no, no. We don't have time for this. We need to find a way out now.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Wanna know a little secret, Butcher? I ''cheered'' when I found out that you were dying, 'cause at least we'd finally be done with your miserable ass.
:'''Hughie''': You know, I used to say to these guys, &quot;Don't give up on Butcher. There's good in him fighting to get out.&quot; I was wrong. If there was ''anything'' human in there, it's dead. Underneath that chestful of octo-cocks, you are just a fucking monster.
:'''Butcher''': Well, maybe I like it better that way.
:'''Hughie''': That parasite's not just in you. It ''is'' you. ''You're'' the cancer!
:'''Frenchie''': ''Lower your voices.''
:'''Hughie''': You are just as bad as Homelander, maybe worse. And I'm not gonna let you drag us all down with you.
:'''Butcher''': And whatcha gonna do about it?
:'''Hughie''': I'll fucking kill you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': ''[chuckles]'' Tough guy, my ass.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What?
:'''Homelander''': You, your whole bit. This whole &quot;guts and glory&quot; thing. What a fucking joke. I read your classified file. Your brother won a Silver Star for bravery at [[w:Battle of Anzio|Anzio]], and that's what made you beg your father to buy you a spot in Dr. Vought's trials. Because it killed you to see your brother dripping in all that glory, making you look all the more feeble in comparison.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't know shit about me.
:'''Homelander''': Really? I know that when they tried to inject you with the V, you were so fucking petrified that they had to strap you to the table. And you pissed yourself, crying for your mommy like the whiny, spoiled little rich boy that you are. They gave you the world, and you? You deserve ''nothing.''
:''[Soldier Boy stands by as Homelander walks into a small chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Oh, Christ. What's this shithole now?
:''[Soldier Boy shuts the door while Homelander isn't looking and turns the wheel to lock him inside the chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': What are you doing?!
:''[Soldier Boy bends the wheel with his bare hands and tears it off the door]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, well done. I'll be out of here in 30 seconds!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. Maybe not.
:''[Soldier Boy pulls down a lever to open a radioactive valve. Homelander's face immediately starts blistering from the radiation.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': It's enriched uranium. They'd stick us Supes in there to see if we could survive an atomic bomb. Now, for a normal joe, they'd be dead in minutes. But for you, it's a stomach flu. Good luck, though, getting out of a Supe-proof cell while you're bleeding out of your ass.
:''[Homelander fails to kill Soldier Boy by lasering him. He punches the glass as Soldier Boy walks off.]''
:'''Homelander''': Where are you going?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'm gonna go destroy any V1 that I find, you Triple Crown cock jockey.
:'''Homelander''': Why?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't get it, do you? How much I can't fucking stand you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Homelander trapped inside the uranium chamber]''
:'''Butcher''': ''[laughs]'' Oh, if only the world could see you now. Not so fuckin' super, are ya? You, uh... ''[points at Homelander's face]'' You got a bit of... ''[pause; Homelander coughs]'' Did your dad put you in timeout? Ooh… That's gotta sting, knowin' he'd rather spend eternity all alone than with the likes of you. What's the matter? Cunt got your tongue? Will wonders ever cease? ''[chuckles; lights cigarette]'' Tell me something. If you do get the juice in you, you think that makes you a god, don't ya? Seems like I know you pretty well after all. Which is why I know that even if you had a billion twats garglin' your bollocks and singin' &quot;Hosanna&quot;, you still wouldn't be happy. 'Cause deep down, you're just a weak, thin-skinned, needy little boy. You beat the shit outta your own son. Don't get weaker than that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs weakly while groaning in pain]'' Ryan is alive… because he's strong. 'Cause he's my son. The son of God.
:'''Butcher''': You ain't no god. How's about I go fetch the virus, and then we'll watch you shit your fuckin' spine out?
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You don't have it, do you? The virus.
:'''Butcher''': …Don't I?
:'''Homelander''': No, you don't. You would have used it by now. ''[coughs; laughs hysterically]'' You have no way to stop me, do you? Oh, William. You have no idea what you're up against. You can't intervene. I ''will'' get the V1, and when I do, I'm gonna flay you alive. You, Starlight–All the nonbelievers. You're all gonna ''fuckin' drown'' in your own blood.
:'''Butcher''': I promise you, before I die... I'll fuckin' have you. ''[walks away]''
:'''Homelander''': YOU'RE ALL FUCKING PASTE! I can take what's mine, and that makes this WHOLE FUCKING SHITBALL ''MY BIRTHRIGHT! '''MY DESTINY!'''''

==''&quot;One-Shots&quot;'' [5.05]==
:'''Firecracker''': Next up is a $500 million ad blitz with OOH, e-blasts, print and digital. Ain’t nobody won’t know about the Democratic Church of America… and its chosen prophet.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Prophets are servants.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course, sir. Great point. We’re just trying to ease people into it.
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no. We need to prepare America for my ascension. We must be honest. We must be direct. I like “savior.” Or–Or…
:'''Oh Father''': Lord. Yes, I couldn’t agree more, sir. Religion is not about being meek. We should dominate the seven mountains of society, bring the Kingdom of Heaven to Earth! Amen!
:'''Homelander''': Amen.
:'''Firecracker''': Amen! I love all that!
:'''The Deep''': So fucking dope.
:'''Oh Father''': Easter is just around the corner. How perfect would it be for your second coming to come on the day of Jesus' resurrection?
:'''Homelander''': Mmm… Second coming? Let's be clear: I am not the son of God.
:'''Oh Father''': Well, of course. Many people believe that Jesus is both God incarnate and the son.
:'''Homelander''': Well, that's just confusing. I don't want my church getting involved in all... that.
:'''Firecracker''': Exactly. Besides, if we pull up our timeline, you won't have… ''[picks up a bag with a large book inside]'' this.
:''[Firecracker kneels in front of Homelander, who accepts the book. He takes it out of the bag and sees &quot;The Homelander Bible&quot; with himself embossed on the cover.]''
:'''Oh Father''': We're gonna drag our feet because of a book?
:'''Firecracker''': Not a book. ''The'' book. The Homelander Bible.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause; lifts the book with his hands]'' Heavy.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[quietly]'' What the fuck?
:'''Firecracker''': It's got the Old Testament, the New Testament, and the brand new American Testament, written by A.I. trained on the works of Pat Robertson. See, we need to pass the torch, sir. From Jesus to you. Sir, we don't get more than one chance at a first impression. Are we really gonna rush something this important? We ain't [w:Arby's|Arby's]], after all.
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Firecracker''': We're the [[w:The Cheesecake Factory|Cheesecake Factory]].
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs deeply]'' Okay. We'll do it your way.
:'''Firecracker''': Thank you.
:'''Sister Sage''': You do realize this kind of sudden religious upheaval is likely to generate widespread civil unrest?
:'''Firecracker''': Local law should be able to handle the suburbs, but we could use extra hands in major metros.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, let's recall all Supes stationed overseas. American heroes should be protecting America, not Who-Gives-A-Fuckistan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Firecracker''': We ain't doin' that again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[chuckles]'' That's what you said the last six times.
:'''Firecracker''': No, I really mean it this time.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You seem a little out of it. Did you nut? 'Cause usually, you nut.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' Were you baptized?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah, in front of half of Chestnut Hill. Governor Sproul did the honors. My family kept up appearances, of course. Then, we never set foot in church again.
:'''Firecracker''': I had lunch today with the reverend who baptized me. He's been gettin' heat to switch over to our church. You think Homelander might be open to going easy on him? Just... give him a little more time? I wouldn't ask if it was just anybody, but that man practically raised me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So you didn't nut. You know, this whole Homelander as God shit, it's... it's fucking ridiculous.
:'''Firecracker''': Really? You think so?
:'''Soldier Boy''': If he's the second coming, then what does that make me? Joseph? I mean, talk about the biggest cuck in history. Man trades his best cow to bag some hot-ass virgin, and then God comes and squirts his baby gravy up her meat wallet. Fuck that.
:'''Firecracker''': I guess I've been struggling with where to place Homelander in my heart in relation to Jesus and the Lord.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course I worship Homelander. I mean, he's always been a god to me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Look, I'll tell you this. If there is a God... sure as hell didn't come out of my balls. I gotta go.
:'''Firecracker''': Where you off to?
:'''Soldier Boy''': L.A… ''[snickers]'' I fucking hate L.A.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker is filming her new episode of TruthBomb and starts reading her opening monologue from a teleprompter]''
:'''Firecracker''': Welcome to ''Truthbomb''. Our top story tonight's a personal one. It's the story of my hometown church, Holy Baptist of Daytona. It was the church I grew up in. Sang my hymns from the pews there every Sunday. But that church... That church…
:''[The teleprompter stops scrolling]''
:'''Firecracker''': ''[beat]'' That church... has become a hotbed of Starlighter infestation. And my old pastor, Reverend Greg Dupree, has been infected by Starlight's seditious propaganda. Now... I never told a soul this, but when I was a little girl, the reverend regularly had me over for supper. Alone. ''[pause; chuckles]'' No. Nothing ever happened to me, but... ''[sighs]'' I heard stories about his &quot;Fish Fry Fridays.&quot; And if that ain't code for child groomin', I don't know what is. How much longer are we gonna let these institutional pedo churches diddle our babies? Americans deserve better. They deserve... Homelander. They deserve the Democratic Church of America. ''[starts crying]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Would you like some knee pads?
:'''The Deep''': Sorry, what?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're looking at me like you wanna suck my hog. So I'm asking you if you would like some knee pads.
:'''Homelander''': Go easy on the little guy. He brought me Stan Edgar.
:'''The Deep''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Homelander''': You may leave.
:''[Soldier Boy stays behind with Homelander in the conference room as the rest of The Seven leave]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What crawled up your shithole?
:'''Homelander''': No idea what you mean.
:'''Soldier Boy''': When you're pissy, you tend to make everybody else's lives pissy too. Stan Edgar still stonewalling you?
:'''Homelander''': I've talked to him three times now. Says he has no idea where the V1 is. Heart rate steady as a rock. I'm starting to believe him.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That slippery fuck used to fetch my cоcaіnе. ''[pause]'' You know what? I have an idea. Why don't I take a crack at him? ''[Homelander stares at him]'' What, you don't trust me?
:'''Homelander''': Well, you did lock me in a room with nuclear material and tried to stop me getting the V1, so I'm sure you can understand my hesitance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You could've killed me at Fort Harmony, but you didn't. Maybe I feel like I owe you.
:'''Homelander''': Or maybe you're lying.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. ''[inhales deeply]'' Give me an hour. I'll meet you at Edgar's cell.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hughie''': If you and M.M. still think–
:'''Butcher''': Oh, for fuck's sakes, Hughie. Knock it off with this V1 shite! You're doin' me fuckin' head in! ''[sees his dog Terror eating out of the trash]'' Oi, Terror. Cut it out. Come on. ''[to Hughie]'' Now, listen. If we do find that stuff, we're not makin' any fuckin' vaccines out of it, alright? We're not the department of fuckin' health. We burn that shit before Homelander gets his paws on it, and that's that.
:'''Hughie''': Well, if you wanna kill yourself, knock yourself out, but why do you have to decide for the rest of us?
:'''Butcher''': Oh, 'cause I'm fuckin' right! 'Cause I've always been right! I've been tellin' you lot from the fuckin' start the sky is fallin', and guess what? The sky fuckin' fell.
:'''Hughie''': Well, you kinda helped bring it down.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, don't give me that bollocks. Listen, Homelander thinks he's a fuckin' god. Once he becomes immortal, he's gonna start killin' like one, and we are talkin' millions of people. Now, are you tellin' me you're honestly happy to risk all of that for a life on the run with your girl, knowin' that you could've stopped it? You can live with that, can ya?
:'''Hughie''': What if it was Becca? You'd just let her die?
:'''Butcher''': …I ''did'' let her die.
:'''Hughie''': Look… I know that Homelander comes first. I really do. All I'm asking is that we try. Annie and Kimiko deserve that much.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mister Marathon and Malchemical try to convince Soldier Boy to kill Homelander while he is unconscious]''
:'''Mister Marathon''': Hey, man, we don't have a problem with you. Honest, ''[stutters]'' but–but fuck this fucking guy. You know, he fuckеd my life. Look, if you help us get rid of him, then we all win, and you–you can have The Seven. And I don't even, like, really care if you bring me back or whatever.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need to kill him to get The Seven.
:'''Mister Marathon''': No. Yeah, of course not, but what about all that creepy shit he's doing with that church? I mean, they're rounding up everybody cool. All the hοοkers, the drug dealers.
:'''Malchemical''': They wanna ban pοrn. I mean, they wanna ban fucking abortions!
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay, well, banning abortion would be a big problem for me personally.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Exactly, for all of us. So, if we kill him, we can stop worrying about being cops or gods or asexual weirdos. You know, we can go back to fucking and–and being fucking awesome!
:'''Malchemical''': Look, we know you've got that fucked-up chest blast thing. I mean, I was at Herogasm. I saw it.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Just finish him now. Take away his powers, so we can curb stomp him while we have the chance. 
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' He is a fucking asexual weirdo.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Malchemical''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But as much as it pains me to say this, he's ''my'' fucking asexual weirdo. Nobody fucks my son but me.
:'''Mister Marathon''': What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …That came out wrong.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker sees Homelander sitting on the couch in the Seven common room]''
:'''Firecracker''': Homelander… How was L.A.? Did you catch tonight's ''Truthbomb?''
:'''Homelander''': I did indeed. And it was a real barn-burner. Well done.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[smiles]'' Thank you, sir. That means the world.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' How's sеx with my father? ''[Firecracker's smile disappears]'' Is he good at it? Are you thinking about me when you're making love to him?
:'''Firecracker''': I never meant to cross a line or offend you in...
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Don't fret, little one. I don't care about the sеx, really. But I ''do'' care about your little chats after sеx.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, whatever Soldier Boy told you, I can assure you that I...
:'''Homelander''': You mean your inner turmoil when it comes to me and, uh, Jesus? Are you thinking of Jesus when you're praising me?
:'''Firecracker''': No, you are my one and only savior.
:'''Homelander''': You say that, but your jagged little heart is whirring like a hummingbird. ''[sighs; gets up from the couch]'' You're supposed to worship me, love me and me alone.
:'''Firecracker''': I do.
:'''Homelander''': I believed in you. Turns out, you don't believe in me. ''[pause]'' I need you to collect your things and leave.
:'''Firecracker''': But I ''do'' believe in you. I love you! I am the only one here who ever has! I gave you ''everything!'' I gave you my soul! Everybody else here, they're just... They're just scared of you. Or they want something from you, but I have always loved you for you. Just the strongest, smartest, best man on Earth.
:'''Homelander''': ''[scoffs]'' Man?
:'''Firecracker''': No, no, no, no, no. A god. No. No, ''the'' God. My Lord, that look you used to get when you'd suckle me? I felt like Mother Mary herself. I felt blessed to nourish someone as important as you. ''[pause; Homelander sighs]'' But nothing I ever did was good enough, was it? You cast me out into the cold, which was so much worse than never feeling your warmth in the first place. So all I have been tryin' to do is to get you to see me the way that you used to. Hell, only reason I was with Soldier Boy was that your reflected light is better than no light at all. Please, sir. I love you. We all need love, don't we? Even God.
:''[Homelander reaches his hand out to touch Firecracker's cheek, then kills her by impaling her head on the left wing of an eagle statue]''

==''&quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;'' [5.06]==
:''[Hughie and Annie are laying down on the hood of his car looking at clouds together]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so that one?
:'''Annie''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Hughie''': It’s like a rabbit, but it’s got way too many feet.
:'''Annie''': Really? I see a frog eating a dick. This is definitely in my top five.
:'''Hughie''': Top five what?
:'''Annie''': Things to do with you.
:'''Hughie''':  You’re saying that like… this is the last time we’re gonna get to do this. Hey, listen to me. The guys are gonna find Bombsight, they’ll get the V1. You’re not dying. We will have plenty of time to look for filthy shapes in the clouds.
:'''Annie''': God, I don’t know where it comes from. This… unshakeable hope.
:'''Hughie''': Whenever I’d get upset as a kid, which was a lot… my dad would always say, “You know, son, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react.” And that was infuriating. But then, I spent a year in an internment camp, and I had no control over anything. I’d just lay there at night, just… so fucking angry, hearing my dad’s voice in my head… but then I finally understood what he meant. ‘Cause the only thing I had left was… hope. And it is ''really'' fucking hard to hang on to, but I… I’m trying.
:'''Annie''': I think… you might be low-key the strongest person I know.
:'''Hughie''': I’d prefer high-key… ''[Annie chuckles]'' but thank you.
:'''Annie''': ''[beat; points at the sky]'' Look, it’s–it’s Big Bird eating a dick.
:'''Hughie''': You see an unsettling amount of dicks up there, I’m just saying.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy look around Bombsight's empty house to find the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': You sure this is the right address?
:'''Homelander''': I'm sure.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, there's no sign of Bombsight... or fucking anyone. Maybe Crime Analytics got a bad tip.
:''[Homelander sees a laptop on the table. When he opens it up, a video of him and Stormfront having sex starts playing. He notices Soldier Boy watching along with him and closes the laptop.]'' 
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck was that?
:'''Homelander''': I can explain.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That was Clara. You told me she killed herself.
:'''Homelander''': She did, after Ryan did ''that'' to her. It's his fault.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So then what? You locked her in your apartment like some kind of amputee fuck doll...
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ...and filmed her for kicks?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no! It wasn't like that! I did... I did everything I could to keep her alive, to–to make her happy. ''[pause; Soldier Boy punches him]'' Just listen to me, okay?! It wasn't all like... that. I couldn't let her go. I didn't know how... because I loved her. And so did you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're goddamn right I loved her.
:'''Homelander''': She wouldn't want us fighting over her.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Don't fucking tell me what she would want! You knew her for five minutes; I was with her for decades! 
:'''Homelander''': Hold–Hold on. This–This is a setup. Someone's trying to separate us. This has been plan... Fucking Sage. It's Sage. You see? She's trying to screw with us. ''[Soldier Boy turns around to leave]'' Oh, come on! I can't find the V1 without you!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; turns back around]'' Good. You don't deserve to live forever.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher tries to call Bombsight using one of his old phone numbers, but gets a fax machine instead]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': That a fuckin’ fax machine?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, it’s the last of the numbers she had for him. ''[to Golden Geisha]'' Oi. Twenty-three fuckin' numbers you had for Bombsight, and they’re all fuckin' shite?
:'''Golden Geisha''': Do you know how to delete them? I was telling you the truth. I have no idea where Bombsight is, or how to reach him. So just let me go.
:'''Butcher''': Kimiko, keep an eye on her.
:''[Frenchie joins Butcher and M.M. on their way back to their hideout]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck do we do now?
:'''Butcher''': Fetch us some pliers and put the screws to her. She knows more than she’s lettin’ on.
:'''Frenchie''': Or she doesn’t. I’m sorry, but she’s not that good of an actress.
:''[M.M. and Frenchie draw their weapons when they see Sister Sage inside]''
:'''Sister Sage''': He’s right. ''[sarcastically]'' Ooh, I know. The villain switching sides in the final hour. What a twist, a shock that never happens. But unclench those assholes, fellas. I’m here to help. I’m a free agent now. I came alone. You can shoot me in the heart whenever you like.
:'''Butcher''': That’s a good idea. ''[takes out and cocks his gun]''
:'''Sister Sage''': That would go against our mutual interest.
:'''Butcher''': Which is?
:'''Sister Sage''': Stopping a petulant, laser-eyed narcissist from also becoming immortal. I want him dead as much as you do.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You spent the last couple of years building Homelander up, and now you wanna tear him down? Why the fuck should we trust you?
:'''Sister Sage''': You can’t trust me. Honestly, you shouldn’t, but you will.
:'''Frenchie''': And why would we do that?
:'''Sister Sage''': I know Campbell and Starlight are headed to plant your little virus. You can trace anyone, if you know what to look for. And you baboons, you leave a trail of banana peels wherever you go. I could have stopped you, I could have killed you... but I didn’t.
:'''Butcher''': That virus is gonna wipe out the fuckin’ lot of ya. And you don’t strike me as the suicide type.
:'''Sister Sage''': I will be in my nice, quiet bunker, reading [[w:Ludwig Wittgenstein|Wittgenstein]] in peace. That is, unless that bleached blonde baby gets his hands on V1 and survives. You must have realized by now Granny out there has no clue how to contact Bombsight, but I do. And I can get him here. So... let me help.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': I wanted to say... I'm very sorry about this. I watched every episode of ''Undercover Geisha'' when I was a kid. I loved it, even the parts that were ridiculous racist stereotypes. It meant so much to see someone who looked like me on TV. ''[brief pause]'' We watched with Japanese subtitles. It's how I learned English.
:'''Golden Geisha''': If you're such a big fan, let me go.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Désolé'', but we cannot. Not until we get the V1 that Bombsight possesses.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Wait, that's what you're after? V1? ''[laughs]''
:'''Kimiko''': What–What's so funny?
:'''Golden Geisha''': I'll tell Bombsight to just give it to you. I sure as hell don't want it.
:'''Kimiko''': ...He stole the V1 for you, so you two could be together forever. ''[pause]'' But you didn't take it.
:'''Golden Geisha''': ''[shakes her head]'' I said no... which is why he left. I guess, for him, watching me get old was too painful.
:'''Frenchie''': I'm sorry, I do not understand. Why won't you take it?
:'''Golden Geisha''': To live forever? It'd be torture. ''[scoffs]'' You're both so young. You wouldn't understand.
:'''Kimiko''': Maybe I would.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Summer is only beautiful when you know winter is coming.
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Kimiko]'' Is this how you feel?
:'''Kimiko''': ''[nods]'' Annie and I talked about it. We'd have to... ''[signing]'' We'd have to watch you and Hughie waste away. Neither of us wants to die, but... we don't wanna be vampires either. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Legend leads Homelander inside the Boys' hideout, which is deserted]''
:'''The Legend''': Okay, um... 
:'''Homelander''': No one here.
:'''The Legend''': I grant you, it–it looks like that, yeah. But this–this is their hideout, so I'm sure there's plenty of clues all over here. ''[picks up a receipt]'' Here you go. ''[Homelander sighs]'' Oh, no. Well, this is nothing. But, you know, they have to have left something behind, you know?
:'''Homelander''': ''[looks at the receipt; chuckles]'' Hmmph. It's not nothing.
:'''The Legend''': It's a Taco Bell receipt. 
:'''Homelander''': No, ''this is Sage!'' Taunting me! 
:'''The Legend''': Okay.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs frustratingly; sits on bed]'' This makes no sense. This makes no sense. This makes no sense! ''[chuckles]'' You said I would get the V1. You said I'd be a god. Did I do something wrong? Did I fail you? I did everything you asked me to. I gave my boy up. Please, don't leave me here to just rot. Don't just let me become ''nothing'' like ''him.'' Please…
:'''The Legend''': I gotta assume… The only reason you're saying all this stuff is, you're... You're not gonna let me walk out of here alive, are you? Yeah? Okay. Yeah. ''[pause]'' Alright, look, kid. I've been around a long time and I… This is just how it goes. You know all those old Supes at the home? Every one of them had their moments in the sun and they all thought it was gonna go on forever. And every one of them got shoved out in the end. They all got shoved out. All of them. And I know what I'm talking about; I did the shoving. I mean, look at Goldie. One minute, she's on the set of ''Undercover Geisha'', getting finger-popped by Lorenzo Lamas. The next, she's shilling for VoughtAlert necklaces and Activia poop yogurt.
:'''Homelander''': Geisha sells VoughtAlert necklaces?
:'''The Legend''': Guess you don't watch your own news channel. The point is, look, there comes a day… I got shoved out, too. Never saw it coming. Did not see that coming, and I fought it like hell. But in the end... bupkis. There is a natural order to things. And the more you fight the inevitable, the more the inevitable just… cunt-punts you. ''[pats Homelander's shoulder]'' Yep.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; gets up]'' You're not scared of me.
:'''The Legend''': No, I'm not scared of you. I… I feel for you, kid. I do. I mean, you're a fucking whackjob. But, you know, there's talent. So… No surprise there. ''[pause]'' So, there you go. Do what you gotta do.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' ...You can go.
:'''The Legend''': I–I can go?
:'''Homelander''': Leave. No words. Just go. Now. Go. ''Now.''
:'''The Legend''': Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
:''[After The Legend leaves the Boys' hideout, Homelander makes a call on his cell phone]''
:'''Operator''': How can I help you, sir? 
:'''Homelander''': I need the tracking coordinates for a VoughtAlert necklace.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Tough skin or not, I can still break your fucking neck!
:'''Bombsight''': Ben, stop. Please.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; lets Bombsight go]'' Goddammit.
:'''Bombsight''': ''[beat]'' I can't give it to you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goldie doesn't even wanna take it.
:'''Bombsight''': Then maybe someday, I'll find someone who will!
:'''Soldier Boy''': You were always gonna fuck it up with Goldie anyway. You could never hold down a girl! It was either a smack needle up your dick or— 
:'''Bombsight''': Having to stand next to you? You were everyone's favorite from the start, especially Clara. Everything they wanted us to be, everything they were working towards, they saw it in you. I fucking hated you for it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No. No, I wasn't everything Clara wanted. I didn't know how to be.
:'''Bombsight''': But you loved her. What wouldn't you give to have her back... forever?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …I really fuckin' hate you.
:'''Bombsight''': No shit.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But we don't have to kill each other. I can take away your immortality... and your powers. You won't have to live forever alone. Then, you and Goldie can spend whatever time you have left like you want.
:'''Bombsight''': Why would you do that for me?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd do it for the V1.
:''[Bombsight hands a case to Soldier Boy, who opens it to find a V1 syringe inside. The Boys hear an explosion from far away and run towards it. Cut to Bombsight looking at the wound near his shoulder.]''
:'''Bombsight''': This is the first time I've seen my blood in... I can't remember.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander finds Soldier Boy with the V1 syringe he received from Bombsight. The Boys and Sister Sage watch them from the nearby woods.]''
:'''Homelander''': Don't. I don't wanna fight you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks down at the syringe]'' You know, Clara used to say the craziest shit. That I was the strongest Supe alive, the ultimate expression of what we could be... but she was wrong. ''[pause]'' She hadn't met you yet.
:''[Soldier Boy offers the syringe to Homelander, who accepts it]''
:'''Butcher''': No.
:'''Sister Sage''': I don't understand. He wasn't supposed to... It's impossible.
:'''Homelander''': But you hate me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I love her more... and this is what she would want.
:''[Homelander lasers his left arm and injects the V1 into his wound. His eyes immediately start flickering and he kneels to the ground in pain. The Boys watch in horror as Homelander screams and shoots powerful lasers into the sky.]''
:'''Butcher''': '''''Run.'''''

===''&quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;'' [5.07]===
:''[A V1-empowered Homelander sits in President Calhoun's chair in the Oval Office. He hears a knock at the door]''
:'''Homelander''': Come in! ''[in a cheerful tone, as Ashley and Calhoun enter]'' Hello, you two. Isn't it a beautiful day?
:'''Calhoun''': ''[nervously]'' You're welcome to use this office as long as you need. 
:'''Homelander''': I know. Let's get right to it! While Oh Father is hard at work on my divine unveiling, I have a few action items I need you to handle.
:'''Ashley''': Of course. Anything, sir.
:'''Homelander''': The Democratic Church of America is to be the ''official'' national religion, based around the one true god: Me. 
:'''Calhoun''': Great idea.
:'''Homelander''': I want every boundary between church and state dissolved. I want troops sent into every sanctuary city that took in Starlighters. Issue an executive order banning abortion. Also, breastfeeding is now mandatory. Babies need their mothers, not fake milk. Actually, outlaw that, too.
:'''Ashley''': Sir? 
:'''Homelander''': ''[intensely] Ban nut milk.'' The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was making you think nuts were milk. ''[snickers after a short silence]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': Those are all, uh, fantastic ideas, sir, um... I'll run them by Congress– 
:'''Homelander''': No, disband it.
:'''Calhoun''': Sorry? 
:'''Homelander''': Disband Congress. It's better for freedom. 
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, I don't really have that authority. 
:'''Homelander''': ''[frowns]'' Ashley, do me a favor. Read Steven's mind. I want to know if he's a true believer. 
:'''Calhoun''': But of... course I am, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific! Then you have nothing to worry about. ''[gets up and steps over to Ashley]'' Do it. 
:''[He rips off her wig, and she gasps and covers her face in shame as &quot;Back Ashley&quot; is revealed]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': ''[revolted]'' What the fuck is that? 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': Don't look!
:'''Homelander''': Don't make me ask again. 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': ''[stammering in fear]'' Sir, I–I... Sir, I...
:'''Ashley''': ''[sighs; steels herself and turns back to Homelander]'' He's terrified of you, sir. He thinks you're just a tiny bit psychotic.
:'''Homelander''': Steven! ''[steps towards Calhoun, glaring intensely]'' Here I am. A living god. ''[rests his hands on Calhoun's shoulders]'' Right before your eyes. And still, your faith wavers? ''[beat; Calhoun is clearly too terrified to answer]'' It's okay. No, I'm not angry. ''[clasps his head gently]'' But I ''am'' disappointed.
:''[He crushes Calhoun's head into a pulp, then wipes the blood off his hands on a sofa. An utterly terrified Ashley stares at Calhoun's body as Homelander sits back down at the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie sees Kimiko suffering from radiation exposure inside a homemade uranium chamber while Butcher and Frenchie watch]''
:'''Hughie''': What the fuck is going on in here?
:'''Kimiko''': I'm okay.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' The second she's ready, we go the next dose, alright?
:'''Hughie''': &quot;Next dose?&quot; Are you kidding?! Look at her! What are you doing?
:'''Butcher''': Plan fuckin' B, my son. If at first you don't succeed, find another hole to fuck. See, Soldier Boy's flashy tіt blast got me thinkin', he–he weren't born with that power. The Ivans gave it to him through a consistent application of scientific methodology.
:'''Frenchie''': They threw an atom bomb worth of radiation at him.
:'''Butcher''': Right. So, usin' the research we nicked from 'em a few donkeys back, me and Frenchie are doin' the same thing to Kimiko. She gets Soldier Boy's power, she tіt-blasts Homelander, bees and fuckin' honey.
:'''Hughie''': So when we kept asking what you two were up to, and you kept saying, &quot;Mind your fuckin' business, cunt,&quot; it was this?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah.
:'''Hughie''': Butcher, this is... the most insane-ass shit I ever heard. In a few weeks, you're gonna somehow do what it took the Russians over a decade?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, 'cause unlike the Ivans, we got us a livin', breathin' supercomputer bunked down in student services.
:'''Hughie''': Sage? All she does is self-medicate and binge [[w:Love Island (American TV series)|''Love Island'']]. This could fucking kill Kimiko. Frenchie…
:'''Frenchie''': No. It's not my wish.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck Butcher. Who cares what he wants?
:''[Kimiko coughs and stumbles out of the uranium chamber]'' 
:'''Kimiko''': Not Butcher. ''[panting heavily]'' Me. It's my call.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Annie''': Oh Father's up to something big at Vought Studios, but we don't know what. Could be a trap.
:'''Frenchie''': Could be.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' You stay here with Kimiko and Sage. We'll bust into the studio, nab the holy twat, stomp on his bollocks till he gives us Homelander's next move. And then I'll do the cunt and we'll call it an honest day's work, yeah?
:'''Hughie''': No. Quit acting like we're going on a milk run. It's over. ''[voice breaking]'' We lost.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' [[w:Victoria Beckham|Posh Spice]] was easily the most shit member of [[w:Spice Girls|the squad]]. Could barely sing or dance. No discernible talent whatsoever. Wasn't even featured on [[w:Wannabe|&quot;Wannabe&quot;]], but did that stop her? No. You look at her now... still married with [[w:David Beckham|Becks]]. Fifteen engagement rings, 32 ''Vogue'' covers, inducted by Prince William into the Order of the bloody British Empire. Even I doubted her move into women's apparel, but her line is a staple at Paris fuckin' Fashion Week. You see, despite her obvious disadvantages–includin' a tragic inability to smile–she never gave up, and we ain't givin' up either.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shakes his head]'' Your fuckin' pep talks.
:'''Frenchie''': Terrible.
:'''Annie''': The worst.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, bollocks. That was a fuckin' knockout.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Alone and depressed, The Deep tosses an aluminum can into the sea. A hammerhead shark appears and [[w:Samuel L. Jackson|speaks to him]]]''
:'''Xander''': Yo! You gonna get that, bro?
:'''The Deep''': Xander! ''[chuckles]'' Hey, what you doing here? So good to see you, man.
:'''Xander''': We wouldn't want a little guppy to get caught in that can, my man. Come on in, grab it. ''[swims in circles]''
:'''The Deep''': I've had such a fucked day, man. You wouldn't believe it, bro.
:'''Xander''': Yeah. Get in the water, man.
:'''The Deep''': No. You're not... You're not listening to me–
:'''Xander''': ''[angrily]'' Ah, shut the fuck up! We know you were responsible for the pipeline genocide. Remember March 15th, motherfucker!
:'''The Deep''': No... No, wait, that–That wasn't me, man!
:'''Xander''': If you step one foot, one fucking stupid-ass simian toe in the water ''ANYWHERE''—an ocean, a stream, a fucking puddle—on God, son, you're dead! We're gonna ''KILL YOU!'' You understand, you dumb motherfucker?! Water is fucking off limits to you! ''YOU ARE '''DEAD''' TO US! [swimming away]'' Bitch-ass!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy sees Homelander standing over a scale model of a Homelander-themed amusement park]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': The fuck is all this?
:'''Homelander''': Hey. HomeLand. Next phase of the reboot. Showing the faithful my boundless love for them. ''[points at a monument of himself]'' That there? The Homelander Mount. We're saying that this is where the angel visited me, and I ascended to godhood.
:'''Soldier Boy''': …Right.
:'''Homelander''': You're gonna love this. ''[waves his hand over a rollercoaster]'' This area here? We're calling it: &quot;Soldier Boy! Father of God!&quot; All the fastest rides are gonna be there, and every night, there's gonna be a ticker tape parade, honoring you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' I'm gonna head down to Bogotá. Figure I'll snort and fuck my way through the banana republics.
:'''Homelander''': Uh... When are you coming back?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Probably not for… ever.
:'''Homelander''': What? Look, if you don't like the park, I mean, forget it. I don't–I don't care about any of it. You want hοοker and blow? I'll get you all the drugs and all the wrinkly old whοres in America.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No, you're not hearing me.
:'''Homelander''': No, you're not hearing ''me.'' I am where I am because you chose me. To help me. So, I want you to have whatever you want.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What I want is to get away.
:'''Homelander''': From what? ''[scoffs]'' Or from who?
:'''Soldier Boy''': This just ain't my bag, kid.
:'''Homelander''': I welded your shield back together, you never use it. I hired you a three-star Michelin chef, all you ever order is meatloaf and chili. I even had L.J. mock up a new super suit for you. 
:''[Homelander pulls out a poster of Soldier Boy wearing an American flag-patterned suit]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, God. See, that's what I'm talking about.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, God? What?!
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't want that. And another thing: I gave you the V1 because of Clara. Because that's what she would've wanted. This was never gonna be a &quot;playing catch on the front lawn&quot;, &quot;fixing up the old Impala&quot; bullshit. You're too weird.
:'''Homelander''': Stop fucking saying that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': And you're no god. No angel came to you. You had a wet dream about some chick with big, juicy tіts. If that makes you a god, then I'm a fucking god every night.
:'''Homelander''': '''I ''AM'' GOD!'''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' Would it help if I said, &quot;It's not you, it's me&quot;?
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs softly]'' If you wanna go, go.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sighs; pats Homelander on the back]'' Good luck, son.
:''[Homelander suddenly grabs Soldier Boy from behind and puts him in a chokehold until he passes out]''
:'''Homelander''': I love you.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mother's Milk''': Help me out here. In the movie, was Homelander God, the [[w:Second Coming|Second Coming]], or Jesus' brother? 'Cause the world-building in there was fuckеd.
:'''Annie''': Does it even matter? I mean, they will believe whatever he tells them. What is the fucking point of saving people if they don't wanna be saved? This is what they want.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[beat]'' Alright. So, back when my Gramps got killed by Soldier Boy, shit got rough. Neighborhood kids laughed, called me soft, shit like that. And then one day, I find this pigeon on the sidewalk, wing busted. He was in bad shape. So, I run inside, grab a shoebox and a first aid kit, and come to start nursin' it. I figure, if I can save just this one life, maybe it might somehow make up for... Anyway, those same fuckin' kids, they found out. And so now, it don't take a genius to go from Marvin Milk to Mother's Milk. &quot;Yo, Mother's Milk, you letting that sky rat suck on your tіttіеs or that dіck?&quot; They were relentless. Right up until the day when that little bird flew outta my house and right over their heads, good as new. And you know what, Annie? Here's the crazy thing: I loved my new name. 'Cause I loved helpin' people. I loved being kind, makin' my family proud. That name was a badge of honor for me. Now, last year, locked up in that detention center, something changed. My heart, it just got scarred over. Like the world had just broken it one too many times. And yeah, it got easier, just being cynical. Checking out. But I also hated myself a lot more. I went from being a mοthеrfuckеr with a heart to just being a mοthеrfuckеr. But you know what? Givin' a shit in a world where nobody gives a shit? It ain't soft. It's hard as hell… and that's the real me. ''[pause]'' And that's the real you, too.

===''&quot;Blood and Bone&quot;'' [5.08]===
:'''Homelander''': It's alright. I'm not here to hurt you.
:'''Ryan''': You mean like last time?
:'''Homelander''': Look at you. No harm done.
:'''Ryan''': How'd you find me?
:'''Homelander''': Crime Analytics caught wind of a young man flying outside Kolvereid. Tends to draw attention.
:'''Ryan''': I don't want your help.
:'''Homelander''': I know. You've made that very clear. But you're also the son of God, and you should not be sleeping in a barn. You can have a whole floor of the Tower. Do what you want with it, come and go as you please.
:'''Ryan''': I don't wanna be anywhere near you.
:'''Homelander''': Everything is different now. I've ascended. I'm immortal.
:'''Ryan''': Then, why do you give a shit about what happens to me?
:'''Homelander''': Because we're family. ''[Ryan scoffs]'' We have the same blood pumping through our veins.
:'''Ryan''': Yeah, well, you've got your shitty racist dad. So you don't need me.
:'''Homelander''': No, Soldier Boy doesn't matter. You and I, that's all that matters. I know you, because I ''am'' you. And you're me.
:'''Ryan''': Dad… Get fuckеd. I am nothing like you. You were already the most powerful person on Earth. And you were a lonely, miserable piece of fucking shit, throwing tantrums when you didn't get what you want. Why the fuck would more power make you any better? It's just going to make you an even more lonely, miserable piece of shit. Scaring people into calling you God doesn't make you God. And deep down, you know that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; tearfully sighs]'' It's okay. You don't know what's going on. It's okay… but you will.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[After M.M. kills Oh Father by blocking his mouth with a metal mouth gag, causing his head to explode and spill blood all around]''
:'''Hughie''': I really need a new job.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''The Deep''': It was all a test. Yes! The universe is rewarding me for my loyalty, just like [[w:Sean Connery|Sean Connery]] rewarded [[w:Kevin Costner|Costner]] at the end of ''[[w:Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves|Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves]]''!
:'''Hughie''': Sweet ''Jesus'', you're a moron.
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander gives his Easter address from the Oval Office and begins reading from a teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': My fellow Americans... Happy Easter. A day commemorating Jesus, who, as we all know, was tortured, stripped of his dignity and killed. And that's all well and good. But you're Americans. You deserve a God who doesn't die. A God who fights back. A God you can believe in. Well, today, I bring you good news. Recently, I was visited by an exquisite angel bearing the gift of revelation. As I bathed in her light, her heavenly lips spilled sweet truth into my ear, and I was awakened to my true purpose. Not just to be the world's greatest hero but to save all humanity. To be... the Second Coming. But in a way, really, I'm the First Coming. America... I am the Lord. Your savior. I am your God. And as such, I'm going to usher this world into a new, golden dawn. An age in which your God moves among you, seen and heard. Your prayers are truly answered when you visit homelander.church. And all I ask for in return… I simply ask that you open your hearts and put your faith in me. Those who accept my truth will be welcomed into a land of milk and honey. For I am your Fa…
:''[Homelander stares blankly at the teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': I am… ''[beat]'' But no matter what I do, some of you people will never accept me into your hearts. Never love me. Never believe in me. And to such heretics, I offer oblivion. And those who seek to destroy me, you will die the most horrible of deaths, as befits your wickedness. My reign will last forever, and when this world is cold and dead, I shall remain... eternal. God of the ashes.
:''[Butcher and Kimiko suddenly break into the Oval Office]''
:'''Butcher''': Evening, cunts. Daddy's home. 
:'''Homelander''': William. ''[pause]'' I was starting to think you weren't going to hold up your end of our deal.
:'''Butcher''': Scorched earth?
:'''Homelander''': A shame about the French one. How's your little science experiment going without him?
:'''Butcher''': Let's find out.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander is now at Butcher's mercy after losing his powers]''
:'''Butcher''': Shock and awe, my son. Blood and fuckin' bone.
:''[Homelander charges toward Butcher, who grabs Homelander's fist with his left hand and punches him three times with the other. Butcher grabs Homelander again and prepares to land another punch.]''
:'''Butcher''': This... is for Frenchie.
:''[Butcher punches Homelander in the face repeatedly, knocking him down to the floor and leaving him cowering in fear]''
:'''Homelander''': Stop! You owe me. All the times I could've killed you and I didn't, I let you live. I'll–I'll give you Vought. ''[Butcher picks up his crowbar]'' I'll give you Vought, alright? You can do whatever you want with it, okay? I'll–I'll... Becca. You want your wife back? I'll have a shape-shifter be her. ''[whimpers]'' Just tell me! I'll fucking suck your dіck! Please! I'll do anything! You want me to eat shit? I'll eat your fucking shit! I'll eat your fucking shit on live TV! ''[pause; Butcher knocks him down against the desk]'' Madelyn, you promised me. It's not real. ''[to Butcher]'' You can't fucking do this. ''You can't fucking do this! '''I am the Homelander!'''''
:'''Butcher''': No. Nah, you ain't nothing. And this... This is for my Becca.
:'''Homelander''': No, no...
:''[Butcher stabs Homelander in the head with the straight end of the crowbar. He lifts it up, breaking Homelander's skull open and spilling his brains all over the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie confronts Butcher at Vought Tower to stop him from releasing the Supe virus. Butcher is looking out the window when Hughie enters the main conference room.]''
:'''Butcher''': Traffic?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. Accident on the bridge. Should have taken the tunnel.
:'''Butcher''': ''[turns around]'' I thought you might try to stop me. But you shouldn't have come alone. You should've brought a fuckin' army.
:'''Hughie''': No. If you were gonna release the virus, you would've done it already.
:'''Butcher''': Unless... I'm waitin' for all the Supe cunts to clock in for the day shift. Not much point shootin' spunk into an empty fuckin' building, now is there?
:'''Hughie''': Okay, well, now I kinda wish I brought an army. Where's the virus, Butcher?
:'''Butcher''': I dumped it in the sprinkler tank. Frenchie's idea, God rest the mad bastard. ''[picks up remote controller]'' All I gotta do is pull this trigger, and it rains kill juice on all 99 floors. Shit will be worldwide within a couple of days.
:'''Hughie''': Why? I mean, we already won.
:'''Butcher''': Won? No, we just gave 'em a black eye. As long as there's Vought, there'll be Supes. And sooner or later, some cunt that's already out there becomes the next Homelander, and you fuckin' know it. No. We need to end the whole bloody notion of Supes, and we need to make it permanent. I mean, you can see it, right? This is it. This is the moment.
:'''Hughie''': You dragged me through fucking hell... for this. For now. To be your... canary. Or your Kessler. Or Lenny. But here's the thing: You don't need me for that. You never did. It's already in you. I can see it. You might have a broken fucking heart, but you have one. You are not a monster, Butcher. It just hurts to be human.
:'''Butcher''': I'm sorry, mate. Superheroes... are done.
:'''Hughie''': ''[pulls out gun]'' I can't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Petit Hughie and his gun. Takes some big bollocks to pull the trigger on a mate.
:'''Hughie''': ''[aims the gun at Butcher]'' I will if I have to.
:'''Butcher''': ''[chuckles]'' Nah. You ain't got the…
:''[Butcher takes the gun from Hughie, punches him and throws him across the room]''
:'''Butcher''': Stay down.
:''[Butcher sees Hughie staring at the remote and rushes to take it before Hughie does. Hughie quickly gets up and trades more blows with Butcher, spitting blood onto the floor after getting punched hard in the gut. Eventually, Butcher gains the upper hand and picks up the remote while Hughie lies helpless on the floor. Before he can pull the remote trigger, he has a hallucination of Lenny lying in Hughie's place. He gets shot in the abdomen by Hughie as he moves his finger away from the trigger. Realizing what he did, Hughie rushes to Butcher's side.]''
:'''Hughie''': I'm sorry. Um... I didn't wanna–I didn't wanna do that. Um... I'm–I'm gonna call an ambulance, okay?
:'''Butcher''': I wouldn't bother. It's alright, Hughie. I gave you no choice. I... I wasn't gonna stop. All the blood... and shite I put you through... and none of it made a blind bit of difference. You–You stayed yourself... no matter what I done. ''[coughs]''
:'''Hughie''': Hey.
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know what to do.
:'''Hughie''': You don't need to do anything.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat; Hughie holds his hand]'' You really are... the spittin' of Lenny.
:''[Butcher slowly loses his grip on Hughie as he dies]'' 
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': ''[last lines; to his and Annie's unborn daughter]'' Take care of your mom, Robin.
==External links==
{{The Boys}}
[[Category:The Boys (TV series) seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>pxpulfq5ws1w5et0gexvftt3u56sqlq</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943896</id>
      <parentid>3943894</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:28:33Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Constantin1995</username>
        <id>3215997</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943896</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="89864" sha1="e9si43zclrduxglxwp95l929bz69163" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Season''' [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 1|1]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 2|2]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 3|3]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 4|4]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 5|5]]  [[The Boys (TV series)|Main]]
----
'''''[[w:The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]''''' is an American superhero television series developed by Eric Kripke for [[w:Amazon Prime Video|Amazon Prime Video]]. Based on the comic book of the same name by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson, it follows the eponymous team of vigilantes as they combat superpowered individuals who abuse their abilities.

==''&quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;'' [5.01]==
:''[Homelander meets with Sister Sage after the Flight 37 video gets leaked to the public by Annie]''
:'''Sister Sage''': We knew this would happen sooner or later. We've been ready. In the last 24 hours, we have flooded the zone with so much disinformation, people can't tell their clit from their collarbone. The share price is only down half a point. Besides that, damage is minimal.
:'''Homelander''': ''[points at open book]'' What's this?
:'''Sister Sage''': That is a Gutenberg Bible. Martin Shkreli sold it to me at discount.
:'''Homelander''': You're really on top of the world, huh? Peter Thiel, the Obamas calling you for advice. Everyone loves you. 
:'''Sister Sage''': You can't really think I care.
:'''Homelander''': Maybe you didn't used to.
:'''Sister Sage''': It's all for you. The higher the share price, the happier the billionaires. The more you get to do whatever the fuck you wanna do.
:'''Homelander''': Are you aware that NNC is calling me a murderer? Saying that maybe I even did something to my son?
:'''Sister Sage''': No. Everyone knows that Ryan is... ''[sighs]'' Sorry. That he is at boarding school. In Svalbard. ''[chuckling]'' That story's holding. We're good.
:'''Homelander''': And how–how about you, Sage? Are you… good?
:'''Sister Sage''': I'm fine.
:'''Homelander''': You're not distracted at all? After Thomas Godolkin dumped you? You're not numbing the heartache by stabbing your brain?
:'''Sister Sage''': No.
:'''Homelander''': Then, just tell me. How did Starlight get in the building? ''[beat; exhales]'' I WAS '''HUMILIATED!''' As if people don't hate me enough!
:'''Sister Sage''': Your numbers are north of 96.
:'''Homelander''': Anyone can smile for the pollsters, sure, but millions of them are still Starlighters in their hearts! Where it counts! Have you seen the memes? Have you seen the ''memes'' about me?! ''[brief pause]'' Posting them should be a crime.
:'''Sister Sage''': Yes, but we can't go... ''[notices Homelander glaring at her]'' Oh, you're serious. Uh, sir... ''[chuckles]'' Ongoing conflict is useful to us. It keeps people afraid…
:'''Homelander''': Shut up.
:'''Sister Sage''': …which is exactly what we–
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no, no! NO! You promised me Caesar.
:'''Sister Sage''': He was stabbed by his best friends.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, well, I can relate to that! But I need people to be ''devoted!'' To '''''me!'''''
:'''Sister Sage''': May I speak freely?
:'''Homelander''': Give it a shot.
:'''Sister Sage''': I told you, no matter how much power you amass, it will not make you happy.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You know what's gonna make me happy? I think I'll be happy when Starlight and William Butcher are corpses. I want it leaked that in three days, we are going to execute Hugh Campbell, Milk, and the... French one. That'll draw out Starlight and Butcher, and then I will take care of this once and for all.
:'''Sister Sage''': Consider it done, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, wow. Your skin is so oily, like hugging a McRib.
:'''Annie''': Wait, did you—Did you just... How?!
:'''Kimiko''': Speech therapy and fucking therapy therapy and so much fucking TikTok.
:'''Annie''': Well, you sure sound like you're on TikTok.
:'''Butcher''': Sixteen-hour flight and not a fucking peep.
:'''Kimiko''': 'Cause all you can say is &quot;Oi, oi, oi. Cunt, cunt, cunt&quot;.
:'''Butcher''': I liked her better with her mouth shut.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Annie''': Took you long enough. Slowing down in your old age?
:'''A-Train''': ''[laughs and hugs Annie]'' Fuck you, [[w:Killing of JonBenét Ramsey|JonBenét]].
:'''Kimiko''': You guys are friends?
:'''A-Train''': You talk?
:'''Kimiko''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Annie''': Reggie's been helping us out for a while.
:'''A-Train''': ''[takes drink from Annie]'' Thanks. Where is everybody? ''[pause]'' I heard about the Pittsburgh raid last month. Go Marie Moreau. How's her team doing?
:'''Annie''': Yeah, they're scoring a few wins, but not nearly enough.
:'''A-Train''': So, what's with the 911?
:'''Annie''': Hughie, M.M. and Frenchie are gonna be executed tomorrow, so we need your help to break them out.
:'''A-Train''': Of a Vought prison camp? You're fucking crazy.
:'''Annie''': Listen, you don't have to fight, okay? We just need you to run them to the extraction point. It's easy.
:'''A-Train''': Easy. Right. You know Homelander's gonna be waiting. I can't.
:'''Annie''': We know how to kill him, okay? But we need Frenchie to do it.
:'''A-Train''': Great. Well, good luck with that.
:'''Annie''': Hey, are you gonna keep running forever? I mean, if we're gonna really take him out, we need your help.
:'''A-Train''': So what, I'm just supposed to join this little fucking supergroup?
:'''Annie''': I mean, we are down one asshоlе, so… Yeah, maybe.
:'''A-Train''': ''[pause]'' No.
:'''Annie''': Why not?
:'''A-Train''': I said I can't.
:'''Annie''': I know you're scared…
:'''A-Train''': No, I'm not fucking scared! I got a family to protect. ''[Annie sighs]'' I can't.
:'''Annie''': I get it, I do. Me, too. ''[pause]'' Keep them safe.
:''[Annie and Kimiko watch A-Train run off]''
:'''Kimiko''': We shouldn't have let him go.
:'''Annie''': No. Homelander fuckеd him up. Fuckеd me up, too. We're gonna need an Exit Plan B.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk go over their escape plan]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so we hit the east gate.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Oui'', Petit Hughie, when the guards change shift.
:'''Hughie''': And we go at dawn.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We've been through this.
:'''Hughie''': I know. I just wanna go over it a few more times just so I can get it in my head.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hughie… ''[holds out moonshine jar]'' Take a fuckin' drink, will you?
:'''Hughie''': No, thanks.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shrugs; to Frenchie]'' ''Mon ami?''
:'''Frenchie''': You know I quit.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Leave it up to you to have your shit the tightest you've ever had it in a fuckin' internment camp.
:'''Frenchie''': Yeah, what about you? Have you been eating the fresh produce I smuggle in?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Moonshine's got corn in it. ''[takes a sip of moonshine]''
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Hughie]'' Hey… Don't worry. Annie will be fine. She's strong.
:'''Hughie''': ''[takes liquor bottle from Frenchie]'' Kimiko, too. 
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Y'all mοthеrfuckеrs are trippin'. Y'all don't know what the fuck's going on with them. ''[to Frenchie]'' Hey, you don't even know where Kimiko's at.
:'''Hughie''': What, so you don't think you're gonna see Janine and Monique again? Is that it?
:'''Mother's Milk''': What I know is that they're a shit ton safer without me making a mess out of their lives.
:'''Hughie''': M.M., you're the strongest guy I know. We've been in tougher spots than this.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, I did two tours in the 3/8 in Farah Province. The shit I saw would ''fuck you up''. And even that was ''Emily in Paris'' compared to the shit that we looking at here. And even if we make it outta here, we ain't surviving this fuckin' war. We are dead men walking. Chin-chin, mοthеrfuckеrs.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie is shocked to see all of his prison bunkmates brutally murdered in their bunker. He sees Homelander sitting on his bed reading from his journal.]''
:'''Homelander''': &quot;Well, Annie, today marks two months. It's a little insane how much I miss you. I've been having trouble eating. Every day, I see people giving up, but not me. Because I have you.&quot; It's very, very sweet.
:'''Hughie''': They were innocent.
:'''Homelander''': Oh… ''[looks briefly at one of the corpses]'' Well, I'd hardly call them innocent. They lied to me. Played dumb about your little stash in the wall there. We've known about that for quite some time, but I just wanted to give you a little hope.
:'''Hughie''': You're not the one who gave it to me, asshоlе.
:'''Homelander''': Ooh, I like Internment Camp Hughie. She's zesty.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck you. Do it.
:'''Homelander''': What?
:'''Hughie''': Kill me.
:'''Homelander''': Not until we flush out Butcher and Starlight.
:'''Hughie''': You think they're dumb enough to just walk right into your trap?
:'''Homelander''': Let's not insult each other. We both know they're coming. ''[throws the journal at Hughie's feet]'' Do you remember when we first met?
:'''Hughie''': How could I forget? 
:'''Homelander''': Believe Festival. I tried to cleanse your soul. I remember thinking... ''[sighs]'' &quot;Why him?&quot; What does Starlight see in this gangly simp that reeks of fear and Strawberry Smoothie kids' shampoo? You know, William and Victoria Neuman love you, too. I mean, I get it from your perspective. You're punching up. Good for you. But why are they so hopelessly devoted to such staggering mediocrity? Why would Starlight and Butcher piss away their lives to try and rescue you?
:'''Hughie''': Because I'd do it for them.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher and Kimiko find Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk tied up and gagged by Homelander when they break into the Vought internment camp]''
:'''Hughie''': Butcher?! Oh, fuck.
:'''Homelander''': ''[waves]'' Surprise. Welcome, William. ''[to Kimiko]'' And you. The gang is almost all here. Oh, and uh, ''[looks down at Mother's Milk]'' you never told me that this one's nickname is... Mother's Milk. ''[licks his lips; laughs]'' Okay. So, what's the big plan? What, are you gonna sandbag me with the Godolkin virus? ''[Butcher looks shocked]'' Yes. I know all about it.
:'''Kimiko''': Suck my fat dіck!
:''[Homelander lasers Kimiko in half. The top half of her body falls to the floor.]''
:'''Homelander''': Hey, where's Starlight? Just doesn't feel like a party without my little lightning bug here... ''[pause; stares at Butcher]'' Jesus Christ, William. You've got a viper's nest in there. I'd heard about it, of course. But seeing it for myself, it's uh… it–it's incredible. I mean, it's fucking disgusting of course, but it's–it's beautiful. What you've done to yourself, what you've become… and you did all that for me? ''[pause]'' Now that… ''that'' is devotion. You know, William, I know we're not exactly equals, but I'm compelled to say… you are the only one that's ever challenged me. And there's a part of me that will be sad to see you go.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A-Train gets badly injured while being chased by Homelander, who eventually catches up to him]''
:'''Homelander''': Looks like someone ''can'' catch the A-Train after all. End of the road, buddy boy.
:''[A-Train starts laughing at Homelander as he gets back up]''
:'''Homelander''': What's so funny?
:'''A-Train''': What was I so afraid of? You are… fucking nothing.
:'''Homelander''': Really?
:''[Homelander lifts A-Train and pins him against a tree]''
:'''A-Train''': ''[grunts]'' Really. You're just an empty fucking suit. Take away these powers… and what are you, huh? A pathetic… weak… sniveling fucking loser.
:''[Homelander wraps his hand around A-Train's neck and slowly chokes him. A-Train continues laughing until Homelander snaps his neck, killing him instantly.]''

==''&quot;Teenage Kix&quot;'' [5.02]==
:'''Oh Father''': We fight hellfire with holy fire! We fight with the ballot box! We fight with the ammo box! Matthew 10:34 — &quot;I do not come to bring the peace, but a sword&quot;! You are not here to be blessed, you are here to do war!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Goddammit, A-Train. It didn't need to come to this. I don't know, you left me no choice! I know that my leadership style can be stern, but it was for your own good! I like to think of myself as the big brother that you never had. You remember that girlfriend you had? Uh... Pop... Popfang. Betrayed us both, to William Butcher, no less. Huge mess, your fault. What did I do? ''What did I do?'' I gave you a chance to make things right, I reached out my hand... and you bit it! What did I ever do to deserve that? What, was I too nurturing? Too forgiving? Well, maybe. But dammit, you weren't like the others: Snakes, backstabbers. I could count on you, man. I ''did'' count on you. I loved you... but here we are. Why does this keep happening to me? I guess the strongest men are the most alone. You wouldn't understand. Nobody does.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander releases Soldier Boy from his cryogenic chamber at Vought Tower. Soldier Boy wakes up the next morning in Homelander's bedroom.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no. It's okay. It's okay, I don't wanna hurt you. You're safe, okay? You've been in deep freeze again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, Jesus Christ. For how long?
:'''Homelander''': Almost two years in a CIA black site. I just found out this morning.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You found out this morning?
:'''Homelander''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But that just happens to be in your room? ''[pause]'' Did you fuck me?
:'''Homelander''': ''[legitimately confused]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this some kind of incest thing?
:'''Homelander''': No!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Then, what the fuck is this?
:'''Homelander''': ''[stammers]'' Look, I... I want you to find William Butcher.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Find him yourself.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the people that work for me are limited. And you are the best tracker there is. I just–I need you to find him and report back. Very simple.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You want me… to work for you?
:'''Homelander''': Well, why don't we say &quot;work ''with'' me&quot;? And... I can help you. I can give you a proper comeback.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need you for that.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the whole world does think that you're a Russian spy, so…
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[takes a deep breath]'' Okay. Alright, listen to me. I'm no ass-felching Commie. You got that?!
:'''Homelander''': I know, I know. And listen, I am Vought now. Me. So, the public, they're gonna believe that you are whatever I tell them you are. I can resurrect you. I can give you back what you lost. I can even make you number two in The Seven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Number two? ''[Homelander nods]'' Or how about I finish the job, and blast you to Kingdom Fuck.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, you could try. Who knows, you might even fry the V right out of my blood. Or you might not. But I'm betting that you hate William Butcher more than you hate... me. After all, I'm–I'm not the one that betrayed you, am I?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I tried to kill you. The minute I turn my back, how do I know you won't return the favor?
:'''Homelander''': Look... 
:''[Homelander picks up Soldier Boy's shield and gives it to him]''
:'''Homelander''': You find William Butcher for me… all is forgiven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat; looks at the shield]'' Looks like a fuckin' kindergarten ashtray. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Soldier Boy, ''[points at Calhoun and Ashley]'' this is the President, Vice President of the United States of America. They work for me. Everyone, Soldier Boy is gonna be number two in The Seven once he has located William Butcher and Annie January.
:'''The Deep''': What? Wait–Wait, what, sir? No, sir. I... I can do this. I can bring them in.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, like you did with A-Train? We're going in a new direction, Deep. Competence. ''[to Calhoun]'' Oh, and Steve, Soldier Boy's gonna need a full pardon.
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, he–he was guilty of... you know, treason. ''[pause; Homelander just stares at him]'' Consider it done, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific. And you know what? I'm sure the man's dying for a drink. Uh, Steve, can you make him a…
:'''Soldier Boy''': Manhattan.
:'''Homelander''': Manhattan. Thanks, Steve.
:'''Calhoun''': Of course. Can I get you a glass of milk, sir?
:'''Homelander''': ''[sternly]'' No. Steven… I'll also have a Manhattan.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goddamn. Since when could Supes teabag the President?
:'''Homelander''': Since me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Hughie looking despondent on their way back to the Teenage Kix mansion]''
:'''Butcher''': Oi, fuckin' smile, Hughie. I mean, ain't you a little glad A-Train's dead?
:'''Hughie''': …No, I'm not glad he's dead. A-Train did a lot of horrible things, but he saved our lives, and he died a hero. A real hero. There are a lot of other Supes that don't deserve to die either.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, I know you just done a year in the gulag. You've earned your seat at the table, so... I'll give it to ya straight. You gotta knock this wet, gaping pussy shite on the head, mate. Ain't doin' no one no favours. Especially your girl. I mean, that's why she's givin' you the cold shoulder.
:'''Hughie''': Don't talk to me about Annie. You don't know what's going on with her.
:'''Butcher''': Well, I know that she finally knows the fuckin' score. And she knows that you poncin' about with this Jiminy Cricket, &quot;listen to your heart&quot; bollocks is just gonna get her killed.
:'''Hughie''': Is there any part of you left that's still human? ''[pause]'' You're gonna get Annie killed, not me… but I won't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Noted.
:''[A shield suddenly pierces the windshield of the Boys' truck. Hughie catches the virus vial right as they crash into another vehicle.]''
:'''Hughie''': Fuck!
:'''Kimiko''': Hughie, the vial!
:'''Hughie''': It's good. ''[stares at the shield]'' Wait, is that...?
:''[They see Soldier Boy walking up the street towards them]''
:'''Butcher''': Well, well, well.
:'''Kimiko''': He's dead, right? He's supposed to be dead?
:'''Butcher''': Supposed to be. Mallory put him in ice for a bit.
:'''Hughie''': ''[slowly turns to face Butcher]'' You're telling us this ''now?''
:'''Butcher''': Somebody up there likes us, mate.
:'''Hughie''': In what fucking way?!
:'''Butcher''': Well, we wanted a guinea pig. Who better than Homelander's old man? New plan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Butcher''': Oi. Ain't you supposed to be a giant ice dіldо?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Aren't you supposed to be smart? Renting a truck under the name &quot;Don T. Beakunt.&quot; Same alias when we headed to Herogasm.
:'''Butcher''': Well, oldie, but a goodie.
:''[Soldier Boy sees Hughie and Kimiko get out of the truck and run away]'' 
:'''Butcher''': No, mate. Just you and me.
:''[Soldier Boy shoots Butcher three times, but to no avail. Butcher, still standing, looks down at his chest then looks back up at Soldier Boy.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess it's true. You're one of us now.
:'''Butcher''': Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Then fuckin' beat 'em.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Being super is not gonna save you.
:'''Butcher''': That don't stop us helpin' each other. Homelander's double the cunt now, if that's even possible. He needs doin' more than ever. You still fancy his seat on The Seven, don't ya?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Fuck you! We had a deal! I held up my end of the bargain, and you sold me out. Put me back in a fucking box! And for what? 'Cause I was gonna kill some dumb kid?
:'''Butcher''': That kid is your grandson.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, was it worth it? You feeling good about that call right about now? Where is that fucking brat?
:'''Butcher''': Homelander's the one fuckin' you over, mate. Or did he mention that we've got an uber virus strong enough to kill every fuckin' Supe on the planet?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Bullshit.
:'''Butcher''': God's honest. The things this virus can do... ''Fuckin' diabolical.'' Why d'you think he sent you here instead of coming himself, hmm? You're the sacrificial cunt. Again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess we'll see.
:'''Butcher''': You don't get it, do ya? Me, Homelander, your old crew–Everyone fucks you over. Do you wanna know why? 'Cause you... are a dumb fuckin' twat.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hughie Campbell. How is a useless cock-gobbler like you still alive?
:'''Hughie''': All your jokes are about dudes blowing dudes. You're kind of obsessed!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this the virus he was going on about? The so-called &quot;Supe Killer&quot;? Well, not today, you semen-swilling butt pirate.
:'''Hughie''': What?

==''&quot;Every One of You Sons of Bitches&quot;'' [5.03]==
:''[Homelander has a psychotic breakdown and hallucinates Madelyn Stillwell appearing to him as an angel]''
:'''Homelander''': Madelyn...!
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, my boy! My sweet boy... What is wrong? Why are you unhappy?
:'''Homelander''': My father and my son! Everything, it's all falling apart!
:'''Madelyn''': No! No, it's exactly what needed to happen. Yes, it's been foretold! You're about to ascend. Become immortal. Divine. A true god with the love of the world.
:'''Homelander''': But–
:'''Madelyn''': I know, you think love is weak and human. But who is more loved than Jesus? And why should he have more love than you? You save more people than he does. The one, true god...
:'''Homelander''': Yes... But how? How? Millions of people just hate me...
:'''Madelyn''': Well, then you baptize the unfaithful in their own blood. Rip babies from their mothers' wombs.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': Skin parents in front of their children. Rid the world of the wicked.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': The nonbelievers...
:'''Homelander''': They'll call me a monster...
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, the only ones left will be your faithful. And they will love you in their hearts. They'll cry happy tears at the mere thought of you. You have one last task, my love.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Homelander?
:'''Homelander''': Up here.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What do you– ''[sees Homelander taking a bath]'' What in the fuck? Is that milk?
:'''Homelander''': Better. Breastmilk from the NICU at Mount Sinai.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So, what? You asked me up here so I could watch you swim in tit jizz?
:'''Homelander''': I wanna give you another chance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You wanna give ''me'' another chance?
:'''Homelander''': Yes. Help me find that V1.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd rather fist myself with a handful of razors. Besides, Cleopatra Jones said there's no V1 to find.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, there most certainly is. And I am going to find it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah? What makes you so sure?
:'''Homelander''': ''[smiling]'' An angel told me. It's my destiny.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Just when I thought there was a ceiling to how fuckin' weird you could get.
:'''Homelander''': Yes, yes. Make your jokes. You've been blessed with immortality, and what have you done with it? Drink and fuck yourself numb. You... You are a disappointment. You see... ''[stands up and gets out of the tub]'' I am not gonna waste my immortality. I am gonna take what's rightfully mine. I'm asking you if you want a seat at the table because you're my father. But with or without you... a reckoning is coming.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' You know, all I see is a freak. A freak with a bushel of gray pubes. Try some Just for Men.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher takes Ryan to a pub to discuss his plan to kill Homelander with the Supe virus]''
:'''Butcher''': All you do is get him on the blower and tell him you wanna see him. When he rocks up, you chuck the shit in his face... and that'll be it.
:'''Ryan''': Why me?
:'''Butcher''': 'Cause he won't leave the fortress of cuntitude for anyone else.
:'''Ryan''': So this is what you wanted to talk to me about. Killing my dad.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, mate–
:'''Ryan''': Is that all you think I'm good for?
:'''Butcher''': I ain't gonna treat you like a kid no more, alright? You're done with that. Homelander raped your mum. He's gonna burn everything down, and you are the only one who can stop him. Now... Normally, I don't put no stock in any of that bollocks about destiny, but if anyone's got one, it's you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause; sighs]'' I throw this virus at him... what'll happen to me?
:'''Butcher''': You'll die. I'll be close by and we'll go together. Now... I ain't gonna lie to you. This… this is not what your mum wanted… But it's the only way. And it will be justice.
:'''Ryan''': You're asking me to kill myself?
:'''Butcher''': You wouldn't be the first lad to throw his life away in a war... but you would be the first to save the world doin' it. ''[beat; sighs heavily]'' I'll fetch us a pint.
:''[Later, Butcher returns with a pint of beer]''
:'''Butcher''': Here. Told her you were 30. ''[Ryan chuckles]'' Fuck the leather, fuck the lace, here's to the bird who sits on yer face. ''[takes a long sip of beer]''
:'''Ryan''': Where'd you pick that up?
:'''Butcher''': Me old man.
:'''Ryan''': You two close?
:'''Butcher''': Nah, not really. He was a... a piss artist. Used to lose all his money on the gee-gees–horses–and then, he'd come home, beat the livin' daylights outta Len and me. And then later, laugh about it with his mates. Yeah, he was a right cunt.
:'''Ryan''': Where is he now?
:'''Butcher''': Bottom of the Thames. I put him there, just the other day. Only wish I'd done it sooner, before he caused more... more damage.
:'''Ryan''': Butcher... Do you think that I could ever... That I might turn into my dad?
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know.
:'''Ryan''': ''[sighs]'' My mom... Aunt Grace... the others... All I do is hurt people. I can't be around anyone.
:'''Butcher''': Without us–without Supes–the world is a better, safer place.
:'''Ryan''': ''[beat]'' I'll do it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Edgar ''': You're fighting an unbeatable foe. You know that, right?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Who? Vought?
:'''Edgar''': Please. It's more powerful than Vought. Or Homelander. More powerful than nature or life itself. It's profit and loss; supply and demand; the elegant flow of currency across the globe. We're just cogs in a great machine, and we all have our part to play. Say you kill Soldier Boy, or Homelander, or even release this virus. When superheroes go out of fashion, something else will just take their place. Because corporations must still grow. Money must still be made. The machine must still be fed. That is the way of the world.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Motherfucker. When this is all over... you're aiming to run Vought again, ain't you?
:'''Edgar''': Like I said. We all have our part to play.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[pause]'' If that day ever comes... I have a part to play, too. And that's to put a bullet in your fuckin' skull.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy and Firecracker are on her TruthBomb talkshow set preparing for their interview together]''
:'''Firecracker''': It's an honor to have a great American like yourself on the show. I guess it runs in the family, huh? Homelander's father… Dang.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks at the gun at Firecracker's hip]'' Glock, huh? Never saw the appeal in foreign-made guns.
:'''Firecracker''': Well, this ain't your granddaddy's Glock. This here's a 9mm Gen 5, seven-round capacity with a crisp fuckin' break.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, mine's a much longer barrel. ''[takes out his pistol]'' Battle-proven, all-American Colt 1911 chambered in .45 ACP. ''[cocks pistol]'' That'll blow your fuckin' panties off. Now, that little Glock–That's good for a late-night Harlem stroll, but uh, this here? That's a certified Kraut killer.
:'''Firecracker''': I think you mean an antique.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean a classic. You wanna give it a try? ''[Firecracker examines the pistol]'' Now, some can't handle the kick, but something tells me you'll do just fine.
:''[Cut to Soldier Boy and Firecracker in bed together after having sex]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Whew. Well, I gotta hand it to you. I haven't fuckеd that hard since... since I railed Shari Lewis on the balcony of Studio 54.
:'''Firecracker''': I ain't got no idea who that is.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well... Hey, why the hairless pussy?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[gives Soldier Boy a disgusted look]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean, what's the point of going down there if you're not gonna get a fat face full of fur? Is that how Homelander likes you? Like a baby?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' More like a mother.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But you two have fuckеd, right?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[shakes her head]'' Mm-mm.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Damn. I gotta admit, I was kinda just doing this as petty revenge against the freak.
:'''Firecracker''': That's terrible. Who would do such a thing? And you shouldn't say that about your son.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Ah, he thinks he's better than me.
:'''Firecracker''': He doesn't.
:'''Soldier Boy''': How do you know?
:'''Firecracker''': I don't know much, but I can read people. And the way he looks at you? Shoot. I ain't never seen him look at nobody like that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Uh, that's not exactly a compliment, doll. He is the strangest mοthеrfuckеr I've ever known, and I've had a threesome with Gary Busey.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ryan and Homelander meet up at the now-abandoned VoughtLand building]''
:'''Ryan''': Do you remember when you took me here? Pretended to care about me?
:'''Homelander''': I ''do'' care about you, son. I love you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause]'' I need to ask you–
:'''Homelander''': For my forgiveness? You already have it.
:'''Ryan''': What?
:'''Homelander''': Okay, let me finish. I put too much pressure on you to fill my boots. And–And I realize now that, uh... Well, that–that was impossible. But I do have some pretty exciting news. I am going to live forever now. I'll realize my own legacy. And you... ''[scoffs]'' you're off the hook. You can do whatever–
:'''Ryan''': Did you do it? Did you rapе my mom?
:'''Homelander''': What?! Of course not. Who told you–Did William Butcher tell you that? Your mother and I, we had an affair. A consensual affair between two adults.
:'''Ryan''': Your heart's racing.
:'''Homelander''': Well, yeah, because I'm shocked. And–And frankly, my heart's breaking a little bit that you could think I would do something like that.
:''[Ryan lasers Homelander, leaving a visible wound near his chest]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan... Ryan, stop!
:''[Ryan lunges at Homelander and shoves him against the wall. Homelander ducks below Ryan's fist to avoid getting punched by him.]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan! I don't know where this is coming from, because your mother… ''She'' came on to ''me.''
:''[Ryan punches Homelander twice and tries to laser him again. Homelander quickly dodges him again.]''
:'''Homelander''': ''Ryan!'' Son... ''[moves away to avoid another punch]'' Ryan! Ryan, buddy... Look what came out of it: My son! A blessing! ''[Ryan attacks him again]'' Hey, hey! Stop!
:''[Ryan readies another laser, which gets redirected when Homelander grabs his face. He punches Homelander in the face again, but Homelander gets the upper hand and slams Ryan several times into a box. Homelander wipes blood away from his nose as Ryan whimpers in pain.]''
:'''Homelander''': Oh, Ryan... Dammit. Look at what you made me do. ''[pause; kneels down to restrain Ryan]'' Shh... Shh, shh, shh. Hey... It's okay. My sweet, sweet boy.
:''[Homelander proceeds to punch Ryan repeatedly in the face until he is beaten nearly to death]''

==''&quot;King of Hell&quot;'' [5.04]==
:'''Homelander''': I need you for something.
:'''Firecracker''': You do?
:'''Homelander''': I have received the most wonderful message. I was visited... by an angel. And she foretold my destiny.
:'''Firecracker''': Wow. Well, praise be. And what is it?
:'''Homelander''': God.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, that is wonderful. There is no higher calling than servin' the Lord.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. Not serving the Lord. Being the Lord. I am the Messiah. I'm the savior of the world.
:'''Firecracker''': The... Messiah?
:'''Homelander''': Yes.
:''[Firecracker smiles despite her being clearly disturbed by Homelander's delusions]''
:'''Firecracker''': Um... Congrats.
:'''Homelander''': Thank you. ''[pause; Firecracker giggles nervously]'' I always knew I was special. I knew it. I suffered. I suffered so many hardships, and I... I couldn't understand why, but you... You... You always saw it, didn't you? You knew all along I was special. That is why I have chosen you to spread the word of my coming.
:'''Firecracker''': How?
:'''Homelander''': Well, we control the most powerful media apparatus on Earth. Jesus would kill for our marketing. What do you say?
:'''Firecracker''': ...Well, you know I would do anything for you, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys are hiking through the woods near Fort Harmony]''
:'''Kimiko''': It's weird. No birds or animals. It's like…
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. ''[to Mother's Milk]'' Had to park on the other side of the state, didn't ya?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Well, if the hike's too hard, why don't you try tying your boots, mοthеrfuckеr.
:''[Hughie is shocked to see a heavily decomposed corpse]''
:'''Hughie''': Oh, fuck that.
:'''Butcher''': Eh. Not really my type, son.
:'''Hughie''': Hey, how about showing a little respect?
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, Hughie's right, Butcher. You should take her out to dinner first. ''[chuckles; sighs]'' Let's see here. Based on the decomp, these bodies have been here for a while.
:'''Frenchie''': Something ripped them apart. Whatever killed those Boy Scouts might still stalk these woods.
:'''Butcher''': Let's get a move on, then. Didn't come out here to get bummed by Bigfoot.
:''[...]''
:'''Butcher''': Any sign of Super Cunt?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Could already be inside.
:'''Butcher''': Well, let's find out.
:'''Kimiko''': ''[to Hughie]'' What's wrong?
:'''Hughie''': Annie.
:'''Kimiko''': She'll come back.
:'''Hughie''': No. I almost died, but she made it all about her and she took off. I mean, last year, I got bad-touched by a shape-shifter, and she still found a way to make it about her. She can be such a fucking bitch. ''[pause; sees Kimiko looking at him in shock]'' Uh... Jesus. Sorry, I–I didn't mean for that to come out so harsh.
:''[The Boys see an entire field littered with animal carcasses]''
:'''Butcher''': ''Fuckin' hell.''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck happened here?
:'''Frenchie''': Our V'd-up beast enjoyed an amuse-bouche, perhaps?
:'''Butcher''': Well, explains why we didn't hear no animals.
:'''Kimiko''': I said that ten minutes ago.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys discover more decomposed corpses as they make their way downstairs to the lab inside Fort Harmony]''
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. They've been here a minute, haven't they?
:'''Frenchie''': Decades. Hunters... ''[pause; notices the knives embedded in the corpses]'' Look at their knives. These men, they killed each other. What if there is a monster here, but it's us?
:'''Butcher''': What the fuck are you on about, Frenchie?
:'''Frenchie''': [[w:Toxoplasma gondii|Toxoplasmosis]]. It's a parasite in cat shit. It can infect humans. Makes them react with explosive anger.
:'''Hughie''': You think we ate cat shit?
:'''Frenchie''': Ate? No... If the V1 spilled into the groundwater, it could mutate the plants. Their spores fill us with rage, we murder each other, and ''voilà''. We're plant food for these vines.
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so like [[w:The Last of Us (video game)|''The Last of Us'']]?
:'''Frenchie''': No, that is just [[w:The Walking Dead (comic book)|''The Walking Dead'']] with mushrooms. The dead campers, the animals, these hunters... Surely, you all see how strangely you've been acting.
:'''Kimiko''': Us? I've seen you blow cоcaіnе up your dіckhole.
:'''Frenchie''': Wait... You have a point. The copious amount of drug I've taken for decades has surely altered my brain chemistry. That's why I'm not affected. 
:'''Kimiko''': Guess being a junkie was good for something after all.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Romeo and fuckin' Juliet. You two survive this war, I give you six months tops.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy search the ground floor of Fort Harmony while the Boys are in the basement below looking for the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sniffs]'' Smells like deer piss. The last time I was here, I was fresh off the front lines, still picking Nazi brains out of my hair. And only the best of the best got selected for Dr. Vought's trials.
:'''Homelander''': Hmmph.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Not soft little hog-chompers.
:'''Homelander''': Of course. No, I forgot how tough you were.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hey, I'm not the weirdo who doesn't fuck. I mean, your cock's as useless as your cape. What's the point of being famous if you're not getting your dіck wet?
:'''Homelander''': Oh, my dіck was sopping wet when I pulled it out of Stormfront and wiped it on her fucking chin!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; looks down at the decomposed corpses]'' Ooh, look. More uggos. 
:'''Homelander''': Friends of yours?
:''[They unknowingly set off the motion detector that the Boys set up near the stairs]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Oh, shit. They're right above us.
:'''Butcher''': We best get the fuck outta here. Come on.
:'''Hughie''': Hey. Hey, what about the V1?
:'''Mother's Milk''': If Bombsight has the V1, then it saves us from having to torch it.
:'''Hughie''': What are you talking about? Who's &quot;us&quot;?
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' What? You think the world needs more immortal cunts, do ya?
:'''Hughie''': We need it to save Annie and Kimiko! You've been planning this this whole time, haven't you?!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh. Homelander will hear us.
:'''Hughie''': ''[to Mother's Milk]'' And you, you've just been going along with it again.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We can't take the risk, Hughie. And if she has to be collateral damage so that Homelander dies and my daughter lives, we ain't got no fucking choice!
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, easy for you to say. It won't fucking kill you!
:'''Butcher''': Well, at least he knows when to keep his gob shut and do as he's fuckin' told!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Excuse me?
:'''Frenchie''': No, no, no. We don't have time for this. We need to find a way out now.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Wanna know a little secret, Butcher? I ''cheered'' when I found out that you were dying, 'cause at least we'd finally be done with your miserable ass.
:'''Hughie''': You know, I used to say to these guys, &quot;Don't give up on Butcher. There's good in him fighting to get out.&quot; I was wrong. If there was ''anything'' human in there, it's dead. Underneath that chestful of octo-cocks, you are just a fucking monster.
:'''Butcher''': Well, maybe I like it better that way.
:'''Hughie''': That parasite's not just in you. It ''is'' you. ''You're'' the cancer!
:'''Frenchie''': ''Lower your voices.''
:'''Hughie''': You are just as bad as Homelander, maybe worse. And I'm not gonna let you drag us all down with you.
:'''Butcher''': And whatcha gonna do about it?
:'''Hughie''': I'll fucking kill you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': ''[chuckles]'' Tough guy, my ass.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What?
:'''Homelander''': You, your whole bit. This whole &quot;guts and glory&quot; thing. What a fucking joke. I read your classified file. Your brother won a Silver Star for bravery at [[w:Battle of Anzio|Anzio]], and that's what made you beg your father to buy you a spot in Dr. Vought's trials. Because it killed you to see your brother dripping in all that glory, making you look all the more feeble in comparison.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't know shit about me.
:'''Homelander''': Really? I know that when they tried to inject you with the V, you were so fucking petrified that they had to strap you to the table. And you pissed yourself, crying for your mommy like the whiny, spoiled little rich boy that you are. They gave you the world, and you? You deserve ''nothing.''
:''[Soldier Boy stands by as Homelander walks into a small chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Oh, Christ. What's this shithole now?
:''[Soldier Boy shuts the door while Homelander isn't looking and turns the wheel to lock him inside the chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': What are you doing?!
:''[Soldier Boy bends the wheel with his bare hands and tears it off the door]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, well done. I'll be out of here in 30 seconds!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. Maybe not.
:''[Soldier Boy pulls down a lever to open a radioactive valve. Homelander's face immediately starts blistering from the radiation.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': It's enriched uranium. They'd stick us Supes in there to see if we could survive an atomic bomb. Now, for a normal joe, they'd be dead in minutes. But for you, it's a stomach flu. Good luck, though, getting out of a Supe-proof cell while you're bleeding out of your ass.
:''[Homelander fails to kill Soldier Boy by lasering him. He punches the glass as Soldier Boy walks off.]''
:'''Homelander''': Where are you going?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'm gonna go destroy any V1 that I find, you Triple Crown cock jockey.
:'''Homelander''': Why?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't get it, do you? How much I can't fucking stand you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Homelander trapped inside the uranium chamber]''
:'''Butcher''': ''[laughs]'' Oh, if only the world could see you now. Not so fuckin' super, are ya? You, uh... ''[points at Homelander's face]'' You got a bit of... ''[pause; Homelander coughs]'' Did your dad put you in timeout? Ooh… That's gotta sting, knowin' he'd rather spend eternity all alone than with the likes of you. What's the matter? Cunt got your tongue? Will wonders ever cease? ''[chuckles; lights cigarette]'' Tell me something. If you do get the juice in you, you think that makes you a god, don't ya? Seems like I know you pretty well after all. Which is why I know that even if you had a billion twats garglin' your bollocks and singin' &quot;Hosanna&quot;, you still wouldn't be happy. 'Cause deep down, you're just a weak, thin-skinned, needy little boy. You beat the shit outta your own son. Don't get weaker than that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs weakly while groaning in pain]'' Ryan is alive… because he's strong. 'Cause he's my son. The son of God.
:'''Butcher''': You ain't no god. How's about I go fetch the virus, and then we'll watch you shit your fuckin' spine out?
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You don't have it, do you? The virus.
:'''Butcher''': …Don't I?
:'''Homelander''': No, you don't. You would have used it by now. ''[coughs; laughs hysterically]'' You have no way to stop me, do you? Oh, William. You have no idea what you're up against. You can't intervene. I ''will'' get the V1, and when I do, I'm gonna flay you alive. You, Starlight–All the nonbelievers. You're all gonna ''fuckin' drown'' in your own blood.
:'''Butcher''': I promise you, before I die... I'll fuckin' have you. ''[walks away]''
:'''Homelander''': YOU'RE ALL FUCKING PASTE! I can take what's mine, and that makes this WHOLE FUCKING SHITBALL ''MY BIRTHRIGHT! '''MY DESTINY!'''''

==''&quot;One-Shots&quot;'' [5.05]==
:'''Firecracker''': Next up is a $500 million ad blitz with OOH, e-blasts, print and digital. Ain’t nobody won’t know about the Democratic Church of America… and its chosen prophet.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Prophets are servants.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course, sir. Great point. We’re just trying to ease people into it.
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no. We need to prepare America for my ascension. We must be honest. We must be direct. I like “savior.” Or–Or…
:'''Oh Father''': Lord. Yes, I couldn’t agree more, sir. Religion is not about being meek. We should dominate the seven mountains of society, bring the Kingdom of Heaven to Earth! Amen!
:'''Homelander''': Amen.
:'''Firecracker''': Amen! I love all that!
:'''The Deep''': So fucking dope.
:'''Oh Father''': Easter is just around the corner. How perfect would it be for your second coming to come on the day of Jesus' resurrection?
:'''Homelander''': Mmm… Second coming? Let's be clear: I am not the son of God.
:'''Oh Father''': Well, of course. Many people believe that Jesus is both God incarnate and the son.
:'''Homelander''': Well, that's just confusing. I don't want my church getting involved in all... that.
:'''Firecracker''': Exactly. Besides, if we pull up our timeline, you won't have… ''[picks up a bag with a large book inside]'' this.
:''[Firecracker kneels in front of Homelander, who accepts the book. He takes it out of the bag and sees &quot;The Homelander Bible&quot; with himself embossed on the cover.]''
:'''Oh Father''': We're gonna drag our feet because of a book?
:'''Firecracker''': Not a book. ''The'' book. The Homelander Bible.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause; lifts the book with his hands]'' Heavy.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[quietly]'' What the fuck?
:'''Firecracker''': It's got the Old Testament, the New Testament, and the brand new American Testament, written by A.I. trained on the works of Pat Robertson. See, we need to pass the torch, sir. From Jesus to you. Sir, we don't get more than one chance at a first impression. Are we really gonna rush something this important? We ain't [w:Arby's|Arby's]], after all.
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Firecracker''': We're the [[w:The Cheesecake Factory|Cheesecake Factory]].
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs deeply]'' Okay. We'll do it your way.
:'''Firecracker''': Thank you.
:'''Sister Sage''': You do realize this kind of sudden religious upheaval is likely to generate widespread civil unrest?
:'''Firecracker''': Local law should be able to handle the suburbs, but we could use extra hands in major metros.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, let's recall all Supes stationed overseas. American heroes should be protecting America, not Who-Gives-A-Fuckistan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Firecracker''': We ain't doin' that again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[chuckles]'' That's what you said the last six times.
:'''Firecracker''': No, I really mean it this time.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You seem a little out of it. Did you nut? 'Cause usually, you nut.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' Were you baptized?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah, in front of half of Chestnut Hill. Governor Sproul did the honors. My family kept up appearances, of course. Then, we never set foot in church again.
:'''Firecracker''': I had lunch today with the reverend who baptized me. He's been gettin' heat to switch over to our church. You think Homelander might be open to going easy on him? Just... give him a little more time? I wouldn't ask if it was just anybody, but that man practically raised me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So you didn't nut. You know, this whole Homelander as God shit, it's... it's fucking ridiculous.
:'''Firecracker''': Really? You think so?
:'''Soldier Boy''': If he's the second coming, then what does that make me? Joseph? I mean, talk about the biggest cuck in history. Man trades his best cow to bag some hot-ass virgin, and then God comes and squirts his baby gravy up her meat wallet. Fuck that.
:'''Firecracker''': I guess I've been struggling with where to place Homelander in my heart in relation to Jesus and the Lord.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course I worship Homelander. I mean, he's always been a god to me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Look, I'll tell you this. If there is a God... sure as hell didn't come out of my balls. I gotta go.
:'''Firecracker''': Where you off to?
:'''Soldier Boy''': L.A… ''[snickers]'' I fucking hate L.A.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker is filming her new episode of TruthBomb and starts reading her opening monologue from a teleprompter]''
:'''Firecracker''': Welcome to ''Truthbomb''. Our top story tonight's a personal one. It's the story of my hometown church, Holy Baptist of Daytona. It was the church I grew up in. Sang my hymns from the pews there every Sunday. But that church... That church…
:''[The teleprompter stops scrolling]''
:'''Firecracker''': ''[beat]'' That church... has become a hotbed of Starlighter infestation. And my old pastor, Reverend Greg Dupree, has been infected by Starlight's seditious propaganda. Now... I never told a soul this, but when I was a little girl, the reverend regularly had me over for supper. Alone. ''[pause; chuckles]'' No. Nothing ever happened to me, but... ''[sighs]'' I heard stories about his &quot;Fish Fry Fridays.&quot; And if that ain't code for child groomin', I don't know what is. How much longer are we gonna let these institutional pedo churches diddle our babies? Americans deserve better. They deserve... Homelander. They deserve the Democratic Church of America. ''[starts crying]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Would you like some knee pads?
:'''The Deep''': Sorry, what?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're looking at me like you wanna suck my hog. So I'm asking you if you would like some knee pads.
:'''Homelander''': Go easy on the little guy. He brought me Stan Edgar.
:'''The Deep''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Homelander''': You may leave.
:''[Soldier Boy stays behind with Homelander in the conference room as the rest of The Seven leave]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What crawled up your shithole?
:'''Homelander''': No idea what you mean.
:'''Soldier Boy''': When you're pissy, you tend to make everybody else's lives pissy too. Stan Edgar still stonewalling you?
:'''Homelander''': I've talked to him three times now. Says he has no idea where the V1 is. Heart rate steady as a rock. I'm starting to believe him.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That slippery fuck used to fetch my cоcaіnе. ''[pause]'' You know what? I have an idea. Why don't I take a crack at him? ''[Homelander stares at him]'' What, you don't trust me?
:'''Homelander''': Well, you did lock me in a room with nuclear material and tried to stop me getting the V1, so I'm sure you can understand my hesitance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You could've killed me at Fort Harmony, but you didn't. Maybe I feel like I owe you.
:'''Homelander''': Or maybe you're lying.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. ''[inhales deeply]'' Give me an hour. I'll meet you at Edgar's cell.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hughie''': If you and M.M. still think–
:'''Butcher''': Oh, for fuck's sakes, Hughie. Knock it off with this V1 shite! You're doin' me fuckin' head in! ''[sees his dog Terror eating out of the trash]'' Oi, Terror. Cut it out. Come on. ''[to Hughie]'' Now, listen. If we do find that stuff, we're not makin' any fuckin' vaccines out of it, alright? We're not the department of fuckin' health. We burn that shit before Homelander gets his paws on it, and that's that.
:'''Hughie''': Well, if you wanna kill yourself, knock yourself out, but why do you have to decide for the rest of us?
:'''Butcher''': Oh, 'cause I'm fuckin' right! 'Cause I've always been right! I've been tellin' you lot from the fuckin' start the sky is fallin', and guess what? The sky fuckin' fell.
:'''Hughie''': Well, you kinda helped bring it down.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, don't give me that bollocks. Listen, Homelander thinks he's a fuckin' god. Once he becomes immortal, he's gonna start killin' like one, and we are talkin' millions of people. Now, are you tellin' me you're honestly happy to risk all of that for a life on the run with your girl, knowin' that you could've stopped it? You can live with that, can ya?
:'''Hughie''': What if it was Becca? You'd just let her die?
:'''Butcher''': …I ''did'' let her die.
:'''Hughie''': Look… I know that Homelander comes first. I really do. All I'm asking is that we try. Annie and Kimiko deserve that much.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mister Marathon and Malchemical try to convince Soldier Boy to kill Homelander while he is unconscious]''
:'''Mister Marathon''': Hey, man, we don't have a problem with you. Honest, ''[stutters]'' but–but fuck this fucking guy. You know, he fuckеd my life. Look, if you help us get rid of him, then we all win, and you–you can have The Seven. And I don't even, like, really care if you bring me back or whatever.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need to kill him to get The Seven.
:'''Mister Marathon''': No. Yeah, of course not, but what about all that creepy shit he's doing with that church? I mean, they're rounding up everybody cool. All the hοοkers, the drug dealers.
:'''Malchemical''': They wanna ban pοrn. I mean, they wanna ban fucking abortions!
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay, well, banning abortion would be a big problem for me personally.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Exactly, for all of us. So, if we kill him, we can stop worrying about being cops or gods or asexual weirdos. You know, we can go back to fucking and–and being fucking awesome!
:'''Malchemical''': Look, we know you've got that fucked-up chest blast thing. I mean, I was at Herogasm. I saw it.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Just finish him now. Take away his powers, so we can curb stomp him while we have the chance. 
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' He is a fucking asexual weirdo.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Malchemical''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But as much as it pains me to say this, he's ''my'' fucking asexual weirdo. Nobody fucks my son but me.
:'''Mister Marathon''': What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …That came out wrong.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker sees Homelander sitting on the couch in the Seven common room]''
:'''Firecracker''': Homelander… How was L.A.? Did you catch tonight's ''Truthbomb?''
:'''Homelander''': I did indeed. And it was a real barn-burner. Well done.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[smiles]'' Thank you, sir. That means the world.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' How's sеx with my father? ''[Firecracker's smile disappears]'' Is he good at it? Are you thinking about me when you're making love to him?
:'''Firecracker''': I never meant to cross a line or offend you in...
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Don't fret, little one. I don't care about the sеx, really. But I ''do'' care about your little chats after sеx.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, whatever Soldier Boy told you, I can assure you that I...
:'''Homelander''': You mean your inner turmoil when it comes to me and, uh, Jesus? Are you thinking of Jesus when you're praising me?
:'''Firecracker''': No, you are my one and only savior.
:'''Homelander''': You say that, but your jagged little heart is whirring like a hummingbird. ''[sighs; gets up from the couch]'' You're supposed to worship me, love me and me alone.
:'''Firecracker''': I do.
:'''Homelander''': I believed in you. Turns out, you don't believe in me. ''[pause]'' I need you to collect your things and leave.
:'''Firecracker''': But I ''do'' believe in you. I love you! I am the only one here who ever has! I gave you ''everything!'' I gave you my soul! Everybody else here, they're just... They're just scared of you. Or they want something from you, but I have always loved you for you. Just the strongest, smartest, best man on Earth.
:'''Homelander''': ''[scoffs]'' Man?
:'''Firecracker''': No, no, no, no, no. A god. No. No, ''the'' God. My Lord, that look you used to get when you'd suckle me? I felt like Mother Mary herself. I felt blessed to nourish someone as important as you. ''[pause; Homelander sighs]'' But nothing I ever did was good enough, was it? You cast me out into the cold, which was so much worse than never feeling your warmth in the first place. So all I have been tryin' to do is to get you to see me the way that you used to. Hell, only reason I was with Soldier Boy was that your reflected light is better than no light at all. Please, sir. I love you. We all need love, don't we? Even God.
:''[Homelander reaches his hand out to touch Firecracker's cheek, then kills her by impaling her head on the left wing of an eagle statue]''

==''&quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;'' [5.06]==
:''[Hughie and Annie are laying down on the hood of his car looking at clouds together]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so that one?
:'''Annie''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Hughie''': It’s like a rabbit, but it’s got way too many feet.
:'''Annie''': Really? I see a frog eating a dick. This is definitely in my top five.
:'''Hughie''': Top five what?
:'''Annie''': Things to do with you.
:'''Hughie''':  You’re saying that like… this is the last time we’re gonna get to do this. Hey, listen to me. The guys are gonna find Bombsight, they’ll get the V1. You’re not dying. We will have plenty of time to look for filthy shapes in the clouds.
:'''Annie''': God, I don’t know where it comes from. This… unshakeable hope.
:'''Hughie''': Whenever I’d get upset as a kid, which was a lot… my dad would always say, “You know, son, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react.” And that was infuriating. But then, I spent a year in an internment camp, and I had no control over anything. I’d just lay there at night, just… so fucking angry, hearing my dad’s voice in my head… but then I finally understood what he meant. ‘Cause the only thing I had left was… hope. And it is ''really'' fucking hard to hang on to, but I… I’m trying.
:'''Annie''': I think… you might be low-key the strongest person I know.
:'''Hughie''': I’d prefer high-key… ''[Annie chuckles]'' but thank you.
:'''Annie''': ''[beat; points at the sky]'' Look, it’s–it’s Big Bird eating a dick.
:'''Hughie''': You see an unsettling amount of dicks up there, I’m just saying.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy look around Bombsight's empty house to find the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': You sure this is the right address?
:'''Homelander''': I'm sure.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, there's no sign of Bombsight... or fucking anyone. Maybe Crime Analytics got a bad tip.
:''[Homelander sees a laptop on the table. When he opens it up, a video of him and Stormfront having sex starts playing. He notices Soldier Boy watching along with him and closes the laptop.]'' 
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck was that?
:'''Homelander''': I can explain.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That was Clara. You told me she killed herself.
:'''Homelander''': She did, after Ryan did ''that'' to her. It's his fault.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So then what? You locked her in your apartment like some kind of amputee fuck doll...
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ...and filmed her for kicks?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no! It wasn't like that! I did... I did everything I could to keep her alive, to–to make her happy. ''[pause; Soldier Boy punches him]'' Just listen to me, okay?! It wasn't all like... that. I couldn't let her go. I didn't know how... because I loved her. And so did you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're goddamn right I loved her.
:'''Homelander''': She wouldn't want us fighting over her.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Don't fucking tell me what she would want! You knew her for five minutes; I was with her for decades! 
:'''Homelander''': Hold–Hold on. This–This is a setup. Someone's trying to separate us. This has been plan... Fucking Sage. It's Sage. You see? She's trying to screw with us. ''[Soldier Boy turns around to leave]'' Oh, come on! I can't find the V1 without you!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; turns back around]'' Good. You don't deserve to live forever.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher tries to call Bombsight using one of his old phone numbers, but gets a fax machine instead]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': That a fuckin’ fax machine?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, it’s the last of the numbers she had for him. ''[to Golden Geisha]'' Oi. Twenty-three fuckin' numbers you had for Bombsight, and they’re all fuckin' shite?
:'''Golden Geisha''': Do you know how to delete them? I was telling you the truth. I have no idea where Bombsight is, or how to reach him. So just let me go.
:'''Butcher''': Kimiko, keep an eye on her.
:''[Frenchie joins Butcher and M.M. on their way back to their hideout]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck do we do now?
:'''Butcher''': Fetch us some pliers and put the screws to her. She knows more than she’s lettin’ on.
:'''Frenchie''': Or she doesn’t. I’m sorry, but she’s not that good of an actress.
:''[M.M. and Frenchie draw their weapons when they see Sister Sage inside]''
:'''Sister Sage''': He’s right. ''[sarcastically]'' Ooh, I know. The villain switching sides in the final hour. What a twist, a shock that never happens. But unclench those assholes, fellas. I’m here to help. I’m a free agent now. I came alone. You can shoot me in the heart whenever you like.
:'''Butcher''': That’s a good idea. ''[takes out and cocks his gun]''
:'''Sister Sage''': That would go against our mutual interest.
:'''Butcher''': Which is?
:'''Sister Sage''': Stopping a petulant, laser-eyed narcissist from also becoming immortal. I want him dead as much as you do.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You spent the last couple of years building Homelander up, and now you wanna tear him down? Why the fuck should we trust you?
:'''Sister Sage''': You can’t trust me. Honestly, you shouldn’t, but you will.
:'''Frenchie''': And why would we do that?
:'''Sister Sage''': I know Campbell and Starlight are headed to plant your little virus. You can trace anyone, if you know what to look for. And you baboons, you leave a trail of banana peels wherever you go. I could have stopped you, I could have killed you... but I didn’t.
:'''Butcher''': That virus is gonna wipe out the fuckin’ lot of ya. And you don’t strike me as the suicide type.
:'''Sister Sage''': I will be in my nice, quiet bunker, reading [[w:Ludwig Wittgenstein|Wittgenstein]] in peace. That is, unless that bleached blonde baby gets his hands on V1 and survives. You must have realized by now Granny out there has no clue how to contact Bombsight, but I do. And I can get him here. So... let me help.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': I wanted to say... I'm very sorry about this. I watched every episode of ''Undercover Geisha'' when I was a kid. I loved it, even the parts that were ridiculous racist stereotypes. It meant so much to see someone who looked like me on TV. ''[brief pause]'' We watched with Japanese subtitles. It's how I learned English.
:'''Golden Geisha''': If you're such a big fan, let me go.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Désolé'', but we cannot. Not until we get the V1 that Bombsight possesses.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Wait, that's what you're after? V1? ''[laughs]''
:'''Kimiko''': What–What's so funny?
:'''Golden Geisha''': I'll tell Bombsight to just give it to you. I sure as hell don't want it.
:'''Kimiko''': ...He stole the V1 for you, so you two could be together forever. ''[pause]'' But you didn't take it.
:'''Golden Geisha''': ''[shakes her head]'' I said no... which is why he left. I guess, for him, watching me get old was too painful.
:'''Frenchie''': I'm sorry, I do not understand. Why won't you take it?
:'''Golden Geisha''': To live forever? It'd be torture. ''[scoffs]'' You're both so young. You wouldn't understand.
:'''Kimiko''': Maybe I would.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Summer is only beautiful when you know winter is coming.
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Kimiko]'' Is this how you feel?
:'''Kimiko''': ''[nods]'' Annie and I talked about it. We'd have to... ''[signing]'' We'd have to watch you and Hughie waste away. Neither of us wants to die, but... we don't wanna be vampires either. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Legend leads Homelander inside the Boys' hideout, which is deserted]''
:'''The Legend''': Okay, um... 
:'''Homelander''': No one here.
:'''The Legend''': I grant you, it–it looks like that, yeah. But this–this is their hideout, so I'm sure there's plenty of clues all over here. ''[picks up a receipt]'' Here you go. ''[Homelander sighs]'' Oh, no. Well, this is nothing. But, you know, they have to have left something behind, you know?
:'''Homelander''': ''[looks at the receipt; chuckles]'' Hmmph. It's not nothing.
:'''The Legend''': It's a Taco Bell receipt. 
:'''Homelander''': No, ''this is Sage!'' Taunting me! 
:'''The Legend''': Okay.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs frustratingly; sits on bed]'' This makes no sense. This makes no sense. This makes no sense! ''[chuckles]'' You said I would get the V1. You said I'd be a god. Did I do something wrong? Did I fail you? I did everything you asked me to. I gave my boy up. Please, don't leave me here to just rot. Don't just let me become ''nothing'' like ''him.'' Please…
:'''The Legend''': I gotta assume… The only reason you're saying all this stuff is, you're... You're not gonna let me walk out of here alive, are you? Yeah? Okay. Yeah. ''[pause]'' Alright, look, kid. I've been around a long time and I… This is just how it goes. You know all those old Supes at the home? Every one of them had their moments in the sun and they all thought it was gonna go on forever. And every one of them got shoved out in the end. They all got shoved out. All of them. And I know what I'm talking about; I did the shoving. I mean, look at Goldie. One minute, she's on the set of ''Undercover Geisha'', getting finger-popped by Lorenzo Lamas. The next, she's shilling for VoughtAlert necklaces and Activia poop yogurt.
:'''Homelander''': Geisha sells VoughtAlert necklaces?
:'''The Legend''': Guess you don't watch your own news channel. The point is, look, there comes a day… I got shoved out, too. Never saw it coming. Did not see that coming, and I fought it like hell. But in the end... bupkis. There is a natural order to things. And the more you fight the inevitable, the more the inevitable just… cunt-punts you. ''[pats Homelander's shoulder]'' Yep.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; gets up]'' You're not scared of me.
:'''The Legend''': No, I'm not scared of you. I… I feel for you, kid. I do. I mean, you're a fucking whackjob. But, you know, there's talent. So… No surprise there. ''[pause]'' So, there you go. Do what you gotta do.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' ...You can go.
:'''The Legend''': I–I can go?
:'''Homelander''': Leave. No words. Just go. Now. Go. ''Now.''
:'''The Legend''': Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
:''[After The Legend leaves the Boys' hideout, Homelander makes a call on his cell phone]''
:'''Operator''': How can I help you, sir? 
:'''Homelander''': I need the tracking coordinates for a VoughtAlert necklace.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Tough skin or not, I can still break your fucking neck!
:'''Bombsight''': Ben, stop. Please.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; lets Bombsight go]'' Goddammit.
:'''Bombsight''': ''[beat]'' I can't give it to you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goldie doesn't even wanna take it.
:'''Bombsight''': Then maybe someday, I'll find someone who will!
:'''Soldier Boy''': You were always gonna fuck it up with Goldie anyway. You could never hold down a girl! It was either a smack needle up your dick or— 
:'''Bombsight''': Having to stand next to you? You were everyone's favorite from the start, especially Clara. Everything they wanted us to be, everything they were working towards, they saw it in you. I fucking hated you for it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No. No, I wasn't everything Clara wanted. I didn't know how to be.
:'''Bombsight''': But you loved her. What wouldn't you give to have her back... forever?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …I really fuckin' hate you.
:'''Bombsight''': No shit.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But we don't have to kill each other. I can take away your immortality... and your powers. You won't have to live forever alone. Then, you and Goldie can spend whatever time you have left like you want.
:'''Bombsight''': Why would you do that for me?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd do it for the V1.
:''[Bombsight hands a case to Soldier Boy, who opens it to find a V1 syringe inside. The Boys hear an explosion from far away and run towards it. Cut to Bombsight looking at the wound near his shoulder.]''
:'''Bombsight''': This is the first time I've seen my blood in... I can't remember.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander finds Soldier Boy with the V1 syringe he received from Bombsight. The Boys and Sister Sage watch them from the nearby woods.]''
:'''Homelander''': Don't. I don't wanna fight you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks down at the syringe]'' You know, Clara used to say the craziest shit. That I was the strongest Supe alive, the ultimate expression of what we could be... but she was wrong. ''[pause]'' She hadn't met you yet.
:''[Soldier Boy offers the syringe to Homelander, who accepts it]''
:'''Butcher''': No.
:'''Sister Sage''': I don't understand. He wasn't supposed to... It's impossible.
:'''Homelander''': But you hate me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I love her more... and this is what she would want.
:''[Homelander lasers his left arm and injects the V1 into his wound. His eyes immediately start flickering and he kneels to the ground in pain. The Boys watch in horror as Homelander screams and shoots powerful lasers into the sky.]''
:'''Butcher''': '''''Run.'''''

==''&quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;'' [5.07]==
:''[A V1-empowered Homelander sits in President Calhoun's chair in the Oval Office. He hears a knock at the door]''
:'''Homelander''': Come in! ''[in a cheerful tone, as Ashley and Calhoun enter]'' Hello, you two. Isn't it a beautiful day?
:'''Calhoun''': ''[nervously]'' You're welcome to use this office as long as you need. 
:'''Homelander''': I know. Let's get right to it! While Oh Father is hard at work on my divine unveiling, I have a few action items I need you to handle.
:'''Ashley''': Of course. Anything, sir.
:'''Homelander''': The Democratic Church of America is to be the ''official'' national religion, based around the one true god: Me. 
:'''Calhoun''': Great idea.
:'''Homelander''': I want every boundary between church and state dissolved. I want troops sent into every sanctuary city that took in Starlighters. Issue an executive order banning abortion. Also, breastfeeding is now mandatory. Babies need their mothers, not fake milk. Actually, outlaw that, too.
:'''Ashley''': Sir? 
:'''Homelander''': ''[intensely] Ban nut milk.'' The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was making you think nuts were milk. ''[snickers after a short silence]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': Those are all, uh, fantastic ideas, sir, um... I'll run them by Congress– 
:'''Homelander''': No, disband it.
:'''Calhoun''': Sorry? 
:'''Homelander''': Disband Congress. It's better for freedom. 
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, I don't really have that authority. 
:'''Homelander''': ''[frowns]'' Ashley, do me a favor. Read Steven's mind. I want to know if he's a true believer. 
:'''Calhoun''': But of... course I am, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific! Then you have nothing to worry about. ''[gets up and steps over to Ashley]'' Do it. 
:''[He rips off her wig, and she gasps and covers her face in shame as &quot;Back Ashley&quot; is revealed]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': ''[revolted]'' What the fuck is that? 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': Don't look!
:'''Homelander''': Don't make me ask again. 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': ''[stammering in fear]'' Sir, I–I... Sir, I...
:'''Ashley''': ''[sighs; steels herself and turns back to Homelander]'' He's terrified of you, sir. He thinks you're just a tiny bit psychotic.
:'''Homelander''': Steven! ''[steps towards Calhoun, glaring intensely]'' Here I am. A living god. ''[rests his hands on Calhoun's shoulders]'' Right before your eyes. And still, your faith wavers? ''[beat; Calhoun is clearly too terrified to answer]'' It's okay. No, I'm not angry. ''[clasps his head gently]'' But I ''am'' disappointed.
:''[He crushes Calhoun's head into a pulp, then wipes the blood off his hands on a sofa. An utterly terrified Ashley stares at Calhoun's body as Homelander sits back down at the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie sees Kimiko suffering from radiation exposure inside a homemade uranium chamber while Butcher and Frenchie watch]''
:'''Hughie''': What the fuck is going on in here?
:'''Kimiko''': I'm okay.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' The second she's ready, we go the next dose, alright?
:'''Hughie''': &quot;Next dose?&quot; Are you kidding?! Look at her! What are you doing?
:'''Butcher''': Plan fuckin' B, my son. If at first you don't succeed, find another hole to fuck. See, Soldier Boy's flashy tіt blast got me thinkin', he–he weren't born with that power. The Ivans gave it to him through a consistent application of scientific methodology.
:'''Frenchie''': They threw an atom bomb worth of radiation at him.
:'''Butcher''': Right. So, usin' the research we nicked from 'em a few donkeys back, me and Frenchie are doin' the same thing to Kimiko. She gets Soldier Boy's power, she tіt-blasts Homelander, bees and fuckin' honey.
:'''Hughie''': So when we kept asking what you two were up to, and you kept saying, &quot;Mind your fuckin' business, cunt,&quot; it was this?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah.
:'''Hughie''': Butcher, this is... the most insane-ass shit I ever heard. In a few weeks, you're gonna somehow do what it took the Russians over a decade?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, 'cause unlike the Ivans, we got us a livin', breathin' supercomputer bunked down in student services.
:'''Hughie''': Sage? All she does is self-medicate and binge [[w:Love Island (American TV series)|''Love Island'']]. This could fucking kill Kimiko. Frenchie…
:'''Frenchie''': No. It's not my wish.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck Butcher. Who cares what he wants?
:''[Kimiko coughs and stumbles out of the uranium chamber]'' 
:'''Kimiko''': Not Butcher. ''[panting heavily]'' Me. It's my call.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Annie''': Oh Father's up to something big at Vought Studios, but we don't know what. Could be a trap.
:'''Frenchie''': Could be.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' You stay here with Kimiko and Sage. We'll bust into the studio, nab the holy twat, stomp on his bollocks till he gives us Homelander's next move. And then I'll do the cunt and we'll call it an honest day's work, yeah?
:'''Hughie''': No. Quit acting like we're going on a milk run. It's over. ''[voice breaking]'' We lost.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' [[w:Victoria Beckham|Posh Spice]] was easily the most shit member of [[w:Spice Girls|the squad]]. Could barely sing or dance. No discernible talent whatsoever. Wasn't even featured on [[w:Wannabe|&quot;Wannabe&quot;]], but did that stop her? No. You look at her now... still married with [[w:David Beckham|Becks]]. Fifteen engagement rings, 32 ''Vogue'' covers, inducted by Prince William into the Order of the bloody British Empire. Even I doubted her move into women's apparel, but her line is a staple at Paris fuckin' Fashion Week. You see, despite her obvious disadvantages–includin' a tragic inability to smile–she never gave up, and we ain't givin' up either.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shakes his head]'' Your fuckin' pep talks.
:'''Frenchie''': Terrible.
:'''Annie''': The worst.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, bollocks. That was a fuckin' knockout.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Alone and depressed, The Deep tosses an aluminum can into the sea. A hammerhead shark appears and [[w:Samuel L. Jackson|speaks to him]]]''
:'''Xander''': Yo! You gonna get that, bro?
:'''The Deep''': Xander! ''[chuckles]'' Hey, what you doing here? So good to see you, man.
:'''Xander''': We wouldn't want a little guppy to get caught in that can, my man. Come on in, grab it. ''[swims in circles]''
:'''The Deep''': I've had such a fucked day, man. You wouldn't believe it, bro.
:'''Xander''': Yeah. Get in the water, man.
:'''The Deep''': No. You're not... You're not listening to me–
:'''Xander''': ''[angrily]'' Ah, shut the fuck up! We know you were responsible for the pipeline genocide. Remember March 15th, motherfucker!
:'''The Deep''': No... No, wait, that–That wasn't me, man!
:'''Xander''': If you step one foot, one fucking stupid-ass simian toe in the water ''ANYWHERE''—an ocean, a stream, a fucking puddle—on God, son, you're dead! We're gonna ''KILL YOU!'' You understand, you dumb motherfucker?! Water is fucking off limits to you! ''YOU ARE '''DEAD''' TO US! [swimming away]'' Bitch-ass!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy sees Homelander standing over a scale model of a Homelander-themed amusement park]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': The fuck is all this?
:'''Homelander''': Hey. HomeLand. Next phase of the reboot. Showing the faithful my boundless love for them. ''[points at a monument of himself]'' That there? The Homelander Mount. We're saying that this is where the angel visited me, and I ascended to godhood.
:'''Soldier Boy''': …Right.
:'''Homelander''': You're gonna love this. ''[waves his hand over a rollercoaster]'' This area here? We're calling it: &quot;Soldier Boy! Father of God!&quot; All the fastest rides are gonna be there, and every night, there's gonna be a ticker tape parade, honoring you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' I'm gonna head down to Bogotá. Figure I'll snort and fuck my way through the banana republics.
:'''Homelander''': Uh... When are you coming back?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Probably not for… ever.
:'''Homelander''': What? Look, if you don't like the park, I mean, forget it. I don't–I don't care about any of it. You want hοοker and blow? I'll get you all the drugs and all the wrinkly old whοres in America.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No, you're not hearing me.
:'''Homelander''': No, you're not hearing ''me.'' I am where I am because you chose me. To help me. So, I want you to have whatever you want.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What I want is to get away.
:'''Homelander''': From what? ''[scoffs]'' Or from who?
:'''Soldier Boy''': This just ain't my bag, kid.
:'''Homelander''': I welded your shield back together, you never use it. I hired you a three-star Michelin chef, all you ever order is meatloaf and chili. I even had L.J. mock up a new super suit for you. 
:''[Homelander pulls out a poster of Soldier Boy wearing an American flag-patterned suit]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, God. See, that's what I'm talking about.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, God? What?!
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't want that. And another thing: I gave you the V1 because of Clara. Because that's what she would've wanted. This was never gonna be a &quot;playing catch on the front lawn&quot;, &quot;fixing up the old Impala&quot; bullshit. You're too weird.
:'''Homelander''': Stop fucking saying that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': And you're no god. No angel came to you. You had a wet dream about some chick with big, juicy tіts. If that makes you a god, then I'm a fucking god every night.
:'''Homelander''': '''I ''AM'' GOD!'''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' Would it help if I said, &quot;It's not you, it's me&quot;?
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs softly]'' If you wanna go, go.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sighs; pats Homelander on the back]'' Good luck, son.
:''[Homelander suddenly grabs Soldier Boy from behind and puts him in a chokehold until he passes out]''
:'''Homelander''': I love you.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mother's Milk''': Help me out here. In the movie, was Homelander God, the [[w:Second Coming|Second Coming]], or Jesus' brother? 'Cause the world-building in there was fuckеd.
:'''Annie''': Does it even matter? I mean, they will believe whatever he tells them. What is the fucking point of saving people if they don't wanna be saved? This is what they want.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[beat]'' Alright. So, back when my Gramps got killed by Soldier Boy, shit got rough. Neighborhood kids laughed, called me soft, shit like that. And then one day, I find this pigeon on the sidewalk, wing busted. He was in bad shape. So, I run inside, grab a shoebox and a first aid kit, and come to start nursin' it. I figure, if I can save just this one life, maybe it might somehow make up for... Anyway, those same fuckin' kids, they found out. And so now, it don't take a genius to go from Marvin Milk to Mother's Milk. &quot;Yo, Mother's Milk, you letting that sky rat suck on your tіttіеs or that dіck?&quot; They were relentless. Right up until the day when that little bird flew outta my house and right over their heads, good as new. And you know what, Annie? Here's the crazy thing: I loved my new name. 'Cause I loved helpin' people. I loved being kind, makin' my family proud. That name was a badge of honor for me. Now, last year, locked up in that detention center, something changed. My heart, it just got scarred over. Like the world had just broken it one too many times. And yeah, it got easier, just being cynical. Checking out. But I also hated myself a lot more. I went from being a mοthеrfuckеr with a heart to just being a mοthеrfuckеr. But you know what? Givin' a shit in a world where nobody gives a shit? It ain't soft. It's hard as hell… and that's the real me. ''[pause]'' And that's the real you, too.

===''&quot;Blood and Bone&quot;'' [5.08]===
:'''Homelander''': It's alright. I'm not here to hurt you.
:'''Ryan''': You mean like last time?
:'''Homelander''': Look at you. No harm done.
:'''Ryan''': How'd you find me?
:'''Homelander''': Crime Analytics caught wind of a young man flying outside Kolvereid. Tends to draw attention.
:'''Ryan''': I don't want your help.
:'''Homelander''': I know. You've made that very clear. But you're also the son of God, and you should not be sleeping in a barn. You can have a whole floor of the Tower. Do what you want with it, come and go as you please.
:'''Ryan''': I don't wanna be anywhere near you.
:'''Homelander''': Everything is different now. I've ascended. I'm immortal.
:'''Ryan''': Then, why do you give a shit about what happens to me?
:'''Homelander''': Because we're family. ''[Ryan scoffs]'' We have the same blood pumping through our veins.
:'''Ryan''': Yeah, well, you've got your shitty racist dad. So you don't need me.
:'''Homelander''': No, Soldier Boy doesn't matter. You and I, that's all that matters. I know you, because I ''am'' you. And you're me.
:'''Ryan''': Dad… Get fuckеd. I am nothing like you. You were already the most powerful person on Earth. And you were a lonely, miserable piece of fucking shit, throwing tantrums when you didn't get what you want. Why the fuck would more power make you any better? It's just going to make you an even more lonely, miserable piece of shit. Scaring people into calling you God doesn't make you God. And deep down, you know that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; tearfully sighs]'' It's okay. You don't know what's going on. It's okay… but you will.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[After M.M. kills Oh Father by blocking his mouth with a metal mouth gag, causing his head to explode and spill blood all around]''
:'''Hughie''': I really need a new job.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''The Deep''': It was all a test. Yes! The universe is rewarding me for my loyalty, just like [[w:Sean Connery|Sean Connery]] rewarded [[w:Kevin Costner|Costner]] at the end of ''[[w:Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves|Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves]]''!
:'''Hughie''': Sweet ''Jesus'', you're a moron.
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander gives his Easter address from the Oval Office and begins reading from a teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': My fellow Americans... Happy Easter. A day commemorating Jesus, who, as we all know, was tortured, stripped of his dignity and killed. And that's all well and good. But you're Americans. You deserve a God who doesn't die. A God who fights back. A God you can believe in. Well, today, I bring you good news. Recently, I was visited by an exquisite angel bearing the gift of revelation. As I bathed in her light, her heavenly lips spilled sweet truth into my ear, and I was awakened to my true purpose. Not just to be the world's greatest hero but to save all humanity. To be... the Second Coming. But in a way, really, I'm the First Coming. America... I am the Lord. Your savior. I am your God. And as such, I'm going to usher this world into a new, golden dawn. An age in which your God moves among you, seen and heard. Your prayers are truly answered when you visit homelander.church. And all I ask for in return… I simply ask that you open your hearts and put your faith in me. Those who accept my truth will be welcomed into a land of milk and honey. For I am your Fa…
:''[Homelander stares blankly at the teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': I am… ''[beat]'' But no matter what I do, some of you people will never accept me into your hearts. Never love me. Never believe in me. And to such heretics, I offer oblivion. And those who seek to destroy me, you will die the most horrible of deaths, as befits your wickedness. My reign will last forever, and when this world is cold and dead, I shall remain... eternal. God of the ashes.
:''[Butcher and Kimiko suddenly break into the Oval Office]''
:'''Butcher''': Evening, cunts. Daddy's home. 
:'''Homelander''': William. ''[pause]'' I was starting to think you weren't going to hold up your end of our deal.
:'''Butcher''': Scorched earth?
:'''Homelander''': A shame about the French one. How's your little science experiment going without him?
:'''Butcher''': Let's find out.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander is now at Butcher's mercy after losing his powers]''
:'''Butcher''': Shock and awe, my son. Blood and fuckin' bone.
:''[Homelander charges toward Butcher, who grabs Homelander's fist with his left hand and punches him three times with the other. Butcher grabs Homelander again and prepares to land another punch.]''
:'''Butcher''': This... is for Frenchie.
:''[Butcher punches Homelander in the face repeatedly, knocking him down to the floor and leaving him cowering in fear]''
:'''Homelander''': Stop! You owe me. All the times I could've killed you and I didn't, I let you live. I'll–I'll give you Vought. ''[Butcher picks up his crowbar]'' I'll give you Vought, alright? You can do whatever you want with it, okay? I'll–I'll... Becca. You want your wife back? I'll have a shape-shifter be her. ''[whimpers]'' Just tell me! I'll fucking suck your dіck! Please! I'll do anything! You want me to eat shit? I'll eat your fucking shit! I'll eat your fucking shit on live TV! ''[pause; Butcher knocks him down against the desk]'' Madelyn, you promised me. It's not real. ''[to Butcher]'' You can't fucking do this. ''You can't fucking do this! '''I am the Homelander!'''''
:'''Butcher''': No. Nah, you ain't nothing. And this... This is for my Becca.
:'''Homelander''': No, no...
:''[Butcher stabs Homelander in the head with the straight end of the crowbar. He lifts it up, breaking Homelander's skull open and spilling his brains all over the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie confronts Butcher at Vought Tower to stop him from releasing the Supe virus. Butcher is looking out the window when Hughie enters the main conference room.]''
:'''Butcher''': Traffic?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. Accident on the bridge. Should have taken the tunnel.
:'''Butcher''': ''[turns around]'' I thought you might try to stop me. But you shouldn't have come alone. You should've brought a fuckin' army.
:'''Hughie''': No. If you were gonna release the virus, you would've done it already.
:'''Butcher''': Unless... I'm waitin' for all the Supe cunts to clock in for the day shift. Not much point shootin' spunk into an empty fuckin' building, now is there?
:'''Hughie''': Okay, well, now I kinda wish I brought an army. Where's the virus, Butcher?
:'''Butcher''': I dumped it in the sprinkler tank. Frenchie's idea, God rest the mad bastard. ''[picks up remote controller]'' All I gotta do is pull this trigger, and it rains kill juice on all 99 floors. Shit will be worldwide within a couple of days.
:'''Hughie''': Why? I mean, we already won.
:'''Butcher''': Won? No, we just gave 'em a black eye. As long as there's Vought, there'll be Supes. And sooner or later, some cunt that's already out there becomes the next Homelander, and you fuckin' know it. No. We need to end the whole bloody notion of Supes, and we need to make it permanent. I mean, you can see it, right? This is it. This is the moment.
:'''Hughie''': You dragged me through fucking hell... for this. For now. To be your... canary. Or your Kessler. Or Lenny. But here's the thing: You don't need me for that. You never did. It's already in you. I can see it. You might have a broken fucking heart, but you have one. You are not a monster, Butcher. It just hurts to be human.
:'''Butcher''': I'm sorry, mate. Superheroes... are done.
:'''Hughie''': ''[pulls out gun]'' I can't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Petit Hughie and his gun. Takes some big bollocks to pull the trigger on a mate.
:'''Hughie''': ''[aims the gun at Butcher]'' I will if I have to.
:'''Butcher''': ''[chuckles]'' Nah. You ain't got the…
:''[Butcher takes the gun from Hughie, punches him and throws him across the room]''
:'''Butcher''': Stay down.
:''[Butcher sees Hughie staring at the remote and rushes to take it before Hughie does. Hughie quickly gets up and trades more blows with Butcher, spitting blood onto the floor after getting punched hard in the gut. Eventually, Butcher gains the upper hand and picks up the remote while Hughie lies helpless on the floor. Before he can pull the remote trigger, he has a hallucination of Lenny lying in Hughie's place. He gets shot in the abdomen by Hughie as he moves his finger away from the trigger. Realizing what he did, Hughie rushes to Butcher's side.]''
:'''Hughie''': I'm sorry. Um... I didn't wanna–I didn't wanna do that. Um... I'm–I'm gonna call an ambulance, okay?
:'''Butcher''': I wouldn't bother. It's alright, Hughie. I gave you no choice. I... I wasn't gonna stop. All the blood... and shite I put you through... and none of it made a blind bit of difference. You–You stayed yourself... no matter what I done. ''[coughs]''
:'''Hughie''': Hey.
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know what to do.
:'''Hughie''': You don't need to do anything.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat; Hughie holds his hand]'' You really are... the spittin' of Lenny.
:''[Butcher slowly loses his grip on Hughie as he dies]'' 
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': ''[last lines; to his and Annie's unborn daughter]'' Take care of your mom, Robin.
==External links==
{{The Boys}}
[[Category:The Boys (TV series) seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>e9si43zclrduxglxwp95l929bz69163</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943897</id>
      <parentid>3943896</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:28:55Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Constantin1995</username>
        <id>3215997</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943897</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="89863" sha1="34xyn9bt8qf7qbypjaw7jzcwnrbylsv" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Season''' [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 1|1]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 2|2]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 3|3]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 4|4]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 5|5]]  [[The Boys (TV series)|Main]]
----
'''''[[w:The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]''''' is an American superhero television series developed by Eric Kripke for [[w:Amazon Prime Video|Amazon Prime Video]]. Based on the comic book of the same name by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson, it follows the eponymous team of vigilantes as they combat superpowered individuals who abuse their abilities.

==''&quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;'' [5.01]==
:''[Homelander meets with Sister Sage after the Flight 37 video gets leaked to the public by Annie]''
:'''Sister Sage''': We knew this would happen sooner or later. We've been ready. In the last 24 hours, we have flooded the zone with so much disinformation, people can't tell their clit from their collarbone. The share price is only down half a point. Besides that, damage is minimal.
:'''Homelander''': ''[points at open book]'' What's this?
:'''Sister Sage''': That is a Gutenberg Bible. Martin Shkreli sold it to me at discount.
:'''Homelander''': You're really on top of the world, huh? Peter Thiel, the Obamas calling you for advice. Everyone loves you. 
:'''Sister Sage''': You can't really think I care.
:'''Homelander''': Maybe you didn't used to.
:'''Sister Sage''': It's all for you. The higher the share price, the happier the billionaires. The more you get to do whatever the fuck you wanna do.
:'''Homelander''': Are you aware that NNC is calling me a murderer? Saying that maybe I even did something to my son?
:'''Sister Sage''': No. Everyone knows that Ryan is... ''[sighs]'' Sorry. That he is at boarding school. In Svalbard. ''[chuckling]'' That story's holding. We're good.
:'''Homelander''': And how–how about you, Sage? Are you… good?
:'''Sister Sage''': I'm fine.
:'''Homelander''': You're not distracted at all? After Thomas Godolkin dumped you? You're not numbing the heartache by stabbing your brain?
:'''Sister Sage''': No.
:'''Homelander''': Then, just tell me. How did Starlight get in the building? ''[beat; exhales]'' I WAS '''HUMILIATED!''' As if people don't hate me enough!
:'''Sister Sage''': Your numbers are north of 96.
:'''Homelander''': Anyone can smile for the pollsters, sure, but millions of them are still Starlighters in their hearts! Where it counts! Have you seen the memes? Have you seen the ''memes'' about me?! ''[brief pause]'' Posting them should be a crime.
:'''Sister Sage''': Yes, but we can't go... ''[notices Homelander glaring at her]'' Oh, you're serious. Uh, sir... ''[chuckles]'' Ongoing conflict is useful to us. It keeps people afraid…
:'''Homelander''': Shut up.
:'''Sister Sage''': …which is exactly what we–
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no, no! NO! You promised me Caesar.
:'''Sister Sage''': He was stabbed by his best friends.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, well, I can relate to that! But I need people to be ''devoted!'' To '''''me!'''''
:'''Sister Sage''': May I speak freely?
:'''Homelander''': Give it a shot.
:'''Sister Sage''': I told you, no matter how much power you amass, it will not make you happy.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You know what's gonna make me happy? I think I'll be happy when Starlight and William Butcher are corpses. I want it leaked that in three days, we are going to execute Hugh Campbell, Milk, and the... French one. That'll draw out Starlight and Butcher, and then I will take care of this once and for all.
:'''Sister Sage''': Consider it done, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, wow. Your skin is so oily, like hugging a McRib.
:'''Annie''': Wait, did you—Did you just... How?!
:'''Kimiko''': Speech therapy and fucking therapy therapy and so much fucking TikTok.
:'''Annie''': Well, you sure sound like you're on TikTok.
:'''Butcher''': Sixteen-hour flight and not a fucking peep.
:'''Kimiko''': 'Cause all you can say is &quot;Oi, oi, oi. Cunt, cunt, cunt&quot;.
:'''Butcher''': I liked her better with her mouth shut.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Annie''': Took you long enough. Slowing down in your old age?
:'''A-Train''': ''[laughs and hugs Annie]'' Fuck you, [[w:Killing of JonBenét Ramsey|JonBenét]].
:'''Kimiko''': You guys are friends?
:'''A-Train''': You talk?
:'''Kimiko''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Annie''': Reggie's been helping us out for a while.
:'''A-Train''': ''[takes drink from Annie]'' Thanks. Where is everybody? ''[pause]'' I heard about the Pittsburgh raid last month. Go Marie Moreau. How's her team doing?
:'''Annie''': Yeah, they're scoring a few wins, but not nearly enough.
:'''A-Train''': So, what's with the 911?
:'''Annie''': Hughie, M.M. and Frenchie are gonna be executed tomorrow, so we need your help to break them out.
:'''A-Train''': Of a Vought prison camp? You're fucking crazy.
:'''Annie''': Listen, you don't have to fight, okay? We just need you to run them to the extraction point. It's easy.
:'''A-Train''': Easy. Right. You know Homelander's gonna be waiting. I can't.
:'''Annie''': We know how to kill him, okay? But we need Frenchie to do it.
:'''A-Train''': Great. Well, good luck with that.
:'''Annie''': Hey, are you gonna keep running forever? I mean, if we're gonna really take him out, we need your help.
:'''A-Train''': So what, I'm just supposed to join this little fucking supergroup?
:'''Annie''': I mean, we are down one asshоlе, so… Yeah, maybe.
:'''A-Train''': ''[pause]'' No.
:'''Annie''': Why not?
:'''A-Train''': I said I can't.
:'''Annie''': I know you're scared…
:'''A-Train''': No, I'm not fucking scared! I got a family to protect. ''[Annie sighs]'' I can't.
:'''Annie''': I get it, I do. Me, too. ''[pause]'' Keep them safe.
:''[Annie and Kimiko watch A-Train run off]''
:'''Kimiko''': We shouldn't have let him go.
:'''Annie''': No. Homelander fuckеd him up. Fuckеd me up, too. We're gonna need an Exit Plan B.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk go over their escape plan]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so we hit the east gate.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Oui'', Petit Hughie, when the guards change shift.
:'''Hughie''': And we go at dawn.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We've been through this.
:'''Hughie''': I know. I just wanna go over it a few more times just so I can get it in my head.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hughie… ''[holds out moonshine jar]'' Take a fuckin' drink, will you?
:'''Hughie''': No, thanks.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shrugs; to Frenchie]'' ''Mon ami?''
:'''Frenchie''': You know I quit.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Leave it up to you to have your shit the tightest you've ever had it in a fuckin' internment camp.
:'''Frenchie''': Yeah, what about you? Have you been eating the fresh produce I smuggle in?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Moonshine's got corn in it. ''[takes a sip of moonshine]''
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Hughie]'' Hey… Don't worry. Annie will be fine. She's strong.
:'''Hughie''': ''[takes liquor bottle from Frenchie]'' Kimiko, too. 
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Y'all mοthеrfuckеrs are trippin'. Y'all don't know what the fuck's going on with them. ''[to Frenchie]'' Hey, you don't even know where Kimiko's at.
:'''Hughie''': What, so you don't think you're gonna see Janine and Monique again? Is that it?
:'''Mother's Milk''': What I know is that they're a shit ton safer without me making a mess out of their lives.
:'''Hughie''': M.M., you're the strongest guy I know. We've been in tougher spots than this.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, I did two tours in the 3/8 in Farah Province. The shit I saw would ''fuck you up''. And even that was ''Emily in Paris'' compared to the shit that we looking at here. And even if we make it outta here, we ain't surviving this fuckin' war. We are dead men walking. Chin-chin, mοthеrfuckеrs.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie is shocked to see all of his prison bunkmates brutally murdered in their bunker. He sees Homelander sitting on his bed reading from his journal.]''
:'''Homelander''': &quot;Well, Annie, today marks two months. It's a little insane how much I miss you. I've been having trouble eating. Every day, I see people giving up, but not me. Because I have you.&quot; It's very, very sweet.
:'''Hughie''': They were innocent.
:'''Homelander''': Oh… ''[looks briefly at one of the corpses]'' Well, I'd hardly call them innocent. They lied to me. Played dumb about your little stash in the wall there. We've known about that for quite some time, but I just wanted to give you a little hope.
:'''Hughie''': You're not the one who gave it to me, asshоlе.
:'''Homelander''': Ooh, I like Internment Camp Hughie. She's zesty.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck you. Do it.
:'''Homelander''': What?
:'''Hughie''': Kill me.
:'''Homelander''': Not until we flush out Butcher and Starlight.
:'''Hughie''': You think they're dumb enough to just walk right into your trap?
:'''Homelander''': Let's not insult each other. We both know they're coming. ''[throws the journal at Hughie's feet]'' Do you remember when we first met?
:'''Hughie''': How could I forget? 
:'''Homelander''': Believe Festival. I tried to cleanse your soul. I remember thinking... ''[sighs]'' &quot;Why him?&quot; What does Starlight see in this gangly simp that reeks of fear and Strawberry Smoothie kids' shampoo? You know, William and Victoria Neuman love you, too. I mean, I get it from your perspective. You're punching up. Good for you. But why are they so hopelessly devoted to such staggering mediocrity? Why would Starlight and Butcher piss away their lives to try and rescue you?
:'''Hughie''': Because I'd do it for them.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher and Kimiko find Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk tied up and gagged by Homelander when they break into the Vought internment camp]''
:'''Hughie''': Butcher?! Oh, fuck.
:'''Homelander''': ''[waves]'' Surprise. Welcome, William. ''[to Kimiko]'' And you. The gang is almost all here. Oh, and uh, ''[looks down at Mother's Milk]'' you never told me that this one's nickname is... Mother's Milk. ''[licks his lips; laughs]'' Okay. So, what's the big plan? What, are you gonna sandbag me with the Godolkin virus? ''[Butcher looks shocked]'' Yes. I know all about it.
:'''Kimiko''': Suck my fat dіck!
:''[Homelander lasers Kimiko in half. The top half of her body falls to the floor.]''
:'''Homelander''': Hey, where's Starlight? Just doesn't feel like a party without my little lightning bug here... ''[pause; stares at Butcher]'' Jesus Christ, William. You've got a viper's nest in there. I'd heard about it, of course. But seeing it for myself, it's uh… it–it's incredible. I mean, it's fucking disgusting of course, but it's–it's beautiful. What you've done to yourself, what you've become… and you did all that for me? ''[pause]'' Now that… ''that'' is devotion. You know, William, I know we're not exactly equals, but I'm compelled to say… you are the only one that's ever challenged me. And there's a part of me that will be sad to see you go.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A-Train gets badly injured while being chased by Homelander, who eventually catches up to him]''
:'''Homelander''': Looks like someone ''can'' catch the A-Train after all. End of the road, buddy boy.
:''[A-Train starts laughing at Homelander as he gets back up]''
:'''Homelander''': What's so funny?
:'''A-Train''': What was I so afraid of? You are… fucking nothing.
:'''Homelander''': Really?
:''[Homelander lifts A-Train and pins him against a tree]''
:'''A-Train''': ''[grunts]'' Really. You're just an empty fucking suit. Take away these powers… and what are you, huh? A pathetic… weak… sniveling fucking loser.
:''[Homelander wraps his hand around A-Train's neck and slowly chokes him. A-Train continues laughing until Homelander snaps his neck, killing him instantly.]''

==''&quot;Teenage Kix&quot;'' [5.02]==
:'''Oh Father''': We fight hellfire with holy fire! We fight with the ballot box! We fight with the ammo box! Matthew 10:34 — &quot;I do not come to bring the peace, but a sword&quot;! You are not here to be blessed, you are here to do war!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Goddammit, A-Train. It didn't need to come to this. I don't know, you left me no choice! I know that my leadership style can be stern, but it was for your own good! I like to think of myself as the big brother that you never had. You remember that girlfriend you had? Uh... Pop... Popfang. Betrayed us both, to William Butcher, no less. Huge mess, your fault. What did I do? ''What did I do?'' I gave you a chance to make things right, I reached out my hand... and you bit it! What did I ever do to deserve that? What, was I too nurturing? Too forgiving? Well, maybe. But dammit, you weren't like the others: Snakes, backstabbers. I could count on you, man. I ''did'' count on you. I loved you... but here we are. Why does this keep happening to me? I guess the strongest men are the most alone. You wouldn't understand. Nobody does.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander releases Soldier Boy from his cryogenic chamber at Vought Tower. Soldier Boy wakes up the next morning in Homelander's bedroom.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no. It's okay. It's okay, I don't wanna hurt you. You're safe, okay? You've been in deep freeze again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, Jesus Christ. For how long?
:'''Homelander''': Almost two years in a CIA black site. I just found out this morning.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You found out this morning?
:'''Homelander''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But that just happens to be in your room? ''[pause]'' Did you fuck me?
:'''Homelander''': ''[legitimately confused]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this some kind of incest thing?
:'''Homelander''': No!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Then, what the fuck is this?
:'''Homelander''': ''[stammers]'' Look, I... I want you to find William Butcher.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Find him yourself.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the people that work for me are limited. And you are the best tracker there is. I just–I need you to find him and report back. Very simple.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You want me… to work for you?
:'''Homelander''': Well, why don't we say &quot;work ''with'' me&quot;? And... I can help you. I can give you a proper comeback.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need you for that.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the whole world does think that you're a Russian spy, so…
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[takes a deep breath]'' Okay. Alright, listen to me. I'm no ass-felching Commie. You got that?!
:'''Homelander''': I know, I know. And listen, I am Vought now. Me. So, the public, they're gonna believe that you are whatever I tell them you are. I can resurrect you. I can give you back what you lost. I can even make you number two in The Seven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Number two? ''[Homelander nods]'' Or how about I finish the job, and blast you to Kingdom Fuck.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, you could try. Who knows, you might even fry the V right out of my blood. Or you might not. But I'm betting that you hate William Butcher more than you hate... me. After all, I'm–I'm not the one that betrayed you, am I?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I tried to kill you. The minute I turn my back, how do I know you won't return the favor?
:'''Homelander''': Look... 
:''[Homelander picks up Soldier Boy's shield and gives it to him]''
:'''Homelander''': You find William Butcher for me… all is forgiven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat; looks at the shield]'' Looks like a fuckin' kindergarten ashtray. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Soldier Boy, ''[points at Calhoun and Ashley]'' this is the President, Vice President of the United States of America. They work for me. Everyone, Soldier Boy is gonna be number two in The Seven once he has located William Butcher and Annie January.
:'''The Deep''': What? Wait–Wait, what, sir? No, sir. I... I can do this. I can bring them in.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, like you did with A-Train? We're going in a new direction, Deep. Competence. ''[to Calhoun]'' Oh, and Steve, Soldier Boy's gonna need a full pardon.
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, he–he was guilty of... you know, treason. ''[pause; Homelander just stares at him]'' Consider it done, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific. And you know what? I'm sure the man's dying for a drink. Uh, Steve, can you make him a…
:'''Soldier Boy''': Manhattan.
:'''Homelander''': Manhattan. Thanks, Steve.
:'''Calhoun''': Of course. Can I get you a glass of milk, sir?
:'''Homelander''': ''[sternly]'' No. Steven… I'll also have a Manhattan.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goddamn. Since when could Supes teabag the President?
:'''Homelander''': Since me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Hughie looking despondent on their way back to the Teenage Kix mansion]''
:'''Butcher''': Oi, fuckin' smile, Hughie. I mean, ain't you a little glad A-Train's dead?
:'''Hughie''': …No, I'm not glad he's dead. A-Train did a lot of horrible things, but he saved our lives, and he died a hero. A real hero. There are a lot of other Supes that don't deserve to die either.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, I know you just done a year in the gulag. You've earned your seat at the table, so... I'll give it to ya straight. You gotta knock this wet, gaping pussy shite on the head, mate. Ain't doin' no one no favours. Especially your girl. I mean, that's why she's givin' you the cold shoulder.
:'''Hughie''': Don't talk to me about Annie. You don't know what's going on with her.
:'''Butcher''': Well, I know that she finally knows the fuckin' score. And she knows that you poncin' about with this Jiminy Cricket, &quot;listen to your heart&quot; bollocks is just gonna get her killed.
:'''Hughie''': Is there any part of you left that's still human? ''[pause]'' You're gonna get Annie killed, not me… but I won't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Noted.
:''[A shield suddenly pierces the windshield of the Boys' truck. Hughie catches the virus vial right as they crash into another vehicle.]''
:'''Hughie''': Fuck!
:'''Kimiko''': Hughie, the vial!
:'''Hughie''': It's good. ''[stares at the shield]'' Wait, is that...?
:''[They see Soldier Boy walking up the street towards them]''
:'''Butcher''': Well, well, well.
:'''Kimiko''': He's dead, right? He's supposed to be dead?
:'''Butcher''': Supposed to be. Mallory put him in ice for a bit.
:'''Hughie''': ''[slowly turns to face Butcher]'' You're telling us this ''now?''
:'''Butcher''': Somebody up there likes us, mate.
:'''Hughie''': In what fucking way?!
:'''Butcher''': Well, we wanted a guinea pig. Who better than Homelander's old man? New plan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Butcher''': Oi. Ain't you supposed to be a giant ice dіldо?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Aren't you supposed to be smart? Renting a truck under the name &quot;Don T. Beakunt.&quot; Same alias when we headed to Herogasm.
:'''Butcher''': Well, oldie, but a goodie.
:''[Soldier Boy sees Hughie and Kimiko get out of the truck and run away]'' 
:'''Butcher''': No, mate. Just you and me.
:''[Soldier Boy shoots Butcher three times, but to no avail. Butcher, still standing, looks down at his chest then looks back up at Soldier Boy.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess it's true. You're one of us now.
:'''Butcher''': Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Then fuckin' beat 'em.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Being super is not gonna save you.
:'''Butcher''': That don't stop us helpin' each other. Homelander's double the cunt now, if that's even possible. He needs doin' more than ever. You still fancy his seat on The Seven, don't ya?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Fuck you! We had a deal! I held up my end of the bargain, and you sold me out. Put me back in a fucking box! And for what? 'Cause I was gonna kill some dumb kid?
:'''Butcher''': That kid is your grandson.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, was it worth it? You feeling good about that call right about now? Where is that fucking brat?
:'''Butcher''': Homelander's the one fuckin' you over, mate. Or did he mention that we've got an uber virus strong enough to kill every fuckin' Supe on the planet?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Bullshit.
:'''Butcher''': God's honest. The things this virus can do... ''Fuckin' diabolical.'' Why d'you think he sent you here instead of coming himself, hmm? You're the sacrificial cunt. Again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess we'll see.
:'''Butcher''': You don't get it, do ya? Me, Homelander, your old crew–Everyone fucks you over. Do you wanna know why? 'Cause you... are a dumb fuckin' twat.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hughie Campbell. How is a useless cock-gobbler like you still alive?
:'''Hughie''': All your jokes are about dudes blowing dudes. You're kind of obsessed!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this the virus he was going on about? The so-called &quot;Supe Killer&quot;? Well, not today, you semen-swilling butt pirate.
:'''Hughie''': What?

==''&quot;Every One of You Sons of Bitches&quot;'' [5.03]==
:''[Homelander has a psychotic breakdown and hallucinates Madelyn Stillwell appearing to him as an angel]''
:'''Homelander''': Madelyn...!
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, my boy! My sweet boy... What is wrong? Why are you unhappy?
:'''Homelander''': My father and my son! Everything, it's all falling apart!
:'''Madelyn''': No! No, it's exactly what needed to happen. Yes, it's been foretold! You're about to ascend. Become immortal. Divine. A true god with the love of the world.
:'''Homelander''': But–
:'''Madelyn''': I know, you think love is weak and human. But who is more loved than Jesus? And why should he have more love than you? You save more people than he does. The one, true god...
:'''Homelander''': Yes... But how? How? Millions of people just hate me...
:'''Madelyn''': Well, then you baptize the unfaithful in their own blood. Rip babies from their mothers' wombs.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': Skin parents in front of their children. Rid the world of the wicked.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': The nonbelievers...
:'''Homelander''': They'll call me a monster...
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, the only ones left will be your faithful. And they will love you in their hearts. They'll cry happy tears at the mere thought of you. You have one last task, my love.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Homelander?
:'''Homelander''': Up here.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What do you– ''[sees Homelander taking a bath]'' What in the fuck? Is that milk?
:'''Homelander''': Better. Breastmilk from the NICU at Mount Sinai.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So, what? You asked me up here so I could watch you swim in tit jizz?
:'''Homelander''': I wanna give you another chance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You wanna give ''me'' another chance?
:'''Homelander''': Yes. Help me find that V1.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd rather fist myself with a handful of razors. Besides, Cleopatra Jones said there's no V1 to find.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, there most certainly is. And I am going to find it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah? What makes you so sure?
:'''Homelander''': ''[smiling]'' An angel told me. It's my destiny.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Just when I thought there was a ceiling to how fuckin' weird you could get.
:'''Homelander''': Yes, yes. Make your jokes. You've been blessed with immortality, and what have you done with it? Drink and fuck yourself numb. You... You are a disappointment. You see... ''[stands up and gets out of the tub]'' I am not gonna waste my immortality. I am gonna take what's rightfully mine. I'm asking you if you want a seat at the table because you're my father. But with or without you... a reckoning is coming.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' You know, all I see is a freak. A freak with a bushel of gray pubes. Try some Just for Men.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher takes Ryan to a pub to discuss his plan to kill Homelander with the Supe virus]''
:'''Butcher''': All you do is get him on the blower and tell him you wanna see him. When he rocks up, you chuck the shit in his face... and that'll be it.
:'''Ryan''': Why me?
:'''Butcher''': 'Cause he won't leave the fortress of cuntitude for anyone else.
:'''Ryan''': So this is what you wanted to talk to me about. Killing my dad.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, mate–
:'''Ryan''': Is that all you think I'm good for?
:'''Butcher''': I ain't gonna treat you like a kid no more, alright? You're done with that. Homelander raped your mum. He's gonna burn everything down, and you are the only one who can stop him. Now... Normally, I don't put no stock in any of that bollocks about destiny, but if anyone's got one, it's you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause; sighs]'' I throw this virus at him... what'll happen to me?
:'''Butcher''': You'll die. I'll be close by and we'll go together. Now... I ain't gonna lie to you. This… this is not what your mum wanted… But it's the only way. And it will be justice.
:'''Ryan''': You're asking me to kill myself?
:'''Butcher''': You wouldn't be the first lad to throw his life away in a war... but you would be the first to save the world doin' it. ''[beat; sighs heavily]'' I'll fetch us a pint.
:''[Later, Butcher returns with a pint of beer]''
:'''Butcher''': Here. Told her you were 30. ''[Ryan chuckles]'' Fuck the leather, fuck the lace, here's to the bird who sits on yer face. ''[takes a long sip of beer]''
:'''Ryan''': Where'd you pick that up?
:'''Butcher''': Me old man.
:'''Ryan''': You two close?
:'''Butcher''': Nah, not really. He was a... a piss artist. Used to lose all his money on the gee-gees–horses–and then, he'd come home, beat the livin' daylights outta Len and me. And then later, laugh about it with his mates. Yeah, he was a right cunt.
:'''Ryan''': Where is he now?
:'''Butcher''': Bottom of the Thames. I put him there, just the other day. Only wish I'd done it sooner, before he caused more... more damage.
:'''Ryan''': Butcher... Do you think that I could ever... That I might turn into my dad?
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know.
:'''Ryan''': ''[sighs]'' My mom... Aunt Grace... the others... All I do is hurt people. I can't be around anyone.
:'''Butcher''': Without us–without Supes–the world is a better, safer place.
:'''Ryan''': ''[beat]'' I'll do it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Edgar ''': You're fighting an unbeatable foe. You know that, right?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Who? Vought?
:'''Edgar''': Please. It's more powerful than Vought. Or Homelander. More powerful than nature or life itself. It's profit and loss; supply and demand; the elegant flow of currency across the globe. We're just cogs in a great machine, and we all have our part to play. Say you kill Soldier Boy, or Homelander, or even release this virus. When superheroes go out of fashion, something else will just take their place. Because corporations must still grow. Money must still be made. The machine must still be fed. That is the way of the world.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Motherfucker. When this is all over... you're aiming to run Vought again, ain't you?
:'''Edgar''': Like I said. We all have our part to play.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[pause]'' If that day ever comes... I have a part to play, too. And that's to put a bullet in your fuckin' skull.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy and Firecracker are on her TruthBomb talkshow set preparing for their interview together]''
:'''Firecracker''': It's an honor to have a great American like yourself on the show. I guess it runs in the family, huh? Homelander's father… Dang.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks at the gun at Firecracker's hip]'' Glock, huh? Never saw the appeal in foreign-made guns.
:'''Firecracker''': Well, this ain't your granddaddy's Glock. This here's a 9mm Gen 5, seven-round capacity with a crisp fuckin' break.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, mine's a much longer barrel. ''[takes out his pistol]'' Battle-proven, all-American Colt 1911 chambered in .45 ACP. ''[cocks pistol]'' That'll blow your fuckin' panties off. Now, that little Glock–That's good for a late-night Harlem stroll, but uh, this here? That's a certified Kraut killer.
:'''Firecracker''': I think you mean an antique.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean a classic. You wanna give it a try? ''[Firecracker examines the pistol]'' Now, some can't handle the kick, but something tells me you'll do just fine.
:''[Cut to Soldier Boy and Firecracker in bed together after having sex]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Whew. Well, I gotta hand it to you. I haven't fuckеd that hard since... since I railed Shari Lewis on the balcony of Studio 54.
:'''Firecracker''': I ain't got no idea who that is.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well... Hey, why the hairless pussy?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[gives Soldier Boy a disgusted look]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean, what's the point of going down there if you're not gonna get a fat face full of fur? Is that how Homelander likes you? Like a baby?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' More like a mother.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But you two have fuckеd, right?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[shakes her head]'' Mm-mm.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Damn. I gotta admit, I was kinda just doing this as petty revenge against the freak.
:'''Firecracker''': That's terrible. Who would do such a thing? And you shouldn't say that about your son.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Ah, he thinks he's better than me.
:'''Firecracker''': He doesn't.
:'''Soldier Boy''': How do you know?
:'''Firecracker''': I don't know much, but I can read people. And the way he looks at you? Shoot. I ain't never seen him look at nobody like that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Uh, that's not exactly a compliment, doll. He is the strangest mοthеrfuckеr I've ever known, and I've had a threesome with Gary Busey.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ryan and Homelander meet up at the now-abandoned VoughtLand building]''
:'''Ryan''': Do you remember when you took me here? Pretended to care about me?
:'''Homelander''': I ''do'' care about you, son. I love you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause]'' I need to ask you–
:'''Homelander''': For my forgiveness? You already have it.
:'''Ryan''': What?
:'''Homelander''': Okay, let me finish. I put too much pressure on you to fill my boots. And–And I realize now that, uh... Well, that–that was impossible. But I do have some pretty exciting news. I am going to live forever now. I'll realize my own legacy. And you... ''[scoffs]'' you're off the hook. You can do whatever–
:'''Ryan''': Did you do it? Did you rapе my mom?
:'''Homelander''': What?! Of course not. Who told you–Did William Butcher tell you that? Your mother and I, we had an affair. A consensual affair between two adults.
:'''Ryan''': Your heart's racing.
:'''Homelander''': Well, yeah, because I'm shocked. And–And frankly, my heart's breaking a little bit that you could think I would do something like that.
:''[Ryan lasers Homelander, leaving a visible wound near his chest]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan... Ryan, stop!
:''[Ryan lunges at Homelander and shoves him against the wall. Homelander ducks below Ryan's fist to avoid getting punched by him.]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan! I don't know where this is coming from, because your mother… ''She'' came on to ''me.''
:''[Ryan punches Homelander twice and tries to laser him again. Homelander quickly dodges him again.]''
:'''Homelander''': ''Ryan!'' Son... ''[moves away to avoid another punch]'' Ryan! Ryan, buddy... Look what came out of it: My son! A blessing! ''[Ryan attacks him again]'' Hey, hey! Stop!
:''[Ryan readies another laser, which gets redirected when Homelander grabs his face. He punches Homelander in the face again, but Homelander gets the upper hand and slams Ryan several times into a box. Homelander wipes blood away from his nose as Ryan whimpers in pain.]''
:'''Homelander''': Oh, Ryan... Dammit. Look at what you made me do. ''[pause; kneels down to restrain Ryan]'' Shh... Shh, shh, shh. Hey... It's okay. My sweet, sweet boy.
:''[Homelander proceeds to punch Ryan repeatedly in the face until he is beaten nearly to death]''

==''&quot;King of Hell&quot;'' [5.04]==
:'''Homelander''': I need you for something.
:'''Firecracker''': You do?
:'''Homelander''': I have received the most wonderful message. I was visited... by an angel. And she foretold my destiny.
:'''Firecracker''': Wow. Well, praise be. And what is it?
:'''Homelander''': God.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, that is wonderful. There is no higher calling than servin' the Lord.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. Not serving the Lord. Being the Lord. I am the Messiah. I'm the savior of the world.
:'''Firecracker''': The... Messiah?
:'''Homelander''': Yes.
:''[Firecracker smiles despite her being clearly disturbed by Homelander's delusions]''
:'''Firecracker''': Um... Congrats.
:'''Homelander''': Thank you. ''[pause; Firecracker giggles nervously]'' I always knew I was special. I knew it. I suffered. I suffered so many hardships, and I... I couldn't understand why, but you... You... You always saw it, didn't you? You knew all along I was special. That is why I have chosen you to spread the word of my coming.
:'''Firecracker''': How?
:'''Homelander''': Well, we control the most powerful media apparatus on Earth. Jesus would kill for our marketing. What do you say?
:'''Firecracker''': ...Well, you know I would do anything for you, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys are hiking through the woods near Fort Harmony]''
:'''Kimiko''': It's weird. No birds or animals. It's like…
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. ''[to Mother's Milk]'' Had to park on the other side of the state, didn't ya?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Well, if the hike's too hard, why don't you try tying your boots, mοthеrfuckеr.
:''[Hughie is shocked to see a heavily decomposed corpse]''
:'''Hughie''': Oh, fuck that.
:'''Butcher''': Eh. Not really my type, son.
:'''Hughie''': Hey, how about showing a little respect?
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, Hughie's right, Butcher. You should take her out to dinner first. ''[chuckles; sighs]'' Let's see here. Based on the decomp, these bodies have been here for a while.
:'''Frenchie''': Something ripped them apart. Whatever killed those Boy Scouts might still stalk these woods.
:'''Butcher''': Let's get a move on, then. Didn't come out here to get bummed by Bigfoot.
:''[...]''
:'''Butcher''': Any sign of Super Cunt?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Could already be inside.
:'''Butcher''': Well, let's find out.
:'''Kimiko''': ''[to Hughie]'' What's wrong?
:'''Hughie''': Annie.
:'''Kimiko''': She'll come back.
:'''Hughie''': No. I almost died, but she made it all about her and she took off. I mean, last year, I got bad-touched by a shape-shifter, and she still found a way to make it about her. She can be such a fucking bitch. ''[pause; sees Kimiko looking at him in shock]'' Uh... Jesus. Sorry, I–I didn't mean for that to come out so harsh.
:''[The Boys see an entire field littered with animal carcasses]''
:'''Butcher''': ''Fuckin' hell.''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck happened here?
:'''Frenchie''': Our V'd-up beast enjoyed an amuse-bouche, perhaps?
:'''Butcher''': Well, explains why we didn't hear no animals.
:'''Kimiko''': I said that ten minutes ago.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys discover more decomposed corpses as they make their way downstairs to the lab inside Fort Harmony]''
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. They've been here a minute, haven't they?
:'''Frenchie''': Decades. Hunters... ''[pause; notices the knives embedded in the corpses]'' Look at their knives. These men, they killed each other. What if there is a monster here, but it's us?
:'''Butcher''': What the fuck are you on about, Frenchie?
:'''Frenchie''': [[w:Toxoplasma gondii|Toxoplasmosis]]. It's a parasite in cat shit. It can infect humans. Makes them react with explosive anger.
:'''Hughie''': You think we ate cat shit?
:'''Frenchie''': Ate? No... If the V1 spilled into the groundwater, it could mutate the plants. Their spores fill us with rage, we murder each other, and ''voilà''. We're plant food for these vines.
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so like [[w:The Last of Us (video game)|''The Last of Us'']]?
:'''Frenchie''': No, that is just [[w:The Walking Dead (comic book)|''The Walking Dead'']] with mushrooms. The dead campers, the animals, these hunters... Surely, you all see how strangely you've been acting.
:'''Kimiko''': Us? I've seen you blow cоcaіnе up your dіckhole.
:'''Frenchie''': Wait... You have a point. The copious amount of drug I've taken for decades has surely altered my brain chemistry. That's why I'm not affected. 
:'''Kimiko''': Guess being a junkie was good for something after all.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Romeo and fuckin' Juliet. You two survive this war, I give you six months tops.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy search the ground floor of Fort Harmony while the Boys are in the basement below looking for the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sniffs]'' Smells like deer piss. The last time I was here, I was fresh off the front lines, still picking Nazi brains out of my hair. And only the best of the best got selected for Dr. Vought's trials.
:'''Homelander''': Hmmph.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Not soft little hog-chompers.
:'''Homelander''': Of course. No, I forgot how tough you were.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hey, I'm not the weirdo who doesn't fuck. I mean, your cock's as useless as your cape. What's the point of being famous if you're not getting your dіck wet?
:'''Homelander''': Oh, my dіck was sopping wet when I pulled it out of Stormfront and wiped it on her fucking chin!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; looks down at the decomposed corpses]'' Ooh, look. More uggos. 
:'''Homelander''': Friends of yours?
:''[They unknowingly set off the motion detector that the Boys set up near the stairs]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Oh, shit. They're right above us.
:'''Butcher''': We best get the fuck outta here. Come on.
:'''Hughie''': Hey. Hey, what about the V1?
:'''Mother's Milk''': If Bombsight has the V1, then it saves us from having to torch it.
:'''Hughie''': What are you talking about? Who's &quot;us&quot;?
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' What? You think the world needs more immortal cunts, do ya?
:'''Hughie''': We need it to save Annie and Kimiko! You've been planning this this whole time, haven't you?!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh. Homelander will hear us.
:'''Hughie''': ''[to Mother's Milk]'' And you, you've just been going along with it again.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We can't take the risk, Hughie. And if she has to be collateral damage so that Homelander dies and my daughter lives, we ain't got no fucking choice!
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, easy for you to say. It won't fucking kill you!
:'''Butcher''': Well, at least he knows when to keep his gob shut and do as he's fuckin' told!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Excuse me?
:'''Frenchie''': No, no, no. We don't have time for this. We need to find a way out now.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Wanna know a little secret, Butcher? I ''cheered'' when I found out that you were dying, 'cause at least we'd finally be done with your miserable ass.
:'''Hughie''': You know, I used to say to these guys, &quot;Don't give up on Butcher. There's good in him fighting to get out.&quot; I was wrong. If there was ''anything'' human in there, it's dead. Underneath that chestful of octo-cocks, you are just a fucking monster.
:'''Butcher''': Well, maybe I like it better that way.
:'''Hughie''': That parasite's not just in you. It ''is'' you. ''You're'' the cancer!
:'''Frenchie''': ''Lower your voices.''
:'''Hughie''': You are just as bad as Homelander, maybe worse. And I'm not gonna let you drag us all down with you.
:'''Butcher''': And whatcha gonna do about it?
:'''Hughie''': I'll fucking kill you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': ''[chuckles]'' Tough guy, my ass.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What?
:'''Homelander''': You, your whole bit. This whole &quot;guts and glory&quot; thing. What a fucking joke. I read your classified file. Your brother won a Silver Star for bravery at [[w:Battle of Anzio|Anzio]], and that's what made you beg your father to buy you a spot in Dr. Vought's trials. Because it killed you to see your brother dripping in all that glory, making you look all the more feeble in comparison.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't know shit about me.
:'''Homelander''': Really? I know that when they tried to inject you with the V, you were so fucking petrified that they had to strap you to the table. And you pissed yourself, crying for your mommy like the whiny, spoiled little rich boy that you are. They gave you the world, and you? You deserve ''nothing.''
:''[Soldier Boy stands by as Homelander walks into a small chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Oh, Christ. What's this shithole now?
:''[Soldier Boy shuts the door while Homelander isn't looking and turns the wheel to lock him inside the chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': What are you doing?!
:''[Soldier Boy bends the wheel with his bare hands and tears it off the door]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, well done. I'll be out of here in 30 seconds!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. Maybe not.
:''[Soldier Boy pulls down a lever to open a radioactive valve. Homelander's face immediately starts blistering from the radiation.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': It's enriched uranium. They'd stick us Supes in there to see if we could survive an atomic bomb. Now, for a normal joe, they'd be dead in minutes. But for you, it's a stomach flu. Good luck, though, getting out of a Supe-proof cell while you're bleeding out of your ass.
:''[Homelander fails to kill Soldier Boy by lasering him. He punches the glass as Soldier Boy walks off.]''
:'''Homelander''': Where are you going?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'm gonna go destroy any V1 that I find, you Triple Crown cock jockey.
:'''Homelander''': Why?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't get it, do you? How much I can't fucking stand you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Homelander trapped inside the uranium chamber]''
:'''Butcher''': ''[laughs]'' Oh, if only the world could see you now. Not so fuckin' super, are ya? You, uh... ''[points at Homelander's face]'' You got a bit of... ''[pause; Homelander coughs]'' Did your dad put you in timeout? Ooh… That's gotta sting, knowin' he'd rather spend eternity all alone than with the likes of you. What's the matter? Cunt got your tongue? Will wonders ever cease? ''[chuckles; lights cigarette]'' Tell me something. If you do get the juice in you, you think that makes you a god, don't ya? Seems like I know you pretty well after all. Which is why I know that even if you had a billion twats garglin' your bollocks and singin' &quot;Hosanna&quot;, you still wouldn't be happy. 'Cause deep down, you're just a weak, thin-skinned, needy little boy. You beat the shit outta your own son. Don't get weaker than that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs weakly while groaning in pain]'' Ryan is alive… because he's strong. 'Cause he's my son. The son of God.
:'''Butcher''': You ain't no god. How's about I go fetch the virus, and then we'll watch you shit your fuckin' spine out?
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You don't have it, do you? The virus.
:'''Butcher''': …Don't I?
:'''Homelander''': No, you don't. You would have used it by now. ''[coughs; laughs hysterically]'' You have no way to stop me, do you? Oh, William. You have no idea what you're up against. You can't intervene. I ''will'' get the V1, and when I do, I'm gonna flay you alive. You, Starlight–All the nonbelievers. You're all gonna ''fuckin' drown'' in your own blood.
:'''Butcher''': I promise you, before I die... I'll fuckin' have you. ''[walks away]''
:'''Homelander''': YOU'RE ALL FUCKING PASTE! I can take what's mine, and that makes this WHOLE FUCKING SHITBALL ''MY BIRTHRIGHT! '''MY DESTINY!'''''

==''&quot;One-Shots&quot;'' [5.05]==
:'''Firecracker''': Next up is a $500 million ad blitz with OOH, e-blasts, print and digital. Ain’t nobody won’t know about the Democratic Church of America… and its chosen prophet.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Prophets are servants.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course, sir. Great point. We’re just trying to ease people into it.
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no. We need to prepare America for my ascension. We must be honest. We must be direct. I like “savior.” Or–Or…
:'''Oh Father''': Lord. Yes, I couldn’t agree more, sir. Religion is not about being meek. We should dominate the seven mountains of society, bring the Kingdom of Heaven to Earth! Amen!
:'''Homelander''': Amen.
:'''Firecracker''': Amen! I love all that!
:'''The Deep''': So fucking dope.
:'''Oh Father''': Easter is just around the corner. How perfect would it be for your second coming to come on the day of Jesus' resurrection?
:'''Homelander''': Mmm… Second coming? Let's be clear: I am not the son of God.
:'''Oh Father''': Well, of course. Many people believe that Jesus is both God incarnate and the son.
:'''Homelander''': Well, that's just confusing. I don't want my church getting involved in all... that.
:'''Firecracker''': Exactly. Besides, if we pull up our timeline, you won't have… ''[picks up a bag with a large book inside]'' this.
:''[Firecracker kneels in front of Homelander, who accepts the book. He takes it out of the bag and sees &quot;The Homelander Bible&quot; with himself embossed on the cover.]''
:'''Oh Father''': We're gonna drag our feet because of a book?
:'''Firecracker''': Not a book. ''The'' book. The Homelander Bible.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause; lifts the book with his hands]'' Heavy.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[quietly]'' What the fuck?
:'''Firecracker''': It's got the Old Testament, the New Testament, and the brand new American Testament, written by A.I. trained on the works of Pat Robertson. See, we need to pass the torch, sir. From Jesus to you. Sir, we don't get more than one chance at a first impression. Are we really gonna rush something this important? We ain't [w:Arby's|Arby's]], after all.
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Firecracker''': We're the [[w:The Cheesecake Factory|Cheesecake Factory]].
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs deeply]'' Okay. We'll do it your way.
:'''Firecracker''': Thank you.
:'''Sister Sage''': You do realize this kind of sudden religious upheaval is likely to generate widespread civil unrest?
:'''Firecracker''': Local law should be able to handle the suburbs, but we could use extra hands in major metros.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, let's recall all Supes stationed overseas. American heroes should be protecting America, not Who-Gives-A-Fuckistan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Firecracker''': We ain't doin' that again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[chuckles]'' That's what you said the last six times.
:'''Firecracker''': No, I really mean it this time.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You seem a little out of it. Did you nut? 'Cause usually, you nut.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' Were you baptized?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah, in front of half of Chestnut Hill. Governor Sproul did the honors. My family kept up appearances, of course. Then, we never set foot in church again.
:'''Firecracker''': I had lunch today with the reverend who baptized me. He's been gettin' heat to switch over to our church. You think Homelander might be open to going easy on him? Just... give him a little more time? I wouldn't ask if it was just anybody, but that man practically raised me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So you didn't nut. You know, this whole Homelander as God shit, it's... it's fucking ridiculous.
:'''Firecracker''': Really? You think so?
:'''Soldier Boy''': If he's the second coming, then what does that make me? Joseph? I mean, talk about the biggest cuck in history. Man trades his best cow to bag some hot-ass virgin, and then God comes and squirts his baby gravy up her meat wallet. Fuck that.
:'''Firecracker''': I guess I've been struggling with where to place Homelander in my heart in relation to Jesus and the Lord.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course I worship Homelander. I mean, he's always been a god to me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Look, I'll tell you this. If there is a God... sure as hell didn't come out of my balls. I gotta go.
:'''Firecracker''': Where you off to?
:'''Soldier Boy''': L.A… ''[snickers]'' I fucking hate L.A.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker is filming her new episode of TruthBomb and starts reading her opening monologue from a teleprompter]''
:'''Firecracker''': Welcome to ''Truthbomb''. Our top story tonight's a personal one. It's the story of my hometown church, Holy Baptist of Daytona. It was the church I grew up in. Sang my hymns from the pews there every Sunday. But that church... That church…
:''[The teleprompter stops scrolling]''
:'''Firecracker''': ''[beat]'' That church... has become a hotbed of Starlighter infestation. And my old pastor, Reverend Greg Dupree, has been infected by Starlight's seditious propaganda. Now... I never told a soul this, but when I was a little girl, the reverend regularly had me over for supper. Alone. ''[pause; chuckles]'' No. Nothing ever happened to me, but... ''[sighs]'' I heard stories about his &quot;Fish Fry Fridays.&quot; And if that ain't code for child groomin', I don't know what is. How much longer are we gonna let these institutional pedo churches diddle our babies? Americans deserve better. They deserve... Homelander. They deserve the Democratic Church of America. ''[starts crying]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Would you like some knee pads?
:'''The Deep''': Sorry, what?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're looking at me like you wanna suck my hog. So I'm asking you if you would like some knee pads.
:'''Homelander''': Go easy on the little guy. He brought me Stan Edgar.
:'''The Deep''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Homelander''': You may leave.
:''[Soldier Boy stays behind with Homelander in the conference room as the rest of The Seven leave]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What crawled up your shithole?
:'''Homelander''': No idea what you mean.
:'''Soldier Boy''': When you're pissy, you tend to make everybody else's lives pissy too. Stan Edgar still stonewalling you?
:'''Homelander''': I've talked to him three times now. Says he has no idea where the V1 is. Heart rate steady as a rock. I'm starting to believe him.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That slippery fuck used to fetch my cоcaіnе. ''[pause]'' You know what? I have an idea. Why don't I take a crack at him? ''[Homelander stares at him]'' What, you don't trust me?
:'''Homelander''': Well, you did lock me in a room with nuclear material and tried to stop me getting the V1, so I'm sure you can understand my hesitance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You could've killed me at Fort Harmony, but you didn't. Maybe I feel like I owe you.
:'''Homelander''': Or maybe you're lying.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. ''[inhales deeply]'' Give me an hour. I'll meet you at Edgar's cell.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hughie''': If you and M.M. still think–
:'''Butcher''': Oh, for fuck's sakes, Hughie. Knock it off with this V1 shite! You're doin' me fuckin' head in! ''[sees his dog Terror eating out of the trash]'' Oi, Terror. Cut it out. Come on. ''[to Hughie]'' Now, listen. If we do find that stuff, we're not makin' any fuckin' vaccines out of it, alright? We're not the department of fuckin' health. We burn that shit before Homelander gets his paws on it, and that's that.
:'''Hughie''': Well, if you wanna kill yourself, knock yourself out, but why do you have to decide for the rest of us?
:'''Butcher''': Oh, 'cause I'm fuckin' right! 'Cause I've always been right! I've been tellin' you lot from the fuckin' start the sky is fallin', and guess what? The sky fuckin' fell.
:'''Hughie''': Well, you kinda helped bring it down.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, don't give me that bollocks. Listen, Homelander thinks he's a fuckin' god. Once he becomes immortal, he's gonna start killin' like one, and we are talkin' millions of people. Now, are you tellin' me you're honestly happy to risk all of that for a life on the run with your girl, knowin' that you could've stopped it? You can live with that, can ya?
:'''Hughie''': What if it was Becca? You'd just let her die?
:'''Butcher''': …I ''did'' let her die.
:'''Hughie''': Look… I know that Homelander comes first. I really do. All I'm asking is that we try. Annie and Kimiko deserve that much.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mister Marathon and Malchemical try to convince Soldier Boy to kill Homelander while he is unconscious]''
:'''Mister Marathon''': Hey, man, we don't have a problem with you. Honest, ''[stutters]'' but–but fuck this fucking guy. You know, he fuckеd my life. Look, if you help us get rid of him, then we all win, and you–you can have The Seven. And I don't even, like, really care if you bring me back or whatever.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need to kill him to get The Seven.
:'''Mister Marathon''': No. Yeah, of course not, but what about all that creepy shit he's doing with that church? I mean, they're rounding up everybody cool. All the hοοkers, the drug dealers.
:'''Malchemical''': They wanna ban pοrn. I mean, they wanna ban fucking abortions!
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay, well, banning abortion would be a big problem for me personally.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Exactly, for all of us. So, if we kill him, we can stop worrying about being cops or gods or asexual weirdos. You know, we can go back to fucking and–and being fucking awesome!
:'''Malchemical''': Look, we know you've got that fucked-up chest blast thing. I mean, I was at Herogasm. I saw it.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Just finish him now. Take away his powers, so we can curb stomp him while we have the chance. 
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' He is a fucking asexual weirdo.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Malchemical''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But as much as it pains me to say this, he's ''my'' fucking asexual weirdo. Nobody fucks my son but me.
:'''Mister Marathon''': What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …That came out wrong.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker sees Homelander sitting on the couch in the Seven common room]''
:'''Firecracker''': Homelander… How was L.A.? Did you catch tonight's ''Truthbomb?''
:'''Homelander''': I did indeed. And it was a real barn-burner. Well done.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[smiles]'' Thank you, sir. That means the world.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' How's sеx with my father? ''[Firecracker's smile disappears]'' Is he good at it? Are you thinking about me when you're making love to him?
:'''Firecracker''': I never meant to cross a line or offend you in...
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Don't fret, little one. I don't care about the sеx, really. But I ''do'' care about your little chats after sеx.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, whatever Soldier Boy told you, I can assure you that I...
:'''Homelander''': You mean your inner turmoil when it comes to me and, uh, Jesus? Are you thinking of Jesus when you're praising me?
:'''Firecracker''': No, you are my one and only savior.
:'''Homelander''': You say that, but your jagged little heart is whirring like a hummingbird. ''[sighs; gets up from the couch]'' You're supposed to worship me, love me and me alone.
:'''Firecracker''': I do.
:'''Homelander''': I believed in you. Turns out, you don't believe in me. ''[pause]'' I need you to collect your things and leave.
:'''Firecracker''': But I ''do'' believe in you. I love you! I am the only one here who ever has! I gave you ''everything!'' I gave you my soul! Everybody else here, they're just... They're just scared of you. Or they want something from you, but I have always loved you for you. Just the strongest, smartest, best man on Earth.
:'''Homelander''': ''[scoffs]'' Man?
:'''Firecracker''': No, no, no, no, no. A god. No. No, ''the'' God. My Lord, that look you used to get when you'd suckle me? I felt like Mother Mary herself. I felt blessed to nourish someone as important as you. ''[pause; Homelander sighs]'' But nothing I ever did was good enough, was it? You cast me out into the cold, which was so much worse than never feeling your warmth in the first place. So all I have been tryin' to do is to get you to see me the way that you used to. Hell, only reason I was with Soldier Boy was that your reflected light is better than no light at all. Please, sir. I love you. We all need love, don't we? Even God.
:''[Homelander reaches his hand out to touch Firecracker's cheek, then kills her by impaling her head on the left wing of an eagle statue]''

==''&quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;'' [5.06]==
:''[Hughie and Annie are laying down on the hood of his car looking at clouds together]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so that one?
:'''Annie''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Hughie''': It’s like a rabbit, but it’s got way too many feet.
:'''Annie''': Really? I see a frog eating a dick. This is definitely in my top five.
:'''Hughie''': Top five what?
:'''Annie''': Things to do with you.
:'''Hughie''':  You’re saying that like… this is the last time we’re gonna get to do this. Hey, listen to me. The guys are gonna find Bombsight, they’ll get the V1. You’re not dying. We will have plenty of time to look for filthy shapes in the clouds.
:'''Annie''': God, I don’t know where it comes from. This… unshakeable hope.
:'''Hughie''': Whenever I’d get upset as a kid, which was a lot… my dad would always say, “You know, son, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react.” And that was infuriating. But then, I spent a year in an internment camp, and I had no control over anything. I’d just lay there at night, just… so fucking angry, hearing my dad’s voice in my head… but then I finally understood what he meant. ‘Cause the only thing I had left was… hope. And it is ''really'' fucking hard to hang on to, but I… I’m trying.
:'''Annie''': I think… you might be low-key the strongest person I know.
:'''Hughie''': I’d prefer high-key… ''[Annie chuckles]'' but thank you.
:'''Annie''': ''[beat; points at the sky]'' Look, it’s–it’s Big Bird eating a dick.
:'''Hughie''': You see an unsettling amount of dicks up there, I’m just saying.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy look around Bombsight's empty house to find the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': You sure this is the right address?
:'''Homelander''': I'm sure.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, there's no sign of Bombsight... or fucking anyone. Maybe Crime Analytics got a bad tip.
:''[Homelander sees a laptop on the table. When he opens it up, a video of him and Stormfront having sex starts playing. He notices Soldier Boy watching along with him and closes the laptop.]'' 
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck was that?
:'''Homelander''': I can explain.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That was Clara. You told me she killed herself.
:'''Homelander''': She did, after Ryan did ''that'' to her. It's his fault.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So then what? You locked her in your apartment like some kind of amputee fuck doll...
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ...and filmed her for kicks?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no! It wasn't like that! I did... I did everything I could to keep her alive, to–to make her happy. ''[pause; Soldier Boy punches him]'' Just listen to me, okay?! It wasn't all like... that. I couldn't let her go. I didn't know how... because I loved her. And so did you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're goddamn right I loved her.
:'''Homelander''': She wouldn't want us fighting over her.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Don't fucking tell me what she would want! You knew her for five minutes; I was with her for decades! 
:'''Homelander''': Hold–Hold on. This–This is a setup. Someone's trying to separate us. This has been plan... Fucking Sage. It's Sage. You see? She's trying to screw with us. ''[Soldier Boy turns around to leave]'' Oh, come on! I can't find the V1 without you!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; turns back around]'' Good. You don't deserve to live forever.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher tries to call Bombsight using one of his old phone numbers, but gets a fax machine instead]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': That a fuckin’ fax machine?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, it’s the last of the numbers she had for him. ''[to Golden Geisha]'' Oi. Twenty-three fuckin' numbers you had for Bombsight, and they’re all fuckin' shite?
:'''Golden Geisha''': Do you know how to delete them? I was telling you the truth. I have no idea where Bombsight is, or how to reach him. So just let me go.
:'''Butcher''': Kimiko, keep an eye on her.
:''[Frenchie joins Butcher and M.M. on their way back to their hideout]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck do we do now?
:'''Butcher''': Fetch us some pliers and put the screws to her. She knows more than she’s lettin’ on.
:'''Frenchie''': Or she doesn’t. I’m sorry, but she’s not that good of an actress.
:''[M.M. and Frenchie draw their weapons when they see Sister Sage inside]''
:'''Sister Sage''': He’s right. ''[sarcastically]'' Ooh, I know. The villain switching sides in the final hour. What a twist, a shock that never happens. But unclench those assholes, fellas. I’m here to help. I’m a free agent now. I came alone. You can shoot me in the heart whenever you like.
:'''Butcher''': That’s a good idea. ''[takes out and cocks his gun]''
:'''Sister Sage''': That would go against our mutual interest.
:'''Butcher''': Which is?
:'''Sister Sage''': Stopping a petulant, laser-eyed narcissist from also becoming immortal. I want him dead as much as you do.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You spent the last couple of years building Homelander up, and now you wanna tear him down? Why the fuck should we trust you?
:'''Sister Sage''': You can’t trust me. Honestly, you shouldn’t, but you will.
:'''Frenchie''': And why would we do that?
:'''Sister Sage''': I know Campbell and Starlight are headed to plant your little virus. You can trace anyone, if you know what to look for. And you baboons, you leave a trail of banana peels wherever you go. I could have stopped you, I could have killed you... but I didn’t.
:'''Butcher''': That virus is gonna wipe out the fuckin’ lot of ya. And you don’t strike me as the suicide type.
:'''Sister Sage''': I will be in my nice, quiet bunker, reading [[w:Ludwig Wittgenstein|Wittgenstein]] in peace. That is, unless that bleached blonde baby gets his hands on V1 and survives. You must have realized by now Granny out there has no clue how to contact Bombsight, but I do. And I can get him here. So... let me help.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': I wanted to say... I'm very sorry about this. I watched every episode of ''Undercover Geisha'' when I was a kid. I loved it, even the parts that were ridiculous racist stereotypes. It meant so much to see someone who looked like me on TV. ''[brief pause]'' We watched with Japanese subtitles. It's how I learned English.
:'''Golden Geisha''': If you're such a big fan, let me go.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Désolé'', but we cannot. Not until we get the V1 that Bombsight possesses.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Wait, that's what you're after? V1? ''[laughs]''
:'''Kimiko''': What–What's so funny?
:'''Golden Geisha''': I'll tell Bombsight to just give it to you. I sure as hell don't want it.
:'''Kimiko''': ...He stole the V1 for you, so you two could be together forever. ''[pause]'' But you didn't take it.
:'''Golden Geisha''': ''[shakes her head]'' I said no... which is why he left. I guess, for him, watching me get old was too painful.
:'''Frenchie''': I'm sorry, I do not understand. Why won't you take it?
:'''Golden Geisha''': To live forever? It'd be torture. ''[scoffs]'' You're both so young. You wouldn't understand.
:'''Kimiko''': Maybe I would.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Summer is only beautiful when you know winter is coming.
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Kimiko]'' Is this how you feel?
:'''Kimiko''': ''[nods]'' Annie and I talked about it. We'd have to... ''[signing]'' We'd have to watch you and Hughie waste away. Neither of us wants to die, but... we don't wanna be vampires either. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Legend leads Homelander inside the Boys' hideout, which is deserted]''
:'''The Legend''': Okay, um... 
:'''Homelander''': No one here.
:'''The Legend''': I grant you, it–it looks like that, yeah. But this–this is their hideout, so I'm sure there's plenty of clues all over here. ''[picks up a receipt]'' Here you go. ''[Homelander sighs]'' Oh, no. Well, this is nothing. But, you know, they have to have left something behind, you know?
:'''Homelander''': ''[looks at the receipt; chuckles]'' Hmmph. It's not nothing.
:'''The Legend''': It's a Taco Bell receipt. 
:'''Homelander''': No, ''this is Sage!'' Taunting me! 
:'''The Legend''': Okay.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs frustratingly; sits on bed]'' This makes no sense. This makes no sense. This makes no sense! ''[chuckles]'' You said I would get the V1. You said I'd be a god. Did I do something wrong? Did I fail you? I did everything you asked me to. I gave my boy up. Please, don't leave me here to just rot. Don't just let me become ''nothing'' like ''him.'' Please…
:'''The Legend''': I gotta assume… The only reason you're saying all this stuff is, you're... You're not gonna let me walk out of here alive, are you? Yeah? Okay. Yeah. ''[pause]'' Alright, look, kid. I've been around a long time and I… This is just how it goes. You know all those old Supes at the home? Every one of them had their moments in the sun and they all thought it was gonna go on forever. And every one of them got shoved out in the end. They all got shoved out. All of them. And I know what I'm talking about; I did the shoving. I mean, look at Goldie. One minute, she's on the set of ''Undercover Geisha'', getting finger-popped by Lorenzo Lamas. The next, she's shilling for VoughtAlert necklaces and Activia poop yogurt.
:'''Homelander''': Geisha sells VoughtAlert necklaces?
:'''The Legend''': Guess you don't watch your own news channel. The point is, look, there comes a day… I got shoved out, too. Never saw it coming. Did not see that coming, and I fought it like hell. But in the end... bupkis. There is a natural order to things. And the more you fight the inevitable, the more the inevitable just… cunt-punts you. ''[pats Homelander's shoulder]'' Yep.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; gets up]'' You're not scared of me.
:'''The Legend''': No, I'm not scared of you. I… I feel for you, kid. I do. I mean, you're a fucking whackjob. But, you know, there's talent. So… No surprise there. ''[pause]'' So, there you go. Do what you gotta do.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' ...You can go.
:'''The Legend''': I–I can go?
:'''Homelander''': Leave. No words. Just go. Now. Go. ''Now.''
:'''The Legend''': Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
:''[After The Legend leaves the Boys' hideout, Homelander makes a call on his cell phone]''
:'''Operator''': How can I help you, sir? 
:'''Homelander''': I need the tracking coordinates for a VoughtAlert necklace.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Tough skin or not, I can still break your fucking neck!
:'''Bombsight''': Ben, stop. Please.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; lets Bombsight go]'' Goddammit.
:'''Bombsight''': ''[beat]'' I can't give it to you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goldie doesn't even wanna take it.
:'''Bombsight''': Then maybe someday, I'll find someone who will!
:'''Soldier Boy''': You were always gonna fuck it up with Goldie anyway. You could never hold down a girl! It was either a smack needle up your dick or— 
:'''Bombsight''': Having to stand next to you? You were everyone's favorite from the start, especially Clara. Everything they wanted us to be, everything they were working towards, they saw it in you. I fucking hated you for it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No. No, I wasn't everything Clara wanted. I didn't know how to be.
:'''Bombsight''': But you loved her. What wouldn't you give to have her back... forever?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …I really fuckin' hate you.
:'''Bombsight''': No shit.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But we don't have to kill each other. I can take away your immortality... and your powers. You won't have to live forever alone. Then, you and Goldie can spend whatever time you have left like you want.
:'''Bombsight''': Why would you do that for me?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd do it for the V1.
:''[Bombsight hands a case to Soldier Boy, who opens it to find a V1 syringe inside. The Boys hear an explosion from far away and run towards it. Cut to Bombsight looking at the wound near his shoulder.]''
:'''Bombsight''': This is the first time I've seen my blood in... I can't remember.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander finds Soldier Boy with the V1 syringe he received from Bombsight. The Boys and Sister Sage watch them from the nearby woods.]''
:'''Homelander''': Don't. I don't wanna fight you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks down at the syringe]'' You know, Clara used to say the craziest shit. That I was the strongest Supe alive, the ultimate expression of what we could be... but she was wrong. ''[pause]'' She hadn't met you yet.
:''[Soldier Boy offers the syringe to Homelander, who accepts it]''
:'''Butcher''': No.
:'''Sister Sage''': I don't understand. He wasn't supposed to... It's impossible.
:'''Homelander''': But you hate me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I love her more... and this is what she would want.
:''[Homelander lasers his left arm and injects the V1 into his wound. His eyes immediately start flickering and he kneels to the ground in pain. The Boys watch in horror as Homelander screams and shoots powerful lasers into the sky.]''
:'''Butcher''': '''''Run.'''''

==''&quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;'' [5.07]==
:''[A V1-empowered Homelander sits in President Calhoun's chair in the Oval Office. He hears a knock at the door]''
:'''Homelander''': Come in! ''[in a cheerful tone, as Ashley and Calhoun enter]'' Hello, you two. Isn't it a beautiful day?
:'''Calhoun''': ''[nervously]'' You're welcome to use this office as long as you need. 
:'''Homelander''': I know. Let's get right to it! While Oh Father is hard at work on my divine unveiling, I have a few action items I need you to handle.
:'''Ashley''': Of course. Anything, sir.
:'''Homelander''': The Democratic Church of America is to be the ''official'' national religion, based around the one true god: Me. 
:'''Calhoun''': Great idea.
:'''Homelander''': I want every boundary between church and state dissolved. I want troops sent into every sanctuary city that took in Starlighters. Issue an executive order banning abortion. Also, breastfeeding is now mandatory. Babies need their mothers, not fake milk. Actually, outlaw that, too.
:'''Ashley''': Sir? 
:'''Homelander''': ''[intensely] Ban nut milk.'' The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was making you think nuts were milk. ''[snickers after a short silence]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': Those are all, uh, fantastic ideas, sir, um... I'll run them by Congress– 
:'''Homelander''': No, disband it.
:'''Calhoun''': Sorry? 
:'''Homelander''': Disband Congress. It's better for freedom. 
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, I don't really have that authority. 
:'''Homelander''': ''[frowns]'' Ashley, do me a favor. Read Steven's mind. I want to know if he's a true believer. 
:'''Calhoun''': But of... course I am, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific! Then you have nothing to worry about. ''[gets up and steps over to Ashley]'' Do it. 
:''[He rips off her wig, and she gasps and covers her face in shame as &quot;Back Ashley&quot; is revealed]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': ''[revolted]'' What the fuck is that? 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': Don't look!
:'''Homelander''': Don't make me ask again. 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': ''[stammering in fear]'' Sir, I–I... Sir, I...
:'''Ashley''': ''[sighs; steels herself and turns back to Homelander]'' He's terrified of you, sir. He thinks you're just a tiny bit psychotic.
:'''Homelander''': Steven! ''[steps towards Calhoun, glaring intensely]'' Here I am. A living god. ''[rests his hands on Calhoun's shoulders]'' Right before your eyes. And still, your faith wavers? ''[beat; Calhoun is clearly too terrified to answer]'' It's okay. No, I'm not angry. ''[clasps his head gently]'' But I ''am'' disappointed.
:''[He crushes Calhoun's head into a pulp, then wipes the blood off his hands on a sofa. An utterly terrified Ashley stares at Calhoun's body as Homelander sits back down at the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie sees Kimiko suffering from radiation exposure inside a homemade uranium chamber while Butcher and Frenchie watch]''
:'''Hughie''': What the fuck is going on in here?
:'''Kimiko''': I'm okay.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' The second she's ready, we go the next dose, alright?
:'''Hughie''': &quot;Next dose?&quot; Are you kidding?! Look at her! What are you doing?
:'''Butcher''': Plan fuckin' B, my son. If at first you don't succeed, find another hole to fuck. See, Soldier Boy's flashy tіt blast got me thinkin', he–he weren't born with that power. The Ivans gave it to him through a consistent application of scientific methodology.
:'''Frenchie''': They threw an atom bomb worth of radiation at him.
:'''Butcher''': Right. So, usin' the research we nicked from 'em a few donkeys back, me and Frenchie are doin' the same thing to Kimiko. She gets Soldier Boy's power, she tіt-blasts Homelander, bees and fuckin' honey.
:'''Hughie''': So when we kept asking what you two were up to, and you kept saying, &quot;Mind your fuckin' business, cunt,&quot; it was this?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah.
:'''Hughie''': Butcher, this is... the most insane-ass shit I ever heard. In a few weeks, you're gonna somehow do what it took the Russians over a decade?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, 'cause unlike the Ivans, we got us a livin', breathin' supercomputer bunked down in student services.
:'''Hughie''': Sage? All she does is self-medicate and binge [[w:Love Island (American TV series)|''Love Island'']]. This could fucking kill Kimiko. Frenchie…
:'''Frenchie''': No. It's not my wish.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck Butcher. Who cares what he wants?
:''[Kimiko coughs and stumbles out of the uranium chamber]'' 
:'''Kimiko''': Not Butcher. ''[panting heavily]'' Me. It's my call.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Annie''': Oh Father's up to something big at Vought Studios, but we don't know what. Could be a trap.
:'''Frenchie''': Could be.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' You stay here with Kimiko and Sage. We'll bust into the studio, nab the holy twat, stomp on his bollocks till he gives us Homelander's next move. And then I'll do the cunt and we'll call it an honest day's work, yeah?
:'''Hughie''': No. Quit acting like we're going on a milk run. It's over. ''[voice breaking]'' We lost.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' [[w:Victoria Beckham|Posh Spice]] was easily the most shit member of [[w:Spice Girls|the squad]]. Could barely sing or dance. No discernible talent whatsoever. Wasn't even featured on [[w:Wannabe|&quot;Wannabe&quot;]], but did that stop her? No. You look at her now... still married with [[w:David Beckham|Becks]]. Fifteen engagement rings, 32 ''Vogue'' covers, inducted by Prince William into the Order of the bloody British Empire. Even I doubted her move into women's apparel, but her line is a staple at Paris fuckin' Fashion Week. You see, despite her obvious disadvantages–includin' a tragic inability to smile–she never gave up, and we ain't givin' up either.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shakes his head]'' Your fuckin' pep talks.
:'''Frenchie''': Terrible.
:'''Annie''': The worst.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, bollocks. That was a fuckin' knockout.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Alone and depressed, The Deep tosses an aluminum can into the sea. A hammerhead shark appears and [[w:Samuel L. Jackson|speaks to him]]]''
:'''Xander''': Yo! You gonna get that, bro?
:'''The Deep''': Xander! ''[chuckles]'' Hey, what you doing here? So good to see you, man.
:'''Xander''': We wouldn't want a little guppy to get caught in that can, my man. Come on in, grab it. ''[swims in circles]''
:'''The Deep''': I've had such a fucked day, man. You wouldn't believe it, bro.
:'''Xander''': Yeah. Get in the water, man.
:'''The Deep''': No. You're not... You're not listening to me–
:'''Xander''': ''[angrily]'' Ah, shut the fuck up! We know you were responsible for the pipeline genocide. Remember March 15th, motherfucker!
:'''The Deep''': No... No, wait, that–That wasn't me, man!
:'''Xander''': If you step one foot, one fucking stupid-ass simian toe in the water ''ANYWHERE''—an ocean, a stream, a fucking puddle—on God, son, you're dead! We're gonna ''KILL YOU!'' You understand, you dumb motherfucker?! Water is fucking off limits to you! ''YOU ARE '''DEAD''' TO US! [swimming away]'' Bitch-ass!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy sees Homelander standing over a scale model of a Homelander-themed amusement park]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': The fuck is all this?
:'''Homelander''': Hey. HomeLand. Next phase of the reboot. Showing the faithful my boundless love for them. ''[points at a monument of himself]'' That there? The Homelander Mount. We're saying that this is where the angel visited me, and I ascended to godhood.
:'''Soldier Boy''': …Right.
:'''Homelander''': You're gonna love this. ''[waves his hand over a rollercoaster]'' This area here? We're calling it: &quot;Soldier Boy! Father of God!&quot; All the fastest rides are gonna be there, and every night, there's gonna be a ticker tape parade, honoring you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' I'm gonna head down to Bogotá. Figure I'll snort and fuck my way through the banana republics.
:'''Homelander''': Uh... When are you coming back?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Probably not for… ever.
:'''Homelander''': What? Look, if you don't like the park, I mean, forget it. I don't–I don't care about any of it. You want hοοker and blow? I'll get you all the drugs and all the wrinkly old whοres in America.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No, you're not hearing me.
:'''Homelander''': No, you're not hearing ''me.'' I am where I am because you chose me. To help me. So, I want you to have whatever you want.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What I want is to get away.
:'''Homelander''': From what? ''[scoffs]'' Or from who?
:'''Soldier Boy''': This just ain't my bag, kid.
:'''Homelander''': I welded your shield back together, you never use it. I hired you a three-star Michelin chef, all you ever order is meatloaf and chili. I even had L.J. mock up a new super suit for you. 
:''[Homelander pulls out a poster of Soldier Boy wearing an American flag-patterned suit]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, God. See, that's what I'm talking about.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, God? What?!
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't want that. And another thing: I gave you the V1 because of Clara. Because that's what she would've wanted. This was never gonna be a &quot;playing catch on the front lawn&quot;, &quot;fixing up the old Impala&quot; bullshit. You're too weird.
:'''Homelander''': Stop fucking saying that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': And you're no god. No angel came to you. You had a wet dream about some chick with big, juicy tіts. If that makes you a god, then I'm a fucking god every night.
:'''Homelander''': '''I ''AM'' GOD!'''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' Would it help if I said, &quot;It's not you, it's me&quot;?
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs softly]'' If you wanna go, go.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sighs; pats Homelander on the back]'' Good luck, son.
:''[Homelander suddenly grabs Soldier Boy from behind and puts him in a chokehold until he passes out]''
:'''Homelander''': I love you.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mother's Milk''': Help me out here. In the movie, was Homelander God, the [[w:Second Coming|Second Coming]], or Jesus' brother? 'Cause the world-building in there was fuckеd.
:'''Annie''': Does it even matter? I mean, they will believe whatever he tells them. What is the fucking point of saving people if they don't wanna be saved? This is what they want.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[beat]'' Alright. So, back when my Gramps got killed by Soldier Boy, shit got rough. Neighborhood kids laughed, called me soft, shit like that. And then one day, I find this pigeon on the sidewalk, wing busted. He was in bad shape. So, I run inside, grab a shoebox and a first aid kit, and come to start nursin' it. I figure, if I can save just this one life, maybe it might somehow make up for... Anyway, those same fuckin' kids, they found out. And so now, it don't take a genius to go from Marvin Milk to Mother's Milk. &quot;Yo, Mother's Milk, you letting that sky rat suck on your tіttіеs or that dіck?&quot; They were relentless. Right up until the day when that little bird flew outta my house and right over their heads, good as new. And you know what, Annie? Here's the crazy thing: I loved my new name. 'Cause I loved helpin' people. I loved being kind, makin' my family proud. That name was a badge of honor for me. Now, last year, locked up in that detention center, something changed. My heart, it just got scarred over. Like the world had just broken it one too many times. And yeah, it got easier, just being cynical. Checking out. But I also hated myself a lot more. I went from being a mοthеrfuckеr with a heart to just being a mοthеrfuckеr. But you know what? Givin' a shit in a world where nobody gives a shit? It ain't soft. It's hard as hell… and that's the real me. ''[pause]'' And that's the real you, too.

==''&quot;Blood and Bone&quot;'' [5.08]==
:'''Homelander''': It's alright. I'm not here to hurt you.
:'''Ryan''': You mean like last time?
:'''Homelander''': Look at you. No harm done.
:'''Ryan''': How'd you find me?
:'''Homelander''': Crime Analytics caught wind of a young man flying outside Kolvereid. Tends to draw attention.
:'''Ryan''': I don't want your help.
:'''Homelander''': I know. You've made that very clear. But you're also the son of God, and you should not be sleeping in a barn. You can have a whole floor of the Tower. Do what you want with it, come and go as you please.
:'''Ryan''': I don't wanna be anywhere near you.
:'''Homelander''': Everything is different now. I've ascended. I'm immortal.
:'''Ryan''': Then, why do you give a shit about what happens to me?
:'''Homelander''': Because we're family. ''[Ryan scoffs]'' We have the same blood pumping through our veins.
:'''Ryan''': Yeah, well, you've got your shitty racist dad. So you don't need me.
:'''Homelander''': No, Soldier Boy doesn't matter. You and I, that's all that matters. I know you, because I ''am'' you. And you're me.
:'''Ryan''': Dad… Get fuckеd. I am nothing like you. You were already the most powerful person on Earth. And you were a lonely, miserable piece of fucking shit, throwing tantrums when you didn't get what you want. Why the fuck would more power make you any better? It's just going to make you an even more lonely, miserable piece of shit. Scaring people into calling you God doesn't make you God. And deep down, you know that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; tearfully sighs]'' It's okay. You don't know what's going on. It's okay… but you will.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[After M.M. kills Oh Father by blocking his mouth with a metal mouth gag, causing his head to explode and spill blood all around]''
:'''Hughie''': I really need a new job.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''The Deep''': It was all a test. Yes! The universe is rewarding me for my loyalty, just like [[w:Sean Connery|Sean Connery]] rewarded [[w:Kevin Costner|Costner]] at the end of ''[[w:Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves|Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves]]''!
:'''Hughie''': Sweet ''Jesus'', you're a moron.
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander gives his Easter address from the Oval Office and begins reading from a teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': My fellow Americans... Happy Easter. A day commemorating Jesus, who, as we all know, was tortured, stripped of his dignity and killed. And that's all well and good. But you're Americans. You deserve a God who doesn't die. A God who fights back. A God you can believe in. Well, today, I bring you good news. Recently, I was visited by an exquisite angel bearing the gift of revelation. As I bathed in her light, her heavenly lips spilled sweet truth into my ear, and I was awakened to my true purpose. Not just to be the world's greatest hero but to save all humanity. To be... the Second Coming. But in a way, really, I'm the First Coming. America... I am the Lord. Your savior. I am your God. And as such, I'm going to usher this world into a new, golden dawn. An age in which your God moves among you, seen and heard. Your prayers are truly answered when you visit homelander.church. And all I ask for in return… I simply ask that you open your hearts and put your faith in me. Those who accept my truth will be welcomed into a land of milk and honey. For I am your Fa…
:''[Homelander stares blankly at the teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': I am… ''[beat]'' But no matter what I do, some of you people will never accept me into your hearts. Never love me. Never believe in me. And to such heretics, I offer oblivion. And those who seek to destroy me, you will die the most horrible of deaths, as befits your wickedness. My reign will last forever, and when this world is cold and dead, I shall remain... eternal. God of the ashes.
:''[Butcher and Kimiko suddenly break into the Oval Office]''
:'''Butcher''': Evening, cunts. Daddy's home. 
:'''Homelander''': William. ''[pause]'' I was starting to think you weren't going to hold up your end of our deal.
:'''Butcher''': Scorched earth?
:'''Homelander''': A shame about the French one. How's your little science experiment going without him?
:'''Butcher''': Let's find out.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander is now at Butcher's mercy after losing his powers]''
:'''Butcher''': Shock and awe, my son. Blood and fuckin' bone.
:''[Homelander charges toward Butcher, who grabs Homelander's fist with his left hand and punches him three times with the other. Butcher grabs Homelander again and prepares to land another punch.]''
:'''Butcher''': This... is for Frenchie.
:''[Butcher punches Homelander in the face repeatedly, knocking him down to the floor and leaving him cowering in fear]''
:'''Homelander''': Stop! You owe me. All the times I could've killed you and I didn't, I let you live. I'll–I'll give you Vought. ''[Butcher picks up his crowbar]'' I'll give you Vought, alright? You can do whatever you want with it, okay? I'll–I'll... Becca. You want your wife back? I'll have a shape-shifter be her. ''[whimpers]'' Just tell me! I'll fucking suck your dіck! Please! I'll do anything! You want me to eat shit? I'll eat your fucking shit! I'll eat your fucking shit on live TV! ''[pause; Butcher knocks him down against the desk]'' Madelyn, you promised me. It's not real. ''[to Butcher]'' You can't fucking do this. ''You can't fucking do this! '''I am the Homelander!'''''
:'''Butcher''': No. Nah, you ain't nothing. And this... This is for my Becca.
:'''Homelander''': No, no...
:''[Butcher stabs Homelander in the head with the straight end of the crowbar. He lifts it up, breaking Homelander's skull open and spilling his brains all over the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie confronts Butcher at Vought Tower to stop him from releasing the Supe virus. Butcher is looking out the window when Hughie enters the main conference room.]''
:'''Butcher''': Traffic?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. Accident on the bridge. Should have taken the tunnel.
:'''Butcher''': ''[turns around]'' I thought you might try to stop me. But you shouldn't have come alone. You should've brought a fuckin' army.
:'''Hughie''': No. If you were gonna release the virus, you would've done it already.
:'''Butcher''': Unless... I'm waitin' for all the Supe cunts to clock in for the day shift. Not much point shootin' spunk into an empty fuckin' building, now is there?
:'''Hughie''': Okay, well, now I kinda wish I brought an army. Where's the virus, Butcher?
:'''Butcher''': I dumped it in the sprinkler tank. Frenchie's idea, God rest the mad bastard. ''[picks up remote controller]'' All I gotta do is pull this trigger, and it rains kill juice on all 99 floors. Shit will be worldwide within a couple of days.
:'''Hughie''': Why? I mean, we already won.
:'''Butcher''': Won? No, we just gave 'em a black eye. As long as there's Vought, there'll be Supes. And sooner or later, some cunt that's already out there becomes the next Homelander, and you fuckin' know it. No. We need to end the whole bloody notion of Supes, and we need to make it permanent. I mean, you can see it, right? This is it. This is the moment.
:'''Hughie''': You dragged me through fucking hell... for this. For now. To be your... canary. Or your Kessler. Or Lenny. But here's the thing: You don't need me for that. You never did. It's already in you. I can see it. You might have a broken fucking heart, but you have one. You are not a monster, Butcher. It just hurts to be human.
:'''Butcher''': I'm sorry, mate. Superheroes... are done.
:'''Hughie''': ''[pulls out gun]'' I can't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Petit Hughie and his gun. Takes some big bollocks to pull the trigger on a mate.
:'''Hughie''': ''[aims the gun at Butcher]'' I will if I have to.
:'''Butcher''': ''[chuckles]'' Nah. You ain't got the…
:''[Butcher takes the gun from Hughie, punches him and throws him across the room]''
:'''Butcher''': Stay down.
:''[Butcher sees Hughie staring at the remote and rushes to take it before Hughie does. Hughie quickly gets up and trades more blows with Butcher, spitting blood onto the floor after getting punched hard in the gut. Eventually, Butcher gains the upper hand and picks up the remote while Hughie lies helpless on the floor. Before he can pull the remote trigger, he has a hallucination of Lenny lying in Hughie's place. He gets shot in the abdomen by Hughie as he moves his finger away from the trigger. Realizing what he did, Hughie rushes to Butcher's side.]''
:'''Hughie''': I'm sorry. Um... I didn't wanna–I didn't wanna do that. Um... I'm–I'm gonna call an ambulance, okay?
:'''Butcher''': I wouldn't bother. It's alright, Hughie. I gave you no choice. I... I wasn't gonna stop. All the blood... and shite I put you through... and none of it made a blind bit of difference. You–You stayed yourself... no matter what I done. ''[coughs]''
:'''Hughie''': Hey.
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know what to do.
:'''Hughie''': You don't need to do anything.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat; Hughie holds his hand]'' You really are... the spittin' of Lenny.
:''[Butcher slowly loses his grip on Hughie as he dies]'' 
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': ''[last lines; to his and Annie's unborn daughter]'' Take care of your mom, Robin.

==External links==
{{The Boys}}
[[Category:The Boys (TV series) seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>34xyn9bt8qf7qbypjaw7jzcwnrbylsv</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943968</id>
      <parentid>3943897</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T14:51:45Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-16389-61</username>
        <id>3302453</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* &quot;Blood and Bone&quot; [5.08] */</comment>
      <origin>3943968</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="92055" sha1="ha8tr867k7knxukuodqdorawf5h24ny" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Season''' [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 1|1]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 2|2]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 3|3]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 4|4]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 5|5]]  [[The Boys (TV series)|Main]]
----
'''''[[w:The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]''''' is an American superhero television series developed by Eric Kripke for [[w:Amazon Prime Video|Amazon Prime Video]]. Based on the comic book of the same name by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson, it follows the eponymous team of vigilantes as they combat superpowered individuals who abuse their abilities.

==''&quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;'' [5.01]==
:''[Homelander meets with Sister Sage after the Flight 37 video gets leaked to the public by Annie]''
:'''Sister Sage''': We knew this would happen sooner or later. We've been ready. In the last 24 hours, we have flooded the zone with so much disinformation, people can't tell their clit from their collarbone. The share price is only down half a point. Besides that, damage is minimal.
:'''Homelander''': ''[points at open book]'' What's this?
:'''Sister Sage''': That is a Gutenberg Bible. Martin Shkreli sold it to me at discount.
:'''Homelander''': You're really on top of the world, huh? Peter Thiel, the Obamas calling you for advice. Everyone loves you. 
:'''Sister Sage''': You can't really think I care.
:'''Homelander''': Maybe you didn't used to.
:'''Sister Sage''': It's all for you. The higher the share price, the happier the billionaires. The more you get to do whatever the fuck you wanna do.
:'''Homelander''': Are you aware that NNC is calling me a murderer? Saying that maybe I even did something to my son?
:'''Sister Sage''': No. Everyone knows that Ryan is... ''[sighs]'' Sorry. That he is at boarding school. In Svalbard. ''[chuckling]'' That story's holding. We're good.
:'''Homelander''': And how–how about you, Sage? Are you… good?
:'''Sister Sage''': I'm fine.
:'''Homelander''': You're not distracted at all? After Thomas Godolkin dumped you? You're not numbing the heartache by stabbing your brain?
:'''Sister Sage''': No.
:'''Homelander''': Then, just tell me. How did Starlight get in the building? ''[beat; exhales]'' I WAS '''HUMILIATED!''' As if people don't hate me enough!
:'''Sister Sage''': Your numbers are north of 96.
:'''Homelander''': Anyone can smile for the pollsters, sure, but millions of them are still Starlighters in their hearts! Where it counts! Have you seen the memes? Have you seen the ''memes'' about me?! ''[brief pause]'' Posting them should be a crime.
:'''Sister Sage''': Yes, but we can't go... ''[notices Homelander glaring at her]'' Oh, you're serious. Uh, sir... ''[chuckles]'' Ongoing conflict is useful to us. It keeps people afraid…
:'''Homelander''': Shut up.
:'''Sister Sage''': …which is exactly what we–
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no, no! NO! You promised me Caesar.
:'''Sister Sage''': He was stabbed by his best friends.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, well, I can relate to that! But I need people to be ''devoted!'' To '''''me!'''''
:'''Sister Sage''': May I speak freely?
:'''Homelander''': Give it a shot.
:'''Sister Sage''': I told you, no matter how much power you amass, it will not make you happy.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You know what's gonna make me happy? I think I'll be happy when Starlight and William Butcher are corpses. I want it leaked that in three days, we are going to execute Hugh Campbell, Milk, and the... French one. That'll draw out Starlight and Butcher, and then I will take care of this once and for all.
:'''Sister Sage''': Consider it done, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, wow. Your skin is so oily, like hugging a McRib.
:'''Annie''': Wait, did you—Did you just... How?!
:'''Kimiko''': Speech therapy and fucking therapy therapy and so much fucking TikTok.
:'''Annie''': Well, you sure sound like you're on TikTok.
:'''Butcher''': Sixteen-hour flight and not a fucking peep.
:'''Kimiko''': 'Cause all you can say is &quot;Oi, oi, oi. Cunt, cunt, cunt&quot;.
:'''Butcher''': I liked her better with her mouth shut.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Annie''': Took you long enough. Slowing down in your old age?
:'''A-Train''': ''[laughs and hugs Annie]'' Fuck you, [[w:Killing of JonBenét Ramsey|JonBenét]].
:'''Kimiko''': You guys are friends?
:'''A-Train''': You talk?
:'''Kimiko''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Annie''': Reggie's been helping us out for a while.
:'''A-Train''': ''[takes drink from Annie]'' Thanks. Where is everybody? ''[pause]'' I heard about the Pittsburgh raid last month. Go Marie Moreau. How's her team doing?
:'''Annie''': Yeah, they're scoring a few wins, but not nearly enough.
:'''A-Train''': So, what's with the 911?
:'''Annie''': Hughie, M.M. and Frenchie are gonna be executed tomorrow, so we need your help to break them out.
:'''A-Train''': Of a Vought prison camp? You're fucking crazy.
:'''Annie''': Listen, you don't have to fight, okay? We just need you to run them to the extraction point. It's easy.
:'''A-Train''': Easy. Right. You know Homelander's gonna be waiting. I can't.
:'''Annie''': We know how to kill him, okay? But we need Frenchie to do it.
:'''A-Train''': Great. Well, good luck with that.
:'''Annie''': Hey, are you gonna keep running forever? I mean, if we're gonna really take him out, we need your help.
:'''A-Train''': So what, I'm just supposed to join this little fucking supergroup?
:'''Annie''': I mean, we are down one asshоlе, so… Yeah, maybe.
:'''A-Train''': ''[pause]'' No.
:'''Annie''': Why not?
:'''A-Train''': I said I can't.
:'''Annie''': I know you're scared…
:'''A-Train''': No, I'm not fucking scared! I got a family to protect. ''[Annie sighs]'' I can't.
:'''Annie''': I get it, I do. Me, too. ''[pause]'' Keep them safe.
:''[Annie and Kimiko watch A-Train run off]''
:'''Kimiko''': We shouldn't have let him go.
:'''Annie''': No. Homelander fuckеd him up. Fuckеd me up, too. We're gonna need an Exit Plan B.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk go over their escape plan]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so we hit the east gate.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Oui'', Petit Hughie, when the guards change shift.
:'''Hughie''': And we go at dawn.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We've been through this.
:'''Hughie''': I know. I just wanna go over it a few more times just so I can get it in my head.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hughie… ''[holds out moonshine jar]'' Take a fuckin' drink, will you?
:'''Hughie''': No, thanks.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shrugs; to Frenchie]'' ''Mon ami?''
:'''Frenchie''': You know I quit.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Leave it up to you to have your shit the tightest you've ever had it in a fuckin' internment camp.
:'''Frenchie''': Yeah, what about you? Have you been eating the fresh produce I smuggle in?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Moonshine's got corn in it. ''[takes a sip of moonshine]''
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Hughie]'' Hey… Don't worry. Annie will be fine. She's strong.
:'''Hughie''': ''[takes liquor bottle from Frenchie]'' Kimiko, too. 
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Y'all mοthеrfuckеrs are trippin'. Y'all don't know what the fuck's going on with them. ''[to Frenchie]'' Hey, you don't even know where Kimiko's at.
:'''Hughie''': What, so you don't think you're gonna see Janine and Monique again? Is that it?
:'''Mother's Milk''': What I know is that they're a shit ton safer without me making a mess out of their lives.
:'''Hughie''': M.M., you're the strongest guy I know. We've been in tougher spots than this.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, I did two tours in the 3/8 in Farah Province. The shit I saw would ''fuck you up''. And even that was ''Emily in Paris'' compared to the shit that we looking at here. And even if we make it outta here, we ain't surviving this fuckin' war. We are dead men walking. Chin-chin, mοthеrfuckеrs.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie is shocked to see all of his prison bunkmates brutally murdered in their bunker. He sees Homelander sitting on his bed reading from his journal.]''
:'''Homelander''': &quot;Well, Annie, today marks two months. It's a little insane how much I miss you. I've been having trouble eating. Every day, I see people giving up, but not me. Because I have you.&quot; It's very, very sweet.
:'''Hughie''': They were innocent.
:'''Homelander''': Oh… ''[looks briefly at one of the corpses]'' Well, I'd hardly call them innocent. They lied to me. Played dumb about your little stash in the wall there. We've known about that for quite some time, but I just wanted to give you a little hope.
:'''Hughie''': You're not the one who gave it to me, asshоlе.
:'''Homelander''': Ooh, I like Internment Camp Hughie. She's zesty.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck you. Do it.
:'''Homelander''': What?
:'''Hughie''': Kill me.
:'''Homelander''': Not until we flush out Butcher and Starlight.
:'''Hughie''': You think they're dumb enough to just walk right into your trap?
:'''Homelander''': Let's not insult each other. We both know they're coming. ''[throws the journal at Hughie's feet]'' Do you remember when we first met?
:'''Hughie''': How could I forget? 
:'''Homelander''': Believe Festival. I tried to cleanse your soul. I remember thinking... ''[sighs]'' &quot;Why him?&quot; What does Starlight see in this gangly simp that reeks of fear and Strawberry Smoothie kids' shampoo? You know, William and Victoria Neuman love you, too. I mean, I get it from your perspective. You're punching up. Good for you. But why are they so hopelessly devoted to such staggering mediocrity? Why would Starlight and Butcher piss away their lives to try and rescue you?
:'''Hughie''': Because I'd do it for them.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher and Kimiko find Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk tied up and gagged by Homelander when they break into the Vought internment camp]''
:'''Hughie''': Butcher?! Oh, fuck.
:'''Homelander''': ''[waves]'' Surprise. Welcome, William. ''[to Kimiko]'' And you. The gang is almost all here. Oh, and uh, ''[looks down at Mother's Milk]'' you never told me that this one's nickname is... Mother's Milk. ''[licks his lips; laughs]'' Okay. So, what's the big plan? What, are you gonna sandbag me with the Godolkin virus? ''[Butcher looks shocked]'' Yes. I know all about it.
:'''Kimiko''': Suck my fat dіck!
:''[Homelander lasers Kimiko in half. The top half of her body falls to the floor.]''
:'''Homelander''': Hey, where's Starlight? Just doesn't feel like a party without my little lightning bug here... ''[pause; stares at Butcher]'' Jesus Christ, William. You've got a viper's nest in there. I'd heard about it, of course. But seeing it for myself, it's uh… it–it's incredible. I mean, it's fucking disgusting of course, but it's–it's beautiful. What you've done to yourself, what you've become… and you did all that for me? ''[pause]'' Now that… ''that'' is devotion. You know, William, I know we're not exactly equals, but I'm compelled to say… you are the only one that's ever challenged me. And there's a part of me that will be sad to see you go.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A-Train gets badly injured while being chased by Homelander, who eventually catches up to him]''
:'''Homelander''': Looks like someone ''can'' catch the A-Train after all. End of the road, buddy boy.
:''[A-Train starts laughing at Homelander as he gets back up]''
:'''Homelander''': What's so funny?
:'''A-Train''': What was I so afraid of? You are… fucking nothing.
:'''Homelander''': Really?
:''[Homelander lifts A-Train and pins him against a tree]''
:'''A-Train''': ''[grunts]'' Really. You're just an empty fucking suit. Take away these powers… and what are you, huh? A pathetic… weak… sniveling fucking loser.
:''[Homelander wraps his hand around A-Train's neck and slowly chokes him. A-Train continues laughing until Homelander snaps his neck, killing him instantly.]''

==''&quot;Teenage Kix&quot;'' [5.02]==
:'''Oh Father''': We fight hellfire with holy fire! We fight with the ballot box! We fight with the ammo box! Matthew 10:34 — &quot;I do not come to bring the peace, but a sword&quot;! You are not here to be blessed, you are here to do war!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Goddammit, A-Train. It didn't need to come to this. I don't know, you left me no choice! I know that my leadership style can be stern, but it was for your own good! I like to think of myself as the big brother that you never had. You remember that girlfriend you had? Uh... Pop... Popfang. Betrayed us both, to William Butcher, no less. Huge mess, your fault. What did I do? ''What did I do?'' I gave you a chance to make things right, I reached out my hand... and you bit it! What did I ever do to deserve that? What, was I too nurturing? Too forgiving? Well, maybe. But dammit, you weren't like the others: Snakes, backstabbers. I could count on you, man. I ''did'' count on you. I loved you... but here we are. Why does this keep happening to me? I guess the strongest men are the most alone. You wouldn't understand. Nobody does.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander releases Soldier Boy from his cryogenic chamber at Vought Tower. Soldier Boy wakes up the next morning in Homelander's bedroom.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no. It's okay. It's okay, I don't wanna hurt you. You're safe, okay? You've been in deep freeze again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, Jesus Christ. For how long?
:'''Homelander''': Almost two years in a CIA black site. I just found out this morning.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You found out this morning?
:'''Homelander''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But that just happens to be in your room? ''[pause]'' Did you fuck me?
:'''Homelander''': ''[legitimately confused]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this some kind of incest thing?
:'''Homelander''': No!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Then, what the fuck is this?
:'''Homelander''': ''[stammers]'' Look, I... I want you to find William Butcher.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Find him yourself.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the people that work for me are limited. And you are the best tracker there is. I just–I need you to find him and report back. Very simple.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You want me… to work for you?
:'''Homelander''': Well, why don't we say &quot;work ''with'' me&quot;? And... I can help you. I can give you a proper comeback.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need you for that.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the whole world does think that you're a Russian spy, so…
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[takes a deep breath]'' Okay. Alright, listen to me. I'm no ass-felching Commie. You got that?!
:'''Homelander''': I know, I know. And listen, I am Vought now. Me. So, the public, they're gonna believe that you are whatever I tell them you are. I can resurrect you. I can give you back what you lost. I can even make you number two in The Seven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Number two? ''[Homelander nods]'' Or how about I finish the job, and blast you to Kingdom Fuck.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, you could try. Who knows, you might even fry the V right out of my blood. Or you might not. But I'm betting that you hate William Butcher more than you hate... me. After all, I'm–I'm not the one that betrayed you, am I?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I tried to kill you. The minute I turn my back, how do I know you won't return the favor?
:'''Homelander''': Look... 
:''[Homelander picks up Soldier Boy's shield and gives it to him]''
:'''Homelander''': You find William Butcher for me… all is forgiven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat; looks at the shield]'' Looks like a fuckin' kindergarten ashtray. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Soldier Boy, ''[points at Calhoun and Ashley]'' this is the President, Vice President of the United States of America. They work for me. Everyone, Soldier Boy is gonna be number two in The Seven once he has located William Butcher and Annie January.
:'''The Deep''': What? Wait–Wait, what, sir? No, sir. I... I can do this. I can bring them in.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, like you did with A-Train? We're going in a new direction, Deep. Competence. ''[to Calhoun]'' Oh, and Steve, Soldier Boy's gonna need a full pardon.
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, he–he was guilty of... you know, treason. ''[pause; Homelander just stares at him]'' Consider it done, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific. And you know what? I'm sure the man's dying for a drink. Uh, Steve, can you make him a…
:'''Soldier Boy''': Manhattan.
:'''Homelander''': Manhattan. Thanks, Steve.
:'''Calhoun''': Of course. Can I get you a glass of milk, sir?
:'''Homelander''': ''[sternly]'' No. Steven… I'll also have a Manhattan.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goddamn. Since when could Supes teabag the President?
:'''Homelander''': Since me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Hughie looking despondent on their way back to the Teenage Kix mansion]''
:'''Butcher''': Oi, fuckin' smile, Hughie. I mean, ain't you a little glad A-Train's dead?
:'''Hughie''': …No, I'm not glad he's dead. A-Train did a lot of horrible things, but he saved our lives, and he died a hero. A real hero. There are a lot of other Supes that don't deserve to die either.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, I know you just done a year in the gulag. You've earned your seat at the table, so... I'll give it to ya straight. You gotta knock this wet, gaping pussy shite on the head, mate. Ain't doin' no one no favours. Especially your girl. I mean, that's why she's givin' you the cold shoulder.
:'''Hughie''': Don't talk to me about Annie. You don't know what's going on with her.
:'''Butcher''': Well, I know that she finally knows the fuckin' score. And she knows that you poncin' about with this Jiminy Cricket, &quot;listen to your heart&quot; bollocks is just gonna get her killed.
:'''Hughie''': Is there any part of you left that's still human? ''[pause]'' You're gonna get Annie killed, not me… but I won't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Noted.
:''[A shield suddenly pierces the windshield of the Boys' truck. Hughie catches the virus vial right as they crash into another vehicle.]''
:'''Hughie''': Fuck!
:'''Kimiko''': Hughie, the vial!
:'''Hughie''': It's good. ''[stares at the shield]'' Wait, is that...?
:''[They see Soldier Boy walking up the street towards them]''
:'''Butcher''': Well, well, well.
:'''Kimiko''': He's dead, right? He's supposed to be dead?
:'''Butcher''': Supposed to be. Mallory put him in ice for a bit.
:'''Hughie''': ''[slowly turns to face Butcher]'' You're telling us this ''now?''
:'''Butcher''': Somebody up there likes us, mate.
:'''Hughie''': In what fucking way?!
:'''Butcher''': Well, we wanted a guinea pig. Who better than Homelander's old man? New plan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Butcher''': Oi. Ain't you supposed to be a giant ice dіldо?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Aren't you supposed to be smart? Renting a truck under the name &quot;Don T. Beakunt.&quot; Same alias when we headed to Herogasm.
:'''Butcher''': Well, oldie, but a goodie.
:''[Soldier Boy sees Hughie and Kimiko get out of the truck and run away]'' 
:'''Butcher''': No, mate. Just you and me.
:''[Soldier Boy shoots Butcher three times, but to no avail. Butcher, still standing, looks down at his chest then looks back up at Soldier Boy.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess it's true. You're one of us now.
:'''Butcher''': Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Then fuckin' beat 'em.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Being super is not gonna save you.
:'''Butcher''': That don't stop us helpin' each other. Homelander's double the cunt now, if that's even possible. He needs doin' more than ever. You still fancy his seat on The Seven, don't ya?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Fuck you! We had a deal! I held up my end of the bargain, and you sold me out. Put me back in a fucking box! And for what? 'Cause I was gonna kill some dumb kid?
:'''Butcher''': That kid is your grandson.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, was it worth it? You feeling good about that call right about now? Where is that fucking brat?
:'''Butcher''': Homelander's the one fuckin' you over, mate. Or did he mention that we've got an uber virus strong enough to kill every fuckin' Supe on the planet?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Bullshit.
:'''Butcher''': God's honest. The things this virus can do... ''Fuckin' diabolical.'' Why d'you think he sent you here instead of coming himself, hmm? You're the sacrificial cunt. Again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess we'll see.
:'''Butcher''': You don't get it, do ya? Me, Homelander, your old crew–Everyone fucks you over. Do you wanna know why? 'Cause you... are a dumb fuckin' twat.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hughie Campbell. How is a useless cock-gobbler like you still alive?
:'''Hughie''': All your jokes are about dudes blowing dudes. You're kind of obsessed!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this the virus he was going on about? The so-called &quot;Supe Killer&quot;? Well, not today, you semen-swilling butt pirate.
:'''Hughie''': What?

==''&quot;Every One of You Sons of Bitches&quot;'' [5.03]==
:''[Homelander has a psychotic breakdown and hallucinates Madelyn Stillwell appearing to him as an angel]''
:'''Homelander''': Madelyn...!
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, my boy! My sweet boy... What is wrong? Why are you unhappy?
:'''Homelander''': My father and my son! Everything, it's all falling apart!
:'''Madelyn''': No! No, it's exactly what needed to happen. Yes, it's been foretold! You're about to ascend. Become immortal. Divine. A true god with the love of the world.
:'''Homelander''': But–
:'''Madelyn''': I know, you think love is weak and human. But who is more loved than Jesus? And why should he have more love than you? You save more people than he does. The one, true god...
:'''Homelander''': Yes... But how? How? Millions of people just hate me...
:'''Madelyn''': Well, then you baptize the unfaithful in their own blood. Rip babies from their mothers' wombs.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': Skin parents in front of their children. Rid the world of the wicked.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': The nonbelievers...
:'''Homelander''': They'll call me a monster...
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, the only ones left will be your faithful. And they will love you in their hearts. They'll cry happy tears at the mere thought of you. You have one last task, my love.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Homelander?
:'''Homelander''': Up here.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What do you– ''[sees Homelander taking a bath]'' What in the fuck? Is that milk?
:'''Homelander''': Better. Breastmilk from the NICU at Mount Sinai.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So, what? You asked me up here so I could watch you swim in tit jizz?
:'''Homelander''': I wanna give you another chance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You wanna give ''me'' another chance?
:'''Homelander''': Yes. Help me find that V1.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd rather fist myself with a handful of razors. Besides, Cleopatra Jones said there's no V1 to find.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, there most certainly is. And I am going to find it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah? What makes you so sure?
:'''Homelander''': ''[smiling]'' An angel told me. It's my destiny.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Just when I thought there was a ceiling to how fuckin' weird you could get.
:'''Homelander''': Yes, yes. Make your jokes. You've been blessed with immortality, and what have you done with it? Drink and fuck yourself numb. You... You are a disappointment. You see... ''[stands up and gets out of the tub]'' I am not gonna waste my immortality. I am gonna take what's rightfully mine. I'm asking you if you want a seat at the table because you're my father. But with or without you... a reckoning is coming.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' You know, all I see is a freak. A freak with a bushel of gray pubes. Try some Just for Men.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher takes Ryan to a pub to discuss his plan to kill Homelander with the Supe virus]''
:'''Butcher''': All you do is get him on the blower and tell him you wanna see him. When he rocks up, you chuck the shit in his face... and that'll be it.
:'''Ryan''': Why me?
:'''Butcher''': 'Cause he won't leave the fortress of cuntitude for anyone else.
:'''Ryan''': So this is what you wanted to talk to me about. Killing my dad.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, mate–
:'''Ryan''': Is that all you think I'm good for?
:'''Butcher''': I ain't gonna treat you like a kid no more, alright? You're done with that. Homelander raped your mum. He's gonna burn everything down, and you are the only one who can stop him. Now... Normally, I don't put no stock in any of that bollocks about destiny, but if anyone's got one, it's you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause; sighs]'' I throw this virus at him... what'll happen to me?
:'''Butcher''': You'll die. I'll be close by and we'll go together. Now... I ain't gonna lie to you. This… this is not what your mum wanted… But it's the only way. And it will be justice.
:'''Ryan''': You're asking me to kill myself?
:'''Butcher''': You wouldn't be the first lad to throw his life away in a war... but you would be the first to save the world doin' it. ''[beat; sighs heavily]'' I'll fetch us a pint.
:''[Later, Butcher returns with a pint of beer]''
:'''Butcher''': Here. Told her you were 30. ''[Ryan chuckles]'' Fuck the leather, fuck the lace, here's to the bird who sits on yer face. ''[takes a long sip of beer]''
:'''Ryan''': Where'd you pick that up?
:'''Butcher''': Me old man.
:'''Ryan''': You two close?
:'''Butcher''': Nah, not really. He was a... a piss artist. Used to lose all his money on the gee-gees–horses–and then, he'd come home, beat the livin' daylights outta Len and me. And then later, laugh about it with his mates. Yeah, he was a right cunt.
:'''Ryan''': Where is he now?
:'''Butcher''': Bottom of the Thames. I put him there, just the other day. Only wish I'd done it sooner, before he caused more... more damage.
:'''Ryan''': Butcher... Do you think that I could ever... That I might turn into my dad?
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know.
:'''Ryan''': ''[sighs]'' My mom... Aunt Grace... the others... All I do is hurt people. I can't be around anyone.
:'''Butcher''': Without us–without Supes–the world is a better, safer place.
:'''Ryan''': ''[beat]'' I'll do it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Edgar ''': You're fighting an unbeatable foe. You know that, right?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Who? Vought?
:'''Edgar''': Please. It's more powerful than Vought. Or Homelander. More powerful than nature or life itself. It's profit and loss; supply and demand; the elegant flow of currency across the globe. We're just cogs in a great machine, and we all have our part to play. Say you kill Soldier Boy, or Homelander, or even release this virus. When superheroes go out of fashion, something else will just take their place. Because corporations must still grow. Money must still be made. The machine must still be fed. That is the way of the world.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Motherfucker. When this is all over... you're aiming to run Vought again, ain't you?
:'''Edgar''': Like I said. We all have our part to play.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[pause]'' If that day ever comes... I have a part to play, too. And that's to put a bullet in your fuckin' skull.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy and Firecracker are on her TruthBomb talkshow set preparing for their interview together]''
:'''Firecracker''': It's an honor to have a great American like yourself on the show. I guess it runs in the family, huh? Homelander's father… Dang.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks at the gun at Firecracker's hip]'' Glock, huh? Never saw the appeal in foreign-made guns.
:'''Firecracker''': Well, this ain't your granddaddy's Glock. This here's a 9mm Gen 5, seven-round capacity with a crisp fuckin' break.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, mine's a much longer barrel. ''[takes out his pistol]'' Battle-proven, all-American Colt 1911 chambered in .45 ACP. ''[cocks pistol]'' That'll blow your fuckin' panties off. Now, that little Glock–That's good for a late-night Harlem stroll, but uh, this here? That's a certified Kraut killer.
:'''Firecracker''': I think you mean an antique.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean a classic. You wanna give it a try? ''[Firecracker examines the pistol]'' Now, some can't handle the kick, but something tells me you'll do just fine.
:''[Cut to Soldier Boy and Firecracker in bed together after having sex]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Whew. Well, I gotta hand it to you. I haven't fuckеd that hard since... since I railed Shari Lewis on the balcony of Studio 54.
:'''Firecracker''': I ain't got no idea who that is.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well... Hey, why the hairless pussy?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[gives Soldier Boy a disgusted look]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean, what's the point of going down there if you're not gonna get a fat face full of fur? Is that how Homelander likes you? Like a baby?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' More like a mother.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But you two have fuckеd, right?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[shakes her head]'' Mm-mm.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Damn. I gotta admit, I was kinda just doing this as petty revenge against the freak.
:'''Firecracker''': That's terrible. Who would do such a thing? And you shouldn't say that about your son.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Ah, he thinks he's better than me.
:'''Firecracker''': He doesn't.
:'''Soldier Boy''': How do you know?
:'''Firecracker''': I don't know much, but I can read people. And the way he looks at you? Shoot. I ain't never seen him look at nobody like that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Uh, that's not exactly a compliment, doll. He is the strangest mοthеrfuckеr I've ever known, and I've had a threesome with Gary Busey.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ryan and Homelander meet up at the now-abandoned VoughtLand building]''
:'''Ryan''': Do you remember when you took me here? Pretended to care about me?
:'''Homelander''': I ''do'' care about you, son. I love you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause]'' I need to ask you–
:'''Homelander''': For my forgiveness? You already have it.
:'''Ryan''': What?
:'''Homelander''': Okay, let me finish. I put too much pressure on you to fill my boots. And–And I realize now that, uh... Well, that–that was impossible. But I do have some pretty exciting news. I am going to live forever now. I'll realize my own legacy. And you... ''[scoffs]'' you're off the hook. You can do whatever–
:'''Ryan''': Did you do it? Did you rapе my mom?
:'''Homelander''': What?! Of course not. Who told you–Did William Butcher tell you that? Your mother and I, we had an affair. A consensual affair between two adults.
:'''Ryan''': Your heart's racing.
:'''Homelander''': Well, yeah, because I'm shocked. And–And frankly, my heart's breaking a little bit that you could think I would do something like that.
:''[Ryan lasers Homelander, leaving a visible wound near his chest]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan... Ryan, stop!
:''[Ryan lunges at Homelander and shoves him against the wall. Homelander ducks below Ryan's fist to avoid getting punched by him.]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan! I don't know where this is coming from, because your mother… ''She'' came on to ''me.''
:''[Ryan punches Homelander twice and tries to laser him again. Homelander quickly dodges him again.]''
:'''Homelander''': ''Ryan!'' Son... ''[moves away to avoid another punch]'' Ryan! Ryan, buddy... Look what came out of it: My son! A blessing! ''[Ryan attacks him again]'' Hey, hey! Stop!
:''[Ryan readies another laser, which gets redirected when Homelander grabs his face. He punches Homelander in the face again, but Homelander gets the upper hand and slams Ryan several times into a box. Homelander wipes blood away from his nose as Ryan whimpers in pain.]''
:'''Homelander''': Oh, Ryan... Dammit. Look at what you made me do. ''[pause; kneels down to restrain Ryan]'' Shh... Shh, shh, shh. Hey... It's okay. My sweet, sweet boy.
:''[Homelander proceeds to punch Ryan repeatedly in the face until he is beaten nearly to death]''

==''&quot;King of Hell&quot;'' [5.04]==
:'''Homelander''': I need you for something.
:'''Firecracker''': You do?
:'''Homelander''': I have received the most wonderful message. I was visited... by an angel. And she foretold my destiny.
:'''Firecracker''': Wow. Well, praise be. And what is it?
:'''Homelander''': God.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, that is wonderful. There is no higher calling than servin' the Lord.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. Not serving the Lord. Being the Lord. I am the Messiah. I'm the savior of the world.
:'''Firecracker''': The... Messiah?
:'''Homelander''': Yes.
:''[Firecracker smiles despite her being clearly disturbed by Homelander's delusions]''
:'''Firecracker''': Um... Congrats.
:'''Homelander''': Thank you. ''[pause; Firecracker giggles nervously]'' I always knew I was special. I knew it. I suffered. I suffered so many hardships, and I... I couldn't understand why, but you... You... You always saw it, didn't you? You knew all along I was special. That is why I have chosen you to spread the word of my coming.
:'''Firecracker''': How?
:'''Homelander''': Well, we control the most powerful media apparatus on Earth. Jesus would kill for our marketing. What do you say?
:'''Firecracker''': ...Well, you know I would do anything for you, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys are hiking through the woods near Fort Harmony]''
:'''Kimiko''': It's weird. No birds or animals. It's like…
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. ''[to Mother's Milk]'' Had to park on the other side of the state, didn't ya?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Well, if the hike's too hard, why don't you try tying your boots, mοthеrfuckеr.
:''[Hughie is shocked to see a heavily decomposed corpse]''
:'''Hughie''': Oh, fuck that.
:'''Butcher''': Eh. Not really my type, son.
:'''Hughie''': Hey, how about showing a little respect?
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, Hughie's right, Butcher. You should take her out to dinner first. ''[chuckles; sighs]'' Let's see here. Based on the decomp, these bodies have been here for a while.
:'''Frenchie''': Something ripped them apart. Whatever killed those Boy Scouts might still stalk these woods.
:'''Butcher''': Let's get a move on, then. Didn't come out here to get bummed by Bigfoot.
:''[...]''
:'''Butcher''': Any sign of Super Cunt?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Could already be inside.
:'''Butcher''': Well, let's find out.
:'''Kimiko''': ''[to Hughie]'' What's wrong?
:'''Hughie''': Annie.
:'''Kimiko''': She'll come back.
:'''Hughie''': No. I almost died, but she made it all about her and she took off. I mean, last year, I got bad-touched by a shape-shifter, and she still found a way to make it about her. She can be such a fucking bitch. ''[pause; sees Kimiko looking at him in shock]'' Uh... Jesus. Sorry, I–I didn't mean for that to come out so harsh.
:''[The Boys see an entire field littered with animal carcasses]''
:'''Butcher''': ''Fuckin' hell.''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck happened here?
:'''Frenchie''': Our V'd-up beast enjoyed an amuse-bouche, perhaps?
:'''Butcher''': Well, explains why we didn't hear no animals.
:'''Kimiko''': I said that ten minutes ago.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys discover more decomposed corpses as they make their way downstairs to the lab inside Fort Harmony]''
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. They've been here a minute, haven't they?
:'''Frenchie''': Decades. Hunters... ''[pause; notices the knives embedded in the corpses]'' Look at their knives. These men, they killed each other. What if there is a monster here, but it's us?
:'''Butcher''': What the fuck are you on about, Frenchie?
:'''Frenchie''': [[w:Toxoplasma gondii|Toxoplasmosis]]. It's a parasite in cat shit. It can infect humans. Makes them react with explosive anger.
:'''Hughie''': You think we ate cat shit?
:'''Frenchie''': Ate? No... If the V1 spilled into the groundwater, it could mutate the plants. Their spores fill us with rage, we murder each other, and ''voilà''. We're plant food for these vines.
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so like [[w:The Last of Us (video game)|''The Last of Us'']]?
:'''Frenchie''': No, that is just [[w:The Walking Dead (comic book)|''The Walking Dead'']] with mushrooms. The dead campers, the animals, these hunters... Surely, you all see how strangely you've been acting.
:'''Kimiko''': Us? I've seen you blow cоcaіnе up your dіckhole.
:'''Frenchie''': Wait... You have a point. The copious amount of drug I've taken for decades has surely altered my brain chemistry. That's why I'm not affected. 
:'''Kimiko''': Guess being a junkie was good for something after all.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Romeo and fuckin' Juliet. You two survive this war, I give you six months tops.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy search the ground floor of Fort Harmony while the Boys are in the basement below looking for the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sniffs]'' Smells like deer piss. The last time I was here, I was fresh off the front lines, still picking Nazi brains out of my hair. And only the best of the best got selected for Dr. Vought's trials.
:'''Homelander''': Hmmph.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Not soft little hog-chompers.
:'''Homelander''': Of course. No, I forgot how tough you were.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hey, I'm not the weirdo who doesn't fuck. I mean, your cock's as useless as your cape. What's the point of being famous if you're not getting your dіck wet?
:'''Homelander''': Oh, my dіck was sopping wet when I pulled it out of Stormfront and wiped it on her fucking chin!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; looks down at the decomposed corpses]'' Ooh, look. More uggos. 
:'''Homelander''': Friends of yours?
:''[They unknowingly set off the motion detector that the Boys set up near the stairs]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Oh, shit. They're right above us.
:'''Butcher''': We best get the fuck outta here. Come on.
:'''Hughie''': Hey. Hey, what about the V1?
:'''Mother's Milk''': If Bombsight has the V1, then it saves us from having to torch it.
:'''Hughie''': What are you talking about? Who's &quot;us&quot;?
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' What? You think the world needs more immortal cunts, do ya?
:'''Hughie''': We need it to save Annie and Kimiko! You've been planning this this whole time, haven't you?!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh. Homelander will hear us.
:'''Hughie''': ''[to Mother's Milk]'' And you, you've just been going along with it again.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We can't take the risk, Hughie. And if she has to be collateral damage so that Homelander dies and my daughter lives, we ain't got no fucking choice!
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, easy for you to say. It won't fucking kill you!
:'''Butcher''': Well, at least he knows when to keep his gob shut and do as he's fuckin' told!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Excuse me?
:'''Frenchie''': No, no, no. We don't have time for this. We need to find a way out now.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Wanna know a little secret, Butcher? I ''cheered'' when I found out that you were dying, 'cause at least we'd finally be done with your miserable ass.
:'''Hughie''': You know, I used to say to these guys, &quot;Don't give up on Butcher. There's good in him fighting to get out.&quot; I was wrong. If there was ''anything'' human in there, it's dead. Underneath that chestful of octo-cocks, you are just a fucking monster.
:'''Butcher''': Well, maybe I like it better that way.
:'''Hughie''': That parasite's not just in you. It ''is'' you. ''You're'' the cancer!
:'''Frenchie''': ''Lower your voices.''
:'''Hughie''': You are just as bad as Homelander, maybe worse. And I'm not gonna let you drag us all down with you.
:'''Butcher''': And whatcha gonna do about it?
:'''Hughie''': I'll fucking kill you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': ''[chuckles]'' Tough guy, my ass.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What?
:'''Homelander''': You, your whole bit. This whole &quot;guts and glory&quot; thing. What a fucking joke. I read your classified file. Your brother won a Silver Star for bravery at [[w:Battle of Anzio|Anzio]], and that's what made you beg your father to buy you a spot in Dr. Vought's trials. Because it killed you to see your brother dripping in all that glory, making you look all the more feeble in comparison.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't know shit about me.
:'''Homelander''': Really? I know that when they tried to inject you with the V, you were so fucking petrified that they had to strap you to the table. And you pissed yourself, crying for your mommy like the whiny, spoiled little rich boy that you are. They gave you the world, and you? You deserve ''nothing.''
:''[Soldier Boy stands by as Homelander walks into a small chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Oh, Christ. What's this shithole now?
:''[Soldier Boy shuts the door while Homelander isn't looking and turns the wheel to lock him inside the chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': What are you doing?!
:''[Soldier Boy bends the wheel with his bare hands and tears it off the door]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, well done. I'll be out of here in 30 seconds!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. Maybe not.
:''[Soldier Boy pulls down a lever to open a radioactive valve. Homelander's face immediately starts blistering from the radiation.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': It's enriched uranium. They'd stick us Supes in there to see if we could survive an atomic bomb. Now, for a normal joe, they'd be dead in minutes. But for you, it's a stomach flu. Good luck, though, getting out of a Supe-proof cell while you're bleeding out of your ass.
:''[Homelander fails to kill Soldier Boy by lasering him. He punches the glass as Soldier Boy walks off.]''
:'''Homelander''': Where are you going?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'm gonna go destroy any V1 that I find, you Triple Crown cock jockey.
:'''Homelander''': Why?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't get it, do you? How much I can't fucking stand you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Homelander trapped inside the uranium chamber]''
:'''Butcher''': ''[laughs]'' Oh, if only the world could see you now. Not so fuckin' super, are ya? You, uh... ''[points at Homelander's face]'' You got a bit of... ''[pause; Homelander coughs]'' Did your dad put you in timeout? Ooh… That's gotta sting, knowin' he'd rather spend eternity all alone than with the likes of you. What's the matter? Cunt got your tongue? Will wonders ever cease? ''[chuckles; lights cigarette]'' Tell me something. If you do get the juice in you, you think that makes you a god, don't ya? Seems like I know you pretty well after all. Which is why I know that even if you had a billion twats garglin' your bollocks and singin' &quot;Hosanna&quot;, you still wouldn't be happy. 'Cause deep down, you're just a weak, thin-skinned, needy little boy. You beat the shit outta your own son. Don't get weaker than that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs weakly while groaning in pain]'' Ryan is alive… because he's strong. 'Cause he's my son. The son of God.
:'''Butcher''': You ain't no god. How's about I go fetch the virus, and then we'll watch you shit your fuckin' spine out?
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You don't have it, do you? The virus.
:'''Butcher''': …Don't I?
:'''Homelander''': No, you don't. You would have used it by now. ''[coughs; laughs hysterically]'' You have no way to stop me, do you? Oh, William. You have no idea what you're up against. You can't intervene. I ''will'' get the V1, and when I do, I'm gonna flay you alive. You, Starlight–All the nonbelievers. You're all gonna ''fuckin' drown'' in your own blood.
:'''Butcher''': I promise you, before I die... I'll fuckin' have you. ''[walks away]''
:'''Homelander''': YOU'RE ALL FUCKING PASTE! I can take what's mine, and that makes this WHOLE FUCKING SHITBALL ''MY BIRTHRIGHT! '''MY DESTINY!'''''

==''&quot;One-Shots&quot;'' [5.05]==
:'''Firecracker''': Next up is a $500 million ad blitz with OOH, e-blasts, print and digital. Ain’t nobody won’t know about the Democratic Church of America… and its chosen prophet.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Prophets are servants.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course, sir. Great point. We’re just trying to ease people into it.
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no. We need to prepare America for my ascension. We must be honest. We must be direct. I like “savior.” Or–Or…
:'''Oh Father''': Lord. Yes, I couldn’t agree more, sir. Religion is not about being meek. We should dominate the seven mountains of society, bring the Kingdom of Heaven to Earth! Amen!
:'''Homelander''': Amen.
:'''Firecracker''': Amen! I love all that!
:'''The Deep''': So fucking dope.
:'''Oh Father''': Easter is just around the corner. How perfect would it be for your second coming to come on the day of Jesus' resurrection?
:'''Homelander''': Mmm… Second coming? Let's be clear: I am not the son of God.
:'''Oh Father''': Well, of course. Many people believe that Jesus is both God incarnate and the son.
:'''Homelander''': Well, that's just confusing. I don't want my church getting involved in all... that.
:'''Firecracker''': Exactly. Besides, if we pull up our timeline, you won't have… ''[picks up a bag with a large book inside]'' this.
:''[Firecracker kneels in front of Homelander, who accepts the book. He takes it out of the bag and sees &quot;The Homelander Bible&quot; with himself embossed on the cover.]''
:'''Oh Father''': We're gonna drag our feet because of a book?
:'''Firecracker''': Not a book. ''The'' book. The Homelander Bible.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause; lifts the book with his hands]'' Heavy.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[quietly]'' What the fuck?
:'''Firecracker''': It's got the Old Testament, the New Testament, and the brand new American Testament, written by A.I. trained on the works of Pat Robertson. See, we need to pass the torch, sir. From Jesus to you. Sir, we don't get more than one chance at a first impression. Are we really gonna rush something this important? We ain't [w:Arby's|Arby's]], after all.
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Firecracker''': We're the [[w:The Cheesecake Factory|Cheesecake Factory]].
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs deeply]'' Okay. We'll do it your way.
:'''Firecracker''': Thank you.
:'''Sister Sage''': You do realize this kind of sudden religious upheaval is likely to generate widespread civil unrest?
:'''Firecracker''': Local law should be able to handle the suburbs, but we could use extra hands in major metros.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, let's recall all Supes stationed overseas. American heroes should be protecting America, not Who-Gives-A-Fuckistan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Firecracker''': We ain't doin' that again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[chuckles]'' That's what you said the last six times.
:'''Firecracker''': No, I really mean it this time.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You seem a little out of it. Did you nut? 'Cause usually, you nut.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' Were you baptized?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah, in front of half of Chestnut Hill. Governor Sproul did the honors. My family kept up appearances, of course. Then, we never set foot in church again.
:'''Firecracker''': I had lunch today with the reverend who baptized me. He's been gettin' heat to switch over to our church. You think Homelander might be open to going easy on him? Just... give him a little more time? I wouldn't ask if it was just anybody, but that man practically raised me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So you didn't nut. You know, this whole Homelander as God shit, it's... it's fucking ridiculous.
:'''Firecracker''': Really? You think so?
:'''Soldier Boy''': If he's the second coming, then what does that make me? Joseph? I mean, talk about the biggest cuck in history. Man trades his best cow to bag some hot-ass virgin, and then God comes and squirts his baby gravy up her meat wallet. Fuck that.
:'''Firecracker''': I guess I've been struggling with where to place Homelander in my heart in relation to Jesus and the Lord.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course I worship Homelander. I mean, he's always been a god to me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Look, I'll tell you this. If there is a God... sure as hell didn't come out of my balls. I gotta go.
:'''Firecracker''': Where you off to?
:'''Soldier Boy''': L.A… ''[snickers]'' I fucking hate L.A.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker is filming her new episode of TruthBomb and starts reading her opening monologue from a teleprompter]''
:'''Firecracker''': Welcome to ''Truthbomb''. Our top story tonight's a personal one. It's the story of my hometown church, Holy Baptist of Daytona. It was the church I grew up in. Sang my hymns from the pews there every Sunday. But that church... That church…
:''[The teleprompter stops scrolling]''
:'''Firecracker''': ''[beat]'' That church... has become a hotbed of Starlighter infestation. And my old pastor, Reverend Greg Dupree, has been infected by Starlight's seditious propaganda. Now... I never told a soul this, but when I was a little girl, the reverend regularly had me over for supper. Alone. ''[pause; chuckles]'' No. Nothing ever happened to me, but... ''[sighs]'' I heard stories about his &quot;Fish Fry Fridays.&quot; And if that ain't code for child groomin', I don't know what is. How much longer are we gonna let these institutional pedo churches diddle our babies? Americans deserve better. They deserve... Homelander. They deserve the Democratic Church of America. ''[starts crying]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Would you like some knee pads?
:'''The Deep''': Sorry, what?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're looking at me like you wanna suck my hog. So I'm asking you if you would like some knee pads.
:'''Homelander''': Go easy on the little guy. He brought me Stan Edgar.
:'''The Deep''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Homelander''': You may leave.
:''[Soldier Boy stays behind with Homelander in the conference room as the rest of The Seven leave]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What crawled up your shithole?
:'''Homelander''': No idea what you mean.
:'''Soldier Boy''': When you're pissy, you tend to make everybody else's lives pissy too. Stan Edgar still stonewalling you?
:'''Homelander''': I've talked to him three times now. Says he has no idea where the V1 is. Heart rate steady as a rock. I'm starting to believe him.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That slippery fuck used to fetch my cоcaіnе. ''[pause]'' You know what? I have an idea. Why don't I take a crack at him? ''[Homelander stares at him]'' What, you don't trust me?
:'''Homelander''': Well, you did lock me in a room with nuclear material and tried to stop me getting the V1, so I'm sure you can understand my hesitance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You could've killed me at Fort Harmony, but you didn't. Maybe I feel like I owe you.
:'''Homelander''': Or maybe you're lying.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. ''[inhales deeply]'' Give me an hour. I'll meet you at Edgar's cell.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hughie''': If you and M.M. still think–
:'''Butcher''': Oh, for fuck's sakes, Hughie. Knock it off with this V1 shite! You're doin' me fuckin' head in! ''[sees his dog Terror eating out of the trash]'' Oi, Terror. Cut it out. Come on. ''[to Hughie]'' Now, listen. If we do find that stuff, we're not makin' any fuckin' vaccines out of it, alright? We're not the department of fuckin' health. We burn that shit before Homelander gets his paws on it, and that's that.
:'''Hughie''': Well, if you wanna kill yourself, knock yourself out, but why do you have to decide for the rest of us?
:'''Butcher''': Oh, 'cause I'm fuckin' right! 'Cause I've always been right! I've been tellin' you lot from the fuckin' start the sky is fallin', and guess what? The sky fuckin' fell.
:'''Hughie''': Well, you kinda helped bring it down.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, don't give me that bollocks. Listen, Homelander thinks he's a fuckin' god. Once he becomes immortal, he's gonna start killin' like one, and we are talkin' millions of people. Now, are you tellin' me you're honestly happy to risk all of that for a life on the run with your girl, knowin' that you could've stopped it? You can live with that, can ya?
:'''Hughie''': What if it was Becca? You'd just let her die?
:'''Butcher''': …I ''did'' let her die.
:'''Hughie''': Look… I know that Homelander comes first. I really do. All I'm asking is that we try. Annie and Kimiko deserve that much.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mister Marathon and Malchemical try to convince Soldier Boy to kill Homelander while he is unconscious]''
:'''Mister Marathon''': Hey, man, we don't have a problem with you. Honest, ''[stutters]'' but–but fuck this fucking guy. You know, he fuckеd my life. Look, if you help us get rid of him, then we all win, and you–you can have The Seven. And I don't even, like, really care if you bring me back or whatever.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need to kill him to get The Seven.
:'''Mister Marathon''': No. Yeah, of course not, but what about all that creepy shit he's doing with that church? I mean, they're rounding up everybody cool. All the hοοkers, the drug dealers.
:'''Malchemical''': They wanna ban pοrn. I mean, they wanna ban fucking abortions!
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay, well, banning abortion would be a big problem for me personally.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Exactly, for all of us. So, if we kill him, we can stop worrying about being cops or gods or asexual weirdos. You know, we can go back to fucking and–and being fucking awesome!
:'''Malchemical''': Look, we know you've got that fucked-up chest blast thing. I mean, I was at Herogasm. I saw it.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Just finish him now. Take away his powers, so we can curb stomp him while we have the chance. 
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' He is a fucking asexual weirdo.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Malchemical''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But as much as it pains me to say this, he's ''my'' fucking asexual weirdo. Nobody fucks my son but me.
:'''Mister Marathon''': What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …That came out wrong.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker sees Homelander sitting on the couch in the Seven common room]''
:'''Firecracker''': Homelander… How was L.A.? Did you catch tonight's ''Truthbomb?''
:'''Homelander''': I did indeed. And it was a real barn-burner. Well done.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[smiles]'' Thank you, sir. That means the world.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' How's sеx with my father? ''[Firecracker's smile disappears]'' Is he good at it? Are you thinking about me when you're making love to him?
:'''Firecracker''': I never meant to cross a line or offend you in...
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Don't fret, little one. I don't care about the sеx, really. But I ''do'' care about your little chats after sеx.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, whatever Soldier Boy told you, I can assure you that I...
:'''Homelander''': You mean your inner turmoil when it comes to me and, uh, Jesus? Are you thinking of Jesus when you're praising me?
:'''Firecracker''': No, you are my one and only savior.
:'''Homelander''': You say that, but your jagged little heart is whirring like a hummingbird. ''[sighs; gets up from the couch]'' You're supposed to worship me, love me and me alone.
:'''Firecracker''': I do.
:'''Homelander''': I believed in you. Turns out, you don't believe in me. ''[pause]'' I need you to collect your things and leave.
:'''Firecracker''': But I ''do'' believe in you. I love you! I am the only one here who ever has! I gave you ''everything!'' I gave you my soul! Everybody else here, they're just... They're just scared of you. Or they want something from you, but I have always loved you for you. Just the strongest, smartest, best man on Earth.
:'''Homelander''': ''[scoffs]'' Man?
:'''Firecracker''': No, no, no, no, no. A god. No. No, ''the'' God. My Lord, that look you used to get when you'd suckle me? I felt like Mother Mary herself. I felt blessed to nourish someone as important as you. ''[pause; Homelander sighs]'' But nothing I ever did was good enough, was it? You cast me out into the cold, which was so much worse than never feeling your warmth in the first place. So all I have been tryin' to do is to get you to see me the way that you used to. Hell, only reason I was with Soldier Boy was that your reflected light is better than no light at all. Please, sir. I love you. We all need love, don't we? Even God.
:''[Homelander reaches his hand out to touch Firecracker's cheek, then kills her by impaling her head on the left wing of an eagle statue]''

==''&quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;'' [5.06]==
:''[Hughie and Annie are laying down on the hood of his car looking at clouds together]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so that one?
:'''Annie''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Hughie''': It’s like a rabbit, but it’s got way too many feet.
:'''Annie''': Really? I see a frog eating a dick. This is definitely in my top five.
:'''Hughie''': Top five what?
:'''Annie''': Things to do with you.
:'''Hughie''':  You’re saying that like… this is the last time we’re gonna get to do this. Hey, listen to me. The guys are gonna find Bombsight, they’ll get the V1. You’re not dying. We will have plenty of time to look for filthy shapes in the clouds.
:'''Annie''': God, I don’t know where it comes from. This… unshakeable hope.
:'''Hughie''': Whenever I’d get upset as a kid, which was a lot… my dad would always say, “You know, son, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react.” And that was infuriating. But then, I spent a year in an internment camp, and I had no control over anything. I’d just lay there at night, just… so fucking angry, hearing my dad’s voice in my head… but then I finally understood what he meant. ‘Cause the only thing I had left was… hope. And it is ''really'' fucking hard to hang on to, but I… I’m trying.
:'''Annie''': I think… you might be low-key the strongest person I know.
:'''Hughie''': I’d prefer high-key… ''[Annie chuckles]'' but thank you.
:'''Annie''': ''[beat; points at the sky]'' Look, it’s–it’s Big Bird eating a dick.
:'''Hughie''': You see an unsettling amount of dicks up there, I’m just saying.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy look around Bombsight's empty house to find the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': You sure this is the right address?
:'''Homelander''': I'm sure.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, there's no sign of Bombsight... or fucking anyone. Maybe Crime Analytics got a bad tip.
:''[Homelander sees a laptop on the table. When he opens it up, a video of him and Stormfront having sex starts playing. He notices Soldier Boy watching along with him and closes the laptop.]'' 
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck was that?
:'''Homelander''': I can explain.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That was Clara. You told me she killed herself.
:'''Homelander''': She did, after Ryan did ''that'' to her. It's his fault.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So then what? You locked her in your apartment like some kind of amputee fuck doll...
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ...and filmed her for kicks?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no! It wasn't like that! I did... I did everything I could to keep her alive, to–to make her happy. ''[pause; Soldier Boy punches him]'' Just listen to me, okay?! It wasn't all like... that. I couldn't let her go. I didn't know how... because I loved her. And so did you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're goddamn right I loved her.
:'''Homelander''': She wouldn't want us fighting over her.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Don't fucking tell me what she would want! You knew her for five minutes; I was with her for decades! 
:'''Homelander''': Hold–Hold on. This–This is a setup. Someone's trying to separate us. This has been plan... Fucking Sage. It's Sage. You see? She's trying to screw with us. ''[Soldier Boy turns around to leave]'' Oh, come on! I can't find the V1 without you!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; turns back around]'' Good. You don't deserve to live forever.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher tries to call Bombsight using one of his old phone numbers, but gets a fax machine instead]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': That a fuckin’ fax machine?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, it’s the last of the numbers she had for him. ''[to Golden Geisha]'' Oi. Twenty-three fuckin' numbers you had for Bombsight, and they’re all fuckin' shite?
:'''Golden Geisha''': Do you know how to delete them? I was telling you the truth. I have no idea where Bombsight is, or how to reach him. So just let me go.
:'''Butcher''': Kimiko, keep an eye on her.
:''[Frenchie joins Butcher and M.M. on their way back to their hideout]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck do we do now?
:'''Butcher''': Fetch us some pliers and put the screws to her. She knows more than she’s lettin’ on.
:'''Frenchie''': Or she doesn’t. I’m sorry, but she’s not that good of an actress.
:''[M.M. and Frenchie draw their weapons when they see Sister Sage inside]''
:'''Sister Sage''': He’s right. ''[sarcastically]'' Ooh, I know. The villain switching sides in the final hour. What a twist, a shock that never happens. But unclench those assholes, fellas. I’m here to help. I’m a free agent now. I came alone. You can shoot me in the heart whenever you like.
:'''Butcher''': That’s a good idea. ''[takes out and cocks his gun]''
:'''Sister Sage''': That would go against our mutual interest.
:'''Butcher''': Which is?
:'''Sister Sage''': Stopping a petulant, laser-eyed narcissist from also becoming immortal. I want him dead as much as you do.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You spent the last couple of years building Homelander up, and now you wanna tear him down? Why the fuck should we trust you?
:'''Sister Sage''': You can’t trust me. Honestly, you shouldn’t, but you will.
:'''Frenchie''': And why would we do that?
:'''Sister Sage''': I know Campbell and Starlight are headed to plant your little virus. You can trace anyone, if you know what to look for. And you baboons, you leave a trail of banana peels wherever you go. I could have stopped you, I could have killed you... but I didn’t.
:'''Butcher''': That virus is gonna wipe out the fuckin’ lot of ya. And you don’t strike me as the suicide type.
:'''Sister Sage''': I will be in my nice, quiet bunker, reading [[w:Ludwig Wittgenstein|Wittgenstein]] in peace. That is, unless that bleached blonde baby gets his hands on V1 and survives. You must have realized by now Granny out there has no clue how to contact Bombsight, but I do. And I can get him here. So... let me help.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': I wanted to say... I'm very sorry about this. I watched every episode of ''Undercover Geisha'' when I was a kid. I loved it, even the parts that were ridiculous racist stereotypes. It meant so much to see someone who looked like me on TV. ''[brief pause]'' We watched with Japanese subtitles. It's how I learned English.
:'''Golden Geisha''': If you're such a big fan, let me go.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Désolé'', but we cannot. Not until we get the V1 that Bombsight possesses.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Wait, that's what you're after? V1? ''[laughs]''
:'''Kimiko''': What–What's so funny?
:'''Golden Geisha''': I'll tell Bombsight to just give it to you. I sure as hell don't want it.
:'''Kimiko''': ...He stole the V1 for you, so you two could be together forever. ''[pause]'' But you didn't take it.
:'''Golden Geisha''': ''[shakes her head]'' I said no... which is why he left. I guess, for him, watching me get old was too painful.
:'''Frenchie''': I'm sorry, I do not understand. Why won't you take it?
:'''Golden Geisha''': To live forever? It'd be torture. ''[scoffs]'' You're both so young. You wouldn't understand.
:'''Kimiko''': Maybe I would.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Summer is only beautiful when you know winter is coming.
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Kimiko]'' Is this how you feel?
:'''Kimiko''': ''[nods]'' Annie and I talked about it. We'd have to... ''[signing]'' We'd have to watch you and Hughie waste away. Neither of us wants to die, but... we don't wanna be vampires either. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Legend leads Homelander inside the Boys' hideout, which is deserted]''
:'''The Legend''': Okay, um... 
:'''Homelander''': No one here.
:'''The Legend''': I grant you, it–it looks like that, yeah. But this–this is their hideout, so I'm sure there's plenty of clues all over here. ''[picks up a receipt]'' Here you go. ''[Homelander sighs]'' Oh, no. Well, this is nothing. But, you know, they have to have left something behind, you know?
:'''Homelander''': ''[looks at the receipt; chuckles]'' Hmmph. It's not nothing.
:'''The Legend''': It's a Taco Bell receipt. 
:'''Homelander''': No, ''this is Sage!'' Taunting me! 
:'''The Legend''': Okay.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs frustratingly; sits on bed]'' This makes no sense. This makes no sense. This makes no sense! ''[chuckles]'' You said I would get the V1. You said I'd be a god. Did I do something wrong? Did I fail you? I did everything you asked me to. I gave my boy up. Please, don't leave me here to just rot. Don't just let me become ''nothing'' like ''him.'' Please…
:'''The Legend''': I gotta assume… The only reason you're saying all this stuff is, you're... You're not gonna let me walk out of here alive, are you? Yeah? Okay. Yeah. ''[pause]'' Alright, look, kid. I've been around a long time and I… This is just how it goes. You know all those old Supes at the home? Every one of them had their moments in the sun and they all thought it was gonna go on forever. And every one of them got shoved out in the end. They all got shoved out. All of them. And I know what I'm talking about; I did the shoving. I mean, look at Goldie. One minute, she's on the set of ''Undercover Geisha'', getting finger-popped by Lorenzo Lamas. The next, she's shilling for VoughtAlert necklaces and Activia poop yogurt.
:'''Homelander''': Geisha sells VoughtAlert necklaces?
:'''The Legend''': Guess you don't watch your own news channel. The point is, look, there comes a day… I got shoved out, too. Never saw it coming. Did not see that coming, and I fought it like hell. But in the end... bupkis. There is a natural order to things. And the more you fight the inevitable, the more the inevitable just… cunt-punts you. ''[pats Homelander's shoulder]'' Yep.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; gets up]'' You're not scared of me.
:'''The Legend''': No, I'm not scared of you. I… I feel for you, kid. I do. I mean, you're a fucking whackjob. But, you know, there's talent. So… No surprise there. ''[pause]'' So, there you go. Do what you gotta do.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' ...You can go.
:'''The Legend''': I–I can go?
:'''Homelander''': Leave. No words. Just go. Now. Go. ''Now.''
:'''The Legend''': Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
:''[After The Legend leaves the Boys' hideout, Homelander makes a call on his cell phone]''
:'''Operator''': How can I help you, sir? 
:'''Homelander''': I need the tracking coordinates for a VoughtAlert necklace.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Tough skin or not, I can still break your fucking neck!
:'''Bombsight''': Ben, stop. Please.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; lets Bombsight go]'' Goddammit.
:'''Bombsight''': ''[beat]'' I can't give it to you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goldie doesn't even wanna take it.
:'''Bombsight''': Then maybe someday, I'll find someone who will!
:'''Soldier Boy''': You were always gonna fuck it up with Goldie anyway. You could never hold down a girl! It was either a smack needle up your dick or— 
:'''Bombsight''': Having to stand next to you? You were everyone's favorite from the start, especially Clara. Everything they wanted us to be, everything they were working towards, they saw it in you. I fucking hated you for it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No. No, I wasn't everything Clara wanted. I didn't know how to be.
:'''Bombsight''': But you loved her. What wouldn't you give to have her back... forever?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …I really fuckin' hate you.
:'''Bombsight''': No shit.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But we don't have to kill each other. I can take away your immortality... and your powers. You won't have to live forever alone. Then, you and Goldie can spend whatever time you have left like you want.
:'''Bombsight''': Why would you do that for me?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd do it for the V1.
:''[Bombsight hands a case to Soldier Boy, who opens it to find a V1 syringe inside. The Boys hear an explosion from far away and run towards it. Cut to Bombsight looking at the wound near his shoulder.]''
:'''Bombsight''': This is the first time I've seen my blood in... I can't remember.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander finds Soldier Boy with the V1 syringe he received from Bombsight. The Boys and Sister Sage watch them from the nearby woods.]''
:'''Homelander''': Don't. I don't wanna fight you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks down at the syringe]'' You know, Clara used to say the craziest shit. That I was the strongest Supe alive, the ultimate expression of what we could be... but she was wrong. ''[pause]'' She hadn't met you yet.
:''[Soldier Boy offers the syringe to Homelander, who accepts it]''
:'''Butcher''': No.
:'''Sister Sage''': I don't understand. He wasn't supposed to... It's impossible.
:'''Homelander''': But you hate me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I love her more... and this is what she would want.
:''[Homelander lasers his left arm and injects the V1 into his wound. His eyes immediately start flickering and he kneels to the ground in pain. The Boys watch in horror as Homelander screams and shoots powerful lasers into the sky.]''
:'''Butcher''': '''''Run.'''''

==''&quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;'' [5.07]==
:''[A V1-empowered Homelander sits in President Calhoun's chair in the Oval Office. He hears a knock at the door]''
:'''Homelander''': Come in! ''[in a cheerful tone, as Ashley and Calhoun enter]'' Hello, you two. Isn't it a beautiful day?
:'''Calhoun''': ''[nervously]'' You're welcome to use this office as long as you need. 
:'''Homelander''': I know. Let's get right to it! While Oh Father is hard at work on my divine unveiling, I have a few action items I need you to handle.
:'''Ashley''': Of course. Anything, sir.
:'''Homelander''': The Democratic Church of America is to be the ''official'' national religion, based around the one true god: Me. 
:'''Calhoun''': Great idea.
:'''Homelander''': I want every boundary between church and state dissolved. I want troops sent into every sanctuary city that took in Starlighters. Issue an executive order banning abortion. Also, breastfeeding is now mandatory. Babies need their mothers, not fake milk. Actually, outlaw that, too.
:'''Ashley''': Sir? 
:'''Homelander''': ''[intensely] Ban nut milk.'' The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was making you think nuts were milk. ''[snickers after a short silence]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': Those are all, uh, fantastic ideas, sir, um... I'll run them by Congress– 
:'''Homelander''': No, disband it.
:'''Calhoun''': Sorry? 
:'''Homelander''': Disband Congress. It's better for freedom. 
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, I don't really have that authority. 
:'''Homelander''': ''[frowns]'' Ashley, do me a favor. Read Steven's mind. I want to know if he's a true believer. 
:'''Calhoun''': But of... course I am, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific! Then you have nothing to worry about. ''[gets up and steps over to Ashley]'' Do it. 
:''[He rips off her wig, and she gasps and covers her face in shame as &quot;Back Ashley&quot; is revealed]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': ''[revolted]'' What the fuck is that? 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': Don't look!
:'''Homelander''': Don't make me ask again. 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': ''[stammering in fear]'' Sir, I–I... Sir, I...
:'''Ashley''': ''[sighs; steels herself and turns back to Homelander]'' He's terrified of you, sir. He thinks you're just a tiny bit psychotic.
:'''Homelander''': Steven! ''[steps towards Calhoun, glaring intensely]'' Here I am. A living god. ''[rests his hands on Calhoun's shoulders]'' Right before your eyes. And still, your faith wavers? ''[beat; Calhoun is clearly too terrified to answer]'' It's okay. No, I'm not angry. ''[clasps his head gently]'' But I ''am'' disappointed.
:''[He crushes Calhoun's head into a pulp, then wipes the blood off his hands on a sofa. An utterly terrified Ashley stares at Calhoun's body as Homelander sits back down at the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie sees Kimiko suffering from radiation exposure inside a homemade uranium chamber while Butcher and Frenchie watch]''
:'''Hughie''': What the fuck is going on in here?
:'''Kimiko''': I'm okay.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' The second she's ready, we go the next dose, alright?
:'''Hughie''': &quot;Next dose?&quot; Are you kidding?! Look at her! What are you doing?
:'''Butcher''': Plan fuckin' B, my son. If at first you don't succeed, find another hole to fuck. See, Soldier Boy's flashy tіt blast got me thinkin', he–he weren't born with that power. The Ivans gave it to him through a consistent application of scientific methodology.
:'''Frenchie''': They threw an atom bomb worth of radiation at him.
:'''Butcher''': Right. So, usin' the research we nicked from 'em a few donkeys back, me and Frenchie are doin' the same thing to Kimiko. She gets Soldier Boy's power, she tіt-blasts Homelander, bees and fuckin' honey.
:'''Hughie''': So when we kept asking what you two were up to, and you kept saying, &quot;Mind your fuckin' business, cunt,&quot; it was this?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah.
:'''Hughie''': Butcher, this is... the most insane-ass shit I ever heard. In a few weeks, you're gonna somehow do what it took the Russians over a decade?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, 'cause unlike the Ivans, we got us a livin', breathin' supercomputer bunked down in student services.
:'''Hughie''': Sage? All she does is self-medicate and binge [[w:Love Island (American TV series)|''Love Island'']]. This could fucking kill Kimiko. Frenchie…
:'''Frenchie''': No. It's not my wish.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck Butcher. Who cares what he wants?
:''[Kimiko coughs and stumbles out of the uranium chamber]'' 
:'''Kimiko''': Not Butcher. ''[panting heavily]'' Me. It's my call.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Annie''': Oh Father's up to something big at Vought Studios, but we don't know what. Could be a trap.
:'''Frenchie''': Could be.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' You stay here with Kimiko and Sage. We'll bust into the studio, nab the holy twat, stomp on his bollocks till he gives us Homelander's next move. And then I'll do the cunt and we'll call it an honest day's work, yeah?
:'''Hughie''': No. Quit acting like we're going on a milk run. It's over. ''[voice breaking]'' We lost.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' [[w:Victoria Beckham|Posh Spice]] was easily the most shit member of [[w:Spice Girls|the squad]]. Could barely sing or dance. No discernible talent whatsoever. Wasn't even featured on [[w:Wannabe|&quot;Wannabe&quot;]], but did that stop her? No. You look at her now... still married with [[w:David Beckham|Becks]]. Fifteen engagement rings, 32 ''Vogue'' covers, inducted by Prince William into the Order of the bloody British Empire. Even I doubted her move into women's apparel, but her line is a staple at Paris fuckin' Fashion Week. You see, despite her obvious disadvantages–includin' a tragic inability to smile–she never gave up, and we ain't givin' up either.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shakes his head]'' Your fuckin' pep talks.
:'''Frenchie''': Terrible.
:'''Annie''': The worst.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, bollocks. That was a fuckin' knockout.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Alone and depressed, The Deep tosses an aluminum can into the sea. A hammerhead shark appears and [[w:Samuel L. Jackson|speaks to him]]]''
:'''Xander''': Yo! You gonna get that, bro?
:'''The Deep''': Xander! ''[chuckles]'' Hey, what you doing here? So good to see you, man.
:'''Xander''': We wouldn't want a little guppy to get caught in that can, my man. Come on in, grab it. ''[swims in circles]''
:'''The Deep''': I've had such a fucked day, man. You wouldn't believe it, bro.
:'''Xander''': Yeah. Get in the water, man.
:'''The Deep''': No. You're not... You're not listening to me–
:'''Xander''': ''[angrily]'' Ah, shut the fuck up! We know you were responsible for the pipeline genocide. Remember March 15th, motherfucker!
:'''The Deep''': No... No, wait, that–That wasn't me, man!
:'''Xander''': If you step one foot, one fucking stupid-ass simian toe in the water ''ANYWHERE''—an ocean, a stream, a fucking puddle—on God, son, you're dead! We're gonna ''KILL YOU!'' You understand, you dumb motherfucker?! Water is fucking off limits to you! ''YOU ARE '''DEAD''' TO US! [swimming away]'' Bitch-ass!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy sees Homelander standing over a scale model of a Homelander-themed amusement park]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': The fuck is all this?
:'''Homelander''': Hey. HomeLand. Next phase of the reboot. Showing the faithful my boundless love for them. ''[points at a monument of himself]'' That there? The Homelander Mount. We're saying that this is where the angel visited me, and I ascended to godhood.
:'''Soldier Boy''': …Right.
:'''Homelander''': You're gonna love this. ''[waves his hand over a rollercoaster]'' This area here? We're calling it: &quot;Soldier Boy! Father of God!&quot; All the fastest rides are gonna be there, and every night, there's gonna be a ticker tape parade, honoring you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' I'm gonna head down to Bogotá. Figure I'll snort and fuck my way through the banana republics.
:'''Homelander''': Uh... When are you coming back?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Probably not for… ever.
:'''Homelander''': What? Look, if you don't like the park, I mean, forget it. I don't–I don't care about any of it. You want hοοker and blow? I'll get you all the drugs and all the wrinkly old whοres in America.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No, you're not hearing me.
:'''Homelander''': No, you're not hearing ''me.'' I am where I am because you chose me. To help me. So, I want you to have whatever you want.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What I want is to get away.
:'''Homelander''': From what? ''[scoffs]'' Or from who?
:'''Soldier Boy''': This just ain't my bag, kid.
:'''Homelander''': I welded your shield back together, you never use it. I hired you a three-star Michelin chef, all you ever order is meatloaf and chili. I even had L.J. mock up a new super suit for you. 
:''[Homelander pulls out a poster of Soldier Boy wearing an American flag-patterned suit]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, God. See, that's what I'm talking about.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, God? What?!
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't want that. And another thing: I gave you the V1 because of Clara. Because that's what she would've wanted. This was never gonna be a &quot;playing catch on the front lawn&quot;, &quot;fixing up the old Impala&quot; bullshit. You're too weird.
:'''Homelander''': Stop fucking saying that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': And you're no god. No angel came to you. You had a wet dream about some chick with big, juicy tіts. If that makes you a god, then I'm a fucking god every night.
:'''Homelander''': '''I ''AM'' GOD!'''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' Would it help if I said, &quot;It's not you, it's me&quot;?
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs softly]'' If you wanna go, go.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sighs; pats Homelander on the back]'' Good luck, son.
:''[Homelander suddenly grabs Soldier Boy from behind and puts him in a chokehold until he passes out]''
:'''Homelander''': I love you.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mother's Milk''': Help me out here. In the movie, was Homelander God, the [[w:Second Coming|Second Coming]], or Jesus' brother? 'Cause the world-building in there was fuckеd.
:'''Annie''': Does it even matter? I mean, they will believe whatever he tells them. What is the fucking point of saving people if they don't wanna be saved? This is what they want.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[beat]'' Alright. So, back when my Gramps got killed by Soldier Boy, shit got rough. Neighborhood kids laughed, called me soft, shit like that. And then one day, I find this pigeon on the sidewalk, wing busted. He was in bad shape. So, I run inside, grab a shoebox and a first aid kit, and come to start nursin' it. I figure, if I can save just this one life, maybe it might somehow make up for... Anyway, those same fuckin' kids, they found out. And so now, it don't take a genius to go from Marvin Milk to Mother's Milk. &quot;Yo, Mother's Milk, you letting that sky rat suck on your tіttіеs or that dіck?&quot; They were relentless. Right up until the day when that little bird flew outta my house and right over their heads, good as new. And you know what, Annie? Here's the crazy thing: I loved my new name. 'Cause I loved helpin' people. I loved being kind, makin' my family proud. That name was a badge of honor for me. Now, last year, locked up in that detention center, something changed. My heart, it just got scarred over. Like the world had just broken it one too many times. And yeah, it got easier, just being cynical. Checking out. But I also hated myself a lot more. I went from being a mοthеrfuckеr with a heart to just being a mοthеrfuckеr. But you know what? Givin' a shit in a world where nobody gives a shit? It ain't soft. It's hard as hell… and that's the real me. ''[pause]'' And that's the real you, too.

==''&quot;Blood and Bone&quot;'' [5.08]==
:'''Homelander''': It's alright. I'm not here to hurt you.
:'''Ryan''': You mean like last time?
:'''Homelander''': Look at you. No harm done.
:'''Ryan''': How'd you find me?
:'''Homelander''': Crime Analytics caught wind of a young man flying outside Kolvereid. Tends to draw attention.
:'''Ryan''': I don't want your help.
:'''Homelander''': I know. You've made that very clear. But you're also the son of God, and you should not be sleeping in a barn. You can have a whole floor of the Tower. Do what you want with it, come and go as you please.
:'''Ryan''': I don't wanna be anywhere near you.
:'''Homelander''': Everything is different now. I've ascended. I'm immortal.
:'''Ryan''': Then, why do you give a shit about what happens to me?
:'''Homelander''': Because we're family. ''[Ryan scoffs]'' We have the same blood pumping through our veins.
:'''Ryan''': Yeah, well, you've got your shitty racist dad. So you don't need me.
:'''Homelander''': No, Soldier Boy doesn't matter. You and I, that's all that matters. I know you, because I ''am'' you. And you're me.
:'''Ryan''': Dad… Get fuckеd. I am nothing like you. You were already the most powerful person on Earth. And you were a lonely, miserable piece of fucking shit, throwing tantrums when you didn't get what you want. Why the fuck would more power make you any better? It's just going to make you an even more lonely, miserable piece of shit. Scaring people into calling you God doesn't make you God. And deep down, you know that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; tearfully sighs]'' It's okay. You don't know what's going on. It's okay… but you will.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[After M.M. kills Oh Father by blocking his mouth with a metal mouth gag, causing his head to explode and spill blood all around]''
:'''Hughie''': I really need a new job.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''The Deep''': Starlight... It was all a test. Yes! The universe is rewarding me for my loyalty, just like [[w:Sean Connery|Sean Connery]] rewarded [[w:Kevin Costner|Costner]] at the end of ''[[w:Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves|Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves]]''!
:'''Hughie''': Sweet ''Jesus'', you're a moron.
:'''The Deep''': ''[glances at him in annoyance, then points at Starlight]'' I'm gonna kill you. And then Homelander will finally see.
:'''Starlight''': ''[to M.M. and Hughie]'' I got him. Keep going.
:''[She lunges at the Deep, carrying them both through a window and across Washington before they crash land on a seashore. They both pick themselves up, and the Deep keeps trying to attack her.]''
:'''Starlight''': Why are you doing this, huh? Risking your life for a man who wouldn't even piss on you if you were on fire?
:'''The Deep''': I'm his right-hand bro! He'll piss on me whenever I want!
:'''Starlight''': Listen... I know you're scared--
:'''The Deep''': I'm not scared of shit!
:'''Starlight''': Deep, ''Kevin'' - I can see in your eyes. Homelander terrifies you. But he sure as fuck doesn't respect you. Don't you want to be free of it? Of him?
:'''The Deep''': That fucking mouth of yours...!
:'''Starlight''': This isn't about me.
:'''The Deep''': ''[ranting]'' OF COURSE IT IS! I used to have it all! Real power, respect, a Top 50 STARmeter on [[w:IMDb|IMDb]] Pro! But all the bad shit started when ''you'' showed up! I LOST EVERYTHING!
:'''Starlight''': ''You'' made those fucked-up choices. You ruined your own life. You're not a fucking baby. For once, take some responsibility for yourself.
:'''The Deep''': ''[exploding with rage] '''NOOOO!'''''
:''[They fight, and though the Deep manages to knock her to the ground once, Starlight delivers several blows, including one to his groin, before blasting him and sending him flying backwards into the sea. He is immediately surrounded by a mob of angry sharks.]''
:'''Sharks''': Justice for Ambrosius!
:'''The Deep''': ''[terrified]'' Oh my God! Oh shit, I'm so sorry! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Stay away from me! 
:''[He pitifully tries to swim back to shore, but a giant squid grabs him by the leg.]''
:'''Squid''': Say her name! 
:'''The Deep''': Fuck! I'm sorry! Oh shit!
:''[The squid uses its tentacle to impale him through his backside, the tip erupting from his mouth. He is then dragged under, and the sharks devour him in a cloud of blood as Starlight watches in shock.]''
:'''Starlight''': ...Huh.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander gives his Easter address from the Oval Office and begins reading from a teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': My fellow Americans... Happy Easter. A day commemorating Jesus, who, as we all know, was tortured, stripped of his dignity and killed. And that's all well and good. But you're Americans. You deserve a God who doesn't die. A God who fights back. A God you can believe in. Well, today, I bring you good news. Recently, I was visited by an exquisite angel bearing the gift of revelation. As I bathed in her light, her heavenly lips spilled sweet truth into my ear, and I was awakened to my true purpose. Not just to be the world's greatest hero but to save all humanity. To be... the Second Coming. But in a way, really, I'm the First Coming. America... I am the Lord. Your savior. I am your God. And as such, I'm going to usher this world into a new, golden dawn. An age in which your God moves among you, seen and heard. Your prayers are truly answered when you visit homelander.church. And all I ask for in return… I simply ask that you open your hearts and put your faith in me. Those who accept my truth will be welcomed into a land of milk and honey. For I am your Fa…
:''[Homelander stares blankly at the teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': I am… ''[beat]'' But no matter what I do, some of you people will never accept me into your hearts. Never love me. Never believe in me. And to such heretics, I offer oblivion. And those who seek to destroy me, you will die the most horrible of deaths, as befits your wickedness. My reign will last forever, and when this world is cold and dead, I shall remain... eternal. God of the ashes.
:''[Butcher and Kimiko suddenly break into the Oval Office]''
:'''Butcher''': Evening, cunts. Daddy's home. 
:'''Homelander''': William. ''[pause]'' I was starting to think you weren't going to hold up your end of our deal.
:'''Butcher''': Scorched earth?
:'''Homelander''': A shame about the French one. How's your little science experiment going without him?
:'''Butcher''': Let's find out.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander is now at Butcher's mercy after losing his powers]''
:'''Butcher''': Shock and awe, my son. Blood and fuckin' bone.
:''[Homelander charges toward Butcher, who grabs Homelander's fist with his left hand and punches him three times with the other. Butcher grabs Homelander again and prepares to land another punch.]''
:'''Butcher''': This... is for Frenchie.
:''[Butcher punches Homelander in the face repeatedly, knocking him down to the floor and leaving him cowering in fear]''
:'''Homelander''': Stop! You owe me. All the times I could've killed you and I didn't, I let you live. I'll–I'll give you Vought. ''[Butcher picks up his crowbar]'' I'll give you Vought, alright? You can do whatever you want with it, okay? I'll–I'll... Becca. You want your wife back? I'll have a shape-shifter be her. ''[whimpers]'' Just tell me! I'll fucking suck your dіck! Please! I'll do anything! You want me to eat shit? I'll eat your fucking shit! I'll eat your fucking shit on live TV! ''[pause; Butcher knocks him down against the desk]'' Madelyn, you promised me. It's not real. ''[to Butcher]'' You can't fucking do this. ''You can't fucking do this! '''I am the Homelander!'''''
:'''Butcher''': No. Nah, you ain't nothing. And this... This is for my Becca.
:'''Homelander''': No, no...
:''[Butcher stabs Homelander in the head with the straight end of the crowbar. He lifts it up, breaking Homelander's skull open and spilling his brains all over the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie confronts Butcher at Vought Tower to stop him from releasing the Supe virus. Butcher is looking out the window when Hughie enters the main conference room.]''
:'''Butcher''': Traffic?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. Accident on the bridge. Should have taken the tunnel.
:'''Butcher''': ''[turns around]'' I thought you might try to stop me. But you shouldn't have come alone. You should've brought a fuckin' army.
:'''Hughie''': No. If you were gonna release the virus, you would've done it already.
:'''Butcher''': Unless... I'm waitin' for all the Supe cunts to clock in for the day shift. Not much point shootin' spunk into an empty fuckin' building, now is there?
:'''Hughie''': Okay, well, now I kinda wish I brought an army. Where's the virus, Butcher?
:'''Butcher''': I dumped it in the sprinkler tank. Frenchie's idea, God rest the mad bastard. ''[picks up remote controller]'' All I gotta do is pull this trigger, and it rains kill juice on all 99 floors. Shit will be worldwide within a couple of days.
:'''Hughie''': Why? I mean, we already won.
:'''Butcher''': Won? No, we just gave 'em a black eye. As long as there's Vought, there'll be Supes. And sooner or later, some cunt that's already out there becomes the next Homelander, and you fuckin' know it. No. We need to end the whole bloody notion of Supes, and we need to make it permanent. I mean, you can see it, right? This is it. This is the moment.
:'''Hughie''': You dragged me through fucking hell... for this. For now. To be your... canary. Or your Kessler. Or Lenny. But here's the thing: You don't need me for that. You never did. It's already in you. I can see it. You might have a broken fucking heart, but you have one. You are not a monster, Butcher. It just hurts to be human.
:'''Butcher''': I'm sorry, mate. Superheroes... are done.
:'''Hughie''': ''[pulls out gun]'' I can't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Petit Hughie and his gun. Takes some big bollocks to pull the trigger on a mate.
:'''Hughie''': ''[aims the gun at Butcher]'' I will if I have to.
:'''Butcher''': ''[chuckles]'' Nah. You ain't got the…
:''[Butcher takes the gun from Hughie, punches him and throws him across the room]''
:'''Butcher''': Stay down.
:''[Butcher sees Hughie staring at the remote and rushes to take it before Hughie does. Hughie quickly gets up and trades more blows with Butcher, spitting blood onto the floor after getting punched hard in the gut. Eventually, Butcher gains the upper hand and picks up the remote while Hughie lies helpless on the floor. Before he can pull the remote trigger, he has a hallucination of Lenny lying in Hughie's place. He gets shot in the abdomen by Hughie as he moves his finger away from the trigger. Realizing what he did, Hughie rushes to Butcher's side.]''
:'''Hughie''': I'm sorry. Um... I didn't wanna–I didn't wanna do that. Um... I'm–I'm gonna call an ambulance, okay?
:'''Butcher''': I wouldn't bother. It's all right, Hughie. I gave you no choice. I... I wasn't gonna stop. All the blood... and shite I put you through... and none of it made a blind bit of difference. You–You stayed yourself... no matter what I done. ''[coughs]''
:'''Hughie''': Hey.
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know what to do.
:'''Hughie''': You don't need to do anything.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat; Hughie holds his hand]'' You really are... the spittin' of Lenny.
:''[Butcher slowly loses his grip on Hughie as he dies]'' 
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': ''[last lines; to his and Annie's unborn daughter]'' Take care of your mom, Robin.

==External links==
{{The Boys}}
[[Category:The Boys (TV series) seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>ha8tr867k7knxukuodqdorawf5h24ny</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943969</id>
      <parentid>3943968</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T14:53:52Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-16389-61</username>
        <id>3302453</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* &quot;Blood and Bone&quot; [5.08] */</comment>
      <origin>3943969</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="92025" sha1="ed9uiz8um1kyxvy5g4esfqocf6c1wj7" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Season''' [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 1|1]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 2|2]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 3|3]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 4|4]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 5|5]]  [[The Boys (TV series)|Main]]
----
'''''[[w:The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]''''' is an American superhero television series developed by Eric Kripke for [[w:Amazon Prime Video|Amazon Prime Video]]. Based on the comic book of the same name by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson, it follows the eponymous team of vigilantes as they combat superpowered individuals who abuse their abilities.

==''&quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;'' [5.01]==
:''[Homelander meets with Sister Sage after the Flight 37 video gets leaked to the public by Annie]''
:'''Sister Sage''': We knew this would happen sooner or later. We've been ready. In the last 24 hours, we have flooded the zone with so much disinformation, people can't tell their clit from their collarbone. The share price is only down half a point. Besides that, damage is minimal.
:'''Homelander''': ''[points at open book]'' What's this?
:'''Sister Sage''': That is a Gutenberg Bible. Martin Shkreli sold it to me at discount.
:'''Homelander''': You're really on top of the world, huh? Peter Thiel, the Obamas calling you for advice. Everyone loves you. 
:'''Sister Sage''': You can't really think I care.
:'''Homelander''': Maybe you didn't used to.
:'''Sister Sage''': It's all for you. The higher the share price, the happier the billionaires. The more you get to do whatever the fuck you wanna do.
:'''Homelander''': Are you aware that NNC is calling me a murderer? Saying that maybe I even did something to my son?
:'''Sister Sage''': No. Everyone knows that Ryan is... ''[sighs]'' Sorry. That he is at boarding school. In Svalbard. ''[chuckling]'' That story's holding. We're good.
:'''Homelander''': And how–how about you, Sage? Are you… good?
:'''Sister Sage''': I'm fine.
:'''Homelander''': You're not distracted at all? After Thomas Godolkin dumped you? You're not numbing the heartache by stabbing your brain?
:'''Sister Sage''': No.
:'''Homelander''': Then, just tell me. How did Starlight get in the building? ''[beat; exhales]'' I WAS '''HUMILIATED!''' As if people don't hate me enough!
:'''Sister Sage''': Your numbers are north of 96.
:'''Homelander''': Anyone can smile for the pollsters, sure, but millions of them are still Starlighters in their hearts! Where it counts! Have you seen the memes? Have you seen the ''memes'' about me?! ''[brief pause]'' Posting them should be a crime.
:'''Sister Sage''': Yes, but we can't go... ''[notices Homelander glaring at her]'' Oh, you're serious. Uh, sir... ''[chuckles]'' Ongoing conflict is useful to us. It keeps people afraid…
:'''Homelander''': Shut up.
:'''Sister Sage''': …which is exactly what we–
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no, no! NO! You promised me Caesar.
:'''Sister Sage''': He was stabbed by his best friends.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, well, I can relate to that! But I need people to be ''devoted!'' To '''''me!'''''
:'''Sister Sage''': May I speak freely?
:'''Homelander''': Give it a shot.
:'''Sister Sage''': I told you, no matter how much power you amass, it will not make you happy.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You know what's gonna make me happy? I think I'll be happy when Starlight and William Butcher are corpses. I want it leaked that in three days, we are going to execute Hugh Campbell, Milk, and the... French one. That'll draw out Starlight and Butcher, and then I will take care of this once and for all.
:'''Sister Sage''': Consider it done, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, wow. Your skin is so oily, like hugging a McRib.
:'''Annie''': Wait, did you—Did you just... How?!
:'''Kimiko''': Speech therapy and fucking therapy therapy and so much fucking TikTok.
:'''Annie''': Well, you sure sound like you're on TikTok.
:'''Butcher''': Sixteen-hour flight and not a fucking peep.
:'''Kimiko''': 'Cause all you can say is &quot;Oi, oi, oi. Cunt, cunt, cunt&quot;.
:'''Butcher''': I liked her better with her mouth shut.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Annie''': Took you long enough. Slowing down in your old age?
:'''A-Train''': ''[laughs and hugs Annie]'' Fuck you, [[w:Killing of JonBenét Ramsey|JonBenét]].
:'''Kimiko''': You guys are friends?
:'''A-Train''': You talk?
:'''Kimiko''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Annie''': Reggie's been helping us out for a while.
:'''A-Train''': ''[takes drink from Annie]'' Thanks. Where is everybody? ''[pause]'' I heard about the Pittsburgh raid last month. Go Marie Moreau. How's her team doing?
:'''Annie''': Yeah, they're scoring a few wins, but not nearly enough.
:'''A-Train''': So, what's with the 911?
:'''Annie''': Hughie, M.M. and Frenchie are gonna be executed tomorrow, so we need your help to break them out.
:'''A-Train''': Of a Vought prison camp? You're fucking crazy.
:'''Annie''': Listen, you don't have to fight, okay? We just need you to run them to the extraction point. It's easy.
:'''A-Train''': Easy. Right. You know Homelander's gonna be waiting. I can't.
:'''Annie''': We know how to kill him, okay? But we need Frenchie to do it.
:'''A-Train''': Great. Well, good luck with that.
:'''Annie''': Hey, are you gonna keep running forever? I mean, if we're gonna really take him out, we need your help.
:'''A-Train''': So what, I'm just supposed to join this little fucking supergroup?
:'''Annie''': I mean, we are down one asshоlе, so… Yeah, maybe.
:'''A-Train''': ''[pause]'' No.
:'''Annie''': Why not?
:'''A-Train''': I said I can't.
:'''Annie''': I know you're scared…
:'''A-Train''': No, I'm not fucking scared! I got a family to protect. ''[Annie sighs]'' I can't.
:'''Annie''': I get it, I do. Me, too. ''[pause]'' Keep them safe.
:''[Annie and Kimiko watch A-Train run off]''
:'''Kimiko''': We shouldn't have let him go.
:'''Annie''': No. Homelander fuckеd him up. Fuckеd me up, too. We're gonna need an Exit Plan B.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk go over their escape plan]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so we hit the east gate.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Oui'', Petit Hughie, when the guards change shift.
:'''Hughie''': And we go at dawn.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We've been through this.
:'''Hughie''': I know. I just wanna go over it a few more times just so I can get it in my head.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hughie… ''[holds out moonshine jar]'' Take a fuckin' drink, will you?
:'''Hughie''': No, thanks.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shrugs; to Frenchie]'' ''Mon ami?''
:'''Frenchie''': You know I quit.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Leave it up to you to have your shit the tightest you've ever had it in a fuckin' internment camp.
:'''Frenchie''': Yeah, what about you? Have you been eating the fresh produce I smuggle in?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Moonshine's got corn in it. ''[takes a sip of moonshine]''
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Hughie]'' Hey… Don't worry. Annie will be fine. She's strong.
:'''Hughie''': ''[takes liquor bottle from Frenchie]'' Kimiko, too. 
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Y'all mοthеrfuckеrs are trippin'. Y'all don't know what the fuck's going on with them. ''[to Frenchie]'' Hey, you don't even know where Kimiko's at.
:'''Hughie''': What, so you don't think you're gonna see Janine and Monique again? Is that it?
:'''Mother's Milk''': What I know is that they're a shit ton safer without me making a mess out of their lives.
:'''Hughie''': M.M., you're the strongest guy I know. We've been in tougher spots than this.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, I did two tours in the 3/8 in Farah Province. The shit I saw would ''fuck you up''. And even that was ''Emily in Paris'' compared to the shit that we looking at here. And even if we make it outta here, we ain't surviving this fuckin' war. We are dead men walking. Chin-chin, mοthеrfuckеrs.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie is shocked to see all of his prison bunkmates brutally murdered in their bunker. He sees Homelander sitting on his bed reading from his journal.]''
:'''Homelander''': &quot;Well, Annie, today marks two months. It's a little insane how much I miss you. I've been having trouble eating. Every day, I see people giving up, but not me. Because I have you.&quot; It's very, very sweet.
:'''Hughie''': They were innocent.
:'''Homelander''': Oh… ''[looks briefly at one of the corpses]'' Well, I'd hardly call them innocent. They lied to me. Played dumb about your little stash in the wall there. We've known about that for quite some time, but I just wanted to give you a little hope.
:'''Hughie''': You're not the one who gave it to me, asshоlе.
:'''Homelander''': Ooh, I like Internment Camp Hughie. She's zesty.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck you. Do it.
:'''Homelander''': What?
:'''Hughie''': Kill me.
:'''Homelander''': Not until we flush out Butcher and Starlight.
:'''Hughie''': You think they're dumb enough to just walk right into your trap?
:'''Homelander''': Let's not insult each other. We both know they're coming. ''[throws the journal at Hughie's feet]'' Do you remember when we first met?
:'''Hughie''': How could I forget? 
:'''Homelander''': Believe Festival. I tried to cleanse your soul. I remember thinking... ''[sighs]'' &quot;Why him?&quot; What does Starlight see in this gangly simp that reeks of fear and Strawberry Smoothie kids' shampoo? You know, William and Victoria Neuman love you, too. I mean, I get it from your perspective. You're punching up. Good for you. But why are they so hopelessly devoted to such staggering mediocrity? Why would Starlight and Butcher piss away their lives to try and rescue you?
:'''Hughie''': Because I'd do it for them.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher and Kimiko find Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk tied up and gagged by Homelander when they break into the Vought internment camp]''
:'''Hughie''': Butcher?! Oh, fuck.
:'''Homelander''': ''[waves]'' Surprise. Welcome, William. ''[to Kimiko]'' And you. The gang is almost all here. Oh, and uh, ''[looks down at Mother's Milk]'' you never told me that this one's nickname is... Mother's Milk. ''[licks his lips; laughs]'' Okay. So, what's the big plan? What, are you gonna sandbag me with the Godolkin virus? ''[Butcher looks shocked]'' Yes. I know all about it.
:'''Kimiko''': Suck my fat dіck!
:''[Homelander lasers Kimiko in half. The top half of her body falls to the floor.]''
:'''Homelander''': Hey, where's Starlight? Just doesn't feel like a party without my little lightning bug here... ''[pause; stares at Butcher]'' Jesus Christ, William. You've got a viper's nest in there. I'd heard about it, of course. But seeing it for myself, it's uh… it–it's incredible. I mean, it's fucking disgusting of course, but it's–it's beautiful. What you've done to yourself, what you've become… and you did all that for me? ''[pause]'' Now that… ''that'' is devotion. You know, William, I know we're not exactly equals, but I'm compelled to say… you are the only one that's ever challenged me. And there's a part of me that will be sad to see you go.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A-Train gets badly injured while being chased by Homelander, who eventually catches up to him]''
:'''Homelander''': Looks like someone ''can'' catch the A-Train after all. End of the road, buddy boy.
:''[A-Train starts laughing at Homelander as he gets back up]''
:'''Homelander''': What's so funny?
:'''A-Train''': What was I so afraid of? You are… fucking nothing.
:'''Homelander''': Really?
:''[Homelander lifts A-Train and pins him against a tree]''
:'''A-Train''': ''[grunts]'' Really. You're just an empty fucking suit. Take away these powers… and what are you, huh? A pathetic… weak… sniveling fucking loser.
:''[Homelander wraps his hand around A-Train's neck and slowly chokes him. A-Train continues laughing until Homelander snaps his neck, killing him instantly.]''

==''&quot;Teenage Kix&quot;'' [5.02]==
:'''Oh Father''': We fight hellfire with holy fire! We fight with the ballot box! We fight with the ammo box! Matthew 10:34 — &quot;I do not come to bring the peace, but a sword&quot;! You are not here to be blessed, you are here to do war!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Goddammit, A-Train. It didn't need to come to this. I don't know, you left me no choice! I know that my leadership style can be stern, but it was for your own good! I like to think of myself as the big brother that you never had. You remember that girlfriend you had? Uh... Pop... Popfang. Betrayed us both, to William Butcher, no less. Huge mess, your fault. What did I do? ''What did I do?'' I gave you a chance to make things right, I reached out my hand... and you bit it! What did I ever do to deserve that? What, was I too nurturing? Too forgiving? Well, maybe. But dammit, you weren't like the others: Snakes, backstabbers. I could count on you, man. I ''did'' count on you. I loved you... but here we are. Why does this keep happening to me? I guess the strongest men are the most alone. You wouldn't understand. Nobody does.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander releases Soldier Boy from his cryogenic chamber at Vought Tower. Soldier Boy wakes up the next morning in Homelander's bedroom.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no. It's okay. It's okay, I don't wanna hurt you. You're safe, okay? You've been in deep freeze again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, Jesus Christ. For how long?
:'''Homelander''': Almost two years in a CIA black site. I just found out this morning.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You found out this morning?
:'''Homelander''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But that just happens to be in your room? ''[pause]'' Did you fuck me?
:'''Homelander''': ''[legitimately confused]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this some kind of incest thing?
:'''Homelander''': No!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Then, what the fuck is this?
:'''Homelander''': ''[stammers]'' Look, I... I want you to find William Butcher.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Find him yourself.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the people that work for me are limited. And you are the best tracker there is. I just–I need you to find him and report back. Very simple.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You want me… to work for you?
:'''Homelander''': Well, why don't we say &quot;work ''with'' me&quot;? And... I can help you. I can give you a proper comeback.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need you for that.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the whole world does think that you're a Russian spy, so…
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[takes a deep breath]'' Okay. Alright, listen to me. I'm no ass-felching Commie. You got that?!
:'''Homelander''': I know, I know. And listen, I am Vought now. Me. So, the public, they're gonna believe that you are whatever I tell them you are. I can resurrect you. I can give you back what you lost. I can even make you number two in The Seven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Number two? ''[Homelander nods]'' Or how about I finish the job, and blast you to Kingdom Fuck.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, you could try. Who knows, you might even fry the V right out of my blood. Or you might not. But I'm betting that you hate William Butcher more than you hate... me. After all, I'm–I'm not the one that betrayed you, am I?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I tried to kill you. The minute I turn my back, how do I know you won't return the favor?
:'''Homelander''': Look... 
:''[Homelander picks up Soldier Boy's shield and gives it to him]''
:'''Homelander''': You find William Butcher for me… all is forgiven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat; looks at the shield]'' Looks like a fuckin' kindergarten ashtray. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Soldier Boy, ''[points at Calhoun and Ashley]'' this is the President, Vice President of the United States of America. They work for me. Everyone, Soldier Boy is gonna be number two in The Seven once he has located William Butcher and Annie January.
:'''The Deep''': What? Wait–Wait, what, sir? No, sir. I... I can do this. I can bring them in.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, like you did with A-Train? We're going in a new direction, Deep. Competence. ''[to Calhoun]'' Oh, and Steve, Soldier Boy's gonna need a full pardon.
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, he–he was guilty of... you know, treason. ''[pause; Homelander just stares at him]'' Consider it done, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific. And you know what? I'm sure the man's dying for a drink. Uh, Steve, can you make him a…
:'''Soldier Boy''': Manhattan.
:'''Homelander''': Manhattan. Thanks, Steve.
:'''Calhoun''': Of course. Can I get you a glass of milk, sir?
:'''Homelander''': ''[sternly]'' No. Steven… I'll also have a Manhattan.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goddamn. Since when could Supes teabag the President?
:'''Homelander''': Since me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Hughie looking despondent on their way back to the Teenage Kix mansion]''
:'''Butcher''': Oi, fuckin' smile, Hughie. I mean, ain't you a little glad A-Train's dead?
:'''Hughie''': …No, I'm not glad he's dead. A-Train did a lot of horrible things, but he saved our lives, and he died a hero. A real hero. There are a lot of other Supes that don't deserve to die either.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, I know you just done a year in the gulag. You've earned your seat at the table, so... I'll give it to ya straight. You gotta knock this wet, gaping pussy shite on the head, mate. Ain't doin' no one no favours. Especially your girl. I mean, that's why she's givin' you the cold shoulder.
:'''Hughie''': Don't talk to me about Annie. You don't know what's going on with her.
:'''Butcher''': Well, I know that she finally knows the fuckin' score. And she knows that you poncin' about with this Jiminy Cricket, &quot;listen to your heart&quot; bollocks is just gonna get her killed.
:'''Hughie''': Is there any part of you left that's still human? ''[pause]'' You're gonna get Annie killed, not me… but I won't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Noted.
:''[A shield suddenly pierces the windshield of the Boys' truck. Hughie catches the virus vial right as they crash into another vehicle.]''
:'''Hughie''': Fuck!
:'''Kimiko''': Hughie, the vial!
:'''Hughie''': It's good. ''[stares at the shield]'' Wait, is that...?
:''[They see Soldier Boy walking up the street towards them]''
:'''Butcher''': Well, well, well.
:'''Kimiko''': He's dead, right? He's supposed to be dead?
:'''Butcher''': Supposed to be. Mallory put him in ice for a bit.
:'''Hughie''': ''[slowly turns to face Butcher]'' You're telling us this ''now?''
:'''Butcher''': Somebody up there likes us, mate.
:'''Hughie''': In what fucking way?!
:'''Butcher''': Well, we wanted a guinea pig. Who better than Homelander's old man? New plan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Butcher''': Oi. Ain't you supposed to be a giant ice dіldо?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Aren't you supposed to be smart? Renting a truck under the name &quot;Don T. Beakunt.&quot; Same alias when we headed to Herogasm.
:'''Butcher''': Well, oldie, but a goodie.
:''[Soldier Boy sees Hughie and Kimiko get out of the truck and run away]'' 
:'''Butcher''': No, mate. Just you and me.
:''[Soldier Boy shoots Butcher three times, but to no avail. Butcher, still standing, looks down at his chest then looks back up at Soldier Boy.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess it's true. You're one of us now.
:'''Butcher''': Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Then fuckin' beat 'em.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Being super is not gonna save you.
:'''Butcher''': That don't stop us helpin' each other. Homelander's double the cunt now, if that's even possible. He needs doin' more than ever. You still fancy his seat on The Seven, don't ya?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Fuck you! We had a deal! I held up my end of the bargain, and you sold me out. Put me back in a fucking box! And for what? 'Cause I was gonna kill some dumb kid?
:'''Butcher''': That kid is your grandson.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, was it worth it? You feeling good about that call right about now? Where is that fucking brat?
:'''Butcher''': Homelander's the one fuckin' you over, mate. Or did he mention that we've got an uber virus strong enough to kill every fuckin' Supe on the planet?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Bullshit.
:'''Butcher''': God's honest. The things this virus can do... ''Fuckin' diabolical.'' Why d'you think he sent you here instead of coming himself, hmm? You're the sacrificial cunt. Again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess we'll see.
:'''Butcher''': You don't get it, do ya? Me, Homelander, your old crew–Everyone fucks you over. Do you wanna know why? 'Cause you... are a dumb fuckin' twat.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hughie Campbell. How is a useless cock-gobbler like you still alive?
:'''Hughie''': All your jokes are about dudes blowing dudes. You're kind of obsessed!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this the virus he was going on about? The so-called &quot;Supe Killer&quot;? Well, not today, you semen-swilling butt pirate.
:'''Hughie''': What?

==''&quot;Every One of You Sons of Bitches&quot;'' [5.03]==
:''[Homelander has a psychotic breakdown and hallucinates Madelyn Stillwell appearing to him as an angel]''
:'''Homelander''': Madelyn...!
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, my boy! My sweet boy... What is wrong? Why are you unhappy?
:'''Homelander''': My father and my son! Everything, it's all falling apart!
:'''Madelyn''': No! No, it's exactly what needed to happen. Yes, it's been foretold! You're about to ascend. Become immortal. Divine. A true god with the love of the world.
:'''Homelander''': But–
:'''Madelyn''': I know, you think love is weak and human. But who is more loved than Jesus? And why should he have more love than you? You save more people than he does. The one, true god...
:'''Homelander''': Yes... But how? How? Millions of people just hate me...
:'''Madelyn''': Well, then you baptize the unfaithful in their own blood. Rip babies from their mothers' wombs.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': Skin parents in front of their children. Rid the world of the wicked.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': The nonbelievers...
:'''Homelander''': They'll call me a monster...
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, the only ones left will be your faithful. And they will love you in their hearts. They'll cry happy tears at the mere thought of you. You have one last task, my love.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Homelander?
:'''Homelander''': Up here.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What do you– ''[sees Homelander taking a bath]'' What in the fuck? Is that milk?
:'''Homelander''': Better. Breastmilk from the NICU at Mount Sinai.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So, what? You asked me up here so I could watch you swim in tit jizz?
:'''Homelander''': I wanna give you another chance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You wanna give ''me'' another chance?
:'''Homelander''': Yes. Help me find that V1.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd rather fist myself with a handful of razors. Besides, Cleopatra Jones said there's no V1 to find.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, there most certainly is. And I am going to find it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah? What makes you so sure?
:'''Homelander''': ''[smiling]'' An angel told me. It's my destiny.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Just when I thought there was a ceiling to how fuckin' weird you could get.
:'''Homelander''': Yes, yes. Make your jokes. You've been blessed with immortality, and what have you done with it? Drink and fuck yourself numb. You... You are a disappointment. You see... ''[stands up and gets out of the tub]'' I am not gonna waste my immortality. I am gonna take what's rightfully mine. I'm asking you if you want a seat at the table because you're my father. But with or without you... a reckoning is coming.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' You know, all I see is a freak. A freak with a bushel of gray pubes. Try some Just for Men.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher takes Ryan to a pub to discuss his plan to kill Homelander with the Supe virus]''
:'''Butcher''': All you do is get him on the blower and tell him you wanna see him. When he rocks up, you chuck the shit in his face... and that'll be it.
:'''Ryan''': Why me?
:'''Butcher''': 'Cause he won't leave the fortress of cuntitude for anyone else.
:'''Ryan''': So this is what you wanted to talk to me about. Killing my dad.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, mate–
:'''Ryan''': Is that all you think I'm good for?
:'''Butcher''': I ain't gonna treat you like a kid no more, alright? You're done with that. Homelander raped your mum. He's gonna burn everything down, and you are the only one who can stop him. Now... Normally, I don't put no stock in any of that bollocks about destiny, but if anyone's got one, it's you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause; sighs]'' I throw this virus at him... what'll happen to me?
:'''Butcher''': You'll die. I'll be close by and we'll go together. Now... I ain't gonna lie to you. This… this is not what your mum wanted… But it's the only way. And it will be justice.
:'''Ryan''': You're asking me to kill myself?
:'''Butcher''': You wouldn't be the first lad to throw his life away in a war... but you would be the first to save the world doin' it. ''[beat; sighs heavily]'' I'll fetch us a pint.
:''[Later, Butcher returns with a pint of beer]''
:'''Butcher''': Here. Told her you were 30. ''[Ryan chuckles]'' Fuck the leather, fuck the lace, here's to the bird who sits on yer face. ''[takes a long sip of beer]''
:'''Ryan''': Where'd you pick that up?
:'''Butcher''': Me old man.
:'''Ryan''': You two close?
:'''Butcher''': Nah, not really. He was a... a piss artist. Used to lose all his money on the gee-gees–horses–and then, he'd come home, beat the livin' daylights outta Len and me. And then later, laugh about it with his mates. Yeah, he was a right cunt.
:'''Ryan''': Where is he now?
:'''Butcher''': Bottom of the Thames. I put him there, just the other day. Only wish I'd done it sooner, before he caused more... more damage.
:'''Ryan''': Butcher... Do you think that I could ever... That I might turn into my dad?
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know.
:'''Ryan''': ''[sighs]'' My mom... Aunt Grace... the others... All I do is hurt people. I can't be around anyone.
:'''Butcher''': Without us–without Supes–the world is a better, safer place.
:'''Ryan''': ''[beat]'' I'll do it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Edgar ''': You're fighting an unbeatable foe. You know that, right?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Who? Vought?
:'''Edgar''': Please. It's more powerful than Vought. Or Homelander. More powerful than nature or life itself. It's profit and loss; supply and demand; the elegant flow of currency across the globe. We're just cogs in a great machine, and we all have our part to play. Say you kill Soldier Boy, or Homelander, or even release this virus. When superheroes go out of fashion, something else will just take their place. Because corporations must still grow. Money must still be made. The machine must still be fed. That is the way of the world.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Motherfucker. When this is all over... you're aiming to run Vought again, ain't you?
:'''Edgar''': Like I said. We all have our part to play.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[pause]'' If that day ever comes... I have a part to play, too. And that's to put a bullet in your fuckin' skull.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy and Firecracker are on her TruthBomb talkshow set preparing for their interview together]''
:'''Firecracker''': It's an honor to have a great American like yourself on the show. I guess it runs in the family, huh? Homelander's father… Dang.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks at the gun at Firecracker's hip]'' Glock, huh? Never saw the appeal in foreign-made guns.
:'''Firecracker''': Well, this ain't your granddaddy's Glock. This here's a 9mm Gen 5, seven-round capacity with a crisp fuckin' break.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, mine's a much longer barrel. ''[takes out his pistol]'' Battle-proven, all-American Colt 1911 chambered in .45 ACP. ''[cocks pistol]'' That'll blow your fuckin' panties off. Now, that little Glock–That's good for a late-night Harlem stroll, but uh, this here? That's a certified Kraut killer.
:'''Firecracker''': I think you mean an antique.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean a classic. You wanna give it a try? ''[Firecracker examines the pistol]'' Now, some can't handle the kick, but something tells me you'll do just fine.
:''[Cut to Soldier Boy and Firecracker in bed together after having sex]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Whew. Well, I gotta hand it to you. I haven't fuckеd that hard since... since I railed Shari Lewis on the balcony of Studio 54.
:'''Firecracker''': I ain't got no idea who that is.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well... Hey, why the hairless pussy?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[gives Soldier Boy a disgusted look]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean, what's the point of going down there if you're not gonna get a fat face full of fur? Is that how Homelander likes you? Like a baby?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' More like a mother.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But you two have fuckеd, right?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[shakes her head]'' Mm-mm.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Damn. I gotta admit, I was kinda just doing this as petty revenge against the freak.
:'''Firecracker''': That's terrible. Who would do such a thing? And you shouldn't say that about your son.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Ah, he thinks he's better than me.
:'''Firecracker''': He doesn't.
:'''Soldier Boy''': How do you know?
:'''Firecracker''': I don't know much, but I can read people. And the way he looks at you? Shoot. I ain't never seen him look at nobody like that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Uh, that's not exactly a compliment, doll. He is the strangest mοthеrfuckеr I've ever known, and I've had a threesome with Gary Busey.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ryan and Homelander meet up at the now-abandoned VoughtLand building]''
:'''Ryan''': Do you remember when you took me here? Pretended to care about me?
:'''Homelander''': I ''do'' care about you, son. I love you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause]'' I need to ask you–
:'''Homelander''': For my forgiveness? You already have it.
:'''Ryan''': What?
:'''Homelander''': Okay, let me finish. I put too much pressure on you to fill my boots. And–And I realize now that, uh... Well, that–that was impossible. But I do have some pretty exciting news. I am going to live forever now. I'll realize my own legacy. And you... ''[scoffs]'' you're off the hook. You can do whatever–
:'''Ryan''': Did you do it? Did you rapе my mom?
:'''Homelander''': What?! Of course not. Who told you–Did William Butcher tell you that? Your mother and I, we had an affair. A consensual affair between two adults.
:'''Ryan''': Your heart's racing.
:'''Homelander''': Well, yeah, because I'm shocked. And–And frankly, my heart's breaking a little bit that you could think I would do something like that.
:''[Ryan lasers Homelander, leaving a visible wound near his chest]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan... Ryan, stop!
:''[Ryan lunges at Homelander and shoves him against the wall. Homelander ducks below Ryan's fist to avoid getting punched by him.]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan! I don't know where this is coming from, because your mother… ''She'' came on to ''me.''
:''[Ryan punches Homelander twice and tries to laser him again. Homelander quickly dodges him again.]''
:'''Homelander''': ''Ryan!'' Son... ''[moves away to avoid another punch]'' Ryan! Ryan, buddy... Look what came out of it: My son! A blessing! ''[Ryan attacks him again]'' Hey, hey! Stop!
:''[Ryan readies another laser, which gets redirected when Homelander grabs his face. He punches Homelander in the face again, but Homelander gets the upper hand and slams Ryan several times into a box. Homelander wipes blood away from his nose as Ryan whimpers in pain.]''
:'''Homelander''': Oh, Ryan... Dammit. Look at what you made me do. ''[pause; kneels down to restrain Ryan]'' Shh... Shh, shh, shh. Hey... It's okay. My sweet, sweet boy.
:''[Homelander proceeds to punch Ryan repeatedly in the face until he is beaten nearly to death]''

==''&quot;King of Hell&quot;'' [5.04]==
:'''Homelander''': I need you for something.
:'''Firecracker''': You do?
:'''Homelander''': I have received the most wonderful message. I was visited... by an angel. And she foretold my destiny.
:'''Firecracker''': Wow. Well, praise be. And what is it?
:'''Homelander''': God.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, that is wonderful. There is no higher calling than servin' the Lord.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. Not serving the Lord. Being the Lord. I am the Messiah. I'm the savior of the world.
:'''Firecracker''': The... Messiah?
:'''Homelander''': Yes.
:''[Firecracker smiles despite her being clearly disturbed by Homelander's delusions]''
:'''Firecracker''': Um... Congrats.
:'''Homelander''': Thank you. ''[pause; Firecracker giggles nervously]'' I always knew I was special. I knew it. I suffered. I suffered so many hardships, and I... I couldn't understand why, but you... You... You always saw it, didn't you? You knew all along I was special. That is why I have chosen you to spread the word of my coming.
:'''Firecracker''': How?
:'''Homelander''': Well, we control the most powerful media apparatus on Earth. Jesus would kill for our marketing. What do you say?
:'''Firecracker''': ...Well, you know I would do anything for you, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys are hiking through the woods near Fort Harmony]''
:'''Kimiko''': It's weird. No birds or animals. It's like…
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. ''[to Mother's Milk]'' Had to park on the other side of the state, didn't ya?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Well, if the hike's too hard, why don't you try tying your boots, mοthеrfuckеr.
:''[Hughie is shocked to see a heavily decomposed corpse]''
:'''Hughie''': Oh, fuck that.
:'''Butcher''': Eh. Not really my type, son.
:'''Hughie''': Hey, how about showing a little respect?
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, Hughie's right, Butcher. You should take her out to dinner first. ''[chuckles; sighs]'' Let's see here. Based on the decomp, these bodies have been here for a while.
:'''Frenchie''': Something ripped them apart. Whatever killed those Boy Scouts might still stalk these woods.
:'''Butcher''': Let's get a move on, then. Didn't come out here to get bummed by Bigfoot.
:''[...]''
:'''Butcher''': Any sign of Super Cunt?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Could already be inside.
:'''Butcher''': Well, let's find out.
:'''Kimiko''': ''[to Hughie]'' What's wrong?
:'''Hughie''': Annie.
:'''Kimiko''': She'll come back.
:'''Hughie''': No. I almost died, but she made it all about her and she took off. I mean, last year, I got bad-touched by a shape-shifter, and she still found a way to make it about her. She can be such a fucking bitch. ''[pause; sees Kimiko looking at him in shock]'' Uh... Jesus. Sorry, I–I didn't mean for that to come out so harsh.
:''[The Boys see an entire field littered with animal carcasses]''
:'''Butcher''': ''Fuckin' hell.''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck happened here?
:'''Frenchie''': Our V'd-up beast enjoyed an amuse-bouche, perhaps?
:'''Butcher''': Well, explains why we didn't hear no animals.
:'''Kimiko''': I said that ten minutes ago.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys discover more decomposed corpses as they make their way downstairs to the lab inside Fort Harmony]''
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. They've been here a minute, haven't they?
:'''Frenchie''': Decades. Hunters... ''[pause; notices the knives embedded in the corpses]'' Look at their knives. These men, they killed each other. What if there is a monster here, but it's us?
:'''Butcher''': What the fuck are you on about, Frenchie?
:'''Frenchie''': [[w:Toxoplasma gondii|Toxoplasmosis]]. It's a parasite in cat shit. It can infect humans. Makes them react with explosive anger.
:'''Hughie''': You think we ate cat shit?
:'''Frenchie''': Ate? No... If the V1 spilled into the groundwater, it could mutate the plants. Their spores fill us with rage, we murder each other, and ''voilà''. We're plant food for these vines.
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so like [[w:The Last of Us (video game)|''The Last of Us'']]?
:'''Frenchie''': No, that is just [[w:The Walking Dead (comic book)|''The Walking Dead'']] with mushrooms. The dead campers, the animals, these hunters... Surely, you all see how strangely you've been acting.
:'''Kimiko''': Us? I've seen you blow cоcaіnе up your dіckhole.
:'''Frenchie''': Wait... You have a point. The copious amount of drug I've taken for decades has surely altered my brain chemistry. That's why I'm not affected. 
:'''Kimiko''': Guess being a junkie was good for something after all.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Romeo and fuckin' Juliet. You two survive this war, I give you six months tops.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy search the ground floor of Fort Harmony while the Boys are in the basement below looking for the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sniffs]'' Smells like deer piss. The last time I was here, I was fresh off the front lines, still picking Nazi brains out of my hair. And only the best of the best got selected for Dr. Vought's trials.
:'''Homelander''': Hmmph.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Not soft little hog-chompers.
:'''Homelander''': Of course. No, I forgot how tough you were.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hey, I'm not the weirdo who doesn't fuck. I mean, your cock's as useless as your cape. What's the point of being famous if you're not getting your dіck wet?
:'''Homelander''': Oh, my dіck was sopping wet when I pulled it out of Stormfront and wiped it on her fucking chin!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; looks down at the decomposed corpses]'' Ooh, look. More uggos. 
:'''Homelander''': Friends of yours?
:''[They unknowingly set off the motion detector that the Boys set up near the stairs]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Oh, shit. They're right above us.
:'''Butcher''': We best get the fuck outta here. Come on.
:'''Hughie''': Hey. Hey, what about the V1?
:'''Mother's Milk''': If Bombsight has the V1, then it saves us from having to torch it.
:'''Hughie''': What are you talking about? Who's &quot;us&quot;?
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' What? You think the world needs more immortal cunts, do ya?
:'''Hughie''': We need it to save Annie and Kimiko! You've been planning this this whole time, haven't you?!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh. Homelander will hear us.
:'''Hughie''': ''[to Mother's Milk]'' And you, you've just been going along with it again.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We can't take the risk, Hughie. And if she has to be collateral damage so that Homelander dies and my daughter lives, we ain't got no fucking choice!
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, easy for you to say. It won't fucking kill you!
:'''Butcher''': Well, at least he knows when to keep his gob shut and do as he's fuckin' told!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Excuse me?
:'''Frenchie''': No, no, no. We don't have time for this. We need to find a way out now.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Wanna know a little secret, Butcher? I ''cheered'' when I found out that you were dying, 'cause at least we'd finally be done with your miserable ass.
:'''Hughie''': You know, I used to say to these guys, &quot;Don't give up on Butcher. There's good in him fighting to get out.&quot; I was wrong. If there was ''anything'' human in there, it's dead. Underneath that chestful of octo-cocks, you are just a fucking monster.
:'''Butcher''': Well, maybe I like it better that way.
:'''Hughie''': That parasite's not just in you. It ''is'' you. ''You're'' the cancer!
:'''Frenchie''': ''Lower your voices.''
:'''Hughie''': You are just as bad as Homelander, maybe worse. And I'm not gonna let you drag us all down with you.
:'''Butcher''': And whatcha gonna do about it?
:'''Hughie''': I'll fucking kill you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': ''[chuckles]'' Tough guy, my ass.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What?
:'''Homelander''': You, your whole bit. This whole &quot;guts and glory&quot; thing. What a fucking joke. I read your classified file. Your brother won a Silver Star for bravery at [[w:Battle of Anzio|Anzio]], and that's what made you beg your father to buy you a spot in Dr. Vought's trials. Because it killed you to see your brother dripping in all that glory, making you look all the more feeble in comparison.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't know shit about me.
:'''Homelander''': Really? I know that when they tried to inject you with the V, you were so fucking petrified that they had to strap you to the table. And you pissed yourself, crying for your mommy like the whiny, spoiled little rich boy that you are. They gave you the world, and you? You deserve ''nothing.''
:''[Soldier Boy stands by as Homelander walks into a small chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Oh, Christ. What's this shithole now?
:''[Soldier Boy shuts the door while Homelander isn't looking and turns the wheel to lock him inside the chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': What are you doing?!
:''[Soldier Boy bends the wheel with his bare hands and tears it off the door]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, well done. I'll be out of here in 30 seconds!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. Maybe not.
:''[Soldier Boy pulls down a lever to open a radioactive valve. Homelander's face immediately starts blistering from the radiation.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': It's enriched uranium. They'd stick us Supes in there to see if we could survive an atomic bomb. Now, for a normal joe, they'd be dead in minutes. But for you, it's a stomach flu. Good luck, though, getting out of a Supe-proof cell while you're bleeding out of your ass.
:''[Homelander fails to kill Soldier Boy by lasering him. He punches the glass as Soldier Boy walks off.]''
:'''Homelander''': Where are you going?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'm gonna go destroy any V1 that I find, you Triple Crown cock jockey.
:'''Homelander''': Why?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't get it, do you? How much I can't fucking stand you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Homelander trapped inside the uranium chamber]''
:'''Butcher''': ''[laughs]'' Oh, if only the world could see you now. Not so fuckin' super, are ya? You, uh... ''[points at Homelander's face]'' You got a bit of... ''[pause; Homelander coughs]'' Did your dad put you in timeout? Ooh… That's gotta sting, knowin' he'd rather spend eternity all alone than with the likes of you. What's the matter? Cunt got your tongue? Will wonders ever cease? ''[chuckles; lights cigarette]'' Tell me something. If you do get the juice in you, you think that makes you a god, don't ya? Seems like I know you pretty well after all. Which is why I know that even if you had a billion twats garglin' your bollocks and singin' &quot;Hosanna&quot;, you still wouldn't be happy. 'Cause deep down, you're just a weak, thin-skinned, needy little boy. You beat the shit outta your own son. Don't get weaker than that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs weakly while groaning in pain]'' Ryan is alive… because he's strong. 'Cause he's my son. The son of God.
:'''Butcher''': You ain't no god. How's about I go fetch the virus, and then we'll watch you shit your fuckin' spine out?
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You don't have it, do you? The virus.
:'''Butcher''': …Don't I?
:'''Homelander''': No, you don't. You would have used it by now. ''[coughs; laughs hysterically]'' You have no way to stop me, do you? Oh, William. You have no idea what you're up against. You can't intervene. I ''will'' get the V1, and when I do, I'm gonna flay you alive. You, Starlight–All the nonbelievers. You're all gonna ''fuckin' drown'' in your own blood.
:'''Butcher''': I promise you, before I die... I'll fuckin' have you. ''[walks away]''
:'''Homelander''': YOU'RE ALL FUCKING PASTE! I can take what's mine, and that makes this WHOLE FUCKING SHITBALL ''MY BIRTHRIGHT! '''MY DESTINY!'''''

==''&quot;One-Shots&quot;'' [5.05]==
:'''Firecracker''': Next up is a $500 million ad blitz with OOH, e-blasts, print and digital. Ain’t nobody won’t know about the Democratic Church of America… and its chosen prophet.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Prophets are servants.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course, sir. Great point. We’re just trying to ease people into it.
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no. We need to prepare America for my ascension. We must be honest. We must be direct. I like “savior.” Or–Or…
:'''Oh Father''': Lord. Yes, I couldn’t agree more, sir. Religion is not about being meek. We should dominate the seven mountains of society, bring the Kingdom of Heaven to Earth! Amen!
:'''Homelander''': Amen.
:'''Firecracker''': Amen! I love all that!
:'''The Deep''': So fucking dope.
:'''Oh Father''': Easter is just around the corner. How perfect would it be for your second coming to come on the day of Jesus' resurrection?
:'''Homelander''': Mmm… Second coming? Let's be clear: I am not the son of God.
:'''Oh Father''': Well, of course. Many people believe that Jesus is both God incarnate and the son.
:'''Homelander''': Well, that's just confusing. I don't want my church getting involved in all... that.
:'''Firecracker''': Exactly. Besides, if we pull up our timeline, you won't have… ''[picks up a bag with a large book inside]'' this.
:''[Firecracker kneels in front of Homelander, who accepts the book. He takes it out of the bag and sees &quot;The Homelander Bible&quot; with himself embossed on the cover.]''
:'''Oh Father''': We're gonna drag our feet because of a book?
:'''Firecracker''': Not a book. ''The'' book. The Homelander Bible.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause; lifts the book with his hands]'' Heavy.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[quietly]'' What the fuck?
:'''Firecracker''': It's got the Old Testament, the New Testament, and the brand new American Testament, written by A.I. trained on the works of Pat Robertson. See, we need to pass the torch, sir. From Jesus to you. Sir, we don't get more than one chance at a first impression. Are we really gonna rush something this important? We ain't [w:Arby's|Arby's]], after all.
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Firecracker''': We're the [[w:The Cheesecake Factory|Cheesecake Factory]].
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs deeply]'' Okay. We'll do it your way.
:'''Firecracker''': Thank you.
:'''Sister Sage''': You do realize this kind of sudden religious upheaval is likely to generate widespread civil unrest?
:'''Firecracker''': Local law should be able to handle the suburbs, but we could use extra hands in major metros.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, let's recall all Supes stationed overseas. American heroes should be protecting America, not Who-Gives-A-Fuckistan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Firecracker''': We ain't doin' that again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[chuckles]'' That's what you said the last six times.
:'''Firecracker''': No, I really mean it this time.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You seem a little out of it. Did you nut? 'Cause usually, you nut.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' Were you baptized?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah, in front of half of Chestnut Hill. Governor Sproul did the honors. My family kept up appearances, of course. Then, we never set foot in church again.
:'''Firecracker''': I had lunch today with the reverend who baptized me. He's been gettin' heat to switch over to our church. You think Homelander might be open to going easy on him? Just... give him a little more time? I wouldn't ask if it was just anybody, but that man practically raised me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So you didn't nut. You know, this whole Homelander as God shit, it's... it's fucking ridiculous.
:'''Firecracker''': Really? You think so?
:'''Soldier Boy''': If he's the second coming, then what does that make me? Joseph? I mean, talk about the biggest cuck in history. Man trades his best cow to bag some hot-ass virgin, and then God comes and squirts his baby gravy up her meat wallet. Fuck that.
:'''Firecracker''': I guess I've been struggling with where to place Homelander in my heart in relation to Jesus and the Lord.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course I worship Homelander. I mean, he's always been a god to me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Look, I'll tell you this. If there is a God... sure as hell didn't come out of my balls. I gotta go.
:'''Firecracker''': Where you off to?
:'''Soldier Boy''': L.A… ''[snickers]'' I fucking hate L.A.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker is filming her new episode of TruthBomb and starts reading her opening monologue from a teleprompter]''
:'''Firecracker''': Welcome to ''Truthbomb''. Our top story tonight's a personal one. It's the story of my hometown church, Holy Baptist of Daytona. It was the church I grew up in. Sang my hymns from the pews there every Sunday. But that church... That church…
:''[The teleprompter stops scrolling]''
:'''Firecracker''': ''[beat]'' That church... has become a hotbed of Starlighter infestation. And my old pastor, Reverend Greg Dupree, has been infected by Starlight's seditious propaganda. Now... I never told a soul this, but when I was a little girl, the reverend regularly had me over for supper. Alone. ''[pause; chuckles]'' No. Nothing ever happened to me, but... ''[sighs]'' I heard stories about his &quot;Fish Fry Fridays.&quot; And if that ain't code for child groomin', I don't know what is. How much longer are we gonna let these institutional pedo churches diddle our babies? Americans deserve better. They deserve... Homelander. They deserve the Democratic Church of America. ''[starts crying]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Would you like some knee pads?
:'''The Deep''': Sorry, what?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're looking at me like you wanna suck my hog. So I'm asking you if you would like some knee pads.
:'''Homelander''': Go easy on the little guy. He brought me Stan Edgar.
:'''The Deep''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Homelander''': You may leave.
:''[Soldier Boy stays behind with Homelander in the conference room as the rest of The Seven leave]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What crawled up your shithole?
:'''Homelander''': No idea what you mean.
:'''Soldier Boy''': When you're pissy, you tend to make everybody else's lives pissy too. Stan Edgar still stonewalling you?
:'''Homelander''': I've talked to him three times now. Says he has no idea where the V1 is. Heart rate steady as a rock. I'm starting to believe him.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That slippery fuck used to fetch my cоcaіnе. ''[pause]'' You know what? I have an idea. Why don't I take a crack at him? ''[Homelander stares at him]'' What, you don't trust me?
:'''Homelander''': Well, you did lock me in a room with nuclear material and tried to stop me getting the V1, so I'm sure you can understand my hesitance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You could've killed me at Fort Harmony, but you didn't. Maybe I feel like I owe you.
:'''Homelander''': Or maybe you're lying.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. ''[inhales deeply]'' Give me an hour. I'll meet you at Edgar's cell.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hughie''': If you and M.M. still think–
:'''Butcher''': Oh, for fuck's sakes, Hughie. Knock it off with this V1 shite! You're doin' me fuckin' head in! ''[sees his dog Terror eating out of the trash]'' Oi, Terror. Cut it out. Come on. ''[to Hughie]'' Now, listen. If we do find that stuff, we're not makin' any fuckin' vaccines out of it, alright? We're not the department of fuckin' health. We burn that shit before Homelander gets his paws on it, and that's that.
:'''Hughie''': Well, if you wanna kill yourself, knock yourself out, but why do you have to decide for the rest of us?
:'''Butcher''': Oh, 'cause I'm fuckin' right! 'Cause I've always been right! I've been tellin' you lot from the fuckin' start the sky is fallin', and guess what? The sky fuckin' fell.
:'''Hughie''': Well, you kinda helped bring it down.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, don't give me that bollocks. Listen, Homelander thinks he's a fuckin' god. Once he becomes immortal, he's gonna start killin' like one, and we are talkin' millions of people. Now, are you tellin' me you're honestly happy to risk all of that for a life on the run with your girl, knowin' that you could've stopped it? You can live with that, can ya?
:'''Hughie''': What if it was Becca? You'd just let her die?
:'''Butcher''': …I ''did'' let her die.
:'''Hughie''': Look… I know that Homelander comes first. I really do. All I'm asking is that we try. Annie and Kimiko deserve that much.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mister Marathon and Malchemical try to convince Soldier Boy to kill Homelander while he is unconscious]''
:'''Mister Marathon''': Hey, man, we don't have a problem with you. Honest, ''[stutters]'' but–but fuck this fucking guy. You know, he fuckеd my life. Look, if you help us get rid of him, then we all win, and you–you can have The Seven. And I don't even, like, really care if you bring me back or whatever.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need to kill him to get The Seven.
:'''Mister Marathon''': No. Yeah, of course not, but what about all that creepy shit he's doing with that church? I mean, they're rounding up everybody cool. All the hοοkers, the drug dealers.
:'''Malchemical''': They wanna ban pοrn. I mean, they wanna ban fucking abortions!
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay, well, banning abortion would be a big problem for me personally.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Exactly, for all of us. So, if we kill him, we can stop worrying about being cops or gods or asexual weirdos. You know, we can go back to fucking and–and being fucking awesome!
:'''Malchemical''': Look, we know you've got that fucked-up chest blast thing. I mean, I was at Herogasm. I saw it.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Just finish him now. Take away his powers, so we can curb stomp him while we have the chance. 
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' He is a fucking asexual weirdo.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Malchemical''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But as much as it pains me to say this, he's ''my'' fucking asexual weirdo. Nobody fucks my son but me.
:'''Mister Marathon''': What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …That came out wrong.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker sees Homelander sitting on the couch in the Seven common room]''
:'''Firecracker''': Homelander… How was L.A.? Did you catch tonight's ''Truthbomb?''
:'''Homelander''': I did indeed. And it was a real barn-burner. Well done.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[smiles]'' Thank you, sir. That means the world.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' How's sеx with my father? ''[Firecracker's smile disappears]'' Is he good at it? Are you thinking about me when you're making love to him?
:'''Firecracker''': I never meant to cross a line or offend you in...
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Don't fret, little one. I don't care about the sеx, really. But I ''do'' care about your little chats after sеx.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, whatever Soldier Boy told you, I can assure you that I...
:'''Homelander''': You mean your inner turmoil when it comes to me and, uh, Jesus? Are you thinking of Jesus when you're praising me?
:'''Firecracker''': No, you are my one and only savior.
:'''Homelander''': You say that, but your jagged little heart is whirring like a hummingbird. ''[sighs; gets up from the couch]'' You're supposed to worship me, love me and me alone.
:'''Firecracker''': I do.
:'''Homelander''': I believed in you. Turns out, you don't believe in me. ''[pause]'' I need you to collect your things and leave.
:'''Firecracker''': But I ''do'' believe in you. I love you! I am the only one here who ever has! I gave you ''everything!'' I gave you my soul! Everybody else here, they're just... They're just scared of you. Or they want something from you, but I have always loved you for you. Just the strongest, smartest, best man on Earth.
:'''Homelander''': ''[scoffs]'' Man?
:'''Firecracker''': No, no, no, no, no. A god. No. No, ''the'' God. My Lord, that look you used to get when you'd suckle me? I felt like Mother Mary herself. I felt blessed to nourish someone as important as you. ''[pause; Homelander sighs]'' But nothing I ever did was good enough, was it? You cast me out into the cold, which was so much worse than never feeling your warmth in the first place. So all I have been tryin' to do is to get you to see me the way that you used to. Hell, only reason I was with Soldier Boy was that your reflected light is better than no light at all. Please, sir. I love you. We all need love, don't we? Even God.
:''[Homelander reaches his hand out to touch Firecracker's cheek, then kills her by impaling her head on the left wing of an eagle statue]''

==''&quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;'' [5.06]==
:''[Hughie and Annie are laying down on the hood of his car looking at clouds together]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so that one?
:'''Annie''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Hughie''': It’s like a rabbit, but it’s got way too many feet.
:'''Annie''': Really? I see a frog eating a dick. This is definitely in my top five.
:'''Hughie''': Top five what?
:'''Annie''': Things to do with you.
:'''Hughie''':  You’re saying that like… this is the last time we’re gonna get to do this. Hey, listen to me. The guys are gonna find Bombsight, they’ll get the V1. You’re not dying. We will have plenty of time to look for filthy shapes in the clouds.
:'''Annie''': God, I don’t know where it comes from. This… unshakeable hope.
:'''Hughie''': Whenever I’d get upset as a kid, which was a lot… my dad would always say, “You know, son, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react.” And that was infuriating. But then, I spent a year in an internment camp, and I had no control over anything. I’d just lay there at night, just… so fucking angry, hearing my dad’s voice in my head… but then I finally understood what he meant. ‘Cause the only thing I had left was… hope. And it is ''really'' fucking hard to hang on to, but I… I’m trying.
:'''Annie''': I think… you might be low-key the strongest person I know.
:'''Hughie''': I’d prefer high-key… ''[Annie chuckles]'' but thank you.
:'''Annie''': ''[beat; points at the sky]'' Look, it’s–it’s Big Bird eating a dick.
:'''Hughie''': You see an unsettling amount of dicks up there, I’m just saying.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy look around Bombsight's empty house to find the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': You sure this is the right address?
:'''Homelander''': I'm sure.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, there's no sign of Bombsight... or fucking anyone. Maybe Crime Analytics got a bad tip.
:''[Homelander sees a laptop on the table. When he opens it up, a video of him and Stormfront having sex starts playing. He notices Soldier Boy watching along with him and closes the laptop.]'' 
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck was that?
:'''Homelander''': I can explain.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That was Clara. You told me she killed herself.
:'''Homelander''': She did, after Ryan did ''that'' to her. It's his fault.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So then what? You locked her in your apartment like some kind of amputee fuck doll...
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ...and filmed her for kicks?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no! It wasn't like that! I did... I did everything I could to keep her alive, to–to make her happy. ''[pause; Soldier Boy punches him]'' Just listen to me, okay?! It wasn't all like... that. I couldn't let her go. I didn't know how... because I loved her. And so did you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're goddamn right I loved her.
:'''Homelander''': She wouldn't want us fighting over her.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Don't fucking tell me what she would want! You knew her for five minutes; I was with her for decades! 
:'''Homelander''': Hold–Hold on. This–This is a setup. Someone's trying to separate us. This has been plan... Fucking Sage. It's Sage. You see? She's trying to screw with us. ''[Soldier Boy turns around to leave]'' Oh, come on! I can't find the V1 without you!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; turns back around]'' Good. You don't deserve to live forever.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher tries to call Bombsight using one of his old phone numbers, but gets a fax machine instead]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': That a fuckin’ fax machine?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, it’s the last of the numbers she had for him. ''[to Golden Geisha]'' Oi. Twenty-three fuckin' numbers you had for Bombsight, and they’re all fuckin' shite?
:'''Golden Geisha''': Do you know how to delete them? I was telling you the truth. I have no idea where Bombsight is, or how to reach him. So just let me go.
:'''Butcher''': Kimiko, keep an eye on her.
:''[Frenchie joins Butcher and M.M. on their way back to their hideout]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck do we do now?
:'''Butcher''': Fetch us some pliers and put the screws to her. She knows more than she’s lettin’ on.
:'''Frenchie''': Or she doesn’t. I’m sorry, but she’s not that good of an actress.
:''[M.M. and Frenchie draw their weapons when they see Sister Sage inside]''
:'''Sister Sage''': He’s right. ''[sarcastically]'' Ooh, I know. The villain switching sides in the final hour. What a twist, a shock that never happens. But unclench those assholes, fellas. I’m here to help. I’m a free agent now. I came alone. You can shoot me in the heart whenever you like.
:'''Butcher''': That’s a good idea. ''[takes out and cocks his gun]''
:'''Sister Sage''': That would go against our mutual interest.
:'''Butcher''': Which is?
:'''Sister Sage''': Stopping a petulant, laser-eyed narcissist from also becoming immortal. I want him dead as much as you do.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You spent the last couple of years building Homelander up, and now you wanna tear him down? Why the fuck should we trust you?
:'''Sister Sage''': You can’t trust me. Honestly, you shouldn’t, but you will.
:'''Frenchie''': And why would we do that?
:'''Sister Sage''': I know Campbell and Starlight are headed to plant your little virus. You can trace anyone, if you know what to look for. And you baboons, you leave a trail of banana peels wherever you go. I could have stopped you, I could have killed you... but I didn’t.
:'''Butcher''': That virus is gonna wipe out the fuckin’ lot of ya. And you don’t strike me as the suicide type.
:'''Sister Sage''': I will be in my nice, quiet bunker, reading [[w:Ludwig Wittgenstein|Wittgenstein]] in peace. That is, unless that bleached blonde baby gets his hands on V1 and survives. You must have realized by now Granny out there has no clue how to contact Bombsight, but I do. And I can get him here. So... let me help.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': I wanted to say... I'm very sorry about this. I watched every episode of ''Undercover Geisha'' when I was a kid. I loved it, even the parts that were ridiculous racist stereotypes. It meant so much to see someone who looked like me on TV. ''[brief pause]'' We watched with Japanese subtitles. It's how I learned English.
:'''Golden Geisha''': If you're such a big fan, let me go.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Désolé'', but we cannot. Not until we get the V1 that Bombsight possesses.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Wait, that's what you're after? V1? ''[laughs]''
:'''Kimiko''': What–What's so funny?
:'''Golden Geisha''': I'll tell Bombsight to just give it to you. I sure as hell don't want it.
:'''Kimiko''': ...He stole the V1 for you, so you two could be together forever. ''[pause]'' But you didn't take it.
:'''Golden Geisha''': ''[shakes her head]'' I said no... which is why he left. I guess, for him, watching me get old was too painful.
:'''Frenchie''': I'm sorry, I do not understand. Why won't you take it?
:'''Golden Geisha''': To live forever? It'd be torture. ''[scoffs]'' You're both so young. You wouldn't understand.
:'''Kimiko''': Maybe I would.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Summer is only beautiful when you know winter is coming.
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Kimiko]'' Is this how you feel?
:'''Kimiko''': ''[nods]'' Annie and I talked about it. We'd have to... ''[signing]'' We'd have to watch you and Hughie waste away. Neither of us wants to die, but... we don't wanna be vampires either. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Legend leads Homelander inside the Boys' hideout, which is deserted]''
:'''The Legend''': Okay, um... 
:'''Homelander''': No one here.
:'''The Legend''': I grant you, it–it looks like that, yeah. But this–this is their hideout, so I'm sure there's plenty of clues all over here. ''[picks up a receipt]'' Here you go. ''[Homelander sighs]'' Oh, no. Well, this is nothing. But, you know, they have to have left something behind, you know?
:'''Homelander''': ''[looks at the receipt; chuckles]'' Hmmph. It's not nothing.
:'''The Legend''': It's a Taco Bell receipt. 
:'''Homelander''': No, ''this is Sage!'' Taunting me! 
:'''The Legend''': Okay.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs frustratingly; sits on bed]'' This makes no sense. This makes no sense. This makes no sense! ''[chuckles]'' You said I would get the V1. You said I'd be a god. Did I do something wrong? Did I fail you? I did everything you asked me to. I gave my boy up. Please, don't leave me here to just rot. Don't just let me become ''nothing'' like ''him.'' Please…
:'''The Legend''': I gotta assume… The only reason you're saying all this stuff is, you're... You're not gonna let me walk out of here alive, are you? Yeah? Okay. Yeah. ''[pause]'' Alright, look, kid. I've been around a long time and I… This is just how it goes. You know all those old Supes at the home? Every one of them had their moments in the sun and they all thought it was gonna go on forever. And every one of them got shoved out in the end. They all got shoved out. All of them. And I know what I'm talking about; I did the shoving. I mean, look at Goldie. One minute, she's on the set of ''Undercover Geisha'', getting finger-popped by Lorenzo Lamas. The next, she's shilling for VoughtAlert necklaces and Activia poop yogurt.
:'''Homelander''': Geisha sells VoughtAlert necklaces?
:'''The Legend''': Guess you don't watch your own news channel. The point is, look, there comes a day… I got shoved out, too. Never saw it coming. Did not see that coming, and I fought it like hell. But in the end... bupkis. There is a natural order to things. And the more you fight the inevitable, the more the inevitable just… cunt-punts you. ''[pats Homelander's shoulder]'' Yep.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; gets up]'' You're not scared of me.
:'''The Legend''': No, I'm not scared of you. I… I feel for you, kid. I do. I mean, you're a fucking whackjob. But, you know, there's talent. So… No surprise there. ''[pause]'' So, there you go. Do what you gotta do.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' ...You can go.
:'''The Legend''': I–I can go?
:'''Homelander''': Leave. No words. Just go. Now. Go. ''Now.''
:'''The Legend''': Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
:''[After The Legend leaves the Boys' hideout, Homelander makes a call on his cell phone]''
:'''Operator''': How can I help you, sir? 
:'''Homelander''': I need the tracking coordinates for a VoughtAlert necklace.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Tough skin or not, I can still break your fucking neck!
:'''Bombsight''': Ben, stop. Please.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; lets Bombsight go]'' Goddammit.
:'''Bombsight''': ''[beat]'' I can't give it to you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goldie doesn't even wanna take it.
:'''Bombsight''': Then maybe someday, I'll find someone who will!
:'''Soldier Boy''': You were always gonna fuck it up with Goldie anyway. You could never hold down a girl! It was either a smack needle up your dick or— 
:'''Bombsight''': Having to stand next to you? You were everyone's favorite from the start, especially Clara. Everything they wanted us to be, everything they were working towards, they saw it in you. I fucking hated you for it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No. No, I wasn't everything Clara wanted. I didn't know how to be.
:'''Bombsight''': But you loved her. What wouldn't you give to have her back... forever?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …I really fuckin' hate you.
:'''Bombsight''': No shit.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But we don't have to kill each other. I can take away your immortality... and your powers. You won't have to live forever alone. Then, you and Goldie can spend whatever time you have left like you want.
:'''Bombsight''': Why would you do that for me?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd do it for the V1.
:''[Bombsight hands a case to Soldier Boy, who opens it to find a V1 syringe inside. The Boys hear an explosion from far away and run towards it. Cut to Bombsight looking at the wound near his shoulder.]''
:'''Bombsight''': This is the first time I've seen my blood in... I can't remember.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander finds Soldier Boy with the V1 syringe he received from Bombsight. The Boys and Sister Sage watch them from the nearby woods.]''
:'''Homelander''': Don't. I don't wanna fight you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks down at the syringe]'' You know, Clara used to say the craziest shit. That I was the strongest Supe alive, the ultimate expression of what we could be... but she was wrong. ''[pause]'' She hadn't met you yet.
:''[Soldier Boy offers the syringe to Homelander, who accepts it]''
:'''Butcher''': No.
:'''Sister Sage''': I don't understand. He wasn't supposed to... It's impossible.
:'''Homelander''': But you hate me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I love her more... and this is what she would want.
:''[Homelander lasers his left arm and injects the V1 into his wound. His eyes immediately start flickering and he kneels to the ground in pain. The Boys watch in horror as Homelander screams and shoots powerful lasers into the sky.]''
:'''Butcher''': '''''Run.'''''

==''&quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;'' [5.07]==
:''[A V1-empowered Homelander sits in President Calhoun's chair in the Oval Office. He hears a knock at the door]''
:'''Homelander''': Come in! ''[in a cheerful tone, as Ashley and Calhoun enter]'' Hello, you two. Isn't it a beautiful day?
:'''Calhoun''': ''[nervously]'' You're welcome to use this office as long as you need. 
:'''Homelander''': I know. Let's get right to it! While Oh Father is hard at work on my divine unveiling, I have a few action items I need you to handle.
:'''Ashley''': Of course. Anything, sir.
:'''Homelander''': The Democratic Church of America is to be the ''official'' national religion, based around the one true god: Me. 
:'''Calhoun''': Great idea.
:'''Homelander''': I want every boundary between church and state dissolved. I want troops sent into every sanctuary city that took in Starlighters. Issue an executive order banning abortion. Also, breastfeeding is now mandatory. Babies need their mothers, not fake milk. Actually, outlaw that, too.
:'''Ashley''': Sir? 
:'''Homelander''': ''[intensely] Ban nut milk.'' The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was making you think nuts were milk. ''[snickers after a short silence]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': Those are all, uh, fantastic ideas, sir, um... I'll run them by Congress– 
:'''Homelander''': No, disband it.
:'''Calhoun''': Sorry? 
:'''Homelander''': Disband Congress. It's better for freedom. 
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, I don't really have that authority. 
:'''Homelander''': ''[frowns]'' Ashley, do me a favor. Read Steven's mind. I want to know if he's a true believer. 
:'''Calhoun''': But of... course I am, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific! Then you have nothing to worry about. ''[gets up and steps over to Ashley]'' Do it. 
:''[He rips off her wig, and she gasps and covers her face in shame as &quot;Back Ashley&quot; is revealed]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': ''[revolted]'' What the fuck is that? 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': Don't look!
:'''Homelander''': Don't make me ask again. 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': ''[stammering in fear]'' Sir, I–I... Sir, I...
:'''Ashley''': ''[sighs; steels herself and turns back to Homelander]'' He's terrified of you, sir. He thinks you're just a tiny bit psychotic.
:'''Homelander''': Steven! ''[steps towards Calhoun, glaring intensely]'' Here I am. A living god. ''[rests his hands on Calhoun's shoulders]'' Right before your eyes. And still, your faith wavers? ''[beat; Calhoun is clearly too terrified to answer]'' It's okay. No, I'm not angry. ''[clasps his head gently]'' But I ''am'' disappointed.
:''[He crushes Calhoun's head into a pulp, then wipes the blood off his hands on a sofa. An utterly terrified Ashley stares at Calhoun's body as Homelander sits back down at the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie sees Kimiko suffering from radiation exposure inside a homemade uranium chamber while Butcher and Frenchie watch]''
:'''Hughie''': What the fuck is going on in here?
:'''Kimiko''': I'm okay.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' The second she's ready, we go the next dose, alright?
:'''Hughie''': &quot;Next dose?&quot; Are you kidding?! Look at her! What are you doing?
:'''Butcher''': Plan fuckin' B, my son. If at first you don't succeed, find another hole to fuck. See, Soldier Boy's flashy tіt blast got me thinkin', he–he weren't born with that power. The Ivans gave it to him through a consistent application of scientific methodology.
:'''Frenchie''': They threw an atom bomb worth of radiation at him.
:'''Butcher''': Right. So, usin' the research we nicked from 'em a few donkeys back, me and Frenchie are doin' the same thing to Kimiko. She gets Soldier Boy's power, she tіt-blasts Homelander, bees and fuckin' honey.
:'''Hughie''': So when we kept asking what you two were up to, and you kept saying, &quot;Mind your fuckin' business, cunt,&quot; it was this?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah.
:'''Hughie''': Butcher, this is... the most insane-ass shit I ever heard. In a few weeks, you're gonna somehow do what it took the Russians over a decade?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, 'cause unlike the Ivans, we got us a livin', breathin' supercomputer bunked down in student services.
:'''Hughie''': Sage? All she does is self-medicate and binge [[w:Love Island (American TV series)|''Love Island'']]. This could fucking kill Kimiko. Frenchie…
:'''Frenchie''': No. It's not my wish.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck Butcher. Who cares what he wants?
:''[Kimiko coughs and stumbles out of the uranium chamber]'' 
:'''Kimiko''': Not Butcher. ''[panting heavily]'' Me. It's my call.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Annie''': Oh Father's up to something big at Vought Studios, but we don't know what. Could be a trap.
:'''Frenchie''': Could be.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' You stay here with Kimiko and Sage. We'll bust into the studio, nab the holy twat, stomp on his bollocks till he gives us Homelander's next move. And then I'll do the cunt and we'll call it an honest day's work, yeah?
:'''Hughie''': No. Quit acting like we're going on a milk run. It's over. ''[voice breaking]'' We lost.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' [[w:Victoria Beckham|Posh Spice]] was easily the most shit member of [[w:Spice Girls|the squad]]. Could barely sing or dance. No discernible talent whatsoever. Wasn't even featured on [[w:Wannabe|&quot;Wannabe&quot;]], but did that stop her? No. You look at her now... still married with [[w:David Beckham|Becks]]. Fifteen engagement rings, 32 ''Vogue'' covers, inducted by Prince William into the Order of the bloody British Empire. Even I doubted her move into women's apparel, but her line is a staple at Paris fuckin' Fashion Week. You see, despite her obvious disadvantages–includin' a tragic inability to smile–she never gave up, and we ain't givin' up either.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shakes his head]'' Your fuckin' pep talks.
:'''Frenchie''': Terrible.
:'''Annie''': The worst.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, bollocks. That was a fuckin' knockout.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Alone and depressed, The Deep tosses an aluminum can into the sea. A hammerhead shark appears and [[w:Samuel L. Jackson|speaks to him]]]''
:'''Xander''': Yo! You gonna get that, bro?
:'''The Deep''': Xander! ''[chuckles]'' Hey, what you doing here? So good to see you, man.
:'''Xander''': We wouldn't want a little guppy to get caught in that can, my man. Come on in, grab it. ''[swims in circles]''
:'''The Deep''': I've had such a fucked day, man. You wouldn't believe it, bro.
:'''Xander''': Yeah. Get in the water, man.
:'''The Deep''': No. You're not... You're not listening to me–
:'''Xander''': ''[angrily]'' Ah, shut the fuck up! We know you were responsible for the pipeline genocide. Remember March 15th, motherfucker!
:'''The Deep''': No... No, wait, that–That wasn't me, man!
:'''Xander''': If you step one foot, one fucking stupid-ass simian toe in the water ''ANYWHERE''—an ocean, a stream, a fucking puddle—on God, son, you're dead! We're gonna ''KILL YOU!'' You understand, you dumb motherfucker?! Water is fucking off limits to you! ''YOU ARE '''DEAD''' TO US! [swimming away]'' Bitch-ass!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy sees Homelander standing over a scale model of a Homelander-themed amusement park]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': The fuck is all this?
:'''Homelander''': Hey. HomeLand. Next phase of the reboot. Showing the faithful my boundless love for them. ''[points at a monument of himself]'' That there? The Homelander Mount. We're saying that this is where the angel visited me, and I ascended to godhood.
:'''Soldier Boy''': …Right.
:'''Homelander''': You're gonna love this. ''[waves his hand over a rollercoaster]'' This area here? We're calling it: &quot;Soldier Boy! Father of God!&quot; All the fastest rides are gonna be there, and every night, there's gonna be a ticker tape parade, honoring you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' I'm gonna head down to Bogotá. Figure I'll snort and fuck my way through the banana republics.
:'''Homelander''': Uh... When are you coming back?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Probably not for… ever.
:'''Homelander''': What? Look, if you don't like the park, I mean, forget it. I don't–I don't care about any of it. You want hοοker and blow? I'll get you all the drugs and all the wrinkly old whοres in America.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No, you're not hearing me.
:'''Homelander''': No, you're not hearing ''me.'' I am where I am because you chose me. To help me. So, I want you to have whatever you want.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What I want is to get away.
:'''Homelander''': From what? ''[scoffs]'' Or from who?
:'''Soldier Boy''': This just ain't my bag, kid.
:'''Homelander''': I welded your shield back together, you never use it. I hired you a three-star Michelin chef, all you ever order is meatloaf and chili. I even had L.J. mock up a new super suit for you. 
:''[Homelander pulls out a poster of Soldier Boy wearing an American flag-patterned suit]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, God. See, that's what I'm talking about.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, God? What?!
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't want that. And another thing: I gave you the V1 because of Clara. Because that's what she would've wanted. This was never gonna be a &quot;playing catch on the front lawn&quot;, &quot;fixing up the old Impala&quot; bullshit. You're too weird.
:'''Homelander''': Stop fucking saying that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': And you're no god. No angel came to you. You had a wet dream about some chick with big, juicy tіts. If that makes you a god, then I'm a fucking god every night.
:'''Homelander''': '''I ''AM'' GOD!'''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' Would it help if I said, &quot;It's not you, it's me&quot;?
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs softly]'' If you wanna go, go.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sighs; pats Homelander on the back]'' Good luck, son.
:''[Homelander suddenly grabs Soldier Boy from behind and puts him in a chokehold until he passes out]''
:'''Homelander''': I love you.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mother's Milk''': Help me out here. In the movie, was Homelander God, the [[w:Second Coming|Second Coming]], or Jesus' brother? 'Cause the world-building in there was fuckеd.
:'''Annie''': Does it even matter? I mean, they will believe whatever he tells them. What is the fucking point of saving people if they don't wanna be saved? This is what they want.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[beat]'' Alright. So, back when my Gramps got killed by Soldier Boy, shit got rough. Neighborhood kids laughed, called me soft, shit like that. And then one day, I find this pigeon on the sidewalk, wing busted. He was in bad shape. So, I run inside, grab a shoebox and a first aid kit, and come to start nursin' it. I figure, if I can save just this one life, maybe it might somehow make up for... Anyway, those same fuckin' kids, they found out. And so now, it don't take a genius to go from Marvin Milk to Mother's Milk. &quot;Yo, Mother's Milk, you letting that sky rat suck on your tіttіеs or that dіck?&quot; They were relentless. Right up until the day when that little bird flew outta my house and right over their heads, good as new. And you know what, Annie? Here's the crazy thing: I loved my new name. 'Cause I loved helpin' people. I loved being kind, makin' my family proud. That name was a badge of honor for me. Now, last year, locked up in that detention center, something changed. My heart, it just got scarred over. Like the world had just broken it one too many times. And yeah, it got easier, just being cynical. Checking out. But I also hated myself a lot more. I went from being a mοthеrfuckеr with a heart to just being a mοthеrfuckеr. But you know what? Givin' a shit in a world where nobody gives a shit? It ain't soft. It's hard as hell… and that's the real me. ''[pause]'' And that's the real you, too.

==''&quot;Blood and Bone&quot;'' [5.08]==
:'''Homelander''': It's alright. I'm not here to hurt you.
:'''Ryan''': You mean like last time?
:'''Homelander''': Look at you. No harm done.
:'''Ryan''': How'd you find me?
:'''Homelander''': Crime Analytics caught wind of a young man flying outside Kolvereid. Tends to draw attention.
:'''Ryan''': I don't want your help.
:'''Homelander''': I know. You've made that very clear. But you're also the son of God, and you should not be sleeping in a barn. You can have a whole floor of the Tower. Do what you want with it, come and go as you please.
:'''Ryan''': I don't wanna be anywhere near you.
:'''Homelander''': Everything is different now. I've ascended. I'm immortal.
:'''Ryan''': Then, why do you give a shit about what happens to me?
:'''Homelander''': Because we're family. ''[Ryan scoffs]'' We have the same blood pumping through our veins.
:'''Ryan''': Yeah, well, you've got your shitty racist dad. So you don't need me.
:'''Homelander''': No, Soldier Boy doesn't matter. You and I, that's all that matters. I know you, because I ''am'' you. And you're me.
:'''Ryan''': Dad… Get fuckеd. I am nothing like you. You were already the most powerful person on Earth. And you were a lonely, miserable piece of fucking shit, throwing tantrums when you didn't get what you want. Why the fuck would more power make you any better? It's just going to make you an even more lonely, miserable piece of shit. Scaring people into calling you God doesn't make you God. And deep down, you know that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; tearfully sighs]'' It's okay. You don't know what's going on. It's okay… but you will.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[After M.M. kills Oh Father by blocking his mouth with a metal mouth gag, causing his head to explode and spill blood all around]''
:'''Hughie''': I really need a new job.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''The Deep''': Starlight... It was all a test. Yes! The universe is rewarding me for my loyalty, just like [[w:Sean Connery|Sean Connery]] rewarded [[w:Kevin Costner|Costner]] at the end of ''[[w:Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves|Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves]]''!
:'''Hughie''': Sweet ''Jesus'', you're a moron.
:'''The Deep''': ''[glances at him in annoyance, then points at Starlight]'' I'm gonna kill you. And then Homelander will finally see.
:'''Annie''': ''[to M.M. and Hughie]'' I got him. Keep going.
:''[She lunges at the Deep, carrying them both through a window and across Washington before they crash land on a seashore. They both pick themselves up, and the Deep keeps trying to attack her.]''
:'''Annie''': Why are you doing this, huh? Risking your life for a man who wouldn't even piss on you if you were on fire?
:'''The Deep''': I'm his right-hand bro! He'll piss on me whenever I want!
:'''Annie''': Listen... I know you're scared--
:'''The Deep''': I'm not scared of shit!
:'''Annie''': Deep, ''Kevin'' - I can see in your eyes. Homelander terrifies you. But he sure as fuck doesn't respect you. Don't you want to be free of it? Of him?
:'''The Deep''': That fucking mouth of yours...!
:'''Annie''': This isn't about me.
:'''The Deep''': ''[ranting]'' OF COURSE IT IS! I used to have it all! Real power, respect, a Top 50 STARmeter on [[w:IMDb|IMDb]] Pro! But all the bad shit started when ''you'' showed up! I LOST EVERYTHING!
:'''Annie''': ''You'' made those fucked-up choices. You ruined your own life. You're not a fucking baby. For once, take some responsibility for yourself.
:'''The Deep''': ''[exploding with rage] '''NOOOO!'''''
:''[They fight, and though the Deep manages to knock her to the ground once, Annie delivers several heavy blows, including one to his groin, before blasting him and sending him flying backwards into the sea. He is immediately surrounded by a mob of angry sharks.]''
:'''Sharks''': Justice for Ambrosius!
:'''The Deep''': ''[terrified]'' Oh my God! Oh shit, I'm so sorry! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Stay away from me! 
:''[He pitifully tries to swim back to shore, but a giant squid grabs him by the leg.]''
:'''Squid''': Say her name! 
:'''The Deep''': Fuck! I'm sorry! Oh shit!
:''[The squid uses its tentacle to impale him through his backside, the tip erupting from his mouth. He is then dragged under, and the sharks devour him in a cloud of blood as Annie watches in shock.]''
:'''Annie''': ...Huh.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander gives his Easter address from the Oval Office and begins reading from a teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': My fellow Americans... Happy Easter. A day commemorating Jesus, who, as we all know, was tortured, stripped of his dignity and killed. And that's all well and good. But you're Americans. You deserve a God who doesn't die. A God who fights back. A God you can believe in. Well, today, I bring you good news. Recently, I was visited by an exquisite angel bearing the gift of revelation. As I bathed in her light, her heavenly lips spilled sweet truth into my ear, and I was awakened to my true purpose. Not just to be the world's greatest hero but to save all humanity. To be... the Second Coming. But in a way, really, I'm the First Coming. America... I am the Lord. Your savior. I am your God. And as such, I'm going to usher this world into a new, golden dawn. An age in which your God moves among you, seen and heard. Your prayers are truly answered when you visit homelander.church. And all I ask for in return… I simply ask that you open your hearts and put your faith in me. Those who accept my truth will be welcomed into a land of milk and honey. For I am your Fa…
:''[Homelander stares blankly at the teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': I am… ''[beat]'' But no matter what I do, some of you people will never accept me into your hearts. Never love me. Never believe in me. And to such heretics, I offer oblivion. And those who seek to destroy me, you will die the most horrible of deaths, as befits your wickedness. My reign will last forever, and when this world is cold and dead, I shall remain... eternal. God of the ashes.
:''[Butcher and Kimiko suddenly break into the Oval Office]''
:'''Butcher''': Evening, cunts. Daddy's home. 
:'''Homelander''': William. ''[pause]'' I was starting to think you weren't going to hold up your end of our deal.
:'''Butcher''': Scorched earth?
:'''Homelander''': A shame about the French one. How's your little science experiment going without him?
:'''Butcher''': Let's find out.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander is now at Butcher's mercy after losing his powers]''
:'''Butcher''': Shock and awe, my son. Blood and fuckin' bone.
:''[Homelander charges toward Butcher, who grabs Homelander's fist with his left hand and punches him three times with the other. Butcher grabs Homelander again and prepares to land another punch.]''
:'''Butcher''': This... is for Frenchie.
:''[Butcher punches Homelander in the face repeatedly, knocking him down to the floor and leaving him cowering in fear]''
:'''Homelander''': Stop! You owe me. All the times I could've killed you and I didn't, I let you live. I'll–I'll give you Vought. ''[Butcher picks up his crowbar]'' I'll give you Vought, alright? You can do whatever you want with it, okay? I'll–I'll... Becca. You want your wife back? I'll have a shape-shifter be her. ''[whimpers]'' Just tell me! I'll fucking suck your dіck! Please! I'll do anything! You want me to eat shit? I'll eat your fucking shit! I'll eat your fucking shit on live TV! ''[pause; Butcher knocks him down against the desk]'' Madelyn, you promised me. It's not real. ''[to Butcher]'' You can't fucking do this. ''You can't fucking do this! '''I am the Homelander!'''''
:'''Butcher''': No. Nah, you ain't nothing. And this... This is for my Becca.
:'''Homelander''': No, no...
:''[Butcher stabs Homelander in the head with the straight end of the crowbar. He lifts it up, breaking Homelander's skull open and spilling his brains all over the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie confronts Butcher at Vought Tower to stop him from releasing the Supe virus. Butcher is looking out the window when Hughie enters the main conference room.]''
:'''Butcher''': Traffic?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. Accident on the bridge. Should have taken the tunnel.
:'''Butcher''': ''[turns around]'' I thought you might try to stop me. But you shouldn't have come alone. You should've brought a fuckin' army.
:'''Hughie''': No. If you were gonna release the virus, you would've done it already.
:'''Butcher''': Unless... I'm waitin' for all the Supe cunts to clock in for the day shift. Not much point shootin' spunk into an empty fuckin' building, now is there?
:'''Hughie''': Okay, well, now I kinda wish I brought an army. Where's the virus, Butcher?
:'''Butcher''': I dumped it in the sprinkler tank. Frenchie's idea, God rest the mad bastard. ''[picks up remote controller]'' All I gotta do is pull this trigger, and it rains kill juice on all 99 floors. Shit will be worldwide within a couple of days.
:'''Hughie''': Why? I mean, we already won.
:'''Butcher''': Won? No, we just gave 'em a black eye. As long as there's Vought, there'll be Supes. And sooner or later, some cunt that's already out there becomes the next Homelander, and you fuckin' know it. No. We need to end the whole bloody notion of Supes, and we need to make it permanent. I mean, you can see it, right? This is it. This is the moment.
:'''Hughie''': You dragged me through fucking hell... for this. For now. To be your... canary. Or your Kessler. Or Lenny. But here's the thing: You don't need me for that. You never did. It's already in you. I can see it. You might have a broken fucking heart, but you have one. You are not a monster, Butcher. It just hurts to be human.
:'''Butcher''': I'm sorry, mate. Superheroes... are done.
:'''Hughie''': ''[pulls out gun]'' I can't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Petit Hughie and his gun. Takes some big bollocks to pull the trigger on a mate.
:'''Hughie''': ''[aims the gun at Butcher]'' I will if I have to.
:'''Butcher''': ''[chuckles]'' Nah. You ain't got the…
:''[Butcher takes the gun from Hughie, punches him and throws him across the room]''
:'''Butcher''': Stay down.
:''[Butcher sees Hughie staring at the remote and rushes to take it before Hughie does. Hughie quickly gets up and trades more blows with Butcher, spitting blood onto the floor after getting punched hard in the gut. Eventually, Butcher gains the upper hand and picks up the remote while Hughie lies helpless on the floor. Before he can pull the remote trigger, he has a hallucination of Lenny lying in Hughie's place. He gets shot in the abdomen by Hughie as he moves his finger away from the trigger. Realizing what he did, Hughie rushes to Butcher's side.]''
:'''Hughie''': I'm sorry. Um... I didn't wanna–I didn't wanna do that. Um... I'm–I'm gonna call an ambulance, okay?
:'''Butcher''': I wouldn't bother. It's all right, Hughie. I gave you no choice. I... I wasn't gonna stop. All the blood... and shite I put you through... and none of it made a blind bit of difference. You–You stayed yourself... no matter what I done. ''[coughs]''
:'''Hughie''': Hey.
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know what to do.
:'''Hughie''': You don't need to do anything.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat; Hughie holds his hand]'' You really are... the spittin' of Lenny.
:''[Butcher slowly loses his grip on Hughie as he dies]'' 
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': ''[last lines; to his and Annie's unborn daughter]'' Take care of your mom, Robin.

==External links==
{{The Boys}}
[[Category:The Boys (TV series) seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>ed9uiz8um1kyxvy5g4esfqocf6c1wj7</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943970</id>
      <parentid>3943969</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T14:58:08Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-16389-61</username>
        <id>3302453</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* &quot;Blood and Bone&quot; [5.08] */</comment>
      <origin>3943970</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="92031" sha1="29s5jw4zogxv87daatl9m77bixiuf91" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Season''' [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 1|1]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 2|2]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 3|3]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 4|4]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 5|5]]  [[The Boys (TV series)|Main]]
----
'''''[[w:The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]''''' is an American superhero television series developed by Eric Kripke for [[w:Amazon Prime Video|Amazon Prime Video]]. Based on the comic book of the same name by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson, it follows the eponymous team of vigilantes as they combat superpowered individuals who abuse their abilities.

==''&quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;'' [5.01]==
:''[Homelander meets with Sister Sage after the Flight 37 video gets leaked to the public by Annie]''
:'''Sister Sage''': We knew this would happen sooner or later. We've been ready. In the last 24 hours, we have flooded the zone with so much disinformation, people can't tell their clit from their collarbone. The share price is only down half a point. Besides that, damage is minimal.
:'''Homelander''': ''[points at open book]'' What's this?
:'''Sister Sage''': That is a Gutenberg Bible. Martin Shkreli sold it to me at discount.
:'''Homelander''': You're really on top of the world, huh? Peter Thiel, the Obamas calling you for advice. Everyone loves you. 
:'''Sister Sage''': You can't really think I care.
:'''Homelander''': Maybe you didn't used to.
:'''Sister Sage''': It's all for you. The higher the share price, the happier the billionaires. The more you get to do whatever the fuck you wanna do.
:'''Homelander''': Are you aware that NNC is calling me a murderer? Saying that maybe I even did something to my son?
:'''Sister Sage''': No. Everyone knows that Ryan is... ''[sighs]'' Sorry. That he is at boarding school. In Svalbard. ''[chuckling]'' That story's holding. We're good.
:'''Homelander''': And how–how about you, Sage? Are you… good?
:'''Sister Sage''': I'm fine.
:'''Homelander''': You're not distracted at all? After Thomas Godolkin dumped you? You're not numbing the heartache by stabbing your brain?
:'''Sister Sage''': No.
:'''Homelander''': Then, just tell me. How did Starlight get in the building? ''[beat; exhales]'' I WAS '''HUMILIATED!''' As if people don't hate me enough!
:'''Sister Sage''': Your numbers are north of 96.
:'''Homelander''': Anyone can smile for the pollsters, sure, but millions of them are still Starlighters in their hearts! Where it counts! Have you seen the memes? Have you seen the ''memes'' about me?! ''[brief pause]'' Posting them should be a crime.
:'''Sister Sage''': Yes, but we can't go... ''[notices Homelander glaring at her]'' Oh, you're serious. Uh, sir... ''[chuckles]'' Ongoing conflict is useful to us. It keeps people afraid…
:'''Homelander''': Shut up.
:'''Sister Sage''': …which is exactly what we–
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no, no! NO! You promised me Caesar.
:'''Sister Sage''': He was stabbed by his best friends.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, well, I can relate to that! But I need people to be ''devoted!'' To '''''me!'''''
:'''Sister Sage''': May I speak freely?
:'''Homelander''': Give it a shot.
:'''Sister Sage''': I told you, no matter how much power you amass, it will not make you happy.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You know what's gonna make me happy? I think I'll be happy when Starlight and William Butcher are corpses. I want it leaked that in three days, we are going to execute Hugh Campbell, Milk, and the... French one. That'll draw out Starlight and Butcher, and then I will take care of this once and for all.
:'''Sister Sage''': Consider it done, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, wow. Your skin is so oily, like hugging a McRib.
:'''Annie''': Wait, did you—Did you just... How?!
:'''Kimiko''': Speech therapy and fucking therapy therapy and so much fucking TikTok.
:'''Annie''': Well, you sure sound like you're on TikTok.
:'''Butcher''': Sixteen-hour flight and not a fucking peep.
:'''Kimiko''': 'Cause all you can say is &quot;Oi, oi, oi. Cunt, cunt, cunt&quot;.
:'''Butcher''': I liked her better with her mouth shut.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Annie''': Took you long enough. Slowing down in your old age?
:'''A-Train''': ''[laughs and hugs Annie]'' Fuck you, [[w:Killing of JonBenét Ramsey|JonBenét]].
:'''Kimiko''': You guys are friends?
:'''A-Train''': You talk?
:'''Kimiko''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Annie''': Reggie's been helping us out for a while.
:'''A-Train''': ''[takes drink from Annie]'' Thanks. Where is everybody? ''[pause]'' I heard about the Pittsburgh raid last month. Go Marie Moreau. How's her team doing?
:'''Annie''': Yeah, they're scoring a few wins, but not nearly enough.
:'''A-Train''': So, what's with the 911?
:'''Annie''': Hughie, M.M. and Frenchie are gonna be executed tomorrow, so we need your help to break them out.
:'''A-Train''': Of a Vought prison camp? You're fucking crazy.
:'''Annie''': Listen, you don't have to fight, okay? We just need you to run them to the extraction point. It's easy.
:'''A-Train''': Easy. Right. You know Homelander's gonna be waiting. I can't.
:'''Annie''': We know how to kill him, okay? But we need Frenchie to do it.
:'''A-Train''': Great. Well, good luck with that.
:'''Annie''': Hey, are you gonna keep running forever? I mean, if we're gonna really take him out, we need your help.
:'''A-Train''': So what, I'm just supposed to join this little fucking supergroup?
:'''Annie''': I mean, we are down one asshоlе, so… Yeah, maybe.
:'''A-Train''': ''[pause]'' No.
:'''Annie''': Why not?
:'''A-Train''': I said I can't.
:'''Annie''': I know you're scared…
:'''A-Train''': No, I'm not fucking scared! I got a family to protect. ''[Annie sighs]'' I can't.
:'''Annie''': I get it, I do. Me, too. ''[pause]'' Keep them safe.
:''[Annie and Kimiko watch A-Train run off]''
:'''Kimiko''': We shouldn't have let him go.
:'''Annie''': No. Homelander fuckеd him up. Fuckеd me up, too. We're gonna need an Exit Plan B.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk go over their escape plan]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so we hit the east gate.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Oui'', Petit Hughie, when the guards change shift.
:'''Hughie''': And we go at dawn.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We've been through this.
:'''Hughie''': I know. I just wanna go over it a few more times just so I can get it in my head.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hughie… ''[holds out moonshine jar]'' Take a fuckin' drink, will you?
:'''Hughie''': No, thanks.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shrugs; to Frenchie]'' ''Mon ami?''
:'''Frenchie''': You know I quit.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Leave it up to you to have your shit the tightest you've ever had it in a fuckin' internment camp.
:'''Frenchie''': Yeah, what about you? Have you been eating the fresh produce I smuggle in?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Moonshine's got corn in it. ''[takes a sip of moonshine]''
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Hughie]'' Hey… Don't worry. Annie will be fine. She's strong.
:'''Hughie''': ''[takes liquor bottle from Frenchie]'' Kimiko, too. 
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Y'all mοthеrfuckеrs are trippin'. Y'all don't know what the fuck's going on with them. ''[to Frenchie]'' Hey, you don't even know where Kimiko's at.
:'''Hughie''': What, so you don't think you're gonna see Janine and Monique again? Is that it?
:'''Mother's Milk''': What I know is that they're a shit ton safer without me making a mess out of their lives.
:'''Hughie''': M.M., you're the strongest guy I know. We've been in tougher spots than this.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, I did two tours in the 3/8 in Farah Province. The shit I saw would ''fuck you up''. And even that was ''Emily in Paris'' compared to the shit that we looking at here. And even if we make it outta here, we ain't surviving this fuckin' war. We are dead men walking. Chin-chin, mοthеrfuckеrs.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie is shocked to see all of his prison bunkmates brutally murdered in their bunker. He sees Homelander sitting on his bed reading from his journal.]''
:'''Homelander''': &quot;Well, Annie, today marks two months. It's a little insane how much I miss you. I've been having trouble eating. Every day, I see people giving up, but not me. Because I have you.&quot; It's very, very sweet.
:'''Hughie''': They were innocent.
:'''Homelander''': Oh… ''[looks briefly at one of the corpses]'' Well, I'd hardly call them innocent. They lied to me. Played dumb about your little stash in the wall there. We've known about that for quite some time, but I just wanted to give you a little hope.
:'''Hughie''': You're not the one who gave it to me, asshоlе.
:'''Homelander''': Ooh, I like Internment Camp Hughie. She's zesty.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck you. Do it.
:'''Homelander''': What?
:'''Hughie''': Kill me.
:'''Homelander''': Not until we flush out Butcher and Starlight.
:'''Hughie''': You think they're dumb enough to just walk right into your trap?
:'''Homelander''': Let's not insult each other. We both know they're coming. ''[throws the journal at Hughie's feet]'' Do you remember when we first met?
:'''Hughie''': How could I forget? 
:'''Homelander''': Believe Festival. I tried to cleanse your soul. I remember thinking... ''[sighs]'' &quot;Why him?&quot; What does Starlight see in this gangly simp that reeks of fear and Strawberry Smoothie kids' shampoo? You know, William and Victoria Neuman love you, too. I mean, I get it from your perspective. You're punching up. Good for you. But why are they so hopelessly devoted to such staggering mediocrity? Why would Starlight and Butcher piss away their lives to try and rescue you?
:'''Hughie''': Because I'd do it for them.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher and Kimiko find Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk tied up and gagged by Homelander when they break into the Vought internment camp]''
:'''Hughie''': Butcher?! Oh, fuck.
:'''Homelander''': ''[waves]'' Surprise. Welcome, William. ''[to Kimiko]'' And you. The gang is almost all here. Oh, and uh, ''[looks down at Mother's Milk]'' you never told me that this one's nickname is... Mother's Milk. ''[licks his lips; laughs]'' Okay. So, what's the big plan? What, are you gonna sandbag me with the Godolkin virus? ''[Butcher looks shocked]'' Yes. I know all about it.
:'''Kimiko''': Suck my fat dіck!
:''[Homelander lasers Kimiko in half. The top half of her body falls to the floor.]''
:'''Homelander''': Hey, where's Starlight? Just doesn't feel like a party without my little lightning bug here... ''[pause; stares at Butcher]'' Jesus Christ, William. You've got a viper's nest in there. I'd heard about it, of course. But seeing it for myself, it's uh… it–it's incredible. I mean, it's fucking disgusting of course, but it's–it's beautiful. What you've done to yourself, what you've become… and you did all that for me? ''[pause]'' Now that… ''that'' is devotion. You know, William, I know we're not exactly equals, but I'm compelled to say… you are the only one that's ever challenged me. And there's a part of me that will be sad to see you go.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A-Train gets badly injured while being chased by Homelander, who eventually catches up to him]''
:'''Homelander''': Looks like someone ''can'' catch the A-Train after all. End of the road, buddy boy.
:''[A-Train starts laughing at Homelander as he gets back up]''
:'''Homelander''': What's so funny?
:'''A-Train''': What was I so afraid of? You are… fucking nothing.
:'''Homelander''': Really?
:''[Homelander lifts A-Train and pins him against a tree]''
:'''A-Train''': ''[grunts]'' Really. You're just an empty fucking suit. Take away these powers… and what are you, huh? A pathetic… weak… sniveling fucking loser.
:''[Homelander wraps his hand around A-Train's neck and slowly chokes him. A-Train continues laughing until Homelander snaps his neck, killing him instantly.]''

==''&quot;Teenage Kix&quot;'' [5.02]==
:'''Oh Father''': We fight hellfire with holy fire! We fight with the ballot box! We fight with the ammo box! Matthew 10:34 — &quot;I do not come to bring the peace, but a sword&quot;! You are not here to be blessed, you are here to do war!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Goddammit, A-Train. It didn't need to come to this. I don't know, you left me no choice! I know that my leadership style can be stern, but it was for your own good! I like to think of myself as the big brother that you never had. You remember that girlfriend you had? Uh... Pop... Popfang. Betrayed us both, to William Butcher, no less. Huge mess, your fault. What did I do? ''What did I do?'' I gave you a chance to make things right, I reached out my hand... and you bit it! What did I ever do to deserve that? What, was I too nurturing? Too forgiving? Well, maybe. But dammit, you weren't like the others: Snakes, backstabbers. I could count on you, man. I ''did'' count on you. I loved you... but here we are. Why does this keep happening to me? I guess the strongest men are the most alone. You wouldn't understand. Nobody does.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander releases Soldier Boy from his cryogenic chamber at Vought Tower. Soldier Boy wakes up the next morning in Homelander's bedroom.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no. It's okay. It's okay, I don't wanna hurt you. You're safe, okay? You've been in deep freeze again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, Jesus Christ. For how long?
:'''Homelander''': Almost two years in a CIA black site. I just found out this morning.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You found out this morning?
:'''Homelander''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But that just happens to be in your room? ''[pause]'' Did you fuck me?
:'''Homelander''': ''[legitimately confused]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this some kind of incest thing?
:'''Homelander''': No!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Then, what the fuck is this?
:'''Homelander''': ''[stammers]'' Look, I... I want you to find William Butcher.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Find him yourself.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the people that work for me are limited. And you are the best tracker there is. I just–I need you to find him and report back. Very simple.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You want me… to work for you?
:'''Homelander''': Well, why don't we say &quot;work ''with'' me&quot;? And... I can help you. I can give you a proper comeback.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need you for that.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the whole world does think that you're a Russian spy, so…
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[takes a deep breath]'' Okay. Alright, listen to me. I'm no ass-felching Commie. You got that?!
:'''Homelander''': I know, I know. And listen, I am Vought now. Me. So, the public, they're gonna believe that you are whatever I tell them you are. I can resurrect you. I can give you back what you lost. I can even make you number two in The Seven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Number two? ''[Homelander nods]'' Or how about I finish the job, and blast you to Kingdom Fuck.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, you could try. Who knows, you might even fry the V right out of my blood. Or you might not. But I'm betting that you hate William Butcher more than you hate... me. After all, I'm–I'm not the one that betrayed you, am I?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I tried to kill you. The minute I turn my back, how do I know you won't return the favor?
:'''Homelander''': Look... 
:''[Homelander picks up Soldier Boy's shield and gives it to him]''
:'''Homelander''': You find William Butcher for me… all is forgiven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat; looks at the shield]'' Looks like a fuckin' kindergarten ashtray. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Soldier Boy, ''[points at Calhoun and Ashley]'' this is the President, Vice President of the United States of America. They work for me. Everyone, Soldier Boy is gonna be number two in The Seven once he has located William Butcher and Annie January.
:'''The Deep''': What? Wait–Wait, what, sir? No, sir. I... I can do this. I can bring them in.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, like you did with A-Train? We're going in a new direction, Deep. Competence. ''[to Calhoun]'' Oh, and Steve, Soldier Boy's gonna need a full pardon.
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, he–he was guilty of... you know, treason. ''[pause; Homelander just stares at him]'' Consider it done, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific. And you know what? I'm sure the man's dying for a drink. Uh, Steve, can you make him a…
:'''Soldier Boy''': Manhattan.
:'''Homelander''': Manhattan. Thanks, Steve.
:'''Calhoun''': Of course. Can I get you a glass of milk, sir?
:'''Homelander''': ''[sternly]'' No. Steven… I'll also have a Manhattan.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goddamn. Since when could Supes teabag the President?
:'''Homelander''': Since me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Hughie looking despondent on their way back to the Teenage Kix mansion]''
:'''Butcher''': Oi, fuckin' smile, Hughie. I mean, ain't you a little glad A-Train's dead?
:'''Hughie''': …No, I'm not glad he's dead. A-Train did a lot of horrible things, but he saved our lives, and he died a hero. A real hero. There are a lot of other Supes that don't deserve to die either.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, I know you just done a year in the gulag. You've earned your seat at the table, so... I'll give it to ya straight. You gotta knock this wet, gaping pussy shite on the head, mate. Ain't doin' no one no favours. Especially your girl. I mean, that's why she's givin' you the cold shoulder.
:'''Hughie''': Don't talk to me about Annie. You don't know what's going on with her.
:'''Butcher''': Well, I know that she finally knows the fuckin' score. And she knows that you poncin' about with this Jiminy Cricket, &quot;listen to your heart&quot; bollocks is just gonna get her killed.
:'''Hughie''': Is there any part of you left that's still human? ''[pause]'' You're gonna get Annie killed, not me… but I won't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Noted.
:''[A shield suddenly pierces the windshield of the Boys' truck. Hughie catches the virus vial right as they crash into another vehicle.]''
:'''Hughie''': Fuck!
:'''Kimiko''': Hughie, the vial!
:'''Hughie''': It's good. ''[stares at the shield]'' Wait, is that...?
:''[They see Soldier Boy walking up the street towards them]''
:'''Butcher''': Well, well, well.
:'''Kimiko''': He's dead, right? He's supposed to be dead?
:'''Butcher''': Supposed to be. Mallory put him in ice for a bit.
:'''Hughie''': ''[slowly turns to face Butcher]'' You're telling us this ''now?''
:'''Butcher''': Somebody up there likes us, mate.
:'''Hughie''': In what fucking way?!
:'''Butcher''': Well, we wanted a guinea pig. Who better than Homelander's old man? New plan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Butcher''': Oi. Ain't you supposed to be a giant ice dіldо?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Aren't you supposed to be smart? Renting a truck under the name &quot;Don T. Beakunt.&quot; Same alias when we headed to Herogasm.
:'''Butcher''': Well, oldie, but a goodie.
:''[Soldier Boy sees Hughie and Kimiko get out of the truck and run away]'' 
:'''Butcher''': No, mate. Just you and me.
:''[Soldier Boy shoots Butcher three times, but to no avail. Butcher, still standing, looks down at his chest then looks back up at Soldier Boy.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess it's true. You're one of us now.
:'''Butcher''': Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Then fuckin' beat 'em.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Being super is not gonna save you.
:'''Butcher''': That don't stop us helpin' each other. Homelander's double the cunt now, if that's even possible. He needs doin' more than ever. You still fancy his seat on The Seven, don't ya?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Fuck you! We had a deal! I held up my end of the bargain, and you sold me out. Put me back in a fucking box! And for what? 'Cause I was gonna kill some dumb kid?
:'''Butcher''': That kid is your grandson.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, was it worth it? You feeling good about that call right about now? Where is that fucking brat?
:'''Butcher''': Homelander's the one fuckin' you over, mate. Or did he mention that we've got an uber virus strong enough to kill every fuckin' Supe on the planet?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Bullshit.
:'''Butcher''': God's honest. The things this virus can do... ''Fuckin' diabolical.'' Why d'you think he sent you here instead of coming himself, hmm? You're the sacrificial cunt. Again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess we'll see.
:'''Butcher''': You don't get it, do ya? Me, Homelander, your old crew–Everyone fucks you over. Do you wanna know why? 'Cause you... are a dumb fuckin' twat.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hughie Campbell. How is a useless cock-gobbler like you still alive?
:'''Hughie''': All your jokes are about dudes blowing dudes. You're kind of obsessed!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this the virus he was going on about? The so-called &quot;Supe Killer&quot;? Well, not today, you semen-swilling butt pirate.
:'''Hughie''': What?

==''&quot;Every One of You Sons of Bitches&quot;'' [5.03]==
:''[Homelander has a psychotic breakdown and hallucinates Madelyn Stillwell appearing to him as an angel]''
:'''Homelander''': Madelyn...!
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, my boy! My sweet boy... What is wrong? Why are you unhappy?
:'''Homelander''': My father and my son! Everything, it's all falling apart!
:'''Madelyn''': No! No, it's exactly what needed to happen. Yes, it's been foretold! You're about to ascend. Become immortal. Divine. A true god with the love of the world.
:'''Homelander''': But–
:'''Madelyn''': I know, you think love is weak and human. But who is more loved than Jesus? And why should he have more love than you? You save more people than he does. The one, true god...
:'''Homelander''': Yes... But how? How? Millions of people just hate me...
:'''Madelyn''': Well, then you baptize the unfaithful in their own blood. Rip babies from their mothers' wombs.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': Skin parents in front of their children. Rid the world of the wicked.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': The nonbelievers...
:'''Homelander''': They'll call me a monster...
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, the only ones left will be your faithful. And they will love you in their hearts. They'll cry happy tears at the mere thought of you. You have one last task, my love.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Homelander?
:'''Homelander''': Up here.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What do you– ''[sees Homelander taking a bath]'' What in the fuck? Is that milk?
:'''Homelander''': Better. Breastmilk from the NICU at Mount Sinai.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So, what? You asked me up here so I could watch you swim in tit jizz?
:'''Homelander''': I wanna give you another chance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You wanna give ''me'' another chance?
:'''Homelander''': Yes. Help me find that V1.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd rather fist myself with a handful of razors. Besides, Cleopatra Jones said there's no V1 to find.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, there most certainly is. And I am going to find it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah? What makes you so sure?
:'''Homelander''': ''[smiling]'' An angel told me. It's my destiny.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Just when I thought there was a ceiling to how fuckin' weird you could get.
:'''Homelander''': Yes, yes. Make your jokes. You've been blessed with immortality, and what have you done with it? Drink and fuck yourself numb. You... You are a disappointment. You see... ''[stands up and gets out of the tub]'' I am not gonna waste my immortality. I am gonna take what's rightfully mine. I'm asking you if you want a seat at the table because you're my father. But with or without you... a reckoning is coming.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' You know, all I see is a freak. A freak with a bushel of gray pubes. Try some Just for Men.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher takes Ryan to a pub to discuss his plan to kill Homelander with the Supe virus]''
:'''Butcher''': All you do is get him on the blower and tell him you wanna see him. When he rocks up, you chuck the shit in his face... and that'll be it.
:'''Ryan''': Why me?
:'''Butcher''': 'Cause he won't leave the fortress of cuntitude for anyone else.
:'''Ryan''': So this is what you wanted to talk to me about. Killing my dad.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, mate–
:'''Ryan''': Is that all you think I'm good for?
:'''Butcher''': I ain't gonna treat you like a kid no more, alright? You're done with that. Homelander raped your mum. He's gonna burn everything down, and you are the only one who can stop him. Now... Normally, I don't put no stock in any of that bollocks about destiny, but if anyone's got one, it's you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause; sighs]'' I throw this virus at him... what'll happen to me?
:'''Butcher''': You'll die. I'll be close by and we'll go together. Now... I ain't gonna lie to you. This… this is not what your mum wanted… But it's the only way. And it will be justice.
:'''Ryan''': You're asking me to kill myself?
:'''Butcher''': You wouldn't be the first lad to throw his life away in a war... but you would be the first to save the world doin' it. ''[beat; sighs heavily]'' I'll fetch us a pint.
:''[Later, Butcher returns with a pint of beer]''
:'''Butcher''': Here. Told her you were 30. ''[Ryan chuckles]'' Fuck the leather, fuck the lace, here's to the bird who sits on yer face. ''[takes a long sip of beer]''
:'''Ryan''': Where'd you pick that up?
:'''Butcher''': Me old man.
:'''Ryan''': You two close?
:'''Butcher''': Nah, not really. He was a... a piss artist. Used to lose all his money on the gee-gees–horses–and then, he'd come home, beat the livin' daylights outta Len and me. And then later, laugh about it with his mates. Yeah, he was a right cunt.
:'''Ryan''': Where is he now?
:'''Butcher''': Bottom of the Thames. I put him there, just the other day. Only wish I'd done it sooner, before he caused more... more damage.
:'''Ryan''': Butcher... Do you think that I could ever... That I might turn into my dad?
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know.
:'''Ryan''': ''[sighs]'' My mom... Aunt Grace... the others... All I do is hurt people. I can't be around anyone.
:'''Butcher''': Without us–without Supes–the world is a better, safer place.
:'''Ryan''': ''[beat]'' I'll do it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Edgar ''': You're fighting an unbeatable foe. You know that, right?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Who? Vought?
:'''Edgar''': Please. It's more powerful than Vought. Or Homelander. More powerful than nature or life itself. It's profit and loss; supply and demand; the elegant flow of currency across the globe. We're just cogs in a great machine, and we all have our part to play. Say you kill Soldier Boy, or Homelander, or even release this virus. When superheroes go out of fashion, something else will just take their place. Because corporations must still grow. Money must still be made. The machine must still be fed. That is the way of the world.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Motherfucker. When this is all over... you're aiming to run Vought again, ain't you?
:'''Edgar''': Like I said. We all have our part to play.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[pause]'' If that day ever comes... I have a part to play, too. And that's to put a bullet in your fuckin' skull.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy and Firecracker are on her TruthBomb talkshow set preparing for their interview together]''
:'''Firecracker''': It's an honor to have a great American like yourself on the show. I guess it runs in the family, huh? Homelander's father… Dang.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks at the gun at Firecracker's hip]'' Glock, huh? Never saw the appeal in foreign-made guns.
:'''Firecracker''': Well, this ain't your granddaddy's Glock. This here's a 9mm Gen 5, seven-round capacity with a crisp fuckin' break.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, mine's a much longer barrel. ''[takes out his pistol]'' Battle-proven, all-American Colt 1911 chambered in .45 ACP. ''[cocks pistol]'' That'll blow your fuckin' panties off. Now, that little Glock–That's good for a late-night Harlem stroll, but uh, this here? That's a certified Kraut killer.
:'''Firecracker''': I think you mean an antique.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean a classic. You wanna give it a try? ''[Firecracker examines the pistol]'' Now, some can't handle the kick, but something tells me you'll do just fine.
:''[Cut to Soldier Boy and Firecracker in bed together after having sex]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Whew. Well, I gotta hand it to you. I haven't fuckеd that hard since... since I railed Shari Lewis on the balcony of Studio 54.
:'''Firecracker''': I ain't got no idea who that is.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well... Hey, why the hairless pussy?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[gives Soldier Boy a disgusted look]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean, what's the point of going down there if you're not gonna get a fat face full of fur? Is that how Homelander likes you? Like a baby?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' More like a mother.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But you two have fuckеd, right?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[shakes her head]'' Mm-mm.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Damn. I gotta admit, I was kinda just doing this as petty revenge against the freak.
:'''Firecracker''': That's terrible. Who would do such a thing? And you shouldn't say that about your son.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Ah, he thinks he's better than me.
:'''Firecracker''': He doesn't.
:'''Soldier Boy''': How do you know?
:'''Firecracker''': I don't know much, but I can read people. And the way he looks at you? Shoot. I ain't never seen him look at nobody like that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Uh, that's not exactly a compliment, doll. He is the strangest mοthеrfuckеr I've ever known, and I've had a threesome with Gary Busey.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ryan and Homelander meet up at the now-abandoned VoughtLand building]''
:'''Ryan''': Do you remember when you took me here? Pretended to care about me?
:'''Homelander''': I ''do'' care about you, son. I love you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause]'' I need to ask you–
:'''Homelander''': For my forgiveness? You already have it.
:'''Ryan''': What?
:'''Homelander''': Okay, let me finish. I put too much pressure on you to fill my boots. And–And I realize now that, uh... Well, that–that was impossible. But I do have some pretty exciting news. I am going to live forever now. I'll realize my own legacy. And you... ''[scoffs]'' you're off the hook. You can do whatever–
:'''Ryan''': Did you do it? Did you rapе my mom?
:'''Homelander''': What?! Of course not. Who told you–Did William Butcher tell you that? Your mother and I, we had an affair. A consensual affair between two adults.
:'''Ryan''': Your heart's racing.
:'''Homelander''': Well, yeah, because I'm shocked. And–And frankly, my heart's breaking a little bit that you could think I would do something like that.
:''[Ryan lasers Homelander, leaving a visible wound near his chest]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan... Ryan, stop!
:''[Ryan lunges at Homelander and shoves him against the wall. Homelander ducks below Ryan's fist to avoid getting punched by him.]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan! I don't know where this is coming from, because your mother… ''She'' came on to ''me.''
:''[Ryan punches Homelander twice and tries to laser him again. Homelander quickly dodges him again.]''
:'''Homelander''': ''Ryan!'' Son... ''[moves away to avoid another punch]'' Ryan! Ryan, buddy... Look what came out of it: My son! A blessing! ''[Ryan attacks him again]'' Hey, hey! Stop!
:''[Ryan readies another laser, which gets redirected when Homelander grabs his face. He punches Homelander in the face again, but Homelander gets the upper hand and slams Ryan several times into a box. Homelander wipes blood away from his nose as Ryan whimpers in pain.]''
:'''Homelander''': Oh, Ryan... Dammit. Look at what you made me do. ''[pause; kneels down to restrain Ryan]'' Shh... Shh, shh, shh. Hey... It's okay. My sweet, sweet boy.
:''[Homelander proceeds to punch Ryan repeatedly in the face until he is beaten nearly to death]''

==''&quot;King of Hell&quot;'' [5.04]==
:'''Homelander''': I need you for something.
:'''Firecracker''': You do?
:'''Homelander''': I have received the most wonderful message. I was visited... by an angel. And she foretold my destiny.
:'''Firecracker''': Wow. Well, praise be. And what is it?
:'''Homelander''': God.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, that is wonderful. There is no higher calling than servin' the Lord.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. Not serving the Lord. Being the Lord. I am the Messiah. I'm the savior of the world.
:'''Firecracker''': The... Messiah?
:'''Homelander''': Yes.
:''[Firecracker smiles despite her being clearly disturbed by Homelander's delusions]''
:'''Firecracker''': Um... Congrats.
:'''Homelander''': Thank you. ''[pause; Firecracker giggles nervously]'' I always knew I was special. I knew it. I suffered. I suffered so many hardships, and I... I couldn't understand why, but you... You... You always saw it, didn't you? You knew all along I was special. That is why I have chosen you to spread the word of my coming.
:'''Firecracker''': How?
:'''Homelander''': Well, we control the most powerful media apparatus on Earth. Jesus would kill for our marketing. What do you say?
:'''Firecracker''': ...Well, you know I would do anything for you, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys are hiking through the woods near Fort Harmony]''
:'''Kimiko''': It's weird. No birds or animals. It's like…
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. ''[to Mother's Milk]'' Had to park on the other side of the state, didn't ya?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Well, if the hike's too hard, why don't you try tying your boots, mοthеrfuckеr.
:''[Hughie is shocked to see a heavily decomposed corpse]''
:'''Hughie''': Oh, fuck that.
:'''Butcher''': Eh. Not really my type, son.
:'''Hughie''': Hey, how about showing a little respect?
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, Hughie's right, Butcher. You should take her out to dinner first. ''[chuckles; sighs]'' Let's see here. Based on the decomp, these bodies have been here for a while.
:'''Frenchie''': Something ripped them apart. Whatever killed those Boy Scouts might still stalk these woods.
:'''Butcher''': Let's get a move on, then. Didn't come out here to get bummed by Bigfoot.
:''[...]''
:'''Butcher''': Any sign of Super Cunt?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Could already be inside.
:'''Butcher''': Well, let's find out.
:'''Kimiko''': ''[to Hughie]'' What's wrong?
:'''Hughie''': Annie.
:'''Kimiko''': She'll come back.
:'''Hughie''': No. I almost died, but she made it all about her and she took off. I mean, last year, I got bad-touched by a shape-shifter, and she still found a way to make it about her. She can be such a fucking bitch. ''[pause; sees Kimiko looking at him in shock]'' Uh... Jesus. Sorry, I–I didn't mean for that to come out so harsh.
:''[The Boys see an entire field littered with animal carcasses]''
:'''Butcher''': ''Fuckin' hell.''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck happened here?
:'''Frenchie''': Our V'd-up beast enjoyed an amuse-bouche, perhaps?
:'''Butcher''': Well, explains why we didn't hear no animals.
:'''Kimiko''': I said that ten minutes ago.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys discover more decomposed corpses as they make their way downstairs to the lab inside Fort Harmony]''
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. They've been here a minute, haven't they?
:'''Frenchie''': Decades. Hunters... ''[pause; notices the knives embedded in the corpses]'' Look at their knives. These men, they killed each other. What if there is a monster here, but it's us?
:'''Butcher''': What the fuck are you on about, Frenchie?
:'''Frenchie''': [[w:Toxoplasma gondii|Toxoplasmosis]]. It's a parasite in cat shit. It can infect humans. Makes them react with explosive anger.
:'''Hughie''': You think we ate cat shit?
:'''Frenchie''': Ate? No... If the V1 spilled into the groundwater, it could mutate the plants. Their spores fill us with rage, we murder each other, and ''voilà''. We're plant food for these vines.
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so like [[w:The Last of Us (video game)|''The Last of Us'']]?
:'''Frenchie''': No, that is just [[w:The Walking Dead (comic book)|''The Walking Dead'']] with mushrooms. The dead campers, the animals, these hunters... Surely, you all see how strangely you've been acting.
:'''Kimiko''': Us? I've seen you blow cоcaіnе up your dіckhole.
:'''Frenchie''': Wait... You have a point. The copious amount of drug I've taken for decades has surely altered my brain chemistry. That's why I'm not affected. 
:'''Kimiko''': Guess being a junkie was good for something after all.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Romeo and fuckin' Juliet. You two survive this war, I give you six months tops.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy search the ground floor of Fort Harmony while the Boys are in the basement below looking for the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sniffs]'' Smells like deer piss. The last time I was here, I was fresh off the front lines, still picking Nazi brains out of my hair. And only the best of the best got selected for Dr. Vought's trials.
:'''Homelander''': Hmmph.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Not soft little hog-chompers.
:'''Homelander''': Of course. No, I forgot how tough you were.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hey, I'm not the weirdo who doesn't fuck. I mean, your cock's as useless as your cape. What's the point of being famous if you're not getting your dіck wet?
:'''Homelander''': Oh, my dіck was sopping wet when I pulled it out of Stormfront and wiped it on her fucking chin!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; looks down at the decomposed corpses]'' Ooh, look. More uggos. 
:'''Homelander''': Friends of yours?
:''[They unknowingly set off the motion detector that the Boys set up near the stairs]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Oh, shit. They're right above us.
:'''Butcher''': We best get the fuck outta here. Come on.
:'''Hughie''': Hey. Hey, what about the V1?
:'''Mother's Milk''': If Bombsight has the V1, then it saves us from having to torch it.
:'''Hughie''': What are you talking about? Who's &quot;us&quot;?
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' What? You think the world needs more immortal cunts, do ya?
:'''Hughie''': We need it to save Annie and Kimiko! You've been planning this this whole time, haven't you?!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh. Homelander will hear us.
:'''Hughie''': ''[to Mother's Milk]'' And you, you've just been going along with it again.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We can't take the risk, Hughie. And if she has to be collateral damage so that Homelander dies and my daughter lives, we ain't got no fucking choice!
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, easy for you to say. It won't fucking kill you!
:'''Butcher''': Well, at least he knows when to keep his gob shut and do as he's fuckin' told!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Excuse me?
:'''Frenchie''': No, no, no. We don't have time for this. We need to find a way out now.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Wanna know a little secret, Butcher? I ''cheered'' when I found out that you were dying, 'cause at least we'd finally be done with your miserable ass.
:'''Hughie''': You know, I used to say to these guys, &quot;Don't give up on Butcher. There's good in him fighting to get out.&quot; I was wrong. If there was ''anything'' human in there, it's dead. Underneath that chestful of octo-cocks, you are just a fucking monster.
:'''Butcher''': Well, maybe I like it better that way.
:'''Hughie''': That parasite's not just in you. It ''is'' you. ''You're'' the cancer!
:'''Frenchie''': ''Lower your voices.''
:'''Hughie''': You are just as bad as Homelander, maybe worse. And I'm not gonna let you drag us all down with you.
:'''Butcher''': And whatcha gonna do about it?
:'''Hughie''': I'll fucking kill you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': ''[chuckles]'' Tough guy, my ass.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What?
:'''Homelander''': You, your whole bit. This whole &quot;guts and glory&quot; thing. What a fucking joke. I read your classified file. Your brother won a Silver Star for bravery at [[w:Battle of Anzio|Anzio]], and that's what made you beg your father to buy you a spot in Dr. Vought's trials. Because it killed you to see your brother dripping in all that glory, making you look all the more feeble in comparison.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't know shit about me.
:'''Homelander''': Really? I know that when they tried to inject you with the V, you were so fucking petrified that they had to strap you to the table. And you pissed yourself, crying for your mommy like the whiny, spoiled little rich boy that you are. They gave you the world, and you? You deserve ''nothing.''
:''[Soldier Boy stands by as Homelander walks into a small chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Oh, Christ. What's this shithole now?
:''[Soldier Boy shuts the door while Homelander isn't looking and turns the wheel to lock him inside the chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': What are you doing?!
:''[Soldier Boy bends the wheel with his bare hands and tears it off the door]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, well done. I'll be out of here in 30 seconds!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. Maybe not.
:''[Soldier Boy pulls down a lever to open a radioactive valve. Homelander's face immediately starts blistering from the radiation.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': It's enriched uranium. They'd stick us Supes in there to see if we could survive an atomic bomb. Now, for a normal joe, they'd be dead in minutes. But for you, it's a stomach flu. Good luck, though, getting out of a Supe-proof cell while you're bleeding out of your ass.
:''[Homelander fails to kill Soldier Boy by lasering him. He punches the glass as Soldier Boy walks off.]''
:'''Homelander''': Where are you going?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'm gonna go destroy any V1 that I find, you Triple Crown cock jockey.
:'''Homelander''': Why?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't get it, do you? How much I can't fucking stand you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Homelander trapped inside the uranium chamber]''
:'''Butcher''': ''[laughs]'' Oh, if only the world could see you now. Not so fuckin' super, are ya? You, uh... ''[points at Homelander's face]'' You got a bit of... ''[pause; Homelander coughs]'' Did your dad put you in timeout? Ooh… That's gotta sting, knowin' he'd rather spend eternity all alone than with the likes of you. What's the matter? Cunt got your tongue? Will wonders ever cease? ''[chuckles; lights cigarette]'' Tell me something. If you do get the juice in you, you think that makes you a god, don't ya? Seems like I know you pretty well after all. Which is why I know that even if you had a billion twats garglin' your bollocks and singin' &quot;Hosanna&quot;, you still wouldn't be happy. 'Cause deep down, you're just a weak, thin-skinned, needy little boy. You beat the shit outta your own son. Don't get weaker than that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs weakly while groaning in pain]'' Ryan is alive… because he's strong. 'Cause he's my son. The son of God.
:'''Butcher''': You ain't no god. How's about I go fetch the virus, and then we'll watch you shit your fuckin' spine out?
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You don't have it, do you? The virus.
:'''Butcher''': …Don't I?
:'''Homelander''': No, you don't. You would have used it by now. ''[coughs; laughs hysterically]'' You have no way to stop me, do you? Oh, William. You have no idea what you're up against. You can't intervene. I ''will'' get the V1, and when I do, I'm gonna flay you alive. You, Starlight–All the nonbelievers. You're all gonna ''fuckin' drown'' in your own blood.
:'''Butcher''': I promise you, before I die... I'll fuckin' have you. ''[walks away]''
:'''Homelander''': YOU'RE ALL FUCKING PASTE! I can take what's mine, and that makes this WHOLE FUCKING SHITBALL ''MY BIRTHRIGHT! '''MY DESTINY!'''''

==''&quot;One-Shots&quot;'' [5.05]==
:'''Firecracker''': Next up is a $500 million ad blitz with OOH, e-blasts, print and digital. Ain’t nobody won’t know about the Democratic Church of America… and its chosen prophet.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Prophets are servants.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course, sir. Great point. We’re just trying to ease people into it.
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no. We need to prepare America for my ascension. We must be honest. We must be direct. I like “savior.” Or–Or…
:'''Oh Father''': Lord. Yes, I couldn’t agree more, sir. Religion is not about being meek. We should dominate the seven mountains of society, bring the Kingdom of Heaven to Earth! Amen!
:'''Homelander''': Amen.
:'''Firecracker''': Amen! I love all that!
:'''The Deep''': So fucking dope.
:'''Oh Father''': Easter is just around the corner. How perfect would it be for your second coming to come on the day of Jesus' resurrection?
:'''Homelander''': Mmm… Second coming? Let's be clear: I am not the son of God.
:'''Oh Father''': Well, of course. Many people believe that Jesus is both God incarnate and the son.
:'''Homelander''': Well, that's just confusing. I don't want my church getting involved in all... that.
:'''Firecracker''': Exactly. Besides, if we pull up our timeline, you won't have… ''[picks up a bag with a large book inside]'' this.
:''[Firecracker kneels in front of Homelander, who accepts the book. He takes it out of the bag and sees &quot;The Homelander Bible&quot; with himself embossed on the cover.]''
:'''Oh Father''': We're gonna drag our feet because of a book?
:'''Firecracker''': Not a book. ''The'' book. The Homelander Bible.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause; lifts the book with his hands]'' Heavy.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[quietly]'' What the fuck?
:'''Firecracker''': It's got the Old Testament, the New Testament, and the brand new American Testament, written by A.I. trained on the works of Pat Robertson. See, we need to pass the torch, sir. From Jesus to you. Sir, we don't get more than one chance at a first impression. Are we really gonna rush something this important? We ain't [w:Arby's|Arby's]], after all.
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Firecracker''': We're the [[w:The Cheesecake Factory|Cheesecake Factory]].
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs deeply]'' Okay. We'll do it your way.
:'''Firecracker''': Thank you.
:'''Sister Sage''': You do realize this kind of sudden religious upheaval is likely to generate widespread civil unrest?
:'''Firecracker''': Local law should be able to handle the suburbs, but we could use extra hands in major metros.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, let's recall all Supes stationed overseas. American heroes should be protecting America, not Who-Gives-A-Fuckistan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Firecracker''': We ain't doin' that again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[chuckles]'' That's what you said the last six times.
:'''Firecracker''': No, I really mean it this time.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You seem a little out of it. Did you nut? 'Cause usually, you nut.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' Were you baptized?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah, in front of half of Chestnut Hill. Governor Sproul did the honors. My family kept up appearances, of course. Then, we never set foot in church again.
:'''Firecracker''': I had lunch today with the reverend who baptized me. He's been gettin' heat to switch over to our church. You think Homelander might be open to going easy on him? Just... give him a little more time? I wouldn't ask if it was just anybody, but that man practically raised me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So you didn't nut. You know, this whole Homelander as God shit, it's... it's fucking ridiculous.
:'''Firecracker''': Really? You think so?
:'''Soldier Boy''': If he's the second coming, then what does that make me? Joseph? I mean, talk about the biggest cuck in history. Man trades his best cow to bag some hot-ass virgin, and then God comes and squirts his baby gravy up her meat wallet. Fuck that.
:'''Firecracker''': I guess I've been struggling with where to place Homelander in my heart in relation to Jesus and the Lord.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course I worship Homelander. I mean, he's always been a god to me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Look, I'll tell you this. If there is a God... sure as hell didn't come out of my balls. I gotta go.
:'''Firecracker''': Where you off to?
:'''Soldier Boy''': L.A… ''[snickers]'' I fucking hate L.A.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker is filming her new episode of TruthBomb and starts reading her opening monologue from a teleprompter]''
:'''Firecracker''': Welcome to ''Truthbomb''. Our top story tonight's a personal one. It's the story of my hometown church, Holy Baptist of Daytona. It was the church I grew up in. Sang my hymns from the pews there every Sunday. But that church... That church…
:''[The teleprompter stops scrolling]''
:'''Firecracker''': ''[beat]'' That church... has become a hotbed of Starlighter infestation. And my old pastor, Reverend Greg Dupree, has been infected by Starlight's seditious propaganda. Now... I never told a soul this, but when I was a little girl, the reverend regularly had me over for supper. Alone. ''[pause; chuckles]'' No. Nothing ever happened to me, but... ''[sighs]'' I heard stories about his &quot;Fish Fry Fridays.&quot; And if that ain't code for child groomin', I don't know what is. How much longer are we gonna let these institutional pedo churches diddle our babies? Americans deserve better. They deserve... Homelander. They deserve the Democratic Church of America. ''[starts crying]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Would you like some knee pads?
:'''The Deep''': Sorry, what?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're looking at me like you wanna suck my hog. So I'm asking you if you would like some knee pads.
:'''Homelander''': Go easy on the little guy. He brought me Stan Edgar.
:'''The Deep''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Homelander''': You may leave.
:''[Soldier Boy stays behind with Homelander in the conference room as the rest of The Seven leave]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What crawled up your shithole?
:'''Homelander''': No idea what you mean.
:'''Soldier Boy''': When you're pissy, you tend to make everybody else's lives pissy too. Stan Edgar still stonewalling you?
:'''Homelander''': I've talked to him three times now. Says he has no idea where the V1 is. Heart rate steady as a rock. I'm starting to believe him.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That slippery fuck used to fetch my cоcaіnе. ''[pause]'' You know what? I have an idea. Why don't I take a crack at him? ''[Homelander stares at him]'' What, you don't trust me?
:'''Homelander''': Well, you did lock me in a room with nuclear material and tried to stop me getting the V1, so I'm sure you can understand my hesitance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You could've killed me at Fort Harmony, but you didn't. Maybe I feel like I owe you.
:'''Homelander''': Or maybe you're lying.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. ''[inhales deeply]'' Give me an hour. I'll meet you at Edgar's cell.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hughie''': If you and M.M. still think–
:'''Butcher''': Oh, for fuck's sakes, Hughie. Knock it off with this V1 shite! You're doin' me fuckin' head in! ''[sees his dog Terror eating out of the trash]'' Oi, Terror. Cut it out. Come on. ''[to Hughie]'' Now, listen. If we do find that stuff, we're not makin' any fuckin' vaccines out of it, alright? We're not the department of fuckin' health. We burn that shit before Homelander gets his paws on it, and that's that.
:'''Hughie''': Well, if you wanna kill yourself, knock yourself out, but why do you have to decide for the rest of us?
:'''Butcher''': Oh, 'cause I'm fuckin' right! 'Cause I've always been right! I've been tellin' you lot from the fuckin' start the sky is fallin', and guess what? The sky fuckin' fell.
:'''Hughie''': Well, you kinda helped bring it down.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, don't give me that bollocks. Listen, Homelander thinks he's a fuckin' god. Once he becomes immortal, he's gonna start killin' like one, and we are talkin' millions of people. Now, are you tellin' me you're honestly happy to risk all of that for a life on the run with your girl, knowin' that you could've stopped it? You can live with that, can ya?
:'''Hughie''': What if it was Becca? You'd just let her die?
:'''Butcher''': …I ''did'' let her die.
:'''Hughie''': Look… I know that Homelander comes first. I really do. All I'm asking is that we try. Annie and Kimiko deserve that much.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mister Marathon and Malchemical try to convince Soldier Boy to kill Homelander while he is unconscious]''
:'''Mister Marathon''': Hey, man, we don't have a problem with you. Honest, ''[stutters]'' but–but fuck this fucking guy. You know, he fuckеd my life. Look, if you help us get rid of him, then we all win, and you–you can have The Seven. And I don't even, like, really care if you bring me back or whatever.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need to kill him to get The Seven.
:'''Mister Marathon''': No. Yeah, of course not, but what about all that creepy shit he's doing with that church? I mean, they're rounding up everybody cool. All the hοοkers, the drug dealers.
:'''Malchemical''': They wanna ban pοrn. I mean, they wanna ban fucking abortions!
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay, well, banning abortion would be a big problem for me personally.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Exactly, for all of us. So, if we kill him, we can stop worrying about being cops or gods or asexual weirdos. You know, we can go back to fucking and–and being fucking awesome!
:'''Malchemical''': Look, we know you've got that fucked-up chest blast thing. I mean, I was at Herogasm. I saw it.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Just finish him now. Take away his powers, so we can curb stomp him while we have the chance. 
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' He is a fucking asexual weirdo.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Malchemical''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But as much as it pains me to say this, he's ''my'' fucking asexual weirdo. Nobody fucks my son but me.
:'''Mister Marathon''': What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …That came out wrong.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker sees Homelander sitting on the couch in the Seven common room]''
:'''Firecracker''': Homelander… How was L.A.? Did you catch tonight's ''Truthbomb?''
:'''Homelander''': I did indeed. And it was a real barn-burner. Well done.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[smiles]'' Thank you, sir. That means the world.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' How's sеx with my father? ''[Firecracker's smile disappears]'' Is he good at it? Are you thinking about me when you're making love to him?
:'''Firecracker''': I never meant to cross a line or offend you in...
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Don't fret, little one. I don't care about the sеx, really. But I ''do'' care about your little chats after sеx.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, whatever Soldier Boy told you, I can assure you that I...
:'''Homelander''': You mean your inner turmoil when it comes to me and, uh, Jesus? Are you thinking of Jesus when you're praising me?
:'''Firecracker''': No, you are my one and only savior.
:'''Homelander''': You say that, but your jagged little heart is whirring like a hummingbird. ''[sighs; gets up from the couch]'' You're supposed to worship me, love me and me alone.
:'''Firecracker''': I do.
:'''Homelander''': I believed in you. Turns out, you don't believe in me. ''[pause]'' I need you to collect your things and leave.
:'''Firecracker''': But I ''do'' believe in you. I love you! I am the only one here who ever has! I gave you ''everything!'' I gave you my soul! Everybody else here, they're just... They're just scared of you. Or they want something from you, but I have always loved you for you. Just the strongest, smartest, best man on Earth.
:'''Homelander''': ''[scoffs]'' Man?
:'''Firecracker''': No, no, no, no, no. A god. No. No, ''the'' God. My Lord, that look you used to get when you'd suckle me? I felt like Mother Mary herself. I felt blessed to nourish someone as important as you. ''[pause; Homelander sighs]'' But nothing I ever did was good enough, was it? You cast me out into the cold, which was so much worse than never feeling your warmth in the first place. So all I have been tryin' to do is to get you to see me the way that you used to. Hell, only reason I was with Soldier Boy was that your reflected light is better than no light at all. Please, sir. I love you. We all need love, don't we? Even God.
:''[Homelander reaches his hand out to touch Firecracker's cheek, then kills her by impaling her head on the left wing of an eagle statue]''

==''&quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;'' [5.06]==
:''[Hughie and Annie are laying down on the hood of his car looking at clouds together]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so that one?
:'''Annie''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Hughie''': It’s like a rabbit, but it’s got way too many feet.
:'''Annie''': Really? I see a frog eating a dick. This is definitely in my top five.
:'''Hughie''': Top five what?
:'''Annie''': Things to do with you.
:'''Hughie''':  You’re saying that like… this is the last time we’re gonna get to do this. Hey, listen to me. The guys are gonna find Bombsight, they’ll get the V1. You’re not dying. We will have plenty of time to look for filthy shapes in the clouds.
:'''Annie''': God, I don’t know where it comes from. This… unshakeable hope.
:'''Hughie''': Whenever I’d get upset as a kid, which was a lot… my dad would always say, “You know, son, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react.” And that was infuriating. But then, I spent a year in an internment camp, and I had no control over anything. I’d just lay there at night, just… so fucking angry, hearing my dad’s voice in my head… but then I finally understood what he meant. ‘Cause the only thing I had left was… hope. And it is ''really'' fucking hard to hang on to, but I… I’m trying.
:'''Annie''': I think… you might be low-key the strongest person I know.
:'''Hughie''': I’d prefer high-key… ''[Annie chuckles]'' but thank you.
:'''Annie''': ''[beat; points at the sky]'' Look, it’s–it’s Big Bird eating a dick.
:'''Hughie''': You see an unsettling amount of dicks up there, I’m just saying.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy look around Bombsight's empty house to find the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': You sure this is the right address?
:'''Homelander''': I'm sure.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, there's no sign of Bombsight... or fucking anyone. Maybe Crime Analytics got a bad tip.
:''[Homelander sees a laptop on the table. When he opens it up, a video of him and Stormfront having sex starts playing. He notices Soldier Boy watching along with him and closes the laptop.]'' 
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck was that?
:'''Homelander''': I can explain.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That was Clara. You told me she killed herself.
:'''Homelander''': She did, after Ryan did ''that'' to her. It's his fault.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So then what? You locked her in your apartment like some kind of amputee fuck doll...
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ...and filmed her for kicks?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no! It wasn't like that! I did... I did everything I could to keep her alive, to–to make her happy. ''[pause; Soldier Boy punches him]'' Just listen to me, okay?! It wasn't all like... that. I couldn't let her go. I didn't know how... because I loved her. And so did you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're goddamn right I loved her.
:'''Homelander''': She wouldn't want us fighting over her.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Don't fucking tell me what she would want! You knew her for five minutes; I was with her for decades! 
:'''Homelander''': Hold–Hold on. This–This is a setup. Someone's trying to separate us. This has been plan... Fucking Sage. It's Sage. You see? She's trying to screw with us. ''[Soldier Boy turns around to leave]'' Oh, come on! I can't find the V1 without you!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; turns back around]'' Good. You don't deserve to live forever.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher tries to call Bombsight using one of his old phone numbers, but gets a fax machine instead]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': That a fuckin’ fax machine?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, it’s the last of the numbers she had for him. ''[to Golden Geisha]'' Oi. Twenty-three fuckin' numbers you had for Bombsight, and they’re all fuckin' shite?
:'''Golden Geisha''': Do you know how to delete them? I was telling you the truth. I have no idea where Bombsight is, or how to reach him. So just let me go.
:'''Butcher''': Kimiko, keep an eye on her.
:''[Frenchie joins Butcher and M.M. on their way back to their hideout]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck do we do now?
:'''Butcher''': Fetch us some pliers and put the screws to her. She knows more than she’s lettin’ on.
:'''Frenchie''': Or she doesn’t. I’m sorry, but she’s not that good of an actress.
:''[M.M. and Frenchie draw their weapons when they see Sister Sage inside]''
:'''Sister Sage''': He’s right. ''[sarcastically]'' Ooh, I know. The villain switching sides in the final hour. What a twist, a shock that never happens. But unclench those assholes, fellas. I’m here to help. I’m a free agent now. I came alone. You can shoot me in the heart whenever you like.
:'''Butcher''': That’s a good idea. ''[takes out and cocks his gun]''
:'''Sister Sage''': That would go against our mutual interest.
:'''Butcher''': Which is?
:'''Sister Sage''': Stopping a petulant, laser-eyed narcissist from also becoming immortal. I want him dead as much as you do.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You spent the last couple of years building Homelander up, and now you wanna tear him down? Why the fuck should we trust you?
:'''Sister Sage''': You can’t trust me. Honestly, you shouldn’t, but you will.
:'''Frenchie''': And why would we do that?
:'''Sister Sage''': I know Campbell and Starlight are headed to plant your little virus. You can trace anyone, if you know what to look for. And you baboons, you leave a trail of banana peels wherever you go. I could have stopped you, I could have killed you... but I didn’t.
:'''Butcher''': That virus is gonna wipe out the fuckin’ lot of ya. And you don’t strike me as the suicide type.
:'''Sister Sage''': I will be in my nice, quiet bunker, reading [[w:Ludwig Wittgenstein|Wittgenstein]] in peace. That is, unless that bleached blonde baby gets his hands on V1 and survives. You must have realized by now Granny out there has no clue how to contact Bombsight, but I do. And I can get him here. So... let me help.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': I wanted to say... I'm very sorry about this. I watched every episode of ''Undercover Geisha'' when I was a kid. I loved it, even the parts that were ridiculous racist stereotypes. It meant so much to see someone who looked like me on TV. ''[brief pause]'' We watched with Japanese subtitles. It's how I learned English.
:'''Golden Geisha''': If you're such a big fan, let me go.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Désolé'', but we cannot. Not until we get the V1 that Bombsight possesses.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Wait, that's what you're after? V1? ''[laughs]''
:'''Kimiko''': What–What's so funny?
:'''Golden Geisha''': I'll tell Bombsight to just give it to you. I sure as hell don't want it.
:'''Kimiko''': ...He stole the V1 for you, so you two could be together forever. ''[pause]'' But you didn't take it.
:'''Golden Geisha''': ''[shakes her head]'' I said no... which is why he left. I guess, for him, watching me get old was too painful.
:'''Frenchie''': I'm sorry, I do not understand. Why won't you take it?
:'''Golden Geisha''': To live forever? It'd be torture. ''[scoffs]'' You're both so young. You wouldn't understand.
:'''Kimiko''': Maybe I would.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Summer is only beautiful when you know winter is coming.
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Kimiko]'' Is this how you feel?
:'''Kimiko''': ''[nods]'' Annie and I talked about it. We'd have to... ''[signing]'' We'd have to watch you and Hughie waste away. Neither of us wants to die, but... we don't wanna be vampires either. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Legend leads Homelander inside the Boys' hideout, which is deserted]''
:'''The Legend''': Okay, um... 
:'''Homelander''': No one here.
:'''The Legend''': I grant you, it–it looks like that, yeah. But this–this is their hideout, so I'm sure there's plenty of clues all over here. ''[picks up a receipt]'' Here you go. ''[Homelander sighs]'' Oh, no. Well, this is nothing. But, you know, they have to have left something behind, you know?
:'''Homelander''': ''[looks at the receipt; chuckles]'' Hmmph. It's not nothing.
:'''The Legend''': It's a Taco Bell receipt. 
:'''Homelander''': No, ''this is Sage!'' Taunting me! 
:'''The Legend''': Okay.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs frustratingly; sits on bed]'' This makes no sense. This makes no sense. This makes no sense! ''[chuckles]'' You said I would get the V1. You said I'd be a god. Did I do something wrong? Did I fail you? I did everything you asked me to. I gave my boy up. Please, don't leave me here to just rot. Don't just let me become ''nothing'' like ''him.'' Please…
:'''The Legend''': I gotta assume… The only reason you're saying all this stuff is, you're... You're not gonna let me walk out of here alive, are you? Yeah? Okay. Yeah. ''[pause]'' Alright, look, kid. I've been around a long time and I… This is just how it goes. You know all those old Supes at the home? Every one of them had their moments in the sun and they all thought it was gonna go on forever. And every one of them got shoved out in the end. They all got shoved out. All of them. And I know what I'm talking about; I did the shoving. I mean, look at Goldie. One minute, she's on the set of ''Undercover Geisha'', getting finger-popped by Lorenzo Lamas. The next, she's shilling for VoughtAlert necklaces and Activia poop yogurt.
:'''Homelander''': Geisha sells VoughtAlert necklaces?
:'''The Legend''': Guess you don't watch your own news channel. The point is, look, there comes a day… I got shoved out, too. Never saw it coming. Did not see that coming, and I fought it like hell. But in the end... bupkis. There is a natural order to things. And the more you fight the inevitable, the more the inevitable just… cunt-punts you. ''[pats Homelander's shoulder]'' Yep.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; gets up]'' You're not scared of me.
:'''The Legend''': No, I'm not scared of you. I… I feel for you, kid. I do. I mean, you're a fucking whackjob. But, you know, there's talent. So… No surprise there. ''[pause]'' So, there you go. Do what you gotta do.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' ...You can go.
:'''The Legend''': I–I can go?
:'''Homelander''': Leave. No words. Just go. Now. Go. ''Now.''
:'''The Legend''': Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
:''[After The Legend leaves the Boys' hideout, Homelander makes a call on his cell phone]''
:'''Operator''': How can I help you, sir? 
:'''Homelander''': I need the tracking coordinates for a VoughtAlert necklace.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Tough skin or not, I can still break your fucking neck!
:'''Bombsight''': Ben, stop. Please.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; lets Bombsight go]'' Goddammit.
:'''Bombsight''': ''[beat]'' I can't give it to you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goldie doesn't even wanna take it.
:'''Bombsight''': Then maybe someday, I'll find someone who will!
:'''Soldier Boy''': You were always gonna fuck it up with Goldie anyway. You could never hold down a girl! It was either a smack needle up your dick or— 
:'''Bombsight''': Having to stand next to you? You were everyone's favorite from the start, especially Clara. Everything they wanted us to be, everything they were working towards, they saw it in you. I fucking hated you for it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No. No, I wasn't everything Clara wanted. I didn't know how to be.
:'''Bombsight''': But you loved her. What wouldn't you give to have her back... forever?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …I really fuckin' hate you.
:'''Bombsight''': No shit.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But we don't have to kill each other. I can take away your immortality... and your powers. You won't have to live forever alone. Then, you and Goldie can spend whatever time you have left like you want.
:'''Bombsight''': Why would you do that for me?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd do it for the V1.
:''[Bombsight hands a case to Soldier Boy, who opens it to find a V1 syringe inside. The Boys hear an explosion from far away and run towards it. Cut to Bombsight looking at the wound near his shoulder.]''
:'''Bombsight''': This is the first time I've seen my blood in... I can't remember.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander finds Soldier Boy with the V1 syringe he received from Bombsight. The Boys and Sister Sage watch them from the nearby woods.]''
:'''Homelander''': Don't. I don't wanna fight you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks down at the syringe]'' You know, Clara used to say the craziest shit. That I was the strongest Supe alive, the ultimate expression of what we could be... but she was wrong. ''[pause]'' She hadn't met you yet.
:''[Soldier Boy offers the syringe to Homelander, who accepts it]''
:'''Butcher''': No.
:'''Sister Sage''': I don't understand. He wasn't supposed to... It's impossible.
:'''Homelander''': But you hate me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I love her more... and this is what she would want.
:''[Homelander lasers his left arm and injects the V1 into his wound. His eyes immediately start flickering and he kneels to the ground in pain. The Boys watch in horror as Homelander screams and shoots powerful lasers into the sky.]''
:'''Butcher''': '''''Run.'''''

==''&quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;'' [5.07]==
:''[A V1-empowered Homelander sits in President Calhoun's chair in the Oval Office. He hears a knock at the door]''
:'''Homelander''': Come in! ''[in a cheerful tone, as Ashley and Calhoun enter]'' Hello, you two. Isn't it a beautiful day?
:'''Calhoun''': ''[nervously]'' You're welcome to use this office as long as you need. 
:'''Homelander''': I know. Let's get right to it! While Oh Father is hard at work on my divine unveiling, I have a few action items I need you to handle.
:'''Ashley''': Of course. Anything, sir.
:'''Homelander''': The Democratic Church of America is to be the ''official'' national religion, based around the one true god: Me. 
:'''Calhoun''': Great idea.
:'''Homelander''': I want every boundary between church and state dissolved. I want troops sent into every sanctuary city that took in Starlighters. Issue an executive order banning abortion. Also, breastfeeding is now mandatory. Babies need their mothers, not fake milk. Actually, outlaw that, too.
:'''Ashley''': Sir? 
:'''Homelander''': ''[intensely] Ban nut milk.'' The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was making you think nuts were milk. ''[snickers after a short silence]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': Those are all, uh, fantastic ideas, sir, um... I'll run them by Congress– 
:'''Homelander''': No, disband it.
:'''Calhoun''': Sorry? 
:'''Homelander''': Disband Congress. It's better for freedom. 
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, I don't really have that authority. 
:'''Homelander''': ''[frowns]'' Ashley, do me a favor. Read Steven's mind. I want to know if he's a true believer. 
:'''Calhoun''': But of... course I am, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific! Then you have nothing to worry about. ''[gets up and steps over to Ashley]'' Do it. 
:''[He rips off her wig, and she gasps and covers her face in shame as &quot;Back Ashley&quot; is revealed]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': ''[revolted]'' What the fuck is that? 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': Don't look!
:'''Homelander''': Don't make me ask again. 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': ''[stammering in fear]'' Sir, I–I... Sir, I...
:'''Ashley''': ''[sighs; steels herself and turns back to Homelander]'' He's terrified of you, sir. He thinks you're just a tiny bit psychotic.
:'''Homelander''': Steven! ''[steps towards Calhoun, glaring intensely]'' Here I am. A living god. ''[rests his hands on Calhoun's shoulders]'' Right before your eyes. And still, your faith wavers? ''[beat; Calhoun is clearly too terrified to answer]'' It's okay. No, I'm not angry. ''[clasps his head gently]'' But I ''am'' disappointed.
:''[He crushes Calhoun's head into a pulp, then wipes the blood off his hands on a sofa. An utterly terrified Ashley stares at Calhoun's body as Homelander sits back down at the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie sees Kimiko suffering from radiation exposure inside a homemade uranium chamber while Butcher and Frenchie watch]''
:'''Hughie''': What the fuck is going on in here?
:'''Kimiko''': I'm okay.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' The second she's ready, we go the next dose, alright?
:'''Hughie''': &quot;Next dose?&quot; Are you kidding?! Look at her! What are you doing?
:'''Butcher''': Plan fuckin' B, my son. If at first you don't succeed, find another hole to fuck. See, Soldier Boy's flashy tіt blast got me thinkin', he–he weren't born with that power. The Ivans gave it to him through a consistent application of scientific methodology.
:'''Frenchie''': They threw an atom bomb worth of radiation at him.
:'''Butcher''': Right. So, usin' the research we nicked from 'em a few donkeys back, me and Frenchie are doin' the same thing to Kimiko. She gets Soldier Boy's power, she tіt-blasts Homelander, bees and fuckin' honey.
:'''Hughie''': So when we kept asking what you two were up to, and you kept saying, &quot;Mind your fuckin' business, cunt,&quot; it was this?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah.
:'''Hughie''': Butcher, this is... the most insane-ass shit I ever heard. In a few weeks, you're gonna somehow do what it took the Russians over a decade?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, 'cause unlike the Ivans, we got us a livin', breathin' supercomputer bunked down in student services.
:'''Hughie''': Sage? All she does is self-medicate and binge [[w:Love Island (American TV series)|''Love Island'']]. This could fucking kill Kimiko. Frenchie…
:'''Frenchie''': No. It's not my wish.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck Butcher. Who cares what he wants?
:''[Kimiko coughs and stumbles out of the uranium chamber]'' 
:'''Kimiko''': Not Butcher. ''[panting heavily]'' Me. It's my call.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Annie''': Oh Father's up to something big at Vought Studios, but we don't know what. Could be a trap.
:'''Frenchie''': Could be.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' You stay here with Kimiko and Sage. We'll bust into the studio, nab the holy twat, stomp on his bollocks till he gives us Homelander's next move. And then I'll do the cunt and we'll call it an honest day's work, yeah?
:'''Hughie''': No. Quit acting like we're going on a milk run. It's over. ''[voice breaking]'' We lost.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' [[w:Victoria Beckham|Posh Spice]] was easily the most shit member of [[w:Spice Girls|the squad]]. Could barely sing or dance. No discernible talent whatsoever. Wasn't even featured on [[w:Wannabe|&quot;Wannabe&quot;]], but did that stop her? No. You look at her now... still married with [[w:David Beckham|Becks]]. Fifteen engagement rings, 32 ''Vogue'' covers, inducted by Prince William into the Order of the bloody British Empire. Even I doubted her move into women's apparel, but her line is a staple at Paris fuckin' Fashion Week. You see, despite her obvious disadvantages–includin' a tragic inability to smile–she never gave up, and we ain't givin' up either.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shakes his head]'' Your fuckin' pep talks.
:'''Frenchie''': Terrible.
:'''Annie''': The worst.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, bollocks. That was a fuckin' knockout.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Alone and depressed, The Deep tosses an aluminum can into the sea. A hammerhead shark appears and [[w:Samuel L. Jackson|speaks to him]]]''
:'''Xander''': Yo! You gonna get that, bro?
:'''The Deep''': Xander! ''[chuckles]'' Hey, what you doing here? So good to see you, man.
:'''Xander''': We wouldn't want a little guppy to get caught in that can, my man. Come on in, grab it. ''[swims in circles]''
:'''The Deep''': I've had such a fucked day, man. You wouldn't believe it, bro.
:'''Xander''': Yeah. Get in the water, man.
:'''The Deep''': No. You're not... You're not listening to me–
:'''Xander''': ''[angrily]'' Ah, shut the fuck up! We know you were responsible for the pipeline genocide. Remember March 15th, motherfucker!
:'''The Deep''': No... No, wait, that–That wasn't me, man!
:'''Xander''': If you step one foot, one fucking stupid-ass simian toe in the water ''ANYWHERE''—an ocean, a stream, a fucking puddle—on God, son, you're dead! We're gonna ''KILL YOU!'' You understand, you dumb motherfucker?! Water is fucking off limits to you! ''YOU ARE '''DEAD''' TO US! [swimming away]'' Bitch-ass!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy sees Homelander standing over a scale model of a Homelander-themed amusement park]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': The fuck is all this?
:'''Homelander''': Hey. HomeLand. Next phase of the reboot. Showing the faithful my boundless love for them. ''[points at a monument of himself]'' That there? The Homelander Mount. We're saying that this is where the angel visited me, and I ascended to godhood.
:'''Soldier Boy''': …Right.
:'''Homelander''': You're gonna love this. ''[waves his hand over a rollercoaster]'' This area here? We're calling it: &quot;Soldier Boy! Father of God!&quot; All the fastest rides are gonna be there, and every night, there's gonna be a ticker tape parade, honoring you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' I'm gonna head down to Bogotá. Figure I'll snort and fuck my way through the banana republics.
:'''Homelander''': Uh... When are you coming back?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Probably not for… ever.
:'''Homelander''': What? Look, if you don't like the park, I mean, forget it. I don't–I don't care about any of it. You want hοοker and blow? I'll get you all the drugs and all the wrinkly old whοres in America.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No, you're not hearing me.
:'''Homelander''': No, you're not hearing ''me.'' I am where I am because you chose me. To help me. So, I want you to have whatever you want.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What I want is to get away.
:'''Homelander''': From what? ''[scoffs]'' Or from who?
:'''Soldier Boy''': This just ain't my bag, kid.
:'''Homelander''': I welded your shield back together, you never use it. I hired you a three-star Michelin chef, all you ever order is meatloaf and chili. I even had L.J. mock up a new super suit for you. 
:''[Homelander pulls out a poster of Soldier Boy wearing an American flag-patterned suit]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, God. See, that's what I'm talking about.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, God? What?!
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't want that. And another thing: I gave you the V1 because of Clara. Because that's what she would've wanted. This was never gonna be a &quot;playing catch on the front lawn&quot;, &quot;fixing up the old Impala&quot; bullshit. You're too weird.
:'''Homelander''': Stop fucking saying that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': And you're no god. No angel came to you. You had a wet dream about some chick with big, juicy tіts. If that makes you a god, then I'm a fucking god every night.
:'''Homelander''': '''I ''AM'' GOD!'''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' Would it help if I said, &quot;It's not you, it's me&quot;?
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs softly]'' If you wanna go, go.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sighs; pats Homelander on the back]'' Good luck, son.
:''[Homelander suddenly grabs Soldier Boy from behind and puts him in a chokehold until he passes out]''
:'''Homelander''': I love you.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mother's Milk''': Help me out here. In the movie, was Homelander God, the [[w:Second Coming|Second Coming]], or Jesus' brother? 'Cause the world-building in there was fuckеd.
:'''Annie''': Does it even matter? I mean, they will believe whatever he tells them. What is the fucking point of saving people if they don't wanna be saved? This is what they want.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[beat]'' Alright. So, back when my Gramps got killed by Soldier Boy, shit got rough. Neighborhood kids laughed, called me soft, shit like that. And then one day, I find this pigeon on the sidewalk, wing busted. He was in bad shape. So, I run inside, grab a shoebox and a first aid kit, and come to start nursin' it. I figure, if I can save just this one life, maybe it might somehow make up for... Anyway, those same fuckin' kids, they found out. And so now, it don't take a genius to go from Marvin Milk to Mother's Milk. &quot;Yo, Mother's Milk, you letting that sky rat suck on your tіttіеs or that dіck?&quot; They were relentless. Right up until the day when that little bird flew outta my house and right over their heads, good as new. And you know what, Annie? Here's the crazy thing: I loved my new name. 'Cause I loved helpin' people. I loved being kind, makin' my family proud. That name was a badge of honor for me. Now, last year, locked up in that detention center, something changed. My heart, it just got scarred over. Like the world had just broken it one too many times. And yeah, it got easier, just being cynical. Checking out. But I also hated myself a lot more. I went from being a mοthеrfuckеr with a heart to just being a mοthеrfuckеr. But you know what? Givin' a shit in a world where nobody gives a shit? It ain't soft. It's hard as hell… and that's the real me. ''[pause]'' And that's the real you, too.

==''&quot;Blood and Bone&quot;'' [5.08]==
:'''Homelander''': It's alright. I'm not here to hurt you.
:'''Ryan''': You mean like last time?
:'''Homelander''': Look at you. No harm done.
:'''Ryan''': How'd you find me?
:'''Homelander''': Crime Analytics caught wind of a young man flying outside Kolvereid. Tends to draw attention.
:'''Ryan''': I don't want your help.
:'''Homelander''': I know. You've made that very clear. But you're also the son of God, and you should not be sleeping in a barn. You can have a whole floor of the Tower. Do what you want with it, come and go as you please.
:'''Ryan''': I don't wanna be anywhere near you.
:'''Homelander''': Everything is different now. I've ascended. I'm immortal.
:'''Ryan''': Then, why do you give a shit about what happens to me?
:'''Homelander''': Because we're family. ''[Ryan scoffs]'' We have the same blood pumping through our veins.
:'''Ryan''': Yeah, well, you've got your shitty racist dad. So you don't need me.
:'''Homelander''': No, Soldier Boy doesn't matter. You and I, that's all that matters. I know you, because I ''am'' you. And you're me.
:'''Ryan''': Dad… Get fuckеd. I am nothing like you. You were already the most powerful person on Earth. And you were a lonely, miserable piece of fucking shit, throwing tantrums when you didn't get what you want. Why the fuck would more power make you any better? It's just going to make you an even more lonely, miserable piece of shit. Scaring people into calling you God doesn't make you God. And deep down, you know that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; tearfully sighs]'' It's okay. You don't know what's going on. It's okay… but you will.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[After M.M. kills Oh Father by blocking his mouth with a metal mouth gag, causing his head to explode and spill blood all around]''
:'''Hughie''': I really need a new job.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''The Deep''': Starlight... It was all a test. Yes! The universe is rewarding me for my loyalty, just like [[w:Sean Connery|Sean Connery]] rewarded [[w:Kevin Costner|Costner]] at the end of ''[[w:Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves|Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves]]''!
:'''Hughie''': Sweet ''Jesus'', you're a moron.
:'''The Deep''': ''[glances at him in annoyance, then points at Starlight]'' I'm gonna kill you. And then Homelander will finally see.
:'''Annie''': ''[to M.M. and Hughie]'' I got him. Keep going.
:''[She lunges at the Deep, carrying them both through a window and across Washington before they crash land on a seashore. They both pick themselves up, and the Deep keeps trying to attack her.]''
:'''Annie''': Why are you doing this, huh? Risking your life for a man who wouldn't even piss on you if you were on fire?
:'''The Deep''': I'm his right-hand bro! He'll piss on me whenever I want!
:'''Annie''': Listen... I know you're scared--
:'''The Deep''': I'm not scared of shit!
:'''Annie''': Deep, ''Kevin'' - I can see in your eyes. Homelander terrifies you. But he sure as fuck doesn't respect you. Don't you want to be free of it? Of him?
:'''The Deep''': That fucking mouth of yours...!
:'''Annie''': This isn't about me.
:'''The Deep''': ''[ranting]'' OF COURSE IT IS! I used to have it all! Real power, respect, a Top 50 STARmeter on [[w:IMDb|IMDb]] Pro! But all the bad shit started when ''you'' showed up! I LOST EVERYTHING!
:'''Annie''': ''You'' made those fucked-up choices. You ruined your own life. You're not a fucking baby. For once, take some responsibility for yourself.
:'''The Deep''': ''[exploding with rage] '''NOOOO!'''''
:''[They fight, and though the Deep manages to knock her to the ground once, Annie delivers several heavy blows, including one to his groin, before blasting him and sending him flying backwards into the sea. He is immediately surrounded by a mob of angry sharks.]''
:'''Sharks''': Justice for Ambrosius!
:'''The Deep''': ''[terrified]'' Oh my God! Oh shit, I'm so sorry! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Stay away from me! 
:''[He pitifully tries to swim back to shore, but a giant octopus grabs him by the leg.]''
:'''Octopus''': Say her name! 
:'''The Deep''': Fuck! I'm sorry! Oh shit!
:''[The octopus uses its tentacle to impale him through his backside, the tip erupting from his mouth. He is then dragged under, and the sharks devour him in a cloud of blood as Annie watches in shock.]''
:'''Annie''': ...Huh.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander gives his Easter address from the Oval Office and begins reading from a teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': My fellow Americans... Happy Easter. A day commemorating Jesus, who, as we all know, was tortured, stripped of his dignity and killed. And that's all well and good. But you're Americans. You deserve a God who doesn't die. A God who fights back. A God you can believe in. Well, today, I bring you good news. Recently, I was visited by an exquisite angel bearing the gift of revelation. As I bathed in her light, her heavenly lips spilled sweet truth into my ear, and I was awakened to my true purpose. Not just to be the world's greatest hero but to save all humanity. To be... the Second Coming. But in a way, really, I'm the First Coming. America... I am the Lord. Your savior. I am your God. And as such, I'm going to usher this world into a new, golden dawn. An age in which your God moves among you, seen and heard. Your prayers are truly answered when you visit homelander.church. And all I ask for in return… I simply ask that you open your hearts and put your faith in me. Those who accept my truth will be welcomed into a land of milk and honey. For I am your Fa…
:''[Homelander stares blankly at the teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': I am… ''[beat]'' But no matter what I do, some of you people will never accept me into your hearts. Never love me. Never believe in me. And to such heretics, I offer oblivion. And those who seek to destroy me, you will die the most horrible of deaths, as befits your wickedness. My reign will last forever, and when this world is cold and dead, I shall remain... eternal. God of the ashes.
:''[Butcher and Kimiko suddenly break into the Oval Office]''
:'''Butcher''': Evening, cunts. Daddy's home. 
:'''Homelander''': William. ''[pause]'' I was starting to think you weren't going to hold up your end of our deal.
:'''Butcher''': Scorched earth?
:'''Homelander''': A shame about the French one. How's your little science experiment going without him?
:'''Butcher''': Let's find out.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander is now at Butcher's mercy after losing his powers]''
:'''Butcher''': Shock and awe, my son. Blood and fuckin' bone.
:''[Homelander charges toward Butcher, who grabs Homelander's fist with his left hand and punches him three times with the other. Butcher grabs Homelander again and prepares to land another punch.]''
:'''Butcher''': This... is for Frenchie.
:''[Butcher punches Homelander in the face repeatedly, knocking him down to the floor and leaving him cowering in fear]''
:'''Homelander''': Stop! You owe me. All the times I could've killed you and I didn't, I let you live. I'll–I'll give you Vought. ''[Butcher picks up his crowbar]'' I'll give you Vought, alright? You can do whatever you want with it, okay? I'll–I'll... Becca. You want your wife back? I'll have a shape-shifter be her. ''[whimpers]'' Just tell me! I'll fucking suck your dіck! Please! I'll do anything! You want me to eat shit? I'll eat your fucking shit! I'll eat your fucking shit on live TV! ''[pause; Butcher knocks him down against the desk]'' Madelyn, you promised me. It's not real. ''[to Butcher]'' You can't fucking do this. ''You can't fucking do this! '''I am the Homelander!'''''
:'''Butcher''': No. Nah, you ain't nothing. And this... This is for my Becca.
:'''Homelander''': No, no...
:''[Butcher stabs Homelander in the head with the straight end of the crowbar. He lifts it up, breaking Homelander's skull open and spilling his brains all over the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie confronts Butcher at Vought Tower to stop him from releasing the Supe virus. Butcher is looking out the window when Hughie enters the main conference room.]''
:'''Butcher''': Traffic?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. Accident on the bridge. Should have taken the tunnel.
:'''Butcher''': ''[turns around]'' I thought you might try to stop me. But you shouldn't have come alone. You should've brought a fuckin' army.
:'''Hughie''': No. If you were gonna release the virus, you would've done it already.
:'''Butcher''': Unless... I'm waitin' for all the Supe cunts to clock in for the day shift. Not much point shootin' spunk into an empty fuckin' building, now is there?
:'''Hughie''': Okay, well, now I kinda wish I brought an army. Where's the virus, Butcher?
:'''Butcher''': I dumped it in the sprinkler tank. Frenchie's idea, God rest the mad bastard. ''[picks up remote controller]'' All I gotta do is pull this trigger, and it rains kill juice on all 99 floors. Shit will be worldwide within a couple of days.
:'''Hughie''': Why? I mean, we already won.
:'''Butcher''': Won? No, we just gave 'em a black eye. As long as there's Vought, there'll be Supes. And sooner or later, some cunt that's already out there becomes the next Homelander, and you fuckin' know it. No. We need to end the whole bloody notion of Supes, and we need to make it permanent. I mean, you can see it, right? This is it. This is the moment.
:'''Hughie''': You dragged me through fucking hell... for this. For now. To be your... canary. Or your Kessler. Or Lenny. But here's the thing: You don't need me for that. You never did. It's already in you. I can see it. You might have a broken fucking heart, but you have one. You are not a monster, Butcher. It just hurts to be human.
:'''Butcher''': I'm sorry, mate. Superheroes... are done.
:'''Hughie''': ''[pulls out gun]'' I can't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Petit Hughie and his gun. Takes some big bollocks to pull the trigger on a mate.
:'''Hughie''': ''[aims the gun at Butcher]'' I will if I have to.
:'''Butcher''': ''[chuckles]'' Nah. You ain't got the…
:''[Butcher takes the gun from Hughie, punches him and throws him across the room]''
:'''Butcher''': Stay down.
:''[Butcher sees Hughie staring at the remote and rushes to take it before Hughie does. Hughie quickly gets up and trades more blows with Butcher, spitting blood onto the floor after getting punched hard in the gut. Eventually, Butcher gains the upper hand and picks up the remote while Hughie lies helpless on the floor. Before he can pull the remote trigger, he has a hallucination of Lenny lying in Hughie's place. He gets shot in the abdomen by Hughie as he moves his finger away from the trigger. Realizing what he did, Hughie rushes to Butcher's side.]''
:'''Hughie''': I'm sorry. Um... I didn't wanna–I didn't wanna do that. Um... I'm–I'm gonna call an ambulance, okay?
:'''Butcher''': I wouldn't bother. It's all right, Hughie. I gave you no choice. I... I wasn't gonna stop. All the blood... and shite I put you through... and none of it made a blind bit of difference. You–You stayed yourself... no matter what I done. ''[coughs]''
:'''Hughie''': Hey.
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know what to do.
:'''Hughie''': You don't need to do anything.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat; Hughie holds his hand]'' You really are... the spittin' of Lenny.
:''[Butcher slowly loses his grip on Hughie as he dies]'' 
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': ''[last lines; to his and Annie's unborn daughter]'' Take care of your mom, Robin.

==External links==
{{The Boys}}
[[Category:The Boys (TV series) seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>29s5jw4zogxv87daatl9m77bixiuf91</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944042</id>
      <parentid>3943970</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T21:30:23Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* External links */</comment>
      <origin>3944042</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="92063" sha1="m8ri4bum2e5a0pdatxs5tykbk33fc7v" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Season''' [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 1|1]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 2|2]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 3|3]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 4|4]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 5|5]]  [[The Boys (TV series)|Main]]
----
'''''[[w:The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]''''' is an American superhero television series developed by Eric Kripke for [[w:Amazon Prime Video|Amazon Prime Video]]. Based on the comic book of the same name by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson, it follows the eponymous team of vigilantes as they combat superpowered individuals who abuse their abilities.

==''&quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;'' [5.01]==
:''[Homelander meets with Sister Sage after the Flight 37 video gets leaked to the public by Annie]''
:'''Sister Sage''': We knew this would happen sooner or later. We've been ready. In the last 24 hours, we have flooded the zone with so much disinformation, people can't tell their clit from their collarbone. The share price is only down half a point. Besides that, damage is minimal.
:'''Homelander''': ''[points at open book]'' What's this?
:'''Sister Sage''': That is a Gutenberg Bible. Martin Shkreli sold it to me at discount.
:'''Homelander''': You're really on top of the world, huh? Peter Thiel, the Obamas calling you for advice. Everyone loves you. 
:'''Sister Sage''': You can't really think I care.
:'''Homelander''': Maybe you didn't used to.
:'''Sister Sage''': It's all for you. The higher the share price, the happier the billionaires. The more you get to do whatever the fuck you wanna do.
:'''Homelander''': Are you aware that NNC is calling me a murderer? Saying that maybe I even did something to my son?
:'''Sister Sage''': No. Everyone knows that Ryan is... ''[sighs]'' Sorry. That he is at boarding school. In Svalbard. ''[chuckling]'' That story's holding. We're good.
:'''Homelander''': And how–how about you, Sage? Are you… good?
:'''Sister Sage''': I'm fine.
:'''Homelander''': You're not distracted at all? After Thomas Godolkin dumped you? You're not numbing the heartache by stabbing your brain?
:'''Sister Sage''': No.
:'''Homelander''': Then, just tell me. How did Starlight get in the building? ''[beat; exhales]'' I WAS '''HUMILIATED!''' As if people don't hate me enough!
:'''Sister Sage''': Your numbers are north of 96.
:'''Homelander''': Anyone can smile for the pollsters, sure, but millions of them are still Starlighters in their hearts! Where it counts! Have you seen the memes? Have you seen the ''memes'' about me?! ''[brief pause]'' Posting them should be a crime.
:'''Sister Sage''': Yes, but we can't go... ''[notices Homelander glaring at her]'' Oh, you're serious. Uh, sir... ''[chuckles]'' Ongoing conflict is useful to us. It keeps people afraid…
:'''Homelander''': Shut up.
:'''Sister Sage''': …which is exactly what we–
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no, no! NO! You promised me Caesar.
:'''Sister Sage''': He was stabbed by his best friends.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, well, I can relate to that! But I need people to be ''devoted!'' To '''''me!'''''
:'''Sister Sage''': May I speak freely?
:'''Homelander''': Give it a shot.
:'''Sister Sage''': I told you, no matter how much power you amass, it will not make you happy.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You know what's gonna make me happy? I think I'll be happy when Starlight and William Butcher are corpses. I want it leaked that in three days, we are going to execute Hugh Campbell, Milk, and the... French one. That'll draw out Starlight and Butcher, and then I will take care of this once and for all.
:'''Sister Sage''': Consider it done, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, wow. Your skin is so oily, like hugging a McRib.
:'''Annie''': Wait, did you—Did you just... How?!
:'''Kimiko''': Speech therapy and fucking therapy therapy and so much fucking TikTok.
:'''Annie''': Well, you sure sound like you're on TikTok.
:'''Butcher''': Sixteen-hour flight and not a fucking peep.
:'''Kimiko''': 'Cause all you can say is &quot;Oi, oi, oi. Cunt, cunt, cunt&quot;.
:'''Butcher''': I liked her better with her mouth shut.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Annie''': Took you long enough. Slowing down in your old age?
:'''A-Train''': ''[laughs and hugs Annie]'' Fuck you, [[w:Killing of JonBenét Ramsey|JonBenét]].
:'''Kimiko''': You guys are friends?
:'''A-Train''': You talk?
:'''Kimiko''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Annie''': Reggie's been helping us out for a while.
:'''A-Train''': ''[takes drink from Annie]'' Thanks. Where is everybody? ''[pause]'' I heard about the Pittsburgh raid last month. Go Marie Moreau. How's her team doing?
:'''Annie''': Yeah, they're scoring a few wins, but not nearly enough.
:'''A-Train''': So, what's with the 911?
:'''Annie''': Hughie, M.M. and Frenchie are gonna be executed tomorrow, so we need your help to break them out.
:'''A-Train''': Of a Vought prison camp? You're fucking crazy.
:'''Annie''': Listen, you don't have to fight, okay? We just need you to run them to the extraction point. It's easy.
:'''A-Train''': Easy. Right. You know Homelander's gonna be waiting. I can't.
:'''Annie''': We know how to kill him, okay? But we need Frenchie to do it.
:'''A-Train''': Great. Well, good luck with that.
:'''Annie''': Hey, are you gonna keep running forever? I mean, if we're gonna really take him out, we need your help.
:'''A-Train''': So what, I'm just supposed to join this little fucking supergroup?
:'''Annie''': I mean, we are down one asshоlе, so… Yeah, maybe.
:'''A-Train''': ''[pause]'' No.
:'''Annie''': Why not?
:'''A-Train''': I said I can't.
:'''Annie''': I know you're scared…
:'''A-Train''': No, I'm not fucking scared! I got a family to protect. ''[Annie sighs]'' I can't.
:'''Annie''': I get it, I do. Me, too. ''[pause]'' Keep them safe.
:''[Annie and Kimiko watch A-Train run off]''
:'''Kimiko''': We shouldn't have let him go.
:'''Annie''': No. Homelander fuckеd him up. Fuckеd me up, too. We're gonna need an Exit Plan B.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk go over their escape plan]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so we hit the east gate.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Oui'', Petit Hughie, when the guards change shift.
:'''Hughie''': And we go at dawn.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We've been through this.
:'''Hughie''': I know. I just wanna go over it a few more times just so I can get it in my head.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Hughie… ''[holds out moonshine jar]'' Take a fuckin' drink, will you?
:'''Hughie''': No, thanks.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shrugs; to Frenchie]'' ''Mon ami?''
:'''Frenchie''': You know I quit.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Leave it up to you to have your shit the tightest you've ever had it in a fuckin' internment camp.
:'''Frenchie''': Yeah, what about you? Have you been eating the fresh produce I smuggle in?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Moonshine's got corn in it. ''[takes a sip of moonshine]''
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Hughie]'' Hey… Don't worry. Annie will be fine. She's strong.
:'''Hughie''': ''[takes liquor bottle from Frenchie]'' Kimiko, too. 
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Y'all mοthеrfuckеrs are trippin'. Y'all don't know what the fuck's going on with them. ''[to Frenchie]'' Hey, you don't even know where Kimiko's at.
:'''Hughie''': What, so you don't think you're gonna see Janine and Monique again? Is that it?
:'''Mother's Milk''': What I know is that they're a shit ton safer without me making a mess out of their lives.
:'''Hughie''': M.M., you're the strongest guy I know. We've been in tougher spots than this.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, I did two tours in the 3/8 in Farah Province. The shit I saw would ''fuck you up''. And even that was ''Emily in Paris'' compared to the shit that we looking at here. And even if we make it outta here, we ain't surviving this fuckin' war. We are dead men walking. Chin-chin, mοthеrfuckеrs.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Hughie is shocked to see all of his prison bunkmates brutally murdered in their bunker. He sees Homelander sitting on his bed reading from his journal.]''
:'''Homelander''': &quot;Well, Annie, today marks two months. It's a little insane how much I miss you. I've been having trouble eating. Every day, I see people giving up, but not me. Because I have you.&quot; It's very, very sweet.
:'''Hughie''': They were innocent.
:'''Homelander''': Oh… ''[looks briefly at one of the corpses]'' Well, I'd hardly call them innocent. They lied to me. Played dumb about your little stash in the wall there. We've known about that for quite some time, but I just wanted to give you a little hope.
:'''Hughie''': You're not the one who gave it to me, asshоlе.
:'''Homelander''': Ooh, I like Internment Camp Hughie. She's zesty.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck you. Do it.
:'''Homelander''': What?
:'''Hughie''': Kill me.
:'''Homelander''': Not until we flush out Butcher and Starlight.
:'''Hughie''': You think they're dumb enough to just walk right into your trap?
:'''Homelander''': Let's not insult each other. We both know they're coming. ''[throws the journal at Hughie's feet]'' Do you remember when we first met?
:'''Hughie''': How could I forget? 
:'''Homelander''': Believe Festival. I tried to cleanse your soul. I remember thinking... ''[sighs]'' &quot;Why him?&quot; What does Starlight see in this gangly simp that reeks of fear and Strawberry Smoothie kids' shampoo? You know, William and Victoria Neuman love you, too. I mean, I get it from your perspective. You're punching up. Good for you. But why are they so hopelessly devoted to such staggering mediocrity? Why would Starlight and Butcher piss away their lives to try and rescue you?
:'''Hughie''': Because I'd do it for them.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher and Kimiko find Hughie, Frenchie and Mother's Milk tied up and gagged by Homelander when they break into the Vought internment camp]''
:'''Hughie''': Butcher?! Oh, fuck.
:'''Homelander''': ''[waves]'' Surprise. Welcome, William. ''[to Kimiko]'' And you. The gang is almost all here. Oh, and uh, ''[looks down at Mother's Milk]'' you never told me that this one's nickname is... Mother's Milk. ''[licks his lips; laughs]'' Okay. So, what's the big plan? What, are you gonna sandbag me with the Godolkin virus? ''[Butcher looks shocked]'' Yes. I know all about it.
:'''Kimiko''': Suck my fat dіck!
:''[Homelander lasers Kimiko in half. The top half of her body falls to the floor.]''
:'''Homelander''': Hey, where's Starlight? Just doesn't feel like a party without my little lightning bug here... ''[pause; stares at Butcher]'' Jesus Christ, William. You've got a viper's nest in there. I'd heard about it, of course. But seeing it for myself, it's uh… it–it's incredible. I mean, it's fucking disgusting of course, but it's–it's beautiful. What you've done to yourself, what you've become… and you did all that for me? ''[pause]'' Now that… ''that'' is devotion. You know, William, I know we're not exactly equals, but I'm compelled to say… you are the only one that's ever challenged me. And there's a part of me that will be sad to see you go.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[A-Train gets badly injured while being chased by Homelander, who eventually catches up to him]''
:'''Homelander''': Looks like someone ''can'' catch the A-Train after all. End of the road, buddy boy.
:''[A-Train starts laughing at Homelander as he gets back up]''
:'''Homelander''': What's so funny?
:'''A-Train''': What was I so afraid of? You are… fucking nothing.
:'''Homelander''': Really?
:''[Homelander lifts A-Train and pins him against a tree]''
:'''A-Train''': ''[grunts]'' Really. You're just an empty fucking suit. Take away these powers… and what are you, huh? A pathetic… weak… sniveling fucking loser.
:''[Homelander wraps his hand around A-Train's neck and slowly chokes him. A-Train continues laughing until Homelander snaps his neck, killing him instantly.]''

==''&quot;Teenage Kix&quot;'' [5.02]==
:'''Oh Father''': We fight hellfire with holy fire! We fight with the ballot box! We fight with the ammo box! Matthew 10:34 — &quot;I do not come to bring the peace, but a sword&quot;! You are not here to be blessed, you are here to do war!

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Goddammit, A-Train. It didn't need to come to this. I don't know, you left me no choice! I know that my leadership style can be stern, but it was for your own good! I like to think of myself as the big brother that you never had. You remember that girlfriend you had? Uh... Pop... Popfang. Betrayed us both, to William Butcher, no less. Huge mess, your fault. What did I do? ''What did I do?'' I gave you a chance to make things right, I reached out my hand... and you bit it! What did I ever do to deserve that? What, was I too nurturing? Too forgiving? Well, maybe. But dammit, you weren't like the others: Snakes, backstabbers. I could count on you, man. I ''did'' count on you. I loved you... but here we are. Why does this keep happening to me? I guess the strongest men are the most alone. You wouldn't understand. Nobody does.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander releases Soldier Boy from his cryogenic chamber at Vought Tower. Soldier Boy wakes up the next morning in Homelander's bedroom.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no, no. It's okay. It's okay, I don't wanna hurt you. You're safe, okay? You've been in deep freeze again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, Jesus Christ. For how long?
:'''Homelander''': Almost two years in a CIA black site. I just found out this morning.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You found out this morning?
:'''Homelander''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But that just happens to be in your room? ''[pause]'' Did you fuck me?
:'''Homelander''': ''[legitimately confused]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this some kind of incest thing?
:'''Homelander''': No!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Then, what the fuck is this?
:'''Homelander''': ''[stammers]'' Look, I... I want you to find William Butcher.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Find him yourself.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the people that work for me are limited. And you are the best tracker there is. I just–I need you to find him and report back. Very simple.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You want me… to work for you?
:'''Homelander''': Well, why don't we say &quot;work ''with'' me&quot;? And... I can help you. I can give you a proper comeback.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need you for that.
:'''Homelander''': Well, the whole world does think that you're a Russian spy, so…
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[takes a deep breath]'' Okay. Alright, listen to me. I'm no ass-felching Commie. You got that?!
:'''Homelander''': I know, I know. And listen, I am Vought now. Me. So, the public, they're gonna believe that you are whatever I tell them you are. I can resurrect you. I can give you back what you lost. I can even make you number two in The Seven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Number two? ''[Homelander nods]'' Or how about I finish the job, and blast you to Kingdom Fuck.
:'''Homelander''': Yeah, you could try. Who knows, you might even fry the V right out of my blood. Or you might not. But I'm betting that you hate William Butcher more than you hate... me. After all, I'm–I'm not the one that betrayed you, am I?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I tried to kill you. The minute I turn my back, how do I know you won't return the favor?
:'''Homelander''': Look... 
:''[Homelander picks up Soldier Boy's shield and gives it to him]''
:'''Homelander''': You find William Butcher for me… all is forgiven.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat; looks at the shield]'' Looks like a fuckin' kindergarten ashtray. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': Soldier Boy, ''[points at Calhoun and Ashley]'' this is the President, Vice President of the United States of America. They work for me. Everyone, Soldier Boy is gonna be number two in The Seven once he has located William Butcher and Annie January.
:'''The Deep''': What? Wait–Wait, what, sir? No, sir. I... I can do this. I can bring them in.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, like you did with A-Train? We're going in a new direction, Deep. Competence. ''[to Calhoun]'' Oh, and Steve, Soldier Boy's gonna need a full pardon.
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, he–he was guilty of... you know, treason. ''[pause; Homelander just stares at him]'' Consider it done, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific. And you know what? I'm sure the man's dying for a drink. Uh, Steve, can you make him a…
:'''Soldier Boy''': Manhattan.
:'''Homelander''': Manhattan. Thanks, Steve.
:'''Calhoun''': Of course. Can I get you a glass of milk, sir?
:'''Homelander''': ''[sternly]'' No. Steven… I'll also have a Manhattan.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goddamn. Since when could Supes teabag the President?
:'''Homelander''': Since me.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Hughie looking despondent on their way back to the Teenage Kix mansion]''
:'''Butcher''': Oi, fuckin' smile, Hughie. I mean, ain't you a little glad A-Train's dead?
:'''Hughie''': …No, I'm not glad he's dead. A-Train did a lot of horrible things, but he saved our lives, and he died a hero. A real hero. There are a lot of other Supes that don't deserve to die either.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, I know you just done a year in the gulag. You've earned your seat at the table, so... I'll give it to ya straight. You gotta knock this wet, gaping pussy shite on the head, mate. Ain't doin' no one no favours. Especially your girl. I mean, that's why she's givin' you the cold shoulder.
:'''Hughie''': Don't talk to me about Annie. You don't know what's going on with her.
:'''Butcher''': Well, I know that she finally knows the fuckin' score. And she knows that you poncin' about with this Jiminy Cricket, &quot;listen to your heart&quot; bollocks is just gonna get her killed.
:'''Hughie''': Is there any part of you left that's still human? ''[pause]'' You're gonna get Annie killed, not me… but I won't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Noted.
:''[A shield suddenly pierces the windshield of the Boys' truck. Hughie catches the virus vial right as they crash into another vehicle.]''
:'''Hughie''': Fuck!
:'''Kimiko''': Hughie, the vial!
:'''Hughie''': It's good. ''[stares at the shield]'' Wait, is that...?
:''[They see Soldier Boy walking up the street towards them]''
:'''Butcher''': Well, well, well.
:'''Kimiko''': He's dead, right? He's supposed to be dead?
:'''Butcher''': Supposed to be. Mallory put him in ice for a bit.
:'''Hughie''': ''[slowly turns to face Butcher]'' You're telling us this ''now?''
:'''Butcher''': Somebody up there likes us, mate.
:'''Hughie''': In what fucking way?!
:'''Butcher''': Well, we wanted a guinea pig. Who better than Homelander's old man? New plan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Butcher''': Oi. Ain't you supposed to be a giant ice dіldо?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Aren't you supposed to be smart? Renting a truck under the name &quot;Don T. Beakunt.&quot; Same alias when we headed to Herogasm.
:'''Butcher''': Well, oldie, but a goodie.
:''[Soldier Boy sees Hughie and Kimiko get out of the truck and run away]'' 
:'''Butcher''': No, mate. Just you and me.
:''[Soldier Boy shoots Butcher three times, but to no avail. Butcher, still standing, looks down at his chest then looks back up at Soldier Boy.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess it's true. You're one of us now.
:'''Butcher''': Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Then fuckin' beat 'em.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Being super is not gonna save you.
:'''Butcher''': That don't stop us helpin' each other. Homelander's double the cunt now, if that's even possible. He needs doin' more than ever. You still fancy his seat on The Seven, don't ya?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Fuck you! We had a deal! I held up my end of the bargain, and you sold me out. Put me back in a fucking box! And for what? 'Cause I was gonna kill some dumb kid?
:'''Butcher''': That kid is your grandson.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, was it worth it? You feeling good about that call right about now? Where is that fucking brat?
:'''Butcher''': Homelander's the one fuckin' you over, mate. Or did he mention that we've got an uber virus strong enough to kill every fuckin' Supe on the planet?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Bullshit.
:'''Butcher''': God's honest. The things this virus can do... ''Fuckin' diabolical.'' Why d'you think he sent you here instead of coming himself, hmm? You're the sacrificial cunt. Again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I guess we'll see.
:'''Butcher''': You don't get it, do ya? Me, Homelander, your old crew–Everyone fucks you over. Do you wanna know why? 'Cause you... are a dumb fuckin' twat.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hughie Campbell. How is a useless cock-gobbler like you still alive?
:'''Hughie''': All your jokes are about dudes blowing dudes. You're kind of obsessed!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Is this the virus he was going on about? The so-called &quot;Supe Killer&quot;? Well, not today, you semen-swilling butt pirate.
:'''Hughie''': What?

==''&quot;Every One of You Sons of Bitches&quot;'' [5.03]==
:''[Homelander has a psychotic breakdown and hallucinates Madelyn Stillwell appearing to him as an angel]''
:'''Homelander''': Madelyn...!
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, my boy! My sweet boy... What is wrong? Why are you unhappy?
:'''Homelander''': My father and my son! Everything, it's all falling apart!
:'''Madelyn''': No! No, it's exactly what needed to happen. Yes, it's been foretold! You're about to ascend. Become immortal. Divine. A true god with the love of the world.
:'''Homelander''': But–
:'''Madelyn''': I know, you think love is weak and human. But who is more loved than Jesus? And why should he have more love than you? You save more people than he does. The one, true god...
:'''Homelander''': Yes... But how? How? Millions of people just hate me...
:'''Madelyn''': Well, then you baptize the unfaithful in their own blood. Rip babies from their mothers' wombs.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': Skin parents in front of their children. Rid the world of the wicked.
:'''Homelander''': Yes...
:'''Madelyn''': The nonbelievers...
:'''Homelander''': They'll call me a monster...
:'''Madelyn''': Oh, the only ones left will be your faithful. And they will love you in their hearts. They'll cry happy tears at the mere thought of you. You have one last task, my love.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Homelander?
:'''Homelander''': Up here.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What do you– ''[sees Homelander taking a bath]'' What in the fuck? Is that milk?
:'''Homelander''': Better. Breastmilk from the NICU at Mount Sinai.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So, what? You asked me up here so I could watch you swim in tit jizz?
:'''Homelander''': I wanna give you another chance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You wanna give ''me'' another chance?
:'''Homelander''': Yes. Help me find that V1.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd rather fist myself with a handful of razors. Besides, Cleopatra Jones said there's no V1 to find.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, there most certainly is. And I am going to find it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah? What makes you so sure?
:'''Homelander''': ''[smiling]'' An angel told me. It's my destiny.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Just when I thought there was a ceiling to how fuckin' weird you could get.
:'''Homelander''': Yes, yes. Make your jokes. You've been blessed with immortality, and what have you done with it? Drink and fuck yourself numb. You... You are a disappointment. You see... ''[stands up and gets out of the tub]'' I am not gonna waste my immortality. I am gonna take what's rightfully mine. I'm asking you if you want a seat at the table because you're my father. But with or without you... a reckoning is coming.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' You know, all I see is a freak. A freak with a bushel of gray pubes. Try some Just for Men.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher takes Ryan to a pub to discuss his plan to kill Homelander with the Supe virus]''
:'''Butcher''': All you do is get him on the blower and tell him you wanna see him. When he rocks up, you chuck the shit in his face... and that'll be it.
:'''Ryan''': Why me?
:'''Butcher''': 'Cause he won't leave the fortress of cuntitude for anyone else.
:'''Ryan''': So this is what you wanted to talk to me about. Killing my dad.
:'''Butcher''': Listen, mate–
:'''Ryan''': Is that all you think I'm good for?
:'''Butcher''': I ain't gonna treat you like a kid no more, alright? You're done with that. Homelander raped your mum. He's gonna burn everything down, and you are the only one who can stop him. Now... Normally, I don't put no stock in any of that bollocks about destiny, but if anyone's got one, it's you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause; sighs]'' I throw this virus at him... what'll happen to me?
:'''Butcher''': You'll die. I'll be close by and we'll go together. Now... I ain't gonna lie to you. This… this is not what your mum wanted… But it's the only way. And it will be justice.
:'''Ryan''': You're asking me to kill myself?
:'''Butcher''': You wouldn't be the first lad to throw his life away in a war... but you would be the first to save the world doin' it. ''[beat; sighs heavily]'' I'll fetch us a pint.
:''[Later, Butcher returns with a pint of beer]''
:'''Butcher''': Here. Told her you were 30. ''[Ryan chuckles]'' Fuck the leather, fuck the lace, here's to the bird who sits on yer face. ''[takes a long sip of beer]''
:'''Ryan''': Where'd you pick that up?
:'''Butcher''': Me old man.
:'''Ryan''': You two close?
:'''Butcher''': Nah, not really. He was a... a piss artist. Used to lose all his money on the gee-gees–horses–and then, he'd come home, beat the livin' daylights outta Len and me. And then later, laugh about it with his mates. Yeah, he was a right cunt.
:'''Ryan''': Where is he now?
:'''Butcher''': Bottom of the Thames. I put him there, just the other day. Only wish I'd done it sooner, before he caused more... more damage.
:'''Ryan''': Butcher... Do you think that I could ever... That I might turn into my dad?
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know.
:'''Ryan''': ''[sighs]'' My mom... Aunt Grace... the others... All I do is hurt people. I can't be around anyone.
:'''Butcher''': Without us–without Supes–the world is a better, safer place.
:'''Ryan''': ''[beat]'' I'll do it.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Edgar ''': You're fighting an unbeatable foe. You know that, right?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Who? Vought?
:'''Edgar''': Please. It's more powerful than Vought. Or Homelander. More powerful than nature or life itself. It's profit and loss; supply and demand; the elegant flow of currency across the globe. We're just cogs in a great machine, and we all have our part to play. Say you kill Soldier Boy, or Homelander, or even release this virus. When superheroes go out of fashion, something else will just take their place. Because corporations must still grow. Money must still be made. The machine must still be fed. That is the way of the world.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Motherfucker. When this is all over... you're aiming to run Vought again, ain't you?
:'''Edgar''': Like I said. We all have our part to play.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[pause]'' If that day ever comes... I have a part to play, too. And that's to put a bullet in your fuckin' skull.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy and Firecracker are on her TruthBomb talkshow set preparing for their interview together]''
:'''Firecracker''': It's an honor to have a great American like yourself on the show. I guess it runs in the family, huh? Homelander's father… Dang.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks at the gun at Firecracker's hip]'' Glock, huh? Never saw the appeal in foreign-made guns.
:'''Firecracker''': Well, this ain't your granddaddy's Glock. This here's a 9mm Gen 5, seven-round capacity with a crisp fuckin' break.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, mine's a much longer barrel. ''[takes out his pistol]'' Battle-proven, all-American Colt 1911 chambered in .45 ACP. ''[cocks pistol]'' That'll blow your fuckin' panties off. Now, that little Glock–That's good for a late-night Harlem stroll, but uh, this here? That's a certified Kraut killer.
:'''Firecracker''': I think you mean an antique.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean a classic. You wanna give it a try? ''[Firecracker examines the pistol]'' Now, some can't handle the kick, but something tells me you'll do just fine.
:''[Cut to Soldier Boy and Firecracker in bed together after having sex]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Whew. Well, I gotta hand it to you. I haven't fuckеd that hard since... since I railed Shari Lewis on the balcony of Studio 54.
:'''Firecracker''': I ain't got no idea who that is.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well... Hey, why the hairless pussy?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[gives Soldier Boy a disgusted look]'' What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I mean, what's the point of going down there if you're not gonna get a fat face full of fur? Is that how Homelander likes you? Like a baby?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' More like a mother.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But you two have fuckеd, right?
:'''Firecracker''': ''[shakes her head]'' Mm-mm.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Damn. I gotta admit, I was kinda just doing this as petty revenge against the freak.
:'''Firecracker''': That's terrible. Who would do such a thing? And you shouldn't say that about your son.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Ah, he thinks he's better than me.
:'''Firecracker''': He doesn't.
:'''Soldier Boy''': How do you know?
:'''Firecracker''': I don't know much, but I can read people. And the way he looks at you? Shoot. I ain't never seen him look at nobody like that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Uh, that's not exactly a compliment, doll. He is the strangest mοthеrfuckеr I've ever known, and I've had a threesome with Gary Busey.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Ryan and Homelander meet up at the now-abandoned VoughtLand building]''
:'''Ryan''': Do you remember when you took me here? Pretended to care about me?
:'''Homelander''': I ''do'' care about you, son. I love you.
:'''Ryan''': ''[pause]'' I need to ask you–
:'''Homelander''': For my forgiveness? You already have it.
:'''Ryan''': What?
:'''Homelander''': Okay, let me finish. I put too much pressure on you to fill my boots. And–And I realize now that, uh... Well, that–that was impossible. But I do have some pretty exciting news. I am going to live forever now. I'll realize my own legacy. And you... ''[scoffs]'' you're off the hook. You can do whatever–
:'''Ryan''': Did you do it? Did you rapе my mom?
:'''Homelander''': What?! Of course not. Who told you–Did William Butcher tell you that? Your mother and I, we had an affair. A consensual affair between two adults.
:'''Ryan''': Your heart's racing.
:'''Homelander''': Well, yeah, because I'm shocked. And–And frankly, my heart's breaking a little bit that you could think I would do something like that.
:''[Ryan lasers Homelander, leaving a visible wound near his chest]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan... Ryan, stop!
:''[Ryan lunges at Homelander and shoves him against the wall. Homelander ducks below Ryan's fist to avoid getting punched by him.]''
:'''Homelander''': Ryan! I don't know where this is coming from, because your mother… ''She'' came on to ''me.''
:''[Ryan punches Homelander twice and tries to laser him again. Homelander quickly dodges him again.]''
:'''Homelander''': ''Ryan!'' Son... ''[moves away to avoid another punch]'' Ryan! Ryan, buddy... Look what came out of it: My son! A blessing! ''[Ryan attacks him again]'' Hey, hey! Stop!
:''[Ryan readies another laser, which gets redirected when Homelander grabs his face. He punches Homelander in the face again, but Homelander gets the upper hand and slams Ryan several times into a box. Homelander wipes blood away from his nose as Ryan whimpers in pain.]''
:'''Homelander''': Oh, Ryan... Dammit. Look at what you made me do. ''[pause; kneels down to restrain Ryan]'' Shh... Shh, shh, shh. Hey... It's okay. My sweet, sweet boy.
:''[Homelander proceeds to punch Ryan repeatedly in the face until he is beaten nearly to death]''

==''&quot;King of Hell&quot;'' [5.04]==
:'''Homelander''': I need you for something.
:'''Firecracker''': You do?
:'''Homelander''': I have received the most wonderful message. I was visited... by an angel. And she foretold my destiny.
:'''Firecracker''': Wow. Well, praise be. And what is it?
:'''Homelander''': God.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, that is wonderful. There is no higher calling than servin' the Lord.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. Not serving the Lord. Being the Lord. I am the Messiah. I'm the savior of the world.
:'''Firecracker''': The... Messiah?
:'''Homelander''': Yes.
:''[Firecracker smiles despite her being clearly disturbed by Homelander's delusions]''
:'''Firecracker''': Um... Congrats.
:'''Homelander''': Thank you. ''[pause; Firecracker giggles nervously]'' I always knew I was special. I knew it. I suffered. I suffered so many hardships, and I... I couldn't understand why, but you... You... You always saw it, didn't you? You knew all along I was special. That is why I have chosen you to spread the word of my coming.
:'''Firecracker''': How?
:'''Homelander''': Well, we control the most powerful media apparatus on Earth. Jesus would kill for our marketing. What do you say?
:'''Firecracker''': ...Well, you know I would do anything for you, sir.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys are hiking through the woods near Fort Harmony]''
:'''Kimiko''': It's weird. No birds or animals. It's like…
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. ''[to Mother's Milk]'' Had to park on the other side of the state, didn't ya?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Well, if the hike's too hard, why don't you try tying your boots, mοthеrfuckеr.
:''[Hughie is shocked to see a heavily decomposed corpse]''
:'''Hughie''': Oh, fuck that.
:'''Butcher''': Eh. Not really my type, son.
:'''Hughie''': Hey, how about showing a little respect?
:'''Mother's Milk''': You know, Hughie's right, Butcher. You should take her out to dinner first. ''[chuckles; sighs]'' Let's see here. Based on the decomp, these bodies have been here for a while.
:'''Frenchie''': Something ripped them apart. Whatever killed those Boy Scouts might still stalk these woods.
:'''Butcher''': Let's get a move on, then. Didn't come out here to get bummed by Bigfoot.
:''[...]''
:'''Butcher''': Any sign of Super Cunt?
:'''Mother's Milk''': Could already be inside.
:'''Butcher''': Well, let's find out.
:'''Kimiko''': ''[to Hughie]'' What's wrong?
:'''Hughie''': Annie.
:'''Kimiko''': She'll come back.
:'''Hughie''': No. I almost died, but she made it all about her and she took off. I mean, last year, I got bad-touched by a shape-shifter, and she still found a way to make it about her. She can be such a fucking bitch. ''[pause; sees Kimiko looking at him in shock]'' Uh... Jesus. Sorry, I–I didn't mean for that to come out so harsh.
:''[The Boys see an entire field littered with animal carcasses]''
:'''Butcher''': ''Fuckin' hell.''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck happened here?
:'''Frenchie''': Our V'd-up beast enjoyed an amuse-bouche, perhaps?
:'''Butcher''': Well, explains why we didn't hear no animals.
:'''Kimiko''': I said that ten minutes ago.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Boys discover more decomposed corpses as they make their way downstairs to the lab inside Fort Harmony]''
:'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell. They've been here a minute, haven't they?
:'''Frenchie''': Decades. Hunters... ''[pause; notices the knives embedded in the corpses]'' Look at their knives. These men, they killed each other. What if there is a monster here, but it's us?
:'''Butcher''': What the fuck are you on about, Frenchie?
:'''Frenchie''': [[w:Toxoplasma gondii|Toxoplasmosis]]. It's a parasite in cat shit. It can infect humans. Makes them react with explosive anger.
:'''Hughie''': You think we ate cat shit?
:'''Frenchie''': Ate? No... If the V1 spilled into the groundwater, it could mutate the plants. Their spores fill us with rage, we murder each other, and ''voilà''. We're plant food for these vines.
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so like [[w:The Last of Us (video game)|''The Last of Us'']]?
:'''Frenchie''': No, that is just [[w:The Walking Dead (comic book)|''The Walking Dead'']] with mushrooms. The dead campers, the animals, these hunters... Surely, you all see how strangely you've been acting.
:'''Kimiko''': Us? I've seen you blow cоcaіnе up your dіckhole.
:'''Frenchie''': Wait... You have a point. The copious amount of drug I've taken for decades has surely altered my brain chemistry. That's why I'm not affected. 
:'''Kimiko''': Guess being a junkie was good for something after all.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[laughs]'' Romeo and fuckin' Juliet. You two survive this war, I give you six months tops.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy search the ground floor of Fort Harmony while the Boys are in the basement below looking for the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sniffs]'' Smells like deer piss. The last time I was here, I was fresh off the front lines, still picking Nazi brains out of my hair. And only the best of the best got selected for Dr. Vought's trials.
:'''Homelander''': Hmmph.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Not soft little hog-chompers.
:'''Homelander''': Of course. No, I forgot how tough you were.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Hey, I'm not the weirdo who doesn't fuck. I mean, your cock's as useless as your cape. What's the point of being famous if you're not getting your dіck wet?
:'''Homelander''': Oh, my dіck was sopping wet when I pulled it out of Stormfront and wiped it on her fucking chin!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; looks down at the decomposed corpses]'' Ooh, look. More uggos. 
:'''Homelander''': Friends of yours?
:''[They unknowingly set off the motion detector that the Boys set up near the stairs]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': Oh, shit. They're right above us.
:'''Butcher''': We best get the fuck outta here. Come on.
:'''Hughie''': Hey. Hey, what about the V1?
:'''Mother's Milk''': If Bombsight has the V1, then it saves us from having to torch it.
:'''Hughie''': What are you talking about? Who's &quot;us&quot;?
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' What? You think the world needs more immortal cunts, do ya?
:'''Hughie''': We need it to save Annie and Kimiko! You've been planning this this whole time, haven't you?!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh. Homelander will hear us.
:'''Hughie''': ''[to Mother's Milk]'' And you, you've just been going along with it again.
:'''Mother's Milk''': We can't take the risk, Hughie. And if she has to be collateral damage so that Homelander dies and my daughter lives, we ain't got no fucking choice!
:'''Kimiko''': Oh, easy for you to say. It won't fucking kill you!
:'''Butcher''': Well, at least he knows when to keep his gob shut and do as he's fuckin' told!
:'''Frenchie''': Shh!
:'''Mother's Milk''': Excuse me?
:'''Frenchie''': No, no, no. We don't have time for this. We need to find a way out now.
:'''Mother's Milk''': Wanna know a little secret, Butcher? I ''cheered'' when I found out that you were dying, 'cause at least we'd finally be done with your miserable ass.
:'''Hughie''': You know, I used to say to these guys, &quot;Don't give up on Butcher. There's good in him fighting to get out.&quot; I was wrong. If there was ''anything'' human in there, it's dead. Underneath that chestful of octo-cocks, you are just a fucking monster.
:'''Butcher''': Well, maybe I like it better that way.
:'''Hughie''': That parasite's not just in you. It ''is'' you. ''You're'' the cancer!
:'''Frenchie''': ''Lower your voices.''
:'''Hughie''': You are just as bad as Homelander, maybe worse. And I'm not gonna let you drag us all down with you.
:'''Butcher''': And whatcha gonna do about it?
:'''Hughie''': I'll fucking kill you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Homelander''': ''[chuckles]'' Tough guy, my ass.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What?
:'''Homelander''': You, your whole bit. This whole &quot;guts and glory&quot; thing. What a fucking joke. I read your classified file. Your brother won a Silver Star for bravery at [[w:Battle of Anzio|Anzio]], and that's what made you beg your father to buy you a spot in Dr. Vought's trials. Because it killed you to see your brother dripping in all that glory, making you look all the more feeble in comparison.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't know shit about me.
:'''Homelander''': Really? I know that when they tried to inject you with the V, you were so fucking petrified that they had to strap you to the table. And you pissed yourself, crying for your mommy like the whiny, spoiled little rich boy that you are. They gave you the world, and you? You deserve ''nothing.''
:''[Soldier Boy stands by as Homelander walks into a small chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Oh, Christ. What's this shithole now?
:''[Soldier Boy shuts the door while Homelander isn't looking and turns the wheel to lock him inside the chamber]''
:'''Homelander''': What are you doing?!
:''[Soldier Boy bends the wheel with his bare hands and tears it off the door]''
:'''Homelander''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, well done. I'll be out of here in 30 seconds!
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. Maybe not.
:''[Soldier Boy pulls down a lever to open a radioactive valve. Homelander's face immediately starts blistering from the radiation.]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': It's enriched uranium. They'd stick us Supes in there to see if we could survive an atomic bomb. Now, for a normal joe, they'd be dead in minutes. But for you, it's a stomach flu. Good luck, though, getting out of a Supe-proof cell while you're bleeding out of your ass.
:''[Homelander fails to kill Soldier Boy by lasering him. He punches the glass as Soldier Boy walks off.]''
:'''Homelander''': Where are you going?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'm gonna go destroy any V1 that I find, you Triple Crown cock jockey.
:'''Homelander''': Why?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You don't get it, do you? How much I can't fucking stand you.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher sees Homelander trapped inside the uranium chamber]''
:'''Butcher''': ''[laughs]'' Oh, if only the world could see you now. Not so fuckin' super, are ya? You, uh... ''[points at Homelander's face]'' You got a bit of... ''[pause; Homelander coughs]'' Did your dad put you in timeout? Ooh… That's gotta sting, knowin' he'd rather spend eternity all alone than with the likes of you. What's the matter? Cunt got your tongue? Will wonders ever cease? ''[chuckles; lights cigarette]'' Tell me something. If you do get the juice in you, you think that makes you a god, don't ya? Seems like I know you pretty well after all. Which is why I know that even if you had a billion twats garglin' your bollocks and singin' &quot;Hosanna&quot;, you still wouldn't be happy. 'Cause deep down, you're just a weak, thin-skinned, needy little boy. You beat the shit outta your own son. Don't get weaker than that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs weakly while groaning in pain]'' Ryan is alive… because he's strong. 'Cause he's my son. The son of God.
:'''Butcher''': You ain't no god. How's about I go fetch the virus, and then we'll watch you shit your fuckin' spine out?
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You don't have it, do you? The virus.
:'''Butcher''': …Don't I?
:'''Homelander''': No, you don't. You would have used it by now. ''[coughs; laughs hysterically]'' You have no way to stop me, do you? Oh, William. You have no idea what you're up against. You can't intervene. I ''will'' get the V1, and when I do, I'm gonna flay you alive. You, Starlight–All the nonbelievers. You're all gonna ''fuckin' drown'' in your own blood.
:'''Butcher''': I promise you, before I die... I'll fuckin' have you. ''[walks away]''
:'''Homelander''': YOU'RE ALL FUCKING PASTE! I can take what's mine, and that makes this WHOLE FUCKING SHITBALL ''MY BIRTHRIGHT! '''MY DESTINY!'''''

==''&quot;One-Shots&quot;'' [5.05]==
:'''Firecracker''': Next up is a $500 million ad blitz with OOH, e-blasts, print and digital. Ain’t nobody won’t know about the Democratic Church of America… and its chosen prophet.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Prophets are servants.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course, sir. Great point. We’re just trying to ease people into it.
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no. We need to prepare America for my ascension. We must be honest. We must be direct. I like “savior.” Or–Or…
:'''Oh Father''': Lord. Yes, I couldn’t agree more, sir. Religion is not about being meek. We should dominate the seven mountains of society, bring the Kingdom of Heaven to Earth! Amen!
:'''Homelander''': Amen.
:'''Firecracker''': Amen! I love all that!
:'''The Deep''': So fucking dope.
:'''Oh Father''': Easter is just around the corner. How perfect would it be for your second coming to come on the day of Jesus' resurrection?
:'''Homelander''': Mmm… Second coming? Let's be clear: I am not the son of God.
:'''Oh Father''': Well, of course. Many people believe that Jesus is both God incarnate and the son.
:'''Homelander''': Well, that's just confusing. I don't want my church getting involved in all... that.
:'''Firecracker''': Exactly. Besides, if we pull up our timeline, you won't have… ''[picks up a bag with a large book inside]'' this.
:''[Firecracker kneels in front of Homelander, who accepts the book. He takes it out of the bag and sees &quot;The Homelander Bible&quot; with himself embossed on the cover.]''
:'''Oh Father''': We're gonna drag our feet because of a book?
:'''Firecracker''': Not a book. ''The'' book. The Homelander Bible.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause; lifts the book with his hands]'' Heavy.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[quietly]'' What the fuck?
:'''Firecracker''': It's got the Old Testament, the New Testament, and the brand new American Testament, written by A.I. trained on the works of Pat Robertson. See, we need to pass the torch, sir. From Jesus to you. Sir, we don't get more than one chance at a first impression. Are we really gonna rush something this important? We ain't [w:Arby's|Arby's]], after all.
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Firecracker''': We're the [[w:The Cheesecake Factory|Cheesecake Factory]].
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs deeply]'' Okay. We'll do it your way.
:'''Firecracker''': Thank you.
:'''Sister Sage''': You do realize this kind of sudden religious upheaval is likely to generate widespread civil unrest?
:'''Firecracker''': Local law should be able to handle the suburbs, but we could use extra hands in major metros.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, let's recall all Supes stationed overseas. American heroes should be protecting America, not Who-Gives-A-Fuckistan.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Firecracker''': We ain't doin' that again.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[chuckles]'' That's what you said the last six times.
:'''Firecracker''': No, I really mean it this time.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You seem a little out of it. Did you nut? 'Cause usually, you nut.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[sighs]'' Were you baptized?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Yeah, in front of half of Chestnut Hill. Governor Sproul did the honors. My family kept up appearances, of course. Then, we never set foot in church again.
:'''Firecracker''': I had lunch today with the reverend who baptized me. He's been gettin' heat to switch over to our church. You think Homelander might be open to going easy on him? Just... give him a little more time? I wouldn't ask if it was just anybody, but that man practically raised me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So you didn't nut. You know, this whole Homelander as God shit, it's... it's fucking ridiculous.
:'''Firecracker''': Really? You think so?
:'''Soldier Boy''': If he's the second coming, then what does that make me? Joseph? I mean, talk about the biggest cuck in history. Man trades his best cow to bag some hot-ass virgin, and then God comes and squirts his baby gravy up her meat wallet. Fuck that.
:'''Firecracker''': I guess I've been struggling with where to place Homelander in my heart in relation to Jesus and the Lord.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay.
:'''Firecracker''': Of course I worship Homelander. I mean, he's always been a god to me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Look, I'll tell you this. If there is a God... sure as hell didn't come out of my balls. I gotta go.
:'''Firecracker''': Where you off to?
:'''Soldier Boy''': L.A… ''[snickers]'' I fucking hate L.A.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker is filming her new episode of TruthBomb and starts reading her opening monologue from a teleprompter]''
:'''Firecracker''': Welcome to ''Truthbomb''. Our top story tonight's a personal one. It's the story of my hometown church, Holy Baptist of Daytona. It was the church I grew up in. Sang my hymns from the pews there every Sunday. But that church... That church…
:''[The teleprompter stops scrolling]''
:'''Firecracker''': ''[beat]'' That church... has become a hotbed of Starlighter infestation. And my old pastor, Reverend Greg Dupree, has been infected by Starlight's seditious propaganda. Now... I never told a soul this, but when I was a little girl, the reverend regularly had me over for supper. Alone. ''[pause; chuckles]'' No. Nothing ever happened to me, but... ''[sighs]'' I heard stories about his &quot;Fish Fry Fridays.&quot; And if that ain't code for child groomin', I don't know what is. How much longer are we gonna let these institutional pedo churches diddle our babies? Americans deserve better. They deserve... Homelander. They deserve the Democratic Church of America. ''[starts crying]''

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Would you like some knee pads?
:'''The Deep''': Sorry, what?
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're looking at me like you wanna suck my hog. So I'm asking you if you would like some knee pads.
:'''Homelander''': Go easy on the little guy. He brought me Stan Edgar.
:'''The Deep''': Thank you, sir.
:'''Homelander''': You may leave.
:''[Soldier Boy stays behind with Homelander in the conference room as the rest of The Seven leave]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': What crawled up your shithole?
:'''Homelander''': No idea what you mean.
:'''Soldier Boy''': When you're pissy, you tend to make everybody else's lives pissy too. Stan Edgar still stonewalling you?
:'''Homelander''': I've talked to him three times now. Says he has no idea where the V1 is. Heart rate steady as a rock. I'm starting to believe him.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That slippery fuck used to fetch my cоcaіnе. ''[pause]'' You know what? I have an idea. Why don't I take a crack at him? ''[Homelander stares at him]'' What, you don't trust me?
:'''Homelander''': Well, you did lock me in a room with nuclear material and tried to stop me getting the V1, so I'm sure you can understand my hesitance.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You could've killed me at Fort Harmony, but you didn't. Maybe I feel like I owe you.
:'''Homelander''': Or maybe you're lying.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Maybe. ''[inhales deeply]'' Give me an hour. I'll meet you at Edgar's cell.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Hughie''': If you and M.M. still think–
:'''Butcher''': Oh, for fuck's sakes, Hughie. Knock it off with this V1 shite! You're doin' me fuckin' head in! ''[sees his dog Terror eating out of the trash]'' Oi, Terror. Cut it out. Come on. ''[to Hughie]'' Now, listen. If we do find that stuff, we're not makin' any fuckin' vaccines out of it, alright? We're not the department of fuckin' health. We burn that shit before Homelander gets his paws on it, and that's that.
:'''Hughie''': Well, if you wanna kill yourself, knock yourself out, but why do you have to decide for the rest of us?
:'''Butcher''': Oh, 'cause I'm fuckin' right! 'Cause I've always been right! I've been tellin' you lot from the fuckin' start the sky is fallin', and guess what? The sky fuckin' fell.
:'''Hughie''': Well, you kinda helped bring it down.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, don't give me that bollocks. Listen, Homelander thinks he's a fuckin' god. Once he becomes immortal, he's gonna start killin' like one, and we are talkin' millions of people. Now, are you tellin' me you're honestly happy to risk all of that for a life on the run with your girl, knowin' that you could've stopped it? You can live with that, can ya?
:'''Hughie''': What if it was Becca? You'd just let her die?
:'''Butcher''': …I ''did'' let her die.
:'''Hughie''': Look… I know that Homelander comes first. I really do. All I'm asking is that we try. Annie and Kimiko deserve that much.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Mister Marathon and Malchemical try to convince Soldier Boy to kill Homelander while he is unconscious]''
:'''Mister Marathon''': Hey, man, we don't have a problem with you. Honest, ''[stutters]'' but–but fuck this fucking guy. You know, he fuckеd my life. Look, if you help us get rid of him, then we all win, and you–you can have The Seven. And I don't even, like, really care if you bring me back or whatever.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't need to kill him to get The Seven.
:'''Mister Marathon''': No. Yeah, of course not, but what about all that creepy shit he's doing with that church? I mean, they're rounding up everybody cool. All the hοοkers, the drug dealers.
:'''Malchemical''': They wanna ban pοrn. I mean, they wanna ban fucking abortions!
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Okay, well, banning abortion would be a big problem for me personally.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Exactly, for all of us. So, if we kill him, we can stop worrying about being cops or gods or asexual weirdos. You know, we can go back to fucking and–and being fucking awesome!
:'''Malchemical''': Look, we know you've got that fucked-up chest blast thing. I mean, I was at Herogasm. I saw it.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Just finish him now. Take away his powers, so we can curb stomp him while we have the chance. 
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[beat]'' He is a fucking asexual weirdo.
:'''Mister Marathon''': Yeah.
:'''Malchemical''': Yeah.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But as much as it pains me to say this, he's ''my'' fucking asexual weirdo. Nobody fucks my son but me.
:'''Mister Marathon''': What?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …That came out wrong.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Firecracker sees Homelander sitting on the couch in the Seven common room]''
:'''Firecracker''': Homelander… How was L.A.? Did you catch tonight's ''Truthbomb?''
:'''Homelander''': I did indeed. And it was a real barn-burner. Well done.
:'''Firecracker''': ''[smiles]'' Thank you, sir. That means the world.
:'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' How's sеx with my father? ''[Firecracker's smile disappears]'' Is he good at it? Are you thinking about me when you're making love to him?
:'''Firecracker''': I never meant to cross a line or offend you in...
:'''Homelander''': Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Don't fret, little one. I don't care about the sеx, really. But I ''do'' care about your little chats after sеx.
:'''Firecracker''': Sir, whatever Soldier Boy told you, I can assure you that I...
:'''Homelander''': You mean your inner turmoil when it comes to me and, uh, Jesus? Are you thinking of Jesus when you're praising me?
:'''Firecracker''': No, you are my one and only savior.
:'''Homelander''': You say that, but your jagged little heart is whirring like a hummingbird. ''[sighs; gets up from the couch]'' You're supposed to worship me, love me and me alone.
:'''Firecracker''': I do.
:'''Homelander''': I believed in you. Turns out, you don't believe in me. ''[pause]'' I need you to collect your things and leave.
:'''Firecracker''': But I ''do'' believe in you. I love you! I am the only one here who ever has! I gave you ''everything!'' I gave you my soul! Everybody else here, they're just... They're just scared of you. Or they want something from you, but I have always loved you for you. Just the strongest, smartest, best man on Earth.
:'''Homelander''': ''[scoffs]'' Man?
:'''Firecracker''': No, no, no, no, no. A god. No. No, ''the'' God. My Lord, that look you used to get when you'd suckle me? I felt like Mother Mary herself. I felt blessed to nourish someone as important as you. ''[pause; Homelander sighs]'' But nothing I ever did was good enough, was it? You cast me out into the cold, which was so much worse than never feeling your warmth in the first place. So all I have been tryin' to do is to get you to see me the way that you used to. Hell, only reason I was with Soldier Boy was that your reflected light is better than no light at all. Please, sir. I love you. We all need love, don't we? Even God.
:''[Homelander reaches his hand out to touch Firecracker's cheek, then kills her by impaling her head on the left wing of an eagle statue]''

==''&quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;'' [5.06]==
:''[Hughie and Annie are laying down on the hood of his car looking at clouds together]''
:'''Hughie''': Okay, so that one?
:'''Annie''': Mm-hmm.
:'''Hughie''': It’s like a rabbit, but it’s got way too many feet.
:'''Annie''': Really? I see a frog eating a dick. This is definitely in my top five.
:'''Hughie''': Top five what?
:'''Annie''': Things to do with you.
:'''Hughie''':  You’re saying that like… this is the last time we’re gonna get to do this. Hey, listen to me. The guys are gonna find Bombsight, they’ll get the V1. You’re not dying. We will have plenty of time to look for filthy shapes in the clouds.
:'''Annie''': God, I don’t know where it comes from. This… unshakeable hope.
:'''Hughie''': Whenever I’d get upset as a kid, which was a lot… my dad would always say, “You know, son, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react.” And that was infuriating. But then, I spent a year in an internment camp, and I had no control over anything. I’d just lay there at night, just… so fucking angry, hearing my dad’s voice in my head… but then I finally understood what he meant. ‘Cause the only thing I had left was… hope. And it is ''really'' fucking hard to hang on to, but I… I’m trying.
:'''Annie''': I think… you might be low-key the strongest person I know.
:'''Hughie''': I’d prefer high-key… ''[Annie chuckles]'' but thank you.
:'''Annie''': ''[beat; points at the sky]'' Look, it’s–it’s Big Bird eating a dick.
:'''Hughie''': You see an unsettling amount of dicks up there, I’m just saying.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander and Soldier Boy look around Bombsight's empty house to find the V1]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': You sure this is the right address?
:'''Homelander''': I'm sure.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Well, there's no sign of Bombsight... or fucking anyone. Maybe Crime Analytics got a bad tip.
:''[Homelander sees a laptop on the table. When he opens it up, a video of him and Stormfront having sex starts playing. He notices Soldier Boy watching along with him and closes the laptop.]'' 
:'''Soldier Boy''': What the fuck was that?
:'''Homelander''': I can explain.
:'''Soldier Boy''': That was Clara. You told me she killed herself.
:'''Homelander''': She did, after Ryan did ''that'' to her. It's his fault.
:'''Soldier Boy''': So then what? You locked her in your apartment like some kind of amputee fuck doll...
:'''Homelander''': No.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ...and filmed her for kicks?
:'''Homelander''': No, no, no! It wasn't like that! I did... I did everything I could to keep her alive, to–to make her happy. ''[pause; Soldier Boy punches him]'' Just listen to me, okay?! It wasn't all like... that. I couldn't let her go. I didn't know how... because I loved her. And so did you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': You're goddamn right I loved her.
:'''Homelander''': She wouldn't want us fighting over her.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Don't fucking tell me what she would want! You knew her for five minutes; I was with her for decades! 
:'''Homelander''': Hold–Hold on. This–This is a setup. Someone's trying to separate us. This has been plan... Fucking Sage. It's Sage. You see? She's trying to screw with us. ''[Soldier Boy turns around to leave]'' Oh, come on! I can't find the V1 without you!
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; turns back around]'' Good. You don't deserve to live forever.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Butcher tries to call Bombsight using one of his old phone numbers, but gets a fax machine instead]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': That a fuckin’ fax machine?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, it’s the last of the numbers she had for him. ''[to Golden Geisha]'' Oi. Twenty-three fuckin' numbers you had for Bombsight, and they’re all fuckin' shite?
:'''Golden Geisha''': Do you know how to delete them? I was telling you the truth. I have no idea where Bombsight is, or how to reach him. So just let me go.
:'''Butcher''': Kimiko, keep an eye on her.
:''[Frenchie joins Butcher and M.M. on their way back to their hideout]''
:'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck do we do now?
:'''Butcher''': Fetch us some pliers and put the screws to her. She knows more than she’s lettin’ on.
:'''Frenchie''': Or she doesn’t. I’m sorry, but she’s not that good of an actress.
:''[M.M. and Frenchie draw their weapons when they see Sister Sage inside]''
:'''Sister Sage''': He’s right. ''[sarcastically]'' Ooh, I know. The villain switching sides in the final hour. What a twist, a shock that never happens. But unclench those assholes, fellas. I’m here to help. I’m a free agent now. I came alone. You can shoot me in the heart whenever you like.
:'''Butcher''': That’s a good idea. ''[takes out and cocks his gun]''
:'''Sister Sage''': That would go against our mutual interest.
:'''Butcher''': Which is?
:'''Sister Sage''': Stopping a petulant, laser-eyed narcissist from also becoming immortal. I want him dead as much as you do.
:'''Mother's Milk''': You spent the last couple of years building Homelander up, and now you wanna tear him down? Why the fuck should we trust you?
:'''Sister Sage''': You can’t trust me. Honestly, you shouldn’t, but you will.
:'''Frenchie''': And why would we do that?
:'''Sister Sage''': I know Campbell and Starlight are headed to plant your little virus. You can trace anyone, if you know what to look for. And you baboons, you leave a trail of banana peels wherever you go. I could have stopped you, I could have killed you... but I didn’t.
:'''Butcher''': That virus is gonna wipe out the fuckin’ lot of ya. And you don’t strike me as the suicide type.
:'''Sister Sage''': I will be in my nice, quiet bunker, reading [[w:Ludwig Wittgenstein|Wittgenstein]] in peace. That is, unless that bleached blonde baby gets his hands on V1 and survives. You must have realized by now Granny out there has no clue how to contact Bombsight, but I do. And I can get him here. So... let me help.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Kimiko''': I wanted to say... I'm very sorry about this. I watched every episode of ''Undercover Geisha'' when I was a kid. I loved it, even the parts that were ridiculous racist stereotypes. It meant so much to see someone who looked like me on TV. ''[brief pause]'' We watched with Japanese subtitles. It's how I learned English.
:'''Golden Geisha''': If you're such a big fan, let me go.
:'''Frenchie''': ''Désolé'', but we cannot. Not until we get the V1 that Bombsight possesses.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Wait, that's what you're after? V1? ''[laughs]''
:'''Kimiko''': What–What's so funny?
:'''Golden Geisha''': I'll tell Bombsight to just give it to you. I sure as hell don't want it.
:'''Kimiko''': ...He stole the V1 for you, so you two could be together forever. ''[pause]'' But you didn't take it.
:'''Golden Geisha''': ''[shakes her head]'' I said no... which is why he left. I guess, for him, watching me get old was too painful.
:'''Frenchie''': I'm sorry, I do not understand. Why won't you take it?
:'''Golden Geisha''': To live forever? It'd be torture. ''[scoffs]'' You're both so young. You wouldn't understand.
:'''Kimiko''': Maybe I would.
:'''Golden Geisha''': Summer is only beautiful when you know winter is coming.
:'''Frenchie''': ''[beat; to Kimiko]'' Is this how you feel?
:'''Kimiko''': ''[nods]'' Annie and I talked about it. We'd have to... ''[signing]'' We'd have to watch you and Hughie waste away. Neither of us wants to die, but... we don't wanna be vampires either. 

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[The Legend leads Homelander inside the Boys' hideout, which is deserted]''
:'''The Legend''': Okay, um... 
:'''Homelander''': No one here.
:'''The Legend''': I grant you, it–it looks like that, yeah. But this–this is their hideout, so I'm sure there's plenty of clues all over here. ''[picks up a receipt]'' Here you go. ''[Homelander sighs]'' Oh, no. Well, this is nothing. But, you know, they have to have left something behind, you know?
:'''Homelander''': ''[looks at the receipt; chuckles]'' Hmmph. It's not nothing.
:'''The Legend''': It's a Taco Bell receipt. 
:'''Homelander''': No, ''this is Sage!'' Taunting me! 
:'''The Legend''': Okay.
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs frustratingly; sits on bed]'' This makes no sense. This makes no sense. This makes no sense! ''[chuckles]'' You said I would get the V1. You said I'd be a god. Did I do something wrong? Did I fail you? I did everything you asked me to. I gave my boy up. Please, don't leave me here to just rot. Don't just let me become ''nothing'' like ''him.'' Please…
:'''The Legend''': I gotta assume… The only reason you're saying all this stuff is, you're... You're not gonna let me walk out of here alive, are you? Yeah? Okay. Yeah. ''[pause]'' Alright, look, kid. I've been around a long time and I… This is just how it goes. You know all those old Supes at the home? Every one of them had their moments in the sun and they all thought it was gonna go on forever. And every one of them got shoved out in the end. They all got shoved out. All of them. And I know what I'm talking about; I did the shoving. I mean, look at Goldie. One minute, she's on the set of ''Undercover Geisha'', getting finger-popped by Lorenzo Lamas. The next, she's shilling for VoughtAlert necklaces and Activia poop yogurt.
:'''Homelander''': Geisha sells VoughtAlert necklaces?
:'''The Legend''': Guess you don't watch your own news channel. The point is, look, there comes a day… I got shoved out, too. Never saw it coming. Did not see that coming, and I fought it like hell. But in the end... bupkis. There is a natural order to things. And the more you fight the inevitable, the more the inevitable just… cunt-punts you. ''[pats Homelander's shoulder]'' Yep.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; gets up]'' You're not scared of me.
:'''The Legend''': No, I'm not scared of you. I… I feel for you, kid. I do. I mean, you're a fucking whackjob. But, you know, there's talent. So… No surprise there. ''[pause]'' So, there you go. Do what you gotta do.
:'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' ...You can go.
:'''The Legend''': I–I can go?
:'''Homelander''': Leave. No words. Just go. Now. Go. ''Now.''
:'''The Legend''': Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
:''[After The Legend leaves the Boys' hideout, Homelander makes a call on his cell phone]''
:'''Operator''': How can I help you, sir? 
:'''Homelander''': I need the tracking coordinates for a VoughtAlert necklace.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:'''Soldier Boy''': Tough skin or not, I can still break your fucking neck!
:'''Bombsight''': Ben, stop. Please.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause; lets Bombsight go]'' Goddammit.
:'''Bombsight''': ''[beat]'' I can't give it to you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': Goldie doesn't even wanna take it.
:'''Bombsight''': Then maybe someday, I'll find someone who will!
:'''Soldier Boy''': You were always gonna fuck it up with Goldie anyway. You could never hold down a girl! It was either a smack needle up your dick or— 
:'''Bombsight''': Having to stand next to you? You were everyone's favorite from the start, especially Clara. Everything they wanted us to be, everything they were working towards, they saw it in you. I fucking hated you for it.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No. No, I wasn't everything Clara wanted. I didn't know how to be.
:'''Bombsight''': But you loved her. What wouldn't you give to have her back... forever?
:'''Soldier Boy''': …I really fuckin' hate you.
:'''Bombsight''': No shit.
:'''Soldier Boy''': But we don't have to kill each other. I can take away your immortality... and your powers. You won't have to live forever alone. Then, you and Goldie can spend whatever time you have left like you want.
:'''Bombsight''': Why would you do that for me?
:'''Soldier Boy''': I'd do it for the V1.
:''[Bombsight hands a case to Soldier Boy, who opens it to find a V1 syringe inside. The Boys hear an explosion from far away and run towards it. Cut to Bombsight looking at the wound near his shoulder.]''
:'''Bombsight''': This is the first time I've seen my blood in... I can't remember.

&lt;hr width=&quot;50%&quot;/&gt;
:''[Homelander finds Soldier Boy with the V1 syringe he received from Bombsight. The Boys and Sister Sage watch them from the nearby woods.]''
:'''Homelander''': Don't. I don't wanna fight you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[looks down at the syringe]'' You know, Clara used to say the craziest shit. That I was the strongest Supe alive, the ultimate expression of what we could be... but she was wrong. ''[pause]'' She hadn't met you yet.
:''[Soldier Boy offers the syringe to Homelander, who accepts it]''
:'''Butcher''': No.
:'''Sister Sage''': I don't understand. He wasn't supposed to... It's impossible.
:'''Homelander''': But you hate me.
:'''Soldier Boy''': I love her more... and this is what she would want.
:''[Homelander lasers his left arm and injects the V1 into his wound. His eyes immediately start flickering and he kneels to the ground in pain. The Boys watch in horror as Homelander screams and shoots powerful lasers into the sky.]''
:'''Butcher''': '''''Run.'''''

==''&quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;'' [5.07]==
:''[A V1-empowered Homelander sits in President Calhoun's chair in the Oval Office. He hears a knock at the door]''
:'''Homelander''': Come in! ''[in a cheerful tone, as Ashley and Calhoun enter]'' Hello, you two. Isn't it a beautiful day?
:'''Calhoun''': ''[nervously]'' You're welcome to use this office as long as you need. 
:'''Homelander''': I know. Let's get right to it! While Oh Father is hard at work on my divine unveiling, I have a few action items I need you to handle.
:'''Ashley''': Of course. Anything, sir.
:'''Homelander''': The Democratic Church of America is to be the ''official'' national religion, based around the one true god: Me. 
:'''Calhoun''': Great idea.
:'''Homelander''': I want every boundary between church and state dissolved. I want troops sent into every sanctuary city that took in Starlighters. Issue an executive order banning abortion. Also, breastfeeding is now mandatory. Babies need their mothers, not fake milk. Actually, outlaw that, too.
:'''Ashley''': Sir? 
:'''Homelander''': ''[intensely] Ban nut milk.'' The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was making you think nuts were milk. ''[snickers after a short silence]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': Those are all, uh, fantastic ideas, sir, um... I'll run them by Congress– 
:'''Homelander''': No, disband it.
:'''Calhoun''': Sorry? 
:'''Homelander''': Disband Congress. It's better for freedom. 
:'''Calhoun''': Well, sir, I don't really have that authority. 
:'''Homelander''': ''[frowns]'' Ashley, do me a favor. Read Steven's mind. I want to know if he's a true believer. 
:'''Calhoun''': But of... course I am, sir.
:'''Homelander''': Terrific! Then you have nothing to worry about. ''[gets up and steps over to Ashley]'' Do it. 
:''[He rips off her wig, and she gasps and covers her face in shame as &quot;Back Ashley&quot; is revealed]'' 
:'''Calhoun''': ''[revolted]'' What the fuck is that? 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': Don't look!
:'''Homelander''': Don't make me ask again. 
:'''&quot;Back Ashley&quot;''': ''[stammering in fear]'' Sir, I–I... Sir, I...
:'''Ashley''': ''[sighs; steels herself and turns back to Homelander]'' He's terrified of you, sir. He thinks you're just a tiny bit psychotic.
:'''Homelander''': Steven! ''[steps towards Calhoun, glaring intensely]'' Here I am. A living god. ''[rests his hands on Calhoun's shoulders]'' Right before your eyes. And still, your faith wavers? ''[beat; Calhoun is clearly too terrified to answer]'' It's okay. No, I'm not angry. ''[clasps his head gently]'' But I ''am'' disappointed.
:''[He crushes Calhoun's head into a pulp, then wipes the blood off his hands on a sofa. An utterly terrified Ashley stares at Calhoun's body as Homelander sits back down at the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie sees Kimiko suffering from radiation exposure inside a homemade uranium chamber while Butcher and Frenchie watch]''
:'''Hughie''': What the fuck is going on in here?
:'''Kimiko''': I'm okay.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' The second she's ready, we go the next dose, alright?
:'''Hughie''': &quot;Next dose?&quot; Are you kidding?! Look at her! What are you doing?
:'''Butcher''': Plan fuckin' B, my son. If at first you don't succeed, find another hole to fuck. See, Soldier Boy's flashy tіt blast got me thinkin', he–he weren't born with that power. The Ivans gave it to him through a consistent application of scientific methodology.
:'''Frenchie''': They threw an atom bomb worth of radiation at him.
:'''Butcher''': Right. So, usin' the research we nicked from 'em a few donkeys back, me and Frenchie are doin' the same thing to Kimiko. She gets Soldier Boy's power, she tіt-blasts Homelander, bees and fuckin' honey.
:'''Hughie''': So when we kept asking what you two were up to, and you kept saying, &quot;Mind your fuckin' business, cunt,&quot; it was this?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah.
:'''Hughie''': Butcher, this is... the most insane-ass shit I ever heard. In a few weeks, you're gonna somehow do what it took the Russians over a decade?
:'''Butcher''': Yeah, 'cause unlike the Ivans, we got us a livin', breathin' supercomputer bunked down in student services.
:'''Hughie''': Sage? All she does is self-medicate and binge [[w:Love Island (American TV series)|''Love Island'']]. This could fucking kill Kimiko. Frenchie…
:'''Frenchie''': No. It's not my wish.
:'''Hughie''': Fuck Butcher. Who cares what he wants?
:''[Kimiko coughs and stumbles out of the uranium chamber]'' 
:'''Kimiko''': Not Butcher. ''[panting heavily]'' Me. It's my call.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Annie''': Oh Father's up to something big at Vought Studios, but we don't know what. Could be a trap.
:'''Frenchie''': Could be.
:'''Butcher''': ''[to Frenchie]'' You stay here with Kimiko and Sage. We'll bust into the studio, nab the holy twat, stomp on his bollocks till he gives us Homelander's next move. And then I'll do the cunt and we'll call it an honest day's work, yeah?
:'''Hughie''': No. Quit acting like we're going on a milk run. It's over. ''[voice breaking]'' We lost.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' [[w:Victoria Beckham|Posh Spice]] was easily the most shit member of [[w:Spice Girls|the squad]]. Could barely sing or dance. No discernible talent whatsoever. Wasn't even featured on [[w:Wannabe|&quot;Wannabe&quot;]], but did that stop her? No. You look at her now... still married with [[w:David Beckham|Becks]]. Fifteen engagement rings, 32 ''Vogue'' covers, inducted by Prince William into the Order of the bloody British Empire. Even I doubted her move into women's apparel, but her line is a staple at Paris fuckin' Fashion Week. You see, despite her obvious disadvantages–includin' a tragic inability to smile–she never gave up, and we ain't givin' up either.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[shakes his head]'' Your fuckin' pep talks.
:'''Frenchie''': Terrible.
:'''Annie''': The worst.
:'''Butcher''': Oh, bollocks. That was a fuckin' knockout.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Alone and depressed, The Deep tosses an aluminum can into the sea. A hammerhead shark appears and [[w:Samuel L. Jackson|speaks to him]]]''
:'''Xander''': Yo! You gonna get that, bro?
:'''The Deep''': Xander! ''[chuckles]'' Hey, what you doing here? So good to see you, man.
:'''Xander''': We wouldn't want a little guppy to get caught in that can, my man. Come on in, grab it. ''[swims in circles]''
:'''The Deep''': I've had such a fucked day, man. You wouldn't believe it, bro.
:'''Xander''': Yeah. Get in the water, man.
:'''The Deep''': No. You're not... You're not listening to me–
:'''Xander''': ''[angrily]'' Ah, shut the fuck up! We know you were responsible for the pipeline genocide. Remember March 15th, motherfucker!
:'''The Deep''': No... No, wait, that–That wasn't me, man!
:'''Xander''': If you step one foot, one fucking stupid-ass simian toe in the water ''ANYWHERE''—an ocean, a stream, a fucking puddle—on God, son, you're dead! We're gonna ''KILL YOU!'' You understand, you dumb motherfucker?! Water is fucking off limits to you! ''YOU ARE '''DEAD''' TO US! [swimming away]'' Bitch-ass!

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Soldier Boy sees Homelander standing over a scale model of a Homelander-themed amusement park]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': The fuck is all this?
:'''Homelander''': Hey. HomeLand. Next phase of the reboot. Showing the faithful my boundless love for them. ''[points at a monument of himself]'' That there? The Homelander Mount. We're saying that this is where the angel visited me, and I ascended to godhood.
:'''Soldier Boy''': …Right.
:'''Homelander''': You're gonna love this. ''[waves his hand over a rollercoaster]'' This area here? We're calling it: &quot;Soldier Boy! Father of God!&quot; All the fastest rides are gonna be there, and every night, there's gonna be a ticker tape parade, honoring you.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' I'm gonna head down to Bogotá. Figure I'll snort and fuck my way through the banana republics.
:'''Homelander''': Uh... When are you coming back?
:'''Soldier Boy''': Probably not for… ever.
:'''Homelander''': What? Look, if you don't like the park, I mean, forget it. I don't–I don't care about any of it. You want hοοker and blow? I'll get you all the drugs and all the wrinkly old whοres in America.
:'''Soldier Boy''': No, you're not hearing me.
:'''Homelander''': No, you're not hearing ''me.'' I am where I am because you chose me. To help me. So, I want you to have whatever you want.
:'''Soldier Boy''': What I want is to get away.
:'''Homelander''': From what? ''[scoffs]'' Or from who?
:'''Soldier Boy''': This just ain't my bag, kid.
:'''Homelander''': I welded your shield back together, you never use it. I hired you a three-star Michelin chef, all you ever order is meatloaf and chili. I even had L.J. mock up a new super suit for you. 
:''[Homelander pulls out a poster of Soldier Boy wearing an American flag-patterned suit]''
:'''Soldier Boy''': Oh, God. See, that's what I'm talking about.
:'''Homelander''': Oh, God? What?!
:'''Soldier Boy''': I don't want that. And another thing: I gave you the V1 because of Clara. Because that's what she would've wanted. This was never gonna be a &quot;playing catch on the front lawn&quot;, &quot;fixing up the old Impala&quot; bullshit. You're too weird.
:'''Homelander''': Stop fucking saying that.
:'''Soldier Boy''': And you're no god. No angel came to you. You had a wet dream about some chick with big, juicy tіts. If that makes you a god, then I'm a fucking god every night.
:'''Homelander''': '''I ''AM'' GOD!'''
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[pause]'' Would it help if I said, &quot;It's not you, it's me&quot;?
:'''Homelander''': ''[laughs softly]'' If you wanna go, go.
:'''Soldier Boy''': ''[sighs; pats Homelander on the back]'' Good luck, son.
:''[Homelander suddenly grabs Soldier Boy from behind and puts him in a chokehold until he passes out]''
:'''Homelander''': I love you.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Mother's Milk''': Help me out here. In the movie, was Homelander God, the [[w:Second Coming|Second Coming]], or Jesus' brother? 'Cause the world-building in there was fuckеd.
:'''Annie''': Does it even matter? I mean, they will believe whatever he tells them. What is the fucking point of saving people if they don't wanna be saved? This is what they want.
:'''Mother's Milk''': ''[beat]'' Alright. So, back when my Gramps got killed by Soldier Boy, shit got rough. Neighborhood kids laughed, called me soft, shit like that. And then one day, I find this pigeon on the sidewalk, wing busted. He was in bad shape. So, I run inside, grab a shoebox and a first aid kit, and come to start nursin' it. I figure, if I can save just this one life, maybe it might somehow make up for... Anyway, those same fuckin' kids, they found out. And so now, it don't take a genius to go from Marvin Milk to Mother's Milk. &quot;Yo, Mother's Milk, you letting that sky rat suck on your tіttіеs or that dіck?&quot; They were relentless. Right up until the day when that little bird flew outta my house and right over their heads, good as new. And you know what, Annie? Here's the crazy thing: I loved my new name. 'Cause I loved helpin' people. I loved being kind, makin' my family proud. That name was a badge of honor for me. Now, last year, locked up in that detention center, something changed. My heart, it just got scarred over. Like the world had just broken it one too many times. And yeah, it got easier, just being cynical. Checking out. But I also hated myself a lot more. I went from being a mοthеrfuckеr with a heart to just being a mοthеrfuckеr. But you know what? Givin' a shit in a world where nobody gives a shit? It ain't soft. It's hard as hell… and that's the real me. ''[pause]'' And that's the real you, too.

==''&quot;Blood and Bone&quot;'' [5.08]==
:'''Homelander''': It's alright. I'm not here to hurt you.
:'''Ryan''': You mean like last time?
:'''Homelander''': Look at you. No harm done.
:'''Ryan''': How'd you find me?
:'''Homelander''': Crime Analytics caught wind of a young man flying outside Kolvereid. Tends to draw attention.
:'''Ryan''': I don't want your help.
:'''Homelander''': I know. You've made that very clear. But you're also the son of God, and you should not be sleeping in a barn. You can have a whole floor of the Tower. Do what you want with it, come and go as you please.
:'''Ryan''': I don't wanna be anywhere near you.
:'''Homelander''': Everything is different now. I've ascended. I'm immortal.
:'''Ryan''': Then, why do you give a shit about what happens to me?
:'''Homelander''': Because we're family. ''[Ryan scoffs]'' We have the same blood pumping through our veins.
:'''Ryan''': Yeah, well, you've got your shitty racist dad. So you don't need me.
:'''Homelander''': No, Soldier Boy doesn't matter. You and I, that's all that matters. I know you, because I ''am'' you. And you're me.
:'''Ryan''': Dad… Get fuckеd. I am nothing like you. You were already the most powerful person on Earth. And you were a lonely, miserable piece of fucking shit, throwing tantrums when you didn't get what you want. Why the fuck would more power make you any better? It's just going to make you an even more lonely, miserable piece of shit. Scaring people into calling you God doesn't make you God. And deep down, you know that.
:'''Homelander''': ''[beat; tearfully sighs]'' It's okay. You don't know what's going on. It's okay… but you will.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[After M.M. kills Oh Father by blocking his mouth with a metal mouth gag, causing his head to explode and spill blood all around]''
:'''Hughie''': I really need a new job.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''The Deep''': Starlight... It was all a test. Yes! The universe is rewarding me for my loyalty, just like [[w:Sean Connery|Sean Connery]] rewarded [[w:Kevin Costner|Costner]] at the end of ''[[w:Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves|Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves]]''!
:'''Hughie''': Sweet ''Jesus'', you're a moron.
:'''The Deep''': ''[glances at him in annoyance, then points at Starlight]'' I'm gonna kill you. And then Homelander will finally see.
:'''Annie''': ''[to M.M. and Hughie]'' I got him. Keep going.
:''[She lunges at the Deep, carrying them both through a window and across Washington before they crash land on a seashore. They both pick themselves up, and the Deep keeps trying to attack her.]''
:'''Annie''': Why are you doing this, huh? Risking your life for a man who wouldn't even piss on you if you were on fire?
:'''The Deep''': I'm his right-hand bro! He'll piss on me whenever I want!
:'''Annie''': Listen... I know you're scared--
:'''The Deep''': I'm not scared of shit!
:'''Annie''': Deep, ''Kevin'' - I can see in your eyes. Homelander terrifies you. But he sure as fuck doesn't respect you. Don't you want to be free of it? Of him?
:'''The Deep''': That fucking mouth of yours...!
:'''Annie''': This isn't about me.
:'''The Deep''': ''[ranting]'' OF COURSE IT IS! I used to have it all! Real power, respect, a Top 50 STARmeter on [[w:IMDb|IMDb]] Pro! But all the bad shit started when ''you'' showed up! I LOST EVERYTHING!
:'''Annie''': ''You'' made those fucked-up choices. You ruined your own life. You're not a fucking baby. For once, take some responsibility for yourself.
:'''The Deep''': ''[exploding with rage] '''NOOOO!'''''
:''[They fight, and though the Deep manages to knock her to the ground once, Annie delivers several heavy blows, including one to his groin, before blasting him and sending him flying backwards into the sea. He is immediately surrounded by a mob of angry sharks.]''
:'''Sharks''': Justice for Ambrosius!
:'''The Deep''': ''[terrified]'' Oh my God! Oh shit, I'm so sorry! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Stay away from me! 
:''[He pitifully tries to swim back to shore, but a giant octopus grabs him by the leg.]''
:'''Octopus''': Say her name! 
:'''The Deep''': Fuck! I'm sorry! Oh shit!
:''[The octopus uses its tentacle to impale him through his backside, the tip erupting from his mouth. He is then dragged under, and the sharks devour him in a cloud of blood as Annie watches in shock.]''
:'''Annie''': ...Huh.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander gives his Easter address from the Oval Office and begins reading from a teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': My fellow Americans... Happy Easter. A day commemorating Jesus, who, as we all know, was tortured, stripped of his dignity and killed. And that's all well and good. But you're Americans. You deserve a God who doesn't die. A God who fights back. A God you can believe in. Well, today, I bring you good news. Recently, I was visited by an exquisite angel bearing the gift of revelation. As I bathed in her light, her heavenly lips spilled sweet truth into my ear, and I was awakened to my true purpose. Not just to be the world's greatest hero but to save all humanity. To be... the Second Coming. But in a way, really, I'm the First Coming. America... I am the Lord. Your savior. I am your God. And as such, I'm going to usher this world into a new, golden dawn. An age in which your God moves among you, seen and heard. Your prayers are truly answered when you visit homelander.church. And all I ask for in return… I simply ask that you open your hearts and put your faith in me. Those who accept my truth will be welcomed into a land of milk and honey. For I am your Fa…
:''[Homelander stares blankly at the teleprompter]''
:'''Homelander''': I am… ''[beat]'' But no matter what I do, some of you people will never accept me into your hearts. Never love me. Never believe in me. And to such heretics, I offer oblivion. And those who seek to destroy me, you will die the most horrible of deaths, as befits your wickedness. My reign will last forever, and when this world is cold and dead, I shall remain... eternal. God of the ashes.
:''[Butcher and Kimiko suddenly break into the Oval Office]''
:'''Butcher''': Evening, cunts. Daddy's home. 
:'''Homelander''': William. ''[pause]'' I was starting to think you weren't going to hold up your end of our deal.
:'''Butcher''': Scorched earth?
:'''Homelander''': A shame about the French one. How's your little science experiment going without him?
:'''Butcher''': Let's find out.

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Homelander is now at Butcher's mercy after losing his powers]''
:'''Butcher''': Shock and awe, my son. Blood and fuckin' bone.
:''[Homelander charges toward Butcher, who grabs Homelander's fist with his left hand and punches him three times with the other. Butcher grabs Homelander again and prepares to land another punch.]''
:'''Butcher''': This... is for Frenchie.
:''[Butcher punches Homelander in the face repeatedly, knocking him down to the floor and leaving him cowering in fear]''
:'''Homelander''': Stop! You owe me. All the times I could've killed you and I didn't, I let you live. I'll–I'll give you Vought. ''[Butcher picks up his crowbar]'' I'll give you Vought, alright? You can do whatever you want with it, okay? I'll–I'll... Becca. You want your wife back? I'll have a shape-shifter be her. ''[whimpers]'' Just tell me! I'll fucking suck your dіck! Please! I'll do anything! You want me to eat shit? I'll eat your fucking shit! I'll eat your fucking shit on live TV! ''[pause; Butcher knocks him down against the desk]'' Madelyn, you promised me. It's not real. ''[to Butcher]'' You can't fucking do this. ''You can't fucking do this! '''I am the Homelander!'''''
:'''Butcher''': No. Nah, you ain't nothing. And this... This is for my Becca.
:'''Homelander''': No, no...
:''[Butcher stabs Homelander in the head with the straight end of the crowbar. He lifts it up, breaking Homelander's skull open and spilling his brains all over the desk.]''

&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:''[Hughie confronts Butcher at Vought Tower to stop him from releasing the Supe virus. Butcher is looking out the window when Hughie enters the main conference room.]''
:'''Butcher''': Traffic?
:'''Hughie''': Yeah. Accident on the bridge. Should have taken the tunnel.
:'''Butcher''': ''[turns around]'' I thought you might try to stop me. But you shouldn't have come alone. You should've brought a fuckin' army.
:'''Hughie''': No. If you were gonna release the virus, you would've done it already.
:'''Butcher''': Unless... I'm waitin' for all the Supe cunts to clock in for the day shift. Not much point shootin' spunk into an empty fuckin' building, now is there?
:'''Hughie''': Okay, well, now I kinda wish I brought an army. Where's the virus, Butcher?
:'''Butcher''': I dumped it in the sprinkler tank. Frenchie's idea, God rest the mad bastard. ''[picks up remote controller]'' All I gotta do is pull this trigger, and it rains kill juice on all 99 floors. Shit will be worldwide within a couple of days.
:'''Hughie''': Why? I mean, we already won.
:'''Butcher''': Won? No, we just gave 'em a black eye. As long as there's Vought, there'll be Supes. And sooner or later, some cunt that's already out there becomes the next Homelander, and you fuckin' know it. No. We need to end the whole bloody notion of Supes, and we need to make it permanent. I mean, you can see it, right? This is it. This is the moment.
:'''Hughie''': You dragged me through fucking hell... for this. For now. To be your... canary. Or your Kessler. Or Lenny. But here's the thing: You don't need me for that. You never did. It's already in you. I can see it. You might have a broken fucking heart, but you have one. You are not a monster, Butcher. It just hurts to be human.
:'''Butcher''': I'm sorry, mate. Superheroes... are done.
:'''Hughie''': ''[pulls out gun]'' I can't let you do it.
:'''Butcher''': Petit Hughie and his gun. Takes some big bollocks to pull the trigger on a mate.
:'''Hughie''': ''[aims the gun at Butcher]'' I will if I have to.
:'''Butcher''': ''[chuckles]'' Nah. You ain't got the…
:''[Butcher takes the gun from Hughie, punches him and throws him across the room]''
:'''Butcher''': Stay down.
:''[Butcher sees Hughie staring at the remote and rushes to take it before Hughie does. Hughie quickly gets up and trades more blows with Butcher, spitting blood onto the floor after getting punched hard in the gut. Eventually, Butcher gains the upper hand and picks up the remote while Hughie lies helpless on the floor. Before he can pull the remote trigger, he has a hallucination of Lenny lying in Hughie's place. He gets shot in the abdomen by Hughie as he moves his finger away from the trigger. Realizing what he did, Hughie rushes to Butcher's side.]''
:'''Hughie''': I'm sorry. Um... I didn't wanna–I didn't wanna do that. Um... I'm–I'm gonna call an ambulance, okay?
:'''Butcher''': I wouldn't bother. It's all right, Hughie. I gave you no choice. I... I wasn't gonna stop. All the blood... and shite I put you through... and none of it made a blind bit of difference. You–You stayed yourself... no matter what I done. ''[coughs]''
:'''Hughie''': Hey.
:'''Butcher''': …I don't know what to do.
:'''Hughie''': You don't need to do anything.
:'''Butcher''': ''[beat; Hughie holds his hand]'' You really are... the spittin' of Lenny.
:''[Butcher slowly loses his grip on Hughie as he dies]'' 
&lt;hr width='50%'&gt;
:'''Hughie''': ''[last lines; to his and Annie's unborn daughter]'' Take care of your mom, Robin.

==External links==
{{Wikipedia|The Boys season 5}}
{{The Boys}}
[[Category:The Boys (TV series) seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>m8ri4bum2e5a0pdatxs5tykbk33fc7v</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Hell's Kitchen/Season 18 (Rookies vs. Veterans)</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>306795</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943990</id>
      <parentid>3939624</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T17:06:05Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Nickrj</username>
        <id>14853</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943990</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3896" sha1="hououwoi2aybrljhtiuxhbyy6270nbz" xml:space="preserve">{{italic title}}
----
:'''Seasons:'''  [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 1|1]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 2|2]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 3|3]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 4|4]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 5|5]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 6|6]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 7|7]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 8|8]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 9|9]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 10|10]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 11|11]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 12|12]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 13|13]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 14|14]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 15|15]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 16|16]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 17 (All-Stars)|17]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 18 (Rookies vs. Veterans)|18]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 19 (Las Vegas)|19]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 20 (Young Guns)|20]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 21 (Battle of the Ages)|21]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 22 (The American Dream)|22]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 23 (Head Chefs Only)|23]] [[Hell's Kitchen/Season 24 (Battle of the States)|24]] | '''[[Hell's Kitchen|Main]]'''
----
&lt;br&gt;
'''''[[w:Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)|Hell's Kitchen]]''''' is an American cooking reality show based on [[w:Hell's Kitchen (UK)|the British program of the same title]], where Chef [[w:Gordon Ramsay|Gordon Ramsay]] puts aspiring chefs through different challenges and dinner services to decide who is the best.

=== ''Rookies vs. Veterans [18.01]'' ===

=== ''A Fond Farewell [18.02]'' ===

:'''Gordon''': &quot;Scott remembers working with some of the biggest named chefs in the world. But whether they would remember him is another matter entirely. I know I won't remember him by tomorrow.&quot;

=== ''Hell's Riders [18.03]'' ===

:'''Gordon''': “Jen accused me of sabotaging her. The truth of the matter is, the only thing that sabotaged Jen tonight was her cooking.”

=== ''Hell Freezes Over [18.04]'' ===

=== ''Fish Out of Water [18.05]'' ===

:'''Gordon''': &quot;Kevin was a standout in his first time in Hell's Kitchen. Unfortunately, this time around, he seemed more determined to head back to the ski slopes than to the Las Vegas Strip.&quot;

=== ''Hot Potato [18.06]'' ===

:'''Gordon''': &quot;As a former runner-up, I expected T to come back full of swagger and skill. Sadly, she came back with double the swagger, but only a fraction of the skill.&quot;

=== ''Last Chef Standing [18.07]'' ===

:'''Gordon''': &quot;I had such high hopes for Gizzy from Day One, but if she doesn't truly believe in herself, then I can't believe in her either.&quot;

=== ''One Hell of a Party [18.08]'' ===

:'''Gordon''': “Last time she was here, Roe was a tour de force on the meat station. But tonight, her performance left me as cold as a raw New York strip.”

=== ''What Happens in Vegas [18.09]'' ===

:'''Gordon''': &quot;I really hoped that Scotley would be the Big Bad Wolf at my restaurant in Las Vegas. But after his performance tonight, I could not let him in, not by the hair on my chinny chin chin.&quot;

=== ''Poor Trev [18.10]'' ===

:'''Gordon''': &quot;On a night when it should have been Hell's Kitchen giving back to some amazing charities, it was charities that ended up giving back Jose's raw veal.&quot;

=== ''Devilish Desserts [18.11]'' ===

:'''Gordon''': &quot;Trevor is one of the most passionate chefs I've ever had in Hell's Kitchen. But, until he has the support of his brigade, he'll continue to be lost at sea.&quot;

=== ''Break on Through [18.12]'' ===


=== ''An Episode of Firsts [18.13]'' ===

:'''Gordon''': &quot;Too many times, Heather blamed her mistakes on having a bad day. I'm not looking for apologies, I'm looking for an executive chef.&quot;

=== ''What's Your Motto? [18.14]'' ===

=== ''A Rollercoaster Ride [18.15]'' ===

=== ''The Grand Finale [18.16]'' ===

:'''Gordon''': &quot;Since the first time she was here, Ariel has grown tenfold as a chef. She is fiercely talented, extremely determined, and a commanding leader. I could not be more pleased to have her as my executive chef of Hell's Kitchen in Las Vegas.&quot;

[[Category:Hell's Kitchen seasons]]</text>
      <sha1>hououwoi2aybrljhtiuxhbyy6270nbz</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Thích Trung Hiếu</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>306804</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943899</id>
      <parentid>3939753</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:37:01Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Nguyenngocthanhtoan</username>
        <id>3227502</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <origin>3943899</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="10953" sha1="apyczp2yq10obv3phd73pecme0pokv9" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Chan dung Thich Trung Hieu 2022.jpg|thumb|Venerable Thích Trung Hiếu]]
'''[[w:sh:釋中孝|Thích Trung Hiếu]]''' (born August 7, 1996, in [[w:en:Phan Rí Cửa|Phan Rí Cửa]]) is a [[w:en:Vietnamese Buddhist|Vietnamese Buddhist]] [[monk]], currently serving as the [[w:en:abbot|abbot]] of [[w:en:Chùa Phổ Lại|Phổ Lại Pagoda]] in Phong Thái Ward, [[w:en:Huế City|Huế City]]. Thích Trung Hiếu is known as its founder and has been associated with the construction and development of Phổ Lại Pagoda since 2016. In addition to his [[religious]] activities, he organizes [[community]] [[cultural]] events and [[social work]]. Thích Trung Hiếu is also an [[author]] of [[poetry]] and [[w:en:Buddhist songs|Buddhist songs]], and practices [[w:en:calligraphy|calligraphy]] and [[w:en:Buddhist sculpture|Buddhist statue carving]].

== Quotes ==

* ''Xây chùa là xây lòng người. Nếu lòng người chưa an, ngói gạch cũng chưa thành.''
** '''Translation''': Building a temple is building the human heart. If the heart is not at peace, bricks and tiles cannot truly form a temple.
*** '''Source''': {{cite web |url=https://tapchidongnama.vn/chua-pho-lai-hanh-trinh-nhap-the-tu-nhung-dieu-binh-di/ |title=Chùa Phổ Lại: Hành trình nhập thế từ những điều bình dị |trans-title=Pho Lai Pagoda: A Journey of Engaged Buddhism from Humble Beginnings |date=2026-04-04 |author=Thế Nguyễn |website=Tạp chí Đông Nam Á |trans-website=Southeast Asian Magazine |publisher={{lang|vi|Hội Nghiên cứu Khoa học về Đông Nam Á - Việt Nam}} (Vietnam Association for Southeast Asian Studies) |language=vi |access-date=2026-04-29 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20260405123820/https://tapchidongnama.vn/chua-pho-lai-hanh-trinh-nhap-the-tu-nhung-dieu-binh-di/ |archive-date=2026-04-05 |url-status=live}}

* ''Còn trong kiếp sống vô thường,&lt;br /&gt;Quý nhau là ở tình thương chân thành.''
** '''Translation''': In this impermanent life, what matters is cherishing one another with sincere love.
*** '''Source''': {{cite web |date=2023-03-19 |title=Hãy an trú tự thân của chính mình sẽ thấy an bình – Thích Trung Hiếu |trans-title=Abide in your own self, and you will find peace – Thích Trung Hiếu |url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UE38pVrcTeQ |format=Video |work=YouTube |type=Dharma talk |language=vi |publisher=Thích Trung Hiếu |time-caption=Quote recorded at |time=0:00–0:05 |access-date=2026-04-29}}
*** '''Source''': {{cite web |url=https://phatsuonline.vn/xuan-yeu-thuong-hanh-trinh-gieo-hat-lanh-tu-chua-pho-lai-27 |title=Xuân yêu thương – Hành trình gieo hạt lành từ chùa Phổ Lại |trans-title=Spring of Compassion – A Journey of Sowing Good Seeds from Pho Lai Pagoda |date=2026-03-16 |author=Ngọc Hằng |website=Phật sự Online (The official news agency of the Sangha) |publisher=Vietnam Buddhist Sangha Central Office |language=vi |access-date=2026-04-29 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20260316044108/https://phatsuonline.vn/xuan-yeu-thuong-hanh-trinh-gieo-hat-lanh-tu-chua-pho-lai-27 |archive-date=2026-03-16 |url-status=live}}

* ''Xây chùa để xóm quy Tăng học đạo từ bi đến,&lt;br /&gt;Dựng cổng cho làng hướng Phật tu nhân hỷ xả vào.''
** '''Translation''':&lt;br /&gt;Build a temple, so the village can gather in the Dharma,&lt;br /&gt;Build a gate, so people can turn toward compassion.
*** '''Source''': {{cite web |url=https://baoquocte.vn/chon-ve-binh-yen-giua-mien-trung-du-hue-329769.html |title=Chốn về bình yên giữa miền trung du Huế |trans-title=A peaceful retreat in Hue's midland region |last=Phương Linh |date=2025-10-05 |website=Báo Thế giới và Việt Nam |trans-website=The World &amp; Vietnam Report |publisher=Ministry of Foreign Affairs (Vietnam) |language=vi |access-date=2026-04-29 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20251005143155/https://baoquocte.vn/chon-ve-binh-yen-giua-mien-trung-du-hue-329769.html |archive-date=2025-10-05 |url-status=live}}

* ''Khi lũ còn ngập thì lòng người còn ấm. Một chút gửi yêu thương để khích lệ, động viên quý bà con vùng lũ vượt qua giai đoạn khó khăn này, là sự thể hiện sức mạnh tinh thần của đại đoàn kết, cũng như thể hiện từ bi cứu khổ của nhà Phật.''
** '''Translation''': As long as the floods remain, so does the warmth of human hearts. Even a small act of kindness, offered with care, can encourage and support people in flood-affected areas through difficult times—reflecting the strength of solidarity and the compassionate spirit of relieving suffering in Buddhism.
*** '''Source''': {{cite web |author=Bảo Yên; An Như |date=2025-11-01 |title=Bản Tin An Viên TV: Lễ Dâng Y Hoàng gia Thái Lan – Nghi thức trang nghiêm tại Việt Nam Quốc Tự |url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtPBLi9CW0Q&amp;t=668s |trans-title=An Vien TV News: Royal Kathina Ceremony of Thailand – A Solemn Ritual at Vietnam Quoc Tu Pagoda |format=Video |work=YouTube |type=Television news report |language=vi |publisher=An Vien Television (BTV9) |time-caption=Flood relief footage at Phổ Lại Pagoda; recorded at |time=11:13–11:32  |access-date=2026-04-29}}

* ''Một phần quà có thể nhỏ, nhưng nếu được trao bằng tấm lòng chân thành thì sẽ mang lại niềm vui lớn. Điều quan trọng là chúng ta cùng nuôi dưỡng tình thương trong cuộc sống.''
** '''Translation''': A gift may be small, but when it is given with sincere love, it can bring great joy. What matters most is that we nurture compassion together in our lives.
*** '''Source''': {{cite web |url=https://phatsuonline.vn/xuan-yeu-thuong-hanh-trinh-gieo-hat-lanh-tu-chua-pho-lai-27 |title=Xuân yêu thương – Hành trình gieo hạt lành từ chùa Phổ Lại |trans-title=Spring of Compassion – A Journey of Sowing Good Seeds from Pho Lai Pagoda |date=2026-03-16 |author=Ngọc Hằng |website=Phật sự Online (The official news agency of the Sangha) |publisher=Vietnam Buddhist Sangha Central Office |language=vi |access-date=2026-04-29 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20260316044108/https://phatsuonline.vn/xuan-yeu-thuong-hanh-trinh-gieo-hat-lanh-tu-chua-pho-lai-27 |archive-date=2026-03-16 |url-status=live}}

* ''Vầng dương lặn núi gác ngày&lt;br /&gt;Bướm ong bỏ lại tìm bay về nhà&lt;br /&gt;Còn ai khổ chuyện phù hoa&lt;br /&gt;Như làn khói nhẹ trên tòa am tranh&lt;br /&gt;Phí lời nói chuyện bại thành&lt;br /&gt;Nhìn mây tan hợp vô thanh vô sầu&lt;br /&gt;Thản nhiên mây trắng trên đầu&lt;br /&gt;Dưới chân nước biếc áo nâu in thiền.''
** '''Translation''':&lt;br /&gt;The sun sets behind the mountains, closing the day.&lt;br /&gt;Butterflies and bees leave, flying back home.&lt;br /&gt;Who still suffers over worldly gains and losses,&lt;br /&gt;Like a wisp of smoke drifting from a humble hermitage.&lt;br /&gt;Words about success and failure are in vain,&lt;br /&gt;Watching clouds gather and disperse—silent, without sorrow.&lt;br /&gt;Calmly, white clouds above one’s head,&lt;br /&gt;Beneath the feet, blue water reflects the brown robe of meditation.
*** '''Source''': {{cite web |title=Thơ Sông Hương 10-2025 |trans-title=Song Huong Poetry, October 2025 |url=http://tapchisonghuong.com.vn/tap-chi/c538/n34054/Tho-Song-Huong-10-2025.html |website=Tạp chí Sông Hương |trans-website=Song Huong Journal |author=Tạp chí Sông Hương |publisher={{lang|vi|Liên hiệp các Hội Văn học Nghệ thuật Thành phố Huế}} (Union of Literature and Arts Associations of Hue City) |location=Huế, Vietnam |date=2025-10 |language=vi |access-date=2026-02-08 |type=Literary magazine |quote=Section &quot;Thích Trung Hiếu&quot;: poems {{lang|vi|Rừng thiền}} (&quot;Forest of Zen&quot;) and {{lang|vi|Mây nước}} (&quot;Clouds and Water&quot;)}}

* ''Mây rừng bóng rọi suối hồ trong&lt;br /&gt;Thổi gió phiền trôi lặng nước dòng&lt;br /&gt;Cây dọc thẳng đường ven ngọn núi&lt;br /&gt;Đá triền ngang nẻo cạnh nguồn sông&lt;br /&gt;Dày sương đám cỏ bờ xanh ngát&lt;br /&gt;Nhẹ khói làn hoa đất thắm nồng&lt;br /&gt;Ngây ngất vị trà thiền với cảnh&lt;br /&gt;Đầy trăng tỏa bước lạc non bồng.''
** '''Translation''':&lt;br /&gt;Forest clouds cast their shadows upon clear streams and lakes.&lt;br /&gt;The wind blows, carrying away afflictions, while the water flows in stillness.&lt;br /&gt;Trees stand aligned along the path by the mountain slopes,&lt;br /&gt;Stones stretch across the trails beside the river’s source.&lt;br /&gt;Thick mist covers the lush green grass along the banks,&lt;br /&gt;Light smoke drifts through blossoms, enriching the fragrant earth.&lt;br /&gt;Enchanted by the taste of Zen tea amidst the scenery,&lt;br /&gt;Under the full moon, each step leads into a realm of transcendence.
*** '''Source''': {{cite web |title=Thơ Sông Hương 10-2025 |trans-title=Song Huong Poetry, October 2025 |url=http://tapchisonghuong.com.vn/tap-chi/c538/n34054/Tho-Song-Huong-10-2025.html |website=Tạp chí Sông Hương |trans-website=Song Huong Journal |author=Tạp chí Sông Hương |publisher={{lang|vi|Liên hiệp các Hội Văn học Nghệ thuật Thành phố Huế}} (Union of Literature and Arts Associations of Hue City) |location=Huế, Vietnam |date=2025-10 |language=vi |access-date=2026-02-08 |type=Literary magazine |quote=Section &quot;Thích Trung Hiếu&quot;: poems {{lang|vi|Rừng thiền}} (&quot;Forest of Zen&quot;) and {{lang|vi|Mây nước}} (&quot;Clouds and Water&quot;)}}

* ''“Mẹ là dòng suối chảy yêu thương&lt;br /&gt;Là đuốc trong đêm soi nẻo đường&lt;br /&gt;Là chốn yên bình, khi mỏi mệt&lt;br /&gt;Là nguồn hơi thở để con nương.”''
** '''Translation''':&lt;br /&gt;“Mother is a flowing stream of love, &lt;br /&gt;A torch in the night lighting the way, &lt;br /&gt;A peaceful refuge in times of weariness, &lt;br /&gt;The very breath on which one may rely.”

* ''“Chuông chùa đánh thức hội Vu Lan&lt;br /&gt;Phụng dưỡng mẹ cha kẻo muộn màng&lt;br /&gt;Dành chút đời người lo hiếu đạo&lt;br /&gt;Bởi lòng nặng kiếp nghĩa cưu mang.”''
** '''Translation''':&lt;br /&gt;“The temple bell awakens the season of Vu Lan, &lt;br /&gt;Care for your parents before it is too late. &lt;br /&gt;Devote a part of your life to filial devotion, &lt;br /&gt;For the debt of nurturing love weighs through a lifetime.”
*** '''Source''': {{cite web |url=https://loibaihat.me/lyric-loi-bai-hat/thich-trung-hieu/vu-lan-nho-me-hien/kt1vw |title=Vu Lan Nhớ Mẹ Hiền |trans-title=Vu Lan, Remembering a Kind Mother |date=2021 |website=Loibaihat.me |language=vi |access-date=2026-05-08}}

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Commons category}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Thích, Trung Hiếu}}
[[Category:Buddhist monks]]
[[Category:1996 births]]
[[Category:Poets from Vietnam]]
[[Category:Buddhist teachers]]
[[Category:Buddhists from Vietnam]]
[[Category:Social activists]]</text>
      <sha1>apyczp2yq10obv3phd73pecme0pokv9</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943902</id>
      <parentid>3943899</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:38:46Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Nguyenngocthanhtoan</username>
        <id>3227502</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <origin>3943902</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="10953" sha1="lx0gebbic768cvo20k6ts4vqogfjrho" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Chan dung Thich Trung Hieu 2022.jpg|thumb|Venerable Thích Trung Hiếu]]
'''[[w:zh:釋中孝|Thích Trung Hiếu]]''' (born August 7, 1996, in [[w:en:Phan Rí Cửa|Phan Rí Cửa]]) is a [[w:en:Vietnamese Buddhist|Vietnamese Buddhist]] [[monk]], currently serving as the [[w:en:abbot|abbot]] of [[w:en:Chùa Phổ Lại|Phổ Lại Pagoda]] in Phong Thái Ward, [[w:en:Huế City|Huế City]]. Thích Trung Hiếu is known as its founder and has been associated with the construction and development of Phổ Lại Pagoda since 2016. In addition to his [[religious]] activities, he organizes [[community]] [[cultural]] events and [[social work]]. Thích Trung Hiếu is also an [[author]] of [[poetry]] and [[w:en:Buddhist songs|Buddhist songs]], and practices [[w:en:calligraphy|calligraphy]] and [[w:en:Buddhist sculpture|Buddhist statue carving]].

== Quotes ==

* ''Xây chùa là xây lòng người. Nếu lòng người chưa an, ngói gạch cũng chưa thành.''
** '''Translation''': Building a temple is building the human heart. If the heart is not at peace, bricks and tiles cannot truly form a temple.
*** '''Source''': {{cite web |url=https://tapchidongnama.vn/chua-pho-lai-hanh-trinh-nhap-the-tu-nhung-dieu-binh-di/ |title=Chùa Phổ Lại: Hành trình nhập thế từ những điều bình dị |trans-title=Pho Lai Pagoda: A Journey of Engaged Buddhism from Humble Beginnings |date=2026-04-04 |author=Thế Nguyễn |website=Tạp chí Đông Nam Á |trans-website=Southeast Asian Magazine |publisher={{lang|vi|Hội Nghiên cứu Khoa học về Đông Nam Á - Việt Nam}} (Vietnam Association for Southeast Asian Studies) |language=vi |access-date=2026-04-29 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20260405123820/https://tapchidongnama.vn/chua-pho-lai-hanh-trinh-nhap-the-tu-nhung-dieu-binh-di/ |archive-date=2026-04-05 |url-status=live}}

* ''Còn trong kiếp sống vô thường,&lt;br /&gt;Quý nhau là ở tình thương chân thành.''
** '''Translation''': In this impermanent life, what matters is cherishing one another with sincere love.
*** '''Source''': {{cite web |date=2023-03-19 |title=Hãy an trú tự thân của chính mình sẽ thấy an bình – Thích Trung Hiếu |trans-title=Abide in your own self, and you will find peace – Thích Trung Hiếu |url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UE38pVrcTeQ |format=Video |work=YouTube |type=Dharma talk |language=vi |publisher=Thích Trung Hiếu |time-caption=Quote recorded at |time=0:00–0:05 |access-date=2026-04-29}}
*** '''Source''': {{cite web |url=https://phatsuonline.vn/xuan-yeu-thuong-hanh-trinh-gieo-hat-lanh-tu-chua-pho-lai-27 |title=Xuân yêu thương – Hành trình gieo hạt lành từ chùa Phổ Lại |trans-title=Spring of Compassion – A Journey of Sowing Good Seeds from Pho Lai Pagoda |date=2026-03-16 |author=Ngọc Hằng |website=Phật sự Online (The official news agency of the Sangha) |publisher=Vietnam Buddhist Sangha Central Office |language=vi |access-date=2026-04-29 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20260316044108/https://phatsuonline.vn/xuan-yeu-thuong-hanh-trinh-gieo-hat-lanh-tu-chua-pho-lai-27 |archive-date=2026-03-16 |url-status=live}}

* ''Xây chùa để xóm quy Tăng học đạo từ bi đến,&lt;br /&gt;Dựng cổng cho làng hướng Phật tu nhân hỷ xả vào.''
** '''Translation''':&lt;br /&gt;Build a temple, so the village can gather in the Dharma,&lt;br /&gt;Build a gate, so people can turn toward compassion.
*** '''Source''': {{cite web |url=https://baoquocte.vn/chon-ve-binh-yen-giua-mien-trung-du-hue-329769.html |title=Chốn về bình yên giữa miền trung du Huế |trans-title=A peaceful retreat in Hue's midland region |last=Phương Linh |date=2025-10-05 |website=Báo Thế giới và Việt Nam |trans-website=The World &amp; Vietnam Report |publisher=Ministry of Foreign Affairs (Vietnam) |language=vi |access-date=2026-04-29 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20251005143155/https://baoquocte.vn/chon-ve-binh-yen-giua-mien-trung-du-hue-329769.html |archive-date=2025-10-05 |url-status=live}}

* ''Khi lũ còn ngập thì lòng người còn ấm. Một chút gửi yêu thương để khích lệ, động viên quý bà con vùng lũ vượt qua giai đoạn khó khăn này, là sự thể hiện sức mạnh tinh thần của đại đoàn kết, cũng như thể hiện từ bi cứu khổ của nhà Phật.''
** '''Translation''': As long as the floods remain, so does the warmth of human hearts. Even a small act of kindness, offered with care, can encourage and support people in flood-affected areas through difficult times—reflecting the strength of solidarity and the compassionate spirit of relieving suffering in Buddhism.
*** '''Source''': {{cite web |author=Bảo Yên; An Như |date=2025-11-01 |title=Bản Tin An Viên TV: Lễ Dâng Y Hoàng gia Thái Lan – Nghi thức trang nghiêm tại Việt Nam Quốc Tự |url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtPBLi9CW0Q&amp;t=668s |trans-title=An Vien TV News: Royal Kathina Ceremony of Thailand – A Solemn Ritual at Vietnam Quoc Tu Pagoda |format=Video |work=YouTube |type=Television news report |language=vi |publisher=An Vien Television (BTV9) |time-caption=Flood relief footage at Phổ Lại Pagoda; recorded at |time=11:13–11:32  |access-date=2026-04-29}}

* ''Một phần quà có thể nhỏ, nhưng nếu được trao bằng tấm lòng chân thành thì sẽ mang lại niềm vui lớn. Điều quan trọng là chúng ta cùng nuôi dưỡng tình thương trong cuộc sống.''
** '''Translation''': A gift may be small, but when it is given with sincere love, it can bring great joy. What matters most is that we nurture compassion together in our lives.
*** '''Source''': {{cite web |url=https://phatsuonline.vn/xuan-yeu-thuong-hanh-trinh-gieo-hat-lanh-tu-chua-pho-lai-27 |title=Xuân yêu thương – Hành trình gieo hạt lành từ chùa Phổ Lại |trans-title=Spring of Compassion – A Journey of Sowing Good Seeds from Pho Lai Pagoda |date=2026-03-16 |author=Ngọc Hằng |website=Phật sự Online (The official news agency of the Sangha) |publisher=Vietnam Buddhist Sangha Central Office |language=vi |access-date=2026-04-29 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20260316044108/https://phatsuonline.vn/xuan-yeu-thuong-hanh-trinh-gieo-hat-lanh-tu-chua-pho-lai-27 |archive-date=2026-03-16 |url-status=live}}

* ''Vầng dương lặn núi gác ngày&lt;br /&gt;Bướm ong bỏ lại tìm bay về nhà&lt;br /&gt;Còn ai khổ chuyện phù hoa&lt;br /&gt;Như làn khói nhẹ trên tòa am tranh&lt;br /&gt;Phí lời nói chuyện bại thành&lt;br /&gt;Nhìn mây tan hợp vô thanh vô sầu&lt;br /&gt;Thản nhiên mây trắng trên đầu&lt;br /&gt;Dưới chân nước biếc áo nâu in thiền.''
** '''Translation''':&lt;br /&gt;The sun sets behind the mountains, closing the day.&lt;br /&gt;Butterflies and bees leave, flying back home.&lt;br /&gt;Who still suffers over worldly gains and losses,&lt;br /&gt;Like a wisp of smoke drifting from a humble hermitage.&lt;br /&gt;Words about success and failure are in vain,&lt;br /&gt;Watching clouds gather and disperse—silent, without sorrow.&lt;br /&gt;Calmly, white clouds above one’s head,&lt;br /&gt;Beneath the feet, blue water reflects the brown robe of meditation.
*** '''Source''': {{cite web |title=Thơ Sông Hương 10-2025 |trans-title=Song Huong Poetry, October 2025 |url=http://tapchisonghuong.com.vn/tap-chi/c538/n34054/Tho-Song-Huong-10-2025.html |website=Tạp chí Sông Hương |trans-website=Song Huong Journal |author=Tạp chí Sông Hương |publisher={{lang|vi|Liên hiệp các Hội Văn học Nghệ thuật Thành phố Huế}} (Union of Literature and Arts Associations of Hue City) |location=Huế, Vietnam |date=2025-10 |language=vi |access-date=2026-02-08 |type=Literary magazine |quote=Section &quot;Thích Trung Hiếu&quot;: poems {{lang|vi|Rừng thiền}} (&quot;Forest of Zen&quot;) and {{lang|vi|Mây nước}} (&quot;Clouds and Water&quot;)}}

* ''Mây rừng bóng rọi suối hồ trong&lt;br /&gt;Thổi gió phiền trôi lặng nước dòng&lt;br /&gt;Cây dọc thẳng đường ven ngọn núi&lt;br /&gt;Đá triền ngang nẻo cạnh nguồn sông&lt;br /&gt;Dày sương đám cỏ bờ xanh ngát&lt;br /&gt;Nhẹ khói làn hoa đất thắm nồng&lt;br /&gt;Ngây ngất vị trà thiền với cảnh&lt;br /&gt;Đầy trăng tỏa bước lạc non bồng.''
** '''Translation''':&lt;br /&gt;Forest clouds cast their shadows upon clear streams and lakes.&lt;br /&gt;The wind blows, carrying away afflictions, while the water flows in stillness.&lt;br /&gt;Trees stand aligned along the path by the mountain slopes,&lt;br /&gt;Stones stretch across the trails beside the river’s source.&lt;br /&gt;Thick mist covers the lush green grass along the banks,&lt;br /&gt;Light smoke drifts through blossoms, enriching the fragrant earth.&lt;br /&gt;Enchanted by the taste of Zen tea amidst the scenery,&lt;br /&gt;Under the full moon, each step leads into a realm of transcendence.
*** '''Source''': {{cite web |title=Thơ Sông Hương 10-2025 |trans-title=Song Huong Poetry, October 2025 |url=http://tapchisonghuong.com.vn/tap-chi/c538/n34054/Tho-Song-Huong-10-2025.html |website=Tạp chí Sông Hương |trans-website=Song Huong Journal |author=Tạp chí Sông Hương |publisher={{lang|vi|Liên hiệp các Hội Văn học Nghệ thuật Thành phố Huế}} (Union of Literature and Arts Associations of Hue City) |location=Huế, Vietnam |date=2025-10 |language=vi |access-date=2026-02-08 |type=Literary magazine |quote=Section &quot;Thích Trung Hiếu&quot;: poems {{lang|vi|Rừng thiền}} (&quot;Forest of Zen&quot;) and {{lang|vi|Mây nước}} (&quot;Clouds and Water&quot;)}}

* ''“Mẹ là dòng suối chảy yêu thương&lt;br /&gt;Là đuốc trong đêm soi nẻo đường&lt;br /&gt;Là chốn yên bình, khi mỏi mệt&lt;br /&gt;Là nguồn hơi thở để con nương.”''
** '''Translation''':&lt;br /&gt;“Mother is a flowing stream of love, &lt;br /&gt;A torch in the night lighting the way, &lt;br /&gt;A peaceful refuge in times of weariness, &lt;br /&gt;The very breath on which one may rely.”

* ''“Chuông chùa đánh thức hội Vu Lan&lt;br /&gt;Phụng dưỡng mẹ cha kẻo muộn màng&lt;br /&gt;Dành chút đời người lo hiếu đạo&lt;br /&gt;Bởi lòng nặng kiếp nghĩa cưu mang.”''
** '''Translation''':&lt;br /&gt;“The temple bell awakens the season of Vu Lan, &lt;br /&gt;Care for your parents before it is too late. &lt;br /&gt;Devote a part of your life to filial devotion, &lt;br /&gt;For the debt of nurturing love weighs through a lifetime.”
*** '''Source''': {{cite web |url=https://loibaihat.me/lyric-loi-bai-hat/thich-trung-hieu/vu-lan-nho-me-hien/kt1vw |title=Vu Lan Nhớ Mẹ Hiền |trans-title=Vu Lan, Remembering a Kind Mother |date=2021 |website=Loibaihat.me |language=vi |access-date=2026-05-08}}

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{Commons category}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Thích, Trung Hiếu}}
[[Category:Buddhist monks]]
[[Category:1996 births]]
[[Category:Poets from Vietnam]]
[[Category:Buddhist teachers]]
[[Category:Buddhists from Vietnam]]
[[Category:Social activists]]</text>
      <sha1>lx0gebbic768cvo20k6ts4vqogfjrho</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Sahara Chowdhury</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>307102</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944075</id>
      <parentid>3943264</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T22:53:33Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-28023-76</username>
        <id>3317389</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Quotes */</comment>
      <origin>3944075</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="35077" sha1="6tglr4rpvk9ppig9umy3j0uc2qg8qfl" xml:space="preserve">[[wikipedia:Sahara_Chowdhury|Sahara Chowdhury]] (born 2002) is a prominent Bangladeshi transgender activist and student who gained national attention for her advocacy for LGBTQ+ rights and authoring the Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto.
== Quotes ==
*For right wingers and moderates, the way the current social system funnels lgbts into coerced prostitution and sexual slavery is not social degeneracy and nor a strike on a sensitive issue— but  the marriage rights of lgbt people is social degeneracy and a strike on a sensitive issue, because their purpose and their  goal is precisely to keep relationships that do not produce children relegated purely within the domain of exploitative prostitution and temporary flings rather than long term families. Before elaborating on this idea one must point out that all capitalists who benefit from capitalism may not consciously understand that they are stealing the surplus value of labor from the workers. So when we speak of the purpose behind anti-LGBT rhetoric, the question will arise: “Do you really think all homophobes and transphobes calculated all of this? That they carry around this nefarious scheme?” And the answer is the same as it is with capitalists: even if they don’t understand the intricacies of the oppressive system they're benefitting from by exploiting people, their  perpetuation of that  system still makes them complicit in its injustice. So we arrive at the question: what is the purpose of homophobia and transphobia? There is, of course, the general purpose of all bigotry, to make society as hierarchical as possible so that the working person feels a semblance of control and power by imagining other working class people in a social station beneath him and comes to view his own station beneath capitalists  as only a natural product of the world.  To make exploitation of the labor of the lower class minority identities easier, such as the enslavement of black people. Or the wage gap between cis women and cis men, and lower yet wages for trans men and trans women. The purpose of bigotry mostly is not genocide, it is exploitation and slavery. And then there is the matter of forcing and coercing population increase, women are after all, womb machines to capitalists to create future workers and soldiers. The job market must be flooded and the supply of workers must exceed the capitalists’ demand that the wage equilibrium reaches ever lower and thus more profit is generated for the capitalists. Thus the infertile cis women are treated with a violence and disregard almost nearing that of society's treatment of transgender women — for neither can give birth. And thus domestic relationships that do not produce children are condemned. But of course, sexual temporary queer relationships are allowed by the system, one which people are systemically prevented from dwelling on. This is not a new phenomenon. A similar dynamic perpetuated under feudalism,  often misguidedly glorified as “tolerance.” Yes, same-sex desire was sometimes tolerated but only so under a brutal condition: you had to marry heterosexually and produce legitimate heirs, especially if you had laid claim to divine blood to justify kingship. Your queer desires could be indulged in only with disposable prostitutes and concubines who held no legal or social claim. Hijra people, sometimes celebrated as tax collectors, were in a position akin to Jewish bankers in medieval Europe, funneled into a tokenized  role.  It was not acceptance, it was ghettoization. This historical arrangement is similar to the  status quo we find ourselves trapped in today, where married closeted politicians and businessmen lead double lives, who exploit lower-class LGBT  prostitutes in secret while publicly upholding the very laws that make that exploitation possible. And here, we reach our main discussion. To understand it, we must apply a simple theory from cybernetics created by Stafford Beer: “The purpose of a system is what it does.” As he stated, there is &quot;no point in claiming that the purpose of a system is to do what it constantly fails to do.” The purpose of a system is not what its creators or proponents  say it does in paper, but what it does in reality. What does the anti-LGBT system do? Does it stop the sexual activities of LGBT people? If it does, how come there is a  disproportionately large amount of LGBT prostitutes? What does denying a group of people anti-discrimination laws at educational institutions, workplace, medical institutions do? What does denying them marriage rights do? A child gets bullied for wanting to grow out its hair and look like a girl, it gets beaten by its teachers and classmates, its academic performance suffers. In a world where children are investments for the future of their parents, it is shaping up to be a sunk cost. What of marriage? Marriage is a form of investment into accessing connections, social capital and actual capital for the family. No marriage rights  for LGBT people  means no benefit to be gained from the child after it grows up on that angle too. So what happens is you pull out of bad investments. The child gets thrown out of home. The child has no access to education and thus no access to jobs. We glorify Hijra communes in our country, yes? Post-colonialists and decolonisers love to do so. The child, now homeless, goes to these hierarchical communes, and what happens when a community living in destitute, with no education nor jobs, has to resort to begging or prostitution, and prostitution pays so much more for the children? What happens when the rich men come down with money in their bags? What happens to the child? It. Gets. Raped. This, to the capitalists, is not a bug, it is the feature of the anti-LGBT system, the very purpose, to create  for them an ever-disposable supply of young flesh to abuse.  After all, these prostitutes don't make it to a very old age due to medical discrimination. They have no access to institutionally legitimized relationships, so their partner can not consent to life saving surgeries when they're unable to. They often due to the taboo perpetuated by the ruling class are kept secret from society by their partner and when they fall ill, do not even get a visit on their deathbed. And thus the older prostitutes die off to make place for the new ones. Thus keeps on eating ouroboros its tail. But worry not, true believers! Liberals will  surely destroy this material exploitation that benefits the ruling class by using cultural terms for transgender people. Surely, calling us marginalized gender instead of transgender will remove  the incentive of the ruling class to deny us legal rights! Surely, calling the child prostitute a performer or entertainer instead of a child prostitute will fix the issue they won't even acknowledge to exist there! This system has gone on since the feudalist era. Call us ghetuputro or hijra or koti or whatever you want, at the end of the day the result is the same, LGBTs get funneled into prostitution due to lack of legal rights.  I've explained in my manifesto at length how the lack of lgbt marriage rights incentivizes parents to throw out their queer children, funnels these homeless children into prostitution, how it causes lgbt relationships to be short lived and transactional, causes trans people to be abandoned by their cis partners. Causes institutional problems due to lack of relationship acknowledgement. Anyway, while gays are denied marriage rights due to not being reproductive, marriage's endgoal remains to maintain reproduction. Ideologies that are against letting homosexuals legally marry will inevitably allow child marriage and marital rape of cis girls and women and the pederasty and coerced prostitution of queers. Women are treated as reproductive properties. Due to this, rape is less a violation of the victim's body and more a trespassing onto the father's or the husband's property. Under this mindset, marital rape can not exist because the husband is the property owner and cannot trespass his own property, child marriage is acceptable as long as the child can birth babies because that's the condition of marriage being fulfilled. And because un-reproductive bodies are not marriageable, the femboys and trans women become un-rape-able even when they're funneled into prostitution as children and violated and penetrated against consent. By maintaining medical discrimination the ruling class ensures the early deaths of these prostitutes to keep the supply of flesh forever young and maintain the lack of life long formation of attachments. While the first world legalizes Igbt marriage, it utilizes NGOs and liberal intellectuals in the third world to argue against Igbt marriage rights due to depending on the labor of third worlds. As well as incentivizing third world queers to acquiesce to getting human trafficked by sex trafficking rings to first world countries hoping for freedom from bigotry. &quot;But won't homosexual marriage rights reinforce the patriarchal institution of marriage?&quot; I'm glad you asked! But no, it won't. Marriage is patriarchal due to it being designed as a ritual of reproduction. Reproduction legitimizes child marriage as long as the child bride gives birth. It legitimizes marital rape. Because gay relationships do not reproduce, marriage which for lgbts would be a ritual of social acknowledgement- actually subverts patriarchal values. Whereas without marriage, in secrecy lgbt relationships affirm patriarchal assignment of queers within the realm of secret hookups and prostitution. Saying marriage  is capitalistic and patriarchal so gays shouldn’t get marriage rights is like saying &quot;the state exists to protect capital so socialists shouldn’t want a socialist state&quot;. You people are dumbfucks. The reason the lgbt issue can't be fixed with a similar approach to cis people's issue is because cis people are not mostly comprised of prostitutes and clients, and lgbt people are mostly comprised of prostitutes and clients. So while &quot;most reported sexual violence comes from the family members&quot; applies to cis people, it wouldn’t apply to lgbt people whose suffered violence is coming on a great level from pimps and clients who view them as lesser than family — as well as the abuse of prostitutes generally being underreported and when reported under-documented. Liberals will see all of this, and they'll say &quot;Well, how about you teach parents not to throw their queer children out and teach queers to not abandon their partners&quot;. In this, they forego critique of  problems created by policies and laws to offer individualist solutions. Instead of changing the policies that cause this. Change the individual they say, because systems are just by individuals, and they ignore mentioning which class of individuals make these rules and laws. Which class of individuals with proclivity to be rapists and pederasts enjoy the benefits of homeless queer children desperate for money. And this is why I don't have any option but violence, because the liberals refuse to be honest. John F. Kennedy was an evil man who committed genocide on communists. But he, in his self-awareness, understood one thing: “Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.” Whenever feminists mention that women are 50% of the population, they're really making an appeal to utilitarianism for women's rights. Which is fine and well. Minorities, of course, failing to rely on such a percentage, for their rights need to make a different sort of appeal to utilitarianism. The one in which utilitarianism needs to bend to their needs  not out of the whims  of the majority but rather for the safety of the majority, which must be jeopardised by the minority  until the attainment of such goals.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* When in Western countries LGBT people have rights and non-Western countries’ LGBT population demands rights, then we are told, “LGBTs are Western culture,” and when the West takes away the rights of their LGBT communities, we are told, “Even the West doesn’t have LGBT rights, how can it be in Bangladesh?” It is their thought process that is centred around the Western ruling class, not my thought process. Free, free Palestine. Death to America. Death to Israel. The Western ruling class used to segregate black and white people 60 years ago, and enslaved them 200 years ago. Black people earned their rights through struggle and blood. So would any dumbass claim black civil rights is “western hegemony”? So the LGBT rights for which Harvey Milk was murdered, Marsha Johnson and Sylvie Rivera gave their lives for — why is it called western hegemony? Western right-wingers call our rights “cultural marxism,” and certain intellectuals in our country call our rights “ western hegemony”— that’s the extent of their cultural hegemony. Gramsci had mentioned hegemony in relation to the ruling class, as I care not for Western hegemony — neither do I respect Bengali feudalistic theocratic hegemony. Some even call our marriage rights “heteronormative”, which is like calling black people’s rights to vote “whitero-normative”.
** [https://bdfeministarchives.org/2025/08/23/press-conference-statement-of-sahara-chowdhury/ Press Conference Statement of Sahara Chowdhury]
* Reiterating my point once more, there has been a recent research that found the right wing conservative American states with the most amount of anti-transgender laws also have the most amount of searches for transgender pornography.     A lot of people found this funny or hypocritical. But really, there is no hypocrisy in this. What is the consequence of anti-transgender laws? The transgender kids get thrown out of home, they can't access education without bullying, they can't get jobs. What's the consequence of that? They turn to prostitution, becoming porn actors, and concubinism. So really, conservatives are simply maintaining their supply chain of vulnerable trans people to abuse. The purpose of a system is what it does, and this is the system they've built.     Like I always say, right wingers don't want to eradicate trans people completely, just like they don't want to eradicate cis women or black people. They want trans people in the lower station in the pyramid of hierarchy. They want trans people to live as sex objects without any legal recognition of marriage or institutional recognition and die after being abused and exploited. Eradicating cis women, black people, and trans people would mean right wingers can not exploit them any longer, right wingers just want to deny them legal rights to keep exploiting them. And that's worse. 
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* It's interesting that like conservatives, liberals too maintain a social hierarchy. Whereas conservatives' social hierarchy is based on who deserves more oppression, the liberal's social hierarchy is based on who deserves more liberation. They cite how &quot;even women don't have all the rights&quot; whenever lgbt rights are brought up. A pyramid of hierarchy for liberals.   At which point in the hierarchy do queers reside? There are always bigger issues than our plight before solving which our rights are impossible to acquire so surely this implies a laundry list. Imagine if American liberals began listing off how women — half the population of America — didn’t have all the rights every time the Black people fought for their rights in the civil rights era because after all, black people were merely 10 percent of the population while ignoring the existence of black women. Liberals' approach to lgbt people is for us to assume the role of an unseemly but non-malignant tumor on the body of society rather than being an actual organ. But at the end, non-malignant tumors are cut off just to maintain aesthetics.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Do you know why charities and ngos, even when people at the top weren’t swindling the money for themselves — never substantially improved transgender lives? In the context of Bangladesh where most trans people are funneled into slums and ghettos without marriage rights as prostitutes denied family having to rely on each other to survive? A vulnerable community specifically isolated into a patch of housing environment? Let's say you're a slum lord. And these trans people suddenly get money from charities. You as a slum landlord are not going to let them spend it on themselves. You're going to raise the fucking rent. And it's easy for you to raise the rent specifically for trans people rather than both trans and cis people because the trans people are all huddled into the same living environment.  So you see how it is? A community gets specifically targeted charity but it doesn’t do jack because the community is isolated and converged into the same space rather than being allowed to assimilate into society through institutions like marriage. And so the transgender  whore still ends up having to sell its body for rent and food, because the house always wins.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Are you familiar with the concept of endless war, son? the defining characteristics are:    1) Unclear objectives: goals are vague (as in &quot;defeating terrorism&quot;) rather than specific measurable targets.    2) Inability to win: a lack of capacity to achieve stated aims, yet no risk of outright defeat. 3) Lack of exit strategy: no defined endpoint or plan for withdrawal.    4) Protracted nature: lasts for years or decades with ongoing low-intensity engagement.    Endless wars are by design endless and exist to generate profit for capitalists through perpetual conflict. Often we've seen how the enemy fought by the imperialistic American military is funded by American government itself. Terrorists are not even their enemies but simple playmates. Now scale these geopolitical conflicts down. Think about how NGO queer leaders work in Bangladesh.     1) They have no objectives, their goal is never to win any legal rights or changing policies.   2) They themselves are defeatist and always act like they're on the losing side and yet not perish, they can not win and nor can they lose.   3) They have no goals such as achieving any laws or queer marriage rights and as such they lack an endpoint.   4) Due to this, aimlessly they work on keeping the lower class queer population hooked on drip-fed charity, their tactics are low intensity to the point of refusing to even use words like gay or transgender while working for these people. NGOs are leading an endless conflict with queer lives. they have no plan for achieving marriage rights or any other rights. Their goal is. Endless. Conflict. Without an end. To secure funding. These institutions can't end the injustices they claim to fight because resolving those injustices would make them extinct.  They oppose marriage rights because it is a goal. They cannot have a goal. They can only gesture vaguely at &quot;basic rights&quot; whenever legal marriage rights are brought up. They cannot let you have peace much like war profiteers because your misery is what feeds them. The conservatives are not even their enemies, but simple playmates.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Let's talk about how shallow anticonsumerism rhetoric gets used against marginalized communities. Now,  let me preface this saying: images of socialist  icons such as Che Guevara are mass produced on merchandises in sweatshops, Soviet Union hats are mass produced and sold in sweatshops— does that mean socialism is inherently a bourgeoisie ideology? Obviously, no, even an idiot knows that. Capitalism subsumes all aesthetics and symbols. This is known. Religious artifacts are mass produced too. Now are all muslims inherently consumerists and bourgeoisie because corporations mass produce products with stars and crescents and ottoman aesthetics and some muslims buy them? Obviously, no, once again! But then, some intellectual morons accuse the lgbt community of being consumerist soft-capitalists (a meaningless term) because sweatshops produce rainbow flags too and some lgbt people buy these mass produced merchandise. They claim they are not against men fucking men but they're against the various “lgbt labels”, because they claim the labels were invented to sell products targeted to these identities, which again is a moronic fucking claim. No, the labels needed to exist because an oppressed group of people who deal with intense illegalization and denial of rights (often even denied from participation in modes of production to even be considered part of the proletariat and thus forced to be lumpen prostitutes and criminals left historically ignored in socialist nations)  need a shared identity to build solidarity for each other. Of course capitalism capitalizes on the identity of the homosexual and transgender, it capitalizes on all fucking identities, this does not mean people of these identities thus become “bourgeoise” or that even most people of these identities even buy such merchandise. So to say that a community is bourgeoisie when most of them are poor and they're killed not only in the global south but also in the west is an inhumane fucking thing to do.   Let's about transsexuals. Trans people who takes hormones to ease their sense of dysphoria is condemned by these scholarly fuckturds for being “consumerist”, some point out various injustices in the creation of hormonal medicines to condemn it altogether and declare it unnatural. Motherfucker everything from polio vaccines to abortion to the understanding of anatomy has dark histories of abused marginalized people in them. Does this mean you'll reject these technologies that have already been developed? Do you reject medicines for the cold or glasses for  your eyes because blind people didn't have access to this technology before and thus it's unnatural to use it now? Secondly, there are trans people, chemists or people with chemical knowledge,  who produce their own hormones without buying from corporations. Tell me, are you fine with hormones created without corporate ties or do you think those trans people are “brainwashed” by the “big pharma” as well to sell more “products” and thus are deserving of condemnation? Are you against state produced estrogen and testosterone in socialist nations like Cuba that are beginning to stop fucking over trannies too? Or do you think trannies in socialist countries are brainwashed by the big pharma too? The funniest thing about traditionalists who are pro-natalists trying to frame transgender people as corporate-invention consumers of medicines is that you can frame those cishets as corporate-invention consoomers who are making the act of  creating babies a huge part of their identity and in the process are tricked into consoooming more and more resources and are tricked into spending  money to uh buy things. Its bullshit, just like framing trans people as slaves of consumer culture  is bullshit. But two can play at that game.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Those self-identified &quot;queer grassroot leaders&quot; calling for restrain and secrecy in lgbt activism and decrying people speaking out without consulting them— or general intellectual/politician horde, often identifying themselves  as leftists , do not apply actual proper class analysis but remain stuck in playing a form of identity politics.     For them, owning private property  is not an signifier of class but rather aesthetics are— the openly queer people attempting open nonsecret bold activism become &quot;privileged&quot; not due to ownership of private property  or by exploiting others' labor but due to the social conventions they break — due to contradicting these people  or being rude to them. Openly queer people are assumed to be rich and thus above the law by them — rather than being openly queer because they have nothing to lose.   Class reductionism done right is better than the form of identity politics which they play.  In Spivak's essay she asked &quot;can the subaltern speak&quot; and Bangladeshi leftists have turned it into an assertive sentence — the subaltern can not speak— and thus anyone who speaks is not qualified as a subaltern. Openly queer people advocating for legal rights  are framed as &quot;privileged&quot; and &quot;doing more harm than good&quot; for the queer  collective. Anyone breaking social conventions are framed as individualists and since asking for lgbt rights is breaking social conventions, thus the queer activists are individualists and individualism is a very very very no good bad bad word, saar. However, the downlow queer activists or leaders who call for secrecy and restrain are not promoting active collectivism. They're promoting passive collectivism, passive collectivism which  seeks to not make waves but help individuals within the community through charity and access to resources. Which ironically enough can be called a form of individualism itself — queer  individuals are getting help through charity— but the system that denies them legal rights collectively is not confronted. For the bourgeoisie, the hierarchy-based society is what grants them power and privilege — and for the proletariat, the hierarchy is the cause of their suffering. Herein lies the contradiction of bourgeois charity — if the goal of charity is to alleviate suffering, then charity must dismantle the hierarchy rather than reinforce it — but that would require the bourgeoisie to act against their class interest — thus bourgeois charity is self-contradictory and can never alleviate suffering in any meaningful way but only exist to reinforce the status quo by being a tool of dominance-assertion for the ruling class which simultaneously frames them as “good people”. And thus passive collectivism is a form of individualism. I could try to argue that I am  attempting to mobilisea the community toward collective action as an individual  and that even if my actions end up hurting the collective as it always does when lgbt controversy goes viral — that in the long term it will do more good by alleviating systemic oppression and the queer activists now are thinking of short term &quot;good&quot;. But that would be rebutted with a simple &quot;ah but you will fail to change legal policies, and so there will only be short term harm without long term good&quot;.  In this case, I would not have any particular argument to provide in order to moralize my actions.  And thus I would simply accept accusations of amorality and  privilege as a part of what I am and what I do. I will simply identify myself as a knowingly harmful privileged element. The question is what's next? What can you sniveling fuckwads do after that — beyond having me arrested or killing me? I accept death. I have walked into places as bombs were being thrown. I have walked toward gunfires with nothing but bricks in my hands. I have been beaten and raped as a joke. What can you do to me that has not been done? Mine is the privilege of being Death incarnate. I moralize none of my actions— I ask no pity for what might happen to me. I preach violence for the sake of violence— conflict for the sake of conflict— whether it's sustainable or effective does not matter to me. My complete agency and its negative consequences I fully accept. Cower before my omnipotence and repent.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* The problem that is happening now is that these fringe political groups are framing themselves as ordinary people. They are not ordinary people. The ordinary people were here all day. They did nothing. They are not against us. If they make any public statement against us, it will be because of pressure from those political parties — because they have to live here. If they go against the political party, the party has state power. The party will come and demolish their stalls. So the point is that ordinary people are not against us. I was interacting with ordinary people all day. Ordinary people did nothing. The ones who are against us are a few lifeless, subhuman people, people like animals. Their job is to establish fascism. And the fact that they have started this recently — they got this from the West too. In the West as well, there wasn’t much major opposition to transgender people for a long time. After 2016, Ben Shapiro, Michael Walsh — these kinds of Zionists, these Israel-supporting people — started speaking against transgender people. Meanwhile we can see that transgender and gay people in Western countries have united and stood against their aggression, spoken against their imperialism, worked against Israel’s genocide of Palestinian people. There is Queer for Palestine. There are many groups like this. These people in the West carry on their work. But here in Bangladesh, right-wingers like Sarwar Hossain (Sorowar Hossain) — when Trump speaks against transgender people, when Michael Walsh speaks against transgender people, when their driving forces speak against transgender people, they don’t notice that these same people defend Israel. These same people carry out genocide in Palestine, carry out genocide in UNRWA. Then they take the side of these genocidal imperialists and say — &quot;well, since they speak against transgender people, they must be good.&quot;
** [https://zahranesque.substack.com/p/how-the-right-wing-decides-who-counts How the Right-Wing Decides Who Counts as Intersex, Trans, or Gay]
* Politicians (like Sarjis Alam) often present &quot;conversion therapy&quot; as an answer to lgbt people. This of course is to sate rich parents who worry their children might be lgbt and as a result suffer bigotry. Conversion therapy will of course only be accessible to the rich. Poor people won't be able to afford institutionally torturing their children under guise of therapy. So in the present dynamic in which lower class visibly queer lgbts are funneled into prostitution and rich people who are closeted exploit them — conversion therapy acts as a course correction or safeguard for lgbt people born to rich parents who may rebel against this social dynamic in their youth and come out of closet. Thus conversion &quot;therapy&quot; is used to torture them until they agree to get back to closet and dance to the tune of status quo and be one of those miserable closeted cishet-married middle aged people cheating on their partner— and this therapy/torture is a social symbol of repentance/redemption from their &quot;temporary corruption by the lgbt agenda&quot;. Thus conversion therapy is offered to rich parents as an alternative to lgbt rights, and it appeals to them because civil rights for lgbts would apply to all classes — meanwhile  conversion therapy  is an exclusive &quot;solution&quot; to the rich. 
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* On a class interest level, the hijra underling and the transgender are not opponents— but the hijra guruma and the transgender are in class conflict and are opponents.   Transgenderism introduces an idea of gender deviancy in this region that does not require submission to an authority or leadership figure like the guruma.   Because the guruma exploits the underling's money from begging and selling them into sexual contracts (with the client base often extending to India), on an existential level the idea of gender-deviants not flocking together and instead  trying to establish  their legal rights/ability to perpetuate life  outside the hijra system is a threat to gurumas' labor capital. [This does not mean transgenderism without trans rights would end trans people's funneling toward sex work, it would simply either 1) make them their own solicitor or more likely 2) make a pimp who is not the guruma the solicitor, which nonetheless destabilizes their power]   Of course there are &quot;good&quot; gurumas, as there are feudal lords who maybe personally a &quot;good&quot; person, but on a systemic level the hijra caste is not sustainable in a way that does not leave the underlings traumatized and exploited. And people who can not think systemically and are hooked on addlepated  micro-narratives will be offended at the suggestion.  Whereas the Awami League constitutional  framing of hijra as an &quot;intersex&quot; identity is ahistorical and many hijra guruma want a form of legal recognition that recognizes it as an identity adjacent profession (in simpler term a caste and their goal being to legally perpetuate this caste due to their benefit incentive), the transgender identity if legally recognized would be so outside this caste system.  The hijra legal recognition right now does not really fully benefit even the gurumas as it limits the definition to &quot;intersex&quot; (and only the ones whose genitalia are variant, not the chromosomal or hormone variant ones) so on a legal basis  most of them are not covered by it, although the gurumas can still use this to control their commune members by reporting to cops of the ones trying to leave the hijra system without forsaking their gender presentation as &quot;fake hijras&quot;, which the legal definition of hijras as intersex would get the hypothetical underling in trouble cause the cops will be checking the underling's genitals rather than the wealth-backed gurumas'.  Fuckass libshits will frame this as a colonial individualism (trans) versus traditional collective (hijra) issue, rather than a non-feudal identity versus feudal identity or non-labor-exploitative versus labor-exploitative  issue.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury</text>
      <sha1>6tglr4rpvk9ppig9umy3j0uc2qg8qfl</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944085</id>
      <parentid>3944075</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T23:27:11Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-28023-76</username>
        <id>3317389</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Added more quotes.</comment>
      <origin>3944085</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="56306" sha1="9c8iam57ruq9m6znamypq8iltv8rnaz" xml:space="preserve">[[wikipedia:Sahara_Chowdhury|Sahara Chowdhury]] (born 2002) is a prominent Bangladeshi transgender July Uprising activist and student who gained national attention for her advocacy for LGBTQ+ rights and authoring the Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto.
== Quotes ==
*For right wingers and moderates, the way the current social system funnels lgbts into coerced prostitution and sexual slavery is not social degeneracy and nor a strike on a sensitive issue— but  the marriage rights of lgbt people is social degeneracy and a strike on a sensitive issue, because their purpose and their  goal is precisely to keep relationships that do not produce children relegated purely within the domain of exploitative prostitution and temporary flings rather than long term families. Before elaborating on this idea one must point out that all capitalists who benefit from capitalism may not consciously understand that they are stealing the surplus value of labor from the workers. So when we speak of the purpose behind anti-LGBT rhetoric, the question will arise: “Do you really think all homophobes and transphobes calculated all of this? That they carry around this nefarious scheme?” And the answer is the same as it is with capitalists: even if they don’t understand the intricacies of the oppressive system they're benefitting from by exploiting people, their  perpetuation of that  system still makes them complicit in its injustice. So we arrive at the question: what is the purpose of homophobia and transphobia? There is, of course, the general purpose of all bigotry, to make society as hierarchical as possible so that the working person feels a semblance of control and power by imagining other working class people in a social station beneath him and comes to view his own station beneath capitalists  as only a natural product of the world.  To make exploitation of the labor of the lower class minority identities easier, such as the enslavement of black people. Or the wage gap between cis women and cis men, and lower yet wages for trans men and trans women. The purpose of bigotry mostly is not genocide, it is exploitation and slavery. And then there is the matter of forcing and coercing population increase, women are after all, womb machines to capitalists to create future workers and soldiers. The job market must be flooded and the supply of workers must exceed the capitalists’ demand that the wage equilibrium reaches ever lower and thus more profit is generated for the capitalists. Thus the infertile cis women are treated with a violence and disregard almost nearing that of society's treatment of transgender women — for neither can give birth. And thus domestic relationships that do not produce children are condemned. But of course, sexual temporary queer relationships are allowed by the system, one which people are systemically prevented from dwelling on. This is not a new phenomenon. A similar dynamic perpetuated under feudalism,  often misguidedly glorified as “tolerance.” Yes, same-sex desire was sometimes tolerated but only so under a brutal condition: you had to marry heterosexually and produce legitimate heirs, especially if you had laid claim to divine blood to justify kingship. Your queer desires could be indulged in only with disposable prostitutes and concubines who held no legal or social claim. Hijra people, sometimes celebrated as tax collectors, were in a position akin to Jewish bankers in medieval Europe, funneled into a tokenized  role.  It was not acceptance, it was ghettoization. This historical arrangement is similar to the  status quo we find ourselves trapped in today, where married closeted politicians and businessmen lead double lives, who exploit lower-class LGBT  prostitutes in secret while publicly upholding the very laws that make that exploitation possible. And here, we reach our main discussion. To understand it, we must apply a simple theory from cybernetics created by Stafford Beer: “The purpose of a system is what it does.” As he stated, there is &quot;no point in claiming that the purpose of a system is to do what it constantly fails to do.” The purpose of a system is not what its creators or proponents  say it does in paper, but what it does in reality. What does the anti-LGBT system do? Does it stop the sexual activities of LGBT people? If it does, how come there is a  disproportionately large amount of LGBT prostitutes? What does denying a group of people anti-discrimination laws at educational institutions, workplace, medical institutions do? What does denying them marriage rights do? A child gets bullied for wanting to grow out its hair and look like a girl, it gets beaten by its teachers and classmates, its academic performance suffers. In a world where children are investments for the future of their parents, it is shaping up to be a sunk cost. What of marriage? Marriage is a form of investment into accessing connections, social capital and actual capital for the family. No marriage rights  for LGBT people  means no benefit to be gained from the child after it grows up on that angle too. So what happens is you pull out of bad investments. The child gets thrown out of home. The child has no access to education and thus no access to jobs. We glorify Hijra communes in our country, yes? Post-colonialists and decolonisers love to do so. The child, now homeless, goes to these hierarchical communes, and what happens when a community living in destitute, with no education nor jobs, has to resort to begging or prostitution, and prostitution pays so much more for the children? What happens when the rich men come down with money in their bags? What happens to the child? It. Gets. Raped. This, to the capitalists, is not a bug, it is the feature of the anti-LGBT system, the very purpose, to create  for them an ever-disposable supply of young flesh to abuse.  After all, these prostitutes don't make it to a very old age due to medical discrimination. They have no access to institutionally legitimized relationships, so their partner can not consent to life saving surgeries when they're unable to. They often due to the taboo perpetuated by the ruling class are kept secret from society by their partner and when they fall ill, do not even get a visit on their deathbed. And thus the older prostitutes die off to make place for the new ones. Thus keeps on eating ouroboros its tail. But worry not, true believers! Liberals will  surely destroy this material exploitation that benefits the ruling class by using cultural terms for transgender people. Surely, calling us marginalized gender instead of transgender will remove  the incentive of the ruling class to deny us legal rights! Surely, calling the child prostitute a performer or entertainer instead of a child prostitute will fix the issue they won't even acknowledge to exist there! This system has gone on since the feudalist era. Call us ghetuputro or hijra or koti or whatever you want, at the end of the day the result is the same, LGBTs get funneled into prostitution due to lack of legal rights.  I've explained in my manifesto at length how the lack of lgbt marriage rights incentivizes parents to throw out their queer children, funnels these homeless children into prostitution, how it causes lgbt relationships to be short lived and transactional, causes trans people to be abandoned by their cis partners. Causes institutional problems due to lack of relationship acknowledgement. Anyway, while gays are denied marriage rights due to not being reproductive, marriage's endgoal remains to maintain reproduction. Ideologies that are against letting homosexuals legally marry will inevitably allow child marriage and marital rape of cis girls and women and the pederasty and coerced prostitution of queers. Women are treated as reproductive properties. Due to this, rape is less a violation of the victim's body and more a trespassing onto the father's or the husband's property. Under this mindset, marital rape can not exist because the husband is the property owner and cannot trespass his own property, child marriage is acceptable as long as the child can birth babies because that's the condition of marriage being fulfilled. And because un-reproductive bodies are not marriageable, the femboys and trans women become un-rape-able even when they're funneled into prostitution as children and violated and penetrated against consent. By maintaining medical discrimination the ruling class ensures the early deaths of these prostitutes to keep the supply of flesh forever young and maintain the lack of life long formation of attachments. While the first world legalizes Igbt marriage, it utilizes NGOs and liberal intellectuals in the third world to argue against Igbt marriage rights due to depending on the labor of third worlds. As well as incentivizing third world queers to acquiesce to getting human trafficked by sex trafficking rings to first world countries hoping for freedom from bigotry. &quot;But won't homosexual marriage rights reinforce the patriarchal institution of marriage?&quot; I'm glad you asked! But no, it won't. Marriage is patriarchal due to it being designed as a ritual of reproduction. Reproduction legitimizes child marriage as long as the child bride gives birth. It legitimizes marital rape. Because gay relationships do not reproduce, marriage which for lgbts would be a ritual of social acknowledgement- actually subverts patriarchal values. Whereas without marriage, in secrecy lgbt relationships affirm patriarchal assignment of queers within the realm of secret hookups and prostitution. Saying marriage  is capitalistic and patriarchal so gays shouldn’t get marriage rights is like saying &quot;the state exists to protect capital so socialists shouldn’t want a socialist state&quot;. You people are dumbfucks. The reason the lgbt issue can't be fixed with a similar approach to cis people's issue is because cis people are not mostly comprised of prostitutes and clients, and lgbt people are mostly comprised of prostitutes and clients. So while &quot;most reported sexual violence comes from the family members&quot; applies to cis people, it wouldn’t apply to lgbt people whose suffered violence is coming on a great level from pimps and clients who view them as lesser than family — as well as the abuse of prostitutes generally being underreported and when reported under-documented. Liberals will see all of this, and they'll say &quot;Well, how about you teach parents not to throw their queer children out and teach queers to not abandon their partners&quot;. In this, they forego critique of  problems created by policies and laws to offer individualist solutions. Instead of changing the policies that cause this. Change the individual they say, because systems are just by individuals, and they ignore mentioning which class of individuals make these rules and laws. Which class of individuals with proclivity to be rapists and pederasts enjoy the benefits of homeless queer children desperate for money. And this is why I don't have any option but violence, because the liberals refuse to be honest. John F. Kennedy was an evil man who committed genocide on communists. But he, in his self-awareness, understood one thing: “Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.” Whenever feminists mention that women are 50% of the population, they're really making an appeal to utilitarianism for women's rights. Which is fine and well. Minorities, of course, failing to rely on such a percentage, for their rights need to make a different sort of appeal to utilitarianism. The one in which utilitarianism needs to bend to their needs  not out of the whims  of the majority but rather for the safety of the majority, which must be jeopardised by the minority  until the attainment of such goals.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* When in Western countries LGBT people have rights and non-Western countries’ LGBT population demands rights, then we are told, “LGBTs are Western culture,” and when the West takes away the rights of their LGBT communities, we are told, “Even the West doesn’t have LGBT rights, how can it be in Bangladesh?” It is their thought process that is centred around the Western ruling class, not my thought process. Free, free Palestine. Death to America. Death to Israel. The Western ruling class used to segregate black and white people 60 years ago, and enslaved them 200 years ago. Black people earned their rights through struggle and blood. So would any dumbass claim black civil rights is “western hegemony”? So the LGBT rights for which Harvey Milk was murdered, Marsha Johnson and Sylvie Rivera gave their lives for — why is it called western hegemony? Western right-wingers call our rights “cultural marxism,” and certain intellectuals in our country call our rights “ western hegemony”— that’s the extent of their cultural hegemony. Gramsci had mentioned hegemony in relation to the ruling class, as I care not for Western hegemony — neither do I respect Bengali feudalistic theocratic hegemony. Some even call our marriage rights “heteronormative”, which is like calling black people’s rights to vote “whitero-normative”.
** [https://bdfeministarchives.org/2025/08/23/press-conference-statement-of-sahara-chowdhury/ Press Conference Statement of Sahara Chowdhury]
* Reiterating my point once more, there has been a recent research that found the right wing conservative American states with the most amount of anti-transgender laws also have the most amount of searches for transgender pornography.     A lot of people found this funny or hypocritical. But really, there is no hypocrisy in this. What is the consequence of anti-transgender laws? The transgender kids get thrown out of home, they can't access education without bullying, they can't get jobs. What's the consequence of that? They turn to prostitution, becoming porn actors, and concubinism. So really, conservatives are simply maintaining their supply chain of vulnerable trans people to abuse. The purpose of a system is what it does, and this is the system they've built.     Like I always say, right wingers don't want to eradicate trans people completely, just like they don't want to eradicate cis women or black people. They want trans people in the lower station in the pyramid of hierarchy. They want trans people to live as sex objects without any legal recognition of marriage or institutional recognition and die after being abused and exploited. Eradicating cis women, black people, and trans people would mean right wingers can not exploit them any longer, right wingers just want to deny them legal rights to keep exploiting them. And that's worse. 
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* It's interesting that like conservatives, liberals too maintain a social hierarchy. Whereas conservatives' social hierarchy is based on who deserves more oppression, the liberal's social hierarchy is based on who deserves more liberation. They cite how &quot;even women don't have all the rights&quot; whenever lgbt rights are brought up. A pyramid of hierarchy for liberals.   At which point in the hierarchy do queers reside? There are always bigger issues than our plight before solving which our rights are impossible to acquire so surely this implies a laundry list. Imagine if American liberals began listing off how women — half the population of America — didn’t have all the rights every time the Black people fought for their rights in the civil rights era because after all, black people were merely 10 percent of the population while ignoring the existence of black women. Liberals' approach to lgbt people is for us to assume the role of an unseemly but non-malignant tumor on the body of society rather than being an actual organ. But at the end, non-malignant tumors are cut off just to maintain aesthetics.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Do you know why charities and ngos, even when people at the top weren’t swindling the money for themselves — never substantially improved transgender lives? In the context of Bangladesh where most trans people are funneled into slums and ghettos without marriage rights as prostitutes denied family having to rely on each other to survive? A vulnerable community specifically isolated into a patch of housing environment? Let's say you're a slum lord. And these trans people suddenly get money from charities. You as a slum landlord are not going to let them spend it on themselves. You're going to raise the fucking rent. And it's easy for you to raise the rent specifically for trans people rather than both trans and cis people because the trans people are all huddled into the same living environment.  So you see how it is? A community gets specifically targeted charity but it doesn’t do jack because the community is isolated and converged into the same space rather than being allowed to assimilate into society through institutions like marriage. And so the transgender  whore still ends up having to sell its body for rent and food, because the house always wins.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Are you familiar with the concept of endless war, son? the defining characteristics are:    1) Unclear objectives: goals are vague (as in &quot;defeating terrorism&quot;) rather than specific measurable targets.    2) Inability to win: a lack of capacity to achieve stated aims, yet no risk of outright defeat. 3) Lack of exit strategy: no defined endpoint or plan for withdrawal.    4) Protracted nature: lasts for years or decades with ongoing low-intensity engagement.    Endless wars are by design endless and exist to generate profit for capitalists through perpetual conflict. Often we've seen how the enemy fought by the imperialistic American military is funded by American government itself. Terrorists are not even their enemies but simple playmates. Now scale these geopolitical conflicts down. Think about how NGO queer leaders work in Bangladesh.     1) They have no objectives, their goal is never to win any legal rights or changing policies.   2) They themselves are defeatist and always act like they're on the losing side and yet not perish, they can not win and nor can they lose.   3) They have no goals such as achieving any laws or queer marriage rights and as such they lack an endpoint.   4) Due to this, aimlessly they work on keeping the lower class queer population hooked on drip-fed charity, their tactics are low intensity to the point of refusing to even use words like gay or transgender while working for these people. NGOs are leading an endless conflict with queer lives. they have no plan for achieving marriage rights or any other rights. Their goal is. Endless. Conflict. Without an end. To secure funding. These institutions can't end the injustices they claim to fight because resolving those injustices would make them extinct.  They oppose marriage rights because it is a goal. They cannot have a goal. They can only gesture vaguely at &quot;basic rights&quot; whenever legal marriage rights are brought up. They cannot let you have peace much like war profiteers because your misery is what feeds them. The conservatives are not even their enemies, but simple playmates.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Let's talk about how shallow anticonsumerism rhetoric gets used against marginalized communities. Now,  let me preface this saying: images of socialist  icons such as Che Guevara are mass produced on merchandises in sweatshops, Soviet Union hats are mass produced and sold in sweatshops— does that mean socialism is inherently a bourgeoisie ideology? Obviously, no, even an idiot knows that. Capitalism subsumes all aesthetics and symbols. This is known. Religious artifacts are mass produced too. Now are all muslims inherently consumerists and bourgeoisie because corporations mass produce products with stars and crescents and ottoman aesthetics and some muslims buy them? Obviously, no, once again! But then, some intellectual morons accuse the lgbt community of being consumerist soft-capitalists (a meaningless term) because sweatshops produce rainbow flags too and some lgbt people buy these mass produced merchandise. They claim they are not against men fucking men but they're against the various “lgbt labels”, because they claim the labels were invented to sell products targeted to these identities, which again is a moronic fucking claim. No, the labels needed to exist because an oppressed group of people who deal with intense illegalization and denial of rights (often even denied from participation in modes of production to even be considered part of the proletariat and thus forced to be lumpen prostitutes and criminals left historically ignored in socialist nations)  need a shared identity to build solidarity for each other. Of course capitalism capitalizes on the identity of the homosexual and transgender, it capitalizes on all fucking identities, this does not mean people of these identities thus become “bourgeoise” or that even most people of these identities even buy such merchandise. So to say that a community is bourgeoisie when most of them are poor and they're killed not only in the global south but also in the west is an inhumane fucking thing to do.   Let's about transsexuals. Trans people who takes hormones to ease their sense of dysphoria is condemned by these scholarly fuckturds for being “consumerist”, some point out various injustices in the creation of hormonal medicines to condemn it altogether and declare it unnatural. Motherfucker everything from polio vaccines to abortion to the understanding of anatomy has dark histories of abused marginalized people in them. Does this mean you'll reject these technologies that have already been developed? Do you reject medicines for the cold or glasses for  your eyes because blind people didn't have access to this technology before and thus it's unnatural to use it now? Secondly, there are trans people, chemists or people with chemical knowledge,  who produce their own hormones without buying from corporations. Tell me, are you fine with hormones created without corporate ties or do you think those trans people are “brainwashed” by the “big pharma” as well to sell more “products” and thus are deserving of condemnation? Are you against state produced estrogen and testosterone in socialist nations like Cuba that are beginning to stop fucking over trannies too? Or do you think trannies in socialist countries are brainwashed by the big pharma too? The funniest thing about traditionalists who are pro-natalists trying to frame transgender people as corporate-invention consumers of medicines is that you can frame those cishets as corporate-invention consoomers who are making the act of  creating babies a huge part of their identity and in the process are tricked into consoooming more and more resources and are tricked into spending  money to uh buy things. Its bullshit, just like framing trans people as slaves of consumer culture  is bullshit. But two can play at that game.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Those self-identified &quot;queer grassroot leaders&quot; calling for restrain and secrecy in lgbt activism and decrying people speaking out without consulting them— or general intellectual/politician horde, often identifying themselves  as leftists , do not apply actual proper class analysis but remain stuck in playing a form of identity politics.     For them, owning private property  is not an signifier of class but rather aesthetics are— the openly queer people attempting open nonsecret bold activism become &quot;privileged&quot; not due to ownership of private property  or by exploiting others' labor but due to the social conventions they break — due to contradicting these people  or being rude to them. Openly queer people are assumed to be rich and thus above the law by them — rather than being openly queer because they have nothing to lose.   Class reductionism done right is better than the form of identity politics which they play.  In Spivak's essay she asked &quot;can the subaltern speak&quot; and Bangladeshi leftists have turned it into an assertive sentence — the subaltern can not speak— and thus anyone who speaks is not qualified as a subaltern. Openly queer people advocating for legal rights  are framed as &quot;privileged&quot; and &quot;doing more harm than good&quot; for the queer  collective. Anyone breaking social conventions are framed as individualists and since asking for lgbt rights is breaking social conventions, thus the queer activists are individualists and individualism is a very very very no good bad bad word, saar. However, the downlow queer activists or leaders who call for secrecy and restrain are not promoting active collectivism. They're promoting passive collectivism, passive collectivism which  seeks to not make waves but help individuals within the community through charity and access to resources. Which ironically enough can be called a form of individualism itself — queer  individuals are getting help through charity— but the system that denies them legal rights collectively is not confronted. For the bourgeoisie, the hierarchy-based society is what grants them power and privilege — and for the proletariat, the hierarchy is the cause of their suffering. Herein lies the contradiction of bourgeois charity — if the goal of charity is to alleviate suffering, then charity must dismantle the hierarchy rather than reinforce it — but that would require the bourgeoisie to act against their class interest — thus bourgeois charity is self-contradictory and can never alleviate suffering in any meaningful way but only exist to reinforce the status quo by being a tool of dominance-assertion for the ruling class which simultaneously frames them as “good people”. And thus passive collectivism is a form of individualism. I could try to argue that I am  attempting to mobilisea the community toward collective action as an individual  and that even if my actions end up hurting the collective as it always does when lgbt controversy goes viral — that in the long term it will do more good by alleviating systemic oppression and the queer activists now are thinking of short term &quot;good&quot;. But that would be rebutted with a simple &quot;ah but you will fail to change legal policies, and so there will only be short term harm without long term good&quot;.  In this case, I would not have any particular argument to provide in order to moralize my actions.  And thus I would simply accept accusations of amorality and  privilege as a part of what I am and what I do. I will simply identify myself as a knowingly harmful privileged element. The question is what's next? What can you sniveling fuckwads do after that — beyond having me arrested or killing me? I accept death. I have walked into places as bombs were being thrown. I have walked toward gunfires with nothing but bricks in my hands. I have been beaten and raped as a joke. What can you do to me that has not been done? Mine is the privilege of being Death incarnate. I moralize none of my actions— I ask no pity for what might happen to me. I preach violence for the sake of violence— conflict for the sake of conflict— whether it's sustainable or effective does not matter to me. My complete agency and its negative consequences I fully accept. Cower before my omnipotence and repent.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* The problem that is happening now is that these fringe political groups are framing themselves as ordinary people. They are not ordinary people. The ordinary people were here all day. They did nothing. They are not against us. If they make any public statement against us, it will be because of pressure from those political parties — because they have to live here. If they go against the political party, the party has state power. The party will come and demolish their stalls. So the point is that ordinary people are not against us. I was interacting with ordinary people all day. Ordinary people did nothing. The ones who are against us are a few lifeless, subhuman people, people like animals. Their job is to establish fascism. And the fact that they have started this recently — they got this from the West too. In the West as well, there wasn’t much major opposition to transgender people for a long time. After 2016, Ben Shapiro, Michael Walsh — these kinds of Zionists, these Israel-supporting people — started speaking against transgender people. Meanwhile we can see that transgender and gay people in Western countries have united and stood against their aggression, spoken against their imperialism, worked against Israel’s genocide of Palestinian people. There is Queer for Palestine. There are many groups like this. These people in the West carry on their work. But here in Bangladesh, right-wingers like Sarwar Hossain (Sorowar Hossain) — when Trump speaks against transgender people, when Michael Walsh speaks against transgender people, when their driving forces speak against transgender people, they don’t notice that these same people defend Israel. These same people carry out genocide in Palestine, carry out genocide in UNRWA. Then they take the side of these genocidal imperialists and say — &quot;well, since they speak against transgender people, they must be good.&quot;
** [https://zahranesque.substack.com/p/how-the-right-wing-decides-who-counts How the Right-Wing Decides Who Counts as Intersex, Trans, or Gay]
* Politicians (like Sarjis Alam) often present &quot;conversion therapy&quot; as an answer to lgbt people. This of course is to sate rich parents who worry their children might be lgbt and as a result suffer bigotry. Conversion therapy will of course only be accessible to the rich. Poor people won't be able to afford institutionally torturing their children under guise of therapy. So in the present dynamic in which lower class visibly queer lgbts are funneled into prostitution and rich people who are closeted exploit them — conversion therapy acts as a course correction or safeguard for lgbt people born to rich parents who may rebel against this social dynamic in their youth and come out of closet. Thus conversion &quot;therapy&quot; is used to torture them until they agree to get back to closet and dance to the tune of status quo and be one of those miserable closeted cishet-married middle aged people cheating on their partner— and this therapy/torture is a social symbol of repentance/redemption from their &quot;temporary corruption by the lgbt agenda&quot;. Thus conversion therapy is offered to rich parents as an alternative to lgbt rights, and it appeals to them because civil rights for lgbts would apply to all classes — meanwhile  conversion therapy  is an exclusive &quot;solution&quot; to the rich. 
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* On a class interest level, the hijra underling and the transgender are not opponents— but the hijra guruma and the transgender are in class conflict and are opponents.   Transgenderism introduces an idea of gender deviancy in this region that does not require submission to an authority or leadership figure like the guruma.   Because the guruma exploits the underling's money from begging and selling them into sexual contracts (with the client base often extending to India), on an existential level the idea of gender-deviants not flocking together and instead  trying to establish  their legal rights/ability to perpetuate life  outside the hijra system is a threat to gurumas' labor capital. [This does not mean transgenderism without trans rights would end trans people's funneling toward sex work, it would simply either 1) make them their own solicitor or more likely 2) make a pimp who is not the guruma the solicitor, which nonetheless destabilizes their power]   Of course there are &quot;good&quot; gurumas, as there are feudal lords who maybe personally a &quot;good&quot; person, but on a systemic level the hijra caste is not sustainable in a way that does not leave the underlings traumatized and exploited. And people who can not think systemically and are hooked on addlepated  micro-narratives will be offended at the suggestion.  Whereas the Awami League constitutional  framing of hijra as an &quot;intersex&quot; identity is ahistorical and many hijra guruma want a form of legal recognition that recognizes it as an identity adjacent profession (in simpler term a caste and their goal being to legally perpetuate this caste due to their benefit incentive), the transgender identity if legally recognized would be so outside this caste system.  The hijra legal recognition right now does not really fully benefit even the gurumas as it limits the definition to &quot;intersex&quot; (and only the ones whose genitalia are variant, not the chromosomal or hormone variant ones) so on a legal basis  most of them are not covered by it, although the gurumas can still use this to control their commune members by reporting to cops of the ones trying to leave the hijra system without forsaking their gender presentation as &quot;fake hijras&quot;, which the legal definition of hijras as intersex would get the hypothetical underling in trouble cause the cops will be checking the underling's genitals rather than the wealth-backed gurumas'.  Fuckass libshits will frame this as a colonial individualism (trans) versus traditional collective (hijra) issue, rather than a non-feudal identity versus feudal identity or non-labor-exploitative versus labor-exploitative  issue.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* When invisibility and safe space queer people as their life-support embrace: queers who are inherently visible are seen by them as life-threat, risible, deserving of condemnation, scorn, fear. To preserve their cherished “safety” so dear. Lest the masses be reminded that they do indeed exist, much to their dismay. Thus: the girly faggot, the manly dyke, Also the tranny- they come to dislike. And thus they blame their oppression onto those wretches, ones who suffer the most too. That's how we cannibalize each other. And that's the way how brother kills brother.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* More queers in Bangladesh have died from lack of systemic legal recognition and the lack of civil rights than they have died from hate crimes for advocating for their civil rights.   Queers die from hate crimes in countries with lgbt friendly laws too. The only difference is Bangladeshis use the deaths of Xulhaz and his partner as the unending sob story and scareshow instead of keeping on fighting. Do I come across as crass? Do I seem disrespectful to the weight of their deaths? Because their deaths have already been made weightless by people who used it as an excuse to give up the fight.  Anyway Bangladeshi lgbts who seek to apply for asylum abroad  probably have a vested interest in keeping the country's anti-lgbt laws unchanged, just saying.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* The problem with queer people is that a lot of them think they're an inherently liberated people.   It’s the notion that queerphobia exists simply as a tool to keep women in their station under patriarchy rather than something that exists to directly exploit queers and keep queers in their station as well. For queers to acknowledge that society has a station for them is to accept that they're not free agents and it scares them. They would prefer imagining that the brothels or the underworld network they inhabit is somehow separated from the status quo, but they're part of the status quo, that is your station. You're not free by choosing not to be in a family, by choosing not to be in a heterosexual relationship. Even the nature of your homosexual relationship is dictated by capital. When you're taking the role of a sugar baby, when you're being a prostitute or concubine, when you're visibly queer but your partner keeps you secret and it reduces your chances of survival — that's all dictated by capital. It's not a coincidence, you don't belong to a parallel power, the underground network isn’t parallel power, your relationships are not a product of a parallel structure, it's part of state and capital, you're not a destabilizing force just by existing, you're still a part of this structure.    Your continuous life or mere existence if you're lgbt actually IS NOT a middle finger to the status quo in itself. People say existence is resistance as a fucking cope to compensate for their impotency.  Because the ruling class only acts like they want you dead.   They actually don't.   They want instead for you to suffer perpetually.   They want you to exist, but barely, beneath their feet in the social hierarchy, so they can feel like they're above someone else. So they can feel like they're better, so they can continue to exploit you.  If your whole community died, if all the marginalized people died, these people wouldn’t know what to do with themselves, they would have to create  divides within themselves just to stand on the top of someone else.  Your mere existence, such is why, is not revolutionary in itself— until you start doing activities that can directly destabilize their foothold on the pyramid of social hierarchies. 
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Nothing incurs more  disgust and loathing in me more than the term &quot;safe space&quot;— be it for race, religion, women or lgbts.   Ritualized and institutionalized cowardice and performative fragility.  Fascism comes  to Bangladesh under the guise of creating safe spaces.  There is no greater  joke for Bangladeshi lgbt peoplSpaces   the phrase &quot;safe space&quot;. You can have no safe space in a nation which laws criminalize you, disallows you from having marriage or civil union rights, disallows your loved one the consent to put you on life support or bury you. Safe space is then a boiling water at best which cooks you and you can not tell because the flames are out of your sight.  The only real safety is in the weapon of your hand.  You must reject the illusion of safe spaces. You must reject incremental change. It has to be accelerationism on either direction.  It's a fucking joke seeing cowardly senior lgbt leaders unironically trying to fearmonger against the idea of  lgbts coming out of the closet and demanding legal rights despite knowing how many lgbt people closeted and out of closet were out there in the streets during July already acquainted with the bloodbath and now don't even have any future social or legal  security  to mentally recover from it or find a sense of normalcy through a domestic life that their straight and cis counterparts have and thus have no reason to fear loss of life or violence.   I have stood against people  with guns and bombs, what fear do I have against blades?  What do I have to look forward to — other than either domesticity or death?  &quot;Safe spaces&quot; for liberals to hang out in without any specific goals give them an inert impotent private outlet for their energy that could've been better utilized in disruptive public actions. Due to conservative aggression and taboos they operate on pure superego in public, and in safe spaces as compensation, they revert to pure id. In either spaces their ego is unutilized. As a result, because safe spaces are always compromised, they end up looking that much like clowns when they're exposed in public. Safe spaces are the fascism's carrot to fascism's stick.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Hope can be a shitty thing sometimes. When you're getting kicked in the belly, sometimes it can stop you from hitting back the person kicking you in the hope your passivity will arouse a sense of sympathy in them and make them stop. That hope is the other side of the fear that hitting the person hitting you will make them hit you more. People talk about crippling dread, but hope can be crippling too. There is the sort of despair that snuffs out all your energy and leaves you a living corpse and there is the type that motivates you into action with the intent of going down swinging. Can't escape despair as much as choose which kind to give yourself into.   People talk about how the state of the world should &quot;radicalize your rather than lead you to despair&quot; but you can't get radicalized without being chin deep in despair, honestly. The kind of change the world needs right now can only be brought in by a mass movement of suicidal and desperate working class people ready to go down swinging. But we're all dreaming that things might get better. And we won't do the things that need to be done until we give up on that dream. Until we start to truly, properly despair.  
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Genocides against queers can never be permanent —but only perpetual— because we don't repopulate like ethnic minorities from ancestors to descendants. Unfortunately this also means we will never have a permanent diaspora. You can't ever move all the queers abroad to a comparatively safe zone or whatever because they will just repopulate the next generation.   So the only possible option to leave a better world for the future is improving the ground where you stand on. Because you'll never be able to take all your people away. You will never be Moses. All your people will become enslaved once more, the Pharaoh can never let them go. And so you must kill the Pharaoh.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* The other day this  guy in a seminar  was talking about some &quot;Oh the lgbt culture in America was more radical before they got their rights&quot;. Were they? Were they? Rich powerful wankers like fucking FBI head J Edgar Hoover and conservative cuck Roy Cohn were bruising the innards of male survival sex workers in secret orgies back then. What, are you gonna pretend abusive rich paypigs aren’t a fundamental part of queer culture when not having rights are forcing our kids into the streets?  And you’ve had  armed trannies and gays wearing soviet hats organizing the streets  now and even the past two decades there.  We're just fucking people dude. We'll be shitty people and good people with or without rights — just the lives of lower class ones would be somewhat fucking easier. And we see now too don't we? Awami League has as many queer supporters as fucking Maoist groups have queer people in them. So what the fuck are you talking about, what the fuck homonationalist crap theories are you waving in front of my face? Fuck your theory.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* I've gone at length in my manifesto  about how the denial of lgbt marriage rights is killing and putting  lgbt people on an early  grave systemically. So when our legal rights would require no state funds to be wasted, why are we denied it?  Liberals posit that our issues are secondary to anti-imperialism, socialism, feminism and macroeconomics in general —often portraying us as an obstacle to these things even. They condemn the NGO queers, but they never empower the voices of the non-NGO queers. They condemn BAL queers, but never embolden the voices of the queers who fought in the streets in July, supported it intellectually and in the background with resources. They claim queers must remain silent until patriarchy is destroyed and women are at equal standing with men and make no progress in feminism either beyond shallow wins. They claim that  queer rights are impossible in a poor country and that queers are all rich while poor queers bear the double burden of class and queerphobia.    So the question comes— decades of lgbts prostituting away and dying —and have you managed to make a dent on the American empire? Has socialism been established in your country?  Has feminism made strides? Has the economy been bolstered in the absence of lgbt rights as we died like dogs?  So, their opposition to queer rights is obviously not rational. And in this irrationality do we find their faith — that if they systemically lavish onto enough of us passive deaths that their cause will be bolstered. As if we are the human sacrifices to the gods of Feminism, Socialism, Economy  and Anti-imperialism.  No, this is a fine view to have. I'm not critiquing it, merely describing it. So why are their gods not listening to their prayers? I posit this is because queer lives cut short by systemic denial has cheapened our blood and flesh so much that we hold no longer any value as human sacrifices. My suggestion to these leftists and liberals would then be to sacrifice their own family members and children to this cause.   Be Agamemnon. Be victorious. And may the knives of the Clytemnestras spare ye.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* In times of economical instability, war, disaster or famine— if a particular community in a war-affected society stops being a concern, if oppressing  that particular community by the majority of that society starts becoming fine, if killing its people starts being fine because there are bigger problems, because the majority killing the minority are themselves under threat from a different global superpower — then that minority community was never not killable.  Liberals frame lgbt marriage rights as utopian, as a luxury item. Lgbts can fight for legal marriage recognition only after all other problems in the world have been solved according to liberals. Even though the lack of it systemically kills us, even though granting it to us would require spending not a single penny of state funds. And this frames lgbt lives as killable in any context other than an utopia. Because in any context other than an utopia our lives are worthless.   The conservatives who want to kill lgbt people both when the economy is unstable and even when the economy is stable are more honest  about it. Because their hatred is unconditional. Meanwhile the liberals' allyship is conditional. And unconditional hate is superior to conditional care.  There is only gleeful butchering and unambiguous  solidarity. And either is fine. But the devil's work is what it is done in the middle of that spectrum.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* &quot;We should care more about changing social values first instead of changing laws that could help the marginalized!&quot;  My brother in folly, the only reason you continue to walk on god's green earth is because I want to avoid the legal consequences of killing you with hammers rather than any socially installed values of empathy for people like you.  Bangladeshi liberals exhaust me because they identify  a problem like child marriage and proceed to say shit like &quot;changing laws has no point, we must dismantle the ideology&quot;.  No one is going to hear you preach to them. It's not a matter of simple ideology. If a poor family has the option to legally sell their children to a rich man, they will sell their children to a rich man. You need to ban child marriage to make it harder for them to do it. There will still be children slipping through the cracks in the safety net, but your goal is tightening the net, and making sure there's a safety net preventing the marriage at all. You can't simply vaguely gasture at a &quot;dismantling of ideology&quot; one day without taking the most obvious step first. This is a meaningless exercise. We can't stop all of the child marriages but we can stop at least a huge portion of them and we won't take the steps necessary for even that because we have fucking cucked ourselves into uttering buzzwords and phrases like &quot;changing social values is more important than changing laws&quot; without ever actually going anywhere.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
** In my opinion, one does not truly believe in a cause if one is not prepared to die for it. I'm willing to and have prepared myself to eventually be killed for being lgbt. Most people who want to deny trans people transition facilities, legal recognition or lgbt people the marriage rights are not prepared to die for the cause of denying those things to us, because after all these things don't really directly impact them much. Nonetheless— their belief-less efforts for lgbtphobic causes, often originating from having the same acceptable opinion as the next person, often originating from an attempt to fit in - manages to cause harm due to the majority of their numbers. This is the most depressing aspect of lgbtphobia, a dispassionate disregard is enough to deny you a family of your own. Hence the dispassionate disregard of the upper middle class and rich must be turned into something else. It must be turned into fear.  In fact, since I'm trying my best to get killed, if i end up succeeding in finding death, do not present any rhetorics that ask people to sympathize with me, that'd not jive with my edgelord extremist era. Acknowledge that I've made my decisions in sound mind and move on. I make no appeals to the humanity of inhumans.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* It's not about whether my existence is ethical, it's not about whether I deserve to exist, it's not about whether religion or science justifies my existence— but that I do exist — and I do seek legal recognition for my marriage  and  for my decriminalization — and if I can not have it I will destroy everything, and that you can not destroy me in any meaningful way because lgbt people will reappear in your homes the next generation and they will follow my example of destruction, and you cannot have peace and security without granting it to us.  I lose members of my community to passive systemic violence that results in their demise in lonely  deathbeds left unattended by their closeted partners too scared to come out. It's a mad unjust world and the only sane course of action is to return it with the same unjust madness and disregard for innocent lives it has bestowed on my people. The liberals don't give a shit about us and the leftists see our plight as culture war and the climate change will kill us all in two decades and I can't, in the last few years of my life left to me, after all the violence, after all the fights I fought for this country in July, the life risks I took — I can't even experience a moment of sunset with a husband, sit with him in a park for a picnic, hold his hand in public, rest my head on his shoulder— while the libleft cunts tell me marriage doesn't matter and legalization doesn’t matter while they themselves marry and the leftist dickless spineless gutless worms call the lgbt community consumerist or bourgeoise or colonizers of western hegemony — as the feminists act like trans women were part of patriarchy before transitioning as if we weren't put through psychological, physical  and sexual torture since childhood for acting feminine when the concepts of masculinity and femininity weren't even distinct to us and thus it is acceptable to mock and deride us as long as done from a feminist talking point —  and there is no political organized fight for my kin— why would I not be angry? My anger or madness is not irrational, it's the state of mind I logically  decided to arrive on. I trained myself to think of physical pain as a mere emotion that can be not  felt in order to deal with the pain of beatings and stone-peltings and other forms of physical abuse. I am an extremely controlled individual.  I do not feel anything that I do not want to feel, I do not think anything that I do not want to think, I have decided under cold consideration, that having left no peaceful methods of furthering or acquiring rights for this people, the only option left is violence and death.  We are an endless horde. If we are to be monsters before committing you harm, then we shall be monsters afterwards. If we are marked as the destroyers of your civilization as your civilization crushes us — then we shall fulfill your accusing prophecy.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* What I contend with is the burden of agency. The  despair in knowing things are not hopeless. I can not say &quot;I must be closeted&quot; or &quot;legal queer rights in Bangladesh are not possible&quot; because I know these things to be false. I know possible are all things that we make them to be. I can not find solace in hopelessness. I can not say &quot;there was nothing I could've done&quot; or &quot;this was beyond my hands&quot; because I know these things to be lies that the powerful also say.  If I was murdered or arrested/vanished, my agency properly robbed and I was made truly helpless and incapable of making change— then I could find in my inability to make change some semblance of peace. The self-allowance for rest.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury</text>
      <sha1>9c8iam57ruq9m6znamypq8iltv8rnaz</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944087</id>
      <parentid>3944085</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T23:42:19Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-28023-76</username>
        <id>3317389</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944087</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="58404" sha1="m1nvysniz633ajgw3bwepe3is4h5r7o" xml:space="preserve">[[wikipedia:Sahara_Chowdhury|Sahara Chowdhury]] (born 2002) is a prominent Bangladeshi transgender July Uprising activist and student who gained national attention for her advocacy for LGBTQ+ rights and authoring the Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto.
== Quotes ==
*For right wingers and moderates, the way the current social system funnels lgbts into coerced prostitution and sexual slavery is not social degeneracy and nor a strike on a sensitive issue— but  the marriage rights of lgbt people is social degeneracy and a strike on a sensitive issue, because their purpose and their  goal is precisely to keep relationships that do not produce children relegated purely within the domain of exploitative prostitution and temporary flings rather than long term families. Before elaborating on this idea one must point out that all capitalists who benefit from capitalism may not consciously understand that they are stealing the surplus value of labor from the workers. So when we speak of the purpose behind anti-LGBT rhetoric, the question will arise: “Do you really think all homophobes and transphobes calculated all of this? That they carry around this nefarious scheme?” And the answer is the same as it is with capitalists: even if they don’t understand the intricacies of the oppressive system they're benefitting from by exploiting people, their  perpetuation of that  system still makes them complicit in its injustice. So we arrive at the question: what is the purpose of homophobia and transphobia? There is, of course, the general purpose of all bigotry, to make society as hierarchical as possible so that the working person feels a semblance of control and power by imagining other working class people in a social station beneath him and comes to view his own station beneath capitalists  as only a natural product of the world.  To make exploitation of the labor of the lower class minority identities easier, such as the enslavement of black people. Or the wage gap between cis women and cis men, and lower yet wages for trans men and trans women. The purpose of bigotry mostly is not genocide, it is exploitation and slavery. And then there is the matter of forcing and coercing population increase, women are after all, womb machines to capitalists to create future workers and soldiers. The job market must be flooded and the supply of workers must exceed the capitalists’ demand that the wage equilibrium reaches ever lower and thus more profit is generated for the capitalists. Thus the infertile cis women are treated with a violence and disregard almost nearing that of society's treatment of transgender women — for neither can give birth. And thus domestic relationships that do not produce children are condemned. But of course, sexual temporary queer relationships are allowed by the system, one which people are systemically prevented from dwelling on. This is not a new phenomenon. A similar dynamic perpetuated under feudalism,  often misguidedly glorified as “tolerance.” Yes, same-sex desire was sometimes tolerated but only so under a brutal condition: you had to marry heterosexually and produce legitimate heirs, especially if you had laid claim to divine blood to justify kingship. Your queer desires could be indulged in only with disposable prostitutes and concubines who held no legal or social claim. Hijra people, sometimes celebrated as tax collectors, were in a position akin to Jewish bankers in medieval Europe, funneled into a tokenized  role.  It was not acceptance, it was ghettoization. This historical arrangement is similar to the  status quo we find ourselves trapped in today, where married closeted politicians and businessmen lead double lives, who exploit lower-class LGBT  prostitutes in secret while publicly upholding the very laws that make that exploitation possible. And here, we reach our main discussion. To understand it, we must apply a simple theory from cybernetics created by Stafford Beer: “The purpose of a system is what it does.” As he stated, there is &quot;no point in claiming that the purpose of a system is to do what it constantly fails to do.” The purpose of a system is not what its creators or proponents  say it does in paper, but what it does in reality. What does the anti-LGBT system do? Does it stop the sexual activities of LGBT people? If it does, how come there is a  disproportionately large amount of LGBT prostitutes? What does denying a group of people anti-discrimination laws at educational institutions, workplace, medical institutions do? What does denying them marriage rights do? A child gets bullied for wanting to grow out its hair and look like a girl, it gets beaten by its teachers and classmates, its academic performance suffers. In a world where children are investments for the future of their parents, it is shaping up to be a sunk cost. What of marriage? Marriage is a form of investment into accessing connections, social capital and actual capital for the family. No marriage rights  for LGBT people  means no benefit to be gained from the child after it grows up on that angle too. So what happens is you pull out of bad investments. The child gets thrown out of home. The child has no access to education and thus no access to jobs. We glorify Hijra communes in our country, yes? Post-colonialists and decolonisers love to do so. The child, now homeless, goes to these hierarchical communes, and what happens when a community living in destitute, with no education nor jobs, has to resort to begging or prostitution, and prostitution pays so much more for the children? What happens when the rich men come down with money in their bags? What happens to the child? It. Gets. Raped. This, to the capitalists, is not a bug, it is the feature of the anti-LGBT system, the very purpose, to create  for them an ever-disposable supply of young flesh to abuse.  After all, these prostitutes don't make it to a very old age due to medical discrimination. They have no access to institutionally legitimized relationships, so their partner can not consent to life saving surgeries when they're unable to. They often due to the taboo perpetuated by the ruling class are kept secret from society by their partner and when they fall ill, do not even get a visit on their deathbed. And thus the older prostitutes die off to make place for the new ones. Thus keeps on eating ouroboros its tail. But worry not, true believers! Liberals will  surely destroy this material exploitation that benefits the ruling class by using cultural terms for transgender people. Surely, calling us marginalized gender instead of transgender will remove  the incentive of the ruling class to deny us legal rights! Surely, calling the child prostitute a performer or entertainer instead of a child prostitute will fix the issue they won't even acknowledge to exist there! This system has gone on since the feudalist era. Call us ghetuputro or hijra or koti or whatever you want, at the end of the day the result is the same, LGBTs get funneled into prostitution due to lack of legal rights.  I've explained in my manifesto at length how the lack of lgbt marriage rights incentivizes parents to throw out their queer children, funnels these homeless children into prostitution, how it causes lgbt relationships to be short lived and transactional, causes trans people to be abandoned by their cis partners. Causes institutional problems due to lack of relationship acknowledgement. Anyway, while gays are denied marriage rights due to not being reproductive, marriage's endgoal remains to maintain reproduction. Ideologies that are against letting homosexuals legally marry will inevitably allow child marriage and marital rape of cis girls and women and the pederasty and coerced prostitution of queers. Women are treated as reproductive properties. Due to this, rape is less a violation of the victim's body and more a trespassing onto the father's or the husband's property. Under this mindset, marital rape can not exist because the husband is the property owner and cannot trespass his own property, child marriage is acceptable as long as the child can birth babies because that's the condition of marriage being fulfilled. And because un-reproductive bodies are not marriageable, the femboys and trans women become un-rape-able even when they're funneled into prostitution as children and violated and penetrated against consent. By maintaining medical discrimination the ruling class ensures the early deaths of these prostitutes to keep the supply of flesh forever young and maintain the lack of life long formation of attachments. While the first world legalizes Igbt marriage, it utilizes NGOs and liberal intellectuals in the third world to argue against Igbt marriage rights due to depending on the labor of third worlds. As well as incentivizing third world queers to acquiesce to getting human trafficked by sex trafficking rings to first world countries hoping for freedom from bigotry. &quot;But won't homosexual marriage rights reinforce the patriarchal institution of marriage?&quot; I'm glad you asked! But no, it won't. Marriage is patriarchal due to it being designed as a ritual of reproduction. Reproduction legitimizes child marriage as long as the child bride gives birth. It legitimizes marital rape. Because gay relationships do not reproduce, marriage which for lgbts would be a ritual of social acknowledgement- actually subverts patriarchal values. Whereas without marriage, in secrecy lgbt relationships affirm patriarchal assignment of queers within the realm of secret hookups and prostitution. Saying marriage  is capitalistic and patriarchal so gays shouldn’t get marriage rights is like saying &quot;the state exists to protect capital so socialists shouldn’t want a socialist state&quot;. You people are dumbfucks. The reason the lgbt issue can't be fixed with a similar approach to cis people's issue is because cis people are not mostly comprised of prostitutes and clients, and lgbt people are mostly comprised of prostitutes and clients. So while &quot;most reported sexual violence comes from the family members&quot; applies to cis people, it wouldn’t apply to lgbt people whose suffered violence is coming on a great level from pimps and clients who view them as lesser than family — as well as the abuse of prostitutes generally being underreported and when reported under-documented. Liberals will see all of this, and they'll say &quot;Well, how about you teach parents not to throw their queer children out and teach queers to not abandon their partners&quot;. In this, they forego critique of  problems created by policies and laws to offer individualist solutions. Instead of changing the policies that cause this. Change the individual they say, because systems are just by individuals, and they ignore mentioning which class of individuals make these rules and laws. Which class of individuals with proclivity to be rapists and pederasts enjoy the benefits of homeless queer children desperate for money. And this is why I don't have any option but violence, because the liberals refuse to be honest. John F. Kennedy was an evil man who committed genocide on communists. But he, in his self-awareness, understood one thing: “Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.” Whenever feminists mention that women are 50% of the population, they're really making an appeal to utilitarianism for women's rights. Which is fine and well. Minorities, of course, failing to rely on such a percentage, for their rights need to make a different sort of appeal to utilitarianism. The one in which utilitarianism needs to bend to their needs  not out of the whims  of the majority but rather for the safety of the majority, which must be jeopardised by the minority  until the attainment of such goals.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* When in Western countries LGBT people have rights and non-Western countries’ LGBT population demands rights, then we are told, “LGBTs are Western culture,” and when the West takes away the rights of their LGBT communities, we are told, “Even the West doesn’t have LGBT rights, how can it be in Bangladesh?” It is their thought process that is centred around the Western ruling class, not my thought process. Free, free Palestine. Death to America. Death to Israel. The Western ruling class used to segregate black and white people 60 years ago, and enslaved them 200 years ago. Black people earned their rights through struggle and blood. So would any dumbass claim black civil rights is “western hegemony”? So the LGBT rights for which Harvey Milk was murdered, Marsha Johnson and Sylvie Rivera gave their lives for — why is it called western hegemony? Western right-wingers call our rights “cultural marxism,” and certain intellectuals in our country call our rights “ western hegemony”— that’s the extent of their cultural hegemony. Gramsci had mentioned hegemony in relation to the ruling class, as I care not for Western hegemony — neither do I respect Bengali feudalistic theocratic hegemony. Some even call our marriage rights “heteronormative”, which is like calling black people’s rights to vote “whitero-normative”.
** [https://bdfeministarchives.org/2025/08/23/press-conference-statement-of-sahara-chowdhury/ Press Conference Statement of Sahara Chowdhury]
* Reiterating my point once more, there has been a recent research that found the right wing conservative American states with the most amount of anti-transgender laws also have the most amount of searches for transgender pornography.     A lot of people found this funny or hypocritical. But really, there is no hypocrisy in this. What is the consequence of anti-transgender laws? The transgender kids get thrown out of home, they can't access education without bullying, they can't get jobs. What's the consequence of that? They turn to prostitution, becoming porn actors, and concubinism. So really, conservatives are simply maintaining their supply chain of vulnerable trans people to abuse. The purpose of a system is what it does, and this is the system they've built.     Like I always say, right wingers don't want to eradicate trans people completely, just like they don't want to eradicate cis women or black people. They want trans people in the lower station in the pyramid of hierarchy. They want trans people to live as sex objects without any legal recognition of marriage or institutional recognition and die after being abused and exploited. Eradicating cis women, black people, and trans people would mean right wingers can not exploit them any longer, right wingers just want to deny them legal rights to keep exploiting them. And that's worse. 
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* It's interesting that like conservatives, liberals too maintain a social hierarchy. Whereas conservatives' social hierarchy is based on who deserves more oppression, the liberal's social hierarchy is based on who deserves more liberation. They cite how &quot;even women don't have all the rights&quot; whenever lgbt rights are brought up. A pyramid of hierarchy for liberals.   At which point in the hierarchy do queers reside? There are always bigger issues than our plight before solving which our rights are impossible to acquire so surely this implies a laundry list. Imagine if American liberals began listing off how women — half the population of America — didn’t have all the rights every time the Black people fought for their rights in the civil rights era because after all, black people were merely 10 percent of the population while ignoring the existence of black women. Liberals' approach to lgbt people is for us to assume the role of an unseemly but non-malignant tumor on the body of society rather than being an actual organ. But at the end, non-malignant tumors are cut off just to maintain aesthetics.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Do you know why charities and ngos, even when people at the top weren’t swindling the money for themselves — never substantially improved transgender lives? In the context of Bangladesh where most trans people are funneled into slums and ghettos without marriage rights as prostitutes denied family having to rely on each other to survive? A vulnerable community specifically isolated into a patch of housing environment? Let's say you're a slum lord. And these trans people suddenly get money from charities. You as a slum landlord are not going to let them spend it on themselves. You're going to raise the fucking rent. And it's easy for you to raise the rent specifically for trans people rather than both trans and cis people because the trans people are all huddled into the same living environment.  So you see how it is? A community gets specifically targeted charity but it doesn’t do jack because the community is isolated and converged into the same space rather than being allowed to assimilate into society through institutions like marriage. And so the transgender  whore still ends up having to sell its body for rent and food, because the house always wins.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Are you familiar with the concept of endless war, son? the defining characteristics are:    1) Unclear objectives: goals are vague (as in &quot;defeating terrorism&quot;) rather than specific measurable targets.    2) Inability to win: a lack of capacity to achieve stated aims, yet no risk of outright defeat. 3) Lack of exit strategy: no defined endpoint or plan for withdrawal.    4) Protracted nature: lasts for years or decades with ongoing low-intensity engagement.    Endless wars are by design endless and exist to generate profit for capitalists through perpetual conflict. Often we've seen how the enemy fought by the imperialistic American military is funded by American government itself. Terrorists are not even their enemies but simple playmates. Now scale these geopolitical conflicts down. Think about how NGO queer leaders work in Bangladesh.     1) They have no objectives, their goal is never to win any legal rights or changing policies.   2) They themselves are defeatist and always act like they're on the losing side and yet not perish, they can not win and nor can they lose.   3) They have no goals such as achieving any laws or queer marriage rights and as such they lack an endpoint.   4) Due to this, aimlessly they work on keeping the lower class queer population hooked on drip-fed charity, their tactics are low intensity to the point of refusing to even use words like gay or transgender while working for these people. NGOs are leading an endless conflict with queer lives. they have no plan for achieving marriage rights or any other rights. Their goal is. Endless. Conflict. Without an end. To secure funding. These institutions can't end the injustices they claim to fight because resolving those injustices would make them extinct.  They oppose marriage rights because it is a goal. They cannot have a goal. They can only gesture vaguely at &quot;basic rights&quot; whenever legal marriage rights are brought up. They cannot let you have peace much like war profiteers because your misery is what feeds them. The conservatives are not even their enemies, but simple playmates.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Let's talk about how shallow anticonsumerism rhetoric gets used against marginalized communities. Now,  let me preface this saying: images of socialist  icons such as Che Guevara are mass produced on merchandises in sweatshops, Soviet Union hats are mass produced and sold in sweatshops— does that mean socialism is inherently a bourgeoisie ideology? Obviously, no, even an idiot knows that. Capitalism subsumes all aesthetics and symbols. This is known. Religious artifacts are mass produced too. Now are all muslims inherently consumerists and bourgeoisie because corporations mass produce products with stars and crescents and ottoman aesthetics and some muslims buy them? Obviously, no, once again! But then, some intellectual morons accuse the lgbt community of being consumerist soft-capitalists (a meaningless term) because sweatshops produce rainbow flags too and some lgbt people buy these mass produced merchandise. They claim they are not against men fucking men but they're against the various “lgbt labels”, because they claim the labels were invented to sell products targeted to these identities, which again is a moronic fucking claim. No, the labels needed to exist because an oppressed group of people who deal with intense illegalization and denial of rights (often even denied from participation in modes of production to even be considered part of the proletariat and thus forced to be lumpen prostitutes and criminals left historically ignored in socialist nations)  need a shared identity to build solidarity for each other. Of course capitalism capitalizes on the identity of the homosexual and transgender, it capitalizes on all fucking identities, this does not mean people of these identities thus become “bourgeoise” or that even most people of these identities even buy such merchandise. So to say that a community is bourgeoisie when most of them are poor and they're killed not only in the global south but also in the west is an inhumane fucking thing to do.   Let's about transsexuals. Trans people who takes hormones to ease their sense of dysphoria is condemned by these scholarly fuckturds for being “consumerist”, some point out various injustices in the creation of hormonal medicines to condemn it altogether and declare it unnatural. Motherfucker everything from polio vaccines to abortion to the understanding of anatomy has dark histories of abused marginalized people in them. Does this mean you'll reject these technologies that have already been developed? Do you reject medicines for the cold or glasses for  your eyes because blind people didn't have access to this technology before and thus it's unnatural to use it now? Secondly, there are trans people, chemists or people with chemical knowledge,  who produce their own hormones without buying from corporations. Tell me, are you fine with hormones created without corporate ties or do you think those trans people are “brainwashed” by the “big pharma” as well to sell more “products” and thus are deserving of condemnation? Are you against state produced estrogen and testosterone in socialist nations like Cuba that are beginning to stop fucking over trannies too? Or do you think trannies in socialist countries are brainwashed by the big pharma too? The funniest thing about traditionalists who are pro-natalists trying to frame transgender people as corporate-invention consumers of medicines is that you can frame those cishets as corporate-invention consoomers who are making the act of  creating babies a huge part of their identity and in the process are tricked into consoooming more and more resources and are tricked into spending  money to uh buy things. Its bullshit, just like framing trans people as slaves of consumer culture  is bullshit. But two can play at that game.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Those self-identified &quot;queer grassroot leaders&quot; calling for restrain and secrecy in lgbt activism and decrying people speaking out without consulting them— or general intellectual/politician horde, often identifying themselves  as leftists , do not apply actual proper class analysis but remain stuck in playing a form of identity politics.     For them, owning private property  is not an signifier of class but rather aesthetics are— the openly queer people attempting open nonsecret bold activism become &quot;privileged&quot; not due to ownership of private property  or by exploiting others' labor but due to the social conventions they break — due to contradicting these people  or being rude to them. Openly queer people are assumed to be rich and thus above the law by them — rather than being openly queer because they have nothing to lose.   Class reductionism done right is better than the form of identity politics which they play.  In Spivak's essay she asked &quot;can the subaltern speak&quot; and Bangladeshi leftists have turned it into an assertive sentence — the subaltern can not speak— and thus anyone who speaks is not qualified as a subaltern. Openly queer people advocating for legal rights  are framed as &quot;privileged&quot; and &quot;doing more harm than good&quot; for the queer  collective. Anyone breaking social conventions are framed as individualists and since asking for lgbt rights is breaking social conventions, thus the queer activists are individualists and individualism is a very very very no good bad bad word, saar. However, the downlow queer activists or leaders who call for secrecy and restrain are not promoting active collectivism. They're promoting passive collectivism, passive collectivism which  seeks to not make waves but help individuals within the community through charity and access to resources. Which ironically enough can be called a form of individualism itself — queer  individuals are getting help through charity— but the system that denies them legal rights collectively is not confronted. For the bourgeoisie, the hierarchy-based society is what grants them power and privilege — and for the proletariat, the hierarchy is the cause of their suffering. Herein lies the contradiction of bourgeois charity — if the goal of charity is to alleviate suffering, then charity must dismantle the hierarchy rather than reinforce it — but that would require the bourgeoisie to act against their class interest — thus bourgeois charity is self-contradictory and can never alleviate suffering in any meaningful way but only exist to reinforce the status quo by being a tool of dominance-assertion for the ruling class which simultaneously frames them as “good people”. And thus passive collectivism is a form of individualism. I could try to argue that I am  attempting to mobilisea the community toward collective action as an individual  and that even if my actions end up hurting the collective as it always does when lgbt controversy goes viral — that in the long term it will do more good by alleviating systemic oppression and the queer activists now are thinking of short term &quot;good&quot;. But that would be rebutted with a simple &quot;ah but you will fail to change legal policies, and so there will only be short term harm without long term good&quot;.  In this case, I would not have any particular argument to provide in order to moralize my actions.  And thus I would simply accept accusations of amorality and  privilege as a part of what I am and what I do. I will simply identify myself as a knowingly harmful privileged element. The question is what's next? What can you sniveling fuckwads do after that — beyond having me arrested or killing me? I accept death. I have walked into places as bombs were being thrown. I have walked toward gunfires with nothing but bricks in my hands. I have been beaten and raped as a joke. What can you do to me that has not been done? Mine is the privilege of being Death incarnate. I moralize none of my actions— I ask no pity for what might happen to me. I preach violence for the sake of violence— conflict for the sake of conflict— whether it's sustainable or effective does not matter to me. My complete agency and its negative consequences I fully accept. Cower before my omnipotence and repent.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* The problem that is happening now is that these fringe political groups are framing themselves as ordinary people. They are not ordinary people. The ordinary people were here all day. They did nothing. They are not against us. If they make any public statement against us, it will be because of pressure from those political parties — because they have to live here. If they go against the political party, the party has state power. The party will come and demolish their stalls. So the point is that ordinary people are not against us. I was interacting with ordinary people all day. Ordinary people did nothing. The ones who are against us are a few lifeless, subhuman people, people like animals. Their job is to establish fascism. And the fact that they have started this recently — they got this from the West too. In the West as well, there wasn’t much major opposition to transgender people for a long time. After 2016, Ben Shapiro, Michael Walsh — these kinds of Zionists, these Israel-supporting people — started speaking against transgender people. Meanwhile we can see that transgender and gay people in Western countries have united and stood against their aggression, spoken against their imperialism, worked against Israel’s genocide of Palestinian people. There is Queer for Palestine. There are many groups like this. These people in the West carry on their work. But here in Bangladesh, right-wingers like Sarwar Hossain (Sorowar Hossain) — when Trump speaks against transgender people, when Michael Walsh speaks against transgender people, when their driving forces speak against transgender people, they don’t notice that these same people defend Israel. These same people carry out genocide in Palestine, carry out genocide in UNRWA. Then they take the side of these genocidal imperialists and say — &quot;well, since they speak against transgender people, they must be good.&quot;
** [https://zahranesque.substack.com/p/how-the-right-wing-decides-who-counts How the Right-Wing Decides Who Counts as Intersex, Trans, or Gay]
* Politicians (like Sarjis Alam) often present &quot;conversion therapy&quot; as an answer to lgbt people. This of course is to sate rich parents who worry their children might be lgbt and as a result suffer bigotry. Conversion therapy will of course only be accessible to the rich. Poor people won't be able to afford institutionally torturing their children under guise of therapy. So in the present dynamic in which lower class visibly queer lgbts are funneled into prostitution and rich people who are closeted exploit them — conversion therapy acts as a course correction or safeguard for lgbt people born to rich parents who may rebel against this social dynamic in their youth and come out of closet. Thus conversion &quot;therapy&quot; is used to torture them until they agree to get back to closet and dance to the tune of status quo and be one of those miserable closeted cishet-married middle aged people cheating on their partner— and this therapy/torture is a social symbol of repentance/redemption from their &quot;temporary corruption by the lgbt agenda&quot;. Thus conversion therapy is offered to rich parents as an alternative to lgbt rights, and it appeals to them because civil rights for lgbts would apply to all classes — meanwhile  conversion therapy  is an exclusive &quot;solution&quot; to the rich. 
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* On a class interest level, the hijra underling and the transgender are not opponents— but the hijra guruma and the transgender are in class conflict and are opponents.   Transgenderism introduces an idea of gender deviancy in this region that does not require submission to an authority or leadership figure like the guruma.   Because the guruma exploits the underling's money from begging and selling them into sexual contracts (with the client base often extending to India), on an existential level the idea of gender-deviants not flocking together and instead  trying to establish  their legal rights/ability to perpetuate life  outside the hijra system is a threat to gurumas' labor capital. [This does not mean transgenderism without trans rights would end trans people's funneling toward sex work, it would simply either 1) make them their own solicitor or more likely 2) make a pimp who is not the guruma the solicitor, which nonetheless destabilizes their power]   Of course there are &quot;good&quot; gurumas, as there are feudal lords who maybe personally a &quot;good&quot; person, but on a systemic level the hijra caste is not sustainable in a way that does not leave the underlings traumatized and exploited. And people who can not think systemically and are hooked on addlepated  micro-narratives will be offended at the suggestion.  Whereas the Awami League constitutional  framing of hijra as an &quot;intersex&quot; identity is ahistorical and many hijra guruma want a form of legal recognition that recognizes it as an identity adjacent profession (in simpler term a caste and their goal being to legally perpetuate this caste due to their benefit incentive), the transgender identity if legally recognized would be so outside this caste system.  The hijra legal recognition right now does not really fully benefit even the gurumas as it limits the definition to &quot;intersex&quot; (and only the ones whose genitalia are variant, not the chromosomal or hormone variant ones) so on a legal basis  most of them are not covered by it, although the gurumas can still use this to control their commune members by reporting to cops of the ones trying to leave the hijra system without forsaking their gender presentation as &quot;fake hijras&quot;, which the legal definition of hijras as intersex would get the hypothetical underling in trouble cause the cops will be checking the underling's genitals rather than the wealth-backed gurumas'.  Fuckass libshits will frame this as a colonial individualism (trans) versus traditional collective (hijra) issue, rather than a non-feudal identity versus feudal identity or non-labor-exploitative versus labor-exploitative  issue.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* When invisibility and safe space queer people as their life-support embrace: queers who are inherently visible are seen by them as life-threat, risible, deserving of condemnation, scorn, fear. To preserve their cherished “safety” so dear. Lest the masses be reminded that they do indeed exist, much to their dismay. Thus: the girly faggot, the manly dyke, Also the tranny- they come to dislike. And thus they blame their oppression onto those wretches, ones who suffer the most too. That's how we cannibalize each other. And that's the way how brother kills brother.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* There are ones who view trans women as predatory men, and ones who view trans women as privileged past men who lost their privilege and &quot;became&quot; something closer to women.   Transphobia  is viewed by them as a byproduct of misogyny seeking to subjugate wombyns rather than its own construct used to specifically subjugate and exploit trans people.   Thus transitioning and all the violence trans people face associated with transitioning is not for trans people to own but for wombyns to own. This is a framing almost of a criminal who has been captured and disgraced, is to be pitied now for that disgrace, but there may still be in him the qualities that drove him to banditry.   The reason I say I'm gay man now is because they view gay men as having power over women and being male privileged. And it is better to be viewed as possessing  of more power than less, because the liberals' approach to marginalized communities is not to allocate power, but to remind them that they're powerless and should bow and kneel in accordance.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Liberals preach on about their empathy, they've turned empathy into a weapon — not against oppressors but against the oppressed. Their opposition to homophobia and transphobia is a controlled opposition. They will say you too deserve empathy, that you too are human, that they feel sorrow at your plight — but they're the vultures of sorrow. Their sorrow exists only to assert their humanity, but does not transmute into legal change. Their intention is not legal change nor doing any actual improvement beyond charity for lgbt people— it is to maintain the conditions which creates the necessity for charity. Their empathy is a jackboot.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* More queers in Bangladesh have died from lack of systemic legal recognition and the lack of civil rights than they have died from hate crimes for advocating for their civil rights.   Queers die from hate crimes in countries with lgbt friendly laws too. The only difference is Bangladeshis use the deaths of Xulhaz and his partner as the unending sob story and scareshow instead of keeping on fighting. Do I come across as crass? Do I seem disrespectful to the weight of their deaths? Because their deaths have already been made weightless by people who used it as an excuse to give up the fight.  Anyway Bangladeshi lgbts who seek to apply for asylum abroad  probably have a vested interest in keeping the country's anti-lgbt laws unchanged, just saying.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* The problem with queer people is that a lot of them think they're an inherently liberated people.   It’s the notion that queerphobia exists simply as a tool to keep women in their station under patriarchy rather than something that exists to directly exploit queers and keep queers in their station as well. For queers to acknowledge that society has a station for them is to accept that they're not free agents and it scares them. They would prefer imagining that the brothels or the underworld network they inhabit is somehow separated from the status quo, but they're part of the status quo, that is your station. You're not free by choosing not to be in a family, by choosing not to be in a heterosexual relationship. Even the nature of your homosexual relationship is dictated by capital. When you're taking the role of a sugar baby, when you're being a prostitute or concubine, when you're visibly queer but your partner keeps you secret and it reduces your chances of survival — that's all dictated by capital. It's not a coincidence, you don't belong to a parallel power, the underground network isn’t parallel power, your relationships are not a product of a parallel structure, it's part of state and capital, you're not a destabilizing force just by existing, you're still a part of this structure.    Your continuous life or mere existence if you're lgbt actually IS NOT a middle finger to the status quo in itself. People say existence is resistance as a fucking cope to compensate for their impotency.  Because the ruling class only acts like they want you dead.   They actually don't.   They want instead for you to suffer perpetually.   They want you to exist, but barely, beneath their feet in the social hierarchy, so they can feel like they're above someone else. So they can feel like they're better, so they can continue to exploit you.  If your whole community died, if all the marginalized people died, these people wouldn’t know what to do with themselves, they would have to create  divides within themselves just to stand on the top of someone else.  Your mere existence, such is why, is not revolutionary in itself— until you start doing activities that can directly destabilize their foothold on the pyramid of social hierarchies. 
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Nothing incurs more  disgust and loathing in me more than the term &quot;safe space&quot;— be it for race, religion, women or lgbts.   Ritualized and institutionalized cowardice and performative fragility.  Fascism comes  to Bangladesh under the guise of creating safe spaces.  There is no greater  joke for Bangladeshi lgbt peoplSpaces   the phrase &quot;safe space&quot;. You can have no safe space in a nation which laws criminalize you, disallows you from having marriage or civil union rights, disallows your loved one the consent to put you on life support or bury you. Safe space is then a boiling water at best which cooks you and you can not tell because the flames are out of your sight.  The only real safety is in the weapon of your hand.  You must reject the illusion of safe spaces. You must reject incremental change. It has to be accelerationism on either direction.  It's a fucking joke seeing cowardly senior lgbt leaders unironically trying to fearmonger against the idea of  lgbts coming out of the closet and demanding legal rights despite knowing how many lgbt people closeted and out of closet were out there in the streets during July already acquainted with the bloodbath and now don't even have any future social or legal  security  to mentally recover from it or find a sense of normalcy through a domestic life that their straight and cis counterparts have and thus have no reason to fear loss of life or violence.   I have stood against people  with guns and bombs, what fear do I have against blades?  What do I have to look forward to — other than either domesticity or death?  &quot;Safe spaces&quot; for liberals to hang out in without any specific goals give them an inert impotent private outlet for their energy that could've been better utilized in disruptive public actions. Due to conservative aggression and taboos they operate on pure superego in public, and in safe spaces as compensation, they revert to pure id. In either spaces their ego is unutilized. As a result, because safe spaces are always compromised, they end up looking that much like clowns when they're exposed in public. Safe spaces are the fascism's carrot to fascism's stick.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Hope can be a shitty thing sometimes. When you're getting kicked in the belly, sometimes it can stop you from hitting back the person kicking you in the hope your passivity will arouse a sense of sympathy in them and make them stop. That hope is the other side of the fear that hitting the person hitting you will make them hit you more. People talk about crippling dread, but hope can be crippling too. There is the sort of despair that snuffs out all your energy and leaves you a living corpse and there is the type that motivates you into action with the intent of going down swinging. Can't escape despair as much as choose which kind to give yourself into.   People talk about how the state of the world should &quot;radicalize your rather than lead you to despair&quot; but you can't get radicalized without being chin deep in despair, honestly. The kind of change the world needs right now can only be brought in by a mass movement of suicidal and desperate working class people ready to go down swinging. But we're all dreaming that things might get better. And we won't do the things that need to be done until we give up on that dream. Until we start to truly, properly despair.  
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Genocides against queers can never be permanent —but only perpetual— because we don't repopulate like ethnic minorities from ancestors to descendants. Unfortunately this also means we will never have a permanent diaspora. You can't ever move all the queers abroad to a comparatively safe zone or whatever because they will just repopulate the next generation.   So the only possible option to leave a better world for the future is improving the ground where you stand on. Because you'll never be able to take all your people away. You will never be Moses. All your people will become enslaved once more, the Pharaoh can never let them go. And so you must kill the Pharaoh.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* The other day this  guy in a seminar  was talking about some &quot;Oh the lgbt culture in America was more radical before they got their rights&quot;. Were they? Were they? Rich powerful wankers like fucking FBI head J Edgar Hoover and conservative cuck Roy Cohn were bruising the innards of male survival sex workers in secret orgies back then. What, are you gonna pretend abusive rich paypigs aren’t a fundamental part of queer culture when not having rights are forcing our kids into the streets?  And you’ve had  armed trannies and gays wearing soviet hats organizing the streets  now and even the past two decades there.  We're just fucking people dude. We'll be shitty people and good people with or without rights — just the lives of lower class ones would be somewhat fucking easier. And we see now too don't we? Awami League has as many queer supporters as fucking Maoist groups have queer people in them. So what the fuck are you talking about, what the fuck homonationalist crap theories are you waving in front of my face? Fuck your theory.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* I've gone at length in my manifesto  about how the denial of lgbt marriage rights is killing and putting  lgbt people on an early  grave systemically. So when our legal rights would require no state funds to be wasted, why are we denied it?  Liberals posit that our issues are secondary to anti-imperialism, socialism, feminism and macroeconomics in general —often portraying us as an obstacle to these things even. They condemn the NGO queers, but they never empower the voices of the non-NGO queers. They condemn BAL queers, but never embolden the voices of the queers who fought in the streets in July, supported it intellectually and in the background with resources. They claim queers must remain silent until patriarchy is destroyed and women are at equal standing with men and make no progress in feminism either beyond shallow wins. They claim that  queer rights are impossible in a poor country and that queers are all rich while poor queers bear the double burden of class and queerphobia.    So the question comes— decades of lgbts prostituting away and dying —and have you managed to make a dent on the American empire? Has socialism been established in your country?  Has feminism made strides? Has the economy been bolstered in the absence of lgbt rights as we died like dogs?  So, their opposition to queer rights is obviously not rational. And in this irrationality do we find their faith — that if they systemically lavish onto enough of us passive deaths that their cause will be bolstered. As if we are the human sacrifices to the gods of Feminism, Socialism, Economy  and Anti-imperialism.  No, this is a fine view to have. I'm not critiquing it, merely describing it. So why are their gods not listening to their prayers? I posit this is because queer lives cut short by systemic denial has cheapened our blood and flesh so much that we hold no longer any value as human sacrifices. My suggestion to these leftists and liberals would then be to sacrifice their own family members and children to this cause.   Be Agamemnon. Be victorious. And may the knives of the Clytemnestras spare ye.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* In times of economical instability, war, disaster or famine— if a particular community in a war-affected society stops being a concern, if oppressing  that particular community by the majority of that society starts becoming fine, if killing its people starts being fine because there are bigger problems, because the majority killing the minority are themselves under threat from a different global superpower — then that minority community was never not killable.  Liberals frame lgbt marriage rights as utopian, as a luxury item. Lgbts can fight for legal marriage recognition only after all other problems in the world have been solved according to liberals. Even though the lack of it systemically kills us, even though granting it to us would require spending not a single penny of state funds. And this frames lgbt lives as killable in any context other than an utopia. Because in any context other than an utopia our lives are worthless.   The conservatives who want to kill lgbt people both when the economy is unstable and even when the economy is stable are more honest  about it. Because their hatred is unconditional. Meanwhile the liberals' allyship is conditional. And unconditional hate is superior to conditional care.  There is only gleeful butchering and unambiguous  solidarity. And either is fine. But the devil's work is what it is done in the middle of that spectrum.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* &quot;We should care more about changing social values first instead of changing laws that could help the marginalized!&quot;  My brother in folly, the only reason you continue to walk on god's green earth is because I want to avoid the legal consequences of killing you with hammers rather than any socially installed values of empathy for people like you.  Bangladeshi liberals exhaust me because they identify  a problem like child marriage and proceed to say shit like &quot;changing laws has no point, we must dismantle the ideology&quot;.  No one is going to hear you preach to them. It's not a matter of simple ideology. If a poor family has the option to legally sell their children to a rich man, they will sell their children to a rich man. You need to ban child marriage to make it harder for them to do it. There will still be children slipping through the cracks in the safety net, but your goal is tightening the net, and making sure there's a safety net preventing the marriage at all. You can't simply vaguely gasture at a &quot;dismantling of ideology&quot; one day without taking the most obvious step first. This is a meaningless exercise. We can't stop all of the child marriages but we can stop at least a huge portion of them and we won't take the steps necessary for even that because we have fucking cucked ourselves into uttering buzzwords and phrases like &quot;changing social values is more important than changing laws&quot; without ever actually going anywhere.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
** In my opinion, one does not truly believe in a cause if one is not prepared to die for it. I'm willing to and have prepared myself to eventually be killed for being lgbt. Most people who want to deny trans people transition facilities, legal recognition or lgbt people the marriage rights are not prepared to die for the cause of denying those things to us, because after all these things don't really directly impact them much. Nonetheless— their belief-less efforts for lgbtphobic causes, often originating from having the same acceptable opinion as the next person, often originating from an attempt to fit in - manages to cause harm due to the majority of their numbers. This is the most depressing aspect of lgbtphobia, a dispassionate disregard is enough to deny you a family of your own. Hence the dispassionate disregard of the upper middle class and rich must be turned into something else. It must be turned into fear.  In fact, since I'm trying my best to get killed, if i end up succeeding in finding death, do not present any rhetorics that ask people to sympathize with me, that'd not jive with my edgelord extremist era. Acknowledge that I've made my decisions in sound mind and move on. I make no appeals to the humanity of inhumans.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* It's not about whether my existence is ethical, it's not about whether I deserve to exist, it's not about whether religion or science justifies my existence— but that I do exist — and I do seek legal recognition for my marriage  and  for my decriminalization — and if I can not have it I will destroy everything, and that you can not destroy me in any meaningful way because lgbt people will reappear in your homes the next generation and they will follow my example of destruction, and you cannot have peace and security without granting it to us.  I lose members of my community to passive systemic violence that results in their demise in lonely  deathbeds left unattended by their closeted partners too scared to come out. It's a mad unjust world and the only sane course of action is to return it with the same unjust madness and disregard for innocent lives it has bestowed on my people. The liberals don't give a shit about us and the leftists see our plight as culture war and the climate change will kill us all in two decades and I can't, in the last few years of my life left to me, after all the violence, after all the fights I fought for this country in July, the life risks I took — I can't even experience a moment of sunset with a husband, sit with him in a park for a picnic, hold his hand in public, rest my head on his shoulder— while the libleft cunts tell me marriage doesn't matter and legalization doesn’t matter while they themselves marry and the leftist dickless spineless gutless worms call the lgbt community consumerist or bourgeoise or colonizers of western hegemony — as the feminists act like trans women were part of patriarchy before transitioning as if we weren't put through psychological, physical  and sexual torture since childhood for acting feminine when the concepts of masculinity and femininity weren't even distinct to us and thus it is acceptable to mock and deride us as long as done from a feminist talking point —  and there is no political organized fight for my kin— why would I not be angry? My anger or madness is not irrational, it's the state of mind I logically  decided to arrive on. I trained myself to think of physical pain as a mere emotion that can be not  felt in order to deal with the pain of beatings and stone-peltings and other forms of physical abuse. I am an extremely controlled individual.  I do not feel anything that I do not want to feel, I do not think anything that I do not want to think, I have decided under cold consideration, that having left no peaceful methods of furthering or acquiring rights for this people, the only option left is violence and death.  We are an endless horde. If we are to be monsters before committing you harm, then we shall be monsters afterwards. If we are marked as the destroyers of your civilization as your civilization crushes us — then we shall fulfill your accusing prophecy.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* What I contend with is the burden of agency. The  despair in knowing things are not hopeless. I can not say &quot;I must be closeted&quot; or &quot;legal queer rights in Bangladesh are not possible&quot; because I know these things to be false. I know possible are all things that we make them to be. I can not find solace in hopelessness. I can not say &quot;there was nothing I could've done&quot; or &quot;this was beyond my hands&quot; because I know these things to be lies that the powerful also say.  If I was murdered or arrested/vanished, my agency properly robbed and I was made truly helpless and incapable of making change— then I could find in my inability to make change some semblance of peace. The self-allowance for rest.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury</text>
      <sha1>m1nvysniz633ajgw3bwepe3is4h5r7o</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944090</id>
      <parentid>3944087</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T23:53:01Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-28023-76</username>
        <id>3317389</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944090</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="59130" sha1="ejm3fmtud07rom4urd9j43ct225gelq" xml:space="preserve">[[wikipedia:Sahara_Chowdhury|Sahara Chowdhury]] (born 2002) is a prominent Bangladeshi transgender July Uprising activist and student who gained national attention for her advocacy for LGBTQ+ rights and authoring the Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto.
== Quotes ==
*For right wingers and moderates, the way the current social system funnels lgbts into coerced prostitution and sexual slavery is not social degeneracy and nor a strike on a sensitive issue— but  the marriage rights of lgbt people is social degeneracy and a strike on a sensitive issue, because their purpose and their  goal is precisely to keep relationships that do not produce children relegated purely within the domain of exploitative prostitution and temporary flings rather than long term families. Before elaborating on this idea one must point out that all capitalists who benefit from capitalism may not consciously understand that they are stealing the surplus value of labor from the workers. So when we speak of the purpose behind anti-LGBT rhetoric, the question will arise: “Do you really think all homophobes and transphobes calculated all of this? That they carry around this nefarious scheme?” And the answer is the same as it is with capitalists: even if they don’t understand the intricacies of the oppressive system they're benefitting from by exploiting people, their  perpetuation of that  system still makes them complicit in its injustice. So we arrive at the question: what is the purpose of homophobia and transphobia? There is, of course, the general purpose of all bigotry, to make society as hierarchical as possible so that the working person feels a semblance of control and power by imagining other working class people in a social station beneath him and comes to view his own station beneath capitalists  as only a natural product of the world.  To make exploitation of the labor of the lower class minority identities easier, such as the enslavement of black people. Or the wage gap between cis women and cis men, and lower yet wages for trans men and trans women. The purpose of bigotry mostly is not genocide, it is exploitation and slavery. And then there is the matter of forcing and coercing population increase, women are after all, womb machines to capitalists to create future workers and soldiers. The job market must be flooded and the supply of workers must exceed the capitalists’ demand that the wage equilibrium reaches ever lower and thus more profit is generated for the capitalists. Thus the infertile cis women are treated with a violence and disregard almost nearing that of society's treatment of transgender women — for neither can give birth. And thus domestic relationships that do not produce children are condemned. But of course, sexual temporary queer relationships are allowed by the system, one which people are systemically prevented from dwelling on. This is not a new phenomenon. A similar dynamic perpetuated under feudalism,  often misguidedly glorified as “tolerance.” Yes, same-sex desire was sometimes tolerated but only so under a brutal condition: you had to marry heterosexually and produce legitimate heirs, especially if you had laid claim to divine blood to justify kingship. Your queer desires could be indulged in only with disposable prostitutes and concubines who held no legal or social claim. Hijra people, sometimes celebrated as tax collectors, were in a position akin to Jewish bankers in medieval Europe, funneled into a tokenized  role.  It was not acceptance, it was ghettoization. This historical arrangement is similar to the  status quo we find ourselves trapped in today, where married closeted politicians and businessmen lead double lives, who exploit lower-class LGBT  prostitutes in secret while publicly upholding the very laws that make that exploitation possible. And here, we reach our main discussion. To understand it, we must apply a simple theory from cybernetics created by Stafford Beer: “The purpose of a system is what it does.” As he stated, there is &quot;no point in claiming that the purpose of a system is to do what it constantly fails to do.” The purpose of a system is not what its creators or proponents  say it does in paper, but what it does in reality. What does the anti-LGBT system do? Does it stop the sexual activities of LGBT people? If it does, how come there is a  disproportionately large amount of LGBT prostitutes? What does denying a group of people anti-discrimination laws at educational institutions, workplace, medical institutions do? What does denying them marriage rights do? A child gets bullied for wanting to grow out its hair and look like a girl, it gets beaten by its teachers and classmates, its academic performance suffers. In a world where children are investments for the future of their parents, it is shaping up to be a sunk cost. What of marriage? Marriage is a form of investment into accessing connections, social capital and actual capital for the family. No marriage rights  for LGBT people  means no benefit to be gained from the child after it grows up on that angle too. So what happens is you pull out of bad investments. The child gets thrown out of home. The child has no access to education and thus no access to jobs. We glorify Hijra communes in our country, yes? Post-colonialists and decolonisers love to do so. The child, now homeless, goes to these hierarchical communes, and what happens when a community living in destitute, with no education nor jobs, has to resort to begging or prostitution, and prostitution pays so much more for the children? What happens when the rich men come down with money in their bags? What happens to the child? It. Gets. Raped. This, to the capitalists, is not a bug, it is the feature of the anti-LGBT system, the very purpose, to create  for them an ever-disposable supply of young flesh to abuse.  After all, these prostitutes don't make it to a very old age due to medical discrimination. They have no access to institutionally legitimized relationships, so their partner can not consent to life saving surgeries when they're unable to. They often due to the taboo perpetuated by the ruling class are kept secret from society by their partner and when they fall ill, do not even get a visit on their deathbed. And thus the older prostitutes die off to make place for the new ones. Thus keeps on eating ouroboros its tail. But worry not, true believers! Liberals will  surely destroy this material exploitation that benefits the ruling class by using cultural terms for transgender people. Surely, calling us marginalized gender instead of transgender will remove  the incentive of the ruling class to deny us legal rights! Surely, calling the child prostitute a performer or entertainer instead of a child prostitute will fix the issue they won't even acknowledge to exist there! This system has gone on since the feudalist era. Call us ghetuputro or hijra or koti or whatever you want, at the end of the day the result is the same, LGBTs get funneled into prostitution due to lack of legal rights.  I've explained in my manifesto at length how the lack of lgbt marriage rights incentivizes parents to throw out their queer children, funnels these homeless children into prostitution, how it causes lgbt relationships to be short lived and transactional, causes trans people to be abandoned by their cis partners. Causes institutional problems due to lack of relationship acknowledgement. Anyway, while gays are denied marriage rights due to not being reproductive, marriage's endgoal remains to maintain reproduction. Ideologies that are against letting homosexuals legally marry will inevitably allow child marriage and marital rape of cis girls and women and the pederasty and coerced prostitution of queers. Women are treated as reproductive properties. Due to this, rape is less a violation of the victim's body and more a trespassing onto the father's or the husband's property. Under this mindset, marital rape can not exist because the husband is the property owner and cannot trespass his own property, child marriage is acceptable as long as the child can birth babies because that's the condition of marriage being fulfilled. And because un-reproductive bodies are not marriageable, the femboys and trans women become un-rape-able even when they're funneled into prostitution as children and violated and penetrated against consent. By maintaining medical discrimination the ruling class ensures the early deaths of these prostitutes to keep the supply of flesh forever young and maintain the lack of life long formation of attachments. While the first world legalizes Igbt marriage, it utilizes NGOs and liberal intellectuals in the third world to argue against Igbt marriage rights due to depending on the labor of third worlds. As well as incentivizing third world queers to acquiesce to getting human trafficked by sex trafficking rings to first world countries hoping for freedom from bigotry. &quot;But won't homosexual marriage rights reinforce the patriarchal institution of marriage?&quot; I'm glad you asked! But no, it won't. Marriage is patriarchal due to it being designed as a ritual of reproduction. Reproduction legitimizes child marriage as long as the child bride gives birth. It legitimizes marital rape. Because gay relationships do not reproduce, marriage which for lgbts would be a ritual of social acknowledgement- actually subverts patriarchal values. Whereas without marriage, in secrecy lgbt relationships affirm patriarchal assignment of queers within the realm of secret hookups and prostitution. Saying marriage  is capitalistic and patriarchal so gays shouldn’t get marriage rights is like saying &quot;the state exists to protect capital so socialists shouldn’t want a socialist state&quot;. You people are dumbfucks. The reason the lgbt issue can't be fixed with a similar approach to cis people's issue is because cis people are not mostly comprised of prostitutes and clients, and lgbt people are mostly comprised of prostitutes and clients. So while &quot;most reported sexual violence comes from the family members&quot; applies to cis people, it wouldn’t apply to lgbt people whose suffered violence is coming on a great level from pimps and clients who view them as lesser than family — as well as the abuse of prostitutes generally being underreported and when reported under-documented. Liberals will see all of this, and they'll say &quot;Well, how about you teach parents not to throw their queer children out and teach queers to not abandon their partners&quot;. In this, they forego critique of  problems created by policies and laws to offer individualist solutions. Instead of changing the policies that cause this. Change the individual they say, because systems are just by individuals, and they ignore mentioning which class of individuals make these rules and laws. Which class of individuals with proclivity to be rapists and pederasts enjoy the benefits of homeless queer children desperate for money. And this is why I don't have any option but violence, because the liberals refuse to be honest. John F. Kennedy was an evil man who committed genocide on communists. But he, in his self-awareness, understood one thing: “Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.” Whenever feminists mention that women are 50% of the population, they're really making an appeal to utilitarianism for women's rights. Which is fine and well. Minorities, of course, failing to rely on such a percentage, for their rights need to make a different sort of appeal to utilitarianism. The one in which utilitarianism needs to bend to their needs  not out of the whims  of the majority but rather for the safety of the majority, which must be jeopardised by the minority  until the attainment of such goals.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* When in Western countries LGBT people have rights and non-Western countries’ LGBT population demands rights, then we are told, “LGBTs are Western culture,” and when the West takes away the rights of their LGBT communities, we are told, “Even the West doesn’t have LGBT rights, how can it be in Bangladesh?” It is their thought process that is centred around the Western ruling class, not my thought process. Free, free Palestine. Death to America. Death to Israel. The Western ruling class used to segregate black and white people 60 years ago, and enslaved them 200 years ago. Black people earned their rights through struggle and blood. So would any dumbass claim black civil rights is “western hegemony”? So the LGBT rights for which Harvey Milk was murdered, Marsha Johnson and Sylvie Rivera gave their lives for — why is it called western hegemony? Western right-wingers call our rights “cultural marxism,” and certain intellectuals in our country call our rights “ western hegemony”— that’s the extent of their cultural hegemony. Gramsci had mentioned hegemony in relation to the ruling class, as I care not for Western hegemony — neither do I respect Bengali feudalistic theocratic hegemony. Some even call our marriage rights “heteronormative”, which is like calling black people’s rights to vote “whitero-normative”.
** [https://bdfeministarchives.org/2025/08/23/press-conference-statement-of-sahara-chowdhury/ Press Conference Statement of Sahara Chowdhury]
* Reiterating my point once more, there has been a recent research that found the right wing conservative American states with the most amount of anti-transgender laws also have the most amount of searches for transgender pornography.     A lot of people found this funny or hypocritical. But really, there is no hypocrisy in this. What is the consequence of anti-transgender laws? The transgender kids get thrown out of home, they can't access education without bullying, they can't get jobs. What's the consequence of that? They turn to prostitution, becoming porn actors, and concubinism. So really, conservatives are simply maintaining their supply chain of vulnerable trans people to abuse. The purpose of a system is what it does, and this is the system they've built.     Like I always say, right wingers don't want to eradicate trans people completely, just like they don't want to eradicate cis women or black people. They want trans people in the lower station in the pyramid of hierarchy. They want trans people to live as sex objects without any legal recognition of marriage or institutional recognition and die after being abused and exploited. Eradicating cis women, black people, and trans people would mean right wingers can not exploit them any longer, right wingers just want to deny them legal rights to keep exploiting them. And that's worse. 
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* It's interesting that like conservatives, liberals too maintain a social hierarchy. Whereas conservatives' social hierarchy is based on who deserves more oppression, the liberal's social hierarchy is based on who deserves more liberation. They cite how &quot;even women don't have all the rights&quot; whenever lgbt rights are brought up. A pyramid of hierarchy for liberals.   At which point in the hierarchy do queers reside? There are always bigger issues than our plight before solving which our rights are impossible to acquire so surely this implies a laundry list. Imagine if American liberals began listing off how women — half the population of America — didn’t have all the rights every time the Black people fought for their rights in the civil rights era because after all, black people were merely 10 percent of the population while ignoring the existence of black women. Liberals' approach to lgbt people is for us to assume the role of an unseemly but non-malignant tumor on the body of society rather than being an actual organ. But at the end, non-malignant tumors are cut off just to maintain aesthetics.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Do you know why charities and ngos, even when people at the top weren’t swindling the money for themselves — never substantially improved transgender lives? In the context of Bangladesh where most trans people are funneled into slums and ghettos without marriage rights as prostitutes denied family having to rely on each other to survive? A vulnerable community specifically isolated into a patch of housing environment? Let's say you're a slum lord. And these trans people suddenly get money from charities. You as a slum landlord are not going to let them spend it on themselves. You're going to raise the fucking rent. And it's easy for you to raise the rent specifically for trans people rather than both trans and cis people because the trans people are all huddled into the same living environment.  So you see how it is? A community gets specifically targeted charity but it doesn’t do jack because the community is isolated and converged into the same space rather than being allowed to assimilate into society through institutions like marriage. And so the transgender  whore still ends up having to sell its body for rent and food, because the house always wins.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Are you familiar with the concept of endless war, son? the defining characteristics are:    1) Unclear objectives: goals are vague (as in &quot;defeating terrorism&quot;) rather than specific measurable targets.    2) Inability to win: a lack of capacity to achieve stated aims, yet no risk of outright defeat. 3) Lack of exit strategy: no defined endpoint or plan for withdrawal.    4) Protracted nature: lasts for years or decades with ongoing low-intensity engagement.    Endless wars are by design endless and exist to generate profit for capitalists through perpetual conflict. Often we've seen how the enemy fought by the imperialistic American military is funded by American government itself. Terrorists are not even their enemies but simple playmates. Now scale these geopolitical conflicts down. Think about how NGO queer leaders work in Bangladesh.     1) They have no objectives, their goal is never to win any legal rights or changing policies.   2) They themselves are defeatist and always act like they're on the losing side and yet not perish, they can not win and nor can they lose.   3) They have no goals such as achieving any laws or queer marriage rights and as such they lack an endpoint.   4) Due to this, aimlessly they work on keeping the lower class queer population hooked on drip-fed charity, their tactics are low intensity to the point of refusing to even use words like gay or transgender while working for these people. NGOs are leading an endless conflict with queer lives. they have no plan for achieving marriage rights or any other rights. Their goal is. Endless. Conflict. Without an end. To secure funding. These institutions can't end the injustices they claim to fight because resolving those injustices would make them extinct.  They oppose marriage rights because it is a goal. They cannot have a goal. They can only gesture vaguely at &quot;basic rights&quot; whenever legal marriage rights are brought up. They cannot let you have peace much like war profiteers because your misery is what feeds them. The conservatives are not even their enemies, but simple playmates.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Let's talk about how shallow anticonsumerism rhetoric gets used against marginalized communities. Now,  let me preface this saying: images of socialist  icons such as Che Guevara are mass produced on merchandises in sweatshops, Soviet Union hats are mass produced and sold in sweatshops— does that mean socialism is inherently a bourgeoisie ideology? Obviously, no, even an idiot knows that. Capitalism subsumes all aesthetics and symbols. This is known. Religious artifacts are mass produced too. Now are all muslims inherently consumerists and bourgeoisie because corporations mass produce products with stars and crescents and ottoman aesthetics and some muslims buy them? Obviously, no, once again! But then, some intellectual morons accuse the lgbt community of being consumerist soft-capitalists (a meaningless term) because sweatshops produce rainbow flags too and some lgbt people buy these mass produced merchandise. They claim they are not against men fucking men but they're against the various “lgbt labels”, because they claim the labels were invented to sell products targeted to these identities, which again is a moronic fucking claim. No, the labels needed to exist because an oppressed group of people who deal with intense illegalization and denial of rights (often even denied from participation in modes of production to even be considered part of the proletariat and thus forced to be lumpen prostitutes and criminals left historically ignored in socialist nations)  need a shared identity to build solidarity for each other. Of course capitalism capitalizes on the identity of the homosexual and transgender, it capitalizes on all fucking identities, this does not mean people of these identities thus become “bourgeoise” or that even most people of these identities even buy such merchandise. So to say that a community is bourgeoisie when most of them are poor and they're killed not only in the global south but also in the west is an inhumane fucking thing to do.   Let's about transsexuals. Trans people who takes hormones to ease their sense of dysphoria is condemned by these scholarly fuckturds for being “consumerist”, some point out various injustices in the creation of hormonal medicines to condemn it altogether and declare it unnatural. Motherfucker everything from polio vaccines to abortion to the understanding of anatomy has dark histories of abused marginalized people in them. Does this mean you'll reject these technologies that have already been developed? Do you reject medicines for the cold or glasses for  your eyes because blind people didn't have access to this technology before and thus it's unnatural to use it now? Secondly, there are trans people, chemists or people with chemical knowledge,  who produce their own hormones without buying from corporations. Tell me, are you fine with hormones created without corporate ties or do you think those trans people are “brainwashed” by the “big pharma” as well to sell more “products” and thus are deserving of condemnation? Are you against state produced estrogen and testosterone in socialist nations like Cuba that are beginning to stop fucking over trannies too? Or do you think trannies in socialist countries are brainwashed by the big pharma too? The funniest thing about traditionalists who are pro-natalists trying to frame transgender people as corporate-invention consumers of medicines is that you can frame those cishets as corporate-invention consoomers who are making the act of  creating babies a huge part of their identity and in the process are tricked into consoooming more and more resources and are tricked into spending  money to uh buy things. Its bullshit, just like framing trans people as slaves of consumer culture  is bullshit. But two can play at that game.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Those self-identified &quot;queer grassroot leaders&quot; calling for restrain and secrecy in lgbt activism and decrying people speaking out without consulting them— or general intellectual/politician horde, often identifying themselves  as leftists , do not apply actual proper class analysis but remain stuck in playing a form of identity politics.     For them, owning private property  is not an signifier of class but rather aesthetics are— the openly queer people attempting open nonsecret bold activism become &quot;privileged&quot; not due to ownership of private property  or by exploiting others' labor but due to the social conventions they break — due to contradicting these people  or being rude to them. Openly queer people are assumed to be rich and thus above the law by them — rather than being openly queer because they have nothing to lose.   Class reductionism done right is better than the form of identity politics which they play.  In Spivak's essay she asked &quot;can the subaltern speak&quot; and Bangladeshi leftists have turned it into an assertive sentence — the subaltern can not speak— and thus anyone who speaks is not qualified as a subaltern. Openly queer people advocating for legal rights  are framed as &quot;privileged&quot; and &quot;doing more harm than good&quot; for the queer  collective. Anyone breaking social conventions are framed as individualists and since asking for lgbt rights is breaking social conventions, thus the queer activists are individualists and individualism is a very very very no good bad bad word, saar. However, the downlow queer activists or leaders who call for secrecy and restrain are not promoting active collectivism. They're promoting passive collectivism, passive collectivism which  seeks to not make waves but help individuals within the community through charity and access to resources. Which ironically enough can be called a form of individualism itself — queer  individuals are getting help through charity— but the system that denies them legal rights collectively is not confronted. For the bourgeoisie, the hierarchy-based society is what grants them power and privilege — and for the proletariat, the hierarchy is the cause of their suffering. Herein lies the contradiction of bourgeois charity — if the goal of charity is to alleviate suffering, then charity must dismantle the hierarchy rather than reinforce it — but that would require the bourgeoisie to act against their class interest — thus bourgeois charity is self-contradictory and can never alleviate suffering in any meaningful way but only exist to reinforce the status quo by being a tool of dominance-assertion for the ruling class which simultaneously frames them as “good people”. And thus passive collectivism is a form of individualism. I could try to argue that I am  attempting to mobilisea the community toward collective action as an individual  and that even if my actions end up hurting the collective as it always does when lgbt controversy goes viral — that in the long term it will do more good by alleviating systemic oppression and the queer activists now are thinking of short term &quot;good&quot;. But that would be rebutted with a simple &quot;ah but you will fail to change legal policies, and so there will only be short term harm without long term good&quot;.  In this case, I would not have any particular argument to provide in order to moralize my actions.  And thus I would simply accept accusations of amorality and  privilege as a part of what I am and what I do. I will simply identify myself as a knowingly harmful privileged element. The question is what's next? What can you sniveling fuckwads do after that — beyond having me arrested or killing me? I accept death. I have walked into places as bombs were being thrown. I have walked toward gunfires with nothing but bricks in my hands. I have been beaten and raped as a joke. What can you do to me that has not been done? Mine is the privilege of being Death incarnate. I moralize none of my actions— I ask no pity for what might happen to me. I preach violence for the sake of violence— conflict for the sake of conflict— whether it's sustainable or effective does not matter to me. My complete agency and its negative consequences I fully accept. Cower before my omnipotence and repent.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* The problem that is happening now is that these fringe political groups are framing themselves as ordinary people. They are not ordinary people. The ordinary people were here all day. They did nothing. They are not against us. If they make any public statement against us, it will be because of pressure from those political parties — because they have to live here. If they go against the political party, the party has state power. The party will come and demolish their stalls. So the point is that ordinary people are not against us. I was interacting with ordinary people all day. Ordinary people did nothing. The ones who are against us are a few lifeless, subhuman people, people like animals. Their job is to establish fascism. And the fact that they have started this recently — they got this from the West too. In the West as well, there wasn’t much major opposition to transgender people for a long time. After 2016, Ben Shapiro, Michael Walsh — these kinds of Zionists, these Israel-supporting people — started speaking against transgender people. Meanwhile we can see that transgender and gay people in Western countries have united and stood against their aggression, spoken against their imperialism, worked against Israel’s genocide of Palestinian people. There is Queer for Palestine. There are many groups like this. These people in the West carry on their work. But here in Bangladesh, right-wingers like Sarwar Hossain (Sorowar Hossain) — when Trump speaks against transgender people, when Michael Walsh speaks against transgender people, when their driving forces speak against transgender people, they don’t notice that these same people defend Israel. These same people carry out genocide in Palestine, carry out genocide in UNRWA. Then they take the side of these genocidal imperialists and say — &quot;well, since they speak against transgender people, they must be good.&quot;
** [https://zahranesque.substack.com/p/how-the-right-wing-decides-who-counts How the Right-Wing Decides Who Counts as Intersex, Trans, or Gay]
* Politicians (like Sarjis Alam) often present &quot;conversion therapy&quot; as an answer to lgbt people. This of course is to sate rich parents who worry their children might be lgbt and as a result suffer bigotry. Conversion therapy will of course only be accessible to the rich. Poor people won't be able to afford institutionally torturing their children under guise of therapy. So in the present dynamic in which lower class visibly queer lgbts are funneled into prostitution and rich people who are closeted exploit them — conversion therapy acts as a course correction or safeguard for lgbt people born to rich parents who may rebel against this social dynamic in their youth and come out of closet. Thus conversion &quot;therapy&quot; is used to torture them until they agree to get back to closet and dance to the tune of status quo and be one of those miserable closeted cishet-married middle aged people cheating on their partner— and this therapy/torture is a social symbol of repentance/redemption from their &quot;temporary corruption by the lgbt agenda&quot;. Thus conversion therapy is offered to rich parents as an alternative to lgbt rights, and it appeals to them because civil rights for lgbts would apply to all classes — meanwhile  conversion therapy  is an exclusive &quot;solution&quot; to the rich. 
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* On a class interest level, the hijra underling and the transgender are not opponents— but the hijra guruma and the transgender are in class conflict and are opponents.   Transgenderism introduces an idea of gender deviancy in this region that does not require submission to an authority or leadership figure like the guruma.   Because the guruma exploits the underling's money from begging and selling them into sexual contracts (with the client base often extending to India), on an existential level the idea of gender-deviants not flocking together and instead  trying to establish  their legal rights/ability to perpetuate life  outside the hijra system is a threat to gurumas' labor capital. [This does not mean transgenderism without trans rights would end trans people's funneling toward sex work, it would simply either 1) make them their own solicitor or more likely 2) make a pimp who is not the guruma the solicitor, which nonetheless destabilizes their power]   Of course there are &quot;good&quot; gurumas, as there are feudal lords who maybe personally a &quot;good&quot; person, but on a systemic level the hijra caste is not sustainable in a way that does not leave the underlings traumatized and exploited. And people who can not think systemically and are hooked on addlepated  micro-narratives will be offended at the suggestion.  Whereas the Awami League constitutional  framing of hijra as an &quot;intersex&quot; identity is ahistorical and many hijra guruma want a form of legal recognition that recognizes it as an identity adjacent profession (in simpler term a caste and their goal being to legally perpetuate this caste due to their benefit incentive), the transgender identity if legally recognized would be so outside this caste system.  The hijra legal recognition right now does not really fully benefit even the gurumas as it limits the definition to &quot;intersex&quot; (and only the ones whose genitalia are variant, not the chromosomal or hormone variant ones) so on a legal basis  most of them are not covered by it, although the gurumas can still use this to control their commune members by reporting to cops of the ones trying to leave the hijra system without forsaking their gender presentation as &quot;fake hijras&quot;, which the legal definition of hijras as intersex would get the hypothetical underling in trouble cause the cops will be checking the underling's genitals rather than the wealth-backed gurumas'.  Fuckass libshits will frame this as a colonial individualism (trans) versus traditional collective (hijra) issue, rather than a non-feudal identity versus feudal identity or non-labor-exploitative versus labor-exploitative  issue.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* When invisibility and safe space queer people as their life-support embrace: queers who are inherently visible are seen by them as life-threat, risible, deserving of condemnation, scorn, fear. To preserve their cherished “safety” so dear. Lest the masses be reminded that they do indeed exist, much to their dismay. Thus: the girly faggot, the manly dyke, Also the tranny- they come to dislike. And thus they blame their oppression onto those wretches, ones who suffer the most too. That's how we cannibalize each other. And that's the way how brother kills brother.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* There are ones who view trans women as predatory men, and ones who view trans women as privileged past men who lost their privilege and &quot;became&quot; something closer to women.   Transphobia  is viewed by them as a byproduct of misogyny seeking to subjugate wombyns rather than its own construct used to specifically subjugate and exploit trans people.   Thus transitioning and all the violence trans people face associated with transitioning is not for trans people to own but for wombyns to own. This is a framing almost of a criminal who has been captured and disgraced, is to be pitied now for that disgrace, but there may still be in him the qualities that drove him to banditry.   The reason I say I'm gay man now is because they view gay men as having power over women and being male privileged. And it is better to be viewed as possessing  of more power than less, because the liberals' approach to marginalized communities is not to allocate power, but to remind them that they're powerless and should bow and kneel in accordance.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Liberals preach on about their empathy, they've turned empathy into a weapon — not against oppressors but against the oppressed. Their opposition to homophobia and transphobia is a controlled opposition. They will say you too deserve empathy, that you too are human, that they feel sorrow at your plight — but they're the vultures of sorrow. Their sorrow exists only to assert their humanity, but does not transmute into legal change. Their intention is not legal change nor doing any actual improvement beyond charity for lgbt people— it is to maintain the conditions which creates the necessity for charity. Their empathy is a jackboot.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* More queers in Bangladesh have died from lack of systemic legal recognition and the lack of civil rights than they have died from hate crimes for advocating for their civil rights.   Queers die from hate crimes in countries with lgbt friendly laws too. The only difference is Bangladeshis use the deaths of Xulhaz and his partner as the unending sob story and scareshow instead of keeping on fighting. Do I come across as crass? Do I seem disrespectful to the weight of their deaths? Because their deaths have already been made weightless by people who used it as an excuse to give up the fight.  Anyway Bangladeshi lgbts who seek to apply for asylum abroad  probably have a vested interest in keeping the country's anti-lgbt laws unchanged, just saying.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* The problem with queer people is that a lot of them think they're an inherently liberated people.   It’s the notion that queerphobia exists simply as a tool to keep women in their station under patriarchy rather than something that exists to directly exploit queers and keep queers in their station as well. For queers to acknowledge that society has a station for them is to accept that they're not free agents and it scares them. They would prefer imagining that the brothels or the underworld network they inhabit is somehow separated from the status quo, but they're part of the status quo, that is your station. You're not free by choosing not to be in a family, by choosing not to be in a heterosexual relationship. Even the nature of your homosexual relationship is dictated by capital. When you're taking the role of a sugar baby, when you're being a prostitute or concubine, when you're visibly queer but your partner keeps you secret and it reduces your chances of survival — that's all dictated by capital. It's not a coincidence, you don't belong to a parallel power, the underground network isn’t parallel power, your relationships are not a product of a parallel structure, it's part of state and capital, you're not a destabilizing force just by existing, you're still a part of this structure.    Your continuous life or mere existence if you're lgbt actually IS NOT a middle finger to the status quo in itself. People say existence is resistance as a fucking cope to compensate for their impotency.  Because the ruling class only acts like they want you dead.   They actually don't.   They want instead for you to suffer perpetually.   They want you to exist, but barely, beneath their feet in the social hierarchy, so they can feel like they're above someone else. So they can feel like they're better, so they can continue to exploit you.  If your whole community died, if all the marginalized people died, these people wouldn’t know what to do with themselves, they would have to create  divides within themselves just to stand on the top of someone else.  Your mere existence, such is why, is not revolutionary in itself— until you start doing activities that can directly destabilize their foothold on the pyramid of social hierarchies. 
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Nothing incurs more  disgust and loathing in me more than the term &quot;safe space&quot;— be it for race, religion, women or lgbts.   Ritualized and institutionalized cowardice and performative fragility.  Fascism comes  to Bangladesh under the guise of creating safe spaces.  There is no greater  joke for Bangladeshi lgbt peoplSpaces   the phrase &quot;safe space&quot;. You can have no safe space in a nation which laws criminalize you, disallows you from having marriage or civil union rights, disallows your loved one the consent to put you on life support or bury you. Safe space is then a boiling water at best which cooks you and you can not tell because the flames are out of your sight.  The only real safety is in the weapon of your hand.  You must reject the illusion of safe spaces. You must reject incremental change. It has to be accelerationism on either direction.  It's a fucking joke seeing cowardly senior lgbt leaders unironically trying to fearmonger against the idea of  lgbts coming out of the closet and demanding legal rights despite knowing how many lgbt people closeted and out of closet were out there in the streets during July already acquainted with the bloodbath and now don't even have any future social or legal  security  to mentally recover from it or find a sense of normalcy through a domestic life that their straight and cis counterparts have and thus have no reason to fear loss of life or violence.   I have stood against people  with guns and bombs, what fear do I have against blades?  What do I have to look forward to — other than either domesticity or death?  &quot;Safe spaces&quot; for liberals to hang out in without any specific goals give them an inert impotent private outlet for their energy that could've been better utilized in disruptive public actions. Due to conservative aggression and taboos they operate on pure superego in public, and in safe spaces as compensation, they revert to pure id. In either spaces their ego is unutilized. As a result, because safe spaces are always compromised, they end up looking that much like clowns when they're exposed in public. Safe spaces are the fascism's carrot to fascism's stick.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Hope can be a shitty thing sometimes. When you're getting kicked in the belly, sometimes it can stop you from hitting back the person kicking you in the hope your passivity will arouse a sense of sympathy in them and make them stop. That hope is the other side of the fear that hitting the person hitting you will make them hit you more. People talk about crippling dread, but hope can be crippling too. There is the sort of despair that snuffs out all your energy and leaves you a living corpse and there is the type that motivates you into action with the intent of going down swinging. Can't escape despair as much as choose which kind to give yourself into.   People talk about how the state of the world should &quot;radicalize your rather than lead you to despair&quot; but you can't get radicalized without being chin deep in despair, honestly. The kind of change the world needs right now can only be brought in by a mass movement of suicidal and desperate working class people ready to go down swinging. But we're all dreaming that things might get better. And we won't do the things that need to be done until we give up on that dream. Until we start to truly, properly despair.  
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Genocides against queers can never be permanent —but only perpetual— because we don't repopulate like ethnic minorities from ancestors to descendants. Unfortunately this also means we will never have a permanent diaspora. You can't ever move all the queers abroad to a comparatively safe zone or whatever because they will just repopulate the next generation.   So the only possible option to leave a better world for the future is improving the ground where you stand on. Because you'll never be able to take all your people away. You will never be Moses. All your people will become enslaved once more, the Pharaoh can never let them go. And so you must kill the Pharaoh.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* The other day this  guy in a seminar  was talking about some &quot;Oh the lgbt culture in America was more radical before they got their rights&quot;. Were they? Were they? Rich powerful wankers like fucking FBI head J Edgar Hoover and conservative cuck Roy Cohn were bruising the innards of male survival sex workers in secret orgies back then. What, are you gonna pretend abusive rich paypigs aren’t a fundamental part of queer culture when not having rights are forcing our kids into the streets?  And you’ve had  armed trannies and gays wearing soviet hats organizing the streets  now and even the past two decades there.  We're just fucking people dude. We'll be shitty people and good people with or without rights — just the lives of lower class ones would be somewhat fucking easier. And we see now too don't we? Awami League has as many queer supporters as fucking Maoist groups have queer people in them. So what the fuck are you talking about, what the fuck homonationalist crap theories are you waving in front of my face? Fuck your theory.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* I've gone at length in my manifesto  about how the denial of lgbt marriage rights is killing and putting  lgbt people on an early  grave systemically. So when our legal rights would require no state funds to be wasted, why are we denied it?  Liberals posit that our issues are secondary to anti-imperialism, socialism, feminism and macroeconomics in general —often portraying us as an obstacle to these things even. They condemn the NGO queers, but they never empower the voices of the non-NGO queers. They condemn BAL queers, but never embolden the voices of the queers who fought in the streets in July, supported it intellectually and in the background with resources. They claim queers must remain silent until patriarchy is destroyed and women are at equal standing with men and make no progress in feminism either beyond shallow wins. They claim that  queer rights are impossible in a poor country and that queers are all rich while poor queers bear the double burden of class and queerphobia.    So the question comes— decades of lgbts prostituting away and dying —and have you managed to make a dent on the American empire? Has socialism been established in your country?  Has feminism made strides? Has the economy been bolstered in the absence of lgbt rights as we died like dogs?  So, their opposition to queer rights is obviously not rational. And in this irrationality do we find their faith — that if they systemically lavish onto enough of us passive deaths that their cause will be bolstered. As if we are the human sacrifices to the gods of Feminism, Socialism, Economy  and Anti-imperialism.  No, this is a fine view to have. I'm not critiquing it, merely describing it. So why are their gods not listening to their prayers? I posit this is because queer lives cut short by systemic denial has cheapened our blood and flesh so much that we hold no longer any value as human sacrifices. My suggestion to these leftists and liberals would then be to sacrifice their own family members and children to this cause.   Be Agamemnon. Be victorious. And may the knives of the Clytemnestras spare ye.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* In times of economical instability, war, disaster or famine— if a particular community in a war-affected society stops being a concern, if oppressing  that particular community by the majority of that society starts becoming fine, if killing its people starts being fine because there are bigger problems, because the majority killing the minority are themselves under threat from a different global superpower — then that minority community was never not killable.  Liberals frame lgbt marriage rights as utopian, as a luxury item. Lgbts can fight for legal marriage recognition only after all other problems in the world have been solved according to liberals. Even though the lack of it systemically kills us, even though granting it to us would require spending not a single penny of state funds. And this frames lgbt lives as killable in any context other than an utopia. Because in any context other than an utopia our lives are worthless.   The conservatives who want to kill lgbt people both when the economy is unstable and even when the economy is stable are more honest  about it. Because their hatred is unconditional. Meanwhile the liberals' allyship is conditional. And unconditional hate is superior to conditional care.  There is only gleeful butchering and unambiguous  solidarity. And either is fine. But the devil's work is what it is done in the middle of that spectrum.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* &quot;We should care more about changing social values first instead of changing laws that could help the marginalized!&quot;  My brother in folly, the only reason you continue to walk on god's green earth is because I want to avoid the legal consequences of killing you with hammers rather than any socially installed values of empathy for people like you.  Bangladeshi liberals exhaust me because they identify  a problem like child marriage and proceed to say shit like &quot;changing laws has no point, we must dismantle the ideology&quot;.  No one is going to hear you preach to them. It's not a matter of simple ideology. If a poor family has the option to legally sell their children to a rich man, they will sell their children to a rich man. You need to ban child marriage to make it harder for them to do it. There will still be children slipping through the cracks in the safety net, but your goal is tightening the net, and making sure there's a safety net preventing the marriage at all. You can't simply vaguely gasture at a &quot;dismantling of ideology&quot; one day without taking the most obvious step first. This is a meaningless exercise. We can't stop all of the child marriages but we can stop at least a huge portion of them and we won't take the steps necessary for even that because we have fucking cucked ourselves into uttering buzzwords and phrases like &quot;changing social values is more important than changing laws&quot; without ever actually going anywhere.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* In my opinion, one does not truly believe in a cause if one is not prepared to die for it. I'm willing to and have prepared myself to eventually be killed for being lgbt. Most people who want to deny trans people transition facilities, legal recognition or lgbt people the marriage rights are not prepared to die for the cause of denying those things to us, because after all these things don't really directly impact them much. Nonetheless— their belief-less efforts for lgbtphobic causes, often originating from having the same acceptable opinion as the next person, often originating from an attempt to fit in - manages to cause harm due to the majority of their numbers. This is the most depressing aspect of lgbtphobia, a dispassionate disregard is enough to deny you a family of your own. Hence the dispassionate disregard of the upper middle class and rich must be turned into something else. It must be turned into fear.  In fact, since I'm trying my best to get killed, if i end up succeeding in finding death, do not present any rhetorics that ask people to sympathize with me, that'd not jive with my edgelord extremist era. Acknowledge that I've made my decisions in sound mind and move on. I make no appeals to the humanity of inhumans.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* It's not about whether my existence is ethical, it's not about whether I deserve to exist, it's not about whether religion or science justifies my existence— but that I do exist — and I do seek legal recognition for my marriage  and  for my decriminalization — and if I can not have it I will destroy everything, and that you can not destroy me in any meaningful way because lgbt people will reappear in your homes the next generation and they will follow my example of destruction, and you cannot have peace and security without granting it to us.  I lose members of my community to passive systemic violence that results in their demise in lonely  deathbeds left unattended by their closeted partners too scared to come out. It's a mad unjust world and the only sane course of action is to return it with the same unjust madness and disregard for innocent lives it has bestowed on my people. The liberals don't give a shit about us and the leftists see our plight as culture war and the climate change will kill us all in two decades and I can't, in the last few years of my life left to me, after all the violence, after all the fights I fought for this country in July, the life risks I took — I can't even experience a moment of sunset with a husband, sit with him in a park for a picnic, hold his hand in public, rest my head on his shoulder— while the libleft cunts tell me marriage doesn't matter and legalization doesn’t matter while they themselves marry and the leftist dickless spineless gutless worms call the lgbt community consumerist or bourgeoise or colonizers of western hegemony — as the feminists act like trans women were part of patriarchy before transitioning as if we weren't put through psychological, physical  and sexual torture since childhood for acting feminine when the concepts of masculinity and femininity weren't even distinct to us and thus it is acceptable to mock and deride us as long as done from a feminist talking point —  and there is no political organized fight for my kin— why would I not be angry? My anger or madness is not irrational, it's the state of mind I logically  decided to arrive on. I trained myself to think of physical pain as a mere emotion that can be not  felt in order to deal with the pain of beatings and stone-peltings and other forms of physical abuse. I am an extremely controlled individual.  I do not feel anything that I do not want to feel, I do not think anything that I do not want to think, I have decided under cold consideration, that having left no peaceful methods of furthering or acquiring rights for this people, the only option left is violence and death.  We are an endless horde. If we are to be monsters before committing you harm, then we shall be monsters afterwards. If we are marked as the destroyers of your civilization as your civilization crushes us — then we shall fulfill your accusing prophecy.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Bigotry will forever exist, you will always hear slurs. You will often need to fight physically. This is unavoidable. The point of  legal rights is to give you the slightest chance of survival. Of course it won't solve all your problems. Of course your parents won't say they'll love you forever no matter what like some cheesy Hollywood movie. The point of legal rights is to give you a lifeline to hold as you drown, of course it's not a magical solution to all of your problems. But it needs to exist just for that
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* What I contend with is the burden of agency. The  despair in knowing things are not hopeless. I can not say &quot;I must be closeted&quot; or &quot;legal queer rights in Bangladesh are not possible&quot; because I know these things to be false. I know possible are all things that we make them to be. I can not find solace in hopelessness. I can not say &quot;there was nothing I could've done&quot; or &quot;this was beyond my hands&quot; because I know these things to be lies that the powerful also say.  If I was murdered or arrested/vanished, my agency properly robbed and I was made truly helpless and incapable of making change— then I could find in my inability to make change some semblance of peace. The self-allowance for rest.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury</text>
      <sha1>ejm3fmtud07rom4urd9j43ct225gelq</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944100</id>
      <parentid>3944090</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T00:57:57Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>~2026-28023-76</username>
        <id>3317389</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Quotes */</comment>
      <origin>3944100</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="64130" sha1="9gva0kuwc3bniyc8hmuuwgnpfvrn933" xml:space="preserve">[[wikipedia:Sahara_Chowdhury|Sahara Chowdhury]] (born 2002) is a prominent Bangladeshi transgender July Uprising activist and student who gained national attention for her advocacy for LGBTQ+ rights and authoring the Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto.
== Quotes ==
*For right wingers and moderates, the way the current social system funnels lgbts into coerced prostitution and sexual slavery is not social degeneracy and nor a strike on a sensitive issue— but  the marriage rights of lgbt people is social degeneracy and a strike on a sensitive issue, because their purpose and their  goal is precisely to keep relationships that do not produce children relegated purely within the domain of exploitative prostitution and temporary flings rather than long term families. Before elaborating on this idea one must point out that all capitalists who benefit from capitalism may not consciously understand that they are stealing the surplus value of labor from the workers. So when we speak of the purpose behind anti-LGBT rhetoric, the question will arise: “Do you really think all homophobes and transphobes calculated all of this? That they carry around this nefarious scheme?” And the answer is the same as it is with capitalists: even if they don’t understand the intricacies of the oppressive system they're benefitting from by exploiting people, their  perpetuation of that  system still makes them complicit in its injustice. So we arrive at the question: what is the purpose of homophobia and transphobia? There is, of course, the general purpose of all bigotry, to make society as hierarchical as possible so that the working person feels a semblance of control and power by imagining other working class people in a social station beneath him and comes to view his own station beneath capitalists  as only a natural product of the world.  To make exploitation of the labor of the lower class minority identities easier, such as the enslavement of black people. Or the wage gap between cis women and cis men, and lower yet wages for trans men and trans women. The purpose of bigotry mostly is not genocide, it is exploitation and slavery. And then there is the matter of forcing and coercing population increase, women are after all, womb machines to capitalists to create future workers and soldiers. The job market must be flooded and the supply of workers must exceed the capitalists’ demand that the wage equilibrium reaches ever lower and thus more profit is generated for the capitalists. Thus the infertile cis women are treated with a violence and disregard almost nearing that of society's treatment of transgender women — for neither can give birth. And thus domestic relationships that do not produce children are condemned. But of course, sexual temporary queer relationships are allowed by the system, one which people are systemically prevented from dwelling on. This is not a new phenomenon. A similar dynamic perpetuated under feudalism,  often misguidedly glorified as “tolerance.” Yes, same-sex desire was sometimes tolerated but only so under a brutal condition: you had to marry heterosexually and produce legitimate heirs, especially if you had laid claim to divine blood to justify kingship. Your queer desires could be indulged in only with disposable prostitutes and concubines who held no legal or social claim. Hijra people, sometimes celebrated as tax collectors, were in a position akin to Jewish bankers in medieval Europe, funneled into a tokenized  role.  It was not acceptance, it was ghettoization. This historical arrangement is similar to the  status quo we find ourselves trapped in today, where married closeted politicians and businessmen lead double lives, who exploit lower-class LGBT  prostitutes in secret while publicly upholding the very laws that make that exploitation possible. And here, we reach our main discussion. To understand it, we must apply a simple theory from cybernetics created by Stafford Beer: “The purpose of a system is what it does.” As he stated, there is &quot;no point in claiming that the purpose of a system is to do what it constantly fails to do.” The purpose of a system is not what its creators or proponents  say it does in paper, but what it does in reality. What does the anti-LGBT system do? Does it stop the sexual activities of LGBT people? If it does, how come there is a  disproportionately large amount of LGBT prostitutes? What does denying a group of people anti-discrimination laws at educational institutions, workplace, medical institutions do? What does denying them marriage rights do? A child gets bullied for wanting to grow out its hair and look like a girl, it gets beaten by its teachers and classmates, its academic performance suffers. In a world where children are investments for the future of their parents, it is shaping up to be a sunk cost. What of marriage? Marriage is a form of investment into accessing connections, social capital and actual capital for the family. No marriage rights  for LGBT people  means no benefit to be gained from the child after it grows up on that angle too. So what happens is you pull out of bad investments. The child gets thrown out of home. The child has no access to education and thus no access to jobs. We glorify Hijra communes in our country, yes? Post-colonialists and decolonisers love to do so. The child, now homeless, goes to these hierarchical communes, and what happens when a community living in destitute, with no education nor jobs, has to resort to begging or prostitution, and prostitution pays so much more for the children? What happens when the rich men come down with money in their bags? What happens to the child? It. Gets. Raped. This, to the capitalists, is not a bug, it is the feature of the anti-LGBT system, the very purpose, to create  for them an ever-disposable supply of young flesh to abuse.  After all, these prostitutes don't make it to a very old age due to medical discrimination. They have no access to institutionally legitimized relationships, so their partner can not consent to life saving surgeries when they're unable to. They often due to the taboo perpetuated by the ruling class are kept secret from society by their partner and when they fall ill, do not even get a visit on their deathbed. And thus the older prostitutes die off to make place for the new ones. Thus keeps on eating ouroboros its tail. But worry not, true believers! Liberals will  surely destroy this material exploitation that benefits the ruling class by using cultural terms for transgender people. Surely, calling us marginalized gender instead of transgender will remove  the incentive of the ruling class to deny us legal rights! Surely, calling the child prostitute a performer or entertainer instead of a child prostitute will fix the issue they won't even acknowledge to exist there! This system has gone on since the feudalist era. Call us ghetuputro or hijra or koti or whatever you want, at the end of the day the result is the same, LGBTs get funneled into prostitution due to lack of legal rights.  I've explained in my manifesto at length how the lack of lgbt marriage rights incentivizes parents to throw out their queer children, funnels these homeless children into prostitution, how it causes lgbt relationships to be short lived and transactional, causes trans people to be abandoned by their cis partners. Causes institutional problems due to lack of relationship acknowledgement. Anyway, while gays are denied marriage rights due to not being reproductive, marriage's endgoal remains to maintain reproduction. Ideologies that are against letting homosexuals legally marry will inevitably allow child marriage and marital rape of cis girls and women and the pederasty and coerced prostitution of queers. Women are treated as reproductive properties. Due to this, rape is less a violation of the victim's body and more a trespassing onto the father's or the husband's property. Under this mindset, marital rape can not exist because the husband is the property owner and cannot trespass his own property, child marriage is acceptable as long as the child can birth babies because that's the condition of marriage being fulfilled. And because un-reproductive bodies are not marriageable, the femboys and trans women become un-rape-able even when they're funneled into prostitution as children and violated and penetrated against consent. By maintaining medical discrimination the ruling class ensures the early deaths of these prostitutes to keep the supply of flesh forever young and maintain the lack of life long formation of attachments. While the first world legalizes Igbt marriage, it utilizes NGOs and liberal intellectuals in the third world to argue against Igbt marriage rights due to depending on the labor of third worlds. As well as incentivizing third world queers to acquiesce to getting human trafficked by sex trafficking rings to first world countries hoping for freedom from bigotry. &quot;But won't homosexual marriage rights reinforce the patriarchal institution of marriage?&quot; I'm glad you asked! But no, it won't. Marriage is patriarchal due to it being designed as a ritual of reproduction. Reproduction legitimizes child marriage as long as the child bride gives birth. It legitimizes marital rape. Because gay relationships do not reproduce, marriage which for lgbts would be a ritual of social acknowledgement- actually subverts patriarchal values. Whereas without marriage, in secrecy lgbt relationships affirm patriarchal assignment of queers within the realm of secret hookups and prostitution. Saying marriage  is capitalistic and patriarchal so gays shouldn’t get marriage rights is like saying &quot;the state exists to protect capital so socialists shouldn’t want a socialist state&quot;. You people are dumbfucks. The reason the lgbt issue can't be fixed with a similar approach to cis people's issue is because cis people are not mostly comprised of prostitutes and clients, and lgbt people are mostly comprised of prostitutes and clients. So while &quot;most reported sexual violence comes from the family members&quot; applies to cis people, it wouldn’t apply to lgbt people whose suffered violence is coming on a great level from pimps and clients who view them as lesser than family — as well as the abuse of prostitutes generally being underreported and when reported under-documented. Liberals will see all of this, and they'll say &quot;Well, how about you teach parents not to throw their queer children out and teach queers to not abandon their partners&quot;. In this, they forego critique of  problems created by policies and laws to offer individualist solutions. Instead of changing the policies that cause this. Change the individual they say, because systems are just by individuals, and they ignore mentioning which class of individuals make these rules and laws. Which class of individuals with proclivity to be rapists and pederasts enjoy the benefits of homeless queer children desperate for money. And this is why I don't have any option but violence, because the liberals refuse to be honest. John F. Kennedy was an evil man who committed genocide on communists. But he, in his self-awareness, understood one thing: “Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.” Whenever feminists mention that women are 50% of the population, they're really making an appeal to utilitarianism for women's rights. Which is fine and well. Minorities, of course, failing to rely on such a percentage, for their rights need to make a different sort of appeal to utilitarianism. The one in which utilitarianism needs to bend to their needs  not out of the whims  of the majority but rather for the safety of the majority, which must be jeopardised by the minority  until the attainment of such goals.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* When in Western countries LGBT people have rights and non-Western countries’ LGBT population demands rights, then we are told, “LGBTs are Western culture,” and when the West takes away the rights of their LGBT communities, we are told, “Even the West doesn’t have LGBT rights, how can it be in Bangladesh?” It is their thought process that is centred around the Western ruling class, not my thought process. Free, free Palestine. Death to America. Death to Israel. The Western ruling class used to segregate black and white people 60 years ago, and enslaved them 200 years ago. Black people earned their rights through struggle and blood. So would any dumbass claim black civil rights is “western hegemony”? So the LGBT rights for which Harvey Milk was murdered, Marsha Johnson and Sylvie Rivera gave their lives for — why is it called western hegemony? Western right-wingers call our rights “cultural marxism,” and certain intellectuals in our country call our rights “ western hegemony”— that’s the extent of their cultural hegemony. Gramsci had mentioned hegemony in relation to the ruling class, as I care not for Western hegemony — neither do I respect Bengali feudalistic theocratic hegemony. Some even call our marriage rights “heteronormative”, which is like calling black people’s rights to vote “whitero-normative”.
** [https://bdfeministarchives.org/2025/08/23/press-conference-statement-of-sahara-chowdhury/ Press Conference Statement of Sahara Chowdhury]
* My name is Sahara Chowdhury. I am a trans woman. During the July Uprising, I fought against the despotic Awami regime. As did many LGBT people throughout Bangladesh, such as Priya Khan and Muntasir Rahman, the discriminatory removal of whom from the NCP political party was contributed to by the online doxxing (bullying) done to him by Sorowar. There is a gay man who had been shot during the protest whose case is still in the International Crime Tribunal. Despite the contribution of queer people in the July uprising, people like Mahtab and Sorowar publicly spoke against the government website for even giving the option to register transgender martyrs of the July movement— claiming our dead are unsuitable to share the “holy list” of other cisgender martyrs. To deny potential transgender martyrs of the July genocide the option to be documented is an act of genocide denial. I sought to combat their genocide denial as best as I could. It is in fact quite ridiculous and silly that Sorowar and Mahtab, after committing genocide denial and an active attempt at impeding documentation process regarding July martyrs based on identity politics, after doxxing LGBT people in the country again and again, are choosing to act like internet drawings and memes are the most grievous act of harm done to their personage. I merely whispered in the language they are the grammarians of. It is quite ironic that Sorowar, in a press briefing, wondered, after blaming LGBT people for Western imperialism for years, why he was being blamed for the burning of hijra pollis. I have chosen to file a GD in response to their exaggeration of the situation and attempts to instigate mobs. On 13th August, I was expelled from my university due to posting satirical and polemic cartoons depicting these two public figures, who have previously doxxed (bullied) a transgender worker at Walton simply for being trans. The university did not follow proper due process, did not give me a disciplinary hearing, I was notified of my expulsion through the public notice put out by them, and far as I understand it, the university was acting unconstitutionally in expelling me “for life”. For years, I have faced harassment, rumors, and threats that have more basis in reality than satirical cartoons. When I first came to the university, I was closeted and used the male restroom. After I came out as a trans woman, faculty told me to use the female restroom. Later, the then-VC and then-Registrar said I should use a teacher’s restroom instead. I asked again if I could use the female restroom, and they gave me permission for it. But false accusations sprang up online claiming I used both male and female restrooms whenever I wanted. The truth is, I simply did not drink water during the day to avoid using any restrooms at all. However, the false accusation continued to spread. This was just one part of a bigger smear campaign. Because I was a top student, certain classmates spread rumors that, because I am a trans woman, Western organizations were paying teachers to unethically raise my grades. Even the success of trans people is used against them. In Bangladesh, LGBT activists have been murdered. I have received countless death and rape threats myself. To show I would not hide, I described my daily routine for when I am outside in my social media profile pictures. It was my way of saying, “If you want to attack me, you know where to find me”, that I am not afraid of bigots. After July, in an unofficial student group chat, the students mocked the death of a trans woman named Shila and shared videos of trans women being stabbed. When I spoke against it, they sent me threats of physical violence. I reminded them that my profile picture already shows when I am outside. If they wanted to hurt me, they could find me. They claimed this was me threatening them. I was accused of terrorism, of threatening students, and of endangering others by posting a so-called university bus schedule. In reality, I had only mentioned the time I usually wait near the Tilagor over-bridge for transport. The campus is in Pirabazar. I never said it was the university bus, and I often take a public bus instead. On August 11, I posted satirical drawings of Mohammad Sarwar Hossain and Asif Mahtab Utsho, two men who have openly opposed trans rights. These cartoons were expressions of anger from someone who is and whose community is always under attack. My work was satirical and polemic. Even a few days prior, the intersex individual Porimoni’s shop was vandalized by a mob. That was real terrorism, that was real violence, not satirical cartoons. If my writings are called terrorism, then even Fanon’s Wretched of the Earth would be called terrorism. My works are a symbol of resistance against those genocide deniers who are against our civil rights.
** [https://bdfeministarchives.org/2025/08/23/press-conference-statement-of-sahara-chowdhury/ Press Conference Statement of Sahara Chowdhury]
* Reiterating my point once more, there has been a recent research that found the right wing conservative American states with the most amount of anti-transgender laws also have the most amount of searches for transgender pornography.     A lot of people found this funny or hypocritical. But really, there is no hypocrisy in this. What is the consequence of anti-transgender laws? The transgender kids get thrown out of home, they can't access education without bullying, they can't get jobs. What's the consequence of that? They turn to prostitution, becoming porn actors, and concubinism. So really, conservatives are simply maintaining their supply chain of vulnerable trans people to abuse. The purpose of a system is what it does, and this is the system they've built.     Like I always say, right wingers don't want to eradicate trans people completely, just like they don't want to eradicate cis women or black people. They want trans people in the lower station in the pyramid of hierarchy. They want trans people to live as sex objects without any legal recognition of marriage or institutional recognition and die after being abused and exploited. Eradicating cis women, black people, and trans people would mean right wingers can not exploit them any longer, right wingers just want to deny them legal rights to keep exploiting them. And that's worse. 
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* It's interesting that like conservatives, liberals too maintain a social hierarchy. Whereas conservatives' social hierarchy is based on who deserves more oppression, the liberal's social hierarchy is based on who deserves more liberation. They cite how &quot;even women don't have all the rights&quot; whenever lgbt rights are brought up. A pyramid of hierarchy for liberals.   At which point in the hierarchy do queers reside? There are always bigger issues than our plight before solving which our rights are impossible to acquire so surely this implies a laundry list. Imagine if American liberals began listing off how women — half the population of America — didn’t have all the rights every time the Black people fought for their rights in the civil rights era because after all, black people were merely 10 percent of the population while ignoring the existence of black women. Liberals' approach to lgbt people is for us to assume the role of an unseemly but non-malignant tumor on the body of society rather than being an actual organ. But at the end, non-malignant tumors are cut off just to maintain aesthetics.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Do you know why charities and ngos, even when people at the top weren’t swindling the money for themselves — never substantially improved transgender lives? In the context of Bangladesh where most trans people are funneled into slums and ghettos without marriage rights as prostitutes denied family having to rely on each other to survive? A vulnerable community specifically isolated into a patch of housing environment? Let's say you're a slum lord. And these trans people suddenly get money from charities. You as a slum landlord are not going to let them spend it on themselves. You're going to raise the fucking rent. And it's easy for you to raise the rent specifically for trans people rather than both trans and cis people because the trans people are all huddled into the same living environment.  So you see how it is? A community gets specifically targeted charity but it doesn’t do jack because the community is isolated and converged into the same space rather than being allowed to assimilate into society through institutions like marriage. And so the transgender  whore still ends up having to sell its body for rent and food, because the house always wins.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Are you familiar with the concept of endless war, son? the defining characteristics are:    1) Unclear objectives: goals are vague (as in &quot;defeating terrorism&quot;) rather than specific measurable targets.    2) Inability to win: a lack of capacity to achieve stated aims, yet no risk of outright defeat. 3) Lack of exit strategy: no defined endpoint or plan for withdrawal.    4) Protracted nature: lasts for years or decades with ongoing low-intensity engagement.    Endless wars are by design endless and exist to generate profit for capitalists through perpetual conflict. Often we've seen how the enemy fought by the imperialistic American military is funded by American government itself. Terrorists are not even their enemies but simple playmates. Now scale these geopolitical conflicts down. Think about how NGO queer leaders work in Bangladesh.     1) They have no objectives, their goal is never to win any legal rights or changing policies.   2) They themselves are defeatist and always act like they're on the losing side and yet not perish, they can not win and nor can they lose.   3) They have no goals such as achieving any laws or queer marriage rights and as such they lack an endpoint.   4) Due to this, aimlessly they work on keeping the lower class queer population hooked on drip-fed charity, their tactics are low intensity to the point of refusing to even use words like gay or transgender while working for these people. NGOs are leading an endless conflict with queer lives. they have no plan for achieving marriage rights or any other rights. Their goal is. Endless. Conflict. Without an end. To secure funding. These institutions can't end the injustices they claim to fight because resolving those injustices would make them extinct.  They oppose marriage rights because it is a goal. They cannot have a goal. They can only gesture vaguely at &quot;basic rights&quot; whenever legal marriage rights are brought up. They cannot let you have peace much like war profiteers because your misery is what feeds them. The conservatives are not even their enemies, but simple playmates.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Let's talk about how shallow anticonsumerism rhetoric gets used against marginalized communities. Now,  let me preface this saying: images of socialist  icons such as Che Guevara are mass produced on merchandises in sweatshops, Soviet Union hats are mass produced and sold in sweatshops— does that mean socialism is inherently a bourgeoisie ideology? Obviously, no, even an idiot knows that. Capitalism subsumes all aesthetics and symbols. This is known. Religious artifacts are mass produced too. Now are all muslims inherently consumerists and bourgeoisie because corporations mass produce products with stars and crescents and ottoman aesthetics and some muslims buy them? Obviously, no, once again! But then, some intellectual morons accuse the lgbt community of being consumerist soft-capitalists (a meaningless term) because sweatshops produce rainbow flags too and some lgbt people buy these mass produced merchandise. They claim they are not against men fucking men but they're against the various “lgbt labels”, because they claim the labels were invented to sell products targeted to these identities, which again is a moronic fucking claim. No, the labels needed to exist because an oppressed group of people who deal with intense illegalization and denial of rights (often even denied from participation in modes of production to even be considered part of the proletariat and thus forced to be lumpen prostitutes and criminals left historically ignored in socialist nations)  need a shared identity to build solidarity for each other. Of course capitalism capitalizes on the identity of the homosexual and transgender, it capitalizes on all fucking identities, this does not mean people of these identities thus become “bourgeoise” or that even most people of these identities even buy such merchandise. So to say that a community is bourgeoisie when most of them are poor and they're killed not only in the global south but also in the west is an inhumane fucking thing to do.   Let's about transsexuals. Trans people who takes hormones to ease their sense of dysphoria is condemned by these scholarly fuckturds for being “consumerist”, some point out various injustices in the creation of hormonal medicines to condemn it altogether and declare it unnatural. Motherfucker everything from polio vaccines to abortion to the understanding of anatomy has dark histories of abused marginalized people in them. Does this mean you'll reject these technologies that have already been developed? Do you reject medicines for the cold or glasses for  your eyes because blind people didn't have access to this technology before and thus it's unnatural to use it now? Secondly, there are trans people, chemists or people with chemical knowledge,  who produce their own hormones without buying from corporations. Tell me, are you fine with hormones created without corporate ties or do you think those trans people are “brainwashed” by the “big pharma” as well to sell more “products” and thus are deserving of condemnation? Are you against state produced estrogen and testosterone in socialist nations like Cuba that are beginning to stop fucking over trannies too? Or do you think trannies in socialist countries are brainwashed by the big pharma too? The funniest thing about traditionalists who are pro-natalists trying to frame transgender people as corporate-invention consumers of medicines is that you can frame those cishets as corporate-invention consoomers who are making the act of  creating babies a huge part of their identity and in the process are tricked into consoooming more and more resources and are tricked into spending  money to uh buy things. Its bullshit, just like framing trans people as slaves of consumer culture  is bullshit. But two can play at that game.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Those self-identified &quot;queer grassroot leaders&quot; calling for restrain and secrecy in lgbt activism and decrying people speaking out without consulting them— or general intellectual/politician horde, often identifying themselves  as leftists , do not apply actual proper class analysis but remain stuck in playing a form of identity politics.     For them, owning private property  is not an signifier of class but rather aesthetics are— the openly queer people attempting open nonsecret bold activism become &quot;privileged&quot; not due to ownership of private property  or by exploiting others' labor but due to the social conventions they break — due to contradicting these people  or being rude to them. Openly queer people are assumed to be rich and thus above the law by them — rather than being openly queer because they have nothing to lose.   Class reductionism done right is better than the form of identity politics which they play.  In Spivak's essay she asked &quot;can the subaltern speak&quot; and Bangladeshi leftists have turned it into an assertive sentence — the subaltern can not speak— and thus anyone who speaks is not qualified as a subaltern. Openly queer people advocating for legal rights  are framed as &quot;privileged&quot; and &quot;doing more harm than good&quot; for the queer  collective. Anyone breaking social conventions are framed as individualists and since asking for lgbt rights is breaking social conventions, thus the queer activists are individualists and individualism is a very very very no good bad bad word, saar. However, the downlow queer activists or leaders who call for secrecy and restrain are not promoting active collectivism. They're promoting passive collectivism, passive collectivism which  seeks to not make waves but help individuals within the community through charity and access to resources. Which ironically enough can be called a form of individualism itself — queer  individuals are getting help through charity— but the system that denies them legal rights collectively is not confronted. For the bourgeoisie, the hierarchy-based society is what grants them power and privilege — and for the proletariat, the hierarchy is the cause of their suffering. Herein lies the contradiction of bourgeois charity — if the goal of charity is to alleviate suffering, then charity must dismantle the hierarchy rather than reinforce it — but that would require the bourgeoisie to act against their class interest — thus bourgeois charity is self-contradictory and can never alleviate suffering in any meaningful way but only exist to reinforce the status quo by being a tool of dominance-assertion for the ruling class which simultaneously frames them as “good people”. And thus passive collectivism is a form of individualism. I could try to argue that I am  attempting to mobilisea the community toward collective action as an individual  and that even if my actions end up hurting the collective as it always does when lgbt controversy goes viral — that in the long term it will do more good by alleviating systemic oppression and the queer activists now are thinking of short term &quot;good&quot;. But that would be rebutted with a simple &quot;ah but you will fail to change legal policies, and so there will only be short term harm without long term good&quot;.  In this case, I would not have any particular argument to provide in order to moralize my actions.  And thus I would simply accept accusations of amorality and  privilege as a part of what I am and what I do. I will simply identify myself as a knowingly harmful privileged element. The question is what's next? What can you sniveling fuckwads do after that — beyond having me arrested or killing me? I accept death. I have walked into places as bombs were being thrown. I have walked toward gunfires with nothing but bricks in my hands. I have been beaten and raped as a joke. What can you do to me that has not been done? Mine is the privilege of being Death incarnate. I moralize none of my actions— I ask no pity for what might happen to me. I preach violence for the sake of violence— conflict for the sake of conflict— whether it's sustainable or effective does not matter to me. My complete agency and its negative consequences I fully accept. Cower before my omnipotence and repent.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* The problem that is happening now is that these fringe political groups are framing themselves as ordinary people. They are not ordinary people. The ordinary people were here all day. They did nothing. They are not against us. If they make any public statement against us, it will be because of pressure from those political parties — because they have to live here. If they go against the political party, the party has state power. The party will come and demolish their stalls. So the point is that ordinary people are not against us. I was interacting with ordinary people all day. Ordinary people did nothing. The ones who are against us are a few lifeless, subhuman people, people like animals. Their job is to establish fascism. And the fact that they have started this recently — they got this from the West too. In the West as well, there wasn’t much major opposition to transgender people for a long time. After 2016, Ben Shapiro, Michael Walsh — these kinds of Zionists, these Israel-supporting people — started speaking against transgender people. Meanwhile we can see that transgender and gay people in Western countries have united and stood against their aggression, spoken against their imperialism, worked against Israel’s genocide of Palestinian people. There is Queer for Palestine. There are many groups like this. These people in the West carry on their work. But here in Bangladesh, right-wingers like Sarwar Hossain (Sorowar Hossain) — when Trump speaks against transgender people, when Michael Walsh speaks against transgender people, when their driving forces speak against transgender people, they don’t notice that these same people defend Israel. These same people carry out genocide in Palestine, carry out genocide in UNRWA. Then they take the side of these genocidal imperialists and say — &quot;well, since they speak against transgender people, they must be good.&quot;
** [https://zahranesque.substack.com/p/how-the-right-wing-decides-who-counts How the Right-Wing Decides Who Counts as Intersex, Trans, or Gay]
* Politicians (like Sarjis Alam) often present &quot;conversion therapy&quot; as an answer to lgbt people. This of course is to sate rich parents who worry their children might be lgbt and as a result suffer bigotry. Conversion therapy will of course only be accessible to the rich. Poor people won't be able to afford institutionally torturing their children under guise of therapy. So in the present dynamic in which lower class visibly queer lgbts are funneled into prostitution and rich people who are closeted exploit them — conversion therapy acts as a course correction or safeguard for lgbt people born to rich parents who may rebel against this social dynamic in their youth and come out of closet. Thus conversion &quot;therapy&quot; is used to torture them until they agree to get back to closet and dance to the tune of status quo and be one of those miserable closeted cishet-married middle aged people cheating on their partner— and this therapy/torture is a social symbol of repentance/redemption from their &quot;temporary corruption by the lgbt agenda&quot;. Thus conversion therapy is offered to rich parents as an alternative to lgbt rights, and it appeals to them because civil rights for lgbts would apply to all classes — meanwhile  conversion therapy  is an exclusive &quot;solution&quot; to the rich. 
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* On a class interest level, the hijra underling and the transgender are not opponents— but the hijra guruma and the transgender are in class conflict and are opponents.   Transgenderism introduces an idea of gender deviancy in this region that does not require submission to an authority or leadership figure like the guruma.   Because the guruma exploits the underling's money from begging and selling them into sexual contracts (with the client base often extending to India), on an existential level the idea of gender-deviants not flocking together and instead  trying to establish  their legal rights/ability to perpetuate life  outside the hijra system is a threat to gurumas' labor capital. [This does not mean transgenderism without trans rights would end trans people's funneling toward sex work, it would simply either 1) make them their own solicitor or more likely 2) make a pimp who is not the guruma the solicitor, which nonetheless destabilizes their power]   Of course there are &quot;good&quot; gurumas, as there are feudal lords who maybe personally a &quot;good&quot; person, but on a systemic level the hijra caste is not sustainable in a way that does not leave the underlings traumatized and exploited. And people who can not think systemically and are hooked on addlepated  micro-narratives will be offended at the suggestion.  Whereas the Awami League constitutional  framing of hijra as an &quot;intersex&quot; identity is ahistorical and many hijra guruma want a form of legal recognition that recognizes it as an identity adjacent profession (in simpler term a caste and their goal being to legally perpetuate this caste due to their benefit incentive), the transgender identity if legally recognized would be so outside this caste system.  The hijra legal recognition right now does not really fully benefit even the gurumas as it limits the definition to &quot;intersex&quot; (and only the ones whose genitalia are variant, not the chromosomal or hormone variant ones) so on a legal basis  most of them are not covered by it, although the gurumas can still use this to control their commune members by reporting to cops of the ones trying to leave the hijra system without forsaking their gender presentation as &quot;fake hijras&quot;, which the legal definition of hijras as intersex would get the hypothetical underling in trouble cause the cops will be checking the underling's genitals rather than the wealth-backed gurumas'.  Fuckass libshits will frame this as a colonial individualism (trans) versus traditional collective (hijra) issue, rather than a non-feudal identity versus feudal identity or non-labor-exploitative versus labor-exploitative  issue.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* When invisibility and safe space queer people as their life-support embrace: queers who are inherently visible are seen by them as life-threat, risible, deserving of condemnation, scorn, fear. To preserve their cherished “safety” so dear. Lest the masses be reminded that they do indeed exist, much to their dismay. Thus: the girly faggot, the manly dyke, Also the tranny- they come to dislike. And thus they blame their oppression onto those wretches, ones who suffer the most too. That's how we cannibalize each other. And that's the way how brother kills brother.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* There are ones who view trans women as predatory men, and ones who view trans women as privileged past men who lost their privilege and &quot;became&quot; something closer to women.   Transphobia  is viewed by them as a byproduct of misogyny seeking to subjugate wombyns rather than its own construct used to specifically subjugate and exploit trans people.   Thus transitioning and all the violence trans people face associated with transitioning is not for trans people to own but for wombyns to own. This is a framing almost of a criminal who has been captured and disgraced, is to be pitied now for that disgrace, but there may still be in him the qualities that drove him to banditry.   The reason I say I'm gay man now is because they view gay men as having power over women and being male privileged. And it is better to be viewed as possessing  of more power than less, because the liberals' approach to marginalized communities is not to allocate power, but to remind them that they're powerless and should bow and kneel in accordance.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Liberals preach on about their empathy, they've turned empathy into a weapon — not against oppressors but against the oppressed. Their opposition to homophobia and transphobia is a controlled opposition. They will say you too deserve empathy, that you too are human, that they feel sorrow at your plight — but they're the vultures of sorrow. Their sorrow exists only to assert their humanity, but does not transmute into legal change. Their intention is not legal change nor doing any actual improvement beyond charity for lgbt people— it is to maintain the conditions which creates the necessity for charity. Their empathy is a jackboot.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* More queers in Bangladesh have died from lack of systemic legal recognition and the lack of civil rights than they have died from hate crimes for advocating for their civil rights.   Queers die from hate crimes in countries with lgbt friendly laws too. The only difference is Bangladeshis use the deaths of Xulhaz and his partner as the unending sob story and scareshow instead of keeping on fighting. Do I come across as crass? Do I seem disrespectful to the weight of their deaths? Because their deaths have already been made weightless by people who used it as an excuse to give up the fight.  Anyway Bangladeshi lgbts who seek to apply for asylum abroad  probably have a vested interest in keeping the country's anti-lgbt laws unchanged, just saying.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* The problem with queer people is that a lot of them think they're an inherently liberated people.   It’s the notion that queerphobia exists simply as a tool to keep women in their station under patriarchy rather than something that exists to directly exploit queers and keep queers in their station as well. For queers to acknowledge that society has a station for them is to accept that they're not free agents and it scares them. They would prefer imagining that the brothels or the underworld network they inhabit is somehow separated from the status quo, but they're part of the status quo, that is your station. You're not free by choosing not to be in a family, by choosing not to be in a heterosexual relationship. Even the nature of your homosexual relationship is dictated by capital. When you're taking the role of a sugar baby, when you're being a prostitute or concubine, when you're visibly queer but your partner keeps you secret and it reduces your chances of survival — that's all dictated by capital. It's not a coincidence, you don't belong to a parallel power, the underground network isn’t parallel power, your relationships are not a product of a parallel structure, it's part of state and capital, you're not a destabilizing force just by existing, you're still a part of this structure.    Your continuous life or mere existence if you're lgbt actually IS NOT a middle finger to the status quo in itself. People say existence is resistance as a fucking cope to compensate for their impotency.  Because the ruling class only acts like they want you dead.   They actually don't.   They want instead for you to suffer perpetually.   They want you to exist, but barely, beneath their feet in the social hierarchy, so they can feel like they're above someone else. So they can feel like they're better, so they can continue to exploit you.  If your whole community died, if all the marginalized people died, these people wouldn’t know what to do with themselves, they would have to create  divides within themselves just to stand on the top of someone else.  Your mere existence, such is why, is not revolutionary in itself— until you start doing activities that can directly destabilize their foothold on the pyramid of social hierarchies. 
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Nothing incurs more  disgust and loathing in me more than the term &quot;safe space&quot;— be it for race, religion, women or lgbts.   Ritualized and institutionalized cowardice and performative fragility.  Fascism comes  to Bangladesh under the guise of creating safe spaces.  There is no greater  joke for Bangladeshi lgbt peoplSpaces   the phrase &quot;safe space&quot;. You can have no safe space in a nation which laws criminalize you, disallows you from having marriage or civil union rights, disallows your loved one the consent to put you on life support or bury you. Safe space is then a boiling water at best which cooks you and you can not tell because the flames are out of your sight.  The only real safety is in the weapon of your hand.  You must reject the illusion of safe spaces. You must reject incremental change. It has to be accelerationism on either direction.  It's a fucking joke seeing cowardly senior lgbt leaders unironically trying to fearmonger against the idea of  lgbts coming out of the closet and demanding legal rights despite knowing how many lgbt people closeted and out of closet were out there in the streets during July already acquainted with the bloodbath and now don't even have any future social or legal  security  to mentally recover from it or find a sense of normalcy through a domestic life that their straight and cis counterparts have and thus have no reason to fear loss of life or violence.   I have stood against people  with guns and bombs, what fear do I have against blades?  What do I have to look forward to — other than either domesticity or death?  &quot;Safe spaces&quot; for liberals to hang out in without any specific goals give them an inert impotent private outlet for their energy that could've been better utilized in disruptive public actions. Due to conservative aggression and taboos they operate on pure superego in public, and in safe spaces as compensation, they revert to pure id. In either spaces their ego is unutilized. As a result, because safe spaces are always compromised, they end up looking that much like clowns when they're exposed in public. Safe spaces are the fascism's carrot to fascism's stick.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Hope can be a shitty thing sometimes. When you're getting kicked in the belly, sometimes it can stop you from hitting back the person kicking you in the hope your passivity will arouse a sense of sympathy in them and make them stop. That hope is the other side of the fear that hitting the person hitting you will make them hit you more. People talk about crippling dread, but hope can be crippling too. There is the sort of despair that snuffs out all your energy and leaves you a living corpse and there is the type that motivates you into action with the intent of going down swinging. Can't escape despair as much as choose which kind to give yourself into.   People talk about how the state of the world should &quot;radicalize your rather than lead you to despair&quot; but you can't get radicalized without being chin deep in despair, honestly. The kind of change the world needs right now can only be brought in by a mass movement of suicidal and desperate working class people ready to go down swinging. But we're all dreaming that things might get better. And we won't do the things that need to be done until we give up on that dream. Until we start to truly, properly despair.  
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Genocides against queers can never be permanent —but only perpetual— because we don't repopulate like ethnic minorities from ancestors to descendants. Unfortunately this also means we will never have a permanent diaspora. You can't ever move all the queers abroad to a comparatively safe zone or whatever because they will just repopulate the next generation.   So the only possible option to leave a better world for the future is improving the ground where you stand on. Because you'll never be able to take all your people away. You will never be Moses. All your people will become enslaved once more, the Pharaoh can never let them go. And so you must kill the Pharaoh.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* The other day this  guy in a seminar  was talking about some &quot;Oh the lgbt culture in America was more radical before they got their rights&quot;. Were they? Were they? Rich powerful wankers like fucking FBI head J Edgar Hoover and conservative cuck Roy Cohn were bruising the innards of male survival sex workers in secret orgies back then. What, are you gonna pretend abusive rich paypigs aren’t a fundamental part of queer culture when not having rights are forcing our kids into the streets?  And you’ve had  armed trannies and gays wearing soviet hats organizing the streets  now and even the past two decades there.  We're just fucking people dude. We'll be shitty people and good people with or without rights — just the lives of lower class ones would be somewhat fucking easier. And we see now too don't we? Awami League has as many queer supporters as fucking Maoist groups have queer people in them. So what the fuck are you talking about, what the fuck homonationalist crap theories are you waving in front of my face? Fuck your theory.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* I've gone at length in my manifesto  about how the denial of lgbt marriage rights is killing and putting  lgbt people on an early  grave systemically. So when our legal rights would require no state funds to be wasted, why are we denied it?  Liberals posit that our issues are secondary to anti-imperialism, socialism, feminism and macroeconomics in general —often portraying us as an obstacle to these things even. They condemn the NGO queers, but they never empower the voices of the non-NGO queers. They condemn BAL queers, but never embolden the voices of the queers who fought in the streets in July, supported it intellectually and in the background with resources. They claim queers must remain silent until patriarchy is destroyed and women are at equal standing with men and make no progress in feminism either beyond shallow wins. They claim that  queer rights are impossible in a poor country and that queers are all rich while poor queers bear the double burden of class and queerphobia.    So the question comes— decades of lgbts prostituting away and dying —and have you managed to make a dent on the American empire? Has socialism been established in your country?  Has feminism made strides? Has the economy been bolstered in the absence of lgbt rights as we died like dogs?  So, their opposition to queer rights is obviously not rational. And in this irrationality do we find their faith — that if they systemically lavish onto enough of us passive deaths that their cause will be bolstered. As if we are the human sacrifices to the gods of Feminism, Socialism, Economy  and Anti-imperialism.  No, this is a fine view to have. I'm not critiquing it, merely describing it. So why are their gods not listening to their prayers? I posit this is because queer lives cut short by systemic denial has cheapened our blood and flesh so much that we hold no longer any value as human sacrifices. My suggestion to these leftists and liberals would then be to sacrifice their own family members and children to this cause.   Be Agamemnon. Be victorious. And may the knives of the Clytemnestras spare ye.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* In times of economical instability, war, disaster or famine— if a particular community in a war-affected society stops being a concern, if oppressing  that particular community by the majority of that society starts becoming fine, if killing its people starts being fine because there are bigger problems, because the majority killing the minority are themselves under threat from a different global superpower — then that minority community was never not killable.  Liberals frame lgbt marriage rights as utopian, as a luxury item. Lgbts can fight for legal marriage recognition only after all other problems in the world have been solved according to liberals. Even though the lack of it systemically kills us, even though granting it to us would require spending not a single penny of state funds. And this frames lgbt lives as killable in any context other than an utopia. Because in any context other than an utopia our lives are worthless.   The conservatives who want to kill lgbt people both when the economy is unstable and even when the economy is stable are more honest  about it. Because their hatred is unconditional. Meanwhile the liberals' allyship is conditional. And unconditional hate is superior to conditional care.  There is only gleeful butchering and unambiguous  solidarity. And either is fine. But the devil's work is what it is done in the middle of that spectrum.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* &quot;We should care more about changing social values first instead of changing laws that could help the marginalized!&quot;  My brother in folly, the only reason you continue to walk on god's green earth is because I want to avoid the legal consequences of killing you with hammers rather than any socially installed values of empathy for people like you.  Bangladeshi liberals exhaust me because they identify  a problem like child marriage and proceed to say shit like &quot;changing laws has no point, we must dismantle the ideology&quot;.  No one is going to hear you preach to them. It's not a matter of simple ideology. If a poor family has the option to legally sell their children to a rich man, they will sell their children to a rich man. You need to ban child marriage to make it harder for them to do it. There will still be children slipping through the cracks in the safety net, but your goal is tightening the net, and making sure there's a safety net preventing the marriage at all. You can't simply vaguely gasture at a &quot;dismantling of ideology&quot; one day without taking the most obvious step first. This is a meaningless exercise. We can't stop all of the child marriages but we can stop at least a huge portion of them and we won't take the steps necessary for even that because we have fucking cucked ourselves into uttering buzzwords and phrases like &quot;changing social values is more important than changing laws&quot; without ever actually going anywhere.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* In my opinion, one does not truly believe in a cause if one is not prepared to die for it. I'm willing to and have prepared myself to eventually be killed for being lgbt. Most people who want to deny trans people transition facilities, legal recognition or lgbt people the marriage rights are not prepared to die for the cause of denying those things to us, because after all these things don't really directly impact them much. Nonetheless— their belief-less efforts for lgbtphobic causes, often originating from having the same acceptable opinion as the next person, often originating from an attempt to fit in - manages to cause harm due to the majority of their numbers. This is the most depressing aspect of lgbtphobia, a dispassionate disregard is enough to deny you a family of your own. Hence the dispassionate disregard of the upper middle class and rich must be turned into something else. It must be turned into fear.  In fact, since I'm trying my best to get killed, if i end up succeeding in finding death, do not present any rhetorics that ask people to sympathize with me, that'd not jive with my edgelord extremist era. Acknowledge that I've made my decisions in sound mind and move on. I make no appeals to the humanity of inhumans.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* It's not about whether my existence is ethical, it's not about whether I deserve to exist, it's not about whether religion or science justifies my existence— but that I do exist — and I do seek legal recognition for my marriage  and  for my decriminalization — and if I can not have it I will destroy everything, and that you can not destroy me in any meaningful way because lgbt people will reappear in your homes the next generation and they will follow my example of destruction, and you cannot have peace and security without granting it to us.  I lose members of my community to passive systemic violence that results in their demise in lonely  deathbeds left unattended by their closeted partners too scared to come out. It's a mad unjust world and the only sane course of action is to return it with the same unjust madness and disregard for innocent lives it has bestowed on my people. The liberals don't give a shit about us and the leftists see our plight as culture war and the climate change will kill us all in two decades and I can't, in the last few years of my life left to me, after all the violence, after all the fights I fought for this country in July, the life risks I took — I can't even experience a moment of sunset with a husband, sit with him in a park for a picnic, hold his hand in public, rest my head on his shoulder— while the libleft cunts tell me marriage doesn't matter and legalization doesn’t matter while they themselves marry and the leftist dickless spineless gutless worms call the lgbt community consumerist or bourgeoise or colonizers of western hegemony — as the feminists act like trans women were part of patriarchy before transitioning as if we weren't put through psychological, physical  and sexual torture since childhood for acting feminine when the concepts of masculinity and femininity weren't even distinct to us and thus it is acceptable to mock and deride us as long as done from a feminist talking point —  and there is no political organized fight for my kin— why would I not be angry? My anger or madness is not irrational, it's the state of mind I logically  decided to arrive on. I trained myself to think of physical pain as a mere emotion that can be not  felt in order to deal with the pain of beatings and stone-peltings and other forms of physical abuse. I am an extremely controlled individual.  I do not feel anything that I do not want to feel, I do not think anything that I do not want to think, I have decided under cold consideration, that having left no peaceful methods of furthering or acquiring rights for this people, the only option left is violence and death.  We are an endless horde. If we are to be monsters before committing you harm, then we shall be monsters afterwards. If we are marked as the destroyers of your civilization as your civilization crushes us — then we shall fulfill your accusing prophecy.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* Bigotry will forever exist, you will always hear slurs. You will often need to fight physically. This is unavoidable. The point of  legal rights is to give you the slightest chance of survival. Of course it won't solve all your problems. Of course your parents won't say they'll love you forever no matter what like some cheesy Hollywood movie. The point of legal rights is to give you a lifeline to hold as you drown, of course it's not a magical solution to all of your problems. But it needs to exist just for that
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury
* What I contend with is the burden of agency. The  despair in knowing things are not hopeless. I can not say &quot;I must be closeted&quot; or &quot;legal queer rights in Bangladesh are not possible&quot; because I know these things to be false. I know possible are all things that we make them to be. I can not find solace in hopelessness. I can not say &quot;there was nothing I could've done&quot; or &quot;this was beyond my hands&quot; because I know these things to be lies that the powerful also say.  If I was murdered or arrested/vanished, my agency properly robbed and I was made truly helpless and incapable of making change— then I could find in my inability to make change some semblance of peace. The self-allowance for rest.
** [https://www.scribd.com/document/1012085981/Bangladeshi-Queer-Manifesto-A-Manifesto-on-Queer-Vigilantism-Updated-Version Bangladeshi Queer Manifesto: A Manifesto on Queer Vigilantism] by Sahara Chowdhury</text>
      <sha1>9gva0kuwc3bniyc8hmuuwgnpfvrn933</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Last words in The Boys media</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>307262</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943873</id>
      <parentid>3943761</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:15:13Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* External links */</comment>
      <origin>3943873</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="16801" sha1="6ngpblyphrd0myoveqjk2irxmfkzy58" xml:space="preserve">Following is a list of last words from ''[[w:The Boys (franchise)|The Boys]]'' franchise.

{{Stub}}
==Comics==
*'''&lt;big&gt;YOU FUCKING FUCKING FUCK!! YOU FUCKED MY LIFE!!!&lt;/big&gt;'''
**Who: Homelander
**Source: Issue #65
**Note: Beaten and torn apart by Black Noir, who is revealed to be a clone of Homelander created by Vought-American as a fail-safe to kill him if he ever went rogue.

==TV Series==
===''[[The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]'' (2019-2026)===
*'''Well, I mean, we can't keep, you know, laying pipe at your dad's place. Trying to be all quiet. Staring up at that dumb Billy Joel post- ...poster.'''
**Who: Robin Ward
**Source: Season 1, Episode 1 &quot;The Name of the Game&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie Campbell before she is accidentally disintegrated by A-Train, who is running at superhuman speed while intoxicated by Compound V, briefly acknowledging the accident before running away.
*'''Oh, my God.'''
**Who: Mayor Steve of Baltimore
**Source: Season 1, Episode 1 &quot;The Name of the Game&quot;
**Note: Said after Homelander fires his heat vision in the plane Steve and his son are at.
*'''Aren't you guys friends?'''
**Who: Mason
**Source: Season 1, Episode 1 &quot;The Name of the Game&quot;
**Note: Said to his father Mayor Steve before Homelander fires his heat vision in the plane he is at.
*'''Attaboy.'''
**Who: Translucent
**Source: Season 1, Episode 2 &quot;Cherry&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie after he lets him out, only for Hughie to blow him up with a detonator implanted on him by Butcher and Frenchie.
*'''I'm a filthy little pig who likes to eat ass.'''
**Who: Aleksy Lutz
**Source: Season 1, Episode 3 &quot;Get Some&quot;
**Note: Aleksy’s head is accidentally crushed by Popclaw.
*'''Mani? Pedi? Special deal.'''
**Who: Roberta Cho
**Source: Season 1, Episode 4 &quot;The Female of the Species&quot;
**Note: Beaten and torn apart by Kimiko.
*'''Why?'''
**Who: Popclaw
**Source: Season 1, Episode 5 &quot;Good for the Soul&quot;
**Note: Forced into a heroin overdose by A-Train.
*'''Please, I have a daughter! NO!'''
**Who: Mesmer
**Source: Season 1, Episode 7 &quot;The Self-Preservation Society&quot;
**Note: Beaten to death by Butcher.
*'''I'm scared of you...'''
**Who: Madelyn Stillwell
**Source: Season 1, Episode 8 &quot;You Found Me&quot;
**Note: Killed by Homelander, who burns her face with heat vision.
*'''BURN IN TRUTH!'''
**Who: Naqib
**Source: Season 2, Episode 1 &quot;The Big Ride&quot;
**Note: Spoken in Arabic; decapitated by Black Noir.
*'''The whole picture? It's Vought. It's a fucking coup from the inside.'''
**Who: Susan Raynor
**Source: Season 2, Episode 1 &quot;The Big Ride&quot;
**Note: Said before her head is exploded by Victoria Neuman.
*'''I love you too.'''
**Who: Kenji Miyashiro
**Source: Season 2, Episode 3 &quot;Over the Hill with the Swords of a Thousand Men&quot;
**Note: Spoken in Japanese to his sister Kimiko; Kenji's neck is snapped by Stormfront.
*'''Why are you doing this to me, lady? 'Aren't you supposed to be a hero?!'''
**Who: Myron Hunter
**Source: Season 2, Episode 4 &quot;Nothing Like It in the World&quot;
**Note: He was killed by Liberty in a racially motivated beating after falsely accusing him of committing a robbery due to fitting the suspect's profile.
*'''Oh, you're so special. The most special man on the planet. Everybody loves you. Everybody. Their love is your strength.'''
**Who: Doppelganger
**Source: Season 2, Episode 4 &quot;Nothing Like It in the World&quot;
**Note: His neck is snapped by Homelander.
*'''I'm not doing any more of these stupid pet tricks until I talk to my sister!'''
**Who: Tim
**Source: Season 2, Episode 6 &quot;The Bloody Doors Off&quot;
**Note: Burned alive by Lamplighter.
*'''I don't want them to hurt me again...'''
**Who: Sage Grove EMP Supe
**Source: Season 2, Episode 6 &quot;The Bloody Doors Off&quot;
**Note: Blown up by Cindy during a riot.
*'''I just wanted to make my dad proud...'''
**Who: Lamplighter
**Source: Season 2, Episode 7 &quot;Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker&quot;
**Note: Commits suicide by immolation after realizing Vought erased his legacy.
*'''I do.'''
**Who: Jonah Vogelbaum
**Source: Season 2, Episode 7 &quot;Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker&quot;
**Note: Head blown up by Victoria Neuman to stop him from testifying against Vought, on Stan Edgar's orders.
*'''You promised me you'd keep him safe.'''
**Who: Rebecca &quot;Becca&quot; Butcher
**Source: Season 2, Episode 8 &quot;What I Know&quot;
**Note: Throat accidentally cut with lasers by her son Ryan when he tried to kill Stormfront.
*'''Wait. Please... ''Please''.'''
**Who: TBD
**Source: Season 2, Episode 4 &quot;What I Know&quot;
**Note: Critically injured by Ryan's heat vision. Those are her last spoken lines before she commits suicide off-screen. 
*'''No. No, please. Oh God, OH GOD!'''
**Who: Chelsea
**Source: Season 3, Episode 2 &quot;The Only Man in the Sky&quot;
**Note: Forced to jump off a building by Homelander.
*'''Okay, please! Please, look. Fuck, I told you everything I know. Alright? Please, just, just–'''
**Who: Gunpowder
**Source: Season 3, Episode 2 &quot;The Only Man in the Sky&quot;
**Note: Head accidentally lasered in half by Billy Butcher for trying to kill him.
*'''Fuck! FUCK!'''
**Who: Swatto
**Source: Season 3, Episode 4 &quot;Barbary Coast&quot;
**Note: Blown up with a missile during an attack by Russian soldiers.
*'''I didn't love you. I hated you. We all did.'''
**Who: Crimson Countess
**Source: Season 3, Episode 4 &quot;The Last Time to Look on This World of Lies&quot;
**Note: Incinerated by Soldier Boy for selling him out to the Russians.
*'''TNT! Detonate!'''&quot;&quot;
**Who: TNT Twins
**Source: Season 3, Episode 6 &quot;Herogasm&quot;
**Note: Accidentally incinerated by Soldier Boy after he had a PTSD-induced flashback.
*'''The fuck?! Get your fucking hands off me!'''
**Who: Blue Hawk
**Source: Season 3, Episode 6 &quot;Herogasm&quot;
**Note: Dragged to death by A-Train for paralyzing Nathan.
*'''HELP ME! SOMEONE, PLEASE HELP-'''
**Who: Termite
**Source: Season 3, Episode 6 &quot;Herogasm&quot;
**Note: Left powerless by Soldier Boy's radioactive blast, and stepped on by Homelander.
*'''Come off it, Billy. You always have been, 'cause anyone who's ever loved you, you end up getting them killed, don't you? Me. Becca. Now Hughie, the last person on God's green earth trying to stop you from being a monster and what do you do? Drag him down to your level. When he dies, and he will, then no one can stop you. Can they?'''
**Who: Lenny Butcher
**Source: Season 3, Episode 7 &quot;Here Comes a Candle to Light You to Bed&quot;
**Note: Said in a hypnosis-induced nightmare; Shot himself in the head after being abandoned by Billy with their abusive father.
*'''They gave him the green-light!'''
**Who: Mindstorm
**Source: Season 3, Episode 7 &quot;Here Comes a Candle to Light You to Bed&quot;
**Note: Stabbed to death by Soldier Boy for selling him out to the Russians.
*'''MUST KILL HIM'''
**Source: Season 3, Episode 8 &quot;The Instant White-Hot Wild&quot;
**Note: Punctured through chest and disemboweled by Homelander for not telling him about his father. Said words are written.
*'''FUCK YOU, FASCIST!'''
**Who: Ronan Keatings
**Source: Season 3, Episode 8 &quot;The Instant White-Hot Wild&quot;
**Note: Lasered by Homelander for throwing a can at Ryan.
*'''JESUS!'''&quot;&quot;
**Who: Todd
**Source: Season 4, Episode 1 &quot;Department of Dirty Tricks&quot;
**Note: Beaten to death with a bat by Black Noir II, on Homelander's orders, orchestrated by Sister Sage.
*'''Who are you?'''
**Who: Koy
**Source: Season 4, Episode 2 &quot;Life Among the Septics&quot;
**Note: Accidentally thrown into a building by Ryan Butcher during a fake mission, on Homelander's orders.
*'''You know, you-'''
**Who: Splinter
**Source: Season 4, Episode 2 &quot;Life Among the Septics&quot;
**Note: Stabbed in the head with a crowbar by Billy Butcher in self-defense.
*'''Yes, Starlight did call me a few days ago. She just... Wanted some help tracking-''' 
**Who: Anika
**Who: TBD
**Source: Season 4, Episode 3 &quot;We'll Keep the Red Flag Flying Here&quot;
**Note: Lasered in the head by Homelander for contacting Starlight.
*'''''Homelander! DON'T DO THIS! No!'''''
**Who: Frank
**Source: Season 4, Episode 4 &quot;Wisdom of the Ages&quot;
**Note: Incinerated by Homelander in a oven in revenge.
*'''I'm sorry...'''
**Who: Martin
**Source: Season 4, Episode 4 &quot;Wisdom of the Ages&quot;
**Note: Head crushed by Homelander after being lasered through the groin in revenge.
*'''What do you think you're doing?'''
**Who: Ezekiel
**Source: Season 4, Episode 4 &quot;Wisdom of the Ages&quot;
**Note: Eviscerated by Butcher (&quot;Joe Kessler&quot;) offscreen
*'''SOMEONE SET ME UP! SOMEONE SET ME UP! ''I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!'''''
**Who: Cameron Coleman
**Source: Season 4, Episode 5 &quot;Beware the Jabberwock, My Son&quot;
**Note: Beaten to death by the The Deep, Black Noir II, Firecracker, Cate Dunlap, Sam Riordan and Tek Knight, on Homelander's orders, set up by Ashley Barrett, orchestrated by Sister Sage.
*'''Oh, yeah! The three of us... The three of us... Visit all those... those spots where... Tom... Tom Hanks...'''
**Who: Hugh Campbell Sr.
**Source: Season 4, Episode 5 &quot;Beware the Jabberwock, My Son&quot;
**Note: Euthanized by Hughie Campbell to stop the side-effects of Compound V.
*'''Look, I don't know anything else, okay?! That's all!'''
**Who: Tek Knight
**Source: Season 4, Episode 6 &quot;Dirty Business&quot;
**Note: Strangled by Elijah.
*'''It wasn't me. No, please!'''
**Who: Webweaver
**Source: Season 4, Episode 7 &quot;The Insider&quot;
**Note: Ripped in half by Homelander after being discovered by Firecracker as a spy of The Boys.
*'''I love you...'''
**Who: Ambrosius
**Source: Season 4, Episode 7 &quot;The Insider&quot;
**Note: Suffocated after her tank was broken by The Deep.
*'''You couldn't even blast yourself out, could you?'''
**Who: The Shapeshifter
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Strangled to death by Starlight to save Robert Singer and The Boys.
*'''N-No, I'm not, I swear...'''
**Who: Evan Lambert
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Face crushed with a punch by The Deep during a purge of Vought employees, on Homelander's orders.
*'''''I'm sorry.'''''
**Who: Grace Mallory
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Neck broken accidentally after being thrown into a wall by Ryan Butcher for trying to detain him.
*'''I will owe you many.'''
**Who: Victoria Neuman
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Ripped in half by Billy Butcher (&quot;Joe Kessler&quot;) after attempting to ally with The Boys.
*'''I-It ain't gonna change nothing!'''
**Who: Sam Butcher
**Source: Season 5, Episode 1 &quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;
**Note: Killed by Billy Butcher and his body thrown into the River Thames offscreen.
*'''You’re just an empty fucking suit. Take away those powers…and what are you, huh? A pathetic, weak, sniveling fucking loser.'''
**Who: A-Train
**Source: Season 5, Episode 1 &quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;
**Note: Neck broken by Homelander.
*'''No virus. Bitch, I will shoot hot cum in your face.'''
**Who: Rock Hard
**Source: Season 5, Episode 2 &quot;Teenage Kix&quot;
**Note: Spoken through text-to-speech program; Killed by the Supe Virus released by Frenchie.
*'''Bro! Do ''not'' nut right now.'''
**Who: Jetstreak
**Source: Season 5, Episode 2 &quot;Teenage Kix&quot;
**Note: Killed by the Supe Virus released by Frenchie.
*'''My ass hurts so fucking much.'''
**Who: Adam Bourke
**Source: Season 5, Episode 5 &quot;One-Shots&quot;
**Note: Disemboweled by an eel on the orders of The Deep
*'''I don't know, I haven't talked to him in, like, five years. I swear man, I swear to God. Please! Oh, my...&quot; Mr. Marathon'''
**Who: Mr. Marathon
**Source: Season 5, Episode 5 &quot;One-Shots&quot;
**Note: Said to Soldier Boy about Bombsight. 
*'''But I do believe in you. I love you! I am the only one here who ever has! I gave you everything! I gave you my soul! Everybody else here, they're just... They're just scared of you. Or they want something from you, but I have always loved you for you. Just the strongest, smartest, best man on Earth.''' ''('''Homelander''': &quot;Man?&quot;)'' '''No, no, no, no, no. A god. No. No, the God. My Lord, that look you used to get when you'd suckle me? I felt like Mother Mary herself. I felt blessed to nourish someone as important as you. [pause; Homelander sighs] But nothing I ever did was good enough, was it? You cast me out into the cold, which was so much worse than never feeling your warmth in the first place. So all I have been tryin' to do is to get you to see me the way that you used to. Hell, only reason I was with Soldier Boy was that your reflected light is better than no light at all. Please, sir. I love you. We all need love, don't we? Even God.'''
**Who: Firecracker
**Source: Season 5, Episode 5 &quot;One-Shots&quot;
**Note: Killed by Homelander, who impaled her head on the left wing of an eagle statue.
*'''We know, Kevin. We know it was you.'''
**Who: Jeremy
**Source: Season 5, Episode 6 &quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;
**Note: Killed along with 1.4 billion fish due to dydrocarbon intoxication following the Alaskan oil spill. Caused by Black Noir II by puncturing a drainpipe to frame the Deep.
*'''Sucks to suck, dipshit.''' ''(Soundboard: &quot;Stop. Loser. Br-Br-Bro.&quot;)'' '''So let's record this stupid fucking thing.'''
**Who: Black Noir II
**Source: Season 5, Episode 6 &quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;
**Note: After revealing he caused the pipeline genocide in Alaska, Black Noir II says this before the Deep kills him in a fit of rage by slicing his throat with his own dagger.
*'''&quot;Hey, some kid shit on the floor in the men's room again.'''
**Who: Tanner
**Source: Season 5, Episode 6 &quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;
**Note: Body lasered in half by Homelander.
*'''What the ''fuck'' is that?!'''
**Who: President Steven Calhoun
**Source: Season 5, Episode 7 &quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;
**Note: Horrified with Ashley Barrett's &quot;Bashley&quot; face before his head is crushed by Homelander for being a &quot;non-believer&quot;.
*'''Je t'aime, from the very start.'''
**Who: Serge / Frenchie
**Source: Season 5, Episode 7 &quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;
**Note: Said to Kimiko before succumbing to the effects of radiation poisoning.
*'''Right?'''
**Who: Gunter van Ellis
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: Suffocated after being flown into space by Homelander.
*'''Where's Butcher?'''
**Who: Oh Father
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie before attempting to blast him with his sonic scream, only for Mother's Milk to put a titanium mouth gag in his mouth, causing him to blow his head up with his own powers.
*'''I'm sorry! Oh, shit...'''
**Who: The Deep
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: After being blasted into the ocean by Starlight, the Deep is cornered by numerous sea animals who blame him for the the pipeline genocide and sought to avenge Ambrosius. As The Deep tries desperately swim back to shore, he is eventually trapped and killed by the tentacle of a squid, as his corpse soon falls back in the deep water.
*'''Madelyn, you promised me. It's not real. You can't fucking do this. You can't fucking do this! I am the Homelander!''' (''Billy: No, you ain't nothing. And this... this is for my Becca.'') '''No... nuh...'''
**Who: Homelander
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: After Kimiko (who was enhanced with enriched uranium to receive Soldier Boy's replicated nuclear depowering beam) renders him powerless, Homelander says this before Butcher impales his skull with a crowbar, and rips his brain apart, killing him.
*'''You really are... the spittin' of Lenny...'''
**Who: Billy Butcher
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie, who shot and killed him to stop him.

===''[[Gen V]]'' (2023-2025)===
*'''Most of you are, perfect specimens a super-abled excellence, but, if I'm being totally honest, you are the worst pre-call I have ever met, and you don't even go there sweetheart.''' ''('''Jordan Li''': &quot;You fucking asshole! I'm gonna kill you!&quot;)'' '''And the only thing worse than weakness... is treason, you have all betrayed your kind... There is no place for you here in this school, or in the world to come.'''
**Who: Dr. Thomas R. Godolkin
**Source: Season 2, Episode 8: &quot;Trojan&quot;
**Note: Said while possessing Marie, only to be incapacitated by Polarity, before his head is blown up by Marie; events are set up by Sister Sage.

===''[[The Boys Presents: Diabolical]]'' (2022)===
*'''Come on! Papa needs a new pair of SHOES!'''
**Who: The Great Wide Wonder
**Source: Episode 3: &quot;I'm Your Pusher&quot;
**Note: Poisoned by a chemical made by Frenchie and mixed with his heroin enema liquid, the Great Wide Wonder enters a drug induced excitement state. During a festive &quot;Hall of Fame&quot; event hosted by Homelander, the Great Wide Wonder uncontrollably flies right through Ironcast's stomach, gruesomely killing them both.

==External links==
{{The Boys}}
{{DISPLAYTITLE:Last words in ''The Boys'' media}}
[[Category:Fictional last words|Boys, The]]
[[Category:The Boys]]</text>
      <sha1>6ngpblyphrd0myoveqjk2irxmfkzy58</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943874</id>
      <parentid>3943873</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:17:44Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* TV Series */</comment>
      <origin>3943874</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="16797" sha1="gsb7bh9g1wm5que5xjhf8yl724x5oy7" xml:space="preserve">Following is a list of last words from ''[[w:The Boys (franchise)|The Boys]]'' franchise.

{{Stub}}
==Comics==
*'''&lt;big&gt;YOU FUCKING FUCKING FUCK!! YOU FUCKED MY LIFE!!!&lt;/big&gt;'''
**Who: Homelander
**Source: Issue #65
**Note: Beaten and torn apart by Black Noir, who is revealed to be a clone of Homelander created by Vought-American as a fail-safe to kill him if he ever went rogue.

==TV Series==
===''[[The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]'' (2019-2026)===
*'''Well, I mean, we can't keep, you know, laying pipe at your dad's place. Trying to be all quiet. Staring up at that dumb Billy Joel post- ...poster.'''
**Who: Robin Ward
**Source: Season 1, Episode 1 &quot;The Name of the Game&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie Campbell before she is accidentally disintegrated by A-Train, who is running at superhuman speed while intoxicated by Compound V, briefly acknowledging the accident before running away.
*'''Oh, my God.'''
**Who: Mayor Steve of Baltimore
**Source: Season 1, Episode 1 &quot;The Name of the Game&quot;
**Note: Said after Homelander fires his heat vision in the plane Steve and his son are at.
*'''Aren't you guys friends?'''
**Who: Mason
**Source: Season 1, Episode 1 &quot;The Name of the Game&quot;
**Note: Said to his father Mayor Steve before Homelander fires his heat vision in the plane he is at.
*'''Attaboy.'''
**Who: Translucent
**Source: Season 1, Episode 2 &quot;Cherry&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie after he lets him out, only for Hughie to blow him up with a detonator implanted on him by Butcher and Frenchie.
*'''I'm a filthy little pig who likes to eat ass.'''
**Who: Aleksy Lutz
**Source: Season 1, Episode 3 &quot;Get Some&quot;
**Note: Aleksy’s head is accidentally crushed by Popclaw.
*'''Mani? Pedi? Special deal.'''
**Who: Roberta Cho
**Source: Season 1, Episode 4 &quot;The Female of the Species&quot;
**Note: Beaten and torn apart by Kimiko.
*'''Why?'''
**Who: Popclaw
**Source: Season 1, Episode 5 &quot;Good for the Soul&quot;
**Note: Forced into a heroin overdose by A-Train.
*'''Please, I have a daughter! NO!'''
**Who: Mesmer
**Source: Season 1, Episode 7 &quot;The Self-Preservation Society&quot;
**Note: Beaten to death by Butcher.
*'''I'm scared of you...'''
**Who: Madelyn Stillwell
**Source: Season 1, Episode 8 &quot;You Found Me&quot;
**Note: Killed by Homelander, who burns her face with heat vision.
*'''BURN IN TRUTH!'''
**Who: Naqib
**Source: Season 2, Episode 1 &quot;The Big Ride&quot;
**Note: Spoken in Arabic; decapitated by Black Noir.
*'''The whole picture? It's Vought. It's a fucking coup from the inside.'''
**Who: Susan Raynor
**Source: Season 2, Episode 1 &quot;The Big Ride&quot;
**Note: Said before her head is exploded by Victoria Neuman.
*'''I love you too.'''
**Who: Kenji Miyashiro
**Source: Season 2, Episode 3 &quot;Over the Hill with the Swords of a Thousand Men&quot;
**Note: Spoken in Japanese to his sister Kimiko; Kenji's neck is snapped by Stormfront.
*'''Why are you doing this to me, lady? 'Aren't you supposed to be a hero?!'''
**Who: Myron Hunter
**Source: Season 2, Episode 4 &quot;Nothing Like It in the World&quot;
**Note: He was killed by Liberty in a racially motivated beating after falsely accusing him of committing a robbery due to fitting the suspect's profile.
*'''Oh, you're so special. The most special man on the planet. Everybody loves you. Everybody. Their love is your strength.'''
**Who: Doppelganger
**Source: Season 2, Episode 4 &quot;Nothing Like It in the World&quot;
**Note: His neck is snapped by Homelander.
*'''I'm not doing any more of these stupid pet tricks until I talk to my sister!'''
**Who: Tim
**Source: Season 2, Episode 6 &quot;The Bloody Doors Off&quot;
**Note: Burned alive by Lamplighter.
*'''I don't want them to hurt me again...'''
**Who: Sage Grove EMP Supe
**Source: Season 2, Episode 6 &quot;The Bloody Doors Off&quot;
**Note: Blown up by Cindy during a riot.
*'''I just wanted to make my dad proud...'''
**Who: Lamplighter
**Source: Season 2, Episode 7 &quot;Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker&quot;
**Note: Commits suicide by immolation after realizing Vought erased his legacy.
*'''I do.'''
**Who: Jonah Vogelbaum
**Source: Season 2, Episode 7 &quot;Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker&quot;
**Note: Head blown up by Victoria Neuman to stop him from testifying against Vought, on Stan Edgar's orders.
*'''You promised me you'd keep him safe.'''
**Who: Rebecca &quot;Becca&quot; Butcher
**Source: Season 2, Episode 8 &quot;What I Know&quot;
**Note: Throat accidentally cut with lasers by her son Ryan when he tried to kill Stormfront.
*'''Wait. Please... ''Please''.'''
**Who: Stormfront
**Source: Season 2, Episode 4 &quot;What I Know&quot;
**Note: Critically injured by Ryan's heat vision. Those are her last spoken lines before she commits suicide off-screen. 
*'''No. No, please. Oh God, OH GOD!'''
**Who: Chelsea
**Source: Season 3, Episode 2 &quot;The Only Man in the Sky&quot;
**Note: Forced to jump off a building by Homelander.
*'''Okay, please! Please, look. Fuck, I told you everything I know. Alright? Please, just, just–'''
**Who: Gunpowder
**Source: Season 3, Episode 2 &quot;The Only Man in the Sky&quot;
**Note: Head accidentally lasered in half by Billy Butcher for trying to kill him.
*'''Fuck! FUCK!'''
**Who: Swatto
**Source: Season 3, Episode 4 &quot;Barbary Coast&quot;
**Note: Blown up with a missile during an attack by Russian soldiers.
*'''I didn't love you. I hated you. We all did.'''
**Who: Crimson Countess
**Source: Season 3, Episode 4 &quot;The Last Time to Look on This World of Lies&quot;
**Note: Incinerated by Soldier Boy for selling him out to the Russians.
*'''TNT! Detonate!'''&quot;&quot;
**Who: TNT Twins
**Source: Season 3, Episode 6 &quot;Herogasm&quot;
**Note: Accidentally incinerated by Soldier Boy after he had a PTSD-induced flashback.
*'''The fuck?! Get your fucking hands off me!'''
**Who: Blue Hawk
**Source: Season 3, Episode 6 &quot;Herogasm&quot;
**Note: Dragged to death by A-Train for paralyzing Nathan.
*'''HELP ME! SOMEONE, PLEASE HELP-'''
**Who: Termite
**Source: Season 3, Episode 6 &quot;Herogasm&quot;
**Note: Left powerless by Soldier Boy's radioactive blast, and stepped on by Homelander.
*'''Come off it, Billy. You always have been, 'cause anyone who's ever loved you, you end up getting them killed, don't you? Me. Becca. Now Hughie, the last person on God's green earth trying to stop you from being a monster and what do you do? Drag him down to your level. When he dies, and he will, then no one can stop you. Can they?'''
**Who: Lenny Butcher
**Source: Season 3, Episode 7 &quot;Here Comes a Candle to Light You to Bed&quot;
**Note: Said in a hypnosis-induced nightmare; Shot himself in the head after being abandoned by Billy with their abusive father.
*'''They gave him the green-light!'''
**Who: Mindstorm
**Source: Season 3, Episode 7 &quot;Here Comes a Candle to Light You to Bed&quot;
**Note: Stabbed to death by Soldier Boy for selling him out to the Russians.
*'''MUST KILL HIM'''
**Source: Season 3, Episode 8 &quot;The Instant White-Hot Wild&quot;
**Note: Punctured through chest and disemboweled by Homelander for not telling him about his father. Said words are written.
*'''FUCK YOU, FASCIST!'''
**Who: Ronan Keatings
**Source: Season 3, Episode 8 &quot;The Instant White-Hot Wild&quot;
**Note: Lasered by Homelander for throwing a can at Ryan.
*'''JESUS!'''&quot;&quot;
**Who: Todd
**Source: Season 4, Episode 1 &quot;Department of Dirty Tricks&quot;
**Note: Beaten to death with a bat by Black Noir II, on Homelander's orders, orchestrated by Sister Sage.
*'''Who are you?'''
**Who: Koy
**Source: Season 4, Episode 2 &quot;Life Among the Septics&quot;
**Note: Accidentally thrown into a building by Ryan Butcher during a fake mission, on Homelander's orders.
*'''You know, you-'''
**Who: Splinter
**Source: Season 4, Episode 2 &quot;Life Among the Septics&quot;
**Note: Stabbed in the head with a crowbar by Billy Butcher in self-defense.
*'''Yes, Starlight did call me a few days ago. She just... Wanted some help tracking-''' 
**Who: Anika
**Source: Season 4, Episode 3 &quot;We'll Keep the Red Flag Flying Here&quot;
**Note: Lasered in the head by Homelander for contacting Starlight.
*'''''Homelander! DON'T DO THIS! No!'''''
**Who: Frank
**Source: Season 4, Episode 4 &quot;Wisdom of the Ages&quot;
**Note: Incinerated by Homelander in a oven in revenge.
*'''I'm sorry...'''
**Who: Martin
**Source: Season 4, Episode 4 &quot;Wisdom of the Ages&quot;
**Note: Head crushed by Homelander after being lasered through the groin in revenge.
*'''What do you think you're doing?'''
**Who: Ezekiel
**Source: Season 4, Episode 4 &quot;Wisdom of the Ages&quot;
**Note: Eviscerated by Butcher (&quot;Joe Kessler&quot;) offscreen
*'''SOMEONE SET ME UP! SOMEONE SET ME UP! ''I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!'''''
**Who: Cameron Coleman
**Source: Season 4, Episode 5 &quot;Beware the Jabberwock, My Son&quot;
**Note: Beaten to death by the The Deep, Black Noir II, Firecracker, Cate Dunlap, Sam Riordan and Tek Knight, on Homelander's orders, set up by Ashley Barrett, orchestrated by Sister Sage.
*'''Oh, yeah! The three of us... The three of us... Visit all those... those spots where... Tom... Tom Hanks...'''
**Who: Hugh Campbell Sr.
**Source: Season 4, Episode 5 &quot;Beware the Jabberwock, My Son&quot;
**Note: Euthanized by Hughie Campbell to stop the side-effects of Compound V.
*'''Look, I don't know anything else, okay?! That's all!'''
**Who: Tek Knight
**Source: Season 4, Episode 6 &quot;Dirty Business&quot;
**Note: Strangled by Elijah.
*'''It wasn't me. No, please!'''
**Who: Webweaver
**Source: Season 4, Episode 7 &quot;The Insider&quot;
**Note: Ripped in half by Homelander after being discovered by Firecracker as a spy of The Boys.
*'''I love you...'''
**Who: Ambrosius
**Source: Season 4, Episode 7 &quot;The Insider&quot;
**Note: Suffocated after her tank was broken by The Deep.
*'''You couldn't even blast yourself out, could you?'''
**Who: The Shapeshifter
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Strangled to death by Starlight to save Robert Singer and The Boys.
*'''N-No, I'm not, I swear...'''
**Who: Evan Lambert
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Face crushed with a punch by The Deep during a purge of Vought employees, on Homelander's orders.
*'''''I'm sorry.'''''
**Who: Grace Mallory
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Neck broken accidentally after being thrown into a wall by Ryan Butcher for trying to detain him.
*'''I will owe you many.'''
**Who: Victoria Neuman
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Ripped in half by Billy Butcher (&quot;Joe Kessler&quot;) after attempting to ally with The Boys.
*'''I-It ain't gonna change nothing!'''
**Who: Sam Butcher
**Source: Season 5, Episode 1 &quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;
**Note: Killed by Billy Butcher and his body thrown into the River Thames offscreen.
*'''You’re just an empty fucking suit. Take away those powers…and what are you, huh? A pathetic, weak, sniveling fucking loser.'''
**Who: A-Train
**Source: Season 5, Episode 1 &quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;
**Note: Neck broken by Homelander.
*'''No virus. Bitch, I will shoot hot cum in your face.'''
**Who: Rock Hard
**Source: Season 5, Episode 2 &quot;Teenage Kix&quot;
**Note: Spoken through text-to-speech program; Killed by the Supe Virus released by Frenchie.
*'''Bro! Do ''not'' nut right now.'''
**Who: Jetstreak
**Source: Season 5, Episode 2 &quot;Teenage Kix&quot;
**Note: Killed by the Supe Virus released by Frenchie.
*'''My ass hurts so fucking much.'''
**Who: Adam Bourke
**Source: Season 5, Episode 5 &quot;One-Shots&quot;
**Note: Disemboweled by an eel on the orders of The Deep
*'''I don't know, I haven't talked to him in, like, five years. I swear man, I swear to God. Please! Oh, my...&quot; Mr. Marathon'''
**Who: Mr. Marathon
**Source: Season 5, Episode 5 &quot;One-Shots&quot;
**Note: Said to Soldier Boy about Bombsight. 
*'''But I do believe in you. I love you! I am the only one here who ever has! I gave you everything! I gave you my soul! Everybody else here, they're just... They're just scared of you. Or they want something from you, but I have always loved you for you. Just the strongest, smartest, best man on Earth.''' ''('''Homelander''': &quot;Man?&quot;)'' '''No, no, no, no, no. A god. No. No, the God. My Lord, that look you used to get when you'd suckle me? I felt like Mother Mary herself. I felt blessed to nourish someone as important as you. [pause; Homelander sighs] But nothing I ever did was good enough, was it? You cast me out into the cold, which was so much worse than never feeling your warmth in the first place. So all I have been tryin' to do is to get you to see me the way that you used to. Hell, only reason I was with Soldier Boy was that your reflected light is better than no light at all. Please, sir. I love you. We all need love, don't we? Even God.'''
**Who: Firecracker
**Source: Season 5, Episode 5 &quot;One-Shots&quot;
**Note: Killed by Homelander, who impaled her head on the left wing of an eagle statue.
*'''We know, Kevin. We know it was you.'''
**Who: Jeremy
**Source: Season 5, Episode 6 &quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;
**Note: Killed along with 1.4 billion fish due to dydrocarbon intoxication following the Alaskan oil spill. Caused by Black Noir II by puncturing a drainpipe to frame the Deep.
*'''Sucks to suck, dipshit.''' ''(Soundboard: &quot;Stop. Loser. Br-Br-Bro.&quot;)'' '''So let's record this stupid fucking thing.'''
**Who: Black Noir II
**Source: Season 5, Episode 6 &quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;
**Note: After revealing he caused the pipeline genocide in Alaska, Black Noir II says this before the Deep kills him in a fit of rage by slicing his throat with his own dagger.
*'''&quot;Hey, some kid shit on the floor in the men's room again.'''
**Who: Tanner
**Source: Season 5, Episode 6 &quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;
**Note: Body lasered in half by Homelander.
*'''What the ''fuck'' is that?!'''
**Who: President Steven Calhoun
**Source: Season 5, Episode 7 &quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;
**Note: Horrified with Ashley Barrett's &quot;Bashley&quot; face before his head is crushed by Homelander for being a &quot;non-believer&quot;.
*'''Je t'aime, from the very start.'''
**Who: Serge / Frenchie
**Source: Season 5, Episode 7 &quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;
**Note: Said to Kimiko before succumbing to the effects of radiation poisoning.
*'''Right?'''
**Who: Gunter van Ellis
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: Suffocated after being flown into space by Homelander.
*'''Where's Butcher?'''
**Who: Oh Father
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie before attempting to blast him with his sonic scream, only for Mother's Milk to put a titanium mouth gag in his mouth, causing him to blow his head up with his own powers.
*'''I'm sorry! Oh, shit...'''
**Who: The Deep
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: After being blasted into the ocean by Starlight, the Deep is cornered by numerous sea animals who blame him for the the pipeline genocide and sought to avenge Ambrosius. As The Deep tries desperately swim back to shore, he is eventually trapped and killed by the tentacle of a squid, as his corpse soon falls back in the deep water.
*'''Madelyn, you promised me. It's not real. You can't fucking do this. You can't fucking do this! I am the Homelander!''' (''Billy: No, you ain't nothing. And this... this is for my Becca.'') '''No... nuh...'''
**Who: Homelander
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: After Kimiko (who was enhanced with enriched uranium to receive Soldier Boy's replicated nuclear depowering beam) renders him powerless, Homelander says this before Butcher impales his skull with a crowbar, and rips his brain apart, killing him.
*'''You really are... the spittin' of Lenny...'''
**Who: Billy Butcher
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie, who shot and killed him to stop him.

===''[[Gen V]]'' (2023-2025)===
*'''Most of you are, perfect specimens a super-abled excellence, but, if I'm being totally honest, you are the worst pre-call I have ever met, and you don't even go there sweetheart.''' ''('''Jordan Li''': &quot;You fucking asshole! I'm gonna kill you!&quot;)'' '''And the only thing worse than weakness... is treason, you have all betrayed your kind... There is no place for you here in this school, or in the world to come.'''
**Who: Dr. Thomas R. Godolkin
**Source: Season 2, Episode 8: &quot;Trojan&quot;
**Note: Said while possessing Marie, only to be incapacitated by Polarity, before his head is blown up by Marie; events are set up by Sister Sage.

===''[[The Boys Presents: Diabolical]]'' (2022)===
*'''Come on! Papa needs a new pair of SHOES!'''
**Who: The Great Wide Wonder
**Source: Episode 3: &quot;I'm Your Pusher&quot;
**Note: Poisoned by a chemical made by Frenchie and mixed with his heroin enema liquid, the Great Wide Wonder enters a drug induced excitement state. During a festive &quot;Hall of Fame&quot; event hosted by Homelander, the Great Wide Wonder uncontrollably flies right through Ironcast's stomach, gruesomely killing them both.

==External links==
{{The Boys}}
{{DISPLAYTITLE:Last words in ''The Boys'' media}}
[[Category:Fictional last words|Boys, The]]
[[Category:The Boys]]</text>
      <sha1>gsb7bh9g1wm5que5xjhf8yl724x5oy7</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943981</id>
      <parentid>3943874</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T15:40:45Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* The Boys (2019-2026) */</comment>
      <origin>3943981</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="16802" sha1="98y7w1phi33a6w0c9bdxsa0rvcplmje" xml:space="preserve">Following is a list of last words from ''[[w:The Boys (franchise)|The Boys]]'' franchise.

{{Stub}}
==Comics==
*'''&lt;big&gt;YOU FUCKING FUCKING FUCK!! YOU FUCKED MY LIFE!!!&lt;/big&gt;'''
**Who: Homelander
**Source: Issue #65
**Note: Beaten and torn apart by Black Noir, who is revealed to be a clone of Homelander created by Vought-American as a fail-safe to kill him if he ever went rogue.

==TV Series==
===''[[The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]'' (2019-2026)===
*'''Well, I mean, we can't keep, you know, laying pipe at your dad's place. Trying to be all quiet. Staring up at that dumb Billy Joel post- ...poster.'''
**Who: Robin Ward
**Source: Season 1, Episode 1 &quot;The Name of the Game&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie Campbell before she is accidentally disintegrated by A-Train, who is running at superhuman speed while intoxicated by Compound V, briefly acknowledging the accident before running away.
*'''Oh, my God.'''
**Who: Mayor Steve of Baltimore
**Source: Season 1, Episode 1 &quot;The Name of the Game&quot;
**Note: Said after Homelander fires his heat vision in the plane Steve and his son are at.
*'''Aren't you guys friends?'''
**Who: Mason
**Source: Season 1, Episode 1 &quot;The Name of the Game&quot;
**Note: Said to his father Mayor Steve before Homelander fires his heat vision in the plane he is at.
*'''Attaboy.'''
**Who: Translucent
**Source: Season 1, Episode 2 &quot;Cherry&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie after he lets him out, only for Hughie to blow him up with a detonator implanted on him by Butcher and Frenchie.
*'''I'm a filthy little pig who likes to eat ass.'''
**Who: Aleksy Lutz
**Source: Season 1, Episode 3 &quot;Get Some&quot;
**Note: Aleksy’s head is accidentally crushed by Popclaw.
*'''Mani? Pedi? Special deal.'''
**Who: Roberta Cho
**Source: Season 1, Episode 4 &quot;The Female of the Species&quot;
**Note: Beaten and torn apart by Kimiko.
*'''Why?'''
**Who: Popclaw
**Source: Season 1, Episode 5 &quot;Good for the Soul&quot;
**Note: Forced into a heroin overdose by A-Train.
*'''Please, I have a daughter! NO!'''
**Who: Mesmer
**Source: Season 1, Episode 7 &quot;The Self-Preservation Society&quot;
**Note: Beaten to death by Butcher.
*'''I'm scared of you...'''
**Who: Madelyn Stillwell
**Source: Season 1, Episode 8 &quot;You Found Me&quot;
**Note: Killed by Homelander, who burns her face with heat vision.
*'''BURN IN TRUTH!'''
**Who: Naqib
**Source: Season 2, Episode 1 &quot;The Big Ride&quot;
**Note: Spoken in Arabic; decapitated by Black Noir.
*'''The whole picture? It's Vought. It's a fucking coup from the inside.'''
**Who: Susan Raynor
**Source: Season 2, Episode 1 &quot;The Big Ride&quot;
**Note: Said before her head is exploded by Victoria Neuman.
*'''I love you too.'''
**Who: Kenji Miyashiro
**Source: Season 2, Episode 3 &quot;Over the Hill with the Swords of a Thousand Men&quot;
**Note: Spoken in Japanese to his sister Kimiko; Kenji's neck is snapped by Stormfront.
*'''Why are you doing this to me, lady? 'Aren't you supposed to be a hero?!'''
**Who: Myron Hunter
**Source: Season 2, Episode 4 &quot;Nothing Like It in the World&quot;
**Note: He was killed by Liberty in a racially motivated beating after falsely accusing him of committing a robbery due to fitting the suspect's profile.
*'''Oh, you're so special. The most special man on the planet. Everybody loves you. Everybody. Their love is your strength.'''
**Who: Doppelganger
**Source: Season 2, Episode 4 &quot;Nothing Like It in the World&quot;
**Note: His neck is snapped by Homelander.
*'''I'm not doing any more of these stupid pet tricks until I talk to my sister!'''
**Who: Tim
**Source: Season 2, Episode 6 &quot;The Bloody Doors Off&quot;
**Note: Burned alive by Lamplighter.
*'''I don't want them to hurt me again...'''
**Who: Sage Grove EMP Supe
**Source: Season 2, Episode 6 &quot;The Bloody Doors Off&quot;
**Note: Blown up by Cindy during a riot.
*'''I just wanted to make my dad proud...'''
**Who: Lamplighter
**Source: Season 2, Episode 7 &quot;Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker&quot;
**Note: Commits suicide by immolation after realizing Vought erased his legacy.
*'''I do.'''
**Who: Jonah Vogelbaum
**Source: Season 2, Episode 7 &quot;Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker&quot;
**Note: Head blown up by Victoria Neuman to stop him from testifying against Vought, on Stan Edgar's orders.
*'''You promised me you'd keep him safe.'''
**Who: Rebecca &quot;Becca&quot; Butcher
**Source: Season 2, Episode 8 &quot;What I Know&quot;
**Note: Throat accidentally cut with lasers by her son Ryan when he tried to kill Stormfront.
*'''Wait. Please... ''Please''.'''
**Who: Stormfront
**Source: Season 2, Episode 4 &quot;What I Know&quot;
**Note: Critically injured by Ryan's heat vision. Those are her last spoken lines before she commits suicide off-screen. 
*'''No. No, please. Oh God, OH GOD!'''
**Who: Chelsea
**Source: Season 3, Episode 2 &quot;The Only Man in the Sky&quot;
**Note: Forced to jump off a building by Homelander.
*'''Okay, please! Please, look. Fuck, I told you everything I know. Alright? Please, just, just–'''
**Who: Gunpowder
**Source: Season 3, Episode 2 &quot;The Only Man in the Sky&quot;
**Note: Head accidentally lasered in half by Billy Butcher for trying to kill him.
*'''Fuck! FUCK!'''
**Who: Swatto
**Source: Season 3, Episode 4 &quot;Barbary Coast&quot;
**Note: Blown up with a missile during an attack by Russian soldiers.
*'''I didn't love you. I hated you. We all did.'''
**Who: Crimson Countess
**Source: Season 3, Episode 4 &quot;The Last Time to Look on This World of Lies&quot;
**Note: Incinerated by Soldier Boy for selling him out to the Russians.
*'''TNT! Detonate!'''&quot;&quot;
**Who: TNT Twins
**Source: Season 3, Episode 6 &quot;Herogasm&quot;
**Note: Accidentally incinerated by Soldier Boy after he had a PTSD-induced flashback.
*'''The fuck?! Get your fucking hands off me!'''
**Who: Blue Hawk
**Source: Season 3, Episode 6 &quot;Herogasm&quot;
**Note: Dragged to death by A-Train for paralyzing Nathan.
*'''HELP ME! SOMEONE, PLEASE HELP-'''
**Who: Termite
**Source: Season 3, Episode 6 &quot;Herogasm&quot;
**Note: Left powerless by Soldier Boy's radioactive blast, and stepped on by Homelander.
*'''Come off it, Billy. You always have been, 'cause anyone who's ever loved you, you end up getting them killed, don't you? Me. Becca. Now Hughie, the last person on God's green earth trying to stop you from being a monster and what do you do? Drag him down to your level. When he dies, and he will, then no one can stop you. Can they?'''
**Who: Lenny Butcher
**Source: Season 3, Episode 7 &quot;Here Comes a Candle to Light You to Bed&quot;
**Note: Said in a hypnosis-induced nightmare; Shot himself in the head after being abandoned by Billy with their abusive father.
*'''They gave him the green-light!'''
**Who: Mindstorm
**Source: Season 3, Episode 7 &quot;Here Comes a Candle to Light You to Bed&quot;
**Note: Stabbed to death by Soldier Boy for selling him out to the Russians.
*'''MUST KILL HIM'''
**Source: Season 3, Episode 8 &quot;The Instant White-Hot Wild&quot;
**Note: Punctured through chest and disemboweled by Homelander for not telling him about his father. Said words are written.
*'''FUCK YOU, FASCIST!'''
**Who: Ronan Keatings
**Source: Season 3, Episode 8 &quot;The Instant White-Hot Wild&quot;
**Note: Lasered by Homelander for throwing a can at Ryan.
*'''JESUS!'''&quot;&quot;
**Who: Todd
**Source: Season 4, Episode 1 &quot;Department of Dirty Tricks&quot;
**Note: Beaten to death with a bat by Black Noir II, on Homelander's orders, orchestrated by Sister Sage.
*'''Who are you?'''
**Who: Koy
**Source: Season 4, Episode 2 &quot;Life Among the Septics&quot;
**Note: Accidentally thrown into a building by Ryan Butcher during a fake mission, on Homelander's orders.
*'''You know, you-'''
**Who: Splinter
**Source: Season 4, Episode 2 &quot;Life Among the Septics&quot;
**Note: Stabbed in the head with a crowbar by Billy Butcher in self-defense.
*'''Yes, Starlight did call me a few days ago. She just... Wanted some help tracking-''' 
**Who: Anika
**Source: Season 4, Episode 3 &quot;We'll Keep the Red Flag Flying Here&quot;
**Note: Lasered in the head by Homelander for contacting Starlight.
*'''''Homelander! DON'T DO THIS! No!'''''
**Who: Frank
**Source: Season 4, Episode 4 &quot;Wisdom of the Ages&quot;
**Note: Incinerated by Homelander in a oven in revenge.
*'''I'm sorry...'''
**Who: Martin
**Source: Season 4, Episode 4 &quot;Wisdom of the Ages&quot;
**Note: Head crushed by Homelander after being lasered through the groin in revenge.
*'''What do you think you're doing?'''
**Who: Ezekiel
**Source: Season 4, Episode 4 &quot;Wisdom of the Ages&quot;
**Note: Eviscerated by Butcher (&quot;Joe Kessler&quot;) offscreen
*'''SOMEONE SET ME UP! SOMEONE SET ME UP! ''I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!'''''
**Who: Cameron Coleman
**Source: Season 4, Episode 5 &quot;Beware the Jabberwock, My Son&quot;
**Note: Beaten to death by the The Deep, Black Noir II, Firecracker, Cate Dunlap, Sam Riordan and Tek Knight, on Homelander's orders, set up by Ashley Barrett, orchestrated by Sister Sage.
*'''Oh, yeah! The three of us... The three of us... Visit all those... those spots where... Tom... Tom Hanks...'''
**Who: Hugh Campbell Sr.
**Source: Season 4, Episode 5 &quot;Beware the Jabberwock, My Son&quot;
**Note: Euthanized by Hughie Campbell to stop the side-effects of Compound V.
*'''Look, I don't know anything else, okay?! That's all!'''
**Who: Tek Knight
**Source: Season 4, Episode 6 &quot;Dirty Business&quot;
**Note: Strangled by Elijah.
*'''It wasn't me. No, please!'''
**Who: Webweaver
**Source: Season 4, Episode 7 &quot;The Insider&quot;
**Note: Ripped in half by Homelander after being discovered by Firecracker as a spy of The Boys.
*'''I love you...'''
**Who: Ambrosius
**Source: Season 4, Episode 7 &quot;The Insider&quot;
**Note: Suffocated after her tank was broken by The Deep.
*'''You couldn't even blast yourself out, could you?'''
**Who: The Shapeshifter
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Strangled to death by Starlight to save Robert Singer and The Boys.
*'''N-No, I'm not, I swear...'''
**Who: Evan Lambert
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Face crushed with a punch by The Deep during a purge of Vought employees, on Homelander's orders.
*'''''I'm sorry.'''''
**Who: Grace Mallory
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Neck broken accidentally after being thrown into a wall by Ryan Butcher for trying to detain him.
*'''I will owe you many.'''
**Who: Victoria Neuman
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Ripped in half by Billy Butcher (&quot;Joe Kessler&quot;) after attempting to ally with The Boys.
*'''I-It ain't gonna change nothing!'''
**Who: Sam Butcher
**Source: Season 5, Episode 1 &quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;
**Note: Killed by Billy Butcher and his body thrown into the River Thames offscreen.
*'''You’re just an empty fucking suit. Take away those powers…and what are you, huh? A pathetic, weak, sniveling fucking loser.'''
**Who: A-Train
**Source: Season 5, Episode 1 &quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;
**Note: Neck broken by Homelander.
*'''No virus. Bitch, I will shoot hot cum in your face.'''
**Who: Rock Hard
**Source: Season 5, Episode 2 &quot;Teenage Kix&quot;
**Note: Spoken through text-to-speech program; Killed by the Supe Virus released by Frenchie.
*'''Bro! Do ''not'' nut right now.'''
**Who: Jetstreak
**Source: Season 5, Episode 2 &quot;Teenage Kix&quot;
**Note: Killed by the Supe Virus released by Frenchie.
*'''My ass hurts so fucking much.'''
**Who: Adam Bourke
**Source: Season 5, Episode 5 &quot;One-Shots&quot;
**Note: Disemboweled by an eel on the orders of The Deep
*'''I don't know, I haven't talked to him in, like, five years. I swear man, I swear to God. Please! Oh, my...&quot; Mr. Marathon'''
**Who: Mr. Marathon
**Source: Season 5, Episode 5 &quot;One-Shots&quot;
**Note: Said to Soldier Boy about Bombsight. 
*'''But I do believe in you. I love you! I am the only one here who ever has! I gave you everything! I gave you my soul! Everybody else here, they're just... They're just scared of you. Or they want something from you, but I have always loved you for you. Just the strongest, smartest, best man on Earth.''' ''('''Homelander''': &quot;Man?&quot;)'' '''No, no, no, no, no. A god. No. No, the God. My Lord, that look you used to get when you'd suckle me? I felt like Mother Mary herself. I felt blessed to nourish someone as important as you. [pause; Homelander sighs] But nothing I ever did was good enough, was it? You cast me out into the cold, which was so much worse than never feeling your warmth in the first place. So all I have been tryin' to do is to get you to see me the way that you used to. Hell, only reason I was with Soldier Boy was that your reflected light is better than no light at all. Please, sir. I love you. We all need love, don't we? Even God.'''
**Who: Firecracker
**Source: Season 5, Episode 5 &quot;One-Shots&quot;
**Note: Killed by Homelander, who impaled her head on the left wing of an eagle statue.
*'''We know, Kevin. We know it was you.'''
**Who: Jeremy
**Source: Season 5, Episode 6 &quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;
**Note: Killed along with 1.4 billion fish due to dydrocarbon intoxication following the Alaskan oil spill. Caused by Black Noir II by puncturing a drainpipe to frame the Deep.
*'''Sucks to suck, dipshit.''' ''(Soundboard: &quot;'''Stop. Loser. Br-Br-Bro.'''&quot;)'' '''So let's record this stupid fucking thing.'''
**Who: Black Noir II
**Source: Season 5, Episode 6 &quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;
**Note: After revealing he caused the pipeline genocide in Alaska, Black Noir II says this before the Deep kills him in a fit of rage by slicing his throat with his own dagger.
*'''Hey, some kid shit on the floor in the men's room again.'''
**Who: Tanner
**Source: Season 5, Episode 6 &quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;
**Note: Body lasered in half by Homelander.
*'''What the ''fuck'' is that?!'''
**Who: President Steven Calhoun
**Source: Season 5, Episode 7 &quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;
**Note: Horrified with Ashley Barrett's &quot;Bashley&quot; face before his head is crushed by Homelander for being a &quot;non-believer&quot;.
*'''Je t'aime, from the very start.'''
**Who: Serge / Frenchie
**Source: Season 5, Episode 7 &quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;
**Note: Said to Kimiko before succumbing to the effects of radiation poisoning.
*'''Right?'''
**Who: Gunter van Ellis
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: Suffocated after being flown into space by Homelander.
*'''Where's Butcher?'''
**Who: Oh Father
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie before attempting to blast him with his sonic scream, only for Mother's Milk to put a titanium mouth gag in his mouth, causing him to blow his head up with his own powers.
*'''I'm sorry! Oh, shit...'''
**Who: The Deep
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: After being blasted into the ocean by Starlight, the Deep is cornered by numerous sea animals who blame him for the the pipeline genocide and sought to avenge Ambrosius. As The Deep tries desperately swim back to shore, he is eventually trapped and killed by the tentacle of a squid, as his corpse soon falls back in the deep water.
*'''Madelyn, you promised me. It's not real. You can't fucking do this. You can't fucking do this! I am the Homelander!''' (''Billy: No, you ain't nothing. And this... this is for my Becca.'') '''No... nuh...'''
**Who: Homelander
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: After Kimiko (who was enhanced with enriched uranium to receive Soldier Boy's replicated nuclear depowering beam) renders him powerless, Homelander says this before Butcher impales his skull with a crowbar, and rips his brain apart, killing him.
*'''You really are... the spittin' of Lenny...'''
**Who: Billy Butcher
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie, who shot and killed him to stop him.

===''[[Gen V]]'' (2023-2025)===
*'''Most of you are, perfect specimens a super-abled excellence, but, if I'm being totally honest, you are the worst pre-call I have ever met, and you don't even go there sweetheart.''' ''('''Jordan Li''': &quot;You fucking asshole! I'm gonna kill you!&quot;)'' '''And the only thing worse than weakness... is treason, you have all betrayed your kind... There is no place for you here in this school, or in the world to come.'''
**Who: Dr. Thomas R. Godolkin
**Source: Season 2, Episode 8: &quot;Trojan&quot;
**Note: Said while possessing Marie, only to be incapacitated by Polarity, before his head is blown up by Marie; events are set up by Sister Sage.

===''[[The Boys Presents: Diabolical]]'' (2022)===
*'''Come on! Papa needs a new pair of SHOES!'''
**Who: The Great Wide Wonder
**Source: Episode 3: &quot;I'm Your Pusher&quot;
**Note: Poisoned by a chemical made by Frenchie and mixed with his heroin enema liquid, the Great Wide Wonder enters a drug induced excitement state. During a festive &quot;Hall of Fame&quot; event hosted by Homelander, the Great Wide Wonder uncontrollably flies right through Ironcast's stomach, gruesomely killing them both.

==External links==
{{The Boys}}
{{DISPLAYTITLE:Last words in ''The Boys'' media}}
[[Category:Fictional last words|Boys, The]]
[[Category:The Boys]]</text>
      <sha1>98y7w1phi33a6w0c9bdxsa0rvcplmje</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943982</id>
      <parentid>3943981</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T15:41:46Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* The Boys (2019-2026) */</comment>
      <origin>3943982</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="16801" sha1="1br0cxzazos9wh4d6metv4l8msfr5k1" xml:space="preserve">Following is a list of last words from ''[[w:The Boys (franchise)|The Boys]]'' franchise.

{{Stub}}
==Comics==
*'''&lt;big&gt;YOU FUCKING FUCKING FUCK!! YOU FUCKED MY LIFE!!!&lt;/big&gt;'''
**Who: Homelander
**Source: Issue #65
**Note: Beaten and torn apart by Black Noir, who is revealed to be a clone of Homelander created by Vought-American as a fail-safe to kill him if he ever went rogue.

==TV Series==
===''[[The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]'' (2019-2026)===
*'''Well, I mean, we can't keep, you know, laying pipe at your dad's place. Trying to be all quiet. Staring up at that dumb Billy Joel post- ...poster.'''
**Who: Robin Ward
**Source: Season 1, Episode 1 &quot;The Name of the Game&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie Campbell before she is accidentally disintegrated by A-Train, who is running at superhuman speed while intoxicated by Compound V, briefly acknowledging the accident before running away.
*'''Oh, my God.'''
**Who: Mayor Steve of Baltimore
**Source: Season 1, Episode 1 &quot;The Name of the Game&quot;
**Note: Said after Homelander fires his heat vision in the plane Steve and his son are at.
*'''Aren't you guys friends?'''
**Who: Mason
**Source: Season 1, Episode 1 &quot;The Name of the Game&quot;
**Note: Said to his father Mayor Steve before Homelander fires his heat vision in the plane he is at.
*'''Attaboy.'''
**Who: Translucent
**Source: Season 1, Episode 2 &quot;Cherry&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie after he lets him out, only for Hughie to blow him up with a detonator implanted on him by Butcher and Frenchie.
*'''I'm a filthy little pig who likes to eat ass.'''
**Who: Aleksy Lutz
**Source: Season 1, Episode 3 &quot;Get Some&quot;
**Note: Aleksy’s head is accidentally crushed by Popclaw.
*'''Mani? Pedi? Special deal.'''
**Who: Roberta Cho
**Source: Season 1, Episode 4 &quot;The Female of the Species&quot;
**Note: Beaten and torn apart by Kimiko.
*'''Why?'''
**Who: Popclaw
**Source: Season 1, Episode 5 &quot;Good for the Soul&quot;
**Note: Forced into a heroin overdose by A-Train.
*'''Please, I have a daughter! NO!'''
**Who: Mesmer
**Source: Season 1, Episode 7 &quot;The Self-Preservation Society&quot;
**Note: Beaten to death by Butcher.
*'''I'm scared of you...'''
**Who: Madelyn Stillwell
**Source: Season 1, Episode 8 &quot;You Found Me&quot;
**Note: Killed by Homelander, who burns her face with heat vision.
*'''BURN IN TRUTH!'''
**Who: Naqib
**Source: Season 2, Episode 1 &quot;The Big Ride&quot;
**Note: Spoken in Arabic; decapitated by Black Noir.
*'''The whole picture? It's Vought. It's a fucking coup from the inside.'''
**Who: Susan Raynor
**Source: Season 2, Episode 1 &quot;The Big Ride&quot;
**Note: Said before her head is exploded by Victoria Neuman.
*'''I love you too.'''
**Who: Kenji Miyashiro
**Source: Season 2, Episode 3 &quot;Over the Hill with the Swords of a Thousand Men&quot;
**Note: Spoken in Japanese to his sister Kimiko; Kenji's neck is snapped by Stormfront.
*'''Why are you doing this to me, lady? 'Aren't you supposed to be a hero?!'''
**Who: Myron Hunter
**Source: Season 2, Episode 4 &quot;Nothing Like It in the World&quot;
**Note: He was killed by Liberty in a racially motivated beating after falsely accusing him of committing a robbery due to fitting the suspect's profile.
*'''Oh, you're so special. The most special man on the planet. Everybody loves you. Everybody. Their love is your strength.'''
**Who: Doppelganger
**Source: Season 2, Episode 4 &quot;Nothing Like It in the World&quot;
**Note: His neck is snapped by Homelander.
*'''I'm not doing any more of these stupid pet tricks until I talk to my sister!'''
**Who: Tim
**Source: Season 2, Episode 6 &quot;The Bloody Doors Off&quot;
**Note: Burned alive by Lamplighter.
*'''I don't want them to hurt me again...'''
**Who: Sage Grove EMP Supe
**Source: Season 2, Episode 6 &quot;The Bloody Doors Off&quot;
**Note: Blown up by Cindy during a riot.
*'''I just wanted to make my dad proud...'''
**Who: Lamplighter
**Source: Season 2, Episode 7 &quot;Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker&quot;
**Note: Commits suicide by immolation after realizing Vought erased his legacy.
*'''I do.'''
**Who: Jonah Vogelbaum
**Source: Season 2, Episode 7 &quot;Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker&quot;
**Note: Head blown up by Victoria Neuman to stop him from testifying against Vought, on Stan Edgar's orders.
*'''You promised me you'd keep him safe.'''
**Who: Rebecca &quot;Becca&quot; Butcher
**Source: Season 2, Episode 8 &quot;What I Know&quot;
**Note: Throat accidentally cut with lasers by her son Ryan when he tried to kill Stormfront.
*'''Wait. Please... ''Please''.'''
**Who: Stormfront
**Source: Season 2, Episode 4 &quot;What I Know&quot;
**Note: Critically injured by Ryan's heat vision. Those are her last spoken lines before she commits suicide off-screen. 
*'''No. No, please. Oh God, OH GOD!'''
**Who: Chelsea
**Source: Season 3, Episode 2 &quot;The Only Man in the Sky&quot;
**Note: Forced to jump off a building by Homelander.
*'''Okay, please! Please, look. Fuck, I told you everything I know. Alright? Please, just, just–'''
**Who: Gunpowder
**Source: Season 3, Episode 2 &quot;The Only Man in the Sky&quot;
**Note: Head accidentally lasered in half by Billy Butcher for trying to kill him.
*'''Fuck! FUCK!'''
**Who: Swatto
**Source: Season 3, Episode 4 &quot;Barbary Coast&quot;
**Note: Blown up with a missile during an attack by Russian soldiers.
*'''I didn't love you. I hated you. We all did.'''
**Who: Crimson Countess
**Source: Season 3, Episode 4 &quot;The Last Time to Look on This World of Lies&quot;
**Note: Incinerated by Soldier Boy for selling him out to the Russians.
*'''TNT! Detonate!'''&quot;&quot;
**Who: TNT Twins
**Source: Season 3, Episode 6 &quot;Herogasm&quot;
**Note: Accidentally incinerated by Soldier Boy after he had a PTSD-induced flashback.
*'''The fuck?! Get your fucking hands off me!'''
**Who: Blue Hawk
**Source: Season 3, Episode 6 &quot;Herogasm&quot;
**Note: Dragged to death by A-Train for paralyzing Nathan.
*'''HELP ME! SOMEONE, PLEASE HELP-'''
**Who: Termite
**Source: Season 3, Episode 6 &quot;Herogasm&quot;
**Note: Left powerless by Soldier Boy's radioactive blast, and stepped on by Homelander.
*'''Come off it, Billy. You always have been, 'cause anyone who's ever loved you, you end up getting them killed, don't you? Me. Becca. Now Hughie, the last person on God's green earth trying to stop you from being a monster and what do you do? Drag him down to your level. When he dies, and he will, then no one can stop you. Can they?'''
**Who: Lenny Butcher
**Source: Season 3, Episode 7 &quot;Here Comes a Candle to Light You to Bed&quot;
**Note: Said in a hypnosis-induced nightmare; Shot himself in the head after being abandoned by Billy with their abusive father.
*'''They gave him the green-light!'''
**Who: Mindstorm
**Source: Season 3, Episode 7 &quot;Here Comes a Candle to Light You to Bed&quot;
**Note: Stabbed to death by Soldier Boy for selling him out to the Russians.
*'''MUST KILL HIM'''
**Source: Season 3, Episode 8 &quot;The Instant White-Hot Wild&quot;
**Note: Punctured through chest and disemboweled by Homelander for not telling him about his father. Said words are written.
*'''FUCK YOU, FASCIST!'''
**Who: Ronan Keatings
**Source: Season 3, Episode 8 &quot;The Instant White-Hot Wild&quot;
**Note: Lasered by Homelander for throwing a can at Ryan.
*'''JESUS!'''&quot;
**Who: Todd
**Source: Season 4, Episode 1 &quot;Department of Dirty Tricks&quot;
**Note: Beaten to death with a bat by Black Noir II, on Homelander's orders, orchestrated by Sister Sage.
*'''Who are you?'''
**Who: Koy
**Source: Season 4, Episode 2 &quot;Life Among the Septics&quot;
**Note: Accidentally thrown into a building by Ryan Butcher during a fake mission, on Homelander's orders.
*'''You know, you-'''
**Who: Splinter
**Source: Season 4, Episode 2 &quot;Life Among the Septics&quot;
**Note: Stabbed in the head with a crowbar by Billy Butcher in self-defense.
*'''Yes, Starlight did call me a few days ago. She just... Wanted some help tracking-''' 
**Who: Anika
**Source: Season 4, Episode 3 &quot;We'll Keep the Red Flag Flying Here&quot;
**Note: Lasered in the head by Homelander for contacting Starlight.
*'''''Homelander! DON'T DO THIS! No!'''''
**Who: Frank
**Source: Season 4, Episode 4 &quot;Wisdom of the Ages&quot;
**Note: Incinerated by Homelander in a oven in revenge.
*'''I'm sorry...'''
**Who: Martin
**Source: Season 4, Episode 4 &quot;Wisdom of the Ages&quot;
**Note: Head crushed by Homelander after being lasered through the groin in revenge.
*'''What do you think you're doing?'''
**Who: Ezekiel
**Source: Season 4, Episode 4 &quot;Wisdom of the Ages&quot;
**Note: Eviscerated by Butcher (&quot;Joe Kessler&quot;) offscreen
*'''SOMEONE SET ME UP! SOMEONE SET ME UP! ''I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!'''''
**Who: Cameron Coleman
**Source: Season 4, Episode 5 &quot;Beware the Jabberwock, My Son&quot;
**Note: Beaten to death by the The Deep, Black Noir II, Firecracker, Cate Dunlap, Sam Riordan and Tek Knight, on Homelander's orders, set up by Ashley Barrett, orchestrated by Sister Sage.
*'''Oh, yeah! The three of us... The three of us... Visit all those... those spots where... Tom... Tom Hanks...'''
**Who: Hugh Campbell Sr.
**Source: Season 4, Episode 5 &quot;Beware the Jabberwock, My Son&quot;
**Note: Euthanized by Hughie Campbell to stop the side-effects of Compound V.
*'''Look, I don't know anything else, okay?! That's all!'''
**Who: Tek Knight
**Source: Season 4, Episode 6 &quot;Dirty Business&quot;
**Note: Strangled by Elijah.
*'''It wasn't me. No, please!'''
**Who: Webweaver
**Source: Season 4, Episode 7 &quot;The Insider&quot;
**Note: Ripped in half by Homelander after being discovered by Firecracker as a spy of The Boys.
*'''I love you...'''
**Who: Ambrosius
**Source: Season 4, Episode 7 &quot;The Insider&quot;
**Note: Suffocated after her tank was broken by The Deep.
*'''You couldn't even blast yourself out, could you?'''
**Who: The Shapeshifter
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Strangled to death by Starlight to save Robert Singer and The Boys.
*'''N-No, I'm not, I swear...'''
**Who: Evan Lambert
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Face crushed with a punch by The Deep during a purge of Vought employees, on Homelander's orders.
*'''''I'm sorry.'''''
**Who: Grace Mallory
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Neck broken accidentally after being thrown into a wall by Ryan Butcher for trying to detain him.
*'''I will owe you many.'''
**Who: Victoria Neuman
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Ripped in half by Billy Butcher (&quot;Joe Kessler&quot;) after attempting to ally with The Boys.
*'''I-It ain't gonna change nothing!'''
**Who: Sam Butcher
**Source: Season 5, Episode 1 &quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;
**Note: Killed by Billy Butcher and his body thrown into the River Thames offscreen.
*'''You’re just an empty fucking suit. Take away those powers…and what are you, huh? A pathetic, weak, sniveling fucking loser.'''
**Who: A-Train
**Source: Season 5, Episode 1 &quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;
**Note: Neck broken by Homelander.
*'''No virus. Bitch, I will shoot hot cum in your face.'''
**Who: Rock Hard
**Source: Season 5, Episode 2 &quot;Teenage Kix&quot;
**Note: Spoken through text-to-speech program; Killed by the Supe Virus released by Frenchie.
*'''Bro! Do ''not'' nut right now.'''
**Who: Jetstreak
**Source: Season 5, Episode 2 &quot;Teenage Kix&quot;
**Note: Killed by the Supe Virus released by Frenchie.
*'''My ass hurts so fucking much.'''
**Who: Adam Bourke
**Source: Season 5, Episode 5 &quot;One-Shots&quot;
**Note: Disemboweled by an eel on the orders of The Deep
*'''I don't know, I haven't talked to him in, like, five years. I swear man, I swear to God. Please! Oh, my...&quot; Mr. Marathon'''
**Who: Mr. Marathon
**Source: Season 5, Episode 5 &quot;One-Shots&quot;
**Note: Said to Soldier Boy about Bombsight. 
*'''But I do believe in you. I love you! I am the only one here who ever has! I gave you everything! I gave you my soul! Everybody else here, they're just... They're just scared of you. Or they want something from you, but I have always loved you for you. Just the strongest, smartest, best man on Earth.''' ''('''Homelander''': &quot;Man?&quot;)'' '''No, no, no, no, no. A god. No. No, the God. My Lord, that look you used to get when you'd suckle me? I felt like Mother Mary herself. I felt blessed to nourish someone as important as you. [pause; Homelander sighs] But nothing I ever did was good enough, was it? You cast me out into the cold, which was so much worse than never feeling your warmth in the first place. So all I have been tryin' to do is to get you to see me the way that you used to. Hell, only reason I was with Soldier Boy was that your reflected light is better than no light at all. Please, sir. I love you. We all need love, don't we? Even God.'''
**Who: Firecracker
**Source: Season 5, Episode 5 &quot;One-Shots&quot;
**Note: Killed by Homelander, who impaled her head on the left wing of an eagle statue.
*'''We know, Kevin. We know it was you.'''
**Who: Jeremy
**Source: Season 5, Episode 6 &quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;
**Note: Killed along with 1.4 billion fish due to dydrocarbon intoxication following the Alaskan oil spill. Caused by Black Noir II by puncturing a drainpipe to frame the Deep.
*'''Sucks to suck, dipshit.''' ''(Soundboard: &quot;'''Stop. Loser. Br-Br-Bro.'''&quot;)'' '''So let's record this stupid fucking thing.'''
**Who: Black Noir II
**Source: Season 5, Episode 6 &quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;
**Note: After revealing he caused the pipeline genocide in Alaska, Black Noir II says this before the Deep kills him in a fit of rage by slicing his throat with his own dagger.
*'''Hey, some kid shit on the floor in the men's room again.'''
**Who: Tanner
**Source: Season 5, Episode 6 &quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;
**Note: Body lasered in half by Homelander.
*'''What the ''fuck'' is that?!'''
**Who: President Steven Calhoun
**Source: Season 5, Episode 7 &quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;
**Note: Horrified with Ashley Barrett's &quot;Bashley&quot; face before his head is crushed by Homelander for being a &quot;non-believer&quot;.
*'''Je t'aime, from the very start.'''
**Who: Serge / Frenchie
**Source: Season 5, Episode 7 &quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;
**Note: Said to Kimiko before succumbing to the effects of radiation poisoning.
*'''Right?'''
**Who: Gunter van Ellis
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: Suffocated after being flown into space by Homelander.
*'''Where's Butcher?'''
**Who: Oh Father
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie before attempting to blast him with his sonic scream, only for Mother's Milk to put a titanium mouth gag in his mouth, causing him to blow his head up with his own powers.
*'''I'm sorry! Oh, shit...'''
**Who: The Deep
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: After being blasted into the ocean by Starlight, the Deep is cornered by numerous sea animals who blame him for the the pipeline genocide and sought to avenge Ambrosius. As The Deep tries desperately swim back to shore, he is eventually trapped and killed by the tentacle of a squid, as his corpse soon falls back in the deep water.
*'''Madelyn, you promised me. It's not real. You can't fucking do this. You can't fucking do this! I am the Homelander!''' (''Billy: No, you ain't nothing. And this... this is for my Becca.'') '''No... nuh...'''
**Who: Homelander
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: After Kimiko (who was enhanced with enriched uranium to receive Soldier Boy's replicated nuclear depowering beam) renders him powerless, Homelander says this before Butcher impales his skull with a crowbar, and rips his brain apart, killing him.
*'''You really are... the spittin' of Lenny...'''
**Who: Billy Butcher
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie, who shot and killed him to stop him.

===''[[Gen V]]'' (2023-2025)===
*'''Most of you are, perfect specimens a super-abled excellence, but, if I'm being totally honest, you are the worst pre-call I have ever met, and you don't even go there sweetheart.''' ''('''Jordan Li''': &quot;You fucking asshole! I'm gonna kill you!&quot;)'' '''And the only thing worse than weakness... is treason, you have all betrayed your kind... There is no place for you here in this school, or in the world to come.'''
**Who: Dr. Thomas R. Godolkin
**Source: Season 2, Episode 8: &quot;Trojan&quot;
**Note: Said while possessing Marie, only to be incapacitated by Polarity, before his head is blown up by Marie; events are set up by Sister Sage.

===''[[The Boys Presents: Diabolical]]'' (2022)===
*'''Come on! Papa needs a new pair of SHOES!'''
**Who: The Great Wide Wonder
**Source: Episode 3: &quot;I'm Your Pusher&quot;
**Note: Poisoned by a chemical made by Frenchie and mixed with his heroin enema liquid, the Great Wide Wonder enters a drug induced excitement state. During a festive &quot;Hall of Fame&quot; event hosted by Homelander, the Great Wide Wonder uncontrollably flies right through Ironcast's stomach, gruesomely killing them both.

==External links==
{{The Boys}}
{{DISPLAYTITLE:Last words in ''The Boys'' media}}
[[Category:Fictional last words|Boys, The]]
[[Category:The Boys]]</text>
      <sha1>1br0cxzazos9wh4d6metv4l8msfr5k1</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943983</id>
      <parentid>3943982</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T15:42:35Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* The Boys (2019-2026) */</comment>
      <origin>3943983</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="16798" sha1="3nybcnzin0vcw4a6sa7d3vg2ckfae9r" xml:space="preserve">Following is a list of last words from ''[[w:The Boys (franchise)|The Boys]]'' franchise.

{{Stub}}
==Comics==
*'''&lt;big&gt;YOU FUCKING FUCKING FUCK!! YOU FUCKED MY LIFE!!!&lt;/big&gt;'''
**Who: Homelander
**Source: Issue #65
**Note: Beaten and torn apart by Black Noir, who is revealed to be a clone of Homelander created by Vought-American as a fail-safe to kill him if he ever went rogue.

==TV Series==
===''[[The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]'' (2019-2026)===
*'''Well, I mean, we can't keep, you know, laying pipe at your dad's place. Trying to be all quiet. Staring up at that dumb Billy Joel post- ...poster.'''
**Who: Robin Ward
**Source: Season 1, Episode 1 &quot;The Name of the Game&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie Campbell before she is accidentally disintegrated by A-Train, who is running at superhuman speed while intoxicated by Compound V, briefly acknowledging the accident before running away.
*'''Oh, my God.'''
**Who: Mayor Steve of Baltimore
**Source: Season 1, Episode 1 &quot;The Name of the Game&quot;
**Note: Said after Homelander fires his heat vision in the plane Steve and his son are at.
*'''Aren't you guys friends?'''
**Who: Mason
**Source: Season 1, Episode 1 &quot;The Name of the Game&quot;
**Note: Said to his father Mayor Steve before Homelander fires his heat vision in the plane he is at.
*'''Attaboy.'''
**Who: Translucent
**Source: Season 1, Episode 2 &quot;Cherry&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie after he lets him out, only for Hughie to blow him up with a detonator implanted on him by Butcher and Frenchie.
*'''I'm a filthy little pig who likes to eat ass.'''
**Who: Aleksy Lutz
**Source: Season 1, Episode 3 &quot;Get Some&quot;
**Note: Aleksy’s head is accidentally crushed by Popclaw.
*'''Mani? Pedi? Special deal.'''
**Who: Roberta Cho
**Source: Season 1, Episode 4 &quot;The Female of the Species&quot;
**Note: Beaten and torn apart by Kimiko.
*'''Why?'''
**Who: Popclaw
**Source: Season 1, Episode 5 &quot;Good for the Soul&quot;
**Note: Forced into a heroin overdose by A-Train.
*'''Please, I have a daughter! NO!'''
**Who: Mesmer
**Source: Season 1, Episode 7 &quot;The Self-Preservation Society&quot;
**Note: Beaten to death by Butcher.
*'''I'm scared of you...'''
**Who: Madelyn Stillwell
**Source: Season 1, Episode 8 &quot;You Found Me&quot;
**Note: Killed by Homelander, who burns her face with heat vision.
*'''BURN IN TRUTH!'''
**Who: Naqib
**Source: Season 2, Episode 1 &quot;The Big Ride&quot;
**Note: Spoken in Arabic; decapitated by Black Noir.
*'''The whole picture? It's Vought. It's a fucking coup from the inside.'''
**Who: Susan Raynor
**Source: Season 2, Episode 1 &quot;The Big Ride&quot;
**Note: Said before her head is exploded by Victoria Neuman.
*'''I love you too.'''
**Who: Kenji Miyashiro
**Source: Season 2, Episode 3 &quot;Over the Hill with the Swords of a Thousand Men&quot;
**Note: Spoken in Japanese to his sister Kimiko; Kenji's neck is snapped by Stormfront.
*'''Why are you doing this to me, lady? 'Aren't you supposed to be a hero?!'''
**Who: Myron Hunter
**Source: Season 2, Episode 4 &quot;Nothing Like It in the World&quot;
**Note: He was killed by Liberty in a racially motivated beating after falsely accusing him of committing a robbery due to fitting the suspect's profile.
*'''Oh, you're so special. The most special man on the planet. Everybody loves you. Everybody. Their love is your strength.'''
**Who: Doppelganger
**Source: Season 2, Episode 4 &quot;Nothing Like It in the World&quot;
**Note: His neck is snapped by Homelander.
*'''I'm not doing any more of these stupid pet tricks until I talk to my sister!'''
**Who: Tim
**Source: Season 2, Episode 6 &quot;The Bloody Doors Off&quot;
**Note: Burned alive by Lamplighter.
*'''I don't want them to hurt me again...'''
**Who: Sage Grove EMP Supe
**Source: Season 2, Episode 6 &quot;The Bloody Doors Off&quot;
**Note: Blown up by Cindy during a riot.
*'''I just wanted to make my dad proud...'''
**Who: Lamplighter
**Source: Season 2, Episode 7 &quot;Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker&quot;
**Note: Commits suicide by immolation after realizing Vought erased his legacy.
*'''I do.'''
**Who: Jonah Vogelbaum
**Source: Season 2, Episode 7 &quot;Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker&quot;
**Note: Head blown up by Victoria Neuman to stop him from testifying against Vought, on Stan Edgar's orders.
*'''You promised me you'd keep him safe.'''
**Who: Rebecca &quot;Becca&quot; Butcher
**Source: Season 2, Episode 8 &quot;What I Know&quot;
**Note: Throat accidentally cut with lasers by her son Ryan when he tried to kill Stormfront.
*'''Wait. Please... ''Please''.'''
**Who: Stormfront
**Source: Season 2, Episode 4 &quot;What I Know&quot;
**Note: Critically injured by Ryan's heat vision. Those are her last spoken lines before she commits suicide off-screen. 
*'''No. No, please. Oh God, OH GOD!'''
**Who: Chelsea
**Source: Season 3, Episode 2 &quot;The Only Man in the Sky&quot;
**Note: Forced to jump off a building by Homelander.
*'''Okay, please! Please, look. Fuck, I told you everything I know. Alright? Please, just, just–'''
**Who: Gunpowder
**Source: Season 3, Episode 2 &quot;The Only Man in the Sky&quot;
**Note: Head accidentally lasered in half by Billy Butcher for trying to kill him.
*'''Fuck! FUCK!'''
**Who: Swatto
**Source: Season 3, Episode 4 &quot;Barbary Coast&quot;
**Note: Blown up with a missile during an attack by Russian soldiers.
*'''I didn't love you. I hated you. We all did.'''
**Who: Crimson Countess
**Source: Season 3, Episode 4 &quot;The Last Time to Look on This World of Lies&quot;
**Note: Incinerated by Soldier Boy for selling him out to the Russians.
*'''TNT! Detonate!'''
**Who: TNT Twins
**Source: Season 3, Episode 6 &quot;Herogasm&quot;
**Note: Accidentally incinerated by Soldier Boy after he had a PTSD-induced flashback.
*'''The fuck?! Get your fucking hands off me!'''
**Who: Blue Hawk
**Source: Season 3, Episode 6 &quot;Herogasm&quot;
**Note: Dragged to death by A-Train for paralyzing Nathan.
*'''HELP ME! SOMEONE, PLEASE HELP-'''
**Who: Termite
**Source: Season 3, Episode 6 &quot;Herogasm&quot;
**Note: Left powerless by Soldier Boy's radioactive blast, and stepped on by Homelander.
*'''Come off it, Billy. You always have been, 'cause anyone who's ever loved you, you end up getting them killed, don't you? Me. Becca. Now Hughie, the last person on God's green earth trying to stop you from being a monster and what do you do? Drag him down to your level. When he dies, and he will, then no one can stop you. Can they?'''
**Who: Lenny Butcher
**Source: Season 3, Episode 7 &quot;Here Comes a Candle to Light You to Bed&quot;
**Note: Said in a hypnosis-induced nightmare; Shot himself in the head after being abandoned by Billy with their abusive father.
*'''They gave him the green-light!'''
**Who: Mindstorm
**Source: Season 3, Episode 7 &quot;Here Comes a Candle to Light You to Bed&quot;
**Note: Stabbed to death by Soldier Boy for selling him out to the Russians.
*'''MUST KILL HIM'''
**Source: Season 3, Episode 8 &quot;The Instant White-Hot Wild&quot;
**Note: Punctured through chest and disemboweled by Homelander for not telling him about his father. Said words are written.
*'''FUCK YOU, FASCIST!'''
**Who: Ronan Keatings
**Source: Season 3, Episode 8 &quot;The Instant White-Hot Wild&quot;
**Note: Lasered by Homelander for throwing a can at Ryan.
*'''JESUS!'''
**Who: Todd
**Source: Season 4, Episode 1 &quot;Department of Dirty Tricks&quot;
**Note: Beaten to death with a bat by Black Noir II, on Homelander's orders, orchestrated by Sister Sage.
*'''Who are you?'''
**Who: Koy
**Source: Season 4, Episode 2 &quot;Life Among the Septics&quot;
**Note: Accidentally thrown into a building by Ryan Butcher during a fake mission, on Homelander's orders.
*'''You know, you-'''
**Who: Splinter
**Source: Season 4, Episode 2 &quot;Life Among the Septics&quot;
**Note: Stabbed in the head with a crowbar by Billy Butcher in self-defense.
*'''Yes, Starlight did call me a few days ago. She just... Wanted some help tracking-''' 
**Who: Anika
**Source: Season 4, Episode 3 &quot;We'll Keep the Red Flag Flying Here&quot;
**Note: Lasered in the head by Homelander for contacting Starlight.
*'''''Homelander! DON'T DO THIS! No!'''''
**Who: Frank
**Source: Season 4, Episode 4 &quot;Wisdom of the Ages&quot;
**Note: Incinerated by Homelander in a oven in revenge.
*'''I'm sorry...'''
**Who: Martin
**Source: Season 4, Episode 4 &quot;Wisdom of the Ages&quot;
**Note: Head crushed by Homelander after being lasered through the groin in revenge.
*'''What do you think you're doing?'''
**Who: Ezekiel
**Source: Season 4, Episode 4 &quot;Wisdom of the Ages&quot;
**Note: Eviscerated by Butcher (&quot;Joe Kessler&quot;) offscreen
*'''SOMEONE SET ME UP! SOMEONE SET ME UP! ''I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!'''''
**Who: Cameron Coleman
**Source: Season 4, Episode 5 &quot;Beware the Jabberwock, My Son&quot;
**Note: Beaten to death by the The Deep, Black Noir II, Firecracker, Cate Dunlap, Sam Riordan and Tek Knight, on Homelander's orders, set up by Ashley Barrett, orchestrated by Sister Sage.
*'''Oh, yeah! The three of us... The three of us... Visit all those... those spots where... Tom... Tom Hanks...'''
**Who: Hugh Campbell Sr.
**Source: Season 4, Episode 5 &quot;Beware the Jabberwock, My Son&quot;
**Note: Euthanized by Hughie Campbell to stop the side-effects of Compound V.
*'''Look, I don't know anything else, okay?! That's all!'''
**Who: Tek Knight
**Source: Season 4, Episode 6 &quot;Dirty Business&quot;
**Note: Strangled by Elijah.
*'''It wasn't me. No, please!'''
**Who: Webweaver
**Source: Season 4, Episode 7 &quot;The Insider&quot;
**Note: Ripped in half by Homelander after being discovered by Firecracker as a spy of The Boys.
*'''I love you...'''
**Who: Ambrosius
**Source: Season 4, Episode 7 &quot;The Insider&quot;
**Note: Suffocated after her tank was broken by The Deep.
*'''You couldn't even blast yourself out, could you?'''
**Who: The Shapeshifter
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Strangled to death by Starlight to save Robert Singer and The Boys.
*'''N-No, I'm not, I swear...'''
**Who: Evan Lambert
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Face crushed with a punch by The Deep during a purge of Vought employees, on Homelander's orders.
*'''''I'm sorry.'''''
**Who: Grace Mallory
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Neck broken accidentally after being thrown into a wall by Ryan Butcher for trying to detain him.
*'''I will owe you many.'''
**Who: Victoria Neuman
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Ripped in half by Billy Butcher (&quot;Joe Kessler&quot;) after attempting to ally with The Boys.
*'''I-It ain't gonna change nothing!'''
**Who: Sam Butcher
**Source: Season 5, Episode 1 &quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;
**Note: Killed by Billy Butcher and his body thrown into the River Thames offscreen.
*'''You’re just an empty fucking suit. Take away those powers…and what are you, huh? A pathetic, weak, sniveling fucking loser.'''
**Who: A-Train
**Source: Season 5, Episode 1 &quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;
**Note: Neck broken by Homelander.
*'''No virus. Bitch, I will shoot hot cum in your face.'''
**Who: Rock Hard
**Source: Season 5, Episode 2 &quot;Teenage Kix&quot;
**Note: Spoken through text-to-speech program; Killed by the Supe Virus released by Frenchie.
*'''Bro! Do ''not'' nut right now.'''
**Who: Jetstreak
**Source: Season 5, Episode 2 &quot;Teenage Kix&quot;
**Note: Killed by the Supe Virus released by Frenchie.
*'''My ass hurts so fucking much.'''
**Who: Adam Bourke
**Source: Season 5, Episode 5 &quot;One-Shots&quot;
**Note: Disemboweled by an eel on the orders of The Deep
*'''I don't know, I haven't talked to him in, like, five years. I swear man, I swear to God. Please! Oh, my...&quot; Mr. Marathon'''
**Who: Mr. Marathon
**Source: Season 5, Episode 5 &quot;One-Shots&quot;
**Note: Said to Soldier Boy about Bombsight. 
*'''But I do believe in you. I love you! I am the only one here who ever has! I gave you everything! I gave you my soul! Everybody else here, they're just... They're just scared of you. Or they want something from you, but I have always loved you for you. Just the strongest, smartest, best man on Earth.''' ''('''Homelander''': &quot;Man?&quot;)'' '''No, no, no, no, no. A god. No. No, the God. My Lord, that look you used to get when you'd suckle me? I felt like Mother Mary herself. I felt blessed to nourish someone as important as you. [pause; Homelander sighs] But nothing I ever did was good enough, was it? You cast me out into the cold, which was so much worse than never feeling your warmth in the first place. So all I have been tryin' to do is to get you to see me the way that you used to. Hell, only reason I was with Soldier Boy was that your reflected light is better than no light at all. Please, sir. I love you. We all need love, don't we? Even God.'''
**Who: Firecracker
**Source: Season 5, Episode 5 &quot;One-Shots&quot;
**Note: Killed by Homelander, who impaled her head on the left wing of an eagle statue.
*'''We know, Kevin. We know it was you.'''
**Who: Jeremy
**Source: Season 5, Episode 6 &quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;
**Note: Killed along with 1.4 billion fish due to dydrocarbon intoxication following the Alaskan oil spill. Caused by Black Noir II by puncturing a drainpipe to frame the Deep.
*'''Sucks to suck, dipshit.''' ''(Soundboard: &quot;'''Stop. Loser. Br-Br-Bro.'''&quot;)'' '''So let's record this stupid fucking thing.'''
**Who: Black Noir II
**Source: Season 5, Episode 6 &quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;
**Note: After revealing he caused the pipeline genocide in Alaska, Black Noir II says this before the Deep kills him in a fit of rage by slicing his throat with his own dagger.
*'''Hey, some kid shit on the floor in the men's room again.'''
**Who: Tanner
**Source: Season 5, Episode 6 &quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;
**Note: Body lasered in half by Homelander.
*'''What the ''fuck'' is that?!'''
**Who: President Steven Calhoun
**Source: Season 5, Episode 7 &quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;
**Note: Horrified with Ashley Barrett's &quot;Bashley&quot; face before his head is crushed by Homelander for being a &quot;non-believer&quot;.
*'''Je t'aime, from the very start.'''
**Who: Serge / Frenchie
**Source: Season 5, Episode 7 &quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;
**Note: Said to Kimiko before succumbing to the effects of radiation poisoning.
*'''Right?'''
**Who: Gunter van Ellis
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: Suffocated after being flown into space by Homelander.
*'''Where's Butcher?'''
**Who: Oh Father
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie before attempting to blast him with his sonic scream, only for Mother's Milk to put a titanium mouth gag in his mouth, causing him to blow his head up with his own powers.
*'''I'm sorry! Oh, shit...'''
**Who: The Deep
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: After being blasted into the ocean by Starlight, the Deep is cornered by numerous sea animals who blame him for the the pipeline genocide and sought to avenge Ambrosius. As The Deep tries desperately swim back to shore, he is eventually trapped and killed by the tentacle of a squid, as his corpse soon falls back in the deep water.
*'''Madelyn, you promised me. It's not real. You can't fucking do this. You can't fucking do this! I am the Homelander!''' (''Billy: No, you ain't nothing. And this... this is for my Becca.'') '''No... nuh...'''
**Who: Homelander
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: After Kimiko (who was enhanced with enriched uranium to receive Soldier Boy's replicated nuclear depowering beam) renders him powerless, Homelander says this before Butcher impales his skull with a crowbar, and rips his brain apart, killing him.
*'''You really are... the spittin' of Lenny...'''
**Who: Billy Butcher
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie, who shot and killed him to stop him.

===''[[Gen V]]'' (2023-2025)===
*'''Most of you are, perfect specimens a super-abled excellence, but, if I'm being totally honest, you are the worst pre-call I have ever met, and you don't even go there sweetheart.''' ''('''Jordan Li''': &quot;You fucking asshole! I'm gonna kill you!&quot;)'' '''And the only thing worse than weakness... is treason, you have all betrayed your kind... There is no place for you here in this school, or in the world to come.'''
**Who: Dr. Thomas R. Godolkin
**Source: Season 2, Episode 8: &quot;Trojan&quot;
**Note: Said while possessing Marie, only to be incapacitated by Polarity, before his head is blown up by Marie; events are set up by Sister Sage.

===''[[The Boys Presents: Diabolical]]'' (2022)===
*'''Come on! Papa needs a new pair of SHOES!'''
**Who: The Great Wide Wonder
**Source: Episode 3: &quot;I'm Your Pusher&quot;
**Note: Poisoned by a chemical made by Frenchie and mixed with his heroin enema liquid, the Great Wide Wonder enters a drug induced excitement state. During a festive &quot;Hall of Fame&quot; event hosted by Homelander, the Great Wide Wonder uncontrollably flies right through Ironcast's stomach, gruesomely killing them both.

==External links==
{{The Boys}}
{{DISPLAYTITLE:Last words in ''The Boys'' media}}
[[Category:Fictional last words|Boys, The]]
[[Category:The Boys]]</text>
      <sha1>3nybcnzin0vcw4a6sa7d3vg2ckfae9r</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944086</id>
      <parentid>3943983</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T23:29:35Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Comics */</comment>
      <origin>3944086</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="16998" sha1="saku5jd4eghmp50rnvm5j4mmbykl69j" xml:space="preserve">Following is a list of last words from ''[[w:The Boys (franchise)|The Boys]]'' franchise.

{{Stub}}
==Comics==
*'''&lt;big&gt;YOU FUCKING FUCKING FUCK!! YOU FUCKED MY LIFE!!!&lt;/big&gt;'''
**Who: Homelander
**Source: Issue #65
**Note: Beaten and torn apart by Black Noir, who is revealed to be a clone of Homelander created by Vought-American as a fail-safe to kill him if he ever went rogue.
*'''HHEEENNNHHHH.  HHEEENNNHHHH.''' HHEENNNHHH. '''HHEENNNHHH. HEE--'''
**Who: Black Noir
**Source: Issue #65
**Note: Black Noir's brain is crushed after Butcher cracks open his skull with a crowbar.

==TV Series==
===''[[The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]'' (2019-2026)===
*'''Well, I mean, we can't keep, you know, laying pipe at your dad's place. Trying to be all quiet. Staring up at that dumb Billy Joel post- ...poster.'''
**Who: Robin Ward
**Source: Season 1, Episode 1 &quot;The Name of the Game&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie Campbell before she is accidentally disintegrated by A-Train, who is running at superhuman speed while intoxicated by Compound V, briefly acknowledging the accident before running away.
*'''Oh, my God.'''
**Who: Mayor Steve of Baltimore
**Source: Season 1, Episode 1 &quot;The Name of the Game&quot;
**Note: Said after Homelander fires his heat vision in the plane Steve and his son are at.
*'''Aren't you guys friends?'''
**Who: Mason
**Source: Season 1, Episode 1 &quot;The Name of the Game&quot;
**Note: Said to his father Mayor Steve before Homelander fires his heat vision in the plane he is at.
*'''Attaboy.'''
**Who: Translucent
**Source: Season 1, Episode 2 &quot;Cherry&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie after he lets him out, only for Hughie to blow him up with a detonator implanted on him by Butcher and Frenchie.
*'''I'm a filthy little pig who likes to eat ass.'''
**Who: Aleksy Lutz
**Source: Season 1, Episode 3 &quot;Get Some&quot;
**Note: Aleksy’s head is accidentally crushed by Popclaw.
*'''Mani? Pedi? Special deal.'''
**Who: Roberta Cho
**Source: Season 1, Episode 4 &quot;The Female of the Species&quot;
**Note: Beaten and torn apart by Kimiko.
*'''Why?'''
**Who: Popclaw
**Source: Season 1, Episode 5 &quot;Good for the Soul&quot;
**Note: Forced into a heroin overdose by A-Train.
*'''Please, I have a daughter! NO!'''
**Who: Mesmer
**Source: Season 1, Episode 7 &quot;The Self-Preservation Society&quot;
**Note: Beaten to death by Butcher.
*'''I'm scared of you...'''
**Who: Madelyn Stillwell
**Source: Season 1, Episode 8 &quot;You Found Me&quot;
**Note: Killed by Homelander, who burns her face with heat vision.
*'''BURN IN TRUTH!'''
**Who: Naqib
**Source: Season 2, Episode 1 &quot;The Big Ride&quot;
**Note: Spoken in Arabic; decapitated by Black Noir.
*'''The whole picture? It's Vought. It's a fucking coup from the inside.'''
**Who: Susan Raynor
**Source: Season 2, Episode 1 &quot;The Big Ride&quot;
**Note: Said before her head is exploded by Victoria Neuman.
*'''I love you too.'''
**Who: Kenji Miyashiro
**Source: Season 2, Episode 3 &quot;Over the Hill with the Swords of a Thousand Men&quot;
**Note: Spoken in Japanese to his sister Kimiko; Kenji's neck is snapped by Stormfront.
*'''Why are you doing this to me, lady? 'Aren't you supposed to be a hero?!'''
**Who: Myron Hunter
**Source: Season 2, Episode 4 &quot;Nothing Like It in the World&quot;
**Note: He was killed by Liberty in a racially motivated beating after falsely accusing him of committing a robbery due to fitting the suspect's profile.
*'''Oh, you're so special. The most special man on the planet. Everybody loves you. Everybody. Their love is your strength.'''
**Who: Doppelganger
**Source: Season 2, Episode 4 &quot;Nothing Like It in the World&quot;
**Note: His neck is snapped by Homelander.
*'''I'm not doing any more of these stupid pet tricks until I talk to my sister!'''
**Who: Tim
**Source: Season 2, Episode 6 &quot;The Bloody Doors Off&quot;
**Note: Burned alive by Lamplighter.
*'''I don't want them to hurt me again...'''
**Who: Sage Grove EMP Supe
**Source: Season 2, Episode 6 &quot;The Bloody Doors Off&quot;
**Note: Blown up by Cindy during a riot.
*'''I just wanted to make my dad proud...'''
**Who: Lamplighter
**Source: Season 2, Episode 7 &quot;Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker&quot;
**Note: Commits suicide by immolation after realizing Vought erased his legacy.
*'''I do.'''
**Who: Jonah Vogelbaum
**Source: Season 2, Episode 7 &quot;Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker&quot;
**Note: Head blown up by Victoria Neuman to stop him from testifying against Vought, on Stan Edgar's orders.
*'''You promised me you'd keep him safe.'''
**Who: Rebecca &quot;Becca&quot; Butcher
**Source: Season 2, Episode 8 &quot;What I Know&quot;
**Note: Throat accidentally cut with lasers by her son Ryan when he tried to kill Stormfront.
*'''Wait. Please... ''Please''.'''
**Who: Stormfront
**Source: Season 2, Episode 4 &quot;What I Know&quot;
**Note: Critically injured by Ryan's heat vision. Those are her last spoken lines before she commits suicide off-screen. 
*'''No. No, please. Oh God, OH GOD!'''
**Who: Chelsea
**Source: Season 3, Episode 2 &quot;The Only Man in the Sky&quot;
**Note: Forced to jump off a building by Homelander.
*'''Okay, please! Please, look. Fuck, I told you everything I know. Alright? Please, just, just–'''
**Who: Gunpowder
**Source: Season 3, Episode 2 &quot;The Only Man in the Sky&quot;
**Note: Head accidentally lasered in half by Billy Butcher for trying to kill him.
*'''Fuck! FUCK!'''
**Who: Swatto
**Source: Season 3, Episode 4 &quot;Barbary Coast&quot;
**Note: Blown up with a missile during an attack by Russian soldiers.
*'''I didn't love you. I hated you. We all did.'''
**Who: Crimson Countess
**Source: Season 3, Episode 4 &quot;The Last Time to Look on This World of Lies&quot;
**Note: Incinerated by Soldier Boy for selling him out to the Russians.
*'''TNT! Detonate!'''
**Who: TNT Twins
**Source: Season 3, Episode 6 &quot;Herogasm&quot;
**Note: Accidentally incinerated by Soldier Boy after he had a PTSD-induced flashback.
*'''The fuck?! Get your fucking hands off me!'''
**Who: Blue Hawk
**Source: Season 3, Episode 6 &quot;Herogasm&quot;
**Note: Dragged to death by A-Train for paralyzing Nathan.
*'''HELP ME! SOMEONE, PLEASE HELP-'''
**Who: Termite
**Source: Season 3, Episode 6 &quot;Herogasm&quot;
**Note: Left powerless by Soldier Boy's radioactive blast, and stepped on by Homelander.
*'''Come off it, Billy. You always have been, 'cause anyone who's ever loved you, you end up getting them killed, don't you? Me. Becca. Now Hughie, the last person on God's green earth trying to stop you from being a monster and what do you do? Drag him down to your level. When he dies, and he will, then no one can stop you. Can they?'''
**Who: Lenny Butcher
**Source: Season 3, Episode 7 &quot;Here Comes a Candle to Light You to Bed&quot;
**Note: Said in a hypnosis-induced nightmare; Shot himself in the head after being abandoned by Billy with their abusive father.
*'''They gave him the green-light!'''
**Who: Mindstorm
**Source: Season 3, Episode 7 &quot;Here Comes a Candle to Light You to Bed&quot;
**Note: Stabbed to death by Soldier Boy for selling him out to the Russians.
*'''MUST KILL HIM'''
**Source: Season 3, Episode 8 &quot;The Instant White-Hot Wild&quot;
**Note: Punctured through chest and disemboweled by Homelander for not telling him about his father. Said words are written.
*'''FUCK YOU, FASCIST!'''
**Who: Ronan Keatings
**Source: Season 3, Episode 8 &quot;The Instant White-Hot Wild&quot;
**Note: Lasered by Homelander for throwing a can at Ryan.
*'''JESUS!'''
**Who: Todd
**Source: Season 4, Episode 1 &quot;Department of Dirty Tricks&quot;
**Note: Beaten to death with a bat by Black Noir II, on Homelander's orders, orchestrated by Sister Sage.
*'''Who are you?'''
**Who: Koy
**Source: Season 4, Episode 2 &quot;Life Among the Septics&quot;
**Note: Accidentally thrown into a building by Ryan Butcher during a fake mission, on Homelander's orders.
*'''You know, you-'''
**Who: Splinter
**Source: Season 4, Episode 2 &quot;Life Among the Septics&quot;
**Note: Stabbed in the head with a crowbar by Billy Butcher in self-defense.
*'''Yes, Starlight did call me a few days ago. She just... Wanted some help tracking-''' 
**Who: Anika
**Source: Season 4, Episode 3 &quot;We'll Keep the Red Flag Flying Here&quot;
**Note: Lasered in the head by Homelander for contacting Starlight.
*'''''Homelander! DON'T DO THIS! No!'''''
**Who: Frank
**Source: Season 4, Episode 4 &quot;Wisdom of the Ages&quot;
**Note: Incinerated by Homelander in a oven in revenge.
*'''I'm sorry...'''
**Who: Martin
**Source: Season 4, Episode 4 &quot;Wisdom of the Ages&quot;
**Note: Head crushed by Homelander after being lasered through the groin in revenge.
*'''What do you think you're doing?'''
**Who: Ezekiel
**Source: Season 4, Episode 4 &quot;Wisdom of the Ages&quot;
**Note: Eviscerated by Butcher (&quot;Joe Kessler&quot;) offscreen
*'''SOMEONE SET ME UP! SOMEONE SET ME UP! ''I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!'''''
**Who: Cameron Coleman
**Source: Season 4, Episode 5 &quot;Beware the Jabberwock, My Son&quot;
**Note: Beaten to death by the The Deep, Black Noir II, Firecracker, Cate Dunlap, Sam Riordan and Tek Knight, on Homelander's orders, set up by Ashley Barrett, orchestrated by Sister Sage.
*'''Oh, yeah! The three of us... The three of us... Visit all those... those spots where... Tom... Tom Hanks...'''
**Who: Hugh Campbell Sr.
**Source: Season 4, Episode 5 &quot;Beware the Jabberwock, My Son&quot;
**Note: Euthanized by Hughie Campbell to stop the side-effects of Compound V.
*'''Look, I don't know anything else, okay?! That's all!'''
**Who: Tek Knight
**Source: Season 4, Episode 6 &quot;Dirty Business&quot;
**Note: Strangled by Elijah.
*'''It wasn't me. No, please!'''
**Who: Webweaver
**Source: Season 4, Episode 7 &quot;The Insider&quot;
**Note: Ripped in half by Homelander after being discovered by Firecracker as a spy of The Boys.
*'''I love you...'''
**Who: Ambrosius
**Source: Season 4, Episode 7 &quot;The Insider&quot;
**Note: Suffocated after her tank was broken by The Deep.
*'''You couldn't even blast yourself out, could you?'''
**Who: The Shapeshifter
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Strangled to death by Starlight to save Robert Singer and The Boys.
*'''N-No, I'm not, I swear...'''
**Who: Evan Lambert
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Face crushed with a punch by The Deep during a purge of Vought employees, on Homelander's orders.
*'''''I'm sorry.'''''
**Who: Grace Mallory
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Neck broken accidentally after being thrown into a wall by Ryan Butcher for trying to detain him.
*'''I will owe you many.'''
**Who: Victoria Neuman
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Ripped in half by Billy Butcher (&quot;Joe Kessler&quot;) after attempting to ally with The Boys.
*'''I-It ain't gonna change nothing!'''
**Who: Sam Butcher
**Source: Season 5, Episode 1 &quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;
**Note: Killed by Billy Butcher and his body thrown into the River Thames offscreen.
*'''You’re just an empty fucking suit. Take away those powers…and what are you, huh? A pathetic, weak, sniveling fucking loser.'''
**Who: A-Train
**Source: Season 5, Episode 1 &quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;
**Note: Neck broken by Homelander.
*'''No virus. Bitch, I will shoot hot cum in your face.'''
**Who: Rock Hard
**Source: Season 5, Episode 2 &quot;Teenage Kix&quot;
**Note: Spoken through text-to-speech program; Killed by the Supe Virus released by Frenchie.
*'''Bro! Do ''not'' nut right now.'''
**Who: Jetstreak
**Source: Season 5, Episode 2 &quot;Teenage Kix&quot;
**Note: Killed by the Supe Virus released by Frenchie.
*'''My ass hurts so fucking much.'''
**Who: Adam Bourke
**Source: Season 5, Episode 5 &quot;One-Shots&quot;
**Note: Disemboweled by an eel on the orders of The Deep
*'''I don't know, I haven't talked to him in, like, five years. I swear man, I swear to God. Please! Oh, my...&quot; Mr. Marathon'''
**Who: Mr. Marathon
**Source: Season 5, Episode 5 &quot;One-Shots&quot;
**Note: Said to Soldier Boy about Bombsight. 
*'''But I do believe in you. I love you! I am the only one here who ever has! I gave you everything! I gave you my soul! Everybody else here, they're just... They're just scared of you. Or they want something from you, but I have always loved you for you. Just the strongest, smartest, best man on Earth.''' ''('''Homelander''': &quot;Man?&quot;)'' '''No, no, no, no, no. A god. No. No, the God. My Lord, that look you used to get when you'd suckle me? I felt like Mother Mary herself. I felt blessed to nourish someone as important as you. [pause; Homelander sighs] But nothing I ever did was good enough, was it? You cast me out into the cold, which was so much worse than never feeling your warmth in the first place. So all I have been tryin' to do is to get you to see me the way that you used to. Hell, only reason I was with Soldier Boy was that your reflected light is better than no light at all. Please, sir. I love you. We all need love, don't we? Even God.'''
**Who: Firecracker
**Source: Season 5, Episode 5 &quot;One-Shots&quot;
**Note: Killed by Homelander, who impaled her head on the left wing of an eagle statue.
*'''We know, Kevin. We know it was you.'''
**Who: Jeremy
**Source: Season 5, Episode 6 &quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;
**Note: Killed along with 1.4 billion fish due to dydrocarbon intoxication following the Alaskan oil spill. Caused by Black Noir II by puncturing a drainpipe to frame the Deep.
*'''Sucks to suck, dipshit.''' ''(Soundboard: &quot;'''Stop. Loser. Br-Br-Bro.'''&quot;)'' '''So let's record this stupid fucking thing.'''
**Who: Black Noir II
**Source: Season 5, Episode 6 &quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;
**Note: After revealing he caused the pipeline genocide in Alaska, Black Noir II says this before the Deep kills him in a fit of rage by slicing his throat with his own dagger.
*'''Hey, some kid shit on the floor in the men's room again.'''
**Who: Tanner
**Source: Season 5, Episode 6 &quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;
**Note: Body lasered in half by Homelander.
*'''What the ''fuck'' is that?!'''
**Who: President Steven Calhoun
**Source: Season 5, Episode 7 &quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;
**Note: Horrified with Ashley Barrett's &quot;Bashley&quot; face before his head is crushed by Homelander for being a &quot;non-believer&quot;.
*'''Je t'aime, from the very start.'''
**Who: Serge / Frenchie
**Source: Season 5, Episode 7 &quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;
**Note: Said to Kimiko before succumbing to the effects of radiation poisoning.
*'''Right?'''
**Who: Gunter van Ellis
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: Suffocated after being flown into space by Homelander.
*'''Where's Butcher?'''
**Who: Oh Father
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie before attempting to blast him with his sonic scream, only for Mother's Milk to put a titanium mouth gag in his mouth, causing him to blow his head up with his own powers.
*'''I'm sorry! Oh, shit...'''
**Who: The Deep
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: After being blasted into the ocean by Starlight, the Deep is cornered by numerous sea animals who blame him for the the pipeline genocide and sought to avenge Ambrosius. As The Deep tries desperately swim back to shore, he is eventually trapped and killed by the tentacle of a squid, as his corpse soon falls back in the deep water.
*'''Madelyn, you promised me. It's not real. You can't fucking do this. You can't fucking do this! I am the Homelander!''' (''Billy: No, you ain't nothing. And this... this is for my Becca.'') '''No... nuh...'''
**Who: Homelander
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: After Kimiko (who was enhanced with enriched uranium to receive Soldier Boy's replicated nuclear depowering beam) renders him powerless, Homelander says this before Butcher impales his skull with a crowbar, and rips his brain apart, killing him.
*'''You really are... the spittin' of Lenny...'''
**Who: Billy Butcher
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie, who shot and killed him to stop him.

===''[[Gen V]]'' (2023-2025)===
*'''Most of you are, perfect specimens a super-abled excellence, but, if I'm being totally honest, you are the worst pre-call I have ever met, and you don't even go there sweetheart.''' ''('''Jordan Li''': &quot;You fucking asshole! I'm gonna kill you!&quot;)'' '''And the only thing worse than weakness... is treason, you have all betrayed your kind... There is no place for you here in this school, or in the world to come.'''
**Who: Dr. Thomas R. Godolkin
**Source: Season 2, Episode 8: &quot;Trojan&quot;
**Note: Said while possessing Marie, only to be incapacitated by Polarity, before his head is blown up by Marie; events are set up by Sister Sage.

===''[[The Boys Presents: Diabolical]]'' (2022)===
*'''Come on! Papa needs a new pair of SHOES!'''
**Who: The Great Wide Wonder
**Source: Episode 3: &quot;I'm Your Pusher&quot;
**Note: Poisoned by a chemical made by Frenchie and mixed with his heroin enema liquid, the Great Wide Wonder enters a drug induced excitement state. During a festive &quot;Hall of Fame&quot; event hosted by Homelander, the Great Wide Wonder uncontrollably flies right through Ironcast's stomach, gruesomely killing them both.

==External links==
{{The Boys}}
{{DISPLAYTITLE:Last words in ''The Boys'' media}}
[[Category:Fictional last words|Boys, The]]
[[Category:The Boys]]</text>
      <sha1>saku5jd4eghmp50rnvm5j4mmbykl69j</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944088</id>
      <parentid>3944086</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T23:43:04Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Comics */</comment>
      <origin>3944088</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="17146" sha1="05ppw3leq6c80kfe4068hui85chmy3g" xml:space="preserve">Following is a list of last words from ''[[w:The Boys (franchise)|The Boys]]'' franchise.

{{Stub}}
==Comics==
*'''But this has nothing to do with that...'''
**Who: Queen Maeve
**Source: Issue #63
**Note: Said to Homelander, who decapitates her with a punch.
*'''&lt;big&gt;YOU FUCKING FUCKING FUCK!! YOU FUCKED MY LIFE!!!&lt;/big&gt;'''
**Who: Homelander
**Source: Issue #65
**Note: Beaten and torn apart by Black Noir, who is revealed to be a clone of Homelander created by Vought-American as a fail-safe to kill him if he ever went rogue.
*'''HHEEENNNHHHH.  HHEEENNNHHHH.''' HHEENNNHHH. '''HHEENNNHHH. HEE--'''
**Who: Black Noir
**Source: Issue #65
**Note: Black Noir's brain is crushed after Butcher cracks open his skull with a crowbar.

==TV Series==
===''[[The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]'' (2019-2026)===
*'''Well, I mean, we can't keep, you know, laying pipe at your dad's place. Trying to be all quiet. Staring up at that dumb Billy Joel post- ...poster.'''
**Who: Robin Ward
**Source: Season 1, Episode 1 &quot;The Name of the Game&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie Campbell before she is accidentally disintegrated by A-Train, who is running at superhuman speed while intoxicated by Compound V, briefly acknowledging the accident before running away.
*'''Oh, my God.'''
**Who: Mayor Steve of Baltimore
**Source: Season 1, Episode 1 &quot;The Name of the Game&quot;
**Note: Said after Homelander fires his heat vision in the plane Steve and his son are at.
*'''Aren't you guys friends?'''
**Who: Mason
**Source: Season 1, Episode 1 &quot;The Name of the Game&quot;
**Note: Said to his father Mayor Steve before Homelander fires his heat vision in the plane he is at.
*'''Attaboy.'''
**Who: Translucent
**Source: Season 1, Episode 2 &quot;Cherry&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie after he lets him out, only for Hughie to blow him up with a detonator implanted on him by Butcher and Frenchie.
*'''I'm a filthy little pig who likes to eat ass.'''
**Who: Aleksy Lutz
**Source: Season 1, Episode 3 &quot;Get Some&quot;
**Note: Aleksy’s head is accidentally crushed by Popclaw.
*'''Mani? Pedi? Special deal.'''
**Who: Roberta Cho
**Source: Season 1, Episode 4 &quot;The Female of the Species&quot;
**Note: Beaten and torn apart by Kimiko.
*'''Why?'''
**Who: Popclaw
**Source: Season 1, Episode 5 &quot;Good for the Soul&quot;
**Note: Forced into a heroin overdose by A-Train.
*'''Please, I have a daughter! NO!'''
**Who: Mesmer
**Source: Season 1, Episode 7 &quot;The Self-Preservation Society&quot;
**Note: Beaten to death by Butcher.
*'''I'm scared of you...'''
**Who: Madelyn Stillwell
**Source: Season 1, Episode 8 &quot;You Found Me&quot;
**Note: Killed by Homelander, who burns her face with heat vision.
*'''BURN IN TRUTH!'''
**Who: Naqib
**Source: Season 2, Episode 1 &quot;The Big Ride&quot;
**Note: Spoken in Arabic; decapitated by Black Noir.
*'''The whole picture? It's Vought. It's a fucking coup from the inside.'''
**Who: Susan Raynor
**Source: Season 2, Episode 1 &quot;The Big Ride&quot;
**Note: Said before her head is exploded by Victoria Neuman.
*'''I love you too.'''
**Who: Kenji Miyashiro
**Source: Season 2, Episode 3 &quot;Over the Hill with the Swords of a Thousand Men&quot;
**Note: Spoken in Japanese to his sister Kimiko; Kenji's neck is snapped by Stormfront.
*'''Why are you doing this to me, lady? 'Aren't you supposed to be a hero?!'''
**Who: Myron Hunter
**Source: Season 2, Episode 4 &quot;Nothing Like It in the World&quot;
**Note: He was killed by Liberty in a racially motivated beating after falsely accusing him of committing a robbery due to fitting the suspect's profile.
*'''Oh, you're so special. The most special man on the planet. Everybody loves you. Everybody. Their love is your strength.'''
**Who: Doppelganger
**Source: Season 2, Episode 4 &quot;Nothing Like It in the World&quot;
**Note: His neck is snapped by Homelander.
*'''I'm not doing any more of these stupid pet tricks until I talk to my sister!'''
**Who: Tim
**Source: Season 2, Episode 6 &quot;The Bloody Doors Off&quot;
**Note: Burned alive by Lamplighter.
*'''I don't want them to hurt me again...'''
**Who: Sage Grove EMP Supe
**Source: Season 2, Episode 6 &quot;The Bloody Doors Off&quot;
**Note: Blown up by Cindy during a riot.
*'''I just wanted to make my dad proud...'''
**Who: Lamplighter
**Source: Season 2, Episode 7 &quot;Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker&quot;
**Note: Commits suicide by immolation after realizing Vought erased his legacy.
*'''I do.'''
**Who: Jonah Vogelbaum
**Source: Season 2, Episode 7 &quot;Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker&quot;
**Note: Head blown up by Victoria Neuman to stop him from testifying against Vought, on Stan Edgar's orders.
*'''You promised me you'd keep him safe.'''
**Who: Rebecca &quot;Becca&quot; Butcher
**Source: Season 2, Episode 8 &quot;What I Know&quot;
**Note: Throat accidentally cut with lasers by her son Ryan when he tried to kill Stormfront.
*'''Wait. Please... ''Please''.'''
**Who: Stormfront
**Source: Season 2, Episode 4 &quot;What I Know&quot;
**Note: Critically injured by Ryan's heat vision. Those are her last spoken lines before she commits suicide off-screen. 
*'''No. No, please. Oh God, OH GOD!'''
**Who: Chelsea
**Source: Season 3, Episode 2 &quot;The Only Man in the Sky&quot;
**Note: Forced to jump off a building by Homelander.
*'''Okay, please! Please, look. Fuck, I told you everything I know. Alright? Please, just, just–'''
**Who: Gunpowder
**Source: Season 3, Episode 2 &quot;The Only Man in the Sky&quot;
**Note: Head accidentally lasered in half by Billy Butcher for trying to kill him.
*'''Fuck! FUCK!'''
**Who: Swatto
**Source: Season 3, Episode 4 &quot;Barbary Coast&quot;
**Note: Blown up with a missile during an attack by Russian soldiers.
*'''I didn't love you. I hated you. We all did.'''
**Who: Crimson Countess
**Source: Season 3, Episode 4 &quot;The Last Time to Look on This World of Lies&quot;
**Note: Incinerated by Soldier Boy for selling him out to the Russians.
*'''TNT! Detonate!'''
**Who: TNT Twins
**Source: Season 3, Episode 6 &quot;Herogasm&quot;
**Note: Accidentally incinerated by Soldier Boy after he had a PTSD-induced flashback.
*'''The fuck?! Get your fucking hands off me!'''
**Who: Blue Hawk
**Source: Season 3, Episode 6 &quot;Herogasm&quot;
**Note: Dragged to death by A-Train for paralyzing Nathan.
*'''HELP ME! SOMEONE, PLEASE HELP-'''
**Who: Termite
**Source: Season 3, Episode 6 &quot;Herogasm&quot;
**Note: Left powerless by Soldier Boy's radioactive blast, and stepped on by Homelander.
*'''Come off it, Billy. You always have been, 'cause anyone who's ever loved you, you end up getting them killed, don't you? Me. Becca. Now Hughie, the last person on God's green earth trying to stop you from being a monster and what do you do? Drag him down to your level. When he dies, and he will, then no one can stop you. Can they?'''
**Who: Lenny Butcher
**Source: Season 3, Episode 7 &quot;Here Comes a Candle to Light You to Bed&quot;
**Note: Said in a hypnosis-induced nightmare; Shot himself in the head after being abandoned by Billy with their abusive father.
*'''They gave him the green-light!'''
**Who: Mindstorm
**Source: Season 3, Episode 7 &quot;Here Comes a Candle to Light You to Bed&quot;
**Note: Stabbed to death by Soldier Boy for selling him out to the Russians.
*'''MUST KILL HIM'''
**Source: Season 3, Episode 8 &quot;The Instant White-Hot Wild&quot;
**Note: Punctured through chest and disemboweled by Homelander for not telling him about his father. Said words are written.
*'''FUCK YOU, FASCIST!'''
**Who: Ronan Keatings
**Source: Season 3, Episode 8 &quot;The Instant White-Hot Wild&quot;
**Note: Lasered by Homelander for throwing a can at Ryan.
*'''JESUS!'''
**Who: Todd
**Source: Season 4, Episode 1 &quot;Department of Dirty Tricks&quot;
**Note: Beaten to death with a bat by Black Noir II, on Homelander's orders, orchestrated by Sister Sage.
*'''Who are you?'''
**Who: Koy
**Source: Season 4, Episode 2 &quot;Life Among the Septics&quot;
**Note: Accidentally thrown into a building by Ryan Butcher during a fake mission, on Homelander's orders.
*'''You know, you-'''
**Who: Splinter
**Source: Season 4, Episode 2 &quot;Life Among the Septics&quot;
**Note: Stabbed in the head with a crowbar by Billy Butcher in self-defense.
*'''Yes, Starlight did call me a few days ago. She just... Wanted some help tracking-''' 
**Who: Anika
**Source: Season 4, Episode 3 &quot;We'll Keep the Red Flag Flying Here&quot;
**Note: Lasered in the head by Homelander for contacting Starlight.
*'''''Homelander! DON'T DO THIS! No!'''''
**Who: Frank
**Source: Season 4, Episode 4 &quot;Wisdom of the Ages&quot;
**Note: Incinerated by Homelander in a oven in revenge.
*'''I'm sorry...'''
**Who: Martin
**Source: Season 4, Episode 4 &quot;Wisdom of the Ages&quot;
**Note: Head crushed by Homelander after being lasered through the groin in revenge.
*'''What do you think you're doing?'''
**Who: Ezekiel
**Source: Season 4, Episode 4 &quot;Wisdom of the Ages&quot;
**Note: Eviscerated by Butcher (&quot;Joe Kessler&quot;) offscreen
*'''SOMEONE SET ME UP! SOMEONE SET ME UP! ''I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!'''''
**Who: Cameron Coleman
**Source: Season 4, Episode 5 &quot;Beware the Jabberwock, My Son&quot;
**Note: Beaten to death by the The Deep, Black Noir II, Firecracker, Cate Dunlap, Sam Riordan and Tek Knight, on Homelander's orders, set up by Ashley Barrett, orchestrated by Sister Sage.
*'''Oh, yeah! The three of us... The three of us... Visit all those... those spots where... Tom... Tom Hanks...'''
**Who: Hugh Campbell Sr.
**Source: Season 4, Episode 5 &quot;Beware the Jabberwock, My Son&quot;
**Note: Euthanized by Hughie Campbell to stop the side-effects of Compound V.
*'''Look, I don't know anything else, okay?! That's all!'''
**Who: Tek Knight
**Source: Season 4, Episode 6 &quot;Dirty Business&quot;
**Note: Strangled by Elijah.
*'''It wasn't me. No, please!'''
**Who: Webweaver
**Source: Season 4, Episode 7 &quot;The Insider&quot;
**Note: Ripped in half by Homelander after being discovered by Firecracker as a spy of The Boys.
*'''I love you...'''
**Who: Ambrosius
**Source: Season 4, Episode 7 &quot;The Insider&quot;
**Note: Suffocated after her tank was broken by The Deep.
*'''You couldn't even blast yourself out, could you?'''
**Who: The Shapeshifter
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Strangled to death by Starlight to save Robert Singer and The Boys.
*'''N-No, I'm not, I swear...'''
**Who: Evan Lambert
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Face crushed with a punch by The Deep during a purge of Vought employees, on Homelander's orders.
*'''''I'm sorry.'''''
**Who: Grace Mallory
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Neck broken accidentally after being thrown into a wall by Ryan Butcher for trying to detain him.
*'''I will owe you many.'''
**Who: Victoria Neuman
**Source: Season 4, Episode 8 &quot;Season 4 Finale&quot;
**Note: Ripped in half by Billy Butcher (&quot;Joe Kessler&quot;) after attempting to ally with The Boys.
*'''I-It ain't gonna change nothing!'''
**Who: Sam Butcher
**Source: Season 5, Episode 1 &quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;
**Note: Killed by Billy Butcher and his body thrown into the River Thames offscreen.
*'''You’re just an empty fucking suit. Take away those powers…and what are you, huh? A pathetic, weak, sniveling fucking loser.'''
**Who: A-Train
**Source: Season 5, Episode 1 &quot;Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite&quot;
**Note: Neck broken by Homelander.
*'''No virus. Bitch, I will shoot hot cum in your face.'''
**Who: Rock Hard
**Source: Season 5, Episode 2 &quot;Teenage Kix&quot;
**Note: Spoken through text-to-speech program; Killed by the Supe Virus released by Frenchie.
*'''Bro! Do ''not'' nut right now.'''
**Who: Jetstreak
**Source: Season 5, Episode 2 &quot;Teenage Kix&quot;
**Note: Killed by the Supe Virus released by Frenchie.
*'''My ass hurts so fucking much.'''
**Who: Adam Bourke
**Source: Season 5, Episode 5 &quot;One-Shots&quot;
**Note: Disemboweled by an eel on the orders of The Deep
*'''I don't know, I haven't talked to him in, like, five years. I swear man, I swear to God. Please! Oh, my...&quot; Mr. Marathon'''
**Who: Mr. Marathon
**Source: Season 5, Episode 5 &quot;One-Shots&quot;
**Note: Said to Soldier Boy about Bombsight. 
*'''But I do believe in you. I love you! I am the only one here who ever has! I gave you everything! I gave you my soul! Everybody else here, they're just... They're just scared of you. Or they want something from you, but I have always loved you for you. Just the strongest, smartest, best man on Earth.''' ''('''Homelander''': &quot;Man?&quot;)'' '''No, no, no, no, no. A god. No. No, the God. My Lord, that look you used to get when you'd suckle me? I felt like Mother Mary herself. I felt blessed to nourish someone as important as you. [pause; Homelander sighs] But nothing I ever did was good enough, was it? You cast me out into the cold, which was so much worse than never feeling your warmth in the first place. So all I have been tryin' to do is to get you to see me the way that you used to. Hell, only reason I was with Soldier Boy was that your reflected light is better than no light at all. Please, sir. I love you. We all need love, don't we? Even God.'''
**Who: Firecracker
**Source: Season 5, Episode 5 &quot;One-Shots&quot;
**Note: Killed by Homelander, who impaled her head on the left wing of an eagle statue.
*'''We know, Kevin. We know it was you.'''
**Who: Jeremy
**Source: Season 5, Episode 6 &quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;
**Note: Killed along with 1.4 billion fish due to dydrocarbon intoxication following the Alaskan oil spill. Caused by Black Noir II by puncturing a drainpipe to frame the Deep.
*'''Sucks to suck, dipshit.''' ''(Soundboard: &quot;'''Stop. Loser. Br-Br-Bro.'''&quot;)'' '''So let's record this stupid fucking thing.'''
**Who: Black Noir II
**Source: Season 5, Episode 6 &quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;
**Note: After revealing he caused the pipeline genocide in Alaska, Black Noir II says this before the Deep kills him in a fit of rage by slicing his throat with his own dagger.
*'''Hey, some kid shit on the floor in the men's room again.'''
**Who: Tanner
**Source: Season 5, Episode 6 &quot;Though the Heavens Fall&quot;
**Note: Body lasered in half by Homelander.
*'''What the ''fuck'' is that?!'''
**Who: President Steven Calhoun
**Source: Season 5, Episode 7 &quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;
**Note: Horrified with Ashley Barrett's &quot;Bashley&quot; face before his head is crushed by Homelander for being a &quot;non-believer&quot;.
*'''Je t'aime, from the very start.'''
**Who: Serge / Frenchie
**Source: Season 5, Episode 7 &quot;The Frenchman, the Female, and the Man Called Mother's Milk&quot;
**Note: Said to Kimiko before succumbing to the effects of radiation poisoning.
*'''Right?'''
**Who: Gunter van Ellis
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: Suffocated after being flown into space by Homelander.
*'''Where's Butcher?'''
**Who: Oh Father
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie before attempting to blast him with his sonic scream, only for Mother's Milk to put a titanium mouth gag in his mouth, causing him to blow his head up with his own powers.
*'''I'm sorry! Oh, shit...'''
**Who: The Deep
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: After being blasted into the ocean by Starlight, the Deep is cornered by numerous sea animals who blame him for the the pipeline genocide and sought to avenge Ambrosius. As The Deep tries desperately swim back to shore, he is eventually trapped and killed by the tentacle of a squid, as his corpse soon falls back in the deep water.
*'''Madelyn, you promised me. It's not real. You can't fucking do this. You can't fucking do this! I am the Homelander!''' (''Billy: No, you ain't nothing. And this... this is for my Becca.'') '''No... nuh...'''
**Who: Homelander
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: After Kimiko (who was enhanced with enriched uranium to receive Soldier Boy's replicated nuclear depowering beam) renders him powerless, Homelander says this before Butcher impales his skull with a crowbar, and rips his brain apart, killing him.
*'''You really are... the spittin' of Lenny...'''
**Who: Billy Butcher
**Source: Season 5, Episode 8 &quot;Blood and Bone&quot;
**Note: Said to Hughie, who shot and killed him to stop him.

===''[[Gen V]]'' (2023-2025)===
*'''Most of you are, perfect specimens a super-abled excellence, but, if I'm being totally honest, you are the worst pre-call I have ever met, and you don't even go there sweetheart.''' ''('''Jordan Li''': &quot;You fucking asshole! I'm gonna kill you!&quot;)'' '''And the only thing worse than weakness... is treason, you have all betrayed your kind... There is no place for you here in this school, or in the world to come.'''
**Who: Dr. Thomas R. Godolkin
**Source: Season 2, Episode 8: &quot;Trojan&quot;
**Note: Said while possessing Marie, only to be incapacitated by Polarity, before his head is blown up by Marie; events are set up by Sister Sage.

===''[[The Boys Presents: Diabolical]]'' (2022)===
*'''Come on! Papa needs a new pair of SHOES!'''
**Who: The Great Wide Wonder
**Source: Episode 3: &quot;I'm Your Pusher&quot;
**Note: Poisoned by a chemical made by Frenchie and mixed with his heroin enema liquid, the Great Wide Wonder enters a drug induced excitement state. During a festive &quot;Hall of Fame&quot; event hosted by Homelander, the Great Wide Wonder uncontrollably flies right through Ironcast's stomach, gruesomely killing them both.

==External links==
{{The Boys}}
{{DISPLAYTITLE:Last words in ''The Boys'' media}}
[[Category:Fictional last words|Boys, The]]
[[Category:The Boys]]</text>
      <sha1>05ppw3leq6c80kfe4068hui85chmy3g</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>User:En-cor-Zenodoti/sandbox</title>
    <ns>2</ns>
    <id>307278</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944006</id>
      <parentid>3943841</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T18:20:56Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>En-cor-Zenodoti</username>
        <id>3308631</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944006</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="63196" sha1="mhprz45t19u99ro2vd0g9d5pqcyrlnt" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Heraclitus b 4 compressed.jpg|thumb|Everything flows.]]
'''[[w:Heraclitus|Heraclitus of Ephesus]]''' (Ἡράκλειτος, ''Herakleitos''; c. [[535 BC]] – [[475 BC]]) was a Greek philosopher, known for his doctrine of change being central to the universe, and for establishing the term [[Logos|Logos (λόγος)]] in Western philosophy as meaning both the source and fundamental order of the [[w:Cosmos|Cosmos]].

== Quotes ==

=== As quoted by Plato in ''Cratylus'' ===

[[File:Sanzio 01 Heraclitus (cropped).jpg|right|thumb|Nothing endures but [[change]].]]

* τὰ ὄντα ἰέναι τε πάντα καὶ μένειν οὐδέν
** '''All [[entities]] [[move]] and nothing remains still.'''
** As quoted by [[Plato]] in ''[[wikipedia:Cratylus (dialogue)|Cratylus]]'', 401d

* πάντα χωρεῖ καὶ οὐδὲν μένει
** '''Everything changes and nothing stands still.'''
** As quoted by [[Plato]] in ''[[wikipedia:Cratylus (dialogue)|Cratylus]]'', 402a
** Variants and variant translations: &lt;br&gt; '''Everything flows and nothing stays.''' &lt;br&gt; Everything flows and nothing abides. &lt;br&gt; Everything gives way and nothing stays fixed. &lt;br&gt; Everything flows; nothing remains. &lt;br&gt; All is flux, nothing is stationary. &lt;br&gt; All is flux, nothing stays still. &lt;br&gt; All flows, nothing stays.
** [[w:Panta rhei (Heraclitus)|Πάντα ῥεῖ]]
*** '''Everything flows.'''
**** This statement occurs in [[w:Simplicius of Cilicia|Simplicius]]' ''Commentary on [[Aristotle]]'s [[w:Physics (Aristotle)|Physics]]'', 1313.11; while some sources attribute to Simplicius the coining of the specific phrase &quot;πάντα ῥεῖ (panta rhei)&quot;, meaning &quot;everything flows/is in a state of flux&quot;, to characterize the concept in the philosophy of Heraclitus, the essential phrasing &quot;everything changes&quot; and variations on it, in contexts where Heraclitus's thought is being alluded to, was current in both [[Plato]] and [[Aristotle]]'s writings.

[[File:Into_the_Narrows.jpg|right|thumb|You could not step twice into the same [[river]]; for other [[waters]] are ever flowing on to you.]]

* δὶς ἐς τὸν αὐτὸν ποταμὸν οὐκ ἂν ἐμβαίης.
** '''You could not step twice into the same river.'''
** As quoted in Plato, ''Cratylus'', 402a

=== As quoted by others ===

* Τίς γὰρ αὐτῶν νόος ἢ φρήν; [δήμων] ἀοιδοῖσι ἕπονται καὶ διδασκάλῳ χρέωνται ὁμίλῳ, οὐκ εἰδότες ὅτι πολλοὶ κακοὶ ὀλίγοι δὲ ἀγαθοί. αἱρεῦνται γὰρ ἓν ἀντία πάντων οἱ ἄριστοι, κλέος ἀέναον θνητῶν, οἱ δὲ πολλοὶ κεκόρηνται ὅκωσπερ κτήνεα.
*# The best people renounce all for one goal, the eternal fame of mortals; but most people stuff themselves like cattle.
*# For what sense or understanding have they? They follow minstrels and take the multitude for a teacher, not knowing that many are bad and few good. For the best men choose one thing above all – immortal glory among mortals; but the masses stuff themselves like cattle. ([http://www.classicpersuasion.org/pw/heraclitus/herpatu.htm G.T.W. Patrick, 1889])
*#: &quot;The passage is restored as above by Bernays (''Heraclitea i.'' p. 34), and Bywater (p. 43), from the following sources:
*#:* [[Clement of Alexandria|Clement of Alex.]] ''Strom. v. 9,'' p. 682.
*#:* [[Proclus]] in ''Alcib.'' p. 255 Creuzer, = 525 ed. ''Cous. ii.''
*#:* [[Clement of Alexandria|Clement of Alex.]] ''Strom. iv.'' 7, p. 586.&quot;

* Ten thousand do not turn the scale against a single man of worth.
** in [[Eric Hoffer]], ''Between the Devil and the Dragon'' (New York: 1982), p. 107

* The many are mean; only the few are noble.
** in [[Eric Hoffer]], ''Between the Devil and the Dragon'' (New York: 1982), p. 108

=== Numbered fragments ===
:&lt;small&gt;Greek text cited from A. Laks, G. W. Most, ''Early Greek Philosophy, vol. 3 Early Ionian Thinkers, Part 2'' (Cambridge-London, 2016).&lt;br&gt;Fragments numbered according to H. Diels, W. Kranz, ''Die Fragmente der Vorsokratiker'' (Hildesheim, &lt;sup&gt;6&lt;/sup&gt;1952).&lt;/small&gt;

* τοῦ λόγου δ᾿ ἐόντος ξυνοῦ ζώουσιν οἱ πολλοὶ ὡς ἰδίαν ἔχοντες φρόνησιν.
** Though [[wisdom]] is common, yet the many live as if they had a wisdom of their own.
** B 2 DK = D 2 Laks-Most
*** Alternative translation:
*** So we must follow the common, yet the many live as if they had a wisdom of their own.

* τὸ ἀντίξουν συμφέρον καὶ ἐκ τῶν διαφερόντων καλλίστην ἁρμονίαν.
** Opposition brings concord. Out of discord comes the fairest harmony.
** B 8 DK = D 62 Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/heraclitus00whee/page/90/mode/2up P. Wheelwright, 1959])

* συνάψιες ὅλα καὶ οὐχ ὅλα, συμφερόμενον καὶ διαφερόμενον, συνᾷδον διᾷδον, καὶ ἐκ πάντων ἓν καὶ ἐξ ἑνὸς πάντα.
** Couples are wholes and not wholes, what agrees disagrees, the concordant is discordant. From all things one and from one all things.
** B 10 DK = D 47 Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/bwb_W8-AAA-035/page/488/mode/2up W. H. S. Jones, 1931])
** Alternative translation: From out of all the many [[particulars]] comes oneness, and out of oneness come all the many particulars.

* ποταμοῖσι τοῖσιν αὐτοῖσιν ἐμβαίνουσιν ἕτερα καὶ ἕτερα ὕδατα ἐπιρρεῖ.
** Upon those who are stepping into the same rivers different and again different waters flow.
** B 12 DK = D 65b Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/heraclitus0000hera/page/206/mode/2up M. Marcovich, 1967])

[[File:Utrecht Moreelse Heraclite.JPG|thumb|right|The majority of people have no understanding of the things with which they daily meet, nor, when instructed, do they have any right knowledge of them, although to themselves they seem to have.]]

* οὐ γὰρ φρονέουσι τοιαῦτα πολλοὶ, ὁκόσοι ἐγκυρεῦσιν, οὐδὲ μαθόντες γινώσκουσιν, ἑωυτοῖσι δὲ δοκέουσι.
** The majority of people have no understanding of the things with which they daily meet, nor, when instructed, do they have any right knowledge of them, although to themselves they seem to have.
** B 17 DK = D 3 Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/fragmentsofworko00hera/page/84/mode/2up G. W. T. Patrick, 1889])

* ἐὰν μὴ ἔλπηται ἀνέλπιστον οὐκ ἐξευρήσει, ἀνεξερεύνητον ἐὸν καὶ ἄπορον.
** He who does not expect will not find out the unexpected, for it is trackless and unexplored.
** B 18 DK = D 37 Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/artthoughtofhera0000kahn/page/31/mode/2up C. H. Kahn, 1981])
*** Alternative translation ([https://www.loebclassics.com/view/heraclitus-doctrine/2016/pb_LCL526.157.xml A. Laks, G. W. Most, 2016]):
*** If one does not expect the unexpected one will not find it, for it cannot be searched out nor arrived at.

* μόροι γὰρ μέζονες μέζονας μοίρας λαγχάνουσι.
** Greater fates gain greater rewards.
** B 25 DK = D 122b Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/fragmentsofworko00hera/page/108/mode/2up G. T. W. Patrick, 1889]

[[File:Louvre Br 4634 Bronze lamp.jpg|right|thumb|Man, like a [[light]] in the [[night]], is kindled and put out.]]

* ἄνθρωπος ἐν εὐφρόνῃ φάος ἅπτεται ἑαυτῷ [ἀποθανών], ἀποσβεσθεὶς ὄψεις· ζῶν δὲ ἅπτεται τεθνεῶτος εὕδων· ἐγρηγορὼς ἅπτεται εὕδοντος.
** A human being, in the night, lights a lamp for himself, his eyes extinguished; living, he touches on a dead man when sleeping; when awake, he touches on a sleeping man.
** B 26 DK = D 71 Laks-Most

* κόσμον τόνδε, τὸν αὐτὸν ἁπάντων, οὔτε τις θεῶν οὔτε ἀνθρώπων ἐποίησεν, ἀλλ᾿ ἦν ἀεὶ καὶ ἔστιν καὶ ἔσται, πῦρ ἀείζωον, ἁπτόμενον μέτρα καὶ ἀποσβεννύμενον μέτρα.
** This universe, which is the same for all, has not been made by any god or man, but it always has been, is, and will be an ever-living fire, kindling itself by regular measures and going out by regular measures.
** B 30 DK = D 85 Laks-Most
** Variant translations: &lt;br&gt; The world, an entity out of everything, was created by neither gods nor men, but was, is and will be eternally living fire, regularly becoming ignited and regularly becoming extinguished. &lt;br&gt; This world . . . ever was, and is, and shall be, ever-living Fire, in measures being kindled and in measure going out.
** That which always was,&lt;br&gt;and is, and will be everlasting fire,&lt;br&gt;the same for all, the cosmos,&lt;br&gt;made neither by god nor man,&lt;br&gt;replenishes in measure&lt;br&gt;as it burns away.
*** Translated by Brooks Haxton

* ἓν τὸ σοφόν, μοῦνον λέγεσθαι οὐκ ἐθέλει καὶ ἐθέλει Ζηνὸς ὄνομα.
** The wise is one only. It is unwilling and willing to be called by the name of [[Zeus]].
** B 32 DK = D 45 Laks-Most

* χρὴ γὰρ εὖ μάλα πολλῶν ἵστορας φιλοσόφους ἄνδρας εἶναι.
** Men that love wisdom must be acquainted with very many things indeed.
** B 35 DK = D 40 Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/earlygreekphilos0000burn/page/136/mode/2up J. Burnet, 1930])

* πολυμαθίη νόον οὐ διδάσκει.
** Much learning does not teach understanding.
** B 40 DK = D 20 Laks-Most

* μάχεσθαι χρὴ τὸν δῆμον ὑπὲρ τοῦ νόμου ὅκωσπερ τείχεος.
** The people must fight for its [[law]] as for its walls.
** B 44 DK = D 106 Laks-Most

* εἷς ἐμοὶ μύριοι, ἐὰν ἄριστος ᾖ.
** One is ten thousand to me, if he be the best.
** B 49 DK = D 12 Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/earlygreekphilos0000burn/page/140/mode/2up J. Burnet, 1930])

* ποταμοῖς τοῖς αὐτοῖς ἐμβαίνομέν τε καὶ οὐκ ἐμβαίνομεν, εἶμέν τε καὶ οὐκ εἶμεν.
** We step and do not step into the same rivers; we are and are not.
** B 49a DK = D 65a Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/earlygreekphilos0000burn/page/138/mode/2up J. Burnet, 1930])

* οὐκ ἐμοῦ ἀλλὰ τοῦ λόγου ἀκούσαντας ὁμολογεῖν σοφόν ἐστιν ἓν πάντα εἶναι.
** It is wise to listen, not to me but to the Word, and to confess that all things are one.
** B 50 DK = D 46 Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/bwb_W8-AAA-035/page/470/mode/2up W. H. S. Jones, 1931])
** Variant translations: &lt;br&gt; Listening not to me but to reason, it is wise to agree that all is one. &lt;br&gt; Listening not to me but to the Word it is wise to agree that all things are one. &lt;br&gt;'''He who hears not me but the ''logos'' will say: All is one.'''&lt;br&gt;It is wise to hearken, not to me, but to my Word, and to confess that all things are one.

* αἰὼν παῖς ἐστι παίζων, πεσσεύων· παιδὸς ἡ βασιληίη.
** A lifetime is a child playing, playing checkers: the kingship belongs to a child.
** B 52 DK = D 76 Laks-Most (tr. [https://www.loebclassics.com/view/heraclitus-doctrine/2016/pb_LCL526.175.xml A. Laks, G. W. Most, 2016])

* πόλεμος πάντων μὲν πατήρ ἐστι, πάντων δὲ βασιλεύς, καὶ τοὺς μὲν θεοὺς ἔδειξε τοὺς δὲ ἀνθρώπους, τοὺς μὲν δούλους ἐποίησε τοὺς δὲ ἐλευθέρους.
** War is the father and king of all, and has produced some as gods and some as men, and has made some slaves and some free.
** B 53 DK = D 64 Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/fragmentsofworko00hera/page/94/mode/2up G. T. W. Patrick, 1889])
*** Alternative translation:
*** War is the father and king of all: some he has made gods, and some men; some slaves and some free.

* ὁδὸς ἄνω κάτω μία καὶ ὡυτή.
** The road up and the road down is one and the same.
** B 60 DK = D 51 Laks-Most
** Variant translations: &lt;br&gt; The road up and the road down are one and the same. &lt;br&gt; The road uphill and the road downhill are one and the same. &lt;br&gt; The way up and the way down are one and the same.
&lt;!-- * τὴν μεταβολὴν ὁδὸν ἄνω κάτω, τόν τε κόσμον γίνεσθαι κατ' αὐτήν.
** Change he called a pathway up and down, and this determines the birth of the world.
** From ''Lives and Opinions of Eminent Philosophers'' by Diogenes Laërtius, Book IX, section 8 --&gt;

* ὁ θεὸς ἡμέρη εὐφρόνη, χειμὼν θέρος, πόλεμος εἰρήνη, κόρος λιμός.
** God is day and night, winter and summer, war and peace, surfeit and hunger.
** B 67 DK = D 48 Laks-Most

* ᾧ μάλιστα διηνεκῶς ὁμιλοῦσι, λόγῳ τῷ τὰ ὅλα διοικοῦντι, τούτῳ διαφέρονται.
** Men are at variance with the one thing with which they are in the most unbroken communion, the reason that administers the whole universe.
** B 72 DK = R 54 Laks-Most

* θυμῷ μάχεσθαι χαλεπόν· ὃ γὰρ θέλῃ, ψυχῆς ὠνεῖται.
** It is hard to fight with one's heart's desire. Whatever it wishes to get, it purchases at the cost of soul.
** B 85 DK = D 116 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/earlygreekphilos0000burn/page/140/mode/2up J. Burnet, 1930]
*** Paraphrased by Aristotle, ''[[Nicomachean Ethics]]'', Book II (1105a) (tr. [https://archive.org/details/firstphilosopher00fair/page/58/mode/2up A. Fairbanks, 1898]):
*** It is harder to fight against pleasure than against anger.

* ταὐτό γ᾿ ἔνι ζῶν καὶ τεθνηκὸς καὶ τὸ ἐγρηγορὸς καὶ καθεῦδον καὶ νέον καὶ γηραιόν.
** And it is the same thing in us that is quick and dead, awake and asleep, young and old.
** B 88 DK = D 68 Laks-Most

* τοῖς ἐγρηγορόσιν ἕνα καὶ κοινὸν κόσμον εἶναι, τῶν δὲ κοιμωμένων ἕκαστον εἰς ἴδιον ἀποστρέφεσθαι.
** The waking have one world in common; sleepers have each a private world of his own.
** B 89 DK = R 56 Laks-Most
&lt;!-- * ποταμῷ γὰρ οὐκ ἔστιν ἐμβῆναι δὶς τῷ αὐτῷ
** You cannot step twice into the same river.
** B 91 DK
** Plutarch, ''On the EI at Delphi'' // Not in Laks-Most; derived from D 65a, b, c Laks-Most --&gt;

* νέκυες κοπρίων ἐκβλητότεροι.
** Corpses are more fit to be cast out than dung.
** B 96 DK = D 119 Laks-Most

[[File:Dog-Mosaic.jpg|thumb|Dogs, also, bark at what they do not know.]]

* κύνες γὰρ καταβαύζουσιν ὧν ἂν μὴ γινώσκωσι.
** Dogs, also, bark at what they do not know.
** B 97 DK = D 9 Laks-Most

* ἀμαθίην ἄμεινον κρύπτειν.
** It is better to conceal ignorance than to expose it.
** B 95 DK = D 113 Laks-Most

* ἐδιζησάμην ἐμεωυτόν.
** I have sought for myself. 
** B 101 DK = D 36 Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/earlygreekphilos0000burn/page/138/mode/2up J. Burnet, 1930])

* τίς αὐτῶν νόος ἢ φρήν; δήμων ἀοιδοῖσι πείθονται καὶ διδασκάλῳ χρείωνται ὁμίλῳ οὐκ εἰδότες ὅτι οἱ πολλοὶ κακοί, ὀλίγοι δὲ ἀγαθοί.
** For what sense or understanding have they? They follow minstrels and take the multitude for a teacher, not knowing that many are bad and few good. &lt;!-- For the best men choose one thing above all—immortal glory among mortals; but the masses stuff themselves like cattle. // Not considered part of the fragment by Diels-Kranz and Laks-Most --&gt;
** B 104 DK = D 10 Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/fragmentsworkhe00heragoog/page/110/mode/2up G. W. T. Patrick, 1889])

* ἀνθρώποις γίνεσθαι ὁκόσα θέλουσιν οὐκ ἄμεινον.
** It would not be better if things happened to people just as they wish.
** B 110 DK = D 117 Laks-Most

* ξὺν νόῳ λέγοντας ἰσχυρίζεσθαι χρὴ τῷ ξυνῷ πάντων, ὅκωσπερ νόμῳ πόλις καὶ πολὺ ἰσχυροτέρως. τρέφονται γὰρ πάντες οἱ ἀνθρώπειοι νόμοι ὑπὸ ἑνὸς τοῦ θείου· κρατεῖ γὰρ τοσοῦτον ὁκόσον ἐθέλει καὶ ἐξαρκεῖ πᾶσι καὶ περιγίνεται.
** Speaking with sense we must fortify ourselves in the common sense of all, as a city is fortified by its law, and even more forcefully. For all human laws are nourished by the one [[divine]] law. For [[rule of law|it prevails as far as it will]] and suffices for all and is superabundant.
** B 114 DK = D 105 Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/isbn_9780521737630/page/n3/mode/2up D. W. Graham, 2010])

* ἀνθρώποισι πᾶσι μέτεστι γινώσκειν ἑωυτοὺς καὶ σωφρονεῖν.
** It pertains to all men to know themselves and to learn self-control.
** B 116 DK = D 30 Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/fragmentsworkhe00heragoog/page/108/mode/2up G. T. W. Patrick, 1889])
*:&lt;small&gt;Compare: {{w|Know thyself}}; [[Geoffrey Chaucer]], ''[[The Monk's Tale]]'', l. 149; [[Shakespeare]], ''[[The Merchant of Venice]]'', act I, sc. i, l. 7&lt;/small&gt;

* ἦθος ἀνθρώπῳ δαίμων.
** [[Character]] is destiny.
** B 119 DK = D 111 Laks-Most
** Alternative translations: &lt;br&gt; Character is fate. &lt;br&gt; Man's character is his fate. &lt;br&gt; A man's character is his fate. &lt;br&gt; A man's character is his guardian divinity.&lt;br&gt;One's bearing shapes one's fate.

* φύσις κρύπτεσθαι φιλεῖ.
** Nature is [[wiktionary:wont#Adjective|wont]] to hide herself.
** B 123 DK = D 35 Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/bwb_W8-AAA-035/page/472/mode/2up W. H. S. Jones, 1931])

== Attributed ==

* φασὶ δὲ αὐτὸν ἐρωτηθέντα διὰ τί σιωπᾷ, φάναι &quot;ἵν᾿ ὑμεῖς λαλῆτε.&quot;
** They say that when he was asked why he kept silent, he said, &quot;So that you can chatter.&quot;
** A 1 DK = P 14 Laks-Most (tr. [https://www.loebclassics.com/view/heraclitus-person/2016/pb_LCL526.131.xml A. Laks, G. W. Most, 2016])

* καθάπερ Ἡράκλειτος λέγεται πρὸς τοὺς ξένους εἰπεῖν τοὺς βουλομένους ἐντυχεῖν αὐτῷ, οἳ ἐπειδὴ προσιόντες εἶδον αὐτὸν θερόμενον πρὸς τῷ ἰπνῷ, ἔστησαν (ἐκέλευε γὰρ αὐτοὺς εἰσιέναι θαρροῦντας· εἶναι γὰρ καὶ ἐνταῦθα θεούς).
** Just as what Heraclitus is reported to have said to strangers who wanted to meet him—they were approaching him, but they stopped when they saw that he was warming himself by the oven; but he told them not to hesitate but to enter, saying to them, &quot;For there are gods here too.&quot;
** A 9 DK = P 15 Laks-Most (tr. [https://www.loebclassics.com/view/heraclitus-person/2016/pb_LCL526.131.xml A. Laks, G. W. Most, 2016])

{{Misattributed begin}}
== Misattributed ==

* Of Every One-Hundred Men, Ten shouldn't even be there, Eighty are nothing but targets, Nine are real fighters... We are lucky to have them... They make the battle. Ah but the One, One of them is a Warrior... and He will bring the others back.
** Attributed to &quot;Hericletus c. 500 B.C.&quot; [sic] in [https://books.google.com/books?id=xO7XAAAAMAAJ&amp;dq=%22They+make+the+battle.+Ah+but+the+One%2C+One+of+them+is+a+Warrior%22&amp;focus=searchwithinvolume&amp;q=%22He+will+bring+the+others+back%22 ''The Tactical Rifle''] (1999) by Gabriel Suarez; no earlier source has been found. &lt;!-- A [http://www.armedpolitesociety.com/index.php?topic=935.0 blog poster] claimed that Gabriel Suarez told them that he got the quote from [https://www.amazon.com/Warriors-Words-Quotation-Sesostris-Schwarzkopf/dp/1854090887 Warrior's Words: A Quotation Book compiled by Peter Tsouras.] I was unable to find the quote in the book. —unsigned comment by {{user|152.42.186.189}} --&gt;

{{Misattributed end}}

== Quotes about Heraclitus ==

*It was not [[Zeno of Citium|Zeno]], the founder of the [[Stoics]], alone, who taught that the Universe evolves, and its primary substance is transformed from the state of fire into that of air, then into that of water, etc. Heraclitus of Ephesus maintained that the one principle that underlies all phenomena in Nature is fire. The intelligence that moves the Universe is fire, and fire is intelligence. And while [[Anaximenes of Miletus|Anaximenes]] said the same of air, and [[Thales of Miletus]] (600 years b.c.) of water, the Esoteric Doctrine reconciles all these philosophers, by showing that though each was right, the system of none was complete.
** [[H.P. Blavatsky]], ''The Secret Doctrine'', Vol. 1 of 4 (1888)

* In... Heraclitus... [[w:Process philosophy|Becoming]] occupies the foremost place. He regarded that which moves, the [[fire]], as the basic element. The difficulty, to reconcile the... one fundamental principle with the [[Infinity|infinite]] variety of phenomena, is solved... by recognizing... strife of... opposites is... a kind of [[harmony]]. ...[T]he world is ...one and many ...&quot;the opposite tension&quot; of ...opposites ...constitutes the [[unity]] of [[1 (number)|the One]]. He says: &quot;...[[war]] is common to all and strife is [[justice]] ...all things come into being and pass away through strife.&quot; ...[T]hat infinite and [[Eternity|eternal]] undifferentiated [[Being]] ...cannot ...explain the infinite variety of things. This leads to the [[wikt:antithesis#Noun|antithesis]] of Being and Becoming and ...to the solution of Heraclitus ...[[change]] ...is the fundamental principle; the &quot;imperishable change, that [[wikt:renovate#Verb|renovate]]s the world,&quot; as the poets have called it. But ...change ...is not a material cause and therefore is represented ...by the fire ...both matter and a moving force. ...[[Physics|[P]hysics]] is ...extremely near to ...Heraclitus ...[i]f we replace ...&quot;fire&quot; by ...&quot;[[energy]]&quot; ...Energy is a substance, since its total ...does not change, and ...[[elementary particle]]s can ...be made from this ...Energy may be called the fundamental cause for all change in the world. ...Energy is ...that which moves; it may be called the primary cause of all change, and ...can be transformed into [[matter]] or [[Thermodynamics|heat]] or [[light]]. The strife between opposites in the philosophy of Heraclitus can be found in the strife between two different forms of energy.
** [[Werner Heisenberg]], ''Physics and Philosophy'' (1958) [https://archive.org/details/physicsphilosoph0000heis_n9m9/page/62/mode/1up?view=theater pp. 62-71.]

* [With Heraclitus] we see land; there is no proposition of Heraclitus which I have not adopted in my Logic.
** [[Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel]], ''Lectures on the History of Philosophy'' (1892), trans. E. S. Haldane, p. 279

* I walked on to the next corner, sat on a bench at a bus stop, and read in my new book about Heraclitus. All things flow like a river, he said; nothing abides. [[Parmenides]], on the other hand, believed that nothing ever changed, it only seemed so. Both views appealed to me.
** [[w:Ross Macdonald|Ross Macdonald]], ''The Chill'' (1963), Vintage Crime/Black Lizard edition, pp. 209-210.

* In other countries, too, the idea of a creation was sternly rejected, as, for instance, by Heraclitus, who declares that no god and no man made this world, but that it was always and is and will be, an eternal fire, assuming forms and destroying them. And this protest, it should be remembered, came from a man who was able to say with equal honesty that 'God is day and night, winter and summer, war and peace, satiety and hunger—and that he is called according to the pleasure of every one.'
** [[Max Müller]], ''Natural Religion'' (1892) [https://books.google.com/books?id=bJQ7AAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA253 p. 253.]

* Herakleitos, about 460 B.C., one of the boldest thinkers of ancient Greece, declared that [[Homer]] deserved to be ejected from public assemblies and flogged...
** [[Max Müller]], ''Introduction to the Science of Religion'' (1873) [https://books.google.com/books?id=Jgq261TVeMsC&amp;pg=PA343 p. 343.]

* If the flow is steady, the [[w:Vector field|field velocity vectors]] and the system of [[w:Streamlines, streaklines, and pathlines|streamlines]] remain unaffected by the progress of time. Looking at the vector field and its streamlines we do not notice any change. Yet if we could distinguish the different particles of fluid from each other, we could observe incessant change...&lt;br /&gt;We have here two aspects of a [[w:Fluid dynamics#Steady vs unsteady_flow|steady flow]], one of unchanging persistence, the other of incessant change. ...Heraclitus was called '''the &quot;Dark Philosopher&quot;'''; his views of human affairs were sombre and his sayings obscure. ...&lt;br /&gt;&quot;You cannot look twice at the same river; for fresh waters are ever flowing in.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;We look and do not look at the same rivers; we are, and we are not.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;What is the intended meaning of these sentences? I do not venture to find out. Yet I think that the originator of these senteces '''came pretty close to formulating the concept &quot;steady flow of a fluid.&quot;'''
** [[George Pólya]], ''Mathematical Methods in Science'' (1977)&lt;!--p.232--&gt;

* When... Heraclitus names the world an ever-living fire that... extinguishes itself and again kindles itself, when... all is exchanged for fire and fire for all... he can only understand by this that fire, this restless, all-consuming, all-transmuting, and equally (in heat) all-vivifying element, represents the constant force of this eternal alteration and transformation, the notion of life, in the most vivid and energetic manner. ...the means of which the power of motion that is precedent to all matter avails itself for the production of the living process of things. Heraclitus... explains the multiplicity of things... [fire] condenses itself into material elements, first air, then water, then earth. ...These two processes of extinction and ignition... alternate... in perpetual rotation with each other and... in stated periods the world resolves itself into the primal fire, in order to re-create itself out of it again. ...[F]ire is to him... the principle of movement, of physical as of spiritual vitality; the soul itself is a fiery vapour; its power and perfection depend on its being pure from all grosser and duller elements.
** {{w|Albert Schwegler}}, ''Handbook of the History of Philosophy'' (1868) [https://books.google.com/books?id=-KIZAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA21 pp. 21-22.]

* '''The part I understand is excellent, and so too is, I dare say, the part I do not understand'''; but it needs a Delian diver to get to the bottom of it.
** [[Socrates]], when asked his opinion of Heraclitus's treatise, as quoted in [[Diogenes Laërtius]]'s ''Lives of Eminent Philosophers'' (ed. R. D. Hicks), Book II, Ch. 5, sec. 22.

* '''I cannot approve of Heraclitus''', who, being self-taught and arrogant, said, &quot;I have explored myself.&quot; Nor can I praise him for hiding his poem in the temple of Artemis, in order that it might be published afterwards as a mystery; and those who take an interest in such things say that Euripides the tragic poet came there and read it, and, gradually learning it by heart, carefully handed down to posterity this darkness of Heraclitus.
** [[Tatian]], Address to the Greek P. 7 Pratten translation

* If neither sub-atomic particles nor organic species exemplify the 'permanent entities' of [[w:Ancient Greek philosophy|Greek metaphysics]], what else in the real world does so? ...Two hundred years of historical research have had their effect. Whether we turn to social or intellectual history, evolutionary zoology, historical geology or astronomy—whether we consider explanatory theories or star-clusters, societies or cultures, languages or disciplines, organic species or the Earth itself—the verdict is not [[Parmenides|Parmenidean]] but Heraclitean. As we now understand it, nothing in the empirical world possesses the permanent unchanging identity which all Greek natural philosophers (the [[w:Epicureanism|Epicureans]] apart) presupposed in the ultimate elements of Nature. So, if we... are to entertain metaphysical thoughts about the nature of things-in-general consistent with the rest of our late-twentieth-century ideas, we must explore the consequences of the modern, [[w:Modern synthesis (20th century)|post-Darwinian]] or [[w:Population genetics|'populational' approach]], as applied not just to species, but to historical entities of all kinds. Confronted with the question, 'How do ''permanent'' entities preserve their identity through all their ''apparent'' changes?', we must simply deny the validity of the question itself. In its place, we must substitute the question, 'How do ''historical'' entities maintain their coherence and continuity, despite all the ''real'' changes they undergo?'&lt;!--pp. 355-356--&gt;
** {{w|Stephen Toulmin}}, ''Human Understanding'' (1972) Vol. 1 ''The Collective Use and Evolution of Concepts''.

=== ''Early Greek Philosophy'' (1908) ===
:&lt;small&gt;by [[w:John Burnet (classicist)|John Burnet]] Quotes are from 2nd edition, Ch. III. Herakleitos of Ephesos [https://archive.org/details/burnetgreek00burnrich/page/143/mode/1up?view=theater pp. 143-191.]&lt;/small&gt;

* '''[L]ikely he was not a disciple of any one'''; but... he was acquainted both with the [[w:Miletus|Milesian]] [[cosmology]] and with the poems of [[Xenophanes]]. He... knew something of the theories taught by [[Pythagoras]] (fr. 17).&lt;!--p. 144--&gt;

* [P]erhaps... he belonged to the ancient royal house and resigned the nominal position of {{w|Basileus}} in favour of his brother.&lt;!--p. 144--&gt;
** &lt;small&gt;'''Footnote''': Diog. ix. 6 (R. P. 31).&lt;/small&gt;

* We do not know the title of the work of Herakleitos... We are told that it was divided into three discourses: one dealing with the [[universe]], one [[Politics|political]], and one [[Theology|theological]].  It is not likely that this division is due to Herakleitos... The style... is... obscure, and... later... got him the nickname... &quot;the Dark.&quot;&lt;!--pp. 144-145--&gt;

* [F]ragments about the [[w:Delphi|Delphic]] god and the [[Sibylline Oracles|Sibyl]] (frs. 11 and 12) seem to show...  an [[Oracle|oracular]] style... [I]t was the manner of the time. '''The stirring events of the age, and... religious revival, gave... a prophetic tone to all the leaders of thought.''' [[Pindar]] and [[Aeschylus|Aischylos]] have it too. They all feel... inspired. '''It is also the age of... [[individuality|individualities]]... apt to be solitary and [[wikt:disdainful#Adjective|disdainful]].'''  Herakleitos... [writes] If men cared to dig for the gold they might find it (fr. 8); if not, they must be content with straw (fr. 51).&lt;!--p. 145--&gt;

* [[Theophrastus|Theophrastos]]... said... the headstrong temperament of Herakleitos sometimes led him into incompleteness and inconsistencies of statement. ...[A] very different thing from studied [[obscurity]] and the ''disciplina arcana'' sometimes attributed to him; '''if Herakleitos does not go out of his way to make his meaning clear, neither does he hide it''' (fr. 11).&lt;!--p. 145--&gt;

* [S]ome... fragments are far from clear, and there are probably not a few of which the meaning will never be recovered. ...[T]he [[w:Doxography|doxographers]]... are far less instructive with... Herakleitos... [T]he two accounts of... Herakleitos... in [[Diogenes Laërtius|Diogenes]], which goes back to the ''[[w:Aetius (philosopher)|Vetusta Placita]]''... is... pretty full and accurate. All our other sources are... tainted.&lt;!--pp. 156-157--&gt;

*  Most... [[wikt:commentator#English:_text_expositor|commentator]]s on Herakleitos... in [[Diogenes Laërtius|Diogenes]] were [[Stoicism|Stoics]], and... their paraphrases were sometimes taken for the original. ...'''Stoics ...sought to interpret him ...in accordance with their ...system. ...[T]hey were fond of &quot;accommodating&quot;... views... to their own'''...&lt;!--p. 157--&gt;

*  '''Herakleitos looks down not only on the mass of men, but on all previous inquirers into [[nature]].'''&lt;!--p. 157--&gt;

* '''[H]e believed himself to have attained insight into... truth... not hitherto... recognised, though... staring men in the face''' (fr. 93). ...[W]e must ...find out what he was thinking ...when he launched into ...denunciations of human dulness and ignorance. '''The answer'''... in ...fragments, 18 and 45 ... '''the many apparently independent and conflicting things we know are really [[1 (number)|one]], and ...this one is also many. The &quot;strife of opposites&quot; is really an &quot;attunement&quot; ...[[Wisdom|[W]isdom]] is not a [[knowledge]] of many things, but the [[perception]] of the underlying unity of the warring opposites.'''&lt;!--p. 158--&gt;

*  '''[[Philo]]... says''': &quot;For that which is made up of both the opposites is one; and, when the one is divided, the opposites are disclosed. Is not this... what the [[Ancient Greece|Greeks]] say their great and much belauded Herakleitos put in the forefront of his [[philosophy]] as summing it all up, and boasted of as a new discovery?&quot;&lt;!--p. 158--&gt;

* '''[[Anaximander]] had taught... the opposites were separated... from the [[w:Apeiron|Boundless]], but passed away into it once more... paying the [[wikt:penalty#Noun|penalty]] for... [[Injustice|unjust]] [[wikt:encroachment#Noun|encroachment]]s on one another. It is... implied... there is something [[Wrongs|wrong]] in the war of opposites, and... existence of the Many is a [[wikt:breach#English:_solid_gap|breach]] in the [[unity]] of the [[1 (number)|One]]. ...Herakleitos proclaimed ...there is no One without the Many, and no Many without the One. The world is at once one and many, and ...the &quot;opposite tension&quot; of the Many ...constitutes the unity of the One.'''&lt;!--pp. 158-159--&gt;

*  '''[In] [[Plato]].., the ''[[Plato#Sophist|Sophist]]''''' (242 d), the Eleatic stranger, after explaining how the {{w|Eleatics}} maintained that what we call many is really one, proceeds:—&lt;br /&gt;But certain [[w:Ionian school (philosophy)|Ionian]] and (at a later date) certain [[w:History of Sicily#Classical Age|Sicilian]] [[Muses]] remarked that it was safest to unite these two things, and to say that reality is both many and one, and is kept together by [[Hatred|Hate]] and [[Love]]. &quot;For,&quot; say the more severe Muses, &quot;in its division it is always being brought together&quot; (cf. fr. 59); while the softer Muses relaxed the requirement that this should always be so, and said that [[the All]] was alternately one and at peace through the power of [[Aphrodite]], and many and at [[war]] with itself because of something they called [[Strife]].&lt;br /&gt;...'''the Ionian Muses stand ...for Herakleitos, and the Sicilian for [[Empedocles|Empedokles]]'''.&lt;!--p. 159--&gt;

* '''[T]he [[wikt:differentiation#English:_dividing_into_components|differentiation]] of the one into many, and the [[wikt:integration#English:_making_whole|integration]] of the many into one, are both [[Eternity|eternal]] and [[w:Relativity of simultaneity|simultaneous]], and... this is the ground upon which... Herakleitos is contrasted with... [[Empedocles|Empedokles]].''' ...[A]ccording to [[Plato]], Herakleitos taught that reality was at once many and one.&lt;!--p. 159--&gt;

* '''We must be careful... not to imagine that Herakleitos thus discovered... a logical principle'''.  The identity in and through difference... was purely physical; '''[[logic]] did not yet exist, and... the [[Law of Identity|principle of identity]] had not been formulated''', it would have been impossible to protest against an abstract application of it.&lt;!--pp. 159-160--&gt;

* The identity ...as consisting in difference is simply that of the [[w:Ousia|primary substance]] in all its manifestations.&lt;!--p. 160--&gt;

* This identity had been realised... by the [[w:Miletus|Milesians]], but they... found a difficulty in the difference. '''[[Anaximander]] had treated the [[strife]] of opposites as an &quot;[[injustice]],&quot; and... Herakleitos set himself to show... it was the highest [[justice]]''' (fr, 62).&lt;!--p. 160--&gt;

* '''[T]his made it necessary for him to seek... a new [[w:First principle#Ancient Greek philosophy|primary substance]]'''... not merely... out of which the diversified world... might... be made, or from which opposites could be &quot;separated out,&quot; but... '''which of its own nature would pass into everything else, while everything else would pass in turn into it. This he found in [[Fire]]'''...&lt;!--pp. 160-161--&gt;

* The quantity of fire in a flame... appears to remain the same, the flame seems to be... a &quot;thing&quot;... yet the substance... is continually changing. ...[P]assing away in smoke ...its place ...always being taken by fresh ...fuel that feeds it. ...'''If we regard the world as an &quot;ever-living fire&quot;''' (fr. 20), '''we can understand ...it ...always becoming all things, while all things are always returning to it.'''&lt;!--p. 161--&gt;

* This necessarily brings... a certain way of looking at the [[change]] and [[movement]] of the world. ...It follows that ...'''[[reality]] is like an ever-flowing stream''' ...nothing is ever at rest ...'''The [[substance]] of ...things ...is in [[Constancy|constant]] change.'''&lt;!--pp. 161-162--&gt;

* '''This theory is usually summed up... &quot;All things are flowing&quot;... though... it cannot be proved that this is a quotation from Herakleitos.'''&lt;!--p. 162--&gt;

* '''[[Plato]]... expresses the idea... clearly.''' &quot;Nothing ever is, everything is becoming&quot;; &quot;All things are in motion like streams&quot;; &quot;All things are passing, and nothing abides&quot;; &quot;Herakleitos says somewhere that all things pass and naught abides; and, comparing things to the current of a river, he says that you cannot step twice into the same stream&quot;. (cf. fr. 41)—these are the terms in which he describes the system.&lt;!--p. 162--&gt;

* '''[[Aristotle]] says the same'''... &quot;All things are in motion,&quot; &quot;nothing steadfastly is.&quot;&lt;!--p. 162--&gt;

* '''Herakleitos held..., that any... thing, however stable in appearance, was merely a section in the stream, and... the matter composing it was never the same''' in any two consecutive moments... '''[T]he idea was''' not... novel, and...  '''hardly the central point in the system of Herakleitos.'''&lt;!--pp. 162-163--&gt;

* '''The [[w:Miletus|Milesians]] held a similar view. The flux of Herakleitos was at most more [[wikt:unceasing#Adjective|unceasing]] and [[wikt:universal#Adjective|universal]].'''&lt;!--p. 163--&gt;

* In the fragments... '''we find nothing about rarefaction and condensation.  The expression used is &quot;[[wikt:exchange#English:_act_of_trading|exchange]]&quot;''' (fr. 22)... '''a very good name for... when [[fire]] gives out smoke and takes in fuel'''...&lt;!--p. 163--&gt;

* '''[O]ur best account of the [[Theophrastus|Theophrastean]] {{w|doxography}} of Herakleitos is''' the fuller of the two accounts... '''in [[Diogenes Laërtius|Laertios Diogenes]]... as follows''':—&lt;br /&gt;...He held that Fire was the element, and that all things were an exchange for fire, produced by condensation and rarefaction. But he explains nothing clearly. All things were produced in opposition, and all things were in flux like a river.&lt;br /&gt;[[The All|The all]] is [[wikt:finite#Adjective|finite]] and the [[world]] is [[1 (number)|one]]. It arises from fire, and is consumed again by fire alternately through all [[eternity]] in... [[wikt:cycle#English:_repeating_process|cycle]]s. This happens according to [[fate]]. That which leads to the becoming of the opposites is called [[War]] and [[Strife]]; that which leads to the final conflagration is [[wikt:/concord#English:_harmonious_union|Concord]] and [[Peace]].&lt;br /&gt;He called change the upward and the downward path, and held that the world comes into being in virtue of this. When fire is condensed it becomes moist, and when compressed it turns to water; water being congealed turns to earth, and this he calls the downward path. And, again, the earth is in turn liquefied, and from it water arises, and from that everything else; for he refers almost everything to the evaporation from the sea. This is the path upwards. R. P. 36&lt;br /&gt;He held, too, that exhalations arose both from the sea and the land; some bright and pure, others dark. Fire was nourished by the bright ones, and moisture by the others.&lt;br /&gt;He does not make it clear what is the nature of that which surrounds the world. He held, however, that there were bowls in it with the concave sides turned towards us, in which the bright exhalations were collected and produced flames. These were the heavenly bodies.&lt;br /&gt;The flame of the sun was the brightest and warmest; for the other heavenly bodies were more distant from the earth; and for that reason gave less light and heat. The moon, on the other hand, was nearer the earth; but it moved through an impure region. The sun moved in a bright and unmixed region, and at the same time was at just the right distance from us. That is why it gives more heat and light. The eclipses of the sun and moon were due to the turning of the bowls upwards, while the monthly phases of the moon were produced by a gradual turning of its bowl.&lt;br /&gt;Day and night, months and seasons and years, rains and winds, and things like these, were due to the different exhalations. The bright exhalation, when ignited in the circle of the sun, produced day, and the preponderance of the opposite exhalations produced night. The increase of warmth proceeding from the bright exhalation produced summer, and the preponderance of moisture from the dark exhalation produced winter. He assigns the causes of other things in conformity with this.&lt;br /&gt;As to the earth, he makes no clear statement about its nature, any more than he does about that of the bowls. These, then, were his opinions. R. P. 39 b.&lt;!--pp. 163-164--&gt;

* '''How is it that, in spite of this constant flux, things appear relatively stable?''' ...[I]t is owing to the observance of the &quot;measures,&quot; in virtue of which the aggregate bulk of each form of matter in the long run remains the same, though its substance is constantly changing, Certain '''&quot;[[wikt:measure#English:_prescribed_limit|measure]]s&quot; of the &quot;ever-living fire&quot; are always being kindled, while like &quot;measures&quot; are always going out''' (fr. 20)...&lt;!--p. 167--&gt;

* '''Αll things are &quot;exchanged&quot; for fire and fire for all things''' (fr. 22), and this implies that for '''everything it takes, fire will give''' as much. '''“The sun will not exceed his measures”''' (fr. 29).&lt;!--p. 167--&gt;

* '''Herakleitos... explained the world by man rather than man by the world'''. ...[[Aristotle]] implies that [[soul]] is identical with the dry exhalation, and this is ...confirmed by the fragments. '''Man is made... of... fire, water, and earth. But, just as in the [[w:Microcosm–macrocosm analogy|macrocosm]] fire is... the one [[wisdom]], so in the [[w:Microcosm–macrocosm analogy|microcosm]]... fire alone is [[Consciousness|conscious]]. When it has left the body..., the mere earth and water, is... worthless''' (fr. 85).&lt;!--pp. 168-169--&gt;

* '''[T]he fire which animates [[human|man]] is subject to the &quot;upward and downward path,&quot; just as much as the fire of the [[world]]. ...&quot;All things are passing, both [[human]] and [[divine]], upwards and downwards by exchanges.&quot;'''&lt;!--p. 169--&gt;

* We are just as much in perpetual flux as anything else in the world. '''We are and are not the same for two consecutive instants''' (fr. 81). The fire in us is perpetually becoming water, and the water earth; but, as the opposite process goes on simultaneously, we appear to remain the same.&lt;!--p. 169--&gt;

* '''Man is subject to... {{w|oscillation}} in his &quot;measures&quot; of [[w:Fire (classical element)|fire]] and [[w:Water (classical element)|water]]... [T]his gives rise to the alternations of [[sleep]]ing and [[wikt:waking#Noun|waking]], [[life]] and [[death]].'''&lt;!--p. 169--&gt;

*  The ''locus classicus'' on this... is... [[Sextus Empiricus]], which reproduces the account of the Herakleitean psychology given by [[w:Aenesidemus|Ainesidemos]]... (R. P. 41):—&lt;br /&gt;The natural philosopher is of opinion that what surrounds us is rational and endowed with consciousness. According to Herakleitos, when we draw in this divine reason by... respiration, we become rational. In sleep we forget, but at our waking we become conscious once more. For in sleep... the mind... is cut off from... that which surrounds us, and only our connexion... by... respiration is preserved as a... root (from which the rest may spring again); and, when... thus separated, it loses the power of memory... When we awake again... it looks out through the openings of the senses, as if through windows, and coming together with the surrounding mind, it assumes the power of [[reason]]. Just... as embers... brought near the fire, change and become red-hot, and go out when they are taken away... so does the portion of... mind... become irrational when... cut off, and... become of like nature to the whole... through the greatest number of openings.&lt;br /&gt;In this passage there is... a... large admixture of later... ideas. In particular... identification of &quot;that which surrounds us&quot; with the air... for Herakleitos can have known nothing of air, which in his day was regarded as a form of water...  The reference to the pores or openings of the senses is probably foreign... for the theory of pores is due to [[w:Alcmaeon of Croton|Alkmaion]]. ...[T]he distinction between [[mind]] and [[body]] is far too sharply drawn. ...[T]he important rôle assigned to respiration may very well be Herakleitean; for we ... met with it ...in [[Anaximenes of Miletus|Anaximenes]]. ...[T]he striking simile of the embers which glow when ...near the fire is genuine (cf. fr. 77).&lt;!--pp. 169-171--&gt;

* '''The true Herakleitean doctrine doubtless was, that [[sleep]] was produced by the encroachment of moist, dark exhalations from the water in the body, which cause the fire to, burn low.''' In sleep, we lose contact with the fire in the world which is common to all, and retire to a world of our own (fr. 95). '''In a [[soul]] where the fire and water are evenly balanced, the equilibrium is restored''' in the morning by an equal advance of the bright exhalation.&lt;!--p. 171--&gt;

* '''[I]n no soul are the fire and water... evenly balanced for long. One... acquires predominance, and the result... is [[death]]'''.&lt;!--p. 171--&gt;

*  It is death... to souls to become water (fr. 68); but that is... '''what happens to souls which seek after [[pleasure]]... a moistening of the soul''' (fr. 72), '''as... in... the [[Drunkenness|drunken]] man''', who... has moistened his soul to... an extent that he does not know where he is going (fr. 73). Even in gentle relaxation over our cups, it is... difficult to hide [[Foolishness|folly]]... (fr. 108).&lt;!--p. 171--&gt;

* That is why it is... necessary... to quench [[wikt:wanton#Noun|wanton]]ness (fr. 103); for '''whatever our heart’s [[desire]] insists on it purchases at the price of [[life]]'''... [i.e.,] '''the [[fire]] within us''' (fr. 105).&lt;!--p. 171--&gt;

* The dry soul, that which has least moisture, is... best (fr. 74); but... preponderance of fire causes... a... different death... and wins &quot;greater portions&quot;... (fr. 101).  ...[T]hose who fall in battle share their lot (fr. 102).&lt;!--p. 171--&gt;

*  '''Those who die the fiery... death, become... gods... in a different sense from that in which the one [[Wisdom]] is god.''' It is probable that the corrupt fragment 123 refers to this unexpected fate (fr. 122)...&lt;!--p. 172--&gt;

* '''[A]s [[summer]] and [[winter]] are one, and... reproduce one another by their &quot;opposite tension,&quot; so do [[life]] and [[death]]... and so... [[youth]] and [[Ageing|age]]''' (fr. 78).&lt;!--p. 172--&gt;

* [T]he soul will be now living and now dead... it will only turn to fire or water... to recommence... its unceasing upward and downward path.&lt;!--p. 172--&gt;

* '''The soul that has [[Death|died]] from excess of moisture sinks down to earth; but from the earth comes water, and from water is once more exhaled a [[soul]]''' (fr. 68).&lt;!--p. 172--&gt;

* So, too... (fr. 67)... '''gods and men are... one. They live each others' [[life]], and die each others' [[death]]. Those [[Mortality|mortals]] that die the fiery death become [[Immortality|immortal]]'''... [i.e.,] '''the guardians of the [[wikt:quick#English:_alive_living|quick]] and the [[Death|dead]]''' (fr. 123); '''and those immortals become mortal in their turn.'''&lt;!--pp. 172-173--&gt;

* '''Everything is... the death of something else''' (fr. 64).&lt;!--p. 173--&gt;

* [[Life|The living]] and [[Death|the dead]] are always changing places (fr. 78)... not only to the [[soul]]s that have become [[w:Water (classical element)|water]], but to those that have become [[w:Fire (classical element)|fire]] and are now [[w:Tutelary deity|guardian spirit]]s.&lt;!--p. 173--&gt;

* '''[R]eal [[wikt:weariness#Noun|weariness]] is continuance in the same state''' (fr. 82), and... '''real [[rest]], is [[change]]''' (fr. 83).  Rest in any other sense is... [[wikt:dissolution#English:_disintegration_fragmentation|dissolution]] (fr. 84). So they too are born once more.&lt;!--p. 173--&gt;

*  '''[[Plato]]’s contrast between Herakleitos and [[Empedocles|Empedokles]]&lt;!--(§ 68)--&gt; ...is ...that, while Herakleitos said the One was always many, and the Many always one, Empedokles said [[the All]] was many and one by turns.'''&lt;!--p. 178--&gt;

* '''[T]he absence of anything to show that Herakleitos spoke of a general {{w|conflagration}}... becomes more [[wikt:patent#English:_explicit_obvious|patent]] when we turn to the few fragments which are supposed to prove it.''' The favourite is fr. 24, where... [[Fire]] was [[wikt:want#Noun|Want]] and [[wikt:surfeit#Noun|Surfeit]]. [I]t has a perfectly intelligible meaning on our interpretation... confirmed by fr. 36. [I]t seems... artificial to understand the Surfeit as referring to the fact that fire has burnt everything else up, and... more so to interpret Want as meaning... fire... has turned into a world. The next is fr. 26 where...   fire... will judge and convict all things. There is nothing... to suggest... fire will judge... at once rather than in turn, and... the advance of fire and water... we have seen... is... limited... '''These appear to be the only passages... the [[Stoicism|Stoics]] and the [[w:Christian apologetics|Christian apologists]] could discover, and... cannot bear the weight of their conclusion'''... [T]here was certainly nothing more definite to be found. &lt;!--pp. 180-181--&gt;

* '''It is much easier to find fragments which are on the face of them [[wikt:inconsistent#English:_incompatible|inconsistent]] with a general {{w|conflagration}}.'''&lt;!--p. 181--&gt;

* [W]hen anything becomes fire, something... equal... must cease to be fire, if the &quot;exchange&quot; is... just... and... we are assured by... the [[Erinyes]] (fr. 29)... that the sun does not take more than he gives. Of course there is... variation; but... strictly confined within limits, and is compensated in the long run by a variation in the other direction.&lt;!--p. 182--&gt;

* [In] fr. 43... Herakleitos blames [[Homer]] for desiring the cessation of [[strife]]... The cessation of strife would mean that all things should take the upward or downward path... and cease to “run in opposite directions” If they all took the upward path, we should have a general conflagration.&lt;!--p. 182--&gt;

* [I]n fr. 20 it is ''this'' world, and not merely the &quot;ever-living fire,&quot; which is... eternal; and... its eternity depends upon... always kindling and always going out in the same &quot;measures&quot;... [i.e.,] encroachment in one direction is compensated by... encroachment in the other.&lt;!--p. 182--&gt;

* ''[M]an'', like the heavenly bodies, oscillates between fire and water; and that is... what Herakleitos taught.&lt;!--p. 183--&gt;

* '''[N]either fire nor water can prevail completely'''... The whole process depends... on the fact that '''[[wikt:surfeit#Noun|Surfeit]] is... [[wikt:want#Noun|Want]]'''... [i.e.,] an advance of fire increases the moist exhalation, while an advance of water deprives the fire of the power to cause evaporation. '''The conflagration... would destroy the opposite tension''' on which the rise of a new world depends, and... '''[[motion]] would become impossible.'''&lt;!--p. 183--&gt;

* We know from [[Philo]] that Herakleitos supported his theory of the attainment of harmony through strife... There is... agreement between a passage of this kind in the pseudo-Aristotelian treatise... ''The Kosmos'', and the Hippokratean work... [B]oth drew from... Herakleitos...  made practically certain by the fact that this agreement extends... to the ''Letters of Herakleitos'', which, though spurious, were... composed by some one who had access to the original work.&lt;!--p. 185--&gt;

* The argument was that '''[[Human|men]]... act just in the same way as [[Nature]], and it is therefore surprising that they do not recognise the [[Natural law|law]]s by which she works'''.&lt;!--p. 185--&gt;

* T'''he [[Painting|painter]] produces his [[Harmony|harmonious]] effects by the contrast of [[Colors|colours]], the [[Music|musician]] by that of high and low notes. &quot;If one were to make all things alike, there would be no delight in them.&quot;''' There are many similar examples in the Hippokratean tract, some... come from Herakleitos; but it is not easy to separate them...&lt;!--p. 185--&gt;

* [A] number of Herakleitean fragments... form a class by themselves, and are among the most striking... Their common characteristic... they assert... the identity of... things... usually regarded as opposites.&lt;!--p. 186--&gt;

* Herakleitos meant to say, not that day was night or that night was day, but that they were two sides of the same process, namely, the oscillation of the &quot;measures&quot; of fire and water, and... neither would be possible without the other.&lt;!--p. 186--&gt;

* '''Any explanation... of night will... be an explanation of day, and ''vice versa''; for it will be an account of that which is common'''... manifests itself now as one and now as the other. ...[B]ecause it has manifested... in the one form... it must next appear in the other... [as] required by the [[Natural law|law]] of compensation or [[Justice]].&lt;!--p. 186--&gt;

* This is only a particular application of the universal principle that '''the primary fire is one even in its division. It itself is, even in its unity, both surfeit and want, war and peace''' (fr. 36).&lt;!--p. 186--&gt;

* [T]he &quot;satiety&quot; which makes fire pass into other forms, which makes it seek &quot;rest in change&quot; (frs. 82, 83), and &quot;hide itself&quot; (fr. 10) in the &quot;hidden attunement&quot; of opposition, is only one side of the process. The other is the &quot;want&quot; which leads it to consume the bright vapour as fuel. '''The upward path is nothing without the downward''' (fr. 69). '''If either were to cease, the other would cease... and the world would disappear; for it takes both to make... stable reality.'''&lt;!--pp. 186-187--&gt; 

* All other utterances of the kind are to be explained in the same way.&lt;!--p. 187--&gt;

* If there were no cold, there would be no heat; for a thing can only grow warm if... it is already cold.&lt;!--p. 187--&gt;

* [T]he same thing applies to the opposition of wet and dry (fr. 39).&lt;!--p. 187--&gt;

* These... are... the two primary oppositions of [[Anaximander]], and Herakleitos is showing that the [[war]]... is really [[peace]], for it is the common element in them (fr. 62) which appears as [[strife]], and that... strife is [[justice]], and not, as Anaximander had taught, an [[injustice]]... they commit one against the other, and which must be expiated by a reabsorption of both in their common ground.&lt;!--p. 187--&gt;

* '''The [[strife]] itself is the common ground''' (fr. 62), '''and is eternal.'''&lt;!--p. 187--&gt;

* The most startling of these sayings is that which affirms that '''[[Goodness|good]] and [[evil]]''' are the same (fr. 57). This does not mean in the least... that good is evil or that evil is good, but... that they '''are the two inseparable halves''' of one and the same thing.&lt;!--p. 187--&gt;

* '''A thing can become [[Goodness|good]] only in so far as it is already [[evil]]''', and evil only in so far as it is already good... '''everything depends on the [[contrast]].'''&lt;!--p. 187--&gt;

* Herakleitos is not a believer in absolute relativity. The process of the world is not merely a circle, but an &quot;upward and downward path.&quot;&lt;!--p. 188--&gt;

* At the upper end, where the two paths meet, we have the pure fire, in which, as there is no separation, there is no relativity.&lt;!--p. 188--&gt;

* [W]hile to [[Human|man]] some things are evil and some things are good, all things are good to [[God]] (fr.61). ...[B]y God ...Herakleitos meant [[w:Fire (classical element)|fire]]. He also calls it the &quot;one wise,&quot; and perhaps said... it &quot;knows all things.&quot; ...[H]e meant to say ...in it the opposition and relativity which are universal in the world disappear. ...[T]o this ...frs. 96, 97, and 98 refer.&lt;!--p. 188--&gt;

* Herakleitos speaks of &quot;[[wisdom]]&quot; or the &quot;wise&quot; in two senses. ...[H]e said wisdom was &quot;something apart from everything else&quot; (fr. 18), meaning ...the perception of the unity of the many ...[H]e also applies the term to that unity... regarded as the &quot;thought that directs the course of all things.&quot; This is synonymous with the pure fire which is not differentiated into two parts, one taking the upward and the other the downward path. That alone has wisdom; the partial things we see have not. We ourselves are only wise in so far as we are fiery (fr. 74).&lt;!--pp. 188-189--&gt;

* With... reservations, Herakleitos was prepared to call the one [[Wisdom]] by the name of [[Zeus]]. Such... appears to be the meaning of fr. 65. It is not... to be pictured in the form of a [[Human|man]]. In saying this, Herakleitos would only have been repeating... [[Anaximander]] and [[Xenophanes]]. He agrees further with Xenophanes in holding that this &quot;god&quot;... is one; but '''his polemic against popular religion was directed... against the rites and ceremonies... [rather] than their mere [[Mythology|mythological]] outgrowth.'''&lt;!--p. 189--&gt;

* '''He gives a list''' (fr. 124) '''of some of the most characteristic religious figures of his time, and... threatened them with the [[wikt:wrath#Noun|wrath]] to come.'''&lt;!--p. 189--&gt;

* '''He comments upon the [[absurdity]] of [[Idolatry|praying to images]]''' (fr. 126), '''and... that [[wikt:/bloodguilt#Noun|blood-guilt]]iness can be washed out by the shedding of blood''' (fr. 130).&lt;!--p. 189--&gt;

* He seems also to have said that '''it was absurd to celebrate the worship of [[Dionysus|Dionysos]] by cheerful and licentious ceremonies, while {{w|Hades}} was propitiated by gloomy rites''' (fr. 127). '''According to the mystic doctrine itself, the two were really one; and the one [[Wisdom]] ought to be worshipped in its integrity.'''&lt;!--p. 189--&gt;

* The few fragments which deal with [[theology]] and [[religion]] hardly suggest to us that Herakleitos was in sympathy with the religious revival of the time, and yet we have been asked to consider his system &quot;in the light of the idea of the [[w:Greco-Roman mysteries|mysteries]].&quot;&lt;!--p. 190--&gt;
** &lt;small&gt;'''Footnote''': E. Pfleiderer, ''Die Philosophie des Heraklit von Ephesus im Lichte der Mysterienidee'' (1886).&lt;/small&gt;

* The moral teaching of Herakleitos has sometimes been regarded as an anticipation of the &quot;commonsense&quot; theory of [[Ethics]].&lt;!--p. 190--&gt;
** &lt;small&gt;'''Footnote''':Kostlin, ''Gesch. d. Ethik'', i. pp. 160 sqq.&lt;/small&gt;

*  '''The &quot;common&quot; upon which Herakleitos insists is... very different from [[common sense]], for which... he had the greatest... contempt''' (fr. 111). '''It is... his strongest objection to &quot;the many,&quot; that they live each in his own world''' (fr. 95), '''as if they had a private [[wisdom]] of their own''' (fr. 92); '''and [[public opinion]] is therefore... opposite of &quot;the common.&quot;'''&lt;!--p. 190--&gt;

* '''The [[Ethics]] of Herakleitos''' are to be regarded as a corollary of his anthropological and cosmological views. Their chief requirement... '''keep our souls dry, and thus assimilate them to the one Wisdom... fire. That is what is... &quot;common,&quot; and the greatest fault is to act like men asleep''' (fr. 94)... '''by letting our souls grow moist, to cut ourselves off from the fire in the world.'''&lt;!--pp. 190-191--&gt;

* '''The [[Wisdom|wise man]] would not try to secure [[Goodness|good]] without its correlative [[evil]]. He would not seek for [[rest]] without [[work|exertion]], nor expect to enjoy [[contentment]] without first suffering [[discontent]]. He would not complain that he had to take the bad with the good, but would consistently look at things as a [[Holism|whole]].'''&lt;!--p. 191--&gt;

* Herakleitos prepared the way for the [[Stoicism|Stoic]] world-state by comparing &quot;the common&quot; to the laws of a city. And these are... more than a type of the divine law: they are imperfect embodiments of it. They cannot... exhaust it altogether; for in all human affairs there is an element of relativity (fr. 91). &quot;Man is a baby compared to God&quot; (fr. 97). Such as they are, however, the city must fight for them as for its walls; and, if it has the good fortune to possess a citizen with a dry soul, he is worth ten thousand (fr. 113); for in him alone is &quot;the common&quot; embodied.&lt;!--p. 191--&gt;

== See also ==
* [[A History of Western Philosophy#Chapter IV. Heraclitus]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{wikisource|Fragments of Heraclitus}}
{{commonscat}}
* [http://www.iep.utm.edu/heraclit/ Heraclitus at the Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy]
* [http://www.heraclitusfragments.com/files/ge.html Fragments (original Greek text)]
* [http://philoctetes.free.fr/heraclitefraneng.htm Philoctetesː Fragments (original Greek text)]
* [http://philoctetes.free.fr/heraclitus.htm Fragments of Heraclitus] – parallel Greek with links to Perseus, French, and English
* [http://www.heraclitusfragments.com/ Heraclitus Fragments] in Greek (Unicode) and English
* [http://community.middlebury.edu/~harris/Philosophy/heraclitus.pdf ''Heraclitus: The Complete Fragments''], William Harris (translator), Greek and English (DK numbers) with commentary ([[w:PDF|PDF]] file)
* [http://www.ellopos.net/elpenor/greek-texts/ancient-greece/herakleitus-word.asp Heraclitus Bilingual Anthology (in Greek and English, side by side)]
* [http://www.philosophy.gr/presocratics/heraclitus.htm Heraclitus of Ephesus by Giannis Stamatellos]
{{Ancient Greek schools of philosophy}}</text>
      <sha1>mhprz45t19u99ro2vd0g9d5pqcyrlnt</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944007</id>
      <parentid>3944006</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T18:22:37Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>En-cor-Zenodoti</username>
        <id>3308631</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Quotes about Heraclitus */</comment>
      <origin>3944007</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="30905" sha1="cers3fvtgjfuhxtu1x1wmqwopwevlg8" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Heraclitus b 4 compressed.jpg|thumb|Everything flows.]]
'''[[w:Heraclitus|Heraclitus of Ephesus]]''' (Ἡράκλειτος, ''Herakleitos''; c. [[535 BC]] – [[475 BC]]) was a Greek philosopher, known for his doctrine of change being central to the universe, and for establishing the term [[Logos|Logos (λόγος)]] in Western philosophy as meaning both the source and fundamental order of the [[w:Cosmos|Cosmos]].

== Quotes ==

=== As quoted by Plato in ''Cratylus'' ===

[[File:Sanzio 01 Heraclitus (cropped).jpg|right|thumb|Nothing endures but [[change]].]]

* τὰ ὄντα ἰέναι τε πάντα καὶ μένειν οὐδέν
** '''All [[entities]] [[move]] and nothing remains still.'''
** As quoted by [[Plato]] in ''[[wikipedia:Cratylus (dialogue)|Cratylus]]'', 401d

* πάντα χωρεῖ καὶ οὐδὲν μένει
** '''Everything changes and nothing stands still.'''
** As quoted by [[Plato]] in ''[[wikipedia:Cratylus (dialogue)|Cratylus]]'', 402a
** Variants and variant translations: &lt;br&gt; '''Everything flows and nothing stays.''' &lt;br&gt; Everything flows and nothing abides. &lt;br&gt; Everything gives way and nothing stays fixed. &lt;br&gt; Everything flows; nothing remains. &lt;br&gt; All is flux, nothing is stationary. &lt;br&gt; All is flux, nothing stays still. &lt;br&gt; All flows, nothing stays.
** [[w:Panta rhei (Heraclitus)|Πάντα ῥεῖ]]
*** '''Everything flows.'''
**** This statement occurs in [[w:Simplicius of Cilicia|Simplicius]]' ''Commentary on [[Aristotle]]'s [[w:Physics (Aristotle)|Physics]]'', 1313.11; while some sources attribute to Simplicius the coining of the specific phrase &quot;πάντα ῥεῖ (panta rhei)&quot;, meaning &quot;everything flows/is in a state of flux&quot;, to characterize the concept in the philosophy of Heraclitus, the essential phrasing &quot;everything changes&quot; and variations on it, in contexts where Heraclitus's thought is being alluded to, was current in both [[Plato]] and [[Aristotle]]'s writings.

[[File:Into_the_Narrows.jpg|right|thumb|You could not step twice into the same [[river]]; for other [[waters]] are ever flowing on to you.]]

* δὶς ἐς τὸν αὐτὸν ποταμὸν οὐκ ἂν ἐμβαίης.
** '''You could not step twice into the same river.'''
** As quoted in Plato, ''Cratylus'', 402a

=== As quoted by others ===

* Τίς γὰρ αὐτῶν νόος ἢ φρήν; [δήμων] ἀοιδοῖσι ἕπονται καὶ διδασκάλῳ χρέωνται ὁμίλῳ, οὐκ εἰδότες ὅτι πολλοὶ κακοὶ ὀλίγοι δὲ ἀγαθοί. αἱρεῦνται γὰρ ἓν ἀντία πάντων οἱ ἄριστοι, κλέος ἀέναον θνητῶν, οἱ δὲ πολλοὶ κεκόρηνται ὅκωσπερ κτήνεα.
*# The best people renounce all for one goal, the eternal fame of mortals; but most people stuff themselves like cattle.
*# For what sense or understanding have they? They follow minstrels and take the multitude for a teacher, not knowing that many are bad and few good. For the best men choose one thing above all – immortal glory among mortals; but the masses stuff themselves like cattle. ([http://www.classicpersuasion.org/pw/heraclitus/herpatu.htm G.T.W. Patrick, 1889])
*#: &quot;The passage is restored as above by Bernays (''Heraclitea i.'' p. 34), and Bywater (p. 43), from the following sources:
*#:* [[Clement of Alexandria|Clement of Alex.]] ''Strom. v. 9,'' p. 682.
*#:* [[Proclus]] in ''Alcib.'' p. 255 Creuzer, = 525 ed. ''Cous. ii.''
*#:* [[Clement of Alexandria|Clement of Alex.]] ''Strom. iv.'' 7, p. 586.&quot;

* Ten thousand do not turn the scale against a single man of worth.
** in [[Eric Hoffer]], ''Between the Devil and the Dragon'' (New York: 1982), p. 107

* The many are mean; only the few are noble.
** in [[Eric Hoffer]], ''Between the Devil and the Dragon'' (New York: 1982), p. 108

=== Numbered fragments ===
:&lt;small&gt;Greek text cited from A. Laks, G. W. Most, ''Early Greek Philosophy, vol. 3 Early Ionian Thinkers, Part 2'' (Cambridge-London, 2016).&lt;br&gt;Fragments numbered according to H. Diels, W. Kranz, ''Die Fragmente der Vorsokratiker'' (Hildesheim, &lt;sup&gt;6&lt;/sup&gt;1952).&lt;/small&gt;

* τοῦ λόγου δ᾿ ἐόντος ξυνοῦ ζώουσιν οἱ πολλοὶ ὡς ἰδίαν ἔχοντες φρόνησιν.
** Though [[wisdom]] is common, yet the many live as if they had a wisdom of their own.
** B 2 DK = D 2 Laks-Most
*** Alternative translation:
*** So we must follow the common, yet the many live as if they had a wisdom of their own.

* τὸ ἀντίξουν συμφέρον καὶ ἐκ τῶν διαφερόντων καλλίστην ἁρμονίαν.
** Opposition brings concord. Out of discord comes the fairest harmony.
** B 8 DK = D 62 Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/heraclitus00whee/page/90/mode/2up P. Wheelwright, 1959])

* συνάψιες ὅλα καὶ οὐχ ὅλα, συμφερόμενον καὶ διαφερόμενον, συνᾷδον διᾷδον, καὶ ἐκ πάντων ἓν καὶ ἐξ ἑνὸς πάντα.
** Couples are wholes and not wholes, what agrees disagrees, the concordant is discordant. From all things one and from one all things.
** B 10 DK = D 47 Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/bwb_W8-AAA-035/page/488/mode/2up W. H. S. Jones, 1931])
** Alternative translation: From out of all the many [[particulars]] comes oneness, and out of oneness come all the many particulars.

* ποταμοῖσι τοῖσιν αὐτοῖσιν ἐμβαίνουσιν ἕτερα καὶ ἕτερα ὕδατα ἐπιρρεῖ.
** Upon those who are stepping into the same rivers different and again different waters flow.
** B 12 DK = D 65b Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/heraclitus0000hera/page/206/mode/2up M. Marcovich, 1967])

[[File:Utrecht Moreelse Heraclite.JPG|thumb|right|The majority of people have no understanding of the things with which they daily meet, nor, when instructed, do they have any right knowledge of them, although to themselves they seem to have.]]

* οὐ γὰρ φρονέουσι τοιαῦτα πολλοὶ, ὁκόσοι ἐγκυρεῦσιν, οὐδὲ μαθόντες γινώσκουσιν, ἑωυτοῖσι δὲ δοκέουσι.
** The majority of people have no understanding of the things with which they daily meet, nor, when instructed, do they have any right knowledge of them, although to themselves they seem to have.
** B 17 DK = D 3 Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/fragmentsofworko00hera/page/84/mode/2up G. W. T. Patrick, 1889])

* ἐὰν μὴ ἔλπηται ἀνέλπιστον οὐκ ἐξευρήσει, ἀνεξερεύνητον ἐὸν καὶ ἄπορον.
** He who does not expect will not find out the unexpected, for it is trackless and unexplored.
** B 18 DK = D 37 Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/artthoughtofhera0000kahn/page/31/mode/2up C. H. Kahn, 1981])
*** Alternative translation ([https://www.loebclassics.com/view/heraclitus-doctrine/2016/pb_LCL526.157.xml A. Laks, G. W. Most, 2016]):
*** If one does not expect the unexpected one will not find it, for it cannot be searched out nor arrived at.

* μόροι γὰρ μέζονες μέζονας μοίρας λαγχάνουσι.
** Greater fates gain greater rewards.
** B 25 DK = D 122b Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/fragmentsofworko00hera/page/108/mode/2up G. T. W. Patrick, 1889]

[[File:Louvre Br 4634 Bronze lamp.jpg|right|thumb|Man, like a [[light]] in the [[night]], is kindled and put out.]]

* ἄνθρωπος ἐν εὐφρόνῃ φάος ἅπτεται ἑαυτῷ [ἀποθανών], ἀποσβεσθεὶς ὄψεις· ζῶν δὲ ἅπτεται τεθνεῶτος εὕδων· ἐγρηγορὼς ἅπτεται εὕδοντος.
** A human being, in the night, lights a lamp for himself, his eyes extinguished; living, he touches on a dead man when sleeping; when awake, he touches on a sleeping man.
** B 26 DK = D 71 Laks-Most

* κόσμον τόνδε, τὸν αὐτὸν ἁπάντων, οὔτε τις θεῶν οὔτε ἀνθρώπων ἐποίησεν, ἀλλ᾿ ἦν ἀεὶ καὶ ἔστιν καὶ ἔσται, πῦρ ἀείζωον, ἁπτόμενον μέτρα καὶ ἀποσβεννύμενον μέτρα.
** This universe, which is the same for all, has not been made by any god or man, but it always has been, is, and will be an ever-living fire, kindling itself by regular measures and going out by regular measures.
** B 30 DK = D 85 Laks-Most
** Variant translations: &lt;br&gt; The world, an entity out of everything, was created by neither gods nor men, but was, is and will be eternally living fire, regularly becoming ignited and regularly becoming extinguished. &lt;br&gt; This world . . . ever was, and is, and shall be, ever-living Fire, in measures being kindled and in measure going out.
** That which always was,&lt;br&gt;and is, and will be everlasting fire,&lt;br&gt;the same for all, the cosmos,&lt;br&gt;made neither by god nor man,&lt;br&gt;replenishes in measure&lt;br&gt;as it burns away.
*** Translated by Brooks Haxton

* ἓν τὸ σοφόν, μοῦνον λέγεσθαι οὐκ ἐθέλει καὶ ἐθέλει Ζηνὸς ὄνομα.
** The wise is one only. It is unwilling and willing to be called by the name of [[Zeus]].
** B 32 DK = D 45 Laks-Most

* χρὴ γὰρ εὖ μάλα πολλῶν ἵστορας φιλοσόφους ἄνδρας εἶναι.
** Men that love wisdom must be acquainted with very many things indeed.
** B 35 DK = D 40 Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/earlygreekphilos0000burn/page/136/mode/2up J. Burnet, 1930])

* πολυμαθίη νόον οὐ διδάσκει.
** Much learning does not teach understanding.
** B 40 DK = D 20 Laks-Most

* μάχεσθαι χρὴ τὸν δῆμον ὑπὲρ τοῦ νόμου ὅκωσπερ τείχεος.
** The people must fight for its [[law]] as for its walls.
** B 44 DK = D 106 Laks-Most

* εἷς ἐμοὶ μύριοι, ἐὰν ἄριστος ᾖ.
** One is ten thousand to me, if he be the best.
** B 49 DK = D 12 Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/earlygreekphilos0000burn/page/140/mode/2up J. Burnet, 1930])

* ποταμοῖς τοῖς αὐτοῖς ἐμβαίνομέν τε καὶ οὐκ ἐμβαίνομεν, εἶμέν τε καὶ οὐκ εἶμεν.
** We step and do not step into the same rivers; we are and are not.
** B 49a DK = D 65a Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/earlygreekphilos0000burn/page/138/mode/2up J. Burnet, 1930])

* οὐκ ἐμοῦ ἀλλὰ τοῦ λόγου ἀκούσαντας ὁμολογεῖν σοφόν ἐστιν ἓν πάντα εἶναι.
** It is wise to listen, not to me but to the Word, and to confess that all things are one.
** B 50 DK = D 46 Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/bwb_W8-AAA-035/page/470/mode/2up W. H. S. Jones, 1931])
** Variant translations: &lt;br&gt; Listening not to me but to reason, it is wise to agree that all is one. &lt;br&gt; Listening not to me but to the Word it is wise to agree that all things are one. &lt;br&gt;'''He who hears not me but the ''logos'' will say: All is one.'''&lt;br&gt;It is wise to hearken, not to me, but to my Word, and to confess that all things are one.

* αἰὼν παῖς ἐστι παίζων, πεσσεύων· παιδὸς ἡ βασιληίη.
** A lifetime is a child playing, playing checkers: the kingship belongs to a child.
** B 52 DK = D 76 Laks-Most (tr. [https://www.loebclassics.com/view/heraclitus-doctrine/2016/pb_LCL526.175.xml A. Laks, G. W. Most, 2016])

* πόλεμος πάντων μὲν πατήρ ἐστι, πάντων δὲ βασιλεύς, καὶ τοὺς μὲν θεοὺς ἔδειξε τοὺς δὲ ἀνθρώπους, τοὺς μὲν δούλους ἐποίησε τοὺς δὲ ἐλευθέρους.
** War is the father and king of all, and has produced some as gods and some as men, and has made some slaves and some free.
** B 53 DK = D 64 Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/fragmentsofworko00hera/page/94/mode/2up G. T. W. Patrick, 1889])
*** Alternative translation:
*** War is the father and king of all: some he has made gods, and some men; some slaves and some free.

* ὁδὸς ἄνω κάτω μία καὶ ὡυτή.
** The road up and the road down is one and the same.
** B 60 DK = D 51 Laks-Most
** Variant translations: &lt;br&gt; The road up and the road down are one and the same. &lt;br&gt; The road uphill and the road downhill are one and the same. &lt;br&gt; The way up and the way down are one and the same.
&lt;!-- * τὴν μεταβολὴν ὁδὸν ἄνω κάτω, τόν τε κόσμον γίνεσθαι κατ' αὐτήν.
** Change he called a pathway up and down, and this determines the birth of the world.
** From ''Lives and Opinions of Eminent Philosophers'' by Diogenes Laërtius, Book IX, section 8 --&gt;

* ὁ θεὸς ἡμέρη εὐφρόνη, χειμὼν θέρος, πόλεμος εἰρήνη, κόρος λιμός.
** God is day and night, winter and summer, war and peace, surfeit and hunger.
** B 67 DK = D 48 Laks-Most

* ᾧ μάλιστα διηνεκῶς ὁμιλοῦσι, λόγῳ τῷ τὰ ὅλα διοικοῦντι, τούτῳ διαφέρονται.
** Men are at variance with the one thing with which they are in the most unbroken communion, the reason that administers the whole universe.
** B 72 DK = R 54 Laks-Most

* θυμῷ μάχεσθαι χαλεπόν· ὃ γὰρ θέλῃ, ψυχῆς ὠνεῖται.
** It is hard to fight with one's heart's desire. Whatever it wishes to get, it purchases at the cost of soul.
** B 85 DK = D 116 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/earlygreekphilos0000burn/page/140/mode/2up J. Burnet, 1930]
*** Paraphrased by Aristotle, ''[[Nicomachean Ethics]]'', Book II (1105a) (tr. [https://archive.org/details/firstphilosopher00fair/page/58/mode/2up A. Fairbanks, 1898]):
*** It is harder to fight against pleasure than against anger.

* ταὐτό γ᾿ ἔνι ζῶν καὶ τεθνηκὸς καὶ τὸ ἐγρηγορὸς καὶ καθεῦδον καὶ νέον καὶ γηραιόν.
** And it is the same thing in us that is quick and dead, awake and asleep, young and old.
** B 88 DK = D 68 Laks-Most

* τοῖς ἐγρηγορόσιν ἕνα καὶ κοινὸν κόσμον εἶναι, τῶν δὲ κοιμωμένων ἕκαστον εἰς ἴδιον ἀποστρέφεσθαι.
** The waking have one world in common; sleepers have each a private world of his own.
** B 89 DK = R 56 Laks-Most
&lt;!-- * ποταμῷ γὰρ οὐκ ἔστιν ἐμβῆναι δὶς τῷ αὐτῷ
** You cannot step twice into the same river.
** B 91 DK
** Plutarch, ''On the EI at Delphi'' // Not in Laks-Most; derived from D 65a, b, c Laks-Most --&gt;

* νέκυες κοπρίων ἐκβλητότεροι.
** Corpses are more fit to be cast out than dung.
** B 96 DK = D 119 Laks-Most

[[File:Dog-Mosaic.jpg|thumb|Dogs, also, bark at what they do not know.]]

* κύνες γὰρ καταβαύζουσιν ὧν ἂν μὴ γινώσκωσι.
** Dogs, also, bark at what they do not know.
** B 97 DK = D 9 Laks-Most

* ἀμαθίην ἄμεινον κρύπτειν.
** It is better to conceal ignorance than to expose it.
** B 95 DK = D 113 Laks-Most

* ἐδιζησάμην ἐμεωυτόν.
** I have sought for myself. 
** B 101 DK = D 36 Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/earlygreekphilos0000burn/page/138/mode/2up J. Burnet, 1930])

* τίς αὐτῶν νόος ἢ φρήν; δήμων ἀοιδοῖσι πείθονται καὶ διδασκάλῳ χρείωνται ὁμίλῳ οὐκ εἰδότες ὅτι οἱ πολλοὶ κακοί, ὀλίγοι δὲ ἀγαθοί.
** For what sense or understanding have they? They follow minstrels and take the multitude for a teacher, not knowing that many are bad and few good. &lt;!-- For the best men choose one thing above all—immortal glory among mortals; but the masses stuff themselves like cattle. // Not considered part of the fragment by Diels-Kranz and Laks-Most --&gt;
** B 104 DK = D 10 Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/fragmentsworkhe00heragoog/page/110/mode/2up G. W. T. Patrick, 1889])

* ἀνθρώποις γίνεσθαι ὁκόσα θέλουσιν οὐκ ἄμεινον.
** It would not be better if things happened to people just as they wish.
** B 110 DK = D 117 Laks-Most

* ξὺν νόῳ λέγοντας ἰσχυρίζεσθαι χρὴ τῷ ξυνῷ πάντων, ὅκωσπερ νόμῳ πόλις καὶ πολὺ ἰσχυροτέρως. τρέφονται γὰρ πάντες οἱ ἀνθρώπειοι νόμοι ὑπὸ ἑνὸς τοῦ θείου· κρατεῖ γὰρ τοσοῦτον ὁκόσον ἐθέλει καὶ ἐξαρκεῖ πᾶσι καὶ περιγίνεται.
** Speaking with sense we must fortify ourselves in the common sense of all, as a city is fortified by its law, and even more forcefully. For all human laws are nourished by the one [[divine]] law. For [[rule of law|it prevails as far as it will]] and suffices for all and is superabundant.
** B 114 DK = D 105 Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/isbn_9780521737630/page/n3/mode/2up D. W. Graham, 2010])

* ἀνθρώποισι πᾶσι μέτεστι γινώσκειν ἑωυτοὺς καὶ σωφρονεῖν.
** It pertains to all men to know themselves and to learn self-control.
** B 116 DK = D 30 Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/fragmentsworkhe00heragoog/page/108/mode/2up G. T. W. Patrick, 1889])
*:&lt;small&gt;Compare: {{w|Know thyself}}; [[Geoffrey Chaucer]], ''[[The Monk's Tale]]'', l. 149; [[Shakespeare]], ''[[The Merchant of Venice]]'', act I, sc. i, l. 7&lt;/small&gt;

* ἦθος ἀνθρώπῳ δαίμων.
** [[Character]] is destiny.
** B 119 DK = D 111 Laks-Most
** Alternative translations: &lt;br&gt; Character is fate. &lt;br&gt; Man's character is his fate. &lt;br&gt; A man's character is his fate. &lt;br&gt; A man's character is his guardian divinity.&lt;br&gt;One's bearing shapes one's fate.

* φύσις κρύπτεσθαι φιλεῖ.
** Nature is [[wiktionary:wont#Adjective|wont]] to hide herself.
** B 123 DK = D 35 Laks-Most (tr. [https://archive.org/details/bwb_W8-AAA-035/page/472/mode/2up W. H. S. Jones, 1931])

== Attributed ==

* φασὶ δὲ αὐτὸν ἐρωτηθέντα διὰ τί σιωπᾷ, φάναι &quot;ἵν᾿ ὑμεῖς λαλῆτε.&quot;
** They say that when he was asked why he kept silent, he said, &quot;So that you can chatter.&quot;
** A 1 DK = P 14 Laks-Most (tr. [https://www.loebclassics.com/view/heraclitus-person/2016/pb_LCL526.131.xml A. Laks, G. W. Most, 2016])

* καθάπερ Ἡράκλειτος λέγεται πρὸς τοὺς ξένους εἰπεῖν τοὺς βουλομένους ἐντυχεῖν αὐτῷ, οἳ ἐπειδὴ προσιόντες εἶδον αὐτὸν θερόμενον πρὸς τῷ ἰπνῷ, ἔστησαν (ἐκέλευε γὰρ αὐτοὺς εἰσιέναι θαρροῦντας· εἶναι γὰρ καὶ ἐνταῦθα θεούς).
** Just as what Heraclitus is reported to have said to strangers who wanted to meet him—they were approaching him, but they stopped when they saw that he was warming himself by the oven; but he told them not to hesitate but to enter, saying to them, &quot;For there are gods here too.&quot;
** A 9 DK = P 15 Laks-Most (tr. [https://www.loebclassics.com/view/heraclitus-person/2016/pb_LCL526.131.xml A. Laks, G. W. Most, 2016])

{{Misattributed begin}}
== Misattributed ==

* Of Every One-Hundred Men, Ten shouldn't even be there, Eighty are nothing but targets, Nine are real fighters... We are lucky to have them... They make the battle. Ah but the One, One of them is a Warrior... and He will bring the others back.
** Attributed to &quot;Hericletus c. 500 B.C.&quot; [sic] in [https://books.google.com/books?id=xO7XAAAAMAAJ&amp;dq=%22They+make+the+battle.+Ah+but+the+One%2C+One+of+them+is+a+Warrior%22&amp;focus=searchwithinvolume&amp;q=%22He+will+bring+the+others+back%22 ''The Tactical Rifle''] (1999) by Gabriel Suarez; no earlier source has been found. &lt;!-- A [http://www.armedpolitesociety.com/index.php?topic=935.0 blog poster] claimed that Gabriel Suarez told them that he got the quote from [https://www.amazon.com/Warriors-Words-Quotation-Sesostris-Schwarzkopf/dp/1854090887 Warrior's Words: A Quotation Book compiled by Peter Tsouras.] I was unable to find the quote in the book. —unsigned comment by {{user|152.42.186.189}} --&gt;

{{Misattributed end}}

== Quotes about Heraclitus ==

*It was not [[Zeno of Citium|Zeno]], the founder of the [[Stoics]], alone, who taught that the Universe evolves, and its primary substance is transformed from the state of fire into that of air, then into that of water, etc. Heraclitus of Ephesus maintained that the one principle that underlies all phenomena in Nature is fire. The intelligence that moves the Universe is fire, and fire is intelligence. And while [[Anaximenes of Miletus|Anaximenes]] said the same of air, and [[Thales of Miletus]] (600 years b.c.) of water, the Esoteric Doctrine reconciles all these philosophers, by showing that though each was right, the system of none was complete.
** [[H.P. Blavatsky]], ''The Secret Doctrine'', Vol. 1 of 4 (1888)

* In... Heraclitus... [[w:Process philosophy|Becoming]] occupies the foremost place. He regarded that which moves, the [[fire]], as the basic element. The difficulty, to reconcile the... one fundamental principle with the [[Infinity|infinite]] variety of phenomena, is solved... by recognizing... strife of... opposites is... a kind of [[harmony]]. ...[T]he world is ...one and many ...&quot;the opposite tension&quot; of ...opposites ...constitutes the [[unity]] of [[1 (number)|the One]]. He says: &quot;...[[war]] is common to all and strife is [[justice]] ...all things come into being and pass away through strife.&quot; ...[T]hat infinite and [[Eternity|eternal]] undifferentiated [[Being]] ...cannot ...explain the infinite variety of things. This leads to the [[wikt:antithesis#Noun|antithesis]] of Being and Becoming and ...to the solution of Heraclitus ...[[change]] ...is the fundamental principle; the &quot;imperishable change, that [[wikt:renovate#Verb|renovate]]s the world,&quot; as the poets have called it. But ...change ...is not a material cause and therefore is represented ...by the fire ...both matter and a moving force. ...[[Physics|[P]hysics]] is ...extremely near to ...Heraclitus ...[i]f we replace ...&quot;fire&quot; by ...&quot;[[energy]]&quot; ...Energy is a substance, since its total ...does not change, and ...[[elementary particle]]s can ...be made from this ...Energy may be called the fundamental cause for all change in the world. ...Energy is ...that which moves; it may be called the primary cause of all change, and ...can be transformed into [[matter]] or [[Thermodynamics|heat]] or [[light]]. The strife between opposites in the philosophy of Heraclitus can be found in the strife between two different forms of energy.
** [[Werner Heisenberg]], ''Physics and Philosophy'' (1958) [https://archive.org/details/physicsphilosoph0000heis_n9m9/page/62/mode/1up?view=theater pp. 62-71.]

* [With Heraclitus] we see land; there is no proposition of Heraclitus which I have not adopted in my Logic.
** [[Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel]], ''Lectures on the History of Philosophy'' (1892), trans. E. S. Haldane, p. 279

* I walked on to the next corner, sat on a bench at a bus stop, and read in my new book about Heraclitus. All things flow like a river, he said; nothing abides. [[Parmenides]], on the other hand, believed that nothing ever changed, it only seemed so. Both views appealed to me.
** [[w:Ross Macdonald|Ross Macdonald]], ''The Chill'' (1963), Vintage Crime/Black Lizard edition, pp. 209-210.

* In other countries, too, the idea of a creation was sternly rejected, as, for instance, by Heraclitus, who declares that no god and no man made this world, but that it was always and is and will be, an eternal fire, assuming forms and destroying them. And this protest, it should be remembered, came from a man who was able to say with equal honesty that 'God is day and night, winter and summer, war and peace, satiety and hunger—and that he is called according to the pleasure of every one.'
** [[Max Müller]], ''Natural Religion'' (1892) [https://books.google.com/books?id=bJQ7AAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA253 p. 253.]

* Herakleitos, about 460 B.C., one of the boldest thinkers of ancient Greece, declared that [[Homer]] deserved to be ejected from public assemblies and flogged...
** [[Max Müller]], ''Introduction to the Science of Religion'' (1873) [https://books.google.com/books?id=Jgq261TVeMsC&amp;pg=PA343 p. 343.]

* If the flow is steady, the [[w:Vector field|field velocity vectors]] and the system of [[w:Streamlines, streaklines, and pathlines|streamlines]] remain unaffected by the progress of time. Looking at the vector field and its streamlines we do not notice any change. Yet if we could distinguish the different particles of fluid from each other, we could observe incessant change...&lt;br /&gt;We have here two aspects of a [[w:Fluid dynamics#Steady vs unsteady_flow|steady flow]], one of unchanging persistence, the other of incessant change. ...Heraclitus was called '''the &quot;Dark Philosopher&quot;'''; his views of human affairs were sombre and his sayings obscure. ...&lt;br /&gt;&quot;You cannot look twice at the same river; for fresh waters are ever flowing in.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;We look and do not look at the same rivers; we are, and we are not.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;What is the intended meaning of these sentences? I do not venture to find out. Yet I think that the originator of these senteces '''came pretty close to formulating the concept &quot;steady flow of a fluid.&quot;'''
** [[George Pólya]], ''Mathematical Methods in Science'' (1977)&lt;!--p.232--&gt;

* When... Heraclitus names the world an ever-living fire that... extinguishes itself and again kindles itself, when... all is exchanged for fire and fire for all... he can only understand by this that fire, this restless, all-consuming, all-transmuting, and equally (in heat) all-vivifying element, represents the constant force of this eternal alteration and transformation, the notion of life, in the most vivid and energetic manner. ...the means of which the power of motion that is precedent to all matter avails itself for the production of the living process of things. Heraclitus... explains the multiplicity of things... [fire] condenses itself into material elements, first air, then water, then earth. ...These two processes of extinction and ignition... alternate... in perpetual rotation with each other and... in stated periods the world resolves itself into the primal fire, in order to re-create itself out of it again. ...[F]ire is to him... the principle of movement, of physical as of spiritual vitality; the soul itself is a fiery vapour; its power and perfection depend on its being pure from all grosser and duller elements.
** {{w|Albert Schwegler}}, ''Handbook of the History of Philosophy'' (1868) [https://books.google.com/books?id=-KIZAAAAYAAJ&amp;pg=PA21 pp. 21-22.]

* '''The part I understand is excellent, and so too is, I dare say, the part I do not understand'''; but it needs a Delian diver to get to the bottom of it.
** [[Socrates]], when asked his opinion of Heraclitus's treatise, as quoted in [[Diogenes Laërtius]]'s ''Lives of Eminent Philosophers'' (ed. R. D. Hicks), Book II, Ch. 5, sec. 22.

* '''I cannot approve of Heraclitus''', who, being self-taught and arrogant, said, &quot;I have explored myself.&quot; Nor can I praise him for hiding his poem in the temple of Artemis, in order that it might be published afterwards as a mystery; and those who take an interest in such things say that Euripides the tragic poet came there and read it, and, gradually learning it by heart, carefully handed down to posterity this darkness of Heraclitus.
** [[Tatian]], Address to the Greek P. 7 Pratten translation

* If neither sub-atomic particles nor organic species exemplify the 'permanent entities' of [[w:Ancient Greek philosophy|Greek metaphysics]], what else in the real world does so? ...Two hundred years of historical research have had their effect. Whether we turn to social or intellectual history, evolutionary zoology, historical geology or astronomy—whether we consider explanatory theories or star-clusters, societies or cultures, languages or disciplines, organic species or the Earth itself—the verdict is not [[Parmenides|Parmenidean]] but Heraclitean. As we now understand it, nothing in the empirical world possesses the permanent unchanging identity which all Greek natural philosophers (the [[w:Epicureanism|Epicureans]] apart) presupposed in the ultimate elements of Nature. So, if we... are to entertain metaphysical thoughts about the nature of things-in-general consistent with the rest of our late-twentieth-century ideas, we must explore the consequences of the modern, [[w:Modern synthesis (20th century)|post-Darwinian]] or [[w:Population genetics|'populational' approach]], as applied not just to species, but to historical entities of all kinds. Confronted with the question, 'How do ''permanent'' entities preserve their identity through all their ''apparent'' changes?', we must simply deny the validity of the question itself. In its place, we must substitute the question, 'How do ''historical'' entities maintain their coherence and continuity, despite all the ''real'' changes they undergo?'&lt;!--pp. 355-356--&gt;
** {{w|Stephen Toulmin}}, ''Human Understanding'' (1972) Vol. 1 ''The Collective Use and Evolution of Concepts''.

== See also ==
* [[A History of Western Philosophy#Chapter IV. Heraclitus]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
{{wikisource|Fragments of Heraclitus}}
{{commonscat}}
* [http://www.iep.utm.edu/heraclit/ Heraclitus at the Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy]
* [http://www.heraclitusfragments.com/files/ge.html Fragments (original Greek text)]
* [http://philoctetes.free.fr/heraclitefraneng.htm Philoctetesː Fragments (original Greek text)]
* [http://philoctetes.free.fr/heraclitus.htm Fragments of Heraclitus] – parallel Greek with links to Perseus, French, and English
* [http://www.heraclitusfragments.com/ Heraclitus Fragments] in Greek (Unicode) and English
* [http://community.middlebury.edu/~harris/Philosophy/heraclitus.pdf ''Heraclitus: The Complete Fragments''], William Harris (translator), Greek and English (DK numbers) with commentary ([[w:PDF|PDF]] file)
* [http://www.ellopos.net/elpenor/greek-texts/ancient-greece/herakleitus-word.asp Heraclitus Bilingual Anthology (in Greek and English, side by side)]
* [http://www.philosophy.gr/presocratics/heraclitus.htm Heraclitus of Ephesus by Giannis Stamatellos]
{{Ancient Greek schools of philosophy}}</text>
      <sha1>cers3fvtgjfuhxtu1x1wmqwopwevlg8</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Claude Houghton</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>307555</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943949</id>
      <parentid>3943564</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T14:05:38Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Simon Peter Hughes</username>
        <id>327237</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* External links */ Inline templates.</comment>
      <origin>3943949</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1228" sha1="jwdnfn5gbnwax9e9am7bg3zi57bret0" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Claude Houghton|Claude Houghton Oldfield]]''' (May 1889 – 10 February 1961) was a British novelist and short story writer.

{{author-stub}}
== Quotes ==  
=== ''[[s:I Am Jonathan Scrivener|I Am Jonathan Scrivener]]'' (1930) ===
* It is interesting to sit in a room, knowing that at any moment the door may open and your solitude be disturbed by the entry of a total stranger. It destroys the sense of isolation usually experienced when you are at home.
** Chapter IV, page 53
* I've met a number of people who had endured agonies in their determination not to suffer.
** Chapter VI, page 116
* Most of us commit suicide, but the fact is only recognized if we blow our brains out. The most tragic suicide is never the dramatic one.
** Chapter XI, page 221
* The butterfly was putting up a gallant struggle, but nevertheless it was in the net.
** Chapter XII, page 235

== External links ==
*{{Wikipedia-inline}}
*{{Wikisource-inline|Author:Claude Houghton Oldfield}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Oldfield, Claude Houghton}}
[[Category:Novelists from England]]
[[Category:Short story writers from England]]
[[Category:Science fiction authors from England]]
[[Category:Fantasy authors]]
[[Category:1889 births]]
[[Category:1961 deaths]]</text>
      <sha1>jwdnfn5gbnwax9e9am7bg3zi57bret0</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Template:The Boys</title>
    <ns>10</ns>
    <id>307583</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943861</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:07:53Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Created page with &quot;&lt;noinclude&gt;{{italic title}}{{Wikipedia|Template:The Boys}}{{clear}}&lt;/noinclude&gt; {|style=&quot;margin:1em auto; width:500px;background-color:black;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122);&quot; |- |style=&quot;background:blue;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122);&quot; align=center valign=bottom colspan=2|'''&lt;span style=&quot;color:#ffffff;&quot;&gt;''The Boys'' franchise&lt;/span&gt;''' |- |style=&quot;background:#0000ff;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122);&quot; align=right|&lt;small&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#ffffff;&quot;&gt;'''&amp;nbs...&quot;</comment>
      <origin>3943861</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1643" sha1="818ncrf6jwczx218eas7h09tyn291fs" xml:space="preserve">&lt;noinclude&gt;{{italic title}}{{Wikipedia|Template:The Boys}}{{clear}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;
{|style=&quot;margin:1em auto; width:500px;background-color:black;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122);&quot;
|-
|style=&quot;background:blue;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122);&quot; align=center valign=bottom colspan=2|'''&lt;span style=&quot;color:#ffffff;&quot;&gt;''The Boys'' franchise&lt;/span&gt;'''
|-
|style=&quot;background:#0000ff;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122);&quot; align=right|&lt;small&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#ffffff;&quot;&gt;'''&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;TV Series&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/small&gt;
|style=&quot;background:#7b7b7b;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122);&quot;|&lt;small&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;span style=&quot;color:#211f13;&quot;&gt;''[[The Boys (TV series)|&lt;span style=&quot;color:white;&quot;&gt;The Boys&lt;/span&gt;]]'' TV Series &lt;small&gt;&amp;nbsp;([[The Boys (TV series)/Season 1|Season 1]] | [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 2|Season 2]] | [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 3|Season 3]] | [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 4|Season 4]] | [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 5|Season 5]])&lt;/small&gt; '''·''' ''[[Gen V|&lt;span style=&quot;color:white;&quot;&gt;Gen V&lt;/span&gt;]]'' &lt;small&gt;&amp;nbsp;(2023-2025)&lt;/small&gt; '''·''' ''[[The Boys Presents: Diabolical|&lt;span style=&quot;color:white;&quot;&gt;Diabolical&lt;/span&gt;]]'' &lt;small&gt;&amp;nbsp;(2022)&lt;/small&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/small&gt;
|-
|style=&quot;background:#0000ff;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122);&quot; align=right|&lt;small&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#ffffff;&quot;&gt;'''&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;Related&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/small&gt;
|style=&quot;background:#7b7b7b;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122);&quot;|&lt;small&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;span style=&quot;color:#211f13;&quot;&gt;[[Last words in The Boys films|&lt;span style=&quot;color:white;&quot;&gt; Last words in ''The Boys''&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/small&gt;
|}&lt;noinclude&gt;[[Category:Navigational templates]]&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>818ncrf6jwczx218eas7h09tyn291fs</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943871</id>
      <parentid>3943861</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:13:56Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943871</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1637" sha1="0nsxbwunilb9afn8e9apc8kyxmq4jbl" xml:space="preserve">&lt;noinclude&gt;{{italic title}}{{Wikipedia|Template:The Boys}}{{clear}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;
{|style=&quot;margin:1em auto; width:500px;background-color:black;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122);&quot;
|-
|style=&quot;background:blue;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122);&quot; align=center valign=bottom colspan=2|'''&lt;span style=&quot;color:#ffffff;&quot;&gt;''The Boys'' franchise&lt;/span&gt;'''
|-
|style=&quot;background:#0000ff;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122);&quot; align=right|&lt;small&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#ffffff;&quot;&gt;'''&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;TV Series&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/small&gt;
|style=&quot;background:#7b7b7b;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122);&quot;|&lt;small&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;span style=&quot;color:#211f13;&quot;&gt;''[[The Boys (TV series)|&lt;span style=&quot;color:white;&quot;&gt;The Boys&lt;/span&gt;]]'' TV Series &lt;small&gt;&amp;nbsp;([[The Boys (TV series)/Season 1|Season 1]] | [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 2|Season 2]] | [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 3|Season 3]] | [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 4|Season 4]] | [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 5|Season 5]])&lt;/small&gt; '''·''' ''[[Gen V|&lt;span style=&quot;color:white;&quot;&gt;Gen V&lt;/span&gt;]]'' &lt;small&gt;&amp;nbsp;(2023-2025)&lt;/small&gt; '''·''' ''[[The Boys Presents: Diabolical|&lt;span style=&quot;color:white;&quot;&gt;Diabolical&lt;/span&gt;]]'' &lt;small&gt;&amp;nbsp;(2022)&lt;/small&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/small&gt;
|-
|style=&quot;background:#0000ff;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122);&quot; align=right|&lt;small&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#ffffff;&quot;&gt;'''&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;Related&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/small&gt;
|style=&quot;background:#7b7b7b;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122);&quot;|&lt;small&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;span style=&quot;color:#211f13;&quot;&gt;[[Last words in The Boys|&lt;span style=&quot;color:white;&quot;&gt; Last words in ''The Boys''&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/small&gt;
|}&lt;noinclude&gt;[[Category:Navigational templates]]&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>0nsxbwunilb9afn8e9apc8kyxmq4jbl</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943872</id>
      <parentid>3943871</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:14:48Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Iago PUC</username>
        <id>2458636</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3943872</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1649" sha1="gfvtwtzf4gqwnevdasubr5tk0514v0o" xml:space="preserve">&lt;noinclude&gt;{{italic title}}{{Wikipedia|Template:The Boys}}{{clear}}&lt;/noinclude&gt;
{|style=&quot;margin:1em auto; width:500px;background-color:black;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122);&quot;
|-
|style=&quot;background:blue;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122);&quot; align=center valign=bottom colspan=2|'''&lt;span style=&quot;color:#ffffff;&quot;&gt;''The Boys'' franchise&lt;/span&gt;'''
|-
|style=&quot;background:#0000ff;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122);&quot; align=right|&lt;small&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#ffffff;&quot;&gt;'''&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;TV Series&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/small&gt;
|style=&quot;background:#7b7b7b;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122);&quot;|&lt;small&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;span style=&quot;color:#211f13;&quot;&gt;''[[The Boys (TV series)|&lt;span style=&quot;color:white;&quot;&gt;The Boys&lt;/span&gt;]]'' TV Series &lt;small&gt;&amp;nbsp;([[The Boys (TV series)/Season 1|Season 1]] | [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 2|Season 2]] | [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 3|Season 3]] | [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 4|Season 4]] | [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 5|Season 5]])&lt;/small&gt; '''·''' ''[[Gen V|&lt;span style=&quot;color:white;&quot;&gt;Gen V&lt;/span&gt;]]'' &lt;small&gt;&amp;nbsp;(2023-2025)&lt;/small&gt; '''·''' ''[[The Boys Presents: Diabolical|&lt;span style=&quot;color:white;&quot;&gt;Diabolical&lt;/span&gt;]]'' &lt;small&gt;&amp;nbsp;(2022)&lt;/small&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/small&gt;
|-
|style=&quot;background:#0000ff;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122);&quot; align=right|&lt;small&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color:#ffffff;&quot;&gt;'''&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;Related&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/small&gt;
|style=&quot;background:#7b7b7b;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122);&quot;|&lt;small&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;span style=&quot;color:#211f13;&quot;&gt;[[Last words in The Boys media|&lt;span style=&quot;color:white;&quot;&gt; Last words in ''The Boys'' media&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/small&gt;
|}&lt;noinclude&gt;[[Category:Navigational templates]]&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>gfvtwtzf4gqwnevdasubr5tk0514v0o</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Category:Women authors from Ethiopia</title>
    <ns>14</ns>
    <id>307584</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943905</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:43:19Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Created page with &quot;[[Category:Women from Ethiopia by occupation|Authors]] [[Category:Women authors by country|Ethiopia]] [[Category:Authors from Ethiopia]]&quot;</comment>
      <origin>3943905</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="136" sha1="hor99ynl5ohdkj0pz8amyms60r4t2go" xml:space="preserve">[[Category:Women from Ethiopia by occupation|Authors]]
[[Category:Women authors by country|Ethiopia]]
[[Category:Authors from Ethiopia]]</text>
      <sha1>hor99ynl5ohdkj0pz8amyms60r4t2go</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Category:Women from Ethiopia by occupation</title>
    <ns>14</ns>
    <id>307585</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943906</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:43:34Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Created page with &quot;[[Category:Women from Ethiopia| ]]&quot;</comment>
      <origin>3943906</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="34" sha1="p4ys4jc7zwuml7ue89mw8kfvhjq8ri5" xml:space="preserve">[[Category:Women from Ethiopia| ]]</text>
      <sha1>p4ys4jc7zwuml7ue89mw8kfvhjq8ri5</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Category:Educators from Ethiopia</title>
    <ns>14</ns>
    <id>307586</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943909</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:44:22Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Created page with &quot;[[Category:Educators by country|Ethiopia]] [[Category:People from Ethiopia by occupation]]&quot;</comment>
      <origin>3943909</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="90" sha1="agdoa3j2w08f9l0ka4i2kigcpuz6r76" xml:space="preserve">[[Category:Educators by country|Ethiopia]]
[[Category:People from Ethiopia by occupation]]</text>
      <sha1>agdoa3j2w08f9l0ka4i2kigcpuz6r76</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Category:Women authors from Morocco</title>
    <ns>14</ns>
    <id>307587</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943918</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:47:54Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Created page with &quot;[[Category:Women from Morocco by occupation|Authors]] [[Category:Women authors by country|Morocco]] [[Category:Authors from Morocco]]&quot;</comment>
      <origin>3943918</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="133" sha1="oopwy8h3cf1cu65so7n6vqwym9t8lyc" xml:space="preserve">[[Category:Women from Morocco by occupation|Authors]]
[[Category:Women authors by country|Morocco]]
[[Category:Authors from Morocco]]</text>
      <sha1>oopwy8h3cf1cu65so7n6vqwym9t8lyc</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Category:Women authors from Norway</title>
    <ns>14</ns>
    <id>307588</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943920</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:48:37Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Created page with &quot;[[Category:Women from Norway by occupation|Authors]] [[Category:Women authors by country|Norway]] [[Category:Authors from Norway]]&quot;</comment>
      <origin>3943920</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="130" sha1="nqkhg8zn3hin9izijyhatfs9qfoic0t" xml:space="preserve">[[Category:Women from Norway by occupation|Authors]]
[[Category:Women authors by country|Norway]]
[[Category:Authors from Norway]]</text>
      <sha1>nqkhg8zn3hin9izijyhatfs9qfoic0t</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Category:Women authors from Japan</title>
    <ns>14</ns>
    <id>307589</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943928</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:52:15Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Created page with &quot;[[Category:Women from Japan by occupation|Authors]] [[Category:Women authors by country|Japan]] [[Category:Authors from Japan]]&quot;</comment>
      <origin>3943928</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="127" sha1="nlnc93vhoziko9e9f8cspb8mjigpzmf" xml:space="preserve">[[Category:Women from Japan by occupation|Authors]]
[[Category:Women authors by country|Japan]]
[[Category:Authors from Japan]]</text>
      <sha1>nlnc93vhoziko9e9f8cspb8mjigpzmf</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Category:Women from Japan by occupation</title>
    <ns>14</ns>
    <id>307590</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943929</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:52:27Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Created page with &quot;[[Category:Women from Japan]]&quot;</comment>
      <origin>3943929</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="29" sha1="257avgjxtqyw2y0ngkz2pn3b0ykixen" xml:space="preserve">[[Category:Women from Japan]]</text>
      <sha1>257avgjxtqyw2y0ngkz2pn3b0ykixen</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3943933</id>
      <parentid>3943929</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:52:55Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>new key for [[Category:Women from Japan]]: &quot; &quot; using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <origin>3943933</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="31" sha1="dzjjd5w5au7vc7rzgskp2v32181klut" xml:space="preserve">[[Category:Women from Japan| ]]</text>
      <sha1>dzjjd5w5au7vc7rzgskp2v32181klut</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Category:Women authors from Uganda</title>
    <ns>14</ns>
    <id>307591</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943936</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T13:54:05Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>UDScott</username>
        <id>4304</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Created page with &quot;[[Category:Women from Uganda by occupation|Authors]] [[Category:Women authors by country|Uganda]] [[Category:Authors from Uganda]]&quot;</comment>
      <origin>3943936</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="130" sha1="q2ngwlvylonnlfjg952pw3s4xkst54r" xml:space="preserve">[[Category:Women from Uganda by occupation|Authors]]
[[Category:Women authors by country|Uganda]]
[[Category:Authors from Uganda]]</text>
      <sha1>q2ngwlvylonnlfjg952pw3s4xkst54r</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Warnakulasurya Wadumestrige Devasritha Valence Mendis</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>307596</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3943988</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T16:54:46Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Gilldragon</username>
        <id>2514030</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Created page with &quot;'''[[w:Warnakulasurya Wadumestrige Devasritha Valence Mendis|Warnakulasurya Wadumestrige Devasritha Valence Mendis]]''' (21 May 1958) is a Sri Lankan prelate of the Catholic Church.  == Quotes ==  * A word of consolation that comes from the Gospel is today for so many people who are scattered, depressed, disoriented and exhausted is of great importance; it heals the heart, because Jesus is a healer. ** [https://fides.org/en/news/74414-ASIA_SRI_LANKA_Bishop_of_Kandy_Our_C...&quot;</comment>
      <origin>3943988</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="882" sha1="9gfky6i4nv673g4by6776ewjs4se701" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Warnakulasurya Wadumestrige Devasritha Valence Mendis|Warnakulasurya Wadumestrige Devasritha Valence Mendis]]''' (21 May 1958) is a Sri Lankan prelate of the Catholic Church.

== Quotes ==

* A word of consolation that comes from the Gospel is today for so many people who are scattered, depressed, disoriented and exhausted is of great importance; it heals the heart, because Jesus is a healer.
** [https://fides.org/en/news/74414-ASIA_SRI_LANKA_Bishop_of_Kandy_Our_Catholics_are_poor_in_material_means_but_rich_in_faith Bishop of Kandy: &quot;Our Catholics are poor in material means but rich in faith&quot; (18 November 2023) ''Fides News Agency'']

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Mendis, Warnakulasurya Wadumestrige Devasritha Valence}}
[[Category:1958 births]]
[[Category:Catholics from Sri Lanka]]
[[Category:Roman Catholic bishops]]
[[Category:Living people]]</text>
      <sha1>9gfky6i4nv673g4by6776ewjs4se701</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Molesworth</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>307597</id>
    <redirect title="Nigel Molesworth" />
    <revision>
      <id>3943994</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T17:29:33Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>GrimRob</username>
        <id>1187925</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>GrimRob moved page [[Molesworth]] to [[Nigel Molesworth]] over redirect: matches WP name</comment>
      <origin>3943994</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="30" sha1="66mlm0uz393488fg7tfrcoqux9vgurw" xml:space="preserve">#REDIRECT [[Nigel Molesworth]]</text>
      <sha1>66mlm0uz393488fg7tfrcoqux9vgurw</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Mathew Carey Lea</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>307599</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944033</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T20:56:38Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Suslindisambiguator</username>
        <id>275269</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>created page with 2 quotes from M. Carey Lea &amp; 1 quote about him</comment>
      <origin>3944033</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="4130" sha1="tchavla337z0oid7ji9j675ux7xoiku" xml:space="preserve">{{w|Mathew Carey Lea|'''Mathew''' (or '''Matthew''') '''Carey Lea'''}} (published as '''M. Carey Lea'''; August 18, 1823 – March 15, 1897) was an American {{w|chemist}} and [https://findingaids.library.upenn.edu/records/SMREP_FI.28 pioneer of the chemistry of photography]. His 1868 book [https://books.google.com/books?id=m0SEEAAAQBAJ ''A Manual of Photography''] became a [https://www.sciencehistory.org/stories/magazine/matthew-carey-lea-and-the-origins-of-mechanochemistry/ standard reference]. Lea was elected in 1892 to the U.S. {{w|National Academy of Sciences}}.

==Quotes==
* At no time has the subject of the influences of chemical agents on [[plants]] received so much intelligent attention as at present, and the labors of {{w|Jean-Baptiste Boussingault|Boussingault}}, {{w|Wilhelm Knop|Knop}}, {{w|Friedrich Stohmann|Stohmann,}} {{w|Georges Ville|Ville}}, {{w|Julius von Sachs|Sachs}}, and many others, are daily adding to our stock of knowledge and developing new and interesting facts. The studies of these {{w|chemist}}s have, however, been directed almost entirely to the effects of the absence or presence in greater or less proportion in the [[soil]] of those {{w|Base (chemistry)|base}}s and {{w|acid}}s which are there commonly found.
** {{cite journal|title=Article XXXIV.—On the Influence of Ozone and some other Chemical Agents on Germination and Vegetation|journal=American Journal of Science|year=1864|volume=2|issue=111||pages=573–576}} (quote from p. 573)

* Much difference of opinion has long existed in respect to the explanation of certain {{w|Science of photography#Chemical processes|phenomena of photographic action}}. In the vast majority of cases the action of light is a reducing one. {{w|Salt (chemistry)|Salt}}s of [[iron]], of [[uranium]], and of other [[metal]]s are reduced from a higher to a lower stage of [[:wiktionary:oxydation|oxydation]], and the same is the case with the combinations of certain metallic {{w|acid}}s, such as [https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/1911_Encyclopædia_Britannica/Bichromates_and_Chromates bichromates] and {{w|tungstate}}s. These phenomena present no difficulty. It is only when we come to the [[silver]] [[:wiktionary:haloid|haloid]]s that obscurity commences.
** {{cite journal|year=1866|title=On the Nature of the Action of Light upon Iodid of Silver|journal=American Journal of Science|volume=2|issue=125|pages=198–205}} (quote from p. 198)

==Quotes about Matthew Carey Lea==
* [https://books.google.com/books?id=0bUvAQAAIAAJ&amp;pg=PA451 In 1896, shortly after the remarkable discovery of the Röntgen rays, Carey Lea made a series of very careful experiments to ascertain if these rays were detectable in sunlight.] ...&lt;br&gt;By far the most valuable as well as the most extended investigations of Carey Lea, however, were those which related to the {{w|Science of photography#Chemical processes|chemistry of photography}} in which at the time of his death he was the acknowledged authority. His researches were directed chiefly to the chemical and physical properties of the [[silver]] [[:wiktionary:haloid|haloid]] {{w|Salt (chemistry)|salt}}s, not only alone, but also in combination with each other and with various coloring matters, especially with reference to the action of light upon them under all these different conditions.
** {{w|George Frederick Barker}},  {{cite book|chapter=Biographical Memoir of Matthew Carey Lea 1823–1897, read before the U.S. National Academy of Sciences, April 21, 1903|title=Biographical Memoirs of the National Academy of Sciences, Vol. 5|year=1905|pages=155–208|chapter-url=https://www.nasonline.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/lea-matthew-c.pdf}} (quote from pp. 173–174)|

==External links==
* {{wikipedia-inline}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Lea, Mathew Carey}}
[[Category:1823 births]]
[[Category:1897 deaths]]
[[Category:Chemists from the United States]]
[[Category:Lawyers from the United States]]
[[Category:Members of the United States National Academy of Sciences]]
[[Category:People from Philadelphia]]
[[Category:Photographers from the United States]]
[[Category:Science authors from the United States]]</text>
      <sha1>tchavla337z0oid7ji9j675ux7xoiku</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Template:Protected page text/doc</title>
    <ns>10</ns>
    <id>307600</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944049</id>
      <timestamp>2026-03-08T21:44:13Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>w&gt;Oshwah</username>
        <id>0</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* Syntax */ Small section cleanup.</comment>
      <origin>3944049</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="6416" sha1="su6kn8ttph3g9j0367exq7ynwd87bsb" xml:space="preserve">{{Documentation subpage}}
{{used in system|in {{#switch:{{#titleparts:{{PAGENAME}}|1|2}}|interface=[[MediaWiki:Customcssprotected]] and [[MediaWiki:Customjsprotected]]|cascade=[[MediaWiki:Cascadeprotected]]|user-json=[[MediaWiki:Customjsonprotected]]|#default=[[MediaWiki:Protectedpagetext]]}}}}
{{Uses TemplateStyles|Template:Protected page text/styles.css}}

This template displays the text that users see when they do not have permission to edit a page. This template was created to encourage reuse of code in the MediaWiki messages that display said errors.

For convenience, there are seven subtemplates already filled out with the settings for semi-protection, extended-confirmed protection, template protection, full protection, cascade protection, user JSON page protection, and user script protection: {{tl|Protected page text/semi}}, {{tl|Protected page text/extendedconfirmed}}, {{tl|Protected page text/template}}, {{tl|Protected page text/full}}, {{tl|Protected page text/cascade}}, {{tl|Protected page text/user-json}} and {{tl|Protected page text/interface}}. It is recommended that you use these subtemplates, as this will allow you to benefit from future updates to the templates.
__TOC__

== Syntax ==

=== Pre-defined settings ===

*'''Semi-protection''': {{tl|protected page text/semi}}
*'''Extended confirmed protection''': {{tl|protected page text/extendedconfirmed}}
*'''Template protection''': {{tl|protected page text/template}}
*'''Full protection''': {{tl|protected page text/full}}
*'''Pages transcluded in cascade-protected pages''': {{tl|protected page text/cascade}}
*'''Protection of user JSON pages''': {{tl|protected page text/user-json}}
*'''Protection of user scripts''': {{tl|protected page text/interface}}

=== Manual settings ===

&lt;syntaxhighlight lang=&quot;wikitext&quot;&gt;
{{protected page text
| image = 
| protection-message = 
| suggestions = 
| protection-reason = 
| login-message = 
| main-page-links = 
| template-links = 
| who-can-edit = 
| request-type = 
}}
&lt;/syntaxhighlight&gt;

== Parameters ==

* {{para|image}} – The shackle image used in the top message box. Defaults to {{pval|Full-protection-shackle.svg}}.
* {{para|protection-message}} – The message inside the top message box. This should explain that the page is protected, and who can edit it. This parameter is required.
* {{para|suggestions}} – If this parameter is set with any text, the template shows the &quot;Why is the page protected?&quot; and &quot;What can I do?&quot; headings with a list of suggestions on what actions editors can take upon discovering that they can't edit the page. This parameter can be used with the [[mw:Help:Extension:ParserFunctions##ifexist|#ifexist parser function]] to display the suggestions only on existing pages (i.e. to disable them on [[WP:SALT|create-protected]] pages).
* {{para|protection-reason}} – The general reasons why pages of a given protection level might be protected. This is the first bullet point under the &quot;Why is the page protected?&quot; heading. This parameter is required.
* {{para|log-text}} – Optional text to use instead of the protection log explanation in the &quot;Why is the page protected?&quot; heading.
* {{para|login-message}} – If this parameter is set with any text, the template displays a message about logging in and becoming [[WP:AUTOCONFIRMED|autoconfirmed]].
* {{para|main-page-links}} – If this parameter is set with any text, and the current page is the [[Main Page]], the template displays advice for new editors and a link to [[Wikipedia:Main Page/Errors]].
* {{para|template-links}} – If this parameter is set with any text, and the current page is in the [[Wikipedia:Template namespace|template namespace]], the template will display links to the documentation and the template sandbox if they exist.
* {{para|who-can-edit}} – The users that can edit pages protected at this level. This should start with a capital letter and include a grammatical article, e.g. &lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;An [[Wikipedia:Administrator|administrator]]&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt;. This parameter is required.
* {{para|request-type}} – The value to send to the {{para|type}} parameter of [[Template:Submit an edit request]]. Possible values are {{pval|semi}}, {{pval|template}} and {{pval|full}}. This parameter is required.
* {{para|hide-requestlower}} – If this parameter is set with any text, the template will hide the message about requesting lowering of protection at [[WP:RFPP]]. This is unlikely to be used except for pages subject to [[WP:Cascade-protection|cascade-protection]] and which will have it indefinitely (requests to lower the protection on that particular page must necessarily be declined).

== Example ==

The following example uses the code for full protection.

=== Code ===

&lt;syntaxhighlight lang=&quot;wikitext&quot; style=&quot;white-space: pre-wrap;&quot;&gt;
{{protected page text
| protection-message = This page is currently [[Wikipedia:Protection policy#Full protection|protected]] so that only [[Wikipedia:Administrators|administrators]] can edit it.
| suggestions = {{#ifexist: {{FULLPAGENAME}} | yes}}
| protection-reason = Some [[Wikipedia:Template messages|templates]] and site interface pages are permanently [[Wikipedia:Protection policy#Full protection|protected]] due to visibility. Occasionally, articles are temporarily protected because of [[Wikipedia:Edit war|editing disputes]]. Most articles can be edited by anyone.
| main-page-links = yes
| template-links = yes
| who-can-edit = An [[Wikipedia:Administrators|administrator]]
| request-type = full
}}
&lt;/syntaxhighlight&gt;

=== Result ===

{{protected page text
| protection-message = This page is currently [[Wikipedia:Protection policy#Full protection|protected]] so that only [[Wikipedia:Administrators|administrators]] can edit it.
| suggestions = {{#ifexist: {{FULLPAGENAME}} | yes}}
| protection-reason = Some [[Wikipedia:Template messages|templates]] and site interface pages are permanently [[Wikipedia:Protection policy#Full protection|protected]] due to visibility. Occasionally, articles are temporarily protected because of [[Wikipedia:Edit war|editing disputes]]. Most articles can be edited by anyone.
| main-page-links = yes
| template-links = yes
| who-can-edit = An [[Wikipedia:Administrators|administrator]]
| request-type = full
}}

&lt;includeonly&gt;{{#ifeq:{{SUBPAGENAME}}|sandbox||
&lt;!-- Categories go here, and interwikis go in Wikidata --&gt;
[[Category:Protection templates]]
}}&lt;/includeonly&gt;</text>
      <sha1>su6kn8ttph3g9j0367exq7ynwd87bsb</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944050</id>
      <parentid>3944049</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T22:13:52Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Codename Noreste</username>
        <id>3154048</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>1 revision imported from [[:w:Template:Protected_page_text/doc]]</comment>
      <origin>3944049</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="6416" sha1="su6kn8ttph3g9j0367exq7ynwd87bsb" xml:space="preserve">{{Documentation subpage}}
{{used in system|in {{#switch:{{#titleparts:{{PAGENAME}}|1|2}}|interface=[[MediaWiki:Customcssprotected]] and [[MediaWiki:Customjsprotected]]|cascade=[[MediaWiki:Cascadeprotected]]|user-json=[[MediaWiki:Customjsonprotected]]|#default=[[MediaWiki:Protectedpagetext]]}}}}
{{Uses TemplateStyles|Template:Protected page text/styles.css}}

This template displays the text that users see when they do not have permission to edit a page. This template was created to encourage reuse of code in the MediaWiki messages that display said errors.

For convenience, there are seven subtemplates already filled out with the settings for semi-protection, extended-confirmed protection, template protection, full protection, cascade protection, user JSON page protection, and user script protection: {{tl|Protected page text/semi}}, {{tl|Protected page text/extendedconfirmed}}, {{tl|Protected page text/template}}, {{tl|Protected page text/full}}, {{tl|Protected page text/cascade}}, {{tl|Protected page text/user-json}} and {{tl|Protected page text/interface}}. It is recommended that you use these subtemplates, as this will allow you to benefit from future updates to the templates.
__TOC__

== Syntax ==

=== Pre-defined settings ===

*'''Semi-protection''': {{tl|protected page text/semi}}
*'''Extended confirmed protection''': {{tl|protected page text/extendedconfirmed}}
*'''Template protection''': {{tl|protected page text/template}}
*'''Full protection''': {{tl|protected page text/full}}
*'''Pages transcluded in cascade-protected pages''': {{tl|protected page text/cascade}}
*'''Protection of user JSON pages''': {{tl|protected page text/user-json}}
*'''Protection of user scripts''': {{tl|protected page text/interface}}

=== Manual settings ===

&lt;syntaxhighlight lang=&quot;wikitext&quot;&gt;
{{protected page text
| image = 
| protection-message = 
| suggestions = 
| protection-reason = 
| login-message = 
| main-page-links = 
| template-links = 
| who-can-edit = 
| request-type = 
}}
&lt;/syntaxhighlight&gt;

== Parameters ==

* {{para|image}} – The shackle image used in the top message box. Defaults to {{pval|Full-protection-shackle.svg}}.
* {{para|protection-message}} – The message inside the top message box. This should explain that the page is protected, and who can edit it. This parameter is required.
* {{para|suggestions}} – If this parameter is set with any text, the template shows the &quot;Why is the page protected?&quot; and &quot;What can I do?&quot; headings with a list of suggestions on what actions editors can take upon discovering that they can't edit the page. This parameter can be used with the [[mw:Help:Extension:ParserFunctions##ifexist|#ifexist parser function]] to display the suggestions only on existing pages (i.e. to disable them on [[WP:SALT|create-protected]] pages).
* {{para|protection-reason}} – The general reasons why pages of a given protection level might be protected. This is the first bullet point under the &quot;Why is the page protected?&quot; heading. This parameter is required.
* {{para|log-text}} – Optional text to use instead of the protection log explanation in the &quot;Why is the page protected?&quot; heading.
* {{para|login-message}} – If this parameter is set with any text, the template displays a message about logging in and becoming [[WP:AUTOCONFIRMED|autoconfirmed]].
* {{para|main-page-links}} – If this parameter is set with any text, and the current page is the [[Main Page]], the template displays advice for new editors and a link to [[Wikipedia:Main Page/Errors]].
* {{para|template-links}} – If this parameter is set with any text, and the current page is in the [[Wikipedia:Template namespace|template namespace]], the template will display links to the documentation and the template sandbox if they exist.
* {{para|who-can-edit}} – The users that can edit pages protected at this level. This should start with a capital letter and include a grammatical article, e.g. &lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;An [[Wikipedia:Administrator|administrator]]&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt;. This parameter is required.
* {{para|request-type}} – The value to send to the {{para|type}} parameter of [[Template:Submit an edit request]]. Possible values are {{pval|semi}}, {{pval|template}} and {{pval|full}}. This parameter is required.
* {{para|hide-requestlower}} – If this parameter is set with any text, the template will hide the message about requesting lowering of protection at [[WP:RFPP]]. This is unlikely to be used except for pages subject to [[WP:Cascade-protection|cascade-protection]] and which will have it indefinitely (requests to lower the protection on that particular page must necessarily be declined).

== Example ==

The following example uses the code for full protection.

=== Code ===

&lt;syntaxhighlight lang=&quot;wikitext&quot; style=&quot;white-space: pre-wrap;&quot;&gt;
{{protected page text
| protection-message = This page is currently [[Wikipedia:Protection policy#Full protection|protected]] so that only [[Wikipedia:Administrators|administrators]] can edit it.
| suggestions = {{#ifexist: {{FULLPAGENAME}} | yes}}
| protection-reason = Some [[Wikipedia:Template messages|templates]] and site interface pages are permanently [[Wikipedia:Protection policy#Full protection|protected]] due to visibility. Occasionally, articles are temporarily protected because of [[Wikipedia:Edit war|editing disputes]]. Most articles can be edited by anyone.
| main-page-links = yes
| template-links = yes
| who-can-edit = An [[Wikipedia:Administrators|administrator]]
| request-type = full
}}
&lt;/syntaxhighlight&gt;

=== Result ===

{{protected page text
| protection-message = This page is currently [[Wikipedia:Protection policy#Full protection|protected]] so that only [[Wikipedia:Administrators|administrators]] can edit it.
| suggestions = {{#ifexist: {{FULLPAGENAME}} | yes}}
| protection-reason = Some [[Wikipedia:Template messages|templates]] and site interface pages are permanently [[Wikipedia:Protection policy#Full protection|protected]] due to visibility. Occasionally, articles are temporarily protected because of [[Wikipedia:Edit war|editing disputes]]. Most articles can be edited by anyone.
| main-page-links = yes
| template-links = yes
| who-can-edit = An [[Wikipedia:Administrators|administrator]]
| request-type = full
}}

&lt;includeonly&gt;{{#ifeq:{{SUBPAGENAME}}|sandbox||
&lt;!-- Categories go here, and interwikis go in Wikidata --&gt;
[[Category:Protection templates]]
}}&lt;/includeonly&gt;</text>
      <sha1>su6kn8ttph3g9j0367exq7ynwd87bsb</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944056</id>
      <parentid>3944050</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T22:24:20Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Codename Noreste</username>
        <id>3154048</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Adjusting.</comment>
      <origin>3944056</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="6285" sha1="khsijms5qsgwzc3rlui8be5s7sp1tkw" xml:space="preserve">{{Documentation subpage}}
{{used in system|in {{#switch:{{#titleparts:{{PAGENAME}}|1|2}}|interface=[[MediaWiki:Customcssprotected]] and [[MediaWiki:Customjsprotected]]|cascade=[[MediaWiki:Cascadeprotected]]|user-json=[[MediaWiki:Customjsonprotected]]|#default=[[MediaWiki:Protectedpagetext]]}}}}
{{Uses TemplateStyles|Template:Protected page text/styles.css}}

This template displays the text that users see when they do not have permission to edit a page. This template was created to encourage reuse of code in the MediaWiki messages that display said errors.

For convenience, there are seven subtemplates already filled out with the settings for semi-protection, autopatroller protection, full protection, cascade protection, user JSON page protection, and user script protection: {{tl|Protected page text/semi}}, {{tl|Protected page text/autopatrol}}, {{tl|Protected page text/full}}, {{tl|Protected page text/cascade}}, {{tl|Protected page text/user-json}} and {{tl|Protected page text/interface}}. It is recommended that you use these subtemplates, as this will allow you to benefit from future updates to the templates.
__TOC__

== Syntax ==

=== Pre-defined settings ===

*'''Semi-protection''': {{tl|protected page text/semi}}
*'''Autopatroller protection''': {{tl|protected page text/autopatroller}}
*'''Full protection''': {{tl|protected page text/full}}
*'''Pages transcluded in cascade-protected pages''': {{tl|protected page text/cascade}}
*'''Protection of user JSON pages''': {{tl|protected page text/user-json}}
*'''Protection of user scripts''': {{tl|protected page text/interface}}

=== Manual settings ===

&lt;syntaxhighlight lang=&quot;wikitext&quot;&gt;
{{protected page text
| image = 
| protection-message = 
| suggestions = 
| protection-reason = 
| login-message = 
| main-page-links = 
| template-links = 
| who-can-edit = 
| request-type = 
}}
&lt;/syntaxhighlight&gt;

== Parameters ==

* {{para|image}} – The shackle image used in the top message box. Defaults to {{pval|Full-protection-shackle.svg}}.
* {{para|protection-message}} – The message inside the top message box. This should explain that the page is protected, and who can edit it. This parameter is required.
* {{para|suggestions}} – If this parameter is set with any text, the template shows the &quot;Why is the page protected?&quot; and &quot;What can I do?&quot; headings with a list of suggestions on what actions editors can take upon discovering that they can't edit the page. This parameter can be used with the [[mw:Help:Extension:ParserFunctions##ifexist|#ifexist parser function]] to display the suggestions only on existing pages (i.e. to disable them on [[Wikiquote:Protected titles|create-protected]] pages).
* {{para|protection-reason}} – The general reasons why pages of a given protection level might be protected. This is the first bullet point under the &quot;Why is the page protected?&quot; heading. This parameter is required.
* {{para|log-text}} – Optional text to use instead of the protection log explanation in the &quot;Why is the page protected?&quot; heading.
* {{para|login-message}} – If this parameter is set with any text, the template displays a message about logging in and becoming [[Wikiquote:Autoconfirmed users|autoconfirmed]].
* {{para|main-page-links}} – If this parameter is set with any text, and the current page is the [[Main Page]], the template displays advice for new editors and a link to [[Talk:Main Page]].
* {{para|template-links}} – If this parameter is set with any text, and the current page is in the template namespace, the template will display links to the documentation and the template sandbox if they exist.
* {{para|who-can-edit}} – The users that can edit pages protected at this level. This should start with a capital letter and include a grammatical article, e.g. &lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;An [[Wikiquote:Administrator|administrator]]&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt;. This parameter is required.
* {{para|request-type}} – The value to send to the {{para|type}} parameter of [[Template:Submit an edit request]]. Possible values are {{pval|semi}}, {{pval|autopatrol}} and {{pval|full}}. This parameter is required.
* {{para|hide-requestlower}} – If this parameter is set with any text, the template will hide the message about requesting lowering of protection at [[WQ:AN]]. This is unlikely to be used except for pages subject to [[Wikiquote:Protection policy#Cascading protection|cascade-protection]] and which will have it indefinitely (requests to lower the protection on that particular page must necessarily be declined).

== Example ==

The following example uses the code for full protection.

=== Code ===

&lt;syntaxhighlight lang=&quot;wikitext&quot; style=&quot;white-space: pre-wrap;&quot;&gt;
{{protected page text
| protection-message = This page is currently [[Wikiquote:Protection policy|protected]] so that only [[Wikiquote:Administrators|administrators]] can {{{2}}} it.
| suggestions = {{#ifexist: {{FULLPAGENAME}} | yes}}
| protection-reason = Some [[Wikiquote:Template messages|templates]] and site interface pages are permanently [[Wikiquote:Protection policy|protected]] due to visibility. Occasionally, articles are temporarily protected because of editing disputes. Most articles can be edited by anyone.
| main-page-links = yes
| template-links = yes
| who-can-edit = An [[Wikiquote:Administrators|administrator]]
| request-type = {{#if:{{yesno|{{{manual-editrequest|}}}}}|manual|full}}
}}
&lt;/syntaxhighlight&gt;

=== Result ===

{{protected page text
| protection-message = This page is currently [[Wikiquote:Protection policy|protected]] so that only [[Wikiquote:Administrators|administrators]] can {{{2}}} it.
| suggestions = {{#ifexist: {{FULLPAGENAME}} | yes}}
| protection-reason = Some [[Wikiquote:Template messages|templates]] and site interface pages are permanently [[Wikiquote:Protection policy|protected]] due to visibility. Occasionally, articles are temporarily protected because of editing disputes. Most articles can be edited by anyone.
| main-page-links = yes
| template-links = yes
| who-can-edit = An [[Wikiquote:Administrators|administrator]]
| request-type = {{#if:{{yesno|{{{manual-editrequest|}}}}}|manual|full}}
}}

&lt;includeonly&gt;{{#ifeq:{{SUBPAGENAME}}|sandbox||
&lt;!-- Categories go here, and interwikis go in Wikidata --&gt;
[[Category:Protection templates]]
}}&lt;/includeonly&gt;</text>
      <sha1>khsijms5qsgwzc3rlui8be5s7sp1tkw</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944057</id>
      <parentid>3944056</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T22:26:14Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Codename Noreste</username>
        <id>3154048</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>/* Pre-defined settings */ Fix. (using [[wikt:MediaWiki:Gadget-AjaxEdit.js|AjaxEdit]])</comment>
      <origin>3944057</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="6282" sha1="82sbpoz0utsifwhvglop0ccnlzqco29" xml:space="preserve">{{Documentation subpage}}
{{used in system|in {{#switch:{{#titleparts:{{PAGENAME}}|1|2}}|interface=[[MediaWiki:Customcssprotected]] and [[MediaWiki:Customjsprotected]]|cascade=[[MediaWiki:Cascadeprotected]]|user-json=[[MediaWiki:Customjsonprotected]]|#default=[[MediaWiki:Protectedpagetext]]}}}}
{{Uses TemplateStyles|Template:Protected page text/styles.css}}

This template displays the text that users see when they do not have permission to edit a page. This template was created to encourage reuse of code in the MediaWiki messages that display said errors.

For convenience, there are seven subtemplates already filled out with the settings for semi-protection, autopatroller protection, full protection, cascade protection, user JSON page protection, and user script protection: {{tl|Protected page text/semi}}, {{tl|Protected page text/autopatrol}}, {{tl|Protected page text/full}}, {{tl|Protected page text/cascade}}, {{tl|Protected page text/user-json}} and {{tl|Protected page text/interface}}. It is recommended that you use these subtemplates, as this will allow you to benefit from future updates to the templates.
__TOC__

== Syntax ==

=== Pre-defined settings ===

*'''Semi-protection''': {{tl|protected page text/semi}}
*'''Autopatroller protection''': {{tl|protected page text/autopatrol}}
*'''Full protection''': {{tl|protected page text/full}}
*'''Pages transcluded in cascade-protected pages''': {{tl|protected page text/cascade}}
*'''Protection of user JSON pages''': {{tl|protected page text/user-json}}
*'''Protection of user scripts''': {{tl|protected page text/interface}}

=== Manual settings ===

&lt;syntaxhighlight lang=&quot;wikitext&quot;&gt;
{{protected page text
| image = 
| protection-message = 
| suggestions = 
| protection-reason = 
| login-message = 
| main-page-links = 
| template-links = 
| who-can-edit = 
| request-type = 
}}
&lt;/syntaxhighlight&gt;

== Parameters ==

* {{para|image}} – The shackle image used in the top message box. Defaults to {{pval|Full-protection-shackle.svg}}.
* {{para|protection-message}} – The message inside the top message box. This should explain that the page is protected, and who can edit it. This parameter is required.
* {{para|suggestions}} – If this parameter is set with any text, the template shows the &quot;Why is the page protected?&quot; and &quot;What can I do?&quot; headings with a list of suggestions on what actions editors can take upon discovering that they can't edit the page. This parameter can be used with the [[mw:Help:Extension:ParserFunctions##ifexist|#ifexist parser function]] to display the suggestions only on existing pages (i.e. to disable them on [[Wikiquote:Protected titles|create-protected]] pages).
* {{para|protection-reason}} – The general reasons why pages of a given protection level might be protected. This is the first bullet point under the &quot;Why is the page protected?&quot; heading. This parameter is required.
* {{para|log-text}} – Optional text to use instead of the protection log explanation in the &quot;Why is the page protected?&quot; heading.
* {{para|login-message}} – If this parameter is set with any text, the template displays a message about logging in and becoming [[Wikiquote:Autoconfirmed users|autoconfirmed]].
* {{para|main-page-links}} – If this parameter is set with any text, and the current page is the [[Main Page]], the template displays advice for new editors and a link to [[Talk:Main Page]].
* {{para|template-links}} – If this parameter is set with any text, and the current page is in the template namespace, the template will display links to the documentation and the template sandbox if they exist.
* {{para|who-can-edit}} – The users that can edit pages protected at this level. This should start with a capital letter and include a grammatical article, e.g. &lt;code&gt;&lt;nowiki&gt;An [[Wikiquote:Administrator|administrator]]&lt;/nowiki&gt;&lt;/code&gt;. This parameter is required.
* {{para|request-type}} – The value to send to the {{para|type}} parameter of [[Template:Submit an edit request]]. Possible values are {{pval|semi}}, {{pval|autopatrol}} and {{pval|full}}. This parameter is required.
* {{para|hide-requestlower}} – If this parameter is set with any text, the template will hide the message about requesting lowering of protection at [[WQ:AN]]. This is unlikely to be used except for pages subject to [[Wikiquote:Protection policy#Cascading protection|cascade-protection]] and which will have it indefinitely (requests to lower the protection on that particular page must necessarily be declined).

== Example ==

The following example uses the code for full protection.

=== Code ===

&lt;syntaxhighlight lang=&quot;wikitext&quot; style=&quot;white-space: pre-wrap;&quot;&gt;
{{protected page text
| protection-message = This page is currently [[Wikiquote:Protection policy|protected]] so that only [[Wikiquote:Administrators|administrators]] can {{{2}}} it.
| suggestions = {{#ifexist: {{FULLPAGENAME}} | yes}}
| protection-reason = Some [[Wikiquote:Template messages|templates]] and site interface pages are permanently [[Wikiquote:Protection policy|protected]] due to visibility. Occasionally, articles are temporarily protected because of editing disputes. Most articles can be edited by anyone.
| main-page-links = yes
| template-links = yes
| who-can-edit = An [[Wikiquote:Administrators|administrator]]
| request-type = {{#if:{{yesno|{{{manual-editrequest|}}}}}|manual|full}}
}}
&lt;/syntaxhighlight&gt;

=== Result ===

{{protected page text
| protection-message = This page is currently [[Wikiquote:Protection policy|protected]] so that only [[Wikiquote:Administrators|administrators]] can {{{2}}} it.
| suggestions = {{#ifexist: {{FULLPAGENAME}} | yes}}
| protection-reason = Some [[Wikiquote:Template messages|templates]] and site interface pages are permanently [[Wikiquote:Protection policy|protected]] due to visibility. Occasionally, articles are temporarily protected because of editing disputes. Most articles can be edited by anyone.
| main-page-links = yes
| template-links = yes
| who-can-edit = An [[Wikiquote:Administrators|administrator]]
| request-type = {{#if:{{yesno|{{{manual-editrequest|}}}}}|manual|full}}
}}

&lt;includeonly&gt;{{#ifeq:{{SUBPAGENAME}}|sandbox||
&lt;!-- Categories go here, and interwikis go in Wikidata --&gt;
[[Category:Protection templates]]
}}&lt;/includeonly&gt;</text>
      <sha1>82sbpoz0utsifwhvglop0ccnlzqco29</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Template:Protected page text/full/doc</title>
    <ns>10</ns>
    <id>307601</id>
    <redirect title="Template:Protected page text/doc" />
    <revision>
      <id>3944059</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T22:41:26Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Codename Noreste</username>
        <id>3154048</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* top */ Creating documentation page using [[Project:AWB|AWB]]</comment>
      <origin>3944059</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="45" sha1="0t1go0ba7l66ecznn02vqevdow0i5xq" xml:space="preserve">#REDIRECT[[Template:Protected page text/doc]]</text>
      <sha1>0t1go0ba7l66ecznn02vqevdow0i5xq</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Template:Protected page text/autopatrol/doc</title>
    <ns>10</ns>
    <id>307602</id>
    <redirect title="Template:Protected page text/doc" />
    <revision>
      <id>3944060</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T22:41:27Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Codename Noreste</username>
        <id>3154048</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* top */ Creating documentation page using [[Project:AWB|AWB]]</comment>
      <origin>3944060</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="45" sha1="0t1go0ba7l66ecznn02vqevdow0i5xq" xml:space="preserve">#REDIRECT[[Template:Protected page text/doc]]</text>
      <sha1>0t1go0ba7l66ecznn02vqevdow0i5xq</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Template:Protected page text/semi/doc</title>
    <ns>10</ns>
    <id>307603</id>
    <redirect title="Template:Protected page text/doc" />
    <revision>
      <id>3944061</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T22:41:28Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Codename Noreste</username>
        <id>3154048</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* top */ Creating documentation page using [[Project:AWB|AWB]]</comment>
      <origin>3944061</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="45" sha1="0t1go0ba7l66ecznn02vqevdow0i5xq" xml:space="preserve">#REDIRECT[[Template:Protected page text/doc]]</text>
      <sha1>0t1go0ba7l66ecznn02vqevdow0i5xq</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Template:Protected page text/cascade/doc</title>
    <ns>10</ns>
    <id>307604</id>
    <redirect title="Template:Protected page text/doc" />
    <revision>
      <id>3944062</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T22:41:29Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Codename Noreste</username>
        <id>3154048</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* top */ Creating documentation page using [[Project:AWB|AWB]]</comment>
      <origin>3944062</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="45" sha1="0t1go0ba7l66ecznn02vqevdow0i5xq" xml:space="preserve">#REDIRECT[[Template:Protected page text/doc]]</text>
      <sha1>0t1go0ba7l66ecznn02vqevdow0i5xq</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Template:Protected page text/interface/doc</title>
    <ns>10</ns>
    <id>307605</id>
    <redirect title="Template:Protected page text/doc" />
    <revision>
      <id>3944063</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T22:41:30Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Codename Noreste</username>
        <id>3154048</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* top */ Creating documentation page using [[Project:AWB|AWB]]</comment>
      <origin>3944063</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="45" sha1="0t1go0ba7l66ecznn02vqevdow0i5xq" xml:space="preserve">#REDIRECT[[Template:Protected page text/doc]]</text>
      <sha1>0t1go0ba7l66ecznn02vqevdow0i5xq</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Template:Protected page text/user-json/doc</title>
    <ns>10</ns>
    <id>307606</id>
    <redirect title="Template:Protected page text/doc" />
    <revision>
      <id>3944064</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T22:41:30Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Codename Noreste</username>
        <id>3154048</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* top */ Creating documentation page using [[Project:AWB|AWB]]</comment>
      <origin>3944064</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="45" sha1="0t1go0ba7l66ecznn02vqevdow0i5xq" xml:space="preserve">#REDIRECT[[Template:Protected page text/doc]]</text>
      <sha1>0t1go0ba7l66ecznn02vqevdow0i5xq</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Template:Param value</title>
    <ns>10</ns>
    <id>307607</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944065</id>
      <timestamp>2025-12-08T18:41:13Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>w&gt;Pigsonthewing</username>
        <id>0</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>sync from sandbox per request</comment>
      <origin>3944065</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="687" sha1="oyd3jpyy59x812wn9xbrqm63nh7f7d7" xml:space="preserve">&lt;templatestyles src=&quot;Template:Param value/styles.css&quot;/&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;tpl-pval__wrapper&quot;&gt;&lt;code class=&quot;tpl-pval__code&quot; style=&quot;{{#if:{{{border|{{{b|}}}}}}|border:{{{border|{{{b|}}}}}};}} {{#if:{{{bg-color|}}}|background-color: {{{bg-color}}}; color: {{Greater color contrast ratio|{{{bg-color}}}}};}} {{#if:{{{bg|}}}|color: {{Greater color contrast ratio|{{{bg}}}}};}} {{#ifexpr:{{str len|{{{1|}}}}} &gt; 25|white-space: wrap;|}} {{{style|}}}&quot;&gt;{{replace|{{replace|{{replace|{{replace|{{replace|&lt;includeonly&gt;⊗ϑ{{{1|}}}⊗ϑ&lt;/includeonly&gt;&lt;noinclude&gt;value&lt;/noinclude&gt;| |{{{space|{{{sp|&amp;nbsp;}}}}}}}}|#|&amp;#35;}}|*|&amp;#42;}}|:|&amp;#58;}}|⊗ϑ|}}&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;noinclude&gt;
{{Documentation}}
&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>oyd3jpyy59x812wn9xbrqm63nh7f7d7</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944066</id>
      <parentid>3944065</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T22:42:50Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Codename Noreste</username>
        <id>3154048</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>1 revision imported from [[:w:Template:Param_value]]</comment>
      <origin>3944065</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="687" sha1="oyd3jpyy59x812wn9xbrqm63nh7f7d7" xml:space="preserve">&lt;templatestyles src=&quot;Template:Param value/styles.css&quot;/&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;tpl-pval__wrapper&quot;&gt;&lt;code class=&quot;tpl-pval__code&quot; style=&quot;{{#if:{{{border|{{{b|}}}}}}|border:{{{border|{{{b|}}}}}};}} {{#if:{{{bg-color|}}}|background-color: {{{bg-color}}}; color: {{Greater color contrast ratio|{{{bg-color}}}}};}} {{#if:{{{bg|}}}|color: {{Greater color contrast ratio|{{{bg}}}}};}} {{#ifexpr:{{str len|{{{1|}}}}} &gt; 25|white-space: wrap;|}} {{{style|}}}&quot;&gt;{{replace|{{replace|{{replace|{{replace|{{replace|&lt;includeonly&gt;⊗ϑ{{{1|}}}⊗ϑ&lt;/includeonly&gt;&lt;noinclude&gt;value&lt;/noinclude&gt;| |{{{space|{{{sp|&amp;nbsp;}}}}}}}}|#|&amp;#35;}}|*|&amp;#42;}}|:|&amp;#58;}}|⊗ϑ|}}&lt;/code&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;noinclude&gt;
{{Documentation}}
&lt;/noinclude&gt;</text>
      <sha1>oyd3jpyy59x812wn9xbrqm63nh7f7d7</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Template:Pval</title>
    <ns>10</ns>
    <id>307608</id>
    <redirect title="Template:Param value" />
    <revision>
      <id>3944067</id>
      <timestamp>2024-08-25T12:16:24Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>w&gt;Warudo</username>
        <id>0</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>+rcat</comment>
      <origin>3944067</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="67" sha1="brfkzkf9futzxnw5ien0erejft2lgre" xml:space="preserve">#REDIRECT [[Template:Param value]]

{{Rcat shell|
{{R shortcut}}
}}</text>
      <sha1>brfkzkf9futzxnw5ien0erejft2lgre</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944068</id>
      <parentid>3944067</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T22:42:54Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Codename Noreste</username>
        <id>3154048</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>1 revision imported from [[:w:Template:Pval]]</comment>
      <origin>3944067</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="67" sha1="brfkzkf9futzxnw5ien0erejft2lgre" xml:space="preserve">#REDIRECT [[Template:Param value]]

{{Rcat shell|
{{R shortcut}}
}}</text>
      <sha1>brfkzkf9futzxnw5ien0erejft2lgre</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Template:Param value/styles.css</title>
    <ns>10</ns>
    <id>307609</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944069</id>
      <timestamp>2025-12-11T19:07:18Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>w&gt;Pppery</username>
        <id>0</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* {{pp-template}} */</comment>
      <origin>3944069</origin>
      <model>sanitized-css</model>
      <format>text/css</format>
      <text bytes="183" sha1="fqg9qh88nnemm62ynyo3np3cozsa2f2" xml:space="preserve">/* {{pp-template}} */
.tpl-pval__code {
	border: thin solid var(--border-color-base, #a2a9b1);
	background-color: var(--color-inverted, #fff);
	color: inherit;
	white-space: nowrap;
}</text>
      <sha1>fqg9qh88nnemm62ynyo3np3cozsa2f2</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944070</id>
      <parentid>3944069</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T22:44:12Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Codename Noreste</username>
        <id>3154048</id>
      </contributor>
      <minor />
      <comment>1 revision imported from [[:w:Template:Param_value/styles.css]]</comment>
      <origin>3944069</origin>
      <model>sanitized-css</model>
      <format>text/css</format>
      <text bytes="183" sha1="fqg9qh88nnemm62ynyo3np3cozsa2f2" xml:space="preserve">/* {{pp-template}} */
.tpl-pval__code {
	border: thin solid var(--border-color-base, #a2a9b1);
	background-color: var(--color-inverted, #fff);
	color: inherit;
	white-space: nowrap;
}</text>
      <sha1>fqg9qh88nnemm62ynyo3np3cozsa2f2</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Eugène de Mazenod</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>307610</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944077</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T22:59:16Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Gilldragon</username>
        <id>2514030</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Created page with &quot;'''[[w:Eugène de Mazenod|]]''' (1 August 1782 – 21 May 1861) was a French prelate of the Catholic Church who served as the archbishop of the [[w:Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Marseille|Archdiocese of Marseille]].  == Quotes about Eugène de Mazenod ==  *He watched with a jealous eye over the education of youth, and, in spite of the susceptibilities of the civil power, he never swerved from what he considered the path of justice. In fact, by the apostolic freedom of hi...&quot;</comment>
      <origin>3944077</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="987" sha1="k4c5zjx9cof6rs8vtbqz48ahbaf76f0" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Eugène de Mazenod|Eugène de Mazenod]]''' (1 August 1782 – 21 May 1861) was a French prelate of the Catholic Church who served as the archbishop of the [[w:Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Marseille|Archdiocese of Marseille]].

== Quotes about Eugène de Mazenod ==

*He watched with a jealous eye over the education of youth, and, in spite of the susceptibilities of the civil power, he never swerved from what he considered the path of justice. In fact, by the apostolic freedom of his public utterances he deserved to be compared to St. Ambrose.
** [[Adrien-Gabriel Morice]], [[s:Catholic Encyclopedia (1913)/Charles Joseph Eugene de Mazenod|Charles Joseph Eugene de Mazenod (1913) ''Catholic Encyclopedia'']]

== External links ==
{{Wikipedia}}
{{commonscat}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Mazenod, Eugène de}}
[[Category:1782 births]]
[[Category:Catholics from France]]
[[Category:Clergy from France]]
[[Category:Roman Catholic archbishops]]
[[Category:Cardinals]]
[[Category:1861 deaths]]</text>
      <sha1>k4c5zjx9cof6rs8vtbqz48ahbaf76f0</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Wikiquote:Quote of the day/May 22, 2026</title>
    <ns>4</ns>
    <id>307611</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944091</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T23:59:32Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Created page with &quot;{{Wikiquote:Quote of the day/Template | image1 = Ice Dhaulagiri - panoramio.jpg | image1px = 210px | image2 = Person treks Dhaulagiri Mountain (Unsplash).jpg | image2px = 385px | quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt;Every [[moment]] of [[life]] is to be lived [[calmly]], mindfully, as if it were the last, to insure that the most is made of the precious [[human]] state — the only one in which [[enlightenment]] is possible. And only the enlightened can recall their former lives; f...&quot;</comment>
      <origin>3944091</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="777" sha1="o99xijfp494nv8zm86l5zj9vmuye144" xml:space="preserve">{{Wikiquote:Quote of the day/Template
| image1 = Ice Dhaulagiri - panoramio.jpg
| image1px = 210px
| image2 = Person treks Dhaulagiri Mountain (Unsplash).jpg
| image2px = 385px
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt;Every [[moment]] of [[life]] is to be lived [[calmly]], mindfully, as if it were the last, to insure that the most is made of the precious [[human]] state — the only one in which [[enlightenment]] is possible. And only the enlightened can recall their former lives; for the rest of us, the [[memories]] of [[past]] [[existences]] are but glints of [[light]], twinges of [[longing]], passing [[shadows]], disturbingly familiar, that are gone before they can be grasped, like the passage of that silver bird on [[w:Dhaulagiri|Dhaulagiri]].
| author = Peter Matthiessen
}}</text>
      <sha1>o99xijfp494nv8zm86l5zj9vmuye144</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944097</id>
      <parentid>3944091</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T00:06:44Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944097</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="781" sha1="c4339eznc6p27lam64m0pu7qta6b9tz" xml:space="preserve">{{Wikiquote:Quote of the day/Template
| image1 = Ice Dhaulagiri - panoramio.jpg
| image1px = 210px
| image2 = Person treks Dhaulagiri Mountain (Unsplash).jpg
| image2px = 385px
| quote = &lt;!-- ⨀ &lt;br /&gt; --&gt;Every [[moment]] of [[life]] is to be lived [[calmly]], [[mindfully]], as if it were the last, to insure that the most is made of the precious [[human]] state — the only one in which [[enlightenment]] is possible. And only the enlightened can recall their former lives; for the rest of us, the [[memories]] of [[past]] [[existences]] are but glints of [[light]], twinges of [[longing]], passing [[shadows]], disturbingly familiar, that are gone before they can be grasped, like the passage of that silver bird on [[w:Dhaulagiri|Dhaulagiri]].
| author = Peter Matthiessen
}}</text>
      <sha1>c4339eznc6p27lam64m0pu7qta6b9tz</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Existences</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>307612</id>
    <redirect title="Existence" />
    <revision>
      <id>3944092</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-21T23:59:45Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Redirected page to [[Existence]]</comment>
      <origin>3944092</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="23" sha1="8v7mbcjpn1ywha1s8kdb418cef5jqnk" xml:space="preserve">#Redirect [[Existence]]</text>
      <sha1>8v7mbcjpn1ywha1s8kdb418cef5jqnk</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Mindfully</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>307613</id>
    <redirect title="Mindfulness" />
    <revision>
      <id>3944098</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T00:07:08Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Kalki</username>
        <id>71</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Redirected page to [[Mindfulness]]</comment>
      <origin>3944098</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="25" sha1="2wk6ym28xny16m3z0vybhkkz1negd4c" xml:space="preserve">#Redirect [[Mindfulness]]</text>
      <sha1>2wk6ym28xny16m3z0vybhkkz1negd4c</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>User:Wikedits2024/sandbox</title>
    <ns>2</ns>
    <id>307614</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944113</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T03:33:56Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Wikedits2024</username>
        <id>3229235</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>created page</comment>
      <origin>3944113</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="40" sha1="me12pu0a5z354pepkx9xkqxcgs0ks70" xml:space="preserve">I am excited to join wikiquote community</text>
      <sha1>me12pu0a5z354pepkx9xkqxcgs0ks70</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Diébédo Francis Kéré</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>307615</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944121</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T06:05:01Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>ELApro</username>
        <id>1595</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Initiated INCOMPLETE article To Be Completed</comment>
      <origin>3944121</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="43972" sha1="7qpodfg72m28tg16isvh143gdyy562c" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Francis_Kere,_2019_(cropped).jpg|thumb|right|&lt;center&gt;{{w|Diébédo Francis Kéré}} (2019)&lt;/center&gt;]]

'''{{w|Diébédo Francis Kéré}}''' (born 10 April 1965) is a [[w:Burkina Faso|Burkinabé]]-[[Germany|German]] architect, recognized for creating innovative works that are often sustainable and collaborative in nature. In 2022, he became the first native African to receive the {{w|Pritzker Architecture Prize}}. Educated at {{w|Technische Universität Berlin}}, he has lived in [[Berlin]] since 1985. Parallel to his studies, he established the Kéré Foundation (formerly Schulbausteine für [[w:Gando, Burkina Faso|Gando]]), and in 2005 he founded ''Kéré Architecture''. His architectural practice has been recognized internationally with awards including the {{w|Aga Khan Award for Architecture}} (2004) for his first building, the [[w:Gando, Burkina Faso|Gando]] Primary School in {{w|Burkina Faso}}, and the Global [[w:Holcim Awards for Sustainable Construction|Holcim Award for Sustainable Construction]] (2012 Gold).

Kéré has undertaken projects in various countries including Burkina Faso, [[Mali]], [[Kenya]], [[Uganda]], {{w|Mozambique}}, {{w|Togo}}, [[Sudan]], [[Germany]], [[Italy]], [[Switzerland]], the [[United States|US]], and the [[United Kingdom|UK]]. In 2017 the {{w|Serpentine Galleries}} commissioned him to design the Serpentine Pavilion in London. He has held professorships at the {{w|Harvard Graduate School of Design}}, {{w|Yale School of Architecture}} and the [[Switzerland|Swiss]] {{w|Accademia di Architettura di Mendrisio}}. In 2017 he accepted the professorship for &quot;Architectural Design and Participation&quot; at the {{w|Technical University of Munich}}], and a guest professorship at {{w|Bauhaus University, Weimar}}, in 2021.

== Quotes ==

=== Francis Kéré  (Jun 5, 2014) ===
:&lt;small&gt;Architect Diébédo Francis Kéré. A YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEYzonL9ecY video] from the {{w|DW News}} channel.&lt;/small&gt;

* I just came to [[Germany]] because I got a [[scholarship]]... to attend training as a development activist in [[carpentry]]... Imagine, there is no [[wood]] in {{w|Burkina Faso}}. ...There's not a lot of [[trees]] nor wood and carpentry is very [[wikt:primitive#Adjective|primitive]] ...but ...coming to Germany was a chance to escape.., to move... to escape my environment to another environment where everything seemed to be available and possible!&lt;!--3:53, &amp;t=233s--&gt;

* When I came to Berlin I didn't have my high school degree. ...I had to go again, back to school ...in an evening school in Berlin ...for 5 years ...from 6:00 PM to 11:00 PM to be able to do my high school degree... to go to [[w:Technische Universität Berlin|TU]] to study architecture.

* I built my... first project, a primary school in Gando.., my home village when I was still a student.., and I graduate 3 years later. ...'''[I]t was a sheer necessity that led me to build a school because when I leave my village there was no school and... instead of bringing presents to my village, I just wanted to give... education to my village.'''&lt;!--11:11, &amp;t=671s--&gt;

* How to build in a region like {{w|Burkina Faso}}.., in a country which has a... [[Colonialism|colonial]] past... When I arrived home, explaining to my people that I am here to build a school together with them, and I already have the money.., everybody was... over the moon.., really happy, and then I explained... that we are going to use [[clay]].., [[mud]]. ...[T]here was shock! ...The [[Social rejection|rejection]] was so big, nobody wanted to speak again with me... [I]t cost me a lot of energy and... discussions to convince them that this is the only way to... respond the best to the climate, and to our need.&lt;!--13:26, &amp;t=806s--&gt;

* '''The problem... is how to explain drawings and engineering to people who are neither able to read or write.''' So what I do is to build a {{w|mockup}}... a model... Normally I jump on top of that structure so that my people understood that it is working. It won't crash. So that is the test... to check the engineering.&lt;!--14:48, &amp;t=888s--&gt;

* This is a smart idea... just to use... the negative effect of the sun to [[w:Ventilation (architecture)|ventilate]] inside the classroom. So if you have a structure, the metal shaped... roof, and inside-down, you have a massive skin... of clay... bricks. ...So the hot air inside the two elements is escaping from one side, and absorbing the inside air. It is very simple. Fresh air... coming... through the windows. It is very simple, but it really works! ...You need to have openings. ...[H]ot air is escaping, always on the top. ...If, for example.., with the [[Western world]].., you heat your apartment and the guy... [above] is not heating his apartment, your [[energy]] is going through the ceiling and... heating... his apartment. ...I just use this principle, making openings in the ceiling... [to] let the hot air escape. So you create a natural ventilation.&lt;!--16:00, &amp;t=960s--&gt;

* [I]f you build a school, this is not enough. ...[Y]ou need [[teachers]]. ...[W]e ...[[Collaboration|collaborate]] with the [[government]]. The government is sending teachers, and pay them. ...I have to ...provide {{w|infrastructure}}.., [[housing]] for them. ...[A]n educated person ...don't want to stay in the village. ...[W]e ...provide them with very comfortable housing, so to attract them.&lt;!--18:50, &amp;t=1130s--&gt;

* Even the adult need[s] education. We train the young people in the technique we apply to build the schools so they can earn money. They become professionals working in different building site[s]... from... [[w:Gando, Burkina Faso|Gando]], to other cities... in Burkina Faso, to the neighboring countries... [[Ghana]], {{w|Togo}}, {{w|Benin}}.., so something is happening...&lt;!--21:29, &amp;t=1289s--&gt;

* The [[w:Opera Village Africa|Opera Village]] and {{w|Christoph Schlingensief}}.., he was a [[genius]]. ... He had a [[Dreams|dream]]... to build an [[opera]] in [[Africa]], and... our ways crossed... in [[South Africa]]. ...I am fighting to build schools... and somebody came with an idea to build an opera. You could imagine... my natural reaction... It's a [[wikt:provocation#Noun|provocation]]. It's not serious. ...I'm struggling to build schools to educate people. You come with an idea of an opera. An opera, even in the [[Western world]] is something... limited to the 2%... [H]e was... a great person.., a strong personality and... made these ideas so attractive, so we start... the project. ...Now 150 kids are attending primary education... in the Opera Village. ...We have infrastructure where... activities are... happening.., sometimes supported by the German {{w|Goethe-Institut}}... so that we make performances.., dancing.., a lot of activities... but... most important.., education is still happening. ...A nursery ...is part of it. Christoph... once happened to say... &quot;a cry of a newborn is an opera.&quot; So... not... an opera like in Europe...&lt;!--22:30, &amp;t=1350s--&gt;
** &lt;small&gt;'''Ref''': [https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/building/opera-village-burkina-faso Opera Village Burkina Faso] @Kéré Architecture.&lt;/small&gt;

=== Francis Kéré  (Feb 11, 2021) ===
:&lt;small&gt;Lecture by Francis Kéré with response by {{w|Amale Andraos}}. A '''Creative Commons [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odYm_CMF54M video]''' from the [[w:Columbia University Graduate School of Architecture, Planning and Preservation|Columbia GSAPP]] YouTube channel.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''In the [[Western world|West]] we are spoiled. We don't know what we have'''... 

* Here's the Xylem [[wikt:pavilion#Noun|Pavilion]] in {{w|Montana}} at the site of Temple Rice Art Center. ...I wanted to go back to {{w|Burkina Faso}} and... learn from the tradition... to design the pavilion.., a gathering space where people can come.., meet and rest. ...[T]he {{w|Toguna}} was an inspiration for that... The taguna is... a landmark in the [[w:Dogon people|Dogon]] land.., the [[Symbols|symbol]] of [[freedom]], of [[peace]]... The Toguna... forced people to enter not standing.., taking away [[Aggression|aggressivity]].., by sitting you cannot be aggressive.
** &lt;small&gt;'''Ref''': [https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/building/xylem Xylem] @Kéré Architecture.&lt;/small&gt;

* [I]n {{w|Montana}} I was impressed.., coming from the [[Sahara]], [[trees]] are... so important, so meaningful, the most important things in [[nature]] or in human [[life]]. ...There was an idea to use dead forest and give it new life. ...[W]e discovered that there is a lot of wood in Montana that is just used to burn or... for other purpose than construction. ...We got them and ...try to do like ...in Burkana, taking the skin off the wood with ...a very simple tool ...We went up to create bundles.., components that we... could build.., transport... and install.

* [A] connection to this vast monumental landscape.., that is what I tried to do with this design, not to mimick, but to build a... little space within this big landscape to attract people to [[rest]]. [I]t.., being part of the landscape... and also react beautifully to... nature.

* Another project that I was happy to do is at {{w|Coachella}}. ...Until that, I didn't know what is Coachella .., until that... I would say it is a Mexican drink... I have a daughter Josephine ...and she told me &quot;...you're refusing to do a lot of things because ...you have no time ...but Coachella is cool!&quot; You should do it.
** &lt;small&gt;'''Ref''': [https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/design/sarbale-ke Sarbalé Ke] @Kéré Architecture.&lt;/small&gt;

* {{w|Paul Tollett}}... decided to travel to... Burkina Faso even when it was a time of terrorism... [H]e traveled for the first time to [[Africa]] and... told me.., &quot;I have this festival..., and we... want to promote architecture and art. Would you create... a structure that serves as orientation and a recreation place for our festival visitors?&quot;

* [T]he inspiration here was the [[w:Adansonia|Baobab]]... landmark in the landscape, very big, very giant and in some you have openings, the trunks are hollow. ...I wanted to ...create big Baobab during the festival ...It is just an inspiration ...to make sketches ...mimicking ...how this Baobob is hollow ...create something that is giant, that can be seen from far.., capable of providing shade and a place for visitors... [T]he shadows... rising and inviting the visitor just to gather to sit and rest... [A]t night it was like a beacon... playing the role of orientation pieces... [T]hese giant Baobob... are named, together with the people from Coachella, Sarbalé Ke, a house of celebration or festival...
** &lt;small&gt;'''Ref''': [https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/design/sarbale-ke Sarbalé Ke] @Kéré Architecture.&lt;/small&gt;

* This structure... is simply {{w|plywood}}.., very thin [[steel]] and light and [[Colors|color]]. ...[C]olor for a [[festival]] ...is like a signal of [[celebration]]. ...You use this triangular element and you can create a shape like this...

* '''[I]n the U.S. there is no big difference between the people. We are''' [all] '''looking... for something that can [[Inspiration|inspire]] us.., benefiting from the shade and the canopy of this big [[w:Adansonia|Baobab]].'''

* [[w:Hans Ulrich Obrist|Hans Obrist]] wrote me a letter inviting me to submit a proposal for the [[w:Serpentine Galleries#Pavilions|Serpentine Pavilion]]. ...I never saw myself ...in the level of Serpentine Pavilions ...so I ignored the letter and I fly to Burkina Faso ...pushing my people to create structures. ...Hans ...called, saying why are you not reacting.., is really serious.., so I came back. ...I said, maybe I have to ...stay true to myself ...I wanted to create a canopy .., a big tree .., and I start to talk about [[community]]. ...[A]gain the [[inspiration]] is [[trees]], but also the historic pattern of the brickwork... at the {{w|Kensington Gardens}} for the Serpentine Galleries inspired me ...
** &lt;small&gt;[https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/design/serpentine-pavilion Serpentine Pavilion] @Kéré Architecture.&lt;/small&gt;

* [W]e couldn't build with [[Bricks|brick]]... to build in [[London]] is very expensive, but to build in the {{w|Kensington Gardens}} is... much more complicated. ...We wanted to use wood to build this big tree ...[W]e made many many components ...[I]t's a gathering space for the [[community]] ...I saw people talking to each other to get people ...connected. ...That was ...again, a reason to say, if I learn from my [[culture]], from ...[[tradition]], I can create something in the [[Western world|West]] that may be seen as a contribution to [[architecture]]... I wanted it to be light and [[blue]]... my favorite color.

* In my culture [[blue]] is so important for a young man.., the first date... is to dress blue. If you wear blue, you go to... your [[love]]r... everyone will see you walking through the landscape, and then someone is dating this girl ...I wanted to dress this pavilion with... my favorite color.

[[File:MosqueMaliCommunalMaintenance.jpg|thumb|Communal mosque maintenance in Mali, Africa]]
* I was born in the traditional compound in Burkina Faso, in a village called [[w:Gando, Burkina Faso|Gando]]. I grew up in a place seeing [[architecture]] as... big.., from corporation, from government... far out of reach. ...I got a [[scholarship]] to go to [[Germany]]. ...I wanted to make things better, and learning from my tradition how people come together to do communal work like here...  they repair a [[mosque]] in [[Mali]]. ...I wanted to build a school in my home village.

* I get the community together and... we have [[Stone|rock]]s. Let's collect these rocks and create the [[w:Foundation (engineering)|foundation]], so we save money. Let's use clay to build walls, but... clay in my country is seen as poor people construction material. So they reject it, and they said... a school is something from [[France]]... [[Europe]]an. We want it to be made out of {{w|concrete}} and [[glass]]. ...But ...to convince them I ...discovered ...this ...low cost technology ...[[w:Compressed earth block|compact clay brick]]  .., clay that has been mixed with water and ... a percentage of [[w:Portland cement|cement]] ...and then my people were saying, &quot;Wow, this is technology. This is something new!&quot;

* [W]e went to build the first school... from mud from [[w:Gando, Burkina Faso|Gando]]... clay, and then we use {{w|rebar}}s to make the roof's top because I have not a lot of money, and rebars was everywhere available... so I could use it to make the roof structure, and... a massive ceiling out of the same bricks... over rebars.., a light hanging roof.
** &lt;small&gt;'''Ref''': [https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/building/gando-primary-school-3 Gando Primary School] @Kéré Architecture.&lt;/small&gt;

* I did very simple drawings because... people didn't know about [[architecture]].., something related to big corporation... Here you made very simple drawings to explain... how it worked... [T]he building, the school... is still like at the beginning.., the same, so people are proud... because normally school... government building, no one take care of them... I build this school the way it is not breaking apart and it is... successful.

* How we did it? How I could get... the community to participate? ...To make a big vault ...out of clay bricks, and then I climb... in the middle showing my people, &quot;Don't worry, It will work,&quot; explaining... what is technology.., engineering... [T]his way we could... build... a vault.., and roof structure out of {{w|rebar}}s, and the {{w|roof}} skin out of [[w:Sheet metal|metal sheet]].

* '''Inside the [[w:Vault (architecture)|vault]]... openings allow the hot air to circulate.., [[w:Venturi effect|Venturi system]]. ...The heaviest air ...remain on the ground while the hot air is light and escaping. Together with the... [[w:Jalousie window|lamellar windows]] we created {{w|cross ventilation}}, and so we create cool places for the teachers and kids.'''

* Léo is a {{w|clinic}}... I started to build six years ago, and this... never had enough money... It is a [[w:Community health center|health care center]]... We used clay... and... this project is... meaningful because in Burkina Faso health care center[s] are connected to debt and dirt, so... you go to the hospital when you have no alternative.., and mostly it is too late... and also you go sometime... and you go back home sick. ...But ...it was great to be able to create a structure like this out of clay ...and while people are getting fixed inside, the kids are playing outside... in a place where normally people don't go...
** &lt;small&gt;'''Ref''': [https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/building/leo-surgical-clinic-and-health-centre Léo Surgical Clinic and Health Centre]&lt;/small&gt;

* Our structure was so successful that many doctors [were] [[volunteering]] to... work there from [[Germany]], [[Switzerland]] and [[Austria]], and so this [[Physician|doctor]] who has now become my friend... asked me to design doctor housing because there was no hotel in the area. ...I went again to be inspired by tradition: how we build housing in [[w:Burkina Faso|Burkina]]... either cylindric or a box.., and from that we create a... little compound... Here '''the idea was to try and build a small house... mimicking the size of the housing of the local people, with the idea that people can... copy this way of building to improve their homes. ...It looked very [[Simplicity|simple]] ...inside, very very simple, but it is [[luxury]] in Burkina Faso. ...Where you have a shower and a toilet in my country is, even today a big big luxury.'''

* I could achieve this even using... clay bricks.., seen as poor people['s] construction material.

* Another project... is Lycee Schorge... and Burkina Institute of Technology. ...This client came to tell me... we want to give something back... to create a high school in honor of his brother... [H]is nickname was Schorge... and later they wanted to create a BIT in the image of [[Massachusetts Institute of Technology|MIT]]. ...'''Things are growing fast in {{w|Burkina Faso}}. ...[P]eople come to city... to settle around [[w:Structure#Load-bearing|structures]]. ...[I]n twenty years time this will be a {{w|city centre}}.'''
** &lt;small&gt;'''Ref''': [https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/building/lycee-schorge Lycée Schorge] @Kéré Architecture.&lt;/small&gt;

* I wanted to create a compound-like structure that will create a courtyard to protect the student... from the element[s] and... to increase... [[w:Ventilation (architecture)|ventilation]] systems on adding a... [[w:Windcatcher|wind tower]], and I wanted to use this time [[w:Laterite#Building blocks|laterite]].., a construction material in Burkina Faso, but also neglected more and more because people think it is for poor people. ...To get them to be accepted we cut them with a machine. With the cutting they become regular, and with this it has become a modern construction material.

* '''[Y]ou will see kids standing and watching what is happening. ...[S]ometime when we... build it is like a big theater.., a big performance.''' ...The community come to watch.

* [W]e wanted to add [[w:Eucalyptus camaldulensis|Eucalyptus wood]]. Eucalyptus wood is special.., if you cut it... you have more finger[s] growing out, and they are so straight that people... use them for scaffolding.., or to burn, and I decided to... introduce them to architecture to create structure.., ''visière''... a skin to protect buildings.

* '''[W]e decided to get [[women]] from the community to be part of the work. ...The community is participating.''' ...[Y]ou have women sanding the wood, almost like a [[meditation]], but... they also earn money... [I]n this way... the project... become[s] part of the community. '''It is creating an [[identity]]. People know how the building was made, and they have been part of the building, but they also earn money... to feed their family.'''

* In the back side we have seatings. You can sit... on the wood that we had been using to create a sort of ''{{w|brise soleil}}.''

* [T]he technology for the BIT, because it's a... technology center, I wanted to use clay in a different way, to pour clay like you would do with concrete. ...We end up coming to an agreement to create the form... and with this... create one classroom at a time. ...So the more students are coming, we keep pouring more classrooms. ...[I]t is open to the east, and to the south it's protected with sun-shading wood element[s]. ...[T]he ventilation elements ...[are] different... [from] the high school ...crossing the buildings.

* Inside you have a very open courtyard where...the students can be. [The structure] is very warm, very welcoming and inspiring. ...After class you will see the student[s] playing with the other younger students from the high school.

* [A]t night you have [[light]], and light is so important. ...One of the reasons I have realized why I'm doing the work... is to bring knowledge to my people. First I started with [[w:Gando, Burkina Faso|Gando]] and then I came to be able to do many many projects in many places... Burkina Faso is still my focus... '''I realize... that [[education]] is like light... what you can see in the night.'''

* [[Hope]]... because what I have been seeing... during my work.., facing this discussion about who is the best partner for Africa. Who can better help Africa? ...I don't know. Today some voices are saying [[China]] has an advantage... in the competition. ...Here, dear community from [[w:Columbia University|Columbia]].., when I did my first lecture in your place, let's say I was working with simply my relatives from my village, brothers and sisters and cousins. Nowadays I have this big structure working with me (very big group of people) and if you add the women.., I have more than 300 or 400 people sometime... working and earning money. ...Your keeping these young people from the risk to take a boat and go... to Europe, the West, to America, and... you know what's happening with [[populism]]. ...[P]eople just use ...other people ...to oppose. ...People are looking ...for opportunity to live a simple and better life.

* Look at what I'm doing... with my work. Here we're trying to create a water basin. ...People just dig and we construct... This is in the site of the BIT and the high school. ...With this you can store water ...to grow trees, the same like we're building, step by step, classes, and you see these tree[s] are creating shadow for my people.

* Maybe with my architecture I am contributing to bring my people to the position to not see things like big and for corporation... This is... what motivated me to do what I am doing. You see these young people. Those kids are now in the BIT learning... [[New York City|New York]] has been built with people, and... in my work I want my people to be inspired to build their own future, and I want people like you... to see that I'm considering what I'm doing... as important as the same way New York has been built. '''You may laugh, but... a little school in [[w:Gando, Burkina Faso|Gando]] is, in the eyes of my community, maybe the same... [as] how they build a high rise in New York... very inspiring.'''

=== Giving Me Penny (Apr 3, 2024) ===
:&lt;small&gt;- Interview with the Architect Diébédo Francis Kéré. A YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vkhnd849S7w video]''' from the Bauwelt channel.&lt;/small&gt;

* I learned this in Germany, to learn how to use... technology.., modern knowledge and adapting them to the need of the people. ...[T]his was only possible because I was working with the people. So learning... old techniques from my people, training to make them a little better.., to make them last longer.., to connect traditional knowledge to modern knowledge. '''[S]ometimes I feel like a bridge... between your culture and my own culture, between your culture of [[science]] and mine, which is on the very beginning... [of] development'''... 

* I am teaching my people to be able to build this project... When we started... 15 people and... at a certain time... more than 50... belonged to my staff... showing them how to do what I'm doing. ...It sounds so &quot;teacher&quot; ...no, no, no ...I was trying to find solution[s] with them... [T]hey're so full of creativity... of talent, but... today we are doing projects... and my people get paid! My people can earn money from their work..! I am proud to see that. '''We just started very [[Naivety|naive]]. Everybody was laughing. Now we have a school. It's working. We have teacher houses which are being called [[w:Refrigerator|fridge]] of Gando... where it is cool like fridge.'''

* '''I left my village to go to the city and attend education. ...[W]hen I came on holiday, home, all the women... in my village... here they put their last penny, and they open all the time this... to give my their last penny. ...I will never forget this ...[O]ne day I asked my mother, &quot;Why all the women in the village are [[Love|loving]] me... that much that they give me money?&quot; and my mother said... &quot;Yes, ...they love you, of course, but... they're giving you [[credit]] so you can help them one day.&quot; ...That is why this women's center is so important for me.''' ...It is ... for the women in my village.., to whom my own mother belong, my own sisters. Everybody will be concerned about this project... [T]his project will impact the life of 3,000 women.., and these... will have an impact on... 12,000... because their family will benefit. ...We will give them ...adult education ...They will have their {{w|microcredit}} system trying to improve their [[Economics|economical]] situation. Trying also to train them to have a better position in the family. ...'''[I]n [[Africa]], [[women's rights]]? ...[I]n countries where people are poor, the people suffering ...are the women''', and this is also in Gando, and '''that's what I'm going to change.''' ...€70,000 euro ...can change life of more than 12,000 people ...This is my latest project for my village. ...'''[T]he roofs will be made ...with {{w|Eucalyptus}} ...by myself and my people, and the women will help build the house like they used to do. ...[I]t will be a big step for my people, for the women! ...[W]e will use a clay floor ...and we will raise the building ...to have natural [[w:Ventilation (architecture)|ventilation]] coming from the ground ...and the air will circulate through the roof, through the ventilation system through openings in the ceiling ...and solar panels ...to have electricity ...My people are great and the women are great! Without women there is no Africa.'''

=== A Conversation with 2024 Crystal Awardee Francis Kéré  (Mar 15, 2022) ===
:&lt;small&gt;| Davos 2024 | {{w|World Economic Forum}}. A '''Creative Commons [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1809sFp3ag video]''' from the World Economic Forum YouTube channel.&lt;/small&gt;

* [F]rom [[w:Gando, Burkina Faso|Gando]] to [[w:World Economic Forum|Davos]] is a very very long way, but it's a way that I enjoyed... very much, and it's a way where you realize your [[privilege]]. ...To look back and see that I have been one of the very few... to attend [[education]]... and to learn how to build and to come back and be able to work together with the community to create... a building. An effort that I have always seen as a matter of [[heart]]. ...In my place every member of the [[community]] has to contribute... to the growth of the community, and I have been very far away in the world that was not known to my people. [[Germany]] is so far away. &quot;What is he doing there?&quot; So especially your mom will be attacked.., saying &quot;Get him back. He should come and help to work in the field. His father was stupid enough to let him go; the first son, and not to contribute... doing [[agriculture]].&quot;

* I feel very very privileged. I created the school as a student... because... 3 years after I start to study architecture in [[Berlin]] I suddenly feel I know a lot... I will go back and work with the community. ...'''[T]he school has been selected as one of the 21 most influential buildings in the world since the [[World War II|Second World War]].'''
** &lt;small&gt;'''Ref''': [https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/building/gando-primary-school-3 Gando Primary School] @Kéré Architecture.&lt;/small&gt;

* I left... my family when I was 7, so... I was thinking... what can I do to keep the kids home, by their community, by their families, but... to attend education. Education is so highly needed, and so... after I got the scholarship and I started to study architecture, I grew the idea... solve this... creating the school.., but the school should be within the reality of the people: the social context, the economical context and the cultural context. ...[P]eople used to work together. If it come[s] to building, you need the entire community, and that['s] what I've done.

* I can see the work of an architect as those of a [[Sociology|sociologist]]. ...You're trying to shape people['s] life. ...It is in a house where you share intimacy. This is where we rest.., where we spend most of our time. ...[W]e work in buildings. ...[T]he role of an architect is caring. Shortly said, [it] is caring for humanity... '''[C]aring means to think about solutions where you could create comfort, for people to really stay.., spend their time, and fulfill their dreams.'''

* '''Now you hear a big word, &quot;[[sustainability]]&quot;... Honestly.., I was just doing my [[work]], and then... good people realized... there is more than just words around what he is doing. There is a depth, and that saved me. I didn't need... to really use the word properly, but to build, and to build with the people and to use the resources I believe will open a [[future]] to my [[community]]...

* '''[N]owadays {{w|construction}} is over-complicated [[regulation]]''', and even... how... you apply material. Everything is so [[Complexity|complex]], and you cannot [[Innovation|innovate]] anymore... [W[hat I do is to try every time I have a chance to build in [[Western world|the West]] and to gather with professionals to make sure we will be able to come out with [[quality]]. So first I have a big [[vision]], and I try to put as much... [[insight]] in... knowing that if they try to decompose it, to take away elements, ...at the end of the day a core will remain that is quality.., '''but... I'm trying to use the opportunity that in other places in the world construction can still be innovative''', and there I push ...it as a chance to innovate, and then bring this back to [[Germany]].

* [T]he Kéré Foundation... was born out of sheer necessity... I was a student. I had a big heart for my community. I wanted to give them a school. ...I could design, but where to get the money? ...I met every political party ...&quot;Oh, I have an idea to build a school in Africa.&quot; [Answer:} &quot;Oh wow, in Africa. You're so naive. It's so corrupt! ...You think you could do something?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;I didn't give up. ...Running, running, running, trying to explain why there is a need for me to build a school, and then there is a [[Social rejection|rejection]]. &quot;Why you and not the government, and you're a student, why should you do that? Why you don't wait?&quot; I had been facing all of that, and one day I stopped. ...I honestly started to push my colleague[s] to smoke less or drink less coffee, but fund my project, and so... people start to put money in the box that I designed for the school.., a mock-up of the school... used as a box to collect money...&lt;br /&gt;Suddenly someone said, &quot;Oh, it's illegal to collect money like this in Germany! ...You need a structure,&quot; and so we created the foundation ''Schulbausteine für Gando...'' which means, construction bricks for the school in Gando... I got $50,000 U.S. dollars... to build a school. So '''the Kéré Foundation is a nonprofit structure that I founded as a student to be able to do my work'''...

* Later on the school was so successful.., but with the growing success of my architecture there was still a struggle to get the money, and friends... started six years ago to say.., &quot;Francis, it's important that you connect... the name of your foundation with the success of your architecture. ...Why you don't call it Kéré Foundation?&quot; and so we call it Kéré Foundation. ...There's still a struggle, but I have... client[s] that are really looking forward to support this structure... to share my work... to my fellow Africans... [and] to the world.

* [[Youth|Young people are looking for opportunities.]] They try... to go somewhere else. They don't leave because they want to leave. '''They leave because their life conditions.. are bad. ...[W]ith my modest workshop''' ...20 years now.., '''I have more than 500 young people in {{w|Burkina Faso}} that really earn money, and... make a living, and they will never take the road through the [[Sahara]] to come to [[Western world|the West]]... If we develop [[community]].., make them [[Strength|stronger]], enabling the youth... to build a better [[future]] for generations to come, we will heal our places and contribute to [[world peace|peace in the world]]. ...[T]his is what I can say through my modest [[work]], and not more.'''

== Quotes about Kéré ==

=== Francis Kéré  (Jun 5, 2014) ===
:&lt;small&gt;Architect Diébédo Francis Kéré. A YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEYzonL9ecY video] from the DW News channel.&lt;/small&gt;

* Diébédo Francis Kéré left his homeland over 20 years ago, and he's been on the move ever since. He has architectural projects all over the world, but those closes to his heart are in his homeland, {{w|Burkina Faso}}.

* Kéré works with simple materials, designing elegant efficient buildings using resources available locally, and he develops new ideas, like... [the] double roof that allows the air to circulate and cost efficiently cool the school.

* Kéré's biggest project is the [[w:Opera Village Africa|Opera Village]] in Burkina Faso, a dream of the late artist, {{w|Christoph Schlingensief}}, whose widow Aino Laberenz is still working with Kéré.
** &lt;small&gt;'''Ref''': [https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/building/opera-village-burkina-faso Opera Village Burkina Faso] @Kéré Architecture.&lt;/small&gt;

* His school, created from mud bricks, has won him global fame.
** &lt;small&gt;'''Ref''': [https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/building/gando-primary-school-3 Gando Primary School] @Kéré Architecture.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''His office studio in [[Berlin]] is a multicultural [[laboratory]], and his second [[home]].'''

* Kéré doesn't just want to copy architectural styles in Europe, but to observe and learn, wherever he happens to be.

* Kéré developed his own recipe for making bricks, 8 buckets of cement added to 92 buckets of clay. This mixture makes his building resistant to rain and termites. He learned to work with clay at an old brick work factory in Germany.

* '''He's determined that despite a minimum of resources and adverse conditions, he'll find a unique aesthetic for [[Africa]]. That's a promise he's made to his country.'''

=== Diébédo Francis Kéré Receives the 2022 {{w|Pritzker Architecture Prize}} (Mar 15, 2022) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[https://www.pritzkerprize.com/laureates/diebedo-francis-kere Diébédo Francis Kéré Source] @PritzkerPrize.com&lt;/small&gt;

* &quot;Francis Kéré is pioneering architecture—sustainable to the earth and its inhabitants—in lands of extreme scarcity. He is equally architect and servant, improving upon the lives and experiences of countless citizens in a region... that is at times forgotten... Through buildings that demonstrate beauty, modesty, boldness and invention, and by the integrity of his architecture and [[wikt:geste#Noun_5|geste]], Kéré gracefully upholds the mission of this Prize.&quot;
** [[w:Thomas Pritzker|Tom Pritzker]], Chairman of The {{w|Hyatt}} Foundation.

* Francis Kéré empowers and transforms communities through the process of architecture. Through his commitment to social justice and engagement, and intelligent use of local materials to connect and respond to the natural climate, he works in marginalized countries... where architecture and infrastructure are absent.

* Building contemporary school institutions, health facilities, professional housing, civic buildings and public spaces, oftentimes in lands where resources are fragile and fellowship is vital, the expression of his works exceeds the value of a building itself.

* Startup Lions Campus... uses local quarry stone and stacked towers for passive cooling to minimize the air conditioning... Burkina Institute of Technology... is composed of cooling clay walls... were cast in-situ to accelerate the... Overhanging [[w:Eucalyptus camaldulensis|eucalyptus]]... were repurposed to line the angled corrugated metal roofs, which protect the building during the country’s brief rainy reason, and rainwater is collected underground to irrigate mango plantations on the premises. A facade... of eucalyptus wood surrounds the elliptical building, creating flexible outdoor spaces that emit light...
** &lt;small&gt;'''Ref''': [https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/building/startup-lions-campus Startup Lions Campus] @Kéré Architecture.&lt;/small&gt;

* A [[Poetry|poetic]] expression of [[light]] is consistent throughout Kéré’s works. Rays of sun filter into buildings, courtyards and intermediary spaces, overcoming harsh midday conditions to offer places of serenity or gathering. The concrete roof of Gando Primary School Library was poured around a grid of traditional clay pots, that... left openings allowing heat to escape while circular beams of natural light could... illuminate the interiors.
** &lt;small&gt;'''Ref''': [https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/building/gando-primary-school-library Gando Primary School Library] @Kéré Architecture.&lt;/small&gt;

* Kéré’s designs are laced with symbolism and his works... are influenced by his upbringing and experiences in [[w:Gando, Burkina Faso|Gando]]. The {{w|West Africa}}n tradition of communing under a sacred [[Trees|tree]] to exchange [[ideas]], narrate [[Story|stories]], [[Celebration|celebrate]] and assemble, is recurrent throughout.

* Many of Kéré's... works are... in [[Africa]].., including the Republic of {{w|Benin}}, {{w|Burkino Faso}}, [[Mali]], {{w|Togo}}, [[Kenya]], {{w|Mozambique}}... and [[Sudan]]. Pavilions and installations and have been created in [[Denmark]], [[Germany]], [[Italy]], [[Switzerland]], the [[United Kingdom]] and the [[United States]].

* Kéré established Kéré Foundation in 1998 to serve the inhabitants of Gando... and Kéré Architecture in 2005 in [[Berlin]]... Kéré is the 51st Laureate of the {{w|Pritzker Architecture Prize}}, and is a dual citizen of {{w|Burkina Faso}} and [[Germany]].

=== Jury Citation: 2022 {{w|Pritzker Architecture Prize}}  (Mar 15, 2022) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[https://www.pritzkerprize.com/laureates/diebedo-francis-kere#laureate-page-2441 Jury Citation Source] @PritzkerPrize.com&lt;/small&gt;

* His [[Culture|cultural]] sensitivity not only delivers social and environmental [[justice]], but guides his entire process, in the awareness that it is the path towards the legitimacy of a building in a community. '''He knows, from within, that [[architecture]] is not about the object but the objective; not the product, but the process.''' ....His buildings, for and with communities, are ...of those communities—in their making.., materials.., programs and ...unique characters.

* He has drawn from his European architectural formation and work, combining them with the traditions, needs and customs of his country. He was determined to bring resources in [[education]] from [[w:Technical University of Munich|one of the leading Technical Universities in the world]] back to his native land and to have those resources elevate the indigenous know-how, culture and society of his region.

* Kéré understood that an apparently simple goal, namely, to make it possible for children to attend school comfortably, had to be at the [[heart]] of his architectural project.

* For too many people in developing countries, the problem is extreme heat, rather than cold.&lt;br /&gt;In response he developed an ad-hoc, highly performative and expressive architectural vocabulary: double roofs, thermal mass, wind towers, indirect lighting, cross ventilation and shade chambers... [which] have... acquired the status of built dignity.

* In the Serpentine pavilion... he successfully translated into a universal visual language... a long-forgotten essential symbol of [[wikt:primordial#Adjective|primordial]] architecture worldwide: the [[Trees|tree]].
** &lt;small&gt;[https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/design/serpentine-pavilion Serpentine Pavilion] @Kéré Architecture.&lt;/small&gt;

* His simultaneously local and global perspective goes... beyond [[aesthetics]] and good [[intention]]s, allowing him to integrate the [[tradition]]al with the contemporary.

* Francis Kéré’s work... reminds us of the necessary struggle to change unsustainable patterns of [[production]] and [[Consumption (economics)|consumption]]...

* He raises fundamental questions of the meaning of [[wikt:permanent#Adjective|permanence]] and {{w|durability}}...

* [H]is development of a contemporary [[humanism]] merges a deep respect for [[history]], [[tradition]], [[precision]], written and unwritten [[rules]].

* He has shown us how architecture... can reflect and serve needs, including the aesthetic... of peoples throughout the world. '''He has shown us how locality becomes a [[Universal value|universal]] possibility.'''

* '''In a world in crisis, amidst changing values and generations, he reminds us of''' what has been, and will... continue to be a cornerstone of architectural practice: '''a sense of [[community]] and narrative'''... which he... recount[s] with compassion and pride. ...[H]e provides a narrative in which architecture can become a source '''of continued and lasting [[happiness]] and [[joy]].'''

* For the gifts he has created through his work, gifts that go beyond the realm of the architecture discipline, Francis Kéré is named the 2022 [[w:Pritzker Architecture Prize|Pritzker Prize]] {{w|Laureate}}.

== See also ==
* [[Africa]]
* [[Architecture]]
* [[Germany]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* [https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/ Kéré Architecture]
* [https://www.kerefoundation.com/de Kéré Foundation]
* [https://www.holcimfoundation.org/media/news/kere-pritzker-laureate-2022 Sustainable construction: climate, democracy and scarcity are concerns for us all:] Diébédo Francis Kéré wins &quot;Nobel Prize&quot; for Architecture. 2022 Laureate of the Pritzker Architecture Prize @HolcimFoundation.org
* [https://www.pritzkerprize.com/laureates/diebedo-francis-kere Diébédo Francis Kéré Receives the 2022 Pritzker Architecture Prize] @PritzkerPrize.com
* [https://the.akdn/en/en/how-we-work/our-agencies/aga-khan-trust-culture/akaa/primary-school Primary School] (in Burkina Fasa) 2004 [[w:Aga Khan Development Network|Aga Khan]] Award for Architecture @[[w:Aga Khan Development Network|AKDN]]

* Editoriale Domus, Italy
** [https://www.domusweb.it/en/architecture/2011/08/15/francis-kere-in-mali.html Francis Kéré in Mali]
** [https://www.domusweb.it/en/architecture/2010/12/30/francis-kere-see-africa.html Francis Kéré. See Africa]
** [https://www.domusweb.it/en/architecture/2010/11/08/interview-with-diebedo-francis-kere.html Interview with Diébédo Francis Kéré]

* YouTube videos
** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAHeoh4TuCM&amp;list=PL50D0C5BEB7FF3CF9 Pritzker Prize Architect | Francis Kéré: Africa Must Stop Copying the West]
** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KN-H9Hobgps What makes the most famous African architect Diébédo Francis Kéré extraordinary?] @Superstarchitect channel

{{DEFAULTSORT:Kere, Diebedo Francis}}
[[Category:1965 births]]
[[Category:20th-century English architects]]</text>
      <sha1>7qpodfg72m28tg16isvh143gdyy562c</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944122</id>
      <parentid>3944121</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T06:09:27Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>ELApro</username>
        <id>1595</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>/* External links */&quot;For the first time in its history, architecture's top award goes to a Black architect&quot; @Kuow.org</comment>
      <origin>3944122</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="44186" sha1="bidtmbw12afisigcnb67acd80hcxyvo" xml:space="preserve">[[File:Francis_Kere,_2019_(cropped).jpg|thumb|right|&lt;center&gt;{{w|Diébédo Francis Kéré}} (2019)&lt;/center&gt;]]

'''{{w|Diébédo Francis Kéré}}''' (born 10 April 1965) is a [[w:Burkina Faso|Burkinabé]]-[[Germany|German]] architect, recognized for creating innovative works that are often sustainable and collaborative in nature. In 2022, he became the first native African to receive the {{w|Pritzker Architecture Prize}}. Educated at {{w|Technische Universität Berlin}}, he has lived in [[Berlin]] since 1985. Parallel to his studies, he established the Kéré Foundation (formerly Schulbausteine für [[w:Gando, Burkina Faso|Gando]]), and in 2005 he founded ''Kéré Architecture''. His architectural practice has been recognized internationally with awards including the {{w|Aga Khan Award for Architecture}} (2004) for his first building, the [[w:Gando, Burkina Faso|Gando]] Primary School in {{w|Burkina Faso}}, and the Global [[w:Holcim Awards for Sustainable Construction|Holcim Award for Sustainable Construction]] (2012 Gold).

Kéré has undertaken projects in various countries including Burkina Faso, [[Mali]], [[Kenya]], [[Uganda]], {{w|Mozambique}}, {{w|Togo}}, [[Sudan]], [[Germany]], [[Italy]], [[Switzerland]], the [[United States|US]], and the [[United Kingdom|UK]]. In 2017 the {{w|Serpentine Galleries}} commissioned him to design the Serpentine Pavilion in London. He has held professorships at the {{w|Harvard Graduate School of Design}}, {{w|Yale School of Architecture}} and the [[Switzerland|Swiss]] {{w|Accademia di Architettura di Mendrisio}}. In 2017 he accepted the professorship for &quot;Architectural Design and Participation&quot; at the {{w|Technical University of Munich}}], and a guest professorship at {{w|Bauhaus University, Weimar}}, in 2021.

== Quotes ==

=== Francis Kéré  (Jun 5, 2014) ===
:&lt;small&gt;Architect Diébédo Francis Kéré. A YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEYzonL9ecY video] from the {{w|DW News}} channel.&lt;/small&gt;

* I just came to [[Germany]] because I got a [[scholarship]]... to attend training as a development activist in [[carpentry]]... Imagine, there is no [[wood]] in {{w|Burkina Faso}}. ...There's not a lot of [[trees]] nor wood and carpentry is very [[wikt:primitive#Adjective|primitive]] ...but ...coming to Germany was a chance to escape.., to move... to escape my environment to another environment where everything seemed to be available and possible!&lt;!--3:53, &amp;t=233s--&gt;

* When I came to Berlin I didn't have my high school degree. ...I had to go again, back to school ...in an evening school in Berlin ...for 5 years ...from 6:00 PM to 11:00 PM to be able to do my high school degree... to go to [[w:Technische Universität Berlin|TU]] to study architecture.

* I built my... first project, a primary school in Gando.., my home village when I was still a student.., and I graduate 3 years later. ...'''[I]t was a sheer necessity that led me to build a school because when I leave my village there was no school and... instead of bringing presents to my village, I just wanted to give... education to my village.'''&lt;!--11:11, &amp;t=671s--&gt;

* How to build in a region like {{w|Burkina Faso}}.., in a country which has a... [[Colonialism|colonial]] past... When I arrived home, explaining to my people that I am here to build a school together with them, and I already have the money.., everybody was... over the moon.., really happy, and then I explained... that we are going to use [[clay]].., [[mud]]. ...[T]here was shock! ...The [[Social rejection|rejection]] was so big, nobody wanted to speak again with me... [I]t cost me a lot of energy and... discussions to convince them that this is the only way to... respond the best to the climate, and to our need.&lt;!--13:26, &amp;t=806s--&gt;

* '''The problem... is how to explain drawings and engineering to people who are neither able to read or write.''' So what I do is to build a {{w|mockup}}... a model... Normally I jump on top of that structure so that my people understood that it is working. It won't crash. So that is the test... to check the engineering.&lt;!--14:48, &amp;t=888s--&gt;

* This is a smart idea... just to use... the negative effect of the sun to [[w:Ventilation (architecture)|ventilate]] inside the classroom. So if you have a structure, the metal shaped... roof, and inside-down, you have a massive skin... of clay... bricks. ...So the hot air inside the two elements is escaping from one side, and absorbing the inside air. It is very simple. Fresh air... coming... through the windows. It is very simple, but it really works! ...You need to have openings. ...[H]ot air is escaping, always on the top. ...If, for example.., with the [[Western world]].., you heat your apartment and the guy... [above] is not heating his apartment, your [[energy]] is going through the ceiling and... heating... his apartment. ...I just use this principle, making openings in the ceiling... [to] let the hot air escape. So you create a natural ventilation.&lt;!--16:00, &amp;t=960s--&gt;

* [I]f you build a school, this is not enough. ...[Y]ou need [[teachers]]. ...[W]e ...[[Collaboration|collaborate]] with the [[government]]. The government is sending teachers, and pay them. ...I have to ...provide {{w|infrastructure}}.., [[housing]] for them. ...[A]n educated person ...don't want to stay in the village. ...[W]e ...provide them with very comfortable housing, so to attract them.&lt;!--18:50, &amp;t=1130s--&gt;

* Even the adult need[s] education. We train the young people in the technique we apply to build the schools so they can earn money. They become professionals working in different building site[s]... from... [[w:Gando, Burkina Faso|Gando]], to other cities... in Burkina Faso, to the neighboring countries... [[Ghana]], {{w|Togo}}, {{w|Benin}}.., so something is happening...&lt;!--21:29, &amp;t=1289s--&gt;

* The [[w:Opera Village Africa|Opera Village]] and {{w|Christoph Schlingensief}}.., he was a [[genius]]. ... He had a [[Dreams|dream]]... to build an [[opera]] in [[Africa]], and... our ways crossed... in [[South Africa]]. ...I am fighting to build schools... and somebody came with an idea to build an opera. You could imagine... my natural reaction... It's a [[wikt:provocation#Noun|provocation]]. It's not serious. ...I'm struggling to build schools to educate people. You come with an idea of an opera. An opera, even in the [[Western world]] is something... limited to the 2%... [H]e was... a great person.., a strong personality and... made these ideas so attractive, so we start... the project. ...Now 150 kids are attending primary education... in the Opera Village. ...We have infrastructure where... activities are... happening.., sometimes supported by the German {{w|Goethe-Institut}}... so that we make performances.., dancing.., a lot of activities... but... most important.., education is still happening. ...A nursery ...is part of it. Christoph... once happened to say... &quot;a cry of a newborn is an opera.&quot; So... not... an opera like in Europe...&lt;!--22:30, &amp;t=1350s--&gt;
** &lt;small&gt;'''Ref''': [https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/building/opera-village-burkina-faso Opera Village Burkina Faso] @Kéré Architecture.&lt;/small&gt;

=== Francis Kéré  (Feb 11, 2021) ===
:&lt;small&gt;Lecture by Francis Kéré with response by {{w|Amale Andraos}}. A '''Creative Commons [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odYm_CMF54M video]''' from the [[w:Columbia University Graduate School of Architecture, Planning and Preservation|Columbia GSAPP]] YouTube channel.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''In the [[Western world|West]] we are spoiled. We don't know what we have'''... 

* Here's the Xylem [[wikt:pavilion#Noun|Pavilion]] in {{w|Montana}} at the site of Temple Rice Art Center. ...I wanted to go back to {{w|Burkina Faso}} and... learn from the tradition... to design the pavilion.., a gathering space where people can come.., meet and rest. ...[T]he {{w|Toguna}} was an inspiration for that... The taguna is... a landmark in the [[w:Dogon people|Dogon]] land.., the [[Symbols|symbol]] of [[freedom]], of [[peace]]... The Toguna... forced people to enter not standing.., taking away [[Aggression|aggressivity]].., by sitting you cannot be aggressive.
** &lt;small&gt;'''Ref''': [https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/building/xylem Xylem] @Kéré Architecture.&lt;/small&gt;

* [I]n {{w|Montana}} I was impressed.., coming from the [[Sahara]], [[trees]] are... so important, so meaningful, the most important things in [[nature]] or in human [[life]]. ...There was an idea to use dead forest and give it new life. ...[W]e discovered that there is a lot of wood in Montana that is just used to burn or... for other purpose than construction. ...We got them and ...try to do like ...in Burkana, taking the skin off the wood with ...a very simple tool ...We went up to create bundles.., components that we... could build.., transport... and install.

* [A] connection to this vast monumental landscape.., that is what I tried to do with this design, not to mimick, but to build a... little space within this big landscape to attract people to [[rest]]. [I]t.., being part of the landscape... and also react beautifully to... nature.

* Another project that I was happy to do is at {{w|Coachella}}. ...Until that, I didn't know what is Coachella .., until that... I would say it is a Mexican drink... I have a daughter Josephine ...and she told me &quot;...you're refusing to do a lot of things because ...you have no time ...but Coachella is cool!&quot; You should do it.
** &lt;small&gt;'''Ref''': [https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/design/sarbale-ke Sarbalé Ke] @Kéré Architecture.&lt;/small&gt;

* {{w|Paul Tollett}}... decided to travel to... Burkina Faso even when it was a time of terrorism... [H]e traveled for the first time to [[Africa]] and... told me.., &quot;I have this festival..., and we... want to promote architecture and art. Would you create... a structure that serves as orientation and a recreation place for our festival visitors?&quot;

* [T]he inspiration here was the [[w:Adansonia|Baobab]]... landmark in the landscape, very big, very giant and in some you have openings, the trunks are hollow. ...I wanted to ...create big Baobab during the festival ...It is just an inspiration ...to make sketches ...mimicking ...how this Baobob is hollow ...create something that is giant, that can be seen from far.., capable of providing shade and a place for visitors... [T]he shadows... rising and inviting the visitor just to gather to sit and rest... [A]t night it was like a beacon... playing the role of orientation pieces... [T]hese giant Baobob... are named, together with the people from Coachella, Sarbalé Ke, a house of celebration or festival...
** &lt;small&gt;'''Ref''': [https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/design/sarbale-ke Sarbalé Ke] @Kéré Architecture.&lt;/small&gt;

* This structure... is simply {{w|plywood}}.., very thin [[steel]] and light and [[Colors|color]]. ...[C]olor for a [[festival]] ...is like a signal of [[celebration]]. ...You use this triangular element and you can create a shape like this...

* '''[I]n the U.S. there is no big difference between the people. We are''' [all] '''looking... for something that can [[Inspiration|inspire]] us.., benefiting from the shade and the canopy of this big [[w:Adansonia|Baobab]].'''

* [[w:Hans Ulrich Obrist|Hans Obrist]] wrote me a letter inviting me to submit a proposal for the [[w:Serpentine Galleries#Pavilions|Serpentine Pavilion]]. ...I never saw myself ...in the level of Serpentine Pavilions ...so I ignored the letter and I fly to Burkina Faso ...pushing my people to create structures. ...Hans ...called, saying why are you not reacting.., is really serious.., so I came back. ...I said, maybe I have to ...stay true to myself ...I wanted to create a canopy .., a big tree .., and I start to talk about [[community]]. ...[A]gain the [[inspiration]] is [[trees]], but also the historic pattern of the brickwork... at the {{w|Kensington Gardens}} for the Serpentine Galleries inspired me ...
** &lt;small&gt;[https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/design/serpentine-pavilion Serpentine Pavilion] @Kéré Architecture.&lt;/small&gt;

* [W]e couldn't build with [[Bricks|brick]]... to build in [[London]] is very expensive, but to build in the {{w|Kensington Gardens}} is... much more complicated. ...We wanted to use wood to build this big tree ...[W]e made many many components ...[I]t's a gathering space for the [[community]] ...I saw people talking to each other to get people ...connected. ...That was ...again, a reason to say, if I learn from my [[culture]], from ...[[tradition]], I can create something in the [[Western world|West]] that may be seen as a contribution to [[architecture]]... I wanted it to be light and [[blue]]... my favorite color.

* In my culture [[blue]] is so important for a young man.., the first date... is to dress blue. If you wear blue, you go to... your [[love]]r... everyone will see you walking through the landscape, and then someone is dating this girl ...I wanted to dress this pavilion with... my favorite color.

[[File:MosqueMaliCommunalMaintenance.jpg|thumb|Communal mosque maintenance in Mali, Africa]]
* I was born in the traditional compound in Burkina Faso, in a village called [[w:Gando, Burkina Faso|Gando]]. I grew up in a place seeing [[architecture]] as... big.., from corporation, from government... far out of reach. ...I got a [[scholarship]] to go to [[Germany]]. ...I wanted to make things better, and learning from my tradition how people come together to do communal work like here...  they repair a [[mosque]] in [[Mali]]. ...I wanted to build a school in my home village.

* I get the community together and... we have [[Stone|rock]]s. Let's collect these rocks and create the [[w:Foundation (engineering)|foundation]], so we save money. Let's use clay to build walls, but... clay in my country is seen as poor people construction material. So they reject it, and they said... a school is something from [[France]]... [[Europe]]an. We want it to be made out of {{w|concrete}} and [[glass]]. ...But ...to convince them I ...discovered ...this ...low cost technology ...[[w:Compressed earth block|compact clay brick]]  .., clay that has been mixed with water and ... a percentage of [[w:Portland cement|cement]] ...and then my people were saying, &quot;Wow, this is technology. This is something new!&quot;

* [W]e went to build the first school... from mud from [[w:Gando, Burkina Faso|Gando]]... clay, and then we use {{w|rebar}}s to make the roof's top because I have not a lot of money, and rebars was everywhere available... so I could use it to make the roof structure, and... a massive ceiling out of the same bricks... over rebars.., a light hanging roof.
** &lt;small&gt;'''Ref''': [https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/building/gando-primary-school-3 Gando Primary School] @Kéré Architecture.&lt;/small&gt;

* I did very simple drawings because... people didn't know about [[architecture]].., something related to big corporation... Here you made very simple drawings to explain... how it worked... [T]he building, the school... is still like at the beginning.., the same, so people are proud... because normally school... government building, no one take care of them... I build this school the way it is not breaking apart and it is... successful.

* How we did it? How I could get... the community to participate? ...To make a big vault ...out of clay bricks, and then I climb... in the middle showing my people, &quot;Don't worry, It will work,&quot; explaining... what is technology.., engineering... [T]his way we could... build... a vault.., and roof structure out of {{w|rebar}}s, and the {{w|roof}} skin out of [[w:Sheet metal|metal sheet]].

* '''Inside the [[w:Vault (architecture)|vault]]... openings allow the hot air to circulate.., [[w:Venturi effect|Venturi system]]. ...The heaviest air ...remain on the ground while the hot air is light and escaping. Together with the... [[w:Jalousie window|lamellar windows]] we created {{w|cross ventilation}}, and so we create cool places for the teachers and kids.'''

* Léo is a {{w|clinic}}... I started to build six years ago, and this... never had enough money... It is a [[w:Community health center|health care center]]... We used clay... and... this project is... meaningful because in Burkina Faso health care center[s] are connected to debt and dirt, so... you go to the hospital when you have no alternative.., and mostly it is too late... and also you go sometime... and you go back home sick. ...But ...it was great to be able to create a structure like this out of clay ...and while people are getting fixed inside, the kids are playing outside... in a place where normally people don't go...
** &lt;small&gt;'''Ref''': [https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/building/leo-surgical-clinic-and-health-centre Léo Surgical Clinic and Health Centre]&lt;/small&gt;

* Our structure was so successful that many doctors [were] [[volunteering]] to... work there from [[Germany]], [[Switzerland]] and [[Austria]], and so this [[Physician|doctor]] who has now become my friend... asked me to design doctor housing because there was no hotel in the area. ...I went again to be inspired by tradition: how we build housing in [[w:Burkina Faso|Burkina]]... either cylindric or a box.., and from that we create a... little compound... Here '''the idea was to try and build a small house... mimicking the size of the housing of the local people, with the idea that people can... copy this way of building to improve their homes. ...It looked very [[Simplicity|simple]] ...inside, very very simple, but it is [[luxury]] in Burkina Faso. ...Where you have a shower and a toilet in my country is, even today a big big luxury.'''

* I could achieve this even using... clay bricks.., seen as poor people['s] construction material.

* Another project... is Lycee Schorge... and Burkina Institute of Technology. ...This client came to tell me... we want to give something back... to create a high school in honor of his brother... [H]is nickname was Schorge... and later they wanted to create a BIT in the image of [[Massachusetts Institute of Technology|MIT]]. ...'''Things are growing fast in {{w|Burkina Faso}}. ...[P]eople come to city... to settle around [[w:Structure#Load-bearing|structures]]. ...[I]n twenty years time this will be a {{w|city centre}}.'''
** &lt;small&gt;'''Ref''': [https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/building/lycee-schorge Lycée Schorge] @Kéré Architecture.&lt;/small&gt;

* I wanted to create a compound-like structure that will create a courtyard to protect the student... from the element[s] and... to increase... [[w:Ventilation (architecture)|ventilation]] systems on adding a... [[w:Windcatcher|wind tower]], and I wanted to use this time [[w:Laterite#Building blocks|laterite]].., a construction material in Burkina Faso, but also neglected more and more because people think it is for poor people. ...To get them to be accepted we cut them with a machine. With the cutting they become regular, and with this it has become a modern construction material.

* '''[Y]ou will see kids standing and watching what is happening. ...[S]ometime when we... build it is like a big theater.., a big performance.''' ...The community come to watch.

* [W]e wanted to add [[w:Eucalyptus camaldulensis|Eucalyptus wood]]. Eucalyptus wood is special.., if you cut it... you have more finger[s] growing out, and they are so straight that people... use them for scaffolding.., or to burn, and I decided to... introduce them to architecture to create structure.., ''visière''... a skin to protect buildings.

* '''[W]e decided to get [[women]] from the community to be part of the work. ...The community is participating.''' ...[Y]ou have women sanding the wood, almost like a [[meditation]], but... they also earn money... [I]n this way... the project... become[s] part of the community. '''It is creating an [[identity]]. People know how the building was made, and they have been part of the building, but they also earn money... to feed their family.'''

* In the back side we have seatings. You can sit... on the wood that we had been using to create a sort of ''{{w|brise soleil}}.''

* [T]he technology for the BIT, because it's a... technology center, I wanted to use clay in a different way, to pour clay like you would do with concrete. ...We end up coming to an agreement to create the form... and with this... create one classroom at a time. ...So the more students are coming, we keep pouring more classrooms. ...[I]t is open to the east, and to the south it's protected with sun-shading wood element[s]. ...[T]he ventilation elements ...[are] different... [from] the high school ...crossing the buildings.

* Inside you have a very open courtyard where...the students can be. [The structure] is very warm, very welcoming and inspiring. ...After class you will see the student[s] playing with the other younger students from the high school.

* [A]t night you have [[light]], and light is so important. ...One of the reasons I have realized why I'm doing the work... is to bring knowledge to my people. First I started with [[w:Gando, Burkina Faso|Gando]] and then I came to be able to do many many projects in many places... Burkina Faso is still my focus... '''I realize... that [[education]] is like light... what you can see in the night.'''

* [[Hope]]... because what I have been seeing... during my work.., facing this discussion about who is the best partner for Africa. Who can better help Africa? ...I don't know. Today some voices are saying [[China]] has an advantage... in the competition. ...Here, dear community from [[w:Columbia University|Columbia]].., when I did my first lecture in your place, let's say I was working with simply my relatives from my village, brothers and sisters and cousins. Nowadays I have this big structure working with me (very big group of people) and if you add the women.., I have more than 300 or 400 people sometime... working and earning money. ...Your keeping these young people from the risk to take a boat and go... to Europe, the West, to America, and... you know what's happening with [[populism]]. ...[P]eople just use ...other people ...to oppose. ...People are looking ...for opportunity to live a simple and better life.

* Look at what I'm doing... with my work. Here we're trying to create a water basin. ...People just dig and we construct... This is in the site of the BIT and the high school. ...With this you can store water ...to grow trees, the same like we're building, step by step, classes, and you see these tree[s] are creating shadow for my people.

* Maybe with my architecture I am contributing to bring my people to the position to not see things like big and for corporation... This is... what motivated me to do what I am doing. You see these young people. Those kids are now in the BIT learning... [[New York City|New York]] has been built with people, and... in my work I want my people to be inspired to build their own future, and I want people like you... to see that I'm considering what I'm doing... as important as the same way New York has been built. '''You may laugh, but... a little school in [[w:Gando, Burkina Faso|Gando]] is, in the eyes of my community, maybe the same... [as] how they build a high rise in New York... very inspiring.'''

=== Giving Me Penny (Apr 3, 2024) ===
:&lt;small&gt;- Interview with the Architect Diébédo Francis Kéré. A YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vkhnd849S7w video]''' from the Bauwelt channel.&lt;/small&gt;

* I learned this in Germany, to learn how to use... technology.., modern knowledge and adapting them to the need of the people. ...[T]his was only possible because I was working with the people. So learning... old techniques from my people, training to make them a little better.., to make them last longer.., to connect traditional knowledge to modern knowledge. '''[S]ometimes I feel like a bridge... between your culture and my own culture, between your culture of [[science]] and mine, which is on the very beginning... [of] development'''... 

* I am teaching my people to be able to build this project... When we started... 15 people and... at a certain time... more than 50... belonged to my staff... showing them how to do what I'm doing. ...It sounds so &quot;teacher&quot; ...no, no, no ...I was trying to find solution[s] with them... [T]hey're so full of creativity... of talent, but... today we are doing projects... and my people get paid! My people can earn money from their work..! I am proud to see that. '''We just started very [[Naivety|naive]]. Everybody was laughing. Now we have a school. It's working. We have teacher houses which are being called [[w:Refrigerator|fridge]] of Gando... where it is cool like fridge.'''

* '''I left my village to go to the city and attend education. ...[W]hen I came on holiday, home, all the women... in my village... here they put their last penny, and they open all the time this... to give my their last penny. ...I will never forget this ...[O]ne day I asked my mother, &quot;Why all the women in the village are [[Love|loving]] me... that much that they give me money?&quot; and my mother said... &quot;Yes, ...they love you, of course, but... they're giving you [[credit]] so you can help them one day.&quot; ...That is why this women's center is so important for me.''' ...It is ... for the women in my village.., to whom my own mother belong, my own sisters. Everybody will be concerned about this project... [T]his project will impact the life of 3,000 women.., and these... will have an impact on... 12,000... because their family will benefit. ...We will give them ...adult education ...They will have their {{w|microcredit}} system trying to improve their [[Economics|economical]] situation. Trying also to train them to have a better position in the family. ...'''[I]n [[Africa]], [[women's rights]]? ...[I]n countries where people are poor, the people suffering ...are the women''', and this is also in Gando, and '''that's what I'm going to change.''' ...€70,000 euro ...can change life of more than 12,000 people ...This is my latest project for my village. ...'''[T]he roofs will be made ...with {{w|Eucalyptus}} ...by myself and my people, and the women will help build the house like they used to do. ...[I]t will be a big step for my people, for the women! ...[W]e will use a clay floor ...and we will raise the building ...to have natural [[w:Ventilation (architecture)|ventilation]] coming from the ground ...and the air will circulate through the roof, through the ventilation system through openings in the ceiling ...and solar panels ...to have electricity ...My people are great and the women are great! Without women there is no Africa.'''

=== A Conversation with 2024 Crystal Awardee Francis Kéré  (Mar 15, 2022) ===
:&lt;small&gt;| Davos 2024 | {{w|World Economic Forum}}. A '''Creative Commons [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1809sFp3ag video]''' from the World Economic Forum YouTube channel.&lt;/small&gt;

* [F]rom [[w:Gando, Burkina Faso|Gando]] to [[w:World Economic Forum|Davos]] is a very very long way, but it's a way that I enjoyed... very much, and it's a way where you realize your [[privilege]]. ...To look back and see that I have been one of the very few... to attend [[education]]... and to learn how to build and to come back and be able to work together with the community to create... a building. An effort that I have always seen as a matter of [[heart]]. ...In my place every member of the [[community]] has to contribute... to the growth of the community, and I have been very far away in the world that was not known to my people. [[Germany]] is so far away. &quot;What is he doing there?&quot; So especially your mom will be attacked.., saying &quot;Get him back. He should come and help to work in the field. His father was stupid enough to let him go; the first son, and not to contribute... doing [[agriculture]].&quot;

* I feel very very privileged. I created the school as a student... because... 3 years after I start to study architecture in [[Berlin]] I suddenly feel I know a lot... I will go back and work with the community. ...'''[T]he school has been selected as one of the 21 most influential buildings in the world since the [[World War II|Second World War]].'''
** &lt;small&gt;'''Ref''': [https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/building/gando-primary-school-3 Gando Primary School] @Kéré Architecture.&lt;/small&gt;

* I left... my family when I was 7, so... I was thinking... what can I do to keep the kids home, by their community, by their families, but... to attend education. Education is so highly needed, and so... after I got the scholarship and I started to study architecture, I grew the idea... solve this... creating the school.., but the school should be within the reality of the people: the social context, the economical context and the cultural context. ...[P]eople used to work together. If it come[s] to building, you need the entire community, and that['s] what I've done.

* I can see the work of an architect as those of a [[Sociology|sociologist]]. ...You're trying to shape people['s] life. ...It is in a house where you share intimacy. This is where we rest.., where we spend most of our time. ...[W]e work in buildings. ...[T]he role of an architect is caring. Shortly said, [it] is caring for humanity... '''[C]aring means to think about solutions where you could create comfort, for people to really stay.., spend their time, and fulfill their dreams.'''

* '''Now you hear a big word, &quot;[[sustainability]]&quot;... Honestly.., I was just doing my [[work]], and then... good people realized... there is more than just words around what he is doing. There is a depth, and that saved me. I didn't need... to really use the word properly, but to build, and to build with the people and to use the resources I believe will open a [[future]] to my [[community]]...

* '''[N]owadays {{w|construction}} is over-complicated [[regulation]]''', and even... how... you apply material. Everything is so [[Complexity|complex]], and you cannot [[Innovation|innovate]] anymore... [W[hat I do is to try every time I have a chance to build in [[Western world|the West]] and to gather with professionals to make sure we will be able to come out with [[quality]]. So first I have a big [[vision]], and I try to put as much... [[insight]] in... knowing that if they try to decompose it, to take away elements, ...at the end of the day a core will remain that is quality.., '''but... I'm trying to use the opportunity that in other places in the world construction can still be innovative''', and there I push ...it as a chance to innovate, and then bring this back to [[Germany]].

* [T]he Kéré Foundation... was born out of sheer necessity... I was a student. I had a big heart for my community. I wanted to give them a school. ...I could design, but where to get the money? ...I met every political party ...&quot;Oh, I have an idea to build a school in Africa.&quot; [Answer:} &quot;Oh wow, in Africa. You're so naive. It's so corrupt! ...You think you could do something?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;I didn't give up. ...Running, running, running, trying to explain why there is a need for me to build a school, and then there is a [[Social rejection|rejection]]. &quot;Why you and not the government, and you're a student, why should you do that? Why you don't wait?&quot; I had been facing all of that, and one day I stopped. ...I honestly started to push my colleague[s] to smoke less or drink less coffee, but fund my project, and so... people start to put money in the box that I designed for the school.., a mock-up of the school... used as a box to collect money...&lt;br /&gt;Suddenly someone said, &quot;Oh, it's illegal to collect money like this in Germany! ...You need a structure,&quot; and so we created the foundation ''Schulbausteine für Gando...'' which means, construction bricks for the school in Gando... I got $50,000 U.S. dollars... to build a school. So '''the Kéré Foundation is a nonprofit structure that I founded as a student to be able to do my work'''...

* Later on the school was so successful.., but with the growing success of my architecture there was still a struggle to get the money, and friends... started six years ago to say.., &quot;Francis, it's important that you connect... the name of your foundation with the success of your architecture. ...Why you don't call it Kéré Foundation?&quot; and so we call it Kéré Foundation. ...There's still a struggle, but I have... client[s] that are really looking forward to support this structure... to share my work... to my fellow Africans... [and] to the world.

* [[Youth|Young people are looking for opportunities.]] They try... to go somewhere else. They don't leave because they want to leave. '''They leave because their life conditions.. are bad. ...[W]ith my modest workshop''' ...20 years now.., '''I have more than 500 young people in {{w|Burkina Faso}} that really earn money, and... make a living, and they will never take the road through the [[Sahara]] to come to [[Western world|the West]]... If we develop [[community]].., make them [[Strength|stronger]], enabling the youth... to build a better [[future]] for generations to come, we will heal our places and contribute to [[world peace|peace in the world]]. ...[T]his is what I can say through my modest [[work]], and not more.'''

== Quotes about Kéré ==

=== Francis Kéré  (Jun 5, 2014) ===
:&lt;small&gt;Architect Diébédo Francis Kéré. A YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEYzonL9ecY video] from the DW News channel.&lt;/small&gt;

* Diébédo Francis Kéré left his homeland over 20 years ago, and he's been on the move ever since. He has architectural projects all over the world, but those closes to his heart are in his homeland, {{w|Burkina Faso}}.

* Kéré works with simple materials, designing elegant efficient buildings using resources available locally, and he develops new ideas, like... [the] double roof that allows the air to circulate and cost efficiently cool the school.

* Kéré's biggest project is the [[w:Opera Village Africa|Opera Village]] in Burkina Faso, a dream of the late artist, {{w|Christoph Schlingensief}}, whose widow Aino Laberenz is still working with Kéré.
** &lt;small&gt;'''Ref''': [https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/building/opera-village-burkina-faso Opera Village Burkina Faso] @Kéré Architecture.&lt;/small&gt;

* His school, created from mud bricks, has won him global fame.
** &lt;small&gt;'''Ref''': [https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/building/gando-primary-school-3 Gando Primary School] @Kéré Architecture.&lt;/small&gt;

* '''His office studio in [[Berlin]] is a multicultural [[laboratory]], and his second [[home]].'''

* Kéré doesn't just want to copy architectural styles in Europe, but to observe and learn, wherever he happens to be.

* Kéré developed his own recipe for making bricks, 8 buckets of cement added to 92 buckets of clay. This mixture makes his building resistant to rain and termites. He learned to work with clay at an old brick work factory in Germany.

* '''He's determined that despite a minimum of resources and adverse conditions, he'll find a unique aesthetic for [[Africa]]. That's a promise he's made to his country.'''

=== Diébédo Francis Kéré Receives the 2022 {{w|Pritzker Architecture Prize}} (Mar 15, 2022) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[https://www.pritzkerprize.com/laureates/diebedo-francis-kere Diébédo Francis Kéré Source] @PritzkerPrize.com&lt;/small&gt;

* &quot;Francis Kéré is pioneering architecture—sustainable to the earth and its inhabitants—in lands of extreme scarcity. He is equally architect and servant, improving upon the lives and experiences of countless citizens in a region... that is at times forgotten... Through buildings that demonstrate beauty, modesty, boldness and invention, and by the integrity of his architecture and [[wikt:geste#Noun_5|geste]], Kéré gracefully upholds the mission of this Prize.&quot;
** [[w:Thomas Pritzker|Tom Pritzker]], Chairman of The {{w|Hyatt}} Foundation.

* Francis Kéré empowers and transforms communities through the process of architecture. Through his commitment to social justice and engagement, and intelligent use of local materials to connect and respond to the natural climate, he works in marginalized countries... where architecture and infrastructure are absent.

* Building contemporary school institutions, health facilities, professional housing, civic buildings and public spaces, oftentimes in lands where resources are fragile and fellowship is vital, the expression of his works exceeds the value of a building itself.

* Startup Lions Campus... uses local quarry stone and stacked towers for passive cooling to minimize the air conditioning... Burkina Institute of Technology... is composed of cooling clay walls... were cast in-situ to accelerate the... Overhanging [[w:Eucalyptus camaldulensis|eucalyptus]]... were repurposed to line the angled corrugated metal roofs, which protect the building during the country’s brief rainy reason, and rainwater is collected underground to irrigate mango plantations on the premises. A facade... of eucalyptus wood surrounds the elliptical building, creating flexible outdoor spaces that emit light...
** &lt;small&gt;'''Ref''': [https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/building/startup-lions-campus Startup Lions Campus] @Kéré Architecture.&lt;/small&gt;

* A [[Poetry|poetic]] expression of [[light]] is consistent throughout Kéré’s works. Rays of sun filter into buildings, courtyards and intermediary spaces, overcoming harsh midday conditions to offer places of serenity or gathering. The concrete roof of Gando Primary School Library was poured around a grid of traditional clay pots, that... left openings allowing heat to escape while circular beams of natural light could... illuminate the interiors.
** &lt;small&gt;'''Ref''': [https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/building/gando-primary-school-library Gando Primary School Library] @Kéré Architecture.&lt;/small&gt;

* Kéré’s designs are laced with symbolism and his works... are influenced by his upbringing and experiences in [[w:Gando, Burkina Faso|Gando]]. The {{w|West Africa}}n tradition of communing under a sacred [[Trees|tree]] to exchange [[ideas]], narrate [[Story|stories]], [[Celebration|celebrate]] and assemble, is recurrent throughout.

* Many of Kéré's... works are... in [[Africa]].., including the Republic of {{w|Benin}}, {{w|Burkino Faso}}, [[Mali]], {{w|Togo}}, [[Kenya]], {{w|Mozambique}}... and [[Sudan]]. Pavilions and installations and have been created in [[Denmark]], [[Germany]], [[Italy]], [[Switzerland]], the [[United Kingdom]] and the [[United States]].

* Kéré established Kéré Foundation in 1998 to serve the inhabitants of Gando... and Kéré Architecture in 2005 in [[Berlin]]... Kéré is the 51st Laureate of the {{w|Pritzker Architecture Prize}}, and is a dual citizen of {{w|Burkina Faso}} and [[Germany]].

=== Jury Citation: 2022 {{w|Pritzker Architecture Prize}}  (Mar 15, 2022) ===
:&lt;small&gt;[https://www.pritzkerprize.com/laureates/diebedo-francis-kere#laureate-page-2441 Jury Citation Source] @PritzkerPrize.com&lt;/small&gt;

* His [[Culture|cultural]] sensitivity not only delivers social and environmental [[justice]], but guides his entire process, in the awareness that it is the path towards the legitimacy of a building in a community. '''He knows, from within, that [[architecture]] is not about the object but the objective; not the product, but the process.''' ....His buildings, for and with communities, are ...of those communities—in their making.., materials.., programs and ...unique characters.

* He has drawn from his European architectural formation and work, combining them with the traditions, needs and customs of his country. He was determined to bring resources in [[education]] from [[w:Technical University of Munich|one of the leading Technical Universities in the world]] back to his native land and to have those resources elevate the indigenous know-how, culture and society of his region.

* Kéré understood that an apparently simple goal, namely, to make it possible for children to attend school comfortably, had to be at the [[heart]] of his architectural project.

* For too many people in developing countries, the problem is extreme heat, rather than cold.&lt;br /&gt;In response he developed an ad-hoc, highly performative and expressive architectural vocabulary: double roofs, thermal mass, wind towers, indirect lighting, cross ventilation and shade chambers... [which] have... acquired the status of built dignity.

* In the Serpentine pavilion... he successfully translated into a universal visual language... a long-forgotten essential symbol of [[wikt:primordial#Adjective|primordial]] architecture worldwide: the [[Trees|tree]].
** &lt;small&gt;[https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/design/serpentine-pavilion Serpentine Pavilion] @Kéré Architecture.&lt;/small&gt;

* His simultaneously local and global perspective goes... beyond [[aesthetics]] and good [[intention]]s, allowing him to integrate the [[tradition]]al with the contemporary.

* Francis Kéré’s work... reminds us of the necessary struggle to change unsustainable patterns of [[production]] and [[Consumption (economics)|consumption]]...

* He raises fundamental questions of the meaning of [[wikt:permanent#Adjective|permanence]] and {{w|durability}}...

* [H]is development of a contemporary [[humanism]] merges a deep respect for [[history]], [[tradition]], [[precision]], written and unwritten [[rules]].

* He has shown us how architecture... can reflect and serve needs, including the aesthetic... of peoples throughout the world. '''He has shown us how locality becomes a [[Universal value|universal]] possibility.'''

* '''In a world in crisis, amidst changing values and generations, he reminds us of''' what has been, and will... continue to be a cornerstone of architectural practice: '''a sense of [[community]] and narrative'''... which he... recount[s] with compassion and pride. ...[H]e provides a narrative in which architecture can become a source '''of continued and lasting [[happiness]] and [[joy]].'''

* For the gifts he has created through his work, gifts that go beyond the realm of the architecture discipline, Francis Kéré is named the 2022 [[w:Pritzker Architecture Prize|Pritzker Prize]] {{w|Laureate}}.

== See also ==
* [[Africa]]
* [[Architecture]]
* [[Germany]]

== External links ==
{{wikipedia}}
* [https://www.kuow.org/stories/for-the-first-time-in-its-history-architecture-s-top-award-goes-to-a-black-architect For the first time in its history, architecture's top award goes to a Black architect] @Kuow.org
* [https://www.kerearchitecture.com/work/ Kéré Architecture]
* [https://www.kerefoundation.com/de Kéré Foundation]
* [https://www.holcimfoundation.org/media/news/kere-pritzker-laureate-2022 Sustainable construction: climate, democracy and scarcity are concerns for us all:] Diébédo Francis Kéré wins &quot;Nobel Prize&quot; for Architecture. 2022 Laureate of the Pritzker Architecture Prize @HolcimFoundation.org
* [https://www.pritzkerprize.com/laureates/diebedo-francis-kere Diébédo Francis Kéré Receives the 2022 Pritzker Architecture Prize] @PritzkerPrize.com
* [https://the.akdn/en/en/how-we-work/our-agencies/aga-khan-trust-culture/akaa/primary-school Primary School] (in Burkina Fasa) 2004 [[w:Aga Khan Development Network|Aga Khan]] Award for Architecture @[[w:Aga Khan Development Network|AKDN]]

* Editoriale Domus, Italy
** [https://www.domusweb.it/en/architecture/2011/08/15/francis-kere-in-mali.html Francis Kéré in Mali]
** [https://www.domusweb.it/en/architecture/2010/12/30/francis-kere-see-africa.html Francis Kéré. See Africa]
** [https://www.domusweb.it/en/architecture/2010/11/08/interview-with-diebedo-francis-kere.html Interview with Diébédo Francis Kéré]

* YouTube videos
** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAHeoh4TuCM&amp;list=PL50D0C5BEB7FF3CF9 Pritzker Prize Architect | Francis Kéré: Africa Must Stop Copying the West]
** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KN-H9Hobgps What makes the most famous African architect Diébédo Francis Kéré extraordinary?] @Superstarchitect channel

{{DEFAULTSORT:Kere, Diebedo Francis}}
[[Category:1965 births]]
[[Category:20th-century English architects]]</text>
      <sha1>bidtmbw12afisigcnb67acd80hcxyvo</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>User talk:Abuse fitler</title>
    <ns>3</ns>
    <id>307619</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944149</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T09:49:57Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Saroj</username>
        <id>2925457</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Created page with &quot;{{subst:test3}} ~~~~&quot;</comment>
      <origin>3944149</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="294" sha1="seva1zqffkq4zaak6ybcszajdtubihq" xml:space="preserve">[[Image:Nuvola apps important.svg|left|25px|]]Please stop. If you continue to vandalize pages, add nonsense pages, or pages for nonnotable subjects, you may be [[Wikiquote:Blocking policy|blocked]] from editing Wikiquote. [[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 09:49, 22 May 2026 (UTC)</text>
      <sha1>seva1zqffkq4zaak6ybcszajdtubihq</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Category talk:Islamophobes</title>
    <ns>15</ns>
    <id>307620</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944151</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T10:34:03Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>EarthDude</username>
        <id>3228931</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Created talk page with the vfd discussion</comment>
      <origin>3944151</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="38" sha1="eg2bwo57qj4ish5r16rgofp7icblizx" xml:space="preserve">{{Vfd-kept-new|Category:Islamophobes}}</text>
      <sha1>eg2bwo57qj4ish5r16rgofp7icblizx</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Bruno Mars</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>307621</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944153</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T10:38:43Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Saroj</username>
        <id>2925457</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>#100wikiquotedays</comment>
      <origin>3944153</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="2529" sha1="n8ph5e8w35twa98vxywoyjl1mnzd5ft" xml:space="preserve">[[File:BrunoMars24KMagicWorldTourLive (cropped).jpg|thumb|Mars in 2017]]
'''[[w:Bruno Mars|Peter Gene Hernandez]]''' (born October 8, 1985), known professionally as '''Bruno Mars''', is an American singer-songwriter, record producer and dancer. Regarded as a [[w:Pop icon|pop icon]], he is known for his three-octave [[w:Tenor|tenor]] vocal range, live performances, retro showmanship, and musical versatility. He is accompanied by his band, the Hooligans. Raised in [[Honolulu]], Mars gained recognition in Hawaii as a child for his [[w:Elvis impersonator|impersonation]] of [[Elvis Presley]], before moving to [[Los Angeles]] in 2003 to pursue a musical career.

{{singer-stub}}
== Quotes ==

* I've had big record label presidents look me in the face and say, 'Your music sucks, you don't know who you are, your music is all over the place, and we don't know how to market this stuff. Pick a lane and come back to us.' That was disgusting to me, because I'm not trying to be a circus act.
* I listen to a lot of music, and I want to have the freedom and luxury to walk into a studio and say, 'Today I want to do a hip-hop, R&amp;B, soul or rock record.'
** Billboard Staff (September 28, 2012). [https://www.billboard.com/music/music-news/bruno-mars-to-release-unorthodox-jukebox-dec-11-exclusive-474883/ &quot;Bruno Mars to Release 'Unorthodox Jukebox' Dec. 11: Exclusive&quot;]. ''Billboard''.

== Song lyrics ==

* When I see your face&lt;br&gt;There's not a thing that I would change&lt;br&gt;'Cause you're amazing&lt;br&gt;Just the way you are&lt;br&gt;And when you smile&lt;br&gt;The whole world stops and stares for a while&lt;br&gt;'Cause, girl, you're amazing&lt;br&gt;Just the way you are
** &quot;[[w:Just the Way You Are (Bruno Mars song)|Just the Way You Are]]&quot;

* Put your pinky rings up to the moon&lt;br&gt;Girls, what y'all tryna do?&lt;br&gt;24-karat magic in the air&lt;br&gt;Head to toe so player&lt;br&gt;Look out, uh
** &quot;[[w:24K Magic (song)|24K Magic]]&quot;

== External links== 
{{Wikipedia}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Mars, Bruno}}
[[Category:1985 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:Singer-songwriters from the United States]]
[[Category:Musicians from the United States]]
[[Category:Dancers from the United States]]
[[Category:Hispanic Americans]]
[[Category:Jews from the United States]]
[[Category:R&amp;B singers]]
[[Category:Pop singers]]
[[Category:Soul singers]]
[[Category:Brit Award winners]]
[[Category:Grammy Award winners]]
[[Category:MTV Europe Music Award winners]]
[[Category:MTV Video Music Award winners]]
[[Category:Singers from Los Angeles]]
[[Category:Singers from Hawaii]]</text>
      <sha1>n8ph5e8w35twa98vxywoyjl1mnzd5ft</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>Bernard Knox</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>307622</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944156</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T10:57:10Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Ficaia</username>
        <id>3085955</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Created page with &quot;'''[[w:Bernard Knox|Bernard MacGregor Walker Knox]]''' (November 24, 1914 – July 22, 2010) was an English classicist, author, and critic who became an American citizen. He was the first director of the Center for Hellenic Studies. In 1992 the National Endowment for the Humanities selected Knox for the Jefferson Lecture, the U.S. federal government's highest honor for achievement in the humanities.  == Quotes ==  === ''The Oldest Dead White European Males and Other Refl...&quot;</comment>
      <origin>3944156</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3537" sha1="28w8hi4lli4wbw19ivkqb9s4dlkjs63" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Bernard Knox|Bernard MacGregor Walker Knox]]''' (November 24, 1914 – July 22, 2010) was an English classicist, author, and critic who became an American citizen. He was the first director of the Center for Hellenic Studies. In 1992 the National Endowment for the Humanities selected Knox for the Jefferson Lecture, the U.S. federal government's highest honor for achievement in the humanities.

== Quotes ==

=== ''The Oldest Dead White European Males and Other Reflections on the Classics'' (1993) ===
:&lt;small&gt;'''New York: W. W. Norton'''&lt;/small&gt;

* When we think of the two great flaws in {{w|Athenian democracy}} that recent scholarship has explored and emphasized, we ought to remember not only that slavery and male dominance were characteristic of all ancient societies but also that we, of all people, have no right to cast die first stone. [[Pericles]]' proud claim for Athenian democracy—power in die hands of the people, equality before die law—does not mention the slaves, but our [[Declaration of Independence]]—'that all men are created equal'—does not mention them either, although the men who drafted it and many of those who signed it were owners of African slaves. ... As for the other flaw, the exclusion of women from Athenian public life, we should not forget that women in these United States had to struggle for more than half a century before die [[w:Nineteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Nineteenth Amendment]] to the Constitution gave them full voting rights in 1920; that Great Britain reluctantly made the same concession in 1928; and that the French took die last word of the revolutionary slogan ''{{w|liberté, égalité, fraternité}}'' so literally that French women were not given the right to vote until 1945.
** pp. 65-66

* They invented democracy more than two thousand years before any modern Western nation took the first steps toward it; they invented not only philosophy and the theater but also the model of a national literature, with its canon of great writers, its critics and commentators, its libraries; they invented organized competitive athletics...; they invented political theory, rhetoric, biology, zoology, the atomic theory—one could go on. Above all, in startling contrast to the magnificent but static civilizations of the great Eastern river valleys—Tigris, Euphrates, and Nile—they created in the restless turbulence of their tiny city-states that impatient rhythm of competition and innovation that has been the distinguishing characteristic of Western civilization ever since.
** pp. 66-67

* The [[w:Greek language|language]] inscribed on the fire-baked clay tablets found at Pylos, on the mainland, and at Knossos, on Crete, dating from 1600 B.C., is recognizably a primitive form of the language in which the newspapers in Athens are written today. Of course, in this immense stretch of time, the language has undergone many changes, but no other European language even comes close to claiming such longevity; the only real parallel, in fact, is [[w:Chinese language|Chinese]].
** &quot;The Continuity of Greek Culture&quot;, pp. 108-109

* What modern Greece offers the student of classical literature is just as great as what it offers the archaeologist, if not greater.
** p. 130

== External links ==
* {{Wikipedia-inline}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Knox, Bernard}}

[[Category:1914 births]]
[[Category:2010 deaths]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from the United States]]
[[Category:Academics from the United States]]
[[Category:Classical scholars]]</text>
      <sha1>28w8hi4lli4wbw19ivkqb9s4dlkjs63</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944157</id>
      <parentid>3944156</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T10:58:03Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Ficaia</username>
        <id>3085955</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>+[[Category:University of Cambridge alumni]]; +[[Category:Yale University alumni]]; +[[Category:Yale University faculty]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]]</comment>
      <origin>3944157</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="3654" sha1="m84k81srzfknqnq93pdmpnriri0tpc4" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:Bernard Knox|Bernard MacGregor Walker Knox]]''' (November 24, 1914 – July 22, 2010) was an English classicist, author, and critic who became an American citizen. He was the first director of the Center for Hellenic Studies. In 1992 the National Endowment for the Humanities selected Knox for the Jefferson Lecture, the U.S. federal government's highest honor for achievement in the humanities.

== Quotes ==

=== ''The Oldest Dead White European Males and Other Reflections on the Classics'' (1993) ===
:&lt;small&gt;'''New York: W. W. Norton'''&lt;/small&gt;

* When we think of the two great flaws in {{w|Athenian democracy}} that recent scholarship has explored and emphasized, we ought to remember not only that slavery and male dominance were characteristic of all ancient societies but also that we, of all people, have no right to cast die first stone. [[Pericles]]' proud claim for Athenian democracy—power in die hands of the people, equality before die law—does not mention the slaves, but our [[Declaration of Independence]]—'that all men are created equal'—does not mention them either, although the men who drafted it and many of those who signed it were owners of African slaves. ... As for the other flaw, the exclusion of women from Athenian public life, we should not forget that women in these United States had to struggle for more than half a century before die [[w:Nineteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Nineteenth Amendment]] to the Constitution gave them full voting rights in 1920; that Great Britain reluctantly made the same concession in 1928; and that the French took die last word of the revolutionary slogan ''{{w|liberté, égalité, fraternité}}'' so literally that French women were not given the right to vote until 1945.
** pp. 65-66

* They invented democracy more than two thousand years before any modern Western nation took the first steps toward it; they invented not only philosophy and the theater but also the model of a national literature, with its canon of great writers, its critics and commentators, its libraries; they invented organized competitive athletics...; they invented political theory, rhetoric, biology, zoology, the atomic theory—one could go on. Above all, in startling contrast to the magnificent but static civilizations of the great Eastern river valleys—Tigris, Euphrates, and Nile—they created in the restless turbulence of their tiny city-states that impatient rhythm of competition and innovation that has been the distinguishing characteristic of Western civilization ever since.
** pp. 66-67

* The [[w:Greek language|language]] inscribed on the fire-baked clay tablets found at Pylos, on the mainland, and at Knossos, on Crete, dating from 1600 B.C., is recognizably a primitive form of the language in which the newspapers in Athens are written today. Of course, in this immense stretch of time, the language has undergone many changes, but no other European language even comes close to claiming such longevity; the only real parallel, in fact, is [[w:Chinese language|Chinese]].
** &quot;The Continuity of Greek Culture&quot;, pp. 108-109

* What modern Greece offers the student of classical literature is just as great as what it offers the archaeologist, if not greater.
** p. 130

== External links ==
* {{Wikipedia-inline}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Knox, Bernard}}

[[Category:1914 births]]
[[Category:2010 deaths]]
[[Category:Non-fiction authors from the United States]]
[[Category:Academics from the United States]]
[[Category:Classical scholars]]
[[Category:University of Cambridge alumni]]
[[Category:Yale University alumni]]
[[Category:Yale University faculty]]</text>
      <sha1>m84k81srzfknqnq93pdmpnriri0tpc4</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
  <page>
    <title>John Skylitzes</title>
    <ns>0</ns>
    <id>307623</id>
    <revision>
      <id>3944162</id>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T11:29:48Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Ficaia</username>
        <id>3085955</id>
      </contributor>
      <comment>Created page with &quot;'''[[w:John Skylitzes|John Skylitzes]]''' (Greek: Ἰωάννης Σκυλίτζης, Latin: ''Ioannes Scyllitzes''; early 1040s – after 1101), was a Byzantine historian of the late 11th century. {{Stub}}  == Quotes ==  * οἶδε γὰρ ἡ ἀνάγνωσις ἀνάμνησιν ἐμποιεῖν, ἡ δ᾽ ἀνάμνησις τρέφειν καὶ μεγαλύνειν τὴν μνήμην, ὥσπερ τουναντίον ἡ ἀμέλεια καὶ ῥαστώ...&quot;</comment>
      <origin>3944162</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1129" sha1="de6q4ifq1xm95usht13ql1gk7h5tzca" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:John Skylitzes|John Skylitzes]]''' (Greek: Ἰωάννης Σκυλίτζης, Latin: ''Ioannes Scyllitzes''; early 1040s – after 1101), was a Byzantine historian of the late 11th century.
{{Stub}}

== Quotes ==

* οἶδε γὰρ ἡ ἀνάγνωσις ἀνάμνησιν ἐμποιεῖν, ἡ δ᾽ ἀνάμνησις τρέφειν καὶ μεγαλύνειν τὴν μνήμην, ὥσπερ τουναντίον ἡ ἀμέλεια καὶ ῥαστώνη ἐπιφέρειν ἀμνηστίαν, ἦτινι πάντως ἕπεται λήθη ἀμαυροῦσα καὶ συγχέουσα τὴν μνήμην τῶν πεπραγμένων.
** Reading provokes recollection; recollection nourishes and expands memory, just as, quite the contrary, negligence and laziness provoke forgetfulness which darkens and confuses the memory of what has happened in the past. 
** Σύνοψις Ἱστοριῶν (''Synopsis of Histories''), Foreword, 53–57 (ed. Hans Thurn, 1973; tr. John Wortley, 2010)

== External links ==
* {{Wikipedia-inline}}

[[Category:Historians from Greece]]
[[Category:Chroniclers</text>
      <sha1>de6q4ifq1xm95usht13ql1gk7h5tzca</sha1>
    </revision>
    <revision>
      <id>3944163</id>
      <parentid>3944162</parentid>
      <timestamp>2026-05-22T11:29:58Z</timestamp>
      <contributor>
        <username>Ficaia</username>
        <id>3085955</id>
      </contributor>
      <origin>3944163</origin>
      <model>wikitext</model>
      <format>text/x-wiki</format>
      <text bytes="1131" sha1="80pbvv8x8h9i35ws0838117gf7w55y1" xml:space="preserve">'''[[w:John Skylitzes|John Skylitzes]]''' (Greek: Ἰωάννης Σκυλίτζης, Latin: ''Ioannes Scyllitzes''; early 1040s – after 1101), was a Byzantine historian of the late 11th century.
{{Stub}}

== Quotes ==

* οἶδε γὰρ ἡ ἀνάγνωσις ἀνάμνησιν ἐμποιεῖν, ἡ δ᾽ ἀνάμνησις τρέφειν καὶ μεγαλύνειν τὴν μνήμην, ὥσπερ τουναντίον ἡ ἀμέλεια καὶ ῥαστώνη ἐπιφέρειν ἀμνηστίαν, ἦτινι πάντως ἕπεται λήθη ἀμαυροῦσα καὶ συγχέουσα τὴν μνήμην τῶν πεπραγμένων.
** Reading provokes recollection; recollection nourishes and expands memory, just as, quite the contrary, negligence and laziness provoke forgetfulness which darkens and confuses the memory of what has happened in the past. 
** Σύνοψις Ἱστοριῶν (''Synopsis of Histories''), Foreword, 53–57 (ed. Hans Thurn, 1973; tr. John Wortley, 2010)

== External links ==
* {{Wikipedia-inline}}

[[Category:Historians from Greece]]
[[Category:Chroniclers]]</text>
      <sha1>80pbvv8x8h9i35ws0838117gf7w55y1</sha1>
    </revision>
  </page>
</mediawiki>